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luxaryllis · 7 months

Note

hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst platonic #twst sibling reader #twst angst #azul ashengrotto

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tiyoin · 7 days

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Tiyoin the voices got to me again. I was scrolling tho tik tok and came across a video ,and it reminded me that you mentioned reader doing a sport before attending twst in the singing au. Wanna give a guess what sport I saw??

It was ✨figure skating✨. Just imagine it for a sec. Do I know anything about skating?? No. But the idea of anxiety reader being one is beautiful. Especially since skating isnt a confrontation sports like soccer and, reader doesn't have to be in contact with someone while performing their act.

I see reader starting the sport when they were young. They may have seen it as a way to put themselves out there while doing something they enjoy and find relaxing. They didn't compete in big contests with thousands of people watching (girlie would not make it). They would only get to county or district level of the contest B4 the nerves got to them. Most likely self sabotages at the end so they wouldn't have to seen and judged by so many. Reader does has a few gold medals tho. Yuu has been their personal cheerleader for a few years now. Going to as many contests as he can to just support reader and know they're not alone.

✨Now✨

What if there is a different competition (w/o a overblot hopefully) which a sport is picked randomly. Whether you want it to be a school vs school, dorm vs dorm or maybe grade vs grade you can decide. I think it could work with any of them. Like they pick a few people to represent their side and to complete. The ones that physically compete get prizes (💰) and the others get bragging rights and a 🍕 pizza party or smth like that idk.

Anyways, Yuu is like *puppy eyes* pls reader 👉👈we poor. And reader knows Yuu is only asking cuz they they really need the money and he would never make them do smth that would harm them. Yuus real motive is maybe this will help reader make friends or less be less anxious around their classmates. And he knows Reader is gonna win cuz none of the others skate.

The only ones in NRC that I can see being able to skate to a degree is Rook, Jade or Ortho maybe Epel too. He probably hated it till his grandma said only strong people could skate cuz it's hard. I think his home town is gets snow right? Can't recall rn.

Depending on which VS is picked the outfit and preforment is gonna be a easy choice or the hardest thing in the whole contest. Maybe a duet gets thrown in there. ➖👄👁️

Overall reader is ✨stressed✨ rightfully so. The creeps are recording, admirers admirering, rivals showing up left and right. Reader gonna need a nap after everything that's happened.

Another 3-5 am ask woooo. Sorry if there is any spelling errors. Why do the best ideas always come when I'm tired 😩. I can send u a tik tok I saw that inspired me if u want. Also I don't mean to mention Rook in every ask he just shows up w/o asking. Like my fav is Malleus and I haven't send a single idea with him.

Maybe it's cuz Rooks a Sagittarius and I'm a Gemini. They are sister signs. That's probably why he lives in my head rent free. I hope a good night.

MEL- I NEED TO KISS YOU BRAIN RIGHT NOW!!

especially with the death of YOI: adolescence... a sad day for anime lovers' everywhere (im on desktop so i can't do any emojis </3)

I actually had a really big skating phase. still do and would love to have prof. lessons. i wanted to do it so. badly. my parents said 'no' and that it was too late for me, so i mourn that. believe it or not, i was in soccer and almost did it in college.

but the ice feeling so freeing whenever reader steps onto it. they're not worried about sweating because of ice, and they can move how the want when they want.

reader would 100 PERCENT self sabotage themselves. filling their head with nonsense and because of all those thoughts (especially) 'dont miss this spin, dont miss this spin' only to miss it because they were focusing on whether they would 'miss the spin or not')

but in their home world, reader is phenomenal!! they're amazing! they got scouted by amazing coaches who wanted to tap into their raw potential, who were impressed by reader's hard work and drive... but reader always finds a away to miss things up for themselves.

OH MY GOD AHHH SPORTING COMPETETIONS WERE ALWAYS MY FAVORITE ARCS IN SHOWS

ITS LIKE THEIR OWN MINI OLYMPICS HAHAHA (reader: wdym you guys dont have olympics?)

ofc there's a pre sign up and auditions. reader is thinking and mulling it over. because trying out for the boys team is very different than the girl's team, is co-ed even allowed?? this is an all boys school after all!

(yuu brings crowley to their audition to convince him to give them student-ship so they can compete and WRECK those snot-nosed princes.)

maybe there's a partner skate? and you know that the admirers of reader that can skate and sign. the. fuck. up.

I WANT SKATER JADE!! I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!! but home boy would probably not be able to skate at the level of reader just because he's og a fish and if he started skating when he turned human then he'd only have a year of experience </3

but lets just say there's a sports thing they have... not club but dedicated for this event... then i can see jade being somewhat on reader's level. but there's still a difference unfortunately

ROOK HUNT SKATED OUT OF THE WOMB!! ortho could professionally skate sine... 5 minutes ago? like c'mon guys get on his level.

though i can see rook rather being an observer. he also called it 'ice dancing' because that's what it is to him. but if rook trying out for this instead of his usual sweep of archery, all to stop some... he doesn't have a word for the level of disgust he'd have if he saw you dancing with a slimy no name.

plus he will be able to experience your growth! not just as a skater but as a person! he can also get closer to you!

vil. vil can! ice dance. he needed to learn it for a film and he's always liked the feeling of being on the ice. which makes pomefiore the contenders for being on the team / being reader's partner during partner categories.

epel would want ot learn hockey but was forced into ice skating by his grandma HAHAH she'd say that he can learn to play hockey after he's mastered the ice or something. it's something he's NOT proud of- but (if this is the point where him and reader are on good terms) then he'll happily play up him being a skating pro.

i can also see vil forcing epel into skating for the school. like wdym ice skating is for girls? get your ass on the ice NOW

SILVER AND LILIA WOULD ALSO BE ICE SKATERS AHHH. but it's a bit dangerous for silver to be on the ice but if it means helping support his friend then he's gung ho about it! just... please keep an eye on him in case he starts falling (he's usually good about that. making it to the sides before he was able to face plant on the ice. but lilia is always present in case of such emergencies (and if the designated watchers arent able to get to him in time))

lilia has dabbled in a bit of everything. so if you see him whip out a quad (with only a little bit of stumbling, as he complains about his bones again) he'll act like it's not hard (it's not- for him)

BUT IF MALLEUS WANTS TO GET INTO THAT ICE SKATING ACTION THEN HE'LL SPEND HOURS AT IT. the prince bale to do things a bit differently than everyone since he's.. ya knw, thee malleus draconia.

crowley ; you can barly even skate! why are you at the try outs!

malleus :... give me a week (and the mofo MEANS IT)

and dw i get random spouts of 'rook hunter-itis too. I DONT MIND YOU BRINGING HIM UP CAUSE I LOVE HIM- AND MALLEUS AHHHH)

#tiyoin 🔎#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted anxiety 🌀#mel <3

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maaarshieee · 1 year

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hey hi! i saw u asking for dottore requests so here i am with one :)

how about what a relationship w dottore is like while ur both attending the akademiya? before he was expelled? i would love to see ur interpretation on what he was like and what it was like to be with him!

also for the reader could i possibly ask it to be male? if not then gender neutral is fine! thank u in advance! <33

⎯⎯ ୨ 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐇𝐂𝐬 𝐰/ 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 ୧ ⎯⎯

➢ Iʟ Dᴏᴛᴛᴏʀᴇ x Gɴ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

➢ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

a/n - ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH IVE BEEN ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT WRITING THIS ILYSM /P this wasn't my best but honestly i just needed to write him,, titled "akademiya days HCs w/ dottore", have a good day/night!! ALSO PLS REQUEST THIS MAN, I PROMISE I CAN WRITE BETTER THAN THSI.

↬ cw: established long-term relationship with reader, mentions of experiments, canon typical violence, slight obsession (basic dottore warnings) usage of the name 'zandik' for dottore

You've known him, Zandik, for as long as you can remember. From childhood to your teenage years. Together, you were chased out of your hometown. Him, for being a "madman", and you, for supporting and even encouraging his maniacal tendencies.

You only went to Sumeru Akademiya to be with him since the two of you were practically inseparable. You wanted to stay by his side and help him with his experiments. That, and also the fact he needed you.

He will never outright express it, but without you, it just doesn't feel right. Like he's missing something very important. You.

At first, it didn't really mean anything to him when you stayed, but the more you stuck around? The more he was internally grateful for you staying with him, even if he wasn't the best to be with.

And the more he has to keep you with him. No matter what. Luckily, you're not letting go of him either. The two of you were a perfect match. Both have loose screws in their heads and are madly in need of each other.

Perhaps for eternity.

So he does these things for you when the two of you shared a house back in Sumeru. It's always the little things about with him. Doing the laundry before you do it, organizing your files of research when you fall asleep on your desk in midst of trying to finish them, helping you with your studies, and many more.

Sometimes he'd add notes and corrections to your research papers whenever he happens to get his hands on them.

Zandik knew you were never engrossed in researching and would rather do things with his instructions instead, so he'd help you do your tasks if it meant keeping you close to him at all times.

He'd cook you breakfast if he wasn't too busy, but he'd always complain about he has to cook for the two of you every morning when you can always just cook for yourself, albeit later, and won't be eating with him.

Zandik is so subtle in showing his love for you, but you've been with him for so long, enough to be able to understand what his actions meant. But back when you were at the Akademiya? He was like a househusband. Hell, he even folded your clothes for you and you had to scold him to stop.

He merely rolled his eyes, saying; "Your room is a mess. How can you live in this filth?"

You're caressing my clothes like a weirdo, is what you wanted to say but you knew better and kept your mouth shut. After all, you'd often steal his clothes, just wrap them around you and inhale his scent.

Since he's the type to never really mingle around others, often intimidating them or just being plain rude enough for them to start avoiding him, you took the role of being the sociable one. Basically talking to others to get more information about anything and if it's of use, you'd tell Zandik.

And he greatly appreciates how helpful you are, especially when he abhors conversing with seemingly brainless, so-called scholars of Sumeru.

You're really the only person he could tolerate the most.

Always together. From walking the halls of the Akademiya, in classes, libraries, anywhere. Anyone who knows you would always see you together. It was always odd when the other is absent next to them.

Though, to others, sometimes it wasn't clear if the two of you were in a relationship or just really close friends. Mostly because the two of you never indulge in (obvious) PDA.

Scholars would see the two of you in the library, minding each other's business, and would occasionally speak to each other. Or the banter the two of you would share here in there, usually consisting of you crying to annoy Zandik and him telling you to shut up.

But they don't even notice the hand he'd always have at the small of your back. Or the way he'd ask you if you need any help with your research. Or the way he'd always bring you coffee when he buys one himself.

It's not like both of you hate PDA, it's more like you act naturally with each other. Sometimes you'd even hold onto his arm, to which he would give you a questioning look but would never push you away.

It's the subtly outsiders of your relationship won't ever get. And you both prefer it that way.

Back at the Akademiya, it was rather docile and tame beside the secret experiments behind closed doors. Being with him was both chaotic and calm.

One moment he'd be making a fuss about his experiments to you, willingly doing errands for him to quell his frustrations, then you'd be laying on the floor, dozing off to the sounds of pen scribbling on paper, a small huff of amusement coming from Zandik.

There were many things he'd do for you, and you share the same sentiment. So, if someone were to insult you? Make you uncomfortable or just look at you in the wrong way? Well, next time you'll be seeing them strapped on a metal bed.

───── ❝ encore! ❞ ─────

"I'm honestly running out of ideas." You sighed, an arm covering your eyes while you sprawled yourself onto the cool floor. Papers surrounded your laid form, an utter mess in the middle of Zandik's way whilst he just wanted to go towards the kitchen to prepare dinner for both of you.

You were supposed to do your chores for tonight, but it's clear he'd also have to take up those tasks as well. Not when you're lamenting your own 'doom' if you've not passed your research on its due date. Not like you cared about graduating, you just thought it would be nice to achieve something while you're at Sumeru Akademiya. And now you're at risk of not graduating if you don't pass it in time.

Zandik always found humor in the way you'd fuss over your research though. You always said you've never cared, but it was clearly obvious you did. He knew you had other goals before you indulged yourself in his, so he never held you back on your own research and experiments while you were at the Akademiya. It's also nice to see you so dedicated to other things, especially if it's something you're very passionate about.

"Who knew this would be much more stressful than your research?" You grunted when Zandik nudged you to move aside with his foot, unceremoniously stepping on your thesis papers which earned a glare from you. "I hate the Akademiya..." You'd mumbler under your breath. He merely scoffed at your behavior, ignoring your existence once he finally arrived at the kitchen.

Knowing him, you sat up from the floor and made sure you were a meter away from the line drawn on the ground. Zandik put that there since, as it turns out, you're never to be trusted in the kitchen, with or without his supervision. He couldn't simply comprehend how the kitchen was up in flames when he turned away for a few moments, mistakenly trusting you to cook eggs. Eggs.

A hazard is what he calls you. So the kitchen became his territory in the house you shared. You're only allowed to enter after he's done cooking. If you somehow find yourself in the kitchen? Expect a flying spatula right at your face. You never really minded, you always preferred his cooking.

Plus, you get to see him roll up his sleeves and put on an apron.

When he was finished, he called out your name, inviting you into the kitchen. Once you entered, your stomach immediately let out a loud growl as your mouth watered at the sight of your favorite food. "Oh, is there an occasion?" You asked, taking a seat opposite of him, and immediately started digging in after you'd thanked him.

Zandik raised a brow at you, sipping on his cup of tea before saying; "No, nothing of sorts." You just let out a thoughtful hum, a smile etching your lips at each bite.

"Ah, then why?" He could only sigh at your question, grabbing a napkin and wiping the mess you've made at the corners of your mouth and your chin. You only leaned in closer, staring at his crimson eyes.

"Do I require a reason to cook something you like? It just happened to be what's available for tonight." He scoffed, shaking his head, and went back to eating his food with an annoyed expression.

You let out a silent chuckle, letting it go, and continued to eat instead. You guess that he needn't a reason, but you felt so much better after he cooked your favorite meal.

He's never straightforward with you sometimes, no? Well, as they say, actions speak louder than words.

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oneshlut · 5 months

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Hello!!!! Love your writing!!!! May i request a platonic Sun and Moon (or eclipse its up to you!) With a favorite child reader? I just think that would be adorable!!!

P.s. i LOVE your writing!!!! And your headcanons!!! Dont overwork yourself!!!! Keep being cool/pos!!!!!!!!

A/N: UGHHH you guys are SO SWEET!!! pls stop im gonna IMPLODE /j tyty for all the kind words, also i really needed some1 to tell me not to overwork myself lmaoao, ive been getting so many requests lately.. promise i'll get to all of y'all! OHOH AND I LOVE WRITING FOR THESE THREE! and child readers for them, especially!

(since im feeling extra silly i'll give you a fanfic recommendation: New Consciousness! i think it can be found on tumblr too.. its a yandere sun/moon fic&child reader, one of my favs and greatest inspo!)

Your Best Friend (Sun/Moon/Eclipse & Child!Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General meeting, friendship, and attachment headcanons for The Daycare Attendant with a child reader.

Extra Info: Sun and Moon share bodies, just like in the game. If I mention them talking to each other, they're talking with their shared consciousness.

Sun:

Sun can usually tell when someone new joins the daycare. If he doesn't hear the obvious audio clue of the ballpit, he'll have a sensor that will go off so that he's notified. Every time Sun gets a notification, you can almost see his built-in smile grow wider. A new friend!

As a child new to the Pizzaplex, entering the daycare for the first time was terrifying. I don't think the current horrible reputation on the Fazbear company helped one bit. The animatronics were definitely scary, you didn't need to know that there was a chance you could go missing because of them.

But the daycare had attendants, so that calmed your nerves. Slightly. Until you realized, they too were animatronics. The statue in the entrance of the daycare was massive compared to you. You suddenly wished that you hadn't accepted that birthday invitation.

Sun immediately goes in to meet you! He's practically radiating happiness onto you, skipping to where you were. He's definitely very intense when first meeting you, waving to you like a maniac. You eventually find yourself getting used to his upbeat energy, agreeing to do most activities with him that he brings up. This includes making macaroni art, crudely put-together paper pals, and a few drawings that he's sure to hang up in his room afterwards.

The security officers seem to catch on over the next few weeks how Sun has grown attached to one child. It pretty much went against his code, as he was supposed to be keeping a watchful eye over all the kids, not just one. But the officers at Freddy's get paid minimum wage, so they don't really care about the two of you unless they've got a lawsuit on their hands.

If you were ever feeling down, he'd immediately try to cheer you up. He will spend the entire day with you if he needs to! He may be intense, clingy, and won't let you out of his sight for a mere 2 seconds, but he's got good intentions. Sun hates seing children sad, and the one thing he knew how to do best was cheer them up. Whether this be silly faces, drawings, or hide n' seek, he always had something new to distract you from the little raincloud utop your head. However, Sun knows he can be a bit chaotic at times. If you want him to, he'll give you space. Sometimes, kids just need calm, and that was definitely not his strong suit.

Sun tries not to have "favorite" children, but he couldn't deny he was growing a bit attached. You were enjoying his company anyway, so why should he have to stop? You seemed much less nervous around him aswell, so as far as he knew, he was doing the right thing. A new term had suddenly seemed to form in his memory bank: "best friend".

Moon:

Now, Moon definitely caught you off guard. You had grown so used to Sun's warm, exatatic nature, that when the atmosphere to the daycare had a sudden chill, yet calming feel to it, you immediately thought something was wrong.

Given this, you met Moon when, apparently, Sun was going under.. technical support of some kind. You didn't know the full extent to the details, but what you did know was that Sun was gone, and in replacement, Moon took over both the day and night shifts. You watched as the kids in the daycare scrambled around, some trying to hide, and some just trying to get all their energy out before Moon came out for the night shift. You had intended to just stay away from him in a random corner, since most kids seemed afraid of him, but with the "night" shift coming up, you really had no way to avoid him.

Moon wasn't in the mood for hide n' seek. Not like Sun usually was. He recognized that he had a job to do, so if anything, he'd get it done. He did enjoy working for kids--it was in his code, after all--but this didn't distract him from his work. As most children were, you were scared of him at first. Moon normally just forced the kid to go to bed, either with a Moondrop candy, or tame threats like time-out. But you seemed.. different. He didn't want to be seen as mean, not to you. Instead, he tried to gain your trust by telling you that he was friends with Sun, assuming you were more favorable towards Sun.. again, as most kids were. Surprisingly, he was right to assume.

You, on the other hand, were thrown completely off guard. For the most part, you had thought Moon was this mean, strict, and harsh version of Sun--as you've heard from other children. But instead, you found him to be much more calming, if anything. Maybe the kids just hated having to tone down their energy, that when someone forced them to, they grew naturally afraid of them. That was your reasoning, anyway.

Unlike Sun, Moon is more of a "denier" than anything. He had things to do, and didn't need things getting in the way. But you were different. You weren't a distraction--no, far from it. He wouldn't admit it, but as Sun did, he grew attached. Out of all the kids he's taken care of during his career, you were definitely the calmest. Your presence is.. nice.

If you're going to anyone for comfort, it's Moon. This is if Sun didn't manage to cheer you up previously. Moon's version of comfort was more of quiet, small ambiance, plushies, blankets, and pillows. Sometimes storytimes! That's one method the two had in common. So if you ever have trouble sleeping when nap time comes around, Moon may or may not give you special treatment to ensure you sleep soundly. This means absolutely everything I just listed above for comfort.

He soon discovered what it was like to spend the whole day with you. He'd now ask Sun every now and then if he could take over the day shift for him. At first Sun denied, that would mean less time with you! But, if he made it equal..

Sun made a somewhat "deal" with Moon, where they would now just take days instead of shifts. This.. didn't look good to the staff, though. Instead of making them go back to their shifts, though, they would make sure they both got what they wanted. And in the staff's eyes, what the shared animatronic wanted was to each have both shifts. Not too far off.

Eclipse:

A day passed one day, where neither Sun or Moon was watching over the daycare. In replacement were just the.. extremely creepy staff bots. You began to grow worried--if he'd ever come back again. Luckily, you only had to wait a day.

The day he came back, the animatronic was.. new. Different. You tried to listen in on the clumps of children's conversations--listening until the words blended together to form the name "Eclipse". The name definitely made sense for their character.

To say you were ecstatic would be an understatement. You were practically as happy as Sun was when he first met you! Eclipse was everything you could ever want--it was both of your best friends put into one personality, one animatronic. But if anyone was more excited than you, it would be Eclipse himself. One thing that was different now was his ability to tone his excitement and clinginess down. With the two brought together, their personality fell on a balance.

Meeting you was much less of a shock for him as it was for you. You liked the new look, though. As soon as Eclipse caught your eye, he immediately skipped over to squeeze you in a tight hug. Don't worry, he tried not to squeeze too hard. Even if you were confused at first, you warmed up to him quickly. You noted his voice as he spoke to you for the first time. Not too frantic like Sun's, yet not too quiet like Moon's. Something about it was.. comforting. Which leads me to my next topic.

Eclipse is the best source of comfort you can get. He can most likely tell if you're having a bad day. If you ever feel overwhelmed/overstimulated at the daycare, he'll take you to his room for the first time. If he's being honest, he's never really shown anyone his room before--until now, that is. You immediately fell in love with the room! You would ask to go there more often, and on some days, stay in there the entire day. Eclipse didn't mind, though! Anything to cheer you up, after all.

Eventually, your birthday will come around, in which Eclipse goes all out. He didn't truly expect you to visit the daycare on your birthday--he had figured you'd like to see the Glamrocks instead, but no! Eclipse was honestly so honored that you'd want to spend your birthday with him of all animatronics. With this in mind, he tries to make today the best day of your life! The best day for you in the daycare, at that. He won't go too overboard, but he will spend all his time having fun with you. Eclipse would schedule activities to do, such as macaroni pictures, creating puppets to be used in future puppet shows, and if he's feeling nice enough, he'll sneak in some FizzyFaz into the daycare. When the day starts to near an end, he'll take you backstage to his room, where he has fully decorated the small spot with birthday balloons, banners, strings, and small gifts scattered across the floor. In the center was a.. poorly made cake. Eclipse was only an animatronic after all, his coding didn't have any baking intelligence in his mainframe. It was the thought that counted.

Going home afterwards was definitely a challenge, though. You were practically dragged away from the daycare, and Eclipse had never felt more flattered. On your drive back, you had discovered that you had a new best friend. Animatronic or not.

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finallydelight · 1 year

Note

im not sure if youre familiar enough with nct127 members but as a caratzen it would be so cute to see a markming chapter where mark officially introduces her to 127 members and they somewhat adopt her . maybe one where she even talks about it to her members when she gets back to the dorms adn cheol gets sulky because hes jealous about how much she talks about how sweet the members were to her

The Link | Ming Chapter

author's note: bold is english. there are mentions of weight loss and having anxiety. a shirtless yuta. if there is something else I forgot, pls tell me! also, im so sorry it took me this long to write! feedback, thoughts, opinions, etc. always welcome in my inbox! <3

October 22, 2022

''No kissing. No hugging. No touching!'' Cheol yelled out his demands, grabbing his stuff together and putting it in his bag. ''If any of them make you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me, okay?'' He stopped in his tracks and looked at her, one eyebrow raised.

Ming diligently nodded, holding in the urge to roll her eyes at all the ''rules'' he was spitting out about her attending the NCT 127 concert. ''Don't you think you're being a bit over dramatic?'' She dared to ask the question.

''No.'' He answered, matter-of-factly.

Joshua and Minghao walked into the living room, all ready to leave for their last schedules of the day. ''You ready, hyung?'' They stood by the door, waiting for the rapper to join them.

Cheol nodded at them, turning back around to give the youngest a goodbye hug. ''Be careful, okay?'' His remaining arm that wasn't holding his bag wrapped around her shoulders. ''Of course, now leave!'' Ming laughed, parting from the embrace.

''Bye, Mingie!'' ''Have fun!'' ''Not too much fun!'' Her three roommates left the dorm and were on their way to the cars downstairs waiting for them.

As soon as the door closed, Ming pulled out her phone, calling the person she needed most in that moment.

''Hello?''

''Soomin! What do I wear?''

''Just wait here, I'll get him for you.'' The staff member told her, before disappearing behind the door and closing it. Ming anxiously waited behind the door, the mix of different emotions becoming almost overwhelming.

It had been over two months since she had physically seen Mark. Their schedules and her hiatus prevented them from meeting somewhere in-between. She had missed seeing him, but it was a very last-minute decision to agree to his concert invite.

First, Ming was still on hiatus and being spotted at a concert while her members were putting their blood, sweat and tears into their schedules, didn't seem like the best idea. However, Mark seemed to have thought about that as well and suggested she could watch the show from backstage. That way there weren't any lurking camera's or fans, and if she needed anything there were staff members there to help her.

Second, it had been a long time since they last saw each other and that didn't exactly end in the best way. They hadn't talked about it afterwards and she doubted they would talk about it now.

A lot of things had changed in the two months that had passed. Most importantly, she had gotten closer to someone else while Mark was busy with his own activities. Also, she had seen Yeonjun more than she had seen Mark, which caused her to be very confused about her own feelings.

Mark and Yeonjun had vastly different personalities, while Mark was more on the shy and awkward side with her, Yeonjun was confident and direct about his feelings.

The opening of the door in front of her interrupted her conflicting thoughts. ''Come in quickly!'' A hand wrapped around her pulse and she was pulled into the concert building.

Once the door was fully closed and locked behind them, she was finally able to take a good look at the man in front of her. Her eyes immediately went to his freshly dyed hair, something Mark noticed. ''You like it?'' His hand instinctively went through his hair.

''It's, uh, definitely different.'' She awkwardly chuckled, quite surprised by his new hair. He laughed at her puzzled face, getting the hint she likes his darker hair better.

Mark hesitantly opened his arms, not too sure if it was appropriate or not to hug her. Ming smiled at him, finding his nervous grin endearing. She walked into his embrace, her arms secured around his waist.

A deep sigh left his mouth, as if he was relieved she was there in his arms. His head nestled in her neck as he mumbled the next words. ''Thanks for coming, I really appreciate it.'' His low voice sent chills down her spine. ''Of course, you called.'' She whispered back to him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The hug didn't last very long, both very aware of the eyes of the crew members on them. ''How are you doing? I missed you, it's been so long.'' Mark asked her, guiding her through the hallways.

Ming hadn't given much information about her hiatus to him. He knew that it involved her family and that she needed to stay in her hometown for a while. Mark had been relieved to know that everything was stable again back at home and that she had returned to Seoul about a week prior to the concert.

He had asked her a lot about her well being and assured her he was always there for her if she needed a listening ear or literally anything else. She had politely declined each time, telling him she was doing alright and that it wasn't as bad as her members made it seem.

He realized he had downplayed her wellbeing a lot as he saw her standing in front of him. Bags under her eyes, obvious weight loss, low energy and the sparkle he always saw in her eyes seemed to have dimmed. Overall, she didn't look like herself. She still looked beautiful in his eyes, but it was noticeable that she was having a hard time.

''I'm good, how are you?''

Mark smiled. ''Now that you're here, I'm doing amazing.'' He wasn't going to mention her hiatus, he just wanted her to have a nice time.

A blush appeared on her face. ''You're too cute.''

Ming's comment seemed to have the same effect on him as he had on her, because an equalling red tint appeared on Mark's cheeks.

''Hey, uh, you don't have to, but would you maybe like to say hi to the members?'' He stuttered out the words, not confident if she wanted to go and greet his members.

Ming felt her hands beginning to shake once the question left Mark's lips. It wasn't a secret to anyone she had trouble socializing with people, especially if those people were the best friends of the guy she had a crush on.

''You really don't have to, they can be a lot at times, so I understand.''

''I would love to meet them, Minhyung.''

''Nice! They really wanted to meet you.''

The 127 members had been teasing him nonstop ever since their little mistranslation incident, especially Johnny, Haechan and Yuta. It's like they finally had something else to bug the young man about that wasn't about his farting. Mark was also curious to see how Yuta and Ming would get along, seeing as his hyung had been teasing him about the woman who ''has been taking you away from me''.

Mark motioned for her to follow him, leading her to a door of which she could hear the inside voices from a mile away because of the loudness of the noises. "I told them to behave and to not act crazy, but most of the time they don't listen to me, so I'm just warning you."

Ming didn't know how to properly answer that one, so she opted for a simple, nervous laugh. Mark gave her a soft smile before opening the door to the gates of hell.

Upon Mark and Ming walking in, the room fell a bit more quiet than what she had heard outside. It wasn't a kind of silence that made her want to crawl in a hole, but still enough for her to feel uneasy about it.

Jungwoo was the first one to break the slightly uncomfortable situation, getting up from his stylist's chair and greeting her. ''Hey, Yerim! Thank you for coming.'' He thanked her, padding her shoulder.

''Thanks for the invite.'' She tried to sound excited, drowning out the nerves that were a result of the other members staring at her interaction with Jungwoo.

''Mark, why don't you introduce her to everyone?'' Johnny asked his younger brother, his infamous smirk plastered across his face. Blood rushed to Mark's cheeks, but he took a hold of Ming's arm and brought her to his American friend. ''Yer, this is Johnny.''

Johnny's smirk turned into a comforting smile as Mark introduced her to him. ''Nice to finally meet you, Yerim.''

''Likewise.'' Ming politely returned with a small bow of her head.

''Hyung is from Chicago!'' Mark told her, remembering she had a concert there for their tour. ''Oh, that's cool! We performed there this summer, the city was great.'' She beamed, having good memories of the tour stop.

''Oh yeah, Mark told me you went there! He actually never shuts up about yo-'' ''Okay, let's move on!'' Mark interrupted Johnny, quickly pulling Ming to the next members in sight.

''This is Taeil-hyung,'' the oldest member gave her a little wave which she reciprocated, ''and this our leader, Taeyong-hyung.''

''Thank you for coming to our concert, Ming-ssi.'' Taeyong reached out his hand for her, which she shook. His polite and gentle nature was a dead giveaway he was in charge of the group, he reminded her a bit of Cheol.

Ming smiled at him. ''Thank you for having me.''

Mark was content so far, Johnny almost ruined it for him, but he's happy that the rest are actually behaving in front of her. He didn't think they would listen to him.

He guided her further through the room. ''You've already met Doyoung-hyung and Haechan.'' The two members in question gave her an acknowledging nod, which she returned.

''And here's Jaehyun-hyung.''

Ming didn't have the best impression of the man sitting in the stylist's chair. He had gotten her in trouble multiple times by snitching on her to Mingyu and she didn't really know what to say to him.

The 97-liner bowed his head. ''Hello, how are you?'' He politely asked, looking at her through the mirror. ''I'm good and you?''

''Me too,'' he replied, ''hey, I just wanted to apologize if I did something wrong? Myungho texted me a few weeks ago and told me to stop gossiping to Mingyu about you. I didn't mean for you to get in trouble or anything.'' Now she felt bad for feeling apprehensive to talk to the guy, he was super sweet.

''Oh no,'' she shook her head and hands, ''please, you don't have to apologize! It's not that serious, really.'' Ming assured him, not wanting him to feel bad about the 'snitching'.

Jaehyun let out a relieved sigh, glad she didn't seem to be angry at him. ''Okay, great.''

''Guys, where's Yuta-hyung?''

The Japanese man wasn't present in the room, confusing Mark as he was still there before he went to get Ming.

''YUTA! MARK's GIRLFRIEND IS HERE!''

Johnny was about to continue his teasing, but quickly got shut up by both Taeyong and Doyoung. Meanwhile, Mark and Ming were so flustered they looked like tomatoes.

The man everyone was looking for walked into the room, completely shirtless. Mark immediately turned Ming around, not wanting her to see any of it. ''Hyung!''

''Oh, sorry!'' Yuta apologized, putting his stage blouse on as soon as he noticed the young woman next to Mark. Once he secured everything, he approached the two 99-liners.

''So, Kim Yerim … we meet at last.''

The serious look on his face, his crossed arms and use of her full name, caused chills down her spine and not the good kind.

''Yah! Yuta, be serious!'' Taeyong scolded the man, while the rest of the group tried to muffle their laughter.

The serious look on Yuta's face immediately turned into a big smile. ''I was just kidding, it's nice to finally meet you.'' He gave her a hug, which took her by surprise. Ming hesitantly put her arms around him, still in shock from a few moments prior. ''Nice to meet you too.''

''Yerim, you want to sit down?'' Doyoung asked, being reminded of Seungkwan's texts asking him to make sure she sat down as much as possible. Before she could decline, Doyoung stood up and motioned for her to take his place.

Ming thanked him and sat down on the couch, putting her purse on her lap. ''Yer, I'll be right back, I still have to change my clothes.'' Mark told her, crouching down before her.

She wasn't too fond of the idea of being alone with people she only met so many minutes ago. ''Okay.'' Mark smiled and got up.

She felt someone taking the space next to her, turning her head, she saw it was Doyoung, who was already fully ready for the concert. ''Hey, Yerim.''

''Hi''

''Soonyoungie said you went to the IU concert here in September, how was it?'' He asked her, striking up a conversation to make her feel more comfortable.

Ming started realizing some of the members probably had sent some messages to the NCT members about her attending the concert, so this either could go good or bad.

''Yeah, it was really good! I got to meet her as well after the show, it was so cool.'' She answered him, reminiscing about the IU concert.

Doyoung nodded along to her words, attentively listening to what she had to say. The space on the other side of her dipped and as she turned to see who it was, she saw Jungwoo holding his phone in front of him.

''She's here, Seungkwannie.''

Jungwoo held his phone in front of her and she was met with the one and only Boo Seungkwan who appeared on his phone screen. ''Ming Mingie! Did you arrive well?''

Ming could hear some of the staff and 127 members laughing at Seungkwan's words, she felt completely embarrassed.

''Yeah, I'm here.'' Her voice came out small, not wanting to draw much attention to the interaction with her member.

Seungkwan looked amused on the other side of the phone. ''Are they being nice to you?'' He continued asking, fully aware he was humiliating her.

''Yes, they're really nice.''

''Am I embarrassing you?''

''Yes.''

Seungkwan, as well as the 127 members, laughed at her reaction. Ming couldn't even look at the screen anymore, too embarrassed by Seungkwan.

''Ah, Yerim-ah! How is it there?'' Soonyoung appeared next to Seungkwan on the screen and Ming loudly sighed, much to everyone's amusement.

''Don't you guys have schedules?'' Even if the members weren't physically there, they made sure there was a way for them to be with her in some kind of way. Ming absolutely loved her members to death, but all she wants is one evening without them.

Seungkwan got the hint. ''I think she wants us to leave, hyung. Her brothers are embarrassing her in front of her boyfriend's friends.'' He couldn't help but throw in one last tease.

''Bye Seungkwan! Bye Tiger!''

Jungwoo hung up the phone, doing his best to hold in his laughter. ''He suddenly called me, asking how you were doing.'' He explained to her, standing up and going back to his stylist's chair.

''Hey, I'm back!'' Mark appeared in front of her again, wearing his white stage outfit. ''You, uh, want to go outside for a bit?'' It was obvious he wanted her alone for a moment, without any of his members staring or eavesdropping. ''Of course.''

''Behave yourself, Mark Lee!'' Johnny yelled out, right before Mark and Ming left the room.

''They weren't too much, I hope? They kinda toned it down from what they usually do.'' He hadn't heard what they had said to her when he was changing his clothes.

She shook her head. ''They were very sweet, Seungkwan-oppa called Jungwoo, so I was busy with that.'' Ming chuckled, sending a quick glance his way.

He led her to a more secluded area, away from the crew, camera's and most importantly, teasing members. ''Aaah~ that's good.''

''But seriously, thank you so much for coming here, I really appreciate it.'' Ming became almost emotional with how sincere and grateful Mark sounded. Ming momentarily rubbed his arm. ''You really don't have to thank me, Minhyung.''

''No, I do! The last time we spoke, it was… well you know,'' he stuttered, remembering Chenle's teasing at the Dream Show, ''and I was kinda scared that maybe you didn't wanna hang out with me anymore, so when you said agreed to come- I don't know, it just made me very happy, Yer.'' With the way he was speaking, it almost sounded like a confession.

Ming's cheeks colored red for the nth time that night. ''You're making me flustered, I don't know what to say.'' Her hands rubbed her cheeks, trying to cool them.

Mark took a step closer to her, once he noticed no one was around. ''Hey, uh, I have to go in a few minutes, but, uh, I was wondering if I, uh, well, if you maybe- you don't have to if you don't want to, I know we haven't seen each other in a while and, uh-''

''Minhyung-ah,'' Ming interrupted him, ''calm down, it's just me.'' Mark was a stuttering mess and as much as Ming loved him in a flustered state, she didn't want him to be this nervous in front of her.

He nodded, looking at the ground. ''In like one minute, they're gonna ask me to come down and I need a lot of luck tonight for the show, so if you don't mind would you be able to, uh, give me a good luck-'' ''Kim Yerim, is that really you?''

''Oh, for fuck's sake.'' Mark muttered as he was interrupted.

Ming looked behind the frustrated man and saw Taeyeon and Minho approaching them. She quickly bowed as they were senior artists. ''Hello, sunbaenims!'' She greeted them.

''They didn't tell me you were here! Oh, hi Mark.'' Taeyeon immediately went in for a hug, while briefly addressing the NCT member.

Minho stuck out his fist for a fist pump and she reciprocated, nervously laughing while doing. ''Mark, they want to take a picture with the entire group, we came to find you.'' He explained their sudden appearance.

While Minho and Mark were busy with each other, Taeyeon whispered in Ming's ear. ''I didn't know he was your boyfriend.'' A slight smirk attached to the sentence.

Ming quickly shook her head. ''No, no, we're just friends.''

''Friends don't look at each other like that.''

Taglist: @mystic-luv @cosmicwintr @mythicalamphitrite @billboard-singer @stopeatread @still-astray @sakuurra @multiplums @giverosespls @seongwhaffels @kimhyejin3108 @smoooore

#ming.svt #kpop oc #kpop au #kpop addition #14th member of seventeen #seventeen oc #seventeen 14th member au #seventeen 14th member #seventeen addition #seventeen au #mark lee x oc #mark x oc #seventeen extra member #seventeen added member #seventeen female oc #seventeen female added member #seventeen female addition #seventeen female member

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xiaoli-bh · 5 months

Text

ayoooo. it's yiska again and i'm bringing you the most princess coded girlie because i've been watching til the end of the moon and i'm in love with pianran and needed to make you fall in love with her too. hit that cute lil heart button if you want me to bother you for plotting (i also have discord for ease). as for her pages, i will be linking them and everything else will be under the cut! (ya'll pls ignore i don't have a wanted connections page again. we're going to ignore that as a group)

sᴛᴀᴛs / ʙɪᴏ / ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴs

brief mentions of poverty.

xiaoli grew up very poor. didn't have a home to sleep in and slept under the stars with her family and often went without food. her father and her older brothers did any physical labor they could find while her mother and grandmother used to make/weave garments of beautiful quality.

eventually this talent sees them being summoned by the noble houses of beonhwa to see the garments of unrivaled beauty and quality. the houses agree that they live up to the hype and offer the meng's shelter, supplies, and a formal title of house meng in exchange for making garments for them for celebrations and important occasions.

house meng is only a house in name and get none of the benefits of being an important family. the men still have to work physical jobs and there's no arranged marriage between the children of house meng and other houses. invites to celebrations and political events were never received. to say they felt a bit snubbed is an understatement but they also felt extremely grateful because how couldn't they???

but them being foreigners and "outsiders" was always made extremely clear and never forgotten.

xiaoli attended beonhwa academy and did well, graduating with great honors with an eye for artistry and science.

despite her mother and grandmother wanting her to take after their craft, she chose her own road and after begging for money to start her own business, she soon opened her own vendors stall, the golden flower. you can find elixirs, tonics, remedies, salve, balms, etc as well as very unique and exotic perfumes.

she keeps her recipes for everything a secret but also uses her connections to outside lands to procure ingredients that aren't native to beonhwa to make perfumes that no one else can!

xiaoli gets so wrapped up in making a name for herself that she alienates herself from her family and misses the death of her grandmother and mother and is too ashamed to come crawling back.

now she's basically doubled down and works herself to the bone to be successful because if she can't be the best than she lost her family for nothing, y'know?

i'm sure i'm forgetting something but it's 3am so whoops lmao.

wanted connections:

sis wants a husband by any means. she wants to belong to a family native to beonhwa, preferably a big house so she can feel like she belongs. doesn't have to be mutual. can be one sided, can be legitimate, or both can be using each other tbh! we love angst and pain in this house!

fellow vendors that she has a warm and friendly relationship. maybe they're a little group that look out for each other?

other "outsiders" that understand how xiaoli feels.

listen i love angst and issues and drama so i do love negative plots so if you want them, i'm so game.

someone who wants to steal her recipes to make money for themselves? or sabotage her?

an old flame that she broke it off with after her mom and grandmother died? she felt she needed to focus on business and not love and dumped them unceremoniously and now there's beef?

a fling xiaoli uses to distract herself from problems?

xiaoli flirts a little too much, with men and women and may have flirted or tried to seduce your muse's s/o just to prove she could. she has a bit of a complex but also loves love and intimacy and has poor boundaries when told someone is off limits (plotted only ofc!!)

your muse can't pinpoint why but something is off about xiaoli. her smiles seem empty and she seems a little too eager to belong. what's behind the facade?

or lets brainstorm!!!!

#bhrp:intro

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asmo-ds · 3 years

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Ok so you made a list on they guys toxic traits. How would they react if the MC just snaped one day and broke out into sob because of what they did and say to them and the MC calls them out on it pointed put how Diavolo doesn't do or say the shit they do and hes full blood demon unlike them all in a croaked voice from crying so hard

React to MC Calling Them Out on Their Toxicity

Obey Me Brothers x MC angst HCs

Warnings: Yelling, toxic relationships, breakdowns, violence, Mammon being the guardian he was assigned to be :)

Summary: When MC finally breaks down and calls them out on their toxic behavior towards the human the boys finally realize just how different human emotions are from the creatures in hell they’ve grown so accustomed to.

I’m putting the contents of the original post this ask referred to under each of the characters to make it clearer for those who have not seen it

i know Lucifer is hot sexy big sex dominant professional daddy master man BUT please remember he shows his love via punishment and cruelty towards his family

- Lucifer was in the middle of hanging a crying Mammon upside down when it happened.

- “He’s in pain Lucifer, you should let him down! There are better ways to handle this,” MC had suggested only to be met with a low growl followed by:

- “Stay out of this, human, you are here to attend RAD and nothing else. Do not butt into our personal business.”

- He could practically feel MC’s upset expression as he continued to tie the knots around Mammon’s body

- “I’m a human, correct,” MC starts and he’s startled by their cold voice, “but what makes me human is my inability to stand by while someone I know is in so much pain!”

- Lucifer is a bit taken back by their boldness and is in his demon form holding them up by the throat in seconds.

- “Who the Hell do you think you are?!” He snarled, tightening his grip and pushing their struggling body against the wall harshly, causing their head to bounce off the wall with a loud thump, blood slowly beginning to trickle from the sight of the impact

- He could barely hear Mammon’s frantic cries for him to let go of the human as his adrenaline rushed, unable to believe that the human had actually spoken to him like that,

- He was suddenly ripped away from MC, thrown across the room and he looked up to see Diavolo had come

- “I had some paperwork I wanted to give you but instead walked in on you taking advantage of your strength over someone smaller than you, you’re pathetic,” Diavolo snarled, disgusted by Lucifer’s actions

- MC wailed and threw themselves against Diavolo, him tightly embracing them and trying to soothe them

- “Y-y-you’re the Lord of Demons and yet,” they sniffled and hiccupped into Diavolo’s chest as he continued to glare at Lucifer, who could only watch on in despair as he realized what he had done, “and yet you a-are so mu-uch kinder than them, th-thank you Diavolo!”

- “Wait, MC! I’m sorry!” Lucifer began to stand before realizing Mammon had managed to escape and was now holding him down, preventing him form moving toward the trembling human.

- “Lucifer... I don’t want to see you ever again!” MC had cried as Diavolo and them left the house.

- After MC was brought to the demon lord’s castle he received word from Barbatos that he had been suspended from his duties until further notice per the request of Diavolo.

- Barbatos also collected MC’s stuff, moving it to the Demon Lord’s castle where they would spend the rest of the year

- Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to leave his room, afraid of his brothers’ judgmental looks, he refused to see how much he had hurt the family and the relationship with the human he’d done so much to care for in just a matter of thirty seconds.

- Lucifer never forgives himself for hurting MC, but he acts like he was in the right for the sake of his ego.

- But he really missed MC and was angry with himself for letting them go so easily and for not just accepting that maybe they were right and he could change for them

- Everyone notices a decrease in the cruelty he showed towards his brothers

- how did a human manage to stir up these feelings within him?

I know Mammon is an adorable tsundere with a chaotic streak BUT please remember he also insults MC in order to keep up his own self image of being a “tough demon” even if he loves MC underneath the mask

- Mammon had been on his way back from getting scolded for stealing from Lucifer’s wallet once again, when he ran into MC

- “Mammon! What’s wrong? Are you Okay?!” He hastily wiped the tears from his face, MC really cares about me... a blush rises to his cheeks at that thought

- “Nothin’ is wrong, mind yer business,” he shoves past them

- “but you’re clearly hurting, Mammon let me help!”

- “I don’t need help from a stupid human,” he says, not turning to look at them due to his still red cheeks as he continued to be flustered by their concern for him

- “Stupid human....” he heard MC say quietly back to themselves, his heart sinking as he realized he said it so harshly

- “Hold on-MC- I didn-” he starts but is frozen in shock as he sees the human glaring at the floor with tears streaming down their cheeks, biting their lips to keep sobs trapped inside themselves. “MC, hey liste-” He reaches out to touch their shoulder but they jerk away turning from him.

- “Not even the demon who is meant to be the cruelest of them all calls me names for wanting to help him,” their voice trembled and his heart broke, “I just wanted to help... why do you insist on insulting me?”

- MC ran away from him, leaving the house, passing Asmo and Satan as they left.

- Satan chased after MC as Asmodeus walked up to Mammon, slapping him across the face harshly, “why can’t you just be honest with them for once?! Don’t you realize how badly you’ve been hurting them because you refuse to be nice to stroke your own ‘bad boy’ ego?!”

- Mammon stared at the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks silently, “I-I didn’t mean to hurt them,”

- “But you did. Not to mention you never even apologize for it,” Asmodeus walks away, leaving Mammon to stand alone, shamefully hanging his head as he fell to his knees.

- The one person who ever cared about him and he did nothing but insult them and yet still expected them to love him? What a douchebag he was...

- Guess he was nothing but a greedy scumbag

i know Levi is a cute blushy otaku recluse that we all want to top BUT he also gets jealous very easily which leads to him often getting violent or guilt tripping MC by insulting himself until they feel guilty and stay with him to make him feel better despite their own wishes

- Leviathan had jus ordered a new game titled “I just landed in Hell, seven hot demon lords are my roommates and I’m trying really hard not to fuck them”

- He rushed towards MC’s room, desperate for them to play with him

- He walked in without knocking and saw MC cuddled up with Mammon and Beel, watching some movie that none of them seemed to actually pay attention to as they just horsed around.

- “Hey, MC! I just got a new game, come on let’s go play it!” he tried not to let his jealousy show.

- “Ah, maybe later Levi, I’m hanging out with Beel and Mammon right now!” MC smiles kindly, to which he grows a bit sad

- “I get it... who would want to hangout with a yucky otaku like me anyway...” he lowers his head pouting

- “Levi, just give me a few minutes to finish the movie!” MC says, still trying to be kind and patient

- “No you don’t have to... I’m just going to go play alone like the loser I am...”

- “DON’T” MC stands up, Beel and Mammon watching as MC walks up to Levi, thinking that the human was going to go with him and play

- Levi smiles thinking the same thing and gets ready to leave, but instead MC comes to him and glares at him, making his heart sink

- “You do NOT get to guilt trip me like that,” MC growls, “I told you I need a minute, I never said any of that stuff and I KNOW you were saying that stuff just to get me to come with you instead of staying here,” Levi blushes as MC calls him out, his heart beating rapidly with nerves as he realizes just how mad MC was at him

- MC pushes him out of their room, slamming the door and he hears them mumbling some angry stuff to the other two brothers behind the door

- Ashamed of himself he goes back to his room and locks himself there for a few weeks, kind of waiting for MC to come check on him and apologize, but then he realizes that is exactly why they are mad at him, so he decides to try and get his shit together

- But his anxiety gets in the way and he decides MC would be better off without him and he tries to avoid them no matter how much he craves their attention

i know Satan is an intelligent man who is trying his best to keep his anger in check at all times BUT if you are in a relationship where someone is getting mad at you constantly despite their efforts pls look out for yourself and let yourself be selfish and avoid the person no matter how bad it may hurt them because your own happiness should come first

- After a fight with Lucifer, Satan had gone to his room to blow off some steam

- He was storming around and throwing things and throwing a temper tantrum

- MC came to check on him and they knocked politely, calling his name and asking if they could come in

- Despite using their manners and being as respectful as possible; their interruption of his tantrum pissed him the hell off

- He swung the door open and pushed them down, eyeing them like a normal demon would; nothing but an innocent soul to munch on

- MC tried to escape but he caught their ankle, and dangled them like a rag doll as his claws sunk into the limb he held

- He could see their mouth moving and tears streaming down their face but he couldn’t process the words they were wailing

- He only stopped when Mammon punched him harshly, causing him to drop the human and go flying through the nearest wall, which happened to be Asmodeus’s, who was infuriated by the destruction of his room, but his focus immediately turned to Mammon and the trembling human he held

- Satan could barely hear or see much of anything anymore as Mammon’s punch had knocked him nearly out-cold

- Later when his senses came back he went to MC to apologize

- When he walked in they screamed and cowered in the corner.

- “MC, I won’t hurt you I promise-”

- “You always say that! You promised to never hurt me, Satan! All I wanted was to see if you wanted anything to help you calm down but you decided that was reason enough to try and eat my soul. For fuck’s sake, Diavolo is the Demon Lord and he isn’t half as cruel and manipulative as you are!” He watched the human tremble and cry their response out

- The loud noises had once again caught the attention of the humans guardian for their time in the Devildom

- Mammon walked in and grabbed Satan by the collar, dragging him out the door and slamming it behind him

- Satan sat against the wall and could hear how much pain MC was in as they cried to Mammon and he wanted nothing more than to run in there and take his place but he knew he had royally fucked up

- Scared of his own anger, he decided to not leave his room unless he was attending RAD, family meals, or the Library, because he was so afraid of making the human he had loved afraid and he didn’t want them to feel so much pain just by seeing him

i know Asmodeus is a cute feminine boy with a love for self care and pampering and fashion BUT he always be littles others for not being as good or pretty as him and is super gossipy

- MC had come to school after a sleepover with Asmo, where things got deep and emotional and MC’s most shameful secret was revealed to him

- and he said he wouldn’t tell anybody. he really wasn’t going to but...

- MC noticed the weird stares followed by giggles of the succubi at RAD, clearly whispering about MC which made their stomach feel sick

- MC wasn’t sure what the deal was today until a succubus came up to them at lunch,

- “hey human, i heard that *insert your most humiliating memory*” she snickers with her friends, watching mc turn pale

- Unable to form words MC bolted out of there

- Unluckily for Asmodeus, MC just do happened to run into him

- “Ah! MC, dear, be careful or you and I will both ends up bruised-“ he’s cut off by a slapping sound

- he’s in so much shock he doesn’t even realize MC had slapped him for a few seconds

- “I should’ve known better than to trust you with my secrets.” MC growled, turning around to storm off, “Guess I forgot you were a demon. No, demons are like Diavolo, they at least have some itty bit of kindness in their hearts. You. You’re a monster.”

- Asmo watched them storm off and felt tears come to his eyes

- They were right, for once he had someone who loved him for more than power, looks, and sex, and what did he do? He hurt them and destroyed their reputation.

- He eventually fell off of his skincare routine and stopped coming home every night, instead, he was too busy partying and passing out in strangers’ beds and being glad the demons and succubi who dances with him and slept with him didn’t care for his personality

- cuz he knew his personality was the one part of him that was ugly as hell and he hated it

i know Beelzebub is a gentle giant who cares for his entire family BUT he also throws tantrums that hurt people when he gets hungry and isn’t given food asap

- After his sports practice, he was starving and on edge

- He hungrily eyed a strangers’ meal as he and MC walked home from the campus

- “Beel, don’t even think about stealing that poor demon’s food,” MC scolded him, unknowingly lighting a fuse inside of him

- He shifted to his demon form and grabbed MC by the shoulders harshly

- “Well what else am I supposed to eat?! Do you want me to eat you?!” He shook them, making them whimper out in pain as his claws dug into their flesh

- “B-Beel, you’re hurting me!” MC cried out, but he was too hungry to care and leaned in, about to take a bite out of the poor human before he felt himself get pulled away and pin against the ground

- “Beelzebub, just what in the Devildom do you think you’re doing?” Lucifer’s chilling voice snarled at his younger brother, a crowd forming to watch the two demon lords fight

- “I’m HUNGRY!” Beelzebub went to strike Lucifer, but instead, MC being MC, grabbed his arm to try and stop him, causing him to fling them against the wall, them hitting it with a loud cracking sound, blood pouring out from the back of their head as they rubbed it

- Seeing them bleed made him more hungry but then he saw the look of despair and disappointment that he had seen on his younger sister so many years ago and he snapped out of it

- “MC!” Lucifer rushed to the human’s side, picking them up gently and giving Beel one last cold look before flying off quickly to the Demon Lord’s castle, where Barbatos would be able to heal MC

- Beelzebub felt his hunger dissipate, instead, the guilt eating away at him as the sight of MC’s despair filled eyes flashed through his head

- When MC returned later that night he went to apologize when he heard them in the kitchen

- “MC,” they flinched and whipped around, immediately using one hand to grip their head as dizziness struck them for a moment, the other hand out in front of them in a defensive manner

- Beel’s heart broke and he felt tears starting to form as he started to approach them, intending to hug them comfortingly

- “STAY RIGHT THERE!” MC yelled, their pact forcing his feet to stay planted where they were

- “Y-you don’t have to apologize okay? I should have known better than to scold a monster,” he winced at the word but let them continue, “But that said it isn’t entirely my fault. Every other demon in that plaza could smell me and didn’t pounce me, they had better control than that. Even when I go out alone nobody attacks me! Hell, even the Demon Lord himself isn’t cruel enough to attack me I-I just, please, stay away from me Beel,” and when they looked up he had tears streaming down his face and he was biting his lips to keep from crying

- As badly as they wanted to comfort the crying boy, they knew that they would be putting their own safety at risk if they were to forgive him and make him think he would be so easily forgiven

- Beelzebub suddenly started to stop feeling hungry as every time his stomach growled all he could see was the image of himself about to bite into MC and he would start to feel sick to his stomach

- He doesn’t forgive himself and gets really depressed because he thinks MC’s pain is his fault just like Lilith’s death

i know Belphegor is a sleepy baby with a love for pranks and mischief BUT he literally killed MC but as soon as he found out they were a descendant of his little sister he suddenly just flipped a switch and didn’t even really apologize

- MC was sleeping in the attic next to Belphegor, tossing and turning as a nightmare filled their head

- They could practically feel his claws wrapped around their frail neck snapping it and laughing as they faded from their body

- MC sat up panting and screaming, Belphegor waking up and rubbing his eyes sleepily as he wrapped his arms around MC

- “NO NO NO GET OFF OF ME STOP IT” they continued to scream, flailing around in his embrace, he refused to let go though, convinced they just needed a hug to comfort them from whatever had scared them so bad

- They began to sob hysterically, their voice screaming out for Mammon

- Panicking he continued to hold them in place, afraid if he let go they’d sprint off

- and he was right, they bit his arm and he pulled away as they stood up and sprinted down the hall

- “MC WAIT” he chased after them, worried they’d get hurt

- As they saw the door of their guardian (Mammon), they called out his name

- Belphegor placed a hand over their mouth, worried about the others waking up, but it was too late as Mammon and Satan had both been woken by the cries of the human

- “HELP ME MAMMON PLEASE” MC sobbed, Belphegor sending a panicked and hurt look to his brothers

- Mammon pushed Belphie away as he took MC back into his room to calm them down

- After a mini-argument with Satan that ended up getting shut down by Lucifer, he went back to bed

- The next morning he saw MC was sitting at the breakfast table and he smiled at them, only to watch them shoot a look to Mammon, who then pulled their chair closer to his own protectively

- They all ate in silence, the awkward and tense atmosphere keeping anybody from starting a conversation

- After everyone else left he went up to MC and cornered them, covering their mouth to keep them quiet so he could say what he needed to

- “I already apologized for everything so why do you still need to freak out whenever you see me?!” he asked, annoyed that despite his apology for killing MC, they still felt uncomfortable around him

- They slapped his hand away, “You didn’t really apologize. You only apologized because I’m a descendant of your dead sister, you didn’t apologize to me, MC, you apologized to Lilith,” MC shoves him and starts to walk away from the stunned demon

- “Its kind of funny that despite all the problems I’ve caused for his program, Diavolo has never tried to kill me.” MC says before finally making their exit

- Belphegor gets lost in his own thoughts after that, as he finally realized that he had been seeing them as a replacement Lilith rather than themselves

- even if he wanted to try apologizing again, he was unable to as Mammon became more and more protective of them, shooing Belphie away with dirty looks anytime they were in the same room

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safespacespence · 2 years

Text

some, and now none of you

this was based on a request by the lovely @pretty-boys-book-club [summary] you and spencer haven’t been the same since he came clean that jj confessed her love to him. you’re both drifting from each other and your thoughts are in a constant state of tug of war. can you get back to each other? [pairing] spencer reid + female reader [warnings] mentions of cheating ish, sad relationship stuff, pls let me know if i missed anything [category] angst and an itty bitty tiny bit of fluff (semi-happy ending) [word count] 1.3k [a/n] thank you cat for giving me such good prompts and for being such a good friend <3 as usual, written as a word vomit type of fanfic—when isn’t my work just word vomit, tbh? if i had the brainpower to edit and develop i’d probably make this longer so i apologize heh. anyways if you’re still reading thank you for your support and love!! also, @writer-in-theory i had just read your post, and i love you. thank you.

inspired by the line: i had all and then most of you, some, and now none of you. take me back to the night we met

“she said that she’s always loved me.”

his words echoed in your head and was etched into your brain.

she’s always loved him.

you shifted onto your side, and curled up into fetal position, hugging your knees. spencer shifted where he sat, and you felt the dip of the mattress change. you started biting the inside of your cheek.

“please, say something.” his voice broke. you could feel his eyes watching your back rise and fall erratically as your breathing started shaking.

you turned your body to face him, but you refused to look at his face. you could see his hands scrambling to find something to hang onto—he was rubbing the sides of his pants, feeling the sheets of the bed. anything to keep him busy.

“and what did you say?” your voice was shaky.

“i don’t love her anymore. you know that, right?” he tried to find my eyes. “i love you, and you only.”

you heard small footsteps come in the room. “mama i need help!!” you heard a little voice.

you sat up quickly. “hi baby, mama will be there in a minute, okay? just talking to dad for a bit.”

your daughter looked at you with her wide eyes, and looked at her dad. “dada why is mama crying?”

spencer’s eyes met yours for the first time that evening.

you felt your heart throb. his eyes were the same—they looked the same as the first time you saw them.

he looked back at his little girl. “mama will be right there, okay sweetie?”

“okay dada!” she smiled and walked out the door, probably forgetting what she asked.

spencer looked at you again. he broke just by seeing your face. your face had fallen and your eyes were so, so tired. your eyes were glittering with tears. he thought about how beautiful you looked even when you were sad.

“we have a family, spencer. and you tell me the woman that you’ve been in love with for years finally tells you she loves you. what am i supposed to do with that?”

“i-i don’t know. i just didn’t think it was fair if i kept that from you.”

he tried to move closer towards you. to do anything to hold you, and keep you warm as cold words hung in the air. his hands inched closer to yours, but your shaking hands moved farther from him. you wanted him to hold you too; you wanted nothing more than to forget about all of this, to hug each other until you both fell asleep.

“if you want a divorce, then the ball is in your court. but i love our daughter more than anything, and i will not have her in two different houses unless that’s what you intend. i’m done talking about this.”

you stood up and walked out the bedroom to attend to your daughter, and you could hear the sound of spencer’s abnormal breathing.

you and spencer still slept on the same bed. but your back was always turned towards him. you wouldn’t try to stay up and wait for him to come home from cases anymore. you were slowly detaching, and it didn’t seem like he was trying to get you back.

it felt even worse when your daughter would climb into bed, and you felt the need to put things aside so she could have both of her parents’ arms around her. it was during those nights when you’d finally feel his touch for what felt like the first time. and in the split second where you felt his warmth, forgiveness nearly slipped from your lips.

he had nothing to apologize for, either. that’s what made things more upsetting. there wasn’t any direct solution to what you were both feeling. he knew you needed space right now. but for how long? even you didn’t know.

you missed him more than anything. you missed what you both were before all of this. kisses snuck while your daughter was turned around. his hand around your waist even when he needed both hands to do whatever he needed to do. reading to him before bed. feeling his curls against your shoulder as he pushed his head into the crook of your neck. his small kisses left on your knuckles when he bothered you. the warm, tight hugs when he finally came home from a case. the long, late night talks catching up.

you missed him. more than anything.

after two weeks of this push and pull, he started to come home later. you knew he was stalling coming home, bracing himself for the cold he’d feel around you. you couldn’t help but think about what he was doing.

he was definitely happier with the team.

was he happier with jj?

your thoughts would eat you inside out. you were left at home at night to cuddle your daughter to sleep, and your thoughts trailed to him and jj. she’s always loved him. jj was always kind to you. she loved your daughter like her own. was it because she loved spencer?

no. this isn’t her fault.

but you needed his reassurance. you needed his words.

he rambled so much, and yet there were no words he could give you.

no words would suffice, either.

“hi, i’m home.” his voice was gentle, like footsteps treading lightly.

“hi.” you said. you focused on the glass of wine in your hand and your paperback open in front of you. “she’s asleep. she misses you.”

he put his go bag down and poured himself a glass.

you took a breath. “i’ve done a lot of thinking.” you said.

“oh?” you heard him put his wine glass down and he made his way over to you.

he hovered over the couch, silently asking if he could sit down.

you found his eyes. his face trembled when he realised you were looking at him, and his lips formed a small smile.

he sat down and you felt the tension of his body.

without thinking, your hands snaked into his. you heard an exhale so relieving for him that you couldn’t help but chuckle quietly. a small smile was on your face.

“what’ve you been thinking about?” he asked, his hands playing with your fingers.

“i miss you. but i can’t not think about you with jj.” you focused on how his hand felt on yours. you thought you forgot what it felt like.

“do you know where i go on nights i get home late?” he looked at you. he wasn’t mad, but he was firm.

you shook your head. you didn’t want him knowing your guesses, your unhealthy thoughts.

“reading those idiotic relationship help books. looking at our photos. listening to music we listened to when we started dating. talking to penelope. asking emily for time off. doing anything, finding anything to make us better. make this better.”

you wanted to cry. you wanted to slap him. you wanted to kiss him. you wanted to shake his shoulders. you wanted to scream. you wanted to be in his arms.

you wanted him.

you wanted to do anything as long as he was still within your arms reach.

“i love you.” you blurted out. your body tensed up, unfamiliar from the phrase after so long. you looked everywhere but at him.

his hand gently held your chin and he tilted your head up to meet his eyes. his eyes were glistening with tears, but it was of comfort. neither of you had heard those words in so long.

“i love you, too.” he bit his cheek, holding back his tears. “i will always, always be yours. i’ve missed you. so much.”

you didn’t need to say anything else. he knew.

your tears started flowing and he pulled you into his arms with such power. tension melted away from both of your bodies. finally in each other’s arms.

“i will do anything for this to be better. i’m so, so, sorry.” he whispered into your hair.

there was a lot of work to be done. you knew that.

but you finally had each other again. you could finally be with him like it was you two again for the first time.

like the night you met.

read more of my work read my favorite works send me prompts or suggestions join my taglist

TAGLIST: @sinnxagain @literaila @sheiselegance

#spencer reid #fanfiction #athena has written #Spotify #angst rar #angst #criminal minds #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer reid x you

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izayanna · 3 years

Text

Flowers are indeed beautiful when painted with blood

---------------------------------------

Warnings ; angst?? Mentions of blood,sickness,hanahaki disease, not proofread

Characters : Childe x gn! Reader, Keqing (lol)

A/n : Hi! Its my first time making a fic of my favorite character, and i dont know why but I have this urge to create a fic because Im shy in making requests to my favorite authors!! Also pls ignore the mistakes, this is my first time writing so hoping its good? Also i dont know what title should i put so uhhh hehe

-------------------------------------------------------

"This is ridiculous"

you said as you stare in the mirror. Tears staining your face, blood and petals all over the bathroom.

"Why is this happening to me"

You grip on your chest tighter as the pain started to grow even worse

"How can I be so dumb"

You knew you were suffering from hanahaki disease. You thought it was just a myth or a foe, but really, you didn't expect yourself to suffer from such a disease. You tried to hold back your tears as the pain keeps on growing

Is this my fault?

Is this what I get in return?

You sat on the bathroom floor and breathed slowly

Is this finally it?

As you closed your eyes you suddenly remember him, your bestfriend, your comrade, your loved one

Ajax...

Ajax, Tartaglia, Childe or whatever you may call him is your bestfriend. He was the first friend you made when you first moved into Liyue. You were minding your own business as you were walking in the streets, walking around exploring the city When suddenly a ginger-haired man bumped into you

"Oh sorry! Didn't see you there"

You were about to say something but as you looked up, He flashed a kind, genuine smile. A smile that you never knew would leave a mark in your head. He let out his hand to help you stand up and you both exchange names

You were indeed starstruck at the ginger-haired, goofy looking man, Eyes that reminded you of the deep ocean blue You were snapped back to reality when he waved a hand infront of you

"Hello? Is there something wrong?"

"N-nothing, I was just thinking about.."

You looked around and saw a restaurant, you invited him to eat lunch with you and he gladly accepted your invitation.

That's where the both of you started to get closer, to everyday hang-outs and nightwalks. To barging into one's house in the middle of the night for some reason, Bringing you to Snezhnaya to meet his family as to where as Teucer took an interest to you and calls you Big Sis. Everything was okay, everything was fine

Until she came...

As you and Ajax were walking by the beach, talking about each other's day, enjoying each other's company

"Hey (name),What do you think of (someone's name)?"

You stopped at your tracks with eyes widened but you turned to face him and gave him a smile

"Well she's alright I guess?"

"She's strong" you're not

"Really pretty" you're not

"And brave" you're not

Childe smiled "really?" And you nodded "Well, I've been thinking of asking her out" And there it was, your heart shattered into pieces and on the verge of crying. But you forced yourself to give Childe a smile "Really? Do you think she would go out with a flirt like you?" You playfully teased him and both of you laughed

As days passed by, Childe spent less time with you and more with her. He would sometimes come to you for advices and help in order to capture her heart and you stupidly helped him

But I was here first you're not strong

I spent more time with you you're not worth it

I was there when you needed help he doesnt care

And here you are now, in the bathroom coughing up petals and blood. Payed no attention as to what is happening outside. You can't even breathe nor talk or walk properly without shaking

You're weak that's why he doesnt want you

You started crying and laughing because you were dumb enough to fall someone who wont even love you back

Childe was aware as to why he hasn't seen you in days. He even asked the fatui or anyone around if they have seen you but all he got was nothing. The girl did confess to him but shockingly, he rejected her (childe playboy/j) because of the feeling of you not around did hurt him

Was he, inlove with you? He thought

"Big Brother! Is Big Sis okay? I miss her so much and I really want to play with her again" Teucer tugged at Childe's coat as to which Childe bent down at his level "Just hold on Teucer okay? Big Brother is going to find Big Sis for you" Childe stood up and told Lumine to assist Teucer for a while

He did go to your house but he was told that you weren't there, So where were you?

You stared at the ceiling with tired and puffy eyes, you can't handle it anymore. "(Name)? Are you done yet? I'm starting to worry here" you heard a knock on the door and slowly you stood up and reached for the door. "Yeah, all good here Keqing" Keqing was your bestfriend, she was the one who told you to move in Liyue because she missed you, and you did too

"My gosh, (Name) you're bleeding!" She said as she quickly wrapped your arm around her and checked the bathroom "what on earth happened here? Wait...don't tell me" She quickly assisted you to the bed and knelt infront of you "(Name), you're suffering from hanahanaki...why didn't you tell me?" She started to tear up but you gave her a smile

"Don't worry Keqing, everything's going to be alright"

"NO! YOU HAVE TO BE CURED ASAP!! (Name) please..."

You looked at her carefully as she held your hands crying.

"But if I get cured, then doesn't that mean I'll never get to feel love again?" And forget about him

"You'll die if you won't get cured"

You started to cough again but this time, even worse. Keqing started to panic and called for help, Your breathing started to become slower as you passed out

I don't know what love is

Its been a year since Childe had last seen you, the thought of you who suddenly went missing won't get off of his mind

Where are you? Why are you still missing? Did I do something wrong?

As he was walking with clouded thoughts, you passed by him laughing along with some person. He quickly turned around and eyes widened, He was out of control when he suddenly grabbed your hand

"(Name)?"

You turned to see a tall ginger - haired man as he was grabbing your wrist

"E-excuse me, have we met before...?"

He was shocked at your response, He thought you were joking as he continued to ask you questions

"I'm sorry but I don't remember being with you...if you could excuse me, I still have some other matters to attend to"

You freed yourself from his grip and walked back to your friend, apologizing for the wait

He was confused, no, he was angry? Sad? Dissapointed? Because how could you forget about him? How could you just disappear on him and suddenly appear without saying anything Why did you forget about him? How could you be so selfish

You were still confused as to why that man had stopped you, but who knows because all you remembered was suffering from something and woke up as if it was just a dream

But that man did felt familiar to you, you did feel something...but what was it? Because you don't remember this feeling at all

#childe x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin tartagalia #genshin impact childe #childe #childe x you #genshin imagines #hanahaki #tartaglia #tartagalia x reader #tartagalicious

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spacebarnes · 3 years

Text

favorite crime ✧ t.holland

summary: all the things you did for this relationship, you were really hoping that you were his favorite crime.

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, a little bit of crying, Harrison being the best lad ever, leaving Tessa.

a/n: oh god this song hit in the wrong places but anyways, this not have a lot of conversations and it's short but painful so yeah, hope you like it! request are open, also english it's not my first language so i'm so sorry about any mistake. take care of yourself pls <3 (not my gif)

You took a big breath of air and stood on your tiptoes to reach for the purple suitcase on top of the closet. It was already decided, today you would leave.

The house was beginning to feel empty. Some of your pants were still in the drawers, waiting to be put away. But, your favorite mugs along with your shoes were already packed in another suitcase in the living room.

"You'll be right here when i get back, right?"

"Of course, Tommy."

Bullshit.

Those were the last words you shared with your "boyfriend" in the morning and the last words you would share for a long time. You ached for those two sentences, because you knew that somehow you would always wait for him no matter what.

Memories began to flood your mind as you opened a drawer and Tom's scent wafted into the air for a few moments. It was going to be hard to get used to a new smell.

Your relationship had probably started in the worst way; you and Tom met in a bar, the night fell and you fell into his bed only to find out later that he had a girlfriend and you were the "other".

At some point this wasn't sitting right with you, it wasn't just casual sex anymore, the two of you were falling in love without thinking about what might happen in the future and that was just fucked up.

He finally broke up with her, that meant he was all yours. Although, your heart was broken when you found out that the Spider-Man filming was over and he had to go back to London with his family.

The two of you agreed to have a long distance relationship, and so it was, for five months the only thing that kept you close to him was a screen and video calls at three in the morning because of the time difference.

Until you came up with the idea of buying an apartment in London and surprising him. Probably the best and worst idea of your whole life, but you were living your love story, who cares?

You met his family and friends some time later. At this point you knew it was serious and you knew what you were getting into.

Then came the move, and finally you could share a bed with him for the rest of your days.

Or that's what you thought.

Thursday last week, 4 am. Your need to make pee woke you from your sleep and so you had to leave the bed to head to the bathroom as quickly as possible.

Tom's cell phone was "charging" in the bathroom socket, although it really was plugged in wrong and didn't even have 2%.

Nothing bad was going to happen if you checked it, right? You knew it was wrong, but Tom's indifference these past few weeks told you to do it.

Tears started to fall in the sink when some messages with "Samantha" didn't look like friends, but something else.

It took you a week to process whether you should stay and deal with it, or if you should just run away and pretend this never happened and start over in another country.

And the latter option was the one that caught your attention the most.

You plopped down on the couch, taking a second to watch as the house looked lifeless and the two suitcases in front of you were packed.

You started crying again, you still couldn't believe that your fairy tale had ended right here. And just as it started, with a cheating relationship.

Tessa came up to you as soon as she heard your sobs and started licking your face to wipe away your tears, having no idea what was going on.

"Oh Tess, i'm sure that you are the only one who's gonna miss me." you ran your hand and over her head and pushed her a little so you could get up and put water and kibble on her plates.

The doorbell rang a few minutes later and you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come. You opened it and found Harrison, who pursed his lips into a line when he saw you.

"I'm gonna lock the doors and leave Tessa outside, 'm right back." you told him and he just nodded, giving a quick glance around the house, noticing the sadness overflowing from the walls. You really were the joy of the place.

When you returned your things were gone and Harrison was waiting for you in the car, so you assumed he had already taken them up.

The drive was silent, only the faint melody of the radio could be heard. And somehow you were glad it was like that.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" he asked as he lowered the last suitcase from the back seat.

"Yeah. I mean, I don't belong to London and I have nothing to do here. He's got a new girl and I'm sure he'll be fine." you replied with a bittersweet smile.

"What about you? You're gonna be fine?" his question really got you thinking, you'll be fine without Tom? Sure he'll be fine without you, but what about you?

"I guess I'll find out eventually," you grimaced and nodded, then checked the time on the watch on your left hand. "Thank you for bringing me here, and for everything, i guess."

"It's nothing, what you deserve." he shrugged his shoulders and moved closer to you so he could hug you, resting his chin on your head.

"I hope when you see the chain you are now wearing you will remember me." you broke off and played with the chain hanging from his neck, for you had given it to him on his birthday.

"I will, i promise." he said between a little laugh and the atmosphere was silent for a moment.

"Come on, Haz. Give me another hug." you moved closer again and when your head made contact with his chest you felt your eyes get wet again.

"Don't cry because i'm gonna cry, dumbass." he said as he felt his shirt get a little wet and tears began to fill his eyes.

"Goodbye." you sighed and picked up your suitcases to start carrying them to the entrance.

"Have a good flight." was the last thing he said before he opened the car door so he could get in and drive home.

The flight was leaving in an hour and a half but you had to be there earlier to check in and you had already done that, so there was nothing left to do but wait for the call.

You turned on your phone and your wallpaper caught you, realizing you hadn't changed it yet. It was a picture where you and Tom were sitting on the grass, away from everyone and in your faces you could see the happiness, at what point did it vanish?

Time passed quickly and when you remembered you were already climbing the stairs to get on the plane, until you felt your phone vibrate and you knew instantly who it was.

Tom's name next to a heart lit up your screen, and you stepped out of line to think if you were really doing the right thing and not overreacting.

"It's everything okay, miss?" the flight attendant asked when she noticed you stopped moving forward and you were practically the last one left to board the plane.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." you apologized and turned off your cell phone to enter the plane, accepting your fate, without turning back.

"Welcome to flight 230, London to Canada."

When the plane took off, you were hoping that you were his favorite crime.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #oneshot #tom holland angst #tom holland x you #peter parker #tom holland smut #peter parker smut

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buckystarlight · 3 years

Text

A Blessing, Beautiful And True

pairing: bucky x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

warnings: use of she/her pronouns; swearing if you squint; mentions of death; mentions of food

a/n: this is a rewrite of one of my old fics that i absolutely hated with my entire being. i hate this a little bit less djaksjsjs also pls ignore how i literally cannot write a good ending to save my life.

dedicated to @xsamsharons for lending me her name. i hope i did it justice mi amor ily <3

Bucky learnt to value things.

Not the great, terribly material things people around him seemed to rush after. Not money, not even when he was barely getting by.

No, for Bucky, it was the small, seemingly insignificant things.

The tiny toy WWII soldier figurine he found at a yard sale one Tuesday afternoon, the one with the missing arm. The near-exact model of the car his father used to drive—rusted around the tiny steel axel, the rubber wheels worn from use. That yellow screwdriver set that sat at the very back of the tool cabinet in the garage, unusable because of the cracked plastic handles and rusted steel, that looked exactly like the kit he had once used to fix up the plumbing in his first apartment.

Bucky was used to valuing the broken little things.

He never truly understood what loving something whole, something complete felt like—not until he met you.

You, in your white sweater and blue jeans, hair tossed up in a braid. You, your eyes that dancing with unbroken light, like the rays of the sun on the ocean on a bright summer’s day. You, with the sort of kindness he never truly thought he would ever be worthy of, not until you showed him that he was.

You, the girl he fell in love with before he could ever truly know what love was.

Steve might’ve been the first to notice. He was with him that day, the day he first saw you. They had been hunting for a Christmas present for Tony, and even though Bucky wasn’t exactly thrilled to have to attend, he wasn’t about to show up empty handed.

Steve didn’t even realize that the sly-footed assassin wasn’t by his side until he had walked the two blocks from the mall to his car. Hands ghosting over the gun tucked into the holster hooked into his waistband, Steve retraced his steps, his heart thundering in his throat.

Until he heard Bucky’s laugh.

Not the obviously fake chuckles he used to placate those around him. No, this was the laugh he remembered, the laugh he thought Bucky had lost.

This was Bucky’s laugh—his Bucky’s laugh, before the world stole him away. Pure and innocent.

Happy—so undeniably, inexplicably happy.

The tension eased from his shoulders when he saw you. Steve knew who you were, of course. Everyone did—or at least, everyone who had been around after the Battle of New York. Everyone who had seen you walk among the rubble, bleeding through your jeans, helping dig survivors out of the rubble, guiding them to shelters. Everyone who had seen you do everything you could help those who needed it more than you did, until your legs finally gave way and the only reason you didn’t collapse to the floor was because Steve caught you.

But Steve also happened to know why you’d done it. Because you were kind. Because you were selfless. Because you knew what it was like to lose everyone you loved, and to garner the strength to build yourself up anyway.

You’d lost people too—everyone you loved, killed during the Battle. Your family. Your friends. It might’ve seemed cruel to be spared. Might’ve seemed like a cold, dark twist of fate—and for a time, it did.

Steve had never known anyone to be resilient the way you were.

And maybe, just maybe, he thought to himself, as he watched his friend from through the glass, maybe you would teach him to hold on to the tiniest sliver of hope too.

—

Bucky didn’t even like books.

The only book he’d read—aside from the coursework assigned to him in his school days—was The Hobbit. And even that had taken him an ungodly amount of time to finish.

So yeah, Bucky didn’t exactly like books.

But he still visited the tiny bookstore on the corner every day.

He didn’t even buy anything. He just looked around, running his fingertips over the spines of the books that jutted out of the wooden shelves, the sunlight turning his eyes into uncharted waters of the oceans, swimming with undiscovered secrets and untold lies.

You would talk to him. All the time, and with no trace of the usual pity or sympathy that he heard when he spoke to people. You talked to him in a way that made him feel like himself, in a way that made him feel like he just might rediscover the man he used to be.

That first time he’d seen you was burned into the back of his brain, the image of you standing there with a hip braced against a bookshelf, dressed in a white sweater and jeans, your hair pulled into a braid over your shoulder. He had watched as a strand escaped, falling into your face.

And him—he'd stood there, watching you talk to another woman he couldn't recall because really, how could he look at anything else but you? Bucky was certain he looked like a gaping idiot, both wanting your attention to turn to him, and dreading the fact that he would surely make a fool of himself if you so much as looked at him.

Back in the 40s, things would've been so much easier. He would already have said something witty to make you laugh, he would already have been telling you about the carnival down at the beach and asking if you wanted to go with him.

But when your friend left, and you asked him if there was anything you could help him with, his voice sounded strange to his own ears as he croaked, "Books?"

You had laughed—and he found himself laughing along. A true laugh—for the first time in a long time, the sound didn’t sound fake to his own ears. For the first time in a long time, he felt like himself.

Bucky had taught himself to value that which wasn’t whole—because he wasn’t, either. Love was give and take. Love was equal.

If he was to deserve your love, he would have to be whole again. If he was to deserve your love, he would make himself whole again.

—

There was a sudden shift in the way Bucky viewed the world.

It had been three days since he last saw you, but he walked in through those doors anyway. He had no cause, no reason—he just couldn’t go any longer without seeing you.

You were sitting by the bay window at the very back, reading a book. He took a second just to take you in, to get used to the fact that you weren’t just a figment of his imagination.

The second you looked up, your face split into a grin, like you were truly, genuinely happy to see him. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had smiled at him that way. “Hey, you’re back! It’s Bucky, right?”

He nodded. He couldn't trust himself to speak, not when he was sure he would stumble over his words, not when he couldn't bring himself to string together a coherent sentence in your presence.

"What can I help you with today?" you asked, snapping your book shut and placing it on the table.

"Uh... What're you reading?"

You glanced down at your book before looking up to meet his eyes again. Blue, you thought, supressing a smile. Icy blue, but warm nonetheless—familiar in the way most things aren’t. "Wuthering Heights. You've never read it?"

He shook his head no. "Never been much of a reader, no. Is it any good?"

"It's one of my favourites," was your answer, watching as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The light caught the steel of the chain around his neck—the chain of one of those military-issue dog tags.

And maybe that was how it started—on that dreary cold Wednesday, when you'd stood next to the bookshelf by the window, telling him about your favourite book, but really all he could focus on was the late afternoon sun rendering the hue of your eyes several shades lighter, the soft slope of your nose, the fullness of your mouth. Every little detail about you was etched permanently into his mind—and he wanted to learn more.

He wanted to know everything there was to know about you.

It was about closing time when he decided he had to go. Not because he wanted to, but because he had promised he would have dinner with Sam and Steve. And as much as Bucky wanted to stay, he was a man of his word.

Which is why when he promised you he would come see you as soon as he finished reading the book, you knew he meant it.

—

And you were right.

Two days later, he was back.

It was raining that day, early in the morning when you were just about to open up. And there, standing under the awning in the freezing rain, was Bucky, the collar of his coat turned up against the wind, drenched to the bone.

"What're you doing here?" you asked, eyes wide.

"I just... I don't know," he said. Because he didn't. Bucky didn't even like books—but he did like being around you. There was a strange sort of calm about you, a sense of peace he'd only known in Wakanda. Around you, he was just Bucky—not Sargent Barnes, not the Winter Soldier—just Bucky.

He liked being just Bucky.

You shook your head, but he could've sworn he saw the corner of your mouth tilt upwards as you fished your keys out of your pocket and unlocked the door. "Well, come on inside. I'll turn up the heat and get you something warm to drink. Christ, Buck, you could get pneumonia or something.”

He only nodded once. It didn't matter that he wouldn't get sick—not when the serum in his veins healed his body faster than normal. It didn’t matter that even if he could sick, he wouldn’t have cared, not when you were looking at him like that, with concern in your eyes for something other than your own safety.

You had a coffee machine in the back room, you told him. He followed you, lingering in the doorway as you bustled about, humming a tune under your breath. He recognized it as a song from that one Marvin Gaye album Sam couldn’t stop talking about. He recognized it as a song he wanted to listen to for the rest of his life, if only you were the one singing it.

He recognized that, for better or for worse, you would be his undoing.

—

After that, he came to see you every day.

When the weather got colder still, he brought you steaming cups of hot chocolate from your friend Bella’s café down the street. And on the days when he didn’t, he would head into the back room and make you coffee. You’d never had to tell him how you took it—after that in the rain, he’d somehow remembered what you liked.

You weren’t about to tell him, but you remembered what he liked too.

It started out simple—plum cider that you found on your weekly trip to the farmer’s market. An old vintage copy of The Hobbit from the forties. Rubber silencers for his dog tags that he never used but carried around in his pocket anyway—until eventually, you had something new for him every week, some insignificant thing that he looked at with the kind of childlike awe that made your heart twist into knots in your chest.

He walked you home too. Every evening, with his hands stuffed in his pockets, slowing his stride so that he could walk alongside you. He would stand outside, across the street, hands in his pockets, waiting for you to walk into the apartment you shared with Bella. Only leaving when the lights came on and he knew you were safe.

Bucky wasn’t much of a talker—you learnt that about him. He would spend all day sitting quietly in a corner of your store, reading one of the books he found on the shelf of used copies you kept in the back of the room.

He seemed to love those used books more than the new ones—books someone had already read, books that had already been loved.

He felt a little that way sometimes, too. A little too used for love, not loved enough for use.

But never when he was with you.

And you—you were falling for Bucky Barnes. A little by little, day by day, without even realizing it—not until it all came rushing to you one afternoon, like a dam breaking, like the ocean of his eyes pulling you under, especially when you felt his gaze on you from time to time, watching you as you worked.

That afternoon, a new shipment of books came in. You didn’t even have to ask him for help—he was already on his feet, snapping his copy of Anna Karenina shut, mumbling a soft, “I’ve got it,” as you signed for the order. Hefted the two cartons of books like they weighed nothing at all, and carried them inside.

There was a strange tightness in your stomach as you watched him, standing in the middle of your store—the only thing the Battle of New York hadn’t taken away from you—and you wondered just how it took so damn long to realize that the feeling of familiarity didn’t lie among these books, but rather, in Bucky himself.

—

It was a slow day, so the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon restocking the shelves. He asked you about each of the books, watching your eyes light up as you talked about your favourite ones, until conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence, the two of you basking in each other’s company as you worked.

You didn't even realize how much time had passed until you heard the door open and your friend Bella breezed in. She'd been here the first day Bucky had walked in, had noticed the way your eyes shifted to him mid-conversation like you couldn’t focus on much else when he was around. “Ready for lunch, y/n?”

You looked at Bucky, opening your mouth to ask if he wanted to come along. Not because you didn’t trust him to be alone at the store, but because you wanted his company. Because being around him felt like coming home.

He only waved you off. "Go ahead. I've got plans with Stevie. I'll be here when you're back though."

You believed him. You believed that he would always be around, for as long as you wanted. And you wanted forever.

"Was that the guy from before?" Bella asked, looping an arm through yours as you left the store, walking down the street. She brushed her fiery hair out of her eyes, turning her head slightly to look at you, yellow-green eyes filled with curiosity. “What’s his name?”

"Bucky. He... He's a friend," you said.

"Well," Bella said. "He sure doesn't feel the same way."

"What do you mean?" you asked, confused.

"Y/n, he looks at you like you put the stars in his sky. Are you sure he's just a friend?"

"I... I don't know, Bella."

Because you didn't know what else to call him. Because you and him weren't friends in the way people usually are—you had always been more.

Bucky was always more.

—

"I've barely seen you," Steve said, picking up his can of Diet Pepsi and taking a sip. "Where have you been?"

"Around," Bucky mumbled. Because how could he explain why he was spending so much time at the bookstore with someone he'd only just met? How could he explain the magnetic pull he felt toward you, the inexplicable desire to just be around you?

How could he explain the way you made him feel like himself again?

But Steve knew. Steve always knew. He saw the growing stack of novels on his friend's bedside table, saw him reading at the kitchen table, book propped up against the jug of milk.

He also knew that all this was because of y/n. Because Bucky mumbled that name when he was too exhausted to even know what he was saying. Because Bucky talked in his sleep—and Steve could hear him calling that name through the thin walls that separated their rooms. "You've been at the bookstore?"

Bucky set his drink down. There was so use denying it—his friend would see right through him. Steve had known him for too damn long to believe in his lies. "She's so... I can't even put it into words. She makes me believe that there's good in this world. That all the things I did wrong don't even matter—not when I'm with her. It’s the way she looks at things, the way she’s capable of finding a little bit of good in everything. Like she found something good in me, Steve."

Steve knew it was true. Because he hadn’t seen Bucky this way for a very long time. Because he hadn’t seen that light in his friend’s eyes in a very long time, and ever since he met you, it hadn’t gone away.

—

Bucky had to leave for a couple of days.

He didn't tell you why—just that it was a work thing. How long would he be gone? He didn't know.

"I'll be back soon," he said. "I promise."

And he was. Five days later.

But Bucky was quiet—quieter than usual.

It was a Sunday, and you’d somehow managed to drag him along to the farmer’s market with you. He walked alongside you, hands in his pockets, like he was aching to reach out and touch you but desperately holding himself back.

He’d almost gotten himself killed on that mission.

You took up too many thoughts in his head, too much space in his heart. And when the bullet narrowly missed him, grazing his ribs, his only thought was whether or not you’d miss him if he was gone.

You deserved better than someone who’s life was tied to the death of others. Someone who didn’t have so much blood on his hands.

A few paces ahead of you, Bella walked hand-in-hand with Bucky’s friend Sam. You were glad that Bucky had introduced them, glad that Sam made Bella happy in ways you’d never really known or understood before.

“Look at them,” you said, watching with a smile on your face as Sam quietly slipped a couple of oranges into Bella’s bag. “They look real happy.”

Then, turning to look at him, you smiled, and he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Because you might deserve better, but he was selfish and stubborn, and the only thing he had wanted in so goddamn long was you you you.

“Go out with me,” he blurted, every thread of self-control he had so carefully cultivated to keep his head in your presence snapping. He felt like he was taken back to that December evening he saw you for the first time, when the words refused to leave his mouth, when you’d rendered him tongue-tied and helpless. Only this time, he couldn’t stop the words from coming out, not as he said, “One date, y/n. One date, and if you don’t have a good time, we can just forget it ever happened and move on.”

His heart shuttered when he saw the small frown creasing your brow, your voice soft as you asked, “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything. I want to do this for the rest of my life with you, y/n,” he said quietly. “But for now, I’ll take that date.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding slowly. “Okay, Bucky, I’ll go out with you.”

He couldn’t help it. Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist, drawing you to him, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around until you were both laughing, childlike and breathless, blissfully unconscious of the knowing look on Sam and Bella’s faces.

Because really, how could he see anything but you? You had been it from the first day he saw, and you were it now—a blessing, beautiful and true.

tags:

@goldengoddess @wherearethesantreys @ughlantsov @for-bebbanburg @mriddlemethis @xleiaorgana @xsamsharons

if you would like to be added to or removed from my taglist, just send me a message or an ask off anon!

#bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #marvel mcu

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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years

Text

Friendship Rekindled

Hello, back for Day 10--single parents. This is the second part of a mini series during canon week. this is continuing off from Day 1--desperately in love. there’s going to be two more parts and i cant wait to get them out there!

i think this could be considered a little angsty, given some of the conversation topics that happen.

cw: brief mention of death and blood loss. mention of an abusive parent. (if i miss any, pls dont hesitate to let me know!)

enjoy! :)

2.9k words (my longest fic yet i believe)

It was nice to be finally out of the house, Aelin decided as she walked up to the nursery, her five month old daughter, Olive, strapped to her chest. After being cooped up for what felt like the last five months, Aelin had decided to liven up her apartment with some plants.

Hardy, un-killable plants, that is. Being a single mother didn't leave her much time to look after other things, so she needed some plants that required minimal water, but also had to be pretty to look at.

It was also a plus that there was a cafe attached to the nursery, and she heard that they served the best scones with homemade strawberry jam and cream in Orynth. All her life she had never come here, but she needed somewhere new to visit. And to reacquaint herself with her home town. Not long after Rowan and Lyria's wedding, Aelin had transferred to Rifthold for work, and had used the miles apart to quietly disappear from their lives.

That was four years ago now, and come back home to be closer to her parents. Aelin had never known her grandparents, and Aelin didn't want to deny her parents the privilege of knowing Olive, so she had transferred back just before she went on maternity leave. Aelin was happy to be back, especially since she hadn't seen Rowan or Lyria. The last she heard was from Elide, who got it from Lorcan, that a year after marriage, they were expecting. She was happy for them, she truly was, but that didn't stop the stab of pain she felt when she heard the news. She had dreamt of her being in Lyria's position for a few weeks after she heard the news, but forced herself to stop. To move on.

Aelin had, in a way. She would always love Rowan, but she needed to move on. It was wrong to consider her daughter a distraction, but she did provide the perfect one. Aelin briefly removed her lemon printed bucket-hat (Aelin wore a matching one) to kiss her head, her golden hair sparse, laughing her perfect baby laugh.

Aelin finally entered the nursery, tugging her nappy bag higher on her shoulder as she took in the hundreds of plants. She had no idea where to start, but started her browse. She slowly walked through the fern section, stopping every now and then to let Olive touch one, making the cute hand grabbing motion when she saw one she liked.

Aelin heard the laughter of a young child behind her, and then a deep and familiar one accompany it.

Aelin froze. It couldn't be. Surely the Gods weren't that cruel. Months she had been here, for the first time in ages she had decided to do something for herself, only to be met by that damned laughter.

Slowly she turned, her sandals making the gravel underneath crunch. She saw a flash of silver and a broad body.

Turning around had been a mistake, because when she did, so did the silver-haired man.

And for the first time in four years, turquoise eyes landed on pine-green ones.

Rowan blinked, and then blinked again as he took her in. His eyes widened as he noticed Olive strapped to her body, her face on display as she took in her surroundings. Her baby had the chocolate brown eyes of her father, but it was clear to anyone that knew Aelin that Olive was hers. Her daughter had Aelin's nose and hair colour, and would likely grow to have more of Aelin's features as the years went by.

Behind Rowan, his cousin Enda was holding the hand of a brown-haired boy. It was difficult to tell his exact age, but he looked to be about three. If Rowan was here with his son, then it was a good chance that Lyria would be here, too. The woman was a flower enthusiast, and was practically a walking encyclopedia when it came to flowers. Any questions anyone had, they went to Lyria.

Aelin really did not want to be here. Did not want to have that conversation of why the hell she had left and dropped all communication with them after the wedding.

Aelin hated it, but she adverted her gaze and started to leave. She would have to come here another day—maybe after she called the office to make sure that there was no silver-haired man in attendance.

“Aelin,” Rowan said, his voice raspy from surprise. Gods, she missed his deep voice and the rolling purr of his accent.

Aelin pretended that she didn't hear and made a beeline for the exit. Rowan called her again, and then a third time. Just as she reached the gate, his warm hand landed on her shoulder gently. His hands were still calloused, his hands always doing some type of manual labour work. She wondered briefly if he was still an auto mechanic.

Turning around, Aelin noted the shock in his dark eyes. She gave him a weak smile, not sure what to say.

“What are you—I mean, how are you? Where have you been?”

“I'm good,” Aelin answered after a moment, not really sure how else to respond. “I've been around. What about you?” Somehow, these questions didn't feel like the right ones to ask. Before Rowan could say anything, Olive made herself known, making grunting sounds that meant she wanted attention, so Aelin kissed her hand and said to Rowan, “This is Olive.”

Rowan's eyes dropped down to Olive. “Is she yours?”

Aelin snorted, a sound she hadn't made in so long. It was something she often did around Rowan—or used to, that is. “No, I bought her from the store. Yes, she's mine.”

Rowan's eyes dropped lower, to her ring finger—her empty ring finger. There had never been a ring there. Aelin's traitorous eyes drifted to Rowan's and her heart stopped when she noticed that his ring finger was bare as well—that there was no tan line to suggest that he had only recently removed it.

“I'm doing this on my own,” Aelin found herself saying after a moment.

“As am I,” Rowan said. Aelin cocked her head to the side, annoyed at herself for being curious. “Lyria...Lyria passed away three years ago.”

Aelin's heart shot up to her throat, choking her. Years ago, Aelin had horribly wished that the ring Rowan had purchased was secretly for her and was heartbroken when it wasn't. In her loneliest moments, she had wished that Rowan and Lyria would break up and somehow find his way to her in Rifthold; but never, never-ever in a million years would she ever have wanted this to happen.

Why the hell hadn't Elide told her? Or anyone else for that matter?

Aelin found her voice after long minutes of just staring at him, processing his words. “Rowan, I am so rutting sorry. I had no idea. Are you...are you okay?”

“I have my good and bad days”. He pointed to the brown-haired boy with Enda, who were both busy inspecting each leaf and flower petal in front of them. “That's Egan, he's a plant lover like his mother.”

Aelin couldn't really see him, but she still said, “He's adorable.”

“He is, and a little terror,” Rowan said, a small smile on his tanned face. After a moment, he turned back to her, and asked, “Are you...doing anything? I'd like to talk, it's been a long time since we have.”

She should say no, but she ended up saying yes.

Taking a deep breath, she followed Rowan back inside the nursery and to the cafe.

X X X X X X

It was turning out to be an ordinary Saturday when Rowan had needed to get out of the house, so he asked Egan if he wanted to go to the nursery and his son had enthusiastically agreed, asking if Uncle Enda could join them. Thankfully, his cousin was free and more than happy to spend time with his nephew.

Never in a million years did he think he would run into Aelin. He had heard the rumours that she transferred back to the publishing house and that was it; there was no mention of her being pregnant. But when Rowan looked up and spotted Aelin, and his eyes immediately dropped to the baby strapped to her chest, his heart had stopped.

He had once wished to have that life with Aelin, exploring the world with their child, one that had Aelin's hair and his eyes; but Rowan never told Aelin how he felt because he knew how badly her last relationship ended, and he didn't want to put any unnecessary stress on her if she didn't feel the same way. Didn't want there to be any chance to ruin their friendship.

And so, he had moved on. Had started dating Lyria and came to love her, but not the same way as he loved Aelin. And when Rowan proposed, he had only done it because his parents were getting older and wanted him to get married, wanted him to have a grandchild.

It was cruel irony that they had both died before Lyria had even given birth.

He was bastard, and he hated himself. Lyria was kind, sweet and gentle—and deserved someone better than him, should have been with a man that truly wanted to marry her for her and not because of family pressures. But he never stopped himself from their relationship moving forward.

But he was doing better, thanks to therapy, because while he may have been a bastard, he didn't want his son to know that. Maybe it made him a bastard to hide this part of himself to his son, but his son was gentle like his mother and Rowan loathed the idea of Egan growing up to hate him.

And as Rowan asked Enda to take Egan home, Rowan could see that Enda thought that this lunch was a bad idea—Rowan had confessed his secrets to his cousin long ago, how he loved Aelin even when he was married to Lyria. How he had wanted that life with her instead.

Rowan knew that he was going to be on the end of a scolding conversation when he got back to his house, but he told Enda that it was going to be okay and that he was fine and could handle this.

Enda sighed heavily through his nose and muttered a 'good luck' under his breath. Rowan planted a kiss of Egan's head and told him that he would be home soon. His son was too excited to spend time with his Uncle to really notice.

When Rowan returned to Aelin's side, they soon found a nice spot in the cafe that was away from others.

It was...painfully awkward for a good while. They only spoke to order their food—scones with jam and cream with a side dish of seasonal fruits for Aelin, and a steak sandwich with fries for Rowan—and then lapsed back into silence.

They ate in silence, too, and Rowan wondered if maybe this was a tremendously bad idea when Aelin said, softly but not weakly, “What happened to Lyria?”

Taking a deep breath, Rowan swirled his fries in the mustard on his plate. He hated this part. “She passed away not long after giving birth. She hemorrhaged and bleed out too quickly for anything to be done. Egan never really got to meet her.”

“I'm sorry,” Aelin said, doing her best to speak over the lump in her throat, “that's horrible. I'm so sorry.”

Years later and Rowan still never really knew what to say to that. Needing to distract himself, he asked, “So, what's your story?”

Before she could say anything, Olive started crying, and without a seconds hesitation, Aelin started feeding her. Some people stared in disapproval and Aelin stared right back, unflinching. He knew that if someone said something, she would spit back. It never made sense to Rowan how people frowned upon breastfeeding. A small smile made its way to Rowan's mouth at the steely look in her stunning eyes. That was the Aelin he knew and loved.

When the strangers turned back around, Aelin looked back at him, the steel in her eyes softening. “I briefly dated my high school boyfriend, Sam, for a while back in Rifthold, and well...the condom broke and Olive made her appearance.” Not the most elegant way to describe the situation, but Aelin figured she had years to think of a better way to explain Olive's appearance if her daughter ever asked.

“And he wants no part of it?” He had no right to ask, but the question left his mouth before he could stop it.

Aelin sighed, and finished feeding Olive and cleaning themselves up before responding. “It's complicated...Sam's father, Arobynn, is a cruel man. He's manipulative and sadistic, but knows how to turn on the charm when it suits him. Sam has been scared of him his entire life, and didn't want Olive to know the fear that he did. So, every month Sam sends money, but he's not on the birth certificate—he doesn't want there to be any paper trails leading to Olive's existence. I had to convince him that it was safer to transfer me the money than to send it through the mail. I send him pictures from time to time, but whether he saves them, I have no idea.” Not to mention the miserable length of the conversation of sending money electronically. Sam was so damned paranoid that Arobynn checked his accounts that Aelin had almost told him not to bother to send anything when he relented. Aelin could provide Olive well enough on her own, but it was helpful to have that extra bit of cash—baby things were expensive as hell.

Aelin bit her lip. She hadn't meant to divulge that much, no one knew that, not even her best friends, but she didn't regret it. It felt...like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“That's awful, Aelin, I'm sorry to hear that.”

“I just...” She probably shouldn't ask, but out of everyone she knew, none of them were single parents. “Has Egan ever asked about his mother? What do you say to that?”

“He's asked a few times, and I've told him that she passed away when he was little, but I don't think he fully understands what I'm talking about.” Those conversations were the hardest that he ever had to go through, and he knew it would be worst when Egan grew and fully understood what death meant.

“I have no idea what I'll tell Olive when she's older and asks about her dad,” Aelin admitted. “It's not like he's gone, but he is absent and I just...what if she grows up to think he hates her? I think that would kill me if she ever thought that.”

Without thinking, Rowan reached over and too her hand in his. Her hand was soft in his, and he swiped his thumb against her knuckles. “You have a good few years to worry about that. Who knows,” he added, “maybe Sam will be able to get out from his father's shadows and you three can be a family.”

A small smile made its way to Aelin's face. She was more beautiful then he remembered, and he wasn't sure if he should feel guilty for thinking that.

“I like the sound of that, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. I'd like to think that I can do this on my own.”

“You can, but if you'd like...if you ever need help with something, if you need someone to look after Olive, I could do that for you.”

Silver lined Aelin's eyes as she watched him. “Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude.”

“That's what friends are for, aren't they? To help?” And as a single parent himself, he knew how hard it could be raising a child in this hectic world.

Aelin's smile grew. “Okay, I'll keep that in mind. And if we're friends, could you help me find some plants? I'm sick of looking at my boring walls.”

“Okay, I know the perfect ones for you to get—ones that are practically impossible to kill.”

“I'm going to ignore that implication that I can't look after a plant.” Although it was true.

Rowan snorted. “Because you can't. I remember that poor aloe Vera plant that you slaughtered.”

Aelin narrowed her eyes, but he could see just a hint of mirth behind the glare. “I did not slaughter that plant, it just didn't like me!”

Rowan laughed and it was the most freeing sound he made in a long time. After he calmed down, he said, “Come on, let's finish here and I'll help you to liven up your place.”

“Fine, but I better not hear anything about my poor gardening skills or I'll let down your tires.” And she would, he knew, but Rowan just smiled even more.

“It's a deal.”

The conversation moved much more smoothly and Rowan realised how much he missed her. And Aelin realised how much she missed him, too.

Maybe things wouldn't be too bad after-all. It would be nice to have Rowan in her life again, even as a friend, even if she still loved him and knew it could never be, not after everything.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #my work

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bumbleklee · 3 years

Note

Could you make a fic based on the song Moondust By Jaymes Young? With Xiao or Zhongli? It’s fine if you decline, I enjoyed your Lonestar fic a lot! Also, thank you in advance if you do this! ^^

after this, i decided im a monster. this is so sad, like so so sad. i don't know if this is what you had in mind but since the song is basically about learning how to live/love without someone, i went down a death route. i also went w xiao. pls enjoy (and grab a tissue)

before reading: ANGST!!! you literally die and are a ghost the entire time. mentions of injury and blood as well as self-harm and suicidal thoughts. word count is around 2.1k (under cut for length)

I'm building this house, on the moon Like a lost, astronaut Lookin' at you, like a star From a place, the world forgot And there's nothing, that I can do Except bury my love for you

Death was quick.

You know instantly that you’re dead the second you open your eyes. You can still remember the feeling of the Fatui pyro agent slicing his knife across your throat and if you think about it enough, your neck tingles. You remember falling to your knees, being laughed at, and then you saw nothing.

Well, you saw blackness.

And then when you came to, you were standing in the middle of Liyue Harbor. The world seemed duller but it was real. No one paid any mind to you, so you assumed you were a ghost.

It’s nice to still be able to watch the sun rise high above your hometown.

There’s no panic, no rush to find out what’s going on, you don’t need to. Your hands travel to your throat and the horrific wound is gone. In fact, all of the scrapes and bruises and imperfections on your body were gone. Death brings solace, you humor.

Your peaceful moment was interrupted by two frantic voices. They catch the attention of everyone in the area, including you, and you spin around quickly.

Xiao.

“Break the contract, please, Zhongli-” His voice is frazzled, filled with a sadness the living can’t understand. “I can’t live without them.”

You looked down at your left hand, heart shattering at the absence of the jade ring. Right. You were going to marry Xiao later that year. Not anymore.

A hundred thousand memories of sweet kisses and long nights flooded into your mind. They caused you to hold your breath, too many emotions crashing through your tired form. You felt like crying but couldn’t (ghosts didn’t have tears, you guessed).

You’re standing right in front of the love of your life and he can’t see you.

Maybe it’s a good thing he can’t see you because Xiao already looked wrecked. His eyes were puffy and red and his hair was disheveled. Unhealed scratches wound his arms like ribbon. You had been with Xiao for years, through the good and the bad, and never once had you ever seen him in this state.

He’s pleading still and Zhongli has an indescribable expression on his face. “I can’t,” His voice is barely a whisper, “You know I can’t.”

Xiao wails, falling to his knees. Zhongli feels his pain, you know he does, yet he won’t put him out of misery. You watch as Zhongli bends down and lifts the adeptus into his arms, swiftly walking away from the crowd. You follow ensuite and Xiao’s eyes are hazy, staring through you over Zhongli’s shoulder.

“I’m right here.”

But he doesn’t hear you.

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love, in the Moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love, in the moondust

You begin to follow Xiao around. Not that he goes anywhere, too heartbroken to move, but you keep watch of him like he once did for you.

He resorts to staying in Zhongli’s apartment. The consultant isn’t around most of the day and Xiao rarely leaves his bed. His tears stain the satin pillowcase and he curls upon himself. Sometimes you stand in the doorway and stare, other times you muster up enough courage to go and sit on the unoccupied side of the bed.

The first time you touch Xiao again is at night. He’s crying and without thinking, you wrap your body around his. His chest is pressed against yours and you press your lips to his shoulder.

It’s not warm anymore. In fact, it feels like nothing.

But still, you hold Xiao until he’s asleep. You don’t let go all night, opting to watch your beloved finally get some rest. You wonder if this is how it’s going to be for the rest of eternity? Would you follow Xiao around aimlessly for centuries more?

Or maybe you’re just stuck here. You recall a saying from an elder in Liyue years ago, “Spirits with unfinished business can’t move.”

You decided then that you were going to help him move on, help Xiao bury his love for you.

Nothing can breath, in the space Colder than, the darkest sea I have dreams about the days, driving through your sunset breeze But the first thing, that I will do Is bury my love for you

There’s no book about being a ghost. You have to figure it out on your own and you’ve never been more grateful no one can see you go straight through the wall for the third time that hour. Over time, you create your own handbook in your mind, jotting down anything you discover as your time as a dead person entails.

Within the first week, you understand that no one can see you, hear you, or feel you. And while you can vaguely touch objects and people, the sensation is different than when you were alive. Every human trait was thrown out the window - you don’t need to sleep, breathe or eat and drink anything.

You attend your funeral exactly a week after your body was discovered and someone propped your sword against your casket. You try to grasp it, to pick it up, but you only manage to push it over with a gust of nonexistent wind. It clambers to the floor, the funeral parlor growing silent, and you take this as your cue to leave.

You wondered if Xiao, or anyone of that matter, could sense you at least. Even if Xiao couldn’t see you, just him knowing you were there would ascend you to the afterlife (right?).

You also find out you can’t leave Liyue. There’s an invisible border keeping you trapped in the country and, frankly, you don’t mind. Xiao won’t leave Liyue so you don’t need to leave Liyue. But sometimes you get anxious that one day Xiao will leave Liyue and never return. And if you haven’t accomplished your goal yet, would you truly be stuck as a monster among men?

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love, in the Moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love, in the moondust

On particularly good days, Xiao talks to you. Zhongli was gone early one morning and Xiao pulled himself out of bed and to the living room, opting to open the blinds and see sunlight for the first time in weeks.

You sit on the coffee table with your legs criss-crossed as Xiao mumbles desolate words.

“I keep just wishing I would wake up dead. I miss you so much.”

You frown. “I’m here, I’m right here.”

But he can’t hear you. “You aren’t here to make me laugh at your stupid jokes anymore. And I just...I should have been there! I should have-”

His voice cracks and you move off the coffee table, wrapping your arms around his quivering body. You try to press yourself against him, squeeze your arms so tight that he’ll feel you, but you can’t. You can’t kiss his chapped lips and move your bodies so he’s curled into the crook of your neck.

Sometimes, you watch Xiao hurt himself. He digs his nails into his arms or thighs until he draws blood, only to push it all away and scream into the ground. You want to snap him out of him, tell him to stop doing that to himself, but you can only sit and stare.

You were nothing to Liyue - a common human who added nothing of importance to society. Yes, your death was sad for many people but the world kept turning. Xiao, on the other hand, was so special. He was the Vigilant Yaksha - the people of Liyue needed him forever.

“I miss you. I love you. I miss you.”

I'm a cast away, and men reap what they sow And I say what I know, to be true Yeah I'm living far away, on the face of the moon I've buried my love to give the world to you

Xiao goes out sometimes. It’s either to patrol the city or on a walk with Zhongli. It’s not much but it's an improvement. Like always, you follow him.

He’s started to have nightmares, waking up in a rush. He used to comfort you when you had nightmares and it pains you that you can’t return the favor. You try, by God, you try. You run your hands down his back comfortingly but Xiao only cries harder.

When Xiao sees Ganyu for the first time in months and she gives him homemade almond tofu, he smiles. It’s small and quick but you see it.

Growing up, you had thought that the living mourned the dead. When your grandmother died, you felt broken for a while, but that pain was minimal compared to this. Having to live endless days as an invisible soul while the living grieved was unbearable.

When no one is around, Xiao breaks down. He hurts himself, insults himself and wishes for you endlessly. When Xiao tries to jump off the roof of the apartment complex in the middle of the night and survives with only an injured arm, you realize he’s pushing his body. He’s trying to kill himself.

So, you scream.

Every waking hour of the day you scream.

“I’m right here, Xiao! I love you and I’m right here! I’m sorry for being careless and getting killed but you aren’t ready to join me yet!”

You know he doesn’t hear you, he can’t hear you, and yet Xiao slowly stops hurting himself.

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love, in the Moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love, in the moondust

It takes a year for Xiao to finally begin to cope with your death and you know your journey will be coming to end soon.

He still talks to you except now it’s hopeful and filled with acceptance. On the anniversary of your death, he travels to the Dragon-Queller early in the morning. He sits down in the spot he used to take you to and rubs the grass softly, as if motioning for you to sit down next to him.

You do.

“I’m leaving Liyue next week.”

A million feelings run through your veins. You want to throw up, scream, cry. Is a week enough time to get Xiao to move on from you? Had he already moved on? There were too many questions you couldn’t fucking ask.

You can’t bear to listen to the rest. Your feet travel on their own, taking you far away from Xiao and back into the heart of Liyue Harbor. You didn’t know where you were until you heard a voice call out for you.

“Hey, you!”

You were imagining voices now. You felt sick to your stomach.

“Y/N!”

A short, young woman came into your view and you finally looked up. You had walked right into the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Hu Tao was staring at you, not through you.

“I knew you were still here.”

Hu Tao could see you.

It didn’t make sense but you didn’t have time to make it make sense. Without thinking, you cried out to Hu Tao and begged her to help you save Xiao, save yourself.

“I want to go with him,” You say.

“But you can’t.”

“Then he’s going to forget about me.”

Hu Tao chuckled softly, “You think Xiao would forget about you?”

You don’t answer. Maybe it was you that didn’t want to forget about Xiao. Either way, it hurts. “He’s going to fall in love with someone new and-”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

It was. You wanted Xiao to be happy without you, to learn to love again. You wanted him to bury his love for you so you could both be free.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Hu Tao says, “Xiao will find you again one day.”

She clasps her hands together and reaches them out to you. You look down and see a moving image of Xiao. He’s still talking softly, this time with a small smile on his lips. You close your eyes suddenly, not wanting to see anymore. You step outside of the funeral parlor and whisper “I love you” into the wind.

The sun is shining high in the sky when Teyvat begins to disappear from your vision.

Maybe in another life you and Xiao will spend forever together. You’ll have a grand wedding, start a family, and grow old together like you should have. But for now, you’ll see him from the moon.

#genshin #genshin x reader #genshin self insert #genshin angst #genshin writing #genshin impact writing #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #xiao #zhongli #hu tao #im sorry for this

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yoonjinkooked · 3 years

Text

Chemistry | JHS (6 (pt 1))

Part 6 - Just Do It

(pls ignore my old URL, i’m too lazy to change it now RIP)

DRABBLE SERIES, TONS OF SHORT LITTLE CHAPTERS.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Hoseok / Reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: FWB, university AU, smut

Warnings: blonde Hobi (yes, that’s a dang warning), heaps of dirty talk, public groping, lots of sex discussion, them being responsible adults and getting tested before doing it, cursing, drinking. It ends on a bit of a cliff hanger cause this is just an intro of the smut fest that the next chapter will be Also, IMPORTANT: the ‘Spring Cleaning’ party that I am describing is fictional (that I know of at least) and I BEG OF YOU, please don’t mix your drinks. Just don’t. It won’t end well. Don’t mix drinks, don’t drink and drive, don’t drink what a random person gives you and never ever ever leave sight of your glass. Please. Drink responsibly and stay the f away from it if you are underaged. That also means you need to stay the f away from this story, too 💜

Word Count: 3k

Summary: After a few years of being immune to Jung Hoseok’s charms, you suddenly fall into them, head first. All it takes is one night, too much alcohol and a lot of balls.

A/N: Again, DRINK RESPONSIBLY! The smut fest part 2 is coming super fast (no pun intended). Unedited, so please forgive me, I needed to get this shit out to you and i just need more Hobi. these are drabbles after all lol

“I’m clean,” Hoseok informs you with the widest grin possible. “Got the results emailed this morning. 100% clean and ready.”

You don’t register his words at all - first of all, he had startled you, appearing directly in front of your path, probably seeing you from afar, making your way to the study hall where the first class of your day takes place. And on top of that, you are way too shocked with his appearance to even bother understanding the words he was telling you.

“You’re… you’re blonde,” you mumble as you stare at his hair, wondering if it’s your mind playing tricks on you. Sunlight makes hair lighter, doesn’t it? It doesn’t make it almost platinum, though. Looking him over, you realize that nothing else has changed - still the same height, still the same weight, still his signature casual but colorful clothing - but the blonde is there and it’s magnetic - it’s impossible to look at anything else before your eyes are glued to his new hairstyle again. It suits him so damn well. If someone had told you he’d look this good blonde, you wouldn’t have believed them.

“Oh, yeah,” he waves his hand off, laughing, as if it’s a completely irrelevant thing. Honestly, to him it might be, but not to you. “More importantly, I am clean,” he repeats his earlier words and this time around, you do get to properly register them, as well as the meaning behind them. Clean. Safe to have sex. No worries in that department. You should be overjoyed but not only are you still hypnotized by his sudden change of looks, you’re also refusing to focus on that particular information.

It’s weird - you did stuff, discussed even more, agreed on everything. You blushing at him informing you that it’s finally safe for him to fuck you and finish inside you is weird.

“You’re blonde,” is all you can say, and it earns you an eye roll from Hoseok.

“Oh come on Y/N,” he whines. “If you’re going to be like this just take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Hey!” you snap, smacking him on the shoulder in retaliation, which only makes him laugh. “Have mercy on me here, give me a moment to get used to this new look of yours. If I showed up with a completely different hair color, would you be able to focus on anything else?” you demand, absolutely positive that he’d be equally as lost as you are.

“If you telling me that you’re clean and we can finally fuck, yeah, I wouldn’t be focusing on hair, even if it had all the colors of the rainbow in it,” he answers honestly.

“Okay, okay, we get it, we’re on the same page - you’re stupidly hot, clean and want to fuck,” you laugh at him, although you would be a fool to deny that it’s getting to you - the way he is so upfront about liking you and being attracted to you is impossible to ignore - it makes you feel a lot more confident than you have felt in a long while.

“Oh Y/N, you know me so well,” he acts as if he’s genuinely touched and it’s this reaction that makes you melt and laugh. No matter the hair color, no matter how casual he references his intention to get his dick inside you, it’s Hoseok. And that’s all that matters. “Seriously though, we both have our results so whenever you’re ready, if you’re still up for it…” he doesn’t finish the sentence but the raise of his eyebrow says it all.

“I’m not missing out on that piece of ass if that’s what concerns you,” you joke, looking him up and down as you speak. It’ll never cease to amaze you how he can whisper the dirtiest things to you, or even say them casually out loud, but turn as red as a tomato when you do the same thing. “What are you doing tonight, do you have any plans?” you ask.

“Aren’t you going to Namjoon’s?” he frowns in confusion. “Spring Cleaning party season?” he reminds you and starts laughing immediately, probably at your look of realization mixed in with disgust. “Is this about Namjoon or about the Spring Cleaning party season?” he laughs.

What you guys refer to as spring cleaning is exactly what it sounds like - all the leftover alcohol that somehow managed to survive the past year is gathered in one place in the ‘bring-your-own-booze’ manner. It’s usually a mixture of hideous drinks and half empty bottles and once it’s all gathered, you make it even worse, combining it into borderline poisonous mixtures. Everyone attending and everyone drinking does so on their own responsibility, fully aware of how the night might end.

A year ago, it was still fun. Now, you know you’re too old for that shit.

“It’s about both,” you answer Hobi’s question in a whine. “I don’t wanna deal with wasted frat boys who’ll spend half the night throwing up and Namjoon is insufferable.”

“Namjoon is one of your best friends,” Hobi laughs.

“I know - that’s why I’m well aware of how insufferable he is,” you grunt in annoyance. “I know it’s tradition and all but can we skip all of that? Coochie in exchange for avoiding a party we’re too old for anyways?” you suggest.

“Wait,” Hoseok’s eyes widen and you can imagine a lightbulb turning on above his head. “You think Namjoon’s insufferable?”

“Incredibly so, yes.”

“And you want to make his life a living hell in retaliation?” he continues asking.

“Absolutely,” you reply in a heartbeat, despite loving Namjoon like he was your family. You adore him but you cannot stand him at times and ever since this little thing with Hoseok had started, he had not stopped teasing you. It’s time for him to suffer.

“Hear me out,” Hoseok moves closer to you, as if he is about to share a conspiracy theory that no one except you is allowed to know about. “How about we go to the party and stay there a bit - laugh at the idiots, dance to bad music - just a regular Thursday. And then, when the shitshow starts, and it will start, we go upstairs and seal the deal?”

“You want us to fuck in Namjoon’s house?” you start laughing.

“Is there anything that would annoy and traumatize him more than knowing two of his closest friends fucked in his house?” he points out.

“Yeah, if he walks in,” you burst out laughing. “Honestly, sold. Fuck it.”

“I plan to,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you in the most sleazy manner possible - jokingly, of course. He knows he has you hooked and he can play around with it. And you’ll love it.

“Ugh, stop doing that,” you laugh, smacking him on the shoulder again. “Don't try too hard, you already have me, blondie.”

“I look that good, huh?” he laughs, hitting the bullseye.

You don’t answer that question - you offer him nothing more than a smile and a shrug before you slowly walk past him and make your way to a class you’re probably already late for. He knows you enough to realize that to you, yes, he does look that good. And you cannot wait to find out what other things he can do to you, hoping that the movie is as promising as the trailer was.

Standing across the room, Hoseok keeps his eyes glued to you, the same way he did from the moment you entered the house. You aren’t hiding from it either - you make direct eye contact with him, smiling in a knowing manner as you listen to whatever it is that Taehyung was yapping on about. You tried to listen - you really did, at first. But the problem is that Hoseok’s very presence demands your attention - it’s something you can’t control. If he’s around, if he’s in the room and if you have this feeling of the two of you alone knowing something, knowing this secret about what’s going to happen tonight - no one else stands a chance, not even your friends.

“Are you seriously ogling Hoseok while I’m asking you for relationship advice?” Taehyung sounds exasperated and you feel guilty - even more so when you realize that the only reason he did manage to get your attention was because he had mentioned his name.

“Ugh, I’m so sorry Tae,” you don’t try to defend yourself, knowing you’re guilty as charged. “My mind is a mess, I’m a useless friend. I just… can’t focus on anything else,” you admit sheepishly, not really wanting to go into details. They know that something is happening and that’s it. You don’t want to share more, neither does Hoseok, nor do you think any of your friends is particularly thirsty for details. Except perhaps Jimin, but tough luck for him.

“Then go!” Tae urges you and for a moment, you think that he is angry at you - the urgency with which he said it makes you wonder if he’s pissed with you for not listening to him carefully - but when you look up at him, you see his signature smile. He’s not angry - he’s cheering you on. “Go and get your guy!”

You want to sigh, roll your eyes and remind him that Hoseok is not your guy - but in a weird, fucked up way that only you and him understand, he kind of is. It’s you he’s looking at - not any other girl, and there are plenty. It’s you he’s had his eyes on ever since he first saw you - it’s you he’s waiting for.

So you go for it - the same way you did the night it all started. Without thinking twice about it, you approach him, walking through a crowd of people to get to him - his eyes follow you every step of the way, standing straighter as you finally get to him, mere inches separating the two of you.

It’s electric. The feeling between the two of you, it’s purely electric, making you wonder if he’d burn to the touch if you were to reach out. In your mind, he always was the epitome of the Sun, so it wouldn’t be no surprise. You notice his smile despite not breaking eye contact - he smiles at you with them too, the signature wrinkles appearing on the edges.

“Well, don’t you look lovely tonight,” he tells you, giving you a quick once over. “Black has always suited you.”

“Now’s the time when I say something quirky yet charming like, ‘it matches my soul’,” you joke, laughing along with him. “Thank you - I had to dress in my finest, seeing as it’s a special occasion after all.”

“Is it?” he laughs. “I thought it was just a Spring Cleaning party.”

“Hoseok…” you shoot him a warning glare.

“I’m just messing with you,” he laughs, pointing out the obvious. “Can I… kiss you?”

This question takes you by surprise - you have decided to be public with whatever the hell this thing is - simply to avoid confusion, especially since you’ve agreed that you won’t be sleeping with other people while this deal of yours is standing. It’s a nice surprise, though - the fact that he still wants to ask, the fact that he is making sure that you are comfortable with it - whether it’s with the kiss itself or it being in public. It warms your heart to know that even though you had never planned any of this with him, he ended up being the right choice.

“Hobi, honestly, we’re past the point where you need to ask,” you admit, wanting him to know that you’re not going to back out and that you do feel comfortable.

He says nothing, instead deciding to kiss you immediately. It’s slow and gentle, lazy and languid, in a way that shows no rush or urgency. It’s obvious that he is enjoying it, and so are you, every move of his tongue against yours, every breath of yours that mingles with his. To the two of you, the rest of the room no longer exists - the sounds toned out, the people long forgotten. It’s almost as if it’s you and you alone - and the rest of the world doesn’t matter. You move your body closer to his, anchoring your hands around his neck as you press against his front - as you have found out, making out with Hoseok has plenty of merits, and one of the bigger ones is simply the feel of his body against yours.

His hands wander, slowly and likely aware of the audience around you - it’s highly unlikely that anyone spared you more than a glance, but despite what it feels like in your mind, you are definitely not alone. So when his fingers graze your ass, he doesn’t grab it firmly like you know he’d like to - he simply rests his hand there, with pressure that promises that there’s more in his mind than a simple touch. You know very well that if the two of you don’t slow down soon, he’ll pop a boner in the middle of Namjoon’s kitchen and even though you’re hardly keeping this a secret, that would likely be a bit too much for him to handle.

With your mind heading in that direction, you begrudgingly stop the kiss, but you don’t move too far away from him - your hands still around his neck and his hands still on your ass. For what seems like minutes, neither of you says a word, simply looking at each other, your eyes scanning the face of the other - the way his lips are wet and how he nervously licks at them, the way his cheeks also changed shades (and you know alcohol is not to blame for it) and the glint in his eye that likely mirrors yours, with both of you knowing what’s in the other one’s head. Tonight is the night, the night you will finally seal the deal.

And if all goes well, start something that will make you explore things and areas you dared not speak of, much less try them before. All of it, from the sweetest and most romantic to the nastiest, kinkiest shit imaginable - you want to do it all with him and it’ll start tonight.

“So...” You start, in what you hope is a sexy voice. “Are we going to go and piss Joon off by fucking in his house?” you ask, making sure that the sexy voice you’re trying to use is also low enough for no one else but him to hear. You take it a step further, pressing your lips to his ear, whispering. “I want to suck you off before I ride you until I can no longer hold myself up. Then, I want you to fuck into me with all that strength you have and fill me up, watch the cum drip out of me and then watch me finger it back inside my cunt.”

Pulling away just in time to see him swallow a lump, you move one of your hands from around his neck, down his chest and stomach, very slowly, before grazing it over his already noticeable growing dick - you don’t tease him more than that, knowing that even though you might not feel them, you likely do have eyes on you by now - you simple careers the area where his jeans are starting to stand out, a sign of his eagerness that completely mirrors the way your underwear is sticking to your core. Both of you are horny as all hell and if you don’t act on it soon, you’ll jump his bones right here, right now, on Joon’s kitchen sink.

“How ‘bout I use my fingers to push the cum back inside you and when it dribbles out again, I eat you out until you want to scream my name but you can’t, ‘cause you’re sucking on my fingers, licking every drip of cum left on them?” he suggests and you for a second, you think your knees are going to give out and you’ll fall flat. You don’t, likely because he still has his hands pressed to your backside.

“Oh, I’d want nothing more,” you shamelessly admit.

“Then we’re not doing it here,” he announces, laughing at the immediate sulky reaction it elicited from you. “Don’t be like that, it’s better if we go to my place,” he chuckles at you, gently squeezing your butt. “I want us to enjoy the night, go for as many rounds as our bodies can take and then do it again in the morning. We can’t have that here while some freshman is doing a keg stand and anyone can walk in on us at any second. We can piss Joon off later - but it’s the first time we’re gonna do it and damn it, I wanna do it right.”

“You wanna do it right?” your eyebrows rise.

“I could stand here all night and list all the things that I want to do to you, and you to me, and still remember more on the way home - and we’ve already discussed a bunch. I want to treat you good and give you the best fuck of your life - I promised as much and I want to deliver. We can fuck in Joon’s house any other day, honestly.”

“Do you want to… use something tonight?” you ask, pressing your hand against his crotch a little bit harder this time. “I have some toys back at my place but we won’t be alone there.”

“Nah,” he shakes his head immediately. “I have my cock, mouth and fingers - I don’t need much else to make you want to never do anyone else. We’ll have plenty of time for all the toys - and when I say all, I mean all. I’d go for anything with you.”

“If you keep talking like that, I’m just going to cum right here, right now,” you admit.

“While that would be a sight for sore eyes, I have other plans. Let’s go,” he takes you by the hand and away you go, making your way through the crowd, not caring if anyone notices how quickly you’re leaving or how you’re walking hand in hand.

You simply don’t give a shit, at all. All you care about is Hoseok right now - his dick, mouth and fingers and all the things he plans to do with them.

#hoseok smut #jhope smut #bts smut #hoseok fanfic #hoseok series #bts fanfic #bts series #thebtswritersclub #bangtanarmynet

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tsukishumai · 3 years

Text

Chemical Reaction - Kuroo Tetsuro

Summary: When the universe hands you a second chance, will you be able to move on from the mistakes of your past?

college!Kuroo x fem!reader

a friends to friends w/ benefits to lovers type of deal.

Warnings: some light NSFW, slow burn, aged up characters, mentions of smoking, mentions of alcohol, fingering, cursing, and a little heartbreak. angst to fluff

Word Count: 7.3k (it goes by fast, I swear (′ꈍωꈍ‵))

A/N: Jesus... this started out as a prompt, but it snowballed into whatever the hell this is. And it was supposed to be done by Kuroo’s bday T-T but better late than never! I poured in a lil extra love into this, pls give it a shot, lmk what you think, and I hope you enjoy !

Your history with Kuroo Tetsuro went back a little bit further than you’d like to admit.

He had been in your class for all three years you were at Nekoma, but you had really only popped onto each other’s radars second year.

He had been assigned the seat next to you, and while you were upset that your best friend, Eri, had been sat all the way across the room, you didn’t exactly mind the view.

Right off the bat, you knew this was going to be trouble for you.

The guy was cute, funny, and smart. How hadn’t you noticed him before?

“Hey, L/N-chan,” he said, already making you blush with the addition of the honorific, “I have many chemistry jokes… but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction!”

You couldn’t stop either the face palm or the giggle that slipped out of your lips.

Kuroo was an easy person to get along with. He always greeted you in the mornings, and never really bothered you during class. On the rare occasion he stayed in the classroom for lunch, the two of you would strike up a conversation, but it never went past the surface.

Until about halfway through the school year. Your teacher had assigned a project that required a partner.

You looked to Eri, only to find the little traitor pairing up with the guy she had been eyeing since first year.

You sighed, not even mad at her for trying to shoot her shot.

“Want to be partners?” your head shot to the boy next to you.

“Uhm. Sure!”

And so it went like this; the project was due at the end of the year, requiring a research paper, and a 7 minute power point presentation.

Once or twice a week, the two of you would meet up at the school library either before school or after your club activities.

Kuroo was smart; smarter than you but you’d never say that to his face, so more often than not, the two of you would finish what needed to be done that day, and spent the rest of the time just talking, and getting to know each other.

By the third time the two of you had gotten kicked out by the librarian for laughing too much, Kuroo suggested meeting at his house on the weekends.

Surely that doesn’t mean what you think it means right???

It doesn’t, lmao. This guy was a good student, he made sure you guys finished your parts, because there was no way he was going to get anything less than an A.

Oh, you guys finished a little early today? Great! L/N-chan! Help me with my receives!

As the weeks pass by, there was a mutual progression in the relationship, neither of you seeing each other as project partners anymore, and falling into a comfortable friendship.

For Kuroo, that is. You, on the other hand, just became way too good at acting like you weren’t falling in love.

The school year is coming to a close, and you turn in your project.

Surprise, surprise! You guys got an A.

Seriously, the teacher said she was going to start using it as an example for the future students.

You couldn’t even be happy about your passing grade; you were too sad that your time with Kuroo was ending.

“Well, it was really fun being your partner this year,” you said, and Kuroo cocked an eyebrow at you.

“Why do you sound like someone’s dying,” he joked, “Anyway, Kenma said he bought a new game, but it’s multiplayer. What time are you coming this weekend?”

Bitch, ya heart nearly jumped out of your chest.

For a little while, you were content with things being like that. You had become good friends with not just Kuroo, but Kenma as well. You guys weren’t always together, but definitely made a point to make time for each other.

While you guys were usually busy during the week, club activities, homework and school taking up most of your time, Saturdays at Kuroo’s had become a thing well into your third year. As much as possible, you would try to attend his games, and he would try to bring you snacks when he knows you’re stuck studying.

You tried really hard not to read into the things he would do for you.

Surely, he’s also held Kenma’s bag while walking him home, right?

He’s memorized his whole team’s schedule; it’s nothing special if he also has yours memorized.

You know that he only brought you lunch today because he had to share half of his when you forgot yours.

All normal friend stuff, right! Right?!

“I met a cute girl the other day,” he said to you absentmindedly one morning before class.

Wait. Your chest shouldn’t feel so tight, should it? Your eyes are swimming, and your head is floating. Every breath feels like lead in your lungs, and you kinda wished the ground would swallow you whole.

“Oh, Really?” you tried to be nonchalant, and hoped he didn’t notice the shakiness in your voice.

He nodded. “Yeah… she’s kinda funny.”

But you were really funny, weren’t you? You were the one that made him laugh like a hyena, made him clutch his stomach and gasp for breath, right?

“Is that so?” your mouth felt like sandpaper, “Why don’t you try taking her out on a date?”

You wish you had never said those words.

You knew the girl he was talking about; you had seen Kuroo approach her in the hallway.

She was your teammate in the track and field club; not one of the fastest, but she was beautiful, kind, friendly, and Kuroo was right – she really was kind of funny.

“You should have told him first, you know,” Kenma had mumbled from next to you once, eyes never leaving his game while yours quickly shot him a glare.

It was just the two of you at the lunch table – Kuroo mumbling an excuse about having plans with another “friend”.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kenma just rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

You spend the next few weeks avoiding him; it was easier since he didn’t sit next to you in class anymore, you weren’t really replying to his texts as often, you stopped visiting him and Kenma at practice, and you had missed the game you had told them you would try to go to.

You were kind of starting to realize that it was mostly you that had to go and seek them out.

Now that you weren’t doing these things… where was he?

You would catch a glimpse of Kuroo when he would visit your teammate during practice; he would try to greet you but you’d only shoot him a tight smile.

So when you heard a loud knock on your door at eight o clock in the evening, the last person you expected was the roosterhead himself.

“Hey,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I could tell something was bothering you, and I’ve been trying to give you your space, but… it’s been weeks now so, I just have to know… Are you avoiding me?”

You didn’t really know what to say, if there is even anything else to. Even with your head down and eyes trained to your feet, you could feel the burn of his gaze.

“I...” the deep timbre of his voice always managed to give you chills, “I miss you.”

Is he fucking serious right now? He’s so smart, yet he can’t put two and two together? He can see his opponents’ moves before they happen, yet he can’t even see you standing right in front of him?

“I have feelings for you, Kuroo,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Kuroo’s eyes widened by a fraction, his mouth slightly hung agape, dumbfounded by your seemingly random confession.

Except, it wasn’t random to you. You’ve been harboring these feelings for months, and after hurting yourself by staying silent for so long, you decided that you deserve better.

You’ll accept whatever the outcome, if that’s the price for your peace.

“Y/N…” it took him a long time to finally speak, and you try to ignore the fact that this is the first time he’s called you by your first name.

His face clearly showed his struggle to get the words out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I –“

You raised your hand. You didn’t really want to hear any more than that.

“It’s okay,” you said, giving him a small smile.

And with that, you shut the door on Kuroo Tetsuro.

You do your best to move on, smiling and laughing with friends you wouldn’t usually talk to you, ignoring the ghost of your past that haunt you every time you walked passed by Kuroo and your teammate down the hall.

You throw back a laugh at whatever the person next to you had said, turning away to miss the fact that Kuroo’s eyes always followed you wherever you went.

Graduation day came and in the blink of an eye, your days at Nekoma were behind you.

The days passed, the seasons changed, the flowers bloomed, and then they died.

You started university, moving to a different city and living with the very same best friend whose betrayal to quench her own thirst became the catalyst for your greatest heartbreak.

You’ve forgiven her for that though, you guess.

Life in college was the breath of fresh air that you needed.

New things to learn, new places to discover, and new faces to help you forget the scars of old ones.

Years pass by, and while you’ve allowed yourself to feel the touch of others, allow them to make you laugh, allow them to make you cry, you’ve never really allowed yourself the luxury of falling in love again.

Who has time for that any way?

Definitely not you. You just needed to finish your undergrad, and get into med school.

You had plans for your life, you weren’t going to compromise your dreams just for another person, and no matter whom you dated or how much they liked you, this fact had always rubbed them the wrong way.

You were finally starting your last year at your undergrad, quite possibly one of the most important years of college, what with your thesis, med school applications, and your entire future pretty much on the line, no big deal.

Your first class of the day was chemistry. You had been avoiding the last chemistry class required by your degree, all of your friends telling you that it was one of the hardest classes they’ve ever taken, and so naturally, you ran away for as long as possible.

The class wasn’t due to start for another fifteen minutes when you walked in, giving you a perfect opportunity to grab a seat of your liking.

You ended up choosing one in the third row – you knew that if you sat in the back, you wouldn’t pay attention.

You take out your laptop, books, and all required materials, using this free time to check any emails from your professors.

You were checking the time – 5 minutes left until class started – when you were interrupted.

“L/N-chan?”

Your feel your body stiffen up at the sound of a voice you hadn’t heard in years.

You turn your head to your left, hoping to all the gods that maybe you were mistaken.

“Kuroo?” you said in disbelief, and oh honey… you could not believe he was standing right before you.

Kuroo seemed like he hadn’t changed at all. His hair seemed a little bit more managed, he was a little bit taller, his muscles filled out his shirt better… but he still had the same goofy smile on his face, and that undeniably mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“What are you doing here?” you blurted out. “I thought you went to a university in Tokyo?”

“I did, but I transferred this year,” he said, “This university has a great marketing program.”

“I can’t believe it,” you mumble out, more so to yourself than him, “It’s been years.”

He gave you a smile. “It has.”

He took the seat next to you, much to your surprise. You almost wanted to open your mouth in protest, but what could you say? ‘You can’t sit there’?

You were thankful that the class had only gone over the syllabus, because you didn’t hear a word the professor said.

When you told Eri about it later, she just laughed.

“I always thought Kuroo-san was a nice guy,” she commented, her back turned while she cooked the both of you dinner.

“I never said he wasn’t,” you said, throwing back the rest of the wine in your glass.

“What, you still like him or something?” Eri teased, plating the noodles she had created and setting it in front of you.

“Of course not,” you grumbled, stabbing at the plate with a fork, and the amused look on Eri’s face tells you that her silence was just to placate you.

The next few weeks of the semester went by without any incident.

Kuroo stayed in the seat next to you, and you didn’t let yourself wonder why.

You were proud at yourself for being able to talk to Kuroo the way that you were; he still made the same stupid chemistry jokes in high school, but now you felt like you could laugh at them without choking on the air around you.

It was easy.

Until it wasn’t.

“Alright everyone,” your professor began one rainy morning, “We’re about halfway through the semester, and this is usually around the time I like to assign a little project.”

All of a sudden, you felt a strange feeling of déjà vu.

“Now, it’s only going to be worth about a third of your grade in the class, so I suggest not slacking off on this one. This is going to require a partner, and before you go texting your bestie that you want to ‘link up’, I’ve taken the liberty of assigning your partner for you.”

Oh, Christ. You were praying you wouldn’t get partnered up with a dead weight.

“When I call your name, raise your hand so I could introduce you to your new partner.”

You waited patiently for your name to be called, but Kuroo’s had been called first.

“Kuroo Testuro.”

Kuroo raised his hand.

“Your partner will be... let’s see here… ah, L/N F/N!”

No. No fucking way.

Your arm involuntarily raised, the professor nodding his head in acknowledgement.

You slowly turn to face Kuroo, who had an unreadable smile placed on his lips, your professor’s voice droning on in the background.

“Well,” he said, laughter laced in his words, “Isn’t this familiar?”

At first, you felt incredibly apprehensive at the thought of being partnered with your high school crush, but at the end of the day, you were actually incredibly thankful.

Kuroo was just as smart and diligent as he was back then, and you had every confidence that your project was going to get the highest grade.

You tried to make it a point to meet in public places – cafes, libraries, and the like.

But soon, Kuroo suggested that it would just be easier and more comfortable to meet at either your place or his.

He only ever came by when Eri was home too, which would have been fine if the smirk on her face didn’t make you so nervous.

You noticed that his roommate was always around when you came over as well. You learned his name was Bokuto, and though he was a little loud, his presence was actually a little comforting.

Honestly, it all felt so… nostalgic. Whenever you would finish your work for the day, then the two of you would spend the time talking, catching up, and laughing at stupid jokes, almost as if the two of you were friends again.

Almost like nothing happened between you at all.

“Hey,” you started one day, curiosity getting the better of you after a particularly steamy conversation about past relationships, sitting on the floor with your iPad on your lap and homework strewn about all over the living room floor, “Whatever happened between you and that girl from high school?”

Kuroo just gave you a sad smile, and you thought she must have broken his heart pretty badly.

“Oh that…” he waved it off, “That was a mistake. A big one.”

You figured it was better not to ask any more questions.

Eri walked out of her room soon after Kuroo left that night, her arms crossed and leaning against the door’s archway as she watched you wash the dishes.

You guys are getting pretty close,” she mused.

She couldn’t see you roll your eyes. “Well, yeah, we were pretty good friends in high school.”

Eri let out a humorless laugh. “I stand by my statement that Kuroo-san is a nice guy,” she said, walking up next to you to place a hand on your shoulder, “But I haven’t forgotten how long it took you to get over what happened.”

Your hands stilled in the soapy water for a second, but you chose not to say anything.

“I’m just saying,” Eri started to walk back to her room, calling out her last words behind her shoulder, “Be careful.”

Eri’s words echoed in your head whenever you were with Kuroo.

Every time he offered to pay for your food, you made sure to insist you’d pay for it yourself. If he tried to grab your bag from your shoulder when you walked, you’d hold on tighter and say you were fine.

You didn’t avoid him like you did before, but you made every attempt to keep him at arm’s length.

It seems your attempts were all for nothing, however, when the semester ended.

“Amazing job,” were the words that came from your professor when giving your passing grade.

“We did it,” Kuroo said happily, the two of you making your way out of the class, “It’s finally over.”

“Thank god,” you laughed back.

“Hey,” Kuroo started, though he was looking at everywhere but you, “Bokuto’s gone and visiting his boyfriend for the weekend, but I was wondering if you wanted to come over for drinks later?”

You blinked, trying to even your breathing.

“You know, to celebrate the end of the semester, and acing that nightmare class.”

You should say no, right? Wait, but you’re grown now. You’ve moved on from what happened back then. The two of you did work really hard this semester, what’s wrong with celebrating your achievements?

“I think we’ve earned it,” Kuroo laughed.

“Yeah,” you said, and you were glad for it just from the smile that spread on his stupid face, “We really have! I’ll be there.”

“See you at eight?”

You nodded at his words as he waved goodbye, going your separate ways.

Ten hours later, you were sitting next to Kuroo on his living room floor, sake cup full to the brim as BNHA plays on his TV.

“Ah, Deku’s in the hospital,” Kuroo slurred, sake sloshing out of his cup when he pointed to the screen, “That’s a shot!”

The two of you threw back the warm liquid, and you were kind of worried that it didn’t taste like anything anymore.

“Kuroo,” you laughed, “We’re only on the second episode… and I think I’ve taken, like, twelve shots at this point.”

“This was your idea!”

“Well, I have another idea,” you started to get up, causing Kuroo to get up as well, “Let’s order take out!”

He laughed at your red face, agreeing with you.

You started to make your way to the couch, but all of a sudden, you felt dizzy, a head rush taking over your senses as you stumbled over your feet.

Kuroo caught you before you could hit the floor.

“You okay?” he laughed, and the sound of it elicited a laugh from your own lips.

In a second, the two of you erupted in giggles, snickering at nothing in particular while his strong arms still held you in place.

Suddenly, you were hyperaware of his touch on your skin, and you let your eyes trail from the strong hands around your waist, to the golden honey eyes that were already staring at your face.

You can’t exactly remember how, but the next thing you knew, you were pinned under Kuroo on his bed, his soft lips moving in tandem with yours while his hot tongue took over your whole mouth.

Your arms were looped around his neck, and he slid his calloused hands up your arm.

You felt his hands grip onto your wrists before he pulled them off his necked and pinned them onto the mattress.

You took in a deep breath once he disconnected from your mouth, planting a trail of kisses along your jaw line and down to your neck, before you slid his tongue across your supple skin.

You shivered, acutely aware of the fact that he has you trapped.

“Be careful,” Eri’s words echoed in your mind.

Fuck, you tried to think but it was hard when Kuroo just threw his shirt across the room, hovering over you with chiseled abs and defined muscles.

The heat returned to your body when he lowered his head, and popped a hard nipple into his mouth.

Your body arched at the feel of his teeth grazing against your skin, goosebumps racing when he dipped his hand beneath your underwear, a slender finger gliding down your folds before inserting into you.

You weren’t prepared for the intrusion, and he captured the gasp that came out of your mouth with his lips.

He was now holding down both of your wrists with one hand, never realizing that he was that much bigger than you.

He slid out his finger, bringing it to his mouth to give a long lick, before dipping his hand back down, and pushing in two.

You threw your head back when Kuroo curled his fingers, wondering how the hell he was able to find your g spot so quickly.

You felt like an animal caught in his trap, caged in with your arms pinned down, no choice but to let Kuroo draw out your orgasm while he pumped and curled into you, circling his thumb over your swollen clit.

Your legs were shaking while you screamed out his name, embarrassed that you were cumming so hard when he hasn’t even actually fucked you

He didn’t give you a chance to recover from your orgasm

In one swift movement, Kuroo let go of your hands and pulled out his fingers so he could grab a leg in each hand to fold you over in a press.

You don’t even know when Kuroo had taken his pants – or yours – off, and you didn’t have time to wonder.

A moan escaped your lips at the feel of his length filling you up, and you distinctly hear Kuroo tell you to say his name.

“Kuroo,” you moaned, bringing your hands to his shoulders, grasping at his body.

Every buck of his hips shot a jolt of pleasure throughout your body, unable to escape the feeling with Kuroo holding you down in place.

Who the hell would want to escape from here anyway?

“My first name,” he growled, quickening his pace when he felt your walls tighten around his dick.

“Tetsuro!” you screamed without a second thought, the brutal rhythm Kuroo has set driving heat onto your stomach, repeating his name over and over even after you feel your pussy gushing all over him, your cum dripping down from his shaft to his balls.

“Fuck,” Kuroo growled out, driving into you one last time before he spilled hot white, trying hard to catch his breath while coming down from this high.

The two of you lay together in the darkness for a while, your head on his chest and his arms around his shoulder.

The silence that surrounded the room was comfortable; almost like a bubble of peace that neither of you wanted to pop by saying anything.

“Be careful,” Eri’s fucking voice told you, yet again

While you didn’t regret what had just happened between you and Kuroo, doubts were beginning to creep in your mind.

What the hell was supposed to happen now? You’re not sure if Kuroo was expecting this outcome when he invited you over for drinks, but it happened, and you’re not really sure where to go from here.

You’ve already built a life for yourself – one that was truly yours – and you had a path that you had every intention to follow.

Would Kuroo be like every other guy and run away when he finds out you’re not compromising your plans for him? Would you even want to try to fit him into your plans?

You shake your head.

Jesus, get a grip. A guy dicks you down /once/, and all of a sudden you’re thinking about this shit?

“Y/N? You okay?” He asked from beside you.

You lift your head from his chest, sitting up so you could lean your back against his headboard. Kuroo was quick to mirror your actions.

“Kuroo,” you begin to tell him, and he frowned a little at the sound of his last name, “That was… amazing.”

Kuroo blushed a little at your compliment, though he knew it didn’t stop there. “…But?”

“But,” you bit your lip, “I’m not really looking for anything serious right now.”

Kuroo didn’t respond right away, but maybe that’s because you just kept babbling. “It’s just… I have so much going on with school, not to mention grad school applications are due in a few months, and who knows which university I’ll end up going to after graduation…”

You finally had the courage to look at him, and you caught a glimpse of what you would have thought was sadness in his eyes if it hadn’t been blinked away so quickly, soon replaced with that same unreadable smile.

“Whatever you want, Kitten,” he replied, “This doesn’t have to be anything more than what it is.”

You let out a breath of relief.

He walked you home that night (or morning, considering it was 1am), still trying your best to set boundaries even though you pretty much let him thoroughly wreck you.

He didn’t give you a kiss goodbye, instead sheepishly waving when he sees you entering the door to your apartment, saying he’ll shoot you a text tomorrow.

You thought things would be weird between the two of you after that night, but you were happy to find that it wasn’t.

You had managed to rekindle your friendship with Kuroo – meeting up to study, grabbing lunch if you had the time, maybe catching the occasional movie.

Though, you didn’t tell Eri about the added benefits.

(Kuroo Tetsu-hoe) Today: 12:37AM

You up?

[To: Kuroo Tetsu-hoe] Today: 12:49AM

Yeah, doing my Lit. paper.

(Kuroo Tetsu-hoe) Today: 12:50AM

Wanna do me instead?

[To: Kuroo Tetsu-hoe] Today: 12:58AM

Say less.

ou didn’t have to tell Eri about the added benefits – she wasn’t dumb, where else would her roommate be going in the middle of night?

You’ve had other men before, going through your fair share of sexual experiences before climbing into bed with Kuroo.

But he was still managing to show you new things, reaching spots you never even knew existed before, putting his mouth in places that made your eyes water and lungs burn from gasping for air.

You can’t explain the feeling you get when he’s running his hands across your body, and when he stares at you and nothing but you while he’s pumping into you and making you feel so full in more ways than one, it’s something akin to a chemical reaction.

There was one time, when he took a belt, secured it against his head post before he brought your legs up to –

“Earth to Y/N,” Kuroo said, waving a hand in front of your face.

“Sorry,” you said, shrugging your shoulders, “I was having a flashback.”

Kuroo smirked, knowing exactly what you meant.

The two of you were lying in bed, your back against his chest and a strong arm wrapped around your waist.

You laid your hand on top of his, fiddling with his fingers and reveling in the calm that always came from being with Kuroo.

“What you thinking about?” You ask, and the way he stiffened up in your grip let you know that something really was bothering him.

It took him a little longer than you’d like before he replied.

“Do you ever feel like… you want more?”

This time, it was you that stilled in his arms.

“Be Careful.”

You turned around to face Kuroo.

“I thought we talked about this?”

Kuroo’s eyes searched your face, for what, you have no idea. But you stared back with just as much intensity, hoping that he would find the answer he was looking for.

Fear. That’s what was written all over your face.

Kuroo let out a humorless laugh. “Forget I said anything.”

He stood up to put his boxers on and slipping on a shirt before heading out onto the balcony that was attached to his room.

You gave him a few moments before getting up to gather your clothes from the floor, silently putting them on before you joined him outside.

You find him leaning against the balcony railing on his forearms, a cigarette lit in one hand.

He doesn’t turn his head towards you, but he does offer his cigarette, and you take it quietly.

You bring the white filter to your lips, taking a deep drag, closing your eyes when you feel your head get lighter, and releasing the smoke from your lungs.

“Kuroo,” you started, voice nothing but a soft whisper, “I’m sorry… I didn’t – “

He raised a hand to stop you.

“It’s fine,” he replied. “Like I said, forget I mentioned anything.”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, taking his cigarette back from you and taking a drag himself, “Kenma’s having a party this weekend. They’re inviting over some old classmates from Nekoma. He says he misses you. You should come.”

Your ears perk up at the invitation, excited at the thought of seeing your old friend and a little happy that he’s moving past the subject.

"Kenma? Is having a party?”

Kuroo laughed. “Alright. Yaku is having a party, but we’re doing it at Kenma’s place. It’s actually not that far from here, just one train ride.”

You chuckled, shaking your head knowingly.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” you agreed, “But, uhm… I’ll just meet you there?”

Kuroo nodded. “Yeah. I’ll just meet you there.”

You didn’t see Kuroo the rest of that week.

You weren’t sure what it was – he wasn’t ignoring you, he replied to your text messages and answered your calls.

But he hadn’t once asked you to come over. And after what happened that night, you were scared to ask him to come over.

The night of Kenma’s party came, and you entered to find way more people than you had expected. You didn’t recognize more than half of the people there, but relief washed over you when Yaku threw an arm around your shoulder.

You didn’t see Kuroo right away when you arrived, but you were too distracted at the joy from seeing some of your old classmates.

You were half way through a game of beer pong with Lev as your partner before Kuroo was able to make an appearance.

He made his rounds, saying his greetings to everyone before stopping at you, giving you a friendly one armed hug.

You didn’t want to admit that you were a bit sad at the generic greeting.

Was it because maybe… you want…. mor –

“Y/N! Shoot the damn ping pong ball,” Lev exclaimed, and you were shook out of your reverie.

Kuroo excused himself, saying he was going to the kitchen to make himself a drink, but you were too focused on winning your game to notice.

Before you knew it, you lost three to two against Kenma and Yamamoto, cursing at Lev for forcing you to carry the team on your back.

By this point, the alcohol had spread all through your system. You were still able to walk straight, but with considerable effort. The words that came out of your mouth were just a little slurred, and you were kind of having a hard time controlling the volume of your voice.

“Where’s Kuroo?” you asked Yaku, who instantly shot a hand up to rub his ear.

“Jesus, woman, you don’t have to yell, I am /right here,” he grumbled, but he still let you sling an arm around his shoulders for support. “I thought he went into the kitchen to get some drinks?”

That’s right, he said that. But that was hours ago. Where could he be?

You stagger away from Yaku, pushing your way past unfamiliar bodies to get to the kitchen.

The first thing you saw when you tripped into the kitchen was Kuroo, dressed in a fitted black shirt and blue jeans, looking every bit the Greek God he was as he leaned against the counter. His arms were crossed atop his broad chest, a drink in one hand.

He was talking to someone, and you thought you recognized the long black hair that flowed from the back of their head, but were too distracted studying the veins that protruded from Kuroo’s forearms.

You opened your mouth to call out to him when the person in front of him stepped up, pressing their body into his. She uncrossed his arms and snaked two long arms around his neck.

You recognized her in that instant.

It was his ex from high school.

Looking down, you were surprised to see your clothes dry, because it felt like someone poured a bucket of ice water directly on top of your head.

“Be careful,” Eri’s words echoed in your head for the ten millionth time.

Yet here you were

In the same exact place you were a little over three years ago.

You scoffed at yourself.

Well, there’s nothing else for you here now, is there?

You shoot Yaku and Kenma a quick text in a group chat to let them know you were leaving.

The air outside was cold, your breath coming out in puffs. You wrapped your jacket around a little tighter, cursing yourself silently for not wearing a scarf cause it’ll ‘ruin the outfit.’

“Hey, the party’s that way.”

The sudden voice behind you nearly made you jump ten feet in the air.

“Jesus, you really are like a fucking cat.”

Kuroo chuckled.

For some reason, the sound made you angry. You kept walking, following the path of dimmed street lights that led you to the train station.

“Yeah, but home’s this way.”

His heavy footsteps trailed behind you.

“Great, I was getting tired of the party anyway.”

“What are you doing here?” You finally turned your head to him and asked.

Your voice was surprisingly clear and even, despite the unsteadiness of the ground beneath you.

“What do you mean? I’m walking you home.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s late, and you’re my friend.”

‘Friend’. The word made you wince, even though you were the one that drilled the idea into his head.

“I saw you talking to your ex,” you grumbled, crossing your arms and turning the other direction.

You could practically feel his smirk.

“Oya? Is that jealousy I’m hearing in those words?”

You felt your face get hot.

“Of course not!”

- “I thought we were just friends?”

“Will you shut up for once in your life, idiot!”

He wanted to tease you some more, but was stopped by the pensive look on your face.

“Why would you leave the girl that broke your heart behind just to walk me home?”

Kuroo looked at you with a confused expression.

“Girl that broke my heart?”

You nodded. “When I asked you about her, you said she was a big mistake.”

Kuroo stopped walking. You turned your head back to look at him curiously when he doubled over in a full bellied laugh.

“Are you laughing at me?!” You asked incredulously, giving him a glare from where you stood.

“You... you think she’s the one that broke my heart?”

Kuroo wiped a fake tear from his eye.

“Wow. That was a good one.”

“What the hell are you going on about, Kuroo?”

The jovial look on Kuroo’s face slowly faded, the entertained smile on his face shrinking his lips into a thin line.

“Y/N, she didn’t break my heart.”

Now it was your turn to be confused.

“You want to know why I said she was a big mistake?” Kuroo took a step towards you, “It was because of her that I lost you.”

Your jaw dropped.

Kuroo ran his fingers through his hair, ruining the perfectly waxed locks that he had spent thirty minutes styling.

“Please don’t run away when I tell you this.”

You couldn’t move your feet even if you wanted to.

“The only reason I ever brought her up to you in the first place was because I wanted to see your reaction. I wanted to know if you would get jealous. But without hesitation, you told me that I should just go ahead and date her, and you know dumb young men and their pride... then... it just... snowballed into something I didn’t even...”

Kuroo couldn’t finish his sentence.

Your vision begins to shake.

“But... but I confessed to you!”

“Yeah, then you slammed the door in my face and stopped talking to me!”

You couldn’t deny that.

“Do you have any idea how confusing that was for a teenage boy? I had no idea what the hell was going on, one day, I blinked and I was stuck with a girl I didn’t love while I watched my best friend smile and laugh and walk passed me like I never even existed.”

You swallowed the guilty lump that was caught in your throat.

“All I knew was that you weren’t around anymore; you weren’t there to make me laugh with your dumb jokes, you weren’t coming over and leaving your presence all over my room, nothing, it was all gone, and it all felt so fucked up. Being without you felt so fucked up.”

Had Kuroo always felt this way? Were you really so busy running away from him that you couldn’t even see that he was hurting too?

“Now the universe or the gods or whatever brought me back to you, and it’s like everything makes sense again, and fuck, all I want to do is just show you how much I’ve missed you, how much I care, how much I love you.”

You gasped, and you were waiting for Kuroo to try and take those words back, but the resolve was painted in his eyes.

“But all you do is just keep me at arms length. You wanted to be just friends when I wanted everything.”

You choked back a sob, tears were now steadily streaming down your face.

Kuroo closed the space between you, wrapping one arm around your waist while bring his other head to wipe at your tears with the pad of his thumb.

“She wasn’t the girl that broke my heart. You were.”

He moved to place his fingers on your chin, tilting your head up to force you to look at his eyes.

He wanted you to see that he meant every single word.

“If this is all you’re willing to give me, I’ll take it. I’ll break my own heart. Every day, over and over again, if that’s what it takes to be with you.”

His voice was in a whisper now, bringing his lips to kiss both sides of your cheeks.

“Because I love you.”

He brought his hands to cup for your face before pulling you in for a kiss.

This wasn’t anything like you’ve ever experienced before.

Every time his tongue brushed against yours, you felt all the love adoration he was trying to convey in this one physical act, hoping he could transfer it all into your lips.

It felt like time stopped just for the two of you, to have this moment in the middle of the sidewalk, bathed in the orange glow of the street light that hung above you.

He pulled away finally, resting his forehead on yours for just a second before he engulfed you with his arms.

His head rested on top of yours, feeling the vibrations as he spoke.

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he said nervously. “Do you want something more?”

You wiggle out of his grip just so you can move your hands up to caress his cheek.

“Tetsuro... I love you so much.”

Later that night, in the safety of your room and away from Eri’s judgmental eyes at the two of you stumbling in and giggling through the door, you trace small circles on Kuroo’s chest with your fingers while Kuroo had an arm wrapped around you tightly.

“Hey, Tetsu,” you broke the silence with a whisper, “What if I end up going to grad school that was... further away?”

Kuroo couldn’t help but smile and shake his head. You were never going to change.

Not like he would ever want you to.

“Y/N... we didn’t talk for three years, and not once did I stop thinking about you. A little distance isn’t going to get rid of me.”

You try to bury your face in embarrassment.

If he had to spend every day of the rest of his life reassuring you that he’ll be by your side no matter what, well - that’s just too easy.

You find yourself holding onto him a little bit tighter, making a silent vow that never again were you going to push away Kuroo Tetsuro.

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