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russellsppttemplates · 24 days

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Straight from the heart (Lando Norris)

It takes a bad race for Lando to notice how much he has neglected your relationship, and he can only hope he can fix it

Note: english is not my first language. I was fighting the other piece I was writing so I jumped to this one and I did something a little bit different (* cough cough * longer) and see how it goes! I'm not sure how good this is (or how much you will want to kill me), but I promise this has a happy ending!! 🥹🫶

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: relationship struggles, curse words

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

The result on the screen was not the one you hoped. Lando had a wonderful race, but a mixture of bad strategy calls, dark rain clouds appearing on the sky with only a couple of laps left to finish the race and the wrong tire compound made him lose a good number of places, cars overtaking him in the last seven laps.

"Is the race over?", you mother asked as she stepped inside the living room, carrying the curtains she had left out to dry and proceeding to hang them back in their place.

"Yes, just now", your father said as he adjusted the volume on the TV, "let me help you, darling", he offered, getting up and standing beside your mum in case she got out of balance.

"Are you going to call Lando?", your mother asked once her squinty eyes read the position he had finished in. Even though the prescription glasses were on the table, she insisted she didn't want any mishaps after she accidentally dropped her last pair while she was gardening and one of your younger cousins found a rusty frame a couple of months later when he was over.

"I'm not, I don't think - he's flying back tonight and the timezone is so different, I don't want to bother him", you blurted defensively, making up excuses as you went along with your answer, "he's doing the interviews, and I'm sure the debrief will be long and torturous - he will need his rest to fly back", you stated as you got up, "I have to check on the project I handed in on Friday, the professor said he would post the grades around this time and if we want to appel, we have to do it right away - I'll be in my bedroom".

The subject was an open wound that stung everytime you so much heard a mention of it, let one having to seem completely okay with it when it ripped through your heart.

The calendar on your wall is full of stickers, both with notes, urgent matters and things you couldn't forget. It's the last stretch, you tell yourself, one more week and then it's done and you'll have a well deserved break.

A knock on your door catches your attention as you reply with the allowance to let whoever is on the other side in, "is something wrong?", you asked. Lately, the negative side of your mind was the first one to speak.

"That's what I want to ask you - that conversation we just had downstairs was not your usual self", she sighed as she pointed to the living room, "I've noticed you haven't mentioned him much, but I don't want to intrude or offer my help because I know you don't like meddling", your mother looked for your eyes before you could fully focus on the wooden floor.

"Things have been rough between us lately", you sighed, "Lando is keeping me at a distance, and I don't know the reason why, mum", you shrugged, "I don't know if it's because I've known him all my life and the comparison is so profound, but it seems he only cares about racing and his friends, and I'm nowhere in the mix. We rarely call eachother, no texting - I know the triple headers are intense, but all I got from him were reactions to my stories and a little video from Max where he's in it and said something to me", you recalled, "I can't be the only one making an effort, can I? Either he realised where this is going and we catch it while we can, or I don't know where this is going, I don't know where we're going".

Your mother's heart broke as she saw you allow the tears you had held on to fall freely, your sleeves bunched up on your hands to wipe them, "and have you talked about this? A long, grown-up and serious conversation?", she mused.

"We have barely been with eachother, mum!", you whispered shakily as more tears got caught on your throat.

"Couples go through phases, darling - do you think me and your father was all smooth sailing?", she tried to get you to smile as she brushed your hair while she hugged you, "you need to talk to eachother, seriously and let it all out, nothing is off limits because that's how you'll get to where you need to".

You kept your head on your mother's chest, accepting her comforting hold despite being an adult. A mother's hold was truly the best.

You hoped she was right and this was something that would pass. A rough patch that you and Lando would work through a look back on with a sense of accomplishment.

This wasn't how you and Lando end, is it?

Max and Lando headed for the plane as soon as they left the race track, having made prior arrangements to had their luggage there waiting for them once they arrived. Max was the first to sit down and get himself comfortable on the seat, texting his girlfriend to let her know they were leaving.

"Y/N hasn't called or even texted me, nothing", Lando mumbled, "didn't she watch the race? Doesn't she know that I need her?".

Max weighed in the good and the bad that his next few words could do. He could either be honest and encourage his best friend to finally come to his senses, or keep covering the lie and perpetuate the suffering and miscommunications.

"This is not how I wanted to do this - truth be told, I never wanted to have to do it", Max rambled off.

Lando was quick to notice that there was more to it than just this instance, "you know something - she's my girlfriend, Max, if something is happening, I deserve to know", he said in an antsy tone.

"Are you really so blind to it? Have you not noticed it yet? Damn it, Lando, I've been on your side, trying to clean it up and now I'm questioning it", Max declared as Lando only grew more confused.

"What am I missing Max?", Lando snapped, even catching his own self off guard at the reaction he had.

"Mate, think about the last couple of months and whether or not you have been a good boyfriend, or even the boyfriend Y/N deserves", Max offered.

Lando wasn't expecting that answer or point of view.

The last couple of months roll through his memory as if he's watching a movie and when he tries to select the moments he spent with you, he finds himself struggling to gather any at all. He can't remember any of the times you spent together, and considering his memory isn't that bad, it could only mean those moments didn't even happen. Thinking about it, he can remember the last time he held you in his arms, just the two of you.

"Fuck!", Lando shouted, punching the arm rest.

"Glad you figured that one out almost all on your own", Max tsked, "do you really think you deserve any interaction from Y/N? Thought so", Max muttered. He didn't like the situation his friends found themselves in, and he certainly didn't feel any joy in the words he told Lando, but the truth wasn't always easy to hear.

"Seems Y/N doesn't think so either", Lando mumbled, "do you know anything? Has she told you anything?".

He wasn't sure he deserved to know, but he needed to.

"The last time I spoke to her she didn't say anything - you know how Y/N doesn't want to bother anyone with her things and getting information from her is harder than solving the world's problems -, but P and her talk here and there", Max reasoned, "she obviously won't tell me all the details but from what I can tell, Y/N has really taken a toll because of this, P is always quite upset whenever it comes up", Max offered. Quite upset wouldn't cover it, so much so that, unbeknownst to Lando, the last couple of time Max's girlfriend couldn't join them for their plans was an orchestrated excuse from her to avoid being in the same room as the McLaren driver.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!", Lando groaned into his hands, "how could I not realise this was happening?".

"You want the honest, blunt truth?", Max asked and Lando nodded, "I know it's your job, but lately, it's all been about racing, and I think you've neglected Y/N ", Max offered.

McLaren had a one hundred and eighty degree turn lately. From struggling to get their cars in the points, the team had managed to turn things around to the point where P5 and P8 was considered a bad weekend for them.

With the new signings, Quadrant had grown exponentially and it had naturally drawn him to spend more time on it, and it seemed to have alienated everyone in his life that wasn't directly a part of those.

It wasn't intentional, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. And by the looks of it, the person Lando loved and cared about most was also the one he hurt the most.

They both sat in silence as the British drive thought about all of it. Things got so good that he didn't look back, he worked his hardest and gave every piece of himself to the cause and the new territory he was paving. Being on the podium was a common feature for him, and the race win was there, up for grabs and he wanted it. Yet, he had been dazzled by it and had let himself fly higher, his characteristic "both head and feet on the ground" posture no longer present and resulting in a degree of neglection for the things and people thay mattered to him.have always been important to me.

"How did I push away the most important person in my life and I'm just now realizing this?", Lando asked, not really expecting an answer, but rather to let out all the frustration that boiled inside him, anger soon following at his late realisation, "what's worse is that I've only come to realise this because you had to tell me - stupid, stupid, stupid".

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, mate, and frankly there isn't much I can, but look on the bright side: now you have a chance to fix it", Max tries to comfort Lando.

"What if it's too late? What if Y/N doesn't want to be with me anymore?", Lando voicesd his deepest fear. What if the anger had finally got to you and you wanted to call it quits?

"Wouldn't you be able to understand that? I don't think that is the case - I've never seen two people who love eachtoher more than you two, it's as disgusting as it it lovely most times. And even though she might feel angry or hurt, I believe she has it in her to forgive you", Max states.

"I hope you're right", Lando sighed as he tapped his phone, his finger hovering over your contact.

"I wouldn't do that", Max chirped, "you should rest before diving into anything about that topic, and today has had too many emotions as it is. Tomorrow is a new day for you to think about it", he advised.

With his head on the headrest, Lando went over everything that occupied his mind, allowing the heavy sinking feeling to settle in. To a degree, he deserved the discomfort he felt. Shame, guilt, frustration, remorse, embarrassment, overwhelm, sadness.

What if he had destroyed the thing that made him the happiest? If I managed to single out the person who loved him for him?

Lan 🧡

Hello. You were probably expecting a text or a call, but the last few days haven't been easy and I needed to ground myself a little. We really need to talk, Y/N. Do you think we can grab lunch today?

It irritated you how quick your heart was beating the minute you saw who sent you the text after you submitted all the projects that you had left. Battling an inner fight of whether or not you should answer it, you decided to so it. Rip the band-aid off, Y/N.

To Lan 🧡

Hello... We do urgently need to talk. I'm on my own today - where do you want to go?

Your tone was cold and unusual when you compared it to the older messages, filled with hearts and the pet names you had for eachother.

We can go to that café by the marina, the one with the paninis you really like.

Yes, we'll meet here at one pm.

Do you want me to pick you up?

No, I'll walk.

Your sunglasses are good enough to hide the nervous gloom on them as you walked to the marina. There is no script or guideline to go about this lunch other than honesty and finally admitting everything you were feeling. It could go either way and, truth be told, you believed it would go down the way it was supposed to.

Stepping on the wooden path to the small café's outside area, you looked for the boy whose arms were where you used to feel safe.

Lando chose a table that overlooked the water, the warm sun shinning and bringing out the blue of it. It would be a big conversation, and while the café wasn't crowded, he never knew how things could pan out so he went for the most demure spot.

When you take a proper look at him, it surprises you. His eyes are not shiny like they usually are - there's a dark hue surrounding them along with sadness.

"Hey", you utter out to grab his attention.

The moment he faces you, you feel naked despite the summery dress you have on. All vulnerabilities exposed for the person who knows you best and who can read you like the back of his hand.

"Hello, hi", Lando cleared his throat, "how have you been?".

Setting your bag on the chair, you shrugged, not ready to engage in casual chit chat.

"Do you already know what you are having?", he wondered.

"The italian panini and iced tea", you mumbled after looking at the menu he handed you, "have you ordered yet?", you mused before calling the waiter to do so.

The silence between you after the waiter left the table was painful and hard to digest. You avoided looking at his colourful eyes - once you did it, breaking down would be in an instant.

"We really need to talk, Y/N", Lando says.

"Do you want to go first? Or shall I?", you asked bitterly, accepting his silence.

The waiter comes back with your orders. The café doesn't have a big menu and it's mostly empty, so the service was quick, "I hope you enjoy it - Bon appétit!", he interrupted the tension filled moment.

"I recognise I need to apologize to you for all the things I did without realizing it an-", Lando was cut off by you.

"Let me stop you there before this derails", you stated, "I'm here to have a serious, grown up conversation, so I'm not going to sit here and listen to dusty and beaten up childish excuses".

If the ground could sink him into it, Lando would've accepted it gladly.

"It's a start that you have realised that something was wrong, but you can't excuse yourself like that, Lando. Not when this situation has taken proportions that you can't fanthom - you can't get away with being sorry for not noticing what you were causing", you argued.

Lando gave you a nod, "I'm still not sure about all the things that led us to this point and what it entails, and that's why I wanted you here. I don't want to be blind to it anymore - I want to get all of it so all the pieces make sense in my head. You probably won't believe it, Y/N, but I'm so lost in this. I feel like I've lived a parallel universe for the past couple of months", Lando added all in one go.

"When did your feet come back to the ground?", you mused, "when did you feel like maybe things weren't the way they should be?". The curiosity was killing you, and the answer could very well do the last stab.

"When I lost all of those places in the race", Lando gulped, "I expected you to call and to hear your comforting words, and they never came. Max was the one to bring my mind to the matter", he admitted and you could see he was the opposite of proud of his own actions, "How I've been the worst boyfriend in the world and how I deserved that you didn't call - hell, I'm not even sure if I deserve that you're here today and willing to listen to what I have to say".

It's difficult to maintain a tough appearance and pretend that his words don't affect you, but alas, you keep your armour on.

"That afternoon was a struggle for me, Lando. I wanted nothing more than to call you and hear your voice, silence your cornerns and negative thoughts, let you know that you're the best driver out there and that a bad race doesn't define you. That it wasn't your fault and that you shouldn't beat yourself up because of it, that I was still so proud of you and how you handled things and that nothing could keep me from shouting to the rooftops. But you didn't deserve it, my dignity has been punched by your actions day in day out for the past couple of months and I couldn't take it anymore".

"I need you to hear things from your side, I need to know your perspective so I can understand what I did wrong and if I'm able to fix it still", Lando asks desperately.

"We should start from the beggining then", you laced your hands on top of the table after taking a bite of your panini, "I think it was at the end of the last season - at the time it didn't seem like it, but looking at it now, it was the start. I even took some time off and travelled with you so we could enjoy your break, then I came back for university. It's never easy, I know, but up until then we never had any issues with it - even if it was a bloody run, we made time for eachother. Then, you barely texted, let alone call - but all relationships hit rough patches and I thought that it was ours. Then Christmas came around and we finally felt like us again, there were no work or uni commitments, and it was bliss. After that, life happened again and I couldn't find a way to spend time with you - there was always a Quadrant video to film or a meeting or some event. You, Max and Martin went to Bali, and despite the fact that I didn't have any exams and could easily do university stuff remotely - like I do everytime - you didn't even think to ask me if I wanted to go or if I had planned something for us in the first place. I just took it for granted that you would spend it with me, but when P showed me the photos I looked like a fool and an ungrateful friend and girlfriend because I stayed back, Lando. I never felt so humiliated. Max had his girlfriend and you didn't, you ignored me as if I didn't matter to you", you breathed out. Ruminating was one thing, talking about it out loud was another. The latter angered you less and hurt more.

"I'm sorry", Lando murmured and you were quick to shoot it down.

"I don't need you to apologize now, Lando. What I needed was for you to make a decision then, one that considered me and what I wanted", you sighed, wiping a stubborn tear that got out, "after that, I just watched you pull further and further away, and I tried to get closer, work things out, but you wouldn't let me in. You floated and floated and I stayed here, both feet glued to the ground as I watched you go higher and higher. You were never like this, letting things get to your head wasn't something you ever did, but it happened. You alienated me in such a way that for this triple header, I didn't hear your voice once unless it was from the TV or the McLaren social media. You only wanted to call when you needed comfort, and it hurts that it took Max to help you see things the way they are", you state as tears fell uncontrollably down your cheeks.

Apart from your earlier bite, both wooden serving boards look full and no one made a move to go further.

"You told me time and time again that you would always be there for me, but when I was the one needing a cuddle and reassuring words, I was all alone in my bedroom, crying because of you. When you said you'd be there for me, I guess you failed to account for the fact that you can't protect me from yourself.. Because what hurt me these past couple of months was you", you declared, sniffling and, finally, looking into Lando's swollen and tear-filled eyes.

The tears Lando has been holding back fell. He was angry with himself, at how he had done the one thing he promise not to do to you. He made you hurt, he was the reason you were in pain and he couldn't keep you from feeling it.

"I wish I could tell you there was a reason behind it and that it all has some justification, but there isn't and I can't lie to you. I was propelled from the results and the promise that this could be our year - my year - and everything else faded away. I know it's not any help, but I'm not proud of what I did, and definitely not proud of the way I made you hurt - I wish I could turn back time and do it differently", Lando confessed.

"I needed you, Lando", she bit back.

Lando couldn't find any words after that and once you began eating the now cold panini, he followed your movements, granting you the quietest meal you ever shared with him. Lando was playful, loud, cheery and giggly on any other day. As much as it nagged you that your words were the ones to dim that light, you had to put yourself first. Someone had to.

"Can we walk along the marina?", Lando asked once you finished eating, earning your nod to his surprise.

You both get up, Lando paying for your meal at the front before you left the establishment. You walked along, looking at the luxurious boats and yachts before you found a part of the wall that you was comfortable enough to sit on, remaining in silence as you watched a couple of people unlock their yachts and sailing away.

Lando wanted to say something, to prove to you that he was sorry and that he still loves you more than anything, but the fear of saying the wrong thing and hurting you even deeper was not something he wanted to risk.

"You're going to break up with me, aren't you?", Lando voiced the biggest worry on his mind since he left his apartment.

"I walked here, so I had time to think about all of this, and all I could think was that I was going to meet you there, be reminded of all the pain you made me feel, and then we wouldn't see a solution to this. And on my way here, it got harder because I passed by the shop where we always go for croissants, and then that park where I tripped and you carried me home because of my bruised knee even though I could walk just fine, the bench where that lady asked if Mila was our daughter when your brother visited. And when I arrived at the café and saw you, I knew there was no way I could do it", you half smiled.

"I struggled to see what was happening, and I didn't see what was clearly in front of me, and I know I can't undo all of the crap that I've made", Lando pointed out, "but I can say that I love you, Y/N. I love you even more than when I asked you to be my girlfriend, which I never thought was possible, but everyday I love you a little bit more. I know I won't be able to love anyone the way I love you and, honestly, I'm not sure who I am without you, because I've turned into a person I don't recognise anymore and I'm afraid that if I don't have you around, this is the real me, and I don't like it. You make me a better person - since day one! I'll love you forever, but I also understand that you don't need this pressure in your life and that you want us to be over. I deserve that", Lando mumbled.

As much as the idea of not being with you hurt him, he knew it didn't equate to the pain he caused you hence why he deserved it if you dumped him.

"You're making it so hard", your groaned rubbing your temples, "It would have been so much easier if you had told me that you didn't care about this, that you didn't care about me anymore".

"That's never going to happen, Y/N", Lando assured you.

"It would be so much easier if I told you to fuck yourself off, wouldn't it?", you chuckled and Lando got to see a small glimpse of the world's best smile, "but I can't do it - I do think, though, that we need to take some time, for both of us to work on our own things", you suggested.

"I get it, you can have all the time and space you need, Y/N", Lando nodded, "would it be too much to ask if I asked you for another shot?", he wondered as you quirked an eyebrow, "I know you just asked me for some time, and I'll give it to you, but I'm not going to let you entertain the thought that I don't care about you or that I don't love you any longer. I'm still the same person you met all those years ago and I want to remind you why you fell in love with me in the first place - if that's even the case", he blurted, "please".

"Slow steps, okay?", you mused with a small small.

"Is it still the case?", Lando picked up where he left off, "are you still in love with me?".

"If I wasn't in love with you and if I didn't love you, trust me, I wouldn't be here", you smiled, squeezing his hand in yours on top of the warm stone.

Over the last couple of days, you felt lighter. University was finally over for the semester and you could rest, and the whole situation with Lando was better. Even though it hurt to tell him all of those things and see his reaction, and even if Lando still had a lot to make up for, you had to admit you didn't expect to feel like this right away. The right path was being trailed and you couldn't feel more at peace with it.

So far, he kept his respectful distance, which didn't mean that you didn't know he was there. Two days after you met him in the marina, Lando sent you a bunch of flowers to your doorstep, your mother being the one to bring them up to your bedroom since she was arriving from work as the delivery man was about to knock on the door, smirking when she saw who it was from.

You were getting ready to go out for a picnic with Lando. The sunny day invited you to go out and Lando seemed to think the same, sending you a quick text with the location and plan ideas.

"Where are you off to?", your mother asked as she noticed you looking for your hat, "you look very nice, dear".

"Lando invited me for a picnic", you offered her a smile despite the butterfly feeling on your tummy.

"I'm glad you're working things out, Y/N - I know how much you care about him. And even if he hurt you, he's doing the work to get you back - a lot of men would just give up, but not Lando", your mother nudged. She always liked him despite her initial concerns when he moved up the racing ladder and the toll it would take on you. For a brief moment, she was upset that she had been right, but she never lost the hope that the young man dating her daughter would fight for them and for her. For you.

"I'm not sure how long I'll be out, but if I'm not home for dinner, don't worry too much", you added, waving at her before closing the door.

You drove yourself to the park, politely declining Lando's offer to pick you up. As you followed the directions, you spotted Lando under one of the trees, seemingly battling with the corner of the picnic blanket.

"Hey, need help with that?", you called as you approached him, noticing his flustered face at getting caught.

"Hey! It's fine, it's fine", he dusted off his shorts, "I didn't fold the corner properly, never mind iron this", he grumbled.

"We're going to sit on it, I don't think we needed it ironed", you smiled, setting your small backpack on the blanket and occupying the space that wasn't covered with glass containers and pape bags, noticing the logo of your favourite bakery and the sweets shop near Lando's apartment.

"So, I baked these - who knew my oven works, hm?", he joked as he pulled out some granola bars that smelled delicious, "Jon did give me the recipe, but I made them! He says they don't have any harmful raw ingredients in them so there's no danger if they're not cooked properly".

"You could've told me to bring something too", you sighed, "you had all this trouble and I'm just going to sit here and eat it", you reasoned.

"I think we've gathered that I deserve all this trouble, even though I didn't mind doing it - I think I finally get it when people say they find baking relaxing, even if I just threw some oats and syrup on a bowl with nuts and chocolate", Lando shrugged.

You smiled at his antics, "this looks lovely, Lan - thank you", before you grabbed a paper napkin to grab the food.

Lando's heart did a little backflip at the pet name - when he thought about it, he can't remember the last time you called him anything other than his name.

He wiped the thought away as he noticed you get one of the paper bags, "It was no trouble, but I did have to make sure the lady at the pastry shop knew I was the next in line because there was this lady, you should've seen her, she was, like, eighty? I don't know, maybe more than that, and she was very posh and very proper and she was trying to cut in line! Then she started saying something in French and I was like 'no can do, madam! I need to get these croissants for my girlfri- for Y/N because they're her favourites' - I bet she wanted to get them first but I did!", he dramatised the scene, earning your loud laugh. How much he missed that sound.

"Seems like it was a little troublesome, though", you teased. Inside your chest, your heart beat fast at his efforts.

"You're worth it", he smiled before taking a bite of the granola bar, "not to toot my own horn, but for someone who eats pre-prepared meals, this is amazing! Try these!", he offered, forming a shell with his hand before he brought it up to your mouth.

For anyone else, this would be just another set of cute behaviours, but for you, it carried a sense of intimacy you hadn't felt in a while. Taking a bite of it and chewing, you had to admit the balance of the nutty taste and the chocolate was on point, "it is good, Lan! You should make granola bars more often - might even make a side business out of it!", you smiled.

"Charles has some ice-cream, there's alcohol from the other guys too - me? Granola bars", he smiled, eating the rest of it and looking at you. He would never be stupid again. He would never take you for granted. Never ever.

The conversation flowed once you started eating, mainly pointing out the new swings in the park or the pretty blooms that were showing up, and even though you weren't acting like you would had it not happened, it was comfortable and Lando had definitely put some effort into this.

"Thank you for this, Lando", you smiled after you helped him clean up the supplies, making sure he wouldn't have any spills and trouble taking the rest home.

"It's alright, really", Lando mumbled as blood rushed to his cheeks, "it wasn't much, but I wanted to make sure you remembered I'm still in and that I love you more than anything", he smiled, closing the basket and getting up with it to walk back to the car, "which actually brings me to an invite I want to make you", he went back to mumbling again.

The invite was a risk, he knew it. After all, it was the reason that got your relationship here in the first place. Yet, he wanted you there and he thought it would be good. Adding to it, it would be the way that he could make sure he was able to see you as it would be a busy day.

"What is it?", you asked as you walked with him.

"The day after tomorrow, we're going karting - Max and P are coming over for a few days, they arrive tomorrow - and I was wondering if you wanted to join us", he invited, "I know it's not the best environment to be in given al-", he started rambling.

"I'd love to go, Lando", you assured, touching his arm confortingly, "I might need a ride though, if you don't mind doing the detour", you pointed out.

"It's fine, of course we'll pick you up!", he smiled, happy and excited at your answer.

"That's me", you nodded to your mother's car, unlocking it with the key, "thank you so much for this, Lan, I appreciate it a lot", you smiled, raising your stance so you could kiss his cheek, "will you text me the details when you know, please?".

"Yes! Absolutely!", he gave you a big smile again, "until then, Y/N!", he waved.

As Lando walked back to his car, there was an extra spring up on his step, a new found energy and a smile that insisted on not disappearing from his lips.

Little by little, he was slowly getting you back.

"Why are we going this way?", Max asked as Lando took the first exit on the roundabout, "isn't the track that way?".

Lando couldn't contain his smile, "we're going to pick Y/N up first".

Max and Pietra exchanged a look before rhe blonde woman spoke up, "you finally came to your senses?".

"P!", Max scolded.

"It's alright, Max - she's not wrong", Lando added, "but yes, I have, and I'm working on it, respecting her but making sure she knows how much I regret it, how sorry and how bad I feel that it happened and how I'm trying my hardest to make sure it does happen again", Lando turned around once he stopped at the red light, "Thank you for looking after her when I didn't, P. I know you have been a good friend to her, so thank you for that", he added.

"She didn't deserve what you did to her, but I'm happy you figured it out and that you're working on it - I don't say it too often, but if you two ever broke up, I would consider that true love isn't a thing, what you two have is something else entirely", she smiled.

"Excuse me?!", Max dramatised, "what did you just say?".

"Did I lie, Max? Who was it that came home in a nervous fit without any fingernails because they bit all of them off after Lando realised what happened? The same person who couldn't even sleep because of it? Who was it, hm?", she quesioned her boyfriend.

Lando chuckled at his friends, thinking that they really had been made for one another, "you two make me look like the sanest person inside this car", he shook his head, pressing the pedal and turning into your street.

There you were, the person he was sure was made for him too. Your outfit was simple, consisting of black jeans, black trainers, a shirt sleeve polo and a cardigan on your arm.

"Hi guys!", you greeted, getting inside the car and kissing Pietra's cheek before putting your seatbelt on.

"Why don't I get a kiss?", Max pouted.

"Because you stink, that's why", Lando chirped in, "all ready to go back there?", he mused, sending you a wink from the rear view mirror.

Blushing, you nodded before looking at Pietra again, accepting her hand in yours as she gave it a squeeze. For the whole drive to the track, you engaged light conversation, mainly listening to the plans they had for the clips they were filming before they raced eachother since you and P would happily drive around in the karts just to pass the time.

For the first segment, you stayed on the stands, watching the team get the equipment ready.

"How have you been, Y/N?", Pietra asked as she handed you a bottle of water she had gone to her and taking a sip of her own.

"I've been well - university is finally done with and I can actually have a thought that doesn't involve it", you giggled, "and Lando is home", you offered.

"Now, I wasn't going to be so blunt, but that is the subject I wanted to get at", she raised her eyebrows playfully.

"He's... Goodness, he's Lando again, my Lando", you sighed happily, "surely, it still stings a little and we need to work through our issues, but we're trailing our way through them. Learning our ways together - it's a bit like falling in love again and it's such a good feeling", you blushed at your admission, "it's doing us well and we're going with it, and not out of it", you smiled.

"Y/N", Pietra cooed, "you have no idea how make that makes me! It's so good to see you so happy and hopeful", she squeezed your arm, "I was ready to avenge you on him, by the way, Max did us both a favour in telling him, because I was sure what I wanted to do to Lando was considered a crime and I'm a good person", she raised her hands defensively.

Once the boys were done, Max waved at you to come down and meet them, giving them the time to get your equipment ready.

"Come here, I need to make sure you don't fly out of your kart this time", Max called his girlfriend after she was fully equipped to go on the single seater.

You finished the makeshift hairstyle before you looked for the helmet, finding it in Lando's hands, "come here, big head, I'll help you put it on", he smiled.

As you approached him, you could see his sudden nervousness at having you so close to him, hands setting the helmet on top of your head and then pulling in on, "Look who's talking", you mumbled quickly before it was all the way in, his fingers gingerly touching your neck as he did the strap buckle.

"All good for our speed daredevils?", Max joked, getting an instant slap from Pietra before he got up.

"Does it feel safe, Y/N?", Lando checked with you, making you wiggle a little to make sure you were strapped tightly enough, making you flash his two thumbs up.

"Ready, set, go!", Max yelled before you and Pietra went off, happily driving on the track despite not extracting the full potential out of the kart.

"You and Y/N seem well", Max offered as him and Lando took a break before they joined you back at the track.

"I don't think I'll ever stop feeling this guilt on my chest, it's like a weird weight that sits here and gets heavy every now and again", Lando explained, "but I think we're going in the right direction, and I'm going to spend every day of our lives making sure it never happens again. Y/N will never doubt my love or affection for her. I just want to make her happy now that she knows I know how much I screwed us up".

"I'm proud of you, man", Max tapped his back.

"You're what?", Lando asked, a little flustered at his bestfriends words.

"I'm proud of you, Lando - you're dealing with this in such a good way! I'm not saying I doubted you would, but seeing you actually do it and make it happen in such a grown up, loving and accountability filled way makes me proud of who you became. As much as I joke about it, what P said in the car was true - you and Y/N are it. Whenever I think about what endgame is, you two are the first thing that comes to mind", he admitted.

"Thanks, mate", Lando replied earnestly.

After a couple of laps from you, you saw the boys joining you in the track, making you assure that whenever they lapped you, you made a Mario Kart like noise, always managing to get a smile and a headshake from Lando and Max.

Once you were done, Max and Pietra volunteered to take all of the supplies back to the storage room.

"Did you enjoy your day, Y/N?", Lando asked as he approached you.

Surprising him, you nodded before you hugged him, "I haven't been this happy in a long time", you cuddled him, letting your head rest on his chest and letting yourself feel enveloped by his arms after the initial shock wore off.

"I'm glad", Lando uttered out before he composed himself, "I just want you to know that I could fulfill all your dreams and that there I'll never do anything to hurt you again. I'm well aware of all shit I've done and put you through, and how accountable I am for it. I just want to make you happy", he chuckled, "I don't want anything else in this world other than to make you happy, to show you how much I love you and that I want make this work, I want to make us work", he let out in such a serious and intense tone that you could feel a knot forming your throat, "you were my first love and I want you to be my last, Y/N".

"Lan...", you gasped softly, "I know it hasn't been good for you, but I just need a little bit more time to put it behind me, once for all", you added.

"I know, and that's alright", he mumbled against the top of your head, "I just wanted you to know that it is coming straight from my heart - everything I do, I do it for you", plucking up the courage to press a kiss there.

You closed your eyes and basked in the feeling, "two Bryan Adams references in the same sentence from the guy who used to DJ? You impress me, Lando Norris", you giggled and teased him playfully, feeling the rubble from his own laugh on his chest.

"I'll make sure to impress you everyday that we're alive, Y/N Y/L/N", he promised.

And he intended to keep it.

Lando invited you to his apartment for a cosy night in, thinking the plans over and over while he waited for you to arrive.

The delivery service was faster than he expected so he wrapped the takeout boxes in all of the kitchen towells he had so they would help retain the heat while you weren't there yet.

The whole apartment was tidy, he had your favourite blanket on the sofa and the TV had your favourite shows ready to stream in the background as you hopefully shared a comforting meal.

Your acceptance to come to his place made Lando feel very pleased with the way you were trailing in your relationship. He had been able to correct his mistakes and make you happy again. Even though there had been moments where he seemed to forget, he now knew that you had always been and will always be a priority in his life. He had never been in love with anyone else, and he was sure he would always be in love with you until his last breath.

A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts, heading up to the door to open it, "Hello hello! Come in", he gestured as you stepped inside, pecking his lips on the way - a few days prior, you had kissed him out of nowhere when you went to the bookshop and you swore he looked like a cartoon, all wide eyes and blushy cheeks.

Lando assured you you wouldn't leave the house and it would be just the two of you, so you hadn't bothered to put together a proper outfit, opting to wear a pair of leggings and an old Quadrant hoodie.

"I wasn't sure if I should bring anything, so I stopped by the sweets shop to get some of these hard candies, apparently they're very trendy now", you giggled sweetly as you set the bag on his hands so you could take your trainers off.

"You didn't have to, but thanks! We'll do a taste test after dinner - which is here by the way", he guided you to the living room.

Unravelling the mountain of kitchen towells, he had you sit down before he opened the containers, handing you a plate after you chose a bit of each of the dishes he ordered, "thank you, Lan", you smiled, sitting criss-cross on the sofa and waiting for him to do the same before you started eating.

"These are really good, have you tried them? They're new on their menu and when the guy explained it to me, I thought you'd like it", he pointed to one of the bite sized pieces.

"They are! They're not too heavy on the seasoning and they're really nice when you dip them in this sauce - try it!", you offered him the small cup.

"Is this going to be like the time you made me dip my spring rolls in that other sauce you claimed was the best thing in the world?", he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just try it, Lan!", you insisted, getting one from your plate, dipping it in the sauce and taking it up to Lando's mouth, your hand under the chopsticks in case some of it fell on his clothes.

Lando chewed it before nodding and humming in satisfaction, "is it good", he admitted with a smile after he wiped his lips.

Once you finished eating, you helped Lando bring everything back to the kitchen, saving the leftovers on his fridge, washing the plates and putting them away.

"You didn't have to help, I could've done it myself", Lando nudged before he laced your hand in his and pulled you back to the living room, "do you want to watch something?", he asked.

"There's this new Disney movie I haven't watched if you're up for it - or any of the shows we usually watch, I'm not picky", you answered quickly.

"Disney it is", he smiled sitting down and resting his arm on the back of the sofa, hoping you'd sit next to him and cuddle him.

You shuffled around before grabbing the fluffy blanket, pulling it over your legs and tentatively closing the distance between you, taking the plunge and taking a spot on his chest.

Once the movie was playing, Lando's arm dropped to wrap around you, lulling you closer to him and rubbing your arm.

"I can hear you thinking, and I'm sure you're not thinking about that little goat", you nodded to the screen.

"I'm watching the movie, I swear - and he's quite funny actually! He's also Mila's favourite character, at least he was last week", Lando chuckled, "but I was also thinking about us", he admitted.

"You were?", you turned to look up at him, wanting to know more.

"You do know I will apologize for what I did until the end of our lives, don't you?", Lando reflected out loud.

"Lando, stop it, it's forgiven and forgotten", you offered.

"Is it really?", he asked, a small smile breaking his way into his lips.

"It is, it's behind us now", you kissed his clothed chest.

"I will never forget it, though. It doesn't matter how many times you tell me to forget it or that you've forgiven me", he let out a shaky sigh, "I don't think I will, I hate myself for what did to you, the hurt that I caused you".

"Lando, let's not talk about it right now - not now, not ever. It's a part of our story, yes, and we learned from it, but I don't want to to remember every day. We are good now, and I don't want you to torture yourself with something that is out of your reach and that you can't change", you told him sternly, now sitting back against the sofa so you can face your boyfriend, "Promise me we won't mention this again, Lando".

"You're right", Lando agrees, "Okay, you're right, I promise, Y/N", he stated with a smile.

Your delicate lips peck his quickly before you go in for a second kiss, longer and more intense this time, and you both got lost in eachother.

You couldn't change what happened, but you could learn from it and work everyday to make sure it never happened again.

Lando was crazy about you, about who he was when was with you and how you made him feel, and you felt the same way about him.

"I love you, Lando", you smiled after you pulled away, resting your forehead in his.

"I love you forever, Y/N", he whispered, sealing his promise with a peck and bracing himself, "I'm never taking you for granted, and maybe this is a big gesture and I'm not sure how much this fits our new way - new patch? It's not a patch if we want it to last forever, right? - anyway, I would like to ask you to move in with me", Lando stated, "it doesn't have to be tomorrow or right away, we'll do it when you're ready! I just- I spend so much time of the year away as it is, and I don't want to cut the short time even shorter when it comes to you, so this way we'll be together for a bit longer - even if it's just at nightime and we can intertwine our legs or I can warm up the bed for you", he rambled on and you were sure he wouldn't stop anytime soon.

"Hey, hey! Lando, baby", you cupped his face with your hands, "look at me", you smiled as you straddled his lap, your thighs on each side of his and keeping you from fully sitting on him, "good now?".

"Well, since you're already there - sit, please", Lando added before he allowed himself to stress about your answer.

"I don't want to squash you", you mumbled.

Laying his hands in your thighs, he pulled you down, "I said sit down", he spoke sternly despite the playful glint on his eyes, "it's my home after all, I get to make the rules".

"Oh, I thought it was our home, but maybe I misread th-", your playfulness was cut short as your boyfriend flipped you around, your back hitting the soft sofa cushion with a yelp.

"You're moving in? For real?", he asked.

"Yes, baby, I'm moving in", you cupped his cheek, pulling him for a kiss, "I love you".

"My love, I'm going to spend everyday reminding you how beautiful, how strong", he started kissing your face with every word, "how kind, how amazing, how sexy, how hot, how smart, how kind, how incredible you are", he stopped just above your lips, "how all mine you are - I love you Y/N, forever", before he kissed your lips.

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris fic #lando norris x you #lando norris fluff #lando norris angst #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff #f1 angst #ln4 x reader

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getitoutofmymindwrites · 2 months

Text

The crushing | joel miller x f!reader, 5.2k

Summary: This is the story of a man who had everything in the palm of his hand and traded it all for an empty space in the hollow of his heart. Or This story follows Joel, two to three years after he cheated on his wife.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, ANGST, cheater!Joel, Joel's POV, this is NOT “The Falling” from Joel's POV, brief mention of smut (p i v) but nothing too graphic (I think), self-loathing, depression, therapy, flashbacks and memories from the past, alcohol consumption, Tommy being a supportive brother (eventually), as always let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Ok, so, Joel gave me a whiplash on this one, he was either staring at me through the screen giving me nothing, or he was mumbling unintelligibly in my ear while I was trying to keep up with him. It started out as a final chapter, but I really think that this part should be Joel's POV and the next and -probably- final one should be the resolving, however that may come. I guess it can be read as a standalone, but if you're interested, it's a sequel to “The Falling”. I edited it seven thousand times because I kept adding things along the way, so I hope it all makes some sense and there are not too many mistakes.. Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all! 🥰😘

P.S.: I just wanted to take a moment and let you know that I really appreciate everyone who has read, liked, commented, reblogged and asked about “The Falling”. I honestly didn't think a single soul would take the time to read that kind of story. It means more than you know and I didn’t take lightly how close to home this fic hit for some people; yet you’ve given it a chance, sharing some of your own experiences with me. I love you all, take care and I'll see you -hopefully- in the comments! 🥹🫂

Dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics

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...need your reassurance...

...your only focus…

...for the foreseeable future...

He did make it his sole focus. Because of course, he closed the deal, even after he left that damn table like a madman. He still found a way to get what he wanted. That's the man he was. And he wasn't sure if he hated himself for it or not. But self-loathing was a daily occurrence now, so one more reason added to the list was nothing he couldn't handle.

For two years he would wake up every day, is it called waking up if he doesn’t sleep at all?, he would work his ass off, he would go home, he would sink into despair and then he would start all over again the next day. A vicious cycle consisting of 730 days in a row. The deafening silence within the walls of the house was excruciating, the loneliness was unbearable. Even the light penetrating through the windows seemed different than when you were there with him, a dullness surrounding every corner of the now barely lived in space.

You. He hadn’t seen your face in 730 days. He hadn’t smelled your scent or touched your soft skin. He barely listened to your voice anymore, any form of unavoidable communication, you preferred to be conducted by the lawyers, or via text messages, at the most. At the 731st one, he finally knew, something had to change. He couldn’t repeat another day, like all the others that came and went. He simply couldn’t.

Tommy suggested that therapy might help Joel, a few times, but he refused every one of them. Maria was keeping her distance, her place was delicate, being his brother’s wife but also his wife’s best friend. Surprisingly, she was the one who finally got through to him.

“Are you gonna stay a recluse for the rest of your miserable life, then?” Maria wonders, switching her gaze between Joel and the dining room. Everything was untouched, as you left them when you moved out, but the place felt empty, depressing, probably mirroring Joel’s existence.

Joel sighs, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m not a recluse..”, he snarls through his teeth, rolling his eyes at her. He was more than eager to be done with the dinner his sister-in-law insisted on having in his house and be left alone, in his natural state. Alone. Infuriating woman.

“What do you call that?”, Maria persists, goddamn lawyer to the bone.

“What?!” Joel spits back pissed off, looking at his brother next, for support.

“That!” she gestures around his body and his surroundings. “The way you go on for the past two years! Either get over it or do something about it!”, she doesn’t hold back, even when Tommy proposes a gentler approach. Yeah, look where it got you, is the paid answer, so Tommy steps back, shaking his head and raising his hands up in surrender.

“You’ve got him on a leash, hm?”, Joel jokes absentmindedly, “Can you breathe alright, Tommy boy?”, earning himself a hard glare from Maria.

“Maybe the wrong Miller is on a leash..” Maria mutters, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen in horror.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Joel retorts doing a double back at her.

“Means that freedom is for those who can bear it.”, Maria throws her napkin on her plate and leaves the room. Joel remains silent, pondering the meaning of her words. It would be a long time before he understood what she meant.

Therapy was hard.

Therapy was hard because he had to do it for himself. He had to concentrate on himself. He thought, being the contractor that he was, that he would walk into the room, get the answers he needed and fix his marriage, just as he rearranged the bricks and the wood and the steel on the construction sites.

But this wasn’t about his marriage. His marriage and the way it crumbled down was the aftermath, he came to learn. It was the outcome of insecurities, selfishness, lack of communication, ungratefulness.

He got it all wrong. Everything. Every little thing. He had to rewire his brain and change every point of view he was holding onto. Honesty. Honesty was the key.

“Why didn’t you reach out to your wife after that night?”, his therapist insists.

“I respected her boundaries.”, Joel was quick to respond.

“And what were those?”

“She didn’t want to see me.”

“Did she say that?”

“No-, I mean-, the way she left that night, she didn’t say much in general. But she blocked my number, so.”, he shrugs in defence.

“So, how can you be so sure that she didn't want to see you? Even if you're right, it doesn't mean that she didn't expect a reaction from you, or that you weren't allowed to try, if that’s what you wanted.”

“Why would she? I upset her, she needed time to think, work things out.”, Joel explains.

The therapist swipes her fingers over her lips, contemplating her approach. “Joel, you walk into your bedroom, into what is supposed to be a safe place and you see your partner with another person in an intimate moment. How does that make you feel? Just say the first words that come to mind.”, his therapist changes the point of view.

Joel shudders just at the thought of it. You, naked, flushed, lips parted and swollen, skin sweaty, breaths short and pupils blown wide, coming for anyone other than him. It would utterly destroy him. “Furious, pissed, betrayed, heartbroken.. I think I would lose it, if I’m honest.” he admits instantly, in his haste to throw the abomination of this image from his thoughts.

“I see. But in her case, you think your wife was just upset?”

“No, of course not.” Joel slightly frowns, shaking his head.

“Do you think she felt all those feelings that you just described to me?”

“I believe so, yes.”, god this is so hard.

“You believe so?” the therapist pushes, again.

Joel’s nostrils flare from the sharp inhale, “I know so.”

“So, she wasn’t just upset.” the therapist concludes and Joel agrees without meeting her eyes, “No, she wasn’t.”

Over time, Joel came to realize that his choice of words was a subconscious attempt to diminish the seriousness of his actions.

“You said in a previous session that you gave space to your wife to work things out.”

“Yeah, it was only fair.”, Joel confirms.

“So, it was hard for you to give her that space?”

“Yes, of course, I missed her every day.”

“Was that a constant in your relationship?”, the therapist wonders.

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“How did you work things out as a couple, before? I assume you had difficult times as partners, no?”

“Nothing major to be honest, my wife was a very calm and reasonable person. If anything occurred she would talk to me about it.”

“And how did you respond to that?”

“Uh, I was there to listen, we always found a solution together as a couple.”

“Hmhm, so, what changed this time?”

“What do you mean?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“Why didn’t you talk to her? Communicate with her? Maybe help her see your side of things, like you did before, find your way out of this together, as partners.” his therapist explains. “And even before the infidelity, did you let her know that something was bothering you, that you felt differently?”

"I didn't feel differently about my wife. My feelings for her never changed.", he immediately corrects her. "My love for her was never the problem," he confesses and it's the first time since his therapy began that he's shared something so personal, so private.

“But there was a problem, something was wrong if you felt the need to be intimate with another woman. So, why did you keep that from her?”

Joel opens his mouth already knowing he does not have an answer. Or that he doesn't want to give one. He shakes his head, raising his brows in a silent admission that he can’t answer that. Or he won't. His gaze is fixed on a loose thread on the fabric of the couch, his fingers keep picking on it.

“Joel?”

“I- I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t know.” he keeps shaking his head. He can’t answer that. He won't.

He was so angry when he left the session that day. He was so angry at you. He was angry at your honesty, your clarity, your courage to have a mind of your own and to speak it freely, knowing full well that probably no one else shared the same opinions as you did. That's what he loved most about you, but now he hated it.

“Own it, Joel. Own what you have done. At least that way it will be worth something. Otherwise it was all for nothing.”

This was one of the last things you said to him on the phone, while he was trying to persuade you to change your mind about the divorce. You were always so brave about those matters. Matters of the heart, of integrity. He remembers you always talking about things that he found admirable but utopian. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

“I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to own my decisions; not because I’m always right, far from it, but at least I know I’m being honest with myself. And that matters.” he recalls one of your late-night talks.

You usually found it easier to share your most vulnerable thoughts once you were thoroughly fucked and satiated. When Joel held you in his arms, your breaths almost shared over the same pillow, your scents and your fluids mixed together.

“We’re all imperfect beings, flawed; we all feel embarrassed when we fuck up,” you continue, “it’s hard to admit our mistakes to others, I get that. But deep down we always know what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Admitting it only helps us to be present in our lives.”

“Be present?”, Joel seems fascinated by the way your mind weaves your thoughts together into deeply rooted beliefs.

“Yes, my love, there's no greater freedom than to live your life truthfully.” you smile at him, softly. Your sleepy eyes roam his face affectionately. Your fingertips caress his jawline, your thumb pressing lightly against the bare patch of his beard. He can feel your devotion pouring from your fingers and sinking into his skin at that moment.

“That’s one of my greatest fears, you know. Living my life in ignorance, in a lie.”, you whisper your deepest insecurity against his soft lips. His hold on you tightens as he rolls you onto your back, nestling his hips between your welcoming thighs. You are safe in these arms. His arms. You surrender to him, body and soul. You can feel his growing erection pressing between your folds, already wet from your combined releases. He tenderly brushes his lips against yours and slowly licks his way into your parted mouth, as he intertwines his fingers with yours. He enters you in one fluid, slow thrust, his warm exhale cooling your wet lips. “Then let me give you something real.”

Thinking back to those moments, Joel couldn't reconcile himself to the fact that he was the one who had brought that fear of yours to life. What broke him was that it was not a lie. Your life together had not been a lie. He loved you. In fact, he was burning up for you. He was a man of control, but not with you. Never with you. You consumed his every thought; being around you for too long made his lungs constrict in pain, begging for a deep breath. Sometimes he was worried sick that if he completely let himself love you like he needed to, he would suffocate you. He loved you. And it killed him that his actions suggested otherwise.

But at some point he had to be honest with himself. He was just protecting his ego. He was trying to get the upper hand out of a shitty, compromising situation. He wasn't being thoughtful, he was being selfish. He was biding his time. He thought the longer he left ‘it’ untouched, the less it would hurt when the inevitable time of confrontation came. He was scared out of his mind that he would lose you forever. No second chances, no redemption, no reconciliation.

No lingering scent on his pillow as your hair pools there, under his chin, as you nestle your face between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in. No laughter through the enormous house, damn, why did he build it so big; you never clarified what the disbelief in your eyes meant when he said he built this house for you, while he pulls you up on your feet for a silly cowboy dance.

No more gentle touches, no more noses brushing together as a silent goodbye in the kitchen before you rush off to work. No more turning around just before you open the door to leave, running to him like a little girl, giving him quick, hungry pecks on the lips while he laughs on your mouth, squeezes your butt cheek and slaps it playfully to say goodbye. Later, baby, he would promise you, his teeth nipping at your earlobe and he could feel your skin crawling with anticipation.

No more I love yous, either breathed, either whispered, either panted, as he makes a home for himself inside your warmth.

When did he fuck you last? He used to have you every day. You craved it every day. You craved him. Why did he stop telling you he loved you every chance he got? When was the last time you said it?

A week before that fateful night, when you touched him longingly, aching for him to touch you back and he told you he had work to do, he wasn’t a teenager anymore. Why the hell did he say that? Why did he sit there and watch the light fading from your eyes? I love you, you said with a sigh against his temple and walked out of his office defeated. Why did you say that? Did you know? Did you suspect? Why didn’t you fight him? You should have said something, anything, pushed him, punched him in the chest, woken him up. Would he have woken up? Or did he need that to come to his senses? Does he have to fall? Does this falling ever stop? Does he have to let you go? Will you come back to him? Does he deserve you?

Days blurred seamlessly into one another. Joel drifted further and further away from everyone. The house haunted him, all the progress he was making within the therapy walls was dissipating once he stepped inside the cold space of his empty house. Leaving the confines of it was his first thought in the morning, while he hurriedly dressed to go to his office far earlier than necessary and his last when he closed his eyes, as he laid his weary limbs on the couch, chasing still your now long gone scent on its fabric, knowing another sleepless night was his only companion until the first rays of sunlight hit the floor-to-ceiling windows to announce the beginning of another day.

People at work tiptoed around him, not knowing how to act. It was as if he was there, but not really. He was focused solely on the Marks project, mechanically going through board meetings, paperwork and supervising the construction site. He. Just. Wasn’t. There.

Joel, will you please sign the papers?

He simply stares at the text message for a good full minute, his thumbs hovering over the screen of his phone. This was one of the rare occasions you had initiated communication with him, always about the progress of the divorce.

No, no, I won’t, the little toddler in him screams, stamping his little feet on the ground.

The papers are not ready.

Joel texts back. He keeps it simple, frightened he might not get an answer back.

Joel, we both know they are. I don’t want any of your assets or your money; this is an easy signature, please.

An easy signature? You think he cares about the houses, or the cars, or the money?

You know I can’t accept that. The house is yours and so is a good part of the money.

The point was to share this house together, Joel, don’t you think us splitting up kind of defeats the purpose? And what on earth makes you think I would ever want to go back in there?

So, there’s nothing I can do to make this easier for you?

Easier? You think money or property can make up for what you’ve done?

Of course not, I wasn’t implying anything like that. Just wanna do something for you, anything.

Can you turn back time?

Of course, he can't. So, he doesn't know what to say to that. He just keeps staring at the screen, lost in thought. After 2 minutes another text follows.

You know I can’t..

Sign the papers. Please.

“Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today, or should I take the lead?”

“Actually I’ve been thinking a lot about that night.”, Joel suggests for the first time. He usually lets the therapist decide where to steer the conversation, then simply refuses to elaborate until he feels ready to talk.

“What about it?”, he shifts his gaze from the window to the direction of her voice.

“I should probably rephrase that. I’m always thinking about that night, repeating it in my head again and again and I’m troubled by something I realized.”

His therapist nods to signal that she's listening.

“Why did she just leave? The more I think about it, the more it doesn’t make sense to me. She just left. No shouting, no breaking things, no attacking either me or-”, her. “Why she didn’t stay? Why she didn’t insist that I leave? She was just- so quiet.”

The therapist smiles in recognition of Joel's near breakthrough. They were beginning to get somewhere, his empathy nudging him under the surface.

“I'm really glad you mentioned that, Joel, so I'd like to take you back to that night and try to understand what might have been going through your wife's mind at that moment," she explains.

“So, she walks into the house, finds her safe space violated by her husband, and she chooses to handle the situation calmly and quietly-” Joel tries to stop her, but she already knows what he's going to ask. “I can't tell you why she chose that path, that's for her to answer, only she knows why.” His therapist continues, “She is making one request of you and one request only, can you tell me what it is?”

“She asked me to leave the house.”

“Hmhm.” the therapist looks at him expectantly.

“I just wanted to talk to her.”, Joel elaborates, “I thought that if I refused to leave, she would accept to listen to me.”

“So you forced your needs on her, while she was in a particularly fragile state of mind.”

“I should have made my intentions clearer, you mean?”

“I mean, that maybe you shouldn’t have had any expectations in the first place. Why do you think was so important to you, to explain yourself right at that moment?”

“Because I knew it was probably the last time I would see her for a while, I just wanted to ease her pain, why is that so wrong? Should I be indifferent? Would that be better?”

“Did it ever occur to you that you might be depriving her of her right to choose?” Come on, Joel, break some eggs.

Joel now begins to make connections. He rubs his hand over his face, the realization of what has really happened crushing him. “Oh, god, I-” He's been so selfish from the start. He hasn't shown you any respect, not even at this delicate moment. He didn't give you a choice as to whether you wanted to listen to him or not. He didn't even let you choose where you wanted to stay. He just made you leave the house. Did he make you believe he wanted you to leave? That he wanted her to stay? Because he didn’t. Fuck. “-I never thought about it like that.”

Fuck.

How could he be so blind? Why was he so blind?

His therapist insisted on it. Because no matter how much progress Joel made over the course of a year, he never revealed the true reason behind his infidelity.

“Joel, we’ve talked about a lot of things; you’ve tried really hard to make this all about your wife and about understanding what she was feeling and how your actions have affected her, but as I keep reminding you”, she smiles understandingly, “you’re the one in therapy, you need to heal your wounds before you even attempt to heal hers. And although it is in fact a really noble thought, this” she gestures between them, “can only work if you do it for yourself. I know it may sound selfish, but I promise you, it is not. It is the exact opposite.”

Fuck.

“Yeah?”, his voice hoarse from sleep as he answers the door after the insistent knock at it. Tommy looks at him surprised once he opens it, “You’re sleeping, already?”. No, he wasn’t. He wouldn’t call it that. But when he goes almost a week without any proper rest, passing out is the right word for what he’s doing. “Yeah, I guess I dosed off..” Joel lies. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” Tommy responds as he squeezes himself through the door to enter the house. “Yeah, sure, come on in.”, Joel mutters under his breath. “You just saw me at work this morning, is everything all right?”

“I just came to check on you.” Tommy confesses uncomfortably.

“You could have called.”

“Would you have answered?” Tommy deadpans.

Touché.

“Tell Maria I’m fine, Tommy, no need to worry about me; go spend the night where it counts.”, Joel replies in an attempt to push him away, as he walks farther into the house, rounding the kitchen island.

“Hey, brother, I’m here, I am here for you.” Tommy’s eyes narrow in pain and concern as he stares at his sibling's back, following behind him.

Joel exhales hard through his nose, his grip tight as he grabs the edges of the counter, his head lowering between his shoulder blades.

“You shouldn’t, nobody should.” Joel sighs, rubbing the pads of his fingers across his forehead.

“Ok, that’s enough.” Tommy snaps at him. “Enough self-loathing, enough resignation. Enough. You’ve punished yourself enough.”

Joel laughs at that. “Is that right? Is it enough for you? What about her?” he asks, his head turned to the side, looking at his brother over his shoulder.

“What?” Tommy is genuinely confused.

Joel turns his back, resting his waist on the edge of the counter, now looking straight at Tommy. “I should have what? Just get on with my life? Let it all be water under the bridge? Disrespect her even more?”

“Jesus..” Tommy mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand, the other resting on his hip, his eyes shut in frustration.

“Are you doing this for her? Does she even know that?”

“It doesn’t matter, Tommy!” Joel raises his voice, exasperated. “I’m not doing this for her, I’m not doing anything for her, apparently and that’s the problem.”, his voice breaks, the lump in his throat too big to push down. “She’s not here anymore, Tommy.” he’s standing fully on his feet now, pushing himself away from the counter, leaning slightly forward, like he’s trying to make his brother understand; his eyes are glazed, Tommy had never seen him so devastated before. “She’s gone. I’ve lost her.”, his palms clenched in fists in front of his chest, resisting the urge to wrap them around his shirt and rip it to shreds, as he wants to do with his heart.

“I thought therapy was working..” Tommy whispers, his eyes dropping to the floor beneath him.

“Oh, it’s working, all right!” Joel chuckles in irony, sniffing his nose. “I’m getting a front-row seat, witnessing what a piece of shit I am-”

“Hey!” Tommy tries to cut him off.

“-what on earth was she doing with me to begin with, is beyond me.”

“HEY!” Tommy's eyes bulge out of his sockets, angry at his brother's self-deprecating words. Joel bends his waist forward, puts his elbows on the island in front of him and lets his head sink in again.

“Ok.” Tommy breathes deeply to ground himself, his hands in a position of a prayer in front of his mouth, “Ok, we could both use a drink.” he realizes, as he moves to open the cupboard to grab two tumblers and the whiskey from the shelf with the drinks. “..or five.”

The two brothers drink their first round in silence, both calming their nerves down. Tommy refills their glasses without asking; he knows this is going to be a long night.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Tommy begins, pushing Joel’s drink back towards him. Joel wringles his brows in confusion, “What are you talking about? You’re always there for me.”

“No, I haven’t, not really.” Tommy admits, “I let Maria take over when all this happened and I’m sorry.”

“There was nothing you could do, Tommy, don’t sweat it.”

“Let me say this, please.” Tommy raises his hand, his palm facing his brother. “I was just- fuck, we all knew how much you loved her, how much you loved each other, so when it all went down, I just didn’t know how to deal with it. What to say to you, how to comfort you. I didn't know how to deal with you.”

“You blamed me.” Joel says matter-of-factly.

“No-”, Tommy weakly refuses but Joel shakes his head dismissively, interrupting him. “It’s ok, Tommy, you should.”

Tommy looks embarrassed, his cheeks slightly pinkish, not only from the whiskey. “It’s just that I- I couldn’t reconcile the image of the man you were with her, with.. you know..”, he stutters.

“..the image of a cheater. Say it.” Joel adds.

Tommy shakes his head, like he still can't believe what's happened. “Besides, while she was staying with us those first few weeks I saw how devastated she was, man- she was a shell of a woman, so I was confused, I didn’t know how-”

“Tommy. Tommy, it’s fine.” Joel feels his skin crawl visualizing you like that in his head, cutting his brother off once again; he deserves every ounce of mistrust and he knows it.

“No, it’s not.” Tommy insists. “Yes, you fucked up. Brother, you really did. You did a number on her-”, Joel’s body tenses instantly at his brother’s words, his jaw clenching as his eyes darken, moving down to his hands, his grip on the tumbler tightening, his knuckles turning white and Tommy stops abruptly, “shit, sorry, I didn’t mean-”, his face twitches with regret.

“It’s the truth. That’s exactly what I did.” Joel’s gaze seems detached as if he's somewhere else right now.

“What I meant to say, is that I should have been there for you in spite of what has happened. I can see you're suffering, it's taking its toll on you, it has been for some time now; tell me what I can do. How can I help you?” Tommy seems almost desperate, like he’s the one in need of redemption.

Your text flashes through his mind, can you turn back time?, making him smile bitterly.

“Can you turn back time?” Joel's repeating your question and as the words leave his mouth he can feel your presence next to him. That's the most he felt of you for the last three years. He's almost blissful.

“You know I can't.” Tommy sighs. Joel laughs earnestly, the irony of the moment too good not to appreciate.

“Joel, brother, please, just talk to me. Help me understand. You act like you’re the one who’s been cheated on. So, what happened? Why did you do it?” Tommy is pleading with him to give him anything.

Silence fills the room for much longer than either of them would like. Joel feels torn between telling his brother everything or keeping his mouth shut. He wants to tell him, he hasn’t told a soul, but he’s not sure he can get the words out. He’s not sure he can bear to hear the words coming out of his mouth. He’s not sure he can substantiate it, make it real. Because that’s how it feels. He talks about it and it becomes real.

But maybe this is the right thing to do. That’s what needs to be done. He needs to talk about it. He needs to tell the truth and admit the pain he’s caused. Make it real for you, too. Perhaps it is time for him to give you what is rightfully yours. Acknowledgment.

Joel’s made up his mind. He’s gonna talk to Tommy. He lifts his glass to down his drink for some liquid courage, freezing his hand in mid-air as the next words fall from his brother’s mouth. “First of all, who was it?”

“What?” Joel's eyes search Tommy’s through his glass for an explanation.

“Who did you do?”, Tommy clarifies.

Joel feels like he’s been struck by lightning. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Who did you fuck, Joel?”, Tommy begins to feel confused, are they not on the same page here?

“You don’t know?”, Joel can barely speak now, his voice low in shock.

“No one does, not even Maria; she never told anyone.”

You told nobody? Not even your best friend? Why on earth would you do that? Did you feel ashamed? Was it just too much to talk about?

But his brain takes pity on him, helping him for once to understand. He’s connecting the dots while your voice fills the corners of his mind through his memories. His head is swarming with images of you standing in that walk-in closet, remembering what you said the last time he saw you. You’re the one I married, not her. I expected better from you, Joel, not her.

You were right.

It didn’t matter who it was. That is why. He was the one making the choice. He was the one breaking his promises, breaking your trust, breaking your heart; breaking you. He was the one who should have known better. He was the one who should have been honest. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

He feels a fresh wave of pain scattering through his body. He welcomes it. Damn, he’s craving it. He’s glad you chose to withhold the identity of the woman. Not because somehow it’s making it easier for him to defend himself, on the contrary.

There’s no one else to blame. Nobody. Just him. All of the anger, the resentment, the disappointment, all of them on him. He embraces them all. Everything. He will take it all, swallow it down and let it rot inside of him.

Joel tells Tommy everything. Everything, but her name.

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Taglist: @southernbe, @orcasoul, @auteurdelabre

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bangtanficsforyou · 8 months

Text

Fine Line (JJK)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader.

Au: Enemies to lovers.

Word count: 2.4K

Genre: angst, smut, fluff (i am ninety percent sure I'll write a part two at some point with all the spice)

Summary: You hate Jungkook. Jungkook hates you. It's simple. Until it isn't.

A/N: here's my patreon for early access to all my works and exclusive drabbles and aneek peaks!

"You're beautiful," he speaks loudly to be heard over the loud blaring music.

"Thank you," you express your appreciation not only through your words but also through your red hot cheeks and shy smile.

His hand tightens around your waist as the both of you sway gently along with the music. "You're welcome, pretty."

Chuckling, you place one of your palms on his chest and look up at him.

The night has been filled with subtle touches, light teasing and full of laughter. You didn't expect you'd have this much fun when you agreed to go on a date with the guy you matched with, a few weeks ago. But it has been a pleasant surprise so far and you have been feeling glad over the decision of going out tonight.

You both dance with low giggles and occasional compliments are thrown in the air. That is until the music changes into something more upbeat.

"Would you like to go to the bar?"

You're relieved on hearing that question and couldn't agree sooner. It's not unknown to you that with the change of music comes the typical club activity aka grinding on each other. And you're not in the mood for that so it's rather wise to remove yourself from the dance floor.

One might question, why then did you choose a club of all places? Simple reason, a crowded place is safe for a first date. Why not a restaurant? Because you were not really that excited about the date at first and a restaurant felt a bit too intimate. What if there's no flow of conversation? What will you do then? Sit there awkwardly and enjoy the sounds of knives and forks?

Hence, clubbing.

You two sit yourselves next to each other on stools and ask the bartender to make the both of you drinks. Something sweet for you, something strong for him.

"What's the last book that you have indulged yourself in?"

You perk up at the mention of books. You had mentioned to him previously that you absolutely love reading books and you would stay in fictional worlds if you could. And you're impressed that he remembers that small piece of detail.

You tell him about the book you're currently reading and all the reasons why you love it. You get even more excited when he adds his recent reading experiences and from then on, there's no stopping the chit-chat between you two.

The conversation moves on from books to people in both of your lives and then to food and then lord knows, to what.

At some point, you both get tipsy and you can tell he's more affected by the drinks than you are. It gets to the point where you feel like it's better for him to head home now before he gets to a stage where he cannot get home by himself.

"You should probably stop with the drinks now," you suggest, softly. "Would you like for me to book you a cab?"

He dismisses your words with a wave of his hand. "Nah, sweetheart, I am only getting started."

He throws his hand in the air and before you can register what's happening, he's placing them over your shoulders. His fingers rub the skin of your arms and he grins at you. You squirm in your seat, suddenly finding his grin to be not that attractive. You try to tell yourself that there's nothing to be scared of, some people tend to get a little touchy when they get drunk.

"The night has only got started, sweetheart," he mutters, getting incredibly close to you. You think he's attempting that thing where someone whispers in your ears in a sexy gruff voice in hopes that it'd be attractive. But if anything, you shiver in disgust and fear.

You try to put some distance between the two of you but he doesn't budge. It's only when you put a little more force that you're successful at your attempts.

He's taken off guard by your sudden use of force but his surprise fades and he smirks. "Do you like it rough, babygirl?"

Okay, that's it.

"I need to go use the washroom," you come up with the most basic excuse ever but you doubt in his drunk state, he'd ever pay attention to how lame you sound.

You're right in your assumption that he doesn't pay attention. However, he's not happy that you're leaving him. "You should not leave me here. We should leave together for my place."

The lopsided grin on his face makes your stomach churn in a bad way. Before you can get a word out to come up with some excuse, a glass of shot is being placed in front of him.

"Sir, your order," the bartender says and that seems to be the magic words as he seems to forget that he had an issue with you leaving him moments ago.

You ease up a little bit and don't miss the look the bartender is giving you. She seems to be telling you with her eyes that she will make sure that your date doesn't follow you.

The relief on your face is the only thing that serves as a mode of expressing your gratitude as you quickly flee the spot. Not knowing any place better, you actually do find yourself in the washroom. What if you were to stand outside the club and somehow he catches up with you? In the washroom, at least there will be other girls.

You take your phone out and hesitate for a brief moment. Would it be the right thing to do to ask your best friend, Jisoo, to come and pick you up? You could take a cab but with the sudden turn of events, you feel scared to be alone.

Pushing your hesitance aside you shoot her a text, knowing she would be very mad if she were to learn you didn't text her when in need.

You: can you please come and pick me up?

Jis 🥵: sure can

Jis 🥵: but is everything alright?

You chew on your lower lip and decide this is no time to go into details.

You: I'll tell you once I reach home

Jis 🥵: sure

Jis 🥵: i can see your location

Jis 🥵: I'll be there in fifteen

You sigh in relief when you read the text. You wait for exactly twelve minutes before stepping out of the washroom, getting a little impatient to get out of the club.

However, the moment you step out, you're met with a figure that you recognise immediately. Jungkook. And by the looks of it, he looks agitated about something as he looks at his phone screen.

You're no fool to think that Jungkook being here is a mere coincidence and walk towards him. The sound of your heels catches his attention and he looks up, finally noticing you.

"Why are my calls not reaching you?" He asks, looking absolutely pissed. Any other time, you'd have felt extremely satisfied at that but you fail to feel any of that right now.

To address his question, his calls are not reaching you because you have him blocked. Why?

Before answering the why, you should probably get into how you and Jungkook know each other.

You see Jisoo has a boyfriend, Taehyung. And Taehyung, bless his sweet soul, has an absolute devil of a best friend, Jungkook.

You never imagined that you'd ever have this much animosity with your best friend's boyfriend's best friend. But for some reason unknown, you and Jungkook just simply do not get along. You both are involved in constant bickering, pulling pranks and throwing insults at each other.

Which leads to the why, you have Jungkook blocked. Last time, he posted an advertisement on his social media saying there's a need for someone who can do a good Minnie Mouse impression and put your phone number at the bottom of it. For several days people kept calling you asking if they can give you their demo. Some didn't even bother asking, they thought saying hello in the Minnie Mouse voice would earn them brownie points. It made you so incredibly furious that out of sheer pettiness, you blocked Jungkook.

"Why are you here?" You ask instead of answering his initial question.

"What? I'm your prince charming for tonight," Jungkook smirks, his previous agitation melting away and it immediately irks you. "I heard you needed a ride and so here I am."

Your eyes follow his and you immediately shake your head when you realise he's asking you to get on his bike. Jungkook and his bike go hand in hand, so much so that you hadn't paid attention to it when you first saw him. However, now you feel incredibly stupid for not realising any sooner that his bike is supposed to be your ride for the night.

"No, no, no, I'm not getting on that," you shake your head vehemently.

Jungkook raises a brow. "You have no other choice, sweetheart."

"I'll book a cab," you grumble, knowing very well that you are not quite fond of that idea.

"I'm already here. Just get on the bike Y/N."

You don't reply for a few moments before sighing when you realise how your argument is incredibly stupid. "Fine."

Jungkook grins and gets on the bike. He starts the engine and motions you to take your seat. You hesitate for a moment but then get behind him. He hands you a helmet before putting one on himself.

You wait for him to start the bike but you are confused when Jungkook doesn't do so. "What are you waiting for?"

"For you to wrap your arms around me," just by the tone of his voice, you can tell he's enjoying this thoroughly.

You scoff. "Why would I ever do that?"

Your question is answered when he revs the engine and the force of it makes you stumble forward. Involuntarily, your arms wrap around his torso as you cling to him for dear life.

"There's my good girl," Jungkook comments with a cheeky grin on his face and takes off.

With how fast he's going, you find yourself feeling scared and hold on to him tighter. His hard back presses against your chest and you rest your chin on his right shoulder, soon finding the position comfortable and despising it at the same time. You both spend the entire journey to your place in this manner and in absolute silence.

You're surprised at how quickly you reach your destination. It's like his motorbike flies. Untangling yourself from Jungkook, you get off the bike. You remove the helmet and throw it at him, not wanting to spend another moment in his presence.

But before you can walk inside your home, he grabs your hand. "Woah, woah, woah. Do I not get a thank you?"

"Fuck off, asshole," you roll your eyes and free yourself from his grip. You're aware that if you were to ask anyone they'd tell you, you are the one who's being an asshole but you and Jungkook simply do not share the kind of dynamic, where one thanks the other. If it were Jungkook in your place, he'd probably say something cheeky or call you names. He'd do everything but not say thank you.

You take the key out of your purse and are about to unlock your door, when you're swiftly turned around in the blink of an eye and the next thing you know, you are caged between your front door and Jungkook.

"What do you want, Jungkook?"

The corner of his lips lift up. "A simple thank you."

You smile too, the only difference being yours is sarcastic. "Thank you so much Jungkook for coming to pick me up because Jisoo asked you to."

"She didn't ask me to," he replies, immediately, shaking his head. The action causes a few of his curls to fall on his face and with him being this close to you, you let your mind drift to how easy it would be for you to just gently remove those strands out his face. However, you control yourself, getting annoyed with the whole situation.

"Of course, she didn't ask you to! You came because you wanted to really help me." Your words are so sweet that they drip venom.

Jungkook observes you closely, before curiosity gets the best of him. "Why do you hate me so much?"

You're caught off guard by his question. The hate between you and Jungkook has always been mutual and reciprocated. None of you have ever questioned it. Hating each other is what feels right, what feels natural. You never imagined that any of you would ever question it.

"Well…you know," you stutter, finding yourself at a loss of words.

"No, I don't," he challenges. "Tell me Y/N, what have I done for you to hate me so much?"

"Y-you know, y-you know you are not a good guy," the words sound lame to even your own ears but that's the best you come up with.

"That's it, huh?"

You roll your eyes and look away from him, not wanting to make it obvious that you do not have a proper answer to give. However, Jungkook grabs your chin and makes you look at him.

He leans in incredibly close and you feel his breath on your skin. It makes you wonder what he's doing, it makes you wonder if he's going to kiss you and it makes you wonder why you aren't moving away from him. Your breathing speeds up and your chest heaves to give testimony to that. Your eyes drop to his lips and for the first time you find the previously annoying mole under them, cute. Just when you think he's about to close the distance he goes straight to your ears.

"I think you want me to be the bad guy," he whispers. "Because you know I'd be too good to you."

He nips at your earlobe before backing away, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

"What are you doing?" You may not have been kissed but you sound just as breathless as one gets after a heavy session of kissing.

"Good night princess," he winks at you before getting on his bike. "Have sweet dreams."

What just happened?

#jungkook x reader #Jungkook smut #Jungkook angst #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook au #Enemies to lovers #Biker Jungkook #Jungkook fic #Jungkook FF #BTS fic #Jungkook scenarios #BTS scenarios #BTS FF #Fic: fine line

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viviennevermillion · 6 months

Text

when they know you like them

⟡ notes: first time writing for record of ragnarok yayy! guys if you haven't seen this show you should watch it, we have tournament arc, pretty men and sad backstories. comments are appreciated.

⟡ contains: character x gn!reader, how they act when they know you like them but you haven't told them, varying lengths because i am inherently biased

⟡ characters: buddha, beelzebub, hades, nikola

⟡ warnings: all of these are fluff except for beel's which is full of soul-crushing angst i am sorry

He's such a tease and you can't even be mad at him because unlike Loki or Hermes he's genuinely sweet about it. He overheard Brunhilde talking about how you like him and he decided to have some fun with it first before he confesses.

You meet him by the tree he likes to relax under before his fight and he's happy to see you. "Hi fam! What a pleasant surprise!", he exclaims and waves at you when he sees you walking towards him from a distance, "to what do I owe the honor?"

When you tell him you just wanted to wish him luck before his battle, he grins and pats your head repeatedly before resorting to poking your cheek. "That's sweet of you, bud", he sits down under the tree again and pats the patch of grass by his side, gesturing for you to join him; an offer which you gladly accept.

"I know you don't like being told what to do", you start and let out a sigh, "but don't you die on me out there..."

He lets out a hearty laugh.

"I'll accept it this once, because it's you", he chuckles and leans closer, whispering in your ear with a tone of voice that sounds like it's laced with honey, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're worried about dear old me..."

You stay silent in response to this, which just seems to amuse him more. "You know…best not to lose yourself in worry and fear, it does not do you any good", he warns with a challenging tone, cupping your cheek gently to inspect the emotion that's showing on your face, "getting too attached can often be our demise..."

"I'm good, thank you", you reply dryly, not giving in to his teasing. You reach into your bag to pull out some candy you brought along. "Offer for my favorite god", you state nonchalantly and hand it to him. "So I'm your favorite, huh?", he chuckles, booping your nose, "that's interesting."

He eats some of the candy and remarks that it's tasty before his attention shifts to you again. "I found meditation can help with worries like yours", he explains but can't hide the smile that's tucking at the corner of his lips, as he's fully aware how easily your focus shifts when he's around, "I can show you some techniques if you'd like."

So he spends the next 10 minutes instructing you on meditation and you're trying, but at this point you're suspecting that with the way he keeps whispering instructions into your ear and leans close to you or holds your hand, he's setting you up to fail. "I'm starting this on heightened difficulty", you mumble dryly and he chuckles again. He's clearly having a blast with this.

He's leaning so close to you that you can feel his breath on your lips and he's like "do you feel enlightened yet?"

You open your eyes to glare at him. "You're the bane of my existence."

He forms two peace signs with his hands and sends you an innocent smile. "That's when I'm at my cutest!"

Before he leaves for his fight he gently pulls you into his arms. "Don't worry too much, buddy, I'll be fine", he has his arms wrapped around your shoulders in a comforting embrace. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, relaxing into the warmth of his chest. "I'll see you after the fight, pinky promise", he smiles and gently squeezes you before making his way to the arena.

When you join him again after the battle he's finishing up that bag of candy you gave to him. "I heard you bailed from the infirmary", you let out a sigh and sit down next to him in the grass. "Are you here to drag me back?", he sends you a questioning gaze. You shake your head. "I know better than to try that."

He lets out a satisfied hum and you hug him. "I'm glad you're okay", you whisper and he looks at you with a fond expression, way softer than what you're used to from him. "I told you not to worry too much", he keeps an arm wrapped around you and leans closer to you again until your lips are almost touching, "I think you need more meditation." He grins and plops a candy into his mouth.

You look at him through half-lidded eyes and sigh. "You know what- fuck this shit, next time I'll just bring pocky."

He lets out a laugh and presses a sweet kiss to your cheek. "That's one way to do it."

One word: Panic

He meets you after his round because you're one of the people who tend to his wounds. You're so sweet to him; you have no idea, not the faintest clue about the curse he is afflicted by.

He's darkness incarnate, at least in his mind; only ever leaving his secluded quarters these days to fight; like in the tournament. To fight, never to protect. His hands weren't made for protection; his heart wasn't made to be loved. But who can really help the things they long for in this life?

Meanwhile, you're like a ray of the sun that mistakenly fell into the depths of hell from which he crawled. He had been shunned; detested for what he was, yet you didn't seem to notice. He thought it was stupid. Or perhaps these were his defenses talking.

Or maybe you knew exactly who he was and simply chose to pay it no mind. Also stupid.

He acted cold around you in the infirmary. Brushed you off with quick responses. Yet you always smiled at him with this carefree, kind expression on your face. Just the way his friends had done once upon a time. Images flashed his mind of their dead bodies and the horror of what he had done. He didn't mean to, he knew he was cursed, yet he hated himself; hated that he was host to the monster that lived within him.

He left the infirmary early that day. Best not to spend too much time around people who were nice to him. It might just get them killed, he thought with bitterness clouding his mind.

But you weren't convinced when he had told you that he was fine upon leaving. So to make sure you didn't release him in bad condition, you sent him a letter, asking him how he was faring. To be honest, you didn't expect that he would actually respond, considering how closed off he was when he met you. But Beelzebub was a lonely man. Terribly lonely and suffering in silence without an ounce of company, just waiting for the day someone or something would be able to put an end to his existence. But that was a dream that felt far out of his reach. So he settled for the next best thing: easing the pain.

So for the next few weeks, the two of you changed letters and every time he opened up a little, you felt joyful and loved that you were getting to know him better.

When you ask him out one day, Beel's heart freezes. This was all too familiar... attachment. Something he couldn't allow himself to have. Something that would bring destruction upon the innocent.

He clutched the letter tightly in his hand, crumpling the paper in the process as he paced back and forth through his room, trying to calm his breathing; trying to make the thought of Lilith's dead body leave his mind. He couldn't allow anything to happen to you. He was a monster and you didn't deserve to become the next tragedy in his life. For weeks now since you had started exchanging letters he put extra locks on his doors at night; some of them with numbers only he knew; he'd freeze the keys and hide them throughout his room in the hopes that he would wake up before the monster could escape the confines it was in.

After receiving the letter where you had confessed that you had taken a liking to him and would like to go out with him; he woke up on the following morning with his room in shambles. Some of the furniture was torn apart, papers were scattered across the floor and the door showed signs of abuse and violence; large scratch marks and some broken locks.

He sent you a letter inquiring about your well-being this time. The wait for your response was spent in agony.

When he finally received a letter back; being informed that you weren't anywhere near his room that night, that you were safe and sound; relief washed over him.

But that was the last letter he ever sent. He deemed it too dangerous to keep you around. You deserved to live and to thrive. Nothing that should be cut short because of his selfish desire for companionship.

As the months went by, the letters got less and less. Until finally you stopped sending them. That was the first time he had cried since Lilith's death. The first time he had slumped down on the floor and sobbed helplessly. His room became silent again. He was alone once more with nothing but the shadow of what could have been.

The only one who is actually normal about the whole thing.

Hades is a gentleman and he doesn't have enough humor in his heart to tease you like some of his fellow gods would.

Once he has a hunch that you have feelings for him; he prepares to ask you out.

He's very classy with it. He buys you a bouquet of roses and brings them to you, greeting you with a soft smile that few actually get to see on his face. He appears confident and casual; the only sign of nervousness being that he keeps fidgeting with the collar of his shirt without noticing.

Of course you immediately notice the bouquet. But you don't bring it up until he does. "Hades! Good to see you", you greet him and give him a smile. He smiles back at you. "Y/n, I- was wondering if you'd like to have dinner sometime?", he stumbles over his words one time but overall delivers the question very professionally.

You're a little caught off-guard. After all; Hades is not someone where you notice he has feelings for you unless he decides to let you know. "Oh...", you take a moment to process, "I'd love to!"

Hades is glad to hear that answer. Whatever was he worried about anyway?

He takes you to a nice restaurant on your date, both of you dressed up in fine clothes and Hades can't keep his eyes off you. His expression softens every time he looks at you and he finally realizes how much you make him weak in the knees.

Despite everything, he keeps his confident demeanor, offering to pay for your meal and making conversation with you during the date so the atmosphere never turns awkward.

It's mostly him complaining about his job really.

"And it's not even like they don't know that trying to feed the Cerberus is forbidden; it's very clearly stated in the 'Welcome to Helheim' leaflet and yet every month someone loses an arm to that thing-", he pauses in his rant to look up at you, "I'm sorry if you don't want to hear about my work."

You shake your head. "It's fine, I think it's quite interesting", you reach for his hand and hold it on the table, "hold on- there's a leaflet?"

Hades chuckles and pulls said leaflet out of his pocket, handing it to you. "Rule Nr. 2: 'You cannot actually climb out of Helheim. Seriously, stop trying'", you read aloud and raise your eyebrows, "I feel like there's a story behind that one." Hades gives you a painful expression. "I wish there wasn't."

Hades likes holding your hand on the dinner table and he always makes sure that you have a comfortable and fun evening

Despite his calm and serious demeanor, the man is absolutely whipped for you, so the more chaotic you are, the more likely it is that he'll end up joining you in shenanigans that are unlike anything he'd do if you weren't a part of his life.

Loki once catches him dancing in the rain with you, absolutely drenched from the water and Hades just sends him a death glare. "Not a word." Meanwhile Loki is just trying to keep his wheezing in.

If he feels like you're up for it, Hades asks if he can kiss you after the date. For a man so stoic and serious, his kiss is very gentle.

You never have to worry about Hades knowing how you feel about him because your feelings are in good hands with him.

Is probably having a whole crisis about this.

He doesn't even notice you like him, he just sees you as "y/n, who listens to me talk about science" and that's what he appreciates you for. He has such tunnel vision when it comes to his work that he doesn't even stop to consider how he feels about you until Raiden of all people brings it up.

He's like "Wow you're so lucky that someone like y/n has their eyes on you!" and Nikola stops in his tracks like excuse me what-

"Don't tell me you didn't notice... they're down bad for you?!"

The shared human contestants lobby was a mistake, Nikola thinks

Other people have to spell out all the obvious signs to him that show that you're romantically interested in him for Nikola to "subscribe to the hypothesis"

That's when the panic starts.

"Like, what do I even do, I've never been on a date before!"

Raiden raises an eyebrow: "Seriously? Never?"

Nikola corrects himself as he paces from one side of the room to the other. "Well technically I have been on ONE date before but it was a disaster because I accidentally caused the misconception that I'm trying to build a nuclear bomb, which i wasn't-"

Basically, Nikola has no fucking idea how to approach romance

He ends up sending his pigeon to deliver a letter to you, asking you out on a date, which he describes as "a fun day full of scientific experiments" and he's ecstatic when your answer is yes.

"Don't worry, this'll be fine, I even got them a gift", Nikola says, excited about your date.

The "gift" turned out to be a giant laser he built specifically for you. He was confident in it at first but ever since people kept telling him that usually flowers or chocolate are appropriate first date gifts, he's been nervous. To everyone's surprise, you end up absolutely loving it.

"Oh my god I've always wanted a giant laser!"

"See? That's what I said too", Nikola gives you a fist-bump.

Nevermind you're going to fit together just fine.

Your date mostly consists of him guiding you through various science experiments and rambling about the scientific principles behind them.

"I understood nothing of what it was you just said but I think it's endearing how passionate you are about this", you chuckle.

His last experiment is one where he turns the lights in the room off and uses several lenses and light sources to make beautiful lights in all colors dance across the walls and the ceiling of the room. You're in awe about the beautiful sight.

"You see, this happens because the light reflects off the-" he can't finish his sentence because he's caught off-guard by the kiss you press to his cheek. You then lean your head on his shoulder. "Let's just watch them for a while", you whisper and reach for his hand. He supposes he can continue explaining later and smiles at you softly.

#shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok #ror #snv #buddha x reader #beelzebub x reader #hades x reader #nikola tesla x reader #ror buddha #ror beelzebub #ror hades #ror nikola tesla #snv buddha #snv x reader #ror x reader #snv loki #snv hades #snv nikola tesla

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nocreativityfornames · 1 year

Text

Mammon: Oi, does anyone know what the hell's goin' on with Lord Diavolo?

Lucifer: *raises an eyebrow* What do you mean? What happened?

Mammon: He just praised me! And like, in the weirdest way possible!

Levi: Wait, you too?

Mammon: *shock* He did the same with ya?!

Levi: Yeah, he gave me a pat on the back and told me he was proud of me for coming to RAD today.

Asmo: What?!

Beel: Oh, he did something similar to me and Belphie too. He said that he appreciated how passionate I was about Fangol and that he-

Belphie: Thought I looked adorable in my sleep...

Everyone: *speechless*

Belphie: *narrows his eyes* It was awful, and I hated every second of it.

Beel: *chuckles* Well, I thought it was quite nice.

Lucifer: I-

Satan: Well, that's certainly all very...strange.

Mammon, what did he say to you?

Mammon: Told me I was "good at scammin' and gettin' caught". It made me feel more offended than anything!

Levi: loooool

Asmo: I can't believe it!! How did Mammon get praised and I didn't?!

Mammon: Hey!!

Lucifer: Asmo, that's not the point-

Barbatos: *chuckles*

Lucifer: *turns to Barb* Barbatos, do you happen to know anything about this...?

Barbatos: Ah yes. *smiles* Well... the Young Master saw a video this morning about the importance of showing appreciation for others and making them feel loved. I assume it made him want to go out praising everyone.

Satan: *cringes* Oh... I'll make sure to keep my distance from him for the remaining day then...

Asmo: Wha, don't say that...! Why wouldn't want to get praised by Lord Diavolo?!

Satan: WHY WOULD I WANT TO GET PRAISED BY LORD DIAVOLO?!

Lucifer: *shakes his head and sighs*

meanwhile somewhere else at RAD:

Diavolo: Ah, MC, I must thank you for helping me with these boxes, you're a very good-

*freezes, struggling to find a gender neutral term*

MC: ...?

Diavolo: *sweating* You're a very good...

MC: 🤨

Diavolo: *laughs nervously* A very good... h-human...?

MC: 😶

Diavolo: 😅

MC: 😶

Diavolo: 😅

MC: Please don't ever say that again.

Diavolo: I won't. 🥲

#attempt at praising: FAIL #obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me post #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me luke #silliness overload ⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+#☙ no creativity for names ✾#1k+

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wandaslamb · 5 months

Text

Cabin In the Woods

Parings: Dark!Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ Non-con, Knife play, cutting, blood (just a little bit), pet names (bunny, baby doll, sweetheart, angel), body betrayal, fingering, cunnilingus, hair pulling, daddy kink, chasing, obsessive, stalking, pervy nat, if I'm missing things let me know :)

a/n: hi!!! this is my very first fic, and I really would appreciate it if you left some type of feedback :))) I was really nervous to post this, considering I haven't written a fic in years, but I got bored one day, and here it is!! I hope you guys enjoy it, and maybe I'll turn this fic into an actual AU

Word count: 4.5k

After your long semester and treacherous finals and projects you had to finish, you decided that you wanted to go to an Air BNB to relax and take time off from the real world. You always liked the woods; it was calming, and you and your parents always went on camping trips when you were younger. Getting older, you found escaping to the woods after a long, hard time and reconnecting with nature was very rehabilitating. So, seeing this offer, you decided to pack your bags and go out for a week.

There was a slight knock on the door. You assumed it might have been Wanda, the lady who let you stay in her lovely cabin. "Hello? Anyone home?" The knocking continued till you got up and answered the door.

"Oh..thank god someone answered!" A woman who didn't look like Wanda from the pictures in the cabin stood there. She wore a simple tank top with ripped jeans and black boots to finish the look. She had deep red hair that was messily tied up in a bun. She looked like she had a backpack with a camera around her neck; she must have been a hiker.

"A-are you okay? It's pretty late out.. are you hurt?" Seeing someone out this late was very strange. When you would go out, it was close to sundown, but you always made it back in time before the sun fully set.

The woman let out a nervous laugh, "I'm fine, I'm not hurt or anything, but um," she trailed off, clutching her camera in her hands.".. Fuck this is so embarrassing..but I'm uh, pretty lost.." her voice trailed off before she decided to muster up the courage to look at you.

"Listen, I know... I know. I was trying to get some pictures of the area, and the lookout points weren't doing them justice, so I kind of.. Went off the trail. I mean, I did get a few good photos in the process!" she let out a deep sigh, catching the concerned look on your face." sorry, Besides the point. Can you possibly point me in the right direction of the trail?"

"Well...I haven't been here for a while, but I can help you." You peeked your head outside past her and recollected your memory of the path you would take when you went on your walks before speaking again.

"got it.. Back up the hill, stay to the right of the river.." She smirked, "And there isn't any chance of you walking back with me?" You didn't know the lady, but the kindness in you wanted to go with her to make sure she got back safe, but how would you get back in the dark?

"I'm kidding! Of course not... It's getting dark for a young girl like you to be out this late anyways.." she grabbed onto the straps of her backpack, sighing, "Well... Thank you! I'm sorry for barging into your peaceful weekend; maybe I'll see you and whoever you are here with hiking tomorrow?" You gave a shy nod and told the woman goodnight before closing the door and going to bed.

The next day, you spent the whole morning and afternoon cooking breakfast and sitting by the river writing in your journal. Since the river was so close to your cabin, you decided it would be nice to hang out there before returning. The weather was nice; some birds were chirping in the distance, the water was calm, and there weren't many people around.

The sun started to set, so you decided it was time for your walk. It was pretty late; the sun had almost entirely set, but you figured no one would be around, and you wouldn't travel far from the cabin; you went on your journey. The woods at night were more serene; the stars you never get to see because of the city lights lit up your path along with the moon; the woodland creatures were more than likely asleep at night, so the bunnies, deer, and birds you saw while you were at the river were long gone.

It wasn't before long you heard a crack deep in the forest that made you jump, assuming you were alone. "Oh, it's you!" you heard a familiar voice say before turning towards it. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to sneak up on you... I mean, it's not hard to spook someone when they are hiking at night." the woman let out a deep laugh before you glared at her for scaring you.

"Well, I was going on my daily walk... I lost track of time and…what are you doing out here??" You folded your arms, waiting for her reply. "What am I doing out here? More photography..now that I know my way back, I won't get lost if I decide to go out and take some shots of the moon or... Other things.." she leaned against the tree before smiling again, "So, did you get any of your friends to come hiking with you?" You started to look down, but her laugh and deeper voice took you out of your thoughts.

"Oh… don't tell me you came to that cabin alone... What is a young girl like you doing by herself in a cabin in the woods?"

"I just wanted to take some time off after my semester in school; I assumed no one comes out here, so-" The woman stood up straight; it wasn't until now that you noticed that she was a lot taller and more muscular-looking than you. She had defined muscles along with her shirt, showing off her toned abs.

"Oh, you are a lot braver than me; I mean, your not worried something happened to you while you were out here; I get it it's pretty remote out here... But Shit can happen, right?"

"Yea… I guess you are right; I just assumed because, on the listing, the lady said people don't come around the area as much, so it would be quiet and peaceful… "You brushed off that she was standing slightly close to you, and you backed away a bit. "Anyways, where's your camera? I'd love to see some of your pictures if you don't mind.." giving her a soft, warm smile, you leaned against the tree.

"Oh, it's here! I know it doesn't look like much. But I've gotten some really.. Really good photos so far. It takes great close-up shots...We could go back to your cabin and get you out of the dark, and I can show them to you. Only if you want.." she licked her lips before leaning over you against the tree.

"I didn't say this earlier, but you are very pretty. I mean, I could take your pictures too if you want.." The woman's deep voice rattled through your head, and the prominent shyness started to creep up on your face because of how close you were. "Come on! Why do you look so nervous all of a sudden? I mean, you know I've taken photos of you already... what's a few more?"

"You…what?" Your smile quickly turned into a frown, and hearing her laugh only made you feel worse, "It's not like you can stop me, pretty girl.." there was darkness in her eyes that made your body feel cold. You tried too hard to get from her, proving extremely hard because she trapped you between her and the tree. But you managed to get out of the way and make a run for it.

"You know you only make it worse if you run!!" You paid her no mind instead, running as far as you could. You couldn't run to your cabin because she knew exactly where it was. Maybe the service road could be some help?

You heard heavy footsteps come after you, but you were determined to get out of the woods. Your breath was ragged, and your running started to slow down; you assumed that you would be more fit to run long distances, but your daily pilates proved you wrong.

It wasn't long until your arm got pulled, and your body got pressed against the ground. "You can only run so far, bunny.." her breath beating down your neck as you tried to catch yours.

"Haha... I got you~ awe, bunny, look at those pretty wide eyes, you struggling to catch your breath. I told you there was no use to running; you should have listened to me, darling." she moved a piece of hair behind your ear, now straddling your back, "What really was the plan here? You came out to stay at a cabin alone, you answered the door for a stranger and went out a night completely defenseless. If I didn't know any better, it was like you wanted someone to." She stopped and laughed. She saw the tears roll down your face onto the forest floor.

"Well... I don't want to spoil the surprise I have planned for you…" she smiled, taking her thumb and wiping your falling tears before she ran that same thumb across her tongue, letting out a guttural moan.

You just knew you were dead; you watched way too many true crime videos to see what happens to people who are in your situation. You felt her start to bite and kiss the side of your neck, starting to leave a bruise on it, making you whimper in the process.

"Was that a whimper? What a sweet little bunny..! Do it again.." she returned to a different spot, moaning on your neck, marking you as hers. "I feel you shaking, sweetheart, don't be scared... I'm going to make you feel good.." You started to kick at her, trying to free yourself yet again.

"Hey.. hey... I can hold you down with one hand and choke you with the other. Do you want me to fuck your pathetic little body on the ground like the little slut you are," she growled in your ear, sending shivers down your body, "or are you going to come back to the cabin with me, like a good little bunny?" she nipped at your ear earning a small yelp from you, "ill.. Come back w-with you please.." you managed to squeak out.

"Good girl, now come on.." she slowly got off you, still holding onto your arms. "I don't think I need to tell you; what would happen if you try to run again, do I?" You started to get a bit antsy, tears spilling down your face before you heard a flick of a knife that was swiftly held up to your throat.

"Ah ah ah... Now you are all quiet, aren't you?.. I'm astonished you seemed like a very smart girl; you fell for the lost little hiker act... Such a gullible little bunny.." she chuckled before pushing you to walk. Not before long, you both showed up to the cabin. The knife is still at your neck. Your arms locked tightly in her other hand.

"Open the door.." your shaky hands unlocked the door, letting you inside. She led you both to a couch in the middle of the room before she sat on it, grabbing your hair and pulling you towards her, making you cry out. "You have such pretty soft hair, bunny.." she let go of it, grabbing your chin and pulling you in for a kiss, instantly dominating your mouth.

She bit your lip, making you whimper in her lap, making her pull away, now sadistically smiling at you. "Mmm, you like it when I bite your lip, hm? I felt that shiver, sweet girl.. "she let out a deep breath "fuck, I couldn't help myself after seeing you hiking from that lookout point. Your gorgeous ass and thighs in those leggings, your cute little face when you got tried...I got myself off before I got up to where I was. I snapped photo after photo of you while you played in the river and when you went out to journal in your pajamas every morning. But I knew pictures weren't enough, no... I had to have you. I had to be the one that makes you tired, to make you whimper and moan for me. I need to see you... All of you, bunny. Let's get you out of these, hm?" you felt the coldness of her sharp knife press against you, cutting your shirt off along with your sports bra.

She moaned when she saw your breasts pop out of your bra before dropping the knife and taking them in her hands, teasing you, smiling when you started trembling in her lap.

"I know you are excited, darling... I am, too.." she ran her palms up your stomach before wrapping them around your neck.

"N-no, please.." she tilted her head before frowning at you, "No? Did you just say no.. to me?" her voice became monotone. She looked like she wasn't happy.

"Look at me." you didn't. You were too busy in your mind, assuming the worst was about to happen to you until you felt a sharp sting across your cheek. "I said. Look. At. Me." she gritted through her teeth. "You're going to listen to me, bunny? I'm going to get these leggings off, then you're going to go up to that bedroom of yours and lay back on your bed... Do you understand me?" you looked down at the knife in her hand that was dangerously close to your chest. "Look at me. Look at me in the eyes, not the knife, baby.." your eyes slowly met hers. "Good girl.."

Tears started to pool up again, making her give you a fake pout, "Baby doll, you do not have to cry.. I'm going to make you feel so good. And you're going to make me feel good, too.." you started to sniffle and chose not to say anything else.

"Now, we are going to walk... And you're going to feel this knife pressed against your throat. If you do anything stupid, you will be sliced open..is that clear?" you nodded, whimpering.

"Say yes, Daddy.." you heard the smile in her voice when she said that.

"Y-yes, Daddy.." she let out a satisfied hum, "there we go.." You both made your way up to the bedroom, lying on the bed as you were told. "Just like that... Good little bunny!!" smiled, pulling out her camera, "Let me just... capture this moment.." she started taking pictures of you pouting when you began to cry again. "Baby, don't cry! I need you to smile! Let's see that pretty smile, okay?"

After a few more pictures, she removed her bag, set the camera on the nightstand, and walked over to you. "Hmm, can you do one last thing for me, bunny?.. Give me your wrist." she took your wrist, chaining them to the bed.

"You can pull off them now, but it won't matter.." she giggled.

"W-why..?"

She chuckled, "Aren't you the curious bunny.." she smiled, getting close to your face. "Because baby, I'm going to fuck you so good you aren't going to want to go anywhere..not... That'd let you anyway. Now.. open your mouth."

You looked at her, opening your mouth before she squeezed your face, making you stick your tongue out before spitting on it. "Aht aht.. Don't swallow it, doll. Keep your tongue out nice and pretty for me.." she started to take off her clothes, and you watched as she did, seeing all the scratches you had left from trying to fight back. "seems like you put up a small fight.." she climbed over you, giving you a complete view of her glistening pussy. Seeing how wet she was from this whole interaction didn't even compare to how much you were dripping on the bed. But you were scared shitless. Your body felt otherwise.

She lowered herself on your face, grabbing your hair and making you moan against her. "Come on, sweetheart, you're going to eat Daddy out, okay? Clean up the mess you've made of me." you absentmindedly started to lap at her clit, earning her deep moans and her pulling your hair even more.

"Mm yea.. Use your pretty little tongue... Fuck.." her head was thrown back, her toned stomach was all you could see. You, too, caught up in her sounds, and she tasted didn't even notice when she reached back and started rubbing your puffy little cunt through your panties with her fingers making you moan against her, sending vibrations thorough out her body.

"Mm, don't stop licking, keep fucking going. Holy Shit… being such an obedient little slut.." she gasped when she felt your wetness seep through your panties. "Such a dirty little girl turned on by getting used like the whore you are. Letting a fucking stranger use your mouth to get off." her breathing got ragged as you got faster and more sloppy with your licks and sucks, making her cum all over your face.

"Ah ha.. don't you look pretty angel.. Covered in my cum and your drool…I need another picture.." she grabbed the camera off the nightstand again, snapping some pictures.

"You want to taste yourself, doll?" she moved her fingers up to your mouth, plunging them down your throat, making you gag a bit. "Taste good, doesn't it? I have to get a taste for myself later, but since you've been a good bunny for me, it's time for your reward.

You thought it was your chance to do something. You started squirming, and it made her a tiny bit upset. "Do you think squirming is going to do anything? You can't get away from me… did you forget I have a knife? I don't want to use it on you, but I will if you keep struggling. You're such a pretty girl... My pretty girl and I would hate to mess you up... Let me cut this underwear off, and then I'll put the knife up…" She flicked it open again, causing you to buck your hips as she got close to cutting them off, making her knick your thigh in the process. "See..this happens when you don't listen to daddy.."

"No- no, please... Stop, please!" your tears started to come back; she shushed you, licking the blood off the knife before straddling your waist. "You can say no all you want, bunny, but it's happening no matter what.." she cut them off, exposing you to the cold air of the cabin, your scent making her moan.

"Look at you, bunny.. you're dripping down to your ass," she ran her softly up your slit before licking it clean, letting out a satisfied moan. You jerked your hips at her noises, making her giggle. "Oh.. you jerked pretty hard there... Does it feel good? I've barely even touched you.."

She got off your waist, looking down over you, "If I were to just... push my fingers into you now, they would slide in so easily. But I'll be nice... Just circle warm you up a bit."

"No! Stop it, please.." you cried out. Your voice was almost gone, and you watched as she rolled her eyes.

"Here we go again with the no… you're being so stubborn. I think it would just be better for the both of us if I just.." she took your now ripped panties and shoved them into your mouth.

"Shut. You. Up. There.." she had a satisfied smile on her face. "Oh, don't look so terrified... It wasn't like you were going to wear those panties again anyway... Now where was I… right." she smiled, continuing to circle your clit, moaning before sticking two fingers in you and making you scream.

"Aww, look at you taking two fingers like a good girl; you usually can only fit one in. You brought that new toy with you on your trip but couldn't even fit that. And look at you now, being a big girl, taking two of my fingers so easily." She really has been watching you this whole time. You were sure you closed the curtains... Maybe she had heard you mumbling to yourself about it...

The room was full of sounds from your aching cunt, her deep moans from seeing your pussy grip her fingers, and your cries of pain that soon turned into pleasures. She started to use her thumb to rub your clit.

"What if I was to add another finger..oh.. Was that a moan, bunny?" she bit her lip before laughing, "Let me hear it again.." she started to move her thumb faster, making you arch your back before pushing down on your stomach and fingering you harder.

"Oh, I think you're getting closer for me, baby; we can stop, though, for a second.." she pulled her fingers out of you, making you whimper and clinch around nothing, missing her fingers being inside of you. She started to laugh, seeing your face begin to tear up again.

"Look at you... It's pathetic! First telling me no and now wanting me to finish you off... You're so adorable, bunny.." she went in her bag and got something to put on. When she came back, she had a strap without the toy. She started to look at your bags before taking the brand-new toy you brought and attaching it to it. "It's so cute that you picked out this one... This might be a little too big for you, don't you think?" she was right; you had picked out a toy that was way too big for you. You ultimately chose it because of its appearance; it was a clear and pink silicone toy with little hearts in it. You didn't read the size when you ordered it and ordered a 9-inch.

"Don't worry, bunny, ill make it fit.." she lined herself up with your entrance rubbing the tip up and down your slick-covered cunt. "You make me so fucking wet bunny... The way you took my pussy in your mouth like a good slut. You were such a good girl, making me feel so good. But now it's my turn to make you feel even better." she slowly pushed herself in, making you moan out, her holding your hips still as you took almost half the cock in you.

"Mm, look at that.. God, I wish you could see how good your cunt looks stretched around this toy.." She started to rub your clit again, pushing more and more into you before you felt her bottom out into you. "That's a good girl!! See, I knew you could do it.." she started slowly but started to pound you when she felt you loosen up a little bit. Your back was arched as she held your hips, mumbling dirty names in your ear as she fucked you senseless.

"Doesn't it feel good, bunny?" your face was puffy from all the tears you were letting out as she started to kiss them away. She mumbled into your neck, "I know, I know… it's so hard to go slow when you're making cute noises like these. I want you to scream for me... But there is always tomorrow for that angel; you are all mine. I don't have to rush; you didn't think this was the last time we'd do this, did you?" your heart sank as tears rose in your eyes.

You whimpered about how the owner of the house would be looking for you, but nothing came out except muffled sounds in between her thrusts. She chuckled and looked down at you.

"Honey, no one is going to look for you. Your mine for the next few days... Maybe even longer. Fuck! You feel so fucking good. I don't think I'll ever let you go.." you were trying your best to stifle your moans, not trying to be loud to let her know you were slightly enjoying her movements. She stroked your face with her hand before cupping your face.

"It's so cute watching you try to be quiet; you can let go for me, bunny... No one is going to hear you. It's okay.." her breath was ragged again, and her thrust became sloppier.

"You're doing so good for me, sweetheart. Sweetheart, let me help you.." she reached into the side table drawer and pulled out a small vibrator, widening your eyes. 'How did she know that was there?' you thought. But you were completely snapped out of it before she unchained one of your hands and put the vibrator in your hand before guiding it to your clit.

"Oh fuck!! Your clinching so hard around my cock, bunny… I want you to come for me, doll.." she slapped your face, "aht aht I want to see your pretty little eyes, come on now look at me while you cum, come on be a good girl for me.." the tears pricked at your eyes, but they seemed only to egg her on.

"Mm, does it feel good, angel? Me pounding you with your toy while you have a little vibrator on your clit?" her moans got louder, and so did yours. It wasn't until she removed your hand with the vibrator from your clit you let out the most pornographic moan, squirting on her and the bed as she pulled out of you.

Your body was spazzing as she unchained you pulling you into her lap and holding you as you came down from your high. She reached over to grab a water bottle from her bag and gave it to you, making you drink it as she smiled down at you. There was a faint buzz from the other nightstand as you tried to catch your breath; the woman reached over to get what seemed to be your phone. She let out a small chuckle before moving the strand of hair out of your face and showing you your phone.

"Look, bunny, the owner said you don't have to worry about the payment... She said she'd be home shortly... Though I don't think the cameras did you justice, she'd want to see you for herself.." She sat the phone down before laying you back down on the bed.

"But let's get you cleaned up first. I want my wife to see how adorable you are when you aren't covered in sweat and cum.. Maybe you can show her the pictures when she comes. How does that sound?"

And with that, she went to run the bath. You weren't going anywhere anytime soon, not that your legs worked anyway. She carried you to the bathtub, settling you in before going downstairs. It wasn't until long before you heard the words, "Oh Nat, she's perfect... Our perfect bunny."

#Luna's fics⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆#Natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha fic #dom!nat #marvel #mcu #natsha romanoff x female reader #marvel fanfiction

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tojisbbg · 6 months

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𝘽𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚

❝close your eyes slowly and feel the wind, the bonfire is fading out.❞

♡ sukuna ryomen ♡

a/n: ugh, the sukuna brainrot after the new episodes are driving me insane.

reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3

content: sukuna ryomen x fem!reader, fluff, minor angst, hurt with comfort, lots of teasing (it's sukuna lol), not edited.

---

"hey! that's mine." you whined, watching the demon who sat next to you steal your last mochi.

"not anymore." sukuna smirked before shoving the ball of goodness in his mouth, humming in content.

"stupid demon." mumbling under your breath, you sent a glare towards his way. sukuna stopped chewing, narrowing his eyes at you.

"you got a problem, human?" he snickered.

"yeah, stop eating my damn food and go find some humans to munch on. i know that you don't even like the taste of human food, you do it to piss me off." you rolled your eyes, earning a mocking chuckle from him.

"i'll munch on you." sukuna threatened emptily, making you snort.

"yeah okay." you murmured to yourself, watching over the distance from the cliff both you and the king of curses sat upon. it was close to sunset and the warm summer breeze blew past your hair.

"what's wrong with you?" he scowled, making your head turn to face him with furrowed eyebrows.

"the hell do you mean?" you scoffed, making sukuna stand up as his tall figure towered over yours. however, you remained unfazed, staring back into his gaze.

"you've been acting like someone shoved a stick up your ass ever since we've got here. it seems like you've forgotten your place, human." sukuna spoke in a low tone, making chills run down your spine.

"forgotten my place? i've served you for a thousand years and this is the thanks i get? how absurd." you sarcastically replied, a fake smile plastered on your lips. the king of curses eyed you without amusement, clearly not enjoying your sudden change in behavior.

"do you know how stupid you sound? why should i be thanking a pathetically mere human like you? you should be grateful that i've spared your life. you should be kissing the ground that i walk on for even considering you to be worthy of my time." he harshly responded, making your heart crack as every word of his felt like a knife stabbing you in the chest.

you knew that his lips never once touched honey, his words were always crude and cold to the ear. however, after spending nearly ten centuries with him as a companion, you grew used to his snarky remarks.

though others feared him, you saw him as a friend.

"i never asked you to spare me. what stopped you from killing me, huh?" you boldly spat out, and within seconds you were lifted off of the ground. a yelp left your mouth as sukuna lifted you by the collar.

"nothing's stopped me from kill you, perhaps the fact that you've fascinated me with your unhinged personality. however, it seems that my generosity has no meaning to you. i could kill you in a matter of seconds." he smirked, the tattoos on his face glowing under the sunlight as he pressed on of his sharp talons against your neck.

"then do it. kill me, sukuna." you blurted out nonchalantly, catching him off guard. his eyes widened at your words, before narrowing them.

"oh? accepting defeat already? this isn't like you, y/n. since you've obediently served me for many centuries, i'll give you a change to beg me to spare your life and apologize. i think that's fair, no?" an evil grin danced on his lips, grazing his sharp talon against your flesh, which drew a drop of blood.

"beg? and by what means should i beg someone like you to spare my life? in my eyes, you're nothing but a sack of shit. i didn't beg a thousand years ago nor will i beg now. stop being a coward and kill me, you stupid curse!" you yelled at him, making his face fume with anger as he raised you up to his eye-level.

"what did you say to me?! keeping you alive for those many centuries was the biggest mistake that i have ever made! you wanna die that bad? fine, i'll kill you with my own hands." sukuna's voice echoed throughout the forest, before he dug his talons a little deeper on your neck. you closed your eyes, wincing a little in pain as you waited for your end to come.

however, after a few seconds, you no longer felt any pressure on your flesh. you opened one eye only to see his face full of hesitation. sukuna noticed your stare and let out a heavy sigh.

"i don't know what's gotten into you today but sleep it off. i'm being nice only this time, but i'll actually kill you next time if you pull this type of shit again." he warned you, placing you back on the grass before walking away to place some distance between you two.

"what? don't have the balls to kill me? fine, i'll make your life easier." you gave him a sly smirk, watching him turn his back to look at you.

"what?" sukuna sneered.

and without warning, you ran towards the edge of the cliff before jumping off. you felt your heart drop, as you didn't do well with heights.

sukuna ran after you while screaming your name, not expecting you to actually jump. he quickly jumped off the cliff, trying to reach you as fast as possible before your stupid human body collided with the cold water below.

the curse knew about your fear of heights and large bodies of water, since you couldn't swim. but, to his dismay, you already came crashing down in the water.

sukuna panicked, quickly diving as he swam in search of your body. he saw your hand in the distance and quickly grabbed it, pulling you towards his body before hugging you tight as swimming up to the surface. he leapt back up on the cliff with your sopping wet body that was now cold to his touch.

sukuna placed you down on the grass as he watched your body being non-responsive.

"y/n? y/n! fuck, wake up." his breath hitched as he tried to use his cursed technique to help you recover but your pulse was as weak as ever.

"stupid, stupid, stupid brat! why did you do that?" he cursed under his breath, now being swallowed in a massive hole of regret. you regained your consciousness, your ears picking up his deep voice wallowing.

"ryo...?" you weakly asked, making his head shoot up at the nickname you always teasingly called him by.

"y/n!" sukuna breathed out in relief, picking up your body in his arms to hug you tight. the warmth of his large figure engulfed your body and you couldn't help but silently cry as he shoved his face in the crook of your neck.

"why would you do that, you stupid human? i-i.... god, you're so stupid!" his voice was shaky, his hold on you was as if he was scared that you'd run away if he were to let go.

"you could always replace someone like me." you sniffled, eyes welled with tears that made your vision blurry. you didn't see the puzzled expression that was now drawn on his face.

"i could never." sukuna swore.

"the girl from the market. you seemed to take a liking for her. she even complimented your markings." you swallowed the lump that formed in your throat, sad eyes looking into his.

"is this what all this about? some incompetent, foolish girl? i'll kill her at once if that is what you want." he sternly said, stroking your hair as you cried on his chest.

"did you really mean what you said? that i was a mistake to have around?" you nervously asked, chewing on your bottom lip.

you've never once regretted spending those centuries with the king of curses. every day was a new adventure that you both took on. you are confident that no spot on this earth has been left untouched by you two. sukuna has always shown you kindness in his own cursed way. whether that was letting you to tend the garden by his room, which allowed only his entry. or letting you speak to him however you wished to and call him that stupidly yet fond nickname; ryo.

no one has ever addressed him by that name.

you've accepted him for the monster that he was. he showed you his true form, which many found horrific and hideous. a wooden like mask that covered half of his face, four eyes, four arms and a huge height.

yet, you were not afraid and didn't see him any different. you gave him your annoying hugs, poked him while he napped, ate from his plate and in return he protected you. sukuna made sure to shade your stupidly tiny human body with his large figure, caging you in his four arms.

you always had what you wanted.

"i never meant a single word, y/n. you are not a mistake and i'll rip out my own tongue to show you how sincere and sorry i am." he looked at you with apologetic eyes, his hands moving towards his mouth. you quickly halted his actions, shaking your head.

"it's okay, i trust you." you offered a soft smile.

"don't ever scare me like that again, you hear me? i chose you as my companion to spend the rest of eternity with. you're my soulmate, you can't escape me. if death ever comes upon either of us, we'll meet each other in hell." sukuna gently stroked your cheek, wiping away your warm tears. the words coming out of his mouth would sound insane to any sane person, but to you, they meant even more than 'i love you'.

"you know, no matter how many times i kill myself, i won't die. you cursed me with immortality, so i can only die by your hands." you chuckled, making his eyes widen as realization hit him.

"do you... do you really wish to die? i know that not everyone enjoys living for so long and i kinda did force this upon you. if you want, i can lift the curse and you'll.... you know, almost immediately." sukuna gulped harshly, not being able to even say the words of your death.

you cupped his face before pressing a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. you could feel his cheeks becoming warm, as he leaned into your touch.

"i've never once regretted spending those thousands of years with you, ryo. i have never been happier and you know why? it's because i love you. god, i love you so much, and i'd happily spend a thousand more years with you." your eyes glistened with nothing but pure love and adoration for the curse in front of you.

and for the first time in your life and sukuna's life, his eyes became glossy as if it held a thousand oceans. feeling a little insecure about revealing such raw emotion to you, sukuna buried his face in your neck.

"and i love you. so, don't ever leave me, okay? you stupid human." his voice was muffled into your clothes, but it rang clear in your ears as you laughed.

"look at me, ryo." you requested, and he obliged. you traced the lines of ink on his face before giving him a soft smile. without wasting another second, you crashed your lips onto his. the sudden kiss knocked the wind out of his lungs, but it wouldn't take for the king of curses to melt into the taste of your lips.

you gently ran your fingers through his peach colored hair, feeling his fingers rub slowly at your sides while you both kissed. you felt him smile against your lips, pulling away only to press another tender kiss.

"i'll make you my queen, y/n. you're mine, forever and always."

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scoonsalicious · 2 months

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Unwanted: Chapter 13, Uncomfortable - Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, the last straw, arguing, violence, Sexually Explicit Content Minors: GTFO; I don’t serve your kind here (angry/rough PIV, fingering, degradation kink), memories of past CSA, self harm, Bucky really, really fucks up.

Word Count: 4k

Previously On...: Tony sent you a very expensive apology gift.

A/N: Ya’ll are getting this early! Just one thing to say:

I am so, so sorry.

Coincidentally, this is getting posted on the day I'll be coming home from NoLa, so I'll arrive just in time to hear you all say how much you now hate me. Yay. -_-

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @sashaisready @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @doublejeon @pattiemac1

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, lost in the dark colors, the reflection of the moonlight over the water. The sound of the door opening broke through your thoughts, and you turned to see Bucky shuffle into the room.

“Hey, sweets,” he said, toeing off his boots.

“Hey,” you said without emotion, turning your face back to the painting.

“Whacha lookin’ at?” he asked, coming to sit next to you on the couch.

“Apology gift from Tony.”

“What’s he apologizing to you for?” God, you couldn’t even muster up the energy to be angry at him.

“Calling out your unhealthy obsession with Jade in front of the team,” you said, voice flat.

“I do not have an unhealthy obsession with Vix,” Bucky said, annoyance coloring his words. “How many times do I have to tell you there’s nothing going on between the two of us before you start believing me.”

“Maybe you should stop telling me there’s nothing and start actually acting like there’s nothing,” you said as you stood up. “Because honestly, I’m tired of hearing your empty words.” You began to walk away, but Bucky reached out and grabbed your arm.

“They aren’t empty, Pocket!” he said. His voice wasn’t loud, but it filled the room as if he’d shouted. “It fucking hurts like hell to hear you say that.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” You couldn’t help the sarcasm that oozed from your voice now. “Your feelings are hurt now, so that changes everything. Let me put aside the pain I’ve been dealing with for months to reassure you.” You yanked your hand free from his grasp. “I’m exhausted, Bucky. Nothing is getting better. In fact, things are getting worse, and I keep pretending that I can be okay with things, but you just keep picking her over me, time and time again. I don’t deserve that. Not from someone who’s supposed to love me.”

“Pick her over you? That’s fucking bullshit and you know it,” he said, voice rising.

“Is it?” you asked him. You pointed to the corner where your overnight bags sat waiting for a trip you’d never take. “Is that bullshit, Bucky? Cause we were supposed to be in the Catskills right now, but because that fucking cunt came crying for you, you went running to her and left me sitting here, alone and forgotten. Again.”

“Pocket,” Bucky ran a hand over the back of his neck, a sure sign you were ruffling him. “She needed someone to support her. She’s not like you– she doesn’t–”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Barnes!” you interrupted, shouting now. “I’m trying to tell you that I’m breaking up with you because of her and you still just stand there and defend her!”

Bucky’s face paled and his eyes went wide. “No,” he said, his voice barely audible.

“What?” You weren’t sure you heard him.

“I said ‘no,’” he said, his voice louder, but still soft. “You're not breakin' up with me. Doll, please. I need you. You said you were gonna fight for us, fight for me. That’s what you said!”

“I’m so tired of fighting for you when you’re off fighting for her! I can’t do this anymore, Bucky,” you practically sobbed. “You are fucking destroying me and feel like you just. don’t. care. I can’t just sit here and let it keep happening. You say you need me, but you’ve made it clear time and time again that you don’t give a shit about what I need. Every time I’ve asked you to put a boundary between you and Carthage, you’ve stomped right over it. And I can’t keep living like this. Yesterday was supposed to be a celebration of one of the greatest accomplishments of my career, and she ruined it.”

“It wasn’t her fault she got bad intel!” Bucky shouted.

“Could you just FUCKING STOP?!” you screamed. “Stop defending her! She either royally fucked up or she set them up on purpose! Those are the only two options! Either way, the entire thing was her fault. Rhodey is unconscious– almost died– because of her! She’s got you so wrapped around her fucking finger that you can’t even see it, and I am SO. GOD. DAMNED. OVER. IT! You promised me you’d make it up to me,” you continued shouting at him. “You fucking promised! But as soon as she bats her lashes, your promises don’t mean shit! You keep making excuses, you keep saying you’re sorry, but you keep doing the same fucking thing over and over again, and the only thing your actions are promising is that she means more to you than I do!”

“That’s not true!” he shouted back at you. “You mean more to me than anything!”

“I don’t fucking believe you!” you screamed, your voice going hoarse.

“I’ll fucking prove it to you!” He grabbed your elbows and pulled you to him, kissing you with such force it would have knocked you over if he hadn’t been holding you up. The moment he broke the kiss for air, you slapped him across the face. Only to immediately kiss him again.

Within seconds, you were ripping at each other’s clothes, desperate to feel one another, skin to skin, your tongues battling against each other as though whomever could dominate the kiss could win your fight. Bucky literally tore your shirt in half before you pushed him down onto your bed. Crawling on top of him, you scratched your nails down his chest, hard enough to draw blood.

Bucky hissed into your mouth, reaching down to yank off his pants and boxer briefs. You hastily pulled them down and off his legs before climbing back up to his mouth. Your kisses were passionate, angry and feral, each of you trying to prove a point to the other.

You felt both of Bucky’s hands grasp the waistband of your jeans and rip them open, sending the button and zipper teeth flying. “Those were my favorite fucking jeans,” you warned.

“I’ll buy you another pair,” he growled, shoving a hand into your panties and finding your clit. You arched your back as he pinched and rolled it between his fingers, the aggression in his movements igniting your blood. You gasped as he shoved two fingers into you while simultaneously flipping you so you were now on your back and he loomed above you.

He pulled his hand from you, leaving you aching and empty. He kissed you as he divested you of what was left of your jeans and your panties. “Taste yourself,” he said, shoving his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them, savoring the tang of your essence on his skin. Bucky groaned at the sight before pulling his fingers out and kissing you again.

“You’re mine,” he growled, grabbing at your breasts and roughly kneading the flesh. “Look at me, Pocket. You’re mine.” You turned your head away, not wanting to meet his eyes, but Bucky would have none of it. Gripping your chin tight enough to leave a bruise, he yanked your head back so you were looking him in the eye. “I said, you’re mine.” He entered you then, the force of it nearly splitting you in half. “You’re mine and I’m fucking yours. Forever.”

He pounded into you as if his very life depended on it, and you clutched at his shoulders for dear life. “God, yes, Bucky,” you cried, all your resolve finally leaving you as the pleasure rose within you. “I’m yours, and you’re mine. Only mine. Only fucking mine!”

With a roar, Bucky picked up one of your legs and draped it over his shoulder, the new angle allowing him to hit you deeper as he drove into you. His thrusts were punishing, as though he were trying to see just how deep he could get himself inside of you before you actually broke in two.

"You like that?" he murmured as he rutted his hips into you.

"Fuck, yes, please, Bucky-- just like that," you moaned. He had you close. So, so close. "Keep going."

"Yeah, I thought so, you dirty slut," he grunted.

"What?" you asked, pulling your head back into the pillow so you could stare at him, wide-eyed as he continued to pound relentlessly into you. His words had taken you aback-- this was not something your loving boyfriend had ever said to you before. You dropped one leg from around his waist and tried to pull the other from his shoulder.

"Knew you loved taking my cock. God, you're such a filthy whore for me."

"Bucky, stop." You pushed gently against his chest, but he was already so far gone to his lust that he didn't seem to hear you.

"Such a good fucktoy for me," he grunted, his pace quickening as he neared his release. You felt your breath coming hard and fast now, but not from your impending climax, which had died with his words, but from an oncoming anxiety attack. “You goin’ dumb on me already, like a good little cockslut?”

Flashes of your miserable childhood flickered through your head, the way Darren would call you his "good little money-making whore" after you'd been raped by yet another of his clients, or when he decided to violate you himself, calling you his own personal slut, his special fuck toy.

"Bucky," you shouted, punching him with your fists, desperate now to get him off you, out of you. "Stop! Get off of me! GET OFF OF ME!" You screamed, thrashing at him. You saw the moment your words registered-- his eyes lost their haze of lust and his hips stopped pumping into you.

"Doll?" he asked, looking down on you in confusion. "What's wr--"

"Get off me, get off me, get off me!" you shrieked as you rolled out from under him, your entire body suddenly on fire with shame and disgust. The second your feet hit your bedroom floor, you were reaching for your silk robe, wrapping yourself in it as though the thin fabric could protect you from his words. From him.

"Pocket," Bucky watched your movements, his eyes betraying his bewilderment at your actions. "What's going on? What did I do?"

"Why would you call me that?" you asked, your words coming out in between your desperate gasps for air. "Why would you say those things?"

Bucky sat up, reaching for you, but you moved away from him. "Baby, what things? What did I s--" Realization dawned on him then, and his entire face fell. "Shit. Oh, God. Oh, Pocket. Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I didn't think--"

"Why would you say that, Bucky?" you asked, fighting back the tears that so desperately wanted to break free. "You've never called me a-a-..." you couldn't even get the word out. "How could you do that?"

"Fuck, Baby..." Bucky began, running his hands through his hair in response to your distress, "I never... I thought you'd like it. I should have realized, after Darren..."

"Don't say his name!" You hadn't meant to shout at him, but you were damned if you were going to invite the ghost of your tormentor into the sanctuary of your room. "Please," you cried, "don't say his name."

Bucky got up and tried to wrap his arms around you, but you pulled away, feeling too vile, too dirty, to even let him touch you.

"Sweetheart, please," he began, reaching for you again, "you're shaking. Let me hold you." You shook your head as you moved away from him yet again, trying to steady yourself.

"Where did that even come from, Bucky? Why would you think... What would even make you think that was something I would want?"

Bucky's hand went to rub the back of his neck as he looked up at you from behind his lashes. "I... I heard girls... like that sort of thing. That it turns them on."

"You can't just start it out of nowhere," you cried, "It's something you need to agree on first! You can't just say it without making sure your partner's okay with it! And I can't believe you'd ever think I would be okay with it! God, who even told you that?" You couldn't imagine any of Bucky's friends saying something like that to him; hell, Steve would have a coronary before even suggesting it. Did he read about it in some degrading kink group online?

"I was talking to Vix, and she said--"

"You what?" you spun to face him, your words sharp in your shock.

"Vixen. Jade. I was talking to her during training one time and she said girls like it when guys talk to them like that during sex. Well, she said she likes it. Said it, uh, turns her on."

Your entire body froze as if you'd been doused with ice water. "You were talking to Jade Carthage about sex and what gets her off." Your voice was hard and clipped. It wasn't even a question, just a statement that made your stomach twist, but you had to make sure you had understood him correctly.

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad," Bucky hemmed, "but sweets, I swear, it wasn't like that."

You called for FRIDAY to turn up the lights, no longer wanting to be trapped in the intimacy of the semi-darkness with him.

"It wasn't like that? Then please enlighten me, Bucky, what was it like? Jesus, how did you two even stumble into that conversation in the first place?"

"Baby," Bucky looked frantic as he grabbed his boxer briefs from the floor and tugged them back on, "I don't even remember how we got on the subject. We were sparring and I pinned her and--"

"You had a conversation about sex while you were lying on fucking top of her?" You could barely contain your rage; you were seething, about to vibrate out of your skin with revulsion.

"Honey, it's not that big of a deal, really."

"Not that big of a deal?" you asked, knowing you were about to tread into some very dangerous territory, but needing him to understand you. "So, it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I let Steve get on top of me and had him tell me what gets him hard? What makes him come?"

Bucky's jaw tightened immediately at the mention of Steve. "Don't," he growled. "Do not bring him into this. It's completely different."

"It's not, Bucky! It's a thousand times worse! God," you threw your arms above your head as you began to pace in front of your bed. "I can't tell if you're actually this naive or if you think I'm fucking stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid, Pocket," Bucky's voice was quieter now, more restrained. "I... God, I just messed up. I'm an idiot. I didn't think it through and..." He trailed off and slumped onto the edge of the bed, his hands pushed into his hair as he stared down at the floor.

You could see his muscles craving to pull you back into his arms, but he resisted. His eyes flickered to you before darting away again, like looking at you caused him physical pain.

"Do you want to sleep with her? Were you imagining her while you were fucking me?" It was a reckless question to ask--a question that you didn’t want the answer to--but it slipped out before you could stop it.

Bucky's head whipped up, his eyes wide with shock as he stared at you. "What? No!" He stood abruptly, hands outstretched towards you. "Baby, no! God, no! I would never... I can't even believe you'd think... Don't even talk like that."

"But you took her kinks, her turn ons, and you brought them into our bed. You spoke words you knew another woman-- a woman you know I fucking loathe-- wanted to hear, you... you used them on me, knowing my history, and you didn't give a shit about what saying them might do to me!" Your voice was trembling with accusation, your body shaking with tremors of hurt and betrayal.

"No! No, sweetheart... it wasn't like that." He kept repeating himself, his words rushed, his face pale with shock and regret. "I didn't mean to disrespect you like that. I heard her say it and I thought... I mean, she's a woman too, right? So, if she liked it, I thought maybe you..." He trailed off, his expression one of sheer desperation as he tried to find the right words.

"But I'm not her. It wasn’t about pleasing me; it was about using what pleases her." You shook your head harshly, a lump forming in your throat. "You don't even see how wrong that is. And you shouldn't even have been having the conversation with her in the fucking first place!"

"What can I do?" Bucky pleaded, his voice a strained whisper as he raked his fingers through his hair again. His face was etched with pain, regret seeping from every pore of him. "How can I fix this? Tell me how to make it right."

But you were too overcome by anger and heartbreak to think straight. You moved further away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to shield your heart from further damage.

“What did you tell her?” you asked, but Bucky looked at you with confusion etched across his face. “You said it was a conversation. I’m assuming she didn’t do all the talking. What did you talk about? Did you tell her what gets you off? What you like? Were you sharing intimate details about our sex life with a complete outsider? Did you tell her about your ‘sergeant’ kink?”

He didn’t need to speak for you to read the truth in the expression on his face.

The silence hung in the room, heavy and oppressive, as Bucky fought for words. A nerve twitched in his jaw, the only movement in his otherwise frozen face. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he finally spoke.

"I... Yes, I did," he admitted, his voice a mere whisper. "I didn't think it through. I didn't mean to... I just..."

His voice trailed off again and he sunk back onto the bed, looking completely defeated. His hands covered his face as if he were desperate to hide himself from your accusing gaze.

“Get out.” You couldn’t even stand to look at him. This was a betrayal beyond anything you’d ever have expected from him.

Bucky’s head snapped up at your words, his eyes wide with shock. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He just sat there on the edge of the bed, staring at you as though he was seeing you for the first time.

"Get out," you repeated, each word a dagger. "I can't... I can't stand to even look at you right now."

Still, Bucky didn’t move. He just sat there in stunned silence, his face pale and his eyes filled with regret.

"I said get out!" Your voice was shrill, filling the room with a chilling echo that seemed to reverberate through every fiber of your being.

Bucky flinched at your tone, and finally roused himself to his feet. He looked at you one last time, his steel-blue eyes so full of pain that it made your heart ache despite everything. For a moment, it seemed like he might say something else, like he might try to explain, but you’d had enough of his ‘explanations’ for the evening. Hell, maybe for the rest of your life.

Bucky swallowed hard, his eyes filling with a mixture of fear and dread as he nodded slowly. "Okay... yeah," he stammered. "I'll give you some space."

“No. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done, Bucky. This… this is unforgivable. We’re finished.”

"Doll," he breathed, the pet name he had given you sounding like a prayer on his lips, but a curse to your ears. "I love you... I'm sorry. I messed up, I know. But I love you."

“I don’t believe you.” You felt like your heart was being ripped apart as you watched him standing there, consumed by remorse. You had never seen him like this before, his usual charismatic confidence replaced with fearful uncertainty.

“Just go,” you whispered, turning away so you wouldn't have to see the pain in his eyes. You felt a sob rising in your throat, but you held it back, refusing to let it out while he was still there.

With every inch of him screaming resistance, Bucky walked over to the door and hesitated at the threshold. "I'll... I'll do anything to make this right, sweetheart," he promised, his voice choked with emotion. "I'll fix this... We can fix this."

But you remained silent, your back still turned to him as you tried desperately to keep your tears at bay. The sound of the door opening and closing behind him was deafening in its finality.

You wrapped your arms around yourself tighter, suddenly feeling cold. The room was suddenly too big, too empty without Bucky's reassuring presence. You sunk onto the bed, burying your head in your hands as the events of the night washed over you with overwhelming force as you began to sob in earnest.

You weren't even sure what you were angriest about. He’d broken yet another promise and left you waiting, your romantic getaway forgotten so he could be by her side. He'd called you a slut and a whore. He’d discussed your sex life with Jade-- the one woman you hated above all others, and openly discussed her kinks with her, and his own desires in return. He'd forced her kinks on you without your consent.

And then there was the worst part of it all, the bit that made you feel sick and hollow: he'd failed to see what he'd done wrong.

You had thought Bucky knew you better, that he respected you more than this. You'd shared secrets and fears with him, things you'd never shared with anyone else, not even Tony. He knew your past, knew how much trust meant to you - knew how difficult it had been for you to open your vulnerabilities up to something more than just casual sex - and yet he'd violated that trust in such a profound way.

This was just beyond anything else that had come before it. You couldn’t see a way to move forward after this.

Numbly, you began to strip off the sheets from the bed, your hands shaking as you balled them up and threw them into a corner of the room. You couldn't sleep on them now, nor ever again. You couldn't bear the thought of lying down where he'd... where he'd...

Tears started to spill down your cheeks as the reality of what had happened set in. You tried to blink them away, tried to swallow down the lump in your throat. But it was too late. Tears blinded you as you moved through your space on muscle memory alone, grabbing a garbage bag from under the sink in the kitchenette and shoving the offending sheets into it to dispose of later. Boiling them in chlorine wouldn't be able to relieve them of the taint they now carried.

Once the offending sheets were securely bagged and out of sight, you stumbled your way into the bathroom. Turning the shower on as hot as it would go, you stripped from your robe and stepped under the scalding stream from the waterfall shower head.

Hissing as the water hit your body, you let yourself succumb to your emotions. You reached for your loofah and began scrubbing at your skin, doing everything in your power to wash away the intense feeling of shame that had permeated deep under your dermis. You scrubbed until your skin was red, until it was raw and cracked and bleeding, but it offered you no relief.

The sensations were familiar, the burning heat, the stinging of newly torn flesh. It had been so long since you had felt the need to ritually cleanse yourself like this, you had desperately hoped you'd finally found yourself beyond the need to do so, but just a few words from Bucky's mouth had sent you reeling backwards, back to being that worthless, vile, used up girl that no number of college degrees, fancy company titles, or board-approved computer programs could fully erase. It was in your DNA, and you couldn't escape it. You scrubbed and scrubbed until time had lost meaning.

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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deathshallbethelastenemy · 8 months

Text

something's made your eyes go cold (6)

TEEN!gojo x FEM!reader but mostly TEEN!geto x FEM!reader (platonic) - soulmate AU

TW⚠️: geto suguru defects soooo be warned, reader is not a sorcerer, geto is beyond mean, angst/hurt, gojo does not show up at the end, friends to enemies, mentions of sex, and loss of virginity off screen (from gojoxreader)

a/n: special chapter for my fav criminal💜 this is not proofread!!!!!

something's gone terribly wrong

Geto Suguru appreciated Satoru's soulmate, besides him, his best friend would have another constant in his life. Someone else who would care for him unconditionally, and just like Suguru vowed to protect Satoru - he vowed to protect her. He was strong after all, and the strong must protect the weak.

When Satoru wasn't there, it was Suguru who would keep her safe from curses; curses that reared their ugly heads when Satoru wasn't around. They were far more daring when she was alone, even if Suguru was with her. He was nowhere near as fearsome as his best friend, but he handled the curses just fine without him.

Let the curses underestimate him, it made them easier to deal with, easier to keep her safe from harm.

If Gojo Satoru was on a mission and Suguru was still in the city, then he would routinely check up on her - Satoru couldn't warp at long distances yet, so if anything happened to her, he would not make it in time, so Suguru took it upon himself to be her protector. She needed it and Satoru needed her, and Suguru cared for them both deeply.

Sept. 19, 2006

' ' it's getting dark and it's all so quiet ' '

A curse tried to latch itself onto her when Satoru was cities away on mission, Suguru exorcised it expertly, with her back turned to him without even realizing she was ever in danger.

A soft smile graced his lips, "Everything alright?"

She jumped at his gentle voice, not realizing he was behind her, "Ah, Geto," she returned his gentle smile, "I didn't see you there. I'm alright, you?"

"I'm doing fine," Suguru looked up at the cloudy sky, "Come on, it looks like it's gonna rain. I'll walk you home."

The walk was full of light and awkward chit chat, despite Suguru's best efforts to be friendly. He supposed he shouldn't be too surprised, they had only met a couple of times; he supposed it would take time for her to warm up to him, at least she wasn't given him the cold shoulder like had been to Satoru. Suguru never put in a good word in for his best friend, he had said awful things about her - Satoru deserved her silent treatment.

Suguru wasn't too worried about it though. They were soulmates and while he didn't understand it, he had always admired it. He was even proud of Satoru for discarding his old and stupid opinions of her and actually putting in work to try and win her over.

"Thank you, Geto," She awkwardly waved goodbye to him when they arrived outside her family's bakery.

Suguru only smiled, "No problem."

He turned to leave and scrunched his nose up the gray sky. He was going to get caught in the rain for sure.

Oh well, "See ya."

Suguru's phone buzzed in his pockets:

Gojo.S: thank you :)

The shops bell chimed, and then, chimes again, and she yelled for him.

Suguru tilted his towards her, half-shocked, she had never called out to him before, but there she was with her hands outstretched towards him - a clear plastic umbrella and a styrofoam to go box.

Suguru gingerly took them from her hands, "Thank you."

Her cheeks were slightly pink when their hands brushed, "It's the least I could do. Thank you again for walking me home."

With that, he left with the protection of the umbrella from the rain and hot pastry warming up his hand.

His phone buzzed again:

Gojo.S: no way, she likes you more than me, right???

Gojo.S: I'll fight you >:( don't think that I won't

Suguru chuckled and rolled his eyes.

Geto.S: guess that means she has better taste than I thought

A flurry of rushed texts blew up his phone - worth it.

Nov. 28, 2006

' ' i thought i had you figured out ' '

A text had woken him up in the morning. Suguru was expecting it to be Satoru, sending him photos of his lastest mission away from Tokyo, but no, it was ______.

____._: sorry to bother you so early in the morning, but do you know what sweets are satoru's favorites and his favorite flavored cake???

____._: he never says he just eats anything sweet

That certainly sounded like Satoru.

Suguru yawned as he typed out:

Geto.S: He's a glutton

Geto.S: I'm sure anything will be fine but he does prefer kikufuku as for the cake - angel cake seems to be the best option

He rubbed his eyes and slid his phone closed, he needed to change into his uniform - wait... no, he needed to shower first.

His phone buzzed in his night stand. He gave it a quick look over, before he ridded himself of his clothes and hopped in the shower:

____._: thank you!!!! I owe you big time :D

____._: you like soba right?? My treat!

Suguru was glad, she felt like she could rely on him. He wanted to be relied on, if she relied on him, the easier it was to keep her safe from anything that tried to grab her in the darkness.

There had been too many close calls and it all reminded him of - No, she was not Riko. Suguru would not make the same mistakes.

When he got out of the shower and changed, he texted her back.

Geto.S: We can go shopping together

Geto.S: Are you free at 4:15?

Thirty minutes later she texted back:

____._: yep, where do you wanna meet?

Geto.S: I'll meet you at your school

Geto.S: We'll leave from there

____._: See you then :D

Suguru was right on time waiting outside of her school gates. He kept his eyes trained on curses energy residuals, and the curse dwelling on at the school - none of them were powerful, none of them posed a real threat to anyone.

Good, he could rest easy for now.

A bag slung around her shoulder, she enthusiastically waved at him as she ran up to him with a bright smile quirking her lips up, "Geto!"

Suguru's smile was as it always was soft, but this time he wasn't tip-toeing around her, afraid he would scare her away.

They were friends.

Of course, he kept things from her like the curses that tried to hurt her, but so did Satoru, but he supposed, Satoru didn't need to - nothing dared to touch her while he was around her. She couldn't even see them, so Suguru didn't feel the need to worry her about it, especially when he would protect her from it. She was already worried about Satoru as it was, no point in adding something else on to the list.

She chewed on her lip, "His mission isn't too dangerous is it?"

Suguru placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "No, he will be back in two days tops."

Still, she closed her eyes to check on him. He didn't blame her if he had felt Satoru die, he would check on him all the time.

She quickly blushed in embarrassment when she realized Suguru was watching, "I'm not a stalker -"

Suguru laughed.

Her cheeks burned into darker and brighter shade of red, "Don't laugh at me! I'm just -"

"Worried?" He chuckled out, "Come on, worry wart. If I remember correctly you owe me a soba."

Today, a curse user tried to sneak up behind her. To take her or kill her, Suguru didn't know. Not that it mattered, he pummeled him into a bloody pulp and called a window to take him back to jujutsu tech where he would wait trial by the higher ups.

Execution, no doubt. Suguru didn't care that's what the curse user gets for trying to pick on the weak, and on his best friend's soulmate no less. If anything, Suguru considered him lucky - it would've gone worse for him if Satoru had been the one to catch him. Forget about being beatened to a bloody pulp, imagine getting erased with a shot of hollow purple? Very lucky.

"Geto," she called out to him as she showed him a shirt, "what about this one?"

Suguru pocketed his bruised knuckles, "Yeah, he'll like that one."

She cheerfully skipped to the cash register and waited for the man to ring her up.

Suguru's eyes narrowed at the man, he seemed normal, but something was bothering him. Suguru was behind her in a few quick steps, his face seemingly expressionless when he took the bag from the clerks hand, before she could even raise her hand to grab it for herself.

The clerk waved them off as both teenagers said thank you, but Suguru lagged slightly behind her with his hand on the small of her back, keeping his senses trained on the clerk until they were at a safe distance, but then he saw a woman standing ominously a little ways away from them. A glance behind him and he saw the store clerk - shit. This was fine, nothing he couldn't handle, but his friend would no longer be blissfully ignorant about the dangers that were lurking around her.

"Yo!"

Suguru's shoulders visibly relaxed. The grip on her waist loosened as he waved at Gojo Satoru. The girl's smile widened into something more joyful as she wrapped her arms around Satoru's torso, pulling him into a warm hug.

Satoru rested his head on top of hers as he always did now and only kept one arm around her, but still hugged her close to his chest.

"You're back early," Suguru raised his fist and Satoru fist bumped him in greeting.

Satoru grinned, "It was easy peasy."

She peered her head up from his chest with the warmest smile, "So you're not hurt?"

"Nah," Satoru placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "nothing can touch me."

But Suguru was the flicker in his best friend's eyes, not much concern for himself, but for her, and Suguru knew why Satoru had come back early and why he had no doubt finished his mission as quickly as possible; Satoru had seen the store clerk for what he truly was through her eyes.

Suguru remembered the time, he had asked Satoru, if closing his eyes would leave him vulnerable. Satoru had smirked and smugly said:

"Nope, my six eyes work just fine. It just takes a little more focus."

Satoru's smugness was all Suguru needed to know that it took no effort at all to do what he does when he looks through her eyes, especially when he does it constantly.

Suguru casted his gaze back in front of him, the woman was gone and he could no longer sense the store clerk.

Of course, they were gone. One thing was fighting Geto Suguru, it was another fighting Gojo Satoru.

She tip-toed and kissed Satoru's cheek.

Suguru smirked, "I thought you two weren't dating?"

She turned pink, "We're not."

"Yet," Satoru added with a smug smile.

After they dropped her off home and Satoru begrudgingly let her go, (Suguru didn't know why he was pouting so much seeing as he was most likely going to see her tonight) Satoru pout widened into a grin.

"I have a plan."

Suguru let out a hearty laugh when he explained what his plan was - Operation: Love Quest.

Oh, he couldn't wait to tell Shoko.

Feb. 12, 2007

' ' i have known it all this time ' '

Valentine's Day was approaching and Suguru was now a victim of Satoru's incessant shopping sprees. Nothing was too much for his soulmate, he needed to get her everything.

Flowers (she liked pink peonies the most, Suguru learned recently), chocolates, sweets, dresses, jewelry, more sweets, and god knew what else.

"You've gotten her enough," Suguru yawned sleepily, "don't you think?"

Satoru was looking at a simple princess cut diamond ring, scratching his head.

Suguru playfully shoved him, "And it's a little too soon for an engagement ring."

Satoru tilted his head toward him with a frown and was slightly offended, "I would never get her a 0.10 carat diamond for an engagement ring," he grumbled, "It's far too small."

Suguru leaned against the glass counter, "I get this is your Valentine's with her, but you're over doing it just get her something you know she'll like."

"What type of girl doesn't like diamonds?"

"The type that'll feel bad when you get her a mountain of presents, when she only got you like three." Suguru said, "Not everyone has generational wealth to sustain them."

Satoru's pointed look softened as he smiled widely, "She got me three?"

Shit, Suguru wasn't supposed to tell him, "Yes, and I'm not telling you more."

"That must mean she really likes me, huh," Satoru's eyes glittered brighter than any precious stone in the store, "as the best boyfriend ever I have to at least get her twice as that."

"You already have." Suguru sighed, "Triple, I'd say."

Satoru ignored him, "Yo, sir! Sir! Sir!" He tapped the glass annoyingly, "That one!"

The jeweler smiled, "What size?"

"Shit, I don't know her ring size."

Satoru turned Suguru and before he could say anything, Suguru had slid his phone open and called her.

She answered at the second ring, "What's up?"

"You free right now?"

"Yeah."

Satoru started whispering, "Don't tell her to meet you here."

Suguru pushed his face away from his and gave her a meeting time.

The jeweler gave him a ring size measurer and with that Suguru left to meet her.

When she wasn't looking he would look at her fingers and take out the measure trying to gauge which size it was after careful deliberation, be concluded a size 5.

After an hour or so, she had to leave - something about an essay and homework she had to work on before Valentine's Day.

Suguru sent one of his curses with her to make sure she got home safe.

Satoru berated him when he got back, "What size?"

"Five," Suguru handed the measure back to the jeweler.

"That one," Satoru grinned out and then dragged Suguru to another shop.

It was going to be a long day of shopping again.

Apr. 4, 2007

' ' oh, holding my breath ' '

Shoko had stolen ______ for the day, claiming she needed a break from Satoru.

"You're beyond clingy," Shoko said, "Don't want her breaking up with you because you never gave her space right?"

Satoru's eyes widened, "Did she tell you that?"

Shoko being Shoko, said, "Maybe."

So there Satoru was fighting the urge to call or text his soulmate.

"Shoko was lying, right?" He asked Suguru, "Ain't no way, she wants to break up with me, right?"

Suguru drank his hot tea, "I'm sure she was just joking."

Or maybe she wasn't, but Suguru didn't want to tell Satoru what ______ had told him in private.

It wasn't that she didn't like him anymore, it was the incessant thoughts in her mind. Thoughts she couldn't push away any longer and as much as she cared for Satoru, he would never understand. Suguru would do though, he always understood.

She had been nervous at first, texting him to meet with him privately at a cafe without Satoru knowing, he was out on a mission anyway, he was focusing his six eyes on finding the curse, instead of closing his eyes to see where she was, but in the end, she faced up, after Suguru coaxed it out of her with soft smiles and a promise not to laugh.

"You have to promise again, not to laugh," She said.

He wanted to laugh now, but he knew she would shut down if he did, "I promised already."

"Again."

"Alright," pressed his lips together to keep himself from chuckling, "I promise, will you tell me now?"

She wondered a lot about how she should phrase it. Worthy? Good enough? Holding him back? Which word encapsulated what she felt when she saw a curse through Satoru's eyes, but could never see them on her own.

Worthless was the word she was looking for, she realized that a few weeks ago.

She bit the inside of her cheek, Suguru would for sure tell Satoru, if she started the conversation like this, so instead, she said, "It's not a problem, is it that I'm not a sorcerer," she played with the straw in her drink, "or that I can't see curses - I mean -"

Suguru stopped her before she could get in any farther, "Satoru was an idiot when he said that." Suguru smiled in the way that made everyone feel accepted, "He never meant any of that."

Yes, he did. At the time they both knew that he did, but she didn't say anything.

"Things are different now," Suguru scooted his chair closer to hers, "Satoru cares about you a lot, I know he does." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and rubbed soothing circles on her, "He'd throttle even me if it meant to keep you safe."

And Suguru was proud of him. His best friend was finally turning into the person he knew he could become - he was still annoying and arrogant, but he was no longer cruel and dismissive of others.

She let out a laugh, "I don't think he would go that far."

"I do," Suguru said firmly. "A lot of people can't see curses or jujutsu, it's not something to be ashamed of and Satoru has enough cursed energy and strength for the both of you."

She shook her head, "And when he's not here?" She looked at Suguru, "What then? I'm not stupid, you know, I may not be able to see curses, but I know whenever Satoru shows up randomly or when you show up to walk me all the way home - It's for a reason." She crossed her arms, "Shoko does it too, but she has a better poker face."

Suguru should've known that she knew. It had been months, it would've been odd if she hadn't noticed their overprotectiveness from even Shoko.

"You're our friend, ______," Suguru said, "we just want to make sure you're safe."

"I know. It's just -" She let out a long breath.

"Frustrating?"

She nodded, and then a bashful look, "Promise, you won't tell Satoru?"

Suguru smiled again, "I promise, but I do think you should talk about it with him." He drank some of his tea, "I'm sure he'll listen if it's coming from you."

But until then, Suguru was there to listen. Sometimes all someone needed was a friend.

Satoru's voice brought him back to the present, "She hasn't said anything to you right?"

Suguru rolled his eyes at him, "She's not going to break up with you."

"Did she tell you that?"

"Satoru," Suguru warned, "she's probably just stressed. Exams are coming up, aren't they?"

Satoru nodded, "Yeah..." He pulled out his phone from pocket and flipped it open as a smile graced his lips, "I'll help her study after she's done hanging out with that traitor that should relieve some of her stress."

Suguru doubted that would help since exams weren't what was plaguing her mind, but other more complicated things. If it got too far, he would tell Satoru. He might get punched in the face or a reversal Red shot at him, but it would be for the best.

Jul. 24, 2007

' ' something keeps me holding on to nothing ' '

Satoru had punched him in the face when Suguru told him. All this time Suguru knew why she was acting weird, he had known for months and he hadn't told him. It would've been different if she had told Shoko and Shoko didn't tell him, but Suguru? Suguru who was always supposed to have his back - it was betrayal.

Satoru put up two fingers and almost chanted: Curse Technique Reversal: Red, but stopped himself.

"Is she still talking to you about it?" He gritted out.

"No," Suguru rubbed his swollen cheek, "she wanted to tell you herself, but I think she's scared to bring it up."

Scared? Why would she be scared of bringing something like this up to Satoru? He was her boyfriend, her soulmate - she shouldn't have, had to feel scared to tell him anything. He would have listened, he promised to himself that night when he was all bloody that he would.

"I promised I wouldn't say anything," Suguru said, "but you two do need to talk about it."

Satoru ran his hand through his soft white hair and closed his eyes. He frowned when he saw her writing an essay down on a piece of paper - she was home.

Suguru spoke up again, "Do you want to hit me again?"

Satoru sighed and opened his eyes to look at his best friend, "No," he fixed his glasses, "just don't keep something that important from me again."

Satoru warped away, no doubt to talk to his soulmate. Suguru only hoped he had told him in time, before more damage could be done for his friends.

It was night when Yaga had knocked on Suguru's door.

"Where's Satoru?" Yaga gruffed out, "He hasn't been here all day."

Suguru always covered for him and he wasn't going to stop now, "He went for some sweets, you know how he gets."

Yaga shook his head, not believing a word that came out of Suguru's mouth, but he left anyway.

Suguru looked at his phone and thought about calling Satoru, but shook his head. He probably wasn't coming back til later, so Suguru fell asleep instead.

He woke up at noon with a grinning Satoru at the foot of his bed instead.

Suguru blinked as he assessed him, at least he didn't look heartbroken, instead overjoyed and a little smug. Satoru's snowy white hair was a mess as if someone had raked their hands through it roughly, his glasses were askew, and his lips were swollen and smudged with pink lip gloss smearing across cheek to his neck as his neck had deep red and purple marks that shaped into a heart, and his clothes looked a mess.

Suguru chuckled, "I take it things went well?"

"She said she loves me," Satoru squeaked out in glee.

Suguru pulled his long black hair back, "And?"

Satoru's grin had softened, yet it stayed plastered on his face, "I said I love her too."

Suguru pointed at hickeys that shaped into a heart, "That's all?"

"We had sex," then, Satoru playfully shook his head and sang lowly, "No, we made love."

Suguru almost vomited at that, "Go take a shower lover boy."

Satoru walked backwards as he skipped happily into his dorm room and yelled, "I am a lover boy!"

Sept. 2007

' ' come on, don't leave me like this ' '

She had just finished mopping the bakery's floor when Suguru came in, his long hair was down with only a small bun tying some of the more unruly parts of his hair.

She waved at him, "What's up, Geto?"

His smile wavered when he saw her like this was the first time he had seen her.

"Is something wrong, Geto?"

"Yes actually," Suguru frowned, "I want to talk to you."

She dropped the mop in the bucket and wiped her hands on her apron, "What is it? What happened?"

Maybe, she should text Satoru - No, he was there for her a couple of months ago, she should be here for him now.

"I think you were right before," Suguru pocketed his hands, "about it being a problem - you not being a sorcerer."

"What are you saying?"

Suguru ignored her, "I think you weren't saying the right words before," his eyes told and black, "instead of a problem, I think you meant a pest, a worthless one."

Her eyes widened, "Geto -"

Suguru's eyes hardened into a glare, "Don't interrupt me," he paused for a second like he was about to add something else, but stopped himself, before continuing, "all this time you were worrying that you were holding Satoru back, you were right."

Tears welled in her eyes, "I told you all of that in confidence." She flinched back when Suguru took a step toward her, "You're my friend."

"I was never really your friend," Suguru spat out, "I realized that I only ever really tolerated you for Satoru."

"Stop," she whispered putting her hands up as if she could stop his words from reaching her, "just stop it. Satoru and I talked about this already - he loves me."

She blinked her tears away. If this is how Suguru truly felt, then he wasn't allowed to see her vulnerable, only Satoru and people she trusted were allowed to.

Suguru stalked up to her, until she was backed up against a wall. She quickly flinched to the side when Suguru's hand shot up to the empty space behind her and for a second, she heard something squirming and writhing in his hand.

Suguru gave her one last cold look before purple blood splattered on the walls, "This is the last time I save you, ______."

' ' i can't turn back now, i'm haunted ' '

Gojo: You really hurt her feelings and she's been crying non-stop -

Geto: Womp-Womp

Gojo: Did you just FUCKING say womp-womp?!

@phoenix666stuff @96jnie @mr-underhills-things @whatamidoing @wbad-world @ancientimes @whippedbyikemen @sammyiguess (can't find you sorry) @pumpkindudeishere @witchofthecoffee @arminswifee (another one that cannot be tagged sorry) @weebotaku21 (another one I do not understand why) @nevermoresworld @jjk97091 (cannot tag you sorry) @toshirolovebot @marblesphere @sabo-has-my-heart @laurenzitaa

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scorpioriesling · 26 days

Text

Random Tropes HC (pt. 2)

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Pairing(s): Lucien / Eris x reader

Warnings: slight sexual suggestions

Summary: Random tropes, and how each would play out, depending on the character... and you, of course.

SR’s Note: I saw a filter on Tik Tok where you can rank book tropes, and this idea came to mind. I am using my top 6 (not in order) for the purpose of these posts -- enjoy! Part 1

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Lucien - "Only One Bed"

You were definitely crushing on Lucien -- who wouldn't?

You were close with him and Tamlin, working at the Spring Manor until you became more than an employee, but a friend.

Well, a friend to Lucien anyway.

Tamlin took note of how well you were able to spy, and turned you into his own personal Spymaster.

You didn't mind too much -- after a while, Tamlin warmed up to you. He also appreciated how you made Feyre feel more comfortable when she first arrived in the Spring Court.

As fate would have it, you and Feyre were a lot alike.

It didn't take long to see what was going on. She was planning to run.

Over the last few months, Tamlin grew more enraged, more angry at the world. You couldn't stay, you knew you had to get out.

And Cauldron be damned, Lucien was coming with you.

He wasn't happy about it at first, especially when the two Night Court warriors winnowed Feyre away and left the two of you to walk the rest of the way to the Night Court.

"Do you think he will change?" Lucien asks you, the cold wind ruffling his hair. You shiver against the wind.

"No," you say after a long moment. Lucien pulls you close to him, heat radiating from his body against the chill.

"I don't know if we could ever go back." He says. You sigh and bury closer to him, trying to keep in step with his long legs.

"I don't think he'd allow us back." You say. Tears prick the back of your eyes, but you blink to keep them at bay. Lucien changes the conversation, happier topic chosen this time. He is talking about all the delicious food the Night Court must have when you finally spot a motel in the distance.

"Our salvation!" Lucien gasps. He grabs you by the arm, pulling you with him as he breaks into a jog. You're panting trying to keep up, but you finally make it to the building.

"We're just about sold out." The stocky female behind the desk murmurs. Lucien sighs and runs a hand through his hair. You're standing behind him, and you place a delicate hand on his shoulder. He turns to you, gaze softening.

"Ma'am, we'll take whatever you have left." You say. She rummages through her drawers, presenting a single golden key on a long corded string.

"Floor 2. Last door on the right." She huffs. You anxiously take it from her, looping the string around your neck. The key dangles like a pendant on a necklace as you take Lucien's hand in yours and lead him upstairs.

Some salvation this is.

There's only one bed.

A blessing in disguise.

"Cauldron..." he sighs, slinging his bag to the floor. "I'll just, take the floor." He says, moving into the room. You furrow your brow.

"Lucien, do you think I've never had a sleepover before? We can share." You say. You rifle through your pack for extra clothes, and with a wave of his hand, the candles and fireplace are alight with warmth.

"Well... only if you're okay with that." He says. You nod, realizing then that you have no sleepwear. Lucien seems to realize the same thing as his hands come up empty.

"You can shower first, if you were wanting to." You offer kindly. The firelight is painting his features beautifully, and you force yourself to look away. But Gods, was it hard.

"Thanks!" With that, he was heading for the bathroom. You sighed, flopping down on the bed. You hadn't expected this level of comfort from a motel bed, but the soft silky blankets, the plush pillows...

You sighed a breath of contentment, fingers toying with the gold key laced around your neck.

You stripped down to your undergarments, as your clothes from the day were filthy. Folding them into a neat pile beside the bed, you slipped under the sheets, goosebumps erupting over your body as the blankets had not yet warmed.

Lucien finally came out of the bathroom, his eyes raking over your bare shoulders not concealed by the covers. He choked down a cough, and you kept your eyes closed as he slid into the bed next to you.

His bare arm brushed yours, and your eyes flew open. You readjusted to lay on your side, and so did he at the contact. However, now you were face to face.

"Are you... cold?" He asked. His sweet gaze held yours as his fingers timidly grazed your shoulder. Fresh goosebumps appeared, and you shivered.

"Yes." He frowned.

"Comere." His hand gripped your waist, fingers over your hip bone as he pulled you flush against him. You pretended not to notice the growing buldge pressing against you as his hand traced small patterns over your back.

"I can give you some of my body heat, if this is okay?" He asks, voice low and raspy. Maybe it was the way his lips were inches from yours, the small candelight illuminating his perfectly sculpted face...

Or maybe you had finally decided to be honest.

"It's more than okay." You said. Heat returned to your cheeks, and a small smile danced on his lips as his gaze flicked between your eyes and mouth.

He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered, trailing down your neck to the small key still looped around it. He toyed with it for a moment, before his lust-filled amber eyes met yours once more.

"I can give you more, if that would be okay too." He whispered. You shook again, this time the excited, anxious, energy rolling from you.

"It's more than okay."

Eris - "Who Did This To You?"

Reading was one of Eris' favorite pass times.

In fact, it was one thing he had in common with you.

The only thing, he swore.

One of many things, actually.

In fact, Eris was doing just that when he heard a commotion outside. Usually, it was his father. He'd learned not to get involved, but this time...

This was different.

His heartstrings tugged as he strained his ears, trying to listen beyond his windows for any indication of what was happening.

"Please... please..."

He snapped his novel shut, flying to his feet and racing outside. He wasn't sure what had come over him -- but he knew. He could feel it. You were here, and you needed him.

He'd thought over and over the last few years how you'd cry. How he would and could make you do it. Thought about killing you himself, once. Using his fire on you in ways he'd done only once before. You were acting like a lap dog, sitting with the Inner Circle at one of their meetings. Rhysand didn't let you talk, of course. You didn't even challenge him. You always let him walk all over you.

Maybe that's what pissed him off so badly.

You were packed full of good ideas, talents, advice; but you bowed to Rhysand, and that was that. You never spoke up for yourself.

You were worth so much more than that. You could offer so much more than you were allowed.

He tore through the hedge maze, snapping branches, feet thundering around every corner. His breathing was heavy, eyes searching in the night to find you.

"Please, Eris... someone..."

He followed your pained whimpering until he found you in the middle of the maze. You were slumped against the large water fountain, breathing unevenly as blood stained your neck, dried flakes throughout your usually vibrant tendrils. Your hands braced over your abdomen, tears creating tracks down your dirtied face.

"Oh my Gods..." He rushed to you, and you looked at him in desperation. His heart broke in two, seeing you crumpled and hurt in front of him.

His sadness turned very quickly, to anger. He felt... violent.

He ran his hands over your face, seeing blood pouring from your lip, and he reached up to move some hair from your forehead -- a huge gash the cause for the ever growing pool you sat in. Well, one of the causes. He was fuming, hands trembling as he tried to stay gentle with you, but absolute rage filled his every vein at how this could have happened to you.

Who could've let this happen to you.

"Eris, I..." you coughed, more crimson drops landing on the stone pathway below. "I... I didn't mean to... this is the first place I thought of..." another loud sob wretched from you, and Eris cupped your cheek. His whiskey eyes were dulled to a deep bourbon, his jaw clenched.

"Come with me."

He scooped you up, carrying you as carefully as he could back to his wing of the Forest House. You let out small yelps, the searing pain in your stomach too much to handle.

"Please, stay with me Y/N," he pleaded, looking down at you sorrowfully. He felt as though he was carrying a small, injured deer -- that is what you were. A gentle, wise, doe. His gentle doe.

He finally made it inside, sitting you on the sofa in front of the fireplace as he ran to the washroom and returned quickly. He presented a small wet cloth, taking your chin in his fingers and beginning to wipe away the red stains over your delicate skin. He tried so hard to stay gentle with you, trying to replicate the softness you'd always offerred others.

But, that's one thing you didn't have in common. He wasn't soft, or sweet like you. He tried to steady his breathing, gazing into your round, watery eyes instead. It only caused him more pain, seeing you like that. His head dropped, and he raked a hand through his hair.

"Put this in here," he grabbed a clean cloth, folding it and raising it to your mouth. You opened, usually defiant towards your enemy, but, really... you'd do anything he asked. He placed it between your teeth, and his hands covered your bloody ones, still clutching your stomach.

"Y/N... you have to move your hands." He says. Your eyes screw shut as you groan, removing your hands shakily. He breathes a sharp gasp, shaking his head.

"Hold onto me." He says. You look to him in confusion, and he places your stained fingers on his shoulders. One of his hands lingers on your for a moment, and he pressed the inside of your wrist to his lips. He looks back to you, eyes already asking for forgiveness.

"I'll be honest, I've thought about hurting you before as you've hurt me," he says, voice deep with ... something. Something you couldn't place. You could barely focus as your mind started to fog, vision clouding with black spots. "...but never like this."

He sighs one last time, a hand coming into view, fingers ablaze with fire. You sit up, or try to anyway -- a sob racks your chest, muffled by the cloth, and Eris holds you down, hand splayed over your sternum.

"Hold onto me." He says again. His hand meets your bubbling would, fire searing the skin as a scream tears through your already dry, cracked throat, only quieted by the cloth you’re biting down on. Your eyes blow wide, and you squirm under his hold. He looks at you with regret, pulling back for a moment only to press heat onto your would again.

Your hands rip and claw at the collar of his shirt, red already smeared over most of it. He huffs an apologetic sigh, continuing to carterize your open would.

Over. Over. Over again.

You lean back, knowing the familiar weightless feeling. You were going to black out. His once-white collar slips from your fingers, and your eyes meet his one last time before you slink into darkness.

When you come to, you're wrapped cozily in silken sheets, a pair of fleece pants covering your legs. Soft sunlight streams in through... a window. You blink, widening your eyes and looking around. The mahogony sheets were an unusual replacement to your lilac ones, and the four poster wooden bed was a change as well. Your eyes caught on a bookshelf, one with many titles like yours, at least. One book sat on the window seat, basked in sunlight. It was a title you'd already read.

You were in Eris' room.

You lean to sit up, but cry out in pain and lay back down, head flopping against the plush pillows under your head. Your hands instinctively reach toward your stomach, tugging at the hem of the tank top you bore. A bandage was wrapped around your midsection, concealing any injury. Your mind went to last night, what you'd endured, winnowing to the Autumn Court, the burning...

In moments, Eris is passing through the doorway, concern threading his brows together as he looks you up and down.

"Is everything alright?" He steps to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. He pulls the covers up, tucking them around you in comfort. You shake your head, silver lining your eyes as they meet his.

"I... they took me last night." You manage to get out. Eris readjusts to face you, a hand stroking through your hair. He bites on his lower lip, eyes searching yours.

"Who. Who took you Y/N." He says. It sounds like more of a demand than a question.

You shake your head, a tear slipping free as you remember being kidnapped from your bed, and tossed onto the mountainside. The feeling of snow under your knees, rocks in your palms only the beginning of the pain you'd endure before somehow winnowing away.

"It was... they wanted me to partake in the..." you stifle another cry. Eris brushes his thumb against your cheek.

"The fucking Blood Rite." He bites out. Anger radiates off of him, the small fire in the fireplace near the window growing with each passing second.

Again, he asked, eyes boring into yours. "Y/N, who did this to you?"

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#a court of silver flames #acofas #acotar #acotar smut #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #lucien acotar #lucien vanserra #a court of frost and starlight #lucien x reader #eris vandaddy #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x reader #acotar series

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