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phenomenalgirl9 · 1 year

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Renascence: Hwang Hyunjin x OC

Part 4

Summary: The arcane are everywhere around you they are actually more normal than you think, but what of the anomalies in the arcane like Y/n? It definitely isn't easy. Specially when the nature is always out there to get you and the ones one you love. Loosing a loved one is difficult but when you've done it a couple of times. No matter how many births he took, watching Hyunjin fade wasn't easy for you. How far are you willing to go this time to protect him? Would things be different this time round?

A/n: there are mentions of blood

WC: 1k

<- Previous

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He couldn't stop drawing, he had to make it and he had to make it right. He had to paint it before he forgets. He could finally put a face to the voice, well at least eyes. And that is why Hyunjin is in the art-studio surrounded by his friends and brother who refuse to leave him as he refuses to leave this room unless he's made "it". He once again was disappointed with the drawing result and tore off the page and threw it not even bothering to see where still hitting Seungmin square in the face.

"Ouch" he groaned as he tried to shake off a sleepy Yunho off him.

"Remind me why he HAS to do it here again?" Yeosang asked him.

"Better supplies" Seungmin murmured.

Meanwhile, Yeonjun watched his brother having another 'Painting attack' as he called it. He's had this numerous times since they were kids. The time after their parents died, these attacks became frequent, thank God he had his friends who helped him to keep Hyunjin on check. Even though Changbin and Yeosang are passed out and snoring. Yeonjun knew better than to disturb or talk to his brother now, so he stayed silent.

Meanwhile Hyunjin was lost, at last he had managed it. To make exactly what he saw, down to the mole under the eye of the woman who visits him. Calls him. Soothes him. He started using paint, remembering every detail of those beautiful eyes, deep as the ocean by heart.

He smiled as he mixed the colors, getting the exact shades. Yeonjun watched his brother, Hyunjin was in deep concentration. He watches as Hyunjin keeps mixing colors and applying them, he only hopes this is his final try.

2 hours later, the sound of a thud was heard, Yeonjun and Seungmin looked up to find Hyunjin finally sitting down. As he looked around and took in his surroundings. It was way past 12, almost 1.

"Are you done?" Seungmin asked, waking Yunho, who sat up groggily.

Hyunjin nodded, eyes back on the canvas.

"Can we see it?" Yeonjun asked, earning a nod again.

The three rushed to see Hyunjin's new creation. A pair of eyes. They'd be damn if they didn't say it was a beautiful pair of eyes. And the detailing that Hyunjin did, was breath taking.

"Okay, Yunho pick the canvas up carefully, it's wet. Lets go, I'm hungry. Please wake Yeosang up and bring him"

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3 days later

"What do you mean all time security?" Y/n asked

"It means you are to be escorted at all times" Taehyung, your Appa said.

"But dad Minho is in general always with me!" You complaint

"That didn't help, did it" he said through gritted teeth.

"Amber and Jungwon will always be with you! You've taken 3 days to heal!" Jin said

"Why him?" Jeongin piped with a pout.

"Cause I need you on missions" You said ruffling his hair.

"Amber is actually a good choice" Bangchan said, "she could accompany Y/n in places even Minho and Jungwon can't. Like the washroom"

"Shut up Chan!" You said and looked at Amber who's eyes were already on you and had a blush on her face.

"Okay let's go, I have work in the centre. Any leads on the dogs" you said, no it didn't offend Chan and Amber as they know what you meant.

"Seonghwa is still looking into it. We suspect that rogue beta Bambam is involved. But why?" Jin said.

"Let's see. Anyway Appa and dad until when are you here?" You asked

"So eager to shake us off? Don't worry I have my eyes everywhere. But I'll leave today evening" Taehyung came to hug you as you stood up "Your Dad will stay to make sure of your full recovery and then he'll go back. Take care, Sunshine" he said.

You walked inside the 143 Facility, with Minho beside you and Amber and Jungwon behind you. The workers greeted you as Hongjoong Seonghwa's PA (who manages your work more) approached you and told you that days agendas.

You walked in to the research centre, and looked through the updates.

"Our new intern will present the updates" the Head doctor mentioned.

"Hello, I'm Kim Seungmin, so the replecation of the structure is on progress, but we have been able to make the structures into more stable compounds…" (lots of science stuff that I'm not smart enough to write)

The whole time rhat he spoke, rhe guy looked at you with known eyes. As you had a mild smile for this guy you've been acquainted to and with again and again for ages. And at that moment both Y/n and Minho knew a small reason why suddenly there was so much chaos.

"So he's here again" Minho said, he seemed agitated. He did for the whole day and didn't even speak until now that you've reached home.

You nodded, looking distant. Actually you were in deep thoughts.

"You do know, you can move away this time, the research is very close" Jungwon said.

"Um.. what's going on?" Amber asked

"Come and sit here Amber, let me tell you a story" you said, as Amber and out of nowhere Felix and Jeongin also turned up and also joined her.

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"So you're saying these eyes seem familiar to you?" Yunho asked still pointing on the painting sitting on Hyunjin's desk "Why it even here and not in the art room?" He asked, thunking the idea of two painted eyes watching him 24/7.

Hyunjin returned to his room with 3 cans of coke and pointed at Seungmin "Where have you seen her?"

"I don't know man. I can pinpoint where but I have" Seungmin said "Anyway Director Liliac praised me today"

"Oh the hot one?" Yunho asked

"I never said, she's hot. Just beautiful" he collected and found Hyunjin staring into the painting.

And he decided to do it himself.

"I'll put it in the attic studio of yours with the other paintings" Seungmin said and walked away with it before Hyunjin could protest.

He looked around the studio to see the various other paintings. Up until now Hyunjin had only drawn paintings of places. A meadow, a castle looking place, a pre-victorian market, stables. A few places were familiar to him and few weren't. It was the first time he drew her.

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fayeimara · 3 years

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Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

Episode 4. If You're A Masochist

Putting your phone away after posting your latest update, you look around one more time for either of your cousins. The oldest, Ren, had left you with his brother Shin, strictly telling him not to leave you alone before he met back up with you both. But then you convinced Shin to call the car and drop off the bags you'd overloaded him with, agreeing to meet back here this cute café. It had been pretty easy to convince him, seeing as how you could barely make him out over the bags and boxes of items you'd bought for your friends and family back home. It was fair play, after all, you'd brought just as many gifts with you for your cousins here when you'd arrived.

Smiling as you tip the cup of coffee up to your lips, you consider if you've harassed him enough for the day or if you should top it off by ordering him something he'll hate just to see that distressed look on his face. He deserves it for the prank he pulled on you a few days ago, when they picked you up from the station, literally scaring you half silly when he snuck up from behind you, grabbed you, and started to run. You were pretty worried because not a single person in the busy terminal had tried to stop him even though you were clearly (momentarily) terrified and not aware of who had 'kidnapped' you until he'd finally put you down. You guess you should have expected this with him though, given you both have always messed around with each other, pulling fun pranks and stupid stunts, since the two of you were kids, but you'd gotten completely complacent since you'd last seen these oh so lovely cousins of yours.

If there was any doubt on whether you had any payback planned for Ren, well, he was the one who'd grabbed not only your bags but also several pictures of your embarrassing slip in composure, i.e. your briefly terrified face, and shared it with the world. So yeah, you were sure he was sleeping with an eye open for the time being, which is why you would call on your considerable patience before hitting him subtly and satisfyingly when he least expected it.

With that in mind, you head back to the counter to place another order and then ask if there are any specialty dessert shops in the area. Happy to hear of one pretty close, you're sure you'll be able to quickly head over and back before Shin returns.

The shop is as incredible as promised because it only takes them about ten minutes to prepare your custom order of mochi with a spicy twist. Trying one out, you can't help but enjoy the sweet flavour and texture even if you're disappointed that it doesn't seem to have the effect you were hoping for, until you feel the heat slowly build the more you chew. Oh. Oh my. Oh my g- Mouth burning, you quickly gulp at the coffee still in your hand to try and relieve the pain. Okay so.. it's perfect! Cue evil laugh.

You thank the brilliant artisans, because that's what they are, and promise to leave a review on your way out. It's not until you're walking by an alley (how typical, right?) between shops on your way back to the cat café, that you're pulled from your thoughts of not-so-sweet revenge.

"Give it up, kid." It's nothing alarming at first. Not until you hear the next cry.

"Don't touch me! Leave me alone!"

Um. What?

You've stopped even before you turn your head to look in at a couple older guys surrounding a little kid. Seriously, what's with the cliché? You honestly thought this only happened in anime but you guess dummies always prove people wrong.

Debating who you should call, because you're not going to assume adding yourself to the equation alone is going to be any help, you quickly look around only to realize that the only people passing by near or across the street either don't seem to care, or aren't the kind of people you'd feel comfortable asking for any assistance from. People can call you out on stereotyping but really, where's the kind but strong elderly gentleman or tough, no nonsense, do-gooder woman when you need one??

"Hey!" The tears in the kid's voice draw you back, with your head whipping around to witness one of the bullies reach out to grab his collar. Quick kid, he manages to dodge even if barely but he's about to be blindsided by one of the other guys.

You don't even have time to sigh at your stupidity as you run up between them as fast as you can, slapping the second guy's hand away from where it was reaching for the kid's arm.

With that loud sound and dramatic entrance, all eyes are now on you, but the element of surprise does provide enough time for you to pull the boy behind you and back the two of you up a bit so you're both not completely surrounded.

Okay, this kid barely reaches over your hip, he can't be older than about 6 or 7 maybe, what's he doing here alone?

"Well, well. What do we have here?" The first guy that had tried to grab the kid's collar studies you. You want to say his voice is annoying or that he's an ugly creep but he's just an average guy of about a few years older than you. The only distinct feature are his glasses and that's probably because you don't typically think of wannabe thugs in glasses. Again, so sue you for you conventional stereotypes, but you're in a kind of delicate situation to be worried about thinking inside the box.

"Why don't you tell me," You shoot back, pretty upset about this pathetic tableau, "since it looks like three guys old enough to know better than to bully little kids."

The third guy hasn't done much until now but he laughs at your statement and, okay, at least his laugh is kind of annoying, like a dumb donkey's braying. You hope he's trying to fake an evil laugh or something and that's not his real one? Seriously, it sounds forced and fake so you hope for his sake it really is or no one will trust him once they hear it if that's all he has to work with for the rest of his life. You're tempted to say that to his face, but you've also been told by your friends that your reckless impulses tend to escalate the situation when you need the opposite so you hold back.

Because you're outnumbered. With only a crying kid at your back, quite too literally.

"Oh no, we're not bullying him. He's my kid brother, you know? We were just messing with him since he was being a brat and grabbed the new games we just bought."

You hesitate, thinking it over. Did you make assumptions and jump in too fast? He didn't call out for help or say anything specific to indicate he didn't know these guys. You don't want to turn away to look him over, but he had been holding something clutched against his side.

You feel a little hand clench into the back of your dress and a couple tugs follow, so without turning away, you cast your gaze down and meet teary hazel eyes that are peering up with a little hope among the fear, "He's lying, oneesan, I don't know them."

"Ahh, stop lying and dragging the nice, pretty girl into this." Second guy speaks up, trying to reach around you to grab the kid, but you quickly shift the both of you back a bit more. You realize the wall is just behind you, if the kid's gasping sob means anything. You're out of space to maneuver.

So...you're in a tough spot, you've got your hands literally full and you're up against three guys that are definitely living up to your first impression of them. You don't really have time to think it over as 'glasses' loses patience and reaches for you directly, grabbing your arm that's holding the trick mochi and trying to pull you forward. "What's this? Maybe we should take it for the trouble you've added by interfering in a family issue."

"How about this instead?" And before you can pity the loss, you've thumbed off the lid to your delicious hot coffee that you guess won't get to finish drinking, and toss it in his face.

"Arhggh!" Wow, high pitched for a tough guy, but you really can't think about that right now. Goodbye, coffee, your sacrifice is appreciated.

"What the hell, you crazy b-"

"Don't bother, dumbass, it's probably not hot enough to permanently scar him at this point." True story, you like your coffee cooled down more than most.

They're staring at you like you're crazy but it's really just the recklessness you're known for. Although you should have held on to that reminder of your friends' warnings that ran through your head earlier because the situation has definitely been escalated if the mean, hateful looks that are appearing from behind their fake polite masks are anything to go by. They clearly weren't even trying that hard to pretend. While the second guy is supporting his friend who's flailing, 'Fake laugh' reaches for you, this time angled for the collar of your dress or even your neck, "You stupid bitch."

Oh okay. Well, I'm so sorry for my impertinence, god. This is payback for the mochi prank, isn't it? You actually roll your eyes upwards for a split second with that thought.

Then you prepare to drop the maybe-unlucky box for the coming fight but just before his hand reaches you, another suddenly shoots out and grabs it. Hard.

"Don't you know how to treat women, buddy?" Wow, now that's a nice voice.

Shifting your eyes to your left without turning your head, you catch sight of a handsome bedheaded guy about your age. You would probably be all heart eyes in any other situation- who are you kidding? This is literally the perfect situation.

"I don't think he does, but that's probably because he has zero experience with them." Yay, your mouth can run freely with your attitude now that you have some back up. Not that it stopped you earlier, though..

This new guy shifts his gaze to meet yours and looks pretty surprised at your smirky smile (yes you're calling it that). Why so surprised though? You guess you should have been crying or even praising this god for stepping in. Whatever, he's just a boy. Even if he is drool worthy.

He studies you and pauses briefly on the redness marking your wrist from where one of the guys had grabbed you and then his golden eyes flick down to the boy hidden behind you before focusing a steady stare back on the bullies, "I think you should leave before I really get pissed off."

He must be a magician because they vanish pretty fast after his low declaration, supporting their friend who's managed to wipe most of your precious coffee off of his slightly reddened face. Looks like, he'll live to be a dumbass another day. Could've told them that and avoided the escalation. Oh wait, you pretty much did, right?

The guy is turning back to you after watching them leave the alley and you reach for the little kid with the hand that once held your coffee. Feeling his little hand slip into yours, you start to walk the two of you towards the street while keeping your body angled so you don't completely turn your back on this new guy. You swear the amount of times you've had a situation like this turn into something unexpected is a little unnatural. "Wow. Well... Thank you, stranger, for your help."

He narrows those stunning eyes on you but you don't think he's angry, just a little confused for a moment, before he realizes you're equally wary of him. He moves out of the alley after you both, but thankfully not too closely, because you have to turn your back on him so you don't trip or walk into anyone once you reach the main street.

"It's Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsuro."

You silently startle around at the sound of his voice coming from a lot closer to you than expected but compose yourself quickly so as not to offend him by whirling around in alarm.

"Oh, uh.. nice to meet you." Okay, you both should be safe now. You turn back to face him and the kid is now glued to your side, tiny hands gripping your dress with both hands, one at your back and one at the front. At least it's not silk because that would leave quite the wrinkles. "Anyways... we have to get going now to find whoever lost this little guy."

His arm moves up, rubbing his hand in his hair at the back of his sheepishly tilted head. Probably can't get his hair any messier at this point. "That would be me."

"What?" You raise a disbelieving eyebrow. Always the unlikeliest odds with you and really, what are they anyways here in this situation? But it turns out he's not kidding and you're not misunderstanding.

"I'm the one who lost him. That's my little cousin you're trying to walk away with."

"Hey!" You protest his teasing implication, before looking down at the boy. The other guys tried this too, though.

So you delicately crouch down (aware you're in a dress and heeled ankle boots that could spell impending disaster if you lose your balance) to make sure you're at eye level with the kid. He's not crying anymore, but not looking happy or relieved either. Just staring back at you steadily, a little like the calm gaze of this other guy, actually, but let's not go with confirmation bias. Maybe he's just not an overly excitable kid to begin with.

"Do you know this guy?" You ask softly. He told the truth before, under the stress of a pretty scary situation, after all.

He looks over and up at the tall teen claiming to be his cousin before nodding. "Oh." You give the little boy a reassuring smile before leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Can I ask your name?"

And when you turn your ear to him so he can whisper a reply, you hear, "Itsuki."

Giving him another sweet smile, you stand back up and he's glommed right back onto your side. You meet the bedhead's eyes with your own slightly narrowed but steady too, and settle on a serious expression with an eyebrow raised. He hasn't looked away from you even once but that's fair considering you might actually be trying to take away his little cousin... whom he's lost already once today, if we're all being honest.

"What's his name?"

He raises an eyebrow to match yours, stance indicating he's in no rush but expression definitely amused, "You mean Itsuki?"

"Yeah.. okay, then." You look back down at the boy who's reluctantly releasing you as Kuroo moves closer to you both, your smile back on my face. "It was really nice to meet you, Itsuki. Thank you for being so brave and strong back there. I couldn't have sent those bullies away without you!"

"Or me?" Kuroo asks but it's not really a question more like an amused statement sliding into remind you that he did save you both in the end. Isn't he a little too close for politeness?

"I suppose." Now you have tilt your head back to look at him again. Argh, why is it like a compulsion to just stare your life away when you look into those eyes? "Thank you, then.. Kuroo."

"Not that you needed my help." Ohh, he's smirking at you and it. is. something. "You looked like you were mostly holding your own before I stepped in."

You laugh, because he's really just being nice and you don't know what expression your face might make after seeing his smirk if you don't pick amusement, "Pretty sure it was painfully obvious who brought the most advantage on our side if it came to a fight... and it wasn't me."

"Oya? Our side, huh? And what's your criteria for assessing that advantage?"

And before you can stop yourself, his question has you looking him up and down like.. like you're checking him out. Cue your blush. Ugh. You pass it off and try to push through, "What? I'm not supposed to notice that you have the physical advantage over me?"

Yeah, you worded that deliberately and wouldn't change it for anything because it's so worth it to see the red lightly tint his own cheeks. Yeah, I see your thoughts went there.

"Anyways," You start to step backwards, "Really, thank you."

You turn away to walk over to the coffee shop just another door down.

"Wait," You look over to see both Itsuki and Kuroo catch up to you quickly, the latter now holding on to the former gently but firmly, "I should be thanking you. You did step in to help my cousin when not many others would."

"Oya?" You copy his cute phrase with a look at him from the corner of your eyes and a teasing smile of your own, "How do you know he didn't step in to help me?"

"Somehow I doubt that." The three of you come to a stop in front of the coffee shop and Kuroo's distracted for a second, "Wait, this is your stop?"

"Yeah, why?"

He chuckles, "Ours too. We'd just stopped in here ourselves when Itsuki wandered away." We?

"Oh, I was here a little earlier too, but I needed to grab.." You lift the box, ".. this, for someone. I left my order here though."

"You lose your coffee often or just an addict?"

"Haha. Neither. It's... a thing. You'd think I'm horrible if I explain."

"I doubt I'd ever think that at this point. Can I pay for your new order and you can tell me about it over your next cup? You know, as a thank you for putting yourself in a dangerous situation for my cousin." Why does he make that sound both grateful and like a stern admonishment at the same time?

"I covered it already and it wasn't really for me. But I really appreciate the offe-"

You're cut off by the door opening and Shin bursting through with a very exasperated look on his face. Whoops, guess you took too long. He immediately starts complaining, "Where have you been?! Imagine my worry when I arrive here and you're gone! You promised you'd wait here."

Another guy has walked out behind him but you ignore that because you see that Shin's holding the drink you got him, but that has your name on it, and can't help but point out both literally and dryly, "Clearly so worried, you picked up my order in the meantime?"

"Hey, there are two drinks so I figured one was mine! But they're both awful!" Of course he tried them both. His face turns into a sad pout, "Why would you order such sour drinks when you know I hate them! And I know you do too! So... do you really hate me for that little thing? You've been so mean today."

You chuckle because this is literally the perfect opportunity. Well, actually, Kuroo is still standing by politely with Itsuki, watching you both with interest, but that other guy has walked up to them and is now also standing there. Is he gaming out here? Never mind.

You give Kuroo an apologetic smile with a finger held up to indicate you'll be a moment and then turn back to offer the box you've been holding onto this whole time to your dear cousin. "I can't imagine why you'd feel that way, but I did get you this, too. You can't have it all though, it's also for Ren."

He reaches for the box when you pop it open and happily exclaims, "Mochi? Aw, I take it back, you're the best!" before proceeding to pop two in his mouth. Oh. Uh-oh.

Okay then, closing the box, you walk back over to Kuroo as Shin happily munches away behind you. "Sorry, yes, I appreciate the offer but as you can see, I have my hands full with-"

"Ahhh! OMG, my mouth is burning!!! What is this?" Is he crying? He's definitely chugging that 'horrible' drink. "I take it back that I took it back. You do hate me. And for what?! I'm sorry I tried to kidnap you, okay?! Ahhh! Make it stop-"

He keeps rambling, even while alternating between choking down the sour drink and pausing for quick panting breaths every now and then, as tears actually run down his face. Even the gamer boy is momentarily distracted watching. You can't help the satisfied smile that stretches across your face as you watch Shin dissolve into tortured agony from the corner of your eyes and finish your sentence "-a pretty troublesome commitment already."

Kuroo looks a little worried but definitely way more amused, "I thought that box was something really special, the way you held onto it the whole time."

"Yeah, even in exchange for my precious coffee-" You wipe away a pretend tear and swear he mutters 'so you are an addict' under his breath before you finish, "but it was worth the revenge, wouldn't you say?"

"Well... He tried to kidnap you?"

"Ugh, don't ask. It was a stupid prank that I briefly fell for. But I think he won't try getting me back for a while. At least a week of peace."

"So.. don't mess with you, is what I'm hearing."

You laugh at his accurate interpretation, "Pretty much. Or do, if you're a masochist."

He looks slightly awed and a whole lot intrigued when he states, "At first I thought you were some incredible angel.. but you're pretty much more an incredible devil, aren't you?

"Incredible, either way? I'll take it." You smirk, thinking of the irony he'll probably never understand.

"How about my request for a name?"

"Isn't it Kuroo Tetsuro?"

"I'm asking for your name, Kitten." He's a little exasperated and just a smidge embarrassed that you made him spell it out. I mean, you like that he's all witty and smooth but... you really like a guy's direct side, too.

You do still smile and tease a little more, "Kitten could work, given the irony..." He gives you an unamused look, but you were continuing anyway, "But since you asked so nicely.. I'm Y/-"

"Oi!" Ren is standing across the street with the car, door open, "I've been looking for you. It's time to go."

"Oh," You look back at Kuroo who's still looking at Ren a split second longer before focusing back on you, "I'm sorry, I have to go!" You smile at him apologetically then face Itsuki, slightly crouched, to give him a bright smile, "Bye Itsuki! Take care and don't wander off again!"

You don't have time to say anymore than those goodbyes to the pair of cousins before your own is dragging you away, cursing you out and swearing he'll get you back. He's listing a lot of pretty creative ideas, silly boy, you'll just use them before he can.

You check both sides of the road as he's pulling you across since it doesn't look like he's going to but you both make it safely to Ren who just gives the two of you a droll look. "You guys definitely didn't listen to me."

He didn't even pose it as a question. You just shrug and give him a kiss on the cheek before sliding into the back of the sleek car, followed by Shin and then Ren, who calls out to let the driver know to take you all home. Maybe you glance out the tinted windows to steal one last look at Kuroo before the car starts to move away. Maybe you see that he's looking too, he's staring at the car but his mouth is moving and when it stops, the gamer boy says something back.

The last thing you see before the car pulls away completely and you can't see anymore is Itsuki pulling Kuroo back towards the café and he takes one last look your way before heading inside with his friend following.

You turn back around, not realizing you'd shifted your whole body. Ren is looking at you oddly so you just raise an eyebrow at him, but smile when Shin happily exclaims, "Hey Ren, we got you some treats too!"

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Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Kuroo not only didn't get Y/n's name, but was pretty curious as to her close relationship with the two guys that we know as Shin and Ren

-If she had to measure, Y/n felt about the same level of attraction and connection with Kuroo as she did with Oikawa when she first bumped into him at the boba shop; he was interesting but still just a casual, fun encounter in the end

-Gamer boy was obviously Kenma, yeah?

-Is it funny for anyone else that Bokuto is liking or retweeting the posts about Y/n? Or is it just me because I clearly know too much?

-Itsuki is non-canon, if you weren't sure :(

A/N: I really like how this one turned out, I don't know why. It could have something to do with the fact that I've been a Kuroo simp the longest but I dunno, it just... flowed. And I barely even chewed over the edits.

Btw, if you guys ever see first-person POV (my, me, I, us, we) or 'Faye', it's probably a good time to restate that this started out as a purely self-indulgent imagining, which is why I write most seamlessly as myself in the scenarios. I then change it over to 'Y/n' and reader perspective during multiple levels of edits so you all can hopefully enjoy the story/scenarios too, but it can (and likely will) still slip through sometimes. Just let me know, and I'll fix it, thank you :) <3

Taglist: @delusivist

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acciocriativity · 3 years

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Tetrachromat II || Harry Potter

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Reader

Summary: How would Cedric react when he discovers your little superpower?

Word Count: 1,5k

N / A: Tetrachromatism or tetrachromacy comes from the mixture of two words of Greek origin,"tetra"means "four" and "Chroma" which means "color". A tetrachromat person has 4 cell cones, instead of 3, which is more common and this makes him sensitive to a wider color spectrum.

Part I

It was exactly two weeks ago that Cedric and I were going out, as I worked as a teacher and he was trying to follow his father’s steps at the Ministry, we agreed to meet on the weekends and in the meantime we exchanged several letters.

Today is a Friday and I was expecting the last father to pick up her daughter so I could lock the classroom and go home.

- Miss Wright, look at my drawing! It’s you! - The smiling girl got up from the plastic chair and came running excitedly to my table.

- It is beautiful my love, you will be an incredible artist in the future - I replied with a smile, giving a brief pat on the top of her tiny head before she waddled back to her place.

I took one last look at the stick pink woman before folding it carefully, but something caught my attention before I put the paper in my folder, it was as if my world had been filled with colors all at once.

- Cedric? - before I knew it, my legs guided me to the half-open door, where he had knocked a few seconds after I recognized his presence.

My mind passed through a whirlwind of thoughts but my mouth did not open once.

- I didn't think I was going to surprise you at that point - the sincere smile remained on his face - your father brought me, lucky me that he was home at this time - I could see a different gleam in his eyes when he looked at my dear student.

She was looking at us since the door opened, her curiosity would not allow her to miss a second of the scene that passed before her eyes.

- Is that your boyfriend, Miss Wright? He's more handsome than I expected - I felt the redness take over my cheeks and it didn't seem to matter to them.

- Cedric Diggory at your service, and what's your name, miss? - he said as he approached the round table where the little girl was still seated, and then he held out his hand towards her, leaning about her height.

- Marie - her little hand found his and her face was not far from mine, his charm could even conquer a stone and worst of all, he was aware of it.

- It is a pleasure to meet you Marie - he straightened his posture and walked slowly to the nearest wall, decorated with various drawings and activities that we had done during this year, analysing them carefully.

My agitation was gradually fading and again the silence reigned in the room for a few seconds, someone else was present with a knock on the door.

- Daddy! - the man’s face lit up when he saw that little ray of sunlight running to embrace him and for a few seconds I witnessed a kind of love that is not found anywhere.

- Hi my love - he picked her up with only one hand while the other was busy holding a black briefcase with no details - I'm sorry for the delay, Miss Wright, it won't happen twice.

- No problem Mrs. Jones, I understand that sometimes work is really complicated. Have a nice day and see you tomorrow Marie - I waved and the last thing I saw was her little hands waving back before the door was closed.

I noticed a movement behind me and then I remembered that I was not alone as usual, when I turned around I found Cedric sitting in my chair, dedicating his attention to the drawing in his hands.

- You forgot to mention that you worked with extremely adorable children - he didn't look up to speak to me, still focused on the paper.

- I am quite sure that I wrote this at some point, although most of the time it is the complete opposite. You were lucky today - I replied calmly approaching him with a small smile.

- Does this mean that I should come again ?? - his hands went around my waist and brought me closer to him, even though he was still sitting on the chair.

- Hmmm, considering that the whole class will end up knowing that anyway, why not? You didn't tell me you were good with children - I said as my fingers roamed through his locks.

- I didn't know it myself, it seems that it is a new talent discovered. You can make me your assistant any of these days - his expression was calm and satisfied, at a point I hadn't seen yet.

- I'm going to think of a way for the coordinator don't deny this idea, but for now, we have to go Ced - I spoke seriously but I didn't try to get out of that hug, which is one of the best hugs I ever had the chance to receive.

- Doesn't someone have to come clean before that? - His voice was muffled because his face was pressed against my belly while his arms remained firm around me.

- The class is spotless, so it's not necessary, but I'll only be able to move if you let me go… Cedric! - I laughed softly as soon as I saw his expression of disappointment but he soon let me go.

It was already around 4 o'clock, the sun was covered by clouds in the sky and a cool wind gently blew the leaves from the trees. I didn't realize that Cedric had stopped walking, as I was still enjoying the calm until I heard him.

- How did you know I was at the door? - I turned around with a frown, finally noticing the distance between us.

- What do you mean? - questioning was my first instinct but soon the realization passed through my face, so he had heard me.

- You guessed it was me at the door, how did you do that? You are not secretly a witch, are you? - his long steps soon reached where I was, his gaze never left my face.

- Well, I already thought about that possibility but unfortunately not. I was waiting for the moment to tell you that. It's a little difficult to explain ... - Ced remained silent but took my hand.

- I have a rather special feature, not the talent of guessing things, but I see the world in a different way - I took a deep breath before continuing - the colors work differently for people like me.

- And how is this related to the fact that you see through the walls? - the amusement in his voice made me smile.

- I saw your colors first, this is the hard part to explain but basically everything here has color around itself, including both of us - I was unsure of what to expect from him, considering that many people considered me a liar or a freak when I told them this fact about me.

- Really?? This is like a superpower! Why didn’t you mention it before? This sounds pretty cool - his face went through several emotions at the same time, but none close to what I expected.

- Well, not many people know about it, I didn't know what your reaction would be - without trying, I was smiling broadly.

- And what are my colors? It would be quite ironic if one of them is yellow - again his right arm found its way to my shoulders and we started walking again.

- I've never seen this before, but you're all of them Ced. It was the first thing that caught my attention about you - the surprise on your face was evident and he smirked.

- All of them? Well, that explains why you barely managed to take your eyes off me when we first met - and then I stopped walking.

- What?? Certainly not, I remember the exact opposite of that - I crossed my arms looking at him and he had the audacity to laugh

- It is so easy to provoke you, come on missy anger, we have a date to go to - he took my hand and guided me far away from there.

Later on, while we were eating, this topic returned and I confessed that people's negative reaction had made me extremely insecure and so, whenever possible, I tried to live like a normal person would.

- You will never be normal but the way you see the world makes you more beautiful in my eyes and in the eyes of those who care about you too. It can be difficult but let's focus on that - he told me with his usual sweet voice and loving eyes.

And in that moment, for the first time, I completely understood why he was a rainbow to me.

Harry Potter Masterlist

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #fred weasley #harry potter #imagine harry potter #george weasley #george weasley x reader #harry james potter imagine #draco malfoy x reader #cedric diggory #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory x you #cedric diggory fanfiction #hermione granger #sirius black #remus lupin #luna lovegood

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peachchanvidel · 2 years

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I posted 947 times in 2021

65 posts created (7%)

882 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.6 posts.

I added 263 tags in 2021

#linzin - 70 posts

#lin beifong - 53 posts

#tenzin - 33 posts

#kantoph - 26 posts

#legend of korra - 24 posts

#peachchanvidel's sketch - 16 posts

#lok - 12 posts

#linumi - 10 posts

#fanart - 10 posts

#lok fanart - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#how could she try for children if they could feel the same and know that their father could be disappointed in their abilities?!

My Top Posts in 2021

I'm extremely late with this one, but it's done. I could do more, but I want to work on the next piece and I'm exhausted.

Linzin week - Day 4

Stats:

Procreate: 41 hours - Actual time: About 50 hours

Filesize: 960 MB - After deleting the video: 20 MB x"D (I saved a 30 sec. version I can upload later)

90 notes • Posted 2021-09-16 22:52:23 GMT

A bunch of wips and doodles, let's see when and what I'll finish first. Most pictures are inspired by my fav Linzin fics ♡ experimenting a lot atm.

109 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 11:17:27 GMT

First day at work

So.. @mudbend and @stitch1830 wrote so much amazing Kantoph content... I got a little too inspired.

I'm not sure about Kanto's looks, but I'm kind of happy I still managed that drawing on a whim and in only 75 minutes despite my stupid artblock... AND after 1 a.m. :"D

Long story short: Kanto wants a picture of Lin's first day working at the RCPD.

120 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 00:09:15 GMT

126 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 12:28:01 GMT

A3 from the expression meme by @capochiino

162 notes • Posted 2021-04-08 12:54:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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emma-nation · 3 years

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Ticker Than Water - Bloodbound AU (Chapter 4)

Summary: When Amy changes the course of the events at the Opera House, she could never imagine the consequences she would have to face. After being by Rheya’s side for five years, she’s finally ready to be reunited with her friends and find a manner to defeat her. But when the time comes, what will prevail? Her love for Kamilah Sayeed and her friends or her family ties with the First Vampire?

Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance

Tag List: @slytherinthoughts7, @lightning-fury, @spacecarrousel, @gavryllo, @kamilah-the-bloodqueen, @whoinvitedalx, @sheyah, @imnotdonewiththeelementalists, @belvoiresqueenbee, @morvengarde, @tephy24, @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @scorpichoices, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @justejuste727, @evexofxtime, @zoe6111, @shanuuh, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @kenna-and-val-are-my-queens, @fal-carrington, @spookyjellyfishlove, @samgtt700, @just-thinking-loudly, @martachm, @masterofbluff, @rice-wifee, @lifeisadance96, @serafinedupontownsme, @hellyeah90sbaby

4 years ago - Japan

The first signs of Winter started showing on the city outside. Kamilah wondered what she'd be doing if she was still living in New York. Working, perhaps. And also planning the next Dark Solstice.

The necklace. She didn't have time to retrieve it from the secret drawer in her office when they ran away. It would be her only memory from something that didn't exist anymore - her relationship with Amy.

"I did it," the penthouse door opened in a slam, making Lily completely lose focus on her video game or Jax stop sharpening his katana. Adrian seemed to be in ecstasy. "I... I managed to grow a seedling from the sample we obtained from the Tree Of Death. This could stop Rheya for good."

"How great," Jax replied with some sarcasm. The last few months turned him into a version of his late master, Takeshi. "And what about the others? Also, how long is it going to take?"

The others. Kamilah's stomach flipped. Amy was one of them, along with Rheya's husband and daughter. And she was so strong as the First Vampire herself.

"It's a start, Jax," Lily added. "It'll be easier to take her down once she becomes a Feral."

"Fine, but I'd like to do the honors."

"Kamilah?" Adrian approached, touching her shoulder briefly. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes," Kamilah told. She was too invested in her own thoughts, reflecting about the part where she'd have to face Amy again. What if they had to kill her? Would she be able to do that? "We will wait. When the time comes, we'll fight again."

Lily suggested a celebration, Jax agreed and so did Adrian. Since their arrival, they barely left that penthouse. Except for the occasions where they attended Kano's training sessions. The psychic vampire taught them how to guard their minds from Rheya. And also Amy.

"You can go. I'll stay here."

"Come on, Kamilah," Lily started dragging her to the door. "You never say no to booze."

"I'm saying this time."

"Lily is right," Adrian said. "You are coming with us. It'll be a good distraction."

"Yeah," Jax agreed. "We must stick together. Remember?"

This manner, the three younger vampires managed to make Kamilah to go out for the first time in months. Still a little insecure about their safety, they decided to visit The Five's nightclub. In the end, it was not terrible. Jax and Akeyo engaged in a singing competition, while Lily attempted to copy The Evolved's robotic dance moves. The female vampire let out a small laugh.

"Finally," Aiko slowly approached her. "Acceptance is the last stage of grief."

"I guess so," Kamilah replied in a dry tone.

"She's not coming back. She made a choice."

"I know."

The reminder of that fact hit Kamilah's heart like applying salt in an open wound. One year had passed. Amy was still doing atrocities together with Rheya. She showed no signs of regret or mercy. Not even a trace of the old Amy still existed in her eyes. The powers had changed her completely.

"I need another shot," she ordered to the bartender. Then she looked at Aiko, who observed her with the same old and seductive smirk. "Two shots actually."

----------

A blow from one of the mythological creatures that surrounded Amy in the mindscape forest threw her hard against a tree. Though the fight was happening inside her mind, the pain felt extremely real, as if her skull had been fractured.

"Ouch..." she moaned in pain. "Can't... back... down..."

A fire blast started to form in the center of her palm. If she could maintain the focus, it should be enough to stop the creature that was about to strike again.

"Ha!" Amy released the fire ball, that disappeared mid-air. "Fuck!" She screamed, punching the floor repeatedly. Noticing her frustration, Kano pulled her back to reality.

"There's something wrong," he spoke in all his wisdom of a 500 years old man, in a 5 years old body.

"Not even when I'm mad - and trust me, I'm really mad - I can make this work."

"You won't be able to do this moved only by anger. You need focus and discipline."

"Kano," Amy squeezed the water bottle she held, "we've been training for hours. I can't conjure one decent blast. I'm focused, I'm doing all the meditation exercises you taught me... I just can't. Maybe she drained my powers while I slept."

"It's not that," Kano handed her another water bottle, that she drank all in one sip. "There's something blocking you from reaching your potential."

"What could it be?"

He forced her to face all the nastiest skeletons in her closet for a second time that day. Starting by the childhood trauma caused by her mother's behavior. Though Amy knew the reason behind her rage outbursts, the marks would always be there.

The child version of herself was drawing in the kitchen when her mother entered, completely disturbed.

"Mommy!" She called. "Look what I've made for you."

"Nice," the woman barely looked. She was too busy inspecting the cabinets for her painkillers. "Where are them?"

She swallowed a couple of pills and little Amy's heart filled with hope that her mother would finally be able to give her some attention and love.

"Can we play teacups now? I missed you. You spend the whole day in the bedroom."

"Can't you see it, Amy?" The woman yelled at the child. "I am sick! Why can you just respect me? Why can you just be quiet, huh?!"

As she slammed the bedroom door, the little sat down on the floor breaking into tears.

"What did I do wrong?" She asked herself.

"Nothing," adult Amy sighed at the scene. "You did nothing wrong."

Then they moved to the Opera House. What else could be there to be seen? Amy did both of her crucial decisions - the one where she decided to tempt the fate and avoid the death of one of her friends, becoming a monster in consequence. And the one where she took the dagger. That was the most painful to watch. She had already seen Lily dying in her arms, as Kamilah plunged a stake in her heart to prevent her from becoming a Feral. She also saw Jax, sacrificing himself to die as the warrior he was, not as a disgusting rotting creature.

This time though, it was Adrian who took the fall to save her life...

"Not her! Never her!"

"Adrian!" The past version of herself screamed, kneeling down on the floor near the male vampire. "W-Why did you do this? Y-You didn't have to..."

"Amy..." he clutched the injury in his abdomen. His skin was already acquiring a grey coloration. "I had to. I was the one to bring you to this world in first place. I swore to protect you."

"But..."

"Shhhh, it's okay. I've had a long and accomplished life. I made a lot of mistakes too and somehow I think this how I must pay for them. I... I'm ready to be reunited with Eleanor and Charles."

She glanced at the rest of the group. Lily was sobbing uncontrollably. Jax punched the wall in anger and denial. Kamilah was also kneeled by Adrian's side. She was trying hard to prevent the tears from falling.

"And Amy?" Adrian said, before handing her a stake. "Take care of Kamilah. She needs you."

"No!" Both versions of herself screamed at the same time, as Adrian forced her hand to stake his heart. She collapsed to the floor before they moved to the next memory.

She and Rheya were terrorizing some citizens in New York City. Those who still refused to bend to their orders and obey their every command.

"I condemn you to be my prisoners," Rheya smiled deviously, staring at the small group of people restrained inside a TV station. They secretly planned to leak information about the Apostolous family to other states, including their ability of controlling and manipulating minds. "You can be my servants after all. You could entertain me, feed me... or even fight for me."

Amy emerged from a door in the back. Her hair was a mess and she had bags under her eyes. She was in a terrible mood, what lead her to slowly approach and start to snap the neck of each one of the victims. One by one.

"Foolish creature! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rheya asked, visibly annoyed. "I wasn't going to kill them yet, they could be useful to my purposes."

"Getting things done faster," Amy told. "I'm starving, I'm tired. I can't wait to get home and feed."

"Of course, you spent the whole night out with Serafine, going to clubs and using your psychic powers for recreational purposes. I told you I needed you in shape this morning. You disappoint me."

"I'm sorry, Rheya. You were going to kill them anyways. They're all useless insects, isn't it what you always say?"

"You're right," the First Vampire approached and touched her chest using her indicator finger. "But I give the orders here. We may have the same blood, the same powers powers but I'm in charge. Do you understand?"

Amy was back to the same mindscape as earlier, surrounded by creatures in a forest. She felt angry at herself, yet she accepted it. She embraced the fact she was weak to resist the darkness inside her. It was part of who she had became. And now she wanted to change and make things right.

"I can do this," she closed her eyes, focusing on conjuring a psychic wave strong enough to push the horde of monsters away from her. When she opened them, ready to hit them... nothing happened.

"What?!" She yelled, back at Kano's office. "This time I did it. I faced the Opera memory and how things should have went. I embraced the fact I did horrible things too."

"There must be something else. Something you're refusing to face and let go."

Amy had no idea what it could be. At Kano's suggestion, they ended the training session for the day and she went back to the hotel to rest and reflect on what could be blocking her powers. After a long bath, she stared at the bed. The same bed she and Kamilah shared an intimate moment in the previous night, before she told her about her engagement with Aiko.

She finally turned on her phone. Iola had been trying to reach her all day.

"You need to return home, immediately. She has lost her mind."

"What is it this time?" Amy asked, getting dressed to meet Lily at the penthouse she lived with the rest of the group.

"She wants to-"

"Amy?!" Rheya seemed to have taken the phone from her daughter's hands. "I wanted to speak to you, darling. Are you finished with The Five yet? I need you to come home."

"Why?"

"I've signed a contract with a TV channel. Next week they'll begin to film our own reality show: 'The Apostolous'. Isn't it wonderful?"

No. It wasn't. Together with her insane ancestor and her family, Amy would be locked in the mansion with Priya, Serafine and Dracula, while every detail their daily routine was registered by the cameras and shown on television to the whole world.

"Rheya..." Amy sighed, thinking of some excuse. "Why don't you wait a few more days? I mean, a party with your new allies would be a great start for the reality show. Wouldn't it?"

"You're right," the First Vampire answered after a pause. "I don't know when you've gotten so smart, but you're having some good ideas lately. Anyways, I must start planning our party then. Talk to you later, darling."

Only a lot of alcohol could make Amy relax with all the latest news. When she arrived, Lily was still the only one in the penthouse. Jax, Adrian and Kamilah were doing some personal businesses.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Amy asked, taking a sip directly from the bottle of sake before aiming her next shot at the pool game.

"I was going to," Lily told, observing as she sank three balls in a row. "I couldn't imagine Kamilah would go straight to your bed in the very first night."

As Lily finished her own turn, Amy noticed she was about to win the game. However, she would never be able to make the right move with that one question bothering her mind.

"Does she love her? Aiko?"

"Do you want the honest truth? No, she doesn't. She only got in that sudden relationship with her to forget you. And if you ask me, I bet Aiko is forcing her to get married."

A hint of a smile appeared on the corners of Amy's mouth. She still had a chance. With the right shot, she could win Kamilah's heart back.

"I win," she grinned as she cued the last ball into the pocket.

"Best of three?" Lily asked, after taking a sip of the sake. "So, now tell me about Rheya going all Kardashian."

Amy rolled her eyes in annoyance. She was about to start talking about Rheya's reality show when the penthouse's door opened, making her heart speed up inside her chest.

"Oh," for her disappointment, it wasn't Kamilah. "Hey, Jax."

"Hello, Lily and..." he glared in her direction, clearly uncomfortable with her presence. "You."

"Jax, come here," Lily called, assuming some alcohol and games would be able to seal the peace between them. "Amy was about to tell me about Rheya's latest bullshit."

"Later, Lil. I gotta... I gotta take a shower. I was training with Akeyo all day."

As soon as he left to the bedroom, Amy sighed:

"He'll never forgive me."

Kamilah arrived right after she finished her sentence. She didn't say a word, she walked directly to the bar, serving herself some expensive whiskey.

"We're not allowed to bring visitors," she scolded Lily. "After five years you should know that."

"I asked Adrian first," Amy told in her defense. "He said I could..."

"Oh, Amy. Congratulations on your new show. It's all over the internet. You must be loving the attention, aren't you?"

"Thank you. By the way, for someone who doesn't care care you're way too updated about my life."

There was a heavy tension between them. Years of unresolved feelings and unsaid words were affecting the whole environment surrounding them, like an earthquake.

"I-I..." Noticing that, Lily started walking away too. "You two must have a lot to talk about. I'll be in my bedroom."

Amy still tried to prevent Lily from leaving, but it was useless. She was alone and under Kamilah's hard cold gaze.

"You shouldn't be here," the female vampire said once again.

"Why?" Amy decided to confront her. "My presence is bothering you?"

"Not really, but it put us at risk. She could come here any second searching for her spawn."

"She won't. Besides, I can fight her."

"Oh really? How's the training going by the way?"

"Good," Amy lied. "I'm... I'm finding myself. Finding a balance between my powers and the darkness they can bring."

As if she still could read her, Kamilah raised an eyebrow and opened a small sadistic smile. Was it so obvious she was failing miserably? Did Kano tell the others how poorly the training session had gone? She swallowed dry.

"About yesterday..." Amy opened her mouth to speak, changing the subject. She had to know how Kamilah felt about the other night.

"Nothing happened yesterday," Kamilah nodded.

Before she could speak again, Adrian emerged from the elevator.

"Amy, good to see you here," he wanted to show her something in a secret Raines Corporation HQ he had built. "Come with me."

She gave Kamilah one last look. It wasn't over. She wasn't going to give up and pretend nothing happened between them. She wasn't going to act like the feelings weren't still there, alive and strong as ever.

"What?" Adrian asked with a smile during their way to the building.

"Nothing," Amy smiled back. She had never been so happy to see him. That vision had struck her really hard. "I'm just glad you still trust me."

The building was highly secured. Adrian guided her to the laboratory in the basement. Some scientists were still working late night, on many different projects.

"Only a few people know about our secret weapon," Adrian told while he typed a password on a keypad, opening a heavy metal door. "Only us and The Five. After all, anyone else could have their minds accessed by Rheya."

After walking through a long corridor, they stopped in front of a glass. Behind it, Amy spotted a small growing tree.

"Is it..."

"The Tree Of Death. I managed to obtain a sample and grow a seedling from it. It's still small and young, its sap is not so poisonous. It won't cause much harm yet."

After Demetrius was brought back to life, the Tree Of Death and the island ceased to exist. With that, there was nothing that could stop Rheya. Until now.

"Adrian..." Amy remembered testing her powers, or when Rheya used to grow different plants and flowers in the backyard, according to the occasions. "I can make it grow faster with my powers."

#bloodbound #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #rheya apostolous #bloodbound fanfiction #playchoices #choices stories you play #thicker than water

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years

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I'm not going to review the season finale in quite the same way as I've usually written something afterwards. I'm ultra tired due to distinct lack of sleep. So it is more truncated than I'd intended. Also unedited so advance apologies if something makes no sense or is misspelled etc.

The episode was facing the challenge of not only being edited after COVID-19 shut down production, but what was intended to be the penultimate episode became the finale. So I'm trying to take that into consideration.

First part in Kara's loft. It was choppy. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing against the humour, or the scenes in general. Although they missed the glaring opportunity to place a "flew here on a bus," moment! It felt pretty disappointing they didn't recognise what has become an iconic line within the SG fandom, and made it even more iconic.

Before the bus though, back at the loft, considering that Lena had literally only just arrived at Kara's, with all that entails, it felt completely out of place for that context. Did it have been overwhelming heavy at that point? Absolutely not. But it was too close to slapstick at times for me and internally I was cringing. I admit, I'm not sure where they could've put it in, but perhaps if they'd just lowered it a fraction, made it a little more subtle a couple of times, it would've helped for me.

Some of the dialogue (especially early on) was also all over the place for me. It did get better as the episode wore on, but I wonder how much was the need to redo parts of the episode because of COVID-19? Unless they think to put an episode as intended in a future season DVD (perhaps S6 DVD), or someone gives us full details via an interview we will probably never know.

Which brought me to one piece of dialogue that I wish they'd not put in at all!

In 5.18, as I've spoken about a lot on Twitter especially, the way Lex screams into Lena's face, and Lena's flinch, and how that had been me 20 odd years ago. They then had the line as Lena talks to Kara; "Go ahead. Scream at me if you have to, I know I deserve it."

I know for many, they'd just see it as a line to use, but .... for many of us who have suffered abuse, who recognised (& in some instances were triggered) by last weeks episode, to not have acknowledged why that line was so problematic is worrying. It heavily suggests they're not going to address Lena's trauma and abuse because they really don't understand it (& again, if anyone believes she didn't suffer trauma and abuse, but accept others in SG do, go away with your bias from my page), but considering they haven't addressed much of Kara's trauma, particularly watching Argo destroyed again, being stuck for months during Crisis like they were, etc - then I guess it isn't a surprise.

But it is uncomfortable as hell to watch a line like that glossed over.

Overall though, I did enjoy the episode. Once that 1st half was over, especially (baring a few moments, including watching Alex do her badass Mission Impossible meet Cirque du Soleil moment because that was awesome) it felt much more like SG of previous seasons. So that was great.

Watching Lena as she watched Alex and Kara hug behind her was so emotional. Watching siblings love unconditionally. Something she thought she had with Lex, only to realise he hadn't changed at all. Lena didn't need to say anything, as once again Katie's acting brought all the emotion Lena was feeling to the fore.

Having Lena and Alex mirror they choice of words in regards Kara was pretty iconic. Then having Alex whisper, "Jinx." really made it work.

Seeing Dreamer in her element, including some great lines again. "I can't believe you left to fight Earth, Wind & Fire without us." "Guess they didn't take the bait? Maybe you should've been meaner?" As they begin the fight with J'onn, M'gann Alex and Dreamer - Alex to Dreamer: "You ready?" Dreamer. "Nope." Alex. "Me neither." Dreamer at her best imo.

Kelly going all, damn my girlfriend is hot & I want sex right now despite the circumstances was pretty cute and funny.

The Kara and Lena monologues being in unison. Now that was pretty amazing and one of the best parts of the whole episode imo.. But again, you feel as if they're matching Lena and Kara together with those scenes as a couple.

Lena not only protecting Kara, but stopped Andrea from going down a dark path as Acrata. Was also great.

Last frame of Lillian. Does it turn out she is the head of Leviathan? Because again they laid out more than once the leader was a woman. It has been noted several times now in different episodes. I was hoping Lena's biological mother, considering she knew of the legend of Acrata, but it is now looking more likely this reincarnation of Lillian is who it is, unless it is a character we've not been introduced to, but I highly doubt that.

The 2nd half of the episode was what we missed so much this season. In fact aspects throughout the episode were missing for too much this season.

This includes the women being the focal point of it. Brainy though absolutely rightly taking a strong subplot to what else was going on. J'onn ably supported by M'gann. M'gann who managed to advise Nia on embracing her dreams and not trying to avoid part of them. Dansen actually working together and both being badass in their own way (after all, this is something I've advocated for much of the season, & while fantastic to see, it never should've taken this long. Now where have we heard that before?)

But we still have glaring unanswered questions that I can't imagine would've been answered in 5.20.

Every indication since 5.17 is Kelly knows Kara is Supergirl. Yet we don't know for certain, because they've failed to show us how or when. I've said before, considering every other person who knows Kara is Supergirl, we had them tripping over themselves to explain to the audience how it happened. I'm pretty annoyed that we as the audience don't get given the same courtesy with Kelly. This is why so many of us feel short changed on some characters this season. The really aggravating thing is would only take a few lines to clear it up!

Now onto Alex. This ties in with J'onn. Where are they getting the money to survive? Did J'onn manage to accumulate enough over all the years he was on Earth to finance everything & pay Alex a wage? No clue.

Also, are Kelly & Alex living together? Or do they have keys to each others apartments? Yes, Kelly was at Alex's in 5.17 so the answer is pretty much yes, but nothing has been said! We knew more about Brainy & Nia's living arrangements from 5a than we do Kelly & Alex.

Kara's trauma. Lena's abuse & trauma. See above.

Lastly, the one most I know want (except a few vocally against), leaning towards Supercorp becoming canon. Again for another season, we end up with the, 'Maybe they'll do it next season.' being said. Particularly as in 5a they really went all out on Supercorp parallels to Clois and at times Dansen, plus even a little on Brainia. But unless something pretty fundamental changes behind the scenes, they're going to recognise what their biggest draw is, keep baiting but never fully go into it. And that is what I fear the most. When you've got media, even non-Supergirl fans saying it, but the show refusing to acknowledge it - that could be their legacy, and it will not look good or have a lot of fans look back kindly on them for it.

The 4 seasons it took for Lena to find out Kara was Supergirl was, in the end, terribly executed. This waxing and waning as well of; is Lena good or bad? Will she follow in the Luthor footsteps?

She is flawed. She's made some pretty awful mistakes. But now they're said she is good. She isn't evil or a villain. So now that line they've drawn needs to stay there! No more ambiguity on her character being a villain.

But you know what's not good? Feeling you can't trust the show to draw a line under that aspect of the character. That doesn't mean you have to have any one of them not be flawed, or to even cross some lines (they've all done it at some point, some moreso than others, but not one character is innocent).

When the show is now generating that level of mistrust on how they could handle future events, that is a problem.

Season 5 overall (particularly 5b) was absolutely horrendously bad. It had some moments of sheer brilliance (either individual scenes, or some episodes), but the rest was just flat out awful. Irrelevant. Messy. No cohesion. 5b became too much of the Lex Luthor show. Certain character additions were vastly unpopular and definitely caused down turns in viewer numbers (& again, from far more than a section of fandom). As did keeping Lena away from everyone for so long.

To sum up. Season 5 was a disaster.

Season 6 needs to have considerably different direction to even try & pull back some viewers (if they can at all). Distrust is rife.

The worst is no-one in the cast deserved this, especially as they're so talented. Some of the performances, even with how poor much of the season was, have been magnificent. But as the saying goes, you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

I've never been so relieved a season is finally over. We'll watch our favourite episodes for sure, of which there aren't many, but a full rewatch of the season we normally do will not be happening. Some episodes were better off consigned to the trash.

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pbandjesse · 3 years

Text

I'm trying to practice typing on my tablet again. So far is still a struggle. But I want to be better.

Today wasn't a bad day at all. I'm just feeling exhausted and a little embarrassed that I didn't film any art today. I did make art. I just didn't film it, I'm trying not to be to hard on myself. It will be okay. I just hate feeling disappointed in myself.

I slept alright. But getting up was hard. I decided that I was going to talk to my managers about pushing my hours back to where they were at my last site. Because the mornings are giving me a ton of anxiety and I can't get anything substantial done in my studios in the morning, and then I'm to tired at night. And its just become a shitty cycle that I want to break sooner rather then later.

But I still tried to accomplish something this morning, I gotnuo and ojust out on leggings and a sweater and had breakfast with James in the living room. I felt like crap. But it was still early. And I wanted to will myself into feeling better.

I drew a ring. Perspective was very tough, but what else is new. I enjoyed this one a lot though and I felt very accomplished. But then it was almost 10 and my anxiety started to kick in. I tried to keep it off. But soon enough I was packing up art stuff and putting on my work clothes. I tried really hard to leave a little later, not arrive wildly early, so I laid on the couch for a few minutes, but I still got there at 1045.

But that was alright. I took my stuff upstairs. Washed my hands. Clocked in on time. It had been drizzling a little when I got to the site so I was a little damp. But that was okay.

For the most part today was a very nice day. I had lots of art set out and ready for the kids to explore with. Inbrought the prints of the stone man to draw on. Some beads to make bracelets with. Some water colors. It was fun.

My big plan of the day was to get everyone's class schedules. Which was a whole thing but I got almost everyone's except one. So I reached out to a parent to hopefully find that. It is super frustrating having to learn 8 different schools systems for online learning but we're doing our best to make this work.

I spent a lot of the day just making art and chilling and trying not to be stressed. One of the kids kept hitting his sibling which was very hard to deal with. But once Travis got there and we had a stronger voice in the class it made a difference.

We did have some gym time. And I mostly sat on the bench with the only girl still there today. Wew had some fun chats about YA novels we like and about dragons and drawing and it was nice.

Travis then got hit in the bits with a basketball so we called it a day and went upstairs.

The plan had been to watch a movie but then thr entire buildings internet went out. So the last hour and a half really drug on. But the kids played board games for some of it. Just hung out. I did a little crochet, ended up taking it apart but it was good practice. And then it was decided we would go down to the gym to run out some energy while we waited for the last 4 siblings to get picked up.

I was very glad to be done for the day. I had not brought enough snacks and inwas starving. James was home making us cookies and I was just really excited to see my partner and also eat cookies.

I had my quick walk home and felt a little lightheaded. But I got inside safe. I was so happy to see my partner who I love so much. They made me a grilled cheese and it was just really nice to be home.

But I was so tired. And I felt like I couldn't do anything. I had gotten a gift from a parent at thr site, a gift card for $25, (they got one for all of the teachers ?? So kind??) so I was just spending time looking for a plush. Guilt free. I got a duckies wearing a sweater and glasses. And then I played animal crossing for a little. And James started building the train puzzle I got for him for valentine's day.

I watched them do that for a bit. And then I took a shower. And now we are in bed. Reading about a book series I vaguely remembered reading as a kid, and I'm excited that we were able to find it again, hopefully I can read it again.

Now though I would just like to sleep. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day and we can all feel better, even if it's March.

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

Text

For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @jamies-kpop-reactions

Chapter 15: Our Story

The mere seconds that Mom spent staring at me and Taemin, slackjawed in the doorway, might as well have lasted forever.

I think we wouldn't have looked half as guilty if we hadn't flinched lightyears apart from each other at her gasp, but it was our instinct to run and hide. As it turns out, we didn't melt or fade in the light of discovery, but we certainly did burn.

"Oops!" Mom almost giggled as she tiptoed back into the hallway and closed the door with a soft click. Like she had done something wrong, she apologized. "I'm sorry! Lei, I just came to tell you that dinner is ready. Come down whenever you get hungry!"

Before I could speak even in a timid squeak of a voice, I heard Mom's footsteps retreat down the stairs. Because tense silence had fallen over my room, I heard Donghae ask, "Where's Lei? Is she okay?"

And I heard Heechul say, "She's not curled up in bed with her radio crying her eyes out to SHINee again, is she? I thought we were past that phase!"

I went red in the face because I had certainly grown a bit past that phase, but only because I had Taemin— the real-life person— to curl up with. Thinking only that Taemin was a million times more comforting than any CD had ever been-- and that's really saying something since you know well that music was my best friend before Lucas— I glanced at him.

From the foot of the bed where he had tucked himself into a humiliated ball, Taemin sprang to his feet and started pacing around in the dark.

"Oh my God," he wheezed, nearly tripping over his shoes. "She caught us. Your mother— my manager— caught me in your room. She caught us kissing. She caught us kissing in your room. She caught me kissing you on your bed in your room. She caught me whispering into your mouth that I love you on your bed in the dark in your room."

I had been flustered before Taemin became a human embodiment of anxiety. A fact about me: I strive for balance in almost every situation. If somebody (take Lucas for example) is bouncing off the walls, I will sit perfectly still. If somebody is frowning, I am trying to make them smile, even if it's the briefest, dimmest sort of smile. If somebody (like Taemin was that night) is in a panic, I am level-headed.

So when Taemin tugged at his hair, whining, "She's going to kill me. And if she doesn't kill me, she'll make me break up with you, and then that's gonna kill me. Shit, shit, shit."

"She is not going to kill you," I said confidently because I knew Mom like the back of my hand. Granted, I didn't know every detail of her life before me, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't angry. Mom never apologizes when she isn't sorry. She never apologizes when she's mad.

I was kind of joking when I said, "If she wanted to kill you, she would have sent Heechul and Donghae flying up the stairs, and—”

"Shit!" Taemin hissed. Profanities didn't suit him. "Super Junior is going to kill me!"

Slightly wavering in confidence, I assured him, "No, they're not. Mom isn't going to say anything to Super Junior."

Besides, I rationalized to myself, Yesung, who would have posed the biggest threat to Taemin's life, already knew that we were together. If Yesung didn't kill Taemin at the Christmas party, I figured that we were in the clear.

If Taemin hadn't been pacing so quickly, I might have tried to catch him in my arms to kiss his worries away as he had done for me. Given that kissing had led to this tension, though, he might not have appreciated the affection. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't try to kiss him.

Taemin collapsed onto the edge of the bed and buried his face into his hands. When moments passed in silence, I took the chance to say, "She won't make us break up either, Taem. She just-- she was probably just shocked because she didn't know you were here. On top of that, she has always thought that Lucas and I are a thing, so—”

Into his palms, Taemin groaned, "She probably thinks you're cheating on Lucas with me or something! That makes everything a billion times worse!"

"It's more likely that she just realized that Lucas and I were never together. I mean, I've told her often enough that the message was bound to sink in sooner or later." After pulling Taemin's hands away from his face, I laced our fingers together. I gave both hands a gentle squeeze. "I get that this isn't how we wanted Mom to find out about us, but she had to find out somehow."

To tell you the truth, I was relieved that she found out in this private aspect of life and not through a tabloid expose.

"I know that you wanted to keep this-- us-- a secret so we could be roommates on tour, but we couldn't hide in the dark forever."

And to tell you the truth, I didn't want to. I wasn't eager to pen some press release or anything, but I think I was outgrowing that compulsion, that dependence on secrecy and shadows; they didn't comfort me anymore.

From everything that happened over those past few months, I learned that secrets are damning. At least in my own home, I wanted to live openly and honestly. Maybe Mom's unexpected discovery made that possible.

Stunned by my lack of humiliation, slackjawed because, for the first time, Taemin was embarrassed while I was not, I realized out loud, "I think— I think I'm glad that she found out." Drawing a deep breath, the kind that makes you realize that you've been holding your breath for far too long, I admitted, "I think— I think I've wanted her to know for a long time. Maybe forever."

Silence ensued as Taemin breathed heavily. Deeply. Inhale, count to ten. Exhale, count to ten.

My mouth opened, probably to explain that I nearly told Mom all about us on the drive to Grandma's house on my debut anniversary, but Taemin's stare took my voice away. He blinked at me. The spark in his eyes made me think that he wanted to smile at me. In hindsight, I guess he didn't. Taemin always smiled whenever he wanted to smile, and he didn't offer me the smallest grin for the rest of the night.

"I have to go," he breathed before stepping into his shoes.

That deep breath I had just drawn passed through my lips all at once. I said the wrong thing. There is nothing worse than when the truth— the full and absolute truth that rings in the deepest part of your heart— is the wrong thing to say. How can anyone regret telling the truth? How can anybody want to snatch the truth out of the air once it has been released?

"O-okay."

My stutter did not pass unnoticed despite my efforts to hide it with a smile. Taemin sat back by my side, took my face into his warm hands, and pecked at my lips. The kiss was over before I even realized it was happening.

"I love you, baby," Taemin promised. I swooned less at the affirmation of what I already knew and more at the variation of his name for me. He tucked some hair behind my ear. "Go down to dinner, and I'll talk to you later."

Rising to my feet in time with him, I said, "I love you too. Forever, Taemin."

Because I didn't want to watch him scramble out of the window, because I was at great risk of begging him to stay for dinner with Mom and Donghae and Heechul and Lucas— my family— to once and for all drag our remaining secrets into the light, I walked away. From the vanity, I grabbed the old photograph that I had yet to return to Donghae. I don't think I closed the door behind me on my way out of the room.

I tiptoed down the stairs, quietly hoping that Taemin would follow. Or maybe I was hoping that I would return from dinner to find him waiting on my bed with open arms. In the end, I was disappointed, but I didn't feel like a fool for daring to hope.

. . .

It turned out that Lucas's description of the rivalry between Donghae and Heechul was not all that dramatized.

Sandwiched between the two men at the dining room table, Mom looked nothing like the fairytale queen I imagined she would become in her happy ending. The squabbling must have gotten under her skin, etched those lines into her forehead, weighed down on the corners of her lips, and sharpened the glare she hurled at Heechul for a (probably offensive) comment that I hadn't heard over my thoughts as I reached the foot of the stairs.

"Lei!" Lucas cheered, pumping two fists into the air, because he was no longer alone with the adults. "Where've ya been?"

I couldn't narrow or roll my eyes at Lucas. He had no way to know that I had been kissing Taemin all day. He didn't have any clue that Mom just walked in on the most intimate moment of my life.

Blushing slightly under everybody's stare— smiling only because Moms smiled first and reminded me that everything was okay— I hummed, "I was just counting the stars."

As I sat in the seat next to Lucas and across from Donghae, I sat the picture frame onto the table. I met Donghae's gentle gaze and nodded. "I believe this belongs to you."

"I believe it does!" Donghae beamed and took the photograph into his hands. "Is this a new frame?" He asked as his thumb traced along the infinity symbol.

"Yep!" I omitted the fact that I had broken the original frame on that night I peeled his poster off the wall. "I— I hope you like it." I would have bashfully dropped my gaze onto the table if Donghae were the kind of person anyone could look away from. He looks right through the soul, you know, and I was finally comfortable with that.

While he untied one of the white threads around his wrist, Donghae swore, "I love it, Lei!" He motioned for me to hold out my wrist.

I watched, smiling, as Donghae knotted the infinity bracelet for me. All I could think about was my ribbon around Taemin's wrist. All I could think was that Donghae's thread bracelet was a ribbon too. We were tied together. Soulmates. Forever.

Then, my eyes were drawn to his red thread ribbon. Mom wore-- wears— one identical to that. They were tied together too. Soulmates. Forever.

So don't fault me for disagreeing with Taemin's belief that everything was falling apart with Mom's discovery of our kiss. It was clear for anybody to see (if they knew where to look) that happiness wasn't contingent upon the idea that everything will be okay. Everything was okay. Everything is okay. Happiness had arrived.

Except it wasn't happiness. The warmth spreading through my chest and painting life-- which had gone from dull shades of gray to pale hues with Lucas to sporadic brilliant bursts of color in the night with Taemin— was named joy. I read once that joy is forever, and I believed it then, and I believe it still. So, for the first time in a long time, as I looked at Donghae and Donghae looked back at me, I was not afraid for the sun to rise. I was not anxious because the sun had risen.

"It's not fair!" Heechul shrieked, pounding his fists on the table. "I practically live here, and the girl still favors Donghae!" Staring at me so intently that I thought his eyes might pop out of his head, Heechul demanded, "How come we never exchange gifts at the table, huh? I've been crashing on that couch for however many years, and you've never given me so much as a high-five!"

I raised my hands in total sincere surrender. "Look, I'm not picking favorites. I love you both. And if you start getting annoying and demanding me to pick favorites-- well-- let's not get into this again."

Donghae pouted into his glass of water. "You mean Yesung is still your favorite?"

And Heechul groaned at the ceiling, "Why am I not surprised?"

And Lucas chirped, "You gotta love Lei's unfailing loyalty!"

As I started forking through my dinner-- a salad because a.) my mouth was entirely too sensitive to the spicy noodles everyone else could slurp without watering in the eyes, and b.) I was trying yet another diet-- Mom caught my eye. She was watching me, smiling knowingly, determined to see me blush.

Uninterested in attracting any of the boys' attention, I subtly raised my eyebrows, trusting that Mom wouldn't say anything to expose my intimate information.

"You're not busy tomorrow are you?" I swear, she winked at me and I almost choked. "I was hoping that you could meet with me tomorrow. Nothing too serious, just a quick check-in on that project you've been working on."

Obviously, there was no project. Mom was just trying to tease me a bit and ensure that I made time to tell her about the events that led to the kiss that took our breath away.

Donghae and Heechul didn't know any of that, though, and they started pestering me about the project— "Is it a new song?" Heechul asked, and Donghae guessed, "Is the agency letting you write a ballad?"— while Lucas watched me through eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Would you two hush?" Mom hissed at Donghae and Heechul. "Just let Lei keep her secrets for now!"

Mom and I laughed together and the others looked at us like we were crazy. That's okay, though. I didn't mind their stares. I was too happy that Mom saw me; I was too happy that there would be no more secrets between us come tomorrow morning. If I had it my way, I decided, there would never be another secret between us for the rest of our lives.

"I always have time for you," I told her through a grin. "Just name the hour, and I'll drop everything for you."

I had until 9 o'clock in the morning to decide what I wanted to tell Mom. Once I walked into my bedroom, I flipped on the overhead light, nabbed an empty moleskine notebook from the bookshelf, and sat at the desk I hadn't used since the long past poetry-writing days. Having grown significantly since then, I had to pull that little lever that lowers the rolling office chair.

Several of the pens that I dug out of the top drawer had gone dry, but I finally found one-- a dark almost-black blue-- that worked. I used it to map out the constellations, everything that happened before the kiss. Debuting with SuperM, giving Taemin my ribbon, the first game of Truth or Dare, crying that night in the garden, falling asleep with Taemin every night in America, the NCT Dream VLive incident, the Great Come Apart in Grandma's dining room, the roller coaster that was the Christmas party, visiting the wishing fountain where Baekhyun gave me a flower crown, kissing Taemin throughout New Year's Night and into New Year's Day.

I poured all of myself into that story, this story. On these pages, you can find me: my fears, my dreams, my hopes. I hope you love me as much as I love you. I know you do, Mom. I know you do.

By the time I lay me down to sleep, it is 4 O'Clock in the morning. Now, I wait for the sun to rise so I can share everything.

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sand-rose · 4 years

Text

This is super late, but I finally got around to thinking about my answers to Magia Rapport. Between life in general and the announcement of the EN server closing I just didn't feel like doing it before. But I did want to participate so better late than never, I guess!

Day 1: If you could give advice to a new player, what would that advice be? If you could restart the game from the beginning, what would you do differently this time?

Oh boy, does that question hit different now. Well... For a new player, I would say save your gems as much as possible for the fate weaves you really want to pull for. Try to decide what girls you really want, and how many slots you want to try to get for them. I was maybe 80% f2p. I managed to get quite a few limited girls I wanted by saving up, and even though most of them only have one slot that was perfectly fine with me because I just really liked the character. As for restarting the game, I am restarting on JP, and this time I decided I'm going to go my own pace. I'll still play every day to get those bonuses and dailies done, but I'm not too worried about catching up to where JP is in the story or farming for materials. I'll probably only do the story portions of events, and I'm going to try to cut my playing time compared to how long I play the EN version every day. I want to get back to doing other things, and even if I haven't felt like writing or drawing lately because of personal reasons, the game's become a larger part of my daily routine than I intended it to be.

Day 2: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

The Tart Magica events will always be my favorites because I just really love the spinoff series. The fact that I got to see the characters animated and hear them speak just makes me smile. I also really liked the map layout for those events.

Day 3: What is your proudest achievement in the game? Is it a character you got from a fate weave? Is it a moment you defeated a really difficult event? Did you get a high ranking in mirrors?

My proudest achievement would be managing to get all the Tart Magica characters. I didn't get Tart or Riz their first run and was so disappointed. So I made sure to save up just for a rerun of their banners and when it came back around I got Tart, and I did have to spend a bit IRL money for Riz but it wasn't too much and I felt it was worth it. Another moment would be when I made S class in ranked mirrors 2nd and 3rd rounds. I was having awful luck this last time especially but thanks to @muffinrecord 's advice I managed to make it!

Day 4: What is your favorite memoria in the game and why? Is it because it's unexpectedly good? Do you like the artwork? Is it the flavor text that stands out to you?

My favorite memoria would be I Made Friends!. Not only is it such a good passive memoria with great effects but I just really like the art too. I always liked seeing Kako, Felicia, and Ayame's interactions in the story and events because these girls have been through so much in their lives, before and after becoming Magical Girls, and it's nice to see them just being kids and playing together. Two close seconds are Hopes Combined and Our Backs Together. They're my two favorite groups of characters and the flavor text really speaks of their bonds and how strong they are together. And the artwork is just cool!

Day 5: What character do you identify with the most? Why is that? Do you have a favorite quote or moment from them?

There's a few characters that really remind me of myself. I have social anxiety like Seika, though it's not nearly as severe. I mostly keep to myself and a few close people like Konoha did. I have a hard time expressing myself to others like Ren. And Tsuruno... When we learned everything she was dealing with and how she tried her best to keep smiling and taking care of everyone else's problems, that definitely struck a chord with me.

Day 6: What character has your favorite wish? Do you think it's the best wish or is it something close to what you would wish for if you could?

I had to think about this one, but in the end I think Mitama's wish is my favorite. It's just very interesting to me. We know growing up in Daito Ward is... not that great. The class difference is bad enough, and I relate to her on that level from growing up in a similar situation. Then to get that chance to have a brighter future, better education taken from you due to circumstances out of your control (in my case money, in hers rumors leading to a ruined reputation)... Of course she would be devastated. Furious, even. In her eyes, Kamihama took her future away from her, so why not wish to take Kamihama's future away in retaliation? Her wish to have the power to destroy Kamihama is a powerful one, and she harbored it since making the contract, hiding her true thoughts from everyone and playing neutral as Coordinator. But the thing is when she made this wish, it WAS granted, though not in the way she thought. When the time came for her to choose a side between the Kamihama Magical Girls and the Magius, she very easily could have chosen to side with the Magius. If she had, that would have been the end of Kamihama. She was a key character during the final battles. She distributed grief seeds, shared vital information, looked after injured girls. If she hadn't been on the Kamihama Magical Girls' side, they would have lost. That was her opportunity to fulfill her own wish, but she didn't take it. During her time as Coordinator she met and became friends with so many Magical Girls, and came to see Kamihama was full of good people too. She turned her back on her own wish to help those that had shown her kindness and friendship and I think that's fascinating.

Day 7: What moment, concept, or character makes you happiest from the game? Why is this?

I think what makes me happiest about the game is that they went for a completely different tone from Madoka Magica... I was so surprised as we went through the story and it was a pretty light-hearted story of found family and friendships with some slice of life thrown in. I love Madoka Magica so much, and the truth about the Magical Girl system was so shocking when I first watched it. It explored so much in so little time, and seeing the girls struggle to survive the system was intense. But I always wondered if more Magical Girls had teamed up to fight Walpurgisnacht, could they have defeated her? And I got my answer in Magia Record. The game focuses on all these unique characters, who still have struggles of their own due their lives and their contracts, but they're not alone. They have teams, other Magical Girl friends, and there's this sense of community between them. And when they all banded together they were able to take down one of the most powerful witches known to Magical Girls. It's a wholesome spin on the Madoka Magica series, and I am here for it!

#magia record #magia rapport

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bemused-writer · 5 years

Note

Hello! First of all I gotta say I love your VNC fics and meta a whole lot and I'm very thankful for them (your Vanóes are GOOD). They're incredibly fun to read, and I love both writing and reading meta a lot. In this topic I'd like to ask your opinion about your views on Noé and Jeanne's relationship? I was rereading VNC recently and noticed that Noé blushes sometimes/stares at Jeanne a lot in the first few chapters, which I found a bit weird since their relationship doesn't get focus? Wdyt?

Thanks so much! This response has turned into a full-blown analysis of their interactions to date, so it’s a bit of a long post.

I’ll admit, the first two times I read what we currently have of VNC I didn’t notice anything between Noé and Jeanne at all. 8D So, it’s quite subtle! However, there’s definitely something going on, otherwise no attention would have been drawn to it in the first place.

The way I’ve been interpreting their interactions is that Noé respects Jeanne, which makes perfect sense. She’s a strong individual and they met on the battlefield in volume 1. I think a lot of his impressions of her stem from this first introduction. The first notable thing he thinks about her is that she’s strong, though not quite as strong as his teacher.

He continues to say, “I can do this. Even on my own…” From this, we can gather he was excited to fix things without Vanitas’s help. It’s important to remember that, at this point in time (volume 1), Noé doesn’t like Vanitas, doesn’t trust him, and would definitely like to distance himself from that bizarre individual.

However, he got ahead of himself. In thinking Jeanne wasn’t quite as strong as his teacher he got a little cocky and was surprised that she countered his attack resulting in what I will call Blush #1:

She then proceeded to send him through a wall. I think his reaction to that (seen below) is important because it tells us something about Noé that becomes more and more evident as the series goes on: he hesitates in combat against certain people.

Noé has a chivalrous side, something that drives Vanitas nuts. He doesn’t want to harm women or children (as evidenced by his first battle with Astolfo where Vanitas remarks that Noé hesitated because Astolfo reminded him of both). Noé was easily defeated by Jeanne here partially because he held himself back because she’s a woman.

He seems surprised by his own hesitation, however, and at how easily he was sent flying. Noé has led a remarkably sheltered life at this point and I think it’s also been somewhat traditional. Women are capable (he knows Dominique, so he must believe that) but they’re also not generally fighters. In short, I think Noé was impressed and had to reevaluate some things on the fly.

At any rate, he’s learned he can’t take Jeanne one-on-one in a fight, so he’s stuck going along with Vanitas’s plan after all, which is kidnapping Luca (even though he doesn’t realize he’s kidnapping Luca…). He doesn’t hear what Vanitas and Jeanne say to each other but by the end of it all, we can tell Noé isn’t exactly impressed with how things were resolved.

The next time Noé even sees Jeanne is toward the end of the Bal Masque in volume 2 after Jeanne drank Vanitas’s blood and Vanitas saved him from Charlatan. While he doesn’t directly interact with Jeanne in this volume whatsoever (all of the focus is given to three relationships this volume: Noé & Dominique, Noé & Vanitas, and Vanitas & Jeanne) we can at least draw a comparison between their personalities. Both Noé and Jeanne go out of their way to protect Luca. Jeanne has a more personal investment in this of course, but Noé befriends Luca and Luca is instantly charmed by Noé.

Speaking of blushing, Luca has done so for both Noé and Jeanne, so I would consider this further evidence of the two of them being similar in personality. Poor Luca, his type seems to be too old for him, unavailable, and with a weird background to boot. 8D

Getting back on track, volume 3 is when we finally see Noé and Jeanne interact a bit once more. They’re at a cafe in Altus Paris after the battle has been resolved. Luca has just finished thanking Noé for rescuing him (it was Vanitas but, honestly, neither him nor Jeanne really want to acknowledge that), and Jeanne chimes in:

Blush #2! For Noé at least. To be honest, I think this is the first time Jeanne has actually addressed him with words. Their only other interaction was their battle in volume 1.

At any rate, the two have very similar reactions. Jeanne is charmed by Noé because he performed the one act she considers most important: he protected Luca. Likewise, Noé is flattered because he’s just been complimented by a very capable individual. I don’t think Noé is used to receiving praise. Vanitas definitely isn’t about to dish it out in any conventional manner, Louis did the opposite of compliment him more often than not, and Teacher doesn’t strike me as affectionate. Dominique is warmer towards him, but I think there are limits there because she doesn’t want Noé to know how she really feels.

The point I’m getting at here is that I think these words, this type of declaration, is dear to him.

The conversation continues into some very awkward territory thanks to one Vanitas. Even if Noé hadn’t heard Vanitas’s declaration of love before, he definitely has now and even he has some awareness that a Mark of Possession is important. I’m kind of unclear on how in-the-know Noé actually is here, but he’s definitely shocked:

The tarte tatin is being ignored… Of course, once Jeanne and Vanitas exit through the window he pursues.

It’s a little unclear whether Noé overheard Vanitas and Jeanne’s conversation but I lean towards thinking he did and that’s why he’s so disappointed: Jeanne gets all of Vanitas’s blood to herself. It also means he knows the two of them have some kind of arrangement and that Vanitas claims to love her. We have no idea what Noé thinks about any of this outside of a general disappointment he can’t have Vanitas’s blood. Unfortunately, it doesn’t tell us anything about his relationship with Jeanne outside of possibly seeing her as some kind of competition.

He next sees Jeanne at the dance where he tries to offer to dance with her except Dominique beat him to it.

There’s also a tiny, little blush here, but I think it’s aimed at Dominique. He has a lot of reasons to blush at Dominique: he literally just drank her blood a few moments ago, and he cares for her deeply.

Also, I know I just said Noé might consider Jeanne as competition, but I really don’t mean that in a negative way. Noé is disappointed, but he still likes her. He honestly doesn’t have any reason not to. He offers to dance with her because she was all by herself and looked troubled. Noé is all about helping troubled individuals, especially when it matches up with his general sense of chivalry.

Their interactions in this volume end there as the rest of his attention is taken up by Vanitas. He does talk about Jeanne, though, but mostly to figure out why Vanitas likes her.

“Vanitas… what do you like about Jeanne?” It’s an honest question and Noé just doesn’t get it. If we continue with the assumption he overheard Vanitas and Jeanne’s conversation, he knows they have an arrangement. He knows Vanitas claims to love her. But he isn’t seeing it himself. He likes Jeanne, but it isn’t that kind of love. Vanitas’s answer does little to explain anything to him whatsoever. He loves Jeanne because she won’t love him back. Rather than explain their relationship, he’s made it far more confusing for Noé, who is no doubt trying to figure out what it is Vanitas and Jeanne actually have. He’s never been confronted by a Mark of Possession before, never been exposed to two people loving each other before, and he’s just lost.

Noé and Jeanne next see each other when they all go to speak with Ruthven in the same volume, but they don’t interact. Noé and Jeanne also don’t interact for the entirety of volume 4, which is centered more around Vanitas & Jeanne as well as Noé & Vanitas.

They finally meet up once more in volume 5 during yet another battle:

Jeanne’s reaction is pretty amusing: “Y-you’re here, too? Well… since Vanitas is here, it’s only natural… I suppose?”

I think it’s just now dawning on her that Noé is always around Vanitas. XD In fairness, she’s actually had dealings with Vanitas on his own pretty often. I don’t think she’s used to seeing Noé by himself whatsoever.

He suggests they can save Chloé and once again he and Jeanne are confronting one another. It does give us Blush #3, though:

In fairness, I think this one is a mix of awe–she’s bested him once again–, some intimidation, and probably embarrassment seeing as a woman just wrapped her whole leg around his neck. I’d be blushing, too. Their confrontation is interrupted by Charlatan and … that’s it. They didn’t interact in volume 6 or in any of the most recent chapters (up to 39 at this point).

So! You are completely correct when you say their relationship isn’t getting a lot of focus. Personally, I think these blushes are just Noé being Noé. He blushes at just about everything. He blushes at Dominique, Jeanne, Paris, Altus Paris, things he finds interesting, and even Vanitas once in the train. Noé doesn’t try to conceal his emotions; he let’s them out. Likewise, Jeanne does the same, although she’s learned to be more reserved than is natural for her judging by her childhood.

Both Noé and Jeanne are designed to be foils to Vanitas, and that’s part of why they’re so similar. They’re both earnest, honest, loyal, kind, powerful, sincere, protective, etc.

In contrast, Vanitas is extremely guarded, tends to have a shaky relationship with the truth, his version of kindness is usually pretty harsh, he’s not strong the way vampires are, and he’s definitely not sincere. He actually is kind of protective towards Jeanne and Noé, though, but he sees this as a flaw rather than a strength. He’s also managed to be pretty loyal to both of them as well though, once again, not something he’s happy about.

I know some people think Jeanne and Noé might get together at some point in this series and I’d say it’s certainly possible. Mochizuki has surprised me with which couples get together before. I think these two would be cute on account of how similar they are. But looking at how things currently stand, I don’t think that’s where we’re headed. I think it’s more likely that we’ll see Vanitas torn between the two of them. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but as far as who he can continue to protect and maintain his reluctant loyalty towards.

I would like to see Jeanne and Noé form a friendship at least, but I think a lot of that is also dependent on Vanitas and other external forces, such as Ruthven.

Thanks for the ask! I liked getting to explore these two. ^^

#vanitas no carte #vnc #vnc meta #Bemused's post #Anonymous #long post

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aileysmirnov · 5 years

Text

◇◆Ailey Villains Gallery: Scarecrow◇◆

Scarecrow's face claim: Adrien Brody

Secret vs Scarecrow! How did they met?

Ailey (Secret) and Scarecrow met 'thanks' to Batman:

One night in Gotham, Scarecrow infiltrated the Iceberg Lounge with the intention to Kill some of Penguin's Henchmen.

With a more "upgraded" (and letal) version of his fear gas.

Just as a way to send a message to Oswald who had stolen some of his gas and now was selling it for a very high price on the dark market.

To prevent Batman from intervening, Scarecrow convinced Riddler and Dr Pig to create a "distraction" (if murdering almost 11 people between the two and then make an "spectacle" about it, can be called like that) for the Bat.

And unfortunately when the "Caped Crusader" realized it was a trap (thanks to one of Riddler's "funny" riddles) he was already too far from the building.

Too far from stopping Scarecrow.

He analyzed all of his options pretty fast: he couldn't send Damian, he was with him, Dick was in Blüdhaven, He already send Tim after Riddler and Steph after Pig, Cass and Barbara where in another state with the Birds of prey, Duke and Kate where teaming up to solve a crime involving a new rising homicidal cult and Jason…he wasn't in good terms with Jason…again…and he losed his track at least 2 weeks ago.

And so…he reluctantly took the phone and dialed the number of the one person he could think of.

Ailey was doing the usual: shouting angrily and throwing a tantrum towards her employees (like the good little tyrant she is) for a last minute cancellation of 4 of the stellar models for the upcoming Winter collection of SVELLYO. When all of a sudden she received a call from the one and only: Bruce fucking Wayne.

—B! What a perfect timing! Is not bothersome at all!—she remarked the words sarcastically annoyed a tone that sounded like the venomous hissing of a snake.

—Listen Ailey, I don't have time for thi-

She cut him off

—What a coincidence! Neither do I, B's man! Byee~

—Ailey…—He didn't shout at her but his more menacing (than usually) tone, make her feel like he did; it was a voice tone that Bruce normally just used when he was with Joker and when he used it. Oh boy, You just knew the man ain't taking any shit.

—Listen to me. And listen. C A R E F U L L Y. Scarecrow is in the Iceberg Lounge it's 2 minutes away from you by flying. I need you to go after him and prevent whatever he's up to against Cobblepot.—He said a little more ""nicer"" (if it's even possible) this time, but still with a hint of frustration in his voice.

—yeah…well…I also need this little favor, B—Bruce was about to fucking lose it in that moment, there where lives in danger and this CHILD was just thinking of herself!! But before he could lash out at her with a "I'm dissapointed" speech; Damian took the phone.

—He said he'll do it, you have my word. Now…Go! —Robin said without thinking twice

—Thank you, my zelenyy*! I'm on my way! —and with an Angry Bruce Lashing out at every single thing on earth on the background, Ailey hanged up, wrote a quick note to his secretary, asking him to give all of her employees a rise (including him, of course) and sprinted out to SVELLYO's roof top; without a word to the perplexed staff.

Once she stood there.She could feel the cold night breeze hitting her face and without any doubt she jumped abruptly from one of the highest points in the city.

Her eyes opened at the middle of his falling, adrenaline and renewed energy cursing trough her veins, her blonde hair replaced with a glowing rose gold, a metalic blue growing in her gaze and her outfit conveniently transformed on an all black bodysuit with slight hints of gold on the bottom of her sleeves.

His whole body defying gravity, flying through the night sky with the same grace and glory of a swan and leaving a subtle trace of light glowing pink as she passed by.

She arrived at the Iceberg Lounge back entrance at least 5 seconds earlier from what Batman had predicted.

Penguin's henchmen where all gathered in what appeared to be a small cellar on the very back of the casino, they were complaining about an out of the blue"meeting".

Secret (Ailey) assumed it was Scarecrow's way to get them all in the same place and avoid any unnecessary complications.

With extreme caution she stood and watched near the skylight, trying to fade away her own slightly glowing nature with the moonlight.

Her eyes searched quickly inside the room, ans she soon spotted atleast 6 gas tanks oddly put in some of the poorly lighted corners of the cellar.

But no sign of the maniac

Or so she though until the abrupt pain in her neck and the obscure presence behind her sooner than later make her realize; she wasn't alone.

She could feel the infernal pain from the toxin filling his lungs and cutting her breath and her vision becoming a little bit dizzy.

—You should know better than spying on people, dear…It might not end up being what you expected—his voice was deep and unforgiving, a condescending tone and the weight of countless sleepless nights leaked through every word.

She tried to speak but only felt her throat closing.

—Now, now, dear…all will end up soon. —His tall and lanky figure covered by worn out clothes to match his own psychotic aesthetic made him look intimidating. And without any glimpse of empathy he proceeded to toss her body aside with a kick like if she was a filthy dead rat, and continue to watch expectantly to the ignorant henchmen above.

He was waiting, waiting for one of them to foolishly reveal where his beloved toxin was and after a couple of minutes one of them casually mentioned a secret basement where the most important items waited patiently for whoever was able to afford his almost ridiculously expensive price.

Crane smiled wickedly to himself…he had just what he wanted…almost.

He activated the slightly hidden tanks of fear gas and watched in admiration as some of the henchmen faces started to change into a horrified expression.

—Head's up, asshole!—He didn't even had time to process the situation properly, when Secret's hands where at both sides of his head, the tip of her fingers illuminated and emanating Rose gold strings of pure energy attaching themselves to Crane's mind.

And at that exact moment he remembered: the pain, the panic, the fear.

The very first time he tested his toxin, was on himself: he was laying in to that dirty old shack for what felt like an eternity; he screamed and begged and yet the hallucinations didn't leave him, his mind was racing with the most horrible thought it could possibly even consider, everything so real and yet so distant. He felt hopeless.

And the delicate strings clinging tight around his mind. Lord, what a bittersweet nostalgia! He felt the same, the same way as the first time, he could hear the screams, the voices, the endless discontent. But couldn't find anything around him…just…hollow and for some strange reason…that scared the shit out of him.

Ironically it had been years since the last time Crane felt genuine fear.

When Crane woke up, he was already in that horrible place: a worn out cell from Arkham

But strangely he didn't feel any kind of anger or frustration. No…he felt…elated in the best way possible almost like if he had reborn!

And so…he stood there; staring blankly at the small window with an almost devilish smile across his face.

Waiting for the next encounter

◆◇◆◇

Ailey felt so proud of herself, she had successfully managed to knock out Scarecrow, control the gas leak and save Penguin's henchmen! All alone! And even took the liberty to recover all of Crane's toxin samples Penguin had!

She couldn't wait to see Bruce's face, Oh that man owed her BIG TIME!

When Bruce and Damian finally arrived at the Batcave, he was welcomed by her.

She looked like a 10 year-old who approved one of his test and was proudly showing off the paper to his parents.

Wich made Bruce smile…a little (even if he doesn't admit to it)

—See? You can trust me, B!—she said handing him the samples.

—So you send him to Arkham? Hmm…honestly I didn't though you'll made it…but good job…I guess…?—Damian admitted, while taking off his mask.

—Well, I'm glad I'm not THAT disappointing, sir! —Her tone expressing the sarcasm and slight frustration and offence in every word. Which Damian only replayed with a faint little smile.

—…Good Job, Ailey…—Bruce spoke for the first time since they arrived

—…and thank you for your help…—He completed with a slightly more """friendly""" tone (which just means less stiffness in his voice but still maintaining his authoritarian tone)

—yeah…well…don't thank me yet…we had a deal!—She said while playfully floating around him and touching the ears of his Bat-suit; Bruce could only do as much as to touching the bridge of his nose trying to contain his very obvious nuisance.

—…What do want? —He said sighing heavily.

—Nothing much, really! I want You, Damian, Dick and Katy modeling for SVELLYO winter collection catwalk, next week! —

◆◇◆◇

OMG! That was fun! I was going to put a small and cute little drawing of Ailey touching the ears of the Bat-suit but I still haven't finished yet! So yeah…I will edit it once I have it done!

Anyway! I loved writing this, and I will be uploading more content for Ailey, wich now she has her official anti-hero name! And is called

🥁🥁🥁🥁

Secret!

Shout out to @melyaliz / @insideoflit for the name idea! I honestly struggle so much with names 😅

Thanks to @Shiro.GURu (on insta) for helping me with this! Love ya, girl <3

Tagging: @lobodesaturno @snowflake2sstuff @lord-carstairs @weam0theblueblues @morefarthanaway

#batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #OC #scarecrow #antihero #dc comics #damian wayne #robin #jonathan crane #ailey #greek mythology #adrien brody #edit #hedcanons #imagine #villian #lol bye

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years

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5) Honestly, imo it would made a lot more sense if Serena got involved with the Resistance after 2x08. She's a writer and a good propagandist, June's an editor, they could carefully go behind Fred's back. Also, Commander Lawrence is there. They could have brought down Gilead from within. Maybe I'm being simplistic, but I think it would have given a nice msg. An instigator (and impassioned supporter) of a misogynistic (and homophobic) totalitarian regime becomes a victim herself, but decides to

6) to do sth about that monstrous situation she created, even if that means that she will go down with Gilead. Then again, I do understand why the creators didn't go there. This is the handmaid's tale, not the redeemed fascist's tale. Regarding 2x10, oof. I pride myself in having a hard stomach, but that scene made me REALLY, REALLY uncomfortable (and ENRAGED). (A lot more uncomfortable than the previous ceremonies, which were terrible enough on their own, AND Eden's death* .) And given that

7) Serena has the gall to tell Fred that June hates him, because he raped her. Like bitch, stfu, it was YOUR idea! You raped her and used Fred for the penetration. And not only that, but she manipulated Fred/played him like an instrument. She knows at this point that he's a serial rapist/abuser AND in love with June, so ofc he wouldn't decline the opportunity to abuse her once again. It really is telling that June was screaming Serena's name, not Fred's. I wonder wtf was going on Serena's mind

8) to put the baby's life in danger. She could have punished June after the birth if she really wanted to. That being said, I personally think that Serena was kind of OOC in that episode. Not because she's an angel that is not capable of such hideous things. But, after taking under consideration 2x08 and 2x09, I felt that her 180° change came out of nowhere. Especially, since she took a small taste of her own medicine. She knows what abuse/domestic violence feels like. As for the marital rape,

9) it may have been clichéd, but it would also have made sense. A person that repeatedly rapes a woman, beats his wife and is okay with mutilations draws the line at forcing himself on her? Since when do creepers have standards? One last thing, because I've spammed you enough. *I mentioned Eden's death (which made me cry like a baby). How do you feel about her? Bc was disappointed that the fandom blamed a 15 year old child that was forced to marry a man twice her age. Not only that, but she

10) forgave him and kept Nick and June's secret? // END OF RANT // My apologies.

---------

I think I have to put a read more here! Eep!

“Then again, I do understand why the creators didn't go there. This is the handmaid's tale, not the redeemed fascist's tale.”

I had to laugh IRL there. Cos, it’s true. It’s June’s story, technically speaking, not Serena’s. And I dunno but I feel like I suspect that’s where they eventually want to take the show. But S2 is too early for that? I personally don’t know why. There’s no law an American programme must go one for 14 seasons. It could easily be a 4 season series. Or 3! But I’ve read things that Hulu wants to keep it going as long as possible. Huge mistake, imo. Organically speaking, Serena changing course after 2x08, or even, at a push, 2x09 would have made much more sense than this “will she? won’t she?” BS they keep doing with her. I think she’s come around in a way she hadn’t before by the finale (or Eden’s murder). But it still doesn’t seem like it’s something she’ll carry through with--especially without June. It’s interesting how much Serena relies on June for incentive/encouragement. Basically everything Serena’s done in resistance since mid-S2 has been because June has done or challenged her or said something to prompt her. I feel on her own, she would be ~meeker. Even things like, “Hey, so I know this way to possible save the baby... what do you think?” is clearly her going “Please say what I want to hear!” It’s like she can’t just do it herself. She needs June’s input. June was calling almost every shot in 2x08. In 2x09, when left to her own devices, Serena folded. It took June screaming at her in 2x13 for her to do anything about reading. So, without June around I feel like Serena will just go back to old ways. Which is ridic cos she is an intelligent, powerful woman when she actually has the balls. The only thing Serena manages to do on her own is assault, hate speech, and war crimes lol. The easy shit.

That said, I kinda like how they ended 2x08. I loved Fred seeing the rose on June’s bedside and putting all the pieces together and seeing that as the true threat: Serena and June as friends/partners in rebellion. The beating scene was horrific too, mostly cos I’m not one of those weird fans that was sitting there cheering, “YAY I’M SO GLAD SERENA GOT BEAT! SERVES HER RIGHT!” (I just... want to throttle every single person who’s said that. Not necessarily cos I wuv woobie Serena sfm but because way to miss the point of the entire series.) but the aftermath was even worse, imo. June reaching out and attempting to maintain the bond, but Fred managed to break Serena really easily. Like it’s just so awful how easy it was for him to snap that bond, cos he knows his wife and her pride, etc. It was ... so manipulative and evil genius. (Although it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Freddie boy.) It was just such a prime example of exactly how they maintain power in Gilead and how they managed to get it working: estranging women from each other. And it was just such an apt way of visualising the concepts June talked about in S1 about keeping women at arm’s length of each other, suspicious, etc. in order for men to keep power. So, in that sense, I thought it was well done. But then... I was like, “OH FUCK THIS. NOT AGAIN. FUCKING SERENA. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT. WHY CAN’T SHE BE STRONG LIKE JUNE. UGH.”

I dunno.

Yeah. 2x10. I was “lucky” to have seen that scene ahead of time... so I was prepared when it happened during the episode. But it was still repulsive. Aside from the nonsensical writing of the whole thing, it was just gross. And I think maybe you’re the first person that when talking about this has mentioned how grossed out you are by the other Ceremony scenes. So many people just... don’t really mention them. I remember the article about 2x10 and how the showrunners were saying something along the lines of “Is it really that big of a deal when the same thing has been happening the entire time?” Nobody reacted the same way those times, because the Handmaids are quiet and well-behaved during their rapes, even though, on some level I think Serena and some other wives (IIRC) are completely aware of how terrible it is (Serena even admits as much...but does it anyway uuuggghhhhh.) This is the only time June ever fights back and suddenly not only are Fred and Serena faced with the brutal reality of the act but as the audience we are as well. It’s easy to look the other way when nobody is crying or struggling but WHAM. Fuck that. This is gross and horrible and here is what it REALLY is. And it’s hard to swallow.

June crying Serena’s name was probably the absolute worst part, cos it just makes it crystal clear that everyone knows exactly who is responsible for that rape. June knows who has the power, whose idea it was, and she knows the only one to stop it is not Fred. (God, I fucking hate Fred but like you said, he was totally played by Serena. I don’t let him off the hook for it but really it was her idea, 100% and he just thought “Hell yeah! Sounds good!”)

I feel like as much as Serena understood the Ceremony is pretty bad generally, I don’t think she recognised it as “real” rape until that moment. I feel like a lot of those Gilead people are just so willfully blind and selfish and horrible that they actively refuse to see things. Like Serena’s weird ass enthrall about child brides. I know some of that was to get back at June but she seemed genuinely awed by how beautiful it all was. NO BITCH IT’S NOT. IT’S CHILD ABUSE AND SEX TRAFFICKING.

I just have given up trying to understand why Serena would do such a monumentally STUPID and DANGEROUS thing if she honestly cared about the baby--which, incidentally, I do believe she truly loves Nicole and babies. As crazy as that is. Even if her love of Nicole specifically is totally a self-centeredness. But she loves babies. Babies above all else apparently, including other women. And she’s not an idiot. Baby health aside, that is a HUGE crime in Gilead to rape a pregnant Handmaid for any reason. I’m supposed to believe Serena is just so massively upset about June’s false labour that she goes mentally insane, even after being subjected to the similar treatment like a week earlier? It’s a huge, nonsensical risk on basically every single level.

I’ve come to the conclusion, considering all those things you did, it was just bad writing. Her 180 just... is bonkers. I give up. I don’t think there’s any way to logically get from 2x08/09 to 2x10 without taking some leaps. Do I think Serena would punish and abuse June for humiliating her? Absolutely. That’s her MO. She lives for that shit. But rape? It... I dunno again. Fucking weird. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or what, but I do find it interesting that after that Serena never raises a hand to June again, when she had some opportunity. She still punished her by separating her from Nicole but she never physically assaults her again. (Not that I’m saying she’s a changed person or anything. I just thought it was curious but I don’t know if it was deliberate on the show’s part or just a symptom of lack of real opportunity.)

ITA re: the marital rape too. I see no reason Fred wouldn’t escalate to that. It’s all Joseph Fiennes fault. Which is probably what pisses me off the very most. He decided that was just too much for his character? C’mon. That’s too much but what Fred does in the next ep is peachy keen? Oh, right, because in 2x10 we can blame Fred’s behaviour on his evil wife. It’s not really his fault. I see. But you can’t blame Serena for him raping her. Ugh. So, cos, Fiennes doesn’t like it, we lose way more context for Serena--who, lbr, is the more important character in this whole series out of the two of them.

EDEN. OMG BB EDEN.

I’m with you. I was actually pretty disgusted at fandom’s response to her. SHE IS A CHILD. But all these Nick/June shippers were going hogwild attacking her for getting inbetween their precious self-insert fantasy relationship. (I have a particularly low opinion of Nick/June shippers primarily because of their reactions to Eden, tbh. Before that, I was like whatever, each to their own.) This is a story about women and girls in a horrible society, and the focus seemed to be on tearing apart this female child for something she had zero control over. I never got the “Eden is evil and gonna fuck shit up for Nick (and June)!” vibe. She seemed to be a regular girl caught and raised in a misogynistic awful place and just lost. I absolutely ABHORRED the way Nick treated her the entire fucking time. (I honestly hate him so much, and most of that again is due to him since the forced marriage, both in the way he was with Eden and with June. And the number of fangirls fanwanking away all his shitty fucking behaviour and throwing Eden under the bus didn’t help my attitude.)

She’s a KID. FORCED TO MARRY A GROWN MAN. A man who it wouldn’t kill to just be straight up with her and a little bit kind. Fuck. (Serena’s grooming certainly wasn’t good either. Like, seriously lady, shut up. Stop pressuring the kid to fuck an adult man who hates her by telling her “Well maybe you can like it too!” AHHHHH.)

To me, aside from the babies/children, Eden was the most truly good character on the entire show. She was patient, kind, caring, FORGIVING, loving. Completely innocent bb girl. And then she gets fucking murdered for kissing a boy she actually likes and wants to be with. Which, was ........... wow. Gilead’s hypocrisy killing a pious young girl, presumably fertile... Yikes.

And that little girl was more brave than ANY other character. And maybe some of that is teenage thinking but still she was staring down death and refused to back down. Sure, it’s unreasonable, and an adult likely wouldn’t have made that decision... but also what was her option? Repent... and become a Handmaid? That would have been her fate since she’s an adulteress and fallen woman. And since she truly believes in goodness, and God, and Heaven (presumably), she sees it as a way for her and Isaac to be together. Meanwhile, it took a literal death sentence for Nice Guy Nick to actually recognise he could have maybe been a bit kinder to her. Then she’s asking for HIS forgiveness. AH. Eden bb.

I have a lot of feelings about Eden, and the way fandom treated her. Even when she was killed, fans were still calling her stupid and annoying for her choice--likely the ONLY real choice she has EVER had for herself. (I think that concept gets forgotten.) Like WTF sort of world do you live in that you watch a show about fascism and female oppression and turn around and bitch out the YOUNG GIRL strictly for being a young girl in a fascist society?

But hey, this is the same fandom that calls Janine annoying and crazy, and says Serena deserves to be beaten and mutilated by her husband/Gilead. Way to miss the point of the entire show. But that’s a totally other rant for another time, heh.

Also, anon, NEVER APOLOGISE FOR YOUR RANTS. They are so wonderful to read cos I completely agree! And it’s just such a relief to see reasonable people around these parts.

#rants and raves #Anonymous

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