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yee-fxcking-haw · 3 years

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What Are You?

A/N: All I have to say is I'm really proud of this fic, so much freaking fun to write. I am hopelessly devoted to Kirishima. Please let me know what you think! For the tags, I just tagged those that interacted with the post I made about starting this series, if you wanted added or removed just let me know!

Summary: A movie night gets a little out of hand, next thing you know you're losing your virginity to Kirishima.

Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima x FemReader (you) both aged up 18+

Warnings: First time, virginity loss, virgin reader, experienced Kirishima, LOTS of consent, oral (female receiving) size kink, daddy kink, rough sex, spanking, choking, belly buldge, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, degredation, dumbification if you squint, very mushy aftercare in the shower, I think that's all of them lmao.

Word Count: 9,304

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The movie you had started is long forgotten, the sounds fading into white noise as your eyelids drift shut. Your body feels like lead, and your brain is quickly turning off. You feel like you could melt into the bed and stay there for several days. You snuggle into Kirishima a little more, barely processing the contented hum he lets out when you do.

"You fallin' asleep sweetheart?" He mumbles against the top of your head, finishing his sentence with a gentle kiss.

"Nah, just resting my eyes." You lie, very aware of how quickly sleep is overtaking your exhausted body.

"Want me to drive you home?" He asks, one hand coming up so he can run his fingers through your hair.

You just shake your head weakly, not ready to remove yourself from his warmth. You really just want to stay, but you two haven't really crossed that line yet. You've been dating for a few months now, but you move painfully slow. You blame it on your lack of experience over all. Being a virgin in your first relationship has definitely come with a lot of caution and slow progress.

Kirishima has been absolutely incredible though, always letting you set the pace, always asking questions, and offering reassurance when needed. You've both definitely had some close calls though, with how much time you spend together and how irresistible he is, it's been hard to keep your hands off of him. You've had your fair share of handsy makeout sessions, but that's about it.

Today does feel a little different though, like there's been some kind of shift. Maybe it's the right time to take that next step, Kirishima has definitely proven himself to be worthy of your trust. You're confident that he would stop when needed, go as slow as you asked him to, and be there for you after.

As your mind races you wrap your arms around the wall of muscle beside you, cherishing the security his large body gives you. You sigh and shift your head so your chin is resting on his chest, allowing you to glance up at him. As always, you're floored by his beauty. His scarlet eyes meet yours as his lips twitch up into a fond smirk. He's definitely the rugged kind of handsome, small white scars litter his face from his few years of hero work.

The most noticeable scar is the one on his upper lip, about two inches in length as it travels up away from his pretty mouth. Your hand absentmindedly reaches up so you can run your thumb over it while you cup his face. He melts into your touch, turning to place a kiss on your palm. Your entire body lights up when he does, he's always giving you sweet little kisses, and you love it more than life itself.

"Whatcha lookin' at my busted face for?" He teases.

You smile coyly as you slide your leg around his hip, slowly bringing yourself up so you can straddle him. You slide your other hand up to hold his face as well, leaning down to press a kiss into his forehead.

"It's a beautiful face." You whisper as you sit back up so you can look down at him again.

God, the sight of him. Wild crimson hair falling across the pillow, stunning porcelain skin offering a marvelous contrast. Your hands slide down his neck, to his collar bones, then down his clothed torso. You mentally curse the black t-shirt that's currently hiding his skin from you, even though he looks incredible in it.

"What are you thinking about hon?" He asks quietly.

Your eyes flash up to his and he gives you a knowing look.

Does he feel it too? You've had plenty of long talks about it, he's always been open about how much he wants to make sure it's a safe experience. He offers you nothing but stability and assurance. The nerve wracking part is that he's so experienced. You're not jealous that he's been with people before you, just worried that you won't live up to them. Kiri has always been very open about his past relationships, just like you have with yours. It's just a matter of finding the confidence to take the next step.

"Oh, you're thinking too much." He says quietly, grabbing your hands to pull them apart.

You hadn't even realized you'd begun to pick at your thumb, but of course he's paying attention.

"Can I stay?" You blurt out, sounding a little too panicked.

"You can always stay." He says as he wraps his arms around your waist, then brings his mouth to press innocent kisses into your neck.

"Baby?" You say, hands carding through his hair.

He only hums, lips still working against your sensitive skin.

"Can we try?" You ask quietly.

Your eyes lock, tension builds, and hands tighten as you both silently understand your heavy implications.

"Are you sure?" He asks with all the sincerity he has.

"I love you, Kiri, I trust you." You breathe out, letting your head fall to rest your forehead against his own.

"If you need me to stop at any point you tell me, understand?" He says with a tone you can't quite decipher. It could be called firm, but that's not exactly right… convicted, he sounds convicted.

"Of course, Red." His body responds to his hero name in the most beautiful way. Muscles tense as he takes a deep breath in, steady arms pull your body towards his. Very suddenly, but some also not soon enough, your lips are on his. Brilliant, rose colored warmth spreads through your veins as he kisses the breath out of your lungs.

"Can I lay you on your back?" He asks against your lips.

"Please." You sigh.

In one swift movement, he scoops you into his arms and spins you around so he can lay you gently on the mattress. One hand stays on your waist, while the other comes up to hold your face.

"I love you, you know that right?" He asks, when you look into his eyes your heart aches when you see all the begging in them.

"Kiri, I've never been more sure of anything." You assure him.

He gives you his thousand watt smile and you can't help but return it. This man is something else. He's the kind that lights up a room, that gives when he's empty, and loves relentlessly. Most of all, he's completely, inexplicably yours.

Your head spins when he dips his head down to kiss your collar bones.

"I'm gonna get you real worked up, ok?" He says then presses one long kiss into your shoulder.

Excitement blasts through your veins. What a beautiful promise he's just made, and you can't wait for him to live up to his word.

"I need you to tell me what feels good." He whispers against your skin as his hands come up so push your tank top up your torso.

"Ok." You reply, cursing yourself for how basic the response is. He's probably used to people who can dirty talk like no tomorrow, and all you can manage are weak one word responses.

"You're thinkin' too much honey." He says with a deep chuckle, his hands halt once he has the fabric bunched at your ribs.

"Talk to me." He says.

"I'm just nervous. Insecurities and all that, worried I won't live up to other people. You know, stupid virgin thoughts." You stumble through the sentence, barely articulating the nerves buzzing around in your abdomen.

"Listen to me." Kiri says with his firm, guiding tone.

"It's just you now. Not them, never will be them again." He brings one of your hands up so he can kiss your knuckles.

"You're my girl, that's all that's on my mind."

The reassurance is short and sweet, but Kiri is always like that with his words. He says it like it is, but there's always immeasurable heart behind what he says, so it's enough to still your nerves.

"Can I make you feel good now?" He asks, face slightly mischievous.

"I think you know the answer." You can't help but giggle when his fingers meet your ribs again to finish taking off your tank top.

Soon he's got you panting and grasping at the sheets. Your clothes are long gone, and he is definitely staying true to his promise to get you worked up. Rough hands are on your waist, while his hot, wet mouth trails across the tops of your breasts. The more time he spends kissing your body, the easier it is to let the nerves die out. Every ounce of uncertainty vanishes the second his soft lips wrap around one of your nipples.

"Oh, baby." You sigh, back arching slightly.

"Like that?" He asks, breaking only briefly. Soon his mouth is back on you, tongue drawing lazy circles around your sensitive buds.

"Yeah…" You find yourself wishing you could respond better again, but your mind is mush.

"How bout this?" He asks as he slides his other hand up to pinch your other nipple.

You rub your thighs together to try and alleviate some of the pressure building in your core. You have to be embarrassingly soaked at this point. After just a few seconds of nipple play, you're already throbbing and it's maddening.

"Kiri." You groan, the friction of his fingers contrasting wonderfully with the smooth movements of his tongue.

You want to feel him everywhere, you want to be overwhelmed by him. The way his tongue is working, you can only imagine him using it somewhere else.

"K-kiri?" You say with a shuddering breath.

"Yeah angel?" He answers, his hand still playing with you a little.

"Lower, please?" Your voice is so shy and timid, and you feel the hot blush spread across your cheeks.

"You're so fuckin' cute." He mumbles before planting an open mouthed kiss between your breasts.

With the same slow, teasing pace, he kisses down your stomach. He stops right under your belly button and glances up at you through his lashes. He's fucking stunning from this angle, but you've found that he really doesn't have a bad angle.

"I'm gonna try something, ok? Tell me how it makes you feel." He says calmly.

"Aye Aye Captain." You say, earning a sweet little chuckle from Kiri.

Any motivation you have to joke is thrown out the window when he nips your sensitive skin. The brief pain sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your pussy, and your walls clench immediately.

"How was that?" He asks, hands running along your hips as he settles between your spread legs.

"More please." Is all you can squeak out.

Kirishima just smiles and kisses where he's just nipped.

"In a little bit baby."

You become suddenly aware of how exposed you are and you're plagued with thoughts of insecurity. As if he can read your mind, Kiri places a kiss to your inner thigh.

"Can I please taste you, your pussy is so fuckin pretty." He sighs against your skin.

Oh yeah, you have to be absolutely dripping. His words have you clenching around nothing, you're so worked up you're worried you might finish as soon as he makes contact with your core.

"Fuck- please Kiri- use your mouth on me." You moan, shocked by your own boldness.

"Oh good girl, keep talkin' to me." He sighs.

Without any further warning his mouth is just all over you. No gentle kisses around your clit like you expected, not teasing fingers on your lips. Just as sudden, blinding pleasure rocketing through your walls as his skilled tongue laps at your sensitive, swollen clit.

"Kiri! Shit!" You cry as your hands find a place in his hair, desperate to hold onto something that can keep you grounded.

"Baby, I'm too sensitive, I'm not gonna- oh fuuuuck." You try to warn him, but the words never stood a chance at leaving your mouth. In the middle of your sentence, he presses one thick finger into your slick hole, and that spells the end for you. With how big Kiri is, his finger might as well be the size of an average man's dick, and it feels incredible. You can't hold it in, and you don't fucking want to. Between the constant, white hot pleasure he's giving your clit, and the sudden intrusion of his finger, your inexperienced body never stood a chance.

"Fuck that was gorgeous." He huffs against your cunt.

Your walls flutter their way through your orgasm, warmth oozing into all of your appendages as Kirishima slows his tongue down enough for you to ride out all of the aftershocks.

You gather enough strength to look down at him, and your blissed out brain wants to shred the shirt he's wearing. Your hands reach down desperately to grab the collar of his shirt in an attempt to pull it off.

"Where'd my shy girl go?" He teases before helping you get rid of his bothersome clothes.

"She left when you made her cum in under a minute." You share a soft laugh with each other, but anything light-hearted disappears when you look down at his briefs and see the outline of his dick.

Kirishima isn't a small man, standing up he's roughly seven feet. You're a relatively average sized woman, but you still feel like a dwarf next to him. Judging by the outline in his underwear, he's definitely proportionate, and the terrifying realization that he's probably not even all the way hard yet makes your stomach drop.

"You want that?" He asks coyly, red eyebrows shooting up as he grins down at you.

"It- it's gonna hurt, isn't it?" You stutter, hands balling up the bedding underneath you.

"It's gonna sting just a little bit, but I told you I'll get you worked up, and it'll only last a second princess." He kisses your nose for reassurance, putting your bubbling chest at ease for a moment.

"Can I- um- can I touch you? Please?" Again, you want to kick yourself for sounding so bashful, but Kiri seems to be incredibly fond of it.

"Of course you can, wherever you want to." He whispers, he leans down to brace on his elbows, his breathtaking body closing the remaining distance between you two. With him looming above you like this, you feel absolutely tiny, like if he put his weight on you it might crush you. Something tells you tomorrow is probably going to consist of a lot of bed rest.

You cautiously slide your hands over his carved abs, adoring the way his muscles tense under your feathery touches. Your eyes stay locked on his and your heart blooms with exhilaration. Your hands travel down his body until your fingertips brush the waistband of his briefs. Kiri takes in a sharp breath when you dip your fingers under the material. You steal a glance down, and you can't help but let your jaw drop.

He's gotta be the size of your forearm, at least. Shit, how the hell are you gonna fucking take that? You remind yourself that Kiri promised it would only hurt for a second, that he would take care of you. You trust him, completely.

He helps you slide his briefs off, and when he's finally free it makes you see stars. His full length falls against your stomach, and he feels so damn heavy. His base is resting against your mound, and his head meets your belly button. His skin is nothing short of beautiful, soft pink tip with a pale shaft littered with veins.

"Holy shit." You pant, your hand looks pathetic when you go to wrap it around his swollen tip.

"It might sting more than a little." You whisper.

"I'll make it feel good, I promise." He says with all the confidence in the world.

He's so unbelievably hard and your hand can't reach all the way around him. There's about an inch and a half between your middle finger and thumb where they should meet. You never thought you'd be so intimidated by a simple body part, but then again, this is Red Riot you're dealing with.

Before you can stroke him, Kiri is grabbing your wrist as he shifts to lean on his side next to you.

"Next time angel, tonight's about you." He says before kissing the skin behind your ear.

His hand lets go of your wrist so he can skate his fingertips down your stomach. As soon as he brushes your clit your body jumps, still so sensitive from the sudden orgasm he's just given you. You take in deep breaths as your legs shift anxiously while he dips his fingers down so he can run them up your soaked lips.

"You're so wet for me." He sighs against your neck.

"Kiri- please- make me feel good again." You whimper, desperate for his touch.

"Gonna stretch you out a little bit, ok? Gotta get you ready to take me." He mumbles as he presses his middle finger into your quivering hole again.

There's no way you can respond, all ability to speak is stolen from you when he starts to pump his massive finger in and out of you.

There's no stretch with just one finger, it's no bigger than the toy you usually use on yourself, the stretch comes when he adds his index finger to the mix. It doesn't sting, but there's definitely some pressure. You screw your eyes shut and reach for his forewarn as he picks up speed, needing something to hold onto as the pleasure builds in your lower stomach again.

Then, the spectacular feeling of his thumb pressing against your clit makes you cry out. You're shocked by the broken moan that rips out of your throat, and the way your hips roll against his hand while he starts rubbing urgent circles against your sweet spot.

"That's it baby, tell me about it." He pants against your shoulder, it almost sounds like he's cheering you on, voice filled with something joyful that makes your heart race impossibly faster.

"Kiri- that feels so fucking good- shit."

Your cunt starts to pulse around him like it did a few minutes ago, your body is already right on the edge again by his capable fingers.

"D- da- Kiri." You moan, you almost fucking slip. You want nothing more than to call him 'daddy', that's what he is to you right now. You don't know how he'll respond to it, so you swallow the name and cry out against his broad chest.

He seems to have caught you though, both his thumb and his fingers pick up their speed slightly.

"Say it, please baby, say it- fuck." He begs against your head, offering you the room to call him whatever you want to.

Your hand claws at his arm, the other reaches up to hold onto his sweaty neck.

"Daddy, please make me cum again, your fingers feel so good." Your voice increases in pitch the more you beg, he sets a delicious rhythm then, reacting immediately to your pleas.

"You wanna be a good girl for me?" He asks as he shifts so his free hand can cradle your face.

You nod weakly as your abs starts to seize up and your core starts to clamp down on his pistoning fingers.

"Look at me." He huffs, your eyes flutter open to meet his.

Kirishima has a habit of knocking the wind out of you with his beauty, but he damn near kills you this time. He's positively enchanting with the blush on his cheeks, brows furrowed as he focuses on bringing you to your second orgasm.

"Cum for me one more time angel, then I'm gonna fill you up, gonna fuck your pretty little cunt." His voice is dripping with desire, and his vulgar words are all it takes to send you right into another trembling orgasm. Your body twitches and jerks as your core squeezes his fingers. He stops thrusting them into you and focuses all his energy on rubbing your clit with his thumb, making everything so much more intense.

You moan and shake against him as he whispers things like "good girl, just like that" against your ear while you come back down.

All you want is more, so much more. There's no such thing as nerves now. You have tunnel vision for Kiri and the pleasure he's giving you. Even after two orgasms, all you want is more, more, more.

"Daddy please- fuck my little cunt- fill me up like you promised." You grab at him wherever you can, you almost second guess your dirty talk, but Kiri eats that shit up.

"You sound so pretty begging for me princess. You want me to fuck you, huh? Want Daddy to make you cry?" Everything about his demeanor has a sense of urgency to it. Not like he's rushing, but like he's handling something vitally important.

You just nod and whimper, it's all you're capable of after being rocked by two incredible orgasms. He's moving so he can settle between your legs again, and his weighty length hits your stomach again.

"Listen to me sweetheart." He says, voice shaking slightly at the end.

"I'm gonna let you put it in ok? I want you to tell me when to move and when to stop, we can even stop here if you need to." He moves his hands to hold your face, thumbs brushing your cheek bones affectionately.

"I don't want you to stop, I want more Kiri, please." You say, completely confident in your decision to keep going.

"Then it's all you babygirl." He smiles down at you, all warmth and adoration.

You swallow thickly and reach down to grab his pink head, nearly drooling when you see the ridiculous amount of precum leaking out of his tip.

You tentatively spread it around with your thumb, the appendage barely stretches across the width of his massive cock. Kiri's breath speeds up above you as you move your hand around his head so you can push him down between your legs. Now, with a clear view of him, he's definitely the size of your forearm. Nerves are replaced by excitement, knowing that once he's inside you and your body adjusts to him, it'll feel absolutely amazing.

Kirishima shifts above you so he can brace on his hands as he placed them on either side of your face. All his intricate muscles shift under his pale skin, he's so broad and handsome, it makes your head spin.

With very little skill, you run his tip along you dripping lips, and both of you jolt as the erotic contact.

"That feels good baby, nice and slow." His words egg you on, a fuzzy feeling buzzes around in your chest when you hear him praise you, it's something else you just want more of.

His head teases over your silky hole as you slide him further down, his fingers definitely got you worked up, but it's still gonna be one hell of a tight fit.

"Can you- um- could you move your hips forward a little?" You ask with a shaking voice, your body is sparking with the anticipation of having him fill you, and you know he won't be able to slide in unless he helps by pushing.

"Want me to help you put it in?" He asks, his voice sounds so light and breathy.

"Please?" You blink up at him.

"Just keep talkin' to me, yeah?" He pants out.

"Ye- Oh fuck Daddy!" What's meant to be a quiet answer, turns into an erotic cry. Your body shivers as the name slips from your lips and your hands fly to his sides. He didn't give you a single second to respond before pressing himself into you, and it definitely hurts more than a little. The sting of the stretch is almost enough to make you tap out, but then you feel his thumb dragging against your clit again. It gives you just enough pleasurable relief to catch your breath.

"Sorry angel, had to get that part over with." He says before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Red, baby, please-" You choke on a moan when his thumb speeds up and he presses even more of his length into you.

"Please what?" He teases.

He can't even be a third of the way in, and you feel like you're completely stuffed. Your walls are being stretched to what feels like their absolute limit. Now you know why he gave you two orgasms beforehand, you need to be absolutely drenched in order to take him. Even then, it's almost impossible.

You glance down to see how much more you have to take. Fucking hell, it looks like it's just his head that's in.

"Tell me what you need, gorgeous." He applies slightly more pressure to your clit, but slows the pace down.

"More." You mewl, despite the pressure on your poor, tense insides.

"I'll tell you if it's too much, just keep going, please Daddy." Your hands paw at his back, desperate for him to move.

"Fuck baby- you're gonna be such a mess by the time I'm done with you."

You don't have any time at all to catch your breath or answer him. The sting is almost blazing as he pushes his hips towards yours. The dizzying sensation of his veiny cock dragging against your slick walls is enough to bring tears to your eyes. You whimper and sniffle beneath him while every muscle in your body tenses.

Then, you remember to breathe. You pull in a long, cooling breath, and on the release let your muscles relax. You look up at Kiri to see him looking down to where your bodies meet, mesmerized by the way he's splitting you open. He looks so wrapped up in his love for you, which only allows you to let go of more tension.

He keeps pressing into you, little by little pain is replaced by a warm ache, that warm ache then replaced by traces of something pleasurable. The hand pressing lazy circles into your clit slides up to grab your wrist. His bright eyes flash up to your as he brings your hand down to the bundle of nerves.

"Rub it for me, baby." He whispers before kissing your temple, his deep, rumbling voice makes your thighs squeeze his hips.

"O- ok." You fumble your words slightly.

"Is that how you answer Daddy?" He trails his open mouth down to the skin just above your collarbone, then teases the delicate skin with his pointed teeth.

Holy shit.

"Yes- yes sir?" You say, head spinning as you try to focus even a little bit. Your hand haplessly moves against your clit, wanting to listen but your motor skills are rendered useless by Kiri's dominance.

"Mhm, good girl." He praises before sinking his teeth into the spot he's been teasing.

Your entire body jumps, reacting exactly how he wants you to. All twitches and moans as he guides you through this.

"You're so fucking tight." He sighs, eyes fluttering shut as he pushes in just a little more.

"Well yeah, you're the size of a house and I'm a virgin." You say with a weak laugh.

If you and Kiri can do anything, it's laugh.

He looks down at you and raises his eyebrows, and he can't help but giggle in that beautiful chirpy way he always does. You take his hands in your face and bring him down for a messy, laugh filled kiss. Blinding love fills your chest, hearing him laugh, feeling him breathe, being this close. It's all giving you such unparalleled joy.

He breaks the kiss to press his forehead into yours, then he really starts moving. What started as another round of giggles turns into a moan as he stretches you more and more. Your hands grab onto his neck as your eyes screw shut and your head is thrown back into the pillows. The pressure is positively mind numbing in the best way. All you can feel, smell, and taste is Kirishima as he rocks your world.

“Fucking hell, Kiri.” You gasp before rolling your hips up against him, finally feeling somewhat stretched out enough to work with him.

“Oh now you’re gettin’ it, keep movin’ with me sweetheart.” He nods his head while he talks, urgent and reassuring.

He continues his glacial pace, finally bottoming out with the help of your needy hips rising to meet his. God, you feel so fucking full. You swear you can feel him in your stomach, in your ribs, in your throat even. He’s not leaving a single inch of you untouched, and you’re absolutely hooked. You gather yourself enough to open your eyes again so you can look down at where you two meet, almost nervous to find that he really isn’t all the way in even though you feel like you’re going to break at any second.

“Holy. Shit.” As soon as you glance down, your eyes meet the most erotic sight you’ve ever witnessed. There’s a large bulge in your stomach, that is very obviously caused by one thing. Kiri smirks above you as he runs a hand up your side so he can gather your breast in his hand and tease your nipple with his thumb.

“Ain’t that somethin’?” He muses, sliding his hand back down to grab your wrist so he can move your hand over the stretched out part of your stomach.

“Feels good doesn’t it baby? I’m right there, that’s all me.” He presses your hand into the bulge, and the feeling of his head under your skin, combined with the pressure on your cervix and against your walls, nearly sends you into another orgasm. Your walls flutter around him as your bottom lip quivers.

That’s when you see the tension in his body, you hear the strain in his voice. He’s holding back, he’s going easy on you.

Your walls are relaxing, growing used to the obscene stretch. You take a deep breath and focus on releasing any other muscles that might make it harder for him to do what he needs to. As you settle, you bat your eyelashes at him. You offer another small roll of your hips before egging him on with your needy words.

“Daddy, please, you’re not gonna break me, fuck me like you want to.”

He gives you a very serious, almost stern look. It doesn’t help ease your need for him in the slightest, it only makes you want to push more.

“I’ll tell you if it hurts, I promise, please just fuck me."

His whole body shivers when you run your nails across his shoulders.

"Baby you gotta, if you don't tell me I'm gonna keep rockin', I don't want to hurt you."

You nod and swallow thickly, your body is absolutely buzzing with the anticipation.

"Words sweet thing, use your words. You'll tell me if it hurts, yeah?" He brings his hips back, and the drag of his cock along your walls is exquisite. He only moves maybe an inch, but the tease sends you reeling.

"Yes Daddy, I'll tell you." Your promise is said so sweetly, the way you trust him so completely sends him over the edge.

Just like that, your entire world shatters. He pulls back slowly, just to send his hips flying forward with one brutal thrust. It doesn't hurt, but there's so much fucking pressure once he's all the way pressed in. Your head is sent back into the pillows, thrashing wildly as you cry out and cling to his tense back. He doesn't stay there long though, only pausing briefly to savor the feeling of being fully wrapped in your hot, wet cunt.

"Open those legs for me princess." Kiri pants above you as he pulls back again.

You realize how much you've tensed up after his words pull you back down to earth. Your thighs had clamped around his hips like a vice. Slowly, you breathe in, then drop your legs open when you breathe out.

Then he sticks to his promise, and he starts rockin'. He sets a beautiful pace, it's not rushed or hard, not slow or teasing, it's just fucking perfect. He plunges into you over and over, deep and persistent. He hits every sweet spot you have, from your sensitive opening to your aching cervix. You mewl and twitch under him, your whole body being jolted every time he bottoms out.

"You're doin' so good baby, bein' such a good girl for Daddy." His voice breaks as he picks up speed, splitting you open completely.

It's turning your brain to total mush, all you can manage is a half ass "uh-huh" while your body moves like a ragdoll. You feel so full, and it feels so fucking good. It's all so foreign, so much, so overwhelming. Now that you're feeling it though, the feeling of being well and truly fucked, all you want is more.

The pressure just keeps building at your core, brilliant and warm. Sending electric shocks down the nerves in your legs, up your stomach, even through your fingertips. He's everywhere inside you, filling your mind and soul, you're drunk on Kirishima and more than willing to become addicted.

You blink open and grapple at his damp sides, as soon as you see your body being pounded into the bed, you feel your walls begin to tighten. Can you even call it that? You're so stretched out by him it's hard to tell if you're even capable of tightening around him.

Kiri sure seems to notice though, letting out short, pretty moans from the back of his throat each time he sinks in. Then you both see it, your eyes lock on it, both under a perverted trance. Each time he thrusts all the way in, your stomach buldges out a little, his incredible size displacing your insides as he fucks into you.

"God that's- fuck baby- you see that?" He stutters out, placing his massive hand on your waist so he can lay his thumb over your stomach and feel his cock head poking out from inside of you.

All you can do is gawk up at him and let your body be jostled by him as he continues to break in your body.

"How's it feel angel?" He asks, voice gentle and coaxing.

"So. Good. Daddy- fuck." You stutter out, the words come out choppy, cut off as you jolt from his pace.

"You feel so perfect, so fucking perfect." He mutters before diving down to press his open mouth to your neck.

He attempts to kiss you there, but all he can manage is a sloppy, inconsistent tongue against your skin. With his mouth open, you can hear all his sweet moans unabashed, and it's fucking beautiful.

A particularly broken sounding moan reaches your ears as Kiri grabs the meat of your thighs with his strong hands, angling your legs upwards a little more. His hands slide up to secure themselves under your knees, pressing them upwards he successfully folds you in half.

The tops of your thighs press into your sides as he braces himself up a little more, using your crumbled body as leverage. The second he sinks in from this new position, your thighs tremble and your cunt spasms. You cry out as your hands fly to his abs, almost pushing him back, overwhelmed by the intensity.

Overwhelmed, but so enraptured. Tears prick your eyes as you watch every muscle of his ripple as he works hard to fuck you this relentlessly.

"Talk to me sweetheart, how's it feel?" He asks, voice strained and unsteady.

"Feels- so- fuckin- good- Daddy." You all but sob, blinking the tears from your eyes as your jaw drops.

"You're such a good little girl, you look so pretty on your back."

His words hit a nerve you didn't know you had. The filthy praise, the sounds of his hot skin slapping yours with each thrust, the crushing grip he has on you, it's all awakening something deep in your chest. More, you need more.

"M-more- fuck- please give me more- I'm so close." Is all you can manage as the tears start to fall, wetting your rosey cheeks.

"Shit- give it to me baby, let go, I'll fuck you through it, just let go." He eggs you on. One of his arms shifts to hook your knee over his elbow as he sets the other beside your head to brace himself.

As soon as he releases that one leg, bending the other up even more as his thumb gets to work drawing figure eights on your clit, it's fucking over. You shiver and sob and claw. The most spectacular sensation you've ever felt takes over your entire body.

It captures every inch of your skin, wrapping it in velvety ecstasy. Your nerves shatter like glass, sending shards of pleasure flying in every direction. You can feel it up your spin, in the backs of your legs, and deep down in your chest.

Your body goes limp as your walls pulse around him, and he sure does fuck you through it. Your head flops back as you take it all, cherishing every sharp hit to your abused cervix.

"Gimme one more princess, I'm almost there." He moans, pulling your brain out of its stew.

You blink up at him, finally realizing how hard you're crying. As soon as you make eye contact, your heart nearly flies out of your ribcage. He's so fucking beautiful. Brows drawn together in a look of pure determination, skin dewy and flushed, bright ruby eyes looking at you like you hung the stars.

"I love you- fuck Kiri- I love you, I love you, I love you." You babble, hands sliding up tangle in the hair at the back of his head.

His eyes flutter at the sensation, nearly rolling back into his head. Kirishima is a slut for gentle touches like that, a trait that makes your heart go all gooey.

"I love you so much more angel." He sighs, eyes full of fondness and what you can only describe as home.

He's still fucking going. Pounding into you just as before, and your cunt is somehow taking it so well. You feel made for him, nobody else.

"Poor baby." He says as he brings a hand up to your cheek to wipe some tears.

The slight mocking tone sets a fire in your belly, another feeling to add to the endless list of things you're learning about yourself tonight.

"Did Daddy fuck you too good? Can't help but fuckin' cry about it?" His voice is back to straining, shoulders drawing up again, like he's trying to hold back.

Oh hell no.

"Y- yes Daddy, fucked me so good, you ruined this little pussy." You shock yourself with the vulgarity of your words, almost embarrassed by it. It's short lived though, given the way Kiri huffs out a gorgeous, "oh fuck", as he buckels down on his thrust even more.

The sparks start to fire again as your nerves wind back up, not even fully recovered from your last orgasm.

The hand on your cheek twitches down, but halts once his thumb presses into your jaw. It all clicks when he looks into your eyes, a silent plea in them.

You don't waste a single second, nodding frantically as you seize his wrist. You bring his hand down so he can rest his palm against your throat.

"Please, I want it." You beg with a pathetic voice, sniffling at the end as more tears fall when you feel your walls start to contract again.

He looks almost relieved, eyebrows relaxing on his scrunched face as his shoulders drop. He tentatively presses his large thumb into your pulse before speaking with a harsh, authoritative voice. His hips slow only slightly, more rolling than thrusting now, but still just as deep, still just as jolting.

"If it's too much, at any point, you tap me three times, let me see you do it."

You offer three pats against the forearm of the hand on your throat, gazing up at him with pleading eyes, desperate for approval. Obviously, you've never done anything like this. Nothing even close, but with Kiri looking at you like you're made of porcelain, you'd trust him enough to try anything.

"Good fuckin' girl." His voice drops, a powerful, deep rumble as his hips start to work up speed again.

The hand teasing your throat starts to tighten, but not how you expect. There's little to no pressure on your actual throat, most of it is on the sides. His grip cuts off the blood flow enough to give you a wonderful, delirious feeling in your head. Your whole body reacts to the exhilarating sensation. You can't help but let out a strangled moan once Kiri reaches his previous pace once again.

He fucks into you so intently, chasing his own release now. Your muscles start to seize again, walls twitching as you moan out nonsense praises below him.

"Little baby likes bein' choked, huh?" He taunts, releasing his grip just enough for your head to fill up with clarity again.

Then it clicks, he's allowing you to respond, he wants you to.

"I do, I fuckin' love it." You assure him, your voice doesn't even sound like you anymore. All whiney and wanton, full of lust and desperation. That greedy feeling scratches at your insides again. It fills your chest with white hot need for something rougher, nastier, more shameful.

"Be mean to me, Daddy, make me your bitch."

It all happens so incredibly fast. Suddenly, Kiri fucking growls down at you as he rips himself from your overworked hole. The absence of his massive length makes you cry out, you want to argue but your words are stolen from you by his next move. His hands are on your waist in the blink of an eye. He flips you onto your stomach, the speed of the rotation makes you instantly dizzy.

He straddles the backs of your thighs. Rough, selfish hands slide up the backs of your thighs. He gathers the fat of your ass in his palms and squeezes, letting out a low chuckle when you jump at the harsh feeling.

"So, you wanna be my bitch?" He asks, the tone of his voice sends a chill down your spine. He sounds almost… sadistic?

You don't get a chance to answer before his palm cracks across your ass cheek.

You yelp and whip your head around to give him a pouting look as you wipe more of your tears. The sight of him makes your dripping pussy clench around nothing.

He's sat back on your thighs, almost lazily. He isn't truly sitting on you, though, he would absolutely crush you. He's just braced over you, one hand stroking his glistening cock as the other kneads as your plush ass.

You just nod as your hands stretch out in front of you, grasping at the pillows, the sheets, the headboard, anything you can get a hold of.

His eyes are wild, strands of scarlet hair stick to his forehead with sweat. His stunning, chiseled muscles all flex as he pumps himself. Seeing him like this, it hits that rebellious nerve. There's no such thing as first time nerves now, your Kirishima's bitch, and that's all you want to be.

"Please, give it to me Big Daddy." You bat your eyelashes and bring your thumb to your mouth so you can bite down on it.

His hand freezes, body rigid with what must be shock. The hand on your ass slides up your back at a torturous pace. Buzzing anticipation settles in your gut as he leans down so he can spread his finger through the hair at the back of your head. Gathering a handful, he tightens his grip so he can crank your head back.

The bite at your scalp distracts you just long enough for him to press his broad tip against your quivering hole again.

"You think you're cute, don't you?" He says, low and dangerous.

You just blink at him, brain firing wildly to try and process every new addiction you're developing. Slowly, cautiously, you shake your head.

"Oh but baby…" He leans down even more so he can press his lips under your ear.

"You are. You think you can say something like that and get away with it. It's adorable." As he talks, he presses his length into you. You would think that after being fucked for so long that your hole would have been more prepared for him. You're so fucking wrong. The stretch is just like it was when he first put it in, but this time you're so ready for it, you welcome it.

"When you talk like that, you're gonna get your shit rocked." He mumbles against your ear.

You feel his hands at your hips, then you feel him hoist you up so your ass is in the air and your face is in the pillows. Then, all you feel is a shockwave of pleasure as he rams into you from behind. Within seconds, he has you squirming and screaming as he decimates your cunt over and over again.

The hand buried in your hair pulls your head to the side so you can moan out into the air instead of into the pillows.

"What are you?" He asks, the hand that isn't in your hair snakes around your waist so he can bring your torso up and press your back against his chest.

The action has you reeling, because your knees lift off the bed in order for you to be high enough to be fucked in this position. That's not a problem for Kiri though, he easily holds you up with the arm around your waist. Your legs dangle as he falls forward, other hand leaving hair so he can brace on the headboard.

"Daddy asked you a question." He pants against your ear. Hips still snapping into you impossibly fast.

"I'm your bitch- fucking hell- I'm your little bitch." You cry out, tears falling as one arm flies to hold the back of his neck as the other grabs at the arm around your waist.

His fingers bite your side as he sinks his teeth into your shoulder. He moans as he soothes the mark with his hot tongue.

"That's right, you like it don't you? You like bein' a little cry baby for this fucking cock. Don't you baby?" His words are dripping with the most sinful tone, even without any attention to your clit, your cunt starts to dance around him once again. Just his voice, his voice and his nasty praises are enough to start another fucking orgasm.

"Oh I fuckin felt that- You really do want me to be mean, huh?"

"Please- oh fuck- please, Daddy, please!" You sob.

"'Please, Daddy, please.'" He says with a mocking tone, "I told you to use your words, brat." That does it, "brat", something clicks within you. It fills you with a sticky, sweet feeling. It's something more intriguing than anything else you've felt. Whatever the feeling is, you're absolutely starving for more of it.

"Use me, please, use my little hole, let me feel you cum." You finally conjure a reply, digging it up from your newly found well of obscene phrases.

"Shit, princess, I'm gonna- fuck-"

Your filthy words seem to be enough to send him into a frenzy. Again his hands are on your waist, pulling out just long enough to flip you onto your back before he plunges back into you after your back hits the mattress.

He's so rough and fast now, all desperate, harsh hands as he fucks and fucks and fucks.

"Look at me, fucking look at me." He grabs your jaw, eyes full of feral desire.

"I'm gonna fill you up, you're gonna take all of it aren't you? 'Cause you're a good little slut." He commands before letting his other hand fly to your clit as you nod and stutter out promises that you'll do as he says.

As soon as his fingers start rubbing, your body seizes. Your eyes stay on his, nails scratching down his back as you cry and shake and writhe.

"That's it- fuck yeah- that pussy's gonna make me cum- you're gonna make me fuckin' cum- SHIT!" His voice breaks at the end, a crackling shout as his hips falter and he sinks all the way into your silky walls.

Your eyes stay locked on each other's, he drops his forehead onto yours. The hand grasping your jaw moves to cup your face, his other hand coming up to mirror it so he can cradle your head.

This orgasm is much softer than the others, all fuzzy and warm as it oozes through your limbs. Kiri rolls his hips into you as his cock spits hot cum deep inside of you. You both shutter and moan, hands loosening you finally feel him fill you up. Something you should have probably expected, is just how much he cums. He pulses again and again and again as your walls massage him. He fills you so much that he leaks out around himself, inevitably ruining the sheets beneath you both.

The feeling is foreign, briefly uncomfortable, but it quickly becomes a comfort. As your bodies calm, his hips still with one final gush into you. His thumbs rub your cheeks, wiping the remaining tears.

"You ok?" He asks with a scratchy, tender voice.

"Perfect, baby, that was perfect." You sigh as you pull him down for a kiss.

It's slow and feather soft, your lips work so reverently against each other, thankful for everything you've both shared.

He inches his hips back so he can pull his softening length out of you. Both of you shiver once he's all the way out, then you feel the mess he made inside you spill onto the bed.

"I should probably go get cleaned up…" You say as your cheeks heat, not at all prepared for what happens after something so intense.

He just looks at you like you're growing a second head.

"Princess, I'm gonna take care of that." He assures you.

Before you can argue, he's got you scooped up into his arms. He carries you off to the bathroom, completely abandoning the wreck you've left on your bed. You wrap your legs around his waist the best you can and bury your face into his neck. You feel strangely dependent and needy. You suppose that must be normal after something like that.

Once you're in the bathroom, he steps into the shower. He secures you with one arm around your waist so he can flip the water on with the other.

You try to ease yourself down from him, but the second you move your legs you're made aware of the powerful ache in your center. Standing might not be an option right now, or tomorrow.

"I gotcha, baby, don't worry." He says before kissing your temple.

You don't answer, just hold onto him nuzzle into his strong chest.

The shower is filled with gentle kisses and an abundance of sugary words. He tells you how well you did, thanks you for trusting him, kisses the parts that hurt. He makes you feel so explicitly loved, so abundantly cherished. It feels your heart with syrupy fondness. It's all so blurry, but all so distinct. Every soothing touch as he washes you lures you further and further into a state of complete relaxation. He puts lotion all over you afterwards, making sure he's careful with the tender spots. Soon you're wrapped in a plush towel, perched on the counter as he combs your damp hair.

You let out a long sigh at the cathartic feeling, then lean forward to kiss collar bone. You rest your chin on his chest and look up at him. You snake your arms around his waist and pull his huge frame between your legs. He sets the comb down before bringing his hands up to hold the sides of your head.

"You're my sweet girl, you know that right?" He says, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nod and give him a soft "mhm" as you press your lips into the opposite collar bone.

"Words please?" He asks, gentle and guiding.

Your brain is still so incredibly foggy, you're having a horrible time trying to scrounge up any coherent phrases.

One of his hands slides down the side of your face until it settles under your jaw, with the pad of his thumb against your chin and his index finger under your jaw, he tilts your head up so you have to meet his eyes.

"What are you?" His eyebrows raise slightly, eyes full of adoration.

"I'm your sweet girl." You somehow manage the admission with a hoarse voice.

"Perfect, don't ever forget that." He kisses the top of your head then, breathing in as he pulls you against him even more.

You love Kirishima, and he loves you. You both feel it in your bones. He has all of you now, and you feel like you have all of him. Regardless of past sexual experience, you've both given each other something new to cherish and learn about.

"Let's get you to bed." He says before attempting to scoop you up again.

"Uh- Kiri?" You say, pressing your hands to his chest to stop him.

"Hm?"

"I'm kinda hungry…" You admit, suddenly aware of the gnawing in your belly.

He looks down at you for a brief second, an amazed look dances in his eyes before he throws his head back to let out a rich laugh.

"Burgers, and then bed?" He asks fondly, head tilting down to kiss your forehead.

"Oh fuck yeah." You say excitedly, the promise of a big nasty burger makes you giddy.

It's not long before you're sat next to Kiri at a booth in your favorite burger joint. One heavy arm draped over your shoulders, the other holding a massive cheeseburger. You sit comfortably dressed in one of his hoodies, it falls all the way to your knees, drowning your body in fabric that smells like him.

He takes one, huge, messy bite out of his burger. Lettuce and condiments flops onto his plate as you carefully bite your own.

"You're an animal." You giggle up at him.

He considers your statement as he chews, then leans down next to your ear once he's swallowed.

"You like it." He whispers.

Your spine goes rigid and blush heats your cheeks. Of course nobody heard, only a few others out at this hour, but you can't help but glance around the diner to make sure.

You slap his arm and pout up at him.

"That's not fair." You protest, but you can't help the smile that spreads when you see him beaming at you with all his pointy teeth on display.

The rest of the night is spent full of laughter and teasing over milkshakes. You eventually wind up back home, tangled in bed together. After a change of bedding of course. You press yourself into Kirishima as much as you possibly can, though you'd both be content to melt into each other if it were possible. As you drift off, you thank your lucky stars for the man holding you, for the safety he provides, for such a dazzling first time. You're glad you waited, you'd do it again, you'd do it forever if it meant you could share it with Kirishima.

#kirishima smut #kirishima x reader #daddy kirishima #kirishima #bnha kirishima #eijirou kirishima #kirishima x you #mha kirishima #bnha smut #mha smut #my hero academia smut #my hero academia #my hero smut #bnha eijiro kirishima #bnha eijirou #kirishima fluff #mha fluff #bnha fluff

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

Hey I was wondering if you could write something kinda angsty but with a pretty ending with the cubs, I’m trynna project getting stood up and turning it into something nice and good, even if it’s just in my head. No pressure but I just wanna smile for a bit and your work always makes me do so :)))

Hello lovely! I’m so sorry that you were stood up--that feels awful and whoever did it missed out on a wonderful person. I’ve combined this with some other asks in the same vein (y’all wanted my boys to hurt) so I hope you don’t mind. Sending love and hugs your way! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

1. Bad mental health day for Finn + pushing himself too hard + passing out (ft. Bee anon!)

2. O’Knutzy boiling over with a fluffy ending

3. Insecure Leo

TW for internalized guilt, vaguely implied self-harm (pushing himself too hard at practice), and relationship arguments

Finn had a few bad habits. He left dirty dishes in the sink, could never remember which setting the laundry was supposed to go on, and barely wiped his shoes on the doormat before entering the house. He wasn’t proud of his flaws, but he acknowledged that everyone had some—as long as they didn’t hurt anybody, it wasn’t the end of the world.

This one…this one was different. Even Finn knew that.

He gritted his teeth for the next set of squats, ignoring the ringing in his ears and the climbing nausea in his gut. The chart only said to do three reps, but he had been beating himself up for slacking a set earlier in the week and decided to do five to make up for it.

That, it seemed, was a poor decision.

His thighs were shaking when he finally put the weight down and he leaned on the wall to stabilize himself. “Fish? You okay?” Logan asked from the yoga mat to his right, staring up at him in concern.

“I’m fine,” Finn lied. “Just straightened up too fast.”

“D’accord.” He could feel Logan’s eyes on his back as he left the gym and headed toward the showers.

Finn’s worst habit was taking care of himself, and it wasn’t something that could be explained away as “oh, silly Harzy” like the washing machine. He made a mental note to take some ibuprofen before driving home so he would be marginally less sore in the morning, but he had the sinking feeling it would be a rough practice the next day.

Remus and Talker were playing some sort of volleyball with an old balloon between their stalls when he entered; he missed getting nailed in the head by a narrow margin and waved off their apologies with a forced smile.

A hand closed around his bicep as he passed, snapping him back to reality as Leo’s bright eyes came into focus. “Hey, lovey, is Lo with you?”

“He’s finishing up.”

A small furrow appeared between Leo’s brows. “Is something wrong?”

“Nope.” Finn faked a yawn and stretched his arm over Leo’s shoulder, dragging him down for a kiss on the cheek. “Cap’s workout just kicked my ass today.”

“That’s what they’re supposed to do,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes playfully as he passed. “You’re not a rookie anymore, O’Hara.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

Logan entered the locker room a few minutes later; Finn closed his eyes and breathed in the thick steam of the shower until the fog in his head cleared a bit and he couldn’t feel the skin on his shoulders. It billowed off him as he dressed again and tossed the keys to Leo, who raised his eyebrows. “Me?”

“You. There’s a little bit of slush left, and you still need to learn how to drive in it.” And I feel like I’m going to pass out at any minute. He swallowed down the last thought and pasted a teasing grin on his face—what Leo and Logan didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. It was his own fault for being lazy in the past.

-----------------------

What Leo and Logan didn’t know apparently did hurt them. In hindsight, Finn should have seen that coming before he passed out in the middle of a scrimmage.

The lights of the coach’s office made his headache even worse. “Care to explain?” Arthur asked in a voice like frost. To his left, Sirius was glowering.

“I already told Hestia—”

“Yeah, I know what you told Hestia,” Arthur interrupted. “I want to hear it directly from you.”

Finn sighed through his nose and picked at a stray thread on his jersey. “I…I pushed myself a little too hard at yesterday’s practice and didn’t say anything when I started feeling bad.”

“Why.” Sirius’ eyes were hard as flint.

“Because I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass! I can handle some aching muscles, it’s not a big deal!”

“Not a—”

Arthur put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “That’s enough, Black. O’Hara, I want you to look me in the eyes.” Finn raised his head. “This was a dumbass mistake and all of us expected better from you. Your safety and health come before any workout routine, and it is your responsibility to speak up before you scare the shit out of us by dropping like a rock.”

“I’m sorry, Coach.”

“Apology accepted. I also want you to call Heather when you get home and schedule an appointment with her.” Some of Arthur’s frustration melted into genuine concern and guilt crawled up Finn’s throat. “Doing that to yourself isn’t healthy, Finn. You’re a good man, smart, and I know you know better.”

“Can we talk for a second?” Sirius asked quietly, glancing at Arthur. He nodded and left the room.

“I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck, Finn?” Sirius ran a hand down his face, suddenly pale. “What the fuck was that?”

“It was stupid.”

“Yeah, no, I got that part.”

“I slacked off a set on Monday.”

“Wow, nobody’s ever done that before,” he said sarcastically, sitting down in the chair by the wall as Finn resumed messing with his hem. “You scared the hell out of all of us.”

“I know.”

“You know I’m not mad at you, right? I’m upset that you thought you had to do that at all.”

Tears prickled the backs of Finn’s eyes. “I know.”

“I’m sure as hell not your coach or your dad, but I’m going to say this as your friend, okay?” Sirius leaned over into Finn’s field of view. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. This team wouldn’t be the same without you. I wouldn’t be the same without you. We need you to take care of yourself, Harzy.”

Finn nodded silently and Sirius gave his hand a quick squeeze, which he returned. “Does everyone know?”

“I told them you were under the weather, nothing more.”

“Classic media answer.” He tried and failed to crack a smile. “Thanks for not telling on me.”

“That’s not my job. My job is herding cats on ice skates for five hours a day.”

Finn’s smile was real that time and he managed a light laugh as he swiped away the dampness on his cheeks. “Love you, man.”

“Love you, too.” Sirius helped him stand up and hugged him tight for a second before letting go. “Speaking as someone who used to do the exact same thing, talking to Heather makes a world of difference.”

“I’ll give her a call.”

The cold feeling returned to Finn’s gut when they stepped out of the office; Leo and Logan were waiting by the opposite wall, looking angrier than Finn had ever seen. Sirius patted his shoulder once before walking off down the hallway toward the locker room, where he would no doubt deflect even more questions.

“Hey,” Finn said, barely above a whisper. Logan continued to stare at the ground.

“You lied to us,” Leo said bluntly. “Several times. Both of us asked if you were alright and you told us you were fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology, but I don’t understand.” He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Finn, this isn’t how we deal with things. We agreed to be a team.”

Finn bit his lip. I fucked this one up. “We did. I am so sorry for scaring you—”

“We’re not mad that you scared us,” Logan snapped, still looking anywhere but his face. “We’re upset that you refuse to take care of yourself and then lied to us about it.”

Leo nudged Logan’s shoulder before turning back. “Why did you do that, Finn?”

“I didn’t want to fall behind. I was just trying to make up for the set I skipped on Monday.”

“What? Twenty squats and some pushups? That’s not worth your health, honey.” The pet name soothed the terror clutching Finn’s heart and he took a deep breath. They still loved him. This wasn’t the end.

“It was a stupid thing to do and it won’t happen again.”

“Good. Let’s go home.” Logan grabbed his duffel bag off the ground and started walking toward the door; Leo looked like he was going to say something, but Finn gently took his elbow.

“He’s going to need a minute,” he said under his breath. Logan was a hothead about many things, but lying was in the top three. Finn knew he hurt him deep.

“Did you…” Leo trailed off and pressed his lips together as they followed Logan into the parking lot. “Did you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

Finn shook his head. “No. This was all on me.”

“It’s just that I know I’m younger than both of you and I’m new to the hockey lifestyle, but I never want you to think you can’t trust me—”

“Leo.” Finn stopped walking and tugged on Leo’s hand, turning him around. Worry was painted all over his face and it sliced to Finn’s core. “I trust you and Logan with everything, but I got into my head about this and I wasn’t thinking about how it would hurt you. Please believe that.”

Leo sighed. “I do. I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.” Logan was already sitting in the car with his headphones on as they crossed the lot. “It’s going to take him a while to talk to me, isn’t it?”

“He was really upset.”

“We’ll figure this out.” He tightened his grip on Leo’s hand. “We’ve made it through worse.”

-----------------------------

The apartment crackled with tension until Finn literally had to stick his head out the open window to get a breath of fresh air. Waves of frustration and hurt rolled off Logan, though he still refused to look Finn in the eyes.

After dinner, Leo slid into the armchair before Logan could get there, leaving only the couch available. They carefully sat on opposite sides—Finn stole glances at Logan out of the corner of his eye for the entire first half of the movie. Ninety minutes of action later, he felt something chilly poking at his calf.

Logan kept his gaze trained on the TV as he scooted his freezing toes under Finn’s legs. Relief flooded Finn’s veins; he felt a little like crying, but instead schooled his expression into a small smile and rested his hand on Logan’s ankle, where it stayed until the movie ended.

Leo had fallen asleep by that time, splayed out sideways on the cushion with his face smushed against the armrest. “Il est mignon,” Logan said softly. There was a beat of silence and he looked over at Finn. “He’s cute.”

“He is.” Finn cleared his throat and met his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lo. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“I won’t.”

Finn had a few bad habits, but backing out on his promises would never be one of them.

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uponrightful · 3 years

Note

So, I love possessive, jealous Crosshair 🥵 Tell me about this scene (please?):

“Trouble doesn’t suit you, doll.” He murmured lowly, soft voice contrasting the slight pressure over her pulse point and the swell of her hip. Crosshair was all-consuming and Dutch was weak to do anything but try to stay silent under his pressing weight and commanding presence at her back.

Also, I’d love to know what Echo was thinking once Cross went to the fresher after Dutch.

You’re the best! 😘

Commentary Track for Coriolis Effect

Copy 500 words -or more- of any of my fics and I'll give you my thoughts/rambles on what was going through my head -or the character's- when I wrote it!

*send one in here anytime!*

My oh my! 😍 What spicy scene we have here. I'll start with what's going on with Crosshair first, then I'll come back for Echo and the rest of the Batch. haha

***

Crosshair is fuming with rage during his conversation with Echo: It's that kind of bodily energy you get after watching a action-movie, where your whole body feels tired, but it's twitching with adrenaline that can't be spent or released. That kind of feeling you can't get rid of no matter what you do to ignore it, or work through it. Your mind feels like it working so fast that it's in slow-motion, overanalyzing the smallest details until your grinding your teeth because there's nothing else that helps relieve the pressure.

But the second he enters the refresher all of that energy snaps from anger and fear for Duchess, into dead calm. His inner voice stops screaming and evens out in tone and his hands stop shaking. His breathing slows and the second Cross sees her standing there, it's like he's been meditating deeply for hours. This kind of concentration is only present in Crosshair one other time... And you guessed it. When he's shooting.

Note: This is the epitome of Crosshair's ability to manage impulse-control in unfamiliar -and stressful- situations. Key-word here being "unfamiliar." I firmly believe that Cross is painfully terrible at monitoring and expressing his emotions. He has so many of them all the time that from a young age he had to learn how to turn them off in a moments notice, simply so he could survive. Think about it... How can a sniper worry about his brothers dying right before his eyes and still make clean shots? Not even Crosshair can do that. So the second he's certain Dutch is safe -by visually proving her health- that well-trained nature takes over to protect him like it always does.

Crosshair -at this point- isn't sure what he wants. He needs to touch her though, remind himself that she's tangible and within reach. Not that he isn't aware of his effect on her, but this moment isn't about sexual appeal or attraction. This is desperation, and Crosshair knows that; He's just banking on the hope that she'll let him, because she's always done so. He feels safe with Duchess, and even though this feels/looks sexy, Crosshair feels completely vulnerable right now.

Note: I will say it now; Once and for all. I have never subscribed to the idea that Crosshair is a typical Dominant/BDSM/Sadisim kind of guy. And the distinction is all to do with motivation. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why he acts the way he does, and how that manifests itself. So when I planned this scene, I wanted to focus on just how strong his desire to have security is. Not prowess, or control. It's all to do with the desperate need he has to prove how he feels about her. That kind of vulnerability just comes easier to him physically than it does emotionally. Duchess gives him a sense of stability -in and out of the sexual sense- that makes his characterization insanely complex and difficult to balance.

The moment he finds his words, it's a compulsory need to cover his own jealousy. Crosshair is undoubtedly unhappy knowing she went out with Regs... but what's really bothering him is how easy it is to feel so strongly for Duchess. Every time he speaks, it's intentionally driving attention towards someone else, and away from his own desire to be the focus of her attention. Cross uses his fear of her being unsafe to mask the jealousy that constantly compares himself to the others who can give her attention more freely than he can personally. Duchess sees his calm nature as patience and precision, but it's really Crosshair planning out what he's going to say because he knows one wrong move will reveal just how desperate he is to have her acceptance of him.

Note: I've never struggled to balance possessiveness and love like I have with Crosshair. He's so intense that if I'm not careful, he comes off like a walking red-flag. Word choice is essential when getting Cross' character and reactions right. Whether it be the way he talks to her, or the way he naturally falls into a protector role. That's why when I'm writing for him, it takes double the time it does to write anything else. Every movement, every word he says, needs to be written like he says it in the moment. That's the only way to show his softness... because the love that he gives is best felt in person. You can't describe Crosshair's love with words easily.

Now for sweet, sweet, Echo.

Let me preface this by saying: Echo is his brother's keeper. There is a relationship there that goes far deeper than the ones Crosshair holds for his other brothers. It happened slowly, but it wasn't until the two of them were too far into it that either recognized what had happened. Their personalities are something that wouldn't really mix on first glance, but for some reason or another, they just get each other. It's natural, and they gravitate towards each other.

That being said, Duchess and Echo are their own kind of dynamic. I see them as the "platonic-soulmate" kind. She has an intensity that Echo marvels at, and Dutch knows she could take any problem to him and he would do anything to help her. They both see something in the other that they wish they still had, or could develop. It's probably the purest friendship Duchess has ever had, and Echo can't help but harken back to Fives when he sees her attitude -in future chapters.

Note: From the first moment I created Duchess, I just knew in my heart she was meant to be something special to Echo. To me, it was only right that Crosshair's doll would feel strongly connected to Echo as well. Add in their common feeling of loss for brothers, and that just made their relationship that much stronger. She's such a force, and the ARC trooper can't help but find a enamorment with people who have such a strong will and fiery personality. (See Fives)

The moment Echo sees Crosshair, he's already preparing to do anything necessary to protect Duchess from incurring another possible hit to her bruised emotions. Echo trusts Crosshair, but he's highly attentive to Cross and how raw his emotions are. Their interaction is based in Echo's desire to save the couple from losing the chance to do things the right way. Intuition and experience guide Echo through the whole conversation; He really is flying by the seat of his blacks here... But he's so well-versed in reading Crosshair that none of the other Batcher's even think about offering to be the first one Crosshair faces when he comes in the bunk hall. Echo has unmatched faith in Cross, and this was something both of them knew would happen.

Note: Writing this scene was challenging for a number of reasons. For one, neither Echo or Crosshair really talk a whole lot. They say what they need to, and that's the end of it. So I spent days watching Echo and Crosshair's interactions. Trying to figure out what I could based off the -very little- examples I was given. In that, I found that the two of them hardly ever stand next to each other, but they're constantly sharing glances and looking at each other. Echo and Crosshair have silent conversations all. the. time.

Had Echo not allowed Crosshair to go and see Duchess, their sexy scene would have never happened. (And I played around with that idea very seriously...) Ultimately, Echo's intuition was the deciding factor. That conversation, and Crosshair's attempt at honesty was the reason Echo felt confident in letting him speak to her. And although Echo could sense Crosshair's patience running thin, he'd already told the rest of the Batch to be prepared for any fight. Echo wouldn't put it past Cross to stun him, but a gut-feeling kept him from mentally preparing to do the same thing.

Additionally, it was Echo who made everyone leave the bunk hall. The second Crosshair and himself reached an agreement, Echo was the first to step away. His next move was to shove the rest of the Batch out the doors and give Duchess and Crosshair the privacy needed to work through their shit. And although he expected it to end in sex, the desire to keep their business between them alone was Echo's main motivation to empty the bunk room. Neither Crosshair or Duchess really trust the Batch at this moment -in Echo's mind at least- and risking their privacy wasn't something the ARC would stand for. In the back of his mind though, Echo was terrified that Crosshair would fuck her and leave it at that. He's seen the sniper at his best and his worst, and although his best is wonderful, his worst can be miserable to endure. Echo was praying that Crosshair wouldn't be too harsh -physically and mentally- on Duchess.

When Hunter finally decided enough time had passed, Echo was on edge to see just where the two of them would be. The image of them sleeping in separate bunks: Crosshair pretending to sleep -like always- and Duchess laying quietly and pretending like nothing happened shook Echo to his core. But the second he saw her bunk in a disarray, and her not in it, Echo couldn't help but fucking grin. He was proud of his brother for doing the right thing. For doing something for himself, and not worrying about how it would make him look for once. Add in the way Crosshair reprimanded Tech, and how deathly serious he looked with her sleeping peacefully against him...?

That was the moment Echo knew for certain that Crosshair was never coming back from this. He saw a visible change in his brother, in the way his attitude changed. The way Crosshair wasn't worried about himself, or attempting to hide behind sneers and sarcastic comments. Echo noticed how attuned he was to her in that moment, putting her comfort above all else. For a man who pretended to not care about anything, Crosshair did a terrible job of hiding his true personality when Duchess was curled up into him. And Echo couldn't be happier, knowing that his trust in Crosshair hadn't been for nothing. Not only was his brother experiencing love in a way that all of them desired, but Duchess was never going to live with the question of whether or not someone truly cared for her.

***

I hope this was what you were looking for in-terms of answers 😅. I had a great time writing this for you, and I hope you'll feel comfortable doing this again whenever you feel like it! I love sharing the behind-the-scenes stuff with you! It makes the cuts and editing feel a little less sad knowing I might be able to share some of it with you anyways!

#uponrightful #uponrightfulwrites #coriolis effect #Crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch #commentary track #saltywintersoldat

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songbirdsingingthings · 3 years

Text

Ice Skating - Shouto Todoroki x Reader

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO KOHEI HORIKOSHI

DAY SIX OF 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS - 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS MASTERLIST - MAIN MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my favorite that I’ve written so far, also I don’t know a ton about ice skating so there might be some inconsistencies with the sport irl <3

Maybe a class 1A trip to the local ice skating rink wasn’t the best idea but it certainly wasn’t a boring one. With each student bundled up and topped off with hats, earmuffs, and insulated headbands, you were all seated and tugging on your skates. Two benches away from yours, you already see trouble stirring.

“Oi, dunce face, watch your waddling!” Bakugou exclaimed, standing up. In the process he wobbles slightly, but is stabilized by grabbing onto Kirishima’s arm.

“Haha, sorry Bakugou!” A sheepish Denki replies. You smile at the silly interaction and return your focus to lacing up your skates. You’ve always loved skating, ever since you were little, and you did it often enough that your parents had bought you your own pair of skates. You never went super far into the sport but you do know how to do a few jumps and tricks.

“Wow, Y/N, your skates are so pretty!” Uraraka complimented. You flush a bit, looking at what's on your feet compared to the others. The pretty ivory white did look quite stunning next to all the boot-like skates the rest of your classmates were wearing.

“Oh, thank you! They were a Christmas gift a while back.” You stand up with ease and stretch a bit.

“Have you skated before?” Poking out from behind Uraraka, you see Midoriya's face with a curious expression plastered on it.

“Yeah, I got lessons when I was a kid but I didn’t compete or anything. I knew when I got my quirk that I wanted to become a hero but it didn’t hurt to have a hobby.” You say, smiling as Uraraka helped the green haired boy to his feet, red faces exchanged between the two.

“I wonder if Todoroki has ever been ice skating. I mean he does have an ice quirk.” Uraraka wonders. You’re sure that she doesn’t realize that her hand was still holding Midoriya’s, but you make note of it to tell her later.

“Hmm?” A smooth voice questioned from behind you. Speak of the devil, you remark, turning around to see the boy the three of you had been talking about. Wearing a white, loose turtleneck and a soft pair of black pants, he looked great. You get lost in thought for a second but shake your mind from its grasp, flashing him a nice smile.

“We were wondering if you’ve ever been ice skating,” You say, reiterating Uraraka’s previous question. A small smile and... wait was that a blush? flashes across his face.

“I haven’t, actually. This would be a first for me.” He says, looking at the rink through the plastic barriers.

“Well then,” Uraraka starts to say, making her way - as best she could with skates on - over to you. Oh no, I know that tone, you think as she links an arm through yours. “You should ask Y/N to give you some pointers! She was just telling us how she used to skate when she was younger.” You panic a bit on the inside but show no fear on your outward expression. When Uraraka had told you about her crush on Izuku Midoriya a couple months ago, you had shared your small crush on Shouto Todoroki with her. You might be regretting that a little bit now.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Are you okay with that?” He asks you. You see something flicker in his eyes, but not being able to a finger on what it actually was, you let it go.

“Yeah! That’s cool with me!” Mentally facepalming for acting so weirdly casual, you make your way over to the gate. However, everything seems to calm as soon as you step onto the ice. The glossy surface beneath the blades of your skates felt so comforting, melting all of your previous worries. You take a few glides across the ice to get a good feel and turn back to wait for Todoroki. The rest of the class piles onto the ice in an… unorganized fashion, but they all look to be having a good time. You even spot Uraraka and Midoriya skate past you, very discreetly holding hands. This causes a giddy smile to break out over your face.

“They seem close.” Todoroki comments as he starts to shakily enter the rink. This causes a laugh to erupt from you. The red-and-white haired raised an eyebrow and you shake your hands in front of you.

“Sorry, that just caught me off guard. Are you ready to start?” You ask, looking over his stance. While he did stumble a bit as he entered, he seemed to be doing fine now.

“Yeah, uh, how do I move forward?” He asks you, heterochromatic eyes meeting your Y/E/C ones. You smile and skate so that you're parallel to him, granting him a better angle at looking at your movements.

“To start, I usually push off of my dominant foot like this,” you say, directing his gaze to your preferred foot, stepping forward in a somewhat diagonal angle. You step a few more times and turn back to Todoroki. He nods, his eyes on the ice beneath his skates as he tries to copy your movements and immediately succeeds. He looks up to find your eyes but is graced with a beaming smile. “Wow Todoroki! That was amazing, it took me ages to do it that well,” you praise, skating over to be next to him. The both of you start to glide in a synchronous manner, matching your steps exactly.

“So Uraraka was saying that you did this when you were younger?” He inquires as you make your second round around the perimeter. You nod and smile, effortlessly gliding across the ice. “Did you ever go into competitions?” His second question surprised you a bit. Of course, you had several conversations with each other about non school or hero related things, but him asking about what your younger self liked to do made you blush a bit.

“Oh, uh, I didn’t, no. At the age I was, I wouldn’t be able to compete properly with the other girls.” He nodded but you see that same flicker in his eyes as you did before.

“I used to watch skating competitions with my mother when I was younger. I, um, always thought they were quite beautiful.” You grin at him as you pause at the gate.

“That’s what drew me to the hobby originally. The intricate moves and spins always seemed to capture my attention.” Todoroki immediately agrees with you, leaning against the wall.

“Can you do some of them?” He asks, a small smile gracing your face. You nod, bashfully.

“None of the super cool ones but I can pull off a few doubles.”

“Could you show me?” Your eyes go wide at his request and only get bigger when, from behind you, Uraraka cheers.

“Everyone clear the ice! Y/N is gonna show us her moves!” Red rushes across your face which causes Todoroki to immediately start apologizing.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to put you on the spot-”

“It’s fine, Todoroki. I’d be happy to show you.” Before you step out and glide to the center of the ice, a hand wraps softly around your wrist.

“Shouto.” He says simply, causing an eyebrow of yours to raise in confusion. “Um, call me Shouto.” If you weren’t already grinning then you were definitely beaming at him.

“Then I would like you to call me Y/N.” You swear you see a blush creep up onto his cheeks, but you skate to the center of the ice. That’s when you see that the entire class had stopped to watch what you were doing. A little stage fright, you glance around until your eyes fall back onto Shouto’s. Just his eyes meeting yours results in immediate solace. You start to skate around the middle, gaining speed as you prepare your first jump - a double toe loop. You prep, spin your leg, and jump off of the ice, turning twice in the air before landing. You were honestly proud of yourself - it had been a little while since you practiced these kinds of jumps but you were able to execute them and land almost perfectly. You do a few more jumps, one double axel and one double salchow, before you skate back into the middle and stand there, awaiting your class’ response. You don’t expect the class to erupt in cheers but that’s exactly what happened. You laugh a bit before you scamper off the ice, donning guards to protect your blades.

“Y/N, that was incredible! If I had roses I would throw them all on there!” Uraraka exclaims, her arms thrown around you in a hug. You thank her and give her a grin as you walk towards the water fountain, gaining several pats on the back while the class clambered back onto the ice. All of the class, except for one person.

“I don’t know much about ice skating but I know enough to say that what you did was quite beautiful.” Shouto says, leaning against the wall next to you. A happy expression broke out across your face.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“I was also wondering if…” his sentence trailed off, your happy expression replaced with an eager one now.

“Yes, Shouto?” You urge him, hoping and praying that what he was about to say matched what you had in mind.

“I was wondering if you would like to study with me later tonight, in my dorm.” Now, normally this wouldn’t have been the greatest step for a regular relationship, but for Shouto it was leaps and bounds.

“I would love to.” You respond with a sweet look in your eyes. As the two of you step back out onto the ice, he takes your hand in his - subtly, like what Uraraka and Midoriya had displayed earlier - and starts to skate around with you. A few beats of silence passes which you are happy to break. “Would I be safe to assume that this study session would count as a first date?” You inquire cheekily, looking between him and what was in front of you. Shouto says nothing for a bit but you feel a squeeze in your hand.

“...yes, you would be safe in assuming that.” Oh, what ice skating does to bring out a boy’s courage.

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lessonsfrommadamexmas · 3 years

Text

EREN JAEGER AND THE ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

First of all, to my followers, please excuse me. This account isn’t for SNK but it’s the one I have and I wanted to write this.

Secondly, I hope this post finds the fandom lol. But if you’re expecting this to be another meta to judge Eren’s actions, don’t waste your time. The enneagram is a tool of understanding, not judgement, and I just wanted to share one thing I appreciate immensely about Eren’s characterization.

Well, why don’t we start with chapter 137? There, Zeke states that life’s purpose is to propagate and it’s core fear is to be extinguished. In other words, from the moment we are born, our organisms need to survive. As humans, we are on our own: suddenly, you gotta breathe on your own; the food is no longer provided. Everything is scary. A baby cries because everything is hard and far away and something in their biology tells them to keep fighting to survive.

Now, onto a more spiritual approach. In El Eneagrama de la Sociedad, Claudio Naranjo says that several cultures have their own ideas and tales regarding a disconnection from a primordial state of wholeness. Once born, we become individuals and are separated from the Universe, as if we’re no longer in sync, and something is lost in the process. How can we survive? Our defense mechanisms start with that question. We need love, we need resources and we need to stand our ground in this cruel, but beautiful world. This, on the enneagram, is called “childhood trauma”.

What I want to do in this post is to break down Eren’s character development through the lens of the enneagram, but for that, I need to give you an overview of the system. It is cruel and beautiful, just like the SNK world. It sees us with care and understanding but it also exposes the harsh truths we don’t want to see.

The enneagram, first and foremost, is an ancient symbol, a figure of nine points connected within a circle. There’s a lot of fascinating history to it, but I’m gonna focus on what matters to this post. The enneagram is a personality system that encompasses nine essences of the Universe, and once our childhood trauma sinks in, we attach to one type which defines our worldview. Here’s how each enneatype manifests itself:

Type 1, the reformer: this person seeks to not make mistakes. They are principled and meticulous in everything they do but highly critical of themselves and others.

Type 2, the helper: this person seeks to be needed. They are proud of their independence and helpfulness but believe they can only receive love if they give first.

Type 3, the achiever: this person seeks to be worthy. They are motivated and ambitious but shape themselves around what is expected of them.

Type 4, the individualist: this person seeks to build their identity. They are sensitive and creative but reject the ordinary and focus on what is harder to reach.

Type 5, the investigator: this person seeks to be a specialist. They are perceptive and curious but withhold themselves and their resources and worry they’re never prepared.

Type 6, the loyalist: we’ll talk about it in a moment.

Type 7, the enthusiast: this person seeks to avoid pain. They are joyful and spontaneous but afraid of facing hardships and being swallowed by negativity and sadness.

Type 8, the leader: this person seeks to be strong. They are fierce and protective but don’t allow themselves any vulnerability and need to be on top.

Type 9, the peacemaker: this person seeks to be in peace. They’re kind and their inner stability is unshakable, but have a hard time asserting themselves.

So what does it mean to be a type 6?

Some of you might not believe if I told you that Eren is moved by fear. But that’s what it is. The type 6 represents fear itself. It’s our search for safety and support. The person who is a type 6 has disconnected from their inner guide and they don’t believe they have the same capability to make decisions as everyone else. That is more of an unconscious state, which manifests through an overly alert stance. Sixes are always on the lookout for threats and danger, their minds work predicting things that can go wrong, so they can be prepared. In other words, the type 6 fears how imprevisible life is, because they truly don’t find in themselves the compass to the answers they need “in this very moment”. They have to be one step ahead and they have to find outside structures for support, people in whom to trust and who’ll give them the guidelines and sense of balance. Fellowship and loyalty are essential to the type 6 as they look for reassurance in their concerns.

In Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (1996), Don Richard Riso has described nine levels of development for the enneatypes. They are the path from our healthy, healed state where we’re closer to wholeness again (Level 1) down to our most broken state where we’ve abandoned ourselves (Level 9).

When we start Attack on Titan, Eren is on Level 6. Here’s what Riso says:

“In its innocent forms, counterphobia is well employed by people to master their fears — for example, children who are afraid of the dark might purposefully go to a dark room to overcome their fear.”

Eren, too, wanted to overcome his fear since he was a kid. He wanted to go outside and face those faceless titans. He wanted people around him to be prepared, but since the Garrison was incompetent and lazy, he needed to be prepared. Grisha seems to be Eren’s first authority figure. From what we know, Grisha allowed Eren to have his own thoughts and didn’t impose anything on him, which is a kind of reassurance. Thus, with his father, Eren felt more understood.

Carla, on the other hand, wished for Eren’s immediate safety and cared about him living a quiet life. But that also means she couldn’t understand his concerns, and the type 6 interprets that demeanor as vulnerability — his mother is more exposed to the threat. If the type 6 is a room where nobody is vigilant, the only option they see is to step up and become hypervigilant.

This relation to an authority is very specific for the type 6 as they search for people and systems in whom to rely on. Since the Garrison aren’t the most reliable soldiers around, Eren turns to the Survey Corps. That section of the military consists of the rebels, those who want to explore the unknown, understand the titans and figure out the best way to fight the enemy. The SC wants to be free, so they become Eren’s next “authority figure”.

Riso also says that the type 6 in Level 6 has a more aggressive stance and wants to prove to others that he isn’t indecisive and can’t be pushed around.

“They blame and berate whatever threatens them. They become rebellious… and are desperate to latch onto a position or stance that will make them feel stronger and dispel their feelings of inferiority.”

The type 6 feels inferior because they feel lost inside. Eren, too, knows that the threat lurking behind those walls is much bigger than him and a single human doesn’t stand a chance. And he berates people around him for not seeing what he sees, or for disrespecting his “heroes”.

Eren will be back to Level 6 later, embodying other aspects of it, but let’s talk about the moment he joins the army.

At this point, Eren reaches the stable position he has been eager for. He is part of a group and working towards his goals, he feels more confident because he’s preparing for the next attack. He has climbed to Level 4:

“The security which groups and institutions provide far exceeds the strength of any individual members...”

As we know, Eren sees his mission to eradicate all titans also as a social responsibility. The type 6 can easily fall into “us versus them” mentality where they are putting effort into something and will trust only the people who understand the importance of it. Eren’s bickering with Jean, as well as his admiration for Reiner starts from there.

“And even within their own group, average Sixes make it their business to find out who is pulling the weight and who is not... If others are not loyal or committed, it not only makes them angry, it threatens them.”

Eren talks over and over about how he’s going to join the suicide squad, to the point people start making fun of him. But he is testing everyone’s commitment to the cause of “fighting titans” and he finds people like Jean, who only really want their safe life, as well as Reiner, who is dedicated and understands him immediately. Reiner becomes his new “authority figure”: whenever Eren’s failing, Reiner is there to understand him, to offer help and to remind him of why he’s there.

“The loyalty of average Sixes for the people with whom they have identified is almost without bounds. They find it extremely difficult to break their emotional bonds, even should they desire to do so… Their love may, in time, turn to hatred but never to indifference.”

That one speaks for itself. It’s exactly how Eren felt upon RBA’s betrayal. He’s in total denial about Annie, while for Reiner/Berthold all he has left is rage.

Choosing who to trust is part of the type 6 identity. All of their beliefs, all their inner world is shaken if they are betrayed, because the network they build is how they find a safe space for themselves in the world and how they orient themselves. Annie was Eren’s parameter of fighter, Reiner was Eren’s parameter of leadership. The first backstab is too hard for him to process, we see it all unfold. He can’t admit she’s a traitor, and he doesn’t even have the will to transform and fight her.

The second one, however, is embraced somewhat faster and he’s even able to contain himself and play along. But it doesn’t change how deeply it affected him and how vengeful he gets. Years later, that hatred would dissipate, but never to indifference — Eren still feels a need for some closure between them.

I got ahead of myself on the timeline, so I’m going to rewind to the moment Eren joins the Survey Corps, which is his childhood dream. Erwin is his main authority figure now and you see that, even though Erwin locked him up, he trusts the guy. As Don Riso explains, the type 6 on Level 4 plays by the rules of his group because he strongly believes in those rules and they bring comfort to their minds. In reality, the SC doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Erwin himself doesn’t know how he’s gonna cross the walls and find out the truth. But Eren is devoted to them. Their cause is his cause and he knows how hard it is but what matters is they’re trying. Besides, they embrace him. They want to reach the basement and want to defend him on the court and want to investigate/use his titan power. Thus, for Eren, the SC is the most solid and welcoming place to be. He’ll do whatever they want from him.

However, Eren was about to find out that things were far from glorious out there. Although the Survey Corps work under strict “plans” that soldiers are supposed to follow blindly, Eren can’t just watch people being sacrificed to protect him. Especially when he has enough power to act in a more significant way than those individual humans. But how much control does he have over his own power? Eren can’t answer that, and he feels immensely conflicted as soldiers continue to drop dead.

In that moment, Levi could’ve forced him to follow his orders, and perhaps that would’ve eased his mind when he chose not to transform. But the captain is a different kind of leader than Erwin, and he challenges Eren instead:

And I really appreciate how fitting that is to the type 6 conflit. It’s very difficult for them to accept it, sometimes there simply isn’t a clear path, sometimes it is okay to trust yourself and act on your own. But this is what Eren’s thinking:

That didn’t turn out very well, did it? At the end of the expedition, Eren is forced to admit that the SC don’t have all the answers and that all his power and training can’t always keep everyone safe. He’s once again reminded of that after activating the Coordinate — not even the power to control titans can avoid sacrifices.

Ideally, the type 6 can only reach the safety they seek once they allow themselves to move in the chaos with the courage to face it step by step, instead of predicting it. This may sound easy for others but not for them, especially if they are inserted in a reality where the cost of a mistake is lives.

So we get to the Uprising arc. It starts with the Survey Corps planning the retake of Wall Maria while they put Eren through hardening experiments. Time is not on their side and Eren’s determined to go beyond his limits during the tests.

“They consequently try to further strengthen their ‘social security’ systems by working harder to be accepted and approved by their allies and authorities… Others wonder if they resent the workloads and pressures they seem to be under, yet Sixes seem eager to fulfill their obligations and duties...”

Eren’s entire world would fall apart again once he’s kidnapped by Rod Reiss and discovers the truth of his father’s sin. Like I said earlier, Grisha was one of Eren’s authority figures, and even though he was absent, the basement key and the promised truth kept son and father connected. Wherever Grisha was, Eren could still count on the answers he’d left behind.

That is, until he is hit by a trainwreck of a revelation that his father killed an entire family and sacrificed himself to pass on the titans to him. Eren’s left completely lost, he no longer knows what to think of himself, of the world, of his father.

He falls from Level 4 to Level 7:

“Sixes become trapped in an unhealthy pattern of self-disparagement and massive insecurity which reinforces feelings of inferiority and worthlessness, a marked deterioration from the indecision and evasiveness we saw [before].”

This shift to a much more confused and self-loathing state doesn’t last long because Eren has his friend’s support for now. Historia chooses to see his worth and let him live. Levi once again challenges him to make his own decision, and Eren manages to save the day.

As Eren becomes aware of those destructive feelings, he tries to get rid of them by “fighting” himself, in an attempt to put himself back up.

He realizes he isn’t alone and he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, people around him are also strong enough to stand up for themselves. That helps him return to a more average stage and it could have been the beginning of his growth...

Well, if only life wouldn’t have a surprise waiting for him at every corner.

I hope you’re being able to follow and understand that we all have ups and downs in life. The levels of development represent exactly that, so it is common to find yourself in the same stage in different periods of your life. Nevertheless, after Eren learns the truth about the world and sees his future memories, it all goes downhill for him, no turning back anymore.

Here is what Riso comments on the ambivalence of the type 6 on Level 5:

“Sixes begin to follow the narrow path between the expectations of their allies and authorities and their need to resist having any further demands placed on them.”

Eren is overwhelmed by the view of the outside world. He has experienced his father’s memories first hand and it’s nothing like what he expected. No one around him has the same perspective. A lot of self-awareness and self-doubt emerge from the future memories he saw through Historia. Riso explains that on Level 5 the person starts to become more worried about how their allies feel about them.

“They become skeptical of new views and ideas, feeling that they have already put a lot of effort into understanding the perspectives and approaches they already know.”

Eren went from “I HATE TITANS ALL TITANS ARE MY ENEMIES DESTROY ‘EM ALL” to “titans are my people and they haven’t chosen this horrible outcome”. And that’s A LOT to process when you wrapped your life around that initial idea. But things are changing even faster, and his friends are talking about how the enemy could be reached out too. This thought needs to coexist in Eren with the clear image he has of the enemy, one that only he has accessed. Add to that how Eren was kept away from the Marleyan prisoners as Paradis also feared some kind of betrayal. As long as there’s people out there against them, he can’t so easily rest.

Who knows at what point Eren returns to Level 6. The time skip is covered very loosely. But probably when he is feeling so lost that he actually comes to Historia to vent.

“As in other types, to be functioning in this Level or lower usually indicates that there were extremely dysfunctional elements in the child’s environment.”

Self-explanatory. It’s even hard to talk about Level 6 because it is a point where Sixes start to overthink threats that aren’t that big, but in Eren’s case, the threat is 100% REAL and there’s a world isolating them and wishing for his people to die and throwing gigantic creatures at them. No big deal at all.

Eren turns to the people who actually understand the urgency he feels. Floch is eager to follow him, while Zeke and Yelena have an actual plan. Eren says he’s acting out of his own decisions, and he sure is, but he has also left it in Zeke’s hands to set the course. At this point, it no longer is a positive thing for the type 6 to have reassurance instead of a grounding support, it’ll only leave them trapped in the current mentality.

What would be more appropriate would be a balance between rejection…

…and full acceptance.

(By the way, I can’t even know where Historia stands, since she let him do his thing, but I’m still using her here because of how immediate her reaction was, which could lead Eren to think he can’t risk telling anyone else. Unhealthy Sixes are just that paranoid.)

Zeke could have been Eren’s new “authority figure“ if their goals were the same. But more and more the only thing Eren is starting to rely on are the future memories.

Riso talks about how a violent environment would lead to violent actions and “they end up using the same aggressive tactics on others”. And I can draw a parallel with how Eren has been facing titans for so long and watched them take people from him, that he just feels aggression arise whenever he thinks of all the injustice he has witnessed. Same would happen later on, when he sees Ymir’s memories and finally decides to unleash this pain on the world.

“It’s hard for Sixes to work for something. Instead, their energies are galvanized by being against people and things.”

Despite being highly conflicted and problematic, Eren so far has waited. It’s too hard at this point to fully engage with those dreams, but he has watched things unfold and allowed the Survey Corps to do their stuff and try to contact the outside world. On Level 7, the type 6 is just going through the day with little hope. When the SC reaches Marley and Eren meets the boy of his memories, he can no longer escape from facing himself.

“Tearful and obsequious, they are disgusted with themselves for not having been tough enough to stand on their own two feet, to defend themselves, to be independent.”

Not only Eren, but Paradis as a whole, have been unable to be independent in a much bigger world, or this is how he sees it after Kyiomi monopolizes the resources and the pro-Eldians group rejects the island. Finally, Eren recognizes in himself the person who would be capable of trampling the kid he currently wants to save, and that leaves him disgusted.

“They do not necessarily deceive others maliciously, but to escape punishment or abandonment. They believe they may be able to repair the damage they have caused...”

What Riso is saying here is that the type 6 feel the need to hide (themselves) so their loved ones won’t abandon them. And again, in Eren’s case, he has a damn good reason to think his loved ones might not be super happy if he said he was going to destroy the whole world. Let’s not forget they are the people who counted on him to save the world this whole time, and he is the person several people have been sacrificed for.

All this pressure has brought him this low, but Eren reaches rock bottom when he allows himself to admit he wished for it all to be destroyed. Now, he can no longer face his family (as he would tell Falco) and he has little faith in himself.

Again, Eren’s paranoias aren’t so far from reality because there is, indeed, a world against them, and that keeps feeding into his anxiety. Paradis’s progress is little and the future is uncertain. When the type 6 reaches Level 9, they can no longer get out of this spiral. They know it’s only a matter of time until the threat comes to them. So they call the threat upon themselves.

Eren allowed himself to go as far as understanding his enemies and accepting that they’re the same, but with the declaration of war, he can’t wait anymore.

I already told you the reason: the type 6 needs to be able to predict. That’s the very core of their beings, their minds seek to control events. Striking first is their final attempt to make sure they won’t be taken by surprise. Ultimately, they are lost and desperate to find support again. Here’s what Riso says about the type 6 on Level 9:

“They may drop out, abasing themselves as vagrants and living in skid row conditions, thus allowing their health and minds to deteriorate to the point of no return.”

It almost feels like Isayama has read this book, I swear to God. Yeah, that’s word by word what Eren does. He goes to enemy territory, injures himself and throws himself in war. Despite resisting for so long to a new perspective of his enemies, Eren allows himself to see them with his own eyes. All because he’s desperate to understand his enemy, desperate to understand himself (and what would lead to his decision) and desperate to run away from his friends. He is ashamed of choosing those future memories as his new authority figure, get it? They are the most certain thing in his life now. As much as he waited and as much as the SC tried, they don’t have any guaranteed future and it’s just too hard for the type 6, especially unhealthy Sixes, to wait. It’s impossible.

Remember I said that Sixes want to feel understood? Well, I think Eren feels understood, to some degree, when he’s among those broken soldiers. They are relatable, more than anyone else.

“Neurotic Sixes bring disaster of some sort upon themselves not to end their relationship with authority figures, but to reestablish a protective one. [...] It is also important to notice that neurotic Sixes are masochist not because they take pleasure in suffering as such, but because they hope their suffering will bring someone to their side who’ll save them… as if to say, ‘Punish me, because I’ve been bad. Then you can love me again.’”

In the mind of the unhealthy type 6, if he can’t find the answers, he can’t be there for his allies. If he fails his allies, he doesn’t deserve their support. But even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it and feels they won’t forgive him, he desperately needs it — the type 6 doesn’t know how to live without support. He is completely aware of his cowardice, he may unleash his despair in innocent people, he seeks punishment for his behavior and hopes for someone to end his pain.

“Unhealthy Sixes are self-defeating persons who are their worst enemies. If they persist in their masochist behavior, neurotic Sixes will drive away everyone on whom they depend. They will be abandoned and alone, the very things they most fear.”

Eren pushed everyone away, but deep down he waited for them to come to his rescue. He knew he was a lost cause, but still couldn’t let go of what he saw as a compromise, a duty to them. His completely cruel and extreme actions are, in enneagram terms, his way to not leave his allies adrift. But aren’t all his actions for his own freedom? I don’t think so, not entirely. There’s a reason the type 6 has been named “the loyalist” — they always, always see themselves as part of a group. And in the end, he saw himself in Ymir, someone who was trapped and waiting to be rescued, understood. Don Riso says the worst part of coming this low is how much Sixes hurt others while they hurt themselves, both because they want to harm everyone who doesn’t understand and to show people the worst in themselves; they want to punish and be punished at same the time.

That is what I wanted to break down — Eren’s inner process. Yes, the type 6 is an ambivalent, contradicting personality type, precisely because that’s how they feel inside. Other enneagram types don’t escape from their own personal conflicts, that’s also important to point out. The enneagram does not define integrity, people capable of causing great harm exist in all types and no one from type 6 is fated to destroying the world — just in case that isn’t obvious.

This post is heavy, I know. One of the things I love about SNK are the emotions it evokes and how human characters are. I’m so thankful to have followed Eren’s fascinating journey. He has never hit me as a one-dimensional character as some people claim. To me, Eren is not a chad, he’s not a monster, either. He’s just human.

I’m thankful for this fandom as well. We’re a total mess but the monthly wait would’ve killed me without the crazy theories and the heated discussions.

#snk 137 #snk 138 #snk 139 #Eren Jaeger analysis #attack on titan manga and anime #enneagram #LONG post #eren jaeger #snk analysis

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mysticalhouseofcards · 3 years

Text

✨🔮✨BTS members current energy reading ✨

Kim Namjoon

Current Energy

✨ Seven of Cups reversed ✨ Generally this card reversed can indicate that he is finding clarity and getting back to reality after a period of indulging in fantasies or living in a dream world. He may be finally starting to act decisively and see the correct path for him clearly, having previously felt indecisive or lost. It represents getting a reality check. Alternately, when this Seven of Cups appears reversed it can indicate that he may has a lack of options, choices or opportunities or he may be feeling restricted or trapped in some way.

Hopes and Fears

✨ The Lovers reversed ✨ The Lovers tarot card reversed makes me think that he is afraid of a breakup I can't be sure about the kind of break up but I am feeling is something work related . Whatever it is, makes him feel insecure and that he or the project he is working on will become less whole. Lovers reversed can also indicate a wrong choice being made. The spiritual and mental connection between him and people is lost or blocked. When this card shows up reversed he might not know what to do. Decisions are being made due to earthly desires and needs, much because it is practical, rather than because it makes him happy and fulfilled.

How to Release

✨ Queen of Wands ✨The advices this card has for him are ,to nurture his creative fire and pour his energy into his creative work. Breathe life into it. Take action on his desires. If there is something (or someone!) he wants, it tells him Go for it!Bring enthusiasm into his situation and Inspire + encourage others through his example.The Queen of Wands is the female leader. When this card comes up, it can say: take the lead. Don’t want to lead? Find someone who will.A brave approach is needed now. Be confident!

Future

✨ Two of Swords and Seven of Wands✨A general meaning of the Two of Swords card is representation of a stalemate, truce or being at a crossroads. It indicates that he will be sitting on the fence or struggling to make/ avoiding a difficult, stressful or painful decision. It is the the card of coming face to face with your fears. It can also signify being torn between two loyalties, relationships, situations, offers or people. It represents being caught in the middle of an argument or conflict and trying to mediate between opposing parties. The Two of Swords also represents blocking emotions, being in denial, blindness and an inability or unwillingness to see the truth. The Seven of Wands card tells that whatever the situation/s he'll have to face will be he will standing up for his beliefs and ideas , he'll be able to maintain control and show he is a strong willed person. Lastly this card tells me that his life will give him challenges and a very hectic schedule .

Kim Seokjin

Current Energy

✨ Five of Pentacles reversed ✨ Generally , the Five of Pentacles reversed is a good omen especially if he has been going through a tough time as it represents hardship coming to an end, overcoming adversity or a positive change in circumstances. When everything seemed hopeless, he was able to held on and now he can see the light at the end of the tunnel! It can also signify improvement in relationships, finances or luck. This card can also represent illnesses improving, recovering from problems and being accepted or welcomed back after a period of alienation or isolation. He should be in a much more positive frame of mind, beginning to rebuild his feeling of security and stability and making progress. He may also be finding forgiveness for anyone who may have caused him any kind of issues in the past. The Five of Pentacles reversed can also indicate letting go of people or relationships that were toxic for him as he is starting to focus on the future.

Hopes and Fears

✨ Eight of Pentacles ✨ With this card I'm getting that he works really hard on a project or maybe a new skill that will be useful in the future but he is afraid that all of his hard work will be in vain because of what is happening right now to the world but of course that the same time he hopes that he'll be able to achieve his goals and find success.

How to Release

✨Three of Wands reversed ✨This card can indicate a need to revise his plans. Perhaps his ambitions are a bit too big at this time.Rather than go big, go small is what I'm getting. Micro steps instead of big, bold moves will make more good results.Instead of global, this card favors local. No need to conquer the world. Start closer to home.

Future

✨ Two of Pentacles reversed and Six of Swords reversed✨The Two of Pentacles card reversed can indicate that he will be biting off more than he can chew! He will may be trying to keep too many balls in the air and finding it impossible to maintain the balance between the various areas of his life. This card represents feeling overwhelmed, overextending himself and lack of organisation. It can also signify that he will make some poor choices because he will be under pressure and may be getting himself into more of a mess than need to. The Six of Swords card reversed show me that he might have to face some troubles in the future but I don't feel like it will be something really important! Also this card is talking about delays , so maybe something that he is working on is moving slower than he would like , but I don't feel that this is bad either , some times obstacles and delays can lead us in a greater place from what we already had in mind! Lastly I'm seeing him healing slowly from a past trauma.

Min Yoongi

Current Energy

✨ Six of Pentacles and Queen of Pentacles ✨ The Six of Pentacles card represents gifts, kindness and generosity. Someone in his life may be very generous towards him with gifts or simply generous with their time, knowledge or wisdom. Alternately, he may has so much wealth and prosperity that he is now the one in a position to help others. This card can also indicate sharing, support, charity or donations. He may be feeling a strong sense of community spirit or compelled to help those around him. It is also a card of power and control ,so he may has come in a position of authority or being well-respected by others when . The Six of Pentacles is usually a positive card to get as it can signify equality and fairness and can also symbolise , being valued or being rewarded for hard work. Queen of Pentacles tarot card denotes a down to earth and practical approach to life and situations. It is important for him now to have work/home balance. Queen of pentacles shows me that he takes enjoyment in material pleasures and success at the moment. This is a very nurturing card and tells me that he wants to take care of people around him . Queen of pentacles inspires integrity and warmth and being an abundant partner, and friend.

Hopes and Fears

✨ Page of Pentacles ✨ This card shows me that he is thinking about the future and some long term goals he wants to achieve ! He is hoping that he will be able to catch every opportunity come to him and find success in his goals ,but at the same time I could say that he is a bit stressed about missing possible good opportunities and make the right choices.

How to Release

✨ Five of Swords ✨This card is often associated with a victory through deceit. As advice, this may say: to watch his back , a betrayal is possible.But it can also advise to always use honesty to achieve his goals. In case he is doing something shady, it’s not too late to turn things around.In some cases, the Five of Swords can advise to use craftiness if you wish to score a victory. Examine his options, take charge and be strategic.Be assertive! A competitive mindset is needed. Take a stand and/or take over.

Future

✨ The Lovers ✨ Generally the Lovers signifies perfect union, harmony, love and attraction. The Lovers can represent finding the balance within oneself. He will learn to understand hiself, his own personal moral code and what he values in life. This will bring harmony and balance to his life. He will have major choices to make or face with a dilemma. He may will be feeling uncertain about situations, people in his life or what direction he should take. These will be important decisions he will have to face . He shouldn't automatically go for the easy road, he'll have to make sure he'll have all the information and make the right decision. Even if it seems like a difficult path, it will lead him on to greater things.

Jung Hoseok

Current Energy

✨ Six of Cups ✨ Generally, the Six of Cups card represent nostalgia, childhood memories and focusing on the past. He may be being influenced by past events, reminiscing about the past or thinking about someone from his past. It can signify simplicity, playfulness, innocence, goodwill and sharing. It can also represent protection and family. If has been going through a tough time, the Six of Cups may be telling to take the support available to him from family and close friends. When the Six of Cups appearance can also indicate that he is being childish or immature.

Hopes and Fears

✨Six of Wands and Seven of Cups ✨In general context, the Six of Wands here represents the hope he has for success, victory, winning, triumph, achievement and having the advantage. It also signifies that he likes and hopes for praise, acclaim, awards, recognition, applause. It is a card of fame, celebrity, fans, well-wishers, supporters, crowds and being in the spotlight. It indicates that he hopes to be a leader, confident and proud with high self-esteem. It is a card that means that he hopes to have strength and stability and can also represent successful campaigns and winning battles against himself or others. With the Seven of Cups card I'm getting that he is afraid of losing important opportunities and make the wrong decision about important matters and stressed of the amount of things he has to take care of.

How to Release

✨Five of Cups reversed ✨ This card advises him to be kind to himself and take baby steps. He is moving forward but may still have a bit of healing work undone.Change is favored. Embrace the new, even if it seems scary. It’s brighter than what he imagine.If he is struggling with emotions or dependency, he doesn't have to go alone ,help is right under his nose.

Future

✨Six of Pentacles ✨ This card represents gifts, kindness and generosity. Someone in his life may will be very generous towards him with gifts or simply generous with their time, knowledge or wisdom. Alternately, he will may has so much wealth and prosperity that he will be the one in a position to help others. This card can also indicate sharing, support, charity or donations. He may will be feeling a strong sense of community spirit or compelled to help those around him. It is also a card of power and control ,so he may will come in a position of authority or being well-respected by others when . The Six of Pentacles is usually a positive card to get as it can signify equality and fairness and can also symbolise , being valued or being rewarded for hard work.

Park Jimin

Current Energy

✨The Chariot reversed and Seven of Cups✨The Chariot card reversed can indicate that he feels powerless and is lacking direction. He needs to take control of his own destiny and not let outside forces determine his path. When The Chariot reversed he is still moving but he has let go of the reins.He has to focus and take control back! He has to consider what aspects of his current situation are within his control and take proactive steps to change his fate.This may be leading to anger, frustration and uncontrolled aggression. If the people in his life are being too needy and demanding him , he needs to take back his power in a productive way. Also he has to be clear about what time or resources he is prepared to dedicate to others ,set boundaries and stick to them. Seven of Cups card represents having lots of options to choose from or multiple possibilities open to him. It can be an indication that he has so many choices or so many things going on at once that he may be overwhelmed or unable to focus properly. He needs to limit the amount of things he's taking on to a manageable amount. There is no point in agreeing to do things if he can’t give them the time and attention they deserve. He has to try to be realistic about what he can commit to. Also, it indicates that he needs to make a decision in his life and realistically look at where he is ,take proactive steps to make his situation better rather than fantasising about how he wants it to be.

Hopes and Fears

✨King of Pentacles ✨King of pentacles card tells me that he hopes for success in business stuff by being an expert in his field. It is a very ambitious and career-oriented card! But it seems like he is afraid of losing control and power, as well as security and a stable home.

How to Release

✨ Two of Pentacles reversed ✨Things have spun out of control !Seek balance is the advice of this card to him and don’t try to do it all alone.

Future

✨ Page of Swords ✨ He will be full of energy, passion and enthusiasm. He will be bursting with new ideas and plans for the future. He may will be excited about starting a new project, pursuing a new approach or learning something new. He'll have so much energy that he will feel as though he could do almost anything and he can! The challenge, however, is whether he will be able to keep it up. As with all Pages, the beginning always looks promising, but he will need something else to follow through and keep up the pace.

Kim Taehyung

Current Energy

✨ The Chariot reversed and Temperance ✨The Chariot card reversed like Jimin's case can indicate that he feels powerless and is lacking direction. He needs to take control of his own destiny and not let outside forces determine his path. When The Chariot reversed he is still moving but he has let go of the reins.He has to focus and take control back! He has to consider what aspects of his current situation are within his control and take proactive steps to change his fate.This may be leading to anger, frustration and uncontrolled aggression. If the people in his life are being too needy and demanding him , he needs to take back his power in a productive way. Also he has to be clear about what time or resources he is prepared to dedicate to others ,set boundaries and stick to them. In general, the Temperance card signifies balance, peace, patience and moderation. This card indicates that he has found his inner calm and has a good perspective on things. Temperance can also signify that he has found peace and tranquillity and he is feeling content. Temperance indicates that he is truly in touch with who he is inside, what he values and his own moral compass and he is finding it easier to figure out his aspirations and set goals for himself. Lastly it seems like he is trying to get out of the energy the Chariot reversed card has and not allow hiyself to be dragged into other people’s conflict or to let minor issues knock him off balance. Instead he is trying to adapt to the situations with a clear mind and calm heart and keep his balance.

Hopes and Fears

✨Ace of Wands ✨He is hoping for good news and new beginnings and him being able to take action, physically starting something, finding new passion, enthusiasm or spark but at the same time he is afraid that those things want come to him .

How to Release

✨ Five of Cups ✨He might has suffered a loss, grieve. This card advises him to go through the process, even though it may feel uncomfortable. Face his loss full on because by dealing with it directly, he begins the process of healing.Don’t cry over spilt milk.If he has been stuck in regret mode, he won’t be able to see the new possibilities and says Stop looking back.Put the water under the bridge. Forgive and move on.

Future

✨ The Devil revery✨In a general Devil reversed can signify that he will become aware of the things that have been trapping him and the role he plays in allowing them to. It is a great card for anyone battling an addiction or mental illness or engaging in harmful behaviour as it indicates that he will start to see the light and take back control of himself and his life. He wants to be free from problems and he will start to get the motivation to change his circumstances. It can also indicate that he will get a new perspective on issues that made him feel powerless to change previously. The changes he will want to make may not be easy but they are necessary for him if he wants to have a happy life in the future and will realise what he has to do.

Jeon Jungkook

Current Energy

✨ Queen of Swords ✨Queen of Swords t card denotes tells me that at the moment he is kind of cold, professional and thinks in a smart way. He is trying to be is witty and funny in an intelligent way . At the moment he seems to be single and may have been hurt in love, and is bitter and hurt, but good at covering it up. Staying professional right now is a must for him . And also with this card I'm feeling that is not a good period for him to try new artistic things.

Hopes and Fears

✨ The Lovers ✨ I'm getting that he might be afraid that he won't find his significant other or his match about a work related situation and make wrong choices that won't feel him up emotionally and generally.

How to Release

✨ The Hanged Man ✨The Hanged Man advises to wait ,put his feet up and chill , let go and allow the Universe to sort things out.This card can also symbolize sacrifice, it may be advising him to do just that: make a sacrifice. Surrender to the situation ,stop struggling. Give up and trust that things will work out as need be.

Future

✨ Eight of Swords and Four of Cups reversed ✨

In general , the Eight of Swords tells me that he will be feeling trapped, confined, restricted or backed into a corner or having his hands tied. It signifies fear, terror, anxiety and psychological issues. It is a card of hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, slavery, persecution and being silenced or censored. He will be feeling the pressure when this appears and may be in crisis or going through a dilemma or drama. However, the overall theme of this card is that he will be the one keeping yourself in this situation through negative thinking and allowing himself to be paralysed by fear. This card also represents consequences and judgement which may take the form of trial by jury, imprisonment and punishment ! The Four of Cups reversed though tells me that this situation won't last long. Generally , the Four of Cups card reversed indicates that he will pull himself out of the rut he has been in. While his life may have previously felt stagnant, that will come to an end. The Four of Cups reversed represent leaving regrets, remorse and wishful thinking in the past and focusing on the present and moving forward in a positive direction.

#Aria #bts current energy reading #kpop bts #kpop tarot blog #kpop tarot reading #current energy reading #bts tarot #kpop tarot

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pleom · 3 years

Text

There would be no other day like today. Where time is precious, when moments come to be lost forever, you cannot allow yourself to pass up any more. You will not. You will pull on your tattered coat, dust off your saddle shoes and hush your stationed horses—ssh, not today; when a day rears close on its anxiety-driven metal wheels, then the appreciation of serenity is in order.

Today, the doors will glide instead of creak. The floor will come hardened instead of splintered. You will climb upon a new form of transportation, and ride it from the wilderness-shrouded cabin you call your home. Your heart will beat fast, your mind will think of nothing but everything. But you will learn to enjoy it.

Except...there is a man sat in front of you. The train rode in from Nowhere to the East, and inside, when you climbed aboard, there was no one except you and this man. He hummed to himself, wrapped his lips around wordless lyrics. His gaze flickered from the trees whizzing behind you to the fabric of your clothes, the split soles on your shoes. You tried to keep your face stoic, like you weren’t also comparing the quality difference between you and what a respectable human should look like. Your chest squeezed, heart beating fast in a way you did not enjoy.

This...this was a mistake. A backwoods-born vagrant like you had no business crawling where the affluent passed. You had half a mind to leap from your seat then and there, to exit the train by any means necessary. It had already dragged you miles from the point of your home, but you knew with your lack of expertise, you could make it anywhere.

The thought of leaping—of standing to attention—however, seemed to bring shame in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time. You were constantly wracked with all layers of guilt and humility, but they wrapped themselves around you in the comfort of your own home. You were alone to quell them. You were alone to indulge in them.

Now, all you could do was keep your head down and pray that your presence didn't bother more oncoming passengers. Soon, you were barricaded on all sides by strangers, those who jumped on to jump off. You didn't dare to bring your gaze on any of them, mentally blocked out their conversations in case any of them were directed towards you, involved you.

This was fine, you supposed. You could handle this.

You could handle keeping your eyes locked to your shoes, minding others as they walked passed. You'd feel the train shutter to a stop every so often, and patterns would disappear from your sight. Sounds grew quieter. You could breath again.

Until, a pair of shoes seemed to step directly in front of you. They didn't move until you forced yourself to look back up and—no.

The same man from before stood before you. You wanted to flee right then and there, but he held up a palm as though he read your thoughts. From his pocket, he pulled out a couple of crisp bills.

You stared at him, and he nudge them forward as the train's robotic intercom announced its next destination. Silent and slow, you grabbed the money from his hand.

He nodded with a smile, and that expression sent shivers down you. You watched as he bounded off the train, the train doors closing immediately after.

The train jerked and rumbled and left the station and man behind.

The next time you got on the train, you went for medicine.

You had scrounged up some antiques you had no more use for, and planned to visit any ol’ pawn shop you might come across. You had trouble gauging the worth of your properties. You might come out with more than enough or come out too short. You had already made peace with the possibility of both. Though in your heart, you desperately hoped for the former. But you couldn’t waste your time mulling over such minute details like that. You’d since learn to count your blessings as they came, to face the present and only the present.

And presently, a familiar face stared at you from across the train cart.

Dressed as prim and proper as ever, the same man from before whistled a pleasant melody from his seat. You grew uncomfortable, though you were surrounded and—not so—hidden by others. You couldn’t be sure he was staring at you, right?

You glanced down at your attire. Luckily, you didn’t look so dingy as you usually did. A new longcoat, bright yet blending well within the crowd, and you felt really proud about it. It was a treat. You’d figured holding onto currency that meant nothing to you would be a waste. He had given it to you for a reason, certainly.

Though you knew, begrudgingly, that any such sort of generosity came at the price of your image, your non-existent reputation. You would’ve—should’ve!—felt shame then. But…

You brought your gaze up to meet his. He seemed to trace his eyes over other parts of your body. He looked...contemplative. Again, you should have averted your eyes in shame. But your heart fluttered.

You didn’t feel judged.

Logically, you knew exactly what you were feeling. You knew exactly how childish your emotions were.

You left the train before he did, at the first sign of urbanization. Didn’t matter where you were, as long as you found the shops you were looking for. You walked into a pawn shop, bartered, betted, auctioned, and came out with what you hoped was adequate.

Rationally, you knew where you should have stopped at first. You knew exactly how foolish you were when you walked into an entertainment shop instead. One where they sold books and DVDs and music. You walked past the humming shoppers, strained an ear to see if you could catch an accustomed tune. You didn’t linger for long. Indulging in these feelings were dangerous. You set your eyes on the first book cover that caught your attention.

A man and a woman, coiled around each other in an embrace you’d never seen before. It had a title, perhaps an author, but it didn’t matter. You rung it through the cashier and stuffed it in your coat pocket before you could mentally process the cost. You’ll deal with the guilt at home.

It helped. A bit.

What didn't help—and you were quick to realize—was that your literacy was entirely not up to par. You struggled through words, lost the plot on many occasions.

You looked to your bookshelf filled with thick and vibrant spines, some bent, some peeling and revealing the aged yellow pages underneath. But none of them were yours, well, had been yours.

Your mother had spent years fretting over instructing you to read, count, and learn many skills that could get you by in life. And petulant you had refused her attempts to fool around instead. The horses won't know how to read, why should you?

You swallowed a lump in your throat. She was gone and you had no one but you to force yourself through these pages.

The next time you hopped on the train, you were shocked to see that the same man wasn't there. It was you and a cart full of empty seats and a handful of passengers.

In a way, this was the best possible outcome for you.

Taking a seat, you got to reading. It had gotten slightly easier for you, you were now able to get the gist of the passages every few paragraphs or so. The main couple seemed to be enthralled by each other, proclaiming their love for one another through stubborn and rebellious actions.

You yourself fell lost to their world, didn't even notice when someone found a place to sit right next to you. The jingle of jewelry caught your attention.

You will never not be awestruck by his presence.

The man's gaze fell to the book in your hands and you were too late to hide the cover once you realized what he was looking at. You grew warm when a smirk wormed its way onto his face.

No words were passed between you. Time went on in silence as the train rode closer and closer to your destination.

It felt a bit too comfortable to you. To be sat next to a man who seemed to exude such confidence and stability. It seemed uncanny that someone of his ilk would be fine to be near you, even more so when that someone also deems it alright to offer you a snack.

You blinked up at him as he extended his treat, his eyes focused on yours. It slowly came to you that this was the first time you had ever heard him speak.

You were struck by the warm chords of his voice! It sounded even more beautiful than the choruses he chanted under his breath. You didn’t know what to say, and in the wake of his own, you felt compelled to keep the sound of your voice a secret. Here, you had no idea what sounded normal and whether you did or did not. You never paid attention to the chatter around you, never spoke when spoken to. It hadn’t occurred to you that you might sound cacophonic to others.

So all you could do was nod. A tight smile on your lips while his grew. He broke off a piece and handed it to you, and you took great care to avoid the tips of his fingers—out of respect for him, of course. He watched as it met your lips; you almost squealed at the taste of it! A sweetness that couldn’t be found in the straw-or-blueberries of your gardens. It was dark, yet tasted light.

You felt silly for having such a strong reaction to something so small, especially under that strong gaze of his. But the edges of his eyes crinkled as he observed you. He broke off more pieces, gave them to you, and didn’t stop until all that was left was a shiny wrapper that he crumpled and shoved into his pocket.

The exchange ended there. He stood up, hung on tightly to the railing as the train jerked into its station. You thought that was it, and was ready to dive back into the book that was currently sliding off the edge of your lap. Then, he tapped you on your shoulder.

He pulled his hood over his head with a smile and said, “I’m Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo. Sunwoo.

You thought of carving that name into the plaque fixed over your room’s bed, somewhere private and personal. If only you knew how to spell it…

You could sound it out—S-U-H-N-W-U—but...something about that felt a bit...off. You were running out of things to sell. Pretty soon you might become one of those rowdy vendors that sold… aged vegetables to the people. That wasn’t to say you had no more belongings worth a coin. But even a woodlands-frolicker like yourself held sentimentality for some things.

Your horses for that matter. Betty and Jackson were pretty much useless at this point, replaced by a machine that raced faster than the trees around you when you rode on their backs. But you promised to yourself that you would die with them, if it ever came down to it.

Your hut was filled to the ceiling with tiny, wooden trinkets and clothing that would require a dream to fit you. Some of them were old children’s pajamas and riding gear. The others belonged to your mother. They were stitched over in cobwebs at this point—the dresses and shawls of your mother. Some part of you itched to bury them next to her, but… you weren’t sure if you were ready to say goodbye to your past just yet.

You hesitated on saying goodbye at all.

You don’t have to say anything, do anything. You were taught to face the present and expect the future.

The train should be arriving any time now. For a while, you had gauged where the train tracks went. From your cabin, growing up you had wondered what could bring such a violent ruckus. The trees did well to muffle the sounds of animalistic pain and anger, sorrowful songs, and cheerful bleating. You would only ever hear such noise when it came near to you. Young you would sprout through your front door to investigate. You had made many natural acquaintances this way.

The first time you had heard the raucous sound of a steam whistle you were struck by a terrifying sense of grief and unsettlement. It was unlike any sound you’d ever heard—too savage, the sound of pent up hunger or fear. You remembered rushing to your mother, heart beating so loud you could barely hear your own speech. Confusion filled you when she grinned; that cheeky grin she had whenever it was prime time for a joke, or a white lie about what lurked beyond the forest.

“That’s a train,” she had said, “it picks up lost travelers and takes them places that never spell out anything good. Best to avoid them.”

Dear mother... you prayed that she wouldn’t find out what went on in your head. You knew your surroundings so well you could navigate with your eyes closed. But, still, you couldn't deny just how utterly lost you were without her guidance.

You closed your eyes and clutched your head.

The train tracks were only west from here.

It came too early. It whizzed by. The vibrations gripped you by the bones and you nearly fell onto your back. Your legs were trembling for a whole other reason. The tears in your eyes swelled but didn’t spill for someone else. You kept them locked on the windows, hoping for that one other face you knew. Maybe he’d see you, and he’d mime words and pleas that you might change your mind and back out.

The train was gone and all you caught was your own face, and the deflation in which you realized.

The next time you hopped on the train you were carrying boxes upon boxes. Your cabin was effectively empty.

You prayed that you wouldn’t happen across Sunwoo this time. In fact, you had made the conscious decision of picking a different cart to ride in this time. You didn’t want him to see you like this, face blotchy as a homeless man in winter. You hugged the boxes closer to you, breathed in their woody scent. If all went according to plan, you would meet Sunwoo as a new person, for just a moment, like all the moments before. You would leave an impression on him as strong as his to you. All those fleeting memories from before would vanish and be replaced by something magnificent.

If you had Sunwoo’s musical talent, you would present to him your swan song and it would be half as beautiful as him.

You had even written him a letter to make up for all the silent conversations you had until now. Reading over it you could scarcely make out your own handwriting, and it was filled with eraser marks and misspellings (though you had double checked using your book as reference). But despite it all, it was enough.

And yet, when it came down to it, you found yourself more choked up than usual. You said nothing when Sunwoo found his spot beside you, said nothing when he asked how you were.

“I saw you...by the train tracks,” He looked more than concerned. “You were looking unwell.”

Rather than looking poor or unkempt, a small victory.

“I probably won’t be able to relate to anything you might’ve experienced." A truth that hurt more than you thought it would. “But...you could still talk about it, if you want…?”

Sunwoo paused, expecting a response from you. But what could you do? Your throat was clogged up by an invisible force. It hurt to talk almost as much as much as it hurt to breath. You would have nothing of substance to say even if it didn't. Nothing worth hearing.

Sunwoo inhaled deeply, thoughtfully. He looked at you again.

“I’ll listen,” and he folded his headphones in his lap.

Your days were filled with music now. Not only the sounds that would drip from Sunwoo’s lips, but from the speakers lodged just overhead. You bobbed your head to the tune as shoppers weaved in and out of the store.

The sun was going down, and it was a sight you could finally admire without lines of trees blocking your view. You tallied your stocks and were getting ready to head home. Your boss tipped his hat as he came out of the storage room, Sunwoo following close by. He was distracted by a small box in his hands. Despite that, the store keys jingled in his other hand as he tapped his finger along to the song playing. You smiled.

“Still unpacking the supplies?”

Sunwoo looked up at your voice, then a small smile graced his lips.

“Nah, just grabbing something special before I forget.”

“Special?” Your eyebrows shot up at that. A terribly restrained snicker came from your boss at the corner of the room. “Did you order a new sound board?”

To be truthful, you had no idea what a sound board was, and the box Sunwoo was holding seemed much too small to carry a board of any kind. But your knowledge of technology was expectedly limited, and you shared the same eagerness to learn such intricacies with your new boyfriend.

Your heart stuttered at the thought. A boyfriend. B-o-y f-r-i-e-n-d—and yours, at that! You had no idea such a thing existed when you were a kid. Sharing conversations with your new coworkers revealed that such themes—dating and lovers, and with that, flirting and protecting—were dreams and goals set since childhood.

The book from months ago was your first introduction to this . You thought it fiction at first, much like the fables and cautionary tales your mother imbued in you since birth. You knew what love was, of course, you knew what marriage was, too, despite its absence in your life. But all that led up to it might have been some impromptu decision, for all little-you was aware.

Yet here you were, dancing in the little steps it took to get to that point. It still didn’t feel real. You had already gone through the custom of dates more than several times, had already felt his lips on yours, had already felt what it was like to grasp his body in a hug. And yet, it still did not feel real.

You felt like you were floating when Sunwoo looked into your eyes. When Sunwoo pulled your hand into his and led you out the front store doors, you felt fifteen times lighter.

“This is for you,” He said, presenting the same box in his hand to you. You took it. It was incredibly light. Whatever was inside must be fragile. “Open it when you get home.”

“I can’t open it right now?” You grinned mischievously and reached for the slits of the box as though you were planning on tearing it open before him. He didn’t react, just looked at you with fond eyes and shrugged.

“I think you’d appreciate it more if you opened at your house,” He waved at your boss as he passed through, then locked the store doors behind him. He took your hand in his again and led you towards the train station. “S’not just any ol’ gift. I spent a lot of money on commissioning it.”

As he’d always done, even when you began dating and were no longer the same financially as you were before. Not since he had convinced his boss to bring on a new employee. No longer did you have to dig behind your cupboards to find something to sell for a pretty coin. No, actually your home had slowly became replenished. This gift won’t be the only one lining your shelves.

You expressed your gratitude once your stop arrived. You kissed him, savored the feel and taste of his lips, and hugged him goodbye.

You were more than excited to unravel the gift. Your horses greeted you by the stables. The silence of the forest was disturbed by your thrashing. You gave yourself no time to relax in the comfort of your own home. You cut through the tape and retrieved Sunwoo’s present with an anxious heart.

This was it:

A figurine. One with an idle person, kneeled on verdant grass, encircled by a small family of deer. A doe and her fawn. The person reaches out to the infant deer, pets it with the edges of their fingers while the larger mother looks on.

The sight of it made you cry.

Everything sounds louder when you’re alone in the wilderness.

Sunwoo’s screams were no exception.

“It’s okay,” you said, holding a bundle of radishes by the stem. Your horse Jackson nibbled on them in peace, but your Sunwoo thought anything but. He cowered behind you, keeping an eye on the horse while he waved away buzzing mosquitoes and other insects. “He’s not gonna hurt you.”

“Horses are predators disguised as prey,” He shrieked, “And I don’t fall for their act one bit! He seems gentle now but I heard those teeth can crush all the bones in your hand.”

“Yeah, if you stuck your hand in his mouth,” you took his hand as you said this. Forcibly passing the vegetables to Sunwoo, you slowly wrapped your hands around his. Carefully, you maneuvered him in front of you and in front of Jackson, who only sniffed his knuckles in response. Gently, “Do this.”

You felt Sunwoo’s breathing on your skin, hurried. Yet, he complied, bringing his hand up to the horse's mouth. He gasped when he felt his lips brush against him, but seemed more awestruck when Jackson daintily worked his teeth over the leaves.

When you felt it was right, you let him go and sat nearby on the stone steps to your house. What should have been a moment to relax, instead your heart seemed to be trying to beat its way out of your chest. You were home and you were with Sunwoo. The place that held your fondest memories and the place that spurned you in your darkest times.

There was more than confliction when you thought of this place.

This was your home, the one and only place you could truly call safe. For the majority of your life, this was all you knew. And yet, you grew to be ashamed of your living space, once mother vanished and you were left to discover that you were the anomaly, not the “travellers.” (In the end, you became one yourself.)

You learned to move past that oddly rooted self-pity. But some of it still lurked. Especially now, with Sunwoo steps away from welcoming himself into your personal space.

You still only had a vague idea of what ‘looking presentable’ meant. Your coworkers would dust off knicks-and-knacks and giggle about how ‘dated’ some looked. Such words meant nothing to you. That is, until you brought home a city-raised boy. Then, suddenly they meant everything.

But there were times Sunwoo never passed judgement on you, though he was well within his right to.

You looked back at Sunwoo to see that he’d warmed up to Jackson. The horse gobbled down the last of the radishes, and neighed happily in his direction. Sunwoo’s cheeks bunched up in a giddy smile. You noted, as he ran his hand up and down Jackson’s side, that he shared the same gentleness with him as he did with you.

You got up from your seat and reached your boys. Sunwoo looked at you when you pulled his hand into yours, a smile on your face.

“Ready to go inside?”

Tea was drained. Snacks were set and wolfed down and Sunwoo’s lips were on yours.

There were many things you were feeling, many thoughts crossed your mind as he pulled you close to his body while you savored his heat. He smelt good, felt better, but above all, he was sweet. Sweeter than chocolate, sweeter than any berry you could ever hope to pluck.

It had been two years since you had met on the train. Two years since you thought you had made your final decision. Now you could look back at the past with pitiful fondness.

“You know, when I first saw you I thought you were a prince of some kind,” you huffed when you pulled back. You made note of the color of his cheeks and lips, how glossy they were up close. “In fact I thought everyone around me were nobles.”

“You…” He began, but paused to smile. “I won’t lie, I was intrigued by you. The train that runs past here is pretty remote, so I knew pretty much every face that boarded and departed that thing. Then you came, and you certainly weren’t from town.”

His hand began combing through your hair, gently untangling the knots and twirling at the ends. “Didn’t know where you came from or were planning to go, and apparently neither did you. You were lost and I was curious and hoped that maybe we’d get off at the same stop. Then mine came and you were still sitting there and I thought, man, if this is the only time we cross then I’d like to at least do this person one thing, do this one favor, and hope for the best.”

You hummed. Hearing that felt nice. Feeling him on you was nice. Sunwoo then pressed a warm kiss onto your forehead.

“Karma certainly worked itself out for me.”

---

A/N: damn editing this rlly made this story seem all over the place ANYWAY i finished this fic within days then was stumped on the ending for w e e k s bc i wanted the last interaction to be abt first impressions and well….it was either sunwoo having a savior complex or being like “yeah so i thot u were a homeless bum” but i got tired of putting it off so fuck it. cheesy corny dialogue bc i wrote myself into a corner and I GIVE UP!!

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 3 years

Note

Pinned under wreckage. Hmm, how about Intruality with Remus a construction worker where something went wrong? Preferably happy ending but any will do. (keep up the good work! You're amazing!!)

(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written)

Requests for this card are closed, thank you to anyone who sent in requests! If you don’t want to see these you can block the tag #false bthb. As always shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future stories, whether it be for bad things happen bingo or any of the other series, one shots or in general!

Thanks for the request, I hope you like it!

General Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library

Hold Onto Me

Summary: Patton had just wanted to deliver lunch to his husband when he saw the emergency vehicles at the construction site. All he can hope for is that keeping ahold of his hand will be enough. (Happy Ending)

Warnings: anxiety, major injury, blood, hospitals, emergency situation (if there are more please let me know)

Prompt: Pinned Down By Wreckage

Ships: Romantic Intruality (Patton x Remus)

WC: 4038

Disclaimer: I don't think this is how construction practices work but for the sake of the beginning that’s how it's gonna work because angst. The procedure to get him out is however fairly accurate, I did a bit of research as to how someone is rescued from that kind of situation but other than that please take the accuracy of this situation with a grain of salt.

Remus’ heavy boots thudded loudly on the thin catwalk leading over top of where the scaffolding was set in place for the floor of the third story of the new building, not that he could hear it over the general din of construction work. Everything looked good, he was only here to do a general sweep over before anyone else came up to lay the insulation and then actual flooring to make sure nothing would collapse. Being so high up he had a wonderful view of the fair bit of land whoever was moving into this house would own when it was done: a field with woods surrounding it with a long, winding road leading up to the front entrance.

It was stupidly extravagant, some dream house Roman would have loved to live in if he was rich enough to afford but Remus had been so excited to work on it, and still was. He got to help with the design work and use his hands for hours and hours and even though he came home tired and sweaty he still loved it with every fiber of his being. Not to mention he got to go home to Patton who would smile and cup his cheek to kiss him before pushing him down the hall to shower while he started on dinner. He’d come out to help and they’d settle down at the table or couch to talk or watch a movie and then either work on their own things or cuddle up in bed depending on how tired they were. It was mundane and domestic most of the time but Remus loved that with Patton. He had him and his job and his stupid brother and he couldn’t be happier; everything in his life made him feel safe and happy and comfortable and he couldn’t imagine asking for anything better.

Of course it could all be ruined in an instant. One wrong step and he could certainly plummet to his death. The scaffolding could crack and he’d be impaled on a jagged piece of wood. He could break every bone in his body or be paralyzed for life and be a burden on everyone who knew him and- Remus shook his head impatiently, willing the thoughts away as he turned carefully and began making the rest of the way across the catwalk. Thoughts like that kept him on his toes at least but it was best not to dwell on them too much. He was always careful and he wasn’t about to jinx himself by thinking of everything that could go wrong on the job.

He almost laughed when he felt it: a shift under his feet that meant something could be loose. Of course he would manage to have the most ironic timing in the world. Carefully stepping back he looked closely to see if he could tell what the problem was but he saw nothing. Biting his lip he looked back up at the last couple of feet he had to walk. He should definitely turn around and tell someone to look and fix whatever might be wrong, but he could also save the time and try to figure out himself what it could be if he could just get a better vantage point. It was only a couple of feet, if he stepped wide enough he might be able to avoid whatever problem there was.

Mind made up he stepped forward again more gingerly than he had ever done anything in his life, faintly hearing the lunch bell ringing and the gradual silence that was left from the various machines being turned off and tools being put down. Good, he thought, that way if anything happens no one’s around to get hurt. He screwed his mouth to the side as he quickly dismissed that thought as well, mentally kicking himself for the possible jinx. It was only a couple of feet, just one step and he could hug the wall and lean over to see what the problem was. Honestly with the way the skeleton of the wall was he could probably squeeze himself between the gaps of the unfinished floor and climb down to safety to avoid even having to hop back to the catwalk and go all the way back around. Leaning forward a bit for stability he brought his arms out and quickly lunged for the one, grabbing a hold of two support beams and digging into them so hard his fingernails began to ache. Despite that his new position seemed to be fine, no more shifting under his feet as the tips of his boots found a bit of purchase on the floor's framework by the wall. Grinning through the adrenaline rush he maneuvered himself around until he was facing back towards the room and carefully surveyed the floor. They had laid the framework out in a hurry- ill advised but for the time crunch they were under it had seemed necessary. The consequence for them rushing it though thankfully just seemed to be a missing support plank, making a couple of the beams bow under the catwalk when they were walked on. An easy enough fix and thankfully one that would be relatively quick.

Remus looked down with a grimace. He could climb down...but he had already gotten in trouble once for using scaffolding as a jungle gym even if he was trying to be careful not to be caught. He’d rather not be labeled as a liability not even halfway through the project and since in reality there wasn’t that much wrong with the floor he really didn’t have an excuse not to walk back the way he’d come. Sighing in disappointment he stepped forward and began to make his way back across, the shifting under his feet only making him slightly nervous as he took a bigger step to avoid the worst of it- only to immediately regret it as the entire catwalk shifted to the right as the board he was using slid away from the framework. The catwalk was mostly just a series of shorter boards placed in a sort of grid pattern so you could walk around without there actually having to be a floor. The board he was standing on and currently trying his hardest to rebalance on had shifted under his weight making the edge fall off the board underneath it, meaning it was now hanging onto a beam less than three inches thick by a couple of inches at its end. So not only was then the floor not laid well but the catwalk hadn’t been properly secured either, and if he squinted even closer there wasn’t much of the floor that was laid completely securely.

Swearing profusely a selfish part of him wished someone else was in this position besides him, maybe they could have figured out a way out of this mess. As it was it was just Remus alone up here, everyone else gone on lunch break and if they noticed he was missing they probably assumed he was either in the bathroom or fucking around somewhere he probably shouldn’t be...such as on the second story unsecured catwalk watching the floor settle and resettle under his weight with sweat dripping down his face. This was supposed to have been a quick job- ten minutes at most of him poking around to find something and now that he had he was risking practically the entire floor collapsing underneath him. He didn’t want to call out for help in case it actually did fall through and trap someone beneath it so it seemed as if it was simply going to be a waiting game in which either he or the floor would come out on top.

And with another shift underneath him it didn’t seem like it was his lucky day.

-----

Patton sang softly along to the song playing through the radio, tapping his fingers along with the beat on the wheel. He didn’t do this often but he really wanted to surprise Remus at work with a lunch. He had packed a little extra for dinner as well hoping he wasn’t too late to give it to him. Remus had said yesterday he’d have to stay a little later than usual to look over some things and do...whatever it was he had said he had to do to play catch up in the huge project the company had undertaken, an apology heavy on his tongue that Patton had preemptively forgiven him for with a peck on the lips and a smile. Though he wasn’t happy how over worked his husband often was, he more blamed the company and commissioners than Remus himself. He worked hard and it showed, and Patton was always proud of him. So, packed lunch and dinner it was with hopefully a quick visit before he had to leave since he was in no way authorized personnel but the people in charge often simply rolled their eyes and waved him through, vaguely threatening him with promised of forced exit if he stayed too long, which Remus never let him do anyway since an active construction zone wasn’t exactly safe.

The sound of sirens in the distance cut off his thoughts as his blood ran cold. Sirens didn’t have to mean anything of course, there were many reasons you’d hear them- but this was practically out in the middle of nowhere, near a construction zone which was again out in the middle of nowhere. Cursing he sped up just a little bit, desperate to get to the site and hopefully disprove what he already knew he’d see. He nearly started crying right then when he turned into the long drive only to see the house surrounded by emergency vehicles and people in uniform bustling from point to point to do whatever it was they had to do. He could see the part of the collapsed house beyond that, what looked like a cave in from the second story that had taken the supporting wall with it, though how something like that had happened Patton couldn’t fathom.

He hadn’t even clicked the engine all the way off when he was out of the car and running to who he knew was in charge, dodging out of the way and trying not to make a nuisance of himself so they didn’t have a reason to kick him off the property. There was no sign of Remus as far as he was looking, not even the sound of his rather loud voice cutting through the worried din of everyone else’s voices which only served to drop his stomach further as he swallowed hard around the nausea. Please God no, he thought. Please please please-

“Where’s Remus?” Patton didn’t think there was a need to bother with formalities in this kind of situation. He just needed to figure out where his husband was, go to him and make sure he was safe. It was a simple plan, the simplest set of goals he’d ever set in his life, but his heart sank as the supervisor turned to him with a grave look on his face that told Patton everything he needed to know before the other even began shaking his head.

“There was an accident. The floor- the floor must have been loose and nobody thought- I didn’t think to check on him after he went up there. We all know how he is.” He gestured helplessly to where several people were gathered around a section of rubble, the weight of a whole building bearing down on whatever they were puttering around. “We know where he is; it’s just getting him out.”

Patton didn’t need to hear anymore, noticing some of the people leaving the group and leaving a bit of space he could see the mess through. Most of it was just wood beams sticking out in every direction like a crudely placed beaver damn, some insulation from the ground floor poking up at the bottom. If he squinted though he could just barely make out a small space that had been cleared, a small hole that he could only assume was what they could safely clear away to see if Remus was still-

Pushing forward before he could finish the thought he hurried over to where the space had been made and knelt down next to it, laying a shaking hand next t o the rubble and iting his lip tp keep from crying.

“Sir you can’t be here-”

“That’s my husband in there.” Patton cut the woman off sharply, only feeling slightly guilty for his tone.

The woman softened. “I understand but-”

“I’ll leave when I’m in the way but right now no one’s doing anything so I’m staying right here so I can be with him. I’m not going to touch or disrupt anything but I’m not moving.” Patton looked up, defiantly daring her to continue, but after a moment she just nodded and backed away. He turned back to the space as a slight moan alerted him, gasping as long fingers emerged from the cramped darkness and reached out. A high pitched whine left Patton’s mouth at the sight of how bloody it was but he nevertheless reached forward desperately and grasped the fingers in a gentle hold. Faintly he heard a warning not to pull him as assistance was yelled for but he only shook his head as tears streamed down his face. Everything in him was screaming to lift the beams himself and drag Remus to safety but he knew it couldn’t work like that. This was a delicate situation that needed to be handled with care but the frustration only built as the seconds ticked by and nothing seemed to be getting done.

“Remus honey, I’m here okay? I’m right here and so are people that are going to get you out of there. You just hold onto me baby everything will be okay.” He nearly choked on his own uncertainty but he couldn’t afford to let emus think he was anything other than certain he’d make it out of this. His fingers squeezed weakly and Patton’s breath hitched in relief, continuing to rattle out reassurances that he’d be out soon and they were doing what they could he just had to hold on a little bit longer. His head snapped up as a hand landed on his shoulder, one of the paramedics motioning people forward with equipment.

“Keep holding his hand and talking to him, you’re probably helping keep him awake.” Patton decided he didn’t want to think too hard on what that might mean, instead simply scooching over slightly to make room for whatever it was they were doing and running his thumb gently over Remus’ knuckles as he took a steadying breath.

“They’re going to get you out Remus. They have equipment they’re setting up to get you out and then everything will be fine.” His fingers were squeezed again gently and the medic must have noticed since they paused and leaned down.

“We’re going to put two sturdy boards on either side of you to help stabilize what’s laying on top of you and then put airbags on the other side of them to lift everything up. That should give us enough room to remove you safely. If at any point your space gets too cramped or you feel things settle down on you more, squeeze your husband’s hand and he’ll let us know okay? We’re working as quickly as we can to get you out.” Remus squeezed his hand again and the medic nodded, signaling for things to begin. “This is called cribbing. It’s just putting a basic framework underneath everything to hopefully stop it from settling down more. And then those long tubes will be put in and inflated to lift it up, at which point you'll have to move out of the way so we can get him out.”

Remus squeezed his hand again and both the action and explanation Patton felt his anxiety ebb the tiniest amount. He nodded to the kind woman and moved to hold Remus with both hands as if doing so would make the process go any faster. As the emergency crew bustled around him and got everything into place he simply sat with cramping legs and blurring vision, reassuring the trapped man through soft touches and softer words as they moved thick, wedged shaped beams in front of the pile of debris. Holding his breath Patton tightened his grip slightly as they began inching the beams underneath, focusing his attention solely on the bloodied hand in his grip, poised to react at even the slightest twitch of discomfort. The boards were halfway in when his hand was squeezed weakly, jolting him out of his tense state to yell out a loud “Stop” to the team. They froze and looked to the woman still holding Patton’s shoulder, who leaned forward to be heard.

“Squeeze once if the pile is shifting, twice if we’re hitting you with the boards.” Two quick squeezes were felt and she nodded slightly. “Is there any way you can move without endangering yourself so we can get them in a bit more?”

He felt a slight squeeze on his hand before shuffling was heard accompanied by a quiet whimper that tore straight through Patton’s heart as he fought to simply hold the hand in support and not yank him out himself. He nodded as his hand was squeezed again and kept up his quiet reassurances, speaking just loud enough for Remus to hear him over the directions the medics were constantly throwing back and forth. After what seemed like an eternity the wedges were in place and Remus gave the go ahead to squeeze in the air bags. No one dared breathe as they were squeezed into place, no response from Remus unless they asked for confirmation that everything was still okay.

Everything was going fine- the bags were filling up and Patton could see the rubble being lifted slowly but surely up and off his husband. They were so close to having him out and okay that it almost didn’t register when Remus’ hand went limp in his own. Patton felt the muscles slacken and the hand become sudden deadweight in between his own. Eyes widening he squeezed his hand gently, then perhaps a bit too hard as panic gripped him.

“Remus honey? Are you okay?” The slick hand remained still, fingers not even twitching to indicate he had been heard. “Remus? Remus!”

He thrashed as he was pulled away, screaming louder than he ever had in his life as Remus’ hand slipped away from him and he was hauled to his feet and backward. The medics crowded to fill the space and he lost sight of his hand completely, screaming louder and scratching madly at the arms around his middle.

“Let me go! Let me go, he needs me!” The logic that Patton more needed him than Remus needed Patton over the medics at the moment was flung out of the window as he bucked backwards attempting to throw off whoever it was but the person just held him tighter as they walked him away, heedless of his ear splitting screams. Vaguely he was aware they were talking to him but Patton couldn’t care less as the phantom sensation of Remus’ hand going slack in his own tore his mind apart.

“P…….Pat…...Patton please!” Virgil’s yell finally cut through the panicked fog and provided the window he needed to haul Patton the rest of the way over bside the parked ambulance and sit him down on the ground. “They’re going to get him, Patton, it's okay. I promise you He’ll be okay. And we’ll ride in the ambulance and go into the hospital with him and they’ll make sure he’ll be back to making idiotic decisions in no time.”

The words meant to reassure him didn’t make Patton feel any better but all the fight left him, adrenaline running its course as he buried his face in his friend’s chest and wept.

-----

Remus had Patton and Virgil as his first two people to call in an emergency and since Patton had already gotten there and hadn’t checked his phone someone must have then called Virgil when he hadn’t picked up. As bad as he felt he was grateful the other was there as he all but collapsed while they finally got Remus’ still, limp body out from under the wreckage and onto a stretcher, stabilizing him as much as they could before ushering him into the ambulance and driving away after denying them riding along since they needed the extra room. Patton all but dragged Virgil to his car, the other swiping away his keys and insisting he drive as Patton was in no state to and Patton really just agreed if only to get them going faster.

They didn’t get to go in Remus’ room for hours after that, apparently suffering a broken legs and ribs, a sprained risk and a minor concussion that had taken the rest of the day to fix, nearly sending Patton into hysterics when they were informed with the final comment being that he had gotten off lucky. Thankfully Roman and Logan had arrived at that point and they were able to sit with Patton through the night and morning before Logan suggested he take Virgil to get a change of clothes and other necessities so they’d be able to stay longer, Roman volunteering to come along to get Patton and Remus’ things as well.

The hospital room was quiet save for the soft beeping of the machines lining the bed and the gentle huffing breaths of Remus as he slept, thankfully peacefully, in the hospital bed that Patton had his chair pulled all the way up to to hold his now bandaged hand between his. He yawned loudly and laid his head on his arm, eyes fighting to stay open as he promised himself he was merely resting his eyes but drifting off rather quickly considering the stress of the past couple of days. Confident he would wake if anything happened and trusting the others to come back soon he allowed himself to drift off.

-----

Patton awoke slowly to the feeling up fingers running through his messy hair, taking the time to gently brush out all the tangles of the previous day. He hummed happily and snuggled further into the tough, only to grunt in pain as his neck protested the action with a rather loud crack. Reality hit him all at once and he picked his head up to see Remus smiling tiredly down at him, Head wrapped neatly and already crooked nose set after what must have been the third or fourth break he had already suffered. Patton’s eyes filled with tears as he sat up and slowly reached for his husband, hands coming to rest on each cheek to make sure he was really there and alright. Smile tugging wider Remus brought his own hands up to rest on Patton’s, thumbs slowly running over the knuckles like he had done when Remus had been trapped.

“If I wouldn’t hurt you more and get hauled out by security I would slap you so hard for what you did.” In his tired state Patton honestly couldn’t think of anything better to say, but Remus only chuckled weakly and nodded.

“I love you too.”

Laughing softly with him Patton leaned forward to rest his forehead against Remus’ before pressing a featherlight kiss to the tip of his nose and softly whispered “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

“I always am with you.”

Later a nurse would come in and smile at the two: Patton tucked under Remus’ chin and clutching onto his hands like a lifeline as they both slept. Quietly, he would turn out the light and shut the door, reassuring the people camping on the chairs outside that they were alright and they would sigh and shake their heads with amusement. The scolding could wait, they decided. For they would leave them to hold onto each other for as long as they needed.

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not-close-to-straight · 4 years

Text

Lost and Found (Final)

Final Chapter! Special shout out to @striving-artist who has been waiting since October 2019 for her turn on the commission list. This storyline was one I had never considered and wholly enjoyed writing, I loved the different versions of Winteriron we got to meet in this fic and as always, I loved re-writing the movies to better fit our HeadCanons.

@striving-artist thank you for trusting my words and commissioning me!

Cheers!

MASTERLIST HERE

******************

“Mr. Stark?” Steve knocked on the wall of the living room before coming inside. “Your uh-- your robot butler let me in, I hope I’m not intruding.”

“You’re certainly not intruding but I will absolutely put you out on your spangled ass if you call me Mr. Stark again.” Tony did up a few buttons on his shirt and then stood to shake the Captain’s hand. “Please, it’s just Tony.”

“Tony.” Steve grinned. “Sorry, old habits die hard. I might not be the upstanding citizen everybody likes to say I was, but it sure is hard to drop those sir’s and ma’ams.”

“Did you call Auntie Peggy ma’am when you saw her again?” Tony motioned for Steve to sit. “I heard you only managed to see her the one time before she passed, and you couldn’t show up to the funeral without revealing the whole out-of-the ice-thing.”

“I did only get to see her the one time close to the end, but Tony believe me, I called Peggy ma’am even when we were in bed.” Steve deadpanned, and Tony snorted a laugh until the Captain said, “No seriously. Seriously.”

“I’d say I was surprised by that, but Auntie was far too open with the details of her past for me to be surprised she liked to be called ma’am in bed.” Tony laughed louder at the Captain’s semi-horrified face. “But hey, I��d rather not talk about my dearly departed Auntie and her bedroom gymnastics with the still weirdly young guy in my living room. What can I do for you today, Captain? Come by to see James?”

“Actually came by to see you.” Steve sat down and spread his arms out along the backrest of the couch. “See how you were doing and if there was anything I could do to help you along the way.”

“Well, I’m doing fine.” Tony flipped his shirt open to show the Captain the still beautifully blue arc reactor and the distinct lack of black sludge in his veins. “Close to a month of rest and relaxation and the palladium’s pretty much out of my system, my mental focus is back to a hundred and ten percent according to the tests I’m sort of obsessively taking, and now that I can eat without vomiting, I’ve even put on some weight. Doing just fine.”

And then with a smile, “And no offence Captain, but I doubt there’s much you and your pretty muscles could do to solve something like how to create and stabilize a viable element that very well might be the key to unlocking clean, sustainable power for generations to come.”

“Clean sustainable power for generations.” Steve repeated. “Gonna get all that from the battery in your chest?”

“The one in my chest is just a first step, and now that I have a new lease on life?” Tony inclined his head towards a set of blue prints on the side table. “There will be one powering my new place in New York, Stark Tower.”

“I’ve seen the plans.” Steve nodded. “It’s ugly. Big mark on the New York skyline, what uh-- what does Tasha call it? Some sort of phallic over compensation?”

“Ms. Romanov’s wit wounds me even from afar.” Tony snorted. “And it’s Tasha now, huh? You two gotten any closer to dating, or are you still fore-playing by way of intense fire arms training and weirdly long early morning runs?”

“Eh, we’ve moved up to foreplay by way of Terminator movies and Brazilian Ju-jitsu.” Steve replied as if he didn’t see the absolute hilarity in his words. “Slow but steady wins the race, isn’t that right?”

“I’ve always been more of the drive by and snatch guy myself.” Tony tossed Steve a bottle of water then gestured briefly. “I know you didn’t come here to make small talk, and even though I’m always glad to see James’s best pal and a living American icon, let’s just get to it. What’s on your mind?”

“Sure.” Steve drained the water bottle in one go and wiped at his mouth. “We did some checking into Vanko and his story about your Dad. Turns out the claim and accusation was pretty solid, Tony. I know you want to believe the guy is just a victim of the circumstances out of his control but the fact is, his dad was a bonafide bad guy and by crashing the Grand Prix, Ivan headed right down the same road.”

“Damn it.” Tony swallowed and looked away. “That-- that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You’d rather hear that Howard framed someone for the patent to some tech, than hear a baddie is a legitimate baddie?”

“I don’t know.” he shook his head. “After hearing that story he told about Howard, I wanted to believe he could be reformed or maybe it was a mis-understanding. I know what it feels like to be painted as a villain cos of my dad-or dad figure choices. Granted, I didn’t blow up a race, but what Stane had my company do is worse by about a thousand times. I hoped Ivan was the same. Maybe inadvertently a bad guy because of the stories he was told, even though the stories were lies.”

“Well they weren’t lies.” Steve countered. “And by the way, you’ve done a great job recovering from what Stane did. Turning around from ‘whoops we’re selling weapons of mass destruction to terrorists’ to being the guy blowing up the weapons-- you should be proud of yourself, Tony.”

“I’m proud of Pepper for not cracking under the pressure of keeping everything together while I went through some pretty spectacular self adjustments.” Tony deflected. “But thank you for telling me about Ivan. Any word on why Justin Hammer was asking about him so much the last few months?”

“No idea what that was about, but Fury moved Vanko before Hammer got too close.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Smarmy, self satisfied prick. The guy actually looks physically oily, like a damn snake.”

“He definitely does.” Tony grinned. “What else is on your mind, Steve?”

“You asked Fury to check in on Pierce?” Steve wanted to know, and Tony nodded. “For all sorts of need-to-know and security clearance reasons, you gotta stop asking questions.”

“The hell I will--”

“Tony.” Steve’s voice dropped at least an octave in warning. “I’m telling you. Stop asking questions. I can’t do what I need to do with you poking around.”

“No offence Captain but sometimes--”

“--sometimes problems are solved with brute strength and not politics.” Steve cut in again. “That’s how I dealt with bad guys back in war, that’s how I deal with them now. The people who did all that shit to Bucky don’t deserve to keep breathing and by the Dawn’s Early Light, they won’t keep breathing, you understand?”

“...you’re going to kill him.”

“I didn’t survive seventy years in the ice to wake up and deal with Nazi’s again.” Steve confirmed. “Don’t care which flag they’re marching under. Fury knows where I stand with that, and since there’s not much he could do to stop me anyway, he just wants me to be at least slightly subtle about it all.”

Tony put both hands up peacefully. “I’ll stay out of the way and let you work.”

“Thanks.” Steve folded his arms and tapped his foot on the floor a few times. “You aren’t going to make fun of me for swearing by the Dawn’s Early Light? I’ve been working on that line all week, thought for sure it would get a rise outta you. I’m trying it out for some new propaganda films SHIELD wants to put out to officially announce my return from the ice. What do you think? Too much?”

“I think it’s exactly the sort of patriotic bullshit we all expect a newly risen Captain America to say.” Tony confirmed. “And trust me, JARVIS recorded it, and it will be your ringtone and notification setting from now until the end of time.”

Steve cheesed a grin at him, and Tony gestured for the soldier to keep going. “Alright, baddies and Nazi’s aside, what else did you come this way for?”

The Captain leaned forward and clasped his hands loosely between his knees, rubbing his thumbs one over the other for a minute as he thought. “Tony, I wanted to talk to you about Bucky.”

“...sure?”

“I would like to know your intentions with my best friend.” Those All American blues hardened like steel and Tony raised his eyebrows in confusion. “I grew up watching Bucky hide everything about who he really was and that always killed me. But after everything that’s happened---”

Steve pursed his lips. “Tony, I won't stand to see Buck’s heart broken. I won’t.”

“Oh my god, is Captain America giving me the shovel talk?”

“Steve Rogers is giving you the ‘please treat my bud right’ talk.” Steve corrected. “The Captain America shovel talk will involve an actual shovel and it will be a one sided conversation, you understand?”

“Steve.” Tony chuckled and tapped pointedly at his watch, the one he’d finalized with the nano tech gauntlet design and was only ever 2.4 seconds from blowing someone through a wall. “Are you threatening me?”

“I’m fuckin’ begging you to do right by my best friend.” the Captain answered bluntly. “I know all about that fancy gauntlet and if this were you coming into my house like this, I’d probably have put my shield through your throat and dropped you in the river--”

“Seriously, Captain America. Work on the violent tendencies.”

“--I was five and a half feet tall and didn’t break a hundred pounds until I was in my twenties.” Steve said bluntly. “You wanna talk small man syndrome and hair trigger temper, we can talk it all day. But for right now? I just need to know you’re not setting out to break Bucky’s heart now that you’re healthy and Tony Stark again.”

“Does Tasha know about your small man syndrome? Cos I feel like she would have several pointed and devastating below the belt comments to lay on you.” Tony quipped, and the tension broke when they laughed together. “Alright Spangles, less than thinly veiled threats and worries aside….?”

“Bucky says you make him feel found.” Steve said softly. “Does he make you feel that way, Tony? Do you love him like he loves you?”

“Ask me again next week.” Tony took a sip of his own water. “Yeah?”

“What’s next week?”

“Next week is six months to the day that Bucky and I met in that diner over pancakes, so I figure that’s as good a day as any to uh....” Tony paused, shy. “To make it official. You think he’ll say yes if I pop the question?”

Steve’s eyes widened first in surprise and then in hope. “Can I be there to take a picture?”

“Oh absolutely not.”

“I’ll stand in the background and no one will notice!”

“You are six and a half feet of corn fed bullshit, Mr. Rogers. No way.”

“Tony, this is my best friend--!”

“And you can congratulate us along with everyone else when we make the announcement at a dinner date to be determined.”

“I’ve waited seventy years to see Bucky happy!”

“Not a chance.”

“Damn you Stark!” Steve burst out, and James walked in just in time to hear Tony crack up laughing over it.

“Stevie.” He tossed his friend a salute, then bent and kissed Tony for a long minute. “What’cha doing cussin’ at my fella?”

“Over reacting when he doesn’t get his way.” Tony pulled James down onto the couch and turned obediently into his arms, snuggling close to his left side. “The usual. “

“That is not my usual.” Steve huffed and James corrected with a quick, “Oh Stevie, that is always your usual. What are you over reacting about this time? Tights too tight? Glitter not smudged on your cheeks just right? Spend too much time polishin’ your--” he coughed pointedly, “--shield alone these days?”

Tony cackled over Steve’s scandalized expression. James was so fun these days, rarely serious and almost always laughing, teasing and flirting and giving Steve the sort of hell Tony had always thought Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes would give each other.

And Steve was way more fun than Tony could have ever imagined, quippy and sarcastic, stubborn to the point of jack-assery but also quick to apologize and quicker still to try and make it up. Tony had never thought he’d be dating Bucky Barnes and calling Captain America a friend but here he was anyway.

In love.

Friends.

Found.

“Tony!” It was Rhodey coming to pick him up for dinner, and James nudged Tony teasingly when the Captain automatically jumped to his feet and snapped off a quick salute. “Oh ho, easy does it, Spangles. No need to salute when we’re just hanging out.”

Rhodey waved the Captain off, then kicked at James’s foot. “Move, Snowflake, let me at Tony for a minute.”

“Glad to see all the nicknames are catching on.” Tony cheesed a grin up at his best friend and accepted a kiss on his cheek. “Is this your official ‘I’m ditching you for dinner’ kiss?”

“You’ve ditched me for at least a thousand dinners.” The Colonel informed him dryly. “And you know better than anyone that when Ms. Potts demands lobster, you take her beautiful self to Maine for some fresh ass lobster.”

“You two going to bitch about how mad you still are I didn’t tell you I was sick?”

“If you mean we’re gonna hex a voodoo doll of your dumb ass and poke it with shit as revenge for you not letting us know you were purposefully, slowly killing yourself?” Rhodey flicked Tony in the ear. “Yeah, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Besides, you’re clearly tangled up with Big and Blond and Bigger and Brunette, so it’s not like you’ll miss me. I’ll call you when I get back. Love you.”

“Love you too, Rhodey.” Tony waved until the Colonel had gone, then nudged James gently. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Mini golf with Happy.” James ran his fingers through Tony’s hair and kissed his temple. “It’s Tuesday, babydoll. Can’t miss it. You and Stevie wanna come?”’

“Captain?” Tony raised his eyebrows. “Mini golf? Might soothe your wounded feelings after being left out of other things?”

“What other things?” James asked, but Tony just hushed him and waited for Steve to answer.

“Putt putt golf?” The blond thought about it for a minute, then nodded emphatically. “Square up.”

“Square up?” Tony whispered. “Is he serious with that?”

“God, Tony. You have no idea.” James whispered back. “This will be the most intense night of putt-putt in the world.”

“Can’t wait.” Tony leaned in for a kiss that went on and on, James’s hand creeping up by habit to rest over his heart, Tony’s fingers digging into the scars where metal arm met immovable muscle. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” James caught him up in another kiss, and when they parted, Tony couldn’t help thinking about the ring he had tucked away in a drawer in the lab.

Soon.

“Hey sweet thing.” James tipped Tony’s chin up. “Can I ask you something real quick? Something important.”

“Yeah.” Tony smiled and then shot a look over at Steve. “Captain? Wanna leave us alone for a minute?”

“Not...super.” Steve stalled, but when James rolled his eyes, Steve huffed and headed out, mumbling about having to buy golf clubs for putt putt.

“I gotta say, I had no idea Captain America was such a goofy gooberson.” Tony decided. “That was definitely left out of the history books. One minute he looks like he’s going to patriotically rampage, the next he’s threatening violence, then he’s pouting about mini golf. How did you deal with him?”

“Put him over my shoulder and carry him away when he got obnoxious.” James shrugged, and when Tony asked, “You mean when he was small?”, the soldier answered, “Nah, I mean last week when he got weird about a smudge on his new shoes.”

Tony laughed and laughed until James kissed him just to shut him up. “C’mon Tony, I gotta know somethin’ important.”

Tony obediently sobered up and James kissed him again as a thank you. “I uh-- I wanted to know if me only knowin’ my last name for a few months now affects how we should hyphenate.”

“Hyphenate.” Tony repeated blankly. “Hyphenate what?”

“If we’re gonna be Barnes-Stark or just Barnes.” James explained, as if that clarified anything at all.

“James, I don’t--”

“Our last names, babydoll.” The soldier pulled a simple gold band from his pocket and held it up to the light. “You wanna be Mr. Barnes or Mr. Stark-Barnes?”

“James.” Tony gaped at the band. “What-- are you-- are you proposing right now?”

“Sorta terribly.” James admitted. “But yeah, Tony. I got some of my things back from the museum and on the loop next’a my old dog tags was my Dad’s old ring and I figured, why wait? I love you and you love me and hell sugar, I’ve been waiting for so long to find someone and then you found me and now I don’t ever wanna lose you again.”

“You’re proposing to me.” Tony repeated. “James, I--”

“You don’t gotta answer me right now.” James whispered. “I know this isn’t romantic and fancy like you deserve but--”

“Yes.” Tony blurted, and James stopped, eyes widening. “Yes. Fuck yes, I’ll marry you.”

“I haven’t even officially asked you yet!”

“Well I learned my lesson about waiting till the last minute to say important things and then almost missing my chance.” Tony took the ring carefully and fit it onto his left hand. “So yes. The answer is yes. And later you’ll just have to act surprised when I propose to you--”

“--what?!”

“-- I was waiting till next week when it was our six month anniversary but this is better.” Tony pulled James in for a long kiss. “This-- this is better. I don’t want to wait anymore or take our time or any of that. We’re not running out of time anymore but I don’t want to waste what we do have. The answer is yes.”

“When ya get around to asking me next week, my answer will be yes too.” James promised and Tony closed his eyes when his soldier pulled him in close again. “Love you so much, sweet thing.”

“I love you too.”

**************

Happy was all huffy when they finally made it out of the house holding hands and trading kisses, and Steve waiting impatiently by the limo holding a hilariously small set of golf clubs and scowling impatiently.

“What’d you guys do, get lost?” Happy demanded and James just smiled down at Tony.

“Yeah. But we found each other again, so everything’s just fine.”

Everything’s just fine.

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#ncts fics #winteriron #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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quepasta · 3 years

Text

Breath of the Wild: A Warm Breath from the Mountains Chapter 1

Written by @quepasta and @freshbreezesworld .

Author note: A series of short stories about Link and Zelda after the events of Breath of the Wild. The series follows them as they explore their new world and what they mean to each other. Some of the biggest challenges they will face will be their mental health and the aftermath of the calamity. I (QuePasta) write Zelda's POV and freshbreezesworld writes Link's POV. Chapter 2 is coming soon! (You can also find this fanfic on AO3 by searching for A Warm Breath from the Mountains. The fic is posted on both of our accounts)

I followed behind him as we traversed through the heavy snow, the wind howling in our faces. Between the elixirs and the snowquill armor we both wore, I hardly registered the cold anymore. Or perhaps it was the exhaustion from running and climbing all day that prevented me from feeling the icy crystals that peppered my skin.

Link walked slowly but steadily ahead of me, his face was hidden by the hylian hood he adorned. Even though I couldn’t see his face I knew his eyes were darting every which way, always on the lookout for danger. I knew with each step he checked the ground for stability, pressing his foot down to check for traction. And I also knew that he was listening to my steps in case I started to slip, ready to catch me when I eventually would.

Forcing myself to match my pace to his and stepping in his footprints where I knew it was safe, I kept up as much as I possibly could. We were on the south side of the Hebra Mountains, our original destination being Biron Snowshelf. But now it was any sort of shelter we could find. I cursed myself again under my breath, it was my fault we were in the mountains anyway. Link and I had planned to head to Rito Village to investigate Vah Medoh, when I had made an offhand comment that I had never been to the Hebra Mountains. Before I knew it, Link had started leading us towards them.

The Hebra Mountains were a favorite of Link’s, I knew that from before the Calamity. He never really told me why he favored them, but I assumed I would find that out on our trip. We were making great time until the blizzard hit. We had been discussing what our plans were after we were done at Rito Village while walking through the still winter landscape when the wind suddenly picked up. Link had turned towards the direction of the wind, peering into the winter sky when he saw the approaching storm. He had let out a small gasp and then quickly walked over to me, tucked my own hylian hood into my snowquill jacket and tightened the hood around my face. Then he pulled out a cold resistance elixir and instructed me to drink it right before the blizzard hit us. I nodded and we ran towards the mountains, hoping the peaks would provide protection from the wind.

The blizzard hit us earlier than we had originally thought it would. But I followed Link’s instructions and swallowed the elixir right before we were engulfed in the storm, making sure Link did the same. I wasn’t sure how long we had been trudging through the snow, but it was definitely a few hours. Link had stopped twice to hand me another elixir to drink, but besides that we had been trudging on trying to outrun the storm.

Suddenly I bumped into Link’s back, not realizing he had stopped. He reached his left arm back to steady me, but didn’t say anything. I stayed silent as well, watching Link as he turned his head slowly from left to right. He kept his eyes on something in the distance, but I couldn’t see through the snowflakes whipping around. Subconsciously I leaned into his touch, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine. Link didn’t seem to notice as he studied the landscape, staying silent.

Shaking his head, he turned around to face me while keeping his movements slow and deliberate. He then reached out his gloved hand. “Sheikah Slate.” he yelled. Even though he was right next to me, I could hardly hear him over the wind. I nodded and grabbed the sheikah slate from my hip and pressed it into his hand.

I huddled closer to him as he opened up the map to check our location. We had been on the north side of the Kopeeki Drifts when the storm began. Now the sheikah slate showed our location to be just north of the Hebra Headspring, in the valley between Hebra and Talonto Peaks.

I sighed as I realized we hadn’t made it far at all. The snow and wind were disorientating and hard to traverse through. I felt my frustration grow more as the thought occurred to me that I was definitely slowing us down. The weather was slowing Link down as well, but I knew he could go faster than the pace we had been at. I however was struggling to keep up.

“I’m sorry, Zelda. I should have made us turn around when the storm came in. I did not believe the blizzard would last this long.” He said, closing his eyes in frustration.

“It’s okay, Link.” I said, resting a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes when he felt my hand and stared at it for a few moments. “I can keep going. Are we getting close to a safe place?” I asked, redirecting his energy to the task at hand. I preferred that he didn’t blame himself for our treacherous situation.

“There is a civilian who lives in these mountains. Her name is Selmie, she acts as a guide for travelers through here. She’s also rather competitive about shield surfing.” He smirked. “But she has a cabin north of this valley. She...there’s a shrine right outside of her cabin. You should use the Sheikah Slate to fast travel there.” He turned his face toward mine, his blue eyes squinting from the wind.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I knew it was the smart decision, I could fast travel to the shrine and Link could run ahead to meet me there. It would only take him half a day on a normal day. As I pondered the suggestion, I raised my eyes to the skies above us. The valley blocked a lot of the wind, but it was still roaring strong and angrily in our faces. If we kept going we would have to climb to higher ground eventually, where the wind and snow would be harder to travel through. If I traveled to Selmie’s, Link would be left alone in this storm. As the thought crossed my mind, I felt my heart pound and my breath catch in my throat. No, I would not leave him again.

“No, Link. I’m not leaving you alone in this storm. We will get through this together. Look, we aren’t even that far.” I responded, pointing to the peak with “Selmie’s Spot” on the map.

Link stared back at me, his jaw moving as he thought about what to do. “Over 100 years, and you’re still as stubborn as before.” He muttered, his tone slightly annoyed. But the edges of his mouth curved slightly into a smile that he tried to hide. “After these cliffs, there’s a hollow up ahead that we will have to glide over, are you okay with that?” He turned his head to the side.

The smile that had appeared on my face when he called me stubborn disappeared as he mentioned gliding. There was nothing I despised more than gliding as the last time we had tried it flashed through my mind, but I knew Link would not have mentioned it if there was another way. At this point I would do anything to get out of this storm, so I nodded yes to Link even though my stomach lurched at the idea of being airborne.

“Onward, then.” He said, while nodding his head north. He handed the sheikah slate back to me and turned around to start walking again. His footsteps were a little faster this time, but still as careful as before. However, this time he kept his left arm reaching backward towards me. Each time my leg would tap his arm he took it as a sign to keep walking. A light blush fell across my face as I realized he was making sure I was still keeping up with him, afraid to lose me in this snow.

As we walked, my mind wandered back to Link’s comment about me being stubborn. I sucked in a breath when I realized that he didn’t fight me more on fast traveling, which was not like him at all. It could only have been because this storm scared Link, but he wasn’t going to say it outright. He didn’t want to be left behind.

Soon we ran into the end of the valley, the side of the mountain towering over us. Link started following the mountainside west and we eventually came across some boulders that had fallen from the overhang. They provided an easier way to climb out of the valley instead of scaling the entire cliffside. I was silently relieved, knowing that I wouldn’t have been able to climb up the sheer cliff. While the shelves the boulders made were almost twice as tall as me, they were covered in indents and roots that would make it easier to climb.

Link went first, jumping up the first one with ease and barely a grunt of effort. He used the force of his leap to propel himself over the shelf. Once at the top he turned around and motioned for me to follow him, with a mischievous smirk on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing what that face was about. Link had always been competitive for as long as I had known him. And his 100 year sleep definitely had not changed that.

Deciding to play along, I took a step back and took a running leap, aiming for the top of the first boulder. I landed with two-thirds of my body over the ledge, but I quickly found an indent in the rock below to push myself over the rest of the way. I scrambled to stand up, brushing the snow off. Knowing I probably looked clumsy in comparison to Link’s agile ascent, but couldn’t help feeling proud of myself for making it without any help.

I turned to look at Link, and saw a smile of approval on his face. My heart soared, that smile had been so rare before everything happened. But it was so prevalent now, that I often forgot about the treacherous life we led. And even though we were also in danger in the middle of this blizzard, I was enjoying this trip together.

Shooting me one last glimpse of his smile, Link turned around and crawled up the second cliff. This one was the same height as the last one, but had more tree roots poking through the ground. While Link used the same strategy of using the momentum of his leap to launch him up the next cliff, I decided to take advantage of the extra foot and hand holds. Not waiting for Link to finish his climb, I grabbed on to the nearest root and began pulling myself up. The bitter cold ate through my gloves and my hands stung, but adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I felt free in the way I only felt when adventuring out with Link. Out here I wasn’t the fabled Princess with the Golden Power, here I was just a girl trying to win a race.

When I got to the top, Link was peering down the other side of the cliff, his head turning back and forth looking for me. It seemed he hadn’t seen me change course heading in the other direction.

“What are you looking for?” I called out to him, putting my best smirk on.

He spun around, his eyes wide before squinting as he focused in on me.

“Oh, we’re being tricky now? You’re lucky I still don’t have Revali’s Gale. You would never catch up with me then.” He walked toward me until he stood right in front of me. I had to look up at him now to be able to see his eyes, blue as ever. When I first met him, he had been a few inches shorter than me. 100 years later, when we walked away from the castle after sealing away Ganon, I had noticed that he had grown to be the same height as me. But now over the past couple of months, he had continued to grow to be a full head taller than me.

“You wouldn’t leave me.” I said, my voice wavering as I suddenly felt nervous.

Link stared back at me, his eyes searching my face for something. He was always checking on me, always looking for something to be wrong so he could fix it.

“No, Zelda. I would never.” His voice was soft, and I barely heard it over the roar of the wind. He turned to look at the last cliff and leaned down so that his face was hovering over my ear, which was still covered by my hood.

“Do you think you can make it up the last one by yourself?” He teased, he was so close I could feel the edge of his mouth curve upward as he spoke.

Without even looking back at him, I took off towards the cliff. I heard him laugh as I did so, and I was glad once again for my hood as it hid the crazy grin I had. My eyes searched for places in the cliff that I could use for support. This one was taller, probably three times my height. But that wasn’t the issue, the problem with this one was that there were fewer roots and indents to grab onto. My mind worked to pick out the best place to start my climb. I went off to the right where there was a good root to step up on and let the adrenaline and pure joy I felt take me the rest of the way.

I heard more than saw Link scramble past me, which was fine. I wasn’t expecting to beat him, but I wanted to be a close second. Almost at the top, I saw Link peer over the edge again, his eyebrows raised in a “I won” sort of expression. I wrinkled my nose back up at him, but focused on climbing the rest of the way. My legs were resting on small indents in the cliff, and my left hand was hanging onto a tree root. Just out of reach of my right hand was a handhold that would get me the rest of the way up. I bent my legs slightly, readying them to make the little jump to reach the handhold. I took a deep breath and pushed, kicking my legs as hard as I could while reaching my hand out towards the handhold.

My heart stopped when I saw my hand barely miss the hold and I started falling back down and I let out a scream. Instinct kicked in and my left hand grabbed the root it had been holding earlier, but that was the only thing that kept me from falling all the way back down the valley.

I hit the side of the cliff with a thud and had the wind knocked out of me. I grabbed the root with my right hand as well and dared not to move, the tiny tendril of root being my only life line. My arms were shaking and my side began to hurt where it collided with the cliff. But I was okay, and I felt tears escape my eyes as I leaned my forehead against the side of the cliff. Trying to regain my strength and my breath, it took me a moment to realize Link was calling my name.

“Zelda! Damnit, Zelda answer me!” He yelled, his voice almost a growl.

“I’m okay.” I tried to yell back, but it was a weak reply with my breath still gone. I heard Link answer with a sigh of relief and then heard the sound of him pacing back and forth on the cliff above me. I looked up, I was just out of view from him because of the snow fall. He couldn’t reach me yet from where I was and I knew he was frustrated with not being able to help me.

After another minute I felt that I could breathe normally again and I knew I needed to start going soon before my limbs gave out. Climbing up, I kept telling myself that I was almost to the top. Soon I could make Link’s outline against the sky.

“Zelda!” He said while falling to his knees and stretching his arm out as far as he could. I reached my right arm out, pushing myself up with my left arm that was wrapped around a tree root. My gloves skimmed the fingertips of his when the root I was resting on gave out. I screamed as I began falling again and closed my eyes, this time too exhausted for any instincts to kick in.

But then I stopped falling. I opened my eyes and saw Link’s hand wrapped around my wrist, gripping it in a painfully tight grasp. As soon as I realized Link had me, the small part of my brain still working told my feet to find a foothold to relieve some of my weight off of Link. My readjustment gave Link the opportunity to secure his footing and he began pulling me up.

My head was clouded from the shock of almost falling twice and my limbs felt numb. All I could do was not move so he wouldn't lose his balance. As he finally pulled me over the edge, I felt my muscles spring back to life and push forward away from the cliff. Link also pushed us away from the cliff as I landed in his arms. He kept retreating until his back was against the mountain, far away from the cliffside.

My whole body felt numb, except for the warmth coming off his body. I closed my eyes and buried my face into his shoulder. I stayed like that for a while, just focusing on the feeling of his arms around me. It took me a moment to realize I was sobbing and shaking with every gasp of air. Link was rubbing my back and repeating “I’m sorry” and “You’re okay now”. I tightened my hold on him and just focused on the sound of his voice rumbling in my ear.

After a while I started to feel myself calm down. Then the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and anger at myself started to wash over me. We had been having fun before I went and ruined it. Link was always doing so much for me, how did he not get tired of saving me every five minutes? The Great Princess Zelda, savior of Hyrule and sealer of Ganon, almost dies climbing a measly cliff!

The thought caused me to laugh out loud. It’s a messy laugh, layered with my tears and snot. But as I laugh, I felt Link relax a little bit under me. He moved one hand to the side of my face and gently pulls my head up so that we face each other. He wiped a tear away and brushed a couple of stray hairs out of my face. Then Link raised one of his eyebrows in a question, wanting to know what caused me to laugh. I shake my head at him, indicating I wasn’t ready to talk yet.

He gave me a little nod, and I felt a small bubble of happiness in my chest as we fall into our old habit, talking to each other without speaking. It was something we had perfected a long time ago. But I had been afraid it would change after 100 years. My soul jumped with glee to see that it hadn’t.

“Maybe I should have teleported to Selmie’s, it would have saved quite a bit of trouble for you.” I finally said, looking down out of embarrassment. Link grunted in disapproval, but before he could respond I continued. “I was slowing us down before and now I’ve nearly gotten both of us killed. And it’s my fault that-”

Link cut me off. “Zelda, for Goddesses sake. At least let me have a moment to celebrate the fact that you’re alive instead of being unconscious at the bottom of the cliff before starting an argument with me.” He scoffed, but his tone was still soft.

My breath caught in my throat again as he placed his forehead against mine, eyes closed. Both of his arms are wrapped around my waist again, holding me against him. He was right, there was no point in arguing now.

The wind howled around us as we sat there. The loose part of my hood was flapping around threatening to take off any second. For a second I let myself believe that if I didn’t hold on tight enough to Link, I would be blown away with it into the storm.

“Let’s try to get out of this cold.” Link finally whispered into my cheek. I nodded and untangled myself from him, feeling the loss of warmth from him instantly.

Link stood up as well and brushed the snow off his legs. He gave me a quick look, making sure I was ready to go. I tightened my hood around my face and gave him another nod. Link stared at me a little longer, then decided to grab my hand and started leading the way north.

I kept my grip on his hand tight and he did the same, feeling another wave of blush make its way across my face. Soon, our path led us to a pretty large covered tunnel. It looked like something had carved through the mountain and went all the way through. The way the tunnel was angled, the inside was completely safe from the wind. We stepped inside the entrance, the fading light from outside still enough to see the whole thing.

Link let go of my hand and motioned for me to stay. Then he crept further into the tunnel, checking everywhere for any danger. There was a stray ice keese that screeched before he shot it down with his bow, but other than that the tunnel was empty.

“It’s not perfect, but it will protect us for the night. Are you okay with us staying here? You need to rest.” Link said, slinging his bow over his shoulder as he walked back.

I wanted to tell him I could keep going, that I was fine and if we hurried we could make it to Selmie’s before the sun set completely. But it would have been a lie, I was exhausted. My bones and muscles ached, and I was worried about the loss of feeling in my toes. And I was shaking, but I was not certain if it was from the cold or from my almost fall.

“Yes. That will be good.” I sighed, feeling my eyes start to feel heavy with sleep.

Link started pulling supplies out of his pack. He had told me a couple of weeks ago that a korok had enchanted it to hold more things than should have been possible. It had definitely made it easier to trek through the snow without a huge pack to carry.

Soon Link had set up a makeshift lean-to and laid a bed roll down under it. I narrowed my eyes at the one bed roll, realizing he wasn’t planning on sleeping. I walked over to where he was smoothing a blanket out.

“You need to sleep too.” I squatted by him, putting my hand lightly on his arm. He turned to look at me, his jaw clenching as he thought it over. It was then I saw his eyelids were drooping, he was tired. Eventually he pulled another bed roll out and more blankets. But he set this one up against the wall of the tunnel at the entrance of the lean-to he made.

He then motioned for me to sit on my bed roll. I sat down on the soft fur blanket, wanting to instantly sink all the way into it and sleep forever. But before I could follow through on that thought, Link handed me a paper wrapped parcel. My mouth started instantly watering as I smelled the food through the paper. Oh Goddesses, I had forgotten about food entirely. I preferred the hot and fresh meals Link usually made, but I knew that was not an option given our current situation. Still, the cold mushroom rice ball tasted like heaven and it took everything in me not to eat all in one bite.

I watched as Link slid into the lean-to and sat on his bed roll. He wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and leaned against the wall of the tunnel. Then he pulled out a matching package to the one he handed me and started eating his rice ball. He took big deliberate bites and was finished within seconds. I laughed as I watched him, his eating habits were always interesting to watch.

He stopped when he realized I was laughing at him. But then he grinned as he wiped his mouth. “I thought I told you that you can’t judge me for how I eat anymore.”

“Old habits die hard, I suppose.” I shrugged, running my still gloved hand over the blanket under me.

Link rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else. He leaned back against the wall again and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing them at his ankles. Then he cleared his throat and crossed his arms. This is what I considered to be his “sleeping but still on guard” position. I watched as he stared out the tunnel, listening and watching for any danger. While I appreciated it, I was pretty sure we were the only ones in the mountains right now.

I felt my exhaustion fill my limbs again and decided to lay down to settle in for the night. Laying down, my legs were sticking slightly out of the other side of the lean-to, and my head was about an arm’s length or two from where Link sat. Between the snowquill outfit I still wore and the blankets, I was completely warm. Feeling had started to return to my toes and fingers. Sleep threatened to take over, but I fought it a little longer. The tunnel was now dark as night time fell outside. I could still see Link’s outline in the dark, but everything else was lost in the night.

“Link?” I whispered. I felt him twitch a little bit when I spoke, he must have almost been dozing off himself.

“Sorry, I just wanted to say thank you. For, um well, everything.” I whispered again, feeling bad I had woken him up.

“Of course, Princess. Sleep well.” He responded. Then I felt him reach down and give my hand a little squeeze. It was a quick movement, so quick that it almost felt like I imagined it. And if it had not been for the newly returned feeling in my hands, I would have assumed that I had imagined it. I let my face break into a huge grin, before I finally let sleep takeover.

The next morning I woke up in the same way I fell asleep in. My bones and muscles ached from the day before and from sleeping in one position all night. Getting myself to want to wake up was proving to be difficult, my bed roll was so warm and my eyes were still heavy with sleep. But I forced myself to try to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I looked up and saw that Link was still sleeping, his head tilted to the side to lay on his shoulder. His arms were still crossed at his chest and his legs still crossed at the ankles.

Some of his blonde hair had fallen to lay across his face and more of it had fallen out of his hair band to lay on his shoulders. I bit my lip and resisted the urge to move the hair out of his face. He really was quite a beautiful man. His quiet demeanor and determination often hardened his features when he was awake. But now that he was asleep, his face looked young and innocent. He looked like the 19 year old he was. Or I guess 119 year old?

My heart ached for him. Before the calamity he had been so troubled. But back then he still had his memories of his childhood, of his family and his home. Now, those memories were fuzzy in his mind at best, if they were even there at all. I still wasn’t sure how much he actually remembered. How much of us did he remember?

I had been trying not to think about the time before Ganon. The darkest day of my life was not one I wished to revisit. However, I know eventually I will have to. There is no moving on without coming face to face with what happened. I felt the familiar panic rise in my chest as the events from the day flickered through my mind. Tears threatened to run down my face as my hands began to shake.

I can see my life before Ganon’s return. At the time I thought I was miserable being stuck in the castle destined to wield a power I had no idea how to harness. However, the brightest memories from back then are the ones I remember the most. The ones with Link. The ones where we traveled Hyrule alone, roaming the countryside in between our errands. I knew he cared for me back then, but I always wondered if it had been more for him too. Back then we had so much weight on our shoulders, there was no room to even entertain the idea of something more between Link and I. And now, so much has changed since then. Did he even remember, remember more than just his duty?

And here I sit in a tunnel with him after all this time, still wondering about my silent knight. Still roaming the country with him, a question on my lips. Oh goddess, is that what I was doing? Trying to recreate our life from back then by suggesting we explore the mountains?

And I felt it here too in the mountains. This “thing” between us. I wanted to examine it, ask Link the questions that haunted me while I sat in the castle for 100 years. I wanted to know that I wasn’t crazy. That it wasn’t just me.

But courage was not my strength, that was his. Mine was wisdom, and my brain told me to be a smart girl and not ruin things. We were both still healing from everything. While our friends and family had fallen 100 years, it was still fresh for us both. And while we eventually came out successful, our initial failures were wounds that would not heal for a long time. So how could I add one more thing into the mixture? Confess my feelings and scare off the one person left from my old life? I couldn’t lose him, not again. So bite my tongue, I will.

After fighting with my inner monologue and panic , I was wide awake. After another moment of trying to slow down my breathing I decided to get up. I slowly sat up, trying to be as quiet as possible. But Link, always on watch even when sleeping, woke up anyway. He looked around, wide-eyed at first as he tried to remember where he was. Then I saw his eyes relax as he recalled where we were. He glanced over at me and gave a sleepy smile.

“Well, good morning sleepy head.” He yawned, stretching his arms over his head.

The image of him yawning sleepily while rubbing his eyes awake and then stretching his arms out in a yawn was too much. The little warm butterflies in my stomach returned as I watched him.

“I beg your pardon Sir Knight, but I was up first.” I corrected him.

He smiled again as he stretched out his legs, and gave me an eye roll, as if to say “sure,”. Then he reached into his pack and pulled out a water pouch, then held it out to me. I stared at it for a second, once again reminded that this man did everything for me. I wasn’t even thinking of water and hadn’t realized how thirsty I was.

“Thank you.” I said before taking a couple of sips.

Truthfully I wanted to gulp it down and refill it to drink it all again. But that wasn’t very lady like and I wasn’t sure how much water Link had packed. As if on cue, Link pulled out another water pouch and drank from it, taking large gulps until it was empty. He gave me another look, as if to dare me to say something again about his etiquette. Instead I took another sip from my pouch while obviously forcing my eyes to look somewhere else, pretending I didn’t see. But I couldn’t keep a straight face and let out a little snort, which caused me to spill some of my water.

My face red with embarrassment I looked over at Link to see if he noticed and knew that he had. But he was beaming at me, his face filled with a wide grin. He shook his head slightly while he laughed, his voice filling the tunnel.

“That is what you get for making fun of me.” He choked out while laughing.

“I was trying not to!” I told him, with a fake pout on my face. But I couldn’t hide my smile entirely.

He made a “tsk” sound with his teeth and went to hand me another parcel of food. “I’m not really sure you deserve this after being so mean.” And for emphasis, he pulled the package back when I went to reach for it.

I raised an eyebrow at him and tried to give a menacing stare back. While it didn’t work, he handed me the parcel anyway. Unfolding the paper, I opened it to find a mix of fruit, nuts, and bread. I popped one of the berries in my mouth and bit it, humming as the sweet taste trickled over my tongue. Fruit was one of my favorite treats ever and I was delighted at having the treat for breakfast.

However, guilt began to eat away at my stomach again. When did Link have time to do all this? I don’t remember seeing him pack this much before we left, especially considering this was a last minute detour. Over and over I had been telling him thank you, but it just never felt like enough. I wanted to do something for him, I just didn’t know what.

“Link?” I asked, uncertain of what I was planning on saying. He looked up from where he was about to dig into his own parcel, his eyebrows raising at my voice. “I’ve been thinking. I want to start helping out with cooking our food and other preparations for our trips. You do everything and… I don’t know how to do anything useful.”

The corner of Link’s mouth curved up a little bit. “I don’t know if having you cook is the best idea. My memory might not be all there, but I do recall a time when you tried to feed me a whole frog.”

“That was for a study! And I’m serious, Link. You do everything for me and all I can do is say thank you, but that’s not enough!” I replied, dropping the smile on my face.

Link looked down at his meal parcel, fidgeting with the edge of the paper. I could almost read the expression on his face, he much rather be scarfing down the food than talking about this.

“You have done plenty.” He finally said. “You were in a century long battle with our land’s greatest enemy. You saved all of Hyrule and restored hope to your people. Is that not enough? After all that, surely you deserve to be taken care of. Is that not my job?”

“The same thing could be said of you, Link. You also saved Hyrule. Do you not deserve to rest? And your job was to protect me and help me seal Ganon. You have accomplished that. Now you are my friend, not my caregiver.” I said shortly. “Come on. Please? We can start with something simple, like cooking lessons!” I said lighter this time, my goal was not to start a fight.

He studied the ground for a long time, his jaw shifting as he mulled over what I said. It was a habit he did often, along with grinding his teeth when he was in thought. The silence lasted longer than I wanted. The conversation had gone deeper than I had meant it to. Since our successful battle with the calamity, we hadn’t really talked about any of it. This was as close we had gotten. It was a subject we couldn’t bear to talk about without unraveling everything. The panic began to seep through my chest again, my breath catching in my throat as I fought it back down. I felt myself bite my lip harder as each quiet second passed.

“Fine. When we get out of these mountains, I will try to teach you how to cook. I trust you are still a quick study?” He finally lifted his eyes to look at me, those blue pools twinkling.

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course! Thank you, Link. You will not regret it!” I squealed, surprised I had convinced him.

“But, just so we are on the same page. I am still your knight, my job is still to protect you. Even if I am also your friend.” His face went back to being stern, the almost blank face that was his signature look.

I rolled my eyes at him, always so serious about his duty as my appointed knight. I opened my mouth to respond but Link was already pouring his food from his parcel directly into his mouth. I decided to drop whatever I was going to say and finish my food as well.

Later that morning we had packed everything away and bundled back up. Walking out of the tunnel I was relieved to see that the blizzard had ended its rage on the mountains. The morning was quite beautiful, a light snow was falling across the landscape. Everything was quiet and still except for the small scuttling of the winter wildlife that were hidden from our site. It was a rather drastic change from the weather we faced last night.

We began walking up the steep slope that led north out of the tunnel. The incline was a little slippery and every once in a while I would slide backwards, but every time Link moved to help me back up I would find my footing again. I was determined not to need him to help me every step of the way. It was nothing against Link, hoping he knew that. But the feeling that I was a burden on these trips had been eating away at me lately. Surely I could walk in the snow on my own?

Eventually the slope leveled out into a clearing at the edge of a cliff. The view was even more breathtaking from up here. Morning light filtered by the clouds and the snow pooled into the mountains, turning everything an icy white. The snow twinkled in the light, Good Morning it almost seemed to say. The gray spires of the mountains jutted into the sky, frosted with the falling snow. Cedar and pine trees poked out of the rocky ground, staking their claim on the rough terrain. The overhang we were on was surprisingly lush, patches of grass and herbs grew among the snow covered bushes.

I looked over at Link, his hood was down as he also took in the landscape. His cheeks were rosy from the cold, his hair still a bit messy, but his eyes were wide in awe. And I suddenly knew why these mountains were his favorite. They were like him. They were quiet and serene, still but with so much life. Hidden away from most except for those who went looking. Fierce when they needed to be. And beautiful. Insanely beautiful. They were like Link.

“This is ... gorgeous.” I gasped.

“It is.” Link smiled, not taking his eyes off the landscape.

“The start of the trip might have been rough, but this was worth it.” I whispered into the frosty air.

Link turned around then, relief falling over his face. “I’m glad you think that. This trip did not really go how I wanted it to and I was worried you weren’t enjoying it.”

I wanted to ask him how he wanted the trip to go, what he meant by that. To poke at the thing that lingered in the air sometimes. But I didn’t. “So what? I nearly fell off a cliff twice. Not a big deal, actually. Especially when your own appointed knight is there to save you.”

“Well, hopefully that means you’re okay with gliding over these cliffs. The blizzard is gone but we are so close to Selmie’s, we might as well stop by.” Link concurred.

“Let’s do it.” I tried to put on my most convincing smile, but it came out as more of a grimace.

Link chuckled and pulled out his paraglider, then reached out for my hand. I took it and let him pull me closer until I was standing beside him. My right side against his left side, our arms fell to each other’s waists. The configurement we had to create to be able to paraglide with two people was a little complicated. I tried to focus on remembering what to do and not be distracted by his hip against mine or his arms around my waist. I double checked that the sheikah slate was secure and then grabbed on to my side of the paraglider.

Side by side, we walked closer to the cliff edge. Instantly my mind thought about yesterday and almost falling down the mountain. But I shook the thought from my mind and concentrated on keeping my form while gliding. I started going through the checklist Link had gone through with me last time. Keep your hold on the handle, do not let go. Keep your grip on each other, lean your body weight towards the middle to help. Keep most of your weight in your legs. Deep breaths and calm thoughts.

“Remember, pull down on the glider to steer it one way or the other. I might need your help if the wind picks up.” Link said, and then gave me a look to see if I was ready.

I nodded and before I could change my mind I started running with him towards the edge of the cliff. We jumped off and I felt my stomach fall as my feet left the ground. I kept a tight grip on my handle and my right arm was wrapped around Link’s hip, leaning towards him as much as I could without off-balancing the glider.

And then we were gliding! I let out a squeal, unsure if it was out of excitement or joy. I leaned my face into Link’s shoulder to hide it from the wind, but peaked at the landscape from a squinted eye. The air carried us up over the hollow below and Link steered us to the next overhang. The view up here was amazing too, endless mountains and snow was all I could see.

We were in the air for maybe 30 seconds before we started to descend and land on the next cliff. Landing was my least favorite part, but this time I knew what to expect. Our feet hitting the ground with a thud, we actually did great. My legs gave out the second I hit the ground and I took Link down with me.

I laughed as I felt us hit the snow, rolling a few times. The rolling caused me to be slightly disoriented, but once I could see again I realized how fun that had been. The first time we tried gliding together it had been for a longer stretch and I had been too nervous to enjoy it. However a quick glide like proved to be enjoyable.

Link and I were laying on our backs in the snow, the paraglider in Link’s right hand. He was looking over at me, checking to see if I was okay. I smiled back while laughing, the adrenaline once again pumping through my veins. He laughed too after he realized I was fine. I stared up at the sky, watching the snowflakes flutter down to the ground. I couldn’t get over how absolutely stunning it was here.

I turned back to Link who was still watching me. His left arm was under my back, still around my waist and I felt the warmth of his body. We laid side by side in the snow, our breath creating a smoke like haze above us. It was so calm, so peaceful. I couldn’t help but think I wanted to stay in this moment forever.

I opened my mouth to say something, but then I saw the snowflakes getting caught in Link’s eyelashes. I realized I was rather close to his face, closer than I should have been. Not willing to risk the kind of thoughts I would have if I stayed laying down, I cleared my throat and sat up.

“Well that wasn’t too bad. Actually, it was kind of fun. “ I said while Link also sat up.

“Good, because we have one more area to glide over before we get to Selmie’s.” Link replied. He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck while looking at the ground. Then closed his eyes for a moment. As soon as I was about to ask if something was wrong, he opened them again. Then he smiled and held out a gloved hand to help me up.

Once we were both up we again got into position and took off over the cliff. I laughed in delight again as we flew through the air. It was so freeing to be flying in the mountains! I imagined I was one of the dragon spirits, gliding through Hyrule. Watching over it as I made my rounds across the land. I heard Link laugh beside me, his laugh shaking his body and echoing across the cliffs. Closing my eyes, I let the sound of his laugh take me somewhere else. Somewhere where we didn’t have the pressures of our destinies on us. Somewhere where we could be as free as we were right now, forever.

But our flight came to an end too soon, and we landed with a thud again. This time I managed not to take Link down with me and I only fell to my knees. The fleeting feeling of that moment knocked the wind out of me more than our landing did. I stood up and turned around, taking in the scenery again. The memory of Link’s laugh earlier still ringing in my ears. I realized that I had heard him laugh more on this trip more than I had ever before.

“Are you okay?” Link’s voice cut through my thoughts.

I turned to him, not hearing what he said at first. My eyes were drawn to the concerned look on his face, the slight tip of his head to the side in a question. The blue in his eyes contrasting against the white snow behind him, begging for all of my attention.

“Oh, yes. I was just looking at the view again.” I said, realizing my words had a hidden meaning. I blushed, hoping it would look like cold turned my face red.

Link gave a small nod in agreement and folded up the paraglider. We both started walking up the slope that cut through the edge of the mountain, heading towards a small tendril of smoke cutting through the air in the distance. It must be Selmie’s cabin, and it looked close! I started to get giddy at the idea of warming up inside and resting for a bit.

Suddenly Link stopped and stared up at something on the cliffside above us. Then his face broke into a grin, his eyes twinkling with an idea.

“Wait here.” He said. Before I could ask what he was doing, he started climbing up the cliff.

I watched as he climbed up, wondering what in the name of Hylia he was doing. He seemed to find footholes and places to hold on that didn’t exist. I remembered watching him from the castle, as he roamed around Hyrule after waking up. Everytime he would decide to climb a mountain or a building, I wanted to yell at him for being so reckless. But his ability to climb was really unlike anything I had ever seen.

I heard him say something from above, it sounded like a yell of triumph but the words didn’t reach me as he was too high up. He started to make his way down, only using one hand with something in his hand. Was he showing off now? As soon as I thought about calling him out on it, a gust of wind swept through the hollow. I felt myself stumble as the wind pushed past me.

Then I heard Link gasp and I looked up in time to see him lose his balance as the wind pushed against him. His hand reached out for a place to grib, but it missed. The next few moments happened so fast that when Link’s body hit the ground I wasn’t sure what happened at first. Then my brain caught up. I flinched as I remembered seeing him fall, his shoulder hitting the mountain, then his back hit a rock, his side making contact next. Each time sounded painful, did I hear something snap? Did I see him hit his head?

Next thing I knew I was kneeling on the ground next to him, pulling him into my lap. My heart started pounding and my hands were shaking as this felt all too familiar. I couldn’t breathe, my lungs suddenly losing the ability to function. I stared at him, frozen as I relived the last time I held him while he was unconscious.

I heard them. The mechanical grinding of the guardians. The sound of their blasts as they destroyed my kingdom. The sound of the one that had aimed itself at Link. Myself yelling “No!” as I pushed Link out of the way. The sound of his body hitting the ground that time, as he lost the battle to stay awake. The look on his face as the life left his body, the sorrow he felt as he knew his fight was over. Then the cough he let out as the light in his eyes faded, closing them for what I had thought was the last time.

I saw it all again. The worst moment of my life, helpless as Link died in my arms.

I shook my head, pushing it all away. I wasn’t helpless this time. Focus, Zelda! You have to do something!

My hands shook as I began looking Link over. I silently sent a prayer of thankfulness back to my old tutors, glad they had made me study anatomy. His eyes were closed, completely still. I put my fingers to his neck, and was relieved to feel his pulse. Good, that’s good. I told myself. He had a gash on his forehead, which was bleeding moderately. I could bandage that up though.

I gasped though as I saw the state of his right shoulder. I could see the bulge of bone through his clothes. My fingers trembling, I undid the ties on his armor to look at it. Luckily, the bone hadn’t pushed through his skin. His shoulder was just dislocated. That could be fixed. Then I moved down to his ribs, and pressed against his sides. Link let out a yelp in response.

I sighed as I knew his ribs were at least bruised, if not broken. Those can heal though, I said to myself. I tied up his rito armor again and set Link carefully back on the ground. I quickly checked his legs and feet, but they appeared to be fine. He would probably have some bruises, but nothing serious.

It was not until after checking his legs that I noticed what he had in his left hand. I gasped, as I stared at the silent princess still gripped in his fist. Link! You idiot! I wanted to yell at him. All of that for a flower, a stupid flower. My favorite flower . What was it doing up here? They didn’t usually grow well in colder climates.

I bit my lip and I pulled it out of his hand. He had gotten it for me. He had fallen down the cliff and gotten hurt for me. I twirled the flower in my fingers, feeling the rubbery stem prick at my skin. I pulled the paper parcel from my breakfast this morning out of my pocket and wrapped the flower in it. Part of me wanted to curse at it, stomp it into the ground with my boots. Yell at it for making Link climb up and retrieve it.

But I wrapped it up instead because he had wanted me to have it. The flower didn't deserve the anger I felt toward it. I looked back at Link, looking him over once again. I was pretty confident I could reset his shoulder and bandage the wound on his forehead. However, I needed to get him out of the cold first. Turning my face toward the skyline, I saw the smoke from what I assumed was Selmie’s cabin. It couldn’t be that far. Working quickly, I pulled one of the sturdier blankets out from Link’s pack and spread out beside him. Then as gently as I could, I pulled Link over so that he laid on top of it.

Then I began pulling him up the slope, going slow enough not to jostle him around too much but still going quickly to get him inside as soon as possible. I felt tears falling down my cheeks as I pulled my knight up the mountain, but I ignored them. I ignored the panic rising in my chest and focused on the determination I felt instead. I would not fail him!

Soon I saw the roof of Selmie’s cabin peak out from the horizon, and the sight brought new energy to my aching muscles. The last stretch seemed to take hours to cross, although it could have been no more than ten minutes. Finally we reached the door of the cabin and I saw a note on the door fluttering in the wind. I squinted my eyes as I leaned in to read it.

Gone for a couple of days, feel free to warm up inside! -Selmie

Selmie wasn’t here. Which was probably a good thing, I didn’t want anyone else to see me in my near hysterical state. But it would have been nice for someone else to be here, to tell me I was doing the right thing and that it would be okay.

I pushed the door open slowly, checking to see if any other travelers had stopped by. The cabin was empty, the only movement was the remnants of a fire in the hearth. I grabbed the blanket and pulled Link inside. I pulled out another blanket from his pack and laid it in front of the fire. Then I pulled Link over so he laid on the new blanket. I walked back outside and shook the blanket out that I had dragged him through the snow on, dislodging the snow that had collected in it.

Walking back into the cabin, I checked on Link again. He was still breathing, still had a pulse. On the trek here he had been mostly silent, whimpering in pain every so often. But now he was silent as he slept in front of the fire. I draped the blanket over some wooden barrels that were by the wall next to the fire. Then I turned back to Link and rummaged through his pack. I knew he kept extra fabric to wrap around his wrists under his bracer. I quickly found the strips of fabric and also pulled out a water pouch. Then I found his stash of herbs and plants, and pulled the whole collection out.

He didn’t have as much as I thought he would, which was unlike him. Then I remembered the elixirs he gave me at the beginning of the trip. I fumbled around, feeling for the tiny glass jars until I found them. There were ten of them, I wasn’t sure what they all were. But there was one that had a familiar pink glow to it. He had a fairy elixir! That would be good, if things took a turn for the worse.

After taking stock of the supplies I had, I discovered that I had most of the items to make a pain relief elixir and a healing ointment for his forehead. I would have to go out and search for the remaining supplies, but that was a problem for later.

I decided the first course of action was to take care of his shoulder. Luckily, I remembered how to set a dislocated shoulder from my studies 100 years ago. I kneeled by Link’s right side and undid his armor again. As carefully as I could, I slipped his right arm out of its sleeve. Link only gave a short grunt of pain as I did so.

“Link, if you can hear me just know this is going to hurt for a bit. But I have to set your shoulder back.” I whispered to him, looking for any sign of acknowledgment that he had heard me. He gave no response back of course.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed his right arm in both of my hands. I lifted it so it was raised forward and straight out from his body. I stood up so I could use my height as an advantage. I put one hand on his shoulder and my other hand clasped around his arm, and pulled. Thankfully I felt his shoulder joint pop back in place quickly and I stopped pulling as Link yelled out in pain.

I grimaced at the sound as I rubbed my hand over his shoulder, pressing against the joint. Everything felt in place, no longer an odd bump where bone pushed at his skin. I thought about wrestling his arm into a sling, but decided against it.

Link’s face was contorted and he was breathing heavily. I scooted over to his head and ran my fingers through his hair while making shushing noises. He calmed down after a minute and his breathing returned to normal. I used the scraps of fabric to clean his wound and then wrapped a couple around his forehead to cover it.

There was nothing I could do for his ribs yet, but I knew Link would heal faster than normal hylians. The power of being the sword’s chosen one still coursed through his veins even if our duty was done. He still had exceptional strength, speed, and luckily, the ability to quickly heal. I frowned though as I knew he would still be in pain.

The fire besides us sputtered pathetically as it began to die out. We would need more wood and I needed to see if I could the remaining materials for the elixirs and ointment. I looked back at Link, unconscious on the floor besides me. He always took care of me and now I needed to take care of him. However, I began to worry that my limited knowledge of how to treat wounds wouldn’t be enough. What if his ribs were poking into his organs? What if his head injury was worse and I couldn’t tell? There could be so many other things that needed to be treated that I couldn’t possibly know.

As I walked out the door, I passed the note again on Selmie’s door. An idea began to form in my mind. Maybe there was a way to get Link out of here, but he wouldn’t like it.

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Everything around me is dark. I wander through the darkness, looking for a light source, but I don't see anything at all. Nor was there a forest on a moonless night; because then I would hear and feel cracking branches, lose leaves and the muffled sound of soft earth under my boots. It was no prison, no dungeon, no building and no shrine. After all, I would know the shrines the best because of the hundreds of trials I went through.

Nothing changes and I continue to wander through the light-dead space. But then I hear a soft voice, quiet and too far away. Desperate, she calls for my name, but I can't figure out where she comes from. I notice panic creeping into my face. But then I realize that I don't feel pain where pain should have been. After that life-threatening fall, I had felt a burning pain in my right shoulder. My ribs hurt like a muscle strain, but 100 times stronger. I still tried to get up to stop Zelda from crying continuously, but the pain in my shoulder and ribs prevented me from getting up. I could barely breathe and yet I tried to calm her down. That was the last thing I remember before I landed in this void. Was I dead? But why could I still hear her lovely voice? I gather all my courage and decide to find a way out of here by following the sound of her voice.

It took me all of my strength and courage to begin climbing out of this seemingly endless void. I feel my lungs filling and emptying weakly. I feel how my weak heartbeat strengthens the more I gain consciousness. My shoulder feels numb and my ribs aren't as strong as before. How is this possible? When I was finally conscious, but still very dazed, I notice a heavyweight on my chest above my heart. I turn my head to the right and left and notice that I am lying covered with coats on a hut floor, right next to an extinguished fireplace. My senses are returning and finally, I understand what this weight is on my chest is. It's Zelda’s head. Her hands rest right and left on my rib and shoulder. I lift my head and see her sleeping half lying on me. She has angled her slender legs and lies there, exposed to the merciless cold. It seems like, she had taken off her coat and covered me with it as she warmed herself with the flames of the fireplace. Carefully, I raise my head even higher to see her better and I immediately notice that she must have cried a lot; dry traces of her tears can still be seen on her cheek and nose. She must have been in despair. I feel a deep sadness wash over me, I wanted to give her joy with this trip but I ended up causing her pain.

Suddenly, she whispered my name in her sleep and snuggled into my Rito warrior top, which is spread out on my chest.

“Zelda.”, I whispered while brushing her hair out of her face.

She didn’t hear me. I guess she was in a deep sleep- But then, she slowly opened her eyes.

"Link?" Her voice sounds a bit raspy; my guess is that she has hardly eaten or drunk while I was unconscious.

"Zelda, your head's a little heavy." I say to provoke her.

Instead, she squeaks my name and her arms fall around my neck, giggling. All the strength I put into regaining consciousness was worth it, just to hear her lovely laugh once more. Exhaling loudly, I wrap my healthy arm around her shoulders and place one hand on her neck while pressing my head against hers.

Her floral scent reaches my nose and triggers a tingling in my chest. She jerks her head back while her eyes widen. " I am sorry...I-I did not want to invade your personal space…" she whispers. Her face is so close that I could almost touch her lips to mine, but I didn't want to allow my urges to take advantage of the opportunity and make her uncomfortable with my presence if she didn't want the same thing.

"It’s all right, you didn't invade it at all." She gives me a sweet smile while she stays above me for a while. I see her trying to absorb every detail of my face. But it was far too short. Her face wasn’t near mine long enough. And now I feel a deep remorse sitting in me for not kissing her. She moves away and starts to rummage in our back packs. “While you were unconscious, I dragged you with a carpet to Selmie’s hut and gathered all herbs and wood fire I could carry, to take care of you. It was hard to remember every recipe and every herb with their specialty but in the end, I managed to ease your pain a little bit and relocate your shoulder. I found the fairy elixir in your backpack and trickled some drops in your mouth while you were unconscious but apparently it does not heal every wound. I must note that for the next time.”

Wait. She did all that by herself? She must be so exhausted! And still, she thinks about my well-being instead of hers. But I really needed to know how she made me swallow the elixir while I was unconscious. “Thank you for looking out for me. It is my duty to protect you, but I failed and now you have to stay with me in the cold while you could have been in safety.”

“Link,” she gives me a soft look; “You died for me 100 years ago and protected my life many times now it is my turn to be there for you. That’s why I will put you back to sleep, to heal faster. ”

“NO, NO NO. I don’t want this. I don’t need this. Zelda, nooo!”

I try to fight her off with one arm but she just presses my arm down with her chest and her face hovers now over mine.

“Shall I demonstrate how I gave you the medicine while you were unconscious, dear Link?” she says while giving me a innocent look. I have a bad feeling about this.

“I won’t swallow it. As soon as I fall asleep, you will do something that I wouldn’t agree with! That’s why you want to knock me out.”

But still she plays innocent. She looks to the right and back to my eyes and smiles mischievously. She holds the elixir in her mouth and she uses her other hand to force me to open my mouth. Slowly she pours the elixir into my mouth, then she massages my neck to force me to swallow it and then closes my mouth again. As she wipes the drops from the corners of my mouth. She stares in to my eyes in a way I have never seen before. What was it? But before I could think of the answer I fell asleep.

Abruptly I tear my eyes open and tightly draw the air. I stare up at a pointed canopy. Even though I have just woken up, I immediately notice that I was no longer in the hut. Inwardly, I sighed; Zelda had actually done something I disagreed with. Suddenly I feel a stinging pain in my chest and frantically look around Zelda, but I found nothing more than furniture. I sit up and see a Rito villager bringing me a mug with a mysterious liquid on a wooden serving tray.

"Good morning, revered hero. I brought you our traditional made medicine. But it seems you're already in good shape."

It was Saki, the wife of Teba, the white-feathered warrior of the Rito tribe, who helped me fight Against Vah Medoh. She seemed to me like an unassuming Rito woman, but beautiful to look at. She hardly has time to put down the cup before a horde of Rito children storm into the room and throw themselves on top on me.

"LINK, LINK, LINK, WE ARE SOOOO GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! PLAY WITH US, PLAY WITH US! SING WITH US!" all of them chirp in chorus as they jump on the bed while one even throws himself at my head.

"Be careful you little cheeky monkeys!" My heart fills with joy at seeing them and I let a laugh escape. I even joke around with them until I remember that Zelda isn’t here to watch this or experience the warmth of the village. Where was she? Immediately my cheerfulness suffocates, as if a candle had been put on it. My facial expression falls into my stoic expression as I remember that I didn’t protect Zelda again.

"Children, let the hero of our village rest for a while, he will take care of you when his wounds are healed and his pain disappears."

She must have noticed my change in mood, swirls it in my mind.

Reluctantly moaning, the children jump off the bed and say goodbye to me. Now it was finally quiet again. "Dear hero of the sword, the children worship you very much. They often run around and play knights and princesses and argue over who the hero should be with the sword." She giggled while holding her wing in front of her beak. 'So, don't mind them reacting so hastily to see you. However, I feel that your annoyance comes from a different origin. Does it have anything to do with the young woman with the golden hair and the big green eyes?"

Surprised by her acumen, I look at her directly without letting my guard down. I scornfully turn up my nose, leave the room and storm in the direction of Revali’s landing as I am stopped on the stairs by several powerful Rito warriors. I could take them all out in a split second. I feel the hot anger pulsing through my veins. Although they are several heads bigger than me I am not intimidated by anything. No obstacle was too hard. I will make it through here and find Zelda.

"Look, I thank you all for your help, but you must let me go right away. I must find my friend and protect her.”

“We are sorry hero of our village; we can’t let you go look after her. She told us you would act up when you woke up and that it was important to let you stay here as long as you need to heal.”

“Alright boys let’s end this game. Get out of my way and let me search for her.” Swiftly calculating my chances to escape without hurting them, I leap over their heads, spin around in mid-air and land on my feet directly behind them. My shoulder burns in pain. But I can’t stop yet. I need to find my best friend. Because without her, this world is without hope and light. Biting my teeth, I hold onto my shoulder and rush ahead. They scream after me and try to catch me but I was too fast for them. As I reached the stairs, I heard their voices demanding me to wait to let them explain. But there was no time for me to lose. I must find Zelda! I jump on the stair railing and run-down wards. I realise it was way more difficult to balance my body when my shoulder was injured . Feeling the cold headwind in my face, I took in a deep breath and focused. I hurried down the stairs, always keeping my muscles under control, I reach the entrance to Rito village and jump to the ground. I roll along the ground to take the impact out of the fall, but then I bump into the patrolling guard, who looks at me suspiciously. Without saying a word, I push past him and rush towards the first bridge.

Suddenly I feel a tingling on the back of my neck and instinctively stop just before the bridge. Within a fraction of a second, a flaming arrow is shot at the bridge, setting the wooden bridge on fire. I knew it would take longer for the fire to spread in the damp cold and rush onto the bridge. My upper body stripped and wrapped in bandages, I jump through the fire and hit the grassy rocks on the other side with full force. Face contorted in pain, I leap to my feet again and am about to charge towards the second bridge when a slender silhouette runs towards me.

"Link! Link! What are you doing! You're injured!" Her voice echoes in the face of the gorge below us and stabs me in the chest. She's alright, I think as relief spreads through me. I fall to my knees and struggle for breath. Only now do I realise how much strain I have put myself under. My body shivers with pain and cold and my sweat, mixed from my fear of losing her and my pain, freezes in the freezing cold.

"Link! LINK!" The hysteria in her voice is hard to miss. A breeze reaches me. I force myself to stand and look into two large worried green eyes. "Zelda..." I whisper to myself and force a smile. "By the goddess Hylia, what were you thinking running off in your condition???? Link. Please don't pass out again, I don't have that much strength to carry you." Then she presses herself against me, warming me with her Rito clothes as she carefully supports me as I stand up. But then she pauses and stares at a point ahead of us in the direction of Rito village.

"Link, please don't tell me the bridge is on fire because of you."

“Hmm… not quite.”

After everyone helped to distinguish the fire and repair the bridge we finally could talk about what happened. I sincerely apologized for being a total idiot as I learned what happened while I was asleep.

"Zelda, can you repeat why you did that? I wasn’t listening very well because of the angry looks around me.“ Now fully dressed in warm Rito clothes, I once bought from here back then, Zelda and I were finally able to be alone together. Saki was truly a blessing, as she noticed my insecurity around so many people and took out everyone as she left the room with the fire pit in the middle of the room.

"It’s going to be alright Link.“ Saki said but I wasn’t so sure about it. "Don’t worry they will understand after I talk to them.“

She looked between me and Zelda for a while and smiled in a way as if she would know something that I didn’t.

As soon as she left, Zelda looked at me waiting for me to give her my full attention.

"Link, it’s simple. I had limited ways to treat you in the mountains and your wounds were serious. I needed to send you to the village and get professional treatment for your injuries. I feared, I would lose you again but this time for good and I didn’t want you to go. So, I plotted to put you asleep because you wouldn’t want me be left alone in the mountains. Based on the information you told me a while ago that you could teleport yourself to a different place but it was way more difficult to send another person, I figured out how to teleport one person to a near place but I still had to study it. I am glad I managed to make it happen. Because now you’re in a safe place surround by people who respect and adore you."

Her look in her eyes became soft as she said the last words. I am not sure why but her look made my heart flutter. After a brief moment I realised that I was staring at her and shook my head. “Zelda but how did you find the way here? Did you teleport yourself here too?“

She giggled at my question and went further on to explain. "No, Link don’t be silly. I needed to send the slate with you in order to teleport you. I simply pinned a letter with a message and my coordinates on your clothes to let the Rito warriors find me. Remember the two, who looked at you with annoyance? It was them who came to guide me into the village."

Good grief, it were also the same dudes who held me back when I tried to escape. Embarrassment spread through me. I knew I had to make up for it.

“Don’t worry, they won’t be angry with you anymore after I talk to them." As if she read my mind. I smiled at a response and hoped she was right. „But why weren’t you here when I woke up? How long did I sleep anyway?“ I had been so stressed that only now did those thoughts occur to me. Uncertain, I grab the back of my head and look at Zelda, desperate for answers. In response, however, I get a honeyed chuckle. "You slept for a total of three days straight. It would took me a total of two days to get here, thanks to the Rito we got there quicker as they knew some shortcuts. When we finally arrived before the gorge, I could already see the bridge and was about to charge straight for it, but we stopped and I got on the back of the Rito with the blue feathers and soared over the gorge."

Suddenly I feel a strange feeling of fear mixed with a desire to fight take over. I had never felt this feeling before and yet I feel it right now, with Zelda telling me nothing problematic. I decided to push the thought aside and focus on Zelda.

"So you’ve been here a day already. How was it for you? The view is majestic, isn’t it? What had you actually done on the other side of the gorge, since I saw you coming from there.“

"When I arrived here I was immediately greeted warmly by the Rito children! They were so cute and sang me old songs from their people. I was also introduced to the elder! A really forgetful, sweet old geezer. He often spoke of you and how much you resembled the Link from the Time of Devastation. Then when it got awkward when he asked about my past, the woman with the cherry-blossom coloured feathers came to the rescue and saved me from interrogation .“ I smirked at her way of describing situations so vividly and dramatically. Even she giggled. "She was so kind and brought me to you and helped me take care of you. I learned a lot from her! She then gave me a book of remedies and cooking recipes and mentioned that I would find some ingredients at the other end of the bridge, in a horse stable which is a trading hub for many travelers. I just couldn’t help myself and dashed to the stable. I didn’t want to miss seeing you wake up, but unfortunately I was too late. I heard yelling in the distance and got worried, so I peeked out and then when I noticed the dark smoke, I dashed as I thought something had happened to you.“

She looks down sheepishly and almost whispers the last words. I smirk at her confession as I continue to lean forward towards her, mindful that the small cooking area next to us doesn’t torch my shoes. "Zelda, I was worried about you too. I thought you were alone in the mountains.“ I stare directly into her bright green eyes as she slowly raises her gaze to my blue eyes. I don’t even notice that I’ve already gotten close enough to smell her sweet scent. Once again I felt that desire inside me that I felt in Selmie’s hut. She gives me an infectious smile and asks me in a soft voice, "Link, can we stay here for a while? There’s something soothing and magical about the area.“ I nod in response and enjoy being able to be close to her again. "I will also take this opportunity to introduce you to two special Rito. Teba and Kass. You’ll love them both instantly.“ I smile at the thought of the proud warrior and the talented musician.

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avas-inner-demons-are-babies · 4 years

Text

Ohana

Ship: None (Though you may take implications as you please)

Summary: Leif has always insisted that he should be allowed to do things on his own. Well, now he’s on his own and honestly...he isn’t enjoying it. Perhaps a bit of new company can help him sort out his feelings.

A/N: Hey everyone! World’s most confused college freshman here, bringing you another MID fic that took waaay to long to get typed up. Legitimately, this has been sitting in my Google Docs for months, just taunting me. But there’s been a little less stresso in my espresso lately, so I took time to actually make myself sit down and get it done. I may not ship Ava and Leif personally, but their dynamic is just *chefs kiss*. I’ll never get over that whole “If you promise not to kill me then I won’t leave you behind.” “You’re with me till you die” scene. It makes me feel things. But anyways, this is nearly 14 full pages in G-Docs, and I hope you can all enjoy!

A/N 2.0: So apparently one of the cons of staying up late to finish a fic is forgetting to attach the actual fic itself to the post. My bad guys, here she be.

In his couple hundred years of living, Leif can proudly boast that he has done many, many things; some very common for Daemos of his age; others common to those much older than him; and there have even been a few select occasions when he has done things that even the most aged and experienced elders cannot ever claim to have done (getting exiled, befriending a prince, travelling dimensions to a world full of humans, befriending a human, living with a human, laughing with a human...the list seems to grow daily now).

However, out of all the various activities that he has taken part in throughout his life, he can safely say that people-watching has not been one of them. Back on Daemos, staring- like most other interactions, whether they be direct or otherwise- often resulted in battle; which, in turn, resulted in a lot of shouting and blood-shed. It was a silent show of disrespect and of challenge; and only idiots and warriors sought out battles willingly. And while the title of ‘warrior’ technically goes hand-in-hand with Leif’s recently earned place as a knight, the position is just that- recently earned. And despite what some may say, he is not an idiot. Considerate? Scholarly? Absolutely not. But street-smart and clever? Let’s just say he hadn’t become an infamous assassin by running solely off of reckless impulse and uneducated whims. But now, here on Earth, almost all of those skills have fallen into uselessness, and he can people-watch without any real concern for his life.

And by the Gods is he watching.

He is watching and scanning and listening and praying. Praying for a familiar face. Listening for the sound of a high voice discussing things of no importance, or for a loud, bratty complaint about anything at all; for a gentle-but-stern reprimand laced with patience, or a subtly nervous acknowledgement of some strange discomfort; even for a soft-but-proud observation of something completely obvious. Scanning for a flash of hot pink eyes or a bobbing carrot-top head of hair or a giant amidst the crowd of short humans. Watching so intensely for all of these things that the rest of the world seems to have filtered down into a watery hum.

To put it quite plainly, Leif is lost. Very lost in a very crowded place, with no idea where his group has vanished to or where he himself should (or even can) be. It had been fun at first; being able to do as he pleased; wandering wherever his whims decided to take him, stealing food from a group of small humans, kicking over trash cans, and just overall being a minor nuisance. But invigoration tends to fade very quickly when one is travelling a lot of unfamiliar terrain, and as it goes, so too does energy. It doesn’t help that they’d been at this “music festival” -as Ava had called it- for quite some time before he’d broken away from her and the others, and admittedly, he is starting to feel the strain on his feet from all the walking. In addition, the ridiculously large gathering of humans that bustle around him is beginning to leave him overwhelmed. And on top of that…

“...it’s starting to get cold” He pouts internally, suddenly rather grateful for the double-layered, long sleeve human shirt that Ava had gotten him. Ever since the Fall Festival, he’d noticed the air outside growing chillier by the day. It was starting to get to the point where their thoughtful human host unusually protective prisoner was considering going back to the Sacred Ma’all and obtaining them some “coats and hats and stuff”, to quote her specifically.

As a particularly nippy gust of winds arrives, lashing the tips of his ears as it dances through, he finds himself wishing desperately for these objects that he can not even properly picture.

Looking up at the sky, Leif can just make out the thin line of orange coating the horizon as the sun begins its lazy descent. Eyes narrowed, he decides to take a break. Plomping himself down on a nearby bench, he sighs, combing his fingers through his absolute mess of a mane.

“Ava promised.” He whispers, “She promised. They’ll be back. They have to come back.”

The city-dwelling regulars that skitter past him hardly spare a glance for the strange, mumbling man on the bench. It’s nothing they don’t already see on their daily commutes, and most would not blame them for their experienced silence. But Leif, who has no way of knowing what they know, takes their purposefully imposed ignorance as a personal offence. He feels segregated from their reality. Invisible.

Alone.

Leif hisses in a sharp breath as the word taunts him. Pressing his head into the palms of his hands, he represses a shudder. He should be used to this by now; being left to his own devices. How many times now has it been? How many betrayals and abandonments? Four? Five? More than one person should be able to count. He has been able to handle himself just fine before. So why now? Why now is he having such issues with finding his own way? He might call it ironic if he knew the meaning of the word.

“It’s because you got used to the cushy life.” A small voice in the back on his thoughts croons, “You liked being chummy with the Prince and his guard dogs. You liked that there was always food at the ready, and that you never had to worry where you were sleeping next. You liked the stability. The safety. And in time, you even came to like the laziness that this new world allowed.”

“That’s not true!” Leif barks back, not realizing how loud the proclamation was until several humans passing by wince and stumble as their paces quicken. He is sure to lower his voice as he continues to mumble to himself, “I can still take care of myself. I haven’t gone soft. I can do this.”

Taking in a long deep breath, he steels his will against the unpleasant thoughts racing around in his head. He bows his head and closes his eyes. When he opens them again a few ticks later, there’s a clear change. They’re collected. Focused.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do this.” He reassures himself, feeling some of that original vamped-up feeling return, “I’m a Daemos dammit! I don’t need some human to hold my hand! I’ll find my own way home! And then.-then I’ll kill them! I’ll kill them for leaving me!”

The mental pep talk does great things for Leif. Now enraged and brimming with confidence, breathing heavily and nearly quaking with the emotion of it all, he puts on a sneer and glares out into the crowd. His fingers flex as he summons forth his sickles, ready to swing them out at any unfortunate soul that crosses his path. He stands, his knuckles white around their hilts. The dying sunlight has no effect on him anymore. His goal is apparent in his mind. He is prepared. Determined.

He takes one strong, bold step forward…

...and is subsequently swept off his feet by the force of a group of teens pushing past him.

Nearly losing his balance, Leif’s arms flail in an attempt to regain his balance, and he immediately bumps into a young couple. As they turn on him with vicious glares, he steps away from them. Disorientation takes this chance to rush through his system. As he fumbles about, one of his sickles manages to catch on the shirt of a small child toddling by with his mother. Leif jerks one direction while the boy jerks in the other. A shirt sleeve tears, and the little one goes sprawling to the ground. An ear-piercing shriek explodes from tiny lungs. All heads turn in their direction. Wide-eyed Leif throws away his weapons and presses his hands against his sensitive ears. While staggering away from all the attention, he runs into yet another man who- being caught completely off guard- falls back into someone behind him. As the domino effect continues, the noise and panic cause the poor Daemos to go into full flight mode. Gritting his teeth, he gathers just enough control to take a flying leap over the top of the completely bewildered mob. He lands back near the bench and grasps it tightly to keep himself from falling to his knees. As he takes a seat once more, the humans are all glancing around and shouting at each other in offense. The child continues crying.

Thoroughly defeated, Leif allows his head to fall back as he slumps down into the wooden comfort. Then, he lifts it back up only to cradle it in his hands. The unwelcome tears brought on by pure fear sting at the corners of his eyes. Releasing a shaky sigh, he finally gives into the thought that he has so far been refusing to voice.

“I’m doomed.”

***

Soaring high above the head of one particularly shaken Daemos, a careless pigeon makes its way around the festival with ease. Drifting aloof above the sea of hundreds of singing and laughing humans, it follows the breeze along the street and down towards one particular block, where a vendor has been handing out pretzels. And at this moment, it just so happens that a young woman, with flowing dark hair and vibrant pink eyes, has just dropped the remaining half of her salted treat on the ground. The pigeon is quick to join several of its other brethren in tearing at the free meal to pieces, completely unaware that shock is what delivered this wonderful treat to them. Although, they learn very soon after, as said young woman lets off a loud, horrified shout. Grey feathers go flying as the band disperses in a threatened rush.

The group of men trailing behind the woman jerk in surprise.

“Princess Ava? What’s wrong?” The youngest, a concerned looking redhead, calls out.

Ava stares at her companions with a feverish look. Pointing at each of them individually, the others can hear her counting them, over and over again.

“One, two, three, four...two, three, four...three, four, four, four! Why are there only four of you!” Her voice raises in both pitch and volume, “Where’s Leif?!”

Her words seem to settle with them all at the exact same time. The tallest of the bunch, Pierce, begins flickering his gaze from face to face, searching for the former-assassin in the horde of people around them. Rhys, Noi, and Asch all turn off in different directions, then come back and share a look. They all focus on Ava, who has turned to the ground with guilt-ridden eyes.

“How could I...he was just with us not too long ago, right? Right?” Her frantic question is only met with uncertain silence from her companions. Rhys goes as far as to look away, nibbling on his ice pop, “Oh God. We have to find him! Leif!”

Ava begins pushing her way through the crowd, crying out to her missing friend. The boys stick to her like frightened ducklings as they mimic her steps. Their screams rise above the swell of music and voices.

“Leif, where are you!”

***

As his friends begin their desperate hunt a few streets away, Leif finds himself aimlessly ambling along through the park. He has discovered that there are less people back within these tree-sheltered pathways and he is grateful for it. He is on the hunt for something, although if he were asked he would not be able to say exactly what. Shelter? Company perhaps? A sign pointing home would be nice, but he can’t really read all that well, and he doubts that there is one around regardless. For a natural-born hunter, he certainly does have an awful sense of direction.

His fingers tap against his thigh as he walks. On occasion, he mumbles curses at himself for getting stuck in this situation. The night sky is clear and bright, and more than once he finds himself staring up at it, feeling as though the stars are laughing at his plight. Gaining a little comfort in the embrace of the shadows, he sticks to them, glancing over every now and again to see a straggling human stroll by. He passes the fountain where he and Ava had encountered the threatening ‘clique’;passes a large stone statue of some long-dead human frozen in time; passes what looks to be a small garden area, where brightly colored flowers glow in the moonlight.

Eventually, Leif reaches an area that he first assumes to be abandoned. The quiet and empty wrap around him like a blanket. His only company seems to be the soft glow from the scattered lampposts. The peace here cradles him in its arms and promises him safety. He’s almost relaxed, resigning to spend the night in whatever tree provides the most cover and warmth, when suddenly-

“Heya there compadre.”

Leif startles back several feet and does a neat little twirl to face the direction of the slow and kindly voice that had called out to him. How he had missed the strange human before him in his first look around is beyond Leif, but he certainly sees the man now. He sits leaning against the nearest tree with an air of remiss and a smile on his face. Upon seeing Leif’s reaction to his greeting, he puts his hands up in reassurance

“Hwoa there! Didn’t mean to startle ya friend. Just couldn’t help but notice that you were lookin’ a tad lost.”

“We’re not friends.” Leif interjects so instinctively that he nearly cuts the stranger off. Then, catching his own tongue before he says anything truly offensive, he reroutes with, “But...yeah, I am lost. I got seperated from my group a while ago and haven’t been able to find them since. And I’m not very familiar with your kingdom yet, so I can’t just go back home.”

Thanks to the poor lighting between them, the Daemos misses how the stranger’s eyebrows quirk a little at his self-correction (and yet not the use of ‘kingdom’?). But as he makes his way over to this new human, Leif does begin to take in the man’s overall messy and unkempt appearance. His long, auburn hair is wrapped up into an extremely makeshift ponytail, the length of which surpasses even that of Pierce’s or Ava’s. The many rebellious strands held back out of his face by a thick, green fabric headband that’s stretched across his forehead. It must have been made to match the long, tassled poncho that he wears, their colors the same. Beneath it, he only seems to have a miserably stained grey shirt, and pants so baggy that Leif can not imagine them being comfortable. His skin, which at first appeared to simply be naturally dark, is actually merely a deceptive tan which highlights every freckle, scar, and wrinkle. Leif is sure that if he were to touch the stranger, he might have an almost leathery feel to him. Teeth no whiter than a well-worn paperback fill in a broad smile that brings to life the creases around the edges of both the stanger’s lips and eyes. Eyes that are brown like a healthy farm soil, and seem to hold a level of spirit and life that Leif can never recall having seen in any other person before. It’s unfiltered blatancy is surprising to him.

“Well ahh, what’cha waitin’ for?” The stranger suddenly picks up the conversation, scooching slightly to the right and patting the ground beside him, “Come’n take a seat. We can vibe while the universe carries the train of life down its long tracks.”

Leif hesitates. The human before him might be a stranger, but he emits an image that reminds the Daemos of the forest spirits that could be found back in his own world. The Earth seems comfortable around him. If one squinted, it would almost seem as though the tree’s trunk and roots had warped to form a throne around him.

“He seems like a powerful sage. I should stay. Maybe he can help me.”

Nodding to himself more so than the man, Leif takes his place on the grass. This results in a wide, toothy grin on behalf of his companion, and being so close now, Leif is able to notice how one of his canines is missing.

“Joyous day! You’ll be the first bit of company I’ve had in a long time my fellow wanderer. Say now, what’s your name?”

“They call me Leif.”

“Leaf? The name of a freelancer. A young man born for travel and change. A soul that dances in the wind, its colors ever uncertain.” The man’s smile softens and his eyes stare off in Leif’s general direction, and yet seem to be staring at something miles away, “You and I, I’m sure we’re the same. I’ve had many a name myself, but most around here know me as Jingle. It’s a pleasure to meet’cha.”

Jingle holds out a hand and they shake. Leif has seen this done enough times on the tee-vee to be able to properly pull it off, even if he doesn’t quite understand the significance. Then, glancing over his shoulder, Jingle proceeds to reach back and pull, from behind the tree, a forgeign looking object.

The thing is clearly made from some kind of light and polished earth wood. Its beige surface has been very delicately carved with a swirling, wave like pattern that decorated almost the entirety of its pear shaped body. A large round hole rests a little ways above the bottom. Stretched taut up its middle and along the long arm protruding from the top are six silver strings, wrapped at both ends around small metal nubs. At the head of the arm are six knobs all turned in various directions. None of the silver pieces shine, and in fact seem quite well worn. Nearly all of the impressive wood surface is riddled with scratches.

Jingle positions the thing against his chest.

“What is that?” Leif asks, eyeing it with unease.

“This here is my trusty guitar Taylor. I know she isn’t much compared to those clunky metal demons they’re selling out there-” Here, he nods his head out in the direction of the still-ongoing festival, “-but she does me just fine. So long as I keep her pretty, she sings like an angel.”

“It...sings?”

“As sweet and humble a tune as you might ever hear. Here, have a listen.”

With his nimble fingers already poised to play, Jingle wastes no time in coaxing a tune out from the air. From the first pluck of a string, Leif finds himself utterly enraptured. Each swift movement of the human’s hand brings forth another new wave of sound so soft and breathtaking that the Daemos doesn’t even know how to process it. It is as if Jingle’s soul is completely in tune with the instrument in his grasp. Leif sits stunned, feeling the music tempt his very heart and bring prickles to his skin. A minute passes, and he soon finds himself lying completely relaxed against the tree trunk, eyes closed, and merely absorbing.

Jingle plays for some time, and for that time the two are in their own universe. It is very dark now, and Leif can feel his mind just starting to slip off in unconsciousness. His body is heavy. Connected to the very grass he sits upon by an unnamable force that he chooses to call exhaustion. When his company eventually brings the song to an end, it takes Leif a few moments to reconnect with reality. Green eyes blink several times, and turn to find that Jingle is already watching for his reaction.

“That was amazing.” Leif breathes in as soft a tone as he’s capable of.

“Jus’ like I told ya. Voice of an angel.” Jingle hums, parroting his earlier words. He shifts to place Taylor on the ground beside him. When he turns back, he finds Leif staring into the space above them with a small frown on his face, “My friend, what troubles you? The world weighs heavy on your shoulders tonight.”

“I’m not sure. I just…” Leif trails off, searching within himself for an explanation for the crushing weight in his chest, “I think I miss my friends. I keep wanting them to be here, but they probably already left. I don’t think they’re coming back for me.”

They sit quietly for a few minutes. Jingle peers off down the park path. Leif clears his throat in a battle against the tight feeling that fills it. He jumps when a gentle hand lands on his shoulder.

“Lighten your soul wanderer Leif. Everyone leaves sooner or later, but just because they’ve left doesn’t mean they are gone. Pray tell, what doubts whisper in your ear tonight?”

“Eh?”

“Why do you assume so quickly that your friends won’t return to you?”

“Oh. The way you talk is really weird, you know that?”

The human man only smiles at him, patience and expectancy in his eyes. He makes a light gesture with his hand, urging Leif to continue. And after several seconds, he does with a tamed sigh.

“I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I cause more trouble than I’m worth.” The simple admission seems to close a giant force around his ribs. As it squeezes painfully, he finds himself emptying more words than he ever knew he had been filling up with, “I know I tend to go overboard most of the time, but I never- no, I guess just lately- I mean, I haven’t been meaning to cause problems recently. Everything is just so...so calm here, and I don’t know how to live like that. Back on- I mean, back where I’m from, peace and quiet always meant something was wrong, and we hardly go anywhere or do anything, and I just get so bored! I hate just sitting around and doing nothing, but it seems like that’s all the others want to do anymore. And I know I could probably just go out for a while on my own and burn some energy but your world is so big and I just...I don’t want to end up on my own again.”

He gives a forced and pitiful huff of laughter.

“Although I guess it’s too late for that now. I’m sure they probably already went home and forgot about me. They’re probably relieved to get rid of me.”

Leif hadn’t meant to let that flooding fear leak into his words. Or that harsh scratchiness of his throat, which left breaks in his sentences. The uncomfortable rhythm of his heart and the mild shaking must be showing through as well now. It makes no sense to him. He’s only felt this terrified once before- the day they had lost Ava at the Fall Festival. And although the circumstances now are similar, he can not imagine what it is about this strange human that seems to make those insecurities rise up in ten-folds. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have the others with him now. Maybe it’s because he really has no idea where to go from here.

The panic had set on him so fast the Leif didn’t properly notice it until it was being chased away by the strong and defendant strums of a guitar. The first twang brought him to a jerking halt at first. But as the singing notes continued, his mind returned to the harmless reality. He came back to find himself looking at the stars.

Jingle- as if noticing Leif’s inner plight- had picked up Taylor once again.

“It is not so easy to forget one’s friends.” He murmurs as he plays, “Do not so swiftly dismiss your own worth my snowy-haired partner. If the universe truly believes you were meant to be with these people you seek, then it will surely guide them back to you. And it sounds to me that affection has already been allowed to roost deep in your soul.”

The younger has nothing to say to that. He only closes his eyes, breathes deeply, and nods. Drawing his knees to his chest, he crosses his arms and lies down his head. All these new emotions are exhausting.

***

Ava slumps down against the frigid stone of the fountain, pulling her knees up and hiding her face in them.

“I can’t believe this.” The muffled moan that escapes her is full of pain, “How could I lose him? What kind of friend am I? God, he probably thinks we abandoned him.”

“I don’t get what you’re so worried about.” Asch harrumphs, doing a single lap around the structure before taking a seat on its edge, “We haven’t encountered anything dangerous since we’ve been here on Earth. Leif can take care of himself for one night. Why can’t we just go home? It’s cold out here and I’m tired!”

Despite his childish whining, he at least has the decency to look sheepish when she turns to glare at him.

“Well if that’s the case Asch, why don’t we just leave you out here tonight? You’re always going on about how you’re so much better than Leif anyways, so if he can make it out here on his own, then clearly you can too.” During her short reprimand, Ava stands and crosses the few steps between them. Her eyes hold a level of rage that the Daemos can never recall having seen on her before. And despite the fact that he could easily beat her in a confrontation- physical or verbal- he feels himself shrinking in shame before her petite frame.

With a satisfied huff, Ava walks several paces away. In the short time it takes her to regain her composure, her anger morphs instantly into guilt. Her posture slumps as she glances back at Asch, whose hurt expression is turned towards the concrete.

“I’m...I’m sorry Asch.” She sighs, “I didn’t mean that.”

“I know.” Comes the humbled response from behind her.

“I’m just really worried about him.”

“I know.”

The next few minutes are shared in silence. The other three Daemos choose not to express a word on the exchange just yet, only shuffling about in their own thoughts. There is a level of complete loss between them. No one wants to leave Leif behind-- but Asch isn’t the only one whose focus and determination is beginning to wane.

A particularly nippy breeze blows through, causing Ava’s already shaking body to jitter violently. In a second Pierce seems to simply materialize beside her and pull her sniffling form into a warming embrace.

“Perhaps Prince Asch is right. We should go for now.” He suggests quietly as she leans into him.

“But Leif-”

“-Will be easier to find tomorrow when it is light out.” Rhys jumps in, “We are all concerned Princess Ava, but Asch does have a point. It is unlikely that Leif has found himself in any sort of real danger, and even if he has, he is a trained warrior. None of us are suggesting we abandon our search completely, but we are all at our limits. Even if we were to find Leif tonight, at this rate we may all end up sick by the morning. Please, we will follow you no matter your choice, but think reasonably.”

There’s a gentle hint of pleading in his voice that prevents Ava from denying his claims outright. She looks between all of them in turn, searching desperately for some counterargument that never comes to rise. It doesn’t take long before she finally lets herself really take in the heaviness of her own body; the stinging left in her feet from walking for so long; the need to close her eyes and rest that is becoming harder and harder to fight away. The boys watch with patience as her mind wears itself down, and they don’t miss the surrender that wins over her stature. There’s a quiet breath, then:

“...fine. Let’s just go home.”

Dear reader, have you ever managed to convince someone you love to do something they don’t want to, only to be hit with a horrible wave of guilt when they give in and agree to go through with it? Have you ever wished you could travel back in time just a few minutes, if only to stop yourself from being so damn persistent? If so, then maybe you can imagine how the Daemos boys feel at this point in time. The deep disappointment they observe in Ava’s eyes as she pulls herself from Pierce’s arms is enough to make their very souls wince. Three sets of eyes meet as their minds change almost unanimously, and Rhys can tell the other two are waiting for him to come up with some sort of clever escape. And being the man he is, he complies.

“Well, ah-just a moment Princess Ava. We...we haven’t heard from Noi yet! A decision such as this should be agreed upon by everyone present, yes? And perhaps if he believes we should stay out. Noi?”

Rhys shifts, hoping to prompt Noi into insisting that they stay. But the younger Daemos- who has been noticeably absent from the entire conversation- doesn’t appear to have even noticed his name being called. In fact, he likely missed the discussion as a whole, seeing as how he stares off down one of the darkness-swallowed paths with fully focused attention. His amber eyes sparkle with wonder. In listening closely, one may have heard him humming.

Debate temporarily forgotten, Ava and the rest focus on him with quirked eyebrows and tilted heads.

“Uhh...Noi?” Asch beacons tentatively.

“Do you hear it?” Noi whispers in response, to all of them and yet no one in particular.

“Hear what?” Ava asks, frowning, “I don’t hear anything.”

Pierce steps forward and rests his chin atop her head.

“I hear it.”

“Me too.” Asch adds after a moment.

“Me as well.”

“Wait, seriously, what are you guys hearing? It’s just quiet for me.”

“It’s music.” Rhys says, “Different from what the humans at the festival were playing. It’s quieter.”

“Softer.” Pierce adds, and the scholar nods.

“Earlier there were voices too.” Noi finishes.

“Wait, voices? But who else would be out this la-” Ava’s eyes spark up wide. Before the guys can even hit the same realization she has, she’s already gone; taking off with flying feet and a new swarm of adrenaline buzzing through her veins. “LEIF!”

“Princess Ava!” A chorus of Daemos voices rise up through the night, and they sprint, one after the other, along her trail. Her voice bounces off the surveying trees.

“Leif!”

***

“Leif!”

Two men sitting beneath a canvas on moonlit leaves jerk their heads up in unison. The elder lowers his guitar and puts on a muted, knowing smile. The younger goes tense as he strains his ears for the echoes of the voice that had rushed at them in the night. His green eyes go wide as can be, quite literally glowing with hope. He places one, prepared hand on the ground…

“Leif!”

Springing to his feet faster than should be natural, he runs only a few paces forward.

“Ava?” He breathes. The sound of rushing feet pouding closer out of the darkness causes him to gasp and with the new air in his lungs he shouts out, “Ava! Ava, I’m here!”

Leif steps into the light just as his human friend barges into its threshold. He’s tossed off his already imbalanced feet as she tumbles with a football-tackle force into him. They go down together onto the rocky ground. Ava clings desperately to his shirt, as if afraid he will vanish into thin air at the impact. Before either have fully taken to their jarring landing, he finds her burying her face into his neck, sobbing almost hysterically with relief. Her sporadic hiccups seem to be contagious, and for the first time since quite possibly his toddler days, he finds himself holding onto another person like a lifeline and shedding tears that he hardly cares if others see.

“I’m so sorry.” Ava manages through uncontrollable gasps, “I’m so, so sorry Leif.-”

“It wasn’t your fault, I’m-”

“-I didn’t mean to leave you. I just turned around and you were gone and-”

“-the one who walked off. I’m an idiot for thinking-”

“-we looked everywhere for you! We almost went home-

“-I got so lost without you-”

“-I didn’t want to, but Noi heard you and I’m just-”

“-I’m just-”

“-So happy you’re back.”

The unorganized scrambling over each other’s apologies ends with synchronization. Still sniffling, Ava lifts her head from his shoulder and meets his gaze. There’s a pause. Then broad, toothy smiles replace quivering frowns, and their foreheads press together as they share a laugh.

It’s around this time that the other four Daemos reach their position, only to find their newly reunited friends on the ground, trying to hold back bursts of giggles. The picture absolutely throws them. More so because of Leif’s bubbly demeanor than Ava’s, though both are certainly a sight to behold-- with tousled hair and dusty clothes, goosebump rippled skin now detailed with red marks where they had slid against the concrete. And yet the two grin and carry on in that way that can only be done after one’s stress-forced sense has left them, their cares evaporating into thin air. Earth truly must be turning them soft, because the once strict and stone-cold warriors- upon surveying the scene- give genuine smiles of their own.

It takes a little bit of time before the pair actually settle down enough to sort themselves out and stand once again. Even then, Ava makes sure to link her arm with his, swearing inwardly to never let him out of her sights again. Leif on the other hand, does his best to recollect himself, not wanting to give the others any more reason to pester him later about the blatant displays of emotion. He hides his flushed face in his sleeve, pretending to wipe a smear of dirt off his face.

‘It’s nice to see you again.” Rhys says with only a hint of scolding behind his words, “Though if you ever run off like that again, you’re finding your own way home.”

“That’s fair.” Leif replies with a shrug of his shoulders. He doesn’t miss how Ava studies his reaction from the corner of her eye.

“Did you miiiss us?” Asch drawls mockingly, stepping forward with a smirk on his face. Despite the remark, he gives Leif a friendly knock on the shoulder- a habit he’d unknowingly picked up a few weeks ago.

Leif only scoffs, but it tells them all they really need to know. He looks downwards briefly and mumbles something that only the young Prince seems able to hear. Asch blinks in recoil, then replaces his cheeky grin.

“What was that?” He asks incentively, “I don’t think we all heard you.”

Leif growls a low growl.

“I said-ugh-thanks for...looking for me.” Then, adding on more softly, “It’s nice to know you guys actually cared enough to find me.”

“Well duh.” Ava’s response causes him to lift his head in her direction, “I made you a promise didn’t I?”

His mind flashes back to that day they were shopping for decorations. He’d almost convinced himself it was a dream.

“Yeah. I guess you did.”

“Besides-!” Suddenly, Noi appears in front of him, beaming in the friendly boyish way that used to get him mocked back on Daemos, “You’re one of us! No man left behind, right?”

“I-”

“Exactly.” Rhys cuts him off in affirmation, “Despite your chaotic personality and violent tendencies, you are still an important part of our group.”

“You-”

“Yeah.” Asch sighs, carefully selecting his next few words, “I’m not sure where we’d be without our healer honestly. And...I will admit that you’re the only one here who’s any fun to spar with.”

“Yes.” Finally, Pierce, “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

As Leif gapes at all of his friends in turn, something new solidifies within him. See, when Asch had saved him from execution all those years ago, the Prince had earned his life. And with that, over time, there came undying loyalty. But it was always saved for Asch alone. The others had been tolerable companions at most, at least until they got to Earth.

Then came along Ava, who unintentionally became their focal point. She was important to him- to all of them. But he wouldn’t have died for her. Not at the start. That problem arose when she became fond of them, and they- in turn- of her. It only took a couple weeks after Leif had admitted to himself that she was actually rather preferable company, that he seemed to swear away to her the same things he had gifted Asch. His life. His loyalty. Fresh off the line went his affection as well. And although at this point, he was close to the other Daemos, he still felt separate. A product of his own mind and the upbringing that was so very different from their own.

It’s taken until now for that last link to click into place. That camaraderie which he’d been lacking now swarms through his morals and rearranges itself among those mental pieces. He feels some of his outlooks shifting. Most importantly, a single, powerful thought plants itself in his mind and takes root.

“They want me.”

His chest swelling, the most Leif can manage is, “Thank you.”

The sound of quiet shuffling a few feet away accidentally breaks through the touching moment. The emotional bunch all turn their attention to a man standing like a startled cat beneath a nearby tree. Clearly, he had meant to scuttle away unnoticed.

“Who is he?” Noi asks.

“Oh that’s Jingle.” Leif tips his head in the direction of the musical man, who has gathered his meager belongings in his arms. At the mention of his name, he winces slightly and gives a wave, “He’s been letting me sit with him. He's pretty cool for a human. The way he talks is weird though.”

Now, Ava, the Earth and city specialist of the group, immediately recognizes Leif’s apparent companion as a member of a nomadic homeless community that had just taken its annual place in one of the far back corners of the park. She’d never spoken to the man in true conversation, but she can recall exchanging a few words with him last year after she’d heard him playing the exact same guitar he now cradles to his chest. He had an impressive talent that convinced her to deliver him several dollar bills and whatever meager change she managed to hold onto after her sparse commutes to the mall or grocery store. She can vouch for the fact that he does say some fairly strange things on occasion. However…

“Hey, you’re that chill guitar man I met last year.” She says, hoping to spark some comfort in his cautious air, “Have you really been hanging out with Leif this whole time?”

Jingle nods, shifting into a more permanent stance.

“You didn’t have to do that. But I’m thankful that you did.” She smiles warmly, “Honestly, I was worried he might have gotten himself into trouble.”

“It was no problem young miss.” Jingle makes the effort to reply, “I’d seen you all together early in the day, and happened to catch my fellow wanderer out on his own. He looked like he could use someone to hold him steady until his world righted itself again.”

“Ah...yeah. I don’t doubt that he did.” Digging into her pockets, Ava pulls out five dollars- the sole remnants of cash that was pretty much all spent on food, “Here, please take this. It isn’t nearly as much as you deserve, but it’s all I have.”

The older human steps forward to accept the money from her outstretched hand with a grateful expression. Immediately after pocketing it, he spins back around in the other direction and walks away into the night. Ava silently determines to continue her tradition from before if she can manage to find him again in the coming weeks. But before any of that-

“Come on you guys. Let’s get home.”

#aphmau my inner demons #aphmau mid #mid ava #mid leif #mid noi #mid asch #mid rhys #mid pierce #mid fanfiction #aphmau fanfiction #there's also a sort of OC in this one #Which is really just a humanized version of Jingle from Hamtaro #because #a- childhood #and b- he was exactly the type of character I wanted for this fic #there's also a hint of dance man from Wandersong in him as well #please forgive me #I just live for vibing nomad characters #Thank you all for reading!

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myimaginesandrp · 4 years

Text

Ben Solo X Female Reader

Promt 10: He finds you after coming back to the light

Words: 2,600

I know it’s under the NSFW list, but I wasn’t feeling the smut. Thanks to everyone who likes my writing! As always this is full of mistakes, please be kind :) I’ve still got requests to get to, please be patient.

A quiet drip of water escaping from the ceiling flooded the quiet space of your cell. A steady, peaceful sound that was the only thing keeping you sane. One thousand, nine hundred and four drops this morning. Well, maybe it was morning. You had lost all trace of time a long time ago. The cell was cold and damp. The water had seeped through every crevice of your clothes. That is, the ones that weren’t covered with blood. At least they had trapped you in the underground caves instead of feeding you to the sand creatures of the surface world. That would’ve hurt more, at least you hoped. Now you were beginning to think maybe that would’ve been the better way to go. Every now and again, a gust of wind would travel through your cell, scaring the rat-like creatures that kept you company. After sitting in the darkness for so long, the scatter of paws was the only motion you felt, a welcomed distraction from the discomfort that filled your body. You reached for your water mug for the third time today. It was still empty. No one had come down in days. Maybe they’d finally fulfilled their threats and left you there to rot.

“I should’ve joined the first order,” you mutter to yourself as you sat up against the wall. The sound of your voice echoed through the caves until it finally faded off in the distance. You were so tired. Physically of course, every movement you made reminded you of the beatings your captors generously and repeatedly bestowed upon you. Mentally, however, you were just as well gone all together. All for a stupid droid.

The stupid little thing was probably blown up and floating in space while you were sitting here dying. At least you’d won the war. That’s the last thing you’d overheard your captors say anyway. You’d won the war but no one was coming to save you. Maybe they were right. Everyone had more important things to do than to go looking for a rogue resistance pilot. Even if they had been looking for you, the outer rim was the last place they’d think about searching through. Therefore, the lovely cell you found yourself in would likely double as your resting place. Once the rats were done with you, of course.

The echo of footsteps approaching down the hall interrupted your thoughts. Well look at that, they hadn’t left you to rot after all. Maybe they were back to finish you off. That would be good. At least now you could rest. You fulfilled your mission. The droid got the coordinates; you delivered on your promise. Your eyes fixed on the corridor, waiting to see which one would be the one to finish you off. The red one, you hoped. He would do it quickly.

The footsteps grew louder and rushed, they were practically running down the path at this point. Through the darkness, you swore you saw a blue glow in the distance. What kind of crazy shit was this? You’d definitely lost it by now. Maybe you were already dying and having visions? No, you were not crazy. With every passing second, the blue glow would grow brighter and closer until you couldn’t stand looking anymore. You shifted your gaze away from the entrance; the light was burning right through your eyes. After not seeing the glow of the sun for months, this was too much for you to bear. The sudden sound of melting metal made you jump. Whoever was behind the gates of your cell was tearing the bars down. You cowered away as the figure slashed away at the metal, a loud hum ringing in your ears with every swing. The pounding continued for a few more seconds before coming to a stop. A quiet hum echoed through the cell and the blue glow disappeared, leaving behind a cloud of smoke. You blinked at the ground, spots of light lingering in your sights. You could feel the warmth radiating from the person in front of you even though he was all the way at the other end of the cell. He took a couple of steps forward and you winced in response.

This is it. You thought as you waited for him to strike, but he didn’t move. The air was still heavy with smoke from his rampage, and he just stood there looking in your direction. A gasp escaped your lips as your eyes managed to acclimate to the darkness again. The person standing in front of you, only a shadow of recognition in your mind. It wasn’t any one of your captors, but it couldn’t be the person you were thinking of. No, he’d have killed you by now. Almost everything about him looked the same. The tall frame, the raven hair but it was longer now, and his chest heaving from using the light saber. It had to be him, because those brown eyes stared at you with the same love and adoration they had so long ago.

He stepped out of the x wing to blinding sunlight. The last time he'd stepped foot on such an arid place the whole population had been devastated by his rage. He pushed the thought away from his mind and stepped forward into the unknown. It had only been a week since he’d returned to the light. His mother was his last saving grace from the dark side, and the girl Rey had sacrificed herself to end the Sith Lord that haunted his mind. Now with the voices in his head gone he wanted to move on to a new start, but he couldn't. One last remnant of his past was haunting him now. He had to know she was okay. He knew she was alive, he’d felt it even before he entered the atmosphere. After word had gone that the first order had lost it’s supreme leader, the resistance quickly took over the galaxy, helping everyone rebuild stability into people's lives. That’s when he started looking for her. Finding her turned out to be a challenge. No one in the resistance had seen her for months, and the order had lost track of her shortly after. It wasn't until a small droid was scanned a few days ago that he’d finally gotten a lead. His heart ached as he searched the outer rim in search of her. He’d just about given up when he sensed a single life form on one of the distant planets. As he searched throughout the endless caves of the panet, a distant sound alerted him of her presence. He could sense her, so close to him. He quickened his steps until he was completely speeding down the corridors of the prison. He ran past empty cells, the stench of death filling the air around him, his grandfather's saber in his hand. He ran and ran until he reached the end of the cave. He slid to a halt only a few paces from the door. His heart dropped at the sight in front of him. She was so beautiful, just as the day he’d last seen her. It was behind his mask then, and she’d seen him with so much hate in her eyes. Now, she looked so scared, so fragile, and with defeat in her eyes. He could see her, she was sprawled against the wall, injured and cowering from the glow of the saber. Without a warning he began swinging at the bars, needing to destroy anything that kept him from reaching her. Once he finished, he made his way over to her slowly. When she winced, he stopped, frozen with fear. That was, until he heard her voice again calling out to him.

“Ben?” You called out into the darkness. The figure took another step forward before crouching down next to you. “Ben is that you?”

“Yes” His word was a quiet, broken whisper in the dark. You reached your hand out to touch his cheek, certain that he’d vanish into thin air. He placed his hand over yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. Hot tears pooled and streamed down your eyes as emotion took you over. He’d come back to you, he’d come back to the light. His arms wrapped around you gently before his lips were on you. You threw your arms around him and welcomed them, pouring all the love you’d given up on for the past years. He pulled away moving his hands to your waist as he examined you.

“Can you stand?” You nodded in response, but when you tried, your legs failed you.

“Easy. I’ve got you” He quickly caught you in his arms and lifted you. “Let's get you home” You held on to him as he snaked through the tunnels not looking back at the horrible place.

Once you reached the surface, you closed your eyes, his hand was on your face, shielding you from the sun. Not long after he placed you inside the ship and you were off, traveling through the stars. His hand never left yours as he piloted you through the galaxy. Finally at rest, you allowed yourself to drift off into a peaceful slumber. Some time later you heard him calling to you.

“We’re here” he said. The quiet hum on the ship came to a stop and you looked around at the jungle around you. A pair of arms lifted you and you met them by wrapping your arms around him once more. As he walked you past several tent stations, you were met with hundreds of curious eyes. A few of them were familiar, comrades you’d thought were gone. Funny bastards, left you behind and never came back. You lifted you hand to flip them off as you passed them. A smug grin was plastered to your face once you met their reaction. You recognized the resistance base once you were met with General Organa herself. Her face was light up with a warm smile as she greeted you.

“Welcome back son. I knew you’d find her” They exchanged a few words before he nodded and headed towards the medical tent. He placed you gently on a stretcher and the medical droids took over immediately. He sat beside you holding your hand, his eyes never leaving yours. There was so much you needed to tell him, how much you missed him, how proud you were that he’d overcome the darkness, but most of all he needed to know how much you still loved him. You smiled when you realized his facial expression mirrored your own. After all this time, you could still hear him without saying a word.

Nightfall came around when the medical droids were done with you. You loved the damn things. You finally regained control of your body, your limbs cooperated as you moved them around. He reached for your hand.

“Y/N '' he called out to you softly “you’ll stay in my quarters tonight” You nodded in response to his offer. Nothing in this galaxy could possibly keep you away from him now. You made your way back through the tents until you reached a large ship in the middle of the encampment. Once inside, he offered you food and you accepted it gratefully. It tasted heavenly in your mouth. You couldn't remember the last time you’d eaten a proper meal. The ship looked a little worn down, but it remained the same as it had before you were separated. He paced around, gathering different things and moving them to new places.

“I’ve got some clothes here for you” he called out from another room as you ate. “I have a refresher with running water here if-” He stopped mid sentence when he saw you eating. His gaze softened as he took you in and the glow of ship’s lights illuminating your skin. You smiled at him, at the man standing in front of you. He was broken, but all here. You stood from your seat and walked over to him, taking the clothes from his hands.

“Thank you” you whispered, your gazed timidly faced to the ground. He took your chin in his hand and lifted your face to meet him. “Y/N I-” You pressed a finger to his lips to stop him

“There’s nothing to explain Ben. You're here, that's all that matters to me” you stood on your toes and pressed your lips to him softly. His arms wrapped around you, welcoming your kiss with more urgency now than before. You deepened the kiss, feeling electricity run through your body with every second that passed. After a moment he pulled away and took your hand in his.

“Come. Let’s get you cleaned up” You followed him down the corridor until you reached the refresher. A large tub filled with water was waiting for you. He took the clothes from you and placed them on a counter next to the tub.

“I’ll give you some privacy” he said before he turned to leave. You quickly reached for him, taking a hold of his arm. The last thing you wanted was to be parted from him, no matter how little that was.

“Ben” you called out to him.

Stay your words echoed in his mind. His gaze softened at your plea. Who knew how long you’d been held up in that prison, the thought angered him, but it quickly faded as you took his hand in yours. He reached for you and helped you remove your clothes, his hands lingering on your kin, brushing against the cuts you had sprinkled across your body. You did the same to him, taking in every bit of him as his clothing scattered to the floor. His body was covered in scars. Once he was done with your clothes, he picked you up and gently placed you inside the tub. The warmth of the water was soothing against your skin. He stepped in after you and pulled you close to him. You relaxed into his embrace and sighed with content as he began to pour water over your head. He lathered your body, gently massaging your scalp and pouring the warm water over you. His hands traveled all over you, as if trying to memorize every inch that he’d been parted from.

“I missed you” he whispered before kissing the soft skin behind your ear.

“I missed you too” You smiled. He began to tail kisses down your neck until he reached your shoulder. With one last kiss he rested his face in the crook of your neck. You missed his touch, the scent of him so close to you. Tears began pooling around your eyes as you felt him sob quietly behind you. The bruises that covered you back were now clear as day and the sight was too much for him. Guilt ate at him, he’d abandoned you for so long. You took his hand and kissed it tenderly. At least you were together again.

You stayed like that, keeping comfort in each other until he decided you were clean enough. He stepped out of the tub to dry himself. You waited for him until he finished. With a new towel in hand, he wrapped it around your body, showering you with kisses again as he picked you up and took you towards the room. The second you relaxed into the mattress, his lips met yours again, this time, they weren’t about to part from you.

The night was filled with heated demonstrations of love towards each other. You both were starved of each other's touch, and you planned on making it up for it. Your bodies connected in ways you’d only dreamed of for a long, long time. Each one pouring all the love they could for the other.

After what seemed like an instant, the rays of the sun peeked through the curtains of his viewport. The night traveled its course behind you without any of you realizing it. Your face broke into a smile as you reveled in the glow of your lovemaking. You were with him,with your body sprawled over his. His strong hands traced gently circles down your back. Ben. He was back, and he was yours completely. He smiled down at you just as content, having you there in his arms. There was a newfound hope in his eyes. Maybe he could start new again. Just maybe, there was a new life waiting for you both.

——

Thanks for reading! :) Requests are always open

#Ben Solo #ben solo x reader #ben solo x y/n #ben solo imagine #ben solo x you #ben solo x female reader #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x female reader

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