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peachjaem00 · 9 months

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The moon to my stars

PAIRING; childhood best friend!jisung x fem reader

SYNOPSIS; jisung has been in love with you forever but kept it a secret because he was too afraid to ruin your friendship. he had to endure watching you make a life without him until one day he could not hold it any longer, he couldn’t let the moon leave his stars. or jisung being a complete and absolute simp for the reader since he was a little boy.

HONORABLE MENTIONS; twin brother! Haechan, jeno, yeji (itzy), jaemin, chenle, renjun

WC; 14.5k

THEMES; fluff, angst, pinning, friends to lovers, non idol! Jisung

WARNINGS; swearing, female reader, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood, physical fight, mentions of bruises, jealousy

AN; based on my jisung’s timelapses [01:10 pm], [12:30 am], [02:00 pm]. you don't have to read the timestamps to understand the fic.

also big shoutout to @cappujeno and @ichorai for beta reading this and for their support, this fic would have not happen if it wasn't for your help!

taglist; @sadgirlroo @shwizhies @patitotodd

He was five when he saw you for the first time.

Jisung was feeling anxious, his heart was beating fast and his hands were sweating, the movement of the car making him more nervous and the big truck behind them made him feel as if he was being chased, which only fueled his panic. His family was moving to the house in front of yours where you and Haechan were playing. You pushed your brother a little too hard, making him fall, and you laughed as a result. He couldn't stop looking at you—for some reason, you intrigued him. Maybe it was the way you helped your brother immediately right after he fell, maybe it was the way you started to console him by patting his head and fixing his hair, maybe it was the way you never stopped smiling. He still remembers what you were wearing; a light blue dress with a moon right on your chest, with white sneakers and your hair up in two pigtails. You looked adorable and he knew at that moment you had the prettiest pair of eyes.

He got out of his parent's car and the sound of the door closing was loud enough to make you look his way. You were amazed by the big moving truck and when your eyes landed on him, you waved hello. Jisung was too nervous and didn't know what to do other than hide behind his mom. After the little interaction, she took Jisung's hand and walked inside their new home—he couldn't stop looking at you even while he was being brought inside.

A few hours later a knock on the door made Jisung look up from his coloring book. It was his mom who opened the door and later on she asked Jisung to come to the entrance. He was surprised by your presence, along with your mother and your brother. Haechan looked exactly like his mom, and he was guessing you looked more like your dad.

“Jisung, these are our neighbors. They live in the house right in front of us, say hi.”

“Hey, little guy.” Your mom was the first one to talk and by seeing how nervous Jisung was she smiled.

“Hi, I'm y/n, very nice to meet you.” You extended your hand and he noticed a silver bracelet on your wrist. It looked big on you, but you didn't seem to care.

“I'm Jisung,” he said with very pink cheeks while grabbing your hand and letting it go almost immediately.

“This is my brother Donghyuck, but we call him Haechan.”

“Hey, only my friends call me that.”

“Well Jisung is our friend now, dummy.” Jisung laughed, so did his mother and yours.

“Mom! Don't laugh, say something.” Haechan furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest, Jisung noticed that he had the same bracelet as you.

“Y/n, we've talked about this.” Your mom’s stern tone made you look down.

“Yeah alright…” There was a defeated tone in your voice. “I’m sorry.”

“That was so fake.” Haechan pokes his tongue out and you copy his actions.

“Kids, behave.” It only took one look from your mother to stop the bickering between you two. “Now y/n, why don't you ask Jisung's mom the thing you wanted when you saw him earlier?”

“Oh right!” The excitement in your eyes made them look even prettier, making Jisung's heart race. “Can Jisung come play with us? I promise we will take care of him and we'll have him home before it gets dark.” You gave Jisung's mom your puppy eyes and she couldn't help but laugh at your cuteness; meanwhile, Jisung was trying to calm himself.

“I have no problem, but let's see what Jisung has to say, okay?” All eyes were on him, making him hide behind his mom once again, a habit that he does till this day.

You noticed how shy and nervous he was, so you came closer, grabbing his hand and rubbing your little thumb on his knuckles in an attempt to calm him down.

“Do you want to come and play? I promise we're nice people,” you said in the softest voice. It only took a look into your eyes to make Jisung forget about his shyness, the warmth in them was enough to make him feel safe.

“Yes.” His voice was a whisper but he knew you heard him since your smile grew wider.

“Great! Let’s go!” You pulled his hand along with your brother’s and bolted out of there with the boys following you. “Thanks Jisung's mom, I'll take good care of him, I promise!”

And that's what you did. You took care of Jisung that whole afternoon, the day after and the one after that. You kept your promise to Mrs. Park and you took care of her son up until this day.

He was 10 years old when he discovered he had a crush on you.

You and Donghyuck were going into your first year of junior high while Jisung was still in elementary school. He was distressed, to say the least. It was his first time going to school without the two of you, he felt lost and lonely. You three would walk together to school; it had been a tradition for years, at least for him but now that you were going to another school, the tradition was broken. It was a very mundane thing but seeing you first thing in the morning always lifted his mood up.

Despite moving to the neighbourhood 5 years ago, he had only managed to make 2 friends, you and your brother. He feared not making any new friends during those 2 years he had left of middle school before he could join you.

He tried fixing his tie but no matter how much he tried, it always turned out a little crooked. He let out a tired sigh and gave up. He said goodbye to his parents and then he finally grabbed his backpack to leave the house. He was surprised by your presence in his front yard. You looked so pretty in your new uniform and you no longer wore your hair up. It was longer, soft and shiny as it lapped at your shoulders, gently stirred in the breeze, the sun giving it a lighter hue. Jisung let out a sigh while admiring you.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” he asked, confused.

“I'm walking you to school, duh,” you said with an obvious tone.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? We've been walking to school together for years, Sung.”

“I know, but you go to a new school now.”

“You do know it's just around the corner, right?” you giggled while seeing his red cheeks when he realized. “And even if it was far away, I don't want you to walk to school alone. It's tradition that we do it together.”

He felt his heart racing and a certain warmth hugging him, he thought he was the only one taking it as tradition. He was so happy to find out he wasn't alone and that it wasn’t a thing that you had to do but that you also looked forward to it.

“And Haechan hyung?”

“He left earlier since he didn't want anyone to take the last seat of the central row.” You pause. “You know how he is,” you say pointedly, making the younger one laugh. “Here, let me help you.” You untied his tie and put it around your neck. Your fingers moved smoothly and before tying it completely you took it off. “Stay still.” You put the tie around the collar of his button up, you fixed it and finally you tied it up; your fingers brushed against his neck, making him feel chills, they were cold even though it was summer. “There you go.” You moved your hands and Jisung noticed your silver bracelet once again.

He found out that you and Hacehan had the same bracelet, both of your names engraved plus a little sun for Donghyuck and a little moon for you. It was a gift from your parents when you turned two. You once confessed to him that it was your biggest treasure.

“C'mon we're gonna be late.” Whilst saying that, you started walking.

You never talked much during your walks to school, but none of you cared. It was your little moment of peace before the chaos started.

“Are you nervous?” He looked at you when he heard your voice.

“Yes, very,” you chuckled, making him smile, he couldn't help himself.

“You'll be okay.”

“Yeah, I don't think so.” He lets out a nervous giggle. “It's gonna be hard without you there.”

“C’mon Jisung, you're really nice and such a good person. You just need to make the first move or keep the conversation going if someone starts one.”

“I'm terrible at it.” His tone was dejected.

“You have become much better though, Hyuck and I have taught you well. Don't tell me you have forgotten everything?” You giggled.

“No.” His voice held a panicked tone. “It’s just that, why would people want to be friends with me? I never talk.”

“Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.” Your voice was serious. “You’re loyal, funny and caring. They would be very stupid if they didn't want to be friends with you.” He noticed your anger when he looked at you.

You arrived at his school after finishing the conversation. You grabbed his hand before he could go in, making him face you.

“You're gonna be okay. Don't worry about it too much, and have fun.” You fixed his tie one last time. “I'll come for you when school is done.” And when you fix your own hair, he noticed that your bracelet fell off. “I have to go or I'll be late, see you later!” You ran off before he could say anything else.

Jisung was quick to grab the bracelet and put it in his pocket making sure it was safe before going in.

“She believes in you. You can do it, Park Jisung,” he told himself and then he went on to his first class.

School went by and it wasn't as horrible as he thought. There was a new student, who introduced himself as Chenle—he was a transfer student from China. Jisung took this as an opportunity, he went and introduced himself and helped him throughout the whole day, making sure the new kid knew where his classes were, who his teachers were etcetera… He made sure to make a good impression hoping that Chenle would want to see and talk to him again.

The last bell rang and Jisung grabbed his things. He went to his locker, put away some books and grabbed the ones that he needed. He said goodbye to Chenle and went to his school's exit.

“Jisung!” You waved your hand so he would be able to see you.

He smiled to himself and he jogged to be by your side.

“So, how was school?”

Jisung told you everything about his hopefully new friend and the way you looked at him, made his little heart race. He was so happy not only because he was able to talk to someone but because you were so proud of him. After his little ramble he asked about your day, you told him about how boring it was and how teachers were already nagging you about your twin. You also told him about your new friends and about the classes you were excited for.

“Well here we are,” you said while stopping by Jisung's house first. “See you tomorrow.” You gave him a smile and fixed your hair once again, making Jisung notice about your missing bracelet.

“Wait!” He noticed he yelled so he cleared his throat to play it off. “Here.” He reached for his pocket and got the bracelet out. “It fell this morning so I kept it with me to give it back, I know how much it means to you.”

“Oh my god, my bracelet!” You grabbed it and quickly put it on so it won't fall again. “Thank you so much! You literally saved my life.” You hugged him tightly, not being able to know how else you can express your gratitude.

When your arms surrounded Jisung, he couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy, he knew his cheeks were red and he really hoped you didn't notice how fast his heart was racing. He hugged you back and it felt nice. Your hair smelled like vanilla, your perfume like roses, you engulfed him but he didn't care, he was happy to drown in your embrace.

After breaking the hug you said goodbye once again, you thanked him and finally, you gave him a little kiss on his cheek. He watched you until you were inside your home and you closed the door; he just stood there, being dumbfounded, grabbing the cheek you pecked.

“Jisung? Aren't you coming in?” His mom snapped him out of his trance. “C’mon, food's getting cold.”

Jisung went on with his day but he couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about how cute you looked with your new uniform, or how good you looked with your long hair, or how your hug made him feel so soft and he definitely couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. That little kiss, that meaningless kiss that only showed your gratitude, that insignificant kiss that meant everything for him. His cheeks flush all over again no matter how many times he thought about it.

He was on his bed, trying to sleep, but he was wide awake, his chest heavy and his mind was empty, only you in it. He didn't understand why. Why was he thinking so much about his friend? Why did that hug feel so nice? Why did that kiss make him so flustered? Why couldn't he get you out of his mind? Or maybe he knew, maybe he had known for a while but he didn't want to admit it…

“Oh no…”

He was 15 years old when he realized he was in love with you.

It was the beginning of the second semester of Jisung’s first highschool year, he was still a freshman while you were in your junior year. You were quite popular alongside your brother, having friends in all the years, especially seniors, therefore you were always invited to the parties. This year you invited Jisung to one alongside his friend Chenle, it was his first time attending a party from upperclassmen. He was making sure his hair looked nice, and that his outfit seemed neat, he was nervous as always.

“Stop, you're gonna mess your hair even more,” Chenle said with a mocking tone.

“Oh no, my hair looks messy?” Chenle let out a big laugh by seeing his scared eyes.

“I was joking, geez.”

“You're such an asshole, you know how nervous I get when I'm with her.”

“I know, because you love her.” Chenle’s singsong tone made Jisung even angrier.

“I don't love her.”

“Oh please, yes you do! You're so in love with her, it's painful to watch, dude.”

Jisung was about to say something but he was stopped by the sound of his doorbell.

“Jisung! Y/n is here, hurry!” his mom shouted from downstairs.

They quickly grabbed their stuff and they went downstairs. He stopped midway by seeing you, being totally enamoured by the sight of you. You put makeup on, enhancing your beauty, the gloss made your lips look plumper—he could only think of how much he wanted to kiss them. You cut your hair after years of having it long, he thought you looked adorable but somehow you also looked a little more mature, as if having long hair gave you a kind of child-like aura. Your outfit was heavily planned but it seemed effortless and he smiled seeing you were wearing the jacket he gifted you for your last birthday.

“Wow,” he whispered to himself. You landed your eyes on him and his heart skipped a beat.

“C'mon Sung, Hyuck is waiting and you know how whiny he can get.” He snapped out of his trance and followed you out after saying goodbye to his mom.

“Don't worry Mrs. Park, you know I'll take good care of him.” Jisung's mom smiled. She loves the fact that you have stayed loyal to the promise you made to her 10 years ago.

As soon as you entered the car, you grabbed the aux cord and started playing one of your playlist, making your twin nag and try to steal the cord from you. You turned the volume knob so you wouldn't be able to hear him, making the younger ones laugh and your twin to stick his tongue out to you; you answered the same way, a thing you have done ever since you were little.

You sang all the way to the house, laughing at your horrible voice but you didn't care, you still sang with all of your energy. Haechan parked the car and you entered the party together, your twin was quick to disappear making Jisung nervous but when he felt your hand in his, rubbing his knuckles like you always do, he could feel his heart easing down, it also helped seeing Jaemin and Renjun. They were Haechan's friends first but since Jisung hung out with you two almost everyday, they eventually became his friends as well.

You never left Jisung's side, you know he can get really nervous whenever he's in a new social situation, and a senior party is a very wild place to be, one that you know Jisung is not really used to. You took Chenle and Jisung to the dance floor, you gave them stuff to drink -not alcohol because you know Mrs. Park would kill you-, you introduced them to your friends and you made sure they were feeling comfortable.

While you were doing all of that, Jisung couldn't stop looking at you, being so grateful to you for not leaving them; everyone noticed his heart eyes towards you but no one said anything about it, instead they planned a little something.

“Let's play spin the bottle!” Jaemin said with excitement while he shook the empty bottle in his hand.

“For real? What are we, five?” you said, mocking him.

“C'mon y/n, don't be like that, it'll be fun.” Yeji, your other best friend besides Jisung, nudged your arm and made you sit down next to her. Renjun made Jisung and Chenle sit down in front of you.

“Let 's go,” Jaemin said with a grin as he spinned the bottle.

At the end of the day you were having fun, if people weren't able to kiss they had to take a shot, seeing their faces after it made you laugh so hard; Jisung couldn't take his eyes off you.

“Okay, miss y/n, your turn.” Renjun placed the bottle in the middle and gave you a mischievous smile.

You gave the bottle a spin. Everyone was paying attention, hoping it landed on Jisung. The younger one watched the bottle spin until it stopped, everyone went quiet by seeing in who it landed.

“Guess, we have to kiss now?” you said while looking at Jeno.

“I guess we do.” He smiled and got near you.

You met him halfway and connected your lips. The kiss lasted seconds but to Jisung it seemed hours. He despised every moment of it and a sigh of relief left his lips when you two broke the kiss. He gave Jeno a death glare. He hated him and he wanted him to disappear forever. When he looked at you his heart sank. His hope was gone. He started shaking slightly out of fear. You were happy, hell, more than happy. You were thrilled. Your eyes were glowing with eagerness, they only glowed like that when you were really excited or when you were overwhelmed in the best way possible. You liked Jeno, even if you weren't aware of it yet Jisung knew because he knew you better than himself. He knew all of your mannerisms, your habits and after 10 years of friendship he was an expert at reading your eyes. It broke him knowing you were glowing because of Jeno, and not because of him.

“I have to go and get some fresh air, my head is starting to ache,” he announced. Not that many were paying attention to him anyway.

He quickly stood up and went to the backyard of the house. The party was there too, but the music wasn't as loud, and it wasn't as crowded. He found a lonely corner and he went there for a little while, thinking about why it hurt so much if it was only a little crush, a little crush that had been going strong for 5 years now.

“Oh no,” he said when it hit him. “Oh no, please no.” He massaged his temples, maybe that would help with the now real headache that was happening. “Fucking hell, why me?” He said looking up, asking the stars for an answer. “Why would you do this to me?” He looked directly at the moon who looked beautiful as always, trying to find comfort but it didn't work; she had always been helpful but that night, that night it felt as if she was mocking him and it didn't help the fact that it was in a waxing crescent. She was smiling down at him, it seemed as if she was laughing.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Ah! Fuck!” He jumped on his spot and put a hand on his chest trying to control his racing heart. “Don't do that, you scared the shit out of me!” He smacked Chenle's arm while the other tried to control his laughter.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he said in between giggles. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

“Well you stormed out of the room, and then I caught you talking to yourself outloud. I don't know how to tell you this but that's not normal dude.” The mocking tone in his voice made the younger one roll his eyes.

“I knew that.”

“As much as I love making fun of your antics, can you tell me what's wrong? Is it because y/n kissed Jeno?” Jisung stayed quiet but he didn't have to say anything, his face, especially his eyes gave away the answer. “Of course it's that.” Chenle looked up and a sigh left his lips. “It's just a stupid game Jisung, don't take it seriously.”

“No, you don't know her like I do, you didn't notice but it meant more to her, it was more than just a stupid kiss to her.” He looked down and his hand found its way to his eyes, in an attempt to stop the tears from coming down. “You couldn't see it but her eyes screamed with excitement. Ugh! This is bad! This is terrible!” His hands proceeded to pass through his hair, messing it up but at this point, the boy didn't care if it was messy or not.

“Oh, c'mon dude, calm down.”

“I can't because you were right.”

“About what?”

“I do love her.”

“What?” The confusion was evident in his face, but then it hit him. “Holy shit! Are you for real? Bro I was joking, like I knew you had a big crush on her but I never thought it was this serious.”

“Yeah, I thought so too but seeing her kiss Jeno.” He rubbed his eyes and then he let out a tired sigh. “It made me so angry? No, is not that. Sad?”

“Disappointed,” Chenle finished his sentence. He always knew what Jisung meant even when Jisung himself couldn’t find the right word.

“Yeah. I felt my heart sink, it broke me a little.”

“Shit, dude.”

“I know.” He leaned on the wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor.

Chenle sat down by his side, he sneaked his arm around Jisung's shoulders and patted him softly, trying to comfort his friend.

“Tell her.”

“What?”

“About how you feel.”

“Are you stupid? No way, she will never feel the same. She only sees me as her neighbour.”

“Oh, c'mon, you know that's not true. She hates it when you say that, you're her friend.”

“Exactly, we're friends, I don't want to ruin that.”

“What makes you so sure it will ruin your friendship?”

“Because she won't reciprocate my feelings and then it will be awkward and little by little, we will drift apart and I don't want that, I can't have that.” He was exhausted.

“It will be okay dude.” Chenle hugged him.

“No it won't.” He looked up once again.

The moon was no longer mocking him, she was inconsolable. She knew how heartbroken the boy was and it made her angry not knowing how to comfort him. She had been helpful towards the boy for years now, always making him feel safe whenever he sought calmness, but tonight she cried alongside him.

He was 16 years old when he got in a fight.

You and Jeno were going strong, almost a year has passed since that party and 10 months since you started dating.

He hated every single second of it. It broke him having to hear you talk about how dreamy he was, and how he's the best boyfriend and the worst thing is that he wanted to hate him, but he couldn't. He made you so happy, and that was what mattered. He suffered but seeing your smile was worth all the pain.

Your graduation was coming, meaning prom was just around the corner. Of course you got Jisung and Chenle tickets, you wanted to spend the night with the people closest to you. It was going to be the perfect night, you made sure of it. In fact the only reason why you wanted to be president of the student council was to have full control of prom night; no one was going to ruin your special night.

You ran down the stairs the second you heard the ringbell. You opened the door and Jisung was there, waiting for you.

“Jesus, Jisung, hurry up!” You dragged him inside by his arm, making him lose his balance and almost falling. “We don't have much time!” He straightened his position and acted as if nothing happened.

“Isn't it at like 9?” he asked, confused.

“Yeah, so what?”

“Y/n, it's 2pm, I think we have plenty of time.” There was a mocking tone in his voice, making you death glare at him, his smile disappeared in seconds.

“We have to go pick up your suit and Hyuck's, then my dress, then I have to come back here to drop both of you off, then I have to go to my hair and makeup appointment and then come back once again to finish getting ready, plus I have to be like an hour early since I'm the president.”

“Why do you have to drop us off? We'll go with you.”

“Really? You don't mind?”

“Not at all, it'll save us lots of time.”

“Thank you.” Your eyes were soft and the gratitude was evident in your tone. “Okay then let's go. Lee Donghyuck get your ass down now!” Jisung covered his ears, he didn't expect that scream. “Shit, sorry.” You laughed, making him smile.

“Dude, don't scream!” Haechan made an act of presence. “I'm here, don't get all crazy, geez.”

“Stop whining and get your ass moving.” And it only took one glare to make him silent and obedient.

You may look like your dad but you had the same glare as your mom, making your brother very scared of you. This always made Jisung laugh, he never gets to see Haechan like this, so it's a treasure when he witnesses it.

“What are you laughing about? Move!” you said with a stern tone.

“Yes, ma'am.” He saluted and finally got out of the house.

Both of you were halfway to the car when you noticed Haechan was still at the entrance, picking up the mail.

“Hyuck, it's not the time! Move!”

“It has the logo of The University of Sydney.” He showed a medium size envelope. “This is it y/n.” The colour left your face, your heart dropped to your stomach, you started shaking and your legs went limp.

You went on a family vacation to Australia a few years ago and you loved every second of it. You automatically fell in love with Sydney and when you visited the university's campus with your brother you knew you had to attend that school. It had the best program for you, the classes were amazing with very famous professors. It was your perfect school.

Inside that envelope was the answer to your future. It stated if you were accepted into your dream college or if you were rejected; only the thought of not being able to go made you dizzy. You lost your balance but thank god for Jisung who was fast enough to catch you.

“I can't, you do it.” You looked at your brother with pleading eyes. Your lips and throat went dry, making your voice sound out a little broken.

“No fucking way!” Haechan refused immediately and got closer to Jisung. “You do it.” He handed him the envelope and Jisung was hesitant to take it.

“I don't know if I should.”

“Please, for me? I can't bring myself to do it, Sung.” He looked at you and he melted; your eyes were literally begging him, how could he say no?

“Fine.” He let go of you with delicacy and grabbed the envelope.

He opened it and took out the letter slowly, afraid that it might rip if he hurried. All eyes were on him while he read the inside, no one could decipher what it said, his face was expressionless. Jisung read it slowly, making sure to comprehend what it said, to save himself the confusion and a possible breakdown from you if he said anything wrong. It's been only a few minutes but to everyone it felt like hours, you wanted to know but at the same time you didn't. You can't be rejected if you never knew the contents of the letter, right? Your brother, on the other hand, was impatient.

“Say something already!” He startled everyone with his loud scream.

Jisung looked at you with a little smile on his lips. He didn't have to say anything, you knew by looking into his eyes that everything was okay. You laughed and your eyes started to water and you were quick to engulf the younger one in your embrace. He held you close, savouring the moment since it may be one of the lasts for a long time.

��Why are you hugging? Holy shit y/n, are you crying? What's going on?!”

“She got in.” The look on his eyes was filled with pride and happiness.

He knew how hard you worked for this. He was there pulling all nighters by your side, being your number one hype man, having your back in the highs and lows. Jisung was there for you throughout the whole journey and to be honest, you couldn't imagine anyone else by your side, you were glad it was him.

“Holy shit!” Your brother took you in his arms and hugged you, while making you jump and spin around together. “I'm so proud of you! You're going abroad! You're gonna live by yourself! You're getting everything you’ve always dreamed of!”

“I know!” You match your brother's excited tone. “I gotta tell Jeno.” And just like that, Jisung's smile disappeared. Good for him that you didn't notice.

After telling Jeno, your parents and Jisung's parents you finally went on with your day, and the busy schedule that you had ahead.

After picking up the suits you went to pick up your dress. It was beautiful, a midnight blue dress with a subtle glitter to it, making it look like the night sky, it was backless and it had spaghetti straps. You didn't know this but Jisung convinced your mom to tell him the colour of your dress so he could buy the same colour tie. He wasn't going to be your date, but the least he wanted was to match. Then it was the hair and makeup appointment, Jisung and Haechan went to a nearby cafe to kill time while they waited for you, it was going to take a while.

“How are you feeling?” he asked your brother when they're sitting down with some coffee and pastries.

“A little bored but you know once we arrive at the party I'll be the star of the night.” A smirk on his lips, making the younger one laugh.

“I meant, how do you feel knowing she's going away?” Haechan's smile disappeared and his eyes lost their playful glint.

“I'm happy for her.” He meant it but his voice had a bitter tone.

“Come on dude, it's me.” Haechan looked at him and found comfort in his eyes. In that moment he finally realised why you always did it, Jisung had the ability to let everyone feel at ease just by looking into his eyes.

He lets out a sigh before speaking.

“I'm happy for her, I really am but…” He played with the spoon of his drink, to calm his nerves. “I'm really gonna miss her…”

“Yeah, me too.”

“No, Jisung you don't get it.” His tone was quickly changed for a serious one, his eyes went from sorrow to anger in a matter of seconds and his jaw tensed. “She has been by my side literally my whole life, she's my other half… We're the sun and the moon… How am I going to live without her here with me?”

“Hey, it'll be okay, it's not like she's gone forever.” The younger one talked with his softest voice. “She's gonna visit and you know she'll come back. She will never leave you behind, at the end of the day, you are her other half as well.”

“Yeah I guess…” He finally looked up from his drink. “Thanks, Jisung.”

“No problem.” He gave him a smile which was reciprocated quickly and Haechan's eyes came back to being soft and happy again.

A little while went by when you appeared at the coffee shop all dolled up. You looked beautiful; your hair was styled making your face look even prettier and the make up was perfect, it accentuated your features. Jisung couldn't take his eyes off of you. He was hypnotised, and being honest, he didn't want to be freed from your spell.

“Holy shit dude,” your brother let out. “You look really pretty.”

“Wow, you really mean that?” The nervousness was evident in your voice.

You weren't really sure about your makeup, you felt as if it was too much, and it made you feel a little insecure. The shades of colour that the woman picked weren't exactly in your comfort zone but you trusted her because at the end of the day, she was the expert.

“Hundred percent! You look stunning! Right, Jisung?” He elbowed the younger one, trying to find support from him.

Jisung was caught off guard since he was paying his undying attention to you. He snapped out of it and he went silent for a second. His cheeks were red, his mouth went dry and his hands were slightly shaking.

“Yes, you look stunning.” His voice was almost nonexistent, he was afraid you weren't able to hear him but the smile on your face and the slight blush creeping up gave it away.

“Thanks, Sungie.” The softness in your voice made him lightheaded. “Let's move, we still have to go home and finish.”

The way back home was fun. You had the best taste in music and a talent of always picking the perfect songs for the right moment. The vibes were never off when you were the one in control of the music.

When you arrived everyone went to their respective homes, you gave them until 7:45 to be ready or else you would leave without them, your glare made them both know you were dead serious.

Jisung was in his room, he already had his suit on and once again he was struggling with his tie, he never got the hang of it. After failing for the fifth time he let out a tired sigh and went to his mom. He peeped his head into his parents room and found his mom in her bed reading a book. His dad was nowhere to be seen since he was out on a business trip.

“What's up Jisung?” She didn't even have to look up, she felt her son's presence in a second.

“Can you help me with my tie?” He was a little embarrassed when it hit him. He was a 16 year old boy who still needed help from his mom. It was quite adorable, really.

“Of course, baby.” Her mocking tone made his cheeks get redder.

“Ugh mom!” She laughed by hearing his whining and that made him smile.

She got up and went closer to her son. She made the knot smoothly. Jisung was amazed with the fastness and how easy she made it look. His mom fixed his tie, then his collar and finally his blazer. He looked dashing, his hair was styled away from his forehead and she was proud knowing it was all his doing.

“You look so handsome.”

“Thanks, mom.” The shyness was evident in his voice and he scratched the nape of his neck.

“So…”

“So… ?” he asked, confused.

“Is this the night?”

“The night of what?”

“The night you confess your feelings for y/n?”

“Oh my god, mom!” He was sick and tired of hearing this.

His mom found out about his crush on you even before he even realised, and she has insisted her son to confess for years now. She rooted for you knowing how enamoured he was, she also knew you had certain feelings for him, even though you weren't aware, moms always know best.

“What?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, looking at her son in an accusatory way.

“She has a boyfriend, and she’s going away soon. Why even bother?”

“You have loved her for years Jisung, how much longer can you keep this a secret?”

“As long as necessary.” His serious tone made her mom sighed. “It's her night, I don't want to ruin it.”

“Fine.” He noticed the sadness in her eyes and he was quick to hug her.

“It's okay mom, I'm okay,” he whispered and his mom tightened the hug.

“Go, or you'll be late.”

He broke the embrace, he gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek and he finally got out. He went back to his room and checked himself on the mirror one last time. He fixed a stray hair, he put on some rings, his watch (which you gifted him), a necklace and then he covered himself with some perfume (one that he knew was your favourite). He said goodbye to his mom and got out of the house.

He was surprised by the presence of Jeno at your entrance, and he was even more surprised seeing him hesitating on whether he should knock or not.

“Hey,” he said, startling the older one. Fuck, he looked good.

“Jisung, hey.” Jisung did not miss the nervous tone and his eyes were shaking, something was off with Lee Jeno, and he was going to discover what. “You look good.”

“Thanks, you too.” It hurt him saying that, knowing damn well you were gonna fall all over again for your boyfriend. “C'mon, let's get inside.” He just opened the door. It wasn't a surprise, Jisung has been coming here since he was five, it's his second home.

“I'm here!” he announced his presence so no one worries. “Jeno hyung is here too.”

“How did you get in?” Haechan was fixing his tie while coming down the stairs and he looked at Jeno confused.

“Jisung.” Jeno pointed at the younger one

“You gotta stop doing that dude,” he laughed while finally standing beside his friends.

“I will when you stop doing the same at my house.” The younger one said in a challenging manner.

“Okay fine, you win.” Haechan lifted his hands up in a sign of defeat.

“You're ready to go?” Your voice made the three guys turn their heads.

Every single one of them went silent by the sight of you. You looked absolutely stunning. The dress fitted your body in all the right places as if it was meant to be worn by you and it made your moles visible making your skin look like a starry night. The make up was perfect and your hair was also perfect, you looked perfect. Jisung's heart was racing and he was sure everyone could hear it, he couldn't take his eyes off of you, his mouth was dry and his hands were clammy.

“Wow!” Jeno was the first one to break the silence. “Holy fuck, you look stunning! I can't believe this gorgeous woman is mine!” You could feel the heat come to your face, your smile was wide and the shyness was very evident.

“Stop!” You hid your face.

“Hey don't do that, people deserve to see your beauty.” Jeno took your hands off and he let out a sigh. “Fuck,” he whispered, he cupped your cheeks with his hands and then he kissed you.

Jisung looked away with teary eyes, oh how he wished that was him.

“Sorry, I couldn't help myself,” Jeno said after breaking the kiss.

“It's okay,” you whispered. Your cheeks were on fire and your eyes were shining like a galaxy.

“Okay love birds, it's time to go.” Haechan was the first to speak after that scene. “C'mon, y/n! You were hurrying us before, move!”

“I'll kill you Hyuck.” Your voice was serious and once again, your brother lifted his hands up.

“Sorry.” And then he got out of the house.

Jeno followed him out and you were left with Jisung. You looked at him and frowned by seeing his teary eyes.

“Hey, Sung.” You came closer to him, you grabbed his hand and started caressing his knuckles with your thumb, like you always do. “What 's wrong?”

“Sorry it's just that, you look so pretty.” It may have been a half-assed lie but as long as you're happy. “And I'm happy I get to be with you during this night.”

“Of course.” Your voice was soft and your touch was delicate. “You're my best friend, of course I wanted you here, with me, during this very important night.” He let out a sad giggle. “C'mon let's go.” You didn't let go of his hand throughout the whole ride to prom.

When you arrived, Haechan and Jisung went to the gym to kill time while you made sure everything was perfect, Jeno went with you. Jisung couldn't stop looking at the both of you; you looked perfect and he loved seeing you in your president role, but Jeno, Jeno looked nervous. He followed you everywhere but he did it silently, he wasn't by your side, holding your waist like he usually does but instead he was behind you. He noticed how he was spacing out, in all this time knowing Jeno, he has never been caught off guard.

Time passed by and the party finally started. You were at the door receiving and greeting everyone while your friends and brother danced together but after a while you decided it was time to drop formalities and have fun, so you went with your friends and started dancing.

After a while you were called, it was time to announce the prom king and queen. You excused yourself and went backstage to prepare everything and made sure everything was perfect. You went up on stage, grabbed a microphone and asked for the band to turn it down a bit, making everyone whine a little but the moment they saw you up stage they knew what was happening.

“Hello everyone, are you having a good time?” The crowd answered with whoops of excitement, which made your smile grow wider. “I'm glad to hear you're having fun. Well it's that time of the night.” You showed the envelope that was in your hands and the screams were louder this time. “Inside this envelope are the names of your next prom king and queen, are you ready?”

“Yes!” everyone answered in unison, making you laugh.

“Your prom king is…” You stopped to make a pause to build up the excitement. It also bought you a little time to open the envelope. You smile by reading the name in the piece of paper, feeling proud. “Lee Jeno!” Everyone shouted and started congratulating Jeno while he walked towards the stage.

You gave him the ribbon that said “Prom King”, a little sceptre and you finally placed the crown on his head. You congratulated him and kissed him, not caring about all the viewers.

“Okay now, the title that actually matters.” People laughed once again, making you feel a little proud, you have rehearsed that line for a month now. “And your prom queen is…” The drummer made a drum roll to build up tension and for you to read the words on the piece of paper. You smile once again. “Hwang Yeji!”

Your best friend was shocked, she didn't expect it, making the moment more genuine. Jaemin, her date, walked her through the crowd and helped her up on stage since she was still in shock. You put on the ribbon and gave her the sceptre. After crowning her you hugged her tightly.

“Congratulations babe, I'm so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” She broke the hug and waved at the audience, making them shout even louder for her.

“Okay now it's time for the king and queen's waltz so please clear the dance floor.”

People moved and the centre of the dance floor was empty. Jeno, Yeji and you got off of stage, you were quick to move aside, giving your boyfriend and friend the space so they could go and dance. You were puzzled by seeing them coming towards you and Jaemin.

“Actually.” Jeno extended his hand towards you while Yeji and Jaemin went together to the dance floor. “Will you grant me this dance, beautiful lady?”

“But you're supposed to dance with the queen, I'm not the queen.” Even though you're giving him reasons not to, you took his hand, and you let him guide you to join your friends.

“You are my queen.” You couldn't help but feel your cheeks warm. “And besides, I really doubt people will say something about it, at the end of the day, I'm the king, and you're their president.” You both laughed and finally made it to the centre of the dance floor.

You looked like the perfect couple to everyone that was watching. You and Jeno were described by your classmates as the perfect match, or a match made in heaven. To everyone, you were meant to be.

Jisung watched you from afar, being overwhelmed by all his emotions. He was admiring you and at the same time he was being jealous of Jeno, he couldn't help but feel all his love for you overflowing his heart while all of his rage went towards Jeno. He felt so happy for you, seeing that you're enjoying the night but he despised the fact that you weren't with him. And he hated himself, he hated himself for being a coward and not telling you about his feelings, because now he is suffering the consequences. It was easy for him when you were single because in a way, he still had a chance, but when you got together with Jeno, all the hope he had (which wasn't much) was gone, crushed.

He couldn't bear to look at you two anymore so he ran off out of there. He couldn't see how Jeno came close to your ear and asked you to go and talk outside. Jisung went into the first classroom, the tears were falling by themselves, he wanted them to stop but it was pointless, his heart was way too broken, the only thing it could do to fix itself was crying. His vision was blurry because of the tears so he didn't see you and Jeno coming in. He was on the other side of the room and the lights were off so he was almost invisible, neither Jeno or you noticed the younger one. Jisung hid himself when he heard the door being closed.

“What did you want to talk about?” He froze even more on his spot by hearing your voice. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop someone's conversation but it was you.

“It's about you leaving.” Jeno's voice was really low, Jisung could barely hear it. “You know how we talked about it at the start of our relationship, you said if I felt comfortable with it we could try long distance.”

“Yeah?” Your tone was worried, Jisung could picture you perfectly, fidgeting with your bracelet.

“I don't think I can do it.” You could hear the pain in Jeno's voice and so did Jisung, even though he didn't like him, he empathized with him.

“I mean I told you about it today, and I'm not leaving until like 2 months, we can talk about it and figure it out. Think about it, please.” The pleading in your voice made Jisung sneak a peek.

You were holding Jeno's hands, your eyes were begging him and it made him furious. You should never be begging anyone to stay with you. To him, you deserve the best of the best. The rage was pooling inside of him, he almost came out and confronted Jeno.

“The thing is that I have, ever since you told me you were planning on going away I've been thinking about it. I tried y/n, I really tried but I can't.” Jisung noticed your eyes watering, his hands were in fists to the point where his knuckles were white. “I love you so much but not enough to wait for you.” In that moment you could feel your heart break, the tears streamed down automatically. Jisung couldn't contain himself anymore and he came out.

“You fucking asshole!” And after that he punched Jeno in the face, making his lip bleed. “How fucking dare you!?” And another, he could hear your screaming but he was blinded by rage. “You don't love her enough!? Then you never loved her in the first place!” And another, and another and another.

“Jisung, stop! Are you insane!?” You tried to grab him but it was useless.

Jeno was taken back at first but when the surprise passed he grabbed Jisung's hand and then he hit him back, so the fight started being reciprocated.

Jisung had the advantage since Jeno was surprised by the attack but as soon as the older one gained consciousness, Jisung started to get in trouble. Of course he knew Jeno was stronger and better, but he didn't care, he was furious. Jeno didn't appreciate you enough to try, he didn't realise how lucky he was for having you by his side, he wasn't willing to sacrifice for you the way he was. Because Jisung would do anything if it meant being by your side.

“Stop! Stop it!” You somehow got a grip on Jeno's arm and yanked him away from Jisung. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?! Are you animals!?” You were furious, Jisung has known you for years and he has never seen you this angry.

Jisung was trying to regulate his breathing as well as Jeno, none of them dared to look at you. But, you looked at both of them, feeling disappointed and heartbroken. You looked at Jisung, his nose was bleeding, his right eye started to get black and his left eyebrow was also bleeding; you looked at Jeno, his lip was bleeding and his cheekbone was red. You let out a sigh before speaking.

“Jeno, I think you should leave.” He looked at you in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Do I look like I'm fucking kidding?” Your tone was stone cold, you have never spoken like that to him before, and it affected him. In that moment he realised how much he has hurt you.

He got up and left, none of you noticed but his eyes started to water and when he closed the door, his tears were mixing with the blood.

You broke down after seeing him leave. You couldn't hold it anymore and you just let go. You covered your mouth trying to keep it as silent as possible. You knew there was a big possibility that you and Jeno would break up if you were accepted, but you never thought Jeno would say that to you. “I love you but not enough…” It would have hurt less if he just said he hated you.

“Y/n,” Jisung said in the softest voice while he got closer to you.

“Shut up.” Your voice was broken but the anger was very noticeable. “I am furious at you so shut the fuck up and get your ass to the infirmary.” You didn't move, therefore he didn't. “Now!”

He obeyed immediately and started his way. You just needed a little time alone to get yourself together, a lot happened in a span of 10 minutes. Your boyfriend broke up with you and told you that he didn't love you enough, you're best friend heard all of it which was humiliating enough by itself, the last thing you wanted was for someone else to know; your best friend started a fight with your now ex-boyfriend and now he was on his way towards the infirmary so you could cure his wounds. Not exactly the plans you had for your prom night. You let out a last sigh, you wiped your tears away and you got out of there.

Jisung perked up in his position when he saw the door being opened and his cheeks got redder by seeing you walk in. You didn't say anything, you just went to get the stuff you needed to cure him. He looked at every move you did, he was angry at himself for causing such a scene on your prom night but he didn't regret it; if he had to, he would do it again, as many times as necessary.

He hissed when he felt the cotton swab on his injury.

“Does it hurt?” you asked in a low tone, but it was expressionless.

“It stings a little.”

“Good.”

“That's mean,” he whispered but you heard.

“I'm sorry, I'm just really mad.” He lowered his head but you made him look up again since you were treating his eyebrow's cut. “What the fuck were you thinking Park Jisung?”

“I wasn't, that's the thing.”

“What were you doing there anyway?” He panicked for a second.

“I got a little overwhelmed, I needed some air I guess.” He hated lying to you but he needed to.

“Why did you hit him?”

“Because of what he said.” His voice turns deeper, surprising you. His voice was deep but you have never heard it reach that tone. “How could he say that? He didn't know he was the luckiest guy for having you by his side, it made me furious hearing how ungrateful he was, and how much of an asshole he was to you.” You stopped treating his injury but he didn't seem to mind. “What he said was awful but when I saw how hurt you were, I couldn't let him get away like that, rage took over me.” He finally looked at you.

You tried to fight back the smile that was trying to come out by seeing how soft his eyes were, they were holding the whole galaxy, and for him they did, since he was looking at you.

“I know it was stupid since Jeno is way stronger than me but I didn't care, he hurt you and I needed to do something about it.” You hold his hands and you rub your thumb through his knuckles, he smiled while looking at the little action. “I am sorry for ruining your night but I don't regret it.”

“You don't?”

“No.”

“You're a dumbass, you know that right?”

“That 's mean.”

“Well I get to be mean.” You continued cleaning his wounds. “I'm stuck here with you instead of enjoying my prom night.”

“I'm sorry.” He lowered his head once again, his voice was full of shame and his cheeks turned red.

“Hey, I'm kidding.” You giggled softly while lifting his head up. “It was already ruined when Jeno decided to break up with me. Which was a very dick move of his, he could've at least waited for tomorrow to do it.” You giggled.

“Asshole,” Jisung said automatically, making you laugh even harder.

You finished cleaning his eyebrow wound and put on some ointment for the soreness and to help with the bruising. You then continued with the one on his lower lip. His usually plumped lip was even more swollen and it was starting to turn a subtle shade of blue and purple. He hissed once again by feeling the cotton swab with alcohol but you seemed to not care, you just focused on cleaning.

“Thank you, by the way,” you said after a while. “I'm still mad as fuck but thank you for defending me like that.” He looked at you and he fell in love all over again.

The lights of the room were off because you didn't need them, the windows did a perfect job at bringing the light from the moon and the lamp posts from outside. The moonlight hit your face in all the right places, making you look ethereal and even though you have been dancing all night and you cried, your makeup and hair were almost intact; a little out of place but you still looked as beautiful as the start of the night. Jisung could notice the anger in your eyes but he also noticed the worry, no matter how furious you were you couldn't help but worry about him.

He didn't realise what he was doing. For the second time that night, Jisung was moving out of instinct, his heart taking control instead of his brain. He got closer and closer towards you, his lips being pulled automatically towards yours as if they were magnets. And then he kissed you. It was quick and innocent, his lips barely touched yours since he snapped out of his trance but he kissed you.

Both of you were surprised, none of you knew what happened exactly. You could feel the heat coming up to your cheeks and your eyes were wide open. Jisung's heart was racing at a very concerning speed and his head was spinning. He tried to talk, tried to explain but nothing was coming out of his lips.

“Sorry, I lost my balance for a sec, maybe Jeno hit me in the head because I kind of feel a little dizzy.” He faced palmed himself in his imagination, what a shitty excuse but he couldn't come up with something better.

“Oh,” was the only thing that you could say. “No worries.”

After that you finished treating his wounds in dead silence. Jisung was cursing himself in his head. You didn't know what to think exactly, but you knew one thing for sure, you were tired.

Once you were done you came back to the gym and picked your things. You explained the situation to Yeji and begged her no to tell your brother since you knew he would cause a scene, and you didn't want to deal with that, you didn't want to deal with anything anymore. She hugged you and told you she was gonna take care of everything for you, and then she kissed your forehead before saying goodbye. After that you went to your brother to ask him for the keys, you used the tired excuse and he gave in, not because he believed you but because he was having way too much fun to care. You envied him, you envied everyone who was having fun.

When you got out of the gym you were surprised to see Jisung waiting for you by the car. He was leaning on it, his tie was loose, he took the jacket off and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, he looked pretty handsome.

“What are you doing?” You unlocked the car and opened the door.

“I'm going with you,” he says with an obvious tone.

“C'mon Jisung, go back inside and have fun.”

“I don't want to go inside, I want to spend the night with you, like you wanted.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said you wanted to spend the night with the people you're closest to, and not to toot my own horn but, I'm pretty sure that after Haechan hyung, I'm the one closest to you.” You laughed at his antics.

“Okay fine, you win. Get inside.”

“Yes!” He put his fist up in a sign of victory and got inside.

The drive back home was calm. The music was lower than you typically play it, the windows were down and the air was chilly but you didn't care. You stopped at a red light and turned your head towards the younger boy, he was looking out the window. Maybe your night was ruined but seeing him by your side, admiring the night sky while softly singing the songs made you realise you couldn't have asked for a better ending to the night.

He was 18 year old when he entered university

It was the first time Jisung was walking alone to school ever since he was 5. You’re studying abroad, Haechan had a different schedule than him and Chenle lived in a whole other neighbourhood, which was closer to the school.

He felt alone and lost, he had ever since he said goodbye to you at the airport. You were gone and he didn't know what to do. He tried to distract himself, he started saying yes to everything Chenle had invited him to and he also hung out with Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan. He tried to avoid your house though, it hurt even seeing it from across the street knowing damn well you weren't there.

After the prom, everything was really weird. Jeno had broken up with you, so you weren't the happiest and there was a weird air between you two after the kiss that had happened. It was merely a peck but it happened and it made Jisung act even more nervous around you and it made you confused.

You didn't know how to feel, you didn't know what to think exactly. Was it really just a mistake? Did he mean to kiss you? Was it just the heat of the moment? Your head spinned for months. You were so confused, you found comfort knowing you were leaving soon. Away from all the drama and confusion.

You kept to yourself the rest of the time you had left at home, focusing on packing and making sure you had everything for your visa and other stuff you needed for school, also hiding the stuff you didn't want your twin to take once you were gone. You barely saw anyone, you never left your room unless it was really necessary; even your own family barely saw you and they lived with you. You were breaking Jisung´s heart without knowing, the younger one just wanted to spend as much time as he could with you but he loved you, and he was gonna respect your wish for privacy.

You and Jisung were barely speaking. You used university as an excuse but he knew it was something else and he didn't blame you. You were desolate because of Jeno, hell, you were heartbroken and he knew the last thing you needed was another boy to mess with your feelings (not that he would). You also had to focus on your school and he didn't want to admit it but he knew his actions on that prom night confused you and he hated himself for it. The last thing he wanted was for things to be awkward between you two, he just wanted to be with you and he missed you like crazy; your absence really took a toll on him.

You weren't able to come home during your winter and summer break, you joined too many clubs and you also joined the student council at your university; saying you were busy was nothing, you were swamped with work. You did this on purpose though, you made yourself as busy as possible so you wouldn't have to deal with your thoughts, so you wouldn't have to face your feelings and to deal with the storm happening in your head. You may not be aware of it but Jisung knew, at the end of the day, he knew you better than anyone else.

He was halfway through his walk to university when his phone rang and he was surprised by seeing your picture on the screen, you were calling him. It was weird since you weren't speaking that much and because you hate talking on the phone so much, you prefer texting people; you only called when it was urgent or an emergency.

“Hey, Sungie.” Your voice made his heart race and he was smiling, he was so happy to hear your voice he almost cried.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He was happy but he couldn't help but worry.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?”

“Well, you hate talking on the phone, so I thought something was wrong.” He laughed softly.

“Everything's fine, don't worry about it.” Your voice was soft but he could hear the tiredness in your tone. “Are you on your way to school right?”

“Yeah… How did you know that?” He didn't tell you about his first day, the only uni talk he has had with you was when he told you he got in, and that was it.

“Your mom called me.” He rolled his eyes by the mention of his mom.

“Of course she did.” His tone was filled with annoyance and you laughed because of it.

“Hey, give her a break, she was excited and so proud of you.”

“Still, she didn't have to worry you about it.”

“It's nothing Jisung really, I enjoyed talking to her a lot, especially since we haven't been talking that much.”

“Sorry.” He looked down and his face was filled with disappointment.

“If someone has to apologise it's me, I’m the one who has been M.I.A.”

“But I haven't made so much effort either. I wanted to give you some space.”

“Yeah I know. Thanks...” Your tone fell flat near the end, you were disappointed as well. You didn't want space, not from him at least.

“Why are you calling though? You never call.”

“Oh, yeah, well…I wanted to keep the tradition going somehow.” You let out a nervous laugh and even though he couldn't see you, he knew you were fidgeting with your bracelet. “I didn't want you to walk to school alone.”

“I'm really thankful, but don't you have classes? If you're skipping them I swear I’ll go to Australia myself and get your ass back to class.”

“Woah woah! Easy there tiger.” Your laughter made his heart race. “I have a free period, I'm actually getting some coffee.”

“Oh okay, good.” His cheeks turned a very bright shade of red and this was the first time he thanked the moon you weren't there to see his embarrassment.

An awkward silence fell upon you. This has never happened, not even when you were kids and meeting for the first time. You always made sure to fill in the silence but now, you didn't know how to. You hated this, you hated feeling awkward with your own best friend, the guy that you had known for 13 years.

You cursed yourself and him as well. How did you allow stuff to get so complicated? Why did he have to kiss you? You broke your head for several months trying to decipher what the hell was that. It was the only thing you could think of after that night. Not your break up, not your prom, not the fight but that stupid kiss, that stupid kiss that could barely even be considered one. Jisung only touched your lips for a mere second but it scarred you for life. You didn't know why, but that kiss meant a lot to you.

And why on earth were you glad he did? You thought about how much you wished that kiss didn’t happen but being honest, you liked it, a lot, more than you should’ve. You may be in a weird place with your best friend but if you could erase that peck you wouldn’t.

“I hate this, Sung,” you said, referring to the mess happening in your head. “I hate not being able to talk to you.” Your eyes were starting to fill with tears, thank god your voice was still stable. “I want you back, I want my best friend back, my partner, my favourite person.”

“I'm your favourite person?” He was taken back and in shock, he always thought Haechan was your favourite person, your twin, your other half, your sun.

“You’ve always been.” A tear streamed down your cheek but you were quick to wipe it. “I need you Jisung, I miss you like crazy, I want to be with you and be able to talk the way we used to. You have no idea how much I need you to hug me.” And finally your voice failed you. Jisung’s heart sank by hearing your voice break.

“Me too, you can't even begin to imagine.” He blinked rapidly trying to avoid the tears to escape his eyes.

“How did we let this happen?”

“I don't know.”

“We promised nothing was gonna change after me leaving.”

“I know.”

“Then why is everything different?”

“Because…” He wanted to tell you, he wanted to confess but the words got stuck once again. He didn't want to do it like that, during a phone call while you were kilometres away. “We're dumb?” Your laughter made the ambience lighter.

“Yes, we’re very, very dumb.” You wiped a few tears away and cleared your throat. “Let's start being smart again.”

“How?”

“We’re gonna try talking more, send a text once in a while, whenever we remember each other, like we used to.”

“Okay.”

“We could also do homework together, we could schedule a weekly video call so we can catch up, talk about our life or not talk at all.”

“I really miss you recommending songs to me,” he confessed.

“I really miss you sending me pics of the moon.” You laughed once again, making the younger one sigh heavily, he was completely enamoured by you.

“I missed your laugh.” It was a bold move from him but he felt he was gonna explode if he didn't say it.

Your cheeks were warm and you hid them with your hands even though he wasn't there. He made you feel shy, which was very rare.

“I missed your voice, is it getting deeper?”

“I don't think so.”

“It better not or else I'll lose my mind.”

“Why?” he asked curiously.

“Well you know how much of a sucker I am for a dude with a deep voice…” The verbal vomit came out by itself, you weren't aware of what you were saying until you heard nothing from the other line. “Damn, I fucked up,” you whispered but he heard you.

“No, no, it's okay, I knew that.” He cleared his throat in an attempt to calm his nervousness. “I'm sorry but it's something I can't control, you’ll just have to deal with it.” His mocking tone filled you with relief.

“I’ll try my best, but I don't make any promises.” You followed his joke up, thanking him for not making it weird again.

“I'm here,” he announced when he arrived at his school’s entrance.

“Good luck Sungie, remember that anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.”

“Thank you.” He smiled and looked down trying to hide his blush.

“Let me know when you're done so we can talk on your way back home, okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“I mean it, Jisung.” The seriousness in your tone gave you away.

“I know.” He let out a few giggles. “Thank you for calling me.”

“Well, you know how I am, I love our little traditions.”

“I love that you do.”

“Bye Sung, good luck.”

“Bye y/n.” And after that you hung up.

He felt a weight being lifted away from his shoulders, his heart felt lighter and he was beyond happy knowing that you two were going to be okay. It may not be exactly like it used to but it was better than nothing.

He was 19 years old when he confessed his love towards you.

After that call on his first day of university, your relationship started blooming again. You both kept your promises and started texting and calling each other more and more, just like the old times. You made several video calls where you would talk for hours, from dusk till dawn or you would stay quiet and just enjoyed each other's presence. Jisung always sent you pictures of the moon and you started sending him songs that you thought he would like, you even started making him several playlists; he always listened to them on repeat.

Winter break came and you were finally able to go back home, you noticed how much you loaded yourself with work to avoid the whole Jisung situation but since you two were fine now, you gave yourself a break. Everyone was head over heels when you told them you were coming back home after a while of not being able to. You longed to spend christmas and new years with your family but especially with Jisung, since this was the year he would finally reach age, he would be able to drink and you wanted to be there.

Your parents picked you up at the airport, both ran towards you and engulfed you in a big hug, a suffocating one actually. After a very emotional welcome from them, you finally went up to the car and made your way home. Haechan received you at the door and your father announced to you that Jisung was also there, your eyes lighted up and you were quickly to look for him, only to find him standing there waiting for you. You were surprised by looking at how much he grew, and when he spoke you felt your legs wobbling slightly by hearing his deep voice. You engulfed him in a hug and then you dragged him and your brother towards the living room to catch up. It was very late at night when Jisung had to return home, in all the time he was there you couldn’t stop looking at him, you were hypnotised.

Christmas passed by and it was one of the best you had celebrated. Your family and Jisung’s always celebrated it together, the dinner was made by your mom and Jisung’s mom while your fathers were in charge of the drinks. As always everything was wholesome and you had the best time ever.

Time passed by and new years came by, Yeji invited you to a party but you didn’t stay much since you wanted to be with Jisung on his first night as an adult, sadly when you arrived he was already drunk thanks to you brother and his friends. He took you out to the backyard and he confessed his feelings for you in his drunken state, taking you by surprise. Even though you weren’t sure about your own feelings you told him that you can figure them out together and then you kissed him properly this time. You weren’t sure why you did it but you didn’t regret it. It felt nice, it felt familiar and it made you feel warm. It was the best way to start the new year.

After that night Jisung made his life mission to help you figure out what your heart wanted. He was finally able to act according to his feelings, he didn’t hold back and made sure to prove to you that he meant every single thing he said during that new years night. He spent months clearing all of your doubts, answering all of your questions and giving you the assurance you needed. After all his efforts, support and patience you realised that you wanted Jisung, you realised that your heart longed for him.

During summer break he picked you up at the airport and asked you to be his girlfriend and you accepted gladly; you sealed the deal with a kiss full of affection, it was desperate in a way, you have yearned to feel his lips on yours once again. After that day you spend your summer by Jisung’s side, it was as if you were glued together. Wherever you went Jisung was following and vice versa.

Two months have passed, your break is almost over, meaning that you would have to go back to school very soon. Jisung, knowing this, never left your side. He wanted to spend every single moment you had left home with you.

“The summer went by so fast,” he said in a whisper while you were at the kitchen making a midnight snack; actually he was sitting while you were the one cooking, not letting him get near the kitchen since he would probably light it on fire.

“I know,” you said while dicing some veggies for your ramen. “For the first time, I'm not as excited to go back.”

“For the first time?” he asked confusedly while he stared at you.

“Yeah, I don't love leaving home but I'm always really excited to go back, living on my own and having independence, you know?” He just nodded, not knowing exactly what to answer. “I know it may sound a little selfish but I always loved going back but now, it's so different.”

“Why?”

“Because of you.” You both felt your cheeks warming up for the sudden confession. “I’m always excited to come back here and see my family, see Hyuck and my friends but ever since you confessed during new years I couldn't stop thinking about coming back home and seeing you.” Jisung stood up silently so he wouldn't interrupt you. “I wanted to hang out with you, spend time with you, see your cute face everyday, I was desperate to be with you.” You smiled while feeling his arms sneak around your waist, and you let out a soft giggle while feeling his face burning in your neck. “I yearned for you so fucking much.” He left a soft kiss on your neck, then your shoulder and your neck once again, he was drowning in your scent.

“God, I fucking love you.” It was a whisper. It was innocent and said out of instinct, he didn't even realise what he just said until you left his side.

“What!?”

“Nothing.” He was ready to leave but your hand on his wrist stopped him. You made him face you.

“That was not nothing.” He didn't dare to look at you. “What did you just say Park Jisung?” Your tone was demanding and serious, not in an aggressive way but you wanted an answer.

After a long pause he finally got the courage he needed to say those words again.

“I said that I love you.” His voice was barely a whisper but because you were alone, you were able to hear him clearly. “You don't have to say anything, I know it's way too soon to say stuff like this since we've been in a relationship for just 2 months but I have loved you since before.” Because he's looking down he didn't realise you're coming closer to him. “I'm sorry if it freaked you out and I totally understand if you want to take some time apart, to be honest, I wouldn't blame you.” He let out a soft giggle which was full of embarrassment. “I'll just go…”

You stopped him once again and he finally looked up at you. You cupped his face with your hands and you kissed him.

You kissed him softly, slowly and it's intense because of the intimacy that you were sharing in that moment—you both felt like you were the only ones in the world and that time has stopped just for you. You feel like the moon and the stars are witnessing the scene with such endearment and they look down at you with the happiest of their smiles. You savoured him, you made sure to transmit all of your feelings with that kiss, you wanted him to feel safe, at ease, at home. You wanted him to feel like the only reason he was put on earth was for that moment alone, that he was meant to be by your side, just like you were meant to be by his. You engulfed him in your arms just like he did, you wanted him closer even though you couldn't be. You were desperate for him, and your heart felt like it was going to explode from all the love that you feel for this boy.

You broke the kiss but you were still in his embrace and he was in yours; your foreheads were touching, both of you had your eyes closed, feeling each other's breaths in your faces, but neither of you seemed to mind.

“I love you too,” your tone was sure and confident. You then opened your eyes to see his reaction.

His eyes lit up and his smile was the biggest you have ever seen and if your vision isn't failing you, you think his eyes were watering.

“Really?” His voice was soft, and it broke a little because of the knot in his throat.

“Really.” You could see a little tear running down and you were quick to wipe it off with your thumb.

“Shit, sorry.” He let out a nervous giggle while he wiped yet another tear. “I'm just really fucking happy.” You couldn't help but start tearing up as well. “No wait, don't cry.” He panicked and then cupped your cheeks in between his big hands. They were cold compared to your very warm face.

“I can't help it, you know how I always cry whenever you do.” You sniffled and he laughed at you. You looked so adorable trying to hold in your tears.

He wiped your tears with such delicacy, he then proceeded to put your hair behind your ears and then he left a soft kiss on your forehead so he could finally hug you; you buried your face in his chest and he rested his chin on the top of your head.

“Just like when we were kids,” you let out and he laughed once again.

“Just like when we were kids,” he repeated, voice full of adoration.

Jisung has never been great with words but he somehow knew what to do to comfort you whenever you cried in front of him (which was very, very rare). He always started by wiping your tears away, he always did it in the softest way possible, as if you were made of glass; his fingers always felt cold against your skin but you never minded. He then helped you get your hair fixed, placing the stray strands where they belonged and then tugging some behind your ears to finally leave a little kiss on your forehead. He knew all of that was good but it wasn't enough so he would seal the deal with a hug. A hug that always felt so soft and warm, a hug that always felt familiar and comfortable, a hug that made you feel you belonged with him. You fitted in his embrace perfectly just like he fitted in yours.

You were meant to be together. It was a bumpy ride, with its highs and lows but you were meant to be. Everyone knew it, even the moon who would always watch over you two, waiting patiently. Even the stars, who would always light up your path so you could find your way to each other.

You stay like that for a while, enjoying the domestic moment, not wanting to let go until you hear the pot overflowing.

“Shit, our food!” You broke the hug and turned to the stove.

You put the pot out of the fire and you turn the flame off. The food was ruined and the kitchen was a mess.

“Man, and you said I was a terrible cook,” Jisung said with a mocking tone.

“Oh, shut up,” you said annoyedly while you try to clean up your mess. “This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes! If you weren't being all romantic and sentimental our ramen wouldn't have died like this.”

“I'm sorry for saying that I love my girlfriend, it won't happen again.”

“Wait no, I want to hear it again.” You panicked by hearing him. “I want to hear it a million times.”

“Oh good, because I was joking,” he said while helping you clean. “Now that I've said it, now that is finally out of my system, it's the only thing that I want to say to you.”

“Good because it's the only thing that I want to hear.”

You finished cleaning up and you're quick to put your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You left a kiss on his lips and started preparing the food again.

After finishing cooking and eating together you cleaned everything once again to finally go back to your room and get some sleep. You wiggled your way back to your bed, got into position and waited for Jisung to lay down so you could finally get 100% comfortable. After waiting patiently for you, he then plopped down next to you, he pulled you closer and he buried his face in the space between your neck, he loved getting drunk in your scent.

After getting into a position where the two of you were comfortable you were quick to fall asleep, you didn't even notice you forgot to close your window´s curtains, you were gonna regret that in the morning.

The night sky was clear, the moonlight sneaked in your room giving you two the perfect glow. The moon smiled by seeing you together, she was proud to see you could finally find your way to each other. The stars were beaming even harder, they couldn't hide their happiness. They worked so hard for you and seeing you together made them shine even brighter, they were glowing.

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dancingisdangerouss · 1 year

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I think you started loosing readers when you first started taking a break cause of the copying thing. There arent't a lot of people reading grabber fics in the first place and after you stopped posting regularly, it decreased. That's what I noticed at least.

Whatever, I hope this situation gets somehow solved because it's really irking and I miss the positive funny vibes that were going on here!

Oh most definitely, it was very disheartening. I had a large following up until I returned to work from medical leave, and then from there I had more medical issues, something traumatic happened to me that I’m still working through, and my anxiety got so bad that it’s been causing me stomach issues.

So it kinda sucked—I understand people didn’t want to wait around, but it was sad to see them all disperse when I needed the support the most, y’know? But that’s definitely when the decline first began.

So I don’t blame the other fic for my lack of comments, but I was sad to see that mine all ducked out in my absence and started supporting a knock-off (at the time I was still thinking I was just seeing things, so it was sucky, but a lot of other remaining grabber fics have also been getting long commentaries and feedback, so it wasn’t just her story).

It’s hard because I feel pressured to get chapters done quicker to keep people from abandoning the story, but I’m also trying to take care of myself as best I can. Just sucks that my mental and physical health has been in decline, and I’m doing my best to tread water.

That’s also why writing is so important to me; I’ve done creative writing since I was practically a toddler (if anyone ever wants to see some of my cringey shit from when I was like 12, just ask 😂 But be warned that it’s reaaally bad lol), and started a club in school. It’s always been my best way of coping with stress.

I’ll admit, I’m an attention Whore. Not in the “look at me!” sense so much as…like, the equivalent of a kid showing an adult their crappy crayon drawing and being happy when the adult is like “wow good job!”

I’m basically a dog: I need constant reassurance, head pats, and treats. I think it’s because I’m attention-starved (probably from childhood stuff) and highly insecure, so if I’m not getting positive feedback, I wilt like an unwatered plant.

Basically, the part about the comments section was added because, while the other ones with all the replies are a little deflating to see, when I put together all this evidence for her fic, it felt even worse that my work was being recognized elsewhere.

I’ve also been getting major sexist vibes (not literal, but the same tone), with the opposing side treating me like my anger is somehow unwarranted—like when a guy is being an asshole to a woman and she inevitably bites back, and they’re like, “Wow touchy! Calm down and learn to take a joke!” I guess they’re disappointed I’m not still being meek and not letting them step all over me anymore.

I hope it does, too. I really appreciate y’all’s support immensely; the sooner this gets dealt with, the sooner I can relax fully and go back to enjoying my blog.

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softlymellow · 3 years

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Hi love! I just followed you a second ago after reading some of your fics! Your writing is amazing, so I wanted to request a fluffy soulmate au with Pietro where the world is black and white until you make physical contact with your soulmate? Feel free to go wherever with this, but can you make the reader’s personality similar to Pietro’s? (I see too many fics where the reader is all shy and a rule-follower and such and I’m nothing like that) I hope you can do this!!🥰

odds -- P.M

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x reader (Marvel)

word count: 1.9k

warnings: nothingg

summary: Reader is on the run from Hydra and has caused trouble on the streets. She encounters the Avengers and fights them, but what happens if her soulmate is among the Avengers?

a/n: tysm for my being my first request haha sorry if its not thatt fluffy or if you didn't expect it go this way, i tried to incorporate your ideas in the imagine ! i just added my little twist

"Fuck," you muttered as the Avengers slowly caved around you.

You were on the run from Hydra after having several experiments and tests done on you. They created gene mutations and then made DNA replications, causing you to gain the ability to create clones. You were the first successful patient they had, but you were fortunate enough to escape from the hideout.

But they wouldn't leave you alone, taking every chance they could to retrieve you, but you fought back -gaining attention from the general public- and that's how you ended up in this situation.

You were also running from the Avengers as they tried to capture you for causing trouble around the streets and using unauthorized powers.

You heard the slightest movement behind you, whipping your head, you saw Black Widow; her eyes widened as she realized you heard her. She threw a punch over your head, but you ducked in time.

As you were bent over, you kicked her legs to the side and she fell on her hands, before pushing herself off the ground.

Sudden arms wrapped around you and you were lifted off the ground, Black Widow began to charge at you but you brought your legs up and kicked her in the chest. Twisting your body, you recognized Captain America was gripping you, you brought back your elbow and jabbed in the face.

A single spike of pain struck the man and his hold on you loosened, taking the opportunity you escaped from his hold.

"Is that all you got?" You said to him, smirking to yourself.

Using your abilities, you created multiple copies of yourself, tons of them ran around you as you then quietly joined them. The Avengers watched in awe as they lost track of you among the clones.

Running as fast as you can along with the other clones, a sudden command was yelling out and then you felt a surge of power from Wanda Maximoff hit you in the stomach, knocking you to the ground. A flash of light appeared and you were suddenly pinned to the ground, the back of your head hitting the concrete.

Your eyes squinted as you grunted and hissed, confused at how somebody could tell which clone was the real one.

Opening your eyes, you felt your heart stop.

The world exploded with colour. Every colour you could think of was plastered everywhere. The shades and the tints were so vivid and astonishing. The dramatic change of atmosphere left you speechless, your eyes darted everywhere, gazing at the different tones of objects and people.

You felt yourself become uneasy at the transformation and you realised you still felt the weight on top of you. An anxious feeling rested on your stomach as you slowly made eye contact with the man on top of you.

Pietro Maximoff. You had heard about him and his sister on the news and at Hydra bases. His eyes rested on you as he was in awe from being in contact with his soulmate.

You never believed you had a soulmate. That is how reality is. Not everybody had a soulmate. The odds weren't in favour for only a few, and you believed you were part of the smaller ratio. The way your life progressed, you had eventually lost hope, but here he was.

His gaze was still on you, focusing on the different shades on your face, the crimson red blood that dripped down from your rosy lips. The various tones in your hair and the slight discolouration on your cheeks from dirt.

"W-what?" You managed to get you, your voice croaking. Pietro couldn't bring himself to say anything; he found you so beautiful, even as you lay there confused, his hold on you loosened as and he shifted back from you.

Sudden energy tightened around your body, and you shrieked and thrashed under his hold. You felt yourself slowly lose air as you felt all your insides clasp and tighten. You grabbed your throat, desperate for it to reach your lungs.

Pietro's eyes widened in panic as he tried to find the source of your problem, his eyes widened as he saw the red energy that floated around your body.

"Stop it, sister!" He yelled, his thick accent evident in his tone.

Suddenly, you felt your body loosen up as you gasped for air. Your hands loosened around your throat as you slowly sat up. Looking around, you saw the confused expressions on the Avengers' faces. Your eyes rested on Wanda Maximoff as her eyes flashed a red before speaking up.

"She's his soulmate," She announced.

A silence fell among everyone before Tony Stark walked up to her, his mask opening up to reveal his bewildered face.

"Wait, wait, wait, how do you know?" He asked.

"I read his mind."

Tony sighed and rubbed his face, "Great, we have a Hydra agent who is soulmates with an Avenger."

"I am not a Hydra Agent," You glared at him as your voice came out strong.

Tony sarcastically chuckled before muttering something under his breath, "Go on, somebody tie her."

You felt a hand on your shoulder abruptly pull you up and shove both of your hands together and began to tie them together with an electrical impulse handcuffs to prevent you from escaping.

"Hey, watch it," Pietro softly pushed Steve away from you as he finished the final bindings of the cuffs. Steve had an amused expression as he saw Pietro's sudden protectiveness over you.

"Alright, bring her to the quinjet. We'll see if we can really trust her or not." Tony declared, already making his way inside.

The other Avengers slowly made their way inside and you felt a hand on your shoulder, softly urging you on to go inside. Peering behind you, you saw Pietro there, a small smile on his face.

The other Avengers sat in a distance from you two, including Wanda as Pietro whispered into her area telling her to give them some space. You sat on the floor, your back and arms against the wall as Pietro sat beside you.

"What's your name?" You snorted at this, funny to think that after meeting your soulmate and now tagging along with the Avengers, that'd be the first question.

"Y/n." You bleakly responded.

"I'm Pietro Ma-"

"-I know." You interrupted, his brow rose amusingly. "You and your sister were a pretty popular topic back at Hydra. You actually allowed those guys to experiment with you?" You addressed a popular rumour.

"And you didn't?"

You felt slightly offended by this; you worked your ass off to escape from those guys. "Haha, no, Pietro." You sarcastically said.

A comfortable silence fell among you two, Pietro's gaze resting on your face. You felt slightly nervous and a mixture of butterflies erupting from your stomach as you slowly tapped your fingers against each other.

"W-what are you staring at?"

"I'm thinking about how I got so lucky," He flirted with you, taking a piece of unkempt hair and tucking it behind your ear. Each touch sending electricity through your body.

"Wow, look at you. You're going to make me blush." You teased him, nudging his side with your tied-up hands.

"Thank you, Pietro." You whispered.

Pietro chuckled, a confused expression on his face, "What for? I had you pinned on the ground."

You rolled your eyes, "I mean, I can see now. The world looks so different now that I've met you. It's so just breathtaking."

"I thought my soulmate would be from Sokovia," he chuckled.

"Oh, am I not what you wanted?" You teased.

"You're better than the Sokovian girls," He winked at you, causing you to look away in embarrassment.

You then each began to talk about your lives and your stories to each other. You found Pietro to be easygoing and brave, he seemed to have a very strong relationship with his twin sister and he introduced a bunch of the Avengers. He also apologised for her attacking you earlier on, regret laced in his voice.

"Wow, look at you lovebirds," Natasha spoke out, interrupting the conversation you were in. "We're here now, but Y/n, you're going to need to stay in a prison-type cell thing for now." You nodded, avoiding eye contact with Pietro.

"But why?" Pietro asked, concern contoured on his face.

"We don't know if we can trust her," Natasha said as she walked away, leaving the pair to think over what's going to happen.

You got up as Pietro followed behind you, "I'm not going to let them do anything to you, I promise." He whispered in your ear as you both made your way inside Avengers Tower.

"Wow, what are you going to do, run past them?" You joked around, trying to lighten the mood.

"I did a lot more than run past you, didn't I?"

You made your way into the containment area of the tower, Steve and Pietro following behind you.

Steve removed the cuffs on your hands and you looked at them to see red marks around your wrists, you winced as they were sore from having them tightly secured on you. Pietro reached out to your wrists and slowly rubbed them, soothing the red skin. You blushed at the mini hand massage and gave him a small thank you.

"Alright, Y/n. You're going to stay in this cell for a little while as we figure out what we're going to do with you," He ushered you inside, breaking the contact you had with Pietro. He closed the bar door and locked it, "Pietro can stay here and visit you because well, he's your soulmate, but you can't leave this room. At least, for now."

You tightly gripped the bars as you watched Pietro's concerned look on his face. Steve left the room, leaving you and Pietro alone.

Although it was unusual circumstances, that was how you and Pietro's relationship grew. He sat across from you just in arms reach but he longed for you. He wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, and hold you. He visited you every day for two weeks and would have hours and day-long conversations with you. Every day was something different, and he felt blessed by the heavens to have a soulmate, that is you.

Wanda would come and visit occasionally, curious to what had peaked her brother's interests lately. The Maximoff twins had a certain charm, one that was unbreakable. If one twin is happy, then the other would also be happy.

The day came when you would be released from the small room, the Avengers had declared that you would join them for a trial for a short time. You were beyond thrilled and Pietro was equally as happy. They found your abilities to be useful and they would be able to use you to help stop Hydra; after attempting to convince them for hours that you weren't involved with them, as well as that it was against your will.

As the door finally opened, you crashed into Pietro's arms, holding him tightly as you inhaled his scent.

"It feels good to touch you," his thick accent evident when he speaks. You chuckled softly, nuzzling your face into his arms.

One day you believed you had no soulmate but the next hour, your world burst with colours. The odds were in your favour.

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animeniac-writings · 3 years

Text

Titan!Eren x reader (sort of) Ain’t SFW

This fic is in part dedicated to @ererokii who wrote about that titan tongue and sent my mind into making this. You are responsible.

Anime: Shingeki no Kyojin

“WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO FUCK EREN’S TITAN?”

It was still barely the crack of dawn, before the sun was visible in the sky, before you had finished fastening the straps on your uniform, before the birds had even fully woken up.

Yet your door was flung open slamming back against the wall with enough force to wake up anyone who was still smart enough to be unconscious.

“Good morning Commander Hanji, how are you this morning Commander Hanji?” You calmly continued buttoning your shirt while she waved off your snark with a look of undampened enthusiasm across her face.

Something that would surely put fear into some unlucky souls today, and it seems you should be the first one of them.

“Yes, yes, good morning, it’s morning?” She walked in the room past you to pace in the center of the room, mumbling in thought with gears almost visibly turning in her head.

“Doesn’t matter! This is important, it could be a breakthrough in understanding titan shifters and priceless knowledge to use against them.”

You had slipped on your jacket and tried to brace yourself when she turns back to you, eyes shining with glee.

“So will you do it? Will you fuck his titan? I would gladly participate in this experiment myself but Moblit says “That would be inappropriate” and “honestly rather disturbing” and “an invasion of privacy on the highest levels.” She rolled her eyes mocking Moblit’s words with air quotes.

“Well, Commander, no disrespect but as his titan form has no genitals and his tongue’s as thick as a pig, no.”

She deadpanned, face falling flat and starring at you sharply. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never done anything nasty with those 15 meters.”

“I-”

“Exactly! So you’ll do it?” There was no arguing with her plans, there never was.

“You know, some of the stuff you come up with is really intrusive Commander.”

“I’ve been told that many times!” She grabbed your wrist and was tugged you along with her down the hallway.

_____

You stood beside the Commander in a small clearing, 3DMG prepped and ready, staring up at Eren’s titan form that awaited “A fantastic new experiment!” as far as he knew.

“So you want me to slice open his neck, crawl inside, and start jacking him off?”

Hanji was practically vibrating in excitement, gripping her notes clipboard tight enough you think it would break soon.

Moblit was called to help transcribe the coming events but was standing off to the side looking like he’d rather Eren step on him.

The titan looked down towards you and huffed through his nose in question.

“Yes! That way we’ll know how disrupting the body inside the titan effects it’s actions!”

You’re rather impressed at how professional she can appear while telling you to give your boyfriend, her no. 1 specimen, a handjob.

Moblit seemed to have steeled his nerves and stomach walking back towards you both, you acknowledge and give him a curt nod. “Since all of history was black lined, I hope everything we do gets put into history books so people will read it and wonder what the fuck was wrong with us.”

You take a deep breath and angle your gear ready to launch. “And molesting him would give better results than say, one of those tiny knee hammers? Poking him with a fork?”

She shakes her head as if you’re the ridiculous one.

“Not enough physical stimulation for a definitive reaction.” She mulls over her thoughts for a short moment. “But you could cut off his leg while you’re in there?’

“Honestly, I’d rather not.” Your face scrunches at the sensation whiplash your poor boyfriend would get. “And the reason for not telling him what I’m going to do it because?”

She ignores your question, only briefly having said something before about the "element of surprise."

“You never know! This could be the perfect way to bring a titan shifter to its knees without killing them!”

You cock your gear’s angle “...if this works I get a front row seat to you telling Connie and Jean this new, required protocol.”

In the blink of an eye your gear first hooks into the flesh of his hip, to his shoulder, then into each cheek with you safely perched on the bridge of his nose.

“It’s just me, okay baby? Hold tight.” His eyes focus on you and gives a an affirmative little growl. You pat the side of his nose and are off.

You remove one of your blades after landing on his shoulder, taking a deep breath before carefully cutting into the flesh of his neck where Hanji had showed you on a diagram before.

Steam poured from the large slit but when you pushed the side you could see there was indeed as you were told, a small cavern sort of area around Eren, nearly in awe looking at how the tendons attached to his arms, his face, cocooning him only where it needed to attach.

“Just stay still Eren!” Hanji’s far away shout make you shake from the stupor, sheathing your blade and crawling in towards his body.

The cut steamed and resealed shut after you had crawled inside, it was strange enclosed inside the titan, small but with enough space to move around. The dry heat was stifling but nothing like what poured out out of incisions.

Eren’s leg moved slightly, you wonder if his titan had readjusted its’ stance?

The space is cramped and strange in the way it surrounds your suspended boyfriend, but you move to be sat directly in front of his waist, observing how the tendons keep hold on him.

You can see his eyes, standing against the flesh to peek over the tissue, how they flit bored, his body poised that you know he’s waiting for something to be done. He has worked on endurance in his form, but still. He hates just waiting.

You trail your fingertips down his jawline, a ghost of a touch, and his head tilts. The titan’s head tilts.

As you unbutton his pants you can tell he fells something happening, his mouth turns downward into a frown, his legs shift and you would bet his eyebrows are furrowed.

You unzip his pants and push down his underwear and you can tell he can feel exactly when you grip his cock in your hand. His posture straightens and you can feel the titan shift in copy of it.

He’s hard in seconds of you freeing him, the most predictable trick he has and you run your hand up and down his length a few times, squeezing firmly near his base. Precum leaks generously from his tip and drips down for you to use.

His thighs clench and you place your free hand running over the tense muscle.

Your hand speeds up, fist spreading the precum across him and rubbing your thumb in circles below the head of his cock, you can tell he’s having trouble staying upright, a shaky breath and legs begin to tremble.

You leave him lacking for a moment and reach your hand below, slicked fingers rubbing slow and decisive massaging and pushing firmly against each of his balls and the whole being around you shakes as much as the one directly at your mercy.

A simple squeeze at the top of his balls and he breaks, falling to his knees and there’s a short weightlessness as the titan slams down to follow suit.

You can’t seem to find it in you to care but the movement knocks you back against the wall of flesh and your grip on his dick yanks him harshly, a moan, a whine, from Eren above you and a growl resonating from the titan.

You wonder if the titan’s eyes have rolled back the way you know Eren’s have.

It takes a second to re-steady yourself and Eren whines from the lack of attention, your hand goes around him again, barely touching around him before deciding to run your nails along the bottom of his shaft.

A moan spills out of him that makes the whole titan seem to shake with a growl and you quickly go back to jerking you grip up and down his length, precum slick and fast and you know he’s close, finally you can hear his mindless begging between breathless pants asking for more, please, wanting anything and everything you would give him.

Tightening your grip to squeeze around him every time you pull forward and he tries to follow but it stuck in place when his hips try to jut closer.

His beautiful moans filling your senses and the distant sounds from the titan echoing his cries spur you on to make him finish. To watch how his jaw clenches from below and how be bites his lip enough to pierce the skin as his orgasm finally hits, your nails of one hand digging harshly into his thigh and making him see stars with the other.

Your thumb presses directly over his whole while he cums, white pouring out around it and giving just too much stimulation rubbing in short, fast circles that makes him cry out to you with his whole body quaking in pleasure even while he’s held up securely.

With Eren truly spent, you watch in delicious satisfaction how his chest heaves with each breath, thighs still shaking and panting heavily.

You almost can’t help it. This was to “test” him after all, right? You move your hand, still covered with cum and stick two fingers in his open mouth, his entire body goes rigid and you can feel the titan around you freeze as you drag down the expanse of his tongue and pull them out.

You’re not sure if he can hear you, he can from the outside but you rest a hand on the tendon holding his arm, lean close to his ear and praise. “Good boy.”

A shiver visibly runs down his spine and you grin. Moving your attention back to his pants, tucking him back into his underwear which are still soiled with cum anyway and buttoning him shut. But pulling the waist band forward so it lightly snaps back against taught pelvis for good measure. It’s still enough to make him jolt and the titan quake.

With a quick wipe of your hand down your thigh to get clean off what Eren would usually be up for taking care of, and your job here is done.

Taking out your blade you start cutting approximately where you had entered, knowing you wont accidentally cut Eren makes it easier.

Crawling back out is trickier, the angry steam hindering your vision making it hard to see where to grapple even with the titan still as stone.

But you can hear Hanji shouting with excitement before you’re out of the cut, something about how amazing that was, incredible research, you’re sure if you tried you could hear Moblit moaning about what his life has become.

Once you’re safely on the ground you look at the damage you did from the outside.

Eren’s titan is on it’s knees, craters in the ground from how hard he dropped. Arms limp and his head hanging down, mouth open and hair shielding his face much how Eren is inside.

You never thought you’d see a titan be “disheveled” but that’s the only word that could truly describe how wrecked he looks.

“Oh, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW EREN!” Hanji finally pauses her joyous dance to inform him, but the titan stays still. “Eren?”

You don’t think he’ll me moving on his own for another few minutes.

#eren x reader #eren imagine #Eren Jaeger Imagine #eren jaeger x reader #attack on titan #Attack on Titan Imagine #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #shingeki no kyojin imagine #aot imagine #AoT #aot x reader #snk #snk x reader #snk imagine #my stuff

566 notes · View notes

stickyy · 3 years

Note

I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence.

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest.

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy.

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

456 notes · View notes

the7thcrow · 3 years

Text

indulgence | part one

pairing: felix x (fem) vampire!reader series

summary: an indulgence grows to become dangerous, as the society of hampden college takes note of y/n’s new blood bag.

series masterlist.

word count: 4.9k

genre: forbidden love, angst (sorta), fluff, suggestive.

warnings: blood, suggestive content (kissing and a shirt comes off, nothing too crazy lmao), hook-ups (but nothing is explicitly described), strong language, and vampires ofc.

rating: 16+

a/n: hi everyone! this is my first fic, so i’m sorry if it’s a little messy. this is part one of what will be a series. i’d love to hear some feedback, so don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message! i hope you enjoy!

...

You are late. The pattering of rain echos from atop your umbrella, the puddles of pooling water soaking your loafers as you hurry along the busy street. However, you pay no mind as the liquid seeps into your shoes, mud embedding itself along your pant leg. On a normal day, you’d scowl. You’d curse the shitty weather, and grumble as you marched home to change into a dry pair of shoes. Only today is different. Today it doesn’t matter, not when you have far greater troubles warranting your concern.

The Council isn’t pleased. They’d be even more upset, if that were even possible, if you arrived tardy. You can imagine their old, petulant faces, looking down on you with disgust. Perhaps even pity, seeing you as nothing more than a childish young girl, who’d been foolish enough to break her vow. You frown to yourself, that’s all they would ever see you as. It didn’t matter how the years passed by, to them you were, and would always be simply that. A child. Always younger, always naive. Most of all, always beneath them.

The headquarters becomes visible in the distance, clouded in the slight haze of fog. It appears to be like any other building on the Hampden Campus. Old and rustic, elegant in the way it was shaped and carved, a relic of history reflected in a modern day era. Only this building holds a far different tale than those surrounding it.

Far more bloody. Far more gruesome. A home to monsters.

Monsters like yourself.

You knock on the door. Twice, slowly. Then a pause, before three times quickly. A code, letting anyone inside know that you are, in fact, a member of The Society.

The door opens with a creak, a young boy with electric blue hair peeking out through the crack. After recognizing your face, he smiles, ushering you in quickly as the door slams shut behind you.

“Y/N! It’s good to see you. It’s been a while, huh?” The boy says, casually leaning against the door. It has been a while, you never came to this god awful building unless it was absolutely necessary.

“I guess it has been. But it’s nice to see you too, Jeongin,” you speak warmly in return. You’ve known Jeongin for a couple years now, since he first arrived at The Society doorstep. Alone and confused. A freshling, having just been turned. While perhaps not physically, he’s certainly grown since then, in both confidence and courage.

Suddenly, the smile drops from his face, his expression becoming sullen. “I hear you’ve gotten yourself into some trouble,” he states. When you don’t respond, he continues. “It’s not true, is it? I know you wouldn’t-”

“Listen, Jeongin,” you cut him off quickly. You aren’t in the mood to be lectured, especially not by someone whose opinion you actually care about. “I’m already running late. I’ll catch up with you after, okay?”

“Wait, Y/N!” He calls after you, but you’ve already disappeared down the hall, heading towards the council room. You quickly cast a glance at your watch. Shit, five minutes late. They wouldn’t forget that.

With only a quick breath to gather yourself, you burst in through the large wooden doors. The silence in the council room is deafening, as all heads turn to face you. In all your life, you’ve never seen so many dissatisfied faces.

“Ms. L/N,” the head councilman calls. He has an old face, embedded with wrinkles and a scalp of thinning white hair. Unlucky. He could have been beautiful, or at the very least, young. However, he must’ve been turned late. A pity, to stare at such a reflection for eternity.

You stifle a laugh. The frown he always appeared to be wearing probably wasn’t helping.

“Take a seat,” he states, motioning to the chair seated in the center of the room. How dramatic you think, to put you in the middle of so many staring eyes. While the council was only composed of three individuals, the room seems to be full of other lower ranked members of The Society.

As you take your seat, your gaze wanders the room, landing on a familiar head of shaggy brown hair. His eyes bore into your own, his expression serious. Perhaps even angry, the longer he stares at you.

You want to say something. Mostly, to ask him what the fuck he’s doing here. This isn’t any of Chan’s business, yet for whatever reason he has the audacity to stare at you as if it is. As if you will grant him answers. As if he deserves answers.

“Ms. L/N,” the chairman interrupts your thoughts. “Do you know why you’re seated here today?”

Why are you seated here today? Well, that answer is complicated. How could you have possibly gotten yourself into such a mess? How could you have been so foolish? You knew the rules. You knew what was permitted and what was not. Yet, you chose to ignore these conditions.

Why? What could possibly have made you toss everything you’d promised to the side?

Well, that story starts with a head of bright blonde hair, and a set of curious eyes.

~~~~

The library of Hampden College had become something of a second home to you. Late nights spent bent over a book, transcribing various philosophies and literature into latin. Sometimes greek, however you didn’t have quite the same knack for it. That’s where you found yourself tonight, your beaten down copy of The Iliad staring back at you from its place on the table.

Your classics degree was coming along just fine. You didn’t mind the endless books to read and poems to analyze. Nor the papers you often found yourself crafting from this very spot in the corner of the library. It was always quiet, always solitary at this time. Even the night owl students having gathered their books, departing the library for a brief rest before their early classes the following morning.

Tonight however, was different. You heard the door creak open, glancing up as a boy appeared in the doorway. He had long blonde hair, fluffing at the nape of his neck. Sporting a sharp blazer and a pair of oxfords, you couldn’t deny he was well dressed. Perhaps that’s why he grabbed your attention immediately, you were attracted to effort. To someone who was put together, who cared.

The boy took a seat just a few tables away from your own, gently setting his books down and disappearing into the maze of shelves to your left. You attempted to go back to your work, but couldn’t seem to find your focus. Who was this boy? You’d never seen him before in all your time at Hampden. Also, why would he possibly be at the library so late? You recognized the faces of those who while rare, might possibly be here at this time of night. He wasn’t one of them.

You would remember if he was.

You strained your neck trying to find his figure, having lost him almost immediately.

“A fan of Homer?” A voice rang out from beside your ear. You jumped in shock, greeted by a sweet smile and wide eyes. The boy chuckled. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

You smiled sweetly, trying to calm your beating heart. “No worries. And well, you translate the entirety of Book Eight overnight into Greek, and tell me if you could still consider yourself a ‘fan of Homer.’”

The boy laughed before beginning to pull a chair out beside you. “May I?” He asked.

Looking back, you should have said no. You had a lot more work to do, and near no time to do it. Not to mention of course, rejecting him initially could have saved you from this whole mess. Instead you nodded, a grin forming at the corners of your lips as he sat down.

“What’s your name?” He asked. His voice was sweet, sultry. Alarming in just how deep it was, not quite fitting his bright and youthful exterior.

“Y/N, classics department. Yourself?”

“Felix,” he answered. There it was, the first time you heard the name that would cause your undoing. “I’m majoring in history. Listen,” he began, leaning in slightly closer as if he were going to tell you a secret, his voice lowering further. “I must say, I’m in here all the time, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

You hummed, leaning in closer to him as well. His eyes glinted. “Well that’s simple, I’m assuming you don’t frequent the library at-” you glanced at your watch- “2:32 in the morning.”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed with something like concern. “You’re here every night at this time? Why?”

“Hey,” you began, not wanting to lose the playful nature to the conversation. You’d heard enough concerned voices to last a lifetime already. “Aren’t you here this late yourself? You’re in no place to judge.”

He laughed, and you knew you could get used to that sound. “Fair enough, I’ll leave it be.”

“Why are you here this late, anyway?” You asked.

“Oh, so you get to know my secrets, but I can’t know yours?”

“Of course.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, resting his head on the desk, cradled by his crossed arms. “If you must know, I couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d read some of your classics, thought they might help me doze off.”

You shoved his arm, to which he feigned a groan of pain, clutching his shoulder. “Excuse you,” you laughed. “I have a lot of Homer to struggle through, and no time for your cheap shots. You can go ahead and leave now.”

You were surprised when he got to his feet, worried for a moment he’d taken you seriously and was actually about to make his exit. Instead, he disappeared into the philosophy section, emerging with a copy of The Odyssey. Felix flopped down back in his chair beside you, extending his feet on top of the table and leaning backwards.

“Well, then I guess I’ll suffer along with you,” he said. Without another word, he flipped towards the first page.

Felix was a good person to study with. Well, technically you weren’t studying with him, but nonetheless it was nice to have him in the room. He didn’t bother you, didn’t speak, just let you do your work. Sometimes you’d look up and meet his gaze, his eyes imploring you. Curious. Mischievous.

Dangerous.

“Alright,” you yawned after an hour or so had passed by, stretching your arms high in the air. “I’m done.”

He smiled, slowly closing his book and setting it down on the table. “Yeah? Finally going to go home and sleep?”

“Sleep? What’s that?” You said, playfully scoffing. “Nah, it’s already past 3:30, it’ll be 4 by the time I get back to my apartment. Not worth it at this point.”

“Hmm,” Felix hummed, a flicker of mischief in his growing smile. “What ever will you do to pass the time?”

“I don’t know,” you returned, excitement building in your chest. “But I suppose I’ll leave you now. You still have about 3 quarters of The Odyssey to get through, and I don’t want to tear you away from-”

You shouldn’t have been surprised when his lips crashed into yours, but you were. You let out a small “mff” against the sudden impact. It took your brain a second to catch up to speed on what was happening. Here you were, with this incredibly beautiful boy of whom you literally just met, kissing in the middle of the library.

Your second thought was about how you’d never done this before. Not kissing someone, hell you’d done a lot more than just that. But never a stranger, and certainly never a human, for that matter. You had to be careful with who you got close to, you never knew who could be dangerous, who could be a hunter. Besides, The Society had rules, and this alone was undoubtedly breaking a few of them.

So what the hell were you doing?

You should stop this, you thought. But the more you settled into a rhythm, the more your worries trailed from your mind. Felix was a good kisser. A really good kisser. His lips were soft, warm, his breath sharp with the taste of mint. When the dork had a chance to pop a tic tac you didn’t know, but it made you smile against him.

You ran your fingers through his hair, leaning into him. He groaned in response, moving his hands down your figure, settling in on your waist. Carefully he began to fiddle with the buttons at the bottom of your blouse, and with that it all suddenly became real.

“We can’t do this,” you breathed, finally breaking away from him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I went too far, I-” he began to apologize, frantically removing his hands from your body and shifting backwards into his chair.

“No,” you replied, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips at his sweetness. You grabbed the collar of his shirt, gently tugging him closer to you. “We can’t do this here.”

The Society had rules, plenty. Human’s, in any sort of relationship, were out of the question. Public displays of affection with even your own kind, especially of the more vulgar sort, were off limits as well. The idea was to not bring attention to yourselves, to not cause a scene. And if you were going to break one of these rules so terribly, you figured you could at least pay the respect to do so privately.

“Okay,” he mumbled, placing his forehead against your own. “Where should we go?”

“My place? It’s a little far from here, but I don’t have any roommates. So..”

Felix smiled, planting a soft, lingering kiss at the nape of your neck. “Lead the way.”

~~~~

The walk over to your apartment wasn’t awkward per say, it was simply...charged. Felix had his arm looped around your own, making your way silently down the dark, lantern lit path through campus. You could feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest, a desire thrumming down inside you, resurfacing. It had been a long time since you’d last been with someone. That last person being Chan, your ex as of eight months ago.

Things had been good with Chan. Great even, in the beginning at least. He was intense, thoughtful. He loved you deeply. Most of all, Chan understood. Like you, he was a member of The Society. He was under every restriction you were, and felt all the same frustrations.

Of course, not all good things can last. Eventually your relationship began to sour. Your arguments became full on brawls. Your differences and quirks became unbearable. You couldn’t be in the same room without being at one another's throats. You were the one who finally decided to end things.

Chan was the only man you’d ever loved, and since him you’d never entertained the thought of being with another. Until now, that is. You glanced towards Felix, who was staring ahead down the street, his eyes dark. You could feel his own desire radiating off of him, visible in the way he slowly swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. Besides, Felix could give you something more. Something Chan could never.

No. You stopped yourself. That wouldn’t be happening tonight. It would only make things more complicated, more dangerous. Still, you could feel it deep inside you, pounding for control. That familiar, incessant hunger. The more you tried to ignore it, the more it was there. Becoming stronger as your ears focused in on Felix’s heart beat, the sound of blood pumping through his veins.

You were pulled from your thoughts as the sight of your apartment complex appeared in front of you. Quietly you entered, making your way up the stairs and towards your own door. Releasing your arm from Felix’s, you fumbled for your keys in your purse. Giving him a small smile, you twisted your key in the lock, and allowed him inside.

The moment you closed your apartment door, all bets were off. Felix tossed his books onto your kitchen table, clashing into you with a speed that almost made you lose your own breath. You felt your back press against the wall behind you, Felix’s lips devouring your own. Desperate and wanting.

He quickly revisited the buttons of your blouse, this time starting at the top and beginning to make his way down. All the meanwhile his lips traced your neck, gently brushing against your skin. With every new kiss fueling your own desire, you slowly began to rock your hips into his own. This was escalating. Fast. As he finished with the last button, he allowed your blouse to drop from your shoulders, smiling to himself as he took you in.

“Your turn,” you breathed, tugging at the collar of his shirt as a signal to take it off. He did so, absent-mindedly tossing it aside into your living room. He took your chin in his hand, forcing you to look up at him, staring deeply into your eyes. Then he proceeded to say the very last thing you ever expected him to:

“Look at your eyes… You haven’t fed in weeks, have you?”

You slapped his hand away and shoved him off of you, rushing to the otherside of the room, putting the coffee table between yourselves. “How-How do you?” You stammered, physically unable to form a complete sentence. How could he possibly know what you were? How did he even know you existed?

Felix’s eyes widened, clearly shocked by your reaction. “No, no. Don’t worry!” He said frantically, outstretching his hand to you. “Listen, I’m not going to hurt you or anything. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”

You stared at him, disbelievingly. “Yeah? And how do I know that?” You let this man into your home, your safe space. How could you have been so stupid?

“Look, I grew up around Vampires okay? My neighbors, back in my childhood home, they were like you. I know the signs. I know how your eyes blow out when you’re hungry, the way they glaze over when you haven’t fed in a while. That’s it. I didn’t even realize until I got a good look at you, back when you were translating. It’s no big deal, really.”

You scoffed. No big deal? Felix didn’t seem to realize just how big of a deal it actually was. Humans weren’t supposed to know what you were, certainly not at Hampden. The Society had made well sure of that. God, if The Council saw you now...

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I should have told you back at the library. I honestly didn’t think it would freak you out this much. That’s on me,” he said, inching slightly closer to you. Despite yourself, you didn’t move away. “I’m serious though, it’s been a while since you last fed. Hasn’t it?”

A while was an understatement. The Society had been going through a shortage of blood bags, after having severed their connections with one of the nearby hospitals. Meaning if you wanted to drink, it would have to be from one of their Certified Donors. Which was another, fancier and far more innocent way of saying prisoners. These were humans who had given their lives to The Society, some willingly and others not so much.

You didn’t like going to their quarters. Located in the basement of the main district, it was always quiet down there. Always solemn. You’d never been to a place lacking so much hope. You’d only gone once, and drinking from that man still haunts you to this day. The way he didn’t move or speak, or even wince when your fangs broke his skin. The way his eyes were hollow and empty. How when you were done he simply laid down in his bed and turned away from you, without another word.

The Certified Donors were what made you begin to hate The Society in the first place. Since then, your resentment only seemed to grow.

You sighed, walking past him and flopping onto your couch. “Yeah, it’s been a while,” you confessed.

Felix carefully approached you. Instead of seating himself next to you, he got down on his knees, resting a hand on your thigh. “It’s okay, you can use me. I don’t mind.”

You were ready to tell him no, the word lingering on the tip of your tongue. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. Perhaps it was your hunger, the fact that a few more weeks in this drought, you might actually become ill.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that you wanted to disobey the society. That this little act of rebellion, this utterly wrong indulgence, was what made your desire grow unbearable, unchained. You hated The Council, you hated the Certified Donor system, and you hated the way they had such a firm grip and control on your life.

A beautiful boy was seated in front of you, begging you to drink from him. How could you possibly say no? Better yet, why would you say no? To deprive yourself of something so great, for something you despised so deeply seemed ridiculous. That was the moment your judgment lapsed, that you crossed the point of no return. If you drank from Felix, there would be no going back. If the council found out, there would be consequences. Big ones.

But who doesn’t love a little risk?

You sunk down to meet him on the floor, staring at his bare chest. You could hear his heart pumping, its pace quickening the closer you got to him.

“Are you sure about this?” You asked.

“Yes,” he whispered. You shifted your position. Not quite seating yourself in his lap, but hovering above, your knees on either side of him.

“This might hurt a little bit,” you warned. You extended your fangs, approaching his neck, carefully. You didn’t realize until then how nervous you were. It had been a long time since you’d fed from a human. You’d drank from Chan of course, but he was also a vampire, and your blood didn’t have quite the same effect. There was pleasure in it, usually accompanied in moments of ecstasy, but it didn’t replenish you. It didn’t heighten your senses, nor fill you with energy. Most of all, it didn’t satisfy your hunger, your thirst. Not at all.

Felix’s blood would.

You kept this in mind as you finally plunged your fangs into his neck. Felix let out a gasp, tensing beneath you, his hand clutching onto your arm for support. The taste of his blood grazed your tongue, metallic and warm. Delicious.

Fuck, did blood ever taste this good before? You didn’t think so.

The sweet taste consumed you. Intoxicating. Raw. Cascading over your mind in a blanket of pleasure, reveling in the way its effects seeped over your body. You could feel your mind growing sharper, your senses becoming more alert. It was a relief, after weeks of blurry weakness, of being too close to humanity in your thirst. You felt yourself again, the monster you are. The monster you are glad to be.

Here you were powerful. Invincible. And all you wanted was more. More. More.

More of this power, this sensation, this strength. This is what feeding should be. What feeding can give you. Not from a blood bag, nor a helpless prisoner, but from someone you want. Someone you desire. Someone who desires you in return.

It was as you felt Felix’s grip on your arm loosen that you finally broke away, breathing hard as you caught your breath. Felix’s eyes shifted to yours lazily, dazed. Perhaps even delirious. For a moment you feared that you’d taken too much. He blinked slowly, his eyes regaining focus.

Then he smiled. “Shit Y/N…” he began, his voice appearing more of a croak. “That felt really fucking good.”

You grinned, leaning into him and pressing a series of kisses up along his jaw. Felix shivered, allowing his hands to slowly slide up your figure. Wanting.

“Yeah?” You whispered, your lips brushing against his ear. “Then how about we continue where we left off?”

~~~~

The next morning you woke to the sound of your alarm buzzing, sunlight peeking through the opening of your drapes. You heard a low groan next to your ear, quickly becoming aware of the hand wrapped around your waist.

So last night really happened. The reality of your situation dawned on you. You’d both drank from and fucked a human. There was no going back now, you’d completely disobeyed The Society.

Worst of all? You didn’t care. At least, not near as much as you should have.

You shifted to face Felix, seeing his eyes still closed, eyebrows furrowed. “Hey,” you whispered, planting a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “We have to get up. I have class.”

He groaned again in protest, shaking his head and burying his face into the crook of your neck. Between last night's events and the ringing of your alarm, you both only got about two hours of sleep, and that was being generous. This was no problem for you, as while sleep was a luxury, it was not a necessity. The same didn’t go for Felix.

“Come on,” you laughed, worming out of his grasp. “You’ll be fine, I’ll go make us some coffee.”

You rolled out of bed, throwing on Felix’s discarded shirt and heading towards your kitchen. Flicking on the radio, you felt oddly blissful as you grounded the coffee beans into a filter. It had been a long time since there’d been another person in your apartment. It made the space seem less… haunted. No longer lingering with the essence of Chan’s ghost. It felt fresh. New.

Felix emerged from your bedroom, rubbing his eyes sleepily, sporting only his khaki’s from the past day. His gaze met yours and he smiled. “So, I take it my shirt is yours now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, leaning forward over your kitchen counter. Felix bent down, causing you to become nose-level with one another. The close proximity made your heart race.

“Mean,” he murmured, leaning forward to kiss you softly. There was no unchained desire, no promise of more. It was simple, warm. A morning of peace after a night of wildness.

You could get used to this, you thought.

The thought sunk in your chest like a stone. This wouldn’t be as simple as you wanted to be, as you needed it to be. There would be sacrifices to make, and cautions you’d have to adhere to. You had to get the truth out in the open. Better to rip the bandaid off now rather than later.

“Felix, you can’t tell anyone about this.” You said. The smile faded from Felix’s face, and for a moment he looked so… hurt. He stepped back.

“About the feeding? Y/N, I wouldn’t tell anyone what you are, don’t worry about-”

“No, not just the feeding. About us. About any of it.”

Felix opened his mouth to say something, but then quickly closed it. His gaze hardened. “Ah. Got it,” he stated sharply, grabbing his blazer and motioning to the door. “I’ll just head out then.”

“Wait, Felix! No, it’s not like that,” you said, rushing around the kitchen island and reaching for his arm. He turned around to face you, his expression wounded. “Listen, I don’t know how it was with your old neighbors, but here at Hampden things are different. There’s certain rules we have to follow, and what you and I did? Well, that broke about a hundred of them.”

Felix was silent for a moment, then sighed. “Okay… But what do you mean rules? Who’s enforcing them? Hampden?”

“No, it’s bigger than that. There’s a group of us here, a society. There are rules we abide by, and they’re meant to keep us safe. Keep us united,” you explained.

“Like a cult?” Felix asked, and you had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Well, if that helps you, then whatever. Yeah, sure. A cult.”

“Where do you-”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off. “But that’s all I can really tell you, at least for now. Honestly, the less you know, the better. Just for safety’s sake.”

“Oh. Alright,” Felix said, his lips pursed. He wasn’t pleased, that much was obvious.

“I know this sucks, I’m sorry. But if we want to keep doing this-”

“Wait,” Felix interrupted, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “You want to keep doing this? I thought you’d get in trouble?”

You smiled, and were pleased to see the corners of his mouth curve up in return. “I’ve already risked getting myself in trouble.” You trailed your finger along the bare of his chest, feeling the warmth radiating from his skin. He was so alive, so real. And it only made you want him more. Perhaps, that’s why he wanted you as well. You were unpredictable, wild. A challenge.

A match made in hell.

“I dug myself a grave, Lix.” You looked up at him, entranced by the curiosity swimming in his eyes. “Might as well lie in it.”

next chapter

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theimmaterialplace · 3 years

Text

holding on | emily prentiss x reader & spencer reid x reader | ch. 2: falling

Chapter Summary: The morning after the reveal of Emily’s death and a conversation with Spencer.

Contains: mentions of cat-calling and panic attacks, light kissing, grief and mourning.

Word Count: 2.4k

Comments: this fic is my new baby and i will nurture it to its end. this is gonna end up being a long story and emily won't reappear for at least another 25k so there's that! also look i gave a little flashback to their relationship! in case i didn't elaborate enough, spencer and reader are quite close and have known each other since elle left which ill get into in another chapter! so that's why she has some of his clothes and why he's so close to her and latching onto her. reader is going through it rn but she's shoving it aside which isn't healthy and not good in the long run so she'll have to adress it eventually but that's not now! she's kinda numb rn and trying to keep it together for spencer which is going... as well as one would expect.

i think my favorite line in this was "The song ends but the moment doesn’t." and "But all moments have to come to an end."next chapter, we'll be getting the rest of the bau team (yay!) and emily's funeral (💔)! reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! i love hearing feedback even if it’s something small!

also i’m gonna do a taglist for this fic so if you’d like to be added, send me an ask with the username you’d like to be tagged with!

masterlist | read on ao3

What am I now? What am I now?

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

- Harry Styles, "Falling"

When the morning comes, you wake up first on your couch and feel a crick in your neck. The night’s memories rush back to your mind and you immediately feel nauseous. You manage to very carefully separate yourself from Spencer and manage to make it to the restroom in time to vomit.

It’s awful.

You don’t even know why it’s still hitting you so hard when Spencer is the one that should be feeling like this. He’s the one that’s known her for years and you were nothing but a fling for her.

You don’t glance at yourself when you exit your bathroom, already knowing the state you’re in. When you enter your living room, Spencer is still out so you decide to do the next best thing you can for him.

You’re thankful that you already have some leftover ground coffee beans from the day before because you really don’t want to wake him up before you can put a cup of coffee in his hands. Going through the motions of making coffee and then a simple breakfast is calming.

You’re unsure if Spencer will be able to stomach anything if he’s anything like you are now so you make the lightest meal you can. When the coffee machine beeps, you grab two mugs and begin making the coffee the way he likes.

It’s as you’re making your own coffee that you’re interrupted by Spencer calling out your name. You turn around and find him rubbing his eyes and looking a bit better than when he first came in.

“Hey, Spence. I have some coffee if you want some,” you grab his mug at his nod and place it in his trembling hands, “it’s just how you like. Ninety percent sugar and cream and ten percent actual coffee.” A small smile crept onto his face at your joke and you’re glad you’ve managed to make him smile even if it’s just a little bit.

He sips on his coffee and you decide to plate the food that’s still warm onto your dining table. He follows and takes the seat across from you, mumbling his thanks. You both eat in silence for there are no words or fun quips to share with Emily gone.

Spencer is the first to break the silence. “Thank you… Thank you for last night. I couldn’t stay with my team after that. It was just too personal. I know I’ve mentioned it before but I’m the youngest of the team and though they mean well, they tend to baby me. I… I couldn’t handle it so I left them.” He pauses, fingertips tapping in a familiar tune on the ceramic mug, “I didn’t want to be alone and you’re the first person I thought of. I know you know… knew Emily and that you would just be there for me so thank you.”

He looks directly into your eyes as he says this and you know how serious this must mean for him so you reach out for his hand, which he extends for you, and squeeze it in your own. You have to articulate your response properly because you don’t want to scare him off by saying the wrong thing.

Maintaining eye contact, you speak, “I’m glad I was able to be there for you, Spencer. To be the first person you came to means a lot to me. I hope you know I’ll always be there for you, for the small and the big things. While I may not be as close… While I may not have been as close to Emily as you were, I will still grieve for her. Just knowing how much she meant to you is enough for me to know how much a beautiful person she was. From the little glimpses I’ve seen of her and the tidbits you’ve told me over the years, I know this is going to be one of the hardest things for you… and if you let me, I’d like to be there for you.”

He’s like an open book after you’ve told him your resolve, like the book you’ve reread more times you can count and the original copy has been worn down due with some of the passages long gone but memorized in your heart. His eyes are watering again and he’s out of his seat faster than you can comprehend and he lifts you up and his arms wrap around you tightly, as if you’re his lifeline.

He whispers words of gratitude into the crown of your head and you hold him back just as tightly, tears springing to your eyes. You’d do anything to take his pain away and if this is all you can do then you’ll do it willingly.

“I want you here,” his voice is low and wrecked, “I.. I don’t want to be alone. Please. Please don’t leave me. Everyone leaves, Please…”

You look up to him and grab his face gently in your hands, wiping the tears from his cheek as you say, “I’m not leaving, Spencer. I’m right here. I’m here for you always. I promise not to leave you. I’m with you. I’m here.” At this, he looks even more broken and only nods his head, breath hitching and his sobs ceasing for the moment. You know it’s not enough for him so you guide one of his hands to the pulse on your wrist.

“Count.” And he does, his mind focuses on the beat and it calms him; it reassures him you’re still alive.

When the minute is over, he looks significantly more calm and less likely to cry again. He looks at you like he can’t believe you’re really there and you pull him in again. Physical contact is meant to ground people and you only hope this helps him.

A shrill ring interrupts your thoughts and you know it’s Spencer’s because you’ve heard it many times before from him and Emily both.

He lets go of you to answer it and he tenses immediately as he hears whoever it is on the other line. He says a few things in response and his eyes become glassy again. He hangs up only a few moments later and turns to you.

“My team wants me to help inform Emily’s mother of her death so we can start planning her funeral…” He closes his eyes shut and his fingers clench into his palms. Slowly, you walk up to him and unfold his palms and find red, crescent indents on his palms.

“I can drive you…? I know you took the metro here. Let me help, Spencer.” He just nods and you lead him to the bathroom to help tidy him up. You turn the faucet on and hand him his toothbrush, your fingers lingering on Emily’s red one before grabbing your own. It’s a familiar routine and as you finish, you leave to let him use the restroom and wash up while you rack through your closet to find something he's left over to wear for the day.

You manage to find a striped brown button up and matching brown pants while you put on a simple outfit, a grey long sleeve with jeans and a pair of black vans. You knock on the door and he opens it after a moment and takes his clothes from you. You go back to your room to fix up your hair and after a while you deem it acceptable.

As you’re doing your makeup routine, you hear a knock then, “Are you decent?”

“Come in, I’m almost done.” The door opens and you catch his reflection in your mirror. He looks better but the despair that clings to him is obvious to you.

He lets a small smile fill his face and though it doesn’t reach his eyes, you still match it. “I’m surprised you still had this. I had wondered where this outfit had gone but I remember that when I stayed over that night I had to leave immediately and left it here.”

“Well, I wouldn’t just throw it away and I kept forgetting to give it back to you. It’s a good thing otherwise you’d be left in some sweatpants and a Star Trek t-shirt.” He lets out a small laugh at that and you’re grateful you’re able to get him to genuinely laugh.

“Okay, I’m done. We can head out now.” He follows you out of your apartment and into the passenger seat of your car. The ride is silent to Quantico, unlike the usual rides you give him where you play a new genre for him and for him to compare it to his classical music and talk about some facts of the music.

When you finally arrive, you both sit there. He doesn’t want to leave and face reality and you don’t want to be left alone with only the truth to haunt you.

Spencer breaks the silence once again, “Thank you for everything. I don’t know where I would’ve gone last night… If you can, can you pick me up later? I… I can’t be with the team right now. It’s just too fresh.”

“Of course, Spencer. Just send me a text a bit before and I’ll be there.” He nods and gives you a quick hug before leaving and your eyes follow him until he’s nothing but a pinprick in your vision.

Like a switch flipped, you can only think of Emily. It’s not fair that she… that Emily is gone, that’s she’s dead. You never thought this was a probability. She was always such an impervious figure in your mind, a larger than life kind of person. You knew it was a possibility in her line of work but it never crossed your mind that it could actually happen to her. She was a strong woman, never letting anything affect her and you can’t believe she’s gone.

You shouldn’t even feel this strongly for her, you’re not meant to be more than a friend to her but you can’t help but think of her as your lover. Every little moment you’ve shared with her flashes in your mind. One in particular stands out, one that had happened only a month or two ago.

“Ugh, Emily. We’ve gotta go or else tomorrow morning is gonna be hell for the both of us.” You drag her away from the bar and shoot a smile at the bartender who only shakes her head and mouths “have a nice night”.

“ No ,” she whines, “I don’t want to, babe. We were having so much fun. Let’s stay here and dance some more.” She grins at you, taking your hand and pulling you back into the crowd. You let her because you can never say no to her, not when she’s looking at you with those eyes and that smile.

Her mood is infectious and you let her have this one last dance. It’s not even a song you know but you think it might be your new favorite with the way she twirls you around and looks at you with affection and fondness.

Being with Emily is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, even if this is a temporary thing. You would do anything for her, even leave her alone if that’s what she wanted.

The song ends but the moment doesn’t.

“Okay, okay, Em. We really need to go now.” She pouts at you but relents and follows you out of the club.

Before you reach your car, she pulls you in, her hands cradling your face, and she’s looking at you in wonder, “Y’know I can’t believe you’re actually here. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You mean so much to me. I hope you know that.” She leans in and kisses you. You savor every moment of it, feeling her smile against your lips. Like an imp, she grins widely and leaves multiple pecks around your lips, never quite touching.

It’s just you and her in that moment and she’s never seemed more lovely than in that exact moment.

Deciding that her actions are enough, you grab her by the chin and your free arm wraps around her waist so that she’s flush against you and slam your lips onto her own. Every emotion you’ve felt for her is poured into the kiss and you hope she can feel it. It’s passionate and messy and it leaves you wanting more.

She lets out a small moan when you move your mouth to pepper kisses onto her jaw and to suck on her sweet spot, sighing praises into her skin as if they’ll imprint on her, an irrefutable claim.

You’re not sure how much time passes between that moment but you only stop when you hear multiple wolf whistles and she groans before pulling away from you and yells at the offenders, “Shows’ over, you fucks!” Then she turns to you and leers, “We’ll finish this back at my place.”

You’re only able to nod and look at her in awe, “Emily Prentiss… what a woman you are. I’ll never be able to forget you know?”

She smiles even wider at your admission, and beckons you forward and of course you come closer and she admits quietly, “You won’t ever have the chance to. I plan on never letting you go.”

But all moments have to come to an end.

If only that was the truth because she never brought up the conversation the morning after. Whether she actually remembered it and shoved it aside or she genuinely couldn’t remember, you can’t decide what’s worse. You never mention it because you don’t want to ruin something that already works and now… Now you would never have the chance to find out because Emily was dead.

Tears well up in your eyes and you recognize the signs of an oncoming panic attack. It’s with a wet laugh that you realize that you were right, your dramatic thoughts from the night she texted you had come true.

Emily Prentiss would haunt you forever and you’ll let her if it means you’ll never forget what she sounded like or what each gleam in her eye or each smile meant.

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #my writing #holding on

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

Text

Moonbeam (Ezra x Reader) [smut] {Werewolf AU}

Title: Moonbeam Rating: Explicit Length: 6,000 Warnings: Non-graphic description of bodily injury and smut (cunnilingus, doggy style sex, mentions of masturbation). Reader Details: To the best of my knowledge, there are no references to Reader’s physical details, beyond being a bisexual woman. I tried my best to keep it as vague as possible. Notes: So, this is the second lengthy Ezra fic I’ve written this month, but the only one that will see the light of day. Shout-out to @rzrcrst for pre-reading this for me. Werewolves are my niche and I’m absolutely incapable of writing them without creating the lore around their existence. Ezra exudes big werewolf energy (P.S. Javier exudes big vampire energy) and since I’m not really in a fandom until I write a werewolf AU, I present you all with my very own version of space werewolves. Depending on audience reactions, there might be more of this story to tell.

Taglist:@princessbatears @djarin-junk @absurdthirst @hdlynn @legally-a-bastard @opheliaelysia @heather-lynn @sabinemorans @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @pedrospunk @maybege @chews-erotically @katlikeme @lose-eels @youmeanmybrain @theindiealto @irishleesh93

You had heard the rumors, but never once had you believed that they were true. A werewolf living on a moon? Werewolves were the stuff of fairytales. They weren’t real.

They weren’t real.

But someone who had come before you had clearly considered the potential. Why else had someone thought to set up a cleverly concealed steel trap?

The pain was overwhelming. Worse than anything you’d ever encountered before. You were lucky your leg hadn’t snapped in two — your heavy coveralls were your saving grace.

You howled out in pain as you dropped to your knees, trying in vain to pry the trap off your leg. The sharp teeth had bit through the fabric of your coveralls and the dark stain forming told you everything you needed to know about your future. If you didn’t get the trap off soon, you were going to bleed out.

And then you’d become a smorgasbord for whatever creatures lived on this moon. There had to be something terrifying in the forest that had convinced everyone to believe in werewolves.

“Kriff.” You swore, your arms throbbing with effort as you tried yet again to free your leg from the trap. You dropped back onto your ass, before sinking down onto the soft mossy ground beneath you.

At least the stars were out. You could see them through the bareboned trees as they swayed above you in the evening breeze.

The pain wasn’t so bad at a certain point, most likely because of the blood loss. That would do it. That woozy, tingling sensation that had your vision blurring at the edges.

A branch snapped nearby, sending a dull spike of nerves through you. You hadn’t made a study of the flora and fauna on the moon — but that certainly didn’t sound like a small creature.

“Please don’t eat me.” You mumbled, tilting your head to look in the direction of the sound. The filtered moonlight from the crescent moon above barely illuminated the forest around you and your flashlight was just out of reach.

You heard the sound of another branch snapping under foot, “Hello?”

All men are beasts in their own right, but the man that stepped into your line of view seemed an unlikely candidate.

“I do believe that trap was not set to ensnare one such as you,” He drawled out with a honey-sweet cadence as he moved towards you.

“I don’t think it’s broken,” You offered weakly, trying to sit up as he knelt beside you, but your vision blurred harshly and you sank back onto the ground.

“How fortuitous you are that I take my evening stroll through this very copse of trees.” He mused, effortlessly freeing your leg from the steel trap.

“How—“

“You have lost a considerable amount of blood, little lamb. I would be most obliged to offer shelter and succor. These woods are no place to remain alone. One can never know what creatures fresh blood may attract.”

You exhaled shakily as you stared up at the stars above you. He was right — you’d never make it back to your transport alone on your leg. “Promise not to kill me?” You cracked, tilting your head to look at him.

He flashed you a toothy grin, “I promise.”

“What is your name?” You asked as he hoisted you into his arms, with surprising ease.

“Ezra.” He told you, looking down at you. “And what is your name, little lamb?”

“Ezra.” You repeated softly, resting your cheek against his chest as he carried you through the forest. You gave him your own name, feeling a strange warmth wash through you when he repeated it back in that beguiling tone of his.

“Am I right in my assumption that you are the occupant of the transport that arrived just two nights ago.” Ezra questioned quietly.

“Depends on who is asking.” You jested lightly, “I am. Reconnaissance mission for a mining program.”

“Ah,” His grip on you seemed to tighten. “Another greedy venture to strip the moon of its precious lunaxium?”

“I can only assume.” You glanced up at him, “Above my pay grade.”

“You should leave within the week.” Ezra remarked, keeping his sharp gaze focused ahead of him. “It won’t be safe for you.”

“You don’t believe in that stupid story, do you?” You questioned, “Isn’t that just a tale to keep prospectors from coming here?”

“I once believed that.” Ezra muttered, before falling silent for the remainder of the journey to his humble abode.

You had so many questions for your serendipitous savior, but he tended to your leg in relative silence and then left you to rest in his bed.

From what you could tell, Ezra had fashioned a home for himself out of a crashed transport vessel that you could only assume had been his own at one time. Perhaps he’d been like you once upon a time, a drifter picking up odd jobs and landing in bad situations.

Ezra was handsome. The moonlight hadn’t tricked you into thinking that — in the garish light of his bedroom, he was still just as striking. Warm eyes, long lashes, a mess of chestnut hair with a shock of blonde, and a wiry frame.

How long had he been living on Lykaios? Had his vessel crashed on a wayward venture and he’d had no one to come looking for him? Not that anyone would come looking for you either.

Maybe Shiva. They would’ve probably come looking for your corpse just to get what was owed to them.

It was a damn miracle that Ezra had stumbled upon you. How had he even found you? The woods all looked the same.

Sleep came slowly and fitfully. Despite the shot Ezra had given you, your leg was agonizingly painful if you moved at all. Fortunately, there were books within reach — well-loved, with worn pages. You wondered if they had been Ezra’s to start with, or if he’d found someone’s abandoned transport.

He had excellent taste.

You hadn’t seen a stack of Chaucer since you were much younger. His copy of Canterbury Tales had been opened so many times the spine wilted in your palm.

Ezra announced himself with a short knock, before sliding open the durasteel door. “I expected you to be asleep. You had quite the evening, little lamb.”

“I tried.” You made a note of the page you were on before closing the book and sitting it aside on the bedside shelf. “I got distracted by… your collection of novels.”

He chuckled, leaning against the doorframe. “I see you’re getting acquainted with my old oppo Chaucer.”

“I’ll have you know, Chaucer is my friend.” You quipped, drumming your fingers against the cover of the book. “It was nice to retrace old lines.”

“He’s an acquired taste,” Ezra tucked his hands behind his back and stepped into the room. “Youth may outrun the old, but not outwit.”

You smiled a little, “Earn what you can since everything’s for sale.”

Ezra chuckled, shaking his head. “And how true that is.” He gestured grandly towards your leg, “But oftentimes it comes with folly.”

“Is that how you ended up here?” You questioned, “I wanted to ask you last night, but with everything...”

He shrugged, dragging over a trunk and perching on the edge of it. “Five years ago I stood where you stand. They were looking for a new form of clean energy — lunaxium seemed like the answer.” Ezra pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, looking away from you then. “This place is filled with hidden dangers. Once you can put weight on your leg, I encourage you to leave.”

“You could come with me.”

Ezra’s gaze snapped towards you, “No.”

Your brows furrowed together, “Alright.”

“I need to change your bandages,” Ezra exhaled heavily as he rose from the trunk, he turned his back to you as he moved to retrieve the roll of gauze from a shelf.

Your eyes widened as you spotted a twisted scar that ran up the back of his neck into his hairline and vanished down the back of his shirt. You hadn’t noticed it last night while he fussed over you.

“Ezra, why can’t you leave?”

Ezra sighed heavily as he sat down on the foot of the bed, drawing your leg into his lap. “It’s home.” He answered simply, unwinding the bandages. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but this—“ He gestured around him. “It’s mine.”

“And you haven’t gone stir crazy after five years?” You questioned, grimacing as he prodded at your wound. “I was gone for two months on a solo mission once and I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to Shiva again. Even if they did rob me blind during liar’s dice.”

“You get used to solitude.” Ezra glanced at you briefly, before turning his attention to the task at hand. He cleaned the area around the wound, before wrapping fresh bandaging around it. “Once or twice a year, someone like yourself arrives and…”

“And the mythical werewolf eats them?” You jested, sinking back against the mattress as he laid your leg back down on the bed.

“Something like that.” He offered dryly, eyeing at you warily. “There’s a full moon in eleven days. I would advise you not to wait around to discover whether or not it is simply lore.”

Your brows knit together and you sat up, arms curled around your waist. “You say that like there’s a chance it is true. You’ve been here for five years… What have you seen?”

“I have things I must attend to away from here.” Ezra said abruptly, “Rest and I’ll return in a few hours to escort you back to your transport.”

Ezra did little to assuage that sinking sensation that told you that maybe just maybe there were werewolves on Lykaios.

“Before you settled here, what did you do?” You questioned, leaning into Ezra’s side as he kept a firm hand coiled around you for support. “Your transport didn’t offer many clues, outside of your exquisite taste in literature.”

Ezra chuckled, looking at you from the corner of his eyes. “I was a harvester. A damn good one, at that. But seasons get hard, tides turn, allegiances bend. Fell into a bit of a snare with an associate and had to dig my way out.”

“I think we’ve all been there before,” You shook your head. “I enjoy gambling. Nasty habit.” You admitted. “I wasn’t meant to be the one to come to Lykaois. My friend — the one I mentioned before — had been assigned to this mission. They lost it in a dicey bet with me.”

“Dicey?”

“What gambler plays honorably?” You countered. “I cheated.”

“And this friend of yours was meant to come here instead?”

You nodded, “Tried to win it back right up until the moment I took off.” Shiva had been furious that they’d lost and even more furious knowing that you hadn’t played fair. “I’ve heard the stories about Lykaois and I wanted to find out if they were true.”

“One shouldn’t go looking for the stuff of myth.” Ezra drawled out. “In my erstwhile profession, I had a certain predilection for danger. It can be damning.”

“Look, I don’t mean to pry, but… is there a reason you can’t leave?” You stopped abruptly, causing him to stumble slightly. “My transport has life support for three. If there’s someone else you’ve got here — if that’s why you don’t want to leave.”

You could feel Ezra’s gaze bore into your skin.

“I’m not leaving.” You told him, when he made no attempt to answer your question. “I’ll take a day or two to rest, but I’m finishing what I’ve started.”

“It’s not safe.”

“Then why don’t you leave?” You pushed back. “If it’s so dangerous, why aren’t you trying to leave?”

Ezra worked his jaw slowly, before looking towards the sky and sighing heavily. “I’m not the only inhabitant on this moon. Some have been here for much longer than me and they…” He shook his head slowly.

You curled your fingers around his forearm, turning to stare at him. “They’re what?”

“Little lamb, be glad you were found by me and not one of them.” Ezra gritted out, holding your gaze. “Consider your luck and leave before it runs out.”

He wasn’t going to relent. Whatever secrets Lykaois held, he wasn’t going to reveal them to you.

“Will you at least let me give you a few of my books?” You questioned, squeezing his arm tight as you used him to support your weight.

“Depends on what you’re offering.” Ezra retorted, “But we need to keep moving. You need to get your leg up.”

Ezra was entranced with your small collection of books. Like a man starved, he snatched up every book — flipping through its pages with reverence. You couldn’t imagine spending five years without getting your hands on a new book.

You thought he would abruptly leave once he had you safely tucked into your transport — but he lingered.

“Nothing in the world is single; all things by a law divine in one another's being mingle. Why not I with thine?” Ezra read, the words falling from his tongue with a richness that your mind had never been able to give them.

“Shelley?” You questioned, tilting your head to try to get a look at the book he was holding.

“Indeed.” He closed the book and held it to his chest. “Our dear friend Percy had quite a way with words. Overshadowed — and rightfully so — by his beloved wife.”

“I haven’t been able to get my hands on Frankenstein. Not since I was maybe fourteen.” You admitted.

Ezra snapped his fingers, “You should’ve spoken up, little lamb. Mary has kept me company on many lonely nights.”

“I will part with Percy,” You told him, hobbling towards him on your wounded leg. “But only if you are willing to part with Mary.”

He hummed thoughtfully, still clutching the book to his chest. “I will have to consult with her.” Ezra told you with a soft smile, “I have no doubt that she is as tired of my company as anyone would be.”

You reached out and covered his hand with yours, “I will let you reunite the couple for just one night. But you have to promise me that you’ll bring me Frankenstein.”

Ezra’s gaze lowered to where your hand was on his, a faint color rising in his cheeks. “Promise me you’ll leave once books have been exchanged.” He covered your hand with his other hand, squeezing gently. “If you stay, I won’t be able to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?”

“Me.” Ezra breathed out, his dark eyes setting on yours. “I will bring you lunaxium that you can take back to whomever hired you. Warn them from this place and forget it.”

“It’s not that simple.” You found yourself leaning into him for support, “I have to complete testing and analysis. Reports. I can’t just take back a lump of lunaxium and hope for the best.”

A growl like sound rose up in the back of his throat, “Then I’ll do the reports for you. I know more than I ever cared to know of lunaxium and this godsforsaken rock. You are not to venture beyond this transport.”

You pulled your hand away from his, “I’ll do as I please, thank you.”

Ezra gritted his teeth, “Do you have a death wish? Now isn’t the time for obstinance. Not this close to a full moon.”

You blinked at him, “Are you…?”

His expression faltered, fingers twitching against the book before he held it out to you, “Keep it and leave tonight. Please.”

“No.” You shook your head, “I want to know.”

“Among these stories,” He gestured to your shelf of books, “I’m afraid it’s an unimpressive tale.”

“I’m always looking to hear new stories.” You told him, grimacing as you put too much weight down on your leg. “Shit.”

“Please sit,” Ezra urged, moving swiftly to curl his arm around your waist as he guided you towards the makeshift sofa you’d made from a weapon crate and oversized pillows.

He sank down onto the opposite end, hands covering his face as he let out a heavy sigh. “Five years ago, I was just like you. Starry-eyed, devil-may-care.”

“Is that how you see me?”

“Yes.” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “I came here looking for lunaxium like every ill-fated prospector before me. The rumors, the legend, the myth — they made for a tantalizing adventure.” His expression sobered as he stared straight ahead. “It’s painful. Muscles tear, bones shatter, skin stretches.”

Your heart clenched and your stomach roiled at the thought.

“They say the first was a corruption. There are wolves among us, lurking beyond the trees — fearful in their own right of what looms above them. Someone played with fate and made a monster that even Shelley couldn’t have imagined. Lunaxium has no effect on humans, but it calms the beast for awhile.”

Without even thinking about it, you carefully shifted onto your good knee, letting your leg rest over the side of the sofa as you leaned towards Ezra. “This scar.” You said as you gingerly brushed your fingers over the back of his neck.

He tensed, fingers clenching and unclenching in his lap. “I was attacked on my second night here.” He confessed, exhaling slowly. “Forgive me, little lamb. It has been a right smart spell since I have felt another’s touch.”

“You shouldn’t have to live like that, Ezra.” You whispered, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Isolating yourself… Maybe there’s a cure.”

“I can’t leave Lykaois.” He admitted, closing his eyes as he relaxed under the gentle touch of your fingers. “We’re reliant on the lunaxium and whatever this moon is cursed with. I would go mad.”

“Has anyone ever tried to leave?”

“There are stories.” Ezra turned to look at you. “I appreciate your offer. If it weren’t for what I’ve become, I would accept it without hesitation. But I would rather perish in the solitude of my transport than lose my mind somewhere among the stars.”

You trailed your fingers from his hair, along the curve of his jaw. “I could come back.”

“And put yourself in danger twice over?”

“I put myself in danger every time I venture out on a harvest with a ragtag team that might turn their weapons on me. Life is a risk, Ezra.” You held his gaze as you brushed your thumb over his bottom lip. “I can be your connection to the world you’ve lost. Name it, anything — I’ll bring it back here to you.”

“It’s dangerous.” Ezra seemed compelled by the offer. “The others… they’ve been here long enough to lose what’s left of their humanity.”

“Then protect me.” You brushed your fingers through the hair that fell against his forehead.

“There’s so much I miss,” He admitted, his expression matching the way his voice broke as he held your gaze. “Five years… it’s a lifetime to spend alone.” He curled his fingers around your hand, rubbing his thumb against the center of your palm. “I don’t want you to risk yourself for me.”

“I’m not afraid.” You told him, and as foolish as it was — you weren’t.

Ezra’s gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips and your breath caught somewhere in the back of your throat when he started to lean towards you.

He wasn’t the only one who had gone years without knowing a lover’s touch. You played things close to the chest, avoided anything that could ensnare you — except for him.

For all of his warm charm, there was an underlying current of danger that had you feeling like a moth to the flame. He was a monster. A creature made from a curse you hadn’t even believed in.

“Ezra.” You breathed out, leaning in until your nose brushed against his.

He petted his fingers over your cheek as his breath mingled with yours, “You’re hurt.”

“It’s just my leg.” Your lips were a hair’s breadth away from his, “I think we both need this.”

Ezra curled his fingers around the back of your head as his lips crashed against yours. You groaned against his lips and his tongue took the opportunity to slip into your mouth, curling against yours.

He kissed like a man possessed, desperate and all consuming. He hauled you into his lap like you weighed nothing, his hands clawing at your back, your ass, your arms — anywhere he could reach.

He was starved for a connection like this. You had sensed it in the way he gravitated towards you, the way he lingered, the gentle touches as he mended your leg.

You hissed softly as you shifted your weight in his lap, trying not to put pressure on your leg, but it was hard not to in that position.

Ezra cupped your cheek, drawing your focus to his face as his other hand curled tight around your hip. “Do you trust me, little lamb?” He questioned, waiting until you nodded before he started to guide you back lengthways on the sofa.

You scraped your fingernails over his scalp as you slid your fingers through his hair. His knee slotted in between your thighs as he draped himself over you.

Greedy hands grabbed at the back of his shirt, pulling it up to reveal new skin to touch. He was touch starved. Every brush of your fingers against his untouched skin made him rut against your thigh.

Ezra’s mouth worked down the column of your throat, teeth lightly scraping as his tongue darted out to taste your skin. His own hands sliding under your shirt, skimming over your ribs.

You’d missed the feeling of large, rough hands against your skin. It had been more than a few cycles since you’d fallen into bed with a man. A year, maybe two, since you’d been with anyone at all.

“Ezra.” You breathed out as his mouth moved over your covered breast, his tongue seeking out your nipple through the soft fabric.

His eyes snapped to meet yours, pupils blown with arousal as he let out a ragged breath. “I can smell you.” Ezra murmured, his tongue flicking out to tease the peak of your nipple, the fabric darkened from his mouth. “You’re soaked, aren’t you little lamb?” He questioned, a hand wandering down your side, curling around your thigh.

You felt your chest and cheeks burn with a heady mix of arousal and embarrassment. You were slick. You could feel your underwear clinging to your cunt, desire fueled solely by the man crowded onto the sofa with you.

“In my bed,” Ezra whispered, untangling the hand you had in his hair. He brought your hand to his lips, inhaling deeply before wrapping his lips around your first two fingers.

An unabashed moan escaped you, your hips lifting off the sofa as you ground yourself against his knee. You should’ve been ashamed — he had known that you’d tried to put yourself to sleep by burying your face in his pillow and your hand between your thighs.

Ezra released your fingers with a wet pop, his nostrils flaring as he held your gaze. “You didn’t come, did you? Did la petite mort evade you?”

“Yes.” You whispered, tracing your dampened fingers over his scruffy cheek. “I was so close, but it wasn’t enough.”

He smirked at you as he pressed his knee firmly against you. “May I?”

“Please.” You nodded, sinking back against the sofa as Ezra moved down your body. Skilled fingers worked at the fastenings of your pants, peeling the heavy fabric down your thighs before tossing them aside.

He inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of you, “Sit up, little lamb.” Ezra told you, sinking onto the ground in front of you. “Look at you.” He drawled as your thighs parted, your injured leg draped over his shoulder.

You gasped quietly as he stroked his thumb over the damp spot on your underwear, barely brushing over your clit — but even that mere touch was enough to make you tremble.

“Did you think of me?” Ezra questioned, peeling the fabric to the side, sweeping his fingers between your slick folds.

“Maybe.” You retorted, biting down on your bottom lip as you watched him lick your arousal from his fingers.

A quiet growl rose up the back of his throat as he leaned in between your thighs. He held your underwear to the side as he lapped at you, his tongue sweeping between your folds.

Your fingers slid into his hair, grip tightening as he traced the tip of his tongue over your clit.

“Do you need these?” Ezra mumbled, tugging at your underwear.

“No. No.” You shook your head, pitching your hips towards him.

Ezra effortlessly tore away the crotch of your underwear, his mouth descending upon your tender flesh. His tongue delved between your folds, thrusting into your slick core. He grabbed at your thigh, holding you steady as he turned his attention to your clit.

You cried out as he wrapped his lips around that throbbing bundle of nerves. He sucked lightly at it, swirling his tongue over it as his fingers pressed into your cunt.

He didn’t let up, his tongue working over your clit as he worked his fingers in and out of you. His fingers were deliciously thick, dragging in and out of you, brushing over that sweet spot within you that made your entire core quake.

Ezra was good.

His name was heavy on your tongue as you shattered, your inner walls clenching around his fingers, thighs trapping his face between your legs.

“I need…” You panted out, breath hitching as he curled his fingers within you. “Fuck!” You shouted, nearly ripping his hair out as you felt a dam break as your vision blurred from the sudden burst of molten desire. Ezra was undeterred, his tongue sweeping up every drop of you.

“More.” You urged, writhing beneath him. “Ezra, please.”

“I might hurt you.” Ezra warned you, dragging his hands down your thighs as he nipped at the soft flesh of your inner thigh. “I don’t… I don’t know if I control myself.”

“Forget about my leg,” You tugged at his hair. “And fuck me.”

Ezra squeezed your hip and barked out, “On your knees.”

You waited until he let go of you before you gracelessly flopping over on the sofa, knees planted firmly on the cushion as you grabbed at the metal shaft that made up the back of the sofa.

“You smell so fucking good like this,” Ezra breathed out, hands sliding over your bare hips as he crowded close to you. “It’s been so long.” He pressed his lips to the back of your neck, his breath hot against your skin.

“Same.” You laughed breathlessly, reaching behind you to grab at his hair. “I don’t break easy.”

“You’ve never fucked a werewolf before.” Ezra murmured, curling his fingers loosely around your throat, keeping you pinned back against his chest as his cock slid between your oversensitive folds. “Have you?”

“Not yet.” You gritted out, curling your fingers around his forearm, thankful that he was able to keep you upright. He was strong, but the fingers wrapped around your throat were gentle.

The head of his cock caught against your entrance and Ezra’s hips bucked forward, pressing into you.

You moaned, completely caught up in the sensation of his thick cock filling you. The stretch was just this side of too much — especially in this angle.

Ezra pulled back, his cock nearly slipping from you entirely before slamming back into you. His thrusts were brutal — all that strength and power that was hidden in his wiry build. He was reaching spots no one else had ever hit.

He released his tight grip on your hip, slipping his hand between your thighs to stroke your aching clit. You clenched around him in response, making him feel even thicker as he drove into you. Again and again.

Your nails bit into his forearm, leaving crescent moon shapes in his skin as you clung to him. You were so close, perched right on the precipice of another orgasm.

“Come.” Ezra’s fingers curled around your jaw, his lips close to your ear. “I want to feel you come. The sweet clench of your cunt around my cock.” He mouthed a row of kisses down your neck, growling against the crook of your neck as your body obeyed him.

He didn’t relent, even as your body pulsed around his cock. “Fuck.” He grunted out, his teeth scraping your skin.

“Ezra.” You moaned out, your eyes falling closed as you basked in the overwhelming sensation of him fucking into you.

His grip loosened at your jaw as he started to slide out of you, but you reached behind you, grabbing at his ass — desperately trying to keep him right there.

Something snapped. Some frayed cord of control that he had been clinging to.

You grabbed at the back of the sofa for support as he roughly grabbed at your hips. He bottomed out once, twice, three times before he growled out your name and came.

Ezra curled his arm around your waist, keeping you pinned to him as he rearranged the two of you. He kept the softening length of his cock buried within you as he sank down onto the sofa with you resting back against his chest.

“You’re very strong,” You mumbled, scratching your nails through the hair on his forearm as you looked down at the arm he had tightly curled around you.

He huffed, a throaty chuckle escaping him as he rested his forehead against your shoulder. “One perk of this damnable curse.” He brushed his thumb over your stomach gently.

“Is the sex a perk too?” You questioned, closing your eyes as you leaned back against him. “Because, I’m not sure I want to leave at all now.”

“I wouldn’t know.” Ezra kissed your shoulder. “I’ve kept my distance. From the others.” He sighed heavily. “You don’t want to become like me, little lamb.”

“I never said that I do.” You pointed out.

“No, I suppose you didn’t.” He shifted beneath you, whispering a quick apology when you whimpered at the movement.

“I’m okay.” You promised, trailing your fingers up the side of his thigh. “Overwhelmed.”

“Two days.”

“Hmm?”

“You can safely stay for two more days, but then you must leave. It gets harder to maintain this the nearer we draw to the full moon.” Ezra told you, nuzzling at the crook of your neck.

“Two days.” You agreed solemnly.

Ezra returned just after nightfall with a stack of research notes and his well-loved copy of Frankenstein.

“Did you know she dedicated herself to getting her husband’s works published.” You mused, looking up from the notes on lunaxium to watch Ezra as he consumed Percy’s book of poems.

“Hmm?”

“Mary.” You explained. “As accomplished as she was, she also worked to ensure her husband’s writing would be read.”

“Indeed.” Ezra tucked the red ribbon into the page he was reading and sat it aside. “I believe their romance blossomed on her mother’s grave, no? A rather odd pair.”

“His works are dreadfully romantic, for such a macabre couple.” You pointed out, flipping over another page of notes, copying down a comment on your own notations.

“The sunlight claps the earth, and the moonbeams kiss the sea: what are all these kissings worth, if thou kiss not me?” Ezra recited, drumming his fingers against the cover. “I had forgotten that was dear Percy.” He sank back against the wall, pushing fingers through his unruly hair. “I miss the sea.”

“I’d bring it back in a bottle if I could.” You told him, chewing on your bottom lip. “I meant what I said before. I can come back.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, moonbeam.” He let the word slip off his tongue like it was sugar-sweet. “You will grow bored of the to-and-fro.” He pursed his lips. “Though I am much appreciative of the offer. You should go back to your friends.”

“I have one friend in this galaxy Ezra and oftentimes I’m certain they want to ring my neck.” You shook your head. “You deserve to have a friend too.”

“I will never be able to leave,” He reminded you. “And you can never stay.”

“There’s still an in-between.” Your brows rose hopefully. “A new moon, perhaps? When the moon is there, but not visible.”

“You’re persistent.”

“I’ve been told that before.” You smirked a little. “What would you like me to bring back when I return after the full moon?”

Ezra exhaled heavily, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “I would be forever indebted to you if you might get your hands on a copy of War & Peace. Dreadfully long, but I hunger for some longevity in my literature.”

“Done.”

He snapped his fingers, “Cheese.”

You arched a brow. “I have cheese.”

“Real cheese?” Ezra corrected. “That wretched aero cheese is nauseating.” He blanched, watching you as you rose from your seat.

You hobbled out of the room, into the corridor where the hyperfreeze unit was mounted in the interior wall beside the coolant system. You returned moments later with a block of Reggianito.

“You’re in luck.” You said, sinking down onto the floor beside him. “I have a hook-up on Sector Block G7.”

Ezra broke off a piece and popped it into his mouth, sinking back against the wall with a satisfied moan. “It will be safe for you to return in a fortnight.”

You slapped his leg playfully, “You’ll let me return if I bring cheese?”

He grinned and continued. “If you come then, you’ll have a fortnight to stay, should you choose to.”

“That should give me enough time to find War & Peace for you and settle my debts.”

Ezra took another bite of cheese, before passing it back to you. “Do they still make those honeysticks?” He questioned. “Little tubes with honey collected from…” He squinted, “I can’t remember the planet.”

“I can look.” You wrapped the cheese back in the cloth, before sitting it aside. “How will you be when I return?” You questioned.

“A little worse for wear,” Ezra shrugged a shoulder, resting his hand on your thigh. “The lunaxium helps.”

“Is it… is it like a drug?”

“I suppose.” Ezra dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. “There’s this hunger,” He explained, knocking his fist against his sternum. “This clawing sensation. It gets worse closer to the full moon. I lose my mind.” He shook his head. “I tried to wean myself off two years ago. Just to feel something.”

“What happened?” You rested your hand over his.

“It triggered the beast.” He answered with a frown. “Middle of the cycle and violent.” Ezra tilted his head to look at you. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” You shook your head slowly, interlacing your fingers with his. “Maybe this will be good for you. Help you keep your humanity.”

“How so?”

“The others, the ones that were already here.” Your brows furrowed together as you turned to stare at him, “Did they lose their humanity because they lost touch with other humans?”

Ezra blinked, “You, moonbeam, are a clever one.”

“I read a lot.” You smiled at him, “And you’re in luck — I have always loved monster stories.”

#pedro pascal x reader #ezra x reader #ezra (prospect)#ezra (prospect) x reader

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stovetuna · 4 years

Text

This is for @bardingbeedle who yelled at me in the tags and then on messenger and ultimately inspired me to write some “lorge soft steve” and tbh who am I to refuse. (also high-key inspired by this masterpiece of fanart I RBed [again] earlier today)

(takes place shortly after the events of Avengers Assemble episode 2x07, aka the best fic none of us ever wrote)

(heed the READ MORE!)

***

Tony is hustling from one meeting to the next, all but literally running into the kitchen for a cup of afternoon coffee, when he spies Steve Rogers bent over the communal living room coffee table. That in and of itself isn’t exactly outside the realm of normal Steve Rogers activities—the man does love a good brood, even if he won’t admit it and doesn’t do it as often as he used to.

But Tony wracks his brain for possible reasons why Steve would be hunched up around the shoulders like he’s expecting a body blow any minute and keeps coming up empty. Not even fresh coffee makes his synapses fire faster. Did they forget his birthday? Impossible. Did someone send Captain America hate mail? Uh, doubly impossible, especially because Tony’s got lawyers screening their mail for that kind of stuff (they’ve got more than enough pressure in their day-to-day lives, time-slip dinosaurs and age regressions notwithstanding).

Maybe Steve found a piece of upsetting news, or some fact of modern history that isn’t sitting well with him? That’s a lot more likely.

Before he can remind himself that Pepper’s waiting in his office to put him on a call with the president of MIT—something about a commencement speech, if memory serves—Tony is sauntering into the living room, nonchalant, tongue already prickling with some smart remark. He’s got it all written out in his head like a perfect line of code up until the moment he’s standing in front of Steve and sees the expression on his face.

“Whoa, who ran over your puppy?”

Tony winces, wishing for the millionth time that his mouth and his brain could work together simultaneously, but no. Worse, Steve doesn’t even answer him—he just frowns harder, if that’s even possible, and folds in on himself like his shoulders alone don’t take up half the length of the massive couch. Tony lowers the hand holding his coffee and blinks.

“Steve?”

“Oh!” Steve jumps upright, and quick as a flash moves something vaguely folder-shaped behind his back. “Tony! I didn’t hear you walk in—don’t you have a meeting right now?”

Something in Tony’s chest squeezes at the sight of that smile and at Steve’s impeccable attention to detail. But really, ever since the incident with the Time Stone, when he’d jolted back into his adult body and come to in Steve’s arms, he’s felt completely knocked off-balance. Now everything about Steve Rogers—the man, not the superhero—is a revelation. Every smile, every word, every look has Tony tripping over his own feet, tongue, thoughts. He may be back in his adult body, but he’s never felt more like a prepubescent teenager with a crush, fidgeting in place under Steve’s gaze.

“It got postponed,” he lies, because whatever has put that pinch between Steve’s eyebrows is way more important right now. “What’s up?”

“Nothing!” Steve replies, too loud and too quickly. Tony gives him a look. Steve flushes, shrinking in on himself even further, like he wants the couch to devour him. “Uh, nothing important. Just an anniversary I forgot about.”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to frown. He likes to think he’s got a solid mental calendar of important dates for all of his teammates memorized at this point—Natasha’s move-in, Bruce’s lab incident, Sam’s SHIELD acceptance, Steve being found in the ice—but none of those are today.

“Got room for one more?” Tony asks, nodding at the scant space next to Steve on the couch when the man gives him a questioning look. Steve’s cheeks immediately go a charming shade of pink, which churns the coffee in Tony’s empty stomach with a vengeance. Steve shifts to press himself against the arm as Tony moves to sit down next to him, almost crushing the folder Steve had hidden earlier in the process. There’s a gasp, and a lightning-quick hand, and then Steve, pale and breathless, is holding a manila folder against his chest like it’s the secret to the Super Soldier Serum.

It’s weird—Tony knows Steve trusts him, and vice versa. They wouldn’t have solved the riddle of the Time Stone if they didn’t trust each other. So to sit next to Steve, who’s gone from morose to terrified in the three minutes since Tony walked into the room and feel a wall between them is jarring. And upsetting. He’s only been nursing this crush for a few days, and Steve’s not that perceptive…is he? Maybe he is. Maybe this is Steve weeding out Tony’s feelings before they’ve even had a chance to grow.

Tony shakes his head at the thought. No, Steve’s a lot of things, but cruel isn’t one of them.

“Care to share with the class?” he asks, gently so he doesn’t spook Steve. It seems to work: Steve relaxes, tension falling from his shoulders as he eases into Tony’s presence. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, but keeps the folder pressed securely against his sternum. Tony tries hard not to steal a glance at the way Steve’s shirt pulls across his broad, thick chest as he breathes.

“It’s nothing.”

“Cap, if it was nothing, you wouldn’t be trying to Honey-I-Shrunk-Myself into the couch right now.”

Steve Rogers in active wear doesn’t cut quite the same figure as Steve Rogers in full Captain America regalia, it’s true, but that doesn’t mean he’s small. Like this, he’s just as large and has just as much presence as he does in uniform; it’s just…more human. Less Captain, more Steve. Both are devastating in their own way, but only Steve—friendly, blushing, awkward, unassuming Steve—makes Tony acutely aware of the distance between their bodies, down to the last electrified hair.

Catching his own breath, Tony puts his full mug on the coffee table and drops his hands into his lap, turning his head to watch Steve chew on whatever words are fighting to come out. Be patient, he tells himself. Whatever this is, Steve’s struggling with it, and Tony can have some tact when he wants to.

Finally, Steve closes his eyes and sighs. When he lowers his hands, the folder goes with them. Tony glances at the cover and almost swallows his tongue.

“Is that—?” Steve makes a noncommittal sound, like a ‘yes’ but softer, uncertain, like he’s not sure Tony’s reaction is a good one. Tony swallows his excitement with a wince. “Is that the Project Rebirth file? I told Fury to give it to you a long time ago, but I wasn’t sure he did.”

Tony is so preoccupied looking at the folder he doesn’t hear Steve’s gasp or notice his eyes lock onto him. “He did,” Steve replies quietly after a pause. “But that’s isn’t…that’s not what this is about.”

That’s kind of a surprise. The sudden appearance of the Project Rebirth file would explain Steve’s face and body language, but if it’s not that…

Steve hands the entire folder over to Tony without another word.

“Uh,” Tony gapes, too awestruck to achieve any kind of higher brain function.

“Look at the date,” Steve says. It’s not an order, just a gentle request, but it doesn’t prevent a shiver from rippling down the length of Tony’s spine. If he was hyperaware of the space between their bodies before, it’s even worse now with Steve leaning every-so-slightly toward him and reaching out a hand to point directly at the date written on the faded label.

22 June 1943

Tony blinks. “It’s the anniversary…of you?” He opens the folder without a second thought, and the first thing he sees is a picture of Steve. There are other things in the file—sheaves of what look like medical reports, heavily redacted memos, and carbon copies of typed letters—but the only thing Tony can focus on is Steven Grant Rogers circa 1943. The Steven Grant Rogers of before.

He’s touching the photo before he can stop himself, being so, so careful as he traces the narrow shape of the man in the photograph while the real, supersized thing sits next to him.

“It’s the first time I’ve really had a chance to sit and think about what it was like, before,” Steve says, unprompted. “Everything happened so fast once I got the serum, I didn’t have time to just…take it all in. And then I went into the ice and—well. You know the rest.”

All skin and bones, this man, back then. But the jut of his jaw is the same; the serum didn’t change that, or the flinty stubbornness in Steve’s eyes, or the proud set of his shoulders, just daring the world to try and fuck with him. Tony smiles—Steve before the serum is like a matchstick, short and thin and always one spark away from bursting into flame. He really didn’t change a bit.

When Tony finally looks up from the photo (not gazing, of course not), he sees Steve’s expression has gone pinched again, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.

“Alright, there’s that face again. Out with it, Cap.”

Steve really shouldn’t bite his lip—it’s bad for Tony’s health. But Tony’s comment does get him to smile a little bit, which is good. “I guess…it’s been over seventy years since I got the serum, but most days I still feel like that skinny guy in the picture.” Tony watches him as he speaks, taking in the faraway look in Steve’s eyes, the shrinking posture, the downward turn of his mouth—who says I can’t be observant, Tony thinks—and wishes he and Steve were the kind of friends who hugged outside of catastrophic cosmic events. God knows it looks like Steve could use one, as wound up and tense as he is right now.

“I’ve broken so many things by accident because I keep forgetting I’m this, now,” he says, gesturing broadly at himself with one hand. Frowning, Steve uses that same hand to brace his forehead, elbow dropping down onto his thigh. The man is the picture of misery, and Tony aches to comfort him. It’s a physical pull in the pit of his stomach, urgent and needy—like if he doesn’t get his arms around Steve Rogers right this second, something important inside him is going to malfunction.

Tony shoves his hands under his thighs and nods. “Dr. Erskine could turn you into a super soldier,” he says softly, “but he couldn’t erase the first 27 years of your life.” He doesn’t speak his next thought aloud—that if there was in fact a way to erase those years, Tony would have signed up for the very first clinical trial. It’s a grim thought, and not something Steve needs to hear right now, but it’s been on Tony’s mind ever since his brief return to adolescence, and it’s a hard one to shake.

But what Steve heard seems to help. He peeks at Tony through his fingers and swallows loud enough even Tony can hear it.

“Yeah,” he rasps, “something like that.”

“What else?”

“What?”

“What else is bugging you? About this?”

Steve lowers his hand and stares at Tony. Stares. It’s such a feeling, being stared at by Steve Rogers, Tony can feel the heat climbing up from underneath his t-shirt. Even the arc reactor feels a bit warmer in his chest.

“How could you tell?”

“You’re still doing your level-best impression of a Shrinky Dink, Cap,” Tony replies. “Kind of hard not to notice.”

“I have no idea what that is,” Steve laughs, a hoarse, dry sound, “but you’re not wrong. I guess…I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words.”

“Try.”

Seriously, when Steve looks at him like that—like he did when Tony soared through the air as Iron Kid, all awe and pride and warmth—Tony feels capable of anything. Anything. He’d bottle that feeling, if he could, just like he’d bottle the color of Steve’s hair in the afternoon light coming in through the living room windows right now, all warm, pale yellows shot through with gold. If the photo in the file were in full color, Tony would bet his fortune Steve’s hair would be the same shade it is now.

Because Steve Rogers has always been perfect. Damn him.

“I still feel small,” Steve says, and any thoughts of hair and perfection derail abruptly. Looking into the middle-distance past his nose, he continues, “I don’t fit in this body. That doesn’t make sense, but—it’s like the super soldier is a mold, and I’m just there rattling around inside it, too small to fit. Does that—does that make any sense?” He looks at Tony imploringly, begging him with his eyes to understand. Tony feels that tug again, worse now, to wrap his arms around Steve and hold him tight. Call it returning the favor for the other day with the Time Stone, call it acting on his crush, whatever.

No one so large has ever looked as small as Steve Rogers does right now.

“It does,” Tony croaks.

“Really?”

“Really. I mean, how do you think I feel inside the suit?”

Steve makes a sound at that—not a whimper, not a gasp, but something hovering between the two that splits Tony’s heart right down the middle. “I never thought of it that way,” he whispers. “But that’s it. That’s exactly it.” Visible relief fills Steve’s lungs and makes his entire body go lax, leaning closer to Tony in the process. Tony, of course, is hyperaware of Steve’s size—everyone except Thor and Hulk is small compared to him—but now he’s equally aware of who’s operating the Cap-suit, so to speak.

“The only difference is, I can take my super-suit off,” Tony says, pinching the underside of his own thigh to cut off a laugh—Steve hasn’t seen The Incredibles yet—and continues, “you can’t. That’s bound to make a guy feel uncomfortable, even you, Mr. ‘I can handle anything you throw at me.’” He elbows Steve a little, good-naturedly, for emphasis, and gets a full, beautiful smile for his efforts.

God. Skinny or huge, Steve Rogers is gorgeous. It really shouldn’t be allowed.

“Yeah, good point.” Face still split by a smile—I put that there, Tony preens—Steve leans against the back of the couch and sighs. “There are things I miss, though. About being small. I didn’t think I did, until…” He glances at Tony, then, and there’s no missing the blush creeping up his neck.

“Until?”

“The other day,” Steve replies. “When you de-aged, and I—when we—” Tony bites his tongue so hard he’s pretty sure he tastes blood. Don’t interrupt. Let him get it out. Steve laughs breathily. “When I hugged you, I was so glad I was in a position to protect you, physically, like that. But later on I kept thinking about how much I miss being the protected one, sometimes. Not always, but. Sometimes.” Steve looks at the photo and sighs. “I keep thinking about what it felt like when ma looked after me when I was sick, or when Bucky put himself between me and the bigger guy because he knew I couldn’t take another hit…sure I resented it a little, being so weak, but I liked…that.”

“You liked being cared for.”

The look Steve levels at Tony could drive away a storm.

“Yeah,” he husks. “I did.”

“And now that you’re—” Tony waves a hand at Steve’s everything, “—this, you think you don’t, what, deserve care?”

“Maybe?” Steve blinks. “I don’t know.”

“Cap—Steve,” Tony says, putting his hands palms-up in his lap so Steve can see all of him. No threat, no judgment. “Everyone wants to feel cared for. It’s human nature. And just because you’re superhuman doesn’t mean you’re inhuman.”

Damn if those therapy sessions Pepper forced him into aren’t paying off big time right now. If the sheen in Steve’s eyes is anything to go by, Tony’s hit the nail right on the head.

“Oh,” he breathes.

“Yeah,” Tony smiles. Butterflies be damned, he moves the project file onto the coffee table next to his now-cold mug and turns toward Steve. Slowly, he opens his arms. “C’mere,” he says, so quiet only Steve would hear if anyone else was around. As it is, they’re alone in the tower, and Steve doesn’t hesitate—one moment Tony’s arms are empty and the next he’s got 240 pounds of solid muscle curling into his chest and Steve’s tucking his big head under Tony’s chin like the world’s neediest Bernese mountain dog.

Thankfully, Tony’s arms are just long enough to fit all the way around Steve’s massive shoulders. And even if they weren’t, he’d find a way to make it work.

Knees knocking together, feet brushing up against each other on the carpet, Steve shifts and adjusts until he can wrap his arms around Tony’s waist. Once he settles in, he sighs right into the notch at the base of Tony’s throat. “Thank you, Tony.”

“Anytime, big guy,” Tony replies, softly with a warm smile he thinks Steve can’t see.

#bardingbeedle #steve rogers #tony stark #pre-getting together #stevetony #stony #stony fic #superhusbands #rachel writes fic #HAPPY JUNE 22 #KINDA #ignoring the fact that I'm posting this at 0130 on June 23 :3 #insecure steve rogers #insecure tony stark #tony and I see the same therapist lol #stovetuna writes #and yes 22 June is apparently the MCU date of Project Rebirth #PERFECT TIMING

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440mxs-wife · 3 years

Text

New Recruit - Part 1

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Lt. Maggie Parker (OFC). Other Characters: Cmdr Spock, Lt. Nyota Uhura, Lt. Ruthie Warner (OFC), Ensign Miranda Nelson (OFC)

Word Count: 4040+

Warnings: None

A/N: This is my first attempt at a fic outside of the Supernatural fandom. I have @spacedancer1701 to thank for that little nudge. :) This particular offering got away from me a bit, so I split it in two. Enjoy, and happy reading!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lieutenant Margaret Parker scanned the crowd as she waited for her turn to report to her assignment. She was one of six new recruits scheduled to board the shuttle that would take her to her next duty station as science officer aboard the USS Enterprise. The lieutenant grinned to herself, barely able to contain her excitement. The flagship of the Fleet. I can't believe this is happening, she thought.

The lieutenant then looked at her watch and frowned. She didn't want to board the shuttle without saying last goodbyes, but she could not be late. She wished that her parents could be here to send her off, but they've been gone for six years now. Her brothers had their families, so they couldn't make it either, due to work and school. This meant no immediate family to say goodbye before she left for her five-year mission.

However, there was one person she really wanted to make sure and say good bye to. Her roommate, best friend and almost-sister, Ruthie Warner. It was Ruthie who had supported her during her Academy years, helped with her studies and made sure she had some fun as well.

The two of them were well-known for their tag-team method of fleecing new recruits at Rocky's Bar by hustling games of 8-ball. Every year, the bar held an 8-ball tournament. Every year for the past four it had come down to Ruthie versus Maggie, as she was called by friends and family. Some of the time Ruthie won, and sometimes Maggie won, but they were always #1 and #2.

"I'm here! I'm here! Don't leave yet!" she heard as Ruthie came running towards her. The two women wrapped each other in a fierce hug, tears threatening for both of them. "You take care of yourself, you hear me, Lieutenant Maggie Parker, Science Officer for the USS Enterprise?" Ruthie whispered hoarsely.

"I will, I promise. You do the same, Lieutenant Ruthie Warner, Head Nurse of the USS Pegasus," Maggie chuckled dryly. "Love, you Sis," Maggie whispered.

"Love you too, Sis. Now get going," Ruthie ordered as she playfully pushed Maggie towards the shuttle's passenger loading area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The energy waves of the transporter beams faded away, leaving Lt. Parker standing firmly on the pad. Waiting to greet her and the other recruits were Captain James T Kirk, First Officer, Cmdr. Spock and Chief Engineer, Montgomery Scott.

Maggie stepped down from the transporter pad and handed the captain a PADD with a copy of her orders and all of her information. "Lt. Margaret Parker, reporting for duty, Sir," she announced.

"Welcome aboard, Lieutenant. At ease, please," Capt. Kirk replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. She waited while he accessed a copy of her orders on the PADD in his hand.

"All righty, Lt. Parker, you are cleared to report to Dr. McCoy in the MedBay for your incoming physical. After that, someone will show you to your quarters," Kirk explained. "Good to have you aboard, Lieutenant." With a smile and a wink, the captain left the transporter room.

"Please follow me, Lt. Parker and I will show you where the MedBay is," said Commander Spock.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The doors to the MedBay slid open, and Cmdr. Spock strode over to a strikingly handsome dark-haired man with sharp, hazel eyes. "Dr. McCoy, this is Lt. Margaret Parker, here for her initial physical examination. Lieutenant, when you are finished, I will have someone escort you to your quarters. Excuse me," Spock turned and left the MedBay.

"Well, Lt. Margaret Parker, welcome to the Enterprise," remarked Dr. McCoy. "Hop up here on the biobed and we'll get this started," he ordered.

"Maggie," she said as she maneuvered herself up onto the biobed.

"Beg pardon?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"Maggie. Short for Margaret, in case you were wondering. It's a family name," Maggie explained.

"Oh. Well, Maggie, let's get this show on the road. I've got a mountain of paperwork to sift through," McCoy grumbled.

"Yes, sir," Maggie said softly as Dr. McCoy gave her an initial scan with his tricorder.

Dr. McCoy was about to give Lt. Parker her final assessment when two members of the engineering team walked in. One of them was holding her head, and looked almost ready to pass out. It took both her co-worker and Dr. McCoy to help her up to sit on the edge of the biobed.

"I'll be right back over, Lt. Parker, so just sit tight," Dr. McCoy called over his shoulder. Turning his attention back to his new patient, he began his examination. After a few minutes, he left the area to get what he needed to treat the young engineer.

While Maggie waited for Dr. McCoy to come back, she looked all around the MedBay to acquaint herself with her surroundings. Her attention landed on the engineer brought in about ten or fifteen minutes ago by her co-worker, who had already returned to duty.

The young lady was swaying a bit from side to side, holding her head. Suddenly, she leaned over too far and was about to fall off the edge. Maggie jumped up and rushed over to the engineer to catch her before she could cause further injury to herself.

"Whoa, easy there, I've got you. Let's get you set back up on here. So what happened that brings you down here?" Maggie asked. She had a suspicion that since the girl had a head injury, it could possibly be a concussion.

"I was down in Engineering, repairing a machine when something exploded and knocked me back," she explained.

"Did you hit your head?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, I did. Can I please lay down? My head really hurts and I'm so tired," she begged.

"No, honey, I need you to stay awake. You might have a concussion, and if you do, going to sleep is not a good idea," Maggie replied. "My name is Lieutenant Margaret Parker, but you can call me Maggie. What's your name?" she asked.

"Um....I'm Ensign Miranda Nelson," she responded.

"Nice to meet you, Ensign Nelson. Or, is it okay if I call you Miranda? Anyway, today's my first day here, and I can already tell it won't be boring around here. So how long have you worked in Engineering, Miranda?" Maggie kept asking Ensign Nelson questions to help keep her oriented and from going to sleep. Every so often, Maggie would interject pieces of information from her life into the conversation.

Dr. McCoy checked the hypospray to make sure it was the right one, and returned to the main patient area. Maggie was now sitting with Miranda, with her arm around the ensign's shoulder. McCoy took a few minutes to observe the situation currently in play with the beautiful lieutenant.

From the moment she stepped into his MedBay, McCoy knew Lt. Parker was different from any other woman he'd met thus far in his life. She had bright, expressive hazel eyes, and he could see a bit of mischief in them. Her hair was a light chestnut brown, curly and was just long enough to brush the top of the collar on her uniform.

Maggie had a gentleness about her, which was obvious to McCoy from his observations of her conversation with Ensign Nelson. She had a soothing voice and refrained from showing frustration with Miranda's repetitive requests to go to sleep. Maggie looked around and when she locked eyes with McCoy, he returned to Ensign Nelson's biobed to step in and take charge of the situation.

"Well, Lieutenant, I hope I haven't been replaced as CMO for this case, now have I?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"No, sir! Not at all! This is Ensign Miranda Nelson, who almost fell off the biobed, but I got to her in time. She's complaining of a headache and really, really wants to go to sleep," Maggie explained.

"So, why shouldn't I give her a painkiller and send her back to her quarters for some rest?" McCoy inquired.

"Because she said she was repairing a machine in Engineering and there was a small explosion. She said it knocked her off of her feet and she hit her head. My concern would be that she may have a concussion, and it is therefore inadvisable to allow her to sleep," Maggie answered.

McCoy nodded and continued to examine Miranda while Maggie shared her hypothesis. "Well, Lieutenant, it turns out that your suspicions were correct, Ensign Nelson does have a concussion," he said. He motioned for Nurse Chapel to step back over to his position and gave her some treatment instructions for the ensign.

Maggie went back over to her biobed and resumed her sitting position while she waited for Dr. McCoy's assessment of her physical condition. "Thank you for your help with Ensign Nelson. Had you not been here, she would've sustained further injuries," he remarked.

"You're welcome, Dr. McCoy," Maggie murmured.

Returning to doctor mode, "Your vital signs look good, vision perfect. In general, you're in tip-top shape, Lieutenant. Except," he ran the tricorder along her limbs to check the joints. "You have a bit of tendon damage in your right wrist and right elbow. Are you a tennis player by chance?" he guessed.

Maggie smiled and shook her head. "Nope, I don't play tennis, Dr. McCoy," she replied.

"Leonard," he added.

"Huh?" she asked.

"My name is Leonard. You're Maggie, I'm Leonard," he explained. "Forget it, never mind," he grumbled. What the hell am I doing?!? he thought. Is this--Am I--FLIRTING?

Before he had a chance to answer the last question he asked himself, Maggie was asking him what he could do to fix it. She had felt some tenderness in those joints, and was hoping for some relief. Besides, it had recently kept her from doing any real damage at the tables against the new recruits. "Doc? Doctor? Dr. McCoy!" Maggie's voice finally broke through his mental fog.

McCoy shook his head as if to clear it. "Sorry, darlin', didn't mean to check out on you there. I'll just go get a hypo for the pain, then we'll get on to fixing that tendon damage," he told her.

A couple of minutes later, he returned with a hypospray and another device in hand. "I must say, Lieutenant, I'm impressed with your diagnostic capabilities," McCoy smiled at her.

"Well, Doctor, it helps to have a sister for a roommate. She's getting ready to serve as Head Nurse aboard the USS Pegasus. Staying up all those late nights helping her study must have stuck in my head after all," Maggie grinned back.

"So you got to room with your sister, that was convenient," McCoy commented.

"Actually, my roommate became my best friend, and we've been through so much together, we're like sisters. Her name is Lieutenant Ruthie Warner," Maggie explained.

"Friendships like that are rare and priceless. Do whatever's necessary to preserve it," McCoy advised.

"I fully plan on doing that, Doctor. I remember when we first met at Rocky's Bar, near the Academy, one night over a rack of 8-ball," Maggie mentioned.

"You shoot pool?" McCoy asked in surprise. Well, damn if that's not sexy. Wait, what? he thought.

Maggie chuckled. "Yes, Doctor, I sure do. 'M pretty good at it if I may say so myself. Anyway, I'm sure that the tendon damage you detected is because I'm right-handed when I play. In fact, the twinges I've been feeling lately have seriously affected my game," she muttered.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Let's see what we can do to alleviate some of that pain," McCoy said. Maggie tilted her head to the right to give him access to her neck for the hypospray. After administering the painkiller, McCoy gently rubbed the injection site to ease the sting. Then he took the other device and slowly passed it over her wrist then her elbows.

"That should take care of mending those tendons. Now, all you have to do is keep a cue stick out of your hand for about a day or two," McCoy smirked.

Maggie chuckled. "I'm sure I'll have plenty of work to keep me busy to where that won't be a problem," she grinned. She appreciated his calm bedside manner and the feel of his hands on her neck after the hypo injection. When he smiled, there were these adorable little crinkles around his eyes. What am I thinking? she admonished herself. You just got here and you're already making goo-goo eyes at the doctor? Didn't you learn your lesson with Ryan? you chided.

At that moment, a slender, dark-skinned woman with long hair entered the MedBay and strode over to you. "My name is Lt. Nyota Uhura, and I'm the Communications Officer. Cmdr. Spock sent me to escort you to your quarters, if you're ready. That is, if Dr. McCoy is finished with his examination," Uhura remarked.

"Everything checks out, Lt. Uhura, her physical exam is complete. I'll send my final report over to Jim once I'm finished with it," McCoy replied.

Maggie hastily climbed down from the biobed, suddenly anxious to flee the MedBay and its attractive CMO. She began an almost speed-walk to the door when Dr. McCoy called out to her. She turned to face Dr. McCoy. "Yes, Doctor?" she asked.

"Once your tendons are healed, I'm looking forward to splitting a rack of 8-ball with you," McCoy gave her a wink and a smirk.

"Until then, Dr. McCoy," Maggie replied softly, giving him a small smile. She continued her retreat from the MedBay to catch up to Lt.Cmdr Uhura.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"First day, hmm?" Uhura asked.

"Yep, kinda nervous, too," Maggie admitted.

"I understand that, but don't be. This is the best crew I've ever worked with, and I'm sure you'll be a fantastic addition. Seems like you've already made an impression on Dr. McCoy," she remarked slyly.

"Oh? Why do you say that?" Maggie asked.

"Well, he's usually kind of grumpy, and he's not exactly known for socializing much. But he seemed to have warmed up a little, from what I saw," Uhura answered.

"I dunno," Maggie shrugged. "I didn't get the 'grumpy' impression at all. He was fairly sociable towards me, and we had some pleasant conversation. He seems very dedicated to his patients," she affirmed.

By this time, they had reached the door to her quarters. Once inside, Uhura gave Maggie the grand tour. She explained to Maggie how everything worked and where to find everything, in case it was arranged a bit differently than on her last assignment.

"Things are little informal on this ship, more like a big family than anything. It's not unusual for the captain to join us at meals, or for drinks after shift." Uhura laid a hand on Maggie's arm. "If you ever need to talk, please let me know. I'm hoping we can become friends," she remarked.

Maggie smiled warmly at Lt. Uhura. "Thank you, I hope so as well. Really missing my best friend right now, but she has her assignment, and I have mine," she replied with a watery smile. "I just can't believe I'm finally here, on the flagship of the Fleet!" Maggie exclaimed.

Uhura laughed. "I'm sure you've worked very hard to get here, because the Enterprise only lets in the best of the best. Relax, you have made it to the big show, my dear! Try not to work too hard, though," she advised. "Hey, some of us are getting together later for a drink, why don't you join us? It'll give you a chance to meet the rest of the group," Uhuru offered.

"Hmm. Let me think about it, and I'll let you know, if that's okay? I was just going to relax in my quarters for tonight," Maggie answered. "Wait, what time is everyone getting together?"

"I think Spock said to meet in the rec area at 2100 hrs. It'll be great, got to have fun while we have downtime," Uhura replied, then left Maggie's quarters.

I can't believe I'm here, and making friends already, she thought. The captain was relaxed, easygoing, but Maggie was sure he had the utmost respect of the crew. Nyota was quickly becoming a good friend, and Maggie couldn't wait to meet the rest of the group.

Maggie decided one night out wouldn't hurt, but she wanted to take a nap before meeting the rest of the crew. As she stared at the ceiling, she wondered briefly if Dr. McCoy would be joining them this evening. Nah, he said he had a mountain of paperwork to do, so he probably won't be there. Perhaps some other time, Maggie sighed. Her eyelids began to droop, then finally stayed closed as thoughts of a certain CMO danced in her head.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Captain Kirk made his way to the MedBay to speak to his CMO. He had gotten word from Nyota that some of the crew was getting together tonight in the recreation area. He had also heard that Uhura had invited the newest crew member, Lt. Maggie Parker to join them.

"Hey, Christine, is he in?" Kirk asked Head Nurse Christine Chapel.

"Yes, Jim, he's been holed up in his office all afternoon. Try and get him out of there, would you?" she pleaded.

Kirk nodded and smiled at Nurse Chapel and knocked on McCoy's office door. When there was no answer, he let himself in.

"Well, by all means, Jim, come right in," McCoy remarked dryly.

"Thanks, Bones. Hey, I was wondering if you were almost finished here, some of us are going down to the recreation area for a drink," Kirk mentioned.

"I've got a ton of paperwork, Jim. I don't think so," McCoy answered.

Kirk decided to try a different tactic. "Oh, by the way, thank you for sending over the results of Lt. Parker's incoming physical so quickly. Looks like Starfleet sent us a stellar recruit," Kirk remarked.

"Yes, Jim, she's fine," McCoy replied as he leaned back a little in his chair. "Actually, it was a good thing she was in here, or I would've had a situation on my hands," he added.

"Oh, really?" Jim asked.

Dr. McCoy proceeded to tell him of the engineer that came in with the head injury while he was conducting Lt. Parker's physical. "I left the room for a couple of minutes to get something. If Maggie hadn't been there, Ensign Nelson would've fallen off the biobed," McCoy explained.

"Lucky for you 'Maggie' was there," Kirk responded.

McCoy nodded, then explained how Maggie sat with the ensign and was able to detect her concussion. "She said her sister was on assignment as Head Nurse on the USS Pegasus, a Lt. Ruthie Warner," he remarked.

"Wait a minute. Parker and Warner, why do I know those names?" Kirk wondered aloud.

"Well, now how in the hell should I know, Jim?" McCoy retorted. "Anyway, I've got work to do, so if you don't mind," he said as a way to encourage the captain to leave.

"Come on, have a drink with us, Bones. You need to loosen up a bit. Besides, Nyota said she got Maggie to agree to meet us there," Kirk indicated.

McCoy thought for a moment. A chance to spend more time with the lovely lieutenant outside of a work setting could be promising, he thought. "I'll see what I can do, Jim. What time is everyone meeting?" he asked.

"Spock said something about 2100 hrs. Come on, Bones, don't make me give you a direct order," Kirk warned.

"Jim. I said I'd see what I can do, I'm not promising anything. IF I'm there, I may be a little later than 2100 hrs.--"

"Good! I'll tell everyone you're coming. See you there, Bones!" Jim hollered as he left McCoy's office, leaving the good doctor shaking his head as he returned to his work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maggie had contacted Uhura to tell her she decided to join them for a drink after all. She was almost finished getting ready when she heard the chimes at her door. "Come in!" she called as she spritzed some perfume on her wrist. During the course of her unpacking, she had found her favorite pale peach sweater and dark gray jeans.

Uhura and Spock stepped inside Maggie's quarters. "Maggie? Where are you, hun?" Uhura asked.

"In here, just finishing up getting ready. Can't seem to get this earring in--ah, there it goes," Maggie said, stepping out of the bathroom and into the main living area. "Good evening, Cmdr. Spock. It's nice to see you again," Maggie remarked.

"Likewise, Lt. Parker," Spock returned.

"Please call me Maggie. So what brings you two by my quarters? I was just getting ready to head out to the rec area," she asked.

"I thought we could go together, show you how to get there and all," Uhura explained.

"Sounds logical, thank you. Oh, will the captain be joining us this evening?" she inquired.

"He's supposed to be, and I believe he mentioned something about it to Dr. McCoy as well," Uhura replied, watching for Maggie's reaction.

"Oh, well, won't that be lovely," Maggie remarked nervously. Uhura looked to Spock and nudged him out the door, with Maggie following.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"And that's the last time I tried to out-drink my sister!" Maggie exclaimed, to a chorus of raucous laughter. "When I woke up, I had the hangover of all hangovers, then had my final Chemistry exam that morning. Fortunately, I passed my exam. Then I went back to my dorm room, took two painkillers and passed out!" she finished to more laughter.

"Now, you said your sister is Lt. Ruthie Warner?" asked the captain.

"Yes, sir. She's the new Head Nurse of the USS Pegasus. She and I met at the Academy and hung out a lot at Rocky's Bar, playing 8-ball," Maggie explained.

"Parker and Warner....THAT'S where I remember your names from!" Kirk exclaimed. "You and your sister always ended up taking the top two spots in Rocky's annual tournament. Four years running, if I remember correctly," he finished.

"That's us, Captain," Maggie grinned. "Alas, now that I'm here, Rocky's torch must pass to someone else. I just play for fun now, except I'm under strict orders from Dr. McCoy NOT to have a cue stick in my hand for the next day or so."

"Good evening, all, is this seat taken?" Dr. McCoy gestured to the empty seat. He was wearing dark wash jeans with cowboy boots, a burgundy-colored button-down shirt and a thin black leather jacket. He greeted Spock, Uhura and the rest, then placed his drink on the table and claimed the barstool next to Maggie for himself.

"Speak of the devil, Bones! Glad you could make it tonight, pull up a seat," Kirk greeted the doctor boisterously.

"Don't mind if I do, Jim, thank you. Lieutenant, lovely to see you again. How are you enjoying your first day on board the Enterprise?" McCoy asked.

"It's like a dream come true for me. I've always heard that the Enterprise crew is the best of the best, and it's long been my goal to earn my place here. I've already met so many wonderful people like yourselves, and I'm looking forward to becoming friends with all of you," Maggie finished.

"Well said, Lieutenant," McCoy held up his drink in salute, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Thank you, Dr. McCoy, and please call me 'Maggie'. At least when we're not on duty," she requested.

McCoy leaned closer to Maggie. "Only if you call me 'Leonard', darlin'," he replied softly.

Maggie reached over and placed her hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Agreed. Leonard," Maggie giggled. She'd only said it once, but already McCoy loved the sound of his name falling from her lips.

Across the table, Kirk and the others paid particular attention to the interaction between their CMO and newest addition to the crew. They exchanged glances with each other about what appeared to be happening between McCoy and Maggie.

It was clear to everyone that the pair were completely oblivious to what was going on around them except for each other. They liked Maggie already, and had hopes that something might happen between her and Dr. McCoy.

Part 2 here!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

#leonard mccoy x reader #leonard bones mccoy x reader #bones mccoy x reader #bones x reader #star trek aos

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justmarvelwriting · 3 years

Text

The Defender

So uh, hi. My names Sinead and I was completly enthralled by @shiningloki 's fic Get on Your Knees and Pray for Me (Please read it, it's a work of art. Warning; Heavy NSFW.) Annnnd I wanted to see this little family again so. Here we go. A fan fic of a fan fic.

CHAPTER 1

Stefan smiled as he peered from the top of his book to watch his parents on their balcony above him secretly. He’d long since grown from his childishness of gagging every time his parents so much as chastely pecked each other on the lips. Now his heart warmed as he watched them both laughing above him. They both deserved the happiness they had that the thought of anything tearing them apart broke Stefans heart a little. They both bore scars, all of which he was fascinated with as a child, small fingers tracing each bumpy outline. He was no longer fascinated by them, but understood why his father bore his so openly and proudly. It was his mother who explained to him quietly that mental scars ran much deeper, and much larger then the physical ones he bore from battle. Those were the ones he was most proud he overcame.

“How does he show them off mama?” He mumbled quietly as she stroked his hair.

“By carrying you on his shoulders every chance he gets.”

He chuckles when he remembers the night his father had finally told him the fairytale. He snorted. Asta gave it that name. Loki had tried to keep a stern look on his face but it broke into a grin even so.

It was told to him the night after he had gotten in….an altercation with another boy his age. The boy had a mouth, and he liked to run off with it.

“Nothing but the spawn of the common Midgardian whore and the Dark Prince who fell from Odin's grace!”

Stefan possessed magic that equaled his fathers at his own age, but instead he went the more satisfactory route.

He had punched him twice. Once for calling his mother, a fully realised Goddess in her own right, a common Midgardian whore. The second, for daring to slander his fathers name with such old cruelties.

“I am Lokison,” he yelled, shoulders straight, “and you will NEVER speak ill of my family again.”

One of his friends had pointed out he failed to punch him for insulting him. But Stefan had grinned, his mouth and nose bloody before dragging himself to his mother’s quarters before she found out through other means. She was attending to Eira, the youngest of his siblings who was only a toddler at the time when she caught sight of him. Her face had paled, and he rushed to explain he was ok, they weren’t in danger. He’d just gotten into a fight. She had chided him softly as she moped his nose and chin, Eira bouncing on his lap as he tried to assist, small hands bouncing gently off his chin. His father had appeared not two minutes after, hawking that Baldyrs son was walking around with a broken, bloody nose.

“About bloody —“ He spun slowly on his heel and faced him with wide eyes.

“He called Mom a common whore and slandered your name.” He straightened his back, looking his father squarely in the eyes, "I don't regret a thing."

He coughed, trying to hide the proud smile that stretched his face, “You know not to be fighting in court.”

When your mother had left him in his room that night, Loki had appeared at the door.

“You know, I did convince her you shouldn’t be punished too harshly. You showed restraint after all. You could have used your magic.” he still fought a smile, a rapidly losing battle.

“Thor is very proud of me, apparently, by the way.” he grinned, sweeping his hair out of his eyes.

That made his father unravel into fits of laughter, clutching his side. He snickered also, but it made him wince with his nose.

Loki had sighed, smiling as he sat on the bottom of his bed, and had launched into the tale.

“So truly I can’t really tell you off for defending your family's honour, I did take 5 bullets for your mother after all.” He finished smoothly, smirking at Stefans expression.

“Dad, you didn’t just take 5 bullets you literally took on bloody Odin himself!”

“With your grandmother, uncle and mother in tow.” He warned him, expression serious, “If you take anything from this my dearest Stefan please let it be that you can rely on your family. I am only ever,” he tapped his necklace, “one call away.”

“Stefan!” The present dragged him back to reality and he raised his hand waving to Alex to join him.

Two boys, him and Eira. Two girls, Asta and Eva. And then Alex, his sibling. Five plus Mom and Dad made the perfect storm for the Lokison name.

Alex's cheeks were flushed as they barreled into the chair beside him, slicking back long, inky hair once they caught their breath. Eira was the youngest, still only a child but soon a teen, then Alex, Eva, Asta and himself. Eva was his mother, but smaller, and Alex was similar, but for the inky black hair the rest of the family inherited.

"Uncle Thor had to leave the sparring match early," they explain as Stefan checks his watch, a frown settling over their face, "He was in such a hurry, it was kind of unsettling actually."

Stefan waved his hand, both acting as a dismissive gesture and that to vanish his book, "The nine realms have never known such peace. Don't worry. A diplomatic hiccup, not much more. The realms have never trusted each other more. How could they not? Mother is in charge of that after all." Stefan grinned and Alex relented, grinning up at their parents with a similar adoration on their face that Stefan showed quietly moments before.

"Maybe it's trouble down on Midgard." Stefan mused quietly, "The Avengers perhaps?"

Alex hummed quietly, basking in the late evening sun.

//--//--//

Loki smiles, wrapping arms around your waist as you both look down at two of your children talking quietly in the garden, hands flying animatedly as they throw arguments back and forth.

"I think we did an amazing job my love." he mutters quietly as he watches them both spring to their feet with a laugh that echoes the courtyard, Stefan summoning wooden swords for them to spar harmlessly with.

"I think we did." you smile and you mentally capture this moment in your mind forever. You'd have to paint it, actually. Your hall of art had changed over the years, reflecting your growing family. But by far Loki's favourite was the one at the very end, the huge canvas of your family all together. It would need to be redone, once Eira became a man in his own right, of course. But for now, it captured your family perfectly. You toyed with your necklace, watching thoughtfully as Stefans and Alex's chains glow with your grass green magic for a moment before they fade back to their deep emerald green once more. You felt so peaceful, but something didn't feel right, not in your gut.

"What troubles you, my pet?" Loki purrs and your eyes flutter closed as he places soft kisses all along your throat, hands gripping your waist tighter.

"Something doesn't feel right…" you murmur, sighing softly as the warmth of his lips leave their position. Loki hums softly, dragging you back into your chambers.

"We are all safe." he reassures you quietly, pressing a hand to your chest, "And if anything happens… we will know."

You nod but sigh anyway. Loki chuckles, pressing you against the wall, "My little Goddess… always so attentive to her tasks."

His voice dips and your worry flees your mind as his hand goes up to grip your throat, "I have many tasks I could focus your attention on… your lips around my cock… my hand beating your ass red."

You whimper quietly, but just as Loki is about to speak, his eyes flashing dangerously, there's a knock on the door. Loki growls, only detaching himself slightly before clearing his throat.

"Yes?"

"Prince Loki, your brother requests your presence in the throne room immediately. There's an urgent diplomatic matter he wishes you to aid him in."

Loki sighs and presses his forehead to yours.

"Tell brother dearest I'm coming."

"Later." he promises quietly, smiling and pressing a single finger to your lips. You smile and resist the urge to take it into your mouth.

You smooth your hair and peer out the window. Stefan and Alex are hugging each other tightly, before Alex pushes him away playfully. Stefan notices you and waves up, a wide smile on his face. You blow a kiss and he laughs, a note appearing before you, floating into your hand.

Love you too Mom xx

You sigh dramatically. A carbon copy of his father. The only thing separating them was Stefan's short hair.

You exit your chambers, old habits dying slowly of kissing each of the children goodnight.

---///---///

It's late when Stefan wakes, darkness still cloaking his room and he frowns. He's an unusually heavy sleeper, and is often made fun of when he emerges late from his room in the early hours of the evening.

His curtains flutter and his heart beats loudly in his chest. He closed his balcony door before he went to bed. And locked it.

Quietly, he summons a dagger and swings his feet out of bed. He scans his room, concealing his dagger with his magic, but his hand is shaking. He closes his eyes and focuses on the necklace at his throat.

"Dad, come quietly, quickly. I think there's someone in my room."

The response is almost instantaneous, but the only indication to him is the dip in his bed.

"Stand, pretend to head for the bathroom, keep your dagger hidden."

He felt his father's hand at the back of his neck, squeezing him gently, "You're safe, my son. No harm will come to you."

Stefan stands lazily, heading to his bathroom, eyes darting around as he fakes a yawn, running his fingers through his hair.

A figure leaps from the darkness and he growls, dropping into a roll, the attacker leaping into a crumpled heap before they both leap to their feet. The attacker lunges, but he is caught by his throat, his father revealing himself in a flash of brilliant green light. The fury on his father's face is nothing Stefan has ever seen before, cold hard lines and his eyes practically glow in the dark room.

"Well done my boy." Loki grins at him as Stefan leans heavily on his door frame hand to his chest. Then his heart stops.

"The others!" he lets his dagger clatter to the floor and practically flies out of the door, sword fitting in his palm easily. He practically kicks down the door of each of his siblings in turn, flooding the room with light, before stumbling back out. Asta practically leaps out of bed when he wakes her, the panic on his face telling her everything she needs to know. He flicks her a dagger and they both sprint towards Alex's room, feet impossibly loud on the marble floor. Stefan grits his feet and Alex's door practically flies off its hinges.

Just in time to see someone leap off his balcony ledge, Alex draped over their shoulders like a sack of bricks.

"ALEX." Astas scream pierces the air but Stefan leaps off the balcony like a deranged man, landing impossibly lightly before taking off at a breakneck speed. The attacker weaves in and out of the maze of hedges trying to lose him, but a cold smile graces Stefans face. He's been running in these gardens since he was a child, he knows every pocket like the back of his hand.

"Stop!" He bellows as they reach the edge of Asgard, the attacker not turning to face him, "I am Stefan of Asgard, Son of Loki and you will release my sibling immediately."

The attacker turns slowly. But Stefan can only see his thin smile.

"No."

And he falls backwards.

#Loki #mculoki #fan fic #fan fic of a fan fic #writers on tumblr #loki x female reader #getonyourkneesandprayforme #it’s a masterpiece you better have read it

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twilitty · 3 years

Text

Waiting pt.2

Waiting

@twilitty

Part 2/?

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: none

Read this first! Bella is away while Rose and Emmett are watching Nessie. This fic is centered around Bella.

It took everything out of Bella to not draw attention to herself. She had dressed in sweatpants and a ratty sweatshirt that she had to hide in the back of her closet so Alice couldn’t find it. Yet still people stared at her. This was one thing Bella doubted she would ever get used to: the attention.

She liked to lay low, fly under the radar, get lost in the crowd. But, that hasn’t happened to her since her human days. Well, it hasn’t really happened to her since Phoenix. It seemed that Forks high school thought she was the best thing around and quickly she had a band of boys vying for her attention.

She’s walking down a busy side street in Port Angeles, she hadn’t lied about where she was going. The entire family knows she is in the city, they just don’t know why- except for Alice- and decidedly choose not to ask her about it. She appreciates the faux privacy they give her. It’s difficult living with a family who had supernatural hearing abilities, every whispered argument with her new husband was put on display for all to discuss in private.

Port Angeles is her monthly retreat from the Cullens, who seemed to be her only socialization after she awoke as a vampire. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy spending time with them, she loves them all dearly, but most conversations revert back to time periods from before she was born. She was never a fan of history class.

Port Angeles was nowhere near as large as other cities, but it was close to home and she doesn’t like leaving her daughter for long periods of time.

The street is littered with tourists in heavy backpacks, maps under their noses. The maps are unnecessary, each street has clear signage and you can always cut through alleyways to the next street over if you need to move fast. She can’t imagine how anybody could get lost among these streets and then scolds herself immediately. She had gotten lost in these streets. Her human self was used to getting lost and falling into the lap of trouble. She hates forgetting about her old self.

Her shoulder bag bumps her hip with every step, inside her car keys, wallet, and a hardcover book. It’s a battered copy of Pride and Prejudice, the edges of the stiff covers frayed with time and use. The words inside bore the stains of past tears, tears she would never shed again. She remembers the last time she cried over these pages, sitting on Charlies beat up couch with her wet hair tied up in a towel atop her head. She couldn’t stop thinking of Edward. This was before they had come together and stayed together. She had hoped that his behaviour was an imitation of Mr.Darcy’s. Hopefully he was just pretending to dislike her because he didn’t know how to work through his true emotions, ultimately her hopes came true, but at the time she felt empty.

Empty from caring too much and empty from being let down yet another time. A new town she didn’t want to be in, and the one bright side seemed to hate her, how is she supposed to cope with that? She had treated herself with a bowl of ice cream after her hot shower, curling up in a quilt that seemed older than her and reading Jane Austen yet again.

Everytime Darcy entered a scene another fat tear would drop onto the page, marking the exact spot she thought of the cruel bronze haired boy. A boy so beautiful her heart wanted to sing, yet every time he looked at her with that same disdain she couldn’t help but feel torn apart all over again. How could one human stand so much torment?

A part of her, small and insignificant, sits in her gut and wishes for tears. Wants some physical expression of her emotions. But, that won’t happen.

The street winds to the right, groups of teenagers clustered outside of an indie coffee shop and giggling amongst each other. Idly she wonders, how is Angela doing? But the thought disappears as quickly as it comes and she finds herself at the end of the street with a four-way stop in front of her.

She takes the right turn, sneakers scuffing as she lets her heels drag a little with every step. Humans never walk evenly, there is always something to unbalance their gait and mark their shoes. Alice would rather die a million deaths than see Bella purposefully mistreat her shoes, even if they’re knock offs she bought at an outlet mall.

A couple buildings down, all cement and brick, is the public library. It’s poorly funded and the lighting inside is horrendous. The windows need to be resealed and the doors squeak like mice. She loves it. She enters into the drafty lobby, a bulletin board shows all the events this month, a book club is scheduled for today at noon. She checks her watch, 11:47.

The next doors lead into the children's section where parents and toddlers sit in a semicircle at the back wall, a poorly constructed stage is used to recreate a story with hand puppets. “Save me!” She hears one of the socks yell out, a few children gasp and her steps slow to a stop. A child sitting up close to the stage has brown hair braided down her back in uneven strips. Her giggles stand out from every other childs gasps of horror. Beside her sits an identical little boy, his brown skin shining just like his sisters.

“Don’t worry,” the little girl whispers into his ear, “the princess has a happy ending.” The boy looks up at her with big doe eyes, his nose sniffling. “I promise,” she says. Then, as if feeling that someone is watching, she turns around and faces Bella from across the wide room.

They look at each other, the human and the vampire, the child and the woman, the hunted and the hunter. Her, Bella thinks absently, her senses slow to a dull, focused only on the soft thudding of the little girls heart. She is so beautiful. The girl watches her, wide eyes blinking as she takes in the woman staring at her without seeming to notice it. Then, she raises a dark palm, waving it at the woman.

Bellas senses surge back into her, noises and colours and scents slam into her like a wall and she almost feels the need to take a steadying breath. The girl continues to wave, her little brother looking over his shoulder to see who she’s looking at.

Walking quickly and a little dazed, Bella makes her way to the staircase and closes the door behind her. She takes a deep, unnecessary breath which does nothing more than fill her lungs. Her chest sits hollow, no movement unless she forces it and no beating of a heart. She wonders idly what would happen if she was opened up, would they find her heart still intact? Did the venom solidify it like the rest of her or is it just simply gone?

“Isabella!” It’s Nancy, she’s at the top of the stairs holding a book to her chest. She’s an older woman, maybe sixty five, with beautiful grey hair cut into a sleek bob at her shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here, and looking stylish as always!” Bella just nods with what she hopes is a warm smile, she had heard and smelt Nancy above before she heard her but still widens her eyes to make it seem surprising.

Coming from anybody else, calling Bella “stylish” for wearing sweatpants would have been sarcastic. Maybe a joke about how she always looks beautiful. But not from Nancy. Nancy is too kind, she likely has never said a poor word to anybody.

“Thank you,” Bella responds. Taking the stairs up, Nancy has already started talking again. Bella's mind has a difficult time abandoning the little girl in front of the stage. The girl's heartbeat thuds in her ears, carrying through the thick metal door and up the stairs. She isn’t sure if she can still hear it or if her mind is just playing it back on a loop.

“All the ladies are already here, you’re the last to join us.” She continues to talk about who is here and who can’t make it. Someone brought lemon squares and someone else had snuck in orange juice and a bottle of champagne for mimosas. It’s a wonder the book club hasn’t been kicked out of the library permanently, it seems every month they are receiving another infraction for bringing in food and drinks.

The book club meets once a month to discuss the book they were supposed to read, this week it’s Pride and Prejudice. The room they reserve is tucked into the back left corner of the library, the carpet is dingy and the walls that were once white are closer to yellow. Bella loves this room.

The ladies are all already sitting in a semicircle, a low table in the center is covered in treats and large glasses filled with a sweet smelling drink. A large bottle of champagne sits next to it. “Isabella!” A few of them call out as she enters the room with Nancy. She greets them happily, smiling widely.

“Alright, so this month we read Pride and Prejudice!” A few women whoop at that, giggling and whispering amongst each other. “Now, now,” Dhruvi chastises lightly. She’s the club leader, she makes sure the discussion doesn't get carried away. “Who wants to share their first reactions to Mr.Darcy?” Bella's mind runs faster than any computer, her words and actions are usually well thought through before she reacts, which is why she takes herself off guard when she responds so quickly. She hadn’t even known she had something to add. “I think he was acting a little cruel.” Bella’s voice says without her knowing. All eyes are immediately on her, apparently none of them agreed because their eyes are wide as saucers.

“How could you say that?” A woman pipes up, her bushy eyebrows knitted atop her wrinkled forehead. “He loves Elizabeth.”

“Yeah,” Bella says slowly, her mind whirring but not producing anything. “But that doesn’t mean he can treat her like he doesn’t care for her. He should have been open with his feelings at the start, not play stupid mind games with her.”

The room is quiet, the air dripping in what can only be suppressed judgement and mild concern from the old women. Bella notices this, takes a few looks around the circle and swallows her pride. “I’m sorry,” she enunciates, each syllable crisp with her obvious discomfort. “I guess I’m just projecting my life onto the story.”

“Is it your husband, dear?” It’s Nancy, sitting three women down from her and giving her a soft smile. Her skin is wrinkled, her eyes creasing in a motherly way. Bella’s vocal cords refuse to work, and even if they were functioning she has no idea what to say. None of the women speak and instead watch Bella work the question over in her mind.

Even though Bella could have thought this over in the bare breath of a second, she takes a minute to truly think it over. Was it her husband? Edward who loved her, who she loved? They had a child together, they were both immortal. She served up her human life on a platter and asked him to throw it away. No, it wasn’t her husband. Their relationship was perfect, picturesque, the happy ending everybody always knew they would get.

“My wife,” starts Dhruvi with a heavy sigh, “does this to me sometimes, too.” Bella had met Dhruvi’s wife before, she was a kind woman with long black hair streaked with silver, her skin a nearly identical shade of brown to Dhruvi. “She will go days treating me like a guest in our home, not holding my hand or kissing me. We will eat breakfast at opposite ends of the table and make small talk. The entire time I think, ‘did I do something wrong? Has she abandoned her feelings for me?’ But, no.” She leans over onto her knees and the scent of her floral perfume fills Bella’s head. “The next night she will cook me dinner and kiss me and tell me I’m beautiful. And, yes that is nice but it is also sad like you said-” Bella never said that what Darcy did was sad, but in her head she can see now that that word fits into her sentiment perfectly. “- because for a moment I questioned my wife’s love for me and that is very painful.”

The room nods and murmurs in agreement, Nancy giving Bella a sad, pitying look the entire time. “I- I’m sorry about your wife not always being open about her feelings,” Bella starts, feeling like she’s being forced into giving confession. “But that’s not my Edward.”

“Not mine either,” Nancy says quickly. “But when we met that was him. He was my Darcy in the way you described him. I love Patt now but at the time he would take me out on a date only to show up for class the next day with some new broad.” She shrugs her shoulders, “and that was cruel. He played mind games with me.” The grey haired woman doesn’t seem upset by this, instead she seems content with it. Stating it with a resigned indifference.

“But you’ve got him now!” A woman exclaims and that sends the room into an uproar of laughter. Bella’s is noticeably absent from the mixture.

The group finishes their discussion about the book in just over an hour, a few women sneak snacks into their purses as they depart, giggly from all the champagne. Bella packages her novel into her bag and puts it over her shoulder. Dhruvi stands at the door, with a styrofoam plate of lemon squares, only three left.

“Isabella, I’m sorry about your experiences with this month's novel.” She says it kindly, but also as if she’s digging for more information. Trying to reopen the discussion from earlier.

“No, I enjoyed the book, really. It was quite romantic.” The words rush out of Bella, the last thing she wants to do is start this conversation all over again. Dhruvi laughs off her comment.

“I’m considering hosting dinner at my home, I will be inviting a few of the women from this group and a few others you don’t know.” Bella’s silent heart has jumped into her throat. “Would you be interested in joining us?” What does she say? That she will go but won’t eat a single damn thing? Oh, sorry, I ate just before getting to your house for this prescheduled dinner. How awful is that, there is no way that she can go.

“I don’t think I’ll be available that day.”

“I didn’t mention the date,” the older woman says slowly, eyelids leveling down over her pupils as if searching for something in Bella. The vampire has no response to this. “Bring your husband,” she says finally, “I would like to meet him.”

#twilight #2008 #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #bella swan #bella cullen #carlisle #edward #alice #rosalie #emmett #jasper #renesme #nessie #head canon #headcanon #hc #fic #fanfiction

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wayward-mikaelson · 3 years

Text

Winter's Doll-Chapter Eleven

Word Count: 2988

About: Bucky find out about Nadia and Thor leading to bickering during a mission

Characters: Nadia, Bucky, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Tony (mentioned), and Thor (Mentioned)

Pairing: None

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Training, Mentions of one night stand, Bickering, Injury, Blood,

A/N: Getting closer to the end of Series One of this fic!!!! Yes there were be a sequel but I still need to plan it out before I can write it down.

This piece of work contains work made for the 18 and up crowd. Please read at your own discretion. Please do not copy and paste my work anywhere, you can reblog and share the links of my post. This work is cross posted onto WattPad and AO3 under the same title. Links to all my other social media can be found in the pinned post on my profile. Feedback is welcomed!

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Marvel Tags: @soccer-100000

Winter's Doll Tags: @supernatural-love14 @loudlylovingalpaca @kingkhibas

Bucky/Sebastian Tags: These tags are open

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Chapter Ten

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By the time Nadia is healed from Bucky’s night terror attack, the team was preparing for a mission. A mission that didn't involve Nikola Alekiev, which for Nadia was a breath of fresh air. For the last few weeks, Nadia had been consumed with every little detail of her brother's last few years of life. She rewatched his vlogs, directing what she could. Seeing if there was something she had missed. Seeing if there could have been some sort of secret message hidden that only she could find.

But there had been nothing.

Nadia sat in the training room, her hands were wrapped and prepped for the punching bag before her. Bucky stood beside the bag watching Nadia. This was to see if she was fit to go on this mission. Both physically and mentally. Per Steve's orders and Bucky was there to help Nadia out.

"You're lost in thought," Bucky took a step towards her. "Wanna know how i can tell?" Bucky knelt down and fixed one of Nadia's wrapped up hands.

"Oh," Nadia simply said. She had even realized she drifted off and messed up her wrapping. She had been doing that a lot. Probably why Steve wanted to see if she was fit. "I'm sorry."

Bucky chuckled. "Don't be," he looked up at her and smiled. "You have a lot on your mind. There," Bucky stood up and looked behind him. "You sure you're up for this mission?"

Nadia huffed and glared at Bucky. "You too? Really? I thought you were on my side and helping me."

"Nadie," Bucky slowly said. "I am, but from an outsiders point of view, it looks like you aren't capable of handling a simple mission."

Nadia took a deep breath and stood up. Bucky was right, she really wasn't in the right mindset for any of this. But she also needed something to distract her from anything Nikola related. Nadia also knew she needed to put it aside for the time being.

"You're right," Nadia moved in front of the punching bag. "But, I need a distraction. Clear my mind of anything related to Niks last moments. Even my parents." Nadia took a firm swing at the bag.

Over the last couple weeks, Nadia's parents were non stop calling. They'd call any chance they'd get, at any given time of day. It was getting pretty annoying and Nadia had told her parents that when they call, they disrupt work but did they listen? Nope. They took advantage of the situation they were in. Which was a crappy situation.

“Mama,” Nadia told her mother that very morning. “You and Papa need to stop calling. I’m being serious. You’re disrupting work and training.”

Nadia’s mother huffed over the receiver. “Well, Nadia, there isn’t anything to do here. When will we get to leave and go back home? I miss my bed. I miss the little shrine area I made for your brother.”

“Mama! Stop,” Nadia was close to losing her shit. “If you don’t stop calling I will disconnect every wire in this compound to give my team some peace. Now will you please put Clint on the phone, I have to talk to him.”

Once Clint was on the phone, “I don’t know where she’s getting the idea that there isn’t anything to do here,” he joked. “She loves to be around the kids.”

“My mother is dramatic, Clint,” Nadia sighed and put her head on the counter. “If her or my dad give you any more issues or whatever, tranquilize them.”

Nadia hit and kicked the bag, while Bucky held it in place. He really didn’t need to, Naida really wasn’t beating the shit out of the bag, just enough to let out some steam and frustration. It was what she needed, and she didn’t know why she didn’t think of it before.

“Okay,” Bucky pulled away from the bag. “This isn’t going to help prove you're ready for the mission.”

“What?” Nadia was breathing hard.

Bucky didn’t answer. Instead, he gripped Nadia’s arm tight and spun her around until she was flushed against his chest. Slowly, he brushed the hair from her face, not showing an ounce of emotion. Before Nadia could comprehend what had just happened, Bucky spun her back around until he had her in a choke hold, with both his arms. The hold wasn’t tight, but tight enough to keep Nadia in place.

“What the fuck, Bucky?” Nadia started trying to get out of his grip.

“Easy, Nadia,” Bucky’s voice was neutral and firm. “Do what you need to, to get out of this.”

Nadia stopped and thought about what she was going to do next. She knew she couldn’t throw her head back and hit Bucky’s face, his arm was protecting it while holding her in place. If only she was able to reach the bobby pin in her pocket. Why did she have a stray bobby pin? She didn’t know why, just that there was one in her pocket.

“Do I need to walk you through this?” Bucky asked after a moment.

“No,” Nadia grunted. “I got this.”

Nadia dived into her surroundings. She couldn’t use her upper body due to being held tightly. She really couldn’t use her hands cause they were pinned to her sides by Bucky’s arms. Which was smart honestly. Nadia was only left with her legs. She pictured the way Bucky was standing and found that his stance wasn’t the best.

With a small chuckle Nadia said, “Brace yourself.”

Before Bucky could say anything, Nadia kicked a leg towards his unstable one and pushed out from under him. The two of them fall backwards, causing Nadia’s head to smack right into Bucky’s face. Bucky groaned and let go of Nadia, giving Nadia enough time to roll off Bucky, only to turn around and straddle him and grip his neck.

Bucky stared at Nadia in surprise. “Wow, um, that was unexpected.” Bucky somewhat was expecting to be knocked down, but not Nadia sitting on top of him. Oh the times he’s imagined what it would look like and now, there she was with a grip on his neck and a firm look in her eyes.

“Next time give me a warning,” Nadia let go and got off Bucky. As much as she loved having her legs on either side of the man under her, she couldn’t stay much longer. The moment she felt the slightest bit of arousal, she had to get up. “So,” Nadia gave a smile and crossed her legs together, hoping to ward off the ache that was slowly creeping in. “Did I pass?”

Bucky sat up, trying to let go of the imagine that was now embedded in his mind. “Um,” Bucky started to say. “Yeah,” he shook his head and stood up. “That was good. Really good.”

Nadia noticed that Bucky was acting a bit weird. “Are you okay?”

Bucky turned towards Nadia. He knew he couldn’t tell her the truth, it’d probably freak or weird her out. “You have a hard head, kind of gave me whiplash or something.” Bucky smiled and winked at her. “I’m going to go let Steve know that you’re up for this.”

***

“Wait, wait,” Wanda sat down on the couch next to Nadia. “Back up.” She waved her hands around with her eyes closed. “You what?”

Nadia had quickly found Wanda to tell her what had happened. Wanda, knowing just about everything about her little crush on Bucky. When she told Wanda about what had happened in the training room she just about coughed on her drink.

“I sat on him,” Nadia felt her face burn up as she said the words. “Oh, God.” Nadia covered her face. “Of all the things I could have done! I straddle one of my good friends?! Why, why, why?”

Wanda scooted closer and took hold of Nadia’s hands. “Nadie,” Wanda’s calm voice had Nadia looking up. “One, it was a training exercise. Two, I can already see the things you wanted to do to him.”

Nadia groaned. “Wanda, no, please?”

When Bucky left Nadia in the training room, Nadia couldn’t help but think about the things that she could have done to him. Obviously, if he felt the same towards her. She wanted to slowly slide back until she felt his clothed cock pressing on her clothed and aching core. Nadia wanted to rock and grind her hips until she felt Bucky get hard enough to flip her around and pin to her training mats.

Evening thinking about again was making Nadia feral. She needed to get that feeling taken care of before she went on the mission. If Steve would let her, that is.

“So, are you going to admit it now?” Wanda reached over to pick up her glass of water. “Or do I need to drag it out of you by reminding you more.”

Nadia didn’t like the game Wanda was playing. “Fine,” Nadia stood up and put her hand on her hips. “You win.”

“Really?” Wanda cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in her seat. “What did I win at?”

“I think I’ve fallen for my best guy friend and I don’t know if he feels the same,” Nadia waved a hand at Wanda.

“You think?” Wanda scrunched up her nose.

“Fine, then,” Nadia licked her lips and looked down at the floor. “I’m in love with Bucky.”

“Now, that’s what I wanted to hear.” Wanda smiled. “But.”

“But what?” Nadia asked, flopping back onto the couch. “There isn’t any buts except, does he like me? Only you would know.”

Wanda set her glass down. “I was talking about Thor. And I’m not sure, Bucky is pretty private in his mind. He knows how to keep things locked up.”

Nadia felt her breath get caught in her throat. She hadn’t thought about that night in almost a month. So much had happened after sleeping with Thor that she thought she forgot it. Nope, the memories of that night had started flooding her brian.

The Bar.

The table sex.

The sex on her desk. That still had nail marks on it.

The shower sex that was supposed to be a clean up session.

Then Thor held Nadia until she fell asleep.

“What about it?” Nadia asked slowly.

“Are you going to tell him about it?” Wanda was the only person who knew about Nadia and Thor.

“Should I tell him I slept with Thor?” Nadia asked softly.

“Thor’s practically a team member,” Wanda answered. “Wouldn’t want it to be awkward if..."

“You slept with Thor?”

The voice caused the color in Nadia's face to drain. It wasn’t who said it because Nadia knew who it was without turning around. It was how it was said. The sound of disbelief and hurt? Was that hurt Nadia heard in his voice? Everything in her body told Nadia not to turn around but she did anyway.

Bucky stood in the entryway of the living room. The look on his face was emotionless but Nadia saw the look in his eyes, those bright blue eyes, looked pained for a moment. When Bucky looked down, he shook his head and looked back up at Nadia. The slightest bit of emotion that Nadia saw, it was long gone now. Bucky’s eyes were just as emotionless as his face.

“”Bucky,” Nadia softly.

“Steve wants to see you,” Bucky turned on his heel and left the room.

Nadia turned back to Wanda whose lips were in a straight line. “You knew he was there, didn’t you?” Her voice was firm.

“I didn’t,” Wanda shook her head.

But it didn’t make the situation any better. Why did Bucky’s reaction bother her so much?

“What’s up with Bucky?” Sam came into the living room. “I said hi to him and he told me to fuck off.”

“He overheard me saying I slept with Thor,” Nadia started to make her way out.

“Ah,” Sam nodded his head. “I see now.”

“See what?’ Nadia asked.

“It’s still so funny that the two of you don’t see it.” Sam walked away, leaving Nadia even more confused than she was before.

***

“Nadia, Bucky,” Steve had just finished briefing everyone for the mission. “The two of you will walk the inside perimeter. Make sure none of Rumlows men gets through. Fire only if you’re being fired at. And for the sake of this mission, be cordial.”

Since Bucky found out that Nadia slept with Thor, the two of them have avoided each other like the plague. When other members of the team found out, it all made sense. But this mission they wouldn’t be able to avoid each other and Steve knew that. That’s why Steve paired them together. He had hoped that maybe they’d talk it through and put it behind them.

“At least Thor had the sense to shoot his shot,” Tony had said. “Barnes is too slow for this time.”

“At least Bucky’s a gentleman,” Steve had snapped at him. “Thor hasn’t been able to keep it in his pants since Jane dumped him.”

Now, while Nadia gears up next to Bucky, the two of them are dead silent. Nadia could feel the glare he was giving her the whole time. The tension between the two was going to get one of them hurt or killed.

Don’t speak unless it’s about the mission, Nadia thought as she strapped a thigh holster to herself. Her suit wasn’t her stealth suit, it was just a plain old suit similar to the one she trained in. According to Tony, he wanted to add something to it and it’s been in the shop since.

“Ready?” Bucky’s tone was neutral. “Or are you waiting for Thor to come so you can have more of him.”

Nadia never wanted to bitch slap someone in her whole life. “You know what Barnes,” she took a few steps towards Bucky. Bucky could see the anger steaming off her entire body. “You can go fuck yourself.” The venom in her words cut Bucky but part of him didn’t care.

“Bucky,” Steve’s cool tone was next. “Just focus on the mission.”

Nadia spun on her heels and made her way out of the quinjet. She didn’t have time for this and it was too late to drop this mission. She worked too hard to prove that she was capable of this. All she had to do was get through this mission and once they were back at the compound, she was going to pack a weekend bag and go see her parents.

The mission was going smoothly. Bucky and Nadia were quietly walking the inside perimeter, not talking to each other. The only time they spoke was if Steve checked in to see how they were doing. It was perfect until Bucky opened his mouth.

“Why him?” Bucky asked Nadia.

“What?” Nadia looked back at Bucky. He had been walking slow.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb,” Bucky taunted.

“You know what,” Nadia spun around and stood chest to chest with Bucky. The look of surprise with a hint of ‘oh shit i messed up’ in his eyes, gave her some pleasure. “It doesn’t matter to you who I fuck. Okay?!”

“Nadia,” Natasha’s voice warned in the coms.

“You guys need to do this another time,” Steve also warned.

Nadia ignored. “So what, I slept with Thor. It was a one time thing. I was drunk. He’s the one who came and checked on me, not you. If it were you, well, it would be another story wouldn’t it. Now shut up, put your whatever this is aside, and let’s focus on this mission.”

Nadia turned around and the next thing she felt was something ripping through her suit at both her shoulder and stomach. The suit she wore wasn’t Tony’s fancy bullet proof fabric. This was just plain old spandex like fabric. The pain that followed made Nadia wish she passed out. But she didn’t, she felt the pain radiate through her whole body as she fell to her knees.

“Nadia,” Bucky yelled. He was right there pulling her out of the line of fire and into an empty room. Bucky knocked everything off the only table in the room and laid Nadia down. Soon he was pressing his metal hand firmly on the wounded stomach. Nadia could feel the blood slowly seeping out of her.

The pressure from Bucky’s hand was enough to make Nadia scream, but she couldn’t. The intense pain in her shoulder was keeping her from doing that. Only a few whimpers came out here and there and Bucky was there to give her calm and reassuring words.

“Nadia’s been hit,” there was panic in Bucky’s words. “Good news, bullet went clean through her shoulder, didn’t hit anything important. Bad news, the bullet that hit her stomach is still in there. I gotta get it out.”

“Do you know where it is?” Steve asked.

“Barnes, don’t do anything, I’m on my way,” Natasha said. “Sam, can you get a visual on where they’re at.”

“South part of the building,” Sam’s voice seemed to echo in Nadia’s ears. But the only thing that she could really focus on was the look on Bucky’s face. There was fear and worry written all over it.

“She’s right,” Nadia breathed out. “Better to get me back to the quinjet and out of here.” But Bucky just stared at her. He didn’t know how to tell her how sorry he was for being an asshole. He felt the same kind of guilt he felt when he discovered he hurt her during a nightmare.

Natasha showed up a few moments later. She was going to cover Bucky and Nadia while Bucky carried her back to the quinjet. “It’s okay,” Bucky whispered when Nadia groaned. “It’ll be okay.”

And that was the last thing Nadia heard before passing out.

#Winter's Doll #Wayward Mikaelson #Marvel Imagine #MCU Imagine #Bucky Barnes x OC #Bucky Barnes imAGINE #Bucky Barnes Fanfic #The Winter Soldier #White Wolf #Marvel Fanfic #Mcu Fanfic #Sebastian Stan

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