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hawkefaery · 1 year

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Millicent and Isbeth's relationship

(As always, this is me rambling. This post is my own interpretation of what read, you are free to disagree with me and I am free to disagree with you)

I have the theory that Millicent was raised by Isbeth herself and that she always knew that Isbeth was her birth mother. Plus, I believe that Millicent grew up more like Sera, fully knowing that she would have to fulfill her purpose as the maiden. Since I came up with that theory, I have this idea stuck in my head that I would absolutely love to read about: Millicent and Isbeth's mother-and-daughter relationship. I think the path to do that was already settled so it wouldn't be a topic coming from nowhere. I would love to read that while Poppy had Coralena as her mother, Millicent was raised by her birthmother, Isbeth. I want that to be developed as an internal conflict in her character. I think it would be interesting to read a character that is torn up between loving her mother and hating the monster that she was. And while other mothers in the series such as Coralena, Caliphe or even Eloana wouldn't fit the characteristics needed for this conflict to happen, Isbeth ticks all of them. Let me explain:

topics:

1.why would isbeth and millie fit the characteristic for this internal conflict to happen? 2. Their relationship In the war of two queens

2.1 their conflictive relationship

2.2 their affective relationship

3. why wouldn't other mothers fit this trope?

why would isbeth and millie fit the characteristic for this internal conflict to happen?

First of all, it is needed to understand why would be Millicent and Isbeth good and interesting characters to have such a relationship. As I said before, I want Millie's character to be torn between hate and love, so how this would be possible with a character as unlovable as Isbeth? this would be possible for how Isbeth's personality is presented out to be. Isbeth is in fact cruel, she is the worse kind of evil. In the story, Isbeth cares little for anyone but herself, she held hostage and tortured Casteel, Malik, and Ires in all the possible ways, she hurts Poppy, and she is a liar, self-centered, and manipulator. Basically, she is awful BUT that is not all about her. (I won't go too deep into Isbeth's personality in this post because I have one here called "Isbeth and redemption" going deeper into her personality if that is what you are interest in) Isbeth has dim glimpses of humanity throughout the series. She is shown to care for her daughters. (DISCLAIMER because I hate to be misunderstood: I am NOT saying that isbeth is innocent or any less guilty for the things she did, I believe she is fully aware of how harmful she was to everyone but I believe the lines were blurry to her in some situations. does this make her less guilty? no. Let's keep going) To my opinion, Isbeth's character knew what good and evil were, she knew what she did to Casteel, malik, and Ires was abuse, but I don't believe she fully realized or could tell apart between love and abuse or healthy love and toxic harmful type of love. Examples of this are:

The fact that she kept poppy away from living her own life because she wanted to protect her daughter, and apparently, she also did all this maiden thing to Millicent too

the fact that she kept poppy from knowing her true identity by hiding basic information about her such as who his parents were, if she had siblings, etc

another example is when she tells to Casteel that she does not want to have a war with her daughter and yet she is talking to her daughter's heartmate whom she kidnapped after he offered himself to save that same daughter's lives that isbeth herself was about to take.... I mean

Despite I do not believe Isbeth ever got to care for Malik, she favored him in some way or another after he convinces that he was on her side. There is a dialogue when Malik says fuck you to isbeth and isbeth replies making a reference that neither he nor she have wanted to fuck in a while. This dialogue in insolation seems harmless but in the story's context Malik is a prisoner, he never wanted to actually have sex with her, he just wanted to survive, and also it is known from Casteel and isbeth herself that she does not care much about consent. What I'm saying is that I believe that Isbeth was at some point convinced that Malik was intimate with her because he desired her, because he choose to be, and not because he felt he had to.

With that said, I believe that Isbeth could tell apart between wrong and right but I do not fully believe she knew how to healthy love someone. Even her love for Malec seemed like an obsession.

Their relationship In the war of two queens

(disclaimer: maybe there are more examples, I will just talk about the ones I remember)

their conflictive relationship

According to Malik, Isbeth was not much different with Millicent than she was from everyone else. Isbeth abused her daughter, physically or mentally is unknown yet, but he said that she was destroying Millicent. It does not come as a surprise since this is a common behavior in Isbeth.

Even when there are only a few interactions between them, one thing is completely clear: they don't get along. Examples of this are:

Millicent not following her mother's beliefs or supporting her plans in taking over the realms she even fights against her during the final battle. The fact that she did not agree with her mother probably created a strained relationship

Isbeth making comments about Millicent's height/her appearance. Based on Poppy's description of the situation, Millicent does not like her short height to be pointed out and she was displaced by what her mother said.

Millicent seems to care about the habitants of Solis. I say this because back in the crown of gilded bones (I think it was that book at least) when Poppy was absolutely ready to tear Solis apart to find Casteel, it was Millicent the one that stood between Poppy's anger and Solis, she was the one ready to fight Poppy and die trying to protect that people. I have the feeling that Millie will be with the people of Solis like Sera was with the people of Lasania, I have the feeling that she cares for them and even when she can do very little for them, she will try to protect them. On another hand, it is more than clear that Isbeth cares very little for the people of Solis, she took away their children, held the rites, didn't care about poverty, health or education, etc. This is also another reason why they could have a complicated relationship.

Isbeth couldn't care less about hurting Millicent as a revenant. When she was showing Poppycas what revenants were able to do, Isbeth did not hesitate when it came to hurting her own daughter. While, for example, Malik was literally having a crisis, Isbeth just kept on talking.

I already mentioned this so I won't explain further, but isbeth was an abuser and not only to Millicent herself but also to the ones she cared for, such as Malik. An example of this is when Isbeth explains that malik "learned to make the situation easier for himself" and Poppy (who narrates this scene in twotq) describes "a burst of acid anger, quick punch from Millicent". That is another reason for Millie to dislike her mother

their affective relationship

Yes, but I did not say anything that was not obvious but, again, bear with me. Millicent and Isbeth already have a conflicting relationship BUT there is also love in this relationship. As I said the interactions were very few but still there is something there:

(Disclaimer bc I would hate my words to be misinterpreted: These are fictional characters, they do not exist. I do NOT mean this in real-life situations, abusers are abusers no matter what role they have in one's life. Thank you)

Isbeth does not hate her daughters. She is sick and twisted and monster, but she loves her daughters in that sick, twisted, and monstrous way of hers. We do not know anything about Milie's past besides that she died and was turned into a revenant so I'm going to be referring to what is known so far.

After Millicent died, even when she failed, Isbeth couldn't lose her. She couldn't lose her precious daughter. Isbeth was so desperate to not lose Millicent that she used old primal magic to bring her back. She didn't care that Millicent would not be a god and therefore useless to her revenge, she wanted her daughter with her

Isbeth gave Millicent a position of authority among revenants and her soldiers. I believe this despite it is not said because Millicent would always be with Isbeth, she was also leading the group that intercepted Poppy, Kieran and Reaver on their way to Solis, Millicent was also the one that intercepted the Poppycas team in Oak Amblr, etc. I believe Millicent was not just another soldier or handmaiden, but she had like a high position among them (This comes straight up from my interpretation and imagination, I can be completely wrong because, again, this is not mentioned in the books but is how I interpret those situations)

They also have this weird domestic interaction after Poppy killed someone (I don't remember who) Millicent laughs and Isbeth threats her saying that because of that she will have to clean and Millicent is like "yeah whatever". I bring this up to point out the familiarities between them, and it is also intended to be like that because Poppy even points out that the interactions between Millie and Isbeth are weird (this is before she knew millie was her sister), the way they behave between them is clearly different from the way they behave toward other people.

This last interaction is actually the one why I believe (And hope) Millicent was raised by isbeth and knowing that she was her mother. The relationship and interactions between Poppy and Isbeth are very different to the Interactions between Millicent and Isbeth. Millie and Isbeth have much more familiarity than Poppy and Isbeth, Millicent knows what makes her mother mad and knows very detailed things about her such as that she is a strict person when it comes to manners and cleaning. The relationship between Millie and Isbeth seems different even when Poppy also spent time with Isbeth when she was a child and according to Poppy Isbeth aka Ileana was a kind person to her. So I think this difference in behavior appears because Poppy grew up loving and then mourning another mother, Cora was her mum, and Isbeth was her queen, a friend of her mum but not her mother. While Millicent on the other hand, grew up knowing that isbeth was her mother.

why wouldn't other mothers fit this trope?

I would try to keep this last part short. Basically, I believe this because of what I said about Isbeth's personality before. She loves her children but he does not know how to love her love is harmful and confusing. Let's take Caliphe for example (Sera's mom), Sera wanted to be loved by her mother but she clearly did not care about her daughter, she did not love sera. There is no debate in there or internal conflict, Sera wants to be loved but she knows her mother does not love her. Calliphe never trained her right or mindfully, she was just mean and used her. Then there is Eloana which is the opposite and that is, again, why there is not much conflict. Eloana loves her boys, and that is the end of the story, whatever she did mistakes or not as a parent, does not take away the fact that she loved them and tried her best to be a good mother. Casteel speaks fondly of her, she cares for their safety, worries for them respects them, she is not violent towards them, etc etc. And last, there is Coralena who, despite she is just a memory in the books, she loved Poppy enough to risk and lost her life for her, Poppy was her daughter and she loved her.

Author's note: I do not know what this post is anymore, I genuinely have no idea if this is a theory, an analysis or.... I don't know but something it is, I just have no idea what. Anyways, as always I hope you enjoy and please feel free to share your thoughts

#my options #millie deserved better honestly #millicent #isbeth #character talk #from blood and ash #the war of two queens #the crown of gilded bones #a kingdom of flesh and fire #fbaa #fbaa series #jennifer l armentrout #jennifer armentrout #sera mierel #poppy balfour #poppy da'neer

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treesandtheirberries · 2 years

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y/n's one-night stand PT.2

wc: 2.1 k, angst. harry and (y/n) talk ... they maaaybe end up in a fight

read part one here.

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After Harry had gotten (y/n) out of bed, he also convinced her to get dinner with him. So, as the two walked downtown together Harry tried setting a lighter tone, in comparison to the mood he walked into. It hurt him to see her in an intense internal conflict, and he wanted to alleviate it like she often did for him. He could tell that (y/n) was being reserved in her answers, and was withholding herself emotionally. Being her best friend for years, he knew her habits. She would tend to shut down during a depressive episode and be extremely vocal during a suspected manic one. He understood that the two were contrasting when it came to physical intimacy and thus the conversation about it would reflect that.

After their initial talk, he still felt guilty in a sense, that he couldn't be the one to provide a good experience. First experience. He should have known how emotionally driven she was, and he should have been the one to provide the best experience full of all the love and adoration she deserved. Every time these thoughts would enter his head, they would be accompanied by jealousy, fear, and even insecurity. Was it that he wasn't good enough for her? Why couldn't he be the first? He wasn't used to doubting himself as a person yet this one situation had thrown him off. He could get any person he wanted, that's never been an issue. But now he's pinning over the one person that didn't want him? He knew he was being irrational, so he would quickly end these thoughts by calling someone for a hook-up. Not the best way to cope with one's emotions, but it was helping, frankly.

What he didn't know though, was the (y/n) practically made an oath to herself regarding her emotions. She was going to 'mature up' and stop being a "little-whiny-bitch". Everyone her age is trying to have sex: some succeeding and others not. Why was it such a big deal for her then? The days she spent trapped in her room, she realized that the only thing making the situation worst was herself. Her expansive internal monologue was what was killing her. After banging her head on the wall over and over (her head is still tender) she realized it was all her fault. She hated herself in about every form, but having to live with her head was the biggest punishment of all because she couldn't escape it. This is where the oath came into play. She decided to ignore these feelings and to abandon the train of thought she possessed since the beginning of time. New (y/n) didn't share the feelings that gave any indication she was a loser. New (y/n) didn't care whether one-night stands wanted her or not. The new her wanted to get off like everyone else. She deserved to.

And sure, late at night, when she felt such an extreme burn in her chest, yearning for any sort of human connection, she couldn't find any way to get rid of it. Yet, she just decided she wasn't going to let that show in the day or influence her decisions. (y/n) accepted she wasn't an easy person to like, let alone love. She decided that if she tried hooking up with enough people, then she'd get used to it like Harry. It was a perfect balance: pleasure and feeling temporarily needed.

The two finally sat down at a small restaurant for sushi, their personal favorite. It was typically reserved for special events such as acing an exam or the last days of the semesters, but he thought a mental breakdown warranted the pricier dinner. After ordering their rolls, Harry was getting frustrated with her nonchalance.

"(y/n), please, just tell me what happened these past few days? I missed you."

Looking at him, she tilted her head giving him a smile. "What? I had a weird few days, you know. Whole chemical imbalance thing," she softly said, pointing at her head.

Harry isn't convinced. He knows her and he can tell she's brushing it off. You don't just mentally spiral just to pretend it didn't happen. "You're being dishonest," he said straightforwardly.

(y/n), still nonchalant, was unaffected by his stern tone. "Really Harry, it's nothing. I'm better now I just had a small episode. I'm doing really good now!"

"How? I came to your room after days of radio silence to you still in bed with swollen eyes. How the fuck is that better? Just tell me what happened, (y/n). Is it about our talk, is it something I said because-"

"Stop."

"It's okay that you're experimenting but maybe you could do it with someone you trust and-"

"Harry."

"I know it really hurt you to do that but it shouldn't because you should feel good-"

Feeling cornered and pressured, her voice finally rose to shut him up: "Harry!"

Immediately stopping his ranting that reflected his internal discussions, he looked up to see (y/n) in a stressed state.

"I don't want to be like that anymore. I don't want to shelter myself or have things affect me so greatly. I really am sorry for scaring you these past few days, I've just been gathering my thoughts. I know how to go about things now."

Looking at her confused, Harry asked, "what does that mean?"

Waving her hands to him, she said "Look at you! You're living an incredibly balanced life that includes sex. If you can do it so can I!" Her tone was lighthearted and determined, but anyone could see through her facade.

"But that's me. I've been doing it for a while now," his tone flat. He hoped his reminder didn't make him seem less worthy of her, although he doesn't see how she could ever view him as virtuous. "We're not the same."

"It's just because I'm behind, I need to start hooking up more so I can get used to it. I'm already talking to this guy who might come over tonight," she finished, as she went to look at her most recent text messages with the guy she found on tinder, proud.

At this point, the two have received their food and were slightly occupied with it, but that didn't stop Harry's emotions from reacting. "(y/n), what the fuck? Have you learned nothing from the last time?" He kept telling himself he was calling her out because of her reckless behavior, not because the thought of her hooking up with someone else was so devastating.

She looked at him offended as if he was saying something extreme and unwarranted. "Why are you treating me like a child? Why can you fuck a new person every night but when I want to it's a big fucking deal? I'm allowed to have fun too, y'know."

And the small burn he was feeling in his chest irrupted, both out of jealousy and insecurity. She was going to sleep with other men if he wanted to or not. There was no way he could control her behaviors or even guide her. And even then, she didn't want to fuck him. Of course not, she practically said he's been run through. "Yeah. Yeah, okay but we're fucking different. Are you just going to keep having hook-ups that you know will send you into another depressive episode for me to fix?"

Immediately turning her eyes to him, she glared. "I didn't ask you to come over."

"You practically were by begging for attention after purposefully not answering my messages." He didn't know where his anger was coming from, but he felt enraged from the previous days and he was finally taking it out. Only, it was all directed at her.

"I didn't ask for shit. You just can't fucking stand the idea of me being an actual adult and having fun."

In response, Harry laughed. It was sarcastic and dry, enough to portray his current mood. "Please, (y/n). You talk about wanting to be like me but you weren't made for it. You're the one with your head, don't you realize how fucking dramatic and needy you are? As if you could ever act like a normal person when hooking up. Why do you want to be a whore so bad?" As soon as the words left his lips his smirk disappeared, fading into one of sympathy.

Looking at her, he realized he really messed up this time.

"A whore? What, like you?"

And just like that, his worst fear was coming to fruition. And it was all his fault. "(y/n) no look I didn't-"

"Shut up, don't even try to act like you haven't been thinking of that since our talk. I get it, I understand how difficult I am. I never wanted to drag you into this because I already know how 'dramatic and needy' I am," she spat with a bitter tone. "You don't need to fucking remind me. I'm figuring it out. I don't need someone like you to make me feel shitty about my decisions or belittle my mental state. I'm not a child and I'm not going to let you walk over me like that." Shoving her hand into her bag she managed to pull out two twenty-dollar bills to leave at the table whilst she gathered her stuff.

Although his heart was burning to apologize, to hold her and wipe the tears that started to form in her eyes. To say he didn't mean it, that he was being selfish and insecure. But he couldn't do it. Although he had known this girl for years, he couldn't swallow his pride. Instead, he maintained his angry eyes set on her, rasping out "You need me."

(y/n) was known for her impulsions. She was known to ruin long-running relationships in her life due to a misunderstanding or falling out. They both knew it and they always did their best to communicate, although their pride stood in the way. The two stared at each other, realizing they both had gone too far in insulting one another.

Looking at him, she snapped. "I never needed you. In fact, fuck you. Asshole," she finished for good measure finally leaving.

Harry sat back in his seat comfortably, watching her walk away. From an outsider's perspective, he seemed unaffected. Almost as if he was waiting for her return. Inside though, he was yelling at his stupid fucking brain as a pain developed in his chest. It felt harder to inhale, and he clenched his hands due to their burning sensation. As tears began to collect in his eyes, he blank them quickly away. It didn't matter. It didn't matter that the best thing that's ever happened to him has walked away and likely would never approach him again. All is well.

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(y/n): wanna meet tonight?

Ryan: yeah. which dorms?

After leaving Harry, (y/n) felt an extreme urge to prove him wrong. She has the capacity to be like any other college student, and she didn't care if that made Harry's perception of her change any more. He used the biggest insecurity she had against her, and (y/n) simply could not fathom forgiving him. While in her room, she cursed him out and punched her pillow in sheer anger. How dare he? No amount of curse words could relieve her anger, but perhaps fucking a stranger might.

She got ready and tried shaking away her nerves, feeling fueled by the need to prove him wrong.

Hearing a knock at her door, she looked in the mirror one final time before going to open it.

"Hey," Ryan said, stepping in as (y/n) moved out of the way. "How're you today?"

With a soft laugh to hide her nervousness, (y/n) smiled. "We don't have to go through the formalities, you came over to fuck, no?" Her false confidence was soaring, making her appear experienced.

"Yeah, yeah." He smiled back, walking over to her bed, still facing her.

As the two stared at each other for a bit, he made the first move in leaning in for a kiss. With her heart racing (this was only the second person ever she's kissed now, it's still a big deal for her) she leaned in, wrapping both hands behind his neck. Sighing into the kiss, she melted at the way he was kissing her. Like he wanted her. She loved the feeling.

Pulling back, he kept a hand on the side of her face, observing her intently. "Let's get on the bed, make you comfortable."

Nodding and following along, she positioned herself to be on her back, Ryan getting on top to continue the kissing. As the kissing became more heated, (y/n) knew it was time to increase the intensity and reached a hand down to where she felt him growing on her thigh. Immediately, she received a grunt, making her feel proud of her actions.

"Got a condom?"

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(tag list: @rbforsmileycal )

part 2 ladies and gentlemen and enbyies!!!! let me know what you thought!

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles one direction #harry styles fanfiction #harry smut #college!harry #bestfriends!harry #harry styles fic #harry styles au #sub!harry #dom!harry

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remsmoonlight · 3 years

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— title : i need you

— word count : 2.1k words

— pairing : ryuji goda x reader

— summary : convincing ryuji of doing the opposite of what he’s set out to do is a pointless task, yet you will attempt if it gives him even one more day.

— warnings : blood, mentions of violence, some swearing, mentions of imagining of death, angst

notes : inspired by a prompt from here .. i had to do a self indulgent thingy for tumblr .. because why did they have to kill him off like that .. i tried to be dramatic as i possibly could

" none of this would've happened if you had just listened! "

A muffled silence drowns your hearing, the spinning of the Earth decelerates until it feels little more than a crawl with a weak grip. Rough cement scrapes the smoothness of your knee, leaving an angry blemish as grit fights to find its way into your bleeding wounds. No graze can pull you out of the deep end your heart finds itself fighting to stay above of, as you witness your worst fear painted perfectly on a canvas steeped in blood. The stillness of the air leaves you feeling flustered as your mind tries to make sense of what it observes before it, hoping that it’s no more than a deceptive trick played on itself by the fear you felt as you made your way up the tall structure.

A romantic thread of words have never failed in supply, but words left unsaid threaten to crush you under their weight, lost moments to time. A shudder of a breath shakily is let out, the cold air kick starts your body as you push yourself up and scramble to where the battered and bloodied body of Ryuji lays, almost motionless in pain. A childish cry to wake up from this nightmare is all you can think of, but reality does not bend to the whims of humanity, it continues with the path it has set. Resentfully, you can see the similarity that it shares with the male.

“ none of this would've happened if you had just listened! “ A broken cry full of fiery misery lick at the delicate snowflakes that descend from the heavens with a short lived grace, full of threats to burn as they penetrate your space.

The shock of the vibrancy of the liquid that escapes Ryuji leaves time standing still, you care not however, your fingertips gripping a heavy shoulder as the other lends a gentle touch to his cheek. Pain and grief masks itself as anger. You sorely wish to blame someone or something, but you had warned him.. You’d tried to reason with him that this course he’d set would leave him chasing an unattainable taste of sweetness of satisfaction that would dull with each day that dawns. A strong will that had left you in an addictive awe leaves you with a decaying taste in your mouth now, it creates an impossible amount of scars on your soul.

“ ‘Guess I should’a listened to ‘ya after all. “ He reluctantly answers, the humour unable to battle the drain out of his voice completely.

“ Why couldn’t you have just let this lie? “ A ticking pulls your attention away for a fraction of a passing second, a groan causes you to turn back.

“ Was always gonna end this way. “

A weakened grip that belongs to Ryuji ignores the resistance from his body, enduring the pain from the movement in order to experience skin against skin contact for himself once more. He wishes he could have found it within himself to have turned left, but he’d have lost himself without this self imposed purpose, fading into the background. It was selfish, to bring you into his world.. But to him? You’re an unfinished book, your words inked with glittering star dust that etch themselves into existence. He was unable to tear him away from your pages that you may have worn like wings. Selfish. To know how his story would end, yet knowing he would not be around for yours.

“ No. “ Your lips close, pushing against each other to numb the other, your features twisting into an aching grimace.

“ Can’t stop it now. “ he insists, brows drawing together as he scrunches his eyes up from the agony that throbs through every inch of flesh. “ Shit’s set in stone now. “

“ Stop it! “ You sob, hating how vulnerable you sound.

There is a sorrowful beauty in the scene, notes Ryuji. Pale beams of moonlight triumphant until the point of reaching your body that blocks it. Leaving no more than a radiant glow surrounding your head, providing an inhuman glow that illuminates your body as much as your soul — a wistful image that he’s glad to witness once more. Your being here is something of a majestic collision into a door to his person he’d fought to keep locked, if this is a departing gift he would gladly take it. He’d thought the last time he saw you would be when he unwillingly shared his plan, should this ending occur, he could take comfort in there not being a picture of you waiting at the door waiting for the other half of you to walk through the door, only to be met with a crushing realisation of never seeing him again. Only, he’d not expected you to follow in his tracks, not after he’s ignored your pleas of turning away from this path.

“ Ya better get outta here, ‘place is gonna blow soon. “

“ Not without you. “ you argue, refusing his direction — your grip strengthens ever so slightly, fearing the winter breeze has the power to boldly grow and tear you away from the man.

“ Ya got’a whole life ahead of ya. “ A twist of his heart is the dominant sensation he notices at the thought.

He wishes he could be there for it, to see the petals of your success bloom in the depths of your determination. One thing he could never understand was how, despite the tainted reputation that follows him like a shadow, never had been enough to put you off. Not a criminal tie to your name and you voluntarily merged your time and energy with his, with little care. Perhaps that’s where an addiction to his selfishness began. All his life and his Yakuza connections secluded him from genuine human connections and you’d trampled all over that with your impartial view. Many would prefer to cower in their fear, you’d scratched past the surface to see who he could be capable of being.

All the time spent together, and yet he still craves more. To linger in your orbit, time is his nemesis — for he still feels as if there has not been enough. Not the hours spent with the sun setting and you’re there by his side, when he’d spent more time committing the wonder at such a simple thing to his memory. Not the darkened hours spent together surrounded by silken sheets, and all that graced his ears was a musical symphony of breathy moans as you set about learning each other’s bodies. Never were the hours spent talking in order to hear the passion in your voice when speaking about something that interests you enough for him.

“ You can’t do this. “ You whimper softly, almost looking through the man you hold close. “ You can’t come into someone’s life, you can’t make them care about you and leave just because you want to. What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to sit by and let you do this? “

He says nothing, leaving space for a groan of pain to leave his lips as he tips his head back. He’s met with a darkened blanket where millions of stars are scattered so ungracefully, yet do not collide an uncoordinated dance across the sky. Uncertainty overwhelms him, over that is causing more pain — the wounds or the grief in your every word.

“ Just get the fuck outta here already. “ His voice echoes across the large space as he turns his attention back to you.

“ Were you lying all that time? “ You ask with a trembling lip at the thought of being without.

It feels like an endless amount of early mornings had been spent planning and chattering about the most random things. Your mind lighting up with the power of a thousand suns before the world had awoken around you. You can’t pinpoint the moment it happened, but the two of you awoke a little earlier than necessary to bathe in the image of the other — to forge a most perfect illusion of normalcy before stepping out into the real world. Mornings were not your most happiest bedfellow, yet you’d grown to love them just a little more when waking to the most simplest treat to sweeten your tongue.

“ What ya on about? “

“ All that time when we were talking, about what we were going to do? What we could do? ”

“ Why ya going on about that ? “ He asks curiously, eyeing you as you speak.

“ If you die, how are we meant to do any of it? “ Your words are rushed as you question him plainly.

“ Yer gonna .. just won’t be with me. “ Colour from the world feels as if it’s fading, merging into one bland monochrome depiction of a bright, bubbling city.

“ Can you stop?! “ A frustrated shriek tears from the bottom of your throat in response. “ I’m done talking in circles, I’m not dying here and neither are you. If I have to, I will drag you out with me. “

The world pauses in shock for a quiet fraction of a minute. To be spoken to in such a manner is not something Ryuji has experienced much in his life, even rarer by you — words that fell from your lips are always bathed in the sweetness of sugar, not an ounce of poison to anyone. Even the individuals who drew your temper out of its sleep were met with an incredible amount of restraint, he can hear the desperation — acting as a bucket of ice water to shock his nerve endings from the low temperature.

“ You did what you had to do. It wasn’t meant to be, but you can find another purpose. Build something else with your life, just.. Just come with me. Please. “

To be responsible for dragging you down with him, away from providing the world with your bright rays of sunshine in the bland day to day lives of everyone you came into contact with weighs heavily on his chest. Extra time spent with you, perhaps getting to know who his little sister has become are the treats tied onto a stick in front of him, life’s cruel bribe. He’d imagined how his ending would have been sketched by above, yet to have ties keeping him there had not been what he would have included. If he couldn’t be the one dragon, this would be a consolation prize that would allow for the petals of peace to bloom before he’d tear them down once more.

A strength he’d thought abandoned him glows with a dull hue, for a minute, he contemplates using that for Kiryu. Yet the other half of his soul wins the battle, a hand of his reaches out to push himself off from the concrete. It’s not an easy feat after being battered more than once, yet it’s not half as arduous as it could be with you supporting his weight — he’s fully aware how much of your strength he is using from your audible gasps of air.

“ Ya don’t gotta yell at me. “ he complains softly as he grips his side with as much force as he can dedicate to.

“ I don’t think it’s the time for this. “ You argue back quickly.

“ The red one. “

“ Huh? “ The sound escapes you as your features turn into a frown over how to get away from the ticking time bomb fast enough.

“ The lift, to get down. Press th’red one. “ He instructs you with a finger barely lifted, pointing in the direction of the button behind you.

You say nothing in response, the wheels in your mind working faster than your body as it moves purely on an instinctive reaction when receiving messages from your brain. Your stomach twists and turns from the descent to below, unable to process the way the city shifts into a state of obscurity from the swift movement. It would be a beautiful sight if it hadn’t attached a violent night as a parting gift.

“ You really scared me up there. “ You confess with barely a whisper. “ Can you promise me something? “

“ What’s that? “

“ That you won’t do something like this again. “ You say, with your heart hoping that he’d shy away from an impossible task should it present itself. Your eyes had seen enough hurt for one night, you’re confident you’d not be able to withstand it once more.

“ Wish I could. “

Teeth grind against the bottom of your lip, you should have known that he wouldn’t. Yet you also cannot find the strength to tear yourself away from the fire that burns within him, like a moth to a flame, you find yourself wondering how close you can stand against the heat before you flee from the pain it brings.

#Ryuji Goda x reader #Goda Ryuji x reader #Yakuza imagine #Yakuza fic #if this looks like it has been written in parts between the hours of 9 pm - 12 am #because it has #inspiration comes late

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karlajoyner · 4 years

Text

Stole My Heart Part 2 (Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys! I know it’s short and I could have definitely gone in way deeper in the smut but I just don’t know how much you guys want to read into that! So comment and let me knowww also I want to know if you guys think I should start a tag list if so let me know as well so I could put you down for it! And finally send in some requests!!!

Warnings: Somewhat Sexual (16+)

————

"You can't be serious Jules" I spoke sitting up from my spot besides Jeremy.

"Do you know how much trouble I'll get into if I get caught?"

"I told you guys she wouldn't do it" Owen said standing up from his spot.

"But no one ever listens to me"

"Come on y/c/n! Julie and the Phantoms needs a manager for the night. Someone to talk business read over the contracts were probably gonna get offered tonight. We need you there" Charlie pleaded standing on the coffee table.

"What about Flynn? Her parents won't kill her for going out on a school night"

"Flynn doesn't know a thing about contracts you took college classes on business"

"Because I had to. I'm just as much of a high schooler as you Jules. I don't understand a thing"

"Says the girl with a 4.5 gpa. I didn't even know the numbers got that high"

"Because your gpa was 2.1" Owen spoke in a sarcastic tone earning a glare from Charlie.

"Look y/c/n you don't have to do it if you don't want to" Jer said taking my hands in his.

"All we're saying is if you did this. For the sake of the band, we'd really appreciate it. You know this is a big night for Julie and the Phantoms. The band. Your boyfriends in might I add" Jeremy spoke giving me puppy dog eyes. I turned to the side noting everyone with hopeful looks in their eyes.

"Seriously? You send in Reggie when all else fails?" I asked.

"Depends. Did it work?" Owen asked figgeting with his fingers. I sighed watching their faces deflate in defeat waiting for the no.

"I-I don't know how I'm gonna sneak out on a school night but I'll be there" I spoke watching my cast mates faces light up as they all jumped up in happiness.

"Yes!" Madison yelled jumping up to come hug me.

"I owe you big time"

"You're my best friend Jules. I'd do anything for you. You know that"

"But you did this for me too right" Jeremy asked extending his arms out for me.

"Of course Reggie. You know I can't resist those puppy dog eyes" I spoke walking into his hug. I smiled as I felt him place a kiss to my forehead.

A worried look plastered itself on my face as we pulled away. Quickly uplifting myself I turned back to the rest of the group. Owen and Charlie dancing happily.

"Julie and the Phantoms is so getting signed tonight! And it's all thanks to you y/c/n!" Charlie yelled high fiving Owen.

"Cut!" Kenny yelled.

A smile forming on my face as we all were able to break character.

"Come on babe we need to disinfect you" Owen said jokingly wiping away the spot Jeremy had kissed making everyone laugh out loud.

"Hey! Be lucky I didn't aim for the lips Joyner"

"There right here Jer!" Owen yelled puckering his own lips making me burst out in laughter as his arms wrapped around my waist.

I waited for everyone to disperse for lunch before turning to look up at my boyfriend who already had his eyes on me.

"Hey you"

"Hey you" He repeated smiling at me.

"Your a dork you know that?"

"And your hot. You know something about you acting just-"

"Turns you on?" I giggled feeling something poking at my leg.

"Seriously Owen it's like 12:00 o'clock in the morning and your horny"

"Have you seen yourself? Look it's lunch and no ones in Julie's room. We'll be quick" He whispered placing a kiss behind my ear.

"Seriously?" I whispered yelled.

"Come on baby please. I need you so bad right now" Owen said pulling me closer of it was even possible. I slightly groaned feeling his hard on press deeper into my thigh.

"What if we get caught?" I asked looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to us.

"We won't" He insisted.

"What is it with you and that set?" I asked dragging him towards the house making sure not to look suspicious.

"Maybe it's cause I never got to screw you in it" He whispered in my ear as we entered it.

Quietness filling the air. We hurriedly rushed upstairs knowing we didn't have a lot of time before people questioned where we were.

"Owen" I moaned as he pushed me up against the door not even waiting until we were inside to attack my neck.

"Mmm" He mumbled against my skin. Fumbling with the door knob behind me.

As soon as it was opened he hoisted me off the floor walking into the room. I began to nip at his neck knowing Sonya was gonna have a field day with him for the one.

"Really babe? A hickey" He panted shutting the door behind him with his foot.

"It's called payback" I said before he tossed me onto the bed immediately removing his shirt.

"In a rush?" I asked biting my lip.

"We don't have time for foreplay baby" He said tugging on my shirt as well. I sighed realizing he was right. He was quick to remove the his jeans and boxers not wasting any time.

Making sure to be as quiet as possible was a task when we could be caught at any moment. But it was definitely worth it.

We walked out of the house trying to not look suspicious. Realizing a few people had already begun returning to set for the next scene.

"Y/n!" I heard a familiar voice.

"Jadah!" I smiled at the young girl who ran up to hug me.

"Hey Owen" She said as she pulled away.

"Hi" He said waving slightly.

"Sacha told me I'd probably find you two together. I was wondering if we could run some lines together later. You know for our scene"

"Of course" I smiled.

"Hey guys" Charlie said walking up with Jeremy by his side.

"Woah guys you look rough" Jeremy spoke towards us.

"Yeah I think you should head back to hair and makeup before the next scene" Jadah commented as well.

My eyes widened really in taking Owens look. His hair was tousled, he looked like he was glistening under bright lights, and he just appeared completely disheveled.

As soon as Charlie noticed my face realization hit him.

"Don't" I muttered pointing out that Jadah was here and it was not the time.

"Don't what?" The girl asked.

"Nothing, nothing"

"It's obviously something. I know you'll tell me later so I'm just gonna go find mads" She smiled before skipping away. As soon as she was out of earshot I heard Charlie begin to laugh.

"Seriously?" He asked earning a confused look from Jeremy and Owen.

"What?" Jer asked.

"You can't tell dude? Look at them" Charlie spoke pointing towards us.

Jeremy took a step back taking in our appearance as my cheeks began to burn.

"Where?" He asked once he realized what had happened.

"You don't wanna know"

"Why not?"

"Because we still have a few more scenes to film in there" I spoke as Owen wrapped an arm around my waist.

"How'd you get her to do it?" Charlie asked the blonde who just smirked.

"It didn't take a lot of convincing"

"Owen" I scolded him.

"Sorry" He said sheepishly.

"Geez guys you just couldn't wait til later when we're not in the middle of filming"

"We were on a break" As soon as Owen said that Kenny came up to us breaking our conversation.

"Hey guys. So were shooting the skate scene next. We need a new board replacement for Julie's bedframe. The old one broke somehow so I'll see you boys in a bit" Kenny spoke before leaving.

My eyes widened along with Owens. Knowing Charlie and Jeremy were never gonna let us live this down.

#owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #madison reyes #charlie gillespie #luke patterson #jeremy shada #reggie jatp #alex jatp #luke jatp

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hunnyuwu · 4 years

Text

My Baby Don’t Like It || NCT Jaehyun+Mark [part I]

Premise: What went wrong along the way? After everything we had been through, you still chose to leave me?

Pairings : Dad! Jaehyun x fem! reader x Friend! Mark

WC: 2.1 K

Warnings: explicit language, some extreme fluff

Part I || Part II || Part III

"Hey baby! How are you today?" You were crouched down on your knees, shooting a silly smile as the most adorable four year old in the world ran straight into your outstretched arms, worming his way into the crevasse of your neck. You cooed into the kid’s ear, happy to see the boy happy and healthy. He withdrew from his squirmy snuggles to plant his tiny, moist lips on your soft cheek as his little greeting to his beloved Noona.

"I'm happy to see you, Noona!" A smile lit up his round, chubby features before he nuzzled back into the crevasse of your neck. You rubbed the top of his head a few times, messing up his short black locks, before getting up so that you were finally standing at your own height.

"Thanks for looking after him today, Y/N."

Your heart beat slowed down to a steady, rhythmic pace immediately. The slow, heavy thrumming taunted you as it rattled in your within the hollow shells of your ears. You interlocked hands with the small boy beside you before lifting your chin to see the person before you.

A gentle smile blossomed over your lips, a wave of calm washing over your body as you examined the familiar face before you, "Of course, Jaehyun."

"Remember Y/N, I changed my name." Jaehyun gave you a teasing jab, a dumb grin occupying his eyes. You flinched a little backwards, knives stabbing your poor heart as memories flashed at the forefront of your mind.

‘Yeah, but you changed it for her.’

"A-Ah, right! Sorry, have a good day, Yoon-Oh."

You released a breath that were holding for a little while as you saw Jaehyun hop into the driver's seat of an extremely expensive, luxury car. The flashy woman in the passenger seat threw an overstated air kiss to the little boy beside you, glancing your way soon after. A scowl replaced the smile you were holding onto desperately as she simply smirked with triumph. Your free hand curled into a tight fist as you watched the car whiz away, to the point that your knuckles turned white and your nails threatened to puncture the flesh of your palm.

She removed Jaehyun from your life,

And he allowed it to happen.

You and Jaehyun had known one another since primary school. On a bitter, cold day in the autumn of your second year, Jaehyun nervously approached your lunch table to ask if he could sit with your group, which you guys obviously said yes. While the friends you had in that group all eventually slipped away from your life through your years of schooling, Jaehyun and you had managed to maintain a close friendship. The close bond and chemistry the two of you had was undeniable to the public and private eye. Everyone thought the two of you would eventually get married, which you didn't mind them thinking in the slightest. Jaehyun had always thought the same too, even though there was no official romance. Just adoring looks, sweet gestures, lovely memories, and tense atmospheres.

In university, you finally confirmed your feelings for him, ready for that next step with him. You finally realized that he was your destiny, and you thought you were his as well.

Next thing you knew, Jaehyun found a girl from his economics class and the rest is history. They had an accidental child early on in their whirlwind romance, the one you were currently watching playing with stackable plastic blocks. Anger boiled your blood... you still loved Jaehyun to the depths of your heart, to the point that you regularly questioned whether you would ever be able to move on, but you couldn't understand how dense he was when it came to his girlfriend: Jimin.

Jimin wasn't your average, plain Jane college gal. She was simply receiving a business degree for the sake of having the piece of paper that she didn’t even work for. Jimin had her daddy's money and company waiting for her once she deemed herself ready for the role. When Jimin set her eyes on Jaehyun the very first class of economics, it was game over for anything between you two. Jimin made it her mission to claim Jaehyun as her own personal property, in other words her personal boy toy, basically making it her life’s mission to rid of you in his life. Or as she specifically explain it, 'spending quality time with boyfie while they were young.' You saw through her sugary sweet act from the moment you laid eyes on her when Jaehyun introduced the two fo you.

She was a brat, a snob, a snake, and any description with negative connotation that you could think of. You hissed as you remembered that the woman even convinced him that 'Yoon-Oh' was a more handsome name than Jaehyun. ‘How could he be so under her spell to not see the sort of shit she puts him through?’ You wondered.

‘The least she could be is a sweet, decent person to make Jaehyun happy in life.’

That would have satisfied you, but in the end, you knew that people never really get what they want. You were left high and dry while a snobby rich whisked Jaehyun away like he was never there to begin with. And the fact that the woman barely paid any attention to her child made you absolutely sick to your stomach. Hot tears pricked at your eyes as you watched the innocent boy giggle as he was currently in the midst of building a little block boat.

‘Taking random selfies with your extremely adorable child for your dumb Instagram page does NOT count as parenting, Jimin.’

As you reminisced on all of the times that you had to deal with Jimin's endless childishness and her possessiveness over Jaehyun, you felt a little tug at your sleeve. You smiled tearily as you saw one thing that significantly brightened up your bleak life.

"Noona?"

"Yes, Baby?"

"Why do you look so sad today?"

Your heart constricted like someone was squeezing it tightly, already feeling regret as you had been too absorbed in your own thoughts to give him your full attention. You didn't have an early education degree for nothing.

"Ah, just little things, Baby. Don't worry about it."

"But I don't want Noona to be sad! We should get you ice cream like you do when I get a boo boo!" Jaehyun's son, Jeno, happily suggested, probably just wanting to eat some ice cream himself. You were put into a bout of laughter as you lovingly looked at Jeno get up to 'go get you some ice cream to fix your inside boo boo.'

You complied as you simply couldn't ever say no to the precious boy, so you were on your way out to the local grocery store near your house, which you hadn't gone to in awhile. You peered down to the eye smile prince himself who was happily skipping alongside you, his tiny hand wrapped around the middle three fingers of your hand, a gesture that you you screaming in an internal maternal mess.

Jimin and Jaehyun have been so neglecting of this poor child lately, always going out on day long dates and luxurious overseas trips, obviously as per Jimin's request.

You had to say, you were extremely disappointed at Jaehyun for forgetting his caring, sweet roots. The child you were currently leading into a small grocery store was basically your own, you were more of a mother to him than Jimin could ever be.

"Hey, Y/N!"

You looked around to see who called out your name when you spotted a familiar face, causing you to stumble back with pleasant surprise.

"Oh hey, Mark! I didn't know you worked here! Master's degree yet?" You led little Jeno over to the cash register to greet him, gushing over seeing the adorable guy once again. You knew Mark when you were a senior in college, him being a spry sophomore at the time. While he was a music major and you were an early education major, you two fatefully ended up in the same science requirement classes, leading to a beautiful, supportive relationship to blossom between the two of you. You hadn't been able to see him as of late as you were busy with your job.

"Yeah, I’m here part time. Needed some money so I can pay off my college debt as I'm looking for a gig at the moment. But anyways, uhhh, y-you look beautiful as ever, Y/N. Is he your child?" You blushed at his compliment while looking down at little Jeno who Mark was gesturing to gently. Jeno was shooting Mark a suspicious glare causing you to giggle as you dropped a hand to pat his head.

"No, this is Jeno, Jaehyun's son. I regularly babysit him."

Mark gave you a confused look, something wasn't adding up for him.

"You and Jaehyun aren't together?"

You were taken aback at his lack of knowledge. You even told him about Jaehyun's girlfriend a long time ago, but it seems like he didn't remember. Besides, you and Jaehyun were very, very not together.

As you were about to explain, Jeno took the spotlight.

"Daddy should date my Noona! She's a lot better-"

"Shh, you shouldn't say stuff like that, Jeno." You cooed to comfort the pouting kid as you hoisted him up onto your waist to rock him a little. He was getting a little heavy for this, but you didn't mind throwing your back out for him.

Mark laughed to himself, throwing a loving gaze your way as you and Jeno bickered for a little. His insides turned to goop as he fell down the tempting rabbit hole once again.

"Well, if you're not with anyone right now... c-could I ask to maybe take you out on a date sometime?"

You abruptly paused your conversation with Jeno to whip your head to the blushing male. A little blush to match his crept up to your cheeks as you reeled over what he just said in your mind like a broken cassette.

"You want to... go out with me?" You whispered with a tilt of your head, needing a firm confirmation from him before you let your mind start playing tricks on itself.

"Yeah, if that's fine with you." Mark restated, biting down on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer.

Thoughts of Jaehyun’s beautiful, warm smile plagued your mind like a disease; you were still very much in love with him. Even if his actions gave you a whole list as to why you should give his ass up in a heartbeat.

You looked back into Mark's eyes, finally making up your mind.

"I'd love to, Mark."

"Really?" He choked out, already expecting a rejection coming his way. You were oblivious to it, but Mark had the largest crush on you ever since you became partners for your science class. Whenever he even thought of asking you out, he remembered how close you were to Jaehyun, so he always chickened out.

This was finally his chance.

"Yeah, of course I would." You said sheepishly.

"But what about Daddy?"

You looked back to Jeno who was inches away from your face with round, glassy eyes. You sighed as you gave his cheek a quick little peck.

"Your Daddy is happy with your Mommy, Jeno. Don't worry, you will always be the number one man in my heart, okay? We will have a bunch more playdates!"

Mark watched as you comforted Jeno, feeling his heart thump violently against his ribcage. He knew you were the one for him, and he truly pitied Jaehyun, for he couldn't even see the true beauty that was sitting in front of him for so many years. Mark prayed above, thoroughly thanking fate to bring you to him today.

"Excuse me, but are you checking out right now?" An elderly woman appeared behind you with a harsh glare, a sharp tongue to match her tapping foot. You bowed quickly, not too much so that Jeno wouldn’t fall off, muttering small apologies as you moved out of the way.

"You better give me a discount for the ice cream, Mark!" You yelled as you walked away with Jeno over to the ice cream freezer. Mark gave you a cute little smile before diving back into scanning the items that that woman gave to him. Though it has been hard in your journey to give up on Jaehyun, there may be just as amazing men that would be better for you out there. You sighed out happily, maybe things were going to improve for you in the future.

~~~

Part I || Part II || Part III

This mini fic is the result of when I learned that Jaehyun said he would have basically been a teenage dad if he wasn't an idol 👁👄👁

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nastasyafilippovnas · 3 years

Note

40 and 45 for santhony :)

I did the 40 one. If I do the other, I'll tag you. I hope you like it!

santhony + exes meeting again after years AU, post-canon, wc. 2.1 (ao3)

Siena wouldn’t lie, over the years she had imagined many scenarios for meeting Anthony again. He would attend one of her performances, she would spot him among the crowd and miss the next note, making the audience gasp collectively. Or they would cross paths down the street, with her coming out of Genevieve’s shop and him coming in with his mother and sisters. They would freeze for a moment, caught in each other’s eyes, then she would run as fast as she could in the other direction. Or maybe, just maybe, she would finally attend one of Anthony’s balls, in the arms of another gentleman, and he would stare helplessly at her as she waltzed the night away.

But soon a year passed and they didn’t meet each other once. She left for France with her new protector and, shortly after, Genevieve wrote to inform that, just in case she was wondering, the Viscount Bridgerton had finally married. Genevieve enclosed a sketch of the wedding gown she had designed for the bride. Siena understood her friend’s message loud and clear. It wasn’t cruelty. It was simply time to let go.

Of course, as much as she told herself that, her heart wasn’t as easily convinced. And sometimes, in the dark of night, she still indulged in fantasies and dreams. He would come to France on business and their paths would cross at a Parisian café. Or his wife would die of consumption and he would finally come running back to her. This one left her so horrified at her own selfishness that she found herself back in church, lightening a candle and praying for the Viscountess’ health.

Then time passed, as time ought to. Ten years went by in the blink of an eye. She went from Paris to Vienna to Milan. From Le Théâtre National to the Theater in der Leopoldstadt to La Scala. She was famous all over continental Europe. She was adored. And she had accepted that Anthony belonged to her past. She would remember their time together fondly, instead of tormenting herself with what ifs and regrets.

And now, here he was, hat in hand, standing at the door to her grandmother’s house, in the Tuscan town that carried the same name as she did, twelve years after they had parted ways. Older, yes, with some gray hairs and rug lines that the boy she had known didn’t possess, but equally handsome.

Siena couldn’t hide her astonishment as she openly stared at him, without knowing what to do.

“What…what are you doing here?”

“I stopped by the theatre first.” He answered simply, as if it was the most common thing. As if they had an appointment to meet for tea she had forgotten about and now he came to remind her. “Signore Maldini told me you were here.”

Siena bet he did. Signore Maldini, who managed the day-to-day affairs of the Milanese theatre, was the biggest gossiper she knew. He must have been delighted to tell Anthony where she was staying. And by now, the whole cast of La Scala - and probably half of Milan - already knew that some English gentleman had come looking for her.

“He mentioned you were sick.” He kept moving the hat in his hands in worry. “Are you feeling better?”

“It was just a cold that wouldn’t leave.” It had been a bit more than that. It had kept her from performing. Siena had remembered how scared she had felt when week after week went by and she couldn’t sing an aria without having a coughing fit. “The doctor recommended a change of airs and warmer climate.”

Anthony nodded, but the worry still clouded his eyes and she didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand any of it.

“My lord, why are you here?”

“Do you think I could come in?” Anthony asked and Siena noticed then they were in the same position as when they had last seen each other. Her at the door, and him in her steps. All that was missing was the other man. “That is, if you don’t…”

Siena stepped aside, showing him inside. “I’m sorry for my manners. I guess I was a bit surprised.”

“It’s understandable. Is this your house?” He looked around the place curiously.

Siena supposed that compared to his usual lodgings, it wasn’t much. The house was a good size, and it even had two floors, but it was in desperately need of repairs. The living room only had one couch, a writing desk and a chair on one side and the fireplace occupying the other side. At least she had fixed the leaking in the roof before Anthony arrived. She would’ve been mortified if he had seen that.

“It's my grandmother’s. Well, it’s mine now. She died last year and left it for me.”

Despite all the conditions, Siena had never been more relieved to have this place than when she had gotten sick. Leaking or not, it ensured she at least had a roof over her head and, with the money she had saved over the years, it was enough to live comfortably for some time. And although the house was far from the city center, which meant long walks to the market whenever needed, it also had a huge backyard and a great view of the Tuscan hills which had done wonders, if not for her health, at least for her soul.

“I'm sorry for your loss.”

Siena shrugged her shoulders. “It's okay.”

“Siena…”

They were still standing on the living room, she realized now. And whatever Anthony had to say, she didn’t want him to say it here.

“Come.” She said, already walking from the living room to the kitchen and taking the tea set she had left there for her afternoon tea and adding another cup to the tray. “We can sit on the patio and you can say whatever you have to say there.”

Anthony nodded and moved to follow her.

Siena opened the garden doors and felt some of the excitement over Anthony’s arrival leaving her, the calmness she had grown used to here returning to her. This was her favorite place in the house, probably in the city. The patio had a set of iron chairs and a table where to she directed Anthony and set their tea. It was spring and the whole backyard was blooming with flowers she had tended to herself. It filled her with pride to know she had turned the garden around all on her own, and maybe she wasn’t creating art, but at least she could help nature give and nurture life.

From their seats at the patio, they could also see part of the road and some of the Tuscan hills so many painters had tried and failed to capture the beauty of.

“It's beautiful here.” Anthony said in amazement.

“I know,” she answered, smiling. “I’ve been here for six months and it still takes my breath away every time.”

“Thank you for bringing me back here.”

She poured the tea for them. It was one of the few English habits she still kept, drinking a cup of tea while watching the Tuscan sunset, though she hardly ever had any company.

“You're welcome. Now…why are you here, Anthony?”

During all the time they spent together, she hardly ever used his name. But, after so many years, and inside her own idilic corner of the world, she felt she was finally allowed to.

Anthony let out a small chuckle, “I guess the scandals of the ton don’t make their way to little corners of heaven in Italy.”

“I'm afraid we don’t yet receive Lady Whistledown’s papers, no.” She said and, because she also worried about him, added, “Is everything okay? Is the Viscountess well?”

Anthony smile grew bigger at her question and he laughed. “The Viscountess is very well. She is currently enjoying herself to our country house with her lover. Female lover.”

“Oh.” That was certainly unexpected. Siena snorted. “I'm sorry. I’m sure that must have been most distressing for you.”

“Not as much as it should’ve been.” He answered seriously, staring directly at her.

Siena bit her lip and turned away from him, looking at the garden. “I see.” She paused and took a sip from her tea. “Are there any kids?”

The last news she had from Anthony were of his marriage on Genevieve’s letter. Afterwards, she never asked and, if she knew of anything, her friend never mentioned it.

“No. None.”

The answer didn’t shock her as much as how unbothered he seemed by it. That had always seemed so important when they were together, to have an heir. It had been his duty, after all.

“You could always get an annulment and marry again.”

When he didn’t offer any reply, Siena looked back at him. “But you won’t.”

Anthony sighed and drank his tea before answering it. “It seems…unkind to separate the Viscountess and the woman she loves, doesn’t it? Why should they suffer for being in love?”

She smiled softly. Anthony Bridgerton. She had always known he was a hopeless romantic.

“And the title?”

Anthony shrugged. “Benedict has two boys and so does Colin. It shall pass to one of them upon my death. Though, hopefully, a long time from now.”

“You seem to have made your peace with it.” It amazed her he wasn’t right now back in England attempting to perform his duties to perfection.

“Did you know I had never left England before?” Siena shook her head, though it didn’t come exactly as a surprise. She had travelled all over Europe like a gipsy, but he had stayed, strong and steady, since becoming head of the family at twenty. “Simon left to see the world and so did Colin. But I stayed. I never even considered leaving, except…”

He paused and looked away from her as both of them remembered the one time he was talking about. He didn’t finish that sentence, he didn’t need to.

“When the rumors started, the Viscountess left for the country and I didn’t see the point of staying in London, hearing the catty comments about my failed marriage.”

Siena nodded in understanding.

“You should know,” he continued, “I didn’t set out to see you.”

“Is that so?” She didn’t know if she should feel offended or not at that when he ended up at her door all the same.

“I went to Spain first. Not Italy. Not France.” The no country that would’ve reminded me of you was implied, but she understood it.

“That's a beautiful country too. I performed there for the King once.”

“Of course you did.” He smiled fondly at her. “So, I was walking down the streets in Barcelona one day, seeing all these marvelous things around me, and I realized there was only person I wanted to share that experience with. One person I wanted by my side. The same person I have always wanted. And I was wasting my time. I was letting my injured pride and my fear of another rejection prevent me from pursuing her.”

He looked directly into her eyes through the whole speech. After all this time. It was preposterous and fantastical and her heart was beating so fast it felt like it would leave her chest.

He raised his hand to her face and caressed it softly, tracing the contours of her lips and her chin just like he used to do. Siena closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of his fingers on her skin once more.

“Then you went to Milan?” She asked.

“No.” He answered with a little laugh and she opened her eyes. “As far as I knew, you were in Paris. So I went there. Then to Vienna. And finally to Milan. Every place I went, you had already left. It figures I would have to come to your city to find you.”

He grabbed her hands into his and dropped a kiss on top of it. She could hardly believe what was happening.

He had gone through quite the journey. For her. Back to her.

“I don’t know if I can sing anymore.” She blurted out before she could stop herself.

“What are you talking about?” Anthony looked back at her in confusion but didn’t drop her hands.

“Ever since I got sick, I can’t… The coughing was too bad. I’m better now, but… I’m afraid of trying and not being able.” It felt good to finally confess her feelings to someone. “And, to be honest, I don’t know if I want to go back. I miss singing but I don’t miss the stage.”

He kept caressing her hands through her confession, providing her support.

“You should do whatever makes you the happiest.” He said simply.

Siena got up from her chair and sat on his lap. Her hands on both sides of his face, looking directly into his eyes as she asked, “And you?”

“That’s also up to you. I will stay for as long as you will have me.”

Forever, Siena thought. Then she kissed him, again and again.

send me a ship + a number from this list and i'll write a short story

#truegodofthearena #answered asks #santhony #anthony x siena #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #siena rosso #my fics

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fantasiesandbooks · 3 years

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Hello I'm glad you're ok I'm your fan 😄sorry my messaged I sent to you is incomplete can I request a Christmas scenario with Chanyeol wherein you're best friends with him and you secretly likes each other and then whenz you make snowman together and it leads to confessing your feelings to one another. Thank you and have a good day! Advance Merry Xmas!

Hello lovely reader! Thank you for being my fan. I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year :). Hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think of it.

Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Romance. Kind of fluff

Word Count: 2.1 k

It was Friday night. The snow started to fall this morning and you were excited because you will get to continue with yours and Chanyeol’s tradition.

It has passed a couple of years now but you still remembered how it begun.

You didn’t have a lot time living in Korea when the two of you became friends. Winter was approaching and with it the snow.

“I’m so excited” You told him while you two were in his car, heading to the boys’ dorms.

“Why is that?” Chanyeol gave you a quick glance and return his eyes on the road.

“According to the weather app, it will snow tomorrow” You said cheerfully.

“And that’s exciting why?” He arched an eyebrow at you. He couldn’t understand why you were giving it a lot of importance.

“It will be the first time I get to see snow” You said.

Chanyeol looked at you incredulously “You are messing with me”.

You laughed at the face he made. “I am not”.

“So you are telling me that you have never ride a slide on the snow or make an angel on the floor?.” Chanyeol said as he parked the car and both of you were heading to the elevator. “Make a snowman?”

“Nope” You answered.

Chanyeol couldn’t fathom the idea of that and he found curious how he had never questioned himself about in which places don’t snow during winter. “What a sad childhood you must have had” The tall boy said to you.

You looked at him annoyed “Let me tell you it was a very happy one”. He laughed when you pursed your lips. One of his favorite things was to bother you.

“Anyway, I’m excited about it and that’s all that matters to me”. You said.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Chanyeol said.

“I will stay at home after work.” You said nonchalantly “Maybe I will go out and play at the park we have next to the building”.

After hearing what you said, you gazed at Chanyeol in concern.

“Will that be weird?” You asked him seriously “Me playing on the park”.

“Not at all... If you want to be the creepy lady on the park”. He told you mockingly.

“Then what can I do?” You asked him “I want to do that without people thinking I’m weird”.

“I can go with you” Chanyeol offered.

You raised a brow at him. “Really? The guy that has been mocking me wants to do that?”

At seeing your face he cleared his throat and looked at his hands. “I’m trying to be a supportive friend here. But if you don’t want me to I...”

“Is 6 pm good for you?” You asked him.

He looked at you and the corner of his mouth turned up. “Yes. I’ll see you at that time”.

“Ok” You were trying to hide your smile but he caught you and smiled too. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were putting on your scarf and gloves when the doorbell rang. You looked through the peephole and saw your friend waiting for you to open the door.

“Hey Chan!” You smiled at him.

“Hi!” He tucked his hands in his pockets. “Are you ready?”.

“Yes” you said cheerfully. “Oh wait! Just give me a second. Let me go grabbed something”. You said and trotted to your kitchen. He was looking around when a few seconds later you returned with a bag.

“Ok, we can go now”. You said and closed the door.

“What’s that for?” He gestured at the bag.

“I got a few things that we can use to decorate the snowman”. You opened the bag and showed him.

“There’s a scarf, a hat, buttons and a carrot for the nose” Your eyes sparkled from excitement.

Chanyeol smiled and shook his head in amusement. It’s like hanging out with a little girl he thought. He put his hands over his mouth and released a breath in order to to warmed them.

“You didn’t brought gloves?” You asked him when you saw him do that.

“I forgot them in the living room” He said.

You rummaged through the bag and found a pair. “Here” You said and slapped his arm gently with them.

Chanyeol got startled but took them nevertheless. He looked at you surprised. “They were my brother’s” You said nonchalantly “I was planning to use them for the snowman but you can use them”.

“Thanks” He said shyly.

Once in the park, there were a few children playing around. Some were running and throwing snowballs, other making snow angels and snowmans just as you two. You noticed that aside from the kids’ parents, you and Chanyeol were the only doing that kind of activities.

“Ok. I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling a little bit uncomfortable doing this while the kids stare at us as if we were crazy” You murmured him, looking at the weirded-out faces some kids and grown up people passing by made at you. “Maybe we should had brought a kid with us. That way people wouldn’t stare at us like they are doing now”.

“What are you talking about? I brought one with me” He said jokingly and you pushed him playfully, making him falling in the snow next to you.

He laughed and you rolled your eyes. Chanyeol lifted himself up and dust off the snow he had on his pants and focused his attention back the snowman. “Are you enjoying it? Doing this I mean.” He said quizzically.

“Yes” you answered.

“Then don’t mind what others think of it” He gazed at you and smiled. You couldn’t help but smiled back.

“What about you? Do you think is silly?” You asked him as you were sculpting the head and Chanyeol the low part of the doll.

“No. I just don’t do it anymore. I have been so caught up with work during this time these past few years that I can’t get to really enjoy the season...or the weather”. He explained.

That was true. Every year he had been so busy with concerts, rehearsals and TV shows that he had barely acknowledged the changing of the seasons only because the weather gets colder.

After and hour or so, the two finished building the snowman. Both of you sighed at looking your masterpiece completed.

“Madame. Would you do the honors?” He told you and offered you scarf tha was going to adorned the snowman’s neck.

“Thank you” You said and went to put it over it.

“Oh! It looks so pretty” You said excitedly.

“Let me take a picture of it”. You said and look for the right angle to take the picture.

“Thank you!” Chanyeol said, standing next to you.

“For what?” You said without looking at him.

“I guess seeing you all happy and excited made me remember the old times and regained my excitement for this things” Chanyeol said.

You stared at him and smiled. “You are very much welcome my friend”.

He chuckled at seeing your face full with satisfaction.

“Maybe we should make this a tradition” You said thoughtfully.

“Maybe we should” He said happily.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I think I am done” You sighed as you were standing up from you squat position.

“Oh Goodness! Did you hear that? My knees just cracked”.

“Well, it’s normal since you’re getting old” Chanyeol told you.

“Shut up!” You slapped his stomach, covered with three layers of clothes. “You are older than me”.

“And yet I feel like a 17 year old boy” He said proudly.

“And you behave like that sometimes too” You joked and he pushed you slightly. You laughed at his actions.

“Ok, we are missing the scarf.” You said.

“Could you pass it to me? It’s inside the bag?”.

Chanyeol walked towards the bench where you two left your stuff. He took the bag only to realized there was nothing inside of it. “There’s nothing here” He said out loud and looked around just in case it was around the other bags.

“What?!” You said surprised “That can’t be possible. I remembered putting it with the rest of the things. I put everything on the couch...” you realized what happened and facepalmed yourself.

“I must had left it there” You said.

“It’s ok” Chanyeol said “This year isn’t going to have one”.

“But it will look so... naked” You said sadly. The two of you kept contemplating at the figure, trying to come up with an idea so it will look well decorated.

You eyes settled upon Chanyeol when an idea popped in your head.

“What if we use your scarf?” You said.

Chanyeol frowned at you “My scarf?!. No”

“Why not?” You asked him. “You have tons of them”.

“You gave this one as a present, remember?” He pointed out.

“Yes. And I can give you another one. Now hand it over to me” You said as you came closer to him and tried to take it off from him.

“No! I don’t want to” He said and grabbed your hands in order to prevent you from take it from him.

“Stopped being a baby, Chanyeol!” You struggled to get your hands out of his hold. “I’ll buy three scarfs if you want but give it to me”. You said.

“Why don’t put your scarf instead?” Chanyeol retorted.

“Because I’m cold” You said. “Besides your jacket is warmer so you won’t suffer if you take it off”.

“You don’t know that” Chanyeol huffed as he was trying to keep you away from him.

“Ok, look at it at this way...” you said “If a homeless passes by and needs it, he could take it and you will have done a good deed”.

“If you thought you could convince me with that argument, you are wrong” He said.

“Why are you being like this?” You said frustrated.

“Because you just don’t give away something that the person you like gave you that easily” He blurted out and you stopped struggling with him.

You looked at him in utterly shock as he realized what he had said.

“What did you say?” You asked him baffled.

“I... l meant” Chanyeol said nervously. Still gripping at your wrists and trying to come up with a reasonable thought.

“You said you like me” You told him “You meant as a friend, didn’t you?”.

He looked intently at you. “No” he sighed “I didn’t mean I like you as a friend. I like you

y/n”.

He released your hands and you took a step back.

“Since when?” You asked.

“A while now” He confessed.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” There was still confusion in your features.

“I was waiting for the right moment, I guess?!” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh!” You said softly and nodded as all the information was sinking in your mind. After a moment that seemed like eternity for him, he asked you “Are you not going to say anything about it?”.

You looked at him, directing his eyes to the fingers he was fumbling with.

“Me too” Your voice cracked. He seemed not to hear you right so you said it again. “Me too” you cleared your throat and his gaze landed on you.

“I like you too” You took a step closer and engulfed him in a hug.

“Really?” His shock expression changed quickly to one of happiness.

You lifted your gaze at him an nodded. He let out a relief sigh. He put his hands around you and joined his forehead with yours.

“You don’t know how happy I am right now” He said and you chuckled.

“I can have an idea” You said amusingly.

He laughed at your response.

“So now our tradition has turn into a date?” You asked him.

“Lets keep our tradition as what it is” Chanyeol said “But do you have time for a date after this?”.

“I have plenty of it” You smiled and intertwined your arm with his as both started walking across the place, getting lost between the snowy path and leafless trees.

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theories-by-majority-vote · 5 years

Text

Why Sou's win rate was 0.0%

First to start off: let's discuss the purpose of the first trial Sou experienced. For what reason would the organization give information this vital to a candidate? The reason for that lies in the purpose of the first trial. The death game runs on simulations and the first trial is the key to changing the entirety of the game. For starters, say Sou’s first trial had him do the key room, perhaps him having to rely on someone else to free him. Would that not change how he’d trust others? Say Sara was the one who had to play Russian roulette with two choices, just like one of victim’s first trial? How would that change the game? Simply put, it would change the number of survivors of the game, the survivors themselves and how rest of the game might play out. The first trial is vital to how the games will go. And I do believe that the reasons everyone got the first trials that they did was not by random chance. It was purposeful that everyone experienced what they did. Back to Sou though, under the cut. Note: The analysis in this post is not excusing any of Sou’s behavior but rather giving a possible explanation of why he acted such.

In the beginning of the game we see him wary of revealing his name/ occupation. With Sara’s internal monologue, she assumes him to be timid. Gin’s dialogue commenting on Sou to get a job when he makes it out results in him looking a little distressed, which Sara interprets as this:

[Image Caption: Sara’s thought on Sou Chapter 1.1: (Looks like he’s being crushed under not only the immediate fear, but an uncertain future...)]

Sou is very clearly anxious at this part of the game, the news still incredibly fresh. I would also like to think he wanted to wait til mostly everyone introduced themselves to match his information with theirs, to seem just as innocent. After all it is revealed that in actuality that Sou is Shin and instead of being a job hopping late night convenience store worker, he’s actually self employed, perhaps as a hacker, judging by his computer skills.

In this death game, Sou recreated his identity to keep his walls up, guard up. He distrusts everyone, withheld information, used people, blackmailed people. He did everything for self preservation.

[Image Caption: Sou Speaking in Chapter 1.1: “H... Hey now, I dunno about that... You can’t trust people like that, right?”]

We don’t have data on how the games really played out, not clearly at least . We don’t know how Sou acted in the AI versions of the game, and considering that he did break the monitor with his AI, it seems like that information is deliberately left from us. But I do think it’s very different from the Sou we know in this game, considering he abandoned “himself”.

[Image Caption: Sou Speaking Second Main game Chapter 2.2: “I absolutely can’t survive this Death Game...”]

[Image Caption: Sou Speaking Second Main game Chapter 2.2: “That’s why... I had to abandon “myself"..!!”]

A term as severe as ‘abandon’ would imply there was a drastic change. So the Sou who constantly lie and withholds information, who sees everyone with distrust, isn’t really Sou. It’s natural he became intensely distrustful though, considering he thinks everyone as an enemy. To someone who’s only information is that people are killed by majority vote and his chance of survival is impossible would only consider that he is set up to be killed every time.

[Image Caption: Shin’s thoughts in his flashback: (Everyone will choose me by vote...and kill me...)]

In the first main game, we see Sou snap when everyone puts their trust in Sara. The group as a whole trusts Sara because of her behavior, of how her actions speak for her. She was the only who got them through the Russian roulette, something Sou didn’t see. From Sou’s point of view however, Sara’s trust is fake, because he saw the emails and interpreted as her being with the enemies. Of course he would think that too, considering he was attacked because of him gaining this information. Sou is no fool, but he is also blinded by preconceptions fed to him from the first trial. Sara has the highest percentage of wins after all, she must be deceiving everyone, using them, that could be what is in his mind.

[Image Caption: Sou in the first main game Chapter 1.2: “ Death is just a matter of time for you. That’s the way weaklings live!”]

This line Sou says, when he snaps, is from his anger and frustration of people not realizing that Sara is deceiving them all, because he believed that to be the case, when we the player as well as other characters have an understanding of Sara because of her actions. This reaction from Sou could be targeted at his true self too, perhaps considering it to be weak and as a result the cause of his death.

To Sou, he never survived because he was weak, too trusting, too honest. These words do not describe the current Sou at all, however. Except, we do see glimpses of his kindness in the game, particularly in chapter 2.

[Image Caption: Sara looking at Kanna in Chapter 2.1 and thinking: They’re tears... of salvation.]

He probably is very attuned to emotions and he knows what to say to help or hurt them. Hence why he was able to write something to Kanna that helped her feel free from the guilt of her sisters death. Sou has a soft spot for Kanna, because she is too honest for her own good. She is simply a child who has been hurt so much, and she trusts Sou to be good as well. I can imagine Sou cannot distrust her, nor think of this girl as an enemy. He did something to relieve her of her emotional pain. He did something of the similar extent to Sara, when he created an Ai of Joe just for her, and that final gift to her was what she needed to get past her hallucinations.

Also, one of the biggest character shifts we see in Sou is when escape is most likely, when he successfully hacks into the security system. This is when his fears of being chosen to die has faded away, because you can’t be voted to die if all the survivors simply escape the game.

[Image Caption: Sou speaking to Sara in chapter 2.2 “Ahaha..!! It worked!! It worked, Sara!!”]

Sara points out that Sou seems lively when he is working on the hacking and when he completes and successfully hacks through the security systems, he calls Sara, Sara, not Miss Sara like he usually does. He also seems genuinely happy. He also wants them all to escape *together*. He doesn’t keep this information to himself nor tries to leave ahead of everyone, and instead tells Sara that they all will go together.

Sou could easily have tricked them at this point in time, took the information to make a run for it. If he really only cared about himself he probably would have done so.

All this information on Sou’s true self is necessary to understand his 0.0% survival rate in the simulation games.

In my guess, I think the reason hes never survived the game is because he chose not to. If he died, it was not by the choices of everyone else, but his own choice. He would have acted such that in the end, everyone would have chosen him.

To elaborate on this, I do think that after the first main game, if Sou did survive, he would have done anything it took to make it so one of the people who died would be him, whether it would be by taking the sacrifice card, or convincing everyone to choose him.

Just before the second main game, we get a glimpse of this scene/memory of sorts:

[Image Caption: Sara holding a dying Shin Tsukimi with Q-taro and Mishima in the shot. No dialogue]

Sou is dying, similarly to how he was killed in the second main game. Some things to notice, is that Professor Mishima is there, implying this may be a memory from a simulation. The dialogue in this scene shows concern and worry for Sou, there is not hatred, nor any animosity or indifference to him. From this scene, its clear that he was not hated by, at the very least, the people shown here.

With as little information that we have here of the simulation games, I do find that coming to the conclusion that Sou self sacrificed himself in every game (that he survived the first trial of) to be highly plausible, especially considering his reaction to Kanna trying to self-sacrifice herself in the place of Sou.

[Image Caption: Sou in the second main game Chapter 2.2 to Kanna: “ Don’t be ridiculous, Kanna!!”]

His face is of shock and desperation. It is so incredibly clear that he cares so much about Kanna. If you do choose to kill her, he is beyond mad. He hates that someone chose to sacrifice them self for *him*. Especially someone he cares about.

[Image Caption: Sou in the Kanna’s death Scenario Chapter 2.2: I’ll kill everyone one of you who killed Kanna...!!]

When do kill Sou though, he says, “that’s fine” and accepts that Sara hates him. He accepts the decision because that’s what he wanted. He wanted it so he would die in the place of Kanna.

When it finally came to his death, he didn't curse them or hated them, and instead he accepts his fate. I think it’s at this point, when he is dying, does he realize why he didn’t survive any other time, hence why he says this:

[Image Caption: Sou dying, in Chapter 2.2: “Maybe I should’ve believed... in everyone...”]

Sou, if he had believed in everyone from the start, would only change how everyone perceived him, but not his fate, because to Sou, he could never let anyone die in his place.

To conclude this particularly long theory/analysis, I must bring back the first trial once more. Why did the organization do something like this to Shin Tsukimi? I think it went against the purpose of the game. The game about trust and distrust relies on each person’s opinion of others. And should Sou, sacrifice himself, it no longer is a game on majority vote but rather a single person’s personal decision. The organization had to change this part in Sou, and such, force him to take the drastic decision that resulted in everyone current perception of him.

Thank you everyone who made this far in this theory post!

-Bee

#Yttd #Sou Hiyori #Shin Tsukimi #Your Turn to Die #Kimi ga shine #Yttd Bee Theories #yttd spoilers

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gumnut-logic · 4 years

Text

We’ll Be Home For Christmas 5.1

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Day Five – Here on Tracy Island – Part 1 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 5.1

Author: Gumnut

20 Jun 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 3313

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos I started this fic before we saw it.

Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D

No, I haven’t forgotten about this fic, and yes, it hit the six month mark about two weeks ago. I started writing this 8 Dec 2019. I’m nearly there.

Landmark, though. It is now officially my longest Thunderbirds fic, overtaking Gentle Rain today at around 60,000 words, depending on which word processing program it is sitting in. Never expected it to be this long.

This chapter pretty much wrote itself. It is almost like a role call of the five brothers and their states of mind. So a little bit of all the bros in this. I hope you enjoy.

Many thanks to @i-am-chidorixblossom @scribbles97 and @onereyofstarlight for reading through various bits, fielding my many wibblies, and for all their wonderful support.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

Day Five: Here on Tracy Island

Virgil woke late the next morning. It was a pleasant awakening, slipping from deep sleep to doze to a peaceful warmth beneath the covers. His room was dark. Darker than his cabin on A Little Lightning and with decidedly less sway.

He lay there for a while, enjoying the lack of need to get up and do anything and the absence of pain. He had slept the sleep of the dead and was thoroughly rested. There was something to be said about sleeping in your own bed at home that no holiday anywhere could provide.

But honestly, he wasn’t one to sit and do nothing for long, his brain kicking into gear while he lay there, listing off things waiting to be done. A visit to Two to reassure himself she had been checked over and was ready should she be needed. Not that he didn’t trust his family, it was just for his own peace of mind.

He should be able to get away with it so long as he didn’t spend too much time down there.

It took him a full half an hour of random rumination to realise that it was Christmas Day.

Oh shit.

The clock said eleven am.

His family...

He sat up abruptly and was thoroughly reminded of how stupid such a move was.

Oh, for the love of...

He grunted and rolled over until his face was smothered in his pillow.

The medic in his brain listed off the reasons why he shouldn’t have done that and why he needed to be careful and, goddamnit, he was sick of this. It was only an appendix, for crying out loud.

Stupid surgery.

That could have been so much worse.

He was being a spoilt child.

He let out a breath into his pillow, its warmth wrapping around his face. Another week and he would be fine.

But now, it was eleven oh five on Christmas morning and he was holding his family up.

He clambered out of bed with minimal complaint from his body, into the shower, a shave and into his familiar red flannel, jeans and boots.

It was such a comfort to be home.

He blow-dried his hair, gelled it up and made himself presentable.

The man who stared at him from his bathroom mirror was one appendix less and a whole pile of experience more.

He hummed to himself, tasting the notes in his throat. He could feel the soft whale skin under his fingertips, hear the lap of the water, the breeze in his hair...

And the music.

His eyes were closed without permission, the imagery taking over his mind. His fingers tapped against the bathroom vanity marking out the beat and rhythm of what he was trying to say, the pictures warping into abstract and lack of understanding.

Salty and long spoken, the notes repeated.

He didn’t know how long he stood there under the bathroom light, eyes seeing another world somewhere below the ocean surface.

By the time he shook off the haze it was eleven forty-five.

Almost lunchtime.

Alan would be foaming at the bit.

He pushed himself away from the sink and killed the light. Walking carefully across his room, he shook himself, rolling his shoulders. Get it together, Virgil. Your family is waiting for you.

Out through the door, down the corridor and, screw the stairs, he was taking the elevator.

It swallowed him whole.

-o-o-o-

Gordon had been up since before the sun. It was a sign that he was home. A session in the pool brought familiarity into the equation. There was definitely a difference between swimming in the pool versus the ocean and it had nothing to do with water salinity.

The ocean was beautiful and he adored it. But the pool sported no threat, no need to monitor his surroundings beyond the presence of a mischievous brother or two, leaving him to be able to focus on his stroke and let his mind wander.

The pleasant warmth of well used muscles pulling him forward through the water, simple thought processing...and considering the last few days, there were a lot of thoughts awaiting examination.

Some he had managed while piloting A Little Lightning on the home stretch, but there were still more needing answers and tactical decisions.

Sam. Mel. Scott. John. Virgil.

As far as he knew, Scott was still planning on inviting the neighbours over today. That would place Sam within reach of the apparently resistant Virgil.

He understood where both men were coming from. Virgil needed time and Sam was just a ball of eager energy.

Gordon was stuck between the two.

Push came to shove, he would side with Virgil regardless. He had too. But he really didn’t want to be divisive. If Virgil would talk just a little, it would help not only Sam and himself, but it might assuage the ball of worried energy that was Scott.

His arms sliced through water until he reached the end of the lane, his body automatically flipping and turning into the push off surge in the opposite direction. Air, splash and his hands slicing through the water again.

Okay, he would admit that he was worried himself. At first it was just amazing. His brother could sing to whales! A breakthrough. But yesterday he witnessed exactly how spaced Virgil became when singing and everything screamed wary. Humpback whales were beautiful creatures, but so big and so possibly unintentionally dangerous.

He couldn’t let Virgil anywhere near a whale alone. It just wasn’t safe. There was so much they didn’t know and the urge to protect his gentle brother just swelled in his heart.

They needed to investigate further. Find out exactly what was going on. Make sure his brother was safe. That it didn’t affect any water rescues.

They couldn’t afford to have Virgil spacing out in the ocean at random. As it was, Gordon wasn’t going to let Virgil anywhere near the ocean during rescues for the foreseeable future. He could stay up in Two.

Safe.

Whale song could travel around the globe.

His native realm had become a hazard for his big brother and that was unacceptable.

They had to find out what was going on.

John and Eos had made a good start, but Sam and himself needed to investigate further and soon.

Virgil needed to cooperate for his own safety.

Gordon broke his stroke, pushed himself to the side of the pool and rested his head on the concrete a moment, letting his body float randomly.

Blood pumped through his ears, his heart still running at exercise rate.

He needed to convince Virgil.

Somehow.

-o-o-o-

Scott revelled in the early dawn light. His feet pounded on his wonderfully familiar route around the Island. A trek he hadn’t laid eyes on for a week.

His runners crunched volcanic gravel beneath them.

The sun was just rising on Christmas Day, the beautiful weather hanging strong, the sea a stretch of glass disappearing off into the horizon. His current trajectory pointed him directly south where he knew beyond the glass lay Raoul Island. A single spot in a sea of blue, so similar to the even tinier spot that was Tracy Island.

Same sea of blue.

A pokey tree appeared on the side of the track, its red flowers quite glorious in the morning sun, and he found himself grinning. Sure, he knew the correct name of the pōhutukawa tree, but Alan’s name was so much easier to pronounce and it made Mel laugh.

His legs took the strain as he jogged up the rapidly steepening trail.

If he was honest with himself, the whole no strings attached thing was a lie. He found himself thinking about the woman more the longer they were away from Raoul.

And they only left yesterday.

As soon as the sun was high enough in the sky to be polite, he would be contacting Raoul with his invitation to her, Sam and Liam. It wasn’t the only time he had invited people to the Island, they weren’t entirely hermits, but it was rare and the first time in a long time.

And he was so looking forward to it.

Penny and Parker were due after breakfast as was the tradition. As soon as everyone was awake, they would have their present opening party, always a major family event. More for the company and laughter than the presents themselves.

He could almost hear Gordon declaring it ‘Tracy style’ complete with the arm movements to compliment the claim.

But Mel...it was like he was excited to show her the Island, perhaps because he knew she would be very interested in the ecosystem that had developed here since their father had begun repairing it over a decade ago.

And he was staring at it right now as he followed the path around the back of the Island. Pokey trees, palms and ferns were everywhere a foothold was available. Scott knew very little about their ecosystem beyond the need to keep it safe. Gordon and Virgil were the ones who knew most about it among the brothers. Gordon focussed on the sea and Virgil sometimes helped out with animal numbers and photography for the scientific group.

But Mel hadn’t been here since Dad...

He grunted and hurdled a rock he hurdled every morning as the slope inverted and started heading down. The view was stunning.

Despite the glass of the ocean, the swell still crashed on the back cliffs of the Island, jagged volcanic rock resistant to the relentless pounding.

Hopefully she would consent to the visit even though it was late notice.

He did have a Thunderbird, after all.

-o-o-o-

John hadn’t slept much. He never did when something was on his mind. His everything drove him to find a solution, particularly when a brother was involved.

Eos never slept, so she was the perfect insomnia companion.

There was also the factor that he was home, but he really wasn’t.

He was missing Five.

Now he was back on the Island, everything was screaming at him to go home.

Not that he didn’t like the Island, quite the opposite. The Island contained his brothers, his grandmother, Kayo, his family and he adored his family.

But the stars were calling to him. His body ached to feel the release from gravity. He wanted his home.

He ignored it.

His body needed gravity. It was an undeniable fact. It had evolved under the pressure exerted by the planet and while his mind adored the stars and the lack of gravity, nature demanded its return under the ‘use it or lose it’ mandate of life on Earth.

So, tired, but awake anyway as the sun hit the front of the villa, John made his way down to the pool where he found Gordon, as expected, in the water, but unexpectedly, not swimming. His head was lying on one arm at the edge of the pool, his body floating lazily behind.

John dropped his towel on a lounger and, bare footed to the edge next to his brother. Folding himself into a seated position he dropped his feet to dangle in the cool water.

“Gordon?”

“Hmm?” His head rose a little blearily. “Oh, John, hey.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Huh? What, oh, Merry Christmas, John.”

A frown. “You okay?”

Gordon flexed his shoulders. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“Virgil?”

“Yeah.”

John sighed. “Same. But you do know he’s okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking it through.”

John pushed himself into the water and couldn’t help a relieved sigh as the water took away so many of the effects of gravity, cradling his body. “Swim with me?”

Brown eyes turned to him and John saw a reflection of his own worry in their depths. “Sure.” Gordon pushed off from the edge, his movements graceful despite his distraction.

John moved to the lane next to Gordon’s preferred and lined up beside his fish brother. Gordon shot him a brief but grateful smile before pushing off the end in a careless surge into stroke. He was metres ahead before John had even shifted into form.

Typical.

Show off.

But he couldn’t help but smile as he pushed off the edge himself, automatically moving into a strong but leisurely stroke in warm up.

Swimming denied verbal communication, but it wasn’t needed, the two of them just keeping each other company.

By the fifth lap, John started pushing himself, putting his body through the exercise needed to keep it healthy. He had no delusions of keeping up with Gordon. He just paced himself as his body needed it. Twenty laps in, he eased up a little and checked on his brother.

Gordon was still going. John brought himself to a halt, treading water, muscles pleasantly buzzing.

“Hey, John.” The astronaut startled, turning in place to find Scott standing on the edge of the pool. His running gear appeared well used, sweat stains prominent, and he was still breathing heavily. “Just letting you know that I’m going to be taking One out in about half an hour.”

“You going to get Mel and Sam?” Gordon was suddenly beside him. It was a sign of how tired John actually was that his younger brother startled him almost as much as Scott had a moment earlier.

“Yeah.”

“Can I come with?”

“Don’t you want to be here for when Penny arrives?”

John arched an eyebrow in Gordon’s direction. The fish had been looking forward to Christmas for that very reason. Before Virgil’s illness, it had been Penelope this, Penelope that. Apparently, he had the ‘best’ gift lined up for their first Christmas as a couple. Whether or not that was still going ahead considering recent events, John had no idea. Gordon hadn’t mentioned it since Virgil fell ill.

“I thought you had the fastest plane on the planet, Scotty.”

Their eldest brother snorted. “Plane, yes, younger brother, no.”

“Hey, I can be fast.” A strawberry blond frown. “Regardless, I need to speak to Sam.”

Scott eyed him a moment. “Virgil?”

Gordon sighed. “Yeah, Virgil. Gotta handle this delicately.”

Scott’s lips thinned. “Okay, then you better be ready in thirty because that’s when I’m leaving.”

The fish was already climbing out of the pool. Wet footprints marked the concrete as he strode to his towel.

Blue eyes turned to John. “You okay? You look tired.”

John let water run through his fingers. “I am, but I’ll live.”

Voice quiet. “Virgil?”

A single nod, voice equally quiet. “Virgil. Eos, Gordon and I will work it out. We just need time.” And patience. Admittedly, he didn’t have much of that where his brothers’ health was concerned. He could fake it, but it didn’t mean he felt it.

Scott’s expression was thoughtful. “I know you will do your best. Don’t forget to look after yourself.”

A groan. This was why Virgil was always adamant that he was fine. I single hint of something wrong and their biggest brother was all over them, his concern obvious. “I’m fine, Scott.”

That earned him a grunt and John actually struggled not to smile at his brother’s exasperation. John swam to the pool edge and pushed himself out of the water. A wave in the direction of the rising sun’s reflection. “The pool is all yours, dear brother.”

Scott eyed him. “Thank you.”

The morning breeze cooled John enough to raise goose pimples on his arms. Before he could reach for his towel, Scott was handing it to him.

Ever the big brother. It was John’s turn to eye him back. “Thank you.”

Scott smiled at him, a definite smirk on those lips. He knew exactly what John was thinking and had likely done it on purpose. “Anytime.”

Hmmm. “Merry Christmas, Scott.”

Those blue eyes widened as his big brother obviously realised that despite all the preparations underway, despite the tree they had stacked with presents the night before, he had still managed to forget the significance of the day.

It was John’s turn to smirk.

But Scott recovered quickly, tilting his head, a small smile on his lips. “Merry Christmas, John.”

With that he turned and headed off into the house.

-o-o-o-

Alan loved to sleep in. He shared this love with his second eldest brother. Getting up early sucked big time and he had no coffee addiction to help him.

But there was one day of the year when you could witness the youngest Tracy out of bed, while not early, at least a decent time where breakfast could still be called breakfast and not lunch or even brunch.

Christmas Day.

Alan adored the day. Presents, food and family, what more could a guy ask for?

So, eight am found him stumbling down the stairs to the kitchen in search of the second and third items on the list. He found Grandma at the kitchen table eating her fruit and yoghurt.

Alan made no effort to be quiet, but she didn’t appear to realise he was there, staring out across the lagoon. “Grandma?”

She dropped her spoon with a clatter as it hit the bowl. “Alan!” She clutched her hand to her chest, gasping. “You frightened me. Gave my old heart a kick in the pants.”

“Sorry, Grandma. Are you okay?”

“This time. Though I wouldn’t recommend doing it too often.” She held out an arm. “C’mere and give me a Christmas hug.”

Now that was something he was quite happy to do. Grandma hugs were always appreciated. “Merry Christmas, Grandma.” He held her tight.

“Merry Christmas, honey. Are you hungry?”

Uh, that was always a loaded question and there were important indicators related to that. “Where is everyone?” He had expected to find at least John down here. His space brother would eat his breakfast staring out into the lagoon and follow it with work on his tablet just to be around family in his own way. But not today.

“Scott and Gordon have gone to Raoul to collect Ms Fisher and that scientist friend of Gordon’s.”

“Sam?”

“I guess. They were both in quite a hurry to leave.”

That set Alan grinning. “I think Scott likes Mel.”

An arched eyebrow. “I thought she liked Virgil.”

A snort accompanied the grin. “I don’t think she is Virgil’s kind of girl.”

Of course, that was the very moment Kayo decided to enter the kitchen. She had obviously been on a run, dressed in shorts and a high cut top.

“Who’s Virgil’s kind of girl?”

Alan’s eyes widened. “Um.”

Green narrowed at him. “What are you up to, Alan?”

“Nothing!” He held out his hands. “What did I do?”

“I’m more concerned with what you are going to do.”

“Suspicious, much? I’m going to eat breakfast, that’s what.”

She continued to eye him. “No practical jokes today.”

“I wasn’t planning on it. Gee, you’d think I was Gordy or something.”

“Gordon will be contained by Lady Penelope. You, however, are not.”

“And what? That makes me some kind of prank genius?”

“Genius, no, annoyance, yes.”

“Hey, Merry Christmas, Kayo. How about a little of the spirit?”

She glared and him and grunted before turning away and stalking off.

“What’s up her skirt?”

“Alan!”

“Well, you saw her. I didn’t do anything!”

Grandma was quiet a moment. “She has things on her mind.”

“When doesn’t she?”

“Let her be.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

Grandma sighed. “Things will work themselves out for the best.”

Alan stared at his grandmother. What on Earth was going on? Did everyone know something that he didn’t. He sighed. Wouldn’t be the first time. “I’m going grab some breakfast.”

“Yes, dear.” And Grandma was staring out at the lagoon again.

What the-?

Alan grabbed the refrigerator door and flung it open, his eyes raking its contents. Perhaps food would fix things.

A glance at Grandma found that she hadn’t moved.

There was definitely something going on.

-o-o-o-

End Day 5 Part 1

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #Virgil Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Scott Tracy #John Tracy #Alan Tracy #Grandma Tracy #kermadec fic

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 4 years

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Banished (Part 27)

*Not My Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished...

Post Date: 12-7-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 2.1

A/N: sorry It’s late. Also I wanted to ask, I want to make an extra part where it’s everything going on Mount Weather and everything Bellamy goes through, So tell me what you think.

~Banished~

~Master~

*Based off episode 2x14 of the 100 , Bodyguards of lies*

You pushed yourself up to your elbows, looking down at your leg where Abby had been giving you stitches. “How much longer?” You tapped your fingers against the table, checking over your shoulder towards the door. The number of people laying on the beds worried you as you sighed, laying back down for the doctor to finish.

“Y/N, just wait.” Kane came in your view over Abby’s shoulder. His eyes flickered between your open leg and your eyes as you saw the worry in them. You sighed, slowly reaching out to grab his hand. His eyes locked onto your face, his lips curling up into a smile but you didn’t see, instead you avoided looking at the man’s relief and focused on the way Abby repetitively stabbed you with a needle.

“I have a war to get to Kane. I don’t get to wait.” Letting Kane’s hands all back to his side you covered your eyes and moaned lightly. Abby watched you, keeping an eye on your leg but checking out your actions.

“How’s your head?” She asked as she finished the last of your stitches, and cleaning you up. You didn’t want to answer her question knowing the amount of trauma your head had been through the past couple days couldn’t be good for it but you knew Abby was just going to keep asking if you ignored her.

“It’s fine.” You lied as Abby paused, looking up at Kane through her eyelashes before continuing on.

“Y/N, there are other people to fight, you don’t have to-“

“I’m fine.” Kane let his mouth snap shut as you glared at him. He knew you were determined to see this through, no matter your physical or mental state.

Abby finished up your stitches, wrapping the area as she stood up. “Ok, you should be done.” You swing your feet over the side of the table, letting your feet dangle as Abby put her hand on your knee. “Take it easy, Y/N. You lost a lot of blood.” You disregarded her advice and jumped to your feet. The ground slipped out from under you as you found yourself going down, only to be caught by a pair of arms wrapped around your waist.

You looked up, Kane staring down at you with creased brows as you help push yourself up, legs wobbling only slightly as you steady yourself. “See? I’m fine.”

“Y/N.” You didn’t wait around for his words, pushing past him on staggering legs. Abby and Kane watched you leave, neither one of them making any move to stop you as Kane sighed, holding his head in his hands. “What do I do, Abby?” He took the spot you had occupied, turning to face the door as Abby rubbed his back.

“Just keep trying. She’s just a kid. They all are.” She thought back to Clarke’s escape before the missile, how the girl she raised could do something like that, endanger the lives of so many people. Kane just shook his head, meeting the woman’s eyes slowly.

“She’s not a kid anymore.” Abby bit her lip and gestures for Kane to lie down.

“Come on, I have to check your injuries.” She told him but Kane didn’t move.

“I’m fine.” Abby drew in a long breath, finding the similarities between you two amusing yet damaging.

“Lay down.” She told the man again with more force as Kane gave in, letting Abby check over his injuries.

Lexa was laying in her tent, trying to rest up as Clarke stood away from her, worrying nonstop about Bellamy and the plan. “This has to work, Lexa. People died for this.” Lexa tries to ease her concern, telling her this was how Lexa acted when she first gain control and once Bellamy takes the fog down they would be all set, but Clarke just shook her head. “What if he can’t? What if it was too dangerous and I sent him in there?”

“You care for him.”

Clarke nodded. “I care for all of them.”

Lexa was curious, she knew your position with Clarke from your side, maybe it was time to get Clarke’s. “Even Y/N?” She asked as she walked across the room, taking a sip of her drink.

Clarke’s eyes widened, dropping to the ground in shock. “Of course I do.” She tried to convince Lexa.

Lexa turned around, facing Clarke as she turned as well. “But you care for others more. Bellamy?”

“I couldn't have kept us alive all this time without him. We need him. And now I might be the one who gets him killed." Clarke thought back to Bellamy, how she let him go into the mountain without any protection but soon her thoughts moved to you, how she banished you back at the drop ship and then again after Mount Weather.

“That’s what it means to be a leader Clarke. Sometimes you must look in the eyes of your warriors and say ‘go die for me’.” Clarke couldn’t think that way, she didn’t want to think that way. She didn’t want anyone to have to die but she knew that these days she doesn’t get that luxury.

“If only it was that easy.” She told Lexa before focusing on the plan once more.

You walked Camp Jaha, trying to ease the pain on your leg as you wound up outside the radio. You stood outside the door, hearing the faint groan from Raven inside as you entered.

“Hard at work?” You joked as she turned to you, giving you an exhausted side smirk before focusing on the radio again.

“Bellamy missed check in.” Your smile dropped as you braced yourself on the table, the information practically paralyzing you as Raven held you up. “Y/N?! Are you okay?”

Your head felt like it was slapped with a building but you nodded, blowing off the feeling.

“Yeah. Yeah... I’m uh, fine. I’m fine.” You muttered, falling into the seat as Raven eyed you carefully, knowing you weren’t telling the truth but not questioning you on it. “How long ago was it? His check in.”

“10 minutes ago.” You didn’t know what to say but thankfully Raven didn’t give you the chance as she picked up the radio. “Bellamy.” There was only static on the channel as your stomach did flops, just waiting to here his voice. “Bellamy. Come in.”

Bellamy’s response was almost instant this time. “Yeah, I’m a little busy here Raven.” He said and for the first time since Tondc your mind was practically clear, the only focus was Bellamy’s voice. Raven looked to you who was just staring at the radio, your mouth hung open in shock as she continued to talk to Bellamy.

“You missed check in.” You didn’t really hear the rest of the conversation, Bellamy’s voice still being the only thing you could make out before it was gone and the sound of static replaced it. You were on your feet before Raven could say anything, calling out to you as you exited the room. “Where are you going?”

“To fight.” You said, leaving Raven with more questions than answers.

You headed to outside medical, where Kane put your pack, trying to leave without being caught but luck wasn’t on your side as you turned around, running into Kane.

“You’re leaving?” He asked, eying the bow in your hand and the bag strung over your shoulder as you looked to the ground.

“I told Lexa I would fight. I’m keeping my word.” He nodded, stepping out of your way which only led you to confusion. “You’re not going to tell me to stay?”

“Would you listen?” You shook your head, honestly knowing you would fight in this war no matter what he said, but it comforted you slightly to know he wasn’t going to stop you. “Be safe Y/N.”

“I know.” You gave him a slight smile before walking past him and towards the gates of Camp Jaha, pausing before walking out of them in the direction of Mount Weather.

You were barely walking for a few hours before your leg started throbbing, the stitches on it feeling heavily discomfortable as you took step after step and soon the pain was too much to bear. You took a seat on the ground, the forest around you springing to life as you finally take the time to appreciate it. Trees filled your visions, going on for miles as the sun started to set over the horizon. You knew you weren’t far from their camp, so as much as you hated it, you decided to stop for the night.

A smooth oak tree provided the perfect pillow as you tried to get any sleep to prepare you for the war against Mount Weather.

The sky turned dark as your eyes pulled themselves open, the eerily quiet woods sending a chill up your spine as you stood up, a whispering barely filling your ears and you slowly bent down to grab your bow and arrows.

“Hello?! Anyone there?!” You shouted, hoping no one would respond but preparing just in case. But nothing really prepared you for who walked out behind the farthest tree, your mind making a double take.

“Mom?”

“Hi Baby.” The mom said as you froze, watching her take steps closure and closure to you before grabbing your hands, dragging them out with her.

“Bu-but you-u’re dead.” Your words were mere whispers as you closed your eyes, trying hard to come to terms with what’s happening.

“I know.” Her hand came up to cup your cheek but you couldn’t feel anything, only air before she pulled it away.

“Am I dead?” You weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer to this. Was this death? We’re you dead and your mom was helping you?

She let out a little giggle, grabbing your hand again before you realized you couldn’t. Feel that way either. “Not yet.” You wanted to ask her what that meant.

Not yet?

But instead you found your eyes getting watery as you looked at your mom, the last time you saw her being eight years ago and she looked exactly the same, if not even more beautiful. “Why are you here?” You choked you, finding it harder to talk every second as her smile reached her Y/E/C eyes.

“I’m here because you made me be here”

“W-what?

“I’m here for you Y/N. You need to wake up.” You were taken back, trying to figure out with she meant before it got worse. “WAKE UP!”

Your eyes snapped open, the darkness of the forest making your chill return but looking no one was watching you. It was silent, the only noise was the wind brushing against your ears as you relaxed. It was almost perfect.

You hadn’t slept after that dream, not expecting to get much more sleeping as the day came across the sky, telling you to get a move on it.

You couldn’t help but get that dream of your head, I mean you saw your mom, dreaming or not, and you haven’t dreamt about her since they were flooded, to afraid to bring emotions into your world.

You tried to ignore it again as you pulled into camp just as they were celebrating Bellamy disabling the fog. You were exhausted, your leg still paining you but you smiled, thanking the fact that this war was your in your favor and Bellamy had done it. Lexa saw you the moment you passed the guards, a small smile in your direction before looking down at your leg. You played it off like it was fine but she saw the limp you had as her smile faltered a little.

“You made it.” She said as you approached her, gaining the attention of a few of the grounders around.

“I said I would.” Clarke appeared behind Lexa, your stomach dropping a little as you thought about Tondc but you knew it wasn’t her fault, she was a leader. You nodded your head in her direction, earning a shocked one back as you watched the rest of the grounders.

“I assume Bellamy’s alive then.” Lexa asked as you nodded, never looking away from the few chanting people. “I’m glad you’re here.” She put her hand in your back before lowering it, a slip of non leader Lexa sneaking her way in as you nudged her shoulder.

“Lets go win this war.” You said in their grounder tongue, making Lexa proud as she stuck her sword in the air. There were so many people, families, wives, husbands, children and they die...

Your thoughts died as you caught a certain head of Y/H/C hair from the back and you pushed your way into the crowd for the second time of the day. The woman turned around, once more making her way into your mind as you stopped. “Mom.”

Was she really here? No she couldn’t be.

“Mom.“ You whispered as you took a step forward.

And just like that she was gone and you couldn’t focus on that, you had to focus on the war.

The war you needed to win.

What did you think?

All Tags Open!

****Reblogging with Banished Tags*****

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @saturn-aka-six @nathaliabakes @whyamihere-bro @colored-confetti @wiseeggspickleslime @sadn0va @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @wellhellotherelovey @hollymac79 @delicately-important-trash

Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @nyxxxwtp @danielabetancourth

#bellamy blake imagine #bellamy blake x reader #the 100 #the 100 imagine #bellamy imagine #bellamy blake fanfiction #bellamy x reader #bellamy blake #the 100 fic #the 100 x reader #the 100 series #banished

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alright--okay · 3 years

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you ever been to a basement show? pt. 2

tsukishima kei x reader

summary: Tsukishima sees you everywhere, and for a big school thats weird. And it’s not like he’s gonna do anything, that’d be even weirder, but one day in your shared lecture he sees you wearing a shirt with some small band’s name. A band he know. And well, now he has to know who you are.

word count: ~2.1 k

a/n: the first five chapters are already on ao3 so imma post them here real quick, hope anyone reading enjoys!

read on ao3!

pt. 2 Fine, Great - Modern Baseball

When you had first brought up a “basement show,” he had no idea what you were talking about. Tsukishima didn’t go to concerts, let alone ones held in sketchy, leaky, low-ceilinged basements with bands comprised of angsty college kids.

But it seemed fun.

You had lit up with the mention of them, so there must be something to them and he wasn’t about to ruin his attempt at friendship before it even started and spend the rest of the semester awkwardly running into you (which, as established, happened often).

After replying that no, he had never been to a basement show (or knew of their existence but you didn’t need to know that), you quickly whipped out your phone.

“Okay so there’s this huge group chat where the local bands post their shows, I can add you.” you handed over your phone, letting him type in his number. “If I manage to convince my roommate to come with me, I’ll be at the show on Saturday at the Pigpen,” you continued to ramble about the bands that were supposed to be there but Tsukishima was quickly getting lost.

“Pigpen?” Tsukishima questioned. What kind of place in the middle of Tokyo was called the Pigpen?

You let out a small laugh, “I know, some of the places that hold these things come up with some weird names. But don’t worry, no pigs will be present. It’d be cool to see you there.”

“Oh already desperate to see me again? I haven’t even left yet, l/n.” Tsukishima gave you a smirk, returning your phone.

“With that wonderful smile, how could I not be?” you said, fanning yourself, “It just won’t leave my mind and your lanky body in those loose sweatshirts? My god! I can’t take it!” You smiled up at him, as you both fell into step with each other, making your way out of the lecture hall.

“I’m glad you can admit it.” You laughed again, and okay Tsukishima was glad he sat next to you.

“So, do you think you’re gonna come?”

“I’ll … have to see. I might already have plans.” That was a lie. Tsukishima definitely did not have plans but he wasn’t about to admit that too you. At most he would spend the weekend watching movies with Yamaguchi or avoiding Kuroo and Bokuto. Yeah, it as nice to live with people he knew from high school, Kenma and Akaashi were quiet, good roommates, but dealing with the visiting pair on an almost weekly basis could be a lot, to say the least.

“Well, if you decide you want to go, let me know. I can give you the address and it’s always nice to know someone among a crowd of strangers.”

Tsukishima kept a neutral face as the two of you continued walking, but he couldn’t help but agree.

~~~~~~

“Yachi, please! I swear no one will murder you, I’ll be with you the whole time, promise!” You had been begging your roommate for the last few days to come to this show with you, and in the last few hours, you were hoping she’d finally agree.

“But what if-”

“Nope! You have already told me every scenario. And I am telling you,” you gently grabbed her shoulders, “it will be fine, I will not let anyone kidnap or mug you.” You released her, gaining hope by her almost calmed expression. “Besides, I think a guy from one of my classes is gonna come so we’ll have even more back up.”

Tsukishima had texted this morning, apparently whatever plans he had fell through, leaving his night open for the show. You couldn’t lie to yourself, you were kinda happy about that. Tsukishima seemed cool, and despite trying to go to shows often, you didn’t know that many people in the scene. Having a more reliable concert buddy than Yachi was definitely a good idea, especially someone who could scare away any creeps like the intimidatingly tall blonde.

“Alright, I’ll go.” Yachi finally conceded. She was obviously still anxious but had calmed down considerably since you had first brought it up, “But you’re cleaning the bathroom for the next month.”

“YES, okay that’s fine. Really, don’t worry, we’re gonna stick together. Come on, let’s get ready.”

~~~~~~

“Hey, hey! Where you going Tsukki?” Kuroo called from his position on the couch, Kenma lazily draped across him, switch in hand. Tsukishima was lucky only Kuroo decided to stop by this week, he didn’t know how he’d leave if the rambunctious duo were both questioning him.

“Out.”

“Huh? Where? Your only friends are right here.” Kuroo continued to question, smirk firmly in place.

“Where did you get the idea that we were friends?”

“Tsukki~” Kuroo drew out his name, “We all know I am your best friend-”

“Not true.”

“And so,” he continued, “I just want to know where my dear BFF is going on a Saturday night.”

“Again, not your BFF. And again, out. I should be back later tonight.” Tsukishima really didn’t need this right now. Who knows how long and in-depth Kuroo’s questioning would get? You said the music started at nine and it was already approaching 8:30, and he still had to make the ten-minute walk to the address you had sent him.

Tsukishima knew you were probably just being nice to him. He had made it clear in your first meeting that he didn’t get to talk about music often so you were probably just giving him the in. You got him in the group chat, maybe you’d see each other at other shows on the weekend and in class during the week, and that was it. You could wipe your hands clean of Tsukishima Kei and continue as you were. He hoped he was wrong.

“Wait, Tsukki-” before Kuroo could continue, Tsukishima shout a quick goodbye into the apartment and closed the door behind him, letting out a sigh as he did so.

He was getting to this basement show.

~~~

As he approached the address you had given him, Tsukishima couldn’t help but pay attention to his surroundings. Instead of the larger apartment buildings that were closer to campus, he was now in a more residential area. Rundown houses lining the streets, some with slightly overgrown lawns. Most probably being rented by other college kids who wanted a cheaper rent.

Tsukishima didn’t venture this far from campus often but while reaching his destination he was met with two guys around his age standing at the edge of the driveway.

“You here for the show?” One of them asked. Tsukishima gave them a curt not, handing over a small pile of yen to his outstretched hand. “Okay just get marked and then you can head in through the door in the back.” Tsukishima gave another nod as the other grabbed his hand, marking the back with a black smiley face and letting him pass.

As Tsukishima slowly walked to the back of the house, the chatter of college students leaking from the opened basement door, he looked down at the smiling face on the back of his hand. He couldn’t stop his own small smile from creeping its way onto his face.

Getting to the basement required a lot more ducking than Tsukishima would have liked, and even now in the more open space, he had to watch where the rafters and pipes on the ceiling were.

“Tsukishima!” Turning his head to the voice, he looked over to see you, bathed in the cheap red glow of the LED lights lining the walls. You were smiling at him (good sign) and gave him a small wave as he continued to approach (also a good sign).

“Tsukki!?”

Tsukishima turned his gaze downward, met with the sight of his former volleyball manager. “Yachi? What are you doing here?”

“You guys know each other?” You questioned, looking between the two.

Yachi turned to you with a smile, “Yeah! Me and Tsukki went to high school together. He was on the volleyball team when I was a manager. Him and Yamaguchi came to Tokyo but I haven’t seen either of them in a while.” Your mouth forming a small ‘o’ as Yachi went on.

You turned back to look at him, “So you know Yamaguchi? Yachi talks about him sometimes.”

It took Tsukishima a second to respond, still processing the fact that you knew Yachi, were roommates with Yachi. And you had heard of Yamaguchi (but not him which was fine). What is happening right now? “Um, yeah. We’ve been friends since elementary school, we’re roommates actually.”

The three of you continued with light conversation as the band finished setting up their instruments.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” The band was meant with light cheers from the crowd, “I want to thank everyone for coming. Shoutout to the Pigpen for having us. We’re Destroy Boys and this is I Threw Glass at My Friend’s Eyes and Now I’m on Probation.” Immediately Tsukishima was met with the intense guitar and thumping drums, heart pounding in time with the bass being blasted through the speakers dispersed throughout the basement.

Beside him, Yachi was bopping her head, much calmer now with you and Tsukishima with her, and you were dancing while straining your neck to look at the band near the back of the basement, mostly blocked from the crowd in front of them.

Tsukishima focused on the wild crowd, it honestly couldn’t be considered a “crowd” anymore, that was a mosh pit. He has never been to a concert before, but he recognized the push of a circle and the bodies jumping into each other.

The first song came to an end, met with loud screaming from the temporary calm mosh pit.

“Whose moshing?” You asked him and Yachi, a borderline wild look in your eyes.

“Not happening,” Tsukishima replied at the same time as Yachi’s panicked no.

“Alright fine, but you guys stick together and stay here, I can’t lose the only people I know here. I’ll come back after a song or two.” You said, handing your coat to Yachi’s waiting hands and giving them a smile before rushing into the pit as the next song came back just as strong as the first.

“Is she always like this?” Tsukishima asked Yachi, ducking down towards her ear so she could hear him over the music.

“If it’s just me and her, she chills in the back with me, but I guess with you here she feels okay letting me just watch while she goes a bit … wild.” The two looked back at the pit where you were, jumping and laughing and bumping into people as you screamed the occasional lyric.

Yeah, he was gonna start coming to these things more often.

~~~

“I can’t believe you would say Remo Drive’s second album is better than their first!” You ranted. The three of you were making your way home from the show to your respective apartments, which turned out to be only a block from each other.

“I can’t believe you are disrespecting the growth of supposedly one of your favorite bands.” Tsukishima was having fun; from the talks between sets at the basement show to now the walk home, you and him had been debating bands, albums, songs, everything with Yachi often chiming in or laughing at the two of you.

“I would never, first of all, and second, you can’t tell me there was a complete vibe change after Sam left.” You continued, “Greatest Hits was a fun, emo album and they completely changed their style after that!”

Tsukishima remained quiet. You had a point. The second album was pretty different and you weren’t the only person who had shared similar remarks on it.

At his silence, you replied, “That’s what I thought you complete imbecile.”

“Imbecile? Who are you?”

“Not an imbecile, that’s for sure.”

“Can you spell imbecile for me?”

“This is not the argument we were having and I refuse to partake in your attempt at slander-”

“Alright, what about necessary?”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“How can you not spell a stupidly common word?”

“I really don’t need this harassment in these trying times, okay?” Beside the two of you, Yachi broke out into giggles, “Yachi,” You dragged out her name, “please stop laughing at me.”

“I swear it isn’t at you, y/n, I’m laughing with you.”

“It’s okay Yachi, you can say it, I’m laughing at her too.” Tsukishima said with a smirk and small chuckle.

You and Yachi slowed down, reaching the entrance of your building, “Well that’s enough y/n-hating for today, assholes, I’ll see you in class on Monday, Tsukishima.”

“Bye Tsukki! Tell Yamaguchi I say hi.” Tsukishima raised his hand to say goodbye as the two of you entered your building, smiles still on your faces, and looking at your retreating figure definitely did not make his heart beat just a tad faster (he swears).

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukki x reader

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crocodileniall · 4 years

Text

masterlist wattpad

2.1 in which Julianna is okay even if she isn't

warnings: angst, swearing, alcohol use, mentions/use of illicit drugs

word count: 1908

Julianna looked in the mirror, adjusting her hair. She pulled her lipstick out of her back pocket, sighing as she looked at it. “This is stupid,” she murmured to herself.

Julianna put her lipstick on, rubbing her lips together as she looked at herself. “This is the stupidest day of my entire life,” she mumbled.

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. “Yeah?” She called.

“Sorry I need to piss,” the voice said.

Julianna rolled her eyes, putting her lipstick back in her pocket. She swung the door open, facing the annoyance. A tall brunet with a beer in his hand. He had a stupid drunk look on his face.

The brunet pushed past her to which Julianna shoved him, eyes narrowing. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“you touched me,” he laughed. “Now are you going to stand there and watch me piss or are you gonna get out.”

Julianna let out a groan, stomping out of the bathroom. She shook her head as she went back into the crowded living room. She didn’t want to be here with all of these people who she didn’t know or particularly like. The music absolutely sucked and Julianna would tell anyone that asked.

She was about to head for the door when a hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She spun around, eyes softening when she saw her friend, “Nina,” she mumbled.

“Are you leaving?” Nina asked, eyebrows pulled together. “You just got here.”

Julianna sighed, shoulders relaxing. “I’m not really feeling it tonight. I just...” she trailed off. “I don’t know.”

“One more drink?” Nina begged, pulling her toward the kitchen. “We can go outside and talk.”

Julianna agreed because she was the kind of friend it was hard to say no to. Julianna let her pour her another whisky coke, extra strong. “Come on,” Nina murmured, nodding towards the patio.

They pushed through the crowds of people. Julianna held her breath until they got outside into the warm Santa Monica air. It was a sigh of relief. There were less people standing around and most of them were smoking.

Nina and Julianna sat down on the bottom of the steps, drinks in hand. They met a few months ago when Julianna moved to Santa Monica. Feeling desperate, Julianna went to a karaoke bar alone and ended up leaving with Nina, the owner. It was the kind of friendship that was instant and easy and not at all exhausting.

“What’s going on?” Nina finally asked after a moment.

“I hate it here,” Julianna told her.

Her petulance made Nina laugh. She nodded, “no one loves Santa Monica. It’s too close to LA but too far from San Francisco. What’s really going on?”

“I miss Niall,” Julianna whispered, gripping her drink a little too hard.

“Call him,” Nina encouraged, leaning toward her, shoulders bumping. “It’s been months since you’ve even seen him.”

Julianna shook her head. She took a gulping sip of her drink. She let out a self-deprecating chuckle. “He made me leave.”

“I can’t help but root for him,” Nina shrugged. “Since he’s extremely hot and from what you’ve told me, he loved you too. What’s that saying? If you love something set it free?”

“I didn’t want to be set free,” Julianna argued, shaking her head. Her words were heavy on her tongue. Nina made the drink extra extra strong.

“Tell him that,” Nina urged, grabbing her knee. “I hate to see you sad. This is a shitty party but I know you’re the type of girl to have fun. Dance on tables and shit.”

Julianna chuckled, nodding gently. “Fine. I’ll dance on the table with you. Only if they ever play a decent song in there.”

“I’ll make a request,” Nina promised, standing up. “What song?”

“Surprise me,” Julianna smiled up at her.

“I know just what you’ll like,” Nina grinned. “I’m giving you twenty minutes.”

Julianna chuckled, nodding as she walked away. She pulled her phone out, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. What could go wrong?

Julianna was half way to getting the courage when a body sat down beside her. It was the brunet from the bathroom. Julianna bit her tongue, looking over at him.

“I’m Joe,” he said.

“I didn’t ask,” Julianna retorted, pulling her phone into her chest.

“What’s your name?” He asked, lips spreading into a smile.

“None of your goddamn business,” Julianna muttered. “Can you please go somewhere else?”

“You’re about to call your ex,” Joe decided, looking her up and down.

Julianna rolled her eyes, standing up. She wanted Niall more than ever. She dialed the number, pressing the phone to her ear as she walked toward an empty corner.

Her heart raced. Julianna chugged the rest of her drink, pinching her eyes shut. The call went straight to voicemail and Julianna felt a bit defeated.

“Niall,” she said, voice quiet. “It’s Julianna.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “I-“ she cut off with a groan. “God I miss you.” Her voice cracked. “I miss you and I hate you at the same time because you made me leave and you didn’t kiss me before I left. I hate that you did this to me. I used to be fun. I used to dance on tables and now,” Julianna shook her head, blinking the tears from her eyes. “Now I cry at parties and I hate being anywhere that isn’t with you.”

Julianna hung up, fingers shaking. She closed her eyes, trying to regain control of her breathing. It had been four months since she saw him. Her book came out in two months and there was nothing she wanted more than to go back to Ireland. Rewind and pause time so that she never had to be away from him.

Julianna’s phone rang a moment later, Niall’s name flashing big and bold. Julianna answered it, pressing the phone to her ear, “Niall?”

“Jules,” he breathed out.

“Yeah,” she murmured, suddenly at a loss for words. She took a deep breath, rubbing her head. Julianna cleared her throat, catching her bearings. “I’m sorry I called.”

“No don’t be,” Niall rushed out. “God there’s so much I want to say to you.”

Julianna clenched her fist, shaking her head. “You made me leave and-and now you have shit to say?”

“I had shit to say the day you left,” he argued, voice thick and heavy. It made Julianna flinch. Softer, he said, “I just couldn’t. Not when you were about to leave.”

“You broke my heart,” Julianna confessed, squeezing her tear filled eyes shut.

“I know,” Niall whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Jules you don’t even understand.”

“No I don’t understand,” Julianna laughed wetly. She sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I don’t understand anything that happened because I blindly thought maybe you loved me back. Apparent-apparently not.”

“I did,” Niall urged, desperation dripping from his voice. “I do,” he repeated forcefully. “Fuck, Julianna I do love you. I was scared. I’ve never...” he trailed off. “I’ve never been in love. I didn’t know what to do. You were about to leave me I couldn’t put myself out there like that. I’m not that confident in myself.”

“I’ve told you for months how incredible you are,” Julianna cried, unable to help herself. “And I don’t understand why you won’t believe it. I don’t understand why if you love me you let me hurt like this. God, Niall this is the worst thing I’ve ever felt.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he whispered but Julianna could hear the crack in his voice. “I wish I could take it all back.”

“You can’t,” Julianna murmured, lifting her head as Nina walked toward her. She wiped her eyes, shaking her head. “I have to go.”

“Julianna listen to me,” Niall pleaded.

“I have to go,” she repeated, voice sharp and cold. Julianna hung up the phone, shoving her it into her back pocket. She wiped her eyes again, sniffling.

“What happened?” Nina asked, closing the space between them. She pulled Julianna into a hug. “If you don’t want to talk about it. I get it.”

“I don’t, I’m sorry,” Julianna mumbled, wrapping her arms around Nina’s waist.

Julianna loved Nina because she didn’t ask before she hugged. It’s what she felt in the moment and that’s what she did. Julianna figured there was a lesson to be learned in that.

“It’s okay,” Nina shook her head. “We don’t have to talk about it. What do you need right now?” She asked, pulling away. “A drink? A blunt? Whatever you need just name it.”

Julianna’s chest tightened. A weak smile spread across her lips as she breathed out, “I just want Niall.”

Nina hugged her again, laughing lightly. “If I could I’d give you him. Long as it made you smile.”

Julianna chuckled, “maybe a drink. And a blunt.”

“You got it,” Nina nodded, pulling away for the second time.

Julianna let Nina guide her into the kitchen where she poured her another drink. Julianna all but chugged it, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Juliann thought about the parties of two they had in Ireland. Where Julianna convinced Niall to do tequila shots and then immediately after, skinny dipping in the ocean. The water was freezing but Niall’s body was warm against her as he kissed her neck.

Niall cursed against her skin, mumbling that Julianna was crazy and he couldn’t believe she convinced him to do this. When Julianna laughed, Niall gave her the most blinding smile she’d ever seen. And she knew she loved him then.

Nina pulled Julianna out of her thoughts, introducing her to her friends. There was a tall girl named Arizona who had more piercings than Julianna could count. She showed Julianna her lip tattoo that said Risk It All. Julianna admired it, smiling at her.

Nina also introduced her to a man named Logan who had curly brown hair. Under different circumstances, he’d be the kind of man she’d have a crush on. He had a warm smile and inviting brown eyes. Julianna would have written poems about his eyes if her favorite color weren’t blue.

The last person Nina introduced her to was a girl named Caroline. She was blonde and beautiful. Her eyes were kind and she laughed at everything Nina said which was understandable because Nina was the funniest person she’d ever met.

Eventually, Nina had convinced her to dance. It was Mr. Brightside and Julianna couldn’t say no to that. She let her body go, hair wild as she danced. She was sandwiched between Nina and Caroline on the coffee table.

The night ended in Nina’s bed, the four of them squished together, passing a blunt between them. Julianna felt the most carefree she’s felt in a long time.

Caroline was talking about her ex boyfriend and how he punched walls when he was mad. Arizona reasoned it was a scare tactic and it was good she left him when she did. Nina was laughing, remembering the way he always pronounced library wrong. It wasn’t long before they were all laughing, a mess of tangled limbs.

Nina’s laugh made her laugh and for the first time she thought maybe she’d be okay. With or without Niall, she’d be okay. She could laugh and make new friends that she hoped were forever friends. She could think Logan was cute and she could laugh at his jokes even if he wasn’t Niall.

Heartbreak wasn’t the end of the world. She would recover and she’d be more than okay, an ever more incredible Julianna. She would dance on tables still and it was okay if she cried at parties.

let me know your thoughts!

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thanks for reading!

#Never enough au #Niall Horan au #Niall au #Niall Horan fic #Niall fic #Niall Horan fanfic #niall fanfic #nh au

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mandowh0re · 5 years

Text

Baby For a Week

Day 2 Part 2

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Summary: Loki decides it would be funny to turn Peter into a two year old, thrusting Tony into the life of an actual parent for a week. Is he ready?

Word Count: 1383

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst

A/N: I’m,,, updating??? HI GUYS! Also, I made Stucky a thing in this. Sorry not sorry.

Happy Reading!

Part 1.1/ Part 1.2/ Part 2.1/ Part 2.2

It was a relatively quiet evening after May left. Peter went down for a nap on his own and Tony took him and placed him in the crib along with the Iron Man plushie and puppy.

Deciding takeout would be a good idea after everyone tired themselves out playing with Peter, Tony ordered Chinese food to the Compound.

“So, how’s dad life treating you?” Natasha asked, before popping a piece of orange chicken in her mouth.

Tony shot her a glare, “I’m not-”

“Oh for the love of God!” Bucky slammed his flesh hand down on the table, “If I hear you say you’re not the kid’s dad one more time I’ll slap Steve,” he jerked his thumb to the man next to him.

“Um excuse me, don’t bring me into this!” Steve’s hands flew up.

Bucky ignored his boyfriend’s protest, “You literally walk, talk, and act like Pete’s dad twenty-four-seven. I’m pretty fucking sure the only person who doesn’t realize that is you.”

Steve quickly slapped Bucky upside the head at the same time Natasha kicked him under the table and Sam scream whispered, “Dude!”

Tony blinked a few times before his brain caught up with him.

“What did you just say?”

Bucky’s eyes got wide and they shot around the table.

“I no longer feel safe in this environment.” he said as he slumped in his seat.

“Oh now you’re intuition works.” Natasha hissed.

“Barnes,” Tony said, “What did you mean by that?”

It was silent for a few seconds before Bucky rolled his eyes and sat back up, “Well there’s no point in hiding it now!”

“It’s not your secret to tell, Buck.”

“I’ll get murdered either way. I’d rather get murdered by the spider.”

“You’re gonna make the kid cry.”

“He made us promise, Barnes.”

“Hey!” Tony yelled, getting everyone’s attention, “I’d like to know what secret my supposed spider child is keeping from me. So if you be so kind as to enlighten me,” he raised a brow.

Before anyone could stop him, Bucky blurted, “Petercallsyoudadwhenyouarentaroundto-.”

Tony choked on his spit at the same time Steve tackled Bucky to the ground..

“That’s a bold faced lie,” He said, but with such uncertainty that is came out painfully wavered.

His eyes flickered to Bruce, who just shrugged.

“FRIDAY?”

“Sergeant Barnes is telling the truth. I could not tell you because Peter convinced me not to.”

There were so many things swirling in Tony’s head right now.

How long had this been going on? Was it an accident at first? He really hasn’t fucked up with Peter? How had the kid manipulated Tony’s own AI to withhold information?

So he just avoided it altogether.

Turning to Barnes he said, “Can I at least say it one more time for the satisfaction of seeing Rogers get slapped?”

The look on Bucky’s face was pure evil.

***

That night, Tony was woken up by Peter screaming his lungs out.

Pepper had left on a business trip earlier in the evening to China, so he was left to his own devices.

Looking over the paper May had given him, she listed a few reasons as to why Peter may throw a tantrum.

Ear infection

Sick

Overly tired

Frustrated

Peter had an enhanced healing factor that made it damn near impossible for him to get sick, and he was sleeping. So all of those possibilities flew right out the window.

Tony had been bouncing the boy and cooing at him for the last ten minutes but nothing even caused Peter to let up on the screaming. And because he was screaming, he couldn’t communicate to Tony what was wrong.

“FRIDAY, can you scan him to see if there’s anything wrong that I’m missing?”

“I have already done so three times, boss. I cannot find anything physically wrong with him. Perhaps you should call Bruce up to look at him.”

“Right, right, okay. Can you have Bruce meet me in the med bay?”

“Will do.”

Tony grabbed puppy and the iron man plushie that the kid now called “kitty”, which the others made fun of Tony endlessly for.

“I don’t see him clutching to a stuffed version of any of you shit heads.”

When he got to the med bay, Bruce was already there in his pajamas with a white lab coat on.

The screaming child in Tony’s arms made him wince, “Mam, FRIDAY wasn’t messing around.”

“Does she ever?” Tony asked as he walked over to the bed.

“Yeah, if you ask her to.”

“One time. That was one time and you all basically grounded me.”

Just as Tony went to set Peter on the bed, the screaming got impossibly louder and Peter latched onto Tony with his spider powers.

“Well shit.”

“Just sit on the bed and put him on your lap. He should be fine there.”

After an extensive check, Bruce finally concluded that there really was nothing wrong with Peter. Luckily, by the time he was finished, Peter had calmed down to the point of hiccups and sniffles.

“Peter,” Bruce spoke quietly, “Can you tell us what’s wrong?”

Peter clutched the stuffed toys tighter and looked up at Tony, his chubby cheeks red and stained with tear tracks.

Tony ran a hand through the boy’s curls and carefully wiped a stray tear away, “It’s okay buddy. You can tell us.”

Peter looked between tony and Bruce a few more times before settling into Tony’s lap.

“Bird.”

Wait what?

“What do you mean, bud?”

“Mean bird. Big a-and gween eyes. Hurt.”

“Peter, there aren’t any birds in the building,” Bruce tried to explain, but Peter shook his head violently.

“Drop me in water! Th-then big house fell down n I not move and nobody help!” Peter was beginning to hyperventilate.

“He’s talking about Vulture. Toomes. I think. I’m not sure what he means about the house though.” Tony told Bruce.

“So a nightmare.” Bruce stated.

“I thought he only remembered us and his powers. No events.”

Bruce shrugged, “Maybe he has memories of things in his sleep. It’s Loki. And it’s magic. Honestly, we have no way to control or predict anything from here. We just gotta play it by ear.”

“Wonderful,” Tony groaned, “Hey Pete. The big mean bird is gone, he isn’t gonna hurt you. It was just a dream. I promise you’re safe.”

Peter only whimpered in response, but Tony took that as an okay to take him back up to the penthouse.

“Sorry for waking you, Brucie.”

“Never a problem for Peter.”

“I see where I stand.”

“Against the world’s cutest kid? Yeah, you do.”

Tony chuckled but headed back to the elevator.

When he finally got Peter to fall back to sleep, Tony snuck out to the living room of his penthouse.

“FRIDAY, I wanna know what Peter meant by what he said earlier. Look for any collapsed buildings in New York City in the timeframe from when he first told Happy about Toomes to the night Toomes was arrested.”

“I have found five collapsed buildings reported within those constrictions.”

“How many are still open cases or listed as suspicious or unsolved?”

“Two.”

“How did each one fall?”

“One building was an old abandoned apartment that burned to the ground. No arrest has been made in the case, but it appears to be arson. The other was an abandoned parking garage, collapsed from possible structural integrity. No arrest has been made, but it happened the night of the plane crash. The call to emergency operators came in about twenty minutes before your plane crashed.”

Tony physically felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“Were there any security cameras around that night?”

A shop across the street had a camera with the garage partially in its frame. I’m pulling it up now.”

A video feed came over the tv screen that had a partial shot of the street, including the parking garage.

A few seconds played before a red streak flew through the frame.

“Stop. Rewind. Play that frame by frame and enhance the video.”

FRIDAY did as requested, and there on the screen was Peter, in his old homemade spiderman suit, swinging towards the garage.

Tony felt his heart beginning to beat faster. Faster than it should.

He watched patiently for another three minutes, before the structure collapsed.

***

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natashaashleymarvelromanoff · 5 years

Text

ISGYB - One-Shots

This is a follow-up story of one-shots based around my previous story 'I'm So Glad You're Back'. which I will link in below, these one-shots can be read separately but you may also appreciate the story behind them.

‘I’m So Glad You’re Back’

This story will include one-shots of the lives of Natasha and Steve before they were together, after, during the snap and after they brought everyone back.

Also, check out my new masterlist of one-shots based in this same universe!! ---> Oneshot masterlist

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5 times steve thought about proposing and the 1 time he did.

1 year after the accords.

The rain falls softly against the little window of the motel they've been staying in for the past few days. The darkness outside soaking up the dim light from the lamp sitting next to steve, making the droplets on the window disappear. If it wasn't for the sound of pitter-patter against the glass you wouldn't even tell it had rained.

The blonde, who had been sat up in bed for over an hour now was carefully pressing his pencil in soft strokes over a page in the back of the small notebook he had now turned into a little book of sketches instead. Next to him laid the woman he loved, lost in sleep for the first time in days. Natasha is laid on the right side of the small double bed on her left side facing him, her left hand under her head and the right splayed out next to her face.

Now and then steve would look up from his little sketchbook and steal a stare at the spy that stole his heart. But the time he spent in-between those glances, steve drew. And it was as if he drew without realising what it was he was drawing until he was finished and lifted his head from the angle of looking down and looked upon the pencil markings on the page.

It was a ring.

Steve drew a ring. And not just any, from the depth of his memory steve had drawn a ring that looked exactly like the one his mother wore. 3 diamonds all next to each other, the middle one bigger than the other two and encased in a silver band with little markings and detail surrounding them.

Taking in the sight of the drawing, steve also took in a deep breath. His eyes never leaving the paper until he heard a sound to the right of him. Natasha had moved slightly in her sleep, causing her to roll over onto her back. For a second, steve let himself think of seeing this every morning for the rest of his life. Falling asleep and waking up next to Natasha every day and night.

He imagines what it would be like to marry her. To see a ring that means so much to him on her finger, forever binding them together. Steve knew there was no one else for him. It had always been her. And it always will be. And now that they were finally together after years of bad timing he couldn't stomach the thought of being apart from her ever again. But he wouldn't ask her. Not this soon. Officially they had only been together for nearly 3 months. The accords and the berlin fight nearly a whole year ago now. He didn't know how long they would be on the run for or if they would even stop but he knew that one day he would ask. But now wasn't the right time for either of them. It had only been 3 months and steve knew if he did ask it would scare her.

So with one last glance at the page, steve ran his thumb over the page and closed the book, leaning over the edge of the bed to slip it back into his go-bag next to the bed. Once sitting upright again, steve twisted his torso and reached over for the dim lamp stood on his bedside table and turned it off, the room fully being immersed into darkness with the sound of rain slowly lightening up.

Shifting his body down the bed, steve stopped once his head finally met the pillow and he carefully manoeuvred the duvet over him properly. But then another whimper came from Natasha's lips, her head turning slightly as she tossed in bed. Steve knew by now that the small whimpers and sound she made, the little movements were nothing like when she had her bad nightmares, just bad memories or thoughts that showed up in her sleep. So steve pushed himself closer to Natasha, lying himself on his side and he curled up against her, his left arm slowly snaked under her head cushioning her with himself and his right arm rested on her side, curling all the way around until his hand is over her stomach, pulling her closer to him until her back meets his front. Once he's closed the distance between them, his spy now safely nestled in his embrace, the little whimpers and movements become slower and quieter, slowly disappearing from her dreams. Once satisfied with his efforts to calm her in her sleep, steve rests his head behind her, the smell of her hair in his nostrils as he finally succumbs to sleep, holding the love of his life in arms and imagining what it would be like to marry Natasha and spend the rest of their lives together and hoping one day, maybe he could get the ring he drew made for her, so she could keep it forever.

2.1 year together.

It's weird to think it has been a whole year since they ended up together. They didn't spend it like how other couples did. Instead, they had been on the run from the government and in hiding from 117 countries. But that small set back didn't stop them. And it certainly made sam even happier to have his 2 best friends end up together too, not only because he had been rooting for them since the start but also because he's been able to have his own bed for the entire year now instead of swapping in and out with steve for who had to sleep on the couch or even having to share the bed with the super-soldier sometimes.

And coincidently, the same night as their 1st anniversary also happened to end up on a day that they didn't have to do anything but relax. Most of the time they had leads or missions that need to be taken care of but tonight was one of the rare ones where they could do whatever they wanted. And in the light of their anniversary, sam suggested they all go out for drinks to celebrate. Steve was a little hesitant at first, still wary of being caught or seen but was soon convinced by his best friend and girlfriend who were extremely excited by the idea of a night of letting go.

So in a little town inside of Mexico, the three former avengers got ready and found a busy bar, well it was more of a club, but nat and sam knew if they told steve it was a club then he probably wouldn't have gone. But if they were gonna spend time having some fun and not get caught, being surrounded by drunk people dancing was better than a quiet bar.

After a few hours and quite a few drinks, or more than quite a few in sams case, the three headed out to the dance floor, steve was awkward at first, not really knowing how to dance in the way everyone around him was, hell, he had only ever danced with Natasha to slow music like how they did in his day. This was something entirely new to him even if he had been out of the ice for 7 years already. But Natasha was right there for him, smirking at him as she dragged him by his arm closer to her until they were touching chest to chest. She pulled on his arm again, pulling him down slightly until their faces were now touching each other, their lips gently going over each other, barely touching as she teased him. Then, teasing him, even more, she quickly away from him and lifted both her arms to wrap them around his neck. His own hands instinctively placing on her hips as she started to sway them.

She didn't push for him to dance too wildly, even just in a club with drunk people surrounding them whilst swaying was making him blush to his ears already. But despite the blush colouring him pink, the dozens of young adults all crammed together, smelling of sweat and alcohol as they danced to the hideous rave music, All it took was one look at the woman in his arms and all that went away. The music blurred in his ears and the people around them disappeared from his view.

Natasha was all he could see. Her eyes were closed as she listened to the music and let it carry her away fro a few minutes. Pretending like she had nothing to worry about or nothing to do the day after, steve could feel her grip around his shoulders and neck and she held onto him, enjoying the feeling of letting go for once. As he gazed upon her face, he couldn't help but just remind himself of the little drawing he had made 9 months earlier when he had been sat in bed with Natasha at his side asleep.

It had been a while since hed looked at the sketch. But it was in moments like this when he would get totally lost in Natasha that he was reminded of it. If it wasn't for the fact they were in the middle of a club and it smelled like Bio and vodka he would have dropped to his knees right there and then and asked her to marry him in an instant. But she deserved better. And if his mother was keeping an eye on him from the grave she’d probably haunt him for the rest of his life for proposing to his girlfriend in such circumstances. So steve pushed the idea from his mind for now. Just allowing himself to get lost like her. In the music, the dancing, her.

3.2 months before the Snap.

It should have been a routine mission like they always were. Well, as routine as being on the run and running illegal missions could be. They were over in Belarus following a lead on some chitauri weapons that had been stolen back in 2012 when they were ambushed. The three avengers had not realised that the arms dealers trying to sell them had known they were coming. So the mission went south, really south. Amidst the fight between the dealers and the trio, one of the alien weapons had been fired, aimed at the ceiling blowing a huge hole into the metal and rock, causing the roof to cave in. the three all ran out of the way and into the corners of the room to find some protection from the falling debris of concrete. But for one of the Avengers, they didn't make it out of the way in time. As the roof fell in, the slabs of rock were falling to fast for Natasha to dodge and run to safety. And eventually, one large piece landed right in front of her, causing her to jump and fall back into another piece of stone just as more debris fell right on top of her, piercing through her lower abdomen and trapping her leg. The blonde let out a cry from the pain. Alerting her teammates to where she was.

Once the building had stopped falling apart, steve and sam finished off knocking out the remaining dealers and buyers if they weren't already dead from the collapse and then went to dig out Natasha. They found her in the far corner of the warehouse, her whimpers and screams allowing them o find her. Steve rushed as fast as he could towards where his girlfriends were pinned. Quickly lifting tons of stone and rock with ease, relieving the pressure from her leg and stomach, but the piece that had ripped through her skin was still impaled. After removing the weight, the blonde man reached over for Natasha, his hand caressing her cheek and he pulled her face towards his direction to make sure she was okay. Natasha could barely keep conscious at this point, her eyes kept opening and closing until they were shut completely, the weigh of trying to keep them open dragging them down. Steve beckoned for sam to go get the quinjet ready and bring it closer for them. They had kept it a few blocks away but close enough to get to once the fight was over, but since sam had his wings he would get there in no time at all so he could bring it back as fast as he could.

As the lovers waited for the jet, steve kept his hand pressed against her stomach, applying as much pressure as he could to the wound, where the concrete shred was still stuck in and also talking to her to try and keep her awake. But it was no use, she was already falling into unconsciousness. Sam soon returned with the jet and helped steve get her inside, leaving it on autopilot as they flew to a place they knew would help her and make sure she would get better. Whilst in the jet, they managed to get the shard out but were unsure if any had broken off inside so the two men tried to keep her as stable as possible until they reached Wakanda.

….

Its been a few hours since they reached the African country of Wakanda. King T'Challa welcomed them with no problem and had already had his sister and the doctors prep to help with Natasha once they arrived. Even with their technology and medical advancements, they still didn't let steve into the room as they worked on her, so instead he waited outside, the procedure hadn't been that long anyway. They had stopped the wound from bleeding and get any last bits of concrete that had broken and sealed up the wound, then pumped her with fluids and healing agent that would regenerate the cells to repair the scar tissue in her body so she wouldn't even be left with a mark after it had healed. It was miraculous what the Wakandan’s could do and how much they were willing to help.

Once they had finished patching her up, the doctors let him inside, she was laid on the bed in a white gown, with just a pillow beneath her head and a thin blanket on top to keep her covered. It wouldn't be long until she woke but it made her comfortable until then.

Seeing her lying on the bed, her hair splayed out on the pillow, knowing that the reason she was asleep was that she was injured made steves heartache. He knew he shouldn't think of the ‘what ifs’, not when she was absolutely fine, but he couldn't help himself.

He imagined what would have happened if they didn't have T'Challa on their side. That Natasha could have possibly died without the proper medical treatment she needed. Himself and sam could only do so much. He wished they should have double-checked all their intel before going in with riad, god, he couldn't even think about how he would cope if he ever lost her, he'd be devastated, probably turn himself in to the government and just let them have him. but he knew he couldn't take it back. But at this moment, watching her breath in her sleep relaxed him a little, knowing she was fine. She was safe. And she wouldn't feel a thing when she woke up.

Reaching over to her face with his hand, steve gently moves his hand to the side of her face to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. His blue eyes scanned over her face one more time before a sudden thought enters his mind once again. That drawing. She still hadn't found it, but he'd never shown her much of his sketchbook anyway. But it crept up in the back of his mind, especially in moments like this. The thought of asking came to him whilst he watched her, she would wake up and he could just blurt it out. He'd known since they were even together that there was no one else for him. But even if it had been over a year, he didn't quite know if she would be ready for him to ask.

So he decided not too and pushed it into his mind once again. One day hell ask, but it has to be the right moment.

4.1 month before the snap.

This felt familiar.

Lying in bed, in a low star motel, holding the woman he loved in his arms after a few rounds of sex.

In fact, this felt even more familiar, since as he held the blonde Russian all he could think about was marrying her. It had been almost a year since he drew that little sketch in the back of his tattered book. And the idea of asking her was getting stronger by the day.

After their last round of sex, the two curled up in each other embrace and talked their way to sleep, talking about anything and everything that entered their mind in that moment. For Natasha, she was too exhausted to stay awake as long as him and fell asleep not too long ago with his arms wrapped around her back as she laid on top of him with her head on his chest. But Steve, he didn't mind. He got to lay in bed, holding a beautiful woman close to him who he loved. He wouldn't dare move. Natasha was completely out of it and finally relaxed after a few nights of watching their 6.

Turning his head downwards, his eyes landed upon a pile of blonde hair on his chest and a face that it belonged to. She looked perfect. So calm. Like she had no worries in the world. Like it was just the two of them and no one else.

Then steve starts to think about if they lead a normal life. If they had a normal life they could fall asleep like this all the time, they wouldn't have to run every day with the fear of getting caught and thrown in jail. He could see her beautiful face on his chest every day before carefully leaving her in bed whilst he made her breakfast to bring up for her. He could call her his wife. He could get used to calling her that. She would be his wife and him, her husband. He would finally be someone's husband. And not just anybody but Natasha Romanoff's. They would officially be each other’s . He lets his thoughts consume his mind until he finally falls asleep himself. But his last thought before he does is that he doesn't know how or when but he needs to ask her soon. Whether it be next week or a few days. He's going to ask her. But he needs to find the right moment.

5.When Natasha tells him she's pregnant.

He was an idiot. A big idiot. Here Natasha was trying to tell him she was pregnant and he thought she meant she wanted to expand the house. Yeah, he's an idiot.

“You’re pregnant? You're really pregnant?” he breath catches in his throat, the full weight of his words caught up to him as he realises what he's actually asking her. And then she nods.

Steve breathes out a laugh, practically in shock he picks her up at her sides and swings her around in a circle, hugging her close. The redhead laughs at the sudden movement and when he finally puts her down, he kneels on both knees and pulls her closer at her hips, instantly reaching for her shirt to pull it up slightly so he can see her bare stomach. There wasn't anything there and he knew there wouldn't be a bump for a couple more months but just knowing that right now, a baby was growing inside there made him almost pass out.

As he holds her in his hands, steve leans in to kiss her bare skin, just below her belly button. He can feel her fingers start to run through his hair as he does. Once he pulls back he tilts his head back to look up the love of his life. His partner, his spy, the woman who one day would be his wife and all he could do was marvel at her.

Steve was literally consumed in awe at the woman before him, he always had been. Ever since the moment, he had boosted her of his shield to catch a ride on one of the chitauri's ships all those years ago.

She was amazing. And had given him everything he thought he never even wanted or could even have.

And then, once again, a thought came to his mind. He had just said she would one day be his wife. The drawing. He hadn't seen it since he's been back. Hed almost forgot about it actually. That small drawing of a ring he had sketched so many years ago.

There was no doubt about it. He needed to ask. But not now. If he asked now, he felt like it would seem like its just because she's pregnant. She deserved better than that. But this was the final push he needed. He already knew he wanted to ask but this just gave him that extra inspiration to do so.

Looking back at her stomach he gave it another quick kiss before he whispered into her skin.

"I love you so much already.”

And so began the planning.

Plus 1 - The Proposal

It's been 4 months since Natasha told him she was pregnant. 4months of ideas and plans to propose, all that would fall short or weren't good enough for him or even the wrong timing. But that was kind of their thing. He needed it to be perfect but he couldn't find the right way.

….

To make things simple. A few days after Natasha had told him she was pregnant, he took James over to tony's to see morgan, but whilst he was there he asked tony to help him. He needed to find a ring maker, to make the exact ring he wanted. And he needed the best. He would laugh at himself when he catches himself thinking.

‘Only the best for my girl’

Tony was more than happy to help, of course, tony had jokingly poked at the new sketch he had made of his mother's ring since it wasn't as extravagant as tony would have picked, but steve quickly gave his explanation about the ring and how it would be a replica of his mothers. Sarah rogers had been buried with her ring since steve hadn't been able to find out what she wanted to do with it when she died.

But he somehow knew that if his mother was here, or even watching him right now that she would want him to give it to Natasha.

Leaving the sketch with tony, he let the genius handle the arrangements for the ring, which thankfully hadn't been too long. About a month later Once it was done, the soldier took his son over to Tonys once again to get the ring. And it was beautiful, even tony had admitted it was amazing, even for his ‘over the top’ tastes. When hed first glanced at it, steve had stopped breathing for a second. It looked exactly like his moms, it was too breathtaking to describe with words. Natasha would love it. It was just enough.

……

Its a bit chilly on the mid-December night. Even with the heating running through the house, the two avengers still lie close up against one another, soaking up the warmth from each other.

They lied in their usual position of steve spooning Natasha from the back and he holds her to his chest and keeps his arm wrapped around her stomach, protecting their unborn child, she had just started to show last month and the bump was quickly getting bigger every day.

At around 2 am, steve is awakened with a poke. His eyes flutter open slightly in confusion, trying to figure out why he was being woken up. And then he feels it again. A little poke in his shoulder. Carefully pulling away from the redhead in his arms steve turned his head and torso around to see the figure stood at the side of the bed. It doesn't take him long to figure out its James in the darkness.

“Jamie? What are you doing up bud, are you okay?” his voice is a little horse from waking up in the middle of the night but he whispers as best he can.

“I had a nightmare daddy” James's little voice sounded shaky as he told his father what was wrong.

Steves eyebrows furrowed for a second at his son's words, immediately worrying about his son. Glancing back at Natasha asleep, he carefully pulled himself from out under her and swung his legs over the bed, gently picking James up at his sides and carrying him on his hips as he stands up.

“How about we get you a glass of warm milk huh? And you can tell me about your nightmare okay bud?”

James snuffles slightly into steves neck as his father carries him out of their room and downstairs but he nods as steves words.

Once the two boys reach the kitchen, steve sits the young boy on the counter then efforts manoeuvres around the kitchen to pour his son a glass of milk and warm it up for him. After it's done, he passes it to the little blonde and leans against the counter with his arms.

“You wanna tell me about your nightmare?”

“You and mommy died, because of Thanos and me and the baby were left alone and no one was there to save us. Everyone was gone.”

Steves heart almost broke at how sad his son looked. He could see the remnants of tears on his little lashes from where he's been upset. Pushing his arms up, steve stood up to his full height once again and took a few steps towards his sons so they were eye to eye.

“Oh Jamie, you are not alone. me and mom are not going anywhere, I promise you. Thanos is gone remember? We got rid of his ages ago. You don't have to worry about anything okay? We are never going to leave you or the baby.”

Steve could see in his son's eyes that James felt better already. And the enthusiastic nod that followed confirmed it. Talking the empty glass of milk, steve put it in the sink and picked up his son from the counter once again, holding his to his side. The glass of warm milk must have done the trick because it didn't take a few steps up the stairs before James had fallen flat to sleep against his shoulder. Steve let out a little laugh at the sight, feeling a slightly cold patch on his shoulder now from where James had drooled on him. Shaking his head with a smile, steve carefully tucked James back into his bed, kissed his forehead and left the room, quietly shutting the door.

Taking a few strides across the hall, steve ended right back at his and Natasha's room. It's still dark inside meaning Natasha hadn't woken up since he left, but as he got close to their bed, he could see that shed rolled over in her sleep, so she was on her back, comfortable in the middle of the bed. Her bump was sticking out, the pyjama top she was wearing, which was his by the way, curving around it so you could see it better. Her long hair was all over the pillows, the blonde and red flowing everywhere. She looked beautiful. He would never tire of this. Never.

As Steve pulled the cover to get back into the bed, he couldn't help but stare at the bump. A baby was growing in there. Their baby. The midwife and doctors had told them at their last appointment that their baby had just started to develop ears, and that they could actually hear both mom and dad and other noises. It had fascinated steve to no end. Even now, as he looked at the bump, he thought about talking to the baby again.

So not to disturb the redhead, steve shifted himself down the bed, until was laid on his stomach to the left of Natasha, just at the same height as the bump. For a few seconds, Steve lets his insecurities get the better of him. He's nervous. Really Nervous. Technically this is his first baby. Yes, he has James, his son. But he missed out on the first years of his life. He wasn't there to witness his first words or steps or even to change his diaper. He had no idea what he was supposed to do with a baby.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Steve opens his mouth, ready to talk the baby inside Natasha and gently takes his hand to place on top of her bump, careful not to startle or wake the redhead.

“Hey, there baby. I don't know what to say since I've never really talked to you before. But I guess I'm doing that right now aren't I? Your big brother Jamie had a nightmare tonight, about me and your mom. He was afraid he would lose us. I just want you to know, even though you probably have no idea what I'm saying right now since it's all mumbly to you and I probably sounds like an idiot. That I love you so much and so does your mom, we are never going anywhere and we'll never leave either of you. So when you're finally here, you gotta help James remember that, and I'm sure he'll help you too. Your both the most precious things in my life and I guess I'm just a little nervous, to be honest. I just wanna make sure you and James have the best life.” sighing the super-soldier dropped his head, letting himself release his thoughts to the baby. He needed this. Even just a small confession about his worries had made him feel like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Your such a good dad.”

Natasha soft voice startled him slightly, not having realised she had woken up when he had been talking to her bump. Lifting his head, blue eyes meet green in the dark. Natasha lifted her hand to his face, placing it on his bearded chin she moves her thumb back and forth stroking it and he looked at her lovingly.

She's woken up about halfway through his speech to the baby, she was quite amazed she didn't wake up when Jamie had come into their room, but instead, she woke up listening to the worries of her soldier as he held and spoke to their unborn child. She could get used to this, watching him as he spoke to the bump. After stroking his chin Natasha moved her hand to join his on her stomach, placing it on top of his own and threading their fingers together as they cradle it.

“You don't have to be nervous. You are amazing with James, I know you weren't here when he was a baby but ill soon get you changing diapers to make up for it.” she teased him, her mouth curling in the corner to smirk at him.

Steve lets out a quiet laugh at her jokes and replies.

“Gladly” he knew she was joking but he would do anything if she asked. Everything he didn't get to do with James he wanted to make up for with their baby, steve wanted to be there for everything.

“Don't worry Steve, you'll be amazing. I know it.” her calm words reassured him. Giving her one last smile, steve crawled his way up the bed, hoisting one arm over the top of her and the other hand on the other side, so he was hovering about her, his arms by the side of her.

Dipping his head down, steve captures her lips into a kiss, her soft lips melding against his own, like instinct for both of them. As he hovers above her he can just feel the swell of her stomach touching his own, Natasha's hands make their way to his face once again, cupping his cheeks and she kissed him.

After a few seconds, there's a thud. Only small and gentle. But it's there. Pulling away from the kiss, both Natasha and steve looked at each other with confusion and realisation.

The baby. The baby had just kicked for the first time.

“Was that-?” Steve asked.

Smiling at the excitement quickly spreading on his face and the feeling from inside her, Natasha gives him a nod.

“Yeah, I think it was.”

Quickly pushing himself off the top of Natasha, steve crawled down the bed between her legs, stopping once he was at the same level as her bump and placed his large hands over it, completely covering the surface, Natasha also sat herself up, her hands shooting to her stomach and placing them on top of steves to join him in feeling the small movements.

After a few seconds, it happens again. A small kick. Steves's eyes lit up, feeling his child kick for the first time. This was the first time he'd ever felt anything like this, it mesmerised him.

“Oh my god.” He's literally amazed. “That's our baby! Do you think she’ll do it again tomorrow? I can't wait for James to see this.”

“She huh? Don't worry I'm sure he will.”

“Oh no, this one's gonna be a girl I know it.”

And it's in this moment, right here, steve looks up from her stomach and at the woman he was in love with, who's looking down herself waiting to feel the kick of their unborn child once again. Steve decides its perfect. He spent months trying to plan a way to ask her, all of them not being good enough or not what she deserved. But he couldn't take it any longer.

Pushing himself away from Natasha on the bed, he jumps off and practically runs towards their bathroom, turning the light on while he's inside, letting some light into their bedroom. Natasha just sits waiting curiously as she watched steve runoff. But after a minute he's back, with one hand behind his back and his hair in disarray from rushing. He looks nervous, she can tell. But the hesitance in his eyes soon turns to confidence as he convinces himself to walk towards her.

As he takes each step he brings himself around her side of the bed, causing Natasha to follow him by turning herself so her legs are swinging off the side to face her soldier. The bump stopping her from leaning too far forward, making its presence known.

Once their face to face, steve falls to both his knees, bringing him to Natasha’s eye level

“Natasha. I love you. No, I'm in love with you. I love Jamie. I love this baby, I love our life. Everything we have, sometimes I just can't believe it's real.” his words cause her to smile. He always had a thing for romantic speeches but there was something different about this one.

“You're it for me. And I should hope you know that by now. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want to be able to call you my wife.” green eyes widen ever so slightly.

Sitting on his knees in front of her as she sat on their bed, with only the bathroom as a source of light for her to see, steve pulls his arm from behind his back and reaches it out to her. Uncurling his hand she sees a little black box, a box that looks too small for his large hands.

Natasha's eyes flicker in recognition of what this little box means. She tried to keep her face from giving her away but she can't help the smile that makes its way to her face as she looks between steve and the little box.

“This isn't how I planned to do this but it just felt right and I'm sorry if I scared you or you think I'm pressuring you…” he's rambling at this point but Natasha doesn't care, leaning as forward as she could, Natasha grabs steve by his shirt and pulls him to her, capturing his lips into a kiss, and cutting his words off as he falls into a natural rhythm of kissing the woman he loved. Their lips dancing with each other like they had done this all their lives.

After a few moments, they both pulled away breathlessly, their foreheads leaning against one another as Natasha still grabs his shirt and steve holds the box.

“Yes.” quirking his lips up, steve teases her one last time.

“You didn't even let me ask.”

“Then ask soldier.”

Correcting his posture properly, steve straightens his back and pulls one knee up to recreate the iconic pose, like tradition. He then pulls out his hand once again, this time opening the box so Natasha could finally see what the box held inside and he takes a deep breath.

“Natasha Romanoff. You are my life. I can say with all my being that you're my soulmate.”

And then came those famous 4 words. The 4 words he'd thought about saying for years. 4 words that if accepted would make her his for the rest of their lives.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes, you idiot.”

Instantly springing up from his kneeling position, steve leans over and kisses her. Their lips meeting in a passionate embrace as they pour their emotions out into the kiss. But then he pulls away, remembering the box in his hand. Looking down he pulls the ring out of the box as his eyes start to get wetter with his emotions and hold it between his fingers, ready to put the small silver ring on her finger as she holds her hand to him. Sliding the ring onto her, her eyes glisten over as she takes in the sight.

“Steve, It's beautiful.”

“Its a replica of my moms, every time I thought about asking you, it was always this ring I imagined on your finger.”

Natasha is taken aback slightly at his confession, both the fact that it had been specially made for her to look like his mothers and that he's been thinking about asking her for years.

Steve can see the shock on her face and quickly speaks to reassure her.

“Hey, my mother would be so proud and happy to know you are the woman I'm spending the rest of my life with and she’d be even prouder that you're wearing her ring.”

Tears now dropped from her eyes making streaks on her cheeks at his words.

“I love you so much,” she tells him. The only words she can release at the moment. She's too taken away to tell him anything else but is all he needs to hear.

“I love you too Natasha”

#i'm so glad you're back #romanogers #natasha romanoff #Steve Rogers #james rogers #The Avengers #endgame #infinity war #oneshots #captain america #Black Widow

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theliberaltony · 4 years

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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Graphics by Anna Wiederkehr

The National Bureau of Economic Research announced on Monday that the U.S. is officially in a recession. But while the country’s economy is still in dire straits, economists now think the recovery might be quicker — and less painful — than they were expecting a few weeks ago. Our survey of 34 quantitative macroeconomic economists, conducted in partnership with the Initiative on Global Markets at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, found that respondents are increasingly optimistic about the country’s economic trajectory — at least when it comes to employment.

That newfound hope is mostly because of the jobs report released last week. Many of our sample of economists, who work in academic settings, had predicted that the unemployment rate would rise even further — in our first survey in this series, the median prediction was 20 percent. That turned out to be pretty far off the mark: The unemployment rate actually fell from 14.7 percent in April to 13.3 percent in May. The economists who responded to this week’s survey, conducted June 5 through 8, expect that trend to generally continue next month: On average, they estimated that the unemployment rate for June will be 12.9 percent. They also thought the labor market will be in an even better position at the end of the year. The average forecast for the unemployment rate in December was 10.6 percent, and the consensus forecast was that there is a 46 percent chance of the unemployment rate dropping below 10 percent by the end of 2020 (as opposed to an 18 percent chance in our last survey).

But the better-than-expected jobs numbers didn’t convince the economists in our survey that the economy will be back to normal anytime soon. Their forecasts for growth in gross domestic product, for instance, didn’t change much over the past few weeks. Respondents do think the economy will be growing by the end of the year — but nowhere near as quickly as it fell. “Clearly, the economy has started to climb out of the hole, but it’s a very deep hole to start with, and our respondents are not confident that we have begun a strong and sustained recovery,” said Allan Timmermann, professor of finance and economics at the University of California, San Diego. Timmermann and Jonathan Wright of Johns Hopkins University have been consulting with us on the design of the survey.

The forecasters were moved by last week’s jobs news, at least. Those who participated in both rounds of the survey revised their estimates for December’s unemployment rate down by 2.1 percentage points, on average. Mainly, that came from forecasters who had expected very bad unemployment numbers later this year coming down off those estimates: The third of respondents who forecast the highest median December unemployment rates in Round 1 revised their estimated rate down by an average of 3.7 percentage points. (The third who forecasted the lowest rates in Round 1, meanwhile, only revised their estimates down by an average of 0.4 points in Round 2.)

One of the economists who reduced their estimates the most was Wright. “I was very surprised by the May jobs number,” he said. “I had expected a number up around 17 or 18 percent in June with continuing job losses. It looks to me like the process of calling people back to work has begun earlier than I had expected. The fact that it begins early somewhat reduces the damage done and so makes the outlook for the second half of the year better.”

Valerie Ramey, professor of economics at University of California, San Diego, echoed Wright’s more hopeful sentiments. “The jobs report for May was a complete surprise to me (and many others),” Ramey said. “States are loosening up restrictions faster than I anticipated.” She added that the combination of those two factors — along with what she saw as “promising evidence on the COVID front” — made her more optimistic about both the pandemic and the economy. “If COVID is not so deadly, I think that even a second spike in cases will not result in severe lockdowns, such as the one we have just experienced.”

But not every expert we surveyed was equally swayed by the less-horrible-than-expected unemployment figures. Menzie Chinn, professor of public affairs and economics at the University of Wisconsin, said he was weighing the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ ongoing difficulties in collecting data on laid-off workers, along with developments in COVID-19 cases. He kept his December unemployment forecast the same as it had been two weeks ago, when his forecast was among the most optimistic. He told us he anticipated that the BLS will eventually be able to resolve an issue with worker classification that may have excluded some furloughed workers, which could cancel out the effect of more people going back to work. Unlike Ramey, he was expecting a resurgence in cases that could lead to new state-level lockdowns. “In this respect I’m more of a pessimist than the average respondent, I expect,” he said.

And even if the latest consensus is that the labor market is rebounding more quickly than expected, the economists weren’t optimistic that unemployment will plummet over the coming months. In our first survey, experts thought there was a 37 percent probability that the unemployment rate wouldn’t return to single digits until the second half of 2021 or later; now that probability is only 20 percent. Yet they still think it’s more likely than not that unemployment stays above 10 percent the entire rest of 2020.

“The rebound in jobs in the May data may be the easy part of the recovery in the sense that some workers were furloughed and are being called back as the economy reopens,” Wright said. “But other workers have more permanently lost their jobs.”

Still, the survey was somewhat sanguine about unemployment overall. That was also true for the experts’ assessment of what will happen with inflation. We asked experts whether they thought the core personal consumption expenditure inflation rate would either drop below zero (i.e., deflation), stay between 0 and 3 percent — where it has consistently sat for decades — or rise above 3 percent by the end of 2022. Our sample of economists thought there was an 80 percent chance it would stay in its usual range, with a 13 percent chance of inflation over 3 percent and a 7 percent chance of deflation. So despite concerns that the Federal Reserve’s monetary response to the coronavirus could cause runaway inflation or deflation, the consensus is that inflation rates will remain in a relatively normal range.

That measured confidence did not extend to overall economic growth, however, as the panel’s forecasts for GDP barely budged over the past two weeks. The average estimated second-quarter (annualized, quarter-over-quarter) GDP growth in the survey is now -26.1 percent, with an 80 percent confidence interval between -35 percent and -18 percent. While respondents thought there was slightly more of a chance that GDP recovers sooner than 2022, they increased the odds of it happening by the middle of 2021 only from 11 percent to 12 percent:

When will real GDP catch up to its pre-crisis (Q4 2019) level?

Consensus-forecast probabilities for when U.S. gross domestic product will return to its pre-coronavirus level, by date of survey

Probability Timeframe Round 1 (May 25) Round 2 (June 8) Earlier than the 1st half of 2021 0.6% 1.7% 1st half of 2021 10.7 10.5 2nd half of 2021 17.5 21.0 1st half of 2022 18.6 22.0 2nd half of 2022 21.4 20.1 Later than the 2nd half of 2022 31.3 24.6

Probabilities are based on the average from a survey of 34 economic experts.

Source: FiveThirtyEight/IGM COVID-19 Economic Survey

Although respondents think GDP will probably be growing at the end of the year (with an expected final-quarter growth estimate of +4.2 percent on average), that number is unlikely to be large enough to offset the economic damage from when the recession began — although it also depends, of course, on how much the economy recovers in the third quarter. And uncertainty about GDP remains as high as ever. In fact, the average range between the upper and lower bounds of respondents’ 80 percent confidence interval about second-quarter GDP growth increased from 17.5 percentage points two weeks ago to 18.2 points this week.

Karen Dynan, an economics professor at Harvard University and former chief economist at the U.S. Department of Treasury, said she remained pessimistic about second-quarter GDP because the reopening of the economy was mostly unfolding the way she expected. The more difficult exercise, she told us, was trying to predict what will happen in the second half of the year because there are still so many unknowns — like our limited understanding of the virus, a lack of information about how consumer and household finances are being affected, and how effective the government will be at implementing public health measures that make people feel comfortable leaving their homes again.

So while the jobs report appears to have made many of the respondents in the survey think the recovery won’t be as painful as they initially predicted, they also don’t think it’s a sign that the economy will be bouncing back quickly. Overall, the economists stressed that we shouldn’t read too much into one good jobs report — and that the jobs report provided only a small measure of hope to an economic outlook that remains bleak otherwise.

“In the recovery, we will see some months and quarters of much improved economic conditions, but this still does not mean that the economy is back to health,” Wright said. “1933 was a year of great growth, but it was still in the depths of the Great Depression.”

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #Neil Paine and Amelia Thomson-DeVeaux

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