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queenofgravyfries · 1 year

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I'm so happy people love my rise! Hcs, so I'd figure I'd share my hcs for rc9gn as well.

Randy-

He believes in Judaism like Howard's family, he started to study it and follow the religion because of the weinermens as well. He hasn't told his family yet because they follow a different religion and want him to follow it(the Japanese religion Shinto).

His dad's away on work trips a lot, it's why he brings up his mom so much, she's the one always around.

His mom works as a caretaker for young kids(like Marci did), she's in her own head a lot so Randy can often get away with a lot.

Randy sometimes does dumb crap to cheer someone up(can't cry if you're laughing at him).

I joke about him being blood thirsty but in all honesty I don't think he is, he'd kill out of necessity but even then he be merciful(to people, animals/beasts are free game). And even then he wouldn't like it. A "I did what I had to" kinda situation.

Mature for his age due to his parents being busy most of the time.

Nothing wrong with weinerham as a ship(I just want to make that clear) but personally, I think they'd see each other more as brothers, I think Randy associates the whole weinermen family into his own, AGAIN there is nothing wrong with shipping weinerham! What i am saying is mere opinion, please Don't use this to attack anyone!.

Has called Mort dad before, it was a great moment for Mort.

Considers Mort and First ninja as father figures, in their own right. Not that he doesn't care for his bio dad, they all help him in some parental way, Mort being the comforting force, First ninja the motivating one and his bio dad being fun loving one.

Is very proud of his Japanese culture, his dad would make him study the language, history, and mythology, which was the one type of teaching he liked.

Is Very protective and clingy when he's in love.

Gets physically violent if mad enough (see: Raiders of the lost nomicon scene with bash as that's where I got the idea) which is why he tries to restrain his emotions.

Met Theresa off screen by bumping into her a little before "so you think you can stank?".

Has nightmares about Norrisville getting destroyed, normally he can handle it but sometimes it scares him bad enough he needs Something to shake him back to reality.

Ploplop-

Has definitely got some magic skills.

Grew up with first ninja, the nine took him off the streets when they first found norrisville.

Is actually First Ninja's voice of reason when he gets angry.

Helped the "shadow warrior"nine brother with his magical techniques.

First ninja-

* these are mostly on the idea of him being in modern day

Would absolutely own a dog named something like poopsie or spots.

Leather jackets and motorcycles 💫

Is addicted to coffee, rarely sleeps, and has in fact gotten dragged across his home by ploplop demanding he respect his wish to "sleep when he's dead" lol.

He was the baby brother ™️ of the nine. He looked up to all of them.

One of his brothers created the "Shadow warrior" persona out of "necessity", he truly believed fear would give them the power to stop the sorcerer.

First ninja studied every method, fighting technique, rages etc. From his brothers, he wanted to be as good as them someday.

The dragon fist move he does in "13th century Ninja" is a move only he can do. his brothers had moves exclusive to each of them as well.

It bothers him about his anger, he wants to teach himself to calm down but it's difficult, given the situations he often finds himself in.

Gets as jealous as Randy if ploplop gets other friends, it's like a yandere but in a more platonic way.

Him and Slimovitz would be pals i think.

LOVES SHARP THINGS, WEAPONS, KNIVES, THEY MAKE HIS SQUARE HEAD GO BRRR.

Used to head butt and bite his opponents, until his eldest brother demanded he stop.

The red tie he has his hair tied back with is from his second eldest brother, who was almost like a mother to him.

Booray-

Born in the swamp, parents died while he was really young.

Grigri/swamp spirit is either a witch he knew or his bio mom, either way she dead now 🤷‍♀️.

The creep/Bruce Mcheese-

Slob lifestyle 💫

Is the strongest thing in rc9gn's universe yet doesn't raise a finger at threats because 💖trauma💖.

Isn't from Norrisville, wasn't even born there(my man gotta be from a realm)

Has a mythical gf but they argue a lot.

Is closest to first ninja since they've spent the most time together.

Pacifist in present day, menace in the past.

Theresa-

Wants to become an actress

Needs reassurance a lot

Cries regardless of emotion

Isn't fond of Howard but is more then willing to change that for Randy's sake.

Is being raised by her step mother(she's big, Scottish, and very protective).

Has a parrot(patty) along with the hamster(sammy).

Norrisville-

Everyone lives scarily longer then normal, side effect of the stankings. it's why no one bats an eye at immortals like Ward Smith or Creep.

Tourists often visit to try and live longer as well, or get some footage of a monster attack.

Those "top 5 unsolved mysteries" videos are flooded on Shoobtube, almost all of them talk about norrisville. Norrisvilians watch them to laugh at since there always because of a stanking or robot.

People outside of norrisville are mixed about The ninja, some are grateful he saves at least one town, others wish he would extend his heroism.

#rc9gn #rc9gn randy #rc9gn fanart #disney #rc9gn au #randy cunningham #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja

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insidiousintentions · 2 years

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TCM: GITL 3

This is the first posting of a story on tumblr. I hope everything works out well. It is going to be for sure NSFW in some places. Absolutely 18+ You know the story and how the family works. Don’t be mad, we all know what you came here for to read. Don’t be upset because of something silly. It is not an x reader story, my brain can’t function that way, I’m sorry.

Let me know how it is... Please.. Q~Q

Part Three

Despite the incident happening in the back seat, Hank continued on driving well above the speed limit. Even the small change from the road to a small town, he disregarded it, making it home as fast as he could. “Alright gentlemen, dinner is on me at my place. You know where to visit.”

The radio cracked and a solid booming voice was overheard, “Bowen, you best better not have anyone in your truck besides you and your boys.”

“Nah, sheriff. That’ll be a 10-10, sir. After all, we jus’ headin’ on home. Wen’ and took them boys fishin’. We caught some nice, thick, meaty ones. I can share once we done cookin’ if you like.”

“I will not be tasting anything you’re offering unless you’re in cuffs and in the back of my squad car begging me for sanctuary. Hank Bowen, this is gotta be the end of it. Now, answer me. Do you have a woman in your vehicle?”

“No, Sir. I don’ see any ladies here.”

Catching everyone by surprise, Iris blurted out at the top of her lungs, “10-67, Code 2: 209, 261, Henry, Edward, Lincoln, Paul!” Iris made eye contact with Hank driving the truck, his jaw down past his knees in shock. “Hotel, Echo, Lima, Papa!”

Before Hank had a chance to release his hand from the record button, Junior had profanities flying out of his mouth as quickly as a punch had landed to Iris’s left eye. The voice rang through again from the radio, this time chatter in the background was heard, “Hank, that sounded like a woman if you ask me. Now, I’ll be heading towards your place and we can sort things out.”

“How abou’ dis? I come over and pay yer wife a visit. See what she thinks of a real man takin’ her to bed. Oh, I jus’ know she won’ be able to take ev’ry last inch of me. Now, get off our channel Howard.” Hank was redder than the inside of a watermelon, steam could’ve been rolling out from his ears. “Get a hold of that woman boy, or she gonna say hi to momma for us.”

More static graced the atmosphere of the truck, and the sheriff spoke again. “That’s Sheriff Duvall to you, Hank. This isn’t some school thing anymore. I’m on my way after you right now. So let’s cut the crap and you turn yourself in.”

“Over my dead body! I’m not listenin’ to another damn thing ya have to say Howard.” In order to do that, Hank took a band and wrapped it around the button, fully recording the rest of anything happening in the truck. “Boy, fuckin’ punch her again. We’ll drive out till we die. Fuckin’ make me a grandkid or I’m not goin’ home. The only way I’m goin’ anywhere wit a cop is if I’m dead! So, fuck you.”

“As you wish…” In the shooken states of the two boys, and the space where Hank couldn’t stop Iris, she had reached to her boot that was hidden away by Hank pulling out a bone carved blade. There were no solid words from her besides a yell. Along with the yell were Hank junior’s screams in pain.

“You fuckin’ bitch!” He recoiled, his body being released from any contact with her, now sobbing, the man looked up to Iris, her eyes glaring and her face seething with pure rage. “You jus’ cut my fucking dick off!” His own face soured, but turned into terror when Iris flipped rolls, now positioning her bloodied thighs over top of Junior.

Leaning into him, she pressed the blade to his temple, “I’ll make you just as pretty as me then. Not only will you ever fuck a bitch again, you’ll never show your face again!” The ongoing listeners were astounded at the events happening. None of them expected anything like this to be heard over their radios, but nonetheless they continued to listen on in. Again, the older sheriff listening took to showcasing a smile as he drove now closer to the north taking back roads to cross county lines. Screams from Junior froze Preston in his seat, his eyes scarred from the sight of his brother’s bloodied mess of a crotch. Iris caught her breath, and before she could think of anything else, a twisted thought ran through her mind. The idea of it amusing her enough to do such a thing regardless. “Eat this.” With pulling what remains of the man’s cock from within her body, Iris used her blade to pry open Junior’s mouth, his sobs begging and pleading for her to stop. His pleas fell on deaf ears, as Iris shoved the entire length down into Junior’s throat finally after the third punch to the jagged cut off end.

Hank tried to cough, soon enough his face turned shades of a sunset as he was gagging and choking on his own dick. Looking over to Preston, the boy had already opened the door, fight or flight response lending him aid to escape the driving vehicle. The boy’s body caused a plume of smoke to erupt where he landed. The driver of the truck looked over to see his son flee, his own worried state now startling him enough to look over towards Iris and his son. Seeing the blood staining his back seat, the man’s fatherly instincts found its way into his horrible being enough to try and protect his son, despite it being too late. The crying mess of a son in the back seat was shrouded by Iris as she carved lines into his skin down to his chest. Being so distracted by her work, Iris didn’t stand a chance as her golden blonde locks were pulled taut. Hank used all his force, yanking the now attacker into the front and away from his choking son. Whatever he thought he could do changed once the nimble body of Iris crawled through to the middle seat of the truck gaining footing enough to hold herself firm, reaching for a seat belt as quickly as she could and wrapped her lower body inside of the piece. The scream coming from Iris as Hank pulled on her hair once again startled listeners from all around.

With dagger in hand, sharpness matching Iris’s eyes and her few teeth, she smiled, showcasing them to the man. “You’re a fuckin’ monster!”

“We’re in Texas dumbass. Mess with the horns and you get the Devil.” Within a lightning strike of time, Iris had bit into the man’s shoulder, a scream that made some listeners sick as he hollered. Once again the sheriff listening in on the mess, cruising on into the county smiled. His cold eyes shifted towards his radio and a snicker escaped. His mind liked the screams of the guy. It excited him if not aroused him.

Another scream and a wail came from Hank. His flailing knocked the pick up from drive to neutral, forcing them to slow down enough to not be driving as erratically as they once were. Crying was heard, this time begging as well as his son had done before. Hank cried out for help, pleading for someone to save him before screaming, agony making the man even pass out as Iris carved into his face as well.

Before anything could happen, Iris tucked herself into the leg space of the passenger seat, hanging onto her things and the Model 94 rifle from the dash. Iris had seen that ahead on the road, at the county line sat a row of squad cars. With the portly man driving in the way of finding the break, Iris instead braced for impact. Her mind slipped into other thoughts of what was going to happen when they found her.

A fit of coughing brought her back to her senses, she looked up to see Hank with his head leaning over top of her. Instead his son Junior had dislodged his own dick from his mouth and began coughing for air. The burn in his eyes and throat made his voice harsh to use, but he managed enough to yell at his father to watch out. Now being startled, Hank sat up, his head hurting and confused as he saw the police before him. With only time to slam on the breaks, forty yards before the vehicles lay a line of spikes to pop his tires. As the truck kept on down the road, the spikes did indeed find their target, popping both of the passenger side tires as he passed over. The motion of this caused the truck to lurch to the side and roll over twice before landing upside down. People started to surround the crumpled up metal.

Hank lay hollering out in pain, his body smashed onto his upper, leaving him without much room to move around unlike the leaner frame of Iris. She kicked her bags out of the window, took the rifle and what she found of ammo in the glove box after shimmying herself out of the passenger side.

“Ma’am? Ma’am lay down the weapon, and we are going to help you.”

Letting out an exasperated scream, rocked herself on her knees a moment putting her things in order and to the side. Looking up towards the sky for one last time, tears made their way down her cheeks, taking dirt with them as they trailed down her face. Iris laid down on her stomach, holding her hands up and over her head before she was even asked to do so. Officers saw her actions and immediately started to help her to her feet, a couple of them bringing her items along with them when they started to guide her towards the vehicles they had waiting and ready for the perpetrators.

An officer kelt down as Iris sat in the back seat of his vehicle, “Miss, you don’t have to say anything right now. You’re probably in shock. We are going to get you to town and get you some medical attention. Do you have anything else in the pick up?”

Iris shook her head, her eyes never leaving the ground. In her boot kept the dagger, still bloodied, but not going to be noticed by the authorities. The mess along her body scared many onlookers, more for the thought of what had happened than her well-being. A few people would go up to her, offer assistance and words of advice and encouragement, “You were so brave,” “That was a complete mess you survived,” “You were so strong,” “I can’t believe you made it out of there,” “Maybe you shouldn’t hitchhike like that again.”

Frozen, the deadpan stare of Iris met the eyes to stoic men, only for their tails to retreat, “I wasn’t hitchhiking. They kidnapped me. I don’t own a vehicle, so I walk. I’m not looking for favors or sympathy. If I did that, then my family would roll in their graves.”

Shortly after the deputy’s apology, the sheriff, older, middle-aged man, the same voice from the radio earlier, “Miss, I’m Sheriff Howard Duvall. I’ll have one of my deputies here take you in town. I’ll have to question you and make sure a lady as yourself is in a sound of mind before I let you go anywhere. The scene in that truck looks rather, erm, gruesome. To say the least I suppose. But, I am quite curious how you know those codes? And civilian and military alphabets.”

“It get easy when that’s all you learned growing up. Either helping pa with… Certain duties, or granpa out at the jail. Be it cleaning the floors or guns. Hell, I would pick up calls and tell them where to go when I was just ten.” The straightening of her chest and shoulders took the others by surprise, as Iris stood up straighter, her smaller looking body was not that. Standing five foot seven, she carried herself as if she were a force to be reckoned with, and that she was. Her eyes darted to a squad car pulling up, people rushing to help the broken armed boy, his wails in pain only making Iris’s nostril’s flare.

The sheriff watched as the younger of the brothers nearly screamed like a girl seeing Iris. Everyone watched as the man kicked and flailed his one good arm, wincing when his other arm dangled. Fear was driven through his bones more than a nail could ever hope to damage. He tried to run away upon seeing her, only to be caught and ushered into a different vehicle. Nobody cared to listen to his rambles, begging for safety as Iris only let out a small smile shortly before licking her teeth at him. Her canines were more pronounced along with the next tooth towards the center also looking to be her canine. Her sharpened teeth were made on purpose, they helped her tear into meat she would cook on the side of the road, such a simple thing that would scare anyone face to face with her.

“Kill her! She’s the real monster here! Kill that bitch!”

They called her a monster, and that she became.

#tcm #tcm the beginning #tcm 2006 #tcm 2003 #texaschainsawmassacre #Thomas Hewitt #leatherface x reader #Leatherface

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trapped-in-a-bottle · 4 years

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My "What ifs/Head Canons" based off if this post that was posted by @robertdowneys :

Imagine if Ana and Edwin had kids 😪😪

I bet their kid and Tont would be inseparable and Tony would have some extra support and love and people telling him that he WILL be some one in the future. That he IS a genius and they are so very proud of him. That Captain America WOULD very much be proud of Tony. And that even IF Howard doest love him that THEY DO AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. And an older Brother and/or Sister that stands up to Howard and protects Tony at all cost and tells him not to listen to that man because Tony is exactly the Opposite of what He said. And/or a younger brother and/or Sister that look at Tony as if he hung the Moon and Stars. That tells Tony that they want to be as smart as their big brother one day because their big brother is smarter than anyone else they know.

Now imagine the Younger Sibling(s) crawling into Tony's bed in the middle of the night because they "Want to be with big brother because big brother always scares away the nightmares." And the younger sibling(s) just following Tony around like a happy little puppy. And Tony just loving the kid(s) so damn much that he takes the blame for all the things the younger sibling(s) does. [Even though the younger sibling(s) rarely does anything bad and if they do it's purely by accident] (but as they grow up with Tony that slowly dwindles and they become partners in crime.

Now the Older sibling(s).

Imagine them letting tiny little Tony crawl into bed with them because he had another nightmare about Howard again and was crying about, why his daddy didnt love him. And that absolutely breaking their hearts because this little innocent clueless bean sldoesnt DESERVE to be put through this but they just place little baby Tony on their lap, turn on their lamp beside the bed and tell him that he is very smart and loved and appreciated by Ana, Edwin and them and that Howard just doesnt know what he is missing. And the older sibling(s) softly sings a Hungarian lullaby that gets little baby Tont to sleep in an instant. They always try their damned hardest to make sure Tony and Howard are never in the same room but of course that never works entirely because Howard is as sneaky as they come but Ana and Edwin are always their to try to keep them separated as long as they can before they are whisked away by some impending chore leaving a very intimidated Tont with Howard.

Now imagine Both Older and Younger siblings making sure Tony is NEVER alone. Even when is whisked away to M.I.T they visit him every single weekend and are ECSTATIC to hear he made a new friend named Jamea Rubert Rhodes but Tony calls him Rhodey and a bunch of other nicknames that doesn't even make them blink because Tony is the Master of giving the weirdest nicknames. Now imagine how they feel when the one time they do NOT go with Tony to a business trip is when he gets kidnapped. Imagine how they feel when Tony finally gets back and suddenly closes off from everyone. No one can get through to him. Not Rhodey not Pepper not even them. Imagine how they feel at The Party [(Iron Man 2)] when Rhodey and Tony start fighting. Imagine how they feel when they find out Tony is dieing from the very thing that is keeping him alive.

[(I'm gonna stop here 'cos I'm not good at writing angst.)]

Anyways. Feel free to add on!

^-^

@aurumacadicus @naferty @tonystarkdefensesquad @tonystarkdeserveshappiness

#iron man #tony stark #james rhodes #rhodey #pepper potts #ana jarvis #edwin jarvis #howard stark #just another reason to hate Howard Stark.#Howard Stark didnt deserve to have Tony as a child.#tony #tony deserves better #Ana and Edwin.#smh man #Howard you absolute crap head.#jarvis #the jarvis's

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lonelyghosts-stuff · 3 years

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Marvel’s What If Episode 7 Reaction

No no this is the opposite of what I wanted. More Loki! Not less!

If they don’t have Thor being an absolute idiot without Loki being his voice of reason I’m gonna be upset

Wait what the hell I saw Seth Green in the opening credits lmao??? Now I’m just thinking about Chris Griffin

DARCY

Wow they got Jane back too

Soooo how do they know about aliens?

“HOLY MOLY” lmao

Hey thor my life isn’t that dull… okay fine that’s a lie

Sooo Thor is a frat boy?

YOOOO I NEED A SCREENSHOT OF THAT ART WITH THOR AND LOKI

ALL OF IT

Soooo in this world, Odin was a good dude and didn’t kidnap Loki and gave him back to Laufey? (Didnt Laufey abandon him tho since he was too small? I guess in this universe they simply… lost their prince? Lmao?)

Thor didn’t have Loki as his voice of reason I called it.

Night night Odin

Lmao Chad Frigga dipping Odin as soon as he’s asleep

I wonder if they got Idris Elba back for Heimdall?

“We are going to the most backward, backwater planet that not even Heimdall pays attention to.” D,: Thor why you gotta do me dirty like that???

Chris Hemsworth is definitely a better voice actor than some others

Oh yo it be Skurge

Darcy into probing huh?

(Romantic Music Playing) lmao

Man I love Darcy

Poor Howard the Duck lmao (oh yea that’s Seth green)

Skrulls huh

Honestly surprised Thor knows all of these planets. Including the grandmaster??? In the sacred timeline he didn’t even know Sakaar existed.

Wait so, are the Asgardians on good terms with Jotunheim then? If so, I wanna see party loki. Or maybe he’s too reserved for that. I wonder how Laufey raised him? IF WE DONT SEE JOTUN LOKI IM GONNA RIOT

Thor destroyed a star. That sounds about right

“Now that was an excellent party. You know, we lost Fandral for three days. Found him in a barn, curled up next to a baby goat. It was classic. Isn’t that right, Fandral?” “I NAMED HIM GARY!” “Yeah, you did.” “YEA GOATS!” Okay. Screw everyone else in the MCU. I love Fandral now. He’s the GOAT, pun intended

Oh not a star, he killed a whole planet.

I thought Asgardians were supposed to be more advanced than earth but making a tablet is so complicated?

Howard and Darcy was not a pair I thought expected

Yo it’s nebula and korg? So where’s Thanos? How is nebula allowed to go partying with Thanos looking for the infinity stones?

Drax too? Isn’t he in prison? And then Valkyrie? Seems like a lot more than just Thor being an only child is different in this universe. Most of these dudes should hypothetically be in prison or on super serious missions. And I just thought, isn’t Howard the duck imprisoned by the Collector? What’s the timeline for this?

DARCY MARRIES HOWARD THE DUCK? GIRL YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HIM AND HIS CORKSCREW WANG!

Aaaaaand Jane and Thor got magic and science tattoos. Mighty fast character progression.

Oh? Hookups? That took a turn.

Awwwww Fandral snuggling with a bunch of Chinchilla looking animals <3

Unknown caller?

Dammit Rumlow

Rocket???

Acting director??? What happened to Nick???

KORG NO

Damn everyone crashed at Jane’s

I mean, didn’t seem like too much of a threat

PHIL!!!

Lmao the world isn’t gonna be destroyed by parties?

Oh Carol Danvers?

Okay so…. Lemme get this straight..

Loki and an army of aliens attacking the world? Shield: “nah not a threat.” Robot with robot army threatening to destroy the whole planet “nah Carol has better things to do.” A partying dude from space with no ill intent but just doesn’t seem to understand consequences? “CALL CAPTAIN MARVEL WE NEED HER!!!” Yea okay Shield

Thor loves waffles

LOKI

JOTUN LOKI

HES HERE

LOKI!!!

HOLY CRAP HES HUGE

HE HAS ICE HORNS

See everything would be better without Odin’s interference.

(That’s what she said)

YAY THEYRE FRIENDS

“You’re my brother form another mother man.” YOOOOOO

Loki just sang “Brothers foreveeeeerrrrr!” I can’t—

Aaaaaand fart jokes… “did you boom?” “I never boom. I only boom in private.” Dammit marvel I hoped you were better than this.

LOKI MAKE A WISH

White snake? Lmao where did she get that name lol.

What’s wrong with a party tho? Is this really top priority? Yea they destroyed another planet, but you never explained how

Why doesn’t she sound like Brie Larson? She’s still acting for Marvel Studios so it’s interesting they couldn’t get her for it… unless it is her and I just can’t remember how her voice sounds

Was that punch really necessary? Dude wasn’t posing a threat to anyone.

“You know, there’s a Midgardian word for women like you.” THOR NO—

“PARTY POOPER!” Oh thank God

“This ones for fury” but it wasn’t even Thor that hit him? It was korg and on accident! Cmon carol, I had hoped you’d be smarter than this and more reasonable. Not resorting to violence when nothing has even escalated…

Haha hammer to the face

And the back of the head lmao

BAHAHAHAHA HE JUST SMACKED HER INTO ANOTHER COUNTRY

THOR DONT BOOP STONEHENGE

Dammit Thor

Lmao I love that the countries have their names on them.

Okay just stay and fight here away from civilian population

Marvel really giving us what we want with the most powerful characters fighting

Mary Sue Captain Marvel

Her lipstick has stayed perfect somehow

Fighting in a storm eh? Can’t see how this could go wrong

Haha hammer timeout

Lmao I wanna see Frigga put Thor in a timeout

They’re chanting pooper at her. Is this elementary school again?

Bruh I just realized, Thor is supposed to be acting king while Odin is in Odin sleep lmao. I bet Asgard is going to either be in the best peace ever without Thor or utterly destroyed.

Leave south and north Dakota alone lol

Lmao I love Darcy

YAY GARY THE GOAT WAS SAFE

Wow Jane used the L word fast

Kicking Jane out of the helicarrier? Yea smart move kicking off the person who actually knows anything about this albeit she is a little blinded by love

Giant Loki holding a tiny phone

BAHAHAAHAHA “hey earth girl, you haven’t got a friend, have you!” YES LOKI ITS ME. MARRY ME

Stop throwing phones lmao

BRUH HOW IS SURTUR NOT EVIL EITHER? AND STOP FLIRTING WITH THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

NO HE DESTROYED HER ARM LMAO

There goes the power grid

NOT THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE

Lmao there he goes

WHY DID KORG HAVE A PACIFIER IN HIS MOUTH

Bout time Heimdall popped in

Aaaaaand Jane got abducted by heimdall

Seeing as Heimdall hasn’t said anything, I’m assuming they didn’t get Idris back lol.

How is shield so chill on murdering Thor? Yes he’s destructive but they’re resorting to killing him so fast instead of talking to him! No one has even told him he’s putting the planet at risk! Dudes too dumb to know on his own!

JANE STOP DRINKING

Damn Maria Hill I had higher hopes for you

Lying Thor

Okay so shield trusts Frigga to help, but still irks me that shield was so trigger/nuke happy… seems the opposite of what we’ve seen of them (ugh just gotta ignore it and chock it up to this being an alternate reality)

Ew Drax

Loki calling the other jotuns “ice bros” lmao

It’s also mantis and Yondu!!

wait how did grandmaster just teleport away like the bifrost?

Nice going thor. You big hunky dummy

“MY MOTHER IS COMING.” Good lord is this high school now lmao???

How do they all know Frigga and why are they all afraid?

Damn the bifrost takes a lot longer than I would have expected

No no Thor the tower of pisa is meant to be tilted—oh whatever

Wait, but I don’t see loki helping, is he gonna be up to something last minute to ruin Thor’s cover up lmao?

I don’t believe Frigga would be tricked this easily lmao

Thor you are such a bad liar

Lmao here comes carol

Hahaha how did mjolnir get so trashed

Wow thor is so much taller than Jane

Wow this Jane and Thor seem to have more chemistry than the sacred timeline version ever did

Wait I want resolve for Loki!!

Uh oh

WHAT

ULTRON VISION WITH THE INFINITY STONES?? HOW

No resolution for that??? Well then. Rip this universe too lmao

Damn I wanted more Loki

There better be a Loki centric episode sometime. If they didn’t it’d a huge missed opportunity from marvel

Okay yea looking at the credits, Carol Danvers wasn’t played by Brie Larson but a lady named Alexandra Daniels. Odd they didn’t get Brie Larson.

Probably my favorite episode so far even with how absurd it was. A lot more upbeat than the past few ones with a better resolve to the story imo.

Also, if anyone can provide me of screenshots of Loki from this episode I would be very grateful

#marvel #marvel studios #marvel cinematic universe #marvel what if…?#marvel what if #what if #what if…?#Thor #thor odinson #Frigga #Loki #loki laufeyson #marvel Thor #marvel Loki #captain marvel #carol danvers

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yourdeepestfathoms · 3 years

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one day, a horn grew from my head (part one)

Beetlejuice, but BJ is more visibly demonic, there’s world building for the Netherworld, and he has a partner helping him...

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- the whole being dead thing! -

A blue truck rattled up the gravel path, racing to beat the storm beginning to brew up in the sky. Rain was already starting to come down, drizzling over the clouds of dust kicked up by the tires. The headlights shone on the wall of an old house in the distance. From the darkness of the surrounding greenery, sharp teeth spread in a wide grin.

“It’s almost time,” said the demon. “Took ‘em long enough. I thought he’d never get back.”

There was stirring at his side. He lightly whacked the figure next to him. His suit was sopped with rainwater, making the sleeves dangly and heavy as they hung around his wrists. It was odd to be in such merciless weather after having to deal with the acid rain back down in the Netherworld. Sometimes he couldn’t help but turn his head up to the downpour and let it run over his face in refreshing waves of coolness without it feeling like his flesh was melting off of his skull.

When his partner didn’t get up, he lightly poked her in the ribs with a claw. She squealed.

“Come on,” he said. “It’s time to wake up.”

The mud-slathered, blood-stained young demon sat up straight from her curled position against his side. She blinked, and the moonlight caught on her bright hazel eyes, making them glow.

��“He’s here,” the larger demon pointed a black-clawed finger at the parked truck and the figure walking to the front door.

The smaller demon flicked her comically large pointy ears at the vehicle, then looked back up at him, eyes shining. A moth landed on one of her horn nubs.

The larger of the two smirked again, alligator teeth flashing. “It’s showtime, kid. Let’s put this plan into action.”

“So, crazy story,” Adam began, taking off his rain-spattered coat. “I got all the way to Howard’s store, and Howard tells me they’re all out of stock.”

“Oh no,” Barbara vocalized her dismay.

“But I asked Howard Junior to check the back for me--”

“Smart.”

“--so he sends little Howard the Third and long story short, I got the last bottle of Manchurian tung oil!”

“That’s great!” Barbara beamed. “Now you can finally finish the crib?”

“Yup!” Adam said, ripping off the cloth of a shiny, wood-carved crib. It was his pride and joy in a strange sort of woodworking way. “It should be ready before the O'Brien’s baby gets here!”

“She had it yesterday.”

Adam blinked. “Oh. Well--” He fumbled for just a moment. “Doesn’t matter! They’ll get it soon! They can put the baby in the…sink…in the meantime!”

Barbara laughed. It was a sweet, high sound that made Adam’s heart flutter.

“That’s definitely a place to put a newborn,” Barbara said.

“It’s round!” Adam said. “It can hold an infant. Plus, it doubles as a bathtub, so you can kill two birds with one stone!”

Barbara chuckled. She was shining one of her newest pottery jugs- her latest hobby. Last week it was painting. The week before that it was embroidery. And the week before that it was composting. He wondered how long this interest would last.

As Adam was shining one of the bars of the crib, rubbing his thumb over the pristine wood, he said, “Maybe we can keep it for ourselves.”

Barbara dropped her jug and it shattered into a thousand orange shards. Adam jumped, nearly ripping the bar right off of the crib. He stood up quickly.

“Are you alright?” he sputtered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Barbara said, haphazardly rushing for the broom. She began sweeping up the broken pieces of clay, then peered over at Adam. “What would we use a crib for?”

“You know…” Adam gestured vaguely.

“A baby,” Barbara smiled softly.

Adam smiled, too. “Yeah.”

“I mean…we do have this whole house,” Barbara said.

“It is a big house,” Adam nodded.

“And we already have a minivan.”

“A minivan is a family car.”

They smiled dreamily, imagining what it would be like to have a baby in their household, babbling adorably, snoozing in their arms, calling them “mama” and “dada”, having toys everywhere, getting in danger as they crawled around, crying, hating them when they grew up…

Adam swallowed thickly. He shifted, and the floorboards creaked below him. “Oh!” He pointed to the ground. “But-- but the floor! Listen to this creaking!” He stepped, and it creaked again, perfectly on time. “We can’t have a family with floors like this! It can be a safety hazard!”

Barbara nodded energetically. She put the broom away and began walking over. “You are absolutely right! Someone could get hurt!”

“Yeah! And we don’t want that to happen!”

“Not at all!”

“We have to do something about it before we have our own baby.”

“Among other things. We have to baby proof this whole house!”

“Yes! Great idea! We should get on that as soon as possible!”

“You’re so right! As soon as possible! So we can get on that baby right away afterw--”

There was then an awful shriek, and Adam realized it came from below as the wood seemed to fold inwards, dropping he and his wife into the darkness below the house. The last thing he remembered was Barbara’s horrific screaming, and then something cold and hard smacking into the back of his skull…

…and far above, in the light of the house, two heads peered into the hole, one with spiky lime green hair and the other wearing a red and black helmet.

“Damn,” Beetlejuice said. “I knew they were going to die, but that was quite the fall.” He stood up straight. “Eh. Still a better death than others I’ve seen. At least their bodies will still be intact. Them being cut in half would make things WAY harder.”

The Jockey nodded at his side. She was leaning treacherously into the hole, so Beetlejuice grabbed her by the back of the helmet to keep her from falling in. He tugged her backwards.

“They’ll get up soon,” Beetlejuice said. “So we gotta get ready. Prepare. Where’s the book?”

The Jockey looked around mutely. Beetlejuice learned rather quickly that she wasn’t much of a talker. He had never actually heard her voice before so he didn’t know if she even could talk, though she did nod when he asked if she could. Whether that was the truth or a lie to save face, he didn’t know, but he didn’t really care because they communicated together rather fine. It was quite a bit easier than he was expecting once he had all of her mannerisms down.

“It’ll show up eventually,” Beetlejuice said, checking the watch he didn’t have. His sleeves were still dripping with rainwater. “In the meantime,” he gazed around the house. “Pretty big place they got here. And for only two people?”

The Jockey pointed to the crib.

“Right. They had been discussing starting their own family,” Beetlejuice nodded. He glanced back into the hole for a moment. The two bodies at the bottom were still in the same position as they had been a minute ago, but the pool of blood gathering around their heads had grown slightly larger. Their lights were definitely knocked out cold. “Hopefully the woman hadn’t actually been pregnant. Nobody likes ghost fetuses. They’re so weird. All crawly and goopy and malformed…” He shuddered.

The Jockey laughed. She was capable of making noises, just didn’t like talking for reasons Beetlejuice still didn’t know.

“What about you? Did you have a house like this? Big? Small? Rich? Poor?”

She looked over at him, flicking one of her ears. She was quiet, as usual.

“I only ask because my housing unit back in the Netherworld was terrible,” Beetlejuice said. “I was once chained in this abyss for, like, a hundred years. It was the worst. Really makes you miss normal houses, doesn’t it?”

The Jockey nodded faintly, her lips pursed, eyebrows knitted together as she stared at him.

There was suddenly a thump as a thick book appeared out of seemingly nowhere, crashing to the ground on a rather ugly green and brown carpet. Beetlejuice picked it up.

“The rulebook,” he presented it to his partner. “Let’s see…” He flipped open to the first few pages and began reading, “The Handbook For The Recently Deceased. Chapter One: The Netherworld. All ghosts should proceed directly to the Netherworld.” He closed it abruptly. “But that isn’t gonna happen! These lovebirds need to stay here with us and haunt their house!”

He thrusted out a hand and the fireplace roared to life, crackling with bright orange flames. The Jockey leapt around to it, the glow making her eyes shine. She followed him over to the mantle as he carelessly threw the handbook into the inferno.

“Whoops!” Beetlejuice exclaimed. “Damn. There goes the book. Now they’ll never get to the Netherworld.”

The Jockey tittered softly. At the same time, there was the sound of shifting from within the hole.

“Barbara…? Are you alright?”

“Oh crap!” Beetlejuice grabbed the Jockey by the arm and yanked her behind the couch with him to hide. They both crouched low, listening as the couple crawled their way out of their tomb.

“Holy smokes! That was some fall!”

“I guess the floor gave out…?”

“I didn’t think it was that weak. Are you alright, huh?”

“I think so…”

“Oh my god--”

“You are like ice!”

“You’re freezing!”

They must have discovered their body’s drop in temperature.

“I’ll make a… I don’t remember making a fire…”

The Jockey’s gaze shot over to Beetlejuice. He shrugged.

“Had to destroy the book somehow, kid,” he whispered.

“That’s so weird. It’s not hot…”

“I think we should consider ourselves lucky. A fall like that could have been bad. I mean, my whole life flashed before my eyes like it does in the movies. I started asking myself the big questions, like… Why are our bodies still in the basement?”

“What did you say?”

The Jockey grimaced behind the couch.

The couple then began screaming, though Beetlejuice didn’t exactly know why. He couldn’t risk blowing his cover just yet to check.

“Adam! I don’t think we survived that fall!”

“…What? You mean… Oh god.”

“Here we go, kid,” Beetlejuice whispered to the Jockey. “It’s our time to shine.”

“I know… I know. There’s still so much I wanted to do.”

“I know, me too, but-- Hey, hey. We’re still together, right? We’re still in our house, all of our stuff is here! So what if we are…dead… That’s bad, obviously, but hey! Maybe nothing has to change!”

Just then, Beetlejuice and the Jockey popped up from behind the couch.

“Hi.”

The Jockey waved.

Barbara and Adam whirled around to them. They all stared at each other in a beat of silence. Beetlejuice held up his hands.

“Do not be afraid,” he said. His sharp black claws didn’t help the statement very much. “You are dead. I am also dead.” He pointed to the Jockey. “So is she. Maybe we can help each other out. What’s up?”

The Maitlands screamed and scrambled away as he advanced over to them with his hand outstretched. He backpedaled in reaction, pointy ears shooting up. He had not been expecting them to act like that. Good thing he had a child with him.

“Work your magic, kid,” he said to the Jockey.

The Jockey did as she was told, slowly walking over to the Maitlands with her hands up, palms out, claws visible, as if she were approaching a pair of spooked horses. The Maitlands seemed to relax slightly in the midst of the young girl, but then got weirdly defensive looks on their face. They bustled around her, forming a barrier of sorts between her and Beetlejuice. She blinked over their guard.

“Hey!” Beetlejuice yelped. “That’s my jockey!”

“Who the hell are you?!” Adam yelled.

“Help! I am help!” Beetlejuice said. “I’m here to help you both! And so is she! So can I have her back now? Pretty sure we have a whole codependent, separation anxiety thing going on here.”

Barbara peered at the small form of the Jockey, then at Beetlejuice protectively, not budging. “Are you her father?”

“What? No!”

Adam’s eyes somehow got even wider than they already were. “Did you kidnap her?!”

“How did you even come to that conclusion?”

But Adam and Barbara were already wrapped up in the theory, becoming even more fierce and protective around the Jockey. Not that they were very intimidating. They had about the menace of a pair of pomeranians, and even that was being generous.

“You’re not laying another finger on her!” Adam yelled.

“I didn’t kidnap her!” Beetlejuice yelled back, exasperated. Hints of orange-red were beginning to flicker around the crown of his head like the first sparks of a fire. If these two newly-deads weren’t so damn attractive he probably would have clawed their faces off by now and found a new couple to get a living human to say his name.

Barbara turned to the Jockey, crouching slightly to meet her eyes beneath the rim of her helmet. “Sweetie, did this mean man take you from your parents?”

“I didn’t take her from anyone!”

“That sounds like something a kidnapper would say,” Adam said, narrowing his eyes at him in suspicion.

“I’m not a kidnapper!!”

The Jockey quickly held up her hands again, shaking her head. She weaved around the protective forms of Adam and Barbara and darted over to Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into his side possessively. He glared at the Maitlands for a moment before cooling off, easing his stare. The red and orange fire beginning to light through his hair went down.

“I did not kidnap her,” he reiterated. “She is my partner.”

Adam opened his mouth.

“NOT LIKE THAT!” Beetlejuice cut him off before he even got the chance to say something. “Partner in business. My business partner. We work together.”

“You work with…a child?” Barbara asked.

“She’s more useful than half of the adults I know.”

The Jockey stood up a little straighter at that.

Adam looked Beetlejuice up and down. “You said you were here to help us…”

“Right!” Beetlejuice perked up. “Yes! We are!”

“Help us with what?” Barbara asked.

“To learn how to scare!”

“Scare? Scare who?”

“The people who bought your house!”

At that moment, two men dressed in delivery outfits came in and began grabbing everything they saw. Barbara and Adam tried to stop them, but their yelling and waving did little to help. Beetlejuice and the Jockey watched on in amusement.

“They can’t see us!” Adam finally exclaimed.

“Keen observation, Adam,” Beetlejuice said. He took the crop from the Jockey’s holster and began waving it around as if he were giving a presentation. “The living ignore the dead. We are invisible to them. And they’re so wrapped up in their stupid little lives that they usually just ignore the strange and unusual unless you make them, which is why we’re here.”

“This is all so much to take in,” Barbara said, running her fingers through her hair.

“Hey, I get it,” Beetlejuice said. “It’s a lot, but it’s okay! You two are special! You died together! That NEVER happens! Unless it’s a murder-suicide, which makes for a VERY awkward eternity.”

“How did you die?” Adam asked warily.

Beetlejuice laughed. “Oh, that’s cute. I was born-dead. Never got to experience human stupidity.”

“And her?” Adam nodded at the Jockey.

“Horse racing accident,” Beetlejuice said. He thought it had been obvious from her muddy and bloody silks and the hoofprints branding her body. He tapped a claw on her helmet. “She doesn’t talk very much, so don’t expect an answer from her.”

“Wait-- how can you be born dead?” Barbara blinked.

“I’m a demon, Babs, try to keep up.”

Both Barbara and Adam’s eyes widened. Thankfully, they didn’t freak out like they did the last time.

“You’re a WHAT?!” Adam yelped.

“So is she!” Beetlejuice pointed to the Jockey.

“You don’t…look like demons…” Barbara said hesitantly.

“Well, that’s just rude,” Beetlejuice looked down at the Jockey. “I swear, Breathers read the Bible once and think all demons are the same.”

The Jockey nodded with a tiny giggle.

“Demons aren’t exactly what you’re used to,” Beetlejuice said to the confused faces of the Maitlands. “If you weren’t already ghosts, my true form could strike you dead simply by being in your midst. I can kill a Breather with a single stare! But I appear in this form,” he gestured vaguely, “to seem less intimidating. Don’t want to scare off any potential clients.”

“You need to work on that,” Adam said.

“I can go more demonic whenever I want, though,” Beetlejuice went on, ignoring him.

He then snapped his fingers and a pair of black-and-white striped horns burst out from the crown of his head. A long, arrowhead black tail slithered out from his waist as his legs painlessly bent backwards into a more hock-jointed position, large talons pressing out from his ratty shoes. The Maitlands stared in shock. The Jockey looked enraptured, her ears fluttering.

“Like so,” He presented himself to them. “And this isn’t even what I REALLY look like.”

The Jockey clapped energetically. Beetlejuice grinned at her toothily.

“I was born a demon,” Beetlejuice said, looking back at the Maitlands. “Therefore, I was born-dead. She,” he drummed on the Jockey’s helmet, “became a demon. That happens if a ghost becomes too consumed with bitterness, grief, or anger and can’t get over their deaths.”

Barbara and Adam both shot worried looks at the Jockey from the implication behind Beetlejuice’s words. Beetlejuice didn’t blame them for that one. It was uncommon for ghosts to become demons; only if their deaths were REALLY bad. And for a child to turn, no less…

“Anyway,” Beetlejuice continued. “There’s a lot of feuds between the two types of demons because born-demons perceive turned-demons as “falsies” or “dirty half breeds” since they used to be humans and weren’t born with their horns and whatnot.” He tapped one of the Jockey’s little horn nubs for emphasis. “It’s just this whole thing. We get along just fine, though!”

As if to prove it, he and the Jockey smiled innocently, showing their sharp teeth. The Maitlands blinked back at them. Adam glanced over Beetlejuice’s shoulders as the movers continued to haul out furniture.

“So you can really help us get our house back?” he asked.

“You bet your sweet dilf ass I can!” Beetlejuice replied animatedly.

Adam’s cheeks flamed to an adorable shade of pink. Barbara looked slightly startled before barking, “There’s a child here!”

The Jockey waved a dismissive hand and mouthed, “I’ve heard worse.” She then tugged on her filthy silks for emphasis of sorts.

“Please say yes!” Beetlejuice said, trying not to beg. “Nobody else can help you! We’re all you got!”

Adam and Barbara cast one more dismayed look at their departing furniture, then said, “You’re hired.”

Electric green shot through Beetlejuice’s hair like the lightning bolts during an acid storm down in the Netherworld. His tail had to be wagging at the speed of light. He shook the Jockey’s arm eagerly.

“They said yes!!” He yipped, and the Jockey grinned up at him gleefully. He looked at the Maitlands. “You won’t regret it!”

The Maitlands looked slightly worried.

“I sure hope so,” Adam muttered.

--- --- --- --- ---

Jaws dripping with gore, the many-limbed, razor-clawed amalgamation towers over the smaller creature on the street, holding a heart between its teeth. The smaller creature raises its blunted, chipped, and ripped off claws in a sign of weakness, spiked tail tucked between its legs. The abomination devours its heart, then hisses in its ear, “D o n ‘ t e v e r t o u c h h e r a g a i n.”

--- --- --- --- ---

Beetlejuice’s eyes popped open. He stared into the darkness all around him, thick and tall like walls of onyx. Rain was still falling outside. Normal rain.

There was shifting at his side. The Jockey curled up tighter against his side, finding him warm despite the Dead being deathly cold. Finding his presence comforting despite him being awful.

She didn’t need to sleep, and yet she did. Perhaps to retain a shred of normalcy in her unlife. The Maitlands seemed to be the same way from the soft snoring coming from the other corner of the attic. It was too dark to see them, but they were there.

People were there.

His tail was still out, so he draped it over the Jockey’s ankle, testing her reaction to the touch. Even in sleep, she stirred, ears flicking slightly. She slumped over completely into his lap, her head cushioned by one of her arms, pointed tongue caught between her sharp teeth. Beetlejuice snorted. He poked her helmet.

“I don’t know how you sleep in this,” he said.

There was no answer. Even if she weren’t asleep, she wouldn’t give him one. That was okay. He didn’t mind her silence.

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice the broadway musical #beetlejuice au #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice fanfic #beetlejuice fic #beetlelands #demon!jockey #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #adam maitland #barbara maitland #the jockey #blumjuice #one day a horn grew from my head

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naferty · 4 years

Text

Tony wakes up groggy, disoriented and with no recollection of where he is. At first, he thinks his room, but his room isn’t as white or spotless or has a strong sterilizing smell. It hurts his head just smelling it. Or maybe that’s just his head hurting in general from waking up somewhere unknown with no recollection of it.

He finds Rhodey sitting next to him, holding his hand and looking at his phone with his other. When Tony squeezes it Rhodey looks up and is relieved to see him awake.

“Tones,” he moves to sit on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Tony frowns in thought. His head hurts and there’s a bit of throbbing pain in his left leg, but other than that it’s not too bad to warrant Rhodey’s concern.

“My leg hurts,” he admits, voice cracking. Rhodey quickly grabs the cup of water and a straw. Tony inhales the liquid in like a scorched animal in a desert.

“What happened?” he tries again, grateful his voice didn’t nearly send him into a coughing fit.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Rhodey moves strands of hair away from his eyes.

“I don’t - I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, that’s okay. Take your time. No hurry.”

Tony works his brain to remember something. Anything. The last thing he recalls is welcoming a new student to the academy. Hellcat if he remembered the name correctly. Something about hell and a cat is somehow involved. Sounded about right. After that, nothing. He had been with Pepper welcoming her, returned back to his tower and then he woke up in this bed with a headache and Rhodey next to him.

That had been in… August? Or sometime around there.

“We were welcoming new people. Hellcat? Daredevil?”

Rhodey frowns. Not a good look and not a good sign. “That’s what you remember?”

“Yeah, why? Did something happen?” Tony gives the room a quick scan. “Why am I here and why does my leg hurt?”

Rhodey squeezes his hand. “You got hurt, Tones. Got taken down while flying. Your suit took a lot of the damage but your leg still got nicked. Stress fracture. Not too bad considering everything. You’ll be getting a cast for it, though. Hope you’re ready.”

“Only if you carry me.”

“No carrying on my end. Someone else has that covered now.”

“Aww, Honey Bear, I don’t want anyone else carrying me but you. You know that.”

Rhodey shook his head. “Not these days, Tones. The honor of carrying around your ass goes to someone else now. Someone, I might add, that you absolutely love being carried by.”

“What are you talking about?” Tony lifts himself up to sit upright. Hurt like hell but now he’s able to get a better view of Rhodey. He notices his best friend has more of his War Machine suit on than usual. Where before he had been getting used to it. Now he’s wearing it with the same confidence as Tony does his own.

Not only that, but he can also almost swear that Rhodey looks a bit older now. He can’t put a finger on it, but somehow Rhodey looks as if a fair amount of time had gone by. A bit bulkier. Strong posture.

Where the hell as his Platypus been training recently for him to gain those muscles so fast?

“Well, uh,” Rhodey scratches his head. A nervous habit. A very telling tell. “There’s no easy way to say this.”

“Say what?” Oh shit, did something really bad happen besides him breaking his leg and not remember? Did whoever he had been fighting with do something to him? Run off with his spleen or kidney? Stolen his fridge of cheese? Hacked into his systems and stolen everything?

“Tones, what year is it?”

Tony blinked. Oh… crap. Usually, people only ask that question when memory loss is involved. Did his head get injured in the fall? How many years has he lost? It can’t be too many since Rhodey still looks more or less the same and it seems like they’re still in the Academy.

“It’s twenty-sixteen,” he says, fear slowly growing as his mind ran through scenarios after scenarios of what he could be missing from memory.

“Crap,” Rhodey rubs his forehead. Not a good sign. Never a good sign. “It’s okay, it’s okay, not too bad. Memory loss happens. Nothing we can’t handle together.”

“Honey Bear, what year is it?” His heart rate starts going faster. He’s terrified of the possibility of so much time going by and not remembering any of it.

“Tones, calm down. It’s not too bad. It’s twenty-nineteen. Only three years. We can handle this.”

“Three?” Tony repeats. Sure three doesn’t sound like a large number but it’s years! So much could happen in one year let alone three.

Rhodey hugs him. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll handle this together. I mean it. Not much has changed. We’re still in the Academy. It just has more students than before. You’ll run into a lot of new faces but it’ll be okay. You’ve made a lot of improvements on your armor and mine. You’ll get used to it again. I’ll help every step of the way.”

Tony takes deep breaths. It’s all easy to say, but it’s still a lot of time taken away. People change. Is he still friends with Pepper? What about Jan? Loki? Do people who used to tolerate him hate him now? Is he still helping around in the Academy or has Nick kicked him out of board meetings?

As if knowing exactly what he’s thinking, Rhodey tells him, “Pepper was here earlier, but she got called away. I’m sure she’ll be back soon. Jan couldn’t skip another class. It’s Thursday. She’s already skipped all day yesterday. Couldn’t do another.”

Rhodey pulls away. “You know Loki wouldn’t be caught dead caring for someone where everyone can see. He’s getting updates from Jan, but he does occasionally skulk around here.”

“Oh,” that answers some. What about the others? “Anything big happened?”

“A bit,” Rhodey admits. “Besides the Academy’s weekly attacks, some big events have happened. Nothing that’s changed your life too much, though.”

Tony exhales. Doesn’t sound too bad.

“Jarvis has a body now.”

He blinks. “...what?”

“Jarvis has a body now,” Rhodey repeats slower. Hands out and at the ready to catch him should he fall at the news. “Walking, talking body with working arms and everything. It’s really cool. You’re really proud of it.”

“He… he has a body?!” That’s… that’s incredible! Jarvis has always behaved like a person, even with his digital coding, and Tony has always considered him as an individual all his own. Sassy, sarcastic, but still loyal and humble. Jarvis getting a body? That’s got to be the greatest thing that’s happened to him, and Tony can’t even remember it!

It absolute sucks.

“Where is he? The body, I mean.” Jarvis is always with him, but physically? Where is that?

“In the tower preparing everything for you. Make it cast friendly,” Rhodey gives his left leg a pointed stare.

“Okay, is that everything?”

His eyes go back to Tony. For a millisecond Tony can see them land somewhere on his shoulder before they go to his face. It’s enough for Tony to shakily raise his left hand to touch it. His shirt is thin enough to feel everything underneath. Nothing out of the ordinary on his shoulder but when he runs it over his neck he stops. The skin under his fingers isn’t as smooth as his shoulders. Marks are present. Barely noticeable really. Faded but still there. Located where one would place a bite to mark a mate.

Rhodey knows the moment he realizes what it means. He gives rapid nods in confirmation. “Yeah, it’s exactly what you think.”

“I got mated?” Tony nearly screams in hysterics because - holy shit!

“Not fully mated,” Rhodey is quick to correct. “You haven’t signed marriage licenses or had any kind of wedding. You marked each other to keep people off you. You’ll get officially hitched once you’re both ready. At least that’s what you’ve told me.”

“Off me?” That’s a very odd reason for it. Who would even be on him anyway? Tony has no suitors, no interests in him. Did he somehow offend someone and they’re sicking people on him? Is the mark meant to do damage control for it? “Did I screw up and pissed off someone?”

Rhodey’s mouth falls open. “What - no! What? - how did you come to - no, of course not! Shit, Tones, how can you come to the worst conclusions?”

“Doesn’t the worst usually happen?” He doesn’t mean to sound pitiful. It just sort of happens.

Story of his life.

“Not recently, no.” Rhodey puts a hand on his shoulder. “Yes, you get the short end of the stick sometimes - actually, you get it a hell of a lot more times than I’d like, but it’s not every day and certainly not for this. This mark,” he points to it, “you have this because you and your mate just happen to have the hots for each other.”

“Just the hots? That’s not encouraging,” Tony looks down. “So it’s a temporary thing.” Once this quick hot honeymoon phase is over they’ll separate no doubt.

“You both call it love but I’m not about to feed that disgusting fire you have going. You both need to cool it with the affection. It’s traumatizing some of us.”

“Who am I even mated to?” The million-dollar question. Who ended up getting stuck with him? Who did he manage to convince to give him a try? From what he remembers, no one he knows has really caught his eye. In and outside of the Academy. No one, except for a certain Captain that he may or may not have had a crush on since his childhood. Odds are pretty low, the bottom of the barrel low, that Steve is his mysterious mate.

Oh, but how strong he could hope.

When Rhodey doesn’t answer right away Tony asks again. “Who’s - who’s my mate, Platypus? A new face? Someone outside the Academy? Who’s the unlucky person?”

“I don’t think he considers himself unlucky mating you, and don’t talk about my best friend like that.” Rhodey gives him a playful hit. “He’s a good guy. Don’t disrespect.”

“I love you, too.”

“Careful he doesn’t hear you say that. He’s a possessive asshole.”

“So a guy,” that doesn’t narrow down the list much but it is surprising. Tony really thought he’d get a girlfriend, but turns out he went and got a boyfriend instead.

Howard would be so proud of him for proving that right. ‘Why have a broad when you’ll probably be the broad?’

He didn’t know how to feel if he ended up mating to a male alpha. With the posturing and the aura of dominance he couldn’t create just waiting to be smacked across his face everyday, taunting him. Howard did always say he was a sorry excuse of an alpha. Better suited to be another alpha’s... well, you know.

At least he and this guy love each other, right?

“Who’s this guy?”

“Well, it’s -”

“I’m here! I’m here! Tony?” A voice interrupts. From outside the door, in came the one and only Steve Rogers. He’s breathing heavy and looks like he ran a marathon getting here but he’s smiling. Large and shining. “You’re awake.”

“Hi, Steve,” Tony says. It’s all he can think of saying. He honestly didn’t expect Steve to be here. They’re not exactly close from what he remembers.

Steve’s about to say more but Rhodey quickly stops him, dragging him back out the room and the two proceed to have a very hushed conversation. So hushed that Tony can’t guess what they’re talking about, but he does hear a very clear but very hurt, “oh” at the end. Then the two don’t realize their voices have gotten louder.

“Yeah.”

“So he doesn’t remember.”

“No. Sorry, Steve.”

“Now what?”

“We help him. Any way we can.”

“Would I be of any help, though? I’ll just cause problems.”

“Will you be able to keep away?”

“...no, I won’t.”

“He may not remember, but he still cares for you. Always has. Just gotta help him fall in love with you all over again.”

Hold on. One. Second.

Fall in love?

All over again?

Him?

With Steve??

When?

How?

Tony stops breathing.

The two return. Their hushed conversation over. Tony must be bug-eyed as he stares at them.

Steve stops in front of his bed. “Hey, Tony. I -”

“I mated you?!”

His shouting surprises the two. “Oh, you heard that?” Steve says.

Tony is speechless. It’s not a denial. Meaning, it could be very much true. He’s mated to Steve?

“Yeah, I’m you’re mate. Two years now. Could’ve been near three but you’re very stubborn,” the famous omega says so freely. As if being mated to Tony isn’t the worst thing in the world for him. “Rhodey told me you don’t remember anything in the last three years. So you don’t remember our time together?”

No, I - no.”

“Okay,” Steve looks down. Hurt. “I understand if you want me away while you heal -”

“No,” Tony says rather quickly. “I mean - help me understand. How did we end up together? How did I win you? No - shit, that came out wrong. You’re not a prize. You’re a hero and an icon. I just don’t get how I got this lucky.”

Steve has a smile. It’s small, but it’s there. “I don’t know about you being lucky. I think I’m the luckier one here. If you have to know, it took a lot of work on my part. It also took a lot of help from your friends. You’re really determined to ignore the signs right in front of you, Love.”

Tony makes a choking noise. Steve just called him Love. Steve Rogers just called him love! He couldn’t believe it. This is all a dream. It has to be. He’s never this lucky.

“Tony?” Steve frowns and moves around the table. Closer to him. He reaches a hand out. Rubs a thumb under his eye. “Honey, you’re crying.”

Is he? Steve pulls his thumb away. Glistening from a tear. Oh, looks like he is.

“I’m just overwhelmed,” he inhales, “and in pain.”

“Your leg?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go get the nurse.” Steve turns to do just that but Tony grabs his arm before he can take the first step.

“Wait. Stay. Please?”

“I’ll get her,” Rhodey offers and walks out the room, leaving them alone.

Steve sits on the bed. He grabs hold of his hand. “Okay, I’ll stay. I won’t go anywhere.”

“Thank you.” With his shirt, Tony wipes away the tears. “Could you - could you tell me how it happened? How did we -?”

“Get together?” The omega pipes in.

“Yeah. I just don’t believe it. Feels like a dream.”

“You better believe it, Mister. This is no dream and I worked really hard to get you. I’m not letting go.”

Tony laughs. It’s so surreal to hear Steve say that. For him of all people!

“Okay, while we wait for Jim let me tell you about the first time I tried asking you out. A lot of people got upset about it and trust me, it wasn’t because I was trying to get off the market.”

#text post #long text post #naferty writes #stony #stevetony #tony & rhodey #he's my alpha au #a/b/o dynamics #alpha tony stark #omega steve rogers #another attempt at waking up and forgetting who your mate is #but a happier outcome!#avac #avac stony

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kiarcheo · 3 years

Text

Cousin Trap

Can read on Ao3 here

Anne Boleyn and Catalina Aragon have a lot of things in common. Among those, they are both smart, accomplished women, they both dated the same man, Henry Tudor, and they absolutely loathe each other. These are all things they are both aware of. But there is another matter that connects them and that they don’t know anything about: they both love to death their younger cousins....and said cousins are dating.

For months Katherine Howard and Catherine Parr had been unaware of the fact themselves.

How was Cathy supposed to even start to suspect that the Annie her girlfriend always talked about with nothing but pure love was ‘that Boleyn girl’ - and yes, she hears it in her mind in the same tone Catalina usually spits it out?

How was Kat supposed to connect Cathy’s Lina, the cousin who used to teach her Spanish swearwords when she was a kid and is now almost a maternal figure to her, with ‘Catherine, that massive *insert chosen insult of the day*’ Anne still complains about, even if it has been years since they have last seen each other?

‘And you know, it’s funny. Because her surname is literally Aragon and she is from there.’

Kat abruptly stops laughing along with Cathy. ‘Aragon? Your...Lina is Catherine Aragon?’

‘Catalina.’ Cathy corrects her. ‘It annoys her when people use the English version. That’s not her name.’ She stops. She heard it so many times that she could repeat Lina’s spiel word by word, but that’s probably not the point. ‘But yes? Why?’

‘Annie. My cousin,’ Cathy nods to show she is following. Of course she knows who Annie is. She met her. Scarily smart and scarily funny, once you get over her being scarily protective of Kat. Not that Cathy faults her for it. ‘Anne Boleyn.’

‘What?’

‘My cousin is Anne Boleyn.’ Kat repeats, much to Cathy’s horror, who had been hoping she had misunderstood.

---

‘So, let me see if I got it right.’ Anna looks at her two friends. ‘Your cousins, the ones who are basically your big sisters slash mother figures and would totally kill for you, hate each other.’

Cathy and Kat nod.

‘And they don’t know you are dating? Even if you have been together for…what is it? Four years?’

‘Yes.’

‘How is that even possible?’ That’s the part Anna is most confused about.

‘Well, they never met.’

‘Yes, but they met you!’ Anna gestures to them. She remembers Kat stressing out about meeting Cathy’s Lina for the first time, worrying that she would not make a good impression on someone who was so important for her girlfriend. And she also remembers Cathy telling her about her meeting with Anne and the shovel talk she got. Hell, Anna has met Anne herself!

‘Yes. And they know about Annie and Lina.’

‘Not about that Boleyn girl and Catherine Aragon.’ Cathy picks up Kat's explanation.

‘What about photos?’ Just from her armchair Anna can see at least four pictures on the shelves with Anne and Kat, Cathy and Catalina, and even one of both her friends with Anne.

‘We hide them.’ That had not been a problem until they had moved in together, but once they took that step and they had their first visit...that’s what they did.

‘And you don’t plan to tell them?’

‘Nope.’

‘How is this even going to work? Won't they meet at a certain point?’

‘We alternate for the holidays and stuff. One time at Lina’s, one at Anne’s. Or with them, anyway. No reason for them to meet.’

‘So what? You’re going to wait until your wedding day and have them see each other there?’

‘We discussed it and we feel no need to get married, so...’

Anna shakes her head. Unbelievable.

---

‘You!’ A twin exclamation. Had their hands not been loaded with bags, they would have totally pointed the finger at each other.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘What are you doing here?

‘I asked first.’

If Anne wants to do this in the middle of the street, Catalina will not back down. ‘Visiting family, not that you’d know anything about that.’

Anne ignores the low blow. Her fraught relationship with her family has always been a sore spot, and Catalina knows it very well.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Catalina stops her from ringing the bell, covering it with her hand.

‘Old age getting to you?’ Anne hits back, Catalina’s age – specifically her being older than Henry and consequently also than Anne – being one of the excuses he had used to dump her for Anne. ‘What do you think?’ before adding, ‘Hoping to be saved from having to breath the same air as you for much longer.’

‘You got the wrong house.’

‘And how do you know that?’

‘This is where I’m going.’

‘Impossible. This is where I am going.’

’My cousin lives here.’

‘My cousin lives here.’

They glare at each other.

‘Let’s settle it.’ Anne rings the doorbell.

‘Eager to be proven wrong, aren’t you?’ Catalina scoffs. ‘Let's hear it. What would your cousin’s name be?’

‘What’s yours?’

They stare at each other silently as if challenging the other to speak first. Tension builds as the standoff continues.

‘Catherine.’

‘Katherine.’

They say at the same time, then stiffen. Is it all a big joke for the other? Is she taking the mick? They look ready to attack when they have a light-bulb moment. Realisation dawns.

‘No!’

‘Sorry, it took me so long, I’m not feeling my best-’ the door opens fully, ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Oh querida,’ Catalina breaths out. Cathy looks...rough. ‘Let me in, don’t stand there in the cold.’ She gently pushes her way in, ignoring how Anne follows her and focusing on Cathy. ‘Have you been to the doctor? Have you been eating? Let me whip up something for you.’ She doesn’t really wait for a reply, moving towards the living room, Cathy trailing behind her wordlessly, shocked and exhausted. ‘How is Kat?’

Right then a scratchy voice calls out. ‘Cathy?’

That seems to jolt Anne out of whatever trance she was in. In three quick steps she is by Catalina’s side and trying to enter the room first.

‘Who was at the door?’ The question is barely finished when the coughing starts, the cocoon on the couch from where the voice came from convulsing. Then a pale face with flushed cheeks from the effort emerges.

‘Katie!’ Anne is immediately by her side.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘That seems to be the question of the hour.’ Catalina mutters while watching, almost captivated, Anne taking Kat’s face in her hands, tilting it up, and resting her cheek on her forehead. ‘Still got a fever. Have you been throwing up? Have you taken anything? Do you want me to run to the pharmacy? Cathy, you need anything?’

‘Annie.’ Kat blinks up at her. ‘Slow down.’

‘Right. Sorry.’ Anne sits back on her haunches.

Cathy joins Kat on the couch, Kat wordlessly lifting the blanket and wrapping Cathy in.

‘That would look adorable if you both didn’t look so terrible.’

‘I haven’t looked at a mirror in forever, but if I look half as bad as I feel...I have no doubts.’ Kat comments.

‘Why are you here?’ Cathy is too tired and sick to care about politeness. Besides, that’s the good thing about close family, isn’t it? No need to sugar-coat and maintain a polite façade when you feel like crap.

‘You call, telling me that you’re both violently sick and you expect what? For me to just stay home knowing there is no one to help you here because all your friends left for the break and you’re in no state to help each other?’

‘As much as I hate to agree with her,’ Anne reaches up to brush some hair away from Kat’s clammy face. ‘You know I’d drop anything if you needed me. And in this case, I already had the days off anyway...’

‘You’re going to get sick too.’

Anne smiles at her cousin’s thoughtfulness. ‘That’s a risk I’m willing to run.’

Catalina clearly agrees, as she puts on the kettle and puts together some light sandwiches after Cathy mentions it’s time for them to take their medicines.

As they are all sitting down having tea, Anne broaches the subject. ‘When were you thinking of telling me about...her?’ She sends a dirty look towards Catalina, who doesn’t hesitate to return it.

Still, they don’t miss the look Cathy and Kat exchange. And the silence is telling enough.

‘So, what? What was the plan? Wait until your wedding day for me to see her showing up at the reception?’

‘I will totally walk Kat down the aisle or whatever they decide to do.’

‘Marriage is not really in the plans, so...not really?’ Cathy says at the same time.

Anne turns to her, hard look in her eyes. ‘Why not? Kat not good enough for you?’

‘Because we talked about it and marriage is not a thing we see in our future.’ Kat stops her before she can get riled up on her behalf…absolutely unnecessarily.

Anne gives a begrudging nod. Overprotectiveness aside, it's not completely surprising considering their family’s history. Still, they will be revisiting the topic, once Kat is better.

‘Don’t get me wrong,’ Cathy hesitantly starts after they had been sitting for a while, ‘I’m not kicking you out or anything. You can stay as long as you want. Both of you. But before we get too dozy from the medicine...where are you staying?’ They have learned the hard way that what they are taking hit them both quite strongly. They found stuff in weird places they didn’t remember having put them in. Which is way better that waking up on the bathroom floor, presumably after one of them threw up but without remembering who was the one who got sick, bodies hurting even more from sleeping in a weird position on a cold, hard floor.

‘Here?’ Anne and Catalina look at each other as they say the same thing at the same time. They narrow their eyes in challenge.

‘You know we’re always happy to have you here,’ both had stayed over before, ‘but do you remember that there is just one guest room, right?’

‘She can sleep on the couch.’ Anne beats Catalina to the punch.

‘You can sleep on the couch!’ Catalina rebuts.

‘Why? Your old back can’t take it?’ Anne snipes. ‘If you admit so, I might be generous enough to leave you the bed.’

Kat’s coughing fit, albeit involuntarily, comes at the perfect moment.

‘Actually,’ Cathy takes advantage of the interruption as she rubs Kat's back, ‘you can’t use the couch, I’m afraid.’ She grimaces, whether it is because of what she is saying or because her girlfriend is currently trying to hack up a lung not clear. ‘If one of us is up at night, to avoid waking the other, we move out here. But if one of you is sleeping here...’

‘Of course.’ ‘You don’t have to apologise.’ Both women reassure her.

‘So either one of you stays and the other stays at a hotel-’

‘Her.’

‘Not me.’

They glare at each other.

‘Or you can share the room. It’s a queen size bed, as you know.’

---

‘Cathy?’

They had retired to their room, medicine having its predicted effect, leaving the older women to settle down in the guest room. And probably take over the house and everything else, if their bickering about groceries and cleaning is any indication.

‘We don’t really use the couch.’ Kat points out. They are out cold at night, the power of drugs. So far they have only woke up for coughing fits or to throw up… which tends to wake the other, and they would not have it any other way. And at that point they prefer to stay together, cuddling in bed and waiting for sleep to come...they are both sick anyway, not like it can get any worse.

‘I know.’

‘Then why?’ Kat looks adorably confused in her drowsiness.

‘So they’ll be forced to get along.’

‘Or kill each other.’

‘But that would make us sad, and they know it, so they won’t.’

Kat nods. That sounds reasonable. Then she squints at Cathy. ‘Are you...cousin trapping them? You know, like The Parent Trap movie but with cousin because they are our cousins?’

Cathy smiles dopily at the over explanation. Kat tends to ramble when she is tired.

‘Or trope-ing them.’

‘What?’

‘You know, there was only one bed. Or,’ Kat’s scrunched up face lets her know she is not following her, so Cathy continues, ‘and they were roommates.’

The response is automatic, no need to even engage the brain. ‘Oh my God! They were roommates!’

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theexiledguitarist · 3 years

Text

How Christians can be easily fooled by conspiracy theories

INTRODUCTION

“The Coronavirus is not just making people sick, it’s also making people stupid”

That was the opening line from the Malaysian comedian Ronny Chieng, starting his episode about the Coronavirus pandemic and its effects on our everyday life.

And even if the sentence sounds harsh and judgemental, I have unfortunately to say, that he is right.

With the threat of the pandemics and the quarantine measures limiting our movements, most people live at home and a in a constant psychosis, sharing all possible conspiracy theories on the social media.

And unfortunately, Christians are not immune to conspiracy theories, actually gullibility is very much present in some denominations.

CHRISTIANITY AND GULLIBILITY

But did I say that we Christian are easily gullible? Off course no, but I need to say that most of them are, especially in these days.

This happens because most of them, especially Fundamentalists evangelicals, read the Bible in a sort of “extreme way”, without understanding and throwing away all the things they learned.

And this goes back to my last year blog where I wrote about the Abecedarians and the Chick Tracts and their common thread of blind faith.

One big example is the misuse of the Book Of Revelation in two different wrong ways:

1. CORONAVIRUS: PUNISHMENT FROM GOD ?

This is the first mistake. In some denominations ( or better to say, SECTS ), there’s this idea that the pandemic was sent by God as a punishment against abortion, homosexuality and so on, this also based about the stories on the old testament.

Well I am not a theology expert, but according also to the evangelist Tom Loud if the coronavirus was from God, He surely would be a vengeful bombardier without mercy, a completely different version of Him.

Then comes also three big questions:

If the coronavirus was from God so what about ��Black Plague, Spanish Fever, SARS or Ebola?

If it’s a punishment against abortion, homosexuality and so on, why didn’t He spare also conservative nations like f.e. Poland, Hungary, Brazil or the “Nation Under God” USA?

What about all the closed churches for the quarantine ? Is it God’s will too?

So before saying that Corona is God’s punishment, try to answer these questions.

2.CORONAVIRUS: END TIMES SIGN

This is also the second mistake, similar to the first but also more dangerous.

As I wrote two years ago in my post about the psycho cults there’s a sort of infuriating emphasis on the end times prophecies, and this emphasis sometimes lead to deviated and distorted reality thoughts , just like conspiracy theories ( like NWO, Mark of the Beast and so on.. ) or, in the worst of the cases, delusions of persecution like this.

The pandemic has highlighted a lot these “end times” stuff, and a lot of opportunists and deranged gurus have taken advantage of their feeble-minded followers. Same situation that happened in the ’80s and ’90s with the Satanic Panic, where con-artist like Bob Larson or Rebecca Brown were hailed as heroes.

USA: BETWEEN THREAT AND QUACKERY

But let’s go to USA, the “Nation Under God”, but especially under president Trump, who not only cut the funds to the WHO, but is going also to fire Anthony Fauci, the virologist who’s making a great job in the fight against the CoViD.

And this is just the peak of Trump’s series of mistakes against the virus, while USA is right now the country with the highest number of contagions and deaths by coronavirus.

And it’s really sad to see how still many evangelicals still say that he’s always right. But after all evangelical christianity in USA has become a circus, where there are “prophets and clowns”

Exactly, PROPHETS AND CLOWNS, like our song says. And some clear examples are:

Shawn Bolz, a self-proclaimed prophets who said in a gathering that “God showed him the end of the virus”, and it was the beginning of March, now we are on 16th of April and the situation is going from bad to worse.

Kenneth Copeland, the prosperity preacher, who tried to stop the virus with a prayer that looked more like a charade.

Rodney Howard-Browne, the head of River Church and well known conspiracy theorist, who got a warrant for violating the quarantine measures. It’s such funny how his followers blabber about “persecution” when he almost put a lot of people at risk hosting a gathering, if we think what happened in France last month.

Jim Bakker, the controversial televangelist who claims silver solution as remedy against coronavirus

QAnon, the conspiracy psycho-sect, who promoted MMS, the pseudo-medicine containing bleach

Last but not least, this guy in sackcloth, wandering and preaching around the empty quarantined American metropolises

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYgc_dIuhYo&ab_channel=TorchofChristMinistries

FINLAND: THE PETRI PAAVOLA CASE

Unfortunately also Finland is not immune neither from coronavirus, nor from conspiracy theorist.

And unfortunately, as I wrote before, Christians are not immune. The most obvious example is Petri Paavola, the anti-catholic liar upon whom I wrote almost two years ago.

At the end of March mister Paavola hold a service for few people because of the quarantine measures, and all the service was a complete concentration of persecution complexes and conspiracy craps.

He said, during his “service”, that coronavirus was created by Bill Gates to create new mass vaccination’s program, I really don’t know if laughing or vomiting in half of such idiocy, buy anyway here’s the parody.

Is Paavola completely deranged or is he just a liar ? Well it could be both of them, but what it’s worse is that he claims to have received a “revelation from God” about all that quackery. And obviously gullible followers believe him easily, like for example the author of this comment

For the non-Finnish speakers the translation is:

“thanks for the clear facts about what the elites do behind us. 5G and Coronavirus wortk together. Don’t take neither vaccine nor 5G”

Yes, because in the middle of this conspiracy psychosis, the 5G is nowadays one of the most popular theme and someone, like the crackhead who commented, believes even that 5G causes coronavirus.

It could sound funny but unfortunately is not, as in England, just weeks ago, some cell towers were set on fire because of this psychosis.

A LIGHT INTO THE DARKNESS

Thank God that into this marasma of darkness there’s always the light.

One example is this great article from ChristianityToday, written by Ed Stetzer, and I absolutely like to quote the first part of this article.

A major crisis provides a fertile field for producing conspiracy theories, and the current global pandemic has created a bumper crop of them.

One of the sad things that I’ve learned over time is how Christians are disproportionately fooled by conspiracy theories. I’ve also said before that when Christians spread lies, they need to repent of those lies. Sharing fake news makes us look foolish and harms our witness.

We saw this in the last election when some of the troll factories focused on conservative, evangelical Christians. This is disappointing. Now we are seeing it again. So how do we respond?

First, we need to speak up and speak out to others— particularly those fooled yet again— and lovingly say, “You need to go to trusted sources.” Your social media news feed is not a trusted source.

But you can find them if you are willing to look. That’s why we created coronavirusandthechurch.com, to provide credible information for churches. But, there are plenty of credible news sources— generally from outlets that do not have a track record of conspiracy peddling.

Second, God has not called us to be easily fooled. Gullibility is not a Christian virtue, and we ought not to act like that. Believing and sharing Covid-19 conspiracies does not honor the Lord.

Yet now, it appears we are dealing with a new flood of conspiracy theories. Take a look at the list on Wikipedia, or just search for yourself using a few keywords.

No one is born “hyper-intelligent” but someone needs to speak out.

N.B: That was written almost one year ago in my blog, now I repost it as the situation seems not to change

Here the link

https://soundsfromthemarshes.altervista.org/christianity-and-conspiracy-theories-during-the-pandemic/?doing_wp_cron=1612946542.4376449584960937500000

#conspiracy theories #Christianity #covid #covid19 #ignorance #prosperity theology #psychosis #paranoia #false prophets #ed stetzer #christianitytoday #shawn bolz #qanon #kenneth copeland

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carynsilver · 4 years

Text

Favorite Fics: Darcy Edition

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Things started going on that hurt my soul, and I just felt like, who cares about some fic recs when people are getting hurt? But… I don’t know. I still find solace and comfort in reading stories, even when things are hard—especially when things are hard. So, I finally felt like maybe it was time for another. If the fic writers out there are giving me escape, warm fuzzies, and enjoyment during these weird times, then they deserve some love directed back at them.

So far, I’ve listed my top 10 favorite Stucky, Drarry, and Stony fics. I love them all, but… that is a lot of dudes. I decided it was time for a little girl power in my fanfic recs. One of my favorite BAMF female characters is Darcy Lewis—one of the best and most under-rated, under-explored characters in the MCU.

I love Darcy as the every-girl who has the moxie and chutzpa to hold her own in a life full of superheroes. The girl tased the God of Thunder because he was freaking her out, for goodness sake! I love her being BFFs with Jane, being Thor’s lightening sister, and creating a found family. I love her living in the tower and caring for all the superheroes and science geniuses like they won’t care for themselves. There’s enough leeway in her backstory for fun twists, too, like being Jewish, or—one of my absolute faves—secretly being the daughter of Tony Stark.

There are a ton of good Darcy fics out there, but these are my top 10. Thank you, writers, for sharing these amazing stories with us!

Casa de Island Avengers by @inkbert

I clicked on this story because of WinterShock (Darcy/Bucky), which is a favorite ship of mine (I feel my love of Bucky has been previously discussed at length, lol), but it has become one of my favorite fics of all time. Not even just in the MCU—if I were listed my top five fanfics ever read, this one is on the list.

The concept is simple—post-Ultron, the Avengers started falling apart as a team, so Steve spearheads the effort to get them all on a two-week vacation to Tony’s private island in a last-ditch bonding effort. Every character (except Thor, but he does get some good screen time) has his or her own point of view for at least a chapter or two. Sometimes, this leads to characters sounding the same, but @inkbert really grounds each character in their own backstory and makes their inner monologues sound unique. Then, so many wacky hijinks ensue—camping, drinking, movie nights, girl bonding, sailing, pranks, and the most competitive game nights and challenges you’ve ever seen.

The ships included are Darcy/Bucky, Steve/Natasha, Pepper/Tony, and Clint/Wanda, but this story isn’t only about the ships. It’s about all these crazy characters bonding—found family at its finest. This is probably my favorite Darcy/Jane BFFs story ever, and the Bruce/Tony science bro connection is classic. The story is fully seated in cannon (up through Ultron and moving to the ccmpound), except no Clint/secret family and Pietro lives. Read it. Read it now! And if you enjoy it, there are several one-shots that follow, including a Wanda-centric one that shouldn’t be missed.

Best Supporting Soulmate by Valeris

I love a good soulmate fic, and this is an excellent one. The first thing your soulmate says to you is written on your skin, and there are both romantic and platonic soulmates. Darcy has Jane as a platonic soulmate, but it’s her other soulmate who made her life crazy before she even met them. What are you supposed to do when your soulmate’s first words to you are to let them die?

The two primary ships in this fic are Wintershock and Stony, which work well together, but the story delves into a lot more relationships. I don’t love the whole amnesia trope in a Stucky fic because losing all that history and friendship hurts so much, but in a WinterShock fic, I have a real soft spot for Darcy being able to help post-HYDRA Bucky learn how to person again, and she does that in spades in this one. She also cultivates friendships with just about everyone in Avengers Tower and beyond. Darcy/Johnny Storm BFFs are amazing, and the deep friendship Darcy develops with Tony in this story gives me all the feels. This is a great version of BAMF Darcy who can see what the tortured characters need and is able to help them get there. And there is some interesting conflict with the Fantastic Four, as well.

This was one of the first, if not the first, WinterShock stories I ever read. I had been trying TaserHawk, but it wasn’t really my cuppa, and then somehow found this one and got hooked.

Road Trip of Champions by @leftennant

Natasha and Steve are going on a road trip. Steve wants Bucky to come with, but they feel like they need a fourth to make things even. Natasha bribes Darcy into coming with, and over the course of the trip, we get a lovely WinterShock romance. The road trip concept is fun, and Darcy and Bucky have a light enemies to friends to lovers vibe going on. Bucky is recovering, Darcy isn’t going to take anyone’s crap, and Natasha and Steve really just want a little private time along the way. And the bit at the end of the main story when they play paintball—classic and a scene that has stuck in my mind long after reading many other fics. The protective vibe Bucky has for Darcy after all this and how it even affects paintball is adorable. There are other one-shots in this ’verse as well that should not be missed. You might never think of lemons the same again.

Daybreak by @anogete

Anogete has a really good touch with snarky, caretaker Darcy. I love all her WinterShock stories, but this is the one that’s stuck with me the most. The concept of Darcy trying to help dismantle Bucky’s trigger words by creating new memories for each one was so compelling. The therapy aspect did give me pause (a personal thing; it is dealt with as respectfully as possible in the story), but it all works out in the end. The fact that I loved it so much despite a mild personal ping with the concept speaks to how well it’s written, honestly. :-) And, if this one isn’t to your taste, Anogete has plenty of great WinterShock to read, so definitely try one of them instead!

The Run ’Verse by themonkeycabal

Though it eventually becomes a WinterShock story, my favorite thing about this universe is the Tony-Stark-is-Darcy’s-father trope. This is probably my absolute favorite version of that relationship. There is also time travel, and BAMF Peggy Carter. And even though I don’t love the Darcy-becomes-a-Shield-agent thing as much as Darcy the Scientist Wrangler, this story has a great, cannon-compliant reason for why Tony, Clint, etc., weren’t able to come help Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Maria in CA:tWS. There are a ton of stories in this ’verse, and I enjoyed every single one. My favorite, though, is the one where Darcy and Tony go visit Howard’s forgotten secret bunker and have three generation’s-worth of overdue conversations.

A Morbid Taste for Ice by sitehound

This is probably my favorite TaserTricks story, though I haven’t read nearly as much Darcy/Loki as I have other Darcy ships. I think it’s because writing Loki in character and making it believable to me that Darcy would fall in love with him, especially post-Avengers 1, is a fine line. If the fic apologizes too much for Loki’s wrongdoing without enough repentance/reformation, I don’t buy that she would legit be able to fall for him, but, go too far on the redemption and Loki gets OOC.

This story hits all those beats pretty perfectly and combines them with the whole Darcy/Jane/Thor (and now Loki) found family thing, Thor/Loki brother angst, Jane/Darcy BFFs, and a really compelling murder mystery to boot. There is also an interesting subplot with Loki being what basically amounts to a magical mechanic that I found really interesting amidst the snark, romance, and mystery solving. I’m sad this writer only has the one story up because it is so good!

Bygone by @inkbert

This story is Shieldshock (Steve/Darcy), not WinterShock, so even though I do try to only choose one fic per author (mostly), I’m totally fine having two by @inkbert on this list. Besides, this fic is amazing, and it’s not like there are anyone’s rules to follow on these fic rec lists but my own, lol! This is hands down my favorite ShieldShock story ever.

Jane’s experiment goes awry and sends Darcy into the past—specifically after Bucky left for basic but before he shipped out and Steve got tapped for Project Rebirth. Darcy ends up living with Rebecca and Mrs. Barnes, and she falls head over heels in love with tiny Steve, so much so that they get married despite not knowing what the future holds for her. Then, the night before Steve is going to report to basic, Darcy blips out again, and when she blips back in, Steve is dead. The rest of the story has Darcy blipping her way through time, making friends with Howard, Peggy, and the Howling Commandos. Ultimately, though, it’s her brother/sister relationship with Tony that is the most poignant, especially by the time they catch up to the present again. And Darcy is a complete BAMF the whole time—going on missions, learning to fly anything with wings, doing anything and everything to keep her found family together. This story also gave me a plan for what I would do if I were ever shot back into a timeline like this where I couldn’t sew or cook or make a living—become a typist… genius, Darce!

Their Hearts Said by @anogete

Another Anogete story because I just can’t resist. All her stories are really good, be they WinterShock, ShieldShock, or even her really good Loki/OC fic. I would definitely suggest giving all of them a try.

This ShieldShock story is my favorite post-Infinity War tale. It picks up a few weeks after the snap, with everyone grieving and trying to figure out what to do next. Steve is barely holding it together while the remaining Avengers try to figure out what they can do. After Jane and her family disappear, Darcy heads to Avengers Tower, hoping against hope that maybe Thor knows what’s going on. Darcy and Steve start sleeping together as more of an escape from the awfulness around them than anything else, but as the team works on a plan to save the day and bring everyone back, they develop real feelings for each other. There is also time travel and I really loved the minimalist way she wrote how the day was saved in this. It balanced well with the character stuff. This story is much preferable to End Game—too bad cannon didn’t go like this!

Good Madness by Em_Jaye

Normally, I prefer my Darcy embedded within the MCU cannon. I adore that every girl keeping up with superheroes thing. But, I do enjoy a good AU on occasion, and this is one of my faves. It’s ShieldShock and kid!fic. Darcy runs a bakery that was left to her by her mother (real You’ve Got Mail tones there, but no creepy identity porn), and Steve comes in for treats on occasion. One day, he brings his daughter, and the rest is history. I love the Steve/Darcy romance in this one, and Steve’s daughter is a sweet character. I love the Full House thing Steve has going on co-raising his daughter with Bucky and Sam. And there is a nice Bucky/Natasha subplot and some really good Tony, which I would say more about except that I don’t want to spoil the surprise. My favorite story in the series is the five rules one at the end, so definitely keep going long enough for that. And if you like Em_Jaye’s writing, you should check out The Long Way Around—a Shieldshock, time travel, Endgame fix-it WIP that is excellent, as well.

One Year by @steeleholtingon

This story is WinterShieldShock. OT3s aren’t my favorite trope, but somehow with Bucky/Darcy/Steve, it works. Maybe it’s something about the boys’ history and Darcy dragging them into the future. Kind of what she does for each of them individually in WinterShock and ShieldShock, but with even more oomph. I haven’t read the whole tag, but One Year is my favorite.

Bucky’s Winter Soldier recovery has pushed both Steve and Bucky to the edge. Steve ends up leaving (at Bucky’s demand, but also because the team is afraid he’s going to do some kind of suicide via superhero duty if he doesn’t get his head on straight). The wrinkle—the night before he left, Darcy and Steve had a comforting one-night stand that resulted in two pinks lines on the test. The resulting story takes place one month at a time. Steve tries to piece himself back together and put his feelings for Bucky in the past whilst falling for Darcy over text messages. Bucky, on the other hand, realizes how he fucked it all up and vows to be there for Darcy and Steve’s baby while Steve is gone. Darcy navigates the waters of an unplanned (but wanted) pregnancy while balancing her feelings for both of them. And all the rest of the Avengers, science crew, and other Avengers-adjacent peeps support all three of them through it all. Angst, recovery, and a happy ending. So good!

So, after all that, what are you guys waiting for? Get to reading all this Darcy goodness! :-)

And now I need to figure out what fic rec list to work on next. I have a Stranger Things one (Harringrove and Mileven) almost ready to go, and then I need to decide what to do with the ships and characters that I don’t have a full top ten for. Group them together, perhaps? Bughead and LoVe might be a good combination, lol. And WinterHawk and WinterIron.

#darcy lewis #darcy x steve #darcy x loki #darcy x bucky #wintershock #shieldshock #tasertricks #fanfic #fanfic rec #quarantine reads #highly recommend #thanks for writing these fics #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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iwillbeinmynest · 4 years

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The Monte Carlo Job - Steve x Reader(f) Chapter 2

Authors Notes: Here comes Part 2 Y'all! I hope you are enjoying this series. I know it came out of nowhere but I was feeling sad and wanted to just post something so I started a new series, even though I haven’t finished my last one... Anywayyysss, Have some more Steve!

Word Count: 1.8k

Notes/Warnings: Your typical action/MI type trope. There is glitz and glam as well as running for your life and fighting to stay alive. Bad guys and allies, guns and galas. Mentions of death, one sleazy and creepy guy who makes one too many passes, use of guns, fighting, drinking, being framed for murder and clearing your name. It’s a wild ride folks!

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Y/N and Steve walked hand in hand back to the main floor of the museum where the actual Gala was being held.

The grand room was littered with tall tables and waiters with trays of glasses. There was a quartet in the back corner playing classical music and a small stage to the right with a lone microphone on it.

Bucky waved at them through the crowd and caught Steve’s eye.

“There you two are.” Nat smiled when they reached the table. “What were you up to, huh?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not what you think, we actually looked at the art.”

“Of course you were,” Bucky said. “Cause Stevie, here, wouldn’t dare do anything scandalous.”

“I would.” Steve defended himself. “I just happen to know the guy in charge of security and I know that all of the cameras are running.”

They chuckled.

“So,” Y/N looked around the room. “Who’s the target?”

Steve raised his brows as he scanned the floor. “Not sure yet. I recognize a few faces so I’ll have to make my rounds but I’ll let you know when I need a trophy on my arm to close a deal.”

Y/N smacked his arm and Nat and Bucky laughed.

“Please,” Y/N laughed, “If anything, you’re the trophy in this relationship.”

“She’s right.” Nat gracefully snatched two glasses of champagne from a passing tray. Bucky did the same. “You should hear the dirty things the women at our spin class say when you pick us up every thursday.”

“Excuse me?” Steve’s eyes widened.

Y/N laughed. “Oh come on, sweetheart. Girls will be girls, right?”

Nat held up her glass for a toast, “Here’s to another fantastic evening together. May we land a new client or have a blast tryin’.”

“Cheers!” They all raised their glasses.

* * * * * * *

Y/N and Nat usually stuck together and tonight was no different. They were standing a few tables over speaking with what Steve could only presume were other wives and girlfriends.

Steve and Bucky had been making their rounds, speaking with previous clients and making new acquaintances. These men were the richest of the rich, and that’s coming from Steve who lives beyond comfortably. The men tried to talk to Steve and Bucky about the military and people they knew that served.

It took Steve all he had not to roll his eyes, clearly these men had never seen war and the fact that they talked as though they had was infuriating.

“So, I say to the man,” A gentleman in an ascot smiled and waved his cigar around. “Either you pay me or I’ll send Howard!”

The other men around them laughed, Bucky and Steve smiled politely but shared a look.

“Well said, John.” Steve set a hand to the man’s back. “Excuse us.”

Both he and Bucky nodded and walked away from the table.

“I swear, Steve,” Bucky clenched his jaw and tried to take a subtle deep breath. “I don’t know why you make me come to these things.”

“I know,” Steve shook his head as they headed for Y/N and Nat. “But if I have to suffer, I’m not doing it alone.”

“I thought that’s why Y/N is here?”

“And make her listen to that crap, no way. I bring her so I can see her dolled up like that.” He nodded at his wife.

“We got lucky didn’t we?” Bucky watched Nat run her ring finger around the brim of her whiskey glass. She looked over and gave him a wink.

“That’s an understatement.” Steve smiled when Y/N followed Nat’s gaze and smiled at Steve.

Y/N and Nat excused themselves from the group of women and walked arm in arm to their husbands.

“You boys havin’ fun, yet?” Nat asked as she let go of Y/N and leaned into Bucky’s chest.

“Not at all.” He kissed the top of her head.

“How about you?” Steve asked Y/N.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Those women don’t know anything about what their husbands or boyfriends do. They’re just having a bragging party.”

“I wasn’t talking about prospective clients, babe, but I appreciate that your mind is on the company.”

Y/N smiled. “Well, you’re really gonna wish we’d landed one when you see the receipt for this dress.”

Steve closed his eyes and chuckled.

“Your girl has expensive taste.” Bucky teased his best friend.

“Nat picked it out.” Y/N clarified.

Both Steve and Bucky nodded.

“Now, see,” Steve grinned. “That makes more sense.”

Steve leaned down and kissed the side of Y/N’s head. “You ready to call it a night?”

“Yeah,” She smiled up at him. “I am.”

“Okay, then.” Steve held out his elbow and she wrapped her hand around it. “Shall we?”

As the two couples were making their way towards the exit, a man stepped out in front of them.

“Are you Mr. Rogers of Stealth Security?” The man asked. His Russian accent slowed his words but he spoke english well.

Steve held out a hand and the man took it in a firm shake. “I am. Have we met?”

“I’m afraid not.” The man straightened his spine and leaned his head back slightly. “My name is Petrov Lebedev and your reputation precedes you.” he grinned.

Steve raised his brows and lowered his arm, taking Y/N’s hand in his and squeezing it as an apology for staying longer. “Does it?”

“Yes. I have heard that you offer exceptional service in the matter of private security.”

A woman appeared at Petrov’s back. Y/N smiled at her but, the woman simply looked Y/N up and down then at Petrov.

Y/N was shocked at her blatant rudeness but kept quiet.

Beside her was another man, who could only be described as seedy. He was shorter than Steve but just as fit. His beard was stubbly and seemed to have a few scars in it where the hair no longer grew. He also eyed Y/N but in a way that made her squirm.

Steve didn’t miss that. He shifted his weight to land mostly in front of Y/N. “And who escorts you tonight?” Steve asked with very little patience, but he covered it with politeness to Petrov.

Petrov looked over and then back to Steve. “This is Sacha, my right hand and partner. And this,” He put an arm around the woman’s waist, tugging her forward. “Is Katryana.”

Steve nodded but didn’t address them. He turned to Bucky. “This is my partner, Bucky, and his wife, Natasha. And this,” he eyed Sacha hard, “Is my wife.”

Y/N straightened and tipped her head up. “Nice to meet you.” She made sure to only say that to Petrov, who hadn’t offended her, yet.

Petrov smiled then turned his attention to Steve. “I have an event coming up in three weeks in Monte Carlo and I am looking for a full team to escort myself, Sacha and Katryana around. I’m looking for everything from bodyguards to security during transportation and whatnot for the two days that we are there.”

Steve inhaled to speak but Petrov cut him off. “Money is no object and I assure you I can pay whatever you ask. Please, I want the best of the best and I have been promised that that is you.”

Steve recognized the touch of flattery but didn’t care for it.

“Well, how about I take your card and I will have my secretary check our schedule and see what we can come up with?” Steve offered. No way was he about to accept on the spot.

“Of course, of course,” Petrov smiled. “I do have one additional request though, which I understand might make a difference on the bill.”

Steve smiled and waited.

“I would like to see you there, personally. You can even bring your wife and make a trip of it, yes?”

Steve took a deep breath to unclinch his jaw and grinned. “We will consider it, schedule pending, of course.”

“Yes, of course.” Petrov pulled a card from the inside pocket of his coat. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise,” Steve took it and slid it into his pocket without a glance. “Have a good evening.”

Steve took Y/N’s hand and escorted her to the foyer where all four of them collected their coats.

“I don’t like him, Steven.” Y/N said with a sigh. It was rare that she spoke out against a client but there was something about Sacha that she absolutely did not like.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He stood behind her as a shield, separating her from the ballroom, “We can discuss it on Monday. Forget about him for now.” He took her hand and kissed her palm.

Bucky huffed. “If Sacha had looked at Nat that way, I’d have laid him out right there.”

Steve snapped to Bucky and glared at him, “You think I didn’t want to?”

Bucky swallowed and took a breath. He held the door open for Nat and then Y/N and Steve. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you would, I just-”

Nat put her hand on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. “Let it go, baby.” She cooed and kissed him quickly.

Steve walked away to pay the valet. Y/N walked half way and waited for him.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N said sincerely when the valet ran off to bring the car around.

Steve looked at her curiously, his frustration fading slightly, “For what?”

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. “All of that. Sacha, Petrov, Bucky. And you know he didn’t mean it like that, right? He was just as heated as you.”

“I really doubt that.” Steve grumbled.

“Steve,” She said his name with a tone that urged for his attention. He looked down at her. “I’m fine. Totally over it. He didn’t touch me, everything is fine.”

“He didn’t have to touch you, did you see-”

Bucky passed with Nat to retrieve their car and Steve inhaled sharply.

Just then the valet returned and handed the keys to Steve.

Y/N took his hands. “He loves you, and me. He just talks too much.” She offered a small smile.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He fiddled with the keys to his Tesla.

“Don’t be mad at Bucky for something you would have done if the situation was reversed.” Y/N added.

Steve nodded then pulled Y/N into a tight hug, kissing the crown of her head. “I hate it when you do that.”

“Do what?” She looked up at him.

He leaned down, close enough to kiss her. “Fix everything.” He smiled against her mouth and kissed her softly.

Bucky and Nat approached calmly.

Y/N hugged Nat and Steve and Bucky clasped arms in a firm shake. Steve nodded to Bucky and Bucky nodded back.

“Have a good night.” Y/N said to Nat with a kiss to the cheek.

“We will, you too.” She smiled. Both of them were relieved to see the balance restored between their husbands.

Steve waved to Bucky as they walked off then turned to open the door for Y/N. She stopped close against him before she sat down into the car. “Thanks for protecting me.” She patted his chest.

He took her hand and held it over his heart, “Always.”

* * * * * * *

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Monte Carlo Tags:

#Steve x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers series #steve rogers #captain america #the monte carlo job #iwillbeinmynest #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #you x steve rogers #captain america x reader #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff

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engineheaven9 · 3 years

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U.S. soccer to face antagonistic Honduras, the place batteries, urine and animal heads might also fly

SAN PEDRO SULA, Honduras — Shin-excessive grass. A rain of batteries, bags of urine and severed animal heads. lost bags, loud parties, lodges with no electrical energy and climate it is either way too scorching, means too humid or way too lots of both. those are just probably the most distractions the U.S. national soccer team has needed to contend with when playing World Cup qualifiers on the road. And that’s where it may be Wednesday when the crew — lacking four starters to harm or suspension — faces Honduras within the unfriendly confines of Estadio Olímpico Metropolitano, on a container surrounded by means of a sequence-hyperlink fence for the players’ insurance policy. “It’s like Thunderdome,” mentioned Alexi Lalas, a former country wide team defender who played in 12 qualifiers. “You simply are looking to get out alive to a certain extent.” that may frequently suppose like an not likely effect. At halftime of a qualifier performed before a adversarial crowd of a hundred and fifteen,000 within the warmth, altitude and smog of Mexico city, Lalas feared for Cobi Jones’ lifestyles as he watched his teammate cough up “disgusting globules of darkish stuff.” “these things, combined [with] the machine guns and the dogs and the fire alarms a good way to get pulled, all of that variety of stuff occurs,” Lalas referred to. “so you’ve received to be mentally amazing to bob and weave and simply roll with all the s--- that’s about to return. actually.” sure, there are also reports of excrement being thrown at players, another reason enjoying in CONCACAF, the FIFA confederation that encompasses North the united states, vital the us and the Caribbean, isn't for the faint of heart or vulnerable of charter. And it’s already proven a learning journey for a younger U.S. team that entered the latest match with 19 players who had in no way taken half in a CONCACAF qualifier. “There’s no simulation for enjoying on a horrible container, 95-degree climate with ninety% humidity, apart from doing it and realizing [it] and feeling the force worried. That’s just the fact,” talked about Landon Donovan, who had a cup of vomit thrown at him right through a video game in Mexico, where the U.S. turned into as soon as locked out of its own dressing room. “It’s a very diverse animal,” Jones agreed. In Costa Rica, U.S. gamers had been spat on and pelted with cash, batteries, pieces of wire fencing and numerous liquids. In Guatemala, a 2000 semifinal-circular qualifier changed into moved from the capital to the tiny city of Mazatenango on the ultimate minute, forcing the group to make a 3-hour bus trip over mountain roads. “Some man with a hand lawnmower was reducing the grass. It turned into about seven inches excessive,” remembers Bruce enviornment, who has coached the most World Cup qualifiers in U.S. Soccer history. “It become invariably all this gamesmanship.” So constant, definitely, it inspired its own verb. To get CONCACAFed ability succumbing to the features, trickery or negative rulings from officials greater attracted to getting out alive then in getting the calls appropriate. The group inn is a typical website for that, with loud, all-night celebrations within the parking zone making it difficult for the players to sleep. In Honduras, a newspaper once printed a floor plan of the U.S. resort while Jones remembers an extra lodge that had an unexplained vigour outage simply after the group checked in. “It’s honking and horns blasting and vuvuzelas at 2 in the morning. multiple instances the fire alarm goes off,” said Jones, who played in a record 164 games for the U.S. “These are issues that ensue perpetually. after which sure, you need to play a online game.” When DaMarcus Beasley and goalkeeper Tim Howard performed for the U.S., they stated they frequently registered under fake names to prevent undesirable calls within the core of the nighttime. “There’s all the time some variety of new holiday, new festival the day earlier than the video game,” referred to Beasley, who had a bird head thrown at him in El Salvador. “They make sure the game is as uncomfortable as viable after they play the U.S.” a different regular trick is grass it truly is several inches excessive, making each passing and operating difficult. “It’s more complicated to trap or to pass a ball. That capacity the ball’s at your feet much more,” Jones stated. “And when that occurs it gives a defender much more time to return into you and do some thing he desires to do.” members of the U.S. soccer crew go away the pitch following a 1-1 draw in opposition t Canada in a global Cup soccer qualifier on Sunday in Nashville. (Mark Humphrey / associated Press) The gamesmanship is tolerated, if no longer inspired, as a way to stage the enjoying box, allowing a group like Honduras, which has 14 avid gamers from the country’s domestic Liga Nacional, to compete with a team just like the U.S., which has 13 gamers from first-division groups in Europe. And it’s worked. dating to the beginning of the ultimate qualifying cycle in 2016, the U.S. has won 30 of 36 games with CONCACAF teams performed in the U.S. however only 1 of eight played in Latin america or the Caribbean, with that lone win coming in a international locations League game towards Cuba that became held within the Cayman Islands. “In CONCACAF, no person gives a crap where you’re enjoying. no one offers a crap how tons funds you’re making or how famous you are or who you’re dating,” Lalas mentioned. “That astounding résumé that you have capability diddly squat when that whistle blows in CONCACAF. It’s the super equalizer.” Jurgen Klinsmann, who played on an international Cup winner in Germany, then coached the country to a third-place finish in the 2006 event, discovered it complicated to explain to pals in Europe how powerhouses like Mexico and the U.S., both ranked among the many precise 10 on the earth, may struggle in locations like Costa Rica, where the U.S. has not ever won. “The game is approached absolutely distinctive. The cases, the local weather, the container, the opposing lovers, the referee getting influenced,” mentioned Klinsmann, who received simply two of six street qualifiers as U.S. train. “in case you have France in opposition t Germany, home and away, the environments are very similar. The fields can be first rate, the referee should be neutral and the climate can be ok. however no longer in CONCACAF. “You truly don’t comprehend what is going to turn up. That makes it unpredictable.” occasionally simply getting to the online game in uniform is the greatest problem. right through arena’s first stint as coach, from 1998-2006, the crew’s bags changed into lost so frequently players have been required to pack their game boots in their lift-on baggage. The group at last switched to charter flights. There can also be a political facet to the video games. “You’re not simply the opposition, you're the us,” Lalas spoke of. “That rachets it as much as an entire different level because this might be their one possibility to superior the USA in anything.” “here is every thing for each nation,” Beasley brought. “and that they do every little thing of their power to assist their nation gain an advantage over the united states. “They make certain the video game is as uncomfortable as feasible.” U.S. teach Gregg Berhalter knows that, having appeared in 14 qualifiers all the way through his enjoying days. So he’s limited his crew’s time on the highway, arriving in each El Salvador and Honduras under 30 hours earlier than kickoff for this month’s two highway qualifiers. and maybe fearing some chicanery after remaining week’s game in San Salvador, he rushed his players onto the bus, in uniform, moments after the closing whistle, following a police escort again to the resort the place they showered and changed. “The narrative about CONCACAF away video games is there,” he said. “It’s practically the way you settle for it. It’s about how you go about preparing mentally and realizing that there’s at all times going to be things that turn up that you simply deserve to be capable of respond to.” On Wednesday, the U.S. needs to reply with a influence or the street forward will get in reality treacherous. 먹튀검증

#먹튀검증

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years

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ONE HUNDRED FORTY SEVEN - THE DATE (3)

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

FULL STORY MASTERLIST

ENDING THREE MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 1,680ish

Summary: Bucky takes Bailey on a date.

I don’t know how long we were driving before we stopped. Bucky had taken us into the mountains. The winding roads and falling snow was really helping me clear my head. I hate to say it again, but Bucky was right. This was much needed. When we pulled up to a snowy hill, that’s when he decided to stop. There was a small trailer at the bottom of the hill, with two sleds leaning against it.

“What is this place?” I asked as I unbuckled and looked around again.

“I bought another trailer a few months back,” Bucky answered. “I come up here when I’m struggling and just need to take a step back.”

“It’s beautiful Buck.”

“I thought that we could go sledding and then I’d fix you up some food.”

“That sounds great, but I don’t have any of my snow gear.”

“Don’t you worry, doll,” he reached into his back seat, pulling out a duffle bag, “Pepper packed for you.”

“Of course she did,” I chuckled, taking the bag from him.

“The trailer’s unlocked, so you can go in and change. I’ll change in here.”

I quickly ran from the truck to the trailer. Entering the trailer, I was pleasantly surprised. It was almost an exact replica of McDreamy’s trailer in Grey’s Anatomy. I set the duffle bag on the bed before opening it. A small note sat on top of my folded clothes. I carefully opened it to see Pepper’s delicate handwriting.

Bailey,

Please enjoy today. Don’t feel like you need to hurry back. We have plenty of people here with us. Morgan and I will be fine. I can’t wait to hear all about your day off.

Love, Mom

P.S. Follow your heart. Bucky’s a good guy. No matter what happened between him and your dad. He’s a good guy.

I smirked at the post script, shaking my head at my mother. Hearing the truck door shut, I realized that I needed to hurry. I slipped the note back into the duffle before throwing my snow clothes on. As I did, I noticed that Pepper had packed a few days worth of clothes. How long did she plan on me being gone? As I zipped up my coat, Bucky knocked at the door.

“You ready, Bay?” He questioned from outside.

I walked over and opened the door. “Just barely.”

We each grabbed a sled and made our way up the hill. We raced up and down the hill, multiple times, laughing the whole way. It felt so good not to have to worry about anything for a little bit. After reaching the top of the hill for what felt like the hundredth time, I looked behind me to realize that Bucky didn’t have his sled with him.

“Need a ride Sarge?” I gave him a sly smile.

“I was hoping for one.”

I set the sled on the ground and jumped onto it, looking at him with eager eyes. “Come on then!”

“You gonna make me to all the hard work, doll,” he chuckled as he made his way behind me.

“You’re the one who wanted a ride.” I smiled.

Bucky pushed the sled forward before quickly jumping on. His legs found their way besides mine and his arms wrapped around my waist. We hollered and laughed the whole way down, coming to a sliding stop at the bottom. I turned back to say something, when I realized how close our faces were. We stared at each other for a long minute, Bucky’s eyes occasionally glancing down at my lips.

“You ready to go inside?” Bucky’s soft whisper broke our silence.

“Sure,” I nodded.

The moment Bucky’s arms left my waist, I longed to be wrapped in them again. He helped me up before guiding us back to the trailer. We took turns in the bathroom, Bucky going first, changing out of our snow gear. When I exited the bathroom, Bucky was at the stove, cooking something.

“I’m making some hot chocolate,” he stated. “When it’s done, I was thinking that we could make some dinner.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I moved past Bucky, and curled up on the small bench at the front of the trailer. I found myself mindlessly staring out the window. The snow began to slowly fall again, it was beautiful. Bucky came up beside me, holding two mugs of steaming hot chocolate.

“What ya thinking about, doll?” Bucky asked, handing over a mug.

“Nothing.” I smiled, turning to look at Bucky as I took the mug from him. “Absolutely nothing. And it’s wonderful.” I took a sip of the drink, allowing the taste and heat to fill some of my broken soul. “Thanks so much, Bucky.”

“Anytime,” he smirked. “I was really right about you needing the day off.”

“I guess,” I shrugged playfully. “Seriously, though. Thank you. The past few months have been a lot. And you’ve always been there, for me and my family… And I’m sorry I really haven’t been there to support you. I’ve been too caught up in my own problems to notice yours… I’m really sorry. You lost Steve in a way too. You came back and he decided to leave.”

“Don’t be. That punk has always been unpredictably predictable. Plus, you’ve been through more than anyone should have too… I am a little concerned about one thing though.”

“And that is?”

“About your mourning techniques. I haven’t really seen you cry over your father or Nat. It’s a little concerning, to all of us.”

“Well it’s hard to cry over people you are able to see whenever you want,” I responded without thinking.

“What?” Bucky stopped the mug from going all the way to his mouth, quickly setting it down.

I clenched my eyes shut. “Crap.”

“Oh ya crap,” Bucky crossed his arms. “Start talking.”

I nervously bit my lip, trying my best to avoid Bucky’s hard stare. I looked down, playing with my fingers that were wrapped around the mug.

“I—“ I cleared my throat. “The day of the memorial, when I…” I sighed. “When I fainted into the lake. I saw them. I was taken to… the Afterlife? Yeah, the Afterlife, let’s call it that. My powers… There’s more to them… I can come and go freely, to the Afterlife.”

“Does anyone else know about this?”

“Wanda and Pepper. Strange might as well.”

“Can you take people with you?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I haven’t tried.”

“Have you seen anyone else besides Natasha and your father?”

“Yes.” I took a deep breath. “I got to meet my grandparents, Howard and Maria.” I glanced at Bucky, him simply nodded in response. “I actually was visiting my father when—“ Then it hit me. I left in such a hurry to get to Morgan. He must think that Morgan’s not okay with what he did. “Oh no! When I saw glimpses of Morgan’s dream I was with him.” My worried and guilty eyes meet Bucky’s concerned ones. “I told him that Morgan thought he left because he didn’t love her anymore. I need to go make sure he’s okay.”

“How about let’s get you to the bed and then you can, okay? I can already tell you’re blaming yourself about how he’s probably feeling. But it’s not your fault.”

Bucky stood up, taking the mug from my hands and setting it down. He gently took my hand and pulled me up from the bench, guiding me to the bed in the back of the little trailer. He sat down on it before I could, patting the spot beside him. I laid down on the patted spot, wiggling around a bit before finding a comfortable spot.

“Here,” Bucky began to turn me so that my head was on his lap. He spread my hair out, brushing through it. “Now close your eyes and do whatever you need to… I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“Thanks, Buck,” I whispered, making eye contact with him.

“Anytime.” He gave me a gentle smile, still running his fingers through my hair.

I closed my eyes and found myself in the Malibu Mansion once again. I searched everywhere for Tony, but couldn’t find him anywhere. I was even struggling to sense him. I paced around the workshop for what seemed like hours before I heard the front door open and footsteps making their way towards the stairs. I waited until he was fully into the workshop before saying anything. He had dark circles beginning to form under his eyes, his also were also red. He had been crying.

“Dad,” I said, gaining his attention. I was quick to go to him and pull him into a comforting hug. “It’s okay, Dad… She’s okay… It was just a nightmare. She knows that you love her… That you didn’t leave her like that…” I rubbed circles on his back as he clung to me. I could feel a few of his tears drop onto my neck. “She’s okay… You’re okay… We’re okay…”

Tony and I stayed like that for a while. Afterwards we had a little chat, clearing everything up before I left. When I opened my eyes, Bucky was still brushing through my hair and staring lovingly down at me. Without really thinking, I reached up and put my hand on the back of Bucky’s neck. He furrowed his brows in confusion, and I could feel his mind turning. I sat up as I pulled him down, connecting our lips. The kiss was very short, sweet, and simple. It ignited something in both of us, something either of us never realized could even be ignited. I pulled back, gazing up at him.

“I’m sorry,” I quietly but quickly said. “I... something just took over me.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He shook his head.

“Buck... I... I couldn’t have survived these past months without you... You have no idea how much you being by my side has helped me.”

His flesh hand found its way to my cheek, his thumb rubbing it gently. “I will always stay by your side, doll. No matter what.”

We began kissing again. But before anything could get heated, I quickly pulled away. “Wait. How are we going to tell Steve? Or Tony?”

“We’ll deal with it, doll.” He brushed a hair away from my face. “Together.”

“Together… I kind of like the sound of that.” I grinned.

next >

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politics-notmything · 4 years

Text

If it’s true what they say

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Tw- Anne says fuck twice

For some reason, after around five years of this, Anne has not yet learned her lesson. Once again, she had woken up and instantly shot out of bed upon reading the face of the clock, which indicated it was ten minutes until the end of breakfast. Although, while she still hasn’t figured out how to wake up early, she has mastered the art of getting ready in a flash. After rolling out of bed, she had to quickly locate wherever the fuck her uniform was (usually on the floor) and throw it on. Oftentimes, she didn’t even bother to change out of her pyjamas and was just able to cover them with her long, black robes. Today was one of those days. It’s not like anyone would notice, anyway. She could always go back up to her dorm room later, during a free period or lunch, to properly change. Next came rapidly brushing her teeth and hair all while tugging on her socks, then shoes. Once that was done, she could run (more like fall) up the steps of the Slytherin common room and dash into the Great Hall. And that’s the step she was at now.

Out of breath and panting heavily, ANNE reached the Great Hall with five minutes to spare. She quickly located Kitty sitting at their usual spot at the Hufflepuff table, and she flopped down next to her friend. Anne grabbed some toast and eggs, making a quick breakfast sandwich, and took a bite out of it. As she chewed, she took the two hair ties from around her wrist and quickly pulled her hair into her typical messy spacebuns.

Next to her, Katherine was finishing off the last of her orange juice while listening to another Jane Seymour describe the wild dream she had last night. Anne was only able to catch a few words of the story. Something about Henry VII and his SIX wives? It made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but Kitty seemed to be dying from laughter, so she supposed it’d be funnier if she’d actually heard the whole story. Speaking of, that reminded her, she still had to force Kat to watch High School Musical with her. For some reason, Katherine has not yet watched the iconic movie trilogy featuring the one and only Zac Efron and Anne made a quick mental note to make Kitty watch it with her once they were home for the holidays.

Once Jane had finished their tale, Kat turned towards Anne, tears of laughter still in her eyes.

“G’morning, Annie,” she chuckled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “You missed the owls again. Your dad sent you a letter.” From her robes, she pulled a white envelope with “ANNE BOLEYN” written on the front in her dad’s messy scrawl. Ever since her first year, her father has sent her a letter each week, checking up on her and it almost always ended with him screaming at her. More often than not, Kat technically got the letter and then proceeded to pass it along to her.

Anne took the letter from Kat and opened it, accidentally ripping the envelope as always. Her eyes quickly scanned over the parchment paper as Kitty peered over her shoulder. Most of the letter contained the typical stuff, although her dad also asked how the Quidditch match had gone. Upon reading that, Anne let out an audible groan and jammed it back into the envelope, then into the pocket of her robes. Great. On the bright side, he was usually pretty forgiving about Anne’s antics as long as it wasn’t extremely out of line.

As the clock struck eight a.m., students began filing out of the Great Hall and heading towards their first classes. Hurriedly, Anne scooped the remnants of her sandwich in a napkin and ran to catch up with Kat who had already started walking away from the table.

================================

Twirling a stick between her gloved hands, Anne watched the flower before her intently, only half-listening to whatever Sprout was lecturing them about. She’d only caught the introduction to the class’s activity, caring for Fanged Geraniums or something like that, before she became more interested in the magical flower and zoned out. Currently, her assigned plant was attempting to snap at the stick with its rows of sharp teeth.

“Fuck,” she quietly cursed. Katherine had just elbowed her, drawing her attention fro just a moment away from the Geranium. It seized the opportunity and used the distraction as a chance to finally nip at her fingers. Thankfully, Anne was able to swiftly draw her hand back in time before she lost any vital body parts and glared at her friend. “What the hell?”

The younger girl said nothing and just tilted her head towards Sprout who was now pacing around the greenhouse as she talked, getting increasingly closer to the pair. Immediately, Anne dropped the stick, which the Fanged Geranium gladly gobbled up, and tried her best to look as if she’d been listening the whole time.

Professor Sprout looked at her with raised eyebrows but didn’t make a move to call her out about it. “Alright now, get to work, class.”

As soon as she said that, Anne turned to Kitty. “Okay, so, what the fuck are we supposed to do?”

“Annie, why do you never pay attention?” Kat asked, already starting to tend to her plant. It was clear from her tone that it was meant to be a rhetorical question. “You know this is going to be on the O.W.L.s, right?”

“I dunno,” Anne responded, watching Kat’s actions and attempting to replicate them with her own Geranium. Somehow, she must’ve gotten it right because the plant stopped snapping at her hands whenever they got close to it. “I just can’t, y'know?”

“Sure, Anne,” Kitty said, sarcastically, and looked up from what she was doing, turning her attention to the Slytherin. Her gaze shifted downward, to the now passive plant in front of Anne. “What the heck, how? You weren’t even listening.”

The Boleyn girl stared back at her friend with a somewhat smug expression on her face and looked back down at the Fanged Geranium, grinning.

===========================

Yawning, Boleyn drummed her fingers against the round Divination table as she did her best to follow Professor Trelawney’s ramblings. Quite frankly, though, she couldn’t care less about whatever the fuck her dreams meant. Half the time, she can’t even remember what happens in them. But, older students said Divination would be an easy class so here she was. They were mostly right. All the homework was just taking some shit she saw and then making it more dramatic. Thinking about candles? Write about how Hogwarts burned down in your dream journal. Simple.

Really, the hardest part about the subject was having to endure over an hour of Trelawney’s lessons every other day. She would always talk about weird, “prophetic” shit like reading tea leaves or seeing visions. Anne didn’t understand any of that crap, and quite frankly didn’t care, either. There were two kinds of people when it came to Trelawney. Most didn’t believe any of the bullshit she spewed, but there were a handful of students that hung on each and every word no matter how ridiculous.

Anne looked at Kat for a moment before grabbing a piece of parchment out of her bag and scribbling a note, then sliding it across the table to the Hufflepuff.

Would u rather-

Sit through 100 hours of Binns or 100 hours of this bullshit w T?

Kitty glanced at Anne with a slight smile tugging at her lips, then began to write a response. Depends on the day. Sometimes Trelawney lets us drink tea.

Anne grinned, shaking her head. Of course, Kitty could find the good in Trelawney’s dumb classes.

At least the ghost dude actually teaches us shit though.

Kat rolled her eyes slightly and leaned down to respond, but they both heard an annoyed huff come from behind them. It was Catherine Parr. Anne turned around and gave her a look that clearly said, “What the hell are you looking at, smartass?”

Cathy turned to her best friend who was sitting beside her, to borrow a quill and quickly wrote something neatly on a scrap of parchment, then proceeded to hand it to Anne with a condescending look.

Stop passing notes, it's really distracting.

Anne glared quickly before scribbling a response.

Hypocrite.

She dropped the paper in front of Cathy, then, without a second glance, turned back to Kat, who was finishing up the last word of her note.

But Trelawney knows stuff about divination, remember that one time she predicted that you would fall in love with a girl who’s name started with an ‘M’, then a few weeks later you started majorly crushing on this girl named Maggie?

Anne smiled slightly, the glitterball was, of course, right. She tended to be right at that sort of thing. Every now and then, Trelawney had a moment of clarity in which her predictions turned out to be correct. They never quite ended up the way you’d expect them to though. Instead of responding to Kitty’s last comment, Anne wrote,

Catherine is pissing me off. She just gave me the fucking stink eye.

Kitty frowned, shaking her head.

Which one?

Anne nodded in understanding as Catherine of Aragon and Catherine Parr both sat behind them.

The smart one... who’s also kinda hot.

She scribbled out the last part.

Anne was about to continue on, but a particular voice piped up from behind them. “Excuse me, Professor? Anne and Katherine Howard have been passing notes for the past fifteen minutes and it’s been very distracting to me and others sitting near them.”

Parr. Of fucking course, it was Cathy who would call them out. Anne felt a flash of anger and annoyance but held her tongue. After the whole “losing the first Quidditch match of the year” ordeal, Anne had been careful to avoid getting in too much trouble, and she knew that if she responded to the Ravenclaw, it would only get increasingly worse for her.

Professor Trelawney turned her head to face Boleyn, with a look of distaste on her face. Anne wasn’t very well-liked by many of the professors, except maybe Madame Hooch. She was particularly good at flying and Kitty’s talent with Charms meant that when they were learning Incendio, she was among one of the first to conjure up a stream of fire.

“Ooooooh,” a handful of the other students called out.

Another one, in particular (it sounded like Anna of Cleves) shouted “Exposed!” Anne flushed red with embarrassment.

“Ah, oh. Um, five points from the both of you,” It was clear that Trelawney wasn’t going to make it a big deal; it wasn’t often that she doled out punishments to students. But, it was more than enough to fuel the anger inside of the gremlin.

Anne spun around to give Cathy a death glare, to which Cath returned with a fake smile and a shrug of her shoulders. She then rotated in her seat towards Kat, who had pointedly turned to face Trelawney, clearly not wanting to lose any more points. Rolling her eyes, Anne followed Kitty’s lead and tried to listen to whatever the hell the nutso professor was going on about.

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tortoisesforhire · 4 years

Text

The MCU Meta no one asked for

Part 1 (yes this is going to be a multi-part meta I am that petty)

So I’m very salty about how the Marvel movies have gone, for a variety of reasons and as they continue to churn out hot shit that I have to see on my dash every fucking day I decided to write a thing on it. Because fuck Disney and fuck Marvel for ruining something that I have loved my whole life. Now I considered several methods of how to approach this, where to even start unsifting the mega ton crap pile that is the MCU (no I will not apologize it is CRAP and I absolutely WILL explain why.) And I’ve decided chronological order is the best way to go. And the most classic, so here we go.

Everything Marvel Got Wrong In Order From The Beginning

So before I get those whiney crybabies who spit at me ‘Everything Exists in Its Own Universe it’s the Multiverse’ blah blah blah, I’m not gonna be talking about differences from the comics too much. Only in the sense of story structure and narrative. Because more than I am a Massive Marvel Comics Nerd I am also a writer and things like plot and story fucking matter okay. So don’t @ me with your bullshit ‘kay.

Narratively Ironman, the first movie, is more or less perfect. There are a few elements that really matter in a superhero movie and Jon Favreau really hit the nail on the head with Tony Stark and this had a lot to do with RDJ’s performance and passion for the role. A Superhero Movie needs, essentially, three things; Theme, Character and Adversary. Pretty basic yeah? Kind of. Superheroes and Superhero comics are about hope and conquering the odds and success against insurmountable failure. Tony Stark’s story is a story of redemption, and the belief that you can change for the better. Favreau really made us feel Tony’s fury at what he and his company had been made into. His righteous desire to be better, to clean up the mess that Obie and his father and his own foolish negligence had created. The theme was righteous redemption and they sold it to us wholesale and it worked very well.

The Character of Tony Stark, I don’t think would have worked as well as it did without the involvement of RDJ. He really knocked that one out of the park. He conveyed perfectly the juxtaposition of Tony’s arrogance and his self loathing. We as the audience understood his front of cocky genius was to cover his loneliness, his scars and his insecurities instilled by Howard. He was broken, yes, but redeemable and hopeful and essentially good which is really what mattered and we loved him for it.

Obadiah Stane, Anton Vanko and Aldrich Killian are probably the weakest parts of the Ironman narrative. And this issue stems from the larger issue with the Ironman movies which is it’s very clear that they didn’t know what they were getting into with this superhero business. They had no idea it was going to blow up as big as it did and a lot of what happened later was improve. Shoddy improve, I might add. Widow’s entrance in the second movie is overhand and poorly executed, Scarlet’s performance leaves absolutely everything to be desired (shut up I’ll get there) but the real issue I find with these films and the Ironman arc is the incongruity in the second and third film with tying in Howard and SHIELD. In both Comic and MCU cannon Howard is a founding member of SHIELD. And in both Comic and MCU cannon Howard is unrepentantly, indisputably abusive towards Tony to an insane degree. So the weird video where we’re meant to believe that Howard was merely a distant but loving father is discordant with the rest of the narrative and doesn’t fit the Tony we know at all. It certainly doesn’t fit with a man who would choose Obadiah Stane as his business partner. There’s also the matter of Peggy and the fact that Tony doesn’t seem to know her which also...doesn’t make a lot of sense. From all we’ve seen Howard and Peggy were friends. She was also very close with Edwin Jarvis who essentially raised Tony. But we’re meant to believe that she never met or had a relationship with Howards son? Why? Did they have a falling out? These questions are never answered to a satisfying degree. But sure we can just sweep these under the rug of a good action storyline.

Looking at the villains themselves, Ironmonger is a good first villain for Ironman to have. Lots of personal ties, good emotional beats, kind of reminds the viewer of a knock off Lex Luthor. It would have been a stronger choice to use Obie’s son Zeke, the actual Ironmonger and who has a sordid personal history with Tony as an abusive ex. But hey, this is Disney and God forbid we even suggest any of our superheroes could possibly be something other than straight. China might not like us then would they. (pretty sure they don’t like us now but it’s the dollars that count right). Whiplash is a fairly generic Ironman bad guy, Russian eccentric genius with a vendetta against the Starks? Yeah sure. They could have peppered in some more about Howard Stark the Abusive Dad just to avoid confusion but hey, whatever. The Mandarin however is a HUGE Ironman villain and I just...I could have done with some foreshadowing. Some tie ins in the earlier movies leading up to the big bad. It would have fit more. But like I said I understand they were making it up as they went along.

Getting into SHIELD and the inclusion of Black Widow, I don’t have a lot of issue with her writing in the second movie. Like sure, her being assigned as Tony’s new PA, makes total sense. Very Natasha move. But Scarlet Johansson is a terrible choice for Natasha Romanoff. For a plethora of reasons. What reasons are those? Oh I’m so glad you asked. First off the introduction of Natasha Romanoff in the comics was fucking brilliant because the reader doesn’t know it’s her until she decides to reveal herself. Before that all we knew of the Black Widow was that she was russian and had red hair. She was very nondescript prior to that. So Tony’s new PA had red hair, so what, so did Pepper he has a type. She was bubbly and fun and used to be a model and her and Tony’s affair fit very well with his history at that point. And then BAM she’s actually a russian killer lady. It was so shocking.

Now that is clearly what Jon Favreau is trying to do there. The way he writes her in, Tony’s interest, Pepper’s exasperation. It should have been perfect except for Scarlet’s performance being so fucking obvious you could see her from space. She’s a terrible spy. Her voice doesn’t change, her face doesn’t change. Her personality remains as blank as before. She’s not subtle. Because Scarlet is not subtle. She’s not a good actress. Just because you can convey emotion does not mean you can portray a character. In every movie she is in she’s just herself in a new outfit and it is very annoying.

Natasha Romanoff is supposed to be a world class spy. Like raised from the womb spy. Given a modified super soldier serum to increase agility and severely slow the aging process (she’s like 80 something fr). She blends in, everywhere. You don’t notice her until her knife is in your back. She should 100% scare the pants off the viewer in every scene she is in because you never know if she’s being genuine or not. There’s a reason her friendship with Clint is so anomalous and it’s not because people know she used to kill people it’s because people functionally can’t trust her. Scarlet only manages to convey that she’s hot and can kick you in the face. Whoopdie do. Her performance in Ironman 2 annoys me so much because it makes Tony look stupid instead of her look scary. Because only an idiot wouldn’t peg her as the spy the moment she flipped Happy onto the mat. Like come on, you can’t introduce a character as a super genius and then allow him to miss something like that, and then act shocked later when she shows up in a leather catsuit, like obvs Tony gd.

I won’t get into the inherit sexism displayed in the lack of effort given to Natasha’s character. Her writing was shallow, her casting was bad and her storyline so inconsistent and slap shod it actually hurts me. I won’t get into the in depth character study of Natasha and all the many ways Scarlet fails at being her here. Maybe one day, but not rn. Simply put her inclusion in the Ironman arc left a lot to be desired.

In part 2 I’ll dive into Thor, Loki and the first avengers movie. I’ll have to leave Cap for part three cause that’s a lot to cut into and it deserves it’s own part.

#MCU #meta #disney #marve #mine #ironman #rdj #black widow #scarlet johansson

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