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#Incorrect stark family
incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Tony: We have decided that if anything happens to me or Pepper, we’d want Nat to be Morgan's guardian.
Natasha: That is great news! Morgan, when something horrible happens you’re going to be all mine.
Pepper: It really is more of an ‘if’ situation.
Natasha: All mine!
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strangeironaf · 1 year
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*Family group chat*
Tony: who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Peter: >:0 language
Morgan: yeah dad, watch your fucking language
Stephen: OKAY WHO TAUGHT MORGAN THE FUCK WORD
America: 'the fuck word'
Pepper: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time.
Harley: oh my god she censored it
Tony: Say fuck Pepp
Christine: do it Pepper. Say fuck.
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TONY: Stephen and I--
PETER: Are getting married?
STEPHEN: No, we--
HARLEY, PULLING OUT A GIANT BINDER: Sit down. We've planned out the entire thing.
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When Peter goes to college
Clint: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Peter: Why? Clint: Tony fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. Steve: We don't know how to banish spirits, so Tony is just throwing salt at them and yelling "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"
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marvellover76 · 3 months
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*in a meeting*
Y/n: Everyone has a cousin that teaches you a few bad things. Like how to smoke, how to pick pocket, how to hot wire a car, how to put tacks in your shoes when you want to throw off a liar detector test.
*silence*
Tony: And which cousin was it?
Y/n: *whispers* I am the cousin.
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Tony: think about the possibilities, you could stab your enemies with this
Stephen: it isn’t efficient: the heat will immediately close the severed arteries.
Harley: I’m sorry Stephen, but it actually works just fine.
America: and you just witnessed a Gryffindor, a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin having a conversation.
Peter: why use it to cut people when you can have toasts?!
America: and here’s the Hufflepuff
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ungrateful-sneeze · 7 months
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All the avengers hanging out and wallowing on Father’s Day cause they are all orphans.
Peter hands Tony a Father’s Day card
The avengers watching: *omg they are finally going to realize they see each other as father and son*
Tony: *being oblivious as usual* omg Peter you taught DUM-E how to write that’s so cute.
Peter: *cough* yeah Mr Stark that exactly what I did.
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romanoffshouse · 11 months
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Natasha: How dumb does Pepper think you are?
Tony: Sometimes she leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.
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fandomnerd9602 · 9 months
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Tony marvels at Y/N and Wanda’s babies…
Tony: I can’t believe it! I become a grandpa on the same day I become a dad too!!
Y/N: uhh… Dad? Isn’t Pepper in labor right now?
Tony: oh dang it! I gotta go!! Congrats you two!!
Tony runs off in a hurry…
Wanda: he’s lucky it’s the same hospital.
Y/N kisses her on the forehead and holds her tight…
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literaryavenger · 17 days
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Tony during a team dinner trying to make a point while talking about Y/N and Peter: I'd like to point out I raised two successful children.
Steve, shocked: You have two kids we don't know about??
Tony: Come on, they're good people.
*Meanwhile Y/N and Peter across the table*
Y/N to Peter: Can you pass me a napkin?
Peter: Is milady's arm broken?
Y/N: Yours is about to be.
Peter: Move!
Y/N: You have room!
Peter: No, move out! You're 40!
Y/N: *gasps*
The team after watching Y/N and Peter throw each other pieces of food like children: *They look back at Tony with raised eyebrows*
Tony:
Tony: Don't look at me, it's Pepper's fault. I was barely around!
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incorrectquotesmcu · 1 month
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Steve: Yes, I'm a caring a person. And without Tony, I would just keep giving and giving and giving. I'm like a big runaway charity truck and Tony is my off-ramp full of safety gravel.
Tony:
Steve: He knows how to say no. He can always put himself first. He certainly can turn his back on someone suffering.
Tony, looking offended:
Tony: No, really, keep going.
Steve: He—
Tony, looking at Steve: Don't keep going!
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strangeironaf · 1 year
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Harley: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.
Peter: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.
America: Wasps?
Tony: Terriers?
Stephen: Tony.
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mikereads · 5 months
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Buck: Do you think bingo was a word before it was a game? Or the other way around?
Eddie: that’s too deep for me.
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Tony, proudly: I slept.
Natasha: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?!
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lilylovelyxo · 1 year
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*Tony and Pepper talking about their daughter.*
Pepper: “Y/N just got her learner’s permit.”
Tony: “We’ve been taking turns driving with her.”
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—— *describing various experiences*——
*Tony and Y/N driving.*
Tony sitting in the passenger seat inspecting car interior. : “This navigation system is all messed up. It thinks we’re in a park.”
Tony looks up and panics: “Oh my god! It is a park! Away from the kids! Aim for the lake! Oh my god!”
Y/N screaming: “I don’t want to die!”
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cinematics123 · 1 year
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Buck (recovering after lightning/coma): It’s ok, Eddie. We’ve been through worse. You’ve been through worse.
Eddie (shattered): it wasn’t worse. It wasn’t you.
Buck: 🥹
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