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septicmomma · 1 year

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THE KERBLAM CONUNDRUM

The main idea behind Kerblam, other than a general condemnation of ecoterrorism is that businesses have to go beyond doing just the bare minimum to placate its workforce. Is a tool inherently evil or is it the bearers of those tools that use them that way? Almost every issue originates from a parasocial system engrained within a society of space corporatocracy, driven by an over-reliance on the system. Even going so far as giving the automated system the capacity to develop an emotional amoral compass. And thats the fundamental problem...You cant assign a moral value to a system (at least not in the way how we can emotionally convey as people), but you can assign a moral value to individuals that comprise that system. So the question becomes are people producing morals separate from greed and egoism ?, which represents one of main conflicts in the episode (Charlie vs 'the system')

Throughout Kerblam it's telling us that automation as a principle isn’t inherently malicious, it’s okay to let machines in on your business so long as you don’t start treating people like spare parts.

What prevents capitalism from making a good society are the values that are currently upheld. It’s easy to say “capitalism bad” but it’s not that simple. Any system is bad if the values within it are bad Communism, socialism, none of these systems work if they have bad leadership and/or corrupt values.

If capitalist values changed and the wealth generated by it actually went back into the system to improve it, we could solve all sorts of problems. Billionaires taxed fairly could solve homelessness, improve accessibility, fund diversity and climate change initiatives, address poverty, and generally lead towards better lives for all without losing the innovation culture which leads to that wealth, and with better values we could cultivate ways to deal with all the crises we’re facing. As long as people had the money to do so held good intensions.

The most common criticism surrounding this episode is that 'it presents capitalistic systems of power as inherently good, and anyone critical of it or who desires to change the system, are violent and inherently irrational'.

Which is an argument has never made much sense to me. We see a clear distinction between the AI system of Kerblam and the system of Capitalism. Kerblam has a union, something the likes of Amazon doesn’t have. There's Judy's who's whole job is based around maintaining safety and worker moral. You also have Slade, noting down the numerous 'disappearances' hence his own distrust of the system.

Kerblam explores what corrupts a system, whether it's the people outside or within, or whether it's simply a result of centuries of capitalism being cemented at the core of our current climate.

The Kerblam men act as allegories for overbearing busybodies. “grouploops" Serve as house arrest ankle monitors.

Everything wrong with Kerblam's treatment of it's workers stems from the automated system, which originates from the capitalist society on Kandoka.

The problem is the system model it follows, a system that prioritises automation In pursuance of higher profit and efficiency, lower-class workers are being phased out by robotics and A.I, over people getting jobs at the price of living. 'The system' itself isn't evil, rather it made an informed decision without concern wether the behaviour in of itself was morally inscrutable. A system that Slade and Judy intend to break away from as shown by the ending.

There are deliberate parallels drawn between Charlie and the system. Both prone to violent outbursts, share a firm belief that the ends justify the means. Those traits are habitually inhabited in response of Charlie's discourse. Ironically, this is is something he refuses to see in himself, due to his own reckless abandon, the consequential outcome resulting in the death of Kira. His motivations weren't out of trying make conditions better, it was an elaborate act of vengeance under the facade of justice, outrage for the sake of outrage, as Charlie's desire for a 'better world' was going to result in the death over a multitude of people regardless of their political affiliations. His argument on how Kerblam undervalues its workers and that the system needs less control, so people are seen with more empathy and emotion in order for things improve; Is a valid concern but becomes completely antithetical as he was already murdering his own co-workers prior to being discovered. Workers who very much contribute to that “90%” he claims to be so fiercely in favour of defending, hence the Kerblam AI killing Kira in order to help him feel that same empathy which the Doctor reiterates to him the pain he feels over Kira's death is the same pain those families would feel if he continues down his current trajectory. 13 tries to motivate him into refocusing his love for Kira in an attempt to show him the ramifications of his violent actions and lead him into becoming more empathetic, but he’s just too stubborn and distort to see reason. It’s a sad possibility had Kira survived Charlie may have been more subject to reason however, her death acts a breaking point as his only emotional anchor is now gone...He let his own personal vindication override his original mission statement, rather than enact any real change that would actually allow people in his position to beneficially prosper.

To me, the moment where Kerblam truly muddies the waters is where it concludes with the company suspending the operations for a mere month and workers are only given 2 weeks paid leave?? as a result it leaves those aspect feeling slightly glossed over and hangs a pretty limp celebration over the episode considering multiple employees were murdered by an ecoterrorist who almost got away with even MORE murder...

Kerblam sets itself up as a criticism of late-stage capitalism but the only issue that is ultimately addressed by the ending is automation. which is a problem but it’s more so the timely result of these systems flaws and how they have historically been exploited. However, those underlying issues aren’t really dwelled upon, or at least they don’t factor in with the episode's ending discussion as we don't see what results from the proceeding fallout.

#13th doctor #doctor who #kerblam!#controversial #doctor who series 11 #new who

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chainsawselfships · 7 months

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I'm so curious about Tuco's hacker lapdog plsss tell me about him 🤲

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL REVEAL MY HALF-BAKED BACKSTORY (<- guy who writes smut and poetry, not plot.)

This ended up... so long somehow. I was worried that I wouldn't have much to say, but it just started pouring out of me as soon as I started typing (much of it made up on the spot 👍🏻)

Tw for violence, abuse, dubcon, and drugs (obviously lol.) I can have a dark self ship. As a treat.

I'm tentatively trying out giving my S/I a name that isn't my irl one. For whatever reason I just cannot use a name that doesn't have some connection to my irl one, so it had to start with a T at least, and hopefully this isn't weird but I wanted it to have a similar meaning to Rivera (ignore me feeding our red string of fate into our self ship canon) so I ended up on Trent!

I haven't really landed on a surname for him but I'll probably just go with something common and simple. I like how Trent Adams sounds.

Trent was born in WA in 1980, making him 22 at the beginning of B/CS and 28 at the beginning of B/rBa, although he didn't start working for Tuco until 2003 when he was 23.

Growing up, he was fascinated by media depictions of hacking, and when he was a teenager an older friend-of-a-friend (Doug) took him under his wing and taught him coding/hacking.

As an adult, Trent had trouble keeping a job and as a result borrowed quite a bit of money from Doug over the years. His debt piled up but Doug accepted small payments and Trent working odd jobs for him. Doug moved to NM in 2002 for a mysterious "job opportunity" that he wouldn't tell Trent about.

In early 2003, Doug called Trent and begged him to let him bring him to ABQ and do some work for his boss. As it turned out, Doug had been dealing for Tuco Salamanca while he'd been living in NM and he fucked up bad by getting mugged while carrying a huge amount of cash. He didn't have any way to pay Tuco back quickly enough, so in a fit of desperation he offered up Trent's services, as Trent still owed him a lot of money, so both of their debts could be squared off at once.

Tuco initially had no interest in some random guy who had no experience in the business, but Doug talked up the usefulness of having someone with hacking experience. Now, we know that Tuco can be swayed it you know how to talk to him, so he got into the idea of having his own personal hacker (not that he knew what that really means or entails as he's pretty much computer illiterate, but he likes stuff that sounds cool) and accepted Doug's offer of having Trent come work for him for free.

Doug drove all the way to WA to pick Trent up and gave him the rundown (much to his horror) during the drive back to ABQ about who Tuco is and what kind of business he deals in. He advised Trent to keep his mouth shut as much as possible and stay out of the way when Tuco's temper flared up. Naturally, Trent wanted to back out of the whole thing, but he didn't want his friend (who had helped him so much over the years) to get hurt, or potentially killed, plus the idea of squaring his debt was appealing, so he went along with it.

When Tuco and Trent met for the first time, Tuco literally laughed in his face and made fun of his stature and appearance. He obviously didn't take Trent seriously at all. Trent was offended, but too intimidated to say anything (<- which of course is a good thing as there's a good chance that Tuco would have just killed him.)

Doug put Trent up in a motel (as this whole thing was supposed to be a temporary arrangement), but Trent ended up at Tuco's place pretty much every day, as he needed a computer to work on, which Tuco provided. This had the added benefit (for Tuco at least) of letting him keep on eye on Trent.

Tuco started making passes as Trent pretty quickly, but Trent isn't great at reading social cues (he also assumed that Tuco was straight) so he kept brushing it off (but not actually turning Tuco down as he didn't realize there was an offer in the first place.) This pissed Tuco off as he felt as if he was being teased or possibly made fun of and in true Tuco fashion he flipped out. After shoving Trent into a wall, putting his knife to his throat, and accusing him of fucking with him, Tuco realized that Trent was genuinely unaware of how he'd been coming across. He found it pretty funny, and made his advances much more obvious and aggressive after that.

The beginning of their sexual relationship's consensuality was... questionable at best. Trent of course was terrified of Tuco, was his direct subordinate, and had gotten a sense of "no one says no to a Salamanca." He did find Tuco physically attractive from the first day they met, but he never had any intention of pursuing anything past a professional relationship (and he didn't even really choose that.)

Nacho got a sense of what was going on between Tuco and Trent pretty much immediately and took pity on Trent. He told him that it was for the best, as the more Tuco liked him the safer he'd be from his random violent outbursts, and the more protection he'd have from outside parties (this might seem like a cold way to comfort someone, but this was before they became friends, when Nacho viewed Trent as just another person he had to corral to keep business running smooth.)

Tuco saw Trent's presence and work very much as just a novelty for the first couple of months. Only after Trent crashed the fledgling computer network of a major competitor did Tuco realize that Trent could actually be useful to his business. This made him like Trent on a more serious level and start to want to get to know him for real. This and another incident where Tuco almost killed him (beat and strangled him while high, Tuco felt guilty about it when he sobered up) made him realize that he was actually becoming genuinely fond of him and he ended up going to Nacho for advice on how to make Trent less scared of him.

Somewhere around that time, (do I have an actual timeline worked out to make this story more clear? Hell no!) Tuco moved Trent into his house (under the guise of "keeping an eye on him", when in actuality he was beginning to feel deeply possessive over him, and let's be real, he wanted easy sexual access.)

Their relationship is (and was to an even higher extent during the beginning) closer to owner-and-pet than an equal romantic partnership. Tuco views Trent as more of a thing that he owns than a person who works for him. Tuco was, and is, extremely possessive and jealous over Trent. He's frustrated by his inability to publicly "claim" Trent due to being unable to be openly bi and struggles with letting Trent be alone with other men (Nacho and his cousins are the exception to this.)

Over time their relationship became sort of an open secret as Tuco insists on keeping Trent close even when there's no business-related reason for it, dressing Trent up how he likes (very expensive and gaudy, the complete opposite of how Trent naturally dresses), and becoming enraged any time someone insults or snubs Trent in any way. The people around them started catching on pretty quickly, but generally know better than to bring it up.

Tuco was/is very afraid of Trent betraying him (whether it be cheating on him or something to do with business) and once Lalo entered the picture, he asked him to keep an eye on Trent and report back anything suspicious.

Tuco made it crystal clear from the beginning that he would kill Trent if he tried to run or betray him, so Trent really has no intention of doing so. That doesn't stop Tuco from making him swear that he'll never betray him and that he belongs totally to him pretty much every day. No one has ever claimed that Tuco isn't exhausted to deal with, least of all Trent :^P

Alright, this is way too long. I could talk about Trent and Tuco's fucked up relationship for a year straight if you let me :^P And that's not even getting into his relatively normal friendships with Nacho, Domingo, and Rivera, and his mutually suspicious, tentative friendship/cousin-in-law-ish-thing with Lalo and the twins.

#THERE WE GO. PROPER AND FLESHED OUT S/I. SORT OF.#the usefulness of hacking in canon is. extremely questionable. as well as my knowledge of early 2000s computers and hacking practices :^P #BUT I find the thought of a bunch of rival meth dealers getting fucked over by some rando with a computer really funny. so here we are.#🥊🚬#asks

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anthonybialy · 1 year

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Pain by Perspective

It’s easier to measure what didn’t happen than it is to make enough to buy rations and shelter. Inflation cruelly decided to inflict itself randomly just as Joe Biden got his chance to bring universal joy. An indifferent result is a partisan hack. Money becomes increasingly worthless with every sentence. Noting how much energy costs becomes obsolete faster than can be typed.

Proving a negative may seem impossible. But withstanding endless negative outcomes makes the contrast sadly recognizable. Victims miss the relatively carefree days when earning income was the day’s biggest pain. Alleged wage slaves never thought they’d yearn for completing enough tasks to afford basic needs. The case for how much life particularly sucks is presently easier with countless examples of how things were nicer way back three years ago.

It’s possible to know what blessings we possess even if we’re accustomed to cushiness. Eternal gripers just have to be grateful for what things and concepts are presently present. That leaves out liberals, who are sure that stupid freedom and cruel free exchange cause the entirety of misery.

Little treats becoming unobtainable luxuries has made the universally deprived miss the benefits we enjoyed without realizing it. Biden taught us to be more human by confiscating simple pleasures.

Seeing what happens when what’s working is discarded makes society feel unemployed. It’s easy to sense how life has gotten woeful if anyone needed the perspective of pain. All it took to make us beg for ordinary irritations was the incumbent getting what he wants.

Crime is treated like a problem of bitching victims if you wonder where the last of your stuff went. Cracking down on wrongdoers seems so elitist. It’s better to blame everyone else. A victim isn’t about to seek revenge like some misunderstood felon.

The ability to flee truly hurts the social justice effort to end crime through understanding. Companies don’t feel like doing business in places where fiends can steal at will just like residents look to move to jurisdictions where potential muggers know they face arrest or a barrel.

The economy works best when everyone is allowed to work without getting punished for it, noted the person visiting Earth for the second day. The same aspect that makes free markets amazing becomes apparent once meddlesome hands replace the invisible one. It’s only when pushy presidents decide there’s not enough wealth or that people who don’t donate to him have too much of it.

Free is the most costly price. Village elder and idiot Joe Biden attempted to get away with the oldest vain attempt to scheme, namely trying to get something for nothing. Those he sees as subjects got plenty of the latter.

The attempt to get rewarded without creating value has defined Biden’s life. Worst of all, he figured everyone else is also a grifter who relies on parasitic preying. Him getting away with it inflicted tremendous loss on a once-productive nation.

Printing money somehow didn’t make everyone rich. Presses can’t keep pace fast enough to enable affording opulent groceries. Food is today’s equivalent to yachts.

Feeling the urge to infringe is bad enough. The fact it’s always those least qualified to interfere in the work of the productive just spreads flames. Opening the oven door then wondering why the cake doesn’t rise is the culinary approach of present cabinet secretaries. Shoppers can’t afford extravagances like flour and eggs.

International turmoil becoming normal might feel calm. Growing accustomed to marching invaders ruining your flower beds is the best hope for dealing. Being mean to villains doesn’t cause them to be naughty, enemies of understanding are surprised to learn. It’s almost like evil’s existence isn’t the fault of the virtuous, which is news to very proud Americans who presume America is the worst.

Global dirtbags got what they wanted, namely a president who’ll back down like it’s his job description. Scoundrels forgetting to set the parking brakes on tanks or to set centrifuges on sleep mode are just something that’s part of life if you let oafs chart its course.

The measures interdictors claim caused agony prevented it. Sufferers are not exactly smirking at appreciation of irony. It’s tough to giggle while worried that the last of your material goods is about to be stolen. Police were serving as a barrier against involuntary donations, which is why Democrats think they’re government’s only bad part.

Blaming those enduring doesn’t assuage. Guarding against nefariousness was the prevention instead of the cause in case very smart liberals outthought themselves again. The simple act of trading what we have for what we want benefits both parties. Nobody’s partying right now.

I wish there were a better way to know what it’s like to not ache. Imagination should be sufficient. Living through deprivation is helpful to those struggling to picture how well life functioned before those who pretended everything was awful decided to initiate unneeded repairs.

Philosophers who think there’s no certain way to know what good is without bad are in luck, sort of. We can tell what was working by comparison to how everything’s broken now. Blame capitalism for the results of constant interference with that very process. Nostalgia is the only thing functioning.

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sublimecatgalaxy · 2 years

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Truth or Dare- Part 1

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Jacobs!Reader

Summary: An introduction to the reader and the people around her. It really introduces her family and how she views them, along with her friends. An unexpected person enters the readers life at the end.

Song: "The Scientist" by Coldplay

Warnings: Cliffhanger, I know you guys hate me already. Swearing, mentions of sex, Nate Jacobs, and mentions of abuse.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: Hi guys! So in this I do a bit off the original story line with the Jacob's family. I'm really looking forward to this series and I think you guys will really like it. ALSO THIS IDEA WAS BROUGHT TO YOU GUYS FROM @apovanity87 She is a genius, go give her a follow❤️Also I'm so disappointed in the reviews for tonights episode like.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I absolutely hate my family.

I get that sounds morbid and makes me seem, like, the worst person in the universe because family is supposed to be first and foremost thing in your life, right?

Wrong. So wrong. Out of this fucking world wrong.

The stereotypes, the lessons, the expectations, all suffocating. My family is suffocating. They’ve been like this since I was a child. My father would demand the most from me, my small frame in the shadows of my older, more successful siblings. Plain and simple. I knew that when people looked at us, they saw success, money, greatness. They looked at us like we were family of the year, like we had all of our shit together.

I’m sorry, if you can look at my family, like actually look at them, you’d realize we are the furthest from having our shit together. We were falling apart at the seams and have been for years and years. Practically my whole life.

People forget that we didn’t always live like we live now. Our big house, the cars, the closets full of high end clothes. My dad wasn’t always successful in his business and I wasn’t always this privileged. We used to live in a small house in the middle of a bad neighborhood. My mother would worry every day that I would get hurt just walking down the street to the corner store. We lived a few hours away from where we live now, but it’s amazing how much difference a few hours can make. The difference in people, experiences, schools. My dad’s business never flourished there so in middle school, we moved to our beautiful town and made our mark. Well, my dad did. The rest of us just watched and went where he did.

My brothers are meatheads who have zero personality that’s their own, their eyes conveying zero emotion at all times. Like robots, honestly. Thankfully, I only ever have to deal with one of them at a time, my eldest brother away with his own screwed up family.

He was my dad's twin. He got a girl pregnant at a young age, when I was still fairly young, became a shitty excuse for a dad to two beautiful, innocent children and then proceeded to see none of us on holidays. We got a yearly Christmas card and the kids looked like they had a gun to their heads. From what I saw, he treated his children just like my dad treated us. Like he was a drill sergeant and his kids were these little soldiers he could teach to be just like him. Just like our dad. I’ve only met his wife once and I could tell that she was uncomfortable with her situation with my brother. His drinking, his anger. Just like my dad and just like Nate. He was unapologetically him but he should’ve been apologizing. Quite frankly, no one liked him and he should have to apologize every time he opens his stupid mouth.

The two of them, my brothers, have no tears to cry, no smiles to be shared, and they are master manipulators. They have been for the longest time and it was something that I did not fuck with. I’ve always hated when they use people for their own gain; picking up people like they were chess pieces, moving them where they see fit. And what’s messed up is a lot of people just let them do it, just happy to have the attention of one of the Jacobs’. But it was a learned ability that my brothers picked up on throughout the years. How they turned out so fucked up is beyond me still. Some of its nature, sure, some of it’s nurture. But shouldn’t being a goddamn human with emotions kind of be in our genetic wiring?

I guess not.

My father is an even bigger meathead. Maybe ‘alpha male’, ‘head of household’ were better terms to use for him. He likes cooking complicated meals, having us all sit down together as a ‘family’, praising and validating the meal he cooked. He likes football, ingraining this toxic masculinity into his sons, and his favorite; ignoring his daughter since she hit puberty. He has this fucked up thing with women. He barely likes my mother and I think he hates me for the fact that I’m so much like her. He wishes he could manipulate me in the way he did my brothers because, if he could, I would be this unstoppable force for him to use to get what he wants.

And I would. That’s not that far off. But I don’t like giving him a simple hug goodnight let alone giving him any sort of power over me.

Like I said, my mom is fine, truly, she’s alright. She doesn’t do a lot, doesn’t speak up much. It’s not that she doesn’t have anything to say, it’s just that she’s always been afraid to say what’s on her mind. I can’t blame her. She’s married to my father, the infamous Cal Jacobs. She really just likes to stay home, her eyes glued to a book. Or sometimes she likes to bury herself in cleaning supplies, making sure the house is spotless for when my dad and brother come home from football practice. She likes to wait for me to come home from school, waiting with popcorn so we can watch shows like the Bachelorette or any reality TV show. We liked those shows because they make us feel like our lives are a little less weird, a little less phony or staged. She’s the only one in my family who feels like an actual family member. The rest of them are just robots or some social experiment gone wrong.

Regardless of the copious amounts of trauma and fucked up, hidden secrets in my family, I had a decent life. I was never beaten as a kid, though I’m sure you can count my dad as some form of walking emotional abuse. I’ve always gotten good grades and I’m a cheerleader. What more can a girl need? I have plenty of friends, all fucked in their own way and all varying on the scale of popularity. All of the time that I don’t spend at home, I love. Because I’m free to do what I want, whenever I want.

“Are you listening to me or are you just staring into space again like a lunatic?” Maddy’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts, my gaze turning to look at her as she waits. “You’re such a weirdo, Y/n. You weren’t even listening, fuck, okay. So, you need to tell your fucked up in the head brother to return my calls. He’s been MIA for three days now.” Maddy fixes her makeup in the bathroom mirror, my arms hoisting me onto the counter next to her.

Maddy’s been my best friend since middle school.

She used to be a whole lot nicer that she is now, but maybe that’s because every year that goes by, she gives less of a fuck than the year prior. She’s wanted to be royalty since we were little. She was always the one with the crown when we played, the mom when we played house, the princess, but now she was the queen. The queen of our high school at least and my brother has been her king for a while. Maybe a bit too long. Though I disagreed with their relationship, it being fucked, dark and miserable since day one, I could tell that without him, she sufferred. They had this weird trauma bond that always drew them back to each other and as stupid as it was for Maddy to put herself through heartbreak every week, they were more in love than my parents ever would be. At least they had passion.

“I’m not his keeper, girl. I don’t know why you don’t just break into my house and find him yourself. You literally have a key.” I deadpan, my head tilting at her as she points her mascara wand at me. “You know I’m right, Mads.” I snort, my legs swinging in front of me as I wait for a potentially snarky reply. It was safe to assume that any word that left her mouth was going to be an inch away from bitchy.

“I don’t want him to think I’m some desperate, crazed bitch.” She gives her half assed explanation with an eye roll, a scoff leaving my lips at the absurdity of her words.

“You are a crazed bitch. I wouldn’t love you nearly as much if you weren’t.” I giggle, a smirk breaking out across Maddy’s lips as she nods knowingly at me. She knows that one of the things I admire most about her was her ‘can do’ attitude and the fact that she didn’t care about what people thought of her. She was her own individual and she didn’t care who liked her and who didn’t. She rubbed off on me in a good way with that belief system. She helped me become way less self conscious and feel better about my overall self; body and mind.

She could make you feel great about yourself when she wanted to.

She typically didn’t like to make people feel good. But I was an exception.

“Whatever. I’ll figure it out.” Maddy huffs, the bell above us ringing as she thwacks my thigh. “Later bitch, I’ll text you.” She sends me a wink before picking up her things off of the counter. I watch her with a smile as she takes one last look at herself in the mirror, fixing her hair, before leaving.

I huff, hopping down from the counter as I look at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t Maddy. I didn’t have her confidence, her looks, her sense of superiority. I was average if anything, or at least that’s how I always viewed myself. I had good bone structure and room for potential, I was a Jacobs afterall.

Gathering my things, I brush my hair out of my face as I exit the now bustling bathroom. It gets its busiest between classes, obviously, so Maddy and I use our joint free periods to reconvene and relax. Instead of using a free room, we choose to look at ourselves in the mirror and compare tits. It’s honestly cathartic.

Stepping out into the hallway, my eyes look around for someone else that I can latch onto. One thing I hated about Maddy and her obsession with not being late to class was the fact that I was alone without her. So I also try my best to find someone else that I can walk and talk with. And today’s victim will be…

“Hey, I need you to come with me!” Whipping around, my question answers itself with Jules who stands behind me, her eyes full of tears. My heart pounds at the sight, immediately reaching out to take her hands in mine as kids rush past us.

Jules has been my friend since she moved here last year. Fezco liked to say that she looked like she just walked out of an anime, which was accurate, I’m not gonna lie. She was beautiful, strong, and she was unapologetically her. She still is. She’s always honest, she’s always prepared to go to war for whoever she loves, and she was always a good person to stay with when my family is unbearable. She was a better friend and person than Maddy was, more supportive, less robotic. She had a complicated love life, a history with older men kind of stunted her ability to love someone normally, but her relationship with Rue is something that seems to inspire me.

Her love for that girl is unfathomable to me.

Rue was another one of my friends. She’s probably my brother Nate’s least favorite friend of mine. He’d rather me be best friends with his slightly psychotic girlfriends than for me to hang out with Rue. I don’t know, sometimes I like to think that he’s just being a protective older brother, worried that Rue’s drug issue might lead me down a bad path. But I think the real reason was that Rue had shit on Nate and it was something that Nate didn’t want to get out. I was friends with her nonetheless, though I never asked about the things she knew about my family. I didn’t want to know what others thought of the rest of them, I’m embarrassed enough as it is.

“So, I’m being dramatic.” Jules sobs as she sits down on the bench outside. After she approached me and asked for my help, I followed her all the way outside to achieve privacy. I watch her, worried, as she sniffles and groans. “Rue has this new friend and he’s like kind of obsessed with her. I don’t know how she feels about him, and we just started being okay. He seems really great but- like, I don't know what to do.” She buries her face in her hands, my fingers gently combing through her hair as she cries. I gently take her into my arms, my mind spinning.

Rue wasn’t exactly the most clear about her sexuality. Not like Jules has been. Jules has been very open with her sexuality from the beginning and how she feels about the people around her. Though she wasn’t interested in men anymore, that doesn’t mean that Rue wasn't. She never specified. I just think that taking a deep trip into her sexuality wasn’t like Rue and even if Jules wanted her to be that way, she wasn’t. She liked who she liked and it didn’t really bother her. But I can tell by the freaked out look on Jules’ face that she doesn’t understand that mindset.

“I don’t think you’re being dramatic, Jules, but the first place your mind goes is to the worst case scenario.” I whisper, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she groans yet again. “And, you tend to run, instead of just asking Rue flat out.” I laugh quietly, her head nodding as she looks back up at me. She looks pathetic, her mascara traveling down her cheeks as she sniffles.

“I know, I just, she pretended not to know him and apparently he just moved here and I’m just worried…” She trails off, her eyes gazing down at her phone that has multiple unread texts from Rue. “I should talk to her, I know. She’s my girlfriend and I should just stop being so insecure and just-” She cuts herself off with a huff, looking down at her phone as it rings. “I’m sorry for bugging you with this. I’m sure you have class or your own stuff going on.” She whispers but I quickly shake my head, brushing away any of her concerns.

“I’m all ears, babes.” I whisper with a gentle shrug, watching as she nods gently, clearing her throat. “Let me know what happens, okay? Let me know if I need to intervene.” I giggle, a smile finally breaking through on her lips as she gives me a soft smile. She stands up, gently patting my head as she makes her way past me and back into the school. I pull my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees as I sigh. Now what?

Looking around, now bored out of my mind, I watch as my brother steps out of the school and into the courtyard. Fuck. Cursing under my breath, I look away, praying that he doesn’t see me and he doesn’t come over to me. I know that to all the people who have a normal, healthy relationship with their siblings, this might seem weird. Most siblings get in fights and go through periods of not liking each other, right? Yeah, sure. But Nate cannot stand me. He can’t stand my existence and he’s made it quite clear. We’ve gotten in fist fights, I broke his nose once, and one time he even went as far as yelling at my mom for getting pregnant with me. He hates me. So, the last thing I need is him coming over and getting in my business, even if that just meant asking me a question. We didn’t interact at home and we only interacted at school if we were forced to; it was for the best.

But, luck was not on my side and if there is a god, they’re not for me because the minute my brother sees me, he’s marching towards me. I can tell almost immediately that he's fed up about something. He always is. He’s always got a bitch baby face on, his eyebrows pulled together. Almost like a three year old who doesn’t get what they want. Tantrum is the right term.

“I need to talk to you.” He says simply when he approaches me, sitting down next to me on the bench. He tosses his bag to his side, his elbows resting on his knees as he shoves his face into his hands. Interesting… you need me?

“Do I have a sign written across my face that says ‘free therapy’? Because first your girlfriend, then Jules, and now you.” I chuckle, my eyes rolling as I stretch out my legs, leaning back in my seat to look at Nate. He looks distraught, the bags under his eyes bigger than normal. He was still recovering from the absolute beating he took on New Years, obviously obsetting Fezco, the friendly neighborhood drug dealer. He probably deserved it. Nate looks back at me with an unamused look, a huff leaving my lips at the sight. “We don’t talk Nate. Why ask me for help when you don’t care about anything that I have to say?” I ask, my eyebrows pulling together as he sighs loudly.

“Because, whether I like it or not, we both came from the same nut sack which makes you legally obligated to deal with my shit.” He shrugs simply with a small smile, a laugh actually coming out of my mouth at his words. Is that an olive branch I see? “Especially when it involves our dad.” My heart stops at the words, his face serious and jaw tight as I wait for him to go on. “I know we hate each other. I get that, but I need your help.” My head bobs at his words, sitting up straighter to be able to analyze him a bit better.

“Sure, yeah Nate, what’s up?” I ask cautiously, my head spinning in worry as he takes a deep breath but before he can speak, a soul crushing screech distracts him and knocks me off guard.

“Nate!” Maddy’s voice echoes throughout the area, his face falling as he rolls his eyes.

“Fuck. I’m in trouble.” He mutters, his gaze catching mine as I shake my head, stunned. “I’ll see you at home. I’ll tell you then.” He nods, patting me briefly on the shoulder before getting up to approach Maddy. I watch as her face lights up, her gaze flickering to me as she sends me a soft smile and a wave.

The rest of the day passed without any drama, the thought of what Nate has to tell me bugging me. He never, ever, seems that worried. Never did he seem worried enough to actually bring me in on something. The fact that he said it’s about our dad too freaks me out. What could he possibly have told me that I don’t already know? I knew our dad was a messed up man who had way too much power for his own good.

“Hey!” I throw a look over my shoulder at Jules who approaches me, Rue following her close behind. I look between the two as I shut my locker, my eyes squinted at Jules. She sends me a reassuring smile, almost telling me that they figured it out. Thank god. “Hey, so we want you to meet someone.” Jules smiles, reaching over to take Rue’s hand in hers.

“I honestly think you’ll like him more than us.” Rue chuckles quietly, her pupils blown and expressions tired. She’s high out of her mind right now, isn’t she? I nod with a smile, pulling the straps of my backpack tighter against my shoulders. “We texted him a minute ago. He’s a bit of an airhead so we gotta give him a minute.” Jules chuckles at her girlfriend's words, but my mind seems to be elsewhere, my brother's words making my stomach twist painfully.

“Hey, you okay?” Jules gently reaches out, placing a hand on my shoulder as I take a deep breath, nodding slowly, but the girls see right through me.

“My brother told me earlier that he needs to talk to me about something tonight.” I reply simply, both of the girls’ eyes widening in fear. “Yeah.” I scoff nervously, reaching up to rub my face as I try to put the ruminating thoughts to the back of my mind.

“Oh shit.” Rue chuckles quietly, shaking her head as her curls fall in her face. “I can’t even imagine how scared shitless you are. Like Nate is shit at talking, and he wants to talk to you?” Jules reaches over, gently slapping Rue on the chest as Rue hisses. “What?! I’m just saying what we’re literally all thinking.” Jules rolls her eyes with a small smile, my head bobbing in a nod.

“No, you’re right. I’m nervous.” I breath out a forced breath, shaking my head as I wave off their concern. “But anyways, a new friend and it’s a guy. That’s always good for me, right?” I giggle, Jules nodding excitedly. She must’ve had a really good heart to heart with Rue because, only hours ago, she was freaking out and panicking over this guy. Now she seemed like she was completely at bay about his presence in her girlfriend's life. He must be really fucking amazing for her insecurities to vanish as quickly as they did.

“Oh hey, there he is!” Jules cheers, looking past me as my head turns gently, my eyes looking for who they're pointing at. “He’s got bleached hair on top. It’s super cute.” She chuckles, but my eyes can’t find who they’re looking at.

Then it dawns on me. He looks almost familiar, his tall frame makes his way towards us, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Is that…

“Yo, Rue. Hey, what's going on?” The boy asks, bouncing on his feet as he grins, his eyes fluttering between the girls and then to me. Holy fucking shit. His brown eyes focus on me, his eyes blinking rapidly a few times in shock, realization passing through his face as he clears his throat.

“Y/n, this is Elliot, the guy we told you about.” Jules grins, wrapping her arm around mine as my heart drops, my throat constricting at the sight of his handsome smile. He’s changed a lot. His hair is a lot longer, he’s grown a few inches but his dumb, stupid smile is still the same, along with the beautiful color of his eyes. Fuck. He looks at me, the sound of my name making his eyebrows quirk up as his gaze gets stuck on mine. A few moments go by before he sticks his hand out with a polite smile, motioning for me to shake it but I can’t seem to move. Fight or flight, aye?

Does he not remember me?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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#elliot series #euphoria #euphoria series #elliot x reader #elliot euphoria

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Disappearance

Characters: Diluc, Razor, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,133

Warnings: Slightly claustrophobic

Premise: The line between small upsets and huge quarrels can be a blurred one, and it’s often difficult to cope with in the aftermath.

In which there is an argument and the reader disappears.

Author’s Note: Thank you for your request anon. I really cannot stay away from angst, and this was right up my alley. Poor characters, how I love to torture you.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write Razor, he isn’t in my list of characters I’m comfortable with. For one thing I find his broken speech quite difficult to deal with. I can’t tell if I find it irritating or not, or if it’s an example of good characterization or the “savage” stereotype a la Tarzan – sorry Tarzan I don’t like you. But I tried to make the effort and I hope it came out well! Though I still don’t feel quite comfortable with writing him. I hope I handled the dialogue well enough. He makes me think of San from Princess Mononoke.

Diluc

Diluc accelerated his pace as the Winery came into sight, his normally serene face breaking into a small smile.

It was the best time of day, the time when he came home, the time when he could finally see you. The two of you had been a couple for about five months, and though it wasn’t the longest of time, it was certainly the happiest Diluc had been, happier even than when he was a child with a family to call his own. You were his family now after all, something that you reminded him when he was in his darkest moods. You were his family now, and nothing could tear that apart.

“Welcome home.” Your voice was warm with happiness, and you threw your arms around Diluc the moment he came through the door. Diluc reciprocated the embrace and for a moment the two of you simply stood in the landing, the picture of perfect happiness.

“I’ve missed you, beloved.” Diluc whispered.

“I missed you too.” You replied, smiling softly. Your smile slipped however, and was instead replaced with an expression of worry. “You were gone so late tonight, I was unsure if something had happened to you. Really, I was about to go after you.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t.” Diluc replied, tone firm though not unkind. “We’ve talked about this before my love, if something were to happen to me, which it won’t,” he quickly added, seeing your gaze cloud over, “but if it did I wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger. I fight for you as much as anyone else in Monstadt, and for you to be injured or worse on my part, I’d never be able to forgive myself.”

“I know we discussed it and came to that conclusion.” Your words were slow, deliberate in tone. “But though I agreed to it then, I found tonight that I regretted it more than anything I might ever do. I cannot bear the idea of you somewhere near, hurt and crying out for help or worse…” you swallowed, unwilling to conjure the image to mind, “…I couldn’t bear thinking that you might be in a bad way and with no chance of rescue simply because I made a foolish promise. And while I was thinking about this all I came to the realization that I could never truly keep that promise. If you’re ever in need I will be there for you, no matter what. No matter what you said, what you think, it is the simple truth.”

“Please don’t do that.” Diluc replied, voice quickly becoming filled with emotion. “If there’s something out there that could hurt me like that, then how –” he paused, realizing his mistake, but you’d already caught it.

“How could I possibly defeat it?” You replied, a grimace replacing your smile. “You cannot treat me like glass Diluc. I’m an adventurer, a warrior in my own right. And I won’t be kept from saving the one I love the most, not when the only thing keeping me from it is his pride and a few words.”

The two of you said nothing more of it that night, but the argument hung in the air the next morning, continuing the awkwardness up until you left for your adventuring duties. Diluc did nothing to breach the gap. He was in the right after all. And besides, it was such a stupid little argument, barely one at that. In a day or two it’d be nothing, and then all would be well again.

This conclusion was sorely tested when you didn’t return to the Winery in the evening. As Diluc prepared himself for another night of patrol he began to worry slightly. Surely you weren’t avoiding him. About something so small? No, most likely you were simply late. You’d be there when he got home. If he was sure of anything he was sure of that.

Unfortunately Diluc was proven quite wrong. The doorway was empty at his arrival, you were nowhere to be found. A sinking feeling began to settle into his stomach, and Diluc found himself quite unable to sleep that night, instead tossing and turning this way and that, wondering if you were truly so angry over something that he’d seen as so small. It was the only logical explanation for your disappearance after all, though Diluc wasn’t sure what to do about it. Chasing after you seemed somewhat uncouth, and besides didn’t that always make things worse? No, he’d give you space, all the space you needed. If a week passed then he’d seek you out, but before then he’d let you be. No point in jeopardizing the relationship anymore than apparently he already had.

His promise to stay away for a week was nearly torn to shreds by the end of the next day. Were you truly so angry with him? How could he have hurt you so much? Diluc didn’t know what to do. During the day he tried to behave as always, keeping tabs on everything he could and busying himself as much as possible. At night, however, the feeling became more and more unbearable, and Diluc found sleep more fleeting than ever.

He kept replaying the argument, over and over again did he try to remember exactly what had happened. Was your tone of voice angrier than he thought? Was your expression darker? Had he been too curt, too dismissive, too demanding? What could’ve possibly caused you to simply disappear? It was unlike you; usually what arguments took place resulted in you trailing him more than anything else. Why was this so different? Turning onto his side once more Diluc closed his eyes. Tomorrow all would be well. Tomorrow you’d come back for sure.

You didn’t come back tomorrow, nor the day after that. Those days were some of the most anxious Diluc had felt since the immediate passing of his father. Work became unbearable, for words that one stood clearly on the page now swam before him, a sea of incomprehensible figures and symbols. Eating and sleeping too were utterly alien to him, and what those two days were mostly comprised of turned out to be him walking about in a stupor, too dazed and too worried to think about anything around him, anything other than you.

On the fourth day a knock came to his door, and with it came Katheryne of the Adventurer’s Guild. Her face was ashen, and she was fiddling with her hands. As Diluc gestured for her to sit down the anxiety that had been sitting in his stomach tangled itself into knots. What in the name of the Seven had happened?

“Master Diluc, we have some information, information involving your partner.”

“Yes?” Diluc’s voice was sharp and low, for he couldn’t bring himself to hide it. Collapsing into the opposite chair he tried to prepare himself for the worst, knowing that if you had left or, Seven forbid, been killed he’d never be able to move on.

“Well you see your partner, they went on an expedition, a commission rather. They were looking for bits of Noctilious Jade and Cor Lapis. Although these minerals are normally found in Liyue only there are a few reservoirs in Monstadt along the border of the two lands, specifically they can be found in certain caves behind the waterfalls that flood into the river. A merchant bought the rights to the land of one of those caves and, being a merchant, he couldn’t get it out himself, so we sent one of our own to mine it out for him, see if it was any good.”

“This is all quite fascinating,” Diluc replied, tone made sharp with worry, “but I can hardly see what this has to do with anything.”

“Your partner was the one selected. They went down to mine it but the entrance was the opening to a sharp drop and they fell down. We only managed to recover them this morning.”

The shock that ran through Diluc was something that he never wished to experience again. It seemed to pierce right through him, into the center of his heart. You’d been trapped. You’d been in need of help, stuck for days in the worst of possible situations, and he’d done nothing but loaf around the Winery. How could he forgive himself for something like that?

“May I see them.” He choked out, his throat constricted and burning.

“They are coming here right now. Thankfully injuries were minimal. Caves connected to water are the most dangerous kind, you can die and it can be impossible to retrieve your corpse. They were incredibly lucky.” And with that gruesome thought in mind Katheryne walked over to the door, opening it to reveal you.

Diluc had never moved so fast in his life. Instantly you were wrapped in his embrace. You returned the gesture just as fiercely, clinging on as if he was the only thing anchoring you, keeping you from collapsing from relief, from fatigue, from the terror that had yet to dissipate.

“Oh my love, oh I’m so sorry, so deeply sorry. Forgive me, forgive me for not being there. Forgive me.” Diluc whispered, practically incoherent. You were both shaking, and when you two collapsed in the chair closest to the fire there were no words for a good many moments. The terror you’d both felt was hardly over, and you both needed to be sure that this wasn’t a dream, that it was all over, and that you were going to be fine now.

“Diluc.” You finally whispered.

“Yes my love.” Diluc replied, a tremor still in his voice. You leaned into him, head perched on his shoulder, breath tickling his neck.

“I never want to quarrel again.”

Diluc reached over to cup your face. Raising your head slightly he leaned over, brushing his lips against yours, indulging in something he thought for a moment he might never be able to do again.

“Neither do I.” He replied, voice just as soft. “And remind me never to try to restrict you again, for if I’d not been such a fool I would’ve run to your side the very evening you were trapped.”

You smiled softly, expression conveying relief and tenderness and most of all love. Leaning in for another kiss you whispered something right before your mouth collided with his.

“I will follow you wherever you go.”

Razor

Sitting at the edge of one of Wolvedom’s many cliffs, eyes trailed towards the far away walls of Monstadt, Razor wondered if he might’ve been too harsh.

It wasn’t that Razor wanted to quarrel with you, I mean you were the first and only person that he’d managed to build a sincere connection with. It was only that he’d grown up with a complete distrust of humans, and as much as he tried to bury that aspect of himself it still came to the forefront at times.

“I don’t understand what you’re so angry about Razor?” You’d exclaimed, face twisting into an expression of annoyance.

“Why do you like them?” Razor had replied, gesturing towards the people who had arrived with you, trampling their way through the forest as if everything belonged to them simply because they were human. He could practical smell the arrogance wafting off them, and it made his hair stand on edge. It was frustrating that he didn’t have the words to convey that to you.

“My guild members?” You’d said, glancing over your shoulder. “Razor I work with them. We’re going on a trip.”

“I want them to leave.” He’d practically growled, moving to take your hand in his. “I want them to leave, I want you to stay.”

“Well you can’t do that Razor.” You’d said, tone growing more and more exasperated. “And I don’t understand why you’re so hostile to them.”

“They’re human.” To Razor this was enough, but evidently the answer was hardly satisfactory to you.

“I’m human.” You’d pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Razor shook his head.

“You’re different.”

“No, I’m not. You just like me. And like it or not I’m a human, and a human who has a job to do. I can’t stay here, and I can’t stop talking to all other humans.

“Why not?” He’d shot back. “It would be better. Humans are bad creatures.”

“You keep forgetting who I am!” You’d exclaimed, shaking your head. “Whatever, I’m not arguing this with you. I’ll see you in a day. I hope that you can think about my feelings by the time this is over.”

Well the day had come and gone and there was no sight of you. Razor was too angry though to feel much remorse, no matter how much he missed you. You were probably busy anyways, talking to other humans, fraternizing with the enemy. For what else could humans possibly be? They cut down trees, killed the inhabitants of the forests. Even the wolves weren’t safe, for what farmer hadn’t taken a shot at one of them at some point in his life? No, Razor was not the one in the wrong. You were just too used to them. You couldn’t see it.

Still your absence sat wrong with him, and he found himself scouring the edges of Wolvendom the next day, trying to figure out what had happened. It wasn’t as if you didn’t know what he thought after all. And surely you wouldn’t abandon him so quickly, surely.

Razor was hardly so sure when the sun went down the next night. It seemed you were well and truly gone, though where he couldn’t tell. Maybe you really had decided to abandon him, decided he was too much of a burden, decided you preferred humans anyways. The thought ate at him, and he found himself walking around with a bitter taste in his mouth, unsure what to do.

Razor wasn’t sure what finally caused him to cross out of Wolvendom to look for you. Perhaps it was anger, perhaps it was guilt, perhaps it was that he at least wanted to say goodbye. No matter the cause however he still found himself walking on an unfamiliar path, as the woods shifted to plains. He felt vulnerable, uncomfortable without his familiar family. But it was too late to turn back now, and so he pressed ahead.

All sense of discomfort faded away upon running into you. You looked the worse for wear, covered in dirt, your clothes ragged. For a moment Razor wondered what could’ve possibly caused this. Perhaps there was a creature out there he was not aware of. Running up to you he wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re hurt.” It was more of a question than a statement, and you seemed to understand that. Returning the hug you sighed slightly.

“I was stuck in one of the shallow caves off of the Stormbearer Mountains. The passage we went through started crumbling, and I was the last one in line. It took some time to dig me out.” You laughed slightly, but there was a tremor in your voice, and you seemed ill at ease. “It was so dark in there Razor, so utterly dark. I couldn’t imagine being a creature down there, it all seemed to weigh down on me, and I thought it’d collapse and bury me at any second.��

Razor had tightened his embrace, the image seared into his mind. There was a visceral fear in his reaction, the fear of what you’d just described, but it was more complicated than that. To be down there himself was terrifying, but for you to be in that situation, and for so long, it stole the air from his lungs and weighed him down with such a sense of dread he could barely stand it.

“Humans sent you down there?” The tone of his voice was seething, but your reply was much calmer than it had been before.

“Yes. They did. But they also saved me Razor, you must remember that.”

It was something he hadn’t considered, and as he pulled away to look you in the face he pondered the implications. What he’d said was true, yes, but what you’d said was also true. They could’ve quite easily left you if they wanted, could’ve left you for dead and said there was nothing to do about it. Certainly some humans would’ve done just that, but they didn’t. Instead they helped you, for days they had dug, and thanks to that you were safe.

“I was wrong.” He said, tone straight, for it was a fact. He was wrong, at least about your people he was wrong.

“There are many evil people out there.” You said, expression pensive. “There are those who kill and rob and lie and think only about themselves. There are those who cannot see the world around them. But you can’t judge all of humanity by that. There are also those who care for every aspect of the world they can, who burden themselves with all the misfortune they see, so much it might break them. Humans are complicated Razor. So yes you were wrong, but I cannot say you were completely so.”

Razor said nothing, absorbing what you’d said. It was hard not think in black and white, something necessary sometimes for survival. But ever since you’d entered his life he wanted to try to understand you, even a little bit. And, especially after today, he’d do anything to make that effort a reality.

For though he understood little of humans and their ways he knew of one thing for sure. And that was the love he carried for you.

Xiao

Looking back it was such a stupid argument. Of course all arguments seemed idiotic looking back after what happened. But if all arguments were stupid, then surely Xiao couldn’t’ve picked a stupider one to have.

“I wish you’d see me off at the bridge.” You remarked, strapping the last of your equipment into place. You were off to do another commission, something about recording a rare species of lizard and taking photographs of some rare luminous mosses, and once again the topic of goodbyes had come up.

“I’m saying goodbye now aren’t I?” Xiao tone was as brusque as ever, but this time you didn’t brush it off with your usual smile.

“I mean it Xiao.” You said instead, turning to look him straight in the face. “I know you don’t fraternize with people, I know that you consider it a result of the burdens you carry. I know that and I don’t ask you to go and set up shop in Liyue or some such thing. I do ask you though to simply be there when I leave the city. It would mean a lot to me to have you there when I step out into the wilderness, especially when I’m going to be gone for two days. Can’t you do this for me, at least this?” You searched his eyes, expression pleading, but Xiao simply scoffed and turned his head.

“Saying goodbye here should be enough. Besides, there aren’t any people here. Would you really want me to say goodbye surrounded by prying eyes?”

“No one is going to pry.” You pointed out, voice flat with annoyance. “And to answer your question, yes, yes I would like you to be there to say goodbye. I love you dearly Xiao, more than I have ever loved anyone, more than I ever will. But I cannot love you unequally. I don’t ask for much, but I am asking for this. Please say goodbye to me at the bridge.”

But Xiao merely scowled, shaking his head violently. Huffing you turned around, everything set and ready to go.

“Sometimes I don’t know why I put myself through this.” You muttered; stomping your feet ever so slightly, and slamming the door to the room behind you.

Xiao’s sense of time was usually quite poor. To adepti days were more like minutes, and even months seemed as abundant as grains of sand. One of the things that had most surprised him about starting a relationship with you was how his sense of time was affected by it. The days with you were mere moments, and the days where you were gone dragged on and on, minutes replaced by endless boredom.

This time was no different, instead the feeling was exacerbated. Although the first two days were a blur, made meaningless by Xiao’s irritation over your final conversation, the moment the third day dawned and you were nowhere to be found time ground to a halt, and Xiao no longer became sure of what day it was, sure that a month must’ve passed instead of a few hours. You must’ve been more irritated than he’d thought.

Still the adeptus was full of pride, pride and principles. If you were staying away over something so petty so be it. He’d not be the one going after you, not when he was utterly within his rights. Why should he changed so over the request of a human? No matter how much he loved you a part of him chafed at the idea, and thus he did nothing, instead sulking the days away under the concerned eyes of Verr Goldet.

If he was filled with pride though, there was also anxiety. Day three came and went, then day four, then day five. When day six arrived Xiao’s will seemed to give up, and he spent his hours in a restless sleep, something highly unusual for the adeptus labelled the “Vigilant Yaksha”. It was if you had taken all his strength away, and what remained was nothing but anxiety and his quickly shattering anger. Surely nothing was worth this feeling of being eaten away by poison. Surely.

Night had fallen, and the moon had taken her silent vigil over the land. Xiao knew that he should get up, knew he should go after you. But it was as if he was chained to the mattress. His head was filled with static and he felt as if he were burning up. A headache had come on the moment he’d opened his eyes, and now he found he could do nothing but lay with his thoughts, each becoming darker by the moment.

He recognized the weight of your footsteps as soon as they came into earshot. Bolting up, all fatigue leaving him, he slammed open the door, taking the stairs two at a time until he finally came face to face with you.

If he was expecting something, it certainly wasn’t this. Though there was a smile on your face it was marred by the bandage on your forehead, and by the long gash on your arm.

“What happened?” The words came out in a rasp. “Who did this to you?” The weight had come back, and Xiao swayed slightly, feeling altogether faint, the range of emotions he was experiencing becoming overwhelming.

You pressed your hand to his chest, the other moving to cup his cheek. “No one did this to me.” You said, voice slightly hoarse. “One of the caves I was in collapsed, and I fell and hit my head while running away from the entrance. Thankfully it was nothing serious, and it only took them three days to get me out.”

Three days. The situation seemed torturous. Xiao was a creature of air, the mere idea of being beneath the earth was claustrophobic to him. It was to humans too, that he knew, knew from what he’d heard from Rex Lapis. The idea of you trapped underground, injured and unable to escape, it shook him to his very core.

Taking your hand in his he kissed your palm, silently thanking Rex Lapis and all the other archons for letting you come home. The situation, what you’d gone through, it was all crashing down on him. You were the most precious thing in the world, the one he loved most, the only person he would truly love, in all his years on this earth it would forever be that way. How could he take you for granted? Take your needs for granted?

“I’ll never fight with you again.” He whispered.

“I don’t know about that.” You said, smiling slightly despite it all. “Fights are hardly unheard of after all.”

“I won’t. Not about something so stupid. Not when…” he trained off for a moment, eyes clouding over. “… Anyways I won’t do it.”

“Does that mean you’ll say farewell at the bridge?” You asked, tone hopeful.

“I will.” Xiao promised. “I’ll do anything for you. For you are that which I love the most.” And leaning over to kiss you Xiao made a silent vow that he’d never let you go through anything like that. Never again.

#I never know the right time to post these #diluc #razor #xiao #diluc x reader #razor x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #requested #scenarios #my writing

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

All Bets Are Off ~ YJG & LMH [Request]

WORD COUNT:3.3.k

PAIRING: Jeongin x Fem!Reader x Minho

GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, swearing

A/N: I hope you like this, I sort of went for a different way of writing it so I hope you like it and understand it

"Did you hear about Jeongin?" You looked up from the makeup palette you were using to see some of the other stylists all crowding around one another as they spoke in hushed tones, the mention of his name sent shivers down your spine. It was as if someone had just taken a cup of freezing cold water and poured it down your back bringing you into a harsh reality that was the real world,

"I wouldn't worry too much," Sana spoke softly as she noticed the worried look spreading across your face, after working with you for almost all of her career she was able to read you like a book, she knew every look you gave meant something and this was a worried one. The simple mention of Jeongin's name made you want to burst into tears at any given moment but you couldn't, you couldn't let on that what they were gossiping about was about you and Jeongin not only was it embarrassing but it would also lead you to get fired on the spot.

"There's always some kind of gossip, but it's nothing." She reminded you as she placed her hand on top of yours, running her smooth pale skin to try and calm you down but nothing was working. Your skin was starting to feel clammy as you heard the gossip getting louder and louder, normally the gossiping would go over your head but this time you knew it was going to be about you and Jeongin. The more they spoke the harder your heart began to beat against your chest, so hard it felt as though it was going to spring out of your chest as you slowly placed down the brush you had been using on Sana's face,

"I heard it was a stylist," One of them giggled before looking around the room, none of them had any idea what was truly going on. They only knew what they had heard and even that wasn't the full truth, the only people who knew the truth were you, Jeongin, Sana, Nayeon and Minho and the boys Jeongin had created this whole thing with, you didn’t want the entire JYP Entertainment company knowing the in’s and out’s of your personal life,

"Do you want to go and get some air?" Nayeon questioned as she noticed how faint you began to look, there were beads of sweat beginning to collect on your forehead and all you could do was nod your head in answer to her. Both her and Sana got up before taking you out of the room and headed towards the quiet room so you could take a minute to yourself.

Breathing heavily you tried not to look out of the glass walls of the quiet room instead you were trying to focus on Nayeon and Sana as they tried to calm you down,

"You need to forget about them, they don't know it's you." Nayeon reminded you as she cupped your face in her hands, running her small fingers under your eyes to remove the tears that you hadn't even noticed had begun running down your cheeks.

"It's not even that big of a deal, it'll blow over soon," Sana reminded you but you weren't listening to them now, your eyes were locked onto Jeongin as he came down the hall out of one of the studios. The boys were standing with him laughing about something, all you could think about was them laughing at you even if it wasn't what they were doing. They were lost in conversation with one another but as soon as Jeongin saw you staring at him he froze in place, this was the first time he'd seen you around the building in months. He figured you'd quit but seeing you there brought back all of the emotions he had for you, another pair of eyes made their way to yours as he saw you sitting with the girls. Minho. As soon as you saw him it was like a wave of relief washed over your body and the panic you had been feeling about Jeongin suddenly disappeared from your mind as Minho gave you a small reassuring smile. Jeongin frowned as he saw you staring behind him, he glanced over his shoulder to his Hyung as he scoffed, storming off in the direction he was going originally. The girls had been hiding you whenever Jeongin came around asking to speak to you, there was no way you were ever going to be able to face him or even speak to him after what he did to you what he put you through for the last year of your life. All of the times you spent together came crashing back into you like a wave hitting the sand, even if Minho was by your side nothing could stop you from feeling the hurt you experienced with Jeongin and every time you looked at the young Maknae it hit you over and over again.

Things between you and Jeongin had been going great, you were dating in secrecy since it was in your contract that you weren't allowed to date any of the idols that worked for JYP Entertainment and you had signed and agreed to that. Dating wasn't a problem since you seemed to get along with all of the idols really well, Stray Kids treated you like a sister as did the members of Itzy and Twice since you worked with them the most.

"Hey, are we still meeting at the dorms?" Jeongin whispered in your ear as he ran his hands up and down your side, you let out a shaky breath as you nodded at his question, Jeongin was the only one that didn't treat you like a sister since you guys were together.

"It'll be just the two of us, Channie-Hyung is working late and the boys have agreed to let me have the place to myself," He placed a quick kiss on your shoulder before moving away from you, going to sit down on the sofa that was inside the styling room you were working in. You were currently practising some of the hairstyles for Twice on a mannequin head so you could make sure you had it perfect when it came to doing live shows.

"You're doing great, you've been getting better ever since you got here." That was Jeongin for you, always trying to make sure you felt confident in everything that you were doing in the company. You were an apprentice stylist getting paid below the minimum to train there while working alongside some of the greatest idols and stylists in the business,

"You have to say that, you're my boyfriend." You rolled your eyes at him as you continued to pin some of the curls onto the head of the doll and then spraying it with some glitter hairspray before stepping back to look at it from behind.

"I would tell you if it looked bad, you know I would." He pressed his lips against your ear as you let out another shaky breath, he knew what all of his small touches and kisses did to you but he never acted on any of them. It was all part of the game for him, he was just going along with the game he and some of the boys had arranged with one another and so far you were falling into the trap. The two of you had been together for almost a year now which meant it was time for all of this to come undone soon but as the date drew nearer Jeongin couldn't help but want to postpone the day and tell the boys that the bet was off. That he couldn't break up with you because he was starting to fall in love with you for real but he knew they would laugh at him, and joke about it. The bet was to see who could date you the fastest and break up with you within a year, Jeongin won the dating side and decided he was going to make it a painful breakup until he got to know you. The more he got to know you over the past year the more he began to realise how much of an awful person he was for making this game with you, you had human emotions you weren't just some toy for him and the boys to play with whenever they got bored but it was too late now, he was too far into the "relationship" to tell you what it really was and he didn't want the boys to laugh at him and call him whipped over someone he barely knew but he knew you. He felt he knew you well enough to fall in love with you and what did it matter if it was all some kind of joke, to begin with? It wasn't as if you had to know the details, he could just tell the boys it was off and that would be it, you'd never have to know about it or the money that was included in the bet.

"Everything okay Innie?" You questioned as you glanced over at him, his face was pale as he stared down at your feet clearly he was thinking hard about something since he hadn't heard what you asked him. Waving your hand in front of his face you waited for him to snap out of the daydream but when he did he jumped up from the seat,

"I need to go and talk the boys," He stuttered out nervously as he looked at you, smiling at you as he leant forward to give you a quick kiss in the empty styling room only for you to playfully hit him with a brush,

"Go before you get us caught," You hissed at him, giggling as you watched him running away from you and down the hall, the giggle you let out filled him with hope as he raced to find the boys hoping they hadn't left already.

As you were leaving the building you walked by one of the studios when you heard Jeongin's voice sounding strained as he spoke back and forth with someone, you knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but when you heard your name you wanted to see what it was all about.

"Look, it wasn't our idea to make her fall in love with you, all you had to do was date her," Felix said as he looked at a worried-looking Jeongin, he'd come to the boys for advice, telling them that the bet was off but they claimed there wasn't just a way out of it since they'd all put money down into it.

"You can't tell me you're starting to have real feelings for her," You heard Seungmin laugh loudly as he spoke to Jeongin, Jeongin added an awkward laugh as he began to scratch the back of his neck playing it off as though he was playing a trick on the boys.

"No! Of course, not. I was joking, I'm going to do it tonight." He laughed looking between Felix and Seungmin as he tried not to seem as bothered about this as he was. The bet was between the three of them, they didn't want the older boys getting involved since they got along with you the boys, Chan looked out for you like you were his twin sister and Seungmin knew damn well how Minho felt about you. Minho had been in love with you since you started working for JYP, he'd never been able to keep his eyes off you but the two of you were nothing more than friends.

"Besides, she's just a stylist you need someone better than that." As soon as Felix said that you felt your heart clench as you thought about what they were talking about and that was when you heard it,

"₩700,000, is a lot of money Jeongin and it's all yours. All you have to do is break up with her before the end of the week," The way Seungmin spoke so apathetically made you shiver, normally they were the sweetest guys in the group but hearing this only made you want to throw up.

"You decided to get in on this, we didn't force you to ask Y/n out, you did it and now you have to dump her before the time is up," Felix said smugly as he turned to leave the room, you gasped as you darted out in the other direction sliding yourself into a different studio as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"Y/n?!" Minho asked in a panicked tone as soon as he saw you crying, he dropped what he was doing and walked over to you placing his hand on your arm but you flinched away from him.

"Y-You can give it up! I know you're all in on it right?!" You choked out a sob as you wiped your face, moving away from the door and from Minho as you shook your head.

"You think just because I'm not some famous Idol that I don't have feelings?!" Minho stepped away as you yelled out at him, he'd never heard you raise your voice to anyone before and now you were crying and screaming about feelings.

"What are you talking about?" He tried to steady you but you weren't having any of it,

"You can quit pretending, I know Jeongin only asked me out because you all bet he could dump me within a year. I get it. I'm the joke," But the look on Minho's face read that he had no idea what you were talking about but that he was angry about it, his face was getting redder by the second.

"They did what?" You stopped sniffling as you turned to look up at him wondering why he hadn't known about the bet but he heard laughter coming from down the hall and he stormed out of the studio you were standing in.

"Jeongin!" His voice boomed and it almost sounded as deep as Felix's did as the Maknae froze in place, turning to look at you and Minho. Your eyes were bloodshot as you continued to silently cry into a tissue,

"Everything okay, babe?" Minho put his hand on Jeongin's chest to stop him from coming any closer to you, he didn't want Jeongin to be near you in this state.

"Don't call her babe, don't pretend that this is real when she's just heard you betting money on who could date her and dump her!" Jeongin flinched, he'd seen Minho angry before but never this level of anger and he didn't like this side of his Hyung.

"Are you stupid? Incredibly sensitive or just a complete and utter idiot?!" Felix and Seungmin came out of the room they had been standing in to see what was going on outside when they saw Jeongin, his body was slumped down as he stared at the floor not looking at either you or Minho as he yelled at him.

"Answer the question!" Minho demanded, his anger boiling up even more at the thought of someone hurting you emotionally or physically.

"I- I wasn't thinking when I agreed to it," Jeongin mumbled as he still couldn't look up,

"Please! Minho is only angry because he's in love with Y/n." Seungmin spat out making you tense up as Minho turned to him next,

"You know what, yeah I am but that doesn't mean that you get to toy around with someone's emotions! Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?!" Sana and Nayeon came out of their dressing rooms when they heard the yelling, they took one look at you before dragging you into a friendly embrace while Minho continued to get into a heated argument with Jeongin about what he had done.

"We were bored," Seungmin mumbled, rolling his head back against the wall as if he didn't care what he had done,

"You were bored?" Minho scoffed, running his tongue along his teeth as he shook his head,

"I'm bored sometimes but you don't see me going around and betting money on people's feelings...You make me sick, give me one good reason I shouldn't tell Chan what you've done!?" Jeongin's eyes locked with yours and then to Minho as panic ran through his body,

"Because I'm in love with her, for real...I love her and I...I wanted to call this whole thing off but the boys weren't going to let me," He explained but you didn't look up from Nayeon's arms, you felt nothing when he said he loved you.

"You should have thought about that before you got into this mess," Minho snapped, watching as Felix and Seungmin walked over to you, apologising before leaving without another word to one another.

"Y/n I'm sorry...I just-" You slapped Jeongin across the cheek as he tried to speak to you, you knew that violence was never the answer but right now it was what he deserved for ripping your heart out and stamping it into the ground.

"Do you think you can forgive me?" You stared into his eyes as you watched tears roll down his face, you searched them for any sign of sincerity that he meant that he was sorry and you knew he was but it didn't mean you could accept this.

"No. I can't...Maybe if you had told me about it instead of laughing behind my back things would have been different but now?" You looked him up and down before sniffling,

"Now I can't even look at you," You whispered turning into a sob as you walked away with Sana and Nayeon to find a girls bathroom where you could clean yourself up for the night.

"Hey," Minho whispered as he replaced Nayeon and Sana in the quiet room, the two of them going off to change before heading home.

"Hi," You whispered back to him, leaning your head on his shoulder as you tried to come down from the small panicky feeling you had experienced. Minho placed his hand over yours, locking your fingers together as you both sat down on the stools in the room.

"It'll get easier to look at him, I promise." He whispered to you as he traced small patterns into your hand with his fingertips, just having him this close to you made you feel so much better. The two of you had been dating for a month, deciding to try it out together and it was working.

"I don't know how you do it," You laughed sarcastically as you looked up at Minho through your lashes, he and Jeongin had gone back to acting as though nothing had happened, in fact, the whole of the Maknae line were pretending it never happened and the money was never spoken about again. That was of course after Jeongin tried to give it to you as an apology but you told him you wanted nothing to do with that part of your life anymore.

"I can tell how sorry he is, it doesn't mean I forgive him for hurting you it just means I'm capable of letting it pass but if he hurts you again I'll break his knees," You laughed at him and shook your head at him,

"No, you won't. He's your friend, you should go though." You nudged him as you noticed the boys manager staring at you through the glass walls of the quiet room,

"I'll make it up to you, your place tonight?" He questioned as if there was any other place you would go together. The two of you would always hang out at your apartment since you didn't have the bravery to head to the dorms just yet.

"Yeah, bring food." You ordered as he walked out of the door, sending you a playful wink as he walked away from you.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs

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atinydise · 3 years

Text

Follow the rules (Part 2)

❦ Genre: Angst / Fluff / Suggestive.

❦ Pairing: Seonghwa.

❦ Word count: 1K.

❦ Requested: Don't ever believe me again when I say I'm posting something "soon" 💀Part 1

❦ Tags: @scuzmunkie, @butterfliesinthenightsky 🦋

Once again, you stared at your reflection in the dirty mirror of the theater.

You fixed your hair, removed the tiny stain of lipstick on your teeth, and shamelessly opened another button of your dress.

“You can do it, girl!” You motivated yourself. “It’s just a date! You are a pro for dates.”

It’s been 10 minutes that you were trying to spot something wrong with your outfit or just yourself.

This guy that you met at a party, invited you to several dates before, but for this one, you felt a little bit more stressed or insecure.

He was so good to you. Always funny, complimenting you when you doubt your own beauty because of these stupid “beauty standards” or always available when you need to talk.

You were diving into your thoughts, daydreaming about how this date could end when you receive a text from him asking if you were okay.

Not losing another second, you walked out of the restroom.

“Oh Y/N, are you okay? You were there for a while.” He asked, visibly worried for you.

“Yeah, there were just a few girls before me.” You lied. “Let’s go?”

He nodded and smiled.

“But first, do you want a snack or a drink?” He offered, already taking out his wallet.

“Wait, I'm paying.” You put your hand on his. “You paid for the restaurant yest-”

“Popcorn and a cold drink such as iced tea?” He asked, knowing exactly what you want.

Understanding that he would probably not give up and pay for your snacks, you simply nodded.

“Thank you again.”

“Wait for me here!” He said before running to the shop.

Seeing someone devoted to you made you happy and thankful.

“What could happen Y/N? It’s probably going to be a good date too.” You tried to reassure yourself, fixing your dress one last time.

“Y/N?”

You instinctively looked at the person next to you.

It took a few seconds to realize that the worst thing that could happen, was just there: Seonghwa.

You hated the way with simple eye contact, he made you doubt your entire existence.

Even if Seonghwa changed a bit during this last month, he was still this handsome man he used to be.

His hair was dyed in black and a bit curlier than before. He was probably working out a lot more because his figure was a tiny bit more massive.

The way his eyes were piercing and staring at your soul, gave you this warm feeling that only he can give you.

“Y/N?” He repeated.

You raised a brow to show him that he has your attention, but that you wouldn’t say anything.

“It’s been a while.”

The thought of shouting ‘you dumb or what’ or punching him right in the face, came to your mind for 2 seconds, but you decided to play it cool.

“Yeah.” You simply replied.

Seonghwa was taken aback because of these short and cold replies. You were the only one talkative among both of you.

“Hm… are we cool? Or?”

“Cool?” You repeated. “What do you mean?”

“Are you still mad at me?”

This situation was so strange to you that you pinched your hand discreetly, to be sure that you were not daydreaming or hallucinating.

“Y/N.” He called you once again.

You managed to keep your composure but hearing your name from his mouth made your knees weak a little bit more.

“Do you remember that we are not talking or seeing each other anymore?”

Seonghwa scratched the back of his head, searching for a possible excuse or explanation.

“You made it clear the last time we saw each other.” You continued. “So you don’t need to come and check after me as you care.”

“Y/N…”

“Don’t Y/N me.”

“That’s your name?” He raised a brow.

“Yeah, then don’t call me.” You gulped, realizing how dumb this was.

“Y/- I mean… Can we just talk about what happened? I know what I said was bad.”

“Bad?”

“Yes.”

“I would say painful, cold, uncomfortable, hard, unpleasant-”

“Okay okay, I got it.” He stopped you.

“No, I think you didn’t.” You started, clenching your fist to not yell at him for everything he did to you. “You literally throw me like a toy. Okay, we knew our deal, just sex, but you could have been a little- NO. A LOT nicer when you rejected me.”

“I freaked out.”

“And I don’t care.”

“Can we talk about this later? I really want to see you again.”

That was one of the things you were redoubting.

After a month, the moment you finally start to turn the page and focus again on your happiness, Seonghwa comes back.

You hated yourself for already knowing that you would run to him without any effort.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?”

You turned back and stared at Seungyeon. He looked so cute with these 2 big packs of popcorn and the drinks hanging between his fingers.

“Ah, you there.” You smiled.

Seonghwa stared at both of you, trying to know the exact situation or relationship you had with this man.

“Hello. I’m Seungyeon.” He politely bowed.

Your ex-friend and benefits didn’t even blink. He stayed there, only staring at him.

“Well… we should go. The movie is about to start soon.” You grabbed Seungyeon by the arm, making sure to help him with the drinks.

“And what about my request?” Asked Seonghwa, before you could leave.

You sighed. He wouldn’t give up so easily. He would even sit next to you during the movie for sure.

“Can you take our seats? I need to talk to him for a minute.” You simply explained, embarrassed that this situation happens during your date.

“Sure, text me if you have a problem.”

You understand well that he was bothered by you staying with a man that clearly has his effect on you. But for the sake of this date, you needed to make things clear with Seonghwa.

When Seungyeon disappeared from your eyesight, you confronted him.

“What’s your problem?”

“And who’s this guy?”

“And why are you asking as you care about who I’m dating?” You crossed your arms on your chest.

“Because you are mine.” He sighed in frustration.

“What the hell Park Seonghwa.”

“I’m the only one who is supposed to touch you.” He added.

You rolled your eyes at this comment. Of course, he was only thinking about sex.

“Well sorry, but other people don't see me as a vulgar piece of meat like you do.” You started. “Seungyeon is curious about how my day went and not about which position we are doing at night.”

“Do you sleep with him?” He stepped closer to you.

“This is none of your business.”

Seonghwa was frustrated. He ran his hand in his hair and growled something that you didn’t understand.

“So, for your request. It’s no. You told me that I’ve shouldn’t f-”

“Does he satisfy you well?”

You blink twice at this sudden question.

“I told you it’s n-”

“Does he fuck you better than me?”

He was stepping closer to you at every question. Your heart raced and your lips went dry in a second.

“Does he make these things that you love the most in bed?”

“You are being inappropriate.”

“I bet you never told him your little secrets. Like how you like to be choked. Did you tell him?”

The proximity, his perfume, or just his presence made you get a tone of flashbacks.

These times you met, how he treated you well or how he completely made you forget your own name.

“You are mine. And I don’t want anybody to touch you.” He whispered, resting his forehead on yours.

This contact made you close your eyes so you could enjoy his presence once again.

“Just ditch him…”

You shook your head, “I can’t. He’s nice to me.”

“And I am too.” He kissed your cheek.

“He’s giving me what I want.” You gently rested your palm on his torso, trying to push him a bit.

“I can give it to you too.” He slowly went to kiss your neck, your weak spot. “All night long.”

His offer was interesting, of course. But you remembered that after this “night” he wouldn’t text you or ask how your day went as Seungyeon does.

"No." You pushed him stronger this time and stepped back. “I don’t want to be a friend with benefits anymore. I just want to be a girlfriend.”

Your heart was beating so fast in your chest that you thought it would explode the next minute. Maybe it would be the time where Seonghwa would change the status of your relationship or simply disappear as he usually does.

“I just want to be special to someone and not only because I slept with them.” You added, not liking the silence that settled.

“If you want me to be yours and not only in your bed at night then say it now. Otherwise, there’s a movie which is waiting for me.”

His lips parted for a second then closed right after.

You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

You pushed his hand away from your forearm.

“Excuse me, but I have a movie to see.”

You exchanged one last stare together, then you left to join Seungyeon.

The more you walked away from him, the more you felt your heart clenching in your chest.

When the door closed behind you, you brushed off the tear which was sliding on your cheek.

“Ah you there,” smiled Seungyeon when he saw you.

“Yeah sorry. Did I miss something?”

“Nop, only ads.”

“Good.” You sat down, blinking a few times to suppress the tears.

“Are you okay?” He asked, still worried for you.

You nodded, biting your tongue.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You whispered, taking a deep breath to forget this conversation.

When the room dimmed in the dark, you remembered that your phone wasn’t mute.

Just when you were about to turn it off, you received a text from Seonghwa.

[“Let’s finish our conversation.”]

You noticed that he didn’t write “tonight” like he usually does.

“It’s starting.” Whispered Seungyeon, when he saw you still on your phone.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” You apologized for not being focused.

[“K.] You replied before turning it off.

You felt bad for agreeing to meet Seonghwa while you were sitting next to someone who probably likes you.

“What I am doing...” you whispered to yourself.

#ateez reader insert #ateez fluff #ateez seonghwa #ateez suggestive #ateez angst #ateez writings #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez kpop #ateez

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sslow-dancer · 3 years

Note

hi! can i request a one shot with polnareff x reader but he’s still stuck as the turtle but a twist like the princess and the frog? the reader kisses the turtle and he comes back to being his old (part 3) self because the reader is the one? lots of fluff plzzz? ty ;w;

A/N: Okay but this idea is so unbelievably cute?! I apologize for taking forever to get it done. I went a bit deep and overboard with the storyline on a request that is so simple and I’m pretty sure this is my longest one up to date actually BUT- it’s whatever. There’s plenty of fluff near the end, I promise. I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it too!! 🤍

(If this flops, I will be so sad omg)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re The One, My Love.” (Jean Pierre Polnareff x Reader)

Warnings: mentions of drug abuse and depression

tags: gender-neutral, gender-inclusive, jean pierre polnareff x reader, turtle pol, magical, kiss, twist, slight angst, sfw, fluff

Description: One day after having to escort Polnareff as orders from your boss, you begin to grow quite fond of him. During your usual hangouts, you jokingly offer to kiss him as a way to recreate one of your favorite fairytales.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You giggle as Jean pulls you into a kiss, you feel him smile as he holds your face gently. You’re happy to see the man you love not be as serious and hurt as he was when you first met him. Your expression reminiscent of the memories shared between you before this moment.

~A Year Before~

Your personal servant had drawn the curtains. Your eyes fluttered open, body awaken by the bright sunlight shining from your windows and murmurs outside your bedroom. You groaned in frustration as you threw a pillow at him, he managed to catch it and place it back by your bed frame. You huffed,

“Didn’t boss say I have the week off? I’m allowed to sleep in.” you stated blankly, remembering how you had the strong urge to strangle him for ruining your slumber. He shook his head as he sat by the edge of your bed and pointed at the clock that stood on top of your nightstand. You distinctly remember the screen marked 7:25AM exactly. You sighed as you thought you could’ve at least slept in by 10. You sat up and criss crossed your legs and played with the lose strings of your blanket as he replied.

“Technically you do, but today is last minute and different. Sr. Giovanna wants you to escort out a close individual he works with today by 8.”

Frustrated, you plopped your hands down onto your lap and rolled your eyes as you said back,

“Not to be bratty but...can’t he just do that himself or get one of you to do it?” you raised your pointers and middle fingers to create air quotations “This individual must be pretty important if not even the boss can take care of it.”

Your servant shut his eyes and sighed. After what you had just told him, deep down you felt bad about how much he had to deal with your bull on a daily basis- not to mention your constant grumbling in the morning whether he woke you or not. Either way, you were pretty grumpy most mornings. He shook his head again.

“It’s not that either. Sr. Giovanna could easily lead him out but he’s currently finishing business with other people in the country. Sr. Mista is with him as well so you’re the only one we have present. They both must attend all meetings, they are not to miss one.

“Okay, but that still doesn’t answer my question. What’s so important about him or her or whatever the hell they go by?”

“I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.” He said finally as he patted your bed as a way to non-verbally tell you to get ready.

You huffed when he exited the room, plopping your back down hard into the foamy mattress. You roughly grabbed at the pillow you had thrown earlier and placed it over your face, you screamed into it for a good 10 seconds.

Looking back, were you being a little too dramatic? Yes, sure- of course. It’d make anyone cringe if they were to had witnessed it though you didn’t really mind. You were still maturing anyway. You were still getting used to the life Giorno Giovanna and Guido Mista had offered and gladly given to you.

Before meeting your boss Giovanna and his right hand man Mista, you had been living life miserably at home. Though before anyone asks, no: your parents were not abusive, no: your siblings weren’t either, no: nor were your friends or teachers. You had just become very distressed with the life you were leading on. You didn’t like the person you were and were expected to become. Anxiety took over rather unexpectedly. So what did you do when you had enough? You moved on to drugs.

You were surprised to find out how easy it was for a person in their late teens to gain access towards those terrible substances. But none the less, you later learned your dealer was from the mafia known as “Passione.”

Was it dangerous for you to have figured out that information? Yes. However, you remained cautious and never told a soul...until one day you bumped into the now late capo, Bruno Bucciarati.

You were walking down your local dealing alleyway, hands in pockets and school bag still in sight. You usually dealt after school as many adults were distracted by the kids that filled up the streets. Thus making them barely notice the illegal activity going on as a large number of students would walk down alleyways as a shortcut to their home. You were swift in paying back and receiving your desired substances anyway.

All of a sudden you heard a distant call, a call out of your name. You stopped dead in your tracks and turned around to look at the direction from where the call was coming from, that’s when you saw him. He stood a few feet from you.

“I’m glad I was able to find you...my name is Bruno Bucciarati. Your parents sent me to look for you, they’ve mentioned to me that you’ve been coming home late from school lately.”

You only shrugged and completely ignored his claim. You began walking away but were stopped again when he said,

“Leaky eyed Luca deals with you, doesn’t he?”

You kept your gaze forward and your back turned away from Bruno. Turning your head slightly over your shoulder, you mumbled,

“If I say yes, will you leave me alone?”

Without having to look at him, you knew he had tilted his head when he answered.

“That depends. If you answer honestly, no trouble will occur. I’ll remain calm with you, that is a promise.”

You blinked, sighing as you kicked at the small pebbles near your feet, staring at your shoes as you thought about what he said.

You had been dealing with Luca and you knew that his business was risky. Though you didn’t care. You felt that you needed to get the drugs you wanted pronto and Luca was the only one who would give them to you quickly. You shook your head, deciding to give up as you didn’t want anyone to notice you both speaking. You turned to face him and quietly replied,

“Yes, he deals with me. He’s the provider, I’m the receiver.”

Bruno smiled, satisfied with your answer.

He followed up with informing you that Luca had been killed at a local airport and was told to investigate his death. He didn’t provide too many details as to the cause of his death but you didn’t feel like asking anyway. Bruno admitted he came to speak to you as hours prior one of your parents really did come to speak to him about your behavior. After connecting some dots, he suspected you had something to do with Luca’s death as you were not attending school and were gone for most of the day. Not to mention, your teachers had called your parents that day as well.

Luckily, he was able to clear you out as a suspect as you cooperated with him and weren’t sweaty or completely jittery. He also gave you a little talk about using drugs. He promised he wouldn’t tell your parents that you got yourself involved in that abusive life if you promised to not buy more again.

You truly felt at the time that he was the only one who understood and cared for you in just the short time you met him. Your eyes watered as you complied with Bruno, promising to do what he suggested. A promise you have held onto forever.

After some investigating of your own, you found out that it was your future boss that killed Luca. You were rather impressed than angry that he was able to kill him. You honestly believed Luca would never be caught.

Back to the day you had to escort this individual- after some more complaining and grumpy remarks towards everyone in the household, you were finally ready to meet them. Your personal servant led you to the front door. He made sure to quietly remind you to be polite.

Your attention turned to another servant walking down the stairs towards your direction. A pillow in hand with a piece of cloth covering whatever was on top it. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, laughing as you sarcastically remarked,

“Is this some kind of joke? It’s not April, is it?”

“No, but I guess this household treating me with the upmost respect is.”

Your eyes widen. ‘Did that thing under the cloth just speak?” you asked yourself.

The servant removed the cloth and there revealed a turtle. A turtle with a key-shaped hole embedded on its shell. You almost assumed that the turtle smirked at you when he added,

“I know, don’t be too surprised. I plan to get out of this animal once my soul decides to give up. I haven’t always looked like this, ya know.”

Your mouth gaped open as to say something, but you quickly shut it as you didn’t know how to reply. He chuckled,

“Hand me over to them, we’ll talk more when we get to my destination.”

You hesitantly took the pillow from the servant’s hands and remained in shock as you walked out the door. You were careful not to drop him as you got down to the front gates. Gulping as you asked,

“So...my servant wasn’t that specific on me having to leave you in the car or actually riding with you. It’s kind of my fault as I don’t like to listen and talk in the morning...”

You nervously laughed as he looked up to you. He replied,

“It’s quite alright. I was told you have to ride with me. But don’t worry, you won’t have to stay for long. It’s only around a 10 minute ride.”

“Yeah, okay.”

You sat behind the passenger seat and placed the pillow in the middle, right next to your side.

The ride was relatively quiet, you looked out the window as you kept a fist under your chin. Your expression showed that of concern. You were too nervous to say anything. Even though he had joked back earlier, you were afraid he didn’t like you as his voice stayed stern throughout your small talk. You were afraid you had offended him in some way.

Your mood changed when the driver alerted that you had arrived. You thanked him as he opened the door for you, your hands grasped the pillow tightly so the talking turtle wouldn’t fall. You asked him with a small voice.

“Is there anywhere you’d like for me to set you?”

“Yes... put me on top of that balcony over there. I want to look at the lake.”

“Of course.”

You did as he said and sat him on the balcony. Your eyes gleamed when you caught sight of the glimmering water and greenery of the setting. You’ve always known that Italy is one of the most beautiful places in the world but at that time you had forgotten and were fascinated all over again. Like when a child sees a playground for the first time.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, you nodded.

“Yes, it really is. It’s no wonder you asked me set you on here.”

“Yes... I wanted to look at one more beautiful sight before I go. Like I said earlier, my soul is no longer fit to be here, so I might as well admire my surroundings for now.”

Your mind quickly became curious after he said that. You wanted to know more behind what he meant. You weren’t going back to that car until you got answers. So to make things easy, you started off with asking his name.

“If you don’t mind... would you like to tell me your name?”

“It’s Jean. Jean Pierre Polnareff.”

‘So he’s French.’ you remember thinking, his accent wasn’t too thick but you assumed and your assumption was right. After that, you went on to tell him your name and your experiences before meeting boss Giorno Giovanna. He shared the same with you.

You talked for so long in fact that you paid off the driver of your assigned car to go back and finish his shift early, promising them that you’ll find a ride later yourself.

You ended off the chatty night with placing Jean under a nearby bench and waving at him. You were saddened but Jean said he enjoyed your company so much that he’ll try to stay for longer and that you’re welcome to come him visit him everyday.

And so you did.

For months you came by to talk to him. You were happy to see that his soul wasn’t giving up yet- you knew you would cry if it were to one day. You had come to realize that you love him but you didn’t know if he felt the same way about you. You had only seen his face once- that was the day he decided to show you the physical embodiment of his soul.

You thought (and still think) he was so beautiful. The missing of bottom limbs and blindness in one eye did not bother you at all. His white-silver hair, style and personality is what did it for you. What it did to make you fall in love with his vanity and him. Just him. Jean himself.

~A Year Later~

It’s been a year now and as per usual, you spent half your days speaking to Jean by that same lake you were ordered to drive him to.

Boss Giovanna and Mista have noticed how fast you are in missions since then. They appreciate that you get things done but they still remain curious as to why you’re more happy and less grumpy than you were before. Though they don’t bother to ask, as they’re kind and don’t want to ruin your pure joy.

Today isn’t particularly different. All you had done earlier in the day was speak to a few citizens in town and dealt with giving details to your boss about a certain drug epidemic at a school. Nothing too out of the ordinary, a situation like this occurred at your old school too years back. Your duties were basically done once you learned information got to police.

You drive down to the park where the lake is at, smiling when you see a familiar small green circle on the balcony, looking over the glimmering waters. You park in the nearest lot and lock your car after getting out. You excitedly run over to Jean and smile when he turns his little head to greet you.

“I’m glad you’ve come again.” he says with a smile.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” you reply in a genuine tone.

You go on to talk about random topics and subjects as you always do. The conversation moving onto favorite pieces of literature and genres.

You roll your eyes in embarrassment as you tell him your most favorite one- one that is a fairytale and goes by the name of “The Frog Prince.”

“Well... it’s very fem of me but I really enjoy fairytales. Especially the ones from the Grimm brothers. My favorite is actually “The Frog Prince”

You place your elbow on the rail and use a hand to cover your burning cheek. Hoping that the redness rushing to your face won’t be noticed by Jean and that the sunset covers it up. Jean only laughs and hopes to comfort you when he says,

“Oh, that’s fine. Who cares if it’s feminine? They’re very well written stories and people shouldn’t be ashamed for what they like. I admire that your favorite genre is fairytale, you don’t hear people say that as often, you know?”

His words do comfort you and you thank him for that. He welcomes you and you feel like you’re actually looking into his sapphire eyes. The ones you fell in love with so long ago. You speak up before you’re even able to fully think.

“Say, the frog prince and the princess kissing, huh? Why don’t we kiss and see if it turns you back?”

Shit.

‘Did I really just ask that?’ you ask yourself ‘What the actual hell is wrong with you?!”

“I don’t see why not...”

“Huh?”

You’re stunned. You thought he would get offended for spurting out such a stupid thing. Of course your request won’t work- that shit is from a story book. It’s pure fiction. This is real life.

He’s a turtle now and you’re a human. You can’t and you won’t kiss him. You raise your hands up in defense.

“Hey, no! No need to play along after saying something so stupid to make me feel better. I just blurted that out I’m so sorry-“

“No, it’s okay. And I’m not playing along, I’m being serious. Go ahead. I’ve grown to like you a lot, a small kiss wouldn’t hurt.”

This answer is not what you expected. You nervously fiddle with your fingers as you look around. You sigh as you give in.

“Fine. I like you a lot too and I’ll do it. Let me just-“

You lift up the top half of Jean, his front turtle legs up in the air and his little face staring up at you. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, you slowly lean in and- kiss✨

The turtle falls out of your grasp. You stop puckering your lips and open your eyes. In a panicked state, you frantically look over the balcony and both sides of you to find him. You look forward and gasp. You grab at the railings to hold you steady.

There sits a groaning man on his knees. He rubs at his neck as he silently curses to himself, blinking fast and harshly as he tries to understand what’s going on around him. It’s dark now but the moon shines bright enough for you to get a better glimpse of him. You furrow your eyebrows as you slowly recognize who he is- Jean.

He has that same white-silver hair, sapphire eyes, big stature though the only difference is no eye glass in sight and his “legs” aren’t made out of metal.. they’re completely real. Flesh and all and you know that blood flows right through them like the rest of his body.

“J-Jean?” you whisper.

The man doesn’t hear you. All he does is groan and cross his legs in front of him. He stretches his arms and looks over any possible injuries on him.

“Jean.” you say again, louder this time.

He finally looks up at you. And there they are, those sapphire eyes you love so much. That face you’ve grown to be so fond off. His expression more than surprised. Though that expression quickly changes and softens- his eyes crease and a small smile appears. He says your name. And you tear up after he does.

He attempts to get up but his legs give up on him. You sprint to his side before he falls, letting him use your shoulders as support. He blushes.

“I’m sorry... I haven’t had real legs in years. Apparently I forgot how to use them...”

His voice is softer than before, the sternness isn’t there. He sounds younger almost. You giggle, as you use a hand to wipe at the tears of your eyes.

“Okay, I think I can stand now. Let go of me so I can look at you fully.”

You do as he says and as you watch him wobble, you reach out to help again but he shakes his head, waving your hands off as he’s able to maintain balance. You grin proudly when he does.

Jean turns to face you, he clasps your hands together and brings them up to his lips. You blush as he proceeds to hold them over his heart. He looks at you with pure love in his eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. What you suggested was silly but it worked.”

“Yes, you’re welcome...” you say softly, looking down. He makes you look up again.

“You’re the one, my love. You always have been and always will be. My feelings for you started when we first met, I meant what I said. I have grown to like you a lot though it’s more than “like”- it’s love. And I’m so happy to know you feel the same way.”

You tear up at this and hug him. He hugs you back and you can’t believe that he does.

The turtle is no more and you have your true love back to human form.

He raises your chin up with his thumb and pointer, he kisses you and you kiss him back. The kiss long and meaningful.

You’re happy to know that the man you love, loves you too.

165 notes · View notes

yourmcu · 4 years

Text

Emotional Support Mode

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader

Summary:

in which the reader is the loner, antisocial daughter of Tony Stark and the other Avengers including her father never acknowledge her presence (they thought some sort of interaction made you uncomfortable) so she becomes friends with Friday instead - Tony probs finds out and it’s gonna be all cute n fluffie once he realizes -

Word count: 2,243

a/n: hi just wanted to write fluffy tony :)) also I used they/them for friday’s pronouns

Warnings: angst n fluff, friday’s a bit more advanced (not like they aren’t already but) bc they could almost act like a literal human here.

read it on ao3!

You arrive back at the Avengers facility, shoulders slumped and just tired in general since you have a lot of homework and projects to do from school, most of them due by the end of the week. You also have exams later in the week.

“Hey, Fri,” you huff as you make your way to the elevator.

“Welcome home, Y/N. Where do you want to go?”

Yes, you're very close with the A.I that they started calling you by your first name. “To my room - and uh, will you remind me to read two chapters in my history book after I’m done with all my homework? I also have this project, I just need some measurements later, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing.”

“Thank you.”

It’s going to be a long night, you sigh heavily just thinking about it. Now you’re probably wondering, ‘you live with the Avengers! Why don’t you ask Tony and Bruce for help? Maybe Steve and Bucky for your History test?’

Yeah, well... you barely talk to any real person you live with. Maybe it’s you, you always thought you're making the team uncomfortable. You don’t even talk to your own father often which is kind of depressing on your part.

You love them, they’re like your extended family, but it just isn’t working out. Maybe they just don’t like you. Up to this day you still wonder why Tony took you in when you were just a baby (you were a mistake from one of his one night stands) - he had the choice not to.

“I’m assuming you zoned out again. You have arrived to your room five minutes ago.” Friday announces.

“Y-yeah sorry,” you shuffle out of the elevator and swiftly head to your bedroom, closing the door behind you.

“I also asked if I should inform Mr. Stark that you have arrived home.”

“No, no thanks. He’s busy and... probably wouldn’t care anyway,” You mutter the last part as you pile the books you need on your desk. “Can you put my study playlist on, please?”

----

“What time is it, Friday?”

“7PM. I was about to remind you to take a break.”

You get up from your chair and stretch, halfway through the last of your homework which is a two page essay. “You’re too kind, thanks pal,” when you walk out your room to head to the kitchen and grab a snack, the lounge is empty, kitchen empty,

“The team’s on a mission? I thought they had the whole week off,” you say before gulping down a water bottle.

“I checked the security footage: they left about an hour ago. Captain Rogers was talking about getting dinner.”

You put the bottle down. “Oh,” you try to mask your disappointment. This isn’t your first time being alone, they always left you here when they had a mission of course but... well, it’s not like they want you around them. “I’ll - I’ll just make myself something later, then. Not a big deal. I have to study anyway.”

Another hour later, the Avengers are back. They're all conversing happily as they pile in the lounge. Peter's rambling about upgrades for the Spiderman suit while Tony's typing away in his phone, nodding at everything he says. Everyone else is arguing about the TV channels and talking about the new restaurant they ate at.

Rhodey shifts, looking around. “Why do I feel like we forgot something?”

Natasha looks at him, waiting for him to go on.

“I assure you, I brought Mjolnir with me this time.” Thor butts in.

“No not that, what time does Y/N get home from school?” No one answers. It’s not like any of them know. It's natural that Rhodey would be worried about his goddaughter (even if they rarely talk). He turns his head to his best friend who’s now walking away with Peter, an arm around his shoulder. “Tony, where’s Y/N?”

He doesn’t hear since he has his full attention on his protégé.

“I’ll start making this tomorrow, I guess. I still have to buy materials.” You mumble to yourself, but you hope Friday's listening to everything you say just to make you feel less lonely. You swipe the hologram of the blueprint away and place the thick books in front of you.

“I would like to recommend a suitable study plan.” they state.

You rub your eyes, sighing, “I’m already halfway, I would’ve considered it earlier though.”

“This is only a recommendation, feel free to ignore it.”

You push yourself away from the desk and mutter a “go on,”, fiddling with your pen.

“Asking Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes would give you more details for your History examination, since the pair were originally from that time period. The same goes for Mr. Banner for your Science examination, I believe he has seven Ph.D’s, you may also approach Vision for the same topic. Mr. Stark has all the necessary materials for your project in his lab. Would you like me to-”

If only it were that easy. It should be easy, the thought alone makes you really nervous. “No, I - I appreciate the recommendation, Friday, but - I think I can do this on my own.”

“But you’re tired and it is almost midnight. I would help you myself but you specifically told me not to.”

They’re not wrong. Your eyes are starting to droop and you barely understand anything you're reading. You're also fighting back tears - why is talking to your family so hard?

“I can sense sadness. Would you like me to activate emotional support mode?”

“Yeah, okay. That sounds great right about now.”

----

“Crap. Guess we lost track of time again, kid,” Tony wipes his hands with a rag while he looks at the time on his computer. “You better get home. I’ll send May a text for keeping you this late.”

“Okay, thank you Mr. Stark. I’m just gonna use my suit-”

“No. Happy will drive you.”

Peter knew better than to argue and insist so he just nods and smiles sheepishly. A minute later Happy came ‘round to take him home.

Tony turns back around. “Friday, make a new project for me please, I’m adding minor upgrades to the Spiderman suit.”

“Not now, boss.”

Oh. He did not expect that. “Excuse me?”

“Y/N is currently opening up. I would like to give her my full, undivided attention. Please come back after fifteen minutes or so.”

Tony doesn’t exactly know how to feel about that. He never sees her outside her room anymore that he kinda forgot she existed tonight - oh fuck, they didn’t bring her to dinner with them.

“Well,” he exhales. “What is she saying?”

“That would be an invasion of privacy.”

“I’m her father-”

“Are you, sir?” Friday’s clever remark makes him stop abruptly.

It’s pretty clear that he’s been a shit father. Not only does he ignore you all the time but he treats Peter way better than his own flesh and blood. The Avengers on the other hand, they were nice people, but just didn’t understand so they try their best to get out of your way.

You were afraid of rejection, afraid to interact, because you had no idea what everyone thought of you. Did they like you? Did you make them uncomfortable? Did they want you around? What about Tony, did he really want a daughter in his life? Because you noticed he’d be better off with a son, yeah, like Peter goddamn Parker.

Tony sighs, walking out of his lab and heads to the mini bar to grab a drink. He needs to think: there's absolutely nothing wrong about you, he just didn’t do his job right, you thought he didn’t care, you thought nobody did. Even Friday is turning against him, doing a better job of comforting and being there for you.

“God, I’m such an asshole,” he mutters to himself, rubbing his forehead. He drinks his last shot and heads to the kitchen. “She still awake?” He calls out.

“She is.” Friday has a bitter tone.

He's hesitant to ask again, feeling really bad for not knowing this simple question - “what’s her favorite beverage?”

----

“How do you feel?”

You sniffle. “Well y’know, better than before. I should probably go to sleep. Thanks, Fri.”

“You’re welcome. Also, Mr. Stark is outside your door.”

“W-what?” You put away your books and straighten up, rubbing your damp eyes. “You’re serious? Okay, uh, let him in?” It's more of a question.

“Alright.”

You turn to face your desk as Tony enters the room, holding two steaming mugs. He sits at the end of your bed, just right next to the chair you're sitting on. “Hi,” he gives you a small smile and hands you a mug.

What’s the occasion?

“What’s this?” You ask quietly before taking the mug from his hands. Tony's being gentle and soft, it's odd but you’re not complaining.

“Green tea with honey. I... I thought I saw you make that stuff once.” He says, not mentioning the fact that Friday told him that.

“Oh, well, yeah,” you take a small sip. He added a bit too much honey but other than that it was good. “I thought you preferred coffee, though,”

Tony shrugs, his eyes glistening when he looks at you. “Wouldn’t hurt to try something new.”

“Did - did you want something, Dad?” You always found yourself awkward, couldn’t even make conversation with someone for long, always wanted to get straight to the point so it could be over with.

He looks like he wants to say something but he just averts his gaze to you, his hands, the floor, then suddenly he leans in and hugs you. Your feel your heart swell and body warm up, it’s a new sensation for you after all, you rarely get hugs from people. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “For everything. I’m such a bad dad, I don’t deserve you. I even forgot you when we went out to dinner.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I had loads of stuff to do earlier anyway, so, but yeah I was just - I just overreact, I’m sensitive. I don’t blame you and the others for not liking me, I know there’s nothing like-able about me, I’m not like Peter-” You ramble, tears now leaving your eyes again.

“Sweetheart, don’t say that,” Tony says as he pulls you closer to him, head resting against his chest while he rubs your back comfortably. “Y/N Stark, you are smart, brilliant - I was just an ass for not acknowledging that.”

“I know you’re just saying that to-”

“Oh, but I’m not,” he now places his hands on your shoulders, getting you to look at him. “Tell me who built their first engine when they were eight?”

You blush, “Dad-”

“No, come on, I wanna hear it.”

“I did.”

“Yes you did. And who made a completely functioning robot at their middle school science fair that blew all the teacher’s minds?”

You’re trying to hide a smile, recalling the memory, “I did.”

“And who,” Tony gets up and walks to the bulky looking thing that you covered with a sheet, pulling it off, “is currently building a computer from scratch?”

“Dad! That’s still a work in progress,” he messily places the sheet back and chuckles.

“My point is, you’re a clever and talented girl, Y/N. Don’t bring yourself down. And you don’t have to be shy around your family, those idiots have been dying to get to know you but since you don’t talk much... they don’t want to force it. We love you,” he says. “I hope you forgive me ‘cause I really wanna make it up to you. I’m not calling Peter in for a few weeks.” Tony sits down beside you again.

You couldn’t believe he’d do that for you. “You don’t have to, if you need him for something then-”

“-then you could help me instead, if you’re up for it.”

“I’m really sorry for being such a lonely freak,” you yawn, getting back into Tony’s open arms. “I love you.”

Tony tucks you in and lies down beside you, “I love you tons, kiddo.”

You snuggle into his chest, feeling his steady breathing while he rests his chin above your head.

----

It's morning. The Avengers are gathered at your open bedroom door.

“Are you getting all of this, Friday?”

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff.”

“Steve turn that shuttering sound down!” Natasha hisses at the super soldier who's doing his task, taking pictures.

Steve almost drops the phone and has Bruce fix the volume for him.

They’re all watching you and Tony cuddle together, still fast asleep.

“Do we have to stay here until they wake up?”

“Unless you have a great way of waking them up, yes. Now shut up.”

“If you think about it we definitely look creepy right now.” Sam comments.

“It’s their fault for having the door wide open all night!” Clint says.

Tony's actually awake the whole time, listening to them bickering. “You have three seconds to get the hell out of here before I make all of you polish my suits.” With that, the team races down the hall, pushing each other to get away first like literal children.

2K notes · View notes

solicuttle · 3 years

Text

You didn’t matter enough. It wasn’t a sudden epiphany, but a gradual realization that your partner didn’t care anymore.

------

Word Count: 0.8k

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Violence, Bad Partner Etiquette

Characters: Saiki Kusuo, Kuboyasu Aren, Kaidou Shun, Saiko Metori, Teruhashi Kokomi

------

Saiki Kusuo

Did he ever love you? Or was it a façade to achieve normalcy? Did you matter, or was he using you to be as inconspicuous as possible?

Did your feelings not matter anymore? Over time the spark dwindled, dates almost nonexistent but you still held on, had hope that you could get over this stumbling block and go back to your old relationship. You brought your fears up to him; Saiki brushed them off with a well-timed “Oh.” And went back to ignoring you.

The only time he ever paid attention to you was when you had something sweet in your hand; after that you weren’t in Saiki’s universe anymore. Even Toritsuka was given more attention than you were.

Some things just can’t be fixed. You told him this, that perhaps it was better for you both to see other people.

“Okay. Goodbye then.” Saiki wasn’t upset – relieved even. Any hope you had of fixing things shattered.

------

Kaidou Shun

Kaidou begged you to take him back. How was he supposed to survive without you? Perhaps Kaidou should’ve thought out it before he brushed you off to hunt spirits or bailed on your anniversary because Nendou had “given him a hint on the Dark Reunion”.

Honestly, he should go off and date Dark Reunion since it mattered so much! Any of your interest didn’t matter, Kaidou too busy gushing about his own interests and own life to care about yours. You don’t deserve to be treated like a second-hand toy that Kaidou could come back to when he was done playing chuuni.

“[Name] I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!” You believed him the first time. But after the first came many others, each ending with Kaidou begging you to take him back but not changing anything.

You’re tired.

------

Kuboyasu Aren: (Violence Mentions!)

How do you deal with the sudden realization that your boyfriend is dangerous? At first you thought it was just a bad temper – you could handle that. Your sandcastle of hope came crashing down during one of your arguments with Kuboyasu.

It was over something trivial, but his reaction was overboard – and then he shattered a chair out of anger. Sure, Kuboyasu spent the night cuddling you and promising that he would never hurt you, but it didn’t erase the lingering fear.

His anger didn’t stop there, growing slowly and coming out in short bursts that have you flinching in surprise. He’s not a bad boyfriend at all – but you’re becoming scared of him. Scared of what would happen to you if you were the one in his warpath.

Your breakup should’ve been simple, undramatic but Kuboyasu did not take it well. At all. It was when the window behind you broke that he’d realized his error, but you were long gone.

------

Saiko Metori

You’re not an S/O. You’re a trophy that Saiko can bring out at will. He decks you in only the finest, the grandest, the best but your heart is empty. He just… doesn’t talk to you. See you as a lover rather than a precious toy. Anytime you try to have a mature conversation about how you feel he hands you a credit card to literally buy your feelings.

Even trophies get left to gather dust. Sometimes Saiko forgets about you – he honestly doesn’t mean to, but you just slip his mind. You still call him, text him whenever you can but he always leaves you on delivered. The longest he’s forgotten about you should’ve been the week you had planned a date, but he decided to go to Paris again.

You didn’t want to date Saiko for his money, you wanted to date him for him. Maybe it was best to not date Saiko at all.

Saiko tried to pay you to come back but you weren’t some idiot who would heed his beck and call because of money.

Maybe it was best like this.

------

Teruhashi Kokomi

She let perfection get to her head a lot. You tried to tell Teruhashi that she’s amazing the way she is, but she just had to be the very best. The prettiest, the coolest, the fanciest. She had to be perfect. Her quest for perfection spilled over to you – she had to have a perfect S/O.

Last week Teruhashi would’ve called your outfit nice but this week she’s scrutinizing it, mentioning that the colors are ugly and its too tacky to be worn. Maybe you should try being a bit more eloquent. She can’t be embarrassed by you.

It doesn’t stop there, everything you do has Teruhashi chastising you. Breathe wrongly and she’s on your neck. It’s rude and you tell her that you don’t appreciate it. But Teruhashi wants you to know that she’s doing this so you can be your “best”. She doesn’t stop.

You want it to stop. So, you end it yourself. To this day, Teruhashi doesn’t understand what she did wrong.

#saiki kusuo x reader #saiki k headcanons #saiki k imagines #the disastrous life of saiki k x reader #kuboyasu aren x reader #kaidou shun x reader #kaidou x reader #saiko metori x reader #teruhashi kokomi x reader #kuboyasu x reader #saiki x y/n #saiki x reader #teruhashi kokomi #saiki kusuo #saiki no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k.#soli's imagines #angst

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ghost-party · 3 years

Note

hi~ o/ for your follower event, I'd like to request *covers Gojo's eyes* Sukuna on either Office Coworkers, or Villains prompt; whichever tickles your fancy more. (look at what your AU!Sukuna has done to me, requesting him instead of Gojo... I am going to go put myself in time out now). Grats on 200 again ♥ and thanks for doing something for us on it! ♥ ♥

Aww, thanks for the request! Your secret is safe with me. 😂🤐 Gojo never has to know!

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, brief mention of losing parents/family, some spicy content A/N: Sukuna and the reader work at a company that produces corporate events. (That was my last experience working in an office, so... 🤷🏼‍♀️)

• • •

Sukuna + Office Coworkers

It’s your first day at your new job, and you’re currently hiding in a bathroom stall, certain that one of your coworkers already hates you.

When you arrived that morning, your boss walked you over to your cubicle, with its dual monitors, already-worn-out swivel chair, and short walls. She waved at the man sitting on the opposite side, hunched over his laptop.

“Sukuna! I want you to meet Y/N.” As she rattled off bland introductions, you barely heard a word, focused instead on the sharp gaze now locked onto yours.

At first glance, he was handsome, with a lean build, strong jaw, and dusty pink hair that somehow suited him. You also noticed a few empty piercing holes in his ear lobes.

But that expression... Why did he look so annoyed? You hadn’t even said anything yet. Maybe he was in the middle of something important, you reasoned, repeating the same cheerful “nice to meet you” you had given everyone else... only to be met with a soft grunt.

And it only seemed to get worse as the day went on. While you were on the phone with IT, going through the process of setting up your database login, you looked up and found Sukuna staring at you over the top of your joined cubicles, his eyes slightly narrowed.

When you tried to print your new hire forms and the paper jammed, there he was, standing behind you with a bored look on his face, uttering a simple, “Move,” before popping open the front of the machine and quickly resolving the issue.

At lunchtime, you both ended up in the kitchen, just the two of you, him microwaving something and you half-heartedly poking at your salad. Before you could even attempt benign conversation, he punched a finger at the keypad, removed his meal, and strode away without even sparing you a glance.

You stood there, feeling painfully awkward, until you managed to finish eating and retreat to the bathroom to calm your nerves.

Maybe he’s just not a people person, you think, biting your lip as you finally emerge from the stall and face yourself in the mirror. But the least he could do is be nice, right? Geez... Does he treat all the new hires like this?

After a short mental pep talk, you nod at yourself and make your way back to your desk. As you sit down, you avoid eye contact altogether, instead directing your attention to your email inbox.

Nearly half an hour passes before Sukuna asks, “Do you drink?”

You blink up at him. “I’m sorry...?”

His head is resting on his hand as he stares at you. “Do you drink? We usually take newbies to the bar across the street on the first day.”

“Uh... Yeah. That sounds nice.”

He makes a noise of acknowledgement and looks away — until you ask, “Who’s ‘we’? Everyone?”

Sukuna shrugs. “Whoever wants to come, but it’s usually the office events committee. We organize that kind of stuff.”

“You’re on the events committee?” The idea of this man planning birthday parties and fun, team-building activities is honestly baffling.

He raises an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No offense, but you just... don’t seem like the type.”

“And what type do I seem like?”

Before you can think better of it, you blurt out, “Rude.” Panic quickly sets in as you watch his eyes widen. But then... he laughs. It’s a low chuckle, but even just seeing his stern mouth lift into a smile fills you with a strange sense of relief.

“You’re honest. I like it.” He leans back, crossing his arms behind his head. “Sorry if I’ve been a dick today. I’m a bartender on the weekends. Had to stay late last night and didn’t get much sleep.”

“Oh.”

“But that doesn’t mean I’m sunshine and rainbows on a good day,” he warns, sitting forward in his chair.

“Duly noted. It’s just nice to know you don’t hate me.”

“Yet.” He’s still smiling, but it’s a wicked, crooked thing that has your face heating up.

• • •

Over the next few months, as your division preps for events season, you spend more time working closely with Sukuna. You learn that there’s not a huge difference between him on a good day and him on a running-on-caffeine-and-no-sleep day. He doesn’t talk much in meetings, but his facial expressions say plenty — though you’ve learned that he sometimes looks annoyed when he’s really just... fine. It’s confusing, to say the least.

Along with his piercings, he has at least a few tattoos on his forearms. It’s hard to tell how many, since he keeps them covered while at work. But you noticed them while having dinner with the team one night. He sat beside you, sleeves rolled to his elbows, holding a frozen margarita as he argued with someone from sales about marketing list sizes. You think about the mental image more often than you care to admit.

You’ve collected small details about him. He’s been tending bar for almost eight years, mostly as a side gig. He has a bad temper, which is why he was drawn to a marketing position — not nearly as many phone calls and general human interactions as you have to deal with in event production. He lives with his younger brother, Yuuji, who’s enrolled at the local university. They’ve been on their own since Sukuna was seventeen.

“He’s a good kid,” he says. You two are taking a brief coffee break in the kitchen, leaning against opposite counters. “Decent grades, working part time... He even has a girlfriend.”

“Wow.” You sip your latte, wondering how to ask the question on your mind without being painfully direct. But what comes out instead is, “Do you have a girlfriend?” because apparently your brain hates you.

Sukuna shakes his head. “Finding someone who can put up with my shit? Easier said than done.”

“Oh, come on. You’re not that bad.”

He smirks at you. “Is that so?”

You shrug and turn around, busying yourself with pouring a refill as an excuse to hide your flustered expression. “I mean... You’re still pretty annoying.”

It’s only when you feel him standing behind you that you realize he’s moved. “Don’t mind me,” he murmurs, reaching above you to grab a plastic lid from the nearest cupboard, his chest just grazing your back. You can’t help but freeze, your heartbeat erratic as you watch his shirt sleeve slide back, giving you a glimpse of the black bands of tattoos encircling his wrist.

When he pulls away, snapping the lid onto his paper cup, you glance at him over your shoulder and he meets your gaze with a knowing smile. “Annoying, huh? I’ll take it.” And with that, he walks away, leaving you scrambling to figure out what just happened.

• • •

“So... What do you think?” You swirl the ice in your glass and nudge Sukuna with your shoulder. “Your first live event.”

“I hate it.”

You’re both sitting at the hotel bar, having finally escaped the welcome reception upstairs. Although marketers don’t usually travel to your company’s events, a team member’s sudden illness left you in a lurch. Sukuna had begrudgingly agreed to accompany you to help with on-site prep and operations.

“Somehow I knew you’d say that.” You take a sip of your drink, already feeling pleasantly buzzed. “Is it the pushy attendees, the boring presentations, or the thrilling nightlife?” You gesture around at the exclusively 50+ clientele, along with the stuffily-ornate lobby full of classic artwork, antique carpeting, and gold everything.

“Yes.” You laugh, and when you look up at Sukuna, he’s staring at you thoughtfully. “But the company’s not too bad.”

“You should put that on the post-event survey.”

“Definitely ‘exceeds expectations.’” He drums his fingers against the bar top. “My room’s not bad, though.”

“‘Not bad’?” you tease. “I made sure you got the nicest one in the staff block.” When he looks surprised, you glance away. “It’s the least I could do — as a thank you for coming.”

Sukuna chuckles. “You’re always too nice to me. Might give me the wrong idea one of these days.”

Your grip tightens on your glass. “Or the right one...”

When you end up in his room, the both of you fumbling to unbutton and remove clothes as you kiss, his mouth soft yet insistent against yours, you tell yourself this is enough. As he pushes you down onto the bed, strong arms caging you in as he bites and sucks the tender skin between your neck and shoulder, you tell yourself this doesn’t need to be anything serious.

But afterwards, when his hard, lean body curls languidly around you, bare skin warm and smooth against your own, it’s hard not to imagine more — waking up beside him every morning, having breakfast together, straightening his usually-crooked tie while he pokes fun at you... You want all of it.

For now, though, you settle for his deep, steady breaths and the way he sleepily pulls you closer, arms tight around you.

• • •

When you wake up the next morning, Sukuna is propped up beside you, dark eyes unreadable.

“Watching me sleep?” you ask, voice slightly hoarse as you roll over to look at the clock beside the bed. Six o’clock. Plenty of time to get ready for another day of work.

“Creepy, I know.” His tone is flat, but he looks gentler than usual, with his bed head and placid expression. In the early morning light, you can see the full extent of his tattoos, bold, wide lines that trace across his body. They suit him, but you can’t put your finger on why.

“Look, can we... talk? About last night?”

You stiffen, mentally preparing yourself for what comes next.

“This was fun, but we’re better off as friends.” “We can do this again, but I’m not interested in anything serious.” “This was a mistake. Let’s pretend it never happened.”

But instead, what Sukuna says is, “This wasn’t just sex for me. I’m not really into that. Well, not anymore...” He runs a hand through his hair. “I, uh... Like you?” It comes out as a question, and his brow furrows, looking agitated. “I’m fucking this up.”

He must not expect your laugh, because his eyes widen at the sound. But you’re just so relieved. “I like you, too, dumbass.”

“Dumbass?” He playfully shoves at you. “So romantic.”

“What, you’re gonna change your mind?”

His hand moves from your shoulder to your face, stroking your cheek. “Nah... I knew what I was getting into. But the romantic thing... I think I can fix that.”

“Oh yeah?”

He grins. “You. Me. The huge, fancy bathtub. Room service. Does having mimosas with breakfast count as drinking on the job?”

You turn your head and press a kiss to his palm. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“You’re bad,” he growls, leaning over you, his breath warming your upturned lips. “When did that happen?”

“When I met this guy. He’s smart, sexy, kind of a jerk —” The rest of your words dissolve into a breathy gasp as he kisses you, teeth nipping against your bottom lip.

“Yeah, yeah... Less talking, hm? Now, how about that bath?”

#200 followers event #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #au sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader

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thotsforvillainrights · 3 years

Note

Hi, it same request for shie hassaikai with 3 in 1 reader but this time I want u do for lov members if u don't mind. I know u want to make it opened for the reader. U can make it opened for reader I don't mind it, it's all up to u and pls for afo too if u don't mind 👀

(Oh I don’t mind! My apologies for excluding Toga and Mustard this time around. I sometimes have to sit and think if it’s appropriate for them to be in certain asks! This was such a fun one to do as well btw ^_^)

~LOV/AFO and an S/O with the Big 3~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-AFO: He would definitely call you a well endowed person, that’s for sure. In other words: he’s complimenting you really. He knows everywhere you go, you tend to catch a lot of he eyes around you. He’s much to mature for jealously or brawling outright in public. He’ll only really get active if someone touches you without your consent, or even if someone is harassing you as well. He’s not big into the whole ‘leader with eye candy on his lap’ thing. He sees you as more than that. He sees you as an equal...a partner and someone he cares about past their looks.

-Shigaraki: How could you ever hold a conversation with him when you first met him? He’s too busy staring at your chest (and elsewhere) to pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth. Honestly it’s pretty annoying since you’d probably want someone that likes you for you and not just for your ‘assets’. Well lucky for you that he slowly begins to actually get to know you. Bit by bit he begins to actually become engaged in your conversations until his ogling is a thing of the past...well sometimes. He wants to touch you but it’s a bit difficult given his quirk. He knows he has control over it by now, but the fear of slipping up even just once bothers him. He has to wear his special gloves to interact with you until he trusts himself more.

-Dabi: Has he died and went to heaven? He must have died and went to heaven right? That’s his thought process on a daily with you. He wants to be one of those sensitive guys that has no type but lets be real here: you’re everything he’s looking for in an S/O...at least body-wise of course. All the other stuff like personality and shit comes later on in the relationship.

-Muscular: Hope you don’t mind being groped constantly because this is what you’ll be dealing with when dating him. Every time you pass him by, he’ll smack your ass. Every car ride, he’ll grip your thigh. Every cuddle session, his nuzzle himself into your chest. Don’t even get me started on the bragging! This man will tell everyone about you. More specifically about how hot you are! “Hey, you seen Y/N today? Yeah they’ve got this new outfit that just hugs them just right. Bet you wish you were dating them eh? Too bad huh piss ant!”

-Moonfish: Your body can look any kind of way. It’s what’s inside that counts to him the most. How you perceive him and how you treat him as well as others around you too. Your heart and your mind. He doesn’t see himself as the type of person that really deserves that type of love, but he’ll greedily accept it from someone like you. Your good looks are just an additive to everything else. Really he thinks your kindness and love can offset some of his awful crimes and all the villainy he’s committed over time. He hopes your purity can wash away just a smidgen of his sins at least. It’s true about what they say: love changes people.

-Magne: She’s going to hype you up regardless of your looks so just expect it at this point. Magne thinks you’re absolutely gorgeous/handsome! She finds herself buying you different outfits that she thinks you’ll look amazing in. She’s not at all a controlling girlfriend, so you’re free to say no to this at any time! She also feels a sense of pride when you’re on her arm as well. Her thoughts/opinions of herself are far from insecure. She believes she’s gorgeous as well. With you by her side, she feels as though you two are a power couple...a real double team knockout!

-Spinner: Oh God does he jumble his words around you. Even after you two have ended up dating for a while, he still feels like it’s his first time meeting and falling in love with you over and over again. You’re just so damn attractive! Occasionally you’ll find him wondering about himself as his own insecurities come to the surface again and again. He wonders how could anybody like you ever find the time out of your day to date someone like him? He’s used to society looking down on him since his quirk literally makes him look like a giant reptile. It’s going to take some time to reassure him so be sure to be patient with him please! Aside from this, he loves you so very dearly and cannot see his life without you. He’d kill for you, die for you even. You are everything to him and he couldn’t deny it even if he tried.

-Compress: Dear you’re making this old man blush! Compress find different and creative ways to compliment you all the time. Most of all, he makes sure to remind you that you’re not just an object just because you have a killer body. Compress reminds you that you are a person and that if you ever needed reassurance about that, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so. This man cherishes you and loves you so much. He wants to give you the world and would honestly leave the LOV behind if it’s what you wanted. To live a simple life with the person he loved? That would be like heaven to him as well.

-Kurogiri: He’s hardly ever stuttered in his entire life until he’s met you. Now he has two reasons to live and you are one of them. It’s no secret that your body is appealing to those around you. This is especially true for Kurogiri. He first fell for you not because of your body, but because of your laugh and smile. It was mainly because of the conversation you two had when you met. After that was said and done, he began to notice your features more. He found himself looking and feeling like a pervert on more than one occasion! He may seem like a gentleman but trust me...when you two get alone together behind closed doors? Oh yeah, it’s on.

-Twice: God you make him want to cry and shout out in joy! How could anyone ever love him unconditionally? He thought he’d be lonely for the rest of his life until he met you. You’re the type of person that makes him forget about all the mistakes in his life, and all the times he’s stumbled. You’re the type of person that makes him feel like there’s still time for him to do better and to change for good. You make his heart beat out of his chest (in more ways than one;) He’s so in love with you that he’s considering marriage. Aside from all the lovey dovey stuff, he can’t keep his hands off of you. It honestly makes you chuckle the way he asks if it’s okay to fondle you sometimes or when he asks if it’s okay to *ahem* go to bed early tonight~ You make this man lose all control of himself behind closed doors, seriously.

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #lov #league of villains #shigaraki tomura #Dabi #kurogiri #mr. compress #spinner #muscular #moonfish #twice #magne

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tare-anime · 2 years

Text

SxF Mission 58-1

(Beware spoilers)

Oh wow, Endo made draft for a chapter, and it ended up waaaayy longer than 25 pages, that he had to divide the chapter??? 👀

Seems suspiscious.

But the man is really busy. I hope he stays healty. 🙏

Anyway, didn't expect we get to see Loid and Bond days out.

As always, love the details!!

Loid looks so at ease, I totally love it. Flopped hair, cozy coat (I can't believe I was hoping to see flower button on that coat 🤣. Me just craving for TwiYor content so bad).

Bond is, as always, the best angel 🥰

So we get to see Bond and his training.

Things that Loid had been want to do, since chp 24!

Bond was so kind that he was not good at barking and biting people.

And it looks like, all this training invoke a bad memory from the dog. I was quite surprised to see that Frankie was the one who realized about this.

While Loid, still trying his best to understand his dog, that unconsciously, was treated like a son of his. (I found that really cute, tbh 🥰)

This tiny gesture: forcing Bond's head to bow, like how he did? So so soooo cute 🥰

Bond is Loid's son. As Anya is his daughter. Unfortunately, both of them gave him headaches 🤣

Now Bond is a really good dog. He always tried his best to help people.

Unfortunately, just like Anya, despite having super power, these two can hardly use them well. The results were not what Bond had expected.

Especially, since Loid cannot read his minds. So Bond also needs to figure out how to comunicate with Loid.

Poor Bond.

This chapter looked like a happy go lucky one, but, as always, there were something happen in the background

"Given the state of things..."

What things? The bombing at the cruise? The missing people? The war?

Or....

Arson?? 👀

Will we entered an arc where Loid had to deal with arsonist?

Will this arsonist so treathening that push WISE and Garden to take care of them? Oooorr??? The SSS? The situation that forced Loid and Yuri to cooperate, while at the same time try to hide their identities, with the brother-in-law awkward relationship? (Just like how @lacrow had theorized)

Or just a simple Loid and Bond saved the day?

So curiouusss 🥰🥰

Well, at least this first part of the chapter already give us Bond the hero.

(Tbh, I thought Daisy was a name of a baby... but no. It was the name of a very cute pug!)

And a very proud Loid's fatherly "heh"

(Squeaaaallllll 🥰🥰🥰) I really love soft Loid. 🥰

I can't wait to read the continuation!!

Btw, during this time, where were Yor and Anya?

Stay at home? Or went shopping? 😏 (I wanna see more Yor-Anya mother daugther moments)

#spy x family #loid forger #bond forger #chp 58-1 #spoiler #spoilers #review

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demonslayedher · 3 years

Note

Hello! I don't know if you've been asked about this before but I love your analysis and reflections and I'd love to know all your thoughts about Zennezu if you don't mind 👀⚡🎀 Thanks so much for this blog!! 😊💝

Thank you again for your patience, as well as your comments on my fics and stuff in the meantime (even on Bird Fic, kya~ thank you <3). All my thoughts, hmmmmn…. Well, clearly I am a fluffy ZenNezu shipper and ship-content creator now, but I sure didn’t start that way. This may be long and rambling and mixed between analysis and personal taste. (Actually, it turned into almost 4000 words.)

So. First a little background. I usually am not much of a shipper. The very few OTPs I have all ended in horrific tragedy, and when romance is a big focus of something I’m otherwise enjoying I usually end up not paying much attention to it in favor of all the other elements I like. This is so much more the case when you can tell they’re going to wind up happily ever after. So what happened to make me so soft and fuzzy about the Kimetsu ships, when I otherwise usually don’t have an appetite for happy fluffy romantic endings?

Three major factors: 1. I’m obsessed. 2. I love these characters and want to see anything and everything about them. 3. Romance wasn’t actually a big element at all in canon, so it left me with an appetite and curiosity for it.

Even though I figured from long ago that ZenNezu would be end game, initially I was somewhere between indifferent and put-off. As much as I love Zenitsu, and I acknowledge that Ufotable the added the “run around and chase Nezuko” bit and removed the part with Zenitsu adoringly talking to Nezuko through her box, and as much as he can be defended for being lonely rather a pervert, the fact still stands that his level of appreciation for girls makes the characters around him uncomfortable. His most cringe-worthy lines at the Butterfly Mansion are all straight from the manga, and even though he was easily one of my favorite characters by the end of my initial watch of the series, I was very put off by his “girls are all queens” surface-level comments and more disturbing pleasure he took in the presence of girls (especially when he could physically interact with them), not to mention his pathetic introduction bothering a complete stranger and displaying that he doesn’t actually take girls’ feelings into consideration.

All this made me inwardly groan, feeling bad for Nezuko, figuring they were going to wind up together because she’s a saint who can find the patience to deal with someone like that, as he clearly wasn’t going to be desirable to any of the rest of the female cast. Enjoying the series well enough despite this, it didn’t bother me terribly much, pairings happen, whatever, I have a history of ignoring them. But one day, well and deep into caring about this whole cast like they’re all my children, I realized something. Isn’t… isn’t it cute how they both get their strength from taking naps? W-wouldn’t it be cute to see them innocently take naps together? Naps to protect each other? Oh. Oh-h-h-h-h. Oh dear. Oh no, it’s cute. Oh no. OH NO.

And that was how my warming up to this pairing started, it very quickly grew into “I love these children and I want them to be happy, being with Nezuko will make Zenitsu very, very happy, I love seeing him happy, happy Zenitsu” but was still a little reserved about Nezuko. Zenitsu was going to make her happy, right? It wasn’t just going to be a case of Nezuko having gotten fond of him over the course of everything they’ve been though, he is actually going to be her taste and make her heart go “kyun” right? Oh Nezuko, oh saintly Nezuko…

Let’s take a moment to pause here and think chronologically, though, as well as analyze their personalities and tastes. Neither of them are particularly picky, we can start there. Aside from fussy busy-bodies like Aoi, as long as it’s a girl, any girl is Zenitsu’s type. He’s desperate, and he’s painted the whole of girl-kind in pretty similar, not always realistic rosy colors. Even though he’s been used and abused by so many girls in his past, it’s his desire to believe that each new one he meets will fit that rosy imaginary color he paints over them that he chooses to let himself be duped, because he really is that lonely. I’ll give him that, sure, he’s a healthy young man with an interest in physical touch, but his dream in Mugen Ressha gives a good indication of what he’s really looking for: companionship, someone who likes spending time with him, someone who will find him useful and believe in him and look to him for protection, someone who likes him enough to spare him the physical intimacy of simply holding his hand. This is all an extension of what Zenitsu desires as whole, hoping he can better himself enough to be reliable and valued in general. Picturing it in the form of a significant other is one very vivid way to focus all those feelings, resulting in that rosy ideal which Zenitsu probably knows in his heart of hearts is too good to be true. That’s why he probably doesn’t think he’s ever going to find it, and therefore why he’s all over any slightest chance of attaining it.

My gosh, if being abandoned over and over isn’t enough, the fact that none of the girls he dated in the past were ever willing to even hold his hand hurts so much.

Nezuko, though, grew up in a secure family with a good relationship to observe between her parents. She probably always envisioned growing up to be like her mother, the quintessential “good wife, wise mother” (a phrase coined later on in the Taisho period to idealize the traditional roles of a woman). She cooks and cleans and sews and the first fanbook even tells us she was good at using an abacus, so she can handle family finances like a pro. Her traditional values probably made her tastes pretty standard, hoping for a reliable protector, but also someone who might be as kind as her father and her brother. But as for what makes her heart go doki-doki? The extra comic at the end of volume 3 tells us that she does long since have a type, it’s a person who’s like a Hisha.

Hisha: a chess/Shougi piece that can move an unlimited number of spaces in horizontal and vertical directions, and is crowned a dragon when it enters enemy territory.

So, yes, this is the part where we all smile and point at Gotouge and say, “I see what you did there, Wani-sensei.”

I find this reassuring; it tells me that Nezuko can find her heart squeezed at how cool Zenitsu is instead of just coming around and liking him because she was flattered by his affection and learned to see how nice he is and stuff. There are plenty of nice Demon Slayers who are strong and cool protectors, but that ZING that Zenitsu has (when he’s asleep) is something that can make her heart race. I’m all for this. I hinge so much of my ZenNezu feelings on this Hisha comment.

The second fanbook states that Nezuko initially had trouble sorting out her memories, and because Zenitsu gave her two such different impressions, it felt like memories of two different people, but over time the memories overlapped to form one complete person. We could say that she and Zenitsu had two first meetings.

Initially, when she was in the box, her little demon heart did go doki-doki; it was the first time a boy besides her brother had protected her, so even though Oniichan is Number One in her heart for the general duration of canon, this encounter was sure to leave a flattering impression. However, when they met face to face that night, he was just some confusing dandelion yelling and screaming about weird stuff, and then he was just a confusing (and possible bothersome) dandelion wanting to hang around her and give her flowers and stuff. It’s anyone’s guess just how “there” Nezuko was at this stage, as she does seem to gain back more of her own will and thought processes over the course of the series, rather than being guided by very, very simple rules to govern her behavior.

Zenitsu feel in love at first sight, and the second fanbook tells us he asked Tanjiro about her human personality, seeing as she wasn’t fully there. He was initially doubtful that anyone so perfect as Nezuko could exist and figured Tanjiro must had been biased and therefore exaggerating, but can we blame Zenitsu for being a smidge guarded? He’s been let down a lot, after all.

We know from Taisho Secrets and side novels that Zenitsu spent a lot of time with Nezuko during their long recovery at the Butterfly Mansion. Even how much more thought we see Nezuko display in the Train arc, she probably underwent a lot of mental development in this time, and my guess is that due to how much he interacted with her, this is probably when Zenitsu went from being a strange dandelion to a strange companion. She probably focused more on the goldfish and the pretty flowers (which he did take her to see!) and any flattering mention of her brother, though. Zenitsu, I’m relieved to say, seemed to genuinely care about what would make Nezuko happy instead of selfishly assuming something like “she likes me too, she wants to marry me.” But knowing Zenitsu, he probably assumed that her willingness to spend time with him was an indication of being willing to talk marriage once she was more herself again, though.

Let’s pause here and put on our Oniichan goggles, though. Early on, Tanjiro has to insist to just about everyone that Nezuko is still her own person with her own thoughts and feelings. Being a demon has taken a lot of her freedom to act on her true nature away from her, but he knows she’s still in there and he treats her like an equal human being. He had to watch over and over as people see his sister and only think, “demon.”

And then there’s his friend Zenitsu, who looks at her and thinks, “girl. Girl! Girl. Girl. Sweet girl, adorable girl, best girl in the world.” And maybe that’s a little bothersome, but yes, someone gets it!! Someone understands! Even though Tanjiro’s initial concerns are keeping Nezuko from being bothered by unwelcome advances, as long as Zenitsu is willing to respect that Nezuko is not entirely able to speak for herself now, he seems pretty approving of Zenitsu (provided Nezuko decides she likes him back). I’d like to think there was an unspoken promise between bros on what boundaries to follow. Besides that, Tanjiro believes in Zenitsu a lot more than Zenitsu believes in himself, so Tanjiro probably wasn’t worried about the “strong protector” role a future husband should fulfil. Or at least, Tanjiro doesn’t seem concerned once he gets to know Zenitsu, he’d have rejected Zenitsu flat-out on that first meeting. Zenitsu, you are so lucky Tanjiro is so forgiving.

However, for as much as Zenitsu sees Nezuko as “GIRL!! Girl, girl, girl!”, he’s still got his rosy vision that conveniently clouds out any disturbing realities. She is, after all, a demon.

This is something Zenitsu never actually had the chance to struggle with, and I would have really liked to see him challenged by that reality a bit more. He never witnessed Nezuko’s berserker mode, nor did he ever see her struggle to keep from eating someone, he wasn’t even awake to watch her fight like a violent animal/angry toddler on the train. Had there been a scene of Zenitsu forced to face how terrifying she had potential to be, it would had really sold his commitment to Nezuko specifically, instead of only Nezuko as his most likely girlfriend candidate.

On the train, Nezuko has the good fortune of seeing another side of Zenitsu, getting one hell of a doki-doki moment. As she’s gaining more self-awareness back, it probably made those doki-dokis more complex too. While I understand there wasn’t a good opportunity to fit in the pace of the story, I love that Taisho Secret of her concerned about him before he wakes up. Instead of him just being that boy who shows her pretty things and says nice things about her Oniichan, this is when he starts becoming something a little more unique among all the people whom little demon Nezuko has bet and who have been nice to her.

In the months that follow, we don’t get much deviation from this slow development. Zenitsu’s feelings toward Nezuko don’t really change at all, but there’s another thing about this ship: neither one chose the other over anybody else. They sort of just came together, Zenitsu gets hooked on one girl at a time, but what if someone had come along with an interest in him? At what point would he had given up on Nezuko? Probably pretty quickly, if someone was serious enough about him. It wouldn’t have been a break up either, since he was still in the pursuing stages (might be more of a break-up conversation with Tanjiro, who had been tacitly supportive).

Actually, for most of the remainder of the series, the affection that Nezuko and Zenitsu build for each other is done when they’re apart, dwelling on their thoughts of each other. For Nezuko, we see this come out after the Swordsmith Village arc in her sunlit elation to see him again, and her efforts to greet him. She very clearly recognizes him and is happy to see him, a big difference compared to how she was more elated by the sight of a fishbowl before. In Zenitsu’s case, this deepening of his affections and running away with his thoughts and feelings results him declaring once and for all, this is her. He’s found her. This is the girl who he will be committed to his whole life, in his heart she is already his wife.

When human!Nezuko is gaining her memories back, her first impressions are of the boy showing her pretty things and giving her flowers, someone who probably has a crush on her, rather than thinking back to someone who she may have had a crush on. (Those cool impressions probably hit her later, I’m assuming, given the stress of the moment.) Romance is not immediately on her mind, though she does quickly recall having friendly affection for this boy for has always been so sweet to her. And Nezuko, handling his surprising level of affection gracefully, helps Zenitsu off the battlefield while he’s in terrible pain (though she probably was too, my poor girl, that fight with demon!Tanjiro was so rough). But honestly, not only is she probably too overwhelmed by everything to think much about romance, but she probably doesn’t take Zenitsu very seriously initially. She knows he’s got a tendency to overexaggerate, and it’s nice that he’s so sweet to her, but since he acts all fluffy and silly around her she probably thinks he’s not being that serious either. Furthermore, she’s got a lot of people to suddenly care about, Zenitsu has a lot to contend with for trying to get special attention. Hell, Zenitsu was probably awake and causing a racket while she was frantic with worry that comatose Giyuu might die. While she did remake Jiichan’s haori to fit Zenitsu’s later, see spent her time in the hospital mending Giyuu’s haori (Nezuko, baby, doesn’t your hand hurt though!?). While Zenitsu was swept up in happy “Nezuko is human now, we’re totally gonna get married” feels, he probably didn’t even notice that he was only one slice in a very big pie of memories that Nezuko suddenly found in her lap and had to slowly chew and digest.

So… this brings us to the extra post-canon comic in the second fanbook, which I initially did not like very much back when it came out in February. I’ve come around a lot to it, but what really hit me at first was “oh no, Nezuko really is only going to accept this marriage because she’s a saint, he’s not being desirable at all.”

But, treating it with a little more patience and sympathy for Zenitsu… he’s just gotten what he’s always wanted, of course he’s going to stop striving a bit and get blissfully carried away in it. And Nezuko, the ever sweet, isn’t going to stop him.

Some of the other commentary in the fanbook states that Zenitsu, for a time, found himself terrified of how girls could be sweet to his face while hiding their true thoughts about him. But, finding that Nezuko was not at all two-faced, he nearly “died and went to heaven” as the exaggeration goes. He doesn’t like to work hard in the first place (but does, because it will make people like Jiichan proud), so getting away with being spoiled is too big of a temptation to resist. Nezuko is sensitive to what makes the people around her happy or uncomfortable, so she never makes any request of Zenitsu. She’s so grateful to have their new little family that her happiness is everyone else’s happiness, she doesn’t really desire a heartthrob romance, even if being a wife and mother is an eventual goal. And, without being under any pressure to make someone proud, Zenitsu gets swept away and indulges.

Thank you, Tanjiro, for putting a stop to this.

He’s still rooting for Zenitsu, since this is his friend and he knows it would make his friend happy to wind up with Nezuko, but he’s setting himself up for failure, or setting Nezuko up to be cheated out on a good match at this rate (if she were to accept out of being nice). Very, very thankfully, Zenitsu responds well to pressure. By this point Nezuko has gotten so used to sweet but indulgent Zenitsu that he seems she totally accepted that his Hisha side didn’t exist anymore, if it even existed in the first place.

Good for Zenitsu asking for her response a year later (when they’d be getting to the legal marriage ages for the Taisho period anyway), he knew he still had shaping up to do to earn her affection. And Nezuko probably needed time to build some admiration for him again, since the doki-dokis were so gone. Even if he couldn’t use that super cool Thunder Breath anymore, it would probably catch her attention to see him strive again, to put effort into being manly, specifically for her. It wasn’t just the Thunder Breath that gave her doki-dokis, it was the Hisha knight-like attitude too, whether asleep and acting on his inner potential, or awake and bravely defending her based on his own goodness and faith.

I hope that in their married life, Zenitsu will retain that sort of manliness in being a provider for her, even he does get indulged a lot at home.

Now for how this plays into some of my fanwork and headcanons:

You know how I said all my OTPs were tragedies? Yeah, I love a good dose of angst. I did start writing a single-scene fic one time of injured Zenitsu desperately trying to cover Nezuko from the sun while waiting for Tanjiro to find them, and in Nezuko’s panic about the sun she starts losing her self-control over her appetite, and Zenitsu is forced to confront that the girl he loves could very easily kill him. I never finished it, though, and it was embarrassingly self-indulgent.

For my big favorite AU of a monster fanfic, I did add more ZenNezu on the massive edit, because by this point I just enjoy ZenNezu so much that I wanted more of it. But!! What I really like about working with it in this fic is that there’s a conflict: Demon!Tanjiro. In this canon divergence, Human!Nezuko and Zenitsu get to interact more than they ever did while she was a demon, and they both already have affection for each other, but the lingering fact that Tanjiro is technically their enemy gives me some tension and angst to work with.

Yes, I wrote a One Shot of Zenitsu and Nezuko as fresh new parents, but it was a bit of a dark dive into Zenitsu’s feelings of inadequacy. But domesticity comes with some inevitable fluff anyway, and likewise it felt embarrassing indulgent, and I can’t write fluff without a little bittersweetness. M…maybe the reason I’m not a shipper is because I’m easily flustered???

I’d like to think that Zenitsu got a desk job that he worked hard at because he wants to be a provider, and Nezuko does find his hard work attractive. I headcanon it was at an electric company, because hahahaha, electricity. I’d like to think he had a long career in that company (and although his colleagues know him for having a bit of an extreme personality and being obsessed with his wife, they sometimes catch glimpses of a very, very strong side of Zenitsu—like, scarily strong), and that when he’s old and retired in the Postwar Economic Miracle, he buys a fancy camera to take pictures of Nezuko (instead of “say cheese” it’s “Thunderclap and Flash!”), and he takes Nezuko to Paris because that’s the romantic thing to do. Also, I don’t like moustaches as a rule, but I totally approve of old man Zenitsu having a fluffy moustache.

World War Two, though… I’d like to think that if his job had him in the city, he was extremely reliable when it came to protecting his family in case of bombing. I’d also like to think that this was when the Kamado family moved to the city, because Nezuko was worried about Kanao and her nieces and nephews, so Zenitsu made sure they were all together. Inosuke might had taken the opposite route and taken his family to the mountains to shelter out there in the wild.

AAAAHHHH, listen to me being so self-indulgent with headcanons, I pride myself on sticking close to canon in my fanwork, I will never produce this, AAAAHHHH, I’m embarrassed~~~~I---I’m not a shipper! No! I don’t have a shipper’s bone in my body! Who needs romance, it means nothing to me, I don’t get swept up in happy fantasies about young newlywed Zenitsu and Nezuko, really I don’t, I take what canon gives me and I stick with it, I’m here for bromance and comradery and fights to the death, I—I don’t need disgusting fluffy feelings, ew, ew, no, really-----ahhh, too flustered, too flustered, too flustered, no, no, no, no, no, no, WHEN DID I BECOME A SHIPPER, nnnnnnnnhhhhjjjj

Which is all to say that Zenitsu and Nezuko as a pairing really grew on me, even though it is essentially a fluffy happy pairing that only got surface-level interaction and was never seriously challenged. It’s got some shadows lurking in there, especially diving into Zenitsu’s heart, but in general this was a slow build-up of mutual affection between two characters with pretty simple desires of their own, and most of all, a desire to see each other happy. That makes it a good comfort ship.

And they’re both are sleepyheads, hNNNGGGHHHhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH

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