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tempvstas · 9 months

Note

Hello! If requests are open (if not please ignore this) may I request headcanons of Octavinelle plus Riddle (separately) with an s/o that has a fairly weak immune system and gets sick easily? Have a good day/night and look after yourself!

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Content Warning(s): probably ooc octatrio, i've been burnt out so character portrayals may be inaccurate

Character(s): GN!Reader(no pronouns mentioned), Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Riddle Rosehearts

Authors Notes: HI YES IM GONNA TRY AND FINISH REQUESTS SO YES I CAN DO THIS AND TY FOR YOUR CONCERN <3

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Azul Ashengrotto

Constantly fussing over you, he's quite literally the definition of a mother hen that's absolutely whipped for you

He's always making sure that you're hydrated and eating properly. It's not good to skip out on meals!

Has medication and other necessities in his office for whenever you aren't feeling well. Having coughing fits? He has cough syrup for alleviating the symptoms. Your muscles feel sore and achey? He's pulling out salonpas and asking you where you need him to put it. Runny nose? He's handing you a pack of tissues for you to carry.

Jade Leech

Malewife

Has everything you would ever need. And he's constantly by your side to ensure that you're okay. Not as overbearing as Azul but you can see through his actions that he worries about you

He teases you lightly when you tell him you're sick again. He'll pat the top of your head affectionately before draping his jacket over your shoulders, hands lingering as he ensures that it's on you securely and taking you to Mostro Lounge to get you something warm to eat.

Floyd Leech

Huhhhhh? You're not feeling well again? Well it's not his problem (jkjk he loves you lots)

Not necessarily the best at taking care of you, but you do notice that he lingers by you a lot. Surprisingly he's on his best behavior and you have no problem wrangling him in when he's "being difficult" as Azul puts it.

He lets you lean against him for support when you're feeling tired and picks you up and carries you around (embarrassing ik, but he has no shame)

Riddle Rosehearts

He feels a little helpless because he does his best to stay in good health in order to maintain his grades and not fall behind in his studies, so he rarely becomes sick himself.

He's not an expert at cooking but he learned simple recipes(with the help of Trey) like chicken soup and stuff to help you feel better when you're feeling especially unwell.

He'll stay by your bedside quietly reading a book or working on his homework while you rest. He has a thermometer and some medicine on your nightstand, observing your condition. He refuses to let you do anything, insisting that he does it for you fearing that you'll strain yourself, or worse get hurt in your weakened condition,

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amaesama · 2 years

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𝐶𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑦𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑎 𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑

Toby: it’s funny to call people who aren’t furries furries and then watch them scramble to defend themselves, same kinda fun you get from calling homophobic people gay.

BEN: yeah, shits hilarious. Makes me whip n nae.

Toby: I don’t think anything has ever made me whip n nae.

BEN: I always hit the whip n nae.

Toby: I prefer to hit people, specifically some of the people I work with. Mainly Tim.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Jeff: isn’t boba just paying money to have balls down your throat?

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Tim: Toby this is gonna be a bad day

Toby: lol bad time funny snas

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

E.J: It’s no question that I am absolutely a malewife but what people assume to be mansplaining is actually a misinterpretation of how I look when I talk to people shorter than me, I just happen to also be taller than most people I know.

Tim: are you a malewife?

E.J: I can cook, I can clean, I know how to repair just about everything in a house, I make an incredible cup of tea and it would not take much convincing to get me in a maid costume.

E.J: so absolutely yes, I am a malewife.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Helen: shush I’m watching High School Musical 3.

Puppeteer: there’s a third one?!

Helen:…

Puppeteer: oh yeah the one with the dick and balls title card.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Clockwork: Not saying that cannibalism is MORAL OR ANYTHING but it’s not like I as a western white person can judge their morals cuz a) they would kill me and b) I am vegetarian.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Liu: I’m an enabler, you wanna kill someone? Go for it, buddy.

Jane: oh so you just want the chaos, you’re into random shit going down.

Liu: what can I say, I’m just really random and quirky.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Dina (watching HSM2 with Helen and Johnathan): Chad and Ryan should date, I Don’t Dance was the gayest song ever.

Puppeteer: oh my god it was though.

Dina: ‘I don’t dance’ is a metaphor for homosexuality, and Ryan and Chad swapping clothes at the end? Gay as hell.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Shout out to Joe for unknowingly inspiring this.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #incorrect quotes #bloody painter #puppeteer #judge angels #jeff the killer #ben drowned #ticci toby #masky #jeff the killer x reader #ben drowned x reader #ticci toby x reader #eyeless jack x y/n #eyeless jack

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megistusdiary · 11 hours

Note

does arle give malewife energy what do we think

listen. she could!!! she gives me absolutely whipped for her wife vibes idk. she's fucking crazy, but once she's home, she becomes so tender.

if we were talking like, her being a stay at home dad... oml. arle house husband??? but like, if they were in the mafia 😭

#arlecchino #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚#💐─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 #🌸─𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘺 #🪻─𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘴 ୨♡୧

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cod-dump · 10 months

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HEY!!! So, I just want to you are an inspiration to writing everywhere and I love your stuff? And if it isn't too much I would like to know, can you rank all the best 141 Ships in one massive list? Personally SoapGhost at top, but I want to see what you think

Ranking the ships? Oh boy--

This is a good opportunity for me to show how I feel about some ships.

Keep in mind I ranked them by how I feel about them personally (also I put down as many as I could think of and if I missed one then I'll happily add on)

Has been edited, ships added

___

Soap/Ghost: Good ship, absolutely love it. Height diverse, canon banter that I can go over all day and not get bored, angst potential-- Have written so much for this ship and I'm not tired of it yet. Good ship, 10/10.

Alejandro/Rudy: Fucking LOVE this. They give off 'married for ten plus years and happily in love'. I want to write more for them because I fucking love them so much. 10/10, good ass ship.

Konig/Horangi: I admit I don't look into this ship as much but I do like what I see people write for them. I like them, good potential for fics, would like to write for at some point. 8/10.

Price/Nik: Yes, married for several years, knows each other better than themselves. I want/need to write more for them because I do like this ship. 10/10.

Price/Graves: Yes, fucking love it. So much potential of what you can do with it. I have written somethings for it and definitely plan on writing so much more. 10/10, fuck yes.

Price/Ghost: Not my favorite. 4/10

Price/Gaz: Not my favorite but I don’t have any problems with it. 5/10

Price/Soap: Not bad but I don’t have any ideas for it. 5/10.

Soap/Konig: Oh yes, I like this. 'Enemies to lovers'. I have so many ideas for this ship but I haven't written any fics on them yet. Definitely on my to do list. 10/10.

Ghost/Konig: Yes, big boy on big boy violence affection. 'Enemies to lovers'. Have a lot of ideas for them but I haven't written anything down yet. 8/10.

Farah/Alex: I like them, I think they're cute. I also think Alex is whipped and does whatever Farah wants to make her happy. Awesome malewife/girlboss relationship. 10/10.

Valeria/Graves: You know she tops. God, I can imagine them being the bitchiest couple on the face of the planet. They're so toxic yet it works for them. Would write for, have some ideas for them. 6/10.

Valeria/Alejandro: I mean, I love scornful ex-lovers just like anybody else. Maybe they were once pretty healthy in the past but they're definitely pretty toxic, too. Would write for if given a prompt (or if I get inspired all the sudden). 7/10.

Valeria/Rudy: GOD-- so many ideas involving past lovers, Valeria aiming to use Rudy to hurt Alejandro, just plan toxic ideas. Would write if requested or if I get randomly inspired. 8/10

Ghost/Rudy: Have written this before, I think it's cute. I haven't seen much for them, sadly. Might write this again (on my own or prompted). 8/10

Soap/Alejandro: Like the ship above, I think it's cute. I would write stuff for it. Bromance turned romance. 8/10

Price/Graves/Nik: FUCK YES. God, the brainrot is strong with this one. Love them so much, have so many ideas for them. Probably will never tire of them, OT3. 10/10.

Nik/Graves: God I have ideas for this one. Fuck yea new ideas to plague me in the middle of the night. 10/10.

Soap/Gaz: Yes, gimme. 'Friends to Lovers', good shit. Lots of fluff, silly shenanigans, all the good stuff. 10/10.

Gaz/Alex: Yes, love this. Cute as fuck. I can see a adorable slow burn romance, bromance to romance, didn't know they were dating-- I got ideas for it. Would love to write for it. 10/10.

Ghost/Gaz: Yes, I actually really like this one. Again, I see no content for it and it makes me sad. Love to write for it and put this ship out there. Some good, angsty slow burn. 10/10.

Farah/Gaz/Alex: I find adorable. I love this so much. Would write for happily. I haven't seen much content for them sadly (maybe it's because I don't look hard enough). Good ship, 10/10.

Alejandro/Valeria/Rudy: Got some pretty good ship ideas for this. Good ass angst with some fluff. The good stuff right here. Definitely could see this being a past relationship that ended badly, leaving two of them (or maybe all three) heartbroken. 8/10

Soap/Gaz/Ghost: Absol-fucking-lutely. Love this shit right here so much. I need to write more for it because it's a shame there's not more content for it. 10/10.

Price/Gaz/Soap/Ghost: I do like this oddly enough. I like them all together for some reason. 7/10

Ghost/Roach: Yes, I love this shit. Good angst potential, good past lovers potential. 'Lovers to friends to lovers' shit right here. 10/10

Soap/Roach: The chaos, the trouble they could get into-- Yes, absolutely. Good shit right there. Love to see it and would definitely write for it. 10/10.

Soap/Roach/Ghost: Yes, god yes. So many ways do make this happen. Angst, fluff, smut-- all that you possibly need in a ship. Fucking beautiful, love to see it, definitely would love to write it at some point. 10/10,

Soap/Gaz/Roach: Yes, yes, and yes. Good shit right here, cute and fluffy (though I could make it angsty if I tried). Silly shenanigans, chaos, all the good stuff. 10/10.

Soap/Gaz/Roach/Ghost: I haven't seen anything for this but I think it's cute and works. 8/10.

Soap/Graves: Good angst potential here, 'friends to lovers to enemies'. Would write for, been thinking of writing for it. 7/10.

Ghost/Graves: Much like the one above, very good. Angst is perfect, many ideas for this ship. Would love to write more for it. 7/10.

Soap/Ghost/Konig: Yes, I like this. Have several spicy ideas for it, a lot of drama. Haven't written anything for it yet but I would like to. 9/10.

Farah/Valeria: Toxic lesbian enemy to lovers? Mhmm yes. 7/10

Makarov/Yuri: Toxic ex lovers. Bad, manipulative situation that Yuri could fall back into because Makarov can read him like an open book. 6/10

Shepherd/Death: 10/10, OTP.

___

Used 10/10 rating because I couldn't even think of how I would rank them. If I missed any you would like to see tell me and I'll rate them.

(no particular order because I rated them as I thought of them)

#call of duty #cod mwii #modern warfare ii #ships #ship ratings #ask #thanks for the ask <3

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ctheathy · 9 months

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I'm meat munching Secret history tails rn.. could I request a secret history tails x Hyper cuddly! Reader a reader who is just very hyper definitely not allowed to have coffee but there looks are deceiving and They know how to fight really well so let's just say somebody tries to fight them and they just Kick there Butt and there completely whipped for tails- Like they would do anything he tell them to do kinda like harley quinn with the joker The reader just joins in on his Chaos sometimes or if he just tells them to hand him stuff they would do it in a heartbeat

Secret History Tails w/ Hyper cuddly!Darling

Secret History Tails x Reader

Fluff Headcanons

Short Concept

Mmm smegsy lipbite😏

Author’s note : HA! Gotta love pampering this unstable a$$ fox. Let’s just not add in on the toxic dynamic between Harley and the Joker, though😭 you two are wholesome babey’s with one another on this blog.

This is malewife x girlboss dynamic fr.

The request had it stated, but in case anybody just so happened to miss it, SH Tails from There’s Something About Amy was chosen

SH Tails/Reader [Romantic]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Amy’s brainwashing is mentioned •

୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.

Right off the bat, he just doesn’t understand how he got so lucky to end up with somebody such as yourself. To him, you truly are like an angel. And he doesn’t behave indifferently about that fact either. You’re like an absolute sunshine in comparison to the horrors they call the multiverse, as if you are the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. He praises you to no end as he covers you in tender and passionate kisses, gently holding onto you as you make your ways through the multiverse. I can see TSAA Tails being a lot more mentally available and composed rather than his past self back in Secret Histories. He’s more mature now and has complete control over the situation you currently find yourselves in, making him slightly less vulnerable. He oftentimes tries to brush off your acts of service, telling you it’s not necessary at all-! You’re his beloved, after all. But he cannot help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenever you do manage to get the job done for him. But due to his determined nature, he tends to give you back a favour for your own self every single time.

Despite the fact that you might have enough control over your surroundings and are physically prepared and capable when it comes to self defense besides the potential threats, Tails cannot help but remain the same overprotective fox that he always has been. He’ll allow you to take the reins, but not without quietly observing from a distance, keeping a close eye on you and jump in at a moment’s notice when he notices one single hint of struggle. He doesn’t wish to underestimate your strength, knowing it has the capability of upsetting you, but he wants you safe so.damn.badly. The man wouldn’t know what on Mobius to do with himself if he allowed you to get hurt in one way or another.

He most likely just lets out a singular chuckle of his own at your hyper demeanour and allows you to cling to him with no hesitance. You truly are an endearing soul in his eyes. And how you’re so dead set on keeping him in high priority and ensure his safety wherever you both go, it truly just results in him being all wrapped around your little finger if you look deeper into it. And despite the risk of his position, he completely allows it to happen too. He trusts you with all his might and the things you do for him among the dimensions only makes that devotion grow even stronger. I could for example see you protecting the fox with your life whenever you both end up in a world that hold an endangered environment. You just insist and ensure he stays in the back while you deal with the little issue yourself, leaving him to stare in awe at your form in combat.

I certainly believe you’d get along with Amy quite a lot aswell. Especially when being in similar positions when it comes to travelling through the multiverse and often needing Tails to guide you two through the place, the both of you are able to relate a lot on your current conditions. You did feel a little bad for letting Amy be brainwashed like she had been though, but then again, it was what he desired for the quest after all. And regrettably saying, your priorities just seem to find themselves in the wrong direction. You try your best to not let the dimensions get to your head, but it can become hard due to just how much your companions alone have been caught up in it over the course of time.

୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧୭ ˚○◦˚.

#secret history tails #mashed tails #sh tails #secret history tails x reader #tails x reader #yandere tails #sonic x reader #sonic the hedgehog x reader #yandere tails x reader #sonic the hedgehog

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jasontoddssuper · 7 months

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Pre-Ditf Dick,Jason and Roy headcanons but specifically in my trans woman Dick rewrite(Ft.some Lian)

Jayr*ys and Slade apologists dni,we don't do ped0 shit here unless it's condemming it

Jason and Roy are trans like Dick but in the opposite direction-That is to say,transmasc instead of transfem.Jason's egg cracked so early that he dosen't even remember not presenting as a boy and Roy's gender realization came shortly after Dick's thanks to her telling him about it and publicly coming out as a trans girl sidekick

Also all autistic!!Tism4Tism4Tism <3 Dick and Roy were a huge help in Jason embracing his autism and it absolutely shows in their interactions that none of them are allistic(this is a compliment and praise ofc)

Since Jason canonically respects women way more than he does men and older sisters and younger brothers tend to get along the best-speaking from experience bee tee dubs,him and Dick are super close.He seeks her out all the time as soon as they meet for the first time so she returns the favor and that leads to them becoming one of eachother's best friend's in addition to being adoptive siblings.They tell eachother everything and anything(without crossing any boundries)and she's his favorite hero even after he becomes Red Hood and demands respect towards her unless it's lighthearted teasing and she takes care of him by doing stuff like making sure he's well-rested and helping him with school and his hangouts with her lead to the other Titans viewing him as a little brother too

Dickroy is very much a thing.Like EVERYONE and i do mean EVERYONE knows they're in love before they do.They have that 'bickers like an old married couple' vibe yet somehow also the 'sickeningly sweethearts' one too.It's extremely infuriating and absolutely hilarious to watch and it took them until their 20s to get together.Their banter becomes way softer after that and by then the bite to it is more like a nibble and Dick was Lian's stepmom before Ntt even ended lbr.Roy's a huge flirt and it works on Dick very easily because she's easily flustered over him ever since her love epiphany and he's smug as fuck over it.Don't let that make you think he's not a malewife though,he is WHIPPED and you can catch him blushing and giggling and kicking his feet over her and doing whatever she wants him to literally any time of day

Jason used to think Roy was the coolest ever even if they weren't that close yet.Then Roy started dating his big sister and his Arsenal poster was violently shredded off his wall with his hands and insistences of 'You can do better!!!' were given to her.Dick was flabbergasted at his attitude change and Roy thought it was literally the funniest shit and lorded it against him whenever he could.Bruce also stopped liking him after their relathionship became official but he settled for glares and curt sentences

Jason used to get payed by Oliver to babysit Lian and they got along but after he came back as Red Hood,she just thinks of him as her lame uncle and tbh compared to her when she grows up,yeah he is muy uncool

Roy was the one to give Jason his first t-shot

Jason has extremely fond memories of being driven in the backseat of Dick's car to get McSupers together and her watching him,Eddie and Lian in the play section and ordering different things so they could share meals

If you make this one weird I'll Fucking Kill You but Jason had a habit of burying his face in Dick's chest for comfort,both because chests are just soft and warm and in times of emotional distress(I used to do this with my mom when i was shorter than her + Casual and nonsexual intimacy is very much encouraged in latino cultures,especially between younger boys and their older female family members so i feel it's fitting)

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jomarchswritingjacket · 3 months

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credit to the original post:

anyway we love a girlboss and malewife now don’t we

#tangled #new dream #hadestown #orpheus x eurydice #pride and prejudice #elizabeth x darcy #anne with an e #shirbert #bridgerton #kanthony #princess and the frog #tiana x naveen #much ado about nothing #beatrice x benedick #polls #girlboss x malewife

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deus-lapidis · 2 years

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Modern boyfriend hcs: Valentine’s day edition (writing trade)

Characters: Kaeya, Childe x fem!reader

Genre: fluff

A/N: this was my writing trade for @/rulaineyu 's birthday and Valentine’s day!!

This is a repost! Here's a short explanation why

Childe:

He goes all out for Valentine’s day and when it’s your birthday as well, how can he not go those great lengths to show you his love?

His malewife levels are quite high, so you can expect a home cooked breakfast in bed early in the morning. Maybe heart shaped pancakes with fruit and chocolate sauce? Or waffles with hand whipped cream? Maybe fried eggs with homemade condiments and fresh bread, if you were to prefer something hearty. Whatever you wish for he will grant you on your sweet day!

So he wiggles back into the blankets with you after peeling of his apron to share some nice breakfast in bed. He put so much effort into it trying to make small animals out of various foods and shaping hearts.

He’d totally feed you tbh

So when you finish up, he decided to let you relish in his warmth for about whole ten minutes before he ultimately just pulled you out of bed to “make the most out of your special day!”

Will absolutely pamper you, definitely forced you beforehand to take a break for the whole day and just spend it with him.

He also bought you new clothes for today’s date, but it’s really up to you whether you’re gonna wear them or wear something of your preference!!

So he’ll go to a theme park with you and if you wanna go on rides, he’ll definitely accompany you(has a blast on big rollercoasters). Will buy fun snacks for you two to share and totally did not choke on a churro no no no—

He won you a cute plush and some plastic roses and peacocked so much that you eventually just stuffed the left over churro into his face <3

He will pout a little, but the longer you two hold eye contact the less serious you can stay, so you just end up bursting into a giggle fit, grinning goofily at each other.

Lastly you two got home again to rest up together and he’ll definitely indulge in some affections as soon as you hit the mattress. You can feel his chest rumbling when he pulled you on top of him to snuggle you to sleep.

Kaeya:

This man is poetic in a very strange way, he will absolutely go the sappy cliché romance route, but he’ll be ten thousand times more extra. When I tell you extra, I mean extra. Especially when it’s your birthday as well!!

So while you were sleeping, he’d stumbled out of bed to fetch you some fancy strawberry cake to greet you when you get up and he prepares the pretty bouquet he bought the previous day.

Banned you from trying to work for your social medias for the day and just wants you to celebrate yourself and the day of love. He knows you enjoy it all, but he really really wants you to have a break from writing, filming and wushu for the day.

Would also feed you (with a spork) while still not wearing a proper shirt mind you (yes i had to include that bc it’s very Kaeya), his nose scrunching up at how cute you look.

He kinda planned a fancy outing for the day, taking you to a beautiful botanical garden to take some nice pictures with beautiful flowers of his beautiful flower :)

He holds your hand the whole time, swinging them back and forth slightly while you two visit the different greenhouses.

You both just look like such a charismatic couple because you just absolutely look adorable and he looks like bitchy pretty boy with sunglasses of a toddler while also making it all look good.

Hands down would flirt with you through cheesy flower names(refuses to call them puns because he’s too sleek)

You two got a bee plush in the souvenir shop as well for it to live on your shared bed hehe

bUT ADDITIONALLY, he made you change once more, because he made reservations at some very high end, glamorous restaurant, ‘cause he just want to treat you to some really nice food and a lovely experience!!

So in the end you’re both too full to really do anything other than laze around at home in bed again. Cuddles becoming the primary activity for the rest of the night, lazy kisses exchanged while you joke about how good the food was and how snooty the people were.

#kaeya fluff #childe fluff #kaeya x reader #childe x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #illunis’ scribbles

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stupid-lemon-eater · 2 years

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Okay, I can’t take it any more, I give in. Please explain Guardian to me. I’ve tried looking at the Wikipedia page but it provided no answers. All I can tell is that there are these two guys, and one is a police officer and the other a university professor but they’re both also magical immortals or something? And maybe one of them is the eponymous guardian of the other? If that’s the case, I totally can’t tell which is which. Please help, every day I see gifsets and each one leaves me more confused than the last. I thought The Untamed was bad, but this…

ehehehehe :D

we're gonna need a readmore for this lol

guardian was based on a bl book and was obviously censored - i'll provide an explanation of the show rather than the book, but pls know the most significant censoring (other than the obvious) was the change of everything from ghosts, demons, etc to aliens

you get this big animated infodump at the beginning with no warning and it's glorious

for backstory, there's three races on haixing - the haixingians (effectively humans), the yashou (alien race #1, can transform into plants or animals depending on type [main animals are snakes and crows, with one noticeable exception in my beloved catboy da qing]), and the dixingren (alien race #2, can have basically any powers that you want for plot related purposes, have to remain underground due to a treaty that was written 10,000 years ago)

zhao yunlan (the one with the facial hair) is the chief of the special investigations division (sid), which is kinda like torchwood but less and also more competent? depends on how you look at it. he's the titular guardian, because he's in charge of keeping haixing safe by catching the dixing criminals who come to the surface (in the book he also gets a cool whip which is called the guardian order - at one point he mentions that when he was given it he thought he was gonna be the first male sailor moon, bless him). smart and smartass. likes being one step ahead of you without you knowing. permanently exasperated with existence. in absolute love with shen wei.

shen wei (the one with the eyes, you know the one) is hei pao shi, or the black cloaked envoy - he's the dixingian envoy also tasked with ensuring all dixingren who unlawfully cross into haixing are punished back in dixing. university professor who teaches biology. worst liar in the entire world. wears sleeve garters and an ass chain to kill me personally. absolutely devoted to zhao yunlan.

they will send you absolutely insane and you will thank them for it. they're on levels of eye contact never before seen. together they Are the gaslight/gatekeep/girlboss mansplain/manipulate/malewife couple of your dreams/nightmares.

shen wei has been around for the aforementioned 10,000 years - zhao yunlan is his own special case ;)

there are 7 members of the sid and they will all send you various levels of feral

da qing - aforementioned beloved cat boy. zhao yunlan's cat but also brother but also father but also son. best dynamic. they ran out of budget to be able to have him transform into his cat form like 5 episodes in (their budget got majorly cut partway through), so instead it's just a guy in overalls acting like a cat. i lvoe him.

zhu hong - a snake yashou. my absolute wife. has amazing fashion.

lin jing - resident scientist. stresses himself out a lot. makes me laugh. still stumble over saying jin ling when referring to him

wang zheng - ghost lady! she's very sweet. her backstory is wack lol

sang zan - ghost lady's ghost husband. part of the wack backstory. sid's illiterate librarian <3

xiao guo - baby boy. baby. the babiest of boys you will ever see. precious little beanpole. genuinely the sweetest character you'll ever see in your life. levels of earnestness you wouldn't expect someone to pull off, but he absolutely does.

chu shuzhi - dixingren. has magical strings and a magical puppet. you can pinpoint the moment he falls in love with xiao guo down to the millisecond, and i screamed when i watched it.

throughout the plot they're tasked with collecting the four hallows, holy tools that have a lot of power, because the resident Big Bad (and their minions) want them to take over the world and so on and so forth (they're fun and dumb)

this show will tear your heart out and you will thank it, and then you will rewatch it while sobbing the whole way through because gahhh!

if you want to watch it, the show has unfortunately been taken off youtube, however you can watch it here or download it with subs here :D pls note that the theme song is an absolute banger and you will scream-sing along to it for most of the show

if anyone who reads this thinks i've missed anything important without spoilers, pls add it on!

tldr: "guardian is about making u insane in the best way" - mirf

#guardian #poorpoorpitifulme #this made my day

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malewife-swag-competition · 8 months

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round 1: Macbeth (Macbeth) vs Hero (Omori)

Macbeth (Macbeth): manipulate, mansplain, malewife, "he has about 4 existential crises and lets his gaslight gatekeep girlboss wife do all the work so. no clue whether he fits the trifecta but i think so????"

Hero (Omori): mansplain, malewife, "he cooks, he gives malewife energy, and his gf (ex because she’s dead) is a girlboss" "his man is (was) absolutely WHIPPED for his gf. he can cook. she flustered the hell out of him regularly. her death fucked him up so bad that he went to med school. mansplains the most random shit. specifically described as charming. whacks enemies over the head with a spatula like a doofus. also bottom energy"

i went INSANE when i saw macbeth had been submitted to this. absolutely crazy and i love it, op you are so right (i love this lil omori guy too tho, dw guys no favoritism here)

#round 1 #poll bracket #tournament poll #malewife #malewife swag competition #macbeth #shakespeare #hero #hero omori #omori

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vivithefolle · 2 years

Note

Whenever I voice my interpretation of Ron being bi, there's always someone in the comments who's like, "But that's stereotypical, just because he's soft doesn't necessarily mean he's not straight", and while I genuinely agree with the general idea of this, I just can't imagine Ron being grossed out if (or when) Harry confesses his undying love for him. What do you say about this argument?

"But that's stereotypical, just because he's soft doesn't necessarily mean he's not straight"

No yeah ok that's valid, absolutely.

Or rather. It WOULD be valid.

If we were talking about any character other than Ron.

People COMPLETELY refuse to acknowledge his soft side.

Even among Romione shippers, you've got all the "oooh sex god dom Ron making Hermione moan and whimper cuz he SO virile and super buff manly man ;)" and that makes me go akkdjzkfzfhjkflfhfhonononononono but yeah ok whatever.

In this godforsaken fandom everyone is SO fucking intent on claiming that Ron is "the token straight :)))" and I'm like, Hermione's (more like HETmione amirite) right here my dudes.

It's all because this stupidass fandom wants Ron to be lesser.

Supporting LGBT identities is great, so Ron MUST be the only straight among his group of friends and be mocked for it because the books have taught us that anything Ron does must be mocked or shut down. That Ron is "the average one". That Ron is "mediocre", the "not special" one...

In this fandom, Ron is forced into this role of "big dumb boy". Written to be "whipped into shape" by Super Goddess Feminist Hermione Granger who is SUCH a role model and empowering and has SUCH compassion for everyone (except for Ron cuz lol Ron's not worthy of compassion, he's just a boy).

So, whether Ron's bisexual or not, it's really just to do with his IMAGE.

This warped ugly image fandom has developed of him, of a stupid dumb boy that's just so basic masculine with sports and shit and needs Enlightened Hermione to teach him to not be a mean boy anymore :))) is TOTAL UTTER BULLSHIT AND I FUCKING HATE IT.

So go. Go and spread the word. Talk about how Ron Weasley is a total softie and an adorable malewife who WILL punch a bitch and swear like a sailor before offering his kids' friends cookies. Make it clear that if Malfoy ever got out of a fight with Ron alive it was only because Ron was being restrained. Tell the world that Ron is a gentle giant that is mindful of his strength and would NEVER use it to harm anyone he loves. TELL THEM ALL

#vivi answers #ron weasley #ron weasley defence squad #ron weasley defense squad #harry potter #hermione granger #romione #writing #bisexuality #sexuality headcanons #lgbt #malewife

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praxieserver · 1 year

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Ummm kyndy :] for the ship thing

Ship It!

i dont think abt it much but i do like it!!

1 + 2) this was originally just the answer for question 1 but i felt like this could constitute for question 2 as welll

there wasnt anything that "made" me ship it per se i just saw it was a ship and was like "oh thats nice"

idk like,, girlboss x boyboss its good food!! i think tbh. men being balls to the walls whipped for women is one of the biggest ways i enjoy m/f ships. kyndy isnt even strictly m/f actually bc wendy genderfluid king!!! i think kyle being whipped for people he likes just give me the giggles the teehees

like!!! give me kyndy with kyle going "you. you are my absolute academic rival. like we are on good-ish terms but if you beat me one too many times i will blow up the school." to "🥺🥺🥺 yes ma'am?". like. imagining kyle being so headstrong and confident and top 1 in the class and kicking ass and then turning into a glorified pet cat when wendy's around is really very good actually. really very awesome. i feel like wendy's development would be thinking of kyle as just rivals to "*?*?!!$&*!*??##?!who's mans is this. bc he's mine now. bye."

kyle's in the nurse bc he was in a fight and he's like covered in bruises and cuts and looking generally intimidating trying to patch himself up and wendy comes to help he's just like "yeah it rlly hurts can u kiss it better *bats eyelashes" pretty please 🥺🥺🥺" i also feel like wendy would really be obsessed with kyle suddenly having his body possessed by cat but tries to keep cool abt it bc she thinks her thoughts abt him like that are a little too deranged. they kinda are tbh

also the drama with stan probably has good angst potential. i feel like kyle kind of feels bad bc that's his sbf's ex but also he really does love wendy and he doesn't really know what to do and this just goes on and on and creates a lot of emotional turmoil and stress in his head until one day shit breaks loose wendy and stan fight and kyle just kind of explodes right there he's crying and screaming etc. etc. and this kind of prompts all three of them to talk abt the whole situation reconciliation yada yada kiss kiss hug hug this answer is getting out of hand

3) Unpopular opinions on the ship

wendy girlbosses so hard she turns kyle into a malewife. i'm not actually sure if that's an unpopular opinion but there it is.

#ask games #mail #south park #sp kyndy #kyndy

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thejostenator · 1 year

Text

Golden Boy Orange: Chapter Five

Holy shit, I can't believe it's been so long since the last chapter of this bad boy!

For those of you who don’t know, this is my project to tell AFTG from Matt’s perspective, and this chapter is almost entirely fully original scenes (fun fun fun)! If you haven’t read the first four chapters (or if you need a refresh since it's been aeons since my last update) you can read them on Tumblr, or on Ao3.

Tagging those I know were interested last time (@youhaveahomeinmyheart, @pipebomb-malewife, @accal1a, @sickbunsbro, @tntwme, @shayebutterrrr & @stay-because-now-you-have-a-home) but if you want to be added (or removed) to (or from) the tag list, just let me know!

Wednesday, June 12th:

Wednesdays, Matt decided, were the worst days of the week.

He was aware this was a somewhat controversial train of thought (see: the existence of Mondays), but at least on Mondays Andrew was there to keep Seth at bay. On Wednesdays, Andrew left practice early to grace their therapist, Bee, with his loveable presence, and as soon as he was gone, metaphorical shit hit the metaphorical fan.

Kevin watched the door swing closed as the Monster left, and waited a beat to let it settle.

"Right," he said bluntly. "Renee, we'll switch you out for Andrew. Matt, if you could move-"

Seth cracked his knuckles loudly, stretching his palms out in front of him, and let out an overlarge yawn, cutting Kevin off mid-instruction.

Kevin raised a single eyebrow. "You have an issue?"

"Yeah, and his name's Kevin fucking Day," Seth answered. "Fuck you think you're playing at, cripple?"

Kevin stepped closer to Seth, atmosphere electric. "Excuse me?"

"You're not the captain, stop trying to tell us what to fucking do."

"I'm from the Ravens. Who, may I remind you, we are going to face in-"

"Fuck. Right. Off." Seth spat.

"Guys," Dan thundered. "Drop it. Both of you."

"If you want to do nothing and get absolutely destroyed," Kevin said through gritted teeth, "go ahead. Be my guest. Its not like the team will make it past the first elimination with him in it anyway."

Seth swung, hitting Kevin with a punch that sent his head jerking to one side while he was still looking at Dan. Low blow. Not undeserved, but still low.

Kevin whipped around, dodging Seth's next punch, and thrust his racquet in the direction of his ribs. All the ways that the situation could go violently, dangerously wrong flashed before Matt’s eyes, and he burst forwards, grabbing Kevin’s racquet from his hands and flinging it away.

It skittered across the floor, scraping the sleek surface, and Kevin seemed to blink back into focus.

“Don’t touch my racquet,” he snapped.

“If you cared about it that much,” Matt shot back, flexing his fingers, “you wouldn’t be using it as a weapon.”

“You hear that, Day?” Seth jeered. “Fucking good-for-nothing cripple.”

Matt moved on instinct alone, putting himself right between Kevin and Seth, grappling them both apart with his bare hands.

“Woah,” he grunted, pushing them both back, then echoing Dan's words, “drop it, both of you!”

Glowering, the two of them backed off in opposite directions.

“Shit, man,” Matt sighed, rubbing at his arms—there was no way he was getting out of that skirmish free of bruises, “I shouldn’t have to offer myself up as a meat shield to get you two to just stop fucking fighting!”

“Now, are you two going to hug and make up?” Dan asked coolly.

“Don’t patronize me,” Kevin scoffed, at the same time as Seth spat out: “I’m not a fucking child, Wilds.”

“Then don’t act like one.” Dan snapped her fingers. “Back to practice.”

Matt stayed rooted in place as the sounds of practice resuming trickled in around him—he got the unnerving feeling that someone was staring at him. When he turned around, it was to find himself in the midst of Neil’s dark gaze. Their new striker watched him, and Matt couldn’t help but shiver at whatever he saw in his eyes.

Saturday, June 16th:

The first thought Matt had was that he didn’t remember setting an alarm. Groaning, he rolled over and fumbled for his violently buzzing phone. Rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand, he squinted at the glowing screen. It was hard to believe it was actually his phone he was holding and not the sun, considering the light streaming from it.

The time read 9:48AM, and he was getting a call from an unknown number.

If only to yell at whoever was calling him for having the gall to do it so early, Matt answered.

“Who’s this?” Matt murmured. It came out pretty much unintelligible. “Why’re you calling so early?”

“Matt, it’s Neil,” came a tinny voice, hoarse and drawn, barely more than a whisper. Like he’d lost his voice screaming, or just been winded. “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I’m up,” Matt said, fighting back a yawn as he sat up in bed. “Where’ve you been? I didn’t hear you come back last night.”

“I’m in Columbia with Andrew.”

“You’re—” Matt was awake in an instant. “What?”

He burst up from bed, letting the sheets fly in every which direction, and scrambled for the door to his room. He couldn’t help the images flashing through his mind, flickers of memories from when Andrew took him to Columbia. Flashing neon lights, bass so loud the floor beneath him pulsed, and pain. So, so much pain.

“Jesus, Neil, what the hell did you do that for? Did he—” He couldn’t even stomach asking the question. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” came Neil’s simple reply. Something in his tone didn’t ring true.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Matt ground out, and he meant it. He really did.

“What’s all the fuss about?” Dan asked, groggily rubbing her eyes from where she had passed out on Matt’s couch. “What’s happening? Is it Neil?”

“He’s in Columbia,” Matt answered, angling the phone away from his ear.

Dan rocketed up from the couch, half-staggering, and leant against the back for support. “Jesus Christ.”

The doubt was worming its way back into Matt’s mind. Neil really hadn’t sounded truthful when he said he was fine.

“Seriously,” he pressed, speaking into the phone again, “are you okay?”

"I’m fine,” Neil repeated, exasperated this time, “but I need a favour.”

Matt nodded, even though he knew Neil couldn’t see him.

“I think Andrew’s going to come looking for something of mine today,” Neil continued. “If I’m not there, can you keep him out of our room? I’ll owe you one.”

Matt could barely believe his own ears. “You won’t owe me anything,” he replied slowly. “Didn’t I tell you I’m good for it?”

“Thank you,” came Neil’s tinny reply. There seemed to be genuine relief in his voice.

Matt decided in that instant that he wouldn’t just fight the Monsters for Neil. He would do anything.

Matt spent most of the day before the Monster’s return just sitting on the single, dirt-green bench in the campus car park, just waiting for Neil to come back. Renee came out with a hot chocolate at one point, and then she stuck around to give him some company.

“You know that, whatever they did, it was something they needed to do?” Renee asked softly.

Matt’s grip tightened on the metal ridge of the bench. He refused to look at her. “Neil posed no threat to them,” he gritted out.

From the corner of his eye, Renee shrugged serenely. “We don’t know that.”

“Yes we do,” Matt spat out, eyes staring dead ahead. Neil’s gaze earlier flashed through his mind, but he dismissed the thought. Neil was innocent as a man could be, dark gaze or no.

Renee paused, opening her mouth to say something, then seemingly thinking better of it. She went back inside without another word.

Matt didn’t turn around to watch as she left. If there was one thing Renee was good at, it was reading the room. She didn’t pick sides. It was her thing. But she also knew that, one way or another, she’d have to now.

When the Monsters arrived, Neil wasn’t with them.

“Come on, my dear Matthew, Mattathias, Mattholomew,” Andrew said slowly, head tilted to one side, manic grin lighting up his face. “We’ve known each other for so long.”

“Then you should know by now I’m not going to let you in,” Matt said coldly, arms crossed over his chest just to stop him from reaching out and choking Andrew on the spot. There was no way in hell he was letting him through the door.

“This is cruelty,” Andrew responded, hand splayed out over his chest. He leaned forwards conspiratorially, voice lowering. “If I were you, I’d spare everyone all the fuss and just let me in. Neil asked me to collect something for him, and I am only too happy to oblige.”

“Since you’re apparently so close now,” Matt hissed, “maybe you can tell me where he is.”

Andrew dismissed the question with an airy wave of his hand. “Out and about.”

Matt snorted. “Get your ass out of here, Minyard.”

Andrew twitched. “It sure would be a shame if all the shots I deflect in practice tomorrow just happen to rocket towards your ankles, wouldn’t it? You might break something.”

“Like you could be bothered to raise an arm in practice,” Dan snorted from behind Matt.

“With the right motivation,” Andrew replied slyly. “And Matt is being very motivating right now? O Captain, my Captain, perhaps you could—”

“If I’d have known this was all it took to motivate you, I would have done it long ago,” Dan replied. “You’re not getting any sympathy from me, monster.”

“Oh, you wound me,” Andrew said. “But it's your loss, really, it is.”

“Andrew,” came Renee’s sweet voice as she appeared behind him. “Hello.”

Matt whipped his head up to face her, and they just stared at each other for a beat, standing on opposite sides of Andrew. Matt glared, and Renee stared back at him coolly.

Something indescribable flashed in her eyes.

“Renee,” Andrew grinned. “You remembered my name. I’m honoured. Now, if you would be so kind as to get these two to just let me in, for I am but a weary traveller who—”

“Actually,” she said gently, “I think it would be best if you went back to your own dorm.”

Everyone froze. Renee had chosen her side.

“Oh,” Andrew said. It was as if the smile had been struck clean from his face. “Oh, this is different.”

“It is different, Andrew,” Renee said. “Thank you for understanding.”

Andrew looked her up and down like he was seeing her in a new light. Matt couldn’t help but feel like he was doing the same.

“We’re going to talk about this later,” Andrew said.

“I hope so,” came Renee’s serene reply, and she watched calmly as Andrew turned and left.

Matt was left lost for words

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cloysterbell · 2 years

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I have never watched Breaking Bad. I have never watched Better Call Saul. But by god I am so invested in Jimmy and Kim thanks to your posts on my dash. Like I'm devastated over blorbos that I actually know like nothing about. Oh my god.

Here's all you really need to know: Kim is a seemingly normal, extremely competent and take no shit lawyer who turns out to be absolutely fucked up, meanwhile Jimmy is a malewife sadboy who desperately craves his brother’s validation and thinks Kim's the hottest thing since sliced bread. Together they decide that hey you know what’d be fun, destroying our ex-boss’s life and reputation because he was a little bit mean to Jimmy, which they do and boy does it make them incredibly horny for each other. Unfortunately, when their actions inevitably have consequences, Kim breaks up with Jimmy and sends him spiraling into his Saul persona because he doesn’t know how to cope with the grief while Kim moves to Florida and has to suffer a fate worth than death aka making deviled eggs with Miracle Whip instead of regular mayo

#questionbell #anonymous #look i'm just as surprised as you are that funnyman lawyer saul goodman is actually one of the most heartbreaking characters on television

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dinosaurtsukki · 2 years

Text

HAIKYUU!! MALEWIFE HEADCANONS

feat. tsukishima, suna, sakusa, and iwaizumi

a/n: i've had a thing for malewives for the past few weeks and just let me write about tsukishima wearing an apron okay

☆.｡.:* TSUKISHIMA KEI

you guys already know i'm whipped for this man on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level

but just imagining him as a malewife really hits different

he's not exactly born as a malewife esp since i can imagine his mom and akiteru doing more of the chores at home

he's not great at chores either. like, he knows how to wash dishes but always forgets to separate the coloreds from the whites when he does laundry

but in the event that you're working longer hours at work and he has more time on his hands at home, tsukishima would absolutely step up to the job

he doesn't want to give you a hard time and if it means having to learn to unclog a drain right, he'll do it

tsukishima would spend quite a bit of time looking up how-to's online and asking his mom for help (when he's truly desperate)

soon finds that he doesn't actually hate cleaning and it's quite therapeutic and relaxing for him

he's a PRO at organizing things too and quickly develops the habit of just cleaning up quickly after you or himself (picking up towels that fell or washing dishes as soon as they're in the sink)

he comes to a Realization when he's sitting at the table sorting out coupons in a binder by expiration date and product

congrats you're an official Malewife now tsukki

pretty soon he's moved on to actually baking in his spare time

this is because he keeps dropping hints at you to bring home cake while you're out at work so you eventually just go 'if you want cake so much why don't you make it???'

and he does

it takes him several tries though but he finally manages to go from using cake mix to making one out of scratch

has a gloating smile on his face as he places a perfect slice of strawberry shortcake in front of you and smirks when you take a bite

"and you said i wouldn't be able to make a cake that good."

you reward him with a pink apron that is waaay too small for him like it only stops at his mid-thigh and he's adamant that he'll never wear it

he does wear it though when you're not at home he just doesn't want to give you the satisfaction

just imagine: coming home after a long day at work to the smell of cake baking in the oven and you see tsukishima standing at the counter making whipped cream by hand and wearing that pink apron that doesn't even reach his knees

be glad he married you

also i bet he ordered those rubber oven mitts that look like dinosaur mouths

☆.｡.:* SUNA RINTAROU

whenever it's not yet volleyball season suna actually has an adequate amount of time on his hands at home and knowing how hard you work, he doesn't hesitate to take on the household chores for you

his twitter bio actually says 'part-time professional volleyball player, part-time malewife'

he has an emotional bond with the roomba that cleans the floors in your house. during cleaning day, suna would strap his phone to the roomba to play music

at one point he tried to make one of those refrigerator organizing tiktoks but having to hold his phone while placing the eggs in their container was just not optimal and he gave up

the one thing that gets him up in the morning is the prospect of making you lunch and i'm not saying he's obsessed with making your bento look aesthetic but... he is

he's taken five photos of your bento already and he STILL hasn't wrapped it up and you're standing by the door five minutes before your train is scheduled to leave impatiently tapping your foot

you forgive him though when it's lunch break and you're enjoying the breaded pork cutlets that malewife suna made for you

that is until he sends you a text asking if you could take pictures of your lunch for him to post on instagram

but being the famous pro-volleyball player that he is, the malewife side of his instagram comes under scrutiny by some of his followers (mostly men)

one of suna's lunchbox photos got a comment from a guy saying 'lol i bet ur wife earns more than u' thinking that it would upset him

suna responds by posting a screenshot of the comment beside a selfie of the two of you with him wearing the frilliest pink apron he could find at the department store and you kissing his cheek

the caption is "i bet your wife wishes you were me"

nice kill suna

this guy is pretty sneaky though and sometimes when you're rushing off to work, he'll sneak your umbrella out of your bag when he knows its gonna rain later in the day

and then when you call him saying that you 'forgot' your umbrella, suna is quick to offer going to where you work to pick you up

as much as he doesn't mind staying at home, he also misses you a lot and won't miss out on the opportunity to share an umbrella with you while walking home

☆.｡.:* SAKUSA KIYOOMI

i am most excited about this one ngl

sakusa was the kind of kid who grew up not completely bothered by doing chores (aka, a parent's dream). he always had the cleanest bedroom among his friends also those clean as you go practices he learned in kindergarten really stuck with him

when the two of you started living together it was honestly such a relief for you that he was the kind of guy who would do chores without complaining unlike the ones from your previous relationships

in fact he's actually a bit nitpicky when it's you doing the cleaning but the way sakusa automatically washes the dishes is hot so no complaints from you

during the off-season, like suna, sakusa uses the time to just chill and help out around the house especially since you tend to be busy with your job

he ends up being a regular at the nearby market and a lot of the shop-owners there can easily recognize his curly hair and face mask

since sakusa regularly goes to the same places when he runs his errands, he ends up drawing the attention of the other housewives from your neighborhood

an unlikely friendship is formed when this 6'2" pro volleyball player from the MSBY black jackals realizes that he's out of fabric softener and kindly asks a group of middle-aged housewives doing their laundry together if they can spare some

they've always been curious about sakusa and end up talking with him while they're all waiting for their laundry

immediately after he says 'my wife is busy so i just took over the chores at home', these ladies have adopted him into their group

it goes from doing laundry on thursdays to going grocery shopping together. at one point they even join a morning yoga class

the ladies are so impressed watching sakusa to do all the hardest poses. they even affectionately call him 'sakusa-chan'

sakusa isn't really a fan of gossip but whenever his new friends end up talking together he just can't help but Listen and now he's invested into the latest news regarding chiyo-san's no-good husband

☆.｡.:* IWAIZUMI HAJIME

this Man. a malewife through and through

it started out with him assuming the role of the Responsible One among his friends, especially whenever they have training camps

once, their club manager was home sick and there was no one else to make dinner so iwa just stepped up because how hard could it be?

his teammates are genuinely surprised at how good the curry he made is and now iwa's the designated cook every time they have training camps

when you guys started dating he'd often invite you over to his place to cook dinner for you (even more so if you had a college kid diet bf!iwa would make sure you're eating healthy)

even on days when he's working hard, he tries to come home early enough to make dinner for you guys as well as buying groceries and doing the laundry and watering the garden

we stan a multi-tasker

something he's always been really good at though is sewing and fixing clothes because he actually paid attention in home economics class

whenever you lose a button on your jacket or get a hole in your jeans, iwa's already offering his hand out and grabbing his sewing kit that's always in his bag

he actually embroidered a little heart on the inside of one of your shirt hems when he was fixing it but if you point it out he'll just be embarrassed

at one point iwa definitely picks up crocheting or knitting as a hobby and it helps him pass the time during long volleyball games

when you watch a volleyball game on television sometimes you'll catch a glimpse of iwa sitting behind the players on a bench knitting a multi-colored scarf in deep concentration

he becomes quite well-known for it and one time a tv interviewer finally decides to ask iwa about it and he just blushes and goes 'its for my wife'

cue a resounding 'awwww' from everyone watching

another of his little malewife tendencies is to be kind of addicted to home shopping network and just any gadget that can be used at home

if you happen to come home early you'll catch your husband sitting on the couch bent forward and intently watching an ad for a spinning mop

"honey, it's a spinning superdry mop!!" "we already have a mop!!"

he gets his revenge by explicitly asking for that mop for his birthday

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist):

@laure-chan @kirakirasaku @atsumusdomain @goodfoodxoxoxo @kei-ya @guardianangelswings @definitely-yours @loisuke @whootwhoot @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs @procrastination-lady @miyakiyo0mi @duhsies @alittlesimp @shybooks2 @sage-brick @11nolongerhuman

#haikyuu!!#hq #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #suna rintarou #suna rintarou x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu!! fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! malewives #hq malewives #haikyuu!! headcanons #hq headcanons

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