Tumgik
#also super helpful that my brain's natural response to this state of being is 'well maybe you can't do anything right and should die :)'
allaganexarch · 3 months
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godddddd wasting time and energy on things that don't fucking matter has got to be THE worst feeling
#personal#i felt super embarrassed in my korean lesson today#because I didn't have a lot of time the last couple of weeks and I was trying to resolve the situation w the other tutor#when i should have just cut my losses and bailed#and look i know i'm learning there's literally no reason to be embarrassed etc but i am insane so that's not an option LOL#i should have somehow already known the contents of the lesson and therefore not needed the lesson hope this helps#but actually it was like i spent what little time i had preparing for the other lesson that was stupid and pointless rather than this one#and that just made me feel :( you know#in fairness to me my mental health was circling the drain literally until 2 days ago#so the last couple of days have just been like *sweeps up the carnage of various mental breakdowns and other insane behavior* LOL#but idk just generally feeling frustrated with myself even tho that's not super helpful#also frustrated that stupid bullshit has been taking up way too much of my time and energy lately#and it seems like the more i try to get the stupid bs out of the way the more it just dominates my life somehow#also super helpful that my brain's natural response to this state of being is 'well maybe you can't do anything right and should die :)'#like okay ty for your input LOL#despite how this sounds actually my korean lesson was REALLY good LOL#it was so good I just like got upset about wasting time on other bs you know??#anyway ty for coming to my nightly overshare i actually feel better now#love to shout into the void#exciting korean learning tag
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tossawary · 5 months
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So, I started thinking about a Kuina Lives + Strawhat Kuina AU specifically because of a paragraph on the wiki page. I was looking up info on Shimotsuki Village while I was taking down notes for a potential Pre-Canon ZoLu fic inspired by the live-action show.
Allegedly, the infamous 4kids dub CHANGED things so that Kuina didn't die, she was PERMANENTLY DISABLED to the point of being unable to pursue her dream. And my brain went: "?!" I see no reason why (aside from a few very extreme cases of disability) a disabled Kuina could not become a Strawhat pirate and go on adventures anyway! (Franky is a CYBORG who looks increasingly like a MECHA and Chopper's pills are BONKERS.)
Relevant quote: "Per standard policies, the 4Kids-dubbed anime censored her death, stating that she had been permanently injured by the friends of a man she'd defeated (and removing all scenes depicting her funeral or grave)." Which is driving my brain UP THE WALL with possibility when Kuina and Tashigi also supposedly both have names referencing flightless birds. The THEMES. The SYMBOLISM.
Personally, I still prefer Kuina becoming injured in an innocuous fall rather than having people directly responsible for her physical disability. The degree of her injury depends on what story that a person is individually writing. I see two potential ways forward (of many) that both interest me.
OPTION A: Kuina is physically disabled to the point of being unable to fight well generally, especially with swords. She uses a wheelchair and crutches to get around, and has some other lingering issues. So, like, she can definitely still whack people with a sword and shoot a gun, but Zoro is wielding Wado Ichimonji because Kuina feels she cannot do it justice. (But she's still supervising!!! She's Zoro's coach.)
Kuina's grandfather was a swordsmith, so in this case, she would end up in a smith, weapons expert, and quartermaster role for the Strawhats. She, Usopp, and Franky can be the Crafting Team! Ship maintenance crew! Kuina takes Merry's sinking nearly as badly as Usopp does.
OPTION B: Kuina has "mostly" recovered from her injury, which set her back for several years, but is still struggling. A dedicated female fighter on the Strawhat crew is VERY tempting as an idea. Monster quartet, yes? Yes! She's wielding Wado Ichimonji and Zoro is still searching for his own dedicated swords.
She could still be a swordsmith and quartermaster in this case! In either case, A or B, I think it might be cool to give Kuina a hook? (Kuina @ Crocodile: "Compensating for something, huh?") She could get other prosthetics or just super cool assistive devices as the story goes on with Chopper and Franky's help.
KUINA'S POTENTIAL ARCS: I do really like the idea of Kuina (if she can still fight with a sword) and Zoro moving forward together, neck and neck, for the title of World's Greatest Swordsman. I think it would be cool to come to a resolution that the title is more or less something that they can share? Like, only one of them can beat Mihawk in a "fair" duel, so that's an issue in the competition between them, but I do like the idea of the two of them going back and forth beating each other in duels, at the top of the world together.
Arguably, when Zoro sacrifices himself at the end of the Thriller Bark Arc, he has come to the resolution that he'll give up his dream for Luffy and the crew, where he gives up the last remnants of being self-centred and throws himself completely behind Luffy's philosophy of friendship and enjoying the journey. He still wants to be the World's Greatest Swordsman, but his crew comes first. I don't recall after this point any reckless moments of a similar nature to him stabbing himself in Orange Town when fighting Buggy's crew to prove a point. Zoro's recklessness culminates in sacrificing himself with purpose.
It does feel a little weak, but... Kuina could decide that she's comfortable in her own skills and doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. She KNOWS she's as good as Zoro is. She can declare herself the World's Greatest Swordswoman and let Zoro fight Mihawk. (They did probably flip a coin over it or something.) Maybe she never really wanted to be the World's Greatest, maybe she just wanted to live her life the way that she chose, and felt like becoming the World's Greatest was the only way of permanently shutting up every sexist jerk who has ever talked down to her. (They will never shut up. Sexist jerks will always find something to nitpick.)
ALTERNATIVELY: Kuina could have a heartbreaking and healing story about having to give up your dream because it's not physically possible anymore. Even if this is a story where she's still fighting as a swordswoman with Wado Ichimonji and is monstrously dangerous, maybe her physical disability prevents her from now fighting on Zoro's level, which really fucking sucks for her when she feels like she has so much to prove as a woman.
Shounen manga has always had an issue where the solution to some fights is that the protagonist just needs to "fight harder, yell louder, and believe in himself more", even when the protagonist is bleeding from everywhere. "One Piece" is fun because there are plenty of fights and problems where the protagonists succeed due to being genuinely clever, but there are other fights where it's all about a manifestation of willpower (sometimes literally). And this often works thematically.
I think Kuina would be interesting as a character for how she could contrast against Zoro, so I'm leaning towards giving her a very different story rather than making her Zoro 2.0 (Female).
For example, where Zoro is reckless, I think Kuina might be cautious, especially if she's been badly injured before and is still struggling. In flashbacks, she's open about her problems and anger to Zoro because he's her friend and also a safe target - he's an outsider / outlier in the dojo and she can beat him in a fight. In a martial school that probably demands some level of respectful behavior, Kuina might not display the same bravado and unhappiness to her father, who is also her teacher and responsible for the sexism that she's internalized.
If she's a swordswoman still, I don't know that she would challenge Mihawk at the Baratie. For one thing, it's STUPID. Zoro had to KNOW that he was nowhere near Mihawk's level and he's lucky that Mihawk had some level of honor and curiosity to spare him. If Mihawk had been a little more of an asshole, that would have been the end of Zoro's dream. He was really stupid there (affectionate, that's my boy). The smart thing to do is keep your mouth shut and live to challenge Mihawk another day, but I think Kuina would also hate herself for this kind of "cowardice".
Her personal struggle as a character might be with reserve and fear of risk, whether this culminates in her ultimately overcoming all obstacles and succeeding in her dream with the help of her friends, or in her giving up her dream due to a physical disability (or multiple physical disabilities) that is no fault of her own in favor of a new dream. You could try your best to combine all of these different elements into Kuina's arcs and abilities. There's a lot of possibility.
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comfortbucky · 3 years
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hey hey! can u do some fluffy bucky about having to share a hotel room w u and there’s only one bed!!!! and he’s trying to be respectful n stuff but man does he have the fattest crush on u! thank u <333
HEY HEY YES OMFGGG THE ONE BED TROPE (ur mind😌🤝)
i’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO COME SO SOON
𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗱, 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗼𝘁𝘀 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ 。˚
pairing: bucky x fem!avenger!reader
tags: enemies(?) to lovers BABYYYY, angst, fluff
A/N: i almost always write about tfatws!bucky in mind but let me try and branch out by writing about avenger!bucky hehe
i hope u enjoy🥺💗i absolutely loved this prompt and loved writing this!!!! (it is almost 4am for me as i am posting this :) i’m insane :))
this oneshot will not be following the canon timeline!
word count: 2k
my masterlist!
completed requests!
“Stick to the plan, Y/N.” Steve’s voice came through over the intercom. She rolled her eyes at his warning. He always seemed to be extra cautious with her, making her feel like an unimportant member of the team, and this mission was no different.
“I got this,” she said, completely ignoring his request and charging headfirst at the enemy. Her brash decision resulted in her receiving a heavy beat down, ending up with a split lip and fractured ribs.
Needless to say, Steve was pissed. He and Y/N developed a close friendship over the years, during his search for Bucky. She was oftentimes the one who would stay up all night with him, looking for any trace of Bucky’s existence online. She’d become one of the closest people in his life, which is exactly why he was upset with her, endangering her own life.
After the mission, he confronted her at the base camp.
“You could’ve gotten killed!”
“But I didn’t,” she snapped back. “And the mission was a success anyways, so I don’t get why you’re so mad right now.”
Steve closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.
“It’s reckless behavior like this that’s eventually going to get you killed, Y/N.”
Bucky walked into the room and immediately regretted his decision as soon as he laid his eyes on Y/N. He’d come to foster an animosity towards her, after seeing her close friendship with Steve. After Bucky joined the Avengers, he noticed how much time they spent together, and jealousy started to fester within him. Steve was the only person he felt comfortable being around in the tower and she constantly took him away from Bucky. Everyone else seemed to have an aversion to him, or so he assumed. He never gave anyone the chance to get to know him, locking himself up in his room most hours of the day. Bucky didn’t think anyone would want to get to know an ex-assassin, especially one that killed the Tony Stark’s parents. She was the one thing that kept Steve away from him and he despised it. So Bucky did what he did best and avoided any sort of interaction with her.
Steve looked at Bucky and suddenly, an idea popped in his head. He had noticed how closed-off Bucky had been since joining the Avengers and refused to let Y/N be alone, worried that she might make another brazen decision. He hatched a plan to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
“Bucky,” Steve said, making his way over to him. “You and Y/N will be assigned to the same room tonight.”
Bucky choked on his own spit in response and Y/N began to protest.
“You’re not serious, right?” Steve turned to face her with a stern expression.
“You’re not giving me any reason to trust you to be alone.” She let out a defeated sigh and crossed her arms across her chest.
“Why me?” Bucky asked, trying to figure out how he ended up in this situation.
Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and looked into his eyes. “Because I trust you, Buck. I need you to do this for me.”
Bucky could see the desperation in Steve’s eyes and reluctantly nodded.
Steve was able to obtain another key card to the hotel room that Y/N was assigned to for the mission. He forgot to take into account the logistics of the sleeping arrangements, leaving Bucky to find a single bed as he entered Y/N’s room.
Bucky froze, his right hand on the door handle, keeping it open, his left hand by his side, holding his duffel bag. He racked his brain, trying to figure out what to do, when Y/N’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.
“Relax,” she started, motioning for him to come inside. “I’ll sleep on the floor, alright?”
Y/N knew that Bucky didn’t like her, despite Steve trying to convince her otherwise. It hurt her feelings a bit, especially after she’d learned so much about him through both Steve’s stories and the time she spent tracking him down. He was such an important person to Steve, her close friend, and Bucky hated her. At first, she figured he was shy and wasn’t ready to open up to anyone else, especially after all the trauma he endured. But she realized he actively disliked her over time, with Bucky always leaving the room when she entered or ignoring her offers to hang out with her and Steve. Eventually, she gave up on reaching out to Bucky, as she only seemed to upset him further, no matter what she did. She figured it was for the best.
Bucky stepped into the room and shook his head.
“Bed’s too soft for me anyways, I’ll take the floor,” he grumbled.
Y/N shrugged in response, knowing that Bucky would be too stubborn to try and argue against. She turned around and picked up the phone, calling the front desk to ask for extra blankets and pillows. When she hung up the phone, she turned back to Bucky to see him nod in thanks.
The rest of the night was silent, as they both prepared for bed, taking turns going into the bathroom to wash up and change. While Y/N was in the bathroom, Bucky arranged the extra blankets and pillows into a makeshift bed on the ground, something that he’d done countless times before. Y/N exited the bathroom in an oversized t-shirt that covered her shorts, and placed her toiletries bag in one of the hotel dresser drawers.
“Bathroom’s all yours.” Bucky grunted in response, grabbing some clothes and a bag headed for the bathroom.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” he stated, just before shutting the door behind him. Y/N scoffed at his comment, gently climbing into bed, in an attempt to not further injure her ribs. She winced as she tried to get into a comfortable position before settling to sleep on the side of her unaffected ribs.
Bucky emerged from the bathroom to see Y/N lying on her left side, her back towards him. He assumed that she had already fallen asleep and quietly crawled into his makeshift bed.
Approximately 10 minutes had passed, when he heard her sniffling. At first, he thought the noise was coming from outside the window, but he traced it back to her. He remained lying on his back for a moment, deciding whether or not to say something. Bucky sighed before speaking.
“You okay?” Y/N immediately stiffened upon hearing Bucky’s voice. She was hoping that he wouldn’t hear her crying, despite his super soldier hearing abilities.
“Yeah, ‘m fine,” she replied back, her voice wavering as she spoke. Y/N hated how weak and pathetic she sounded in that moment. Her fractured ribs made it hard for her to breathe and the adrenaline, that was previously shielding her from the pain, had faded, leaving her to lie there in agony. On top of that, she also felt that this mission solidified her belief that Steve had little faith in her ability to be an Avenger. The last thing she wanted to do right now, was to confess her insecurities to Bucky.
Bucky’s attitude softened, hearing Y/N’s voice crack when she spoke. He knew she’d gotten hurt due to her own, dumb, decision during the mission. Bucky quietly pulled his blankets off and stood up, leaving the room without saying another word. As soon as the door shut, Y/N burst into tears. Bucky did exactly as he’d done in the past many times before, leave. She wasn’t sure why this time upset her more than the rest. Probably because she knew that he was aware of her crying and he’d still chosen to abandon her completely.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, causing her to stop crying. Y/N listened to Bucky’s footsteps growing closer, and felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat on the edge she was facing towards. She peered over the blanket she was covering her face with, to see Bucky facing her, holding a bag of ice, wrapped in a towel. Bucky’s heart sank at the sight of her glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks in the moonlight.
“For your ribs,” he spoke softly, gesturing to the ice bag in his hands.
“Oh. Thank you.”
Y/N took the bag from him, attempting to slowly sit up. She closed her eyes as she grimaced, and suddenly felt a hand on her back, helping her up. Her eyes opened to reveal Bucky, with a soft smile on his lips. She silently thanked him again, placing the ice bag on the right side of her ribcage.
“Thought you hated me,” she mumbled, keeping her gaze down on her lap. He furrowed his brows, keeping his eyes on her.
“I don’t hate you.”
“Well, you definitely don’t like me.”
Bucky paused at her comment, thinking about his next words, before responding.
“I don’t like that you take up all of Steve’s free time,” he grumbled, causing Y/N to quickly look up at Bucky, his eyes averting her gaze. Her face fell, immediately realizing why Bucky had treated her so coldly all this time. He just missed his friend.
“I’m so sorry, Bucky.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her in response. “I didn’t realize, I’m sorry.”
Bucky didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting her to be so kind and understanding, even coming up with multiple points to argue back at her. He realized then that he didn’t know her at all, but that he wanted to now. In an instant, she became an entirely different person. He studied her eyes and wondered if they had always sparkled like that, if her cheeks were naturally rosy, or if her lips had always been so pink and plump.
His expression softened and he cleared his throat. “It’s fine,” he muttered, tearing himself away from her gaze to look down at his lap. After a moment of silence, Bucky stood up to return back to the floor.
“Stay.” The words left Y/N’s mouth before she had time to process them. Bucky froze and turned to face her. “I mean, if you want to, of course. Just figured the floor must be super uncomfortable for you.” Y/N felt a blush creep up onto her cheeks and kicked herself mentally. She looked down at her hands, regretting the words she spoke, before feeling the bed dip again. She looked up to see Bucky. He smiled and she almost melted at the sight.
She shifted over, putting the ice bag on the nightstand, as Bucky crawled into bed next to her. The two rested on their backs, both staring at the ceiling in silence. Bucky remained at a respectful distance away, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. Y/N turned on her left side, her good side, to face him.
“I’m glad you don’t hate me.”
Bucky turned on his side to face her before responding.
“I don’t think I could ever hate you.”
A strand of her hair had fallen in front of her face and Bucky, instinctively, reached out a hand to tuck it behind her ear. Immediately, he regretted it, about to pull his hand back when Y/N took her hand and placed it on top of his, guiding it to rest on her cheek. He cupped her face in his hand and she leaned into his embrace. Bucky felt his heart rate increase as she moved her body closer to his, wrapping the arm she used to hold his hand on her face, across his side. He shifted towards her as well, wrapping his arm around her body, bringing her closer to him.
“Is this okay?” He whispered, nervous that he might have somehow misinterpreted the situation. He hadn’t been with a woman in such an intimate way in years and had no idea what he was doing. Y/N looked up at him and nodded, before snuggling her face into his chest and Bucky felt a wave of calm wash over him.
“Can you stay here tonight?” Y/N mumbled, her face pressed into his chest. He chuckled at the vibrations from her voice and kissed her temple, smoothing her hair back.
“I’ll stay as long as you want me to, honey.”
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heyheyloki · 3 years
Text
U&I
Summary: The reader begins to realize his feelings for Saiki.
Saiki x M!Reader
Word Count: 8711
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1. The Best Friends
Being friends with a psychic definitely had its ups and downs. At first, you didn’t notice a thing out of the ordinary with Saiki, well, granted you were kids when the both of you met so naturally you just wanted to be friends and thought nothing more. However, he noticed something odd with you the moment you two met.
He couldn’t read your mind.
Actually forget being about to read your mind, none of his psychic abilities worked on you. He couldn’t see through you and when he touched you without his super thin transparent gloves on nothing happened. You were basically immune to him.
At first, he thought something was wrong with you, or that maybe you had some psychic powers as well. That wasn’t the case at all. In reality, you were a normal human without any powers or tricks. That stumped Saiki even more, but it also became the soul reason he wanted to be your friend as well.
For one, he didn’t have to deal with your thoughts. Two, his image of you wasn’t ruined because he can’t see under your skin. Three, your calmer personality made him relax. And of course all those other things like your kindness and stuff, but those were irrelevant the moment he knew he couldn’t read your mind.
It’s been years since he met you in the park during recess, and now here you guys were, 16 years later and still friends. Oh, there was one thing that bothered him about you.
“What to hang out today?” You asked as you slung your bag over your shoulder.
“Sure.” Saiki said. Yep. That’s right, since he can’t get in your mind, he actually has to move his mouth when he talks to you.
It was a bit weird to others that he never did it with anyone else other than you, but he didn’t care.
On the way home he couldn’t help but notice you eyeing his antennas, the things that keep his powers stable. He turned his head towards you and gave you a curiosity look.
“Do those things poke at your head at all?” You asked, moving you hand up to poke at the top of the pink ball. “Like, does it make your head ichy?”
Saiki shook his head. He knew he had to talk to you at some points, but times like these he didn’t. He enjoyed that about you too, that you don’t force him to talk all the time. You knew it was a bit weird for him to talk, he explained it to you when he told you all about his powers.
“Hm,” you hummed out. Your hands going back at your side and into your pant pockets. “It would for me, if I was you. They just look painful, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do if you don’t wanna blow up the world.”
Saiki nodded his head, his eyes continuing to linger on you. It was one days like these when he saw you thinking so hard about something that he wished he could just take a peak. At some points, he loved the silence, especially when the both of you were watching movies, but right now, especially in this moment, he’d give anything to know. It was mostly prominent when he’d stare at you during class and you’d have this far out look in your orbs, you drew him in, and perhaps that’s why he fell for you.
Though, there were other factors that won his favor. Mostly the fact that, unlike everyone else, he can’t stare right through you and just see your raw muscles and pumping organs. Instead, he was able to focus on your handsome face and not get side tracked about your racing thoughts. You were the only person in the world that make him feel somewhat normal. That was a love-hate relationship at times.
“Think I could sleep over tonight?” You suddenly asked, “we don’t have school tomorrow.”
Saiki stared at you for a moment just to relish in that fact that nothing worked on you. No telekinesis, mind control, no nothing. He was going to have to win your favor just like everyone else. To him, it wasn’t normal, but looking at you, he didn’t seem to mind the extra work.
“Sure,” Saiki said. He still had trouble talking aloud, hell, sometimes he will actually use telekinesis and wait for your response only to have pure silence. “My parents are leaving for a wedding, so the house should be free for a while.”
When the two of you got to Saiki’s house, it was a bit peaceful until his parents had to head out. You liked his mom and dad a lot, they were like your second family, so you wanted to wish them a good time. It was for one Saiki’s dad’s coworkers.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” Saiki’s dad asked his son. “You’ve met Kirishima before, and you can bring [Name] as your plus one date.”
You knew Saiki wasn’t going to be interested in a wedding. He always told you normal happy events for others is misery for him since he can hear the jealousy and pity that the crowd is thinking. You felt sorry that he couldn’t turn it off, but you were glad that you were the only person he could catch a break with. However, when you looking over at Saiki, he seemed to entertain the thought.
It was a new side to Saiki, one that made you confused. It was always either you or no one. You could tell the way he wanted to get away from many of the people in his class that seemed to have declared themselves his friends from a small interaction. Sure, you felt their interest, but it was just a bit sad to you that Saiki could never actually enjoy friends unless they were pure. Otherwise, he could hear all the backstabbing thoughts or otherwise stupid comments that go around in their brain that was thought to be private to them.
“I’m going to have to pass,” you commented. “I don’t have a suit, besides, you two should enjoy the night. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you both go out alone.”
Saiki’s mom smiled widely at you. Her eyes clouding over with a wet film before wrapping her arms around you for a tight hug. “Ah, thank you, [Name]! What would we do without you?”
You chuckled softy at the comment before saying, “Who knows, I rather not think about that.”
When she finally let you go, you and Saiki waved the both of them off as they left. Honestly, you weren’t sure if they’d even make it back at a reasonable time. It was a wedding, after all. Oh well, as long as they make it back drunk and safe rather than drunk and not safe, you didn’t mind. You were sleeping over anyway, so right now, you just wanted to hang out with your childhood best friend.
“What do you wanna do?” You asked with a calming tone.
Saiki turned his head to you. “TV?”
“Sure,” you smiled. However, as soon as you turned to the living room, you noticed the absolute mess his parents left behind. So, out of the goodness of your heart, you said, “How about you find something and all clean up this in the meantime. Sound good?”
Saiki nodded once more. He truly thought your actions were kind, but he rather have you watching TV with him than picking up his dad’s dirty clothes. He knew his father tended to be sloppy, but this was just a mess.
As you were about to pick up a pair of jeans, all the clothes that were strewn about the floor suddenly started to float in the air and shoot into the open washing machine. The trash floated itself into the garage while everything else was moved around to make it look clean until otherwise.
You pressed your lips together as your brows furrowed in annoyance. Once you turned to Saiki and saw his innocence face, you knew you couldn’t be angry but you had to ask, “Do you really want me to watch TV with you that bad?”
“Yes,” Saiki stated.
You sighed, your lips parting as you left the oxygen leave your lungs. “Fine, but let’s both clean up a bit before than. It’ll be a nice surprise and a way to thank your parents for letting me stay the night.”
Saiki nodded. “Okay.”
It took a bit of convincing on your end to let him let you help out. You may not have powers, but you didn’t want to take advantage of his. You knew it was effortless and he made it seem like it didn’t affect him whatsoever, but you knew every time he does something it takes a toll. His powers aren’t perfect.
You both ended up cleaning the living room, Saiki’s room, and now you were in the kitchen sorting the trash. Saiki was using his powers to sort while you whipped down the countertops.
“Good grief,” Saiki said aloud, his voice drawing your eyes to him. He was crouched down with two bags in front of him and the garage floating upside down, it’s contents was either going in the first or second bag.
“What?” You asked curiosity. It wasn’t all the time that he speaks from his mouth without you talking first.
“How could anyone have let it get this dirty in here?” He asked aloud. “I mean, really it’s a wonder we don’t have bugs.”
You were going to respond. That was until he suddenly shut his mouth, a chest deep grunt leaving him as you notice him stare at something on the furniture next to him.
It was a cockroach.
Mind you, the moment you realized what it was you weren’t the least bit surprised when he suddenly teleported. Saiki hates bugs. He could read the minds of humans, as well as animals, but he couldn’t with bugs. He thought they were small minded icky things. Hell, he couldn’t even let his powers touch the thing.
You counted down the seconds before he came back. It was around ten, maybe fifteen. He also teleported right behind you.
“Welcome back,” you greeted and watched as his eyes dart towards the floor.
“Sorry, I may have overreacted.” He muttered. “I just hate them.”
“I know,” you hummed out before looking around and grabbing a cup and piece of paper. Saiki watched you as you let the roach crawl on the piece of paper before placing the cup over it so it didn’t run away. You were quick to put it outside and close the window after so Saiki didn’t worry about it coming back in.
“All gone,” you cheered with a smile. “Now, let’s watch TV, ya?”
2. Saiki’s Pushy Friends
PK Academy was a school were many different personalities and people collided. It was always fun to meet new people in this school, yet on the other side of the coin, sometimes they were more than a little odd. Not like you can speak, your best friend was a psychic. Though, he wasn’t delusional like this one guy in your class that declared himself Saiki’s friend. His name was Kaido. He thinks he has powers and has an evil organization following him around.
Then, you have Nendou. Basically, he’s stupid. Not that you minded, but sometimes being stupid isn’t the best thing in the world, especially now.
It was the sports festival at PK and Saiki and you had to participate in it. You both were on the same team since all the teams were decided by class. This also gave you a good idea of the friends Saiki has made. It was safe to say that Kaido was growing on you. You felt a little bad for the guy, what can you say.
Let’s not forget about Hairo as well. You knew him a bit more from hearsay than the others, plus he was class rep. Though, you had to say, he was a little too overly enthusiastic.
It was kind of a surprise to see Teruhashi, the most popular girl in school, try and interact with Saiki. Though, it was a bit amusing since to him, she’s nothing more than walking muscle. However, you did think he would swoon over her like all the other guys in your school if she was like you. However, you knew Saiki had no interest in romance so you don’t care either way.
Finally, Nendou. You were originally going to say that you didn’t mind the guy that much and thought maybe he would be a good thing for Saiki. However, after just watching him take out one of the antennas from Saiki’s head, you started to wonder how much of a danger his stupidity is to Saiki.
You watched that pink haired friend of yours collapse to the ground with a hard thud as soon as Nendou pull the thing out of his head. You were quick to rush over to him and sit by his side. When you flipped him over, since he fell face forward, worry grew about your body and infected your bloodstream.
You heard protests about turning him over, but at this point all the worried voices drowned before they were even audible to you. His lips were parted as drool leaked from his mouth and went down his chin, his eyes dead and without life as darkness surrounded them. It didn’t take you long to recover and swipe the antenna Nendou was holding and pop it back in its rightful place in his pink locks.
You didn’t know how long it would take for him to wake up, or if he’d wake up at all. All you knew was to sit and wait for him to wake up. To your surprise, he woke up rather quickly. Maybe a mere minute or so after you fixed him up. When his eyes opened, you felt yourself suddenly get surrounded as Saiki’s friends crowed over him to ask how he was.
You noticed him using telepathy to talk to everyone when Hairo said, “You passed out after Nendou took that think out of your head, lucky for you, [Name] put it back right away!”
“Yeah, he saved your life!” Kaido spit out next, their hands placing on my shoulder out of respect and gratitude. 
Saiki’s eye then direct to you, his voice never leaving his lips for a moment before you noticed him flinch.
‘Ah,’ you thought. ‘He tried to use telepathy with me again.’
When he noticed, Saiki just nodded in your direction. You knew he was thanking you, he didn’t need to word it out to you. The look in his eyes was enough.
Lunch came immediately after Saiki ended up waking up, and it was understatement to say he didn’t want to be bother with anyone else besides you. He was quick to drag you to the roof of the school to eat.
The both of you sat against the railing, lunch in your laps. You wanted I just forget about the scare that Saiki gave you, but the after effects he was having wasn’t making that easy. He was having trouble, and it was easy to see when his hands were shaking so much that he couldn’t even pick up his food without it falling back in the box.
You side eyed him, his expression one of concentration as he tried to pick up his food again. Though, he dropped it again.
He sighed quickly after that, only looking down at his food as you saw his mind wonder off.
Once you finished chewing whatever food you had in your mouth, you placed your food to the side and moved so that you weren’t side to side, but rather across from Saiki’s body now. He didn’t register your movements until he saw a hand come into his view and pick up an item of food with his chopsticks.
When he turned to you, you had the chopsticks in your dominant hand and your other under the food so it didn’t drop to the filthy ground.
“C’mon, lemme help,” you said. It was easy for Saiki to pick up the worry in your tone, however he knew not to address it or else you’ll just either deny it or baby him. “Open up.”
He obeyed your command after a moment, opening his mouth wide enough for you to place his food in his mouth. The hand that was meant to catch the food if it fell made sure Saiki closed his mouth, his fingers placed a bit of pressure under his chin to shut his jaws before slowly trailing away. The food wasn’t nearly as satisfying as the chill that ran down his spine at your lingering touch that crawled on his skin.
“I could hurt you.” He suddenly spit out. It was pained. “Having my antenna taken out messed up my powers.”
You leaned your head to the side, your eyes never falling from his. “Yeah, I kinda figured.”
“You should go.” He stated.
“Why?”
“I just told you.”
You smiled. “Saiki, you could never hurt me.”
He looked at you like you had something stuck in your teeth. “You don’t know that, I may not be able to read your mind, but I don’t know how my other powers react to you.”
You remained quiet for a moment before shuffling your body side by side again, your head falling to rest of Saiki’s shoulder. You felt him flinch at the contact, his muscles even began to tighten just out of fear.
“Yanno,” you started out saying, your hand coming up to play the antenna that you could reach. “It’s odd to me how these things are the only thing keeping you stable.”
“Is it?”
You chuckled and nodded. “Small things like these verses your powers. The thing that gets me is that these things actually win in that fight. Though, I suppose it does complete the look you have.”
“And what look is that?” Saiki asked as he gazed down at you to see your eyes already on him. He could feel his fingers twitch as he watched you say shamelessly, “The cute, mysterious loner type.”
Saiki’s lips parted as he gazed at you. He quickly recomposed himself when he noticed you waiting patiently for him to respond. He sighed before asking, “Mysterious loner? Where’d you get that?”
You laughed before sarcastically questioning, “yep, I wonder where.”
3. Your friends are my friends
You don’t know how you got wrapped into this, but perhaps it’ll allow you to know Saiki’s friends better.
Currently, you were walking with Kaido, Nendou, and Saiki to a good ramen shop Nendou suggested. You were dragged along when Nendou remembered you from the Sports Festival and as Saiki’s friend. They never really got the chance to speak to you since you’re usually out the door as soon as the bell rings, but today they finally caught you.
At some point Teruhashi joined the group, though you feel like she kinda took over since now the boys, except for Saiki and you, were fawning over her. Saiki and you took it upon yourselves to give them all room to talk to her, so you both sorts trailed behind.
It was silent for a while, the only noise was Nendou or Kaido talking to Teruhashi. However, you caught the, “what does that even mean,” that Saiki mumbled under his breath.
“Hm?” You hummed. “What does what mean?”
It was obvious to you he didn’t realize he said that aloud. But he just seemed to be glad that only you heard that.
“Teruhashi wants me to go ‘oh wow’ or something to her.” Saiki revealed. “I don’t even know what that means.”
You kept your gaze on Saiki for a moment. “So, she likes you?”
“I guess,” he muttered. “I think it’s more that I’m the only guy that isn’t kissing her feet.”
You watched Teruhashi interact with Nendou and Kaido. You know that, normally, she wouldn’t take time to hang out with these guys. However, because of her crush on Saiki, she bares with them. In all honesty, she seems a bit perfect. Being able to deal with them just for the person she adores. It’s easy for anyone to do, and not a lot of people would even bother.
“She seems like a good fit for you.” You suddenly uttered out.
When Saiki heard that, he felt his hands twitch. He didn’t like that, not one bit. What irked him the most was that it seemed natural, like you actually meant it. And, of course, he had no way of knowing if those words were genuine or actually forced.
“No way,” Saiki stated coldly. “Never in a million years.”
“Damn, that’s cold, Saiki.” He heard you say, a teasing tone wedged in your voice.
“Why do you keep calling me Saiki, anyway? We aren’t acquaintances.”
“Hm?” You questioned. “I thought you don’t like me calling you by your first name in public?”
Saiki sighed. “Well now I’m telling you I don’t care.”
Saiki knew this way of showing that you were closer to him than anyone would ever be may have been childish on his part, but when he heard his first name come from your lips in front of his other ‘friends’, he felt more than satisfied. 
4. Friendship Can Bring Romance
Being able to rest during class was one of your guilty pleasures. Even if you got called out by your teacher, you didn’t mind. It was better when it was raining outside, the patter of rain when it hit the window made you want to nap.
“Hey,” a voice called out to you. You didn’t listen though, it wasn’t important.
“Hey, [Name],” it called out again. Okay, maybe you should wake up. Then again, sleep. You could always sleep later though.
You fluttered your eyes open as you felt your body being pushed around. When your sight became focused, the blurry figure in front of you showed a blue hair kid. You knew him, but from where?
“Saiki asked me to wake you up, sorry,” he confessed.
Oh, right. That’s Kaido, Saiki’s friend.
“Hm? Where is Kusuo?” You asked in a groggy voice, your hand coming up to wipe your eyes.
“Oh, he went home.” Kaido informed you. “Something just came up, I guess.”
“Alright,” you hummed before the end of your lips pulled upward. “Thank you, Kaido.”
It wasn’t easy for Kaido to wake up the quiet kid. Kaido only met the guy once or twice, and when he was hanging with him, you only stayed close to Saiki. It was kinda odd, but Kaido understood your attachment to the pink haired man. Saiki was Kaido’s first friend, after all, so he knew how awesome the guy was.
Though, he’s never got the chance to speak to you. He knows Saiki never really goes anywhere with you, and somehow you always end up by his side. He just always seemed to miss you when it came to getting the chance to introduce himself so Kaido was pretty glad when you came along the trip to that ramen place, even if it was a dumb and he got distracted by Teruhashi.
Kaido knew you were the closest person to Saiki. He’s pretty sure that not even Nendou is as close to Saiki as you are. And those two are best friends. Kaido didn’t know the extend of how long you two have been friends, but he does know from watching that Saiki has respect for you. So, it was critical that he makes a great impression with you so that he can become closer to Saiki and maybe you as well.
“S-Sure, no problem!” He stuttered, his bandaged hand retracting from your shoulder and holding them up in the air in a surrendered notion.
“Do you live around here at all? I’ll walk you home as a thank you.” You said as you stood from your seat and began to search for your bag.
“What? You don’t have to do that, really, it isn’t necessary!” Kaido spit out quickly, his words jumping all over the place.
“It’s really no trouble at all,” you stated as you put your bag over your shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get going before the rain gets worse.”
The rain eventually stopped when both teens got closer to your house. Kaido’s was further ahead, so he thought it would be better if he just walked you home instead so you didn’t have to walk more than you have to already.
“So, you’ve been friends with Saiki since he was little, huh?” Kaido asked as you explained why Saiki trusts you so much. “That’s pretty awesome! What was he like back then?”
“Pretty much the same.” You answered. “Though he did get more handsome throughout the years, and he used to be kinda sweet. Now, not so much.”
“I see, so you guys have been through it all together.” Kaido replied.
“Basically, though, he did start to worry me a bit since I was his only friend for a really long time,” you confessed. You paused as you looked up at Kaido and gave him a smile, “But I’m glad he finally made a friend like you.”
Kaido could feel his heart beat a million miles an hour just at the words you strung together. He never heard kinder words than those, and he was even more thrilled that he succeeded in making a good impression on Saiki’s childhood friend!
“It’s, uh, n-no problem, really!” Kaido muttered out as his whole face began to fluster, his hands going everywhere.
“Oh,” you hummed out.
“Hm?” Kaido questioned. His nerves going down. “What is it?”
“Did you know you were dragging your scarf the whole time?” You asked curiosity as your hands started to real in the extra fabric.
“What?” He asked out of pure shock. Though, realizing that he doesn’t make a fool out of himself he said, “O-Of course I did! It’s a fashion choice.”
“Not the best one,” you stated as you stepped closer to the blue haired male.
Kaido’s eyes widened as he stated directly into your colored orbs, watching them dance solely for him. It was like getting attention from a loved one, but this attention make him nervous to the point where he thought his face was going to explode with red. Kaido’s lips slowly started to disappear as the scarf started to build up around his shoulders and neck.
“There you go,” you said, “much better. Now your scarf doesn’t get more dirty and you look even better.”
‘Even better? What’s that supposed to mean? Does it.. does it mean he thought I looked good before?!’ Kaido thought.
Kaido let out an awkward laugh as he played with the end of the scarf. “O-Oh, haha, thank you.”
“Sure,” you hummed. “Now let’s get going.”
5. Blessing Turned On Jealousy
What’s that saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? Yeah, that’s it. See, that could apply to this yet at the same time it would go a little different.
More like, the enemy of my best friend is my friend. At least for your situation. You see, walking home with Saiki has now turned into walking home with Saiki, Nendou, and Kaido. Not that you mind, but sometimes you really do wish it was back to when Saiki and you got to spend time alone together. However, being friends with Saiki and then having his friends automatically become your friends may have some perks.
Like now. Bumping into Kaido’s mom was totally accidental. But, in the end it payed off. Why?
Because coffee jelly.
“I know it’s not easy being friends with my son because he’s so shy, but please be patient.” Kaido’s mom announced as she placed the coffee jelly down in front of Saiki and you.
“Please don’t say that mama—I mean—mother.” Kaido pleased, his voice cracking as it got higher with embarrassment.
Overall, the beginning was a very nice. Hell, it was damn near perfect. Although, you just had to snoop around. Well, it was more like exploring Kaido’s room.
Your fingertips brushed along the spines of the many books Kaido had stacked up in his bookcase. It was seriously amazing how many books he had, he even had some original copies of some famous old books.
“This is pretty awesome,” you muttered to yourself before your eyes spotted something that didn’t quite match with the others. In all honesty, you were simply curious. However, curiosity did kill the cat. In your case, more like awakened the Saiki K.
“Hey, Kaido, what is the Jet Black Wings?” You asked aloud as the group sat down eating whatever snacks were about. You would always hear either chewing or at least some conversation, but after that question left your mouth it was dead silent. You felt like you killed something, but when you looked over you noticed Kaido’s face beat red. Seriously, his entire face was as red as a blood moon.
“P-Put that back!” He stuttered out, the blue haired boy suddenly running up to you to snatch the book from your hand.
As he reached for it, you held it higher. Even if he was about the same height or maybe a inch or so taller, you just needed to make him miss his hand from grabbing it.
“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m just curious.” You calmly said. “Is it bad or something?”
“N-No! It’s nothing, uh, bad! Just give me it back!” Kaido begged this time around, his hands trying desperately to grab it from you. Okay, maybe you were being a little mean at this point, but it was kinda fun to tease him.
You began to back up as Kaido trying to nab the book in your hand. “Just explain it!”
“No! Never!” He shouted.
You couldn’t help but laugh a little, though, that was your fatal mistake. Having yourself distracted by your own humor, your mind didn’t take into account the pile of prep books scattered about until it was too late. You quickly lost your voice, as well as your balance before slamming your head hard against the wood floors.
“Woah! You guys okay?” Nendou asked out of genuine concern.
As much as you would have liked to answer him, you were too concerned with the pain pounding into your skull like a jackhammer. Seriously, this is gonna give you one massive headache.
You scrunched your nose as your finally gave effort to open your eyes, though, they permanently remained open when you noticed a face staring down at you, a body on top of yours. You guessed that during the fall Kaido tried to save you, but only got dragged along instead.
“H-Hey, um, are you okay?” He asked under his shaky breath.
You only nodded before trying to avoid his gaze in any possible way. The position you were in didn’t help whatsoever in that department. Instead, you hoped that Kaido would take the hint and get off. That plan wasn’t looking too good cause all that was running through his mind was how you looked under him. Let’s say, the thoughts he had left a distaste in Saiki’s mouth.
Originally, he was just gonna let you handle it, but after hearing Kaido’s perverted thoughts about you, that plan blew up.
Saiki stood up, leaving his coffee jelly half eaten before grabbing Kaido by the back of his shirt and yanking him off of you. Saiki gave some strength into that but not enough to launch him into the bookshelf like he wanted too. He knelt down to come to your level and help you up, your massive headache being noticeable when you held onto the back of your head.
“Damnit, that really hurt,” you muttered to yourself but Saiki heard it clear as day.
It wasn’t long after that he took you home as well as the left over coffee jelly. Saiki advised you to stay home a day just to let the pain die down a bit before going back to school, so, the pink haired boy was all alone today. And all alone to everyone else meant to bother him more than usual.
Teruhashi, Nendou, Hairo. All of them. Though, it was a bit weird that Kaido wasn’t bothering with him today. Not that he was complaining, but he couldn’t pinpoint the answer until he heard Kaido’s thoughts, ‘I need to ask Saiki for permission. They’re best friends, it would be rude if I didn’t ask permission to ask out [Name].’
Never mind. He didn’t need to know that.
It was around lunch time that Kaido walked up to Saiki for the first one, the blush that littered his cheeks made Saiki want to gag for a moment.
“So, uh, Saiki, I have to ask you something.” Kaido uttered out lowly. Clearly, this was nerve wracking for him.
“What is it?” Saiki asked telepathically.
“Well, it’s about [Name], yanno, our [Name]?”
‘What other person has that name?’ Saiki thought. ‘And don’t say our, it’s creepy.’
“You see, I, well, I think I like him and I’d like your blessing to ask him out!” Kaido shouted, his body bowing at an almost 90 degree angle.
Normally, Saiki would just say to do whatever since he could read [Name]’s thoughts and see that he doesn’t like Kaido in that way. However, the one person in the world that Saiki actually wants is immune to his powers. He knew he needed to shut this down fast.
‘No way.’ Saiki responded.
“Thank you so much, Saiki, you won’t—wait—why not?” Kaido asked aloud, his voice getting higher the more he freaked out. He thought this would be easy, he means, it was Saiki. The most chill guy ever actually gave him a hard ‘no’ to asking out his best friend. Kaido shouldn’t be surprised, even though he is.
‘Because I said so,’ Saiki strictly put. He knew it was wrong to say this, who was he to say no to something that isn’t his business. Though, the feeling of relief that he still had a chance was more satisfying in the end.
By the time Saiki got to your house it was basically as soon as school ended. He used teleportation to get here as fast as he could, as well as just appear in your room. He wasn’t expecting you to still be asleep, though, he supposed this wasn’t too bad.
The pink haired male carefully walking up to the bedside of his best friend. It was odd to see your hair going in one direction instead of all over the place like normal, and don’t even get him started on the soft snores that came from your nose. Snoring isn’t usually the most attractive thing in the world, but this light snores from you made him think of the habit as cute.
Now, he would normally wake you up. But, just allowing himself to look at you for a moment longer without any consequences never hurt anybody. Saiki sat himself down on your floor, his eyes keeping to your closed ones as they slowly began to travel down to your lips. He doesn’t know what came over him, but it seriously began to freak him out when he started think about Kaido touching his lips with yours. After the freak out, jealousy was spiraling around in the psychic. He never knew that Kaido, of all people, would actually develop romantic feelings for you. If he did, he would have never allowed the both of you to interact the way you did at his house the other day.
Saiki let out a sigh before standing up once more, his hand came up to your shoulder slowly and began to shake it. It wasn’t long after that your eyes fluttered open and gave him that soft smile that caused his heart to skip a beat.
6. School Trip
The school trip was always the most looked forward to activity in high school. This year it was a three day trip to Okinawa. While you were excited to spend some time at a gorgeous place like Okinawa, Saiki was definitely less excited.
As kids talked with their friends in a group or just at their desks, you were currently sitting on top of Saiki’s desk with the pink haired boy sitting in the chair. This wasn’t something you always do, especially since at times Saiki has pushed you off out of retaliation, but after a moment or two of still being there, you knew he didn’t mind today.
“You excited?” You asked him.
“No. I don’t get the appeal.” He spit out, his eyes closing as he moved his head down. “I could get to Okinawa in three minutes.”
“Kusuo, not everyone is like you.” You explained. “So don’t go getting moody on this trip, I’m not letting you ruin it for me.”
“I won’t, I’m just saying a fact.” He replied.
You were about to continue with things you’re excited to do during the trip before Hairo came around to the both of you with a clip board in hand. He was responsible for dividing rooms.
“Saiki, [Name], did you guys decide on your group for the class trip?” He asked politely. “You should have three boys and three girls in your group.”
Saiki didn’t say anything, instead he just rested his head against your forearm. Perhaps he wanted Hairo to think he fell asleep and leave it to you, or maybe he was actually saying that he didn’t care as long as he was with you. Either way, you smiled at the contact and said to Hairo, “Kusuo and I will be rooming, it doesn’t matter who else is in our group.”
“Okay, great!” Hairo exclaimed as he wrote it down. “Kaido and Nendou are still available so I’ll just place Kaido with your group, and then randomly place you guys with a girls group.”
“Thanks, Hairo,” you hummed out as he walked away to probably inform Kaido about the rooming.
You never minded contact with Saiki, in fact, you sort of enjoyed it. However, seeing him still like this, even with Hario now gone, you worried.
“Hey, Kusuo,” you called out.
No answer.
“Kusuo?” You asked this time. And when he didn’t answer again you unconsciously moved your hand up to his head and moved it back to where you could look him in the eyes. Saiki’s face was still without expression, though, those eyes worried you. He seemed, almost, upset.
“Kusuo?” You asked. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, signaling that nothing was wrong. You knew he was lying.
You tilted your head, some of your hair moving with gravity to expose part of your forehead. “Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.” He said, his voice was steady and yet, that look in his eyes still bothered you.
You knew he wasn’t going to budge but still, just because you’re going to let it go now doesn’t mean that you weren’t about to keep an eye on him.
Throughout the beginning and the first day of the trip, you kept an eye on Saiki. He seemed way more tired than usual, but that didn’t startle you. Instead, it was how he was by your side more often now when Kaido was around. You weren’t an idiot, it was pretty obvious. You didn’t mind Saiki’s attention, but you didn’t want him to think just because you were friends with Kaido that he’d be put second.
“Kusuo, can we talk?” You asked him as the two of you had the room to yourselves. The others were out and about, but the two of you decided on an early night.
“About what?” He asked as he set up his sleeping area.
“Today.” You started out. “You’ve been acting weird around Kaido. Did something happen?”
You watched Saiki carefully, so carefully that you noticed his fingers lightly curl around the blanket. You didn’t want to push him, so instead of pushing him to speak, you allowed yourself to be silent and let him take his time. You don’t remember how many minutes pasted, but you swear it felt like decades.
“Nothing happened.” He informed you. “His thoughts just aren’t for my taste at the moment.”
“His thoughts?” You questioned as you slowly approached Saiki on his blanket until you were right in front of him. “Okay, then, what’s got you all bothered? Let me guess, he’s thinking dirty things, right?”
“Sort of.” He replied.
“I bet it’s about Teruhashi,” you theorized. “Is that why you don’t like it?”
“No, it’s not about Teruhashi.”
“Really? Then who?”
Saiki went quiet once more.
You sighed. Your head moving down to get a glimpse at his face. It wasn’t until you moved your hand over by his, your finger tips brushing with his accidentally to get more stability as you leaned in did you hear him finally confess.
“It was about you.”
To say that you needed a minute to take that in was an understatement. Kaido was a good guy and all, but it was kinda startling to realize he liked guys, as well as girls, since you didn’t suspect that even for a minute with him.
“Seriously?” You asked once more.
Saiki nodded. “He asked me if he could ask you out.”
“And what did you say?”
“No.”
You couldn’t help a smile crawl upon your face with that one. You knew it was a bit hard to read Saiki, especially when it came to you, but you were just beyond happy to hear that.
“Good,” you suddenly shot out. Saiki’s head moving back up in an instant to see your happy features. “I don’t like Kaido like that anyway, saves me from breaking his heart.”
“You don’t?”
“Nope.” You hummed out. You knew this may backfire on you in more ways than one, but right now, you didn’t care. The happiness you felt told you to take a chance and throw out the bait. “I know you can’t read my mind, but I actually do have someone I like.”
Saiki aimlessly stared at you for a moment and took in the words you confessed to him. It was an odd feeling, the rapid beating of his heart, but perhaps this was finally the start of things going his way for once.
On the second day of the trip, everyone went to Emerald Beach. It was one of the many places were people could stare at others and no one would think anything of it. A perverts dream. Though, for Saiki, he just wanted to hang out with you.
“Where’s [Name]?” Kaido asked Nendou as Saiki stood behind the two.
“He said he had to go buy a swimsuit. The one he brought apparently went missing.” Nendou told the blue haired boy.
Now, that want a mistake. Sure, it may have been a dirty trick but Saiki rather die than see you in the swimsuit you brought. After all, you bought a shirt with it. He knew you didn’t take off your shirt often, even at the beach, but he was determined to see you with just a pair of shorts.
Much like how all the guys that crowded around the girls changing house waited patiently to see Teruhashi in a two piece swim suit.
It was a while after Teruhashi came out, and when everyone was in the water that you made your appearance. You had your hands wedged into your swim shirt pockets as you allowed your feet to take in the hot sand that felt magical between your toes. You gazed around for a moment before noticing pink hair sitting under an umbrella.
A devilish smirk crawled on your features as you began to slowly approach the male. This may give Saiki a heart attack, but it was worth it. As you stood over him from behind, you attacked. Your body shot down as your arms wrapped aruund his neck and pushed your chest into his bare back.
“Hey, what’s a cute guy like you doing all alone at a place like this?” You teased, allowing your voice to go on for some time so that he realized it was just you.
Saiki immediately flinched at the contact before noticing it was just you. However, when he noticed the touch of your skin against his, he could feel his entire body heat up. The sensation was new, he’s felt his face go hot before, but his entire body was a new one.
“What took you so long?” Saiki tried to play off.
You just sighed and got a tighter grip on the male, your chest pushing more into his back. “Someone stole my swimsuit. Sadly, I didn’t have enough money to replace the whole thing, so I had to go by some swim shorts.”
“Hm, as least you’re here.” Saiki stated, making sure not to comment on the ‘stolen swimsuit’.
“Yeah,” you uttered as you released Saiki from your grasp and sat down next to him. You gazed out at the beautiful ocean that was filled with laughing people with this loving look in your eyes, all the while not realizing Saiki’s held that same gaze as he stared at you.
When you did turn to him, he completely lost himself in his mind as his eyes wondered about your figure. You weren’t the most fit guy in the world, but you did have these subtle yet enchanting muscle lines along your upper body that made Saiki lose himself.
“I saw that.” You suddenly said. Saiki’s eyes now darting back to yours. “You just checked me out.”
Saiki saw no way out of this one. So, he just confessed it. “So what if I was?”
In all honesty, he just expected you to laugh and tell him that it’s only fair if he does the same. However, the twist was unexpected and, well, definitely appreciated. He watched as you gazed down, this bashful look in your eyes as you did everything to avoid his gaze. Your body language wasn’t helping either. Your fingers were tapping against the towel and the heel of your foot was moving back and forth.
Maybe this trip wasn’t totally for nothing.
7. All That Was A Secret
Spring break. It was one of those weeks that Saiki went to go visit his grandparents all the way in the middle fo nowhere. So, for the most of this break, you were home alone. 
It was kind of boring. This break was definitely not one that you looked forward to, more now then before, especially after the beach during the class trip. Those words always ended up repeating in your mind, way too much then you thought they would. Then again, you shouldn’t be surprised. All those days that you’d try to subtly touch him, tease him, it was just a way to relieve yourself of the pent up emotions you’ve had for him for a few years now. 
Currently, you were in your room upon your bed, hugging one of your pillows close to your chest. You never tried to dwell on if Saiki felt the same or not, but recently, it’s been clawing at you more and more. It wasn’t like you didn’t think you had a chance, but more if Saiki was more comfortable just staying friends. You would understand, even if it would hurt, you’d do it for him. You’d do anything for that guy. 
You sighed before slowly lifting your body off the bed. Today wasn’t a good day for being sad, it was summer break, after all. You knew you had to get your mind off Saiki, and him being away made it a bit easier. So, you grabbed some clothes from your closet and laid them on the bed. You weren’t sure what you were going to do, but you were determined to fine something to take your mind off him. 
You let your pants drop to the ground before taking the ones on your bed and letting your legs slip through each of the pant legs. Next, you stripped your shirt off and took in a deep breath. You paused for a moment before dropping the dirty shirt on the ground and grabbing the new one. In all honestly, you never really pay attention to your surroundings when changing. But, does anyone? It wasn’t until your head went through the hole on the top of the shirt did you realize that the bed in front of you was now missing and the wall you were staring at was not the wall of your bed room. When you turned your head, you locked eyes with Saiki in an unfamiliar room. 
“Huh?” You uttered under your breath before your eyes widened, your face felling hotter than usual before frantically pulling your shirt all the way down. Once down, you opened your mouth and said, “You can’t do that without me knowing! What if I was in the middle of a shower or something and not just changing?”
“I would have given you some of my clothes.” He replied nonchalantly.
You bit the inside of your cheek before crossing your arms over your chest. “Why did you teleport me anyway?��
“I can’t stand it here.” Saiki confessed. Of course, you knew he didn’t exactly enjoying visiting his grandparents but he has never done this before. “Just hang out with me. I’ll send you back after.”
You sighed. You can’t exactly say no after that, so, with that Saiki and you began to watch a movie. It wasn’t one you two watched before so it was easy to get lost in it. Though, it was also easy to focus on Saiki when he suddenly placed his hand on top of yours as you guys watched. You weren’t too sure if he thought you wouldn’t notice, but there was no way you were going to pull away. After all, it’s not like he placed his fingers between yours, if he did that, you don’t know if you could handle it. 
After a half an hour into the movie you finally got the plot of it, and you weren’t amused at all. It was a best friends to lovers troupe. More specifically, childhood friends that drifted apart only to be brought back together by work and now slowly are developing feelings for one another. Let’s just say now, you were a little more than nervous. 
Thank god Saiki couldn’t read your mind, because now, you feel like you’d give him a headache. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he knows and is only doing this to taunt you, or maybe this was all just a big coincident. Yeah, one massive coincident. In reality though, Saiki was just teasing you. He had no idea of your feelings but he wanted to watch the movie with you to implant the idea in his mind of the possibility.
Well, his plan was working. Maybe a little too much. Though, as you were about to spit something out, your eyes suddenly shot down to the floor in embarrassment. Yep, a make out scene. Of course, Saiki had no idea about that, but it was better than just the sappy stuff cause now it was really ingrained in your head. 
Once it was over and you had somewhat of your cool back you couldn’t help it. You needed to ask. If it blew up in flames, then so be it. 
“Hey, Saiki,” you uttered out lowly. Saiki caught it immediately and turned his gaze on you. “I have a.. question.”
“What?” He asked.
“Well,” your voice trailed off as you moved your eyes down to where both of your hands connected. “We’ve been best friends for a long time now but, have you ever, um, thought about doing...that?
Saiki remained quiet for a moment, his thoughts going everywhere before thinking to himself, ‘All the time, actually.’
As much as he wish he could have said that telepathically, he could never try to say that vocally. So, he just opted for a nod and watched your body flinch. The hand he touched growing warm.
“You’re hot.” Saiki suddenly spit out. This time, you brought your hand back to your body so he couldn’t tell anymore. 
“S-So what?” You stuttered out.
To say that Saiki didn’t like this side of you was an understatement. He’s never never seen you so flustered before, and it was really adorable to look at.
“It’s cute.” Saiki commented, his body leaning in just to see your face closer.
You turned your head to the side, eyes darting to the tv just to look away for a moment to compose yourself. You knew that there wasn’t gonna be another perfect moment like this so, you slowly reached over to place your hand on the back of Saiki’s neck. It was warm. When he noticed what you wanted as you started to lean back and gently pull him with you, he complied quickly until he gazed at you from above. Suddenly, he was jealous at the fact that Kaido got to see this view before him. 
He stared at you for a moment before watching you bite down on your bottom lip, his mind doing backflips at the want to read your mind, but also at how good you looked under him. 
“Kiss me.” You whispered under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear. 
“If I do,” Saiki uttered lowly. “I might not be able to stop.”
“That’s okay.”
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twistedmusings · 3 years
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Reading Between The Lines
A/N: I feel bad whenever I say 'hey here is what I am working on' and then my muses tell me 'no...this is what you are working on'. It's like my brain can't concentrate on one thing entirely q wq. In my defense though, I'm exploring my twst faves...and Cater may be a runner up to Vil...
Warnings: Dry humping, dirty talking and a quick handjob just as unsatisfying and ungratifying as Cater feeling like maybe he shouldn't have let you go just yet.
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“Whoops.”
Cater’s phone case cracked as it hit the floor, eyes locking with yours as you pull away from the Heartslabyul second year. Why had he even dropped his phone in the first place? The case had cost a lot and he had queued up for hours to get it, there should have been no reason for him to drop it.
Maybe the shock from seeing you in Heartslabyul?
No, that was normal. You were friends with Ace and Deuce after all so your presence in Heartslabyul was normal.
Maybe from seeing you in a bedroom that wasn’t a first year room?
He was coming to check up on a second year who had mentioned something about needing help in Astrology so Riddle had instructed Cater to help the guy out. The ‘strict Queen’ was aiming for the highest grade among the dorms, after all. So he was just carrying out his duty as an upperclassman!
So seeing you here, in this second year’s room, shirt around your elbows as a pair of hands--
that weren’t his--gently wrapped themselves around your waist was probably what made him drop his case.
Good to know, if he had come to that conclusion at any other time that you weren’t here, he might have said something mean to his lower-class men.
You move to fix your shirt as the second year rushes to apologize, walking up to him and spouting words Cater wouldn’t bother to hear. His eyes kept staring as you fixed yourself up to look a tad more proper than how he had found you.
It wasn’t like the sight of you in that state was unfamiliar to him, he just hadn’t seen it in a long time.
“Please just keep it between us, Cater-san! I don’t know what I’d do if the dorm head found out about this.”
He snaps out of his trance, looking down at the second year before grinning as he let out a slow hum, pretending to mull the request over in his head.
“Should I? If I remember correctly...Rule 345--Only when the sky turns red as it is dawning can a romantic partner be brought--”
“I--I’ll tell the dorm leader that you helped me with class!”
Cater grins, “That’s one way to make it up to me~ I guess for now I should leave you with a warning, right?” he tilts his head to call out to you, “The same goes for you [Y/N]-san! I can’t have you getting someone other than Ace and Deuce in trouble!”
He can't help but feel a sense of pride when you chuckle at what he had said, turning around to give him a peace sign as you walk by the second year.
“I’ll try to do an effort to hide in the closet next time.”
The second year takes your hand and kisses it, apologizing for the trouble and closing his eyes when your hands cup his cheek and pull him in for a kiss, the action making Cater look down at his phone and open whatever app he saw first.
You wave goodbye as Cater closes the door quickly, not giving you a chance to look at your second year lover fully as the both of you walk down the corridors of Heartslabyul in silence.
“So.”
“Hm?”
Green eyes keep looking at his phone, scrolling through Magicam absentmindedly but sparring you one look as he sees you scratching at a hickey--he would have left a bigger one-- the second year had left behind.
“Was he any good?”
In his defense, what had started between you two was clearly labeled as a ‘no feelings allowed, we are just here to have fun’ relationship. You seemed to understand his nature better than most and were down for something that wasn’t super serious and borderline erotic in a sense.
Cater was sure that you two had done it in at least one surface in every common room in Heartslabyul. The thought kept him awake at night, actually.
“Was he any good…” you repeat the question, “As good as I’m going to get from a second year.”
“Oh the poor guy.” Cater can’t help the snort that escapes him as you two walk down a set of stairs leading to the dorm’s entrance, “It is surprising you went for him, didn’t you mention that you liked the older type?”
“Well after a certain ‘older type’ decided to end things, I thought I should try my hand at something different. Change my ways, you know?”
He didn’t know. Cater had no idea what you were talking about, in fact. Why would you have to change your ways for anyone? You were amazing, interesting, entertaining and attention-grabbing all wrapped up in an older sibling type package that he had admitted to being attracted to when he had brought up the ‘friends with benefits’ proposition. If you changed in anyway he would be disappointed--
Dammit he was doing it again.
“If you want to start a relationship with someone in Heartslabyul, I would recommend Trey. He’s handsome, hardworking and you wouldn’t go hungry. Perfect man material right there.”
Cater knew that the small jab was directed at him so he decided to switch subjects, preferring not to linger in the awkward feeling that came with the consequences of his actions.
He ended things because he had broken the rules you both had set in place. Feelings weren't allowed and yet he had let them burrow deep inside his heart and fester like some sort of unknown virus. Cater didn't care for them so he nipped the problem in the bud, broke things off in an amicable manner and moved on.
But, like with everything in his life, it had all been an act.
If it had been just the sex keeping him awake, he would have understood. He's a healthy young man and some of the activities you two engaged in would make any first year jealous. And for a while the memories of you warming his bed generally did start to make him yearn for your warmth.
It was the possibilities of what you could have had that were driving him insane.
Would you have said no to a date? The only thing you two did when you were alone were have sex, make fun of Magicam models, sleep and then have sex some more so surely you would have liked a change of scenery as well.
But he didn't know you as much as he wished he did. Nights in his bed had been spent tossing and turning as to what your answer would have been. Why did he even care? You both still hung out, you still had his number, it wasn't like either of you were dead to each other!
Cater just didn't know how to react to you seeing someone else, if that is what you were even doing in the first place.
"Trey-senpai? I guess...he is rather sweet, isn't he?"
"In more ways than one."
"...but I will have to pass." you rub the back of your neck, "You know I don't like sweets."
The clock strikes ten as Cater's eyes take all of you in, his mind blanking out for a response before he clicks his tongue and points behind him.
"Say, Prefect, I think you may have left something in my room. Mind if I give it to you now?"
-----
"Oh. Your case cracked."
"Yeah. Dropped my phone. Bummer, huh?"
"Here I thought you held onto that thing for dear life, can I see it?"
Cater laughs as he takes his phone out of his back pocket and hands it to you, turning back to dig in his drawer for the sole sock that you had left about a month ago.
Who was he bullshitting? He was panicking, plain and simple. Here he was, rummaging through his drawer like an idiot as he pretended to have a sock that he knew he didn't have all to keep you with him for a couple more minutes.
Stars, who was he? He didn't know himself anymore.
“And...dammit.” he laughs as he closes the bottom drawer of his heart closet, “Couldn’t find it. I’m sorry [Y/N]-chan, I shouldn’t have taken your time like that. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorm...or maybe you wanna talk on the phone while you walk there?”
He goes to grab his phone but stops as he turns to look at you, your fingers tracing the giant crack on the case before tapping it twice in quick succession.
“[Y/N]--”
“We both really messed up, huh?”
Cater blinks as your eyes stare at him as if, for a brief moment, you could look through him. Through the act, the apathy, the very thing that was keeping him at the seams but also making him feel like he would burst from the inside out.
“...what do you mean?”
You keep gazing at him for a couple of seconds before smiling as you hold up the phone.
“I shouldn’t have snuck into Heartslabyul to just get a need met...and you shouldn’t have walked into that poor student’s room without knocking.” you wave the phone around, “Now your precious item is broken.”
The conversation didn’t feel right. It felt as if you were saying something else and all Cater needed to do was read in between the lines.
But he refused to, he didn’t want to go below surface level. Everything would get so much more complicated if you both took that plunge.
Yet he was feeling daring, the smile on your face a clear challenge as he walked over to you and grabbed the edge of his phone.
“Maybe I wanted to break it.”
Silence reigns in the room as you two stare at each other, both of your hands holding onto the edge of his phone and daring the other to let go. He smiles and tugs on his edge, the movement effortlessly pulling you towards him as you snicker when the edge of your foot touches his.
“Cater.” you whisper as your hands slowly let go of the phone.
“Yes?” he whispers back, purposefully leaning over you as he places the phone on his desk.
“Nothing. I just like saying your name.”
Whether he started it or you started it honestly didn’t matter to him, the only thing Cater cared about was pulling you close and pressing his lips against yours so he could stop listening to all of your complicated sentences.
He didn’t understand them, he didn’t understand you.
And yet you seemed to understand him probably better than he understood himself.
Arms are around his neck as you pull him close, Cater slowly walking you back to his bed as the back of your knees hit the comforter which causes both of you to fall down. You pull away to snicker at the action but are brought right back into the kiss by needy lips, Cater whispering your name as he pushed you upwards so that you would be pressed right against the wall--
He groans when you pull away and is surprised to be kissing a pair of fingers instead of your lips, your smile still as elusive as ever as you slowly push his face away.
“I have a lover, senpai.”
Cater rolls his eyes, “I don’t like those kinds of jokes.”
“I’m not joking. It’s late so I’m just going to go over to his room and tell him that you’ll cover for us, okay? Okay. ”
You pinch his nose as you try to push him away but find your wrists grabbed and locked in place, Cater giving you a hard glare as he presses his forehead against yours.
“I said I don’t like those kinds of jokes.” he leans in and gives you another kiss, “You’re not his lover.”
“Who says that?”
“[Y/N]-chan did.” Cater’s lips press against yours again as he makes his way down to the offending hickey the second year had left on you, “The way you talk about him, the way you weren’t even embarrassed at getting caught. You are toying with the heart of one of my second years and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”
He nips at the bruise before placing his lips on it, teeth gently opening up more blood vessels to form a much darker shade on your skin than what was left there before.
“Is that all you can’t forgive me for?”
Cater smiles against your skin as he takes your wrists and leads your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling you into his lap as he answers your question with a kiss.
His tongue meets yours this time around, both of you giggling at the familiar taste. When was the last time you two had kissed like this? Nevermind that, the question was already too annoying to think about. Instead, Cater moves his hips upwards as he groans into your lips at the wanted friction.
He takes a hold of your hips as he pushes you down to meet him mid-movement, his hips rolling up as yours are pushed down. The movement is sloppy and the action itself feels so unsatisfying but Cater almost feels as if this is the only thing he deserves from you. If either of you enjoyed this it would mean you two went too far--
“Haha...look at your face.”
Green eyes look at you as you cup the man’s face, pressing a gentle kiss on his nose as you start to roll your hips on his, meeting him halfway.
“You probably want to cum inside, right Cater-senpai?”
His hips jump at the mere thought, the idea of you laying on your side as his cum drips down from your sex all the way down your thighs.
“We did it with protection a lot ~We always followed the rules of our agreement…”
Hands dive between you two, Cater’s eyes never leaving yours as he works to get his pants off while his hands try to unbutton yours as well. You smile and meet him halfway again, taking your own bottoms off and tossing them carelessly to the side as you both are left in nothing but your underwear.
“Every time we did it--you always looked like you wanted to do something else--”
Cater takes the chance of you biting your lower lip to go a bit faster, the tip of his cock rubbing against you at a faster speed as he changed position quickly and hooked your knees over his elbows.
“And at first---at first I thought it was just you getting bored…”
He gasps when two of your fingers press right at the tip of his cock, the way he was moving his hips allowing it to rub comfortably against the padding of your fingers as you gently cooed at the precum gathering there.
“But one time I was able to see it. See what you really wanted--!”
His own hand makes his way in between the mess of hips and stuttered movements, his fingers tracing a familiar pattern up and down your sex as he feels you pull him out of his boxers and start to pump in rhythm.
“If...If you cum after me...I’ll let you cum inside...”
It’s starting to get hotter, Cater feels like he can see his own breath fogging up his vision.
“Count it as reward…”
The coil in his stomach is tightening, your hands moving faster as his stutters with the rhythm you were setting.
“For being honest with me at least one time.”
It’s a sticky mess, the white stuff sticking to your belly and his as he rides out his orgasm against your hand and stopping altogether when the feeling gets too much. His fingers work overtime before your back arches and you give into yours as well, your toes curling for a moment before your feet hit the mattress unceremoniously.
He didn’t know where in the world that had come from or what possessed you to talk like that...but that was probably the hardest he had released in the month you two stopped interacting with one another.
Cater looks at the mess once again before moving to clean it up, stopping only when he feels a hand tug at the front of his shirt and a pair of lips meeting his all over again.
“Offer is still on the table, senpai.”
You unbutton the first few buttons of your shirt, smiling as larger hands batted yours away to continue the job.
“Please do your best to hold out longer.”
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whumpster-fire · 3 years
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His Dark Materials Thoughts: Daemons and Disability / Neurodivergence
More stupid His Dark Materials thoughts and headcanons because I still can’t get over this series.
I’m really curious how various disabilities would interact with having a daemon. I’d guess that for a lot of conditions the daemon could basically fill the role of a service animal, especially if the person had the condition from childhood so they could settle in a form that was capable of helping - e.g. daemons assuming forms with strong senses of smell to check for allergens. And this would probably be true for some neurological conditions where there’s something physically messed up in your brain.
However, I think for neurodivergency, it’s different: if the human is neurodivergent their daemon is neurodivergent as well. And while a human and daemon are “one being,” daemons still have their own personalities and emotional needs.
Using autism as an example because I’m autistic and can speculate based on my own experiences:
Autistic people are usually very close to their daemons, even by the standards of the setting, because while anyone’s daemon inherently understands them better than other people do, the gap is much, much wider for ND people. Real talk, I think I was drawn to this series and the concept of daemons so strongly because the idea of a companion I could fully trust and interact with without the constant fear of breaking some unknown and unspoken rule and who fully empathized with me was something I wanted soooo badly.
A lot more sensory information is “transmitted” between human and daemon than most people notice because the brain tends to filter it out. Autistic people’s brains aren’t as good at filtering out “junk” sensory info though, and this includes what comes through over the bond between them. You can’t actually see through your daemon’s eyes but autistic people tend to feel shared sensations more intensely and pick up on things like smells and textures that a neurotypical brain would tune out (and this works in both directions). This makes autistic people more vulnerable to sensory overload than in our world.
Sometimes only one of the pair is verbal, or at least verbal with others / much more comfortable talking to others. If it’s the human, people tend to not notice because “daemons should be seen and not heard” is kind of the norm in the setting but if the daemon is speaking for the pair most of the time it’s seen as weird. Some autistic people may also be more comfortable talking to other people’s daemons than to the humans, which isn’t technically part of the taboo but it’s pretty frowned upon.
For both tactile-seeking and tactile-defensive people, the daemon’s settled form is often determined by the need for physical affection - either because as they grow into teenagers it becomes less socially acceptable to touch other people as much as they need to, or because the only touch that feels safe for the pair is with each other. A settled form doesn’t always follow the human’s preference, but is always a form the daemon is comfortable with and likes. Daemons settling in forms their human actively hates is rare, and usually means there was already serious conflict between them with the human refusing to accept their nature - i.e. sailors’ daemons usually take seabird forms or mammals like otters or minks that can stray away from the water, settling in a dolphin form was noteworthy for a reason because it’s such a drastic act, and IMO that was probably caused by the human trying to abandon the sea entirely and fighting with his own daemon about it until she was like “Let’s see you take us away from the sea now!”
But anyway: daemons don’t just settle in forms based on symbolism or social convention if it’s going to make both them and their humans miserable and/or mess up their relationship IMO, and usually they show a preference for forms similar to their settled one in the years leading up to settling (e.g. Pantalaimon clearly liked his stoat/ferret and wildcat forms and mostly took other ones for reasons of practicality and convenience, and I said this in another post but I think he became a pine marten because it was the closest he could get to combining the two). If a pre-adolescent human and daemon are super cuddly with each other and that touch is really important to them, the daemon will probably settle in a form that’s compatible with that. It’s rare for autistic daemons to settle as something as small as a mouse where they could only be carefully pet with one or two fingers, for example, and they usually take mammalian or sometimes avian forms.
Brushing a daemon’s fur, and other techniques such as joint compression that are hard for a person to perform on their own body, can help both of the pair calm down and cope with sensory issues.
Unfortunately, given how fucked up the culture in Lyra’s world is, I shudder to imagine how they treat neurodivergent people. I can totally imagine people treating this closeness as the cause of autism and not a symptom, and treating it as a child “being socially impaired because they only interact with their daemon / let their daemon do too much for them and never learn to socialize with other people.” Aside from attempting to cure autism with Intercision, there are probably a bunch of horrible, abusive treatments passed off as “therapy,” like forcing children to do therapy sessions with their daemon trapped on the other side of an opaque, soundproof wall (doesn’t interfere with their bond if it’s within the separation limit, but keeps them from seeing / hearing / touching each other), caging the daemon, muzzling them to keep them from speaking for their human, or even not letting them sleep in the same room.
Another common problem is parents / educators treating an autistic person’s daemon like a service animal and offloading their responsibilities on them. Just expecting them to handle something like a meltdown or panic attack by themselves because “You’re part of them, you understand them!” and ignoring that the daemon also has fears and anxieties and sensory issues.
Expectation: Your autistic child’s daemon understands them better than you ever could and will be able to quickly and discretely calm them down from a meltdown / sensory overload without you needing to get involved and actually do your job as a parent.
Reality: You have two autistic children who share a soul and feel each other’s emotions and pain, and one of them likely has at least one sense that’s way more sensitive than a human’s. They can certainly be a source of comfort and support to each other, and can pick up on each other’s warning signs and remind each other to use coping strategies / get out of stressful situations and not try to “push through,” but this is a skill that takes time and maturity to learn, and it only works before the pair are completely overwhelmed. As stated above autistic people feel sensations and emotions from their daemon extra-intensely, and vice versa. A full-on meltdown or panic attack is such an overpowering flood of negative emotions that, combined with the stress of whatever caused the meltdown in the first place, usually just overwhelms both partners, especially in children. The best you can hope for is whichever one holds it together a bit longer is able to help their partner into a safe place and ask someone for help. Even if the daemon (or human) doesn’t have a meltdown their emotional battery will still be absolutely drained for probably the rest of the day.
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The issue with Teddy’s personality
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I’ve come across claims that Teddy especially does not have a personality outside his relationship with Billy and that he’s just portrayed as the boyfriend/hubby. Another claim is that he has lost all his traits in the recent years. I’d like to disagree and you are in for a long post (once again). Starting with little things, in Emperor Hulkling we see the glimpses of Teddy’s ”nerdy” side you know with the console and comics laying around, taking selfies with Spidey, think it’s a bit similar hint as in the Drag Brunch where he stays in eating his cereal and watching cartoons (as the lord intended, which could also be seen as a joke towards his religious school background). He is still being bit snarky and witty too as he always has been.
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Then comparing Billy and Teddy, people say that they don’t have personality outside each other or that Teddy just doesn’t have one but I do disagree. He has and it is there just as it has been in the first issues. Teddy has always been pictured as the ultimate kind soft boy with a sharp with right? I’m not going to say the boys are complete opposite as they are not but their traits just come out differently. Billy is just as kind I’d say but more anxious and tends to be a bit self-absorbed. Now I don’t mean he is selfish just that he has tendency to stress and lose the bigger picture while worrying over how his actions affect others or if he can control his powers etc. Teddy is more optimistic he has faced a lot, just as much as Billy I’d say, he just has a different approach to deal with the trauma. He looks for support and help and ways to solve it instead of piling it up. This optimistic personality, kindness and way he approaches problems (inner or outer) is clearly part of him being an emperor. Taking the pacifist and diplomatic approaches.
Another difference between these two is connected with the problem solving part. To me Billy is pretty intuitive and quick on his feet type of person. His approach is bit more impulse based. Going to Doom’s fortress on his own in the middle of the night anyone? Hiding robots under the mattress? Vol. 2.? I’m not saying he can’t follow or come up with well drafted plans he just has more tendency for think plan b after plan a fails. Teddy then is more of a planner and plotter in my eyes. During the first run he disguised twice as someone else first as Ironlad and then as Super-Skrull, both plans probably drafted quite quickly but still they follow maybe a bit more careful and tactical thinking than Billy’s. Similarly ”Don’t keep brain in your head” in New Avengers. He just has a bit more long term planner in him, which is also visible in Death’s Head when he and Kate talk about the wedding. It gives a vibe that Teddy does give a bit more thought to future than Billy does. He does the long term planning for them maybe because with Billy’s mental health it can be hard for him to plan ahead too much without getting anxious. Which is why I think the Vegas wedding is just reflection of Teddy’s nature.
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He clearly has had this plan ready probably for a while now, knowing that ”proper” wedding planning might not work with Billy. What he was waiting was the perfect timing to execute the plan, when Billy seems ready and in right state of mind to go through the wedding. When it came he took it and you can see he had thought of Billy and the fact that the situation might be such that it is sudden and not possible for everyone without super-powers to attend -> streaming for Billy’s parents as Billy would want his parents present somehow (as would Teddy). So again it’s not about being complete opposite and not being able to make fast decisions or commit for long term plans just that they have different strengths.
Teddy also shows signs of having a bit more willingness to take upon responsibilities and be responsible for others. He might not been ready to become emperor of two massive alien races or is he yet fully moulded leader but he felt the pressure to take on that responsibility to save lives. Putting others needs before his own a bit, just like he sometimes does a bit with Billy. We also see a bit of his growth to that task. Think it’s natural continuum to Teddy’s story arc as he has faced a lot losing his mother, supporting Billy and having to take responsibility for himself. Like yes Kaplans have surely taken good care of him but Teddy is type that doesn’t want to be a burden and clearly has held back some of his own battles to let Billy get enough support (Vol.2). I’m not saying Billy hasn’t matured or anything just that there is ought to be a small gap on this area between them. It is also reflected in King in Black (yes I disliked the issue just as much as any but hear me out). In Teddy’s part it was done well whereas Billy just had been taken to an extreme length of contrast to make them appear clearly different in nature.
Empyre in general showed great growth of Teddy starting with Emperor Hulkling and going on through-out the run. Like the boy who usually has just been kind of quiet member of a team is standing up to what he believes in and taking his ground when he really believes in what he is doing. Even if it’s against F4 and Avengers that he has fanboyed in the past.
I also think that lot of Teddy’s growth and personality is being skipped by the fandom as Billy tends to be the more popular part of the pair. I admit Teddy’s personality and growth have been shown to us more delicately and with a bit less drama/tragedy at the end of the day that it can go amiss and probably for some his arc can thus be a bit boring even because the telling goes along with Teddy’s calm and pretty stable personality.
All in all his original traits are still there they’ve just grown up with him.
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20moonchild21 · 3 years
Text
𝗦𝗲𝗵𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵𝘁 [𝗯𝘁𝘀]
⇉ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 11
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[pairings]
JK x female!oc, Bunny!JK x human!female!oc, Jin x female!oc, Leopard!Jin x human!female!oc, Jimin x female!oc, white Tiger!Jimin x human!female!oc, Taehyung x female!oc, black Tiger!Taehyung x human!female!oc, JK x Jin x Jimin x Taehyung x female!oc
[warnings]
self-doubts, mentions of an abusive past
[words]
4.0k
[author]
Hey there! I really hope you had an amazing week so far. For me, I finally finished all my exams this week. This means I will have finished school forever in only 4 weeks!😱 How crazy is that?!
Important information:
Next Wednesday I won’t upload a new chapter, because I am at a funeral, and I don’t think I will be in the mood to do anything that day anymore. I hope you can understand🙏🏼
If you don’t want to wait until next Sunday for my next chapter, I can only recommend you to check out Inferiority complex written by my friend @starlightauroras-main. It’s a super cute and exciting story about Hybrid!Jimin and the reader. Please, leave her a lot of likes and comments, because she deserves it!
Here in Germany, it is Easter weekend next week. Do you celebrate Easter where you come from?
Stay safe and healthy!
Mꨄ
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[chapter 10 ||| chapter 12]
Jungkook was sitting crossed legs on his favourite spot in the middle of the hallway, looking dreamily at the photo wall, where now the photo of him and Jin was hanging as well. It was one of the day were he had nothing to do at all.
In the morning, he had already finished his sport routine, ripping Jin out of his sleep as well when he had punched against his bag. After breakfast, he had practiced the guitar and read in his book again, before he helped Jin to get ready for his grocery shopping tour with Hope. Hope always offered that they could join her when she would go buying groceries, because she wanted to offer them as much freedom as possible.
They had put Jin’s long, fluffy tail down the leg of his trousers, while a black beanie had covered his ears from the other people’s glances. Lucky for them, autumn had arrived in New York, so it wouldn’t be strange to wear a hat when going outside. The both of them had left a few minutes ago, and since there was nothing else for Jungkook to do, he had sat down and looked over the photos.
Sometimes, it all felt unreal to him. Just about 2.5 months ago, he had been strolling around the streets, not knowing what the next they would hold for him. He had thought that his whole life would have to include fear and submission, because that was the only thing he had learnt in life. Never had he thought, that he would do simple things like watching TV, sleeping in his own bed or just sitting at the same table as a human.
Not once Hope had askes anything from him, since she had taken him and his brother in. She gave them anything, showing them that they were worth it all. In the past, he had several thoughts about not worthing all the things she offered. It was stuck in his brain for too long.
He often asked himself why people were so cruel these days. Hope had told him what had happened a long time ago, and how the people told themselves that their minds had changed. Since he had been living with the girl, he somehow didn’t felt that different anymore. He was just living his life with his brother, doing the things he liked without being punished for it. He wanted everyone to have that possibility.
His thoughts were interrupted when the door behind him opened with a small squeaking sound. He didn’t need to turn around, because by now, he knew Jimin’s scent. The smaller tiger and his grumpy brother had been staying with them for over 1.5 weeks now. Jungkook wasn’t that happy in the beginning when they crashed into his life without warning.
Especially, when that grumpy tiger growled at Hope that one evening or when he showed off his fangs. Though he hadn’t sharp tooth like him, he would not have been afraid to kick them out of the flat, but he had tried to calm himself down when Jin used his stern tone on him. His brother was right, a few weeks ago, him and Jin had been in the same position as Jimin and Taehyung. They laid scared and injured on the girl’s sofa, begging for her to help them.
“What are you doing?” Jimin had stepped out of the room and was now standing behind Jungkook, looking curiously at the bunny Hybrid.
Jungkook had to admit that he somehow like that white tiger. Jimin was a calm person to hang out with. He wasn’t sure about him in the beginning, because he had thought he was like his grumpy brother, but once he had talked to him a few times, he had developed sympathy for him.
“I look at those photos.” Jungkook turned his head and looked at the smaller male.
Jimin’s white ears stood up in attention, while his tail was slightly wrapped around his left thigh. He was looking at the photos on the wall, before he took a step closer and carefully sunk himself down next to the bunny. Jimin had definitely changed since the first time he came here, Jungkook could tell. He had become braver, talking and joining them sometimes while eating or watching TV.
Jungkook didn’t mind thought. He had wanted a friend (who wasn’t his brother) for a long time, because when Jin was cooking in the kitchen and Hope was working on her computer, he often got bored.
“Are you only looking at them all day long?” Jimin had crossed his legs as well, as he carefully studied the pictured on the wall.
“I –“ Jungkook stopped. It was hard to explain his affection for pictures. “It just – when I first came here, I was so scared that maybe Hope would be as cruel as my – as my last owners. But then she showed me around and when I saw those pictures and she told me the stories behind them, it just felt right. They made me feel – safe and like I was home, you know? It’s hard to explain, but I just love that wall.”
Jungkook pulled up his knees towards his chest, before putting his head onto them. Jimin next to him just hummed in response, but he wasn’t saying anything for another few minutes. Jungkook knew it may sounded selfish when he talked about his now happy life, while he knew that Jimin and Taehyung technically didn’t have one. After all, they weren’t living here.
“It must be great to have Hope as your owner.” Jimin suddenly said, his voice held a lot of sadness. “Since I can think, Taehyung had been my only family. It had always been just him and me.”
“Jin and me were alone for a long time, too.” Jungkook turned his head to look at the older male sitting next to him. “I always thought that I would spend my whole life with those cruel people. I thought that I was destined to live like that, but then I met Hope and everything just turned upside down. She is just – she gave me everything I could have ever asked for.”
Jungkook didn’t realized that he was already rumbling about the girl again, but Jimin did.
“You are talking about her a lot.” Jimin just stated, as they looked into each other’s eyes. “You like her, don’t you?”
Of course Jungkook liked her. Hope was the only human he knew who would actually treat him as if he was a real person and not just some animal. She gave him a real home. A home that he loved to wake up in every morning, and a home he felt safe to go to sleep in the evening.
In addition, Hope was a really beautiful girl in his eyes. He always like the way her skin would glow in the sun when they sat at the breakfast table. The way she always closed her tired eyes, as she sipped at her coffee mug, or how that two dimples would form on her cheeks every time she laughed along with him. Somehow it would always make his own cheeks reddened when caught himself thinking about her.
Not to mention her scent, that was all over the apartment and the furniture. It was nothing he could describe or compare with something, but still, it was the most beautiful scent he had ever smelled in his life. He never wanted to miss that anymore.
He wanted to feel that closeness they had while they would be cuddling onto the couch, watching the Simpsons over and over again. As well as her small kisses on the head when she would say good-night to him, or when she would massage the back of his head. He wouldn’t even have a problem with her touching his ears by now.
“Yes, I like her.” He whispered back, confessing it for the very first time to another person.
Jimin pulled his eyebrows together in surprise and confusion. Of course, he had noticed that the girl was very natural and nice, which made her likable, but he also hadn’t known her for as long as Jungkook.
“Did you tell her that?” Jimin innocently asked the bunny Hybrids after a few seconds of silence.
“No, it’s not appropriate, Jimin.” He said quietly, fixing his eyes on the photo were the girl smiled at her graduation ceremony. “I am just a Hybrid after all. She would never get involved in something like that. She deserves better than me.”
Jimin just nodded in response, before he fixed his eyes on the photo wall once again, getting lost in his own mind. Jimin was clearly a person you could tell your matters and secrets without feeling judged un some kind. Jungkook felt really comfortable in the older one’s presence.
“Why is your brother even so grumpy all the time?” He suddenly changed the subject, wanting to cheer up the mood a little bit. “He is always pulling a face when I see him.”
Jungkook tried to imitate the older black tiger, making some funny grimaces that mad Jimin chuckle slightly. The white tiger shook his head, before he looked behind him to make sure Taehyung would not be standing behind them.
“Usually, he isn’t like that. Really.” He sighed, turning his attention back towards Jungkook. “He has been through a lot in the past. I swear, he would never hurt a fly, that would not be him. He can be really caring and protective, that’s why he reacted the way he did the other night. I am sorry for him, but he is only scared.”
Jungkook nodded, understanding Taehyungs reaction in some way. He probably would be the same way, if he would be in his position.
“I understand.” He mumbled, before a smile spread over his face. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he is a big, grumpy cat.”
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“Oh my god, Taehyung.” The girl gasped, as she removed the bandage that had been wrapped around the older boy’s injured arm. “That looks much worse than yesterday. Did you scratch it or something?”
The black tiger’s arm had become much better over the past few days. The infection had been gone down, but now it looked horrible. The skin was red and swollen again, with some blood coming through the injured skin.
“I – ehm – no?” He stuttered around, not looking her into the eyes. She cocked her eyebrow up and gave him a stern look. “Okay, it was itching badly last night, so I scratched it a little bit. Are you happy?”
Hope just rolled her eyes when he tried to talk in his loud way. He could be so stubborn. I he would just had asked her, she could have gave him some salve which had avoid that scenario. But he, he was too proud.
“Taehyung, this is no joke.” She grabbed the wet glove and tried to remove the small amount of blood, which made Taehyung hiss. “Your wound got infected again. You have to be more careful. If it itches again, just come to me and I add some salve to alleviate it, okay?”
She sighed when he just rolled his eyes in response. She had tried to show him that he could talk to her in a normal way, without intimidating her with his fangs or snapping at each other, but somehow he seemed to isolate himself on purpose, and she couldn’t understand why, because Jimin was the complete opposite.
The white tiger had clearly opened up over the past few days, talking and joking around in his bubbly way that was nice to watch. He even got a tiny little bit closer with Jungkook. She sometimes saw the two younger boys talking or watching TV together.
“Where did you even got that injury?” She suddenly asked without thinking. As soon as the words had left her, she noticed her mistake. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you that. It was inappropriate. You don’t have to tell me of course. I was just curious.”
Taehyung had bit his cheek inside his mouth, as she just turned her attention back towards his arm and continued to clean up the injury. For a short moment, she thought that he would again try to intimidate her with his fangs, but instead, he shook his head, before he turned his head away.
“After Jimin and I managed to get away from that audition – “ He hesitantly began to talk in a slow, deep voice. “ – they sent some chasers after us, that should catch us and bring us back. We ran for hours, when Jimin had suddenly spotted that old, rotten building. We tried to find an entrance, but we there was none, so we tried to climb through one of the windows. I wanted to jump from the window sill, when my arm got stuck at a nail, that I haven’t seen in the wall. That’s the beginning how I ended up here.”
Hope didn’t miss the bitterness in his voice when he talked about his escape. It took her much to not break out in tear in front of him, even though her heart broke at his story. She knew that inside in, Taehyung was just a normal boy with good intention, who deserves to live in a peaceful surrounding. He definitely didn’t deserve to live a live on the streets.
“I definitely need to be more careful the next time, what?” He suddenly joked, chuckling slightly.
It took the girl a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. Her heart skipped a beat when reality hit her. Jimin and Taehyung weren’t living here after all. She had told them in the beginning that they could stay until Taehyung was healthy again, and that day would come along soon.
Both tigers would leave the apartment again, going out on the streets an living their lives there. It broke her heart when she thought back how scared both of them had been when she had found them a few days ago in that abandoned parking house. In addition, winter would start soon and the temperatures were already falling. It would be crazy to spend the nights out there alone.
“Do you – “ She stopped, battling in her head if she you ask him that question or not. “Do you know where you want to – to go?”
Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. She actually didn’t want hear his response, knowing that it would stuck in her head and wouldn’t let her sleep anymore.
“No.” He whispered back, still refusing to look into her eyes. “We – we will just try to hide somewhere, I guess.”
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“Goodnight, Jimin.” She slightly waved at the white tiger, before he closed the door, leaving the small girl alone in the hallway.
The conversation from earlier was still bugging at her brain. She wanted to take in any Hybrid that was suffering in this world, but she knew it was impossible.
Over the past days, she had often thought about Jin and Jungkook and how she had just taken them in. Should she ask Jimin and Taehyung too? After all, the apartment offered them more than enough space to stay and it seemed like Jungkook and Jin got along with at least Jimin. But maybe Jungkook just acted nice because he knew that they would leave at some point.
It was not a decision she could take on her own. Jin and Jungkook were living here as well. She would have to accept their decision like they had always respected her decisions.
A shiver ran down her spine when she thought about how she would have to tell Jimin and Taehyung that they would have to leave again. Where would they go? Taehyung had told her that they would try to hide on the streets again, with no one to protect them, with no warm place to stay.
Carefully, she turned around and walked towards her boys’ door. She softly knocked against the piece of wood and stepped in when Jin told her so.
“Hope!” Jungkook jumped off the bed and walked with big steps over towards the smaller girl.
Gladly, she accepted the bunny’s hug. He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her closer until her face was pressed against his chest. She pressed her cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and closed her eyes. Even though her nose wasn’t as good as theirs, she smelled his manly scent through the shirt.
When Jungkook let go of her, he took her hand and pulled her over towards the bed, before he sat down and pulled her next to him. Jin was sitting at the desk, writing something into his notebook when he spotted the girl. He closed the book and walked over as well, giving her a quick side hug when he sat down.
Hope was glad that Jin had warmed up to her over the past weeks. In the beginning, he had often kept his distance towards the girl when she was near. But by now, he wouldn’t pull his hand back when their hands would touch while they set the table, he wouldn’t move over to the end of the sofa while watching TV, and he even gave her small hug when they would say goodnight to each other.
“Why did you come, Hope?” Jungkook asked, as his big, brown orbs looked into her eyes.
He was still holding her smaller hand in his bigger ones, which made her heart beat a little bit faster. She had noticed that the small things he or Jin would do would make her cheeks redden or her heart beat a little bit faster. She told herself that it was because she never had such intensive contact with a boy and that she eventually would get used to that. What was going on with her body?
“I – ehm – “ She began to stutter, trying to remember the reason she came. ���I wanted to talk to you about something. What – how are you doing so far? Did you feel different since I adopted the both of you?”
She decided to not jump into it right away. She was afraid that she would offend Jungkook with her huge request. Jin was another thing. She knew that he had a pretty calm and rational personality. He never let his emotion take over him like Jungkook, who spoke before he had thought about it.
“Amazing.” Jungkook swarmed, squeezing her hand slightly. “I feel so happy now that we can live here. But I wish we could do more to help you with everything. Sometimes, I feel bad because you have to most of the things alone. I wish that I could just do more.”
The bunny sunk his ears next to his head. His eyes were filled with sadness.
“Oh, Kookie.” She lifted her hand and carefully drove it over his thick hair. “You do more than enough for me. Look, you always help me doing the laundry and set the table for me, this is a big help, you know? One day, you can do anything you like, I promise, okay?”
Jungkook’s head shot up, before he nodded quickly. He rubbed his head a few more times against her hands, before he looked over towards Jin, who was slightly smiling as well.
“I – “ He stopped for a shirt moment. “I feel truly happy. Sometimes, I still think back at – the those people – but then – I am not scared anymore, because I know that I have Jungkook and you and then it’s okay.”
“That’s nice to hear, Jin.” Hope took his hand in her right on and squeezed it slightly. “But what do you think about Jimin and Taehyung? I know you didn’t like them being here in the beginning.”
Immediately, she felt the hand to her left side tense up at her question. Jungkook didn’t seemed to be so fond of that question.
“I like Jimin.” Jin said without hesitation. “He is fun to hang out with. He helped me cooking a few times. But that other boy, Taehyung, I have barely seen him, and if he was grumpy. I think he is still scared.”
“I hate him.” Jungkook hissed, pulling his hand away, before he crossed his arms over his chest. “He is angry all the time and I don’t trust him. He growled at you, Hope. Jimin is okay, I guess. It was fun to play the PlayStation with him, but that doesn’t mean I trust him completely.”
The girl sighed at the bunny’s words. That was what she had been afraid of to hear.
“What about you, Hope?” Jin had obviously noticed her mood. “What do you think about them?”
“I – listen, I know that you are no sure about them, and especially not about Taehyung.” Her voice was slightly shaking, as she began to speak again. “But I know that they do have any bad intentions. I just think that Taehyung is scared and worried about Jimin. I want to be honest with you. Taehyung’s arm is healed soon – “
“Good.” Jungkook interrupted her, a slight smile on his face. “That means they will leave again, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it does.” The girl pulled her hands away and began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. “But – but I don’t want them to leave again.”
At the end, her voice was nothing more than a whisper, still afraid to say the wrong words.
“What?” The bunny’s eyes went wide when he hear her statement. “What do you mean, Hope? Do you want them to live her with us? This is – ”
“Jungkook.” Jin spoke in a warning voice now. “Let her finish.”
Jungkook looked at his brother for another few seconds, before he nodded and took the girl’s hand again.
“It just doesn’t feel right for to kick them out, when I swore to myself that I would protect any Hybrid with everything I have.” Hope was near to cry now. “We have enough room here, and I really like the both of them, even Taehyung. He is not like that all the time, he talked to me yesterday. He told me about how they fled form those cruel people and how scared he is. I won’t let them stay if you don’t want to. I respect your decisions. I felt like telling you about my concerns.”
She hadn’t noticed the tears that were now sliding down her cheeks. Why did she had to be so emotional about anything? Jungkook had noticed it too, and lifted his arm to carefully whip the we stains away with the sleeves of his shirt.
“To be honest – “ A small smile was playing on Jin’s mouth. “ – I already knew that you won’t want them to leave. Jungkook and I know what they are going through, and we were more than lucky that you found us. I am willing to show them that there is another life for them, so it’s fine with me if they stay with us.”
“Thank you, Jin.” The girl whispered, the tears were still spilling out of her eyes.
She bent over and wrapped her carefully around Jin’s broad shoulders. He had gain more weight lately, so he wasn’t just the thin, tall boy anymore.
Jungkook was still sitting there, eyes flickering between his brother and the girl. Hope could tell that he was having a huge battle inside his head, whether he should agree or stay with his opinion. He sighed, before sinking his head, ears dropping down next to his face.
“Kookie, what about we give them a chance.” The girl let go of Jin and was now sliding over to the bunny. “You don’t have to be best friends with Jimin and Taehyung, but we can try to get along.”
Jungkook’s big brown eyes were looking up at hers. His brown orbs held a lot of sadness, as he carefully nodded his head. Hope smiled widely, before giving his a tight hug from the side.
“But if he growls at you one more time at you, I won’t hesitate to kick his butt.”
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[taglist] ⇉ you know what to do!
[inspirations | recommendations]
@starlightauroras-main
@wishesunderthestars
@agustdakasuga
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kaile-hultner · 3 years
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Nihilism is so easy, which is why we need to kill it
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(I initially published this here a couple weeks ago.)
So last night it dawned on me that, after over two years of being relatively symptom-free, my depression snuck back up on me and has taken over. It’s still pretty mild in comparison to other times I’ve been stuck in the hole, but after 24 months (and more) of mostly being good to go, I can tell that it’s here for a hot minute again.
How do I know? Well, it might be the fact that I spent more time sleeping during my recent vacation from work than I did just about anything else, and how it’s suddenly really hard for me to stay awake during work hours. I don’t really have an appetite, and in fact nausea hits me frequently. I don’t really have any emotional reactions to things outside of tears, even when tears aren’t super appropriate to the situation (like watching someone play Outer Wilds for the first time). And I’ve been consuming a lot of apocalyptic media, to which the only response, emotional or otherwise, I can really muster is “dude same.”
For a long time I was huge into absurdist philosophy, because it felt to my depressed brain like just the right balance between straight up denying that things are bad (and thus we should fix them, or at least try to do so) and full-blown nihilism. This gives absurdism a lot of credit; mostly it’s just a loose set of spicy existentialist ideas and shit that sounds good on a sticker, like “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
In the last couple years, while outside of my depressive state, I went back to Camus’ work and found a lot of almost full-on abusive shit in it. Not toward anyone specifically, but shit like “nobody and nothing will care if you’re gone, so live out of spite of them all” rubs me the wrong way in retrospect. The philosophy Camus puts out opens the door for living in a very self-destructive fashion; that in fact the good life is living without care for yourself or anyone/anything else. The way Camus describes and derides suicide especially is grim as fuck, and certainly I would never recommend The Myth of Sisyphus to anyone currently struggling with ideation. That “perfect balance” between denial and nihilism is really not that perfect at all, and in fact skews much more heavily towards the latter.
Neon Genesis Evangelion has been a big albatross around my neck in terms of the media products I’ve consumed in my life that I believe have influenced my depression hardcore. It sits in a similar conversational space to Camus’ work, in that it confronts nihilism and at once rejects and facilitates it. A lot of folks remark that Evangelion is pretty unique – or at least uncommon – in its accurate portrayal of depression, especially for mid-90s anime properties. The thing I notice always seems to be missing in these discussions is that along with that accurate portrayal comes a spot-on – to me, at least – depiction of what depression does to resist being treated. This is a disease that uses a person’s rational faculties to suggest that nobody else could possibly understand their pain, and therefore there’s no use in getting better or moving forward. Shinji Ikari is as self-centered as Hideaki Anno is as I am when it comes to confronting the truth: there are paths out of this hole, but nobody else can take that step out but us, and part of our illness is that refusal to do just that. Depression lies, it provides a cold comfort to the sufferer, that there is no existence other than the one where we are in pain and there is no way out, so pull the blanket up over our head and go back to sleep.
Watching Evangelion for the first time corresponded with the onset of one of the worst depressive spirals I’ve ever been in, and so, much like the time I got a stomach virus at the same time that I ate Arby’s curly fries, I kind of can’t associate Evangelion with anything else. No matter what else it might signify, no matter what other meaning there is to derive from it, for me Eva is the Bad Feeling Anime™. Which is why, naturally, I had to binge all four of the Evangelion theatrical releases upon the release of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon A Time last month.
If Neon Genesis Evangelion and End of Evangelion are works produced by someone with untreated depression just fucking rawdogging existence, then the Eva movies are works produced by someone who has gone to therapy even just one fucking time. Whether that therapy is working or not is to be determined, but they have taken that step out of the hole and are able to believe that there is a possibility of living a depression-free life. The first 40 minutes or so of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 are perfect cinema to me. The world is destroyed but there is a way to bring it back. Restoration and existence is possible even when the surface of the planet might as well be the surface of the Moon. The only thing about this is, everyone has to be on board to help. Even though WILLE fired one of its special de-corefication devices into the ground to give the residents of Village 3 a chance at survival, the maintenance of this pocket ecosystem is actively their responsibility. There is no room or time for people who won’t actively contribute, won’t actively participate in making a better world from the ashes of the old.
There are a lot of essentialist claims and assumptions made by the film in this first act about how the body interacts with the social – the concept of disability itself just doesn’t seem to have made it into the ring of safety provided by Misato and the Wunder, which seems frankly wild to me, and women are almost singularly portrayed in traditionalist support roles while men are the doers and the fixers and the makers. I think it’s worth raising a skeptical eyebrow at this trad conservative “back to old ways” expression of the post-apocalypse wherever it comes up, just as it’s important to acknowledge where the movie pushes back on these themes, like when Toji (or possibly Kensuke) is telling Shinji that, despite all the hard work everyone is doing like farming and building, the village is far from self-sufficient and will likely always rely on provisions from the Wunder.
As idyllic as the setting is, it’s not the ideal. As Shinji emerges from his catatonia, Kensuke takes him around the village perimeter. It’s quiet, rural Japan as far as the eye can see, but everywhere there are contingencies; rationing means Kensuke can only catch one fish a week, all the entry points where flowing water comes into the radius of the de-corefication devices have to be checked for blockages because the water supply will run out. There is a looming possibility that the de-corefication machines could break or shut down at some point, and nobody knows what will happen when that happens. On the perimeter, lumbering, pilot-less and headless Eva units shuffle around; it is unknown whether they’re horrors endlessly biding their time or simply ghosts looking to reconnect to the ember of humanity on the other side of the wall. Survival is always an open question, and mutual aid is the expectation. Still: the apocalypse happened, and we’re still here. The question Village 3 answers is “what now?” We move on, we adapt.
Evangelion is still a work that does its level best to defy easy interpretation, but the modern version of the franchise has largely abandoned the nihilism that was at its core in the 90s version. It’s not just that Shinji no longer denies the world until the last possible second – it’s that he frequently actively reaches out and is frustrated by other people’s denials. He wants to connect, he wants to be social, but he’s also burdened with the idea that he’s only good to others if he’s useful, and he’s only useful if he pilots the Eva unit. This last movie separates him and what he is worth to others (and himself) from his agency in being an Eva pilot, finally. In doing so, he’s able to reconcile with nearly everyone in his life who he has harmed or who has hurt him, and create a world in which there is no Evangelion. While this ending is much more wishful thinking than one more grounded in the reality of the franchise – one that, say, focuses on the existence and possible flourishing of Village 3 and other settlements like it while keeping one eye on the precarious balancing act they’re all playing – it feels better than the ending of End of Eva, and even than the last two episodes of the original series.
I’m glad the nihilism in Evangelion is gone, for the most part. I’m glad that I didn’t spend roughly eight hours watching the Evamovies only to be met yet again with a message of “everything is pointless, fuck off and die.” Because I’ve been absorbing that sentiment a lot lately, from a lot of different sources, and it really just fuckin sucks to hear over and over again.
It is a truth we can’t easily ignore that the confluence of pandemic, climate change, authoritarian surge and capitalist decay has made shit miserable recently. But the spike in lamentations over the intractability of this mix of shit – the inevitability of our destruction, to put it in simpler terms – really is pissing me off. No one person is going to fix the world, that much is absolutely true, but if everyone just goes limp and decides to “123 not it” the apocalypse then everyone crying about how the world is fucked on Twitter will simply be adding to the opening bars of a self-fulfilling prophesy.
We can’t get in a mech to save the world but then, neither realistically could Shinji Ikari. What we can do looks a lot more like what’s being done in Village 3: people helping each other with limited resources wherever they can.
Last week, Hurricane Ida slammed into the Gulf Coast and churned there for hours – decimating Bayou communities in Louisiana and disrupting the supply chain extensively – before powering down and moving inland. Last night the powerful remnants of that storm tore through the Northeast, causing intense flooding. Areas not typically affected by hurricanes suddenly found themselves in a similar boat – pun not intended – to folks for whom hurricanes are simply a fact of life. There’s a once-in-a-millennium drought and heatwave ripping through the West Coast and hey – who can forget back in February when Oklahoma and Texas experienced -20 degree temperatures for several days in a row? All of this against the backdrop of a deadly and terrifying pandemic and worsening political climate. It’s genuinely scary! But there are things we can do.
First, if you’re in a weather disaster-prone area, get to know your local mutual aid organizations. Some of these groups might be official non-profits; one such group in the Louisiana area, for example, is Common Ground Relief. Check their social media accounts for updates on what to do and who needs help. If you’re not sure if there’s one in your area, check out groups like Mutual Aid Disaster Relief for that same information. Even if you’re not in a place that expects to see the immediate effects of climate change, you should still consider linking up with organizing groups in your area. Tenant unions, homeless organizations, safe injection sites and needle exchanges, immigrant rights groups, environmental activist orgs, reproductive health groups – all could use some help right now, in whatever capacity you might be able to provide it.
In none of these scenarios are we going to be the heroes of the story, and we shouldn’t view this kind of work in that way. But neither should we give into the nihilistic impulse to insist upon doing nothing, insist that inaction is the best course of action, and get back under the blankets for our final sleep. Kill that impulse in your head, and fuck, if you have to, simply just fucking wish for that better world. Then get out of bed and help make it happen.
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Vampire Master-Guide
First of all I want to start off by saying I've gathered inspiration from MANY vampire medias. Fictions, games. The biggest influences are Vampire the masquerade (primarily bloodlines) and Vampire Knight (manga). As well as honorable mentions to Vampyr (game), Queen of the Damned (movie) and Van Helsing (movie, anime). So if anything sounds familiar, chances are it is. I highly encourage you to explore them as they are a few of my favorites.
Second of all this is going to be massive, so I'll be putting it under a cut. But it will be a comprehensive guide to my personal vampire lore that I've crafted and worked with through the years. If you like it, feel free to use it! I'd absolutely love to be tagged (so I can shower the creations with praise) but it's not required. I'm just out here making one more version of vampires that hopefully inspires you. There will be a couple different categories that I will touch base on.
History (this part is super short)
Physicality - Medical Information
Physicality - Appearance/Body
Mental Effects
Society
Anything from my vampire lore will be tagged #vlor
Now follow me under the cut, lovelies. But please be Warned: We'll be discussing blood, violence, physical and mental illness. As well as regular vampire related things. If any of this could trigger you, please kindly skip this post because you're far more important to me!
'History'
The original vampire to walk the earth, cursed by the heavens was Caine. After committing the first murder, a blood-soaked punishment was to forever be banished to walk the darkness with a constant reminder of his crimes. Thirst. Craving for the same blood he shed against his own kin. The sin was carried through the years and he came upon another outcast kindred by the name of Lilith, cursed by God in a different way and hexed with powerful disciplines.
They bonded as kine and Lilith taught her chaos to Caine in hopes they'd rule together. In the end his nature stayed true and his now empowered wrath befalls Lilith, committing murder yet again and taking her life.
To feed upon and be fed, was a now animalistic instinct that spoke louder than supposed human nature ever could. And thus the curse spread. To anyone that drinks from the tainted or is bitten by a rabid, is surely to bear it at the final heartbeat. The path to redemption is sealed but survival is nearly infinite. So long as the beast is obeyed and satisfied, there is no constraint on lifespan. They will be damned to an eternity enslaved to thirst.
(Primarily from VTMB but I really like the idea of it being some sort of ancient curse from the gods so I thought I'd include this tiny historical bit. Onto the good stuff.)
Physicality - Medical Information
Vampires are anemic, let's just establish that all vampires are what modern day medicine would consider anemia. But they also have super aggressive red blood cells that function x100 that of human white blood cells. All in one combo of super cells. No illness spreads. No disease can contract, nothing can live in their system. They don't fall ill with colds or flu. STD's aren't feasible. Their systems are far too strong and combative to infections, bacteria.
Their integumentary systems regenerate about x200 - x300 times faster. Within seconds (if there is or has been fresh blood in the system recently) their skin regenerates and goes even beyond that. Mere hours and limbs grow back, bones realign.
Vampires don't have functioning organs. (If they are turned from humans they are there but they don't work and will eventually wither.) Hearts don't beat, lungs have no need for air.
Vampires can't drown. They don't breathe and even if water fills their lungs, they would be weighted down but not die. They also don't float like humans do naturally.
Vampires can go out in the sun but they have hard times with sun poisoning. Think of a sunburn but more like a rash. They can't process the vitamin D very well and almost all of them have trouble with getting severely burnt very rapidly or having a rash from the sun. Prolonged exposure can make them feverish, nauseated and give them body cramps and fatigue. Even longer can make them violently ill and can essentially melt their skin. It can be healed but takes longer.
Staking their hearts immobilizes them but does NOT kill them. They can be detained this way and it is excruciatingly painful. But it doesn't kill you.
Vampires can't eat food. Only few can consume liquids aside from blood. They have no ability to digest it and no longer make acid. They'll usually heave it up along with whatever blood content is left in their gut.
They have perfect eyesight, hearing, hyper senses of taste and smell. Touch is extremely sensitive as well. Their skin isn't fragile, in fact it's a bit thicker than average skin from how fast it regenerates and is constantly maintaining itself.
They are very resistant but not impossible to scar. Scars from human life are erased with first turning.
Vampire blood tastes like flat soda or icky, room temperature tap water. Unpleasant to other vampires but in a desperate pinch, it will sustain but nowhere near as good as foreign blood does. Even animal blood takes better care of a vampires system than another body of recycled blood. (Think of it as they've already taken the good stuff out of it for their own bodies so all that's left is the taste and a few stray nutrients.)
Vampires fangs grow back indefinite. At about x10 the rate of humans losing and replacing their first set. No matter what comes of them, their fangs will always grow back. No other teeth mutate like this.
Fangs lengthen and retract when around blood or not. It's not something that can be helped or even trained out. When blood is present, fangs will lengthen even if there is no intention to feed. Automatic reaction and a painful one at that. They get used to it but it's a sharp pain like having a human tooth extracted but it doesn't have prolonged swelling or discomfort. Only when getting longer or retracting back in.
Whenever they're in bloodlust or a state of starvation, they gain a sense of x-ray vision but instead it's vein mapping. They can see through skin to arteries and if it's severe blood lust, they can even see the smaller, tinier veins in fingers and faces. This is a sight that ever vampire possesses in order to obtain blood easier or figure out a good place to bite. Anything that is living will be seen in a structure of veins. Animals, humans, other vampires.
Severing the brain stem from the body is one of the few sure-fire way to kill a vampire. Alternatively burning them to pure ash and scattering them or holding them in separate vessels. (If ALL ashes are contained somehow and mixed with fresh blood, there is a reanimation process so beheading them is more permanent.) Silver weapons or exposure to silver prior to wound can result in death as well.
Alcohol is SUPER effective when they drink it. Think of one shot making them drunk because it hits their bloodstream almost immediately. A double would have them seeing double and acting like a hot mess. 3+ for even the beefiest of men would have them blacked out and vomiting on the sidewalks.
Drugs effect them but only in extremely high doses and for nothing really over 2 hours or so. Short, short longevity but they have the same crash that humans do. If it's hard detoxing symptoms for humans, it's the same but faster. They can do a hard drug, feel the high for maybe 1 - 2 hours and immediately go into hallucinating and shaking from the aftermath. The same goes for Pharmacia. There's really no medicine that works.
Garlic is a myth. So is wolfsbane.
Silver on the other hand is a very real, very deadly weapon that still rings true. A single pinprick of a silver sewing needle and it can render a vampire powerless. Slow them down to the speed of a human, take away their rapid healing and remove all of their heightened senses. Silver directly into the bloodstream essentially renders them as they were before they turned in physical response and structure. It's the only metal that burns vampires skin and will char it if it sits in one spot for too long. Silver is the only kind of metal that can forge chain that vampires cannot break and can successfully be restrained in. Any wounds inflicted in silver take longer to heal.
They can't reproduce after being turned. Purebloods + Purebloods are the only exception and it's still extremely rare. (Only 9 children born in over 2,500+ years.)
Physicality - Appearance/Body
Whatever color their eyes are, blood-lust accentuates the brightest color. I.e: Brown eyes turn Yellow/Gold, Blue eyes turn White/Purple exct. (Different powers can change this depending on the vampire and their history, sire.) Just think neon, glowing eyes in the dark if they're thirsty or hunting.
They stay frozen in whatever physical appearance they're turned in. Their metabolism is whack so they don't really lose or gain weight, it's down to cosmetic changes or cosmetic surgery. Which at least it heals flawlessly and doesn't ever change. But there aren't many options for personally invested physical change.
Their hair and nails grow super fast.
Vampires usually have the hair color they have when they are turned but around 15% experience graying or whitening of their hair within a few days of turning. Due to a semi-common genetic string in humans.
Vampires don't tan. They burn. No matter what their skin color is. Most are the palest/pasty tone of their natural skin color merely due to anemia and lack of blood circulation.
They don't blush or show physical signs of fever.
Vampires don't sweat or flush when exerting or exercising. They don't have to regulate their body temperatures.
They get dry skin pretty often and it's important to combat it with baths and soaks and lotions/oils whenever possible.
They are usually a lukewarm body temperature. As low as 15°C|59°F to as much as 21°C|69.8°F.
Every vampire has a certain amount of charming allure to them. In whatever form or fashion suits them the best, it's a natural attractant to their human counterparts. A glint to their eyes, a certain smile, the pitch or timbre of their voice. Endearing, seductive, mysterious, whichever shines through in their personality. They are magnetic, attractive to the human eye, no matter what they tend to look like.
They can see themselves in aluminum coated mirrors. Just not silver.
Mental Effects
There is a staggering 95% probability that 'created' vampires will have amnesia unless turned by a pureblood/noble/king/queen/high ranking blood vampire. They remember nothing of their human lives and this is extremely common. It's actually very rare to remember anything prior to your awakening. (That's why there are usually strict laws about siring without consent and proof of consent.)
It is very easy for vampires to be blinded by fits of rage when starving for blood. They can fly into blind anger and attack people they normally wouldn't or even foes they have no chance of winning against. Depending on their remaining strength when this tipping point of starvation happens; it can be extremely dangerous to be around.
Most turned vampires suffer a psychotic break in their early turning years. (Between 6mo and up to 25 years of awakening age. I.e: from the date of being bitten.) The brain is the last thing to be altered in the physical process and because of this, it's believed that their mental state has to crumble to be built better. It's unknown as to exactly why this happens but it's almost guaranteed. It's the vampire equivalent of 'adolescence'.
Over 75% of vampires experience periodic depression and random bouts of sadness. Another 39% live with bouts of mild to moderate psychosis. (This has been suspected to happen because of the physical stasis and improper circulation of chemicals/hormones/exct. Many believe it's because of the guilt of their King, Caine.)
Mental illnesses that aren't born from physical imbalances are in cases of amnesia, cured. Those that are chemically related are usually worsened by the stagnant physical changes of vampirism. It's rare that those with amnesia remember their traumas or emotional upsets after turning.
The "amnesia" of turning is the death of a human psyche. With the staggering rate of permanent amnesia, it is hard to figure out exactly how it happens but it's widely known.
Society
Humans are not fully aware of vampires. This still rings true with the fear of world war and or wiping out the human race given their species.
There is a high society "government" type of monarchy. Each clan or type of vampires has a leader "elder". This is usually the oldest vampire to date of that specific type. Sometimes it's a group or a family of elders. In most modern day they have adapted to a more "presidential" route and have to establish themselves as leader types to be considered for any kind of law making or enforcement. (I.e: Noble bloodline, diligent efforts of servitude such as public service, military or other.)
There is a strict law against turning humans. Vampires are required to have clearly given consent and the process is to be looked over by an elder or enforcer. They must show strenuous documentation of that persons preservation in the name of probable amnesia. They must have a comprehensive processing of that persons interests, personality traits, societal standing, proof of occupational termination, familial status and situational agreement. (Basically they don't want humans forgetting their lives entirely and they want to make sure that they are able to move somewhere or hide from their families until they're well trained enough to be around them again. It's a very long to legally accomplish it.
Every city handles turning differently. Some require the sire to pay the death penalty and others are strictly against killing the one person responsible of their turned kindred.
Vampires are in every day jobs, doing anything and everything that humans do. From trash collecting, to law and doctors. Fame, fortune, poor, criminal; they all live as many walks of life as humans do.
Anti-vampire establishments are alive and well. Most are run by other vampires. Some humans share their beliefs but most typically it's a resounding amount of vampire extremists. This is legal due to the fact that they try to adhere and coexist for their sanctions ordinance. Helping enforce justice for their regions and implore an opposing force for rampaging vampires or other law breaking kindred.
Most human killings are covered up, tampered with or has someone on the inside working on doing both. It's a constant job but a needed one to keep their existence safe from being proven.
There is a massive shortage on vampire doctors serving other vampires or studying from what little information there is on vampirism. The ratio looking like 1 to 300. 1 doctor for every 300 vampires.
The most vampire dominated and lucrative occupations are generally law, publishing and sex working. There are 3 vampires with these jobs to every human worker.
Here is an additional post about how vampire blood would effect humans.
So that was everything I could think of for the time being. I may continue to edit and update this as I have time or I think of something that I haven't touched base on yet. But this is just the general lore I work with when I do write about vampires or when I think about them in general. Feel free to skip certain parts or like.. adapt it however you'd like. I made this to more so inspire people not to show a list of HOW things should go. Take of it what you like and ignore what you don't! Add more if you think of something!
Some of it gets a bit random but it's still things that I've either incorporated in some unpublished fics or talked about with some friends or just fantasized about in general. There's bits and pieces in all media for vampires that I really enjoy and I think every new style spins something different and makes for wonderful content!
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gerrycoco · 3 years
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Here are chapter 4 and 5 of the TOL fanfic I’m writing based on @nwarrior777 comic. I’d been meaning to post chapter 4 a while back but hadn’t been sure where my cut off was between these two chapters until I finished them today. 
Hope you enjoy and more should be coming soon hopefully! 
You can also read this fic on ao3
Chapter 4 
The weeks ticked away slowly but surely at the Academy, summer turning into fall and steadily veering into winter. I continued to have the best of fun with Tamara doing all sorts of shenanigans.
With the end of October came Halloween where she snuck us out to go trick or treating when Halloween came around. As we finished up grabbing as much candy as we could, I only half noticed how cold the weather was becoming.
A few weeks later there came the first snowfall, which everyone was super excited about. After a particularly big snowfall most of the residents of the Academy, myself and Tamara included, found ourselves in the outdoor courtyard making snowmen.
Given my nature of not being very good at anything, my own attempts at making a snowman were quite subpar. I could see others not far away snickering among themselves, probably whispering about how ironic it was that someone with ice powers was so bad at stuff involving snow.
I was rather preoccupied by my increasing discomfort at being in the cold to really notice them. Tamara, however, glared in their direction as she joined me after reappearing from having gone to get some extra accessories for our snowmen. "Don't listen to them, Demian," she said, "this isn't a competition or anything, the whole point is just to have fun."
"Yeah I know," I replied, trying to blow on my hands to get them warmer, which only made things worse as with my powers all I did was blow frost over my fingers. It was then that I realized that I didn't have to go about making a snowman the old fashion way. Stretching my hands out in front of me me I tried summoning the snow around me to form into a shape.
"Demian maybe that isn't a good idea," Tamara said, her voice filled with concern, "the doctors told you to be careful about how long you spend in the snow and you already look really cold. I think we should go back inside."
"Hang on, just give me a minute," I managed to reply despite my teeth chattering loudly due to how cold I was. A small crowd of others had come by to watch curiously and I was not about to give them another reason to tease me. Within moments I'd accumulated a pile of snow that I was twisting and bending with frost from my own hands. I’d stopped shivering by then so I ignored how painfully cold I was feeling and concentrated to finish what I was doing.
Soon I had made a full sized snowman, but this time shaped like an actual human. "Tada," I said, with difficulty, now that my whole face felt frozen, "say hello to snow Tamara!" The others all gasped as they came closer to inspect the near perfect snow and ice replica of my friend.
Tamara herself however looked at me, a very stern expression on her face as she grabbed my hand and teleported us inside. Once she was done she dropped my hand and glared at me, looking quite mad. "What were you thinking?! That was dangerous!" she exclaimed loudly.
"What do you mean?" I meant to ask, surprised by how angry she looked. I never got the chance to do so though as everything suddenly went dark.
***********************************************
"You got him here just in time so thankfully he's going to be alright," I heard an unknown voice say.
I groaned as I tried to stir, finding that my whole body was tingling from the sensation of me slowly defrosting. With difficulty I managed to open my eyes, to see that I was in the back room of the infirmary.
"What, what happened?" I asked, the words slightly slurred as my mouth and tongue still hadn't regained full sensation.
"You did something really stupid is what happened," Tamara spat out, angrily wiping tears from her eyes. She then ran out of the room, leaving me alone with who I now saw was a nurse.
“Tamara wait!” I called out. I tried to sit up so I could go after her but realized I was still too numb to do so.
“Woah take it easy there,” the nurse said, putting a hand on my shoulder to prevent me from trying again. “You need to stay lying down for a while longer, your body likely can’t tolerate going into an upright position just yet,” he explained to me. “Right now you need to rest. The doctor should be here shortly to check up on you to make sure you’re doing alright.”
I sighed unhappily but nodded in resignation. The image of Tamara’s face was burnt into my mind as I replayed the scene again over and over again. She had looked so scared and hurt, I felt terrible for putting her through what I imagined was a rather frightening experience.
My wallowing was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor, who I saw was the same I had met when first arriving at the Academy. “We meet again young man,” he said, though he clearly was far from delighted to be seeing me at the present. “That was a very foolish thing you did back there.”
“Yeah I know…” I replied, feeling the guilt weigh on my chest. Added to the fact that I fail at basically everything, I’ve also never exactly been known for being a particularly smart person. Even back at home, my family would usually avoid leaving me alone for extended periods of time.
“It’s a good thing your friend was there and that she was able to teleport you back inside when she did,” the doctor went on, his brows creasing into a concerned frown. He looked over at the monitor I’d been hooked up to and then picked up the chart on my bedside to examine it as well. “Thankfully you hadn’t gone far beyond moderate hypothermia and so your loss of consciousness was likely a form of rewarming shock.”
“I… I didn’t realize it had gotten that bad..” I said, feeling quite scared myself now that the reality of what had just happened was sinking in. “I wasn’t even shivering at the end.”
“Well that’s because shivering is only associated with the milder forms of hypothermia,” the doctor explained, putting the chart down and pulling out a small flashlight from his pocket. He then proceeded to point it in front of each eye and had me follow the beam with my gaze. “We already knew that you would be more sensitive to cold, but it appears now that because of your powers you’ve gone from warm blooded to cold blooded, no pun intended.”
“You mean, like a lizard?” I asked, my brain feeling a bit fuzzy as I tried to process what the doctor was telling me while spots danced in my vision from having the flashlight directed at my eyes.
“Yes precisely, or almost anyway,” the doctor replied, “cold-blooded creatures can’t internally cool themselves off while you have no problem with that. However, like them, you appear to have difficulty with generating sufficient body heat without some external help, which would explain why you progressed so quickly into an increasing hypothermic state.”
I simply blinked at him in response, his sciency explanations were too much for my thawing brain to understand. He appeared to see the look of overall confusion in my eyes and he gave me a small half-smile as he put the flashlight away in his pocket.
“The point is,” he went on, “from now on you will have to take extra special care to make sure you only spend short periods of time in cold environments.”
********************************************* I took the doctor’s word very seriously once I was allowed to leave the infirmary. Not only did I completely avoid going outside, I also made sure to always have an extra warm sweater as well as a hoodie wherever I went. While it might have been overkill, I didn’t want to risk anything happening again.
Mostly I kept to myself as the others gave me looks whenever I was in the common areas or the cafeteria. They had either been there to see me almost freeze to death or had heard about it as gossip spread rapidly around the Academy. I therefore spent the next few days in my room waiting for something new to happen so they wouldn’t be focused on me anymore. Time passed slowly though as I spent it alone seeing Tamara and I hadn’t spoken since the incident.
While normally she was constantly popping into my room to hang out, almost a week went by without me seeing her at all. She had obviously been very upset by my actions and I figured she was still mad at me about it. I really wanted to go and apologize, but, because of her teleportation powers, Tamara was very good at making sure she wasn’t able to be found if she didn’t want to be.
After a few days I decided it had gone on for long enough and decided to park myself outside her room. I figured if I stayed there at one point she’d have no choice but to talk to me. There was always the risk of her teleporting in and out of her room without ever having to use the door, but Tamara could usually only teleport so many times in a day before it started draining her too much and she risked ending up in the wrong place.
I decided then to go and wait outside her bedroom door after dinner time since she was more likely to be tired then and therefore less likely to use her powers to disappear on me. I’d been sitting there for a while, just scrolling on my phone as I waited, when I finally saw her walking down the hallway towards her room. She hadn’t noticed me yet, her head bent and gaze stuck around her shoes, looking about as miserable as I had been feeling.
“Tamara!” I called out, popping her out of her thoughts as her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. At this point she was about ten steps away from her door and I could see in her eyes that she was weighing whether it was worth it to try teleporting past me.
I stood up quickly and walked the distance between us, putting my hand on her arm. “Tamara, please,” I pleaded, “can we talk? I’d really like to apologize…”
She grimaced for a moment then let out a sigh. “Fine,” she replied, removing my hand and going to her bedroom door. I followed closely as she opened it, hoping that she wouldn’t dash in just to slam the door in my face. Instead she held the door open and gestured for me to come inside.
I went and sat down on the chair by the desk while Tamara shut the door before going to sit on the end of her bed. She glanced quickly in my direction before looking away and crossing her arms, visibly still quite upset with me.
I’d spent the time waiting outside her room going through how best to apologize to her, but in that moment all scenarios vanished from my mind as we sat in silence while I tried to figure out the best way to start. “So… I guess I’ll just start off by saying that I’m aware that what I did was really stupid and dangerous and I’m sorry for doing that to you…”
Tamara was silent for a beat before turning to look at me. “What were you even thinking doing that?” she interrogated. “Even without using your powers you’re more at risk when it’s cold, but with what you did you just made it 10 times worse! So what, you just couldn’t help but show off, right?”
I stared at her, surprised for a moment. It hadn’t occurred to me that by using my powers I’d put myself in even greater danger, although thinking about it now it did make sense. “No I wasn’t trying to show off, at least I don’t think so…” I replied, feeling quite uneasy. “I was failing at making a snowman the normal way just like I fail with everything else and then I remembered I have ice powers so, like, why not use the one thing I’m good at that’s actually relevant to the situation for once.”
“You’re telling me you made a snow person that looked just like me and it wasn’t just so you could look good in front of the others after they had made fun of you?” Tamara retorted, looking rather skeptical.
“I mean, maybe a tiny bit,” I admitted, “but mostly I did it because I thought it would make you smile. You’re always doing nice things for me so I just wanted to be able to do something nice for you too for once.”
“R-really?” Tamara asked, her tone now very different.
“Yeah, I just thought it would be funny for you to have a snow twin,” I said, letting out a nervous chuckle.
At this Tamara finally gave me a small smile before it fell away and she suddenly looked quite sad. “I guess I thought you had ignored my warning because you were too busy trying to impress the others. And maybe deep down a part of me was also scared that if it worked you were going to find new friends and wouldn’t want to hang out with me anymore…”
“What? Tamara no of course not…” I replied, getting up from the chair and going to sit down next to her on the bed. “You’re my best friend Tamara, you’re my only friend really. You’re also the reason nothing worse happened since you pretty much saved my life by teleporting us back inside when you did.”
“Damn right I did,” Tamara retorted with a smirk. “I hope you learned your lesson because I might not always be there to save your butt.”
“Oh don’t worry, I don’t plan on making the same mistake again,” I laughed. Tamara gave me a real smile this time and leaned over to hug me tightly.
“Okay enough talk about snow and ice now, how about we go get some hot cocoa?” I suggested.
“Good idea,” Tamara replied before teleporting us out of her room.
Chapter 5 
While I was quite happy to be hanging out with Tamara once again, our time together afterwards was somewhat short lived. Her one year at the Academy was coming to an end and shortly before Christmas she returned home to her family. Thankfully, during the holidays, the Academy made special allowances where they hosted an annual Christmas party and other fun events for family and friends. With this I was kept well occupied up until New Years after which things went back to normal, leaving me to find myself mostly alone once again.
I was able to see my family during visiting weeks of course, but I still wasn’t having much luck in finding any other friends now that Tamara was gone. No one really cared about me when I wasn’t using my powers and ever since my last incident I’d basically decided against doing anything ice related unless it was actually useful, which in the dead of winter it really wasn’t.  
Although my own one year milestone was still a good few months away, I figured I could start looking at different job possibilities to look forward to once I was able to return home. It was better than dying of boredom in the meantime. After all, the Academy had a department set up for the exact purpose of counseling and preparing those who wished to find themselves jobs once their time was up.
This didn’t end up being the most successful endeavor however. While the counselors were very nice and tried to look at different options with me, they had a hard time finding anything that would be a good fit. I’m not sure what I was expecting really, since by being not so great at basically everything I didn’t exactly have very many employable skills. The other issue is that usually the main solution is to try to find something that works with a person’s specific powers. In my case though, this didn’t pan out much since all the actual real jobs that would hire someone with ice powers involved working in very cold environments, and I was not going to make that same mistake twice.
“Unfortunately the only other option I can find is volunteer work,” Lenny, the counselor who had been assigned my case, informed me. “That means you wouldn’t be paid, but it would still be something if ever you’re interested.”
I left the employment center feeling quite disappointed as I headed towards the cafeteria. It was family visiting day and my mom would be arriving soon. Multiple parents and other family members had already started arriving as I entered the cafeteria and sat down at a table while I waited. A few minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Hi mom,” I said, doing my best to smile as I turned to hug her before she sat down next to me.
“What’s wrong honey?” my mom asked directly. “Something is up, I can tell.”
I blinked with surprise at this. I’d forgotten how perceptive my mom could be. “I… well…” I started, going on to explain to her my less than promising visit with the employment department. “So I might not be able to get an actual job once I’m done here…” I added, looking down at my hands, blinking my eyes madly as I tried not to cry.  
“I see,” my mother replied. She reached over to take one of my hands in her own and gave it a tight squeeze. I looked up at her to see her smiling warmly at me. “Demian, just remember that no matter what happens, whether you manage to find a job or not, you will always have a place at home waiting for you,” she said tenderly as her free hand went to wipe away a tear that had slid down my cheek.
I gave her a watery smile as I leaned in to hug her tightly. “Thank you mom, I love you,” I said, sniffling softly.
“I love you too sweetheart,” my mother replied, hugging me back just as tightly. “Always have and always will.
****************************************
After the visit with my mother I felt somewhat better about my future beyond the Academy. Though I still didn’t exactly know how I would ever manage to find a job, I also knew that I couldn’t give up trying.
My mood was also greatly improved by Tamara’s sudden and unexpected return to the Academy mid February. She’d had an unfortunate mishap with her powers, although she hadn’t really wanted to talk about it much upon her return. Bottom line was that she needed to be monitored at the Academy for another year now because of it. While I found that extremely unfortunate for her, I was also, rather selfishly, quite happy to have her back around.
It was only about a month later that she was finally willing to explain to me what had happened. Apparently when she had gone back home she had bumped into a former partner she had been dating not long before she had arrived at the Academy. They stayed in contact for the first little while after she had discovered her powers, however the long distance slowly became a strain on their relationship.
“At that point we agreed it was best to take a break and reconnect once I was able to go back home after my year was up,” Tamara explained to me.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?” I asked, feeling surprised and almost a bit hurt that I’d never heard about this before.
“I guess I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high just in case it didn’t work out,” she replied. “In the end that’s what happened because when I finally saw them again they were dating someone else…”
“Oh Tamara… I’m so sorry…” I said, gently putting my hand on her shoulder.
“It’s okay,” she said, though she had a sad look in her eye. “It was for the best really, I don’t think we would’ve lasted very long in the end. But this happened on Valentine's Day of all days so needless to say I wasn’t feeling great after that. After seeing them together with their new partner I almost ran home, trying not to cry. I tried to teleport back but instead of my room I somehow ended up on Mars.”
“Mars?! You mean, like the planet?” I asked, shocked and confused.
“Yep,” Tamara replied. “Luckily I quickly teleported back to Earth, first in Antarctica and then at the top of the Eiffel Tower. It took a few tries but I finally made it home before coming back here and begging them to put me on blockators. I felt like I was going insane.”
“Wow that’s crazy,” I said, not sure what else to say at this point.
“Yeah…” Tamara acquiesced, her gaze downcast. “I’ve never really been lucky with dating anyway so I guess it’s not really all that surprising. I am a bit much after all and I’m not really dating material…”
“Absolutely not!” I protested, offended that my friend could think so low of herself. “You are funny and adorable and super thoughtful and anyone would be lucky to date you!” I exclaimed, tapping the table with insistence with every new point I added.
Tamara laughed at my display, most of the sadness now gone from her eyes. “Thank you, I really needed that,” she giggled. “But that makes me think, what about you? I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned anything about dating either.”
“Oh,” I replied meekly, now that I was being put on the spot. “I haven’t ever really dated to be honest…”
“Really? Like you’ve never had a girlfriend… or a boyfriend?” Tamara asked, leaving the door open for me to fill in the blank.
I could feel myself blushing at this, feeling a bit embarrassed about the topic. “I, uh… I guess I’m not totally sure where I stand in terms of sexuality… it’s never felt super clear for me and I haven’t really had the chance to figure it out for myself quite yet.”
“That’s okay then,” Tamara said, smiling kindly. “There’s no rush for you to find an answer or anything. And if ever you do figure it out and feel like dating whoever it is will also be lucky to be with someone like you.”
“Thanks Tamara,” I said, smiling back at her.
“Just for the record, you’re great and everything, but you’re not my type dude,” Tamara stated matter of factly. We looked at each other seriously for a moment before both bursting into laughter so hard we were in tears.
**************************** Before I knew it there was only one month left before I was to leave the Academy. Poor Lenny was still doing his best to try and find me a job but unless I miraculously developed an actual useful workskill there was only so much he could do.
Of course I was allowed to stay on at the Academy once my time was up in order to volunteer and help with the newcomers. I would be allowed to room and board there by doing so but it wasn’t an actual job or anything and that wasn’t something that actually paid. Because of the laws and regulations put in place for awakened, there needed to remain a place for them to stay if they weren’t able to return to society for one reason or another. To avoid people taking advantage of that and using it as an easy way out to not have to work, the Academy stipulated that they would not pay permanent/long term residents. Instead it was a barter type system where those who wished to stay had to contribute in some form or fashion according to their powers or abilities.
Some people, both within and outside the Academy, still saw it as a lazy option while others saw it as the epitome of despair. I thought both those views were rather extreme and unfair. However, I also didn’t want to stay at the Academy forever. I wasn’t ready to believe that there was truly nothing out there for me, not yet at least. The only thing that made me feel better was knowing that Tamara was also still going to be around for a good few more months even if I did wind up having to stay at the Academy for longer.
There was also the option of going back home to my parents for a while before coming back to stay at the Academy. That way I could stay with them for a bit and then move back into the Academy the next time I would be coming in for my regular post one year check in to make sure my powers were still stable. As time went on I figured I would go with that option since I hadn't gone home in nearly a year and had mainly seen my parents during visits. That way I would get to spend some time with the rest of my family but also come back to be with Tamara for the time she had left at the Academy.
I was starting to pack my stuff when I heard an unexpected knock at my door. I was confused as to who it could be, since Tamara usually just let herself in at this point. Putting down the shirt I’d been trying to fold I went to open the door, surprised to see Lenny standing there. “Lenny, what are you doing here?”
“Hi Demian,” Lenny greeted me, “I know you’ve been planning on going home soon but I have some interesting news for you that might just change your mind…”
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master-sass-blast · 3 years
Text
Children of the Gods: Part Three, Chapter Two.
I had to input every single italic you see in this fic by hand because Tumblr doesn’t hold text format when I paste it innnnnn. *pained smile*
Please give this chapter some love, because that was fucking painful to do.
Summary: The aftermath of capturing Allison proves messy -both in dealing with the teen's evident trauma, and in all the skeletons in various closets that get unleashed soon after.
Pairing(s): Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, Frank Castle x Karen Page, and Alexandra Rasputin x Nikolai Rasputin.
Rating: M for gun violence, depictions of death and injuries, depictions of emotional trauma, and gratuitous use of the word “fuck.”
Word count: 8.9k.
Set after “Children of the Gods: Part Three, Chapter One.”
Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @super-darkcloudstudent, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @leo-writer, @emma-frxst, @sadstone-s
“What the hell were you thinking!”
“Ooh, careful there, Doohan,” Wade snarks, head rolling to indicate he’s rolling his eyes. “Get any more agitated and you’ll be saying all the no-no words.”
Scott scowls at Wade. “Stuff it, Wilson.”
“Every damn night, laser pointer.”
A mixture of grimaces, sighs, and groans go up through the crowd.
You’re all gathered in the medical wing of Xavier’s –the X-Force and nearly all of the X-Men. Allison’s off being examined by Dr. McCoy and Alyssa –to make sure she’s stable enough to be taken out of the handcuffs and the suppression band—and Frank and Karen are sequestered in a separate room until it's clear how everything's going to shake out.
Because, naturally, there’s been a wrench thrown in the situation.
Or maybe the whole damn toolbox, you mentally amend as Wade and Scott resume arguing.
“We cannot harbor a mob criminal here—”
“She’s thirteen, Summers!” Wade snaps. The eyes on his mask narrow into slits. “She’s not a criminal –and her parents’ choice don’t automatically make her guilty!”
“Murder, illegal theft and possession of firearms, assault, stalking, kidnapping,” Scott starts listing, ticking off each of Allison’s misdeeds on his fingers.
“She lost her family,” Nathan interjects, voice going to gravel. “Where the fuck were all of you when she needed support? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”
The room goes silent. Many of the X-Men members look away or hang their heads slightly.
“We had no way of knowing that Allison was a mutant,” Ororo speaks up. “Without the proper information, we can’t help. It’s unfortunate, yes, but out of our control all the same.”
“But you know now,” Wade argues. “You knew with Russell. You knew with all the kids at Essex house. You turned your back on him and those kids, just like you’re turning your back on Allison now.” He scoffs, disgusted. “Same shit, different day. You’re all a bunch of cowardly cocksuckers.”
“We do have limits,” Professor Xavier speaks up from his chair. “Russell and the other members of Essex house were considered wards of the state. Legally, that meant Essex house had custody of them until they turned eighteen. We wrote petitions. We did as much as we could to bring attention to the issue. Unfortunately, it got swept under the rug or stonewalled by anti-mutant members of the legal system. As for Allison…” He sighs. “Taking in wards with criminal connections put the school at risk. Not just for fear of retaliation –as would certainly be a risk with Miss Ricci’s connections to the mafia—but also our funding and licensing. As an orphaned mutant, she is certainly deserving of our help—” he pauses to glare sternly at Scott and a few of the more stubborn, self-righteous members present “—but we have to consider the needs of our other residents and students, too.”
“I think we’re overlooking that Allison is here right now,” Jean pipes up. “Whether or not she stays with us is one thing, but we need to decide what to do for at least the next forty-eight hours.”
“She stays here,” you say automatically. “As far as we know, she has no other guardians, potentially even nowhere to go. I don’t think it’s gonna kill us to give her a bed and some food to eat.”
“Absolutely not,” Scott fires back –and, behind him, Angel and Iceman nod. “She’s far too aggressive to possibly put the students at risk.”
“She’s agitated and traumatized,” you reason, “but that doesn’t mean she’s going to lash out at people left and right.”
“Doesn’t she have a guardian of sorts?” Neena pipes up. “Artemis? Has anyone gotten ahold of them?”
“We reached out with the number Miss Ricci gave us,” Xavier explains. “The call picked up, but there wasn’t any verbal response for the duration of the call.”
Well, that bodes well. “What about her attorney?” you ask. “If we can’t keep her here, wouldn’t her attorney be able to arrange some sort of safe place for her to stay.”
“Thus far, we haven’t been able to reach her attorney.”
And that bodes even worse. You fight the urge to sigh or roll your eyes, and instead mentally curse monkey wrenches and whoever thought to invent the damn things.
“For the time being, I’ve contacted some of our external resources” –the glance Xavier shoots at both you and Piotr tells you that it’s your uncle and Alexandra—“to help with matters until the dust settles. They should be arriving soon, so—”
There’s a loud crash from down the hall, the sound of glass shattering, and an angry screech that sounds suspiciously like, “Fuck you, Castle!”
You give into the urge to sigh before booking it towards the sound of chaos and rage. Great. Now it’s an entire toolshed.
***
Subduing Allison this time, at least, is easier for several reasons.
First, she’s still wearing the repression cuff on her wrist. Without her powers –without a way to pop in and out of this existence, specifically—she’s much easier to catch.
Second, she’s tired. It’s not just the bags under her eyes or the sweat glistening at her furrowed brow. She’s stumbling unevenly, panting as she tries to exact her revenge.
Third, Illyana happens to show up at the exact same time with your uncle and Alexandra (and Nikolai as well, though he has less involvement in the “subduing process”).
Alex reacts fastest. She hooks one strong arm around Allison’s waist, then scoops her away from Karen and a hangdog-looking Frank. “Alright, that’s enough.”
Allison, however, doesn’t seem to agree. (Though whether it’s due to general teenage contrariness or trauma-induced rage, the jury’s still out.
…Actually, it’s probably both.)
“You don’t even get it, Castle!” Allison snaps with a manic grin, eyes wide and haunted. “You killed a good man. My dad was getting out! He was going to testify against them—”
Alex clamps a hand over the teen’s mouth, making her cut herself off with a garbled grunt. “I said enough.”
Allison thrashes in the older woman’s iron-clad grasp –to no avail, unsurprisingly. Her face scrunches up, then her jaw starts flexing. There’s a moment where her expression goes slack when Alex doesn’t react, then her nose scrunches up again and her jaw starts working harder.
Alex sighs, then starts carrying Allison back down the hall (she’s astonishingly unfazed by been chomped down on). “Come on. Let’s get you calmed down, malen’kiy.”
At the other end of the hall, Neena pokes her head into the fray. “Someone who calls herself Artemis is at the front door.”
Professor Xavier nods, then says, “Please escort her back to Miss Ricci’s room,” before wheeling after Alex and Artemis.
You look between Neena and the Professor –then, in the interest of going where you’re actually allowed to be (and not being bored out of your mind because you’ll be literally shut out of the room), you head towards the foyer.
“Do you think Frank was set up to stop the trial?”
Your uncle shrugs; the two of you have taken up a spot at the back of the room, where you can watch things unfold and gossip like the two old ladies you are in spirit. “It’s possible. It’s also possible that it was retribution for Allison being a mutant. The Ricci syndicate is notoriously… intolerant.”
You grimace. You certainly understand just how far people will go against their own flesh and blood for intolerance’s sake. “Blood and water.”
Your uncle nods, expression equally sour. “You fucking said it, punk.”
There’s not much point in hashing it out any further –both from the standpoint of “forbidden knowledge” and digging up old trauma—so you settle back into watching Artemis go through the mandatory security check.
She’s tall, with broad shoulders. Her hair’s dark, just starting to streak with silver at the temples, and her eyes are deep, intense, borderline black color. Her nose is slightly crooked –comes with the territory in this walk of life—and she’s dressed in black motorcycle wear and combat boots.
She honestly looks so fucking familiar.
You frown, brows pinching together as you try and place her face in your memory. Failing your own abilities at recollection, you lean over and whisper, “Is she one of your team members? I swear I’ve seen her before.”
“Uh –no,” your uncle replies (and it’s too fast and shaky, but you’re too caught up in figuring out whom the fuck you’re looking at to notice). “I mean –everyone has a doppelganger, right?”
“I guess.” You squint at Artemis, as though physically narrowing your eyes will help your brain puzzle things out—
And then Alex strides into the foyer –wiping the hand that Allison bit, and if you look close enough you’re pretty sure you can still see a few bloody teeth marks—and the cloud of confusion lifts from your mind.
“Oh!” you gasp quietly. “That’s why she looks familiar! She looks like Alex.” You look from the Rasputin matriarch, to the other black-leather clad woman, then back again. “She looks… a lot like Alex, actually.” You laugh softly –coincidence is a hell of a thing—then keep rambling when your uncle doesn’t say anything. “Two women who love the color black and carry enough weapons on their person to stock an army. You’d think the universe broke the mold with Alex, huh?”
Your uncle shifts from foot to foot next to you, but says nothing.
“You really weren’t kidding about the whole ‘doppelganger’ thing, huh.” You cock your head to one side, then frown as another epiphany starts growing in your mind. “Actually… she kind of looks like you, too.”
Your uncle makes a quiet, pained choking noise. “Punk—”
“Yeah, she’s got more of your build…”
“Punk.”
“And her lower lip has that weird lopsided curve like yours—”
“Punk—”
You peer closer at Artemis’s face. “Actually, her nose looks like you took yours and Alex’s and mashed them together—”
“Punk.”
You finally look up at him and take in the pale, wide-eyed, tight-lipped expression on his face. “What?” When he doesn’t say anything, you look at Artemis, then Alex, and then back at him—
Oh God.
Oh God.
Holy fucking shit.
You stare up at your uncle, agape. “Wait a second –you and—”
“Okay, shut the fuck up!” he hisses, panicked, before dragging you out of the foyer and into the nearest hallway.
“You and Alex had a baby,” you blurt –albeit in a voice no louder than a harsh whisper. “Artemis is your and her lovechild!”
He winces, then holds up his hands. “I can explain—”
“I don’t think you can!” you hiss. “Why didn’t you tell me that I have a cousin who happens to be my husband’s half fucking sister! Oh God, does Piotr know? Do any of the Rasputins know?”
“I…” He trails off, then cringes. He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not sure, actually.”
You stare up at him, dumbfounded. “You’re not sure. How are you not sure? Nick knows who you are –what, you think Alex just kept a whole child from his knowledge—”
“I mean, he probably knows that there was a baby at one point—”
“The baby is in this fucking house!” you snap in a quiet growl, arms flailing wildly. “She’s a full grown adult who probably pays taxes and has a 401k going! Why wouldn’t Alex tell her husband—”
“Look,” your uncle interjects, cutting you off. “As far as Alex knows… she thinks she’s… dead?”
You gape. Then, as quietly as you can manage (given the circumstances), you exclaim, “What the fuck!”
“Keep your voice down!” your uncle hisses, gesturing wildly in panic. He looks over his shoulder, then when he’s certain no one overheard you, he sighs and looks back to you. “Look, it’s a long story—”
“I’m sure it fucking is!” You cross your arms over your chest when he winces. “How is it that you know your secret lovechild is alive, but Alex doesn’t? What, did she just abandon her?”
“No, no—”
“Didn’t think so. So what the fuck happened?”
He sighs, shoulder slumping, and runs one hand through his already disheveled hair. “Look –long story short, the people who ‘made’ Alex took the baby—”
“Artemis. Her daughter. Your daughter.”
He purses his lips, but concedes with a nod. “They took her away after she was born and told Alex she was dead –and that’s actually what prompted her to get out, but that’s another story for another day—”
“Okay, hang on a second.” You squeeze your eyes shut and hold up one hand. “Alex thinks her baby is dead –probably one of the most traumatic things in her whole life. You’ve known that she’s alive…” You open your eyes again and fix your uncle with a stern stare. “Okay, how long have you known for?”
He grimaces and shifts uncomfortably. “…well, the US took her, but she didn’t present early, so they turned her loose into the foster system because she didn’t have potential as an ‘asset’—”
“How fucking long?”
He ducks his head, carefully avoiding your gaze. “…tracked her down when she was ten.”
Your eyes widen –and then you slug him in the shoulder. “You fucking colossal asshole!”
He panics again, motioning for you to keep it down while checking over his shoulder. “Shut the fuck up!”
“No! Not only have you lied to Alex for decades—”
“She never asked—”
“A lie by omission is still a fucking lie!” you snap in a gravelly whisper. “So, not only did you lie to her, but you also abandoned your daughter to the mercies of the US foster care system!”
“My life wasn’t safe to keep a kid around!” he hisses back at you. “I couldn’t take care of you, and I couldn’t take care of her! If anything, it was safer for her if the government thought I didn’t know she was alive!”
You sigh, pinch the bridge of your nose, and wave dismissively with your other hand. “Okay –fine. That still doesn’t justify the whole lying thing, but whatever. Does Artemis know that you and Alex are her parents?”
“…Yes. She tracked me down when she was in her twenties and I told her the truth.”
“Well, it sounds like determination runs in the family,” you mutter. “But at least you two have kept in touch…” You look up, see your uncle’s grimace, and sigh. “You didn’t keep in touch with her.”
He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets. “I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“Pretty sure ‘not like that’ is a good answer.” You sigh again, then shrug and put your hands on your hips. “Well, you’ve probably solved your own problem. She’ll probably just tell Alex who she is just to spite you, assuming she got the ‘petty vengeance’ gene too.”
Your uncle’s eyebrows spike to his hairline, and his expression goes through the five stages of grief in a matter of seconds. “She –she can’t—”
“She can and she probably will.”
He hunches over, crouching, and grips the back of his head. “Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuckshitfuck—”
“Myshka?”
You and your uncle both jump, then whirl in unison and give your husband your best convincing, “we’re totally not talking about long lost, hidden family members and other poor life choices” smiles that you can each manage.
(Consider that you don’t look like you just shit your pants, you win.)
Piotr’s forehead wrinkles with concern. “What… is everything alright?”
“Just fine, baby,” you assure him, subtly kicking your uncle so he relaxes. “Just talking about what happens next.”
Piotr nods after a moment, likely picking up on that whatever’s going on right now isn’t life or death and that you’ll fill him in later. “I actually came to find you,” he says, gesturing to your uncle. “Professor Xavier still cannot reach Allison’s lawyer. He has asked for your assistance.”
“Right. Absolutely. On it,” your uncle says with a none-too-convincing smile. He shoots your husband a pair of finger guns, then books it out of the hall and towards the medical wing of the mansion.
Piotr stares after him, then shoots you a confused frown. “Is he okay?”
You shrug. “He’s doing about his usual.” You decide to further sidestep the issue by ambling over to him and giving him a gentle hug. “How are you?” Are doing okay?”
Piotr wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head. “I am fine now. Just a little sore.”
“Me too.” You nuzzle your cheek against his burly chest. “We really should invest in that hot tub we keep talking about getting. It’d be great for post-mission recovery.”
“Hot tubs are expensive, myshka,” he chuckles.
“Yes, but we’re not getting any younger. It’d be a good investment in taking care of our bodies.” You tilt your head back and grin up at him. “I thought you were all about that life.”
He sighs and shakes his head, feigning exasperation, but his amused smile is a dead giveaway. “Whatever shall I do with you, myshka?”
You grin wider. “You could kiss me.”
Piotr grins back, then dips his head and presses his lips against yours—
Mikhail appears next to you out of thin air. “Ah. Gross. Big meeting is happening. All hands on deck.”
Piotr rolls his eyes when his elder brother teleports away once more, then looks back down at you and strokes your cheek with his thumb. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine, baby.” You unwind your arms from his massive trunk of a torso, then slide your fingers between his as the two of you walk towards the medical wing.
“—I am telling you, Charles, not being able to reach this kid’s lawyer is a bad fucking sign.”
You and Piotr walk into a conference room to find your uncle and Professor Xavier locked in a heated argument.
Wade, Nate, and Neena are leaning against the table to watch, occasionally leaning over to whisper bits of commentary to each other (or, in Wade’s case, speak at normal volume).
In the corner of the room, where a couple of armchairs are positioned, Nikolai sits with his two other children; they’re speaking in hushed Russian, but none of them seem too concerned about everything else going on.
“As I previously stated,” Xavier says, words clipped, “we cannot release Miss Ricci without speaking first to her attorney. The X-Men operate as a special law enforcement service, and failure to comply with criminal and civil statutes will have enormous consequences for the Institute—”
“There’s going to be a bunch of fucking ‘enormous consequences’ for the Institute,” your uncle interrupts, growling through clenched teeth, “if you don’t evacuate this building right fucking now! Fuck’s sake, Charles –you hired me as a security advisor; just listen to me.”
Piotr frowns and curls one hand over your shoulder. “What is happening?”
“What’s happening,” a new, strong, feminine voice interjects from the hall, “is that we’re leaving.” Artemis shoulders past your husband –a feat not easily achieved by many—with Allison in tow, then holds up the teen’s arm that has the repression cuff still attached. She glares at Xavier (and God, she really looks like Alex when she does that), then spits out through gritted, bared teeth, “Get this fucking thing off my kid.”
There’s a longsuffering sigh in the hall, and then Alex steps into the doorway. “She has that cuff on for her own safety –as I already told you—”
Artemis whirls, face contorted by a vicious scowl, and snaps, “I didn’t fucking ask for you input!”
(Boy, if that doesn’t just scream ‘repressed trauma and mommy issues.’)
Your uncle looks like he’s about to pass out again, but Alex seems remarkably nonplussed. She merely raises one eyebrow at Artemis, as if to say ‘that’s all you got?’
There’s no way she knows, you think as you watch the two stare each other down. Not with how much she cares about her kids. There’s no fucking way—
“Actually, we’ve got bigger problems,” your uncle pipes up, voice quavering slightly before he clears his throat. “We can’t reach your kid’s shark.”
“They have other clients,” Artemis retorts, upper lip curling in a derisive sneer. Her dark eyes smolder with barely constrained hatred as she tosses a withering glance in his direction (daddy issues, too, this chick won the whole lottery). “Or maybe they got stuck in traffic.”
Your uncle narrows his eyes at that (and now the two of them look so much alike, overcome by ire as they are). “You cannot possibly be that fucking stupid.”
Artemis sucks a breath through her teeth, eyes widening with rage and hurt. “You fucking dick—”
In the corner of the room, Illyana bolts upright before going stock still. Then, she gasps and reaches out towards her mother. “Mama!”
(The way Artemis’s face mars with a pained grimace makes your heart ache.)
Alex tenses, eyes glowing gold as she starts scanning the horizon (presumably checking for heat signatures). “Gde?”
The room goes quiet –and then you hear it.
The sound of engines rumbling –multiple engines—and car wheels crunching against gravel. Doors thumping open and shut, followed by footsteps. Hushed voices.
You scamper over to the nearest window and float up, just enough to see several men clad in black and Kevlar and carrying rifles stalking towards the front door and around the sides of the house in groups. “Guys with guns. Lots of them.”
“Then get down!” Nate hisses before yanking you back from the window.
“Lights out,” Alex orders before hitting the switch herself. “Get everyone to a reinforced room.”
“There’s a safe room at the end of the hall,” Xavier says before wheeling himself towards the door.
Allison clings to Artemis’s sleeve, much like a baby koala. “What’s going on? What’s going to happen?”
“Go with the Professor,” Artemis says. She quickly –but gently—frees her arm, then clasps the teen’s face with both hands. “Look at me. Listen to the Professor, and stay put until I come get you. Okay?”
Allison’s forehead puckers, and her lower lip starts trembling. “But—”
“Is alright,” Nikolai interjects with a kind, reassuring smile. He gently ushers Allison towards the door, then down the hall before she can protest further.
A few doors down, Karen pokes her head out of the room where she and Frank have holed up. She frowns as she takes in the chaos. “What’s going on?”
“Mafia men with guns!” Wade chirps as he half-skips, half-jogs towards the mansion’s entryway. “Tell your boy to suit up!”
“There’s a safe room at the end of the hall,” Neena adds as she runs after Wade.
Frank squeezes around Karen and kisses her temple before falling in line behind the two assassins.
You step to the side so Karen can run past you, then turn and press a hasty kiss against Piotr’s cheek. “Love you.”
He kisses your cheek in return, equally as brief. “Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu.”
And then the two of you run towards the danger bearing down on your home.
***
In all the firefights you’ve been in, there’s always this moment of silence. A calm before the storm. A moment where everything goes still, while both sides wait for the other to make a move.
You duck behind a wall as the mafia gunmen continue hammering away at the front door, tucking yourself in a shadow. Your stomach tenses, breathing going quick and hard as your mind starts putting a plan together. Don’t want to risk collapsing part of the house by doing a pressure vacuum. Best option is to probably knock them to the ground so the others can jump them.
The door rattles. The wooden portal splits on one side, sending jagged splinters poking out into the air.
You slow your breathing, forcing yourself into a calm, focused state. Wait for them to get past the entryway so you can hit as many of them as possible.
In the back of the house, near the kitchen, you hear glass shatter.
They’re in. You clench your fists at your sides, watching as the front door slowly gives way. Three… two… one…
The door breaks open, swinging inwards as the first gunmen step into the foyer—
And then the door snaps off its hinges and slams into the men, taking them out like bowling pins.
Strike, a small, inane part of your brain giggles.
Shouts go up through the house. You can hear the sounds of rushed footsteps, shattering glass, and what sounds like people being bodyslammed through tables (and, given the type of people fighting for your side, it just might be that). Gunfire pierces the air –and is accompanied by the telltale, metallic plinks of the bullets ricocheting off your husband’s armor.
Angry screams emanate from the front step. Men barge in, firing down the hall, towards some unseen target (likely Alex or Nate, given the door trick).
You wait until as many men are piled into the foyer as possible, then send down a downdraft that blows out the windows on either side of the door.
The gunmen tumble to the floor, swearing in a mixture of English and Italian.
Nate, Wade, and Neena swoop in. They descend upon the mafia men like a pack of wolves, breaking bones, dislocating joints, and cracking skulls as they disarm –and, in some cases “un-alive”—the gunmen.
“It’s raining men!” Wade sings as he runs one of his katanas through the gut of one assailant. “Hallelujah! It’s raining men!” He ramps off a nearby wall, then t-bags another man before stabbing him through the temple. “Amen!”
You crouch, tracking the movement of the scuffle. You tense when you see a couple of the men jump Nathan, then charge towards the railing and dive over when a few more try to break past to run down the hallway. You flip in the air, land in the hallway ahead of them, and unleash a blast of wind right in their faces.
The mafia men fly out through the front door. They sail over half the front drive, then bounce off the gravel surface and roll several times before coming to a stop.
You let out a harsh breath, then dart down the hall towards the kitchen when you hear glass shattering and the sound of Frank bellowing angrily.
The kitchen and rec room are a mess. Glass shards from shattered windows coat the floor, glittering before being crushed underfoot. Doors are cracked from having people slammed into them. The rec room couch is overturned –and is sagging suspiciously on one side, hinting at a cracked frame. The entertainment system is shattered, with smoking bullet holes littering the TV, speakers, and media systems.
Frank has one of the guys pinned down over the sink. He’s snarling as he uses the lip of the sink to choke the guy out. There’s blood smeared his lips and chins, trailing back up to his chin.
Another gunman stalks in through the dining room, gun trained on Frank’s head.
You whip a blast of air at the second man, sending him sailing into the wall so hard the drywall cracks.
He drops to the ground, unconscious.
There’s some terrified shrieking –and then a gunman is punted up and out of the basement stairwell. He sails through the kitchen window headfirst, crumpling in a heap in the hedges outside.
Your husband storms up the staircase, teeth bared in an angry snarl. The waning daylight glints off his metal exterior, almost making him look like some sort of avenging angel. He stops short when he sees you, though; his irate expression vanishes, replaced by concern. “Ty v poryadke?”
You manage a smile and flash him a thumbs up—
And then a truck with a Gatling gun strapped to the roof rolls up to the back door.
“Get down!” Frank hollers before tackling you to the ground behind the kitchen island.
The room explodes into chaos. Bullets plow into the walls, sending up spurts of drywall dust in their wake. Wooden doorframes and floorboards crack, unleashing cascades of splinters in every direction. Glass shatters, raining down upon everything in its reach.
Frank positions himself over you, shielding you as fragmented bullets rain down upon your both. He cups your head with his hands, doing his best to protect you from the hellfire.
Over the din, you can just make out a loud, angry bellow –and then the sound of bullets hitting metal. Heavy, deliberate stomps make the floor shake.
The gunfire cuts off. A shriek pierces the air just before you hear what sounds like a car being tossed into a tree.
(As you’ll discover later, that’s precisely what you heard.)
Frank lifts his head, then carefully rolls off you. He crouches next to you and holds out a hand. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Your ears are ringing, and you’re pretty sure you’ve got glass shards and splinters in your hair, but you’ve been worse. You take his hand, flinching when you hear the sound of more gunfire outside.
Frank peers over the lip of the island. “Reinforcements. At least five more cars headed our way.”
You suck in a breath. “Piotr—”
“Is holding his own for now,” Frank says.
“I’m gonna help him,” you rasp out. “Make sure everyone in the house that’s not on our side… stays down. And that we’ve still got all our people.”
Frank nods, then runs off towards the foyer.
You catch your breath, then creep towards the back door (better safe than sorry). You flatten yourself against the wall next to the doorway, then peer around the broken frame.
Piotr’s facing off against the new influx of cars. He’s got one hand on the hood of one Range Rover, arm extended out like he’s fending off a five-year-old. With his other hand, he flips another SUV over, causing the thing to land on its roof and putting the vehicle squarely out of commission.
Your stomach sinks when five more Range Rovers tear across the lawn, leaving deep, muddy tracks in their wake –and are followed by three more trucks with Gatling guns attached to the roofs. You sprint out the door, take a flying leap over Piotr, then send out a shockwave of air when you land on the ground.
A few of the cars fly backwards, rolling across the lawn like tumbleweeds. A majority of them, however, manage to stay upright or bump into each other and recover.
Your eyes widen when one of the Gatling gun operators aims directly at you. Shit.
Piotr leaps in front of you, whirling so his back is to the gun. He curls his body over yours, shielding you as gunfire rains down on you both.
You grit your teeth, grunting. You can feel the impact of the gunfire resonating through your husband’s metal body. Worry clutches at your heart when Piotr lets out sharp, ragged groans; he’s largely invulnerable in his armor, not to mention his sense of touch is severely dulled, but you know that with shit like this he’s still feeling some sort of pain –and there’s nothing you can do. You’re both pinned down, and as powerful as your shockwaves are, they’re not enough to stop or even skew the trajectory of a bullet—
Blue light washes over both of you. The sound of the gunfire wanes, replaced by warbling, pinging noises instead.
You peer around Piotr’s side to see Illyana standing between the two of you and the oncoming cars. She has her arms outstretched, palms facing the onslaught of adversaries. A shimmering, sky blue shield with various magical incantations floating through it surrounds all of you, stretching into the sky for at least forty feet.
Illyana grunts. She’s being shoved backwards from the force of impact from the bullets. Her feet are digging into the ground, leaving ruts as she tries to hold her stance. “We need new plan!”
“How about ‘stay alive?’” Piotr shouts back as he digs shrapnel out of the grooves on his arms.
Wade, Neena, Nate, and Frank come barreling out the back door, faces streaked with soot and blood. They dive for the ground, covering the backs of their heads and necks with their hands—
An explosion goes off inside the mansion. The shockwave shatters windows on both the first and second floor, blowing out window frames and trim.
Piotr covers your body with his once more. He cups your head with his hand, shielding you from the falling debris and the worst of the shockwave.
You cough and hack as smoke billows out the broken windows and doors. You do your best to make a vortex to suck the smoke away and send it up into the air. Your lungs burn, and your ears are ringing like a bell from all the gunfire and the explosion—
Four more gunmen emerge from the smoke pouring out the back door.
You snarl, then whip blasts of air at them, slamming them into the exterior walls of the house.
One of them goes down, while the other three are merely stunned.
Mikhail comes barreling out next. He lets out a guttural battle cry, then sucker punches one of the men in the back of the head before aiming a blast of rust colored energy at another’s gut.
The man screams as he sails into the air, arcing over the tree line and disappearing somewhere in the canopies.
The third man aims his gun at Mikhail –then staggers and drops to the ground when a beam of golden energy sears through his chest.
Alex storms out of the smoke with Artemis and your uncle trailing close behind her. She glares down the remaining gunmen and cars, teeth bared in a vicious snarl. Blood is flecked across her face and spattered over her leather jacket. “House is clear!”
“Yeah, except now we’re about to be cleared out!” Wade hollers back. “As in, ‘all sales final, no returns, no exchanges!’”
“If we could make plan,” Illyana screams, voice strained with the effort of holding the shield, “would be very great!”
You look over to Alex –and see her eyes widen. You whirl towards the gunmen just in time to see one of them aim a rocket launcher at all of you. “Oh, for the love of—”
The first hit is technically deflected by Illyana’s shield, insomuch that the projectile and the shield both shatter the moment they meet. The force of the magic breaking sends out a shockwave of blue energy that flies backwards into all of you, knocking those who managed to get up back off their feet and stunning the rest of you.
You groan, head reeling. Your vision clears slowly, casting double images when you move too quickly. Shit.
You can make out Piotr, just next to you. He’s lying face down on the lawn, grunting and moving in slow, clumsy movements. He turns his head, brow furrowing when he sees you, and reaches out towards you.
You extend your hand to grab his –but he’s just out of your reach, no matter how far you strain. Your body feels heavy with fatigue and pain; everything inside you is screaming to get up, to fight, to keep moving because death is knocking right on your door, and you’ll be damned if this is how you go out—
Alex recovers first –no surprise there. She shoves herself to her feet, seething and growling like a feral beast. She hurls a blast of energy at one of the cars –and, from the sounds of the carnage, makes a direct hit. She storms towards the sea of mafia men like an avenging angel, hell bound on vengeance and blood.
Audible gasps go up from the amassed assassins.
You lift your head to see several of the gunmen backing away from the mansion and crossing themselves with shaking hands. You chalk it up to Alex being Alex, and make to drop your head back against the ground once more—
And then you see Allison standing in the ruined doorway.
She’s glaring down the gunmen with a viciousness that doesn’t suit the youthful roundness of her face. Her brows are knit together, and her mouth is twisted into an ugly scowl. Her eyes are glowing a brilliant shade of blue and give off little wisps of azure colored smoke. Her skin and hair are smoking as well, creating an aura around her body. Blood drips down from her nose and onto her shirt –which is stained with ash and soot. There are burn marks and indents on her wrists from where the repression cuff and the handcuffs used to be, respectively, but the restraints themselves are gone.
The ground begins to shake. Two patches of cerulean light appear underneath the grass, growing larger until they form swirling vortexes of magical energy. The ground begins to crumble at the edges of the portals, eroding away and growing wider until they make gaping tunnels that channel so deeply into the earth there’s no telling how far they truly go.
You recoil when the smell of sulfur and smoke blenches forth from the tunnels. Shit, did she hit a gas line? Fucking dammit, like this day can get any worse—
Echoing, blood-chilling howls emanate from the tunnels.
Your eyes widen –and then your heart starts working overtime when you see two, then four massive hellhounds (like the ones Allison summoned at the mall) crawl out of the tunnels.
Shrieks of terror sound from the gunmen. Several take off running, while others try to shoot the beasts.
The hounds snap and snarl at the gunmen, then charge at the group. Two of them go off after the runners, while the other two start lunging after the assassins like they’re rabbits.
You stare at the chaos in disbelief –and then a set of strong hands grab you underneath the arms.
“Get up.” You uncle tugs you to your feet, keeping you steady when you stumble. “You can’t be in the flow of traffic for this.”
Behind you, Allison is panting like she’s run a marathon. The aura of blue smoke is growing around her, trailing into the air and floating over the ground. Veins of light spread across her face and arms, glowing the same shade of vibrant blue as her eyes. Her breathing grows louder and more ragged, until she’s growling and shaking with each exhale— and then she screams.
Much like the first confrontation in the cemetery, all those months ago, the scream unleashes a shockwave of blue energy. This time, though, the shockwave is far from a decoy for escape. It washes over you, the X-Force, your uncle, the other Rasputins, Frank, and Artemis harmlessly enough –then slams into the mafia forces and vehicles like the wall of a hurricane.
Alex charges after the shockwave, carefully trailing behind it. She waits until it clears the first line of gunmen, then slams her fist into the face of the man closest to her. She blocks his attempt to strike her, then twists his arm –dislocating the shoulder, which makes him shriek in pain. Then, she wrenches his rifle away from him. She shoots him once in the center of his forehead, then turns the firearm on his fellow men and keeps firing.
Mikhail and Artemis go after the one surviving Gatling gun. Mikhail teleports onto the truck bed; he sweeps the back of one man’s jacket over his head, effectively blinding him, then kicks the other man present in the balls before shoving him over the side of the truck.
Artemis, on the other hand, stops a few feet away from the truck. She uses her telekinesis to rip the Gatling gun off its mount, then yanks the driver out through the windscreen –headfirst, no less—and dumps him on the lawn.
He doesn’t get back up.
“Come on,” your uncle says, pointing towards the further reaches of the property, where some of the gunmen are still trying to outrun the hellhounds. “Let’s give the dogs a helping hand.”
The two of you reach out, creating a wind current that slices through the air and slams into the stragglers.
The men careen into nearby hedges –and the hellhounds have it from there.
The familiar sonic blast of Nathan’s gun rips through the air. The shot slams into the last remaining SUV, rendering the vehicle to little more than glass shards and mangled metal.
The back lawn and gardens fall silent, save for the sounds of groans of pain and the hellhounds chewing on various gunmen.
Mikhail takes a fall off the back of the truck bed. He flops onto the ruined grass below, limbs splaying like a rag doll’s. “Alright. Is time for nap. Wake me… never.”
Illyana scoffs from where she’s sat next to a smoldering bush. She picks up a nearby stone, then chucks it at her eldest brother’s head (and hits her target, no less). “There is still clean up. Bezdel'nik.”
Mikhail flips her off, then groans as he rubs the bridge of his nose.
“She’s right,” Alex lectures her eldest as she picks her way through the carnage. She nudges one body with the toe of her combat boot, then shoots him through the temple when he groans.
“Mama!” Piotr gapes at her, expression scandalized. He sputters, looking between her and the body at her feet.
“Chto? Vy khotite yego zhivym? Chtoby on mog dolozhit' svoim khozyayevam? Chtoby on mog obrushit' adskiy ogon' na etu shkolu i vsekh, kogo vy lyubite? No –no.” She holds up her index finger and stares sternly at Piotr when he tries to argue. “You do not leave enemies on your six o’clock, medvezhonok. First rule of survival.”
Piotr swallows hard, then says softly, “X-Men do not kill.”
Alex shrugs. “And I am not an X-Man.”
“We’ll handle it,” Nathan says. He holds his hand out for Alex’s rifle, nodding when she hands it to him after a moment’s hesitation.
(Wade and Frank are already working their way through the sea of dead and wounded. Frank’s traversing the chaos methodically, sticking to minimal shots to kill the survivors, while Wade’s alternating between singing “Dancing Queen” and getting post-mortem revenge.
“You shot my dick off inside!” Wade gasps as he peers down at a –slightly chewed on—corpse. “Extra bullets for you!” He then shoots the dead body several times before resuming his pitchy serenade.)
“What now?” Allison asks, staring out at the carnage with a slightly shocked expression.
“‘What now?’” Artemis repeats, laughing incredulously. She stomps towards Allison, pulling a pack of tissues out of her inner jacket pocket. “What the hell are you even doing out here? You were supposed to stay in the safe room—”
“They had cameras in there,” Allison says with a roll of her eyes, as if that justifies her decision to join the fracas. “You guys were getting your asses kicked.”
“We would’ve handled it.”
“Yeah, except you weren’t,” Allison fires back. She scrunches up her face when Artemis starts wiping the blood off her face, but otherwise takes the mothering without any complaint.
“It’s not your responsibility to deal with this shit,” Artemis says, voice and expression softening for a moment. She cleans up Allison’s face –then scowls. “And where the fuck are your cuffs? How did you even get out of them?”
Allison shrugs. “I used my powers to short the repression cuff out and ash it off.”
Illyana’s, Alex’s, and your uncle’s heads all snap around to stare at Allison.
“Are you kidding me?” Artemis hisses through clenched teeth. “You could’ve fucking killed yourself!”
“Or caused magical paradox that ripped hole in space-time continuum,” Illyana snaps.
“Ruptured blood vessels in your brain and caused an aneurysm, made the cuff deliver a lethal electrical shock, turned your magic against your own body and rendered yourself to ash,” your uncle continues, ticking off items on his fingers.
“Well, I didn’t do any of that!” Allison snarls, glaring at the others while Artemis keeps cleaning up her face. “And I made sure you losers won the fight –so fuck off!”
“Get her something to eat and drink,” Alex says. “Her blood sugar is bound to be low after pulling a stunt like that.”
Artemis glares at Alex and opens her mouth to respond—
Across the yard, Wade lets out a pained shriek. “My balls are not fetch toys! Bad Fido! Bad!”
Your eyes widen as you watch one of the hellhounds swing Wade around by his legs. You bite down on your lip, holding in a shock-induced laugh.
“Where’s this mutt’s off-switch –hey, hey! No!” Wade wriggles in the hellhound’s mouth, panicking as another beast bounds towards him. “My spine is not a tug toy! Can someone get rid of Fido and Rufus before they rip me in half!”
Allison snorts –then, before anyone can stop her, holds out her hand and flicks her wrist.
All four hellhounds melt back into the ground, disappearing to the depths of hell from whence they came.
Artemis swears under her breath, then catches the teen when she stumbles. She moves frantically, grabbing more tissues as blood starts pouring out of Allison’s nose once more. “You fucking idiot. Why the fuck did you do that? When are you going to fucking learn that you’re not invincible—”
Allison lets out a sharp, hoarse laugh –then passes out.
The wreckage inside the mansion is heartbreaking.
You stare at the ruined furniture, the scorched walls, the splintered doors, the ruined rec room and kitchen, and you have to wonder what was the fucking point?
Part of you understands that the mafia came prepared for war; they were going up against powerful mutants, so –naturally—they would want to be prepared. Having the strongest, most powerful weapons available increased their chances of success. Logically –from a strictly tactical standpoint—it makes sense.
Glass crunches under your shoes. You stare down at a litany of fallen picture frames, heart wrenching as you stare at the ruined pictures of graduates, students, and workers inside. We’re just a school. We work with kids. What was the point of trying to wipe us out?
Piotr ambles up behind you. He puts his arms around your shoulders and kisses the top of your head. “Cleaners and repairmen will be here in less than one hour.”
You feel numb. You place your hand on his arm. “That’s good.”
“We have back ups of pictures,” he murmurs. He kisses your cheek. “Insurance to cover replacing damaged items. We will be fine.”
“I know.” You sigh, leaning back against your husband’s chest. “We’re just a school. What… what was the point? Why try to wipe us out?”
“I do not know.” Piotr kisses your other cheek, hugging you reassuringly. “Perhaps they believed we knew information about ‘family business.’ Or that we were protecting Allison for some reason.”
“She’s just a kid,” you argue, voice breaking as your grief and exhaustion wells up and threatens to overtake you. “She’s only thirteen…”
Piotr says nothing, merely holds you closer.
You sigh—
And then a door slams. Hurried stomps echo down the hall. There’s creaking as a door opens again, followed by more footsteps and exasperated shouts.
Allison storms past you and Piotr, heading towards the kitchen. Her jaw is set, fists clenched at her sides.
You and Piotr look at each other –then follow after her, if only to be sure that nothing else is going to explode today.
She slams her hands down on the island counter –and, on the opposite side, Frank and Karen both flinch and stare at her warily.
Allison glares at Frank, jaw working convulsively. Her shoulders heave with each breath she takes. Her eyes shine with unshed tears, making the bags underneath seem darker and deeper by comparison. She trembles, expression flickering wildly between grief, white hot rage, and the neutral mask she’s trying so desperately to hold. She sucks in a breath that sounds more like a pained sob, then stares Frank down and spits out through gritted teeth, “You leave my people alone, I leave yours alone. Deal?”
Frank sighs. He nods, expression heavy with grief and eyes shining with remorse. “Yeah, kid. You got a deal.”
Allison clenches the edge of the island so hard her hands go white. She lets out a strangled, angry laugh as the tears finally start to fall. She ducks her head briefly, then glares back up at Frank. “I fucking hate you.”
Frank grimaces, but nods and says, “I know kid. It’s okay. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“That ain’t worth shit.”
“I know… believe me, I know.”
Artemis –who’d previously been watching at the kitchen threshold—steps forward and puts her arm around Allison’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go.”
Allison clenches her teeth together, but still lets out a choked sob. She presses her lips together, looking around the room to try and regain her composure, to stop the flow of tears. She manages a deep breath, then takes one last look at Frank and snarls, “If I have to see your fucking face again, I’m ripping out your guts,” before storming out of the room.
Frank, to his credit, doesn’t respond (though you suspect he feels too guilty to even consider arguing). He merely hangs his head, expression that of a kicked dog.
Karen leans against him. She interlocks her fingers with his, murmuring in his ear (likely about how it isn’t his fault, and while it looks like that may technically be the case, you’re glad you don’t have to walk the spider’s silk of a line those facts lie upon).
What a shitshow.
Piotr puts an arm around your shoulders and gently leads you out of the kitchen. “Come on, myshka. Let’s go find spot to rest.”
Frank and Karen leave shortly after “making the deal” with Allison.
Allison and Artemis hang back for a bit to talk to Xavier. You don’t get all the gorey details but from what you can tell, it’s essentially an offer to help train Allison’s powers so she doesn’t hurt herself rolled in with a warning to keep her nose clean, stay on the straight and narrow, etcetera etcetera.
The sun’s just starting its descent from the sky before the two of them walk out of the meeting room.
Allison is wearing Artemis’s jacket and looks downright haggard.
Artemis has her arm around the teen and is gently guiding her while she talks to Xavier (though, perhaps the term “talk” is too generous, considering most of her responses are nods or terse, one-to-two word replies).
The rest of the Rasputin family, you, Piotr, and your uncle are all gathered in the foyer to make sure Allison and Artemis leave without too much trouble (or causing more trouble themselves).
Your uncle is sweating bullets and looks like he just shit his pants; he’s glancing between Alex and their daughter so fast it’s a miracle he hasn’t given himself a headache yet.
Now or never, you think, watching him with pursed lips. Tell your secrets before they’re told for you.
Alex kneels down next to Allison. “Are you okay?”
Allison’s gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “The fuck do you think?”
She quirks her mouth to the side. “Not all that good.” Alex ducks her head lower, trying to catch Allison’s gaze. “You remember what we talked about?”
Allison’s eyes narrow. She moves her gaze away from Alex. “Go to hell. I know what I know.”
“Sometimes… it’s better to not,” Alex says. She stares at Allison for a moment longer, then pats her shoulder before standing and walking away.
Artemis stares after Alex, expression morphing rapidly between fury and shock. She sputters for a moment before snapping, “What –that’s all you have to fucking say?”
Alex pauses, turning slightly so she can see Artemis. She raises one eyebrow, otherwise looking unbothered. “Is there something else I should be saying?”
“You don’t have anything to say to me?” Artemis presses, crossing her arms over her chest. “Nothing at all?”
“Is there something you want me to say to you?” Alex fires back, smirking slightly.
Artemis stares at Alex for a long, hard moment. She shakes her head, eyes welling up with tears, then turns her glare onto your uncle. “You really didn’t fucking tell her.”
“What?” Alex’s expression sobers, going wary as she looks between your uncle and Artemis. “What didn’t you—”
“This really isn’t the time or place—” Your uncle tries.
And here it goes.
“I’ve gotta do all the work, then,” Artemis snarls with a vicious smile. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense, considering I’m not your favorite,” she tacks on with an angry glare towards you. She storms towards Alex, one hand outstretched, with a cruel, angry smile stretched across her face. “Hey, mom. How’s it going?”
Alex’s eyes widen. She stares at Artemis, eyes tracking over the younger woman’s face. “What…”
“You fucking heard me.”
Illyana, Piotr, and Mikhail look at each other, then at Alex, then at Nikolai. They explode into confused Russian, gesturing between their parents, Artemis, and your uncle—
Realization dawns in Alex’s dark eyes. Her expression trembles, tears welling up in her eyes as she stares at Artemis’s face.
And then she uses her telekinesis to yank your uncle over and decks him.
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battlinghurricanes · 3 years
Text
LITYERSES HEADCANONS!!!!!!!
I saw some other headcanon posts for him, so I felt inspired to throw my own ideas out there! I think some of my headcanons are pretty different from the ones a lot of people have of him, but I always like reading other people’s ideas so hopefully people will like this too!
(also theres a lot, this is long *cough* my bad)
- After the incident in The Lost Hero, after Midas dies, Lityerses is homeless. His father’s mansion is destroyed and it’s not like he has anyone to turn to.
- They mention in The Lost Hero that the Hunters of Artemis came across Midas and Lityerses earlier. When they did, Lityerses heard in passing about Camp Half-Blood. It’s the only place meant for demigods that he has even the slightest knowledge on, so he sets his sights on making it there.
- It takes eight grim months to reach New York. It’s half a miracle, slowly taking busses, hitchhiking, and sometimes just walking to the next city. Monsters attack him the entire way and he adds plenty of new scars to his collection.
- There’s no reliable way for him to get money. He gets much, much better at using his powers as a son of Demeter. He uses it to grow fruits, vegetables, and any sort of edible plant so he can at least have food of some kind.
- He goes to New York City because he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t even know if the Hunters were talking about the city or the state but he figures he has to start somewhere. Unfortunately, the Triumvirate notices his presence before anyone from Camp Half-Blood does.
- He follows some demigods to Nero, who sent them to collect him. He offers a position working for the Triumvirate in exchange for food, lodging, and other basic support. Lityerses is tired and he wants to sleep in a bed and have proper meals he doesn’t have to worry about acquiring.
- He accepts, not caring if what the Triumvirate is doing is shitty or not. Nero sends him to Indianapolis to work for Commodus.
- Apollo’s decision to give him another chance was very affecting. Especially coming from ancient times when the stories of the gods on earth were far more real and immediate, he knows very well how the gods could treat mortals as simply disposable.
- He had never questioned his belief that any mortal who got wrapped up in business with a god suffered a horrible fate because of it, whether the god intended it or not.
- But then Apollo saved his life and defended him at the Waystation and told him he trusted him and Lityerses’s mind keeps drifting back to him over and over and over.
- His mind wants to reconcile what Apollo did for him with what he knows about the gods. He can’t, and that makes him feel a great many things that he can’t pin down. Apollo decided to care about him when he had no reason to, and he doesn’t know what that means for him.
- He feels a twinge of gratitude whenever he steps into the sunlight and pulse of anxiety whenever he wonders if he’s okay on his quest.
- He thinks about Meg, his little sister, and hopes they’re keeping each other safe.
- Lityerses can occasionally seem really dull, indifferent, or unresponsive because he gives super minimal reactions to things sometimes, but that’s really not the case.
- Being in the modern world for him is sort of like a slight, but near constant sensory overload. Sometimes, his brain is too busy processing other stuff to fully load up an emotional response. He’ll react to something in his mind but he won’t express it outwardly at all.
- Leo, running up: Wanna help me strap a firework to a crossbow bolt and try to shoot it into the office building across the street to see if it’ll blow up in there?!!!!!     Lityerses, with a completely flat voice and blank expression: I think that’s a very bad idea.
- It’s definitely not all the time, but it does happen.
- (Me? Projecting sensory issues onto every character I like? It’s more likely than you think.)
- He has a very “go with the flow” attitude, to the point of being a character flaw sometimes. It can make him easy to manipulate.
- (Commodus: hey lityerses go put this barbed wire and war helmets and metal teeth on these ostriches     Liyerses, in his head: uhuh uhuh uhuh uhuh yeah cool got it i hope i still have some fingers left tomorrow)
- He’s working on it though. He’s working on it.
- One side effect of this is that whenever Leo makes some pop culture or meme reference, Lityerses will just nod and agree. It takes Leo forever to realise that he was just lying going along with it.
- *mid conversation*  Lityerses: I’d go get some food, but I don’t have any money     Leo: dude, you’re literally just the 69 cents vine, not enough for chicken nuggets     Lityerses: oh, for sure     Calypso, overhearing: wait, you understood that??     Lityerses: no, I’ve never understood a single word that’s left leo’s mouth       Leo: what?!!!! but you said you understood my reference to that dril tweet the other day, right?!      Lityerses: yeah, of course      Calypso: what’s a dril tweet??      Lityerses: I don’t know.       Leo: YOU TRAITOR
- Another side effect: he’s a complete pushover for Georgie.
- At one point, when some of the Waystation crew are walking out in the city, she complains that she’s tired and wants to be carried. When her moms gently refuse, she immediately goes over to Lityerses and holds her arms out and says that she’s tired. He doesn’t even stop walking, he just swoops her up and puts her on his shoulder right away.
- Hemithia and Jo glare at him but he just avoids eye contact. “She’s already up there, too much effort to put her down now.”
- He was in the Fields of Punishment in the Underworld and wow was it incredibly traumatizing.
- His memories of death are sickeningly agonizing, but they also usually feel distant and unreal. Sometimes, though, they’ll worm their way into his dreams with horrific clarity. He’ll wake up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating, with full body tremors he can’t control.
- One morning after waking up like that, while sitting on the floor regaining his composure, Hemithea comes in to see why he wasn’t up yet. He pulls himself together in due time. He doesn’t answer any of her questions.
- He never talks about it, but he’s truly terrified of dying. He never was before, but now that he knows what’s waiting for him...
- It doesn’t help that he knows that, no matter how careful he is or how well he defends himself, he could die at any moment if Thanatos decides to bring him back to the Underworld.
- It weighs on the back of his mind that, at least on a technical level, he has no right to be alive. Sometimes he can’t help but think that the things he does now don’t matter in the end, because there’s no reason he would get a second judgement when he does eventually return to the Underworld.
- He does his best to shut that down and remind himself that trying to do the right thing helps the people around him, no matter what happens after his death, but the thought exists and it is painful.
- He really never voices these fears because he feels like all he can really do is try not to think about it, and when he does, he tries to forget as soon as he can. It’s a burden he shoulders as quietly as he can.
- He isn’t used to owning a lot of material possessions, both from how he lived in ancient times and then from being homeless for a while. He’s only ever described wearing that Cornhuskers shirt because it’s the only one he owned for a while.
- Not long after joining the Waystation, the first time he was going out somewhere them, Jo snapped that it just made him look stupid, trying to look tough by going without a coat when it was so cold outside. Earnestly confused and defensive, he tells her that he just doesn’t own one.
- After that, she insists on filling his wardrobe until he has enough clothes.
- (Speaking of the Cornhuskers shirt, he just picked it out on a whim, sort of thinking of Demeter (They grow corn here like we used to grow wheat, right?) and sort of just thinking it looked cool. Olujime once tried to talk to him about how some college teams were doing and Lityerses just goes “What’s football?”)
- He doesn’t really get modern fashion trends. Leo offers to catch him up, but he declines very quickly.
- In ancient times, dyes and patterns available for clothes were much more limited and much more expensive. He’s fascinated by all the colors and prints people can wear just all the time now. Lityerses wears a lot of bright colors because he thinks they’re cool and fun. He likes red, blue, and purple the most but he’ll wear a lot of stuff.
- Along with not really following any trends, he also hasn’t picked up on a lot of unspoken gender connotations that come with modern clothing.
- When the Waystation are first trying to get him some clothes, he picks out a pink jacket and Leo snorts at him like “You’re going for pink?” Lityerses just stares at him like “Yeah. It’s just pink.” Leo sort of realizes and goes, “Oh, it’s just, you know...” to Calypso. But Calypso is also just staring blankly and says, “No I don’t. I don’t get it. Is there something about pink?” And Leo notices Hemithea glaring daggers at him and he laughs nervously and goes, “Nevermind, it was a stupid joke anyway.”
- Hemithia: Leave the ancient demigod and ex-titan blissfully unaware of our complex, modern gender stereotypes.    Leo, sweating: gotcha.
- He pretty much just wears what he finds comfortable. Generally it’s just t-shirts with jeans or basketball shorts.
- Lityerses is a super clingy sleeper and will reflexively grab on to anything within arms reach while he’s asleep. (He’s a big spoon by nature.)
- Leo discovers this and now, whenever Lityerses falls asleep on one of the couches, he’ll entertain himself by slowly pushing a pillow up to him until he inevitably grabs it and pulls it against his chest.
- No one gets those pillows back until Lityerses wakes up.
- He’s very buff. His muscles aren’t super defined, nothing at all like a bodybuilder, no six pack abs or anything. But he’s built. Thick arms.
- He’s very limber and flexible too. He has great balance, which lets him move as fast as he does in combat. He’s quite physically fit in general.
- He’ll never admit it, but he ended up getting attached to the highlights in his hair he got when Apollo revealed his godly form. He thought they were fun and different and he sort of missed it when his hair grew out.
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Can you do the manager hcs that act like Alice Nakiri from SnS for Inarizaki, Shiratorizawa, Fukurodani, and Nekoma? (like she is BEST GIRL; so confident, adorkable, impulsive, carefree, have a mischievous side, has cute bossy tendencies but at the same time she is really caring, polite, and very very rich (she doesn't even know what a Bento is)
Hello my love!! Ahhh I just love receiving asks from you. You're honestly a psychic, I was actually just fangirling over Alice Nakiri when I saw your ask, because I'm on season two of sns.
I have the HUGEST crush on Hayama Akira omg. Definitely my favourite character from the show, his visuals and character are both just god-tier. Who's your favourite male character from the show? I think Akira, Takumi and Isshiki are such cuties. Although Isshiki's fashion sense is just so questionable oml
@k-sakusa-old (I CAN FINALLY TAG YOU IM SO HAPPY!!) ❤️🖤
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Rich manager headcanons.
Characters: Inarizaki team, Shiratorizawa team, Fukurodani team, Nekoma team.
Warnings: none :))
Manager preferance: as stated, she's adorable, funny, and rich, and an excellent cook! Has a mischievous side, and a curvaceous and beautiful body with pretty features.
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Inarizaki
Ahhh alright, it's my little fox babies!! They see you around school with your best friend pretty often, and they're struck because you look so different.
Like they've honestly never seen anyone like you, with your eyes and hair a different colour, and the way you carry yourself with so much grace and class, yet you also have the cutest expressions.
I think they'd all be subtle simps for you even before getting to know you, because they find your mannerisms really cute.
Definitely push captain Kita to ask you to become their manager.
So you're with your best friend, and you're teasing him (REAL SNS FANS KNOW ALICE IS NEVER WITHOUT RYO) and Kita bows and asks if you would be the manager for their volleyball team.
To vex him further, you tease him before agreeing to help, and he looks relieved, albeit a bit traumatized. He definitely wasn't expecting such a sassy girl.
Kita reports back to the team that you've agreed and will be manager starting tomorrow.
Back at home, you remember Kita's face after teasing him, and you decide to cook the team something as a peace offering, also hoping you'll make a good impression.
You cook them something extremely fancy, using your extensive cooking knowledge and effort, and the end result is something worthy of being served at a high-class restaurant. You go to bed satisfied, after asking the butler to prepare and pack the food for the team at school.
After school the next day, you smile happily with your butler by your side carrying the food you've made.
The entire volleyball team is just ":O"
You smile cheekily and tell them to dig in, introducing yourself as the new manager.
They're in a bit of shock, because they never knew you were; a. Rich, or b. So generous.
Flashing them a gorgeous smile, you crack jokes with them and ask them how they liked the food, later revealing you've cooked it.
The team is just so??? impressed?? Like wow she's so adorable and sassy which kinda makes her hot, and she can cook so well?
Please cue Osamu falling in love as he subtly decides what to name y'alls children.
I mean, a girl who can cook better than he can? He'd be so eager to learn from you and cook together with you, he's already getting dizzy just thinking about it.
Atsumu would probably be pretty whipped too, and not just because of the food (he's such a foodie, that's just a bonus point). He totally thinks any girl who can crack jokes and make him laugh has the key to his heart, and he loves how you're unafraid and mischievous.
As you warm up to them and begin attending their practices daily and getting closer, Aran just starts getting more and more impressed about how funny you can be.
Your antics and pouts totally make him laugh.
Suna probably strikes this relationship with you where he plans pranks and you're just gutsy enough to execute them. You're also more likely to get into trouble but whatever. While he's just recording you from somewhere
So he thinks you're really cool :] and you can really just tease him mercilessly and he wouldn't mind.
Kita just finds you so capable and brilliant, but he's also pretty shy by how confident and cool you are.
I think he'd try his best to talk to you and slowly and eventually form a bond with you based on something you both like.
In general, the team is just constantly in awe of you and they find you so exceptionally cool. Extremely blessed to have you as a manager and can't resist but show you off every single chance they get.
Like "in your face Itachiyama we have this gorgeous queen on our side here, alright?"
And you're loyal to them, trash talking their opponents even better than the Miya twins, yet keeping this innocent smile and façade up which makes the entire teams' hearts just squeeze at how hot you look when you do that.
10/10, Inarizaki adores you.
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Shiratorizawa
So this is a school for rich kids, luv I think everyone is rich and unfazed 😭🤚
You become the team's manager because your teacher says it's a "hard position" and "no one has managed to keep it for long" which definitely just fuels your need to be the best at it.
But it doesn't go without careful planning, you wait at the gym to greet the members without revealing yourself as their manager.
You meet Ushijima first, and he's as silent and stoic as ever, which leads you to start teasing him and asking for attention.
Which he doesn't grant you. As you know Ushijima, he's probably gonna get annoyed :(
Ugh farmer boy doesn't know how to loosen up and have fun can someone teach him how to be cool?
So NGL you're a bit disheartened, until you meet your next favourite human being, Tendou Satori.
He just starts cracking jokes and matching your energy pretty well, you guys vibe so well together!!
And you feel like thinks might just be looking up. You plan on telling Tendou you'll be their new manager, when you meet another member of the team.
Goshiki is just a blushing mess when he sees you. I feel like he would not know how to act around girls and his brain just short circuits when he sees someone as BEAUTIFUL as you are.
You probably spot his nosebleed and joke with him, gently wiping his face with a tissue.
Which of course, causes him to faint on the spot, can we get an f in the chat for him?
Tendou helps him up and you're just laughing silently whilst coming face to face with Semi Eita.
So you're totally the type to be vocal about things and if you find someone cute, you aren't beating around the bush, so you're just like “hey I think you're so cute!”
And Semi is just like “omg okay what”
He definitely laughs it off and finds you brave and cool, and you kinda earn his respect for being so straightforward.
And he's pretty happy about the compliment.
You follow them into the gym and introduce yourself as their new manager, and they all promise to work hard and cooperate with you.
You get along well with the whole team, but for some reason, you and Ushijima just don't have the same connection you share with the others.
Like your jokes with Tendou, or your playful and mischievous nature with Semi.
Or even how you tease Goshiki.
You're determined to fix it.
So one day after a match, you round the whole team up and bring them to your house, instructing they wait by the dining table.
And you whip out some really fancy food you've just prepared, calling it a celebration for winning :)
They don't know you've cooked it yet, so you tell them and they're all just so impressed but not surprised, since they know you're capable and amazing at anything you do.
But Ushijima is just like?? Wow??
Because the flavours and way you've prepared the food touches him and he's just so proud to know someone who can make other people happy with their cooking.
And he tells you so, causing you to blush for the first time in your life.
The team is so soft when they see you flustered over something their captain has said, and they're glad you guys are slowly growing closer.
Each of them kiss your forehead and thank you for the meal before heading home, even Ushijima! (Which was super unexpected. You just expected a curt nod of a sort, but he gave you a gentle peck and ruffled you hair)
You smile to yourself because you're finally on good terms with everyone :)
The team totally thinks of you as a little sister, except Goshiki who views you as the coolest senpai ever loves bragging about you to his friends.
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[ Ari's note: Nekoma and Fukurodani will be out in a few hours!! I'm sorry I have a deadline to meet for some reports and although I've done my work my club members haven't submitted some stuff yet so I have to wait till they do😭 it's so stressful, but I'm the president and I'll technically be held responsible if this doesn't go well, so uhh wish me luck? 👉👈❤️ Love you guys! Thanks for reading ]
Taglist: @osamusriceballs @k-sakusa-old
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wandas-sunshine · 3 years
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Free Falling
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Summary: You’re nervous about Tony’s annual Christmas Ball, but Bucky is there to help ease your nerves, or maybe make them worse. Either way you’re happy to spend your time with him.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 1,690
Warnings: Minor alcohol mention, reader is pretty anxious
A/N: This doesn’t specify the reader’s gender, but the reader does wear a dress so I apologize if that ruins it for you guys. Let me know what you think! Happy holidays my dears
Tony Stark’s parties were legendary. His annual Christmas Ball was the event of the year. A live orchestra, the best chefs in the world, and decorations that probably cost more than your house. Or at least that’s what you’d heard. Even after years of working with the Avengers, you’d never gone to one. You received an invitation every year, and every year you’d stare at it, but never once did you attend. You just didn’t have the confidence, or a date. Fancy dance parties weren’t exactly your cup of tea. But this year there was a new variable being tossed into play.
You had just been given your invitation. The words were printed in swirling silver script that reminded you of freshly fallen snow. You were so focused on the looping print that you didn’t notice Steve joining you in the kitchen.
“Are you thinking of going?” He asked. You nearly jumped out of your skin, whirling around to look at him. He gave you a sheepish smile.
“Oh, um...yeah, maybe. I don’t know, it’s not really my thing.” You shrugged and put the invitation back on the table. Steve hummed and picked it up.
“Buck is going this year.” He stated. You bit your lip. To most anyone who had known you for any length of time, your feelings for Bucky were  common knowledge. The only person still in the dark about it was Bucky himself, and you were happy to keep it that way. “I think he’d like seeing you there.”
You wanted so badly to ask why he’d care if you were at Tony’s stupid ball anyway. Nevertheless, the promise of seeing him was enough to convince you to face your fears and RSVP.
The next issue came with trying to find something you could get away with wearing. One look at your wardrobe was enough to make it clear that formal situations were not your usual environment. So Natasha decided to take things into her own hands. She argued that you didn’t know how to dress yourself up properly.
One shopping spree later and she had you dressed to kill, though not literally for a change. Of course you were insecure, staring yourself down in the mirror and picking out all of the flaws and insecurities. You probably would have backed out if it wasn’t for how excited your friends were for you to finally join them.
So there you stood outside the looming doors with Steve by your side. You clung to his arm with trembling hands, just praying that your knees wouldn’t go weak when you tried to walk inside. He’d been awfully sweet when you’d asked him to stay with you for a moment. You hadn’t expected to be so terrified, but nearly all of the most influential people in the world were beyond those doors. You could hear the music, and the excited chatter on the other side.
“Maybe I should just go home,” You decided, smoothing your hands over the skirt of your dress. Steve’s hand rested against your shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.
“Come on, you’re gonna have a good time.” He guided you gently through the doors.
The room was stunning, vaulted ceilings and wide open space. The bar was on the far end, and it was already crowded with people and lined with silver garland. The walls were lined with trees bigger than any you’d ever seen, all decorated in red and gold. There were shimmering silver snowflakes that looked like they were floating in midair. It was breathtaking really, more beautiful than any of the other parties Tony had thrown you were sure.
You didn’t get to admire the view for too long before you felt the familiar prickle at the back of your neck. You looked up to find several pairs of eyes on you, a few people even swapping whispered comments that you could only imagine were about the two of you standing there frozen at the entrance. You felt your stomach drop as the panic set in. You were no good at being the center of attention. You mentally scrutinized your appearance, but your attention was caught once again.
“Are you alright?” Your eyes snapped up, immediately meeting the steady gaze of one James Barnes. He looked like a model standing there. His black suit jacket covered his red vest and white undershirt. He’d tied his hair back into a bun at the base of his skull, and a few rebellious locks had fallen out into his face. You couldn’t help but think about how well the look suited him, what with the way it accentuated his stubble jawline.
“Everyone is looking over here,” You answered, your eyes drifting down to look at your overpriced shoes. He chuckled, and hearing that sound, you thought, may have been the closest to heaven you’d ever get.
“Let them look. You’re stunning.” The conviction in his voice made your chest fill with nerves until there was no room for your breath. You could have sworn that the floor had fallen out from beneath your feet. You were freefalling. You weren’t often on the receiving end of such compliments. Especially not from him. “Come on, everyone’s over by the bar,”
He offered your arm, and Steve gently pulled away from you. Even with your nerves, you knew it would be impolite to decline, so you rested your hand in the crook of his elbow. With two super soldiers flanking you, the crowd parted like the red sea. Unfortunately that also meant that a surprising amount of attention was turned to the person they were escorting. Everyone was looking at the three of you like you were royalty, but you were too preoccupied to notice, too distracted by Bucky.
When he left your side, you had found solace in the company of Sam and Natasha, both of whom looked stunning enough to make you a little insecure. Not that either of them were going to have any part of you talking badly about yourself. A few compliments later, and Bucky was back beside you, pressing a drink into your hand. You didn’t know what it was but you could use a little something to help you calm down. So you sipped it.
Once you had settled in with all of your friends things didn’t seem so terrible. But the whole time Bucky stayed glued to your side. You didn’t complain one bit. You were a couple of drinks in, joking with Wanda and Bucky until she was stolen away for a dance. Then there were two.
The two of you both fell quiet after only a moment. You sipped your drink and scanned the room. Everyone seemed to be having fun, but you were still pretty sure you stood out like a sore thumb.
“You need to stop thinking so much. Come on,” He took your drink out of your hand and set it down with yours. You quirked an eyebrow at him as he held his hand out for you. “Dance with me,”
You shook your head frantically. You were having enough trouble functioning just standing beside him. He still took your hand in his.
“Bucky, I don’t know how to dance.” You blurted out, pulling your hand from his even though you liked the way they fit so perfectly together.
“Don’t you trust me?” He took your hand again, this time more firmly so you wouldn’t pull it away again. “Just follow me lead,”
“I still don’t know about this,” You whined. Once he had led you to the floor, he carefully showed you what to do with your hands. With so many bodies closing in, you had no choice but to gravitate closer to him. He held you so gently, and the light scent of his cologne was dizzying. Lucky for you he had a hand pressed warm and firm against your lower back.
“You look like you’re gonna pass out,” He joked, leaning down to whisper directly into your ear. You shivered at the feeling of his breath tickling against your skin.
“I’m just nervous.” You laughed nervously at the confession. You hardly noticed how easily he was leading you to dance alongside the other couples on the floor. It was easy to follow his lead. You would, after all, follow him to the ends of the earth.
“Why are you nervous? You’re a natural,” He complimented, and you felt your body flush hot.
“It’s stupid,” You shook your head. The long silence between you told you clearly that he wasn’t letting you off the hook so easily. “I always get nervous around you,”
“Is that why you always avoid me?” He smirked, but there wasn’t the edge of disappointment or harsh amusement that you had expected from him. You nodded, your laugh fizzling into flustered giggles. This was pathetic. 
“When I’m around you it’s like my brain forgets how to work.” You confessed. You weren’t sure why you were spilling all your secrets to him, but once you started talking to him it was just so easy to keep going.
“You don’t seem to be having any trouble now.” He laughed, bright and bubbly like that thought alone made him happy. You wondered if that really did make him happy, but wasn’t that just wishful thinking?
“Really? Cuz I feel like I’m dying. Guess it just takes practice.” You were joking, sort of anyway, but Bucky grinned. He gave your waist a little squeeze and leaned down again, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he whispered.
“Then you should spend more time with me. You should let me take you on a real date.” Your heart stuttered in your chest as his words sunk in. Maybe Christmas miracles were real, because Bucky Barnes being interested in you had to be thanks to some sort of holiday magic.
“Do you mean that?” You asked. He nodded a silent response, eyes locked with yours. “Yeah, yeah we should give that a go.”
That was the moment you finally admitted that maybe attending this stupid ball wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
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The House of the Rising Sun (Number 5 x reader)
A/N: This is an unfinished fic ive had in my drafts for well over a year,, enjoy? based of s1
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Crime rates had never been higher, gangs ravaging the city any opportunity they got dealing class A narcotics and carrying out random acts of violence. No one leaves their houses at night, as soon as the sun sets the streets would empty and complete anomie would take place. One ‘gang’ were set above the rest, they were practically the equivalent of the mafia, all dressed in a smartly pressed uniform and operating throughout the entire city, the Umbrella Academy. Rumour has it they all had ‘powers’ of some sort, making them the most powerful gang, even if they didn’t have their ‘powers’ they would still be in the lead having very high levels of violence between them.
The Umbrella Academy all had nicknames, a mere murmur of the said names would send people running like scared dogs, tails between their legs. The most feared of the Umbrella Academy was The Boy, just as him name suggested he was the one no one knew anything about, yes there was rumours but never any solid facts. The Boy had apparently travelled to the future, has a kill count of hundreds and can appear in a flash of blue from thin air, but these are just mad rumours that drift round town.
Dusk set upon the city but you didn’t notice, too busy finishing bouquets in your shop. You ran a small florists on the outskirts of the town, you never caused any trouble and had never stayed late until today. You glanced out the window and gasped, looking at the pitch black sky, feeling your heart rate increase at the thought of walking four blocks in the gang ridden town. As quickly as you could you close the shop, making sure the doors were locked and the solid metal shutters were firmly shut. You leave by the back door, locking it and closing the shutter yet again, not leaving your small life source of a shop to the vengeance of raging gangs who carry out pointless crimes.
Shadows hid your small frame as you quickly walked home, defenceless, hoping to miss anyone out at the late hours of the night. Unfortunately, luck was not playing on your side, from the shadows you could make out a group of lads making their way threateningly down the street. All you could do is pray that you wouldn’t get spotted in the dark shadows.
“Well what do we have here?” You quickened your pace somehow thinking that you could move away from them but you were wrong. You were surrounded like you were feeding bread to a flock of seagulls, if the seagulls were feral and had rabies it would mirror how afraid you were at that moment. 
“Sorry!” Is all you were able to squeak out as you were roughly pulled out from the safeness of the dark into the centre of the group, your bag getting ripped off your back. Your frozen, watching them go through the contents of your bad, dumping out all your papers and pens that you had in your bag until finally finding your purse. “Please don’t it’s all I have.” 
As soon as the words left your mouth you were on the ground, a numbing pain shooting through the side of your head, you could see heavy droplets of blood hit the floor as your nose bled from the impact. Another sharp impact landed against your ribs as a sob wracked through your shaking body, unable to comprehend how quickly the events had escalated, all you could do now is wait for the next impact but it never came.
“Hey, assholes!” The voice was crisp and sharp, dripping with confidence and authority. “Pick on someone your own size.”
Coins fell to the floor as the gang dropped your bag and your purse and ran, you couldn’t even look up, the thought of someone more threatening than an entire group sent shivers down your hurt body. You didn’t hear footsteps, all you saw from your peripheral vision a blue light and a dark figure. The rustling sound of papers cut through the silent street and the harsh zip of your bag startled you.
“You need to see someone about that.” You look up and were met with none other than The Boy, the most questioned of the Umbrella Academy, dressed in a smart uniform, domino mask securely covering his identity. His fingertips lightly brushed the side of your head, causing you to flinch away. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said unconvincingly, emotions hidden by the mask.
He held your now packed bag out to you, you lifted yourself off the floor, wincing as you did so. You cautiously took your bag from The Boys hand, holding it loosely in your hand. Taking a step, you stumble, your side collapsing in on it’s self, The Boy caught you, putting his arm around your waist to steady you.
“Here, let me help you home, where do you live?” In your shattered state you told him, and in a blink of blue you were at your door. You messily fumble with your keys as your shaking hands roughly push your door open, dropping your bag into your small apartment.
“Thank you.” The mask clad boy stood before you, hands in his shorts pockets.
“It’s okay,” You couldn’t see his eyes but you knew they were scanning over your body. “Make sure to get your injuries checked over, they got you pretty hard y/n.” Then he was gone.
You lock your door and double check your windows, securing them before limping over to your bathroom, looking at your beaten form in the mirror. Red marks spread over your face and the side of your body, bruising already starting to form, blood stained your white patterned shirt with a now ruined name tag, the thought of work taking over your thoughts, well not all of your thoughts. The Boy was also on your thoughts, his cold emotionless face, half covered by a domino mask, contrasted with the softness of his words, the caring nature of his touch. He’s a crime lord, a dangerous man, yet he showed kindness to you.
Five was angry, he was angry with himself that he didn’t get there quick enough to stop them hurting y/n. She was the only pure thing left in the city and they went for her, defenceless. Five would’ve killed them on the spot if he didn’t want to hurt y/n any more than she already was. He wasn’t actively going out of his way to find y/n, she was sunshine in a grey and broken world.
“Five,” He hadn’t even finished teleporting into his room before Luther started speaking. “We’re not meant to be out on the streets. What were you doing?” Luther’s big frame towered over Five, attempting to threaten him.
“I was out doing what were meant to be doing, keeping our authority through the streets. Haven’t you heard that they’ve been saying we’re weak.” Five snarled at his brother prompting Luther to sigh then walk out. It wasn’t always like this, they could’ve been heroes but Mr Hargreeves only saw the darkness and the powers within them, he made them the best at being the worst and for some it was the end of the line.
An aching agony wracked through your fragile body as your head pounded like a thousand drummers sounding the beating retreat. You hoped a shower would ease any of the pain, warm water running over all of your bruises, the side of your body looking like a black and blue watercolour along your ribs. Your work clothes were just casual, simple, it was one of the upsides of owning your own business. However, you did have an apron, it had different flowers embroidered on it and a simple name tag. A name tag now covered in blood.
Quiet music softly played in the background of your flower shop, you swept the floor in time to the music, swaying your hips as you did so. Heading back to the storage room, you heard the bell to the shop chime, a welcoming noise. 
“Hey, how can I help?” The man seemed startled, looking up at the arrangement of bouquets and flashing a quick smile.
“I’d like some flowers for my mom,” He almost hesitated with his words, a soft peach colour present on his cheeks. “I saw your shop yesterday and couldn’t remember the last time anyone had got her any.” 
“Awe, that’s super sweet, have any of the bouquets caught your fancy or does she have a flower preference?” The boy in front of you was about the same age as you, maybe older, he had sharp features but they were even out by the softness of his eyes.
He thought for a moment, searching the deepest parts of his brain. “Lilies, she likes lilies.” You smile at his words before looking round your small, compacted shop for any pre-made bouquets. 
“We don’t have any made up right now but if you come back,” You look at the clock, thinking about a convenient time for him to come back. “In about 2 hours I’ll have one made up for you?” You give him a sweet smile as he nods. “Great! If you want you can leave your name and number so I can text you when its done.” 
You watch him messily write his details on a post it note. Peeling it off the block, you stick it to your notice board, looking at his name as you did so. Five. “I’ll send you a text once your bouquets done!”
“Ok, thank you,” He hesitated as he strained to read your name tag. “Y/n.”
“No problem, Five.” You see a small smile break out on his face as he left the shop. The rest of your day dragged as a slow drip of customers drifted in and out of the shop. You made a large bouquet of different types of lilies for Five, taking extra care to arrange them in the prettiest way you could, making it extra special for his mom. 
You admire your handy work, loving when you get special orders being able to be as creative as you want. You send a text to Five saying that he can drop in any time from now until closing to pick them up, you get an almost instant response sending his thanks. 
Shouting echoed down the street, sharp crashing of glass cutting through the air. Smoke drifted like ghosts down the street as screams echoed down the road of people coughing, spluttering grasping for breath. Peering out your shop window you saw them again, the lads from the night before, petrol bombs in hand ready to throw. You had to consider you options, quick, close the shutters quickly and run out the back or just run out and risk that they recognise you.
Quickly, you pulled the shutters down as you hear the unruly lads shouting get louder, you think your safe but then you remember the window upstairs, wide open, vulnerable. Taking two steps at a time but you were halfway to the window and heard a ‘get the flower shop’.
A flame like a rabid hare shot past you, shattering on the ground followed by another, hitting the window dead on surrounding you in flame, no escape in a smoke filling room. Smoke licked the walls as smoke danced in your lungs, making you feel lightheaded, blurring you vision. The floor burnt as you dropped to your knees, trying to take in any remaining oxygen, begging for your eyes not to close.
As Five walked back to the flower shop only to be met with shouting, screaming and sirens, noticing the smoke in the air he quickened his pace, only to break out into a sprint at the sight of the small flower shop in flames. He couldn’t see y/n out in the street in front of the shop, in a blind panic he blipped into the shop, looking round and seeing smoke pouring down the stairs, dread filling his body. In a blink of an eye he was in the burning room, finding y/n unconscious on the floor, he grabbed her body and as quickly as he could in the haze of the smoke.
He flashed to the academy, roughly shaking y/n shoulder. “Y/n,” He checked she was still breathing. “y/n please. Wake up. Mom!” Grace came round the corner, watching her son frantically shake an unconscious body.
“What’s wrong, dear?” Grace’s calming voice did nothing to sooth the panicking boy, she looked at the girls flame licked skin. “Take her to the medical room, Five.” Without another word Five had flashed upstairs, Grace beginning jogging up the stairs wrapping her medical apron around her as she did.
You gasp awake, proceeding to cough up whatever smoke settled in your lungs. You didn’t recognise the room around you, it didn’t look like any normal hospital, or even a hospital at all. Panicking at the foreign surroundings you drag yourself out of the bed, body screaming out at the heat in your arms and palms from the fire, the fire, your shop. Before even having time to comprehend the series of unfortunate events that led you up to this point, a woman walked in, sending heaving 1950/60′s vibe.
“Hello dear, I’m Grace.” Grace had a soft voice but it didn’t sound quite right, it sounded almost robotic, not human.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.” You pushed past her and hope to find a way out of the large eerie house you were in. Panic mode overtook your whole body as you tried to find any way out, footsteps echoing behind you as Grace tried to catch up with you but you saw the front door and ran for it.
“My dear, you can’t go yet!” But you had already ran out the door, it being left wide open behind you, sprinting down the street probably looking like a madman but in that moment it didn’t matter to you, you had to get out.
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