#like you are the Reason I refuse to let it show until it's genuinely unbearable and unbearable for me is triple what it is for you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

knowlesian · 2 years

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THIS ONE IS A G E N U I N E REQUEST i mean sure so was the unhinged izzy one but this one i mean for gentle and good reasons, not weird scuzzy little sad idiot man ones.

anyway has anyone seen the gifset contrasting “i could be family”/the goodbye/jim’s return?

i only ask because i need to see the quietest love song play out in full without swapping between tabs.

How’d you find me?

I just followed a trail of twigs... and footprints.

I’ve seen you get lost on the ship sometimes.

oh yeah, buckle up. i’m going full gnaw this like old bubblegum mode from MOMENT ONE today, and i’m not even starting with a scene i mentioned in the half-genuine request, half stubborn refusal to ever let the framing device bit die; these two deserve it. until they get an official ship name (...and maybe even honestly after? when i fall, i fall hard, and as i said: i do so love to commit to the bit) i will continue to call them my muppet babies.

look. i’m not gonna say the writers were subtle here; what i will say is, sometimes you don’t need to be subtle to punch me in the fucking heart.

...also to be a good writer and make your point very well without writing a secret code to discern why izzy is Like That in his word choice about ed’s breakup self-help book era, but the heart-punching is sort of my main focus here. izzy makes me want to write unhinged meta so i can poke at his dumb sad brain to see if maybe i can discern the source of his inability to take a fuckin’ chill pill (or a dick, as that is His Whole Weird Hangup, see: dickclouds) and maybe fix it? if not that, then mock him a lot.

jim and olu make me want to write unhinged meta because they are so, so unbearably gentle and revolutionary for it that when i think about them, i feel like maybe i’m dreaming.

they make me so unhinged the izzy shit looks like nothing. it is known that i am Deeply Normal and Fine about izzy; i am absolutely feral about these two. though neither of them need me to and jim in particular might find the challenge refreshing, i would fight a bear for them, your honor. a bear from space. with lasers.

fuck you, hypothetical space bear with your fucking space lasers, i will say. what did you say about my babies? i will SEE YOU OUTSIDE and not in the loving way i will see the entire team of monster/lighthouses who created and then brought this show to life outside. in the “i’m gonna die, i can’t fucking fight a normal bear and then there’s the LASERS?” way.

...right! textual analysis, i said.

there’s an obvious joke at play. jim is having an Emo Moment, and vico plays this first bit of the scene to convey that, in way in a fun, subtle way i really love; when olu first approaches, they don’t look at him and deliver their question to the vague middle distance, Woe and Burden starting to settle back onto their shoulders.

they are back in their original non-muppet movie context, and in this world when your half-orange rolls up to try and take your emotional temperature you don’t turn to look at people when you say something vaguely badass and dramatic.

and since in those sorts of canons, you don’t get a practical answer to those kinds of questions, olu’s deeply muppet explanation about the granular details of how he found jim is even funnier than it would be if he said it to anybody other than maybe izzy. subverting expectation is one of the general staples of comedy, so there’s that box checked; jim turning to face olu as they give the affectionate/exasperated response that they’ve seen olu get lost on the goddamned ship is also funny.

but then here’s the not subtle but so good heart punching part. olu, who gets lost in the ship, never has any trouble finding jim. he follows the twigs and their footprints, until he finds the heart that beats out the same rhythm as his own, and reminds jim they don’t have to exist in this world alone if they don’t want to.

this is why i love jim just appearing out of nowhere when they return to finally kiss the living daylights out of olu’s beautiful face so i can scream and kick my feet with glee every single time i watch it: i know, the linear time muppets among us are still blowing their stacks over this, but i’m a galaxy brain muppet. olu can always find jim; it stands to reason jim can always find olu. that’s just the way it works, when you’re two halves of an orange meant to make a whole, even if you have to either bend time or teleport to get there. so you teleport! rules on how you bridge the distance are more like guidelines when you decide to take the risk and allow your heart to beat in a chest that isn’t your own; wherever one of you goes, there the other one will eventually be. to speak in the love language of two other big ol’ dopes who make an orange together and also own my heart: that’s the dot in the i. it’s jeremy freaking bearimy, baby.

which brings me to:

She’s a lot. But she’s my only family.

Well, look. If you wanted... I could be family.

“if you wanted.” oh, olu. a man who probably holds community dearest, but keeps respect and autonomy nestled close enough they’re an indistinguishable part of the desire to bring people into the light where he’s so, so comfortable. i want to be your family jim, of course i want to—but do you want me to be? this is why someone like jim allowed olu to speak for them, before they put together the words to do so for themselves. because he loves jim with all his wonderful heart, and still he asks: what do you want? what would make you happy? those things have just as much value to me as getting to hold you close and call you mine.

there is an ache deep in my heart when i ask myself this question: how does a man who was named by people who knew the words to their own songs and had the space to learn how to let them ring out loud find himself in a place where piracy was his only recourse, and jim his only family in sight?

(please oh please, in the s2 i refuse to accept could ever not be inevitable, with my whole goddamned muppet heart, i would like to meet some of olu’s first family. many of the answers i come up with when i ask myself that terrible question are ones that say this would be impossible, but yet: again and again, like olu, i choose to believe the world can be kinder if i throw my heart against the bars of the cage, and grab at every piece of joy i can until they can’t fucking stop me from finding out what’s outside.)

what i want aside, and whatever happened between then and now, here olu is: planted amidst the citrus trees, food in his belly from his welcome into the heart of jim’s childhood. offering, not demanding: i could be family, too, if you wanted me to. we could be family. we sing the same song. our stories are different, the paths we walked to get to this moment are different, but i hear you. and as olu leans in, heart in his beautiful, kind eyes: he reflects the world back as jim sees it, joyously singing from the same hymnal.

his warmth says, even here, where they used to call you another name and are still having trouble holding as fast as you might like to not doing so anymore, i know you are jim: jim, who has never been anything but. who trusted me to hold their truth in my steady hands and speak for them; oh, how i see you.

i see you, in all your complications, all your flaws and your faults, your glories and your triumphs: i see you. i don’t lie to myself, because love based upon keeping the truth locked away can never last, but i love you because of, not in spite of. i love it all: all of it is you. unconditional and true.

this sort of love, olu’s easy, accepting love, is the best definition of holy i will ever be able to give.

(also, they nearly kiss and the way they frame olu’s 10000000% teal earring is CHURLISH. AND. INSUBORDINATE. i get it, jim: teal’s my favorite color now, too. how could it not be? listen to the way this man says cake!!!!)

is it now painfully obvious olu is the character i actually love best? not just like, but love. because he is. i love everyone in this silly/genius intersectional pirate bar (even you, dizzy izzy) if only because i choose to extend that even the worst of us, when it comes down to it: i hold people accountable, but if i stop believing everyone yet drawing breath has the ability to be better than they were yesterday and even become someone i might want to call my home, i think i’ll probably have to relocate to a cave in the proverbial hinterlands, never to return.

i think olu understands this; when their moment is interrupted and jim decides the next part of their journey needs to take place alone, olu doesn’t even try to dissuade them. his love is the fire at the heart of the lighthouse, burning bright and steady. wherever jim goes, there they are. and there olu’s love shall be. jim carries it with them, now, a twin flame burning alongside their own. a beacon, guiding them home.

i want to admit something before i talk about the hat slap, because that and jim slapping at the dumb little cup and practically yelling SCATTER! SERPENTINE, SERPENTINE! as they dash off to do something stupid are my handkerchief/Boot Touch for these two.

it’s about the boot touch. if you had asked me before they casually confirmed taika improv’d it, i would have sworn up and down it had to be scripted. it’s so good! it’s the boot version of darcy’s hand clenching and it’s a visual joke i think about all the time. they knocked boots! they knocked BOOTS. that’s so stupid and funny and good. so yeah, i would have said to you: no way that wasn’t scripted. it’s too all-around perfect.

BUT: FUCKIN. TAIKA. nope! i would have been a big old dummy and deeply wrong.

with that in mind: i’m gonna guess the hat slap (and honestly, the cup too) were probably just vico and samson being ridiculous and unfairly good at this. if i start talking about how this entire group of actors is collectively a blessing and a joy i will never fucking shut up but let me just say: finding people who just get their characters and are funny as fuck themselves is the magic ingredient for a cast like this.

(still can’t believe nobody planned that damn boot thing out in advance. i mean: they KNOCKED BOOTS. why is everyone involved in this working at their absolute peak!!! it is very cool!!!! thanks everyone!!!! love you!!!! see you in the denny’s parking lot!!!!)

so: the hat slap.

do me a favor: imagine jim’s response to anyone else on the crew getting up in their space, let alone batting at the brim of their hat. got it? good. keep that hilarious shitshow pinned while i contrast it with what happens with olu.

jim’s eyes flick down (the sense that they both want to go in for the kiss again but share the understanding it’s once again, just not the right time: ooof. so good. i’m SO MAD AT THESE TWO) and then as olu walks away, they smile.

like, a wholeass no holds barred actual smile. full-on little kid who just got a gold star on the sticker chart impossible to repress pleased grin. it’s so sweet. we found out this episode the vibe that jim never learned the value of a good afternoon nap is because their ability to be a kid who just chills out, safe to screw around and do silly shit died an abrupt death with their family, and here’s olu: bringing big dumb muppet fun into their life, right up until the last second.

the regret and resolve come right after but now jim has olu’s promise of safe harbor stashed away with a kiss owed and it’s off to be badass with jackie (how fucking great is leslie in this, by the way?) until olu’s beacon guides them home.

Why’d you give it away?

I, um... I missed you.

the way olu’s eyes light up when he first sees jim, like he’s just been handed everything he ever wanted and never thought he’d get. i just can’t with samson, i can’t.

before ed rolled up to save izzy’s dumb ass from being thrown overboard, olu was told by the ragtag group of dummies who have also become his home they wanted him to be their captain. he had seen his true value laid out in no uncertain terms, before the chance to lead was taken away from him just as fast as it was offered.

he might say he doesn't want the job, but he could do it. he could do it well and olu knows that, but now he’s not going to be captain after all and worse: he still doesn’t have jim. he’s been pining for the runtime of nearly two whole episodes for them and he can't bear to be in the space where jim’s absence looms largest at the same time all he wants is to go back to sleeping there. that’s where olu can touch the echoes of home and remind himself: he had to wait for jim once already to find it before, he can do it again.

the thing olu knows that makes him so wonderful and able to see people clearly and love them just as hard as ever is that as long as he’s open and looks for it, once he finds the people he’d like to fill it with home is never doing more than waiting for your return, arms open and cake ready.

and now he has jim who was in the room they share literally waiting for his return. i think there was a piece of olu that fell just a little bit more in love there, in a way he didn’t even know was possible. olu is steady; a hearthfire, the kind of warmth you can depend on. he is so often waiting for people to come home to him; and he wants them to. it’s who he is, but the difference between “i was waiting for you, and now you’re back” to “you waited for me; this is a moment when i needed you to comfort me so much it made me ache, and you were just magically here” is just... so very deeply unfair. i mean, jesus fuck, leave me here to weep, etc etc etc. SO unfair.

also unfair, jim kissing his fucking face off and launching both of them back onto the bed together.

there’s this deeply cool and genuinely beautiful part in the bible where they take a little break to do some slam poetry about sex, called the songs of songs. (it’s also about the beauty of having dark skin; i would lay down my life these are both things the writers know about, particularly because there are places it gets Arguably Gay, too.) it’s referred to as the song of solomon as well, alongside a handful of other things, but i’ve always been partial to the emotional resonance of how the first one hits me.

sing not just a song; sing a song of songs. sing not just your song, but the song of every other person alive, all raised together in joyful, unified noise.

the part people tend to know because it’s the part most writers like best is “let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” and no shade to a very good line, but i just want to throw down a later verse that gets less play and deserves so much more.

His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven / His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set / His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh / His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires / His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars / His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

first, this is obviously olu as fuck, because he is not just a snack he is the whole damn meal and dessert besides (respectful).

but: this is my beloved, and this is my friend. usually when people say “oh, the sex isn’t the point” it’s to hide their discomfort and sweep sex had by people they don’t understand in ways they don’t understand off as a sort of niche interest, a conversation piece and not someone’s source of joy.

the sex may not be the point, but it is now Part of It and olu is the little spoon because this isn’t izzy’s sad weird need for tenderness found only through completing all the intricate rituals needed to even begin to fumble uselessly towards grace, and then heading out back to beat metaphors about dicks and daddy issues and god with sticks until they cry.

that’s the old world. this is the new: when it comes to these two, saying the sex isn’t the point here means that before jim and olu ever had a truly excellent first kiss and adorably spooned, jim trusted olu to know the words they wanted to say and how to say them. this is my beloved; this is my friend. wherever they go, there i am.

as with everything on this show, it’s all the point. nana blessed their union in the heart of her church, but olu offered to be family on even holier ground still: the ground jim grew in. all those rough edges, the disappointments and pain that shaped them, refashioned into the place where olu looked at jim and said the words in their hearts out loud: we could be family, but only if you want to.

the old life came back to swallow the new, then, the old fears and vendettas and patterns. but they’re home now, and so jim’s song becomes: i want to. i want you, and together they consecrate yet another space.

in the place they made a home, together they sing a song of songs. they sing it out, and they sing it strong.

...so yeah anyway. anybody seen it?

#our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #oluwande boodhari #jim jimenez #my ofmd meta #MY MUPPET BABIES #O! I LOVE THEM #lol this is even longer than the izzy shit whatever i regret nothing #feels AT ELEVEN #i love them your honor i would fight an army of those damn space bears for them #there are two vibes to this: the holly holy sections and the jackie and wilson sections #...no okay there's also one come healing section #i'm MAKING JESUS SHIT ABOUT SEX AGAIN #this time it's healthy don't worry #many thanks to @tothetrashwhereibelong for a million reason but rn shepherding this into the world with me

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pastxlscorp · 3 years

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Bully! Mitsuya Fanfic (pt.3)

Chapter III: Abidance

✿ Word Count: 3.2k

✿ Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x reader

✿ Topics covered: (Eventual) Enemies to lovers trope, Hakkai POV, Y/N POV, Mitsuya POV, tsundere-Mitsuya, bully! Mitsuya, fem. reader, minor manga spoilers, slight angst

Awakening from his slumber, he found that the woman was no longer taking up space in his bed. He heaved a sigh of relief, only to, unfortunately, see a message from an unknown number on his phone saying “Text me when you’re free ;)” Ignoring the text, he found he had a message from Hakkai and remembered that he had abandoned him to sleep with that damn woman. However, Hakkai didn’t confront him about it, but instead acted as if nothing happened.

🗨️ Hakkai: Is the party still on for today? (Sent 2:00am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t feeling my best, I should have let you know. (Sent 10:00am)

🗨️ Hakkai: No hard feelings. Ya feeling better now Taka-chan? (Sent 10:01am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Not really, but it’ll pass. What’d you end up doing yesterday after I left? (Sent 10:02am)

Picking up on the subtle curiosity of Mitsuya’s text, it became clear to Hakkai that he did see him with you. As much as he admired Mitsuya, the anger building inside of him got the best of him. Therefore, in response, he chose a reply that he knew would get Mitsuya boiling.

🗨️ Hakkai: Caught Y/N outside of your class, had a wonderful lunch with her! She’s so nice, Taka-chan! Why are ya so mean to her? (Sent 10:04am)

Vigorous fingers typed in reply.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Why the fuck were you hanging around that slut? She’s just gonna try and get in your pants. What did she say to you? (Sent 10:04am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Hakkai? Hello? (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Sorry Taka-chan, I’m back. She didn’t say nuthin bad, actually she was so sweet. She saw I was alone and we both had some tea together back at her place. Ended up sleeping over, I’m still here actually! (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: BACK AT HER PLACE? I told you, she’s just trying to get in your pants and you let her win! I can’t believe you let a whore like her win you over, Hakkai! Where the fuck is your brain? She probably was enjoying every minute of your sorry ass. (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Who said we slept together, Taka? (Sent 10:05am)

Silence enveloped the room.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Sorry… I just assumed that’s what you meant by sleeping over. (Sent 10:07am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Awh, it’s okie Taka, I know you were only looking out for me. (Sent 10:07am)

Absolutely, looking out for Hakkai. That’s what this was, that’s what he was doing. There couldn’t have been any other reason why he was so upset at the thought of you sleeping together. He was just being a good friend.

-----

┃ “Y/N!” the hoarse voice spoke to you, feeling the smooth cloth of his jacket pressed against your face as you bumped into him.

You looked up only to recognize Hakkai, kind thoughts flooding your mind, diminishing your anger stemming from your interaction with Mitsuya moments before. He grinned at you giddily, eyes relaxing any sort of tension left in your body. You slowly began to forget why you were mad and allowed yourself to indulge in his presence.

┃ “Good afternoon Hakkai! Waiting for Mitsuya?”

┃ “Mhm, you takin’ Designer 101 too, right?”

┃ “Yup! How come you aren’t taking it? You’re very fashionable, y’know?”

┃ “You’re too kind,” He giggled, his grin beginning to somehow grow wider on his cheeks as he raised his hand to pat your head.

┃ “I’m serious! Why don’t you join the class? It’s not too late, the second semester is about to start!” You eagerly pushed on, rejoicing in the positive energy he emitted.

┃ “ ‘m not really into making clothes, just showing them off...” He let out a hefty chuckle before getting cut off by you.

┃ “You don’t have to be good at making them! Some students choose to learn how to stylize different clothing and patterns, it’s all about the latest trends.”

┃ “Really?” He went silent for a few moments, smile morphing into a straight line as he contemplated your words carefully. Not to fret, as his smile quickly returned as he said: “Well then, might have to ask Taka-chan to help me sign up!”

You both shared a laugh and began to discuss the enrollment process in order for Hakkai to join the class-- if he were to drop another class, what class would he drop, or would he simply add it to his current schedule? While your conversation was nothing more than an innocent developing friendship, unbeknownst to you, Mitsuya had witnessed it all and declared it once more another betrayal. You were such a slut, flirting with anyone and everyone. Irrationality began to consume him-- instead of seeing your interaction with Hakkai for what it truly was, a genuine developing friendship, his brain refused to comprehend your behavior with other men. He never got to the level of comfortability you had with Takemichi, and he had lost the sense of ease you had with him to Hakkai and god, god did it piss him off. Unfortunately for that kohai, she was just another doll for him to play with just until he could get your attention again. Even a single drop of your attention, your attachment, it was enough to drive him for weeks just to be able to be near you again. Your kind words squeezing his heart tighter and tighter the more you spoke, your laughter ringing in his ears at a corny joke he told you during club meetings, it enveloped him into infatuation which later developed into a larger feeling. Such a large feeling over the progressing months that when he began bullying you, when your lack of presence and absences during meetings began to grow, an emptiness began to root in his heart, waiting for you to touch it once more and let it grow.

He could go on and on listing things about you-- the way he loved your sense of fashion, the way he loved your sense of humor, your compassion to helping others, your intellect that allowed you to read everyone like a book, everyone except him. Why couldn’t you see that he didn’t hate you? Oh, but that jealousy, the first time he’d admit that it was jealousy, it gripped him so tightly around his neck that it felt suffocating. Every shove, every clasp of your hand, your wrist, your chain, your chain, it made his heart shutter seeing that dead watery look in your eye, but your attention was like a drug that he just had to keep getting more of. It would never be enough to satisfy him, not until he could call you his and you would call him yours. He pitied using them, he really did, but he needed someone to satiate his needs. He was a womanizer, after all-- if one left he would just charm another into his bed. They all had high respect for Mitsuya, his intellect, his charm, his skill, and his kindness. Yet no matter how hard he tried, all those women, they were never you and they could never try and be you. He found that he no longer sought sex for his own pleasure anymore, but for your own, pretending so desperately that the one trembling out of pleasure beneath him was you. Imagining, no, fantasizing that he was making you happy and leaving you satisfied.

Upon seeing your interaction, he quickly left with his kohai for their own exchange, leaving Hakkai unfortunately confused as he waved you goodbye, patiently waiting for his friend to meet him. You were still on campus because you had taken additional extracurricular activities to build up your transcript to make up for your absences in Mitsuya’s Home-economics club. At first, you attempted to make it through the club meetings but he made every single one as unbearable as possible. The second semester, could it come any sooner? Hakkai, too focused on organizing his schedule with you previously, had failed to notice Mitsuya leaving with a woman. He waited, he waited, and he waited, coming to a good hour until he realized Mitsuya wouldn’t have left him waiting for this long without a heads up. He looked at his phone, expecting some sort of contact-- a phone call, a message, anything. All that awaited him was several unread messages from group chats and friends, none of them from Taka-chan. He sighed, placing his phone away just as he noticed your presence once more, planting a fake smile on his face to disguise his obvious disappointment. Unfortunately for him, his smile only instantly alerted you something was wrong.

┃ “Hakkai? Why are you still here, weren’t you supposed to be meeting Mitsuya?”

┃ His phony smile stood in place as tears began to fill his eyes. He croaked: “T-taka-chan left me. Do you think he’s mad at me for sumthin’, Y/N? I don’t ‘member doin’ anything.”

You instantly rushed over to comfort him, witnessing what appeared to be an intimidating giant become undone into a fragile teddy bear at the thought he had upset his best friend. Your disdain only kept growing for Mitsuya, first it was his lack of maturity during class, and now he had abandoned his best friend for whatever reason it was. Hakkai was a sweetheart, you couldn’t imagine what he may have done to upset someone. Therefore, you came to the conclusion Mitsuya had thrown a tantrum of sorts and took it out on him. It irked you, however, Mitsuya always remained respectful and loving to his best friend in addition to Yasuda-san, so you couldn’t help but raise your brow wondering what got him so upset for him to entirely ditch his friend. Pushing those thoughts aside, you placed all of your focus on bringing a smile back to Hakkai’s face, gently rubbing his back and placing your forehead against his temple as he crouched over in defeat. You desperately attempted to think of anything to cheer him up.

┃ “Ah, how about some tea?”

┃ “...Tea?”

┃ “Listen, I have absolutely no idea what you like and I want to calm you down so-”

┃ “Tea sounds good.” He said softly, a small smile returning to his face.

You escorted Hakkai comfortably back to your dorm, located on the east wing of the campus. Women and men could go to each other’s dorms, they just had gender-separated wings because it was just easier to contain the chaos if everyone was allowed to sleep with their girlfriend or boyfriend. The boys had their dormitory on the west side, thus you noticeably got some glances as you strolled with Hakkai. Mitsuya was always surrounded by Hakkai and Yasuda-san, so obviously most of your classmates were shocked to see you hanging out with his right-hand man. Were you both sleeping together? Ooh what a scandal (not). Although you didn’t mind the glanes too much, Hakkai on the other hand made sure to shoot down them all with a nasty side glare, quickly causing them to turn their cheek. It was a cute sight after all, seeing how you subconsciously had reached for his hand and began to rub gentle circles on it in order to ease him, which succeeded in doing so. Once you arrived at your dorm, you opened the door and gave him a show of jazz hands as you toured him around your dorm. Your dorm wasn’t the largest compared to his and Mitsuya’s dorm, which made him realize the privilege of not having a financially aided dorm. Your queen bed comfortably rested on the right side of the room, covered with a curtain and fairy lights on the wall behind it. Your desk was not too far away, maybe a good 15 feet across your bed, not too messy but not too neat. It was obvious you were working on something, as there were papers still out and scattered but the rest of the desk had the pens, pencils, and stapled papers sorted in a clean pile. Your pinboard was half-covered with your calendar, cluttered with small sticker reminders while the other half was your schedule, nicely decorated with washi tape sticking it to the board. Next to your bed was a wooden closet and you led him into the cramped kitchen that made him gasp, seeing how you make such a tight space so comfortable and presentable. You had a small glass coffee table in the middle, a small fridge cramped in the kitchen underneath a cupboard and next to a cabinet holding the sink on top. Next to that was a stove with a microwave on top, both color-coordinated black, contrasting the white of the room. You guided him over to the table and motioned for him to sit and he obediently did. Walking over to the countertop holding an old-school kettle, you used it to strain and brew the tea. Gleefully, you dropped a few ice cubes in his glass and carefully poured his tea and then your own, sitting across from him at the table. He took a sip of the tea you had placed in front of him, smiling not at the delightful taste but the awaiting face you had fixated, putting your hands under your chin waiting for a response.

┃ “This tea is delightful, thank you Y/N.” He said warmly and you basked in his praise.

┃ “Ah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t… really get visitors. It’s nice to have someone over.” You replied, your face beginning to glow a light pink as your lips formed into a slight frown, embarrassed to admit how you had no friends.

┃ “Mm, I should be the one thankin’ you,” The softness in his voice made your crouched posture fix itself as you looked up to him. “You made me sum tea, opened me to your home, all ‘cuz I was sad and overthinkin’. You ain’t hafta do that, but you did anyway. I appreciate ya!” His iconic grin was now back where it belonged as his eyes glazed over you in pure adoration. You smiled in return, both returning to take a sip of your tea.

Hours passed and he was still at your house, you both gossiping and talking like old friends. You discussed your classmates, praising them and disapproving of the behavior of others. He began to confide in you about what he witnessed during his time as the second-division’s vice captain. You eagerly listened to him as he described to you his tales with his brother and his amazing sister Yuzuha, anything and everything was up for debate. At least, almost everything. Despite being the main reason he was so upset, you and Hakkai had not discussed Mitsuya’s treatment of you. He was mentioned in a few gang stories, but it seemed as if Hakkai was opting out of speaking about him out of respect for you. However, his head began to slump, implying he was tired. You grabbed your phone, which had been placed upside down on the coffee table, and looked at the time and saw it was well past midnight. You leaned over to rub Hakkai’s shoulder and you gasped when his head turned back upright, alert as if he just remembered something. Drunk on drowsiness, he began to speak:

┃ “Mmh, y’know Mitsuya used to talk about you a lot. Always went on about this pretty girl who was awfully sweet, really smart…” He trailed off, fighting off the sleep that clung desperately to his eyelids. “He never gave me a name but after club meetings when I woulds wait for him, he would tell me about his conversations. I always saw him looking at ya. What did ya do to make him so pissed off?” Although he had no malicious-intent in his questioning, it was enough to cause goosebumps all over your body.

┃ “I didn’t do anything, ‘kai. Really, nothing different happened that day. All of the sudden, the next day during his club he humiliated me in front of everyone and then made me stay after hours to yell at me even more.” You went silent for a moment, before your curiosity got the best of you and you questioned: “He used to talk about me? Are you sure?”

┃ Ignoring your question, he replied to your initial response. “You didn’t do anythin’ different at all that day?”

┃ You contemplated his question carefully, before realizing the one event that was an outlier to the rest. “I was waiting for my friend outside campus gates that day. He offered to wait with me but I insisted he didn’t, mainly because my friend had said Mitsuya wasn’t very fond of him so it was better if he didn’t see him.”

┃ “Who’s the friend?”

┃ “Hanagaki Takemichi.”

┃ The tired man in front of you took a full minute to process your sentence before bursting out and crying of laughter a few moments later. You looked at him, pure confusion coating your body as he continued to sob. Finally, after a few minutes, he wiped his eyes and sat back up, gleaming at you. “Well that’s your problem, Mitsuya fucking hates Takemichy. Probably spied on ya because he was worried, saw Takemichy, and boom-- he got jealous AHAHA!” He went back to crying of laughter, leaving you a few moments to yourself to process his words.

It was embarrassing to admit how Hakkai was half-asleep in front of you and somehow managed to put together your puzzle of confusion together months after said incident had happened, in under 20 minutes. However, you couldn’t find yourself disagreeing with his theory. Suddenly, Hakkai stopped laughing and looked up at you, all serious.

┃ “Now wait… that’s not funny! He’s been pushing ya around all the time just cuz he’s jealous of you being with other guys?! That’s fucked up! ‘M gonna beat his ass, Y/N! Just for you!”

You now began laughing, taking Hakkai’s hand in yours over the glass countertop and tapping it gently.

┃ “That won’t be necessary, ‘kai. How about we come up with a solution?”

┃ “My solution is beating his a-”

┃ “A non-physical solution.”

┃ He went silent for a few moments, looking away from you to the window to think. You could tell he thought of something when a smirk began to plaster itself on his face. “How about we test our theory?”

┃ “Elaborate.”

┃ “If that pain in my ass is done with whatever it is he’s doing, there was supposta be a party tomorrow. Not at our dorm, but our friend’s. You might have heard of him, Manjiro Sano?”

You responded with silence.

┃ “Mikey. The Invincible Mikey.”

┃ “Not ringing any bells.”

┃ “Brother of Emma Sano. Brother of Izana.”

┃ “Emma Sano is so nice!”

┃ “Captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang, Y/N.”

┃ “Oh.”

┃ “Point is, he’s having a party tomorrow. We could get some revenge, I bring you as my date~”

┃ “Won’t that make him angri-

┃ “That’s what revenge is.”

┃ “Why don’t I just talk with him?”

┃ “Has he tried talking to you?”

┃ “...no.”

┃ “I rest my case.”

Silence enveloped the room once more. It wasn’t an awkward silence, no, it was quite a comfortable silence actually as he patiently awaited your response and allowed you to process and think.

┃ “When is the party exactly?”

✿ tags: @haiq-trash @blackmysticalsimp @the2ndl @bren-heron @delicatejudgecopcowboy @skiwalkers

✿ a.n. // First of all, thank you so much for 102 followers <3 I appreciate the support being given to me! I would like to address one thing, however, please don't rush me to write! I've gotten very kind messages of support but others have been demanding more of me and it's important to remember that I have classes, chores, a social life, and many other things happening. I love writing but rushing me makes it unenjoyable and it won't be my best work. My goal for this ongoing fanfic is to post weekly. Just a little ted-talk there, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter though! I had such a fun time writing it :)

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universalistotalis · 3 years

Text

You fool

Gojo Satoru x Fem reader

Angst

1.7k words

Masterlist!!!

“Do you Y/n, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?” Your eyes glowed as you looked at the love your life standing in front of you. This feeling of elation was something you never thought of experiencing in the past but here you are, fueled by passion and love for the person made for you.

“I do.” Your voice echoed in the venue.

Gojo Satoru’s dazzling eyes burned on your form as he too was fueled with the same passion and love for only you. The both of you had been through so much together. And as his sight was fixated with the image of your eyes, he can’t help but have a trip down to memory lane.

La la la la

La la la la la la ~

Gojo’s voice echoed the halls playfully as you walked down the makeshift aisle lined with a red carpet in one of the hotels you both went to. The sides were designed with white and pastel colors of cloth, dotted with pink roses and yellow daisies. No one was around the marriage booth exhibit so the both of you, being the wacky couple that you were, barged in and played pretend.

Although this wasn’t pretend for Gojo. He may be smiling as if he was about to share a joke but his heart was beating like crazy while he’s looking at you, walking to him, who’s standing in front of the printed altar. He was singing the Bridal Chorus but stopped as you made your way in front of him.

“You’re so damn beautiful, babe.” He whispered as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

He was delighted as you blushed dangerously at his words. After all these years, you were still affected by his charms.

“Y-you’re not bad yourself.” You stuttered.

He laughed loudly at how cute you were being. It amazed him at how comfortable you were in his presence now. In the past, you could barely look at him in the eye, let alone talk to him... but now look at you!

Your chuckles mixed with his in the silence. After catching your breath, your eyes scanned the vicinity before pulling one of his hands. “C’mon, Satoru. We have to go.”

You expected him to agree and walk away with you to another place but he held his place, a foreign smile formed on his lips. It was not the playful smirk you were so accustomed to seeing, but it was so sincere, so full of love that you stared at it for a while. His hands removed the blindfold that covered his eyes and you silently gasped at the sparkles in them as the light illuminated the magnificent pale blue orbs. Then, he encased your hands in his before he took a deep breath and said…

“I love you. I thank all the gods everyday because out of the billions of people they built, they led me to you. I’m so glad I found you.”

“I mean you have six eyes so…” You snorted, even though you felt electrifying tingles from your head all the way to the tips of your toes.

He laughed again and hissed. “Stop ruining the moment!”

“Okay, okay. Continue, my lord.” You bowed respectfully, playfully.

He chuckled once more and hooked your chin on his fingers. “This. The way you make me laugh, the way you make me this happy, it’s enough… more than enough for me to stay and fight for you. Sometimes I wonder if it ever is legal for someone to be so perfect. You understand all parts of myself that I don't even notice. When you look at me, you don’t see that all powerful being everyone is talking about. You see me… the real me.”

A sigh escaped his lips, his eyes gloss over his thoughts. “I can never let them take you away from me. They’ve taken so much already and I am not going to just stand here and lose you.”

“Satoru—“

You suddenly felt a pang in your chest and the rapid fatigue overcome your body. After all the fun and games, you two were still in hiding. Hiding from the world, hiding from his family, both of which would never see you as a worthy match for the most powerful sorcerer of all time. He was destined for someone greater, someone better, someone of another godly descent! They didn’t care if she wasn’t born yet or was still wandering the streets of the world, clueless of his existence, but they are sure as hell that it wouldn’t and can’t be someone like you. Over their dead bodies!

Sometimes you believed them. You let their words and judgments cloud your mind but before they can take over, his voice guides you out.

His grip tightened on your fingers, eyes finding yours and holding your gaze. “I will not lose you. You’re the only right thing in my world and I intend to keep you with me for as long as I shall live. You showed me the love I never thought I deserved. You showed me immense kindness that I never thought someone could possess. You made me believe in the good. You gave me a reason to live everyday with a purpose in my head. You keep me sane. Alive. Free.”

“Oh Satoru.” You smiled through your tears at his revelation.

“I’d choose to spend all my infinities with you. No pun intended.” He joked, even when there were tears brimming in his eyes.

“I’d gladly spend them with you too.” You whispered, marveling at the warmth of his hands, wiping the tears away, erasing all the pain of the past, of the judgments and hurt…

“Stay with me.” He whispered back but you hear the tone of desperation in his voice. He was no fool. He could see you cracking at all the comments of his family and strangers alike. He would always thank you for being strong and for holding on…

You sighed as his lips found yours. Warmth coursed through your veins as you felt his soft breath brush your face. This is what home felt like. Suddenly, his tongue darted out to lick your bottom lip, asking you to give him entrance to the warm interior. And you did. It was a desperate kiss of tongue and teeth clashing, of heavy breaths and tight grips. There were no inhibitions, no doubts. You both were so in love with each other, refusing to let one another go, refusing to leave each other’s sides…

But eventually, both of you faded. There were trying times, too much of trying times actually… and you two are but victims to emotions, and it came to a point where love just wasn’t enough. So you let each other go, breathe, and fly away.

“You may now kiss the bride.” The pastor announced.

Gojo had to look away from the sight of you landing your lips on another, other than his. He thought he was going to be alright when the both of you agreed to go on separate ways. He reasoned that you both needed to grow in your respective fields, to grow as a person. He deluded himself that you could only do this when you both were away from each other. And maybe after, you can both come back to each other's arms but he knew that was too much to ask.

He was the one who kept asking you to shun out the harsh words from everybody even though he knew how much pain you had to endure. Now, he can’t help but feel guilty as he was the one who got swallowed up by those judgments until it ate him whole. It was supposed to be you and him against the world but he turned against you too.

The pain in your eyes were unbearable when he said his goodbyes. What happened to his speeches about making you stay with him? What happened to his promise of protecting you from all the barriers that separated you from one another? What happened to his love for you?

“Gojo sensei.” Megumi called while patted his back. “Are you alright?”

Gojo pushed his dark- rimmed glasses to the bridge of his nose while displaying a playful smirk. “Of course! I’m so happy for her! Look at them! Such a lovely couple!”

His blood boiled at the sight of you. He preferred to be battling cursed spirits than to be in this damned wedding. But he had to see you. He had to see if you were alright. He had to see that you were truly happy without him.

“That should have been me, Megumi.” He whispered to the man beside him.

“You’re crazy, sensei.” Megumi scoffed.

He chuckled. “No, no, I’m serious! I was supposed to propose to her that day! Can you believe it?!"

“Sensei—“

“This ring…” Gojo’s fingers reached for his pocket where he fetched a dazzling, silver, and diamond band with both your names engraved in it. “...is supposed to be resting on her finger, not that trashy one the other bastard got her.”

He sighed. “I never knew why I postponed though. Live in the moment, my ass! I'll do it next time, my ass! I'll make it the grandest, my ass! Look where she is now!"

"Hush!" Megumi's hands flew to his babbling mouth that was shouting all of his regrets.

Gojo's body deflated at the millions of ways he could have done the proposal right even when it's now useless to think of. "Maybe I took her presence for granted. Maybe I thought that she would always be there. Maybe I thought she would never leave. Maybe I thought that she would want to spend all her infinities with me.” His voice faltered at the end as he heard your voice saying the same words.

His eyes closed shut, remembering the promises you made to each other. “She meant it though when she said that. And when she said she loved me. She was so ready to be with me, so ready to fight for me. I’m the fool for letting her go.”

Megumi’s eyes filled with concern for his teacher, much like an older brother. He has never seen him at this state, all weak to the knees.

“Say, Megumi- chan.” Gojo’s lopsided smirk appeared again but everybody knows he’s not in the mood for any jokes.

“Yeah?”

“Does she look genuinely happy?” He asked, staring into the void.

Megumi’s eyes trailed from Gojo to you, who was smiling dearly at your beloved husband as you shared a dance in this reception. Your eyes were visibly twinkling under the lights and you looked like you can’t see anybody but the person in front of you.

“Yes, she does.” He replied.

“Then, let’s go.” He smiled sadly before sighing defeatedly. The ring was again tucked in his pockets, hidden, never to be seen by you, worn by you, cherished by you.

As he walked out of the doors, he took one last glance at the love of his life.

“If I could, I’d carve all the roads of infinity to lead you back to me. Maybe by then, I could have a chance with you again. I love you, I always will.”

His footsteps led him away from the venue. Away from you. But his heart stayed in your presence and his mind repeated the same thing over and over again.

Gojo Satoru, you fool.

---

Just painted Gojo Satoru and my head was like, "Why not write angst about this guy?" Lol

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Hope you're all okay!

Reblogs are appreciated! <3

Masterlist!!! Read more here hihihi

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kenganenjoyer · 3 years

Note

Yandere Meguro ? Yandere Hayami? Headcanon

Woooooo my first ask! Sorry I took a bit longer than I thought I would. Meguro and Hayami are a few of my favorites from kengan and I wanted to get their characters right. I hope you enjoy! ^_^

Yandere Meguro and Hayami Headcanons

Yandere Meguro

It’s rare for Meguro to develop close relationships with people. Most of the time he ends up either killing them or scaring them off immediately. You however were the one exception. You didn’t run like the others and despite his bloodlust something in him always held him back. “Just a little longer… I’ll probably kill them tomorrow...” he thought to himself day after day until months had passed and he could no longer imagine a life without you by his side.

Being in a relationship with Meguro certainly has its challenges but as a yandere his temperament and behavior can become much worse and often range from difficult to downright deadly depending on the circumstances.

Meguro is definitely not one to hide his emotions. Both in a good and a bad way.

He’ll happily wrap you up in his arms and nuzzle his head against your face or the crook of your neck while giving you a few sloppy licks and kisses at the same time. He doesn’t care if you’re alone or in public. He loves you and wants you to know that.

On the other hand if he feels like someone is getting too friendly around you he won’t hesitate to try and throw them. It doesn’t matter if he’s in public or if he does it in front of you, he won’t let them off unharmed if they dare to come near his beloved. It takes a lot of time, reassurance, and trust for you to be able to talk him down but eventually he’ll calm down and go back to what you two were doing a few moments before as if nothing happened.

He sees nothing wrong with hurting other people especially if he thinks they’re trying to get between you and him. He has never really had the best moral compass, that is if he even had one to begin with. After all, Katsumasa can always help him cover it up anyways.

He won’t tie you up or lock you in a room but he will follow you EVERYWHERE. At first you think it’s cute. The way he’s always just a few steps behind you, trailing you like a lost puppy. It becomes a lot less cute once you realize he practically never lets you out of his sight and it's nearly impossible to out run him.

The longer you stay with him the more protective and clingy he gets. He has a tendency to pull you closer to himself whenever he wants attention, trapping you in his arms. If you try to push him away he’ll just laugh it off and hold you even closer thinking you’re just playing and definitely not being crushed under his overwhelming strength. You’ll have to help him realize his own strength to avoid getting injured from one of his “cuddling sessions”.

I swear he could probably smell if other people have been near you and if he finds out he’ll sulk and wrap you up in his arms refusing to let you go until you reassure him that it was nothing to worry about.

Flat out rejecting him or trying to leave the relationship is probably the worst thing you can do. Meguro may be used to physical pain but complicated emotional pain is new to him; it hurts, it doesn’t feel good at all, and it won’t go away. He would probably end up cornering you with bloody tears streaming down his face questioning why you would do this to him when he loves you so much.

Meguro is more likely to become violent or hurt you in the heat of the moment in response to the heartbreak and emotional pain so it's crucial to choose your words and actions very carefully in that kind of situation.

Yandere Hayami

On the surface dating Hayami seems pretty normal for the majority of your relationship. He’s a kind, polite man who cherishes you and never fails to show you how much you mean to him. Your relationship couldn’t be better! It’s only by chance that you notice one of the little flaws in his facade and from there everything you knew about the man you loved begins to fall apart bit by bit.

Hayami believes that everything he does is simply out of his love for you. All the pictures he takes without you knowing? He just wants to capture the precious moments he spends with you! The tracking program he secretly set up on your phone? What caring boyfriend wouldn’t want to know his partner is safe. It's all for your sake or at least that’s what he tells himself.

Hayami wouldn’t try to kidnap you or drug you, at least not during the beginning of your relationship. No need to ruin a good thing…. and yet the persistent feeling of wanting to truly have you all to himself slowly starts to grow inside of him until it's nearly unbearable.

Despite his intimidating build, Hayami’s smile and calm demeanor would make you none the wiser when it comes to his yandere side. Sure he acts a bit awkward from time to time but you usually brush it off as nothing. Everyone acts a little weird sometimes, right?

Most of the time he plays his obsessive infatuation off as protectiveness instead. When the two of you are out in public he almost always holds your hand or has his arm around you. It's a sweet and innocent gesture but in reality it only feeds his desire to have you closer to him and away from everyone else.

He gets really anxious if you don’t answer his calls. It drives him crazy and he can’t help but think the worst. He’ll go out of his way to find where you are and secretly follow you just for “safety” reasons of course. When you come home he’ll tell you how worried he was, how much he missed you, and how he was nervous something had happened to you even though he was basically stalking you all day after you wouldn’t answer his first few messages and calls.

He doesn’t necessarily enjoy being mean or hurting others but he’ll do what he has to do. Love and relationships come with sacrifice after all and if it’s for you he’d do just about anything. He just wishes they would stop looking at you and leave you alone and if the only way to communicate that to them is through violence then he won’t turn down a fight.

Hayami would never attack someone in front of you. He wouldn’t want you to worry or scare you so he’ll just wait for the right time to get rid of them. If he gets blood on his clothes he’ll usually just crack a joke about how his brother wanted to have a little last minute practice match.

When you finally piece together that something is clearly off with Hayami and go to confront him he’ll go silent before putting on his signature smile and confessing that everything he’s done was simply because he cared about you. He genuinely believes that you would understand why acted the way he did, why he had to dispose of the people that were only going to get in between you two.

Even if you explain how you feel, Hayami would still be in denial, thinking that his actions are in your best interest and that you are probably just confused or scared. Why else would you try to leave your loving boyfriend behind?

Even if you reject him or try to run away Hayami wouldn’t use force or violence against you unless it was a last resort. He’ll patiently and gently pin you down or carry you back making escape rather futile. That still doesn’t mean he isn’t hurt by your attempts to leave him. Each time you resist or try to run his chest tightens and the emotional pain comes flooding back.

#meguro masaki #hayami masaki #kengan ashura #kengan omega #kenganverse

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444tsumu · 3 years

Note

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

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mobagehelllocal · 4 years

Note

D, E, O, T & U for the Tweels, Leona & Malleus?

A/N: Ohoho... Thank you for requesting!

all characters featured are depicted as 18+

warning: explicit content below cut!

Leona Kingscholar

Dirty Secret:

As his romantic feelings for you began to grow, he grew quite territorial. He was always by your side. There were some days that his gaze would linger on your form more often than not. It was his instincts telling him that you were the perfect mate to bear his cubs.

He would always be more willing to stay close with you, instinctively attempting to brush his scent on you--and make it clear to others that you were his. You probably never realised it, but it happens on days when you’re fertile.

Experience:

Leona isn’t as experienced as people think he is--he knows enough about the mating process and how his own body reacts to women in heat--but male Lions don’t actually have heat nor do they experience ruts.

As a Prince of Afterglow Savanna, he certainly is taught how to pleasure a woman, but he’s never really seen or wanted to have sex. However, as a male lion, he doesn’t get into the mood often... unless you’re in the mood.

Oral:

Leona can be quite the unbearable tease. He loves to watch you fall a part with his fingers and his tongue. He also never actually let’s you come though--he’d prefer you did that when he’s inside you and you could do it together.

Leona actually doesn’t expect you to perform oral for him, nor is it something he actively seeks out. He also (with your consent) would prefer to come inside your core, rather than your mouth.

Toy:

He might dabble with a few toys--maybe a vibrator. He’ll tease you almost to your peak--but he’ll stop right before that, because he prefers that the two of you reach your release together.

He still prefers good old fucking though. His brows twitch just a little at the thought that he might not be pleasing you enough if you’re thinking about toys. “haah? more? it’s my turn, herbivore.”

Unfair:

Male lions don’t really get heats or ruts--they have sex when the female lions get into heats. So most of the time, when Leona gets frisky, it’s because you’re feeling particularly horny. There’s absolutely no point in attempting to hide how much you want him--he can smell it on you from a mile away.

That being said, he can be very unfair because he makes it his personal mission to ensure that you’re so pleased--you can’t say anything to his smirking face.

Jade Leech

Dirty Secret:

Jade has incredible control of his base instincts, and often spends most of the lovemaking process driving you close to orgasm countless times with just foreplay. Even when you actually do have sex, Jade is still--most of the time--in control. Most of your sessions is you being pleasured to exhaustion, and he hadn’t even removed his pants yet.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be rough with you, he does to some extent, but--it’s almost a dominance thing. He likes seeing you fall a part in his arms--he likes seeing all the different faces you make when he touches you in a certain way. To do that--he has to be in complete control.

Experience:

Probably has had some experience before you. If anything, he’s at least experimented with other people--enough so he knows what he wants and likes from sex.

If you ask him how to please him in bed, he’s more than willing to tell you exactly what he likes. He’s thrilled that you’re invested in learning more about him. On his end, he’ll learn things about your body and kinks that you could have never thought of.

Oral:

He certainly enjoys giving you oral--he loves the way your expression twist into utter bliss. He especially finds it amusing when you, particularly worked up--actually tangle your fingers into his hair and push your lower body into his face.

It’s something he won’t ask for--but a certain thrill will shoot up his spine when you ask him to let you give him oral. In turn, he’ll find it very exciting to tell you exactly how he likes it. When his cum spills onto your face, his eyes darken quite a bit--your expression in that moment made Jade’s impeccable control slip.

Toys:

He’s entertained the thought of slipping a vibrator into your heat, and sending you to enjoy your day as you normally would. He’d want to watch you tremble, and shiver as he adjusts the settings from a distance. The only reason he doesn’t actually do this, is because he doesn’t want any of the other students seeing your expressions and, or getting any ideas from the likely scent emanating from you.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) for you, the bedroom is free game. He loves to see how far he can tease you with his array of toys before he finally let’s you come. He will never do anything you’re uncomfortable about. He’s also likely to let you tease him with his own toys--just to see what type of look will cross your face when he gives you ‘power.’

Unfair:

He’s one of the biggest teases from the Twisted cast. He’ll drive you as close as possible to your orgasm, before going hands off again. Rinse and repeat, until you’re crying and begging him to just let you fall.

He also enjoys watching you play with yourself--whether with your fingers, or pushing in a particularly thick dildo into your own body--his eyes are ever attentive and his smile calm as he tells you to--“go deeper, my dear.” .

Floyd Leech

Dirty Secret:

He’s the type of person who would actually willingly do it in public with you. He’ll push you into a corner--hidden behind the stairs, and fuck you silly. When other students (especially those with animal features) turn to you (because they can smell it on you), Floyd will simply give them a smug grin.

He’s also very much the type of person who will purposely mark you in very noticeable places. If he’s aware that he put a mark somewhere on your body that you didn’t know--pretend, your nape--he’ll move your hair aside just so people could see it.

Experience:

Somehow, I think he has less experience than Jade, but likely more experience than Azul. There’s a chance the farthest he’s gone with other people is oral sex or just foreplay because nobody manages to hold his interest long enough for him to want to have sex.

Because of his personality, I think Floyd isn’t the type of person who’d be approached often and propositioned for sex. This is fine with him, he’s mostly uninterested with it anyways... until you.

Oral:

He very much enjoys it when you perform oral on him--he loves the way your mouth feels around his cock. If you’re willing to deep throat him, Floyd would absolutely loose it--his hands would tangle in your hair, and force you down on his cock as far as you can go.

He’s not really interested in giving you oral--he will if he’s in the mood for eating you out in particular. But most of the time during sex, he doesn’t always consider that you might want it. You often have to ask--and doing that can take awhile.

Toys:

He certainly finds them interesting and fun. He’ll use them on you to tease you as much as possible. However, there’s a chance that he’ll quickly grow bored of using it and shift onto pounding you into the bed. He’s also... iffy with toys sometimes. Like, you can say he sometimes gets jealous that the toy was receiving your warm squeezes instead of his cock.

If he’s in a particularly good or patient mood, he’ll let you use some toys on him. He thinks its cute if you try to put him in hand cuffs. Though be warned, no matter how much power you think you have in that moment--the moment Floyd doesn’t feel like it, he’ll reverse the situation immediately.

Unfair:

He’s very unfair, but not in the same way as Jade as that he’d tease you. He’ll tease you, certainly, but not with words. He’ll come out of nowhere to press his body against yours, and you’ll feel his hard cock through his pants--“shrimpy~ let’s do it right now~”

He’s unfair in the sense that you’ll find it very difficult to refuse him when he’s in the mood. He’s also the type to get turned on, and to stay turned on for quite awhile--so sessions with him are always long, exhausting--and you certainly can’t walk the next day.

Malleus Draconia

Dirty Secret:

Whenever the two of you engage in lovemaking, he’s incredible soft and slow with it. He’s always incredibly romantic, with it--but the truth of the matter is that he wants to be as rough with you as possible. He wants to lose himself to the sensation of your warmth--but if he does that, he’s likely to destroy the whole dorm... so he won’t.

He’s also alarmingly aware of how fragile the mortal form is, so he’ll never budge on this. He’ll prefer never to treat you roughly, and will always go for slow, romantic sex. Actually seeing hickeys, or the lightest bruises on you--genuinely upsets him, and he’ll have to be coaxed into having sex with you again.

Experience:

Well... given that he wasn’t even allowed to show up in front of Eliza... He probably knows how sex works, and he’s likely at least have done it a few times. You can probably count the number of times with just two hands but... He’s never really understood the pleasure aspect.

That is until he had you in his bed, and your scent in his sheets. It’s only then did Malleus completely understand what the hype with sex was.

Oral:

He finds it very intriguing--there’s just something so enchanting and intoxicating about the way you’re spread across his bed--quivering--your eyes dazed as he made you orgasm with his mouth.

That being said, when you do oral on him--Malleus is a goner. He never expected that something like this could be enjoyable--and he might break the bed post with how hard he’s holding it as you suck him off.

Toys:

He would hesitate to use them because he’s not so sure how to--nor did Lilia inform him of them when he was given the birds and bees a few hundred years ago. While he’s willing to test them on you, he’s more likely to just get excited and go straight for the main course.

Because you encouraged him and let him test some toys on you, he’ll agree to let you test some other toys on him too. However, he’ll be pretty clear with you when it’s something he doesn’t like.

Unfair:

He’s actually very fair as a lover. He’s not the type to tease you too much--and he’d rather the two of you enjoy your lovemaking as much as possible. For the centuries he’s been alive, nothing has ever made him feel like this at all--so he’ll enjoy it as much as possible.

That being said, he’s not above a few coy, “ohoh? you must want me a lot, bright one.” But he’ll never tease you beyond that--he’s just as eager as you to share these moments together.

#twst headcanons #ai spicy alphabet #leona spicy alphabet #jade spicy alphabet #floyd spicy alphabet #malleus spicy alphabet #aiwrites #aiheadcanons #aithirsts #ai simps over jade #ai simps over floyd #ai simps over malleus #ai grudgingly simps over leona

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adarlingsnightmare · 4 years

Text

Osamu Dazai Yandere Alphabet

this was requested by a lot of people and i wrote it awhile ago but am only posting it now bc i spent way too much time fussing over whether it was any good lol.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

One word: smothering. Dazai's idea of affection involves robbing you of your privacy and getting in your personal space as much as possible. He doesn't even care if you're not comfortable with it, so for anyone who doesn't like being touched, he's an absolute nightmare to be with. He especially likes to wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind and stand like that for as long as possible.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

As messy as necessary! He's more likely to get messy with you than with rivals, though. He is a sadist, but now that he has his precious darling this is all directed towards you, meaning his rivals get fairly swift deaths if Dazai does decide they need to die.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

As previously mentioned, Dazai is a sadist, and therefore loves to cause his darling pain whether that be physical or emotional. Despite this, he can act sweet and loving too, especially if you're not resistant. He does occasionally mock you, but it's not his main tactic of hurting you.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

Yes, definitely. His darling's wants and needs are completely meaningless to him. To his darling, he may even seem oblivious, but the truth is he just doesn't care. You said you don't want him to spike your drink? Oh, well that's just too bad.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, Dazai will actually be himself around his darling, rather than putting on a persona. He believes that since he loves you, you should know his true self. You're the only person in the world who will ever get to see the real Dazai, though that isn't necessarily a good thing. Don't get excited though, this doesn't mean he is vulnerable, in fact he is probably worse now he doesn't have to restrain himself.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Mostly amused. A part of Dazai enjoys someone who fights back and won't give in easily, in fact you could even argue he is somewhat masochistic since he gets rather excited by your anger towards him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Certainly. Dazai is fascinated by human behaviour and watching you react to various torture and situations is his form of entertainment. He may eventually get irritated if you are constantly trying to escape, but he somewhat admires your resilience.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Honestly, the whole experience is a nightmare because there is no chance of a good ending. Dazai can't be reasoned with, there are no compromises and it is guaranteed to end in tragedy. No matter how strong or smart you are, you can't escape. The best ending is for Dazai to kill you, because at least then your suffering will be over.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Dazai never expected to live this long, so he's never bothered thinking about the future before, even when it comes to his darling. However, if it came down to it, he'd probably want something similar to the 'typical' married life: a house, loving partner and maybe some kids. He wants to feel more human and he figures acting like everyone else is a good start. Although, despite these fantasies, Dazai will never actually be able to live this life due to who he is.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh, Dazai is the definition of jealous. He can't even handle the prospect of you thinking about someone else, let alone anything like actually talking to them. He has to be the centre of your world or he will literally go insane. He's not a hothead like Chuuya, so aside from a very tight grip on you and a dark glare, his jealousy won't be noticeable immediately. However, that's not to say he won't do anything about the situation — scheming on how he can ruin this persons life and if they really don't get the message, he supposes he'll just have to show them what happens to vermin who steal his darling's attention.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He still retains some of his cheery and mischievous persona, but make no mistake, once he's got you trapped, he'll reveal a much darker side. He likes to act oblivious to your suffering just to wind you up— oh, you're crying about how you want to be let out? so... anyways, what should we have for dinner? — and takes pleasure in both your despair and your anger towards him.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Depending on which version of Dazai we're talking about here (Mafia or ADA), his way of courting will be different. If you meet while he's in the Port Mafia, he will be more creepy than romantic. Relying more on intimidation than charm, he'll spend his time sadistically toying with you and jumping out of nowhere to wrap his arms around you in a suffocating hold. ADA!Dazai is pretty much the complete opposite— overwhelming you with endless gifts (mainly pricey chocolate and flowers), reciting cheesy love poetry, flirting constantly and of course always asking you whether you'd commit a double suicide with him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Definitely. While Dazai appears as a cheerful, suicidal maniac with a penchant for troublemaking, he is actually quite different. Around you he does retain some of his facade, but the cracks will show and it'll be undoubtedly unsettling. He deceives you with his sweeter, more carefree side, before he reveals the merciless, cynical person he truly is.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Punishing his darling is Dazai's favourite thing... much to the disdain of his darling. He'll punish you for just about anything and half the time he won't even explain what you've done wrong, simply wanting an excuse to have his fun. His punishment can take many forms, usually sexual, and always teaches you a lesson. The punishments you receive depend on whether we're talking about mafia!Dazai or ADA!Dazai, the former typically based around humiliation and the latter around degradation and pain. (I have quite a few ideas but I didn't want to write too much on this here).

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Rights? Freedom? What are those? You don't know because you haven't experienced the feeling of independence and being able to make your own decisions since Dazai took an interest in you. He's an unbearably jealous person so he can't allow you to even look at other people, let alone talk to them. Despite how much you prove your loyalty to Dazai, he will still refuse to loosen his suffocating hold over you and your freedom.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

If Dazai thinks it's worth it, he can wait for just about anything, so he is usually relatively patient with his darling. I say 'usually', because while he doesn't mind waiting, he prefers his darling to respond to his questions and advances instantly and you risk getting punished if you don't. Unfortunately for you, you'll never know how patient he's feeling so it's always best to just be alert and reply immediately when he asks you something.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Definitely not. Dazai's life felt pointless until he met his beloved darling, so you leaving/dying would absolutely destroy him and increase his suicidal tendencies tenfold. Without his raison d'être what point is there in continuing to live?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Guilt? Why on earth would Dazai feel guilty? He needs his darling to be around him pretty much 24/7 and kidnapping is the safest option for everyone, why should he feel guilty? I mean, who knows what kind of havoc Dazai would wreak if he couldn't have you by his side...

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Dazai's own ability describes exactly just how disconnected from other people he feels, so it's no surprise that he doesn't really understand love. It's the curiosity of what it's like to be human — to be like everyone else — that will compel him to pursue his darling to the point it develops into an obsession. You'll also have to be different enough to keep his attention, perhaps being eccentric in your own way or being extremely hard to read. He can't feel genuine love, at least not like others do, but he can feel intense obsession and that may be even more dangerous.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Unsurprisingly, Dazai enjoys his darling's tears and despair, being the sadist he is. However, he only likes it when he's the cause of your pain or distress, if you were crying because of someone else it would infuriate him to no end.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He appears like the typical delusional and deranged yandere, but he's actually very calculating and certainly lucid. He's fully aware of everything he's doing and how wrong it is, but does he care? Not in the slightest.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Honestly, it's hard to think of ways you could escape Dazai as he is extremely smart and unlike some other yanderes, no matter how compliant you are he will never let down his guard in the slightest. The only possibility is to kill him: whether that's by poisoning his food, smothering him in his sleep or biting down so hard on his neck he bleeds out. Either way, resorting to murder is the most plausible way of escaping.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Of course! What's the point of being with your beloved if you can't inflict a little pain onto them? Pain will be a daily occurrence for you as nothing is more melodic to Dazai than your cries of pain.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

While Dazai doesn't worship you per say, he does see you as ethereal— an angel that he feels compelled to ruin. Since doesn't see himself as human, you are very different to him in his mind. He wants someone else to feel as inhuman as he does, which is why he takes great pleasure in destroying your humanity. He isn't worried about winning you over either; he may appear like he is trying to do so, but he knows that if you don't return his advances he can just make you love him.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As mentioned previously, Dazai can be very patient when he wants to be and has no problem playing the long game if he feels it is necessary. He won't kidnap you immediately: preferring to slowly worm his way into your life so that by the time you realise his true, much darker intentions, it's already too late to escape.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Well, he wants to mould his darling into the perfect submissive little kitten, so yes it is likely he would break them down until all he had to do was rebuild them in the image he wanted. Even if you genuinely love him back and want to be with him, Dazai will still tear down your mental stability to the point of complete reliance on him. He's never experienced any real love from another person before or been in an actual relationship, so it's safe to say his views on love are a little skewed. However, after he had completely broken you, Dazai would feel the closest he can to regret. He doesn't actually want you to be a lifeless doll, but unfortunately he only realises this after you're already too far gone.

#yandere x reader #yandere imagine #yandere dazai #yandere bsd #yandere #osamu dazai x reader #yandere osamu dazai #yandere bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #yandere alphabet #osamu dazai #tw yandere #tw abuse #yandere scenario #yandere headcanons #bsd imagine #bsd x reader #yandere male

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ibijau · 3 years

Text

Suyao’s happy evil life in Japan, because I think they deserve that / also on AO3

warning for jgy having some very condescending views about Japan and its culture

The damn house wasn’t even haunted, Jin Guangyao thought as he performed the ritual. It had been abandoned for a few years, certainly, and it had a certain creepiness still clinging to its walls as a result, but that was nothing that a good deep cleaning and more recent furniture couldn’t solve.

Not that Jin Guangyao would say as much. If the tradition in Japan dictated that abandoned houses had to be cleansed before they could be used, he’d do just that. Business was business, and it wasn’t impossible that a pre-emptive ritual ensured no future ghosts would appear there. And even if one did, he’d come up with something, blame it on the family, on some fault in the landscape. It wouldn��t even be a lie. This house’s fengshui was a complete disaster… but he wasn’t being paid for that, and he didn’t particularly like this lord. The man had made disparaging comments against Su Minshan more than once, and Jin Guangyao had made note of that.

He wasn’t about to do Awata no Seimei any favours. In fact, Su Minshan and him had already agreed that they’d make the man pay more for the exorcism, even though they didn’t particularly need the extra money, not the way they’d done their first year. But then, in that first year, they wouldn’t have dared to aggravate someone as high ranking as Awata no Seimei, supposing they could even have gotten such a patron in the first place.

It had been hard, that first year, but neither of them were the sort to give up just because things weren’t easy. Besides, they’d had to survive, if only to spite the enemies they’d left behind.

Inflamed at the memory of that shameful flight, Jin Guangyao stomped a little harder than strictly necessary, which appeared to catch the attention of his spectators. Good. Let Awata no Seimei think he was working hard to purify that house he’d bought, it would justify the higher price.

It was mid-morning when Jin Guangyao decided he’d put on enough of a show and could announce that the house was now safe for ordinary humans. As soon as he stopped the ritual, Su Minshan rushed to his side, offering some cool tea, one of the local types that Jin Guangyao had become so fond of. As he drank, Jin Guangyao realised he was parched. It was still early enough in the day, but the heat was rising fast. It would soon be unbearably hot and damp, making Jin Guangyao regret that he’d wasted so long on this empty ritual.

“Master Kin Kouyou, what a splendid ceremony,” Awata no Seimei said in a too deferential tone that Jin Guangyao despised for reminding him of his own. “You have my thanks for your help, I could not have asked anyone else. Truly, there is no one else who would do as well as master Kin Kouyou.”

Jin Guangyao shot him a cold look. Before he could try guessing what Awata no Seimei might want from him next, Su Minshan came to stand between them, arms crossed on his chest, towering over the nobleman.

“Zongzhu just conducted this ritual for your house,” Su Minshan barked. “Please understand how draining this is, the house had been left untouched for many years, and there were traces of a fox spirit in there.”

Well, there were fox droppings in one of the bedrooms, Jin Guangyao thought, biting his cheeks not to grin. He couldn’t laugh in public, not when he was supposed to be exhausted from his great fight against evil, but the look of horror on that noble lord’s face at the mention of a fox demon was priceless.

“Of course I am grateful to master Kin Kouyou,” Awata no Seimei said. “I will make no further requests today. Then, regarding the master’s dues...”

“Don’t bother Zongzhu with that either,” Su Minshan snapped. “Come see me tomorrow, and I will deal with the payment. Zongzhu isn’t to be disturbed with such trivial matters. Zongzhu needs to retire now, unless you have any real reason to keep him here.”

Awata no Seimei didn’t. Between Jin Guangyao’s growing reputation now that the emperor himself had hired him and Su Minshan’s attitude, those nobles knew to keep conversations short. It had worried Jin Guangyao, at first, the way Su Minshan couldn’t bother being polite to these people, but in the end this played to their advantage. People expected foreigners to be a little odd, and the locals seemed to enjoy knowing that however talented those two Chinese cultivators were in magic arts, at least they had better manners.

Having finished their business with this old house, Jin Guangyao and Su Minshan headed back home. Awata no Seimei, quite generously, offered them the use of a pair of kago, which struck Jin Guangyao as rather suspicious. The man definitely had to have another service to ask of them, and probably one they wouldn’t enjoy performing. An onmyouji he’d become friendly with had warned him that some of those important people could become overdependent on divination and rituals, and Awata no Seimei seemed just like the sort who would ask the heavens what he should have for breakfast.

It sounded very annoying, Jin Guangyao thought as he stepped onto the travelling chair, but until Awata no Seimei actually started making requests, he wasn’t above taking advantage of the man’s generosity. The less he had to walk in this heavy, wet heat, the better. And he could tell that Su Minshan was getting uncomfortable, scratching his chest often. Summers were hard on him here, especially with his condition.

Eager to distract the other man from his discomfort, Jin Guangyao started chatting with him while their kago were carried along the streets of Heijou-Kyou, asking what else they had on their schedule for that day.

“Music lessons for the disciples this afternoon,” Su Minshan said, hands clenched over his knees in a futile effort to resist the itchiness. “Aside from that, nothing much.”

Jin Guangyao hummed, letting his gaze rest on the scenery. He’d been told that the city had been modelled after Chang’an, and many people had asked him if it looked as good as the original. Having never visited the capital at home, he always had to invent some polite lie about Heijou-Kyou having its own grandeur, but privately he wasn’t impressed. The original was always better than a copy, except in one specific case… and that case was sitting on a kago next to his own, suffering because of this country's climate.

“Minshan, take the rest of the day off,” Jin Guangyao said after a little while. “I’ll deal with the music lesson, you should have a fresh bath and rest. You’re really feeling bad today, aren’t you?”

Su Minshan looked away in shame, but nodded shortly. If it had been possible, Jin Guangyao would have reached out for him and taken his hand to comfort him.

“I’m fine,” Su Minshan said. “There’s no need to trouble yourself, I can take care of the disciples.”

“And I’d rather you take care of yourself,” Jin Guangyao countered. “I like teaching them, anyway. They’re good children.”

About half the disciples they’d recruited for their new sect were sons of minor nobility, because that paid, and because it never hurt to have connections. But a few were youth of genuine potential, who had in them the making of true cultivators, if they applied themselves.

The noble boys only came to study some of the days, and were sent back to their parents after lessons. The true disciples lived in their house, so they could be taught proper cultivation without inducing jealousy in those spoiled little princes who would never even come close to forming a golden core. Two of those boys Jin Guangyao had straight up bought from their family, something he couldn’t decide how to feel about. But they’d have been wasted as peasants, and they were grateful to their masters, and…

And Jin Guangyao wondered sometimes if this was what it had felt like for Nie Mingjue, picking the lowest person he could see and bringing him higher than others. Knowing you could change someone’s life was a potent drug, and it made Jin Guangyao want to fight to maintain their current position, so he could keep doing it. He’d been on the receiving end of pity for so long, he quite enjoyed being the one who could bestow it upon others at last.

“Do take the afternoon off,” Jin Guangyao insisted. “And I’ll send Haruto to buy some refreshing treats. He’ll be so happy to be of service to you, don’t refuse him that pleasure.”

“But…”

“Don’t refuse me the pleasure of spoiling you, either,” Jin Guangyao said, and with that Su Minshan could only nod meekly, defeated.

They reached home soon after. A light lunch was served to them, after which Jin Guangyao ordered that a bath be prepared for Su Minshan. Haruto and Minato, the two peasant boys, acquitted themselves of that task before going to prepare for their afternoon class. Jin Guangyao too went to prepare, but only after making sure that Su Minshan had everything he needed, and that the room they shared wasn’t too unbearably hot. Mostly, he enjoyed having someone to fuss over, something Su Minshan always resisted a little out of some fear he’d be relying too much on Jin Guangyao and become a burden.

A ridiculous notion. Out of everyone Jin Guangyao had ever allowed close to him, Su Minshan was the only one whose company had never once felt like a weight on his shoulder. Right from the start they had been equals, their temperament matching, as well as their hunger from more than the world was willing to give them. Jin Guangyao's few loved ones had all held him back, Qin Su with her unfortunate parentage, Lan Xichen with his principles, Jin Ling with the threat he represented... but Su Minshan had always been the perfect person to stand at Jin Guangyao’s side, and now they could do so openly.

The afternoon lesson passed quickly. Due to the humid heat, the boys were a little less attentive than usual, but then again so was Jin Guangyao. He was only too happy to free the boys for the day. Jin Guangyao only took a moment to send Haruto, his favourite student, on a few errands, while he went to do some accounting.

He’d been carefully managing their finances since they’d arrived in this country, and finally things were looking up. Jin Guangyao hoped that in a year or two they might buy a small house in the mountains, where he was told summers were fresher. Hopefully, he might get parts of the expense dumped onto some idiot prince or other, in exchange for teaching one of their dull witted sons. Back at home it wouldn’t have worked, because people understood money couldn’t buy cultivation, but here… here, any idiot with gold to waste thought they would learn magic.

It was fine to scam these people, Jin Guangyao told himself. Taking advantage of powerful men was nothing at all like those people who had sold his mother fake cultivation manuals. He wasn’t hurting anyone. Or at least, no one that particularly mattered.

When Haruto returned, Jin Guangyao took it as a sign he’d worked enough for the day. He thanks the boy for his effort, and gave him a few of the just purchased treats to share with the other disciples. The rest he took with him as he went to the room he shared with Su Minshan. As always he knocked on the wall to announce his presence, using a certain code between them so Su Minshan would know he didn’t need to cover himself.

When he came in, Su Minshan was sprawled inelegantly on a futon, and desperately fanning himself, his ruined chest glistening with sweat. He looked so miserable like this, though his face lit up when Jin Guangyao put down a box on their low table, and opened it to reveal some fresh shaved ice.

“I could kiss you,” Su Minshan said, all but crawling to the table.

“I hope you will,” Jin Guangyao retorted, picking some of the shaved ice with a spoon so he could feed it to the other man. “I also have some cold noodles, and some rice wine.”

“You are a god among men.”

Jin Guangyao laughed, and started chatting about their students, the ones in which they placed true hope, the ones who were there only for their parents’ fortune. Su Minshan was delighted to hear they might be able to buy a secondary house. With his thousand holes curse, heat and humidity were particularly hard on him, sweat and friction chafing his skin nearly to the point of bleeding sometimes. They really needed that house in the mountain, Jin Guangyao decided. He'd start looking very soon, and maybe drop a word to one of his richer patrons to ask for advice on such a purchase.

For now though, the two men enjoyed their shaved ice, then moved on to some delicious cold noodles. The local food was different from the one back home, but it was something they'd both taken to rather well, unlike that blasted climate. Then, after eating, they started drinking their wine, and the two men found themselves chatting about the place they would always call home, even if they should live in Japan for a thousand years.

“I wonder how A-Ling is doing,” Jin Guangyao mused, staring into his cup of wine. “Poor boy, he must have run the sect to the grounds by now, unless someone more competent got rid of him.”

“Maybe your enemy killed him,” Su Minshan retorted. “If they couldn’t get you, at least they’d get your next of kin.”

Jin Guangyao grimaced. “Probably. After all, they got Qin Su and that little idiot Mo Xuanyu, why not Jin Ling as well? Unless…”

“Unless?”

Jin Guangyao hummed thoughtfully. “I’m still wondering who it could have been,” he said. “I had my enemies of course, but there aren’t many who could have been bold enough to come after me like that. They all hated me of course,” he added with a joyless laugh. “But hate is not enough to go after a man who will slaughter your sect if you stand in his way. It takes a certain type of man to stand up to someone like me.”

“Could have been Lan Wangji,” Su Minshan predictably suggested. “Righteous prick, he didn’t particularly like Nie Mingjue, but he’d avenge him just to feel morally superior.”

“The fact that his lover was brought back certainly is suspicious,” Jin Guangyao conceded, sipping some wine. “And he never particularly liked me, either. To be fair, I don’t think he likes anyone, except that murderer. Still, I’m not sure he would have let Mo Xuanyu kill himself, he does have principles. No, I have another theory.”

“I’m listening.”

Jin Guangyao smiled, and poured more alcohol for both of them, letting the liquid flow as slowly as possible, allowing the suspense to rise a little before he dropped his bomb.

“Jiang Cheng,” he then said.

Su Minshan blinked a few times, frowned, then severely nodded, glaring at his cup of wine.

“It would make sense. Good way to make sure you don’t get rid of his idiotic nephew.”

“Our idiotic nephew,” Jin Guangyao corrected, who had put too much effort into becoming a Jin to disown his last direct relative, even if the boy really took more after his other uncle. “And everyone knows he’s obsessed with finding Wei Wuxian, right? I wouldn’t put it past him to just take things in his own hands and bring back the man who killed his sister, just for a chance to kill him himself, once he was sure no one stood in the way of A-Ling’s inheritance. Too bad he didn’t count on Lan Wangji. Ah, I almost wish I could go back and check on conferences now, it must be quite the show.”

The thought of Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, who had always hated each other, forced to act half polite even though they both wanted to lock down Wei Wuxian and keep him to themselves… it might have been the wine, but Jin Guangyao couldn’t help chuckling a little. He was so glad that he didn’t have to deal with that sort of mess. For this alone, he was almost grateful to his mysterious enemy.

It was an odd feeling, actually, but Jin Guangyao had come to enjoy his life here, in this foreign land. It wasn’t as good as home, nothing compared to the near absolute power he’d held back then, but… but his eyes fell on Su Minshan, naked from the waist up, looking in a rare good mood, and he smiled. There was definitely something to be said for this simpler life they had here. There was so much less scheming to be done, fewer enemies to deal with, and Jin Guangyao was finally free from the looming menace of Nie Mingjue’s resentful head hidden in his secret room.

Life here really wasn’t so bad.

“You know who it could have been?” Su Minshan asked, grinning like a fool, his cheeks flushed from the heat and the wine.

“Who?”

Su Minshan beamed, the way he usually did when sharing a nasty story about the darker secrets of Gusu Lan.

“Think about it. Someone who would have wanted to avenge Nie Mingjue. Someone who might have been able to wander around in other sects without attracting attention to collect information, because nobody cares what he does. Someone who Mo Xuanyu might have met before, who was there when Wei Wuxian came to Jinlin Tai to accuse you…”

Jin Guangyao, who had expected his lover to blame Lan Xichen, burst out laughing.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, Minshan. Really? You’re accusing Nie Huaisang now?” Just saying it out loud, Jin Guangyao laughed louder. Nie Huaisang had never had a single idea of his own in his entire life, and didn’t even get along with his brother when he’d been alive. Su Minshan might as well have blamed a very stupid dog. “That poor boy, I bet he would have taken my defence to the end. I almost miss him, you know.”

“No you don’t,” Su Minshan retorted, which made Jin Guangyao laugh again.

“I do! Ah, Minshan, let’s get a cat and call it Huaisang.”

Su Minshan scoffed, and reached out for the wine, only to find they had already finished it. It was probably for the best, if they were so drunk that they could consider the possibility of Nie Huaisang being their secret enemy.

“It’d have to be a fat cat then,” Su Minshan grumbled, stretching in a way that called attention to his chest. It was funny, Jin Guangyao thought sometimes, how he should have been disgusted by the effects of the Thousand Holes curse, but wasn’t at all. “ And one too lazy to even run after mice, or do anything but sleep in the sun, or else the name won’t fit.”

“Minshan, you’re so mean,” Jin Guangyao fondly said, taking the other man’s hand and pulling on it, wanting to go to bed now and enjoy some more this very mean-spirited man he was lucky enough to share his new life with. “Please, never change.”

#suyao #jin guangyao #su she #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #evil boyfriends heck yeah #living in evil domesticity #jau writes

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ssaseaprince · 3 years

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Will flinches away from Hannibal during an argument (angst & hurt/comfort)

(I LOVED the other request you wrote!!)

Sorry this took so long to get out, it ended up quite a bit longer then I originally intended but I hope you like it ! Also thank you so much <3

The first couple months after the fall had been rough, physically, having to go into hiding while their bodies were on mend. Hannibal's wounds, gruesome as they were, healed relatively quickly and without much fuss. Will on the other hand, had almost died. He had taken a stab to the shoulder, which shouldn’t have been the problem that it was, except that it got infected. He was stuck on the brink of death for quite a long time, and then spent the month after he was stabilized in and out of consciousness, high on painkillers. Hannibal had always been good at working and functioning under pressure, which was good because if he hadn’t been they probably would have died. The first time Will had come to full consciousness, however, Hannibal was a wreck. He’d cried then. Not a soft trickle of a few tears, but gut-wrenching sobs full of shaking shoulders and an ocean full of tears. Will cherished that memory, as he did with every memory of Hannibal crying. They made him human, seem more touchable. The first time he had cried in front of Will, they had been standing on the cliff right before they fell, and the next time was when Will had first woken up. He cried when Will spoke for the first time too, so long after the fall. The first time they made love, Will’s neck was wet with his tears. When Will said “I love you” the first time.

Will never took Hannibal as someone who cried very often, and he never had been. That was until the fall, until Will. The fall had been a rebirth for both of them, it didn’t only symbolize Will’s becoming. And then Will had gotten sick and Hannibal had almost lost him, and Hannibal was again reminded how precious life really is, and how easy it would be to lose him. They both made it through, but all the walls and forts between them had crumbled, and they were left exposed to each other. There wasn’t any reasoning or any point in trying to put them back up, because by then their souls were permanently intertwined. Will could read him no matter what anyways, so things like silence and shouting were equally expressive. Hannibal still didn’t cry a lot by any means, but he did cry (genuinely, cry) now on occasion, whereas he hadn’t really ever before.

They didn’t fight much. Of course they got on each other's nerves at times and had tendencies to snap at one another when they were irritated, but actual full blow fighting and arguing was extremely rare.

Today wasn’t like that though.

It was about two years after the fall, and they had finally settled down in Lakonia, an administrative region of Greece that’s in the southeastern part of the Peloponnese peninsula. They’d eventually been officially declared dead, and the last year and a half had been good. Both were more than content to let the past mostly stay where it was and move forward, and their days blended together in a mix of hunting and domesticity. They’ve been happy, but they out of anyone should know how easily the calm can be shattered.

It started like it had before. Sleepwalking, gradual hallucinations, losing small bits of time. Will knew what it was, but he avoided telling Hannibal about it. He supposes he was scared, scared to lose the peaceful (peaceful in their own way) domesticity they had settled into. Scared of how it would affect their relationship. Hannibal had changed a lot since the fall and since his time in prison, and Will knew logically he didn’t need to worry. But the nightmares were full of flashbacks to ticking lights and needles, and he grew more and more distant, and Hannibal’s concerned eyes followed him everywhere.

It shouldn’t have taken him as long as it had to realize it, so when he finally did Hannibal was disgusted with himself. Will had been deliberately hiding it from him, but still, he felt he should’ve noticed sooner. Anti-NMDAR Encephalitis was known to be recurrent. It was extremely important that Will got treatment as soon as possible, especially since he had gone so long without it last time. The only option Hannibal had was to confront him.

That all led up to now. Their first real fight since the fall.

“Your health is of the utmost importance Will, you cannot be keeping things like this from me.” Frustration leaking into his tone, Hannibal leaned against the kitchen counter. Will was sitting across from him on a barstool, nursing a glass of whiskey. Will was annoyed, he knew he shouldn't be annoyed but he was. He knew Hannibal was just concerned, but it felt overwhelming, and he couldn’t help but wonder how genuine the concern was. The past couple of weeks he found himself falling back into old thinking patterns, reminiscing about the past. He knew the Hannibal in front of him was completely different then the Hannibal he had first met, but he couldn’t help but to compare his abundance of concern now to the great lack of care he had before.

He grimaced, “Well I don’t need you freaking out. I can take care of myself, always have.”

“For the most part, yes, you can. But you aren’t doing a good show it right now, Encephalitis is life threatening if left untreated, you are aware of that. You cannot just ignore it.” Hannibal’s usual calm façade was slowly slipping. “With everything you've been through, you’re honestly willing to die by a treatable disease? You’re not stupid, Will.”

Taking another drink of his whiskey, he rolled his eyes. The alcohol was making his thoughts fuzzy, but goddamnit was he too sober for this.

“I wasn’t going to let it go on forever Hannibal, you’re right, I’m not that fucking stupid. You’re just overreacting and being dramatic, like always.” He raised his glass to take another drink only to have it roughly pulled from his grasp.

Looking up, he glared at the man across from him. “What the fuck Hannibal?”

Hannibal's calm was practically nonexistent at this point, and he slammed the glass down on the other side of the counter before looking back at Will. “Are you so insistent on being self destructive? You’re acting like a child Will, refusing help.”

Will let out a loud, overexaggerated sigh. His voice was rough when he spoke, the tone of it slowly rising. “Well what am I supposed to do? It’s not like I can just walk into a hospital and ask them to help me treat a rare disease that I’m known for having had before. Maybe I’ve just been trying to figure out what to do, I’m not completely incompetent you know.”

Hannibal’s clenched fists rested on the counter. “You could ask for help! We could get the right supplies and treat you, without needing to go to the hospital. You know that, you are just being unnecessarily difficult.”

Will stood, the stool pushed behind him as he glared at Hannibal. “Yeah well maybe I don’t want your help, you don’t exactly have the best track record of making good medical decisions for me.”

Hannibal’s next words came out in a raised voice, not exactly a yell, but they seemed to take up all the air from the room. “I am not going to stay here and watch you kill yourself. I’d thought better of you Will, but if that’s how you chose to act I am not going to stay here for it.”

And Will flinched.

The small, unconscious action sent Hannibal reeling, as he looked back over what he had just said. He didn’t think of himself as an impulsive person, he didn’t think he was the kind of person who said things they didn’t mean out of anger, but Will seemed to bring that out in him. He and Will were so far beyond lies and manipulation, they were rarely things that were worried about within their current relationship. But watching Will so blatantly refuse to take care of himself, putting himself in danger by refusing help, was unbearable. So he threw out the first thing he thought of to get Will’s attention, for him to realize just how serious he was. He’d never leave him, they’d consummated their marriage in the depths of the ocean, and an infinite amount of times over since then.

It took him a minute to grasp what he had even said as he stared at Will across the kitchen. It was such a preposterous thing to think, let alone say that it took him a moment to understand the words had actually come out of his mouth. Will had frozen up, and Hannibal could almost see the walls being thrown up and forts being built, and it sent a pang of icy dread through his heart.

“I’m not refusing treatment, I just needed time to get used to the idea of you helping me, since you’re the reason I almost died last time. And here I was feeling bad because I was thinking you’re not like that anymore.” Will wasn’t glaring at him anymore, but his body language was rigid and the words he spoke were flat. “If you’re going to leave, just leave Hannibal, you don't need to find excuses to. You can cut the act.”

“Will.. “ The words seemed stuck in his throat as he said them. “I didn’t mean that.”

‘No, just go. If you think so low of me then just leave. Don’t want you feeling obligated to take care of me, since ya know, I obviously can’t take care of myself.” And with that, Will turned to leave, grabbing his keys and starting to put on his coat. He wasn’t full on drunk, but tipsy enough that he swayed slightly when he walked.

“Will, you don’t have to go.” Hannibal grabbed his arm gently, turning him to look at him. “You’re too intoxicated to drive right now.”

Will shook his head and roughly pulled his arm away. He needed to be alone and it irritated him that Hannibal was telling him what to do, but he had to accept his logic. And driving after he'd been drinking wouldn't fare well in the argument that he could take care of himself. “Fine, then you can get the fuck out.”

“Will…” Hannibal’s voice was soft, “I didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t care, just get out. At the very least just give me some space.”

Hannibal didn’t want Will to feel more pushed, but he had to add, “alright, but don’t drink anymore. It will worsen your condition. Please, Will.”

Will sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah, whatever. Just go.”

Hannibal nodded and stepped away, he got his own coat and pulled the front door open. Hesitating, he turned back and looked at Will, who was staring at the floor. “Please be safe.” Will just waved his arm indicating that he should go, and with that, Hannibal stepped out onto the porch and then closed the door.

Will was exhausted, his head was throbbing and his eyes stung. With Hannibal gone, the tears finally began to steadily fall from his eyes. After a while of standing there, staring at the front door, he ended up stripping down to his boxers and laying down in their bed. Penelope, their little King Charles Spaniel puppy, watched him from the doorway. A few minutes later, she was picked up and snuggled in Will’s arms on the bed. Hannibal hadn’t wanted a dog, but he accepted that living with Will meant they were bound to get one. He tried to be apathetic towards her when Will first brought her home, a scrawny little stay, but the affection in his eyes was unmistakable. The little dog followed him everywhere now, and they ended up bonding very quickly. Will had even joked that Hannibal liked Penelope more than him. As he held her and pressed his face against her fur, Will thought back on those memories fondly.

His mind palace was nowhere near as vast or intricate as Hannibal’s, but he still had memories there that he clung to. Closing his eyes, Will went back to the ones he cherished the most.

The tears that had clung to Hannibal’s lashes, barely visible in the dark of the night after they killed the dragon.

The sobs that came from Hannibal’s lips when Will had first woken up.

The few drops that fell from his eyes when Will had spoken to him for the first time in his recovery.

The little gasps of breath that had accompanied the multitude of fallen tears that came the first time they made love (calling it anything else wouldn’t encompass it enough).

When Will had said “I love you” to him the first time and silent rivers had run down his cheeks as he’d smiled so vibrantly it was hard to look at.

He knew Hannibal hadn’t meant it, that he was just frustrated and fed up and worried. They wouldn’t survive separation, and Hannibal needed Will just as much as Will needed Hannibal, they needed each other to live. He knew Hannibal loved him, his love was as real and tangible as those tears he’d cried.

Will loved their lives, and he didn’t want anything to cause a rift in that. He trusted Hannibal and he knew he would take care of him and help him to the best of his abilities. But to see his concern in comparison to the first time he got sick, was jarring, and Will almost didn’t know how to handle it. Hannibal had turned himself in and spent three years in jail for Will, and he was sure if he decided he wanted to go to the hospital to get treated, even if it risked exposing them, Hannibal would take him in a heartbeat. It shouldn’t be, but the depth of Hannibal’s affection for him was still surprising at times.

Will acknowledged that being worried about Hannibal’s reactions to him being sick was justified, and that there would probably always be times where the trust between them wavered because of the past, but he knew Hannibal wouldn’t ever leave.

He’d call Hannibal in the morning he decided, give them both time to calm down. And with that last thought, he tried to sleep for the night.

When the sun came up, Will was thankful. He’d spent the night tossing and turning, fighting off nightmares when he did manage to sleep. More than once he found himself reaching out to the other side of the bed for Hannibal, only to find that he wasn't there. Getting up, Will put on a simple plain shirt and pair of sweatpants and went to make coffee. Their coffee maker had been outrageously expensive, but Hannibal had insisted on it, and it ended up being worth it. Now, looking at the stupidly expensive coffee maker brought Will a strong feeling of longing. Hannibal had only been gone a night and Will felt like he was already falling apart. Calling Penelope to come with him, Will picked up his phone and decided to sit on the porch to call Hannibal, deciding that the fresh air would do him some good. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but he just needed him back.

Will wasn’t someone who was very jumpy at all, but when he opened the front door and turned to see Hannibal sitting with his back against the house, Will startled so badly he almost dropped his phone.

Hannibal turned at the sound of the door opening and looked up at Will with puffy eyes and red cheeks dried with tears. Internally, Will sighed. He looked like he’d been there all night. Wordlessly, Will reached down and pulled Hannibal to his feet and then brought them both inside. He helped Hannibal get off his coat and then stripped them both down to their boxers, before pulling them in their room and into bed. They curled up around each other, Will’s face pressed against Hannibal's chest and Hannibal's arms around him, running his fingers through Will’s hair. They laid in silence together for a while, just counting each other's breaths and heartbeats.

Eventually, Hannibal broke the silence, his voice raspy and quiet. “I’m sorry.”

Will took a breath before answering.

“I’m sorry too.”

Pressing his face into Will’s curls, Hannibal's breathing hitched. “I wouldn’t ever leave you, not again.”

“I know Hannibal,” Will responded. He pulled back a little so they were looking at each other. Hannibal’s eyes were wet with tears as he looked back at him.

Leaning forward, Will kissed away the few droplets of water that had escaped.

“I was going to tell you, I just needed to work up to it.’

Hannibal was silent for a moment before he replied. “I understand your hesitation. If you wish to go to the hospital and be treated there, we can go. There would be a risk, but we can make it work if that is what you want.”

Will shook his head. “I want you to treat me. I just needed to get out of my head.” He smiled at the terrible pun, watching to see if Hannibal would react.

He didn’t, continuing to stare at Will mutely.

Will sighed, again. “Help me, Hannibal. Please?”

Hannibal nodded at that, pressing his forehead against Will’s, wet cheeks brushing against dry ones.

“Of course beloved. Anything you want.”

Will filed away the memory into his memory palace, and placed it with all of the other times Hannibal had cried for him. Beautiful reminders of his humanity.

“I love you, Hannibal.”

“I love you too Will, always.”

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #hannibal fanfiction #fanfiction #angst #hurt/comfort #Anon #anon request #fanfiction requests

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paralumanleadmehome · 3 years

Text

It’s been quite some time since I’ve last joined a contest and I honestly missed this feeling of trying to figure out what to write, how to write it, and how to deliver it exactly as you need to to impress the judges. It’s been so so long and welp. I’ve grown rusty and this is definitely not proof-read but all the same, thank you to @queenangst and everyone who had made this possible.

You brought me back a feeling I haven’t felt in so long.

This is my entry to queenangst’s BNHA gen contest: Finding Home

(please see under the cut as this has 3.5k words and could be very long)

Finding Home

It started out as a legend – two souls separated at creation, two souls that make up one whole, two halves of one soul completed upon connection.

Two becoming one.

But legends are legends for a reason – mythical, mysterious, only with a hint of a truth.

Soulmarks began appearing even before the dawn of quirks –little symbols that litter the body, one that you could only call your own. One that only you could share to whom you so ever desire. It varies in shapes and colors, some being a butterfly tinged in red and orange, others an ocean wave the shade of green, and to some more, it covers a palm, a thigh, a foot. Unlike its legendary counterpart, however, a soulmark does not lead you to a soulmate. Instead, it leads you to one where you can feel whole.

A soulmark is a symbol of love and friendship given in trust and good faith – one that cannot be taken, one that only be passed on.

A soulmark is a symbol of warmth and everlasting connection – one that is stronger than flesh and blood.

A soulmark is a symbol of home – one that you choose for yourself.

One person can have as many as the stars in the sky and as few as the petals of a clover.

And Izuku? Izuku only has his own, his mother’s, and the black mark of one Bakugo Katsuki.

After all, no one wants to share the mark of a useless, quirkless, little Deku.

And so, however sacred, Kacchan had cut his own connection with Izuku, both of them bearing the ashen remnants of a once golden sun and a viridian shooting star – the pain of which Izuku found more unbearable than the explosions that kissed his skin.

And Izuku no longer believed in soulmates.

Not when the world was so intent on pushing him down and pushing him away, not when no one would stand up for him and with him, not when the only love and care he had ever known came from the woman who had loved him the most.

So Izuku never shared the mark on his wrist with anyone, never the light of the shooting star that brightens up the dark sky, never the stardust that falls on the earth, never the ray of hope he had held even in the darkest of times, keeping it hidden in long sleeves, wristwatches, and bandages. And at all times he keeps covered the blackened sun that rests on his heart, refusing to see the ashes of a friendship no longer alive, refusing to acknowledge the searing pain that would accompany the sight. Instead, as always, he keeps close the mint green lotus that rests on the base of his right ear, his eyes never not seeing it each morning, afternoon, and night – the one and only reminder that he is loved.

He is loved.

And he lets himself be content with that.

The first of many soulmarks that Izuku will treasure came from the man that he had idolized his whole life.

Yagi Toshinori, for all his time as the Symbol of Peace (and more the time he had spent alive), only carries with him four marks, not counting his own. Izuku doesn’t ask when he sees. He doesn’t think it is polite to, especially when most people aren’t interested in bonding with a quirkless child (and although All Might already knew he was quirkless and didn’t deny him this chance to train, the man’s initial denial of his dream still stings). He doesn’t ask about the faded crescent moon that rests on his collarbone (it isn’t nice to ask about the dead, after all), nor about the black spaded horse on his left ankle (he was shocked at first, upon seeing this lost connection, and his heart ached at the thought that even All Might had to bear the pain of losing someone he had once loved so dearly). He doesn’t ask about the violet sigil of a fish on his shoulder blade nor the diamond glasses near his scar. He doesn’t ask about any of these things.

Instead he asks about experiences – what was it like to be a hero of his caliber? Was he ever afraid of anything? Was there ever a time that he was unable to save someone? What was he like as a student? Did Dagobah Beach mean something special to him? Things that the world weren’t privy to – things that he didn’t know were personal.

Things that would’ve only been known if All Might had chosen him as his soulmate.

And All Might did.

One day, at Dagobah Beach, after the world had finally met the man behind All Might, Toshinori Yagi had offered his ocean blue sunflower tucked on the opposite side of where the faded moon resided and had asked Izuku if he had wanted to carry his soulmark.

And Izuku… flinched.

Because to hold another’s soulmark would mean to be aware of them at all times – to feel their warmth despite the distance, to know with one brush of a hand the feelings that lay in their hearts, to give them comfort even in the presence of an absence.

To bear a soulmark is to be eternally connected.

And Izuku had been burned by the loss of it.

And he is scared, afraid, terrified – because to be All Might’s successor is one thing. To be given his quirk and his legacy is a dream come true but to be his soulmate? To be near him? To know him and be known by him in return? It’s terrifying.

And yet… and yet… Izuku takes this fear and lets it be known.

In quiet whispers, jumbled words, and a steady stream of tears.

Because deep down, Izuku longs to be connected.

And it is in the act of letting someone close does he remember what it feels like to be loved.

ii.

The second one, surprisingly, came in the form of a little girl.

A quiet, frightened, injured little girl who had ran away from a monster of a man.

Eri bumped into him during his first patrol with Lemillion and this mess of child with a stature so small and eyes too scared clung to him for dear life – and Izuku’s soul ached.

Izuku took one look at the man with the bird mask, one look at Lemillion, one look at this little girl, and made up his mind.

“Eri,” he whispered, “do you trust me?”

It was a stupid question, he knew, but a soulmark is something to be given in trust – a treasure to be received in good faith.

“You’re good,” Eri answered just as softly, little hands clinging to his costume. “You’re warm.”

Izuku doesn’t know if Eri feels the same pull, the same fierce protectiveness that forces its way into his heart, and he knows that this is more his own desire to keep her safe than any other force telling him that she was a part of his own soul.

Because Eri mattered regardless.

And Eri was worth keeping safe.

So for the first time in a long time, Izuku removes the bandage that hides his own soulmark and he shows it to Eri.

“This will keep you safe for me,” he tells her, “this will let you know I’m here.”

In the background he hears the tense conversation coming to a halt, sees the way the man’s eyes turn to look at Eri, and he knows he doesn’t have time.

“This is a promise.”

And Eri stares at it for little while, hands reaching to the shooting star. “A promise,” she repeats, and with a little nod and hopeful eyes, Izuku places a finger on her arm, just beneath her sleeves, and let their foreheads touch.

The words come to him unbidden, the way words do when you give someone a piece of your soul – a promise to be fulfilled, a wish to be granted, a part of you that will forever be a part of them.

“I will always come for you.”

And he did.

iii.

Not counting his own nor Kacchan’s, Izuku has two soulmarks on his body.

One from his mother, another from All Might.

He didn’t ask for Eri’s and she hadn’t offered in return.

Eri was as afraid of her soulmark as much as she is afraid of her quirk.

Cursed, she calls the silver dove wreathed in yellow petals on her ankle. Cold, she thinks of it. It will still be a long way to go, Izuku assumes, but as long as Eri can feel his warmth, his presence, that would be enough.

The third one, interestingly enough, was in the image of an aquamarine heart, with its curves jagged and cornered, just as a gem so precious and true.

Kouta gave it to him as gift, as a thank you, as something for Izuku to remember him by.

Kouta didn’t ask for Izuku’s own soulmark, didn’t even breathe a word about it. Instead the little boy ran up to him, little arms wrapping him in a hug, and said,

“I’ll always be cheering you on.”

And when Izuku sees the way Kouta’s soulmark shine, he accepted it without a second thought.

And when Kouta pulled away afterwards, face pulled in a frown, Izuku tried to ignore the fear that stabbed his own heart. He wondered if he would make a world record, an ashen mark as soon as he had received it, but Kouta dispelled his fears just as easily.

“That felt weird,” Kouta said. Izuku blinked at him, his mind taking a minute to process, until he caught up. Then he laughed and laughed because he feels exactly what Kouta feels – the disappointment, the confusion, the curiosity… and the underlying overwhelming emotion of it all.

Unbridled joy.

The elation of having someone know you – of being accepted, treasured, remembered.

He also felt the embarrassment that followed as Kouta turned as red as his shoes.

iv.

The soulmark exchange with Shinsou had been quiet.

It happened on the night of their second year when they both stumbled upon each other in the kitchen at the forsaken 2am hour did Shinsou spring up the topic.

“You don’t have that many soulmarks, do you?” the question was genuine, as far as Izuku can tell, and although the boy was rough around the edges, he knew it was due to the fact that Shinsou had so little support in life and was untrusting of all that Izuku had felt a kindred spirit in that regard.

They have observed the people around them, of course, and have noticed that everyone at least had five. A family member, a best friend from childhood, a classmate they never got lost in contact with.

Izuku stole a glance at the back of his right hand, at the blue heart settled at base of his forefinger and thumb and hummed an agreement. “No, I don’t,” he agreed, letting stiff fingers be warmed by his tea. He doesn’t return the question to Shinsou, knowing that it was a touchy subject for the other boy, but he did wonder, “Why do you ask?”

They don’t talk about it much, these colorful marks on their skin. They don’t talk about how a brush of hand over the little symbols can feel as warm as an embrace, how fear isn’t so scary when someone else sends you courage, how silence isn’t deafening when someone knows to listen.

It is in moments like these that they listen.

Izuku listens to Shinsou’s own quiet humming, the way the gears in his mind seem to move, the way he figures out how to phrase the words he wants to say next. And Izuku has been thinking about it – had been for the past few months.

Will his classmates ever want a piece of his soul?

He could tell that Uraraka does. He could tell that Iida would want one, too, but a soulmark is something that’s rarely asked for due to its sacred nature – it is freely given, after all, and never to be taken lightly. And Izuku had never offered. He had wanted to, of course, but he knows how messy his mind can get. He knows how anxious he can be. It’s why he had given his to Eri in a pace that is both hidden and seen, something she had to reach out for so she could feel. Izuku could not yet know what Eri is thinking or feeling, nor will he ever have inkling to unless she so desired, and Izuku is completely fine with that.

After all, a soulmark is a connection of souls – but it didn’t have to be an exchange. What it did mean though is that for one who bears the soul of another is to be aware of them – to be able to feel their warmth and develop an understanding of their soul. It is not to read their minds nor to know everything about them, but it is about the intimacy of knowing someone and being known.

A commitment.

A promise.

Like an artwork waiting to be completed, like a dance you can take to heart, a soulmark is connection that bridges the gap between someone you know and someone you choose forever.

“I don’t get it,” Shinsou finally said, and Izuku turned his eyes to him, the question lost in his tongue. “You have a strong and flashy quirk, you have so many people who love you and would fight the world for you, heck Uraraka and Iida would probably murder someone for you if you ask them, and yet you don’t have their marks and… they don’t have yours. I know I’m not good at this thing but at the very least, people give their marks away as easy as they’re giving candy. And you guys are pretty close, so I don’t get it.”

And the pain of burning that bridge is the same as losing a piece of your soul. Izuku absentmindedly reaches for his heart, the ashen remains of Kacchan’s soulmark embedded on his skin still, and he tries his best to forget.

Izuku looks instead at the clock in the kitchen, noting that it’s only 2:17am, and asks if Shinsou would like to listen to a story.

And they left the kitchen at 5:00am, only to crash in the couch, heart heavy yet full, mind settled and secured, souls at ease, and both boys sharing a mark they never expected to kiss their skin.

The night Izuku had laid bare his soul for someone else to see, when it was him who had reached out first before someone else had offered, when he had done it so willingly and freely, it felt as if something has shifted within him – and in all the remaining years he had spent in UA, he was able to garner a couple more soulmarks for his own. He finally had the pink milky way that was Uraraka’s, the red lighting storm that was Iida’s, and Todoroki’s fiery white snowflake.

And to think that before all of this, before meeting All Might, before knowing these people and being known in return, Izuku was afraid and alone – afraid of the vulnerability that came along with letting people in.

To think that all he had ever thought about when he thought of soulmates were fireworks kissing his skin, long fingers bruising his arms, and taunts and jeers haunting his every waking moment – but now he is surrounded by love and warmth. Now when he thinks of soulmates, he thinks of mochi in the common kitchen, tea in hand; he thinks of morning jogs and healthy breakfast; he thinks of cold soba and cats; he thinks of unicorns and sprinkles and little kids and coloring books; he thinks of training sessions and laughter and peace.

Now when Izuku thinks of soulmates, he thinks of home.

And speaking of home, he can’t wait to get back to their apartment and give his mom the biggest of hugs. They had always called even when he was away and even when they would consistently send little taps through their soulmark, nothing still beats the warmth of a real embrace – and this is what Izuku fixes his mind on as he cleans out his dorm room, packing away every picture frame, books, notebooks, clothes, and figurines. Graduation is in a few days and after that, their debut to hero society. None of them would have enough time to clear out by then.

Izuku packs away the memories, just as he did each item that reminds him of it, and keeps them close in his heart. He packs away the ten million headband, the plushies from the cultural festival, the cards he had received from Eri and Kouta, and he tries his best not to feel emotional. He didn’t want to flood the dorms one last time, after all, but he did think it would be nice to have Aizawa-sensei scold him for being a problem child through and through but ultimately, it was the knock at his door that helps him succeed.

A knock, quiet and soft, and he opens the door to find Kacchan standing at the other side.

Their relationship had improved over the years.

Kacchan is… less angry now, more settled. He’s still fiery and explosive but he doesn’t lash out anymore. Kirishima, Kaminari, the Bakusquad had been good to him and for him and Izuku had never been gladder about it. He had long stopped dreaming of the day that their relationship would be fixed – he and Kacchan had grown up, grown apart, and even when they drift back together, he is well aware that it would never be the same way again.

He doesn’t ask for it to.

He loves Kacchan, yes, with all his heart, but Izuku now knows that love does not have to be reciprocated for it to be real – but to still be loved in return is a precious treasure he keeps close.

“Hey, Kacchan, do you need something?”

And Kacchan looks at him, face pensive, mouth opening and closing, thinking and grasping and failing to think of the words he wants to say, and something in Izuku feels warm. After some time, the other boy settles with, “Are you busy?”

And if it was at any other time before, Izuku would’ve dropped everything that he had been doing and say no, he wasn’t busy, of course he had the time – but Izuku’s eyes sway to soulmarks on his arm and he steals a look at the digital clock by his table.

“I have thirty minutes,” was what Izuku told him. “I promised Todoroki we’d drop by the store to get his favorite soba since they’re not available near his house. I have time tomorrow morning thought if that works for you. I can cancel the morning jog with Iida if – “

“Thirty minutes is fine,” Kacchan answered back, cutting his rumbling off. It wasn’t harsh or angry. Just… very Kacchan-ish.

“Okay. Do you waant to step in? it’s a bit messy though, I still haven’t finished packing.”

And when Izuku heard the small tsk as he moved aside for Kacchan to pass through, he knew that the other boy won’t mind his mess. He felt a little grateful at that, to not be judged within the confines of his small room. They were silent for a few more second but it wasn’t the kind of silence that would make him uncomfortable. It was companionable, to say the least, and Izuku began picking up the pieces he had left before Kacchan had knocked and continued his packing. In another minute, Kacchan was helping him.

“Are you bringing the bookshelf home?”

“Nope, Aizawa-sensei said I could leave it here. Are you taking yours?”

“Thinking about it. Mine’s too small and I don’t want to waste money on something I can recycle. Do you have bubble wrap for the merch?”

“In the third drawer by the study table. I have newspapers too if that’s better.”

“Oh, Kacchan, that one goes in the other box.”

“Why? What’s the difference?”

“All my signed books are in one place.”

“Just how many posters do you fucking have?”

“Oh, come on, don’t pretend you don’t have just as many.”

“I’m not a hero-worshipping nerd like you, dumbass.”

“Says the guy who zonks out at 8pm.”

“Fuck you, asshole!”

“Kacchan, that’s limited edition!”

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“For everything.”

“…”

“It was pretty messed up, the things I did, and I know sorry won’t fix this.”

“Can you pass me the tape, Kacchan?”

“…”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to forgive me.”

“Please put this box by the bed.”

“Okay.”

“…”

“You’re right, I don’t have to forgive you.”

“…”

“But I already did.”

“Deku…”

“It won’t fix what’s broken and it won’t stop the sting from the soulmark but…”

“…”

“We’re better now, aren’t we?”

“…”

“Kacchan, we’re better now.”

“You missed the night light.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“…”

“And it’s only going to get better, right?”

“…”

“Of course.”

“You’re still a sappy piece of shit.”

“Well, I’m not the one who’s crying, am I?”

“Fuck you.”

“Whatever you say, Kacchan.”

#queenangst gen contest #shanwrites #bnha #my hero #soulmate au #soulmarks #you don't need romance to call it love

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Text

Sweet Things in Bitter Places [Luke x Reader]

Word Count: 3000+

Summary: Being a barista on the coldest planet in the galaxy isn��t exactly a glamorous job, but it does have it’s perks. The cute rebel who buys a cup of caf from you everyday is one of them.

Requested by @racheltheclumsy

As you waited for the caf beans to finish brewing in the caf distiller, you brushed your hair behind your ear and stifled a yawn. It had been a long day with very few of the rebels asking for anything at your small coffee stand. There had been rumors of a lifeform somewhere out in the swirling snow that had gotten everybody rushing this way and that to do their jobs. It left very little room for stopping to get even just a small cup of the bitter drink. You watched the distiller even though your customer was behind you waiting in silence. You tried to casually look around, but it seemed to make the waiting worse. Finally, after a good two minutes, you turned around to Wedge Antilles.

"What was out there today?" You asked him, genuinely curious. "I heard that they might have found something?"

Wedge, obviously relieved you had started talking, chuckled. "It was just snow and ice today," he reported. "That's all it ever is." He shook his head and smiled. "Sometimes I think the generals make that stuff up just to keep everybody on their toes."

You laughed and maintained a casual conversation until the caf was done. The distiller let out a beep indicating it was finished. You poured Wedge a glass of it and added sugar and cream until he said it was enough. He placed a few credits on the counter and grabbed the cup.

"No, Wedge." You told him. "You don't have to pay." You shoved the credits back to him. He always did this and it made you feel greedy when he insisted you take them. Credits, of course, were of no use on the secluded planet of Hoth, but they were held onto in hopes that going back to a normal life someday was possible.

You put the currency in the pocket of your apron when Wedge refused to keep them, and looked up as two tauntauns rode in the open hatch door across the base, their riders covered in snow. The riders hopped off the tall, furry animals and shook the snow off of themselves.

After a while, Wedge called to the pair. You recognized one of the riders as Luke Skywalker as he ran toward the friend who had called him. He sat down next to Wedge with a big smile on his face. The other rider you assumed to be Han Solo, the "scoundrel" everyone complained about. The friends chatted merrily as you cleaned up around the small stand you had stayed at all day. Your job seemed so unimportant, but all the rebels agreed it was good to have something warm to keep their energy up. Noticing Han waving you over, you put the cleaning supplies down and walked over to see what he wanted.

"How much for one of those?" he asked, gesturing to the coffee Wedge was drinking. You shrugged.

"Whatever you see fit."

Han looked at her with interest now. "Anything?" He questioned. "Even nothing?"

Laughing, you nodded.

"Well then I'll take one." With his final decision he nudged Luke. "She's giving drinks away for free, Luke. You want one?"

Luke nodded knowingly. "I know, Han. Haven't you ever ordered caf from here before?" He inquired.

Han scrunched his face. "Caf?" he said sourly. He turned to you as you started pouring the drink. "Nevermind."

Stopping quickly, you looked at Luke and rolled your eyes. He laughed softly and offered to take the drink instead.

"You're telling me you drink that stuff?" Han asked him, surprised.

With a spark of mischief behind his eyes, Wedge answered him.

"Are you kidding?" he snorted. "Luke comes by here every day and drinks twice as much as any of us." He elbowed Luke. "Because you don't come here for the drink, do you?" he teased.

Luke laughed, finding a new interest on the counter in front of him. He stumbled on words, trying to say something cohesive. It caused him to turn beet red with embarrassment. You turned back to cleaning. Blood was rising to your face and making your cheeks warm. Wedge was always joking about you and Luke "having a thing" (as he put it) for each other, and you both should've been used to it by now. Still, you couldn't help but feel butterflies flittering around in your stomach every time he brought it up, but you could easily cover your nerves with the thin veil of a shy smile.

It was true enough that you had begun looking forward to Luke coming to the caf stand every day. He always showed up with an upbeat and terribly contagious attitude, and it was a bright part of your day to laugh and joke with him until he left for whatever work he had been assigned. Often times, he'd tell you the burdens of his mind–whether they were trifling small or unbearably large. You didn't mind it when he did, and equally as often you found yourself able to talk to him about your own concerns. Perhaps it was your imagination, but you both always seemed more at ease when either of you revealed your troubles to the other. You willingly shared whatever burden the other had.

You were subconsciously aware of Han and Wedge walking away while laughing to each other. You poured yourself the last of the caf and sat down next to Luke.

"They'll never let that go," you joked. He nodded silently for a second then jerked his head up.

"Come with me next time," he suggested. With one look at your face he knew he needed to explain. "The next time I go out there to patrol come with me."

Could you really do that? You knew that only a few select people would be chosen for that job, and a small, quiet, coffee stand attendant wouldn't even be considered. You liked the idea though. The thought of trying something new from your general routine exhilarated you.

"I don't think I can," you reasoned, trying to suppress the sudden interest in the idea. He turned more towards you.

"Sure you can!" he said excitedly. "I know Leia. She's my friend, and I'm sure if I asked she would let you." You tried not to be as excited as he was, but as he smiled certainly, you couldn't help but feel that it was worth a try. He set his caf down and stood up. "Let's go find her," he said lending you his hand. You gladly accepted and Luke guided you through the rebel base to find Leia. You turned into a small tightly packed room with flashing buttons and screens in every direction.

"I haven't been here before," you admitted quietly to Luke, whose eyes were darting around the room. He continued walking.

"Most of the rebels haven't," he answered. "They're always busy with this or that, but they can come in when needed." He stopped abruptly and pointed.

"There she is!" He jogged up to the woman he pointed to in the little space he had with you close behind him. The princess was standing with a man who was examining a clipboard she was holding. She looked up when Luke approached.

"Luke, I'm glad you're here," she said, relieved. "I had Garven Dreis on patrol duty for tomorrow, but his sickness has only gotten worse and he can't do it." Leia turned back to the clipboard. "I can't find anyone to replace him. Do you know of anybody?" Luke looked hopefully at you.

"Actually, I do." He nudged you forward. You stuck your hand out but withdrew quickly. How was one supposed to act in front of the former princess of Alderaan?

"I'm Y/N," you said with a quick and awkward bow. It didn't feel right, but, thankfully, Leia said nothing of it.

"Have you been on patrol before?" she asked you. You shifted nervously, realizing this might not work after all.

"No, I haven't," you confessed. Luke stepped in.

"But she is good with the tauntauns and the scanners," he stated. "I'm sure she would be a great help."

Leia looked you both over then nodded. "If you think so, Luke. I trust you." She turned to you. "You can take the north markers tomorrow." With that, you and Luke left the room.

"I guess I have my work cut out for me tomorrow," you said, relieved that Luke's plan worked. He grinned.

"Yeah, but you'll want some sleep. Patrols start early." You said goodnight, to him and watched as he walked away. You didn't think you would get any sleep that night, but you would try so you could see him tomorrow.

________________________________________________________________

You waited by the closed hatch door on the north side of the base with your tauntaun next to you. You had been given warm clothing to replace your casual wear, but the coat you were wearing was so bulky it was hard to bend over. You hoped it wouldn't be a challenge to mount your tauntaun. Many of the rebels were up already and scattering about doing their jobs. You looked around eagerly for Luke, but you hadn't seen him yet. You figured he must be at a different door than you were now.

"Please stand clear of the doors!" An announcement came over the speakers indicating it was time for the doors to open. Even though they said this every time, you felt embarrassed as you backed away from the huge doors. You spun around quickly when you heard another tauntaun approaching. Tauntauns were not quiet animals with their constant, strange chatter to one another, but they were very sweet and useful. Luke steadied the animal and smiled down at you.

"Are you ready?" He raised his voice to be heard over the sound of the opening doors. In response you nodded and mounted your tauntaun with the difficulty you had hoped would leave you alone. You followed Luke to the side of the base where he stopped and turned around to you.

"We have to let the airspeeders go first," he explained as he smoothed his tauntaun's fur. "Are you excited?" You looked out into the freezing landscape the doors had hidden just few seconds before. You were excited, but the weather on Hoth was not the type you go out and have a good time in.

"I'm a little nervous," you answered.

He laughed. "I can't say I was my first time," he admitted. "I mean, I was pretty excited." He looked to the hanger door as the last of the airspeeders left. He turned back to you. "It's our turn now. Don't worry, you'll do great." He kicked his tauntaun lightly urging it to go forward. Yours bleated and followed right after without instruction.

As soon as you were outside, the cold wind whipped at you angrily. You had forgotten to pull your goggles down and the ice blowing into your eyes made it impossible to open them. You would have gone back inside, but Luke was already far ahead of you. You pulled the goggles down and lead your tauntaun farther through the swirling snow. Luke had stopped at the top of hill and waited for you to catch up.

"Is it always blowing like this?" you hollered over the wind.

"Sometimes in the mornings, but it'll clear up," he assured. He moved his tauntaun closer to you and showed you the map he had on the scanner. "You can go east to where the north and east markers meet up." He pointed in the direction you would be headed. "When you're done with that it should be clearer. Meet me north-west from there. I have something to show you." He smiled and headed off to where he would patrol, and you did the same.

After you found the east marker the weather cleared, making it easier to find your way around. You took the cloth from your mouth so you could breathe some of the fresh cold air and lifted your goggles so you could wipe them off. You looked down at the scanner you had been relying on to tell you what was out in the snow. There was nothing exciting about it, and you wondered why Luke had wanted you to come with him. You looked off in the direction Luke had wanted you to go next. Whatever was over there was the reason. You urged your tauntaun forward who seemed confused about going in the strange direction but obediently trotted on. Finally you spotted Luke standing at the entrance to a small cave.

"What's this?" You asked curiously as you approached. He smiled widely.

"Tie your tauntaun up here and follow me," he ran inside the cave without waiting for a response. You suspiciously tied the loud animal next to Luke's and ran after him. You collided with him which scared you more than it hurt you. "Sorry," he said after making sure you were alright. "You have to close your eyes."

"Luke, what's this about?" you questioned him.

"Come on, don't you trust me?" he asked. You stared at him skeptically for a little bit before you closed your eyes. "Just be careful. It's a little slippery," he grabbed your hand and led you down through the cave. His gloves were stiff from the ice that made its' home there, but he made sure you didn't fall once. He let go leaving you standing there with your eyes closed.

"You can open them," he said from seemingly farther away. You opened your eyes to a beautiful opened cave where ice hanged, glistening from the ceiling. There was soft snow that lay thinly over the thick ice floor and mounds of snow that almost made you want to lay down in them. Luke stood in the middle of the ice with his arms outstretched to show off the cave

"It's amazing," you said, awed. You took a closer look at the ceiling and found large hole that was letting the sun in and making the ice glow purple. "How did you find it?" you asked, hoping he hadn't found it by falling into it.

"I thought I saw something come this way once, but it was nothing and I saw the entrance." Despite the beauty of the cave, you were shivering with cold. You rubbed your frozen hands together and put the cloth back over your mouth. "I'm sorry, you must be freezing!" He jogged up to you and put his arm around you. "Let's get you back to the base." You stayed close to him as he led you out of the cave. Once you were back outside, you were greeting by the obnoxious noises of the tauntauns that were waiting for you.

"How many more markers are there?" You asked Luke.

"Don't worry about it," he said, turning you toward him. "I'll finish up the markers. You get back to Echo Base and warm up. Save some caf for me, OK?" He smiled and started walking toward his tauntaun. You held his hand firmly until he turned back around. "Is something wrong?" You looked into his blue eyes, wondering what to say to him. You stood on your toes with your heart pounding and kissed him on the cheek. Your face turned red standing out against the white snow around you. Luke walked backwards into his tauntaun still smiling despite the loud bleat it made.

"I'll be waiting." You said as you mounted your tauntaun.

"I'll be there." He murmured in response. Feeling warm suddenly you rode back to the rebel base and worked at the caf bar while you waited to see him again.

________________________________________________________________

You waited anxiously at the north doorway for Luke to come back. You had already closed up the bar and made an extra batch for you both to drink to help him warm up. The wind was starting to pick up again, making the snow blow in. At the sound of a tauntaun you strained to see the incoming rider. Han Solo entered the base and hopped off his animal swiftly. You couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"Where's Luke?" You asked him. Han turned to you, just realizing you were there.

"He went to check out a meteorite that crashed near here," He answered before walking off. Luke was always very inquisitive. It made sense that he would do that, and you felt stupid for worrying so much.

The rest of the day passed slowly and still there was no sign of Luke. You had wanted to ask Han if he had seen him at all, but he was in a bad mood and ignored most of your questions. You found Han standing with C-3PO next to the Millennium Falcon. Before you could reach him He had run off to talk with somebody else, but you knew Threepio wasn't one to keep secrets if he was told one.

"What's going on?" You questioned the droid. He turned around startled.

"Oh, it's just that, master Luke has gone missing," He responded. "Nobody knows where he is." Your stomach flipped. You knew something had been wrong, but you tricked yourself into thinking otherwise. A hand seemed to be squeezing your heart with no mercy. You looked over to where Han was stirring up commotion to see him ride off into the hungry snowstorm waiting outside. You spotted Wedge standing by the open hatch door and ran up to him.

"Where's Han going?" You asked breathlessly.

"He's gone to look for Luke," He responded without even glancing at you. You sat at the base of the Falcon, feeling too weak to stand. Everyone was on edge while waiting for Han and Luke to return. The later it got, the colder it was, and the need to close the hatch doors was growing. The decision was final and the whole base fell silent as the massive door shut slowly. You buried you head in your hands. Why hadn't you said it to him before? You were scared. Too scared to admit it to yourself. You loved Luke. The three small words that had scared you into denial were a powerful tool you had chosen to put away. Now you regretted that. I love him. You thought over and over until morning.

A gentle hand placed on your shoulder stirred you.

"Y/N," you heard Leia's voice and you woke up quickly. She smiled warmly at you. "Y/N, it's OK. They found Luke and Han." You sat up from the hunched position you had slept in. It took you a second, but you processed what she was saying.

"Are they alright?" You asked hurriedly.

"They're alive," she assured you. "Luke just barely made it, but he should be better soon." You stood up sorely with strong protest from your legs.

"He's here?" Leia nodded.

"He's in the recovery room. He asked for you," she said with a knowing look then stood up and walked away.

You walked into the recovery room to see Luke sitting on a small couch they had there. He turned around quickly.

"Luke." You said relieved. Luke stood up quickly.

"Y/N!" He hugged you tightly. Your heart raced happily.

"I thought you were dead." You whispered to him with tears in your eyes. You felt him shake his head.

"I'm alright." He responded. "Han found me and looked after me." You pulled away from him and reached down for the cup you had set on the table.

"I saved you some caf," you told him. He laughed and sat back on the couch. You sat next to him after putting the cup back on the table. "You can drink it when you tell me what happened." You bargained. He explained shortly about being abducted by a huge creature whos home had been the cave they had been admiring earlier. How he had escaped you still didn't understand, but you understood all too much about Han having to stuff Luke into his dead tauntaun's stomach.

After the story you sighed and rested your head on his shoulder. You were just glad to have him back. Luke had always been a good friend to you, but you noticed the more time you spent with him, the more you wanted him to be around. The want turned into need as he became the only happy thing in the messed up world around you. He was much more than a friend to you, and you hoped dearly he would feel the same. The fear that he wouldn't kept you away from the three words you wanted to say to him from the beginning.

"You scared me," you whispered to him. "Don't ever do that again." He held you close to him.

"I won't," he promised. You hesitated as you practiced the words in your mind.

"I love you," you voiced, shaking. He rubbed your shoulders to calm you.

"I love you, too, Y/N"

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i-stan-nct-and-satan · 4 years

Text

Not Broken (Jaehyun Mafia AU) Part 14

Not Broken Masterlist

Jaehyun X Reader

Y/N is a burlesque dancer living in Seoul. Jaehyun is one of the most powerful mafia men in Seoul. How will Y/N survive when Jaehyun suspects that she is involved with a rival gang?

Reasons to read this story: Ten’s a cross-dressing madam so….. yeah read it ya freaks.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded.

His presence sent shivers down my spine. Every fiber of my being urged me to run but I couldn’t. A much stronger force locked my body in place. The gym filled with an oppressive energy that immediately became too suffocating to bear.

The corners of his lips upturned into a slight smile, a motion that contradicted the mood of the room. Letting out a soft chuckle, he ran his fingers through his faded pink hair, only for it to fall back into place seemingly untouched.

“Is that any way to speak to your new trainer, Y/N?”

Although he terrified me more than anything I had ever encountered, I refused to let Jaehyun think that he had any more power over me than he already did.

“New trainer? What are you talking about? Where’s Jeno? He’s my trainer, not you.”

Jaehun slowly shook his head and began to tsk at me. His smug features mocked me as he began to step closer towards me. He knew of the effect he had on me and was surely using his influence to further disrupt any tranquility I had left. There was no way he’d be ignorant enough to think that his existence was anything less than a means for my suffering, right?

“I must say, it‘s almost disconcerting to hear my fiancé sound so concerned about another man, especially after I forwent my morning responsibilities just to be with her. You wouldn’t be trying to make me jealous would you, kitten?” He taunted, his eyes feigning hurt.

His words were coated in an artificial sweetness that could lead someone unbeknownst to his character to believe they were filled with genuine hurt but to me, they left me with a headache and a bad taste in my mouth. Not only that, but the way his eyes traveled their ways over my figure as he spoke was... anxiety inducing.

“Where’s Jeno?” I repeated, my strong facade beginning to waver.

Jaehyun stared at me in amusement and I wondered how I was going to keep his mood from turning sour without giving in to his games.

“Jeno has some duties he needs to take care of, you know with planning our wedding and all. Planning a proper ceremony is such a taxing responsibility and even without the deadline already enclosing on us. Although I trust Jeno’s abilities, I figured that relieving him of his other responsibilities would allow him to have everything ready for the end of the month.”

I couldn’t help but gasp.

“The end of the m-m-month? That’s only 3 weeks away!”

“In our line of business, that isn’t particularly out of the ordinary given the nature of most arrangements. A lot can happen in the months leading up to the official ceremony after an engagement is announced. Enemy plans can emerge, alliances could break, not to mention the very real possibility of either party’s death. Most find it best to officialize marriages as soon as possible, for the safety and benefit of all those involved, which is why we’re only announcing our engagement two weeks prior to the ceremony itself.”

Jaehyun’s words reached my ears but they sounded foreign to me and not because Korean wasn’t my first language. Everything he was saying sounded completely and utterly insane. Announcing an engagement two weeks before a wedding, the fact that we were having a wedding? It was straight out of a Kdrama and a cheesy one at that. I didn’t know how to respond to it as I had barely been given enough time to process our engagement in the first place.

“If Jeno isn’t coming, I’m leaving,” I declared, turning towards the exit door.

“Not so fast, kitten. Didn’t you hear what I said? I’ll be taken over as your trainer.”

I hesitated slightly but began to walk away.

“Then I guess I won’t be training anytime soon,” I announced.

I held my breath, not knowing what to expect. I braced myself for any backlash my blatant disrespect might have earned me when a startling sound entered the room.

He was laughing.

I had just made it to the door, but I didn’t dare reach towards the handle. I thought I had fully prepared myself for any reaction he could have to my words whether they be verbal or even physical in nature, but Jaehyun always found a way to rebel against my expectations. His unnerving laughter incited a fear in me so vast, every hair on my body stood straight as though it would abandon its follicle.

I tried to swallow but my mouth was unbearable dry. Gathering up my courage, I raised my arm from my side and reached towards the door handle.

“Don’t you want to hear the other reason for delaying the announcement of our wedding?”

I paused but continued to grip the handle with whitening knuckles.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say to me.”

Jaehyun chuckled at my audaciousness.

It’s cute how she acts fearless despite how she literally trembles whenever I speak. I want to tease her even more.

“Don’t you know it hurts my feelings when you say things like that? Or are you just trying to get a rise out of me?” He taunted.

I began to turn the knob, disgusted by his playful tone.

“Ah. Ah Ah. Believe me when I say that this is something you won’t want to miss out on,” He urged.

“At least... not unless you suddenly want to go through with the wedding.”

I instinctively looked back at Jaehyun, completely taking my hand off of the doorknob.

“What? What do you mean?” I asked in a tone more sincere than I had intended.

A glimmer of disappointment seemed to wash over his features before he spoke.

“Now don’t look too excited,” He frowned.

Ah, he’s mocking me again, isn’t he?

“I have a proposition for you. A deal of sorts.”

I stared at him.

“What kind of proposition?”

Jaehyun smiled a devilish smile before walking away.

I stood there confused as to whether he was intending for me to follow or stay put. After a moment’s hesitation, I resolved that it was the former.

I trailed behind him as we wandered through the myriad of rooms that made up the massive home gym until Jaehyun settled upon one with a considerable about of floor mats. The room was far from new to me, seeing as it was the room Jeno most commonly used during combat training.

“I’ve been watching you and Jeno train for some time now,” He began, taking notice of my shock.

“You’ve gotten quite good considering you’ve only been working together for a week. I’d like to assess your progress and continue your training.”

“Why would you want to train me?” I asked. Glancing around the room in search of any cameras he might have used to monitor Jeno and my gym sessions.

“Because you are to be my bride,” He answered, catching me off guard.

Jaehyun’s eyes lingered on mine. They were softer than I had ever seen them before, but matching his gaze still proved to be too much to do comfortable. I shifted my stare to a nearby stack of floormats.

“Although that status will grant you protection in of itself, there are certain dangers that come with taking the Jung family name. I must prepare you for that.”

“Oh...” I responded.

I hadn’t expected his answer to be so impassioned and sensible. I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I was sure his reasoning would have had more extemporaneous origins.

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any alternative motives to this decision,” He confessed prompting, me to match his gaze once more.

“You and I haven’t met under the most favorable of circumstances, which is admittedly my fault. I don’t expect you to forgive me anytime soon and I am prepared for much of the harshness I delivered onto you to be returned onto me possibly for the next several years succeeding our wedding day.”

This time he was the one to break our stare though his eyes only seemed to lower innocently.

“But I want for our marriage to be a mutually beneficial one. I hope that over this next week, you and I will have the chance to get to know each other. I think that that is what would be best.”

“You’re damn right this is your fault,” I said. “Why on earth would you think I’d ever agree to working with you on anything?”

Jaehyun’s expression hardened, but it didn’t show any signs of anger.

“Because if you think there’s any chance of you getting out of this wedding without my explicit consent, then our little kitten is dumber than I thought. Now do you want to hear my proposition or what?”

I kept my mouth shut.

“Good, now, where was I? Oh yeah. You and Jeno use this room for combat training, right? So, you’ve already experienced several scenarios simulating fights with an opponent who’s much stronger than you.”

Jaehyun stared at me searching for any sign that I was following before going on.

“You’re going to continue hands on training, but with me as your opponent instead. The only rules are that you have to stay within the perimeters of the room and that you cannot use a weapon to attack your opponent. Whoever pins the other on their back for three seconds will win.”

“Oh yeah? And what happens if I somehow win?” I scoffed.

The devilish grin returned to Jaehyun’s face, prompting my confident façade to teeter.

“If you manage to pin me down for the full 3 seconds within the next 7 days before our engagement is announced to the world, I’ll call off the wedding.”

“What?”

“I said, if you beat me, I’ll call off the wedding.”

“But what about Wayv?”

“That won’t be an issue, I could make the president of Korea disappear without a trace if I wanted. I should have no problem finding a way to keep you safe from Wayv.”

“That’s not what you said before.”

“Well, that’s what I’m saying now!” He boomed.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from arguing any further. I had more important things to ask.

“What happens if I can’t beat you before the seven days are up?”

“I was wandering if you’d ask that. It’s only fair that after offering you the chance to call our or marriage off entirely, that I should get something of equal value if you were to lose.”

That wasn’t what I had wanted to hear. Of course, he wanted something from me. Why else would he give me the opportunity to dip out on our marriage? There was no chance that he’d do this out of the goodness of his heart, and the idea that he was only doing this to see the hope drain from my being wasn’t too unbelievable. That couldn’t have been the case though. As much of a conniving bastard I knew Jaehyun to be, he was still a man of business. I’d be a sucker to think he’d do anything without it serving to further his agenda. Now the only question was, what was it he wanted and was it something I was willing to risk?

He brought his hand to his face in an exaggerated gesture as he vocally pondered to himself.

“What is it that you could offer me that I couldn’t just take from you?”

My body tensed upon hearing those last few words.

Fuck.

He began walking towards me as he spoke.

“As you can probably tell, there isn’t much in this world that I can’t buy. Diamonds, cars, mansions. I can have it all. I just have to say the word. So, I’m sure you can understand my frustration when that doesn’t turn out to be the case. You, for example. Although I can’t simply buy your obedience, you’ve come to realize how far my power extends such as with the case of your friend, Wendy. If I can ensure your compliance with our wedding with something as simple as that, then imagine what else I can do,” He voiced as he reached a hand towards my face.

I turned my face to avoid his advances, but his fingers brushed against my cheek as he pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

He leaned in close until his lips hovered mere inches away from my ear.

“But that isn’t very fun now, is it?”

I took a step back from him and stared into his eyes practically begging him to stop.

“W-what are you saying?” I demanded.

Jaehyun responded with a sly smirk which only drew more attention to my now flustered state.

“What I’m saying, is that I don’t want to have to keep forcing you to behave.”

“So, you just want me to go along with whatever you tell me to? And what, act like your perfect little puppet?”

“Something along those lines,” He chimed, leaning in again.

The heat in my face was unbearable. I wanted to stand tall, but with how close his face was to mine, I could only retreat into myself further. He laughed before turning away from me to stand in front of the room’s mirror wall.

He spent several seconds looking at himself before continuing.

“You will be rewarded, of course. Whether it be material items or vacations, ask for it and it will likely become yours assuming you act in accordance with my standards.”

“What type of things does ‘meeting your standards’ entail?” I asked afraid of what the answer might be.

Jaehyun glanced back at me from the mirror. The fear on my face must have been apparent as he quickly motioned to ease my mind.

“I will never demand that you do anything of that nature if that’s what you’re afraid of. Although it will be expected of you to give me a male heir, that won’t be for some time and I already have plans to send you away for nine months as the adoption process is completed to give the illusion that you bore said child yourself.”

I relaxed slightly at the confirmation that his requests wouldn’t be sexual in nature, but I tensed back up when I realized he wasn’t done with his explanation.

“My mother is returning to the estate today.”

“Your mother?” I echoed.

“After my father died, she went to live with her sister. She comes to visit the estate when she can and Jisung and Chenle often go to stay with her for long periods at a time, but upon hearing of our engagement she has decided to return indefinitely. She has yet to learn of the specifics regarding our relationship and I would prefer to keep it that way. She’s somehow diluted herself into thinking that our marriage is based on love despite having never heard of you until yesterday. She’s not opposed to arranged marriages, but I’d like for her to think that Chenle and Jisung will have another mother figure in their lives. She will be assisting in the preparation of our wedding as is her duty. Things like going through dresses and basic preparations will make up most of your time together. I would like for you to get to know her as your future mother-in-law given you are unable to win our little bet. Some details would best be hidden from her such as your career path and how we met but it’ll be easier if you aren’t pretending to be someone you’re not. I’ve already had Haechan prepare a back story for you and how we met. I’ve insisted that he tag along on all your endeavors so that he may assist you in... keeping to the script, shall we say?”

He continued to look himself in the mirror as he spoke. He seemed deep in thought, as though he were still confirming the plan with himself instead of explaining the details to me.

“I know that the bet won’t end for seven days, but if you agree to the bet, know that you’ll need to agree to this as well. That way I’ll have an idea of whether you’ll stay true to your word or not. Once you agree to the terms of the bet, then you cannot change your mind. You can’t suddenly give up your last three tries because you don’t think you’ll win. If you don’t agree to the bet, then I guess I’ll just have to find other ways of making you obey my orders such as through your friend Jungwoo.”

I flinched at hearing Jungwoo’s name. It seemed as though Jaehyun did more than just find out if Wendy was okay when he researched the Heartbreakers.

“I strongly suggest that you agree to my terms as I believe that even if you lose, you will still benefit from this agreement. Otherwise, the next several years will likely be filled with many hardships should you continue to challenge me.”

His words, which were provocative in nature, had a slight hiss to them. I was reminded of Lucifer who took the form of a snake before he seduced Eve into eating the forbidden fruit and thus bringing about the fall of man. Yet, instead of trying to corrupt me with sin, my Lucifer was giving me a chance to return to Eden. The cost of losing meant my soul. If I agreed, that meant that I was promising to live out my life, pretending to be what Jaehyun wanted me to be. If I didn’t, then I was sure he’d do everything in his power to make my life as miserable as I wanted to make his. Even if it meant my pride remained intact, I wasn’t sure if such a fight was worth sacrificing my happiness for.

But that wasn’t what I needed to focus on.

Jaehyun posed our bet as though it were a guarantee that I would lose, but that wasn’t the case. Jeno had spent hours upon hours teaching me moves with the specific intention that they would help me out if I were to ever find myself in danger of fighting someone much stronger than me.

Was there any chance that I could actually beat Jaehyun? Maybe not but thinking like that wasn’t an option. If this was the only chance I’d have to get Jaehyun out of my life once and for all, then I was going to take it.

“Deal,” I said.

The surprised look on Jaehyun’s face disappeared as soon as it came, soon morphing into one of satisfaction.

“Then shall we begin?”

<><><><>

“Consider today a break from training. Once we’re done with the match you can return to your room and prepare for my mother’s arrival. Starting tomorrow, we’ll only have matches after we finish our training sessions. That way you’ll actually be motivated to come to our training sessions,” Jaehyun told me.

“But that’ll be after I’m already worn out from training! That’s not fair!”

Jaehyun paused for a moment as if he were debating my words.

“As your trainer, it will be in my best interest to help you improve and that includes showing you where you went wrong and how to counter my moves. I can’t do that unless we fight first. This way, I’ll be able to see your fighting style and have time to plan a lesson teaching you how to counter my moves.”

“How can I trust that you’ll actually teach me the most effective way to counter?” I challenged.

“I understand why you’d doubt me but believe me when I say that I know more than just one trick. Teaching you how to counterattacks to one move doesn’t guarantee that I’ll use it again or that you’ll be a good enough student to actually execute them.”

Jaehyun ignored the dirty look I gave him.

A knock came from the doorway. I turned to see Taeyong holding a stopwatch.

“Ah. Now that our ref is here, Are you ready to begin?” Jaehyun asked.

I stared him up and down, aware that there was no way I’d be able to take a man of his stature down, at least not today. I had to come up with a strategy.

During one of our first matches, Jeno taught me that the best thing to do when fighting a new opponent is to let them attack first. That way, you can analyze their fighting style and act accordingly.

“You can tell a lot about a man from their first move. Not just whether they’re fighting style is more defensive or offensive, but about their inner workings as well. A man who attacks without hesitance is rash and likely uses their appearance of strength as a coverup for their faults. A man who hesitates and overanalyzes his opponent is filled with doubt and anxieties. A man who employs weapons to distance himself from his opponent is the same man who would order his underlings to do his dirty work for him. A man who is able to use his opponent's strength against them is disciplined and goal oriented. This kind of fighter knows how to save his strength for more pressing matters. Attacking first will only inform your opponent of your weaknesses so it is best to let them reveal themselves to you first. This will benefit you as you’ll learn to gauge your opponent’s abilities. Never jump headfirst into a pool you can’t see the bottom of. You never know what dangers lurch underneath the surface.”

Jeno’s words eclipsed my thoughts.

What type of fighter would Jaehyun prove to be? You can learn a lot about a man from his first move, so what if the reverse was true? Would it possible to predict Jaehyun’s moves based on what I already knew about him? With what little information I had, Jaehyun didn’t seem like the type to act without a plan, but given that he was fighting against someone much less inexperienced, maybe that wouldn’t be the case with me.

I looked at Jaehyun. I took notice of his smug features.

I was right. He expects to win quickly and easily and it’s likely that will be the case.

This might be our first fight, but it would be stupid of me to take it any less seriously, but what if I could use that to my advantage.

It’s our first fight so probably already anticipating what my first action will be. Perhaps he expects me to act rashly. No, that couldn’t be the case. Jaehyun knows that Jeno and I have been working together and I know that he’s already seen glimpses of my fighting style. He probably knows that I plan to let him strike first.

I continued to stare back at Jaehyun as I went back and forth with myself. He let out a small chuckle that further revealed his confidence in himself.

Go ahead and smile, Jaehyun. That confidence of yours is going to serve as a tool for my victory.

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“Good.”

Jaehyun shot a glance towards Taeyong who nodded in response.

“To reiterate the rules. Whoever manages to pin the other down for three seconds wins. The pinned person must be laying on their back and both of their shoulders must be touching the mat for the full three seconds. No weapons may be used to attack your opponent and both parties must stay within the confines of the room. There is no time limit. The match ends either with one party successfully pinning the other or with one party tapping out which will result in their opponent’s victory. Is everyone aware of what tapping out means?” Taeyong asked.

Both Jaehyun and I nodded.

“Great, now get into position,” Taeyong instructed.

I watched Jaehyun as he walked up to a mark that was engraved into the mat with tape. I quickly located a similar mark and approached it.

“You may start when I blow the whistle. Ready? Whistle!”

Taeyong quickly blew the whistle catching me off guard as I thought there would be more warning beforehand. I launched myself at Jaehyun. A spark of surprise crossed his expression as I quickly advanced towards him.

That was my plan, to catch him off guard by acting in juxtaposition with what he expected of me.

Slam!

The air that peacefully occupied my lungs was violently expunged as my back made harsh contact with the floor. The pure shock of the moment was enough to have me fixed to the floor. There was no need for the hands that held me in place except to mock me for my misguided attempts against the man they belonged to.

Whistle!

“Jaehyun is the winner,” Taeyong announced, his voice clear and void of any noticeable disappointment or excitement.

The match was over, and I was right where I had started. Actually, I was lower than where I had started, both figuratively and literally. Having no recollection of what had happened, I was still hopelessly ignorant as to the kind of fighter Jaehyun was, now with only had six attempts remaining instead of seven.

As I struggled to regain any pattern of breathing even remotely similar to my normal, Jaehyun simply stared down at me. His body, which showed no intention of withdrawing from mine, began to move closer to my stunned physique. His face hovering only inches away from mine.

I kept my eyes closed as tightly as I could to find some sort of grounding as I recovered from the impact. I only opened my eyes after hearing a soft chuckle.

“Cute,” Jaehyun thought to himself.

I stared back at him shocked by how close he was. I instinctively tried to pull away from him but there was nowhere to go. I was already pressed against the mat. With nowhere to go and nowhere else to look, my eyes met his.

I prepared myself for the humiliation that would come with looking at whatever amused look might be staring back. After hearing his laughter, I was sure that he was going to tease me, and I was going to chew him out for it. Yet when my eyes met his, the expression that stared back at me wasn’t the self-satisfied grin I had become so familiar with.

This look was one I hadn’t seen before, at least not from Jaehyun. It wasn’t the cocky look he often adorned while teasing me nor was it the coldhearted disposition I had been intimidated by time and time again. His rose gold bangs fell past his eyes in a vain attempt to hide them, but the intensity they held was desperate to be noticed. That intensity seemed to be the only thing desperate about them. Despite having just finished a fight, as brief as it might have been, Jaehyun looked more sedate than one would expect. His calm and collected state did little to ease my quickening heart as a glimmer of playfulness seemed to linger across his features. This mischievousness garnered especially in his upturned lips which I momentarily glimpsed at in a foolish attempt to alleviate the frenzy of nervousness I felt from holding his gaze.

Jaehyun noticed my wandering eyes, completely aware of where they had drifted off to.

My eyes returned to his only to see that they were looking lower than they had before.

I didn’t have time to question where he was looking before he began to lessen the space between us, his lips slowly enclosing on mine. Unable to do much else, I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side frantically trying to escape his advances which only drew closer and closer until...

“If that’s all you needed me for, then I’ll be off.”

My already tense body jolted slightly at the unexpected voice and my eyes opened just enough to see that Jaehyun’s face had retreated from mine.

“Ah. Yes. Very well.” Jaehyun coughed, making sure not to stutter as he dismissed his second in command.

As soon as Taeyong left the room, Jaehyun rolled off of me and stood up.

I quickly followed, but not before mouthing a silent thank you to Taeyong. Despite him having already left, I felt the need to express my gratitude, even if my thanks only fell upon deaf ears.

“Well, we both should be heading back. My mother will arrive soon, and you need to be ready to greet her. I’ll send Haechan over to fill you in on your backstory,” Jaehyun advised as his eyes hovered on everything in the room except me.

“I’m confident that you won’t purposely cause any trouble, that is if you don’t want to forfeit any of your six remaining chances.”

“I won’t.”

Jaehyun finally turned towards me surprised by my sudden willingness to obey.

“I’ll stay true to my end of the deal as long as you stay true to yours, including what you said about teaching me how to counter your attacks,” I promised.

Jaehyun nodded before making his exit from the training room.

<><><><><>

“Thank God he didn’t leave me with anymore bruises. Imagine having to explain that to his mother,” I sighed.

“Damn. That’s crazy.”

“I’m amazed he didn’t tell any of you about the deal he offered me.”

“He wouldn’t bother telling us about a bet he had no chance of losing, even if the stakes were this high.”

“Wow, thanks, Donghy- fuck, Haechan.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll take some time to get used to. I keep forgetting that I don’t have to censor myself around you anymore.”

“Yeah right, like you ever censored yourself around me.”

“I meant with hiding the fact that I’m a gangster, you idiot,” Haechan scolded, hitting me on the side of the arm.

“Ouch!” I howled exaggerating the pain before Haechan playfully tackled me, the both of us erupted in a fit of giggles as we fell on the bed.

“Come on, you need to get ready and I need to catch you up on your cover story. Mrs. Lee isn’t the type to be easily fooled,” Haechan explained.

Before I had returned, Haechan had already laid out a set of clothes for me to wear. I had just gotten out of the shower and put on a towel before deciding to catch my old friend up on what had occurred at my latest training session. I had wanted to catch him up on everything that had occurred since he and I talked that fateful night, but there never seemed to be enough time and I was sure that he already knew the basics.

“I know this isn’t your usual style, but you’ll like it I promise.”

“Haechan... It’s frilly.”

“No, it’s not, it’s... okay yeah it’s frilly, but this will leave a good impression on Mrs. Lee so just think of it as one of your burlesque costumes or somethings.

“You want me to pretend that wearing this dress to impress a woman whose son I’m being forced to marry is anything like wearing a costume for burlesque?”

“Yes... and sure it is. Think of it like this. You wear burlesque costumes to seduce your audience. Well, isn’t making a good impression on someone a bit like seducing them?”

I paused weighing his words.

“I hate how much sense that makes in a twisted way.”

An accomplished smile took over Haechan’s face.

“Now, hurry up and put it on.”

Over the past years of Haechan and my friendship, we had become thicker than thieves. We both felt comfortable changing in front of each other, especially since Haechan had as much interest in women as I had in gauging my eyes out with a rusty spoon.

“How do I look?” I asked.

It was a simple baby blue dress with a conservative cut to it. The neck allowed for only my clavicle to be exposed. The puffy tulle sleeves extended over the entirety of my arms, yet the see-through material didn’t leave anything from the eye. The bottom of the dress resembled an a-line skirt stopping right above my knees. The shoes Haechan picked out were simple white strappy sandals with subtle daisy decals where the buckles were. Although it wasn’t exactly an outfit, I‘d never choose for myself, even I had to admit that I looked like the perfect daughter-in-law.

Haechan gave the outfit a once over before speaking.

“Like you’re in desperate need of a hairbrush.”

“I know I don’t say this often, but I love how hesitant you are to say anything that might be considered unkind,” I joked sarcastically.

Haechan rolled his eyes before motioning for me to sit in vanity chair.

Once I was settled, Haechan began to brush my hair.

“It’ll be better if we keep as close to the truth as possible. If I’m being honest, I think that you and Mrs. Lee will get along almost perfectly something I don’t necessarily think is a good thing.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, when I think about it, you and Mrs. Lee have a lot of similarities, which is a good thing because that means that she’ll like you, but on the other hand, if she likes you too much, it’ll be harder for you to hide things from her.”

“Ah,” I responded.

I wanted to asked what similarities I could possibly have with a former mob wife but couldn’t as Haechan quickly began discussing the details of my backstory.

“So, you have two stories you have to commit to memory. The first one being the story we present to the public, aka the story that claims that you were working with NCT to take down Lucas. We haven’t worked out all the details yet as we need to come up with a reason for keeping Lucas’ death a secret, so you won’t have to worry about that for a while. Since Mrs. Lee is still a prominent figure with close ties to NCT and its leader, she knows that Lucas’ death was not NCT’s doing. Basically, the only thing that we are going to keep from her is how you and Jaehyun met along with your career as a dancer. Mothers aren’t exactly the types to squeal with joy at the thought of their sons marrying strippers,” he teased, causing me to roll my eyes.

Haechan pulled the hair out of my face and began braiding it.

“You’re a barista at John and J’s, a small shop in Itaewon. Jaehyun happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to try the place out. He noticed a man at the counter was blatantly harassing you, so he decided to step in. After the man finally left, you thanked Jaehyun and that’s when he noticed your necklace. He asked where you got it and you told him it was a family heirloom. Aware that this was not the case, Jaehyun started going to the coffee shop every day, making pleasant conversation in order to earn your trust. One day as you were closing, that man from before showed up and made another scene. Seeing that you were visibly spooked from the encounter, Jaehyun offered to walk you home. You accepted. Once you were at the door to your building, Jaehyun brought up Lucas. At first you were terrified that he was a member of Wayv, but he quickly eased your worries and told him about that night. After hearing your story, Jaehyun offered you protection from Wayv along with financial rewards in exchange for your cooperation. You two began dating shortly after and when Jaehyun suggested that you two get married for the sake of NCT’s image, you were extremely hesitant. Once it became clear to you that the council wanted to force Jaehyun into an arranged marriage, you agreed out of fear of losing him to someone else.”

I stared at Haechan’s reflection, mouth agape.

“What?” Haechan sighed, already aware of how ridiculous it all was.

“Really? I thought you said the closer we stuck to the truth, the better, not that we were gonna write a cheesy romance novel. I mean, seriously! What was that? After freaking out and locking me up, you want me to tell Momma-Mob-Boss that not only did her son reacted calmly to seeing the necklace, but that he fucking came to my rescue? Who wrote this? Dong- ah, Haechan, please tell me you weren’t the one who came up with this BS,“ I scoffed.

Haechan let out a sigh.

“It doesn’t matter who wrote it, it’s the most believable story we have that presents this marriage as something you would willingly agree to. We even had to fudge the timeline a bit, making it so that you and he met at the coffee shop a month ago instead of just a few days ago.”

“Yeah like a month would really make much of a difference. Sure, this man almost beat me to death, but that’s not the reason I’m so hesitant to marry him. I’m only concerned with us having only met a few days ago. Oh wait,” I spat.

“Well then, what are you gonna do?”

I huffed before turning in my chair to face him.

“What do you mean?” I demanded.

“What are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell her the truth and lose your opportunity to get out of here? And after that, what then? Are you gonna keep rebelling and pushing back against Jaehyun until he has to chain you up? Are you going to make your life a living hell all for the sake of your pride? You’re right. This is bullshit, but it’s the bullshit that’s gonna get you through the next week. And if you don’t win against Jaehyun, then get ready for even more bullshit, because that’s what you can expect to deal with if you want things to get better. Stop mourning your old life! Just accept that your problems aren’t gonna go away just because you fight against them!”

My body had tensed up as Haechan seemed to lose his cool for a second. I didn’t know what to say but I felt like I had to say something. As soon as I opened my mouth to respond, a knock fell on the door.

“Guys, Mrs. Lee’s car just arrived at the gates. We have around 5 minutes before she’ll arrive at the door,” The voice called out.

It was Taeyong.

“Shit,” Haechan cussed as he looked at me in the mirror. He quickly tucked a few loose strands behind my ears before motioning for me to get up.

“We didn’t have much time to prepare. Are you confident that you can remember everything? Actually, it doesn’t matter. Just try not to say anything stupid.”

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incorrect-mha-bnha · 4 years

Text

Trans Bakugou HC????

His first genuine smile happened after waking up from top surgery to see himself finally weightless after years of drowning. No one would ever forget how bright and alive he seemed as tears fell down his face in the hospital. Kirishima could have sworn to hearing a laugh slip through at one point, but of course that was denied.

Bakugou designed his hero suit to be a cross tank because he assumed his top surgery would have been done by then but sadly, kidnapping and hero bs got in the way. Now he has to wear sports bras under it until the appointment can be booked. Leaving him pissed and just slightly dysphoric out and about which helps aid his sour mood while training.

My poor boy Bakugou has D cups. Pray for him😔...No, but for real. The size of his unfortunate lumps caused a lot of dysphoria while wearing his hero suit. (Going back to the previous bullet) Because of their size, it was a lot harder to bind to satisfactory which led to a lot of methods being used until he just said fuck it and started weight lifting. (For those who don’t know, weight lifting turns breast tissue into muscle and some other cool pectoral shit. I know this because my Ma is a personal trainer.) It shrunk him down a few sizes while building muscle, giving the illusion of pecs so wearing a sports bra was bearable.

Bakugou went through many phases of figuring out who he wanted to be (that’s obvious but I’m not talking about gender wise) in terms of style and personality. He tried different types of styles until one stuck, now he looks like a gremlin in baggy clothes (on occasions). He also went through a makeup phase to try and darken his features.

When Bakugou is really dysphoric, he hunches over and grumbles a lot. Everyone usually stays away, discounting Midoriya and Kirishima. Them being the bravest and brightest always gang up on Bakugou to help bring his spirits and confidence up. Even let him get the anger out with a rough spar.

Bakugou changes in the bathroom of the locker room to avoid invasive eyes (Mineta) or is released 5 minutes early by his teachers to get a head start.

During his pre-top surgery days, Bakugou would wear a baggy shirt into the pool But practically avoided it altogether. The first person to really get him comfortable enough to uncross his arms in the pool, given that they somehow coaxed him in, was Kirishima.

Bakugou was never self conscious about his height, being visited by the height fairy during puberty but his hips and chest? Count them as life ruiners. Baby had so many dysphoria episodes in front of the mirror that he turned into an angry introvert.

T does a lot of shit to your body, one of those being heightening your aggression levels. If Bakugou was already slightly aggressive to begin with, his pleasancey took a nose dive after starting T.

Sigh, back on my KiriBaku bs but anyway. THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER CALL BAKUGOU MANLY WAS KIRISHIMA. AND THAT SHIT HIT DIFFERENTLY.

Uhmmm pro hero Bakuhou starting a fundraiser for trans kids and adults who are homeless, jobless (Aka struggling), in need of support or looking for others like them, searching for clarity, even protection. Bakugou is like the trans Jesus, that is all.

He literally hates what he feels like when someone points out that his mother and him look alike. Yeah, he fucking gets it but is there a need to point it out? Damn.

COMMITS himself to doing regular vocal excersises to lower his voice, even with T. His usual gruff tone is to mask the voice cracks he gets on the hormones, because that would be embarrassing.

When Bakugou got the call that he was going to get top surgery, he literally blew his phone up with so much excitment then burst into tears.

Showers suck- nuff said.

Midoriya was the first person to ever know about Bakugou being trans. So, he started bullying Midoriya into silence but soon realized the boy wouldn’t have uttered a word anyway and simply wanted to help and be there for him. Of course, Bakugou, being young and new to the life change, wanted everyone who had once known him as a girl to be gone. That meant he would try and remove Midoriya from his life for good but the green boy just kept on bouncing back. Imagine his surprise to know the one person with his secret would be attending high school with him. Shit got flipped.

All of the girls carry extra supplies for emergencies. Bakugou does too but sometimes a p*riod (I bleep because it can be a sensitive topic) just pops out of nowhere. It gets him frustrated and embarrassed whenever he isn’t prepared but the girls somehow always know the right timing to whisk him off to help or stealthily stuff some things into his pocket as they cross paths. It’s like a cartel of drugs but the girls are being true friends with pads in the end. Kirishima even got on the bandwagon and started carrying supplies for whoever may need it.

Bakugou refused to wear tampons, shit was a no go.

In the beginning, Bakugou would frequently steal one of the girl’s heating pads whenever the pain got unbearable. They hardly minded but Momo gifted him one as a present. He uses it all the time.

After he came out and became comfortable, Bakugou would joke about donating his lumps to the girls that bitched about being small chested. (We are looking at you Jirou). “Free unfortunate lumps for sale! I don’t want them, take the damn things!”, “Hey! Give me your chest, switch with me!”

Bakugou is a night dweller for many reasons. 1.) Time to not bind and give himself a break while doing stretches. 2.) snacks are Free real estate 3.) It’s easier to not bind while everyone isn’t there to witness him walking to relieve tension.

Bakugou once heard that frequent conception of coffee leads to a decrease in breast size by 0.3 cups. Bakugou ended up consuming so much that he stayed up for a total of 72 hours, almost overdosed, couldn’t sit still, finished everyone’s homework plus his own, deep cleaned the entire dorm and trained until he crashed. Now, he hates the taste of it but swears that his little shits shrunk a whole cup.

Imma say this loudly because it’s my favorite hc mostly because it’s what I do. BAKUGOU HATES WEARING LIGHT COLORS, THE BIGGEST FUCK NO GOS OUT TO WHITE SHIRTS. HE PREFERS TO WEAR DARK COLORS BECAUSE HIS BINDER IS BLACK. THE ONLY REASON HE WEARS HIS UNFORM, BEGRUDGINGLY, IS BECAUSE THE MATERIAL ISNT SEE THROUGH AND IT IS ALSO CRUMPLY. AKA, EASILY COVERS HIM UP BY GOING A SIZE UP.

His waist in snatched thanks to those bitch ass hips.

His first post surgery outfit was a very thin material white shirt because fuck yeah, get a view of his binder less chest under there!

Bakugou wears headphones while going about in public for a few reasons. 1.) He doesn’t like interacting with people and the headphones usually wards them off from bothering him. 2.) Loud music in his ears tends to tune out people misgendering him and transphobes being chucklefucks.

Bakugou got his respect to be called a guy from his family by blatantly ignoring anyone who called him by his deadman and/or used the wrong pronouns. “Bitch, suddenly I can’t hear. I don’t know who you think you are calling.”

Bakugou is very proud of any hair that grows on his body. (Sigh, take that how you wish). Literally prances around the UA grounds showing off even the tineiest hint of a beard, and raves over his growing leg hair.

Bakugou’s favorite movie is Mulan, fight me on that.

Bakugou’s life zeal is Be Trans Throw Hands

More to be added

Part 2

Part 3

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #katsuki #mha bakugo katsuki #trans bakugou #transgender bakugou #trans katsuki #bakugou headcanons #TransBakHC #dio bnha headcannons

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leiainhoth · 3 years

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Work summary: For so long, Din fought the reality of giving the child up, giving him to the jetii and moving on. He had prepared for it, packed a bag and left it all behind, so his son could have the life he deserved. All until he didn't have to. Or the one where Luke rescues Grogu on Tython, and Din rescues Luke in return.

Chapter summary: Din, Luke and the child settle in Mos Pelgo, and Luke begins training the child in the ways of the jetii.

...

Din stood on the threshold of Vanth's house, watching carefully as Grogu and Luke meditated. The child was still, his eyes closed, hands positioned just as had Luke told them to. He looked calm, powerful. In control of… whatever it was this jetii was teaching him.

This silence, was he teaching the child through their thoughts? It seemed strange, but Din didn't interrupt. The child was relaxed and content and seemed to enjoy Luke's company. And anyway, he was used to being passed around by strangers in Din's line of work and had seemingly made his peace with the reality that Din wasn't leaving. He was close by, and the child would never be alone again.

Not if Din had anything to say about it, at the very least.

When they left the Cantina, Din had watched the pilot carefully for any signs of aggression. He flipped through his HUD settings, keeping a steady eye on Luke's heart rate lest he try something unexpected.

But he… didn't. The jetii was the picture of detached calm, putting one foot in front of the other as they walked to their quarters. He had expected and dreaded a reaction from him when Vanth brought up the krayt dragon. Luke seemed to be familiar with Tatooine, or at least had knowledge of the area. He spoke freely, without apparently giving much thought to his speech. Din let him speak; he didn't mind it; so long as he wasn't expected to reciprocate, the little jetii could talk all he liked.

And anyway, maybe he had just been shocked. Seeing something unexpectedly could be a shock, and if Luke had had run-ins with the Tuskens before...Din would be foolish to assume his jetii would have a fair opinion of them. But just the same, if the people of Mos Pelgo were free, and had no reason to fear the Tuskens and vice versa, perhaps Tatooine would be a better place. Maybe, it could be a place he could settle.

But it was more than that, now. The jetii had lost his ship too, and his droid. He needed to return and make contact with his family. Fett had warned him about Luke's companions, calling them dangerous, aruetti. He wasn't sure if he was, now. He had known the jetii for less than a day, but he trusted him. This strange man with a green jetii'kad and eyes the colour of the sky. Din trusted him more than he'd admit to.

So it was with comfort that Din watched the pair, relaxed in the warm evening air. The wind was blowing softly, and Din watched the wind as it ruffled the baby's hood and mussed Luke's hair. Neither seemed to notice, but Din smiled, nonetheless.

And then, almost as if in slow motion, the child hummed and then began to hover, his little body rising from the ground. Din panicked, moving without a second thought and reached, his fingers stretching desperately, only just grabbing the child by the hem of his red tunic before tugging the baby into his arms.

Grogu blinked his eyes open, and Din breathed a sigh of relief, pulling the child close to him. "You okay?"

The baby gurgled and laughed, looking over his shoulder to where Luke sat. He closed his eyes and extended a hand, raising the jetii from his perch. Luke scrambled, his eyes opening in surprise and shock as he hovered a metre above the sand. Luke's lightsaber slipped off his belt in the struggle, and Din laughed as he watched what his son could do.

"Let him down, ad'ika,"

The baby released his hand, and Luke caught himself, landing on his feet before dusting off his leggings.

"Good work, Grogu," Luke praised earnestly, looking up at Din for permission before taking a step closer, running a hand over the curve of the baby's ear. "It took me a month to learn how to levitate objects through the force!"

The baby giggled, and Din could feel the warmth and happiness flowing off of his son. "But it's time for you to rest," Luke said, reaching down to retrieve his jetii'kad.

"Vanth sent a meal," Din said, leading Luke inside the house. The spread was warm and carefully prepared; a bubbling stew in crockery, a ladle lolling under the lid. Flat, dense bread sat on a platter under a piece of cloth, with vegetables coated in a sticky green sauce. A canteen of water had accompanied the meal, as well as a sweet pudding the colour of the sky.

"Looks good," Luke said, cleaning his hands on his tunic. He looked up at Din for confirmation before sitting, seeming to hesitate when Din remained standing.

"The kid and I will eat in private," Din said, dishing up two plates with a little bit of everything for him and Grogu, carefully pouring water into a glass for the child.

"Oh…uh, of course," Luke said, flushing. Was he embarrassed? Had Din done something to fluster him? "I can eat in my room too if that's easier. It's just me, I don't mind,"

Din hesitated; he hadn't offered in expectation of being refused. It would be more comfortable to eat at a table, and Din had spent his life among strangers eating in private, cramped places. It was nothing to him to be uncomfortable, and the kid wouldn't mind. But Luke, this stranger, looked put off; uneasy. It was…oddly considerate.

"I'll eat in my room," Luke said, dishing up a plate as well. Din scoffed under his breath, noticing Luke go back for a second serving of pudding before leaving in a hurry. "Rest easy, I'll announce myself before I return,"

Din wasn't sure how long he watched the staircase where the jetii had disappeared to, like a womp rat scurrying back to its hole. He wasn't sure what had just transpired but appreciated the gesture, just the same. It wasn't often that strangers were considerate of his creed.

Din sat down, setting the plate down and settling in to eat. He looked over to the staircase before removing his helm, setting it down carefully on the table.

"Let's clean your hands, little one," Din said softly, taking the child's hands in his own, wiping them on the cloth covering the bread before letting the child eat. Grogu dug in with vigour; whatever Luke had been teaching the child made him ravenous. Din smiled to himself as he ate, grinning as blue pudding smeared itself over the baby's chin.

Even here, Din worried for the child's safety. His blaster rested on his hip, and he looked to the doorway where the pulse rifle lay, cocked and loaded. He knew that the empire was still after him, and it was clear that the child's hunters had never ceased their search for him. The fobs would still be active, and Fennec had said the bounty had increased to a frighteningly high fee. The thought of losing him now…it was unbearable. They had fought too hard and lost so much, and Din could hardly let the child out of his sight; sometimes it hurt to let him out of his arms. Logically, he knew the child was safe. The dunes were level around Mos Pelgo, and with his HUD, he would see an incoming threat from kilometres away. But it grated on him, an itch he would never be able to rid himself of. No matter what he did, or how far he ran or how careful he was, the child would remain in danger so long the Moff was alive. He was sure now that it was he who had commissioned the bounty on the child, with his death, the fobs would become inactive.

At least, that was the standard practice. More than once, Din had heard the transmitter lose its signal on a hunt and was forced to return without his bounty. But was it different with a Moff? Would there be precautions in place to track the quarry once the commissioner had died? Din didn't know, and he wasn't willing to leave it be. The Moff, the empire, all of it. They threatened the child, and Din would do whatever it took to keep the baby safe.

If Luke knew, he didn't show it. If he had been in the rebellion, Din was sure that he would be sympathetic towards the child's cause. And as a jetii, he had powers enough to protect the child if it came to it. Din wondered if it was his sorcery that made him this way, but there was something different about him; about Luke and how he treated Grogu. Many treated the child as just that, a child, someone who was helpless and required care. But it was more than that; the child was older than Din was; he had knowledge and skills that Din couldn't begin to understand. Luke treated the child like an equal, someone worthy of intelligent conversation and kindness. Din was satisfied that he finally found someone who understood his son. Someone who genuinely cared for him, someone who wanted to teach him the way of the jetii.

Din turned his head back to his meal. He never thought he'd come back here. The day he had left Tatooine with his passenger in tow, he thought he had seen the last of this dustbowl. Mos Pelgo was isolated, desolate, a small town the same as any other in the galaxy. When Fennec had told him Fett's intended destination in the belly of Slave I, Din hadn't hesitated. Mos Pelgo wasn't much, but it was as good as any other planet, and he was confident that the Marshal would take him and the child in. What a beroya, and furthermore a vod like Fett was doing on Tatooine was a mystery to him. Maybe he called these dunes and sand home.

Before they had left, Fett had left Din his personal comm code (for the very next time his comm was functional, Din thought with a snort. His helmet comm had fizzled out months ago). Until they made the journey to Mos Eisley, Din was stuck in this tiny town in Tatooine.

That wasn't to say that Din was uncomfortable with the idea of being stuck in Mos Pelgo; quite the opposite. He was relieved for a respite and happy for a couple days of rest with the kid. He was glad to help Vanth, thankful for the idea of acting intimidating without (with any luck) having to do any real intimidation. The Tuskens in town would help with that; most occupants of Tatooine were frightened of them.

Din ripped off a piece of bread and mopped the gravy off his plate with it, taking the last few bites before sitting back, satisfied. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten so well. The baby was full too, Din had indulged the child in more pudding than what was good for him and cleaned the corners of his mouth with a gentle hand.

He re-donned his helm and stood, taking the plates to the sonic dishwasher, loading the small machine with his and Grogu's dishes. Din packed the remainder of the meal into the icebox for breakfast the next morning.

A small voice called from below, and Din made a noise of affirmation, letting the pilot know he was helmed and aware of Luke's incoming presence.

Luke walked up the staircase gingerly, almost bashfully. Din turned away, uncomfortable and unsure with this strange behaviour. They might not know each other well, but Luke had done nothing other than be as considerate and kind as he had been the whole time Din had known him.

"It was delicious," Luke said, sidestepping Din and placing his plate and cutlery into the machine himself, entering the code for a cycle before walking towards the child. He hesitated before reaching for the baby, looking for confirmation from Din. When he nodded, Luke took a step forward, smiling at the baby. Grogu looked tired, it had been a long day, but still pulled a smile and shriek of delight for his teacher, one claw still curiously coated in pudding.

"Yeah?" Luke said, squatting down to the child's height. "Your dad let you do what?"

"What's he telling you?" Din asked, curious.

"Oh, nothing," Luke said, cracking a half-smile at Din before turning back towards the child. "Oh, very pretty," he said, watching with wonder as the child moved about in his chair. Din took a step forward, worried the child would fall, but the child settled, looking up at Luke with a grin.

Luke sat up, taking the baby in his arms with ease. "Grogu was telling me about his new tunic. He says you made it for him, and he wanted to tell you that he likes it very much,"

"Oh," Din said, suddenly speechless. He wasn't an artisan, and his skills in making clothing were rudimentary at best. But Din liked seeing the baby in something he had made; it stirred a strange sense of pride in his heart. The baby liked something he made for him.

Luke handed Din the child, smiling as the baby settled against Din's shoulder. "You're so good with him,"

"Thank you," Din said, rocking the child as he relaxed into his arms.

"I'll have to thank the Marshal in the morning," Luke said with a yawn, looking up at Din with a soft smile. "He's a good cook. But I'm exhausted. See you in the morning?"

Din nodded in affirmation and tried not to watch as that strange man descended the staircase.

The house that Vanth had given them was sufficient; comfortable. Small and safe with two bedrooms and a minuscule 'fresher in the basement. Luke had taken the smaller bedroom on what Din had initially believed to be impulse, entering the room with a small smile tossed Din's way before the door shut when they first arrived. It was strange but good, nice to have his needs considered before Luke considered his own. It had been...years, maybe, since he had felt this comfortable somewhere other than the Crest.

Din descended the staircase himself and led the child into the opposite bedroom, placing the child gently on the bed before removing his armour. The baby was still, his eyes blinking open and shut as he fought sleep. It had been a long day by ordinary standards; a battle with the empire around the Seeing Stone, losing his ship, almost losing the kid. And he had carried the unconscious jetii to Fett's ship, running on the uneven ground and leaping over rocks. His body ached, the muscles tense and tight in his back and arms. He loosened his bandolier and removed it, replacing the cartridges from his belt before hanging it over the bedpost. He sat with a groan, kicking off one boot and then the other, uncaring of where they landed. He had already changed the child into his new red jumper, and the baby seemed pleased with his new clothes. Din ran a hand over the child's head, relieved beyond words that the baby was still his.

"Time to sleep, Grogu," Din said softly, pulling the sheets over the baby.

The baby mewled, unwilling to close his eyes. Din knew that it was different now, but the child didn't. Did the baby think that Din was going to leave if he closed his eyes?

"Buir needs to remove his armour," Din whispered, holding the little hand in his own. "Buir isn't leaving. I'm right here, ad'ika,"

A rush of warmth and affection flowed through Din's mind, and he smiled, welcoming the child's presence in his head. The presence, Grogu's presence, wasn't demanding or coarse. Unlike the night before, when the child had known that Din was leaving him behind, his presence was soft and warm. His son being overwhelmingly relieved that Din was safe and nearby.

Din closed his eyes and breathed deeply, his mind calming as he settled. He wished he could prove to the child that he wasn't going to abandon him, that he would never leave, that even though Luke was here, Din wasn't going to disappear. He wished he could tell the baby how much he loved him, how much the baby meant to him, how relieved Din was that the jetii hadn't whisked the child away. The baby gurgled and brought Din's hand close to the child's chest, and Din's heart melted.

safe

"Yeah, kid," Din said thickly, removing his helmet and setting it beside the child. He pulled the child close to him, tucking his little head into his shoulder, sniffing as tears blurred his vision. "Yeah, we're going to be safe here,"

Din was hesitant to let the child out of his arms, worried that the baby would take his movement as a sign that he was leaving. Even so, he moved carefully, lowering the child onto the sheets with a watery smile, watching the child all the while.

"Buir is going to wash. Stay here, ad'ika,"

The child grinned, settling into the blankets with a noise of contentment. Din leant down and kissed the child's forehead before reaching for helm and leaving the room.

The 'fresher was small but well-stocked. Soap and various grooming supplies, as well as a small medkit lined the shelf above the sink. Linens and spare underthings were in a basket, and Din sighed in relief, glad he wasn't going to have to sleep in soiled under-kute.

Din washed his face quickly, uneasy with the idea of being helmless even though he surmised Luke to already be asleep. He ran a hand over his curls, grinning at the sight. The baby liked his hair, tangling his fingers in it when they moved together throughout the ship. It was getting longer, and his moustache could do with a trim. There weren't many personal vanities Din took with his appearance; the kid didn't seem to care, and he was the only one Din had allowed seeing him helmless.

He stripped himself of his armour methodically, removing the pauldrons, cuirass and cape with one smooth motion, piling the beskar'gam in a pile beside the door. He wished he had something of his own to change into, Hoth; he'd give anything to have his ship back. He didn't have much, but the Crest held what little he had in the way of personal effects. A clean tunic and his cot in the corner was all he wanted. But I still had the child, Din thought with a sad smile. And he has the things he needs. I have my honour and my pride; the creed is upheld and maintained. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.

He pulled off his socks and stepped out of his under-linens, activating the sonic shower and stepping inside. The cycle started immediately, and Din sighed as sonic waves rolled over his body, removing the sweat and dust from his skin. He didn't mind sonics; they were functional and reliable, even the Crest had one that worked consistently. It was a luxury to use water for bathing, and despite the relative stability of Mos Pelgo, water was a precious resource. It was sinful to waste it.

Din raised his arms to let the waves flow between his hair as the sonic completed its cycle. He stepped out and closed the unit's door softly, feeding his kute and under-linens into the sonic cleaner beside the shower unit without a second thought. He activated the machine for a long sanitizing cycle and popped a toothpaste tab under his tongue, dressing quickly and taking his armour in hand before leaving the room.

The baby was asleep by the time Din slipped into the bedroom, his little hands clutching the sheets, mouth open as he snored. Din shut the door quietly and tucked his armour onto the chair in the corner, and rummaged through the child's things, retrieving his cape and socks, as well as his bantha toy. He picked the child up softly and dressed him in warmer clothing, placing one sock on his clawed foot and then the other, before wrapping him in the blue blanket from Sorgan and tucking the baby close to Din's chest.

Din sat down slowly, rocking the child in his arms as he settled on the bed. It was comfortable, the sheets dry and warm. The baby tucked himself into Din's chest, and Din pulled the sheets over them both, enveloping the baby in warmth until they both fell asleep.

…

The morning dawned early, and Din awoke suddenly to the shock of silence. The sickening realization of his current whereabouts settled like a weight on Din's heart; the Crest had been destroyed. The sound of the Crest's ion engines misfiring and reigniting were comforting and familiar; it had been so long since he had slept in silence. Even on Maldo Kreis, the sounds of shifting ice and snow had lulled him to sleep.

Mindful of the child, Din sat up, smiling despite himself as the baby blinked his eyes open. The child's lips smacked comically, and Din chuckled, pulling Grogu's hood off. It might be early, but the heat of the day was coming, and the child was warm enough as it was.

"Good morning, Grogu," Din said, leaning down to kiss the child's forehead. The baby gurgled and smiled, his hands reaching for Din's nose as he pressed his forehead into Grogu's. "Are you hungry?"

"Uh?"

"Food?"

Grogu nodded, his little head bobbing comically, and Din grinned." Course you are,"

Din pulled the child's clothes out of the cloth bag and settled the contents on the bed. It was lucky that Din had brought it; he was glad the child could be in comfort even if he couldn't. He pulled out a thin tunic that would cover the child's body from the sun and began to remove the many layers he had dressed the child in for bed. The child smiled and gurgled from below him, and Din couldn't remember ever feeling this satisfied.

For the first time in a long time, the child was safe. He would be protected; Luke could stand by his side in battle if it came to it. They had somewhere to stay and food aplenty. Din and the baby could be happy here.

"Here's your toys," Din said, laying out the bantha as well as the fish from Sorgan and his dursteel knob.

"Buir," the baby burbled, and Din's heart nearly burst with love. And then, wordlessly, the words echoing and bouncing about in Din's head. Love you.

"Yes, Grogu," he said, kneeling and brushing his forehead against the child's. "I love you too,"

The baby smiled, shifting to sit up. He considered his toys carefully, unsure of the favourite for the day. Din let him peruse his options, one hand on the doorframe before he donned his helm and left the room.

Din opened the door to the 'fresher, surprised to see his under linens and kute clean and folded beside the sink, the cycle having been restarted. Luke must've needed it, Din thought with a sniff of discomfort. It was strange enough to be occupying the same living quarters with a stranger, but to have him fold his underthings? It felt like a violation.

A razor also sat on the edge of the sink, and Din's curiosity peaked. Luke looked young; his stature and easy-going nature made it easy to forget that he was a pilot and a Jedi. A grown man, one who apparently needed to shave despite the distinct lack of scruff on his face the day before. Whoever he was, and wherever he had come from before rescuing them on Tython, he was a man of some importance.

But to Din, Luke was still a stranger. He was the jetii who had saved his child's life. His contradictions lined up one after the other; he was the man who fancied sweets and snored in his sleep, the one who was curiously kind and gentle with Grogu.

Din wasn't sure what he thought of him, but his presence flowed over Din like warmed honey. It was comfortable to be with him, this strange jetii who had left his life on a whim to teach a baby.

Din sighed as he pulled on his underthings, trying to think of Luke's invasive favour as a kindness. It wasn't difficult; he was kind. But it was still uncomfortable knowing that this stranger had handled his linens, and Din tried to bypass his discomfort by dressing quickly, popping a toothpaste tab into his mouth before lowering his helm and leaving the room.

The child clutched his fish toy as Din re-entered, and Din grinned at the baby as he re-donned his armour.

This was a strange practice of comfort, one Din was unused to; a bed and food to eat was more than plenty for his needs. But it was good for the child to have somewhere steady; Grogu deserved to stay still for a while. With any luck, the empire wouldn't find them here.

And anyway, it wasn't as if Din could leave even if he wanted to. Vanth had been clear; no one goes on their own. Not while the syndicate was in disarray, and especially not at night.

Din sighed; he wished, not for the first time, that he still had the Crest. If he did, he could take the child and Luke and… what? Where would he go? He had no home to return to. No clan, no covert. He had no way of contacting them without the Crest; even if they had settled somewhere else, Din wouldn't be able to know. He could put out some feelers when they reached Mos Eisley, Din thought with a sigh. And that was with the thought that Luke would want to come with him, should he have the ability to leave. Din had never met a real rebellion pilot before; his dealings with the New Republic had made him jaded to their kind. He couldn't afford to give himself up to them; what would become of the child if he did? Luke didn't strike Din as one who would try and steal Grogu, or someone who would make off in the night with Din's valuables. He was…warm. Din wasn't able to feel other's emotions other than the baby's, and that was only when the child made the connection first. But there was something about him…something Din couldn't put his finger on. He was young, painfully young, but proficient and skilled as a warrior. It had been only hours since Din had met him, but he trusted him. Much in the same way he had trusted Omera, and Peli and Cara and Cobb Vanth. Something about them felt safe; he hadn't hesitated to put himself in harm's way with the knowledge that they would take care of the child if he was gone.

Luke felt the same to him; he was considerate and kind to the child. He had responded to this situation with a surprising amount of guile, a sort of resigned temperament that Din could understand.

For so long, his mission had been clear, find the jetii and deliver the child to them. Din had rarely thought beyond that moment; it was too painful. He didn't want to consider what life would be like once the child was gone. Who Din would be once the baby was no longer his.

But somehow, he had done the impossible. He had found the jetii and kept the child by his side. The Jedi, Luke, he had allowed Din to stay. He had let Din remain a part of the baby's life.

There was so much that Din didn't understand, so much about the jetii he had never considered before. He had been told that they were child-snatchers, kidnappers. They took children from their buire, from their aliit and delivered them to aruetti. Never to be seen again. He had been warned as an ad to not leave the covert, to stay where it was safe lest the jetii find him and take him away. It seemed ironic, now, that Din had not only left his covert and his clan behind but delivered his own child to the jetii in direct rebuttal to everything the alor had ever taught him. If they ever to see one another again, Din wished he could tell her a different tale; a happier one, a story of a father and son bound together forever.

#found family #The mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #mando'a lessons #my fic #family bonding #strangers to friends to lovers #dinluke #din djarin x luke skywalker #din djarin/luke skywalker #Cobb Vanth is a 10/10 cook 9ABY #IJADIHIM-xXxVioletSkyxXx

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