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bonny-kookoo · 3 years

Text

Under Your Skin (JJK x Reader) | 🔞

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Goth/Punk!Jeon Jungkook x Secretary!Shy!Reader

Genre: Tattoo artist!AU, Badboy x Sweetgirl AU, Idk what else

Tags/Warnings: Ultimate goodboy Kook, He looks grr but is actually sweet, shy reader, smol reader, Kookers is WHIPPED, Also a tease, Dom!Jungkook because how could I not, Sub!Reader, Babygirl!Reader, Its not heavy on the whole ddlg-stuff but yeah they be having some vibes y'know, don't come @ me don't I'm not forcing you to read it lol, anyways moving on, because smut, yes I mean it's my content, and yall nasty admit it, slight hair pulling, manhandling also only a little, oral (f & m receiving), praising, mentions of emotional and physical insecurities, but Kook be supportive so we good, back to the nasty, body worship yes pls, biting, fingering, because why not, protected sex because we keep it clean in this household, light-hearted sex, kook being a romantic goof, yeah I think thats it?

Summary: Jungkook looks like absolute trouble; like one wrong look could set him off, and turn him into an absolute murderer. But oh well, ever heard the phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover'?

A/N: you might have noticed me only putting one emoji up top. I have decided to from now on only mark my adult fics with emojis (which is basically almost every single one lets be real). Also; stop reading my fucking fics if any of the tagged/warned things make you uncomfortable. I'm tired of everyone clowning in my inbox telling me how disgusting ddlg/smut content is. You can't even tell me you 'read it by accident' because that's why I'm always putting the cut underneath my fics =) so pls go finish preschool and then we can maybe shake hands. Maybe not. Covid and all. Yeah.

On the outside, Jeon Jungkook seems like absolute trouble.

He's working at a tattoo and piercing studio, dresses in all black, clattering chains and heavy boots always alerting everyone around of his presence. His long black hair is never truly tamed, his nails painted black, and his face expressionless most of the time. He's a talented artist and well trained piercer, always visiting conventions to keep up with the newest trends, styles, and equipment there is. He takes his job seriously- and is proud of it, knowing that he had proven his family wrong by now. They had been worried about him; especially his mother had scolded him that he shouldn't throw his time away trying to make it in a world of art many had already failed. But last year, he had finally invited them over to his rather nice apartment, showing them that he was living a good life, with nothing to really worry about.

Jungkook had made it.

Well, not quite.

Because as of currently, Jungkook had a new mission, a new goal.

"Ah, Jungkook!" You say, eyes sparkling as you smile at him when he enters the shop he works at. You had recently started to work there as well, since Taehyung was absolute shit at keeping files in order and track of schedules. You hadn't applied for the job specifically, that's at least what his coworker had told him- he had known you prior already, and was aware that you had wanted a change these days.

And Jungkook had been painfully crushing on you ever since you started.

"Your schedule for the week is already here- I uhm.. didn't put it on your desk cause, I didn't want to intrude your space and all.." You say, giving him a small black booklet where you always noted down his appointments. He appreciated it a lot- knowing how much of a hassle it could be to move dates back and forth just to somehow make it fit. You always made sure that he had enough time in between multiple daily pieces in case something took longer or less so you could make sure to be able to move things accordingly. You didn't want him to get overworked, you had said. He had smiled.

"Thanks- and you can go inside, no problem." He says, and you nod. "I know you don't make a mess, like someone else here." He says, hinting at Namjoon, who was known to be quite clumsy- yet a mastermind when it came to designing pieces he struggled with. Jungkook stayed at your front desk for a bit, making you tilt your head a bit, as you tried not to stare. He always took so much care of himself, you would have had to be blind not to see how attractive he actually was. But then again, you didn't get your hopes up- after all, he was nice to almost everyone around. "You've never been in there, right?" He asks, and you shake your head. You haven't been in his space at all- too scared to invade his privacy and making him upset in the process. "I mean- you got time right now? I can show you around." He casually tells you, and you look at your computer screen in front of you. Everything had been filed for today- so you probably had a bit of time to spare.

"Sure." You said, taking your phone and standing up from your chair, making sure to lock the pc so no one would accidentally make a mess out of your tabs. Or worse; close them. God knows all hell would break loose.

Jungkook had to really force himself not to let out any noise as you walked next to him.

You were so tiny next to him.

He wasn't that tall to be honest- with Namjoon and Taehyung both taller than him, he knew he was average at best. And for the longest time, he'd had a thing for tall girls, all elegant and confident. He still liked their aesthetic, yes- but now that he spotted you, he could really see the appeal of having a shorter significant other.

You were so cute.

You carefully stepped inside when Jungkook lifted the curtain that was used instead of a door, surprised to see how.. organized everything was. A little.. off- some things seemed to be randomly put somewhere, but in general, it seemed like everything had their proper spot. "I like to have it like this." He comments, and you nod your head to that, finally spotting his tattoo-gun. It was made out of purple steel- polished, and changing its hue depending on how you looked at it. It was absolutely beautiful, even though you had a rather limited understanding of these things. "Was a present from Taehyung last year." Jungkook says, sitting down on his chair. "I never asked- are you inked at all?" He asks, leaning backwards as you stand there a little awkwardly. "You can sit down somewhere, don't be so tense." He chuckles, and you look around, before you sit on the stretcher across from him. You shake your head, and Jungkook isn't surprised. Your pink converse sway back and forth as you sit on the stretcher, legs too short to reach the floor anymore as you rest your hands underneath your thighs; hem of your dress revealing more of them than he can usually see.

"I don't have any tattoos yet, but I've been talking to Namjoon about it." You said, and Jungkooks saliva tastes a little bitter at that. He doesn't want to pout or give away that it's bugging him at all that you're not talking to him about it- but he fails miserably. "Namjoon actually said I should talk to you about it, since the style I want fits you best." You say, and he can't hide his smile, bunny teeth on full display as he leans forward a bit.

"You'd let me tattoo you?" He asks, and you shrug, before nodding. "What do you have in Mind?" He instantly asks, not even bothering to hide his excitement.

If only you knew that it's because of you; and not just because he's gonna be the first to ink you.

You've both agreed on a design you want, and Jungkook can't deny that he thinks it's absolutely perfect on you.

"Are you scared?" Jungkook asks you as he prepares everything, his sweater's sleeves rolled up, revealing his own body art to you, as well as some bracelets; one that you recognize as the wooden-bead bracelet you had gifted him last year for his birthday. It was weird to see him wear it.

"I.. no. Just nervous." You say. "I'm worried I might cry and make a fool out of myself." You say with a laugh, and Jungkook chuckles, placing a reassuring and warm hand on your upper arm.

"It's fine. I've seen grown man cry like kids on this stretcher before." He casually says. "Don't worry; I won't think any less of you just because of some tears." He says with a smile, and you nod, turning your head to look at his room's walls instead; covered in drawings, sketches, and pictures of finished works he was most proud of. "Do you want anything to hold onto?" He asks, as he starts to shave the skin of your thigh to make sure he can work as best as possible. He's so into his work, so concentrated on doing everything perfect, that he doesn't even take much into account that you're laying in only your panties and oversized sweater; skirt neatly placed on a chair in the corner of the room, to get it out of the way.

"It's fine" You mumble, although you really want to. So instead you curl your fingers around the fabric of your sweater- something that doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, who decides not to comment on it for now. He simply throws the one-time razor away as well as the tissues used to clean your skin, before he carefully places the tracing paper onto where he seems fit.

"I think it would look great right here." He says lowly, carefully removing the paper to reveal the lines he's gonna trace with his gun in a few minutes. "You wanna look at it again?" He asks, and you shake your head. "Alright." He says, before he gets up and walks out his room; only to return with your small squishy and round unicorn plush that's usually sitting on your desk. "To hold onto." He winks, and you chuckle at that.

Jungkook really pays attention.

"So, Taehyung has told me you're a bit younger than me." Jungkook says to start casual chit-chat, trying to help your nervousness as his tattoo-gun starts to buzz to live. "Only a Year if I remember correctly." He says, and you nod.

"Yeah.." You say, and can't hide your dissapoinment flooding your voice. Jungkook, until now, only had relationships with girls older than him. He's even said before that he just likes having someone older than him around- which made you even more nervous around him.

"You sound upset about that." He chuckles, and gently holds onto your thigh as you jump a bit when he first presses the tip of the gun down. "Sorry. I'll be gentle." He lowly tells you, and you swallow.

Not the time Y/N, not the time.

"Uhm.." You say, fingers digging into the squishy plush in your hands. "I.. there's someone I like, but he.. only likes older girls, so.." You say, and Jungkook glances at you. You're already interested in someone? He continues to trace the lines, wiping afterwards to get the excess ink and blood off. "But I mean, then again I don't think I have a chance with him anyways." You chuckle, and Jungkook can't help but shake his head. Even if you're interested in someone else, he shouldn't let you have thoughts like that.

"Highly doubt that." He says. "If he doesn't see you, he's blind." He tells you, and you giggle, glad that he's able to make you feel a bit better about everything. "I'm serious." He says, and you nod at that, watching his inked arm flex every now and then as he draws with absolute concentration; black facemask hiding half of his face. You can see the way his eyebrows furrow, eyes fixated on his work as he moves with absolute routine. "Do I know the guy?" He casually asks, before he dips the tip of his gun in the tiny pot of ink again.

You don't know what to say.

He looks at you for a second, and decides not to dig. "You don't have to tell me. Sorry if I seemed nosy; didn't mean to." He apologizes, and you shake your head to let him know its fine. It's quiet for a moment afterwards, only the buzzing of his gun and your occasional whine of pain. "Sorry; it'll hurt a bit more now since I'm getting close to your inner thigh- that's always a little more sensitive." He comments, and you really hope he doesn't pay much attention to your panties.

When you can see his eyes stick to them for a second, you really want to just disappear.

He doesn't comment on it though. What is he suppsosed to say? He really doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, and considering that you already have a crush on someone else, he doesn't want to get himself in too deep as well. He simply works away, finally finishing the thin and delicate outlines of your piece- the first step, before he will see you again for color and shading. He finally connects the last line, and doesn't think twice about what he says next.

"Good girl."

It takes a second that feels way too long for the both of you to register the words, and Jungkook quickly occupies himself with turning off his gun and cleaning up your skin and his workspace to get the awkwardness out of his room. You try to instantly stand up, but his palm holds onto your leg- silently ordering you to stay put, which you do. He rubs something over the piece, before he gently lifts your leg to wrap it. "I'll give you a bottle of lotion for it. Leave that bandage on for.. I'd say until tomorrow morning at least. Afterwards, apply the lotion everyday to help it heal properly." He lectures you with a gentle voice, before letting you sit up.

"Thanks." You say, grinning eagerly at the now hidden artwork on your leg. Jungkook chuckles.

"We're not done yet, but I'll take it." He says. "I uh.." He starts, as you jump off the stretcher and go to take on your skirt. "uhm, you up for some fast food?" He asks, a bit hurried, before he can chicken out again. And he hates himself for a moment, because you had literally told him just half an hour before that you already had interest in someone else. But maybe you were too innocent to get his innuendo, maybe you wouldn't get that he was asking you on a date-

"Like a date?" You ask, and he really wants to hit himself.

"I mean, if you want it to be?" He says, swallowing as he averts his gaze, a sight very weird. His hand runs through his hair, chain around his neck and piercings on his ears clattering against each other and making sounds as he moves, his combat boots nervously tapping the floor a little. "It doesn't have to be.. I know you're already-"

"I'd love to." You say however, now fully dressed again, as you grin with your bright sparkling eyes.

And Jungkook feels like he's won the lottery.

It's your third time laying on Jungkooks' stretcher like this- waiting for him to work on your art, finishing it today. But the energy is different.

Things are different between you two in general.

After some casual movie dates and rounds of overwatch, Jungkook had admitted to you that he had a crush. It was rushed, while he was driving, so he didn't have to look at you and instantly get hit by your reaction. But then, you had told him that you felt the same- and the two of you agreed to let things process from then on. Whatever would happen; you would let happen.

And Jungkook was starting to flirt with you.

It was a little weird to get close to him like that. While everyone seeing you two was a little taken aback- with your dresses and skirts, and colorful and almost childish personality, he seemed like the absolute opposite- quiet, all dark and dangerous while carrying your milkshake so you could put your phone away into your purse.

"Alright doll, let's finish this." He said with newfound enthusiasm, winking at you as you laughed at his demeanor.

"You seemed more excited than me!" You say, and he chuckles. "You're really desperate to have me gone?" You say in a playfully upset tone, and he simply huffs out a breath, before cockily looking at you for a second.

"That's not true." He says. "I'd just rather have you laid out somewhere else than in my studio, that's all." He casually says, and you shut your mouth at that, cheeks red as he laughs at your cute display of embarrassment. He routinely prepares your skin, before he starts his gun. "Too much?" He asks, and you know he's not talking about the pressure of his ink filled gun on your skin.

"No-" You start, and he now seriously speaks to you, voice a bit muffled through his facemask.

"Please tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable." He says. "You're not upsetting me if you tell me I'm going to far." He says, and you nod, knowing that he now needs a proper answer. Jungkook is way more attentive and romantic than people may think he is. He's a gentleman pulled out of a dictionary- careful and gentle with you, and always keen on getting to know you for you, and not for the person you like to portray yourself as. He wants to know what you like, what you don't like, what you dream of, and what you hate about yourself.

"Don't worry- I will." You say, watching him work on your skin. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums a reply to let you know he's listening. "Is it okay if I sleep?" You ask, and he chuckles.

"Didn't I tell you not to stay up for too long before I left yesterday?" He teasingly retorts back to you, and you pout at him- with no hard feelings behind it. He had left last night after eating with you for dinner at your place; and he did indeed tell you to go to sleep a little earlier since he knew you would have an early shift today, opening up the store. "I'm really tempted to say no." He says, eyes now on your skin again as he dips the tip of his gun in a pot of color. "You know, as punishment for not listening." He mumbles, and you almost don't catch it.

Almost.

"Jungkook?" Taehyung stands in his doorway, finally finding him sitting at his desk. "Oh?" He says in a surprised tone, spotting your sleeping figure on his coworkers lap- head resting against the inside of his shoulder, with your arms around his middle.

"Yeah?" Jungkook asks, not at all shy or fazed by the fact that Taehyung is looking at you. "What is it?" He asks again, as Taehyung smiles, giving the younger man his small booklet that you usually give him every morning.

"Nothing left for today." He said. "Just wanted to tell you good work and send you home." The older one explains, zipping up his own jacket. "Guess she'll be coming with you?" He asks teasingly, but Jungkook doesn't bite the bait at all.

"Yeah. Don't burn the house down while we're gone, you two. " He says, slipping the booklet into his pocket before he pats your back. "Come on doll, let's go home." He tells you, waking you up at least enough to put on your shoes and lead you out the store to his car.

He buckles your seatbelt as the engine comes alive, radio playing its tune softly in the background as he drives you home. "You awake doll?" He asks, and you nod your head, turning towards him with barely open eyes. "You haven't had anything proper to eat today, so I'll make us some ramen at my place, ok?" He asks, and you nod, before your eyebrows scrunch up. "What is it?" He chuckles, and you now grow more awake.

"Wait- but if we eat at yours then you're gonna have to drive me home late." You say, and he shrugs. "Noo, Kook, what if you crash the car because you're sleepy?" You tell him with a whine, genuinely concerned for him, as he has the audacity to laugh. "Kookie, it's not funny I swear to god-!" You say, and he apologizes.

"I mean." He starts, casually dropping what he had wanted to ask you for a couple of weeks now. "You could always just stay over." He tells you, and you look at him, meeting his gaze at the red light he stops at, his head turned towards you for a moment until the lights turn green again.

"We.. would have to stop at mine so I could get some stuff though.." You mumble, and Jungkook looks at you with newfound enthusiasm, setting his turning lights to enter a different road.

It's in a parking lot that you first unintentionally confront him with your biggest insecurities and flaws.

You've tripped over a stray stone you didn't see laying on the ground, leading you to fall onto your hands and scraping your knees open. Just like any normal human being, you dust yourself off, instantly hoping that Jungkook inside the shop hadn't seen you fail at something so basic as walking. You had carried some of the items you two had bought into the car while also returning the shopping cart while he had payed- and by the look on his face, he had definitely seen you.

He wasn't laughing, or hiding his grin, or anything alike. He looked concerned, taking his card back from the cashier before walking out the store, jogging towards you, who sat in the open trunk, ready to get laughed at. Even though somewhere deep in your mind you didn't think he would, past experiences had led to you now having that fear, no matter with whom. "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks, looking at you as he squats down to take a look at your bleeding knees. He reaches into one of the shopping bags, taking out a water bottle and a pack of tissues, before he wets it, one hand holding your leg by the backside of your knee, while the other carefully cleans the small wound. "You gotta be careful Baby." He chuckles a little- nothing like the laughter you had expected.

"I'm fine." You say, not looking up at him.

"It's okay to cry, you know?" He says, and you stay quiet, trying not to breathe too much as you desperately hold them back. "I won't laugh." He promises, deciding not to look at you as to give you a bit more space.

"People will stare though.." You quietly murmur towards him, and he finishes his job, before he goes to throw the now used tissue away in a nearby trashcan. When he returns, he's taking his jacket off, the item way too large on your form as he throws it over you, pulling the hood up as you look at him for the first time since your little accident, eyes sparkling with unshed tears when he pulls the sides of the hood towards him a little. "There." He says, a reassuring smile on his face. "Now no one can see you but me." He tells you. "And I will never, ever, laugh at you." He promises, and pulls your head against his chest, as you start to let go.

He really hates to see you cry- but he's glad that you're letting him in enough to let him see you this way.

Jungkook is frustrated.

He tries not to really show it, because he doesn't want to blow up in your face like that, but then again, you're kind of the reason he feels the way he does. Because even though he thought you both had a genuine connection, you're yet to let him touch you.

And not just hugging and holding hands.

It's not that he's impatient- its because he knows you, at one point, wanted him that way as well. But something happened, something he didn't notice, that made you take ten steps backwards from him. You seemed to be retreating, giving up, and he has no idea what he had done to make you react that way.

As far as he knows, he had done everything right.

But then he sees them; the messages sent back and forth between you and Hana, a returning customer at the shop- well known to flirt with everyone around here. Jungkook himself had actually considered hooking up with her once a year back, simply to make her shut up, but then again, he wasn't into one-night-stands. And she had never truly been his type anyways.

'Ah yeah, just re-schedule that then, I don't mind at all! Just make sure we have enough time together, since we haven't had time to catch up on things recently, if you know what I mean.' She had sent, a week ago; exactly the timeframe you had started to distance yourself. He knew he shouldn't look into it, but then again- this was his business too. He had the right to know.

'Sure? I can give you an appointment at around 4 PM then, so you'll be the last one. Would that be okay with you? Again, sorry for re-scheduling on such short notice.' You had written, and Jungkook can't decide if you had been oblivious to her implication (which was bullshit), or if you were simply too polite to call her out. But it's the next messages that make him fume.

'Again, no troubles. As I said, I only care that its Jungkookie, I don't really trust anyone else with my body that way ;). 4 PM is perfect, you guys still close at around 6 PM right? He's got skilled hands, I'm sure we don't need much more time, if you know what I mean.' she has the audacity to write.

But its your answer that makes him fume.

'Good to know.'

"Jungkook?" You say, looking at the screen, as you suddenly dash forwards, trying to shut the screen off- as if that would make any difference. But he catches your wrist with ease, holding it in his palm as he looks at you.

"Do you think I'm sleeping with her?" He asks, and you try to escape his grasp; and he lets you, staying at your workspace however as he keeps you locked in place with his gaze. "Y/N." He urges, making you look away from him.

"It's none of my business." You say, shrugging. "I.. No, it's-" You start, but he cuts you off.

"No, finish that sentence. 'No' what?" He says, and you've never heard him talk like that.

"I just.. didn't think you'd.. do that." You meekly say, murmuring it as he tilts your head gently upwards to look at him; his face now more relaxed as he softly smiles.

"That's good that you think that way." He tells you. "Because I don't do that at all." He says. "She likes to start drama all the time- was probably bitter I turned her down so much. You know what?" He suddenly says, turning towards the screen as he clicks to change the account, opening his own Inbox as he starts to write an E-Mail.

'Appointment is cancelled, be glad I'm not suing you for defamation. JK.'

"Jungkook-" You say, trying to get him not to send it- but it's already gone. "Why would you do that? Just because I misunderstood?" You whine, and he chuckles, shutting down the system as he looks at the clock, signaling that it's closing time.

"No." He says. "But because I don't want her around anyways, and this gives me a proper reason." He tells you, ruffling your hair as he looks at you. "You coming?" He asks, and you nod, taking your bag and coat before following him out the shop.

In the car, you finally speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums out a reply. "Do you.. think I'm attractive?" You ask, and he clears his throat at the unexpected question.

"I- what?" He asks, unsure what you mean.

"Just.. Namjoon said, that he thinks you.. see me as a friend only? Because I'm nothing like the girls you dated before.. If I misunderstood something here then Oh my god-" You start to ramble, and Jungkook laughs suddenly.

"You think I'm not into you?" He asks, and you shrug. "Of course I want to fuck you doll." He casually comments, and you can't help but feel your cheeks redden. "Wait- did you really think I didn't?" He asks, face showing genuine horror as he looks over at you.

"I mean.. you never really initiated anything so I thought.." You started, and he groans out.

Thank god you're staying the night.

"Looks so pretty, does it?" He hums out, palm running over the tattoo on your thigh, delicate lines and well-placed shadings complimenting the colors perfectly. "You know why I love it most?" He starts, hand suddenly gripping the flesh for a moment, before he pulls you closer on his lap by the small of your back. "Because that's mine." He says, before he leans in, placing an open mouthed kiss against your pulse. "The ink that's under your skin, the design, the idea-" He mumbles against your skin. "And the body it's drawn on." You whine at his tone, dark and low, as he urges you back and forth on his clothed thigh- your panties suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "Isn't it like that, baby?" He asks, and you nod, furiously, and he chuckles. "Hm, you seem out of breath baby.." He grins at you, like a predator.

"Jungkook.." You whine, not knowing what you're asking for.

He wordlessly moves, helping you lay down on his bed before he crawls over you, his lips instantly attached to the skin of your neck, hands helping you out of your dress wordlessly, as he can't help but let his gaze linger on your body for a moment. "I can't believe that-" He says, pulling off your overknee socks. "-you'd ever think of yourself anything less than perfect." He says, placing a gentle kiss to the colorful image now forever placed under your skin by his skilled hands. He continues to display his affection over your skin, wandering over your stomach up to your chest, where he playfully bites just above your breast. He struggles with the front of your bra for a second, unsure how to open the undergarment without breaking it, as you help a little; letting them spring free. But only for a moment.

Because in the next, he's got them in his hands, palms gently moving over them, feeling their softness as he groans. "You're so sweet." he comments, as he finally kisses your lips, smile interrupting him every now and then. "So soft." Another kiss. "So delicate." Another one. "And all mine, yeah?" He asks, and you nod, smiling as he grins back, the expression making him look so young and carefree you can't help but wonder how anyone could ever think he's a bad man.

He's anything but.

He's so careful touching you, so delicate in moving his palms over your skin, as if its the most divine thing he's ever felt. He's still smiling, as if in a trance, while he can't stop kissing you. Your hands move into his hair- way softer than you thought it would be, and he groans into your mouth at the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp.

There's no urgency in anything he does.

He slowly moves again, hands opening your legs for him as he sits back on his heels, playfully pulling you closer by the backs of your knees, making you giggle. "You sound so sweet baby." He tells you, innocently, as if he's not currently placing his hand onto your center, ring finger collecting your already leaking wetness before he spreads it, moving his thumb over your most sensitive bundle of nerves while his ring finger enters you slowly. You whine at the feeling, not enough to get you as riled up as you'd like to be. Also; this is the first time you're genuinely experiencing foreplay. You don't know what to do- and Jungkook seems to pick up on that. "You good?" He asks, and you nod.

"I.." You say, breathless as he tilts his head, smile still present on his lips. "What should I do?" You ask, as his eyes widen.

"You?" He wonders, before he stops for a moment. "Don't tell me- this is your first time?" He asks, now genuinely worried he might've gone too fast.

"No.." You admit. "But uhm.. no one's ever, like.. you know, what you're doing.." You say, and that's when it clicks for him.

What kind of guys did you date before him that never gave you any attention like this? He's upset by it, but also weirdly cheered on by that simple fact; it gives him even more reason to make sure you'll get the most out of it. "Ah, I see.." He humms out, letting another finger stretch your entrance for him. "..well, I'm not like that." He explains, before he moves, face now close to your center- and you're unsure what he's going to do. "Trust me." He says, mumbles out, before his tongue places itself flat onto your clit, licking painfully slow as you move your hands over your mouth, trying to keep your noises in. "nuh-uh baby." He scolds, free hand pulling yours away. "Let me hear you." He demands, before he places his mouth back where it was.

Your mind is completely blank at this moment, the only thing you can really concentrate on being Jungkook, working you up so quickly you feel dizzy. It's new, and it's a little weird- but it's more than anything you've ever experienced before. And it brings you towards your end so suddenly you suddenly gasp out, back arching off the mattress as you grab at the sheets below, one hand grasping for Jungkooks, who lets you ride out your high to its fullest. "So pretty." He comments after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smiling at your blissed out state.

"Kook-" You say, moving as you sit up, less shy now that your brain is still clouded by pleasure.

"Ah- you don't have to." He tells you, but you shake your head, and he lets you. He slips out of his clothes, finally bare, and you would've taken time to look at all the different pieces of art decorating his body- if it wasn't for his cock, red and ready in front of you. Usually, you would've let your insecurities and doubts get the best of you. But this was Jungkook. And you wanted to really believe that nothing you would do could ever be judged by him. So there was no hesitation as your hands reached out for him, gently moving, before you took him in, your lips wrapping themselves around his tip, before you moved downwards, fitting as much as you comfortably could. Meanwhile, Jungkook himself was steadying himself with one hand on the mattress, while the other was buried into your hair, his own head thrown back as he closed his eyes.

Of course he had fantasized about this every now and then; but he had never thought you'd actually be comfortable doing it. And even if- nothing he could've imagined would've ever compared to the real deal happening. There was something absolutely mindblowing about the way that you handled him, your sweet and pretty presence looking so divine doing such a sinful act with him. He had to pull you off by your hair, gently, because any more, and he would've been a goner. "G-Good god baby." He chuckles, pushing you a bit so you were on your back again, reaching for his bedside table to search for a condom. "I swear to god if I- HAH!" He tells you in victory, hands making quick work of opening the foil package and wrapping the safety over his length. "I swear I would've run out butt naked to buy one if I wouldn't have found this." He says with a grin, making you laugh.

"That's weird." You comment, and he chuckles, entering you slowly as to not hurt you, his breathing labored as he still kept the lighthearted energy going.

"You think?" He asks, and you nod, giggling as your eyes close, the feeling of him filling you up too good to keep them open. "Hm no." He said breathlessly. "Would've probably put on some pants maybe." He says, before he starts thrusting. "Doesn't matter if it means I'd get to fuck you." He says, and you giggle again.

"Kook!" You scold him, and he still continues to thrust into you, exhaling forcefully as he kisses your neck.

"What?" He whines high pitched as if to imitate you.

"Be serious!" You tell him, but can't help your own smile either.

"Oh, why though?" He says. "We're making love, not war baby." He whispers into your ear, and you still laugh at it.

"I can't believe you!" You complain playfully, moaning out when he suddenly thrusts with more force, obscene noises now interrupting you two as he picks up his pace, clenching his jaw.

"And-" He starts. "I can't believe how fucking good you feel." He presses out, hand now reaching between the two of you as he brings you towards an earth-shattering orgasm, making you mewl as you can feel yourself bursting. "Good girl!" He praises, watching as you squirt all over him, his own orgasm hitting him soon after as he grunts out, finally slowing down until he stills completely, his mouth attached to your neck to place gentle kisses and teasing bites near your pulse point.

"I love you." He mumbles out, and your eyes sting.

Because yeah, you love him- you absolutely do, but hearing it from him, hearing it in such an honest and warm-hearted tone, having this final proof of his own feelings towards you, makes you emotional. "Baby, why're you crying?" He chuckles out of breath, wiping your tears as you smile, and finally look at him with glossy eyes.

"Cause I love you too." You say. "So much."

And he can't help but grin at you.

You really are the sweetest thing.

You watch as Hana walks out of Taehyungs studio, arm wrapped up in clear foil as she walks towards your counter, pulling out her purse. "Taehyung agreed on 345." She says, until Taehyung yells another number out of his studio, making her eyes roll. She wasn't supposed to come back- but Taehyung had agreed to finish her piece at least. "Alright, here you go." She says, watching as you counted the money. "Does Jungkook work today?" She asks, and you nod. "I'm just gonna go say hi then. You can finish the receipt yeah?" She says overly sweet, and you're about to tell her that Jungkook doesn't want anyone entering without his permission, but he's already walking out his studio, black sweater and silver necklaces on full display as he walks towards you. "Jungkookie!" Hana exclaims, but her face drops almost chomically as she watches Jungkook walk up behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder as he looks over it onto your screen.

"Oh, looks like I'm done for the day. You need anything Hana?" He asks innocently, one hand on your desk while the other rests on your chair behind your back.

"I- just wanted to apologize for uhm.. the emails. I didn't know you'd read them." She says, and you slowly close all programs, while Jungkooks humms out something.

"Yeah, I figured." He says, before he shakes his head. "As I said, I'm letting it go. No hard feelings." He says, shrugging, before he walks towards his studio again, stopping in his tracks for a second. "Ah, baby, can you text Jin-Hyung and ask him if we can come now? I'm actually starving I swear." He says, and you nod with red cheeks, pulling out your phone.

"Huh." Comes from Hana, as she takes the receipt from you. "I honestly.. would've never thought." She mumbles, before she simply leaves, without any more words.

Yeah. You would've honestly never thought either.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi.com/bonnykookoo. Thank you for reading.

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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thewalkingdead-imagines · 3 years

Text

TWD - Negan Imagine ~ “Diverged”

Imagine for the 21st episode of Season 10

Summary: Follow Negan and the Reader through the days after Maggie’s arrival in Alexandria, through struggles and tension, domestic bliss, and a special little celebration.

Warning: Smut

Day 1 after Maggie’s arrival Warm morning sun was streaming through the windows of the living room and the kitchen, filling it up with a warmth that you very much needed after the nerve-wracking last night. You hadn’t slept badly, but your body was still letting you know that it didn’t like the ordeal of fear and tears you’d put it through last night. You tried to stay positive, new day, new game, but the thought that you could run into Maggie any moment you’d step foot out of your house gave you a feeling of the ugly kind. “Fuck, really needed that coffee”, Negan groaned as you watched him take a big gulp from his cup, his figure still a little slumped over the table and his face was still painted in the remaining exhaustion that was stuck in him as well. “Mhm me too”, you sighed, reaching for your cup, taking another sip while you could feel Negan’s hand reaching for yours, taking it into his grasp as he cleared his throat slightly. “So we’re just gonna-” Cut off by two quick knocks on the door your glimpse shot up from your cup, darting right at the door, revealing Gabriel’s black clothed figure right behind its windows. Your stomach started to sink from one moment to another, unsure what to think, unsure what he would do and say now that Maggie was back, unsure if he was here to try and snap Negan’s freedom back again, or if it was just something trivial that had brought him here. “Fuck”, it fell from Negan’s lips the same moment a tense sound fell from yours and you stood up from your spot, letting go of Negan’s hand to move towards the door while your heart started to drum against your chest, pounding harshly as you finally pushed down the handle. “Morning, can I come in?”, the priest asked, the look on his face not readable enough for you to know whether he had good or bad news. “Sure”, you only nodded, gulping thickly as he walked past you towards the table, watching him closely as you followed him. “Mornin’ Gabey boy”, Negan chuckled, overplaying any of the stress and fear he clearly felt too. The bright grin was plastered onto his face, but just one look into his eyes gave away what he was truly feeling right now. “Morning to you too, Negan. I just got some updates for the both of you”, he said, looking in between the both of you and finally, he seemed to pick up on the thick tension that was laying in the air.

“It’s nothing negative, no need to worry”, he quickly added and while a burden already seemed to fall from your shoulders and your heart started to slow down its relentless pounding, a part of you was still on edge. “Aaron and I will leave for an extensive run in a few hours. Maggie provided us with a map with possible scavenging locations further out. I just thought it would be good to let you know, also concerning the council”, he said as he looked to you while you were still nearly hanging onto his lips, waiting for him to finish so you could be sure that no bad surprise was waiting for you,”With both of us gone, most of the remaining council is gone as well, there’s only you, Nora and Kyle left...which means it is inactive for the time being, as soon as we’re back, we will look for new members and make any decisions together.” “And what does that mean for us?”, Negan finally asked, the grin gone as the tension broke through his facade as he glanced up to the priest, “C’mon Gabe, You just said it, Maggie is back. So as long as you and spikey boy are out there we’ll just continue as before? Do our work and live here?” “That’s the plan”, he nodded,”I’ve told you before, every helping hand is needed and living in this home has worked during the last days as well. A well rested worker is a good worker. So yes, you will continue as before.” “And others know that as well? As long as you’re gone we can count on this?”, you asked, still too tense to trust it all completely yet no matter how much you wanted to believe it,“I just...I just want to be sure that Maggie’s presence won’t spontaneously change things while you’re gone. We won’t start anything of course, we’ll keep our distance, I just want to be sure that we can count on this now.” “You can”, he nodded once more, sighing as he still saw the suspicion on both of your faces. You wished it was different, you wished you could act and be a little more lighthearted and less tense but you’d been disappointed too many times before and you weren’t gonna let that happen again, not if you had any chance to avoid it. “I’ve told Kyle and Nora...and yes, I’ve let Daryl know as well just as Maggie does. I’m not saying she likes it but this decision is set in stone for as long as we’re gone”, he said, looking in between the both of you, “And as I told you last time, I generally see no problem in keeping the situation permanently as it is.” “Okay, thank you, Gabe”, you finally got out, allowing yourself to let his words finally calm you while Negan joined in, sighing softly as he got the priest’s attention. “I know I’ve been screwing with you here and there but I appreciate this, Gabey, Really”, he said, looking straight but entirely genuine at the other man, who started to clear his throat slightly. “Good...I am not entirely sure how long this run will take, but it will be something around two weeks. I’ll see you when I’m back”, he started, looking once more in between the both of you before he started to head towards the door again. “Take care”, you said as you moved in behind him, reaching for his arm to stop him for a moment as he was about to step outside, “I mean it, thank you. This means a lot.” He only gave you another look, a slightly warmer one you’d rarely seen in him during the last while before he nodded slightly and slipped outside, leaving you at the doorstep for a moment as the fresh morning breeze brushed over your face and allowed you to relax slightly and process the news that were much better than you’d actually anticipated. For now, things were good, and you’d just appreciate that to the fullest.

2 days after Maggie’s arrival Business as usual. Just like Gabriel had proposed. You hadn’t seen Maggie on the streets of Alexandria at all yesterday, only one or two of her people and you were quite grateful that it had stayed that limited after the tumultuous night you’ve had before, though you knew that it certainly wouldn’t stay that way. They were probably getting that house ready that Maggie had simply picked for them, and while that fact irked you a little, you were partly grateful that it bought you some more time to adjust. Still half lost in your thoughts you moved through the quiet infirmary, only hearing Steve move something around on the first floor, collecting some new bed sheets for the only stationary patient you had at the moment. “I got you, only this one more step”, an unfamiliar male voice rumbled from the porch dully into the room, just loud enough for your attention to spike up and turn you into the direction of the voice. Tilting your head you glimpsed through the windows, trying to sort the voice to a face and from one moment to another, it was crystal clear to you why you didn’t recognize it. The voice didn’t belong to an Alexandrian, Hilltoper or even former Kingdom resident, those were two of Maggie’s people. A shudder ran down your back as you watched the man whose voice you’d just heard help the blonde woman he propped with his arms towards the door, slow but still not slow enough for you to prepare yourself for the situation. Did they know who you were? Did Maggie or maybe any other person in here already point it out to them? For a moment, you wanted to call Steve downstairs, to take no chances and avoid unnecessary confrontations but you didn’t have enough time for that left and a small part of you hoped that doing a good job now might benefit you and Negan at some other point. Still, it didn’t leave you any less tense as the man pushed the door open, his eyes on the floor until the both of them moved a little more into the room and he finally looked up. “Morning, we’re here to get a new bandage for her foot”, he rumbled, tucking a loose strand of his dark hair back into his low bun as you moved towards the both of them, trying to find some kind of recognition in his eyes but at least for now, it didn’t seem like he knew who you were, and if that was the case, it might be best to keep it this way. You weren’t in the mood for confrontations. Not here. Not now. “Sure, just help me get her on the cot”, you said, smiling softly as you moved in next to the woman, propping her just enough to get her comfortably onto the nearest cot and a sigh of relief left her lips as soon as she could adjust herself and relieve her foot from any weight that had still lasted onto it. “I’ll quickly get some stuff to wrap this up again”, you said as you moved towards the counters, a certain tension still lasting onto you as you reached for the small notebook with notes you kept about the patients, searching for the latest fitting entry of the day before yesterday that fit to her injury. “Your name’s Linda, right?”, you asked as you glimpsed up from the book, watching as the younger woman looked up and nodded softly. “You’re keeping track of the patients?”, the man asked, curious as he tilted his head a little to glimpse at the book. “Yeah, makes it easier to know for any follow up appointments what drugs, salves or else were used”, you said, still with a friendly look on your face as you nodded back to the book, “Also easier to keep track on how much of meds we still got left, just makes things a lot faster and simple.” “Yeah I’m just asking ‘cause our doc back at our old village did the same thing, had a book that looked exactly like that one, just had me curious”, he said, a bittersweetness in his voice before he let out a thick sigh,”Not sure if you heard but the reason we left is the same reason she got injured...hurt herself when the rest of our group fled from that bastard in the woods.”´ß “Yeah I did”, you nodded, moving in to grab what you needed, glimpsing in between the book and Linda and Cole as you threw the supplies into a small basket, ready to use them as you made your way back and gave her a small smile,”Gonna make sure you’re fully back on your feet quickly.” “I’m Cole by the way”, he said the moment you reached them, extracting his hand out to you and with that, sending just another shiver of tension through you as you realized that there was no way past introducing yourself anymore. “Well then nice to meet you, Cole”, you said, giving him another smile, trying to give him one last kind impression of yourself before you gulped thickly as you accepted his hand, only hoping that this would be the first time he’d hear your name. “I’m (Y/N).” It wasn’t the first time. it most definitely wasn’t. From one moment to another, it seemed to click in him. His kind looking dark eyes widened slightly before they narrowed as his face fell flat, saying with that expression more than 1000 words ever could while his grip on your hand loosened. “Well, then let’s get this done, huh?”, you could hear yourself awkwardly mumble as you let go of his hand, trying to act as if this hadn’t just happened while you only hoped that he would just give you the silent treatment instead of spewing a remark. Tensely you started to get to work, trying to ignore what had just happened though you could very much tell that they were eyeing you. Linda more than Cole, but the looks you could see him giving you from the corner of your eyes were still obvious enough to notice. Thorough but as fast as you could you finished the job, making sure to not look as tensed as you felt before you finally tossed the last bit of scraps back into the basket and looked back up again. “Alright, it’s done. You can come back anytime you feel like you need a bandage change, if nothing happens and it mostly stays in place, you could come by tomorrow evening or the day after”, you said, just trying to act as if this situation wasn’t as awkward and tense as it truly was. With that, you only got a short “Thanks” and “Bye” of them and right after those words had been spoken, they got themselves out of the infirmary without saying just another word. And while this was by far not the worst case scenario, you knew that your time of adjusting was over with these few minutes that were surely just the beginning of a ton of tense encounters. “Delivery for the doc?”, a warm, familiar voice filled up the room, its suddeness that cut through the silence from one moment to another letting you flinch as you turned around and saw Negan standing by the side entrance door with a large wooden box in his hands that he quickly let down by the door as he moved inside towards you. “Fuck, you look like ya saw a damn ghost. Did I scare you that much?”, he chuckled as he reached you, moving in to grasp your jaw and press a kiss over your lips. Humming you leaned into him, kissing him back until he slowly let go of you and looked over your face, almost as if he was trying to read off of your expression what exactly was wrong. “Two of Maggie’s people were here just now”, you eventually mumbled, watching his face tense up quickly before you shook your head softly. “They didn’t do anything but their attitude changed up real quick once they heard my name”, you mumbled, sighing softly as you shrugged your shoulders,”At least didn’t throw any remarks around but the silence was awkward as hell.” Negan only nodded, his face a little less tense than before but still far from relaxed as you leaned up to press another small kiss over his lips. “Now what’s the delivery? I’m curious”, you asked, trying to switch up the topic as you nodded towards the box that still stood by the door and Negan’s face began to light back up. “Went out with your colleague’s husband today and got some cuts for those herbs you needed”, he said as he let go of you and strolled over to the door to heave the box with a small grunt up and carry it over to the counter by your side ,”Daniel and I wanna go out an dig ‘em up some other day. Steve told him getting some tinctures and salves done is kinda urgent so we thought we’d get some cuts for y’all first.” “Oh that’s awesome”, you said, glimpsing into the box that was filled with neatly tied bundles of herbs, though your excitement wasn’t only directed at the new supplies but also at the fact that Negan seemed to have had a rather positive experience with another Alexandrian, and he could use that at the moment. “We got a bunch of chamomile, some burning nettles, comfrey, burdock, dandelions and some lavender”, Negan mumbled as he gestured into the box as you peeked inside,”Reading those damn plant books down in that fucking cell finally pays off. First that Hogweed shit with Aaron and now this.” A chuckle fell from your lips as you reached inside the box and grasped the small bundle of lavender and held it up to your nose to smell its calming scent. “Oh this smells so good”, you mumbled, backing a little off to glimpse at the small and pretty lilac blossoms ,”Crazy how fast everything’s blooming now. Feels like those pretty wildflowers by the woodhouses also just popped up from one day to another.” Laying the lavender back into the box you moved closer to Negan to wrap your arms around his neck and lean into kiss him softly, smiling as you leaned back to glimpse at him. “Thank you”,you mumbled, reaching your hand up to run it trough his dark hair and elicited a small, content groan to fall from Negan’s lips ,”How were things with Daniel outside?” “Actually pretty damn good”, Negan said, the grin on his face growing a little wider and some more relief spread through you,”Nice guy, really...felt good just being looked at like a normal damn person.” “See”, you mumbled, giving him another smile,”Told you there’s also people who’ve grown to accept you. Not everything’s bad.” Slowly, Negan nodded, the smile still resting on his lips. Things wouldn’t become easier, if anything had shown you that it was the encounter with Cole and Linda just now, but these little positive news were enough to let you realize once more that there were still people in this town that were starting to accept Negan. You just couldn’t let the opinions of those that still despised him overshadow those who were willing to give him an honest chance to start anew.

4 days after Maggie’s arrival A deep sigh fell from your lips as you fumbled the DVD of the likely most horrible horror movie you’d watched to this day out of the console, popping it quickly back into its packaging to push it, hopefully, to never be seen again into the TV shelf. Glimpsing over your shoulder you watched as Negan poured the both of you new drinks in the kitchen, waiting for you to choose the next thing to watch for your daily little movie night that would hopefully distract you from the cliché filled atrocity you’d just watched. Shifting on the fluffly carpet you moved along the backs of the DVD packages until you found the one you wanted and pulled it out just as you saw the lights in the kitchen turn off again and heard Negan’s footsteps coming closer. “Watcha poppin’ in there?”, he asked, curiously rising his eyebrows as he tried to peek at the package in your hands and took a small sip of his whiskey. ““Can you resist?” I need something trashy and fun after that bummer”, you said with a small chuckle and held the tacky, and bright colored packaging up, just enough for Negan to see it as he sat down on the edge of the couch and brightly grinned at you. “Need something to calm ya down?”, he asked, tease swinging heavily through his voice ,”Was that thing too scary for you?” “No”, you quickly retorted before you popped the package open,“I just need to erase that crap from my mind.” “Sure thing.” “Asshole”, you chuckled in response to his comment that just oozed sarcasm, leaning in over to him to give his leg a small, playful slap while a thick laugh rumbled up his throat. Glimpsing back down you moved the DVD into the console, a little more eager to finally get it running. The first four episodes that you’d watched during the last nights had already been nothing but a fun guilty pleasure, that got so much better with Negan’s remarks about the candidates and whatever actions they were pulling at the moment. If you were honest, those remarks were likely what you enjoyed most about watching the show. “I swear if Sarah and Chad are the first fuckin’ faces we see, I’m gonna lose my shit”, Negan groaned as he stood up from the couch’s edge and moved back to his usual spot, plopping down onto it, careful to not spill any of your drinks as he threw his legs onto the cushions. “I’ve never seen two people on TV who’ve got on my nuts that much”, he scoffed, sipping once more on his glass as you grabbed the remote and moved back over to him,”I get it, not fuckin’ is hard but not so fuckin’ hard to resist if 100 thousand dollar are on the damn line. Just resist for a while and then have a big-ass fuckfest after you collect the damn coin.” “At least the drama’s good”, you chuckled back, reaching for your glass as you moved in next to him and started the show, almost eager to forget about that dumb movie and hear what kind of remarks Negan had to offer up for this episode. “That’s true”, he mumbled as you set your glass back on the coffee table and cuddled up to his side, watching the screen load before another contestant’s face showed up on the screen and a relieved groan fell from Negan’s lips,”Oh thank god...Y’know who that guy reminds me of?” Glancing up you looked in between Negan and the young man that was shown on TV, trying to figure out for a moment who he could refer to before you shook your head and watched Negan’s grin flare up once more. “Gabey.” “What?”, it fell from your lips with a laugh, as you glimpsed confused back to Negan. “Y’know he’s acting all coy and shit but I bet he might be kinkier than we think”, he said, grinning widely as he bit his lip before he gestured to the TV ,”I’m sure he’s gonna get laid by that Valerie girl.” “You sure he won’t be able to resist?”, you mumbled, tilting your head a little as said Valerie showed up on screen and started to move towards Gabey 2.0 ,”He’s been responsible till now.” “Till now”, Negan grinned, holding his pointing finger up before he snickered and grinned just a little wider,”He’s gonna break at some point...especially if she keeps on inviting him on those dates...and I can’t wait for the shit storm that will break loose once that happens.”

7 days after Maggie’s arrival The sun was already nearing the skyline of the trees and filled the air with its warm light as you reached your home after a long day of work. You’d stayed a little longer at the infirmary today, fixing up some new tinctures with the herbs that Negan and Daniel had brought in and by now, you were just glad to finally come home and fill your stomach up with whatever delicious meal Negan had prepared by now. Once you reached your home you quickly moved up the porch, taking two steps at the time only to hear the door opening as soon as you reached the top. “Hey Sweetheart”, Negan said, a wide grin on his face as he leaned against the doorframe while your eyes ran over him. Usually, he was already in his comfortable clothes around this time, ready to just relax for the rest of the day but now, he looked like he’d freshly slicked back his hair and threw some fresh dark gray pants on and a white shirt on. You most definitely weren’t complaining, but you were still surprised. “Hey”, you said back, grinning back at him as you moved in to greet him with a kiss, peeking curiously past him as you caught a high vase on the dinner table that was filled with the pretty wildflowers you’d seen blooming by the woodhouses and that only sparked your curiosity further. “What’s going on here?”, you asked as you leaned a bit back and tilted your head slightly, watching as something that looked a little but like nervousness spread over his face as he took your hand and lead you inside, where you could already smell the delicious scent of Negan’s spaghetti sauce filling the air. “Y’know...around this time last year I put that ring on your finger”, he said as he closed the door behind you and looked down to your hand before glimpsing right back up at you with a warm but still slightly nervous look in his eyes,”I can’t be sure about the exact date but I...I thought it would be nice to celebrate our anniversary in some way...I just wanted to do something special for you.” From one moment to another the smile on your lips got wider, bringing warmth all over you as you looked from the flowers in the vase, to the few burning thick candles, to the nicely set table and the fresh basket of self made biscuits that was laying beside the cutlery. “Wow, I-” “You said you liked ‘em so I thought they’d make a nice bouquet, uhm-”, Negan said as he nodded towards the flowers. The slight nervousness that filled the usually so confident and self-assure man was honestly adorable and you found yourself charmed as he moved from your side over to his chair and picked up something that he’d been hiding there till now ,”I got something else for you too.” With that he lifted up a pretty, dark brown leather bound notebook from its spot, a loving look filling his eyes as he moved back over to you. “You always said you wanted to create some kinda handbook for those healing herbs and stuff but you never actually got to do it before...so when I was out there getting those herb cuts, I got the idea and thought I’d start it for you.” “Holy shit”, it left your lips as you reached in to accept his gift, already smiling widely as you glimpsed at the notebook,”Thank you.” Your mouth fell softly open as you glanced down, running your thumb over the soft leather as more warmth filled you. Spending your time either working at the infirmary or being down by Negan in his cell for the last years had never given you the time to start a book like this, and it got you even happier now that it was him who gave it to you. It was personal and it was perfect and as you finally opened it the smile on your face grew only wider.

To the best wife (and doc) ever! Happy anniversary, Sweetheart I love you

Negan’s handwriting filled the whole top of the first page, neat and not as messy as you were used to it and you could tell that it had cost him some effort to get it this way. And just as your eyes swayed over the last three words they got captured by the smaller written line at the bottom of the page. P.S. You have, and always will, give my dick and my heart the biggest boner!

With that, a laugh fell from your lips as your eyes ran over the sentence, while the smile on your lips surely turned into an everlasting one. You loved the sweet message on the top of the page, but this down there was Negan through and through and that made it even more special to you. “First thought I’d hold myself a bit back in case you’d want others to look into it too”, Negan chuckled as you finally glimpsed up to him from the book and he winked at you,”Couldn’t go through with it all the way tho.” “I’m glad you didn’t”, you chuckled, your curiosity taking over again as you started to turn the pages and found yourself loving the book more and more with every second. Negan had taken a leaf or blossom of each of the herbs that he’d found outside, dried them and carefully glued them into the book, dedicating a page for each of the dried samples with their names written neatly on top of them and with enough pages left between each of them for you to fill with whatever notes and knowledge you had about them. “Oh my”, it fell from your lips as you browsed through the book that must have been a whole lot of work, especially considering that he always only had time to work on it whenever he got earlier back from his shifts than you. “Wish I could give you more, I know it’s not much-”, you suddenly heard him start, cut off by your sudden movement as you looked up at him and glanced wide eyes at him. “Are you kidding me?”,you asked, a soft chuckle falling from your lips as you widely smiled at him ,”This is so awesome. I love it!” Negan’s face began to light up as his eyes roamed over your happy face, his glance softening as you sat the book carefully down onto the table and moved in to hug him tightly. “Thank you so so much”, you mumbled, nuzzling your nose into his warm neck while his arms wrapped around you and pulled you closer into his embrace,”This is so sweet.” You’d never had such a thing as an anniversary before, there had never been this moment where the both of you had decided that you were a couple, it had just happened, little by little until you found yourself in love with one another and you’d always liked it this way. But this, this was special. It was something you’d never been able to do during all these years down in that cell and celebrating just anything with him now got you happy, just as the realization that you’d been calling him your husband for a year now. Leaning back you tipped up to meet his lips in a kiss, humming into him before you could feel a tiny bit of guilt starting to prick you as you realized that you were pretty much empty handed. “Now I don’t even have anything for you”, you mumbled as you let got of his lips, watching as Negan quickly shook his head. “And you don’t need to”, he mumbled, moving in to cup your face with his hands as he leaned down to press another kiss over your lips,”What you did during the last years is more than I could ever give back to you.” A small sigh left his lips as he glimpsed at you, licking his lips as his eyes stayed fixed on you. “Shit, everything you dragged down that cell to make it look more comfy was basically a damn gift”, he mumbled, a small snort falling from his lips before he shrugged his shoulders softly,”I could never give you one.” “You gave me this”, you said, holding up your left hand and the slim diamond wedding ring Negan had fixed up for you,”That’s a pretty big one.” A hum fell from Negan’s lips as his eyes swayed from the ring back to you as you let your arm lower and wrap back around his torso again. “I’m serious tho”, you mumbled, sure to keep his eyes locked on yours ,”I know you won’t believe that but you’ve given me just as much as I have given you, in one way or another. We’re even, Negan.” He softly nodded, and even though he did, you knew he’d never truly think this way. “Thank you so much for this”, you mumbled, looking over from the flowers and the notebook back at your husband ,”It’s perfect...I don’t even really know what to say I just-....I love you so much.” “I love you too”, Negan mumbled back, moving back in to kiss you, this time longer and with more passion, until your knees started to feel gooey and you found yourself melted against him. Slowly and reluctantly, Negan let go of your lips and leaned his forehead against yours, smiling widely as you heard the blubbering of the still simmering tomato sauce on the stove and let a small chuckle fall from your lips. “I want some of those spaghetti now tho...I’m starving.”

The spaghetti were as great as always and you quickly filled your stomach up with the delicious meal, loving every little moment of your anniversary dinner with Negan until you decided to quickly hop under the shower so you could enjoy the rest of the night with him down in the living room. With a towel wrapped around your body and busy with drying off your hair with another, smaller one you moved from the bathroom back into the bedroom, lost in your thoughts for a moment as your eyes swayed over the trees outside that were only enlighted by now by the faint moonlight until your eyes dropped from the windows and landed on Negan’s leatherjacket that laid over the back of the desk-chair. Smiling softly you moved towards it, running your fingers over the smooth leather until it clicked within you from one moment to another and an idea quickly rose up into your head that would allow you to still give Negan a little gift for the anniversary as well. Dropping the towel from your body you tossed it along with the smaller one to the bed and grabbed the jacket to slip it over your bare body, chuckling to yourself as you already imagined his reaction to it and could feel an anticipating tingling growing quickly within you. A small grin already laid on your face as you adjusted the oversized jacket on your body and started to move downstairs as quietly as you could, aiming to not let Negan see you until you wanted him too. Peeking inside the living room you saw him sitting relaxed on the couch, leaned back into the cushions and with his back darted towards you as he looked through some DVDs. Gulping softly you moved forwards, extra careful to not step onto the floorboards that were usually squeaking a little underneath your feet until you stood right behind Negan. Slowly, you lowered yourself a little until you could wrap your leather clad arms around him from behind and leaned in, just enough to align your lips with his ear. “I have a little surprise for you after all”, you whispered, immediately hearing a sharp breath falling from Negan’s lips as he turned around and stared with wide eyes at you that started to narrow as soon as his glance wandered over you. “Holy fuck”, he growled, licking his lips as he rushed up from the couch and rounded it within seconds, hurrying over to you while his eyes already filled with the lust you knew all too well. ”Thought we could check off another goal from that bucket list of yours”, you said with a grin as soon as he reached you, his eyes still roaming over you like a hungry predator that was looking at its prey. ”Oh for fuckin’ sure”, you could hear him murmur as he leaned down to met you in a rough kiss, his hands already starting to move underneath the leather and wander over your bare skin. Running your hands through his hair you winced softly against his lips as he lead you towards the dinner table, groaning into you as your body met the wood. ”This gotta be a fuckin’ dream”, he grumbled, only letting go of you to look down at you,”Don’t know how often I’ve imagined you wearing only that jacket, fuck.” You quickly found yourself in another rough kiss, only breaking it to get the rest of the stuff off the table along with the vase of flowers and the notebook before you felt Negan pushing you against it, more than ready to take this further. “Fuckin’ hell”, you heard him groan against your lips as his hands moved below the jacket and cupped your breasts, fondling them and brushing his rough thumbs over your sensitive nipples while you leaned into his touch, eager to get more of it. Humming his lips trailed down from your mouth to your neck, kissing and nipping at it as your hand dove into his thick hair and grasped it tightly as you felt him biting the skin gently but firm enough to let a small sting shoot through your body. “Oh fuck”, it fell softly from your lips, your eyes closing for a moment before you felt one of his hands traveling up to cup your throat, squeezing it lightly as he leaned back and grinned down at you. “Sit and lean back, Baby”, he said lowly, not needing to do much more for you to do as he said as you could already feel your body tingling in anticipation of what was to come while his hand was still wrapped around your throat. Breathing sharply in you leaned back until your leather covered back meet the wood, your fingers running over its roughness while your eyes found Negan’s that were staring narrowed down on you. “This, shit, this is a sight for the gods”, he murmured, licking his lips as the wolfish grin on his lips widened, enjoying the view for a moment longer until his hand ran from your neck down your breasts and your stomach until he started to lower himself to his knees. A shiver ran down your spine as you could feel him grabbing your legs to push them over his shoulders and move his head so close to your middle that you could feel his hot breath ghosting over your flesh. Slowly but surely you could feel Negan’s lips trailing along your inner thighs, his rough beard brushing against them until you could finally feel the warmth of his mouth meeting your middle and a low groan vibrated against your sensitive flesh. A small gasp left your mouth as you felt him dragging his tongue along your core, humming deeply as he tasted you and you could feel the heat within you growing hotter as it pooled in your body’s depth. The sensation of his rough beard and his soft lips and tongue made you wince in pleasure as he worked on you, moving one of his hands towards your hot flesh to send more waves of heat through you. Tipping your head back, you felt his long fingers teasing over your clit, before his thumb moved in firm, circling movements over the sensitive numb, enough to make your body tingle even more. Negan knew what you liked. Hell, Negan knew every little inch of your body and he surely knew how to use that for his advantage. In no time he turned you into a writhing mess as his fingers and tongue worked on you and you found yourself grabbing his hair as your body started to tremble, filled up with heat and pleasure. Softly moaning you met your hips gently in rhythm with his movements until could feel an uneasy sound fall from his lips as his deep voice vibrated against your flesh ,”Fuck, I can’t wait anymore...shit, I’m rock hard.” “Then take me”, it slipped from your lips, your body eager to feel just any touch from him, feel his tongue or his lips, or feel him thrust deeply into you. Negan was quick back on his feet, a wicked look on his face as you whined in response to the loss of his touch, though you got quickly rewarded as you rose your head just enough to see him pulling his clothes from his body. Step by step you could see more of him, his toned body, the dark hair that peppered his chest and the trail that down his pants that got you excited regardless how many times you’d already seen him undress. You could already see the large tent underneath his boxers as he pulled his pants from his body and tossed them to the side, grinning wolfishly before he brushed the very last piece from his body and revealed his throbbing erection. He was as rock hard as he’d said, precum already leaking from the tip as he stroked himself, enough to let the anticipation skyrocket within you. His eyes kept on roaming over your naked figure underneath his leather jacket as he moved in to grab your legs, pushing them up and leaning them against his shoulders as he moved between them, the wicked grin always on his face while your body started to tremble harder. His fingers were digging into your skin as one of his hands ran down to get a grasp of himself and lead himself closer, eliciting a sharp breath to fall from your lips as soon as you felt his tip pushing against your core. “Eyes on me”, you could hear him order lowly, enough to make your glance shoot towards him and just in the very moment your eyes met his, you felt him thrusting himself into you, hard and deep while your face twisted in pleasure. A loud moan fell from your lips as your eyes stayed fixed on Negan, his lips hanging open as he groaned deeply as he grasped both of your legs tightly. “That pussy was made for me, fuck”, he groaned, licking his lips as he started to rock himself into you and his thick brows tensed as his darkened eyes stared down on you as you twitched and writhed on his cock. His fingers were digging deeply into the flesh of your legs, so much that you were sure that he was leaving marks but you couldn’t care less, you just wanted to feel him. Whining in pleasure you could feel Negan pulling himself a little out of your heat only to plow himself right back into you, groaning loudly as his skin smacked against yours and his thick cock filled you up in the very best way possible “Fuck”, it fell from your lips as Negan rocked himself into you, allowing you to meet his harsh but rhythmic movements as your hands were moving to grasp the edges of the table, desperate to hold onto anything as his fast and hard thrusts made the wood shake underneath you. “Fuck, Negan...fuck this feels so good”, you called out, writhing and humming as his heavy thrusts made you shake a little more one after one, only to see how another grin spread over his strained face. “Oh I think I got a little treat for ya”, he growled and pushed himself harder into you, before one of his hands reached down to circle his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves, enough to make you throw your head back in pleasure. ”Oh my”, it fell in a gasp from your lips as you felt Negan’s thrusts and the movements of his fingers combining perfectly, bringing the mix of lust and pleasure within you to boil up even more than it already had. ”Good girl”, he growled, as you rocked your hips against his and played into his movements all while you gripped the table’s edges harder, feeling your body heating up even more as Negan’s thrusts got harder and he put more pressure onto your clit, just enough to make your body shake more. You were starting to swing more in a trance, feel each of his touches even more intense than before. Feel his rough grasp on your leg, feel his rough thrusts, feel his fingers skilled movements over your clit and feel his scent and the feeling of the smooth leather of his jacket surround you. “Be my dirty girl and cum on my cock, baby. Cum on my fucking cock!”, Negan called out as you were growing closer to your high, thrust by thrust until he finally send you over the edge and let your orgasm wash over you as he fucked you through it. Heavily breathing you could feel your chest rising and falling quickly as you slowly started to recover, though you stayed stuck in this haze of pleasure as you saw Negan’s eyes looking over you, visibly enjoying seeing you writhe on his cock while your bare body was only surrounded by his leather jacket. The grin on his lips was wide as he finally let go of your clit and instead moved up to wrap his hand around the back of your neck, and pulled your still shaking body up to face him. “C’mere”, he growled, still keeping his movements going as you tried recollect yourself somehow and moved in to wrap your shaking legs around his hips, allowing him to thrust deeper. “Fucking hell”, he cussed out, his body tensing up as he rocked himself harder into you, stretching you out perfectly and hitting all the right spots as you moved your arms to wrap them around his neck, moaning and panting as you tried to meet his movements and give him the very same pleasure he had just given you. Glimpsing with a still hazy look in your eyes down, you watched him dragging himself back and forth into you before you felt his hands moving down to your hips, pushing you harder onto him as he moaned deeply. Taking the chance you leaned in to brush your lips over his neck and nipped on his heated skin, while more curses left his lips one by one. Reaching one of his hands up he grasped your jaw harshly, pulling you to his lips to he met you in a rough kiss that swallowed both of your moans and deep groans as Negan started to grow closer and closer. His thrusts grew harsher but sloppier, your kiss disrupted by his heavy pants that rumbled through his broad chest as his eyes found yours to keep them locked as he rocked himself harder into you. “Holy fuck...”, he groaned, pleasure written all over his face as his movements got faster and you allowed him to use you just the way he wanted right now until you finally felt him twitch deeply inside you. A shivering groan fell from his lips as he pulled himself just fast enough out of you, his body shivering harshly as he spilled himself over your stomach while the shocks of his orgasm rumbled through him. Panting his eyes fell from yours and fixed on his leatherjacket and your body that was covered in his cum, until he exhaustedly leaned against you, his forehead pressing against yours as you leaned in to cup his face and pressed a kiss over his lips. “Happy anniversary, Negan.”

9 days after Maggie’s arrival The afternoon sun fell brightly over Alexandria as you strolled through the infirmary, Negan’s handbook in one hand and a pen and Siddiq’s old notes about the herbs in your other as you headed towards the porch. You’d already started to work on the book a little during yesterday’s evening, but your small break now seemed like a good opportunity to continue with it. Rounding your last corner you peaked outside and saw Judith sitting at the end of the table on the porch, writing something while a couple pens were sprawled out around her. “Hey Jude”, you said with a smile as you moved outside, closing the door behind yourself as you nodded towards her,”Watcha doing?” “Homework...and I’m waiting for Lydia”, she sighed as she looked up from her paper before a small smile grew on her lips as she nodded towards the small lake on the other side of the road,”I like the view here, makes it easier to study.” “Oh that’s true, it’s real pretty here”, you said as you moved closer and nodded towards one of the free chairs diagonally from her,“Mind if I join?” Shaking her head she quickly moved some of the sprawled out pens closer to her to give you a bit more space before you sat down and laid stuff onto the table, just as something on the street caught your gaze. Tension washed over your body from one moment to another as you caught Maggie walking down the street, her son strolling right next to her as they chatted with each other. You tried to dart your glance quickly away from her but before you could her eyes met yours and let a shiver run down your back as the smile on her face turned into a frown within seconds. “What’s this?”, you suddenly heard Judith’s voice say, pulling you from Maggie’s stare as you glanced over at Judith and saw her pointing at the notebook, and though you knew that she was curious, the look in her eyes said more than 1000 words could. She was trying to distract you and you were going to let her. “Gonna be a handbook for all the herbs we use in here”, you said, quickly opening up the book to show her the pages that were filled with the dried herb samples- “Oh that’s nice”, she said, smiling brightly as she pointed at the dried comfrey leaf,”Can I?” Nodding, you watched her lean over and stroke her finger over the texture of the leaf, giggling as she fell back onto her chair, “Wow, that’s so cool.” “Gotta tell Negan that, he dried them”, you said with a chuckle just as her eyes fell on the street and she let out a small laugh. “Speaking of.” Turning your head you saw Negan strolling down the street towards the infirmary, ready to pick you up for your shift later this day while Lydia walked next to him. “Hey ladies”, Negan called out with quick wave and a grin as he reached the porch and nodded to Lydia next to him,”Found out we wanted to head to the same place.” “Hi”, Lydia said with a smile as she moved towards you, sat down across from you and set her book down on the table, smiling softly once more as you greeted her back and saw Negan plopping down on the chair beside her. “Think you could help me with a math problem?”, Judith finally asked as she reached for another slim book of hers and flipped through the pages as she glimpsed at Negan who quickly nodded. “Sure thing, lemme see”, he said, reaching his hand out for the book before Judith’s eyes fell on you as she nodded towards the book. “Or do you wanna?” “Nah I can pass on math”, you chuckled, watching Judith tilt her head a little before her glance bounced in between you and Negan. “But you’re not as long out of school as Negan.” “Hey, that’s not fair, that doesn’t mean shit”, Negan called out in the very next moment, a wide grin growing on his lips as nodded at you,”And she’s outta school for a long ass time too.” “Not as long as you”, Judith quickly countered, and a grin pressed over her lips ,”She’s still young. You’re old.” “Pff I’m not”, Negan defended himself, while another giggle fell from Judith’s lips. “Then why’s your beard so gray?” “Careful Miss Grimes, you’re gettin’ bold”, Negan called playfully out, pointing at her before he snatched the book with a thick laugh and a wide grin on his face from his fingers, just as you heard someone clearing his throat behind you. “Hey”, you heard Steve say as soon as you turned around to him, catching him leaning against the door as he nodded inside,”Can I talk to you for a moment?” Strolling behind Steve into the infirmary you already expected him to ask you for help with the tinctures or salves that he’d been mixing earlier but instead, he stopped by the counters and nodded outside to the porch where Negan and the girls still sat. “How about you take the rest of the day off? Negan too?” “I-”,you started, so surprised of him that you didn’t even really know what to say first, “I would love to but I don’t know if that would make a good impression.” “Day’s pretty, most have laid their work low today”, he said with a shrug, gesturing around the room,”Infirmary is quiet and honestly, Daniel’s working at the woodhouses today so I wouldn’t mind taking over Negan’s shift.” “Really?”, it fell from our lips with the same surprised tone as before, your eyes wide as you started at him and couldn’t quite belief his offer yet. He’d always belonged to the kinder people in Alexandria, those who were willing to give your husband a chance but this was still something big for you. “Really”, he confirmed while the look in his eyes softened a little,”I think you deserve a bit time off too...and I’ll vouch for Negan if anyone questions it.” With that he surprised completely once for all, so much that it had to be written all over your face since Steve let out a small chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. “I may have thought differently about him a couple years ago but...he’s done good”, he said, his hand rubbing over his blonde beard stubble as he glimpsed back at you ,”And Daniel had only good things to say about him. So go have a nice afternoon off with him.” “Thank you”, you breathed out, still staring startled at him as you gulped thickly ,”Really, I-” “All good”, he said with a nod as you found yourself lost at words for a moment before you started to collect yourself again. “If you need a shift covered to have time off with Daniel you’ll let me know too, alright?” “Sure”, he said with a smile, before he nodded outside where you could hear Negan laughing,”See you tomorrow.” Nodding you watched him move back upstairs where he’d been working just as you could feel the happiness his sudden offer had brought into you starting to feel real. Smiling to yourself you moved back over to the door, hearing Negan defending himself loudly. “Now that ain’t true! I make the best damn spaghetti!”, he called out just as you could peek through the door and see him nodding at Lydia and Judith ,”Y’know if you’re allowed, you can come over whenever you guys like and I’ll make ‘em for you. They’re the best!” “Barbara’s are pretty good”, Judith countered back, the grin on her lips pretty telling that she wanted to vex Negan. “Yeah”, you could see Lydia nod, a small grin on her face as well Negan let out a thick groan. “Not as good as mine!”, he defended himself again, though the playful look was still spread over his face as he caught you walking outside and pointed at you,“Tell them!” “He makes the best spaghetti, you should come over and try it”, you chuckled as you leaned yourself against the frame of the door and nodded at him,”I got some other good news too.” Quickly after finishing helping Judith with her math-problem you made your way back home, ecstatic to be able to spend your afternoon off together in your garden and use the beautiful weather outside to the fullest. Quickly, you switched into comfy clothes, got the sandwiches ready and prepared a comfy space outside with some thick blankets and pillows to cushion you from the grassy ground in the garden. Moving through the house you held two glasses of lemonade in your hands, made of an unopened can you’d found in the back of your pantry, the same one Negan had already loved years back. “I got a little surprise”,you said as you strolled down the porch’s stairs, grinning at Negan as he turned around from his spot on the blankets,”Was still unopened in the back of the cupboard.” “No way”, he called out, his eyes lightening up as he looked at the lemonade like a kid looked at their Christmas presents ,”Holy fuck.” Chuckling you handed Negan his glass, that he eagerly took into his hand and gulped the first sip of lemonade down. “God damn”, he called out, sighing contently as he looked down at the ,”This is like slurpin’ fucking sunrays.” Licking his lips he grinned at you as you let yourself fall next to him, sipping on your lemonade as well as Negan gestured to the sandwiches that were sprawled out over the big plate. “And now let’s get into this, I’m hungry as hell, ain’t gonna lie.”

Filled up till the rim you soon found yourself laying next to Negan, cuddled up into his side while you stared at the few clouds that travelled over the bright blue sky. Negan’s head was leaning against yours, his lips brushing against your forehead while his fingers stroke softly up and down your arm and content hums rumbled through his chest. “Fuck, this is all I wanna do tonight, just lay here all sprawled out”, his voice hummed against you as he pressed a soft kiss to your skin and nuzzled his nose into your hair.“ You don’t wanna cross off sex under the stars from your bucket list?”, you teased with a soft chuckle, hearing a small snicker fall from Negan’s lips before you could feel him slightly shaking his head. “Some other night”, he mumbled, pulling you a little closer as another sigh left his lips ,”Just wanna hold you and soak up some of that peacefulness.” “Sounds good”, you mumbled with a smile, moving in to press a kiss against his neck and you cuddled deeper into his warm embrace.

Minute for minute you enjoyed the moments with Negan outside, just relaxing and chatting while you sipped some more lemonade and watched the sun starting to move behind the treeline. The edges of the clouds gleamed brightly in the last light that got reflected onto them while the sun’s last breaths turned the sky into a beautiful mix of warm colors that melted into the blue. Smiling you glimpsed from the sky to the small daisy that you were twirling in between your Fingers, only one of the many that were sprawled out over the lawn. With a chuckle you propped yourself onto your elbow, glancing at Negan who glimpsed from the sky down at you with a curious look on his face. “Watcha doin?”, he chuckled as you leaned in to stick the daisy behind his ear, grinning as you watched his thick brows bounce up in surprise. “Just givin’ you a little makeover”, you chuckled, tilting your head bit to the side as you looked at him with a teasing grin,”Think you should wear daises more often, they really suit you.” “Well, what can I say?”, he snickered, shrugging his shoulders as the smirk on his lips grew a little wider ”I can rock any look.” “For sure”, you laughed, adjusting the flower so it wouldn’t lose its balance before you teased your fingers through his thick hair. “Makes me look really fucking intimidating, huh?”, he grinned, licking his lips as he narrowed his eyes playfully at you,”Shittin’ your pants already?” “Absolutely”, you snickered, nodding as you as Negan let out a thick laugh, the rumbling of his body enough to let the small flower slip from his ear again. “Ah shit”, he grumbled, reaching to the side of his head to grasp the daisy. He glimpsed at it for a second before he reached towards you and tucked the flower onto your ear. “Looks much better on you tho”, he chuckled, grinning softly as he looked over you and you shook your head with small laugh. “Pff I’m not so sure about that”, you snickered as you moved into cuddle up against him again, using his arm as your pillow as you looked back up into the sky. Your eyes roamed over the colors that seemed to flow into one another while the edges of light around the clouds turned from a vibrant, bright orange into a soft, milder one. “You’re such a sucker for sunsets”, you heard Negan chuckle beside you, tease swinging heavily through his voice as you glimpsed from the sky back over at him and let out a playful huff. “How can anyone not be a sucker for them?”, you chuckled as you glimpsed from your husband back up at the sky,”Really, I don’t know how that’s even possible.” Smiling your eyes swayed over the colors again, taking them in one by one, from the almost lavenderlike lilac,, to the soft pink to the warm orange. ”They’re some of the only things you can count on always being beautiful, no matter how awful everything gets. Same thing with those wildflowers”, you mumbled, sighing softly as you cuddled into to the cushions underneath your body, ”I know that sounds cheesy but they’re little reminders that not everything pretty is lost...i just-...I really like that.” You almost waited for Negan to say something, either agree with you or tease you a little more but instead, you could see him looking at you from the corner of your eyes, silently while you’d talked. Moving your head you found his hazel eyes traveling over your face, a loving, warm look stuck within them while a soft smile played around his lips. “Mhm?”, you hummed, almost waiting for him to say something but instead of hearing his voice, you saw him slowly moving in, grasping your face with one of his large hands before his lips met yours in a deep kiss. Sighing into him you kissed him back, feeling his soft lips caressing over yours while his beard stubble scrapped softly against your skin and his thumb stroke gently along your cheek. “Just fuckin’ love listening to you ramble all excited”, Negan finally mumbled as he let slowly go of his lips, though remained close as he gave you a grin,”You know that. I could hear you ramble ‘bout dog shit and I’d still listen.” Your smile mixed with a grin as you glimpsed up at him, still feeling his fingers brushing softly up and down the side of his face as he nodded at you. “So go on”, he grumbled with a grin while another chuckle fell from his lips,”I wanna hear more.” “About the dog shit or what?”, you mumbled back, watching a laugh fall from Negan’s lips as he moved his hand to give your waist a playful pinch. “’Bout the fuckin’ sunsets!” “Well this is not a complain, but you brought me out of my flow”, you mumbled, leaning up to peck his lips softly before you leaned back and watched him wink at you. “You’ll find back into it.”

You did. Somehow at least. You found yourself chatting and laughing with him while the sky turned more and more into a variety of purple and dark, lavish blue, revealing the stars the day had been hiding. Cuddled up underneath one of the blankets and enclosed in Negan’s warmth you were fully happy and peaceful, just happy about the present moment. Not thinking about the past, not worrying about the future.

11 days after Maggie’s arrival A yawn fell from your lips as you moved through the bathroom, massaging some moisturizer into your face’s tried skin as you stumbled through the door into the bedroom and found Negan already laying in bed, reading one of the books he’d taken from the farmhouse. “It’s good?”, you asked as you shut the lights down in the bathroom and closed the door behind yourself, watching as Negan’s glance quickly moved up from the pages. “Hell yeah”, he chuckled, nodding towards the book as he let out a small groan, “I need ya to read it when I’m done. Really, need someone to talk to about the fuckery that’s happening in here.” “Alright, I will”, you chuckled back, strolling over to the bed while Negan kept talking. “I mean the characters in here are awesome but fuck, there’s this one couple that’s just getting on my nuts”, he sighed as you moved in to crawl into the bed and slip underneath the warm sheets to him,”Kinda remind me of Sarah and that douchey guy from that trashy show.” “Chad?”, you asked, watching him snip his fingers as he let out a thick laugh. “Yep!”, he called out, snickering as you moved in to cuddle up into his side and allowed him to wrap his arm around you,”Fuck, it’s always’s a Chad, huh?” “Always”, you chuckled, sinking a little deeper into the cushions of the bed as you nodded towards the book, “You wanna tell me what they’re doing to be so awful?” “Don’t wanna spoiler you”, Negan grumbled, stopping for a moment as if he was pondering before he let out a sigh,”They’re just being annoying fucks all the time, fucking shit up for everyone else.” “Yeah, sounds a lot like Sarah and Chad”, you mumbled back, chuckling softly as you leaned in to nuzzle your head against his bare shoulder. “Done with the book for today?”, Negan asked, nodding towards the handbook that laid on your nightstand while you slowly nodded. “Yeah”, you mumbled, glimpsing at the book for a moment before you cuddled closer again,”Too sleepy to do more, don’t wanna write mistakes in there or mess it up with some sleepy messy handwriting.” A hum left Negan’s lips as he reached for his bookmark and slipped it between the open pages, shutting it before he laid it back onto his nightstand. “You don’t have to stop for me”, you mumbled, nuzzling your nose into his skin before you felt Negan moving over the mattress. “Mhm but I want to”, he mumbled, turning himself so he could roll onto his side, pull you closer against him and meet your lips in a slow kiss. Smiling against his lips you huddled up closer, running your hand up his chest until you could toy softly with his chesthair and hear a deep hum rumble up his throat. Sighing he slowly started to let go of you, moving his hand in to tease his thumb over your jaw while his eyes ran over your face. For a few moments it was quiet and you just found yourself glancing at him, your eyes running over his handsome face, those puppy eyes and the salt and pepper beard that was just slightly longer than usual before he thickly gulped. “How long do you think this all will go well?”, he finally spoke out, his voice heavy as he bit his lip. “Each time I only see her from afar I feel like she’s more tense...no matter how much she tries to ignore me ”, he added, sighing heavily as he shook his head slightly,”Like some fucking vulcano that’s gonna break out at some point.” “I don’t know”, you finally whispered truthfully, swallowing heavily as you tried to find no let any of your fears get the best of you,”I just know that we’ll deal with it...like we’ve done with everything else” Your voice was quiet but hopeful as you glanced up at him, your fingers moving from his chest to his face as you softly ran your fingertips through his beard, just in the very same way that usually made him relax “And Carol still has to hold up her end of the bargain, she told me she would. She’s been in and out of Alexandria for the last couple days but if I see her next time, I’ll make sure to remind her of what she said to me”, you said, stopping your soft movements for a moment as you made sure to keep his eyes looked onto yours. “We’ll find a way”, you mumbled, before a small sigh slipped from your lips as you cuddled closer into his embrace,”I don’t know how yet but we will, this is our home and I wanna build our future here...I’m not giving up on that.”

170 notes · View notes

bcdrawsandwrites · 3 years

Photo

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T

Genre: Angst

Characters: Caligosto Loboto, Loboto’s parents

Warnings: Surgery, lobotomy, hallucinations, child abuse, EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND NOTHING IS OKAY WITH THIS (but there’s nothing graphic)

Description: Just be still, and you'll be fine.

Beta Readers: @jaywings and Rocket (who I’m not sure is on Tumblr?)

Notes: who let me write Psychonauts fanfic. also some of the phrases in this fic were taken from this site.

---~~~---

“Scattering sparks of thought energy

Deliver me and carry me away”

“Here in my kingdom, I am your lord

I order you to cower and præy”

- The Mind Electric, by Tally Hall

---

Sometimes it was nice to just lay down in the park and watch the clouds float overhead.

He often had a lot of energy, both normal and... well... unnatural, but sometimes it was nice to relax, especially when he didn't feel like himself. His energy was ebbing, and there was something… something...

"Can you tell us another?"

He glanced up. Several of his usual playmates were standing around him, their faces lit up in interest. He grinned a wide, toothy grin.

"The boy babbled blatantly but was blessed with a brilliant brain!"

"Good!"

The compliment made his brow furrow. Normally they might cheer "cool!" or "awesome!" but he shrugged—he'd take it. It gave him a warm feeling inside, unlike the frequent chill of his own home. Plus, he couldn’t help but light up as he watched the smiles on his friends’ faces—some of them were still losing baby teeth, he noted, and the progression was fascinating. He knew what he could do to see more of those grins, too...

Without raising his head too much—it hurt a little, and he could see well enough from where he was—he glanced around to make sure his mother wasn't too close by. Luckily she was way off in the pavilion, talking to several other adults. Good; she wouldn't see, and neither would the other prying parents.

"How about this?" he asked, and with a tiny bit of concentration lifted a few rocks off the ground, spinning them in circles. Instead of cheering, however, the children backed away, their smiles fading.

"Look, he's trying to—!" one girl whispered frantically.

"Don't worry, he's fine for now."

He frowned, dropping the rocks. "O-oh, I'm sorry! I didn't think they would see..."

"That's okay. Can you tell us another?"

"Disappointed dogs don't do dangerous deeds." Wincing, he closed his eyes—there was a breeze that seemed to pass over his head only, running through his hair.

His scalp felt cold.

---

"Go on, Caligosto. Show the doctor how you can pick it up."

"Like this...?"

"No, the other way."

"But... mother doesn't like it when I do it that way."

"Do as you're told, Caligosto."

"...Okay..."

The fish swam all about the pond, but came closer to the surface when they realized he was watching from his usual spot on the shore. As they nearned him, he settled over the grass, staring down at his scaly friends. The fish seemed to like his company, and they wouldn't snitch to his parents if he did anything they wouldn't like.

On top of that, he felt a connection with them, almost like the sort of connection he could feel with people. They couldn't talk, and they didn't have facial expressions… but he could almost read them somehow, more and more as he continued visiting. Now he could sense what foods they wanted, or when they were scared of a nearby predator. It was nice to help them out.

It was also interesting to see the different kinds of teeth the fish had—some had sharp fangs, some had tiny flat teeth, and some had teeth in weird places, like their tongue or throat!

"Can you hear us?"

He would have jumped, but that would have scared the fish. As it was, he leaned forward, his eyes wide beneath their glasses. "Yes! I can hear you!" He could hardly contain his excitement. "I'd always thought I could hear you before, but never this clear! Do you think—"

"Good! Can you tell us another?"

He blinked. "Another what?"

"Another phrase."

Oh, right. In his excitement he'd nearly forgotten that he'd occasionally show off for the fish as well, though he'd never been sure if they could understand. "Friendly fish flip-flop fast when facing fearsome foes!"

"Very good!"

Giggling, he settled himself back down on the soft grass. "I'm glad you think so... my parents always tell me to be quiet."

Apparently, the fish had nothing to say to this, for they remained quiet, swimming just under the surface and watching him. So he kept watching them too, observing the light that reflected off their scales. But one creature caught his eye: a small turtle swimming in place. It was odd to see to begin with, but the paddling of its little feet seemed strangely frantic, its front legs moving in big sweeping arcs. It didn't speak, but he swore he could hear it—

Away, away—

---

"Is that... all he's capable of?"

"I'm afraid not."

"D—Father, are we done? I don't like it here..."

"Only speak when spoken to, Caligosto."

"Can we see anything else?"

"Yes."

"I-I don't want to—"

"Caligosto."

"Okay, okay! Let me—"

---

The seas were calm, and he had worked hard today as a navigator (or was he first mate? he couldn't quite remember, but that was okay), keeping a close eye on the compass and making sure they were staying on course. They were nearing the shore, but for now, he was taking a break, resting against a coil of rope with his eyes closed, enjoying the smell of the ocean air and the feeling of sunshine.

And also trying to forget his headache—he was pretty sure he bumped his head coming down from the crow's nest.

"You're doin' good today, mate! Squawk!"

He opened one eye, noting the parrot sitting just behind him. "Thanks, Crackers!"

Birds hadn’t been something that interested him too much at first; what kind of silly animal didn’t have teeth? That is, until he’d learned that birds have a weird organ that acted as their teeth. Fascinating!

The parrot cocked her head at him. "Do you know any more?"

Oh right, of course the parrot enjoyed those phrases. "The pretty parrot perched upon the putrid pirate's peacoat!"

Crackers gave a pleased chirp, ruffling her feathers.

Wincing, he found his headache was starting to get worse, like a bad toothache, and closed his eyes again. "Do you think we'll reach shore soon?"

We won't if you don't get out.

He opened his eyes. Crackers was gone.

---

"STOP! STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

"What are you doing?!"

"I-I just did what you asked—"

"I didn't tell you to—!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Put him out, hurry—"

"We've seen enough, doctor. We'll schedule an appointment for your son next week."

"N-next week?!"

"Very well. He'll be there promptly."

---

The kids’ expressions had changed from bright smiles to tightly-drawn lips and wide eyes, and it made him shudder. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, it's fine. Tell us another."

"The store..." He paused, concentrating. Strange, he didn't usually have trouble remembering these things, but it must have just been his headache. "The store clerk stood and... stared at me in stupor."

"I would too after what I've seen," one kid muttered, only to be shushed by another.

His heart gave a pained jolt. "Wh-what?"

"Nothing!"

He didn't like the way they were talking—it reminded him of... something else. Someone else. Another child stepped closer to him, looking down at him with a furrowed brow and frightened eyes. He felt the sudden urge to scoot away.

You're in danger.

---

"Wh...where am I supposed to go?"

"Just in through these doors."

"Okay... Why do I have to come back here to the doctor, though? I feel fine."

"Nevermind that. Do you remember what your father told you to do?"

"Yeah! The fun phrases. I know a million of those!"

"Good."

"Would you like to hear... w-wait, who are all these people watching? Wh... what are those?"

---

The fish were swimming in circles and starting to make him dizzy. He rested his head down in the cool grass, but it did little to help. "Oh... sorry. I'm not feeling so good. I should be going home..."

"You can go home soon. Tell us another first."

"Ugh... My mom... m-my... mother makes a... marvelous... meat... mincemeat pie." Recalling these phrases was starting to feel like what he imagined pulling teeth felt like, but a lot less fun. Was his mother missing him now? How long had he been gone? "I... really need to go home now."

"No you don't."

His eyes shot open, and he shivered as he stared down at the fish. "Wh... what did you... say?"

"Don't try to move. You'll be all right."

All of the fish watched him eagerly... but the turtle was still waving its front feet even more frantically.

---

"Don't worry about that."

"N-no! I know what those tools are—I've read my dad's books. You're gonna hurt me!"

"Nonsense. Just lay on the bed and you'll be fine."

"No, I don't want to! You can't make me!"

---

The ship heaved up and down with the swell of the waves. His insides rolled with it, and he remained lying on the coil of rope, waiting for his stomach to stop lurching and his head to stop aching.

"You stopped. Keep going."

"Ugh... The newt... nuzzled in a... n-narrow... nook."

"Good."

"No, it's not, Crackers! I don't feel good..."

"You're fine, squawk! Try to distract yourself."

"Okay..." Opening one eye, he raised a shaky hand, lifting the end of the rope and making it snake through the air, though it shuddered all the while. It was a lot more difficult than usual... Normally he could lift several objects at once, and delighted the crew by juggling them. He felt like he should be able to do other things too, but what?

---

"Oh mercy! He's going to kill someone!"

"Caligosto, if you don't stop this at once, I will call your father!"

"So call him! I want him here! Why didn't he come with me?!"

"Oh no, he's trying to light the chair on fire—"

"Go get the earmuffs, now."

"MOM! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"GET THEM NOW!"

---

The sun was covered in clouds, and the humid air brought a promise of rain. Why were the other kids still here? Surely their parents would have called them home by now. He wished they would. Surely his mom would have called him, too, wouldn't she?

"Tell us another," one girl asked urgently, taking a hesitant step forward.

His head was swimming. "I-I don't wanna..."

"Tell us now."

Focusing, he managed to force his mind to concentrate. "She sniffed... and s-smelled... the stirring storm."

"Good, tell us another," one fish bubbled from the water.

A sharp pain like a broken tooth filled his skull, his insides felt sick, and the rain was beginning to fall. "I... I can't..."

"Tell us, Caligosto."

"B... Bernie read a book... b-by the... ba—babbling brook." He wanted to wipe the rain from his face, but he felt too exhausted to move his arms. "C-can I go... home..."

"Squawk! We're not to shore yet. Give me another."

He stared up at the blurred vision of the bird. "Why...?"

"Do as you're told."

"Th-the... hummingbirds... hovered... a-and hummed in... heavenly..." His voice broke off into a choked sob. "I wanna... no... I wanna... go home..."

"Caligosto?"

---

"I WANT TO GO HOME!"

"Get it on him, get it on—"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Where did he go?!"

"The monster's turned invisible!"

"I WANNA GO HOME!"

"There! Put it on right—there!"

"STOP, I WANNA—"

---

"...go home!"

He blinked.

"You are home, Cali," his mother said, beaming down at him with a wide, pearly-white grin.

"I am?" Blinking again, he looked around. Indeed, he was in front of his house, with his parents both standing on the front porch, as they had been when he'd left. On top of that, his head didn't hurt and he didn't feel sick. "I... I am!"

"You're all done with the doctors now," his father said, smiling. "We're so proud of you!"

"You... you are?" He stared open-mouthed; his father had never told him that before. "I'm all done?"

"Yes you are, dear." His mother knelt down, but he didn't come closer—something was making his hair stand on end. "Almost."

His stomach twisted.

"Just tell us another, son."

"N... no..."

The smile on his father's face faded. "Do as you're told, Caligosto."

"N-no... no, no..." He tried to shake his head, but couldn't. "I... I want to go home..."

The pain was coming back, spiking through his head, and he cried out.

"We're going to lose him—"

"No, just a little more."

"No," he sobbed. "No, no! Mom! Dad!"

The park was flooding. The fish were swirling around his head. Waves crashed over the boat.

He had to do something. Anything.

Focusing with everything he had left, he tried to think, tried to move something, tried to make something burn, tried to call for help—

Did—did you hear that?

Cali?

The agony peaked, and his vision turned orange.

---

"Ooooh... ugh..."

"Is this safe?"

"It's safe for us. The psilirium will keep him under control during the procedure."

"But can he still hear us?"

"Son, can you tell us one of your funny phrases?"

"Sure... grass grows greener in the graveyard."

"You see? He'll be fine."

---

There was no park.

There was no pond.

There was no ocean.

There were several doctors staring down at him, a great many more people seated in the theater behind them, and an empty feeling within him.

Something was gone. Something important.

"How do you feel, Caligosto?"

His brain was slow to work, and he could not form the words, but if he could have, he would have answered:

Like... a cavity.

#dr loboto #loboto #caligosto loboto #psychonauts #my art #my writing #fanfic #who let me in this fandom

94 notes · View notes

raysofcrosby · 3 years

Note

37 and 45 for matty please!

37. “welcome to fatherhood” + 45. “you’re getting a vasectomy. that’s final.” w/ matty tkachuk

The one thing you and Matt both agreed on from the moment you got married and even before, was that you wanted to have at least, 4 kids. He grew up with a brother and sister while you grew up an only child, both of you wanted your future kids to experience life with a sibling by their side.

And Matt especially had been eager to start a family from the moment the words “I do” left both of your mouths. He spent most of your reception whispering into your ear all of the things he had planned for the nigh, how he couldn’t wait to get you alone and just how excited he was for your honeymoon in Turks and Caicos— “I hope you don’t plan on leaving the room for the first two days...you know, adjust to the time difference and all.”

It was only an hour time difference between Turks and Caicos and your permanent summer residence in St. Louis, but Matt didn’t care— it didn’t matter, and the two of you definitely didn’t leave the room until your third day into your two-week honeymoon.

Which is why it was no surprise to anyone that you found out you were pregnant a little over two months later when you were packing up to go to Calgary for the season. You were packing up some of the bathroom stuff when you came across a box of tests from your bachelorette party when it was decided the group of you would play “pregnancy test roulette” which thankfully— no one was actually pregnant.

But there was one left and instead of taking it with you or just leaving it behind, you decided to use it and see if maybe the back to back...to multiple back nights on your honeymoon and even then after, resulted in you being pregnant. Matt came into the bathroom, having stripped down to his gym shorts by the time he reached your bathroom only to see you holding the pee stick in hand.

“Is that?”

“I’m pregnant.”

He only stood there shocked for a few seconds before he swept you up into his arms and kissed you, the excitement shining in his blue eyes as he put you down and smiled. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

Your pregnancy was actually...pretty idyllic when it came to first pregnancies. Your appointments all went perfect, you were in good health throughout and even though at most times you were sure that your moodiness would chase Matt away at any given moment, he never faltered. He was with you every step of the way whenever the Flames schedule permitted it.

He took pictures of the ultrasounds to send to family, if he was on the road he’d always send you a text asking for a bump date, and then get a little cheeky asking straight up for a size check on your chest because he ‘wanted to see how the boobs are looking.’ He was loving, attentive and you felt more than lucky to be able to have him with you throughout.

You were sitting in the friends and family box at a Flames game when your water broke all over the nice fancy carpet floor of the suite. Both your Mom and Matt’s were helping you out of the suite, your last words to Keith before leaving for the hospital being “tell him my water broke, but do not let him leave this game!” A wish that Keith abided by and that Matt, when in an intermission, sent you texts worrying about missing the birth. You assured him that you doubted that you’d be having a baby in the 20 minutes of third period hockey.

The Flames won, Matt skipped media and came rushing to the hospital to be by your side, making it right as you were getting your epidural. Your families were in the room with you, waiting to pass the time and trying to distract you from your contractions. By the time you were fully dismayed, both you and Matt were escorted to the delivery room Brady yelling out via FaceTime that he hoped Matt didn’t pass out.

Out of all the books and websites you read and from the stories some of the WAGS had shared from their experience and friends experience, the pain was definitely worth it in the end. At one point, you thought that Brady’s chirp might actually come to fruition and Matt would pass out, since he was starting to look a little pale, but thankfully it never happened and his color returned once that small little cry erupted throughout the room, bringing the both of you to tears as he brushed your hair back and kissed your forehead, whispering small praises as you held the baby on your chest.

Grayson Tkachuk proved to be every bit his father. From the moment he was born— he was just always fussy. Fussy when he was tired, when he was hungry, when he was and and even when he was happy, he couldn’t stay still and couldn’t stay quiet. You were thankful that both of yours and Matt’s parents stayed around for a few weeks to help you and Matt adjust to parenting, especially you since right after Grayson was born, that following week was the Flames longest road series of the season.

Your late night FaceTimes with Matt and even the ones he had on free days, you could see that he was feeling sad and even a bit guilty that he wasn’t there to help you out. But you assured him that your parents were a great help and that if he felt so bad, he could change the first dirty diaper Grayson had the moment Matt came back. “Sure, it can’t be that bad.”

Matt came back late one night, your parents were all away in their guest rooms and you were struggling to fall asleep after Grayson’s last feeding. You felt gross, tired and in desperate need of a shower, but that didn’t stop Matt from cuddling you into the bed and kissing you endlessly.

“How’s my baby?” He mumbled, kissing along your jaw.

“He’s sleeping, thankfully.”

“No, my other baby.” He laughed, leaning up on an elbow. “You, you dork.”

“Oh, I’m—“ Graysons cry came through the baby monitor and you sighed, nudging him away and standing up. “I’m feeling like that.”

He shook his head and for up with you. “Come on, let’s go see our baby.”

You walked down the hall to Graysons nursery, his cries getting louder as you neared the crib. You knew what kind of cry it was, ready to tell Matt what he needed before he picked up Grayson and shook his head. “His butt is heavy.”

“Diaper change, Matty.” You laughed, walking with him over tot he changing table. You helped Matt get Grayson undressed from his onesie, Matt instantly gagging at the smell the was coming from Grayson.

“Oh my God, it’s leaking!” He groaned, shoving his nose into the crook of his elbow and looking at you with pleasing eyes. “He burst the diaper.”

“You called dibs on the first diaper change of your return home. You smiled, leaning up and kissing his cheek as you patted his shoulder. “Welcome to fatherhood, Matty.”

Eight years and three kids later, you’d become all too familiar with those signs of pregnancy— or so you thought you had. Grayson was a random positive pregnancy test, Madelyn was a ‘watch your period tracking app religiously’ planned kind of pregnancy and Sienna was not quite planned, since you found out you were pregnant with her only 7 months after having Madelyn.

You and Matt loved having the three of them so close in age—Eight, six and five— and while the three were also at each other’s throats over the smallest of things, toys, food, who’s car seat went where, they were also all extremely close. Most mornings, it wasn’t rare to find both girls cuddled with their big brother in his bed, or him sleeping on the floor in between their beds.

Their favorite time of the year, which also happened to be yours and Matt’s as well, was when both families got together at the Tkachuk’s lake house during the week leading up to the 4th of July. It was endless days of laughter, watching your kids play with their cousin and coo over the newest and smallest member, a baby boy Emma and Brady had welcomed only two months earlier, making their four year old son Tucker, a big brother.

Nights spent grilling out and enjoying the night summertime air only to wake up early the next morning to go out on the water— you loved it all. It was arguably the best time of the year.

Until the worst stomach cramps you ever felt in your entire life, ended up with Matt rushing you to the hospital where doctors listened to your assumptions of maybe it being your appendix. It was...a pleasant surprise when they came back and told you that you were pregnant before being told to relax while they brought an ultrasound tech in to make sure that everything was going okay.

“Pregnant.” You huffed, rolling up the tank top and stuffing it beneath your bathing suit top. “Pregnant! I was just pregnant!”

“Actually...it’s been awhile, five years. We wanted to wait a bit since Mads and Sie were so close in age.” He replied, spinning himself around in the stool. “And hey, with this being baby number four, we reached our goal.”

“And after baby number four, I’m staying celibate.” You mumbled.

You went back on birth control after Sienna was born, but it just never agreed with you. Through the last five years, you’d been through the implant, the pill, the iud— and all of them messed with your hormones so much that you and Matt went strictly back to condoms, much to both of your disdain for them.

“Alright, Y/N, I’m here to check to see what’s going on with your little one today,” the tech smiled, walking into the room. “Not your first rodeo?” She laughed, picking up the gel as she nodded at your rolled up t-shirt.

“Our fourth.” You replied, no longer phased by the cold feeling against your skin.

“Well congratulations again,” she smiled, turning on the ultrasound machine before picking up the wand. “I assume that you know what this is?”

You and Matt both nodded as she placed the wand against your belly, moving it around. “Can we do that thing we did with Madelyn? Guess the gender and whoever’s right gets to pick the name?” Matt smiled, holding your hand as he rested his chin on your arm.

“As long as you don’t turn it into a bet with your teammates.” You nodded, glaring at him. “I’m still not amused with the fact you almost let Sienna’s middle name be Sam because Sam guessed the gender correctly.”

“Sam’s not too bad—“

“Sienna Sam Tkachuk?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “It doesn’t flow Matthew! If this is a boy, we’ll let him use his winning bet as a middle name, but no more bets with the guys.”

The ultrasound tech laughed as Matt started to blush. “Okay, agreed.” He said, kissing your knuckles before looking towards the tech. “So how’s baby number four looking?”

“Well, you’re definitely not around 8 weeks like you thought you were. You’re more around 12 weeks and the babies are doing great. The pain you felt was probably more having to do with your pelvic floor trying to prepare for them.”

“See, babe? The babies are fine.” Matt smiled, looking at you before snapping his head back to her. “Wait, babies?”

“Babies,” she smiled, turning the screen towards the both of you and pointing at the three different figures on the screen. “Baby A, Baby B and Baby C, and they’re all looking good in measurements and I don’t see any worry you should be having.”

Your jaw dropped and you felt Matt’s grip on your hand fall as the both of you stared at the screen in shock. “Babies...plural...three,” you said, letting out a small laugh. “Triplets?! I’m having triplets?!”

“Mhhm, and I’ll get these scans for you. But just know that they’re doing great and with multiples, your doctor is probably going to want you to check in a lot more. So when you go back home, be sure to make an appointment as soon as you can.” She smiled, handing you a paper towel before walking to leave the room.

Matt got up and walked towards the screen, staring at it before squatting down beside you and staring at your belly, poking it. “Huh...I guess I can kinda see a bump. I can’t believe there’s three mini us’s in there.” He turned to you with a big smile, only to let it falter as soon as he saw your glaring eyes.

“You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”

#shawnsreputation #answered #raysofcrosby blurbs

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kinglazrus · 3 years

Text

Not Your Danny – Ch 1. Moving Day

Phic Phight | Next | FFN | AO3

Submitted by @ecto-american: After Danny’s untimely death, his family and friends turn to Dani for comfort. She was so much like him in every single way. And she never felt more like a clone. A replacement for the “real” thing.

Summary: Maddie and Jack learn a lot of things about their son after his death: his powers, his secret life as the local hero, the truth behind his accident three years ago. And his clone who is so much like their boy. When Dani gets the offer to join their home, she thinks it's too good to be true. And she just might be right.

Word count: 2761

Two weeks after Danny dies, Danielle moves into his bedroom. It's a lacklustre affair. Dani has no belongings to bring with her, except the few trinkets stuffed in the pockets of her shorts. She only owns one pair of clothes, two of you want to be technically and count her ghost form. But that's tenuous at best when you consider the circumstances of her creation, and that her clothes were created withher, not given to her. She doesn't like to think about that too much, though.

Neither of Danny's parents are home for the occasion. Dani doesn't blame them. Her face time with Maddie and Jack Fenton over the past three years equals an hour at most—hour and a half if she really pushes it. And most of that time was with an ectogun between them. If she counts the times where she hasn't been staring down a glowing green barrel, then it's probably only five minutes, maybe less. And that only happened a few days ago.

Suffice to say, Dani and the Fentons don't have a good relationship, or a relationship of any kind. So she doesn't blame them for being out of the house when their dead son's clone, who they only recently found out about, takes over his bedroom. Although take over might be too strong of a phrase.

Dani floats next to Jazz, hovering in front of Danny's open bedroom door.

"Is it... okay?" Jazz asks.

Dani drifts inside, turning her head from side to side as she looks around. She likes the blue walls, and the open brick on the outer wall is kind of cool. The bed, covered in a purple bead spread, topped with a fluffy pillow, looks softer than anything she's ever slept on. The room is nice, if a bit messy with Danny's stuff still inside. Posters decorate the wall, some about space, others from some band called Dumpty Humpy. The shelves are stuffed full of books and model spaceships. His dirty clothes lie next to an open hamper in the corner of the room.

The sight surprises Dani more than anything.

"What are you gonna do with his stuff?" she asks. "Do people usually just," she gestures toward the room, "leave it like this?"

"What? No." Jazz shakes her head and quickly wipe her hand across her eyes. "When someone dies, their family or friends eventually pack their stuff away. Not always right away, though."

"Two weeks isn't long enough?"

Jazz's breath hitches. "Don't– don't say that. It's inconsiderate."

Dani's cheeks go hot at Jazz's admonishing tone. "Oh. Sorry." She floats further into the room, if only to escape the awkward air settling between them.

If Dani didn't know any better, she would guess that Danny had just stepped outside for a second and would be back any moment. Lowering herself to the floor, Dani settles on the carpet and walks toward the desk. A controller of some kind sits on the desk chair, its cord tangled with a headset. Dani picks the controller up and turns it over in her hand. She only vaguely recognizes the X logo in the middle of it; her travels over the past couple of years haven't exactly involved a lot of gaming. Or any.

There was a small handheld system she picked up at a garage sale once. She carried it for a few months but lost it somewhere along the way.

Dani tosses the controller onto the chair and turns back to Jazz. "So, now what?"

"Well, if you're not comfortable with Danny's things still being in here, we can get some boxes and start packing. I think we have some in the basement. If you want." Jazz tacks on the last three words with a soft voice.

"No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, course." It's just stuff, after all. Dani doesn't quite get it, which also means she doesn't care. If the Fentons don't want to move Danny's stuff yet, then it can stay. He was their son before he was Dani's cousin/DNA source.

"Okay. I guess I'll just... let you get settled, then. I have to work on some plans for the memorial, but Mom and Dad should be home in a couple hours. They said they wouldn't be gone long," Jazz says.

Dani nods. A few seconds of silence pass, and once it's obvious that neither of them is going to say anything more, Jazz turns and walks down the hall. Finally alone, Dani lets her ghost form fall away. The transformation rings prickle as their bright light ghosts over her skin, and when it fades, she's left in her typical shorts and hoodie. Dani rubs her arms until the prickling fades, then flops onto the bed.

Damn. It really is the softest thing she's ever lain on. And the blankets are warm. They smell like Danny, too. That's something Dani never thought she would think. She didn't even realize Danny had a smell, but it's hard to ignore now. It's not the most tangible smell. The best word Dani can find to describe it is crisp, like a cold day. She would bet her beanie that it was because of his ice powers, an ability they had never shared.

Dani shakes her head. Everything is weird enough right now. The last thing she needs to be contemplating is how Danny used to smell. It's also, like, a super creepy line of thought, yeah? Yeah.

As she stares up at the ceiling, a blur of movement catches her eye. Her gaze jumps toward it, in the corner of the bedroom closest to the door. A small brown lump clings to the ceiling. A bug, no doubt. Dani can't tell what kind, and she doesn’t care enough to find out. It's not too surprising, considering how messy Danny's room is. There's probably some old pizza hiding under his bed or something.

Dani rolls onto her side and closes her eyes. A little bug doesn't bother her, not after the places she's slept. And if the Fentons won't be home for a while, and Jazz is busy, she might as well take advantage of her new bed and the next few hours to get some shuteye. God knows she needs it.

—

Maddie feels sorry for Vlad's receptionist. She bears a striking resemblance to Maddie herself, with short auburn hair just a touch redder than Maddie's own, a curvy frame, and a sharp, pointed chin. She's even wearing blue, bless her heart. The girl is pretty, and young, and kind. Can't be too far out of high school, and hoping a job at the mayor's office will look good on her resume. Maddie hopes it pays off. The girl deserves it for putting up with Vlad daily. Working for him seems to be taking a toll on her, judging by the distressed look in her eyes when she looks up from Vlad's appointment book.

"I'm sorry, there's no appointment for you. I don't know if I can let you in," she says.

Maddie sighs. "Mr. Masters left me a message"—or several—"asking me to come in."

"I'm really sorry, but he didn't mention expecting you... oh no." The receptionist's eyes widen and she starts digging through papers on her desk. "Did I forget to write it down again? He got so upset last time."

Maddie reaches out and touches her shoulder, stopping the frantic search. "It's all right, dear. It's not your fault."

She suspected, when Vlad left numerous messages on her cellphone rather than calling the house, that something more was up. How Vlad even got her cellphone number she doesn't want to know. She will also be changing it very soon thanks to this incident.

"He's particular about his meetings," the receptionist says. "I really can't let you in."

"Just let him know I'm here, and I'll take care of the rest."

The receptionist nods. While she goes for the phone, Maddie steps away from the desk and turns back to the waiting area. It's empty besides her and the receptionist—not surprising this early on a Monday, and all the better for Maddie. She pulls her cellphone from her purse and checks the time; It's just after eight. Dani is due at Fenton Works soon, but Maddie and Jack won't be back until noon, at least. The reminder makes her wince.

Missing half of Dani's first day at home isn't ideal, but Maddie wants to get this meeting over with as fast as possible. They had other plans in the city, anyway, made before they invited Dani into their home. Better to get everything done at once.

Maddie eyes plush waiting room armchairs, wondering if there's any point in sitting down, when the receptionist calls out, "Mrs. Fenton?"

Maddie opens her mouth to answer, but her phone—still in her hand—buzzes at that moment. Jack's name stretches across the screen. "Excuse me." She steps toward the elevators on the far side of the room and turns her back to the receptionist, the closest semblance of privacy she can get, before answering her phone. "Hey, Jack. Is your meeting done already?"

"Not even close! How goes the shopping?"

"Fine so far. I forgot we didn't ask...." She tenses, feeling the receptionist's stare at her back. "We didn't ask what she might need, so I'm just grabbing the basics. Do you want me to pick something up for you? Are you waiting on the park board?"

"About that... I'm with them now, and—what day did we settle on for the memorial, again?"

Maddie shakes her head, but not out of annoyance. Jack forgetting the day hardly surprises her. He tends to forget the little details. If anything, it makes her feel grounded. The past two weeks have been a lot, to put it lightly. A lot of changes. A lot of revelations. But she can always rely on Jack to be his usual self.

"A month from today," she says.

"Thanks, baby! You're the best! See you later." The phone beeps as Jack hangs up. Maddie sighs while the corner of her lip twitches upwards. It's the closest she's come to smiling since Danny died. She holds like that for a moment, caught between the ache choking her heart and the desire for things to get better. They won't, not for a long time. She won't fool herself into thinking otherwise. But it's nice, for a moment, to pretend things might be okay.

"Leaving Jack alone with the DPR? I feel sorry for them." Vlad's slimy voice ruins the moment after the first syllable.

Maddie tenses, clutching her phone tighter, and turns to face him. "Vlad. It's bad business to ask for a meeting, then make your guest wait."

When Vlad smiles, his whitened teeth cut a bright slash across his cheeks. It's too wide, too sharp. Never reaches his eyes. Maddie remembers, long ago, when Vlad had a soft smile. He used it sparingly, doling it out to only the most deserved. She can't imagine him smiling like that now.

"Well, I don't mean to be presumptive, but when I phone a friend hoping for a visit, I expect them to stop by my house, not my work."

"Your mistake, then."

The receptionist's typing falters. Her have yet to stray from her screen, but Maddie already knows she's listening in. Vlad probably does, too.

"Natalie!" he snaps.

The receptionist jerks upright. "Yes, sir?"

Vlad rests a hand on Maddie's back and pushes her forward. She moves, if only to step out of his reach, and heads toward his office. Vlad reaches into his suit jacket as he walks. He pulls out his wallet and pinches a few random bills, tugging them out without looking. "Take a break. I'm sure you could use a coffee to perk you up."

He leans in front of Maddie to drop the bills on Natalie's desk. The contact makes Maddie grimace, and she hurries ahead into his office. When she turns, Vlad is already closing the door. The last thing Maddie sees of the waiting room is Natalie's frown as she glances at a paper cup sitting in plain view on her desk.

"Now, Maddie." Vlad turns. Rather than heading to his desk, he steps toward Maddie and touches her arm. "How are you doing?"

"You left me seven messages just so you could ask that?" Maddie brushes Vlad's hand off. In three long strides, she cuts across his office and takes one of the visitor's chairs. While the waiting room had plush armchairs, these are made of dark wood, armless, with firm leather cushions and straight backs. A deliberate choice, no doubt.

Vlad comes up beside her, his hand on the second chair. Before he can sit, Maddie swings her purse off her shoulder and drops it on the empty cushion. Vlad pauses, glances between her and the bag, but relents and takes his seat at the desk instead.

His chair sits considerably higher than Maddie's.

"I can imagine the pain you're going through right now," he says.

Maddie's fists clench. "Can you really?"

"Believe it or not, yes, I can." He pauses, giving her a chance to respond. But whatever question he wants her to ask, whatever game he wants to play, Maddie refuses to give in. She might have put up with him once, but after what he's done, he will be lucky if she willingly suffers his presence ever again after today.

She waits for Vlad to elaborate.

"I'm sure you've wondered, all this time, where Danny went whenever he disappeared for hours. Being our city's young hero explains a lot of it, yes, but to be honest, that wasn't everything." Vlad stops to take a deep breath, closing his eyes for a brief moment. It's quite the performance. "To tell you the truth, he was often with me."

Bullshit! Maddie wants to shout, but she bites it back. Her jaw aches from how hard she clenches her teeth.

"I discovered his secret a long time ago and gave him a safe place away from home. You know, when conversation at the dinner table got to be too much." Vlad pauses again, letting his words sink in.

Maddie hates that she knows exactly what he means. All those times she and Jack discussed their inventions, their plans for when they finally captured the ghost boy. Most of what Vlad is saying might be a lie, but the truth within it cuts her deeply. "Really?"

Vlad might think himself a great actor, but he's apparently ignorant to Maddie's own deception. He nods at her questioning tone, eyes low and mouth pressed into a grim line. "I understand this is hard to hear. I did my best to make him feel safe, and we actually became close. Over the years, I came to think of him as something of a son. And his death has affected me deeply."

He stands, trailing his hand along his desk as he walks around toward Maddie. His shoulders droop, as if Danny's absence weighs on him. It really is a good performance. Peering closer, Maddie sees that he even looks pallid, and purple bags rest under his eyes. A look easily accomplished with some pale foundation and smudged eyeshadow.

"It's like a piece of me is missing without him. I'm sure you feel the same. We need each other, Maddie. To make us whole again."

Vlad reaches toward her, but she ducks away from him, slipping out of her chair. His hand falls through the empty air and he stumbles, nearly falling into the chair.

Now he's being ridiculous, Maddie thinks. She could have fallen for the makeup and the sob story if she didn't know better, but the off balance act? The distressed look in his eye when she pulls away? She's insulted that he thinks she would fall for it.

"You're right Vlad. I'm in pain. Danny is gone and it feels like he took a piece of me with him when he died. But I have my family to help me through it." She grabs her purse off the other chair and heads for the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

"Madeline, please—"

"Vladimir!" Her shout tears at her throat. She turns on him, blinking to fight back the burn in her eyes. He stands frozen where she left him, crumpled pathetically against her empty chair, one hand still outstretched. Maddie swallows the lump in her throat. "Enough."

She leaves without another word.

#phic phight #phic phight 2021 #notyourdanny #nyd chapter one #phanfic #phicc #dp fanfiction #danny phantom #dani phantom #danielle phantom #hurt/comfort #family #danny phantom fanfiction #trans danny #trans danny fenton

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xmyshya · 3 years

Text

Shoved it: chapter III - Kickflip

summary: You don’t like skaters. They’re unruly, misbehaved and rude. But this one encounter just might change your view. genre: fluff warnings: tooth-rotting fluff (seriously, make a dentist appointment), slow burn, mutual pining betas: @vanille–kiss as always I’m eternally grateful to you, I love you lots a/n: Written for ANILYSIUM (former HQHQ) Server Collab with the prompt “Meet Ugly”. Check the event’s masterlist here! series navi: masterlist | previous | next wc: 1.7k

This is it, you think staring out the window. This is the last tutoring session. Something makes you sad about it, and as if the world tried to be sympathetic, it’d been raining since morning. Early afternoon brought thunders and a downpour so dense, it looked like a fog. You shift your gaze to refocus on the boy on the opposite side of the desk.

“So, ready for the big day?”

“I don’t think I’d be more ready, even if we sat for another week.” He shrugs.

“Time to go home, then.”

You lift from the chair and pack your things, and after a second he does the same. Even though it stopped raining some time ago, puddles are still lake sized and streets have yet to stop being rivers. You’re not really keen on leaving the school building, but it’s evening, your bus leaves soon, and you’re hungry.

“I’m gonna go on ahead.” You say before he can stop you.

This is it, he thinks after you disappear behind the door. He really wants it to last longer, to spend more time in a quiet empty classroom with you. A sigh leaves his lips as he runs a hand through his hair, looking around the dark room for the last time before locking it up.

There’s still at least an hour before his bus arrives, so Rin drags his feet to the lockers before switching to his street shoes and walking out of the building. Everything is flooded, and he sighs again, slumps his shoulders and shoves his hands into pockets. At least it’s not raining anymore.

Suna sees you still waiting at the stop and wonders if this is his chance. Maybe it’s a sign from heavens for him to speak to you, to be friends or maybe even ask you out. You’re focused on your phone, eyes not registering the approaching boy and the car, splashing fountains on its path.

Acting purely on instinct, he reaches you in a few long strides and pulls you away from the curb just in time. Luck isn’t on his side though, as the vehicle passes at the exact same moment, soaking him from head to toe.

“Well… fuck.”

Shocked; this is how you feel after realising what has just happened. The boy who has been pestering you for the past weeks, the one you did your utmost best to avoid, is standing right in front of you completely drenched. It would be you, if he didn’t react; it should have been you.

“Th-thank you.” You mutter while playing with the hem of your uniform. “Do you live far?”

“No, but I still have an hour before the bus arrives.”

Suna tries to wring the water from his uniform, but no matter how much he squeezes and twists, liquid still pours in thick streams. You try to suppress the urge to brush the wet hair stuck to his face and notice him shivering.

“Oh, uhh… My bus will be here in a moment, and” you feel the embarrassment heat up your cheeks, “I live 2 stops away, so you can come and dry yourself first. If you want, I mean.”

The weight of his stare is almost unbearable, but you miss the blush creeping up his neck and ears, not daring to look back. His voice is quiet and shaky, as he responds with

“Yeah, I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

Rin still can’t believe he’s on the way to your house. Opting to stay by the door so as not to wet the whole floor he wishes the circumstances were different, and he wasn’t soaked to the bone, but he’s not picky. If this is what it takes to change your perspective, then so be it.

He sighs, as he runs his hand through sopping hair. Nervousness starts to get to him, words get lost in his head as his mind presses to say something, anything. Since when does he have trouble speaking to a girl?

For some reason his heart is pounding and palms are sweaty, though (he hopes) it might also be because of the incident. So for now, Suna opts to watch you stare at the passing landscapes, as if you were afraid to meet his eyes.

“This is our stop.” You finally say as the bus slows down.

***

Panic strikes when you enter home. Do you even have any clothes that would fit? There are some old sweats and t-shirts of your dad, but it’s difficult to say if the size is right. Not to mention that it’s the first time you invited a boy to your house, and your parents aren’t even here.

After leading him to a bathroom, you disappear in the storage room in search of something for Suna to change into. You grab some pants and t-shirt, and go back to him.

“You should take a hot shower, otherwise you might get a cold. I’ll put your uniform in the dryer afterwards.”

You hand him a wrapped bundle and pull a towel from a drawer. Just as you’re about to leave, Suna mutters a quiet “thank you”, and for the first time you genuinely smile at him.

When he walks out of the bathroom, you’re in the living room surrounded by piles of books and notes; your attention shifts to his presence only after he speaks.

“I hope you don’t mind, I already turned the dryer on. Didn’t want to trouble you.”

His hair is still damp from the shower, and the sweatpants are a little too short, but at least they’re dry. With each lift of his hand to rub the towel at his hair, the t-shirt slides up revealing his toned abdomen. It takes a lot of energy not to sneak a peek.

“Trouble?” You’re confused by his statement. “It’s my fault this even happened in the first place, I should have-”

“Listen, I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to, okay?” He rubs his neck nervously and the shirt rides up again. “So don’t blame yourself.”

You only nod in response, too flustered to push words through your throat. All of a sudden you remember about the mess around, despite having a guest.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, I just have so much backlog to work on, I’ll clean this up!”

“No!” Rintarou notices your little shiver. “I mean, you don’t have to… I’ve been holding you back, so just… don’t mind me.” A moment of silence fills his mind with guilt. “Hey uhh, do you mind if I get us a snack?”

Now you’ve done it. There’s a visitor, his first time at your place, and a first boy at your place, and not only are you ignoring him for the sake of homeworks, you also failed at hospitality completely by not offering any food. It is late, and neither of you had dinner yet.

“Ah! I’ll get it! You’re a guest after all!” You almost jolt out from under the table, but a hand on your shoulder keeps you in place.

“No no, please, I don’t want to be any more of a bother. You’ve been helping me with school and now I’m just intruding, so let me do this for you.”

“Okay.”

***

When Suna comes back with two plates of omurice, you’re deeply immersed in your studies. He places the dishes carefully in vacant spots, the gentle knock against the table grabs your attention, and cotton-candy-like warmth spreads in your chest. You expected a snack, some yoghurts or a bowl of nuts, or whatever else, not a warm dinner with a “ganbare” written on it.

Papers are shoved to the far end of the top, making space for the hot food. It looks delicious and you can’t wait to taste it. You clear your throat and speak hoping it would distract you from that feeling spreading in your chest.

“Would you like to watch something while we eat?”

“Sure, do you mind if I…”

He gestures between his and your side of the table; you shake your head and shift to make room for him, which he fills right away.

Omurice is indeed mouth-watering, creamy and well seasoned, and in response to your surprised expression he simply says “I have a younger sister, I can make a thing or two”. The more you know about the boy, the more you like him. You try to dismiss it as just admiring him as a person, convince yourself that it’s nothing but a surprise.

It proves to be difficult, however, when you barely register what’s on the screen, because of his proximity; it’s hard, when every brush of your arms against each other sends sparks to your brain; it’s tough, when you can feel his warmth radiating from his body and you want to be engulfed by it.

It’s nearly impossible, when you lean back on your palms, but his hand is already there, and you cover it with yours. Both of you jolt with hearts thumping violently, praying that maybe, just maybe, the other one doesn’t hear it.

After that neither of you moves, eyes trained on the screen but somehow not registering the events at all. In an attempt to ground yourself, you support your chin with your hand, and that’s the last thing you remember.

Rin hears your soft snores and, seeing your peaceful and relaxed expression, smiles as he brushes some stray strands off your face. He’s already overstayed his welcome, uniform long forgotten in the dryer. It’s wrinkled and still smells like a puddle, guess he’ll just have to give you these clothes back on the next day.

Not wanting to trouble you any more than he already has, Suna brings the plates to the kitchen, arranges books and papers in neat piles, and covers you with a blanket lying nearby. He catches himself almost planting a kiss on your forehead.

Before scooping all his stuff and walking out, he scribbles a quick note:

“My clothes were dry and I didn’t want to wake you. Don’t work too hard. See you tomorrow :)”

Taglist: @kageyamas-love @mikasbloodbag

#haikyuu x reader #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #suna fluff #suna rintarou fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #suna x y/n #suna rintarou x y/n #hq fluff #hq x reader #hq x y/n #anilysium server collab #shoved;it #mysh.whitedwarf.[hq]

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def-initely-soul · 3 years

Text

house rules {2}

pairing: jimin x reader (f.)

genre: fluff; angst; roommates au; kinda new girl au; smut; f2l au

rating: explicit

warnings: sexual content; mention of emotional abuse; mention of manipulative relationship; mention of body issues; explicit smut

words: 19.6k

summary:

↠ {living with two guys has always its pros and cons. Pros being someone will always get you popcorn for your midnight cravings. Cons being you might like one of them…?} ↞

or alternatively, the shenanigans of five friends, where two of them are in a loving relationship, one is Kim Seokjin and the other two don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

Next morning, on Christmas eve, you try to be as nonchalant as you can. Thankfully your walls are thick enough so no one took notice of your late-night shenanigans and what happened between you before Hoseok’s interruption was barely anything out of the ordinary.

Thankfully you get yourself distracted with the preparations for this evening. Every year the five of you plan a traditional Christmas dinner, idea courtesy of Hoseok’s and Seokjin’s minds, where every single one of you was assigned to different tasks.

Seokjin is in charge of the roasted turkey, as he is every year, Hoseok will cook his famous vanilla-roasted sweet potatoes, Jimin will prepare a cauliflower soup and Ana is always in charge of the desert. This year choosing the recipe of a Buche de Noel.

You’re left with the simple task of making smooth mashed potatoes and bringing the booze.

Even though simpler than what others have to do, it gives you time to be alone and focus on something else other than Jimin. Whether you’re cooking or going to the store to pick up the alcohol, your time is productively filled with anything other than thoughts of him.

You take a nap around midday, leaving the kitchen free for the guys to use. Taking a hold of this opportunity to stay clear of Jimin’s gaze. You make sure your interactions are limited between the lines of what is only necessary, even when the preparations are done and you sit around the table.

Ana and Seokjin arrive together, the turkey the size of a small TV, which Seokjin himself puts on the table. Not letting anyone else help him or carve it, flashbacks of last year when Jimin tried to carve it and nearly dropped it still etched to everyone’s memory.

You help Ana move the desert to the fridge for later, and as all of you take your places at the dinner table, you feel a particular set of eyes on you.

Thankfully you don’t sit next to him so you don’t have any one-on-one conversation like you do with Seokjin sitting to your right. You only talk to him when the conversation involves the whole group and that’s only to not alert anyone that something is off.

Your mind is swarmed with memories of Jimin’s look. With the way he’s looking at you now.

You ignore it in favour of talking to Ana at the end of the table as she rumbles excitedly about the party next week. You immerse yourself in that conversation, going lightly over some details and pouring another glass of wine as Seokjin passionately joins you.

Although, even if you’re engrossed to something else you can’t help but notice one thing.

He never mentions Dinah.

And that gives you magnificent, dreadful hope.

It’s New Year's Eve, and you’re in an awfully good mood.

The party is in full bloom, the essence of joy and excitement wafting through the air, people dancing their worries away and laughing under the neon-lights (Ana really went all-in in the decoration department), having fun in what can only be a fitting welcome for a bright New Year.

The mulled wine has gotten slightly into you, landing you in that perfect spot between sober and tipsy, just enough to elevate your already high spirits. Besides you’re also celebrating finally finishing your book. It’s been a bitch of a struggle but finally, you’ve gone and did it. Finally booking an appointment with a publishing company that took an interest in you after reading one of your drafts you’ve previously sent them.

And well. Dinah isn’t here.

“I cannot believe I’m talking to the next Stephen King!” Hoseok yaps excitedly, throwing an arm around your shoulder, voice raised higher than normal due to the several “old-fashioned” he managed to throw back.

You grunt from the sudden weight as he leans a bit too much on your side to stand up. “Okay, step it down a notch, buddy,” you chuckle, patting him on the shoulder.

He thinks it over before-. “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?”

Your eyes widen, an involuntary laugh escaping you. “I said step it down a notch, not climb the whole mcfreakin ladder?” Hoseok giggles happily, before his eyes rest on the hostess, who’s currently talking to a coworker, gleeful smile in full bloom.

He waves at you to lean closer to him and you oblige. “See that girl over there?” he whispers to you conspiratory, pointing at Ana who seems oblivious to your conversation. You chuckle at his drunk antics but decide to appease him and nod.

A blissful smile takes over his lips. “Imma marry her someday.”

You barely keep your smile at bay. Honestly, Hoseok is whipped for Ana and anyone who doesn’t see that is blind, so it doesn’t sound weird coming from him. You’re willing to bet his wish is gonna come true someday. It’s just a matter of time.

Though you’re happy for your friends, you can’t let this teasing opportunity pass you by.

“Hey, champ, I got some bad news for you…” you press your lips together in mock-sadness and Hoseok’s face falls.

“She has a boyfriend,” you deliver the final blow and his eyes widen. Before he bursts into tears.

At least a couple of people stare at you, as Hoseok bawls his eyes out and you can’t stop cackling. Oh, god, you didn’t know he was this drunk, he was perfectly fine moments ago! Although to be perfectly candid, he has a low alcohol tolerance, so really this one is on you.

Ana shows up after a few seconds, worry etched into her features after seeing her boyfriend cry like a baby. “What happened? Are you okay?” she asks him, obviously more sober than him, but once she sees you laughing, her eyes narrow. “What did you do to him?”

You shrug, your expression being the poster-child for innocence. “Nothing! I just told him you have a boyfriend.”

This sends another wave of tears down Hoseok’s cheeks and Ana laughs incredulously.

“Is it true? Do you have a boyfriend” Hoseok struggles to ask through his hiccups and Ana can’t repress the lovesick smile on her lips.

“Yes and he’s a giant baby.”

“Does that mean I still have a chance?”

Ana chuckles before pressing a kiss on Hoseok’s pouty lips. “It’s you, you dufus! Now, come on, let’s get you to lay down…”

“Really?” he says with the most childlike smile you’ve ever seen on him. And only seconds later it turns into a smirk. "Oh, I will lay down, I will lay down so hard that you-” he struggles to complete his sentence, “that you’ll want to lay down with me…”

You groan out loud, not ready for the scene to turn into an NSFW one. “Are you horny all the time?” you complain out loud and the couple raises their brows at you.

“...Already know the answer to that one. Thank you very much five years of living together!” you admit regrettably and Ana tsks you.

“Serves you right for having the nerve to terrorize the sun himself!”

“That’s me!” Hoseok points to himself with a proud smile and you press your lips together to stop the giggles from escaping as Ana rolls her eyes fondly at her boyfriend.

“I’ll get him to my room-” Hoseok finger guns her, winks and blows her a kiss, “could you please make him some coffee?” Ana pleads you as she struggles to push a drunk Hoseok down the hall.

“You got it, babe! I’m gonna roast this coffee so bad, it’s gonna go running to its momma!” you announce in the spur of the moment, but Ana just looks at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“Doesn’t work for me, does it?” Ana just shakes her head and you huff. “I’ll go get the coffee…”

You drive through the crowd, barely avoiding the drinks spilling left and right and finally reach the kitchen. Thankfully there’s only like a couple of people around, so you reach for the french press easily, adding the coffee grounds and warming some water in the microwave.

“Why on earth are you having coffee with so much alcohol around and why does that weirdly make sense for you?” Jimin enters your vision, resting his hip on the counter in a mirror of your stance and you have to take a breath.

His dark blue hair is slicked back, revealing the magnificence of his eyebrows (yeap, that’s another spot of Jimin you’re weak about). He’s dressed in all black; black jeans, black T-shirt with an open neckline, a leather belt hugging closely at his hips, a dangly earring gracing his earlobe and a silver chain resting against his glistening collarbones. He has been dancing and all you wanna do is dive in and bite at the skin of his neck, glinting welcoming under the dimmed lights.

Focus.

“Give me a break, it’s not even for me…” you joke back, just in time to cover up your little zone-out. Jimin stares back confused.

“Who then-?” he makes a sound of realization before he chuckles. “Hoseok,” he responds and you nod, a giggle already on your lips.

After Christmas eve, when you refused to even speak to him, things became less weird. It seems like the two days you spent actively avoiding each other helped in restoring the dynamics back to normality. You’re not even sure who made the first move but after a few days, you were back to normal, as if that thing on the couch never happened.

Maybe it is for the best to pretend it never happened. No feelings are going to get hurt this way.

“Yeap, Ana took him back to her bedroom,” you reply, moving to pour the water into the french press.

Jimin raises an unconvinced eyebrow as he hands you a mug. “And are you sure they’re not gonna fuck back there?”

You take the mug with an appreciative nod. “Honestly, they’re probably fucking right now on their way there. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. Maybe I’ll be scarred for the rest of my life walking into that and maybe I won’t.”

“And you’ll take those chances?” Jimin chuckles incredulously and you almost swoon at the way his smile lights up the room.

“This coffee won’t deliver itself!” you joke and Jimin’s smile turns bigger.

“Your service is greatly appreciated!” he says with an awful British accent and proceeds to laugh.

“Well, thank you good sir!” you play into it with a curtsy and both of you burst into happy, slightly intoxicated giggles.

Your eyes rest on the french press as the coffee grounds seep into the water and it’s like your lips have a mind of their own when they ask the following question.

“So, alone tonight?” you ask with fake nonchalance and you swear Jimin tenses.

You can’t help yourself. From the moment you realized Dinah was absent you wanted to know why. They’ve been dating for almost a month, so that means they’d still be all over each other, you figured they’d want to spend New Year's together.

So how come Dinah isn’t here?

Jimin nods, eyes absentmindedly following your fingers as they trace the marble counter.

“What happened to Dinah? Didn’t want to spend New Years with our ugly asses?” you joke, hoping to lift the tension off his shoulders and rejoice when Jimin cracks a smile.

“No, no. Actually, her friends are throwing a party too…” he simply says, not giving you another explanation even though something else clearly bothers him. You don’t ask further, figuring he’ll tell you if he wants to, so you move to press the plunger down and pour the brown liquid into the cup Jimin handed you earlier.

“And I actually didn’t …” he hesitates, biting his bottom lip.

God, this is straight-up torture.

“Didn’t…?” you urge him on, sensing his desire to say whatever’s bothering him.

He takes a breath.

“Didn’t have the need to invite her…?” he admits, eyes on the steaming cup of coffee, struggling to put his thoughts into words as you stare at him utterly confused. He didn’t have the need to invite her? Like, he didn’t care if she was here?

No, Y/N, don’t get your hopes up.

Jimin huffs, running a hand through his hair.

“I mean.. I didn’t want to.”

And you find him staring at you again, with those intense, magnetic eyes and your breath is sucked out of your lungs.

He didn’t want to invite her. Why? What does it mean? Why did he do it?

And why is he looking at you like that?

Did he-?

“Surprise!” a familiar female voice echoes through the kitchen as Dinah throws herself literally against Jimin, hugging his waist with an excited smile. No concern in her eyes over your panicked faces.

You don’t know if she heard your conversation but if she did, she doesn’t show it.

Jimin’s wide, panicked eyes travel between you and Dinah. “Dinah, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending New Year’s at Minoh’s?” he turns around to bring her forward and the intimacy hiding in the domestic action drives a knife through your chest.

“That party was boring as hell. And I missed you,” she says with a blinding smile and leans in to press a soft kiss on Jimin’s lips, ripping your heart in two.

You can’t stand this. You can’t stand to watch as she kisses him right in front of you and you feel like an outsider, glimpsing at something you long for but can’t have. Is it always gonna be this hard?

You swallow the lump in your throat, gripping the cup tighter and force a smile on your lips just in time for the couple to miss your crestfallen expression.

It’s time to get out of here.

“That’s great! You’re just in time to spend New Year’s together!” you exclaim with forceful enthusiasm and Dinah nods excitedly as Jimin looks at you with an indecipherable expression. “You’ll have to excuse me, I have to deliver this bad boy!” you smile, pointing at the mug and you start walking away, already waiting for the moment you don’t have to keep that smile on your face any longer.

That seems to wake Jimin up as his eyes widen. “Wait, Y/N, I didn’t-”

“Have fun at the party!” you interrupt him, keeping the smile on for a little longer, before you turn your back at them, smile disappearing, steps fast as you miss Jimin’s face filled with despair.

Your steps bring you back to the living room, already having delivered the coffee to Ana’s room. Although Jimin’s suspicions were correct and you walked into a scene you’d rather forget, closing your eyes to avoid any more damage on your retina, resulting in you leaving the couple with a half-spilt coffee.

Not that they’ll be needing it now anyway.

Stepping into the main area of the party you can’t help the sour mood that takes over you, watching everyone have a good time. You were also having a good time until Dinah arrived.

Which reminds you. What did Jimin mean back then? Was it just stupid you with your tendency to read way too much into things or did he actually mean what you wanted him to?

And if he did, why is he still dancing with her?

Your eyes are stuck to the couple in question, dancing in the middle of the living room as a mid-tempo dance track plays through the speakers, Dinah’s hands wrapped around Jimin’s waist as he sways her softly to the beat.

The night started out so well. You were having fun, for once all worries put aside as you didn’t have to think about the book or Dinah, or Jimin. You were happy.

But then someone decided to shit all over that happiness and you were back to the beginning. Having your heart broken by your best friend and he doesn’t even know.

You take a breath to calm the erratic beating of your cracking heart when you see a too familiar face emerging from the kitchen.

Oh no, what is Jaehyun doing here?

You move quickly, dreading to talk to him, hoping he won’t see you but, alas, luck was never on your side.

His eyes spot you all the way across the room, with numerous people in between like he has laser vision or something. A smile takes over his lips as he waves at you and begins walking towards you.

God, no. No, you can’t deal with him right now. He’ll probably want another date and you know he deserves to know the truth but you just can’t do it right now.

You’re quick to move to the balcony, trying to lose him through the crown but his voice keeps calling you even outside. You slip through the people and into the living room, stopping to see him briefly lose you as his eyes scan the balcony.

You escape into the kitchen, hoping he won’t look for you here and in your hastiness to hide, you fall face-first into Seokjin’s chest.

“Fuck, sorry, you need to move!” you say urgently, trying to hide behind the massive wall he calls his shoulders.

Seokjin regards you with a suspicious glare. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to hide from Jaehyun!” you bite through gritted teeth as your eyes scan the open area behind you. With relief you realise Jaehyun isn’t anywhere near, just a bunch of other people and Jimin talking with Dinah and Hoseok.

Your heart still clenches uncomfortably when Seokjin interrupts your thoughts.

“Why are you hiding from Jaehyun? Didn’t the date go well?” he asks you purely confused and with guilt, you realize you never told him nor Ana that you bailed.

You bite your lip. “I didn’t go…”

Seokjin’s eyes widen comically. “What?! Why?! I thought you wanted to!”

You groan rubbing your palm on your face. “I just… didn’t feel like it anymore! And now he’s here, looking for me and I don’t know what to do! Who invited him anyway?”

At that Seokjin has the decency to look guilty. “I may have seen him at the coffee shop and invited him… But in my defence I didn’t even know you bailed on him!” he looks at you with a scolding glare and another groan leaves your lips.

“Oh, shit here he comes…” Seokjin looks carefully behind you and you steal a glance to indeed see Jaehyun stepping into the living room and walking straight towards you.

“Okay, fuck, let me think…” you mumble in thought when you see something on the ceiling, hanging just a few centimetres behind Seokjin.

“Got it!” you exclaim, and when Seokjin doesn’t follow, you push him back so both of you stand right beneath the thing hanging from the ceiling and then you point at it, knowing he’ll catch the drift.

Seokjin’s eyes follow your fingers, only to widen in horror when they rest at what you're pointing at.

Mistletoe.

“No! No, no, no, I’m not kissing you so you can get rid of him!” he hisses, eyes swimming in denial and disbelief. But you narrow your eyes at him.

“It’s your fault he’s here! So step the fuck up Kyle!” you hiss back and Seokjin looks less than thrilled.

“Don’t quote vines to me, you heathen, I won’t hesitate bitch!” he responds and you know you’re halfway winning him over.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this…” you reply, mastering the perfect puppy eyes.

The sound of his favourite vine has him yielding in a matter of seconds, choking back a laugh before he rolls his eyes. “Fine. But we gotta hurry up, he’s almost here,” Seokjin relents, eyes falling behind you.

“Buckle up,” is the only thing you say before grasping Seokjin’s panicked face and press your mouths together.

You stay like that for a few seconds, simply pressing your lips together like an awful K-drama kiss though there’s no romantic music playing in the background. The kiss is at its best… underwhelming. That’s what you were lusting after all those years? It certainly doesn’t live up to the expectations.

You lean back, staring at Seokjin who barely manages to conceal his weirded out face. “Is he gone?” you whisper and Seokjin nods in relief.

“Yes, he’s gone…” he mumbles, letting out a breath as you let his face free and take a step back, finally breathing freely.

“Don’t ever do that again!” he exclaims, his words followed by a loud gagging noise.

“Anything for you Beyonce!” you say, sharing the sentiment and you grab a random shot glass on the counter, to wash out the feeling of Seokjin’s clumsy mouth on yours.

“We don’t tell anyone. We take this to the grave and live the rest of our lives feeling slightly awkward with each other. Sounds good?” Seokjin states with wide eyes and you laugh at his seriousness.

“Ay, ay, captain! Now take a shot with me to erase the memory for good!” you say, filling two glasses with tequila and you hand him one.

“To forgetting this ever happened!” he raises his shot and you follow his movements before downing the contents of the glass.

“Amen to that.”

Half an hour later, its time for the countdown so the New Year can officially begin.

The automatic clock on Ana’s TV screen reads 23:59:03 and you rush to gather your friends together in one place, so the New Year can find all five of you together as it has for the last four years.

The rest of the attendees also gather in groups; friends, couples, coworkers, newly made acquaintances but all shimmering with the vibrating delight to welcome the New Year and the opportunities that are bound to come.

Ana and Hoseok are already counting down the numbers - admittedly a bit too early -, and Seokjin passes you four tequila shots to celebrate once the clock strikes midnight. But then he’s left with an extra one and realization strucks you.

“Hey, where’s Jimin? He’s supposed to be here!” you yell to be heard amidst the loud chattering of the crowd, but your question remains unanswered when Seokjin shrugs his shoulders in loss.

Ana looks around to find said-man but it’s Hoseok that finally puts an end to the mystery. “Uh, actually he went home!”

Your eyebrows furrow, confusion apparent in your eyes. He’s never missed out on this! How could he leave? You always spent New Year’s together, the five of you, it was your unique tradition, one you’ve expected him to keep up with.

Maybe he was feeling a bit under the weather, you try to reason with yourself. Let’s not get mad at him before knowing the whole story.

“Wait, so he left without telling anyone? Is he okay? Did he even tell Dinah he’d leave?” you question back, aware of Ana & Seokjin’s wary gazes but you don’t bother to acknowledge them.

Thankfully, Hoseok still isn’t entirely sober to notice them either and start asking questions.

He just shakes his head at you. “Oh, no, they both left. Oh, the countdown’s started!”

As people begin shouting along with the voice on the TV you can’t help but stare aimlessly into space.

They both left. Jimin ditched you, all four of you to spend New Year’s with Dinah. Alone.

And it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

It shouldn’t feel as much as a personal attack but it does. He left all four of you but it still feels like he specifically left you behind. As if he doesn’t care anymore. Before all that the chance of the two of you ever happening was abysmal. But it was still there, however small. You were fine with that cause at least you knew he valued you as a friend.

Now, you’re not even sure of that anymore.

You should be fine with him leaving. You’re just his friend.

And yet the heartbreak is overbearing.

Seokjin looks at you carefully as Hoseok keeps counting down to one, entirely unaware of what just happened as Ana counts with him but her eyes are on you.

You give her and Seokjin a weak smile, before averting your eyes quickly to count as well, not bearing to see the looks of pity in their eyes.

You hate this.

The clock strikes midnight.

You’ve never felt more alone.

The next morning finds you exhausted when you wake up on Seokjin’s couch. You’re not sure you could handle going back to the apartment and having Dinah and Jimin across the hall from you. Hoseok was going to spend the night at Ana’s, meaning firstly he kinda gave Jimin the pass to run wild and secondly you couldn’t crash at Ana’s. Of course, she insisted it was okay but you didn’t want to cockblock her on New Year’s. So Seokjin offered his home as an alternative which you happily accepted.

You’re dreading to go back to your flat, though already knowing it’s an inevitable curse, you leave a note for Seokjin to find when he wakes up and then you leave his apartment.

On the way home, you wonder if you should trek over to the donut shop around the corner for some heavenly delicacies but then you’d have to buy Jimin and Dinah some. And that is simply something you’re not willing to do.

Hopefully, they’ll be both asleep when you arrive, too tired to be up at 10 am on New Year’s, so you’ll get your chance to quietly slip into your room and avoid everyone for the rest of the week.

Maybe even a month until those stupid feelings finally decide to disappear.

You try your best to be as soundless as possible when you unlock the front door. You enter the living room on your tiptoes, closing the door quietly behind you before moving to throw your coat on the hanger.

The moment you think you’re alone passes by quickly when you hear the door of the fridge being shut and immediately turn around to see Jimin staring at you with bleary eyes. His hair is a mess as he’s clad in a white T-shirt and grey sweatpants as his pjs, a cup of what must be steaming coffee on one hand as the other runs through his locks. You find yourself salivating.

“Where did you go this early in the morning?” his gruff voice comes out, purely confused and before you get to correct him, his eyes fall on your figure. And he realizes you’re still dressed the same as last night.

“Did you just get here?” he asks, his voice a tad too sharp and accusing to be considered friendly and your arms wrap around your middle protectively.

“Uh, yeah… I crashed at Seokjin’s… Too tired to come back after helping Ana clean up…” you joke, forcing a laugh to hopefully ease the sudden tension hanging in the air.

Though your airy laugh doesn’t reach Jimin. Instead, his eyes are fixed on the wall to his right, jaw tense in what seems almost as anger before he takes a quick sip of his coffee and slum the cup on the counter.

“Ugh… are you okay-?” your confusion is apparent in your voice as Jimin walks off the kitchen, down the hallway.

“I’m going back to sleep…” he mumbles through clenched teeth before he disappears inside his bedroom and closes the door with a loud bang.

You stare weirdly at his door, bewildered by his entire behaviour but you’re still too sleepy to let it get to you. So instead you opt for crawling over to your room and hide beneath the covers.

The days after New Year’s turn out weirder and weirder to the point of questioning your mental state.

Seokjin still feels somewhat awkward around you after the kiss but instead of avoiding you, as any normal human being would do, he actively seeks you out, clinging to you and following you around like a shadow, as if the over-exposure will help him get rid of the awkwardness faster.

True to your words, none of you have said anything about it to the others, so you were half waiting for everyone to be immediately weirded out by Seokjin’s sudden display of affection. But apart from Ana that gave you some scarce confused looks, the other two haven’t made a single comment, as if this is a completely normal situation. They barely blink when even yourself gets creeped out from Seokjin’s insistent coddling.

Which brings you to the other weird thing happening in the flat.

Jimin barely talks to you anymore.

You don’t have the slightest idea why. If you said something, or done something that offended him, you’re none the wiser. And how are you supposed to know when he barely greets you in the morning?

Every time you attempt conversation, there’s always something he has to do, which sounds completely ironic, given you were the one that kinda did the same before.

Not to cover your own ass but you did that for the sake of your friendship! If Jimin ever finds out you’re into him, you can’t bear to think the effect this might have on your friendship.

Whereas Jimin might as well be angry over such a small thing as you using his earbuds.

It wouldn’t have bothered you that much if it wasn’t for Dinah.

Well, she barely does anything, it's just that Jimin always goes to her when he has the chance. Nights spent with all five of you together munching on popcorn in front of the TV, turn into awkward gatherings as Ana and Hoseok pair up against you and Seokjin, leaving the two of you cringing whenever the couple does something too coupley.

At New Year’s Eve, he practically admitted he wasn’t that much into her anymore and now he’s always with her. Did he lie back then? And if so why?

Everything is wrong and you don’t know how to fix it.

If only Jimin hadn’t begun dating Dinah, none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have realised you liked him, he wouldn’t have spent so much time with her, he wouldn’t abandon the four of you for her.

Although, a small part of you screams you would’ve realised you liked Jimin either way. It wasn’t about Dinah.

And yet you can’t help the loathing that emerges like bile in your throat when you hear her name.

Or when Jimin, after two weeks of avoiding the rest of you, announces you are to throw a dinner so you can get to know her better.

You feel the headache splitting your skull open.

It’s nearly impossible to hide your sour mood once Dinah steps into the apartment.

A switch has flipped and where there was a smile from joking around with Ana, now there’s a permanent scowl on your face as you refuse to even acknowledge the newcomer, as she greets the rest of your friends.

Once she says hello to you too, you mumble something that resembles a greeting, not even bothering to look at her direction, as Ana regards you with a warning glare.

Deep down you know most of your attitude comes from Jimin’s behaviour these last couple of days, and Dinah’s direct contribution is only at roughly 10%. But you’re stubborn, immature and putting the blame on her seems like an easy way to cope with the situation and the hurricane of feelings swirling in your mind.

No one said it’s the right one. But for now, it’s what keeps you from hiding in your bedroom and wallowing in self-pity. Not that you won’t do that later.

You result in setting the table with Hoseok in silence, not really in the mood to talk, as everyone else sits in the living room and you catch glimpses of their conversation.

Seokjin and Ana talk about a new addition Seokjin wants to put on the menu of his restaurant, while Jimin and Dinah dally on the other side of the room.

You think you’re gonna barf.

“Ugh… Y/N are you okay?”

You turn around at the voice, surprised to see Hoseok stare at you with confused and worried eyes. Shit, did he sniff out something?

“Ah, yes! Why?” you put forward your most cheery voice in the hopes it will throw him off.

“‘Cause you keep stabbing the meat with the forks…” he comments carefully, leaning a bit backwards as his worry grows, once your confused eyes meet his.

And then you look back to the meat and, surely, all the forks you were supposed to pass around the table are stabbed into the steaks on the centre of the table.

Your eyes widen as you press your lips together in horror. God, why can’t you just behave for once?

You rush to remove all the utensils, dumping them into the sink and you pick out new ones, as Hoseok keeps staring at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m fine!” you respond with a clipped voice and you’re not sure what Hoseok hears in your voice but he drops it, in favour of placing the napkins around the table. Though you can still feel his weirded-out stare from time to time.

Once the table is set, Hoseok calls for everyone to gather around and one by one flock to their seats.

And as you put the finishing touches, you can’t help but hear Jimin’s conversation with Dinah.

“We have ice cream for dessert, you’re gonna love this one, it’s heavenly!” he says with excitement.

“Oh, only if it’s vegan, me and regular milk don’t go along…” she jokes and as Jimin says he’ll have someone check, an idea pops into your head. A petty, childish idea but it gives you some purpose for now.

So, she’s lactose intolerant? It would surely be a shame if she were to eat normal ice cream.

And by “shame” you mean hilarious.

The little voice in the back of your head berates you for acting so immature but at this moment you desperately need this. You can be salty for one evening.

What’s the harm?

Once everyone’s plates are empty, the lot of you migrate to the living room, as you stay in the kitchen to get the ice cream out of the freezer.

Jimin told Ana to ask you to check for the ice cream some time ago, -can you believe it, he didn’t even ask you! He had to talk to Ana for god’s sake-, and you did. But just as you’d suspected it wasn’t vegan.

So your plan is good to go.

You have Seokjin help you carry the bowls of ice cream to the living room and you pass each one around as they’re expected with excited noises.

Ana almost moans at the delicious flavour and Hoseok chuckles at his girlfriend’s antics as you sit next to Seokjin and dive straight into your own bowl.

During dinner it seemed everyone got along just fine with Dinah, talking and joking together as if she’s been a part of this group for a long time. And it bothers you even more.

You also recognize her attempts to get close to you as well but really you can’t be bothered. It comes to the point where she talked to you and all you did is give her a one-word answer before turning your attention somewhere else.

Though right at this moment your attention is solely on her as she takes a scoop out of her ice cream.

“Mmm, it’s really good!” she says excitedly to a smiling Jimin, as she swoops in for another spoon.

But after a few seconds, her eyebrows scrunch in confusion, as she keeps the ice cream in her mouth, looking as if she’s trying to figure out something. You can barely contain your gloating.

“Uhm, this ice cream is vegan right?” she rushes to say, eyes growing just a bit wider with what seems like panic.

Ana turns to look at you and you answer with the most innocent look you can manage, acting like you just realised you didn’t.

“Oh, oops! I guess I forgot to check, sorry! Why, are you lactose intolerant?” you respond in the first complete sentence you’ve given her tonight, internally gloating at her misfortune.

She swallows, her eyes widen even more, traces of fear growing in them. “Ugh, no-”

What does she mean no?

“I’m allergic.”

At once every conversation ceases, all eyes resting on her, wide in shock.

Fuck.

Jimin is the first to react.

“What?! Shit. Are you okay, should we take you to a hospital?” he asks in panic, placing the ice cream as further away from her as he can while you’re left staring at her in horror.

“Well, since I can feel my tongue thwelling, I thay we thould,” she comments shaking, losing the ability to pronounce the letter “s” as more time passes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you struggle to say, full of remorse, but no one seems to hear you as the situation goes haywire.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen!

Seokjin is immediately on his feet. “I’ll drive you there, you guys clean up here okay?” he commands urgently and as you feel the guilt overwhelming you, you stand up form your spot in an instant.

“I’ll come with!” your voice trembles as you reach for your bag while Jimin and Seokjin help Dinah out of the apartment hurriedly.

But as soon as you speak Jimin’s furious eyes are on you.

“I think you’ve done enough.”

And then he slams the door behind them.

You’re left staring at the piece of wood with trembling eyes, as Ana and Hoseok simply stare at you, Hoseok’s eyes wide in shock as yours while Ana’s are filled with disappointment.

You. Fucking. Idiot.

It’s almost four hours later when Jimin and Seokjin return, finding only Hoseok in the living room waiting for them as he asks them how it went.

But Jimin doesn’t bother answering him as he instead marches with loud, angry steps towards your room.

On the other side of the door, your nails are nearly non-existent from all the nervous thinking that has plagued your mind for the last few hours. Your texts to both of them asking how Dinah was, were left unanswered and you were left brewing in your own nerves.

Until the door opens and Jimin walks in.

You freeze in your spot once your eyes meet his and see the undecipherable expression on his face.

You only manage to mumble a guilt-ridden “hi” and he closes the door behind him as he closes his eyes and takes a deep, calming breath.

Although it seems to not do much.

“What the fuck, Y/N?!”

Your answer is immediate, full of regret. “I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Is she okay?” you ask, out of your wits with panic as you wait for him to answer.

He seems too tired, too exhausted as he responds. “They gave her an antihistamine, she’ll be fine,” he says with a sigh but then his eyes are full of rage as they rest on you again. “But do you realize what might have happened if we were a bit late?! She could have died!” he yells at you, voice full of unbridled outrage as his eyes grow even more with the passing of time and you feel smaller and smaller.

“I’m sorry!-” you repeat again, feeling incredibly awful with what you’ve done, “-I thought she was just lactose intolerant, not allergic!” you say in hopes of redeeming yourself even just a bit but maybe this wasn’t the right thing to say as it seems Jimin’s anger only grows.

“This isn’t the fucking point, Y/N!”, you flinch at the volume of his voice, “The point is you've been trying to sabotage this for weeks! You think I haven't seen the side-glances and the mocking giggles?! I fucking know you don’t like her but couldn’t you just pretend for my sake? Do you have to go to such lengths to let us all know you hate her?!” he spits at you with wild eyes and you fight the urge to wrap your arms around your frame.

“I didn’t poison her on purpose…” you mumble in explanation and your eyes stare at your feet, not daring to look at him, drowning in shame.

“No, but all the other things were!” he refutes with impatience, but then he sighs. His shoulders fall down but his jaw’s still clenched. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? I know what she did better than anyone, believe me, but people are allowed a second chance, and frankly, it’s not your place to decide if she deserves it or not. All I was asking of you was to be decent towards her because I was stupid enough to think you’re my friend above everything and you’d respect my wishes!” he confesses, face crest-fallen and what you once feared, -him looking like this because of you-, has finally come true. You can feel your eyes watering but you can do nothing to stop them.

“I am your friend!” you respond desperately with pleading eyes, trying to stop him from questioning how much he means to you. If only he knew exactly how much.

“Are you really?”, he questions back, “Because the rest of the guys are my friends too and they don’t have a problem with her. It’s just you! And if you can’t accept her and be happy for me then…” he stops, eyes falling on the floor, refusing to meet your gaze and you have an awful feeling blooming in the pit of your stomach.

“...Then we’re better off as just roommates,” he delivers the final blow.

You can’t believe your ears. There’s no way, no way.

You feel your throat closing up. “...You don’t mean that…” you mumble in denial, eyes blurry and voice almost breaking at the possibility of losing your best friend.

Jimin still refuses to look at you, his lips pursed as he shakes his head. “Yeah? And you said you’ll support me no matter what so I guess we both said things we don’t mean.”

“Or I guess that was just you,” he says in a final tone, eyes serious this time on you before he turns towards your door to leave your bedroom. To leave your life.

You can’t breathe.

“Jimin-” you manage to stutter out although you feel like choking. You can’t lose him, you simply can’t.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he snaps back but stops himself before saying anything else, pressing his lips together.

Then he takes another breath. He collects himself and before you manage to stop him, he closes the door on his way out with a loud bang.

And you can’t move. Your eyes simply stare at the door, refusing to let any tear drop and you purse your lips, feeling a mixture of stubbornness and sorrow.

He left. How could he? How could he push you aside for her?! You’ve been friends for a little more than five years now and he ruins your friendship because of her?! Her?!

You rush to lock the door behind him with blurry eyes, putting the blame on him as for now you need this to stay sane.

Tomorrow you’ll know that everything was your fault.

But for now, you choose to believe otherwise.

You step back from your door, crossing your arms on your chest in defiance.

“If he doesn’t want to be friends then we won’t be!” you exclaim in an attempt to salvage your broken ego but once those words are out of your mouth, once they finally feel real, you can’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

You have to cover your mouth to drown the sound of your sobs.

You can’t let him hear.

At that moment there’s a knock on your door, before “Y/N? It’s Seokjin, can I come in?”

His voice is quiet, calm, reminding you that he and Hoseok probably heard everything. You can’t deal with it. You can’t deal with any of it.

“Go away, Seokjin…” you mumble with a low voice in order to hide the fact you’re crying.

You hear him sighing. “Come one, at least talk to me-”

“Go away!” your voice is coarse as you yell back, for a second not realising it was you. You know you're gonna regret yelling at him later, but you just want to be alone.

There’s silence on the other side. Then the echoing steps of someone leaving.

And then you break down in the middle of your room.

Alone.

The only sound coming from your quiet sobs.

{Jimin’s POV}

Keep it together. Don’t lose focus now just because she looks like she’s about to cry.

It’s easier said than done, but Jimin manages to remain focused on what he came here to do. Even if it’s just barely.

He can’t go on like this. Maybe if you were happy for him and actually supported him, things would be different. But when you act like a spoiled baby that didn’t get her wish with no excuse whatsoever when you were supposed to be okay with Dinah… there’s not much he can do.

Not when your behaviour acts as a false beacon of hope. One he can’t afford to see. Otherwise, he might do something he can’t take back.

He’s got to be firm and decisive.

So he turns around to leave before he takes it all back.

“Jimin-” he hears the breaking in your voice, knowing how much this may weigh you down but all he can feel right now is unfairness. It’s unfair how he wants to move on but with one single word he finds his resolve crumbling.

You shouldn’t affect him this much.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he begins but stops himself. What was he about to say? Something he shouldn’t, probably.

Still, you stop talking. And you just stare at him, with disbelief written in your eyes. He avoids those in favour of staying true to his words.

There’s no saying what he’ll do if he meets them.

So, he simply leaves your bedroom.

Marching through the small distance between your door and his, he can see Hoseok and Seokjin, from the corner of his eyes, staring.

They probably heard everything.

He steps into his bedroom, closing the door behind him, needing some space. To calm down, to take a breath, to finally think about what he just did.

You looked like you were ready to break down at any moment.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been that harsh with you. Maybe he was a bit too hasty, too vengeful in making that decision.

Someone knocks on his door.

What if it’s you?

His steps can’t take him to his door any faster.

But it’s just Hoseok.

“... what?” he hears himself get defensive once he sees your door still closed shut behind the other man.

Hoseok stares at him with understanding. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Jimin…” he comments with a soft voice, always knowing how to approach Jimin when he’s angry, better than anyone.

Jimin sighs, still feeling stubborn but he knows by the end of what Hoseok has to say, he’ll almost certainly listen.

“... Let’s talk about it okay? I’m sure Y/N wants that too…” at those words Jimin swears he feels a small pinch of pain on his chest. He wishes they’re true.

“Seokjin is also gonna talk to her…”

But those words manage to bring his stubbornness back full force.

There’s a chuckle coming out of Jimin but none of it sounds happy.

“Of course he will…” he snaps at Hoseok, who bites his lip once he realises his mistake. “Yeah, Hoseok, I think I’ll pass,” the bitterness is evident in his words, not bothering to hide it from the one person that knows the cause of it.

Hoseok’s eyes widen once he realises Jimin is about to close the door on him. “Wait, Jimin, don’t-”

“Goodnight,” is what Jimin simply says before closing the door on his best friend.

He can’t be sure when everything began to change. He can’t place a finger on the exact moment his feelings had changed.

On the exact moment, he fell in love with you.

Was it the moment you walked through the door as a roommate applicant? He can’t be sure. But somewhere along the way, the feelings bloomed, outgrew everything he ever felt for anyone.

He just was a bit late at realizing it.

When he woke up after you slept together and his eyes rested on you as you slept, he felt a pain in the middle of his chest. But it didn’t feel like a regular pain, it felt like his heart was expanding like he was experiencing growing pains. Because while he stared at you, he realised there was nothing else he’d rather do. You looked so serene, so at peace sleeping next to him, he never wanted the moment to end.

And that’s how he realised.

Of course, he had to push his newly-found knowledge aside when he saw you nearly going into panic mode. Just because he felt like this, didn’t mean you did too.

So he hid those feelings, playing it cool for the sake of being your friend.

But this shit was difficult when he was surrounded by you twenty-four-seven.

Right before Seokjin’s birthday he had sworn he’d finally tell you. He thought that maybe, just maybe you’d like him back, or at least he’d get to have a weight lifted off his chest.

But then he saw you hugging Seokjin…

He wasn’t trying to spy on you or anything. He was just trying to reach the bathroom when he saw you wrapping your arms around Seokjin. Around the guy you had a crush on for the past few years. It was like a stab to his stomach, even more so when he knew you weren’t really into hugs and when you did hug someone, it usually meant a lot to you.

Jimin couldn’t believe his eyes. He also couldn’t believe how much it hurt and how much he needed something to distract himself.

Or, rather, someone.

That’s how Dina came along.

He never intended to string her along this far though. At that night she was just a distraction, someone familiar who knew how to take care of him, despite everything that had transpired between them in the past.

But Dinah kept trying, kept fighting vigorously for that second chance and he couldn’t help but acknowledge how much she’d changed over the past year. So he let her back into his life, hoping that at least she’d help him forget about you.

And it worked for some time. Until that night.

Until the night you were supposed to go on a date with Seokjin and cancelled it because of him - he’s sure of it even if you vehemently denied it back then-. The night you were dressed on that tight, little, black dress, the one that reminded him of that night eight months ago and suddenly his mind was going haywire with thoughts, or rather, memories of you.

He swears he saw hunger in your eyes when his palm was on your thigh, scorching both of you at the connected spot and if it wasn’t for Hoseok’s interruption, he was sure he’d’ve lost control.

Jimin hates to admit it but that night he kept thinking of you, of your eyes, of your lips, of the way your thighs had fit around his waist back then, of the sound of his name falling from your lips as he touched himself, trying to drown his moans onto his pillow.

He couldn’t talk to you after that for a couple of days. Too ashamed, too embarrassed, too enamoured with you, he thought you’d be able to see right through him.

But once things got back to normal, they were ruined once more.

Dinah appeared at the worst of times at New Year’s. He was so close to letting you know how he feels, encouraged by your reaction when you ditched your date for him, which was another green light for him at the moment. But Dinah showed up and you were out of there before he even got a chance to explain.

Hoseok had found him then, drinking away his sorrows.

“And the worst of all is, she’s dating Seokjin, which I now realise makes me a big jerk and an awful friend as I keep trying to steal away his girlfriend,” Jimin mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.

Hoseok seemed perplexed but that might have been from the near-alcohol-poisoning he just had before Dr. Ana “nursed” him back to health. “And remind me, how are you sure she’s dating Seokjin? They haven’t told us anything yet…”

Jimin stared into his drink, already sort of tipsy on alcohol and self-pity. “Saw ‘em huggin’...” he mumbled behind the glass. Hoseok had to do a double-take at that.

“What?” Hoseok responded in disbelief. “That’s it? Dude, I do that with Seokjin all the time, that doesn’t mean I’m dating him!”

Jimin sighed in annoyance. “It was more than that okay? There was this feeling to it! I could tell it wasn’t just a simple hug!” Jimin groaned as he rubbed his face with his hand.

Hoseok rolled his eyes at his friend. “Still you can never be sure by just a hug! Have you talked to her?”

“No, I tried to but Dinah came in and she left as soon as she saw her…” Jimin admitted and Hoseok almost laughed out loud at his friend’s idiocy.

“Bro, if that isn’t a sign to talk to her, then I’m not dating the most bomb person in the whole ass world.”

Jimin wasn’t impressed as he cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

Hoseok wasn’t deterred. “I can see you have an objection here and it’s a complete disgrace to Ana’s name, so Imma pound you to logic city later, you limp dick, but right now you need to talk to Y/N!” he concluded as he shoved Jimin out of his stool.

Jimin groaned as he stood up, but as his eyes fell to the bottom of his drink, he realised Hoseok was right. He should’ve talked to you first. Maybe he had misunderstood and there was nothing going on with Seokjin.

And right then as he saw you bumping into Seokjin, he figured it was a great opportunity to find out what was happening between the two of you from both parties involved.

But as his steps got him closer and closer, he saw you kiss him.

He froze. He couldn’t look, couldn’t bear, but still, his eyes stayed glued to the both of you as your arms circled around his neck to press him closer.

Jimin felt like vomiting.

He turned around right then and there and walked away. He needed to get out of there. He gave Dinah a half-assed apology as he also sent her on her merry way and he left for his apartment. He couldn’t even tell Hoseok why he was leaving the party, only announcing his departure and disappearing.

It was the first time in years he spent New Year’s alone.

He hated it.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’ve done the worst sleep in ages.

You rub your eyes, immediately regretting it when the slightest touch has them stinging from how swollen they are from all the crying.

Right. It wasn’t just a dream.

You drag your feet begrudgingly across the floor to the bathroom to splurge some water on your face, in a futile attempt to calm down your puffy eyes. Before you’re off to the kitchen where Hoseok is currently eating his breakfast cereal.

Once he hears the sound of footsteps, he raises his head, only to see you awkwardly walk in the kitchen, eyes downcast as you go for the fridge.

“Hey,” you hear him say.

With your face facing the inside of the fridge you take a breath, letting the low temperature calm you down.

You knew it was coming. Hoseok definitely listened to everything along with Seokjin. And yet you don’t feel like replying.

Nonetheless, you turn around and acknowledge him with a tilt of your head as you move to have the coffee machine working.

“So… How you feeling?”

The question prompts a humourless chuckle out of you and Hoseok sighs in response.

“I know, that’s a lousy question. I just…” he takes a breath, eyes gentle on you, not at all judgemental as you’d expect them, after what you’ve done yesterday, “I mean I know Jimin’s side of the story, but I never heard yours…” he concludes, letting a soft smile take over his features.

Huh. Your side of the story.

You swallow the lump in your throat, but the words don’t come out. Instead, you resolve to looking down at the floor as your hands grab tightly at your empty cup.

Hoseok, sensing your hesitation, sighs resigned but he doesn’t push you on it.

A moment passes when both of you remain silent until your coffee is ready. You pour the liquid into your cup, almost moaning in relief you don’t have to stay here another second.

But before you get to leave Hoseok speaks up again.

“I know things may look like a mess right now but I’m sure this won’t be the case forever. Jimin… yeah, he’s mad but you're his best friend. He’s gonna change his mind soon…” Hoseok’s gentle words reach you and, oh god, how do you want to believe them.

You turn to look at him and see the hope written in his eyes.

You give him what might have resembled a smile if you weren’t feeling so beat-down.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me Hobi…” you whisper and Hoseok’s face falls just a bit at how broken you sound.

“Things will change, I’m certain of it,” still he replies, eyes full of determination that make the slightest sliver of hope go through the cracks of your sorrow.

Right then another pair of footsteps echoes as Jimin walks into the kitchen.

His sudden arrival has you both freeze, eyes resting on the newcomer and while Hoseok keeps on looking at Jimin, you’re quick to avert your gaze, the lump in your throat growing.

A second passes where Jimin doesn’t move forward or backwards. Like he isn’t sure if you could be in the same room anymore after yesterday's events. Your heart pangs at the thought.

He coughs awkwardly.

“I didn’t know you were awake, I can come back later-” he begins softly, eyes avoiding yours as well, making the pain grow a little sharper.

“No, it’s okay, I was done anyway…” you interrupt him, hands gripping tightly at your steaming cup as if it is a life board.

And without another word, you’re out of the kitchen.

{Hoseok’s POV}

A week passes by and it seems there’s no hope for reconciliation on the horizon.

Both of you went the extra miles and rearranged your schedules to avoid each other as much as possible. Jimin spends nearly every night at Dinah’s, barely seeing the others and you spend days locked into your room under the pretence of writing, but really you’re just avoiding everyone.

The rest of the guys don’t know what to do anymore.

It’s a Friday afternoon when Hoseok is over at Ana’s place, the mood in his apartment too heavy to bear and he can’t bear this anymore.

“Babe, I’m back, they didn’t have any vinegar chips so I bought oregano instead. Can you imagine the disgrace?” he shouts as soon as he steps back into the apartment, after a small walk to the seven eleven down the street.

But instead of hearing his girlfriend’s welcoming back, he hears her sigh. Then he sees her walk around the corner from the kitchen with her phone pressed to her ear like she’s in a conference call.

“I still don’t understand why won’t you just tell him!” Ana speaks on the phone, sending a tired wave to her boyfriend who looks at her entirely confused.

Hoseok just takes his shoes off and plops himself on the couch, sensing Ana won’t be done with that phone call anytime soon.

There’s a silence from her side as she listens intently to what the other person is saying. Hoseok decides to open the bag of chips just to keep his hands occupied.

After a while, Ana talks again.

“But what if she doesn’t tell him?” she? First, she mentioned a “him” and now a “she”? Hoseok’s getting more confused by the second.

“And what about Jimin then? Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?” her voice is stern, like a mother berating her child and a sound of understanding leaves Hoseok’s lips, as he concludes Ana is talking to you.

There’s a small silence from your side, indicating no response to Ana’s question and so she keeps talking.

“And I’m talking about the whole truth Y/N.”

Hoseok’s intrigued. What whole truth?

“I know I was the first person to be against telling him about your feelings but with how poorly you handled the situation, I don’t think you can possibly make anything worse!”

At that, Hoseok’s eyes blow wide open. Feelings?! What feelings?!

He’s immediately up, approaching Ana with quick steps as she listens to your response. Your voice, even though muffled through the phone, sounds weaker, sadder. Disheartened.

Ana’s words are softer now. “But you’ll never be able to do this. You’ll never be ready but, the truth is, no one ever is. That’s kinda how it goes and that’s okay. But you gotta do it at some point, sooner or later,” she talks to you calmly, Hoseok sensing her sorrow at hearing you like this.

But he can’t shake the feeling that he can somehow help if he finds out what those feelings are.

Ana sighs tiredly as if what she just said didn’t have much of an impact. “Y/N-” but before she gets to respond you hang up.

Ana gasps while staring at her phone. “She just hung up on me, I can’t believe it, how dare?” she says to no one in particular as she rubs her hands on her face tiredly.

“Tough luck?” Hoseok comments wrapping his hands around her waist. Ana welcomes the embrace, her hands winding around his neck as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“She just won’t listen! She’s so infuriatingly stubborn and it’s driving me nuts!” she blows a stray hair out of her face, accidentally tickling Hoseok’s skin in the process and he chuckles.

“Kinda like you then?” he teases as he finally pushes that stray lock behind her ear and she pokes out her tongue at him in retaliation before falling into peaceful tranquillity.

Hoseok hates to disrupt this but he has to ask her what all of those things meant. For the sake of Jimin.

“Hey, babe…” he begins and Ana hums in acknowledgement.

“When you talked about Y/N’s feelings…” he feels her stiffen in his embrace but nonetheless he carries on, “... what did you mean?”

Ana takes a breath. “I guess there’s no point in not telling you now…” she speaks softly before taking another breath, one Hoseok holds until he hears her answer.

“Y/N… she likes Jimin. Well I mean that’s what she says anyway. I think it’s way more than that…” Ana admits sadly but Hoseok’s mind goes into overdrive.

“Are you serious…?” he asks in what can be perceived as a calm demeanour but in reality, his head is about to explode.

Ana chuckles calmly, still in Hoseok’s embrace. “I know right?”

Oh my god, they’re both idiots, he thinks. But he has to do something now.

“Oh god, those giant baboons!” he almost yells, making Ana flinch and take a step back to look at him perplexed.

“Hoseok…?”

He laughs incredulously as he takes a step back, trying to process the situation.

“For how long?” he asks and Ana looks more weirded out by the second.

“Two months, give or take?” Ana responds with narrowed eyes.

Hoseok chuckles. “That’s…” when Jimin started going out with Dinah, of course, it all makes sense!

“Seriously our friends are the worst idiots ever!” he complains once more.

“Okay, now do you mind telling me what’s going on?” she retaliates, getting irritated with her boyfriend and his tendency of not explaining anything for the dramatics.

“Jimin likes her back!” he shouts out loud, the magnificence of what he found out too overwhelming to bear.

Ana’s eyes widen. “What? How can that be? What about Dinah?”

Hoseok narrows his eyes at her. “He began dating her again after that one night stand that only happened because he saw Y/N hugging Seokj- Wait! What about Seokjin?”

Ana seems confused. “What about Seokjin?”

“Isn’t Y/N dating him?”

Ana almost bursts out in giggles. “What? No! Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Cause of the hug!”

“So what, a simple hug means automatically they’re dating each other?”

“Well, we all know Y/N hates hugs, plus she had a crush on him so it would be believable- Wait, that’s not the point. So Y/N isn’t dating Seokjin?”

“Nope. Never did,” Ana concludes as both of them fall into the same realization.

“So Jimin did all that stuff…” Ana begins, not quite believing the absurdity of the situation.

“...Because he thought Seokjin was dating Y/N,” Hoseok admits tiredly.

“We gotta tell Jimin,” Ana grabs her phone to punch in his number before Hoseok stops her.

“Wait…” he stares at the phone, the cogs in his mind whirling before his eyes light up.

“I got a better idea.”

{Jimin’s POV}

Sweat still drips down his forehead as Jimin bids goodbye to his students, after the end of his contemporary class. He reaches for his water bottle and heads for the teachers’ lounge where his stuff is before he gets to his last class.

He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand before pressing the now lukewarm bottle on the nape of his neck, to get some sort of relief.

Once again, his focus wasn’t entirely on the class. It has been like that ever since your fight, but at least it started getting better as time passed. Still not at its best though.

He finds himself feeling guilty more than he thought he would. Guilty towards you, towards Dinah. It’s a mess.

Admittedly, he was really mad at you but as he got to think it over, he realised he acted too rashly in cutting you off. And he misses you already.

But the thing is… you haven't made a move to reconcile either. That could be because you’re afraid of him pushing you away again. But shouldn't you make the first step? If you did, Jimin is sure he would forgive you on the spot.

He shakes his head tiredly as he enters the teachers’ lounge and reaches for his backpack. Everything’s a mess.

And then there’s Dinah. Dinah who’s changed, who’s kind and understanding. Dinah who he strings along and who’s possibly already aware of Jimin’s use of her as a distraction. They both know that, even though Dinah’s changed and everything’s seemingly fine, the relationship is doomed this time around as well.

Although this time it’s Jimin’s fault.

He needs to come clean to her. He has to end this.

Right then his phone begins ringing.

Once he sees the contact name, he’s a little less willing to answer it.

“What do you want?” is his response once he picks up and there’s an awkward chuckle at the other end before the caller finally replies.

“Whoa, okay, forward, can’t you buy me a drink first, champ?” Seokjin tries to make the tension disappear unsuccessfully, resulting in Jimin not even answering that particular quip.

He hears Seokjin sigh on the other side, before “Anyway, can’t I just call my friend to see how he’s doing? It’s been a while since the last time we talked…” the other man admits cautiously and Jimin’s defensiveness slowly ebbs away to give place to additional guilt. He’s the one blowing off all his friends because he wants space. Or more precisely, he thinks, because he’s a coward, too afraid to really deal with the situation, so instead picking the easy way out, at the expense of his friends.

He rubs his face with his hands, before letting out a breath. “Yeah, I know, things have been kind of…” Jimin trails off but Seokjin hums, as if he understands what Jimin means without him having to say it out loud.

“Yeah…” Seokjin agrees quietly and Jimin feels more horrible as time goes by. When did he begin to feel such animosity towards his friend? They used to be really close ever since they worked together at the same shift, and now Jimin can barely be in the same room as him. It’s not Seokjin’s fault in any way and the truth is Jimin’s animosity arises not towards Seokjin but more towards himself.

He has stuff he needs to work on.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” comes Seokjin’s response that has Jimin sitting up straight in his seat, terrified of what his friend wants to talk to him about.

And it seems his fears were not unjustified.

“How long have you liked Y/N?”

There it is.

Jimin takes a breath, panic trying to take over him but he wills it to go away and answer his friend. Even if he’s terrified to do so.

“I…” he begins, audible shakiness colouring his voice, “... how do you know?”

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Hoseok told me…”

Jimin takes another breath, one full of guilt.

“Look, I… I’m sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did! And I know it’s awful of me to have done this but, yeah, for some time I had thought of acting on it. But now that I know for certain you’re together, I wouldn’t even dream of-”

“First of all, Y/N and I are not together.” Seokjin interrupts the babbling idiot and Jimin stops mid-sentence.

He blinks, uncertain. “I… what?”

Seokjin sighs with a chuckle. “Y/N and I aren’t dating,” he repeats.

Jimin opens his mouth like a fish, in complete and utter shock. “But… but I saw you…” he states full of doubt, almost like a question.

He can almost hear Seokjin raising his eyebrow. “You saw us doing what?”

The lump in his throat doesn’t make this any easier. “I saw you kissing a-a-aand-and hugging!” he retaliates, trying to support his reasoning.

Seokjin sighs once more, the gesture coming off him naturally by now. “Okay, she kissed me because she wanted to avoid a dude she ghosted, I had little to no say in this!” Seokjin responds in a typical Seokjin fashion.

But Jimin has more questions. “A dude she ghosted?”

“Yeah, she was supposed to go on a date with this guy in my restaurant but blew him off for some reason…”

Wait.

“When was this?” Jimin asks, eager but nervous to find out the answer.

“A couple of days before Christmas.”

So that wasn’t a date with Seokjin but just a rando?

God, Jimin has fucked up big time.

“And what about the hug?” he asks for the last time, to make sure he resolves any misunderstanding.

“What hug? Oh, you mean on my birthday? Dude, that was just her coming clean about her past crush on me and us moving past this like a couple of adults.”

Jimin’s throat constricts uncomfortably but in unbelievable hope. “Past crush?”

Seokjin’s smile is nearly audible. “Yeah, “past”. Know why? Because she has feelings for someone else.”

And just as easily as Seokjin has given him hope, he just as easily rips it away.

“Oh…?” Jimin barely manages to utter, voice almost breaking alongside his heart. “Who?”

Seokjin groans on the other side, taking Jimin wholly by surprise by the irritated tone in the older man’s voice. “Oh my god, you really are both idiots,” he says almost to himself, “You, you soggy tit! Do you really think she did all that to Dinah simply because she didn’t like her? No, she was fucking jealous!” Seokjin concludes, voice rushed and angry to berate his friend and finally put an end to this huge mess.

But Jimin hears only one word.

You.

She has feelings for you.

The girl he’s been in love with for nearly a year now, if not more, has feelings for him. Reciprocated feelings.

Is this real? Is this a fucking dream from which he’ll wake up in the morning, feeling shittier than ever?

But Seokjin said she was jealous. Jealous.

“She- She was? Seokjin, just…” he stops himself to take a calming breath, refusing to believe this just yet, “Please, don’t joke about this, I’m not gonna laugh,” he warns his friend. He can’t bear to have his heart messed with any more than it already has been.

“Does it sound like I’m joking? Believe me, I wouldn’t, we’re all too invested in your shit, it’s not healthy.”

Jimin can’t believe this. He wants to, desperately, but what if it’s not real? What then?

“I…” he swallows his nerves, “She really has feelings for me?” he asks, not unlike a hopeful child. God, his heart is about to burst.

“Yeah, buddy, I know it’s hard to believe when I exist!” Seokjin tries to lighten up the mood with a joke.

Jimin doesn’t laugh.

“...Too soon? Sorry, anyway, I thought you should also know Y/N really feels awful for everything and if there’s one thing that can confirm that, is the fact she apologized to Dinah,” Seokjin concludes carefully.

Jimin doesn’t know how to respond.

“But if you don’t believe me… Ask Y/N herself.”

But he knows what to do.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’re washing the dishes, alone at home for another hour at the very least as Jimin’s classes end in one hour.

Should you go to Ana’s? Ugh, but Hoseok is there.

Maybe you should just hole yourself up in your room for the scarce time Jimin will be here before he’s off to Dinah’s.

Which reminds you of earlier today.

In Dinah’s defence, she handled your apology quite gracefully, in contrast with you. You were a babbling mess, trying to put your thoughts into place and at first, she was suspicious of you, but once your visit made sense, she seemed to understand. Something even you couldn’t at times.

She accepted your apology with a calm smile, confusing you even more as she said she appreciated your effort to put all of this behind you.

You were glad she seemed to not hold it against you although, honestly… you don’t think you deserve it.

You have no idea if she’s planning on telling Jimin or not and quite frankly you’re terrified of what he’ll say if he finds out.

Once you’re done with the dishes and close the tap, you hear the front door open and close, assuming it’s Hoseok back from Ana’s.

“Hobi, is that you?” you ask before turning around, only to almost choke on your own breath when you see Jimin instead.

He’s standing just in front of the door, not going forwards or backwards, as his eyes stare at you. Serious, careful but calm. No anger residing in them. Just awkwardness as he seems to not know what to do with himself, as he simply rests in place and somehow a tiny drop of hope begins to bloom.

“I… Don’t you have classes?” is the first thing you manage to get out of your mouth and he takes a breath.

“I had to get out early…” he responds and you can’t help but focus on the “had to”. Did Dinah talk to him after all?

“...Why?” is your careful question, when in reality your mind is in a state of disarray. Is this a good sign? A bad one? Is he here to restore your friendship to what it used to be or finally cut ties with you and move out?

Your mind is gonna short-circuit.

“I…” he begins, eyes falling to the floor. Then he takes another breath. “I had to talk to you,” he says.

Oh god. This is it. You’re done.

Your throat closes up as you blink quickly trying to stop your eyes from welling up. Damnit, you already cried so much about this, you shouldn’t have any more tears left!

He takes a tentative step forward, eyes finding yours once again. But they look… soft, tender. Apologetic.

“I… I’m sorry. For the way I acted,” he breathes out and your eyes widen, having to do a double-take to make sure you heard right. “I was too harsh on you, basically taking out my nerves on you and even though what you did was awful, I shouldn’t have taken such drastic measures. I took it too far by saying we shouldn’t be friends and I’d like to take it back if you want to…” he concludes, observing you cautiously.

You’re left staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Is he serious? Did he just apologize to you like he was the one at fault?

“Jimin, oh my god, you shouldn’t have to apologize, I should!” you rush to say, instinctively grabbing his hands to soothe him, completely missing the taken aback turned loving look in his eyes.

“I acted way out of line and truth be told I think I needed that as a wake-up call. You were right, what kind of friend am I if I don’t try to get along with the girl you’re dating?” you continue, too self-conscious to be able to look Jimin in the eye, instead staring at your joined hands with a new kind joy.

You got your best friend back. And if keeping him means you have to bury your feelings for him, then you’ll do it. For real this time. Whatever it takes to not lose him again.

Jimin chuckles in response. “Used to date,” he corrects you.

This time though you can’t help it when your eyes snap back at him. “What? What do you mean?”

Where you expected to be a sorrowful expression, there is none. Instead, Jimin is looking at you with a soft smile, a serene one, one that matches the peace in his eyes. “We broke up,” he says and you can’t find the proper words to react to this.

“Oh… H-how so?” you say instead, unwillingly holding your breath.

Jimin’s eyes rest on your face for a moment, that damned smile still gracing his lips, before his eyes fall to your hands. “I guess you helped me realise some things with what you did,” is his cryptic response.

But before you get to question his answer his eyes turn stern, with a note of mischief hiding in their corners. “That does not mean what you did was okay, though,” he says, pointing his finger at you like a teacher disciplining a child and you chuckle at his attempt of lightening up the mood.

“Believe me, I know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself…” you respond, rubbing a hand awkwardly at the base of your neck, still awfully aware of your other hand still connected to Jimin’s.

“Well…” he says quietly, his eyes on your joined hands, “Good thing I did then…” he mutters, his thumb running over the back of your palm soothingly and once your eyes meet his, you know you’ll be okay.

After that talk with Jimin, -that ended with the both of you watching Space Jam and cuddling to sleep-, everything is once again back to normal. The past week has been amazing compared to the one before it. You find yourself smiling all the time as your friendship with Jimin is back to its prime, laughter and joy returning to your shared apartment.

Your group returns back to its routine, hanging out together in front of the TV, roasting Hoseok for his abundant sexual energy, you know, the usual.

And yet you feel like something’s changed. More particularly, with Jimin.

You catch his eyes on you more than once, more than what could be considered normal but ever since you made up the two of you haven’t been left alone once. The guys are always around and, really, it’s not like you don’t want them to be but there’s always something hanging from Jimin’s mouth, something he wants to say but never does due to their presence. It’s slightly unnerving, reminding you of that night outside your bedrooms when he wanted to say something but didn't.

You can’t tell if it’s good or bad. All you know is suddenly your knees shake when he looks at you for too long and you have goosebumps whenever his skin touches yours.

So that’s why tonight you chose to sit on the lone armchair as he sits next to Hoseok on the big couch and Ana is placed next to Seokjin on the small one.

Somehow the conversation managed to go on that New Year’s party and Seokjin ended up spilling about your kiss.

“You said “we take this to the grave”!” you respond with a low voice, trying to mimic him unsuccessfully as Ana and Hoseok stare at you with eyes wide as saucers. Jimin, for some reason, looks unresponsive to the news yet he laughs at your bad impression of Seokjin.

Seokjin at least has the decency to look guilty as Ana’s scandalized eyes turn to you. “You kissed?!”

You raise your hands in defence, for some reason avoiding to look over at Jimin. “I didn’t do it on purpose! Well… I kinda did but not with the motive you’d assume,” you rush to explain, though Ana is less than satisfied.

“Oh then with what motive? Please amuse me, hoe,” she responds, crossing her hands on her chest and you huff out in annoyance.

Seokjin answers her. “Well, obviously, she wanted a piece of all that. I’m pretty irresistible to all humankind,” he jokes lightly and you suppress a snort.

“Yeah, no, this ain’t it, chief,” you rush to say, suddenly nervous, not wanting anyone to think you’re still into Seokjin.

Actually, replace “anyone” with just “Jimin”.

Seokjin gasps in offence. “What in the world do you even mean?! You’re lucky I kissed you and not just because you got rid of that dude! I’m a pretty good kisser, no scratch that, I’m an excellent kisser, a connoisseur of kissing if you will!”

“I think I won’t be able to kiss anyone after that…” Hoseok responds which makes Seokjin gasp once more before he looks over at you.

“Y/N, tell them the truth. How my kissing is so utterly magnificent, it could end world hunger!” he says before actually hearing what he just said then deciding against it, “Nope, can’t do that, sorry, that’s on me.”

You chuckle at his antics, although a bit reluctant to actually reveal the truth.

“Actually…” you start.

Another gasp resonates. “Don’t “actually” me! Just tell them!”

You turn to the other guys with a roll of your eyes.

“Look, it’s not like you were a bad kisser per se. It’s just that it was a bit… lackluster?” you finish, almost afraid to see Seokjin’s reaction to the reveal.

Jimin suppresses a chuckle, Hoseok oohs from the side and Ana’s eyes widen in surprise.

Seokjin looks at you with disbelief.

“Lackluster?”

You rush to make amends. “I mean it’s okay given I took you by surprise, but due to that crush I used to have on you, I had this notion of a kiss full of passion. And that one just… didn’t have it.”

Seokjin pouts angrily at you before crossing his arms on his chest as Ana pats his shoulder soothingly. “I can’t believe you just said my kiss didn’t have any passion.”

You shrug. “Well, it didn’t,” you say as a matter of a fact before Ana jumps into the conversation.

“It’s probably a good thing your kiss didn’t have any passion, it just means your friends. No chemistry there so don’t beat yourself up too much, champ,” she says with an affectionate pinch on Seokjin’s cheek, who ponders on her input.

“Yeah, Ana is right!” you rush to agree. “It’s because we’re just friends! When you find someone you really like, believe me, it’ll be nothing like that,” you go off track a bit as certain memories reappear. “It’ll be full of passion and yearning and not getting enough of each other, you’re not sure if you can go on without kissing them!”

And somehow by the end of that, your eyes fall on Jimin’s and stay there.

Because he stares back.

“Okay, I think we heard enough about Seokjin’s kissing techniques,” Ana comments, breaking the spell and your eyes fall to your lap, fire residing in your cheeks.

“I just have one last comment on what I think Seokjin could’ve used but didn’t cause he’s a wuss,” Hoseok jumps in.

“Tongue.”

A round of gagging noises is heard around the apartment.

The hours pass by smoothly and soon everyone’s getting sleepy. Seokjin leaves early, having to go to the restaurant first thing in the morning, leaving the rest of you to clean up.

Once again Jimin picks up the trash with Ana as Hoseok helps you do the dishes. The apartment falls into a comfortable silence with the occasional chatter between the four of you while you clean up. Hoseok is to sleepover at Ana’s so when you’re all done the couple bids you goodbye, heading to Ana’s apartment.

Leaving you and Jimin totally alone.

Which is something that shouldn’t scare you but for some reason your nerves are going through the roof.

“Are you done with the kitchen?” Jimin asks from the living room, where he’s rearranging the pillows on the couch.

“Yeap! Just finished!” you call back, your voice a bit higher than usual and you cringe internally before clearing your throat.

“Good, I’m going to bed then,” he responds as you walk out of the kitchen.

“I’ll walk with you,” you respond with a smile, following him into the corridor.

You walk in comfortable silence, but still, you find yourself getting nervous as you walk side by side. It doesn’t make any sense.

Once you reach your bedrooms, both of you turn around to face each other, seemingly unwilling to depart just yet. Jimin looks at you with a soft smile as you grab at the opportunity to talk to him.

“Jimin, I just… I’m really happy we got past that and again I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused,” you say in what seems like the hundredth apology this week.

Jimin’s smile grows fonder as he shakes his head gently. “I told you, you should stop apologizing, I’m no longer mad at you,” is his quiet reply as he tilts his head, his eyes staring at you in a way it makes your heart race.

“I know I just… That week we spent not talking to each other was the worst week of my life and I…” you pause searching for the right words, but no words could ever describe the magnificence of what you’re feeling right now, the desperation of wanting to have him in your life. So you simply stare at him, out of breath, hoping he gets it.

His smile is one of the best things you’ve ever seen and you know he does.

You smile back. “Anyway, I’ve gotten too sentimental…” you chuckle, clearing your voice to sound more collected.

Jimin giggles softly. “Happens to the best of us…” he responds gently and you have to remind yourself to not stare. Even if he does and it makes you feel out of breath.

You nod with a smile. “Well…” you respond nervously, yearning for the moment you’re alone in your room, free of all this tension. “Goodnight,” you say simply, turning around to get to your door.

But a hand wraps itself around your wrist, turning you around suddenly. Your hands naturally fall to Jimin’s chest as his palms wrap around your waist and hair as his lips fall fervently on yours.

Your mind goes into overdrive and you can only kiss him back.

His plump lips wrap around your own softly but with an intense sense of urgency, a soft gasp falling from your lips as your hands are quick into grabbing his shirt to pull him unbelievably closer. You respond with just as much hunger, letting your mouth move fervently against his own, pushing more and more against him, aiding his hand that’s tangled in your hair, gripping the locks as if he can’t get enough. Then both of his palms are on the small of your back, holding you close as if fearing you’ll leave. But you never do and that makes him press more against you until your back hits the wall next to your door.

The impact makes Jimin lean back just enough to stop the kiss, but his eyes still remain glued to the image of your swollen lips, as you almost lean after his own.

Your heavy breaths mingle in the otherwise quiet corridor, his hands still on your waist, yours still on his open shirt as you try to wrap your mind around what just happened.

“Did you mean something like that?” comes out his gruff, deep voice that sends a shiver down your spine.

His question brings you back to the earlier conversation about a perfect kiss and you can’t control your breathing any more than your beating heart.

You nod quickly, eyes still on his lips. “Yes,” is your breathless answer.

Jimin’s still breathing heavily as his eyes land once again on your lips.

“Good.”

And then he’s kissing you again.

And, fuck, you can’t get enough.

Your palms land on his neck as you stand on your toes to reach him better and his hands wrap around your waist to keep you in place.

Fuck, you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you back. As if he’s a man starved of your kiss and he needs anything you can give him.

But then he stops again and you almost groan out loud.

“You need to stop doing that…” you exhale with an affected chuckle and he chuckles as well.

“I just… I need to talk to you before anything else happens….” he whispers and even though you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you can’t help but feel a pang of fear in your chest.

“I…” he says, eyes dazedly looking at your face before he takes an encouraging breath.

“I want you to know that this isn’t like last time. It’s more, it means more, I-” he stops once more, voice trembling as he refuses to look anywhere else but you.

His words give you hope but for the first time in weeks, you welcome that hope. You welcome that glorious feeling to settle deep in your chest because you recognize that warm glint deep in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he reveals and you swear your heart will burst. There’s moisture in your eyes but you will it to go away.

“You are…?” you ask with a small voice and Jimin smiles at you, all happiness and comfort. There’s a fuzzy feeling in the middle of your chest and at this moment nothing makes any more sense than you two.

“Yes. And I spent the past year trying to run from it…” he admits carefully as he slightly crouches down to meet your eyes.

“I’m not running anymore…” he concludes, a spark in his eyes and you’ve never seen him more sure for anything in his life.

There’s a whirlwind of emotions in you. Relief, hope, undeniable joy. It makes your throat close and for a few seconds, you can’t answer him. You only stare back and hope he understands like so many times before.

“I-” you manage to choke out with a weak voice but he’s quick to shush you, before kissing the inside of your palm.

“I know…” he responds softly, still holding onto your palm as his eyes find yours. You can’t look away, couldn’t if you wanted to.

And then you can’t stop smiling, and he’s smiling back and before you know it you’re kissing again.

Happiness rolls like a current between, from all the places your bodies touch, you can’t contain it so you keep on kissing fervidly, hands touching whenever they can, mouths moving in tandem like it’s natural. Like it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

“God, I have so much I want to tell you…” he whispers against your lips before he’s diving back in, tongue reaching out to meet yours.

“Me too…” you reply after a few seconds, pushing him closer as your fingers tangle in his hair. “But not now…” you whisper sternly, pushing your chest against him, needing to feel more of him.

He curses under his breath, the sound sinful, licking his lips before he’s kissing you again and his hands fall lower down your back to rest over the swell of your ass.

You moan in appreciation when his hands grab at the tender flesh, making you arch out so he has better leverage. There’s a throbbing between your legs and you resist grinding on him just yet, to drag it out as long as you can.

Jimin’s lips move down the column of your throat as his body cages you against the wall, hands keeping your hips still as he wedges one leg between yours, so his thigh can press upright against your mound.

You moan again when he leaves a particularly deep hickey on your skin and your hips instinctively roll against his thigh, your hands holding on to his back afraid you might fall.

He chuckles darkly against your skin. “Still into thighs I see…” he mumbles before biting softly at your earlobe, a shiver running down your spine.

You bite your lip before, “Correction, still into your thighs…” you admit as you roll your hips slowly on top of his thigh, starting to feel that delicious warmth building up in your stomach, making you feel dizzy.

Jimin almost bucks into you with a low moan, as his hands are certain to leave marks on your hips as he struggles to remain sane.

“Fuck… Although I’m really tempted to just fuck you here, we should probably move…” he murmurs between kisses to your collarbone and you have half a sane mind to agree. The other half is already picturing him doing it either way.

But before you get to move, his arms are quicker, lunging under your thighs and you instinctively wrap them around his waist with a surprised yelp. His palms are resting right on top of your ass, subconsciously pushing you closer, making your insides burn in anticipation.

There’s a smirk on his lips as he licks them, eyes roaming your face to make sure you don’t have second doubts. Although your eyes are glued to the movement of his wet tongue.

When he realises this, he’s quick to move towards his room as you choose now as the perfect moment to lick and suck bruises on his neck, not able to deny yourself any longer.

“Shit… Y/N, if you keep this up I’m gonna drop you…” he mumbles with a stern but clearly-affected voice and you smile in victory before softly biting at his skin, savouring his taste on your tongue.

He kicks his door open before he carefully lays you on his bed, lips immediately after your own as you reach for his neck to desperately press more of him against you.

Your palms move down his chest, grabbing the edges of his flannel to push it off his shoulders, leaving him in his T-shirt and jeans.

“Why are you wearing so many clothes…?” you ask breathlessly, immediately reconnecting your lips like a woman starved and Jimin chuckles, grabbing the hem of your T-shirt instead and pushing it upwards. You sigh in relief as soon as your heated skin is free, yearning to feel more of his skin against yours.

“Just trying to keep myself warm,” he comments rushedly as he discards the piece of clothing somewhere behind him and his eyes fall to your covered breasts. He curses, lowering his face to kiss down your collarbones until his lips reach the bare top of your tits. His mouth leaves a wet trail behind that’s making you gasp as your thighs rub together to gain some relief.

Jimin notices and chuckles darkly before biting your bottom lip. “You want any help there?” he teases and you groan out loud with a pout.

“Yes, but please take your clothes off a little bit faster. It’s making my dick soft,” you whine, bucking your hips towards him.

He pins them down between his own legs, forcing them to stay still. His fingers toy with the waistband of your leggings as your breaths turn heavier while only looking at his eyes.

“Aw, so I won’t have my ass rawed by your dick? Such a shame baby…” he teases once more with a sinful smirk and the last word has your eyes rolling back into your head.

“Fuck, say that again…” you murmur, arching your chest upwards as you feel moisture gather between your legs, just by the single mention of a nickname.

Jimin laughs out loud as he moves to get your leggings off and you’re quick to aid him. “Is this really what turns you on?” he comments playfully as he leans in, lips kissing the underside of your jaw.

“No, I meant…” you stop, suddenly self-conscious, “... the other part…” you mumble quietly, turning your face to the side, knowing a deep red has taken over your cheeks. It’s not simply about the nickname or the tenderness in his voice as he said it. It’s about what it represents, what you already heard from his lips but you simply can’t have enough of. It makes everything real.

Jimin regards you for a second before, “What? Baby?” he asks, rather innocently and yet you still can’t look at him, too embarrassed as you nod.

Jimin’s eyes turn softer as he bites his lip to contain his smile. Fuck, he’s so in love.

He moves to press a tender kiss to your jaw. “Baby,” he repeats slowly, before resting his lips on your collarbones and you sigh in content. “Baby…” he says again, leaving a kiss in the valley between your breasts, making your breath hitch. “Baby…” he moves lower, dragging his plump lips down your torso as your breaths quicken, the sound of the nickname having your heart making somersaults.

“Baby…” he whispers lowly one last time, the tone completely different, darker, more promising. His eyes rest on you as his face now lays above your panties. Then his hands are hooking behind the waistband, dragging the material down your legs and he bites his lips at the sight of your glistening folds.

“God, I wanna taste you so bad…” he says almost to himself and before you get to react, he hooks your legs on top of his shoulders and his tongue lands with kittenish licks on your clit.

An involuntary groan escapes you, bucking your hips into his mouth for more. And yet he maintains his pace, sending waves of pleasure up your body but never enough to get you where you want to. You can’t help the movement of your hips as you crave for more friction, his movements delicious but never enough. Jimin pins your hips down, tsking you before he presses a kiss at the junction between your thigh and cunt.

“You’ll get what you want, baby, all in due time…” he says sternly, his voice low, sending shivers down your spine as his mouth returns to your clit, and you bite your lip to drown your moan.

Though now, he leaves aside the kittenish lick to wrap his mouth around the swollen nub and suck it between his lips.

A loud moan breaks free from your lips, heavy pants resonating as his plush lips envelop your clit, finally giving you more, moving expertly against your folds and your hands find purchase on Jimin’s locks to press him more against you.

He lets you do as you please while one of his hands travels up your torso, pushing your bra’s cups down to toy with one of your nipples.

The added pleasure has you cry his name in ecstasy, losing all control of your hips as they move against Jimin’s face, as if they have a mind of their own, chasing after your high like a madwoman.

And as one hand tugs at your erect nipples, the other finds this chance to move down your body and trace around your entrance, making your pussy clench in anticipation. Before finally pushing two digits inside your velvety walls.

“Jimin!” you almost sob, your hips furiously chasing after your high as you feel the warmth building up more and more inside your stomach.

His fingers keep thrusting inside you, slowly at first to let you get used to the intrusion, before he picks up the pace, moving them quickly, roughly inside you. Knuckles deep as his fingertips find that little soft spot inside your walls that has your eyes roll to the back of your head.

And when you open your eyes and see Jimin staring you back with darkness and lust in his own from between your legs, the band snaps.

You come with a loud moan, riding your orgasm against Jimin’s tongue, as the pleasure seems too much, too intense. But then the feeling starts to fade away and Jimin lets you relax as he leaves butterfly kisses against your thighs.

You try to catch your breath as Jimin’s kisses move upwards, up your stomach, to your breasts until he’s kissing you again. Your hands move to wrap around his neck, never having quite enough of him.

“This is not fair, you know…” you chastise him playfully, kissing his underjaw when a quiet moan rolls from his tongue.

“What’s not fair?” he asks, trying to keep up with the conversation but judging by the way his hip rut against you, you know he’s struggling.

“The fact I’m completely naked while you still have your clothes on…” you observe with a cock of your eyebrow and a smirk grazes his lips as his finger tugs at the elastic of your bra and lets it snap against your skin.

“Ah but you’re not completely naked…” he teases against your lips as his fingers move down your body in a sensual caress.

But being you, you take that as a challenge. So you push him slightly away just so you can move your hands behind your back and unclasp your bra with one movement.

Jimin’s eyes go wide as you flick the undergarment across the room, swallowing heavily before his eyes return to your bare chest.

“Now I am…” is your witty retort as you subtly arch your back just so he can have a better view. He stands there staring at you for a few seconds before he curses and moves quickly to get rid of his clothes.

You giggle at his impatience when he ends up stuck in his T-shirt, sporting an adorable pout. “Easy, baby, I’m not going anywhere…” you joke, sitting up to help him take off his t-shirt with a soft smile, one he reciprocates as he moves to unbuckle his pants.

“Well, it wasn’t me getting too impatient to- Wait…” he stops mid-sentence after taking his pants off. A spark of realization has entered his eyes before he turns to you to meet you with a teasing smile.

“Did you just call me baby?”

Your eyes widen in shock as a blush creeps into your cheeks and with a scoff you lightly shove him for daring to make fun of you.

“Y-you said it first, genius!” you try to justify yourself with a frown, but Jimin’s smirk only grows as he pushes aside his pants and crawls towards you.

“Yeah, but I’m not the one that spent more than half her life refusing to call her partners that because it’s cheesy…” he comments playfully as he traps you beneath his body once more.

“Even if the rule never applied to her…” he smiles teasingly at you, brushing his lips softly against your pout, reminding you that even if you never called your partners “baby”, you never stopped them from calling you that.

You purse your lips together as you look at your fidgeting hands, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “Well…” you begin, swallowing the lump in your throat, “...you’re different…” you mumble quietly, not really ready to look at him even if you know he feels the same.

That has him halting, and as he sees you too uncomfortable to go on, he doesn’t say anything else. He presses a soft kiss to your knee instead, wishing to convey everything he feels as well through that small kiss.

The movement of his lips on your skin is so tender that has your heart flutter and, while he looks back at you, his smile puts your embarrassment to rest. Because he’s here for you because he feels the same.

“I know it comes a little late but… Can I kiss you?” he asks softly, eyes stuck on your face, tracing your features as if he hasn’t really seen you before, not until now.

The question has your heartbeat quicken even though it’s completely unnecessary. Though your lips stretch out in a smile as you nod.

Jimin leans closer, eyes on your lips as if he’s under some spell. You suppose it’s the same you’re under.

You let his lips envelop yours gently, hands tangling in his hair as you both find yourselves moving back until you’re lying down with Jimin on top of you.

Your hands are greedy to explore his body, even though you’ve done so before. Though that time you’re main motive was to get off, so now gives you the perfect opportunity to get reacquainted with his body, to map out every little detail to memory, until he’s the only thing you see.

His lips move lower to kiss and bite at the column of your throat, eliciting the sweetest moan from your lips that sound like music to Jimin’s ears.

Your breaths get quicker, hands moving recklessly to get rid of the remaining piece of fabric that separates you. Jimin rushes to help you, throwing away his boxers, now standing in his complete naked glory.

There’s nothing else to say, not really when a single look can convey everything you feel without unnecessary words. And the way Jimin looks at you right now makes you feel like you’re in heaven. Like you’re cared for, safe and content right here in his arms.

His hand brushes a lock behind your ear and the motion is so tender, loving, it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Are you ready?” he whispers softly, eyes gentle, ready to back off if you say so, reminding you of yet another reason you’re so helplessly in love with him.

You simply nod, too afraid to talk but your smile is all it takes for Jimin to go forward.

He grabs the base of his shaft, eyes glued at that spot between your legs with anticipation. He moves forward, guiding his tip through your folds, going slowly in case it’s painful but the look of pure bliss on your face and the way your walls welcome his cock has him losing control and going the rest of the way in with a deep thrust.

Your nails claw into the skin of his back with a loud cry while Jimin breathes deeply against the skin of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

“Fuck, I-...” he exhales, lost in the feeling of your pussy wrapping around him like a grip. “... You okay?” he says breathless, eyes searching yours for anything that’s not okay.

A breathless chuckle escapes you as you press your lips on his jawline. “More than okay. But please move.”

“Oh, thank god….” he mumbles before pulling out and thrusting in again. His movements are slow, yet the perfect pace to help you build up slowly but surely towards a second high.

Jimin rolls his hips with the expertise only a dancer could possess, driving his cock deeper and deeper with each roll, hitting that spot again and you can’t help but close your eyes to savour this feeling.

Shallow breaths leave you as his pubic bone brushes against your clit with each motion, driving you crazy.

“Ugh, you feel… mm’ so good…” he mumbles between thrusts, letting his lips land on your breasts, to suck lovebites on your skin.

“Jimin, fuck…!” you cry out, high-pitched moans escaping you as your hands go to his ass, coaxing him to drive his cock even deeper.

He growls from above your chest before you feel his palm cupping your cheek. “Open your eyes for me, love…” he mumbles quietly and you have no choice but to comply.

Opening your eyes, you’re met with Jimin’s piercing ones, staring at you intensely, burning with unspoken feelings that are too easy to recognize. After all, you feel them too.

You move to the side to kiss the inside of his palm before you smile at him.

He smiles back fondly at you before his hands move to lace his fingers with yours at each side.

“Keep your eyes on me, love…” he whispers before moving again.

This time around, his pace is slightly quicker, his cock hitting your sweet spot with renewed vigour and yet you can only concentrate on his eyes. His eyes that stare at you with such fondness and love it makes your eyes water.

You see the frown on his face before he stops moving in concern, yet you push your heels on his ass to keep him going.

“No, it’s okay, I’m okay, keep going…” you say, almost choking with the emotions overwhelming you. “It’s just that… I can’t believe I’m so lucky…” you admit softly, an unbelievable chuckle escaping you as you stare at him with what you hope he sees as undeniable adoration.

He smiles at you again, -you think you’ll never get tired of that smile-, before he leans in to kiss away the stray tear that flowed free from your eyes.

He picks up the pace once more, resting his forehead on top of yours, as shallow moans roll off your tongue. Your high keeps approaching, you can feel it and still you’re only focused on his eyes. Soft grunts escape him as he drives his hips into you, getting closer to his high as well, his hands grasping yours as if they’re a lifeboat.

He brushes his lips gently against yours before “I love you…” he mutters against you and you think your heart is gonna burst.

You press another kiss on his lips before, “I love you too.”

And then you don’t say anything else as your high approaches and after a few more thrusts you both come entangled in one another, each other’s names on your lips.

You lay like this for a few moments, with Jimin’s body on top of yours as both of you struggle to catch your breaths. Then your eyes find each other again and everything seems so clear, so right.

You can’t stop smiling at each other like lovesick fools as you fall asleep next to each other, at last content.

When Jimin wakes up the next morning he thinks it was all a dream.

But as his eyes rest on your peaceful sleeping form he knows he could never dream something as perfect as this.

He can’t help the lovesick smile taking over his lips as he looks at you through sleep-ridden eyes. He shuffles closer, resting his face on his hands to get a better look while you sleep soundly next to him. He feels like he can never get enough of you. Not now, not ever.

Suddenly your body begins moving though your eyes remain closed and Jimin figures you’re still asleep.

“Stop being creepy…” you mumble with a sleepy smile and Jimin grins too, realising he was wrong.

“I’m not being creepy…” he argues softly, still smiling. You pop open one eye to look at him unimpressed before you yawn and open both your eyelids.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause it’s super romantic staring at me while I’m asleep, where can I find another man like that…” you tease him with a drowsy smile as your eyes find his.

He groans dramatically though his smile still remains. “You’re unbelievable…” he mumbles, his voice still gruff from sleep and you have to suppress a shiver before shuffling closer.

“I know but you love me…” you mumble against him before kissing his lips slowly. He lets himself get lost on the kiss before you lean back and he licks his lips to savour your taste.

“And now you can’t take it back!” you exclaim out loud before smiling mischievously at him.

Another groan breaks free from his lips. “Already regretting it…” he comments, checking your reaction from the corner of his eyes.

You gasp as if offended by his quip. “Well, maybe then I’ll just leave so you won’t regret it anymore!” you respond, gathering his sheet on your chest as you make a move to leave his bed.

But Jimin is faster, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you back on the bed, crawling on top of you with a predatory smile.

“Now, now, let’s not result in desperate measures…” he dives in for another kiss.

You can’t help but smile again as you kiss him, hands circling around his neck as he softly bites your bottom lip.

“Careful sir. You might trigger something dangerous here…” you whisper seductively, moving one leg so your thigh can rub against his already half-hard member.

Jimin’s smirk only grows. “Mmm, maybe I like danger…” he responds before his lips envelop yours once more. His hands travel beneath the sheet, tracing your skin before they move lower and-.

A loud bang echoes through the apartment, surprising both of you before a booming voice is heard through the walls, one that belongs to none other than Hoseok himself.

“Have you fucked yet or nah?!”

Your eyes widen, face immediately growing red. Jimin looks at you with an apologetic smile and before you get to ask why Hoseok is asking that, said man bursts into the room.

There’s a sudden explosion of sounds, you screaming as you hide beneath Jimin, Jimin cursing at Hoseok as he pulls the sheet to cover you both and Hoseok whistling at the image before him.

“Woah! You finally did it buds, I’m so happy for you!” he cheers you on as he steps inside to fist bump a very angry looking Jimin and a very visibly confused you.

“Hoseok, excuse my french, but what the fuck are you doing here?” Jimin is positively seething with his friends' interruption but as you see Hoseok basically beaming at the both of you, you can’t help but giggle at the absurd situation.

“I came to see if my buddies finally worked it out! And you did, finally! Can you imagine if you hadn’t and I’d burst through the door screaming that? That’d be awkwaaaaaaard!” he comments, too cheerful to notice Jimin’s deadly stare and you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“Right. That would’ve been awkward…” Jimin comments sarcastically though Hoseok still seems oblivious as he sits on top of the bed with a happy smile hanging from his lips.

You’re about to burst into giggles as you watch Jimin’s eyes growing wider in disbelief and you’re certain he’s gonna kill Hoseok any minute now.

“I’m so happy for you guys! My besties are finally dating!” he comments full of joy and Jimin is about to have smoke pouring out of his ears.

“Hobi, we’re happy too but I think it’d be better for you if you left…” you comment with a smile, pointing with your head at Jimin who’s about to lose it any second.

Hoseok’s eyes widen finally in realization. “Oh, whoops! Right, right, I’m leaving, keep going, stallion, show her how it’s done!” Hoseok throws finger guns at Jimin as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

As soon as Hoseok is out of earshot and you turn to look at Jimin you can’t help but burst into giggles by how absolutely mad he looks.

Though when you start laughing, Jimin’s incredulous stare turns to you. “Why are you even laughing?!”

Even though his ominous stare is directed at you, you can’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just too funny!” you say breathlessly through your giggles.

“Too funny?!” he asks incredulously before his gaze turns dark. His eyes have your laughter dying in your throat and instead another feeling rising up at the pit of your stomach.

“I’ll show you funny…” he whispers sinfully before he lunges forward and you forget what you were laughing at for the rest of the day.

There are more important matters to tend to.

#95line.net #btsguild #bangtan bookclub #kwritersworldnet #jimin scenario #bts scenario #bts jimin scenario #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts jimin fanfic #bts #jimin #bts jimin #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst

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fangirl-everythang · 3 years

Text

Happy Father's Day

Summary: (1/3) Y/n hasn't told Harry that she is pregnant yet, however, when the day comes around she finds out he's cheating.

Warning: Swearing, Taylor Swift Bashing (I love Taylor don't get me wrong, it's just for the story's sake.)

Word Count: 1492

It's been 5 weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to tell Harry the moment I found out. I scheduled a doctor's appointment to confirm it because you can't really trust generic pregnancy. But when the doctor confirmed it, I had no idea how to respond.

Hiding this from him has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Harry and I have been together for almost five years now. We met at his twenty-second birthday party in New York, I was twenty. He was pretty upset that he still had to tour for his birthday, but he said it was great making a new friend. Next thing you know we went public after two and moved in together for our third year. I'm so in love with him, but our careers are taking off, a baby would just interfere with all of it however Harry has always wanted children. He'd make such a great dad too, I can only imagine what our family will look like. But these thoughts often consume me, what if he doesn't want this?

I thought Father's Day would be the best day to tell him, you know like a surprise, and what a better time unless of course, he doesn't want our child. Our parents are coming over because of course, we have gifts and brunch so it's like three for one.

I've been distant from him recently, he's so concerned about me he thinks something is terribly wrong with my morning sickness and all. I figured I'd tell him with a gift which is a wooden base with yarn woven letters made of nails that spells 'dad' with the first ultrasound underneath, there's a card too! I'm so excited to finally start a family with Harry, I just hope he feels the same way. I have mugs for each of our dads that say, 'soon to be grandfather'. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. Opening the front door, I place the keys on the table next to me and walk the bags to the living room. That's funny Harry would've greeted me by now? He's probably asleep.

Setting up for later, I bring the balloons over realizing the tablecloths are upstairs. I work my way up the steps. These are gonna be a hassle with an extra 30-40 pounds on me. The closer I get to the top, I hear a light moan.

"I love y/n, she can't know about this" Harry's voice spoke.

Tiptoeing to peak into our bedroom I see my beloved boyfriend, father of my child shirtless kissing a pant-less Taylor Swift. Wow. Just my, fucking luck. Of course, he would! I mean what was I thinking.

"Of course not, my reputation is already bad" she breathes, cupping the side of his face.

I just watch him continue to kiss her after leaning into her touch. Debating whether to go in there, I feel frozen in my steps.

"This doesn't feel right" his deep voice sighs. No shit.

"She doesn't even care about you Harry, isn't that what you told me?" She says sweetly, such a snake.

He sighs and flips them, the scene before me, causes tears to come to my eyes. Opening the door making my presence known Harry turns to me with wide eyes while Taylor scrambles to find her pants and shirt.

"Y/n it's not-"

"I don't want to hear it" I say to him. Irritation and disgust line my voice. Grabbing the table covers I go back downstairs. I have what I need. After looking at my presentation admiring the work I've done. Harry and Taylor both come downstairs. His eyes red and puffy. I swear the tears make his eyes appear more beautiful, I hope my child has his eyes at least.

Astounded by my quiet stature he sits next to me and I stiffen. I'm just quiet because it's keeping me from crying. Taylor stares blankly at the floor.

"Why the fuck are you still here? Leave." I spit at her.

Oh, how I wish I could drink.

The doorbell rings alarming Taylor. I just walk her to the door and invite our parents in "Thank you Taylor" I say sincerely seeing her nod and pull off fast in her car. Tramp.

"What's that about?" Anne ask,

" New music" she smiles and comes in with everyone trailing her steps.

"Harry what's wrong love?" she asks wiping his tears.

"Nothing just allergies mum" she pats his back and sits at the table.

"Five years, I cannot believe it, Harry it's the longest you've had!" Rob states. "And the fans love you Y/n" Anne adds lightly patting my shoulder. "Our little girls all grown up" y/m/n wipes a fake tear from her eye. Everyone laughs. Thank god Harry is next to me so I don't have to look at him. He places his hand in my lap, but I push it off, going unnoticed by the crowd around us.

"Gift time!" I exclaim as he tries again. Placing each one down in-front of them, they all look up slightly confused.

"What's this?" Y/d/n ask.

"Open them, Haz just wait a few seconds after" they all agree. Rob opening his first then y/d/n they look at me then Harry, our moms looks match Harry's as he unwraps his gift. Stunned he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Y-you're pregnant?"

"Yeah, surprise." Our parents run up to hug us.

"It's about time, I'm getting old over here!" Y/m/n shouts. Once they leave excitedly picking out baby names. I refuse to look at Harry. I make my way upstairs and begin packing some clothing.

"W-what are you doing?" Harry ask quietly.

"What does it look like Harry?" I say pushing past him going to the bathroom and grabbing some necessities. He just leans on the door frame watching me, still refusing to look at him. At first, I cared but I've made up my mind.

"How far along are we?"

"I'm almost 6 weeks but that doesn't matter" trying to walk past him he just grabs my arm and pulls me into him.

"I love you so much," he cries into my neck. I just stand there, motionless "I'm such a fuck up. Please don't leave me. I want to be here for you, for our baby. Y/n please." His hot tears continue to stream onto my shirt leaving a wet patch.

I soon give in rubbing his back gently. "Calm down Harry," I whisper into his ear as his sobs get louder "Breathe, okay."

Sitting on the closest surface near me, today has been long; I'm tired and pregnant give me a break. He stands between my legs looking down at me. I love him I do, and I want the best for our child, but this hurt. The one request I've had is he doesn't cheat, and he did. I stare at my feet avoiding him at all cost until his hand lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I am asking you to stay." He states softly placing a random string of hair behind my ear. He slowly starts leaning in I don't stop him. Suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought of him kissing Taylor, I shove him away from me crying.

He tries to hold me, but I just shake my head frantically, "Harry No," I cry. "How could you!? In our house Harry!" I shout. Continuing to pack my things making myself mad at the thought of his hands all over his ex.

"Y/n I'm so sorry please just stop," clothes I need clothes, just for a few days I'll buy more later. Walking into the bedroom opening my laptop ignoring his pleads. I book a hotel for two weeks, until I situate what is happening. He just sits on the bed trying to see what I'm doing but I soon erased my browser history and factory restarted the device so he can't track anything. Let's combine our accounts so our calendars sync. A swell idea. Wiping my tears, I pack outfits for each day that wouldn't show anything to the paparazzi. He sits there with his head in his hand's sharp intakes of breath audible.

As I approach him, he assumes I'm going to touch him, but I simply go into the drawer next to him. Cringing at the thought of him and Taylor who were here not over 6 hours ago, Grasping the more recent black and white photos gently until I get a photo album for them. Contemplating for a minute looking at the small framed version of my uterus I carefully tear one off handing to him before I seal my bag and walk away, taking my keys and loading my stuff in the backseat.

Looking through the rearview mirror, saying a silent goodbye to the home I hoped to raise my child. It'll get better- I hope.

A/n: Hello Loves! This is also a piece I had on wattpad. Most of these posts today will be Wattpad uploads. I'm trying to see which platform suits my work best. Bear with me while I figure Tumblr out. Masterlist coming soon!

xoxo Janelle

#harry #harry styles #harryx reader #y/n #harry styles and y/n #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #writing #imagine #oneshot #smut #fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb

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pregnant-piggy · 4 years

Text

I’m having your baby - part V

Sirius Black x reader

series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, food, pregnancy

Words: 3.7k

------------------------------------------------

The car ride to the doctor is short. You sit next to James, who is driving. You haven’t talked to him about Sirius and you are not planning on doing so. You know how disappointed James is in Sirius. That is why you asked him to come with you to the doctor. You had made an appointment together with Remus, but this one agreed that you should take James. So now you are in the car with James. He has a big smile on his face, but he is not really happy. You know he feels terrible. This morning at breakfast he didn’t say a word and by the bags under his eyes you could see that he had not slept a lot, if even at all.

You arrive at the doctor five minutes later. James lets you out of the car and takes your hand like the real gentleman he is. You chuckle and squeeze his hand. He squeezes back but with less strength. You look up to him and see he is twitching his nose; something he always does when he is nervous.

‘Are you nervous, James?’ you ask and smile when James nods. You bump your shoulder against his arm. ‘That’s fine, I am nervous too. What if I am not pregnant at all?’ James head turns quickly to you.

‘What do you mean?’ he asks surprised. You open the door and let James in. You follow him to the waiting room.

‘Well, I have done a test, but those are not a hundred percent reliable. So it could be that there was a mistake and I am not pregnant after all,’ you explain. James shakes his head in confusion.

‘But what about the sickness? And the super emotions you have been experiencing?’ You laugh at James.

‘That is why I expect to be pregnant, but you never know.’ You give James a smile and he turns his gaze to a little boy that is playing with toys. His mother is reading a magazine and when her kid walks up to her she takes him in her lap and shows him pictures in the booklet. James snickers and then looks at you.

‘That could be you in a few years.’ You rest your head on James’ shoulder and close your eyes.

‘I know,’ you whisper back.

- -- -

‘Congratulations! You’re going to be a mother!’ the doctor says. You stare at her. Even though you already knew, you are stunned. Suddenly it feels so real.

You can’t concentrate on the rest of the appointment and all you hear is a soft buzzing in your ears. The doctor explains a lot to you, but you don’t really register it. Luckily James is sitting next to you, paying attention. You just stare at the doctor’s desk. After a few minutes the doctor is done talking and you look up.

‘I do wish to ask you some questions before you go,’ she says. You nod. ‘Alright. Do you smoke? ‘ You shake your head. ‘Drugs?’ Again no. ‘Have you drunk any alcohol since the fertilization?’ You shake your head again. She asks more questions about your health and you politely answer them. ‘And you are the father?’ the doctor asks James.

‘No, no. I’m just attachment,’ James says with a smile.

‘Oh, okay. Is the father still in the picture?’

‘Yes, but he does not know yet. The situation is… complicated,’ you say. The doctor smiles and writes something down.

‘That is fine, we get that more often here.’ The doctor smiles at you like she knows what is going on. She gets up and you and James follow her. ‘If you have any questions just call us or make an appointment and here-’ she hands you some leaflets ‘-read these, then you know what you can expect. I also advise on reading books, but you are still early in the process, so that is less relevant for now.’ You shake the doctor’s hand and walk out. James follows you and places his hand on your upper back.

The ride back home is just as silent as the way to the doctor, but this time the tension is different. Right before you arrive at home James finally says something. ‘I can’t believe you’re gonna be a mother! That is so… mature!’

‘Do you want kids?’ you ask and James nods.

‘Yeah, I do. But first I need to have a stable relationship. I would never be able to go through what you’re going through.’ James parks the car in front of the building and turns to you.

‘With Lily?’ you ask teasingly and James gets red. ‘She does really like you. You should stop showing off so much, then she’ll trust you more.’

‘I know, but what if she doesn’t? I am so scared I’m gonna mess this up, (Y/N)! She is perfect and I really like her!’ You giggle and get out of the car. James follows you and nudges you for laughing at him. ‘Stop that!’

‘Alright! But you should have more faith in yourself! You’re a great guy!’

‘I know,’ James says and you hit his head with the leaflets.

Meanwhile you have reached your front door. James opens it for you and lets you in. ‘Lady’s first,’ he says.

‘Then why didn’t you go before me?’ Now it is James’ turn to hit you.

You hear noise coming from the living room. Peter appears in the door. ‘How did it go?’ he asks. You hang up your coat and turn to Peter.

‘I am now officially pregnant,’ you say with a sigh. A big smile breaks through on Peter’s face and he takes you to the kitchen. With a steaming cup of tea in front of you, you and James tell Peter about the doctor’s appointment. James can answer all Peter’s questions and you don’t even know the answer to half of them.

After a while Remus also enters the kitchen. He is still wearing his pyjamas and you can see on his face that he didn’t sleep a lot last night too, so you give him some coffee. James is still talking about the appointment, but after a while he is done and the kitchen fills with silence. You stare at your now empty mug. The tension can be felt throughout your whole body and you know you are all avoiding to discuss what happened last night.

‘I’m gonna lie down,’ you say abruptly when you hear sounds coming from Sirius’ room. You quickly walk to your room and you see a flash of Sirius when you close the door to your room. You stay at your door and try to hear the conversation in the kitchen, but you hear nothing. You sit in your chair and go through the leaflets the doctor gave to you. You know much of the information already, but it is nice to have a more clear vision of what you will have to go through the next eight months.

After thirty minutes you have read everyhting and you are bored. And hungry. So you decide to eat something.

The kitchen, just as the living room, is empty. You don’t know where everyone is. It doesn’t happen very often that the whole house it quiet. Most of the time there are always people talking or the TV is on. But today it is silent. While making a sandwich you hum a song to yourself. Your head bounces along the non-existing beat. You turn around and are faced with Sirius. You almost drop the plate out of your hands at his sudden appearance.

Sirius looks terrible. Like he hasn’t slept in a week. His skin is pale and his hair is a mess. He looks like he has been in his room sick for a week. His eyes are darker than usual and the sparkle in them that you like so much has faded out.

You are staring at Sirius and he is staring back at you. After a minute you break the eye-contact and give him a cup of tea. Sirius stares at you while you continue to make your sandwich.

‘How are you feeling?’ Sirius asks you. A panicky thought shoots up your mind, about him knowing about the pregnancy, but there is no way that he knows so you try to push the thought away. Instead you turn to Sirius and look at him.

‘I’m fine, babe.’ You raise your eyebrow when he flinches at his nickname. It is not the first time you have used that, you always call him that. ‘How are you?’ you ask, ignoring his weird reaction. Sirius sighs and stares at his hands folded around the mug.

‘I don’t know. Terrible.’

‘I don’t want to make you feel any worse, but don’t you think you kind of deserve it?’

‘I do. I feel awful. I know I should’ve told you where I was. But I just needed some time alone, I needed to think. You understand?’ You give Sirius a smile.

‘Next time just tell us. We’ll leave you alone, I promise.’ You turn back to your sandwich and take a bite, but you have lost all appetite. You sigh and push your plate to Sirius. ‘You want this?’ Sirius thankfully accepts the plate and in no time the sandwich has disappeared.

While Sirius drinks the last of his tea, you look at him. He looks sick. You feel sorry for him, you know how bad he feels. And you know that you should probably tell him about the baby. But you can’t, you just can’t. Something is stopping you. Stretching your body you walk back to the living room. When you pass Sirius, you shortly place your hand on his back.

‘You should talk to James,’ you whisper and Sirius nods. He also gets up and follows you to the living room. But when you sit down, he also sits down instead of going to James’ room. You look at him. ‘What’s the matter?’ you ask him softly. Sirius takes a deep breath.

‘I’m scared,’ he admits. You smile and pull him into a hug. With your hand you brush Sirius’ hair. He puts his arms around you and your inside breaks. There are so many things you want to say, but nothing seems appropriate. So you say nothing.

‘Just tell him what really happened. You don’t have to tell me, Remus or Peter. But you do have to tell James. You owe it to him.’

‘Why are you always right?’

‘It’s a gift,’ you whisper in Sirius’ ear and then you place a kiss on his head. You softly push him in the direction of James’ room. ‘You got this, babe.’

There it is again. That flinch. You don’t know what it is. Why does he do that?

- -- -

After an hour you start to worry. Not a single sound has come from James’ room. You try to focus on your book, but you want to know if everything is alright. Remus has joined you in the living room and he is just as tensed as you. He hasn’t read a page of his book too and his leg is bouncing up and down.

You get up and takes Remus’ book from his hand. He follows you back to the couch without even looking at you. You put your arm around him and he rests his head on your shoulder. To make the silence disappear you turn on the TV. But it still doesn’t take the attention from the door just inches away from the TV.

‘How long have they been in there?’ Remus asks.

‘An hour already.’

‘Do you think everything is alright?’

You sigh but don’t answer. James and Sirius have little fights more often, but those are about who has to cook dinner or which football team to support. Then they don’t speak to each other for a few hours, but they always make up. Always. But, right now, you are not sure if James will forgive Sirius. Never have you seen him so angry and hurt as he was yesterday. Not even when Sirius’ parents cut their son off. James had been furious, but he had to stay strong for Sirius. Yesterday he had no one to be strong for, Sirius wasn’t there and James knows that he doesn’t have to hide his emotions from you.

Just when you want to get up to get some tea, the door opens. You freeze in the middle of your action. Your hand is on Remus’ thigh and his hand is in your side. Your nails drill into Remus’ legs and noticing by the tight grip in your waist it hurts him.

Sirius walks out of the room looking even more miserable than he did before you sent him to James. His skin is paler and his cheeks are wet from his tears. You can’t see James and by just Sirius’ terrible look you cannot conclude how their conversation went.

The black-haired mess walks to you and Remus on the couch, but when he looks up to you there is a small smile on his face. You relax and lean back onto Remus’ chest. Something you shouldn’t have done. Sirius’ smile immediately disappears and before even sitting down he turns on his heels and walks to his room. The door slams shut.

Panicky you turn to Remus, who is looking at the closed door. Then he looks at you and back at the door. ‘Go to him,’ Remus orders. You can sense by his voice that it is not a suggestion and hesitantly you get up and walk to Sirius’ door.

‘Babe? Is everything alright?’ you ask with a soft voice.

‘Like you care,’ Sirius sneers back and he snorts. Your jaw drops and you stare at the door. What? What does he mean? Why is he suddenly so angry?

‘Of course I care!’

‘Yeah right!’ You were afraid you were going to cry again, but now you are getting angry. You never did anything to hurt Sirius. Didn’t you make him tea and offer him your sandwich? Didn’t you help him with his talk to James?

Without saying anything else you open the door and walk in Sirius’ room. He is sitting on his bed and looks as angry as you feel. His clothes are scattered on the floor. The room still smells like alcohol.

You hear Peter talk in the living room and close the door behind you. You don’t want the others to hear the inevitable fight you are going to have.

Sirius looks at you and you look back at him, not wanting to break the eye contact.

‘What’s wrong?’ you ask and you try to disguise your anger.

Sirius jumps up from his bed and stares at you furiously. ‘What’s wrong?’ he spits. ‘Why don’t you ask your lovely boyfriend? I’m sure he knows what’s wrong!’

You laugh awkwardly and humourless. What is he talking about? He knows you don’t have a boyfriend.

‘Or is he also just a game? Do you also just sleep with him, then ignore him and then act like nothing ever happened? Do you also call him “babe” and make him believe you like him when in fact you are just playing a game? Is that what this is to you? A game? Am I someone on the side?’ You still don’t fully understand what Sirius is talking about but you do know that whatever he is talking about is complete bullshit. Your feelings are anything but a game to you and Sirius knows that. Apparently Sirius takes your silence as affirmation of his questions because he turns around and sits down on the side of the bed the furthest away from you.

‘Why don’t you just go back to your boyfriend? I’m sure Remus is dying to know what is going on here.’ Remus? Then it hits you. Sirius thinks you are dating Remus. That’s why he ran away when he found you and Remus on the floor yesterday and why he just ran to his room.

You sit down on the other side of the bed and turn to Sirius’ back. You choose your words careful.

‘Sirius, Remus is not my boyfriend.’ Sirius turns to you.

‘Really?’ he asks. His voice is still angry but you can see hope in his eyes. ‘Then why do you spend so much time with him?’

This is it. You have to tell Sirius. There is no more avoiding. If you don’t tell him right now, he will never forgive you. Then all your changes to maybe ever be with Sirius will be wasted.

After taking a deep breath you speak.

‘I’m pregnant.’

At first it looks like Sirius hasn’t heard your answer. He is staring at you with the same angry expression he had five minutes ago. You tilt your head to the side and squeeze your eyes a bit. After a minute Sirius opens his mouth and then closes it again. His angry expression changes into disbelief. He keeps shaking his head and his eyes widen.

Your whole body is shaking. For minutes all you do is stare back at Sirius’ face. The nerves are rushing through your body and you can’t think clear. All you can do is look at Sirius. The father of your baby, your crush, the boy who thought you were dating Remus, the boy whose eyes filled with hope when you told him that that was not true. Does he like you the way you like him? But then why did he leave you alone yesterday morning? Why did he disappear all day?

The room is silent and so is the living room. The other three boys make no sounds at all. Sirius still doesn’t move and you get more anxious with the second. It is like a balloon is being blown up in your stomach and it keeps getting bigger and bigger.

The balloon snaps. Sirius moves and speaks. The words don’t reach you. They sound like someone yells them at you from an isolated room.

‘Is it… mine?’

Slowly, after making sure you understand the words, you nod. Then the last thing you expected to happen, happens. A smile breaks on Sirius’ face. His eyes sparkle and his whole face lights up. He moves up his knees and gets closer to you. Taking your hands in his he places his face right in front of yours. A tear glistens in his eye and you let out a trembling laugh.

‘I’m gonna be a father? That is my baby? We’re gonna be parents?’

You laugh relieved and rest your forehead against Sirius’. You’re so close you can feel his breath on your skin. And he is breathing deeply and unstable. Just because he is excited, you think, but when his eyes shoot to your lips and back to your eyes you turn more red than you already were. Sirius moans softly when you bite your lip.

‘It kills me when you do that,’ he whispers and his breath on your skin gives you goose bumps.

‘Mm,’ you let out and bite your lip again. With a quivering laugh Sirius closes the space between the two of you.

The kiss is the same as and completely different than the kisses he gave you a month ago. His lips are the same, but they were hungry kisses then, kisses desperate for an answer. Now the kiss is soft and loving. Passionate but light. It doesn’t taste like alcohol.

Sirius moans again and you break the kiss smiling like an idiot. Sirius’ hands are on your back and you feel his fingers through your sweater.

‘You have no idea how bad I wanted to do that,’ he whispers.

‘I think I do.’

Your head drops on Sirius’ shoulder and you sigh from relieve. There were so many scenarios in your head, but you had never hoped that this would be the one that would play out. You had expected tears, screams and blames. Mentally you had already prepared to pack your bags and leave the apartment.

Sirius lets himself drop on his bed and you fall with him. You can see he is thinking and putting the pieces together.

‘You missed the first doctor’s appointment,’ you say interrupting his thoughts.

‘When?’

‘This morning. I went with James hoping it would make him feel better. The doctor is really nice. She gave me some leaflets, but if you want to know what she told you have to ask James. I wasn’t paying any attention.’

‘Thinking about me?’ Sirius grins.

‘I was! Remember, you disappeared?’

‘I know,’ Sirius sighs. ‘I’m sorry but when I saw you with Rem yesterday something in me snapped. Please don’t be angry! I already got it from James!’

You kiss Sirius one more time and then get up. He grabs your waist and pulls you back. No matter how hard you try, he won’t let you go.

‘Sirius please! I want to get out of here! The others want to know what is going on. Plus, it smells awful in here!’

Finally, Sirius lets you go. He watches you from the bed when you open a window. The fresh air immediately makes the room much nicer to be in. You pull Sirius from the bed and put his arms around you. He stares into your eyes and you feel butterflies in your stomach. With his soft lips Sirius kisses you again and you almost melt away.

The door opens and James appears. Shocked you and Sirius let go of each other but too late. James already saw you and is cheering now. ‘Remus! Peter! They were kissing! Finally!’ He walks over to you and puts his arms around each of you. ‘This calls for a party! But no-’ James keeps still and turns to you. ‘Does he know?’ he whispers in your ear and you nod. ‘Okay great! No booze! We don’t want an idiot baby!’

‘No we already have one of those,’ Sirius says and he pushes James out of the room. ‘That idiot baby can wait,’ he whispers before kissing you again.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The last one! Oh, I’m gonna miss writing this, but luckily there is many more to come. I hope you all enjoyed this series!

MASTERLIST

#sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #sirius x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black #sirius #marauders x reader #harry potter x reader #marauders imagine #marauders #marauders x y/n #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #peter pettigrew x reader #lily evans x reader #harry potter #jily

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kickingitwithkirk · 3 years

Text

Greetings From Austin: Part II

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Alpha!Jared Padalecki x Omega!OFC

Summary: Jensen and Jared are at odds over a monumental decision that changes their lives in a way they couldn’t have envisioned.

Word Count: 3985

Warnings: a/b/o, bisexuality, angst, cursing, self doubt, depression/anxiety, married life/disagreements, medical stuff, sexual dysfunction, infertility, surrogacy

*Jensen acting out of character

*additional warnings to be added in future parts.

A/N: series Inspired by this art.

A/N II: For this part I did some research & delved into a bit of reproductive/genetic testing-please don’t dink me on details, I altered it a bit to fit A/B/O verse.

A/N III: There is no intentional hate or malevolence intended towards any of the Ackles or Padalecki families. This is a purely fictional piece containing real and created persons/names/events set in the fictional A/B/O verse. Some dates/events altered to fit story.

Part I

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

*photos found online

One hour later

Jensen sets two sealed cups in the small niche shutting its door and grabs his jacket sliding it on, his inner Alpha purring with satisfaction watching his husband's fumbling fingers working at a button on his shirt, “Need any help babe?”

Jared’s all dilated pupils and glowing cheeks above his thick beard, “I’m good, I'll be out in a few.” Jensen leans in for one more soft, lingering kiss before leaving. Locking the door behind him Jared leans against it, closing his eyes, savoring the last vestiges of his oxytocin high.

He can’t stop recalling that mischievous glint in those luminous green eyes as Jensen slowly licked his plush lips before diving in to kiss him stupid, his long, sinful tongue doing things that’s probably illegal in twenty states, hands with ooh, so thick, talented fingers capable all sorts of magical things.

Shaking himself out of the memory he crossed over to the sink and caught his debauched reflection in the mirror. Shit, he can’t out looking like this.

Turning on the tap cups his hand to catch some of the running water splashing his face to cool off when his phone starts vibrating in his back pocket. Drying his hands and face he pulls it out checking the text. Glancing up he runs a hand over his thick beard, smoothing it down before leaving the room.

Completely preoccupied typing a reply he rounds the corner heading for the doctor's office slamming into a woman knocking her off her feet, the contents of the bag she’s carrying scatter loudly across the floor.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!”

From her seated position she looks up...and up, his long, long legs clad in low riding jeans barely held up by a loosely buckled leather belt, his shirts rucked-up, a bit of his treasure trail and toned abs flanked by the sharp V of his hip peeking out.

“FuckI’mfuckingsorryFuckdidn’tfuckingsee....”

Jared, embarrassed, keeps apologizing, laced with fuck every other word, squats down gathering scattered items, dropping them back into the bag continuously babbling until she bursts out laughing. “And here I be thinking I said fuck to much,” a subtle lilt in her voice making it sound like she’s saying fook instead.

They move around each other picking up the last of her stuff. Jared reaches for a scarf when the central air catches a few loose strands of her hair, lightly dancing them across his cheek.

He inhales sharply as her piquant scent travels through his system eliciting a rumbling purr deep in his chest, “Fuck..” She breathes out gazing directly into his kaleidoscope eyes, watching mesmerized as they bleed into red with arousal as her eyes flash gold in response.

“I..I..fuck..I’ve gotta go!” She sputters, scrambling to her feet, grabs the bag hurrying away, leaving him holding the scarf.

Lifting the forgotten fabric to his face Jared deeply inhaled her scent, reaching down presses against his cock chubbing up the second time that day. He morosely stares in the direction she fled in once more, a low whine of loss escapes before he tucks the scarf into his back pocket and resumes heading towards the doctor’s office.

Dr. Rodgers, standing just inside in a doorway observing unnoticed, makes a mental note.

***

Jensen watches amused as Jared sits down with a slight wince, a not unpleasant reminder of their recent interlude, teases, “Did I make that much of a mess out of you Jay?”

Jared shrugs with a nonchalant “eh.” Jensen lowers his chin leaning close growling his displeasure at the flippant response, Jared internally shivers knowing he’s gonna pay for it when they get home, much to his delight.

Jensen abruptly stops growling, “You stink like Omega!”

Dr. Rodgers comes in carrying a binder saving Jared from responding, “We’ll get your test results in about two weeks unless we see something that needs further investigation.” He sets down the binder in front of them, opening it to the first page revealing a dossier and picture.

“Now, the next bit is selecting an egg donor. I’m sure you're wondering how we select the donors. I rely on a protein compatibility test, similar to the markers blood test used when matching Alphas and Omegas, narrowing down prospective candidates.

All of our donors are Betas and Omegas. Several of the Betas are willing to be the surrogate too. If you choose to go with an Omega donor we will have the extra step of selecting a Beta surrogate but that’s something to discuss later if needed.

We also take into account your personal preferences when it comes to physical traits, personality, etc. I’ll introduce you to the top three that are the best matches. If for some reason none of them work out, we’ll try the next most compatible candidates.”

Dr. Rodgers clicks his pen, “Let’s get started shall we.”

***

Flipping off the light switch Jensen walks out of the bath to find Jared already asleep. Crossing over to their bed he stopped at his side admiring him.

How had he gotten so lucky to have Jared as his? Over fifteen years since that life changing meeting he was more in love with his mate than ever, the ups and downs in their relationship that could have torn them apart made their marriage stronger.

Jensen took hold of the book Jared had been reading, gently pulling it out of his hand, slid in a bookmark and placed it on the nightstand turning off the lamp.

Easing into his side of the bed he leaned over pressing a soft kiss to Jared’s bare shoulder, who only wore bottoms since he always ran warm. Shifting, Jared buries his face into Jensen's neck, draping a long arm across his chest snuggling close, “Thank you.”

“For what babe?”

“Helping me today,” he could feel Jared’s breath warm against his skin, “I know you're against having more but please don’t decide not to, I want to have pups with you.”

Jensen mentality sighed, he’d be forty-three before they were born and didn’t want to be the old dad. Jared had argued that he'd never be, they knew lots of people were having their families later, look at Reedus, fifty when his daughter came and JDM, he was almost fifty-two when George was born.

“I’ll make you a deal, I’ll say yes if we find one donor we both agree on,” he felt Jared’s emotions shifting more positive, “but if you like one and me another, I’m not doing it.”

Jared pressed several soft kisses to the side of his neck, “Okay Jen,” he agrees, shifting to lay his head on his shoulder, “we’ll find the one, I can feel it.” he sleepily finishes.

Jensen rests his cheek against the top of Jared's head, not fallen asleep for ages. How was he going to handle Jared’s inevitable disappointment, knowing it will happen since they have always had vastly different tastes in females.

***

Five days later

7:00 A.M.

Jared was up to mile three of his daily workout on the treadmill in his office. He usually ran outside this early in the morning but a surprise thunderstorm altered his plans for the day when his phone rang. He dialed the machine down to walking speed to answer.

“Hello, Mr. Page, this is Sissy from Dr. Rodgers office, I’m sorry to be calling so early. He would like for you to come back in for a follow up about your semen testing.” Jared’s throat tightened, closing off his ability to respond.

He stepped off the machine and sat down on the large leather couch, “Sorry I..what time can I come in?”

“We have an opening at 8:45, will that work?”

“Yes ma’am, I can be there then.”

“Great, we’ll see you in a bit Mr. Page.”

Jared sat back not caring he was getting sweat all over the leather and started his breathing exercise to calm himself, telling his brain to knock it off, surely it wasn’t anything major with how calm Sissy was on the phone.

Ten minutes later he was still anxious but able to handle it. He glanced at his watch and knew he had to get his butt in gear to make the appointment.

Walking into the bedroom he found Jensen softly snoring so he moved as quietly as he could grabbing some clean clothes and headed for the shower. He left a note by the coffee pot saying he had an errand and be back ASAP.

He pulled into the clinics parking lot with five minutes to spare. Tucking his hair into his ever present beanie, Jared slipped on his mask and dashed through the downpour into the clinic.

After being temperature checked, Sissy walked him to the doctor's office. Knocking on the door she opened it and Jared saw the doctor on the phone gesturing for him to come in as he finished his call.

“Hello Mr. Page, thank you for coming in. I wanted to go over a discrepancy the lab found with your test, I'll try not to use too much doctor jargon.” He layed three pages on the table in front of him, a color printout of a sperm DNA strand broke down into segments and the others Jared recognized as chromosome mapping. “These are part of the Alphas sperm DNA sequencing. Normally, this one has a wide band in this segment,” he pointed to a circled area on the right page demonstrating a normal sequence. “This is your sperm's DNA. What I wanted to show you is a variant in the same section,” he circled a column on the left page, “which contains a narrow band instead,” he highlighted one piece of the chain.

“What does it mean?” Jared asked nervously.

“I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t know, I’ve never encountered this variant before. I looked at your previous testing from 2016 and it was also present on that test, not sure why it was overlooked. I’ve consulted with a few colleagues of mine to get their take,” he paused resting his arms on the desk watching Jared’s expression, “Mr. Page, I didn’t ask you to come in to upset you, I prefer to keep my clients in the loop if anything unusual does present with their testing. It’s possibly something that's genetically unique to you and affects nothing. I’d like to run a Tunel test, it’s a sperm chromatin structure analysis, it’ll give us more information to work with.”

Jared fidgeted, desperately wanting to chew on his fingers, “Umm…okay.”

“Good, it's not invasive at all, we just need some more sperm.” Dr. Rodgers says.

~~~

Jensen was stumbling around the kitchen working on his first cup of coffee when Jared walked in carrying a box from his favorite bakery.

“Those aren’t what I think they are?” Jensen asks as Jared sits the box down on the counter. He opens the lid inhaling the scent of decadent cinnamon roll goodness before pulling out one and taking a huge bite moaning pornographically, “Babe, whatever I did to warrant these remind me to do it again,” he says with his mouthful.

Jared chuckles as his mate continues making obscene noises before bending down taken a bit from the other side earning warning snarl.

“You are so not a morning person.” Jared chided sliding the box over to retrieve his own taking it setting down at the island bar pulling a chunk off.

“You wanna share what’s rattling around in that big head of yours?” Jensen inquires. Jared chews slowly before answering. “I got a call from the clinic, something showed up in my test.”

Jensen snapped fully alert, his roll forgotten, and sat down next to him, “Jared, what’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Jared fiddled with his roll, pulling it apart, “No, not that I’m aware of but they found something off and don’t know what it is. Dr. Rodgers said it’s probably nothing but wanted to run another test to see if he can figure out what it is what if something is wrong and turns out I was the reason Genevieve couldn’t get pregnant I don’t know if I can handle it the possibility of not being able to have pups I’ve wanted them for so long I can’t imagine our lives...”

“Jared,” Jensen sharpness interrupts Jared’s incessant rambling, making him go quiet, “I know you want to go to the worst possible outcome but let’s wait till all the tests are back. If it’s something, we’ll deal, we always do.”

***

August 3rd

“Jen, move your ass, were gonna be late!” Jared bellows from downstairs.

“I’m coming...dammit!” Jensen cursed as he tripped over the boxes left sitting by the bottom step. “You need to get the rest of this shit out of the way, about killed myself again!”

“I’ll stay up tonight moving the rest of this fucking shit if you’ll get a fucking move on!”

The sniping at each other had gotten worse since the house renovations were barely completed before heading back to Vancouver.

Jensen moved his music studio into the newly created space in the basement from the former guest quarters, now relocated to the spacious pool house. The empty upstairs rooms were converted into the eventual nursery/kids rooms with a Jack and Jill bathroom between them.

“You better start watching your goddamn language cause the last thing we need is for our kids to have a trash mouth like…don’t roll your eyes at me!” Jared threw his arms up in disgust before storming out to the garage getting in Jensen’s truck. They drove to the clinic in silence.

They were flying out tomorrow to quarantine for two weeks before resuming shooting on the eighteenth. Then the clinic called their tests were back and Jared didn’t want to wait till they got back for the results.

After their temperature check they were immediately escorted to the doctor’s office finding him already there. “Mr. Bonham, Mr. Page, pleasure to see you, please have a seat.” They sit next to each other not touching. “Is there something wrong gentleman?”

“Why do you ask?” Jensen barks, “Fuck man, don’t be rude!” Jared bit back earning a glare that makes most sane people back away from Jensen.

“Gentleman, no need to fight. It may surprise you but I actually see a lot of hostility between my clients. I’m sure the added stress of the quarantine while trying to start a family is putting your Alpha instincts more on edge, is it not?”

Jensen sighed, “I’m sorry sir, I was raised better.”

Jared gave an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry too sir, and you're right.”

“I’ve been doing this for a long time and understand the situation from your side, my wife and I had trouble conceiving. We ended up having two sets of twins within three years, now that’s stress.”

Jensen blinked, “And I thought mine were a handful.”

Dr. Rodgers laughed, “They are a blessing but honestly, it’s an absolute madhouse at times. So, let’s get back to you two. Mr. Bonham, everything looks good, you are in the top percentile when it comes to mobility and live sperm count for your age group. One of the advantages of being an Alpha, unlike us poor Betas who’s diminish with age.”

“Mr. Page, I also have your results and the Tunel tests which turned out to be something.. unique.”

Jared eyes widened as he paled, his breath hitching, feeling his stomachs spastic tightening making him about vomit. He knew it, he knew something was going to go wrong, his brain didn’t lie to him this time.

Jensen was out of his chair and utilizing his Alpha strength turned Jared’s towards him before kneeling between his legs reaching up to firmly grip the sides of his head forcing him to focus on him opens up his side of their bond he’d shut the other day when they were arguing to gauge how bad this one was.

“Hey Hey, concentrate on me, I need you to breathe with me,” he held Jared’s gaze for several minutes as their breathing cinqued up, feeling him relaxing.

“There you go big guy. It wasn’t that bad, focus on your breathing okay.” Jared nodded embarrassed as Dr. Rodgers sat a bottle of water in front of him, “Do you need me to get you anything else?”

“No, he’s fine, thank you,” Jensen answers, getting up retaking his chair as Jared took a long drink from the bottle, “he’s usually more aware of these attacks but since the damn lock-downs.” Jensen shook his head in disgust, “We're heading back to Vancouver tomorrow to finish our sh..job before his new one starts late October. I guess it’s really hitting us both that it's finally ending.”

“Mr. Ackles, you can say show,” Jared and Jensen stare at him in surprise, “my daughters are fans, I know more about the Winchester brothers than a man my age should.” Dr. Rodgers ruminates, “Mr. Page, are you ready for me to continue?” Jared nodded as Jensen wrapped both of his hands around his free one.

“After I received the results I spoke with a specialist in Alpha genetics. They looked at all your tests and came back with a conclusion I’ve never heard of before.” The doctor laid a printout on the desk, “This is a visual aid to help me in explaining.”

“Chemoattactants are what a female's egg releases to attract the sperm to it. You know how it works from there; sperm meets egg, sperm penetrates egg and viola, fertilization. Alphas sperm has evolved allowing them to inseminate all three sub-genders, whereas male Omegas sperm is sterile since they possess both sets of reproductive organs but only need to utilize one.”

The doctor sets all three of Jared’s tests and the normal example on his desk for them to see, “This chromatin structure you carry Mr. Page,” he points to the highlighted section, “has altered so that the eggs of Alphas and Betas are chemorepellent to your sperm, rejecting fertilization.”

Jared sat still-shocked, blankly staring at the results lying before him, vaguely feeling Jensen reaching across their bond again. “Does this mean he’s...infertile?” He can hear Jensen hesitant inquiry, like he's standing across a vast chasm.

“In conventional terms, yes. This is the reason you were unable to conceive with your previous spouse, being a Beta, and there is still no medical intervention available that would have helped. What’s unique is his sp...”

Jared was numb. His dreams of a little Padackles tearing around their home had literally been salt and burned before his eyes with those test results.

In the recesses of his attention he’s aware of the continuing conversation around him, the longer it goes on, the more his brain is tuning out.

~~~

The first thing he becomes aware of are fingertips caressing his face, softly wiping away wetness damping his cheeks. Slowly blinking the blurry shape in front of him comes into focus.

Jensen is sitting in front of him. More accurately, he’s sitting cross legged in between his own splayed legs on the floor. Jared frowns as his senses are coming back online.

He was sitting on the chair that’s now off to his right so how did he end up with his back against the desk?

“You passed out,” Jensen answers his unspoken question, “and scared the ever-living shit out of me! I thought you were having an aneurysm the way your eyes rolled back into your big head!”

“I..I..don’t know what happened, I was looking at the results, you were asking questions..then nothing.”

“Stress Jared, you are completely stressed out and it's fucking with your illness!” He opens his mouth, “No, I’m not done so be quiet.” Jensen’s voice dropped with his Alpha tone overlaying it,

“Between that final script having you nuts all year, this quarantine fucking up your meds, dealing with your businesses shutdowns, getting Walker started, you had to add pushing for pups, it’s no wonder you couldn’t handle the doctor explanation of...”

“Explanation of what?” Jared lashes back in own Alpha voice, leaning forward into Jensen’s space, his eyes flashing red, “That I’m infertile, sterile, shooting blanks..”

“Shut that fucking mouth for two minutes or I swear I’ll deck you.” Jensen’s normally warm green eyes bleed into a fierce red, becoming hard.

Jared’s mouth snapped shut in surprise. They had gotten into plenty of arguments over the years, gotten in each other’s faces a few times but this was a first. Jensen had never, ever threatened physical harm.

Well, somewhat that time Misha set him off during a panel and he went for him afterwards. Misha stupidly goaded him again before Jensen gave him a shove, ordering him to cool off before he had to do something.

Jensen’s jaw ticked as he mentally counted to ten, “Dr. Rodgers said that you couldn’t impregnate another Alpha or Beta right?”

“Right.”

“The part you zoned out is that your sperm wants to only fertilize an Omega’s eggs.”

Sighing heavily, Jensen crawls over a leg to sit against the desk next to him. Jared pulls his legs up and wraps his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees processing this information as Jensen reaches over and gently rubs his hand in random patterns over his back.

They had mutually agreed on a Beta donor. Now this threw a wrench in the plans.

“Maybe this is a sign we’re rushing into this again. Let’s take a step back and consider all our options.” Jared’s muscles stiffened under his hand.

“I’m not considering anything else and I’m not stopping.”

“Wait...what?”

Jared lifted his head, “I’m not considering anything else and I’m not stopping. I realize this isn’t what you want so don’t worry, I’m not gonna hold you to our agreement.”

Jensen exhaled sharply knowing when Jared spoke in that tone, that was it, end of discussion, mind made up.

Jared gets up, “I’m going to find Dr. Rodgers and see if he's still willing to help me. If you want to leave, go. I’ll get an Uber when I’m done.” He walks out quietly shutting the door behind him.

“Fuck!” Jensen closed his eyes thumping his head back against the desk. He knew he had screwed up and there was only one way to make it right.

***

Jensen asked Jared to let him stay, he was wrong for saying that and he'd be open to one of the Omegas as a possible donor too. Jared wasn’t completely appeased but he was happy Jensen didn’t take the out given him.

The three candidates were smart, attractive, lovely scented Omegas in their twenties that any Alpha looking for a prospective mate would seriously consider, leaving Jensen wanting something else.

“I like aspects of all three Jay, but honestly, I'm not feeling it with any of them.”

“Maybe you’ve reached the stage you’re looking for more substance, less aesthetic.”

“Did you just call me old?” Jensen gaped at his husband.

Before Jared responds, Dr. Rodgers enters, “I see from your expression Mr. Bonham that you haven’t decided on a candidate.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like any of them, there isn’t a..”

“Connection. It’s normal, just because your Alpha doesn’t mean you..desire every Omega you cross paths with. With some it takes time to find the right one.” He looks at his watch.

“We’re at the end of our appointment but I have one more donor I’d like you to meet today. She’s doesn’t exactly fit your personal physical preferences but this omega is...special..and she’s willing to be the surrogate too.”

The doctor opens the door gestures to someone. They stand up to greet her and as she enters they are enveloped by her piquant scent.

“Mr. Page and Mr. Bonham, this is Quinn.”

***

tbc

Part III

GFA: @babypink224221 @waywardjoy @let-me-luve-you @all-4-wincest

SPN: @donnatix @lyarr24

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva

#j2 #alpha!jensen ackles x alpha!jared padalecki #j2 fanfic #alpha!jensen ackles #jensen ackles #alpha!jared padalecki #jared padalecki #alpha!jensen x alpha!jared x omega!ofc #j2 au #j2 husbands #surrogate #supernatural

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