#am i too dumb for this or is this not how you should do research?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tlou-reid · 3 months

Note

Hiii! I absolutely love your writing and I was wondering if you could write something about Spencer reid and reader who have just started dating and they get into their first ever argument and it’s a bit angsty but cute(?) cause he gets all worried while reader is more experienced in the relationship department so she (or gn!reader, your choice) doesn’t worry as much cause she knows it doesn’t mean they’re over? And then he gets all pouty and clingy when they make up cause he hated being far from her sm🫶 I know its very specific and idk weird so its totally okay if you don’t wanna write it but I’d really appreciate it!!!

as an insecure certified lover girl i love this request and i am so sorry it took me so long to get to <3

spencer was not expecting you to leave. to argue, to complain, even to berate, but to leave? the thought the didn’t even cross his mind.

the argument had started over something stupid, probably like a teasing remark that had gone too far, or the fact that he had been nagging you about doing the dishes. he wasn’t sure. all that filled his mind now was the fact that you walked out the door and slammed it behind you. he wasn’t sure where you went to, or if you were coming back.

yet, he was frozen in place. his knees had begun to shake as tears started to well up in his eyes. for a genius, you are really fucking stupid, he thought. he couldn’t believe he blew things with you, already.

you two hadn’t officially been together long. only around 3 months, but had spent much more time together prior to that. he was truly falling for you, something he wasn’t expecting to do. he loved the way you laughed and the way you listened to him. he loved that you were always there to greet him with a wide smile and a tight hug when you he came back from cases. he loved being around you and he loved the positive energy you put out.

and he just ruined all of that over some stupid argument.

spencer was rarely one to be unsure. after all, he is a genius, so there wasn’t many things he didn’t know. but, standing alone in front of his apartment door, he was clueless. should he run after you? should he wait it out? should he start packing up all of the things you’ve left at his apartment over these three months? he didn’t know.

so, like with most things he didn’t know, he was going to research. sure, to the common person googling “what to do after a fight with your girlfriend” would be corny, maybe even a little dumb, but not to spencer. when he couldn’t figure stuff out, he found other sources that could. so that’s what he was trying to do now.

much to spencer’s dismay, he was met with a whole bunch of editorials. not a single academic paper, dissertation, or research project had been conducted on the topic. so, he took what he could get and began reading over the newest People Magazine article titled “steps to making your girlfriend happy after being a bad boyfriend”.

he wasn’t sure how long he’d been reading, or how many different pop culture magazine websites he’d accidentally signed up for on his old desktop by the time his phone rang. it startled him, but he moved quickly to get it, assuming it was hotch calling him to come in for a case.

his heart sped up but his stomach dropped when he saw your first name, with the little otter emoji next to it. you had picked it, spencer didn’t even know there was an otter emoji.

his thumb slid over the answer button as quickly as he could move it, but once he brought the phone up to his ear, spencer couldn’t find any words.

the line was silent for a minute. you weren’t sure if he was even breathing on the other side. you wanted to give yourself time to cool off, separate from spencer. his little remark about your poor cooking skills had gotten to you, and you didn’t want it to become a massive argument. you didn’t know that spencer had spiraled after you left.

“are you going to come over or what?” you couldn’t help but let the residual anger you were holding slip out. despite this, spencer’s breath caught in his throat. you heard him take a deep exhale before saying, “you want me to come over?”

the desperation in his voice was so apparent, it broke your heart. any anger you were holding onto, or any bitterness about the comment he made completely wiped away when you heard spencer’s voice. you guessed that he had probably been crying. you softened your tone, and spoke slowly as you answered him, “of course i want you to come over, spence. we don’t get to have two sleepovers in a row very often.”

spencer’s hand was shaking as he listened to your words. he thought for sure you were going to break up with him. all he said was, “i’m on my way.” before hanging up.

you shouldn’t have been surprised at spencer throwing himself in your arms when you opened the door for him. he always craved physical touch, despite his fear of germs. he knew you and he cherished you, and all he wanted was to be close to you.

your hand snaked around his back as he buried his head in your shoulder. you tried to pretend you couldn’t feel the tears escaping from him. he wasn’t sobbing, there was just other way for him to have the emotional release he needed than to allow his tears to fall. your hand rubbed lovingly over his back, letting him adjust to being back with you.

“i’m so sorry,” he muttered against you. his hands were balled up between you two and you could feel him nervously squeezing his fists tighter. “spencer, it’s okay,” you assured.

you pulled away from him, only to wipe his tears away and move his hair out of his face. despite his height, he looked so tiny and vulnerable. “i didn’t mean to upset you,” he whined. “it’s okay,” you repeated, grabbing his hand to move him to the sofa.

you sat across from him, but he stared at the floor. “i thought you were breaking up with me,” he muttered. his voice was quiet and gentle. you couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “why would i do that?” you moved closer to him, tucking his hair behind his ear to get him to look at you. “i-i don’t know! you just left and you were angry and i thought you weren’t coming back,” tears were filling up his eyes again as he finally met your gaze.

“spence,” you cooed, “couples fight and sometimes they need space. a little argument like that is nothing. we’re okay,” you promised him. he nodded, then reached out to pull you into his chest. “i don’t like when you storm out like that,” he said. “‘m sorry,” you mumbled against him. he just nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

512 notes · View notes

smolvenger · 10 months

Text

The Ceremony (Loki x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: You and your dear prince, Loki of Asgard, are finally getting married. But in order for the marriage to be legitimate, your wedding night and consummation must be witnessed...

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: 18+ SMUT Y'ALL ! SMUT! SMUT IN THE LAST THIRD! Voyeurism, loss of virginity, fem receiving oral, p in v sex, dirty talk, loss of innocence kink and some possessiveness kink. But lots of fluff, especially romantic, wedding fluff. Loki is a good protective fiancee/husband. I did wee research on Norse weddings but it's not about the accuracy, it's about the vibes.

A/N: This was written especially for @lokisprettygirl/ @lokisprettygirl22 (if I tag the wrong person, I apologize!) Follower Count Celebration as a submission! Wanted to try something I always wanted to write and get a new piece out there! Enjoy!

Comments, reblogs, dms, and asks about my work are always appreciated!

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over (with one small bit inspired by the weddings headcanons! :) ) @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

“The Wedding Night must be witnessed by the court in order for the marriage to be valid,” Heimdall announced.

There was a silence over the table where all of you sat. Your jaw dropped and the look on the face of your intended prince Loki, became pure white. The other faces at the table all remained composed. Though Thor looked down a little, blushing.

Your dear Prince Loki asked you to marry him in his mother’s garden. You kissed him and said yes as you both cried happy tears and embraced. You were not born to royalty like he. You understood that there were certain parts of etiquette that had to be upheld. Traditions that would be honored. And everything you learned so far made sense and didn’t seem too bad or out of place. Bow to the AllFather as king. Use “please” and “thank you.” Watch your words. Show respect to the Allmother Frigga. All of that was common sense.

But this…this was different.

You had never lain with a man before. You and Loki shared heated kisses and embraces, but they were always interrupted before it could go further. Sif would walk in and clear her throat. Frigga would call to talk to her son. And then hearing on the insistence of a future princess being chaste, you thought it was pure dumb luck. After the engagement, both of you agreed to wait. So, there would be absolutely no reason for anyone to object to the marriage.

But the times you imagined what your first time would be like, you never imagined it being watched by others!

“There are…ways around it, but it is how it is done…and Y/N, your parents assured us you are…untouched, yes?” Heimdall asked, despite the slight embarrassment in his tone.

“Yes…yes I am,” you confirmed.

Loki glanced at you, then he stretched out a hand to hold yours on the table.

“We…we don’t have to do it. No one should force Y/N to do it!” he argued.

“First, we must guarantee a possible heir should Thor never have one.”

Thor flared his nostrils.

“Second and more important, we need certainty of the marriage’s consummation. It could risk annulment if not-then you both will not even be considered married.”

Loki moved his chair to be closer to you and wrapped a protective arm around you. You could feel him tighten up. Like he was going to whip out his daggers and fight Heimdall there and then.

“Could I have a say in this? A choice?” you voiced out.

The idea….of people all watching then turned in your head. It was a little nerve wracking. But something else was stirring inside you. Finally making love to the most desirable man in the nine realms as people watched became suddenly…titillating. You felt your lower innards already begin to anticipate it. It was no longer dread…it was excitement.

Loki gripped your hand and arm. Both of you shared a look and then you stared out at them. Faces all turned to you. Odin was quiet and crossed his arms. Frigga only folded her hands, but her eyes were soft. Her mouth half-open as if to speak, yet she didn’t. Thor’s eyes became giant, blue plates on his face, and he listened with intensity. Now they had to listen to you- their future princess.

“I say…we should do it. We will have the bedding ceremony. It’s tradition and might as well follow it. And that way, no one will question Loki being my husband, as he is in my heart already,” you announced.

Loki relaxed- you felt the muscles from his arm and the hold on his hand soften. He even blinked rapidly and began a slow smile.

“I have my consent for the bedding ceremony,” you announced.

Loki looked at them with a nod.

“If she is fine by it, then so am I.” he agreed.

Done and done. Heimdall nodded with a small smile-it was settled with only a minor conflict. The table then moved on to discuss other things about the wedding. One minute you were discussing the consummation, and next there was discussion of what color the bridesmaids would wear, and which roast meat to serve at the feast! When they got up and left, Loki practically pulled you aside. He touched your shoulders, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Y/N. Let me know. You don’t have to please them-you don’t have to let them force you to do anything you don’t want to. Please tell me- you can always tell me your secrets, darling. Y/N- are fine with the consummation ceremony?”

“Why do you ask?” you pressed.

Loki cupped your cheek with both hands. His voice grew intense.

“I swore to you to defend you. And this includes my own palace- I won’t let any of them humiliate you! I’ll kill them if they do!” he declared.

You leaned into his touch, kissing his hand. You gave him a smile. You reached up to touch his hand, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

“Loki…I…I am fine by it. I am…you need not worry. I think it will be nerve wracking, yes. I am not out of my wits to admit it. But it’s also…tantalizing. I like the idea of people watching us when we do it,” you replied.

You heard him let out a long exhale. Then he wrapped his arms around you to keep you close. You both looked up at each other. You could sense the adoration in his eyes. He was protective-because he cared about you. And that made you even prouder to call him yours.

“My dear lady…and soon my wife…if this is not under any pressure, and your decision…then it is yours and ours,” he said.

You gave him a kiss on the cheek. He flashed a smile that could make Jotun itself melt.

“Then…only a week?” you asked.

“Only a week.” He confirmed.

“But Loki, when I lie with you the first time…Will it hurt?”

He smiles.

“Maybe not…unless you beg me to hurt you…”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Seven days flew by. Before you knew it, the wedding arrived.

It was a beautiful, opulent wedding. Flowers decorated the place in every corner. There was going to be an altar, or a hörgr, placed on the throne room on a table. Even that was decorated. There were green ribbons tied around each column and table. After all, you were still marrying a prince! The guests were all bedecked in their finest clothes. Long silk gowns and velvet draping the floors. To make sure there was no doubt that this was a royal wedding.

Your bridesmaids did their best to calm you in the other room before it began. One squeezed your hand. The other smoothed out the skirt of your dress. Assuring you it would be alright.

It made your mind wander. You were about to lie with Prince Loki for the first time in front of others. It made your heartbeat faster. But no... that was for later. Now you only had to stand by at an altar and make vows before the AllFather. That was all. Nothing complicated.

“I heard that prince Loki himself is nervous! Pacing about the halls in his cape! All because he wants to be good for you! He’s the same as you are now!” one gossiped.

“Really?” you asked.

“Yes, really! Everyone gets nervous on their wedding day, Y/N!”

You did notice a little crumb on your dress from when all of you had snacks of bread, cheese, and grapes to keep you satiated before the meal. You laughed and wiped it off.

Your own gown was a white one- to represent innocence. Virtue. Though now that you were about to become a princess it sparkled everywhere in the long, full skirt. It was as if you were made of diamonds. But there was a touch of sensuality to it. The sleeves fell off your shoulders and revealed your neckline and collarbones. You had to smile at the big of cleavage it did show. To give Loki especially what he had to look forward to. Tonight, and all his nights.

Then it was announced for the marriage ceremony to begin. Your own parents went over to stand by you to give you away. to stand in the front row. To see you, their dear little girl, on her big day.

Servants held out lit candles for everyone. Thor's own seemed tiny in his big hands. Only Loki and Heimdall, who was performing the ceremony, did not hold any. Loki, bedecked in his armor, a smaller version of his helmet (he was worried if he kissed you, the larger helmet would knock down and whack you on the head before everyone watching), and green cape, turned to Thor.

"Brother, do not fret. I'll do the fretting for you!" Thor assured like a puppy wagging its tail. Thor couldn’t whisper if he tried, but his tone of voice was soft.

"How do I look?" Loki asked, rechecking to make sure his armor was clean for the hundredth time.

"Like a groom!” Thor assured him.

"Good..."

Thor patted a large hand on his shoulder. Then at the presence of so many flowers, the god of thunder sneezed a sneeze that could rattle bones into his arm.

The guests all took their places, standing around the great throne room. They began to murmur like an audience to a new play. Then a few lutes, woodwinds, and a harp began playing. It was finally time.

Down went wedding party. Walking slowly to savor the occasion. They stood in their places before the altar. The guests all smiled brightly.

But none as much as Loki when you walked out.

You walked down. You wore a veil over your face and saw it through that filter of white. But thin enough you could distinguish everything. It glittered like snow in the moonlight. You sensed that the guests smiled at you. Your mother and father escorted you down there. You saw the court shifting their faces. Just to get a glimpse of you walking by.

But you saw Loki at the altar through it. And feelings overflowed your chest to see him. Despite the trembling in his hands, when you walked out, he instantly relaxed. Both of you locked eyes. You saw a small ghost of a laugh that made his shoulders drop. The gold among his green and black robes seemed to glow even more.

You noticed Thor in his long, red cape and silver breastplate next to his brother. Odin in his own armor and Frigga with her hair done up and standing bedecked in a gold dress and an elaborate necklace beaming at you. Odin looked a little bored, but what did you care? You were marrying the love of your life! You would deal with your father-in-law’s nonsense later.

As you approached it, you handed your bouquet of flowers to a bridesmaid. Loki was standing taller when you got closer. His cheeks were red. You felt him warm up as you approached him. Then he took the veil and, with his powerful hands, lifted it from your face.

All the eyes were on you and your own bread was curdling in your stomach. But as you looked into his eyes, you felt it was all worth it. You had never seen Loki beam so happily in ages. Your father gave you a kiss on the forehead from over the veil. He placed your hand on Loki's. He then looked at the prince. Loki gave your father a wink and then both of you turned to face Heimdall.

You felt the god’s fingers between yours as he held it. You were entering this union together. IT was all you felt. It was like the world was just a buzz. The ringing of bells heard only in the distance. You turned your head to admire his handsome profile, and he looked back at you. For only a second, it was as if the two of you were alone in the realm. Then with an exhale, you both turned towards the altar.

"Dear people of Asgard, we are here to witness the matrimonial rite of Prince Loki, God of Mischief and Y/N. Now-make your vows to each other,” Heimdall intoned with his own powerful baritone, he raised a hand.

You both turned to each other, holding hands before the altar. Loki looked at you with his beautiful, blue eyes, and though they were wedding vows, they seemed to come naturally as if they were words just appearing in his mouth.

"I, Loki, do swear before the AllFather and AllMother, take you to be my wife, my friend, my lover, and my companion. From this day until only death parts us. Before our family and friends, I pledge you my fidelity, refusing all others as long as we live. My softest words and tenderest embraces. The protection of my crown, my magic, my sword, and my body. In battle and in peace. In sickness and in health. In joy and in sorrow. I shall respect and love you boundlessly, no matter what may happen to me or what you may do. I shall support and cherish you each morning, day and night. From this hour, as long as we both live."

The words from him sounded so lovely, you felt a small tear in the corner of your eye. But your smile never dropped.

With a steady voice, you said your own vows back at him. There was an exchange of swords between your families and Loki’s-to symbolize the protection you would give each other. Heimdall’s then brought two rings, conjured by magic. You each slipped a ring on the finger of the other. Perfectly fitting gold bands, golden as his helmet, as light, as warmth. Both of you peeked down at the pretty bands and how they matched each other. For both of you knew, two souls so in love they merged and melded as one.

“AllFather and AllMother, protect and bless them, guide them in their new union…” all began to pray.

There were a few final prayers and a hymn. Incense was lit in honor of Freya, the goddess of love, along with an offer of flowers. Then Heimdall turned you both to face the palace. Heimdall was a serious man, but you heard his voice declaring with joy from behind you.

"The AllFather and Allmother Now, before all the gods, the people of Asgard, and -I now declare you both-Prince and Princess of Asgard. Husband and wife. Now...seal your vows with a kiss before all."

Loki turned his face to you. You felt his hands go to your waist pulling you closer. He kissed you there in front of everyone. You felt his tongue push forward. and you let a small sound at the feeling of it. Definitely a more sensual kiss than the normal chaste pecks he would give you in his family’s presence. You could taste cinnamon on his tongue and feel the slight brush of his long eyelashes against your face from how close he was. Then he let go.

Everyone raised their candles and cried "All praise the AllFather and Allmother. The Prince and Princess of Asgard!"

Then they blew out their candles and applauded. You and Loki held hands as music soared. Both of you walked arm in arm. Glancing at each other like excited children and then each other. Flowers petals were even thrown in your direction as you both made you way down there. Down to the feast.

The meal was brief. At least, it felt brief for you. Talking and attending to so many people who came over to wish you both congratulations. Loki even made a toast, calling himself the luckiest man in the nine realms to be yours. There was more food than you could name. You enjoyed the foods served that you loved. Loki insisted that you have a break from talking to guests to eat your own food at your own wedding. You ate until you were full, but not surplus to where you would get sick. Good night, if you had to have your wedding night before witnesses, you were not going to vomit.

But the time was passing. Loki looked over at you. He noticed a servant take away your plate.

“My love…are you ready now….for the…the other ceremony?” he asked.

Your heart picked as if you were running, though you sat still. Then you nodded. You brought his hands to yours and kissed it.

“Yes, husband, I am,” you assured him.

Loki looked at Heimdall. He rose and all the happy chatter from the meal fell silent.

“Now…it is time for the bedding ceremony…” Heimdall announced.

You were led into two separate chambers. Your bridesmaids dressed you out of your gown into a white robe. It was made of lace that was so light on your skin, it was a little cold. But it was beautiful, and you touched the pattern of the fabric of your sleeves to feel it. They escorted you out through the halls. You felt your blood course through you, but you did your best to put on a brace face. But there was some stifled and suppressed giggling from all of them- even you out of your own mixed excitement and nervousness.

You were led back out to the throne room. Now there were torches alight, but it was still dark. The night’s darkness had shone and spread her ink through, and one needed a lit candle to get around. There was a crowd of courtiers, all of whom were wedding guests. But most striking of all- a bed was moved to be there in that room.

It was a canopy bed with light, white drapes. enough room for the two of you to sleep-or rather, to not sleep. Thin as a summer breeze and just as delicate. Right before the altar and there, the two thrones. The bed itself was surrounded by flowers around it, lovely white roses and a few green ones, complimenting the green sheets and green pillows. Such a bed could only be conjured there by magic, created by magic.

Loki was then given to you. He had his own silk green robe on. His raven curls dangled over his shoulders. You saw a peek of his delicious chest from the V of the robe and licked your lips. He walked up to you. He wrapped his arms in an embrace and then whispered into your ear.

“Are you ready, my dove? Are you ready?” he repeated.

“Yes…yes I am,” you answered.

There were the musicians- the harps, woodwinds, and you heard drums too. They began to play from the corner. The court gathered more lit candles-it was dark. But with music, the candles, the flowers, and the pretty bed, it did make it…romantic, oddly. It could be much worse. Much worse would be a rough, awkward tumbling before your parents.

Loki cupped your face. He looked at you- raw without all your finery. Seeing every bit of you. His eyes did have lust as they wandered to the skin that peeked from your lace, but there was more…he was quiet. His thumb traced over your lips.

“What is it?” you asked him,

You’re so…so…beautiful…so wonderful…” he murmured.

He gave you a kiss on the forehead. Then He then turned to all of them. He raised his arms out, a signature gesture with that smile that oozed charm and mischief. Such a man. No wonder it was easy to love him. And easier to marry him. Now you only had to lie with him and now that seemed easiest of all. His own voice made desire soak through you and you felt your legs squirm, a wetness growing between you as he said the words.

“Now, all of you wish to watch? Then watch. Witness just how much I love this woman. I adore her. I want her. And now that she is my wife, see how much love and pleasure I can give her in one moment…” He boasted.

He returned to you and began to kiss you. But deeper. It was a loud, wet kiss with more tongue. You could taste the feast on him, his breath. He groaned and he kept doing it, his hands wandering up your back, feeling how only one layer separated your skin from his. He removed his lips and voiced.

“And now…now your innocence is mine too…”

He pressed against you. You felt your own body against him, naturally. His hands went down to the tie of your robe. You began to take shallow breaths, your chest heaving. Loki’s eyes fluttered to see just some of how it moved with your breasts and his smile grew devilish. He only took one step away.

“All of this tucked away from me…not anymore now…let me take you in, my dear…”

He pulled on the knot once and it was undone. He then put his hands to your shoulders and gently slid the robe off. Dramatically revealing your shoulders, your breasts, your stomach. It pooled down to your feet in a puddle of lace, revealing all of you before the court.

The eyes were watching each inch of your skin. You raise an arm to cover yourself out of habit, feeling naked on the inside as well as the outside, but Loki gently removed your arms, smiling over your breasts, stomach, hips.

“You’re exquisite, Y/N…the softness…your shape…everything. And now they all will see you…and they’ll kneel before you as they do to me, it’s only what you deserve, my little princess. Let them see you…let me see you,” he whispered.

With a sigh he kissed you again, pressing his tongue further. He put his hands behind your head. You felt him get hard beneath the thin layer of his emerald silk robe. You wrapped your arms around him, you felt yourself moaning. You were pooling more to where you wondered if a bit of your desire would creep down your thigh. You felt their eyes on you-not in judgement. Maybe like Loki said- in appreciation. Seeing you as a piece of art to be admired. Seeing you as Loki saw you. A goddess in your own right, your own way.

He then picked you up- wrapping his arms around you and you put your legs around him. You let out a little gasp and he only chuckled lightly at you. You felt your own folds opening right before his body and you shuddered, and he did too- that most delicate, private part of you now felt against him. Made public. But in a display that was more for him than for them.

He then set you down onto the bed. Positioned to where you were lying down.

“I can’t believe you’re my husband now…that I’m married to a god…” you said softly to him.

He spread your legs with his long, beautiful hands. You peeked and discovered his own cock was getting hard under his robe.

“I may be a god, but I can show you what it is to be worshipped-my hands, tongue, and cock are your acolytes now…” he replied.

He began to untie his own robe to give him freedom.

“And they make offerings, like this…”

He dove onto the bed. He lifted your legs and plunged his tongue inside your entrance. You felt him lick up your walls-gently exploring. The feeling of him tasting, sucking on each small bit of you. You begin to gasp and moan. The crowd whispered lightly.

“L-Loki….it…it feels so good…where…keep…yes-oh!” you began to moan as he tasted you.

You felt his nose and his breath there, cold against your wet pussy. He gave a peck to each part as he climbed up. Up to where the most precious bud of all was found. He began to lick your clit, slowly. But you felt a tingle all around you. You let out another moan for not only the throne room but for the whole palace to see.

“Oh! Norns-yes…please!” you voiced.

You tried to reach your hands down to feel hm, his hair, his shoulders. To never lose touch of your husband. He paused. You could feel him smile against your opening-his own altar.

“Yes-I want you- let them. Let all of them know who it is who gives you pleasure. Let them all know who it is who you belong to now. Let them all know, and anyone who tries to spoil my marriage, that no man can fuck you like I can…no man can pleasure you like me…”

You let out another moan in response. You could feel the eyes of the crowd widening. Maybe they too were a little aroused by this display. This was a ceremony- sacred and necessary. But this time it was…different. Your own pleasure was there at the center. You made another sound that would have made the AllMother herself blush. Loki’s voice rumbled through your body.

He removed his mouth. He then moved to stand up on the floor, towering over you.

You felt as if you were staring to fly when he tasted you, but you never left the ground. But you had no wings that were open. You had your legs.

He then finally undid the knot of his robe. You realized how wet you were. You ached for him. You were writhing, sighing out. You still felt your folds dripping both with desire and the teasing of his tongue.

“Loki…please….I ache for you-I want you, I’m so ready for you-fuck me into this bed and make me yours!” you mewled.

He smirked. He let his robe fall free of the knot.

“A beautiful little innocent begging for me….hm, I have both in one. A princess and a concubine. How lucy am I… How would that beautiful voice scream when I thrust inside her…”

You ached for release. You felt a throbbing inside you. How long would this take? Would you have to touch yourself before he was done?

“Here…take me…take your husband…make me-one with you. Continue this ceremony! You begged.

There were prayers given up by the crowd. Soft but present.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace.”

There was no denial that Loki himself was a god from his body. Out came his chest-perfectly chiseled pecs and abdominals. Strong biceps and broad shoulders contrasting and complimenting his deliciously small waist. A trail of dark hair leading down to where his hard cock was against his stomach. It was leaking already-he wanted you as much as you wanted him. Maybe more.

With another devilish smile, he then leaned down and got on the bed.

“Now are you ready, sweet little dove, to take me-your god, your husband- are you ready to be my wife?”

You nodded with a whimper.

He crawled on top of you, taking a look over your body. Beautiful and all for him for the rest of his days. And norns, he was going to take care of it. He kept your legs open, then began to sheath himself inside you.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace,” chanted the crowd.

Finally, finally he first entered inside. There was only a little pain-but you let out a shout.

“Oh! Oh-you’re! You’re so…so big! I’m so full!” you cried wantonly.

You could hear the smile in his voice.

“A large cock and a beautiful wife…what more could I want now? Yes- cry out. Tell them how much you love this cock. How much pleasure it gives you, my dear…”

He began to thrust into you. His hips snapping slowly. You were letting out gasps-it felt so good. Better than you could have imagined. You were getting dizzy. You squeezed your eyes shut except to see him. To enjoy the feeling. Each thrust to your insides, to your womb was natural. How he fits you as perfectly as the rings around your finger. A small hymn was being sung by the crowd as the music played. Gentle as a lullaby but instead was not an offering of your virginity to a god of both mischief and desire. But the volume was matched by your whore-like moans and the grunts of Loki on top of you.

The volume of the song increased. So did his pace.

He picked it up. He lifted your leg to be on top of his shoulder. You could practically hear your skin colliding each time. He began to slam you into the bed. It seemed the altar nearby and each candle was shaking from the power of his thrusts.

“Oh! Oh-my-oh-gods, husband! You’re-oh!” you started to cry.

“Yes…yes bit by bit…I’ll-nrgh-claim you-norns-yes, here on this bed…. Have them-damn-have them all watch-yes-watch you become a wife-gods-watch me -yes-that good little princess, good little wife, good little whore, too-norns-here-taking me-taking me well-“

He then placed you to lean against the tall headboard of the bed. So you sat up, slid you up.

“Darling, uhm-what is-“you could voice.

He wrapped your arms against your waist and hit you deeper. And a finger went down to your bud, and you let out another cry.

You felt the bed shake-you heard the flowers shake with you, petals dropping. The singing and praying and music continued, already overwhelming you with the pleasure of your husband’s cock. And all of them watching you become awakened to the joys of the bedroom before all of them. For them to know how much you both loved each other. And with a gasping kiss, he began to fuck you harder, deeper.

“The-the-the beds! It’s going to-to-to break!” you fretted between each deep, fast thrust. You held onto his chest and kept him close.

“Let it break! Let it! Gods-yes, my little wife-fuck! Giving me everything-norns, gods…”

You were gasping, writhing beneath his touch, feeling it all as he pounded. He was repeating your name, his own hymn in his straining voice.

“My wife, now mine, finally mine-hela-every way mine-should-should have you on the throne too-yes-have you on my cock there, have them watch that too-nrgh!” he grunted with each movement.

And you felt something spinning inside you. You were not going to last. It was all overwhelming you. Sweet overstimulation. The drums were beating, it seemed hard, and his thrusts were getting harder. The harps played and you couldn’t make out the words of the hymn.

He was going at it. Rutting at you-showing both the grace of a prince and the power of a lover. Something was bubbling. Like the wings but about to take flight. You were starting to shake inside. It was growing, growing, you were reaching it, reaching the top. You clutched onto him as you were shaking, practically bouncing on it, the moving bed.

“Loki…I think…Loki I think-I think-I thinkIthink-I’m going to…I’m going to…”

“Then cum, princess-cum for your husband-for them-or-would you-nrg-rather I stop-stop letting you enjoy this!” he hissed out.

“N-no! Please! Please don’t stop! Please! Please-don’t stop! Don’t stop don’tstopdon’tstopdontstopson’tstop-“ you were begging.

He was pounding into you at a faster rate than you thought. He fingered your clip, circles matching the speed of his cock. He gave began to repeat your name. Like a growl, and then his voice increasing in volume. You were spinning, thrown out of control, bursting up, and up

“My-My prince! I-“

You felt something in you-then you let out a last voice into a scream.

You felt it burst on you. Your first climax. You felt him give another quick thrust and he came too with a cry. Then he held you, his thrusting slowed. You nestled into him. Your pussy was shaking and quivering harder than you thought it possible.

As the witnesses all watched-the members of the court. Feeling this spectacle. Right here in this bedroom. There was a last verse of the hymn. Then a final repetition of the prayer as you felt his seed spurt inside you.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace.”

Loki then looked up. You brushed his black locks to see his lovely face. He was all flushed, full of bliss. Enjoying the high as you were. You could feel the coolness of his sweat and his own body heaving as he caught his own breath. He pulled out but remained close to you. He whispered into your ears.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m…I’m okay,” you replied.

He pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, Y/N. I’m glad. For this…for you…”

You pressed back. You closed your eyes and smiled.

He went back to the group. He offered you the blanket and wrapped it around your shoulders. Warm and safe.

“Give us some water-a rag! Bring us our robes!” he ordered.

He kissed your forehead and held you close.

“You…You were wonderful, sweet Y/N…that was incredible-you did well…” he said.

The robes were returned and there was a wet rag. He cleaned you both up from between both legs. After putting your robes back on, he looked at them.

“I’d like us both to retire, please. Now. She needs some rest after today-and so do I.”

As you walked out, you both still locked hands-anchoring each other. Finally, you were both alone in his chambers. Once the heavy door was shut and you were surrounded by his favorite dark green walls, you both sighed.

He led you to sit down on the rug and made the fireplace start a pretty flame by just flicking his wrist. He brought a thick blanket wrap around the both of you.

“Here…let’s have our own little celebration-just us…wine?”

“I’d love some wine,” you agreed.

He then used his seidr and conjured two glasses of a dark, garnet colored wine. He gave you a smile.

“Here…let’s have a toast…”

He chinked your glasses.

“To the Princess of Asgard….my wife. And the start of our lives together…”

2K notes · View notes

hxney-lemcn · 4 months

Text

The Riddle of Love — Gotham! Edward Nygma x gn! reader

summery: Edward's interest shifts to someone who indulges in his love of riddles.

tw: bullying (?), kristen kringle is a warning all her own in this fic, implied rejection (not really tho, Ed's just awkward).

a/n: I hope so much that I wrote all these characters correctly. I have riddler fever rn and really wanted to write for him, but I've always been scared that I'd write him too ooc. I think I did good tho.

wc: 3.1k

Master List

“What is it that no one wants to have, but no one wants to lose either?” I asked. I already knew it was a lost cause. Edward Nygma was the smartest man I had ever met. Dorky? Yes. Nerdy? Absolutely. Smart? Incredibly. So trying to impress him at his own game wasn’t exactly the smartest move. Yet, the first time I gave him a riddle to solve (which he solved ridiculously fast), I don’t think I’d ever seen him so happy. So I continued to scour the internet in my free time to try and find obscure riddles.

Although this riddle wasn’t that obscure. I was running out of riddles to find, and I sure as hell couldn’t make my own.

“A lawsuit,” Eddie replied without missing a beat, still focusing on testing blood samples.

I couldn’t stop the pout that formed on my face, “It’s not fair how smart you are.”

I didn’t see Ed’s lips twitch up, how the praise I didn’t think twice about saying impacted him more than he’d like to admit. It was quiet for a few minutes, and I looked back down to the papers I had brought with me. Sometimes, I found myself working in the forensic lab when I could. One of the perks of being a criminal data analyst. I could make my notes on paper, and then just copy them into the computer later.

Since I was a data analyst, I was in the record archives often. I was acquainted with Kristen Kringle, which obviously led me to Edward Nygma. She would complain about him if I came in after he had left. At that point I didn’t know him, but I also found her complaints unfounded. I’d let her vent, but I’d also speak up for him, which made her glance away in what I assume was guilt. Then there were the unfortunate times that I’d walk in on his awkward flirting. I’d just tensely put away or take the files I needed for my research and leave them to it.

But after enough times, I’d caught him in the middle of one of his riddles. An easy one, probably to dumb it down for Kringle so she’d be enticed to answer it in the first place. Yet he had caught the attention of the wrong person. Although that didn’t seem to put a damper on his mood. He only sent me a tight lipped smile with a little ‘ding ding ding!’. That’s how I was caught hook line and sinker. His mannerisms were oddly endearing to me, and that’s how our odd little friendship formed.

I was brought out of my reverie as Eddie shuffled over to his microscope, “I am a nine lettered word and rhyme with perfection; I am another name for love. What am I?”

I blinked, not ready for a riddle, even though I always should be in the presence of him. I looked up from my work, and I noticed how Eddie was sweating, his cheeks flushing a bright red. I tapped the metal table anxiously, the word love had thrown me off my game and my brain felt empty of anything else. I mumbled words under my breath that rhyme with perfection.

“Deception, reception, perception,” I mumbled, yet none of them fit the rest of the rhyme. The longer I took, the more anxious Eddie seemed to get. “Affection. Oh! The answer is affection!”

Ed cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses, “Y-yes, that is correct. G-good job.” My proud smile fell into a more awkward one, thinking over the implications. That riddle sounded like one he’d save for Kringle. Was he running out of riddles as well? The thought alone was preposterous. It was tense for a bit. And when I realized I had nothing left to do but input the current data I had on some wanna be gang leader. The sad part is I knew that the cops aren’t going to be the first ones who get them.

Even though I needed to leave, it felt wrong for some reason. To leave the situation after Edward had seemed to admit something in his unique way of sharing. I didn’t want to assume his feelings, yet I knew he also wasn’t one to just state them willingly. Biting my lip anxiously, I decided to just do it.

Walking over towards Ed’s hunched form, I leaned down to place a light kiss to his cheek, “I’ll see ya later Eddie.” Then I booked it out of the room, leaving behind a very flustered dork.

It wasn’t much later in the day when Doctor Lee Thompson entered my office. It wasn’t much of an office. The dark walls made the space feel enclosed, and it barely fit my desk and the few cabinets it held. Yet I didn’t mind it since it was a space for myself. Lee, on the other hand, was another acquaintance whose office was nowhere near mine. She’d only come to my office for a few reasons, if it was work related (which was rare since our departments weren’t similar), or if it was personal. Sometimes she fessed that it seemed I needed some company, that it would do me no good to spend all this time alone in my office. Other times…it was on a more personal note, about Eddie and I’s relationship.

She plopped a candy bar on my desk, a placating move that was all too familiar.

“You must’ve done a real number on Ed,” She smirked, sitting on my desk. Due to the tiny size of the room, and the nature of my job, I didn’t have a seat for guests.

“What do you mean?” I asked. Deep down, I knew exactly what she meant. I knew Edward was an awkward man, and his experience with flirting was an ultimate zero. Yet it was hard to imagine that he was still affected by a small gesture of affection… Okay maybe the gesture wasn’t that small, for either of us, but still!

Lee’s smirk widened, “I think you know exactly what. Poor little Ed kept stumbling over his words when I brought you up. Something must’ve happened.”

I unwrapped the candy bar as she spoke, wanting to avoid any thought of the earlier moment. Looking back it was so awkward and a terrible attempt at…what? Flirting? Was that my intention? I didn’t even know my own intentions!

I took a bite from the candy bar, savoring the sweet flavor before having to explain the painfully awkward memory. When I managed to explain the event, Lee couldn’t stop herself from chuckling, causing me to finish my candy bar with a bitter look.

“That sounds like something you’d both do,” She smiled.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” I huffed, trying to fight off the flush of embarrassment I felt.

“Nothing,” She sighed wistfully. “But you two really take your time, huh?”

“Shut up,” I scowled.

“Okay, okay,” She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “I’ll stop teasing…for now. But seriously, I think you two would be cute together.”

I let out a childish groan, “I get it. Is there anything else you need?”

“No,” She smiled as she stood up. “Just wanted to see what had Ed all wound up.”

I rolled my eyes, but my heart skipped a beat at the implication. As Lee saw herself out, my mind kept racing. What was Ed doing right now? What was he thinking about? Did he really care enough about my opinion, about my affection, that he was still affected by it? I stared at my computer screen, the cursor blinking mindlessly. Glancing at the time, I scowled as I realized I still had 30 minutes left to my shift. The idea of going home, having a relaxing dinner and then maybe treating myself to a warm bath.

…

That was only the beginning. It seems that Eddie’s admiration had shifted from Kristin Kringle to me. It was flattering, to say the least. At least to me. Once I gained Ed’s attention, I seemed to have gained his colleagues attention as well. Typically, I didn’t work with the officers, I’d research criminals, then that data would be added to the files. So when I walked past James Gordon and Harvey Bullock, I never thought twice. But when Ed had waved at me, that cute tight lipped smile on his face as I waved back, a smile of my own adorning my face, it drew the attention of the two detectives.

"Careful Ed,” Harvey mocked. “Don’t wanna scare them off.” Jim only glanced up briefly, not interested in the situation in the least. I watched as Ed’s smile twitched for a second, Harvey’s words seeming to get to him. I felt my smile slip, not liking how they treat him in the slightest.

“He…didn’t do anything wrong,” I shrugged, before waving goodbye, making my way to the record archives. Not only them, but even Kringle was looking at me more than just as a person to vent to.

“I feel sorry for you,” She stated, adjusting her thick rimmed glasses. Her hazel eyes held their usual air of judgment as she placed some files back in their spots.

“Why?” I asked, flipping through to find the person I needed.

“Isn’t it obvious?” She asked, raising one of her perfectly maintained eyebrows. “Edward’s got his eyes on another victim.” I frowned, anger bubbling within me at the way she always found new ways to insult him.

“I wouldn’t describe it like that,” I managed to grit out. “I find the sentiment sweet.”

“Wait,” Kringle paused, turning to look at me with disbelief. “Do you…like him?”

I sighed, finding it hard to focus on the task at hand with this irritating conversation, “Would there be something wrong with that?”

“Isn’t it kind of weird how fast he switched?” She asked, a hint of jealousy in her tone. “I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he loses interest in you.”

I slammed the cabinet shut in a bout of rage, leaving the room before I do something I may regret…or lose my job over. As I exited, my scowl worsened when I realized I didn’t even get what I needed.

“Hello!” Edward’s excited voice greeted me as I entered the break room. When my gaze landed on him, I felt my expression soften, my shoulder’s relaxing. His brown eyes were so expressive, that silly smile on his face never failed to melt my heart.

“Hey,” I muttered back. Looking over the options in the vending machine. Just get something to eat, and hopefully I’ll feel better.

“Is…something the matter?” He asked, fidgeting with his glasses. I let out a long sigh as I sat across from him at one of the few tables.

Taking a bite of my snack, I took some time to gather my thoughts and feelings, “Sometimes I just hate people.”

His eyebrows raised, nervously fidgeting with his tie, “Th-that’s…understandable.”

“Sorry,” I muttered, finally cooling down. “Someone was just saying some really mean things and it got to me.”

Edwards’ demeanor changed in an instant, a frown replacing his smile, and his eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of concern and anger, “Who?”

I blinked, “What?”

“Who insulted you?” He asked, fists clenched. This wasn’t what I was expecting. He would get annoyed, yeah, but he’d always just stew in it until he calmed down. And he was barely angry when I was around, which was something I was proud of. So seeing him react so harshly was unusual. It made me feel a bit appreciated, that he cared enough to get this angry over it, yet it was also unsettling.

“They…they were insulting you,” I clarified, rubbing my arm awkwardly. “And trust me, I was ready to do some things that would’ve gotten me fired.”

Ed blinked, calming down drastically at the revelation, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “I swear if she says one more damned thing about you I’m gonna…” I strangled the air, the only way I could express how frustrated her insults made me.

Edward fake coughed, his cheeks tinged a light pink, “I assume you mean Miss Kringle.”

I paused, hoping it didn’t hurt that his past interest was still as rude as ever. “I didn’t even manage to get the files I needed,” I grumbled, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

“...I can get them for you,” I felt my heart crack. Was he still interested in her? Was that why he was so ready to go into the den of the woman who so readily insults him?

“Oh, no you don’t have to do that,” I shook my head. “I’ll just have Lee do it.”

Ed blinked, seeming to think over something before standing up, “I’ll be right back.” Before he was fully out the door he paused, “Whose case files did you need?”

I couldn’t help the tiny grin at how eager he was as I gave him the names of the people I needed files on. Yet that smile fell. Was he really so excited to get a chance to see Kringle that he almost left without knowing what files he needed? I finished my snack, getting a drink from the vending machine while I was at it. My mind continued to make up terrible scenarios that could be happening at that moment. How she could manage to crush Ed’s precious heart even more than she’s already managed to.

Ed was back quicker than I realized. It took him less than ten minutes! He set the files I needed on the table, that tight lipped grin on his face as he waited for my input.

“Oh! Thank you!” I thanked, flipping through the files to make sure they were all there. “She didn’t give you any trouble, did she?”

“No,” He replied simply. As I met his gaze, that’s when I finally realized that he was truly over Kringle. I should’ve felt disturbed at how intense his gaze was, at how strong his emotions seemed to be when he wasn’t even trying. Yet I only felt flattered, important, and wanted. Emotions I wasn’t completely used to, and caused my heart to stutter at how strong my own emotions were becoming.

Standing up, I leaned in and kissed his cheek again, this time a bit more confident then the last time I did. I waved goodbye as I walked out with the files he gave me. I felt pride swell within me as I watched Eddie become a flustered mess as I left. It was a good mood lifter as I watched him fumble with his usual nervous ticks, before he was finally out of my sight.

…

Edward’s courting tactics only seemed to grow after that. I wasn’t sure what changed him to do so. I could only speculate that Lee had something to do with it. She kept stopping by my office, asking how Ed and I were doing like she hadn’t just seen us the day before. I can’t lie, I was reveling in the attention that Ed was giving me, and I could tell he’d revel in my attention as well. A mutual pining on both sides.

Normally, I’d be okay with that. Too scared to try and push things forward. Edward Nygma was different. He was just so…amazing. I’ve never felt so strongly towards someone. He was sweet, attentive, smart, and overall lovely. I couldn’t just settle for pining, I wanted to experience what it would be like as his lover.

Which led me to this horrendous mess up of a confession.

I dressed up a bit nicer than usual, hoping to impress the cute dork. I felt confident in myself, an emotion I don’t feel regularly. I greeted Lee, who seemed like she guessed the occasion and sent me a wink when I walked past.

“Hey Eddie,” I greeted, setting a cup of coffee down on the counter.

“Oh! Hello,” He greeted me, smiling. “You seem chipper this morning.”

Nudging the coffee towards him I smiled back, “It’s a good day today. I got you a coffee.”

“You didn’t need to,” Ed replied sheepishly, not used to people giving him things.

I only shrugged, “I wanted to.” I tapped the counter I was leaning on as nerves started to slowly creep through me. So, before my anxiety could get the best of me, I blurted out, “What is mine but only you can have?”

With furrowed eyebrows, Ed actually paused to answer a riddle for the first time during this little game we had. His eyes flitted around the room, like he was trying to avoid the answer. I know he was smart enough to figure it out, so the fact he was taking so long to answer caused my heart rate to spike from anxiety. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I was reading the room wrong. I blame Lee for feeding me a wrong understanding.

“I…uh…” Ed stuttered over his words, sweat dripping down the side of his face. Shit, shit, shit! I shouldn’t have said that. He does know the answer, I found it online easily, he obviously knows. He doesn’t feel the same and now he’s trying to find a way to politely reject me.

“Nevermind!” I exclaimed, trying to quell my nerves by getting the fuck out of here. “Stupid riddle! Never needs an answer. I should get to work.”

“W-wait!” Eddie called out, making me stop in my tracks. So close yet so far. “I can be a fruit, I can be on a calendar, I can be important, and I can be forgotten. What am I?”

Turning back around, I watched as Eddie picked at his nails. We both seemed like complete messes at the moment. It was hard for me to think of anything due to my previous failure of admitting my feelings. I bit my lip awkwardly, trying to stop myself from making any more of a fool of myself.

“I…I’m not sure Eddie,” I chuckled solemnly.

Clearing his throat, he adjusted his glasses before admitting, “A date. W-would you accompany me on one?” I stared at him with wide eyes, unsure if I heard him correctly.

“Y-yeah! Of course I will!” That tinge of embarrassment was quickly overpowered by exhilaration. The smile that stretched across my face almost hurt with how big it was. Eddie’s smile was also wide as he still couldn’t meet my eyes.

“Is…is tonight okay? Dinner? 7 o’clock?”

“That sounds perfect.”

And to make the moment better, I kissed his cheek before parting, excited for what the night held for us.

#riddler x reader #the riddler x reader #gotham x reader #edward nygma x reader #edward nashton x reader #gotham #riddler #the riddler #edward nygma #edward nashton #x reader #dc #dc riddler x reader

367 notes · View notes

azurlily · 1 year

Note

Hange zoe DATING headcannons (your choice on sfw or nsfw or both if you’d like!) -🐢

Dating Hange Zoe would be like:

Hange is a scientist, so of course they need to gather research on you before "jumping to conclusions".

She'll watch you when out on missions just in case a titan gets a bit too close. Cant have her lover getting hurt, right?

Depending on wether you are a cadet or not, she will either show too much or little amounts to PDA.

If you are a cadet(18 OR OVER), well she'll keep your relationship a secret until she feels comfortable. If not, be prepared they love to show you off.

Hange keeps you close in a secret fear of never seeing you again. What if you're out on a mission and DIE? They wouldn't be able to bear it.

Hange sometimes uses their rank to get you things. Extra food, water, anything she can find.

Will start thinking about you when they are pulling an all nighter and cant stop. They wonder where you are, if you're asleep, if you're awake... if you're cheating on them

Hange is very self conscious about herself. She thinks that she isn't good enough sometimes and doesn't know what to do.

You, of course squash these thoughts by kissing her and showing her you love her. You show her how important she is to you.

Hanges kisses are gentle and sweet. She can get a little overwhelming due to the fact that shes just so happy to see you.

Dont ever let her sweet demeanor fool you though. They could very easily hurt someone or something if mad enough.

Example: Levi had made a comment about you being unprofessional because he believes your relationship(all relationships not just the gay ones) should be kept private. He berated you and told you to this is the military your could die any day.

You told Hange, and by the gods. You have never seen her so mad. They told you it was okay, and that they would "talk" to Levi.

The talking that she did ended up in her blowing up about how rude it was and how Levi wouldn't understand because his lover is dead. She slapped Levi and told him, "When you understand how afraid I am for her safety, you can talk about relationships."

You never thought she'd get mad enough to mention them(no real lover I'm just using this). Levi didn't say anything, he should have, but he didn't. Hange is the commander now, Hange is in control.

When Hange came back to you she promised it was handled nicely and neatly.

You never had a problem with anyone talking about your relationship ever again.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

Hard, fast, rough. Maybe a bit sweet.(not maybe definitely) Hange gets quite needy after overworking and needs some help. You'll help her right?

They like being in control. With losing everyone and becoming commander she needs a form of stress relief.

They like when you call them daddy, seeing as they feel more masculine in bed. The first time you called them daddy. Well, your thighs hurt with how good she fucked you.

They love to eat you out. She prefers you not eat her, but if you convince her to let you. You'll have them wrapped tight around your finger.

She eat you for hours, she loves when you cry, and whine, and beg. She loves hearing you please for mercy while you both know she ain't giving you none.

"Aww, yes, I know it hurts. I know, but you'll take it, you'll take me. Now open those pretty thighs up again, I wasn't done."

Dont try bratting with them, it only makes things worse for you. They are the definition of fuck around and find out in bed. The madder she is the rougher she gets.

If you're sweet though, she'll treat you like the pretty little slut you are. She'll tell you, you're a good little slut and fuck you till you're both numb.

She has high stamina during the day. Why wouldn't she at night too?

"Fuckk, such a dumb little slut. You sure know how to eat me out. Maybe I'll reward you if you're good. You wanna be a good slut for me?

Dont worry she'll reward you, she melts when you eat her. Dont let her try and fool you.

As you can see she has a praise and degradation kink. They'll bully you in bed, make you cry(tears of pleasure), while fucking you so hard it should hurt.

Then again, you are her slut. So why does it matter if it hurts, you're here to feel good, to be overstimulated til you can't move, much less talk.

Aftercare is something out of this world. She'll bring you food, water, and will help you clean up.

She constantly reassures you she isn't mad, that she loves you, that you're hers. Shes so gentle with you.

She'll help you fall asleep and lay there for a while playing with your hair/drawing shapes on your skin with her hand.

Hii ��! I'm so glad someone has put in a request. It's not the best hit I'm working on my writing skills! I use a mixture of she/they for Hange seeing as I dont know if they are nonbinary or if that's a rumor. Anyway thank you for reading!

#aot girls #hange zoe x reader #hange x reader #aot #aot smut #im bad at this #wlw #lesbian #i cant write #🤦🏽‍♀️#i tried #hange zoë #aot headcanons

576 notes · View notes

an-idyllic-novelist · 1 year

Note

Hi, could I request for a Lady Tamayo!Reader paired with Buddha?

This reader was revived by Brunhilde to be the doctor for the 13 champions and she's loyal (not too loyal) to her bc she saved her from her punishment from being a demon.

The scenario would be that they met when she treated him after his fight and they got to know each other after that?

Please and thank you

Here it is! Special thanks to @nixes-noxes for proofreading/editing to make sure that the characters weren’t OOC. Enjoy and have a lovely day/evening!

Warnings: manga spoilers

Buddha was…a difficult patient. Despite all of the odds that were stacked against him in his fight with Zero, he won. Yet his victory for humanity isn’t an excuse to sneak out of his room to bask underneath the canopy of his bodhi tree and enjoy a passing breeze with sun shining down from the sky.

That is one of the reasons why Brunhilde had summoned Lady [First Name] [Last Name] from Helheim despite being a demon; before she had been killed by Muzan after drugging him with an elixir during their confrontation in the Infinity Castle, Lady [First Name} had been a doctor. Together with her companion Yushiro, she helped as many humans as she could with their alignments,including those who had been afflicted with Muzan’s poisonous blood and became flesh-eating demons.

In retrospect, dying to give the Demon Slayers a chance to destroy the man who had ruined her human life wasn’t a terrible thing…but Lady [First Name] had not expected to wake up in a dark wasteland teeming with demons that were just as dangerous, if not more, than the demon king himself. It was through sheer dumb luck that she had survived for so long until the Valkyrie had brought from her ‘punishment’ and offered her the position of being humanity’s chief physician in the medical wing.

It did not take the young woman very much time to give Brunhilde an answer. At this point anything was better than being stuck in Helheim. Disinfecting wounds, monitoring a patient’s health, and making sure that they are being properly fed? Yes. She can do that.

But the demon did not recall that being the ‘chief physician’ also meant chasing after a stubborn god.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Lady [First Name] walked up the steep grassy hill as best as she could in her [Favorite Color] kimono and zori sandals till she was standing right behind Buddha, munching on snacks that she specifically recalled telling him to cut back on until he was ready for the next stage of his treatment.

“Why am I not surprised to find you here, my lord?”

“Should ya even be surprised anymore, doc?” Buddha snarked back, unwrapping a candy bar and throwing it in his mouth. “Besides, do you really believe I’d miss an opportunity to get some fresh air?”

She frowned. “I never said that there was a problem with being outside, Lord Buddha. In fact, it is supposed to improve your sleep, cognition, and overall well-being rather than being confined indoors all of the time. I did, however, say that you can but it would be in everyone’s benefit to inform myself or the staff that you wish to go outside instead of sneaking out. Lady Brunhilde was quite upset when she came to the medical wing earlier this afternoon to find out that you were…missing.”

“Bruni will be fine, she’s a lot tougher than she looks, believe me. Let her focus on the eighth round. I might have won but we still need more wins if the gods’ll leave the humans alone. More importantly,” He glanced over his shoulder, a single aquamarine orb staring right at her. “Do I even know you?”

Lady [First Name] tilted her head, staring at him for a moment before smiling softly. It appears that Lady Brunhilde was not joking when she had casually mentioned just how laid-back Buddha is…or simply doesn’t give a shit about anyone. The Valkyrie’s words, not hers, thank you very much. But being a doctor secretly researching demonic transformations or performing blood transfusions did not have its own issues. She also had to handle human patients too. Inhaling a deep breath through her nostrils, she calmed her anger before answering Buddha.

“All you need to know is that my job is to ensure the mental and physical health of all humanity’s champions, Lord Buddha. It goes against my oath as a doctor to force a patient to do something against their will. In this scenario, however, I offer…an ultimatum.” She paused, staring at the blonde-haired deity. Since Buddha didn’t interrupt nor look away, the demon took this as a cue to elaborate.

“I will speak to the staff and allow you to lounge outside here or in the greenhouse until a fixed time. When that time is up, you must return to your room and rest. Yes, this is a curfew, but this is the best that I can offer you right now. You may no longer be in critical condition, though there is a chance that your health or recovery might have some setbacks.”

She could tell immediately that Buddha wasn’t too thrilled with this restriction. No one likes having someone hovering over their shoulder or counting down the minutes until they have to go back to their room when all they want is a little time to themselves before running through medical tests for the nth time of the day.

“Is there any chance you can include snacks-”

“That will be taken into consideration once your bloodwork comes back, Lord Buddha.” Lady [First Name] chuckled, witnessing one of the most powerful gods pouting petulantly like a child. Shaking her head, she decided to do something that she hadn’t done in all of her years of practicing medicine: she sat next to him under the bodhi tree, paying no heed to getting grass stains on her kimono as she stared up at the floating islands of Valhalla in comfortable silence.

He did not say anything….that was progress. Maybe?

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #kny tamayo #snv x reader #snv buddha #request #my writing #tamayo!reader #lady tamayo #tamayo demon slayer

422 notes · View notes

uncanny-tranny · 4 months

Text

I love giving advice, apparently, so if you are a newly pierced person or are planning on being pierced, here are some of the things I found helpful, as somebody who isn't a professional piercer but has had six plus piercings on my face and body, and multiple ear piercings (which I don't count, since I DIY'd them):

Normal bath towels are your enemy, proceed with caution after bathing. NEVER wipe moisture away from a fresh piercing, always pat it dry

You will hit a new piercing and it will hurt. This is inevitable, just know that you likely haven't destroyed it. Feel free to cry, though, it hurts like hell.

If your piercer gives you instructions, heed them. If you're on restrictions, please take it as seriously as possible

When you're going in for a piercing, please eat or drink something - at least what constitutes as a snack for your body. It really helps

If you're getting an oral piercing, make sure you size down after the healing period - I hadn't sized down for my last oral piercing when I first had the chance, and it was... so annoying to have too-large of jewelry

Not all jewelry is made equally. Do your research on materials, threading, and sizing. I've found that titanium jewelry is really nice for me, and I like it, but that isn't the only option. Make sure you think about your body and its needs and preferences

Close your eyes while being pierced (I found this really helps me)

Don't over-clean a new piercing, twice per day is usually a good place to start

The completed healing period is a very average suggestion - you may heal slower or faster. Try to adhere to that suggestion, though, especially if you do not feel you're healed enough

Personally, I have found that I am completely healed when my piercing feels like just another part of my body, even when it is touched. When my piercings start to feel as though they are foreign when they never do before, I know I likely need to clean them

While I have DIY'd piercings, I personally do not recommend it, especially if you are either not using sterilized equipment, or are piercing a very dangerous place (like the tongue). If you are absolutely positive about committing to the DIY mindset, please try to do due diligence in research at least

Tip your piercer. Body mods are a luxury service, and it takes years to even become a piercer, much less to be proficient at it. Tip your piercer, ESPECIALLY if their prices feel too good to be true - they likely are. Unless you are directed otherwise by your piercer, just assume that you will be tipping them for their services and budget accordingly

Make sure you understand how your piercer wants you to take care of your piercing, and ask questions. There is no question too "dumb"

If you are getting a body part pierced you are insecure about, realize your piercer has most likely seen HUNDREDS of different body parts of various sizes, shapes, and oddities. Your body is not uniquely bad, nor would a good piercer make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable with your body. If they do, however, DO NOT go through with the piercing. You should feel safe being pierced by somebody, and, indeed, that is the bare minimum.

If you use saline wash to clean piercings, you can DIY it. You will go through NeilMed like no other, and with it being $5USD a bottle, that price can rack up quickly. Make sure you use distilled water and non-iodized salt, though

If your piercing is infected, please don't be too ashamed to seek help. It's in your best interest to make sure you don't get ill or your site gets nasty ("nasty" as in painful)

These are just some of the things I've learned being a pierced person! My piercings are something I absolutely needed, and I do not for a minute regret having them. I want that same happiness to befall you, and that happens when you are able to understand a bit more what goes into piercings. You are, essentially, getting a new body part installed by a pro, and so I don't want you to not be ready for that.

Again, I am not a professional piercer, but am rather a body piercing enthusiast with many different types of piercings. I don't have every piercing, though, so please look at this critically for the piercing(s) that you want or have. At least, treat this like a soft suggestion or ways to help you brainstorm what you will find helpful.

More tips are obviously welcomed, especially if you yourself have more insight or expertise. Good luck to every pierced person or future pierced person reading this💛

#body modification #body mods #piercings #body piercing #long post #honestly i love having a professional relationship with my piercer and i feel so happy to be pierced by her #i think the client and piercer relationship is a very important aspect of getting a piercing #and i don't think people talk about that part much. you should feel SAFE being around your piercer #they are literally creating a new hole in your body with a needle. that is a very vulnerable position to be in #but i'm honestly shocked at how cheap my piercer is...#...so my last piercing was only $50USD and that included the (nice) jewelry. i feel that in that cast tipping 60% was worth it...#...i know that can rack up the cost of the piercing but especially if you LIKE your piercer (like i do) - try being as generous as possible #i personally LOVE tipping my piercer and it's the best way i can show her that i LOVE her work even when i tell her #love having a personal blog that i can be autistic about piercings!!!!! I LOVE THIS ANCIENT TRADITIONNNN #one of my profs let us write about anything as long as it was an essay and i went Insane writing about historical piercing practices #LOVE ALL TYPES OF PIERCINGS especially ones that are used to 'scare' outsiders <3 #when i was a kid they used to tell us about the Mystical African Tribes that STRETCHED THEIR LIPS (scary!!!!)...#...if it isn't obvious i hate that the lip plate especially practiced by the Mursi and many others have been used for frankly rascist ideas #i brought up the lip thing because i learned a lot about iirc the Mursi practice of lip plating and it's given me more appreciation for it!!#it's ENDLESSLY fascinating and i wish i hadn't been shown the negative bias against them first

88 notes · View notes

arthrobug · 5 months

Text

Here I go, over-analyzing a singular scene from Captain Laserhawk, and of course it's Rayman!

Minor nudity/minor sexual talk warning!

So this absolutely famous scene, am I right?

Few hours ago, I started thinking about every single thing Rayman had done in Captain Laserhawk, and how I could analyze it.

And so I realized a few things about this moment, or I just overthought a few things in this moment, but ANYWAYS!-

This particular practice is called Nyotaimori -Nantaimori for male models- and it's translation can be dumbed down to 'body sushi'. It's the Japanese practice of eating food, primarily sushi, off of a female model.

At first, I had this idea: "Hey, what if Rayman deciding to hire a Nyotaimori model is one of the ways he tries to futilely connect to others?" Here's a few notes as to why I thought this:

It's been clearly stated that Rayman is incredibly lonely, and there are a few scenes and things he does that shows he's a bit desperate for any sort of interaction. I mean, even if he was drunk and coked up off his rocker, he still listened to an ominous message on his TV and willingly went to go talk to a 'terrorist', and even was minorly friendly with Bullfrog even though they had just met. Rayman was also still under the impression that the hybrid was a terrible person that just happened to be a bit nice, but he still continued to talk to him even though he really had no primary reason to other than 'talk to the frog'.

Someone -even though it's a paid interaction- willingly undressing themselves to be completely nude and allowing you to eat food off of them while they lay on their stomach is a very intimate (non-sexual) thing. It could be a non-verbal feeling of trust that Rayman gains from engaging in this practice. He might not even know her name, but he might believe that she trusts he won't hurt her.

Rayman doesn't seem necessarily sexual with this model, he's just eating and watching television. Of course, he could've done something more sensual and/or sexual with this model before he saw his copy on the big screen, but we will likely never know if he did, so the assumption that he hadn't is more prominent. His goal with this practice wasn't for sexual gratification, it's just to have someone be there, whether they want to or not.

And so, I decided to do some more research on Nyotaimori, and even more things were brought to my attention. The main point I gather from this is:

This is a very unprofessional and likely unregulated meeting.

There are actually a lot of rules usually strictly set in businesses that sell Nyotaimori!

Sushi should not be placed directly on the body. There should be some form of divider, like a banana leaf or plastic wrapping. The model Rayman is eating off of clearly has no divider whatsoever. Additionally, you're usually not allowed to touch the model whatsoever. Rayman didn't touch her in this scene, but it just adds to the 'I don't think he was sexual or sensual with her'. (He's was 100% a rule-follower to the end at this point... Other than hard drugs.)

Not too surprising, but there are indeed body regulations (what a person's body should look like). Although the idea isn't surprising, the main regulation itself is. A model shouldn't be big-breasted, they aim for smaller cupped women, 'so the sushi doesn't roll off'. The model seemingly has very large breasts, although that could be the reason why she's on her stomach, but that's another issue.

As mentioned, the model is on her stomach. Nyotaimori models are placed on their backs, and actually have some form of covering most of the time! Shells, thongs, petals, and as seen with this model, some flowers! Another thing however, is that she's very nonchalant. She's swinging her legs, eating an olive, and subtly reacts to Rayman when he sees his look-alike. Models aren't allowed to react to what their patrons do, unless they are being incredibly inappropriate towards them.

The areas where models and their patron(s) are going to be eating/sitting still for very long periods at are set up meticulously, even in at-home sessions. In the background, you can subtly see a bra on the couch and possibly a pair of underwear hanging from a lamp, these are highly likely to be the model's. It's seemingly a very messy meeting, which is unusual.

SO! I can make the assumption from all this is that: This hybrid cow is a beginner model and doesn't care too much about professionalism; the business she works for just doesn't care, OR she's just some joe schmoe (which is a very unsettling idea to be honest) and was casually up for Rayman eating sushi off her ass and back, OR Eden's regulations for Nyotaimori are incredibly lax.

What does that all lead up to? Still the first idea: Rayman is desperate for any form of connection, even if they don't talk to him. He just wants someone to be there, whether they actually care about him or not.

This idea also contributes to how he stayed under the Council's clutches for so long. They gave him attention. Although they were definitely the reason he's needy for any type of attention, they gave him their eyes consistently sparingly and convinced him that was all he was ever going to get.

And tying this to his first interaction with Bullfrog and how he turned against Eden so quick and didn't just adamantly deny Bullfrog's vision, Bullfrog gave him the most neutral attention he has ever received in decades.

Not overly positive attention like he gets on his show (which definitely is fake to him), and not suffocatingly negative attention that the Council and some speciest people like Red have shown him- Bullfrog gave Rayman his real, raw attention, and it's probably going to be become like a drug to him.

#arthrobug #bugbrain #bugbrain bumblings #captain laserhawk #captain laserhawk blood dragon remix #bugsy rambles and overanalyzes a scene clearly meant to be a joke againnn #because of coursee he diddd #rayman #bullfrog #clh #cl #character analysis #cw #cw minor nudity #oh shit it's past midnight I started typing this at 10:50 uhhhh #i fucked up my amino streak AGAIN damn 😔#duolingo's going to be so pissed off at meeeee wahhhh

73 notes · View notes

jeremy-queere · 1 year

Text

Screw it, I'm posting SQUIP lore anyway

I just spent an hour writing the word "squip" over and over with varying capitalization nuances, so I am posting the exposition whether it is needed or not.

Okay. OKAY. ok. SO. In the pre-musical days where the Be More Chill novel was published and the internet was young and exciting, there was a tie-in website.

I lied. There were TONS of tie-in websites. They all existed in-universe and were ridiculously interconnected, and thank god for the wayback machine. Be More Chill was advertised - or as Jeremy says, "I wrote that above. I wrote Be More Chill too, with the help of my squip, under the name Ned Vizzini, which I figured was so dumb no one would think was real." The websites were linked as product testimonials or website ads (cheekily disclaimered as "Ads by Squipple").

I don't know if I can even collect all the website urls quickly without missing some but here's a spattering (with the link going to the wayback machine). Most of these websites aren't just a single page but an entire site:

Humiliationsheet.com for a list of Jeremy's daily mortification events

Squipette, a SQUIP - but pink!

Bemorechill.com, Jeremy's book website

InterSquip.com for people worried about cybersecurity - with or without a squip, take this pill and see who has one installed!

GenerationSquip.com - Sort of an unreality disclaimer that also serves as fan hype. (How do we know it's old? It suggests we "google 'squip'" and helpfully provides us with a hyperlink to the google home page.) It calls this "the squipiverse" a "100% participatory reality"

Squipped.com - a gossip rag collecting user testimonials about bad experiences with squips. It, like many of these sites, collected fan-submitted content - "Tell us about what happened to you when you came in touch with a squip! (If you don't have a story, use your imagination--we need ruthless tactics to fight the industry.)"

Squipnews.com - collecting SQUiP tips from the community in the fields of Business, Technology, SQUiP & Society, Health, and Entertainment

Iwanttobecool.org - Promoting the use of squips despite those naysayers Squipsters Against Squips. As the site poll asks: "How should we deal with anti-squip cyber-terrorists? - jail time - fines - physical dismemberment"

SQUIPusa.com - SQUIP-specific insurance which regrettably does not cover squipotomy or squipiatry, but does cover some SQUIP viruses: "SQUIPusa squipsters are now entitled to one free virtual session with an Intersquip squipnician for each week they have lost their "coolness" due to a National Squip Board-recognized virus. Valid up to six weeks"

Squipsoft.com, the parent company of squip technology. Its homepage addresses important questions like: how can you get good grades that aren't so perfect as to tip off the authorities? Use "Squipsoft School" which promises "guaranteed averages of 96.82 in every subject" except for Business Ethics or Compubiology. Or install SquipServer, which is an honest-to-god VPN ad: "Using a virtual private network (VPN) framework, this revolutionary technology turns your squip into a server capable of temporarily extending your coolness to up to three acquaintances."

CelebritySquip.com - "What percentage of American Idol finalists have squips?"

SquipWorks.com - Offering add-on tech for your squip like the MakeOut Optimizer 4.0 or the Nanolyzer (which picks up on social clues to one billionth of a meter).

SquipWorld - A more chatty experience of Squips spotted in the wild and other squip news.

Squipzophrenia.com - (I'm not endorsing the term...) - Information about the phenomenon in the novel where, if a SQUIP is turned on while the user drinks alcohol, it starts ordering them to kill people. This site has academic research on the subject and related Squip disorders. "However, [avoiding alcohol] is not a foolproof plan. Marijuana and mescaline can also cause squipzophrenia, although with the mescaline we're not sure and just think it might be the mescaline, you know?" Other squip disorders include "Loss of recognition of squip insertion i.e. 'I didn't take a pill, I'm just cool naturally!'" which can be cured via the Konami code; Squip flashbacks after a Squip is removed (which the site describes as likely false claims for the sake of "perpetuating insurance fraud"); the dangers of buying used Squips on ebay; or feeling that you can't live without your squip: "acute squipdependence. The solution is to surround yourself with calming bright plastic objects and remember that everything is fine."

Squipsters Against Squips - The notorious anti-Squip lobbying group advocating for a National Squip Registry.

Squipster - A squip-based social media platform that sadly doesn't seem to have made it to the public yet.

#be more chill #bmc #squip #idk if tumblr will even show this in the tags because of the many many links

237 notes · View notes

fanfic-lover-girl · 8 months

Text

Magical Education in Harry Potter

I have continued reading snippets of HP and I realized once again how...boring the magic is in HP. Besides Snape, Dumbledore and Voldemort I think, no one in HP really does anything exceptional or innovative with their magic. Well...there are the Marauders with their map and their animagus transformations. Plus the Weasley twins are super creative too with their products. But I think that's it really. I will be mega generous and throw in Draco fixing the cabinet and Hermione's DA coins too.

Not even Harry Potter, who is supposed to be the chosen one and hero of the story, does anything great. He's tragically mediocre and not in a good way. I do not consider summoning a patronus at 13 to be a marvel. Considering he had special lessons from Lupin and his performing the spell is not really a special/new/creative magical endeavour.

The muggle world has great technological innovations. But wizards are not innovating magic on the same level at all. And I think part of the problem is their magical education system.

First, starting to learn magic at 11 is total rubbish. Using Avatar: The Last Airbender as an example. Learning magic at 11 is comparable to someone learning they can bend at 5 but they don't start training until 11. Or someone in our world has prodigious abilities but they don't train until high school. Do you see how dumb this is?

So in the meantime, wizard kids have this power that they can't control properly. It's not that big of a deal if the kid has a magical family but what about mugglebornes like Hermione or kids who grew up in muggle families like Harry?? Harry was literally a hazard to the Dursleys in more ways than one and it's understandable, not excusable, that they hated him.

Plus Hermione's character is annoying due to her role as an exposition device. It's tiresome that a muggleborne girl is constantly showing up purebloods who literally grew up around magic. As the books go on, she takes over Ron's role in the trio as the magical common sense guy. In reality, mugglebornes should be at a major disadvantage. Let's say I am trying to learn Spanish. I have no Spanish-speaking family. And let's say I end up in a class of immigrant kids whose parents all speak Spanish. They may not be fluent themselves but they have a huge headstart on me. In time I will catch up to them, especially if I work hard like Hermione, but initially, I would perform worse than them. As first years, the pureblood and halfblood kids should be blowing Hermione out of the water. If not for the entire first year then at least the first semester/term.

So how would I fix this issue? Four ways:

Magical kindergarten/elementary school

Hogwarts should be a highschool/college level institution. Or maybe Hogwarts could have different school levels. Kids should learn the introductory concepts for Charms, Transfiguration, Potions etc in primary/elementary school or even from their freaking parents. Ron's intro scene with that make my rat yellow prank spell was just sad. And having Hermione call him out for the spell not being real was just more salt in my annoyance. As kids, they learn the basics like wand movement, magic theory and safety. And basic spells.

Advanced learning

When they go to Hogwarts they should focus more on application and higher levels of theory. For example: Magical Ethics (what are the moral boundaries of magic **cough**rapedrugs**cough**polyjuicepotion**cough**), Magical Research (do projects/experiments to learn more about the nature of magic, like how is elf magic different from wizard magic), Spellmaking (why is Snape the only dude in HP inventing spells!), Improvised Spells (like in Wizards of Waverly Place), Magic Economics (how does magic work with the concept of scarcity, what is scarcity in the wizarding world), Magical Defense (not just against the dark arts but basic defence like self-defence in our world and perhaps survival skills) etc. They should learn non-verbal and non-wand magic as well of course. Maybe this could be taught at the end of primary school or the beginning of Hogwarts. Instead of the very end of their Hogwarts education.

Accessible classes for mugglebornes

So what about mugglebornes, you say? Well, there are two options. You can provide after-school classes for muggleborne students to learn magic before they attend Hogwarts. Think of extra lessons or night classes in our world. Or you can send the mugglebornes to summer school(s) before Hogwarts which leads me to my next point.

Different Class Tracks

Put muggleborne kids in a different class track from the purebloods/halfbloods who went to magical primary. Like how we have advanced classes for students who are super bright or slower-paced classes for students who need extra help. Students like Hermione would gradually graduate to the advanced track while lazier students like Harry may stay in the slower track. Or maybe bright students like Hermione could do placement tests to get into the advanced track from the start. Some pureblood students could even be demoted to the slower track if they begin to goof off (maybe Ron) or need extra help (maybe Neville). And you can mix and match! So Neville would be in Class 1 Herbology but Class 2 Potions :). Maybe Harry would be in Class 1 DADA but Class 2 Potions etc.

If lack of teachers is an issue, then pureblood families would teach their own kids and the primary school would be exclusively for muggleborne kids and/or pureblood/halfblood kids whose parents can't provide tutoring.

Conclusion

So yeah, that's how I would revamp the school system. Hogwarts is a weird school. Like students leave as adults but leaving Hogwarts feels like leaving primary school. I never felt prepared for the world after highschool but at least we have college/university. Even if HP has trade schools/apprenticeships for jobs like healing and being an auror, I think their magical education is seriously lacking. And the spellwork in HP is honestly very lame. Wands just end up being like guns. More battles should be like the Voldy vs Dumbles fight in book 5.

Magic should be something kids learn from the cradle. Magic is not a subject like Math is. Magic is literally part of who they are. Learning magic should be treated like learning how to groom yourself, eat healthily or even speak. It's strange how Hogwarts and the ministry restrict students from learning magic outside of classes. Maybe it's a conspiracy??

79 notes · View notes

inkstainedhandswithrings · 1 year

Text

TB S2 EP 13 THOUGHTS!

True, Omega has gotten really good with being a soldier. She's staying cool in high tension situations, she has good aim, thinks on her feet and outsmarts her opponents easily. But Phee is right, Omega hasn't gotten to just be a kid for a while now. She deserves to have a proper childhood

LOVED seeing Hunter's enhanced senses at work. Sometimes I catch myself going "froce sensitive?" just because he's so hyper-aware

^this is just based on him grabbing that dudes wrist when he tried to take his money

THAT MOMENT WHEN WRECKER GOT UP WHEN THE GUY WAS ALL "shoulda brought more muscle" BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR BITCH

Phee shooting that guy under the table like damn girly alright

"Yes, I am playing against myself. It is the only time this game is a challenge." YES BABY TELL 'EM ALL HOW SMART YOU ARE🤍🤍🤍

"We never had such a thing. I do not see the issue." Oh,,,, oh Tech Baby. Stop telling people how dumb you are🤍🤍🤍

Hunter did look like he was mulling over Phee's words

CID CAN GO AND :)

"Our mutually beneficial agreement wasn't so beneficial,,, mutually." Hunter your himbo is showing babes

HHHHH OKAY IT'S SUBTLE BUT!!! When Phee types in the coordinates to Pabu, her hand lands on Tech's shoulder. He briefly glances down at it, somewhat skeptically, and then she lifts it off again, before patting his shoulder and his eyes widen a little bit and maybe im too invested in this ship and I'll be quiet now bye

PABU IS SO PRETTY OMG

I LOVE that Phee isn't like a pirate-pirate. Like I thought she was shady but dang, she's just taking back people's heritage that was stolen from them and I LOVE IT

"Got some competition." WAAAAHH I KNEW IT

"Welcome" "Welcome" "Welcome" "Welc-" "PUT IT THERE" WRECKER I LOVE YOU

"Lots of food, drink and general merrimaking," points at Tech, "You'll probably hate it. It'll be great." Tech rolls eyes

^YOUR HONOUR I LOVE THEM

NO BECAUSE BECAUSE Tech is the sassy b in the squad and Phee switching her flirting technique from "hi there good looking" to "lol dumb b" IS EXACTLY WHAT OUR BOY WANTS AND SHE FCKING KNOWS IT

AND THEN IT WORKS BC TECH TURNS AROUND TO LOOK AT HER WHEN THEY SPLIT AND HE'S LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE AND THEN HE HAS THE LITTLE SMILE AND DOWN ANGLED FACE AND WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I have not heard her laugh like that in some time." Heeeeessss learniiiiing (that Phee was right lol)

"As a father, you couldn't ask for a better place to raise a child." Okay, glad we're all on the same page. Like, I'm glad all we gotta do is take one goddamn look at Hunter and just go "Dad."

I know it's supposed to be a joke again, but like Wrecker being full for the first time? That's so sad. Imagine going to bed hungry EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Being full for the first time is something to remember, Tech should be writing it down.

Omega and Lyana bonding on the boat was so sweet!!

Phee getting Tech away from his datapad to get him to appreciate life's beauty IS MAKING MY HEART SO FULL

"Pretty spectacular, right?" <- Phee using the word spectacular, even though its not in her usual vocabulary, because she's generally more succinct and down to earth, but it's totally a word Tech would use

"I suppose... that is... one way to... quantify it." <- Whenever Tech talks about data or research (topics without emotional involvement) his sentences flow nicely and evenly and he gets about 100 out in 2 seconds. Whenever he has to talk about emotions or emotions are involved in the conversation suddenly he gets quieter and his sentences have less of a flow. He doesn't stutter, but he needs a minute to get them out. hmm yes very interesting.

Hunter checking in with the girls, so cute

Omegas learned a lot and has been pretty secure in her ability, but hearing her sound so scared when the wave came? dang. loved that she immediately called hunter though. V sweet :)

TECH AND PHEE WORKING TOGETHER

PHEE HOLDING ON TO TECH TO GET UP THE WALL HEHEHEHEHEHHE

Not a single 'fear of heights' comment from Wrecker when climbing that ladder. Proud of him :)

Tech pushing through that crowd to check on his bro THE CUTENESS

Wrecker side-hugging the mayor when he's looking at all the destruction I CAN'T THAT'S SO SWEET

So,,, so Phee and Tech just move as a unit now, huh... very interesting

Phee not letting Tech disturb Omega, Lyana, and Wrecker and him listening to her so quickly just,,, I think she'll end up helping him connect to/understand human emotion better and show him how to navigate relationships and I'm SO HERE FOR IT

Like she knows people and is clearly good with relationships, and he recognises that and trusts her to point him in the right direction, WHICH HE DIDN'T AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE!!!

"We could stay and help out with things."

"I had the same idea."

"Did you, now?"

cue cute smiling at eachother

WAAAAAAAA MY BABIES!!!!

10/10 episode, made my heart v happy. Dave Filoni, I have left your walls, you may live in peace until next week.

285 notes · View notes

mrmuftin · 17 days

Note

You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole.

The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did.

When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality.

After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society.

No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member.

Your birth made it so that mankind is worse off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover any state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune.

I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell.

You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair.

You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being.

Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are.

Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe.

In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now.

You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet even that would only represent a small part of your evil. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an abomination, but here you are.

It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you.

Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors would have too many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it.

I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did.

The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant.

Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring.

You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the Black Death and the Smallpox pandemic only happened with the goal of preparing humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created.

If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched.

You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again.

The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe.

I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating, working as hard and efficiently as possible, there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world.

When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.

My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that, when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless.

Huh?

28 notes · View notes

novelcain · 1 year

Note

I meant like, the whole homophobia/transphobia thing, unless China was very accepting of enbys. Idk I don't really do history.

OOOOOOHHHH!!! Sorry I have a big dumb Skittle brain and am incapable of reading between the lines when it comes to nonverbal communication. 😅 Ok ok I did some research on this just now so I could give an accurate (as much as I can but I'm no expert for sure) answer.

And that answer is... it depends.

China has a very long history regarding sexually and its views of sex have shifted a LOT from one era to another. But for this post, we'll focus on the Tang Dynasty because that is the time period JTTW is set in (tho which time period of the Tang Dynasty is unclear)

So I'll start by saying that the Tang Dynasty was notoriously open about sex and sexual desires and homosexually was accepted in ancient but only in certain situations. Usually homosexuality or simply non-straight behavior was only accepted and allowed within the upper class. For example most if not all (I'm not too sure) Chinese emperors had several male lovers and they didn't hide it as it was often revered with great admiration.

NOW as far as gender orientation goes. This would HIGHLY depend on the person and their beliefs as during this period China was dominated by 2 religions Taoism and Buddhism.

Taoism was the official religion of the Tang Dynasty and states that nature is perfect as is and by proxy some believe that would mean they view transgenderism as a flaw of nature while most Taoists themselves do not view transgenderism negatively as the Tao is pretty unconcerned with identity and focuses on virtue and coming to accept things as they were born in nature. Therefore I think the only thing that would even remotely be said against transgenderism from a Taoist standpoint is that you shouldn't feel the need to change your body to reflect your mind. Conclusion: ancient Taoism would likely accept transgenderism so long as you don't pursue gender affirming surgery.

Now while the official religion of China at the time was Taoism, many emperors highly favored Buddhism and that can even be believed of the emperor described in JTTW.

That being said. Buddhism believes that the body is a cage that traps the spirit in suffering and should therefore be distanced from as much as possible. HOWEVER! The Buddha himself said that while you should try to separate yourself from the Earthly Realm one's body should be used as a tool of awakening, and given that awakening in to find Nirvana, one could argue that pursuing your gender identity is simply using your body to reflect your soul and therefore is good. But honestly Buddhists are pretty chill and as long as you ain't hurting anyone or anything I HIGHLY doubt a true Buddhist would care what you do so long as you live amicably. Conclusion: transgenderism would likely be cool with about 99% of Buddhists even in ancient China.

Overall conclusion: MOST people probably wouldn't care, though these are ancient times, so I'd really read the room before offering any info about being gender nonconforming or nonbinary. Having said that, the worst thing you'd have to do is pretend to be whatever gender you most closely resemble. But honestly I think a lot about how it'd be best to pretend to be a man when traveling as they are much less likely to be attacked, assaulted, or hate crimed.

So again, in situations like these you need to be flexible and willing to present as something you aren't. And while that can be hard, I feel like dying via whatever brutal death an extreme transphobe can think of is a lot harder. So if you play your cards right the most a nonbinary reader would get is probably some nasty comments and a few even nastier looks. Tho both could easily be corrected by Tripitaka explaining they shouldn't do that and that isn't what Buddhism believes if the person is a Buddhist and if that doesn't work or they aren't Buddhist then a few sharp glares from the Great Sage Equal to Heaven should be more than enough to get them to knock it the fuck off. Tho if you're good at talking people over to your side then they probably wouldn't even need to step in.

As for how the group would take it, I think they'd all accept it rather quickly after you explain what being enby is with maybe the exception of Bajie who just truly doesn't understand so you'd just have to explain the concept of other genders to him a few times.

I hope this answers your question at least somewhat 😊

#then again i personally identify as agender so maybe this is just me being hopeful #skittle answers #isekai'd to the west #journey to the west #jttw #transgenderism in ancient china #historical analysis #nonbinary #transgender #trans #gay #homosexuality #lgbtq+

89 notes · View notes

twstfanblog · 4 months

Note

I love your writing so much! Your Yuu OC is so cool and I am so obsessed with their energy <3

Writing request time~! Can I get some headcannons of Yuu visiting all of the twst clubs for the first time?

HI FRIEND! Sorry this took me so long to do! But ok, so I actually have this planned out as a chapter in my main story fic. So this is a perfect way to get it all written out for myself!

BUT ONTO THE ASK! MY YUU'S FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE NRC CLUBS!

BASKETBALL CLUB

Hi Jamil~ Flirty to the max, making him miss the shot he was trying to do

Isn't into sports in the slightest, but wanted to see what was offered at the school

Is honestly, too physical to play basketball, she'd be elbowing people in the ribs and Floyd would be supporting her

So for the safety of the other teams, Yuu was not allowed to join

Promises to come to the games to cheer for Jamil and Floyd (And Ace, but fuck him)

TRACK CLUB

Not a chance in hell. Boobs too big to be running around

Made fun of Deuce for thinking the school would have what is basically a motorcycle club

Did tell him it was a good choice of club since he wanted to be a cop in his future

Left the second Vargas showed up

BOARD GAMES CLUB

"Oh cool, Ortho's brother" "I have a name." "I don't care."

Liked the idea of the club, but couldn't see themselves actually joining. Enjoyed making Idia think they were gonna join

First meeting with Azul takes place here

Told them about the concept of 'The Game' and let that seed of chaos be planted into Idia's head to use against Azul at the most random of times (Sorry I made you lose UnU;)

EQUESTRIAN CLUB

"How much money does this school have?????"

Another they had no intention of joining but was really interested in watching

Later on, they help out with basic horse care if free time permits

Yuu: Wow this school really has whole-ass horses on campus? Silver: Silver: As opposed to??? Half-ass horses??? Yuu:

Yuu states only one 'Funny Bitch' can be in a club at a time and Silver clearly holds onto his title well

LIGHT MUSIC CLUB

HI KALIM!

If Yuu had a will for public performing this would be their club! sadly they don't so they didn't join officially.

Yuu still has their music library so they share their world's music with them a lot later on.

Not a member, but will pop in from time to time to do a jam session with them

Lilia gets her a shirt that says 'LMC #1 FAN' on the back as a gift

SPELL DRIVE CLUB

Another sport club that was interesting, but not something they'd do

Only goes to the games if dragged there by the other firsties but is an aggressive fan for Epel

Kepting asking Leona dumb questions because he was trying to sleep DURING TRYOUTS

Yuu likes the concept of Spell Drive, just doesn't have the care to really play or watch it

Has told Epel he should hit someone with his broom though

SCIENCE CLUB

Trey says 'No' with a smile

He's not TRYING to kill Yuu's budding passion for magical sciences, he's TRYING to protect the masses from the bioweapon they're probably gonna make on accident

Rook is so excited, he wants Yuu to join the club so badly

Trey knows Yuu will either make something that will actually kill someone or would drink something they're not supposed to on accident and die.

Yuu was not allowed to join the science club UnU

MOUNTAIN LOVERS CLUB

Honestly, feels so bad for Jade. Dude's clearly got a passion for his hobby and wants to share it with others

But also "Jade are you actually confused why no one wants to join your club and be alone with you in the fucking woods?????"

Not too excited for all the hiking the club seems to be (Interest is peaked at the opportunity to pet a bear though)

Promised Jade if they didn't find a club to join by the end of the day, they'd circle back and join his club

"I'm friends with your brother, you can't make me disappear that easily" "We'll see~"

FILM RESEARCH CLUB

What are you researching????

Honestly, the whole time just asked Vil questions in an attempt to frustrate him and point out how the club was a THEATER CLUB more than a Film Research club

Ends up joining because they ARE a theater club kid and is more than willing to take on the backstage work, that's their favorite part

Does end up being known as having infamously bad movie tastes and ended up traumatizing the whole club via trying to prove a point to Vil by sharing a movie from their world

OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE FILM RESEARCH CLUB~!

GARGOYLE RESEARCH SOCIETY

Didn't know Malleus even had a club until he told her that night

Malleus didn't know the club fair was that day

Yuu shared their pint of depression ice cream with him while he pouted

Compromised in simply joining him on his walks or letting him info dump about a new gargoyle he found or his favored styles

Yuu will walk around abandoned areas themselves sometimes and take pictures to show Malleus to ask if he knows the gargoyle or not

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #yuu oc

22 notes · View notes

fierceawakening · 4 days

Text

Not sure if this is just old age making me closed minded but the older I get the less I feel interested in guns, even as funky props for my characters to go pewpew with.

Like HF recently dropped a pair of sci fi pistols and I’d previously set myself the goal of arming Kax with everything, posing my character with all the weapons just because she’s a fighty gremlin who would totally test everything out, and I posed her with one of the guns and just… found myself not at all enjoying the experience of researching proper aim and copying the pose, which I otherwise find a fun challenge.

I dunno. I’m not saying guns are evil or people who like them are. I live in a state with a lot of rural areas and I don’t think everyone who hunts is a three percenter or a school shooter. A lot of people do more risky stuff than I do, and they’re not evil, they’re just not me.

And as far as fiction goes I played FPSes all the time in adolescence, with my dad’s blessing (“it’s okay to turn the blood animation on. It’s okay to turn it off. I have funny feelings about it too sometimes, but choose to leave it on. You get to make the same decision, kiddo.” “Okay, I’ll leave it on.” “Okay.”)

But I dunno. I was watching something about the Rust armorer trial and how intensely negligent she was with the weapons and ammo, and while I thought that made her a goddamn fool I also just kept thinking how if not for the job of armorer requiring heightened awareness those would be the kind of dumb mistake anyone can make (mixing the contents of this box of ammo with that one, for example.)

And I just thought… that’s too much for me. I don’t really want to be in or even think much about a situation where regular old human forgetfulness can end in somebody dying.

It seems like I should like guns. I’m kinky. I like knives. I fish. I do archery, which also involves flinging a projectile at speed. There’s a risk there too.

But I don’t even know. I guess I feel the same way about it I feel about the thought of doing breath play kink. “I know lots of people do this and it’s fine. I, however, am a butterfingers and a goddamn dumbass.”

9 notes · View notes

austinsastrology8991 · 10 months

Text

> Issues I have with you/occult / world < *long post* do not read if you don't want to waste your time < a subjective analysis of Astrology, numerology, manifestation, and a subtle exposé of my life

I got issues... but more importantly i got issues with you. I do a lot of research n i hate being told what to do/ and the occult gotta habit of telling me who tf i am.

and Im better at telling myself who tf I am.

THIs is who i am. <^> stop googly eyin me; foo

This is a fkn mess of a post > try your best to read; it was meant to be a story but im incapable > I just want you to have headache (me after reading this shit 20 times or whatever it is) i;m tired. now go away. or read. or die in a hole. all the same to me. astrology is a subjective subject. IDGAF how many books youve read or how many people you speak too; we are literally looking at a planet in space and are saying shit liek " oh im dat type of pretty (venus), im dominant over here (mars), and thats why my life sux (saturn) " meanwhile, the planet still just rotating and we like acting like we apart of its orbit. Its objectively a subjective subject... > its objective only in your natal chart - where the planets are etc.... but interpretations > subjective Sidenote- Im obsessed with astrology.... because my life sucks. and i need to like feel productive somehow - stfu i know this isnt productive, but tell me what you doing? don't act all jiminy cricket on me, when your soundtrack is that of a cricket beginning of rant Also: the mythology and practise of intepretating planets and asteroids, and well the complicated drama that is greek/roman mythology. while there is plenty of overlap, the sheer concept of 2 different intepretations created upon from, 2 seperate cultures, creates different texts and slight differences inherent within each story. this initself creates a subjective intepretation of aforementioned stories > not to mention other cultures who likely put their own narrative of these mythos > it allows us to also intepret it in our own way > it is all just imagination at the end of the day. Whilst the themes are uncannily similar, the form is always different, and thats why I like to intepret it in my own way, and i recommend you do tooo (Alike everything in this subject) ; however we need some clear rules, and guidelines, to make this subject actually palatable, but i fear this community would rather keep it confusing so we can treasure the secrets of the occult on our own. and to that I do understsnd, however, anyone reading tumblr astrology, I believe to already be taking that leap into the occult and should be granted at least some introductory access. and here is (1) problem

Astrology signs are the how, and the houses are the where, > yet you all describe 2nd house a whole lot like tuarus, 10th house lot like capricorn. I mean Ik its similar but yall acting like its different yet your intepretations aint all dat different from each other..... but if the how for you is the where for me, then how tf is it so hard for me to see the differences?… if there is such a startling difference like yall always claim.. to me the themes are so fkn similar whereby > i think its the same > degree, house, sign; same shit diff smell

This however made 4 years ago me, very insecure.:.. 😢I couldn’t figure out the difference and I felt dumb 🤧 but That was 4 years ago - I was noob…. made me realize things like: we got an attitude problem today - we youngins always apologizing, trying to make others comfortable about our bullshit (Anxiety skill issue), yet the old fucks are hella comfortable telling us what to do (authority skill issue), like bro. you dont even know me, and im supposed to bow to you, just so your gonna bread crumb me with some bs self professed 'useful' advice??? if you talked to each other youd realize you all have the same advice... and you too old to keep up with my problems, so stop acting like you know.....

and so like uh, its not bold of me to say that; if your a legit astrologer you know you can just read people. yes everyone has free will, and other explanations to undermine the importance of astrology, but we know whats going on > try me > *sales pitch noise*<

Tumblr astrology is good but not proffesional, just: posts about random asteroids, random observations, random sexytime, and the occasional ‘official’ astrologers bread crumbing us to incentivize us to pay for a reading…. Now I got nothing better to do with my life (nor do you clearly) so we all on here fucking around> but I made da sacrifice > I spent real money

And these 'readings' > dog shit I tell ya > oh don’t worry none of them were from tumblr people. But people in my city and they knew less than what I knew (from reading your tumblr shits)

So it turns out you guys lowkey experts - we done a million random astrology observations - and if your a lurker, you lowkey know more than some pros; and da concept of analyzing people in your life with astrology has made you a *drum roll* > an average astrologer. your not average, if the experts are only 20% better than you (lets say). so with this in mind your not that far off their expertise.. oh you cant measure it? tell me what i dont know < (tell me more) IM HUNGRY, MORE POSTS, MY FEED IS FUCKInG HUNGRY

Now however wasting my money > pissed me off… but its a blessing, becasuse i became >.....> not depressed!!! Finally I got my energy back >>> legs go...

So I learned to read astrology. I just kept reading these websites and interpreting them and well.. I think they overcomplicate a lot of things, and they say it like a report card, when obviously you and I are multiple planets, aspects, houses, degrees, house lords, persona charts, midpoints, asteroids, not to mention composite, synastry, transits solar return , and all da other fkn ones that I cannot be bothered mentioning. Yet there’s a whole fucking essay about one aspect… like bro you couldn’t make a summary? and im supposed to read each of my other aspects? (ofc i did) but like this is just trying to make me spend money (too much reading) and well Im a greedy little fuck so imma drain your resources and not give you a dime >t > SWIPER NO SWIPING <

and i hate watching people trynna act like they know shit yet eat their own words n adjectives like you aint a professional; you just labeled yourself one > wheres your doctorate at bitch? Had enough shitty readings to not trust another 'tarot reader', but its cool the 'psychologists' aint did much better > thank you mother for the birth of my existence but shi dis place a fkn willy wonkin fsctory - and its foul - most places that try to help you that is.... ' you need to be able to receive help' bitch stfu yall underestimsting my problems and overestimating your ability to make me feel better; BITCH I STFG you dont know shiiiiitiittttttttttt > and yall look happy dont you > "dont trust a bartender who dont drink bitch" - KanYe. Numeroloy 'master numbers' > So many sites only use master numbers from 11 > 22 > 33... but wheres the 44? the 55? the 66?????? dont tell me yall didnt realize that every 'master number' still reverts back to each number (9). > 11 =2, 22 = 4, 33=6, 55 = 1, 66 = 3, 77=5..... bro god stsyed outta this mess clearly..... and its always the ones that be inventing new gods that fuck everything too 🤫 furthermore annoyances of numerofuckology - because they reduce the number back down.. .e.g. you have life path 89 > which is simplified to 17 > then to 8.... why not use 89? why we dissin 9 ????? let alone the complete number??? why not intepret both numbers together???? yall just wanna do 1 because your simple with it. and 9 getting left out fr... and yall always celebrating how special 9 is yet he always left out (magic of math - adding 9 - always reverts back to original) honestly - sometiems its so obvious why yall became numerologists sometimes...... Dont even get me started on ANGEL NUMBERS i could neva stfu

i mean yall still trying to test how true it all is, but if you throw a fish at a pisces they gonna go all googly eye on you. tell a scorpio that you intimidated and now your their favourite informant... read their life path number, and you know what they wanna be doing with their life.... i mean it really is a key, and yall locks are looser than you think... watch yo back.. i wouldnt trust someone who can help me (what do they even want), let alone get help from someone who is useless; why would you? dont act like you dont have trust issues, its like our way of relating to each other at this point. your good at sex if you have.... what about the other person? i mean if you masterbate to yoself maybe.... but if a composite chart / synastry have say - chiron eros? pluto saturn? mars dejanira.... how much are you gonna be fucking yourself when you fucked a dirty fucka..... rip virginity - and rip yo self esteem - dangerous game to value your sex appeal as much as you do...... or maybe your living a fantasy on the internet, and that is healthier, but thoughts are manifestations.... oh shit what da fuck have i manifested oh shitttttttttt IM BEING SUCKED IN A VORTEX OF MY OWN SHIT, SOMONE CALL A MANIFESTOR AGHJH AGJJGH please dont be offended, i do like this community; im just a devils advocate... sometimes 👹

you guys put too muhc importance on manifeststion, and i mean if you think its facts, look at what the people around you are manifesting.... OH thats why you isolate so much. so your manifesting loneliness.... oh you try to help people, so your just a trash can for a rubish person.... you see what i mean, manifestation aint so clear cut as you seem to believe. I believe in it, but Im so used to receiving crap, I learned to enjoy eating shit (we all did) and what is "one mans trash is another mans soap" - fight club Oh and Pluto my favourite - every curse a blessing and every blessing a curse.... stop complaining > he gave you the sauce and the only way to show you was to make you cry > lil bitch > pluto profile pic winking at you rn natal > persona > midpoint > composite > synastry > transit > return charts this is the offical order governed by me- so much more imporatnt to understand yourself over what the world got installed / what your partner doing - work on yo insecurities rather than be worried about something you have no control ova

hmmm thats all the issues i have for now.... just look at me as the boy who cried wolf. they aint a wolf here yet; but they gonna be, and im warning yall > why people dont get it...its because there are too many contradictions > but i fully believe, ive had so many spiritual experiences where if i denied them, id be drinking alcohol and pretending i aint a alcoholic. and i do love yall, but sometimes your an eye roll 29th post requires. 29 degree typa energy - YOlo MOfo

#astrology blog #astrology #astro community #numerology

46 notes · View notes