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ncteez · 10 months

Text

homewrecked. (j.ww)

Wonwoo doesn’t seem to realize that you’re giving him the best option out of a relationship that doesn’t even involve you. With a cheating best friend on one side, and a loyal Wonwoo loving her from two hours away on another, you decide that home wrecking isn’t always a bad idea. or the one where wonwoo fights internal demons over wanting you bc he’s in a relationship that he doesn’t even realize is falling apart.

ao3 | m.lists | leave feedback and reblog to give wonwoo a boner

minors do not interact.

WORDCOUNT― 12k

PAIRING― wonwoo x afab reader

CONTENT― toxic relationships, fluffy sex?? like it’s very intimate

WARNINGS― infidelity, there’s some angst but it gets fixed with fucking, mentions of reader having tits that jiggle and she’s also shorter than him, alcohol consumption

NOTE― will i ever stop writing smut from his point of view? probably not. we love to know what a man is thinking while he’s balls deep. anyway, this ain’t proof read bye.

smut tags under cut::

smut tags― big dick wonwoo, making out, leg humping lmao, finger fucking, oral [m receiving], “IT’S NOT FUCKING, IT’S MAKING LOVE!!!”, cliche “omg ur pussy was like, meant for me”, mating press position, unprotected sex, cream pie, he’s in love bro–

Wonwoo didn’t know why he needed you so badly and the thoughts ate him up. Day after day, watching you dangle yourself in front of him like you don’t know he’s definitely not the type to take you up on the offer.

The issue is that he would take up the fucking offer if you had done this five months ago before he entered into a long distance relationship with your best fucking friend. She moved out of town, and two hours wasn’t going to stop him from pursuing that relationship. You, however, you were definitely going to make him stop pursuing. Why? Because your best friend is a bitch, and it’s not like she hasn’t texted you about all of the dicks she’s been sucking since she left.

Why not give him the revenge he doesn’t know he needs?

He can feel his eyes burning holes through that thin shirt you're wearing and at this point, it’s painful to try and pretend he doesn’t stare. Even more painful to pretend he’s being nonchalant about it each time you get a little too close to him, each time you bend over directly in front of him, and surely each time you decide not to wear a bra while wearing said thin shirt.

He doesn’t understand why he keeps showing up for you. Before, it was because you were a mutual friend between him and his girlfriend. You were cool, laid back, and fun to hang out with. His girlfriend never seemed to mind when the two of you would hang out alone, then again that was quite a rare occasion before she moved away. Now though, hanging out with you seems to have far more intent behind it than just avoiding boredom on a weekend. Now, you appear to be more interested in what he has to say, what he looks like, how he’s feeling.

Wonwoo can’t quite pin point the moment in time where you started acting this way, but he sure as fuck can pin point the first day you seemed off around him. He thought he was thinking too hard, wondering why you knocked on his door on a cold December evening with no jacket on, but wonderful cleavage offering firm jiggles with each shiver.

It got to the point that by the time spring hit, and he was still hanging out with you on the regular, that he was almost annoyed that the temperature got warmer. Sure, it was more of a reason for you not to wear clothes, but it doesn’t feel as intentional when you’re quite literally dressing for the weather.

Still, you’re here again. In his apartment, sprawled out on his couch with the remote in your hand as if this is your own space. You really do make yourself at home, a little too at home. No bra under that thin shirt, the air conditioning raising goosebumps on your skin and perking up your nipples each time you lift your arms up for a long and audible stretch for him to surely suffer over later.

Hanging out with you shouldn’t feel like this, because he has a girlfriend.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asks from the kitchen, pretending that the two of you don’t seem like a couple on your own, as if he wasn’t just texting his actual girlfriend.

“Dunno,” You shrug, turning your head to look at him and noting his slow response of bringing his eyes from your tits to your face. “We should go out.”

His heart thumps heavily at those words but is very quick to realize that you’re absolutely not asking to be his girlfriend right now.

“Huh?” He asks nonchalantly, averting his eyes back to his near-empty cabinets with a huff.

“Like, go out? To a bar? A restaurant? A club?”

He lets his arms fall from the cabinet as he closes it in defeat and makes his way to throw himself onto the couch next to you.

“You, of all people, should know I don’t go out anymore.” He retorts in a long sigh, averting to the fact that those are options for single men or couples that seek those kinds of experiences together.

“Why not? She still goes out.”

The first secret is out, though you kind of assumed he knew already.

“Oh? Does she?” He asks, seemingly not too bothered. “That’s good, she deserves to go out and meet people considering she moves to a brand new city.”

You nod in agreement, rolling your eyes up to look at his living room ceiling.

“Come on, she knows I’d be there to fend off any girls trying to get in your pants.” You argue with him, or rather, you try to convince him.

“And you plan to go looking like that?” He asks, turning his face to you and once again staring straight at the way your tits leave no room for imagination.

“Uh, yeah? It’s not like I'm the one under lock and key.”

He rolls his eyes at you but offers a small nod, standing to his feet and shuffling to his bedroom.

“At least put on a jacket or something, I think it’s supposed to rain tonight.”

You nod, smiling as you follow him to a room that should be off limits to you. Mostly pleased by the fact that you’re going out with Wonwoo alone, and surely you’re about to be wearing his jacket over the shirt you wore specifically for him to look at.

You were right, you are wearing his jacket as you step past the security at the club. Shortly after the two of you left a small diner, you nearly thought he was going to have cold feet and not want to go, even after taking the time to fix his hair and wear a nice outfit. Thankfully, he didn’t. Thankfully, he’s right at your side appearing as nervous as he was the day he asked your best friend out. Thankfully, he looks like he’s here for you and not to be your wingman.

“Lighten up, we’re just here to have fun.”

He nods, looking at you and the way his jacket looks on you. It shouldn’t look so good, you shouldn’t look so good to him. He can’t help but feel like he’s crossing a line despite learning his girlfriend goes out quite often without so much as telling him about it. Even before he started dating her, it’s not like clubbing was his thing. He just went with you and his girlfriend, occasionally letting his own friends tag along to find some raunchy date for the night.

“You’re right,” He nods again, encouraging himself. “Just gotta get in the mood of things I guess.”

You smile at him and pretend you heard what he just said over the bass of the music, and opt to point with your head toward the bar that holds a short line of people appearing to be ready to drink. He follows behind you, being led from a comfortable distance in a space that should force him up and against you. Consistently, you look back to make sure he hasn’t been lost in the crowd. To make sure he isn’t being grabbed at by all of the people who would surely want to pick him up tonight if they find him standing alone somewhere.

He keeps the pace though, shoving up next to you by the bar so that you both can order your first drink of the night. All you can do is look at him briefly any chance you can get as the two of you wait.

He looks uncomfortable here, but incredibly handsome in the darkened room with the neon LED lighting flashing across his cheeks. You’ve seen him in lighting like this before, usually pressed up against your best friend, but now you feel as though he needs you here for comfort. Then again, he wouldn’t even be in this situation if it weren’t for you arguing that the two of you come here.

Still, you know how he acts when the alcohol hits him, especially in a loud room full of hidden secrets that people are releasing without a single hint of fear. You have some secrets too, ones that you’ve felt bad for keeping, but in a way, it isn’t your job to tell him.

The snide part of you likes seeing him take an interest in you. Someone so entirely loyal shouldn’t be caught up with someone like your best friend. You’re actually shocked he gave in so quickly to even come to this club with you, even more shocked at the way he continued to hang out with you despite your obvious attempts of seduction.

You started doing it a mere day after your “best friend” texted you a selfie, post-sex glow practically dripping out of her sleepy smile within another man’s bed. With an arm wrapped around her, one that did not belong to Wonwoo. You knew it wasn’t him, because she texted that shit the same day Wonwoo had his job interview.

He got that job, and part of you wonders if the excitement in your friend’s voice for him over the excited call he gave her later was really for him getting the job, or if it was because she had some really great sex with some non-boyfriend. Because of course you were at Wonwoo’s house helping him pick a professional outfit, of course you were there letting him recite the things he wanted to present at the interview. Of course that’s what you were doing, you helped him prepare and then waited around his place until he got back with the news. He’s your best friend’s boyfriend, and arguably, he was also your best friend by that point.

After that, all respect for the relationship left you, and instantly you took matters into your own hands. Be there for him, be around him, be a friend to him, and of course, try to get revenge for him. Even if that meant using your own body because for some reason, you felt protective. You felt possessive.

Seeing the way he looks at you, even while being in a loyal relationship, is arguably pushing you past the boundary of just wanting revenge for him. You can see him argue with himself in his head, the doubt of why he’s looking at you this way, the doubt of why you’re doing this so suddenly. It’s attractive seeing him fight a loyalty that his own girlfriend doesn’t even give to him. It’s attractive to see him here, next to you, spouting out his drink order and looking at you briefly as if to tell you it’s your turn.

And you do order, feeling the fabric of his jacket rub against your naked arms, and the zipper occasionally stimulating your breast beneath the thin shirt. Wearing no bra has both pros and cons. The pros being, constant stimulation and Wonwoo keeping his eyes attached to you and telling on himself. The cons, the bar tender and every other fucking person in this club appear to also be staring.

Thankfully, the two of you grab your drinks shortly after and head straight around the dance floor and scout out a small couch in the back. Small as in, a two person seater with a small table in front of it. It’s a lucky snag on a saturday night to find an empty spot that perfectly fits the two of you, but neither of you seem to be complaining.

You sit down next to him, feeling the warmth of his arm radiating immense heat as his eyes travel the loud room of dancing bodies, his drink in a hand that appears to be trying not to tremble.

“Why’re you so nervous?” You whisper yell at him, taking a thoughtful sip of your drink before leaning forward and bringing your head playfully in front of his line of sight.

“Just kind of doesn’t feel right to be here without her, y’know?” He responds, taking his own thoughtful sip and grimacing at how strong the drink is. Still, he continues to sip as he watches you roll your eyes at him in a huff.

“Oh my god, could you be any further up her ass right now?”

He almost feels offended by that comment. Wanting her to be here is not considering being up her ass, if anything, it’s being a good boyfriend. You continue to spit sarcasm at him though, looking dissatisfied with how he’s acting.

“How come she can go out and have fun and you can’t? Here, look.” You say, pulling out your phone and snapping a quick selfie with him. “Watch, she won’t mind.”

You immediately send the selfie straight to her, with the small comment of “he agreed to be my wingman for the night.”

Instantly, she responds with a kissy emoji, wishing you luck on your dick-search. That’s it. That’s all she sends. Even you feel your heart drop a little for him at just how much she doesn’t seem to care considering he’s practically stroking out over the idea of being here.

“See?”

He nods, taking another drink from his cup and nodding even harder. Honestly feeling a bit better that she at least knows he’s here. Mostly because he didn’t even know how to tell her that he’s going out to a fucking club with her best friend.

“I’m so lame, god.” He laughs at himself, practically downing his drink by now and staring into your also already emptied cup. “I’ll go get us more drinks?”

You nod with a devilish grin, watching how his nervousness completely disappears to that of a confident man, in a club, who would have no issue with rejecting every single person who tries something with him.

There’s one issue though. Like, you commend him for that loyalty and you knew this would be a difficult task but, what if he genuinely rejects you too? Surely not, because at the end of the day, you’re the one who knows what’s happening behind his back.

Most people would at least tell him what’s going on before trying to seduce him, and in all fairness, you don’t know why you haven’t yet. You guess you’d rather have him cheat on her back, just to show her that he’s not going to sit here and wait on her like she’s expecting him to.

How is she gonna find out? You don’t know.

The night is good, rain dripping outside is easily drowned out by both the booming music and the loud laughter Wonwoo throws at you every few minutes from people watching. The two of you have barely moved from the love seat, but have continued to drink for hours now. At this point, you’re the one staring at him, and he doesn’t even seem to avert his eyes as he continues to drink.

From your tits to your eyes, to his jacket draped over you, all the way down to your legs and the way you move closer and closer to him, up to the point you throw both legs over his lap and he instantly grabs onto them to hold them in place.

Still, he’s laughing. Playing it off perfectly as if it’s not intimate, as if it’s not something he would avoid if he hadn’t already downed four drinks.

“Wonwoo,” You ask, getting closer to his ear to avoid yelling.

His voice booms back at you, still yelling.

“Yeah?” He responds, turning his cheek to meet yours in this moment of close conversation.

“You look really good tonight.,” You say directly into his ear, hoping he hears you as well as you hear yourself. You’re trying to tip-toe past a boundary, but it’s not like you’re lying.

“What?” He responds again, gripping your legs a bit tighter as he leans closer to you, his other hand reaching to your head to hold your lips closer against his ear. He really didn’t hear you, but it feels– you don’t know. It feels like something.

“I said, you look really good right now.” You half-laugh into his ear, and he responds with a soft chuckle before pulling away from you with a shake of his head.

“You’re being dumb,” He laughs as he continues to shake his head. “You’re just saying that because you’re drunk.”

“No, really,” You smile, playing it off much like he is. As if it’s a joke. Still, you crowd up to him again, lips right up against the shell of his ear and continue to sweet talk him. “She’s lucky, I’m a little jealous.”

You don’t hear him, but you can practically feel his skin go cold at your words. He doesn’t move, and you can argue that he doesn’t breathe for a solid thirty seconds. Which is strange because it’s not like the comment couldn’t be taken a few different ways. It appears he’s finally let it click in his head though. Right now, at this moment.

“Hm?” You continue against his ear.

Finally, he pulls from you, standing to his feet and letting your legs fall from his lap. You watch him nearly lose his balance as he tries to pretend he’s totally being normal about this, and totally not drunk.

“I’m gonna go get us another drink.” He says before walking off and not letting you say another word.

That, he does. He brings back another drink and appears now to be keeping his distance from you. And you, of course, with the alcohol bubbling in your belly, feel a bit too bold and far too interested in what you’re trying to do right now.

“Did she even call you today?” You ask, slowly making your way to the point of her not even texting him once she realized he was out with you tonight.

He shakes his head, then goes back to bobbing it to the music as if to borderline ignore you.

“Did she call yesterday?”

He ignores you.

“The day before that?”

He finally snaps his head over to you, brows furrowed in frustration as he fixes his drunken eyes on yours.

“What are you getting at? She’s busy!” He raises his voice at you, half-laughing at your questions toward him. You can’t tell if it’s because he’s pitying himself or if he thinks you’re trying to get him to cheat on her with you. The sad part is that it would be true either way.

“Oh. Yeah. She’s definitely ‘busy’.” You comment with a roll of your eye, practically downing half of your drink in one gulp before standing up and now trying to catch your own balance.

“If you’re gonna be this uptight, I’m just gonna go find someone else to hang out with.” You say defiantly, somehow hoping that he would get jealous.

He just watches you walk away, unsure of how he feels and instantly pulling out his phone to text his girlfriend. Partly just to see if she would respond, and only half because he hadn’t realized how much her communication to him had dropped.

You’re not having fun with this hot guy you found yourself grinding up against. You can feel the frustration in your bones with each grind, and even worse, you can feel his eyes on you in a way that’s very different compared to Wonwoo.

Sure, your tits are out and on display but it’s not like you did it for this guy. He eats it up in the way you want Wonwoo to. Even if his eyes are softer and full of doubt, this guy shows no shame in what he wants. He could have a wife at home, and still he’s looking at you without guilt.

Not that you support cheating. It’s a strange dilemma. Hating the fact that your best friend is doing it to Wonwoo, then countering her by fucking her man before letting him in on the reason why. It would be easier to just tell him, help him break up with her, and then woo him, but you feel angry enough for him that you prefer a more difficult route. The dramatic route. One that hurts her knowing he’s not bothered by her cheating because he has someone else to fuck now too.

Your drunk brain wonders what the fuck you’re doing here, with a guy that isn’t Wonwoo. So, your eyes wander around the room, landing on him still on that same love-seat, eyes glued to his phone.

Not-so-politely, you break away from the man attempting to shove his hand down your pants and head straight back over to him. You knew he wasn’t going to chase you out onto the floor after how rude you ended up being to him, but you really don’t have it in you to let him just sit in a club alone with a girlfriend two hours away probably taking some dude balls deep right now.

By the time you get to him and plop back down, he looks at you with a pained sort of face.

“Alright, turn it off.” You say, practically babying him as you grab his phone and hold the power button down. “She isn’t always the nicest.” You easily insult her to him, but he seems to agree by this point.

“She left me on read.” He says with an annoyed sigh. “You think she’s gonna break up with me?”

God, the pity you feel in that moment is intensely guilty. Because no, she’s not going to break up with him. It’s the other way around, actually.

“Hey, come on. You’re gonna ruin your buzz if you keep thinking about that.”

He nods to you, very nearly about to become the drunk-cryer before leaning against you with a heavy head, trying not to pay attention to your lack of reassuring him.

“Not sure why you’re jealous though, she hasn’t even let me visit her.” He laughs in a sad way. “Kinda wish she looked at me the way you do sometimes.”

He trails off, feeling you shift from under his head and take in a deep breath.

“You’re pretty attached, huh?” You ask, opting not to pry at this moment, opting not to feel jealous.

“Unfortunately.” He huffs, now lifting up and appearing to shake off his sadness. “Well, whatever happens, happens. At least I got you to hang out with.”

You nod proudly, now throwing your legs back onto his lap and staring at him.

“Yeah, whatever happens, happens.”

Oh boy, did stuff happen.

Stumbling into and out of a taxi happened, wobbling into his apartment happened, feeling him tug against your shirt as he fell into his bed, practically dragging you down on top of him, happened.

The most sobering moment was being entirely too drunk yourself to continue your plan with the night, stopping frozen as he looked up at you with a drunken smile and a small chuckle. The small voice coming from his lips saying, “You know, if I wasn’t with her I’d kiss you right now.”

You remember very nearly kissing him anyway, but opting to playfully cover his mouth and roll over and off of him before promptly passing out directly next to him.

And now you’re lying here at two in the afternoon, back facing him, with his arms clinging to you as if you belong here. You’re a little worried that he won’t remember what he said, and even more worried that he will. The hangover is prominent and booming in your skull, and partially you hope he’ll have a headache too blinding to even realize that the person he’s clinging to isn’t his girlfriend. It’s you.

Only a few minutes goes by before he stirs. His hands gripping you tightly, pulling you back and against him as he groans sleepily against your neck. You can practically feel his deep inhale of comfort by not waking up alone, until he freezes.

“Oh, fuck,” He says suddenly, in a voice more awake than ever. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to like–”

You roll over to look at him with your own sleepy smile, pretending as if you just woke up as well.

“It’s fine.” You assure him, sinking further into the blankets and trying to ignore your headache. “I cuddle with my friends all the time.”

He stays silent, not quite sure of how to navigate the situation but ultimately feeling the sharp pound in his head and throwing his head back against his pillow with a huff.

You’re a little sad that he doesn’t reach out again, but it’s kind of a given. The fact that he doesn’t ask you to leave his bed is enough for you right now.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” He asks reluctantly, internally hoping to god that you don’t. He vaguely remembers saying some stuff he shouldn’t have said, and doesn’t remember at all if he followed through with it or not.

You pick up on his tone of voice, careful and slow.

“Not really.” You say back, acting as if you’re falling back to sleep.

He breathes out a small breath of relief, allowing the silence to take over the room.

“Except for you saying you wanted to kiss me.”

Wonwoo is actually fucking horrified that you remember, reaching a hand to his temple and rubbing harshly in a self-soothing way.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He says back quietly, feeling the air become heavier and heavier.

“Oh,” You start, feeling a bit of a pull inside of you. “Well, you were drunk, so I didn’t think you did anyway.”

He breathes out another sigh of relief.

“Still, it felt good knowing.” You add.

Wonwoo pauses, feeling the ground beneath threaten to crumble from under him, taking you, him, and his bed with it as he looks over at your back turned to him. Something inside of him is now pulling a bit as he studies the way you breath and lay against his plush pillows. Your voice sounded disappointed, and he doesn’t understand why he’s also disappointed in lying to you about it. He did mean it, but it doesn’t mean you were supposed to be aware of how much he wanted to kiss you. He can’t. He’s loyal.

Nevermind the fact that you’ve never slept over. Nevermind the fact that you’re in his fucking bed.

“I’m not going to tell her, don’t worry.” You say out to the silence, in such a tone that doesn’t really leave room for him to respond outside of feeling bad more for you, than for his girlfriend who can’t seem to give him the light of day.

There’s another long moment of silence, and part of him wonders if you’ve already fallen asleep again. He can feel his headache get louder and louder in his ears and opts to try and sleep more too, because it feels like a better idea than dealing with this heavy atmosphere.

And he’s not sure why he does it, but he very carefully rolls towards you and reluctantly puts an arm around you. It’s just cuddling, nothing more. Friends cuddle all the time, right?

When you shift under him, wrapping your fingers up with his, he’s unsure of why he doesn’t pull back, and even more unsure as to why your hand fits within his better than his own girlfriend’s does.

It’s been a week of silence from Wonwoo since the night you slept over. When you officially woke up, he was still next to you, curled in on himself despite falling asleep in a way that should have been more telling than the silence in the room. You didn’t wake him because you knew he was pretending. The hint was that he didn’t want to talk about it, and he definitely didn’t want to look you in the eye. You took the hint.

So, you went home expecting him to text you at some point during the day. He didn’t. The next day? Also nothing. And now, a week later, still nothing.

You’re a bit in your head. Each work day is filled with menial tasks that do not interest you, mostly because you can’t help but believe you went a bit too far. You were being too pushy, and it resulted in this. Now, even if you were to see him again, wearing those revealing outfits would feel more like a disrespect than a fun little game you’re playing.

It isn’t fair that he’s playing that game with you without knowing, and perhaps it’s time to just get down to the point and tell him. His girlfriend is cheating on him and you’ve been a bad friend to him. You could care less about how she feels about you trying to get her boyfriend in bed with you.

His loyalty never faltered past staring at you and drunkenly admitting that he would kiss you if he wasn’t in a relationship. The task you gave to yourself was stupid, and to think Wonwoo would really pick you over her while still being with her was arguably the worst idea of your life.

Your confidence has faltered beyond belief, to the point that expecting him to text now is null. Even if you were to reach out to tell him what’s happening behind his back, at this point it would just look like you’re trying to pry. Like you’re getting involved in a place you do not belong, and definitely weren’t invited. Possibly even, like you’re lying just to get to him.

And you know, you would have stuck with the plan of silence, the plan of moving on from the situation, until she decided to snap you a billion and one selfies just the night before. Then again, it shouldn’t have surprised you when you opened snapchat this morning to see her, again, in a bed that isn’t Wonwoo’s. She must be out of her damn mind because his bed was warm and his arms were warmer.

She, again, is smiling. She looks drowsy in each photo, the arm held against her gripping her tighter in each photo until you see a glimpse of his face.

It shouldn’t piss you off, honestly, it shouldn’t. But the fact that she’s in bed with that man and not Wonwoo? Huge downgrade. The fact that she’s smiling bigger than you’ve ever seen her smile with Wonwoo? Worst best friend ever.

You don’t even respond to her, and instead screenshot every single photo, ignoring the fact that it will notify her of it, and then you block her.

You get a text at lightning speed from her immediately after taking at least nine different screenshots, catching a glimpse of the first line of text stating “what are you screenshotting for?” before blocking her number as well.

And then you sit, staring at the dirt in your camera roll before pulling up Wonwoo’s text box.

Sitting there on your bedroom floor, you type out paragraph after paragraph explaining yourself and your behavior before dropping the bomb. Drafting it once, twice, erasing all of it and starting over. Then you get anxious and close out the text box, instead writing what you want to say in your head but never quite satisfied with it because, well, even if she’s cheating on him…there is no way to explain it in a way that would excuse how you’ve been acting towards him.

Wallowing in your own self-pity, you seem to lose the point of the matter. Wonwoo is the one being fucked over, seemingly by both of you. Your best friend is taking advantage of him and so are you.

Ding.

Your phone goes off next to you, and part of you assumes it’s your “best friend” texting you from that guy’s phone instead, but your stomach drops the second you see Wonwoo’s name.

Wonwoo: can you come over today?

You almost want to say that you can’t, despite obviously wanting to. You’re anxious, you’re feeling awful, and you’re pissed off at the entire situation.

You: why? what’s up?

Wonwoo: i wanna hang out?

Well, maybe you can take advantage of his ignorance one last time. Surely he feels the intense awkwardness between the two of you, and he’s probably just wanting to put that to rest by hanging out like before. So, naturally, you’re going to go over under the idea of hanging out, and then find a way to tell him. Making no mention of how long you’ve known this to be going on, making no mention of your little mind game, or the revenge.

After all, he deserves to know.

Wonwoo is a little bit surprised that you show up in appropriate clothing. Not a hardened nipple in sight and you’re wearing jeans to cover your legs. He tries not to look at you in disappointment at this moment, and thankfully it goes unnoticed by you because, well, you’re blatantly avoiding looking anywhere near his face.

He doesn’t like that you’re not looking at him. Hates that even an hour into the hangout, you’re offering very little conversation compared to normal. You’re not making jokes, you’re not flirting.

While this is going on, Wonwoo feels like he’s staring far more than usual. Noting little things about you that he hadn’t gotten to pay close attention to before. The way your skin looks, your posture, the way you make a certain face when you seem to be thinking about something.

In his head, he wonders if he prefers looking at you this way compared to simply staring at what your body could offer if he didn’t have a girlfriend. His heart still beats the same steady pace, but it doesn’t change the fact that he feels like, especially after last week, there’s something here and exploring it is something he’s been avoiding for far too long.

It’s been there for a long time, and you never showed much interest until after he started dating your best friend. The fact that you started doing all that stuff after she moved away, while he’s trying to make things work from a distance? It was a hard thought to grasp, a hard feeling to admit. It seems he already admitted it to himself though. Putting together puzzle pieces in his mind that don’t quite fit. Ones where it’s him and his girlfriend, trying to fit your piece somewhere near him. It never fit until it was just you and him.

He never wanted to admit how much he loved spending time with you, how much he loved looking at you, how badly he wanted to touch you. It only got worse after she left, and after you started being around him more without her. He would notice even more things about you that he liked, and the mental gymnastics only drove him to act like an idiot around you. It made him talk about his girlfriend more, as if to mute the thoughts he would have about you.

Now though? He’s had time to think, he’s had time to figure things out, and ultimately, he’s had time to miss you. To see what it would be like without you around him for more than two days.

He really did miss you. A lot. Arguably more than his girlfriend, who lives two hours away and hasn’t even allowed him to visit her. So, as he’s sitting next to you on the couch, he moves closer.

When you get up to grab something to drink, he’s right behind you, absentmindedly placing a hand on your waist to reach up into the cabinet to grab you a glass before you can do it yourself.

When you sit back down next to him on the couch, he scoots even closer, reluctantly throwing an arm over the back of the couch and gently playing with the collar of your shirt.

All of those tiny touches bring your eyes to him a few times. The feeling of intimacy is more overwhelming than the day you lost your virginity. You didn’t have to do anything to get him to do it either. You’re not even trying anymore, and here he is, finding ways to get closer to you. Finding ways to invite you into his personal space.

The air in his apartment feels intense. It feels untouchable to you in a way too, making your anxiety bubble even more as you waver on the line of telling him the truth or just enjoying the way he’s acting right now. There’s too much guilt involved though, as you turn to look at him and this time, you don’t break eye contact.

He can tell you want to say something, but knows that you probably won’t speak your mind.

“What’s gotten into you?” You finally ask after a long moment of staring at him, and he just shrugs.

“I just feel comfortable,” he tries to play it off, his mind feeling heavy with the fact that she hasn’t texted him for three days. “And little frustrated.”

Sexually. Considering he hasn’t touched a single person since she moved away. Not to mention the fact that you have been dressing in a way that made him need physical touch for so long now. Until today, anyway. All of those hang outs where you showed up looking ready to be touched, and then leaving untouched? All of those nights he spent alone in his room trying to get his girlfriend to call him, moan for him, or send him photos? All of those nights without love from either of you, and only love from himself.

“Oh, Why?” You ask, reluctantly. You’re nearly prepared to get up and leave, hoping that his frustration isn’t at you as a person, or about what happened last week.

“She hasn’t texted in a while and I’m starting to second guess some stuff, I guess.”

You look at him with a shocked expression, the guilt rising in you to the point that you very nearly start screaming out the secrets. But you don’t, because he continues.

“You’re not wearing the stuff you usually wear to try and impress me either, so I feel like I may have lost my shot.”

Oh.

You look away, a confused feeling inside of you now. The guilt of the situation turning into that of petty revenge yet again. This is what you wanted. Him making a suggestion, even while in a relationship, to want you, to have you, to need you.

“I want to kiss you, so bad.” He sighs out at your silence, flopping his head against the cushions of his couch and groaning in frustration. He squeezes his eyes shut, a face looking as though he was pained to say such a thing, but it’s more so just the frustration of wanting to kiss you, and never having the chance. Never being able to be in a position to do it. Never being the person you wanted to do it.

“Are you going to do it this time?” You say in a small voice, still looking at him and the way he shows his clear intentions even through the slouched posture on the couch.

The cushions are plush around his head, offering him a comfort that you assume you could never bring to him in a moment like this. Even when he turns his head to look at you, eyes darting across your face to search for your usual cheeky smirk or grin, and finding none of that.

It’s the first time either of you have crossed the line of flirting. There is no flirting to be had here, and only Wonwoo’s reluctant intimacy, his needy suggestions.

“Yeah.” He lets out with a sigh, now taking in a deep breath and still not moving from the couch.

You, on the other hand, unintentionally push the secret to the back of your mind. The sheer idea of him wanting to kiss you, and him actually planning to do it overshadows any other thought in your brain. As if the entire situation never happened, and it’s just you and him with no ties to other people.

As if he’s not in a relationship. As if you’re not actively trying to end that relationship.

It’s silent, and he’s still unmoving after saying that. You look away briefly, trying to muster up the courage to say something else. To encourage him, to do it yourself. Then, before you can even try, you feel the couch dip next to you, and when you turn back to look at him. He’s right there.

You can feel his breath fanning over you, only now noticing that he must have been sucking on that candy before for this very reason. The scent of something fruity and sweet overpowering your senses as the two of you blink at each other.

You watch as his eyes go from open, to hooded, and you feel his palm against your cheek. The warmth of it lulling your own eyes to close.

The first feeling of his lips felt like any other kiss. Plush and warm. His lower lip slots between yours in a simple way, and he stays like that briefly before pulling back and looking at you.

His insides are buzzing, unsure as to why this feels so insane right now. He’s kissed before, so many times. He’s made out, he’s fucked. He’s done everything, but with you, it’s different. And it’s so fucking cliche to think about. Never did he think kissing you would feel any different.

But it does. And maybe it’s because your lips are prettier than his girlfriend’s, maybe it’s because the candy he had made the kiss all the sweeter. Maybe it’s because you’re here, and she’s not.

Or maybe, it’s because he actually likes you.

It only continues from there, his lips falling to yours once more, and then twice more, until he’s managed to cup your face in both of his hands and really kiss you. His tongue slipping in with ease and not at all as reluctant as his hands.

You kiss him back, seemingly trying to take what you can get before he realizes what’s happening and ultimately runs away from this.

With each passing moment, it’s what you expect to happen but, for him, each passing moment is only going further and further past the boundary line. His tongue continues moving against yours, his lips continue to fit perfectly with yours, and he keeps going until he’s breathless.

When he pulls back this time to breathe, his hands go from your face to your shoulders, running down your waist until he grips your hips and pulls you forward. You don’t budge at first, looking at him and his candy kissed lips.

He seems confident when he pulls at you again, and again, until you follow where his hands are pulling you. Directly on top of him.

There, he positions himself much like he did when he said he was going to kiss you. Head pressed back into the cushions, eyes closed before half-opening to look at you with a serious expression. Seeing him from this angle, with your legs thrown on either side of him, straddling him?

That angry feeling inside of you bubbles up again. This is what your best friend can fucking have? And she’s not doing it? She’s not here right the fuck now, sitting on her pretty boyfriend? With his stupid warm hands holding her so delicately on his lap? With his messy hair and pretty lips?

You groan as you look at him, moving your hand to pinch the bridge of your nose and shake your head.

“Hm? What’s up?” He asks, in his own little world with you, his girlfriend so far in the back of his brain that he doesn’t seem to comprehend the gravity of the situation.

“I just,” You start, adjusting your eyes back to him and taking in his image once again. This time feeling like the breath is knocked out of you with the way he’s looking at you. You forgot what you wanted to say.

“Are you worried?” He asks, bringing his hand back up to your face and running the back of his fingers against your lips.

It’s something that makes you feel like he’s not taken. It makes you feel like he wants to be taken though, by you, specifically.

You shake your head, kissing his fingers as they continue to make their way back and forth across your lips. Only slightly sticking out your tongue to lick them, before he runs that hand to the collar of your shirt and pulls you down and against him.

There, before you can even think to pull yourself back up, he’s wrapping his arms around you in a hug, letting your head lay against his shoulder as he talks.

“You really have no idea, do you?”

On the fucking contrary. He’s the one who has no idea.

“How long have I wanted to hold you like this?” He continues, still hugging you too tight for you to lift up enough to look at him. “Do you know?”

You shake your head, digging deep in your brain and finding no hints from him that would indicate such a thing.

“Since before you approached me to meet her.” He says, dropping the bomb that he’s still not yours, all while holding you as if you’re his. “Since that time you asked my friend for help on campus opening your bottle.”

“That was over a year ago.” You comment in disbelief, noting that college life felt so far away despite it not being a distant memory at all.

In fact, you remember the way he wanted to help before his friend did. You didn’t know him until that moment, and only knew his friend from a few classes.

“From the first second, I think,” He ponders, his grip on you loosening as he lets you raise up slightly to look at him. “I think this is what I wanted from then on.”

“Then why are you with–”

He cuts you off, kissing you again and ultimately doing the job of shutting your brain off so well that you can only believe he was meant to be the one doing it.

And there, the two of you sit like that with no goal in mind. Just kissing, just feeling, just enjoying. With each breath you need to take, the kisses only come back more intense, up until you think a solid hour passes.

Never have you made out for this long without a hand in your pants, or your hand in someone else’s pants. Arguably, you feel as if you need your hand in his pants by now, especially because you can feel how aroused he’s been.

He never pushed for more though, with his length sitting directly under you and his little relieved breaths each time you adjusted your body on his to kiss him deeper. You can imagine his legs must be going numb by now too, but he leaves no room for complaints.

None of his little sounds seem to come from pain, and the fact that this alone is enough to satisfy him brings that angry feeling back. You can imagine he must love to go slow. He must enjoy taking his time, and being gentle, sweet, and loving. Your best friend is so fucking different. You’ve heard of her sexual endeavors, you’ve seen them both in photos, videos, and hell, even in the same room as you because the bitch has no comprehension of personal space.

Only now do you realize that during her entire relationship with Wonwoo, she never talked about sex with him. She never sent photos, videos, or was all over him when the three of you hung out. You assumed it was because it was his boundary. You know she doesn’t respect boundaries though, so clearly not.

“I don’t know.” Wonwoo suddenly whispers between kisses, forcing you to search your brain as to what he must be referring to.

“Hm?” You hum into his insistent lips, only giving enough space for him to offer short bursts of conversation.

“Why am I with her, that’s what you were going to ask, right?” He says, pulling back and letting you look at him.

You nod reluctantly, trying not to feel his arousal beneath you twitch against your ass.

He shrugs.

“Does it really even matter?” He asks, now moving his body in a way that suggests you should stand, and you do.

You stay silent, watching him stand to his feet in front of you, looking down at you.

“Does it?” He asks again, looking at you for an answer.

You shake your head, watching him slowly take a step back, and back, and back. Fully aware of the fact that he’s making his way to his room, and knowing you’re going to follow him.

You do, following him until you get close enough that he grabs you again and holds you against his chest, expertly walking backwards in his apartment straight to his bedroom door. You could do that too, if you wanted to, because you’ve been here more times than you can count.

There, he continues to hold you in his grasp, inhaling the scent of your hair, running his hands down and slipping them under your shirt, rubbing your back.

You’re the one who snakes an arm around him to open his bedroom door, and he very nearly trips backwards. The chaos of you falling on top of him wouldn’t be the most awful error, with the way he keeps getting caught up with simply fucking hugging you. Thankfully though, he doesn’t fall.

Instead, he regains the control of his body and turns both of you around, now forcing you to walk back until your knees hit his bed and you’re falling back with him on top of you.

It’s silent again save for a small laugh from him, and he still just stares at you. As if he’s taking you in for the first time each time he does this.

He pulls his arms from under you and adjusts them now to where one is holding up his weight, and the other is once again fiddling with the collar of your shirt. There, he leans down and kisses the side of your mouth before moving down your neck, stopping where his fingers are toying with your shirt.

“I’m so hard,” He whispers against your neck, thrusting his hips forward and against your leg. “Can you touch me?”

You pause at the feeling of your heart fluttering, the warmth of his breath against your skin only heightens the feeling and you intentionally lift your leg slightly to bump against his length.

He lets out a pleased sigh at the feeling, tensing his hips against your leg and kissing against your neck again, beginning to suckle in that same spot.

His hands move up and down your body as he chases the friction your leg offers, slowly lifting your shirt, up until he has to remove his lips from your skin to get it off of you, only to immediately place them right back there, and sucking harder against your collar bone.

You feel his length throbbing against your leg with each little movement of his hips, and the pained feeling of your blood vessels being bursted with his mouth, the feeling of his hands now running up to your bra, intentionally moving the fabric just to free one of the breasts he’s spent too much time staring at before.

When he does that, you feel him release your skin from his mouth and groan out at the first glimpse of real naked flash, now running his lips straight to your nipple and sucking there instead. His hips moving faster against you until he can barely stand it.

He releases your nipple with a pop sound before looking at you, his eyes shining in a new way. He studies the way you lay beneath him, then looks down at his cock chasing the feeling of your slightly raised leg before he laughs at himself. Only slightly, a very small laugh.

“I feel so desperate…” He comments, shifting his hips harder. “and I don’t care.” He adds, reaching for your bra and pulling it off of you without so much as unhooking it. Then he goes straight for his shirt, lifting it off of his body just a quickly before lying against you just to feel the warmth.

“Are you okay with this?” He finally says, in a smaller voice, with a little less confidence.

Of course you are, even with all of the things unspoken about this situation, and what could come of it.

You offer him a small nod, moving your hands up to his hair and pulling a bit, as if to guide his lips back to your nipple. He follows with ease, smiling around the hardened nub and flicking it with his tongue before immediately pulling back and looking at you.

He’s fucking beaming. Never have you seen him look so happy. He’s practically glowing as he looks at you, and it makes you feel like your heart is going to thump out of your chest. You smile back, feeling like you both must look so stupid right now. He’s cheating right now, and you both couldn’t be happier about it.

“You’re so…” You start, your voice coming out cheerful and pleased. “cute.”

He raises a questionable brow at the choice of words there, wanting nothing more than to seem sexy, or like, arousing to you. But he will take it at face value, and hope that someday, maybe he’ll be more than just cute.

He hums, leaning back down to your nipple yet again, suckling it between his teeth before finally moving over to the other, warming up the skin there and leaving no part of you without a tingling sensation.

His hips have stilled, but you can still feel him ache against you, so you make it a point to raise your leg higher, moving it against him until he can’t stop releasing little moans from around your nipple. You keep doing that, up until he releases your skin with a deep sigh, one that feels painful.

“I want you so bad.” He groans, lifting fully from you and towering over you.

You look up at him, eyes trailing his chest and abs before focusing on his hands, which lifts from you and travels to the button of his pants.

It’s going to happen. It’s really gonna fucking happen now. You’re happy, your heart is fucking threatening death on you, and your entire body is reacting to him at this moment in the form of warmth soaking your panties.

He watches you watch him, your eyes practically urging him to do exactly what he’s intending to do, and he’s even more happy to oblige. Making a show of unbuttoning his pants, unzipping, and then pausing.

“Hey, look at me.” He says playfully, watching you struggle to move your eyes back up to his. “Keep looking at me.”

God, it truly is a fucking struggle to keep your eyes on his, despite how much you’ve grown to love how passionate they are when he looks at you. In your peripheral vision, you can see him lower his pants, you can see his hand reaching to pull his cock from his briefs, and you can even see him tug against it a few times, all while he’s smiling directly at you. Knowing you want to see it.

“How does it feel to have someone flash what you want in front of you, but not being able to really look?” He asks, again in a playful voice.

You roll your eyes at him, then dart them straight down and take in a deep inhale at how big he appears to be. Even against his hands, large and slender, his cock is arguably something that will feel new to you in size alone.

Honestly, you can’t fucking comprehend your “best friend” moving away and leaving that behind. Choosing someone else, letting someone else inside of her. Looking at it alone has your entire body in hyper-awareness of how badly you want it. You want him. Not even for revenge, but just to show him that he is fucking wanted. He is desired, and he isn’t worth fucking leaving.

You’re still staring when he shuffles back, landing his hands on your pants to try and get them off of you too, but you stop him. Shooting up from your back and nearly throwing yourself into a dizzy fit before grabbing onto him and pushing him from the bed.

He’s a little shocked, and definitely confused, until he realizes what you’re doing. You shift to lying on your stomach, face level with his hips.

“Oh,” He lets out, noting the way you’re grabbing his hips and bringing him forward again, his knees hitting his bed and the head of his cock hitting your lips. “Oh, shit.” He grits out, feeling you instantly take him into your mouth without even so much as suggesting you wanted to do this.

If there was a line to cross, it was already crossed, but this means there’s no turning back. And he’s fucking fine with it. His “girlfriend” never seemed this excited to do this. She was actually, um, quite boring in bed. Not to compare her to you or anything, it’s just, you know–

You can feel him tremble when you take him deeper into your mouth, honestly just wanting to show him how much you want this. You take him deeper, and deeper, until your throat constricts around him and you feel him tap at your shoulder and slide himself out.

“You don’t have to do that,” He comments, slightly out of breath, a tint of red fanning over his cheeks. “You really, really, don’t have–”

He’s cut off by you ignoring him, doing the exact thing that’s getting him to act like this. Taking more and more until your throat constricts again, and you continue to let your throat stimulate him.

“Fuck.” He moans in another shaky breath, showing that he’s still trembling, much like you are.

He doesn’t argue this time though, instead he opts to find out where the fuck he should put his hands. One lands on your head briefly, before it moves to your cheek to feel how hollowed out they are, then it ends up running through his hair, to amplify the feeling of pleasured insanity running through his body right now.

And when you pull back to breathe, you feel his hips chase the warmth of your throat. Gagging you once more before he sputters out a small apology, heaving in a breath and trying to steady his thoughts of how fucking amazing you are.

You smile at him, wiping the corners of your mouth before planting a kiss to the head of his length, tasting the salty pre-cum that you hadn’t gotten to taste before, considering how deep you took him into your mouth.

He still looks at you, dazed and totally infatuated with the way you look so proud of yourself. His cock twitching in front of your face, his eyes keeping the same passion. Before you can even go back in for more, he’s reclaiming his control.

“Roll over,” He says, not trying to seem demanding.

To you though, it just seems desperate, in a good way. A great way.

You do, rolling over and seeing him lean over you to quickly undo your pants, his cock literally right on your face. You playfully lick the base, feeling his entire body twitch as he laughs.

“Stop.” He chuckles at his own sensitivity, trying to shove your pants down in the awkward position.

“Don’t put it on my face then.” You argue, licking again.

He finally steps back with another laugh, removing his length from the assault of your tongue and throwing himself onto the bed, finishing the task of taking off your pants.

He briefly notes the wet spot on your panties, sighing in relief with a smile before he balances himself on one arm beside your head and leans down to kiss you.

You let him. Feeling entirely desired and wanted by him. The kiss is just as deep as the ones before, but this time you have the breath knocked out of you. You can feel his fingers moving your panties and going straight for your clit.

Your mouth falls slack against his, letting out a sigh that he swallows up enthusiastically.

He continues that, sliding his fingers up and down your folds, circling your clit, kissing you, chuckling to you, licking against your tongue before experimenting with sliding a finger into you.

He only stops kissing you at that moment, looking down at where his finger disappears inside of you, and then searching your face for a reaction. You look back at him with a dazed smile, slightly nodding with another long and drawn out sigh.

Then he slides his finger out, and slides in two, a bit harsher this time. Effectively fucking his fingers into you only twice before you’re pulling him back down and into a rough and messy kiss.

His hand continues to fuck into you as his tongue counters the motion with slow drags of his tongue against yours, as if he’s tasting each moan you give to him. The candied flavor of his lips is more dull now that you think you’ve kissed the flavor out of him. You imagine he can feel exactly how much you want him, with the way you’re grasping him, the way you’re moaning for him, the way you’re kissing with no rhyme or reason.

His hands get rougher and rougher as the minutes pass, up until he can feel you dripping against his knuckles and hopefully onto his bed.

“So wet,” he compliments you through a breathy kiss. “So pretty.” He adds, pulling back to really see how you look while being fucked.

You hum in response, spreading your legs a bit more, now using your own body to fuck against his fingers. Wanting more of him, wanting them deeper.

“Wonwoo,” You sigh out, feeling the slide of his fingers continue to drench themselves into the heat of your pussy. “Please tell me you’re going to fuck me.”

He continues to look at you, his cock twitching at the words as he dips his head in a small and, somehow shy, nod. All he needed was for you to ask. Now all he needs is to feel you stretch around his aching cock, relieving him of the intensity of how badly he’s wanted to be inside of you for so fucking long.

“Just tell me when.” he whispers, letting his fingers continue to do the work.

“Now.”

Well, you don’t have to ask him twice. He smiles, popping one more kiss to the corner of your mouth before lifting from you and staring down at the way you slide yourself on his fingers. Imagining briefly what you’d look like doing that to his cock. Closing his eyes tightly at the image and nearly whining out in pleasure at the image.

You’re a little shocked at first, with the way he pulls his fingers out, removes your panties, and instantly lays his cock against your core. Sliding it through your folds and humming at how wet you manage to coat his length. He does that for a little too long, but you watch him. He’s enjoying the image, staring straight down and seemingly focused on burning the image of his cock sliding against you in his mind.

And when he does finally position himself, he’s quick to grab one of your legs and place it over one of his shoulders, before sliding in slightly, then doing the same with your other leg.

There he stares down as he sinks into you, watching how deep his cock can go, feeling and seeing you pulse around him in a harsh and searing stretch.

Then, he looks at you and the way you’re lying under him with a face that resembles both pain, release, and pleasure. It drives him further, fitting his cock into you as if it was made for you and you alone.

You, on the other hand, feel as though you’re being split in fucking half by the sheer length of him. He just keeps pressing in, deeper, deeper, deeper. Until your legs tremble on his shoulders and he’s quick to turn his face to land a gentle kiss against your calf, as if to soothe you.

He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to though. When he bottomed out on you, all he could do was sit there and feel your pussy adjust to him. It felt so fucking good, so tight, so wet. All of it had him nearly not even thinking with his own brain. It made him want to say filthy things, seeing you stretched out on him, feeling your legs tremble even through his soothing kisses. Seeing your hands weakly grip at the sheets above your head.

Only now, does he slide out to offer you a bit of relief, watching your face and the way you take in deep breaths before releasing them with sweet sounds for him. He slides back in, letting out his own moan before gripping one of your legs to hold it in place and holding your thigh with the other. There, he finds a rhythm. One that has you moaning with each thrust, out of breath, and your legs trembling even more.

One that has him feeling like he could do this for hours. Loving the way he fits into you, loving the way your tits move with each thrust, obsessed with the way your voice translates pleasure for him.

He thinks he might be in love, fucking into you as if his life depends on it. As if his “girlfriend” never laid under him like this. Because she did, and somehow it never felt as good as it does with you.

Even through the silence save for moaning and breaths, it feels more intense than fucking ever has for him and he doesn’t want it to end. He loves the way your pleasure squeezes his length so tightly. He loves the little sounds you make, and fucking adores the way you still try to meet him half way with his thrusts. Like you’re urging for more, like you’re loving it, like you’re loving him.

He does this for a while, internally falling in love with you over and over again with each moan, each clench of your pussy, each fucking tremble. That is only heightened when he manages to move a hand to your clit, fighting your weak hands to push them away from you as he stimulates the sensitivity beyond belief.

You moan out for him, both chasing the feeling and urging him to stop because you don’t want this to end either. He chooses to keep going though, watching you reach your arms up to him, as if you’re calling to him through the intense sensitivity.

He’s so quick to let your legs fall from his shoulders as he intertwines his fingers with yours on one hand, the other keeping up the pressure against your clit. He leans closer to you now, face inches from your as he looks at you

“You’re so fucking pretty like this.” He compliments directly against your lips. “It isn’t fair.”

You can hardly comprehend what he’s saying, feeling his hips pick up intensity now that he’s even closer to you. The angle change makes the slide of his cock feel perfect inside of you, bumping every sensitive spot alongside his fingers caressing your clit, it sends you over edge without so much as a silent warning.

Honestly, it happens before he even realizes it himself. Feeling your pussy stutter around his length and the way you hold your breath as you try to kiss him at the same time. He tries to slow down to feel it, encouraging you to let it go while feeding into the one sided kiss. His fingers are still toying with you, wanting you to give him your all as you release. As he slows his hips, the slow drag of his cock inside of you continues to fuck you through your orgasm until he stops moving completely, unaware of how much you’re stimulating him through your orgasm, he pulls out half way in a panic.

“Hold on–” He breathes against your lips before throwing his head back and trying to convince himself not to come. “Stop clenching, fuck.”

You could argue, but honestly you’re about as stupid as he appears to be right now. Clenching harder at his words and the way his body jerks inside of you as he presses all the way back in again. Prolonging your orgasm past your own comprehension.

You moan louder in surprise, and there he goes.

Losing his goddamn mind inside of you as he releases, almost forgetting where he is as he pumps every single bit of his come into you with full fucking intention. Wanting you to feel it as he kisses you through it, wanting you to know just how much he could give to you, and ultimately feeling satisfied with the way you cling to him as he does it.

Up until both of you are breathless, trembling, and a fucking mess when he pulls out of you.

The silence in the room came back after the two of you caught your breath, Wonwoo was quick to clean both of you up, knowing for a fact that a shower will need to be in the plan within the next ten minutes.

But also, something else has come back to the front of his brain. Since, you know, he kind of lost his mind for a while there.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was cheating on me?”

“How did you–” You start, immediately pulled out of your post-sex daze. The glow of your skin disappearing and replacing itself with guilt and panic.

“When I asked her, she asked if you told me.” He responds, as nonchalant as ever. Showing no anger toward you for knowing.

It seems he figured it out on his own.

“Oh….”

“You could have just told me instead of letting me sit there and suffer abouting wanting you at the same time. Do you realize how awful that made me feel?”

You’re not prepared for this conversation, as much as you’d like to be.

“I was trying to get back at her.” You say in a small voice, feeling ashamed.

“Well, we definitely did.” He starts, tapping the bottom of your chin and forcing you to look up at him. “You should have told me though, instead of trying to take matters into your own hands.”

You look at him, searching for any hint of anger or disappointment and finding none. If anything, you see the frustration, possibly part of what he referred to before he fucked you. Before he definitely didn’t cheat on his “girlfriend” with you.

“We did?” You start, glancing away from him. “She knows we–?” You continue, wondering how the fuck the two of you would have gotten back at her if you only just had sex.

“Oh, right.” He puts a finger in the air. “I kind of jumped the gun and told her not to feel bad because I cheated on her too.”

“What?! With who?” You panic, wondering if the silence of last week was him fucking the sad out of him with someone else.

“You.” he pauses, avoiding eye contact. “Then I hung up and waited a few days to decide on what to do. I ended up texting you to come over so I could make good on my promise.”

“And if I wasn’t interested?”

“You were clearly interested.”

#wonwoo smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #jeon wonwoo smut

2K notes · View notes

ihavethedreamies · 1 month

Text

Heat | Wonwoo

Jeon Wonwoo - Seventeen

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~8.7k

Pairing: Wonwoo x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Sci-Fi AU!, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Acquaintances-to-Lovers, This One Actually Has Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Minor Background Character Gets Shot (Wow! Plot), Pet Names (Pretty, Pretty Girl, Princess, etc.), Daddy Kink (oops), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! Receiving), Wall Sex, Marking/Biting, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom!)

Author's Note: This one has way more actual story than Hoshi's and Woozi's. Wonwoo tends to need time to warm up to people, so I didn't feel like I should do a quick one-night stand deal with him. So, I wrote in some story so he and the reader weren't total strangers.

-> Hoshi's <-

-> Woozi's <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

"You have GOT to be kidding me…" You grumbled, huffing a few harsh breaths, and trying again. There was something stuck under the sand, and you really wanted to see if it was worth anything. However, every time you got close to brushing enough sand from the surface to see the logo, a gust of wind would cover it back up again. Adjusting your head covering over your mouth again so you got no sand in your mouth, you also brushed off your goggles of the fine particles sticking to it. You were starting to work up a sweat, the blowing dust and sand mixed with the perspiration and was coating you in a horribly scratchy paste. Whatever was under the sand was big, and that was what you were looking for. However, you really needed to determine the make and model of the crashed ship to determine if it was worth reporting for salvage.

"Finally!" You groaned, getting the metal brushed clean. You quickly snapped a photo with your holo-tracker, the blue paint still relatively solid, enough to identify. The device spun, trying to connect to the extranet and you clicked your tongue as it took for seemingly forever.

"What?!" You swore multiple times when the device flashed, 'no results found'. Maybe you could show it to someone at the Assembly office that would know something. You already had a few pictures and coordinates of a few smaller wrecks you could report, but they probably wouldn't grant very many credits. This thing was huge though, so at least the scrap metal would be worth something. Another blast of wind nearly knocked you over as you stood back up, trying to climb out of the small crater to get back to your rover. The crappy thing about wrecks on Sierra-Vector-Tango, since the entire planet was a desert, is that they were quickly covered by sand; even if they created massive craters when they fell to the surface. However, that meant more money for finding salvage than some other planets. Bad thing? Sand worms. Their saliva got into the particles and could make it acidic, which made digging through the sand more dangerous. This, once again, caused the number of credits to be higher.

"Let’s go back for now." You jerked back with your whole body weight as you pulled the handle for the door of your rover. It finally opened and you huffed, throwing the end of your head scarf aggressively to wrap it around your neck better. Crawling up and into your rover, you rested back in the seat, trying to catch your breath. Pressing the button to start the vehicle it roared to life and the air conditioning flared to life and you just sat in the cooling air for a few minutes.

"Water!" You gasped dramatically, grabbing your canteen from the passenger seat, and drinking so aggressively the liquid spilled out of your mouth some.

"For fuck's sake…" You groaned hard, the water mixing with the layer of sand on your skin, thickening it.

"I need a real shower, with water." Shifting the gear of the rover, you started to drive back to the main road so you could start heading to the nearest Assembly office. It would be about an hour to Drent, and a little under two for Jaron, but you really didn't like going to Drent. Not only did it have the name of some dude-bro fuck boy, but it was also full of them too. Drent had one of the biggest…adult establishments in that quadrant. Not only did they have sexy blue alien ladies dancing on tables, but it also allowed you to sleep with them. Last time you went you nearly got mugged, and the guy just wanted your underwear. No thank you. Jaron was farther away, but a much nicer place and had a very old-style diner reminiscent of Terra from the 1950s. It was cool to go somewhere that was reminiscent of a time over two-hundred years in the past. Plus, they had a hotel with real water showers instead of the air-blasting kind that was more common. It would be more expensive, but worth it.

"This time I wanna rock with you~" You sang along to the song playing over the speakers, drumming your hands on the steering wheel of your rover as you got back to the main road. Turning right to go north toward Jaron, you set the auto-pilot on and plugged in the town, sitting back to watch the view as your rover drove itself. When you could start to see the sign for the town, you shut the auto-drive off and took control again. Large vehicles like yours weren't allowed in the city proper, so when you reached the entry checkpoint, you pulled off to the side and got out. The sun was setting, nearly below the horizon, stars starting to twinkle in the night sky. Getting out of the rover, you slammed the door as hard as you could to get it to shut and went around to the back. Grabbing your big pack and smaller bag, you also had a make-shift safe that you kept smaller salvage pieces in. You let it fall to the sandy ground with a thud and jumped back out. Keying in the code on the side, the rover beeped as it locked, and you headed to the entry booth.

"How old is your rover?" The kid at the booth was at the most eighteen, and his condescending tone was completely unnecessary.

"Doesn't matter." You tried not to steer, slapping your credit chit on the counter and he slotted it into the console. He really had no room to talk, his setup was just as old if not more so than you rover. Sliding the chit back out, he grabbed a small holo-disc and let the machine stamp it with the time and date.

"Thank you." You emphasized with fake kindness, and he rolled his eyes as he let you into the town. You let the parking disc fall into your bag along with your credit chit and started to head down the road. Your 'safe' was basically a suitcase that you made more secure and added a few locks to, so you could roll it behind you. The wheels thunked over the creases of the pavement and you wondered why the town was so dead. At that time, most people would be milling about after supper and going to bars and such. As you passed a store, you saw a sign blinking on the glass advertising some kind of political rally, must be where everyone was at. At least the hotel was still being manned, though you weren't sure the old man behind the counter was even still alive.

"Hello, dearie." He smiled up at you, wrinkles so prominent his eyes nearly disappeared.

"Hello, sir. Can I get a single room for…" You thought, sucking air through the side of your mouth in thought, "how much is four nights?"

"At 250 credits a night, that would be about a thousand…If you stay one more night, I will keep it that price?"

"Sweet! Thanks!" You smiled back, digging through your bag to look for the chit once again. It was a bit pricier than you normally liked, but it was worth it to get a shower with water.

"A single bed, yes?"

"Yes, sir."

"I think we only have two-bed rooms…this one is two singles, does that work?"

"Sure!"

"Water shower?"

"Please~" You groaned, and he chuckled.

"It is quite slow today for the rally, so I do not think any restaurants are delivering…" The old man worked faster than you thought he would and when he slid the chit back to you, he included the room key. It looked like a glass playing card and had the room 24H-13 on it.

"It will be the second floor, take a right to the fourth hall, then its room thirteen." The old man smiled, and you thanked him, heading for the elevator, the wheels whirling on the tile floor. Once you got to the room and inside, you put everything in the room hastily before dashing into the bathroom. After relieving yourself, you shed the extremely sandy clothes and you noticed what looked like an old-style clothes dryer in the corner. It only had two settings, one of which was covered with a piece of tape and the handwritten words, ‘FOR SAND,' on it.

"Perfect." You shrugged and shoved all of your clothes in the drum, shutting the door, and letting it spin and get rid of the dust and grit.

"Oh~" You hummed in delight when you saw the water heating panel on the wall. You plugged in the best temperature and the water immediately came out perfect. Standing under the spray, you stood for nearly ten minutes just letting the water flow over your tired body. Glancing up at the shower head, you clicked your tongue in annoyance, it was fixed on the wall without a hose…

"Need to find a guy…" you grumbled and then proceeded to actually wash up. The soaps and cleansers all smelled of Terra fruits and you wondered what they might taste like. Getting out of the shower nearly an hour later, you wrapped a towel around yourself and your hair, heading back to the main room of the hotel. Flopping onto the bed, your stomach rumbled loudly, and you sighed dramatically. No delivery…The only place that was probably open was the diner and luckily it was right next door to the Assembly office in the strip mall. It was always open since the employees of the Assembly would eat there most of the time, but they never delivered anyway. When your skin finally no longer felt wet or sticky, you put on your set of spare clothes and grabbed your smaller bag.

"Sandy." you mumbled, going back to the bathroom, taking your now sand-free clothes out. Taking everything out of your bag and setting it on top of the machine, you put your bag in to get the sand off and while you waited, put your boots back on. As it continued, you brushed your hair out and braided it again. Looking at your face, you had a slight tan line from your goggles, but it was nearly unnoticeable thanks to your head scarf covering most of the rest of your face. The machine dinged and you retrieved the satchel, putting everything back and making sure you had your chit and keycard, you left the hotel room to go get supper. Waving to the old man at the desk, you dashed out to the street and jogged down the sidewalk. The rally was still going, you could hear the shouting and cheers in the distance. Must have been a more local election or campaign because you didn't recognize the politician on the flyer. Most of the store fronts were closed, even as you turned the corner to get to the main street. In the distance, you saw the light pouring out of the windows of the Assembly office and the diner, shining like a beacon among the darkened stores surrounding it. Like a good child, you looked both ways before you crossed the road, despite there not being anything or anyone nearby. The doors slid open when you approached the office and the guy behind the counter looked up lazily from where he was counting something at the desk.

"Can I help you?" He sounded very tired. You dug in your bag once again and pulled out your credit chit as well as your ID so he could see you were a legit scavenger, but also a freelancer. Freelancers actually tended to get more money than their own employees because they didn't have to pay benefits and all that other stuff.

"I'll let the Salvage Officer know you're here." The guy handed you your stuff back and you went to sit in the empty waiting area. Tapping your toe on the floor, you could look into the entrance of the diner through the windows and door inside the office. There was only one or two customers inside and just one waitress. There was a guy sitting in the back corner, thin glasses perched on the end of his nose as he read. A paper book? Who had physical books anymore?

"(Y/N)." Your name was called by a familiar voice, and you smiled at the owner.

"Junmyeon!" He motioned with his head, and you followed him into his personal office.

"Didn't know you were working here now." You sat in front of his desk, and he chuckled, relaxing back into his office chair.

"I just transferred. What have you found?" He took the holo-tracker from you when you handed it over and plugged it into his console.

"Most of them are small…" You dimpled the corner of your mouth, looking at the monitor the best you could from your angle. He shifted the screen so you could see better, and you pointed to different marks and gave more details.

"What one is this?" He was looking at the blue logo and you shrugged.

"I have no idea; it was huge though. Looked like a Meteor-class size ship, maybe bigger. It was totally covered and left a huge crater." You emphasized with hand motions, and he panned the picture out to get the measurements before he tapped the logo so the computer could analyze it. As it spun you dug through your bag, looking to see if you had lip balm or something. You didn't notice your business friend simply watching you, more like staring. His eyes flashed to your lips as you painted the balm on your lips with your ring finger. When the console dinged, it brought both of your attention back to the machine.

"Oh, wow." He leaned in to read the information.

"I need to make some calls, can you come back in a few hours?" He looked at you and you nodded, standing.

"I can grab something to eat in the meantime!" You waved goodbye and didn't even notice when he tried to call after you. Heading back to the front of the office, you went to the door leading to the diner and the door slid open with a ding.

"Just you, girlie?" The older waitress called from behind the counter, and you nodded, going to sit at said counter.

"What can I get for you?" she asked, sassily chewing her gum. You looked over the menu and made your choice, pulling out your holo-tracker to play a game as you waited for your food. You glanced over to the back corner over your shoulder, looking at the guy reading.

"Who is that?" you asked the waitress when she came back with your drink.

"He's been hanging around here for a few days. I'm not sure what he's doing, but I know he's waiting for something. The secretary in the office might know." She nodded back to where you had been, and you told her you would be right back. Leaving your bag on your stool to save your spot, you jogged back into the office and the guy at the desk cast you a tired glance.

"Who is that guy?" You pointed toward the back corner, leaning your elbows on the ledge of the front desk.

"He's a bounty hunter of some sort I believe. He is looking for someone for some reason, is waiting there for leads. He's offering money for any information." He shrugged and you nodded in acknowledgement and headed back to the eatery. Your food was ready by the time you got back, and the waitress chuckled at how fast you shoveled it in. When you were done, you handed her your chit and meandered on over to the guy.

"I heard you're looking for someone?" You started casually and he looked up at you over his glasses and your eyes widened. He was freaking gorgeous. His left eye was highlighted red, it seemed he had some kind of hologram-like contact in it or something. His black hair was styled half up, his bangs resting over his brow. He had a few ear piercings, his left nostril had a simple loop ring, and a matching one in the middle of his bottom lip. A chain hung around his neck with a pendant on the end that was some kind of upside-down triangle design. He simply hummed in response and put a slip of paper in his book and shut it, taking his glasses off. You sat on the end of the booth, a big gap between the two of you since he was sitting in the corner of the circular seat. He slid his holo-tracker across the table showing you a blurry image from some kind of security feed. It was a person, that was about all you could tell, and they had a hood up over their head and only the bottom part of their face was visible.

"This it?" You looked back at him, and he was sitting there stiffly, just looking at you. He was really hot, actually. He had on a tan, old-style button up with the top few buttons undone. His pants were a brown leather of some kind, and he had a belt on with an attached thigh-holster that held a pistol blaster.

"They stole some schematics. I need them back more than to find the person." He tapped the screen as he looked at it upside down and it showed a second image. The person had a cylinder with a strap hung over their back.

"It’s a set of old maps, they were stolen from the archives at the museum in the Capital." he explained and you slid your finger over the full image, zooming out to see the area.

"You a bounty hunter?" You slid the holo-tracker back to him and he put it back in his pocket.

"Not really. I'm a Ranger."

"You're a Ranger!?" You perked up and he seemed taken aback by your sudden excitement. Rangers were a small and elite group, they were essentially vigilantes, freelancers. They tended to do more things like rescues or arrests, or other odd jobs. They had a pretty strict rule of not killing.

"So, you want the maps but don't need the thief?"

"Yes. I would be nice to get both, though."

"Hm. I'll ask around and see, I travel quite a bit-"

"Scavenger?"

"Y-yeah." You chuckled nervously under his intense gaze.

"Be careful out there, if you get a lead, message me." He got his tracker back out and you scanned his with yours to save his ID.

"What's your name?" you asked.

"Wonwoo…"

"(Y/N)." You smiled and got up from the booth, going to retrieve your chit.

"I'll let you know!" You grinned and waved goodbye, heading back in. Your timing was perfect because Junmyeon was finished and he told you the first wrecks weren't worth a whole lot, but the last one was.

"Two million credits?!" You balked at the number.

"Yeah. Seems it was some kind of cargo vessel, and they think it might still have all of the packages on it still. You could get even more depending on what's inside." He smiled at your gawk, and you finally shut your mouth.

"Woah."

"I can get you the two million now-"

"Really!?"

"Yes." He chuckled and you dug your chit back out and he slid it into the console so he could transfer the credits.

"Shit…" you whispered, your hand shaking a bit as you took the chit back.

"Are…you staying in a hotel tonight?" Junmyeon asked as you scrolled on your holo-tracker, admiring the giant number registered in your account.

"Yeah! I might upgrade my room~" You giggled, and he took a breath, trying to psych himself up, but no words came out before you stood to leave.

"Thanks, Myeon! I'll make sure to come here when I can, kay?" You waved goodbye and he sighed as you dashed out of his office. As you left to head back to your hotel, you saw that Wonwoo had left his booth and you wondered why. Getting outside, you realized the rally had gotten out, floods of people now walking the streets, a big crowd heading toward the diner.

"Ew." You sneered at the globs of people and dashed back to the hotel. When you got in the lobby, you skipped up to the front counter, ready to ding the bell and call the nice old man out for assistance.

"Oh?" Someone was sitting in the lobby, a book in his hand.

"Ran away from all the people?" You spoke a bit louder so he could hear you and he glanced up over his glasses again. His face wasn't quite so cold as before, but he wasn't smiling either.

"Yes." His tone was also lighter.

"There's about to be a bunch more. The campaign team is staying here and will be back soon." The old man had come out of the office, and you sneered as he laughed.

"Are you staying here too?" you asked Wonwoo who had put his book away and was taking his glasses off.

"I hadn't checked in yet."

"We do not have any more rooms available, sir. We just had an influx of online reservations since the rally got out so late…" The old man sighed, and you hummed.

"I have a second single bed in my room…?" You suggested, not meeting his eye as he came to stand by you. He had a small duffle over his shoulder. His eyes finally met yours, and he seemed a little nervous, but you could only see it in his eyes, past that red glowing contact.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Yes? I wouldn't have offered otherwise…" You huffed and the old man hummed.

"Here, I will get you a key as well." You both waited and when Wonwoo received the clear keycard, you both scurried to elevator, people starting to enter the lobby. Neither of you said anything till you had shut the door to the hotel room.

"Are you sure this is okay?" you asked him, he was even stiffer than before.

"Y-yes." He cleared his throat, and he went further into the room, taking the bed near the window since your stuff was on the other one. He told you he was going to shower, and you nodded as he dashed past you. Sighing, you shook away some very impure thoughts, and went to your safe, rolling it over to the bench under the clothing rack and hauling it up onto it with a grunt. It took two physical keys as well as two padlocks and a dial lock. It clicked each one open and then you were able to open it. The air seal 'shunked' as you opened it, and you carefully rested the lid on the wall so it wouldn't scratch it. Looking over your objects, you had some small crystal-like artifacts that you worried were just fakes from some kind of gift shop. You also had some intact parts for ship consoles and even jewelry. There had been just a random case you found washed up on the shore of an oasis once that had gold and silver necklaces and rings inside. It was never reported missing, so you just kept them. Other bits and pieces were inside as well, and your mind went back to the image Wonwoo had showed you. The hood was what caught your eye. The person was experienced, knowing how to hide their face from all angles, so they were probably an experienced thief. Who would want ancient maps though? Especially from Terra.

"What is all that?" His deep voice startled you; you hadn't even heard the bathroom door open. Glancing up, you swallowed hard at the sight. He had put most of his clothes back on, but his shirt was still unbuttoned, allowing you to see his toned torso. He had flopped a towel onto his head to dry his hair and was putting his glasses back on. Trying to ignore how freaking sexy he was, you cleared your throat and started to point things out. When you got to the crystals, you let him put up the one that was shaped like a pyramid.

"I don’t know if they are worth anything, they might be fakes.”

"Have you shone light through them?" he asked, and you hadn't even thought of it.

"No?" He handed it back and you dug through your bag and found your flashlight, holding it to the crystal.

"Woah!" You gasped as a map of the stars shone on the ceiling as the light passed through the crystal.

"Is it worth anything?" you asked him. It was cool but could still theoretically be from a gift shop.

"The fakes have a button to turn on the light, that's the real deal. Where did you find them?" He was buttoning his shirt up, unfortunately, picking up the three other crystals and coming to sit on his bead across from you. There was a sphere, one that looked like a big diamond and an obelisk. You handed him the flashlight and he shined it through the other ones. The sphere showed a projection of a globe, but it wasn't S.V.T or even Terra.

"Mars." he muttered, and you looked closer, recognizing the small dots over the surface as the towers that held the barrier around the planet. The diamond one lit up a bright aqua blue, but that seemed to be all it did. The obelisk projected the time and date, but it seemed to be from Mars as well.

"I found them in some cave. How the heck did they get all the way out here?"

"Were these the only things in the cave?"

"Yeah…So even though they are legit, are they worth anything?

"Hm. Maybe to a collector. I can take them to the museum when I go back-" he halted, "If you're okay with it, I'll pay you back." If he wasn't a Ranger, you would be more hesitant to allow it, because he could just pocket the money. You didn't think he would though, not with the reputation of his group at stake otherwise.

"Sure." You shrugged and he took them and put them in his own pack, and you went back to your safe and locked it up.

"Thank you for letting me stay here." He called suddenly as you tried to figure out how the holo-screen worked and what channels there were.

"Sure. I'm not a fan of big groups of people and this is the best hotel in town." You smiled at him, going to hand him the remote.

"Oh, no, you can choose. I'll just read." You nodded and didn't press to continue the conversation. While it was quiet between you two, it was companionable and before you knew it, you had drifted off the sleep, listening to some show and the flipping of his book pages. When you awoke, he was gone, but it was like ten in the morning, and there was an unread message on your holo-tracker.

Sorry I left without saying goodbye. Thank you for letting me stay in your room for the night. I am heading back to the capital for now and will get your crystal projectors estimated. Please let me know if you get any leads on the map thief. -Wonwoo

You sighed, a little disappointed he just left, but he seemed quite shy and closed off. Whatever. For the rest of the day and the next few you lazed about and did some fun things to spoil yourself after your big payout, enjoying your little vacation. Over the week afterwards you were having trouble finding anything significant and had stopped at a small tavern set up near a small oasis. You sat at the bar, laying on it dramatically. The bartender had moved the fan closer to you so it could blow straight on you as you lazily sipped from the straw in your fruity drink. You glanced casually at the entrance when another person entered, and you zeroed in on their face. They had a hood on, but that didn't mean it was for sure the person Wonwoo had been looking for. After he had gotten the money from the crystals, more than you thought but not a huge amount, he had sent you more information. It was a woman, presumably, and she was pretty tall and even always wore heeled boots. Your gaze shifted to their feet but couldn't see for sure and you couldn't even tell it was a woman. You and Wonwoo had actually been messaging some even past leads on the thief. You didn't have many friends and while he had the other rangers, he said it was nice to talk to someone new. As you sat at the bar, you watched her, pretending you weren't. You casually took out your holo-tracker and took a picture of the person as discreetly as you could, then headed out. You continued to wait and watch in your rover, ready to take a picture of their vehicle when they left. You thought you knew which one it was, but didn't know for sure, so you waited till they came back out. They got in the one you had been eyeing, and so once they headed off, you sent the two pictures and a few more details to Wonwoo. He thanked you for the update, then asked where you were. He then told you to meet him in the next town of Falko, and since you were headed there anyway…

The town was much smaller than Jaron, so there was only one small motel, so it was easy to find where he was and get to his room. He was on the first floor in room three. You knocked and barely waited before he opened it. He was…smiling. You didn't know he could do that. You forgot how gorgeous he was.

"T-thanks." You smiled bashfully and followed him inside. It seemed he had been there awhile based on everything spread out across the room. There were a few consoles set up as well as tablets and other tech.

"What's going on in here?" You motioned around the room.

"While I'm looking for the map thief, I'm also trying to get the Ranger's new communication array set up. I'm making the program myself so it can't be hacked by outside sources." Wonwoo shrugged, moving various tablets from one of the beds so you could sit down. He sat at the small desk and turned to face you. He asked a few questions about the person you saw, and you gave him more details from the pictures. It wasn't a whole lot to go on, but if it was them, then he now had their vehicle information. Before you could talk past leads on the thief, his holo-tracker went off and he read the message. He sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"My partner is coming back. It might be better if you leave." He stood to lead you out and you grimaced.

"I-It's not…I just don't want him to meet you…" He mumbled and you wanted to press the issue. His cheeks were slightly red, and he flashed another genuine smile as you left the motel room.

"I'll let you know if the lead pans out." You nodded and before you could turn and leave, he had held something out for you.

"What's this?" You took the little holo-card.

"Um…it's my address. If you are ever in Ratalla…I won't be back home for a few more days, but I should be working from there after…" Wonwoo rubbed his hands on his pants, then shoved his hands in his pockets when you noticed.

"Thanks." You gave him your own smile, then left giddily.

Nearly another month passed before you saw him in person again, but you messaged back and forth quite a lot. There was once you were near his hometown, but he wasn't there, so you missed the chance of seeing him again.

You had been meeting with a repair man in a city called Guro; your rover hadn’t been driving straight. It seemed he would need it for a few days to even determine the issue, let alone what to do after. At least you were in a place with lots of activities. You had actually gotten another half a million credits from the giant wreck you found and had more funds than you knew what to do with. As you left the shop, looking up on the extranet for the nicest hotel, someone caught your eye. Despite the heat of the desert and the midday sun, there was someone slinking around with a hood on. You watched them, eyes glancing at their feet. Heeled boots. It was also a woman, and her height matched the parameters. There was even a cylinder vessel hung over her shoulder. It was her. The area had most warehouses, and she might have been meeting a buyer, so you decided to follow her. You sent Wonwoo a message with your coordinates to see if he could send someone by as well, or better yet, call some Guards. You trotted behind her, trying to stay out of sight and remain quiet. Hiding quickly around the corner, you watched her go into an unmarked warehouse after looking around for followers. Not well enough. The thief had gone in through a large open garage door, so it made it easy for you to follow. Crouching against the wall right near the edge of the door you peered around the corner and saw she was alone, probably waiting for someone. She glanced at her holo-tracker, then went further in, toward the garage door on the opposite side that opened to a scrap yard. Looking for another hiding place, you dashed forward and hid behind a column. When you peered around though, she was gone.

"Why are you following me?" A voice called from behind you, and you spun to see the thief, holding a pistol blaster aimed at you. Your heart fell and sweat broke out on your brow. Those maps must be really valuable if this person was willing to shoot you to prevent the interruption of the hand-off.

"I-I was just trying to figure out who-" The woman pulled back the hammer on the weapon and your stomach dropped.

"Shit!" You scrambled up and tried to at least get around the column when you saw her finger going to the trigger.

"Fuck!" You slammed your back against the column, seeing a smoking scorch mark on the ground.

"(Y/N)!" a familiar voice shouted, and you were shocked by Wonwoo's presence, distracting you.

"Stupid bitch!" The thief was back behind you, and you spun to see the gun nearly at your head. You yelped when something yanked you back and you fell into a hard body. Leaning into him, you watched in terror as the woman fell back onto the ground, a hole in her head. Then you noticed not only were you breathing hard, but so was he. He spun you around to look over you, his hands on your shoulders, one going to your jaw to adjust your head so he could look you over.

"Are you okay?" He was nearly frantic, his face and tone filled with panic.

"Y-yes." You weren't sure to be more surprised by his sudden appearance or the clear worry he had for you. It made your heart thud but for a much different reason. When he had finished looking over you and determined himself you were okay, Wonwoo pulled you into a hug. You returned the embrace, more trying to comfort him than anything.

"Fuck, I was worried." He sighed right in your ear, his deep voice rumbling through you.

"You were?" He pulled back enough so he could meet your eye and huffed.

"Of course. You didn't reply when I messaged you to stay away…" His hand went back to your jaw, his thumb brushing over the skin of your cheek, which was rapidly getting warm and red. When you met his eyes again your widened, he got close again and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Are you okay?" You chuckled a bit, kind of worried. He had never shown this level of emotion before.

"Yeah." Wonwoo pulled way, petting your hair then went to the body of the woman. You tried to avoid looking at her as he took the map holder from her and soon the Guard showed up. It was another good hour or maybe two before you both were finally allowed to leave after giving statements and answering questions.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" he asked you as you left the warehouse district.

"Not yet. I was just about to find a hotel when I saw her…" You drifted off, pointing with your thumb in the general direction of where you just were.

"I got a crap ton of money from a wreck I found so I was going to go somewhere fancy." You smiled wide and he gave you a smaller one. Wonwoo took a step closer, looking a bit nervous, his voice had a slight waver when he spoke.

"Wanna get a room together?"

From everything after he asked that question, till your back hit the door of your hotel room, it was a blur. As soon as the door closed, he had you pressed against it, his lips swallowing yours. His big hand was at the back of your head, making sure it didn't hit the wood of the door. You had gotten one of the deluxe suites of the nice hotel, so the bedroom was separate from the living area, and there was a small kitchen even. When your lungs started to burn for more air, he finally pulled his mouth from yours. As you caught your breath, just looking at each other, Wonwoo leaned into whisper in your ear, "I'm going to fuck you on every surface in this place." He promised. Your head swam at the statement and whined.

"Please~" As soon as he got permission, he grabbed turned you around, your front pressed to the door and his nose nuzzled behind your ear. You let him do as he wished, running his hands under your thin top, starting to suck on the skin in the crook of your neck. You were a bit worried about him having to stoop over so far since he was so much taller, but if he wasn't complaining, neither would you. You could tell he was marking your skin as he licked, sucked, and nibbled over your neck and shoulders. His hands quickly got your shirt off and as his hands danced over the skin of your stomach, you toed your boots off, shoving them to the side. Before he completely removed it, Wonwoo slipped his hands under your breast band, palming the flesh, making you shiver. Undoing the latch, he took the wrap off and it fell to the floor as well. Not turning around to see for sure, you heard more fabric rustling and assumed he was removing his own top. You sighed when his arms wrapped around you, holding your back to his bare chest, the right hand cupping your left breast, and his other hand skating over your stomach. He smiled at the whining moan you let out when his hand finally went into your pants, long fingers stroking the wet patch on your panties.

"So wet, pretty girl." He kissed behind your ear, fingers tweaking your nipple.

"Wonwoo~" You whimpered when his bare fingers finally met your folds and he groaned.

"Let's see how tight you are." Every time he rumbled words in your ear, it made your whole body shiver. Sighing when his finger slid inside, he huffed, his hips twitching as your gummy walls sucked his finger in. You could feel his hardening cock through his pants, pressing into your back side. When Wonwoo added a second finger, crooking them up and pressing hard into your back wall, your legs buckled, and the only reason you didn't fall was his arms around you.

"Need to get your pussy ready for me, pretty." He smiled against your neck when your groan faded into a whine.

"Fuck~" You practically cried as his palm dug into your clit and you were already close.

"No!" You gasped when his fingers left right as you were getting to the edge.

"Wonwoo?" He had pulled away entirely, you only knew he was still behind you because his hands were on the waist band of your pants. He pulled them along with your underwear down and kneeled behind you, helping you get them off without falling over.

"Hold on, pretty girl." While you weren’t sure what he was about to do, your fingers dug futilely into the wood of the door. Your breath escaped you when he, without real warning, shoved his tongue into your cunt, his thumb flicking your clit. Your legs immediately began to shake, a mewl escaping with each rapid breath. You were done for when his lips sealed around your clit, barely flicking with his tongue, and your nails dug into the wood as you released on his tongue. He chuckled, your cunt dripping release onto the floor.

"Gonna have to clean this place good…" You joked, breathless and he laughed harder. Wonwoo hummed, standing back up. There was more shuffling as you rested against the door panting. You sighed when his arms came back to you, pulling you back into his now completely naked body. His cock was wedged in the crook of your ass, and you swore under your breath, why was he so freaking big? He was tall and his shoulders were broad, and apparently had to have a fat cock as well.

"Fuck!" You groaned when the head of his cock went to the entrance of your core. One of his arms wrapped around your ribs, the hand resting under your breast, and the other was at your hip.

"Ready?" His tone had shifted, it was playful and cocky, a slight laugh accompanied the word.

"Please!" You gasped as he started to push in, your legs shook as his dick stretched you open. You hadn't been fucked in a long time, and longer still fucked good. You panted out little whines as he kept filling you, and it seemed like he was going to end up in your throat. Your whole body was trembling when he finally bottomed out, his strong hips pressed against your ass.

"God, your cunt feels so good, princess." His groan rumbled through both of you. You couldn't see, but his head was thrown back, adam's apple bobbing as he tried to get used to how tight you were. When he realized you were on your tip toes trying to compensate for the height difference, he shifted to ease the strain. He backed up so you could lean forward more, and he angled his hips down. Your feet were no longer burning, and his new angle seemed to get him even deeper somehow. Your cunt was burning too, trying to accommodate his size, slick walls fluttering from the stimulation. He had still barely moved, letting you adjust, but you were growing close again.

"Move…" Your request was so quiet. You were trying not to moan like a bitch in heat even though that was exactly how you felt.

"Slow? Fast?"

"Fuck- Wonwoo, just-" He pulled out about halfway and thrust back in, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. You both moaned, his hands left their original positions to grip the flesh of your ass and he chuckled when you nearly sobbed as he started. Only pulling out part of the way, he would fuck back into you hard, grinding his pubic bone into you each time.

"Fucking hell, Wonwoo~" You ended up back on your toes just from the pleasure and you hoped they wouldn't fine you too bad for the scratches your nails were carving into the wood. All your breath got fucked out of you when he finally gave a full thrust, your orgasm slamming into you.

"Shit-" Wonwoo grunted when your already tight cunt squeezed him even more, he had to slow down just to keep himself from cumming as well. He smirked, watching your fingers twitch as you clawed the door, your head flopped forward between your shoulders.

"No, no, no!" You babbled as he pulled out all the way, huffing in amusement at your whining.

"Come here, pretty." Wonwoo easily lifted you, somewhere between like a sack of potatoes and a princess. Your head was still swimming from your orgasm, so the move to the next location was a bit blurry. You shivered and mewled when he set you on the counter that was in the mini kitchen of the suite, the marble very cold on your bare thighs and pussy. He laughed at your yelp when he pulled you, so your butt was right at the end of the counter, and didn't hesitate to bury himself back into you. The thrust was harsher and faster than the first and your hands flew to his shoulders to steady yourself as he restarted the brutal rhythm that he was fucking you against the door with. The man groaned when your nails dug into his skin instead of the wood, so he decided to mark you himself.

"Wonwoo~" Your voice wavered, eyes starting to tear up at the feeling of him fucking your brains out. His mouth went to your own shoulder, at the base of your neck. He started with open mouth kisses, then sucked the skin before lightly sinking his teeth in. He could feel your whimper against your throat, and you felt his responding hum from his lips. Wonwoo tightened his grip as well, wanting to leave bruises shaped like his hands on your skin. He was struggling to hold you upright enough, so you didn't bang your head against the counter, and his knees kept knocking into the cabinet.

"Hold on…" He grunted, and you squeaked when, without withdrawing, picked you up, holding your legs around his waist. Not going far, one hand held your butt and the other went to hitch your leg over his elbow as he pinned you to the wall. Luckily the paint on the wall wasn't textured, your back rubbing over the surface as you bounced on his cock. Wonwoo looked even more gorgeous than normal like that, naked, sweat covering his brow, pupils blown wide. The red, dancing hologram of his eye contact contracted and spun, and you wondered what it did, if anything. With hazy thoughts, you glanced down at his body, whining at the sight of his abs, clenched to work his hips and hold you up.

"Fuck, pretty girl-" He exhaled harshly, his thrusts getting less regular as he grew closer to his orgasm.

"Inside, please, fuck!" You pleaded and he had no desire to argue. His forehead landed on your shoulder, and he moaned higher than you thought he could go as he pumped his cum into you. In the silence, cutting through both of your panting breaths, your combined release dripped onto the tile floor. Your head was so empty you nearly didn't realize you had came again as well. You tried hard not to slump like a rag doll since he was completely holding you up, but you had nearly no strength.

"Let's get to the bed." Wonwoo stood up straight, staying inside, his cock still rock-hard and he carried you to the separate bedroom of the suite. While he meant to set you down on the bed gently, you flopped onto it, letting yourself finally go boneless, your muscles and mind were mush. You weren't sure if you could go any longer, but despite a bit of sweat on him, he was unaffected.

"I've been waiting to fuck you since you came to my motel room in Falko." He admitted, shifting you higher on the bed, following suit, his hard cock covered in both of yours cum resting between the folds of your cunt. You barely registered the confession before your back arched, his cock finding its home inside of you again. It was hard to fully catch your breath, he was battering his cock into your dripping cunt without any mercy. As he rolled his hips just right to hit every single good spot inside of you, his hands gripped your thighs, maneuvering your weakly shaking thighs so they were pressed to your chest, knees at your ears.

"D-daddy, go slower!" You keened and his hips immediately stopped. You were too far gone to feel anything but a bit of respite, head flopping so your cheek rested on the pillow.

"Fucking hell, princess." Somehow his voice had gotten deeper, and he started the brutal pace back up, snapping his hips even harder than before. If you had the strength to scream you would, but your throat was hoarse, so you just mewled and squeaked, drool pooling from the corners of your mouth, tears down your cheeks.

"You love daddy's cock ruining your sweet little cunt, huh?" He huffed when your glassy eyes met his. The red hologram spun and danced, and while you couldn't see, through the lens he had a much different view. Little numbers and labels shown in the air around your body, telling him how and where your brain was firing, your heart rate, body temperature, blood pressure. He could even highlight where blood pooled to the bruises his hands had made.

"Yes~!" You gasped as his thrusts slowed down, but just as hard, he barely pulled out before grinding down into you. Different sensors from his lens flashed on and he could tell you were getting close already. Even without it, he could feel your walls pulsing, more of your wet dripping from where your bodies met.

"You wanna cum, pretty?" You nodded rapidly, whimpering positively.

"Cum for daddy, then." And with one more thrust you fell over the edge. Not just from his words, but also the rough friction of his pelvic bone meeting your clit. Wonwoo chuckled as he felt your pussy spasm, more of your cum squirting from your quivering folds, coating his skin as well. He had a feeling you were spent even though he knew he could keep going. He had stilled inside of you, so he didn't overstimulate you too much, and he wasn't for sure you were still conscious. Your eyes were closed, arms resting on the bed up by your head. He smiled warmly, cooing at your fucked out state, letting your legs go so they could rest onto the bed as well. When he pulled out you shuddered, a long shaky keen floating from your parted lips. He was shocked at the globs of thick, white cum that dripped out of your swollen cunt and he was still unfortunately still very hard. After feeling your core milk him dry, he wasn't sure even a cold shower would calm him down. Though, seeing you laying there, he felt a little bad he had caused you to become so worn out and didn't want to be selfish.

"Oh, princess." Wonwoo leaned back over you, kissing your cheek, the corner of your mouth, then softly pressed his lips to yours. You sighed and it made him grin, you were at least conscious.

"You're still hard." Your voice was quiet, higher than normal, almost whiny.

"It's okay, pretty, you're tired." Wonwoo nuzzled the side of your neck under your ear, lightly sucking on your ear lobe. If he wasn't careful, he would not be able to resist sliding back inside you. With the little strength you had return to you, you pushed him back just enough that you could flop over onto your stomach.

"(Y/N), we don't-" You didn't let him finish, grabbing a pillow to shove under your hips, lifting your butt a bit higher.

"Please, daddy~" You looked at him with shining eyes over your shoulder, and who was he to resist?

"Oh, fuck, princess. If you insist…"

Masterlist

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staytinyville · 7 months

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Stay Alive (11)

BTS poly!ot7 x Reader

Magical Creatures AU

Series Masterlist

Warnings: None

A/N NOT BETA READ (I did try the best to my ability). We're heading into the chapters where I tell you guys about their creatures. I want to hear your thoughts for each one! Shoutout to @laymegentlytorest and @kingarthurscat for your reblogs and comments. I love you guys lol. Keep them coming!

That day you had walked into work, you had thought it was going to be like any other. You had grown accustomed to the normal notes you would take on a daily. There had been nothing new to write about so you had no idea on how to deal with one of your patients withering in pain on the floor.

You hadn’t been able to find the boy in his room until you walked further in and heard his distressed breathing on the other side of the bed. You rushed over to find him curled up in a fetal position, breathing harshly.

“Kook?” You gasped, falling to the floor as you hesitated touching him. “What hurts?” You asked, trying to look him over and find the problem.

“Get away.” He gritted out, hands slapping onto the floor as he tried pulling himself up.

“No, you have to tell me.” You moved your hands to help him, tightening up your body as his hands gripped tightly onto your scrubs. “I have to take care of you.” You told him, helping him onto the bed.

“(Y/N). Please.” The boy whispered, panting. “It's not a good day.” He curled back up on his bed, groaning as his body seemed to twitch in pain.

From what you could see, he wasn’t physically hurt. Not to the naked eye at least. Whatever it was that was causing him pain was on the inside of his body. You figured it must have to do with his condition.

“Let me get you something.” You told him, moving to find the first aid kit. As you found some pain meds, you quickly filled a cup with water and moved back towards him. “Here take these.” You told him, handing him the pills.

Jungkook looked at your hand, smiling stiffly at your way of helping him. “They won't help, Tokki.”

He almost broke down when he saw tears well in your eyes. “Please, Kook.” You whispered. “I don't like seeing you in pain.” You sniffled.

He tried his best to get up to take the medicine, but someone shoving the door open stopped him from moving more. You both turned to the intruder, frowning at the nurse who had interrupted.

“(Y/N).” She said, looking between you and Jungkook. “ Doctor Hanseol would like to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched Jungkosk shiver from pain, clenching his muscles to soothe them. “I can't leave Jungkook.” You spoke up, shaking your head.

“He's in the lab.” The lady told you, not caring about Jungkook’s stability. You frowned deeply, looking at the man in worry.

“Will you be alright?” You softly asked him.

“Nothing I'm not used to.” He gave you a grin, wincing as his body shuddered again. You hesitated in getting up to leave, however seeing the stare the other nurse gave you made you rush outside.

You walked out into the main lobby to get access into the lab. While your badge had access to most rooms in the facility, the lab was not one of them. It seemed much more secure that not even the lab workers could get in. They needed someone to buzz them in. You understood all the security, however it was a bit excessive.

“Sir.” You bowed when you noticed your boss looking through a window.

As you grew closer you noticed it was to show the lab where the medicines were produced. They didn’t have large machines doing the work. Rather it was a variety of researchers hand making the drugs. There were a total of 5 each, being careful with whatever it was they were mixing.

You knew the company wasn’t large, even after 10 years. They had spent a good while with research from what you saw. They had barely started to give out their drugs for trials a few years ago which meant that they weren’t out to the public yet. It takes a long while to create the right medicine. And by the looks of it HYBE was heading in the right direction.

“Hello, (Y/N).” Hanseol kept his eyes on the window. “How are you?”

You tried not to frown at the small talk. “I'm fine. It's a very nice day today.” You spoke up.

“Yes.” Hanseol said. “Indeed it is.”

You hummed, turning to him as your anxiety flowed over. “Is there anything you need, sir?” You asked, trying to be polite. “Jungkook is not feeling well and I need to check up on him.”

“Is he now?” Hanseol squinted his eyes. “I think I know why.” He turned to you finally. “Not to worry, he goes through those episodes monthly.” He explained to you.

“He does?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Such a terrible thing for him really.” Hanseol hummed, turning back to the lab.

Just as you were about to ask for more of Jungkook’s information, an alarm started beeping from the lobby. Both you and your superior rushed out to the lobby following after the security that ran into the facility.

A large gathering had formed towards the bedroom sections, which made you have to push through the crowd. Your eyes went wide as you realized the security were all in Jungkook’s room. Without thinking you ran forward to enter. However, you were held back by someone.

“Jungkook!” You yelled. You watched as the man wildly thrashed around in the arms of some larger men. He had his teeth pulled back as growls seemed to ripple from his chest. He was hunched over, trying to throw off the people holding him down.

“Hey!” You tried to punch at the arm that was tightly holding you back. “What's wrong with him?” You cried out.

“Miss you need to step back.” The security man spoke.

“No, he's my patient!” You screamed. “I need to check on him.” You wriggled more, feeling tears well in your eyes as you felt frustrated with the security. When a whimper left Jungkook’s mouth, your head shot up, wide eyes on the man.

“Jungkook!” You cried, grunting as you started kicking and thrashing.

The man quickly looked up hearing your voice. When he saw the tears in your eyes and the man holding you back, the loudest of growls ripped from his throat, scaring those in the hallway. He grew angry seeing you be held in such a horrendous manner. He pulled a security guard off his arm, throwing him to the side.

“Let her go!” He screamed, throwing the guards off him. They were quick to hold him back once more, Jungkook going back to fighting them off.

Outside in the hallway, all of Jungkook’s brothers were trying their best to rush in and calm him down, however they too were being held back. Hanseol had a scowl on his face as he watched the boy beat the best security his kind had. He guessed even ogres couldn’t hold down an angry dog.

“Hoseok sedate him.” Hanseol told the boy.

Hobi quickly looked up to Hanseol, a worried expression on his face. “But he's not in the right state of mind.” He told the man.

There were consequences to doing things wrong. With how fragile Jungkook was at the moment, hypnotizing him would put him into a deep sleep that almost resembled a coma. Hobi would need more energy to wake the boy up.

“Do it.” Hanseol sneered.

Hobi glanced at Namjoon, getting a deep sigh from the taller man. He nodded his head once, glancing back into the room where Jungkook started to break furniture by throwing bodies over them.

Hobi moved past all the guards, making quick work to enter Jungkook’s room. He had been turned around which allowed Hobi to place his hands on the boy’s head. “I’m sorry.” Hobi whispers as purple mist flowed out of his fingers and into Jungkook’s eyes.

Jungkook didn’t do any else other than fall over onto the ground in a heep. “No!” You cried, tears falling down your cheeks. “Stop! Let him go!”

“Hey.” Namjoon spoke up, taking you out of the guards arms. As the guard tried to take you away from Namjoon, the dimpled man only gave him a death stare causing him to back off.

“(Y/N), he's going to be okay.” Namjoon soothed your, wiping your cheeks. “It'll pass.”

“What happened?” You began to hiccup, soflty rubbing your face into Namjoon’s clothing. The other boys gathered around you, trying their best to calm you down.

“It's what he's here for.” Jin told you, rubbing your back lightly. “He'll be fine.”

Hanseol sighed deeply as he rubbed at his nose bridge, turning aorund to head out his god forsaken facility. When he turned up at the lobby, he found his co-founder watching from the securtity cameras. The man turned to his friend, hands in his pockets.

“He's never acted out in that way before.” He spoke up nochalanty. “He's protective of the girl.” He added looking down at the computers that showed the hallway camera.

“She's not the first one.” Hanseol rolled his eyes. “However, you are right.”

The man turned to his friend, a deep frown on his lips as he suddenly felt annoyed. “Where have you been? You know we have three patients who are affected by the full moon. I only need you two days out of the month and you weren't even here.” He glared.

“Stop calling them patients.” Kyong rolled his eyes. “You harvest from them.”

“No. That is inhumane.” Hanseol shook his head, looking appaled. “What I do is simply extract certain things at a certain time to get the DNA I need. It’s to help those who need it most.” Hanseol smiled to himself, thinking about all the sick people he was helping.

“I don't see the difference.” Kyong deadpanned.

“Of course you don't, you big idiot.” Hanseol returned to glaring. “Now come on. You got two patients to sedate.”

I'm a bitch for people using the nickname Tokki when it comes to Jungkook.

Series Masterlist

@h3arteyes4mingi , @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh , @rinkud, @rln-byg ,

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serahlink · 5 months

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🚨 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN🚨 tw // homeless / some med talk but not much

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Making a new post to hopefully get some work for my family and I so we have somewhere to stay for tonight, since work has been very slow lately. I'm Link, and I'm a 22-year old artist, and my family and I (me + my father and younger sibling) have been homeless since November 2021. It's a long story. TL;DR version is at the same time, while I was living with a friend and my dad + younger sibling was on the road (he drove a van at the time) he had gotten into a diabetic coma and was fired by his job. Being fired meant he or my sibling didn't exactly have a home to go back to, as our relatives on both sides refused to help. At the same time, I was going to have to find someplace else since my friends grandmother was entering the late stages of her life and they had to transfer her to the nursery, meaning there was a lot of things his family had to take care of and I couldn't be there. They allowed my father, sibling and I to stay there for two weeks to give us time to find someplace else.

While I was there, I'd been doing commissions to help their family out with food, and since it was either the streets or living under a roof; I told my friend to take us to a nearby motel since we had enough for a day, and we could figure things out from there. So since then, I've been keeping us here by doing commissions ever since. Either of us haven't been able to obtain a job yet due to how hard it is for us to get our documents to get an id (we dont have a car at the moment, and saving money for the room and food is already tough as is), but recently we think we might be able to get my father's ID so he can work, were waiting on his lung condition to recover fully and get money saved up for the documents and all that before we apply to get them. So hope isn't fully lost for us, we just need to take care of some things for a while longer until then.

Recently, things have gotten worse again. We were paying weekly thanks to the help from my followers and commissions I was getting, but when we weren't able to pay for another, we went back to paying daily again. And immediately we were set back. For the past few days, we haven't been able to pay for one let alone food. We were able to pay most of it to at least stay here, thanks to the kindness of the staff, but they called us earlier to tell us if we couldn't pay everything tonight, then we'd have to leave. We owe 120 by 11pm tonight, and I thought maybe making a new post might help us since posting on my other socials hasn't done much for us lately.

My commissions are open, and if you're interested in helping us out via a commission you can contact me through my Tumblr dms since it's the easiest way to get to me. But if you can't help financially, which I totally understand, I know the economy is tough on all of us right now, please don't feel bad or anything. Reblogs also help us a ton, and it always means a lot to us.

For the commission info itself, I have it all packed into this link right here, along with examples of my art and prices. I draw mainly fantasy pertaining to the Dragon Age Series and although I know little to nothing about Baulders Gate, I have done some art of tavs before! I also do DnD work as well, so I'm used to drawing pretty unique characters. I'll also put some examples I have below. If you want something outside of that, I'm sure I can provide, just let me know upon your request! And I think that's all. Much love to you and thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 months

Text

Same as it ever was 10

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner

Note: need a little time to figure out don't speak so here ya are.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Your dreams are muddied with the dregs of your reality. You wade through the swamp of waking horrors mutated by the nonsensical hues of your subconscious. Your escape is less than happy as you open your eyes to stare at the basement ceiling. The water stain there is just another latent trouble waiting to implode.

The most potent reminder of the utter disarray if your life isn't the heaps of laundry waiting by the machine or the steady drip from the old wash sink. It's the violent pang radiating from your tailbone, another tenderly throbbing by your shoulder blade. The mortifying scene plays in your mind; Pete's obtuse come on and your own bitter and insecure rejection.

Your morning routine is made more tedious by your condition. Every move is tinged in torment and the kids seem unexpectedly rambunctious. Or maybe you just can't keep up with them.

You get them packed up and in the car. You were so swept up, you didn't even get your morning coffee. It's not as if you'd expected this day to go any smoother than the last. Thankfully, you don’t run into your husband.

School drop off is just as hectic, ominous if anything. You tell Simone to take Malik inside for you as you stay behind the wheel.

“Are you okay?” She asks, ever observative. Why does she have to be so smart? Hopefully, she stays that way.

“Good, just had a late night,” you assure her, “I’ve got a big… meeting this morning.”

“Yeah, dad said something about a promotion,” she unbuckles her seat belt and sidles over to unclasp Malik from his seat.

“Do you need help, honey?” You ask, steeling yourself at the idea of getting out of the car.

“I got it,” she insists. “Are you going to work late again?”

“I… don’t think so,” you answer tenuously.

“Oh,” is all she can utter. She gets Malik out and grabs both their bookbags. “Come on,” she tugs on his hand as he opens her door.

“Love you guys,” you say.

“Love you, mommy!” Malik sings.

“Yeah, love ya too,” Simone mutters then huffs at Malik, “hurry up. I wanna read before class.”

She shuts the door, a bit heavier than you expect, and you watch them until they get to the front doors, meeting the other clusters of students and parents. You inhale and turn forward, flicking your lashes as your eyes burn. Your back is on fire with pain, but worse, your heart is a pit of agony. You feel your family crumbling all around you.

A pair of headlights flash in your rear view and you shift into gear and slowly roll away from the pick up area. You grip the wheel tight and wiggle your nose, resisting the hot wall of tears trembling in your head. You don’t know what to do, there’s nothing to do but keep going. Things will change, they always do.

You watch the time as you drive to work. You pull into the lot and click the button on your seat belt, letting it repel as you lean back. Oh god, the hardest part, getting out. With each second, you feel worse. So what? Some bruises? You’ve dealt with worse.

You open the door and snatch your bag from the other seat. You turn sideways, bag on your elbow, as you grip the side of the car and the steering wheel and push yourself to your feet. You smother a yelp to a whimper. Your legs shake with the pain hammering in your tailbone.

You lean on the door as you close it. You take another deep breath, this one racks you torturously. You set your feet and limp along the side of the building in your beat up Keds. No heels or flats, you need support.

You nearly fall into the elevator, relieved to be alone for the ride up. You lean on the wall and watch the floor light up one at a time. You hobble off, holding your lower back. It’s not an unusual sight. Your hips have been fucked up since your second pregnancy.

You limp past your desk as you keep your morning task in mind. You just want it done and over with. Then you can sit in the ungodly office chair and try not to break.

You’ve never been so thankful for the apathy of your coworkers. Hansen trained them well. They know to only worry about themselves and their work. The exemplar of capitalistic character.

You approach Hansen’s office door. To your surprise, it’s unlocked. You let yourself in, not bothering to make sure you’re unseen. Who gives a fuck anymore? He is hardly the beacon of discretion.

You drop your bag on the long console table with the vase of fake lilies and keep moving. You can’t stop. You undress without hesitation. You treat it like business. No point in wasting time.

You pile your clothes in the uncomfortable acrylic chair across from the immense leather throne on its swivel. You round the desk and stumble. You catch yourself as you brace your back and whine. Oh god, shit.

You give in to the tremble in your legs and fall to your knees. You drag yourself under the desk and sit on your knees. That’s not a good idea. You grit your teeth and gulp. You’ve never felt pain like this. Well you have, but you know you’re not going into labour.

Your legs are tingly despite the hot pain coursing around your hips. You do your best to breathe through it as you wait. What are you even doing? How did it come to this? For christ sakes, your forty-fucking-four years old. Waiting like some bimbo in your boss’ office.

Before you can sink into your self-loathing, you hear the door. He clicks his tongue as you listen to his deliberate gait. He’s making a show of it. He’s drawing it out. You bite back your irritation. As much as he plays around, he’s easy. Just like Pete. He’s entirely ruled by that dangling worm between his legs.

He sighs and struts around. You can picture the smug smirk under his dumb mustache. But you don’t. You’re already tensed up.

There’s a clink on the desk as he sets down his coffee and he hums as he rolls the chair out. He sits and spreads his knees wide. There’s a twitch in his pants. His finely tailored pants that probably cost more than your mortgage.

“Good morning,” he grips the arms of the chair as he leans back.

You don’t say a word as you reach for him. He wheels closer as you pop the top button of his pants. His gaze is stolid on you. You feel yourself sweating under it. It’s more humiliating to know he’s watching you so intently.

You tug down his fly. No underwear. You’re hardly surprised. The man who doesn’t wear socks with his tacky loafers likely doesn’t have a very full top drawer. You pull him through the vee of fabric and stroke his half-hard length.

“I didn’t even play with myself in the shower,” he taunts, “I saved it all for you.”

He snorts as you stay silent. You just keep going. He takes a breath and lets it out through his nose.

“Who pissed in your coffee?” He asks.

You once more have no answer. He flinches as you squeeze around his tip and roll your palm over it. He hisses as he squeezes the leather armrests.

“Fucking balls,” he puffs as he tilts his head back, “those hands–”

You bring your other hand up to cup him from below. You remember when you used to enjoy this. When you wanted it. How Pete’s groans used to spark a thrill in you but this, this just makes you feel grimy.

“Shit, shit,” he gulps, “slow down, baby face.”

You ignore him and he spasms. He sits forward and grabs your wrists, stopping you. You clench your jaw and look up at him.

“Hey, slow the fuck down,” he warns you, “the fuck’s your problem?”

You shrug and your cheek strains as even just that gesture tweaks in your hips. You stare at him dully. He tilts his head as he juts his jaw out. His lip curls as he rolls himself away in the chair. He snaps his fingers.

“Get out of there,” he demands.

You blink to keep from rolling your eyes. You put your hands on the floor but can’t move. You try to crawl forward but just can’t. Your tailbone is throbbing.

“I said get up,” he snaps.

“I can’t,” you rasp.

“What?” He leans forward.

“I fucking can’t–”

“Jesus fuck,” he stands and bends over you, angling around to hook his arms around you.

He hauls you up and you squeal as the fire shoots around your hips. He holds you under your arms as he turns you and lets you fall against his desk. You land on the flat keyboard and very pointy paperweight.

“Damn,” he smacks your ass, the flesh jiggling on impact, “look at that.”

You cry out, louder than you mean too. You whimper and hit the desk with your fist. He peels his hand away and you sense him raise it again. You stretch your arm behind you and wave at him desperately.

“No, no, please–” Your hand falls to your tailbone and you whine, “stop.”

You squeeze your thighs tight, overly aware of the dimples in the flesh and the lines rippled into the skin. Worse than the agony is the exposure. Both overwhelm you to the point of defeat.

“What?” He snips.

“I think– I think something’s wrong with me,” you choke out, feeling along your back. There’s a tender bump right along the base of your spine.

“What’s wrong?” He growls.

“Look…” you try to push yourself off the desk and your legs wobble. Before you can crumple to the floor, he catches you. Thankfully, surprisingly. “I fell in the shower last night,” your throat tightens at the admission of your own mortality, “I’m old, alright? And I fucking hurt myself.”

He sighs. His demeanour changes, not so rough, not so impatient as he angles you into the leather chair. It hurts just as much but you don’t care. It’s better than the floor.

“Fuck,” he puts his hands on his hips, his dick still standing above his pants. No shame. “Fine, you finish the job and I’ll let you off for the day. Go see a fucking doctor.”

You furrow your brow at him. Really?

“Well, you’re halfway there, sweet cheeks,” he turns a palm out, “so, get on it.”

Disbelief? Hardly. You could predict this. But you're exasperated and exhausted and you could rip that damn thing off his body.

You clamp your lips tight and sit up as best you can. You reach for him, gripping him tightly so he yipes. He slaps your wrist.

“Hey, lay off,” he warns.

You sniff but listen. You ease up and stroke him. He falls back into his groans, hands on his hips as he pushes his pelvis towards you. You just stare at the hem of his shirt as you keep a steady rhythm. How can men be so simple but make things so difficult?

You flinch as he bends his knees, just a bit, and reaches for your chest. You try to bat him away but he throws your hand back. He cups your tit and kneads, rolling his thumb over your nipple. You shudder and look away, crossing your arm around your stomach. You hope he can’t see everything from up there.

“Can I come on your tits?” He snarls, “don’t know why I’m asking…”

He steps closer and you feel him getting closer. His body tenses as his other hand goes to your shoulder and he rocks his hips, as good as fucking your hand. You direct his tip down and turn your chin up, disgusted as he quakes in your grip.

He grunts as he cums, his voice trailing off in thick moans as he unleashes on you. Cords of his cum string over your chest and up your neck. You swallow down your disgust as you see him through his climax, finishing with another pinch on your nipple.

He lets you go and backs up, “whew,” he blows out and gives an emphatic shiver.

You puff and gather what’s left of your strength. It’s done. You’re free. For a few hours at least. You let the pain roll out in a guttural grunt as you stand and stagger to grab a tissue from the sleek metal box on his desk. You do your best to clean yourself up. Hopefully you can do a better job at the clinic in case they need to do any tests.

“That was fucking… spectacular,” he nears and grabs a tissue of his own, brushing against your back, “even dragging your tail around like a beat dog, you just get the job done, don’t you?”

You need a coffee. You’re going to punch him. You take another tissue and continue to sop up the slimy mess.

You wince as his hand settles on your ass. It isn’t as bad as the slap but it still makes you yelp. He tuts and retracted his touch.

“Goddamn,” he mutters. “You go get yourself figured the fuck out.” His frustration cracks in his voice, “I was looking forward to this…”

“Life doesn’t always go as we planned,” you shake your head and toss out the tissues. You go to the chair and grab your underwear, letting them unfurl.

“Wouldn’t you fucking know?” He barks, “give me those.” He yanks the underwear from your grasp, “I told you, forget the fucking parachute.” He throws them and shakes his head, “you know, that’s the problem with you old ones, you don’t fucking listen.”

You grab your pants as he simmers. You lean on the chair as you lift each foot and pull the belt to your waist. He looms, pacing, huffing and puffing.

“...hurt your fucking back....”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” you murmur.

“You’re lucky you have good hands,” he carries on, “very fucking lucky. I could bankrupt you. You and your little brats would be out on the street–”

“Mr. Hansen,” you hook your bra behind your back with a torturous effort, “please–”

“You just keep them in mind, huh?” He sneers, “you better not be fucking lying.”

“I wish I was,” you grab your blouse and hook it over your head, poking your arms into the sleeves.

“Wait, wait,” he waves his hand and blocks you from the door, “you think… if you laid down… I could just slide in?”

You give a look. The look. The one you give Pete when he forgets something at the grocery store. Or the kids when they won’t stop fighting. He blanches as his eyes meet yours.

“Alright, alright, go see a doctor,” he relents, his frustration still sharp. “The sooner, the fucking better.”

He wags his finger in your face before he backs up. You limp to the door and grab your bag before you let yourself out. As you shut the door, you hear a thump. You see more tantrums from grown men than you do your own children.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #same as it ever was #pete brenner #dark pete brenner #dark!pete brenner #pete brenner x reader #series #the gray man #pain hustlers #au

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inquebrar · 3 months

Text

sighing deeply and here we go again... i didn't think i would talk about this but this time it happened in one of my posts so i'll try to explain something from the point of view of someone who is aspec myself.

from the moment q!Cellbit got into a relationship with q!Roier before the wedding, there was a lot of talk about the honeymoon and q!Cellbit always made it clear by replying "i don't feel interested in that" "i don't like" "i don't do these things" and then this gave us a beautiful scene (which could easily not have happened if it wasn't important to the character) where q!Roier listens to q!Cellbit explaining that he would like them to sleep together but that he will not have sex and asked if there was any problem with that, then we had a moment of understanding and acceptance that only strengthened their marriage.

after that moment there were several other situations where it's clear that q!Cellbit's asexuality is not something superficial and used only as a meaningless label, but since then many people have started to make disrespectful comments, with misinformation and even contradictory to what was being said. no one ever said that q!Cellbit is the definition of asexuality as a whole, but to say that he is a character that brings us asexual representativity is no harm at all, being queer embraces many things and within the lgbtqia+ community there are various spectrums of sexuality and gender identity. there are people who are asexuals who also identify as aromantic but there are people who are only aromantic, they're two different things that can sometimes be together or not, in the same way that there are asexuals who experiences sexual attraction under specific conditions, some are strict asexuals, some experiences sexual attraction more or less, others are sex-repulsed others can have sex even without feeling sexually attracted and there are still many other variations and spectrums, and they are all valid and real.

to have a character who is canonically married and talks about not being interested in sex, is far from being something stereotypical. i have literally never had any representativity like that, especially because it's a big issue "not having sex is a sign of a failed marriage/relationship" now imagine that in a gay relationship. a character doesn't need to constantly remind people "hello! i'm asexual" and carry the flag for people to take it seriously, also many scenes that involve a better understanding of q!Cellbit being on the asexual spectrum he's speaking in portuguese so to people who don't speak this language lose a lot of context and subtle moments because that's how it really happens. and in general, if you want to have a headcanon that he's not asexual or you just don't think he is, i just ask, please be more respectful, it's great to receive asexual representativity in different ways, through different characters on different spectrums! let people feel joy and show appreciation, celebrate and just be happy.

your sexuality is valid and having a character that makes you feel happy and gives you a representativity that you've never had before and to have moments where you can relate is incredible! so please, if you are going to make negative comments or complaints that may make people uncomfortable, please use "neg" or "discourse" tags and don't do that on reblogs that have nothing related to negativity or stuff like that, always keep in mind to be respectful, please, it's not too much to ask 🙂

#qsmp #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #q!roier #asexuality is a spectrum it's always good to remember that

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bl4cktourmaline · 5 months

Note

hey so um i would like to request n25 (separately) having going a haunted house with reader? (again sorry for the trouble 😔)

(((p(>o<)q))) Boo! — nightcord at 25:00

✿ — ♬ ⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ : x is typing... ✉!

✿ — ↻ SYNOPSIS : Going to a haunted house with N25

✿ — ♯ GENRE : Fluff

✿ — ↠ NOTE : It's alright anon! Hopefully this rewrite will satisfy you<3

✿ — ♪ REMINDER : reblogs & likes are appreciated, in doing so will motivate us to continue delivering stories to you, thank you for all of your supports ~ !

If you would like to request, click 'here' and read the writing rules for each writer!

✿ — ► ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Yoisaki Kanade, Asahina Mafuyu, Shinonome Ena & Akiyama Mizuki

(^_^♪) — yoisaki kanade

𝅘𝅥𝅮 It'd probably take some convincing to make Kanade leave her house. Worse yet, trying to make the girl into a haunted place too!

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Kanade most likely ended up accepting due to your constant pleading and her knowledge of you enjoying horror-themed things!

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Although she accepted, please look after her and make sure she doesn't get lost and end up all alone! After all, she doesn't really enjoy haunted houses much as they scare her..

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Kanade got a little too distracted during the haunted house tour due to wanting to find inspiration to make her next piece, which resulted in her losing sight of you.

"[N-name]..? W-where did you go.."

𝅘𝅥𝅮 When you found her again, you decided to hold her hand as you guys continued traversing through the haunted house to prevent losing her again and to let her know you're right beside her!

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Overall, Kanade did enjoy the day out with you at the haunted house besides getting lost. She wouldn't mind doing it again if it is you and if it means she could feel the warmth of your hand again.

(๑꧆◡꧆๑) — asahina mafuyu

𝅘𝅥𝅮 It wasn't hard getting Mafuyu to accept your invitation to go to a haunted house together. However her mother was the issue..

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Although she did skip prep school once to hang out with you. You immediately took this opportunity to bring her to a famous haunted house.

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Mafuyu didn't quite get why you enjoyed being spooked but went in with you regardless.

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Since it was a famous haunted house you both went too, the decorations looks so surreal with the jumpscares being so phenomenal. If you were ever scared, Mafuyu would lend her hand to hold yours.

"The trip? It wasn't that scary. I don't know why you were so scared."

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Mafuyu did not know whether she liked the trip, but her chest felt light whenever she saw you having fun. Maybe she will skip prep school again to hang out with you..

(・ωｰ)～☆ — shinonome ena

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Convincing Ena is going to be really hard as she doesn't enjoy haunted houses or anything scary at all!

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Ena doesn't understand why you liked haunted houses so much. Where's the fun in being scared?! She would rather watch something cute and wholesome instead of being scared.

𝅘𝅥𝅮 However, she did end up accepting your request. Just because it is from you and some bribery- , and she wanted to make you feel happy. Though, with the condition that you won't lose her at all during the entire tour!

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Watching Ena during the whole haunted house trip was really a blast. She would keep flinching and screaming, even hiding behind you at some point which made you amused.

"I'm not scared! Don't you dare tell this to Mizu- AHHHH!"

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Safe to say, Ena did not like the trip. However when she saw you smiling and having lots of fun, she wouldn't mind doing it again with you. You still need to bribe her again though.

٩(•͈ ꇴ •͈)و ̑̑❀ — akiyama mizuki

𝅘𝅥𝅮 When you invited Mizuki to go to a haunted house with you. They were quite eccentric about it!

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Mizuki was really happy to hear that you enjoyed horror-themed stuff as well since N25 and their other friends would turn them down as they didn't like to be scared

𝅘𝅥𝅮 During the entire haunted house trip, although it was you who originally invited Mizuki to hang out. They were the ones dragging you everywhere.

"Look name! A basement~ let's go check it out!"

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Whenever an employee jumpscares the both of you. You guys would laugh about it before running away in another direction.

𝅘𝅥𝅮 Overall, Mizuki was really satisfied and happy they got to enjoy a haunted house trip with you! Expect them to invite you to more in the future~

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latteseungs · 1 year

Text

moth to a flame : seungmin

moth to a flame : ksm

pairing: seungmin x f!reader (ft. lee know) genre: heavy angst, smut, there's not a speck of fluff in this, non-idol au word count: 4.4k warnings: 18+ minors please do not interact. cheating (please do not read if you are uncomfy with themes like this and for the love of god please don't cheat), name calling (babe, baby, love), explicit sexual content, desperate / jealous / possessive unprotected sex, fingering, creampie, choking, use of foul language, drinking, masturbation (m), oral (f. receiving), no happy ending, god this is a lot wow

✦ 。description: you loved seungmin out of convenience. but he was almost everything you ever wished for. the only thing missing was he wasn't minho.

📓 .✦𓂃 masterlist | AO3 | reblogs are very much appreciated <3

author's note: be mindful of the timestamps. hihi. this fic is inspired by moth to a flame by swedish house mafia ft. the weeknd, illicit affairs by taylor swift, and a few hints of high infidelity by taylor swift too. i highly recommend giving moth to a flame a listen while you read <3 an additional warning that i hate y/n here. i really do. lmAO. also, would really really appreciate some feedback because this was kinda out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing. anw, thanks for being here!!

april 2023 7:46 pm

“Hi baby, how was your day?”

You felt a pang in your chest once you heard your fiancé’s voice. He was in the kitchen as usual, drinking his favorite homemade coffee as he watched kdramas on his phone, even if you have a fully functioning large tv in the living area.

“It was alright,” an outright lie.

Work was shit. Co-workers were shit. But even if everything in your work life is slowly coming into flames and you have no choice but to face some of the shittiest people ever as your clients, you can’t believe that the shittiest out of all of them was still you.

Seungmin seemed suspicious of how you answered, probably sensing that you were lying right through your teeth. How he knows you like the back of his hand was absolutely endearing. But sometimes, all it felt like were a ton of bricks on your back.

“You sure about that, babe?” He asked, starting to put down his phone on the table. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You hate him.

You hate how so damn perfect he is. You hate how much he loves you.

But you hate yourself more for not loving him the same way.

5:15 pm that day

“You should have told them that it wasn’t possible then?”

“It was possible, but not with the time frame they gave me!” You exclaimed exhaustively as you crashed on the couch. You pulled Minho’s button down tightly around your body, finding comfort in his scent.

“And don’t you dare tell me that I should have told them too because you, of all people, know how much I need this deal closed.”

Minho scoffed, “Shouldn’t your fiancé know about this too?”

You abruptly fixed how you sat on Minho’s couch, pushing a hand through your bed-ruined hair. Seungmin knows about the deal you have been trying to secure for almost six months now, but he doesn’t know as much as Minho does.

And that’s on you.

“Please, he also knows about this,” you were defensive, holding up your arms to your chest as you tried not to overthink.

“Then you wouldn’t be here ranting about it again for probably the third time this week alone,” he petted Soonie on his lap as he gulped the rest of his beer. His eyes never landed on yours as he talked about your fiancé.

“He’s a lawyer, for god’s sake. He would have probably closed this deal of yours months ago.”

Minho was right. He always was. Even if he was one of the most outstanding chief marketing officers out there, you sure as hell needed a good lawyer to back you too. But your fucking pride and independent mentality are in the way. You knew Seungmin could have helped you ever since you talked about the terms and conditions of the contract. You knew that Seungmin could have easily discussed how you could have agreed with better terms. You knew that Seungmin could have lessened the stress that you were going through now. But you didn’t even share a peep with him, only the tip of the iceberg.

“You know me and my tendencies to not ask for help.”

“Yeah, I know,” he grimaced. “But I can’t help but think you have a different purpose; why you didn’t ask your Seungmin to rescue you.”

He sounded cocky and bitter, but you pushed that thought to the back of your mind. You didn’t ask your oh-so-perfect fiancé because you didn’t want to seem like a damsel in distress. You didn’t want to look like you were using his career to boost yours. This was your work, your business, so why the hell would you cry out to be saved?

“Care to enlighten me?” You poked, knowing damn well that Minho wouldn’t dare explain his thoughts.

“You did it to have reason to be constantly here, using my job as a cover-up, and not make it look like you’re cheating on your soon-to-be husband.”

december 2022

“Don’t be stupid,” Chan throws you a judging stare. “And don’t you dare look at me like that because I know you came to me for a reality check and not some advice you want to hear.”

You kept your mouth shut. Thinking about leaving your perfectly good boyfriend to get back with a borderline-toxic ex might be one of your stupidest thoughts to date. Chan, being one of your closest friends for the longest time, is verbalizing it because you can never admit it to yourself.

He sighed, plopping down beside you as he handed you the beer you requested. “Cheers,” he mumbled, raising his bottle of energy drink.

“It’s stupid, no?” You groaned. “Even the thought of it is stupid.”

“Yes, it is, and I’m glad to know that you actually recognize that.”

“But—”

“But, what?” He immediately cut you off, probably knowing what you’ll say next. “It doesn’t feel the same way with Seungmin? There’s no thrill? There’s no rush?”

Shame. You were the one who would judge people for leaving their partners just for a speck of thrill before. And now you’re the one being judged. You can’t lie to yourself because you know for a fact that you deserve it.

“People would kill to be in a relationship you’re currently in, y/n. That peace you’re feeling with Seungmin? Some people crave that because they know that ‘peace’ in a relationship is what you call home. It makes them realize they’re finally with the one they’re meant for.”

But it doesn’t feel that way with Seungmin.

It was smooth sailing with Seungmin. It was actually a breeze with him—safe. He treated you like royalty. You don’t even want to think about how he looks at you because you would feel guilty even contemplating leaving him. He would hold you in his eyes like you had the entire universe. And in his world, maybe you did.

“Look,” Chan cleared his throat. “I am in no place to say this, but you need to hear it.”

You took a gulp of your beer before looking at him, prepared to hear the most heart-wrenching speech that would finally wake you up to reality and stop with your fantasy land.

But the words that came out of Chan’s mouth were something you would have never expected. Not at least for another two or three years.

“What do you mean he’s going to propose?” You gasped. It wasn’t impossible, considering the two of you have been dating for at least three years. The both of you had a stable job, your family adores him, and you’re both living together… it made sense. It would be more unusual if he wasn’t thinking about it. But to you, it felt too soon, like you were rushing into it.

“I’m not that kind of person who wants to put words in other people’s mouths, but just hear me out, okay?” he squeezed his hand on top of yours.

“Say yes. Accept it. Nothing gets better after Kim Seungmin. Trust me. Minho gave you nothing but heartbreak.”

7:58 pm

“No, baby, it’s okay, really. I’m just tired from work,” you said, kissing Seungmin on the cheek.

He sighed as he got a whiff of Minho’s perfume off of his fiancée. He wasn’t sure how many times he got to smell it that week, but he stopped counting right after knowing that this would be a regular thing for you.

You were being distant again. You always were right after being with Minho. Even if you try your best to hide that you were with him that day, a scent always lingers. Seungmin honestly doesn’t know if you were sleeping with your ex or doing anything physical with him; the fact that you would rather be with someone else hurts the same way.

Seungmin tried. He really did. But it seems like he was never really enough for you. Seungmin wasn’t dumb. He knows you were still madly in love with your ex-boyfriend even after you said yes to his proposal. He knew what he was getting into when he first started dating you, but he thought that over time, he could finally replace Minho in your heart. So maybe he is a little stupid, thinking you could get over the love of your life.

“Do you want me to run you a bath, babe?” Seungmin asked as he entered the bedroom. You were a little startled because you were in the middle of changing, but you immediately settled down when you turned to see him.

“Thanks, baby, but I’ll just cha—”

Seungmin interrupted you with kisses trailing down your neck from behind. His hands swiftly made their way to your bare waist as he gently pulled your back to him. He made sure that you felt the growing bulge from his pants.

He wanted to see if some part of you still belonged to him.

A soft moan escaped your lips, but you held Seungmin on the nape, making him halt his ministrations to your skin. “I’m not in much of a mood today, Seung.” You whispered apologetically.

That felt like a gunshot to Seungmin’s chest. He rested his head on your shoulder in defeat.

“We haven’t had sex in almost a month, y/n,” He breathed, honestly ready to raise a white flag. The way he said your name was so full of emotion and pent-up exhaustion.

He wasn’t trying to force you to do anything with him. He wasn’t some sex-deprived maniac. He can keep his dick in his pants. He doesn’t even mind if you both don’t fuck for more than a month. What worries him is that you don’t want to do it with him. This was one of the things that Seungmin was holding on to, one of the things to see if you were still even slightly attracted to him, whether it may be purely physical, he’d accept it.

It was a desperate move. But Seungmin was desperate.

You stiffened in his hold after you heard him. Twisting in his linked arms, you circled your own on his neck. “Has it really been that long?”

Seungmin didn’t even try to look at you, his eyes locked on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Seung,” you rested your palm on his cheek, turning his head in your direction, getting him to look at you. “I’ve just been so busy with the deal.” You sounded so guilty, and of course, as always, Seungmin ate it up. He always drops down his walls whenever he feels even an ounce of love from you.

“Let me make it up to you,” you started to go down to your knees, but Seungmin immediately pulled you up.

“Baby, you don’t have to do that,” he said, holding onto your arms.

“But I want to,” you dragged, starting to pepper his face with kisses.

And that was it. Seungmin folded. You have him wrapped around your fingers once again. At least he knows he was not entirely out of the picture yet.

“If you want to make it up to me, let’s do it properly,” Seungmin grumbled before kissing you fervently. He tried to kiss you with so much passion; maybe there, he could make you feel all the raw love he has for you.

Even if you don’t feel the same way.

He laid you gently on your bed, a soft moan escaping your lips when his knees came in contact with your center. Seungmin did it again and applied some pressure, making you squirm under him.

“Seung,” you moaned out, hands lifting his shirt. Your hand ran through the expanse of his torso as Seungmin shivered lightly with the way you traced his toned stomach.

He made his way down to your legs, two of his fingers tracing your clothed, wet core. He placed kisses on the inside of your thighs before pushing your underwear to the side. He tentatively placed his tongue on your clit, and you covered your mouth to stop yourself from letting out a loud groan.

He ran a stripe of his tongue on your sex, making you hold onto his hair with greater force than you intended. Seungmin felt his pants restrict even more with every sound you make, with every pull of his hair that you do. But even if he started to feel uncomfortable with how his cock went hard, he continued to lap you, making sure that no one else would make you feel the way he was making you feel right now.

“Fuck, Seungmin!” You let out, not stopping yourself anymore.

With the scream that left your lips, Seungmin couldn’t help himself. He took out his cock from his pants and pumped himself off as he continued to push his tongue in you, his other hand circling your clit.

“Yes, baby. Don’t stop. That’s so hot,” you were panting, feeling your release coming to a close when you saw Seungmin getting himself off with his hand while he ate you out.

When you started to feel the buildup in your lower stomach, Seungmin stopped altogether. You almost complained before you felt him enter you with no warning. He bottomed out immediately with how wet you were. You could instantly feel his cock in parts of you that only felt like heaven.

Seungmin tried to muffle his groan by kissing your chest, but his voice still resonated. He undid your bra quickly as he started to thrust into you. He palmed your breast, the other being sucked into his mouth while he slammed his hips into you.

“Oh my fucking god, Seungmin!” You practically screamed.

His hands on your tits were now placed around your neck, adding a little pleasure you always liked.

“You’re mine, right?” Seungmin suddenly asked.

“Yes.”

“Say it.”

You can feel your release starting to build up again on your lower stomach as you continue to take your fiancé’s cock in you. He was hitting all the right spots, and you were starting to see stars.

“Say it!” Seungmin demanded again.

“I’m yours, Seungmin!” He felt you come around him, your constraining walls feeling perfectly around his throbbing dick, your moans filling the bedroom.

“You’re mine,” he mumbled, his thrusts starting to feel erratic as he came too close to release. “I’m the only one who gets to come inside you.”

Seungmin was surprised by the words that left his mouth. He was never this possessive. Not even during sex. But maybe all the feelings that he’s been trying to bottle up were slowly spilling.

“I’m yours, Seung.” You whispered again before feeling Seungmin shoot his hot cum around your walls.

1:43 am

“Do you hate me that much to call me at this hour? Are you for real right now?” Minho grumbled from the other end.

“Then why did you answer, you dipshit?”

“Because I have no self-control when it comes to you.”

A silence enveloped the two of you. All you could hear was rustling and maybe one of the cats trying to lay beside Minho in bed.

You snuck outside your bedroom just to go out the balcony so you could call him in peace, ensuring that Seungmin was sleeping soundly in bed. After what happened with Seungmin earlier, it made you wonder if you were really not paying that much attention to him anymore. He rarely showed that vulnerable side of himself to you because he was always so composed and put together. Seeing him somewhat defeated earlier made your chest hurt.

You admit you’re unfaithful, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love him even, if that sounds so messed up.

“C’mon, what do you want? I have to leave early for work later, and Doongie is getting real chatty.”

You chuckled after hearing the constant meowing from the background; Doongie was probably grumpy that you woke him up too.

“It’s nothing. I just…” You sighed, not even remembering why you called Minho. Now you have to think of something important because he would probably not let you hear the end of it the next time you see him. If there is a next time, at least.

Thoughts started to leave your mind as your heart calmed at just hearing the sound of Minho’s breathing. No matter what others say about him or what he did to you when you were together, nothing would amount to how he makes you feel. Who would have thought that breathing through a call would calm you down? He didn’t even need to say anything.

“If I… if I break it off with Seungmin… Would you take me back?”

The question suddenly came out of you. It wasn’t even what you were planning to say. But the long pause that Minho gave as a response was already an answer.

When you were about to say you would hang up, Minho cleared his throat.

“Would you leave Seungmin?”

one week later 7:50 pm

“Aren’t you supposed to be rich?”

You scoffed at Minho’s snarky comment, but you continued to stir the pot in front of you.

After the little call that you made with Minho last week, it really shook something inside you. But you, being the coward that you are, ignored it. You promised yourself that you would start coming to Minho for business-related purposes only. Still, here you are again, cooking a meal for the both of you instead of doing it for your boyfriend.

“You probably have a personal chef at your beck and call in your huge penthouse, so why the hell would you ransack my barely stocked cupboard and refrigerator for food? You do know that I have three cats to feed, right?”

“Shut up, that’s nonsense.”

“How dare you call my cats nonsense? Look at those little devils enjoying their playground that’s worth at least a month of my sala—”

“Idiot!” you playfully hit Minho’s arm after he misunderstood what you said. “I was talking about having a personal chef; that was nonsense. I’m not rich.”

“Yeah, say all you want. But your fiancé is probably swimming in money.”

There he goes again. You sighed, turned off the stove, and removed your apron as you entered his living room.

Minho has been quite vocal about you being with Seungmin lately. It was like an unspoken rule between the both of you to rarely talk about him when you two were together. Seungmin doesn’t exist when it’s just the two of you. But recently, he keeps pointing out how you were with someone else.

You heard his footsteps follow you to the sofa, but you didn’t even want to look at him. He called out your name, but you didn’t respond. When his voice went stern, you finally glanced in his direction. He stood a few feet away from you, hands bawled into fists.

“Leave him,” Minho’s voice was barely above a whisper, but you heard him clearly. So loud that you felt like it echoed throughout the whole apartment.

“What?” You feel breathless, feeling like you were underwater; your body suddenly doesn’t want to move to gasp for air.

“Be with me.”

Minho was determined. He was finally tired of hiding. He was tired of pretending he was okay when you didn’t stay the night or hurry home before the two of you get caught. He was so sick of trying to meet you in secret or only seeing you when there was no sun outside.

He wanted to hold your hand, grab you by the waist, kiss you on your forehead. He wanted all those things back. He loved you and wanted everyone to know how much he did. He may have fucked up before, but he swore he would do better when you decide to be with him instead.

He was sick of all the sneaking around and all the lies he needed to remember. He doesn’t think he has the stomach to hold it all together much longer.

“Choose me.”

Tears were pricking your eyes, and your vision blurred with the image of Minho waiting for your answer. All you could do was open your mouth, but no words came out. You weren’t sure of the answer the day he asked if you would leave Seungmin for him. You thought that some part of you could do it and finally be with Minho. He was your greatest love and you thought you could drop everything just to be with him. But right now, with Minho almost begging you to be with him, leaving Seungmin suddenly became a clear-cut picture in your head.

You couldn’t do it.

Seungmin was too perfect. His love for you was so pure. You know that you can never return the amount of love he has for you, but you know for sure that you love him enough to stay.

And you don’t love Minho enough to choose him.

“I—”

A single tear fell from Minho’s eye. He knows.

“No, don’t,” he sighed. “you don’t need to say it. He’s good for you.”

8:06 pm

The silence between you and Minho was ear-piercing. Even after deciding that you’re not leaving your boyfriend over him, you can’t believe he still has the heart to lead you outside his apartment and volunteer to take you to your car because of how dark the streets get.

It would have been pitch dark outside if not for the dimly lit street lights and the flashlight on Minho’s phone guiding your steps on the pavement as you looked for your car. You were so used to leaving Minho’s apartment at this time that the darkness didn’t even bother you anymore.

Not until a voice so familiar called out your name from a distance.

“What’s this?”

Your heart dropped to your feet.

“Seungmin—”

“Is that Minho with you?”

Minho was suddenly in front of you, his body covering yours as Seungmin stepped closer to the both of you.

“What the hell are you doing with my fiancée?” Seungmin’s voice was raised, a voice you had never come out from him through all the years that you were together. He doesn’t look like himself. His eyes were blazing with mixed feelings, anger, hurt, betrayal, and it was all because of you.

You pushed Minho away from in front of you and ran towards Seungmin, tears overflowing in your eyes as you tried to reach for your boyfriend’s hand.

“Seungmin, I can explain, I promise!” You sounded hysterical, trying to get a hold of Seungmin, but his eyes were zeroed in on the man behind you.

“Seungmin!” Grabbing his face in your hands, you tried to get him to look at you instead. “Listen to me. This isn’t his fault. It’s me, all me, okay?”

“No,” He removed your hold from him, the voice he let out seeming like broken glass but unwavering. “You listen to me.”

A strained whimper came out from your lips, not knowing what to do. It felt like your whole world was falling apart slowly and painfully right in front of your eyes with every tear that fell from Seungmin’s eyes.

It was you who did this.

“You know what? All this time that you’ve been sneaking around with him,” there was so much venom in the way he spoke as he pointed at Minho, but he remained quiet and still, letting all the anger fall on him.

“I know about it. I’m not naive! But I told myself that one day, one day, you’re gonna stop,” Seungmin tried his best to hold in his sob, but it was too much for him. “One day, you’ll finally feel that you belong with me.”

He tried his best to remember all the times he did you wrong. He tried to think if everything he did was too big of a mistake that you have the need to cheat on him. Did he not treat you right? What was missing from him that you found in Minho instead?

He ran a hand through his hair, furiously wiping the salty tears that kept falling. “Every fucking time I smell his perfume off of you, I told myself that I would turn a blind eye to it as long as you don’t get yourself caught. As long as I’m the one you come home to.”

The pain you were feeling right now would never amount to the pain that Seungmin was feeling. All the time he kept it all in, it finally pierced through his chest, that it felt like he was physically bleeding from the pain.

“Do I love you too much to do that?”

You sob, unable to bear how much hurt you’re putting him through right now. You tried reaching for him again, but he immediately stepped away. He looked at you like he saw a completely different person was before him, not someone he asked to marry.

“Seungmin, please. I stopped. I promise I did. I already cut things off with him to stay with you,” at that point, you didn’t care. What you said was so wretched and cruel for both of the people there with you, but you couldn’t possibly see your future without Seungmin. It was too late for you to realize that, but you’re taking all your chances here just to be able to stay with him.

He scoffed. He couldn’t honestly believe that you thought you would win him back with that. “Is that supposed to make me happy? Is that supposed to redeem yourself?” He questioned incredulously. “Do you think that you finally leaving Minho after all these months, I would forgive you?”

Minho remained quiet behind you. He just stood there, taking all of it in. He deserved it. In fact, he thought he deserved more than the words coming out of Seungmin. He probably deserved a hit in the face or a few curses and vile words from your fiancé, but Seungmin wasn’t like that. That’s how nice he was; he wouldn’t even curse the man you had illicit affairs with.

While you, on the other hand, can’t do anything but cry. It was pathetic of you, but you know there was no escape from this. This was the end of the line, and you knew there was no one to blame except you and your selfishness.

Seungmin covered his tear-stricken face as he let out a choked laugh, “It’s fucking bullshit that I still don’t hate you after all of this.”

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use-your-telescope · 5 months

Text

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 7: You Resist Me Just Like This

Summary: Loki convinces Theo to spend time with him, and Theo reconnects with an old friend.

Author's Notes: Hey, look, Loki & Theo interactions! More of these to come in the very near future. And now y’all get to meet one of my favorite original side characters, Julie.

Reminder - this song is a continuation from the last chapter!

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: Medical Stuff (Theo’s a doctor, so there’s a lot of that in this story, generally speaking), blood (not really graphic but again, working in an Emergency department, there is some blood…), mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 6,530

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Careful - Paramore

Open your eyes like I opened mine It's only the real world A life you will never know Shifting your weight to throw off the pain Well, you can ignore it But only for so long

Of every change that came with joining the Avengers, there was one that Theo actually enjoyed: working in their private hospital.

One of her conditions of helping the Avengers was that she could continue working in emergency medicine as an attending physician. If she was going to put herself in a position where she’d be killing, the least she could do is help train others to heal - the method by which they healed was unimportant, as long as it helped offset the death. She wanted to stay at New York Presbyterian, but Fury insisted she stay close by in case she was needed at the tower.

Working as an attending at the hospital in the Avengers Tower was their compromise.

There were some upsides to the deal. The short commute, for one. Instead of a subway ride, she hopped in an elevator and was at her workplace in two minutes, max.

The second was a surprise reunion with Dr. Julie Harper, who Theo hadn’t seen since they completed their residencies together at Los Angeles County General Hospital. Julie was a year ahead of Theo in medical school, and though Theo knew Julie ended up somewhere on the east coast, she hadn’t realized that they were both in the same city this whole time.

And now, they were paired up and turned loose on some residents of their own.

“Oh look, fresh meat.”

Met by the collective wide-eyed stares of their newest residents, Theo had to bite her tongue so she didn’t crack up at the terror on their faces, or when Julie - known to the residents as Dr. Harper - rolled her eyes.

“Settle down, I’m joking.” Theo dropped the stern face for a wide grin, letting out a chuckle. “Welcome to the Emergency department, also known as where medicine is practiced in its most pure form. I’m Dr. Theo Amaris, and I see you’ve already met my colleague, Dr. Julie Harper. Along with Dr. Helen Cho, we are three of your attending physicians.”

“This is a sacred place, where we see patients in some of the worst moments of their lives and give them hope - we give them a second chance.” Julie said, gesturing around the room. “We serve anyone and everyone who comes through our doors. We give every patient our best. We do not care about where your degrees are from or your MLE scores; the fact that you are here means you are qualified. What we care about is the commitment, the compassion, and the fight you bring to caring for patients. We can teach you how to triage, how to perform procedures, and how to document everything - what we can’t teach you is the dedication and the empathy needed to truly serve our patients when they need it most.”

Ultimately, that commitment to serving patients when they needed it most was why Theo chose Emergency Medicine. Always in the thick of things, not relying on referrals and scheduling and the restrictions that encumbered most specialties within medicine. No matter who walked through the door, Theo was empowered to help them. It didn’t matter whether they were rich or poor, young or old, or how mild or severe their malady was, she could care for them.

Granted, working in the hospital at Avengers Tower was a far cry from her experience at New York Presbyterian. Instead of her most severe cases being heart attacks, drug overdoses, and car accidents, Theo treated gunshot wounds, poisonings, major burns from explosions, and severe trauma from combat.

Dull moments did not exist in an emergency department that specialized in treating SHIELD agents, which elicited both gratitude and concern from Theo; sure, it made the time pass quickly, but she couldn’t help but worry for the agents’ loved ones, particularly when an agent came in whose condition was particularly delicate.

At least in the emergency department, she knew how everything worked. Even if she never knew what to expect when a patient came in, she knew the processes and the steps to treat them. Everything had a rationale behind it - she could weigh the pros and cons of every potential treatment without having to constantly factor in the unknown. Out in the field? She had no idea of what to expect or how to plan for it.

Julie hardly finished her welcome speech when the calls came in to prepare for an influx of injured agents returning from across the globe. From there, the constant onslaught of injured agents created a relentless pace to the day, requiring all hands on deck as they triaged and treated, stitched and bandaged, resuscitated and revived; trauma bays emptied barely long enough to be restocked and cleaned before the beds filled with new patients.

Minutes before the end of the shift, another mission came back with multiple agents severely injured. Thanks to some careful planning, the residents could leave after their respective patients were stabilized and sent off for surgery or admission to a ward, but the patient Theo and Julie assigned themselves kept the pair two hours late. For Theo, it served as a cherry on top to the end of a streak of back to back shifts that left Theo dreaming of a long, hot soak and a week where she didn’t have to leave her bed.

In the grand scheme of things, rest and relaxation could wait - saving someone’s life always took priority.

While Julie went with the others to wheel the patient to an operating room, Theo hung back, absorbing the aftermath. Crimson coated every surface - the gurney, the backboard the patient was brought in on, all over the floor, the surgical gown she wore over her scrubs. Wrappers for bandages and sutures littered the floor, as did towels that were used to soak up extra blood. Tables with supplies haphazardly pushed aside decorated the edges of the room, some of the supplies knocked to the floor amidst organized chaos.

Letting out a weary sigh, Theo began the process of removing the protective equipment. First, she peeled off the gloves and surgical gown, bundling them up before she disposed of them in a biohazard bag. The face shield and mask followed, finding their final resting place in the same biohazard bag. With one last, lingering glance at the room, Theo said a little prayer for the patient, then departed.

Only charting stood between Theo and her weekend. Charting, in Theo’s opinion, was an essential nuisance - documenting diagnoses and treatments administered ensured a smooth transition and continuation of care, but anything involving paperwork may have come from one of the circles of hell. Once she reached the desk, Theo’s focus on finding the files she needed and dreaming about what she was going to watch on netflix left her oblivious to the presence lurking nearby.

“I’ve seen battlefields less bloody than the room you emerged from.”

“Jesus!” Theo practically jumped out of her scrubs as her head snapped towards the voice.

Loki stood before her, a travel mug in one outstretched hand. A wide grin dangled from his lips, sparks of green alight in his eyes.

“Don’t scare me like that!” Stuttering heartbeats pulsed beneath Theo’s hand as she clutched her chest, gasping for breath.

“Apologies – it was not my intent to startle you,” Loki said, though the quiet pride on his face said otherwise. “I brought you a coffee; I thought you might appreciate the caffeine after a busy day.”

A hundred snarky retorts sprung to Theo’s tongue, but she stopped herself before one could escape. As much as she wanted to wipe the smug look of amusement off Loki’s face, she was grateful for the drink.

And besides, it wouldn’t do her any good to piss off the one person among the Avengers who didn’t look at her like a mission or a freak.

“Thanks.” Theo took the mug from Loki, their fingers brushing for just a moment in the process. She took a sip, letting the bitter liquid coat her tongue while she gave Loki a once-over. Between the charcoal sweater and black, slim-fit pants, he looked like he came from a day of meetings, not from the gym or from the field, so he probably wasn’t injured… “Uh, how long have you been here?”

“Well, I stopped by when you were meant to be finished for the day, but you were occupied. Based on the flurry of activity, I suspected you would be occupied for some time. It seems I was correct…” Loki explained, studying the room Theo had emerged from with a furrowed brow. “There’s quite a bit of blood.”

Theo almost spit out her coffee at what was a massive understatement.

“Yeah, it was a challenging one…” Theo agreed with a slow nod. “Agent should be alright, though.”

“I thought you were known for your healing abilities–” Loki’s brow crinkled as his focus darted back and forth between Theo and the trauma bay. “ —Is there a reason you did not use them?”

“Bold of you to assume I didn’t,” Theo pointed out, to which Loki faltered. Allowing a small, self-satisfied smirk to creep over her face, she didn’t make Loki wait long before adding: “They came in with other injuries that standard medicine wouldn’t have been able to treat in time, so I used my abilities on those, while the others stopped the bleeding. If I hadn’t, there was no way that person would have any chance of making it.”

“I see.” Loki’s response felt measured at best; Theo got the sense he was trying to suss out the extent of her healing abilities, but she wasn’t exactly interested in that conversation.

“So… what brings you in?” Theo badged into the computer and pulled up the first of the patient records she needed to update. “You don’t look like you’re injured, and last I checked most people avoid this place if they aren’t injured or dying.”

At that, Loki laughed. “You are correct; I have no afflictions which need tending to. I simply wished to see you.”

Theo nearly choked on her coffee - of all the answers in mind, “simply wished to see you” hadn’t even made it onto the list.

Sure, they were amiable towards each other, but “simply wished to see you” seemed a bit… much.

“You wanted to see me?” Theo tried to hide her surprise when she glanced up from the computer screen and caught Loki observing her with a devastatingly sly smile.

“Is that not what I just said?” Loki countered, his smile widening.

“You wanted to see me so badly that you ventured down here?” Theo expanded, allowing a smirk of her own to reveal itself. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Do I need to go get Dr. Cho and have her check you over, just to be safe?”

“Quite certain.” He winked, leaning against the edge of the work station. “You’re difficult to locate, so I surmised that my odds of finding you were highest if I sought you out at your workplace.”

Of course - he noticed Theo’s habit of avoiding the larger group, and strategized accordingly.

He must not have spoken to Wanda about how cornering Theo went when Wanda tried it, if he thought coming down here would work. Then again, maybe that was a good thing - maybe he wasn't on the “force Theo to talk to us” mission that everyone else seemed to be a part of.

“I had been under the impression that after your last patient you would be finished for the evening,” Loki continued, oblivious to Theo’s ruminations, “but that does not seem to be the case…”

“No, I have to finish my charting before I can go - it’s essentially updating patient records,” Theo replied, fingers clicking away on the keyboard as she typed. “I have one left, then I can head out.”

“Is this what keeps you late each day?” It could have sounded like a complaint, but the question came off as one of curiosity. “Record-keeping?”

“I didn’t realize you kept track of when I left work each day.” Theo pointed out, clicking into her last patient’s records so she could make sure they were updated. “To answer your question, it depends. Some days I’ll stick around and help the others get caught up. Some days, like today, I end up with a patient that needs all hands on deck, and that pushes everything else back. I don’t mind staying, though.”

“Surely, record keeping can wait?”

“No, because whoever takes over when I leave needs to know what has been done and what the plan is. Otherwise they might double up on a drug or miss something that could kill the patient. In case you haven’t noticed, us earthly mortals aren’t exactly psychic or able to predict shit.” Theo glanced up at Loki and winked, hoping he picked up on her sarcasm.

He was supposed to be the clever one, right?

Loki let out something like a hum, but remained quiet. As pleasantly surprising as it was for him to stop in and say hello, Theo couldn’t help but appreciate the silence as she finished her work. After such a hectic day, focusing on one thing at a time was a luxury.

Once everything was documented and ready to go, Theo signed out of the computer, clocked out, and rose to her feet. “Alright, I’m all done.”

“Wonderful.” Loki strolled alongside as Theo made her way to the elevator. “Do you have plans for the evening?”

The dreams of a hot bath, binging something on netflix, and sleeping for like, three days straight sprung to mind.

“No, can’t say I do.” Theo shrugged, pressing the call button for the elevator. “All I know is after five shifts back to back, I’m ready to get out of these scrubs, kick back, and relax for a bit.”

Not a direct attempt to give herself an out from the conversation, but hopefully Loki would get the hint and let her enjoy a quiet evening.

“You have been working quite often as of late,” Loki agreed, gesturing for Theo to enter the open elevator first, then following behind. Once he pressed the button for their floor, he spoke up. “Have you eaten? I’m certain after a long day you must be famished.”

Theo bristled at the question, but she covered her discomfort with a cordial smile.

“Actually, I’m alright - I was lucky enough to sit down and eat a sandwich before my last patient,” she lied, “but if you’re hungry you should definitely eat something!”

“Oh, I’m quite alright,” Loki replied, shaking his head. “I ate with the others.”

An awkward silence fell between the pair as the elevator worked its way up to the residential portion of the tower. Theo’s skin tingled as she felt Loki’s eyes on her. Despite the short distance traveled, the time needed to get back to her suite stretched far longer than it should have. She finished the last of the coffee Loki had brought her, then began fiddling with the cup.

“I was hoping I might request the pleasure of your company this evening,” from the corner of Theo’s eye, she could see Loki run a hand through his hair as he spoke. “I recognize you are wary of us, but you’ve rather piqued my curiosity. I wish to get to know you.”

Theo furrowed her brow as she studied Loki, trying to get a sense of his honesty. His body language seemed genuine enough; he stood with open posture, hands loosely in his pockets as he regarded her, and the hope in his eyes certainly appeared innocent.

Then again, he was the god of lies…

“What do you mean by pleasure of your company?” The elevator arrived at their floor; Theo stepped out first, with Loki close behind.

“I simply wish to spend time with you; I have no preference for what we do during that time together. If there is something you would prefer to do, I’m happy to oblige.”

That didn’t make Theo feel better - she’d gotten the impression that Loki was the kind of person who did what he wanted, when he wanted, and rarely made concessions for others. This seemed… too friendly.

Still, curiosity burned within Theo at what would happen if she agreed, and the possibility seemed much more alluring than another night alone.

“Sure, just let me change out of my scrubs.” Theo finally agreed. If things got weird, she could always leave. “I’ll take a whiskey, neat. Highest proof Stark’s got.”

The request served two purposes: first, it meant Loki wouldn’t be lurking outside her door for long, potentially alerting the others to their rendez-vous. Second, Theo wouldn’t have to get herself a drink later on.

“As you wish.” A lopsided grin spread wide on Loki’s face, soft green eyes sparkling with delight. “How would you like to spend the evening?”

“I imagine you know all the cool secret spots in the tower, so if you meet me here, maybe you can show me one?” Theo winked.

“That seems to be a reasonable request.” Loki smirked. The pair arrived at the entrance to Theo’s suite, both stopping outside the door. “I shall return momentarily with your requested beverage.”

Once Loki disappeared, Theo slipped into her suite. Peeling the scrubs off her body, she wasted no time changing into casual clothes - not the leggings and sweatshirt she initially imagined, but jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel shirt tossed on top to ward off any chill. Glancing in the mirror, Theo took a moment to splash some water on her face and re-do her braid, hoping it might make her appear a bit more lively; after having to use her magic to revive the last patient, she knew she was looking a bit worse for wear…

… But Loki didn’t need to know about that.

Theo emerged from her suite to find Loki, leaned up against the wall with two glasses of amber liquid.

“Thanks,” Theo accepted the glass Loki extended to her, then gestured for Loki to lead the way. “What secret destination are we off to?”

“You’ve been to Stark’s engineering labs,” Loki stated, briefly glancing back at Theo, “But have you visited the research library?”

“Research library?” Well, that certainly intrigued Theo.

“It seems that you have not.” Loki’s lip quirked into a smirk as his eyes lit up. “Well, allow me to introduce you to a hidden gem of Avengers Tower.”

After taking the elevator down to Tony’s lab, Loki breezed through the lab as though he owned the place. Despite the late hour, a few people remained at their workstations, tinkering with all sorts of mechanical contraptions. Somehow, no one paid the pair of sorcerers any mind. Reaching the back corner, Loki tapped on a wall panel to reveal a doorknob; with a flick of his wrist, the door opened. Loki stepped aside, allowing Theo first access to the room.

Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

The room itself was massive - massive - if Theo hadn’t just walked in from another room on the same floor, she would have been convinced that the library took up an entire floor of the tower. The ceiling was easily two stories up, and lined floor to ceiling with books; steel rolling ladders lined the room to provide access to the upper shelves. Shelves full of books filled the floor as well, creating aisles to walk down and browse for literature. The center of the room had a variety of tables, lamps, screens, and chairs for people to set up and work.

Even as a library, it screamed Tony Stark’s design preferences - clean lines, minimalist styling, bright lighting, no shortage of glass or stainless steel details incorporated at every opportunity.

“Impressive, is it not?”

Theo whipped around to face Loki, who openly wore his amusement at Theo’s reaction across his face.

“That might be an understatement…” Theo conceded, ignoring the rush of heat to her cheeks as she sipped her whiskey. “And why is this place kept a secret?”

“It is home to quite a bit of, shall we say, sensitive information.” Loki answered, leading her through rows of bookshelves. Tomes in every language known to man, and even some that probably weren’t known, caught Theo’s attention as they ventured deeper into the library.

The nonchalant nature of Loki’s response intrigued Theo - what kind of sensitive information was he talking about? Government secrets? Scientific innovations? International cover-ups? Medical research?

Probably all of the above.

Theo made a note to come back at a later date, when she could explore without a second pair of eyes on her. Or at least when she was ready to study for the extra certifications Julie recommended the other day.

The winding path through towering shelves eventually led to a clearing of sorts, with seating areas of sleek leather sofas and chairs clustered together and glass tables surrounded by high-back, leather chairs.

“So you don’t know that much about me, but your first thought is to bring me to a secret library full of sensitive information,” Theo strolled towards the center of the room, still soaking in her new surroundings. “Is this a litmus test?”

“Should it be?” Loki countered, though the relaxed shoulders and way he leaned against the back of a sofa only amplified his knowing smirk, almost as if he wanted to say “I don’t think you’ll try anything stupid, but if you did I might find it funny.”

“I don’t know - if they have the exam answers for the two certifications I want to start on, it might become one,” Theo joked.

At that, Loki perked up. “You’re studying for certifications? Of what sort?”

She probably should have known he would find a way to ask more about her - after all, she hadn’t exactly made a point to share anything other than random anecdotes during their previous encounters.

Certifications were a safe topic, though, so she obliged.

“Yeah - there are certain sub-specialties in medicine that would be helpful to know while working in what’s essentially a combat hospital.” Theo shrugged, taking a seat in one of the armchairs. “Med school doesn’t teach us everything, so I may as well do what I can to stay on top of things. Certifications help with that.”

“Why wouldn’t you have learned about such topics?”

From what Theo could tell, it was a genuine question, and it made sense for him to ask - after all, medicine was very different in other places. Theo had heard bits and pieces of what Asgardian medicine was like, before Ragnarok, and it was nothing like what medicine on Earth was like.

Then again, medicine on Earth was nothing like medicine on Aneterra, at least from what Mémère had told her.

“Medicine is a broad topic, and Emergency Medicine is a relatively new specialty.” She replied, pausing to take a long swig of whiskey. “Besides, appendicitis is totally different from a blast injury, but both are very real emergencies. Most of what I’ve been doing has been normal-people emergencies, not superhero emergencies.”

“Different enough that you’re concerned about whether you would pass an exam for treating the sorts of injuries you might find here?” Loki probed, arching a skeptical eyebrow at Theo.

Great, that’s just what she needed - Loki thinking Theo wasn’t a good doctor.

“I don’t know, it depends on what’s in the exam…” Theo dropped her gaze to the floor, cheeks burning like the whiskey she sipped on. “It’s really just meant to build on skills I already have. I’ve got the core skills, it just takes them a step further.”

“You have incredibly powerful magic, which could be used for any number of things; however, you focus on healing, and rather than rely on magic you also take the time to learn Midgardian medicine.” Loki mused, pausing to take a drink of his own beverage. “There must be some benefit to you, otherwise you would not spend so much time learning medicine that would otherwise serve no purpose. What is your rationale?”

Well, that was a doozy of a question if Theo ever heard one.

Gathering her thoughts, Theo took yet another sip of her whiskey, allowing the smokey liquid to linger on her tongue as she debated how to best answer the question.

“I like to have a variety of options at my disposal, I suppose.” She took another drink, then swirled the amber liquid around in her glass so she had something to look at. “Magic isn’t all it is made out to be, and I don’t want to be in a situation where I can’t save someone because I couldn’t access my magic.”

Other than a rather guarded hum, Loki said nothing.

“Look, I know it sounds weird,” Theo sighed, “But if someone’s life is on the line, I don’t care what I have to do to save them - whether it’s magic or not - I care that they live. There is no place for pride in medicine.”

A silence fell between the pair. When Theo looked up from her glass, she met Loki’s exacting stare. The subtle movements as he studied her, lips pressed into a thin line, made Theo wonder just what occupied his mind - given his reactions up to that point, maybe he didn’t believe her.

“You’re the god of lies, you should know I’m not lying.” Theo finally challenged, arching an eyebrow of her own at Loki.

“I realize you are not lying,” he conceded, though it did nothing to ease the intensity of how he regarded her, “I simply find you rather… Perplexing.”

“Weird.” Theo corrected him with a small, amused smile. “You find me weird.”

“You aren’t like the others, I can say that with the utmost certainty.” Loki wryly replied, a smirk curling over his lips while his gaze softened. “Perhaps that’s why you are so intriguing.”

Theo allowed herself to sink back into her chair, taking another long drink of her whiskey.

“Why is it that you use your magic to heal others, rather than for your own benefit?” Loki spoke up once more, smirk firmly in place despite the steely glint that came to his eyes. “I’ve heard the answer you provided to the press, but there’s more to it, isn’t there? There must be something which ultimately drives your decisions.”

Apparently he hadn’t finished interrogating her yet.

Theo sighed, massaging her temple as she braced herself for another round of personal questions. “You’ve lost someone important to you before, right?”

Loki’s smirk dropped for a much colder expression.

“Relax - I’m not about to make you spill your trauma to me, and I’m not about to dump mine on you,” Theo drawled, arching an eyebrow at him. “My point is, that shit’s painful. It stays with you. You spend too much time wondering whether you could have done something differently to stop it from happening, thinking about what you wish you could have told them if you knew you’d never see them again. You know as well as I do that magic can’t fix that.”

Pausing to take a drink, Theo took the silence from Loki as an invitation to continue.

“I guess I’d like to think that if I know enough, or if I learn everything there is to know, maybe I can prevent other people from going through that kind of pain. Maybe I can make something good of a terrible experience.” she breathed deeply, then out a humorless chuckle. “Or maybe it’s just me being neurotic and I need therapy.”

When she finally worked up the courage to bring her eyes back up and meet Loki’s gaze, the skepticism and suspicion that he’d previously regarded her with was nowhere to be seen; instead, there was a softness that she had never seen before, a melancholic familiarity that tinted his expression.

“Now, in the interest of not receiving a surprise invoice after you start billing me for therapy, I think it’s time to change the subject,” Theo remarked, glancing around the room. “There’s an amazing library around us to explore. Give me the run-down; what are the must-see parts? The insider tips?”

It seemed that Loki was just as grateful for the diversion; with a curl of his lips, he quickly dove into sharing his guide to the space.

As she listened, Theo could already tell - she needed to be careful around him, or he just might be her downfall.

You look like I did You resist me just like this You can’t tell me to heal And it hurts remembering How it felt to shut down

It was like Theo was back in her residency all over again… Or at least, when she was at that stage of her life.

Takeout boxes scattered across the coffee table, each filled to varying extents with different foods. Julie ordered an entire spread of food, insisting that this was the best Chinese food in Midtown and Theo had to try a bit of everything now that she lived in Midtown. Two oversized glasses of merlot sat, one in front of each woman, as well as a half-empty wine bottle.

Julie decided, a whopping two days into Theo’s new role, that they were long-overdue for a girl’s night, which meant they ordered an absurd amount of probably unhealthy food, drank way too much wine, and talked about anything and everything. It took a lot longer for the plan to come to fruition - between all the things Theo had to do for onboarding and finding a moment when both doctors were free, it wasn’t until Theo was at the end of her onboarding period that they could find a night to relive their younger years.

Which led to Julie, ink black curls twisted into a topknot and clad in athleisure, sprawled out next to Theo on the couch as they swapped stories and made up for lost time.

“So let me get this straight: the entire time I’ve known you, you’ve had magic? And you didn’t say anything?!” Julie used her chopsticks to maneuver lo-mein straight from the box into her mouth, slurping up one rogue noodle.

“What the fuck would I say?” Theo laughed, then took a drink of her Merlot. “Hey, by the way, I’m a witch? And not in a funny Halloween way! I literally have magic!”

“No? I don’t know!” Julie exclaimed with a laugh and shook her head. “But that’s a hell of a secret to keep!”

“Well for a while it was kind-of illegal, if you think about it…” Theo gestured with her chopsticks.

“Right, the Accords.” Julie nodded. “But were you still using magic?”

“Of course I was,” Theo scoffed, “I wasn’t about to give that up - it’s way too convenient! There’s no way in hell I’d get Mémère to move, but I need to be able to see her often and get there fast. Magic lets me do that.”

Julie took a long drink of her wine, letting the burgundy liquid linger on her tongue before speaking. “Is magic why you’re so smart and why you’re so good at so many things?”

“I’m not omnipotent or all-knowing. I’m terrible at a lot of things.” Theo rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Just ask Max - I’m pretty sure he could list off a hundred things I’m terrible at in less than a minute.”

“Oh, right - Max!” Julie perked up, leaning in close and licking her lips. “How is he?”

“He finished his residency a few years back and moved back to Michigan, where he works as an oncologist. He married a pediatrician and they have the most precious three year old named Katie, who’s about to start preschool.”

“Damn, I always thought you should set us up.” Julie placed the back of one hand to her forehead, pretending to swoon. “But I suppose if he has his happily ever after…”

“Oh my god, Jules. You two would have murdered each other.” Theo snorted, reaching for a different box of takeout - this one looked like it had gyoza - and popping a dumpling in her mouth. She hadn’t fully finished chewing before she continued, pointing with her chopsticks to emphasize her response. “Besides, the last thing I need is the two of you ganging up to give me shit. Separate is more than enough!”

“Fine, I guess we won’t become related by marriage,” Julie barely got the faux-dramatic complaint out before she broke into a grin. “Hey, speaking of – you seeing anyone? Boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever?”

“No.” Theo nearly spit out her food at the question - given how hard it was for her to even find time to spend with a coworker, the answer seemed like it should have been obvious. “You’ve seen my calendar. When the hell would I have time to date someone?”

“Damn. I was hoping you were and they’d have a cute friend.” Jules sighed; then, a glint of something devious appeared in her eyes. “Wait, what about Loki?”

“What about him?”

“Why does he come down and visit you all the time?” Julie sat up, brow crinkled in thought. “I thought it was because you two had something going on, but it sounds like you don’t.”

“I mean, he’s friendly enough, but it’s not like that.” Theo shook her head, then began searching for something else to try. “He just decided to pay me a visit one day, and then it turned into a regular thing. It’s kind of weird - I assume he wants something from me, but I don’t know what. He hasn’t said anything one way or the other.”

“Have you asked him why he visits?”

Theo rolled her eyes. “That’s far too logical of a solution.”

“Do you think he likes you?” Julie wiggled her eyebrows at Theo, something devilish simmering beneath her smirk.

“I don’t think he hates me if he’s choosing to spend time with me.” Theo dryly replied, as she arched an eyebrow at Julie. “But I doubt that it’s anything like that. It seems like he’s more trying to figure out how I operate.”

“What if you asked him out?”

Theo couldn’t help but let her jaw drop at the question. “You realize that he’s my coworker and that I live with him, right?��

“So?” Julie shrugged nonchalantly. “You dated that surgical resident for a bit.”

“I didn’t live with him, and I didn’t realize he thought they were dates.” Theo pointed out. “If I dated Loki and it didn’t work, I’d practically be living a walk of shame every day.”

“Can you really be having a walk of shame if you slept with a god?” Julie wiggled her eyebrows at Theo a second time, this time paired with a massive, shit-eating grin.

“Sounds like you want me to set you up with him.” Theo deflected, not letting herself dwell on the thought of hooking up with Loki. Anyone who could see knew Loki was attractive, but Theo didn’t need that kind of a distraction in her life.

“No, but if you could set me up with Sam I wouldn’t complain.” Julie took a long drink of wine, her cheeks turning rosy-pink against olive skin. “In fact, I’d give my first born child to go out with him, even once.”

“I haven’t really talked to Sam, to be honest.” Theo sheepishly admitted, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“Really?”

“Yeah…” Theo shrugged, staring down at her chopsticks. “Honestly, outside of Loki coming to chat with me, I haven’t really talked to any of the Avengers.”

Julie nearly spit her wine out. “You’re shitting me. You’ve been here for over a month and you’ve hardly talked to any of them?!”

“Jesus, settle down.” Theo held her hand out as if it would placate her friend, but Julie continued to gawk at her. “Honestly, it’s fine! This is supposed to be a temporary gig for me anyways. I would rather not get wrapped up in being an Avenger –” Theo scrunched her face into something unpleasant as she mocked the phrase ‘being an Avenger’ “–I still want to know how to be normal when all is said and done.”

Julie studied Theo for a moment, her playful demeanor gone and in its place something more… serious.

“They are more normal than you think.” Julie plucked a different takeout container from the table, rummaging through with her chopsticks before taking a bite. “I mean, Tony Stark is a bona fide celebrity through and through, but the rest of them are shockingly down to Earth. Is it like they haven’t tried to talk to you, or what?” “Not exactly?” Theo cringed, knowing Julie would flip out when she heard Theo’s explanation. “They’ve invited me to do stuff with them, I just… I haven’t accepted any of the invites.”

“Girl.” Theo didn’t have to look at her friend to hear the disappointment dripping from her response. “Why haven’t you gone with them?!”

“Because I don’t think they really want to get to know me!” Theo finally blurted out, allowing her exasperation to reveal itself. “When they found out I have experience with shadow magic and some experience dealing with shadow beasts, they all assumed I was some villain - plus, when Fury explained I was coming on board to help he told them, and I quote, ‘your mission is to make her stay.’ So not only do they all think I’m a terror or a freak, the only reason they’re talking to me is because it’s their fucking mission!”

By the time Theo finished her outburst, Julie’s expression had shifted from pure shock to studying the Silver Shadow with something unreadable in her espresso eyes.

“If that’s the case, why do you talk to Loki?”

“Because when I met everyone, he was the only one who seemed like he actually wanted to know me.” Theo muttered, then took a long drink of her wine.

Julie leaned forward, resting a hand on Theo’s knee. “Look, I know you had a rough start with them, and I’m sorry - it’s hard to feel like you’re an outsider. But I think if you took some time to get to know them, they’ll not only fall in love with you, but you might find that they aren’t so bad after all… And if not, I’ll kick their asses.”

Theo choked on her wine at the threat, which immediately left her doubled over coughing. Julie, on the other hand, burst into laughter.

“I would pay to see that.” Theo wheezed, though she was also laughing.

“It would be a shit show, but I’d do it for you.” Julie grinned at Theo, pride sparkling in her eyes. “Or for a date with Sam Wilson. I’m telling you, Nick Cage should have tried to steal that ass, because it is a national treasure.”

The truth never set me free So, I'll do it myself… You can't be too careful anymore When all that is waiting for you Won't come any closer You've got to reach out More... More... More.... More, More...

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starboyshoyo · 1 year

Note

For the event, Can I have item 5 and mirror 13?

Thank you

Item 5: A playing card in pristine condition

Mirror 13: A mirror covered with a black dropcloth

You pick up the card. A black clover adorns the face, edges crisp and new. You inhale deeply, catching the scents of fresh laundry and clean sheets

You have chosen: Trey Clover x reader, in the Mystery Shop

What to choose, what to choose…

A sleepy, lulling music drifts through the aisles you pore over the bags of flour in the back of the Mystery Shop. A bell tinkles somewhere in the store, but you pay it no mind. A brief flicker of frustration laces through your features. Why couldn’t choosing a type of flour be as intuitive as choosing what you want to eat for dinner?

“Excuse me,” a voice says near your ear. You nearly jerk back in surprise. In front of you stands a tall young man with a clover marking under his eye. He’s holding a shopping basket in his left hand, and gesturing to the bags of flour with the right.

“Can I help you with something?” you ask him. His voice is deep and friendly, and you can’t help but notice his eyes- They’re honey-colored and warm, reminding you of tea on a cold winter day.

Oh, hello there, handsome stranger.

“Sorry to bother,” he smiles at you, “But I noticed you back here and it seemed like you were having trouble deciding which flour to pick. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you trying to make?”

You instantly feel your cheeks warm. You know this feeling all too well, but you’re determined to keep your cool. “I’m not quite sure,” you admit. “I originally came here because I was craving some kind of sweet in the morning, but to be honest, I can’t remember what it was now.”

He laughs, a deep rumbling sound, and you grin back, slightly embarrassed. “We all have those days,” he says, a gentle smile gracing his features. He runs his hands over the various bags. “Personally, I like to use the pastry flour- It’s what I’m used to, since my family are bakers. But if you’re going for something with a bit more protein in it, there are nut-based ones as well. They’re a little thicker though- if you’re a beginner, maybe you can start with all-purpose flour?”

You consider this for a moment. Handsome, and he can bake too? “All purpose it is, then,” you agree. He bends down again, picking out one for you and hoisting it under his arm.

“Shall we head to the register?” He shakes his head when you hesitate, reaching for the bag- “Ah-ah, I got this.”

The two of you make your way to the counter, Mr. Handsome chatting idly about pastries and you listening. You try not to stare at the rippling muscles in his arms as he hoists the heavy sacks onto the counter.

“10 thaumarks per bag. Thank you, dear customers! Come again soon.” The eccentric shopkeep beams.

But as you go to take out your wallet, you notice your new friend has already purchased both bags. “Wait! I can pay for my own,” you protest. “You’ve already carried the bags over, no need to do this for me, too. I don’t even know your name!”

The amused smirk slides across Mr. Handsome’s face once again. “It’s Trey Clover,” he tells you. “And ten thaumarks is a small price to pay for lovely company, don’t you agree?”

He’s so charming it’s unfair. “I… I still need to repay you somehow.”

“Well…” he considers this for a second. “Why don’t you help me carry this all back to Heartslabyul Dorm, then? You can make up for it by joining me in the kitchen for a bit. How about it?”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst wonderland #twst #trey clover #trey clover x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #birdie.100 followers

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eldritchamy · 1 year

Note

WAIT hold on hi abt the tags on the post about terfs being stupid about periods you reblogged - does HRT really end up causing similar hormone change cycles to periods? i've never heard abt that before and it's kind of boggling my mind because on the one hand why WOULDN'T HRT do that but on the other hand why WOULD it?

So keep in mind I am not an expert on the subject and everything I’m about to tell you is for the purpose of introducing you to the subject matter.

The short answer is yes. And it’s not similar to periods. It’s EXACTLY periods. Caused by the exact same hormones interacting with the body in the exact same way.

So yes it does happen, and it happens because a period doesn’t come from a uterus. It comes from the hypothalamus. A uterus is just the organ most noticeably affected by it. A uterus is not necessary whatsoever to experience period symptoms.

Everyone has a hypothalamus. It’s just a little thing in your brain that does some endocrine/hormone stuff. Under the right hormone conditions, ANYONE can have period symptoms. Not everyone can bleed because you need uterine lining tissue for that (some amab intersex people do! I’ve read at least one account from an amab person who found out they were intersex BECAUSE they had a small amount of uterine lining in their rectum which caused monthly bleeding when they hit puberty).

But literally every other period symptom is fair game.

And yes, that sucks.

If you want quick links to some sources I’ve read about the subject without clicking through for my rambling bullshit, here:

Yes, Trans Women Can Get Period Symptoms (2016)

Cycle Dynamic - Why Trans Women Can Have Periods (2018)

If you DO want my rambling bullshit, buckle up because I’m Very Normal when I find a subject interesting.

The background fact you need to understand the rest of this is that the human body doesn’t actually HAVE separate “versions” of anything for ‘male’ and ‘female’ bodies (I may be using these terms more liberally than they should really be used for ease of reading, but for the record the gender binary is bullshit, which is the point of where this is going). Even a penis is just a modified clitoris. It’s not an analogous structure. It’s literally the exact same organ. (And it does change in response to hormones).

The human body is just the human body. It decides how it behaves based on chemistry, not genetics. There are CERTAIN STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT (namely embryonic/EARLY fetal and puberty) in which major diversions in form and function happen. And of those embryonic is faaaaaaar more significant because it’s what sets the harder to change things (primary sex characteristics) in place. Most secondary sex characteristics can be changed later just by changing the hormone chemistry of your body, which is the entire principle behind why HRT is possible.

At no point ever in the entire span of a human life cycle does anything like “oh okay, you have a BOY hypothalamus :) enjoy :)” happen. You just have the same hypothalamus as everyone else, barring medical conditions.

SO. Basically how it works is your hypothalamus knows how much estrogen is in your body at any given time, and if it notices a spike in that level, it says to itself, “OH SHIT! WE HAVE A MATURE EGG! Time to MAKE SOME CHANGES.”

Your hypothalamus does not know or care whether you have a uterus. It only responds to the estrogen cycle.

Both cis and trans women (and anyone else who either has a working uterus or takes an estrogen supplement, but again, using simple language to get the ideas across) have estrogen cycles.

In CIS women, the estrogen cycle is internal and based on ovulation. TL;DR, your ovaries release different amounts of estrogen throughout the cycle based on the maturity of an egg cell.

In TRANS women, the estrogen cycle is external because we get our estrogen from pills or injections instead of from ovaries, and it’s based on how your body metabolizes that medication. You usually get a big hit around the time you get the dosage and then it tapers off until you take the next dose. Back to this in a second.

IN EITHER CASE, your hypothalamus tracks those changes and responds to them by releasing the period hormones (GnRH (Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone), FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone), LH (Leutinizing Hormone)) at a certain point in that cycle. When your hypothalamus feels that estrogen spike, it doesn’t CARE where that estrogen came from because it’s not its JOB to know where the estrogen came from. It only cares that it’s there. And you have the exact same hypothalamus no matter what genitals you have.

This next bit is speculation on my part based on experience and anecdotal evidence, but it seems like the greater and more predictable the VARIATION over the course of that cycle, the easier it is for your hypothalamus to be like “AHA! NOW!” and keep you on a regular cycle. Trans women who take INJECTIONS, which are on a much longer release schedule than pills, tend to experience more ups and downs in their estrogen levels and more noticeable, and regular, period symptoms. FOR ME, I’ve only ever been on pills, at a few different dosages. Earlier on I noticed that for (surprise) about 3 to 5 days every month, I would get all kinds of symptoms like headaches, backaches, joint aches, muscle aches, irritability, mood swings, depressive episodes, odd cravings (usually just crunchy and salty but sometimes really specific things), bloating, cramps (yes really), gastrointestinal stuff, etc. I suspect, with no evidence either way, that these symptoms were mild, but I’ve heard other trans women describe their symptoms as much less severe than mine, so idk.

ALSO earlier on, I used to take all of my pills at once, one time per day. I noticed something interesting when I switched to splitting my dosage and taking half twice a day: a huge reduction in severity and regularity of period symptoms. My levels are a lot more consistent throughout the day now, and I guess my hypothalamus can no longer sense a spike in my levels. (It used to be ESPECIALLY severe when I ran out and it took a few days to get my prescriptions refilled, cause then I had an estrogen crash (which gives you symptoms of menopause and wow THAT’S a wild ride, hot flashes are the actual worst) followed by a spike when I got back on them and almost always would have a super noticeable period within days of this happening).

So when I started spreading my dosage throughout the day, I basically made my hypothalamus too confused to know when to release those hormones. Either that or it thinks I’m pregnant. I’m not sure.

Coming back from that tangent.

It is a VERY KNOWN THING that when you take estrogen INJECTIONS, you need to work with your doctors a bit to figure out the exact dosage and timing that works best for you, because a lot of the time what happens with that is you’ll experience pretty severe dysphoria and depression symptoms in the days leading up to your next injection, and if this describes the experience of anyone you know, congrats, that’s PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder), and you need your injections to be a few days closer together to prevent those symptoms. It’s literally your body experiencing an estrogen crash because your last dose wore off too long before you got the next one. This is also more common in people who take Progesterone.

The long and short of what happens when your hypothalamus registers an estrogen spike is that it releases the period hormones, which basically among other things go down to your abdomen and say W̶̫̬̒I̶̧̬̤͛Ĝ̴̦͆̽G̴̢̞̈́L̴̩͖̂E̷͇̲̊͐̀. And if you have a uterus, all that wiggling is what makes your uterus cramp up and squeeze out its lining and start bleeding. It ALSO has the delightful side effect of not really caring enough to target the uterus specifically, so it also makes your INTESTINES start cramping up and squeezing themselves, so fun fact that’s where period shits come from if you have those.

Everybody say “thank you, hypothalamus.”

So yeah that’s why it happens. The TL;DR is blame the hypothalamus. The human body is differentiated by chemistry not chromosomes. Put the right chemistry in place and you can absolutely get periods.

And yes, they suck for us too.

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nekoannie-chan · 1 year

Text

Secrets chapter 4: The Beginning or the End of Everything? Part III

Pairing: Steve Rogers X OFC, Brock Rumlow X OFC.

Word count: 1052 words.

Summary: Sometimes keeping secrets can be dangerous or a heavy burden, which is what Kathleen has been doing for years. She will also be in charge of guiding Steve Rogers into this century; meanwhile, S.H.I.E.L.D. will be looking for a way to kick-start the Avengers Initiative by integrating her as one of the superheroes, but that won't be the only danger they face.

Warnings: None

A/N: After long time working on this longfic, I finally post it. If you wanna be added to the taglist, let me know.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish: Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too. Secrets masterlist. Previous chapter. Next chapter.

𝟸 𝓂𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒽𝓈 𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇

It had already been two years since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D., and her missions so far have been successful. At the moment she was in her office reviewing the proposal for the Insight Project, the board of Directors had rejected it. She didn’t understand the reasons. Everything seemed in order. She sincerely preferred to do that over the other missions. He knew she helped people by stopping those criminals, but that didn't mean she liked being on some missions. She preferred to do office work or go on some missions with Brock.

Despite everything, she was still checking everything related to the project. According to the manuals and protocols, everything was in order; therefore, it didn't make sense that it had been rejected... Unless it was for monetary reasons.

Fury entered the office with a folder, and without saying a single word, she turned to see it. She knew that it could only be something too important, so much so that the rest of the missions would be postponed until further notice and the personnel would participate more. She took it and began to leaf through the content, but she didn’t understand well what it meant. In truth, she began to believe that it was a joke by Nick, although she was no longer a little girl to laugh at the jokes that Nick used to make.

"An hour ago, some Russian tankers sent us these photos; I need you to analyze them; you have less than two hours; it's urgent, as it can't fall into the wrong hands," Nick ordered her.

Kathleen nodded and got to work. She also called Cameron; she would need some help. Together they managed to get the results in less time than she required, but she could not believe it. He was most likely dead; no one would resist even those conditions and probably not even the magnitude of the impact; it was the ship, but she was not so sure if he would be in there. The best thing to do was to send someone to check and, if possible, get what was left and try to recover it because if any of the enemies did it before them, they could try again to replicate the serum or use it for some experiment, and that meant more problems.

Now more questions popped into her head. How would they break the news to the world? What would happen now? Would they examine the discovery? Should she worry?

Probably, there would be a memorial or some ceremony to thank him for his service or something, she didn't even know why she was worrying about the situation, she just had to do her job.

It was three in the morning when Nick Fury's phone rang, and he immediately answered to receive the news that Captain America had been found, or at least his frozen body. Under those conditions, they could not be sure if he was alive or not, so he gave precise instructions: they had to get him out of there and take him to the S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities in New York so that the doctors could take care of him and he would be submitted to some tests before telling anyone else since he didn’t want rumors to spread to the population.

He knew who was the perfect person for what was coming, plus it would be easier to know what was really going on, although he was sure she would not give any statements to the media, so they could prepare whatever was necessary.

A few minutes later, he spoke to Kathleen to assign her to the mission, which was simple: to be present while they took the Captain out of the ice to try to read his mind and thus be able to corroborate if he was alive, as well as to be by his side during the transfer and the doctor's examination, and in case he was alive, she would have to help him adapt to the present time.

Kath's mobile phone rang, she mumbled something unintelligible, and she wanted to continue sleeping, but if Nick was talking directly to her on his personal mobile phone instead of his work one, it was really something exaggeratedly important. She moved Brock so she could answer; she had lost count of the times they had been together.

Although they weren't in a romantic relationship as they had agreed, they had repeated that night of the mission several times, sometimes at her place, sometimes at his apartment. Although neither of their feelings had changed.

Even Brock was thinking of trying to have a relationship after a while, to convince her, although first, he had to find a way to keep her safe.

She got up and dressed as quickly as possible to arrive on time as soon as she heard the news. She left a note with a vague explanation for Brock to see when he woke up; she still had to go through some documents with Fury so they wouldn't have any problems since it was something secret and no one could find out that they had found it to prevent it from falling into enemy hands.

She opened a portal to get to the place where they found him as quickly as possible. She gave the documents to the Lieutenant, they had already taken him out of the ship and were preparing everything to take him to the S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities, although Kath didn't know which ones, so she had to hurry, otherwise, she would have to give explanations to Fury.

Someone tried to stop her, but she practically threw the document Nick had given her and went up to the ship with them. She couldn't perceive much, not counting the noise of the others' minds; she had to concentrate. She couldn't have Cerebro with her; she didn't want anyone to know she had him, so she had to think of something different to see if she could catch any thoughts.

She reached over and put a hand in Steve's hair; it still had some ice in it; however, she had no idea how they had gotten it out of there, and since it wasn't completely thawed, she started to pick up some slow and vague thoughts that meant he was alive.

Ꭲꭺꮐꮮꮖꮪꭲ:

@saiyanprincessswanie @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

@navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @mylifeispainandiloveit @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @jtargaryen18 @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted

#Secrets #Steve Rogers x OFC #brock rumlow x ofc

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blackpearlblast · 1 month

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Hello,

I'm seeking help to share this message or advice on getting donations. We need to leave northern Gaza for Egypt due to severe conditions. Food is gone, and we're left eating unknown plants to survive. We're also scared of being trapped if the Israeli military comes to Rafah.

Thanks for any support.

I am sorry for annoying

I am exhausted from trying to contact organizations; reaching them has been incredibly difficult. Your help would mean the world to me.

https://gofund.me/78ba39cf

you are not at all annoying, i am so sorry you are going through this. i reblogged your GFM again, for advice i would say maybe focus on getting people to reblog this post:

where tamarrud verifies your campaign? there have sadly been many scams on here that pretend to be people fleeing gaza to take money from people who want to help which is horrifying, and also means people have gotten more wary of requests for help. a lot of people rely on palestinian bloggers from the diaspora who have been able to look at and verify campaigns as belonging to real people, which is what tamarrud did for you.

i honestly feel hopelessly unqualified to be providing advice in a situation like this but above is just what i know from trying to post other fundraisers on here to help them meet their goals. i will think more on what i can do to help today as well (i have one art commission that i need to finish and once i finish it maybe i can open art commissions in exchange for donations to your campaign) i am also posting this publicly in hopes some of my mutuals or followers might have ideas. i know @fairuzfan is in contact with someone who was able to bring food into northern gaza recently but i don't know enough about logistics if you would be able to get to them or if there is any food left at this point. i'm sorry i wish i had more to offer right now and i will keep thinking as hard as i can today on this.

#received #dp #Please everyone reblog the post i linked above and donate if you can

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maikingsenseofit · 2 years

Text

The Grand Maiko Defense Post

Okay so I originally meant this to be a reblog for a post referencing my post - but I decided it would be better standalone - and in order to avoid controversy (something I attract a lot of) it would be better to try and not invoke any direct mentions - considering the last time I did I was flooded with troll posts shipping Mai and her infant brother.

That being said - this is long and juicy. This is the reference post:

I made my original post debunking common anti Maiko arguments off of this premise, right here:

“If Mai truly knew Zuko, she’d know that he wouldn’t be comforted by ordering servants around.”

I concede that the hot towel part wasn’t the best evidence. However, like OP admits -

“and also because yes, like any normal person, he does enjoy having people do things for him. Hence the little smile, the reassurance that it’s okay for him to be pampered, which assuages some of the guilt he’s been feeling since Ba Sing Se. He’s the prince, he can tell himself, he deserves it. That’s also why he takes the time to show off to his girlfriend a little a scene later by offering her anything she wants.”

Mai’s immediate thought to cheer up Zuko is to offer him the same things that cheered him up - or at least made him smile , which we explicitly see in both scenes-five minutes before. Mai obviously knows that Zuko is unhappy and is experiencing emotional turmoil. That is once again covered in The Beach episode. But despite all his emotional anguish, discomfort, and guilty conscious- he does eventually accept and revel in some of the comforts associated with being fire nation royalty. We explicitly see him smiling, accepting, and taking the palanquin ride or happily ordering fruit tarts for Mai. His guilty conscious here, no matter how powerful, wasn’t strong enough for him to completely disavow every and all of the comforts he was offered as a product of trying to be the perfect fire nation prince.

But let’s try and understand my main point here and something else I thought of while writing this. Zuko’s emotional turmoil isn’t meant to be assuaged by a palanquin ride or fruit tarts. Mai initially offers it because her immediate thought is to cheer Zuko up. Mai, as a character, is taught to be restrained with her emotions and there is an explicit parallel between what her mom says to her in Omashu “Mai your father was appointed Governor here. Be happy and enjoy it.” And what Mai says on the ship is “Stop Worrying.” As a product of her environment, she never learned how to sit with her emotions and truly understand the root of her issues. So yes, her immediate thought is to cheer Zuko up at least in a superficial way, because that is what she’s conditioned to believe all along - that emotions can simply be willed away.

Except it doesn’t work. And Mai doesn’t force it to work or become angry or frustrated at Zuko when he doesn’t listen to her. She lets him go. I cannot emphasize the importance of this enough. To say that Mai fundamentally doesnt understand Zuko - and in the same vein failing to acknowledge that after her attempt at cheering him up didnt work, Mai doesn’t get angry or frustrated. She realizes that this is a problem fruit tarts cannot solve and that what Zuko is going through is much deeper and he needs time and space to process this. So she does exactly that - she gives him the time and space to process his emotional turmoil.

She knows Zuko is experiencing difficulty, and although she is not privy to why he is experiencing it (unlike Iroh, she wasn’t there in Ba Sing Se and we never see Zuko explaining his entire journey to her (and yes I will address the life story part)) she offers him care and company - despite her limitations. Something we see was never offered to her - by her parents or her best friends, especially Azula. And to emphasize for what feels like the millionth time, Zuko and Mai are both products of emotionally abusive, unhappy families and childhoods. They never learned the right way to cope with emotions or to help others cope with their emotions. What we see here is Mai undoing what she learned by sticking with Zuko instead of shutting him down or attempting to Will away his emotions after her first offer.

To reiterate- She might not know the full reason why he’s feeling the way he is - but she knows he’s hurting, needs a shoulder to lean on, someone to accompany him during this difficult time. She knows he has had a troubled past and isn’t fully accepted or loved by his own family. It’s not easy being the girlfriend of one of the most complex people in the story. She’s a teenager - there are plenty of other Fire Nation nobles who she could sit and bitch with and order fruit tarts all day long. But she loves Zuko and she tries her best to be there for him. That is undeniable and canonically evidenced.

Part 2: regarding Mai’s purpose. Let’s analyze Mai’s purpose and relation to Zuko’s arc through a different lens, one in which she represents the hero’s goddess in the hero’s journey. For this, I’m going to reference another brilliant author, jill_rg on Live Journal, who states the following:

“Zuko knows what he has to do: join the Avatar and prepare him to defeat Fire Lord Ozai once and for all. It should be an easy decision. After all, what will he miss? Not his father, not the pomp and pleasure of palace life, not the glory and respect of his people; he believes ending the war and bringing about peace is what is best for his own country as well as the world. He knows he is doing the right thing, and he won’t miss anything he leaves behind. No, it would be too easy if there wasn’t one thing he regretted leaving behind, one thing he would miss, one thing he cared about: Mai.”

In short, Mai is the one tie to the fire nation that Zuko, our hero, has to narratively sacrifice to fulfill his journey. He can’t attain happiness or true enlightenment until he fully realizes his destiny, and in order to do that he must leave Mai behind.His sacrifice of their relationship makes his decision all the more heroic and poignant. The pain he suffers from making this decision makes it all the more meaningful - showing that it wasn’t easy for him to embark on the journey to teach Aang and a personal sacrifice had to be made for the greater good. Mai matches this sacrifice in the narrative by jeopardizing her life, her personal relationship with Zuko - for the greater good.

This makes Mai Zuko’s goddess, a trope and characterization that has been explored multiple times throughout popular hero’s journeys from The Odyssey to Star Wars. According to Jill-rg, who quotes Joseph Campbell from A Hero With a Thousand Faces,

“The role of the Goddess is more than a love interest; she is a powerful force in the hero's life and represents the fulfillment of all his desires. She can be a protective force who holds the power he needs to achieve his quest. When he falls, she will save him. When he succeeds, she will reward him. According to Campbell, she represents the totality of what can known, and "the hero is the one who comes to know."

What I see many anti-Maiko/pro Zutara people do is confuse Mai being Zuko’s goddess with Mai being Zuko’s temptress - a character in the hero’s journey who represents the fulfillment of all the hero’s desires at a cost. The temptress leads the hero down a self destructive path - and it’s little wonder who I’m talking about : Azula. Azula promises Zuko everything he ever wanted - to come back to the fire nation a crown prince with the respect of his father that he fought so hard to earn. But there are malicious intentions behind this promise - and if Zuko doesn’t comply with Azula’s expectations, it will lead to dire consequences.

“Mai further lives up to her role when she opposes the Temptress. Azula wants to destroy Zuko, but Mai does not let that happen. Zuko and Azula battle in The Boiling Rock, and she thinks he will be killed, but he is saved by Mai. Mai's protective force proves to be more powerful than Azula's destructive force. Azula brings Zuko the curse of spiritual death; Mai gives him the gift of life.”

The main point here is Zuko needs Mai in the narrative - she saves his life. She eventually realizes her position of fulfilling Zuko’s destiny, instead of leading it astray like Azula does. She represents a tangible, personal sacrifice that Zuko has to give up in order to fulfill his destiny - and she matches it by doing the exact same thing. We have two people here who love each other so deeply but cannot truly end up together UNTIL they fulfill their own responsibilities and roles. If this isn’t the bedrock for a beautiful relationship, I don’t know what is. Also - please refer to this link if you’re wondering why Katara doesn’t serve as Zuko’s narrative goddess:

This next part is something that I disagree with so much that I’m just going to state my piece and go. Part of online discourse is recognizing when nothing will change how someone views a character - so I’m just going to state my piece and leave it be.

Zuko was angry, irritable, and emotionally disregulated the entire beach trip. From the very first scene

Zuko [Cut to closer view of Zuko and Mai. Angrily.] Doing nothing is a waste of time. [Rises from his seat next to Mai.] We're being sent away on a forced vacation. [Walks over and grips the railing of the boat.] I feel like a child.

Then, as I mention in my other meta, despite Mai explicitly saying she doesn’t like sea shells, Zuko offers her the first thing he sees and erupts when she rejects it. Zuko accuses Mai of being attracted to another guy - when she barely even looked at him - and then erupts in a jealous fit of anger when Mai is simply having a conversation with another guy. Yet despite all his unjust behavior towards her - Mai is the one to offer the olive branch for Zuko by reaching out to him first in an attempt to offer support. Yet she is spurned again by Zuko.

Mai [Side-view. Hesitating at first.] Hey.

Zuko [View of both from behind. Turning to Mai.] Where's your new boyfriend?

Now to address the most ridiculous thing in this whole post - that “Mai only shows she cares for Zuko when she doesn’t have to support him emotionally” let’s look at this scene, where Mai, along with Ty Lee and Azula, helps Zuko divulge the root of his pain and why he’s so angry at himself - instead of shutting him down or feigning disinterest, like you allege she does throughout the show. She genuinely cares. She puts in the work to help him - at the height of him externalizing his emotion, symbolized literally and figuratively when the flames erupt around him.

Also, internalizing emotions means to keep emotions bottled up. Externalizing emotions means to vocalize them and act on them, btw :)

Zuko [Close-up.] No one. I'm just angry.

Mai [Side-view of the three girls.] Yeah, who are you angry at, Zuko?

Which is in direct contrast to what you claimed here:

“At no point does Mai dig into the root of why he is angry.”

“At no point did she offer him emotional support when he was in turmoil.”

But Wait - here she is quite literally providing him emotional support when he’s in turmoil, because despite him revealing that he’s angry at himself, it still does not pacify his feelings of turmoil and how his moral compass has gone awry. Yet despite all his anger, Mai takes a stand next to Zuko - showing she truly cares for him when no one else does. And it is exemplified by the small expression of relief on his face.

Now to counter this point:

“ That also means Mai can get Zuko back without having to do any of the hard emotional or ethical work herself.”

Im not going into the ethics or morality of Mai because I believe she falls under the ideology of putting herself and the people she cares about above ideals and morals. Explained in another meta, but basically she’s the Avatar version of Katniss Everdeen. And I answered why that doesn’t make her incompatible with Zuko in my “Yin and Yang” meta. But to claim that Mai is never introspective or doesn’t do any hard emotional work or is just wrong. And heres why:

Zuko [Aerial view of campsite. Walking up to the campfire.] I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once instead of keeping all your feeling bottled up inside. [Frontal view.] She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?

Mai [Aerial view of campsite. Leaning back.] What do you want from me? You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well, it wasn't. [Close-up.] I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted ... as long as I behaved [Cut to shot of the sky.] and sat still, and didn't speak unless spoken to. [Close-up of Zuko.] My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about.

Zuko wants Mai to express herself and her emotions instead of keeping it all bottled up inside, something that we’ve seen she’s been trained to do not only from her mom (like you yourself acknowledge) but from her own account. Instead of resorting to her apathetic demure, she takes the second to consider what Zuko says - and decides to not take what Ty Lee said and move on - she addresses it. She reveals why she keeps up the “I don’t care about anything” facade. She does the emotional work. But it that wasn’t prove enough, Zuko still wants her to express her emotions and to break free from that facade. And what does she do?

Zuko: “I like it when you express yourself.”

Mai: “you want me to express myself? LEAVE ME ALONE.”

Mai: “I love Zuko, more than I fear you.”

So to claim that Mai never had character development, or that she, Like Zuko, didnt learn or grow from her past self is a deliberate and malicious interpretation of canon to support another ship or character. And what better to exemplify then the very next part of your argument?

“She’s the only one other than Iroh because she helped put Iroh in prison. You can argue about how loyal she is to Azula and whether she had a choice, but the fact of the matter is that the reason Iroh ain’t around, and Mai is the only one Zuko has to rely on, is because Iroh is in prison and Mai and Zuko would not have a relationship otherwise.”

W. H. A. T. What WHAT WHATTTTTTTT?

Are you forgetting that Zuko literally betrayed Iroh moments before? That his decision to join his sister meant rejecting his uncle and that Zuko knew that by doing this Iroh would suffer the consequences? Since I guess we all need a refresher let’s look at the Avatar wiki:

Mai was on Azula’s team, but Zuko made the deliberate choice to betray Iroh - knowing that it would brand Iroh as a traitor and result in his imprisonment. So what is the argument here? That Mai imprisoned Iroh? So she could continue a relationship with Zuko? That Mai would have imprisoned Zuko too? This is genuinely misogynistic. This entire paragraph reeks of making a woman culpable for something she literally didn’t even do - literally ignoring Zuko’s éxplicit and deliberate decision - to thereby prove some sort of point that I don’t even quite understand.

The real fact of the matter is that “the reason Iroh ain’t around, and Mai is the only one Zuko has to rely on” is because of ZUKO’s decisions and choices. He chose this. And yes relationships are all borne out of conditional necessity. Let’s look at Zuko and Katara. The only reason why Zuko makes amends to Katara and had to be introspective and evaluate his own decisions is because she was the only person in the Gaang who wouldn’t accept him. If Katara didn’t verbalize how upset she was in front of Zuko and the Gaang, he would have never asked “Why is your sister so mad at me?” And even then didn’t understand or remember the extent of his betrayal until Katara explicitly stated that she was the first person to trust Zuko.

Again, ship who you want to ship. But if you’re going to, in good faith I presume, evaluate a relationship based on its conditional necessity - let’s look at one where if it wasn’t for a mission and Zuko’s decision to enter the Gaang again - Zuko would have never apologized or reflected on how he deeply hurt a person who offered to heal his scar, despite being enemies.

Now why do I point out Mai being concerned for Zuko’s safety or Mai listening to Zuko when he talks - despite you considering it to be “low bars?” Because time and time again - this is how anti Maiko/pro Zutaras characterize Mai. They conveniently ignore the times where she a) actually listens to Zuko instead of shutting him down or b) shows genuine care for him or his safety. Let’s make something else clear here. It might be a low bar for Aang, or Katara, or Suki - all of which are characters who have loving parents, mostly happy families, and were loved or cared for by their community. Mai - like Zuko, Azula, or Ty Lee - did not have that. She had a mom who shut her down instead of allowing her to express her emotions. She had to put on a facade of apathy and not caring for anything or anyone because she was conditioned to behave or face the consequences - both by her parents and Azula. In the same way Azula fans especially cherish and mention moments where she expresses empathy - even though it’s a low bar for any other character- we do for Mai because it represents growing from her past instead of regressing back to coping mechanisms.

I have again wrote another meta where Mai learns how to cope with others emotions from her mom. In the same way her mom shuts her down when Mai explains “her life story” she does the same thing to Zuko. There’s no denying that. But to characterize her WHOLE arc or her WHOLE relationship based on her actions in the beginning instead of how she learns and grows in the end. It’s like taking the fact that Zuko called Katara a “water peasant” at the beginning of the show and saying Zuko never changed or their relationship never changed from the beginning. It’s discounting the times where Mai ASKS Zuko for his life story “Yeah Zuko who are you really angry at?” Or “How did the war meeting go?” And sits there and listens to it. Yes the scenes are cut off - but not because Mai cuts Zuko off or shuts him down. So to say that -“it was enough to convince Zuko that he couldn’t confide in her in person about his realization that he needed to leave and join the Avatar and restore honor to the Fire Nation” is in direct contradiction to when he says “I’m angry at myself because I don’t know the difference from right or wrong” and “I was the perfect prince but I wasn’t me” or “Im doing this to save my country” where Zuko DOES confide in her in person ABOUT his realization. He attempts to reason with her because some core aspect of him believes he can confide in her. Also the last thing Mai does in the Boiling Rock is turn her head. For me it shows she’s frustrated, but yeah, I don’t see her refusing to listen to him. But I guess THATS up to interpretation? Lol?

But does Mai really understand why Zuko did what he did?

Let’s see - she puts her own life on the line and risks facing the wrath of Azula to ensure Zuko and his friends arrive safely. Straight from your words - Why would she stand up to Azula unless she had a realization that Zuko’s life and mission were more important than selfishly clinging to her relationship with him?

But she did that just to save his life! She still doesn’t understand his values or his mission!

Yet when Zuko returns to the fire nation - Mai helps him get dressed. She’s not angry that he dumped her to run off with his friends. She knows that he had to do that because it was the right thing to do and his destiny. That’s why when Zuko asks Mai “does this mean you don’t hate me anymore” Mai answers “It means I actually kind of like you.” If she didn’t understand why he did what he did and that he truly never meant to hurt her and that this mission was more important than his own life - why would she reconcile with him at the end? The answer is right there - and you yourself said it.

Both Mai and Zuko, along with every other character in the series, had to sacrifice something personally for the greater good.

But she demands Zuko stay in a relationship with her!

And the inevitable next step - which is Mai “was abusing Zuko and threatening him into staying with her.” Cracks knuckles.

The difference between one statement and an actual, credible threat is intent. The viewer needs to critically think at junctions like these and determine authoral and character intent.

Throughout the season, we never see Mai control or demand Zuko into staying in a relationship with her. Her intent is not to make and force Zuko into being her boyfriend. The evidence?

1. During The Beach - Mai breaks up with Zuko when he’s acting like an ass. She is willing to walk away from a relationship. She doesn’t force herself to stay or for Zuko to stay.

2. At The Boiling Rock, Mai is willing to die for Zuko to live. She betrays Azula - knowing that it means Zuko makes it safely and she’ll face death. Mai made This decision knowing she couldn’t be in a relationship with Zuko or that they would be together after that.

Not once do I see in any of Mai’s actions or interactions an attempt to control or possess or force Zuko into staying with her. To be frank, I see it in Zuko given his actions on The Beach and also how he literally orders Mai to stay in the comics (that’s beside the point).

But I’m not someone to say how a character should feel about something they interpret as potentially abusive or threatening - cause most times it’s a reflection of their own personal history. But I’m simply describing what the authors intended, what 99% of the people who watched the show saw, and what Mai and Zuko fans see. I think @attackfish did a really great job explaining this here:

“she clearly expects to die for it. Again, there is no vindictiveness here, no attempt to punish Zuko for leaving her, in spite of the fact that she is obviously hurt. Instead she performs an act of profound love and sacrifice.”

“And this is why her joke in the finale works, because when she tells Zuko “Don’t ever break up with me again,” she is reminding him, and the audience of the last time he did, when she “sav[ed] the jerk who dumped [her].” Zuko, it’s also clear understands the joke for what it is, since after giving her a nervous, guilty, little smile, he relaxes happily into her arms.”

both of the times Zuko left her - he put his own life at risk. And given that Mai cares about Zuko’s safety and has quite literally saved his life - this means that she doesn’t want him to die again but if he were to put himself in a compromising position (she would begrudgingly save his life, again).

The real reason why he left her - someone who we see disobey Azula and joins random missions for fun is because in CANON he says he does it to protect her.

“Everyone in the fire nation thinks I’m a traitor. I couldn’t drag her into it.”

Above all, Zuko loves Mai. He wants to protect her. And if it meant protecting her physically but hurting her emotionally in order to save her from Azula’s wrath - he does it. But little does he know that Mai is willing to face the consequences of being a traitor to protect Zuko. That’s why I love Maiko everyone.

Now that most of the exposition is done, here are bullet proof points to refute the rest of your arguments:

1. “Zuko doesn’t pick up on this because he’s desperate for his father’s approval, but he will after the meeting. Mai doesn’t pick up on it because she doesn’t really know Zuko or his inner turmoil, nor does she really understand the depth of how evil the Fire Nation really is.”

Zuko HIMSELF doesn’t know the depth or extent of his inner turmoil at this point. Mai understands that he’s feeling confused and angry, Zuko understands that he’s feeling confused and angry, yet neither of them fully know or have the solution to assuage his problems. He comes to this realization at the end of the episode. Mai understands that Zuko is an emotionally complex teenager who was raised in a less than loving environment. He’s experiencing difficulties right now and moral and emotional conflict - she doesn’t understand the full extent of it, but neither does Zuko:

Because I'm confused. Because I'm not sure I know the difference between right and wrong anymore.

So what does she do in the mean time? She listens to him - an effective and safe sound board for him to come to terms with his emotions, tries to rationalize with him, and when that doesn’t work a provides him company, and trusts him and believes him.

2. “Nor do I think she really understands the very real danger he is in, otherwise she wouldn’t be happy when Zuko does go to the meeting, knowing what happened to him the last time he attended one. Because Zuko is not safe any time Ozai has access to him.”

Except wouldn’t Zuko also face the consequences of refusing to attend a war meeting he was specifically asked to attend by his abusive and overwhelmingly powerful? ISNT that why Mai waits outside of the war meeting the whole time so she can ensure that Ozai didn’t do anything to Zuko, moreover that Zuko wasn’t harmed - unlike the last war meeting he attended?

3. “How did she hold him accountable? By deciding that she cares about him after he internalizes his anger and the conversation is over?”

Right here:

Zuko [Side-view of Mai.] My life hasn't been that easy either, Mai.

Mai Whatever. That doesn't excuse the way you've been acting.

And Shit on Bryke as much as you want but they do an incredible and powerful job of conveying something that all children need to hear:

And that's a great line [Laughs.] from Mai. [Katie laughs.] Like she's, she's like she knows, [Katie affirms.] you know, [Katie gives affirming murmurs intermittently.] she knows, she's li-Z-Zuko her-her whole life, she knows his life's been intense, but, that's a good line that it doesn't excuse the way you've been acting, and at a certain point everyone has to take responsibility for... the choices they're making and rise above the things that happen to them. And, you know, that's, everybody's dealt a different deck of cards, but that's the-ultimately the challenge, is can you... rise above your sit-your situation, and-and kind of solidify your own identity.

4. “Morality and redeemable actions, as it happens, absolutely are two of those conditions that love depends on. if person you love doesn’t have morals that align to yours and doesn’t have redeeming qualities in your eyes, then there’s nothing to base the relationship on”

I concede - I could have done a better job explaining this. So I’m going to explain what I was referencing here.

For Zuko and Katara - morality and redeemable actions are the ONLY pillars on which a relationship would work. Katara makes this very clear when she makes a tangible (and extremely well justified) threat to Zuko:

“So let me tell you something right now... you make one step backward, one slip up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore, because I will make sure your destiny ends... right then and there... permanently.”

Conditional in the sense Zuko had to prove himself worthy to Katara - and Katara only fucks with Zuko as long as he doesn’t hurt Aang and pays for his actions. A relationship solely condition on morality and redeemable actions. Because if Zuko were to ever hurt Aang in the future even after the show ended- there would be no relationship between him and Katara. And if Zuko never redeemed himself for his actions - there would never be a relationship between him and Katara.

Sure all relationships require people to be morally aligned and have redeemable qualities - but if those are the ONLY pillars for the core of your relationship - it’s a much more tenuous bedrock - not even bedrock actually- for a solid relationship. Something to consider before launching into dissertations about why the canon relationships won’t work.

Oof my fingers are tired. Also I’m tired. Of explaining why Mai fulfills Zuko’s needs yadayadayada. My next post will be about how Zuko fulfills Mai’s needs. Cause let’s make this shit equal.

#mai #zuko #avatar the last airbender #atla #atla maiko #maiko #pro maiko #ANTI #anti zutara #I #MEAN IT #indefenseofmaiandmaiko #maikoforeverbitches

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