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#incorrect colonel rhodes
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Sprite
Rhodey: A sprite is anything that's not static. Tony: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Happy: A sprite is a soda, you goddamn geekass bastards.
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Pepper: why are you following me?
Tony: because we’re dating now
Pepper: okay… what about Rhodey?
Tony: we’re a package deal
Rhodey: buy one idiot, get one free
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uxanduva · 1 year
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mcu military officer rankings
i know these aren't exact (such as Wakandan and Sokovian ranks are prob not the same as us military ranks but still) if i got any info incorrect or anyone who should be on this list but isn't, feel free to let me know! (mostly im just here to shout-out okoye for outranking the rest of all these folks and no one seems to give her enough credit. enjoy ;)
highest to lowest of mcu characters who are/have been in the military as an officer and where they rank secondly sorted in alphabetical order by last name (enlisted personnel (such as Sargeant Barnes) rank under these folks)
O-10 (special) - General - Okoye (Wakanda's Dora Milaje)
O-6 - Colonel - James "Rhodey" Rhodes (USAF)
O-6 - Colonel - Helmut Zemo (Sokovian intelligence)
O-3 - Captain - Carol Danvers (USAF)
O-3 - Captain - Monica Rambeau (USAF)
O-3 - Captain - Steven "Steve" Rogers (USArmy)
O-3 - Captain - Samuel "Sam" Wilson (USAF)
Mentioned as ex-military, no rank specified(?): - Everett Ross (ex-USAF pilot)
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tony: oh it’s a package from my dad
rhodey: what’s in it?
tony: it’s pretty heavy. must be his disappointment in me
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meltedsong · 4 years
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Tony telling Peter a Story: "When Rhodey and I were at MIT we were roommates, and-"
Peter: "Oh my god, you were roommates"
Tony: ???
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Tony: I just realized that, according to Astrology, Stephen and I aren’t compatible!
Tony: SO, I called up NASA and demanded they fix this or ELSE.
Natasha: Tony, you are both self-sacrificing idiots who are completely married to their work. Do you really need stars to tell you the relationship probably isn’t compatible?
Tony, stirring his coffee: We were plenty compatible last NIGHT.
Rhodes, rubbing his temples: You seem to be forgetting you’re adopted, Tony. Your real birthday isn’t in May.
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lordyouko · 5 years
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Stephen: What was Tony like as a kid?
Rhodey: You know those kids that are just soft and innocent and full of light and joy and you just wanna keep them safe from everything?
Tony (butting in from somewhere around): Yeah I was the opposite of that.. a complete fucking nightmare
Rhodey (to Stephen, ignoring Tony): He was all of those things.
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incorrectavngers · 6 years
Conversation
Rhodey: I think I'm depressed, but not all the way depressed. Maybe half-way?
Doctor Cho: That's the paralysis.
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shellsan · 5 years
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30 Day Writing Challenge
Day Twenty-Five: Bone
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing: ThunderIron
Disclaimer: I do not own the MCU
Bone
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Walking into the compound, Thor frowned at the lack of welcome. He had been gone for almost a month, much longer than anticipated, but now that he was finally home, he was eager to see his Anthony.
His lips twitched into a grin at the thought of his love.
Yes, one earth month without him had been far too long, but it would be well worth it – or at least it would be if Anthony accepted.
“Jarvis, where is Anthony?”
It was silent for a moment before the AI responded, voice colder than Thor was used to. “Sir is currently in the workshop with Colonel Rhodes.”
The aesir frowned as he tried to figure out if he had done something of offence before he'd left, but drew a blank. Perhaps the computer was merely in a bad mood? He was, after all, the closest thing to human that could ever be built.
“Thank you.”
Deciding not to dwell on it further, he stepped into the elevator, requesting that Jarvis take him down to the workshop.
The AI did so without saying a word.
Humming to himself, Thor held the gift he'd searched hard for packed safely in it's gift box (as was the tradition on Earth). He really hoped that Tony accepted it and the gifts that it brought, but he couldn't help but twitch a little nervous that he wouldn't.
When the metal doors slid open, the workshop open to him as always, Thor smiled widely, catching a glimpse of Anthony through the glass windows, talking with Rhodes.
“Anthony!” He boomed, stepping into the room properly. “I have returned.”
For a moment there was silence, and Thor's eyebrows furrowed when the two men in front of them exchanged a look, Anthony's pleading and Rhodes... well Rhodes did not look happy at all.
“How dare you?” Rhodey hissed, stepping towards him menacingly.
Tilting his head, Thor only felt more confused. “How dare I what?”
“Yes, Thor, how dare you show up like this after an entire month away, acting like you have any right to be here. After what you did? I should beat you into the fucking ground.”
“I'm not sure I understand what it is I have done to cause you offence, Colonel. Although I apologise for whatever it may be...” He trailed off, uncertain, eyes moving over to Tony to try understand, only to find his lover staring at the ground instead.
Rhodey let out a sharp sounding laugh. “Don't understand. Don't understand?! I trusted you with the life of my best friend, my brother in all but blood, and your way of paying me back was hurting him even more. What else is there to understand?”
Thor swallowed thickly, unsure of what to make of this situation. The anger was right on his tongue, but he forced it down. It wouldn't do to anger the Colonel further.
And yelling at his lover's friend was a sure way to get him in trouble.
Or in more trouble, he supposed, considering the lack of denial from Anthony about what Rhodes was saying.
“I would never hurt Anthony.” He denied finally, voice soft as he looked over to the man he loved. “At least not intentionally. Please, tell me at least what I've done so I might explain myself, or understand your anger.”
Rhodes looked even angrier if that was possible, but for the first time since this interaction had begun, Anthony looked up.
“That's enough, Rhodey. I can handle this.”
The colonel was reluctant, turning to look at Tony. “Are you sure?”
Tony nodded. “I promise I'll be fine. We can talk more later, okay?”
For a moment Thor was sure that Rhodes was going to refuse, but a firmer look from Anthony had him nodding back.
“Fine. For the record I don't like this, and if he hurts you again I'm kicking his ass. In fact, I still might kick his ass just to prove that I can and that I will.” The last words were directed towards the aesir, and he found himself nodding understanding, despite feeling completely out of his depth still.
After that, Rhodes made his way out of the room, muttering about idiot gods and the best ways to kill them under his breath, shooting one last glare towards Thor before the elevator door slid shut behind him.
Finally alone, Thor allowed his attention to settle solely on Anthony, taking in the details of his face that screamed of his age, as well as his stress.
“Will you tell what slight I have performed against you?” Thor asked finally, the first to break the silence.
Anthony hesitated for a moment before his voice filled the room. “You left.”
Thor frowned. “I told you that I was returning to Asgard for the while, did I not?”
Was he remembering incorrectly? He could have sworn...
“Yes, you did.”
So he wasn't incorrect in that. But then, what was the problem?
“You told me you'd be gone for a while. I expected you to be gone a couple weeks, three at max. You were gone for almost five weeks Thor.”
“I'm not sure I understand, Anthony-”
“Stop, just stop.” Anthony cut him off, and Thor let his mouth click shut quietly, nodding.
“You were gone for five weeks, Thor. I'm not getting any younger here, and give weeks isn't just 'a while' for me. That's a long time. Even longer without any word of whether or not you were okay. I was terrified that I would get a notice from gatekeeper guy telling me that you'd gone and gotten yourself killed. Or that you'd found the real love of your life, someone else immortal, not some washed up old earthling like myself. And then you show up here like nothing has changed in five weeks, like the world stopped turning for five weeks while you were gone. Newsflash, Thor, it didn't. It kept turning, and I had to keep living. Wondering if you were even still alive.”
The words if you were even coming back weren't said, but they were heard none-the-less, and it reminded Thor that this man wasn't always as strong as he seemed.
Perhaps he should let the colonel kill him just on the principle of the thing. He certainly deserved it.
But his Anthony wasn't done yet, determined to clear the air before Thor got a word in edgewise.
“I'm not just some toy for you to play with, Thor. I don't do flings any more. If I'm giving my heart to you, broken though it may be, and I can't be with you if you aren't willing to do the same.” He said finally, voice straining with the effort not to cry, eyes watering slightly.
For a moment Thor was shocked and silence reigned in the room, before the aesir realised where this talk was going, memories of something similar with Jane coming to mind.
But this time, it hurt a lot more than when Jane had said something similar, much closer to ripping his heart out, and suddenly the thought of losing Anthony made everything so much more bleak, no longer worth living for.
“Anthony.” He started finally, voice breaking a little. When he wasn't stopped, he continued. “If you no longer love me, then I will not deny you-”
“It's not-”
“Anthony, I let you speak, now you must do the same for me. Please.”
The smaller man nodded, mouth clicking shut similarly to how his own had before.
“Thank you. If you no longer love me, then I can not, would never, force you to stay with me. I am sorry that my actions these past months have caused you sadness, it was never my intention. I just wish for you to understand why I was gone for that long.”
The timing seemed all wrong now, but Thor revealed the wrapped gift box from behind his back, holding it towards Anthony, only to have to place it down on the counter – something that hasn't happened since their relationship had begun (and it broke his heart all the more to see the distrust return).
“If you do not wish to accept this gift, I will not be angry. Nor will I force you to stay with me even if you do accept it. You deserve this, Anthony, and I only wish to offer you the chances it might bring you.” He said finally, before waving for the other man to open.
Anthony's movement were slow and measure, calculating even in something this simple.
Neither spoke as the wrapping was uncovered, and the lid removed to reveal the shining golden apple, surrounded by red tissue paper to keep it safe.
“Is this-” Anthony gasped out, mind connecting the pieces easily, eyes watering just after they'd finally begun to dry.
“An apple of Idunn, the giver of immortality.” Thor confirmed, nodding. “I had hoped to give this to you under better circumstances, but if you are to leave me, then I would have you know that I truly did wish for us to be together. Forever. This was never a fling for me, Anthony. And I don't think I could ever love another as much as I love you.”
After the admission, there was silence once more, before a broken sound escaped Anthony's lips.
“Yes.”
Thor frowned a little. “Yes?”
There was laughter, choked up from the tears, but still so very fond, and it warmed Thor to the core.
“Yes. I accept this apple.”
Thor lit up, before he sobered slightly. “And me?”
Tony looked at him seriously. “I'm not going to lie to you, Thor. You fucked up. I'm not a mind reader, and I need you to communicate to me your thoughts like this or this is not going to last even close to forever. Yes, I accept you too. I love you, you idiot, and I hated having to imagine my life without you. But you have a lot to make up for.”
The aesir grinned, rushing forwards to pull Anthony into his arms, only to stop a millimetre away, unsure of whether or not his affection would be accepted.
Anthony rolled his eyes. “Yes you can touch me.”
Practically glowing at being given permission, Thor engulfed him, lifting the man slightly of the ground, holding on tight, terrified to let go ever again. “I will do what ever it takes to prove my love to you once more, Anthony. For however long it takes.” He promised, the words soft.
He felt Anthony swallow. “That may take a very long time.” He warned.
Thor squeezed him tighter. “And every moment of it will be worth it.”
And it was.
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mostlystuckony · 6 years
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*Rhodey trying to talk to a sleep-deprived Tony*
Rhodey: Tony, I need to be frank.
Tony: *Slurring* Why would you want to be Frank when you're already Rhodey?
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geekymoviemom · 6 years
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SotF Chapter 12 Preview
Behind?  Catch up on AO3/ FFN  :)
“Morning, JARVIS,” Tony said, taking a sip of his coffee and sitting down at his monitor.  He could hear Steve, Peter, and Bruce talking in the kitchen as Steve prepared breakfast, something they’d just sort of fallen into on the weekends at the Tower.  Thor even joined them some of the time, when he wasn’t out “exploring the vastness that was Midgard,” as he put it.
“Got anything of interest for me this morning?”
“One message from Miss Potts, stating that the new Stark Industries building in D.C. passed its inspection and will open according to schedule,” stated JARVIS.  “Another from Colonel Rhodes, saying that the orbital launch for the Hulkbuster armor has finally been approved by the Senate Armed Forces Committee.  And a third bit of information that you might find interesting, sir.  I have already sent it to the monitor.”
Tony’s jaw clenched as he leaned in towards the monitor, his eyes narrowing as they scanned over the displayed file that carried the old, original version of the SHIELD logo.  “What am I looking at, JARVIS?”
“I am unsure how much you wish me to say aloud, sir,” JARVIS answered, his mechanical voice nearly at a whisper.  “It is in regards to some new information I was able to uncover.”
Taking another sip of his coffee, Tony paused, listening to the playful banter coming from the direction of the kitchen.  Peter was busy regaling Bruce and Steve with the story of how two of his classmates nearly blew up one of their classrooms earlier in the week when they inadvertently mixed two incorrect chemicals together.  He smiled as he heard Peter laughing.  He had such a sweet, innocent laugh.
“Should be okay as long as you’re quiet, J,” Tony said quietly.  “But make it quick.  Cap’s almost done with breakfast.”
“Very well, sir,” said JARVIS.  “I have only this morning been able to decipher some additional text on the old SHIELD file pertaining to Richard Parker.”
Tony’s heart lurched as he sank down into a chair.  There were many a day—actually most days, if he was truly honest with himself—where Tony tried to forget that Peter ever had another person in his life that he’d once called “Dad”.  It wasn’t fair in Tony’s eyes that this other man got to see Peter be born, take his first steps, and say his first words, and he didn’t.
The full chapter will post on Monday, September 10th :)
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givemethatgold · 7 years
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Rescued pt 9
Summary:  After Bucky comes to your aid in a moment of panic you extend an invitation to family dinner. Neither of you could have foreseen how this small act of kindness would alter you, and your life, forever.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Tony Stark x alcohol Warnings: Swearing, alcoholism, stress baking Word Count:1616
Author’s Note: I’ve been struggling with finding the time and inspiration to write lately, and I apologize profusely if this is reflecting in my writing! Morning sickness is a bitch. @bxckytrxsh is my lovely proof-reader and sweet, sweet friend.
Previously
“Tony Stark, and you are?”
Freaking the fuck out right now!
“Y/N Y/L/N. How’s Bucky? Is he,” you stopped and willed away your tears, “is he going to be okay?”
Tony’s eye immediately softened.
“He’s going to be fine. Y/N, look at me, you saved him. Now, why don’t you come with me? The team has more than a few questions for you.”
Tony scoops you up in his arms like you weigh nothing and starts walking towards another entrance that seems to lead into the living quarters of the compound.
“Hmmm...on second thought,” he pauses and sniffs, “maybe we should get you to a shower first.”
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You were trying hard to remain calm and collected but it was an extremely hard thing to do when you were sitting at a conference table with the majority of the Avengers sitting across from you.  It felt like you were at a job interview from hell.
Scarlet Witch, Falcon, and Captain America sat off to one side of the table. Iron Man, Vision, and War Machine sat as far away from them as they could, and Black Widow was in the middle seemingly acting as both interrogator and buffer. 
You shifted in your seat, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the heavy silence. Your ankle had been wrapped and was elevated on the chair next to you, but the movement still caused a twinge of pain. You fought to keep a neutral expression; afraid that any word or expression could be taken incorrectly by the intimidating group.
“So, by the time Bucky woke up, the fire had already spread throughout the house?” Natasha had finally broken her silence after hearing you recount your perspective of the last three days. Of all that had happened, she seemed unusually interested in the house fire.
“You don’t think it was an accident, do you?” It came out as more of a statement than a question.
“Y/N, I don’t want to alarm you but we need to face facts and take action.” Natasha’s face softened minutely as she reached across the table and patted your hand. The surprised looks on everyone’s faces didn’t escape either of you, but you both chose to ignore them; the current topic being too important.
“When those Hydra operatives caught up to you, they already knew who you are and what you... meant to Barnes.” Tony, who was already into the scotch at 9:30 in the morning, finished his glass and leveled his gaze at you. “We think they tested him with the fire to see how he would react. Hell, they may have even orchestrated your meeting in the parking lot just to encourage him into gaining a weakness.”
I’m sorry, what I meant to Bucky? Past tense?! Who does this asshole think he is? Okay, that’s it. I am so fucking done being the weak link and getting stepped on.
When you had come close to being attacked in the parking lot, a small ball of rage had begun to form in the pit of your stomach. You had allowed it to take over when your mom had revealed her cancer, but the resulting damage to your knuckles had you forcing the emotion down and running from it. That tiny ball had been added to, a lot, over the past couple of days; the fire, the hospital, getting shot at, getting hurt, seeing Bucky bleeding, almost losing him, and now. Hearing this man, one of Bucky’s supposed teammates, talk about him so flippantly, like he was some lab rat and not a human being; this was the straw that broke the seal on that rage.
“First of all, you supercilious prick,” you rose up onto your hands as much as you could, “it's what I mean, to Bucky. I’m not going anywhere, regardless of his past and what is happening now.  Secondly, if you are so goddamn confident that Hydra knows about me and my family, what the fuck are you doing sitting around here!? Go bloody get them and put them somewhere safe!” 
By the time you were done your speech you were yelling, and not just at Tony. The room sat in stunned silence for a breathe then everyone sprung into action. Sam and Steve both gave you a quick nod before exiting the room, Vision disappeared through the wall, Natasha and Wanda both came to give you a few words of reassurance before sprinting away, and after a mini-quarrel, Rhodey and Tony got up and began to exit. 
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” You called out to Tony, using your best authoritative nurse voice.
“I am going to, as you so eloquently put it, go bloody get your family,” Tony replied, giving you a withering look.
“Not inebriated you’re not!”
“Sweetheart, I’m Iron Man, if you thi-”
“Mr. Stark!” You interrupted. “I don’t care who you are when you put on a fancy metal suit. Right now, you’re a drunk mess on a Sunday morning who needs to sober up and see a therapist!” You were shouting again but you couldn’t find it in you to care. “If you so much as look at one of your suits, I swear to god I will call it in and report you for a DUI. This is my family, I won’t risk you compromising anything!”
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.!” Tony called, leveling you again with a challenging look.
“Yes, Mr. Stark?” A disembodied voice replied.
You were able to keep your expression neutral and continue the staring contest with Tony.
“Where is my suit? I’ve been calling it for over a minute.”
“It’s in its dock, where it’s going to stay. I’m inclined to agree with Miss Y/L/N, and I won’t be assisting the operation of your suit until your blood alcohol level is back to zero.”
The shock on Tony’s face quickly turned into indignant rage. His casually cross arms were not at his sides with his hands clenched into fists. You took a moment to worry he may try to punch you, but quickly dismissed the idea. Tony could be a hotheaded asshole, but even he had limits.
“Come on Stank, time to walk it off and do some thinking.” Colonel Rhodes was poking Tony with his cane, trying to get his attention.
Tony stayed staring at you for a moment longer then disappeared out the door. You let out the breath you had been holding and sank back down onto your chair. 
“I’m impressed,” Rhodey said softly to you, “not a lot of people can stand up to Tony, never mind win one of his ultra-alpha staring contests. Give it a few days, I expect he’ll come around.”
You gave him a small smile in thanks for his kind words then slumped forward to rest your forehead on the cool, polished table. Gently banging your forehead a few times before going completely limp in order to better question your behavior towards your host; a friggen superhero. 
“May I suggest you rest in your room, Miss Y/l/n? It’d be a wee bit comfier than the conference room. I calculate that your family will arrive within the hour.”
Lifting your head you looked around for the source of the voice; a speaker or intercom. Coming up empty you just spoke aloud, thanking the woman and asking for directions to your room which, apparently, Tony had arranged for you while you had been getting cleaned up and attended to in the med-bay.
Great. Wonderful. Excellent. Phenomenal first day, Y/n.
Rather than going to your guest room, you had found solace in wandering the halls and exploring the compound. So far, you had discovered that the Avengers seemed to like rom-coms, had a library full of fantasy and science fiction novels, and someone must be a musician as one room was equipped with enough instruments to make a small orchestra happy. They also had a kitchen to die for, stocked full of sugary cereal and a crazy amount of protein shake powder. 
This is what superheroes eat? Can’t Stark afford a nutritionist and private chef? Christ.
Deciding to blow off some steam while waiting for your family to arrive, you stayed in the kitchen and began to bake. Four loaves of bread, three meat pies, a massive pot of chili, and peach crumble later you started wondering what was holding up the arrival of your family. 
Remembering the built-in AI who seemed to mother-hen the group, you tentatively called out.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”
“The quinjet is ten minutes out, I apologize for my incorrect calculation. I didn’t account for people not believing Captain America.”
“Jordan...” you muttered, shaking your head. It was no surprised to hear that he put up and fight and refused to go quietly. 
You could just imagine the panic they must have felt waking up in the hotel with you gone, Jordan’s truck gone, no way of getting a hold of you, and then the Avengers bursting in claiming their lives may be in danger. 
“They will all be escorted to the conference room where you were earlier today.” The AI informed you.
“Would it be possible to bring them here? I think everyone could use some comfort food while they hear the news.”
After the debriefing and dinner, the Avengers had left your family alone in the common area. While you were grateful for the opportunity to be with him, you were finding it hard to speak. The guilt of what had happened was falling on your shoulders; knowing that none of it would have happened had you just been more careful when buying those fucking groceries.
Your mom and dad had tried to console you, Karen had flat out told you that you were being dumb if you thought that any of this was your fault, and Jordan mumbled something about needing to do background checks. The one person who you could always count of to bring light to a situation and make you laugh was being uncharacteristically quiet.
Before you could ask Mikey how he was doing, your name was being called. Looking toward the door you spotted Bucky, leaning heavily on the doorjamb but looking a lot more alive than the last time you saw him.
“Bucky,” you breathed, heart leaping into your throat at the sight of him on his feet, “How are you fee- MIKEY, NO!”
Part Ten
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Rhodey: Hey, what have you two been doing? Tony: we were helping Steve with his wedding vows and we were kicked out of their house for making it "inappropriate". Clint: How is “Nice ass, Buck” inappropriate?
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john-laurens · 7 years
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Lately I’ve seen a certain piece of misinformation on Laurens being spread around (not intentionally - I think it’s because of the factually incorrect first version of the “Laurens Interlude” that some people have heard).  I wanted to correct it because this misinformation is giving Laurens a lot of credit where it isn’t wholly due.
Laurens was never successful in getting his plan for a black regiment approved; therefore, he never led a regiment of freed slaves during the Revolutionary War.  And even if he had, it would not have been the first case of black people or freed slaves serving in the war.
Laurens certainly tried to get the regiment approved, but he was met with overwhelming opposition by the South Carolina House of Representatives time and time again.  He proposed his plan to the SC House of Reps on three separate occasions, right up until his death, but he was never able to get more than one or two dozen votes in his favor.  This legislature was made up of the very slaveowners that would have had to give up their slaves to form the regiment, so they weren’t too keen on approving Laurens’s plan and 1) losing what made them money/kept them rich, and 2) arming the slaves that they had been abusing for decades.  In his final proposal, Laurens even suggested that the slaves for the regiment could come from the confiscated loyalist estates instead of from many of the representatives’ estates, but the proposal was still rejected.
Thus, Laurens was not able to lead a black regiment during the war.  When he died, there were no slaves that had to be returned to their masters (other than Shrewsberry and another slave that had served as John’s valets and were, if I recall correctly, ultimately returned to Henry Laurens).
And Laurens’s plan wasn’t completely novel!  Colonel Christopher Greene of Rhode Island enlisted slaves to form his 1st Rhode Island Regiment.  I have not read as much about this regiment, so I don’t want to try and get into the details of Greene’s work, but I can assure you that Laurens was neither the first nor the only man to think of offering slaves freedom in exchange for their service.
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Tony: Nat, can you feel my forehead?
Natasha: Sure, Tony. [presses her mouth for his head] You feel fine.
Tony: Damn.
Tony: Bruce, would you say there’s something weird about my finger?
Bruce: [examines his hand] ...No?
Tony: Damn.
Tony: Rhodey, would you say twitching eyelids is something worth calling a doctor for?
Rhodes: I think it’s probably just stress related, Tones.
Tony, brightening up: I need a second opinion.
Tony: [dials a number] Hello? Hey, Stephen! Oh, I just wanted you to check something for me. It’s my eye. Yeah, it’s been bothering me...
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Clint: Dude, just go put on a coat already.
Tony, shivering: What, and let Stephen lord it over me for the rest of my life that HE was RIGHT about it being cold out and that I should have put on my coat before I left? Pfft.
Rhodey: [chuckling] Hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
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