#and i haven't really taken care of myself today

[rad-bitch-sad-bitch]

.

#had one of those days at work where I barely got anything done #and felt like a huge weight was on my chest #like fucking lead in my lungs #and moving at all is taking all my effort #i haven't eaten all day #and i haven't really taken care of myself today #but like FUCK its just hard today #personal

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Thinking about You... | JJK

Summary: Jungkook has been thinking about your future together Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook Word Count: 1.5k~ Warnings: No real warnings just some cute fluff and a little bit of suggestive comments. Author’s note: Just a little Drabble that I came up with last night after I had seen Jungkook live <3

I've been missing Jungkook like crazy that I feel almost a bit neglected. I know he's been busy working overseas but it seems like he hasn't really had time for me. He explained that he has a lot of things he has to accomplish while he's there but I can't help but miss him even more.

I feel like my hormones have been all out of wack for the past few days so that probably what's caused me to feel so needy, and with neediness that isn't taken care of comes insecurity. I kick my feet in frustration laying in the middle of our bed and pout for the zillionth time today. "I miss you" I say aloud hoping he might hear me. 

*buzz buzz*

My train of thought is interrupted by the sound of my phone vibrating on my nightstand next to me. I flip over to check who it might be and quickly answer without a second glance.

"Kook!" I say so happy but still feeling upset at the fact that he can't be here. "How's my girl doing?" he says with a calm tone but still smiling, happy to see me too. "I miss you" is all I can say not really wanting to say how sad I've been but he can probably tell by my body language.

"Aw baby I miss you too" he says setting the phone down on the table in his hotel room and taking a seat. "Have you eaten yet?" I ask seeing how worn down he looks. "No I skipped my meals today" he says owning up to his negligence.

"Baby! You can't be doing that!" I scold, upset that he hasn't been taking care of himself. "It's okay, we had a huge company dinner last night and I also had to go out to lunch with a few of our clients before that too so I've been eating plenty, don't worry" he says with a sluggish smile.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I question again still concerned for him. "I'm fine love, I promise, I'm just really tired from all the work that we've been doing here. Plus my boss said that if I finish up with all of the tasks that I've been assigned that I could probably come home a few days early" he smiles as he sees my eyes light up at the thought of him coming home.

"Really?" I question, so hopeful that that'll be the case. "Really really" he says admiring me as much as he's able to through the screen. "What time is it over there?" I ask too tired to check my clock app where I had saved the timezone he was in this time. "It's pretty late" he says simply, not giving a clear answer.

"Well shouldn't you be going to bed then?" I say now concerned that I might be keeping him up. "No no I'm okay, I wanna talk to my girl for a bit. I've been so busy lately that I haven't been able to call you these past few day" he says pouting at me. "I hope you know how much I think about you" he says playing with his fingers on the table, feeling shy at his sudden confession

"Baby..." I let out about to tell him the same but he continues. "You know that I'm doing all of this for you right? You're my number one priority, don't forget that" he says tilting his head and paying close attention to me again.

"Are you trying to make me cry over here?" I say laughing as I feel myself start to tear up at his sentiments. "No that wasn't my intention but you know I think you look so pretty when you cry, especially when you're laying under me and I-" "Jungkook" I say getting embarrassed by his sudden switch up.

He chuckles a bit at my reaction and continues "Sorry love I just wanted to make sure you weren't really gonna cry" he says smiling at me cheekily. "Anyways I have a surprise for you when I come home!" he says with a big bunny smile.

"A surprise? What kind? You know you don't have to get me something every time you go away right?" I say giggling at his clear excitement.

"Trust me you're gonna want this one" he continues scrunching up his nose. "Cryptic but okay" I say and laugh it off and changing the subject. 

"What have you guys been doing over there? Is everything running smoothly?" I question laying on my side and propping the phone up on the nightstand so I can lay down comfortably.

"Yeah everything is fine but I don't wanna talk about work right now, I wanna know how you're doing. What have you been up to?" he asks and grabs a mug of ice and starts to poor himself a Highball, no doubt in an effort to help him wind down.

I start telling him about the things I've been doing since the last time we spoke, I don't really get up to much except for the part time job I got not too long ago at a little boutique downtown. I insisted on getting it so I could have something to occupy my time even thought he didn't like it.

He has assured me time and time again that I don't need to work since he makes enough money for the both of us but I said I wanted to at least be able to take care of any personal expenses I may have like when I go out shopping on my own, it's the least I could do.

I'm not a gold digger and I don't intend on living off of my boyfriend even though he always tells me that he wishes I would rely on him more. 

"You really like that job don't you?" he smile sleepily. I nod my head "Yeah the ladies that work there are so nice and the customers are so sweet as well! It's nice to be able to get out of the house and be productive with my time" I say and snuggle under the covers even more.

"Well what about if we decide to have a baby? Would you still want to work there?" he asks out of the blue.

"I'm sorry what?" I say jolting up and fully facing my body towards the camera. "I'm just asking hypothetically if we had decided to have a baby one day would you still want to work or would you finally let me take care of you?" he clarifies.

We've talked about having children in the past but it's been a few years since that topic has been brought up. "You want to have a baby together still right?" he asks now sounding a bit insecure.

"Oh my gosh baby yes, yes of course I do! I'm sorry you just caught me off guard that's all" I say rushing to answer, not wanting him to feel like I don't want the same thing.

"Remember though marriage first then babies" I say and he laughs at my old fashioned ways. "I know I'm just checking, we haven't talked about that stuff in a while and it's been on my mind lately" he admits. 

"What made you suddenly start to think about it?" I question, curious to see where his head is at. "I don't know, I think I've just noticed a lot of young couples with kids lately and it reminded me how much I want that for us" he says starting to get a bit shy with the alcohol clearly taking it's toll on him.

"We would make some pretty cute babies huh?" I say going to lay back down. "Yeah we would" he says nodding in agreement, "I'm looking forward to the process of making one with you though more than anything" he says sporting a cheeky smile yet again. I give him a glare, clearly not amused with the taunting since we aren't able to act on it yet.

"Jeon Jungkook" I say in a warning tone, "Okay that's the last one I swear I won't tease you anymore" he says giggling clearly satisfied with my reaction. 

We continue on with our call for a few more minutes before Jungkook makes his way over to his bed and mirrors me once he finally lies down. We continue on mumbling sleepily to each other before he decides we should call it a night and we end the call after a few 'I love yous' and 'sweet dreams'.

Jungkook gets up to check on the surprise one more time and crouches down on the floor to unzip his carry on bag and dig for the little box sitting at the bottom of it.

Opening it he sees the gorgeous engagement ring he had ordered for you months ago and ended up being one of the many tasks he had to carry out over seas. It worked out in his favor that his business trip ended up being in the same city that he had to go to to pick up the ring. 

"Please say yes" he pleads to himself, desperate to hear your answer, but in his heart he knows that you want nothing more than to spend the rest of your life together. 

Wanna see the proposal? Read Thinking about Us <3

Mini Taglist @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality

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#jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #bts jungkook #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop

[odditycircus-2002]

Mortal Kombat 1 Intros Part III

THE VOTES HAVE SPOKEN! I hope y’all enjoy this, and don’t forget to like, reblog, and or comment! I do love hearing y’all’s thoughts and suggestions! 😁😁😁Featuring Medusa!Reader. If you want to see the others, click one of these

Batch1

Batch2

Quan-Chi

Quan-chi patronizing: It must enrage you that you couldn't have finished me.

Y/N hissing: If it weren't for Li Mei's jussstice, I would've had your ssspine by now!

/

Quan-chi disgusted: Why do you pine for a diseased cretin over Shang Tsung?

Y/N: Because that sssnake is below my standards, now.

/

Quan-Chi: You were Shang Tsung's wife, yet Lui Kang has gifted you a better life than either Shang and I!

Y/N: Everything I have earned in life, I have earned by my handssss and my hands alone.

/

Y/N coyly: I have to thank you for adding some spice to my meal.

Quan-Chi taken aback: That poison I slipped into your stew was enough to kill a full-grown taigore!

/

Y/N: Tch, what's good is relying heavily on your magic if a single gaze is enough to stop you in place?

Quan-chi smirks: It's fortunate then that I know how to avoid your gaze then.

/

Y/N narrows her eyes: It's bad enough that Shang Tsung knows its secrets!

Quan-Chi: Whether or not you do so willingly, I will learn witch.

/

Quan-chi: I hope your infatuation with Y/N won't put a wench in our partnership

Shang Tsung chuckles: Are we feeling a touch envious, Quan-chi?

Reiko

Y/N: I remember bandaging the bloodied boy Shao took into camp.

Reiko: I am not that boy no longer, Healer! /

Y/N: You're fortunate it was Li Mei who apprehended you, otherwise there'd be nothing to throw in Lei Chin.

Reiko: *Barks out a laugh* HA! I just need to blind you to beat you!

/

Y/N: You are no warrior but a mindlesssss blood-hungry brute, I would know.

Reiko scoffs: As if a Healer would know anything about what a true warrior is.

/

Y/N smirking: It's a shame that I couldn't have kept you in the Hanging Gardens.

Reiko growling: Care to try so again, witch?!

/

Reiko: You have forgotten your oath to Outworld!

Y/N: How is not wanting to see the Empire fall to the disease that is war, breaking my Healer's oath?

/

Reiko: The lieutenants' illness... *growls* Have you no honor?!

Y/N darkly: Not towards traitorsss of the throne.

/

Reiko: It's a shame that we could not have recruited you to the cause.

Y/N with her snakes writhing in anger: *Hisses* As if I would align myself with the brutes that would encourage Sssshang Tsung's depravity!

Tanya

Tanya: You have truly chosen better than that traitorous Sorcerer.

Y/N sighs in exasperation: I'll have to talk with Mileena about spreading rumors about my love life.

/

Tanya: You have a sister among the Umgadi?

Y/N rolls her eyes: I only know this since my mother would never ssshut up about it.

/

Tanya astonished: Shang Tsung did what to you?!

Y/N hisses at the memory: It's because I got too close to learning of hisss real laboratory.

/

Y/N: I hope you aren't the reason why Mileena missed her mandatory meditative practices today.

Tanya: I was told by her that you canceled them for the day!

/

Y/N: It is difficult, to love someone afflicted with Tarkat and watch them suffer.

Tanya: If Mileena and I can overcome these obstacles despite the risks, so can you and Baraka.

/

Y/N: I am happy to report that most of your Umgadi sisters will make a full recovery.

Tanya: It's still regrettable to lose any of my sisters, but I am happy to hear that.

/

Y/N: Did you really think I would betray the Throne?

Tanya: Honestly, there was so much deceit and conspiracies going around, I wasn't sure.

Ermac

Ermac: Neither Jerrod nor Sindel hold you at fault for their deaths.

Y/N in surprise: I- Uh um... Thank you, Ermac.

/

Ermac: Can you aid us?

Y/N: I haven't learned the same magic as Quan-chi, but I has picked up a spell or two on Shang Tsung's island.

/

Ermac: We apologize, but the answer is still no.

Y/N angrily: You're the one who freed Quan-chi in the firssst place! The least you can do is return to the palace!

/

Y/N: Why not inform Mileena instead of freeing Quan-chi?!

Ermac: We were not sure she could have ensured our continued existence

/

Y/N: If you wish to reside in the Colony, then I'll need some assurance that you won't kill my patients.

Ermac: We understand, but you just have to trust our word.

/

Y/N narrowed her eyes in suspicion: I was told by Ashrah, you nearly killed Baraka and Syzoth.

Ermac: That is not Us anymore, Y/N.

/

Y/N: How is the Collection today, Ermac?

Ermac: Thanks to your remedies, We feel more... stable.

Nitara

Nitara mockingly: Having seen your Titan self, I wonder what it says about you?

Y/N hisses: I am nothing like her!

/

Nitara: Your blood tastes like a Vaeterunian's!

Y/N angrily: Of course, Shang Tsung would think to make me monstrousss just to ssspite me!

/

Nitara: My blood magic is superior to your water magic.

Y/N: It'll do you no good once I have you choking on your own blood.

/

Y/N: Care for another demonstration on whose bite is deadlier?

Nitara: You have to actually catch me to bite me.

/

Y/N: Not till death will I ever stop fighting for my home!

Nitara: Why do you think I fight for Vaeterunus?!

/

Y/N: Even just hearing your voice sends disgussst down my spine

Nitara: The disgust is mutual even with your mask on.

/

Y/N snakes out and ready to bite: The fact that you aided that sssnake!

Nitara: A mistake and waste of time, I'll admit.

Peacemaker

Peacemaker: So how do you and that Baraka guy bump uglies? Considering how you're both-

Y/N vexated and flustered: That is NONE of your concern!

/

Peacemaker: The bleeding is mostly internal which is where most of the blood is supposed to be anyway, right?

Y/N internally screaming: That is NOT at all how it worksss!!!

/

Peacemaker: What the FUCK happened to your face?!

Y/N: A sssnake named, Shang Tsung. That's what.

/

Y/N: While I might not always agree with her, I trust Li Mei's judgment.

Peacemaker: Yet, it would've been easier if she just killed those wizard fucks!

/

Y/N: Those herbs you gave me are pretty weak.

Peacemaker: How? I gave ya the best kush I got!

/

Y/N: I can heal much of the body, but an addled mind isn't one of them

Peacemaker: If you think I'M insane, you should see the crazies in Arkham!

/

Y/N: How in the 10 hells are you still breathing?!?

Peacemaker: I honestly have no fucking clue.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk x reader #mortal kombat 1 #Ermac #mk reiko #Quan-chi #Peacemaker #Nitara #Tanya #tanya mk #Oddball writes #mk #mk 1 #mk1 2023 #Mortal Kombat intros #mk intros

[sweetiesicheng]

mark - sick

word count : 571

-

"hey y/n? can you make some soup?" mark asked while waddling out of the room with a blanket over his shoulders.

"i already am," you responded while standing at the stovetop. "go lay down in the room. it'll be done in few more minutes."

"it's cold in there," he said. you looked over and saw him lay down on the couch, grabbing another blanket to cover himself with.

you continued cooking and prepared some bowls with rice. then, you grabbed a spoon and tasted the soup, "okay! all done!" you announced and turned the stove off. you brought over the pot and set it on top of a stack of magazines that sat on the table in the living room.

you looked at mark and saw him with his eyes closed. you crouched down and brushed his hair with your hand.

"hey, you need to eat. you didn't eat much this morning," you said to him. mark opened his eyes and nodded his head before sitting up, moving the blankets off of him.

you went back to the kitchen and grabbed empty bowls and the bowls of rice along with some utensils. you returned to the living room and put everything on the table.

"would you like me to feed you?" you asked him.

mark chuckled, "nah, i can feed myself."

"okay," you put some soup into the empty bowls. mark started eating and you noticed him smile. "what?" you asked.

"it's really good," he said and drank some more soup. "thank you."

"of course," you replied. "oh, let me get you some water." you said and went back into the kitchen. you opened the door to the pantry and grabbed a bottle of water. you returned to the living room and handed the bottle to mark.

"thanks," mark said and opened the bottle. "you should sit and eat. you haven't taken a break yet."

"i'm just taking care of you, babe. this is nothing," you said to him.

"but you should take a break. i don't want you to get sick from overworking," he said to you and drank some water. "sit down and eat with me," he suddenly pouted.

you smiled and sat down in the floor. you poured some soup for yourself and started eating with him.

"today's a good day," mark mentioned, "well, minus me being sick."

"at least you didn't have to go to practice, or else you would've been there for hours," you responded.

he nodded, "yea, probably." he finished up the last bit of soup. "i’m gonna lay down again," he said and stood up, grabbing both of the blankets.

"go take another nap, i’ll wake you up when you need to take more medicine. i'll grab an extra blanket for you from upstairs too," you said to him.

"okay, but you better not overwork yourself," he said to you.

"look, i'm sitting and eating like you told me to do. now listen to me and go take a nap," you said to him. both of you started at each other before laughing at each other.

"alright, sleep time," he said and walked into the bedroom. you heard the bed springs squeak and peaked over to see him laying on the bed. you turned forward and grabbed the tv remote from the table. starting to watch a show, you turned the volume down and continued to eat before starting a few more chores.

#sweetiesicheng #sweetiesicheng nct #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #lee mark #mark lee #mark #mark x y/n #mark x reader #mark x you #mark fanfic #nct 127 mark #nct 127 mark lee #nct mark #nct mark lee #nct x y/n #nct x reader #nct x fanfic #nct x you #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct dream mark #nct dream x y/n #nct dream x you #nct dream x reader #nct dream istj #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x you

[toomuchracket]

mads how do you think d word matty would react to girlie passing out (pre pregnancy) like in the hot weather at one of their festivals in 2023🥺

oh he'd freak out. i think it happens after their set, but you've been running around trying to organise shit and liaise with the right people so much all day that you haven't really taken the time to stay hydrated and eat something to keep your energy levels up. and the side of the stage, where you stand (there aren't seats) and watch your boyfriend do his thing, is small and draped in black and filled with electrical equipment and people, and by the time the boys come offstage you're feeling... not great, to say the least. matty notices you seem a little bit off when he comes over to hug you, and you wave away his concerns with a "just too hot, is all"; not even five seconds later, when you all go to quickly head to the dressing rooms and cool off, you go to walk and your legs just give out. matty gasps and tries to grab you, but it's george standing behind you who catches you before you hit the deck - he carries you to the green room and settles you on the sofa, because matty's too busy panicking to be able to safely hold you. he's holding your hand like "sweetheart, wake up, please, come on, i need to know you're ok", getting progressively more teary; hann puts his arm around him and reassures him that "she'll be alright, it's just the heat, she just needs to lie down and have some water". and you come to quite quickly, within a few minutes of passing out, lying on the sofa with matty sat on the floor by your head and everyone else kinda dotted around the room looking concerned - when you clock them, you groan, and the first words you say are "fuck me this is so embarrassing". ross half-laughs and says "oh, she's fine", but matty's like "stop it, darling, you had us worried sick! you alright? what happened?", and you're like "too hot. haven't had enough water. moved too fast". the water thing is quickly remedied, and once everyone is satisfied you're ok they leave you and matty be - he strokes your hair and says "that was terrifying. got scared you wouldn't wake up, honestly. i know that's dramatic, but... it was awful, seeing you faint like that. never letting go of you again - if you fall, i fall too", and you laugh and say "yeah, just didn't take enough care of myself today i guess. but i'm ok. thank you for caring about me. i love you", and matty kisses your nose like "i love you too. gonna take care of you, always, i promise. and make sure you take care of yourself. need to protect my girl" <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #d word matty

[chaosheadspace]

second chance dreamling 👀

Okay, so @beholdme infected me with the idea of Dreamling and a second chance relationship after having spectacularly fucked up their first try (maybe even their marriage, who knows). I really like thinking about it. The hurt. The care. What could have happened? What would both of them need to say "yeah okay, I wanna try this again? I also blame "Someday out of the blue" by Elton John.

Snip:

Hob is standing in the staff kitchen with his back to the door when he hears his colleague Julie chirp up, “Oh hello, I haven't seen you here before.”

Hob smiles. Julie is a good friend, and very competent in Spanish lit, but she's hopelessly clumsy in all things romantic (or even just flirty). And, sure enough—”I could stand to see you more often, though. Mind if I give you my number?”

Hob easily hides his snort with the sound of the coffee machine hacking up its probably last batch. It's been here as long as he has, and even back then it had been old. He'll miss it.

Hob sighs. He's been approaching fifty on paper, which is the furthest he can stretch his eternally set face. He's been putting grey in his hair and beard, and starts his day with a subtle makeup routine. One more year. He's already arranged to go to Australia for his next life, see a bit of the world. He needs some distance. Has needed some distance for the past twenty years, really, but back then he found he couldn't just pack it all up and chuck it away. Maybe he's been grieving. But it was time.

He's shaken out of his thoughts rather violently by the reply of the mystery person though.

“Julia Andrews, it would probably be advisable that you turn your misguided attention to the tea running over your wrist rather than myself.”

The deep rumble shakes Hob to his core, and he turns, hastily. He didn't think he'd hear this voice in the next three thousand years, at least. He faintly registers that Julie yelps, and then swears.

And sure enough, there, in the door of the kitchen he stands, like a photocopy out of Hob's memory, like a mirage, like a fever dream.

They haven't seen each other in twenty years. Twenty years since Hob has burned the brightest he's ever had, so sure he'd be consumed but instead of burning down they'd filled galaxies with new stars. Until, at last, it went to shit.

Hob looks, because he can't not, looks and looks at alabaster skin, at blue eyes, at feathery hair that he knows for a fact is as soft as a cloud, at a buttoned up coat that he's taken off of him countless times, at thin, pink lips he's kissed even more times. No. *NO*.

“Hello,” he says, carefully avoiding a name or any descriptor of their relationship. “I hope you're well.”

“Robert,” Dream says, curt and cold. Only *Robert*, not his supposed last name for this century, so Hob could mistake it for the courtesy of keeping his cover. Not Hob, as a friend would call him. *Robert*. The most distance Dream can put between them with outsiders present.

“There is something that slipped my mind, yet is of utmost importance,” he continues with the regality of a king, cold, so cold. Hob knows for a fact that there's warmth in him, and softness, deep down. But not for him, not anymore. “At the disagreement before our last recent one, I left something. It is vital that it is returned to me.”

Hob's stomach swoops. Dream's hat and gloves, left in haste and fury in 1889. The only tangible things Hob has ever had from Dream, still shiny and new as they had been then, still smelling of rosewater and rain and salt. Hob swallows.

“Of course,” he says, swallowing down a “my lord”, because Dream would definitely take it as mockery. “Of course.”

Hob takes a deep breath, fortifying himself. “As I'm sure you're aware, I'm not carrying them around, so you would have to come back later tonight. I'm home at about half past five, today.”

There's the little crease on his forehead, the displeased slant of his mouth. “I thought it possible that I might—”

“That you can just go into my flat and take them? No.” Hob interrupts. He's been working on this. With multiple therapists. *Boundaries*. He needs more boundaries. And even after twenty years of work, he's tempted into flinging it all out the window for him. Bugger. “I'm afraid you will have to wait.”

Dream sighs, put-upon and haughty. “Very well. I shall be at your door at half past five.” He turns and walks away without any kind of goodbye. Hob exhales through gritted teeth. He's fine. He's *fine*. He's lived with this kind of longing for literal centuries. Why can't he just let it go?

*Because you've had it, once,* his mind whispers, *because you're not sure that you're really done. Not sure you've really let go. Because you're not able—*

“Woof,” Julie comments, making Hob startle. “Bad past? Hey, I'm sorry for—”

“Don't worry,” Hob interrupts her, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It's long past and gone. Don't really know why he's turned up now.”

“Well, if you ask me, there's regret pouring out of every perfect pore of him,” she retorts. “Not that I'm—um—”

Hob laughs, self-deprecating, hurt twisting through his guts. “Can't be. Believe me. Not him.”

Julie shrugs and takes her mug. “Have it your way. I'm gonna go and bash some Spanish into the minds of twenty seven unwilling undergrads.”

“Good luck,” Hob calls after her, his mind spinning with the same questions—why now? And why at all?

#Tag game #Chaosheadspace's writing #Dreamling #Wip

[chaotic-on-main]

So glad you reblogged this because I did not see your post about this event before. And I almost missed it! 😱 But now I'm here… hi, Sky! Congrats on your milestone, dear! ❤️

I would be interested in one matcha green tea ice cream with cookie crumbles on top. If it's okay, could it be something like Levi comforting the reader while they're anxious and stressed? Something with nice calming domestic vibes maybe?

Order up!! One matcha green tea with cookie crumbles for Rose!!

Sky's Summer Fall and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairing ➼ Levi Ackerman x cisfem!Reader

☾ Content/Warning ➼ modernAU, pregnancy, anxiety, established relationship, pregnancy reveal

☾ A/N ➼ hi rose!! again, sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. this wasn't the initial path i had planned, but i think it went better than expected!! also i know i said i wouldn't write a pregnant reader, but i was inspired and i love the idea of dadvi even though i don't see myself wanting kids. there's something to unexpectedly soft about dad levi, and i love to imagine it. i mean, he's already so dad coded considering how many kids he adopts lol. also for anyone seeing this, the rest of my requests are no longer summer themed LMAO. i'm gonna have to do something simple for my next event a;lsdkfjalj

☾ Word Count ➼ ~1.9k

The pattering of raindrops on window panes is a sound that brings comfort to you, doubly so during this time of year. Orange and red leaves lie dormant on the wet pavement only to be run over by various cars going home for the evening. With the end of the year holidays looming around the corner, excitement fills the air. But not for you. Instead, it's overwhelming anxiety, and the rain does not bring the comfort you seek.

You're so in your head that you don't hear the keys in the door and the light footsteps of your husband coming home from work. As you toss some chocolate chips into the red bowl full of light brown dough, your mind bounces from one thought to another. Some thoughts hurt worse than others and you find yourself almost choking up until you force yourself to think of something else.

Long, cold fingers wrap around your wrist as you go to pick up a silicone spatula, holding your arm up midair. You're so startled at the sudden touch that you drop it straight into the bowl – thank god it was mixed enough to not splatter. When your eyes snap to the source, the automatic relief that normally comes with seeing those beautiful gray eyes doesn't wash over you. You’ve underestimated the anxiety that courses through your veins like ice.

“What's wrong?” Your husband's low voice comes out careful.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about right now. Welcome home!” You force out, your lips pulling back on your teeth in a reassuring smile. Levi Ackerman has known you for far too long, and he wasn't stupid. His eyes scan the messy kitchen counters with furrowed brows.

“I count at least 4 mixing bowls, most half filled and only a few finished products. Either you've signed up for a bake sale, or something is wrong. You only get like this when something is bothering you.” Levi's eyes go back to yours.

“I- uh. It's nothing, really.” You check the clock on the stove and gasp. “I didn't realize the time, and I haven't even started on dinner yet. I'm so sorry.” You quickly push aside your mess to make room for some space.

“Go sit down.” Levi says as he puts his keys and phone in the little wicker basket that sits on the far end of the counter.

“No, it's okay! I can do this.” You don't even know what to make for dinner. You've been in a downward spiral all day and haven't thought that far ahead. The sound of glass bottles rattle as you open the fridge doors to peek at your options - only to find them extremely limited. You should have gone to the grocery store earlier today.

The fridge closes in front of you as Levi pushes his way in front of you. Suddenly his hands are cupping your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks in a way he knows is comforting to you. You just now notice his hair slicked back, stuck in place from the rain outside. Black eyebrows scrunch together in concern as he stares at you.

“Levi, I don't need help. I can do this myself.” You mutter.

“Go sit down.” He repeats, softer this time. You stare back, trying to find the energy to argue. But you have none, so you make your way over to the plush navy couch in the living room. In a means to help comfort you, you pull your knees to your chest and stare out the window. Night time has made its way home, the yellow streetlights hazily glowing through the cold rain. It takes everything within you to focus on what you see and hear, and not what races through your mind.

Either you dozed off or fell into a trance because before you know it, Levi comes over and taps your shoulder. You blink a few times as your eyes adjust to what he's holding out to you – a bowl and a glass of water.

“I bet you haven't hydrated once today, have you?” He raises a brow.

“I've been busy?” You give him a small smile, but take the glass anyway. He sets the bowl down in front of you on the coffee table. You didn't even need to see it to know what it was as the smell of it wafts from the kitchen to your nose. Spaghetti, and Levi's spaghetti at that. Well, technically Kuchel’s - Levi's mom – recipe. From the moment he had made it for you when you both first started dating, you knew this was the best recipe you have or will ever taste.

Not only was it delicious, though, it was comforting. It was home.

“Oh, Levi.” You sigh as you reach over to place your glass down so you can pick up the warm bowl in two hands. The smell of herbs and tomatoes dance in your nostrils as you breathe in deeply. You don't hesitate to poke your fork into the red pasta and slurp up the saucy noodles.

The sofa shifts as Levi sits next to you, leg crossed as he leans back with his own bowl in hand. He doesn't say anything as he digs in, eyes looking out to the darkened window. It stays silent save for the quiet smacking and the metal clinking on porcelain. For a while, you're distracted yet again as you fill your tummy but eventually your bowl is empty and the dread starts creeping back in.

“Did you want more or…?” Levi breaks you out of your thoughts and your eyes focus back to what you were looking at – the red-streaked bottom of the bowl.

“Oh, no I'm good. Thank you for making dinner. I'm sorry I couldn't have it done by the time you got home.” You smile softly at him as you hand him your bowl. His lips twitch as he regards you. He takes the bowl from you and you think he's about to get up but instead, he sets it on the coffee table and shifts so that he's facing you fully.

“There's nothing to apologize for, dummy. What's going on in that head of yours?” He reaches over and taps your forehead gently with a forefinger.

“I don't know if this is the right time.” You whisper, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“I'm home for the night, we have plenty of time before bed.” His hand trails down your face and cups your jaw as he holds your gaze. “What's going on?”

Reaching up, you rest your hand over his and lean into his touch. Then with a shuddering breath, you gently pry his hand off and stand up. Without another word, you make your way to the master bathroom and retrieve what you're looking for. Before exiting, you bend over the sink to take a few deep breaths. You just need to rip this off like a bandaid, you keep repeating to yourself.

Making your way down the hallway back to the living room, your fingers shake. The room grows silent as you hold the little white stick up to eye level the moment you step in front of your extremely confused husband.

Levi has to squint to see the little pink plus sign. There's a range of emotions that flood his face past the initial shock. You know when the realization hits him because his wide eyes flit over to yours as he checks to see if you're kidding. You only nod your head back. There's a moment of excitement that lights up in his eyes before the same look of anxiety that no doubt mirrors your own stares back at you.

Your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach at that.

“I-" Levi chokes on his words.

“It's real.”

You hear Levi inhale loudly as he runs his fingers through his hair and step back as he processes. You’ve been with Levi for so long but even you didn't know how he would react. Children weren't off the table, but you both had agreed to start a family when the time was right. To you, this was the worst possible time with Levi starting a new job and your writing career finally taking off. His reaction is enough to confirm those thoughts. Or, at least that’s what you thought.

“I know this is awful timing. And I’m sure we're not ready. I'm so-" Your last words are cut short into a squeak as a pair of strong arms pull you into a warm chest, the sudden movement causing the pregnancy test to fall and bounce onto the rug. You can feel Levi's heart beating a mile a minute against your own.

“Don't apologize.”

“But you’re not excited.” You’ve started crying and you can feel your tears seeping into Levi's shirt. He pushes you away from him and holds you there. His dark eyes bounce between yours as he regards you.

“Who said I wasn't?"

“I- just your face-"

“I won't pretend to say I'm not nervous. You know, Kenny was the only father figure I had and he wasn't around, not when it mattered, at least. I'm scared, actually.” His eyebrows furrow to match the concern that laces his tone.

“Levi-"

“But this is exciting, and I'm thrilled. And we'll navigate through this like we always do. But, how do you feel about it?”

“Well, I guess I'm scared too. Anxious. Our jobs are just taking off, and while I'm excited for a family with you, I'm just not sure how to take this.” You pull a hand up to wipe away the salty tears that streams down your face.

“We have 9 months, give or take. That's plenty of time for us to figure things out. But is this what you want?” Levi let's go of your arms to cup your face again. That moment of hesitance that graced his features is no longer there, only replaced by love.

“Do you think we'll be ready by then?”

“Who knows. But we can try. We'll figure it out together.” Levi pulls you back in and holds you in his tight embrace. You bury your face in his shirt, once again letting it soak up any leftover tears.

“If it's any consolation, I think you'll be a great dad. I watch the way you interact with your little cousin during get-togethers.”

“Tch. If our child is anything like Mikasa, I'm sure we'll be fine. But if they're like her friend Eren, we're starting over.” You laugh at that and slap his chest playfully.

“Levi, you can't say shit like that.”

“I'm just kidding. Mostly. That Eren kid has something wrong with him, I swear.”

You hold on to him in silence for a bit, taking note of the slowing heart beat between the two of you as the news finally sinks in. You were going to be a mom. You were going to be a parent with Levi.

“Someone needs to eat this. This is way too much for just the two of us.” You hear Levi chuckle. You can't see it, but you know he's staring at the mess you've made all day. You'll be up until 3am making sure everything gets baked so it doesn't go to waste.

“Three of us.” You lean back to look at your husband, smiling at that comment.

“You're right, the three of us.” You feel as Levi gently rests the palm of his hand on your stomach and leans down to kiss you softly. Your anxiety still lingers, but now it's tinged with relief because no matter what life throws at you, Levi is here.

tagging: @humanitys-strongest-bamf @romantichomicide95 @youre-ackermine @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @levis-squishy-cheeks @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @elnyrae @secretmoneybearvoid @apolloshaiku @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @missyasma @kingkonoha @sckerman @notgoodforlife @nube55 @svftackerman @velouria17 @melodyuzumaki

if you're not a part of my taglist but would like to be (or take off lol), please fill out the taglist on my pinned post!

#attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #x reader #levi x reader #cw pregnancy #sky's summer event #modern au

[crabonfire]

heya! could u do scout (or all the mercs if you can) x gyaru!reader hcs :o? like everyone suspects [merc] to have a badass s/o cuz their also so badass but in reality their all glammed up and lookin like their goin to a beach party 😭 thanks! and if you don’t want to do the req/can’t do it no problem! ^_^

Scout's Gyaru! Partner!!

character: scout (mercs are barely involved)

note: this cute asf I had to do it lol 😭

The other mercs are involved a bit

I made the S/O super cheery and a little aggresive but that's just cause idk I think its funny LOL

Gender ain't specified but they act more femininely!! love me feminine ppl 😚

warnings: none

♡Scout♡

• Ever since Scout started to date you, from the way he described you as "Cool, confident and badass" they expected somebody who actually fit the description.

• The men didn't care about it at first. He'd babble on about you randomly in conversation, and automatically, they'd groan and try to change the topic.

• And from the way he'd always do what you told him when you two called over the phone, they assumed you were somebody stricter than he was.

• So they were a little shocked to find somebody with dashing makeup, long painted acrylics with the most glamorous, pastel colored outfit they've ever seen. Your hair was dyed brightly in certain areas, you carried a purse embedded with pearls and cute pins...you were the OPPOSITE of what they were thinking of.

"Oh! Are you Engineer? Jeremy's told me all about you!"

"...Yes-"

"About Jeremy, have you seen him? He was supposed to come with me to a party but he totally ditched on me and he won't answer my calls. The asshole he is."

"Well-"

"OH! I haven't introduced myself, I'm [S/O]! Sorry, that was really rude of me."

He paused, cracking up an awkward smile.

"I could tell."

"Haha, yeah, anyway, have you seen him? He's such a dick for leaving me like that."

"He's in the training grounds with the others, I'll take you there, sweetheart."

"Aw, you're so nice. Thanks!"

He smirked, walking you over the base. How did you find the base? He doesn't know. Does he want to see Scout get yelled at? Yea.

♡♡♡

• "Jeremy what the hell?! You left me out there alone you dick. So fuckin' rude, and you didn't answer my calls..."

"OW- I TOLD YOU IM SORRY-" He winces, rubbing over the area you hit his head at. "I was busy..."

"Busy with what? Being a little bitch?"

• The mercs who watched from afar snickered, he gave you a frown and you retorted your insult.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it babe."

"Yeah yeah, and I'm sorry for not telling you anything. I was busy, and I left my phone in my room."

"Okayyyy, I won't yell at you anymore. I came to ask if you wanted to go to the beach this week? I got this super cute beach set and like, we could take cute pics together. It'd be sooo fun!"

"Hell yeah, people will see my muscles and stuff."

• You chuckled, "Yeah! Your strong muscles, and we'll both look so cute together."

He smiled at that, then he looked you up and down.

"I never got a good look of you, but damn...you look real cute today." He muttered, "Are these new?" He said as took your hand in his, admiring the colored nails with their cute accessories.

You grinned brightly, "Yeah! I'm so glad you noticed." He felt himself melt, "They're nice. I like the colors."

• He was always so enamored by you. You were so energetic, so confident...you always wore whatever you wanted and did whatever you wanted because you never cared, and best of all you had the cutest fashion sense.

"I like how you did your make up today."

"Your hairs nice. It must've taken a while, yea?"

He started to comment on your outfit, telling you how cute you looked, making you chuckle and blush at his corny remarks. You two went quiet, and honestly, it was a new sight for these mercenaries.

• They'd never seen him so quiet, so enchanted by somebody before. Where he actually stops talking for once, and just looks at you with such love.

They almost don't believe it, Scout...BEING ROMANTIC? ain't no way.

"Wow, He's actually shutting up?" Medic says, "Pinch me, I'm dreaming." Sniper replied, making everybody crack a smile. They kept watching as you leaned down to give him a kiss, pulling back with the softest gaze they've ever seen on anybody.

"HEY! NO ROMANCE ON THE BATTLEFIELD!" Soldier screamed, making them both flinch and turn to their direction. "HEY HEY, WHERES THE PRIVACY AT? Fuckin perverts." He stands up from his bench, walking over with you outside as you chuckle in reply. He sticks his tounge out at them mockingly, as if saying "Your just jealous" before he does.

• Spy rolls his eyes, but there's a slight smile on his face. His son has found somebody good, somebody he can be happy with, even though they weren't somebody he expected. He's happy for him.

♡♡♡

I would've added more merc content for this but I liked how I wrote scout,, he loves ur fashion sense babe omggg

Honestly i miss writing scout, he's a big reason I'm really into tf2 in general haha.

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 scout x reader #scout tf2 x reader #scout tf2 #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 demoman #tf2 demo #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 engie #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 8

Decided to start titling these with the episode but dear god now I have to go back and fix them and apparently I am not consistent with my tagging (shocker), so probably that won't happen. We'll just move forward.

Last week Sand pissed me off, Ray managed to get what he wanted while still kinda looking like a loser (and making Boston either a prophet or just someone who knows Ray way too fucking well), and Mew won the ep by being impressively unhinged in his revenge and making the supremely dumb (and messy) choice to date Ray. I enjoyed the visuals but also couldn't stop laughing because you know Book was bending his knees so he could do the forehead touching and neck nuzzling with Khaotung. It must have looked so awkward.

ANYwho, let's get to it, shall we?

Disclaimer because I'm gonna need it this time: these are my opinions only and do not necessarily reflect what the show is trying to do or the characters' actual motivations. While I try to take a step back as much as possible while doing these my biases and personal experiences are still going to come into play and today I'm more frustrated than usual.

You've been warned.

Characters (Fave to Least Fave atm)

Sand. Look, I was terrified about what he would be doing this episode last week. I worked myself into a whole lather about it. But he was awesome here. He set clear boundaries and stuck to them, he rebuffed Ray at every turn. He tried to move on with his Freddie Mercury soul twin. Or at least hook up which I would love for him, everyone else gets to at least kiss someone else why hasn't Sand, huh? WHY HAVEN'T YOU LET SAND KISS ANYONE BUT RAY, SHOW THIS IS WORKING MY NERVES PLEASE TAKE HIM OUT OF COLD STORAGE. *ahem*. Frankly he exceeded my expectations.

So I want to know what all the people dragging him for not doing enough fucking want. Do you want him to hit Ray over the head with his guitar (me too but we all know he hasn't been pushed that far yet)? Leave the country? Change schools? What?

He's trying. This whole episode was him trying to let Ray and whatever hopes he may have harbored about him go with as much dignity as he could - yes he was softer about it than I would have been, but Sand's just like that. He is taking responsibility for his own damn feelings the way he always does and he's trying to deal with them alone, away from Ray, without causing fuss. Ray's the one hounding the shit out of him right now. If it's about him running to help him with the cops, well, I sort of get it but not really - Sand would have done that for anyone he cares about, and he knows damn good and well if Ray's caught with coke after he just got into trouble for drinking and driving his dad might not even be able to get him out of it. He'd have done the same for Nick guys (not that he'd have to but my point stands). You can't just turn caring off because the person you care about sucks. And he could have stayed and babied him and he chose to leave and baby Nick instead, and to me that feels important.

Although it might be about the preview, which okay, fair. And if it is I can't throw stones because the preview for this ep had me incandescent with rage last week.

Beyond all that, though, I just want to know: has anyone ever taken care of this man? Because it feels like no. Every relationship in his life, form his mom to Ray to Nick, even to Yo in this ep, he winds up playing caretaker. The shoulder. The one people rely on. It bothers me that he seems to have no one to lean on in turn, and I doubt he's gonna get that at all in the run of this show.

Boston. I love Boston I will never stop. He didn't do a lot today but everything he did do was great. Pining over NIck but still shutting him down, genuinely listening to Atom, showing up to a party with all the friends who hate him right now and being like "yeah, my place too, suck it." Hands down my favorite conversation this ep was between him and Top - something about it felt so oddly playful. Well, you know, for Boston. It felt like whatever hang up he had with Top, it's gone now, which makes me think once again that it was less about him than Mew. Also he did this:

and it made me cackle.

He's gonna fuck Atom and piss Cheum off but Atom's a big boy so I'm not really that bothered by it. That said, it was funny to watch him hesitate for once. Like hm, this could go badly. And then Atom was like "so?" and that was that, lol. Oh, Boston.

Mew. Oh, Mew. I was so disappointed when I saw him doing lines with Ray. This is not the way I wanted you to spiral, babe. But I did call it. He wanted Ray to make him forget how he feels about Top, but Ray can't do that because Mew is about as into him as he is the wall. In fact he might be more into the wall, if possible. It was certainly a trip watching his face every time Ray got affectionate. And when Ray isn't working, what does he turn to next? Alcohol. Drugs. Anything to help him pretend he's moving on. "Habits (Stay High)" is Mew's song this episode.

But in the end it won't last, I firmly believe that. Mew will boomerang back to himself, maybe not as gullible as he calls it, maybe a little less uptight, but yeah. He's not going to keep wearing Ray's persona like his own little Halloween costume. He's got too good a foundation for that, has been too firmly rooted by the love of his parents and even his friends (yes, his friends, they might not be good for each other but all of them try to be good to him save perhaps Boston I said what I said).

Although we still have four eps so I doubt it'll happen soon.

Top. I just don't get the need to hate on this guy. It's getting super old. I think he's really trying - he clearly cares about Mew, and he's cared for a while, and he wants him to be happy even if it's not with him. Weird to me how when Ray said the same everyone bought into it, but when Top does it it's sus. Especially when Ray demonstrably couldn't even keep to that claim, lol.

But I digress. Maybe I'll have egg on my face in two episodes or whatever, but I feel for him. And I believe that he actually cares about Mew. You don't just stand there and take all the things that Top took from Mew this ep and then turn around and take care of someone when they're drunk and high and their new boyfriend is nowhere to be found to do the thing they promised they'd do better than anyone else. Maybe he'll do something beyond the pale in the next ep and that will be that, but right now he's putting his money where his mouth is in regards to Mew and I have to commend him for that. I am curious if he will continue doing so if Mew tells him to leave him be and means it - has he done that? Because as far as I can recall he has not, which is telling.

He was stand up this ep, but he does lose a few points for cuddling Mew while he was incapacitated. Because Mew would definitely not want that were he awake and sober (or well he would but he would still say no and that's the point).

Popular theory is that he called the cops. If he did, I basically say *shrug*

The Lesbians. Yes they are an entity leave me be. I am not one who thinks that Cheum was entirely wrong, although I do think that there's a time and place and maybe while someone is being pinned down by the cops isn't it. She is wrong that Ray is dragging Mew down with him. Ray isn't doing that, Mew is happily sliding all on his own. Well, not so happily but the choice is still his. Ray is enabling it, yes, but of course he is. One, it's Mew. Ray has no idea how to tell Mew no. Two, Ray does all these things himself. Of course he's gonna be okay with Mew doing them too, because not only does it reinforce his own shitty habits, it give him one less person telling him they're shitty. I agree with fandom that Cheum is not Ray's friend, not really. But Ray isn't hers either. Both of them care about Mew. The end.

April though was the real MVP of the two of them. Woman speaks sense, both about Mew and about the situation with Ray. I think probably because the only person she really cares about here is Cheum, so it's easier for her to step back and see the others from a more neutral place.

Nick. Still out here trying to earn the gold in the simp category of the messy Olympics. The brass balls he had to go up to Boston like he did, though. Like. Okay. I still think you're insane but I can respect that. HIs hurt face when Boston shut him down didn't get to me this ep, but his Halloween costume was cute.

Daddy Dan is gonna be a problem. I can't wait. Every time that man smiles I'm like danger, will robinson, and yet I'm so ready for Nick to walk right into that thinking that he's moving on and finding that he stepped into something he can't handle.

Ray. This happy motherfucker.

Where do I even start with this one. He has Mew just like he always wanted and he can't even give it fifteen minutes before he's bugging Sand. Like dude. Come on. Give the poor guy a break please. But of course Ray won't - all he's thinking is that he can have Mew for boyfriend and Sand to make him feel better about himself. It's...frustrating to watch.

But also he was so pathetic everywhere this ep that I don't think I've ever liked him more. He's such a loser, I'm sorry but not really. Like it cracks me up that Sand gets shit on for wanting him and Nick gets shit on for wanting Boston but I'm supposed to feel bad for this dude? Nah. At least Sand and Nick haven't stopped quite so low as to be the willing rebound for a dude that clearly doesn't want them yet (I mean, Nick so would. Sand...not so much. More on this later).

Relationships (Fave to Least Fave atm)

TopMew. I actually think these two might be able to make it work. They're the only couple I think this about now.

They love each other guys. Sorry but it's true. Maybe Mew won't be able to get over the Boston of it all, and if he can't he can't. But he wouldn't be spiraling this hard if he didn't still love Top - he certainly wouldn't have looked at him the way he did in the hostel kitchen with his defenses down, high and miserable and sick and hurting so badly and still in love despite his best efforts. And he wouldn't need to hurt him so damn badly, either. And Top loves him back.

Now all the masks are off. Whether or not they work together that way remains to be seen.

YoPlug. Look you leave Yo alone Jojo I am not kidding. I know you were being all clever and showing Sand his closed off future (which again, wouldn't be happening if people didn't hurt him, Ray), but I'm not having her crying on my screen. You stop that.

That said, as short as it was the breakdown of the relationship felt too real. Sometimes loneliness becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, but what are you supposed to do when every time you put your heart out it comes back a little less whole?

Nick and Sand. Can they please make out. So far Sand is the only one of these six dudes who hasn't so much as kissed anyone other than his OG pair (I'm counting the preview to slide Nick in here, sue me), and I for one am sick of it. You better pay me back for this insult with Sand getting his mouth (and hands) all over everyone soon. Starting with this guy.

Even if they don't kiss on the mouth (RUDE), I do love how they support each other. Sand led Nick out of that hostel like "yes you are crazy friend but we're all a little crazy in love, lean on me and I'll get you home." And I love that for them.

BostonNick. Boston catching feelings? Who would have thought (me, forever ago, lol. I said Nick might sneak in under the radar because Boston was so sure he couldn't possibly, and it looks like I might have been right). The fact that he knows that Nick was the one who told Mew about the sex tape because Nick was the only one he told. Good times. The way he shuts Nick down in spite of the fact that he clearly misses him. Also good times. I genuinely can't wait to see what they do next.

RayMew & RaySand. Putting them together because they're like pb&j for this show. Can't have one without the other rearing it's ugly head. Yes, I said that right.

Ray and Mew were exactly the dumpster fire most of us expected (I'd say all of us but I know there were some people out there who were hoping they wouldn't be - I see you and I appreciate you). Mew is wild out here not even being able to hide how little he enjoys Ray's boyfriendly attentions, and even I had to wince when Ray was waiting for him to say "I love you" back and he just kind a looked at him like "That's...nice." Dude couldn't even kiss him unless he was performing for Top (and okay look, in context the kiss was not great. Out of context? Book and Khao BL when please?).

People seem to think he and Mew are going to be over at some point next ep, but I'm not entirely sure (although after watching the preview again I do think it's more likely than I thought at first, seeing as Mew is flirting with some dude and I don't think he'd do that if he and Ray were still pretending they might actually be able to manage a relationship when only one of them wants one - I could be wrong but I don't think so, even though he does not care for Ray like that I think Mew would be uber sensitive about it considering). That said, if it's Mew who ends it it's gonna feel like we're just doing yet another lap of the same damn track and I wish they'd change the record already. What is it Sand said? Moving on in a circle? Yeah.

Khaotung did say that Ray is selfish and won't stop until he gets what he wants, and I guess we're seeing it this ep. I was so annoyed with him getting up in Sand's space all the time, like dude. You have a whole ass boyfriend (as Sand kept helpfully reminding him). STOP. But he won't stop. Because why should he, right. If he pokes enough Sand'll just give in and then he can have his cake and eat it.

Everything Ray did and said to Sand at that party was awful (although I did get a kick out of him literally running up to pull Sand and the other Freddie apart like the pitter patter of his shoes on the floor combined with just watching him bolt that few feet to prevent lips from touching KILLED me I had to pause the video to cackle with sheer delight this absolute fuckass of a man (surprisingly affectionate)).

He really needs to quit kissing people that don't want him to, please. Like, yesterday. Damn, Ray. Also say what you like, defend it how you want, but trust me Mew would not be happy with any of what he was pulling at the party. Mew IS DATING HIM because Top did something very like, and Ray's big draw was that he would never. And here he is proving Mew spectacularly wrong.

He doesn't want a threesome and he doesn't want polyamory. He wants to play at being Hugh Heffner.

And while I wouldn't buy it of Mew, I totally believe Ray would tell Sand that he and Mew were done to get him back where he wants him. Sand said I won't be your second choice and Ray heard but he didn't listen, he never listens, and I feel like if he's not careful he's gonna push that man into doing something incredibly destructive in the next four episodes. I actually want to be wrong here - I'd like it more if the huge trailer fight wasn't about Mew at all - but the show seems to really want to make glue out of the RayMewSand love triangle horse so I guess we'll have to wait and see.

If I had my druthers since I guess we're doing round three of this, it wouldn't be Ray lying or going back to old reliable when Mew finally admits that he's just not that into him, but a genuine attempt to try to be together with admitted feelings on both sides. And then it would be Sand who does something to fuck it up. If I have to go through this yet again I want Ray to be all in and shattered for once. But let's be real here, this show never gives me what I want (Am I still bitter Top and Sand weren't exes? You bet your ass. I still think Top and Sand should hatefuck or there should be a flashback to a threesome with them and the ex okay it's just what should happen show why do you hate fun) so I'm not holding my breath.

In Conclusion

Things went both better and worse than I expected. Everyone here is a mess and I still have hope for that baseball bat.

Please for the love of all that is good in the world let Sand fuck.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello! i am not sure if this counts as a vent in some parts so i am sorry, lately things have been extremely quiet and its been just me besides one or two headmates cofronting & being co conscious. i feel .. really bad about it for some reason? i haven't really felt like myself lately and memory gaps are increasing, is any of this normal? i should add we are recently discovered (two months) and i am still figuring things out so any advice is appreciated!

Hi! Going through quiet spells and periods is totally normal for systems of all sorts. We’re not sure about your system’s origins, but if you have or suspect you have a dissociative disorder, your headmates may be unable to access you due to dissociative barriers. This might also explain the memory gaps, as dissociative amnesia often accompanies dissociative barriers! We wrote a bit about our experience with dissociative amnesia before, so we’ll include this post in case it might help you!

There are plenty of other reasons why a system may go quiet or experience a lull in communication, that may possibly affect many different kinds of systems, not just those with dissociative disorders! Of the top of our head, here’s a few potential things that could be going on:

- Your system has been stressed or overwhelmed lately

- Your system has been struggling with meeting physical needs, like staying fed, hydrated, and well rested

- Something in your personal life has made your system feel like masking or hiding themselves is necessary for your survival and well-being

- Your headmates are feeling pensive or just don’t have a lot to say or share right now

- Your system is experiencing burnout and mental exhaustion from moving too fast regarding internal communication

- (If you’re a created system) your headmates may need some time spent developing them and working on their own agency and individuality

And more! Again, there are a bunch of reasons why a system may go a bit quiet, but this is normal and something lots of systems experience from time to time! It’s very likely that this quiet spell won’t last forever!

We’re going to link to a little check up post. It may be a good idea to check in with yourself to make sure your needs are being met, and see if that helps!

Also, if your needs are met and you still aren’t hearing from your headmates, it may be a good idea to just take a step back from thinking about your plurality for a while. Perhaps try putting some faith in your headmates, and trust that they will resurface when they’re ready. Then, you can recharge and spend some time focusing on other things. We’ve found that sometimes in our system, we can get so wrapped up in trying to hear from each other all the time that it stresses us out and makes communication more difficult! So taking breaks every now and then has been really useful for helping us maintain healthy connections.

We hope this helps, at least somewhat! We’re wishing you and your system rest, comfort, and plenty of communication in the future!

#long post #internal communication #dissociative amnesia

[purplethespian]

Waiting for Permission to Be Sick - Input Requested!

So, I got officially diagnosed with two chronic conditions last week. And the doctor explained to me the details of how these conditions affect my body, and what kinds of symptoms to look out for, and what I can expect life to look like going forward. And I got prescribed meds, and given detailed instructions for when to take them and any side effects I might experience and what to do to help myself feel better if I'm not feeling well, and all of that.

And I just. Haven't done it. I've started taking some of the meds, but not all of them, and like. There's no real reason for me not to? I'm just. Not doing it. Like I've looked up some products on Etsy to have like. Emergency medical info with me so that if I randomly black out or faint again in public, someone could see me and have info know what to do. And I've been looking at pins that say "I have an invisible disability" and aaaaaaaall sorts of stuff. Basically just window shopping for my chronic illness starter kit. But it's been over a week now and I haven't bought anything, and I seem to have convinced myself that I can't start taking my meds until I have all of my Items sorted out and prepared. And like -- there are some actual reasons for this, such as my schedule has been all over the place and my meds need to be taken at multiple times a day at certain intervals, and some with food and some without food, so I need to be able to have that stuff ready to go even when I'm out and about.

But I'm not. Actually doing the work to get everything sorted out and ready? I'm just window shopping. And today, I have been very tired all day because of the rain and because I did too much yesterday, and my head has been hurting because I'm still not over my concussion and I also probably did too much today, even though honestly all I did was go to one class and observe the whole time, and read a couple of emails. And I thought to myself, "well I guess I should take tylenol for my head, and I guess I can give myself permission to do that since my boyfriend is busy and can't tell me to take care of myself --- oh."

I have been waiting for someone to give me permission to identify as chronically ill! Even today I was like "I feel like I've managed to convince myself that I feel worse than I actually do, and I'm actually fine." Even though there would be no real reason for me to be doing that. And like. My head actually hurts! I really did and still do feel tired! And I've seen my test results, and I know that I have a chronic condition. It's been medically confirmed by a bunch of different tests, and multiple medical professionals have been like "yep you've got something wrong with you" (though using more professional and kind words, of course). All of this to say -- I have been waiting for someone to tell me that I am ill and it is chronic and that it is okay to spend money on taking care of myself and things that will make me feel better, even if it is only temporary like the excitement of buying a new pouch that says "This Bag Is Full of Drugs" specifically to keep my medical supplies in, or something to help keep me safe going forward like a medical alert key chain. The only question now is -- what do I do about this? How do I give myself permission to need help or extra accommodations or even just some medication when I never want to admit that I need or want help? I'm so used to being self-sufficient and doing everything by myself that I don't know how to be okay with more problems.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? What do you do? How do you learn to be okay with the fact that your body is not going to go back to the way it was before? I am only 22 and it's hard to accept that my life is not going to look the way I pictured it when I was 18.

#this post got a lot longer than i meant it to but it sort of turned into journaling halfway through #hopefully people still read it? #hopefully it was not too long to be worth reading? #it's just hard because like. i Already have dealt with a lot of problems in my life #and the whole reason i've been trying so hard to avoid getting covid and getting sick in general #among other reasons #is that i already have Ailments and i don't want more meds to worry about and things that have to be on my radar #and now with this diagnosis it's like yeah i have confirmation so at least the waiting to know is off my radar #but now i have more meds to worry about and more Scheduling that has to be done #plus i've already been pill shamed in the past by my older sister just for taking adhd meds #i don't want to get more shit from her for this #idk dude #just a lot on my plate and now there's more and it makes everything more complicated and harder #at least my boyfriend has been amazing though #he has been so supportive through everything and like he still wants to marry me and everything and it just feels really good #to have his support like that #i know people make jokes about someone talking about their partner and it's just their boyfriend matt #but my boyfriend matt really is my partner in everything and i love him #go matt #everyone applaud for matt #if you read this far into the tags i think you should get a cookie #and i hope you had/have a good day today #also though matt was like 'maybe you should get a cane for times when you have to stand up for a long time' and #idk if i'm ready for that #or if it's even necessary #idk #lots of things #too many things even #i'm tired of there being things #ALSO if anyone read this far and has any product recommendations that made their life easier please lmk

[iwitch-plus]

Online Grimoire/journal Page 2

Page 2 is yet another tarot reading. I feel like tarot is maybe the first step that is easy enough for me to do in my witchy practice and then post here. I find it beneficial to journal, but sometimes journaling is hard because without knowing what I'm feeling, how am I supposed to write about anything? I succumbed to that Zenful Note Tiktok shadow work book. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be, but still not entirely helpful from a current self-care place. Obviously it's a shadow work book, so it's more past focused but right now I don't think I need to try to understand my past. Not quite yet. I will eventually, but to be able to understand my past self I need to understand my current self.

4 years ago, I thought Tarot wasn't super necessary to self care or witchery in general. It seemed hard, and it kind of is, but now that I've taken a couple days to actually consider it and try it, I think it's going to be extremely beneficial for me to be able to help myself, as someone just now coming back into things.

Tonight was my first tarot reading in very long time, aside from my Getting To Know Your Deck reading. (<-link if you're curious)

Let's get right into it! <3

I looked up some self care Tarot spreads but none of them seemed right for my personal needs currently, so I created my own little three card spread. I'm using the Antique Anatomy Tarot deck for this!

At what point did my life [get to where it is now] and less caring for myself?

The Moon - Pisces - 9 - Blue

Key words: Preparation, mastery, wisdom, introspection, dreams, calm, sadness, grief, boredom, illusion, unknown, deception.

My interpretation: By the looks of it, it seems like by pulling the Moon, the deck is trying to tell me that there are many things that have happened over the past couple years that could've contributed to the way I am today, but that I shouldn't place blame on one singular thing, especially if me asking this question means i'm trying to put majority blame on anyone who isn't me. But aside from that, in 2021 I had a friend commit suicide, and for a very long while I grieved that. Not too long after, I got into a relationship with, you guessed it, a Pisces. The relationship did cause me a lot of personal sadness, he wanted things I wasn't ready for, and I did things I regretted out of boredom in the relationship. Both of those are things I could pinpoint of where it sort of started, between grieving and friend, grieving a part of myself I lost because of a relationship I was in, and then grieving a part of myself I wasn't proud of/never knew of because of that same relationship.

Interestingly enough, the word "mastery" came up, which only stuck out to me because I agreed to join a team of people to "master" a hobby I enjoyed, which has inevitably added even more stress into my life and caused me to fall a little deeper than I would've if I hadn't agreed to do that.

2. If I continue the way I am, what can I expect from my future?

3 of Elixirs - Water - 3 - Purple

Key words: expansion, groups, growth, nurture, mystery, dreams, prophecy, high power, connection, social pleasure, gathering, good times

My interpretation: Ha Ha Ha. You know this isn't what I meant. Or, maybe you genuinely didn't know, maybe next time I'll have to be more specific. If I continue the way I am, of course I'll gain more "friends", be in a bunch of different groups of people, have more social pleasures, connections, and good times, but at what cost was the real question? Maybe by not giving me an answer directly, the deck is trying to tell me that I haven't put anything at risk quite yet. Maybe I am overthinking, or I have anxiety, or I believe I've hit a level that I haven't yet. Maybe I really will just have fun and a good time.

3. What, if anything, needs to change for me to better care for myself?

Knight of Blades - Air - 6 - Black

Key words: fairness, solution, values, witty, fair, inventive, fear, power, mystery, pain, assertive, arrogant, quick witted, severe, impatient, argumentative.

The Knight, as a person: Assertive, [manipulative?], typically friendly but if insulted, temper can be severe.

The Knight, as a situation: Rapid change, "seize the day", easy to get swept into the madness. You can do anything as long as you keep a clear mind. Be self-assured, but try not to cross into arrogance.

My Interpretation: Yeeeeeah. This is about me. It's gotta be, I can't think of anybody else in my daily consistent life who is like this except for me. Also, the element here is Air which I have a very air dominant chart. It only makes sense that this is me. Which, given the question I asked, makes sense. What needs to change for me to be able to take better care of myself? I need to be able to practice my assertiveness without being aggressive. The 2 go hand in hand for me. To be able to continue to do the things I'm doing that I'm scared are hurting me, I need to be able to keep a clear mind, keep my values in order, keep my power over these things or else I'll just continue to hold on to this fear and become worse than I already am. I don't exactly know how I need to do that, but it seems like when I figure it out, it needs to be rapid. No more being patient and slow with myself, rapid changes seem to be the way the deck is telling me to go...as long as I don't get swept away into the madness of what I already have going on, or swept away in the madness that rapid changes may trigger if I go that route...hm.

This reading was necessary for me to be able to confirm things I was already halfway considering. While I didn't get a lot of help on the roads I need to take, I have a clearer idea of why I may need to go certain ways than others. Granted, my questions were slightly open ended, less asking for direct guidance and more asking about why things are the way they are. Maybe the next time I come back to the topic of this reading, I'll ask better questions about more specific guidance. Also, the deck said it was going to be real and not sugar coat things to me and I see what it means now. Very nice, Antique Anatomy. Well played and thank you <3

Thank you to anyone who read this as well. See you next time! I promise not everything I do will be tarot related, but right now this is the easiest way to get back into my practice. <3

#witchcraft #witch #wicca #green witch #kitchen witch #pagan #witchblr #witches #tarot #baby witch #tarot spread #tarot reading #self care #witchy #witch craft #beginner witch #eclectic witch #pagan witch #witchcore #witch community #witchcraft 101 #baby pagan #hellenic pagan #paganism #divination #tarot deck #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #cartomancy

[desifleabag]

I am shedding skin

Hey there, if you're reading this, I hope you're doing well. Remember to take care of yourself – eat right, get enough sleep, and maybe even give yourself a little pep talk in the mirror (even if it's a bit tongue-in-cheek). I'm all about that lighthearted, progressive humour! But jokes aside, I genuinely wish you the best.

Today's blog is a bit different. Let's imagine we randomly met up in a bustling city. Picture us sitting down with our chai or coffee, just having a real talk about our lives. So, get comfy in your chair – figuratively speaking, of course.

I used to be that child who disliked her childhood while idealising the idea of growing up into an adult who could earn money, own a house, and achieve all her dreams. It was as if I envisioned a gleaming castle but had no idea how to attain it. At times, I find myself wishing I could sit down with my 10-year-old self and tell her, "It's alright to dislike being a kid because you feel confined and powerless under the expectations of others in your life. Childhood dreams and aspirations are like ice cream – they seem like they'll last forever, but they eventually melt away. You believe that children's boundless and creative energy often goes unrecognised and is simply labelled as “young blood”,' isn't that right? I hear you and I understand. However, living an adult life comes with both the depths of loneliness and the dazzling heights of success. I comprehend that." Throughout my life, I've carried this perspective, and now, as an adult, the image of that castle fills me with anxiety. I'm afraid of the possibility of being crushed under the weight of the glass and the gleaming castle. The never ending “ what ifs' ' never left my hand and I think I also didn't leave because it gave me a sense of self control.

Lately, things haven't been going so smoothly for me. I mean, my mental and physical health are both kind of shaky. I've been going to therapy for about two years now, and it's been a wild ride. Some days, I feel like I'm making progress and getting better, but on other days, I'm my own worst critic. Still, I'm trying my darndest to do more than just get by – I want to really live life.

The thing is, therapy isn't cutting it like it used to. So, my therapist thinks it's a good idea for me to see a psychiatrist for some extra help.For a brief moment, I felt a bit lost, wondering how I was supposed to handle this situation on my own since I didn't have any friends who could accompany me to my psychiatrist appointment. Despite my worries, I decided to go by myself. I went to the appointment, sat down, and talked about my struggles. The outcome of our conversation was the revelation that I was dealing with clinical depression and anxiety. It hit me hard and left me feeling devastated, a sense of helplessness and hopelessness washing over me. However, I made up my mind to take responsibility for my health. I realised that I needed to step up and take care of myself. The psychiatrist prescribed some antidepressants to help improve my mood. Following the appointment, a wave of unease swept over me. I began to fear that my parents wouldn't fully understand what I was going through. I also recognized that my friends couldn't accompany me to these appointments. It was quite a transformation for someone who used to be afraid of the dark and travelling alone – now, I was facing these challenges head-on and prioritising my well-being.

I won't sugarcoat it – these days, being a 20-year-old adult can feel incredibly isolating, even when you're surrounded by people. There's a daunting aspect to being alone, and taking on the responsibility and maturity is no easy feat. Lately, the loneliness I feel amid my pain and struggles has taken a toll on my health. I can sense my smile fading day by day. The desire to continue living feels like an overwhelming burden.This is what most of your adult life you are helpless, hopeless. Lonely, aimless, hanging there in ups and downs of your health with the bigger picture of your life in your hands like you are trying so hard to handle the weight of that picture that it impacts your health and your life too.

As an adult, people will often tell you to love yourself. My idea of self-love has changed a lot. It used to be about liking every part of my body, but now it's more about being my own source of strength when things are tough. I've learned that I need to be okay with all parts of my life, especially because life didn't come with instructions. I've had to face uncertainties to figure out who I am, and I've realised that being kind to myself and finding peace are really important. But even if you read and learn a lot about self-love, there will still be days when you cry because of things that hurt you, whether they're things from the past or things you're still dealing with. You'll want someone to give you a hug, and you'll imagine the best things happening with them. You might even doubt yourself sometimes. Because the truth is, sometimes loving yourself is ugly .Yes, it's a bitter truth I learned in my life. 

While I was flipping through pages of my journal. I wrote down a poem “ I took care of myself and it wasn't pretty” I read on the internet which was written by Schuyler Peck in her book called "The greatest act of self love isn't always pretty.

I took care of myself 

And looked at the overdue bills in the face 

Even though it hurt 

I took care of myself 

And cried ugly through the therapy sessions

Made another appointment for next week 

I put in the work and wrote all the bad memories in detail

I apologised to all the friends 

I didn't have the energy to talk to 

I finally cut off all my dead ends and bought produce 

Slimly avoided sustaining myself 

On barbecue chips and poetry 

I recycled 

I set an alarm for 8 hours of sleep 

And did not sleep more or less

I took care of myself and it wasn't bubble baths 

It wasn't lotion at bath and bodyworks 

And three cheese pizza

It was uncomfortable 

It wasn't beautiful 

But i am 

And it didn't have to be beautiful 

To be worth it 

During my journey of healing and therapy, a significant realisation dawned on me, leading to a profound conversation with a woman I met at a book café recently. This exchange triggered a cascade of thoughts within me. I recognized that my outlook on life had been rather pessimistic, and my energy seemed tainted, like a heap of dirt. I could sense darkness and negativity in my energy and vibrations.

As we conversed, she offered me an observation that struck me deeply: “You are too much in your head. You are living life but on the surface. And you my girl as I have seen you have the strength to turn this all around in a flip. But are you ready for that flip or have you become so used to this sadness and melancholy under smiles and laughter ? This statement hit me with the force of a truck. I spent several hours reflecting on her words and came to a realisation. I had absorbed an abundance of pain, hurt, hate, and fear, to the extent that they had become integral to my identity. It felt as though I had been extracting poison from others' lives to protect them, but this poison had gradually started corroding me from within. My decisions, perspectives, choices, preferences, opinions – they all carried traces of my pain. I had unwittingly moulded myself into a reflection of other people's words and the consequences of their actions. My current self was an amalgamation of trauma responses that had moulded my personality.

Describing this emotion is challenging, but I've lived much of my life in fear, and as a result, I haven't even come close to reaching my full potential. This realisation brings me a sense of sorrow. While this sadness served a purpose at some point, I hadn't felt ready to release it. However, this prolonged attachment to sadness has left me feeling utterly miserable. It has led me to harbour grudges, nourish the darkness within me, and be the victim always 

I inhaled deeply, allowing myself to fully immerse in my emotions and thoughts that night. Having experienced significant challenges in life, including both physical and emotional abuse during my formative years, I realised how this had influenced my perception and experience of life. I had unconsciously adopted the patterns of thinking, feeling, and living that mirrored those who had mistreated me. The way I talked to myself and interacted with others had been shaped by the same negative patterns.

The roots of this can be traced back to the people who were meant to provide care and nurture – our caregivers. As per psychological insights, these early years play a crucial role in determining the foundations of our adult selves. Recognizing this, I began to comprehend that I needed to let go of the aspects of myself that were not truly me. It was a process of shedding the skin of who I had become through my experiences, and instead focusing on learning, evolving, and embracing the person I ought to be.

When you make your identity from starting there are going to be times your shadows will pop up from somewhere and you will question them because you are surprised who this person is. In psychology, the term "shadow" refers to the parts of your personality that you keep hidden or aren't fully aware of because they might be uncomfortable or unacceptable. These hidden aspects, proposed by psychologist Carl Jung, can influence your behaviour even without your awareness. Bringing your shadow to light involves acknowledging these hidden parts, accepting them as natural, and integrating them into your self-awareness, leading to personal growth and a better understanding of yourself. Everyone has their unique shadows and like everyone I also have my own shadows. But there is a skill to make your shadows as your asset and to positively influence your life

I use creativity to explore my hidden aspects. Writing poems and prose allows me to express different sides of myself. However, I've recently realised that I've been using these creative outlets to reinforce my past trauma, pain, grief, and struggles. Rather than helping me move forward, this habit keeps me stuck in my comfort zone. I tend to absorb everything around me, both positive and negative, without being fully aware of it. I've been idealising pain and sadness to the point that they've started defining my worth, particularly through my writing and poetry  performances. Although I originally intended to write about these experiences as a way to release the pain, I've ended up romanticising them. That's why I've decided to take a break from writing and performing at poetry events. My health is currently my top priority, leading me to step back from my internship and organisational commitments. Ultimately, these decisions are aimed at prioritising my well-being and recovery. In this stage of my life, I've moved beyond many friendships and relationships, as growth is constant and our connections change along with it. While cherishing the good times, I've reached a point where bidding a fond farewell feels appropriate, knowing we may never cross paths again. Embracing farewells and new beginnings can be challenging, given the fear of abandonment, yet it's not our responsibility to foresee the destiny of our relationships

I'm putting in immense effort to remove the lenses through which I see the world as constantly on the verge of collapse with each step I take. I yearn to perceive the world as a space for growth and connection with like-minded individuals. I'm aiming to slow down my pace of life, letting go of unnecessary burdens in order to truly experience life and its richness. I wish to wake up each morning as a person who actively chooses to live life to the fullest, seeking happiness, and radiating effortless smiles. Anticipating sunsets with childlike wonder, savouring ice cream with pure joy, and breathing passionately like someone who has been given a second chance. Learning from pain, holding onto hope, cherishing the act of loving, finding delight in purchasing flowers, indulging in reading and writing, dancing in the rain, and wholeheartedly revelling in the art of living. Through my words, I want to provide closure to the past version of myself and make a promise of a brighter future, assuring my inner child that healing is on the horizon.I am shedding skin. It's beautifully painful but worth it.

#mentalheathawareness #desiblr #desi #desi shit posting #desi academia #dear diary #poems #poetries #short essay #spilled poetry #mental health matters #depression #dark academia

[agustdiv1ne]

Hiii congrats on the 2k. I would like to request yoongi with #6b0606 with some fluff and angst. Thank you.

thank you!! hope you enjoy :)

wc: 837

warnings: none

asks are now closed

2k drabble masterlist | main masterlist

yoongi thinks of himself as being incredibly difficult to love.

first and foremost, he spends more time holed up in his studio than he does outside. ever the introvert, he thrives in solitude — tending to spend countless hours alone in front of his computer, music streaming through studio-grade headphones — and is easily drained by excessive socialization. 

secondly, physical affection tends to end up on the backburner, even when he is with you. that's not to say that he is not madly in love, but he finds that he would rather cook a meal for you, or present you with a small, sentimental gift here and there than initiate a cuddling session. 

yoongi rubs his bloodshot, aching eyes as he leans back in his studio's cushioned chair. it's another long night in the studio, it seems. at this point, he is used to it, but the growing ache in his chest sings an ode as to how much he misses you during times like these. 

you, with your bright eyes and gentle hands. you, who visits him when you know he hasn't been taking care of himself as well as he should, who sings horribly off-key in the car with him until you're both heaving with laughter. you, who loves him unconditionally, wholly, shamelessly.

you, his home.

he's about to return to work when a knock at the studio's door causes him to flinch. who could it be at this hour? the sun had set hours ago, an inky void following in its wake. few people wander the streets below, and almost no one remains in the hybe building, so why is there someone at his door?

he rolls over and cracks the door open enough for a singular suspicious eye to catch a glimpse outside. 

when he realizes that it's you, his heart stutters in his chest.

"what are you doing here?" he murmurs as he opens the door wider for you to enter. "it's late."

"a hello would be nice," you joke, sticking your tongue out when he shoots you a small frown. you continue, "i know you haven't eaten today."

he opens his mouth to object, but you fix him with a pointed look. he's been caught. 

you move to set the thai takeout you had bought down, patting the empty spot next to you on the couch in the corner of the room. he stands up, stretching his legs, before settling next to you. a comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you begin to eat. 

the silence provides ample space for words to flood yoongi's exhausted mind. how many times have you done this for him? more than you should have to. you've always taken such good care of him, and what has he ever really done in return? lock himself in his studio and cut the world off for hours, for days on end, come home and immediately fall asleep instead of spending time with you, forget to eat and forget to drink water and forget that he should talk to you when he's feeling down. you're all he could ever ask for, but he falls short in so many places that he wonders how you could ever stay with him for as long as you have. he brings another forkful of pad thai to his lips. 

it's when you reach over to brush your thumb against his cheek that he realizes he is crying.

it's a wordless affair — the way you gently pry the fork from his fingers, the way you engulf him in your embrace, his face tucked into the crook of your neck. you don't ask him to voice what he's feelings, which he is forever grateful for. you just seem to know what's on his mind without him saying anything.

"i love you. i love you so much it hurts sometimes," he whispers after some time, after the tears have dried and the food has gone cold. his eyes remain downcast. "sometimes i ask myself why you stay with me when you deserve so much better." 

a call of his name causes him to look up at you, and he tears brimming your eyes under the low lighting. your voice is resolute when you finally speak. "don't speak so lowly of yourself. you are everything i could ever ask for and more. i do these things for you because i care about you. you may feel like i deserve better, but you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. i love you more than life itself, min yoongi, don't you ever forget that."

he nods, and your lips curl up into a sad smile. he gains the courage to pull you closer, tucking your head into his neck. you melt into his touch easily as you reciprocate with your arms looping around his neck. 

everything is going to be okay — the words are a silent promise that floats through the air like a misty fog — as long as he has you by his side. 

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

#bts fluff #bts angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts drabble #bts x reader #bts timestamp #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabble #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop angst #💌 — yoongs

[titlemewickedwonderland]

The Manager (Ghost fic) Chapter 8

Summary: The Ministry announces an outsider coming to be part of the congregation to help with the Ghost project as a tour manager; little did the Ghoul know; she is nothing like they pictured her or how she'd affect them all.

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Chapter 7

She didn't want things to change. She didn't know to process what happened on that Ferris Wheel. She just knew with a sinking realization that she actually liked it. Whatever happened. Dewdrop had avoided her and said little the rest of the day at the carnival and when the day was over and they had to return to the bus to go to their sound check at the venue he had disappeared into the bus without a word. The others were not stupid; they figured something had happened and after her confession to the ghoulettes at the carnival with a mixture of shock and surprise mingled in with excitement in response left her needing to talk to someone.

The bus had felt far too small knowing that Dewdrop was in their shared bunk space and so Ari stayed out in the living area with the others. They didn't prompt her to explain what had happened or why it was suddenly weird between herself and Dewdrop but they felt the tension all the same and left them alone; normally, they would have said something but with the look on the manager's face they held off.

The sound check had gone well and when it was time for the concert Ari did her part to make sure everyone was taken care of, the equipment sounded fine, and her presence was no longer really needed. While she would have waited at the side of the stage for them when they finished their show; she hadn't been there when they had finished the concert causing some confusion and concern for the woman; it prompted Copia to go in search of the tour manager.

He found her in his dressing room on the phone. Catching sight of him she gave a brief smile before turning away again as she continued speaking and he milled about the room pretending to be busy with other things while he waited but he couldn't help but listen in on her one sided conversation.

"Yeah, uh, if you can after writing up those papers could you schedule a meeting with him for negotiation of assets? Uh huh...no uh. I don't think he realized what had happened. I haven't been taking his calls or answering his messages." Ari was saying to the person on the other line; probably her lawyer friend she had to call for the divorce.

"I mean, I don't really care much about most of the assets so he's free to take whatever the hell he wants except for the things that rightfully belong to me that I brought into the marriage. Yes, I know that. He won't be happy but at the same time do you really think anything can be salvaged from this knowing what happened?" Ari rubbed her forehead with a tired sigh as she sat down on the couch with the phone pressed to her ear.

"I get it. Just, deliver the papers and let him know, please. I don't have the time to go there myself and sort things out right now I'm on a trip for work so the meeting will have to be sometime after that. Okay, thank you, Caroline. Bye." she hung up and tossed her phone on the cushion beside her before slumping against the back.

"Everything okay mio caro?" Copia asked tentatively as he looked over at her.

"Yeah..." Ari mumbled a bit as she closed her eyes. "I was talking with an old friend of mine who's helping me sort out divorce shit." she replied softly.

"Ah, I see." the man sighed and went to the mini-fridge to grab a drink before coming to sit beside her on the sofa.

It was silent for a while between them; the room filled with nothing but the air conditioning whirring in there but even the AC could not clear the awkwardness between them as they sat until Copia finally had the courage to speak up.

"So, a little birdy mentioned something happened at the carnival today...I assume with how distant you and Dew have been is has something to do with that, si?" he glanced at her catching her averting gaze elsewhere in the room.

Ari did not say anything at first as if weighing her words but then she seemed to slump in defeat making up her mind and her head bobbed once in the affirmative before she licked her lips to speak feeling her chest tighten with worry.

"I won't lie to you Copia...Dewdrop and I kissed on the Ferris Wheel. And...I don't know how to work with that knowledge." she said finally meeting his gaze.

"Ah, I see..." The man nodded slowly as he clasped his hands together. "You are worried it will affect your job, si?"

Again, she nodded as she gave him a sad look of defeat. "It's not that I don't know how to work with it Copia it's..." her voice lowered as she lowered her gaze as well. "I liked it."

"I know I shouldn't all things considered. He is my charge, and my friend among other things but our relationship is strained and I'm caught between a hard place and a wall right now with my divorce not being official I'm still a married woman, and on top of that...I don't know if anything could ever grow between us...I just don't know how that'll affect my time with you guys."

The man frowned a bit as he shifted to face her. "Tesero. You have not been here with us long; long enough though to form a bond with this band - not just as a whole but as individuals. If there is a problem it has to be discussed and sorted through if we are to work together."

"But I don't know if Dew and I can Papa. That's what I'm trying to say! I'm stuck in a difficult situation and with everything going on I just don't want this to ruin anything for the band." she said; a sense of pleading in her voice to be understood.

"Then talk to him, my dear. Because nothing will ever get resorted if you don't speak up. That is one thing I have told my ghouls time and time again; they can be difficult and their personalities are so very different from each other but they are not stupid creatures." he told her gently as he rested a hand on her knee and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Give it time. Take some time to think it over and then go talk with Dewdrop. He is a versatile creature; hot-headed and quick to anger but he would understand. He is close with his packmates but he seems drawn to you - that much is clear even to my old eyes. You'll work it out if you just give it a chance. Don't let this small little mishap ruin all you have worked hard for." he rose to his feet

"And if we can't resolve this or come to an understanding?" she feared to even imagine what they meant for her; hated the look in Papa's eyes as he turned to her - those mismatched eyes gazing down at her with understanding but resignation.

"Then follow your heart and do what you feel is right...even if it means that you have to walk away, mi cario."

The idea of leaving the job and leaving her friends she'd made her heart ache something feirce but she understood his message. If this continues to be a problem and makes it difficult to work around knowing what they did...did she have the strength to drop everything she worked so hard for so far and just leave them? Her throat constricted as she nodded watching as the man opened the door to leave only to find Rain and Swiss standing there looking as if they were about to knock. Copia said nothing as he brushed past them and went down the hall allowing the two ghouls to enter the room.

"Ari..." Swiss began not sure what to say; it was clear they had heard what had been said inside the room moments ago and the looks on their unmasked faces were one of hurt and almost panic.

"You're leaving?" Rain's voice was soft and wavered a bit as the pair entered and drew closer. "Ari please..."

The woman's eyes burned a bit as she shook her head and looked down. "I don't know guys. I just...I need some time to process everything you know?"

Rain's body collided with hers as he launched himself into her arms; burying his face into her shoulder as he wrapped her arm in his arms; hugging her for his comfort as much as her own as he squeezed his eyes closed tightly.

"Don't leave....Please, just...don't leave us Ari."

Ari sucked in a breath as she wrapped her arms around the water ghoul and hugged him back; softly combing her fingers through his hair as she lifted her gaze to meet Swiss' where he stood.

"I love you guys, you know that right? So whatever happens...whether Dew and I can work this out...Just know I'll always be just a phone call away no matter what."

Swiss sat on the sofa's arm chair and wrapped an arm around her to pull her against his side and rested his head on hers. "Don't say shit like that. Just...fight for us okay?"

She nodded silently allowing her tears to finally slip free as she leaned into him. She didn't know what she would do. She loved this band so much but her stress, her anxiety, and her confusion made it hard for her to think. She knew in her heart she needed to stay but was it worth staying when the little family she grew into was breaking apart over one little kiss?

When it was time to leave and head back to the bus Ari found the others went to bed early; the gloom of the impending issues still on their minds as they curled in on themselves in the privacy of their bunks; they were not staying in a hotel tonight and opted to sleep in the bus until they needed to go to their next event. When she entered her bunking space with Dew she found him lying on his back sprawled out on his phone but the look on his face said he hadn't been paying attention to what was on his screen - probably having heard her enter.

Silently she placed her toiletry bag back in its place after having finished getting ready for bed and crawled into the bunk feeling the air within this small space stifling. She was planning on just going to bed when Dewdrop finally spoke up; the sound of his voice was quiet but kind of cold as he spoke.

"I heard you're planning on leaving."

she lifted her head to look over her shoulder at him; having turned her back when she settled in for bed so that she didn't risk looking over at him. "I haven't made a decision. I'm dealing with a lot right now Dewdrop so just...go to sleep. It's not worth talking about it." she mumbled closing her eyes.

But he wouldn't let it go. "I kissed you because you were scared; I was trying to distract you."

"Distract me?" Ari laughed a bit glaring at the wall. "You could have picked a different route to do that. You kissing me was probably not your first choice."

"No, it wasn't. It hadn't even crossed my mind. I just acted." he agreed after a moment and Ari sighed audibly from her bed.

"Then just...let it go." she said softly.

"I can't."

"Oh?"

The sound of shuffling made its way to her before a weight dipped beside her and a warm body lay against her back; the heat of his body was distracting as she squeezed her eyes shut hoping he wouldn't say anything and just leave her be but he wouldn't. Of course, he wouldn't, that wasn't Dewdrop's personality.

"I can't let it go because I liked it." Dewdrop's voice was low and she could feel the heat of his breath against her neck.

Chewing on her lip she debated if she should tell him the same thing but a heated hand along her side caused her to forget her words.

"And I know you liked it too." he whispered as he scanned the side of her face.

"Dewdrop..." she sighed softly and turned her head to face him not realizing how close their faces were until their noses brushed and she found herself staring up into his hellish orbs.

"You liked it. I know you did. I could feel it....I could smell it on you."

Her face heated up a bit and she licked her dry lips; watching as his eyes fell to them at the motion.

"I'm still technically married Dew. Divorcing or not I'm still married. And with everything going on...nothing can happen. I'm still also your manager...do you know what kind of issues that could cause?" she said softly.

"Like I fucking care."

"Well, you should!" she said loudly as she sat upright. "By moral standards, I'm still married and I cheated on my husband making me no better than him. On top of that, I'm practically your boss!" she stated with a frustrated huff as she ran her fingers through her hair in exasperation.

"You may be legally married but you were lost to him the moment he decided to mistreat you the way he did not to mention his cheating ways so that fucking is bullshit logic right there." Dewdrop snorted sitting up too and giving her a look.

"Dew... you're just not getting it." she sighed.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me to." he stated seriously as he drew closer; invading Ari's personal space. "Tell me that kiss was a mistake and that you don't have feelings for me no matter how confusing they are and I'll let it go." he commanded

But Ari's mouth wouldn't work as she stared up at him in shock. What could she say to that? Tell him what he wanted to her? Or tell him lies just to get him away from her? She was an honest woman, and no matter how painful it was to say it she couldn't lie to him.

"I can't..." she finally whispered. "I can't lie to you and say that the kiss meant nothing or that I don't have feelings for you Dewdrop. I care about you. About you, and the rest of the pack, and Papa...but I just...can't do this." she said softly feeling that familiar knot in her stomach.

"I don't want to ruin anything."

The fire ghoul stared at her a long moment before he exhaled a breath and rested his head on her shoulder closing his eyes. "I guess that's it then..." he muttered before pulling away from her and getting off her bed to go to his own.

"Dewdrop!" she reached for him but he was out of her reach. "Look, I don't want to-"

"Enough Ari!" he threw his hands up stopping her. "I get it. I'm not as hot-headed as people make me out to be. I understand. you made your choice." he muttered before getting into bed; turning his back on her and shutting off his lamp.

Ari stared at his figure for a long moment; a sad expression on her face as she fell back into bed. For the first time in a long time; she cried herself to sleep. Silent tears wetted the pillow by her face as she raged at herself and fought the confusing emotions that tore through her. Had she made the right choice in rejecting him?

~

Chapter 9

#Ghost #Ghost Band #Ghost ghouls #nameless ghouls #the band ghost #rain ghoul #ghost fandom #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #phantom ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #rain x oc #swiss x oc #dewdrop x oc #phantom x oc #mountain x oc #Cardnial Copia #Papa Copia #Copia #Ghost fic

[chaeinedup]

Hot and Cold

CH16- Steady wins the race

Warning: just sweet words

previous// //next

[1:12AM]

Time was flying by a little too fast. As much as you tried to savour every moment once you looked at the time anxiety started to settle in. It's not that he makes you feel uncomfortable, it's quite the opposite. He makes you feel like love is worth your time at least with him. And as complicated as you can be you don't want to lose him.

You guys never had THE conversation but you don't need it, it's pretty clear how you both feel about each other. Always making sure the other one is okay, loved and taken care of. In the beginning it was a little scary, opening up to someone new is risky but it was so worth it. Summer can be a wonderful season to fall in love in, plenty of time to create memories that you'll remember when you're 80 and reminiscing on your teenager years. And like the sun, Jake brought you happiness, comfort, fun and all things nice. Brought you will to be better for you and everyone around you.

You were set to let go of your toxic habits and hopefully he could help you with this journey.

Jake: Are you okay?

Y/n: Yeah sorry I just got in my head for a while.

Jake: What is it? Is something wrong?

Y/n: Actually no, everything has been really good. Can I tell you something? - you said while reaching for his hands, putting them on your lap.

Jake: Of course, shoot.

Y/n: Soooo you know how we love spending time together and how close we've gotten ? Yeah so it's safe to say that I have feelings for you, and it's weird that I'm just saying it like this, like I'm just so comfortable that I'm able to talk about my feelings for you, with you. I'd like to think you feel the same way, from all the things you've said to me and the way you act, I think so but I don't want to take your kindness and politness as liking me cause I could be wrong. So I want you to tell me if you do feel the same way.

He was frozen, starry eyed and mouth wide open. He was caught by surprise, he wasn't expecting a love confession from you today. He had his planned for next week. But nonetheless he was thrilled to finally be able to tell you how he feels. He has tried to always be as lowkey as possible but the truth is, every time he's with you his heart threatens to rip his chest apart. He wants nothing more but to spoil you and spend all his time by your side.

Jake: I'm not gonna lie, you caught me off guard. I was gonna confess to you next week, nice food, flowers, walk on the beach, the whole nine yards but you beat me to it. Like you always do.

Y/n: What's that supposed to mean?

Jake: You kissed me first and you confessed first, I'm really gonna have to do better.

You were both smiling like a couple of fools, who would've guessed that you would fall for each other this quickly. Definitely not you two or Sunghoon. Without letting go of your hands he kneeled in front of you.

Jake: I don't think I have much to say, I think my heart has shown just how much I care for you but because you want me to I will try to express myself as best as I can. Since the day that I met you I thought you were so sweet, you smile so bright it's almost like you're a star you have this glow to you and its contagious. Being around you makes me giddy, makes me feel like I want to hide my face because you make me blush when you look me in the eyes. Y/n, whatever you think makes you complicated, it doesn't, it makes you, you. And I love every part of you even the ones I haven't seen.

You were at a loss for words, he really hit you where it hurts, your lovesick heart. Jake makes you want that clingy, "can't live without you" type of love, even if both of you are not that type.

Y/n: You're gonna make me cry if you keep being so sweet to me.

Jake: Then I'll gladly wipe your tears for you, I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. Would you like that?

Y/n: Are you kidding??!! I would love that.

He placed his hands on your cheeks and placed the softest most delicate kiss someone ever gave you. The way he handled you with so much care made you weak and tears started to fall. He gently wipped them away as he promised.

Jake: I guess I finally beat you to it.

You both chuckled loudly making bystanders steal glances at you both. But in moments like these the world stops and the only thing that matters is how wonderful love is.

[Taglist: @jakewife @bluxjun ]

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