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simsadventures · 3 years

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Gilded: Chapter 1: To Bride or Not to Bride

Mob! Steve x Reader

Summary: Your life is a mess and you need a little help from time to time. But, when somebody proposes a plan to rid you of all your problems all the way to the far future, you’re suddenly not so sure it is worth it. Especially since the plan is proposed to you by the most notorious gangster America has seen since Al Capone: Steve fucking Rogers.

Warnings: mafia AU, swearing (like, a lot this time), angst, struggles with money, loan-shark, sleazy men, harassing

Word Count: 7969

A/N: It’s finally here! It only took me around 6 months to bring it, and I apologise for the delay, but I hope I will make up for it with introductory this chapter :) Share your thoughts, let me know what you thought and what do you think will happen next :) xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

“Just, wait a second,” you said, your brows knitting together as you tried to piece together all the information the man in front of you had just given you. He was gorgeous, there was no question about that, but that wasn’t the issue here. There were many gorgeous people in New York, and you didn’t marry any of them. Yet, that was.

“You want to marry me. But you still haven’t told me why, so?” You asked for what felt like the hundredth time that evening, and the man just smirked again, playing with his cuffs, never answering to your satisfaction.

“I told you, honey, what I want, I get, and I decided that I wanted you, so, what is going to be? Are you gonna be a good girl for me or am I gonna have to force you, hm?” He smiled sweetly, but even you knew better. Behind that oh-very-sweet smile, there was venom and a ton of it. You rubbed your temples and plopped down on the nice-looking couch, thinking about what he was proposing.

2 weeks ago

“Coming!” You yelled through the loud music at the guests seated by the table number 5 where a group of guys was seated, hollering at you every two seconds as if you didn’t hear them the first time. You rolled your eyes at your colleague, who just laughed under her breath as you strode towards the clients. You put on your best fake smile as you approached them, and from the whistles, you assumed they appreciated it.

“Thank God you came, sweets. We thought you were getting tired of us,” the loudest of them laughed, and the group followed his suit, making your clench your jaw even more. Oh, how you hated this type of men, who had nothing better to do than calling a woman pet-names, making her feel uncomfortable just so his friends could have a laugh and a story to tell.

“What can I get you, gentleman? Another round of the same?” You asked as sweetly as you could, but it was getting harder by the second as they all eyed you like a piece of raw meat, ready to be devoured.

“I mean, that would be nice, and could you serve us a piece of that sweet ass of course as well? We’d really appreciate it, pretty face,” the loud guy smirked sleazily, and you fought the urge to vomit in your face. One of the guys made the mistake of actually making a move to swat you across your butt, but your reflexes were quicker.

You took a step back and breathed in, trying to calm your beating heart. This was, however, nothing new in your line of work, and you just learned to ignore it, or, at best, politely turn them down. Because, as you learned very early on, the manager didn’t appreciate if his “girls” were nasty to his customers. He almost made it sound like you were to provide your bodies with the beers, but you told him straightforwardly that that wouldn’t happen, and if his pub was one of these, you wanted to have nothing to do with it. All you were there to do was to work the evening and night shift to get some extra money on top of your regular job, and that was it. He even made a few remarks how he wanted you all to himself, but you politely declined every time and just tried to ignore it altogether.

“This ass is not for sale, I’m sorry, boys. But, the vodka shots are coming right up,” you tried to give them your best wink but didn’t wait long enough to see if they accepted their loss or not. You genuinely didn’t care.

The night continued in a similar manner, some people being inappropriate and you just ignoring their behaviour, and some people actually nice, even leaving you a few tips which always made you smile. You were beat when it was 11, and your shift ended, and you were thrilled today wasn’t one of those days when you had to stay there till 4 AM. It was then that people got really disgusting and you even had to resolve to hit a guy this one time because otherwise, you were pretty sure he’d manage to rape you. You sighed at the memory as you continued on your way home, just now remembering you left the tips meant for you in your locker.

Sighing you turned around and walked back towards the bar, and when you were in, you noticed three men in black suits talking to your coworker, who looked stunned and scared at the same time. You cocked a brow at her, and she discreetly shook her head, telling you that you shouldn’t come nearer.

This time, you really frowned and looked around, but the rest of the pub looked exactly the way you left it, even with the assholes by the fifth table. But you listened to her and took a step back to one of the dark corners, watching what was going on by the bar. It didn’t take long, definitely not longer than 5 minutes before the men turned around and left the building.

Your coworker looked positively alarmed by now, and you almost ran to her to ask what the fuck did just happen.

“I have no idea, Y/N. I noticed them by table 10 like an hour ago, but I didn’t pay them any attention because that was Christy’s sector tonight and I had the veranda. And when you left they just came here asking about you,” she breathed out, and it was your turn to look alarmed.

“The fuck? Why would they ask about me when it was Christy who took care of them?” You screeched, your brain not really comprehending the situation.

“I have no fucking idea, Y/N. But, like, they asked your name and stuff, and like, if you were a regular waitress here or what. I didn’t want to tell them anything, I swear, but they didn’t take no for an answer. So I just told them your first name, I wouldn’t budge on your last, I promise, and told them that you sometimes worked here but that I didn’t know when was your next shift,” she finished, a little scared of your reaction now, but from the look of those guys, you knew they were bad news and that Anja did the best she could.

“Nah, it’s ok, An. I would do the same. I’m really grateful that you didn’t give them my last name, though, that was really thoughtful of you,” you smiled at her, and it obviously put her at ease as she hugged and hurried back to the veranda, where you both saw a few guests waving that they needed a refill.

The hell did just happen, and why would three mysterious men ask about you?

It couldn’t be that they found out, right? No… you made sure all the traces were hidden, forever, so, that wasn’t an option.

No, you told yourself, there must be another reason for them to ask about you. But you didn’t want to find out. It was a one-time thing, these men were just confused, or one of them liked you or something like that, and you would never see them again. This actually calmed you down enough to start functioning again, and you remembered that you came for something specific, took the money and went straight home.

“This can’t be happening,” you muttered as you looked over your bills. There was so much to pay and so little money on your account that you actually started to sweat. You worked two jobs and still wasn’t able to afford to live a life where you didn’t have to worry about money. What was more, with the high taxes, your rent, subway card and food you went into red numbers, and that was something you definitely didn’t want. Nobody told you that as an Arts Major, you could still be struggling to stay alive in the city of New York.

You went over the bills again even though you knew your math was correct and that you didn’t have enough to pay your landlord this month.

Fuck, you muttered again and considered your options. You could ask your friends, but you didn’t want to bother them since you knew they were struggling as much as you were. You shared your apartment with two of your best friends who you considered a family by now, Caroline and Aidan. And while you knew they would do anything to help you, neither of their jobs paid enough to be able to help you as much as you needed this month.

Your other option was asking your landlord to give you some more time before more money arrived, but just imagining the conversation gave you goosebumps because you could picture the kind of service he’d want from you, and you’d literally rather go and beg on the street than to sleep with that middle-aged pig.

So, as you summarised it, the only option remained the loan shark. Tony was actually a nice guy, once you got to know him, and he was nice to you because you always paid precisely what he told you to when he told you to, and never asked too many questions or begged for more time. You were smarter than that, and, besides, you’ve seen too many movies with loan sharks to know what could happen to you.

The first time you went to him was probably 2 years ago, straight from university when you still thought you could make it big in New York. Well, safe to say that you didn’t make it, and while you remained hopeful, you had bigger problems than becoming a renown painter, like not starving to death and other fun stuff like that.

You were awfully scared to go to Tony, he had a reputation of being kind of an ass, but people also said that, compared to the other guys in the business, he actually had the fairest demands, and as you had no other choice, you just went to him. And because life was a bitch, you ended up going there on more occasions. Tony was kind enough always to lend even small amounts of money because you really didn’t need 100K. No, you always need like 1 or 2 thousand, and while the other loan sharks turned people like you down, Tony didn’t, and he never wanted more than like 400$ as a return, which seemed quite fair as the other guys always wanted 100% or more.

Well, Tony, it was, as you sighed looking around your room, thinking how you even got where you were. But there was no time to waste pitying yourself, and so you shot Tony a quick message, as you always did, and to no surprise, he was very quick to respond that you should come by later that afternoon.

You were just getting ready when Aidan burst through your door. He stopped mid-step, looking at you confusedly because you didn’t tell him you were going somewhere.

“Got a date or what? You never go out on Saturday afternoon, not if you can help it,” he said sceptically, looking around the room as his eyes landed on the fumbled papers on your table, and the look of realisation hit him.

“You going to Tony again? Y/N, we told you, we can help you, babe! Let us help just this once, please?” He pleaded with you even though he knew it was useless.

“C’mon, babe, you know you and Caroline are not making much either, and you’re both glad to get by another month. Tony is like an old friend by now, really. I don’t mind it that much, and it’s definitely a better option than burying you two with me under this pile of shit,” you huffed as you finished applying mascara, but you didn’t even check yourself in the mirror, really not caring that much how you looked. You went to Manhattan just to meet Tony and would go straight back, quick mission, in and out.

“You need to find a better job, Y/N,” Aidan smirked at you, and you just laughed because you both knew it was pretty much impossible, especially since you loved your day job with the only issue that it paid like shit.

“You know this is my chance to be close to art and I really want it. I mean, it could happen that they promote me from being a receptionist to like, I dunno, being a secretary to one of the curators of the gallery, right?”

He just huffed and kissed the top of your head, striding towards the door. It was only then that you noticed he was dressed to go out as well.

“And where are you going, mister?” You asked with a mother-like tone, and he just laughed, turning around as if he was caught in the act.

“So, you remember John?” He asked, sitting on your bed, and you actually laughed out loud at him.

“Which one? I mean, there has been so many Johns and Peters that I swear to God I’m starting to think there are only men called John and Peter in the whole fucking New York. So, more info, babe, please,” you scooted to him and listened to which John it actually was he was meeting and was pretty excited about this. This was John the Ballet dancer, and he looked really nice, so far.

John the Fake Mobster was a lying bastard, John the Hairdresser wanted Aidan for just that one thing but would never admit it, and then you didn’t even have John-the for the guys because they were all just idiots who didn’t see your best friend for what he was: an amazing, although a little extra person with a very good heart, great sense of humour and amazing hair.

“Alright, well, you know the drill. Keep your phone on data so we can use Find your Friend if needed, keep your eyes open for anything sketchy going on, but, most importantly, enjoy yourself, babe. I’ll see you tonight,” you hugged him tightly and walked out of the apartment and into the busy streets.

If it were all up to you, you’d live in a secluded place, somewhere in the north probably, like outside Seattle, where you’d have a lovely little house, maybe by a river or by the ocean or something, where you’d have enough inspiration for your art and where you wouldn’t be annoyed by the little things, like the car horns blaring all the way to the night, people shouting underneath your bedroom’s window, and little things like that.

But life was not a factory for fulfilled wishes, and you had to endure another day trying to make it in New York. You thought about all of this as you walked down the street to where you knew you could find Tony. You weren’t happy that you had to go to him, again, but you also knew that you didn’t need to worry anymore. You would have the money for your landlord by the end of the week, and when the gallery paid you, you would pay Tony back. Again.

“If it isn’t my favourite girl!” You heard a familiar voice hollering from the shop, and you laughed lightly as you walked into the pawnshop Tony had set up in the lower Manhattan.

“Hello to you too, Tony. Today a yellow day, or what?” You greeted him as you looked at his outfit, which was just a canary yellow tracksuit and a matching hat. He looked like a character from a bad movie, but you knew better than to say anything like that.

“Yellow is very classy and trendy, thank you very much! Yesterday I wore this really nice green velvet tracksuit, and you should have seen some ladies walking by, they almost ate me with their eyes! I swear!” He added as he saw you stifling a laugh, but you just nodded in fake understanding, and both of you shared a relaxed laugh.

“So, what can I do for you today, sweetheart?” He drawled, and you shuffled on the spot, always feeling slightly uncomfortable when it came to this part.

“I need a thousand this week. Ton. I’ve been working my ass off, but the bills keep building up, and every time I think I’m out of it and I can live normally, there is always something holding me back,” you sighed, scratching your arms which was a nervous habit of yours that Tony grew quite fond of.

He was almost sorry for saying the next thing, but this was way above his pay grade, and while he really did take some liking to you, and he would always give you enough time to pay him off, he knew who he couldn’t piss off.

“Listen, Y/N, I have a proposal for you,” Tony started, and you frowned, not really knowing where this was going, but from the look on Tony’s face, you could tell it was nothing good.

“There is somebody who would like to get to know you, and he has a proposal for you that he believes you can’t refuse. I don’t know any specifics, I just know he is willing to pay you a lot of money, and I’m talking thousands and thousands, Y/N. He said that nothing sexual would be involved because I told him that if he was looking for a one night stand, you weren’t his girl, but he assured me that this wasn’t it. He would like to meet with you and tell you all the details if you let him. And before you say no, Y/N, think about it. All you gotta do now is to meet him and listen to him, and he is one of those guys who don’t take no for an answer,” Tony finished, and while you saw it pained him to give you the message, you were too stunned to care.

“What the hell are you talking about, Tony? Is this some kind of a sick joke? Like, did this guy tell you he wanted to talk to me specifically or just a girl desperate enough to come here?” You blurted, still not getting what he was about.

“He asked for you, sweetie. I don’t know how, but he knew you’d come and told me when you did to give you the message and give you his address. Which is here,” he said, handing you a piece of paper with an address and a date with the time written on it, “and he told me that if you came and agreed to his plan, you wouldn’t have to worry about money this week or any other week. It could be your chance, Y/N. Look, the guy is extremely powerful, so, please, just go and meet him, and you’ll see, ok?” He was scared, and it made you scoff out loud.

Great, so a loan shark was giving you a message to meet some mysterious, powerful asshole who wouldn’t take no for an answer and who probably stalked you as he knew you would be coming to Tony sooner or later. Just great, really.

“It seems I don’t really have a choice, do I? Sheesh, Tony, at least tell me who this guy is and like how scared I should be. You gotta give me something because I can’t just go to some random house and be totally ok with it. Nobody can’t expect me to do so,” you pointed out, and Tony nodded in understanding.

“Totally, yeah. I even asked if I should come with you, but I was told you should be alone. You should be alert, let’s put it that way. If I were you, I’d really think before I speak, because this guy doesn’t take anything lightly. And I think it would be best if you didn’t know his name, Y/N. Just… he doesn’t want to hurt you, all he wants to do is speak to you, so please, just do it,” Tony finished just as some customer came into the shop.

You waited patiently because the conversation was far from over, but you knew better than to start shit in front of some stranger. Tony was evidently scared shitless of the guy, and it only fuelled your already growing anxiety. Tony was determined not to share too much information with you, but you didn’t understand why. Why could you not at least know the guy’s name? Who could it be?

Your brain took a detour to a few nights ago back at the pub where you saw the men asking about you, and a cold sweat broke on your skin. It must have been connected, there was no doubt in your mind about that, and it filled you with so much dread you actually had to catch your right hand with your left to stop yourself from shaking violently.

The doorbell rang signalling the customer left, and your eyes gazed at Tony, who was already staring at you apologetically.

“And what about the money, Tony? It’s Saturday, and I need to pay my rent by Friday next week. Nice of the guy, whoever the fuck he is, that he wants to see me, but he won’t if I’m on a fucking street next weekend,” you seethed, and Tony was quick to walk around the counter behind which he was standing this whole time and walked closer to you.

“He wants to see you on Wednesday, Y/N, and he specifically told me not to lend you any money, that he would take care of it. Whatever the fuck it means.”

“The fuck? I don’t even know his fucking name, and he will stop me from getting money to survive? What the actual hell, Tony? You can’t be serious right now,” you cried out in utter desperation because none of this was supposed to happen. You were supposed to come, chat a little with the goatee man, get the money and walk back home, where you’d watch some stupid TV show and drink shitty wine.

But no, of all the people living in New York this shit must be happening to you. As you didn’t have enough on your fucking plate as was, some mysterious fucker had to be interested in you for whatever reason, and he wouldn’t let you live without talking to him first.

“Can’t you just call him and tell him that I want to have nothing to do with him?” You asked when you felt calm enough to talk again. You didn’t even know whether you were scared or desperate or angry, but at best, you were feeling a mix of all these and some more, that was for sure.

“No can do, sweetie, but I promise it will be alright, ok? You’re a strong one, I know that and whatever he wants from you, you can either give or can talk to him,” Tony smiled sweetly, and while you knew he was full of bullshit you let it slide because you just didn’t have it in you to fight with him when he was clearly just the messenger. Whoever wanted to speak to you, however, he would hear it from you because where were we that a guy just asks for a girl and the whole of New York delivers her to him on a silver platter?

Wednesday

“You gotta be kidding me, Y/N. Are you seriously considering going there? For all you know it might be some elaborate trap and somebody’s gonna jump you and kill you in some dark alley,” Caroline screeched at you as she saw you getting ready after you came home from work.

You had to ask for a night off from the pub since mister nobody wanted to meet you on your night of work. But you knew you couldn’t say no. Whoever it was, Tony was afraid of him, and Tony was a tough guy. And not that you wouldn’t be brave, but your bravery was mostly concentrated on being able to throw a spider out of the apartment or walk the corridor with the lights out, not really crossing some powerful guy who could do God-knows-what to you if you didn’t come.

“C’mon, guys. You know I gotta do it. And I honestly think if they wanted to kill me, they would have already done it,” you muttered, trying to pick something to wear, that wasn’t too revealing, but you also didn’t want to go wherever you were going in a pair of baggy sweatpants you were currently rocking.

“But like, what if they want to make a personal slave out of you, huh? Like, cuff you to a ceiling and serve them with your body, like a personal kind of slave, you know what I mean? You were not made to be strapped to a ceiling, babe,” Aidan panicked, and you actually had to laugh.

“Your imagination never ceases to astonish me, Aid. Or are you speaking from personal experience?” You smirked as both you and Caroline laughed out loud at Aidan’s expression of utter disgust.

“You two are disgusting, and I hate you, but that doesn’t change the fact you still don’t know where the fuck you’re going,” Aidan countered and you rolled your eyes at him.

“I’ll keep my data on so you can see me this whole time, and if I don’t call you by 9 PM you can send the cops there, deal?”

They both nodded in agreement, knowing this was the best they were getting. You were glad you had them in your life and that you had people caring enough to try and stop you from doing something stupid, but something in your told you that your life would be even worse if you didn’t go. At least this way you’d know the whole story, and you would be able to make an educated decision based on all the variables.

“A’ight, but if anything sketchy happens, you run, ok? We can figure out the money, but we can’t figure out shit if you’re not here with us,” Caroline reminded you, and you nodded solemnly.

God, you just hoped you weren’t making a mistake by listening to Tony. He even shot you a message in the afternoon, reminding you to go there because if you didn’t, it could end up badly for both of you. And it was actually one of the decisive arguments in the whole thing, surprisingly. You didn’t want anything happening to Tony, especially not because of you and your decisions, and so you just told yourself to suck it and prepared for the evening.

You really couldn’t afford the cab, so you had to leave super early to be at the given address at precisely 7 PM. You also grabbed the book you were currently reading, Kim Stanley Robinson’s New York 2140, so that the ride to Manhattan wouldn’t be as dull and dreadful. You could think of the utopian future he depicts rather than thinking of your journey to the lion’s den, and that was the most promising image you created in your head about the place where you were headed.

Not that you didn’t try to find the place on Google maps, but all the buildings on the address looked the same, and, actually, quite nice, so you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

Meanwhile, Tony texted you again since you didn’t reply to his previous text, and this time you took the time to craft a message telling him that yes, you were indeed headed to the manor and he didn’t need to worry about his own neck because you wouldn’t let others be hurt because of your incompetence or your cowardice.

You knew you were getting off on Chambers St station and you actually took the time to think how many people living in Tribeca had to take the subway. The answer was, very obviously, zero, as the majority of the people in the subway were either passing or were clothed in a way you knew they worked in either one of the restaurants there or as a help. And you felt like one of them, because you too didn’t live in the wealthiest village in New York, and you too were going there mainly for business. Well, at least you hope you did.

Checking every house number when you got to the street you were supposed to meet the mysterious guy at, you tried to find where exactly was the bat cave, and when you saw the number 112, you knew you found it.

Your breath came in ragged huffs as you tried to gather the last remnants of your bravery as you walked up the stairs and buzzed on the door. Your head was spinning lightly, and you actually had to lean against the wall beside you to regain your composure.

The door soon revealed a massive man dressed in a black turtleneck and a pair of black jeans, and you were actually quite surprised not to see him with sunglasses and an earpiece. If the situation weren’t so tense, you’d probably joke about it, but as it was, you just followed his lead as he beckoned you inside.

“Miss Y/L/N, I presume? I need to see your phone and your belongings, ma’am,” he stated, and you raised a brow at him.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a standard procedure, ma’am. Everybody here to see the boss needs to be checked, just in case,” he stated, leaving no room for discussion, and while you sighed exasperatedly, you still handed him your bag and made a point by fishing out the phone and shoving it in his outstretched hand. He took a quick look through your belongings, pushing it against what you assumed was some kind of a metal detector before he pulled out another device. This looked like a big phone, and he scanned your bag once again.

“What is that?” You asked, unable to stop your curiosity.

“Checking if you’re not bugged,” he answered matter-of-factly as he continued before he put the device down, clearly not finding anything. Where would you even get a bug, and why would you do it? You rolled your eyes inwardly but kept a straight face in front of the man, just in case he was watching. Which he was, as you found out by him waving in front of your face and showing you to follow him.

You braced yourself for whatever was awaiting upstairs and obediently walked behind him.

As you walked through the house, you got the impression that whoever lived there was wealthy, but that kind that didn’t really put on a flashy show. There were no chandeliers, no heavy curtains and stuff you pretty much imagined this place would look like and that image had nothing to do with the Beast and the Beauty dance room, nothing at all.

But this was… modest. Everything was very contemporary, some prominent brick here and there with mostly grey floors and the furniture was most definitely customary but, again, it was plain yet luxurious. You assumed that’s how the really rich people lived. They knew they had the money, and the people around them knew it as well, so there was no need for diamond stairs and a golden toilet.

A few names surged from memory as you heard your coworkers discuss the wealthy New Yorkers, but you didn’t want to assume anything before you actually saw the person, so you just walked by the halls before the man stopped in front one of the rooms and quietly knocked.

It was not surprising when another man dressed exactly like the guy leading you appeared from the room and took a quick look at you before he said something to whoever was behind him. When the affirmative came that you could indeed go in there, they shoved the door open and what you assumed was a living room appeared in front of you. It corresponded with the whole house, but your attention was caught by one specific thing. Your brain had its own world, and when you saw one of Tunji Adeniyi-Jones’s paintings from his last year’s exhibit, you almost fainted. He was your favourite contemporary artist. And seeing his work outside of the gallery was practically an otherworldly feeling. You gaped at the beautiful play of colours, and your heart swooned at the perfection of the brush strokes.

“Ehm,” you heard somebody cough beside you, and it startled you so much you actually jumped to the side, your hand flying to your chest in a feeble attempt to will your heart to stay calm.

You took the intruder in and found out that unlike every other man in the room (and there were a few, as you noticed) this guy wasn’t wearing all-black attire. He was in a comfortable-looking creme sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans, everything fitting him as if the clothes were sawn to his body.

Which, as far as you could tell, was the body of a Greek God.

“See something you like, honey?” The man interrupted thoughts, and it just crossed your mind that he was really rude, not letting you breathe even for a second before he had to make his presence known.

“Yes, actually. I’m quite a big fan of the artist whose painting you have there, so I admired that. And you are?” You trailed at the end, signalling that while he was very handsome, you had no idea who he was and why it was that you needed to come to him this evening.

“Straight to business, huh? I like that. I’m quite surprised Tony didn’t tell you who I was. Was he scared you wouldn’t have come if you knew?” He didn’t wait for your answer, however. “Well, honey, I’m Steve Rogers, and I am very pleased to meet you,” he smirked at your stomach dropped.

Steve Rogers? That Steve Rogers? It wasn’t possible.

“You gotta be kidding me,” you muttered as you scratched your arms nervously.

“Oh no, on the contrary. I’m all too real, Miss Y/L/N, and from the looks of it, I’m glad Tony didn’t tell you, you look like you might faint. Are you feeling alright?” He asked like the smug asshole he was, and you just turned away from him, taking a deep breath before you finally turned back around to face him with a pokerface.

“I’m alright, thank you. So now, can I know what it is you want from me so much you stalked me and made me come here, pretty much by force?”

He scoffed but showed you to follow him to the sofa. When you didn’t budge, he simply took you by your elbow and pretty much shoved you down to the plump sofa.

“Force, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I simply asked you to come visit me, is it so wrong? But yes, you are right, we should talk about why I invited you here. You see, Y/N, I’m in need of a wife, and after long calculations, I came to the conclusion you would be perfect for the job,” he said straightforwardly, and it was now that you felt like you’d faint.

“Marry me? Are you fucking insane?” You couldn’t hold it in any longer. Form the pissed off expression on his face, you could see it was not the right move, but he couldn’t expect any other reaction, really.

“Easy, honey or I might have to use the said force to shut that smart mouth of yours,” Steve mumbled dangerously, and you swallowed harshly.

“Right, you’re a notorious mobster, and I’m literally nobody, and if you killed me, nobody would miss me. Good, now that’s out of the table, why do you want to marry me? And what does it mean you are in need of a wife? I mean… you are notorious for dating a different girl every week, can’t you just marry one of them if you’re in such a great hurry?”

“No, honey, I can’t. All you need to know right now is my proposal. So, here it is. You will marry me, we will stay married for a year and then get a divorce. You will have everything every girl ever wanted: loads of clothes, all the time in the world to do whatever the fuck you want, you won’t have to work, and I will pay for everything and more. You will live here so you won’t have to worry about your rent money, and I will also pay your student loan, on top of which you will be paid 20.000$ every month for playing your role. And when the year is over, you will walk away rich, without any debts slowing you down and you will be able to do anything you want. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like it’s not a proposal but a directive,” you smiled sweetly and stood up, pacing the room and scratching your hands like crazy. This was not happening, no, no, no!

You needed the money, you really did, and getting rid of the debt from your student loan that would have been sweet too, but at what price? On the other hand, you thought, how bad could it be to just be somebody’s wife for a year? He did make it sound pretty easy.

“What would be expected of me?”

“Well, you would go with me to every event and pretty much listen to everything I say,” he shrugged as if it was the most natural thing to say to another human being.

“Like, you’d ask me to spread my legs for you here, and I would do it?” You asked, suddenly very angry that the man just assumed what kind of a person you were. You were desperate, but not that desperate.

“Oh, no, honey. That is one of the reasons why I chose you: I’m not attracted to you, so no, I wouldn’t ask you for any sexual favours. We could even put that to our contract if you’d feel better, but, really, you have nothing to worry from me,” he again said with ease, and you didn’t know if you were glad he just told you this or really pissed and ashamed.

Not that you thought you were some kind of a beauty, far from it, but he also didn’t have to be so upfront about it. And now you understood it even less why the hell he chose you.

“You want to marry me. But you still haven’t told me why, so?” You asked for like the hundredth time that evening, and the man just smirked again, playing with his cuffs, never answering to your satisfaction.

“Honey, what I want, I get, and I decided that I wanted you, so, what is going to be? Are you gonna be a good girl for me or am I gonna have to force you, hm?” He smiled sweetly, but even you knew better. Behind that oh-very-sweet smile, there was venom and a ton of it. You rubbed your temples and plopped down on the nice-looking couch, thinking about what he was proposing.

“Then why choosing me if you don’t find me attractive? Not that it’s an issue, I’m just really trying to understand the situation here,” you said, totally ignoring the threat in his voice as you needed some much valuable answers.

“Right, well, first of all, as I already mentioned, what I want, I get, honey, and you should always remember that. Secondly, it was your ability to keep a straight face, even though I can see the ability is not endless. I need somebody who will be sickly sweet to both my friends and enemies alike, who won’t mind a few sleazy comments from the old fuckers, and who will look like an obedient wife. I need somebody who will blend in and who will look trustworthy, and not like she was to stay only for a week. And when I saw you in that pub where you used to work, I could see you had what it took to be in this life, even if only for a year,” he finished, and you were glad you were right at least about the guy, Steve, also sending the people to sniff around your workplace. But then it hit you.

“Where I used to work? I still work there,” you said dumbfounded, and Steve chuckled humorously.

“Oh no, you don’t. You see, I need my wife free all the time and I need her here with me. Look, Y/N, this is getting tiring, and I really need an answer now. What is it gonna be, huh?”

“Like I even have a choice. You just said you would use force if I said no, so, what am I supposed to say, huh? I don’t want to get married, but I don’t have any money and your snoopy ass is getting in the way of my life, and you ended one of my jobs, and before you say you terminated my contract in the gallery, please think about it again. That job is very important to me, it has always been my dream to be in a gallery surrounded by beautiful art, and, by chance, having my art there as well.

I don’t know Steve, your offer is very generous, it really is, but I don’t think I’m the right one,” you sighed finally and looked around the room, ignoring the boring looks from Steve. Then you saw the clock and you almost panicked, it was two minutes before 9.

“Oh my God, I need to call my friends, or they’re gonna call the cops,” you said quickly already dialling Caroline’s number. You told her you were fine and that no, you weren’t a personal slave yet, but that you’d tell them everything when you got home. When the call ended, the venom was back in Steve’s eyes.

“If you think you can talk to people about anything I have just said, you are terribly wrong, doll,” he seethed, and you were taken aback, but you didn’t want him to think he intimidated you.

“Well, if you think I’m not gonna tell my family about this, then it’s you who is terribly wrong, Steve. We tell each other everything, and if I considered this proposal of yours, it would mean Aidan and Caroline would know about this, at least that I’m marrying you for more than my undying love for you,” you spat back, and Steve saw the determination in your eyes. He knew he had to compromise with you, even if only a little bit.

He already found out everything about you, he knew your whole life, your past, everything his people could find on the internet. And what he got from the search was that you and the people you lived with were extremely close. He considered getting rid of them but realised it would only push you away from what he needed from you. And he needed a wife ASAP.

The mafia was still very conservative, and as he was the only boss without a constant woman by his side, he was sometimes excluded from important meetings that happened on “family retreats.” And he needed all the info there was if he wanted to be the best of the best. Or, the worst of the worst, if we were being literal.

“Fine, but they will need to sign a contract saying that they will keep their mouths shut,” Steve smiled back, and you nodded, your head already spinning.

Were you really considering it? But was there any other option? You needed the money, and it would’ve be great if you didn’t have to care about your student loan for the rest of your life. You would see the world, just like you wanted, you would have time for your art, and you would be free after only a year. That didn’t sound that bad. Sure, you’d be affiliated with a known mafia boss, but that was nothing you couldn’t handle. But there was still a question Steve didn’t answer.

“What about my job at the gallery? If you made them fire me and I’m gonna find out tomorrow, I can’t even begin to consider this. I want that job, I want to work at that gallery, Steve.”

“Fucking hell, I could buy you the gallery if you agreed!” He shouted, exasperated that it was taking so long. He really didn’t get it. He was proposing a life in luxury, and he knew that the majority of women in New York would be more than happy to be seen by his side. But you? You had to be difficult and even demand stuff. Fucking hell…

“But whatever, you wanna work there, fine. Whatever, I don’t give a fuck. Do we have a deal or not? I have better things to do with my evening than just bargain with you, honey,” he accentuated the pet name that you already hated.

Well, this wasn’t how you imagined your proposal to go. Not that you were too keen on the whole idea of a marriage, but still, a girl could dream. Yet, here you were, actually considering getting tied up with a mobster for a year just because he offered you enough money and a life that you felt like could be interesting, if only for a year and with a man who blatantly told you he wasn’t interested in you in that way. This was the only reason you didn’t feel as dirty as you expected because you knew he would never touch you and never want you to do something sexual against your will.

You were used to lying through your teeth ever since you were little, your parents made sure you knew how important it was to keep your secret, and dangerous life wasn’t something you only heard of on TV. All this made the decision slightly easier, as you finally made up your mind.

“Fine, but we still have a lot to talk about, Mr Rogers,” you set your jaw and outstretched your hand to shake on it with him.

“Whatever, Mrs Rogers. Consider your rent paid and I’ll see you on Friday when we discuss our matter in greater detail. Now, if you excuse me,” he kissed the top of your hand and walked away.

Well, this would be fun, you told yourself as you watched the man you would soon call your husband walk away from you, and contemplated whether you made the right choice. But your life wasn’t great as was, as much as you tried to fill it with laughter and happiness, and, in a sense, Steve offered you an out, even if only for a little bit.

Here was to nothing, you hollered at yourself in your mind and followed one of the turtleneck-guys out of the manor and into the chilly air of evening New York.

/ Next Chapter >

Tags will be in reblogs. Taglist for this series is open, all you have to do is send an ask or a message to me :) x Thank you for reading!

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sage-nebula · 3 years

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@smallestfish

I typed about five cellphone screens arguing against this with things in the game, but I accidentally highlighted all but the last couple lines and replaced them with a closing bracket instead of hitting copy. So, heavily shortened, Josh was more respectful to everyone in this game than the first one. He made a bet that the city would sort itself out if it had a few extra lives, moved one or two pieces when it was necessary, and let his opponent paint himself into a corner. Then, either Haz or he could just make it magically better after anyway if things really did go south, and things did, so they did. Haz was significantly more cruel than Joshua has ever been by resurrecting everyone except Rindo's friends just to watch the kid squirm, and we know he did it with the intent to see how Rindo would react. There's a question to be asked of why Haz only intervened after time travel stopped being an option, and the answer makes Josh look like he's only waiting for Haz and Rindo to quit first and make his intervention actually necessary and good.

Replying this way because typing in the limit-restricted tumblr replies is annoying.

I disagree that the Shinjuku Game is in any way more respectful to anyone than the Shibuya Game. The Shinjuku Game was explicit psychological torture on the Players with no end in sight but their own erasure. The Variabeauties, Purehearts, and Deep Rivers Society were stuck for I believe 30+ loops; that’s seven months. During that time they not only saw other teams erased, but knew that their own erasure could come at any moment, and it’s specifically spelled out in the Secret Reports that this has an averse psychological effect on the Players. Of course, not that we needed that; Fuya, a 27-year-old man, was reduced to hysteric sobbing once he realized that his and his team’s fate was sealed. Motoi was never what you’d call an upstanding person (he was a plagiarist and an art thief), but his facial expressions when his treachery is revealed show that his sanity has been slipping for a while and he, too, is left grasping for any hope of salvation he can find. Kanon outright says she knows the Game is rigged and there’s no hope of winning, but she’s willing to try whatever she can to at least make it fair; it’s pretty clear that this unwinnable Game has been breaking her morale as well. And hell, by week two we see Fret’s optimism shaking as he realizes that the Ruinbringers can snatch victory away on technicalities, so even two weeks in a Shinjuku Game is enough to start wearing down on Players’ psyches, let alone thirty.

In the Shibuya Game, on the other hand, while it’s more brutal in the sense that the Reapers are out for blood (everyone’s gotta eat), anyone left alive at the end of the Week gets a chance to be restored to life or become a Reaper. (Well, most everyone. I think in the OG Secret Reports it’s stated that some are still redistributed into the Imagination of the UG, but for the most part all winners get a chance to return to life or become Reapers.) On top of which, the Players aren’t pitted against each other; they’re allowed, even encouraged, to work together to complete the missions and defeat the Noise. Shibuya’s Game encourages personal growth and development, whereas Shinjuku’s Game encourages competition and, to be honest, psychological torment. Joshua wanted to erase everyone in Shibuya just as Hazuki did in Shinjuku, yes, but his Game is far less cruel to the Players involved, not to mention the Reapers.

But Joshua simply . . . didn’t care about that, for three years. For three entire years he sat back and allowed Shiba to waltz in and dethrone Uzuki as Conductor. He allowed Shiba to disregard Shibuya’s Game in favor of Shinjuku’s. He allowed the Shinjuku Reapers to erase nearly every single one of his own Reapers for daring to speak out against this, to the point where Uzuki and Kariya feel as though their only option is to keep their mouths shut and go along with it, for their own safety. For three years he allowed Shibuya’s Players to not have the chance to grow, to develop, to discover themselves, to question what it is they’d want out of a second chance, and instead undergo literal hell in an unwinnable Game with no idea what they ever could have done to deserve such punishment. (The answer is, of course, nothing. They did nothing to deserve it. They just suffered it anyway.)

The point is: The Composer is the one who creates the UG. He is the one who creates the rules for how it operates, both within the limitations of the Game and otherwise. When Kubo and the Shinjuku Reapers came to call, and Kubo made it known that he wanted to “purify” Shibuya the way that he did Shinjuku, Joshua made a deliberate choice to enter into this Game with him and leave Shibuya to its fate. He flat out says this is his intention in “A New Day”:

Now, while one could try to argue that he was lying here, because he lies a second after this about not caring about Neku anymore (although in my opinion his definition of “care” is still pretty damn selfish), his actions in Neo make it abundantly clear. Joshua could have very easily done what Hazuki did to Kubo three years ago by booting him out of Shibuya and back to the Higher Plane. He could have easily let Uzuki keep her spot as Conductor and protected his Reapers from erasure by the Shinjuku Reapers. He could have very easily just returned Neku to the RG (thus protecting him from the Shinjuku Reapers / Kubo) instead of locking him in the remains of Shinjuku. He could have very easily done all of this and it would have been within his rights because whether the Higher Plane likes it or not, Shibuya is still his city and he didn’t technically break any rules by choosing not to go through with the purification. Whether Shibuya was purified or not was his call, even if they didn’t like his choice. It’s the reason why Hanekoma is in angel jail and Joshua is not.

But he didn’t. He chose not to. I’ve seen some speculate that this was due to Higher Plane politics, that Joshua wanted to show the Higher Plane that Shibuya was worth saving because it had citizens who could stand up even against angels and win. He wanted them to see what he sees in Shibuya. But even if that was his intention, countless lives were lost because of his decision. Countless people suffered because of his decision. The Variabeauties, the Purehearts, the Deep River Society—hell, even Reapers like Ayano and Susukichi—their erasure dust is partially on Joshua’s hands. He could have prevented all of this and he made a deliberate decision not to. The fact that Hanekoma makes a point in multiple Secret Reports (getting increasingly frustrated each time) that Joshua had opportunity to do something yet chose not to tells us all we need to know about how tied Joshua’s hands were, and the fact is that they were not. Or if they were, the only person who tied them was Joshua himself.

A few final notes:

1.) My original shitpost was not about Hazuki’s morality or saying that he’s a “better person” than Joshua, but merely pointing out that he did more to save Shibuya (despite it not being his city and not his responsibility) than Joshua did, which is factually true. Joshua did nothing beyond show up for “moral support” for Neku and return Shoka to the RG. (And as far as we know, it was only Shoka. The Variabeauties, Deep River Society, and Purehearts are presumably still erased since they lost the Game.) Even after Neku and the others were perma-erased, Joshua did nothing. He did not intervene. He claims to Neku later that if things got really bad he would have, but again . . . everyone died, the city was on fire, and he was nowhere to be found, so I personally don’t think his word is worth very much here. Bottom line, I’m not saying Hazuki is a better person than Joshua—honestly I think they’re on the same level, more or less—but only that it’s hilarious that he actually took action to save a city that wasn’t his.

2.) For emphasis, Hazuki didn’t have to intervene. Shibuya is not his city. It’s not his responsibility. He could have returned to the Higher Plane to do angel things if he’d really wanted to. He exorcised Kubo for erasing Shibuya once he saw that Shibuya was actually going to be erased because Joshua had saved it once and he was curious as to why, and he couldn’t quite figure that out if Shibuya was gone. But he didn’t have to, and in fact he points out to Rindo that he won’t be able to do so again. But either way, it really wasn’t his job. It was Joshua’s. Joshua just chose not to do it, for whatever reason.

TL;DR:

Joshua let a lot of people suffer and perma-die when he very easily could have prevented it for reasons that are unfathomable even to the Producer (“Does [the Composer] have a plan at all?” — Secret Report #20), and while this was perhaps due to Higher Plane politics and wanting to Prove A Point to the angels of the Higher Plane, that doesn’t change the fact that the suffering and erasure of countless individuals was a direct result of his inaction, or that another city’s Composer had to step in to give the Players a chance to fix the mess because Joshua himself couldn’t be bothered to do so.

#neo: the world ends with you #ntwewy #neo twewy #long post for ts #smallestfish #also Rindo was Joshua's proxy so . . . if Rindo lost Joshua lost #and Joshua STILL did nothing even when Rindo DID lose #HAZUKI had to intervene #quite the contrast to the first game where Joshua joined up in Week 2 to ensure Neku could survive the week #(but also to needle him back to his old ways - or try to. or see if Neku would regress with needling. for science.)#Joshua's such an interesting character but he is not nice or selfless or even good #the only nice angel is Hanekoma #and that is Facts #ntwewy spoilers #neo twewy spoilers

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meanautisticenbian · 3 years

Text

Fuck it, I'm gonna dissect all the bullshit in that one Lilith post bit by bit

TW// Lilith hate, victim blaming, abuse, cult mention, ableism towards Autistic people, sexualization of minors (briefly mentioned)

I'll be putting my text in bold just in case it's hard to distinguish between the pictures and my commentary

Here's the post I'm referring to in case you're curious

Moving on and starting with this bit

People pay attention to Eda all the damn time, she's literally one of the main characters. Funny how you only mention tik tok and nothing else. Is that the only other social media you have? Because fans on different social media platforms act much differently; on IG and Reddit stuff like the sexualization of minors and fucking ODALIA AND ALADOR STANS are normalized, where everywhere else it's pretty much universally agreed that that stuff is bad. I don't know a lot about what toh Tik Tok is like just because I don't usually go on tik tok, but even if it is like this, it's not the same for the rest of the fandom. A lot of the fandom still hates Lilith and blames her for her abuse and not being able to leave

You say that like she's a bad person, she's really not. The curse she placed on Eda wasn't intended to be permanent and probably wasn't even supposed to take the effects that it did. She was most likely scammed. I mean look at how she reacts when Eda transforms for the first time. She also feels guilty enough about it to throw herself into an abusive situation and spend almost her whole life trying to make up for it. Lastly, yes she hurt Luz, but let's not forget that Belos threatened her life upon Eda's capture and Lilith was running out of time and had no other option. Obviously what she did was wrong but she's not the real monster here.

"I do like Lilith" this entire essay says otherwise.

Literally none of us ignore any of the bad shit she's done, stop lying about us.

Yes, Lilith did mock her for her curse, which was messed up, but we don't actually know for sure if the curse is basically canonically a disability in that world, so if that's the case then for now it's technically not ableism until we get confirmation otherwise.

"it was an accident and I forgive Lilith" no you fucking don't. First of all this entire essay is you talking about how evil you think she is and secondly, if it really was as bad as you view it, you wouldn't be that forgiving.

Ah yes the victim blaming, the one thing that almost everyone does to Lilith and barely anyone talks about.

There is literally not a single Lilith stan out there who blames Eda for getting cursed. You're just mad that your victim blaming towards Lilith got called out so you silence us by lying about how we do the same thing to Eda.

No one is making Eda out to be the villain either, the only example I can find of this is a few fanfics where she treats Lilith a lot more harshly than she should, and even then, scenes like that are written in a positive light as if you're supposed to be on Eda's side, so with that in mind, the writers of these fics are clearly not even Lilith stans. In terms of how actual stans treat Eda, the worst they do is make her slightly ignorant of Lilith's trauma, kinda like the fandom, minus the "slightly", until she grows as a character and learns to see the red flags. If that's the problem you're talking about, then breaking news: Eda's not perfect either. She has flaws too just like literally everyone else in the show and people are allowed to write about them

Tell me the truth: are people making playlists for Lilith that include a lot of sad and angry songs because she's not a happy person anyway so there wouldn't be a point in having any happy songs, or are they making "trauma" playlists? There's a difference

I'm sorry, are you trying to tell me that people recognizing Lilith's trauma is victim blaming Eda? That's not how it works sweetycakes

There is far more Eda angst out there than there is for Lilith, where are you finding so much Lilith angst? LILITH is the one who's traumas are being ignored while Eda's gets all the attention. You're acting like one of those white cis gays on twitter who see black people talking about the anti blackness they experience daily and accuse them of being homophobic because "there is so much homophobia in the world and they still manage to make it all about race".

No one is saying that Lilith has worse trauma, we're only saying that her's is also severe and that it definitely exists. Also funny how you're allowed to be mad at us for comparing Lilith and Eda's trauma (once again lying about us), then you go on to do the exact same thing and say that EDA'S trauma is worse. Even if, hypothetically speaking, Eda did have it worse, that doesn't mean Lilith doesn't have the right to be traumatized. Both of them have trauma, both should be recognized. Also, Lilith had far more going on in her life than just the guilt of her actions, she was was implied to have been psychologically and maybe physically abused, and was probably even tortured. Stop ignoring all the red flags and condemn the actual abuser (Belos) before you criticize anything the abused (Lilith) has done.

We're not making everything about Lilith, like shut up.

Please don't say that autistic people "have autism", it implies that it's something that can be removed from us. For example: you don't say "a person with blackness" when referring to black people or "a woman with homosexuality" when referring to Lesbians.

Oh yeah I'm also autistic so here are MY thoughts

Amity and Lilith are not antagonists anymore, hcing them as Autistic is not villainizing autism.

The autistic Lilith headcanon was made by autistic fans, allistics only latched onto it because they either wanted to be supportive or they saw that she actually had a lot of autistic traits

You're not the only autistic person alive, just because you're not like Lilith or Amity doesn't mean none of us are or they're not autistic. I mean, I know I am

You're not fun or funny

"not all Autistic people are like this" remember that line, dear readers

Actually, I prefer the autistic villain trope MUCH more than the grown ass autistic adult that acts like a five year old trope. At least we'd have less stereotypes associated with us.

Autism is not supposed to be portrayed in only fun and happy characters, that is literally the epitome of stereotyping and infantilizing. You literally just said that not all autistic people are the same, doesn't this count as being all the same? Does this mean I don't exist anymore? Am I just not autistic? Are you even aware that a flat affect or monotone voice is literally a very common autistic trait? You can't just say that we're stereotyping autistics and then just go on to stereotype us, like what the fuck are you even on? Is it only ok when you do it?

Amity is not edgy for fuck's sake

Literally no one is headcanoning Lilith or Amity as autistic because they're mean, we headcanon them as autistic because they actually show traits of it

Oh, our harmless headcanons are making you feel uncomfortable because they don't fit into the stereotypes you made up about us? Good to know our plan is working I guess

Last thing I wanna say regarding this post as a whole: why are you acting like liking Lilith and feeling sympathy for her is a bad thing? If you find this then don't say "I don't think that's a bad thing", answer HONESTLY

Well that's all I have for now, thank you for reading, I need to go to bed soon

#im posting this late but i didn't get to be online as much as i wanted #lilith clawthorne #toh #toh lilith #lilith #the owl house #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #toh eda #toh amity #toh luz

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 3 years

Text

Last kiss

This is uhm, I took three days to even brainstorm this as a whole and it was supposed to involve a lot of other things but I decided to leave it here and see if you guys wanted to see more of this

Summary: Zeke confesses to you and all youre forced to have to bid your lover goodbye in hopes of sacrificing yourself for greater good.

Pairing: Levi/Reader, Zeke Yeager/Reader

Maybe you should have died back then, while reclaiming Shiganshina, with all of your other comrades before Zeke ever had a chance to lay his eyes on you. Maybe you should have been shot by Kenny or get eaten by a Titan on a casual expedition, anything would've been more preferable than having to listen to Zeke confessing to you.

"You understand this is something you can't tell to your subordinates right?"

This was pure, painful, agonizing torture. Sitting there with your back turned to him, hidden in the darkness of an alley. You didn't know how to respond and frankly you didn't even want to. It felt like daggers piercing through your thin sensitive skin, through your camel colored leather jacket.

"I don't know what you expect from me Zeke." You speak, just above your breath, back still turned to him and your eyes shut closed as you refused to spare a look on his form or even on his shadow.

In all honesty you don't feel like he expects something from you moretheless. Perhaps he enjoys having you cornered like a rat right then and there and perhaps this is his way of trying to get to Levi's head, to strip him of anything he has left and make him a weak opponent.

Then again if he wanted to get in his head he wouldn't be here, talking to you for all that matters. He's be attacking him.

"Come on! Why do you even associate yourself with that midget of man. I could-"

"Stop!"

"I could take you see the world and maybe-"

"Stop, really" You halt his speech once again, silently, as if you're trying not to wake him up from that idiotic dream world of his in which he thinks you can ever even have a shared future. This time you turn to look at him, wide eyes painted with agony, with hot flowing streaks of tears with watered eyes and clear stained cheeks. "You really think I can forgive a man who massacred my friends? You think you have any right to intervene between me and Levi?"

As he begs you to reconsider your beliefs, to have a chance of heart, you avert your gaze to the stone ground of the alleyway. You can't bear to spend your gaze on him not even if it's driven by rage. Not anymore. Yet you decide not to speak of your personal hatred towards him. You only mutter him a tiny 'I'll think about it' as you begin to stomp away.

It's not like Hange would ever advice you to engage so close with an enemy who slaughtered your comrades to no end that eventful day.

You're surprised when you find out she thinks otherwise to the point you regret ever speaking of it. Withholding important information on the enemy is treason, an act you are not about to commit for you've fought very hard for the people inside the walls to be alive an free. So why is Hange depriving you from living that way.

Steel grey eyes blink into yours with mutted rage as you speak of Zeke's words concerning their mighty owner. Not only was that blond bearded piece of shit the cause of all his comrades death he now had the audacity to claim you his most prized possession. Levi just despises the way Zeke thinks that everything belongs to him, how he's taken everything from him and now is launching on for more.

Levi, although he never speaks of it outloud, can see the look of horror and disgust plastered on your face as Hange encourages you to take a positive action against Zeke's proposal. And even the sound of it manages to pain him in ways he had never thought were possible.

"What if he kills her, Hange. What if this is all a plan and that's why he didn't want her telling us about it."

Hange answers in inaudible muffles, unsure of what to say or believe. He watches as you try to object, to shriek your way out of this horrible mess you're about to be put in and all because you love him. And Hange knows even if she refuses to bring it up at the moment, as if it means nothing to anyone.

"Dedicate your fucking heart, this is your oath!" His breath is cut short as he utters the words, looking directly in your eyes, flooding your insides with guilt and horror for what's to come next.

"No" it's a simple, rebellious reply, that you've only just decided to adopt when addressing him "I'm not doing anything if it means I'm going to lose you."

Levi bites his lower lip and squints his eyes shut; how can he ever even fathom having to endure seeing you in Zeke's arms and why should this be done for the sake of humanity. You weren't an object to be used against Zeke, he could scream of it at the top of his lungs if the circumstance even so slightly needed it.

"All I'm saying is, approach him."

"He won't believe me."

Hange explains that this weakness he's shown may be the end of him for all you've known, but Levi and you refuse to listen as you fix your pained eyes on each other with despair. It occurs to you that this may be the last time, hopefully in a while, that you ever get to encounter him like this and the thought proceeds to munch on your brain like maggots on a rotting corpse. You're lost in the moment, in his eyes, in Hange's earth shattering statements.

Nothing's fair in war and love you know yet it's difficult to even bat an eye in positive response to this plan as your heart is pressuring to know why you have to be the one to take a stand in taking out the enemy from within. But there's no such answer to your question. Humane emotions are unpredictable, unstable and unusual and in any other circumstance, it wouldn't be bad for Zeke to have fallen for anyone. Given your context though, not only was it bad, it was suffocating. You refused to have anything taken from Levi every again, yet here you are, stepping into the corpses of those words as his despairate eyes are pleading with you in silence.

_____

The plan is simple.

"Zeke?" Tears run down your eyes as your soft voice grazes his eardrums in the lowest of pained tones. He takes a look at your form, particularly in that muddy nightgown that adorns it and then your shoveled hair and that deadbeat expression in your watered orbs.

You reach out to him in the middle of the night, crying, wheezing, supposedly after a fight with Levi, anything to get his sympathy. Seeing his biased behavior over you this will be easy as blinking your eyes.

"P-please take me to see the world!" You utter and watch as Zeke's eyes widen with hard hidden happiness. He can only imagine what has went wrong that has made you decide to come to him but he never asks, nor does he ever ask about Levi, a fact that assures you his motives aren't what you had suspected.

And it tears your heart in a million little pieces in a way no titan ever could; the way he lifts a hand up to caress your cheek, they way his eyes glimmer with love, his ever so respectful movements towards you as if not to force you into anything. Those thoughts, those brain eating maggots are rapidly moving to your chest, to your stomach, everywhere in your body in hopes to leave you hollow, to assist you in that situation.

You don't have to give in to anything he wants. You can work your way around him and establish what you want but be prepared for anything. This is our only chance to be exposed to such a tremendous weakness. Our future is in your hands just as much as it's on our army. Don't let us down.

As that giant, disgusting, furry hand lifts you up from your feet your mind travels to your lover's chaste last kiss on your dry lips. The pleasurable happiness kisses like this would give you has now scattered away in greater sacrifice of this very moment. In the blink of an eye your life can be taken away from your mortal, expansible hands, fading into complete frightening darkness but what happens when all you're left with is a hollowed body who gets to experience pain and misery and no other option than to have to endure. Your heart is burning the insides of your chest, crawling up your skin with sharp claws that rip through flesh, but nothing ever happens. It never bursts, it never slows down it's beating either. You're only trapped, once again like a death sentenced rat, between Zeke's hand and your horrifying emotions.

It'll be over in no time, I promise you it's for the greater good.

Hey! I hope you enjoyed this 💕 if you want to see more leave a request in my askbox. Thank you for reading I love you all💞

#aot #snk #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #levi #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #attack on titan #zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager #zeke aot #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman imagine #levi aot #angst

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rosemochi · 3 years

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16. Daybreak.

"How much for a room?"

The innkeeper stares. Zack stares back. He knows he's getting blood all over the floor, but it's not as if he can help it, and if the man declines to help him, then the puddle will just get larger. Finally, the innkeeper sighs, and Zack's shoulders sag in relief. "Hundred gil. Only got single beds, though."

He limps towards the desk. It takes a great deal of effort to grab his wallet, considering Cloud is still slung over his back. "That's fine." After a pause, he says, "Sorry about the mess. I'll clean—"

"Don't worry about it." The innkeeper hands him a key. "Room charge includes a cleanin' fee."

Their accommodations are filthy, but it's still better than the lab. Zack sets Cloud down on the bed, strips him of his wet clothes, and covers him with as many blankets as he can find. He still looks uncomfortable — because anybody would've been uncomfortable on such a thin mattress — so Zack takes his own pillow and shoves it underneath Cloud's head, leaving his own side bare. Finally, he collapses into a nearby armchair and watches Cloud with half-lidded, heavy eyes. "What are we gonna do?"

Cloud doesn't answer, of course. The only noise that greets Zack is the sound of the slums outside the window; the bustling crowds, loud, inhospitable, naturally wary of broad-shouldered men in sleeveless turtlenecks. It was a miracle that he'd even managed to find this inn, considering most people in Sector 7 avoided him like the plague. "We'll figure it out." Zack's voice is light, airy, confident; the opposite of what he feels inside. "It'll be fine."

---

It's not fine.

The next day dawns. Zack counts out his remaining gil. There's only enough for a week's worth of food, and that's if he stretches it. Going to the hospital isn't an option, and it's far too late to take a potion, so he eventually resorts to digging out the bullets in his torso with a pocket knife. They make a strange kind of music as they hit the bathroom sink, clinking against the porcelain, accompanied by the steady drip, drip, drip of Zack's blood. Cloud sleeps through Zack's grunts of pain, which he's grateful for — he doesn't want Cloud to see him like this.

As Zack bandages his wounds, he thinks back to the encounter that gave him all of these injuries to begin with. He's pretty sure Cloud didn't get hit by anything, but it's not as if he's conscious enough to say otherwise.

"Sorry, buddy," Zack says. "Gotta do this."

He lifts the blankets up. Cloud's torso looks fine — other than the keloid scar in the center of his chest, stark against his pale skin, and the frightening way his ribs stick out from his body, made thin by five years of stillness and artificial nutrition. Zack doesn't look for very long, because it feels weird; he's oddly flustered by the time he finishes his pseudo-examination.

Once he's finished, Zack goes to sit on the side of the bed and misses it entirely. He slowly sinks to the threadbare carpet, his shirt catching on the rough comforter as he goes down. His head is pounding, as if somebody's hammering on the insides of his brain with a hammer. "Good," he murmurs, relieved. "Just me, then."

---

Zack wakes, his head still aching, and hastily dresses in the only outfit he has. He wants to run his errands before the slums awaken, but Sector 7 is full of early birds... that are naturally wary of Shinra-issued super-soldiers. Zack arrives at a grocery store, dressed in his infamous uniform (sans pauldrons, though it doesn't help much), beelines for the produce, and promptly gets spat at over a bushel of carrots.

"I'm an ex-SOLD—" Zack sighs. The old Wutain woman walks away, muttering curses under her breath. "Nevermind."

He heads to a nearby clothing store and spends far too much money (five gil) on a new set of clothes. The turtleneck, belt, and pants find their way into a nearby dumpster. Now incognito, Zack quickly buys some necessities — food, water, more bandages, a bar of soap — and races back to the hotel room, eager to check on Cloud.

"I'm home," he announces. Cloud doesn't respond. Zack sits on the side of the bed and rifles through the grocery bags, emerging with a container of fruit. "I bought blueberries." He hastily covers his mouth with his other hand as he coughs, his chest burning from the exertion of running up the stairs. "Your—" Another cough. "Your favourite."

---

Could he be a mercenary? He doesn't see why not, really, other than the fact that somebody might recognize him (when he's supposed to be dead). Could leveraging his ex-SOLDIER status help drum up more business? Is it worth the risk? He'll figure it out in the morning, he decides. Zack lies his throbbing head down on the mattress and falls asleep, dreaming of the painkillers he'll buy with his mercenary money.

The fourth day comes. Zack opens his eyes and hisses in pain; the sunlight feels like it's burning a hole through his skull. He flips onto his stomach, seeking darkness, and hears an unfamiliar groan.

It takes him a moment to recognize the sound.

Zack leaps out of bed and immediately sways on his feet. Something is wrong, terribly wrong, but he can't let whatever it is stop him — Cloud needs him. He grabs a bottle of water, brings it to Cloud, and holds his head up so he can drink it.

As soon as the bottle's empty, Cloud asks, "Where are we?"

"Sector 7," Zack says. "The slums."

Cloud's eyes roam up and down Zack's bare torso, pausing at the blood-stained bandages. "I remember the cliff," he croaks. "I thought I dreamed it."

Zack lays back down on the hard mattress. He laughs, but there's no humor in the sound. "I wish."

The mattress squeaks as Cloud turns to face him. Zack carefully looks at him, emaniciated but animated, taking in all of the features — sunken eyes, sharp cheekbones, dry lips — that display his illness, equivalent to Zack's own sorry state. Still, there's something about the sight of Cloud that Zack finds strangely wonderful, something that makes his heart race — a feeling made stronger by the fact that it's him, awake, present, right beside him.

"We're alive," Cloud whispers in wonder.

"Yeah." Zack smiles. "We're alive."

---

Though Zack might not stay that way for long.

Day five. The morning sun burns his eyes like acid. Whatever's been plaguing Zack has grown infinitely worse, and he suspects it has something to do with one of his bullet wounds — whatever's making his bandages stain yellow rather than red. Or perhaps it's because he sat in soaked clothes for hours upon hours as he hauled Cloud to Midgar, frozen to the bone in the frigid December weather.

Or perhaps it's both.

The reason doesn't matter, really, because that's not the point. Isn't he supposed to be immune to these sorts of things? What on earth was the point of his augmentations if he still gets things like colds and infections?

Zack ventures back outside in search of medicine, for things he hasn't taken since he was a child in Gongaga, fighting against strep throat and bronchitis. He heads to the nearest pharmacy, because he still can't afford a doctor. Unfortunately, he finds out he can't afford basic remedies either.

"You got wounded?" The pharmacist says, eyes wide. "How long ago?"

"Five days."

"Way too late for a potion," he murmurs. He looks Zack up and down, then rifles underneath the counter. "I'm not supposed to sell these without a prescription, but..." He rings up the antibiotics. "Two hundred gil."

Zack grimaces. "I have fifty."

The pharmacist directs Zack to the veterinarian next door: somebody who sells drugs under the table for cheap. Zack pays ten gil for a bottle of canine antibiotics (which is still too much, but he can't take care of Cloud if he's dead himself) and stumbles back outside. His head swims as he wobbles down the street, knocking shoulders with Sector 7's many residents. He hits one woman particularly hard. "Sorry," he slurs.

The black-haired woman whirls around to face him. She gasps. "Wait—"

"Sorry."

The woman says something else, but Zack rushes forward, eager to get back to Cloud. He makes it back to the inn (though he's not quite sure how), tears his way back into the room, and promptly rushes for the toilet. The bile tears through his esophagus as it comes up, leaving his throat raw and scorched in its wake.

Something crashes in the bedroom. Zack looks over the rim and sees Cloud crawling towards him, a blanket tangled around his legs. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing," Zack insists, though he's sure he's not doing a very convincing job of it. He flushes the bile away. "Got meds."

Cloud hunts around for the bag that Zack dropped on the floor. Exhausted, he leans back on the bathroom cupboard, rips the bag open, and inspects the bottle. "This says 'for Fido'."

"He said something about 'equivalent doses'," Zack groans. "No idea what that means."

Somehow, he musters up the energy to pull himself up to the sink so he can brush his teeth. Cloud crawls up with him, using the counter as leverage. The image in the mirror is a frightening sight; Zack can barely recognize himself. Cloud reaches up and pulls a sweat-soaked strand of hair from Zack's temple. "When was the last time either of us showered?"

Zack grimaces as he thinks back. "Five years ago?"

It's a good thing they decide to shower together, because they end up having to hold each other up. Cloud doesn't have the dexterity to unbutton his own pants, so Zack does it for him; Zack doesn't have the strength to lift his arms above his head, so Cloud hooks his arms underneath Zack's shirt and pulls. They take turns scrubbing each other clean, trying to make up for each other's deficiencies. Zack's bandages get soaked, but he simply doesn't have the energy to care. "Bend down," Cloud says. "I'll get your hair."

The hot water doesn't last long. Strength spent, they end up on the floor, gasping for air and clutching each other for warmth. Zack's feverish forehead lands on Cloud's cold shoulder; the sensation makes him groan in relief, even though the rest of his body is frozen to the bone. "We might have to stay here forever," Cloud gasps. "I don't have the strength to haul you up."

Zack slowly drags his head up. Droplets of cold water drip down Cloud's chin, his jaw, his neck, collecting in the hollow of his throat. Zack's mouth is impossibly dry; if he didn't know any better, he might've tried to drink from it. "I'd be fine with that," he admits.

---

"Why did you give me your pillow?"

Zack drags his eyes open. Dim streaks of light pierce through the blinds, highlighting the dust in the air. The clock on the nightstand reads 5:30 AM. "You needed it more."

"How?" Cloud croaks. "I was unconscious."

Zack doesn't have a good answer for that, so he stays silent. Cloud sighs and tugs at his shoulders. "Roll over," he says, and Zack slowly complies. His head lands in the center of Cloud's chest — a much comfier surface than the hard mattress. "Stupid," Cloud whispers into his hair. "You're so stupid."

They slowly drift back to sleep. Zack dreams of everything — his childhood in Gongaga, his days as a SOLDIER, the bloodshed in Wutai, the pain, the glory, the atrocities, all blending together into a whirlpool of dreams and nightmares. At the center of the maelstrom, always present, is the laboratory and the years he spent with Cloud, so close and yet so far, within arm's reach but miles away. In his dreams, the glass is impenetrable, no matter how hard he tries to smash it; his screams are muffled by the mako that spills into his throat, filling his lungs, robbing him of freedom.

But not anymore.

Cloud is here. He's in front of him, beneath him, warm, breathing and alive. Cloud's arms rise up to hold him, enveloping Zack in a comforting warmth that feels like home; Zack's hands clutch at Cloud's shirt as if it's the only thing tethering him to the Planet. The fabric underneath his eyes quickly grows damp.

"Still feverish," Cloud whispers, his lips moving against Zack's forehead.

"Yeah?" Zack mumbles, as if he can't tell — though he obviously can. His head is swimming; he feels like a child again, sitting in the bow of his dad's fishing boat, feeling the ocean tug him to and fro. "Not enough dog meds."

"I'll go get them."

Zack's arms tighten around Cloud's waist. "Don't," he says. "They're not doing anything anyway."

"You have to keep taking them for them to work," Cloud argues. He eventually wiggles out from underneath him, though Zack does his best to make him stay put. An eternity passes before he returns, medicine and water in hand. "Open your mouth."

Zack's throat, still raw from bile, aches as he swallows the pills down. Cloud puts the medicine aside and collapses on top of him, utterly spent. They lay there for a while, arms twisted around each other, Zack taking comfort in Cloud's steady heartbeat. "Don't know what I'd do if I lost you," Cloud whispers.

Zack gently runs his fingers through Cloud's sweat-soaked hair. "You'd be fine."

"No," Cloud quietly argues. "No, I wouldn't."

Zack slowly sinks back into unconsciousness. For once, he dreams of nothing; his mind is a dark, cool abyss, a refuge from the fever. When he's pulled back into the world of the living, his surroundings are much of the same. Zack awakens to soft fingers running through his hair, stroking his burning forehead, caressing his sunken cheeks. Is he still dreaming? "Don't stop," Zack croaks. "Feels good."

The stroking continues. The fingers trace his brow, the slope of his nose, the bow of his parched mouth, thumb swiping against his bottom lip — where they suddenly stop. Zack opens his mouth to speak, to breathe, to ask for more, when something else presses against his lips: a mouth as chapped as his own.

The kiss is light, because it has to be; even in his dreams, there's no energy for passion. In its absence, the gentlest of movements becomes profound. Zack sighs as he gently presses his lips to Cloud's, swipes his tongue against his bottom lip, seeking his warmth. A shiver tears through him as Cloud's tongue brushes against his own—

—until Cloud abruptly pulls away. He coughs, his chest rattling as he desperately tries to catch his breath. Zack holds him tight and rubs his back until the coughing fit passes. "Shh," he whispers against Cloud's forehead. "Shh."

Cloud eventually stills. Zack can tell he's feverish too; the skin underneath his lips is hot to the touch. "Sorry," Cloud croaks. The misery in his voice makes Zack's chest hurt. "I'm sorry."

Zack shakes his head. What on earth could he ever be sorry for? "Don't be."

They lay there for what feels like an eternity. Zack drifts in and out of consciousness, through the past and present. The fever tries to pull him under, but he briefly comes up for air. "I'll kiss you properly," Zack croaks, "when we're better."

Cloud's arms tighten around him. "We're not getting better."

He's right. Zack's fever persists, no matter what meds he throws at it; he can feel death hovering nearby, waiting to pull him into the ether. "If you can move," Zack slowly says, "I want you to go to the hospital. Don't—" He coughs. "Don't worry about the—"

Cloud inches himself up Zack's body and kisses him again. He coughs, then kisses the corner of Zack's mouth, coughs, then kisses his cheek; the hacking sound is loud and startling, as if it's tearing his lungs into two. "Shut up," he says. "I'm not leaving you."

Zack's eyes close against his will, robbing him of the opportunity to argue. As he slowly sinks into darkness, he feels something wet drip onto his face, like a familiar droplet of rain from a stormy sky. If he were to open his eyes, would he see dark clouds? Would he still be on the cliff, lying in the torrent, waiting for death?

He opens his mouth to the rain, eager to soothe his parched throat, and tastes salt on his tongue.

---

Zack awakens. The light behind his closed eyelids is warm, soothing, like the sunlight that dries the earth after a storm. A soft breeze brushes against his neck, stirring his hair.

"Hey."

Zack cracks his mouth open. "Hey," he croaks.

The weight of Cloud's body pushes him into the ground. Is he alive? Dead? Has he always been dead? Zack doesn't know much about the afterlife, but he knows it's supposed to be a paradise, and an eternity with Cloud is the closest he'll ever get to it.

The sunlight grows warmer, enveloping him from within. The pain in his body ebbs, replaced by something that Zack can only describe as peace. "I love you," Cloud says.

He turns his head towards the sound. "I love you too," he says, smiling. "Always have."

Another sound slowly enters Zack's consciousness; two sets of heavy boots, smacking against wooden floors. "Somebody's coming," Cloud says. "Shinra?"

Zack wraps his arms around Cloud, holding him tight, tighter, until they're as close as two people could possibly be. Their bodies meld into one entity, one soul, impossible to separate, together for eternity. "I'm not going anywhere without you," Cloud says.

The boots come to a stop. "No," Zack agrees, shaking his head. "Never."

Knock.

Every single thing Zack meant to say over the past five years comes out in a rush. "I love you," he croaks, because he can never say it enough. "I love you, I love you—"

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"I love you too," Cloud says, his voice thick with tears.

"What are you tryin' to do, tear the damn door down?!" the innkeeper growls. "Hold on. I've got a key."

It doesn't matter. None of it does. It doesn't matter what will happen, if they're alive or dead or somewhere in between, if they're spirits wandering through the ether, souls flitting through hazy dreams — because they'll always have each other.

"I love you."

The door opens.

#FF7 #FFVII #Zack Fair #Cloud Strife #Zack Fair/Cloud Strife #clack #drabble challenge #my fic #I wrote this while sick and you can kinda tell

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casualotptrash · 3 years

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Sorry, but [REDACTED] Doesn’t Matter

Spoilers for Persona 3 after October and the ending, and for P4 and P5 “choice moments” or endings

I’m keeping this intro very vague just in case this pops up for someone who hasn’t gotten to this point in the game, or beaten it, but I will go into full spoilers mode under the cut. To give the most basic overview of what this is, it pertains to the loss of a party member in Persona 3.

Now with that over with, welcome to me complaining about a really big issue I have with the whole debate between saving Shinji or letting him die.

Whenever this debate comes up, the number one complaint against the option to let him live is that it “goes against the meaning of the game.” Personally, I find this claim to be untrue for two major reasons. One is that I don’t think it really goes against the meaning of the game in the first place, and also that the game does a very bad job at...making any difference between the two at all?

For my first point, I’ll clarify what I believe the meaning of the game to be. Obviously there are tones of death, and moving past death. However, I don’t believe the message is just “Everyone will die one day, and we need to accept that.” The message is “Everyone will die one day, so we need to make the most of our lives.” This is why Akihiko and Ken find their resolve, because Shinji is gone but they can still continue living their lives for him. This is why SEES continues to live their life to the fullest, because it is what the MC allowed for when they sacrificed themselves. I’m not sure how some people seemed to miss this, or maybe they just didn’t make the same connection, but it seems like it would be hard to miss.

The reason that saving Shinji’s life does not go against this message is because he will still one day die, probably still young because of the drugs, so he still has time to live his life to the fullest. Perhaps you could connect it in a certain way that he is also living for the MC, because they saved his life. The fact that he didn’t die does not take away from the weight that he was willing to die, and thought he would, by saving Ken. It could even go to show that even if you are ready to die, and you somehow get a second chance, that second chance should not be squandered.

That being said, I find the second reason to be a bigger issue for me personally. Before I played P3P, I knew it was possible to save Shinji. I played the Male route first where you cannot save him, so I experienced his death. While I liked the impact, I decided to see the other side of the coin and saved him in my FeMC playthrough. When I actually got to the point where this happened, I was legitimately shocked by how....meaningless it all was?

What I mean by meaningless is that outside of the different scene with Akihiko mourning over his hospital bed instead of the tribute, and the very end of the game where one person who is optional to talk to who says Shinji woke up from his coma (also the NG+ scene but that’s only if it’s NG+ and you romanced him), all of the dialogue is the absolute same. Don’t get me wrong, the two mourning scenes do have a different “feel” to them and are both executed well, but legitimately there are no difference outside of those 2/3 instances, and 2 of those 3 are completely miss-able. Everyone else acts like he is dead. I don’t know how Atlus messed up so bad with not changing any of the dialogue (which is not even voice acted most of the time), but I’m guessing that they just didn’t want to spend the time on it. Even after one quick search on google, I found another person who asked if they actually saved him because everyone was talking the same.

As I mentioned earlier, I knew it was possible to save him and I also knew it was kind of a divisive topic in the fandom, so after figuring out the real “impact” of saving him I was....so confused. I thought “All of that discourse, over nothing?” I at least suspected that maybe the group would visit him, or he would show up in the base game at the end (not NG+ scene), or at the very least Akihiko or Ken would talk about him as if he was still alive, but nah there’s nothing like that. Obviously the player knows he survived and can imagine maybe what the rest of his life will be, but the game does a shit job at actually making the choice mean anything. Both scenes with Akihiko talking to him are sad and impactful, and the dialogue with Ken’s resolution doesn’t change in the slightest. Honestly, like I said outside of those 2/3 possible scenes, I see absolutely nothing to gain in doing one over the other unless you want to see Akihiko cry in an auditorium or in a hospital room.

On top of all of this, there is also the sentiment that this person wrote, and I believe many others also agree with (in relation to FeMC and P3P. I took out the rest of the post because it wasn’t relevant to this topic at all).

Now, they didn’t elaborate much on this, but after what I just said about how the game doesn’t really make any changes at all and sorting out the “meaning of the game” I’d be really interested to see what their reasoning is. Otherwise, it’s hard to imagine how this “literally ruins Akihiko and Ken” when their dialogue, cutscenes, and growth are 99.9% the same. That part alone is a bit frustrating, but what really gets me is how they don’t like the FeMC at all (or p3p, which was said earlier in another comment by them) because she can do this optional choice?

Obviously, anyone can dislike choices that are optional in a game. That’s just how it goes if you have multiple ways of doing things. Some you’ll like, and some you wont. However, why is it that basically every time I see someone say they don’t like the FeMC it’s because of a choice in the game and not something about her actual character? I really can’t stress enough how insane it is (to me) that people cannot disconnect what you as the player can choose in a game from the actual character. Because, do you know....believe it or not...there are people who play the FeMC route and don’t save Shinji? Or don’t romance Ken? Baffling, I know!

Is the FeMC somehow a better character if Shinji still dies or Ken isn’t romanced? Not to these people, I suppose. Somehow she’s still just as disliked, because the option was there in the first place. I honestly don’t know why this happens, but it’s also complete hypocrisy on their parts. Do they not like Yu for being able to murder Namatame? Or how about Joker, who can enslave all of Tokyo (the world? I don’t know if it’s made clear) if he accepts Yaldy’s deal? It’s very likely they still love those two, or at least one of them.

“But Casual, those don’t matter because they’re not canon!”

Neither is saving Shinji or romancing Ken, so kiss my ass :)

Anyway.

Just to make this clear, this post isn’t meant to bash people who dislike saving Shinji (or perhaps the implications of doing so) or dislike FeMC, but to point out how the game really takes none of this into consideration and that it’s a bit ridiculous for people to dislike FeMC for reasons that they seemingly don’t take into consideration for the other protagonists.

It’s kind of hard to put into words, but I’m just utterly baffled on how much trouble this causes when it’s really worth nothing. I can understand how people who only experienced his death could be affected, but only in the sense that they either think it goes against the “everyone will die” message and/or comprehend Shinji’s impact even after the game/story is over (which is done by their own volition and the game does not hint to at all).

However, at least as far as the game is concerned, both choices result in essentially the same outcome. Sorry, but Shinji’s death doesn’t matter (to the game).

#persona 3 #persona 3 portable #p3p #persona 4 #persona 5 #persona series #shinjiro aragaki #akihiko sanada #ken amada #minako arisato #hamuko arisato #kotone shiomi #if you cant tell I'm passionate about this #also saving shinji or not are both valid choices #still wish the game cared though #literally the ??? meme when this happened in my second playthrough #thought to myself did I actually save him or what because they're talking like he's fucking dead #akihiko: oh I'd love to see shinji again #THEN JUST GO SEE HIM HE'S AT THE HOSPITAL

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jess-the-vampire · 3 years

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Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 51

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Sky had to admit, she was impressed with her own magic skill by this point, even if the progress she was making seemed minimal. She never really tried to dip down much, it's not something anyone can just...do after all, it takes time and work. There was probably no way she could do it by the time the plan would come to action but training couldn't hurt either.

Especially if it was to protect a friend.

Even trying to shoot magic from her hands drove sky crazy, how did judas do this so naturally? Guess when you grow up doing magic like this you don't have to go through so much training to get it to work. Sky was half human too, who knows how that might affect her powers even if she did go through mewberty. She kinda felt silly trying to do magic like this, throwing out her hands and shout spells...but it was better then nothing.

Angel could do magic normally, no wand required.

Lucky.

He was getting better, he'd probably been practicing a lot in his spare time, probably to show off to his mom. His aim was far improved and he seemed far stronger at his spellcasting, from what magic he knew . Sky felt she spent more time watching him then making any progress, if even if it was just to get an idea of how to make her magic work a little.

It was probably pointless anyway.

Unlocking that kinda magic required a lot more to trigger it, otherwise sky wouldn't get very far no matter hoe hard she was trying. Strong emotional reactions were surefire, like...how she nearly attacked her mom...and the masked person, and...other happenings. Those were close but not really the results she was looking for either, she was looking for something like angel had.

Where he went berserk...over her getting hurt.

Wow they both had a bad habit of going evil when they ever did unlock this magic huh? That was both scary and...kinda neat in a weird way, though last thing sky needed was to make herself look worse then she did. Angel could tell she was having trouble, though he wasn't judging, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. "Maybe like...try and clear your mind and stuff? I think that's supposed to help, so you can focus?", that might've been more harsh then it needed to be,

But sky didn't seem to care.

"I can try".

She wasn't good at clearing her head, there was always too much going on in her mind for something like that to even happen. Even now, her mind was going back to judas and the plan. It was like a bug that refused to just leave the room, no matter what she wanted. She grumbled as she sat down on the grass, "Ugh, i can't focus, i'm too worried and everything".

She kicked at the dirt underneath her, "It was different last time, i wasn't trying to do anything intentionally, i just got really upset and for a moment...blam...magic. Now...it's not the same, i only had those outbursts because you got in danger or i felt upset...and i can't channel things all the time like that...like...why can't me being happy channel that same power?".

"Well, maybe you're just not feeling that kinda emotional nearly as strongly right now?", he shot out another web, hitting the wall with perfect accuracy now, "I guess maybe training and stuff happening in real time just...don't feel the same way...even i haven't been able to master my own form...so i think it just means...we have a lot channeling to do".

"You've been learning from eclipsa huh?".

"I did at times stay late with her...she...likes my presence and helping me...not that i ever got too far with it. Clearing your head is supposed to help but also...you can focus on a memory with a strong reaction, that can help your magic too sometimes...so...maybe we should do that? Channel strong memories...i mean i don't know if happy ones really will do much for me to control a raging monster but...".

"Angel, that's a good idea, maybe if i do clear my head properly i can like...channel something, maybe, Mom never really explained the process to me, but it's worth a shot".

He smiled, his ears perking up, "Oh, well, glad i can be of some kind of help then! Maybe it'll work a lot better for you then me, i'm still pretty far behind on my own magic" He shot another spell and sky went back to focusing, seeing if she could recover any strong memories to trigger something. She went back to the chandelier incident, reminded of the party and her performance.

It was hard to channel the anger she had when he mother spoke to her the way she did. in fact it was a hard memory to fully recover at all. Maybe she had to go and try and new one to see if she had better results, she had to have other moments. Right, the time angel was nearly killed and that set her off like crazy, that was also a rather insane moment of magic for her.

She hadn't been so full of rage in a long time.

Though she was worried how she'd react to that memory again.

She had to take a moment to chill and breath, holding her hand out before the memory came back to her. She didn't want to accidentally blow up the entire garden if she wasn't careful about her own actions up to this point. Granted, blowing up a wall wasn't exactly a better option but well, she was going to have to take some risks somewhere it seemed.

She felt her cheeks puff up, remembering the pure anger of angel nearly being killed down by some freak.

Angel stepped back, a slight bit of glow in the princess's cheeks, but it quickly faded, the memory was strong but because nothing was happening it didn't appear the have nearly the same strength. Sky sighing, her hand touching her marks, "Well, it's a start...i guess i should be happy we got a reaction at all...i guess that whole thing...really had me upset".

Angel sent a sad smile her way.

"Hey, i'm just glad you cared at all...i'm...i wasn't sure anyone would if things went wrong...i kinda went into the thing knowing there was a good chance i might not make it out alive all things considered...it...was probably a dumb idea when i think more about it".

She snorted in his direction, "Dude, of course we'd care if something happened to you...but...it doesn't seem to be enough to get me to really unlock my abilities...for now...but...i'll take it. At least it's better then nothing.". She sighed before going back to tryin to do more spells with no success, "I'll figure this out...hopefully...if i could just...get a better grip on my emotions...and with enough practice...". She watched angel go back to doing spells, thoughtful, "Hey...thanks for doing this with me...it's really nice".

"Yeah of course...it's not fully for you though, i...wanna be able to protect myself as well, i wasn't very good before...and i don't want to feel vulnerable again, i felt so...powerless when i almost got killed...and i need to keep my strength up". He shot spells at the wall even harder, "I'm glad you're protecting me but i also don't want to feel so weak either...i want to be able to defend myself if anything happens again...want to know i can...take care of myself when i'm a leader".

"I can't blame you on that one, i would do the same if i was in your shoes", her feet scratched the dirt, making a neat little imprint with it," i just hope it doesn't end up feeling like you're protecting me when i should be looking out for you". Angel stopped casting his spells, quick to notice her change in tone, "It shouldn't have to be a one vs another thing...we should be...looking out for each other...all of us".

"But if i don't get better soon, i'll be worthless for the plan".

"Sky, look, maybe this is something better said by jude and everything but...you're more then your magic, you spent a lot of time beating me without knowing much magic at all, you don't need it to do good...even if you don't learn to dip down...i trust you'll do great out there". The princess took a moment before gently pushing him, laughing, "You're right...i did kick your ass pretty good without it".

"Ok but you don't have to remind me of that...", sky snickering as she got back into focusing, "Says the person who kept a whole journal of all the times we fought, you're far more guilty of this then i am". He blushed as she got back in focus, "Maybe if things get bad, i can really taze the guy, that outta pack a punch and they might not even see it coming either".

"Well, i didn't think they'd avoid my bite either but...you know how that went, but i have faith in you princess."

Sky snickered, "Well, i can say this for sure, next time, your teeth won't miss, i'm sure of it". The laughs ringing in the air as sky enjoyed the moment, she really needed this, and angel made sure she got the break and night to make amends she deserved. And for once, sky felt confident maybe she could actually get the hang of this magic thing properly.

She had the support to help at least.

"You ok landon?".

Landon peeked through the window of the carriage at bernard's house, seeing rhombulus parked outside and feeling his whole body shake. "Do i look ready mom? I'm a mess, i should've fixed myself up a lot more, how am i supposed to go in there and be cool with him when i'm sweaty and freaked out?". He raised an arm to display and marco quickly made him move it back down.

"Landon, it's going to be just fine, do like you practiced".

"This is different, he's going to be looking at me and watching me talk, i'm not even sure about how he's going to react, he might just want to be friends and friends only. All that time i spent and thing might get worse between us and we never talk again". Once again marco found themsleves trying to comfort the boy, handing him some water, "you'll be ok, just take it easy".

'I'm sorry mom, it's just...what if i can't do it? i'm worried i can't".

"Landon, it's going to be just fine, i'll be waiting out here if you need me to make a quick getaway ok? But you have to finally face him down, i know you're scared but this time you're going to have to put that to the side and be brave for both you and bernard on this one. He needs this as much as you do, closure, and he won't be able to rest until you both have it".

Landon slumped back, "Guess i just don't want to know what his final answer will be".

"But you know you have to...".

"Yeah...".

"Landon, it's going to be ok, i promise...i know you're nervous, but it's going to be ok, just go in there and do your best. I have plenty of faith that things will work out between you two, you both seemed to care about each other a lot, and i doubt you won't be friends still after this". The demon nodded, his mother comforting him to the best of their ability, his hands gripping each other tight.

His mother kissed his cheek, "Hey, if you need to bail out at any point, i'm here, but i believe in you...ok?". Landon gulped before finally getting out of the carriage, lucky he was even allowed to on on this trip at all. This was not an emergency and everyone was very uncomfortable even going to other dimensions at this point, but marco insisted this was important.

And it was, for landon.

Rhombulus seemed to disapprove of this choice, sneering as the kid got closer, but letting him in anyway.

He was expected after all.

The rest of the commission were inside and the parents of this lovely home seemed more then used to them now. As used as one to get to having three interdimensional gods living in their home. They were eating their snacks, sitting on heir couches, and chilling as if nothing was happening. Guess they had to be a little bored by now, but still, it was a serious job.

Imagine they came back and hey were following asleep like this? And they thought things were bad before.

Landon spotted bernard's mom quickly who ushered him away from the commission members and upstairs without hesitation, "Ok, he's waiting for you up there, let me know if you need anything and please, don't break anything". She didn't seem the happiest to see him but she wasn't mad at him or anything, so that was a little better then what he thought in his head.

But that didn't help his nerves, he could spot bernard's room and took a few steps forward.

He had to be just as nervous as he was...right? He didn't greet him at the door so he was left with a similar impression that was the case. Then the door opened to let him in, a sleep and messy teenage boy waiting for him. Landon feeling his heartbeat rise even faster and want to flee the scene extremely fast, his body forcing itself to stay put so he didn't chicken out.

"Hey landon".

"H-hey...bernard", god why did he have to make himself sound so awkward the moment he saw him again? He swore his voice cracked too, because of course it did.

Bernard didn't look fully dressed, not did he seem to be entirely...himself, which was a warning sign, but they had to get this over with. Landon had to just go over and finish up before he made another bad choice, though bernard looked very cute. He had never seen him like this outside of the sleepover the one time, most of the time he was more...well kept.

Bernard yawned, "Sorry i'm not looking that great, but...i'm happy you came, means a lot to me if you want to come in and well...y'know, do this whole thing". Landon nodded quickly as he entered the messy teenage boy's room, the door shutting behind them. He took a set on the bed as bernard started going into his closet, nervous about who should speak first.

It was uncomfortably silent after all.

Bernard and landon both wanted the other to make the first move instead, as if they were waiting each other out. The silence however, was killing landon and it wouldn't get them anywhere if neither of them even said a word to each other. Landon really felt his stomach churn, just how bad did he screw up that bernard could hardly even look at him right now?

He wasn't used to this from him, the tension was intensely uncomfortable compared to the usual laughing and giggling between the two. He twiddled his fingers together and tried to choke up a word or two, needing to be brave and come out with it. "Hey look, i'm sorry fi i made things uncomfortable between us...i wasn't supposed to even send you that video...it was an accident", was that good? He hoped so.

The human paused, meaning he had heard landon alright.

"Mason pushed the wrong button, it wasn't supposed to head to you like this, i just want us to be friends again ok? I never meant to hurt you or bother you or make things awkward. But i also get it if you don't want to be friends anymore either with me, i know this would make you feel weird and i don't want you to feel weird around me either...it's just...you mean a lot to me".

"How long?".

His voice caught him off guard.

"How long have you liked me?".

Landon froze, stammering, "Since we met actually...i dunno you came up to me and i thought you were...cool, i know that sounds really corny but it's true. You were so cool and i wanted to get to know you and you wanted to get to know me...and i found it...attractive. I mean i didn't notice it at first bit over time it made sense why i was acting this way about you".

Was that good?, it was hard to tell when he wasn't looking at him right now.

"Look, if you want me to leave i will, i know you're upset with me and i don't wanna be some burden on you. You're just...a great person and i'm glad i got to have you as my friend, even if it was just for a little while". He meant that sincerely, he liked having this guy as his friend, and he was going to miss them if they never spoke every again, "You deserve better friends who don't make you go through this kinda stuff anyway".

"Landon...".

"I'm right, you got kidnapped and you could've died because of it, and it was because of me, if you and me weren't friends you would have never had to deal with that happening to you". God, he sounded so pathetic, was this really how he wanted to even handle this in the slightest? He felt himself curl up a little, clenching teeth, "I wanted to tell you how i felt sooner but i was worried what you'd think. I've never confessed to anyone in my life before and i got scared to screw up or say anything"'.

It was hard to tell what bernard was thinking with his back turned, but he was just going to have to keep pushing through this no matter how embarrassing it was. "I just think you're really cool, i like your magic stuff and your attitude, and your confidence...and how you laugh at my jokes and support me...and i'm dead serious about all of it...i never meant to make you feel uncomfortable.".

Bernard finally turned around, a look of surprise on his face.

"Landon...i...you don't make me feel uncomfortable", he suddenly seemed to feel ashamed of his silence this whole time, his shoulders sagging and his expression more sad. "I...i admit, it was overwhelming finding out...i think it's because i well...i've been on dates before...and a lot of them were...mixed". The human took a seat next to landon, his feet dangling off the bed.

"I...y'know, constantly changed myself everywhere we went and i would get confessed to a lot, but it never felt right because i wasn't being myself...i was just trying to fit in. I guess when you confessed i had so many thoughts, like if this was another occurrence of me not being myself and you not liking the real me, or that you did like the real me, to all the times we hung out and i had no idea...i...had a lot going on".

The human eyed his worried friend, before smiling a little, "But...i'm not mad at you for any of this, none of this was your fault. You had no idea anything like this would happen and it's ok, i'm not mad at you at all. My parents might have some issues, but i don't...because it wasn't your fault that happened. Landon, i'm still processing everything but i'm not mad at you".

"You aren't?".

"Of course not, i just...have a lot to think about with all of this, i'm a little overwhelmed but i'm not mad at you landon. I just need a lot of time to really think on things, if that's ok...". Landon seemed relieved, his face suddenly becoming far happier then he meant for it to, "Yeah, yeah of course! You can take all the time you need if you want, no pressure or anything, you can uh...get back to me when you're ready".

He laughed and landon felt himself turn deep red.

"Yeah of course, when i'm ready, i don't want to leave you hanging or anything...", the human noticed landons face an poked at it charmingly. "I have to admit...it's...a little flattering that you...feel this way about me. I've just never been complimented this much before , or had anyone write a song for me before for that matter, it's actually sweet".

"You find it sweet?".

"Yeah well...it's really good and i can tell you put a lot of hard work into it, it's...nice that i...inspire you like that". I never saw myself having a song about me, always thought the only way something like that would happen was if i won some dumb contest or something. I...i'm sorry you didn't get me to see it under different conditions, i know this was not how you wanted me to...experience it".

"Well...i'm sorry i was acting so weird for awhile towards you...it was a lot more obvious then i thought originally. You...you were worried about me and you had every right to worry about me...everything just got so complicated and i had a hard time trying to figure out what was the best way to handle it. I guess i should've tried to handle it sooner, to avoid this from happening."

"Hey, i'm not great at this stuff either, i might never have caught on without the video. Heh, it took me a few minutes to click as the music started playing that you were going for...y'know, You...play really well landon". He blushed, trying to hide his face as much as possible as he turned away from the cute boy, "Yeah well, i do play it almost all the time".

"It pays off, at least you might get to make it into a career, my parents still are on the fence about magic".

The way he said it seemed to make landon's heart crack just a little

"I'm sorry to hear that...i well, i was really hoping they'd change their minds about it and stuff...you should be allowed to do the hobbies you like, like you're really good at them too, you were able to escape your handcuffs because of magic! It's...amazing...how you were able to actually do that, they don't appreciate enough of your skills, you're...amazing".

He felt himself blushing again and quickly coughed, "Oh right, sorry, this might be making your more uncomfortable".

But bernard laughed, "It's ok, i'm just glad someone cares, i feel sometimes like...no one really does, i've just...wanted someone around who likes what i like and doesn't make fun of it". He sighed, rubbing his hair, "I escaped my cell through magic, that's...impressive, i never knew i'd need to and magic helped me do it, i was just hoping for better i guess from my parents".

The prince watching him sadly, letting out another deep sigh.

"I wanted to confess to you that day...the day you were kidnapped...i know it doesn't matter now but i did, and then when things went wrong i changed my mind because you had enough going on to worry about me. After you got kidnapped and hurt and everything, there was no way we could talk about it, i knew it was a bad idea. I'm sorry things got so bad that you were worried about me like that".

"Landon, it's ok".

"No, it's not".

"No, it is...i'm sure, it was complicated. I...i got kidnapped, and you just wanted me to take the time to recover before unloading this on me, it's not a bad thing. Truth be told, i was terrified down there, i didn't know if I'd make it out alive or not, for a few moments i really thought i might not. But...you helped find me, and...that's important, your confession could wait...".

"But...then i started acting weird...and your texts".

"Landon, of course i was worried about you, we're friends...if you needed space it's ok, you can also just well...text me if you need a break for a bit. I only got worried cause i care about you...but if you need space...it's ok. I didn't really know you were going through so much emotional turmoil because of me and everything, i should have suspected though. I guess i've been so distracted i never even considered you were acting this way because you might of liked me a little more then being just friends, but...i'm glad it's out in the open now".

"You really still wanna be friends?".

"Dude, yeah, of course i do...i'll need some time to process the whole...crush thing, but...it doesn't make me wanna not be your friend. It'll take some getting used to but i like being your friend. I like us hanging out, and i like having someone around who respects my hobbies and interests and shows me all kinda of things i'd never see in a million years. You're a really cool person landon, i like being with you...i don't want us to stop being friends because of this".

Landon felt himself blush and heart beat a bit faster, it was worse that he knew what he was doing to him.

"W-well, i like having you around to like my hobbies and stuff too...yeah".

The human laughed, "I'm sorry for being such a drag and everything this morning, i got to admit, i just have a lot of bad experiences dating...and dealing with crushes. I guess for me it brought back some memories...but i won't bother you with them in detail or anything. Because i think you're different landon, i really think you care about me and everything".

Landon clutched his head in his hands and grumbled, still blushing, "And i was thinking you'd hate me and everything after what happened for a little while...cause...i just didn't...i didn't want to make you uncomfortable". He shifted in his seat before pinching his nose in frustration, "I should have at least told you i needed some time tho...i didn't meant to worry you-".

"No no like i said i-".

Landon turned around, only to realize he might of gotten just a LITTLE too close to bernard's face, making him jolt back quickly. Even bernard cut off his sentence at the action, "Well, uh anyways...glad we talked about this. So well, i guess if you need anything or want to stay for a while...i'll convince my parents to do it, hopefully. They're getting used to your friends down there".

"They aren't exactly our friends, but thank you...we haven't really gotten to hang out properly since...it happened. I was worried about even asking since...well, your parents...they must hate me for what happened with you. Even if you forgive me, i am still the reason they lost you to begin with, and they were terrified...your house got bugged and-".

"Landon, please, don't worry about them, they're always like that. They panic about everything, it's why they're like this about my magic, they're desperate to be good parents and well...make me some perfect kid. I mean i'm obviously not one but they want me to be one. Point being it's ok, don't worry and freak out, they're always like this anyway and i think they'll live with it".

He was doing it again.

"I'm sorry".

"Hey look, let's go down and take a break...your mom's outside right? How about you let them know and we can just...have some time together for a little bit? Some not awkward time together, we can hang in my room for today if you want and we could...properly catch up, if that's ok?". That sounded great, landon finally getting himself to relax as he pulled out his compact.

"Thanks".

"So this is it huh?".

She was looking at the broken wand with extreme curiosity, star watching her very closely as she examined it. She was giving luna the chance to make things up and be trusted but that didn't meant she was just cool handing sky's want over to just anyone. Luna was still on the fence these days to everyone and the wand was in bad enough condition.

"Yeah that's it alright".

"It's in better condition then i was expecting it to be in when i heard it broke, i'll give it this...but yeah, it needs a good repair. I must admit though, wands are hard to crack, this thing must've been hit with a powerful spell. But at least it's fixable, you might just need an expert on this one, though you're not going to like who i suggest to help you with it...".

Star grumbled, knowing where this was going.

"Mom, right?".

"She'd know if anyone.".

"Of course she would, i had a bad feeling you were going to mention i'd need her help, "But fine, whatever, is there anything else you want to let me know about? You and eclipsa were going off about a gem or something?". She was starting to get a little pouty and the less she focused on her mom the better, "Well, me and eclipsa weren't idiots, sky has a rare opal on her wand...you can see the multiverse in it if you look close enough".'

"Rare?".

"Yeah, omni owns these things, never been on a wand before...i think".

That even seemed so surprise star, guess there were things the commission still weren't fully being honest about with her. Luna didn't seem as phased by it though, looking through it curiously, "I'll be honest, i don't really think sky is responsible for taking us here...she...has no reason to and she's not knowledgeable enough to do it even on accident, but...knowing this is on her wand...it's...probably not a coincidence".

"What exactly do you mean by that?".

"C'mon now mom, a magic wand that combusted before we came here? And it just so happens to have a gemstone like this? Even if it wasn't sky it certaintly makes the most sense to be her, the problem is she doesn't know a spell that could do this...so i have to imagine what might of actually happened was we got dragged out of our own dimensions, and got pulled through her crystal into yours".

"Actually...that...kinda makes sense", the queen mumbled, folding her arms together, "But like, you all unwillingly were pulled...right? So someone had to have done this to you, unless this is omni's doing". The person in question had to have knowledge and access to the multiverse in order to even do this and pull it off, and there wasn't a high suspect list.

"No, i don't think it's omni, if the commission were behind it they would've acted upon whatever they wanted us for...not...be as useless as they are now. Before were suspected them but after this much time, well, we don't trust them but we don't think it is them either. It's only so baffling because we're out of many other options, and i've never seen this happen before".

"Well there has to be SOMEONE who can do it".

"I know but, no one here matches well...", then she seemed to think of something, before shutting it down, "No no, that could work but that's far more absurd, we need something more within the lines of reason". Star blinked at luna as she held her hand up to keep star from asking further on the matter, ".We'll start with a list of the main suspects and work from there".

"Luna, we went through the main suspects, there is no one else".

"Have you checked meteora or moon yet?", luna asked skeptically, her suggestion catching the queen off guard, she hadn't really gone into either of them had she? But it was for good reason. "Meteora was doing tasks, she has it on record and my mom...my mom has no reason to even bother doing something like this, where's your proof on that one?".

"You heard me, limited other options".

"Still, my mom would never do something like this...maybe in your word she would but not here...right?".

"You tell me, maybe she would, maybe she wouldn't. I just know she's a suspect and since she's been absent from everything before this point she doesn't have nearly as much of an alibi, even with grandpa...you know how easily distracted he gets". She wasn't wrong, moon could manage it if she were behind it, but there was also no reason for her mother to do this...and she would never attempt to kill a child either.

Even if that child had previous outbrusts about their family.

"i don't believe it but it'll keep it in mind, but frankly...we need a better list, none of these people seem to have anything to do with it", she sent luna a look of worry, "Luna, i think whoever did this is not from mewni, as silly as that is, a disappointment, i know...i think we all thought it had to be family...but it's not". Luna hated to admit it, but she had to agree with the idea, it probably was something else.

"I don't fully agree but i don't fully disagree either, i've heard worse. But learning that kinda magic takes years of proactive. Not to mention accessing the commission tower, it leaves me uneasy, we could pass by this guy on the way to work. Can you imagine how i feel possibly knowing who this is, for them to be a friend of mine only for them to do al of this?".

If luna did she wasn't showing it well.

"You have to know how much that hurts and messes with all of us, we don't just ignore these ideas because we don't buy into them. But if you're right how do we even begin to react? This whole thing has gotten under all of our skin and there's no way we can just forgive and forget if it turns out to be one of us. You don't know who it is, so it's much easier to-".

"Ok, sorry i tried to help, i didn't say it to be rude or anything, it was just an idea"., luna sat back and crossed her arms, putting her feet up nearby. "I do this all the time back home, i catch criminals all the time back home so it's kinda important for me to do stuff like this and try and make a profile of some kind, that way you could spot them even unmasked".

"You scare me with the fact you can spot bad people by just looking at them, i hope me in your world learns to get a grip because you're lucky to not be dead going through all of this", luna snickered, "You're not entirely wrong, i am lucky, but i'm also hard working, so that's another reason i've lived so long, i rarely ever get caught with my talent".

"Is that so? Is that why you're prisoner now?".

Luna's smile was quickly wiped from her face.

"Thought so...but hey, you did say rarely, so this has happened to you before. And you're still here now, so i guess that still says something about you and getting out of stuff like this. I rarely could get myself out of situations without a little help, even if i was a tough fighter. Even now sky usually needs judas to help her out, but thankfully she's never really been kidnapped either".

"I had to learn to do things myself, if...either of you had died the crown would go to me, and if i couldn't take care of myself i was doomed to end up the same way. If you thought i would allow myself to ever be put in that position you were sorely mistaken, I wanted to be a strong queen, stronger then anyone before me...and avoid all the mistakes the others made".

"Like solaria?"

Luna was quiet, "Yeah, especially her, there's...some things about her past i prefer not to repeat, you're honestly lucky in this universe.". The queen jolted her head to luna at that, her face skeptic, "Wait, what do you mean by that? How are we lucky? She still caused massive devastation and we're still recovering from everything she's done, we're not lucky".

The lighter blonde hummed, her fingers twirling the rim of a teacup.

"I...was shocked when i saw angel for the first time, i never really explained why but...it's...well, because his kingdom doesn't exist back home. Or at least not anymore, it's ruins where i live". Star didn't seem to like where this conversation was going but luna continued, "I never got to meet his kind before now, i just knew about what they once were, and well...stories from you".

"From...me?".

"Solaria caused the devastation, but you...you were the one to hit the mark that started everything back home, and it all started with their kingdom. If things hadn't escalated, i might not be the same person anymore. But...it is what it is...it's just worth mentioning that while solaria here might still be quite the queen, you should be lucky you didn't end up with a worse version of her".

"I'll be honest...i'm surprised how much you don't like her, sorry if it sounds rude but i was expecting...you to like...something about her".

Luna shot star back a dirty look, "Outside of her determination to help her people and power there's not much to admire, what she did led to issues we're still solving today, and as far as i'm concerned that does not make you a good queen. You are not a good queen if people remember you for reasons of hatred, i should not be having to fix her messes 800 years later".

Ok so yeah, she really didn't like the old queen herself, even if related to her.

"Sorry for bringing it up then, it was worth asking".

Luna sat back on the bed, spreading out her arms, "It's a lot of stress trying to be a good queen back home, you want to be unique bit you also want to be strong and something to be proud of. It's...a flawed system, always has been a very flawed system. The kind of pressure it puts on everyone is...well it's something alright, not much better in war time".

"I put a lot of high expectation on sky...", the queen laid back, sighing to herself, having to agree with luna. "I know i did, i don't know why it happened, it just did, and i know it really upset her...even though...i just want her to do well. I want her to do well on her own as queen someday and i dunno, i'm never sure what to do, less freedom, too much freedom...i learned from too much freedom.".

"Well based on what i've seen you didn't do much as far as training her by the looks of it, she could barely hold her wand right!".

Luna really has a way of making people feel bad about themselves.

"She really had a hard time preforming magic, i egged her on so bad the ceiling came down", great, she was back to being mad at herself. She could've prevented this so much sooner if she had just...done things so much differently. Maybe sky wouldn't have been accused of crimes, or had even been in danger at all. A little danger was expected out here but not...so often.

Not like this.

"Luna, considering what i know about me from...your world, i'm not coming to you for parental advice. But...i think at the very least i have a better idea of what i need to improve on if i don't want us to end up like me and my mother right now.", she probably could've phrased that far better then she did but luna got the point. "It's been so long...i forget what it was like".

"Well now that moon is stuck here you're probably being reminded of it more then ever, as far as i can tell, nothing has changed about here...i hear enough through everyone else at this point that i'm glad i barely have to talk to her outside of the occasion. Back home grandma and i didn't agree on many things either, it's a lot messier between all three of us in that castle.".

"Luna, your dimension sounds...awful, for the record, not sure if that's what you were going for but, it sounds awful. I'm surprise you even want to go back after everything", she didn't exactly mean for it to sound so rude, it was clear why luna wanted to go back and that going back mattered to her. But it seemed there was little back home that was actually...well, to look forward to besides seeing her family again.

She almost wished luna could stay, not go back to a world like that.

Such an unpleasant world to grow up in.

"Honestly, sometimes i think that too, but i know it's what i want to do...i wouldn't just leave them. And...i won't leave them now especially, it's clear what seems to happen when i make choices to leave people behind, i get myself in more trouble". She motioned to her room, "I can't stay here, you know that and i know that, we have places we need to be and people who need us, we don't belong here".

"Luna, i don't know all of you that well, but i think all of you do belong here, not permanently, i know you all have families to return to...but well...i think being here has...helped you all, to some extent, maybe more then you could ever really get back home". That made luna pause, laying back on her bed, "I guess you really could say that,...i don't think people will even really...recognize me fully when i get back, maybe, it depends how long i've been gone for them...they might not even remember what i was like before i left all of them".

"I'm sorry you've all been gone so long".

"You say that like we didn't lie to your face for months about who we were this entire time, it's not your fault. We insisted on not coming to you for help, and our lack of progress is partially more our fault...and circumstance". She took a deep breath, "I tend not to ask people for help if i can avoid it, and i was aggressive about us staying hidden, and it worked for a while but...it was never going to work forever, there was too many of us, someone was bound to find out".

"Well, you had me fooled, for a good while, though i guess in retrospect the fact you were that good at fighting should've been some kind of red flag, no one who goes into knight training even comes in so perfect. Even on mewni where you could die at any minute, you would've been a good knight if you had been from this dimension though, though heh...oh wow, we assigned you under jackie".

"You can imagine how that went for me".

"Well, i guess it's hard for me to really say, i guess at least in the end you got to spend some good time with us even if we aren't technically your family. I can only hope that talking to us provided you some comfort, maybe. I think...if i was trapped somewhere else, just seeing my mom's face would really help. I...i got really upset when she vanished, after meteora".

Luna paused, letting the thought ponder for a bit.

"You don't hate your mom as much as you want to, she gives you grief and isn't making the situation any better for you...but i can tell that to an extent you're glad she's here. Someone to give you advice...and help you. She's not amazing by any means but i can tell you're glad she's here to help in this crazy situation, even if her help isn't really helping.".

"I've been on my own with the throne for a while...so i dunno, maybe i just miss her", star sunk in her seat, "I nmeed to stop venting, that's not what this meeting was about, it was about the wand, i'm just dealing with a lot of emotions right now. I've never really...confided in someone about this, well, someone who isn't my wife or my best friend at least".

The queen stood up, "I'm trying to handle this stuff on my own without help, but i guess i wouldn't be taking my own advice if i kept doing that, especially when help is coming right to my doorstep to help me on stuff like this. I'll...go talk to mom soon after this, we can come to some kinda agreement on the plan , and maybe work things out properly".

She held out her hand, "The wand, i better head out and i'm not leaving it here with you, no offence." Luna handed it over without any hesitation on her part, star pocketing it, "But...i'll admit, it was nice talking to you, even if i fully don't get why, i can see why eclipsa likes you, she tends to love the kinda people she can soften up from their cold dark hearts".

Luna pouted at that but accepted it anyway, "Well, just update the others and make sure...they're ok, especially judas, i worry about him...a lot. So if you could check up on him and make sure he's alright, i at least would like that". The queen understood, holding the door open playfully. "Cya later prisoner, don't hurt yourself too much in here...ok?".

Like luna could ever get herself that hurt down here? but the thought of it all was rather nice. Better then the other times she was taken hostage, most of those guys were hesitant to even give her food. No one wanted to fight luna when she was at her fully power, no one could even be prepared for it. Luna was the kinda person who could bite your hand off even without any sharp teeth whatsoever.

and no one was gonna test that theory, no one

A few days later, marco found themselves back to work on the plan, landon in a far better mood then he had been, texting his crush in the nearby corner as marco went over their ideas with the rest of the team.

"Alright, we can eliminate that one.", marco said, crossing off yet another idea they considered in their mission. Honestly it was impressive how smart these kids where when it came, ideas like this but it should've been expected. Having some people to bounce ideas off was a brilliant idea and they were all so excited too. Galexia was the most excited actually, she loved talking about her ideas and drawings to with people.

In fact this was the most comfortable anyone had ever seen her at all, period.

Her drawings even made marco laugh at random.

She beamed though, she seemed to like the reaction she was getting out of the queen, in fact she seemed to like the adults in general a lot more then others, I guess considering she grew up with a lot of them that was fair. But every other teen had at least some minor issues with the adults, and yet galeixa was more then happy to spill them everything and talk.

She was so smart it was crazy, her ideas never always made sense but no one really seemed to care that much either. Galexia has been paying attention, that was for sure, she had an ungodly amount of drawings just based on the plan. Some were of the plan itself and others were of them failing the plan, which was no something anyone wanted to see right now. But last there was a plan and it's on it's way guys to getting better.

"Maybe we can hide weapons in my dress", sunny suggested, "I've done it before, just in case anything bad happens and i lose my wand, i wanna be able to protect myself, even without magic". Honestly marco wanted to question why someone as young as her reallly needed so many weapons but maybe it was best just to not provoke it right now for them.

"I think the plan i went with might be out best bet, but these ae some good ideas. Just don't suggest anything too dangerous, i don't wanna put you guys at too much of a risk. I mean i know you guys get into this kinda stuff often but you know what i meant. This is still something we need to be careful with, sorry, safety is always my priority when doing anything with my kids".

"Your kids?".

They never meant for it to come out like that, but i guess upon closest inspection, they seemed to be their parental figure now, it was like marco had adopted a bunch of new kids out of complete nowhere. "Sorry sorry, didn't mean to make it found like...nevermind, i'm just impressed your all of your ideas. But i think in the end our next option is gpnna have to be mind, found good?'

"You even sure it's going to work?", landon asked, huffing at his parent, "Landon, no I'll be honest i'm not, but if we prepare enough for what we may handle when it happens we can prepare for anything with this guy". It was about being flexible and covering any hole, it was all or nothing in this situation and leaving cracks open was the last thing anyone wanted to do.

this entire plan was to be a big trap, a trap is useless if it can be escaped.

With their kids already being in danger enough times throughout this marco had to step up, there was no way they were letting any more kids be put in serious danger, and they were already taking a risk in letting angel even be some form of bait. Marco had to be smart about this, they could run this over several more times to get every nook and cranny.

If they could they'd booby trap the whole castle, they would.

But then that'd risk the safety of everyone else inside, and being trapped in with the crazy person was also a bad idea.

So if they were lucky, the plan would work first go, and they'd not even have to worry about these plan bs or cs. It was just a bit unpredictable where this was going to go, they had been fooled before and if this plan even got out then all of this would be for nothing. For all they knew they'd posses someone else to go in their place and escape them once again.

The mind control aspect really bothered marco.

what if they used it on one of them? That was a thought marco didn't want to consider, especially if it hit him or tom, they'd be powerful and they could really hurt someone if they were made to do so. Marco considered making charms for everyone, perhaps they could attach them to their outfits, not anywhere that they could be seen of course but still.

Then they could be protected at least from that.

Marco made a mental note to tell sky later.

"Ok, so we seem to have somewhat of a good plan going, thanks to judas we have an idea of how the party is going to look, So that outta help immensely when it comes to here to put everyone for this plan. We can keep most of you safe and catch them without anyone at harm, and if this works well then we'll finally be free. You'll all just have to stick to your roles and-".

Landon raised his hand.

"Roles? What?".

"Landon, the party is being used mostly as a front, therefore you have to pretend like nothing is wrong the entire time. If we aren't acting natural they're going to catch on very quick to something happening", landon sunk in his seat, "Right right, but like...won't it be more suspicious if we aren't on edge at least a little the whole night, they're not stupid...i think".

"We can do our best landon".

Landon didn't exactly like this idea, who knew what could happen like this? But marco was right, they were just going to have to be careful, and maybe stay wary of who they talked to. They didn't want to let this person in on any secrets they shouldn't know about, but hopefully they'd be fine. this meeting seemed very effective, marco was going to have star to talk to star about it and-

"Thanks for helping us!", sunny piped up, "And...thanks, we're happy to be considered your kids...", she blushed and marco smiled. "You guys...haven't really had a proper parental figure since you got stuck here, we assumed you were here because your parents let you be here...and we're no substitute for your actual parents but...i hope we can at least help in the meantime."

"You're doing great i promise!", sunny was always so positive, it was surprising how through all of this she still kept a smile on her face. "It's been super nice getting to spend so much time with you, i think we all feel a little at home here. We've lived here so long i guess it's become a second home to us...while also kinda being our home already as well".

Marco bit their lips, thinking of something.

"When we send you home, are we sure you can even come back?'.

They never had to consider it much before this point but now was as good a time as ever to really think about it. Sunny wasn't just a girl from another world, but she was a friend to mason, their youngest son, not to mention friends with everyone else too. They'd well, be sad if they never say any of them again and well, it was an idea that was thought about and could not be helped.

"Sky thought the same thing and she thought, well, we might figure something else out so...we're trying not to think about it too hard y'know? Don't want to get everyone upset right?". Her voice didn't sound like she was too happy about it though, sunny sounding like she almost wanted to hold back from some crying of her own about the matter. At least, it sounded like it.

Losing everyone else must have broken her heart to think about too.

"Sunny i promise we'll all stay together somehow...ok? i don't want to see any of you separated forever either, mason's never been so happy in his life/ He likes having more friends to spend time with, and of course, you all have grown very close. It'd be a burden to separate you, i promise we won't let this all be forever, you'll all see each other again".

Sunny looked over to lexi, who was still drawing by herself, smiling and ignoring most of the world around her.

"I guess i keep worrying about that, even though i try not to...", she admitted, "I'm supposed to be the positive one here, keeping everyone up and happy but...sometimes, i feel sad...thinking about this stuff. i'm going to miss you guys...i really am, i just got used to having sisters and new brothers and saying goodbye, to all of this, it's going to be hard...".

"Well, we'll try and make your last days here the best they can be then, just in case getting back in contact is...hard. You girls at least deserve a few last nights stress free before going home...it's not much, but you all deserve it after everything you've been through. You can even bring some things back home with you if you want to, memories and stuff".

"My parents probably think i've been kidnapped or something".

Yeah, yeah they would, heck knows if this happened to any of their sons marco would feel the same way by now, if they didn't think they died or something. The worry that had to be on their faces must be devastating. Sunny must think about it a lot, especially since she had a little brother back home she loved and had to live without her for so long.

"Don't worry about the now, think about how happy they'll be to see you again", marco said gently, "That's what matters here, getting you home to see them, they'll be thrilled and delighted. I know being away is scary but, it won't be permanent. We will make sure you get home, even if it takes years, don't give up on us ok? We won't let you feel abandoned."

Landon a little way a ways, turned his head away.

"Years, mom you know we can't do that, someone is going to find out eventually".

"I know lardon, but that's no reason to not try. We're going to have to help and not stil and cower even if someone is after them. These girls need to go and everything, the longer they stay here who knows what could happen, it's better they get home as soon as they can before anything worse happens to them. But we need to catch them first, free their names".

"You've been meeting with them right, how badly do people think sky or luna did it?".

Marco tensed up, feeling their shoulders stiffen as they looked for the best works, "Well since that day it's already been a mixed bag, but it hasn't gotten worse if you're looking for good news, i don't think people have gotten stronger on it. Luna must've kicked out a lot of the previous ideas they had which is both good and very bad all things considered".

"Figures as much, we better watch out".

"Oh don't doubt you will, no one feels safe".

"Hey...i hate to ask but, what happens to luna...if this all fails? We're delaying the trail but...there's no way we can defend her if we don't catch the real culprit and...what are they gonna do to her?", the question hit marco like a punch to the gut. They had been avoiding that answer entirely because they knew the answer and didn't want to worry the kids.

Sky was royalty, at worst if she had been convicted she'd lose her right to the throne and her wand.

But luna on the other hand, and with her true identity not known to anyone outside of their ground.

She wasn't nearly as safe.

Around here she was just seem as another citizen, she had no protections outside of perhaps the words of jackie and the royal family to protect her. But even that had a chance of not mattering, because a royal family can trust the wrong people. There was a chance of luna ending up in a BAD situation if they didn't do something soon and the thought was dreadful.

She already had a family back home waiting for her but if they never saw her again due to something like...like being frozen, that'd be even worse.

"We won't let that happen, we'll make sure of it. Even if...things get really bad", Marco was quick to change the subject, going through their papers and papers of plans and ideas. "I'm going to run these by tom and his parents, we need approval for some of these traps within the castle. We're already building up the ballroom for the event and the sooner we have a head start the better".

Landon stood up, ready to head out and join their mother as marco stopped in their tracks and turned again to sunny, "Remember, don't forget the stakeout soon, get some rest and practice your lines...oh...and keep sky updated. She's spending a lot of time with angel and i don't want her to forget about her role, though...it's great seeing her a lot happier...".

"You got it! Uh...thanks for everything", marco smiled at her as landon followed them out, Landon examining the mask and outfit sunny had given him in his arms. It was fitted for him by sky, but he still wasn't sure about it. At least he wasn't doing any of the actual acting or anything, all he has to do was dress up and play music, nothing more, nothing less.

He just needed to be careful.

Not just because of him being a prince, he's just...nearly gotten into fights in there now and if a fight broke out things would not end well, the place was quite on most days but who knows who might head inside on a more ruely day. Demons could be nice people, but they were violent too, and it was always best to keep your watch on them, so landon just hoped this idea was a bust and nothing happened.

It probably would be.

It was that idea alone that was enough to relax him.

Because of his magical abilities he got a little anxious about using his violin at all in case of well, what happened last time, but it would probably be ok as long as he didn't try to do that song again. Besides, he was barely getting results as is, and he wasn't using a wand violin. He needed to chill out, the worst thing to worry about were his nerves at playing in front of people.

Just thinking about it was making his stomach turn, or maybe that was just his guilt at not telling his mother about what he'd been doing.

they knew he knew they did, so why was it so hard to just say something about it?

Marco walked alongside the demon as they made it finally to the nearest bathroom to change and try on the clothes and see how well they worked in case sky needed to fix anything. Marco hadn't said anything yet and he felt their silence was their way of trying to get them to talk. They had done this before when they were really mad after all and landon was feeling the sting of it now.

He went inside to change, not saying anything.

He was so happy everything with bernard was a lot better, not perfect, but better. The entire scare had left him feeing broken for a while and the fact he was still getting texts was a relief in his mind, even if things were still awkward. He felt as if he were walking on eggshells, but he knew this was on him, there was no one else to blame for this then him.

He should say something, marco would go easy on him and he knew it, he just...felt guilty.

How many times was he gonna keep going behind everyone's backs and getting caught? He wasn't sure why he was like this? Maybe he just had a hard time admitting he wanted help? He wasn't a very social person and people knew that, he tended to handle things along when he had the chance and only his mom was ever someone he went to for serious help.

Guess that was bound to kick him in the butt eventually, screw his awkwardness.

He tried on the costume and moved in front of the mirror, sighing to himself, and putting in the mask. It fit well, sky had no business being so good at all of this honestly, she was far more talented then people gave her credit for. Landon just wished he wasn't in some kinda rut right now and could feel a lot better about it. Staring at himself in the mirror before looking to the bathroom door.

He was going to have to suck it up and confront this wasn't he? If he didn't he wouldn't be able to focus and he might get himself into another situation all over again. He did deal with bernard and that went well right? Him trying magic can't be too bad, especially since nothing came of it or anything, why was he panicking over him doing something so minor?

"Landon? You ok in there?".

He took some deep breaths before splashing water on his face, "Yeah mom, i'm coming out in a minute".

He finally pulled himself together, sighing as he opened the door to face his mother, "Mom, i...want to talk to you...about something?". But he was stopped in his tracks, his mom looking at him softly in his outfit, making him blush. "Hijo, you look so grown up...i'm...honestly happy to see you so...open and out there. Look at you opening up and making friends and talking to your crushes.".

"Mom...".

Were they...crying?

They looked like they were crying and landon was hit with a new wave of emotions.

"Sorry, i just...judas is hitting his coronation, mason is hitting puberty and...you're changing a lot too...it's...overwhelming", they wiped at their face, "Didn't mean to start crying or anything, i'm just...so proud...and...you're all so grown up". Landon rubbed at his arms, still blushing hard and having a hard time looking their mom in the eyes, he wasn't expecting this...but...it shouldn't stop him either.

"Mom...you're...right".

Marco looked at them confused at first, right about them making friends and talking to crushes? Landon knowing he needed to clarify more.

"I have been semi-lying...to you, i...when the text incident happened...it was because i was doing magic...not demon magic. I...i realized my violin, i can do spells with it if i really concentrated, it's not the same as a wand but i think i'm the one channeling it, and...i tried to practice it behind your back. I'm really sorry, it just meant so much to me to learn magic and everything and you guys were saying no and-".

"Landon it's ok", they reassured, putting a hand on their shoulder.

"I'm...just happy you told me...instead of me having to find out the hard way.", he felt so much more warm inside hearing that, they really weren't that mad at him for not doing what they were supposed to? Well they were probably a little mad, but not as mad as he was expecting after all the other stuff he had done up to this point. The human sighing.

"We'll work something out...later, for now you're grounded, just for a few days tho."

Yeah, that was expected, but he was glad it wasn't for much longer.

"I'm glad you aren't hurt though, it's easy to get hurt doing magic like that...there's a reason the wand exists...", the pondered for a moment, biting their lips, "We have enough on our plate right now...but...when we get this resolved, i'll make sure to help you learn it. We may have to ask to borrow sky's wand...when it's fixed, but...i'll make sure you figure out this scary part of yourself...".

"D-did you have to use the wand to...to also learn all of this?".

They nodded, "Yeah, it didn't matter at the time because sky wasn't around to use it and star didn't need to anymore...so it gave me the chance to learn so i could well...y'know, do what i do now". As an example, marco cast a small red orb in his hand, "It's not the same as her magic...but, i like to think of it as something new that we can do...discovery and everything. I have to admit, i'm...happy i'm not the only one with it, it's nice being able to have someone else who understands and finds it just as weird".

"I'm still sorry, i shouldn't have lied...".

"If it helps, i wasn't dead honest about my powers to star at first either...it...took me a while before i could talk about it, There was a lot going on at the time and i was just trying to be a good friend". Landon felt a hand grip his shoulder, "I need to also be better for you, a better example for you...but, i think we're both making some progress, and...i'm happy for that".

He had to agree, "I guess...a little progress is better then nothing, right?".

They smiled.

"C'mon, let's change out of that and take a break, if it's ok, i'd like to watch you play. Get you less nervous to perform. It's a way to be there for you, and still help with the plans...unless you don't want me to?". But Landon shook their head, "No, i...i think i'd like that actually, please?". He didn't mean to sound so...needy, but marco seemed more then happy with it.

"Then it's settled, c'mon, i think i need a break too".

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #sky and the forces of the multiverse #marco diaz #marco #janstar bby #tomstar bby #ostar bby #starkie bby #tomco bby #fanfiction #my art

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avengerscompound · 3 years

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The Surrogate - Chapter 19

The Surrogate: A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count: 1854

Rating: E

Warnings: Pregnancy, pregnancy complications, medical procedures, labor

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people. When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want. Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 19

Time seemed to pass in a blur of sedation and panic. You were kept in the medbay the whole time with the baby being monitored as well as keeping you sedated enough to sleep and keep your powers working. It was foggy and confusing but you knew that regardless of how much time passed, Natasha stuck by your side. She slept either pressed up against you, squeezed into your hospital bed, or sitting up in the chair beside it. She ate her meals with you, sharing the tray table. She only left your side to use the bathroom, take a shower, or to have hurried conversations in the hall with medical staff or members of the Avengers team.

You knew a little about what was going on with Clint. You knew that Kate and her team had found a trail. You knew they were sure he was alive, you knew they thought they were close, yet every day he didn’t come home, you felt less sure that he ever would.

The doctors were concerned about you and the baby. You hadn’t reached what they called full-term yet, but you were close enough that they were sure she’d be fine if you were induced or had a c-section now, but no one was sure how they could do that. If you were sedated or unconscious your powers worked fine, but as soon as you started to become fully aware of what was going on, they started going haywire again.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been in the medbay when Tony came in to talk to Natasha. Normally she’d leave the room so as not to worry you but she must have thought you were deeper asleep than you were because as soon as the door opened she started to talk.

“Any news?” She asked.

“They got him,” Tony said. Natasha moved beside you and knocked over something over which startled you just enough to make you realize what Tony had said.

“They did? Is he… are they?” Natasha babbled.

“Easy now, Red,” Tony said. “No need to smash up the place. They’re headed back now. Should be here in six hours. The little hawk’s words were; ‘he’s beaten up, but not more than usual’. He was naked too, but what else is new?”

“Oh my god, Tony,” Natasha sighed. “I was so prepared for the worst.”

“With Clint? He’s like a cockroach,” Tony said.

The machines started beeping as you tried to struggle awake, wanting to engage with them about Clint coming home. You forced your eyes open and struggled to sit up as all around you machines started to alarm.

“Dorogáya,” Natasha soothed. “Relax. You need to stay calm.”

“Clint…”

The word came out at barely a whisper and hurt your throat when you forced it.

“He’s okay. He’s coming back and everything’s going to be fine,” Natasha said, as nurses and medical staff entered the room and started to poke around you. “Just relax, my darling.”

“But...”

A sharp pain ran around your side to your back and you groaned and doubled over. “What is it?” Natasha asked, sounding alarmed. “What’s going on?”

The doctors started feeling your sides and with some gentle words and manipulation, they coaxed you into a position to check on the babies. “The baby looks fine,” Jake said and pricked your finger. “And her powers are working.” He flashed a small light into your eyes. “Do you have pain?”

You squinted at the light and winced. “In my side,” you rasped.

“Let me just check if you’re showing any other signs of labor,” he said, moving down to the foot of the bed. “It’s probably just from trying to move too fast after being still for so long.”

You pulled your knees up and spread your legs as he moved between them and started to give you a pelvic exam. There was a soft pop and a gush of liquid and Jake jumped back in shock. “Well, I guess that answers that question. You’re in labor.”

“But it’s too early,” Natasha argued. “She’s not due for four weeks.”

“It’s a bit of a relief actually,” Jake said. “We’ve been trying to figure out how to induce since she fainted. Keeping her sedated for this long was hardly ideal. We’re going to let the sedation wear off and hopefully, she’ll be born naturally.”

“Clint…” you said. “He should be here.”

“My love,” Natasha soothed. “Just worry about you right now.”

“Hey,” Tony said, rubbing Natasha’s shoulder. “I'll go and radio the jet. Let the bird know his little egg’s about to hatch. Get Cap to gun it.”

“We should have time,” Jake said. “First baby and all. They don’t just shoot out.”

“So, what do we do?” Natasha asked.

“We’re going to monitor her, and let the sedatives wear off. I’ll call Kelly to let her know things have started. Then we’re just going to have to see what happens,” Jake said. “Keep everything crossed we just have a normal labor. But I’ll be around and even though pregnancy and labor aren’t my expertise, I do know about enhanced more than anyone else, so I’ll do what I can.”

Natasha furrowed her brow. You couldn’t help but feel bad about how much stress she had been dealing with for the past few weeks. Here you were freaking out about Clint and she had you, Clint, and the baby to worry about. It was a testament to her that she was able to keep it together as well as she had.

You took her hand and held it to your cheek. “I’m sorry, Nat,” you whispered.

“What for?” She asked.

“This. Clint. Everything,” you said. “It’s too much.”

She caressed your cheek and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “It’s going to be worth it. Everyone will be here soon.”

It was a few hours before the sedation began wearing off enough that you were able to get up and out of bed. However, as it wore off your powers seemed to start acting up again. They would go from working so well they would out any needles that came anywhere near you, to not working at all so that your blood pressure would shoot up and you’d have to lie down while they monitored both you and the baby.

Even with all that, things seemed to progress normally and the longer the labor went, the more you were sure Clint wasn’t going to make it in time.

Natasha didn’t leave your side. If you were in bed on the monitors, she was holding your hand and patting your brow with a cool compress. If you were up and pacing through the pain, she was walking with you. When you wanted to go into the shower and just sit under the water, she was in there with you, stripped down to her underwear and supporting your weight.

You recognized the look of fear on her face every time they hooked you up to the monitors and the look of relief when the heartbeat monitors all showed normal. Otherwise, she just seemed as calm and together as she always was. Even in the midst of active labor, you couldn’t help worrying about Clint.

“Looks like it’s time,” your obstetrician Kelly said. “She’s coming.”

“No, no, no, no,” you said, shaking your head. “Clint’s not here yet.”

“The baby doesn’t care, honey,” Kelly reasoned. “You’re going to have to push.”

You screwed up your face and shook your head, trying to resist the urge to push that your own body was sending out. Just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, the door burst open and Kate practically fell through it, supporting Clint. “I’ve got him, he’s here,” she shouted.

“Did I miss it?” Clint asked, his voice panicked.

“Oh my god!” Natasha gasped, holding out her free arm. Clint staggered forward and basically fell into her arms. “I thought I lost you.”

“I’m sorry, Nat,” he said. “I was…”

She shook her head and held him close. “You can tell us later.”

You moaned as a contraction hit and you felt the urge to push that you couldn’t ignore. “That’s it, push,” Kelly cheered.

Clint let Natasha go and leaned over you, looking down into your eyes. “Hey babe,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

You wanted to respond, but all you were was the pain of delivering a baby. You groaned and pushed again, straining as hard as you could.

“Well, no offense, but I’m taking that as my cue. I’ll be out there,” Kate announced and left the room.

“That’s it, dorogáya,” Natasha soothed as Clint pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“She’s crowning if either of you wants to see,” Kelly said.

Both Clint and Natasha moved down to look between your legs. Clint’s face scrunched up while Natasha's jaw dropped open. “Wow, look at her.”

“We’re getting really close now,” Kelly said. “When you’re ready, push again.”

It was another half an hour or so before the final push that brought your little girl into the word. She started crying immediately, and the sound was a relief. She was okay. Despite Nathasha’s genes and your powers going haywire, she had a good set of lungs and she was pink, and healthy, and here.

You lay back down and felt the familiar buzz of your powers engaging healing everything that had happened to you as they cut the cord and whisked her away to be weighed and have her APGAR done.

“You did it,” Natasha said, caressing your brow.

You hummed and looked over at Clint. He was a mess of cut and bruises but he looked happy as he watched the medical staff fussing over the baby. “You made it.”

“I told you I’d be here,” he said and leaned down and kissed you. There was a spark as his lips touched on yours and you both hummed and enjoyed that buzz as it spread from you to him as his wounds began to heal.

They brought the little girl over and placed her on your chest. She was just how you’d imagined her. Clint’s bright blue eyes and a tuft of red hair like Natasha. She looked around at you, Natasha, and Clint like she was taking you all in. “She’s perfect,” you said.

Natasha made a choked sound and nodded, and tears began to run down her cheeks. With all the things you’d seen Natasha go through, the admitting she couldn’t have kids, the gratefulness when you’d offered to be surrogate, her fear it would go wrong, starting a relationship with you, Clint going missing, your weird health turn, this was the first time you’d ever seen her cry. It made you so happy to see how moved she was right now and you reached over and took her hand. “Maybe you should hold her.”

Natasha nodded again and carefully lifted her off you, cradling her close, and looked down at the newborn. “Hey, sweet girl. I’m your mama,” she whispered.

“We did it, Nat,” Clint said. “You get to have everything.”

// NEXT

#clint barton #natasha romanoff #clint barton x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x natasha romanoff #clint barton x natasha romanoff x reader #clintasha #clintasha x reader #hawkeye #black widow #hawkeye fanfic #black widow fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #pregnancy #the surrogate

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lawyering-and-running · 3 years

Text

Chapter 4 - Don't Shoot The Messenger

Series Masterlist

♡ Pretty proud of this one beauties. Don't forget I'm open to suggestions and/or requests xx ♡

Nicole had been sat by the fire for a while, one of the women had passed her a bowl of warm stew and a flask of water. Yet despite feeling more comfortable than she had in months she couldn’t relax. The idea of not knowing what was happening back in Small Heath was nearly too much. That was her town too, why should she not protect it just because she had something different between her legs. She was just as capable as some of the men. Mind made up, she put down her bowl and stretched out her legs. She quickly thanked the women for their kindness before setting off.

Quickly she ran back towards small heath climbing up onto the rooftops until she found her favourite, on top of one of the warehouses with great views of the canals. She raised a flag on top of the building, lighting a fire beside it. A beacon to signal to her people that she needed a meeting. Shelby’s had their family meetings; the runners had their own. She did not have to wait long before the others started the respond. Shadowy figures dropped down on to the roof until all seven of them were gathered.

“We all know what’s happening in those streets below us, and what’s going to happen. This is our home, we know it better than anyone, so we’re going to protect it.” The group was made up of two other girls and four boys, all lean from years of too little food and too much activity. All in dark grey clothing and covered in a fine layer of dirt, they really did look like shadows come alive. When it comes to fight or flight instincts the usual for the group was of course flight. They were used to being ignored, eyes peering into the dark privy to the city’s secrets because nobody realised they were listening in. Nameless, faceless, and voiceless.

But now. As this group stood before her, she realised that maybe they all had an equally strong fight response. Nobody moved to leave, nobody looked scared. “All right then Nik, what’s the plan?” asked Kaz, one of the boys. “I say we use what we’re good at. That we take down Kimber’s men before they even know we’re there. That we keep an eye on things when the other Peakies are unable to do so.” The others nodded their heads in agreement reaching into pockets for hidden switchblades and razors. “Let’s show them what we’ve got” Nina, one of the girls, cheered raising her fist in the air.

Nicole moved towards the edge of the building, looking down at where she could see the men gathering. ”May we die in the shadows as we were born” she said. The group repeated back ”May we die in the shadows as we were born” they wouldn’t quite consider each other family, none of them really knew the concept, but they did have an understanding that they were all one and the same and that they were in this together. With everything said and done the group moved across rooftops, spreading out before slithering down into dark corners, lying in wait.

A hush descended over the group of men as Nicole watched the Shelby brothers from her alleyway, hidden behind a stack of crates. Suddenly Tommy’s voice rang out “It doesn't have to be like this, Kimber.” Kimber’s nasty voice replied “Too late for all that. You've bit off more than you can chew, you little toerag. And now I'm going to take over this shithole.” Nicole quietly fumed, it was no London, but it was their little corner of the world, no way was this outsider going to come in here and disrespect her home. She reigned herself in, it wasn’t her place, wasn’t even her personality really. She stayed hidden watching the conversation take place.

“Now now Kimber, that isn't very polite. I expected something more from a man of your grand standing.” Tommy mocked. “Listen here you little shit, I am going to kill all of you. Every last one of you fuckin Peakies. Then I am going to burn this place to the ground, maybe build myself another racetrack instead. Whilst you lot all rot in hell.” Steam was practically pouring out of Kimber’s ears. His face had gone an odd shade of red, his moustache twitching. It would have probably made for a funny picture if it were not for the seriousness of the situation. Although Nicole swore she could see that glint of amusement in Tommy’s cold blue eyes from where she was perched.

Tommy remained unbothered by the mounting tension in front of him, he shrugged “So that’s how it’s going to be.” Suddenly all hell broke loose. Both sides running for each other, opponents nearly indistinguishable. The loud bangs of gunfire rang through the streets as screams filled the air. Already a hazy mist of blood was settling over them. Nicole saw a Peaky struggling against one of Kimber’s, she crept up behind him and quick as lightning she stabbed him in the neck. She’d rehidden herself by the time the body slumped to the floor, the Peaky looking around for who had saved him.

She continued to dart out where possible to help others in difficult positions, trying as hard as she could to ensure that none of her people lost their lives today. That none of the women of Small Heath would be turned into Widows by the day’s events. She recognised her other runners doing the same, a flash of black, a glint of a blade as they wove through the fighting.

In all of the chaos Nicole had lost track of where the Shelby brothers were. Too focused on what was directly in front of her to think of anything else. She had just unarmed a Kimber for a Peaky to finish off when she saw Kimber raising his gun up to Tommy just a couple of steps away. No one else seemed to have noticed that their fearsome leader was quickly running out of options, his own gun nowhere in sight. Flat cap no match at a distance to a loaded gun. No other thought in mind she jumped for Kimber’s outstretched hand.

Time seemed to slow as she became airborne. As if she were trapped in a bubble, the sounds around her became muffled, tunnel vision focused solely on the weapon. Hands knocking the gun away time sped back up, as noise rushed back in. Angry shouts. She thought she heard a “What the fuck are you doing here?” but that was not important.

She tumbled to the ground with Kimber’s heavy body. The two rolling around trying to gain an upper hand. She lost her blade in the shuffle and had not accounted for Kimber having a backup weapon. Her mistake. Her tired body was no match for his larger frame as he lodged the knife into her shoulder. Yelling obscenities at her. A white-hot numbness spread through her body; she had not felt anything like this before. A pain far more vivid and sharp than a sprained ankle.

Before Kimber could actually finish her off there was a loud bang, the loudest Nicole had heard that day. The weight of a dead body suddenly pressing in on her. Kimber’s unseeing eyes gazing into her own. There was a warm wetness trickling over her, but very little seemed to really be registering in her mind. Her limbs becoming heavy from blood loss and perhaps shock. The heavy body was shoved off of her. The man she had saved appearing above her. “Why would you do something like that, ey?” Tommy asked. His body kneeling next to hers to try and stem the blood flow. All that escaped Nicole was a moan of pain.

A hysterical thought bubbled into her mind, why the hell did she care so much about a gangster. She had only spoken a couple of words to him. Maybe her luck had finally run out, drowned in her own stupidity. Clearly those blue eyes had more of an effect on her than she thought. She laughed out loud, lest she cry out from the pain otherwise. Her eyes shut as the blue-eyed face hovered above her, lips moving but nothing registering in her ringing ears. Then nothing.

Upon seeing Kimber fall the remaining few of his men had quickly tucked tail and run away. The cause no longer worth dying for. The Peakies cheered. “You don’t mess with the PEAKY FUCKIN BLINDERS!” Arthur shouted to even louder cheers. Turning to see Tommy’s crouched form the other two brothers ran over to help. “Is that the girl from before? What’s she doing here?” John questioned. “I don’t bloody know John. She just appeared and saved my life like some fuckin guardian angel. Help me carry her into the Garrison, we need to stitch up the wound.” The men lifted up her limp body as six pairs of eyes watched from the shadows, ready to help but feeling useless all the same. I quite murmur rippled through the group, but a whisper ”May we die in the shadows as we were born” Nicole’s life was in the hands of the Shelby’s now.

They burst through the doors of the pub shoving aside glasses as they laid her body on the table. Tommy ripped her shirt sleeve, heavy and slippery from the blood. Suddenly Polly was by their side as well “Someone get me some whiskey” she commanded whilst taking out a sewing kit. Arthur thrust the bottle at Tommy. He poured half the bottle over the wound grateful that the poor girl was already unconscious for this before pouring the rest of Polly’s waiting hands and needle. His work done he slumped back as Arthur passed him a new bottle of whiskey, this one meant for drinking. He took a couple of gulps as he slowly came down from the adrenaline. The fight, nearly losing his own life, being saved, and then this girl who he for some unexplainable reason cared for nearly dying. Slowly his shaking hands steadied as the alcohol took effect.

Polly had meanwhile sown up the wound and wrapped it in a cloth to stem any further blood flow. Nicole would be alright now. “What a day” she sighed grabbing the bottle from Tommy and taking a swig. Tommy stood up, carrying Nicole to one of the benches and covering her up with his warm black coat. Moving back towards the bar, he turned to face his family “If you check behind the bar Arthur... you will find a bottle of champagne.” Arthur fetched the bottle as Tommy continued “Today was a good day, we only lost a couple of men. All of Kimber's men were busy here, so we managed to take all of the pitches at the Worcester races.” Arthur popped the cork on the bottle “It couldn't have gone better if we'd planned it.” He poured some into the various glasses “Shelby Brothers Limited are now the third largest legal racetrack operation in the country.” Handing them out to the three other family members and keeping one for himself “Cheers! Only the Sabinis and the Solomons are bigger than us. And all my family is here to celebrate. To Shelby Brothers Limited.” “Shelby!” “Brothers!” “Cheers.” Rang out through the room. “There'll be others.” Polly spoke up in warning. Tommy merely raised his glass and toasted her again “To the others. All of them.” His eyes had settled on Nicole’s sleeping form, to new beginnings he thought to himself.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x oc #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x oc #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x oc

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sarahjtv · 3 years

Text

BNHA 304 Spoilers Some Thoughts: Vestiges

This was a meaty chapter with a lot of One For All lore and theories, so I’m going to put in a some thoughts down because I’d be writing an entire essay if I did a deep-dive into this chapter otherwise. Also, I’m using the ReadHeroAcademia Fan Translations, but I think they were kind of wonky this week for some reason, so apologies if I get some stuff wrong, especially when the official translations come out:

We now see all the OFA users in their real forms except for All Might of course. The 2nd and 3rd users aren’t in the shadows anymore, but they’re facing the wall because of course they are. One of them has been speculated by many fans to be Bakugo or one of Bakugo’s decedents mainly because of his hair. I’m not entirely bought on that yet, but I can see it. I don’t think it’s Bakugo himself, so I’m leaning more towards the ancestor thing.

The 4th user’s name is Hakage Shinomori. He lived in the woods (it’s implied that he did it to stay away from society), had OFA for about 18 years, and trained it enough to pass it down to the next user being Banjo. Oh, and he’s pretty 😳! And he died of old age at only 40 yrs old 😰

Edit: The official translations say that his first name was Higake. Also, he didn’t know exactly how he died until All Might dug up his medical records and autopsy from present day. OFA did cause that crack on his face and Shinormori thought it was a disease that killed him initially, but that was not the case.

I actually did look back at Chapter 257(?) where All Might was talking to Deku and Bakugo about the previous OFA users to make sure Shinomori really did die of old age and looks like he did! The panel that shows all the previous holder’s deaths shows the 4th user looking old and tired. I didn’t see any blood or injuries on him. Good consistency, Horikoshi!

It definitely looks like Banjo (the 5th user) likes messing around with Shinomori as he’s messing with Shinormori with his Black Whip and Shinomori is just avoiding him with his Danger Sense LOL! I wonder if the two had this dynamic when they were alive since Sinomori would’ve probably trained Banjo at some point being the 4th and 5th users.

Quick tangent, but I really want to know the 6th user’s deal (the black haired Tobio Kageyama look-alike with the Best Jeanist collar). He’s been on full display since we’ve first saw the vestiges, but we don’t know his Quirk yet (Is it VOLLEYBALL??) or how he trained Nana Shimura. I’m thinking his Quirk is next on Deku’s Awakening list. I want answers, Horikoshi!

Also, Deku can talk in the Vestige World now, but it’s broken speech. Thankfully, it’s enough for the Vestiges to understand, so they’re able to answer his questions and comments fine.

Now to the big topic at hand: One For All is best possessed by Quirkless people and Deku is most likely the LAST user of OFA.

Shinomori says that OFA can no longer be held by “Normal People”. This interested me when he said it because my initial thought was that he was talking about “Quirkless” people. But, then I remember that it was established in the VERY BEGINNING OF THE SERIES that 80+% of people in the BNHA world have Quirks. So they are considered “Normal People” in this universe.

The explanation they gave for why this is is A LOT! But basically, OFA is just too much for people with Quirks. Their glasses are full when they get their Quirks. Adding OFA to that overflows that cup and cracks it (Horikoshi gives us a nice visual, so it’s easier to explain). Because of that, OFA actually chips off a Quirk user’s life-span by a lot. IT AGES THEM SIGNIFICANTLY!!! That’s why 40 was considered “old age” to Shinomori. That’s why he died so quickly.

Edit: I was worried that the fan translation for this explanation would be wrong when the official translations came out, but thankfully it isn’t that far off. It’s basically the same explanation just worded differently. Again, I think the visualization with the cups helps a lot.

But, because All Might was Quirkless, his glass was empty. It wasn’t until he was given OFA that his glass was full. All Might, in a way, made OFA is very own Quirk as if he was born with it. Also, All Might seemingly has the power to summon the Vestiges willingly though he doesn’t know it yet.

Edit: Ok, the part where All Might can summon the Vestiges willingly was not in the official translations, but based on how his hand on Deku’s cast is drawn, I don’t think the fan translations were too far off. All Might can at least feel them inside Deku at this point.

AND, based on what’s said, All Might’s has had OFA for 40 YEARS! So, doing the math, if All Might got OFA at 14-15 yrs old + 40 yrs = All Might is at least 54-55 years old at this point. I thought he’d be around this age, but now it’s pretty much confirmed.

A lot of info is still unknown though such as how and why OFA adapts with the User’s original Quirks. Though it is clarified that Quirkless people do have the most potential to hold OFA.

The 1st User says that having All Might and Deku inherit OFA was a miracle (or might be fate) and then Horikoshi shows us a panel of Sir Nighteye. This kinda guts me... Nighteye was so bent on making sure that Mirio was the perfect candidate for OFA before he accepted Deku’s role. And Mirio would’ve been a great hero with OFA, but he would not have been a great candidate. If Mirio inherited OFA, he would’ve died an early age. I hate to say it, but I’m glad Nighteye was wrong and All Might made the right choice.

Also, thinking about it, Shinormoi died at age 40 with 4 quirks in him (including his own). So, I’d imagine Mirio with 8 quirks in him would chop off his life span significantly. I’d say Mirio here wouldn’t have lasted through his 20s at least. Thank god he didn’t inherit OFA 😨

And finally on this topic, because Quirkless people are becoming more and more scarce, Deku is most likely going to be last holder of OFA. A lot of people including myself thought this might be the case, but not for this reason. Thankfully, this means that Deku will (hopefully) live a long life, but he’ll have no successor to pass the Quirk down to. The only other Qurikless person we know in this world besides Deku and All Might is Melissa Shield, but she want to build support items for heroes instead. Deku’s kids will most likely have Quirks, so they’re out of the picture. There aren’t a lot of options left in the BNHA world. OFA will most likely live and die with Deku.

LASTLY, Nana Shimura speaks up and asks Deku a crucial question: “Are you able to kill Tomura Shigaraki?” First off, WHAT??? Second off, WHAT????? Nana is asking Deku if he can KILL her own GRANDSON!!! I know Shigaraki is evil and killed a shitton of people, but KILL HIM??? Good god, Horikoshi... Where are you going with this, my dude. I don’t think Deku can bring it in himself to kill someone even if it is Shigaraki. I doubt he will. So I wonder what his response to Nana will be in the next chapter.

There, I did it. I said my piece. THIS CHAPTER WAS A LOT THOUGH HOLY SHIT! I knew we were getting Vestige stuff this week, but goddamn. I hope I did this chapter enough justice though. I do recommend reading the chapter for yourself when it comes out though, because I think it explains things better. I expect a lot from the next chapter too.

In conclusion; Me @ Me this entire chapter:

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onebatch2batch · 3 years

Note

24 or 43 for kastle from the 50 prompts thingy??

43. “Are you drunk?” [ao3]

I got a little carried away....not sorry. Thank you for the prompt!!

The sun has long since set by the time Karen manages to shoulder her way into her apartment building, annoyed. It’s been a long and difficult week, and she had been so excited to get home to her pajamas, wine, and fuzzy socks. In fact she’d been almost out of her office before realizing that her cabinets at home are completely empty. She’s been so busy at work that grocery shopping has been on the back burner, and she knew that if she’d just gone straight home after work she would have ordered in food all weekend. Her budget would never allow for that--and so she’d stopped at the little bodega on the way home and bought what she needed. All in all it had amounted to about four bags and a bottle of wine tucked safely away in her purse. She’d walked the five blocks home with aching hands and aching feet, dreaming of her quiet apartment. Maybe I’ll take a bath, she thinks as she shoots the broken elevator a sour look, or maybe I’ll just lay in bed and watch Netflix. Or try to work through one of my cold cases. Or read. Oh, maybe I’ll read in the bath.

She does none of those things. Karen reaches her floor, turns the corner, and her heart stutters.

There’s someone at her door. He’s got his back to her, so she can’t make out much, but he’s in dark clothes and his hood is up. He’s got his forehead pressed to her door. Part of her hopes he’s just drunk and thinks he’s somewhere else. The more logical part says that she definitely recognizes those combat boots even from behind.

“Frank?”

He jerks, then turns to give her a wide, loose smile. “Hey, Kar’n.”

She stares. Blinks. Stares some more. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh.” He shifts, nearly trips on a frayed part of the hallway carpet, catches himself last minute. “Can we talk inside?”

There goes my quiet evening.

As happy as she is to see Frank Castle alive and well, she knows not to expect more than a friendly social call. Karen passes him a handful of groceries and digs out her keys, letting them both into her warm apartment. Frank slides the lock in place behind her as she moves towards the kitchen, kicking off her heels with an embarrassingly happy groan. “Is this a coffee conversation, or something strong?” she asks over her shoulder.

Frank carefully maneuvers the handful of bags onto her counter and focuses on removing everything for her to put away. “You worried ‘bout me bein’ here?”

That’s a loaded question. She raises a brow. “Frank, you never visit recreationally. What’s going on? Are you on the run again? Need some info on someone?” If they have to have this conversation, she’d rather get the niceties out of the way and get back to her weekend.

“Nope. None of that.” He smiles again, nearly drops an apple, and then something clicks.

“Wait a minute,” she gasps, amazed. “Are you drunk?”

His answering grin is enough. Karen laughs incredulously, some of the tension knotted in her spine loosening. As soon as she’d seen him she had assumed that he needed something, or needed her help. Not that he was paying a visit on the way home from a bar.

“I didn’t even think you drank,” she huffs, amused. She quickly puts away her groceries and then pours a glass of wine for herself.

“I don’t usually,” he admits, leaning against the counter. Now that she knows what she’s looking for, there’s a warm flush on his cheeks and a looseness to his limbs that’s different from his normal, tense posture. “It’s Curt’s birthday, we had a couple after group.”

She’s glad to hear he’s still going to that group. They settle on the couch and exchange small talk about how it’s going and how Curtis is until curiosity gets the better of her. “So why are you actually here, Frank?”

He looks caught. She’s interested to see that his usually expressive face is much more so when inebriated. Every flicker of his eye and clench of his jaw gives away what he’s thinking. It’s like reading a book on how dodgy a vigilante can look. “Well, I wanted to see you.”

It's such a line, and coming from anyone form him she would have rolled her eyes. As it stands, the idea of The Punisher making a booty call because he’s had a bit too much to drink makes her laugh. She catches the hurt look on his face before he can hide it.

“What?”

“Oh no, Frank, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I’m glad you’re here.” She reaches over to squeeze his arm reassuringly, which seems to mollify him slightly.

“What’s funny, then?”

“Just the thought of The Punisher making a booty call.” Karen laughs again, unable to help herself. Frank is the most intense person she’s ever met, and she would certainly know if that was his plan. She doesn’t think he would be able to hide it if it were. She looks at him, inviting him to share in the hilarity of the idea, but he’s not laughing. Not even a little. In fact, his face flashes red and he clears his throat, looking away.

“Hang on,” Karen says slowly, laugh dying in her throat. “Is that what this is?”

“No,” Frank says quickly. “No, of course not.”

He’s lying. It’s the first time he’s ever lied to her. Karen’s mouth drops open. She stares at him, waiting for him to crack a smile or announce that he’s messing with her, but he just stares out the window and clenches his jaw. When she realizes he’s not planning on explaining, she takes two large gulps of wine and sets down her glass.

“Really? Because it kind of seems like I hit the nail on the head there.”

He’s already shaking his head emphatically. “No, Karen, Christ, I just, I--I wanted to see you, that’s all--”

This could go so many different ways, she’s not sure which option to explore first. She could let him off the hook and feign ignorance, maybe talk for another hour and then send him on his way. Or she could demand he tell her what he wants. Or she could mercilessly tease him--who can say they’re able to tease The Punisher and get away with it? And anyways, he’s gotten her into plenty of life-threatening situations (even if he usually saves her from them later) so joking around to get back at him is too good to pass up.

“Is there something off putting about me, then?” She raises a brow, having only a hair too much fun. “Because now you’re being a little too defensive for my tastes.”

“Oh Jesus, Karen--”

She shrugs. “I’m just saying, we’re both single and know each other and if that’s what this is, then you just have to say it--”

He’s starting to look panicked. “No it’s--”

“Come on, Frank, just admit it. You came here for a booty call--”

“Hey, no--”

“Because you’re drunk and have some excess energy--”

“It’s not because I’m drunk.”

The game is over. Frank is looking at her with a particularly focused expression that steals the air from her lungs. He leans forward, in her space, stopping just short of her lips. “If you think,” he rasps, and now it’s Karen’s turn to flush at his proximity, “for a second that I would come here just to sleep with you like it’s not something I’ve thought about constantly for two years, like I would just ruin this for one night--along with you and your fucking stubbornness and your smile and how you look in those fucking--...skirts--...” he takes a deep breath in, closes his eyes briefly, and then snaps them open to give her a loaded look, “--then you’re fuckin’ crazy, Karen.”

And then he sits back, and looks away.

She’s sure she looks like a complete idiot, but Karen can’t wipe the shock off her face. After a few moments where it feels like her heart literally stops beating, it reanimates with a pounding she can feel between her legs. Her throat is suddenly too dry, and she swallows hard. Her mind races to get them back on solid footing, but her mouth has other ideas. “So you’ve thought about us having sex?” is the first astonished thing to escape her lips.

“No,” Frank sighs patiently, but like she’s deliberately being obtuse. It’s such a funny, cute little sound that she’s never heard from him before, and it’s doing nothing for the desire that’s coursing through her. “I think about us in every way. Having sex, sure. But watchin’ tv together. Gettin’ a dog. Goin’ grocery shopping. Shit, just gettin’ up and having coffee in the morning. Just...I just think about us.”

It’s such a momentous confession that Karen feels inadequate to handle. Ever since she pleaded with him in the hospital, begging for him to leave the fight behind for her, she has filed away her feelings. After such a staunch dismissal of her feelings, she was sure he wasn’t interested in her other than as an informant and maybe, just sometimes, a friend. Now with his (albeit drunk) confession, she knows otherwise. She still doesn’t know what self-sacrificing, self-deprecating bullshit caused him to turn her down before, but that’s a discussion for another time. Right now, she wants to drag him towards her and kiss him senseless. She wants to smack him for waiting so long to say something. She wants to cry with relief. She wants to make him feel validated and loved. She wants to prove to the world that Frank Castle is a good man who has been dealt a shitty hand, even if she has to scream it from theEmpire State Building. “Frank,” she chokes out, “you should have said.”

He tenses, looking at her wearily. “Am I too late?”

She doesn’t answer with words. She’s too busy closing the gap between him and burying her face in his neck. He smells familiar, like sandalwood and vanilla, reminding her of a different day in her apartment. She’d hugged him for much longer than appropriate and he hadn’t pulled away. She thought maybe it had been a sorry and thank you all at once. And then he’d left again, and it had nearly broken her in two. “Never,” she vows into his skin, painting a promise with her lips.

She hears his ragged exhale, and then he’s drawing her up towards him. His kiss is soft, just a brush of lips against hers before he presses another to her cheek, her forehead, her chin. When he returns once more to capture her lips, Karen lets her hands wander the wide expanse of his chest, lets herself revel in the firmness of his body against her. Touching him like this is such a foreign feeling, but like she’s finally found the missing piece to a long started puzzle. His hands are just as eager, running along her spine and then resting on her hips before his strong fingers sink into her hair, the others pressing firmly on her lower back so that he can grind up against her. Karen gasps and Frank takes advantage of her parted lips, deepening the kiss, his tongue curling against her teeth. As Karen loses herself in the feeling of his heat and hands and kisses, she daydreams about what could happen next. She could slide off his lap to kneel between his legs. She could take the very strong evidence of his arousal and pepper it with kisses until he begs her to take him in her mouth. She could get him just close enough, and then crawl up the hard line of his body to take him in every way possible. She could make him believe that he’s been worth waiting for.

Instead, she pushed lightly on his chest until he pulls away with what she can only call a pout. He looks the definition of dishevelled with his soft curls askew and pupils blown wide. Her chest heaves, and she bites back a small noise of disappointment when his hips cease their wonderful friction against hers. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re drunk,” she reminds him unsteadily.

Frank lets his head fall back against the couch. His hands tighten on her waist briefly, reminding her of their precarious position--as if she could forget. She hasn’t been so turned on in eons. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “I know.”

“We should stop.”

His head lifts, eyes meeting hers, hopeful. “For now?”

Karen smiles, allowing one more brief kiss. It takes every bit of self-control in her to keep it chaste. “Until you’re sober. Then we’ll talk. But we can check one thing off your list, if you like.”

His mind struggles to switch gears. “Which one?”

Karen kisses his nose before clamoring off the couch (and his lap) on wobbly legs. “I’m going to preset the coffee machine for the morning. Now, which side of the bed do you sleep on?”

When he gives her a tentative, wonderful, bashful smile, Karen has to force herself to walk into the kitchen. Frank Castle has never been so dangerous as he is now, she thinks, sitting on that couch with mussed hair and swollen lips. Every instinct begs for her to return to his lap and continue what they started, but she measures the coffee out and stays strong. They can finish tomorrow, but they have things to talk about.

Over coffee. She smiles and sets the timer.

#kastle #mine #my writing #kastle ff #kastle fic

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

Text

Protection - Chapter 2

Summary: August might’ve made a pretty bad impression on Mia, however, will she help him when he has a slight problem?

August Walker x Mia Makaruku (ofc)

Wordcount: 3.5k

Warnings: None

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

The next morning I finally decide to do the smart thing: I get up at seven in the morning, to clean my apartment, start prepping some meals and work through the piles of laundry I have neglected these past few days.

Okay, I didn’t necessarily do that because I decided to be a productive woman for once and try to get most out of my day, but it is mostly because I couldn’t sleep anymore. I have been having nightmares since I can remember, which is probably since the fatal car crash that killed not only my parents, but also my brothers.

At least, that is what I’m told.

I remember crashing, I remember being out of the car and waiting for the emergency services, but I don’t remember my family maybe running away, their bodies being dragged away from me. They could be anywhere, really.

Dead or alive.

But ever since that crash, I have nightmares. Sometimes there is a loud crash or a fire I can’t escape or I’m drowning.

Usually I wake up at least once—but mostly twice—in the middle of the night, but last night I slept through. That seems nice, but I was woken up abruptly, since it felt like I was falling off a building.

While I’m putting the salad in the containers and I place them neatly in the fridge, I hear someone knocking on my door. This early? What idiot is up already and wants to bother me? I walk to the door and once I open it, a nasty surprise awaits me.

‘What do you want?’ I ask the one and only August Walker. After yesterday, I have decided that I don’t want to be his friendly neighbor. He hurt me feelings and doesn’t deserve anymore of my kindness.

‘My heater is broken,’ he simply announces.

And for that he knocks on my door? ‘Sucks to be you,’ I tell him.

��I only have one blanket and my other clothes are coming in later this morning, just as the mechanic.’

I’m flabbergasted to say the least. ‘And you are sharing this information with me, because…?’ I know damn well why he is sharing this with me, but I’m not that easy.

August sighs, visibly annoyed. ‘Because I was hoping I could stay here with you for a while.’

I bark out a laugh. ‘Are you kidding me? After what you said to me yesterday, you honestly think I would let you in my apartment? I would be bat shit crazy if I did that. You insulted me, August.’

‘I barely insulted you.’

He has some nerves. ‘You said you hated women’s soccer to a professional female soccer player.’ I give him a do I need to explain any further-look.

‘You told me my moustache made me look like a pedophile.’

I cock an eyebrow. ‘That was only after you insulted me. Had you never been mean to me, I would’ve kept it to myself. But that is beyond the point, really. The real question is: why are you bothering me?’

He clenches his jaw. He probably thought that with his brooding look and broad build, he could intimidate me into letting him in my house. Well, he thought wrong. ‘I just want to stay here for a few hours, till eleven. I won’t bother you, I promise, but I’m really cold.’

I lean against the doorframe, as I check my watch. ‘That is three hours,’ I tell him. ‘I can barely deal with you for three minutes, let alone three hours. The answer is no. Just fuck off, will you?’

August wants to hold back a laugh, but fails miserably. ‘You sure mean that,’ he chuckles. I know I shouldn’t think like this, but he looks actually very friendly when he laughs, even if he is laughing at me. ‘Listen, I might’ve made a bad impression on you yesterday.’

‘You might’ve? Goodness gracious, do you have any self reflection? You definitely made a bad impression.’

He sighs, but almost has something from a growl. ‘It’s a few hours, Mia. What’s the big deal?’

What’s the big deal? This man has got quite some guts, it’s almost admirable. ‘Well,’ I say, incapable of saying no to him, ‘if I can get an apology, you can stay here. Saying sorry is not that hard, even you can do it.’

‘I don’t do apologies.’

Of course he doesn’t. I’m not even surprised. ‘And I don’t give shelter to my shitty neighbors, even if it’s only for three hours. Goodbye August. Please, freeze to death.’

I want to close the door, but he simply places his hand on the flat surface. Fuck, he is strong, those arms certainly are not lying. The battle August Walker vs Mia Makaruku is a quick one and not in my favor, I can tell you that. ‘I don’t want to freeze to death, so I’m gonna say this one time and one time only, so you better listen carefully: I’m sorry I was rude.’

I smile. ‘See, it wasn’t that hard. I also liked it that you really sincerely apologized, meaning in from the bottom of your heart.’

I know I’m pushing the limits here. August glares at me, but even through the death glare he is sending me, I can actually see some humanity in his light orbs. I actually feel a bit sorry for him. I know, that surprises me too.

‘Come on. Just don’t bother me too much and the second the mechanic is here, I want you out of my apartment.’

‘Doable.’ I have barely stepped aside, when he barges into my apartment. He has the audacity to plop on my couch, grab the remote and turn on the television.

‘Yes August, please make yourself at home. Do you want a coffee with that? Some homemade chocolate croissants? A fucking massage?’ I slam the door shut and when I look at him, I notice the smug smile on his face because of my offers. I let out a growl. ‘Don’t even think about it.’

Unbeknownst of the company, Bobo trots into the room. When his eyes land on the stranger on the couch, he arches his back with his hackles raised and hisses. I’m glad to know my furry companion thinks just as lowly of the—sort of—uninvited guest as I do. ‘I’m not a big fan of cates,’ August notes.

‘I’m almost assuming this is your first time you’re over at someones place,’ I say. ‘You sure know how to not behave yourself. If you don’t like him, go back to your own place.’

‘Okay, okay, I’ll stop. What do I do if he comes near me?’ August looks up at me. ‘Do I just hiss back?’

Thankfully I can manage to keep a straight face. ‘That’s an option,’ I tell him, as I walk back to my kitchen. Do I hiss back? It’s nearly endearing, especially since it’s coming from a tough looking guy like August Walker. I prepare my coffee machine and ask: ‘Do you want some coffee?’ While I don’t necessarily want him here, I might make most out of it. Besides, I can’t possibly imagine someone is as rude as him without a reason.

Maybe he had a shitty youth. I mean, I encountered my fair share of foster siblings and some of them were rude as hell, but when I learned about their family situation, prior to this foster home, I realized they had every reason to act like they did. While my coping mechanism is to charm my ass off and make a good impression on everyone (and I mean literally everyone), August’s way to dealing with his trauma’s can be to push people away. However, I do think he desperately wants to make a connection. Despite not totally getting it, he did come to me when his heater broke, so that must mean I’m maybe the only one who is trying to be nice to him? Give him a chance, while he might not deserve it?

Right?

‘Sure,’ August says, while keeping a close eye on Bobo, who stares at him with his back still arched. ‘What’s the cat’s name?’

‘Bobo,’ I answer him. ‘I got him from the shelter. Fun story: I was actually looking to adopt a dog, but when I walked passed Bobo’s cage, I couldn’t say no to him. Like it was an instant click between us.’

August doesn’t say anything, so apparently he doesn’t agree on this being a fun story. While the coffee is running, I walk back to the living room, but as I pass a mirror, I manage to hold in my gasp.

I look like crap! I’m still wearing my flannel pajamas that are actually three sizes too large for me and I actually don’t think I can call this frizzy mess on my head, hair. I also have not put on any moisturizer yet and it shows.

To kind of make myself a bit more presentable, I twist my hair in a bun, to sort of contain it.

Yesterday I looked pretty put together. Today I look like an utter mess. I can barely blame August for not taking me seriously. I plop on the seat and Bobo jumps on the armrest. The orange cat sits down, but continues to take August in.

‘The staring is making me uncomfortable,’ August mentions.

‘You seem so tough, but looks can be very deceiving,’ I chuckle.

‘That’s not funny.’

‘It’s hilarious, you should grow a sense of humor,’ I retort. ‘Okay, tell me something fun about yourself.’

August frowns. ‘Why on earth would I do that?’

‘Because I’m providing you shelter,’ I say. ‘Honestly, it’s the least you can do. Tell me something fun. There must be something fun about you.’

‘You have to give me more than that,’ he mutters. ‘I don’t like talking about myself and I certainly can’t do it on the spot.’

Okay, that’s fair, I can’t do that either. ‘From where did you move here?’

August lets out a deep breath, as I watch him caressing his own thigh. It almost looks like he is soothing himself. Is this question making him uncomfortable? ‘Montana,’ he says, but it’s not very convincing. Hearing from his tone, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

‘You want a pet?’ I continue trying to strike up a conversation. I don’t want to stare at him for three hours (not that I would complain about it, because the view is pretty okay, it’s just slightly weird) and I need him to talk, because otherwise I have to kick him out.

‘I’m not a big fan of animals. As a matter of fact, I don’t even like animals.’

‘That’s really sad,’ I say, as I scratch Bobo behind his ears, earning me some load purring. ‘Animals are very nice and you always have someone to cuddle with. Or doesn’t August Walker like cuddles either?’

He looks over at me, not amused. ‘Do we have to talk?’ he asks, expertly avoiding my question, sarcastic or not.

‘Yes, we do. If you don’t want to talk, ask me something and at least pretend to listen when I do so.’

August cocks an eyebrow, before he thinks about it for a while. ‘Are you ever afraid of life?’

‘Geez,’ I exclaim, ‘way to make it this depressing in the morning!’

He simply shrugs. ‘You wanted me to ask you something.’

I sink deeper into the backrest of my soft one person sofa. The question does make me think. I’d like to surround myself with positivity, ignoring the bad things happening in the world and not think about the darker aspects in life. I know that is not very healthy and you should be aware of the things happening around you, but it has helped me through tough times in life.

But when I think about it, about the uglier side of life, I realize one thing. ‘I am afraid of life,’ I say.

‘Why?’ he asks.

‘Because it can be scary sometimes. Unpredictable.’ The sounds of screeching tires, a loud crash and the car tumbling over all flashes through my mind. ‘It can be painful.’ Realizing how upsetting this all sounds, I grab a pillow from behind me and throw it to August. ‘Why are you so damn miserable?’ I ask him. ‘We should start the day on a happy note, not make it this depressing.’

August breaks out in a smile and when he does so, he looks approachable. Not like my shitty and rude neighbor, but like a nice guy. ‘Well, your questions were too generic.’

‘Yours are too depressing.’

For a few seconds we simply look at each other, before we both burst out in laughter. It’s nice to see August Walker like this. He doesn’t look stuffy anymore and he lost the arrogant glow. ‘Well, while you think of more lighter questions, I’ll get the coffee. You want milk or sugar in it?’

‘No, just black will do.’

I walk to the kitchen, pour in the coffee in two bright red mugs and hand him one. ‘There you go,’ I say to him.

He simply takes it out of my hand, but I continue to hold it. ‘What are you doing?’

‘One usually says thank you when he or she receives something from someone.’ I remember it clearly, when one of my first foster parents taught me some lessons in being polite. Back then it was said in a loving way. Now I recreate the entire scene in more of a mocking tone.

August rolls his eyes, exactly as I expected him to do. ‘Thank you,’ he grumbles. ‘You happy now?’

‘Absolutely delighted.’

◎ ◎ ◎

At eleven ‘o clock sharp, August left because the mechanic arrived. Not long after that, I had to go to practice. Because of the presence of my neighbor the entire morning, I actually forgot about having to train with Tristan on the side of the field. I wondered what on earth I did to displease coach Riley. Okay, I know she does this because it is for my own good, but for fuck’s sake, I have never felt so humiliated in my time I’ve trained with the Red Stars.

Thankfully the awful training finally ended and at around five in the late afternoon, I’m back at my apartment building. When the doors slid open, I see Harold standing behind the reception as usual. I glide through the hallway and manage to stop right in front of him on the other side of the desk. ‘Hello Harold,’ I say to him.

‘Hello miss Mia,’ he says to me, as he places his under arms on the flat surface of his desk. ‘You seem awfully cheery today. I thought you had to take it easy today during training.’

Am I cheery? My teammates said this to me as well today, before I remembered I had to train on the side of the field and now Harold mentions it too? I don’t really know why I would be— Oh no! Does this mean what I think it means?

Did I enjoy August’s company this morning?

Well, to be honest, it was actually quite nice from time to time. I have been spending most of my time alone in my apartment (actually all the time). I mean, I love my teammates and we hang out after practice sometimes, but they have their own lives, their own families.

I don’t want to intrude, though they invite me from time to time. It’s more that I’m scared to join them. What if they only ask me to join them, because they want to be nice and polite?

After we talked for a while this morning, August and I, we spend some time watching television. It was almost as if we were alone together and that felt quite nice.

‘Just woke up in a cheery mode,’ I say, though it’s not exactly the truth. ‘Is there any mail for me?’

He shakes his head. ‘No, miss.’

‘For my new neighbor then?’

Harold shakes his head again. ‘How is he anyways? Heard about his heater being broken.’

I smile. ‘Well, he quite nice actually. Bit stuffy, like you said, but once you get to know him, he can be nice from time to time.’

‘Is that why you are cheery?’ he asks.

‘What?’ I exclaim. How did Harold guess that right away? Yes! ‘No, what on earth would give you that impression?’

Harold tries to keep a straight face, but he fails and I realize I’ve been caught red handed. ‘Well, miss Mia,’ he says, thankfully not adding any fuel to this disastrous situation, ‘I’m glad to know that you manage to make even him likable. You are a very special lady.’

‘Right,’ I say, after I cleared my throat. ‘I’m gonna go. See you later, Harold.’

He chuckles. ‘Later, miss.’

When I step out on the right floor, I let out a deep sigh. Is it true? Am I cheery because of August Walker? Who would’ve guessed. When I pass his door and I fumble with my keys, I hear a door open. I look to my side and see August stepping into the hallway.

‘Good afternoon, neighbor,’ I say to him. ‘How are you?’

He doesn’t smile and the nice August I saw every so often this morning, has disappeared into thin air. While I want to be annoyed by it, I can’t help but notice to see the slight pain in his eyes. I saw it this morning and I see it now. From the looks of it, he is hurting and I relate. I know how it feels.

But what I also know is that deep down there is a lovely soul, it’s just protected by a very thick wall.

‘Good afternoon,’ he hums. ‘I realized I took this from you.’ He holds out the red mug I handed to him three times this morning. This man gulps down coffee as if it is water and for a second I was genuinely concerned he would have a caffeine overdose.

He seems to have managed just fine.

‘Oh, thank you,’ I say as I take it from him when he stepped closer to me. ‘I probably wouldn’t have missed it. I have way too many mugs, but thanks anyways.’

The way August is hot and cold within a matter of seconds, is something I should put up with from now on. I have decided to give this man with some pretty poor social skills the benefit of the doubt. Besides, I actually quite enjoy having him around.

No wonder I was cheery today.

August buries his hands in his pockets and is probably waiting for me to say something.

‘Your heater fixed?’ I ask.

He simply nods. ‘Yes, all good now.’

Is he waiting again for me to say something? This man… Before I can even think about the pros and cons of my very impulsive idea, I ask him: ‘Do you have plans tomorrow night?’

‘I don’t,’ he says, before he frowns. 'Why?’

‘I have two tickets for a Bulls game.’

He looks confused. ‘A what game?’

‘Bulls game. Chicago Bulls. Basketball,’ I clarify. ‘I mean, you can go with me if you want.’

‘And why would I want to do that?’

‘Because I’m the loveliest neighbor and human being for that matter, you have ever encountered in your life and you desperately want to spend more time with me.’

August doesn’t smile. Maybe he is conflicted, because he occasionally let his guard down this morning.

And maybe this question is way too much. I don’t really understand I was questioning his social skills this morning, while I’m out here overstepping all sorts of boundaries.

‘Sure,’ he however says to my surprise. ‘I can’t really think of worse things to do tomorrow.’

‘You’re such an asshole,’ I tell him. ‘You were quite nice this morning in my apartment. What changed?’ I don’t give him time to answer. ‘Oh wait, I think I get it. It’s this hallway that turns you into a complete asshole.’

‘You can still un-invite me,’ he says, with an amused glimmer in his eyes.

‘I can do that of course, however believe it or not, I barely have friends and the few I have, all have their own social circles and don’t like to go to Bulls games.’

‘Then why did you purchase two tickets?’

‘Because it was cheaper to buy two tickets and I’d like to live up to the stereotype that the Dutch are stingy cheapskates.’

‘I can tell you, Mia, it’s working,’ he says. ‘Someone without friends who want to go to Bulls games with her, purchases two tickets, simply because it’s cheaper.’

I stick out my tongue. ‘Well, whatever. It starts tomorrow at six and it’s within walking distance from here. You have time?’

‘I sure do.’

‘And you still want to go with me?’

He nods.

‘Well, see you tomorrow then, August.’

He looks at me, a long and intense stare, before he says: ‘See you tomorrow, Mia.’

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #Henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill x soccer player #henry cavill x asian ofc #henry cavill x mia makaruku #august walker #august walker x ofc #august walker x asian ofc #august walker x oc #august walker x mia makaruku #august walker x soccer player #fic: protection #asian ofc #mia makaruku

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burning-clutch · 3 years

Text

Headstrong With Headstones

cross posted on a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30588233

-.-.-.-.-.-

Ghosts are always around to ruin Danny’s day. Nothing new there, but what came of it when the Red huntress tackled him and sent them both through the ghost catcher? Well, this was new...

Warnings: descriptions of death-like trama, injuries

Prompt by: EchoGhost

Valerie, as the Red Huntress, is chasing Phantom and they end up both accidentally flying through the Fenton Ghost Catcher together. This causes Danny to end up with the hunter suit and Valerie to end up with ghost powers. (Optional: When Val goes ghost she still looks exactly like Phantom.)

Whoo boy, this one was a ride! Fun to write though but boy! Did it get away from me! it’s a long one! Anyway, enjoy! Unbetaed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“I am really hating these things!” Phantom called out as he flew about the area blasting another giant ant looking.

He had no idea where these things came from or why but suddenly Amity was overrun with ant and bug ghosts that were just… everywhere. They were large, as far as bugs go, that is, ranging from the size of a house cat to a large dog, and each seemed to be either possessing citizens or stealing food to bring back for their queen.

Why they needed physical food, Danny wasn’t sure, but he also wasn’t about to let them stick around to let them accomplish their goal to find out. He looked over his shoulder as Sam and Tucker wrestled with a thirty something woman who was howling in rage tied up in a Fenton fishing line before they tossed her through the Ghost Catcher to separate out the ghost bug from the woman.

That done they blasted the ant ghost causing it to explode. “At least these things aren’t hard to destroy,” Tucker said, a disgusted look on his face. At least they had managed to get the catcher down here to the epicentre of the ant outbreak. Ant-break? Eh….

ng ghost. The ectoplasmic drone exploded into goo making Danny wince. “Ugh nasty... “ The halfa complained “At least we’re finally getting through them... “ Sam sighed in agreement. Though she would rather they catch the ghosts overblowing them up into goo she couldn’t deny the effectiveness. It was faster and more efficient to do rather than catch them in the thermoses and given they were only ecto constructs she couldn’t feel too bad about the whole thing. They just really needed to find the queen ant ghost sooner rather than later given that these things would never stop coming otherwise.

“Come on Tuck there's more down here! I just saw, like, eight go down the alley,” Sam said to her current partner in ghost busting. Tucker groaned but readied his lipstick blaster nonetheless and followed closely behind the dark haired girl.

Phantom watched them go before turning his attention back to the task at hand shooting through a random old man to pull out a ghost and explode that removed one as well as a larger one sneaking up on him all with the same large ecto blast.

A call of triumph was soon changed into a call of pain as Phantom was suddenly shot in the back. "I don't know how you're involved in this but I know you are, ghost!" Came an all too familiar and rather unwelcome voice from behind the halfa.

"Can we not right now Red?" Phantom complained. That shot between his shoulder blades had hurt! And he had really hoped that one of the ant ghosts had just been stronger than the others. Wishful thinking…

"Don't wanna hear your 'hero' spiel, ghost! Once I take care of you these bugs will be gone!" The Red Huntress spat back angrily.

"Me being here, and those bugs are not connected!" Phantom called back in exasperation just barely dodging a blast from the hunter.

"Stay still and let me end you ghost!"

"Tempting offer but, no. Gonna have to pass on that." Phantom called, aiming a shot and knocking the gun from Red's hands before trying to flee from her all the while still trying to round up the ghost bugs he came across.

It didn't exactly bode well with Valerie. The huntress dove after her gun, catching it before it smashed to the ground below, and tearing after the monochromatic ghost. “Get back here you ectoplasmic skum!” She yowled punching the gas so to speak, as she tried to gain headway against Phantom’s much more agile form.

“Oh! Good one! Haven’t heard that one every day of my afterlife! You need new insults!” He taunted blasting an ant ghost before slipping underground hoping to shake the huntress.

Red growled and brought up the information she’d need to track the menace in her visor eager to try and pinpoint where that jerk would be coming out. Thankfully her instruments didn’t fail her and she was able to see where he was, and got into position to head him off at the pass.

When Phantom did reemerge he did so invisibly not that it made a difference to the hunter, her visor showing where he was rather accurately. She fired, landing the hit on Phantom forcing him to drop his invisibility and jump back into the normal visible spectrum.

The ghost blinked at her stupidly a moment before asking, “New upgrades?”

“Yes, All the better to take revenge on you!”

“You’re still on about that?! You know I’m the ghost in this relationship, right? I’m supposed to be the one with the obsession?” He called only to let out a yelp and dodge down out of the way of the incoming missiles barely a second later.

“The only relationship we have is hunter and prey!” Red called out in rage making Phantom grimace.

The ghost turned to shoot any of the tracking missiles that were still coming at him before telling the girl, “You know you sound like Skulker right?! Like ew!”

“Shut up! You have no idea what this is like!”

“I was alive once ya know” Phantom argued back dodging another volley of shots and ducking down weaving under a billboard. “If anything you’re the one who doesn’t understand! Not to mention the anger issues!”

“I’ll show you anger issues!” Red quipped back yelping as her gun was shot out of her hand and exploded into bits from a follow up shot from Phantom. She was nearly out of ammo for that one anyway…

Still, she gave pursuit, even if she was ill prepared, given how fast she booked it out and after that stupid spectre when he appeared on her radar she was a little light, not that it mattered. Still, she hated to admit but she was well aware that if these bug things were Phantom’s he wouldn’t just be destroying them… it didn’t fit his MO.

Then again this was a ghost they were looking at as if they had any rational thought or feelings whatsoever! She could almost laugh at the thought. A ghost with actual feelings. HA! No matter though this time, this time she’d have him… he was weak after fighting all those other ghosts after all those minor literal bugs that needed to be squashed. She would take care of Phantom first then finish the mess he undoubtedly created.

Red let out a growl of frustration as her shots went wide, her anger causing her to miss, she knew it was that but she found herself seeing, well, red. She yelped at the burn her hand and arm sustained as Phantom blasted at her gun again, sort of missing his target and causing the weapon to explode in her hand. Of course, that only served to make her madder.

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.

While Phantom was gloating about his shot or some other such thing, no that sorry was sarcastic! How could it be anything else from a ghost?! She shot forward at top speed, the motor in her board whirring and whining in dismay as she punished it for all it had, slamming into Phantom and more or less tackling him with her board.

He yelped in surprise and she activated the stinger prod on the end of the board giving the stupid ghost a good amount of electricity.

Phantom screeched something fierce, a horrid sound that she had never heard before and his eyes widened in fear. GOOD! He finally knew to fear her! She shocked him again still moving forward to keep him on the end of her board.

In her delirium of finally getting something in on that stupid ghost she wasn’t exactly looking where she was steering, and well, to say she was shocked when she had passed through the Ghost catcher would be an understatement.

Pain, that’s all her mind knew, and that’s all Phantom’s knew as well as the ghostly energies and anti-energies hit the semi permeable film of the catcher. Valerie screeched, her own pitch seeming to match Phantom’s as they passed through.

She hears herself grunt, but it didn’t come from her own throat.

She felt herself groaning, but it sounded much too deep…

"What?" She heard her voice ask. "I- o-oh wait… Valerie!?"

The Huntress in question opened her eyes and blinked a few times staring at her own visor, and it took her a few seconds to realize what exactly she was looking at. Frantically she stands up or at least tries to, given she floated upwards towards the sky. Her robotic suit is now replaced with a black and white skin tight suit.

Phantom on the other hand had instantly felt heavy and hot. But when he saw a semi red tinted version of his own glowing green eyes staring back at him, the sparking ghost catcher in the background…

Well, his first thought was he separated from himself... but he still felt like himself and thought as he normally would… but then... hearing Valerie's voice come out of his own throat?

"Well shit" Danny managed to say smartly

Valerie screamed realizing she was looking at herself, her body, still in her Huntress suit. She waved her arms as she yelled obscenities, joining in Phantom’s own frantic flailing as the ghost boy tried to calm her down.

" Phantom what did you do? How dare you take over my body! Why am I stuck in your gross floaty one?!” The huntress turned ghost screeched.

“You think I planned this? I don’t wanna be a girl! This is your fault you’re the one who threw us through the catcher! You should know by now that m- The Fenton’s inventions do some whack stuff!” Danny argued hauling himself up to his feet properly and flailing his arms in circles to keep balance. He was both not used to being (fully) human as well as having a different centre of gravity, not to mention the suit covering his new form.

This wasn’t like possession at all. With that, it was like wearing a tight suit. It wasn’t too terrible overall but at the same time you instinctively knew how to move within one, this was a whole new experience, like being given stilts and set onto a tightrope and told to cross the canyon, all with an additional fifty pounds strapped to you.

“I can’t even begin to tell you how mad I am at this!” Valerie said as she grabbed onto a crack in the concrete to keep herself from floating away before face planting into the gravel and grunting. Phantom couldn’t help but smirk behind the visor despite himself. “Are you? Because the way I see it you’re the ghost, your anger isn’t real, your feelings are just remnants of what you remember anger to be.” He shot her condescending look that was hidden behind the helmet, but oh! It felt good to throw that back at her.

“What!? No! That is not how this works, ghost!” Valerie screeched out, reaching a rather impressive octave with his vocal cords.

“Actually it completely is. I’m not possessing you, otherwise, my “body”-” He held up his fingers to do the air quotes here “-wouldn’t still be here, and it definitely wouldn’t do this when I overshadow someone.”

“Why you!”

“Hey chill all we gotta do is go back through the-” Danny’s voice dropped off into silence as he stared up at the ghost catcher with a deepening frown. The center where the ethereal ‘thread’ of the catcher was had broken leaving a fancy looking bubble ring at best and a really bad eye of Sauron at worst.

“Okay, New plan we get that fixed and then we can get this whole thing straightened around,'' Phantom said with a firm nod to himself after flailing his hands back and forth to himself and… himself… oh his head was going to hurt.

Valerie yelped as her feet started to sink through the concrete, causing Phantom to snort. “Not so easy is it?” He retorted smugly doing his best impression of a bitchy prep, now that he had the vocal cords for it. Though when he realized that the slow descent into the concrete wasn’t stopping making the asphalt look more like quicksand than anything, Danny rushed forward to grab the ghostly upper arm.

He was glad for once that this suit had anti phase capabilities. Valerie on the other hand had a gambit of emotions cross her face. Confusion and fear were being the most prominent as well as anger.

And how could she not! That ghost had her body, and while he had made the mention of her emotions not being ‘real’ she knew that it was because her brain and whatever her consciousness was made up of was over here in Phantom. He was still the same evil conniving ghost as always and she wasn’t sure how he had planned this, but she just knew that this was a plot of some kind to make her life even more of a hell for her.

Still, phasing through things she could do without. “You have to focus on staying solid as your body, er my body I guess, will naturally want to turn intangible. The same thing with flight, you have to will yourself to stay on the ground, your default is to float so if you want to stay in one spot you have to will yourself there…. It- It’s like have you ever had a lucid dream?”

Valerie blinked at the ghost, her? … at the words before they actually registered. Why would he bother trying to help her? Wouldn't it be easier to have her crippled under a new body and new powers and all the confusion that surrounds it?

“What?” She said after a moment of thought. He had to be tricking her somehow with this right? There’s no way… “As if I’d trust anything you have to say.”

“What?! Don’t be stupid that is my body! I spent long enough accidentally phasing through stuff that I learned how to will myself to work!” Phantom argued indignantly.

"Fine" she snapped out, relenting slightly, but only just. She figured that if, and that's an IF the size of a planet… if he really didn't somehow plan this She supposed it wouldn't hurt to try what he was saying. After all, if she didn't play nice, why knows what crimes he'll commit while inhabiting her body.

Valerie shuddered as a good number of thoughts entered her head about what Phantom could potentially do with her body. Make her look like a fool, ruin her reputation! … What could she do in Phantoms? How was this real? How did that… whatever of the Fentons make this happen? Thinking about this too much would undoubtedly make her head hurt.

Right focus, keep yourself solid. “It’s harder than it looks, you know. Like I said when I had that whole thing with Cujo I couldn’t control myself entirely and controlling him too, well….” Phantom piped up earning a glare from the huntress.

“Shut up!” Valerie roared earning a blast of sound from her jaws as she had the bar start of a ghostly wail.

Phantom squawked and covered his ears, thankful the helmet was still on given it blocked out a good amount of the sound. “Easy your emotions make you- my powers go haywire!”

“Valerie’s eyes widened as she stared at the small trail of destruction she had caused. It… it was that easy to flip over three cars and punch a hole in a building?! And phantom… Phantom held this kind of raw power? Well, now she did... This pure, unrestrained power that was so hard to control and if she focused she could feel it just below the surface in her chest, running outward and under her skin like an electric current, writhing through her veins like caterpillars.

She was disgusted by it… she was thrilled by it… she was genuinely afraid of it…

“Y-You can just…” She trailed off. She didn’t want to say what she had done, what she had just seen, or acknowledge what she was still seeing… that trail of rubble there, she didn’t want to talk about it… as about it, but she had to… and yet, she didn’t want it to be made real by her accepting it...

“Like I said it takes a while to learn control.” Phantom offered simply.

“Stay right where you are spook!” Jack Fenton’s voice was suddenly echoing down the street causing Danny to instinctively throw up his hands before giving an “Oh wait.” and looking to Val with a mix of emotions on his face.

“He’s talking to you” Phantom taunted knowingly. At least Jack was a bit of a ways off, though closing in fast… They had at least a minute for him to get into firing range.

“What no! You’re the ghost!”

“Not from where I’m standing.” Phantom shot back hotly, and he was right… technically… And Valerie really hated that he was right! “We gotta get you, me, US We gotta get outta here!” Phantom stammered out, grabbing the ghost’s arm before bolting down the nearest alleyway. Danny shoved Valerie in his body back deeper into the dark of the alley wincing as he realized she may need to transform. Then again… “How do I use your board?” Phantom half asked half yelled out at the huntress, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look into her own panicked eyes.

“Why should I tell you?!” She spat back indignantly. Thankfully, or rather unluckily depending on how you look at it, an ectoblast shot their way clipping an overhead fire escape and pinging off the metal. Phantom simply threw his arm up towards the scorch mark with a huff of his own. “You wanna feel what those are like?” He says eyes narrowing the visors glow seemed to enhance the effect.

“Ugh fine,” Though it was meant to sound like reluctant compliance, the hitch in the tone gave her worry away. “Just jump into the air and call it up like mentally.”

He huffed and jumped up, only to land back down a second later with a frown. Again he tried going higher in his jump and clicking his heels together, this time it spawned the board but he simply hovered there on it. “And to fly?” Phantom asked ducking out of pure instinct as another ecto shot flew their way.

“Like surfing, or skateboarding Lean the way you want to go, put the pressure on your front foot for up and back for down.” Came the semi-rushed answer. Phantom nodded, grabbed Valerie and shot up like a rocket. The ghost let out a yelp and ended up overcompensating, sending them into a barrel roll as they climbed up into the clouds. By the time he managed to regain control he felt like he was going to barf, but Valerie only looked mildly annoyed. “Electromagnetic boots?” He asked wobbling a bit as he tried to haul his counterpart onto the board.

“Yep,” Came the answer as Valerie settled on the edge of the board with a defeated sigh.

“Just so you know I’m still blaming you for this. The only reason I’m playing nice with you right now is because I know if I don’t you’ll mess up something in my body or my suit.” Valerie hissed after a moment’s silence.

“Right ‘cuz I was totally the one who tackled us through that catcher.” Came the bitter retort. “I wish just once you would listen to me! Those ants are not my fault!”

“Then why bother trying to do anything about it?! Ghosts only want to manipulate people and I know if you’re not responsible for this mess then you’re making hay in the sunshine and taking advantage so that you can force people to view you as a hero,” She spat out making a scrunched face that very much did not belong on Phantom’s features.

“What? No! If I could do that don’t you think I would have?”

“Maybe you’re just not strong enough yet, need more believers or something.”

“You saw what ‘power’ I actually have Valerie, hell you used some of it! And by accident!”

“Well,” She sputtered shifting uncomfortably unable to deny what she had seen, done… what she could still sort of make out from here.

“And what was with the electricity earlier? That is beyond cruel you know! Keeping that up as long as you did!” Phantom raged the cybernetics seeming to respond in kind, a small laser popping out of his shoulder which the former halfa growled at and physically pushed back down to get it to go away.

“You’re a ghost! You don’t feel pain in the same way humans do.” Valery shot back reciting the rote excuse he had heard far too often.

Phantom saw red, and not just because of the visor he was currently forced to wear. So he did the only thing that his brain could think of. He slapped himself in the face. “OW! What the hell Phant-?!”

“Oh shut up! The pain’s all in your head! It’s not real! You’re just imagining it! You’re simply an imprint of who you once were, you’re not a person anymore, and feelings aren’t real because you're not human!” Phantom ranted and raved. When he was done he found himself panting heavily the excursion much more mental but ANCIENTS did it feel good to finally do that and scream and not take out a city block.

“Do you remember your time as Valerie Grey?” he asked after a few moments of getting his breathing in check.

“W-What? Are you stupid of course I do!” Valerie responded instantly, creeped out that the ghost knew her full name and identity but given the display of raw anger she had just witnessed she smartly decided to not bother to hedge that issue just yet. “We only just had this mess happen…” She offered up not fully sure what more to say.

“So you can say you died at that moment, well congrats, you’re no longer the person you once were, you’re not Valerie any longer, you are an imprint of what that person was and your memories of being human mean nothing.” Phantom hissed out lowly. This time he wasn’t shouting, but his tone was the purest sour thing she had ever heard come out of any single person.

“Well, I’m you.” She stated dumbly. Even though she was looking at herself and it was sort of an uncanny valley sort of thing to be looking at she still saw Phantom, raw feral and angry… The fact that she was technically the more powerful of them right now didn’t even register.

“That doesn’t matter, you’re not me you’re a ghost. It doesn’t matter who you were before you’re a ghost now and that’s all they’ll ever see.” He was shaking in barely constrained anger now. Valerie at least had the wherewithal to know that if positions were reversed and she was feeling the fury that the other was putting out, she would have come at the subject of her ire guns blazing...

Valerie opened her mouth and closed it a few times realizing something. She could literally feel the rage and sadness flowing out of the ghost controlling her body. She wanted to believe it was simply that the ghost was in HER body that the emotions were prevalent, but they were far too strong to be imitations…

She knew why she could feel, could taste, the emotions coming out of the other, and how it seemed to give a small boost of energy. It was sort of like eating something really sugary, the small jolt she got with it wouldn’t last long and she knew it instinctively, but the fact it gave a boost at all… Ghosts couldn’t feed on other ghost’s emotions… it’s one of the reasons they attacked humans after all…

She wanted to retort to the spectre snap at him like she always would but she couldn’t find it in herself… she simply felt… deflated... And it wasn’t just because her arm had all but disappeared into a wisp of smoke either…

She swallowed thickly letting the stupid ghost arm do whatever it wanted (why did she have to control these body parts) and took in a deep sigh. “You said the shock was cruel… Why?” She wondered after a moment.

Phantom had somehow managed to figure out how to open and disappear the helmet while Valerie was staring down at her, his, gloved hands, so it was a shock to see the whirlwind of storm clouds behind her own eyes. Phantom was always expressive, but it seemed to hit her harder seeing it on her own face… it looked far too real, too convincing in her own dark eyes.

“Take off the glove, the right one.” He says simply, almost too softly for her to hear.

It confused her, she hadn’t thought a ghost’s clothing could be removed… but, she did. There was little she would have thought to have seen under the glove but this? This wasn’t anything she was prepared for.

The fingers on the hand were deathly pale, but with a green underlay that was especially noticeable in the fingernails. Not a surprise really there… but just before the third knuckles the back of the hand started to deepen looking almost like something you’d find on an eighty year old, or a bit of dried wood one would toss in a fire, before fading back out and becoming the tanned green colour at the wrist that Phantom sported on his face.

Litchendburg scars were obvious and prevalent along the back of the hand, worsening into an almost perfect circle on his palm, about the size of a quarter and indented just a little bit. Now that she was looking at it, it was like his hand was burned clean through on the palm…. And those lightning bolt shaped scars, well, she knew what that meant.

“Death marks,” Phantom says simply almost reading her mind as she stared at the palm. “It’s exactly what you think it was and the scars snake around my arm all the way to my chest…. Kinda figure the whole thing exploded my heart and that’s what actually killed me...”

“And… You remember it?” Valerie asked, eyes widening in realization. Somehow talking to the ghost boy like this with his words coming out of her mouth… it seemed to make this all the more validating to her like she was finally hearing him for the first time… She probably was, now that she’d thought about it…

“Yeah, I remember a lot of my life… not everything mind you but it’s like remembering a dream you had the morning after…” Phantom says softly. That much was true, despite his halfa status, everything from before he became a half ghost was kind of hazy at best and shrouded in a dream like fog at worst. There were some memories he had that if he didn’t see photo evidence for it, he would have chalked it up to a kind of lucid dream…

“Oh,” Valerie said. What could she say to that? “And the ghost powers..? They weren’t innate and instinctual like the Fenton’s say were they?”

“No, it has been a trial by fire since the first day I died…” Phantom responded solemnly

She felt like dirt, and she glared at her whispering body before scrunching up her face and willing herself solid. She couldn’t control what her body was doing, she had no idea how to work any of… this! How many times had Phantom told her it was an accident and she refused to believe him?!

It was only now was she seeing the ghost she had been actively and relentlessly hunting as simply a teen who got thrown in too deep too fast over his head and was trying to make the most of it. Though there was one thing she didn’t quite understand, and she had wondered about it since she had first laid eyes on the odd monochromatic ghost.

“Why do you attack other ghosts at all?” She asked simply giving into her wondering.

“Because I wanna protect the people I left behind…” He answered earnestly

Valerie thought about that, he had said it before sure, but somehow it felt different this time he’d said it. Maybe she was overthinking it now? Or this was the first time she had given it any thought at all?

She stared down at her, at Phantom’s ungloved hand with a frown. Maybe he wanted to protect people to save people because no one came to save him? Almost sounded like too noble a thought to be wasted on some dumb ghost…

She shook her head wanting to end that train and derail it before it even left the station. She knew damn well it was her own anger and brashness that got her into this whole freaky Friday thing, but she would never admit to it aloud...

“How do we fix this?” She asked after a few more beats of listening to the soft whirring of the hoverboard beneath her.

“The Fenton Catcher got us into this, the Fenton Catcher can get us out,” Danny said simply. “IT’s like I was saying earlier. The electricity you were hitting me with overloaded the catcher and made it go haywire but luckily there is a reverse side to the thing, we just gotta hope the Fentons either fix the one that got fried or we hope they have a spare.” Phantom replied candidly. With a hum, the ghost boy tapped a finger on his, her lip.

The action was so normal yet so bewildering to her as she watched herself perform it. It was clearly something unconscious he did, given the thousand yard stare he had going on there… Phantom makes her go crosseyed and she couldn’t help but snort.

Danny knew full well there was a duplicate, well, sort of, of The Catcher in the lab, but the problem was he didn’t know where exactly it was. Secondly, he needed to be sure if it was worth the risk to try and use the catcher 1.0 when it was the updated version that they had been messed up by... The one they also destroyed.

Well… today seemed to be a sharing and show and tell kind of day so, “Valerie, there's an inside pocket on that suit, the zipper is under the collar since you probably can’t phase through yourself with any sort of control… Um, in that pocket there's a cell phone. Can you grab it and hand it to me?”

“You have a cell phone?” She asked her, his, nose crinkling up giving a look that clearly thought he was a stalker or something.

“Yes, a friend got it for me…. And before you say anything... Yes, I have friends, NO they are not evil… mostly, and the cellphone is paid for by them.” Phantom preemptively rattled off holding out his hand expectantly.

Valerie grunted in acknowledgement before fumbling about under the collar of the suit and finding the zipper. “What kind of ghost needs a zipper?”

“Don’t judge, I didn’t get to choose what I died in, you know.” Phantom huffed out impatiently.

Valerie blinked and grimaced, sort of feeling bad about the complaint now, though it was instantly rectified by Phantom’s next comment. “Hey lighten up, just gotta laugh at my grave sense of humour.”

“I will smack you… ugh, I can’t believe I’m undressing a ghost… Here’s your damn phone.” Valerie grumbled pointedly averting her eyes away from the ghost’s bare chest, acting as though she didn’t want to see anything she shouldn’t, in reality, she just didn’t want to see any more scarring and see it as though they were on her body. As it was she’ll be surprised enough if she doesn’t have nightmares.

She was already imagining herself being in Phantom’s spot, burning as you’re being electrocuted. Feeling your heart sputter and stop before being reborn as a ghost confused and lost still remembering everything and knowing you’ve died? She shuddered, and could only hope she would never become a ghost. Having that loom over you every time you saw your reflection didn’t sound like fun at all...

Phantom takes his phone, a flip phone that thankfully, was only ever used for his Phantom needs, and only contained three contacts, Jazz, Sam, and Tucker. Sam paid the bill for him and was a good fail safe if his parents ever punished his human half by taking away his electronics or if he ever had to leave in a hurry he had a secured line that shouldn’t be tied to him really in any way.

And right now it would work to make sure Valerie doesn’t see a phone was the same as Fenton’s. He flipped open the device, the clamshell was indestructible (mostly) and cheap! By Sam’s standards anyhow, fifty bucks may be nothing to her on her allowance but Danny would have to save up a month to get there. HE shook his head from his musings to focus on the task at hand, sending out a message to the group text asking his friends to either convince his parents to fix the ghost catcher or to retrieve the 1.0 version and set it up somewhere for him to try and fix a problem. He left it vague, apart from telling them he wasn’t exactly himself at the moment, which prompted an instant slew of worried texts from the three people in the chat chain but, well, he could deal with that later, he wrangled the ’ghostkateers’ back in and set them on their way. He just had to hope that he could get through this with his alternative identity intact.

“What was all that about?” Valerie asked suspiciously.

Ah, there it was… “I have contact with the Fenton kids… They help me get some of their parents stuff when I need it…. Didn’t you wonder why that Fenton Ghost Catcher was even in the middle of town in the first place?” Phantom said with a raised brow.

Valerie blinked in thought. She honestly hadn’t put that much thought into it. The Fenton adults had said that Phantom stole their stuff all the time and she’d simply left it at that. Why would she have wasted brain power on it? Though the more she thought about it the more she frowned.

Phantom was a ghost so just how had he been stealing things from the ghost hunters when they clearly had made and marketed things that stop and keep out ghosts? Phantom needed someone who could actually grab the stuff he needed, to get through the shields… someone(s) who were on the inside, and given how Danny would sometimes meekly defend Phantom, or how Jazz would sometimes ‘trip up’ her parents when they were going after Phantom, well…

Yeah, she really was blinded by her own rage and prejudices… Star was right on that, she supposed… too pinpointed on the small things that were pissing her off the most to focus on the bigger picture going on around her…

She shook her head before burying it in her hands. Ugh, stupid ghost making her question herself.

Phantom sighed and handed the phone back to her instructing her to tuck it away again. Curious she flipped it open and stared at the passcode ask that popped up. She didn’t even think flip phones had passcodes but whatever. She tried to make it look like she was playing with the phone flipping it and closing it, rather than actually trying to snoop… though the scoff from Phantom told her the ruse was pointless. She sighed and put the phone back where she found it.

Phantom had started grumbling about something under his breath earning a look of confusion from Valerie, though it didn’t take long for her to see what it was he was upset about, as he was trying to get the board to go. Valerie knew she should probably help him but at the same time, she was all too content to simply sit here and sulk.

It was a scream from somewhere below that snapped her from her spiralling thoughts of self depreciation. She instantly noticed two things; firstly how low her glow had become around her arms when she found a particular interest in the stitching in the gloves Phantom wore… and secondly, the scream was almost like a beacon to her, calling her out of her thoughts and making her want to go.

She felt anxious and antsy all of a sudden like she had to go somewhere, but couldn't. Like when one has to pee really bad but it's during a test, that split if need to go need to stay...she didn't know how to get Phantom's flight to work for her, but she wanted to figure out what the screaming was about…

Her legs jostle and bounce as she tries to quell the nervous energy she feels building. Why was she suddenly feeling this way? She steals a glance at Phantom, snorting when she sees him trying to unstick himself from the board but another scream for help pulls her attention back to the ground below.

She could taste the frustration from Phantom and given his growls towards the board he was standing on it was obvious where that was from, but it sort of irked her that he had no urgency about him. Couldn't he hear the screams why weren't they helping!? She had to help! She knew she could so she should! She HAD to even if she didn't know how to help she HAD to… she was compelled to.

"What are you doing? There are people who need help!" She spat feeling her agitation and anxiety rise. Phantom looked to her dumbly before looking down to the ground and noticing the chaos. “Huh…” He said simply eyes lazily roaming the crowd.

“What do you mean ‘huh?’ This is serious!” Valerie didn’t know why but she felt so much like a caged cat right now wanting to get at some prey that was just beyond her reach. She was almost positive that if she could she would be pacing back and forth on that board.

Phantom watched her twitching, her glow brightening and dimming and her anxiousness that made her look like she was getting ready to jump off this board, damned be the consequences, and he slowly felt a smirk form on his face much to the agitation of the huntress currently in his body. “It’s interesting, I mean… I’m watching this and well, I’m doing what you’re doing… it’s almost a relief” He chuckled dryly. “Jeez, guess I’m really not as much of a hero as I thought I was…” He says almost sadly before running a hand through his, her, hair.

“Phantom now is not the time to be cryptic! There are people down there who need …. Help…” Her anger suddenly ebbed away as she realized just what Phantom was getting at. How many times had the ghost told her that he just wanted to help? He always had a desperate insanity to his voice when he was tied down by her or some other ghost and he frantically would do anything he could to get out there to HELP.

“That’s your obsession, isn’t it... “ She clutched at Phantom’s jumpsuit over the ache in her chest where she could feel the ghostly core vibrating violently demanding retribution. It physically hurt, made her want to throw up and she knew the only thing to stop that feeling was to help.

Perhaps that’s why he was always involved, it was exactly the reason he said it was... He literally had no choice but to help when he saw something he could do… Was that why he was often seen helping out with inane tasks? Carrying things for people rescuing people… hell even rescuing a balloon from a tree for a little kid… He was literally trapped in an endless cycle.

Perhaps her earlier ideas of Phantom wanting to help because he didn’t get help when he needed it most wasn’t so far off. But feeling this now, in his body… it was awful to think that if she had gotten herself killed while chasing Phantom or some other ghost, she would be trapped in a similar cycle, but be even less noble… not to say Phantom was noble but that her ‘quest’ was rather unnoble.

“Yeah… guess it is…” Phantom answered sourly as he stared down at the chaos. He wanted to be a hero, he thought he was, he was helping people, saving people, after all right? Though thinking about this revelation…? It seemed to sour the point of him being a hero. If he wasn’t making the choice to help and to save people but being forced to do it… Was he really a hero?

His shoulders slumped as he watched the ghosts attack below. Even still now, he could make the choice right? He may not have his usual repertoire of powers he was used to but Red still had her suit, the suit he was currently occupying.

And looking to the huntress in his body he couldn't help but smirk. At least she would finally be more focused on saving people than shooting him. "Like a skateboard ya said right?" He asked, suddenly earning a bewildered look from the huntress.

She caught on quickly though, the small smirk appeared on her lips though it looked more conniving on Danny's face. "Yeah, and you think about the guns you want to will them out of the cybernetics." She added.

"For Ectoblasts, do you feel that cold spot in your chest, my chest?" At her nod, he continues. "Force that out and down your arm, gather it in your palm and let it go." He explained eyes narrowing.

Valerie caught on and nodded. "I'll take the left side you take right?" She asked eagerly, wanting to help the people below, not caring that she would be working with Phantom to get it done.

He was making a choice this time. Even if it wasn't him who would be hailed as the hero, given his current attire and whatnot but he wasn't being forced to make this decision. That had to count for something right?

He grunted as he fumbled around his head trying to put the helmet back up over his head. It takes him a few moments but he was able to get it eventually. He gives a nod and after a few experimental wiggles, he manages to get the hoverboard to sputter forward. He manages to move a little smoother by the time he gets closer to the ground willing out a blaster, he was hoping for something with a little more oomph but well, a wrist blaster worked too he supposed. He sees an ant ghost and fires, following up with more and more taking care of all in his sightlines. He gives a small "sorry!" As he almost knocks someone over but otherwise he seemed to be getting somewhere.

Valerie on the other hand had stood up into a sort of half crouch and was frantically waving her arm around trying to build the power in her blast hoping she could manage at least one shot. With a growl, she manages to get her hand to glow a bit green, which was progress, but not enough to create an effective attack. She shook her hand again, smacking her wrist a bit as though it were a buggy flashlight, before she was able to send out something a little more decent.

“Heh got ya!” She called out grinning at her mitt of ectoplasm, She may have only burned a hole through a street sign but hey, she got a hit on something so she was still going to count it as a win. “Over here!” Danny perked up hearing Jazz call pointing to the ghost catcher 1.0. Suppose it was better than nothing. He hoped it would do to only have themselves go through the catcher again and not have to recreate the whole process because, ow. The ghost turned huntress pitched a bit sharply earning a growling reprimand from Valerie, though it was quickly rectified by him blasting an ant ghost that was getting ready to jump at them.

It let out a horrid caterwauling noise, something that made their ears ring from the sound, “Ugh that’s worse than your screaming.” Phantom commented wincing a bit behind the visor, sighing in relief when the noise went silent.

“Ugh, really?” Valerie shot back though she could just make out the playful smirk that was showing on his face. Valerie opened her mouth to retort only to yelp as they pitched a hard right turn and went skyward. She didn’t need to ask why as the large queen ant ghost emerged from the ground.

The thing was as tall as a small building and as long as a transport truck. And the thing let out a wail that sounded like a mix of a lion and a hog squealing. “Well… That’s bigger than I thought it would be... “ Phantom said with a frown. “I don’t know if I can beat this thing in your body… We gotta get to that catcher!” He called.

The ant queen let out another roar and sent a bit of... Acidic goo... Vomit... stuff towards them. Valerie didn’t want to think too hard on it. Honestly, it looked like ecto snot but came out of what she hoped was the and queens mouth… “Ugh nasty.” She complained watching as the wad of snot sailed over them and into a building, melting it a bit.

“Yeah, let’s not get hit by that…” Phantom agreed, watching the brick melt away. “I need shields and you need to get your guns back.” He said scanning the ground around the queen to search for where the Catcher had landed.

“There!” Valerie seemed to catch on to what he was looking for and pointed it out spotting it first. At least they were in agreement on the fact they needed to swap back sooner rather than later.

Phantom leaned forward urging the board on towards the catcher hoping they would manage it in one swoop. Alas, it was not to be as the queen jumped into the air up at them, let out a roar before massive wings sprouted from her back smacking Danny and Valerie off the board, the electromagnetic functions in the huntresses suit doing nothing against the force of that hit.

They plummet downwards and Phantom tries to call out to the board but it doesn’t come for him. “Valerie fly!” He tries desperately, staring down to the fastly approaching ground. “Will yourself to fly!”

Valerie gasped out herself grunting as Danny flailed her body about before managing to cling to her. “I’m trying!” She shoots back angrily. She lets out a whine and closes her eyes in concentration before the glow around the ghostly body flares and they level out and tip upwards, earning a whoop of delight from Phantom.

“Head for the Catcher!” Phantom tells her.

“Again I’m trying you ectoplasmic pice of-”

Whatever she was going to say was cut off as they, by some miracle, had managed to head straight through the catcher. The pairs’ screams mix together and they end up on a heap on the other side with Jazz blinking down at them. “Did it work?” The ginger teen asked.

“Ow... Jazz?” Danny grumbled out. He raised a hand to his head to rub at his forehead and gave a pained whooped when he was able to see the glowing glove at the end of his limb. He offers a half hearted smile up to his sister before glaring at the queen who was being distracted by Sam and Tucker from wherever they had found cover in the nearby broken buildings.

“I got better at aiming I guess?” Jazz offered to give a hand to help up her half ghost brother. “I moved the Catcher to um, Catch you. I’m glad you didn’t smash into the metal siding, that would have hurt…”

“Thanks, Jazz I owe ya one,” Phantom says with a nod. “Get anyone who’s not protected out of here!” And with that Phantom flew off to attack the Queen ant.

Valerie was quick to pick herself back up and tar off after Phantom. “This is a temporary truce I hope you know!” She calls as she catches her board and flies off after the ghost, though even as she said it lacked her usual vitreal.

Thankfully once they were back in their own skin they made short work of the queen ant ghost, and even managed to not cause too much more property damage.

As Danny caps the thermos, he side eyes the Red huntress next to him in the air and offers the teen a hesitant hand. “I’m not gonna ask you to forgive me again but… maybe hesitant colleagues?”

Red eyed the ghost before her, his hesitant but hopeful smile that didn’t quite hide the worry and fear behind his eyes struck her more than anything. She used to think he was simply good at mimicking emotions but now… having felt them being him, herself? Well… she supposed the saying is true that you really can’t understand someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. His emotions felt real, on both sides she could taste the ones he was putting through her body, She felt pain when she was slapped by him… And she was finally able to see him as just another teen that was in over his head…. Dog ruining her life or not, though looking back on it now she had to admit it was something she was thankful for in a way.

She would see Paulina and her A list brainless wonders and know she used to be one of them. Caring too much about the wrong things and ruled by money in a way… Now? She knew she had to work to get anywhere, people liked her for her, not just her status and well… She had a purpose she could be proud of now.

“Yeah, Colleagues sounds like a good start… But step even a toe outta line and I will smear your ectoplasmic innards all over town.” Valerie threatened though she was teasing Phantom still grimaced as she grasped his hand. “Eh, I think I’ll take that…” he replied somewhat nervously.

“Good. Also… Maybe since you have one, I should give you my cell number… Case you ever need more than just some inventions as a backup.”

Phantom visibly brightened at that his glow got brighter and he grinned. “Yeah, that’d be perfect actually! Maybe we can trade off patrol routes and stuff too? Give each other a night off once in a while? I know you work so… ya know…?”

Valerie snorted but she appreciated the gesture nonetheless. She looks around before pulling a random piece of paper from off of the ground and using some piece of charcoal from who knows what that exploded she managed to scribble down her number.

Phantom bit his tongue as he almost told her he had her number already, or that if he needed it he could easily get it with Tucker’s help but that wouldn’t do him any good now. He made it this far without blowing his secret, he wasn’t about to blow it on something stupid like this!

Though it did make him wonder why Valerie hadn’t changed back to Fanton at all accidentally. He sure as hell did constantly when he first started out, it was a nightmare and resulted in far more detentions than he would have liked… Well, maybe she just didn’t think it was a possibility? He didn’t want to think too hard on that right now honestly, it brought with it too many questions.

He took the paper from the huntress when she offered it and nodded to her in thanks. “See ya around ghost brat.” She said, almost endearingly before speeding off, no doubt to sleep.

Phantom watches her go a moment before heading off on his own way back towards where his friends were waiting for him. Oh they had angry looks didn’t they, fun…

He had a hell of an experience to tell, and some things he wanted to get advice on… he hated being the embodiment of an existential crisis all the time, but hey, at least it was interesting right?

He just hoped Val keeps her new attitude. He’d rather work with her than have to dodge her blasts all the time after all…. And a few nights off here and there sounded wonderful.

Only time will tell, he supposed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.- Complete

Total word count: 8875

#phic phight 2021 #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #valerie #red huntress #Switcheroo #Team Ghost

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deathisanartmetzli · 3 years

Text

A Safe Place || Bex & Metzli

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @INBEXTWEEN @DEATHISANARTMETZLI

SUMMARY: Bex needed somewhere to go, and Metzli’s door was open.

CONTAINS: Domestic abuse mentions, internalized transphobia

Bex was halfway home when she realized she didn’t want to go home. She was a mess. Bloody palm, teeth scrapes on her neck, covered in dirt. Mina would hear her come in and even if they weren’t talking, she was sure she’d hear the slow footsteps up the stairs and down the hall, and maybe even see the dirt caked on her skin or the blood on her clothes. At least it wasn’t her still broken hand. Small favors, she supposed. And she was exhausted beyond belief. The way her heart beat in her chest made it hard to breathe, and she’d had to stop more than once to sit on a bench and catch her breath. It burned, but she just supposed it was how much magic she’d used. Too much. She could feel that. She’d used too much again. She needed to stop doing that, but she couldn’t seem to help it. Her anger was consuming her, egged on by the nightmares that plagued her sleep-- of her mother, of her death, of everything they’d done to her. She scraped the back of her hand across her eyes and stood back up, glancing around. She had nowhere to go. She had one place to go.

Bex was standing outside Metzli’s apartment complex before she realized she’d started walking there. She looked up, then glanced around, before pushing the door open and making her way up the stairs. Down the hallway, a door opened and Metzli popped out, a look of concern on their face. Bex stopped, waved. “Can I um-- can I come in?”

Bex’s scent pooled through the open balcony door. Yuca was lounging, enjoying the night air as Metzli sat at their gaming desk, shooting at rookie nerds. Their spine straightened as the scent grew stronger. It was a mixture of blood and dirt, forcing their focus away from the game, and rushing to the door. She was already down the hallway when their door opened to reveal a very disheveled Bex. “Y-yeah. Come in.” They stood aside and Yuca ran up to their legs, rubbing against Bex as they shut the door. “Go ahead and sit on the couch. I’ll go get you some clothes.”

Metzli shuffled to their room, opening their casual-wear drawers and pulling out a large hoodie and some shorts. Making a stop at the bathroom, they grabbed a first aid kid and a wet cloth before kneeling beside Bex on the couch and placing the clothes on the coffee table. “What happened?” Voice was soft and careful, raising the wet cloth to her face and pausing before they began to wipe away residual dirt and blood. It smelled good, but not good enough to pull them away from the severity of the situation. The bite marks made them want to growl, be angry that someone would do that. But they had no right. “You don’t have to tell me. I’m just...I’m glad you’re alive at least.”

Bex walked in behind them silently, holding her arms against her body and trying to calm her erratic heart beat. She was just still wired from the encounter, that was all. Adrenaline was obviously still pumping through her, otherwise she was sure she would’ve passed out by now. She looked at Metzli’s couch and remembered sitting on it just a week ago and feeling happy. For a split second, she had been so happy. She blinked and glanced off towards the door Metzli had disappeared behind, but didn’t sit yet. “I don’t wanna...get blood all over your couch,” she muttered, but her legs argued otherwise. She sat on the edge of it, holding herself still, hoping she wasn’t getting too much mess on their couch. Yuca was rubbing at her legs but she didn’t reach down to pet her.

“Um…” she started, paused, trying not to flinch as Metzli dabbed a wet rag on her dirty face. Was their blood on her face? She wasn’t sure. “A lot.” Now that she was sitting and could relax, she realized she was still pretty drunk. The world was tilting back and forth behind Metzli. “It’s kinda a long story…” she held out her bleeding palm, still slick with fresh blood. “We ended up in the woods and I scraped my hand and there were these giant, like, bull creatures and they were chasing us and I had to use magic to get away, but Milo was, like, I don’t know. He just jumped at me and tried to bite me and it’s my fault, really. I’m the one that led us out there and I think I fell and scraped my hand and that’s why I’m bleeding. But I ran when he tried to bite me and I-- Left him there! What if something happened to him? I have to go back and get him,” she suddenly insisted, trying to stand.

Anger bubbled and created a heat in Metzli’s chest, but they kept their composure. “No, Bex. You’re in no condition to go back out there.” Their hands hovered over Bex and then gently pushed her back down. They didn’t want to scare her or make her angry. The last few times they’d done so, they were met with a painful outcome. “Milo can take care of himself, but if you want me to go out there, I’ll go.” Sincerity showed in their eyes and they lifted Bex’s hand back up to clean her palm. Most of the dirt and blood had been cleaned off, so they took out the alcohol and bandages to patch her up.

“It sounds like you ran into biesy, though. And none of this is your fault. Knowing Milo, he was probably all in.” Metzli said with their brows creased together in unrelenting concern. Had she even forgiven them? Is that why she was comfortable being there? They held that uneasiness in their mind until that desire for absolution became a wish. But wishes couldn’t be granted, and they were prepared to wait until Bex showed up at their door.

Metzli wrapped a bandage around Bex’s hand and used butterfly bandaids for her smaller cuts. “I’m surprised you came here. But I guess you didn’t want Mina to see you like this. And find out your other vampire friend wanted a taste. Why did he anyway? That’s not...that’s not like him.” There was a place reserved for Milo in their concern, but in witnessing Bex’s condition, he was put further back for the time being.

“No, it is, it is my fault,” Bex argued, no struggling at all when Metzli pushed her back down to the couch. She looked at them with wide, worried eyes, red-shot and welling with tears. “I stormed off and he just followed me, we were just having a nice time in the cemetery and I got so mad, I wanted to-- to find Roy. I wanted to yell at him. I just wanted to make my anger go away. It’s my fault, really.” And it was, and she believed that, and she needed someone else to blame her, too. Did Milo blame her? She hoped he did. She looked back down as Metzli started bandaging the cuts, and Bex thought about all the injuries her body had incurred. She was so careless with herself, with her body. She knew it was partially out of shame but more and more she realized it was out of punishment. She was punishing herself. She didn’t know how to stop.

“Yes! Yes, those-- the things with the third eye. You told me not to look at it and I didn’t. I-- I wanted to, but I didn’t. But it was trying to kill us and then more showed up and I didn’t know what to do.” Her body began to shake, something she couldn’t seem to control in her state. Exhausted and drunk and panicking. Her brows knit together.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” she answered quietly, the painful truth. “I...had nowhere else to go.” She looked down at her bandaged palm. “I was bleeding. He probably just-- he was just as panicked and scared as me. It was probably just overwhelming.” The scent of her blood. Metzli had said her blood was rare, that it probably smelled really good to other vampires. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go.”

Fists clenched tightly at the sound of Roy’s name. Even when he wasn’t actively hurting her, he had an effect on Bex. “No, Bex. No more blaming yourself. Let’s be done with that. At least for tonight. Just be happy you have a friend that cares enough to go after you.” Metzli gave her a reassuring smile and sat next to her on the couch. Her heart was still racing incredibly fast, way too fast for someone who had been resting on the couch. Before they could mention something about it, the topic of the biesy caught their attention for a little longer.

“Yeah, that’s the thrall. And they usually are in packs. I’m just glad you made it here.” As Bex began to tremble, Metzli scooted closer and outstretched a hand for her to take. Letting her have the option to accept or deny their offer. Her heart echoed in their mind more, rapid and too erratic. “Bex, how does your chest feel?” They blurted out, dismissing everything else she had said. The fear of something else being wrong outweighed everything else. “You can always come here. I have a guest bedroom. But, seriously. Your heart hasn’t calmed down at all and it’s uneven. Do you need water?”

Bex looked down at Metzli’s outstretched hand, watched them scooting closer. She shied away, curling her arms back around herself. It was her fault, she didn’t deserve this kindness. Someone needed to show Milo this kindness, not her. She wasn’t worth it. “Yeah…” she murmured, swallowing thickly and finding her throat tight again. She wasn’t sure she deserved Milo’s friendship, especially not after what happened tonight.

She looked over at Metzli, confused. “My--” then she remembered, through her drunk haze, that vampires had super hearing. Metzli could hear her heart and how strangely it was beating. “Oh. No, it-- I’m fine.” She was just still anxious, that was all. “Water...yeah. Maybe, that-- that’s probably a good idea, water.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d drank water. Or eaten. The days were all blurring into one and she knew she needed to do something about it but she couldn’t bring herself to, when the weight in her chest felt as if it were dragging her down. “I, um-- thank you. For…” all of it, she supposed, “just thank you.”

Nodding, Metzli went to grab a glass of water and grabbed hummus and pita chips they had purchased for the movie night. “You don’t have to thank me. What are friends for?” They smiled warmly and placed the food on the table while handing the glass over to Bex. “Hopefully that helps. But seriously. It’s like palpitations. You might wanna get that checked out.” Being worried was extremely uncommon, and very strange for them, but it was something they were beginning to get used to when it came to Bex.

They wanted to try again, try reaching out for her hand and comfort her, but she had shied away once already. Pressing her wouldn’t do any good. “Good thing I don’t sleep, huh? Oh, do you wanna change? I brought out these clothes for you. They might be a little big but super comfy.” With a sigh, Metzli turned their head from the lack of light from the monitor. Groaning, they walked over and shut everything off before going back to the couch.

“You can even shower if you want. I have lots of extra stuff in the guest bathroom.”

Bex gave what she hoped was a smile, prickling at her face like a crack. “Yeah,” she mumbled, taking the glass of water and drinking a good bit of it. It certainly helped make her throat feel less like it was closing up, and she inhaled deeply, holding it a moment. “It’s fine, it’s been doing this a while,” she explained, and she wasn’t sure that was relieving to hear or not, but it was fine. It had to be. Of course it was fine. Her chest was fine and so was her heart, she just needed sleep, actual sleep. When was the last time she’d actually slept well? She had no idea. She couldn’t remember.

She watched Metzli groan and walk over to their computer, shutting it down, and felt a spike of guilt. “I-- I’m sorry. Did I interrupt? You don’t have to stop. I can just-- I can go. Or go somewhere else. I’m quiet, I won’t bother you. I’m good at being unnoticed.” She looked at the clothes Metzli had brought out for her and reached out, pausing. “I--” she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to leave or go home. She curled her fingers into the cloth of the hoodie. “Can I stay here?” she asked suddenly. “For the night? I-- I don’t want to go home.”

Head tilted in confusion, not knowing why Bex would ever think she could interrupt anything. “What? No. Destroying teenagers at that game gets boring. And…” Metzli slapped their hand to their face. “Bex, that sounded so sad. But, same.” They laughed and realized they were still in their business casual clothes from their earlier trip. As they walked to their room again, to change, they spoke from within its walls. “Yeah, you can stay here. Guest bedroom is down the hallway behind the couch. Along with the bathroom.”

When they came out, they sported attire most didn’t get to see them in. In fact, not even their one night stands got to. They wore a hoodie crop top and shorts, typical night clothes when they were home. Suits were a staple they adored, but hoodies always made them feel so comfortable when they were lounging about. “Be honored. You’d be the first guest. I don’t even bring ladies here.”

“I--” Bex started, then stopped. “It’s not sad, that’s just-- the way I grew up. Being small was safe. It still feels safe…” She watched Metzli again, the world slowing down around her, as they headed into their bedroom. The door was closed, but she still turned her gaze away, knowing they were changing. Instead, she fiddled with the clean clothes Metzli had gotten for her, holding up the hoodie and already knowing she was going to be swimming in it. Somehow, that made her feel...comforted. She loved wearing Mina’s hoodies, they were usually just the right size for her, too. This felt different. She almost wanted to tug it on overtop her bloody blouse, but looked up, instead, when Metzli came back out.

Bex almost immediately blushed. She was stuck staring, unable to control most of her actions thanks to the alcohol still in her system. “You-- oh. That’s-- you’re-- nice. That’s nice. You’re nice,” she stuttered, her voice raising in octave. She coughed, cleared her throat. “For letting me stay here. You’re nice for--I’m gonna--” she pointed towards the bathroom, hopped up from the couch, a little too quickly, and the world spun, and she toppled over the coffee table towards the floor.

In a flash, Metzli reached out and caught Bex before she could land on the floor. “Swooning over my good looks so much that you’re falling? Damn Bex. Contain yourself.” It was a pitiful attempt at a joke when their voice was clearly shaky and concerned. A chuckle was just as trembled, pulling Bex up and helping her to the bathroom. “I’ve got ya, don’t worry.”

The door opened slowly and the light flicked on, revealing a magazine perfect bathroom that had clearly gone unused. “Clothes are on the counter,” Metzli ushered her in and kept a hold of her until she reached the counter. “Keep the door open. I’ll stay turned around, don’t worry.” They swiveled their body to face away and waited patiently. “So…you think I look nice?” A laugh escaped, trying to keep the energy light.

Bex stumbled into Metzli’s arms and clung to them, closing her eyes as the world started spinning again. “I’m okay! I’m okay. I just-- drank too much. I think.” She didn’t move for a moment-- Metzli’s skin was cold, their grip strong, and it felt nice against her over-worked, flushed body. Her cheeks flushed even more so. “I-- no! That wasn’t because-- I mean it’s not that I-- it was the alcohol,” she stuttered, swallowing. She righted herself quickly, still holding onto them as the helped her down the hallway to the bathroom, stumbling inside to the counter.

She turned to look back at them, eyes wide, suddenly nervous. Her heart stammered. “No! No, close the door. I’ll be fine. Just-- close the door.” Her entire body stiffened as she held herself up on the counter. “Please.” Even if they didn’t turn to look, the embarrassment-- no, the shame-- Bex felt about her body wouldn’t let her move until the door was closed. She looked at them with pleading eyes. “I’ll be okay, I promise.” Then, quieter, “you do look nice.”

The sound of Bex’s heart and her scared voice mixed together made Metzli jump and turn back around. Eyes met briefly before they shut the door. “Sorry, Bex. I just—I was just trying to be safe. I’ll wait out here.” With a sigh, they waited patiently outside the door. Bex’s heart was still running rampant, making them worry more. This love that they felt for her felt like such a weakness due to its innate vulnerability. But as they stood there, caring for Bex and bringing themselves to be there for her, it felt more like it was okay to be vulnerable. Love was a currency that worked best in reverse. And the only way to be wealthy with it, was to give more of it. The two had shared very sensitive moments, and it was with great fortune that the two were able to do that.

“I’m gonna wait on the couch. Give you more privacy, okay?” Metzli figured with them standing there, Bex may still feel self-conscious. Especially if she had to go to the bathroom. Steps receded away from the door and made it to the coffee table where they picked up the glass to refill. Yuca was lounging on her little couch. Her body rose and fell deeply as she slept, and they held onto the smile as they refilled the cup and settled back onto the couch. Regardless of the circumstances that brought Bex over, Metzli was just happy to see her again.

Bex waited until she heard Metzli’s footsteps stop before she began pulling her shirt off stiffly. Her arms burned still, with the exhaustion the magic had taken from her. She sighed, setting it on the sink and looking into the mirror. The scars that Kyle had given, what felt like so long ago now, still stood out against her pale skin. She ran her fingers over them, feeling the soft, scarred flesh that had healed there. She was only alive because of Nell. The burn scars over her heart, from when Frank had electrocuted her. Again, she was only here because of Nell. She owed so much to other people. Who did she owe for being alive tonight?

She turned on the shower before pulling the rest of her dirty clothes off and stepping into the hot water. It burned, but in that relaxing way, that made her muscles unclench and her shoulders relax. It stung a little against the cuts, but she didn’t mind. Pain was a reminder she was alive. And she wanted to be alive. There were people who needed her alive.

She didn’t stay in too long, throwing on the hoodie and shorts Metzli had gotten for her and glancing one last time at herself in the mirror. The bags under her eyes were more visible, now, without all the dirt caked on her face. She looked...like nothing had even happened tonight. Silently, she opened the door and made her way out to the living room where she found Metzli on the couch.

Without really saying much, she climbed onto the couch next to them, and lowered herself, setting her head on the side of Metzli’s lap. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Metzli stiffened, unsure what to do. After a second of contemplation, they looked down at Bex and nodded. “Any time.” They gave her a wry smile and looked at her in their clothes. “Those really do wear you. You sure they’re comfy? I can try to find something else. Maybe something more your size.” Bex’s comfort felt important after the night she had. Even if they couldn’t erase it, even if they couldn’t fix it, they wanted to at least make it easier. She looked tired, so tired and beaten down. From the night and from all the stressors pulling her at the seams.

A hand lifted up, moving a stray strand of hair covering Bex’s face before abruptly recoiling. They wanted to soothe her, brush her hair with their hands, but that wasn’t their place. “Sorry. I don’t know how to do this. Um, what do you want me to do? Or, what do you want to do?” Metzli asked, a little worried there might be repercussions for their invasion of space.

Shoulders fell and they looked away, letting their eyes fall onto Yuca. Eyes remained there, as their arm moved to the backrest of the couch and their other hand tapped on the armrest. Bite marks littered their hips and neck, but they were long forgotten since they were usually covered up with form fitting suits. They hadn’t expected the company to visit, let alone see them in the more revealing clothes they reserved for lounging purposes only.

“They’re fine,” Bex answered, curled up on her side. She was staring at the empty TV screen across from them, wishing none of this had happened. If they’d never made that promise, Bex never would have gone out with Milo tonight, and she never would have had to use so much magic, and she never would have had to see Milo lunge for her throat. She closed her eyes. Shivered when Metzli brushed some hair from her face, remembering how gentle Mina always was when she did the same thing. She missed her touch. She missed being touched by her. “Can we just...stay here?” she asked quietly, not moving. “Just for a bit.” She didn’t want to move anymore.

Silence descended, except for Yuca’s little engine like purrs. They were oddly relaxing, and after a bit, Bex shifted, laying her head further on their lap. “Why do you have bite marks?” she asked, finally breaking the quiet.

“Yeah, we can stay here.” Metzli said with a soft voice. Pulling out this phone, they connected to their Google Homes around their apartment. Gentle piano played through the speakers, quietly and soothing. “Do you want me to, uh, play with your hair? I’ve seen it done in movies and stuff. But I can just be quiet. And you can fall asleep on the couch...” Their breath hitched as her head got further on their lap. It was nerve wracking but also soothing to know she was beginning to trust them again. A hand reached forward to brush her hair, but stopped midway. Comforting wasn’t something they were sure how to do.

With the silence broken and her question asked, Metzli laughed and lifted their hoodie more to touch the bite marks. There were three total on their abdomen, and many more were on their neck and legs. “Oh. Right. Uh, Macleod. She uh…she likes to be a little rough. We’ve become some fuck buddies of sorts. And with her unable to feel as much…yeah.” They couldn’t help but cover their face, a little embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, though. I’m still very much available.”

Bex shook her head gently. “This is okay,” she mumbled. She curled her hands up against her chest, the hoodie sleeves covering them up to her finger tips. It was warm and soft, but it had no smell. Not like the way Mina’s always smelled of fresh dew and vanilla. She supposed that maybe it was unfair of her to lay on them without letting them reciprocate any affection, but she just wanted to feel close to someone. To something solid. Someone solid. She wasn’t sure being touched would go over as well as she wanted it to, even if she missed it. Even if she craved it.

Bex turned her head enough to look up at Metzli. She was still quite drunk and she blinked away the spinning ceiling behind Metzli’s head. “I know what fuck buddies means,” was what she said, her voice sounding as if it were coming from a different source in her own head, “and you wish.” She turned to rest her head back on their leg, closing her eyes. She wrapped her good hand around their leg. “Maybe in another life,” she mumbled absently, “though I did promise Mina I’d love her in our next life.”

“Yeah, I know you know.” Metzli waved vaguely at the air and rolled their eyes. It laid gently on Bex’s head, stroking her hair before they came to their senses and jutted their hand away. “S-Sorry. I got distracted.” Arms went back to their respective resting places. Worry took over their mind that they went too far. She didn’t want to be touched and their heart wanted to do nothing more than give her the affection that helped them. But what makes them feel better didn’t help everyone. “Idiot. Think before you act!” Their mind yelled at them, so they occupied themselves by turning off the music and turning on the tv with their phone. The tv came to life, playing One Day at a Time.

“Now you wish, Bex. I’m very picky. Maybe you’re not even my type. And I’m sure you’ll have her in the next life. Connections like yours have a way of breaking through lifetimes. Cute shit, really.” Metzli laid their head back and closed their eyes. Sleep would not overtake them, but it was nice to keep the light out. It was nice to feel the pressure of Bex’s head on their lap and her embrace around their leg. “Do you feel okay? Like, safe?” The question surprised them, meaning to only keep it within their mind. But they truly wanted to know if they were doing okay at being Bex’s friend.

Bex scoffed. “I’m so your type,” she said. She didn’t know if that was true, but she knew it would make Metzli squirm. She hadn’t moved when they absently stroked her hair, and she found that, maybe, she didn’t mind it as much as she thought she might. She didn’t know if that was good or bad, though. Up until now, the only person she’d let touch her like this was Mina, and occasionally Morgan. She didn’t look back at Metzli, but shifted her head just a little. “You can...keep doing that.” She just wanted to feel comfortable for the night. For one night. She just wanted to sleep. She didn’t think she’d really be able to sleep.

Bex nodded. She did feel safe here. Her mind had brought her here without even thinking when she’d felt she had nowhere else to go, so it had to mean something, right? She drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “I do,” she said, and her voice was quieter now. She wanted to sleep so badly. The TV noise was just static in the background as her eyes finally closed. “I’m safe,” she mumbled, already falling into sleep.

“Pretty and rich? Yeah. I have room for that type in my wheelhouse.” Metzli snickered and their eyes became so warm and gentle. As always, Bex was the only person who could bring this out of them. They loved her, and all they wanted to do was take care of her and help her through whatever she needed them for.

A lump formed in their throat at Bex’s approval. Not out of sadness, but out of how much it meant. For someone like Bex and Metzli, receiving touch had to come when they allowed it. And the gentlest of hands were not accepted easily. Slowly, Metzli let their hand travel to Bex’s scalp, hovering for just a few moments before fingers brushed through her hair. They listened as her breathing grew deeper and steadied into a slow tempo. Before long, her body went completely limp, but Metzli continued their affections. “I’ll always be here, Bex. From now on, you’ll be safe with me.”

#wickedswriting #a safe place #chatzy #bex and metzli #domestic abuse tw #internalized transphobia tw

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