#it feels nice to have it wrapped up and bittersweet and i get emotional every time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ponett · 4 months

Text

Bobby's 2023 Media Wrap-Up

So! Like I said before, this past year I kept a running list of everything I watched, every game I finished, every new album I listened to, etc., and wrote one-paragraph blurbs with my thoughts on every single one. Please enjoy this journey through everything I liked, or didn't like, in 2023, with my favorites of the year listed at the bottom.

(Yes! This is long!!)

Some notes:

I mainly only included things I finished. Exceptions are marked with an asterisk.

I included some YouTube stuff as "TV shows" - mostly particularly long, high effort video essays and documentaries.

I was a bit less adventurous than I'd like to have been this year. Part of this was just that I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with Big Releases I felt obligated to check out, and part of this was just executive dysfunction from burnout. Wait until you see how long it took me to beat Mario Wonder lmao

Yes, I need to read more books. I don't read a lot of books these days. I need to get back to Discworld.

COLOR KEY

Video Games • TV / Web Video • Movies • Comics • Music

January

1/15: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (MSQ) - Very slow at times, the Primal shit is generally extremely lame to me outside of the boss fights themselves, but god if the quality of life improvements over WoW, the JRPG energy, and the fact that it Actually Has A Story carry it pretty hard.

1/18: Sonic the Hedgehog: Scrapnik Island miniseries - One of the most creative and compelling uses of the Sonic IP… ever? Fantastic little self-contained arc about the struggles of Eggman’s abandoned creations that gracefully weaves between heartfelt optimism and moody horror with some of the best art ever seen in a Sonic comic.

1/18: Mega Man X4 - Glad I finally actually beat this after never even beating any of the Mavericks as a kid! I can see why it’s a lot of peoples’ favorites. The gameplay has very little of that X series bloat and is just fun, especially after getting X’s armor upgrades. (But the story really is a long series of missed opportunities.)

February

2/2: Donks - Felix Colgrave continues to be an exceptional artist. The sound design on this is fantastic and really sells this short as something unique. Had to go back and watch his older stuff again after this.

2/4: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (3.0 - 3.3 MSQ) - I get it now. I get why people say this is just a proper mainline Final Fantasy game built into the framework of an MMO. That shit ruled. Not even walking back the drama in Ul’Dah from the end of ARR can sour me on it because the main storyline was so strong.

2/8: Disneyland's Forgotten Sci-Fi Rock Band - Live From the Space Stage - A nice and honest tribute to a group of artists who could have easily been forgotten. In hindsight this feels like a precursor to Kevin’s Disney Channel jingle video, a tribute to the unsung artists pouring their hearts into “lesser” art for a megacorporation, art that was designed to be transient but sticks with people nonetheless.

2/9: Metroid Prime Remastered* - Not gonna finish because I just played through the Wii version in 2021, but still. Very, very pretty remaster.

2/16: Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - It’s more Theatrhythm. What more could I want

2/17: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (anime) - Probably the best part of the anime so far (assuming they continue on to SBR). A near perfect mix of the more structured plot of part 5 with the goofiness of parts 3 and 4 that crescendos into a fantastic, bombastic, emotional, bittersweet ending. The use of footage from the original opening and the new ending set to Roundabout in the finale were perfect, and made me intensely nostalgic for the early days of my JoJo fandom between seasons 1 and 2 of the anime.

2/22: Aggretsuko Season 5 - I don’t really know what to make of this one. Once you get past the agonizing initial arc all about Haida where Retsuko has to be his overbearing mommy GF who flips out and starts spying on him when she’s left on read and chides him when he misbehaves, it feels like an improvement over the previous seasons. But I don’t know how much of that is due to the extremely low bar set by season 4. And then the ending is extremely rushed and anticlimactic. They got legally married and the only acknowledgement was a shot of them signing the paperwork in a montage partway through the final episode?????????

2/24: Double Fine PsychOdyssey - God, what a journey the making of this game was. I already loved 2 Player’s past efforts at documenting Double Fine’s process, but this takes it to a whole new level. This feels culturally significant. The depth and honesty with which they depict not just the nitty gritty of making a game, but also the inherent struggles of working on a collaborative creative work for years at a time, is astounding. Not to mention that they were there to capture the shift from office life to remote work as COVID hit. So much of this would have been nightmarishly stressful to watch if I didn’t already know how successful the game was, but that’s just because they really didn’t sugarcoat it. And yet even after all that, it leaves me feeling optimistic about video games as an art form in a way that the constant headlines about cynical live service games don’t. There are still people out there pouring their hearts into making real art, and this is their story. Everyone who plays video games should watch this.

2/25: Cracker Island (Gorillaz) - New Gorillaz albums feel like less of an event these days, but after Humanz it feels like they’re just more chill with the project and their ambitions with it. Every couple years we get some more laid back jams from Damon along with some fun new collabs. Hard to complain. Favorite track: New Gold

2/25: Pool Kids (Pool Kids) - I discovered this band because Derek knows them and was excited when they got a song added to Fortnite through the Bandcamp collab. Always down to find more cool indie rock bands I can vibe with. The mix of dreamy vocals and energetic riffs on some of the tracks here almost fill the Crying-shaped hole in my heart. Almost… Favorite track: Conscious Uncoupling

2/25: Insane in the Rain (insaneintherainmusic) - I thought it was really funny timing when Carlos announced that his first original project would be a jazz fusion album inspired by acts like T-Square and Casiopea right as I was getting into those two specific bands. The final product does not disappoint. Favorite track: Insane in the Rain

2/26: Get Up Sequences Part Two (The Go! Team) - I’ve never been one to believe that a band’s sound has to remain exactly the same forever, but it really does hit you hard that the first two tracks here sound like classic The Go! Team. Their more recent cleaner sound is still here too, though, for a nice mix of old and new. Favorite track: Divebomb

2/28: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 1) - Oh my god. Oh my god. I got distracted around the time I was finishing SLARPG, but finally catching up now, wow. My assumption that the seemingly lighter tone of the series compared to the prologue was there to lull us into a false sense of security before twisting the knife when war finally breaks out was spot on. This is peak Gundam.

March

3/4: Pizza Tower - One of the best platformers I’ve played in a long time. It transcends its blatant Wario Land inspirations with the sheer speed at which Peppino can move and the way things like the level design, his wall running, and even the hidden ability to do a second lap around the level reward getting into a flow state where you’re just constantly moving. This is the type of game that wants to turn you into a speedrunner. My only real complaint is a few iffy enemy designs that I wish would get patched.

3/6: Bloons TD 6 * - I bought this before bed one night on a nostalgic whim and then the next morning woke up and saw the Steam receipt email on my phone in one of the most “what did I do last night” moments of my life. I like when the monkeys pop the balloons.

3/7: The Book of Boba Fett - I put off finishing this show for a very long time but finally caved upon the release of The Mandalorian season 3. This show spends four episodes failing to make me give a shit about Boba Fett trying to be “the daimyo” and drive the drug trade off of Tatooine, then just gives up and becomes season 2.5 of Mando, which in turn feels like it undercuts the main series. It fails as both its own story and as a spinoff. I know that finishing this after Andor did it no favors, but WHOOF.

3/12: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Some interesting ideas in the first half hinting at a more introspective show, but it’s mostly swept aside in the back half so it can become a generic Star Wars adventure remixing things from A New Hope and Rebels (and apparently Jedi: Fallen Order). Action scenes have zero stakes because you know nothing can happen to any of the returning characters and none of the new ones are particularly interesting. Why there’s a second climax hinging on a Luke Skywalker death fakeout eludes me. Obi-Wan throwing the rocks at Vader is one of the funniest things in Star Wars history. But it was still better than Book of Boba Fett, I guess.

3/19: The King of Braves GaoGaiGar - Wow, cool robot indeed… GaoGaiGar isn’t going to blow anyone away with its writing, but sometimes you just need a really fun monster of the week mecha show with great action and lovably goofy characters. This is a show where like 20% of every episode consists of recycled transformation, combination, and signature attack sequences and I ate it up every time because they look fucking cool as hell. I don’t care. I’d watch Final Fusion another 49 times.

3/21: The Last of Us (HBO) * - Watched the first two episodes out of curiosity, but I’m not sure if I’ll continue because I don’t give a shit about The Last of Us. It’s definitely a well done adaptation, though, even if I know it’s inevitably going to devolve into miserable torture porn with questionable politics if they adapt Part II faithfully. The ending of episode 2 also lines up perfectly with where I stopped in the game in 2013 lmao

3/27: The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse (Folding Ideas) - Another banger from Dan Olson. This time the premise inherently gives him more time to just show off a bunch of stupid ugly bullshit made by crypto guys, which is fun. My main complaint was that I wished he would’ve brought up Second Life more as a point of comparison (a thing I basically always want out of discussion of “the metaverse”), but he at least did touch on it in the last section.

3/31: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - I can’t believe after years of begging for the supporting cast to get more and better material in a Sonic game I got my wish in the form of a freeware murder mystery VN released for April Fools. This kicked ass.

April

4/7: Berserk - Completed Miura’s run and caught up on the chapters that have been released posthumously. It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t been said about Berserk, universally agreed upon as one of the greats of manga and fantasy fiction as a whole. What begins in its first few volumes as a nihilistic and edgy action comic built to facilitate as much sex and gore as possible quickly evolves into something deeply human and vulnerable and beautiful, both figuratively and in terms of its lavish art. The world sucks and is immeasurably cruel, and you will see that cruelty illustrated in graphic, sickening detail repeatedly throughout the series. (Perhaps a little too often throughout the Golden Age, where it feels like Miura never misses an opportunity to threaten Casca with sexual assault mid-battle.) But the point isn’t to wallow in that misery. It’s the story of a victim of horrific abuse learning to slowly open up to others, having those people he cares about torn away from him in the worst night of his life, hardening himself into a cold killing machine, and then slowly learning to open back up again, even if it means leaving himself vulnerable to more hurt. Anyone who says that the series peaked with the eclipse and went downhill in the “Guts’ JRPG Party” era is missing the point. Guts needed to find new people in his life to care about, to begin to find happiness again. Because no matter what unspeakable things Guts has gone through, it’s still possible for him to heal and to be loved. It takes time, but eventually you stop and realize that life has moved on.

4/8: Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe - Skipped it upon release because I didn’t particularly care for the minigame in Triple Deluxe, and I didn’t miss much. It’s fine as a little distraction, but not as a standalone rhythm game with only seven songs. If you don’t bother with the hard modes or chase after high scores this game is 15 minutes long. Oh how I yearn for Kirby to get the Theatrhythm treatment.

4/10: The King of Braves: GaoGaiGar FINAL - Eh… It was okay. Lots of cool robot fights, but said fights are stitched together with a mediocre plot that tries too hard to be more “mature” than its unabashedly schlocky kids’ show predecessor. Not crazy about the ending, either, which tries to be a bittersweet farewell closing off the series once and for all while also teasing that maybe there’ll be ANOTHER sequel after the OVA series they literally called “FINAL.” Ah well.

4/11: The Owl House - Sad to see this one go, but it’s hard to imagine them doing a better finale than this, even if they had gotten the six seasons they deserved. I’m not as obsessed with The Owl House as I probably would’ve been had it come out when I was, like, 20, but it’s a really fantastic show for all the reasons people always say. Great characters, great world, great story. I love that this starry-eyed fantasy story about a teenager finding love and a place where she belongs is also set on the rotting corpse of a titan with Hieronymous Bosch-inspired scenery and freaky monsters everywhere. What a great mix. If anything, I just wish I would’ve watched the first season as it aired so I could’ve had more time with it.

4/29: Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue Version - FINALLY beat this via the new collection, 20 years after playing it as my first Mega Man game. (Technically my first was White, not Blue, but whatever.) There are more annoyances than I remember - lots of really really bad forced backtracking sections where you have to revisit every previous part of the internet, low chip drop rates, some really aggravating bosses like BubbleMan and KingMan, etc. But it’s still a great time overall. It’s Battle Network. In the back half the story gets surprisingly emotional, too. I was always under the assumption that the Hub stuff never came back up much in the story after 1, so I was pleasantly surprised with how relevant it was to the emotional arc of 3.

4/30: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun * - Yeah I’m not playing through the whole thing lmao. I just wanted to play the first couple hours for nostalgia’s sake, and as a baseline for how much better the rest are. Even before getting deep in the game and having to deal with all the shit gated between doing two new game+ playthroughs, it’s immediately obvious how much of a downgrade this one is. Tons of glaring errors and typos all over the script, blander music, a way more boring aesthetic for the internet, and a premise that mostly just recycles the tournament idea from 3.

May

5/14: The Venture Bros. - Glad I finally sat down and watched all of this with Anthony after having seen one (1) episode as a teenager and a bunch of random clips in the years since. Great show. Some jokes in the early seasons haven’t aged gracefully, but what the show grows into over time... man. Hank and Dean go from being the butt of the joke to being characters you actually sympathize with - while still also being funny little goofballs. And the journey Henchman 21 goes on throughout the show. Man. Amazing that a comedy like this could run for 20 years and maintain its level of quality. Can’t wait for the movie.

5/18: Future Me Hates Me (The Beths) - Okay yeah I’m now just discovering bands through Fortnite lmao. I can’t complain really, they pick some really great indie artists for the in-game radio stations. Anyway: It’s very easy to win me over with a combination of energetic power pop, catchy guitar riffs, and earnest lyrics like this. One of those albums where three or four tracks in I know I have to buy it. Favorite track: Not Running

5/18: Jump Rope Gazers (The Beths) - Ditto. Favorite track: Dying to Believe

5/18: Expert In A Dying Field (The Beths) - Another good album. (I’m listening to these in release order.) I’ve been a bit slower to warm up to this one, initially thinking it was a little too mellow overall, but it might be my favorite after a few listens. Some real high highs. Interestingly, the lead singer’s New Zealand accent is also coming out more in her singing? Favorite track: Your Side (or maybe Head in the Clouds)

5/19: The Super Mario Bros. Movie - As a Mario fan, I think I enjoyed it? As a movie, less so? It was decent, in spite of feeling like they came up with a list of fun action setpieces first and then wrote the absolute bare minimum possible for the story scenes tying it all together. Full thoughts here. (This is the first movie I’ve seen this year, huh? I really don’t watch a lot of movies.)

5/23: Don't Know What You're In Until You're Out (Gladie) - I feel like I don’t like Gladie as much as I should. Their style of noisy indie rock is very much in my wheelhouse, and I do enjoy listening to them, but I dunno. Maybe it’s that the particular style of vocals makes it more monotonous to me. A good album nonetheless, if not 100% my thing. Favorite track: Nothing

5/24: City Slicker (Ginger Root) - Yes I am still making my way through Bandcamp artists I heard on Fortnite don’t @ me. Any excuse to get me to listen to some cool city pop-inspired funk like this is a good excuse. Favorite track: Loretta

5/24: Rikki (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: Why Try

5/25: Spotlight People (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: The Classic

5/29: Succession - A good dramedy series that increasingly focuses more on the drama than the comedy as it progresses, but it’s hard to complain about that since the drama is so compellingly produced. I enjoyed it. That being said, I kind of rankle at the claims that it’s The Greatest TV Show Of All Time. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. Amazing performances all around. But the show LOVES to spin its wheels, to repeat itself, and to let most of its interesting dramatic developments fizzle out before anything really comes of them, almost as if the show is constantly getting bored with its own ideas. To some extent this is intentional - Logan Roy is the untouchable billionaire, his kids fail at everything (but will nonetheless remain billionaires), and in the long run none of them really give a shit about anything other than their own status. But it’s not like things tend to visibly impact anyone else, either, be they supporting characters or the world at large. Even the Big Scary Election, where the Roy siblings are directly responsible for plunging the nation into chaos, ultimately has zero impact on the finale a mere two episodes later. Certain Other Things do have an impact in the last season, though, allowing things to meaningfully change for the cast and for the show to sit with the ensuing drama, which has stopped me from souring on Succession more. There was finally a payoff for something. But it does still kind of feel like a show that goes in circles until it’s ready to call it quits, even if those circles did contain a lot of great acting and music along the way.

5/29: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts - I’d watched the first 12 episodes when they originally released, but I guess the Netflix binge release and the fact that all three “seasons” came out in one year led to me waiting until it finished… and then I just never got around to finishing it. Glad I fixed that! Really fun and stylish cartoon with an art style reminiscent of Teen Titans, a hip hop-filled soundtrack, dynamic fight scenes, and a colorful post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant (mostly anthropomorphic) animals. I’ll admit that at times I do kinda roll my eyes at Kipo’s unshakeable belief that everyone can be friends in a way that I don’t necessarily with similar shows like Steven Universe, and not every joke lands, but I dunno. It’s a kids’ show. That’s to be expected. It doesn’t detract from the overall package for me.

June

6/1: Craig of the Creek (Season 4) - It’s been years and I’m still processing the fact that kids can turn on Cartoon Network and hear Jeff Rosenstock. Anyway! Craig continues to be one of the best cartoons on TV, consistently funny and creative and way more engaging than a show about a bunch of kids LARPing in the woods has any right to be. This season turned into One Piece with the gang effectively hunting down the Poneglyphs in search of a legendary treasure. The kids think it’ll be magic. It isn't. An increasing number of cartoon logic gags aside, this show is firmly set in the real world. Does that make it any less interesting? Hell no. Season 3 turned a game of capture the flag into an all-out five episode war between the heroes and villains, filled with dramatic turnabouts and a climactic guest appearance from Del the Funky Homosapien. I’m sure however they wrap things up in the (sadly shortened) final season, it’ll be great. (Also? I would watch a whole show based on that “what if” episode that jumped forward to everyone’s 20s.)

6/6: Barry - Holy shit, what a show. I ended up binging it in less than a week in a cycle of “okay, just one more episode.” The way this show is able to swing between tones and genres while still feeling like a cohesive whole is truly masterful. It’s a layered character drama, a tragic crime thriller, a farcical comedy, an understated action series, a surrealist morality play, and a scathing satire of Hollywood, all in one. Even within the criminal underworld subplots the show ranges in tone from Breaking Bad to Paddington 2. And it works! While the show naturally gets bleaker over time as it confronts the repercussions of Barry’s murders, it never completely loses sight of its comedic roots. My favorite episode was easily season 2’s “ronny/lily,” a mostly self-contained episode that somehow manages to keep throwing the perfect curveballs to escalate its dark comedy.

6/12: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition) - Y’all heard of this movie? Pretty good, it turns out. (I’d seen the theatrical cut before, but this was my first time watching the extended edition. I’ve also only seen parts of the other two movies, so it’s time I finally watch all the extended cuts. The Gollum game pushed me to this.)

6/13: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition) - give it to us RAW and WRIGGLING

6/17: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition) - I’m not crying YOU’RE crying

6/22: Clone High (Season 2) - While the first episode being about “cancel culture” (or, more accurately, a teenager from 2003 being transported to 2023 and putting his foot in his mouth a lot) put a lot of people off, I ended up enjoying the new season of Clone High. The new clones grew on me as the season went on and their roles in the web of teen romance melodrama crystalized, and it made me laugh a lot, and Cleo/Frida is galaxy brained. Also they played one of my favorite Antarctigo Vespucci songs like a minute into the first episode. I don’t think I could really ask for much more.

6/28: The Mandalorian (Season 3) - I'd been watching this weekly but put off the last episode for no real reason. Responses to this season have been all over the place, but my blistering hot take is… it was fine. Is it as good as the first season? Probably not. But Mando no longer needs to carry the whole franchise on its shoulders and set the bar for how good the live action Disney Star Wars shows can be, because Andor exists, and it’s never gonna top Andor. The Mandalorian is free to just be a pulpy space adventure show where Giancarlo Esposito plays a scenery-chewing cartoon villain and a little puppet does wire stunts. These are things Andor cannot and should not do, but that’s Star Wars, baby. It’s delightful. I could watch Grogu get underhand tossed like a sack of flour all day.

July

7/2: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Season 2) - LOVE WINS. (More nuanced take from way later: It definitely feels like a lot of the more messy political conflicts in this show got swept aside by the big final battle where some more easily resolved family conflicts take center stage. I’m not sure the ending is the most satisfying. But also this show only got half the episode count that damn near every other Gundam show ever made got, so that might be a factor here. Idk. Still one of my favorite Gundams.)

7/4: Final Fantasy XVI (watched Anthony play) - I had to write my longest Medium article ever about this one because I was so frustrated

7/10: Home Movies - “Things I like that I’ve never seen in full” has certainly been a recurring theme this year. Home Movies remains an all-time classic of animated comedy that went out on a high note before things got stale or the characters became parodies of themselves. While it’s mostly known for its funny improvised banter, throughout the last season you can really see the arc where Brendon no longer enjoys making movies, yet he feels obligated to keep using them to escape from the real world. In that light, the ending where the nature of their dysfunctional makeshift family is cemented, Brendon’s camera suddenly breaks, and life moves on really does feel like the perfect note to end on. Truly one of the best to ever do it.

7/15: The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Wow. Just… wow. I had serious doubts about TotK in the months leading up to release due to how close Nintendo was playing their cards to their chest. I didn’t want this to be a Saints Row IV, where the game is fun enough but the recycled map makes it feel like a rehash. Instead, I found a game that made me look at BotW’s map in a whole new light, brimming with so many more things to do and people to meet. Add on a better, more versatile set of tools, more varied dungeons and bosses, and a story that I felt was told somewhat better and we’ve got a real contender for my new favorite Zelda game. It was hard to tear myself away, but as this list shows, it’s been basically the only game I’ve played since it came out.

7/16: Sonic Prime (Season 2) - I liked the parts with Shadow and Chaos Sonic, but I’ve come to the sad conclusion that most of this show is just mediocre. More thoughts here.

7/18: We ♥ Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie - “I’m a dog, but I love Katamari Damacy.” Truer words have never been spoken.

7/19: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - Pretty good! It didn’t blow me away, but after how bad the Bay movies got I’m just thankful to have a decently cohesive Transformers movie where the human story is okay and I like the bots (although half of them needed more screen time), even if it is just another Hollywood blockbuster about two sides fighting over a macguffin that devolves into a big CGI battle against an army of nameless monsters in the third act. This is basically a mid-tier MCU movie but with Transformers, which won’t do much for most people, but again: the bar was underground.

7/22: The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - God DAMN. A phenomenal ending for the series. While I would have loved to see a full final season to get some more one-off episodes in there, this doesn’t feel creatively compromised in any way–either due to the time constraints, or due to a desire to make it more marketable as a movie. It really does feel like they just took their outlines for the canceled final season and gently massaged them into the shape of an 84-minute movie, and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s completely on par with the previous seasons. A hilarious and fitting sendoff for one of the greats of adult animation.

7/23: Beautiful Katamari - This was one of my first Xbox 360 games, but a frustrating temperature-based level made me put it down for 16 years. “Maybe it won’t be as bad now that I’ve beaten the first two games and am better at Katamari,” I thought. Nope! Still an absolutely dogshit level. But also, turns out the whole game is only like two hours long lmao. It’s still Katamari, so it’s still fun - the final level in particular, which seamlessly takes you from ground level all the way to space, feels like a logical endpoint for the series - but beyond that it just doesn't have the same soul without Keita Takahashi's input.

August

8/4: Doom Singer (Chris Farren) - I’ve been waiting so long for Chris and Jeff to do another Antarctigo Vespucci album, but god damn. This is the best of Chris’s solo work, and a contender for his best record, period. Every track’s a banger, with more energy than some of his previous solo work but also a good deal of variety. Favorite tracks: First Place, Cosmic Leash

8/4: Transformers Earthspark (Season 1) - This show had a bit of an uneven start, unsure if it wanted to have the emotional maturity of a more serious action cartoon or a preschool cartoon where the characters have little kid mood swings and outbursts and learn basic lessons. It also felt like it was speedrunning its Wholesome Found Family Dynamic with characters who just met, which didn’t feel earned. While these problems never completely go away (see: the cheap and corny way the otherwise very dark season finale suddenly resolves), the show improves quickly, and the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s so great to have a Transformers cartoon that feels fresh, giving us a post-war setting with a bunch of new characters and new dynamics between the Cybertronians and the humans. The returning characters are also uniformly great as the old veterans overseeing the new generation. (Reformed Megatron! Danny Pudi as Bumblebee! Steve Blum returning as Starscream! Keith David as Grimlock!!!) And those super dynamic action scenes! I can nitpick, but Earthspark’s a ton of fun, and easily the best new Transformers cartoon since Prime and Animated.

8/5: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (remaster) - Everyone who told me this game was a masterpiece was right. I had played the first chapter when it dropped as the demo for the iOS version years ago, but never went further than that until now. What a game. Absolutely incredible through and through. Great story, great twists, great characters, great puzzles, great art direction. Everything comes together so perfectly to form a totally unique, unforgettable package, a top tier video game murder mystery. Everyone should play this, preferably going in as blind as possible.

8/15: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 16) - Wow! Recent seasons of Sunny have been kind of up and down, with some interesting experiments (Mac Finds His Pride, the Ireland arc, etc.) paired with some comedic duds. Most of this latest season is standard fare for the series with fewer big creative swings, but it’s just hit after hit in terms of comedy. Not a single dud, whether we’re seeing Mac and Dennis try to start a rental business for inflatable furniture or watching the gang meet Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, believing the entire time that the latter is Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Even the attempts at topical comedy landed better. Easily the funniest season in years.

8/16: One Piece Film Gold - It’s easy to see why this one has kind of been forgotten in the wake of Stampede and Film Red, which revolve around established fan favorite characters, but this was still pretty fun. Perhaps a little too long, but it’s fun to see the Straw Hats fool around in a giant casino and do a heist. They definitely cranked the fanservice up even more than usual in this one, though, as I probably should have expected for a movie made alongside the anime’s adaptation of Dressrosa.

8/17: One Piece: Stampede - This one goes for a different kind of fanservice. While most One Piece movies are isolated from the ongoing plot and its expanded cast of characters, Stampede instead asks “What if we just put damn near every active character on the same island and had them fight?” The answer: a fun time! It would get old if all of the movies were like this, but after a bunch of movies that are just like “the Straw Hats are gonna land on another new island and fight some more weird guys” it’s fun to see characters like Law and Buggy and Smoker get in on the fun. It’s also nice to get a movie with the Wano era art style, and Usopp surprisingly gets some really good character moments in here.

8/18: One Piece Film Red - This really is the best of the One Piece movies, huh? (Baron Omatsuri is a close second.) It really feels like a change of pace after the last four with the most interesting and emotionally engaging story out of any of them. And even if the events of these movies are never canon, it still feels significant in my understanding of Shanks as a character as we move into the final phase of the manga.

8/21: Pikmin 4 - The opening hour of the game made me really question if they’d changed too much, with all the focus on your new dog unit over your Pikmin and the extremely dull, drawn out dialogue scenes with your new companions back at the base. But once I got into the swing of things I had a blast. This is probably my new favorite Pikmin game. There’s a great mix of activities here to keep things fresh. I also really ended up liking Oatchi’s role as basically your second captain who can also serve as your tank or a rideable mount. The Dandori stuff and nighttime missions in particular show off how useful Oatchi is for your multitasking without necessarily overshadowing the Pikmin.

8/22: Never Get Tired: The Bomb the Music Industry! Story - I literally backed this on Kickstarter eight years ago (my name is in the credits!) and then never got around to watching it for no reason. It’s on YouTube now, and Jeff’s got a new album out next week, so now feels like the perfect time to watch it. And man… what a great documentary. Obviously I’m just a fan of the band, but this also really spoke to me as an artist. Jeff wanting to stick to his principles and give out his music for free and play cheap all ages shows, his discomfort over the idea of selling merch, and the struggles that come with not playing the game like that… It's hard. They readily admit that Jeff is an idealist, that people fight him on this stuff, that he’s missed out on some big opportunities because of these stances, and that he’s had to compromise a bit on some of these things over time. But that incredible climax with their final show, including a full opening performance of the slowly building “Campaign for a Better Next Weekend” and the closing performance of “Future 86” where the whole audience is singing along as the members of the band are hugging and crying… it’s beautiful. This may have been a band where the members had to go back to their shitty day jobs after every tour because they weren’t selling out arenas, but their art meant something to people, and that makes it all worth it.

8/25: Nimona - I haven’t read the original comic (yet), so I can’t compare them too much, but it’s nonetheless pretty apparent that some things were softened and easy kids’ movie jokes were added by the studio to squeeze this graphic novel for teens into a PG animated movie. Regardless, the emotional throughline hits REALLY hard, particularly the very blatant trans allegory and the climax. (It’s no wonder Disney was afraid of this movie seeing the light of day lmao.) The animation is also very squishy and fun to watch throughout. Great movie.

8/26: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Spider-Verse really has done so much for animation, huh? This one was as good as everyone said. Beautiful use of stylized color and lighting throughout, and every time this movie very conspicuously shifted to different framerates for a flashy fight scene it owned. Very cute and heartwarming story, too, which thankfully gave its second act plenty of time to explore the cast and let them go on their journey, unlike a certain plumber movie that came out a few months later. Also I would let Death [redacted]

8/28: Holocure: Save the Fans! - This isn't really something I can beat, but I've been addicted to Holocure lately. I don't even watch VTubers aside from maybe seeing a funny Korone animation every now and then, this is just a really, really good freeware Vampire Survivors clone with a huge roster of varied characters to pick from.

8/31: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock) - A new album from Jeff is always a major event for me. If there were any worries that he was starting to go soft at 40 (because one of the three singles off this album was a gentle acoustic piece), the frantic opening of this album put those worries to rest. The first two tracks are Jeff screaming out for help as he’s pulled in a million directions by the chaotic state of the world, a theme that becomes the thesis of the album. I’d say it lags slightly in the middle, but overall this is another extremely well-rounded record full of bangers that’s unapologetically Jeff, with possibly my favorite closing track he’s ever done. Favorite tracks: I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS

September

9/3: One Piece (live action, Season 1) - They did it. I can’t believe it, but they did it. While I have my nitpicks (Usopp and Sanji don’t get enough big moments to shine), this is an extremely solid and faithful adaptation of the first few arcs of One Piece with a great cast. For the most part the changes feel smart and logical, and the big emotional beats of the story are all there and executed very well. I doubted it a little in episodes 2-4, where the Orange Town and Syrup Village arcs saw some major changes to shift the action indoors, and the increased focus on the drama in favor of repeating every gag and battle from the manga 1:1 took a bit of getting used to, but by the end I was having a blast. It’s a different take on One Piece, but it still feels like One Piece. Genuinely very excited for season 2.

9/4: Pseudoregalia - A great little N64-style 3D Metroidvania focused on platforming and very satisfying movement. I always love entries in the genre that are less prescriptive in what order you have to tackle areas in, a la Symphony of the Night or Hollow Knight, and this one’s great in that regard. While there are a number of new moves to find, most of the map is open to you very early in the game, and smart use of your moveset can allow you to “sequence break” without even realizing it. (You would not believe how long I went without getting the wall run.) I do wish it had a map, but that’s already being patched in.

9/6: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk * - Not a bad game at all, but I quickly remembered how bad I am at skating games, so like… eh? Not sure I have much desire to play past chapter 2. Also the soundtrack is sadly kinda hit or miss for me outside of the obvious Naganuma tunes.

9/9: The History of the Minnesota Vikings (Dorktown) - Jon Bois never misses. Even as someone who doesn’t actively follow sports, Jon Bois is a master storyteller, using graphs and statistics and funny anecdotes to explore these deeply human stories. He can convey why people care so much about these teams, these people, and sports in general, and how our popular sports reflect on American culture. He could tell the story of just about any team or player in any sport and I just know I’ll come out the other side a misty-eyed fan. And what a fascinating cast of characters we have this time, with origin stories for everything from the Hail Mary pass to a Minnesota state supreme court judge to the Griddy. Nine hours well spent.

9/10: Timespinner - A fun and highly polished Metroidvania that maybe doesn’t quite have enough of its own identity in its quest to replicate Symphony of the Night…but also, like, this was pitched as a Symphony throwback on KickStarter in a pre-Bloodstained, pre-Hollow Knight world, so I can’t really blame ‘em! Stopping time to avoid boss attacks is fun, the pixel art is gorgeous, and I liked the dark science fantasy story about warring empires and meddling with time a lot more than I thought I would - lore journal text dumps and all.

9/14: The Decay of Sam & Cat (Quinton Reviews) - All the stuff at the end with Matt Bennett (the actor who played Robbie on Victorious and Sam & Cat) in this was really good and sweet. It’s that kind of thing that makes these videos feel like they’re still worthwhile on some level. But the padding and the things Quinton chooses to spend the colossal runtime on does drive me more and more insane with each passing Nick sitcom video. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this schtick up. I hope he’s able to move on to other things before too terribly long instead of continuing to extend this “miniseries.”

9/19: Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales - AKA Insomniac’s Marvel’s Spider-Man 1.5. It’s fun for the same reasons Peter’s first game was fun. I had a good time swinging around New York again in preparation for the sequel, and there’s a lot of cute stuff with Miles becoming Harlem’s neighborhood hero, but WOW did the Underground v. Roxxon conflict fall flat for me.

9/20: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - I understand so many posts now.

9/25: Spider-Man (2002) (rewatch) - It’s you who’s out, Gobby! OUT OF YOUR MIND!

9/25: Futurama (Season 8) - I was ready to be a hater, recalling the fact that Futurama has already had three “perfect endings” with the show getting a little weaker with every revival. Then I watched the first new episode on a whim and thought it wasn’t bad, so I was like, eh, sure, I’ll watch the rest. Overall Hulurama is hit or miss. There are chuckles to be had, and it sure as hell beats modern Simpsons, but almost every episode is either a belated take on an overplayed Topical Issue (the pandemic, Amazon, cancel culture, etc.) or a direct sequel to an old episode people liked. Or both! It’s also really noticeable that certain voice actors sound way older - Billy West is struggling with the Fry voice in particular, and it hurts his comedic timing. But just when all hope seemed lost after the nigh-incomprehensible toy-themed anthology episode, possibly the worst episode of the entire series… the last episode, where the Planet Express crew explores whether or not the universe could be a simulation, was really, really solid. Great note to end on to make me not regret my time with this season as a whole.

9/26: Spider-Man 2 (2004) (rewatch) - Once the GOAT, always the GOAT.

9/27: Spider-Man 3 (rewatch) - Revisiting this movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters… it’s not bad. It’s fine! It continues to have the heart and sincerity that make the first two movies work. It’s just not as concise with three villains vying for the spotlight, but I also wouldn’t cut any of them, necessarily. I guess Eddie/Venom would be the easiest, but Peter getting the black suit and giving in to his resentment feels too central to cut. (Yes, even with Emo Peter becoming a meme.)

9/28: Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake - I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, especially since I was never really a fan of the genderbend episodes in the original show. (At the time they mostly just felt like an excuse to crank up the teen romance stuff to 11.) But MAN. This was a fantastic coda to the original series. It made me care about Fionna and Cake and their friends as their own characters separate from their original counterparts, it gave the Simon/Betty arc a much more satisfying (if no less bittersweet) resolution than the original finale had time to do, and it even managed to be a multiverse story that didn’t make me roll my eyes in 2023. A+ all around. Makes me wanna rewatch the original show again. [spoiler: I did]

9/29: Meanwhile (aivi & surasshu) - It’s been a whole decade–they were busy with, you know, all the music in Steven Universe, among other things–but we finally have a new aivi & surasshu album! Their chiptune/piano fusion style is familiar, but they’ve definitely grown as composers in subtle ways. Favorite track: Time Travel

October

10/1: This is Financial Advice (Folding Ideas) - A lot of the nitty gritty finance law stuff turned into white noise for me, but still, great video. I had no idea that the GameStop stock craze devolved into this bizarre cult that thinks they’re going to crash the global economy and rise from the ashes as the new kings with the value of their GME stocks. Glad this video exists to try and balance out the narrative.

10/5: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon DLC - Good ideas, absurdly frustrating and tedious execution. Full thoughts here.

10/10: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (rewatch) - I didn’t plan this, but very fitting that I would end up rewatching this on 10/10.

10/12: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - ha he! (Seriously though, that finale was a fucking masterpiece. The RTVS crew has an incredible knack for using the framing device of video game livestreams to blur the lines between comedy and horror, or ironic anti-humor and complete sincerity. I’ve never seen anything else like this.)

10/15: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Not sure how much I can say that hasn’t already been said. The most visually creative movie I’ve ever seen, grounded by some really excellent storytelling about Miles (and now Gwen) that’s probably better than his actual comics. But it also does feel like it’s about to end and then the movie just keeps going like ten times over lmao. Can’t wait to watch this a second time on a better TV.

10/20: Sonic Superstars - A mostly really solid and fun 2D Sonic game that’s unfortunately dragged down by an extremely hodgepodge soundtrack and some overly drawn out boss fights. I spent HOURS trying to beat the final boss of the bonus scenario (which is required for the true ending in this one) before giving up. Really a shame that that’s the note I’m leaving the game on, because I otherwise enjoyed it, but ah well. More thoughts here.

10/27: Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 - Another good Spider-Man game from Insomniac. Liked the story more than the one in Miles Morales, but maybe not as much as the first game. Extensive thoughts here.

10/28: Venom - Was in the mood for more Venom after the game. As expected this was not a very good movie, but the dynamic between Eddie and Venom made it a fun watch. Tom Hardy is constantly about to shit his pants in this movie. It’s great.

10/28: Venom: Let There Be Carnage - I had a way better time with this one. Is this a good movie? No. But it cranks the insanity of the first movie up to 11. Goofy as fuck in an extremely watchable way.

November

11/5: Pluto - An absolutely masterful series that anyone interested in sci-fi needs to watch. The anime adaptation was great, and I immediately understand why people who’ve read the manga speak so highly of it. Really makes me want to get into Astro Boy more, and also read some of Urasawa’s other works.

11/18: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - Wow, just wow. When news of a Scott Pilgrim anime broke I was cautiously curious to see if we’d get a more direct adaptation of the comics, and instead it veered off in the exact opposite direction in the best way possible. This is almost entirely a different story, one that’s in conversation with the previous versions (sometimes in very meta ways), and I think it’s really valuable to see O’Malley revisiting these characters with new things to say about them. The major story divergence gives us a chance to examine the characters from a new angle - particularly Ramona, who’s the real protagonist of this version, and the evil exes, who completely steal the show. This was a great reminder of why I fell in love with this series as a teenager. I now genuinely hope we get more Scott Pilgrim.

11/22: Void Rivals (Issues #1 - #6) - The first arc of the new Robert Kirkman series that kicked off Skybound’s new “Energon Universe” is now complete, and I’m left thinking Void Rivals is… okay? I thought the first issue was a decent (if not particularly original) sci-fi comic with an appealing art style, which just so happens to also briefly have a Transformer in it so there can be a Big Surprise. And the series still hasn’t quite shaken that feeling to me. It’s an okay sci-fi series that arbitrarily dedicates a couple of pages of every issue to something from Transformers, but I’m not really sure what the shared universe stuff adds to Void Rivals, or what Void Rivals adds to Transformers and GI Joe. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

11/22: Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History (Defunctland) - Yeah, gotta be honest, I only got halfway through this one. It seems like Kevin just 1) really wanted to push himself creatively and 2) make a love letter to Epcot, and while I respect that, I think it suffers as a historical documentary. It’s Fantasia but for the creation of Epcot. That might be very impressive on a technical level, but it feels more like a piece of Disney propaganda than prior Defunctland videos due to a lack of context and nuance.

11/24: Aperture Desk Job - A short, sweet, and funny little tech demo for my new Steam Deck set in the Portal universe. More effort was definitely put into this than was strictly necessary.

11/26: ESCHATOS - I am not good at bullet hell games, but I enjoy them from time to time and I really love this one’s FM synth soundtrack, so I picked it up on a whim in the Steam sale. I only beat it on Easy, but still, I had a lot of fun with it! It’s straightforward but very flashy, with the camera dynamically zooming around from set piece to set piece at ridiculous speeds and each level segueing directly into the next. The lack of a powerup system on the main mode in favor of just needing to know when to use your different shot types makes it feel very approachable.

11/27: Lunistice - A great little 3D platformer with a good soundtrack that I had fun hunting down all the secrets in. This is an easy recommendation for fans of games like Kirby or Klonoa - whimsical games set in colorful dream worlds where the underlying story can get a bit more somber. (Although the story in this one is mostly told through mildly cryptic lore dumps, so your mileage there may vary.)

11/28: Spark the Electric Jester 2 - The leap from 2D to 3D here is impressive, but this is very clearly a rough draft for Spark 3. Very, very fun Sonic-style 3D platforming, but the combat is lacking and the storytelling is just kinda bad. More extensive thoughts on this and the above two games here.

December

12/2: Fortnite (Chapter 4) - This was my first full chapter of Fortnite, after having been roped into the game by the siren songs of Zero Build mode and Goku during Chapter 3. This means it’s harder for me to compare this chapter to previous ones, but still, Fortnite remains a genuinely very well made Battle Royale shooter that’s a blast with friends. If I have any complaint about this Chapter, it’s that they would regularly introduce zany ideas and then slowly reel them back in, whether it was the Augment system or the increasingly mundane movement items. It also felt like it was a little too easy to get the perfect loadout in every match, meaning the final showdown would almost always be against players with Slurp Juice and gold shotguns. And I missed the smaller mid-season map updates of Chapter 3. But overall I still had a really good time, and look forward to playing more for the foreseeable future.

12/4: Plagiarism and You(Tube) (HBomberguy) - This will get written off by many as “YouTuber drama,” but this really is an excellent video essay that feels like the kick in the pants that YouTube needs. If video essayists are gonna be a major source of information for so many, then they gotta have standards. I also think it does a good job of highlighting the people that have been plagiarized and trying to drive more attention their way in an attempt to right those wrongs.

12/6: Transformers (Skybound comic) - We only got the first three issues of this in 2023, but I just HAVE to say something about how incredible this series is here. Daniel Warren Johnson is knocking it out of the park. This is the new bar for Transformers. The hand-inked art is extremely dynamic and full of character, and the story is using the familiar beats of G1 Transformers but doing very new things with them. You can tell this from the very first page, but the emotional scene of Optimus accidentally crushing a deer in the forest and realizing how fragile life is on Earth sealed the deal for me. And yet in the very same comics Optimus can do suplexes and clotheslines and lord knows how many other wrestling moves on Decepticons, and it doesn’t feel like tonal whiplash? These comics just fucking rule, and anyone with even the slightest interest in Transformers should be reading them.

12/8: What We Do in the Shadows (Season 5) - [spoilers] WWDITS has very much settled into being a status quo show. Every season has its own little arc where one or two things change to keep things interesting, but then everything returns to normal by the end. Guillermo finally becoming a vampire, only to become a human again in the end, might just be the most egregious example of this yet. But also… the show’s still really funny? And I continue to be happy that Kristen Schaal has stuck around as a series regular as the Guide. So it’s hard to complain. I could see the show running out of steam over the next few seasons, but it’s still hitting for me right now.

12/12: Pony Island - Finally got around to this since the trailer for the sequel dropped. I feel like playing this years later in a post-Inscryption world where Pony Island is a known quantity kind of lessens its impact, but still, it’s a fun and funny puzzle game where you try to hack your way out of a possessed arcade machine. I’m not sure I found it particularly scary, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be? The way the game messes with you during the Asmodeus “boss fight” was probably the highlight for me. I also like being able to say things like “The part where you have to not kill Jesus was so hard. I kept getting terrible butterfly patterns.”

12/16: Breaking Bad VR but the AI is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - As always, Wayne and co.’s commitment to the bit is unrivaled. This kind of got interpreted as just a way to troll HLVRAI fans, but so many moments in this genuinely made me laugh out loud.

12/18: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude - As someone who would list Cucumber Quest as a big creative influence, I was naturally very excited for this first chapter of GGDG’s new visual novel. Their mentality of both scaling things back in terms of labor while also going more shamelessly self-indulgent in terms of storytelling after burning out on making webcomics has really spoken to me, and WOW, the end result of that new process of theirs is shaping up to be something really special. The art and music are sparse but extremely evocative, giving you the rough sketch of the world and letting your mind fill in the rest. The story blends literary high fantasy vibes with the style of fantasy seen in ‘90s JRPGs (you can definitely tell this came from an idea for an RPG), but rather than constantly winking at the audience and making self-aware video game references it plays these storytelling ideas extremely sincerely, giving them real dramatic weight while still indulging in fun tropes to their fullest extent. While it’s a far cry from their most famous work with much more mature content, GGDG always excels at creating characters and worlds that immediately grab me. I can’t wait for the rest.

12/18: Barbie - I’m only… what, five months late for the whole Barbenheimer thing? Perfect timing. Anyway! On the one hand, I get the critiques saying that this movie is just a major corporation funding a self-aware feminist critique of their own product as a marketing ploy. And I kinda agree with that. And the movie is a little too long, and I don’t really know what to think of the way the Barbie/Ken conflict plays out. Anthony asked me to summarize what the story ended up being about, and I had no idea what to even say. But also… I did still like the movie? We don’t get a lot of cartoonish, absurdist, fourth wall breaking comedies like this anymore, and this is a good one of those. Also the whole cast is great, the set design is kind of stunning, and the cinematography is consistently appealing. I wouldn’t say it’s a revolutionary work of feminist filmmaking by any stretch, but it’s a good comedy movie.

12/21: Dr. Stone: New World - Man, Dr. Stone is great. I’ve said this many times, but I just love that this series uses all the trappings of shounen that would normally be used to hype up the protagonist learning a new move to instead hype up things like the protagonist building a loom or a hot air balloon. It’s shounen Bill Nye. I didn’t completely love everything about the Treasure Island arc this season, but it all built towards a really fun climax with a lot of satisfying turnabouts where the heroes use their ingenuity to just barely win.

12/23: The History of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out World Records (Summoning Salt) - Truly one of my favorite Summoning Salt videos ever, even with how repetitive Punch-Out can get to watch. It’s just so hard to beat “and that runner… was me.”

12/24: Super Mario Bros. Wonder - What more can be said that hasn’t already been said? It’s the best and most creative 2D Mario game since the ‘90s. The only real flaws are that it’s a little easy, the Search Party stages are annoying in singleplayer, and I wish that every boss prior to the final boss wasn’t just some form of Bowser Jr. fight. But those aren’t nearly enough to drag the whole experience down. It was a blast.

12/24: Do a Powerbomb! - Got this from Anthony as a birthday present. This is the previous series by the creative team currently doing the new Transformers comics I was gushing about a few entries ago. Even with the high bar set by those comics, Do a Powerbomb! exceeded my expectations. Holy shit. An absolutely entrancing fantasy wrestling miniseries full of dynamic, energetic action and tons of heart. These comics where a guy wrestles a giant talking orangutan almost made me cry. Twice. An instant favorite.

12/25: Adventure Time (rewatch) - We ended up finishing our rewatch of Adventure Time (the main series, anyway) on my 30th birthday, which feels appropriate. I already kinda knew this, but this rewatch has truly confirmed that Adventure Time is my favorite TV series of all time. The entire show is even better on a full series rewatch. In hindsight, even parts that annoyed me when they aired end up being important parts of the beautiful tapestry that is this series. The many low points of Finn’s adolescent love life are important stepping stones in his growth as a person, which leaves him in an extremely satisfying place by the end. Jake having kids didn’t get to be a huge status quo change because they grew up instantly, but then they did a bunch of fun episodes about Jake’s relationships with his adult children that deepened him as a character. And most of the big lore questions they kept teasing over the years (“Where’d the humans go?” “Who are Finn’s parents?” “When’s Finn gonna get a robot arm?” etc.) ended up getting satisfying and creative answers, because the show left itself the room to figure those things out later. This is a truly special, one-of-a-kind series, one that lasted nearly 300 episodes and yet still seems like it was over too soon. And yes, I did in fact cry during the final montage, like I knew I would. I will always cherish this show with all of my heart.

12/25: Olive the Other Reindeer (rewatch) - Haven’t seen this one since I was a kid! It was a favorite of mine back then, and while it might not be quite as funny as I remember it’s still very cute, with a 2D/3D hybrid art style that remains very unique and appealing. As an adult I can also appreciate the cast they got for this, with like half the cast of Futurama bolstered by guests like Michael Stipe from REM and The Sopranos’ Joe Pantoliano.

12/26: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Anthony and I capped off our Christmas with the most jolly and festive stop motion movie of all! Jokes aside, man, what a beautiful movie. The animation is immaculate, and we really just don’t get children’s animated films like this anymore. Ones that overtly feature real world politics and religion and so many other dark themes in a way that doesn’t talk down to kids or sugarcoat things. This one hits hard. We need more movies like this.

12/31: Oppenheimer - This was an interesting one. Despite being three hours, the way that first hour jumps around in time makes it feel like Oppenheimer is constantly being propelled forward through life at a breakneck pace, swept up by the rising tide of nationalism in spite of his personal left wing politics, never really reflecting on what he’s doing until it’s too late. Then when he’s no longer useful to the empire, he’s chewed up and spat out, only to eventually be honored as a national hero as a symbolic gesture. It’s a compelling story. However, I’m a little torn on how certain aspects of history were framed. Does the abstraction of the bombings detract from the true weight of those events, in favor of sympathizing with the man who built the bomb? Or is it clever a way to show how the realities of the war were compartmentalized away by people who were complicit in its most heinous acts of violence? One minute a bunch of physicists are talking theory, thousands of miles away from the theaters of war, and the next they’ve killed 200,000 people. So which is it? Eh, probably somewhere in the middle, I guess. But I liked it overall.

12/31: Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe - I’ve been really surprised by how good this rerelease is. It kind of flew under the radar for me. I liked the original game, but at the time it also almost felt like the New Super Mario Bros. of Kirby. It was a straightforward throwback game where you went through a grass world, then a desert world, then a water world, etc., and also they added four player co-op. But returning to this one after the kinda mid Star Allies has made me appreciate just how solid RtDL is as a Kirby game. I really like the updated graphics, too - yes, even the new cel shaded outlines around the characters - even though I didn’t think it looked that great in screenshots. Also the two new copy abilities (Sand and Mecha) are fun, the minigame collection is shockingly fleshed out to the point that they could’ve sold it as a standalone eShop game, the collectible character masks are fun, and the new epilogue mode where you play as Magolor is one of the coolest bonus modes they’ve ever done. This is a top tier Kirby remake any fan of the series should check out.

Ongoing things I followed in 2023 that don't have a blurb:

Halo Infinite multiplayer

IDW Sonic the Hedgehog (main series + specials)

One Piece

Chainsaw Man

My Hero Academia (not caught up)

The JOJOlands (not caught up)

Things I started in 2023 that I still need to finish:

Freedom Planet 2

Hi-Fi Rush

Live A Live

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Picross 3D Round 2

Rhythm Heaven MegaMix

Mega Man Battle Network 5: Team ProtoMan

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Spark the Electric Jester 3

Sonic Dream Team

One Piece (Wano arc, anime)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (I’ve already read the Shibuya arc already in the manga, though)

Astro Boy (2003 anime)

Futurama (original run rewatch)

One Piece (manga reread)

The Amazing Spider-Man (Lee/Ditko era)

Scott Pilgrim series (reread)

And finally... my favorites of 2023!!!

Overall favorite game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Favorite indie game: Pseudoregalia

Games remastered in 2023 that are now among my all-time faves: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, We Love Katamari

Most pleasant surprise in gaming: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite live action show: Barry

Favorite anime: Pluto

Favorite anime written by a Canadian guy and an American guy based on the Canadian guy's old graphic novel series: Scott PIlgrim Takes Off

Favorite live action adaptation of an anime that I still can't believe they didn't fuck up: One Piece

Favorite Western cartoon: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake

Favorite older cartoon I only got around to watching in its entirety this year: The Venture Bros.

Favorite documentary: Double Fine PsychOdyssey

Favorite semi-improvised semi-scripted absurdist comedy/horror/tragedy Twitch livestream performance art thing: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware finale (wayneradiotv)

Favorite manga: Chainsaw Man

Favorite older manga that I only read this year: Berserk

Favorite Western comic book: Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers

Favorite album: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock)

And that's a wrap!!!!! Happy new year, everyone! Here's to me maybe actually reading a goddamn book this year

#bobby writes #i don't have a writing tag so i'm making one now to save this and other things

282 notes · View notes

rinslutz · 2 years

Text

mine ༄ sugar daddy!suna

warnings: choking, rough sex, unprotected sex, biting (only a lil),

every second that suna’s attention isn’t completely on you it feels like your dying.

he invited you to attend an engagement party for his best friend, atsumu. though the way you’ve been sitting in the corner pouting for two hours, it would seem like you came along.

maybe that’s why a nice-looking guy comes over and takes a seat next to you. his jet black hair frames his face nicely. his features are sharp and his eyes twinkle with a sort of playfulness.

“hey beautiful.”

his eyes dart up and down your body before settling on your chest. in a usual setting, this would make you extremely upset, unfortunately, this is the most attention you’ve got all night.

his lips curl into an awkward smile. you’ve never seen him before which is surprising because you've been to enough of these parties to know everyone in this circle. despite his very obvious nervousness, he’s cute.

your eyes quickly dart across the room to suna who still isn’t paying any attention to you. he lets out a low chuckle at something the pretty woman next to him says. you roll your eyes in annoyance before looking back at the man next to you.

bitter and annoyed about suna you hatch a plan that is sure to work, if only suna were to give you a second of his attention. usually his eyes are glued to yours. you can only conclude that the woman he’s talking to has distracted him.

you slide closer to him, leg touching his. you wrap one hand around his bicep. he is actually quite muscular. he goes stiff under your touch. his eyes travel down to the hand that rests around his bicep and his eyes instantly widen.

“i-i um i think i should go.”

his voice is shaky and barely above a whisper. his eyes are still locked on your hand. for a moment you think he’s nervous because you’re touching him. realization hits you when the shine of your bangle hits your eye.

the silver bangle is engraved with the name “suna”. it slipped your mind that you were even wearing it. of course, the guy knows who suna is and now knows that you belong to him.

“y/n.”

you don’t dare look at the owner of the voice, already know who it is. you can see him in the corner of you eye, hand in his pockets, a stern look on his face.

it’s bittersweet really. you’ve managed to get his attention, but by the look on his face, you’re definitely in for it. without another word, he holds out his hand towards you. you reluctantly remove your hand from the guy's arm and place it in suna’s warm hand.

he helps you to stand up and his arm instantly wraps around your waist. he pulls you flush against his side, the grip on your waist almost painful.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

you sarcastically chuckle at his stern voice. at this point, you’re just trying to get him more riled up. maybe if he’s fuming with anger he’s fuck you as hard as you want him to without having to hear him whine about not wanting to hurt you.

“well, you were obviously having lots of fun with that woman over there. so, i decided to have a bit of fun myself.”

suna doesn’t say another word as he leads you out of the party. the walk back to his jet-black bmw is completely silent. though, the grip he has on your waist does not let up. with his free hand, he reaches in his pocket to grab his keys and unlock his doors.

you start to pull away but he pushes you up against the driver's side door. before you can form a coherent thought, his lips are on yours. you melt into the harsh kiss. his hands are placed on your hips, his fingertips lightly digging into your sides.

“don’t do shit like that.” he grumbles into the kiss.

you wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. he messily kisses you, your teeth clanking against each others.

he abruptly pulls away from the kiss. the jealousy still burns in his eyes as he yanks open the back seat door.

“get in and lay down.” his voice is rough and almost holds no emotion.

you do as you’re told. you lie flat on his cold leather seats. you’re already extremely uncomfortable but you push through it. you push your thighs to your chest, making room for him as he climbs in after you.

he hovers above you, his eye contact sends shivers down your spine. he doesn’t usually get this mad, only when it’s about you with another man which is rare.

he snakes his hands up your dress on either side of your thighs. he yanks your underwear down your legs, slightly ripping them on one side. he watches as your wetness sticks to your underwear.

“no, these are my favorite.” you whine.

he wordlessly moves his hands to his pants, unzipping them and yanking them down along with his underwear mid-thigh. his dick springs free, the tip leaking and an angry red. he grabs you by your thighs and yanks you towards him. you yelp in surprise.

suna’s fingernails dig into the soft plush of your thighs as he drives his cock into your pussy. the familiar sensation makes your legs quiver. you attempt to squeeze your legs together around him, his thickness already becoming too much. you thought you would be used to how big he is by now. no matter how many times he’s fucked you he always catches you by surprise.

he lets out a low moan as he sinks deeper into you. he pulls out and slams back into you without warning. you choke out a moan, tears immediately spring to your eyes. you wrap your hands around his, which rests on your thighs. he shakes his hands from yours and reaches up to your neck. he wraps both hands around your neck, squeezing firmly.

he picks up speed. he thrust harsh enough to make your breast jump.

“you’re fucking mine. don’t want anyone to touch you but me.” he finally speaks up.

you choke out a moan in response. the loud slapping of his thighs against the backs of your fill the car. you didn’t park in a private area and if any owner of the cars next to you were to come to their car they would definitely see you.

he moves one hand from your neck and grabs your chin. he angles your face up to his. your glossy eyes meet his.

“whose are you?”

“yours. only yours.” your voice is strained. the hold he still has on your neck restrains your voice.

his harsh thrusts only pick up speed after your reply. he bends his face down towards yours. he pulls your face toward him by your chin. he catches your lips in a tear-covered kiss. you moan deeply in his mouth. your legs begin to get weak as you get closer to cumming.

“please.”

“promise me you’ll never let another man touch you.” his voice is sharp but you can hear a sprinkle of pain. he must actually be hurt by what he saw, but you were too.

“i promise,” you mumble against his lips.

he pulls away and begins to speed up again. you can barely contain your moans, your legs continue quivering, and your body jerks as you both cum. he’s breathless as he pulls out of you. his cum spills out, covering his leather seats under you. you both sit up in silence, trying to catch your breath.

“i’m sorry. i just didn’t like seeing you talking with that woman.” you finally speak up.

he silently pulls you against him, your head rests on his sweaty shirt. he lifts your chin with the tip of his finger. he presses a warm kiss to your lips.

“do i spend all my money on her? do i worship the group she walks on? do i care about her with all of my heart? no. she doesn’t matter. but you, you are my everything.”

taglist: (open)

@wolffmaiden @gojoanti @rntrsuna @osamuplanet @have-no-life @kiossshy @luna-vitae-suae @adeawn @celcero @oikawa-bubs @marinarihearts @bunnyfevers @venus-heat @ietss @euryale16 @ioverjn @marinarihearts @kiossshy @satoru-nii @afcangie @chloee0x0 @ochakoakabane @pelicanpizza @dakumarauder @awkwardaardvarkforever

#im not too happy with this #sugar daddy!suna #suna rintaro smut #suna rintaro x reader #suna smut #suna rintaro #hq suna #suna x you #suna x reader #haikyuu suna #suna rintarō #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro fluff #suna rintarou #suna fluff #haikyuu smut #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #suna rintaro x female reader

1K notes · View notes

covenofthearticulate · 13 days

Text

20 Qs for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on A03? 22

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 134,415

3. What fandoms do you write for? Vampire Chronicles, plus a few Umbrella Academy pieces

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? La mort dans dentelle (Death in Lace), Pink, An Aching Pulse in Search of a Home, and Bright Star. (Basically, all the fics that I no longer really like, that I wrote pre-hiatus in like 2018 that have been up on AO3 the longest so statistically have the most kudos just from age LOL)

5. Do you respond to comments? I really really try to!!! Most of the time I get really overwhelmed though like YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE LMAO so just saying "Thank you!" doesn't feel like enough and I get really nervous about not seeming grateful so it takes me approximately 10 years to reply to comments. I try to catch up every couple of months, though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm sorry I love angst, but I am one of those writers who likes to have a satisfying emotional wrap-up at the ends of my fics so honestly most of them end on a sweet note. The closest thing is maybe les rousseurs amères de l'amour which was still soft, but definitely bittersweet.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? aksdjfhcabdsfk they all have happy endings bc I am a sucker and a sap!!! Home Court Advantage is definitely the silliest fluffiest ending though :)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only if you count the comments that compliment my writing as being in-character for the tv show characters LOL (seriously one time someone commented that they could hear Jacob Anderson's voice come through in my dialogue and I had to go lie down lmfao)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? These days I mostly write smut LOL but even in the pwp pieces I see most of my smut as opportunities for character building, so most of my work tends to fall into the Smut With Feelings category lmfao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I don't write crossover fic anymore, but back when I was crazy active on my rp accounts, I wrote hella crossover! It was moreso on the Umbrella Academy side than my VC side, but I did have some fun rp threads between Louis and Philippe D'Orleans (specifically the tv Versailles version lmao).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge! Please don't do that!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Once upon a time, baby High School Ash co-wrote an insane crossover fic with a friend I had met through tumblr. It was Barnabas Collins (from Tim Burton's Dark Shadows) x Mrs. Lovett. I feel so brave for admitting this LOL I really truly was so emotionally invested in that fic and it's so cringe-worthy but I had fun and that's what matters!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I mean. I'm a Loustat girlie through and through LOL but I also love Louis with Armand, or in any configuration of any of the poly ships! As long as Louis is there, you can count me in.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Maybe one of the Louis/Lestat/Armand pieces I started....I love the 3 of them but I get burnt out so quickly because all 3 characters are so complex and so everything feels like an Ordeal with them because they're all very opinionated and only work in a certain dynamic if that makes sense!

16. What are your writing strengths? I think the thing I'm most proud of is my lyrical prose! I like writing sentences that just punch you in the face with feeling! I want my writing to feel evocative, I want the words and details to stick in your head and rattle around.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I wish I had better stamina and pacing to write longer pieces LMAO like honest to god it's looking like my next fic is gonna be around 9k-10k and it really truly felt like I was going to die writing it LOL it's taken me like 2 months and it has felt like pulling teeth the entire time. For someone who likes writing, I sure wish I liked writing more asdsfkfjghdxghn

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Like Kacy said, if it's done well and adds to the world of the fic, then sure! I'm definitely guilty of this trope, but I try to reserve it for the really high-stakes moments so that the language lands differently and is more impactful. But I also think dialogue (and even certain dialects) in different languages have the power to do more harm than good. Like, as a reader, I know that if I see a line of something in a language I can't read, the first thing I'm going to have to do is open another browser tab to google translate, and then go back and read it in context again, and by that time the flow is disrupted and everything is off and it's just hard!!

19. First fandom you wrote for? ooooh girl you should've seen some of the spicy Sweeney Todd fic I was hand-writing in my notebooks in high school. Actually it was more psychological angst than smut but LOL listen I'm a ride or die Mrs. Lovett girlie, what can I say.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I think in the grand scheme of things, Air Catcher will always have a special place in my heart. It was one of those rare lightning in a bottle instances where the idea came to me so suddenly and so clearly, and the concept felt so obvious I was like "SURELY someone has written this already???" but then I checked and NOPE no one as far as I was aware had written about vampire top drop, and so I just fucking went to town with that fic. It was among some of the first writing I'd done since coming out of hiatus, and to this day I think it's the only fic I've ever written where the end product was exactly what I had envisioned and hoped it would be. That fic was a gift from god to me LOL and it'll be one year old this summer! wild!!!!

Tagged by: @monstersinthecosmos <3 Tagging: adkjhfbcjhdsb once again I feel like all my fic-writing friends have been tagged by this point but PLEASE if you're reading this, do it and say I tagged you <3

#my writing #vc fic #this was fun! thanks for the tag!!

8 notes · View notes

animehouse-moe · 11 months

Text

Skip and Loafer Episode 10: Scrambling and Dripping

Well, with The Sound of Music as the background, we finally begin to explore Shima's character in proper. Flashbacks to childhood, repressed feelings and thoughts, and resolutions and progression that drives his current self forward. There's certainly a lot going on, and a lot to share!

We start the episode off with Chris himself laying into Shima for his issues, which I thought was a nice touch. Without his friend, Shima probably wouldn't have made the progress he did this episode, nor would he have opened up near as much to his friends.

But before that I just wanted to muse over this layout. I thought it was really fun and cute at expressing the differences between Shima and Chris. It does so through stuff like the ice cream vs drink, but also the differences in their posture, the style of their uniform, and even their bags. I just thought it was interesting and a fun little piece to add that gives Chris his own personality.

Anyways, the line in question from Chris. I particularly like how he phrases it in terms of acting, almost to rub a bit more salt in the wound of Shima in regards to the issue.

Following up their diner conversation though is one that happens outdoors, which I find far more interesting. I really like how they show Chris to not be some perfect friend that has all the right words for Shima, but rather that he stumbles around and has thoughts that exist from his own point of view, like this one. It's not so much as he's confusing Shima's experience as a child actor, but that he sees it from a different perspective. Shima was also so happy and excited to be able to put that smile on his mother's face, and Chris picks up on that enjoyment from a different angle than the chains that Shima imposes on himself.

And then there's whatever this was. Absolutely caught me off guard and got a laugh out of me. The perfect ending to a chat between blossoming high school boys for sure.

We swiftly move from Shima and Chris' conversation to a montage of the prep for the festival, and while it's pretty well typical with what you'd expect, I liked this one little moment. All the other groups featured are chatting or saying something when they're on screen, but the pair that are in charge of the budget are totally silent. Really simple piece, but I got a good little laugh of it.

The montage wraps up just as quick as it comes in, and we get whisked away to the world of The Sound of Music for an explanation of the plot. Not really anything to write home about, but I really liked the art style they used for it. It's still in tune with the overall color and character designs and stuff, but provides just the right amount of artistic edge to separate it.

Anyways, they explain the story, they do a little musical piece as an example for viewers, and then they press onwards. I really like how they follow the camaraderie and excitement shared by the rehearsal with Mitsumi's isolation behind the scenes. The other students are smiling and working together, while Mitsumi stands idly in the background. She herself even wishes to be a part of what her class is doing this year, which creates a bittersweet yearning for her inclusion.

Now, I did say this was an episode about Shima, but here I am talking about Mitsumi? Well, that's because it's important in regards to how Shima reflects on a flashback that follows Mitsumi's scene here. I think it's a really important flashback in how things are shown, because through it all, we only ever see the smiles on Shima and his mother's faces. Every other emotion from anybody in that scene is otherwise hidden, and tells viewers a different story than what it is exactly that Shima experiences and feels when reliving that moment.

The flashback comes and goes, and so does Mitsumi in a whirlwind of outside of school work. She ends up missing her morning meeting, which the people involved assure her they're not worried about in the slightest.

But this is high school, and these kids don't know better.

I think it's a really great piece for both ends. The important message of course being, you never know how hard someone's trying. These two girls who are only in charge of the play, have no idea of the weight that Mitsumi carries around for their sake. And rather than hash out their concern or challenges (or just be more accepting) they choose to talk about her after the fact.

It's not bullying, but it's one of those pieces of high school life where people that haven't given anything up don't understand what others have done. Sympathy runs dry with those types of characters, and it's plain to see how here. It's not that they're being terrible towards Mitsumi because she missed their meeting, but they're talking poorly of her because of things that they don't understand. It's a very naïve thought to have, and drives home the selfishness of characters like that in a very straightforward way.

We don't dwell on this moment for long though, as Shima once more uses Mitsumi as his crutch for introspection. Seeing himself in her reflection, in his perceived fragility of Mitsumi, he begins to explore himself more and more. And through the flashback this time, we begin to piece things together more and more.

Shima doesn't particularly like acting, we know that as a "truth" from present Shima. But his mother doesn't see it like that. The pair form a positive feedback loop, where Shima's acting is meant to make his mother happy, and his mother's smile and love is what spurs Shima on to continue with acting. This time, we see that they're not wearing those smiles on their faces, but Shima's not currently acting. Once he does though, that light returns to the pair of them.

In contrast to this happy memory of acting bringing Shima and his mother joy, he moves onto placing himself in the shoes of his role in The Sound of Music, the gardener Johan. While not anything new or really exceptional from Shima at this point in the series, I think it's an important piece in how he views himself and the world he exists in. That his happiness is not his own, and that the only pieces of himself that are truly him are the negative aspects.

Even though he buys Mitsumi a drink and chats with her to lighten her mood. Even if he dances with her to get a laugh out of her. Even if he chooses to be in the play because his friends ask him to. Shima is incredibly adept at ignoring those positive aspects of himself, and instead places them on Mitsumi, atop a pedestal that remains far away from his reach.

But I'll explain that in a bit, look at this incredibly cute clip.

Alright, cute song and dance finished, back to what I was saying. What a hugely important even to follow up this little sequence. Once more, we find ourselves in that pathway/outdoor hallway from an earlier episode, but with the roles reversed. This time, it's not Shima leaving Mitsumi behind, but it's Mitsumi leading the way for Shima. Such an important piece of symbolism and progression for him. He's not hiding a "secret" or being a shallow friend to Mitsumi. He's bearing his heart to this girl, and in turn Mitsumi is guiding Shima towards his happiness and the acceptance of himself and his past. That pedestal still exists, but even if it's only ever so slightly, Shima feels like he's gotten closer to reaching Mitsumi.

And then there's this piece as well, if that visual wasn't enough.

And this is where the episode leaves us, as the students work tirelessly to bring their ambitions towards reality. It's a really great piece that doesn't neglect the great world around Shima, but also doesn't try too hard to represent it. This is his episode, and they want us to know that. They want us to focus on the childhood memories and trauma that chains him within, of the guilt and repression and justification he uses to exist how he does currently.

But they also want to show us how far he's come. How much he cares for another person, how much he wants to be happy and have the life that he wants. That he wants to work towards standing alongside Mitsumi, rather than leaving her behind or forcing her to guide him. It's just really really well done, and delivers on the storyline we've had since day 1. It's not finished yet, not by a mile, but we're getting progress and getting to see Shima start to want to grow.

#skip and loafer #skip to loafer #スキップとローファー #iwakura mitsumi #mitsumi iwakura #shima sousuke #sousuke shima #anime review #anime recommendation #anime and manga #anime #romcom anime

30 notes · View notes

kamreadsandrecs · 11 months

Photo

Title: Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi) Vol. 5 Author: Mo Xiang Tong Xiu Genre/s: danmei, xianxia, historical, horror, fantasy, queer romance, romance Content/Trigger Warnings: physical and emotional abuse, rape (mentioned), body horror, death, violence Summary (from publisher’s website): Foes, allies, and one reassembled fierce corpse converge on the Guanyin Temple for a climactic showdown. With decades-long schemes finally unveiled, and dark secrets unearthed, the events of this rain-battered night will decide not just the fate of the entire cultivation world–but also that of a love story two lifetimes in the making. Also included are eight short stories that focus on the future and the past. From magical incense burners to tense banquets, to lotus-pod hunting and nighttime expeditions with the juniors, these stories span from dawn to dusk and so much more! Buy Here: https://sevenseasentertainment.com/books/grandmaster-of-demonic-cultivation-mo-dao-zu-shi-novel-vol-5/ Spoiler-Free Review: So I’ve had this last volume for a while now, but it took me some time to get to it because life and work and blah blah blah. But now I’m finished reading it, and WHOO BOY WAS IT A RIDE! First of all, it was nice to read how everything was finally, FINALLY wrapped up - not always happily or tidily, but in a way that made sense, given everything that had already happened in the previous four volumes. I will admit that the final unraveling of the villain’s schemes and motivations was a bit info-dumpy, given how it was all set up, but at the same time I don’t really know how else all of that could have been revealed in a more subtle way without doing so in another four or five chapters, so all in all it’s not so bad. But what this volume focuses on is a theme that tracks across the entire series: the cyclical nature of vengeance. While that cycle is now closed (or is it?) for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, the ending shows that the cycle can potentially continue. I can’t really talk about the details because it would be a MASSIVE spoiler to do so, but regardless: I find it interesting that it’s mostly Wei Wuxian who notices what’s going on with the character in question, and it is his musings that point all of this out to the reader. After all, he was a major contributor to the momentous events that led to this ending: events that, when you really get down to it, sprang from someone, somewhere, wanting to avenge themselves on a person, or people, or the entire world. I also find the inconclusiveness of the cycle’s perpetuation in the form of a certain character to be very interesting too. I know some people might find this annoying or frustrating, but I’m not the sort of reader who expects every single plot thread to be tied up in a nice bow, so I’m honestly fine with the way this particular thread has been left up to the reader’s imagination. Will that character go on to perpetuate tragedy in the same way the series’ primary villain did? Or will they take a different path? Will that path be more or less wicked, more or less tragic? No one can say, because the author’s declined to write that story, and it’s up to the readers to decide whether or not this character will turn out for better, or for worse - though I’m sure there are fanfic writers who’ve got ideas of their own, and are probably churning out epics as I write this. Speaking of extra writing, the Extras included in this volume were lovely to read. Now that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji FINALLY know how they feel for each other (after the intervention of OTHER CHARACTERS, it must be noted), the Extras show what life’s like for them in the wake of everything that’s gone before. The tone taken is mostly bittersweet, but there’s plenty of spice there too. If the one spicy scene in Volume 4 was just a little taste of what could happen between these two characters, then the Extras in this volume show ALL THE OTHER THINGS they get up to after the main story’s ending. But the Extras aren’t all just smutty scenes (though there are those too). In fact, my favorite stories are the ones where the plot is built around a Night Hunt, and Wei Wuxian and/or Lan Wangji and/or the Lan juniors try to get to the bottom of it. I’m very fond of mysteries, and even more fond of those with supernatural/urban fantasy leanings, and these specific Extras really hit the right notes for me in that regard. It was also an interesting bit of worldbuilding, in that the reader gets insight into how “regular” Night Hunts work, as compared to the very grand and dangerous ones that were featured in the main story. Overall, this volume was a great wrap-up for this epic and emotional series. The current cycle of vengeance has come to an end for most of the characters involved, but whether or not it’s ended for good is up in the air, given what happens with a certain character during this volume. But in the space between the ending of this cycle and the beginning of the next, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji get to have the best fate of all: time to build a life with each other and their loved ones. After everything that’s happened to them, I can’t think of a better ending for them both. Rating: four lotus pods

#book review #book reviews #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #mo xiang tong xiu #mdzs #mxtx #danmei #xianxia #fantasy #mystery #horror #queer romance #romance #books #historical

6 notes · View notes

sitp-recs · 1 year

Note

I'm always so nostalgic for the aideomai, galla, warmfoothills, seefin type fics ykwim?? Those fics that are poignant and hard-hitting with a nice emotional payoff. It's like they've thrown you into freezing water before wrapping you in a blanket and warming you up. Sometimes I'm sad that my favorite writers have stopped writing/gone on breaks but that's always overshadowed by how overwhelmingly grateful I feel that I can even experience their works at all. Gushing with friends about year old fics, seeing recs that perfectly articulate everything I've thought—it really makes things seem fresh and new. And lately Ive found a group of authors that seem active and write with the same flare that I've been looking for for awhile, which is so exciting and amazing! Fandom is just such a special place, it's bittersweet to see people come and go, but makes me hopeful to think that everyone who spent time making and viewing works got what they needed from that. And it's just fun continuing to appreciate legendary authors while welcoming new people :)

What a lovely commentary on fandom and the passage of time! I’m prone to nostalgia as well, and I feel you on the bittersweetness of seeing people come and go (even if the authors you mentioned are quite recent in my mind - what do you mean 2017 wasn’t yesterday?? lol)

Between jkr’s increasingly harmful behavior and RL happening (people moving on, getting published etc) it’s understandable that HP may have lost its magic to some people. But as someone who took many fandom breaks over the last 18 years, I don’t see them as something necessarily permanent. If anything, they were a healthy palate cleanser and helped me find new ways to interact with the community and to contribute in a more creative manner, even if I’m not a creator myself. I’ve only abandoned my lurker days because I left HP to join another fandom in 2012, and I’ve only created this blog because reccing in that fandom gave me the confidence to do it, so in the end everything worked out 🙌

Lastly, I love what you said about the joy of welcoming new creators! HP is such a special fandom when it comes to that, I’m amazed by how many people keep joining the community every year; Tumblr and Discord are flourishing and there’s so much fic and art being created, so many collabs in the works, so many fests and new friendships being formed and so much more representation. It’s heartwarming to see and it makes me excited for what’s yet to come. I don’t know how long I’m staying around but I do know that I’m still having lots of fun and finding “your people” is an integral part of the experience. I’m grateful I found mine and I’m so happy you found yours! Here’s to more years of appreciating old and new classics, making new friends and reading excellent Drarry!

#asks #anon #nostalgia 💜

16 notes · View notes

existentialmagazine · 11 months

Text

Review: Bertie Newman’s newest indie-folk single ‘Home’ carries a bittersweet message amidst a whimsically tender soundscape

Twenty two year old indie-folk singer-songwriter Bertie Newman has always found a home within his musical creations, penning his individual experiences and emotions with a depth he could never truly share any other way, and when getting his ADHD diagnosis it finally made so much more sense why he felt so different from the crowds. After getting that diagnosis only last year, Bertie found himself suddenly making more sense of why he had differing qualities to others, wrapping up much of his new EP ‘Thought So Loud’ around this new stage of his life and understanding himself. Touching on themes of neurodivergence, anxiety, relationships, and personal growth, the EP looks to be one that’ll relate to many, and his newest single ‘Home’ concludes it.

Haunting right from its tender acoustic beginnings, ‘Home’ glides into your ears with a warm, finger-picked acoustic guitar riff and echoey vocal ‘oohs’, a soft start for a song wrapped up inside its heartfelt familiarity. Building up as you journey through the verse with added distant bright piano chimes, acoustic guitar strums and layered vocals, ‘Home’ continues to feel nothing but sincere and utterly stirring even at its most dominant points, enveloping you within its whimsically evolving sound. The chorus peaks at an enchantingly atmospheric high with booming beats that reverberate around a vast echo chamber of sound; several layers of wispy vocals and continued intimate acoustic guitar, all intertwining for a moment you can’t help but feel yourself ache within. As the bridge pulls things back to just piano keys before becoming even more minimal guitar strums and of course Bertie’s vocals, every second of ‘Home’ can’t just feel so personal and emotionally-infused, bearing such a great feeling of longing in its’ gentle soundscape. The way Bertie sings atop it all ties it all together, affectionately soaring through a downbeat range that glistens with such raw emotional fluctuation, capturing not just your attention but your heart too.

As Bertie found himself penning the confessional narrative of ‘Home’, he took inspiration from his own journey of self-acceptance when first beginning his current relationship, finding that despite having the perfect partner in front of him he couldn’t help but look within at his faults and sabotage. Expressing that ‘I just wanna go home, now I know what it’s like to live without you’, Bertie finds himself caught up in the whirlwind of their love, feeling somewhat codependent and afraid of falling back into the loneliness his life once was before meeting them. As he continues to dream, lines like ‘hotel paradise, five star dreams… just don’t feel quite as nice as a rainy day, stuck in traffic by your side’ portray the utter head over heels affair he’s fallen into, sweetly boasting how their presence alone is enough to make any moment worth being in. Fearfully revealing ‘our hearts move further everyday, I’m just scared you’ll slip away’ , Bertie continues to show a deep-rooted level of insecurity within his newfound partnership, constantly afraid of losing them and overthinking the little details despite the perfection of their love not once faltering. ‘Home’ truly is a bittersweet mix of the purest kind of love and the work on yourself that needs to be done to not just accept it but do so healthily and without obsession, a challenge for most who have struggled with their mental health or self esteem. But it’s beautiful nonetheless, and a thought-provoking level of songwriting that’ll surely leave you looking within.

Sharing more detail, Bertie adds that “‘Home’ is really a throwback to how I felt really anxious about my current relationship when it first started to manifest. I felt as if a mirror had been placed directly in front of me and everything that was good and bad about myself was being revealed… Overall, I wrote this song wanting to highlight the absolutely stunning parts of meeting someone so special but also the complications within yourself that come with it.”

Check out ‘Home’ for yourself here to unpack the heavy lyrical journey Bertie has penned, whilst his fluctuating journey of sound takes you along for a bittersweet ride.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

#music #singlereview #bertienewman

0 notes

rametarin · 2 years

Text

I’m vague about my novel

But I will say, the plan is to finish the most adult version of it and publish it. The actual story. A dark fairytale full of tragedy, bittersweet resolutions, life lessons and progression with a nicely wrapped up (if, admittedly, bittersweet and slightly deliberately unsatisfying resolution- the way life goes, sometimes) and the whole story.

And then I’m going to public complete versions of this story that are designed to be told to one of the main characters’ offspring, as they grow up. With certain details omitted that their age group aren’t ready for, or some things unembellished, or some characters left out of the story and resolution to spare them asking questions.

The kid’s book version of the story would feature the family explaining to junior, “you aren’t old enough to know everything about the story. But maybe some day we’ll tell you more.”

And then the plan is to write a few versions. Each one of them featuring more information to further flesh out the story and tell what happened before they were born, including more characters that were there and what they did and their role in the story.

And then eventually it gets to the final telling and the child’s reaction post-story. Eventually agreeing that, “yeah I understand why you didn’t tell me everything, that’s some fucking messed up stuff, mom&dad.”

Ideally what I’d like is kind of meta. A subject to me that has always fascinated me, and I do mean always, is the different rate at which human children emotionally and mentally mature to know the truth about the world. Stuff like mortality, practical necessity, pragmatism, bitter realities, logic, how they deal and cope with passion and feelings and resolve them. Some children are equipped to deal with a sad story and not become deranged and fearful messes. Others can hear a sad story too early and get morose.

And the idea is to have this collection of lighter tales that work up to the reality of the dark fairytale, and introduce the understanding that adults hesitate to share this information for fear of ruining a young person’s mental health and progression by introducing too much emotional weight, too soon. The kid in the book pines to know the real gritty story and gobbles up every new element added to it, but the big extended biological and found family won’t tell him. Each story reveals elements of mature humanity that they would not have been mature enough to handle knowledge of without either being a bad influence for other kids or being unable to do anything with it but hurt themselves, beforehand.

And hopefully by age 11, the age when many young people around my area of New England are devouring novels meant for adults and not repeating the sometimes sketchy themes of violence, romance, sex, etc. they’ll feel like they’ve become able to handle these themes and knowledge responsibly.

Informally I kind of want that to feel like a feather in a fantasy reader’s cap. Knowing that the information and themes are sensitive but they’ve been trusted to understand something and not repeat it. I used to love these little parts, growing up. I never did anything improper with the information, but it made me proud to know information and parts of mature adulthood usually denied to anybody but teenagers, was trusted in my hands. It was a privilege.

The book outright saying, “yes we want you to know about the world but also we don’t want you to be warped or perverted by it, so we’re omitting for your safety while your body matures.” And in story examples of people, both young and adult, handling information poorly and being damaged by the consequences of being unprepared to handle it, should get the message across.

So you’ll have the dark fairytale and then the preludes leading up to it that are kind of side canon.

1 note · View note

socially-awkward-extrovert · 2 years

Text

It's A Good Day For Tornadoes

Clawfie always loved the rain.

It was nice to sit down on the sidewalk and drink a cup of coffee or tea as the rain ran down her face,

feeling like she could melt into the sidewalk,

heating her hands with her fire and hearing the rain sizzle off of them.

Shane was different.

In the rain he found a comfortable dragging loneliness, a quiet, a time to ponder things he usually didn't. Sometimes things he didn't really want to think about.

Things like him and Clawfie.

Clawfie was a lot better than he was. Even if he had tried to straighten out, he would never be up to her standards. he pulled out a cigarette. heh. another thing that Clawfie tried to get him to quit. He stood against the side of the house and lit his lighter. the flame went out in a flash. Dangit. The rain and wind didn't help. Shoot. He couldn't even get a cigarette. I guess Clawfie would be pleased. He thought, as he heard footsteps from around the house.

"Hey Mr. dark and spooky, whassa matter?"

Clawfie was about half soaked, the handkerchief that was on her head was now wrapped around something in her hand, and her messy hair was wet with rainwater.

She smells like the forest. he thought, looking her up and down. and with her green sweater, black jeans and bare feet, she about looked like the forest too.

"You're soaked, Clawf."

"You're not so much better yourself. And you didn't answer my question."

"It's nothing."

"There's obviously something, or else you wouldn't be standing in the rain pouting."

"Fine." She just had that look. the one that got him flustered when no one else would.

"I can't get a smoke because it's storming, and my lighter blows out every time I light it."

"Maybe you should stop smoking."

"Maybe you should mind your own frickin business."

She bit her lip. "Fine whatever. I'm tired of trying anyway." She flicked her fingers and a small flame appeared on his lighter.

"This one won't go out."

She turned on her heel and started walking back to the house.

"Hey Clawf?"

"Yeah?" Her voice echoed in his mind, empty as the rain.

"What's in your handkerchief?"

"My pot broke. I'm cleaning it up." There was no more emotion in her voice. she walked away. he heard the door shut.

Shane walked inside. the sky was getting dark with clouds, and there seemed to be a certain danger on the horizon.

"Clawfie?"

No answer.

"Love?"

This house was too big to go look for her. He sat down in a chair and buried his head in his hands.

THUMP.

he looked toward the basement. what the heck? He carefully walked toward the noise and looked down the basement stairs. Clawfie was sprawled on the stairs, and looking at him with her sad, black lined eyes.

"Hey Shane."

"What are you doing?" His tone was sharper than he wanted.

"I tripped. Why else would I be laying here?" She had tears in her eyes as she stood up.

"Clawfie? Are you okay?" A pang of guilt hit him. I shouldn't have snapped at her like that.

"'M fine. I just- I don't know."

"Why were you in the basement?"

"It looked very tornado-ey outside. I wanted to be safe, but you came in, and you were calling."

Shane looked out the window, his golden eyes resting on the sky. It shone a strange greenish color. in a burst of impulse, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door.

"I'm going out."

"What?" The tears in her eyes were replaced with confusion. Not answering her, Shane ran outside. Clawfie stared for a moment, and then, against her better discretion, followed. She chased him through the forest and out towards the road. He was standing, waiting for her.

"Care to dance, your majesty?"

"Is this an apology dance?"

He grabbed her and pulled her closer to him.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't."

Clawfie looked at the sky.

"Hey Clawf."

"Yeah?" Their disagreement from earlier flashed through their minds, and then faded, Their tears dissolve into the rain.

"It's a good day for tornadoes, ain't it"

Clawfie looked up at Shane, laughing a bittersweet laugh that mixed with his in the pounding rain.

They danced.

#ShaneFie #ocClawfie #ocShane #shane x clawfie #It's a good day for tornadoes #IAGDFT #tornadoes fic #me #my oc #myocs #clawfie

0 notes

writer-akihiko · 3 years

Note

so mc running away i love it the angst 👌 so if its alright can you the same but with the dorm leaders?(pls do a good ending my poor heart cannot take it-༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

Dorm Leaders + MC Running Away

So I apologise for the lack of happy endings, if you want to call it that. The scenarios turned out much more different than the First Years probably because of the power gap I had in mind. Also, for anyone wondering, the Vice Dorm Leaders will have a shot of saving you next! When I get to it... Cut for length. Also please help to share because I limited the tags!

Warnings: Character Death [Not you or the main boy], mentions of abuse and emotional manipulation [On the Reader] and violent actions [The Dorm Leaders]

"I'm not going back."

"Wh... What?" He was astonished. "YN... I've looked far and wide for you- please-"

No words left his mouth as you stepped away from him, tears in your eyes and you were going to make a run for it again.

Malleus Draconia

Your words struck a chord in him. He didn't mean it, but when you said that you weren't going back, he almost lost control. What did you mean you weren't going back? You promised him to be his Queen!

No... he's not accepting this. His Queen deserved better. His larger hands encircled your wrists, stopping you in your tracks. No matter how much you tugged and pushed, Malleus' strength was beyond you. In your sole despair, you fell in his embrace.

Every ache and injury struck your core, as you cried your heart out. "I can't go back Malleus," you whimpered. "I... I'm sorry."

Your hands gripped tighter onto his clothes. "I don't mean to fight against you, I-"

The Fae Prince sealed your bruised lips with his own, pulling your smaller form into his lap as he took in the moment of the bittersweet, longing kiss. "YN... listen to me," He said, his own ice cold tears falling onto your cheek, healing your wounds. "You never have to apologise for your suffering. Not even to me."

Malleus held you close as you drowsed off. The gentle smile hardened into a growl, as his back arched, black wings bursting out of his body. Malleus, in his dragon form, summoned the thorns to protect you, holding you as if you were his personal dragon hoard…

The principal, or more accurately the culprit, Dire Crowley was a fool to step out. It disgusted Malleus to his very core, his claws setting the very ground on fire as Crowley stepped closer. No words were exchanged between them. For all the suffering you faced, it was to be paid in tenfold as the dragon took a deep breath, releasing the fire in his chest.

"It was a fraction of her suffering…"

Riddle Rosehearts

He was ballistic. Riddle had been eager to bring you back immediately, but the sheer refusal and attempt to run away made him think that you hate him. He was blaming himself, sobbing to the ground.

Riddle's breakdown made you stop. No matter what you did, you still love him. Riddle's hiccups of sobbing paused at the feeling of your arms wrap around him. He wanted this, he wanted your warmth, he wanted- no… he needed you so badly he'd ceased to function without you.

"I don't hate you Riddle," You said, kissing his tears away. Your pretty Queen of Hearts had ruined the uniform he so proudly kept up with and Riddle himself was unkempt. Riddle cradled your sore body, letting you tell him your stresses and your breaking point abused over and over again by Crowley.

Riddle's heart softened ever so much for you, as he realised that he was to a fault as well. It was then he started to cry for you. "YN… I… I lost control. I know I can't be forgiven for the stress you went through so-"

"Rosehearts! You found her, how wonderful!" The jovial Principal cried out. In his hand was a magic tracking spell and that's when Riddle was struck with guilt once more. He doomed you, again. He… no, he refuses to end it this way.

Your loving self became meek, frightened by the aspect of being under Crowley's care once more. You trembled, reaching out to the hem of Riddle's coat. "Riddle… Please don't let them take me…"

He pulled you up, whispering to you. "When I cast my magic, run YN."

"Ridd-"

"Never thought you'd defy me, Rosehearts. Being a law abider and all~"

"Off With Your Head."

Kalim Al-Asim

"Y-YN?"

Kalim desperately hung onto your ankle, on his knees, begging and bargaining you to stay.

"YN… Please don't leave me again," He begged. "I'll… I'll stop dragging you to parties! I'll get you anything you want just please… please come back to me."

His tears wet your foot, as his grip left light marks on your ankle. Kalim never meant to harm you. He was so desperate to make you stay, but in his heart, he knew that he didn't have the strength to keep you with him if you desired to leave.

"How could you think that?!" You cried out. You stooped to Kalim's level, tackling him in hug so hard that he crashes to the ground. "I… I'd never leave you if I had the choice! I couldn't stand NRC anymore…"

You sobbed into Kalim's chest, wondering when it'd all end. You could never refuse Kalim, but what about everyone else? What about Crowley? Your spine shivered at the monster's name, wanting everything to disappear except for you and Kalim.

Kalim didn't know what to do. He didn't understand why Crowley would do such a thing to you. If Crowley was causing you such pain… He'd just have to get rid of the problem. You only deserve the best, after all. It's not his fault, nor is it yours.

You had cried yourself to utter exhaustion. Kalim gently wrapped you up in his jacket, cradling you to his chest. As if clockwork, Crowley appeared to the heartwarming scene, simply glad that you were going to be returned.

"Al-Asim, Dire should patch her up nicely-"

"No."

Crowley coughed. "What was that?"

"I said no," Kalim reiterated. "I have no reason to listen to you…"

"Since YN and I aren't your students anymore."

Azul Ashengrotto

How grateful he was to find you near the water. He almost turned red at the thought of you willing to search for him. Azul never thought you'd long for him this way, but you knew him, and you knew him well.

As if on cue, you looked beyond the trees to see your beloved, running from the sandy shores barefoot to be caught by your precious Azul. Azul doesn't have the best reflexes, trying to catch you without hurting you.

Azul took one good look at you, and the sight was enough to make him cry. Messy hair, cuts and bruises littering your skin possibly from running through the rocky forest, feet with sores from rocks… and tearful, sorrowful eyes.

Not an inch of sadness deserved to touch you. That was one of his core beliefs. He didn't say anything to prompt you to tell about what you'd been suffering. He knew. He knew every line of the story, and it made him ever so guilty that it led to this. If he just paid more attention to you, or at least try to.

Azul offered you everything. An ear to listen and his body for comfort, with his arms wrapping about you. If the simple action was enough for your forgiveness, he'd do it over and over again.

It was for a moment Azul held you, before running the water with you in tow. From the forest emerged the tweels, but what was behind you made you scream. Crowley, with his magic, retaliating against the twins' magic.

Azul wrapped you around his tentacles, drifting further into the ocean with you. He bent down to whisper in your ear. "YN, close your eyes. Don't look."

You shut your eyes tight as you did, hiding yourself in Azul's chest, away from the scene.

"May we never see you again, Crowley."

Azul and the twins in their merforms plummet into the ocean, deep down where Crowley would never come to touch you.

Idia Shroud

He wasn't surprised that the huge robot scared you. It was his secret project after all. He immediately let himself out of the robot, but he was hesitant to step into the forest. Idia was scared, but he still had to protect you!

"Y-YN..."

"Idia!..."

You stopped running, seeing your boyfriend pop out of the robot. Idia was quick to get over his reluctance as his panic shifts to your injuries instead. He wanted to cry out of joy from the mere chance of finding you.

Idia tried to treat your wounds as best as he could with the emergency kit conveniently equipped [he really did think of everything] although his wrapping technique was unkempt at best.

Idia's attempts to heal you made you forget of all the suffering. You couldn't help but laugh, realising how much you missed Idia. He knew that you needed this time. Oh, how he wanted to whisk you away...

But he might as well. You're his, right?

Crowley didn't get close to reaching you. Idia thought of it all. He tracked every move the principal made, fooling Crowley to think that Idia was with you the entire time, with the tracking device that Crowley so faithfully gave him.

"How desperate... it's honestly funny..." Idia scoffed at the idea of Crowley getting to you.

With the S.T.Y.X androids, Idia confronted Crowley, who was in sheer confusion.

"Crowley… burn in hell."

Leona Kingscholar

Leona didn't hold back. He couldn't believe you would say such a thign to him… The only conclusion he reached to was that you hated him. You hated his very core, just like everyone else… He was scared. It frightened him to the core that after everything he did, you still hated him.

"YN… stop fucking around with me," He said, grabbing onto your wrist. He wasn't about to throw a tantrum then and there. He had to get things straight. "Hey… tell me. Was I just a waste for you?"

"W-What are you talking about Leona?" You pushed against his chest, trying to get some distance but Leona was way stronger than you. The lion couldn't listen to reason. He simply went on about how you must've hated him, and how much you despised him.

"Did I mean nothing to you, YN?" Leona was shaking, his shoulders trembling from the mere thought of hearing those words.

You wrapped your arms around Leona, pulling him in close. "I never did… How dare you think that you stupid lion?!" You said, sobbing your heart out. You were equally hurt, but you never once thought Leona would think such a thing.

The emotional reunion was interrupted by the principal himself, pretending to be moved by such a scene. The false pretense of safety caught on to you, and you were sent into a panic, clinging onto Leona for fear of your life.

"I hate you!" You yelled, your body crumpling to the ground just as Leona caught you. "I hate you, I hate you. I don't want to go back, don't make me!"

If you were to scream anymore, you might collapse from exhaustion. Leona was quick to carry you in his arms, holding you close to his chest, where you were comforted by his heartbeat.

"Hoi, good for nothing principal," Leona called out, a single claw drawn out, igniting his Unique Magic.

"Move before I turn you to sand."

Vil Schoenheit

He was stunned to see you in such a state. He called out for you, and you stopped in your tracks. Was he that incompetent that he can't keep you with him? Did he not treat you right? Was his mere presence just torture for you?

Vil couldn't keep it in anymore. He needed to know. "YN… why won't you come back? Tell me, is it my fault? Am I not worthy of you?!"

The once prideful queen fell into shambles of insecurity as his mind won't stop painting images of you walking away from him, of you calling him your doom, of him being your captor… No, he didn't mean it…

"Was I the villain in your story?! WAS I?!"

Vil had never cried as much as he did. He needed to know that you didn't of him as a nuisance. He really was worthless if he made you feel unwanted… so please, he needed an answer.

"How could you think that, my love?"

You stooped to Vil's level, brushing away the tears that ruined his makeup with your very hands. Oh, your poor Vil… You were too selfish, thinking of your own suffering. With Vil in your arms, you felt whole once again. You gave Vil your actual answer, relenting every moment of your stress that stemmed from Crowley.

Oh… how his sweet potato must've suffered. Vil had a stuck of guilt, considering that he was under an Overblot as well. No matter, he had to make things right. For your sake, for his love's sake.

"YN, Crowley is trying to find you. But I… I have to set things right," He said, pulling you up.

The rustle of leaves had you on guard as from it came Dire Crowley, revelling in the scene.

"Schoenheit. You are supposed to bring LN YN to me immediately as I ordered."

Vil for once scared you. It scared you how enraged he was, and your heart wrenched at seeing the ink droplets by his hand.

"Vil, don't you dare-"

He turned back to you, whispering for you to run to Rook's safety. "Don't cry, my love."

You tried to hold the tears once again as you saw Vil shifting forms to an ink-like mess, this time his rage directed at Crowley. You could only run away, praying in your heart that Vil was safe.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst scenarios #twst angst #twst dorm leaders #twst azul #twst idia #twst kalim #twst malleus #twst leona #twst vil #twst riddle #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #kalim al asim #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #riddle rosehearts

2K notes · View notes

saiqherrr · 3 years

Text

—how dare you (t. fushiguro)

.pairing toji fushiguro x fem!reader

.content warning smut, nsfw, dub-con, very very rough sex, hate-fuck, degradation, scratching, oral sex (m!&f!receiving), unprotected sex

.synopsis your ex, and the father of your child, joins you for a friendly dinner, but things take an interesting turn.

.a/n dilf toji. that's it. 🤔 jk, this one actually took a lot out of me when writing. : | i added some soft, make-up sex because toji really does a number on y/n in this one so, enjoy that. ALSO TOJI GETS A LIL SOFT TOO lmao

.wc 5.7k

GOOSEBUMPS covered the expanse of your exposed arms, causing you to shiver and let out an unstable breath. you regretted not bringing a sweater or something with you to the restaurant. you just so happened to be conveniently seated in a booth that was right under a vent.

“do you want my jacket?”

“no,” you responded hastily to toji’s giving voice. this was the third time he had asked you if you needed something, or offered something. could he just quit it? you didn’t want to accept anything from him.

toji’s eyes narrowed and his face went dull, seeing how stubborn you were being over something so small. he put his jacket beside him and huffed. “you’re obviously fucking cold, y/n. you don’t have to act like such a child.”

toji’s vulgar language was no surprise to you, but it still sent chills down your spine to hear him talking to you that way - again. even when the two of you were together, his language was nasty and mean when reacting to the smallest things. surprisingly, that had nothing to do with why the two of you broke it off being that you, too, also had a bit of a potty mouth.

“i’m not acting like a child,” you reacted unhesitatingly, but you knew you were. you were desperately trying to find ways to avoid him, even if it meant he was genuinely trying to help you out. you shivered again and rolled your eyes as you felt a flood of cold air arrive at your skin. toji stared at you long and hard from across the table, seeing how hard you were trying to avoid eye contact with him. you could feel his glare without even looking. finally, you became fed up and grunted. “just give me the fucking jacket.”

toji laughed at you, amused, as he handed over the jacket and you aggressively snatched it from his hand. you slid your arms into the oversized jacket and sighed with relief. this wasn’t the first time you wore this specific jacket. you quickly got comfortable in it’s familiar warmth.

“you’re welcome,” toji annoyingly chimed.

you rolled your eyes again before crossing your arms. “i really regret agreeing to this, y’know...”

with a smug smile on his face, toji rested his elbow on the table and let his hand cup the side of his face as he looked at you. “why? nothing even happened. i’ve been nice to you this entire time.”

“that’s the problem. you think all these little nice gestures and innocent antics are gonna’ make me fall in love with you again or something,” you spat out, eyebrows furrowed, nose twitching.

toji scoffed hearing how delusional you sounded, pushing his own face away as he sat back again, his back connecting with the leather booth. “you sound silly, y/n. what antics are you talking about?”

“oh, don’t play fucking stupid, toji,” you snapped. your patronizing and slightly degrading voice made toji’s body twitch. “this entire outing is apart of the antic. what other reason would you have to call me up randomly and ask me out to dinner?” he couldn’t help but smirk, he missed your voice. he loved hearing that tyrant-like voice come out of you whenever you were getting angry. it was spunky.

toji genuinely just wanted to work on his friendship with you for the sake of the child you shared together. co-parenting was rough when the two of you were constantly at one another’s throat all the time. but, he knew you wouldn’t believe you so he didn’t bother explaining it. plus, he found your delusional assumptions to be quite entertaining.

“so you’re just not going to answer?” you ask. toji adverted his eyes, looking up at the ceiling, making it obvious he was trying to ignore you. “oh, fuck you.”

“fuck me then...”

before you could even utter a single letter back to him, your waiter had finally came by after the two of you waited for an unnecessarily long time. the exchange was short; asking for drinks, appetizers and then walking off to fetch them for you.

after the waiter left, your eyes met toji’s immediately. you didn’t forget what he said. “why would you say that?”

“say what? you said it first,” toji taunted, running his tongue across his bottom, scarred lip.

you were getting more annoyed by the second but for some reason, you were...happy? you didn’t want to leave, in fact, whenever toji’s attention would go to his phone, it made you upset for a reason you couldn’t explain. this was the first time in almost a year that the two of you had been in the same place for more than five minutes.

after toji moved out, you agreed to dropping ‘gumi off at his place every friday, picking him up on mondays. most of the time, you did it in silence, simply putting ‘gumi in the backseat of his car, giving him kisses and leaving. but right here, right now, you were in his presence and speaking to him once again.

“...megumi’s doctor appointment.”

you blanked out so hard, so into your head, that you didn’t even realize toji was talking to you. you blinked once you snapped back to reality and looked at him. “for fuck’s sake, were you listening?” he asked, giving you another one of those dull looks.

you shook your head no, embarrassed. “sorry, i was thinking about something...”

“thinking of what?” his voice was gruff.

“don’t worry about it,” you responded. the waiter came back with your drinks and the appetizers. they asked for your meals and the two of you told him as he scribbled it down in a notepad before walking away again.

toji picked up a handful of fries and popped it into his mouth, chewing like a slob. “just tell me.”

you huffed. being honest wouldn’t hurt, would it? “you, damn it. i was thinking of you.”

“wow, i’m flattered,” toji responds sarcastically, looking down at his phone. he looked back up at you to see your face seemingly hurt, your lips parted as you didn’t know what to say. “i’m joking.” he broke out into a laugh laced with immaturity. “that’s cute though.”

“whatever,” you grumbled.

gradually, the night got better. after having a couple of two sentence arguments and spewing mean comments back and forth, they were replaced by small pick-up lines, friendly jokes and pure happiness to be around one another. toji shamelessly enjoyed himself, missing this feeling of being around you. you, on the other hand, were still stand off-ish, even though there was a yearning desire to be in his presence everyday. to be in his strong arms again, to hear him say, “i love you,” again. but you ended it. you ended it because you’re too conceited and you needed to prove that you could live without him, that you didn’t need to depend on him for everything. toji was a good man to you and a good father to the son you both shared. even with his not-so-squeaky-clean history that everybody and their mother was telling you about, he was the complete opposite. you got comments like “you’ve changed him,” that would make you feel so good about your spirit. it got to your head, and you felt the need to keep him wrapped around your finger. when he caught on, he felt hurt that you didn’t cherish him in a more affectionate way, yet he still stayed. he respected your decision to leave him, but he wasn’t happy with it. you unintentionally spawned a feeling of anger in his heart that was targeted at you which was the reason things had to end so sour.

as these thoughts swam around in your mind, you stared out the window, eyes unfocused and lost in a daze. nimble, blurred images of street signs, houses, pedestrians and all things the city included hurried past your still eyes, failing to process any of it as you sat in the passenger seat of toji’s car.

for the most part, he kept his eyes glued to the busy road, but he’d occasionally look at your emotionless face, wondering about what you were thinking so hard about. if he were to ask, you would’ve gotten upset, so the words he wanted to speak dissipated instead. he cleared his throat as he sighed and leaned back on his seat, lounging as he drove and the sudden sound broke you out of your trance.

your eyes flickered to him as he sat in the seat, keeping his eyes forward and alert. you wondered how long you had been out of your body. you wondered if he noticed. seeing him in the seat, lightly gripping the wheel, watching how his eyes analyzed other drivers brought you back to your days with him. he was super cautious on the road, super cautious of his passengers and super cautious of himself. you suddenly got frustrated with yourself for wanting him - no, needing him back again. you missed him so much and attempting to put on this facade that you didn’t was irksome.

you didn’t realize he had pulled into the driveway of your house, right beside your sister’s car, who was watching megumi for the night. you wanted to get your emotions out. you couldn’t let him leave yet. “toji-” you cut yourself off, realizing that you were calling out to him. “toji.”

his sharp, dirty green eyes shifted over to your face, without him barely moving his head. his eyebrow raised with curiosity. “hm?”

“can you come inside?” you asked. toji wanted to laugh at how soft your voice was in contrast to the roughness of your tone from earlier. how pitiful. he kept his laughs and thoughts inside and let out a small breath.

“yeah, sure.”

toji put the car in park and the engine died as the two of you got out of the car. you walked ahead of him as you approached the front door to the home you previously used to own together, the moment bittersweet as you unlock the front door.

the sound of soft baby music reached your ears as you entered in. you can see a kids cartoon blaring on the tv, while your sister was sleep on the couch, mouth slightly open and your son asleep in his rocker. toji smiled at the sight. you barely changed anything in the house. a family portrait that you begged toji to participate in was still hanging on the wall. you took light steps as you approached your sister, nudging her.

“oh, you’re here,” she says, yawning and extending her arms out to stretch. she sat up, digging her palms into the couch and her eyes darted to the front door. “toji?” your sister looked back at you, but you gave her a pleading look, hoping she would get the hint and just go.

“hey.” toji’s voice was dry, hinted with a bit of enthusiasm in the end.

your sister gave megumi a quick kiss on the cheek as he slept before gathering her few belongings and leaving. you sighed with heavy relief and walked over to megumi to get him out the rocker. toji chuckled, seeing how desperate you were to talk to him.

you had come to find out that you’re child was a heavy sleeper, not even disturbed in the slightest when you held him in your arms. you kissed his soft, chubby cheeks and rubbed your face against his, showering him with motherly love. “i’m gonna put him to bed, just wait in our room.” you didn’t even realize you had said “our”, but toji did and he was expecting you to correct yourself, but you didn’t. toji kissed megumi’s forehead before you went upstairs and put him in his crib before going across the hall into your room.

toji was laid out on the bed the two of you once shared, staring up at the ceiling, his defined hands loosely folded over his stomach. he was sitting in the dark oddly, making your eyebrows twitch. you flicked the light on and toji’s eyes shut from how bright it was. he saw colors plaguing his vision as his pupils tried to adjust.

“so, what’s wrong?”

the question made you freeze momentarily as you were on your way to your dresser to change. you went back to what you were doing, not sure how to answer his question. you didn’t even hear him get up from the bed, you were simply given an unsolicited touch on your arm, making you flinch in place. the fact that you didn’t reject the gesture was enough for toji to confirm that you missed him.

“toji, i...” his name slipped out of your mouth. his breath fanned over the back of your neck, causing a chill to run down your spine. your heart was beating faster with each second that passed by. move. you wished he would move. you were frozen in place, scared to fall into any trap that he’d have for you. a lump sat in your throat, making you painfully uncomfortable, forcing you to speak. “toji, i miss you,” you exposed, your voice delicately hoarse. you gasped at the sound of your own voice and toji’s jaw clenched. a burning sensation plagues your eyes as tears began to rise. you only made it worse by not blinking, desperately trying to keep toji from seeing you so weak. your chin twitched as your lips began to quiver. toji caged your body as he put his hands on the dresser in front of you and he filled up the already little space between the two of you.

“i know you do.” his voice was intimidating and husky. he couldn’t see your face at this moment; hot tears streaming down your cheeks, your nostrils flaring uncontrollably. you could see his hands in front of you, gripping the dresser as if it was going to run away, his knuckles had turned snow white. “just wish you didn’t have to break my fucking family apart just so you could fail to prove a dumbass point.”

you couldn’t hold in your cries and gasped in such a pathetic way. “it wasn’t dumb-” you began to argue but a sharp, demeaning tone cut you off.

“shut the fuck up, y/n. it was dumb. because now we’re here, and you’re asking me to come inside for what?” you had no argument to that. you wanted him to come inside because you wanted to feel his presence in your home again. “this was our home.”

“i want it to be our home,” you whined, responding back almost immediately. “it’s our home,” you repeated. you bit on your lip so hard that you didn’t even realize that you had bit through the skin, causing it to bleed. you licked your lip, the metallic flavor reaching your taste buds. you turned around, putting your hands on toji’s chest. your eyes didn’t even meet his and you didn’t want to, because you knew those patronizing eyes were going to break you. “i’m sorry,” was all you could whisper as you grabbed onto his shirt, the cotton wrinkling in your grip. your breath hit his chest and he remained so still that it started to scare you. you jumped in place when he finally moved and his face was in your peripheral vision as he leaned down to place his scarred lips on your jaw. they traveled to the space behind your ear and trailed along the side of your neck until he reached your collarbone, smacking his lips with each wet peck. you grew impatient, grabbing his face with demanding hands until your soft lips connected to his.

the way he gripped your hips was irascible, but you knew you deserved it. how dare you break apart your family to feed your ego? how dare you cut the time your son has with his father for your own selfish rational? how dare you spend all this time spewing nonsense about you not loving him - how he didn’t take care of you enough? how dare you stand here and apologize after all the damaged you’ve caused? toji pulled away harshly and his eyes immediately met your glossy orbs. the look in his eyes were despondent, telling you a thousand things that only you could understand. your hands had fell to either sides of his neck, brushing against the hairs on the nape.

“i love you...” you regretted speaking as the words fell from your mouth.

toji stared at you long and hard, trying to read every bit of your face. after you spent months speaking of him so ill, he couldn’t fully believe your words. “prove it, y/n.” his voice carried nothing but intimidation in contrast to the lewdness of the command.

before you could utter another word out, toji’s fingers were wrapped around your throat, gripping the sides. your mouth went dry trying to breath in as much as you could and your face became tight as he cut off your airway. this wasn’t something you weren’t used to. you were accustomed to having rough sex with him - that’s just how he was - and you had grown to love it. but obviously, all of his actions had a different motive behind them this time.

toji kept his silence, removing his hands from your throat and pushed your head down while you simultaneously gasped for air. slowly, you got on your knees in front of him, your face leveled with his crotch. toji didn’t have to demand you like he used to. you felt guilty, you knew exactly what he wanted and the least you could do was give it to him. so, you’re fingers pulled down the cold, metal zipper on his pants and unbuttoned the silver button that held his slacks together. you didn’t have to look up at him to know that his eyes were watching your every move like a hawk. your fingers hooked onto the belt loops of his pants and you pulled them down until they fell to his ankles. he stepped out of them and kicked them to the side for them to be forgotten for the night.

as if it were routine, he took his index and middle finger on one hand and tapped your mouth, signaling for you to open it. your lips parted just enough and he facilely slid his fingers inside of your mouth. a small pool of spit sat on your tongue and it coated his fingers as you wrapped your tongue around them. with his free hand, he rubbed his semi-hard cock through his boxers, hissing as he anticipated the feeling of your mouth. he removed his fingers and rubbed the residue on his bulge. you licked him through his underwear, leaving trails of saliva that covered his length, dampening the cotton. he was fully erect by now, pulsating through his boxers. you pulled them down like you did his pants before and he kicked them to the side also. his cock slapped against his abdomen and you grabbed it, jerking him off while your tongue fed his bulbous, swollen head a couple of teasing kitten licks. you forgot the feeling of his length in your hand, feeling up on the familiar vein that ran underneath his cock. the only odd thing about all this was that toji wasn’t speaking. usually, he praised, complimented your pretty lips, your innocent eyes. but no, he wasn’t speaking at all.

your hands gripped onto his waist as your mouth took his entire length in. his tip kissed the back of your throat, as he thrusted himself into your mouth. the warmth of your mouth managed to fish out a couple of groans that’d leave his lips, throwing his head back as he felt your tongue curve in place for his girth. he pushed his flat, raven locks back, getting them out of his vision. he grabbed your head, a stinging sensation on your scalp as he grabbed your hair, and forced himself even more down your throat, causing you to gag, painfully choking on his cock. salty tears ran down your cheek and toji smirked with amusement as he watched your cock bulge inside of your throat with every thrust he delivered. it then finally registered in your brain that he wasn’t doing this for pleasure - he was doing it to watch you struggle. he pulled himself out before you could - literally - manage to choke to death, making a ‘pop’ sound. you coughed up a storm, hands on the floor as you took heavy, dramatic breaths trying to learn how to breath again. a silver string of saliva was falling slowly from your mouth. toji’s hand lightly tapped your cheek, your eyes slowly meeting his tormenting gaze. his huge, muscular arm wrapped around your torso and he carried you over to the bed.

memories of kissing your greedy lips, burying his head in between your thighs, and making love to you until you were intoxicated by the way he fucks had fogged his mind. memories of you being his and his only. he could only imagine how many men you let fuck you in this bed, how many men touched places that only he had access to, how many times their hands brushed over the ‘TOJI’ that was inked into your skin on your inner thigh, how many times they laid eyes on the ‘T’ in between your breasts, how many times you had to painfully say, “that’s my ex’s name.” how many times did it happen in these past nine months? he wanted to know.

suddenly, strong fingers were aggressively removing his jacket from your arms, throwing it somewhere to be found later. the red, mesh shirt you had on was ripped in half, exposing your back and you gasped lightly. every movement carried anger. you deserved it. you deserved to be treated this way. he took the remainder of the shirt off of your body before unclasping your bra. his hands grabbed them, feeling your soft, plush breasts that he missed so much. after you had megumi, you were gifted with a busty chest that toji fucking adored. his body was pressed against yours, his cock rubbing against your ass, the only thing keeping you separated was the jeans around your waist. his thumb ran along the area where the ‘T’ was tatted in between your boobs while his other hand pinched at an erect nipple.

his cock was hot against your ass and as rough as he was being, you wanted to feel him. you had to feel him again. you then processed how selfish those thoughts were, wanting him to fuck you after spending many nights with other men while the two of you were apart. it wasn’t fair to toji who - surprisingly - didn’t even think about go on a friendly date with another woman during these past nine months.

toji’s hand trailed down to your waist, unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans. he got a hold of both your pants and your silk underwear and pulled them down in a way that was anything but gentle.

“oh my god,” you breathed out. his nails sharply glided on your skin, causing three stripes of claw marks to appear on your lower back and trail on your ass. he showed no remorse either, purposefully grabbing the affected area as he now rubbed his cock on your bare ass, making you grimace. he let his cock slip in between your legs, grazing over your warmth. his grip on your body got painfully tighter as he noticed you were getting off to this, your slick getting onto his length. the smallest moan had regrettably left your lips as you panted like a dog in jagged breaths.

he pushed you onto the bed, positioning you in front of the headboard, forcibly putting you on your hands and knees. toji continued to run his cock along your puffy lips, groaning as he missed this feeling. normally, he’d prep you. he’d finger you, he’d devour your pretty pussy, he’d watch you desperately hump a pillow with your bare core, getting your juices all over it. he didn’t do any of that, he just wanted to use your body to fuck out his own anger. his hips gripped your waist and he slammed himself into you, his cock intruding your viscid walls, earning a cry that held pain from your mouth. he hissed at the feeling of your hole sucking him in. he pulled out slowly to see his cock glistening with your slick. he was drawn back to your body like a magnet and buried himself into your hole until he was balls deep, vast pleasure taking over his body, his mouth gaping. it wasn’t long before he was delivering strong, hard thrusts into your squelching pussy, that familiar burning sensation that you swore you couldn’t live without spread to your thighs. you gripped onto the sheets beneath you, the fabric crumbled up in your fists. heat burns your body every time your ass slapped against his groin. the bed creaked rhythmically every time toji bucked his hips, causing the headboard to slam into the wall each time. spit formed bubbles on your tongue as it barely hung out as you breathed through his strokes. whiny moans left your mouth as heavy breaths left toji’s.

he finally spoke, making your body violently jerk underneath him at the sound of his voice. “don’t wake my son up.” his lips grazed the top of your ear while his hand was swaddling your throat as he bellowed what sounded like a threat into your ear.

he let go as you frantically heaved for more oxygen again. toji’s strokes were rapid and tameless, but you wouldn’t dare ask him to have mercy on you. he stopped momentarily, leaving your pussy vacant, to flip you over on your back, and didn’t hesitate to plunge his thick cock into your pussy again. his balls swung and slapped against your ass as he moved at an unnatural speed. “t-toji...i can’t...” you struggled to speak, your words almost inaudible. “too...fast,” was all that could be audibly mustered up from your drooling mouth.

he ignored your weak words and pulled you up so your chest was pressed firmly against his own, still plunging into your pulsating cunt with feral thrusts. one arm was holding you up in place and his other hand was squishing your tear-stained cheeks.

“how many men have you fucked in this bed?” he growled. he looked directly into your panic-stricken eyes that screamed the word “stop” in a million different languages. he loosened the grip on your face just enough for you to speak, but nothing came out. he sent an incredibly painful thrust into you that kissed your cervix, causing you to scream. your scream was cut off by his clammy palm covering your mouth. your muffled squeals vibrated through his hand and your eyes screwed shut as the balance between pain and pleasure started to become uneven. it was too much, too fast. you were too full, too fucked out. your mind saw double, feeling a mental freeze while your body continued to react pleasurably to the feeling of his cock ramming into your sopping cunt. “how many men have you fucked in this bed?!” spit flew from his mouth as he asked the question again. his voice was drowned out by white noise, but you could still hear his urgent question.

eyes dead, face losing color, you finally found a way to answer his question once his hand was removed from your mouth. “s-seven,” your response was slurred. you felt like you could pass out at any minute. sweat ran down the side of your face as cold as your body was.

your answer only made him angrier, driving him to send another thrust into you. you didn’t think he could go harder than last time, but he continued to surprise you, going past your expectations. soundless curse words were liberated from his lips as your cunt milked his veiny cock unceasingly. the pain was overbearing but subconsciously, you focused on the very little pleasure that was there as he fucked into your pussy ferociously. he was purposefully avoiding your g-spot, trying to keep you as uncomfortable as possible.

“i’m gonna cum in you...” he growled the words in your ear as if it were a warning. “did you let those men come in this pretty pussy?”

“no...” your answer came out as a whine, almost like you were annoyed by the fact that he was asking you so many pointless questions. “p-please...” you didn’t even know what you were begging for, you just had to say it. you sucked in a sharp breath as toji buried himself deep inside of you in a surprisingly careful way and his hot, sticky semen left your walls daubed white. you clenched your teeth, humiliated as the fluid gushed out of your cunt, too overwhelmingly full with his cock.

you couldn’t verbally or mentally react, but your body did, squirming in his hold until you fell on the bed. you fell onto your back, your head sinking into your pillows as his cock slipped out of your loose hole. you turned, laying on your side. your body was twitching uncontrollably, tears streamed down your face as you finally regained your full consciousness. you were full-on crying at this point, wishing he’d stop all of this right now, but wanting him to be able to unleash his anger on you. your eyes were shut so tight you could see colors and it only brought more pain to your already aching head.

toji looked down at you. you were in pain, distraught and fucked out. his pretentious disposition had slowly withered, his face growing soft. he had seen red for too long, ignoring how badly he was hurting you, but deep down he knew that you were letting him. he always admired how you were so willing, how you were so quick to understand someone else’s actions. while toji didn’t deserve your poor treatment, you didn’t deserve this either.

the tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. the smell of sweat and sex had filled your noses. the only sounds that could be heard was toji’s heavy breathing and your small sobs. not being able to see, you were shocked to feel a soft, sympathetic kiss being placed on your lips, cutting off your weeping. you opened your eyes just a bit to see toji laying beside you, giving you love the way he used to. this was a kiss you remember. it was gentle, but assertive. toji slid his tongue inside your mouth, searching all around it. your teeth strike each other occasionally as the kiss was sloppy and hurried. he leaned over your frail body, his hand caressing your legs gently, feeling up the plush of your thighs. he spread your legs open a bit, letting cold air hit your clit again, causing a moan to vibrate against his lips. you broke away to get air, a hot breath fanning over toji’s chin.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffled. “i’m so sorry, toji.” as if to save you from another round of sobs, he immediately showers your cheek with insistent kisses as his hand inched closer to your warmth.

for a second you swore you felt his lips mouth the words “it’s okay,” against your skin. your assumption was confirmed when he repeated it with a broken voice as his thumb finally meets your swollen clit, rubbing it in a circular motion. his lips go down to your neck, your head ensuing, lifting up to give him more access. he kissed and sucked on your sensitive spots, giving tedious care to areas where he gripped your neck too hard. you grinded your hips with the very little energy you had against his rough thumb, melting from his touch. toji sat up and hovered over you, kissing, licking and sucking on your round breasts.

“you’re so sexy, you know that? you taste so good,” he compliments you for the first time tonight. you never realized how much you missed those words.

he knew he couldn’t penetrate you again, so he was physically trying to do whatever he could to show you he loves you. his actions were comforting, but confusing being that he spent majority of this time trying to cause you immense pain. you watched as his lips skidded across your skin all the way down to your clit where he pressed his tongue flat. your eyes fluttered, as you gasped. you gulped as your eyes lazily watched toji taste you.

he sucked on your throbbing clit, holding your restless thighs steady. he was slurping and devouring you like it’d be his last time. he moaned at how good you tasted, the vibrations of the moan sending your body ablaze. your hands tangled in his hair that was drenched in sweat. you gripped it, yanking him closer to you until his nose tickled your cunt. his tongue explored your walls that were clenching around nothing. he was gradually bringing you closer to your climax, your bent legs stretching out around him. he saw your face fill with desperation as his tongue flicked your clit over and over, moans flying out of your gaped mouth, your toe’s curling at the consistent feeling.

“oh god, toji,” you breathed. “don’t stop...i’m gonna cum.”

“good girl.” that appraisal came again.

you bucked your hips and he latched his lips on your clit once more, sucking hungrily as your lower body went numb, causing you to wail as you reached your orgasm. you saw white, eyes rolling to the back of your head and choked on your own, dragged out moan. your legs violently shook and cum leaked out of your overstimulated pussy. toji takes no time, licking you clean, breathing against your core as he enjoyed the taste of your cum.

toji brought his face to yours again, kissing you on your plump lips before pulling away. his soft eyes looked down at you, saying things that couldn’t come out of his mouth. your eyelids felt heavy and you couldn’t help, letting a wave of drowsiness take over you as your body slowly shut down.

toji pulled the comforter over your body and his own, pulling your sleeping body close to his as he planted a kiss on your forehead and buried his head in the crook of your neck as he held you in his arms for the rest of the night.

#jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk #toji zenin #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro smut #toji imagine #toji x you #toji smut #jujutsu kaisen toji #dilf toji #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro

2K notes · View notes

boop-le-snoot · 3 years

Text

marmalade taffy

Helmut Zemo smut & feels. Soft!Dom Zemo, non-superhero!AU, Zemo being the weird uncle of college!Maximoff twins. This was written on a whim so if someone signs up to beta-read, I will shower you with affection and reminders to drink water. The Reader is addressed as "you" and is not described - race/age/body type neutral. The language I used for Sokovian is actually Serbian. Word count 2,8k.

Fun fact: I have mild synesthesia. Emotions/feelings and some people have an assigned color (and sometimes smell) for me. That's how the name of the fic was born. This fic feels like the colors of marmalade and taffy, look them up. This fic is dedicated to my lovely @slothspaghettiwrites , the shining beacon in my misty, rocky beach. (You're a periwinkle for me, by the way. I thought you might ask.)

When you first see him all you do is raise an eyebrow. His sleek, well-maintained vintage car stands out almost grotesquely amongst the various sedans and mom vans on the campus and you can see the glint of his wristwatch even from afar. Wanda's and Pietro's sheepish smirk only makes the situation worse - the girl's attire obviously screams "liberal arts" and her twin brother doesn't seem to have anything better to wear than tracksuits.

The man behind the wheel is unfazed. He is calm and collected in that European way, not conceited, just waiting. For what? You don't know. His eyes trail over you but he doesn't smile, simply gives a tiny polite nod. If you hadn't had extensive conversations about cultural differences with Wanda, you'd say he was extremely rude.

Shy, quiet Wanda, who's eyes lit up seeing her favorite not-actually-uncle. In a surprising dash of energetic agility, she hopped right into the car, her numerous scarves a bright flash of saturation against the campus grayscale. You giggle and wave at the departing car, snorting when Wanda's hand reaches over to briefly honk the horn, causing the driver to swerve the tiniest bit, his eyes trained on you in the rearview mirror.

He comes and goes often. Almost always in a different perfectly restored vintage car, mostly with the same polite mask of bored contentment. You know he's royalty in his home country and can't help but wonder how frivolously the twins act around him - no, free. He gives all the appearance of a silent, strict man.

You're proven wrong rather quickly. Freshman year left behind you, you and Wanda decide to ditch the dorms for an apartment - she finds one rather quickly and it's just you two in it even though it is ridiculously huge and the rent amount she requests is equally ridiculously small. Not the one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you pretend nothing is out of the ordinary and buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

Helmut - Wanda finally formally had introduced you two - doesn't come by often, however the visits are always... Eventful. He's not at all what it seemed to be; in the quiet of your apartment, a witty, incredibly clever man resurfaces from under the stoic façade. The Slav in him easily lets him consume alarming quantities of alcohol together with Pietro, who opted to stay in the dorms with his idiotic football team, and - you couldn't believe your eyes at the time - dorkily dad-dance squat in the middle of your living room, unfazed by your and Wanda's cackling.

The way Helmut is absolutely unbothered by the audience and the laughter, pale face flushed from the wine and a little smirk stretching his thin lips into expression almost catlike. The maroon turtleneck stretches nicely across his chest, as thinly as your lip that you worry between your teeth.

Pietro raises an eyebrow. You shrug.

"Got something in your eye, no?" He teases playfully and you shrug again, taking another swig of your nice, European beer.

There are more gatherings, more parties and quite a few rides in his car, when the wind blows your hair in all directions possible and intermingles it with Wanda's as you giggle and squeal in the back seat. Helmut always indulges you two; the word 'no' simply does not exist in that man's vocabulary. He insists politely but firmly on a dinner with all three of them on your birthday and the gifts he brings make your eyes pop out and your face heat.

"A woman like you makes any sensible man want to shower you with the finest gifts," Helmut's voice is quiet and his accent is thick and somehow, it makes it all that harder to refuse. He smiles like usual - tiny and a little secretive, as he pecks your cheek, filling the air around you with the smell of his cologne. It makes your mouth water and your fingers clench helplessly around the half a dozen of silk paper-wrapped boxes.

The summer rolls in and it's hot and humid and finally you don't have to worry about waking up at the crack of dawn or classes or the annoying boys who can barely take a no for an answer. The invitation to Helmut's villa doesn't come as a surprise; Wanda had been riled up over it since early May and Pietro and his whole damn football team were equally as thrilled.

You pack flowy dresses, daisy dukes and swimsuits. The expensive jewelry and handbag Helmut had gifted you, too, since the villa is surrounded by a whole neighborhood meant solely for the rich and famous. Wanda is absolutely unbothered by her own bohemian chic and you quietly envy her; the longer you get to know her, the more you realise of how much actually she does not give a fuck about anything besides her paintings and sculptures.

It's admirable, really, because she is talented. And Helmut knows it, too, having had collected and kept every single work Wanda had made, showing it off in the various rooms of his two-story mansion. The abstract fits in well and is a great conversation topic for him and his equally important friends. There's an endless stream of them in the first days and Wanda isn't overtly happy, choosing to run away to laze around the pool with you more often than not.

Helmut's friends stop at the glass wall between the inner side of the house and the pool to stare at you two, too, causing something dark and tense flash across his features. There always had been a sort of tangy obscurity in him, you've noticed, but not nearly enough for you to grow concerned. It added the bittersweetness, the flavour and consistency to the modest man.

Although calling him modest might have been a mistake. The moment you can't shake off one of his friends after a polite chit-chat seems to never end, Wanda nowhere in sight, dread and unease digging their sharp, spindly fingers in the soft flesh behind your rib cage, Helmut is suddenly there, arm wrapped almost possessively around your waist.

"Draga mea, Wanda is looking for you. She says it's urgent," He stares the man down with the eyes of a vulture. "I believe we haven't been properly introduced," Helmut seems to not realize he's still clutching you in a grasp of steel as the man opposite you rumbles out his name, few syllables you'd forgotten seconds after he spoke them for the first time.

"Baron Helmut Zemo," the fingers brush and squeeze once, gently, over the valley of your waist before letting go. You miss the rest of their peacocking, walking away with a fight and fire inside of your hammering heart. Anxiety and longing and confusion mix and blend, combining into a cocktail that has you beelining for the bar like a woman parched.

The next day you're sleeping off the hangover, first in your bed and then by the pool - Wanda had run off into town for one thing or another, and knowing her, she'd be back home at the crack of dawn. It was blissful peace, the soothing balm for your troubled heart and your aching head.

"Hungover?" Helmut's voice was quiet and a little bit teasing. None of the Eastern Europeans had ever showed the signs of having any ill effects from the alcohol they drunk, unlike you.

You stretched, too blissed out to care about the skimpy strings and straps of your bikini, basking in the gentle morning sun. "Mmm, not anymore," a swim in the cold pool had done wonders.

Your soft pink float rocked as Helmut's footsteps quieted, giving way to a short splash and the sound of his breathing somewhere in your space. Just as you cracked open your eyes, he reached out a hand to steady himself next to you. "I wanted to apologize for the situation yesterday. That man was stepping out of line. He is not welcome in my home anymore."

You stare at him and then you snort. The blunt was he usually speaks is so easy, it flows oh so effortlessly. No mind games, just honesty. You want to pay him back in kind. "Don't worry, Helmut. I just had a bit too much to drink," that was the truth. Any other time and you wouldn't have hesitated to unapologetically steer clear of any creep. Heat and bubbly don't mix and that was your own mistake.

"No, printsesa," the man in front of you let loose some of the delicious darkness, eyes growing stormy, hand gently resting over yours. "Some men are fools, they are nothing but animals. You deserve to feel safe, especially in my home." His lips stretched into a smile, water dripping down his jaw and making tiny circles form in the azure of the pool.

"I can't argue with that," you replied, catching the stray liquid and following the trails it made with your eyes. His forehead, dripping down over his eyes, making Helmut blink the stray drops away until they landed on his lips, trickling down his chin.

You swallowed, opting to dip your toes into the cool pool water before you could make a fool of yourself. The water splashed towards him, making a mischievous grin grace his usually serious face, as me made a half-hearted attempt to splash back weakly, making the water sizzle on your sun-kissed skin. Never the one to back down from a challenge, you knitted your eyebrows in mock offense, eagerly letting the water wash over you as you abandoned the float in favour of creating waves with your whole body.

The temperature contrast was delicious and Helmut's laugh even more so as it echoed in between the high walls of the building surrounding the pool. The sun was nearly at its peak, shining over your head in a beacon of heat that almost matched the one inside of you, the one that had blossomed there months ago and finally grew into a steady smolder, shooting sparks whenever you were around the baron.

It was hot and wet, the same feeling chasing you two when you finally kissed. His hand firmly planted on the side of your neck, his nose softly brushing against the underside of your jaw, Helmut was in no rush to taste you, to savour every millimeter of your sun-kissed skin. The man left you with your fingertips trembling and heart scrambling for purchase somewhere in the deepest pits of your belly.

"What are you so hungry for, mmm?" Helmut's voice rumbled next to the shell of your ear; you could barely focus, skin singing underwater, where he held onto you like a lifeline. "You have hungry eyes, ljubavi, tell me what it is and I'll give it to you," your bodies pressed flush against each other, his eyelashes flittering against your cheek.

"You," the maximum capacity for your brain was one-syllable words and you used it sparingly, failing to suppress a gasp when Helmut's mouth latched around a particularly sensitive spot right under your jawline.

Teeth scraped over it before he soothed the sting with his tongue. "All the things in the world, I could give them to you. And yet..." He sounded almost disappointed. Perplexed, just as you were at the strange admission. "A woman like you would have men fighting for your attention yet you give it to me so freely," he murmured softly, capturing your lips in a slow, fluid kiss once more. "I will make sure you have everything you could ever want."

Helmut's touch grew bolder as he steered the two of you towards the shallow end of the pool. The taste of him was intoxicating, like the sweetest, most alluring poison you'd ever tasted: you knew that once you had one small bit, you'd be addicted, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. His words were clever and his mouth even more, making the short stumble upstairs last hours.

A wall, baroque tapestry, marked with the wetness of the pool water, where you allowed yourself to be pressed against as he leaned into you with the entirety of his broad frame, domineering the kiss effortlessly.

You panted as your back hit the soft, million-thread count, unmade sheets of the baron's bed, staring up into his eyes and finding your own reflection in his pupils, blown wide with lust. The tiny smirk was back but now his unexpressive face was marred by a gleem, accentuating his moist, puffy lips you'd licked into and bitten in a heated frenzy.

"Beautiful, printsesa," he stated with quiet firmness, leaning over into you to unclasp and toss away the upper part of the bikini. The bottoms followed suit, flung carelessly somewhere. His hands ran over your as it sang, every tiniest nerve hypersensitive, coming alive with a fervor borne of months of longing, complimented by the summer heat and cool waters.

"Helmut," your voice wavered, flowed on the syllables as his clever, clever mouth trailed hot down your chest, briefly submerging each nipple into the sear of it. Goosebumps rose over your exposed body, highlighting a trail for him, a trail he followed eagerly. Kisses were candy sweet and marshmallow soft.

Hot breath at the apex of your thighs had you mewling and arching into it, having abandoned all shame, and Helmut found it amusing. The petite chuckle made an appearance, his fingertips ghosting over the part of your lower lips; he was as amused by your impatience as he was enthralled by the youthfulness of the gesture. "Shh, ljubavi, I will make it feel better," his accent as thick as clover honey and just as saccharine.

The first movements were tentative, brief and so light, the demanding moan slipped out of your mouth along with a growl of frustration. You felt continuous chuckling, slight stubble rasping along the sides your thighs; you felt him pick up pace and steady his hot hands on your hips as you attempted to trash against the overwhelming stimulation your pussy was receiving.

His moans, loud and wet, drove you closer to the edge like a drunk drove a Ferrari; Helmut's skill was unparalleled but it lacked precision as he lost himself in the moment just as much as you.

"Fuck, fuck, I'm- I'm so close," you managed to grunt out before the crescendo hit, eyes rolling back into your skull as the influx of more, more, more hit every nerve ending in your body. You could do little more than rest your legs on his shoulders as the noble man, the quiet storm lapped up every drop of your release.

He made the inside of you weak.

In seconds, Helmut was back on top of you, grinding his arousal into you desperately, almost begging for it and all you could do was let your body respond, mimic your lover, clench around nothing just as you felt him twitch.

"Tell me you're mine," he demanded hooking one of your legs over his hip, eyes boring into yours with everything in them plain on display. It was a terrifying thing: as if your heart had suddenly grown legs, stood up and walked out into the bare, wide world, open for all to see. "Ti moa, skaži eto," his native tongue made his voice even more hoarse, you couldn't resist anymore.

"I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours," you chanted the words like a prayer, hoping he'd be merciful - and he is. No, there's only a hidden tenderness in his hands as he drives into your with increasing force that shakes you and makes your core quiver, igniting your flesh once again like the color red; it's messy and it's sloppy and you're barely aware of Helmut muttering something into the crook of your neck as you feel yourself clench down on him with a choked moan.

"Fuck," hearing him, the polite composed man, bite the end of his own orgasm into a curse made a wave of magenta hot rush travel through your body at lightning speed, his cock pulsating and coating you, claiming you from inside out so sweetly you couldn't resist a shallow gasp into his cheek, a gasp he mirrored as his own oversensitive flesh was once more assaulted by your combined lust.

The tide of his breathing was high; both of you spent yet still drunk on the newfound sense of togetherness. It was clear as a summer's day that in your arms laid a man who'd once lost something important and you - you were a someone who's never had anything of significance and perhaps, this time each other's arms would let you both keep whatever it was that you missed.

#helmut zemo x y/n #helmut zemo x you #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo smut #baron zemo x reader #baron zemo smut #baron zemo x you #baron zemo x y/n #zemo smut #zemo x reader #zemo x you #bun writes #baron zemo #zemo #i am KNEELING

481 notes · View notes

ptergwen · 3 years

Text

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland au #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland request #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader

469 notes · View notes