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from-the-clouds · 11 months

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texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xiv

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | chapter summary: The final chapter pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 9.2k (I love being insane) chapter warnings: SMUT (18+only) - unprotected sex. Insecurity/Jealousy. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, blood and injuries. Alcohol & Marijuana use. Fluff. Bisexual reader (happy pride ya'll!). As always please dm for more specifics. a/n: This could probs use another round of proofreading but it would've delayed this even longer sooooo.... Here we go! I feel pretty emo right now and I might make a more in-depth post about my thoughts at a later date bc I just finished writing this in a hot daze so I can't put all my thoughts coherently together. But I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported and gave love to this story. This is by far the most popular fic I've ever written, and I don't really know how? Or what I did to deserve all the love but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you for sticking with me through all the angst and delayed updates and everything. I'll never forget you and I'll never forget Joel x Reader!! Thank you so much, I hope the finale lives up to your expectations! ❤️

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I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialize I seem to lean on old familiar ways….

-May 16, 2024-

“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave you here alone?”

Ethan’s voice jolts you out of a daze, and you blink your eyes open, realizing that you’d dozed off while sitting upright in a patio chair, the cheesy romance novel you’d been reading still lying open on your lap. Turning to look over your shoulder, you find him standing with one foot on the deck, and one foot still inside, cut in half by the sliding glass door.

Clearing your throat, you straighten up and nod. “Of course. I’ll be fine.”

Ethan studies you carefully, like he’s not entirely convinced. He’s been hesitant to leave you alone unless it’s absolutely necessary – only stepping away from the house to go on patrol shifts and to bring home meals from the mess hall. Recovery has made you feel like a burden to him – to all your friends in the community, really. Everyone….well, almost everyone, has been supportive, but you’ve never been comfortable being openly vulnerable.

Unfortunately, it’s too hard to deny the pain that you’ve been in since the accident, the trouble you have getting around, the exhaustion that clings no matter how many long naps and twelve-hour nights of sleep you get. According to the doctors, being so tired is just part of recovery – rest is important, but the concoction of pain medication you’ve been prescribed only makes your drowsiness and confusion worse. It had been a big deal that tonight you’d mustered the energy to drag yourself outside to sit in the fresh air.

“I’m fine,” you assure Ethan, once again. “Have fun on your date.”

“It’s not really a date,” he says, almost a little too quickly. “We’re just hanging out.”

“Right,” you say, matter-of-factly. “Do I know who this person is?”

Ethan looks at his feet. “You remember the day this shit happened?” he asks, gesturing towards you. “Before you left on patrol, the girl that said hi to me? It’s her. Her name is Alex.”

“Oh?” you tilt your head, give him a small smile. “She was cute. How’d you ask her out?”

“Well,” he begins, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have…uh, gotten some advice.”

“You didn’t think to ask me?” you’re able to muster up a small smile.

“I would’ve, I just…..” he shakes his head. “It seemed stupid…with everything you have going on.”

“It’s not stupid,” you say, feeling a wave of guilt. Even though he’s the one looking after you, you haven’t spoken to him much about anything going on in his life. In fact, you haven’t really spoken to anyone in a long time, beyond thank you’s and blanket statements like I’m doing better. You feel disconnected, and more lonely than ever. If you ever get enough energy to leave your house, you expect most of the people in the community to have forgotten you exist. “Who’d you ask?”

“Uhm….” Ethan runs a hand through his long dark hair, shifts his weight. “….I’ve been assigned on patrol with Joel Miller a lot lately….so….”

You almost laugh when he uses Joel’s full name. Joel has been such a huge part of your life – sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain – that you don’t need to hear his last name to know who Ethan’s talking about. You could know a thousand Joel’s, and he’d still be the first person that came to mind. But Joel is still a sore subject, and Ethan knows it, which is why you suspect he’s avoided telling you this in the first place. You feel your eyebrows knit together, only able to let out an unenthused. “Oh.”

“I just, you know….he’s a guy. And it sounds like you even liked him at one point so….he must know something, right?”

“That was a long time ago,” you say quickly, regardless of the fact that he’s right.

It’s probably not fair to blame Joel for everything that has happened to you. You know this, deep down. But you’ve been so helpless and isolated since you’ve woken up in that hospital bed that you’re desperate to find someone to hold accountable. And Joel hadn’t visited you in the hospital once. By this point, he’s abandoned you so many times that your resentment feels justified, even if your current state is not directly his fault. Because it was you, after all, who had walked into the path of those men, too angry to think clearly, too weak to take them down alone. The only person you can blame is yourself, and you really don’t want to.

“Did he tell you to take her out on patrol, make her cry, and almost get her killed?”

Ethan clicks his tongue, looks down, almost ashamed. “No. He did not.”

“You should be careful with Joel,” you warn.

“I was…” Ethan says. “But I don’t think it’s that simple. I think he’s actually alright.”

“So you’re friends with him now,” you state, hoping he refutes. But instead, he looks up at you, frowns, and lifts his chin.

“What happened to you was horrible. It shouldn’t have happened. And yeah, maybe you think he’s the reason you almost died…. I don’t know the specifics so you can believe whatever you want. But I know that he’s the reason you’re still alive.” Ethan’s voice breaks, and you feel tears brimming your eyes before he continues. “He brought you back here, he donated his blood, he-”

“What?” you cut him off.

“What do you mean, what?” Ethan asks. “He was the only person there who had your blood type. You would’ve died if he didn’t. They didn’t tell you this?”

“Whatever it took to make him feel less guilty, sounds like,” you say, dismissively.

Something hot burns in your veins, something that must have always been there since you woke up, but you’re only feeling it now. It’s unsettling, Joel being a part of you that way. Your lives had already seemed intertwined enough already. But now, he’s inescapable.

“Well, he stayed by your side every night while you were asleep. Fuck, I mean, he was probably there just as often as I was. He made sure I ate, and slept and showered and… and he never once asked for anything in return. He cares about you as much as I do, clearly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to think he’s a good guy….”

You must not care about me that much, you want to say, but you stop yourself. Because it’s not true, and you’d only be saying it to hurt him. You have nothing to defend yourself with, no way to convince him otherwise, and so you just stare at him until he shakes his head and slips back inside.

Ethan is stubborn, he always has been. And it’s a special kind of stubbornness, fueled by anger – so common in most of the young people you meet these days. You understand why they’re all like this. When you’re robbed of your childhood – you get stuck there….waiting….. Like someday you’ll have a chance to do it all over again, regardless of how obvious it is that you won’t.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.�� .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-May 25, 2024-

Things get better, albeit slowly. You begin to wean off the pain medication, which makes you more alert. It’s still difficult to leave your house, but you can move around it more easily, and you don’t spend all your days sleeping. Luckily, you aren’t as stir-crazy as you’d been expecting.

One afternoon, Ellie Williams shows up on your doorstep with a bag full of groceries.

“Maria wanted me to bring these to you,” she says when you open the door. “She told me to tell you she’ll be over tomorrow, but she wanted me to give you these to tide you over.”

“That’s very nice. Thank you for bringing them to me,” you try to take the bag from her hands, but she steps back just a little, like she’s unsure if you should be carrying anything. You let your hands drop to your sides. “Would you like to come in?”

Ellie hesitates for a split second, adjusting the bag in her arms, and then nods. “Sure.”

Stepping to the side, you allow her into the home. Because of how warm it is outside, you’ve opened all the windows to let the breeze through.

“Sorry for the mess,” you say, Ellie following you into the living room. There are stacks of books and pill bottles with instructions scattered on your countertop. You haven’t swept the floors in awhile and all the hard surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust. It’s not really that bad, but you don’t have the energy or strength to be on your feet for long – let alone to clean the house.

“I don’t mind,” Ellie says. “It’s not even that bad. I don’t know why older people worry about leaving your house messy and shit….no offense.”

“There was a time it used to matter,” you tell her. “And I see where you’re coming from, but my thing is – if you’re going to live somewhere, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable.”

Ellie purses her lips, as if you’ve made a good point but she doesn’t know how to answer. Instead, you continue. “Can I get you anything? Water?”

“No, I’m okay,” she puts the bag on your kitchen counter.

“You can sit if you’d like,” you tell her. “I just need a moment to put these away.”

When you walk into your living room a few minutes later, she’s hovering near your record player, looking through the vinyls. The turntable was already in the house when you’d arrived years ago, but it was buried in the closet and broken. Ethan had managed to fix it after a little troubleshooting and scavenging for parts. Now, you both were always looking for records to bring home, and had amassed quite the eclectic collection – jazz, funk, hip-hop, and everything in between.

“Wow,” Ellie says, running her fingers along the shelved records. “You found all these?”

“Some of them were already here. But yeah. Ethan and I are always on the lookout on patrol. I can play you something. What do you like?”

“Eighties, I think,” she says. “But…I also haven’t heard as much.”

“Well here,” you thumb through the records, pull out a worn copy of Speaking In Tongues. “How about some Talking Heads?”

You pass the record over to her, and she stares at you blankly. It’s only then that you realize — she’s never used a record player before. There’s a familiar pang of sadness before you show her how.

“Are you feeling better?” Ellie eyes you wearily once the music starts, and you settle onto the couch, feeling a little worn out after being on your feet.

“Yes,” you say. “I’m older now, so it seems like healing takes a lot more time.”

Ellie nods, then bobs her head to the music a little. “This is better than most of the stuff Joel likes.”

“Oh yeah,” you smirk, and instinctually, you recall his enthusiasm for all things old-school country. “I remember that,” you say softly.

With so much time on your hands lately, you’ve found yourself thinking of Joel a lot, reminiscing on the time you’d spent with him and Sarah. What Ethan had told you about him staying by your side was definitely making you reconsider your assessment of him, even if you were still hesitant. It was probably a trap to think you’d ever be able to feel those things with him again, but if remembering them brought you comfort, you weren’t going to resist it.

“You’re more than welcome to come over to listen anytime,” you offer, and she nods excitedly.

Ellie stays for longer than you expect. You talk a fair bit. She tells you about what she’s learning in school – but mostly how ‘fucking useless’ it is. She wanders around your living room and pokes through your stuff without asking, but you don’t think to stop her – you just answer her questions and let her be curious.

Eventually, the sun dips below the horizon, and she excuses herself to go home, insisting that Joel will ‘fucking kill her’ if she’s out too late. Even though you’re exhausted after entertaining her for a few hours, you find it feels nice. Being on house arrest, essentially, had left your starved for connection outside Maria and Ethan.

You see her out the door before returning to your refrigerator to look for something to eat. Ethan will be back from patrol any minute, so it may be nice to make him something even if you have almost no energy.

But when there’s another knock on your front door, you’re shocked to see who you find staring on your porch.

Joel.

You almost forget to speak at the sight of him. It’s been weeks since your accident and he might as well have moved away from Jackson since you hadn’t seen him at all.

“Hey,” you say, tentatively, taking him in. He seems preoccupied – cheeks flushed, hair rumpled, and out of breath, like he had run all the way to get here.

“Have you seen Ellie?” he asks, not even greeting you in return. “I’ve looked everywhere and I-

“You just missed her,” you cut him off, not because you’re trying to dismiss him, but because he's clearly distressed. “I’m surprised you didn’t see her on your way over.”

Joel sighs, eyes closing in relief. “Thank God.” For a second, you glimpse the frazzled and overworked father you used to know. “She stayed out too late, had me worried sick.”

“She’s fine,” you say. “Although she did say you might kill her if she didn’t get home soon.”

Joel gives you an almost imperceptible smile, but seems mostly irritated by Ellie’s suggestion. “I would do no such thing.” He shakes his head and takes two steps backwards. “Thank you. Didn’t mean to be a bother.”

Your mind floats to a memory of Joel on your front porch, late getting home from work and looking for Sarah, and you can’t help but feel a bit of sadness and longing for a simpler time, a surge of affection.

Joel is halfway down your front porch steps when you speak again. “You aren’t bothering me.”

He pauses, turns to look over his shoulder. There’s something he wants to say, you can feel it, and you step outside, letting the door fall shut behind you and remaining huddled against the siding, and he turns to face you fully, sighing. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, actually….”

“Oh…really?” you can’t keep the surprise from your voice, and he notices.

“Yeah,” Joel rubs his fingers together, a nervous habit of his you know all too well. “Yeah. I- well, I wanted to apologize to you.”

You’re so startled by the words you can’t answer right away. But the split second of hesitation causes Joel to continue, looking to fill the empty space.

“I’ve been waiting to find the right thing to say….but it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen. I’m not even sure I know where to start.”

“Oh,” is all you can manage, still taken aback. The only thing that doesn’t surprise you about his admission is the sincerity. You could say a lot of things about Joel, but he isn’t a liar. He always tells the truth. Maybe it’s why he pulled away from you to begin with. It’s easier than the alternative – spending time with you, which would force him to be honest. For how much you’ve changed, you’d probably do the same.

But the thing with Joel is that you’re exhausted. You’re tired of the back and forth, of the push and pull, of the constant struggle to hold your care over each other's head, hoping the other will break first. Maybe this is a fresh start.

You step closer to him, and you see him study the way you move. Of course, you’re trying to look strong, but he can surely sense the weakness. He’d always been good at that, better than any of the others. Your hand comes to rest on the porch railing for support.

But…..

There’s that voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you this is a mistake. The one that reminds of the pain you’ve often earned through vulnerability. It likes to think it’s served you, protected you, and it has. But it’s not always right.

“I suppose I owe you an apology, too,” you say. “At the very least I should thank you for what you did.”

Joel shakes his head, dismissively, but looks to where your hand rests on the porch railing, looks back up to you as he reaches out. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

His hand clasps over yours, and to anyone else, this might be nothing. It’s so innocent, unassuming. But the effect it has on you is palpable. He squeezes once, and you flip your hand over, squeezing his back, giving him a gentle smile. “I am too.”

Joel’s eyes fill with a warmth you haven’t seen in twenty years, and your stomach flutters, your heart races. A part of yourself that you’d considered long dead seems to rouse.“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“I told Ellie we’d go to the mess hall together,” Joel says. “Otherwise I would.”

You blink once, and Joel sees it, immediately continuing on. “But maybe Ellie and I can come another time, join you and Ethan?”

“Yeah. He’d like that,” you say. “That might be nice.” ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-June 20, 2024-

You think that at the end of a long winter, bears must hate coming out of hibernation.

It must suck. They spend months sleeping, doing almost nothing, and then suddenly they’re forced to function again – to hunt, to eat, to roam, to survive and socialize. You imagine there has to be a learning curve, a desire to crawl back into their den and never leave again.

Or maybe you could be wrong, and they love it. And you’re just a wimp who hates feeling uncomfortable.

All you know is that you’re huddled in the back corner of the Tipsy Bison, nursing a whiskey – and it’s the last place you want to be.

You’re overwhelmed.

And despite the fact that you regularly used to attend community events, it’s been so long since you've been out in Jackson that you feel like you don’t belong. To some extent, you’ve always felt this – too hardened by the outside world to fully assimilate, especially when the town throws dances. But in the past, you at least attempted to convince yourself otherwise.

Two weeks back, the doctors had cleared you to go about your daily activities as normal – within reason, of course – but you hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Tonight, Ethan had accused you of becoming ‘antisocial’ and ‘reclusive’. You had agreed to attend – but only to beat those allegations. So far, you are definitely not.

You scan the crowd, taking in the people spinning around the dance floor. Some of the women are wearing dresses. You can’t help but feel a little envious of how easily they’re able to perform femininity, which is something you’d given up on a while ago. It hadn’t exactly served you before arriving in Jackson, and you predict it would be humiliating to start trying now. After all the things you’d experienced, you were left marred with scars and wrinkles, stretch marks and loose skin. Since then, you’ve remained loyal to the combination of men’s denim and tank tops with flannel-button downs overtop.

It doesn’t always stop the men in the community from descending like vultures. You might be the last pick – there are plenty others who are younger and prettier – but you’re still an option. Bea, your old partner, had always theorized that some men were particularly drawn to sapphic women, that it was ‘the ultimate challenge’. Maybe there is some truth to her theory, but you like men….sometimes. So there is always a part of you that yearns for their validation, for as many times as you tell yourself you don’t want it. But it never feels good to get it after you’ve watched them exhaust all their other options.

It’s pathetic, but it makes you think of Joel. He and Ellie had been over to yours and Ethans last week for a nice dinner, and you had tried to gauge whether there was any romantic connection between you still. Occasionally, you’d caught him looking at you with a wistful smile, but he could have been lost in thought. It’s not like you needed that from him or anything, but it might be useful information. After all this time, Joel is still so handsome, and probably has an impressive selection of potential partners here in Jackson – women of all ages. You hope he’s not here tonight – you can’t see much besides the dance floor at this point – because the thought of him cozied up to anyone here, combined with the acrid taste of the drink in your hand, makes you want to gag.

You take another look around the room. Eugene, your partner in crime – quite literally – is walking towards you, which helps quell your spiraling mind . If you talk to him, say hello to Tommy and Maria, maybe Ethan will see the effort you’re making and you can sneak out without having to deal with anyone. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s worth a shot. The sooner you can get home tonight, the better.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel can’t stop staring.

He knows it’s impolite. He knows that he’s not being subtle. He knows that if any other person in this bar followed his eyeline, they’d pick up on what he was doing in an instant. But every minute he doesn’t get called out for it, he becomes more and more emboldened.

It’s the first dance he’s ever been to in Jackson, and the only reason he’s here is to placate Ellie and Tommy. But even they have abandoned him in favor of better companions – his brother is deep in conversation with Maria, sitting across from him in a booth, and Ellie is out on the dance floor dancing with one of her new friends, Dina.

Joel just can’t help himself. He still feels guilty for what he’s done, but he can’t shake the feeling of a soft hand clasped within his own – the first time he’d felt any semblance of hope since arriving here. Tommy and Maria had already slyly let him know about all the women who were interested, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain their advances. There’s only one he wants, and she won’t even look in his direction.

When he’d first noticed you, you were whispering with Eugene on the opposite side of the dance floor. According to Tommy, you spend a fair bit of your time with the old man, which Joel initially thought to mean that you had some sort of entanglement. At first, Joel thought that couldn’t be possible. But you were deep in focus as you listened to Eugene’s words, nodding and leaning in closer and closer, and Joel thinks Tommy might be right. He wants to understand what you see in this man – tall and unkempt, covered in tattoos with long, graying hair and a beard to match. But Joel catches himself in his judgment, he’s probably just as unappealing – not just because of how he’s aged, but because of how horrible he’s been to you in general.

The next time Joel sees you, you’re at the bar, chatting with a man who Maria had introduced him to not long ago, a resident who is new in town. Joel had been too busy focusing on the fact that he’d been in Jackson long enough to not be its newest resident that he couldn’t remember his name. He wishes he had, so he could keep tabs on him. Of course, he can’t blame the man for being drawn to you – Joel knows very well that you’re hard to miss in a crowd.

Still, Joel bristles when you both step away from the bar, and the man’s hand lands just above your sacrum. He actually finds himself tensing up, resisting the urge to intervene, because it’d likely only make you angry. Plus, maybe you are interested. That question is answered quickly when you reach behind your to clasp the man's hand and place it back at his side. Where it belongs, he thinks.

“Joel!”

He snaps his attention to what’s in front of him – interrupted, and probably for good measure, lest he get himself too worked up. Ethan approaches with a girl his age, her arm linked through his. Joel stands to greet them.

The terse understanding between himself and Ethan while you were still in the hospital had somehow turned into a friendship, especially after they’d begun getting paired up on patrol. Ethan reaches out for Joel’s hand to dap him up, slinging an arm briefly over his shoulder.

“How’s it going, kid?”

“Good, good,” Ethan nods, pulling back, and gestures to the girl next to him. “Joel, this is Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “Ethan’s told me all about you.”

“Really?” Joel asks, feeling a little bewildered.

“Only good things,” Alex says quickly, as if she senses his apprehension. Ethan puts his arm around her waist. Joel recalls a few weeks back when he’d asked for advice on how to ask out a girl. Joel hadn’t pried at the time, but now he seems to understand, and is surprised by the swell of pride he feels. “Ethan says you’re a fucking badass,”she giggles after she swears.

Joel looks over at Ethan. “I don’t know about that.”

He shrugs, changes the subject. “Since when do you come to these things?” Ethan asks.

“Ellie dragged me out,” Joel answers.

“I did the same with my aunt,” Ethan chuckles. “But now I can’t find her, and I’m pretty sure she’s escaped.”

“Oh, is she here?” Joel plays dumb, like he hasn’t been aware of exactly where you have been all night. “I haven’t seen her.”

“I think she was with Eugene earlier,” Alex has to stand on her toes to speak into Ethan’s ear. Joel watches Ethan’s nose wrinkle.

“Do you know Eugene at all?” Ethan turns to Joel. “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on there, but she won’t say anything.”

Joel wishes that he had more information. “Tommy says they seem close.”

“I know that,” Ethan says. “I wish she would just be honest with me. It’s not like I would be mad. Whatever,” he shakes his head. “We can talk about it another time. I just want to find her so I can introduce her to Alex.”

“We should say hi to Tommy and Maria first,” Alex says, and Ethan nods in agreement before saying goodbye to him. Joel claps a hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he moves past him, and Alex gives him a shy smile in acknowledgement.

Focusing back on the crowd, Joel realizes that you’ve vanished in the short span of his last interaction. Maybe you’d rejected that guy, and then he’d retaliated. Maybe you’d gone home with Eugene. Joel shakes his hand. It’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to get involved. It’s not his job to look after you, regardless of how much better he feels when he does. Old instincts. He can’t help himself.

He settles on watching Ellie and Dina spin each other around on the dance floor. Eventually, Tommy and Maria, then Ethan and Alex all trickle out of the booth to go get another round or head to dance. Joel stands to release the booth to someone who actually needs it – and is left in the corner, nursing a nearly empty beer that’s now flat and warm. He looks towards his family and friends, but for some reason, he still feels alone.

Joel isn’t sure how long he stands sulking, but he starts when someone approaches from behind.

“Having fun?”

You’re a pace or two back, one thumb hooked through a belt loop, a whiskey in your opposite hand. Joel looks back at the crowd a moment, then at the ground. “No.”

“Neither am I,” you commiserate, stepping alongside him.

Joel considers offering that Ethan was looking for you, but selfishly does not want to give you a reason to leave, so he stays quiet. You observe the dance floor like he is, smiling slightly at the sight of Ethan and Alex dancing. The flannel you’re wearing over a gray tank hangs loosely off one shoulder, and Joel wants to reach out and touch the exposed skin. You take your last sip of whiskey, bring a finger to swipe under your bottom lip, and Joel wishes he knew what you might taste like right now. He scolds himself for fantasizing.

You don’t speak either, and you stand in silence for a while, until you eventually pop your hip, shifting closer to him. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you’re already standing so close that your arm gets pressed up against his. Neither of you acknowledge the contact, but Joel is acutely aware of how your skin burns hot against his own. He feels comforted by the affection, even if it’s unintentional.

“Want to leave?” Joel asks, and can hardly believe that the words came out of his mouth, even if he wanted them to.

You look over at him, not bothering to hide your surprise, but your expression evens out quickly, and you give him a single nod. “Yeah.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel’s still not convinced this is real. It feels too much like a dream, the weather outside is so pleasantly warm it feels like he’s floating as you walk down the street. He had never expected you to agree to leave with him, and now he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.

The greater distance you put between yourselves and the bar, the quieter the town is. Most of Jackson’s residents are at the dance, save for the guards at the front gate and the handful of people that had been mingling just outside.

He heads in the general direction of the neighborhood, even though he lives on a different street.

“What are we supposed to do now?” you wonder out loud, and you sound a little incredulous, like you’re equally as shocked to find yourself beside him. The question carries a bit more weight than it would have coming from anyone else.

Joel contemplates. He’s not sure what he wants from you – there are a lot of things, actually – but he doesn’t know if he really deserves any of them. For now, your companionship is more than enough.

“You’re welcome to come back to mine,” he offers. “But if you’re looking to keep drinking, all the booze is back at the bar.”

“I’m good.” You shake your head like you’re uninterested, but look over at him with a sparkle in your eye. “I have something better….”

You reach into the pocket of your flannel and produce a rolled joint between two fingers, looking over your shoulder. “Those dances are usually terrible, so I always come prepared.”

Joel can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and the sheepish grin he gets in return makes his cheeks feel warm. “Where’d you even get that?”

“You’ve never been on patrol with Eugene, have you?” you ask. “He has a place just out of town where he grows it. I’ve been helping him since we first got paired up, and in exchange, I get to sample the supply.”

Of course. Joel would’ve never imagined that was the reason you were so close with Eugene, but it suddenly makes incredible sense. He shakes his head in a combination of relief and amusement. “You really haven’t changed.”

“Oh, I’m sure I have,” you answer, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground. “But of course I haven’t shaken all my bad habits.”

“That’s not true,” Joel mutters.

“Well, you haven’t changed either, for as much as you’ve tried to convince me,” you nudge him gently, offering him the joint. “What do you think?”

Joel plucks it from between your fingers and puts it between his lips. “I think I have a lighter at home.”

“Sounds perfect.”

In the front hallway of his house, you slip out of your tennis shoes, shuffling behind him in your socks, pausing occasionally to study some of the doodles that Ellie had drawn and hung on the walls – it wasn’t exactly a priority to decorate these days, but they certainly livened up the place. He knows how much Ellie likes you, despite the fact that she doesn’t gush, but the odd comment here and there says as much. Joel remembers how difficult it had been to keep Sarah away, and Ellie now is no different. He doesn’t seem to be able to help himself, either.

You sit next to Joel on his wicker couch, curling your feet up under you as he lights the joint and study him while he takes the first few puffs. He does it without thinking. That’s how soft Jackson has made him. Normally, he’d be too stressed about being out of his wits. But he can’t see how hypervigilance has served him since settling down. He feels safe here, and somehow especially because he’s with you.

When he passes the joint your way, you look at him wistfully. “Old times,” you say with a grin.

Joel nods as he exhales, coughing. “Old times.”

“Oh yeah,” you say, as if you just remembered something. “You can’t tell Ethan about this. He doesn’t know, and he will give me shit about it. I need him to take me seriously.”

Joel shakes his head. “Well, you know, it sounds like he and Tommy both think you and Eugene are together.”

“What?” your head jerks forward in shock, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, no. Do people think that?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Joel wants to mention how he had seen you whispering to each other at the bar earlier, but then realizes it’d give a bit too much away. “That’s what they think.”

“Well....historically speaking I might’ve liked older men…. but not that old.”

Joel purses his lips. “You’ve lived here awhile, huh?” When you nod, he continues. “Has no one caught your eye?”

“Uhm….not really. But….” you trail off, looking into Joel’s backyard. “To be completely honest, I don't think about that much these days. I guess I feel like I have a lot to be grateful for. I don’t want to push it.”

Joel understands, and nods pensively.

“What about you?” you ask.

“I guess I feel the same.”

That causes you to smile a little bit, look over at him. “I bet you already know this. But the women here would line up down the block for you.”

Joel can’t help but roll his eyes, though he wonders if you would, too. Even if you did like him, that didn’t seem like your style.

“I’m serious. I’ve heard the things they whisper behind your back. All their fantasies about you are pretty creative...”

“Fantasies?” He grimaces. He imagines none of them know anything about who he really is. You’re the closest thing, and all he’s done is hurt you. “I’m sure you were quick to set them straight.”

“I don’t say anything,” you say, then continue on, a little quieter, looking at him from under your lashes. “I like to keep you to myself.”

Joel isn’t sure how to respond to that. You have every right to tell all of them that you were once together, and all the ways he’s hurt you since. Yet for some reason, you’ve chosen to protect him.

“So….all this time….” you wonder. “You had to have been with other people, right?”

Joel doesn’t think to hold back. “I had a partner for a long time. Tess. First, it was all business, I helped her smuggle things in and out of the Boston QZ…and then, I don’t know….we got along, we trusted each other and…” Joel trails off, hoping you’d put together the rest before he has to go into too much detail. “She was real fuckin’ tough. Scared me a little at first. You would’ve liked her.”

“Well, we already have one thing in common. What happened?”

“She’s the whole reason I ended up out here….with Ellie,” Joel explains. “But I lost her a little over a year ago.”

He hopes you don’t ask how. Maybe someday he’d be willing to go into detail, but talking about it generally is hard enough as it is. But fortunately, you seem to pick up on his hesitance. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you say softly.

He shakes his head. “I was an asshole. To her. I should've....after Sarah died I didn’t want to get attached, so I kept her at arms length and I... I wished I hadn’t in the end. It only made things worse.”

“Yeah,” you nod, look down. “I’ve made that mistake before.”

Joel doesn’t want to linger any longer on the memory. “What about you? Were you with anyone?”

“Uhm, yeah,” you fidget, looking uncomfortable. “I had a partner….for like ten years."

Ten years? He had been with Tess for more, but something about that information feels jarring. He’s shocked Tommy never told him this. Did Tommy even know? Suddenly, it dawns on Joel everything that could’ve happened to you since you’ve been apart. Entire lifetimes. And he’d said such horrible things when you’d fought. He remembers your face when he’d told you that you didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. Maybe you had. He’d been so cruel and inconsiderate just because he was uncomfortable.

His throat feels tight, almost scared to learn anymore. “What…what was his name?”

“Well, Bea….was her name.”

Joel is sure he doesn't hide the shock well. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don’t think I did either. Well, I sort of did, but I was too young I think when I first realized to make any sense of it, but…. I met her and…yeah,” then, you smirk. “I mean, I went to an all-girls school and I had a really bad relationship with my dad so…it definitely makes sense. ”

Joel considers this, smiles along with you. “But anyways. Her and I met shortly after my brother died and it was kind of the same. We kept each other alive, things developed from there. We ended up getting involved with this group who lived in the middle of nowhere. That’s a whole other story, but…” you wave your hand. “I loved her, and I lost her right before Ethan and I got here.”

Joel sees all the pain in your eyes, and wishes he could say something to take it all away. He knows he can’t. You look back out into the woods in his backyard, take a deep breath, and reach back towards the joint that you had put out not long before, lighting it again. Joel gets the sense that both of you had done the most amount of sharing possible for the time being.

“Look at us,” you take another drag before passing it over. “Old times.”

“Old times,” he repeats, a smile working its way onto his face.

“This used to be my favorite thing to do with you.”

“It was nice,” Joel agrees….hesitates before continuing. “But I can think of some things I liked better.” He gives you a knowing look, and you roll your eyes, laughing easily at his joke. It feels so good to make you laugh, to see you smile. Why had he spent so much time resisting?

“Touche.”

What happens next spills out of Joel so quickly he doesn’t think to stop it. “I tried to look for you….after all this happened. I didn’t have Sarah anymore, and I thought maybe….I don’t know. It was the only thing that kept me going for a while.”

“I did too,” you confess. “But…I was with Vincent and Ethan, and I felt like I couldn’t leave them alone for something that might just be…. I always hoped you both made it. And I’m so sorry she’s gone. I really did love her.”

“I know you did,” Joel reaches out to take your hand. “I know. And I shouldn’t have said those things I did. I’m still not sure why you’ve been so patient with me.”

“Hmm,” you shift so that you’re closer to him. “You waited around for me back then. It’s only fair that I’d wait around for you now. I want you in my life. I don’t care what that looks like. But it’s too hard to forget about a person that you loved.”

Joel wants as much from you as you’re willing to give, and he can’t tear his gaze away from you. But he wants you to see him, all of him, before he takes it.

“I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve done a lot of h-horrible things,” his voice cracks, and tears well in his eyes.

“I have, too, you know? Those things still live with me. But I think what matters is who we are now,” you reach out, fingertips brushing the scar on his temple, and Joel swears that even if you don’t know the story behind it, you can see right through him. “And I know who you are.”

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”

“You won’t,” you say. “No more than anyone else has. And if it makes you feel better…when people hurt me, I’ve gotten pretty good at hurting them back.”

“If I do, I’d hope you would.”

“I will. I promise,” your thumb strokes his cheek, marveling at him. “I would suggest a blood oath or something but….I heard we kind of already did that…”

He’s given you every warning, every barrier, and you’re still here. He can’t believe it, and he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer. “Come here.”

He kisses you. He wishes that he could be slow and tender and gentle like he used to be – and certainly he’s still capable, but he realizes that he’s been depriving himself of something he wanted for so long, and can’t seem to control himself.

Your hands land on the side of his face, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Maybe you’re somewhat taken aback by his urgency, you hum against his lips, but you don’t resist at all. Joel maneuvers you so you’re straddling his thighs, and he grips your hips, your ass, coasts his hands up your side. Your lips part in a moan, and he slips his tongue into your mouth.

For a while, he stays there, savors the taste of you, whiskey and smoke still lingering on your lips. His hands cup your jaw, feel your body, grip and squeeze and stroke and you let him, continue to let him. He tries everything, wondering if you’ll tell him to stop, if you’ll decide you’ve had too much, but you don’t. Then again, he should know by now that you’re a woman who knows what she wants. He just finds it’s hard to believe that he’s the thing you want.

You break away from him, just a little, and Joel presses his nose to your neck, kisses your pulse point.

“Should we go upstairs?” your voice is raspy and breathless. “Will Ellie be home soon?”

“Probably not for a while. We can be quick.”

“Hopefully not too quick,” you raise your eyebrows. Joel can’t help but laugh a little. He relishes in the way your hands rake up and down his arms, exploring him, touching him. Of course he wants you, but even just this would be enough. He’d be content with less, he hadn’t realized how starved of affection he’d been.

You’re able to pry yourselves off one another to make it up the stairs, and Joel guides you with a hand to the small of your back. When you get to his bedroom, he opens the door, but stops you before you go inside.

“Hold on,” Joel mutters, winding one arm around your waist, the other behind your knee.

“Joel, what-no, you’ll–” he pulls you into his arms.

“Do you really think I’m not strong enough?”

“I didn’t say that,” you chuckle as he carries you over the threshold and into the bedroom, breath puffing against him before he lays you down on the bed.

When he hovers over you, your fingers wind into his hair, nails raking against his scalp. He savors every sweet sigh he’s able to pull from you, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips. You’re so pliant and open beneath his body, it makes it easier to not feel guilty about what he’s doing. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve said as much, but it might take some time before the feeling will die completely. Hopefully, he has enough time with you to see it off completely.

Clothes are removed quickly, intentionally, as you both bare more and more of yourself to each other. And while he wishes he could’ve been there to see the ways in which your body has changed, you’re still as beautiful as ever.

Joel, however, is hesitant to give himself away completely. When you tug at the hem of his shirt, he hesitates.

“I don’t know if-” he pauses. “If you want to see all that.”

“Joel,” you stare at him knowingly, kneeling across from him as he stands at the edge of the bed. “I do.”

So he releases your hand, and lets you pull it over his head. Carefully, you study him, his body littered with scars. He knows he’s not as in shape as you remember. These days, he hardly can look at himself in the mirror after a shower. He expects you to be disgusted, or at least see it flit across your face before you compose yourself, but you don’t. Your fingertips drag through the smattering of hair on his chest and down his torso, tracing several prominent scars – each one with a story – but you linger on the one at his abdomen, frowning.

He sees the question on your face, but you don’t ask it. Instead, you return to press yourself against him. “I’m so glad you’re still here….”

You kiss him, then, and Joel can only kiss you back.

Joel isn’t the only one with battle scars. Some of them he feels are his fault, but you seem less self-concious about them, which gives him a surprising amount of confidence. Maybe it’s just a reality of what happens when you make it this long.

When you’re finally bare beneath him, he admires how you look, stretched out and waiting, chest heaving and shivering with anticipation. He slides his hand between your legs – feels you already wet and warm, sinking two fingers inside. Your walls flutter around the intrusion, back arcing off the bed when you sigh out his name. Joel.

He’d forgotten how nice it felt to hear that.

Joel is already thinking about what he’d like to do to you next time. He’d be more careful, more patient. He’d bury his face between your thighs to see if you tasted as good as he remembers, he’d let your fingers curl into his hair. But right now you both seem desperate for the same thing.

He pumps his cock a few times with his hand, he can’t remember the last time he’d been this hard – the last time he’s wanted anyone this badly. Even with Tess, it had always felt like the both of them were hurrying to scratch an itch, her eyes would wander like she was thinking of other people, and maybe he was, too.

Joel lines himself up with your slick cunt, teases you a little, and you roll your body down to meet him, gasping when his blunt head slides in – just a little.

He can’t hold back. You practically suck him in, so tight and hot around him he finds it immediately overwhelming, but he doesn’t even think to pull out. Only when he’s fully seated inside you, and given you a chance to adjust, does he start to move.

It’s euphoric. You’re both older now, more mature, but he still remembers all the things you liked, even if it takes a moment for him to find the spot inside you that makes you cry out, legs wrapping around his hips.

Unlike before, you don’t bother trying to hide from him. You kiss him, hold him, touch him, look him in the eyes, tell him how good he feels – you don’t hold back. Joel relishes every word you say, clings to the praise and gives it back. Your lashes flutter when he tells you how pretty you look.

He can think of nothing else other than bringing you pleasure, can tell you’re getting close when you begin to rut against him, and he reaches down to let the pads of his fingers slide over your clit.

When you come, you whine his name, lock your lips with his own and he swallows your moans. The feeling of you so impossibly tight and wet and pulsing and squeezing him so tightly has him following closely after.

His head is still buried in the crook of your neck when you speak again. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

The second Joel pulls out, he starts missing how close he felt to you. But you fix that by rolling over onto your stomach, curling up at his side, head on his chest, and arm across his stomach.

“Joel. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

He’s far from it. But he’s starting to think if you say it enough, maybe he’ll start to believe it. He turns his head to kiss you gently, slowly. “So are you.”

“We can do this again, right?” you ask.

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, we can.”

“Good,” you settle back against him, and very slowly, he dozes off with you right beside him. He doesn’t want to sleep alone again, and luckily, he doesn’t have to.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-December 4th, 2026-

When you return home from patrol, you find Joel in his living room – boots off and socked feet propped on the arm of the couch. You don’t notice his eyes are closed, that he’s asleep, until you get closer, see the book he’d been reading resting on his chest as he snores lightly. You can’t help but feel for him – he’s probably exhausted from constant patrols, so he must be tired.

But mostly, you’re just overwhelmed by the love you feel for him, catching him in a quiet moment of vulnerability. Hesitantly, you reach out and squeeze his foot. It’s gentle and tender enough that he blinks his eyes open and looks around, taking in his surroundings, rather than jolting awake like he often does. When he sees you on the opposite end of the couch, he melts back into the pillow he’s propped against.

“Hey, stud,” you lean against the arm of the couch.

“Hey,” Joel answers, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long was I out?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just got in.”

“Hmm,” Joel closes his eyes again, folds his hands across his stomach.

“You’re wearing the glasses I got you,” you point out. They’re simple. Rectangular black frames. You’d found them on patrol, and brought them home after Joel had been complaining that he could barely see when he read before bed. But he’d tried them on and insisted he hated the way they looked, so you’d ended up using them most of the time.

“They do work,” he grumbles, like he’s ashamed to admit it. “But I still think they look stupid.”

“You look like a sexy librarian,” Joel rolls his eyes, but you can tell he’s suppressing a grin. There’s always a bit of defiance about him, he can’t fully admit how you get him so flustered even after you’ve spent so much time together. You press your thumb into the arch of his foot and he groans. “That feel good?” you ask.

“Yes.”

“Whatcha reading?” You gesture towards the book.

“Some book about the moon landing,” Joel lifts it off of his chest, where it lay face down and open, looks at the back cover. “For Ellie.”

“How sweet.”

“It’s a little dry,” he deadpans. “But she likes this stuff.”

You shift your massage to his other foot. Joel stretches, his arms lifting above his head, the shirt he’s wearing rides up just so, so you see a sliver of his lower belly before it disappears again, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Are you tired?” you ask.

“Always,” he says through a yawn.

“Me too,” you yawn along with him, since they’re contagious. He pulls the glasses from their perch on the bridge of his nose and shuts the book, placing them both on the coffee table in front of him. You take your hands off his feet and he sits up a little straighter, holding out his hand.

“Come ‘ere,” he says, and you do.

He grunts as you settle into his arms, head nestled against his chest, sprawling out almost on top of him, the only way you both can fit like this on the couch.

“You’re so warm,” you say softly, letting him wrap his arms around you.

“You’re cold. Your hands are freezing,” he holds them in his own.

“It’s cold out.”

“Don’t know why you left today.”

“Obligations. Patrol.”

“Fuck that.”

You laugh into his chest, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I think we might be boring.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, we don’t really leave the house. We spend all day reading. And we’re old.”

“We’re not that old.”

“But we’re getting up there.”

“Sure, but…” Joel trails off.

“Everything’s so quiet, so calm.”

“I think that’s what most people would describe as content.”

“Are you content?” you ask, lifting your head to look him in the eyes.

“I’m happy,” he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. “Are you?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then don’t worry about the rest.”

“Okay,” you settle back against your husband's chest, feel his lips brush your forehead.

His fingers search absentmindedly for the ring on your finger he’d found while clearing out a pawn shop not too long ago. The one he wore looked nothing like your own. But the marriage had been long overdue, and neither of you cared what the rings actually looked like.

Nowadays, you split your time between his place with Ellie, and your own with Ethan, but end up in his bed every night. At this point, you don’t think you could sleep without him.

Years ago, another lifetime, you’d had a conversation underneath a sky full of stars. You’d told him that for you, good things had never lasted. Joel had made a promise.

This will.

It took time. There was a lot of pain. But in the end, he had told you the truth.

618 notes · View notes

jessikahathaway · 1 year

Text

Roomie - PJM (M)

Okay, to be fair. I did get a little unhinged with this. But I wanted Roomie Jimin smut something fierce so here it is.

This is pretty unedited, other than the lovely @quirkybtsarmy taking a look at it for me. Thank you babes I appreciate you!

Pairing: Park Jimin X Fem!Reader

Genre: Slice of Life!AU, Roommates!AU, Romance, Smut

Warnings: Reader is BLuNt (but she tries very hard to explain, she's not mean about it), it's pretty much pwp with a zesting of story. Also Jimin is bisexual, but reader is awks and makes some kinda ignorant assumptions (she really means well, she's just emotionally constipated dw dw). Smut warnings: Jimin's Filthy Mouth (this mans ya'll I can't resist-), penetrative sex, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex (she's on the pill and all but for the love of everything use protection I stg I'm watching you, be safe for me pls), creampie, multiple orgasms, Seulgi seeing reader's puppy eyes for JM three thousand miles away.

Words: 9.9k (it's pwp... *nervous sweating*)

Rating: 18+

I don't know how I feel about this story, but I wanted to post cause I finished something and it hasn't been fifty years since my last update.

Pls enjoy, if it makes no sense I'm sorry-

Summary: After a disappointing slew of failed sexual escapades, you find yourself willing to do some crazy things.

Falling for your roommate not included.

Another failed sexual encounter.

That makes four in the past two months!

Now, you weren’t really one to sleep around too much. But, hell, it’s your second to last year of your undergrad and life just fucking sucked. Too much work, too little sleep. It was all fucking ridiculous to be completely honest and all you wanted was a good lay.

Apparently, college fuck boys aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

At least, not the ones you’ve gotten it on with.

You unlocked your dingy apartment and kicked your heeled boots off.

It was barely past one in the morning and your roommate was probably asleep.

Sweet Jimin.

Well, sometimes. Other times he was savage asshole Jimin but he didn’t usually make an appearance unless you’d left your laundry in the washer...

Again.

Jimin had been your roommate since the beginning of undergrad and he’d been a saving grace for you. You wouldn’t consider the two of you best of friends, but you were closer than most. Your undergraduate program was forensics with the interest of going into some kind of criminal justice but anthropology had more promising opportunities in regards to pay... Needless to say, Jimin being a performing arts major was definitely a reprieve from the stuffy labs and beakers you found yourself surrounded by on the daily.

You winced as you sat down on the couch.

Honestly, you should’ve just left when the dude said you were wet enough without lube.

“Fucking assholes,” you growled, trying to sit comfortably.

“We’ve all got one,” Jimin chuckled from his bedroom doorway.

You shot him a glare, grimacing at the pain in your thighs and vagina.

When you say you want someone to destroy you, you at least expect a little pleasure with that experience. Fuck...

Now, you’ve had good sex in the past. You’ve definitely had men make you cum, more than once. But the last time that had happened was getting further and further away.

The sexy as fuck librarian at home, Kim Namjoon, had rearranged your guts after a cute little coffee date. Needless to say, you’d gladly let him destroy you again.

“-okay?”

“Huh?” you said lamely, turning your head to fully look at your roommate.

Jimin just sighed before coming over to you to sit next to you on the couch. His weight jostled you and made you huff in discomfort.

“I asked, if you were okay?” he said, crossing one leg over the other as he lounged against the back of your couch.

You frowned, crossing your arms in obvious annoyance. “No, I’m not okay. Men around here don’t seem to understand that condoms may come with a little bit of lube but that doesn’t mean I’m wet enough to be fucked like a fucking ragdoll for five minutes.”

Jimin winced at your phrasing. You sighed and waved your hand. “Sorry,” you said, rubbing your face.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked, raising a brow.

“Cause you don’t want to hear about the woes of a stupidly horny female undergrad,” you said.

Jimin had only ever dated men, at least in the time you’ve known him. And that’s been the past three and a half years. You’d never explicitly asked him his sexual orientation, because it really didn’t matter to you. He was a good person, so who he dated wasn’t really your business.

“If the horny female undergrad is you then I do want to hear it,” he said, pinching your cheek affectionately.

You slapped his hand away and nodded, acquiescing to his request of ‘tea’.

“You remember when I went home for Easter? I had sex with Namjoon?” you said, already drooling at the memory.

“The guy you wouldn’t shut up about for three weeks? Yeah, I remember his ‘god tier’ dick,” he sighed.

“It’s almost new years... and he’s the last guy who made me cum,” you pouted.

Jimin’s eyes widened, then his face turned confused. “But... But you’ve brought a couple guys home since then. I know that for damn sure,” he said.

“Just because I brought them home doesn’t mean they made me cum, Jimin,” you sighed, rubbing your forehead.

All you wanted was some good dick, was that too much to ask for?

“Damn, that’s shitty... I’m sorry, Y/N, really,” he said, patting your shoulder.

You leaned forward on your knees, not without a flash of pain on your face. Jimin rubbed your back soothingly.

“Jeez, did this guy fuck you with a pole? Why do you keep making that face?” he asked.

“Remember when I said men around here don’t know what lube is?” you asked, resting your face in your hands.

“You’re shitting me...”

“Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’ for dramatic effect.

“Who is he? I’ll show him what fucking lube is while I fuck him up the ass without it,” he grumbled, feeling how tense your lower back was.

You snorted, leaning into him comfortably. His gentle rubbing was helping your pain just a smidge. “Doesn’t matter, I’ll just soak in the tub for a minute and hopefully that’ll help,” you said.

“Seems like a bummer since you didn’t even get to cum from it,” he frowned.

“Sure is,” you said, letting out a big sigh into the dim light of your apartment.

Jimin just let you sit there for a minute, his hand releasing some of the tension from your aching muscles. You felt your eyes getting droopy and Jimin chuckled. “Come on, Y/N, you’ll be pissed at me if I let you sleep out here, get up,” he encouraged, moving to pull you up.

You let out a soft yelp of pain, thighs cramping up and causing you to stumble into Jimin’s arms like some stupid rom-com. Jimin’s face widened in panic as he grabbed you, trying to see what hurt. “Shit! I’m sorry! I didn’t think it was that bad, oh Y/N...”

You pouted up at him and Jimin just sighed before hauling you up into his arms. A sharp squeak left your throat as you clung to him so you didn’t fall. “Don’t squirm like that or your ass is going to hurt more than it already does,” he scolded.

Biting your lower lip you just nodded, resting against him as he carried you to your room. Jimin tossed some comfortable clothes to you, a simple pair of panties and one of his old t-shirts you’d stolen at some point. He claimed it didn’t fit anymore and offered it to you when he’d found you wearing it on laundry day.

If he was being honest, he just liked seeing you in his clothes. You had a cute ass that was barely covered by that shirt and fuck if he wasn’t going to take advantage of that, especially since you were clueless to his attraction to you.

It was true Jimin had only dated men since you’d moved in with him. But, what you didn’t know was his last relationship before your friendship had been with a woman. And it had ended pretty badly. She’d kicked him out of their apartment and he’d been homeless for about two months before his friend, Taehyung, had needed a roommate in the apartment you two now shared.

He’d been a little adverse to women since his ex fucked him over, and he’d been openly bisexual for years so he’d dated men and hooked up with men exclusively for the past couple years. But you were making him want to start considering women again.

Although, he didn’t really want to rush into anything with you. And it was certainly fun to tease you with lingering touches and watch your flustered expressions.

Jimin wasn’t an idiot. He knew you found him attractive, you were the one putting a label on him, and he wasn’t going to correct you until you openly asked.

He may be a touch of a sadist in his spare time.

“Do you want some painkillers?” Jimin asked, tossing the clothes he’d picked at you.

“Yeah, can you grab me some while I get these on?” You asked, reaching for your makeup wipes.

“Sure thing,” he said, nodding and heading to the bathroom. You tossed your other clothes in the hamper and managed to tug the new panties on without much ceremony. You were sore, but the pain was dulling as you moved around a bit.

You bent over to grab the t-shirt off the ground, it fell when you’d clambered out of bed to change.

And Jimin had never been more thankful for his timing.

Your perky ass greeted him as he came back into your room with a cup of water and tylenol. Jimin smirked and let out a low whistle as he blatantly stared at your panty clad behind.

You jumped up and covered your chest with the t-shirt. “Hey! D-Don’t whistle at me!” you puffed your cheeks out in irritation and Jimin just laughed.

“Sorry, I was just appreciating the view,” he said, walking past you and setting the medicine and water on your bedside table.

“You can’t appreciate the true glory that is my ass,” you rolled your eyes.

“Wanna bet? Drop your panties and I’ll show you how much I appreciate it,” he said, eyes sharp as he looked over his shoulder at you.

Your throat tightened.

Jimin made comments like this sometimes and it always made your chest throb... and, uh, other areas. Because he looked like he was serious.

“Don’t tease me,” you said, shooing him with your hand that wasn’t desperately holding the shirt to cover your chest.

He raised a brow before making a noise of acknowledgment. “If you say so,” he said, waving before turning and heading towards the door.

Just before you dropped your shirt to put it on you heard Jimin’s voice from the hall. “I know how to use lube if you ever want a demonstration!” he called.

After that you heard the sound of his door shutting.

And the sound of your heart beating really,

Really

Fucking loud.

You sat in the cafeteria after another brutal lecture.

Mid-terms were coming up and then winter break would begin and you’d go home to see your family for a week or two.

You’d already drank three iced coffees and were considering a redbull when you felt the urge to pee. With a heavy sigh you grabbed your stuff and headed to the bathroom.

You walked in and the sound of soft smacking filled your ears.

“Fuck, you taste so good, Jimin~” a sweet voice called.

Jimin?!

You looked in the mirror and saw a pretty girl pressed up against the bathroom wall, but more importantly you saw your roommate. Park Jimin, with his tongue shoved halfway down this girl's throat.

In your stupor you’d forgotten to grab the door, and it slammed closed after your entrance.

Jimin and the girl jumped apart, both flushed with puffy, kiss swollen lips.

His shirt was rumpled from her hands and his hair was slightly tousled like she’d had her hands in it.

The girl coughed awkwardly. “S-Sorry, we’ll head out,” she said, rubbing her neck awkwardly.

“Uh, it’s fine,” you said, swallowing hard.

“Sorry, Y/N,” Jimin said, fixing his shirt a bit.

Jimin’s make out buddy looked at him in confusion. “You know her?” she asked. It wasn’t offended, just curious.

“Yeah, we’re roommates,” he said with a gentle tone. “She’s cool.”

You nodded slowly. “Y-Yeah, if you need the apartment no big deal. I’ll be studying with Yena tonight pretty late so, yeah. Um, cool,” you said, giving them a little thumbs up before hurrying past and into a stall.

You heard them leave the bathroom and you weren’t sure why your heart was beating so fast.

With frantic fingers you dialed the only person who could make heads or tails of this situation.

Jimin’s ex, Min Yoongi.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

Yoongi and Jimin had ended things pretty amicably and you two had gotten close during their six month relationship.

“I just saw Jimin kiss a girl,” you said. “Full on, his put his tongue in her mouth what-”

“Are you really calling me to tell me my ex is kissing a girl? What part of this sounded like a good idea to you-?”

“I always thought he... didn’t swing that way?” you winced at your phrasing. Words weren’t your strong suit.

“Y/N, did you ever ask him?” Yoongi sighed, no doubt rubbing his face in annoyance like he always does when you’re being obtuse.

“I didn’t want to be creepy! That’s not exactly a conversation that comes up too often!”

“It does if you have a crush on them,” he pointed out.

You were about to argue when you found that... the fucker was right.

Ever since you’d moved in with Jimin, you’d found him attractive. He was charismatic, funny and kind. He was comfort embodied and he was always there if you needed him.

But he’d never expressed interest in you and then you saw his boyfriends and one night stands and... well, made an assumption.

“So... all this time I could’ve gotten his dick-”

“I’m gonna hang up,” Yoongi warned.

“No! Wait, wait, I’m sorry, I need advice, serious advice,” you begged.

“If you’re going to ask how to seduce my ex, it won’t take much,” he said, chuckling.

“Huh?” you said, head turning to the side like a confused puppy.

Yoongi sighed loudly into the phone and shook his head.

Always so emotionally constipated, you were.

“He likes you, we broke up because we both knew that firstly: we’d work better as friends, and two: he was thirsting over his female roommate.”

The words shocked you to the core.

“B-But he was kissing-”

“When did Jimin and I break up? Three months ago or something, right?” he asked, even though he knew the answer.

“Yeah, why?” you huffed.

“Jesus, Y/N, if you’d been pining after someone and they weren’t getting the hint wouldn’t you try to move on too?” he said.

“Move on!? But he never said-”

“You know the last time he dated a woman she left him homeless,” Yoongi said, quietly. “It really fucked him up for a while. She wasn’t the nicest, from what I understand. But, that’s a conversation for him to have with you... not me,” he stated.

Your heart cracked a bit at the thought of someone betraying Jimin and making him suffer.

“If you’re serious about him, let him know. If not, let him down easy. I gotta go, Y/N, good luck...”

Apparently Jimin didn’t wind up needing the apartment that night.

Cause when you walked in at damn near midnight, strung out on caffeine you found him curled up on the couch watching a tv show comfortably.

“Hey,” you called, toeing off your shoes before heading into the living room with him.

Jimin turned, giving you a kind grin before patting the couch next to him. You crawled up onto the cushions before falling into his lap in a heap.

He was startled for a moment before he patted your shoulder.

“I’m dumb,” you mumbled into his thigh.

“I can neither agree nor disagree without the appropriate information,” he said, trying not to laugh at your obvious distress.

“Park Jimin, if the following words offend you I apologize but I’m on almost twenty four hours of no sleep and I’m crashing from my third Red Bull of the evening so please, understand any ability to form coherent statements is far beyond me,” you sighed.

Jimin raised a brow, you were still talking to his thigh. “I understand, but I don’t think you’ll offend me, Y/N.”

“Jimin,” you said, finally lifting your head so your tired gaze would match with his.

Yena hadn’t helped much other than saying you needed to talk to him.

She was far more forward with her feelings than you. She was unapologetically herself and it was something you loved and envied about her.

“What’s up?” Jimin asked.

Your heart was in your throat.

You just had to be thoughtful about how you asked these questions-

“Are you gay?” You asked, completely monotone and the look on Jimin’s face made you wince.

“Right to the chase, huh?”

“S-Sorry, I’m not-fuck… I’m just, I want…”

Jimin watched you flounder for a moment. Your face was panicked and embarrassed as you scrambled to explain yourself.

“I’m not, at least. Not entirely,” he said, leaning back with you half in his lap.

Your face was dumbstruck as you looked at him.

“N-No?” You asked.

Jimin smiled and tucked some of your hair behind your ear. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I lost my virginity to a woman. But my first love was a man. But, as of recently I can see how my sexuality would sway towards one gender,” he said. “Her name was Lyla, she was a few years older than me. And she broke my heart, badly too. She was obsessed with her image, she made me so self conscious… I wasn’t happy with her but she wanted me cause I was a good lay and I’m attractive. She didn’t want me,” he said, rubbing your arm. “She wanted superficial parts of me, but not my issues and certainly not my feelings. Just my body.”

“That’s fucking gross,” you pouted, resting your head in his shoulder. “You’re a person, not some fuck doll.”

“Well I do like being a fuck doll sometimes,” he winked, but he squeezed your shoulder. “She kicked me out and I had nothing and no one. I was lucky to find Taehyung and this place. When he left I found you and now here you are,” he said.

“Here I am…” you said, voice weak.

“And I’m so glad that you are,” he said. “Nothing’s boring with you around.”

You gave a sheepish look. “So…”

“So?” He asked. “Is there a reason you asked me about my sexuality?”

Your palms were sweating as you looked at him.

“I like you…”

Jimin’s face morphed from his teasing grin to a soft smile.

“Yeah? That’s cute,” he said.

“So…”

“So?”

You huffed in annoyance, he just kept poking you right in that tender spot of your pride. You just wanted him… not for his body or his face or whatever.

You wanted his puffy face in the morning while he made coffee. His laughter that made his whole body shake. You wanted to kiss him and to hold him close.

“Will you go on a date with me?” You asked, eyes big as they looked up at Jimin’s. His heart stammered for a moment.

Your sweet face and voice asking so nicely.

“Mmm, maybe. What are you planning?”

You made a noise of protest. “H-Hey! You can’t ask before you agree, you should be interested in doing stuff with me… if you want to date me,” you said. “You don’t have to of course if you want me to forget it and leave then-”

“Y/N, I’m teasing you,” he said. “I’ll go on the date. When and where?”

Your face was comically twisted into shock. “You’ll go?”

He smirked a bit. “Did you want me to say no?”

“Didn’t want you to… but I wasn’t expecting a yes,” you said, bottom lip between your teeth as you struggled to keep yourself from fidgeting.

“Well, you got one,” he said, leaning closer. “So when and where?”

You thought for a moment. “You have a showcase coming up right?”

Jimin seemed confused but nodded. “Yeah, in a week, why?”

“After, want to get drinks with me?” You asked, looking anywhere but his lips.

“Drinks, huh?” He nodded. “Sounds good to me, I’ll send you the info for the showcase. You can meet me after?”

“The showcase is free for students, right?” You asked.

Jimin chuckled and nodded. “Yes, but the arts is generally not visited often by the science majors,” he said.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t start,” you pouted.

“You’re right,” Jimin said with a big smile, one that was mirrored on your face.

And you could feel the blooms of something yet to be named fluttering in your chest.

—

You were sure if you should buy flowers for him or not.

Was it too much?

But showing up empty handed seemed ridiculous.

Without much more thought put into it you grabbed a nice bouquet of flowers and paid for them, getting into the car to head to the showcase.

You were crammed between a woman who was obviously here for her granddaughter, seeing as how she literally said her name every two seconds, and a very uninterested teen.

But you held your flowers and waited.

Now, you’d never really been one for the arts or theater, but you respected those in their fields. You surely couldn’t do it, but as you watched Jimin take the stage with his partner you saw what it meant.

Every beat of the song, every extension of his fingers had a purpose. There was a message he was conveying.

The beautiful orchestral piece they were playing made a tear come to your eye. They danced like they wouldn’t get to do it again, like separating their hands for an instant was too much to ask.

As the strings settled and the piano took over you watched in amazement as the pair fell to the ground gracefully, reaching for each other but their hands never touched again.

The room erupted into applause and you found yourself doing the same.

You knew Jimin could dance, hell, you’d even seen him practicing in the living room endlessly some nights. You’d wake up to find him asleep on the floor on your trek to the bathroom or on your hunts for a midnight snack.

But to see it with the atmosphere and the music, you could feel every ounce of charisma and dedication pouring from him and his partner. They bowed to the audience and gave each other a good natured hug as they walked off stage together.

You desperately wanted to rush after him, compliment his incredible performance but there were still a few pieces left and you did want to see them, especially if they were half as good as Jimin’s they’d be nothing short of incredible.

The showcase ended with everyone coming back on stage and bowing together as a group before moving to the hall to greet their friends and family members who’d come to support them.

The crowded room made your anxiety spike in your throat, you hunched your shoulders and kept yourself from running. You weren’t an extremely charismatic person, nor were you a big people person. The long stints in your lab and the late nights with your nose buried in your textbooks were proof enough of your natural aversion to the spotlight.

But Jimin seemed to exude the complete opposite energy.

And you were glad to see him making his way toward you, even with a small group of people chatting with him on the way. His partner, whom you found out to be Kang Seulgi, was incredibly kind and chatted with you while Jimin spoke to his good friend Hoseok who’d choreographed his and Seulgi’s performance.

“Jimin was more nervous than usual today,” she chuckled softly. “I should’ve known it was because you’d be here.”

You flushed at her blunt statement. “Ah, he’s a perfectionist, I’m sure he was just nervous because of the size of the crowd,” you said, trying to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest.

“If you say so,” she said with a raised brow.

“Y/N,” a soft and sweet voice filled your ears. You turned and saw Jimin smiling at you as he approached. “Those for me?” he asked, eyes revealing a touched expression.

“Yes,” you swallowed. “I-I was hoping it wouldn’t be too much-”

“No,” Jimin said, taking the flowers as you pushed them towards him. “They’re lovely, thank you.”

You nodded, trying to keep your mind from melting at his eyes and the warmth they exuded.

Seulgi chuckled before wishing the both of you a good night, searching for her friends in the crowd.

Jimin’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you in a little closer. You flushed as he invaded your space, however you couldn’t find it in yourself to be disgruntled, even jokingly.

“Minie...” you whispered, your voice startlingly soft and sweet. Usually you weren’t as demure as you were at this moment. You only used that nickname when you wanted something, and Jimin found it hard to resist your innocent ploy.

“Yeah baby? What is it?” he asked, teasing as he pulled you in closer. You snuggled into his shirt happily, letting yourself get swept away in the moment just this once. “Mmm, you’re awfully cuddly, did you start without me?” he asked.

You made a noise of complaint, looking up at him indignantly. “I’ll have you know I’m brave enough to be doing this sober.”

“Yikes.”

“Fuck you.”

“Depends on how many drinks you give me,” he snickered.

“J-Jimin!”

He rolled his eyes as he started walking towards the exit, his arm slung over your shoulders as he tucked you into his side. You bit your lip as you wrapped your arm around his waist, happily enjoying the warmth as you two stepped into the night’s frigid air.

The air was bitingly cold but you took a deep breath in and watched as the fog appeared as you exhaled. “Mmm, it’s cold.”

“Brilliant observation.”

You narrowed your eyes in a glare at him before he pinched your cheek and shook your head softly. With a nasty pout you shoved his hand off of your face. “Smart ass.”

Jimin cupped your jaw, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes turned glossy as you watched his features turn cold as the air around you. “Don’t be a brat, I’ll smack your ass right here if you act up,” he warned.

A throb of want pulsed down to your center as your eyes got big in shock towards his forward attitude. You let out a squeak when he took his hand off your jaw before brushing some of your hair from your face. “Are you more submissive?” he asked, voice suddenly much less icy and returning to the warmth you usually received from him.

You choked with embarrassment as you struggled to put distance between you two. “I can’t, I’m gonna go lay in traffic-”

“Y/N! Stop the dramatics-oof! Don’t squirm-hey! Don’t resist!”

“This sounds horrible doesn’t it?” you laughed as he struggled to keep you in his arms as you kept trying to go limp in his hold.

He laughed right along with you, working to keep you standing but eventually giving up as the two of you laid on the sidewalk right next to the campus’s performing arts center.

Surprisingly there was no snow, even at this time of year. But the concrete underneath you was sucking the warmth from your bones as you felt your teeth starting to chatter relentlessly.

“We can get up-” Jimin tried to offer but you shook your head.

“No, this is fun,” you sighed.

“Laying on frigid concrete isn’t usually what I’d describe as ‘fun’ Y/N, you should see the school psychiatrist-ouch!” he growled, grabbing your sneaky hand that had pinched his nipple in retaliation.

You burst into laughter all over again.

There was a lightness in your chest you hadn’t felt in so long.

You loved school and you took pride in preparing for the future you were planning for yourself. It wasn’t something everyone accomplished, not that they needed to, but for you it was a big deal and that led to a lot of pressure. Not only from others, but worst of all-from yourself.

They do say you are your own worst critic, and it was the most goddamn true statement you’d ever heard in your life.

There was so much pressure not only on you but on everyone going through life. The world was crazy and life was seemingly changing every single day. It was hard not to get wrapped up in all of it, forget that there are simple things still in the world.

Like laying on the freezing cold cement with a stupidly attractive man, one you’d really like to kiss.

You think you might just.

Just a little.

Without realizing it, you were leaning in.

Until Jimin’s lips were snug against yours.

Oh god...

Ohgodohgodohgod.

You felt your heart jolt in your chest, even though you pulled back relatively quickly. You squeaked in shock at yourself, covering your mouth as you sat up with hot cheeks.

“I-I’m so sorry! I’m usually much less-well... Actually I’m probably a little more-uh, ha-”

“Hey,” Jimin soothed, bringing his hands to your waist. “I know you word vomit when you’re nervous, but it’s just me Y/N. You’ve known me for years,” he said, giving you a little bashful smile.

“I-It’s not just you... It’s... It is you and that’s why I’m turning into an uncivilized moron I’m sorry...” you winced. You just didn’t know how to act, on other dates you felt like you had to put up this persona. This mirage of an image that was more appealing than the awkward and fumbling mess you turned into the moment feelings got involved.

Words still weren’t your strong suit.

Jimin moved closer, causing you to squeak and shut your eyes as you waited with baited breath. When nothing happened you peeked one eye open and saw Jimin’s shoulders shaking with laughter.

“Ah, you’re too cute Y/N, I never knew you’d be this easy to tease,” he cooed, causing you to shove him back with an embarrassed huff.

“Get off,” you pouted.

“We should go, it’s fucking freezing,” he said, lifting you up and wrapping his arm around you with an easy smile on his face.

“D-Did you still wanna get drinks?” You asked, looking at him with a soft shimmer in your eyes.

Jimin sighed and looked up at the dark sky. “I have an idea,” he said, turning to gaze at you once more. “Let’s grab some cheap vodka and some mixers, drinks at home,” he offered.

You bit your lip. “If that’s what you wanna do,” you said. “I’m down for that too.”

He nodded, taking your hand as you headed out into the night, heart hammering in your chest as you felt a sensation bubbling in the pit of your stomach…

—

Jimin had made good on his promise, it was almost midnight and you two were properly tipsy.

Not blackout hammered, but certainly looser and perhaps a bit more… unhinged.

“God damn it, I’m gonna fucking destroy you!” Jimin growled.

You smirked with a twinkle in your eye.

“You’d love to, wouldn’t you, huh? But, unfortunately,” you pressed a button on your controller.

Jimin’s character blew up and he snarled in frustration as he kicked his head back. “You’re such a shit! Come on, don’t be a brat,” he said, trying to mess you up so you’d fail as well.

“Jimin!” You shouted, turning on the sheepish man as your character fell to their death, ending the match for the pair of you. “I was gonna win again! How could you?”

He scoffed. “How could I? Y/N, you’ve won almost every game against me!”

You tried not to smirk at his distressed tone, but you couldn’t help the maniacal laughter that took over you as you looked at his pouting face. “Ah, Minie, I’m sorry, I-I don’t mean to laugh,” you chuckled out, not sounding even the slightest bit sorry.

“Better quit teasing me, baby, I’m not a gracious loser,” he warned, raising a brow.

The alcohol made you mouthy, unfortunately.

“Oh? Don’t like to lose huh? For someone who doesn’t like to lose, you do an awful lot of it, don’t you?” you smirked, eyes sparkling with mirth and bratty attitude.

Jimin didn’t like this however, because the next thing you know, you’re on the ground with him between your legs as he pinned you on the floor. His hands were around your wrists as your thighs wrapped around his hips loosely. His crotch was right up against your core and it had your stomach in a fit of butterflies.

“You... are such a little fucking brat,” he grit out. “You keep acting up and I’m gonna smack your ass fucking raw,” he warned.

A normal person would’ve stuttered and flushed like mad at his angry tone and dark expression.

You may have had a slightly different reaction...

“Minie!” you whined loudly, voice sweet and needy. Jimin’s brows shot up as you clamped a surprised hand over your mouth in shock.

The shock leaked off his features as they turned even darker than before. “Yeah? What is it baby? Something the matter?” he smirked, pushing his hips closer to yours with a menacing look.

“N-No...” you whispered, voice surprisingly soft and docile.

Jimin raised a brow and scoffed at you. “For someone who was talking a lot of shit just a few minutes ago you sure turned into a bitch really quick for some dick, huh?” he laughed. The heat of his statement worked its way onto your face. So much so it made you turn your head so you didn’t have to look at him.

“Hey,” his tone was gentler, fingers intertwining with yours as he kissed your cheek. “Too much? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable...”

You quickly snapped your head back towards his so you could connect your lips. He sighed as he gently kissed you back. “Need you to tell me if it’s too much baby,” he said, kissing your jaw and right under your ear. You hiccuped in pleasure, trying desperately not to ruin your panties.

“N-Nothing so far has made me uncomfortable... I-I like dirty talk, a lot,” you promised. “Are you okay? I-I don’t wanna rush you either.”

Jimin’s face softened, kissing you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he sat the two of you up. “Ah, I hate to sound like a fucking animal, but I’ve had way too many wet dreams about you to stop now,” he panted. “If you’re down I’d like to properly appreciate your ass now,” he smirked.

Your eyes twinkled in the soft light of the living room as you nodded. “Yes... Yes I want that,” you said. “Take me to bed, Minie...”

He did not have to be told twice. Quickly, Jimin hauled you in the air as he carried you both to his room. You were going to protest and say you had a nicer bed when he shushed you. “Shh, I’ll fuck you here and then we’ll sleep in yours,” he said, dropping you on the sheets of his bed moments later. “Now spread your legs.”

You were eager to comply, separating your thighs as he situated himself in between them once again. “M-Minie~”

He shushed you again by bringing your mouths together, sucking on your bottom lip as he ground his hardening cock against your pussy. Your panties were already soaked and your flimsy pajama shorts weren’t going to stop your arousal. Especially if Jimin kept grinding against you like that.

It was like he was fucking you with your clothes on. He rolled his hips against your core desperately, causing his thickening member to nudge your clit just so. You whined against his lips, clutching his shirt due to the pleasure coursing through you.

“Such a pretty baby, you sound so fucking pathetic, whining for my cock like a bitch in heat. You a little puppy slut? Just starting her rut? Huh?” his voice was thick with arousal as he ground against you. “Don’t deserve my cock. Not after being such a little bitch,” he snapped, grabbing your jaw in his hand. You were panting at the aggressive nature he took on, eyes turning watery as you begged for more.

“B-But Minie! I-I came t-to your showcase! I-I was nice,” you pleaded. “I-I’m sorry for being mean, I’ll be good,” you promised.

A dark chuckle left his lips as he slammed his pelvis into yours entirely too hard to be nice, making you yelp. But the sharp sting left you writhing underneath him. “Desperate,” he teased. “No one’s been fucking you right, huh? Last good dick was so long ago you’re already soaking my fucking pants,” he rolled his eyes, as if this was predictable. “Should’ve known you’d be a little cockslut once I got my hands on you...”

“I’ll be a slut for you, Minie... If that’s what you want,” you gasped when he rolled against your clit firmly, making sparks flush through your body. Your hips twitched, naturally seeking out your pleasure. But Jimin had different plans.

He pulled you up and kissed you, tangling his fingers in your hair before tugging your head back to kiss your neck and throat. “Don’t want to rush you my baby,” he breathed, trailing his lips across your jaw slowly. “If you need to stop just tell me,” he said, sealing those words with a kiss as he finally slipped his hand inside your shorts.

“M-Minie!” you cried, head falling back against his pillows. “C-Careful, m’sensitive baby,” you bit your lip.

“Aw, poor baby,” he said, voice mocking and harsh. It sent chills of pleasure over your skin. “You’re sensitive from humping my fucking crotch like a little bitch,” he growled. “If you’re sensitive, then it’s your own damn fault for being such a cock hungry whore,” he snarled, pressing a savage kiss against your mouth.

You weren’t even sure you could call it a kiss. He panted harshly against your mouth, his tongue licking inside soon after.

With a soft but sweet whine you wrapped your arms around his neck again, playing with the hair at the base of his head. You tangled your fingers in it and gently scratched his scalp in a way that made him purr.

“Minie,” you pouted. “Please touch me...” you flushed, voice shaky as you tried not to shy away. It was harder than expected, to be totally submissive and to feel okay. Usually you switched, men had taken advantage of you before. Never anything terribly traumatizing, but there had been some situations where things went too far and a safeword had to be used.

And after that you went back to more vanilla sex, but it was all so fucking boring. These college boys you’d been fucking hadn’t been on the same level, not even the same fucking planet as Jimin. You felt so hot, so turned on, but you didn’t feel like you couldn’t be honest either.

It was a little intimidating to have something so good. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you lost him now...

And he hadn’t even gotten his dick out yet.

Jesus.

“Baby? Y/N, hey, look at me for a second,” Jimin’s voice was still husky, but more direct. “There you are,” he said, a small smile on his face.

You blinked slowly before you mirrored his action. “Sorry, just... Got caught up for a second, I’m here. I’m okay, promise,” you said, pecking his lips sweetly.

“I trust you,” he said, pushing your hair away from your face before he gently cupped your core through your panties. “You’re soaking these panties, pretty... I’d hate for you to have to throw them out,” he said with a smug look on his face. “Mind if I take them off?”

With a quick lift of your hips, Jimin was tugging the wet fabric of your shorts and panties down your thighs and off your feet shortly after. His eyes gleamed in the dim light of his room. You sat up and shed your shirt before laying back in his sheets. You’d both changed shortly after getting home, pajamas being much more favorable than the clothes you’d both worn out that evening. Although Jimin had kept his makeup from the showcase on.

You certainly weren’t going to remind him now...

“Shit... Y/N, you’re pussy is so fucking pretty,” he moaned, kissing your shin and knee with his plush and slightly swollen lips. “Bet you’re gonna fucking cream my cock, you ever squirted baby? Think I could get you there?” he asked, running his thumb through your slick and puffy lips.

“Jimin,” you gasped, arching your back gently, reaching up to grip your chest. You gently rubbed your nipples, working them to sensitive peaks as you tugged and stimulated them as Jimin played between your legs.

He leaned forwards and kissed your sternum, smiling against your skin as he felt your hands brush from his head down to his upper back and shoulders. He shivered slightly when you ran your nails across his sensitive flesh.

“I’m so hard, baby,” he whined, licking his lips as he looked at your center. “But you look so good, I need to taste you. Maybe if you’re good I’ll lick my cum out of you later,” he winked. You felt your pussy clench around nothing at those words, begging for his teasing thumb to sink inside. Just a little.

You’d never felt so desperate.

Jimin had mastered the art of teasing it appeared. Because you’d never felt so needy. Perhaps it was the fact that you and Jimin had incredible sexual chemistry. But, there was something else deeper than that. You’d had good sex, you know what it’s like to be pleasured well.

But this was something else entirely.

It felt like he knew you, like he knew exactly where he wanted to touch you and it was exactly where you needed him. Every part of you was made for him to touch, to worship...

To ruin.

“P-Please, I need something, Minie... Hurts,” you breathed, hips seeking his touch out.

He didn’t make you ask anymore, sinking his thumb inside your clenching hole with a hiss. “Oh fuuucckk,” he moaned, watching your sticky pussy swallow his digit had his cock pulsing aggressively in his pants. “Snug little cunt, huh? Looks so tasty baby, gonna be good for me while I eat this pussy?”

You nodded quickly, not trusting your voice to hide the desperation you felt.

“Yeah, you’ll be good for me... If you aren’t, I’ll edge you until you cry,” he smirked, eyes dark and dangerous.

“‘M good Minie, I’ll be good,” you whispered, worrying your bottom lip as you felt him adjust. Soon he was kissing your thighs, thumb still rocking in your pussy slowly. “Please, wanna feel your hot mouth on my pussy, baby.”

Jimin growled against your skin before he pushed his thumb in deeper before giving your pussy a fat lick. “Fuck, fucking hell baby,” his voice was deep, vibrating your core as he absolutely refused to separate from your heat for a second.

You tasted so fucking good...

Now, Jimin was entirely aware that pussy didn’t taste like candy or fucking sugar. But you were so fucking wet. It was dripping down his chin, coating his tongue in your flavor, thick and heady in his mouth and throat.

“M-Mm! Baby!” you cried, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists. “Feels so good! So fucking good!”

How did you taste so good? Jimin couldn’t get over that fact. Jimin hadn’t ever said no to going down on a woman if it was consensual. His ex said his head game was insane. He didn’t like to boast, but he knew he was good with his mouth. But this much slick cream was insane to him.

He couldn’t get enough.

“Such a sweet little cut, so wet for me,” he panted against your skin, licking his lips before digging back in.

Jimin removed his thumb, making you whine in frustration. Your core was still achingly empty, even with his digit fucking you open. He licked all your arousal off his thumb before sucking your clit into his mouth and pushing two fingers into your weeping hole.

“Minie!” you sobbed, walls sucking him in as deep as you could take him, clit on fire as he tortured it with his tongue.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” he moaned. “So soft, kinda forgot how sweet and soft pussy is... But something tells me, yours is special,” he winked which made you scoff. “Already the best pussy I’ve ever had...”

You bit your lip and moaned as Jimin’s fingers worked inside of you. He ground his middle finger against that rough spot while sucking on your clit and you felt a hot pulse of pure bliss shoot down your spine.

“Jimin!” you shrieked, causing him to jolt in surprise.

“Baby? Too much? I’m sorry-”

“Please don’t stop!”

He froze for a moment before he chuckled darkly. “You want me to make you squirt pretty? I can almost bet I’ll make you squirt for me,” he said, licking your clit like a kitten, watching in amusement as your hips twitched against his ministrations.

“I’ll take whatever you give me Minie, m’ your good girl,” you said, eyes big and watery, shining in the light of the room. Jimin felt his heart twinge in his chest.

He was nervous to do this with you. He was nervous to take this step.

He didn’t want to fuck it up.

Firstly, he’d hate to lose you. Secondly, it would be really hard to either find a new roommate or apartment right now. Middle of the semester was such a shit time honestly.

But he knew, he knew what he wanted.

You were worth the risk, you were worth the chance.

He was willing if you were.

“You are, aren’t you?” he praised, kissing your jaw as he fucked you with his fingers. “Gonna cum for me like a good girl? Want to make you cum so hard baby, has anyone ever made you squirt before?”

With fluttering eyes you shook your head, no. You’d made yourself squirt, almost. It was a little different than you imagined it was supposed to be.

“Want me to help you then? Want your Minie to get you there?”

Him calling himself ‘your’ Minie did things to you that had not only pussy clenching but your heart as well.

“Please Minie,” you mewled, digging your nails into your thighs desperately.

“Okay pretty, I’ll make you cum, you’re gonna soak this bed when I’m done eating your cunt,” he growled, leaning down once more to suck your clit into his mouth as his fingers sunk in deeper.

Fuck, he’d added a third one.

But his middle digit kept pulsing and rubbing in the same time as his tongue and mouth on your clit. You felt each push and suck in your stomach. You could feel yourself slipping, your pussy was getting wetter and wetter, and Jimin was elated.

“Yes, that’s it,” he said, kissing your cunt before going right back to sucking.

A hot sensation pooled in your lower stomach, causing you to clench tightly. Your breaths were coming in shorter now, Jimin seemed to notice.

“Feel it?”

You nodded quickly. “B-Baby, feels... a lot... ‘s a lot!” you whimpered, clutching the sheets before you carved your thighs up with the aggressive pleasure coursing through you.

“It’s okay baby, it’s gonna feel so good. Breathe, keep breathing my baby,” he cooed softly, capturing your clit between his plush lips and amping up the speed of his hand and fingers.

You didn’t have time to breathe, because you were cumming shortly after.

Jimin watched in awe as you screamed in pleasure before you came hard all over him and his bed. “Good girl, fuck that’s so fucking sexy, give it to me...”

You collapsed against the sheets, heart hammering in your chest and ears ringing as you felt your toes and fingertips tingling. Jimin cleaned his fingers, shushing you as he took off his shirt to clean around your thighs just a bit to get most of you wiped up.

“Y/N? Can you hear me baby?” he asked, trying to be gentle. His cock was leaking in his sweatpants at this point, he’d been grinding it against the mattress as he ate you out. But cumming that hard, and especially after the spout of assholes you’d encountered in the bedroom lately, that orgasm was no doubt intense.

You swallowed hard, leveling out your breathing to a softer panting as Jimin leaned forward, kissing your lips and cheek softly. “Easy, do you need some water? You did so good, pretty,” he said, pressing tender kisses and bites into your skin.

“I-If you can make me cum that hard, I have to marry you. You’re mine, I won’t let anyone else have you,” you said, holding his face as you kissed his jaw and lips slowly.

Jimin laughed softly, kissing you back before he moved away. You pouted, but only for a moment as you saw Jimin pushing his pants off.

Your mouth dropped open slightly as you saw his cock, bright red and absolutely drenched in precum. You wanted to move forward, take his dick in your mouth and pleasure him just as good as he did you, but he was already moving towards you again.

With eager hands you found yourself kissing him once more, palming his cock and caressing his neck all the while.

“F-Fuck, not too much. I’ll fucking blow my load, can I fuck you? Condoms or no condoms I don’t care, but fuck I need to be inside you,” he said, pushing you on your back as he palmed one of your breasts.

“I’m on the pill, and I haven’t let anyone go raw in over a year, I-I’m okay with it if you are-”

“Yes,” he hissed, lining himself up with your center. His eyes locked with yours for a moment. You gave him a nod before he finally pushed himself in.

“Minie! Jimin! F-Fuck,” you cried, throwing your head back into the pillows as Jimin sank deep inside you. He wasn’t incredibly huge, he was certainly above average however. Bigger than the most recent stint of idiots you’d let fuck you.

And you were so fucking happy he went in raw. You loved raw sex, creampies were certainly a big kink for you. Not only that, but you could feel every delicious inch of him filling your desperate pussy. You could feel how hot he was, how snug he fit inside you.

“Y/N, oh fuck,” he huffed, resting his head on your shoulder. “F-Fuck, you feel so fucking good. Wet little pussy sucking me in, Jesus christ baby,” he laughed, almost in disbelief. “If you’ve got a pussy like this, squeezing me like this? Then I think I agree baby, I’m going to have to marry you... I’m not letting anyone else fuck you, especially not some stupid fucking assholes who won’t appreciate such a perfect cunt... You said some fucking prick needed lube? Must not have liked him as much as you like my fat cock, baby... You’re dripping.”

“Don’t want anyone else Minie!” you moaned. “Fuck me, please baby... Please fuck my pussy, want you so much.”

Jimin didn’t waste any more time, he grabbed your thighs and pulled your hips up, making you curl in on yourself so he had more leverage. “Take my cock baby, sweet pussy,” he moaned, thrusting into you firmly.

You grabbed his shoulders, moaning loudly as he started fucking into you. The sound of his hips slapping into yours was echoing through the room, Jimin leaned down to suck tender marks into your breasts. He grabbed your wrists, pinning them to the bed as he forced you to take his cock.

“Minie! Cock so big baby, u-uh! Please, please-ahh! F-Fuck, feels so good,” you mewled.

Hot pleasure curled through your body, making involuntary grunts and moans fall from your lips without you even realizing it. Although, Jimin’s cock had you so braindead honestly you wouldn’t be able to say anything coherent anyways. True bliss.

Jimin wasn’t exactly going to be writing any papers at this moment either, his mind had two thoughts. Make you cum again, and make him cum. And if he was lucky, his dick would go again. He can’t remember the last time he was so riled up.

He’s not surprised his little shit of a roommate is the one who managed to work him to the edge of insanity. You’re so beautiful, he’d been absolutely fucked from the moment you walked into his life. How was he supposed to resist you?

Every part of your body drew him in. Supple thighs, beautiful eyes that sparkled, sweet lips that he’d found could spit the nastiest things (although he is the furthest from complaining), and a tender heart that was captured by the simplest actions, but usually those spoke the loudest.

You weren’t good with words, but you really did try. You wanted to understand, you wanted to be connected.

“Fuck,” Jimin growled, thrusting inside you steadily, you watched with morbid curiosity as his entire frame slammed into yours. You watched where your pussy struggled to swallow every inch of him, but you could feel all the slick leaking from not only you, but Jimin as well. Your arousal and his precum created a very easy glide that had your stomach roiling with desire. Your clit throbbed in want, but you feared if you let go of the sheets or him for even a second you’d be fucked right off the bed.

“Minie! S-So close, please baby, can I cum? Wanna cream on your dick,” you whined, grabbing at his forearms with your pretty hands that had Jimin going utterly feral.

“I’ll make you cum so fucking hard baby,” he said, adjusting so one of your legs was stretched up and over his shoulder as he started to pound into you even harder.

You couldn’t breathe, the look on Jimin’s face was utter sin. His eyes were dark, the makeup from his showcase smudged a little from the sweat, but overall he still looked incredible. His flushed face and neck, even the top of his chest was slightly twinged. He was panting, sweat coated the tips of his hair as he kept his brutal pace with ease.

“Touch my clit, please! Jimin, I’m so close,” you cried, feeling every inch of your body start to tingle.

He didn’t waste any time as he brought his thumb to your clit while he kissed your ankle. “Cum, Y/N, soak my cock,” he encouraged, eyes fucked out and dazed.

Your body couldn’t take anymore, your walls clamped down on his dick and you screamed in bliss. You couldn’t tell what happened for a few moments until you felt Jimin shake your shoulder for a second. “Baby, please, where do you want it?” he asked, drawing you out of your stupor long enough.

It was a no brainer for you.

“Inside,” you purred, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in as he shivered.

“Gonna take my load baby? Want it inside?” he asked, panting harshly against your lips.

“Yeah, give it to me... Wanna feel it dripping out of me,” you whined, the sensitivity of his brutal thrusts settling it.

Jimin growled, kissing you deeply before his hips stuttered. You soothed your hands down his back as he rutted into you a few more times, ensuring you milked him for every drop he had.

His kisses turned softer, trailing them along your cheek and jaw as he tried to calm himself down. His heart was hammering inside his chest as he watched you sleepily try to keep up with his affections.

“Y/N, you okay? Let me get a towel and then we can head to your room,” he offered, pulling back gently as you both winced at the slight ache and tender drag. “Keep your hips up for a second,” he stated as he jogged to the bathroom.

You huffed in effort as you waited. Jimin reappeared shortly after, walking over with a warm cloth that he used to clean you up as best he could. “Okay, think you can stand?” he asked, tossing the cloth and towels in the basket.

“Yeah, what’s standing?” Jimin laughed and so did you while reaching for him as he helped you get up on your feet. A slight head rush flew through you at the change in orientation. You wrapped your arms around Jimin’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He obliged you, eagerly kissing you as well.

“You need to use the restroom,” he said, urging you towards it. “Let me get these sheets in the basket at least and then we can continue this,” he smiled, pecking your cheek before patting your bare ass and sending you into the bathroom.

You rolled your eyes but did clean up a bit more and used the toilet before washing your hands and face, patting yourself dry with a nice fluffy towel. You tried not to let the nervous sensation in your stomach overwhelm you. Jimin hadn’t really specified what this meant. But to be fair, neither did you. It’s not like you both were rushing anything either.

Fuck...

“Are you giving yourself a nosebleed in there? Come on, lets get some sleep,” Jimin said through the door. You couldn’t help the smile that creeped onto your face as you opened the door and found Jimin standing there. He worked quickly, pulling you out and shutting the light off before dragging you through his room.

He’d worked fast to strip his bed, eager to get you back into his arms.

“Are you okay with sleeping together?” Jimin asked, standing outside your door with you. You nodded, opening your room and bringing him inside. You tossed the towel into your basket, reaching and grabbing another pair of panties before throwing a huge t-shirt over it all. Jimin was sat on your bed and you couldn’t help but like the view.

He seemed to feel your gaze on him because moments later his eyes were locked with yours. “Beds cold, come here,” he said, pouting softly.

How could you resist such a sweet request from him?

Without even a moment of hesitation you moved towards your bed and let him wrap you up in his arms under the blankets happily. You two curled together, chests touching as Jimin rubbed your scalp softly.

The silence wasn’t necessarily awkward, but it was clear you two both wanted to say something.

“Minie,” you broke the tension, voice soft and sweet in the night.

“Yeah, Y/N?” he asked, looking you in the eyes.

“We didn’t... We didn’t really say what this was, and um. I don’t want to ruin this, our friendship, but I also don’t want to miss out on something good just because I didn’t want to rock the boat,” you said bluntly.

Jimin snorted before nodding. “I see, alright. Well, I was under the impression you were interested in a relationship. That’s generally what dates are for, and someone who was looking to hit it and quit it probably wouldn’t have bought me flowers and cried during my showcase,” he chuckled. “I value our friendship as well, you’re a wonderful woman. But I also don’t want to miss something good, I don’t want to miss out on you.”

His words made your chest stutter with anxiety, but also pure elation.

“Then, we’re doing this? Uh, relationship? Together… thing?” You butchered that, but Jimin smiled all the same.

“I’m yours if you’re mine,” he said, kissing your forehead.

You were about to kiss him softly when you burst into laughter. Tears fell down your face as you struggled to keep your wheezing down.

Jimin watched in blatant confusion.

“Babe? Uh, what’s so funny?”

“And they were roommates!"

*Please don't ask about updates, thank you*

#Bangtan Sorciere #52hertz #ficswithluv #ksmutclub #Park Jimin #Jimin smut #BTS #Bangtan #BTS x Reader #BTS fanfiction #BTS x Reader Smut #Jimin #Roommates!AU #they were roommates #Smut #Lemon

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frenchkisstheabyss · 5 months

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❄️ Pairing: ot8!stray kids x reader

❄️ Genre: fluffy fluff

❄️ A/N: I haven't really been in a festive mood this holiday season but then I got this request and it was such a stinkin cute idea that now I'm feeling a lil merry and bright so I'm really happy that I got it. As always, hope ya'll like it.

❄️ Bang Chan ❄️

Chan wastes no time trying to cheer you up, insisting that it's really not that big of a deal. "It's not bad. There's nothing wrong with food being a little well done, yeah?" He's the first to make a plate, complimenting you every few bites. You tell him that he doesn't have to eat it, you don't even wanna eat it, but he doesn't stop until his plate's clean. With all of the work you put into cooking, he could never let your efforts go to waste. Next year though, he'll totally be in the kitchen helping you. For bonding purposes...of course.

❄️ Changbin ❄️

Binnie's already doing what he can to make the food edible before you even have time to go into meltdown mode over burning everything. The thought of letting you trash it never crosses his mind. If it takes him ten minutes to pick off the burnt parts he'll do it. It means a lot to him that you cooked Christmas dinner so he'll go to whatever lengths he must to get it down. God forbid any of the others hesitate for too long or outright refuse to touch it. "Eat it or I'll kill you! Uh, I mean, eat it. It's good." He's not being nice when he says that either. He actually ends up liking it.

❄️ Hannie ❄️

Han's part of the reason that you ended up burning the food. He has 1001 different thing he wants to do with you and he wants to do all of them while you're cooking dinner. You find yourself hanging ornaments and decorating gingerbread houses when you should be keeping an eye on the stove. He feels guilty for distracting you so he grabs a fork and shoves as much food into his cheeks as he can fit. You can't quite make out much besides "Delicious" and "Mmm" between his aggressive chewing but that only makes it more adorable. How could you be mad at that face?

❄️ Lino ❄️

Lino's reaction alerts the entire house that you've burned Christmas dinner. "Oh my gooooosh!" he gasps, going from dish to dish like a judge on one of those food competitions. You've never seen anyone side eye your food this hard. Sensing that you might be upset, he quickly switches gears and tries to act excited to eat. He even helps make plates for the others before disappearing with his own. He lies and says he ate it, that it was the best thing ever. He didn't and you know that but Lino doesn't usually protect feelings so you find it sweet that he does it for you.

❄️ Hyunjin ❄️

Hyunjin shows no signs of concern when he lines up to grab his plate. The holiday season has him feeling more hyper than usual, nearly putting him in Han territory, so he's your #1 cheerleader. "Food looks good" he sings, doing a happy dance on his way to the table. Actually eating the food is a different story though. His facial expressions always betray him and it's impossible to ignore the regret seeping through his forced smile. He really appreciates you, thanking you a bunch for cooking, but for sure spits the food out into a napkin or two. Or three.

❄️ Felix ❄️

Felix immediately gives you a hug, telling you not to feel bad about it. Christmas isn't about the food. It's about the experience of being together afterall, isn't it? He tries to distract you by asking about the different dishes you've made. "A family recipe? Oh, that's beautiful. From your mom or..." Of course, his endless rambling is meant to make you feel more comfortable. At least mostly. A small part of it is to take attention away from the fact that he's only been pretending to nibble at his food which is fine. He makes up for it by volunteering for clean up duty.

❄️ I.N ❄️

Innie stares at his plate in shock, not quite sure what to make of it. He performs surgery with his utensils, picking apart the food in an attempt to decipher what's what. After a minute or so of silence, he has a sudden revelation. "You're a genius! Why didn't I think of this?" Somehow, he has it in his head that you did this on purpose to avoid being chosen to cook in the coming years and he thinks you're the coolest person in the world for trying to game the system. All of this while scrolling his phone for takeout places cause he's still gotta eat and it still won't be what you made.

❄️ Seungmin ❄️

Seungmin doesn't even make it out of the kitchen with his plate. He takes one look at it and scrapes it into the trash. "You want me to starve! What did I ever do to you?" With his stomach grumbling, he makes his way over to one of the gingerbread houses and dismantles it to create his own makeshift dinner. He may tease you about it for a bit, acting pouty over the fact that he hasn't eaten all day but once he's done pouting he makes you come eat with him. Who needs a traditional dinner when you have the shambles of some gingerbread man's estate to devour?

#stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids fluff #stray kids headcanons #bang chan x reader #changbin x reader #han jisung x reader #lee know x reader #hyunjin x reader #felix x reader #in x reader #seungmin x reader

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scoonsalicious · 22 days

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Unwanted: Chapter 15, Undermined - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of SA, discussions of sexual situations.

Word Count: 1k

Previously On...: You went through Bucky's text history with Jade. It was... illuminating, but also soul-crushing. You're not sure how you're going to get past this.

A/N: Thank you all so much for the engagement you've been giving the story! It means so much to me to see everyone so invested! I love you all! Some of ya'lls theories are WILD, and I love them! Keep 'em coming! And if you've sent me a speculation or comment and I haven't replied, it only means that I can't respond without giving away too much information about what's to come, so I feel it's best for me to keep my trap shut; not that I don't appreciate and love you!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1 @les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

The next several weeks passed by quietly. Or, rather, as quietly as living in a towerful of superheroes could be expected to be. You and Bucky danced around each other in a strange sort of limbo since you had officially broken up–almost two months ago, now– no longer lovers, yet not quite just friends. It was difficult. It was painful. He would say something, or give you that look, and you’d be so tempted to melt into his arms. Hell, or rip off his fucking clothes. But you’d remember everything that had happened, the way your life had been completely unended in the span of an evening, and the urges would vanish like smoke in the wind, and the walls would return around your heart.

You’d wanted to ask Steve about what Bucky had said– about getting erections when he sparred, but he was still ignoring you, not wanting to engage with you in any form of conversation that didn’t directly concern Avenger work. It was beyond frustrating, the length his cold shoulder had gone on for, but you couldn’t force him to engage with you.

There was, however, one person you could ask, though you were fairly confident Bucky would be furious at you for doing so. Oh well, you thought. If he didn’t want you asking questions about it, he should have never given you reason to question the things he told you in the first place.

“Hey, Sammy,” you said, cornering your friend in the training room after he finished a run on the treadmill.

“‘Sup, Baby Girl?” Sam wiped his brow with the hem of his shirt. “Come to watch Ole Sammy get all sweaty?”

“Ew, gross,” you shoved him playfully. “Not even a little bit. I have a question for you, though.” You handed him his water bottle, and he took it from you gratefully, chugging down a few swigs before looking back to you.

“Shoot,” he said. “I got all the answers.”

You chewed thoughtfully on your bottom lip, wondering how exactly you were going to word your inquiry. “You ever spar with Bucky?”

Sam slowly lowered his water bottle and eyed you suspiciously. “Why?” he asked you slowly.

“It’s a simple question, Sam,” you responded as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Have you sparred with him, or not?”

Sam narrowed his eyes, as though trying to determine whether or not you were luring him into some kind of trap. “I have,” he drawed out.

You raised a brow. “Anything… weird ever happen to Bucky when he really lets himself get invested in a fight?” you asked. “Anything… unusual?”

“So, he finally told you about that, huh?” Sam asked, mirroring your stance.

“I’m gonna need you to be more specific, Sam.” You put all of your weight onto one foot.

“Well, either you know, or you don’t,” Sam argued. “It’s not my secret to tell you.”

You were growing frustrated at his reticence to give you the information you were looking for. “Come on, Sam. Let’s just say Bucky told me about something that occasionally happens to him when he fights, but I don’t know if I can believe him or not. I’d ask Steve, but he’s not speaking to me at the moment, so you’re my only way of confirming if what he told me is true or not. I need you to be straight with me. Please.”

Sam studied you, his expression unreadable. “What the hell happened between the two of you, Pocket?”

“Nothing I want to talk about right now, Sam,” you told him, your impatience beginning to show. “Are you going to tell me what I need to know, or not?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam said, finally giving in. “Alright. So, sometimes, when Tin Man really gets into the heat of it, he gets…” Sam coughed, clearly uncomfortable with the line of conversation, “excited.”

“Excited.” You rolled the word around in your mouth. “More specific, Sam.”

Sam rubbed his eyes. “Jesus Christ, Baby Girl. You gonna make me spell it out?” You nodded, eager for him to get on with it.

Sam’s eyes rolled heavenward, as though he were praying for the Lord to give him the strength to deal with you. “Sometimes he gets a fucking boner when he fights, alright? You happy now?”

You should be. You really should be. It meant there was one thing, at least, he’d been honest with you about. But it wasn’t nearly enough.

“Did he tell you why?” you asked, instead.

“You’re just asking me to break all kinds of confidences today, ain’t ya, Baby Girl?” You gave him a pointed look.

“Fine, fine,” Sam finally relented. “It was awkward as hell, the first time I noticed it happen, but Barnes said it was a left over from the shit Hydra did to him when they were programming him to be the Winter Soldier. They wanted to make him… excited by the fight, aroused by it.” Sam shook his head, disgusted by what his friend had endured. “So, they did all kindsa shit to merge the two– sex and violence, until his body couldn’t tell the difference between ‘em.”

You blinked once, twice, three times at Sam’s words. You supposed you should feel grateful– here was confirmation Bucky’d spoken the truth to you, and you were fairly sure that Sam wouldn’t have lied to your face to save Bucky’s ass. And yet… and yet. Sam, and Steve, as well, had been privy to this part of Bucky’s past that he’d felt the need to keep from you. Even that thought brought you more conflict: if it was something Bucky had shared with Sam and Steve, it made the fact he’d shared it with Jade less significant. But, the angry voice in the back of your head insisted, he’d still chosen not to share it with you. And that still stung. Your thoughts just spun in circles.

“Got anymore horrifically awkward questions for me?” Sam asked, and you realized you’d been silent a bit too long.

“No,” you said, shaking your head as though to clear your thoughts. “Uh, that was it. Thanks, Sam. I appreciate it.” You turned to leave the training room.

“I’d say ‘any time, Baby Girl,’” Sam called after you, “but that was awkward as hell and I sure as shit never want to talk about Bucky’s erections with anyone ever again!”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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ravenna-reid · 1 month

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I SEE RED

[ Part 3 to Crimson Red ]

TW: swearing and violence and maybe like one suggestive line

I'm beyond glad so many of you like this series!! This one is a lil longer, so I hope ya'll don't mind. Reblogs and comments are appreciated :)

˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁ ˖ ݁

You began to pull your arms away from Jason's waist, but not before his gloved hand quickly enveloped one of yours.

"What are you doing?" His hold was eager, his voice drowning out from the rush of the cars around you.

Rain continued to belt down onto you both, the chill settling deep into your bones.

"I'm gonna need both hands for this! Trust me!" You shouted through the helmet. Jason held onto you a second, hesitant to let go until he focused back onto weaving through the cars with his motorbike.

You and Jason had found out who that sniper was that shot your shoulder and wrecked Jason's apartment. And you both decided to pay him a visit and give him a little gift. Just a mean threat, a few bruises and broken bones here and there. That's all. Actually, you had left half-way to look at the snipers impressive collection of CD's, so you didn't really know what Red Hood did to him. You figured it would have been pretty gruesome given what the man had done to the Hood's apartment, but you didn't realise that Jason was bent on rage due to the fact that the man had shot you.

Now you were both speeding down one of the back streets of Gotham on the back of Red's motorbike. Four cars followed close behind, given the sniper had about a hundred men working for him. Too bad you could only use your abilities on two people at once.

Grabbing onto the grab handle on the back of Jason's seat, you managed to quickly flip around so that your back was against his and you were facing your pursuers. Gripping on tightly with your legs, you prayed you wouldn't fall off the motorbike as you raised your hands.

You could feel every bone. Every vein, organ and muscle. With one hand outstretched, you slowly turned the other. Then, with the slight tilt of your head, you felt the men driving the two cars closest to you struggling for air. Both of the black cars swerved, taking out one another. Two down.

You actually felt that you and Jason had the upper hand. Until you remembered the other cars and saw a man hanging out of one of them, submachine gun in hand. And before you could even raise your hands to snap his fingers, bullets began to rush towards you.

Jason immediately swerved off the road, collecting trash cans and other bits and pieces as he tore down the alley way. Usually, after a while, he'd be able to regain control of his motorbike. But with his mind on you and his arm instinctively reaching to grab you, his motorbike soon began to slide on its side before crashing into a nearby warehouse.

You and Jason sat there a second on the dilapidated motorbike, limbs aching and hearts racing. "Thank the Lord." You let out in a deep breath as you threw your helmet to the ground.

The crash wasn't that bad and you'd both experienced worse. Getting to his feet, Jason looked down at the crushed metal and torn leather and let out a long sigh.

"Fuck, I didn't mean to crash you." Jason continued staring down at it, hands on hips, as you gave him a dramatic pat on the back.

Engines revving and tires screeching. You and Hood both immediately looked down the street as the two cars raced towards you.

"Quick, get in the building." He urged.

You raced in and quickly enveloped yourselves in the darkness and waited. All there was was sound. The click of Jason loading his guns. The sound of yelling and car doors slamming outside. The drip, drip, dripping of a leak in the warehouse. You raised your hands, prepared to fight.

"Do you even know how to fight?" He asked.

You deduced that he must have night vision in his helmet.

"Yes," You hissed. "I did Krav Maga for a few years."

Jason smirked. "Think you could best me?"

"I'd certainly like to try."

The men, with their torches, knives and guns, suddenly stormed the building and your first goal was to wreck the one with the submachine gun. You effortlessly did so and he now lied on the ground writhing in pain. After dealing with a few more men you glanced over at Hood, impressed with his strength and marksman skills. But then it suddenly felt like lead was seeping into your bones and weighing you down.

There were too many men. You desperately tried the best you could. Hiding amongst the shadows and harming two at a time. But they were catching on, some of them starting to realise that you needed both your hands to perform your ability.

You took a strike to the face and doubled over. Red Hood seemed to as well, judging by the sound of his pained yell. Blood stained the cement ground around him as he held onto his ribs, a ghastly gash sitting on his skin beneath his suit. He put up a good fight, but men were kicking at him. One of the men picked up a disregarded crow bar. More were closing in on you.

Fear coursed through your veins like electricity. No, it was more like an itch running through your body. Something you'd never felt before and you couldn't explain. But you weren't about to stop and question it. Instead you closed your eyes and begged that what you were about to do would work.

You elbowed the guy that had one of your arms pinned back before quickly raising them. Slowly, they stopped in their tracks. One by one. Wincing, aching, grunting in pain. Something thick got caught in your throat, and you realised it was too much, but in that moment you didn't care. Your hands trembled as you pushed forward, performing your usual poses. The hold you had over them seemed to have a hold on you too. Because as you forced them all to their knees, you began to sink down to your knees as well.

Jason watched in disbelief and awe. The men were struggling. They were absolutely helpless. Blood began to trickle from their noses and the corner of their mouths. Some were beginning to cry. But you didn't stop until you knew Jason would be safe. Until they were all out cold. And that's exactly what happened.

Pride racked your chest as a dozen men laid before you. Silent and still. You looked over at Jason, a silly smile on your face, before crashing to the floor and hitting it hard.

"Crimson!" Although in pain, Jason made it to you in no time. He quickly pushed the wet hair clinging to your face out of the way. "Hey, you're ok. You're ok." He said, noticing the blood beginning to trickle from your nose. Something wrung his heart like a wet cloth. Hood took the leather jacket from his shoulder and threw it over you. "It's ok, you're going to be fine Crimson."

He continued gripping at you, urging you to respond. But you couldn't talk, your throat burning, so instead you went with a nod. Slowly, his figure became a haze, then a sudden blur of red and grey before

everything

went

black.

You'd woken up the next day tucked into your bed. Silk doona pulled up to your chin. Two glasses of water, headache medication and chicken soup sat on your bedside table. Your fingers raised to brush against the mask that was still on your face. He didn't removed the mask. Your playful smirk soon ended up turning into a genuine smile.

"Thanks Red."

Days went by, and once you were well enough to be out and about again, Jason was ecstatic. He explained everything to you. How he ended up calling back up, how said back up helped him with the men and looking after you.

"Don't worry, afterwards I carried you home myself." He said, assuring you that your location was kept a secret, and a small flutter began in your stomach.

You asked who he had called, but he only replied with a smart ass comment about how your Krav Maga failed you. You rolled your eyes and went about your mission, and Jason smiled beneath his helmet. He couldn't believe what you had done. How you had pushed pass limits and achieved something you didn't know you could. How you had taken those men out simply with a few simple hand movements. You were a prodigy in his eyes. And he was just happy you were ok.

One particularly late night, you sat on your bed after patrol and stared out your bedroom window, letting the moon bathe you in its light before beginning your bed time routine. Neon lights were streaming on the building across from your apartment block. Cars raced on the road down below. The stars were trying hard to be seen, but that was impossible with all the light pollution in Gotham. Your mind continued wandering as you sat there, that was until you heard a squeak from one of the windows in the lounge.

"Hey Red." You said before he even entered your bedroom.

"Hey." He said, setting his helmet down onto your desk.

Jason stood awkwardly at your door, something he'd been doing a lot lately, as he watched you lean down to untie your shoes. Pausing what you were doing, you looked over at him with furrowed brows. He watched as your hair, and that red lace, fell over your shoulder.

"You can come sit down Red."

Jason nodded, cleared his throat, then hesitantly walked over to your bed. Then he sunk into your crimson bedding and took in the warmth of your room. The scent that enveloped it.

Once you finished untying your shoes, you moved closer to Jason and suddenly all the air had been snatched from his lungs. If he had no shame, or if he could actually function, he probably would have asked if you were using your abilities on him.

"Checking on me again?" You asked. It had been the third time this week.

"Maybe." He admitted looking down with a smirk.

"I'm fine now Red, I promise."

You placed your hand on top of his and immediately, he looked up at you. Did you realise what you were doing? Was this simply a friendly gesture? That glint in your eyes said otherwise, and it had him swallowing hard. Shit, could you ever really be his?

You were leaning closer, slowly, surely. Your hand running along his abdomen where the knife cut from that night probably left a scar. Chills ran down his spine, and although he didn't realise it, he was leaning in too. Admiration was evident in Jason's eyes as you stared back, a soft and loving smile adorning your face. Different from your usual smile. A smile he'd never seen before. A smile only he could earn.

"Jason..." You whispered, and shit how he loved how you whispered his name. It was like a whole drum set was now banging and bashing inside of Jason's chest. He raised his hand, warm fingers brushing your cheek before slightly slipping under your mask.

"May I?" He asked reluctantly.

You nodded. "Mmhm."

He pulled your mask off, and once he saw you he had to take a second. He took in every little feature and came to the conclusion he already knew. You were breathtaking. But maybe it was the trust you were showing him that was really making the brutal, sarcastic Red Hood so lovesick.

"Fuck, this is what you've been hiding from me?"

You gave a breathy laugh, your cheeks becoming tinted with pink. Jason leant closer, his breath fanning your skin. Hand tightening around your own, your leg now brushing against his. Until he paused.

"Can I kiss you?"

The fact that he asked made you melt.

You smiled again. "Mmhm."

And suddenly, his lips were on yours. Gentle and tender, almost as though he wasn't sure if this was what you really wanted. After a few seconds of bliss, his doubt got the better of him and he pulled back. But when you crept forward and your hand clutched at his collar to pull him deeper into the kiss, well, then he was all in. Hand gripping your waist whilst the other went to your hair. You felt giddy. Safe. Content.

And as the sounds around you drowned out and the kiss slowly progressed, his lips began to trace your skin....

#jason todd #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #jason todd x fem!reader #red hood imagine #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x reader #fluff #red hood angst #jason todd angst #angst #dca fandom #dc universe #dc comics #dcu

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austinsastrology8991 · 10 months

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> Interceptions; through signs/houses <

interceptions are an overcharged, under-appreciated facet within a natives chart. its something you are acutely aware of and are usually extremely distasteful/uncomfortable of. Its something that was neglected in previous lifetimes so you are forced to fix it now...

1st/7th house or Aries/Libra - these people are very noticeable but in a uncomfortable way for themselves and others... they come off extremely strong (they are very imposing accidentally but also not in a good way) and they are always switching between being extremely self conscious of this or very idgaf. This creates a dynamic where they come off very wat da fuq > and are projected onto a lot and have a habit of projecting onto others a lot. 2nd/8th house or Taurus/Scorpio - These people are very insecure, but others are usually extremely unaware of this, which only accelerates the natives insecurity. To others they come off very valuable(2)/powerful(8) but usually they do not relate to this feeling within themselves at all. They however may overcompensate these feelings of inferiority by appearing stronger than they feel inside, and they are very good at convincing others this. Until it does inevitably crumble and everyone is shocked because their facade is relatively strong. 3rd/9th house or Gemini/Sagitarrius - These people are very talkative or the opposite; they are mindful of their answers and those of others, but because of their overthinking tendencies it makes them very fidgety and always need to have a great deal of input into the conversation. This makes others not sure if they smart, because they low key annoying to talk to (ya'll just sayin too much) but they dont appreciate their own cleverness because they mentioned every dot point in existence and this makes them feel stupid; don't know what a summary means or you made 5 summaries which defeats the purpose of one in the first place. 4th/10th house or cancer/capricorn - These guys had a rough childhood and you've never seen a more self protective person of their image. So they never reveal much and this statue-esque vibe they give off is very unesettling and many people talk about this lack of care they display because everyone knows ya'll just give a shit way too much. They avoid responsibility and emotional vulnerability often, and it creates conflicts within their personal life and that of their reputation. 5th/11th house or leo/aquarius - They doin a lot of vibin and not in a viby way. Its too much and they know it too and this creates conflict within their personality of not feeling like they shine in the way they wish they could, so they try even harder to shine the way they envisioned. But too others its the same song / dance we are so used to seeing this with them. This creates conflict in their presence within the community, and it can make them have a poor self image/ identity. 6th/12th house or virgo/pisces - they work a lot but they never satisfied with what they did, so they again work even harder. You can find these guys up at 4 am still tinkering their assignment/ project and even if theirs so many details implanted into it, its never enough and so they still doing more. They also neglect things that are necessary such as eating, or cleaning, because they are so focused on what they wanted to accomplish. This hurts their spirit because they never feel satisfied with what they have done with their life, despite working so damn hard.

> Im going to talk about double signs in my next post; and your double signs are what makes your interceptions far more bearable/ useful. But I want to encourage everyone to work on their interceptions, because it is a weakness, but it really can become a strength if you just put some practical work into it. < How to find interception? easy check yo house cusp; E.g. >

intercepted aries/libra in 12th/6th ;p > BEcause the Aries / Libra symbols is absent ^^^^ also after pisces and before taurus is 'Aries' which is swallowed up within the 12th house****** <That should make it obvious how to read now**** Oh and we always getting 2 gifs do not worry and these gifs *special* they encapsulate intercepted energy perfectly.... actually intercepted energy initself is encapsulation!!!

#intercepted houses #intercepted signs #intercepted #astrology observations #astrology blog #astro community #astrology #astrology notes #astro observations

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just-imagine-that · 1 year

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Hi, can I get a NCT 127 reaction to you not being very affectionate? Thanks

NCT 127 Reaction - Non-Affectionate S/O

Honestly this is me irl, I'm not that affectionate, I find affection a little awkward and cheesy lol

Taeil isn't even my bias but he is so handsome and his voice is so angelic

All Gifs From Pinterest

WARNING: Fluff, lil angst

Taeil

I feel like Taeil is also a bit awkward with affection. Don't get me wrong, he loves affection, he just.. doesn't really know what to do with it, if that makes sense. You guys act more like friends than a couple when around other people, but when you're alone together, you feel a bit more comfortable with showing each other a little affection. You mostly hold hands and give each other a side hug from time to time, and kisses are usually short and sweet, unless you are in dire need of some kisses, then they tend to get longer and more passionate.

Johnny

You're not gonna know what to do with yourself because he refuses to stop flirting with you, even though you've been dating for a while and he doesn't have to keep flirting with you. He is very opposite of you and is extremely affectionate with you, which you don't turn away from, you just don't really know how to handle all the romantic things he does for you, not knowing what to say or do. Sometimes you give him a kiss just to shut him up from flirting with you because he does it so much it starts to embarrass you, not to mention he also makes stupid puns and pickup lines to you in public, which makes you wanna hide yourself from onlookers.

Yuta

He is very considerate of you when you tell him that affection can be a bit awkward and sometimes uncomfortable for you. He won't give you affection unless you initate it first, then he'll go all out, kissing you everywhere on your face and cuddling the shit out of you, but if you tell him to stop, he will, right before he gives you one last kiss on the lips. He understands when you don't show him affection, and won't push you to do so, but when you do decide on your own to show him some love, his mood will be better for the rest of the day.

Taeyong

Taeyong is very subtle with his affections so I think that he wouldn't overload you with grand gestures like some others would. He more likes to show his affection in the little things he does for you, like doing work around the house when you're not feeling the best, or leaving you a little note for you before he leaves the house. You might not be very touchy with him, but he doesn't mind, because he knows that you love him, and you show him that with your own small gestures to show your love.

Doyoung

Honestly, ya'll are that young couple that act like an old married couple. You're always at each others throats, but when something bad happens, you're there to love and to hold each other. You guys insult each other more than anything, but you both know that your just teasing each other and you both only say those savage things as a joke. You both aren't really lovey-dovey with each other, you love each other, but you also love sassing each other. When one of you is having a bad day, though, instead of insulting each other, you tell each other all the drama that's been annoying you about others in your life.

Jaehyun

One hundred percent gets it and understands if you just can't give him all the affection in the world and can only give him small gestures of your love and appreciation. He respects your differences, and if you are uncomfortable with him showing a lot of affection, he will tone it down and do smaller gestures instead of the more grand ones he had been doing previously. And, now and then, when you do show him some affection, he will be absolutely over the moon about it.

Jungwoo

Honestly, he understands, he really does.. but he just loves affection so much and he can't help but start to feel very lonely and sad that you rarely show him the same love he shows you. He usually doesn't notice the subtle things you do that show you care and love him, but the times you do decide to give him a bit of a more obvious piece of affection, he is much more smiley and giddy. Your affection is precious to him, and he never takes it for granted when you do decide to show it to him.

Mark

Kinda likes that you aren't very affectionate, as he doesn't really like grand gestures and finds them a bit awkward, especially when people do it in public, he finds it very cringe worthy and a little weird. He likes that you don't shout your love for him from the rooftops; the only people that need to know that you two are together are his family and close friends, but if anyone asks, he'll tell them, sure, but it's not a big deal to him.

Haechan

You can be as much or as little affectionate as you want, as long as he still gets kisses now and then. Really, as long as you give him kisses and a hug or two now and then, he's all good, but, just know, that just because you don't show affection that often, doesn't mean that he won't either, because he will be practically attached to you by the hip when you're at home. He gives you a lot of affection, but, if you ever get too uncomfortable, just say the word and he'll tone it down for awhile.

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heradion · 3 months

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Destiel ≠ Cockles

Shipping Destiel is ok, but Cockles is not. Here are my thoughts on this.

Ok I think it is important for someone to post this because I've seen a lot of posts shipping Misha and Jensen or 'Cockles' as they would call it. Let's be clear, I ship Destiel, aka Castiel and Dean NOT Misha and Jensen.

Here are some things which are NOT okay, and some of ya'll should stop doing.

Cockles is NOT Destiel. Destiel is the shipping of the characters Dean and Castiel played by Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins respectively. They are simply characters played by them, it DOES NOT mean that it attributes to their working relationship/friendship in real life.

It is extremely disrespectful to their families and super weird for the actors themselves and it may affect their friendship in real life due to excessive fan shipping where all of their actions or interactions are put under a microscope for everyone to assess.

2. Destiel is fictional. Destiel is fictional and based on their character's interactions on screen, Cockles on the other hand is REAL LIFE, It is NOT okay to ship actors in real life who have wives and families, and saying they have a "special bond" aside from their family. It is weird to them. Cheering them on at any physical contact on stage is weird, they are JUST friends, or just co-workers.

3. Showing fanart about Destiel. This might be an unpopular opinion, but showing inappropriate fanart of the two characters is still borderline awkward for the actors to see, such as them embracing naked or being overtly sexual is just extremely weird for them to see. Do not push it on their faces and make it out to be them being homophobic when they just don't want to see themselves or the character they play in an inappropriate manner.

Post your art on tumblr for others to see and appreciate but it is a little weird for the actors to see themselves in that manner.

Lastly, Don't go around making assumptions that Misha or Jensen are homophobic or hate Destiel just because they have a different opinion or don't talk about it. They don't owe you their support and can very well chose not to talk about this if it is something that has gotten them hate in the past.

These are characters they play, the storyline is written by someone else, not everything is in their control. Quit blaming them for not talking about it as we don't know what is going on behind the scenes. For all we know, they've been told not to talk about Destiel openly or are uncomfortable about giving their opinion on it as it may get twisted or even make the writers of the show look bad.

Joking about their friendship and having fun like they both did recently at Jibcon 11 is different from actively shipping them and wanting them to be together or that they are closeted and "in hiding".

Feel free to retweet or comment your thoughts on this.

#supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #deancas #dean x castiel #destiel #jensen ackles #misha collins #cockles #shipping discourse #fandom

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drhenryblack · 5 months

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Finally got some fucking motivation

So, finally, I'm explaining the "Human AU" cause I'm happy my post got attention. And, please, I don't wanna sound cringe or anything but seriously, thank you for the amount of attention I've gotten over my posts, I really appreciate it. Now, time to get going! This story follows our soppy wet cat, dear darling Pomni, who's on a hunt for a part-time job because her job at C&A is not getting her enough money and she can't live on ramen and tap water forever. So, she gets a job at "The Amazing Digital Circus", a circus that uses modern-day technology like holograms and sound effects in its weekly shows. She joins and meets her now co-workers. There's Gangle, your classic introverted theater kid. Zooble, the puzzle master who despite her "I am done with your shit" behavior, is surprisingly good at entertaining kids. Kinger is a magician but also helps in the accounts. Ragatha, the human pincushion, and finally, Jax and Kaufmo, the brother comedians. She, at first, joins as a temporary employee, just ment to help before performance and all that, until she meets...him. Caine, the ringmaster. But what's worse, is that she's seen him, the REAL him. That look haunts her. Those unusually perfect teeth, that cracked skin that haunting feeling of seeing his jaw open abnormally wide. But what's worse is that somehow, he wants to promote her to be a permanent employee, mostly ever since he heard that she worked for C&A...weird... But shit gets a lot worse when one day, she has to stay after hours and sees some shit she dosen't want to. There he was, Caine, surrounded by nearly 50 men, guns, armor, what not. But it didn't last long. She covered her mouth, breath hitching in her throat as he ripped of his skin. 'one...two...three' He grabbed them, and slowly, it all went down... blood...scream...yell...help...muscle...intestine...stomach...teeth...sharp...gun...monster...tears...help...help...help She couldn't move, not one bit. Her body frozen as if ice. Each one of them, each one of them...each one those men...ripped, killed, shredded, broken, yelling. Yes, her life was gonna go to shit. Now she's wondering how the hell she's ever gonna face her boss, who apparently is an AI experiment who escaped C&A, the very place she currently worked for. No wonder he wanted to make her a permanent employee! I mean she knew her jokes were so bad that people laughed at them, but not that much! She doesn't know what to do, but then it hit her... When he got to know she was a C&A employe, why didn't he fire her at that moment? ... ... shit... she's in love with her boss... her life really was going to shit... So know were left with a traumatized Human-AI who's pretending he's not a fucking monster and another traumatized little wet cat wondering how the hell she even fell for him in the first place. And that's as far as I've fucking gotten. Working on a fic and a lot of art. Just waiting to get back home so I can post them. See ya'll, and the next time you'll see me, is with food.

#caine x pomni #tadc caine #tadc pomni #the amazing digital circus #pomni #pomni tadc #showtime #showtime ship #showtime tadc #tadc fandom #tadc Caine #Caine #caine tadc #jax #kaufmo #gangle #zooble #the amazing digital circus caine #pomni x caine

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subwaytostardew · 23 days

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youtube

Subway to Stardew - Passenger Events - Saloon Part 2

This plays after you see the first saloon event (submas having lunch with Elliott!) and visit on a Friday after reaching 3 hearts with Elesa.

Commentary under the read-more!

Did you notice the sprites? No? Great! I finally stopped procrastinating and recolored their spritesheets so now they don't share the same brown outline and match vanilla style a bit more!

Sprite-wise... they're over 80. Emmet's in his 90's.

So many sprites.....

Also... Elesa's back! We have a basic outline for what would happen in Elesa's events, but we haven't written anything for her yet... She has plans though! She's rounding up all the artists for it. Meanwhile, submas are still struggling with passenger relations.

Elesa's storyline is going to be fun to plan out but one of her B plots is making sure Ingo and Emmet take their breaks!

Elesa's fun. She's a bit awkward herself (girl can NOT keep a secret for the life of her) but she's doing things. Nimbasa trio share a braincell and they pass it around throughout this event.

We wanted to show a little more insight into their life in the valley and how others feel about them. This time, you're catching them on a bad day. One of my favorite things about Stardew is how everyone is very much flawed in some way and everyone is an unreliable narrator. I love how it just presents life in a run-down town as is and it's up to you to interpret whatever glimpses you get.

Trying to merge the two different media's in terms of tone and seriousness is a bit complex. Pokémon - as a franchise - is at the end of a the day; kid friendly. Stardew Valley, while may look happy go lucky and cute touches upon some really heavy topics.

We are basically skirting the lines here and there with the themes and even trying to make it in character for the Pokémon characters as well.

Taking a kid friendly characters and just trying to touch upon tough subjects while also trying not to seem OOC or off - is tough. So creative liberties it is.

Not everyone gets along in Stardew. I tried to emphasize that in Sebastian's distaste for submas. He would hate being their neighbor. He's cranky because he can't sleep in until 10:00 AM anymore because they're already at work before it turns 6:00 in the morning. Extreme opposites with their problems.

Sebastian and Submas DO NOT get along... They may tolerate each other at the end of the story but they just do not mix well.

I also think that Sebastian would just project a lot of his personal problems onto them... He already does that with Maru. He's not the best taking out his frustrations in the right direction. Haven't finished Maru's passenger event yet (another battle event...) but submas would be decently close with her since she has an interest in Pokemon and Sebastian would take that as "siding" against him. They are also decently aquainted with Demetrius which isn't the best for Sebastian's dad issues. He's not fond of the invasive species they brought in but they do appreciate infodumping to each other about mechanics and such.

Oh, Demetrius... I'm going to have fun with world building info-dumps with him. Ya'll like world building? Well, talk to the villagers, they may have a glimpse into things.

I do headcanon Demetrius (pretty much painfully canon...), Maru, and Sebastian as autistic themselves just like the Nimbasa trio. Unfortunately, that does not necessarily mean that they'll always have solidarity. For one, Sebastian's sensitivity to loud noises puts him at odds with Ingo. Submas fare better with the more infodumpy types.

Sibling relations are a sore subject for all of them so submas are horrified at even the thought of splitting tracks and hating each other because they have codependency issues; Sebastian has an inferiority complex and hates how they make him feel like even more of a failure because he doesn't like Maru. Neither parties are exactly healthy, but you can pick between who you're going for! (I was curious as to what the deal was with Sebastian so he was the first bachelor I married... I think you can tell that I divorced him.)

Sebastian has his issues... He was also going to be my first bachelor but uhh, I went with Harvey. I still love Sebastian as a character tho, he is really complex especially family dynamic wise. I do feel bad for him....

He does. I do appreciate how messy his family dynamic is, but I'm a little biased against him since I appreciate Maru and Demetrius more (sorry). I really like how he doesn't handle his issues healthily (I mean... look at Emmet.) and it's interesting to compare him to the other characters.

Like Sam! Sam's a good kid (college age 20 something year old...) and actually really emotionally mature even if he's a bit childish at times. Abigail... isn't quite all there yet but she has a strong sense of what's right and wrong. She's less hesitant than Sam when it comes to things, but Sam serves a bit as damage control here. I headcanon Sam and Abigail to have ADHD so they kind of have an idea about submas being autistic and what that entails, but it's not at the forefront of their mind. It doesn't help that their autism manifests in verrrrry different ways and they don't really know them all that well in the first place. It's a bit awkward between them but they're okay with each other.

We had a bit of fun determining the heart point changes between each route. Personally, I think friendship decreases are hilarious. Also if you don't back up anyone in this situation then... 🤨

(1) Sebastian -

Ingo -100 | Emmet -250 | Sebastian +250 | Sam -5 | Abigail -15

(2) Ingo -

Ingo +40 | Emmet +5 | Sebastian -100 | Sam -20 | Abigail -25

(3) Emmet -

Ingo +25 | Emmet +30 | Sebastian -100 | Sam -5 | Abigail -5

(4) Sam and Abigail -

Ingo +20 | Emmet +5 | Sebastian -40 | Sam +50 | Abigail +50

(5) Nobody -

Ingo -50 | Emmet -200 | Sebastian -200 | Sam -50 | Abigail -50

I don't see friendship decreases as characters getting angry at you per se. It can always just be them feeling awkward and wanting to distance themselves from you for a bit. For example, if you reject Ingo in his 8 heart event, you get knocked down two hearts just so you can get more friendly-but-not-too-friendly dialogue before it stagnates again at 8 hearts.

The "true ending" is Sam and Abigail's route since they're fairly neutral picks. You should stand up for them! Sebastian would agree that him lashing out was wrong, but he just doesn't want to talk to you about it. Why would he? You would just lecture him or something.

Bad ending is not siding with anybody like a coward. Sebastian's being a bit of a bully here (mainly to a grown man a whole head taller than him, but still, his friends got caught in the crossfire) and if you're wishy-washy then that's just odd of you as the town's farmer and supposed protagonist that goes out of their way to befriend everyone. Not a good look.

Sebastian's route is a bit of a jab at how his romance plays out. A few people have mentioned Emmet and Sebastian being friends with each other under the reasoning that they're lonely autists (but mostly just being favorites, which I get) buuuut... Not sure why you would go for Sebastian when submas is right there. Pick one or the other. They're enemies here. I can't quite see them getting along past that surface-level analysis. Smoking alone is a hard No. from Emmet since birds are super sensitive to airborne toxins (so much so, you can't even have non-stick pans around them!) and he's protective over his defeatist of an Archeops.

Ingo's route is more for fun than anything. If you really want Ingo, you do get the most points with him for mentioning him, but he's confused as to why you're trying to win him over now of all times. He's concerned about Emmet first and foremost!

Emmet has trust issues so even the slightest red flag puts a quite a bit of distance between you. He has low point increases because it's hard to win his trust. In this situation, a point increase mostly just means you didn't do anything wrong. If you side with him, that's what you're supposed to do since he's the side against Sebastian. He may be getting picked on, but he's a bit of an instigator himself. His own route aside, Ingo would be most pleased to see you speak up for his brother. Ingo's route is only has the highest point increases for him because it's well, his.

As for the bar fight... It was a bit difficult to figure out how to make it play out believably and interestingly despite it being three New Yorkers against some grocery store owner. Ingo is more focused on defense, de-escalation, and protecting his passengers (in this case, the college kids). He can take a hit and doesn't want to resort to making any attacks unless absolutely necessary, so he was blocking for the most part. Had Ingo not been the designated grocery shopper, Pierre and Emmet probably would have already killed each other. Emmet doesn't have the patience to deal with Pierre. He thinks Reshiram will smite him for upcharging them and will take it upon himself to deliver the justice of truth. Emmet's swinging at Pierre. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the best defense nor balance when he's kicking and punching. Pierre's too drunk to talk about it, but even sober he suspects that submas are working with Joja because as far as he knows, he saw Morris walk away from the Railroad when they first arrived.

Ah yes. Joja stuff. *Realigns stacks of papers* Lets touch upon Joja here for a moment and Pierre's view of things. When Submas first came around. Pierre was already suspicious of them - more confused if anything - why are two major city boys who also- mind you- come from a foreign region and bring along Pokémon. Take interest in a small town? With an abandon railroad? Right off the bat he does not have a great view; he is worried about his store, his income, and family and this is stemmed all due to Joja Mart.

Now Pierre spots Morris heading towards the railroad - of course Pierre does not know what the interactions between Submas and Morris are. In his mind it's Submas making a deal to work with them or is already with them! Pierre already hates Morris as it is.

That is why he is so passive aggressive to Ingo and Emmet. Just this time around - Pierre is drunk... and Abigail's friend is being "annoyed" by them.

Well... outright agressive in this event haha. I don't quite remember how the idea was finalized, but we decided that they would get into a barfight when doing another "showing passenger relations at the Saloon" event.

As for Joja itself. I most definitely headcannon them in this whole crossover universe as the typical "bad guy" Pokémon team. However they have already won/succeeded (Pokémon are no longer in The Ferngill Republic....) However things are now being shaken up and changing.

I could go on and on about Joja and how I view them... but I think that will be a separate post (if people want to know)

The fight was a pain to debug. For one, Pierre kept running off into the void like a coward. Ingo's lines about staying behind the yellow line were made in the debugging phase because I got fed up with him for doing that.

Worse yet. 1.6 broke the Pokemon animations so now I have to go back into every event and redo everything (RIP green bean X-Scissor). The old method I was using no longer worked; before, I was using the addObject command. Now they show up as error signs because the sprites that were previously on the sheet called from were removed as they are not valid objects.

I ended up having to figure out the temporarySprites command to replace the "using a Pokeball" animation. There are no instances of it being used in vanilla. Nobody seemed to figure it out either, so I had to make a mini-event just to test its usage and figure it out.

I eventually did. Thanks to the help of my emotional support Emmet.

Ah yes... 1.6 has broken some events. Small things. (events are still playable) But we will definitely be revisiting some events to improve or make better. Or to just fix.

I have so much backtracking to do 😭😭😭😭😭 Oh well... I thought events were safe to work on since barely anything about them changed in 1.6... I was wrong.

The ending had quite a bit of revising for concision and tone. It was much more lighthearted in Kade's drafts, but I figured that Emmet is low on steam and probably would have gone nonverbal after everything. Too much passenger interaction for the day. He just wants to depart back to his home station.

Yeah there was a lot of dialog and exposition cut. (Hmm no wonder why it's only 13 minutes long. lol)

Only 13 minutes... Still a lot considering that most vanilla events are around the 1-3 minute mark...

Poor Emmet.. and Ingo. I won't lie, when first seeing the event I burst out laughing during the fistfight. Just somthing about Ingo suddenly collapsing due to Pierre. BUT THEY'RE OKAY - ISH.

It's a bit comical! I had fun ragdolling them. Emmet was going to be much more swingy in his attacks but I ended up not keeping it in since it just didn't look right when used as an animation frame.

We at least kept one of the rag-doll sprite as a "knock back" from Pierre. Which transitions well with his passed out sprite.

Until next time! Thank you for boarding!

#subway to stardew #submas #pokemon #stardew valley #ingo #emmet #elesa #sdv mods #subway to stardew terminal station

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