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jrob64 · 9 months

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Never Leave Me - NOW WITH A NEW ENDING!

I recently reread this story and realized I could write one more, very important scene to add to the end of it. If you've read it before, I hope you like the addition. If you haven't read it, I hope you'll give it a try. It's a CS Modern AU hurt/comfort story and is rated M for a couple of smutty scenes.

Special thanks to @sotangledupinit for the picture manips of Emma & Killian and to @hookedmom for her beta skills.

SUMMARY: Emma Swan is a firefighter at the same station where Killian Jones works as a paramedic. Their love for each other burns as bright and hot as the fires Emma works to put out, but with both of them having demanding and potentially dangerous occupations, will he be able to keep his promise to never leave her?

Words: 10,003

Also on Ao3 and ffn

The story starts right out with smut, so it's under the cut.

*********

“It’s nice when our schedules sync up,” Emma Swan said, rubbing her foot up and down the calf of her boyfriend’s bare leg, as they lingered in bed.

“Aye, that it is,” Killian Jones agreed, tugging her a little closer and burying his nose in her tangled nest of blonde hair. “It’s even nicer when our shifts don’t start for another three hours.” He turned onto his side and reached down with his right hand to grip her hip, pulling her against his prominent erection, their bodies still naked from their amorous activities before going to sleep the night before.

“I can’t start a twenty-four hour shift already worn out,” she protested weakly, craning her neck despite her words, to allow him better access for the trail his tongue was blazing.

“I’m allowing some time in the schedule for recovery,” he mused, before twirling his tongue around her nipple then sucking it into his mouth.

“You…uh…you're setting a schedule…for sex?” she mumbled through the haze of pleasure he was bringing her.

“Mmhmm, including our shower to clean up afterwards.” His tongue continued its wicked path down her soft skin, briefly dipping into her belly button.

“Fuck, Killian…”

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do, my love. Just give me a few minutes to make sure you’re ready.” His fingers reached the apex of her thighs before his tongue did, finding her already wet and responsive to his touch. “Mm-mm-mm, you woke up aroused as well.”

“Sleeping with you naked…always does that to me.”

“I know. That’s why I do it so often,” he smirked up at her. “Tell me what you want, Darling. You know how much I love hearing your dirty requests coming from that sweet mouth.”

Emma tugged lightly on his hair. “Get me to the edge with your fingers, then fuck me with your cock.”

“Your wish is my command,” he grinned, then slid two fingers through her glistening folds, while nudging her legs further apart. The moan she emitted as his fingers entered her was positively indecent and he tore his eyes away from the sight to look up at his love. Both hands gripped his hair and her head was thrown back against the pillows, giving him a wonderful view of her pert breasts.

The wet sounds he was pulling from her told him she was nicely lubricated and would be ready for his fully erect cock when she gave him the signal. He pumped in and out, willing her to get there soon, since he was more than ready himself.

“More,” she gasped, and he obliged, adding a third digit on the next pass. Seeking friction, he used his left hand to position her calf under him, so he could rub his length against it.

“Play with yourself, Love,” he requested, because her fondling and squeezing her breasts never failed to turn both of them on even more.

She threw him a sultry look and released her grip on his hair to do his bidding. Her movements were seductive and the sounds she was making made him impossibly harder.

“Gods, Emma, please tell me you’re nearly ready,” he groaned, grinding his thumb against her sensitive nub in hopes of getting her there more quickly.

“Almost…”

Unable to wait any longer, he lowered his head and sucked hard on her clit, producing the desired result of her shouting his name and thrusting her hips up at him. He knew from experience that when she did that, she was very close to climax.

He slid his fingers out completely, smirking at her curses, and scrambled to his knees on the bed, reaching behind her to pull her upright against him. She understood his intention and tucked her legs over his hips, gripping his shoulders and lifting her pelvis.

His tongue plunged into her mouth as his cock plunged into her down below. Emma planted her feet on the bed and Killian gripped her ass firmly, giving him leverage enough to drive into her at a punishing, but highly pleasurable, pace.

She came almost immediately with a long, loud moan of his name, causing him to stutter momentarily, before continuing to thrust with rapid strokes into the lava of her center. Emma closed her eyes and dug her nails into his shoulder blades, creating sweet pain that spurred him on even more.

Their frenzied pace reached a peak as her walls clamped more tightly around him, rippling along his member, until it undid him. Streams of his release shot into her, their bodies clinging fiercely to each other as their sweat slickened bodies shuddered and jerked.

Killian eased Emma backwards and collapsed on top of her, licking at the salty moistness in the hollow of her throat. “I…will never…get enough…of you,” he panted.

“Mmm, me neither,” she agreed, sifting her fingers through his damp hair.

They lay tangled together until the rush of blood in their ears abated and their heart rates returned to normal. He knew by now that she relished his weight resting on her after making love. Early on in their relationship, he was always afraid of crushing her and would quickly withdraw and roll to the side, but she soon made it clear she wanted him to stay inside and on top of her as long as possible. It made her feel secure, she confided, like he would never leave her; which he assured her he would never do, but he understood. Her entire life, people had pulled away from her and abandoned her. He would do whatever it took for her to believe him, when he said he would never be one of those people.

“What’s next on the agenda, Babe?” she teased.

He chuckled into her skin. “I believe it’s time for that shower, my love.”

They barely had time to pour coffee into travel mugs and grab a couple of bagels, before running out the door. Leaving him with a quick kiss, she got into her yellow VW bug and backed out, the bagel clenched tightly in her teeth, before waving and heading to the fire station.

He shook his head fondly and hopped into his Chevelle SS, following her out of the parking lot to go to the same destination.

*********

They met nearly two years before, when Emma had just become certified and inducted as a firefighter, assigned to the station where Killian worked as a paramedic. The second she stepped through the door of the break room, he was a goner. She was tough, intelligent, beautiful, and not afraid to put men who gave her any guff, in their place.

He would never forget how she reacted when Will let out a wolf whistle upon seeing her. The next second, she was nose-to-nose with him, index finger planted in the middle of his chest. “Are you and I gonna have problems?” she had asked through gritted teeth.

Will turned eight shades of red, before replying, “N-no, ma’am. I apologize.”

“Apology accepted. Make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she had replied, sweeping her eyes around to encompass every man in the room.

Most of them uttered their affirmation or shook their heads, but Killian just sat slack-jawed, in awe of the blonde fireball.

Weeks of working together reaffirmed his analysis of her toughness. She was perfectly capable of performing all the duties expected of her job, and wouldn’t stand for any of her colleagues jumping in to help her when it was something she could do herself.

Killian’s admiration and respect grew every day he worked with her. He also felt a growing attraction to her, which he tried to tamp down, knowing she probably had a boyfriend already or wasn’t interested in dating someone with whom she worked so closely.

So he nearly had to treat himself for shock five months after she started at the station, when she boldly asked him out. Killian jumped at the chance to get to know her outside of work, and soon they were dating exclusively. A year later, they found an apartment close to the station and moved in together.

Killian had lost his mother and brother, with no recollection of his father, and Emma had been in foster care her entire childhood, until she was adopted as a pre-teen, opting to keep her self-chosen last name of ‘Swan’. They surrounded themselves with friends who became like family, and created a home together, something they both craved.

It wasn’t always easy. Emma was headstrong and stubborn, Killian would become stoic and refused to talk when angered, but what they had was worth fighting for, and they knew it. He understood her abandonment issues and reassured her with his words and actions that he would never leave. She understood his need for nurturing and intimacy, and let down the walls around her heart to allow him in. He was the only person who got to see her soft, vulnerable side and vowed he would never take that privilege for granted.

Their jobs were demanding, but satisfying, and they didn’t let their relationship affect their performance at work. If anything, they were more efficient when on the same rescue runs, because they seemed to be able to read each other’s mind. Their co-workers admired the professionalism they exhibited, and didn’t tease them too much when they snuck in an occasional embrace.

For the first time in both of their lives, they were truly, completely happy.

*********

They arrived at the station ten minutes before their shift started. Killian parked beside Emma, grabbed his travel mug, and met her as she exited her bug. Even though their shift began at the same time, they learned by experience that circumstances could easily keep them from ending at the same time, so they always drove separately.

“Ten bucks says Scarlet is late,” she quipped, as they walked through the open overhead doors.

“Give the guy a break - he’s a newlywed,” Killian replied.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe he talked someone into marrying him.”

“Belle is good for him.”

“You mean she’s too good for him.”

“Oi! I heard that!” Will piped up from behind them.

“Ten bucks. Pay up, Swan,” Killian smirked, holding out his hand.

“You never agreed to the bet, Jones.”

“I’m sure she’ll pay you back some other way. If I were you, I’d insist on sexual favors,” Will said, winking and nudging Killian with his elbow, then walking more quickly to put distance between himself and Emma.

“If you were him, I’d be seriously rethinking my life choices,” Emma retorted, rolling her eyes.

Killian laughed. “I really don’t understand how the two of you work together all the time.”

“She loves me, don’t you Savior?”

“Would you stop with the ‘savior’ crap? I push you out of the way of a falling timber one fucking time and all of a sudden I’m your savior. I should have let it fall on you.”

“It could have done major damage to me head!”

“That hard head? I’m thinking it would have only improved it.”

Will grabbed Killian’s sleeve to halt him in his tracks. “Ya gonna let her talk to me like that, Jones?”

Killian shrugged. “What can I do? You set yourself up for it every bloody time.”

Emma giggled and turned to go into the kitchen, punching Will in the shoulder on the way by. “Shoulda known you’d take your woman’s side,” he groused, rubbing his shoulder as he followed her into the room.

“Aye, you really should have,” Killian grinned.

“About damn time you showed up, Jones,” Mulan Fa greeted him as soon as he walked in.

“You don’t clock out for another ten minutes, so shut it,” he grumbled. “Busy night?”

“Only two runs, nothing major,” she answered. “Car accident and a drunk who fell and knocked himself unconscious.”

“Sounds delightful,” Killian mused, selecting a donut from the open box on the counter.

Emma reached around him and grabbed it out of his hand. “You already had a bagel this morning, buddy.”

“Aye, but if you recall, we worked off enough calories in the past twelve hours to allow me to indulge a little,” he said, attempting to take it back.

“In that case…” she grinned, taking a huge bite before he finally managed to wrestle it away from her.

“Please do not tell us how you worked those calories off,” Regina Mills, Killian’s paramedic partner growled, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Ew, yuck!” Emma grimaced. “Seriously, how can you like jelly filled? They’re disgusting!”

“Serves you right for trying to eat my donut,” Killian replied, around a mouthful of the gooey confection.

“Good morning, everyone,” David Nolan greeted, strolling into the kitchen. The fire chief was Emma’s brother through adoption and one of Killian’s best friends. After being acknowledged by the assembled firefighters and paramedics, he announced, “I want to remind you that we have a group of third graders coming to tour the firehouse this afternoon at one o’clock, so we need to spend the rest of the morning making sure everything is in tip-top shape.”

“Are they third graders or a bloody group of inspectors?” Will groused.

“Just for that, you can be in charge of rolling hoses today, Scarlet,” David said.

Will dropped his head back and groaned. “I hate that fucking job.”

“That’s what you get for complaining all the time,” Emma commented with a laugh.

The crew going off-duty bid everyone goodbye, while those starting their shift finished their coffee and donuts. Then they left the kitchen to start checking supplies and equipment, and cleaning the vehicles.

*********

“What a boring shift,” Emma sighed, dropping down onto the couch when they got home the next day.

“Boring is good, Swan,” Killian said, opening the refrigerator to check the contents. “We should go to the grocery this afternoon. This is looking pretty bare.”

“I’m sleeping first,” she mumbled grumpily.

“Of course. Do you think I’m insane enough to ask you to go grocery shopping without sleep?”

“You’ve been known to try.”

“Once, and that was enough to learn my lesson. I was afraid I was going to have to bail you out of jail.”

“Wasn’t my fault. People who block the aisles shouldn’t be allowed in grocery stores.”

He closed the refrigerator and joined her on the couch, lifting her feet into his lap. “Dave told me Mary Margaret invited us over for dinner tomorrow night,” he said, beginning to rub her arches.

“Yeah, he told me, too,” she replied, laying her head back against the armrest and closing her eyes. “One less night to cook is always good.”

“As if you do the cooking,” he scoffed.

“You’re glad I don’t cook.”

“That’s because you set the smoke detector off twice the first week we lived together. It wouldn’t look very good for the fire department to have to put out a kitchen fire in the apartment of one of their own.”

“The stupid thing is too fucking sensitive,” she grumbled. “Ugh, that feels so good. You have magic fingers, Babe.”

“So you’ve told me,” he grinned. “Although most of the time, it’s not because I’m using them on your feet.”

“Mmm, very true.” She yawned widely. “Are you gonna get some sleep with me?”

“I’m not very tired. I think I’m going to finish reading that book I borrowed from Dave.”

Dropping her feet to the floor, she pushed herself up to sit beside him. “Suit yourself, but if you change your mind, feel free to join me.” She stood up and stretched her arms above her head, hearing a satisfying crack from her spine.

“Would you please bring me the book from the nightstand, Love?”

“For a price,” she teased, turning to walk into the bedroom.

“I just gave you a foot rub, you know,” he called after her. “Besides, you still owe me from our bet yesterday morning.”

Re-entering the room with the book, she handed it to him and bent down to kiss him. “I told you it wasn’t an official bet, but if you insist, I’ll pay you back after I take a nap.”

“How?” he questioned.

“For once, I agree with Scarlet’s idea,” she said with a wink, then headed back to the bedroom, adding a little extra sway to her hips.

“Bloody woman is going to be the death of me,” Killian mumbled. Her answering laugh let him know she heard his remark.

*********

The next week when they were both on duty again, a call came through in the middle of the night for an injury at a warehouse close to the docks. Killian drove the ambulance, as Regina took down the information while riding in the passenger seat.

A man met them outside the building to direct them inside. He explained that two employees got into an argument, resulting in one of them injuring the other, knocking him unconscious.

As they moved through the cavernous warehouse, Killian smelled smoke. “Is there a fire somewhere?” he asked the man.

“I don’t think so…” he began, then his eyes grew wide as he spotted something. “Holy shit! He wasn’t kidding!”

“What are you talking about?” Regina asked.

“Before Jefferson tore out of here, he said he was gonna burn the place down. Looks like he started a fire,” he explained, pointing to a spot where they could now see an orange glow.

“Where’s the injured man?” Killian asked.

“In the office right there,” the employee answered, pointing just to the left of the fire.

They hurried to the area, realizing there was more than one small fire burning. Regina immediately used the radio to call for the fire department.

Stepping into the small, windowless office, they saw the injured man lying prone on the concrete floor, a large gash to his forehead. “Jefferson bashed Leroy’s head into the wall,” the man explained. “Always did think that guy was mad as a hatter.”

Killian knelt down and opened the medical kit. “Is there anyone else in the warehouse?”

“Just a few guys outside on the docks. There were just the three of us inside.”

“Okay, we’ll take care of Leroy. You need to get yourself out of here.” The man nodded and quickly exited.

After Regina reported the fire, she went to grab the stretcher and brought it into the warehouse. “Let’s get him outside and then we can evaluate him,” Regina said.

“Good idea,” Killian agreed, shining his penlight into the man’s eyes to check his pupils. “Did you bring a neck brace?”

“No, I’ll go grab one,” she threw over her shoulder, on the way out the door.

She was gone for less than a minute when Killian heard a crash, followed by a whooshing sound. His head jerked up to look out the door and was astonished to see the fire was spreading rapidly. “Bloody bastard must have used an accelerant,” he cursed. Getting to his feet, he hurried to the doorway, his heart dropping to his feet when he saw the office was completely surrounded by flames.

“Regina!” he called through the walkie talkie. “Don’t try to come back in. The fire is spreading fast and we’re trapped!”

She acknowledged his statement and told him the ETA for the fire department was five more minutes.

“Fuck!” he growled, trying again to see a way through the flames, but the exit appeared to be blocked. He knew he couldn’t risk pushing the stretcher with the injured man through the fire, and he couldn’t leave him behind.

Slamming the door shut, he looked around the cramped office, searching for something to stuff under the door to help keep the smoke out. When he couldn’t locate anything, he took off his jacket to use it. Knowing there was nothing else he could do for the time being, he knelt down beside Leroy to begin working on him again.

*********

Emma was in the jump seat behind David when the call came through the radio, saying the injured man and a paramedic were trapped by the fire inside the warehouse.

“Which paramedic?” she shouted, trying to make herself heard over the sirens.

David looked back at her over his shoulder, his forehead creased with concern. “Regina is the one who reported it, so I’m assuming it’s Killian.”

Emma felt like she was going to throw up.

*********

By the time the fire trucks made it to the warehouse, flames were shooting through the roof. Wooden pallets stacked outside were smoldering, and thick, black smoke was pouring out through the large overhead doors.

The trucks came to a stop and the firefighters flew into action, donning their oxygen tanks and masks, hooking up hoses, and raising the ladder to get water down on the fire from above.

Emma worked at a frenzied pace with her heart in her throat. As she waited for Will to hook up the hose the two of them would be manning, she approached David, who was speaking with Regina.

“Have you been in contact with Killian?” she asked.

Regina turned to her. “Yes, he’s been on the walkie. He and the injured man are in a small office about fifty yards from the doors, on the left-hand side.”

“Are there outside windows to it?” David asked.

Regina shook her head. “No windows at all. It’s concrete block with a metal door.”

Will came running up with the hose and Emma started to leave to help him, when she felt the sleeve of her coat being grabbed. She looked back to see David eyeing her earnestly. “Use your head and not your heart in there, Emma. Don’t get reckless.”

She swallowed hard and nodded, then pulled her mask into place and picked up the hose.

*********

Despite his best efforts, the smoke was beginning to fill the room where Killian lay on the floor beside the still unconscious Leroy. Regina had reported the fire trucks were there, so he knew help was on the way, but his eyes were burning and he was coughing uncontrollably. He had put the oxygen mask from the medical kit on the injured man, and every once in a while, would take a couple of deep breaths from it.

He determined that Leroy’s injuries didn’t appear to be life threatening, but they weren’t the biggest threat to his well-being right now. Killian knew if the firefighters didn’t get to them soon, they were in danger of becoming asphyxiated from inhaling the smoke.

*********

Emma stood behind Will, helping direct the spray of the water onto the raging flames in front of them. Her eyes strained to see through the smoke, hoping to locate the office Regina had described.

It seemed like hours until they were twenty yards into the building, the sweeping spray of water taming the fire enough to make a little progress. She could see another pair of firefighters to their right and a stream of water coming from above. The entire team was working hard to knock down the flames, but it wasn’t happening fast enough to suit her. Every minute spent fighting the fire was another minute Killian was trapped.

Finally, she could make out a metal door about ten yards ahead of them. “Over there!” she shouted at Will, pointing over his shoulder. He immediately directed the hose where she indicated.

“Hold on, Killian. I’m coming,” she thought.

*********

Killian tried desperately to remain conscious, but he felt like he was fighting a losing battle. Despite laying flat on the floor to stay under the smoke, the entire room was almost filled with it.

“Please get to us in time, Swan,” he begged.

*********

When they reached the door, they hosed it down thoroughly, then Emma rushed forward to open it. As soon as she did, she fell to her knees beside Killian with a strangled cry. She shook him by the shoulders, shouting his name. His eyes fluttered open and she saw him trying to speak over the noise of the fire. Leaning down, she put her ear as close to him as possible and heard him say, “I love you, Emma. I need you to know that.” Then he began coughing deeply.

She took off her oxygen mask and put it over his face, shouting, “Don’t talk like you’re not getting out of here!” Fumbling for her walkie-talkie, she reported, “I found them! The injured man is unconscious. Killian is conscious, but barely. We need to get them out of here!”

As Will continued to spray the flames to keep them at bay, Emma stood and grasped Killian under his arms, beginning to drag him out of the stifling office. She felt someone come up beside her and looked around to see David in full gear. As the fire chief, he usually stayed on the outside to direct operations, only suiting up when it was absolutely necessary, or maybe, Emma thought, when his best friend’s life was on the line.

He started to take Killian’s arm, but she shouted, “I’ve got him! Go get the stretcher with the other guy on it!”

David hesitated for just a second, before nodding curtly and running toward the office.

Emma continued moving backwards, adrenaline propelling her at a faster pace than normal. Looking over her shoulder, she could just make out the outline of the large overhead door, when she heard a loud creaking sound and looked up to see a metal girder breaking away from the catwalk directly above.

She flung herself over Killian’s body to protect him. Seconds later, she felt an excruciating pain and let out a scream. Looking back, she saw the end of the beam across her left ankle. “Fuck it all to hell!” she cursed, attempting to pull her leg free. Suddenly, she felt the pressure decrease, and looked up to see Will lifting the girder off of her.

“I’ve got you, Savior,” he shouted.

“Take Killian!” she directed, as she grabbed her mask to put it back on. “I’ll get myself out.”

Will moved around her to pick up Killian, hoisting him over his shoulder. Emma tried to push herself to her feet, but found she couldn’t put any weight on her leg. Cursing, she looked around and saw a push broom leaning against the wall. Hopping over to it, she used it as a makeshift crutch, hobbling toward the doorway.

When she was finally outside, she saw Regina working on Killian and limped over to them. Flinging off her helmet and mask, she dropped down beside him. “How is he?”

“Alive,” Regina said curtly. “We need to transport him immediately. Another ambulance just arrived and they’ll take Leroy.” She glanced up at Emma. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Might have broken my ankle, but it doesn’t matter, as long as Killian is okay.”

“They’ll check you out at the hospital. You can ride in the back with us. Mulan got called in and she’ll drive.”

Emma bent down to place a kiss on Killian’s forehead. “Hang on, Babe. Please don’t leave me,” she pleaded, her voice breaking.

*********

Killian remained semi-conscious on the ride to the hospital, coughing frequently. Emma allowed Regina to examine her ankle when she was sure the paramedic had done everything she could for Killian. Regina also suspected it was broken and informed the hospital that X-rays would be necessary upon arrival.

Emma sat next to Killian the entire way, brushing his sooty hair out of his eyes. “I keep telling him he needs a haircut, but he hasn’t done it yet,” she murmured, fighting back tears. Regina looked over at her, but didn’t comment, simply patting her knee in sympathy.

“Five minutes,” Mulan called to them from the front seat, sending Regina into action to prepare for their arrival at the hospital.

“I know you’ll want to stay with him,” she told Emma, “but they will have to take him for a battery of tests, so you might as well get that ankle taken care of while you’re waiting.”

Emma gave a slight nod and leaned over Killian. “You know I would stay with you if I could, but as soon as they take care of me, I’ll be with you again. Then I won’t leave your side. I promise.” She pressed a kiss to his temple, above the elastic band holding the oxygen mask in place.

As soon as she straightened up, he had a fit of deep, wracking coughs. She squeezed his hand helplessly, listening to his labored breathing when the coughing finally subsided. Not taking her eyes from him, she asked Regina, “He is going to be okay, isn’t he?”

“You know as well as I do that smoke inhalation is very serious, and people react to it differently,” she answered carefully. “All I can say is, he’s young, healthy and strong, which are important factors for recovery.”

Emma eyed her gratefully. Regina had been Killian’s partner for nearly three years and, even though they constantly made snarky comments to one another, the two of them worked well together. Emma could see the concern in Regina’s face and realized his injuries were affecting her, too.

“Yeah, that’s true. He’ll be okay.” Emma looked back down at him, his skin pale under the layer of soot. “He has to be.”

*********

When they pulled up to the Emergency Room, Killian was quickly unloaded and whisked off to be examined. An orderly helped Emma into a wheelchair and she was taken to Radiology for X-rays.

An hour later, with her broken ankle set and in a cast, she was taken to an area to wait for news about Killian. As soon as she entered the room, Mary Margaret stood up to greet her.

“Oh, Emma, are you alright?” she asked, her voice full of concern.

Emma received her sister-in-law’s hug with a sense of relief, having dreaded waiting by herself. “Mostly. I found out that steel is harder than bone. Did David call you?”

“He sent me a quick text to meet you here. They’re still fighting the fire.”

“They’ll probably be there for a while. We heard on the scanner that it’s now a four alarm fire.”

Mary Margaret parked Emma’s wheelchair between the doorway and a row of cushioned chairs, sitting down in the one closest to her and reaching over to take her hand. “How is Killian?” she asked quietly.

“He…” Emma started, but her throat constricted and she wasn’t able to go on.

Mary Margaret wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulders, pulling her against her side. “It’s going to be okay, I just know it is. That man loves you and he’s going to fight to stay with you.”

“I h-hope so,” Emma sobbed. “But what if…if he…”

“Stop that, right now,” Mary Margaret interrupted firmly. “We’re going to think positive thoughts. Anything negative isn’t going to help him.”

They fell silent for a few moments, before Mary Margaret began telling stories about her pre-school students, obviously trying to distract Emma from slipping too deeply into worry for her boyfriend.

Emma tried to pay attention, but her mind kept straying to what might be happening to Killian. She stared at the door, silently willing someone with news to walk through it, occasionally glancing at the clock on the wall, which seemed to be standing still. She wished she could pace the floor to work off some of her nervous energy, but the cast on her leg reminded her it wasn’t an option.

Mary Margaret offered to locate some bottles of water, leaving the room with the assurance she would return soon. Emma idly pushed the wheels on the chair back and forth, bumping it into the wall over and over.

She didn’t often pray out loud, but in her jumbled mind, she thought maybe God would hear her better if she did. “Dear Lord, please, I’m begging You, please let Killian be okay. I need him, God. Please don’t take him from me.”

She no sooner said ‘Amen’ when a doctor with a shock of bleach blonde hair entered the room. “Ms. Swan?” he inquired.

“Yeah, that’s me,” she replied, sitting up straighter in the chair.

“I’m Dr. Whale. I was told you were waiting for word about Killian Jones. Are you family?” he asked, as Mary Margaret returned with a small bottle of water in each hand. She immediately sat down, dropping one of the bottles into her lap so she could take Emma’s hand.

“He’s my boyfriend. We live together, and he doesn’t have any other family,” Emma explained. “How is he?”

Dr. Whale pulled a chair over and sat down facing her. “He inhaled a lot of smoke. We’ve got him on oxygen and we’re going to observe him for the rest of the night. If he continues to cough and sound raspy like he does now, we may have to do a bronchoscopy later today, to determine how much damage has been done to his lungs, and to suction out some of the junk he has in there. He’s sleeping now, which is good. His body is working hard to heal and a lot of rest is going to help that process.”

Swallowing hard past the lump in her throat, Emma managed to ask, “When can I see him?”

“You can visit him right now, for a little while,” Dr. Whale began.

“No,” Emma stated emphatically. “I’m not visiting him for a little while. I’m going to stay.”

“Ms. Swan…”

“I don’t care what you say, I WILL stay with him, and nothing or no one can stop me!”

“Calm down, Ms. Swan,” Whale soothed, holding a hand up placatingly. “I wasn’t going to say that you have to leave. I was going to tell you that I’ll have him put in a room with a recliner, so you can sleep in there.”

“Oh,” Emma said, a bit sheepishly. “That would be great, thank you.”

“Anything for our first responders.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Mary Margaret asked, looking at Dr. Whale for permission, which he gave with a slight nod.

“If you don’t mind,” Emma answered.

“Of course I don’t,” Mary Margaret said, standing up and nudging the wheelchair away from the wall so she could get behind it.

“It will be a few more minutes until they get him moved into a room on the third floor,” Whale said, also standing. “Someone will be down to get you when they’re done.”

“Thank you and I’m, uh, sorry about…”

“Think nothing of it. I understand the stressfulness of the situation and wouldn’t expect you to respond any differently.”

After shaking both of their hands, Whale left the room. Emma blew out a long, slow breath, trying to keep her emotions under control. “I was hoping he would be awake so I could talk to him.”

“You heard what the doctor said,” Mary Margaret responded, patting Emma’s shoulder reassuringly. “His body is just trying to heal itself.”

“Sometimes people don’t recover from smoke inhalation,” Emma whimpered.

“Killian will,” Mary Margaret said firmly. “You have to believe that, Emma. You have to have faith and stay hopeful.”

“I know. I’m trying. I just need to see him.”

Mary Margaret handed her one of the bottles of water. “Drink this. Oh, and I bought this for you. too,” she said, reaching into the pocket of her cardigan sweater and pulling out a package of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. “Chocolate and peanut butter makes everything better.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but accepted the candy appreciatively.

*********

Ten long minutes later, an orderly came to guide them to Killian’s room, which was right across the hall from the nurses station, giving Emma confidence that he would receive prompt attention. The orderly pushed the door open and held it so Mary Margaret could wheel Emma through it. Killian lay propped up in the bed, his dark hair in stark contrast to the white pillow. The heart monitor beeped softly and oxygen hissed.

Emma brought a hand to her mouth to catch the sob trying to escape. He was so pale and still, it nearly broke her heart. Her Killian was vibrant and energetic, always grinning and laughing. She had trouble reconciling the fact that this man in the bed with an IV dripping into his hand, was the man she loved. Even though their jobs could be dangerous, she never allowed herself to imagine such a scenario.

Mary Margaret pushed her to the side of the bed. “Talk to him, Emma. Even though he’s sleeping, his subconscious may still hear you.”

Emma took his hand between her own, stroking it lovingly. “Hi, Babe. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. The doctor says you need your sleep because your body is trying to heal, but I really need to see those gorgeous eyes I love so much, so hurry up and heal.”

Pulling his hand up, she pressed a kiss to the back, a tear dripping onto it, too. She glanced up at Mary Margaret, who offered her a small smile.

“We all want you to get better very soon, Killian,” she said. “We love you.”

They sat quietly beside his bed for almost twenty minutes, before Emma said, “You don’t have to stay, Mary Margaret. I’m going to try to get some sleep. I think everything is beginning to catch up with me.”

“Okay. I’ll send you a message when I hear from David. I’m sure he’ll want to stop in when his shift is over to check on both of you. Do you want me to help you get changed before I leave?” She brought over the set of scrubs one of the nurses provided for Emma.

“Thanks, but I think I’m going to have to learn to manage by myself. At least until Killian…” Her voice cut off as she looked over at the still form of her boyfriend.

“I know,” Mary Margaret said, “but you’re thoroughly exhausted right now. Why don’t you let me help so you can get to sleep sooner?”

Emma sighed. “Okay, I would actually appreciate that.”

*********

Even though she was completely drained, Emma found it almost impossible to sleep. Nurses came in frequently to take Killian’s vital signs, her ankle throbbed, and it was difficult to get comfortable because of the cast. Most of all, she couldn’t keep from worrying about Killian, wondering how long it would take him to recover, and trying not to let her mind wander to the possibility that he wouldn’t.

Finally giving up on sleep, she slipped from the recliner and stood at his bedside. Bending over him, she pressed kisses to his forehead, eyelids and temple, then whispered in his ear, “I love you, Killian. Please at least let me know you can hear me. Squeeze my hand, or open your eyes - anything.”

She waited expectantly, the seconds ticking by slowly as he remained completely still. Pulling a chair closer, she sat down and rested her head on the bed beside his right hand. “You have to get through this,” she said in a broken voice. “You promised you would never leave me.”

Minutes later, she gave into her exhaustion and fell asleep.

*********

Emma awoke with a start when Dr. Whale arrived mid-morning to examine Killian. “I’m sorry, Ms. Swan. I didn’t mean to startle you. How are you feeling?”

She didn’t answer him for several moments, too busy looking intently at Killian to see if he had woken up yet. He remained still, though she had heard him cough periodically throughout the night.

“I’ll be fine when I know Killian is fine,” she finally answered.

“Well, let’s see how he’s doing then,” Whale said, stepping up to the other side of the bed to check the monitor for the data the nurses entered over the last several hours. “His vitals look good and it says his cough is productive.” He listened to Killian’s lungs and heart, and checked the reaction of his pupils. “His breathing doesn’t sound quite as raspy, so we’ll hold off on the bronchoscopy for now.”

“When is he going to wake up?” Emma asked.

“Should be any time,” Whale assured her. “When a body has been through trauma, sometimes sleep is the way to give itself a break, until it’s a little stronger.”

“Would you say he’s out of the woods?”

Whale gripped the ends of his stethoscope and rocked back on his heels. “As a firefighter, you’re well aware of the hazards of smoke inhalation. It can lead to pneumonia and other problems with the lungs or heart. We’ll continue to monitor him and test his blood, but right now, we just have to wait and see.”

Emma inhaled sharply. She wasn’t surprised by the answer, but she had been hoping to hear him say he was certain Killian would be alright.

Whale walked over to pat her on the shoulder. “Try not to think the worst. He’s young and in good shape. Those are factors in his favor.”

He left the room and Emma slumped down in the chair. As much as she wanted to hold onto the doctor’s positivity, it was difficult to keep the what ifs from creeping into her thoughts.

She took Killian’s hand into hers, and was tracing the back of it with her thumb, when she felt a slight squeeze. Her eyes shot up to look at his face, but his eyes were still closed. “Do it again, Killian,” she whispered, and was rewarded with a harder squeeze.

Tears blurred her vision and she used her free hand to wipe them away, just in time to see his eyelids flutter open. Pushing herself up to balance on her good foot, she leaned over him. “Hey, Babe,” she said, her voice choked with emotion.

“Hey, beautiful,” he whispered hoarsely.

She could barely hear the words over the hiss of the oxygen and through the mask, but they were music to her ears. Pressing kisses to the areas of his face not covered by the oxygen mask, she couldn’t stop her tears. Pulling back a little, she commanded, “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

“So demanding,” he said, grinning slightly.

“And you love me for it,” she giggled.

“I do.” He was unable to say anything else because he began coughing. When it ceased, he brought his left hand up to rub at his chest.

“Are you in any pain?” Emma asked, concern etched in her face.

He shook his head, but she could tell by the sound of his voice his throat was raw. She was sure his chest probably hurt, considering the smoke he breathed in and all the coughing he’d done.

Without thinking, she put some weight on her left foot and grimaced with the sharp pain that shot through it. Killian noticed, his brows furrowing. “You hurt?” he whispered.

She sighed, aggravated at herself for causing him to worry. “Just a broken ankle. Nothing too major.” Her fingers smoothed across the creases in his forehead. “It’s really a good thing, because now we can recover together.”

He started coughing again, gasping for air between each bout. Emma stood by, wondering what she could do to help. A nurse entered the room, approaching the bed quickly. Emma noticed her name badge identified her as Ariel.

When his coughing subsided, he opened his watery eyes. “Ah, looks like someone decided to wake up,” Ariel commented. “Would you like a few sips of water, Mr. Jones?”

He nodded, appreciation in his eyes. The nurse left the room, returning soon with a pitcher and plastic cup. She filled the cup half full of water and added a straw.

“May I help?” Emma asked.

Without hesitating, Ariel handed the cup to her and lifted the oxygen mask. Emma held the straw to Killian’s mouth and he took it between his lips eagerly. “Slowly,” the nurse reminded him.

After taking several small sips, he released the straw. “Thanks,” he rasped.

“Feel better?” Emma asked, setting the cup on the tray table.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, then tried to clear his throat, but ended up coughing again.

Ariel did a quick check of his vital signs and entered them into the computer. “It’s going to take some time to clear everything out of your lungs and throat,” she said. “Coughing is actually a good thing to help get it all out.”

“It’s wearing you out though, isn’t it, Babe?” Emma asked him, receiving a nod of confirmation.

“Better get some rest in between your coughing spells, then,” Ariel instructed. “Do you need anything else?” When he shook his head, she added, “Alright then, just push the call button if you need me.”

She left the room, letting the door close behind her. Emma sat back down in the chair, keeping her eyes on her boyfriend as if she was afraid he would disappear. His eyes were closed again, his dark lashes in contrast to his pale skin.

She laid her head on the bed against his hip and felt his hand move to rest against the top of it, his fingers tangling in her hair. “I love you so much, Killian, and I need you. Don’t leave me, okay?”

“I won’t,” he croaked. Very soon, they were both asleep.

*********

Killian remained hospitalized for another three days and Emma barely left his side. David, Will and Regina stopped in to visit, as did Mary Margaret, who tried to convince Emma to go home and get some sleep. She refused, stating it was too much trouble getting around with her leg in a cast. What she didn’t admit to her sister-in-law was her fear that if she left Killian, something bad would happen to him while she was gone.

She was still fearful that he could die, despite Dr. Whale telling her he was steadily improving. Every time she managed to drift off to sleep, she would suddenly jerk awake, heart racing. She could only relax once she determined he was still breathing.

He was discharged with a tank of supplemental oxygen and a list of care instructions. By that time, Emma was getting around fairly well on her crutches and insisted she could take care of him by herself. David drove them home, where Mary Margaret was waiting with a casserole. The married couple departed once they helped Emma and Killian into their apartment and made sure they had everything they needed.

They spent the rest of the day sitting on opposite ends of the couch, binge watching a show on Netflix. Whenever Killian tried to start a conversation, Emma would answer him curtly, then turn her full attention back to the television.

When they went to bed, he expected her to snuggle up against him like she always did, but she stayed on her side with enough distance between them to fit another person. He turned onto his side and encouraged her to move closer, but she explained that her ankle was hurting and she didn’t want to accidentally hit him with her cast.

This went on for two days, and by the morning of the third day, he’d had enough.

After breakfast, Killian dropped down onto the couch and tugged Emma down beside him. He nuzzled into her neck, leaving small kisses there.

“None of that, now,” she said flatly. “You’re still recovering.”

“I think I remember the doctor saying sex will help with that,” he murmured, his voice still rough and scratchy.

She lightly elbowed him, trying not to smile. “Nice try. When you can make it through a whole night without coughing, then we’ll talk about it.”

“Talking isn’t what I had in mind.”

“Have you forgotten I also have a damn cast on my leg?”

“We’ll just have to get creative,” he smirked. “We might find a position we haven’t…” His words were cut off by a bout of coughing.

“See?” she said, once it subsided. “You’re proving my point.”

He flopped back onto the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes dramatically. “You’re killing me, Swan.”

When Emma didn’t respond, he uncovered his eyes to look at her. She was turned away from him, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

“Are you okay, Love?” he asked, gently pulling on her shoulder to turn her toward him.

Her eyes were red-rimmed and her face was pale. “Don’t even joke about being k-killed,” she muttered. “It’s not funny, especially when I almost lost you.”

He pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking when I said that.”

After just a few seconds, she pushed herself away from him and picked up her crutches. “I should, um, I need to…”

“Hey,” he interrupted, grabbing her hand to keep her from standing up. “Don’t brush this off. Talk to me.”

She swallowed hard, not looking at him. He patiently waited, figuring she needed time to process what was on her mind. Finally, she cleared her throat. “You promised you would never leave me.”

“And I won’t.”

“But you almost did. When I saw you laying in that office, barely conscious, I realized I could be alone again. I…you know how hard it was for me to let you into my heart. If something happens to you, it’s going to shatter into a million pieces.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me.”

Her eyes shot up to look at him. “You don’t know that for a fact.”

“No, but you could walk out the door tomorrow and get hit by a bus.” She rolled her eyes and started to speak. “All I’m saying,” he cut in quickly, “is that we don’t know what the future holds, but we can’t live our lives in fear of losing each other. It’s a risk to love someone, but it’s worth it. At least, I think it is.” He paused to cough and take a drink of water. “If it’s a choice between loving you or playing it safe, I’ll choose loving you every day of the week and twice on Sunday.”

She didn’t respond, but he could tell she was thinking by the way she kept dragging her teeth over her bottom lip. “Emma,” he asked quietly, taking her other hand, “is our love worth the risk for you?” He hardly dared to breathe, afraid of her answer. Before the fire, he was sure of her love for him and her commitment to their relationship. Now, he questioned whether she would truly be able to move past her fear of being abandoned yet again.

“Yeah,” she whispered, keeping her eyes on their intertwined fingers. “I know you would never leave me willingly, and I don’t…I don’t want to do that to you. Just,” she raised her eyes to meet his, “promise you’ll be careful.”

He enveloped her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. “You have my word. I love you and will do everything in my power to stay with you. Will you do the same?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I love you, too.”

“I’ve missed having you in my arms,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting,” she apologized.

“Shh, it’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been pulling away when you needed me the most. I’ve been a terrible girlfriend.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Love,” he soothed. “You were dealing with a lot.”

“That’s no excuse. I’m supposed to be with you in sickness and in health.”

He chuckled into her hair. “Those are wedding vows. We didn’t get married while I was asleep, did we?”

She sat up and looked at him. “Would that be so bad?”

The look on her face was one of uncertainty, even though he had been teasing. “What? Being married?” he asked, his brow lifting high on his forehead.

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve never really talked about it seriously. Is that…do you ever see that for us?”

He shifted in his seat so he could look directly into her eyes, wanting to prove his sincerity. “Emma, I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of my life, so of course I see us getting married someday,” he said, kissing her forehead. “But since I’m not prepared to propose tonight, perhaps we can find another way to express our commitment to each other.”

He leaned forward to kiss her, but she stopped him with a hand to his chest. “The doctor said you were supposed to take it easy.”

“He also said I could resume normal activities as long as they weren’t too strenuous.”

She arched a brow at him. “And you don’t think having sex is strenuous?”

“Not if I let you do all the work,” he grinned.

“Have you forgotten I have a broken bone? That’s gonna make it even more challenging.”

“You know I love a challenge.” When she continued to glower at him, he added, “Emma, I’m fine. Dr. Whale said I could have a cough for several weeks. Do you really want to wait that long to make love again?” He tried, and failed, to stifle another cough.

She hesitated and he nuzzled his nose behind her ear. “I miss you, Love. I promise I’ll take it slow and if I feel any discomfort, I’ll stop.”

“So there’s a possibility you’ll get me all worked up, then leave me unfulfilled?”

“Oh, I would never leave you unfulfilled, my love,” he murmured into her ear. “Have you forgotten that I know plenty of ways to pleasure you?”

He could feel her shiver at the combination of his words and his tongue tracing the shell of her ear, and knew she was about to give in.

Turning her head, her mouth found his. “Fine,” she mumbled, between kisses. “You win.”

“I think you’ll find we will both win,” he grinned.

She laughed as he pushed himself up from the sofa, then reached down to pull her up beside him. “I need my crutches,” she said.

“Not when I’m around.” Killian wrapped his arm firmly around her waist and began moving toward the bedroom, Emma hopping along beside him.

They quickly divested of their clothes and slipped into bed, their hands already beginning to roam over bare skin before they even laid down. It had been less than a week since they were intimate, but it seemed much longer with all that had happened.

Soon, Emma was on her back, writhing with desire, while Killian hovered over her, sucking small marks into her breasts and rutting against her wet heat. “Are you ready, Love?” he asked.

Her glazed eyes tried to focus on him. “Yeah. Are you alright?”

He slowly pushed his cock inside her, before asking, “Does it feel like I’m alright?”

“Fuck, yes,” she moaned.

He chuckled as he leaned down onto his elbows, licking and kissing the sensitive areas on her throat. Her right leg hitched up over his hip and he heard her huff of annoyance that she couldn’t do the same with her left.

“Move, Killian,” she groaned. He obliged, repeatedly pulling back, then pushing in a little deeper each time, adding a grind of his pelvis against hers. He could tell that he wasn’t at full strength and wanted to bring her to climax as soon as possible, even though he hated for it to end too quickly.

Moving his hand down between them, he found her clit and began rubbing small circles over it. Her leg tightened over his back, as her walls tightened around his cock. He doubled his efforts and got the desired response almost immediately.

She cried out his name as she came, her body jerking against his. He thrust into her a few more times, then joined her in bliss. Collapsing on top of her, he coughed deeply a few times. She started to try to wriggle out from under him, but he wrapped his arms around her to keep her in place.

“I’m fine, Love,” he assured her, his voice raspy and his breathing heavy. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I can’t help it,” she replied. “I told you that you shouldn’t overdo it.”

He kissed her cheek. “I didn’t, I promise.” Feeling her body relax a bit, he laid his head on her shoulder, relishing having her nude form pressed against him. “I love you so much, Emma.”

“I love you, too, and I always will.”

Raking his fingers through her hair, he said, “We have a lifetime together, Emma. I have no doubt we’re going to grow old and gray with each other.”

“Well, I may grow old, but my beautician will make sure that my hair doesn’t turn gray.”

He laughed. “I hope you don’t mind if I do. I don’t intend to prevent it from happening.”

She played with the long strands of hair at the nape of his neck. “I think you’ll make a very sexy silver fox, Babe. I just hope I get to see you that way.”

Raising himself up to look at her, he said solemnly, “I told you, Love. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you.”

She framed his beloved face with her hands. “I’m going to hold you to that,” she said softly. Then she sealed that promise with a kiss.

*********

Both of them were granted two months off from their jobs to recuperate, and despite the circumstances, they savored all the time they had together. Killian had respiratory therapy twice a week and Emma worked out the best she could at the apartment’s fitness center nearly every day, not wanting to lose the muscle tone and strength necessary for her job.

One evening, almost two weeks after the accident, Killian was in the kitchen getting himself a bottle of water, while Emma scrolled through their watchlist on Hulu. “Can I bring you anything, Savior?” he called.

“Dammit, Jones!” she retorted. “You know I hate it when Scarlet calls me that. I don’t need you to start doing it, too!”

He peeked around the corner and smirked when he saw her glaring at him. “You did save my life, though. That makes you my savior.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she huffed, “You can call me Swan, Love, Emma, whatever, but please don’t call me Savior.”

“How would you feel about me calling you Mrs. Jones?” he asked, stepping fully into the living room to see her reaction.

Her eyes grew wide and darted from the televison to land on him. “Wh-what do you…are you…are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Aye, Love,” he answered softly, pulling a ring box from behind his back and kneeling in front of her. “I already call you my lover, my best friend and my life. Will you marry me so I can call you my wife?”

“I should say no since you just made a terrible rhyme.”

One of his brows shot up. “I did?”

“Yes,” she giggled, “but I don’t care. I’ll marry you anyway!”

“Truly?”

“Yes, truly. Now, let me see the ring.”

He grinned and flipped the lid open, revealing a square cut diamond with two small rubies set into the twisted, white gold band on either side of it.

Emma gasped, her hands flying to cover her mouth. “Oh, Killian! It’s…it’s too much!”

“Nothing is too much for the love of my life,” he responded, taking out the ring and putting the box aside. “May I?”

She nodded and held out her trembling hand, watching as he carefully slid it onto her fourth finger. “It’s perfect,” she whispered, her voice filled with awe. “How did you know what size to get?”

“Mary Margaret told me you wear a half-size smaller than her.”

“So David and Mary Margaret know you were planning to ask me?”

“I asked David for his blessing.”

“You’re so old-fashioned,” she laughed.

“Call me whatever you like, Swan, as long as you promise to call me your husband someday soon.”

Emma threw her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. “I can hardly wait to keep that promise,” she said, before kissing the man she could now call her fiancé.

*********

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#csff #never leave me #jrob64 #art by jrob64 #manips by sotangledupinit #new ending #reposting #cs smut #cs hurt/comfort #ouat captain swan fic #firefighter emma #EMT killian

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