#but im so proud of my self for reaching a point where i can love my pre-trans self | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koostarcandy · 1 year

Text

sweet thing

summary: a night where jungkook comes back to your sweet self, paired with long hugs and silencing kisses.

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff, there's nothing else you can expect here in star candy land ^^ slight mention of smut, should i mention jaykay has a bike here?

a/n: im putting out everything i can before i get busy again :// inspired by those eyes by new west :3 this is the same universe as the hold on couple but can be read as a stand-alone! oktybyeeee ilyyyyy <3!

sweetheart: found the bell peppers! we're making that pasta tonight 😤 see you tonight, love you ♡

jungkook re-reads your text, smiling wider each time. he shuts down his gadgets and grabs his helmet, rushing out so he could reach you faster. today was nothing short of long and draining, from half awake coffee making to zoning out at the big computer screen, it was all equally taxing, a routine he was slowly losing himself to.

he impatiently waits at a red light, looking out at pedestrians waddling on the rain soaked road infront of him. he sees worried mothers running after hyperactive children, teenagers sharing earphones and vibing, the elderly holding each other's hands to make sure they cross the road safely. these small things make him believe there's still hope in this world but his biggest reason for persisting will always be you.

you, with your fond smile and shimmery eyes when you see him at the end of a day.

with you all but jumping on him, trusting him to catch you. you try to hold him impossibly closer, landing kisses on every bit of skin of showing. you over him, bare chest to bare chest, heaving in breathlessness, stroking his tattoos and kissing your favourite ones. he gets ticklish when you do that, so you make it a point to kiss him all over, down to his fingers with boxing bruises. you sit up, scold him lightly for being too hard on his poor hands but sending him a proud gaze for progressing in his hobby.

jungkook plays his favourite memories of you in his head over like a broken record. times of you getting drunk and giggly over a bottle of peach soju and dragging him to every karaoke bar in sight. or when you made spicy cheese tteokbokki for 2 weeks straight, amazed that you never got bored of it. it could even be you snuggled into him at the crack of daylight, arms wrapping around him like the prettiest vines. you always press kisses on his chest, hands intertwining with his.

when he misses you deeply, like now, you are the only thing, the sweetest and most precious thing, on his mind.

"wow, immersion blenders are pretty fucking cool, huh?"

jungkook chuckles into your neck at your child-like enthusiasm, strong arms wrapping around you even tighter. the smell of roasted peppers, garlic and tomatoes are all over in your kitchen and the most distinct one in his sensitive nose, is you. his favourite jasmine lulls him into a sense of calm, ears tuned to your mid-cooking commentary and occasional humming.

"are we done yet? i wanna eat and sleep and watch wednesday with you," jungkook whines for the nth time into your neck, suddenly feeling the full effects of yesterday's leg day. you turn and kiss him, effectively shutting him up. your hands settle on the back of his neck, playing with the nape of his hair. he steadies himself with his hands on your hips, recognizing your foolproof tactic of keeping him quiet.

"patience, my dearest," you smile into his lips, "good things come to those who wait, you know that better than anyone else, koo."

"this pasta better be really freaking good, sweetheart."

"oh my god, this is the best thing that has ever been in my mouth."

"ugh, stop moaning, koo, your cute lil eyebrows are more than enough and are you sure about that? it's high praise."

"oh, my bad. you'll always be the number one when it comes to-"

"shut up and eat, there's a child here!"

jungkook laughs his elmo laugh, eyes immediately shifting to his beloved doberman. said child is half asleep, tired from playing around with his appa. your pink cheeks are full from the pasta you've made, your eyes becoming happy crescents when it falls on him. he keeps his empty plate aside, scooting closer to you. you take the hint and keep everything aside, sipping your soju-yakult-soda drink for a palate cleanse.

"oh, my big baby," you coo, cupping jungkook's cheeks and rubbing the apples of them. you place kisses on his head, recognizing your favourite vanilla shampoo on him. he curls into you, burying his face in your neck. you wrap him up with the fluffy blanket you've kept on the sofa for nights like these.

bunched up and tensed shoulders finally go down, breathing becoming even and scrunched forehead smoothing over. the jaunty music from the show you're both watching fade into the background, holding your lover as close as possible.

you love the fact that you're one of the first people in jungkook's mind to turn to for comfort because you'd give it to him anytime and any day. this is one of your favourite parts of your late nights together, wrapped in each other and drifting to dreamland and mind full of sweet things.

pt time: @armys-dna ; @junsai-tree ; @soobhyun ; @shatzkrinslinzki ; @jinsquishes ; @cherishoshi ; @fragmentof-indifference ; @indgio ; @jjkeverlast ; @parkdatjimin

#jungkook x reader #jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #bts jungkook #bts fluff #bts x reader

1K notes · View notes

eirian · 8 months

Text

i think a lot about how much ive grown and changed as a person, not the least of which being how i went from a super heavy kinnie to someone who hardly kins at all

my journey with kinning was like...idk. it started with learning about what otherkin was, and i realized that damn i have a super strong connection with demons for some reason, and i genuinely wished i was an actual demon. this was in 2013 ish. that was my first time calling myself a kinnie

then my first experience with fictionkin specifically was with...unfortunately, prussia from hetalia lol. that was my first fictionkin. then shit got out of control from there bc then i proceeded to keep tacking on fictional characters onto my identity until they BECAME my identity.

i became a kinnie at a very interesting and formative part of my life--the mid-teen years. and honestly? i dont think it was the healthiest thing for my growth. b/c my identity sort of became...nonexistent for a while? i based my whole self around fictional characters. i didnt want to be myself because i didnt know who "myself" was. and unfortunately this lasted into my...well, mid-20s. im 26 now and it took me until i was ABOUT 24 to actually find my real core identity outside of fictional characters to the point of where i was proud and happy to know myself and call myself just...dan. thats me! im not dan plus fu, kidou, raditz, etc....im just dan. and thats enough!

so for me, being a kinnie was a result of not knowing who i was and using fictional characters to sort of fill in that hole in my identity. i wanted to be them b/c i didnt know who myself was, or maybe i didnt like who i was either and wanted to replace myself with them. i loved fu and lots of other ppl did, so i wanted to be him so i could be loved like that. i wanted to be funny like him. i wanted to be strong like raditz. i wanted to be smart and athletic like kidou. i wanted to be cool like dan phantom. i wanted to be anything but the real me and that hampered my growth as a person for a very, very long time

it took me a long while to reach the point im at right now--where im confident in my identity and dont need to use fictional characters as a crutch. and im not necessarily saying being fictionkin is inherently bad--it can be fun or even used to cope with situations such as trauma, i understand that--but when it came to me and my own situation, i excused it as being a "spiritual" thing and sort of clung to the idea that i was "soul-connected" to fictional characters who existed in another universe at the same time as me...which in retrospect was kind of a reach lol. but like. idk. it ended up not being spiritual at all even though i convinced myself it was. it was due to identity issues and, to an extent, actual real delusions--i genuinely thought that i HAD to uncover and piece together my "canon" lives to the point of obsession. it was super unhealthy for me and brought me so much unnecessary stress, everyone around me could see it too.

so uh. what am i tryna conclude here. i guess like. be careful? if youre a fictionkinnie, especially a young one, please take the time to do some introspection. is it just for fun? is it a lighthearted thing? or are you so intensely deep into it that its a huge part of your identity to the point of where you lost your actual self? to the point of having breakdowns over doubles? can you function in life without the kin part?

for the record, i still consider myself generally otherkin--i do still heavily identify with demons and have dreams of being a demon and all that good kin stuff. but its not who i am. i have a list of fictional characters i kin still--hidden and not advertised anymore--but its at the back of my mind now and is more of a casual "oh yeah im raditz haha" kind of thing if that makes sense? its not affecting my life as much as it did anymore and im happy about that

i hope nobody takes this personally lol. im just basically airing my thoughts about my own kin journey out and sharing my experience and thoughts abt the thing as a whole. end text post

8 notes · View notes

traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

Note

TW: CSA; asian fetishization, particularly sexualization of asian women; incest, incestuous sexual abuse; abusive relationships; grooming; 'weeaboo' behavior; self harm

looking for advice? support? idk i'm just so upset

i have DID and ptsd and i think a lot of it is connected to my white dad who was very fetishistic about asian women (my mom is asian) and would sexualize me as a child and also touch me inappropriately. i remember when i was a child (10 years) him talking about how apparently all men know that the specific mix of ethnicities i am is the most attractive. he also sexually mistreated me and i know wanted a female child (i was afab) so i can't help but think i was brought into the world becasue of the sex fantasy of my father who was trying to make the optimal sex race in his eyes. i'm trying to understand the concept of consent and other things now (i did not know i had a right to reject sexual advances or much of any other rights at all) and i'm having trouble adjusting to the world, although it is much better than the world at home.

one thing that keeps bothering me is 'weeaboos,' white people who are seemingly quite proud to proclaim their love of 'japanese culture' as a thin veil for fetishization. it's so common and widespread and in my living situation in college i encounter so many images of sexualized, often childlike or explicitly child characters, anime drawings. it really upsets me and my brain fog is so bad it's hard to explain why these things are wrong and perpetuate the same type of sexual violence that ruined my life. things were so much worse before, why does this bother me so much? i just feel unsafe i guess and things upset me more now that i know i'm supposed to have rights. the worst thing is sometimes it's inarticulatable. for example what caused me to have bad dissociation and flashbacks today were posters for some sort of 'cat maid' performance, with a 'anime' girl in a maid outfit. i don't know how to explain how i KNOW that this comes from fetishization of asian women! i just KNOW! and it upsets me because i can't explain. i hate that white people expect me to be polite and bring it up to them instead of tearing it down myself, they want me to politely debate them when im the one who hurts so bad trying to talk about it, it affects me not them. (this happened before)

i just feel so unsafe and when i have gone to multiple of my friends for support, they stop responding to me after i talk about being sexually abused as a child. it's like i disgust them. i hate myself so much and no one will help me. i feel so alone. and i hate therapists more than anyone, i have gone to over 7 therapists and i hated all of them.. they don't understand my experiences or respect me. it's so hard to reach out to friends and talk about what i've gone through and i don't know what to do that they ignore me. and the friends who do respond to me only respond to my messages after i mention something else- usually a favor i can do for them. it's so hard to trust anyone and i've had my trust betrayed several times. the only thing i can think of to do is self harm. i've been through too much in my life and i can't handle it anymore. i have so little support in my life to the point where i desparately miss the 30+ year old white man who groomed me when i was 16 and want to talk to him. i feel like there is no one i can trust but i crave going back to people who hurt me

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you, as well as what you've been going through more recently.

It makes sense why those portrayals are bothersome and perhaps even triggering for you. It reminds you of the way you believe your dad wanted you to be. I can see how being calm and collected feels impossible when it's so brazenly reminiscent of your trauma.

It sounds like many people in your life you tried talking to about your trauma, friends and therapists, weren't equipped with the proper emotional response and multicultural approach that you were looking for. They simply weren't understanding enough and you felt invisible. You don't deserve to feel that way.

I hope that you find people to surround yourself with that do make you feel seen and heard as a survivor, and can respect your thoughts on asian fetishization.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #abuse #child abuse #SA #tw r #tw sh

9 notes · View notes

mejomonster · 2 years

Text

I watched this video essay on a queer reading of majima (which is easy to do... so easy im shocked there's straight people who play who think if you do act queer you're "just joking" because majima I feel is written flirty enough - and caring enough sincerely - it's a bit rude to just assume all queer actions are just a straight man joking. Not to mention he's clearly taking a page from nishitani who I don't think was joking at all about being horny for majima. But whatever. Just like bi people exist and a straight audience going he Loved Makoto! He had a wife! So anyrhing in his whole life that was queer must've been a joke! Sure seems like... ugh).

Anyway one thing the essay pointed out, which is actually intentional on the part of the writers, is how majimas entire Yakuza 0 narrative is very relatable to a queer experience. That part, while all the queerness majima clearly IS could be clueless writers (like when they have him say he's not into women, when they have him say he's horny for kiryu and wants them to go bang in a hotel etc), that part where Majimas entire arc is about being trapped in a box and putting on an act to survive.

And his growth of breaking free from that box to become his authentic self - a very loud, flashy, unique individual who's proud of who he is and likely will do a lot to never be put into that cage again. That particular growth is a very queer narrative arc. It relates to an even broader audience of course, but it's also very very resonant to being in the closet, to being trapped in a life with expectations and threats, to knowing if you make your own choices people will be hostile, to having to fight to embrace who you are and loving who you are so much you're willing to become yourself. Fight to make your own choices and live your own way and be Yourself. I think that specific story in Yakuza 0 is why the games won me over (among a few reasons but this definitely hit close to my heart) and why to me majima read So clearly queer to me. I'd literally gone through his exact situation but a civilian version instead of a gang version. I'd been in a cage, threatened if I was myself, harmed for making my own choices and yet so desperate to get out. Id been broken, id had to figure out how to get through it. And like majima at the end of it all? I fucking cut off all my hair, changed my look, and lived very Clearly as me in a fuck you to the people who controlled me and to lovingly be kind to myself and the me I wanted to get to be allowed to be now that I could. I'd been majima in the cabaret, perfect at putting on the act and being the perfect servant and doing everything asked of me only to still be Not good Enough to be allowed out of the cage. I'd eventually like majima decided fuck it im making my own decisions as awful as the consequences are, and like majima I survived it somehow and got out and got to finally be me. His Yakuza 0 arc hits so intensely close to home. (And beyond a queer narrative I'm sure it reaches a lot of people in controlling situations, trapped, abused, expected the world and never able to get whatever approval would improve things because the approval likes them trapped). Anyway just, that very particular arc does happen to be deeply relatable to the queer experience.

(Even with the addition of majima so reluctant to embrace his own sexuality during it in Any way - the way he will distance himself from women even just to be friends because he's trapped and controlled and doesn't want the pain of it ending or them being hurt, how even him just growing to care for Makoto like any kind average person would.. is used against him by Shimano, how Nishitani can embrace his sexuality fully and seems Indulgent compared to majimas restraint and yet we know later majima admired the fuck out of that open passion and ended up embracing an open sexuality when he got free no doubt inspired by how wonderful freedom looked. But yeah all of Yakuza 0 people can get hurt, and abusers can threaten him. If he shows passion or love. And so he's very bottled up and isolates himself and buries his care for others. Which... I don't need to say how much hiding your feelings and sexuality resonates as a queer narrative.)

And then like I mentioned, majimas yakuza 0 arc ends with Majima dressing more flamboyant and flashy, and cutting his hair to indicate his freedom, and embracing a more honest version of himself. Yes, he's still majima so he will be using his brain and lying or keeping quiet as appropriate to help himself and others. But it's the decision to live more authentically here, that allows majima to become the man who Can make a friend in kiryu and warn kiryu Shimanos going to attack, who can walk into Tojo HQ and drop money and tell off everyone for their greed and point out their idea of leadership is going to tear the clan apart, allows him to be the person who is so much more free to Act than the person he was in his cage in Yakuza 0.

While there's a lot in yakuza games to make a queer reading of (a lot), I think the particular arc of Majima above is probably the biggest most obvious one. One that was purposely put as a huge character arc (though who knows what the writers intended). Where yeah as much as I clearly read a lot of shit queer, certain audiences will see it as a joke or not serious or unimportant. But then there's big parts like this, where the intent was certainly to tell a story about how it's good to authentically live as yourself and strive to. Which was a nice message for me to hear.

#yakuza #yakuza 0 #lb #meta #dont take this two seriously this is a rambling liveblog post

21 notes · View notes

lemony-snickers · 2 years

Note

Im really proud of you for choosing what feels right for you, rather than what you think people expect of you. It can be a really hard thing to do and you're doing it. You've created some absolutely gorgeous work, and we will continue to love them, but you are under no obligation to continue something that hurts you. You deserve better than that and I completely relate. There are months and months every year where I can't write. I don't want to, it hurts to try, so I don't. Inevitably an idea comes, I work on that, and then I stop when it doesn't make me happy to continue. It's an extremely healthy thing to do according to my psychologist, because writing is meant to be a hobby. When it stops being that, it's time to step away until you come back to it naturally. I hope one day you see the value in yourself and your work, but for now, rest, recuperate, find what brings you joy in the here and now because ultimately that's what matters most -- 💚

i do wish i could write forever, you know? but it just isn't sustainable. i think i've just fundamentally broken the part of me that used to enjoy doing it by trying so hard and so long for nothing (or, to be more fair, i suppose, what amounts to very little).

i used to work as a content writer. for like two years pre-pandemic, i churned out 8k words on average per day as my job. i thought i was good at it, but it turns out i wasn't good enough at it. and i definitely supplanted that same desire to write so much with fanfiction after i lost my job, especially during quarantine.

like, this drive to create something had to be put to some use, you know? and fanfic was it. and then i tried some original writing, which no one wanted anything to do with and after about two dozen rejections i finally just quit writing original content altogether because it just hurts to have everyone say, "oh, no thank you" every time you put yourself out there.

i guess i had hoped fanfiction would be able to fill this, like, gaping wound i have created in myself, but that was an unfair thing to expect. i was never going to be as satisfied by this as i wanted to be because, as i said recently, i kept moving the goal post, you know? kept saying, "okay, well that was fine, but i want more."

more engagement, more love, more sense of accomplishment. more recognition. i'm a very solipsistic person at heart, i guess, huh? maybe we all are, idk.

but there's only so much of any of those things i can get doing what i am doing, being who i am and subscribing to the limitations thereof.

i don't know what is "best" for me, if i'm honest. except for getting my ass back to therapy which i have been trying to do for more than a year only to be rejected over and over again just like with the writing which is--

i am getting off topic, but you can imagine how it is, probably, lol.

i am just struggling to figure out how to be satisfied with a life i find deeply disappointing, i think. and i'm not sure how i'm going to do that, but i have reached a point where writing fanfic hurts more than it helps, usually.

god i'm sorry i hijacked this thing for another self-pity wank and i don't even know how to stop myself.

thank you for the kind message. i'm sorry i am just word vomiting all the time, now. but, i hope you know i am truly grateful. and i'm so glad you are able to recognize this cycle of your own writing and to still find joy in it when you can. i hope i can learn to do that someday, too. <3

#ask #and answered #💚 anon

12 notes · View notes

the-vodka-came-diluted · 1 year

Text

I don't know how many people still look at this account, but I thought I would give a bit of a life update :]

Im turning 21 in June and i'm doing much better than I was when I was on here, I'm still disordered and anxious, but less than I was. I ended up going to counselling summer last year 2 days before my birthday for my mental health as my anxiety was getting to the point where I had started developing agoraphobia, through that I ended up on Sertraline for the anxiety and depression as I was also still incredibly suicidal.

Things have been going a lot better since then, R (previously E), someone I had posted about alot, and I are best friends still, I accepted through counselling and improving myself that what I felt for him was actually infatuation caused by my mental health and a need to feel loved, they've done a lot of self improvement as well, and addressed the things they said to me, I forgave him a long time ago and things have settled now, sometimes when you put two mentally ill ND queers in a close friendship from a young age, shit gets messy and then you mature and become best friends who can trust eachother again.

Someone else I posted about, F who was my ex at the time, came back into my life and I realised she was the only person I had genuinely ever felt a romantic connection to, which sounds silly when you read everything I said about R before, but as I said, mental illness is wild lmao I was convinced I had to end up with R or I would be alone, he was the only other openly lesbian/queer person I knew from the age of 12 with similar experiences to me. F came back into my life and things have been going so much better since then, we spent over a year talking again and eventually confessed to eachother, she helped me leave my abusive mums house and we currently live together with our 2 cats and her emotional support dog, I love her more than I can express on here, I never thought I would get to be in a relationship like this where things are so calm and and loving, instead of blowing up at eachother over things, we sit down and talk about why something has upset us and how we can change it in the future, she's my whole world and even though it's not even a year being together again, I'd gladly spend the rest of my life with her 💜

As for things with my mum, she has just recently gotten out of a toxic relationship, things blew up a while back before I left, she got violent and police were called, so I left with a lot of encouragement from F and others. A lot of the cause of her becoming even more shitty than she already was, was her at the time new bf, she was drinking every day with him, abandoning my younger siblings and leaving them to me days at a time to drink with him, being homophobic, and was getting more and more physical and while she has hit me before, she hit me and my brother for being gay, which honestly hurt so much more than any punch or slap or shove she had thrown before. She was also doing a lot of shit to me mentally still that I had just had enough of. Through it all I kept trying to support her and help her leave her dickhead bf, in the end it was better for my own sake to leave, i think if i hadn't i wouldn't be here right now despite my MH doing much better than it had been. She recently had to call the police on him for causing her physical harm, and she reached out to me, while I'm still wary of her intentions, it seems like she's on the road to healing as well, she apologised for making me feel how she did for most of my life and says she's going to start counselling and wants to rebuild our relationship when I'm ready. Even though she was a big part of why I am the way I am, I'm proud of her for getting help and the fact that she has addressed how she treated me has given me a lot of closure.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this, I know "it gets better" stories are cringe and annoying, but it genuinely does get better. I still have my down days but much less of them and less intensely. I still have derealisation and dissociation episodes, but I don't think of my CSA trauma much anymore or have as many nightmares, I'm with someone who relates to and understands my traumas and mental health, theres no pressure to be intimate bc she's also ace, I'm a few months clean of SH and F reminds me how proud she is of me being clean, I don't abuse substances like alcohol or my sleeping meds or drugs that are offered to me and haven't in a very long time, apart from nic maybe but it's not in a self destructive way and I love my fruity air, don't judge, at least I'm not still smoking weed every day or snorting MDMA or downing pills offered to me in the woods at night to feel like a real alive human 😭💀 I've cut out a lot of toxic people and friend groups, and my dad and I are talking again and he's so supportive of me, things really do get better when you give them a chance 💜 I hope ya'll are doing well too :]

Oh! And F bought me a binder, so now I'm a lot less dysphoric too, she's honestly the best :']

That's all I have to say really, ik I'm just ranting to the void rn but i hope this inspires at least one person who sees it :D

#vent #drugs mention #disordered eating mention #alcohol mention #abuse mention #mental illness #lots of mental illness #but it gets better #csa tw #abuse tw #drugs tw #ed tw

4 notes · View notes

strwbrryeyes · 3 months

Text

𖦹°｡⋆ broken mugs and new beginnings

⟡ featuring: osamu

⟡ cw: reader is stressed, dramatic, like really dramatic, idk man i just miss my mug

⟡ a/n: the smallest of drabbles because i broke my mug today and it was my breaking point </3 so yes this is self indulging leave me alone. i also just felt like posting today even if it isn't either of the series im supposed to be working on (i swear im working on them)

"babe, can you please go wash your mug?" your boyfriend, osamu asks you referring to the pink mug that was sitting on the counter next to your sink. it had been there for a few days after you drank hot chocolate. the reason you hadn't washed it properly yet was because you let it sit overnight after you finished drinking it and the leftover residue had harden leaving you to let soapy water soak in it. the problem was...it's now been 'soaking' for three days. it's not like you've been lazy, you've just been busy and had a stressful week so lately you've just been moping around. osamu knew this but he thought that you getting up and doing something somewhat productive may pull you out of this funk. he would soo find out that he was so wrong.

"ahhh...fine..." you groan as you get up from the couch. it was only one mug and you knew osamu was only trying to help you, you knew he was worried about you so you just agreed and walked over to the sink where he was standing holding the mug filled with water. you take the mug from him and he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

"thank you, my love" he then gives you a small peck "you got this, i believe in you!" osamu exclaims giving you a pat on the shoulder before walking back to the living room.

after a few seconds of standing doing nothing, you sigh and finally pour out the three day old soaking water and beginning to properly wash it.

'this is actually easy' you think to yourself slightly smiling as you admire the now clean cup. it's a small achievement but after the week you've just had, you felt like things were finally starting to pick up!

being proud of this little feat, you set it down quickly before you rush over to osamu to come drag him back into the kitchen.

"baby! come look! it's all clean!" you excitedly say as you pull him by the sleeve of his hoodie.

"really? that's so good! i'm so proud of you." osamu praises you as he looks at the freshly clean pink mug that you had picked up to show him in a fancy manner.

"thank you! you know," you start out as you turn around to open the cabinet where you would put the mug "this is what i needed. me cleaning this cup is just the start of thing starting to lo-" you're cut off by a cracking and crashing noise.

you slowly turn around to face osamu, whose face is in shock, eyes wide opened and everything, then look back to your hand- your now, empty, hand, and finally your eyes land on the ground only to see the pink fragments of ceramic shattered all over the ground. the mug had slipped out of your hand.

"baby-" osamu walks closer to you to try and calm you down but before he could reach you, you fell to your knees and buried your face in your hands.

"my whole day is ruined, samu." you sob out, all the stress form the past week finally floods out of your system, the breaking of your favorite mug being the thing to finally break you.

"no no no," osamu squats down in front of you, using his finger to lift your chin up "your day is not going to be ruined because of some stupid mug." he tries his best to reassure you but the words 'stupid mug' only trigger more sobs from you.

"i've had that mug since freshman year of college though!" you cry out clinging onto his chest.

osamu lets out a sigh. he knows how much you loved this mug and how long you've had it but he was still determined to make you feel better somehow. "okay, look, listen to me, yn" he says and a soft but stern tone causing you to whip your head up at him again. "i know you loved that mug, but look at it this way." he stands up and goes to get a broom from across the kitchen.

"not everything was meant to last forever, right?" he asks when he comes back to where you were sitting, next to the broken mug. you nod in response as you scooch over to give him room to sweep.

"exactly. so that means, this mug, was not meant to last forever. just like this awful week is not going to last forever." osamu says as he goes over to the trash bin. "so what we're going to do here is throw away the broken pieces of this mug, and buy you a new one." he dumps out the broken pieces.

he walks back over to you and your tear stained face and sits next to you "and then, we're going to take the rest of today, and forget about this last week, and look forward to the new week ahead of us." osamu says as he turns your face to look at him so he can brush your hair away from your face "sound like a plan?" he asks looking at you with love and care.

"sounds like a plan..." you respond quietly, crawling into his lap. you didn't care that you were on the kitchen floor. it didn't matter that it was cold or dirty from the cooking osamu had just done moments prior to the mug incident. all that mattered was that you had a loving boyfriend who could talk you down in any situation, who is always patient with you, and always looks for the good in every bad situation and you wouldn't have it any other way.

so instead of dwelling on the loss of your mug and all the hardships you've been through this week, you follow through with the plan of getting a new mug, and go into the next week optimistic and excited because you knew that this week was going to be so much better than the last and that osamu will do anything to make sure that happens.

#𖦹°｡⋆ 𝓃𝒾𝓃𝒾 #osamu x reader #osamu miya x reader #osamu miya fluff #osamu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu #osamu miya #miya osamu #hq x reader

63 notes · View notes

purple-babygirl · 3 years

Note

hi im not sure if you’re taking requests so you can ignore this if you’d like, but i really liked your mafia bucky fic !! and i was wondering if you could do one where maybe someone breaks into the house and the reader has to force themselves to be big for a little bit just so they can fight them off and then she runs to the little safe room and goes little there and Bucky finds her there and comforts her and it’s just all fluffy? sorry if this is so specific i just loved the last fic sm 😅

Pairing: Mafia!Daddy!Bucky Barnes x f!little!reader

Word count: 1,958

Warnings: reader gets attacked (includes harassment and mentions of violence, cursing, guns), reader gets hurt, mentions of killing, Bucky's softness (yes it's a warning), ddlg dynamics.

A/N: I've been holding onto this one for forever now I'm really sorry for taking so long, dear nonnie🥺 it means the world to me that you liked mafia!daddy!bucky and i hope i delivered with this one and that you like it as much, love. Please enjoy ily xx💜

safe

You’re a big girl.

You’re a big girl. You can do this.

It all happened too fast. She woke up to guns shooting, Bucky’s men yelling at each other before all the voices suddenly stopped and the door to their bedroom was violently kicked open.

She didn’t even have time to scream before she was dragged from under the large bed by her ankle.

You’re a big girl.

You’re a big girl. Just like Daddy taught you.

“Let go! You don’t wanna do this!” she shrieked, warning the person trying to snatch her off the floor, her leg kicking as she struggled to flee his vice-like hold.

She’d suddenly forgotten every single self-defense move Bucky has ever taught her and was thrashing in panic.

“Oh, I don’t?” the man laughed, his grip painful on her limb as he tried to get on top of her.

She screamed when he dug his fingernails in the flesh of her shin, forcing her legs apart.

“Such a delicate little thing.” He licked his lips when he drew blood, running his gun up her bare leg, pressing down when it reached her inner thigh, “beg me to let you go.”

The words infuriated her big self. If Bucky had taught her one thing that she could never forget it was how dear and precious she was.

“Do you know who my man is?” Her free foot collided with the intruder’s chin, hitting him just right for his teeth to slam together, making him groan and loosen his grasp.

“I beg no one for nothing.” She spat, clumsily standing up, rushing inside Bucky’s large walk-in closet.

“You’re gonna regret that, you little bitch!” The masked man threatened, banging his fist on the door, “I’m gonna make that man of yours weep blood over your dead slut body!”

Her breath was coming out in puffs as tears blurred her vision. With trembling fingers, she moved Bucky’s hung-up suits to the side, revealing the metal door to the panic room.

You’re a big girl.

You’re a big girl. Just a bit longer.

She could hear the man take a few steps back and she knew he was going to shoot the closet open. Her shaky fingers pushed the buttons and typed the number code, the date of the day Bucky had asked her to be his.

I feel safe knowing I have you, angel, so it’s only fit that we make it the safe room code, he'd told her with a playful shrug.

She slid inside as soon as the door moved, pushing her back against the concrete wall, trying to take her breath. The door clicked shut right before the wooden one to the closet was thrown open.

You’re a big girl.

You’re a big girl. You got this.

She let out a relieved sigh that broke into a sob as she tiredly slid down the wall, still hearing the scary man curse, bang and shoot on the safe room door.

Where was Bucky? She couldn’t hold on any longer. This wasn’t a situation she wanted to be present in. Her body started folding up, taking fetal position as her mind led her to the safer side against her better will. Even her fists closed upon themselves, tears leaving her eyes and traveling down the bridge of her nose. She was losing consciousness of her present surroundings, pictures of Bucky’s eyes spreading in her vision instead of the dull, grey walls of the room.

She was crying too loudly to hear the firing of Bucky’s gun right outside the door or the peeping of the door as it slid open once again.

“Angel!” Bucky’s voice sounded so distant. She felt like she was drowning with how muffled his calls were to her ears.

Seeing her body shake with sobs on the floor like that made Bucky want to walk out and shoot the man’s dead body again and again until he couldn’t be identified.

How dare they send someone here? How dare they violate the sanctity of his home? They were certainly not going to live another day to repeat or repent from their sins.

“Angel, are you hurt?” He kneeled beside her, gently untangling her limbs to check if she was wounded anywhere.

Aside from a couple of nasty scratches by her ankle, she was physically okay and Bucky could breathe a little better as his body sagged on the floor.

He swallowed and lifted her on his lap, signaling his men to leave when they stepped in the room to check if they were needed after ‘cleaning up’.

“Get me water.” Was all he said and they were running to the nearest fridge.

“I’m sorry, my angel. I’m here now. You’re okay.” Bucky mumbled, lips hovering over her temple.

“Dada.” Her body leaned into his warmth but her cries didn’t stop and Bucky could only hold her closer as he tried not to let guilt rip him apart.

She was like that now because of him. Had he been a normal man with a normal life, she would’ve been safer. She didn’t deserve to be startled awake only to be chased by a criminal in the middle of the night. She didn’t deserve any of the bullshit that hit her because she was with Bucky.

He kept planting kiss after kiss to her head, wishing he could go back and be there to protect her.

“Shh, you’re okay, my angel. You’re safe,” he kept telling her as he supported himself up with her in his arms.

Her cries were dying down and she was getting comfier in Bucky’s protective hold, fingers digging in his shoulders afraid he would leave again.

“Please, calm down, baby. I’m here. No one can hurt you, angel.” Bucky took her out and to the bathroom so he could take a look at her leg.

“Baby, are you hurt anywhere else?” he asked after sitting her down on the cold counter.

Instead of answering, she pressed her forehead to his chest and kept sniveling, hands clutching Bucky’s jacket. She wasn’t ready for him to let her go yet. She may be too far gone but her body knew it needed to be close to Bucky’s.

“Baby, please come back to me,” Bucky begged, tears threatening to spill from his once hard, cold eyes.

“Angel,” his thumb brushed her cheek and she finally looked up to him.

“Dada, I was so scared.” She sobbed, shaking at the memory.

“I’m sorry, my angel.” Bucky pressed his lips to her forehead, “I’m here with you, baby. No need to be scared anymore.”

“That man- he-” she hiccupped.

“You’re okay, angel. Breathe.” Bucky stroked her back warmly as she buried her face in his chest again.

He took the bottle of water from one of his men, waving him out of the bathroom.

“Here, baby, drink some water.”

She wouldn’t move. She just wanted to be close to Daddy. She was scared and Bucky was safety. He was home.

“For me, baby. Just a tiny sip.” Bucky twisted the bottle cap open, gently cupping her cheek to coax her away from his body.

His heart swelled when she leaned her damp cheek on his palm, enjoying the warmth. Her smaller hand cupped his and her eyes closed, her face further pressed into Bucky’s hand as a soft sigh escaped her lips.

Bucky bit his lip, holding back the waterworks. He should’ve been here; should’ve prevented it all from happening. His thumb brushed her chin and she opened her eyes.

“Drink a little, angel.” Bucky offered a kind smile.

She nodded, sitting up straighter, her lashes wet with tears as she looked up to Bucky, her gaze holding no blame.

He brought the bottle to her lips and she gulped down, the chilled water soothing her sore throat.

“Better?” Bucky cocked his head to the side and she nodded, sniffing.

Bucky bowed, holding his forehead against hers. He just wanted to feel her breathe soundly; wanted to make his mind stop telling him he almost lost her forever.

“Dada.”

“Yes, my angel.” Bucky pecked her lips.

“My leg hurts.” Her voice was awfully small as she pointed to the burning scratches ruining her beautiful skin. Bucky wished he could hide her between his ribs in place of his heart.

“Daddy’s got you, angel.”

Bucky cleaned her wound, apologizing with a kiss to her cheek every time she hissed. He had her tell him what happened to distract her and it worked. She wanted him to be proud so much she eagerly told him all about kicking the bad man. Tears gathered in her eyes once again when he applied ointment but she continued with her story, Bucky’s smile keeping her calm.

“Angel, you were so brave! I’m so proud of you, baby.” Bucky kissed her bandaged leg, “how did you do that?!”

“Kept thinkin’ dada thoughts.” She hugged Bucky again.

Bucky was a puddle on the bathroom floor. She was telling him she was brave like that because she was thinking of him through it all. He adored her so much he didn’t know who he was if not her man.

“I promise this is the last time you would ever have to go through anything like that,” Bucky assured, chuckling lovingly when she squeezed him harder and nodded.

She believed Bucky. She knew he could keep her safe. This wasn’t a usual occurrence, Bucky’s always made sure she was protected. She had no doubt anything would change. She trusted her Daddy with all her heart.

Bucky knew that and it scared him to death. He was scared one day he might not be up to the trust she’d put in him. He feared disappointing her; not being there for her in time. He was terrified a day would come where he might let her down.

“Never again. You’re safe, my angel. You’re always safe with me.”

Bucky’s soft lips placed a languishing kiss to her forehead. Her eyes were next, Bucky kissed her eyelids and under her eyes. Then he left wet kisses on both cheeks before pecking her nose. She smiled shyly when he pressed his mouth to the corner of hers.

“I love you, angel,” Bucky whispered against her lips before kissing her.

Bucky carried her back to their bed. The room was organized again, nothing was out of place and she was in Daddy’s arms. She was safe once more.

Bucky held her to his chest all night, his mind too loud to let him fall asleep. She went back to bed almost immediately though. Bucky’s presence was all it really took for her to feel peaceful enough to close her eyes and dream again.

When she moved out of his embrace in her sleep, Bucky carefully left the room and went to his office to review the security cameras footage. He knew watching the attack would make his blood boil again but he had to see what happened and how the unlucky asshole got inside his mansion.

While she already told him she’d defended herself, Bucky was the proudest seeing it unfold on the screen.

“Do you know who my man is?... I beg no one.”

The words brought the largest smile to Bucky’s lips. He was so proud of his angel; so amazed by her courage. He thought he couldn’t love her any more than he already did and he was wrong. His heart has picked the right girl and for that he was grateful. Bucky took one last look at the shining ring in his top drawer before shutting it and walking back to continue cuddling his precious sweetheart.

Tags: @harrysthiccthighss, @tinystudentfirepurse, @lavendercitizen

2K notes · View notes

flwrkisses · 2 years

Text

how txt would comfort their partner who is having a stress induced anxiety attack

hi guysss!! i know i said i would be posting more and then you guys got crickets but uh... so im trying to work on some longer pieces of writing in between the holidays and it has made it self to be impossible!

request: 'Can I request a TXT reaction where their partner has a tantrum temper because school/work puts a lot of pressure on them?'

genre: some angst, fluff, established relationship.

warning: anxiety looks different on everyone, so my description of anxiety might not mirror your exact experience with anxiety and thats ok!

✧*:･ﾟyeonjun

he would notice something was going on, despite how much you wanted to hide the fact that you were hurting inside. the amount of work on top of school had been reaching your breaking point and you wanted to get through this semester without worrying him.

problem is yeonjun knows you almost as well as you know yourself. so he'd of course ask you about how you feel and how things are going which surprisingly was enough to set you off.

if he's being honest, he got scared at first. he felt terrible for making you break down and cry but he'd wrap his arms around you, letting you feel out everything you need to while letting you know you're still there.

as much as yeonjun loves to talk, at this very moment it was all about you and only you. he would listen and nod along with what you were saying to show you he was listening.

after you let it all out he asked you to breath with him, to help he'd hold you to his chest so you could feel the deep breathing pattern along your back, allowing you to mimic them to calm down.

"it's alright baby, i hear you and i know it's rough but, i'm so proud of you for getting through it one step at a time okay? lets just focus on your next step, it's not time to worry about the bigger picture just yet okay? it'll all end up coming together."

✧*:･ﾟsoobin

your boyfriend came home way happier than usual, which wasn't a bad thing! but, for the first time in a long time he was up and you were down so his hyper spirt overwhelmed you greatly as soon as he got home.

as soon as he noticed you weren't smiling he would stop acting goofy and sit with you. it wasn't often that he came home so hype so seeing him shut off automatically added guilt to the top of your mountain of emotions.

you completely broke down in front of him, muttering self deprecating words to yourself and tugging at your hair a bit hard. he looked worried, he didn't know what to do. you've never had an attack like this but he did realize it was one.

he quickly would grab you and pull you to him, squeezing you hard since he read online that physical touch and being squeezed can help endorphins reach the brain causing people to calm down. which was exactly what would happen in your case.

he would hold you without saying anything and squeeze you tight until you no longer were gasping for air and your breathing regulated. soobin wouldn't talk throughout the whole thing, he would simply just let you calm down and waited until you chose to talk to him.

"i know it's rough, trust me it happens to me all the time.. it's not fair, you do so much and i know you think there isnt any meaning behind any of it.. but everything will pay itself off in the end okay?"

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

he would extend his hand in front of yours and wait for you to tap in. physical touch was something he knew was important, so "tapping in" was an important practice you both did. 3 taps on the other's palm, 3 taps on the other's arm, 3 taps on the shoulder. he read online it helps.

once you went through all sets of tapping he'd smile softly and ask you "what's wrong?" and give you pouty kisses as you spoke. serious gyu is very tender and loving.

after a while you both just kinda stare at each other in silence to which he breaks out into a goofy smile and laughs once you start laughing at the realization that you guys are just sitting there looking at each other.

"baby i know it's hard... i wish all your worries could just fly away but it's not as easy. let me help okay? you don't have to do this on your own alright?"

✧*:･ﾟtaehyun

bringing food home, taehyun was excited to finally have an afternoon off to be with you. he would usually cook but tonight he wanted to treat you both to something a bit more different. but, when he saw you sitting in your shared bed sniffling at the window he knew something was wrong.

taehyun's main priority is making you feel comfortable and bringing you back to a slightly better mental space. and he does so by sitting you up straight against the headboard of the bed, sitting in front of you and doing breathing exercises.

he'd hold your hand in his and gently caress it, letting you calm down on your own count. he thinks it's important to feel your emotions which is why he doesn't completely try to pull you back up with giggles and smiles. it also didn't work for you.

once you were ready to breath with him he would do breathing exercises, he would look you in the eye and smile softly knowing that you're slowly calming down.

the rest of the night was spent in his arms, he wouldn't leave you alone knowing that you could fall into another panic attack. he fed you, cuddled you, talked to you and just treated you so gently after.

"i wont leave you baby, i know it's hard... and it's okay to be overwhelmed. i got you okay?"

✧*:･ﾟhueningkai

kai walked out of the bathroom after taking a shower and was ready to jump on you to cuddle when he noticed your jagged breathing and frozen state. it worried him, but he knew exactly what it was.

he would pull you up to him and look at you, usually at this time your boyfriend would also go quiet since he usually gets quiet when he gets serious and do nothing but hold you. tucking his head into your back so you can feel him around you.

after calming you down just a bit he would play a short game with you, one to ease your anxiety. he'd whisper something that he can see so you can respond with something else that you see.

in between words he'd place gentle kisses on your skin because this big love baby is gentle like that.

he plays the eye-spy game with you until he can feel you losen up on him. he lets go a bit so you guys can talk about it a bit more now that you've got both feet on the floor

"no it's okay, we all get stressed out! you're okay. i can always help if your workload is too much alright?"

❁ requests are currently closed! ⤞ i am working on your beautiful requests !

for more of my work: masterlist.

382 notes · View notes

weirdmageddon · 3 years

Text

five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago

i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me

IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.

i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.

if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that

when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.

but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.

i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.

to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example

see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:

even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.

the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”

but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).

and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”

even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”

these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”

dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.

youtube

there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.

what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.

and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?

#can you tell how i’m similar to ford but also so different like i said in that other post lol #gravity falls #analysis #dipper pines #stanford pines #long post #gf #gravity falls meta

373 notes · View notes

worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 3 years

Text

Disappointment | Ivan x Daughter!Reader

Requested by @theweasleytwinsownmyjuicyass: “so I’m really a sucker for parent tropes so maybe you could write a Ivan x daughter!reader where he had her with a non grisha woman who gave birth and later left the baby at the little palace for him. Now she is grow and Ivan being Ivan is hard on her especially because she’s kind of failing being a heartrender (cuz that’s not her real grisha power) and they have a huge fight about it and she runs away in the middle of the night. When Ivan find out in the morning he becomes very worried and asks The darkling and Fedyor to help him find her. (Maybe they find her a bit hurt cuz she was attacked. Just for more angst and feels:3)”

Pairing: Ivan x Daughter!Reader, Fedyor x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1900

Warnings: angst, mentions of blood

A/N: As always, spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

Masterlist

- - - - -

“Ivan!” Fedyor calls as he runs down the corridor carrying a medium size wicker basket “Ivan, someone left this outside the doors of the little palace”

“Oh?” Ivan says, uninterested as he continues walking.

“The note left with it says its for you.”

Ivan stops walking and abruptly turns around to finally face Fedyor who hold out the basket to him. He takes it and slowly lifts the lid, freezing when he lays eyes on what’s inside.

“What is it? What’s in there?” Fedyor asks curiously but gets no reply “Ivan?”

He moves to stand by Ivan’s side, peering over to see the baby girl wrapped up tight inside, fast asleep without a care in the world.

“I don't understand, why would someone give you a baby?” Fedyor asks.

“Because she’s my daughter.”

— — — —

Seventeen years later.

Growing up in the Little Palace wasn’t exactly a normal childhood, especially being the daughter of one of the Darkling’s most favoured Grisha. You never really felt like you fit in with the other kids, especially since your father made you learn with Heartrender children even though you were actually a healer. He was convinced you would share the same power as him and because you wanted to please him you went along with it.

It was hard growing up without a mother too. Your father was always honest with you, about how he had spent the night with a non Grisha woman and hadn’t even known she was pregnant until one night you were left on the doorstep. Part of you wished you could meet your mother, but the other part of you didn’t care about a woman who could so easily abandon you.

You were close with your father’s lover, Fedyor. He became the closest thing you had to a mother figure. He was softer and more caring than your father. When you were younger he would occasionally sneak you away for fun days out playing games in the woods. Even now he would take you out on horse riding lessons when he felt you needed a break.

Ivan did not approve.

“She’s my daughter and I say she must attend all her training sessions!”

“You're too hard on her Ivan, the poor girl is exhausted from all the pressure you put on her. Give her a break” Fedyor argues back as you press your ear to their door so you can hear.

“I’ll give her a break when she earns one. Right now she’s the worst in the whole class of heartrenders. Even the children are better than her”

“Maybe because I’m not actually a Heartrender!” You say as you burst through the door.

“This is a private conversation!” Ivan shouts.

“Not if it’s about me it’s not.” You shout back

“Y/N” Fedyor speaks calmly, trying to defuse the situation “maybe you should go-”

“No Fedyor, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this” you turn and address your father “All I’ve ever done, all I ever do is try and live up to your expectations. Try to be like you. Hide my true self because I’m terrified of disappointing you. But I can’t lie anymore. I’m not a Heartrender. And no matter how much you or I try to force it, I will never be a Heartrender.”

You take off your red and black kefta and hand it to your father. There’s a silence as he looks down at it before finally looking up at you.

“You're just going to give up on everything we’ve worked for, everything you’ve wanted?”

“I never wanted any of this Dad. You did! I just went a long with it to please you”

“Get out of my sight!”

“Dad-”

“I have never been more disappointed in you than I am right now. I am ashamed to call you my daughter”

“Ivan!” Fedyor speaks up as you stand there silent for a moment, staring at your father.

Fedyor comes to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder but you shake him off and run out the room as hot tears fill your eyes. You hear Fedyor call after you but you ignore him, continuing to run out of the Little Palace. You don't stop running until you reach the woods, leaning against a tree and sliding your back against the rough bark to sit on the ground. You bring your knees up to your chest and let the tears flow, unaware of the stranger watching you in the darkness.

You're disturbed by the sound of a twig snapping behind you. You lift your head up and take a deep breath, silently listening. Slowly you stand up, keeping your back to the tree as you look around you. Then you spot him, an unknown man creeping toward you. From his clothes you guess he’s a peasant from the village.

“Are you alright?” He asks. Something about him sets your nerves on edge.

“Yes I’m fine” you say quietly, wiping a tear off your cheek

“Are you from the palace?” He asks, taking a step closer. You nod. “What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

“I could ask you the same thing” you reply

“It’s not safe to be out here alone you know” he takes another step closer “never now who you might meet”

“You're right, I should head back” you go to leave but he grabs your arm, pulling you back “let go of me!”

“Not until you give me something in return” he pulls a dagger from his pocket

“What do you want from me?” You struggle against him but his grip is tight

“Whatever you’ve got. Money. Jewellery. Anything that’s worth something. You lot up in your fancy palace have no idea how hard it is to be poor”

“I’m sorry but I don't have anything”

“Then you're no use to me!” He growls, plunging his dagger into your side. You let out a silent gasp. He pulls the dagger back out and you drop to the ground, clutching the wound, feeling the heat of the blood cover your hands.

“Grisha bitch” he spits before running away, disappearing into the darkness. You try to drag yourself back toward the palace but you don't have the energy. You prop yourself up against the base of a tree and wait for the darkness to take you.

— — — —

“Fedyor wake up!” Ivan rushes into their room, opening the curtains to let the morning sun stream through “Y/N is missing!”

“What!” Fedyor sits up instantly

“I went to apologise but she isn’t in her room and her bed hasn’t been slept in. Im really worried Fed. Where is my girl?” He chokes up as tears spring to his eyes.

“Okay calm down. We’ll find her”

Ten minutes later the boys are heading out the Little Palace, searching the grounds with the help of General Kirigan.

“Do you have any idea where she could have gone?” The Darkling asks. Ivan shakes his head.

“I think I might know.” Fedyor announces

The three of the mount their horses and set off towards the woods. Once they enter they slow down as Fedyor explains this is where the two of you come to relax and get away from the Palace when things get too much. Ivan feels his heart sink, knowing that he’s the reason you even need a place to escape to.

“There!” Fedyor shouts, pointing to your lifeless body laying on the ground.

The men jump off their horses and run to your side, Ivan cradling your head in his lap and stroking your face while the Darkling checks your wound.

“Oh my saints! Y/N, my girl. Please come back to me” Ivan cries

“We need to get her back to the Palace. She needs a healer” The Darkling announces as Ivan picks you up and carries you to his horse. He rides faster than he’s ever ridden to get you there.

“We need a healer! Now!” The General shouts the second he enter the Palace, and instantly multiple healers come running. They follow him as he carries you to your room and lays you down on your bed.

Ivan and Fedyor watch anxiously as the healers get to work. What feels like hours later they finally finish, turning to address the men.

“She’s stable now.”

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Ivan lets out tears of relief as Fedyor hugs him.

“We’ll leave you three alone.” The Darkling says, ushering the healers out of the room. “I’m glad she’s okay” he smiles before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

A few hours later you're eyes finally flutter open. You look around the room confused as to how you got there. You remember the woods. The creepy stranger. Being stabbed. You sit up, lifting your shirt to see now no wound at all. Then you look over and see Fedyor and Ivan asleep at the foot of your bed. You reach over and gently squeeze your father’s hand. He opens his sleepy eyes and when he sees you awake shoots up right, quickly pulling you into a tight hug. Fedyor also wakes up and smiles at you.

“I’ll leave you two to chat” he says smiling again before leaving.

Your father sits on the edge of the bed facing you.

“Y/N. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said last night, I didn’t mean it. I was angry with Fedyor but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”

“It felt like you meant it”

“I could never be ashamed of you. You are a beautiful, intelligent, strong young woman. I am proud to be your father.” He takes your hand in his “And I am so sorry I made you feel like you had to be someone else just to please me. I always hoped you’d be a Heartrender like me, but I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you. From now on you are free to be the person you want to be.”

“Are you sure I’m not a disappointment?”

“You could never disappoint me Y/N. You are my daughter and I love you more than anything in the world” he moves to sit next to you and puts his arm around you. You snuggle into him.

“Even more than Fedyor?” You ask playfully

“Even more than Fedyor”

“Hey I heard that!” Fedyor shouts as he pokes his head back in the room

“We love you too Fedyor!” You shout back, gesturing for him to join you. He sits on the other side of you so you are sandwiches between the two of them. You hold his hand and rest your head on your father’s shoulder.

You may not have a mother, but you do have two fathers. And you wouldn’t change them for the world.

Your perfect little family.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone fic #general kirigan #the darkling #Ivan x reader #ivan x fedyor #fedyor x reader #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader

200 notes · View notes

elysianslove · 3 years

Note

Hello! Could you maybe write something for sukuna with a dom s/o? He’s so cocky and that just makes me wanna see him put in his place lmaoo

oh my god ❤️👅❤️ also im sorry this is so late hdvjahd im losing track of requests i am so sorry pls forgive me

nsfw under the cut, my loves! <3

━ he’d agreed to this. you desperately want to remind him that, especially with the way he won’t stop glaring at you like you’d committed treason. as you tighten the rope on his wrist, securing his arms to the headboard of the bed and limiting his movements, you lean back, and stick a tongue out at him childishly.

“you do realize you’re only going to make things worse for yourself if you keep squirming,” you point out, and push your hips rougher against his. sukuna huffs, his mouth twisting into a snarl as he continues to glare at you. the first thing you’d done when you’d managed to convince sukuna of this had been to stuff his pretty mouth with your underwear, and he’d fought against it, his canines tearing through some of the fabric. eventually, though, he’d relented, somehow, and fell back against the bed.

wanna see your cute self try, he’d said. you almost want to laugh at where he is now.

you’d considered a blindfold too, but being deprived of his noises was more than enough. besides, you wanted him to watch as you ruined him, picked up apart piece by piece. honestly, you weren’t even planning for anything grand or over the top, nothing that could make him back out should you ask of him of this a second time.

humming to yourself lightly, you drag your nails along his chest, tracing the dark markings, before you reach his nipples. your hands massage his pectorals, your thumbs dancing over his nipples as they harden beneath your featherlight touch. ever so slightly, his chest heaves, and without warning, you grab his nipple between two fingers and squeezing roughly, enough to shoot pain thoroughly through him and have his chest buck up into your touch the tiniest inch. you hum again, nonchalant about what you’d just done, before dipping your head, capturing the hard bud between your lips, before pushing past and encasing it between your teeth, tugging sharply.

sukuna grunts above you, his hips swaying as if to push you off. his arms strain from above him, and it’s not that he’s fighting to let himself free. he’s fighting so he doesn’t accidentally tear through the bindings. it’s another reason you weren’t too wary when sukuna had agreed, because you knew, at any given moment, he could push you away and let himself go. but here he is, succumbing to you, leaving himself as vulnerable as it gets. the idea drives you wild with power.

mouth still latched onto his nipple, you glance up at him, only to find his head thrown back, his jaw tight around the fabric in his mouth. your brows furrow with dissatisfaction, and you unlatch your lips, shuffling up to him to grab his jaw in your hands, roughly shifting his head to have him gaze at you. at the look in your eyes, his own widen, before he frowns deeper and fists his palms. “i want you to watch,” you order him, but he doesn’t listen, urging his chin out of your grasp suddenly and looking away. even rougher than before, you grab his chin again, your nails digging into his cheek as you stare into his eyes. “don’t be a fucking brat,” you spit out. “watch.”

once confirming for yourself that his eyes will remain on you, your mouth finds its way back to his chest. this time, instead of fixating on one single spot, you leave a trail of wet kisses and darkening bruises all along, licking and sucking on wherever you could, especially the areas where his moans went up an octave, like his lower abdomen. finally, you come face to face with his dick, straining hard and proud against his stomach, the tip oozing a steady flow of precum. you give your lips an anticipatory lick, and watch as his hips buck up in excitement, but instead of reaching for his dick, you place open mouthed kisses along his inner thighs, decorating and painting him pink and blue and purple. his grunts are louder now, more desperate and needy, less careful. he bucks his hips up again, and angrily, you sit up, placing your hand directly on his hip, right next to where his throbbing dick lies untouched and twitching.

“stay still,” you sneer, and he growls loudly. a few incoherent noises and words tumble out, but you don’t bother to try and understand, only mesmerized by the way drool has spilled on either side of his face, smeared by his constant movement. his cheeks and chest are flushed, nipples perked up and back slightly arched. he looks so good. lost in a slight daze, you lower yourself again to his dick, and slowly, you grab it. one steady hand grasps it at the base, and sukuna outright whines when he finally feels the pressure, his head thrown back momentarily. until you bring your other hand up to the tip of cock, and graze your fingernails along the weeping slit, the pink of the head so alluring.

sukuna’s eyes widen at the feeling, and he shifts his gaze back to you, watching as your nails and the tips of your fingers dance along the skin of the tip, your other hand occasionally squeezing the base. both your hands are wet and messy with precum, and sukuna, for a humiliating moment, wonders if you were actually capable of making him cum like this. the embarrassment flushes his face even redder, and his hips push against the mattress, trying to get away from your touch.

“isn’t this what you wanted?” you tease, tutting lightly. “for me to touch you?” your grip on his is so firm, no movement shifts you whatsoever. his eyes widen further as the telltale signs of his orgasm approach, and fuck, fuck, fuck he does not want to cum like this. you can hear his chest heaving harshly, the underwear in his mouth completely damp from his spit and drool. he continuously makes shocked and almost scared noises? it makes the heat between your legs strengthen.

you lean forward slightly and press the flat of your tongue against what isn’t being stimulated by your hands, the muscle in your mouth running along the ridges and veins of his cock. you can feel his cock twitch and throb and jump and it’s so beautiful, sukuna’s the most beautiful like this.

you are, however, quick to change your mind about that when, unexpectedly and surprisingly, he cums, thick spurts of it staining the fingers that had been tickling at his tip. it travels weakly down his cock, which remains hard as ever in your right grasp.

with a grin, proud and satisfied eyes meet his, and you see a single tear slip out of his eye. no, he’s much more beautiful like this. absolutely ruined.

end note; got way too carried away rip. but i hope this satisfies some of y’alls fantasies even if it’s a little ooc 😼

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk sukuna #jjk sukuna smut #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader smut #jjk sukuna x reader #sukuna smut

635 notes · View notes

junicai · 3 years

Text

Relationship with NCT 127

➣ Taeil ☾ taria

taeil is the Sole Protector of aria’s sanity

taeil loves his maknaes so much, but he literally looks at her like she put the stars in the sky

the Proud Dad smile :’)

when aria first debuted, czennies thought that she was the same age as jungwoo - because she acted older than her age - but with taeil she lets her inner kid come out

highkey dependent on his approval for things in relation to singing

“was, was that ok?” “perfect, ari.” “ (O_O;) - (◕‿◕)♡”

she will fight mark and donghyuck for his attention, and she will win

for a while, the two had shared a dorm room before they were rearranged, and taeil let her slip into his bed when she was feeling homesick

the offer is still open, but aria takes him up on it less and less

taeil is NOT sad about that. absolutely not.

he’s vehemently against any and all diets she tries - saying that if she gets any smaller he’s going to be able to pick her up with one hand

que him dragging her out for ice-cream after a promotion, paying no mind to her protests

aria helps taeil with translating a lot of things into english during lives and interviews - so much to the point where he’s picked up a bit of an irish accent and the others never fail to clown him for it

taeil still has the small braided bracelet that aria gave to the members on their first anniversary of nct (he keeps it in the drawer beside his bed)

aria is his self-professed happy virus. he told czennies in a vlive once that her smile makes him feel really happy and he wants to protect it to the best of his ability

aria always fixes his micpack before they go onstage if its crooked, because she comes out after him in the lineup

they have monthly movie nights and they alternate who chooses the movie / show (taeil normally goes for mystery or drama themed ones, while aria enjoys making them both sob miserably)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria and taeil singing “I See the Light” from tangled for the NCT Music channel, and the tears that were shed by both moonis and realtai alike. sm really popped off with the staging and the lighting of the whole video - between the smiles that were on both of the singers faces and the whole ambiance created, its a cinematic masterpiece

no one was surprised when it hit 2 million views in a day, and a lot of solo stans were born from that video

➣ Johnny ☾ johria

indisputable siblings

there is not a single czennie who ships these two romantically, and that’s because they’re just too wholesome

johnny is one of the few members that aria calls “oppa”, mainly because of the age gap and sm wanted her to appear respectful, but also because he thinks she looks so cute

very chill, excellent vibes

their vlives are either chaotic messes or the closest thing to therapy since ice cubes

the blanket on aria’s bed? that was a gift from johnny - she had been complaining to mark about how cold she always was anemia tings

czennies are begging for sm to allow aria to open up a solo instagram account, becuse they see the amount of pictures johnny takes of her

in the park? he’s making her pose in front of the flowers. backstage before a show? the lighting, c’mon.

big big bear hugs - the height difference make nctzens want to die

185cm vs 158cm? p l e a s e she’s so tiny in comparison (/ =ω=)/

when she gives him backhugs it looks like a little kitten trying to wrestle with the family dog

play fighting about vernacular:

“ITS CALLED A SIDEWALK” “S I D E W A L K, ITS A FOOTPATH YOU BUFFOON”

very vocal about her wellbeing, and has asked fans before to remind her to take better care of herself and get to sleep sooner

aria, starting a vlive at 3am: hi hi~

the comments: NO GO TO BED

johnny helped her a lot when it came to the style change in choreography, as aria was used to soft, flowing movements and not the powerful, sleek style that most nct dances have

consistently forgets the fact that she is not the fourteen year old he first met, and is, in fact, an adult now. “you’re a child” “im 18″ “...no”

is the person to get angry on her behalf when interviewers belittle or ignore her

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a fansign, a fan asked aria who did she think was the most comforting when she was stressed (besides mark and donghyuck) and aria said johnny. “he’s so, constant? like nothing seems to knock him or throw him off, and that’s really comforting when i feel unsteady.”

johnny is now known as aria’s weighted blanket.

that is all.

➣ Taeyong ☾ ariyong

taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally, but he would if he could)

eomma meets highly protective older brother meets life coach type beat?

so so soft for her its sickening

says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio for the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet

when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong

she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training

because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong

whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to

“please? i don’t like it.” *gasp* “how dare you.”

sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late!

he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be

he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured, but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)

taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip intentionally her

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

taeyong had just been awarded the solo bedroom on the last night of the Mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly.

“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..”

baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while on the video edited captions appeared with the words, “a cute maknae, asking to room with a younger member...”

➣ Yuta ☾ nakamiya

the president of realtai

this man is absolutely, completely and irrevocably whipped for aria and she is not afraid to use that to her advantage

she beat him at arm wrestling because she pouted at him - she’s too powerful

aria.exe stopped responding when yuta started to playfully flirt with her the first few times

*winks* “hu-wha-”

one of the most outwardly protective members of her, because he feels a sense of responsibility for the younger girl

he was one of the trainees she first befriended, aria’s korean not being good enough to hold a decent conversation, and yuta happy that there was another japanese trainee

9 times out of 10, when the members are making their way through crowded areas like airports yuta is always behind or directly beside aria

during a fansign one of the fans asked why he did that, and he said that he needed to keep her in his line of sight or else he’d get anxious that she’s so small that she could get swallowed in the crowds

yes aria hit him for the short comment

yuta, 50% of the time: you’re not allowed date until you’re 35

yuta, the other 50% of the time: bro where’s your boyfriend

he complains that she isn’t as sweet as she was when she first joined, and that hyuck must have corrupted her (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

he let’s her braid his hair when its longer, them both sitting on a bed with yuta in front and aria kneeling behind him so she can reach

he was the first person to take her home for the holidays, because ireland was too far to go back for a week over christmas

“what do you mean you’ve never been to japan???”

bitching about the other members in japanese? more likely than you’d think

when aria turned legal in korea, yuta took her out drinking and made sure to post pictures of her with her flushed cheeks on his instagram story with the caption “aish, i told you to pace yourself....” “happy birthday riri”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

you know that one clip of the sasaeng getting absolutely trashed by nct’s bodyguard and taeyong jumping 7 feet into the air?

well taeyong wasn’t the only one startled; standing beside yuta, aria was closest to the wall of fans when the girl ran forward towards the members. aria jumped in fright, while yuta barely made a face (#unbothered). he simply wrapped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her around to the other side, tucking her underneath his arm.

tsundere!yuta

➣ Doyoung ☾ dori

*ahem* WHIPPED *ahem*

doyoung adores aria so much

was he unsure about a girl being added to a group of boys? yes but it was moreso concern about how he was going to make sure she wasn’t accidentally trampled

they bonded over a night in the recording studio when he found her sitting on the floor with music sheets scattered around her

a whole mentor when it comes to singing

aria always turns to him after singing - especially when it wasn’t planned, like at a fansign - to see if she did a good job

doyoung has yet to tell her that she hasn’t but sue her, she appreciates the validation

the original mother and Will Not Let Taeyong Forget It

doyoung, dragging aria out of the studio: now listen here young lady-

kitten and bunny friends RISE

no seriously sm released merch of a kitten and bunny plushie and it sold out in a day

when aria had the accident that led to her two month hiatus, doyoung was the one who rode in the ambulance with her after refusing to let go of her hand

“i’m sorry sir, only family are allowed in at the moment-” “we are her family” *nurse looks around the room at the 14 other boys sitting anxiously*

he is a weak, weak man he will crumple on any decision if she smiles and slash or whines at him even slightly

carries band-aids and support strapping in his practice bag because he knows that she gets really bad blisters when she hasn’t practiced while wearing her heels in a while, and he makes her wrap her ankles for the first few sessions incase she falls

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENTS.

NCT 127 Take a Friendship Test (Glamour - 2020)

“ahh, my first impression?” *laughs* “actually, we first met in a recording studio, at like. 3 o’clock in the morning? he stuck his head in the doorway and i was so tired that i thought i had died and an angel had come to save me...” (*μ_μ)

➣ Jaehyun ☾ jaria

you know how cheetahs in the zoo get emotionally support puppies?

this is the same type of vibe

very snuggly together? but only in specific scenarios, like when jaehyun is too tired to move after a movie night, he’ll just kinda engulf aria in a hug and make her sleep on the couch with him

any back hug she gives him turns into a piggy back, its non-negotiable

likes to randomly compliment her to see how red he can make her face go

did she have a crush on him when she first moved to korea? yes, but who didn’t

that faded really quickly though once she started into the group officially - now they are more like siblings

they don’t interact that much on camera? rip to the jaria shippers

but that doesn’t mean they aren’t close with each other its just that a lot of their interactions happen off-screen

naturally, jaehyun began to think of her as a younger sister over the years they performed together

jaehyun will end anybody who lays a hand on aria

a little bap bap if you will

he asked her to take him ice-skating one day, and the entire time was spent with aria laughing her ass off as he ate the ice nearly fourteen times before getting the hang of it

he takes her out for food when he notices that she’s been put back on a strict diet plan (aria thinks she’s good at hiding those pieces of paper, but she forgets that when she puts it on top of things, that other people are a lot taller than her and have a higher vantage point)

the prince and princess of nct? check

head pats

he likes to pat her head and she’ll swat it away immediately until she gets tired and just lets him do his thing

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

jaehyun was wearing a flower crown placed carefully on his head as he bent down slightly to run his hands through the damp grass. a soft shutter sound went off, before he heard a hum coming from behind him. “jaehyun-ssi, could you take off the flowers? we can’t see your face clearly because of the shadow.”

jaehyun glanced backwards at aria’s retreating figure, being chased by donghyuck with hands still stained green from the grass she had shifted through to find the fallen flowers. she stopped and waved at him before resuming her run.

“i’d rather not, if that’s alright. i think it fits quite well with the theme.”

➣ Jungwoo ☾ ariwoo

oh my god someone please stop these two

once jungwoo taught aria about the power that aegyo holds for persuasion tactics against the older members of 127, they were unstoppable

you should be afraid of them

100% have plotted someone’s murder before (and have succeeded, czennies always wondered where that last manager went after The Incident)

aggressively cute together - to the point where your teeth will rot

jungwoo will intentionally flirt with aria just to fluster her because its “so easy to do”

not very physically affectionate, but jungwoo has no hesitation calling out “uri fighting haeyadwae!” to her when she looks like she needs a little encouragement

jungwoo is the reason she wants to do a bachelors degree after finishing high school

he used to help her with her maths assignments after school when she was struggling with managing her time

they’re called the “aegyo duo” of the group, and there has yet to be an outright winner of the competitions to find the cutest member (its aria. jungwoo said it himself, its aria but we been knew)

they have an odd dynamic of looking like best friends the first second, evil masterminds the next and then siblings who want to murder each other but they make it work

will and has flopped down on her while she was laying on the practice floor and then whined when she tried to get up

he spilled the tea that aria gets super emotional and affectionate when she’s drunk

cutest shit ever that made ariwoo shippers lose their absolute minds was the clip that got released in the behind the scenes filming of Kick It, where jungwoo was half asleep in the corner and aria just pops up out of nowhere to shove a folded jacket under his head and made sure to prop it in a way that he wouldn’t get a sore neck when he woke up

jungwoo is the reason she knows korean curse words (dont tell doyoung)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria wobbled in her heels slightly as she stepped out of the van, trying to hold a blanket up to protect her legs while she slid off the seat onto the ground. jungwoo extended an arm around her waist, gripping the blanket in his other hand and carefully holding her to make sure she didn’t trip on the cobbled stone.

➣ Mark ☾ mari

1/2 of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired

mari being confused in foreigner: ???

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?”

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile(tm)

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it”

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합... 結合..... le chéile.... le... le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”

and thus, a new confusion meme was born

➣ Haechan ☾ arichan

the other half of the best friend crew

absolute heathens to be around when they are together

donghyuck is the person aria is closest to, and someone she’d call her best friend (only when she was sure he wouldn’t hear her)

she calls him “the demon child i can’t get rid of” but will, and has definitely pouted when he ignored her for too long

generally aria is a pretty soft spoken person, but not with hyuck around - he brings out all her chaos energy (please pray for the patience of dotae)

the pair have a little tradition of kissing the back of each others’ hands before going on stage for good luck. they can’t even remember how it started, but now its an unnegotiable pre-show ritual

he’s so clingy with her absolutely everywhere its painfully adorable (ಥ﹏ಥ)

interviews? hyuck has a hand on her knee, or if she’s wearing a skirt he’s tucked his hand in between their chairs so she can hold it discreetly. in the dorms? full body tackle onto the couch, where he proceeds to lay on top of her completely.

because of hyuck’s nickname being the sun, and aria always being around him, czennies gave her the nickname “moon” to go with him

fans thought that aria was older than hyuck for a good year and a half before she released her birthday on a vlive, because she’s normally the one tasked with reigning his chaotic energy in during promotions (that is, if she hasn’t already joined him)

but off-camera, aria is absolutely hyuck’s baby there is no disputing that. aria’s sad?he’s there with ice-cream and a blanket and a baseball bat.

the winnie the pooh character that is on aria’s bed was a gift from hyuck for her 17th birthday, after she made him watch seven episodes of the show on netflix with her one night

yes he complained, but he slapped her hand away when she went to change it to something else

a twitter thread of a czennie comparing their horoscopes together went viral when people realized that it was quite plausible that the pair were each others (platonic) soulmates

after an incident involving blueberries, donghyuck took it upon himself to check the ingredients of every. single. food item in their dorm to make sure it was ok for her to eat

hyuck clowns her for her irish accent, and aria curses him out in japanese

tldr: they cute or whatever

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

donghyuck was doing a vlive in his bedroom, sitting and talking to czennies when aria opened the door to his room quietly. she didn’t say anything, just waved slightly with almost closed eyes before she crawled underneath his covers and tucked her plushie underneath her chin. hyuck didn’t even blink at it - so it must have been a regular occurrence.

293 notes · View notes

the-travelling-witch · 2 years

Note

Holly babe guess who~~ I’m SO SOOOO proud of u for hitting 500, u deserve it and so much more! <333 I’d like- LOVE to join ur event sweetheart hehe

So hi! My name is crown, pronouns are she/her and I’d like a romantic matchup w a guy from Tokyo revengers please

About me hmmmm well

- Im pretty headstrong and confident in who I am, so I try my best to be welcoming and kind to people but at the same time I’m well aware that I can be intimidating, I like that to some degree

- I’m an artist! I love painting drawing and dancing (singing too but I’m not good at- don’t mean I don’t scream at the top of my lungs tho)

- I’m the eldest child and older sister to my sis, I’ve often been told I give off fun vibes but know to get serious when the moment demands it

- I’m hilarious. Like downright hilarious.

- Also very sarcastic (like to the point where I’ve gotten in trouble by the principle whoops)

- Either dress like a princess w jewelry dresses and heels or like a hood rat

Mmmmmm u know me to some degree right doll? Take ur guess at my personality from that too <3

Also Russian roulette number…drum roll plz: 7!

hmmm, who could it be? is it...the loml? (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

ahhh, darling, thank you so much!!! i´m also so proud of you, you just reached your own milestone too (i still think it´s absolutely hilarious we had the same idea haha) ♡

i really hope you enjoy your matchup; to shock everyone i matched you with...

RAN HAITANI Bonten Executive

Sighing for the tenth time in the last ten minutes, you looked down at your phone and then around the streets again. You were supposed to meet your friend but Roppongi wasn´t that easy to navigate if you´ve never been there before. And google maps sure wasn´t helping, sending you in circles for half an hour.

As you continued walking, you didn´t look where you were going, focused on the map on your phone. So focused, in fact, you didn´t notice the person coming your way. Colliding with a strong chest, you would´ve hit the ground for sure if it wasn´t for the hands holding you steady by your shoulders.

“Oh my god, I´m so sorry, I didn´t see you there. Are you okay?” Raising your head, your eyes met two lilac ones, crinkling at the corners.

“I noticed. Well, I´m not the one who almost introduced themselves to the floor, so I´m fine.” Glancing down at your phone, the man noticed the open app. “You´re not from around here, are you?”

“Was it that obvious?”

“Yup. What are you searching for anyway?” Turning your phone his way, he studied the map for a second before standing straight again. “The café is just two streets down here and then on the right. Free advice for the cute lady: you should really try their pastries.”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot.” Before you could thank him, he held your phone in place again, typing away on your screen. “Let me show you around Roppongi some time. Make sure you call me, yeah?”

He shot you a wink and then continued in the direction he was headed in, leaving you to stare down at the contact info displayed on your phone.

“Your knight in shining armour ♡”

Ran thinks he finally found his match in you

He himself is pretty self-assured and confident in who he is, otherwise he wouldn´t have gotten to where he is now

One of the things he appreciates about you is that he can enjoy some playful banter with you without having to walk on eggshells around you

And if you retaliate with a snarky comment of your own, there are practically hearts floating around his head

Especially revels in judging people with you; whenever someone you don´t like does something stupid, he shoots you that look (you know the one)

Absolute power couple, we stan

When you´re going to one of his fancy events, both dressed to the nines, nobody can tear their eyes away

You guys are already stunning on your own, but together? Everybody either wants to be you or be with you

On the flip side, lounging around in hoodies and pjamas, throwing board pieces at each other or annoying Rindou to insanity is also a common occurrence

Ran would be so cocky if you sketch him (“You just can´t get enough of my beauty, right doll?”) but will definitely throw a whiney tantrum if you dare draw someone else

Would poke fun at you if he caught you dancing around the house but will pull you close to join you afterwards

Slow-dancing at night, just the two of you? Is there anything better? (He would definitely dip you a tad too low just to hear you squeal and feel you cling to him tighter)

But he´s the only one who gets to laugh at you, if anyone else even so much as thinks about making fun of you…uhh, well, good luck…

He may not admit it out loud all that often but Ran thanks his lucky stars that you waltzed into his life

Okay, choosing Ran felt like a cop-out, so I hope you also enjoy being matched with...

KEN RYUGUJI Tokyo Manji Gang Vice-President

It was pouring as you exited your college building and you mentally scolded yourself for deciding to not bring an umbrella that day. Cursing to yourself, you already resigned yourself to coming home absolutely drenched.

“Forgot your umbrella?” The deep voice belonged to a tall man, wearing a leather attire and sporting a half-shaved head. Under different circumstances he might have appeared intimidating but you found yourself nodding at his question anyway, his calm tone anything but threating. “Where are you headed?”

“Just the station a few streets from here.”

“I´m going in the same direction, wanna share?” He held up his umbrella and after a few moments of contemplation, you agreed.

During your walk to the station, you found out that is name was Ken Ryuguji and that he owned a motorshop in Tokyo. In fact, he was at your college to deliver a bike to a student there. Despite only just meeting him, you enjoyed talking to him and you found yourself wishing your stop was a few streets farther away still.

“Thank you so much, Ken, you really saved me there. Is there anyway I can pay you back?”

“Hmm, you could let me take you out for coffee someday. How does Friday work for you?”

First things first, Draken is the ultimate gentleman and you can´t convince me otherwise (yes, he held the umbrella for you)

He always places your comfort first and he always makes sure you´re doing okay

Very mature and grounded, Draken is the one person you can rely on no matter what and you can come to him with whatever, it´s guaranteed you´ll leave feeling indefinitely better

It´s a fact that this man is great at giving massages, so if you´re ever feeling stressed or have been sitting for a long time, he´ll offer to work his magic

In return, he enjoys relaxing with you and just letting go for a while

Honoured whenever you draw him and adds it to his wall along with just about every picture you guys take together, whether it´s silly, cute or romantic doesn´t matter, it gets added to the collection, no questions asked

Draken will help you with doing your hair if you want him to, paying close attention to how you do it when you show him

He also let´s you braid his hair, enjoying the way you run your fingers through his hair while he just lays back (has fallen asleep before while you did it)

So supportive!! Dress however you want he can fight he will genuinely compliment you on whatever you chose to wear that day

Loves when you visit him in the shop; you don´t even have to do anything, just having you there lifts his spirits

Your relationship is just so soft and warm and cosy, it´s like curling up in a warm blanket during winter

The support, care and trust you both place in each other is unmatched; people will see you and redefine their opinion on “couple goals”

The question you chose is “Do you have earrings/ piercings/ tattoos/ dyed hair/ other body modifications?”

I still have my natural hair colour and I don´t have any tattoos because my parents would disown me if I did (I once “tattooed” my whole forearm out of boredom and they nearly flipped) but I do have my ears pierced

On my right ear I have one lobe and two helix piercings and on my left ear I have three lobe piercings and one helix but the [redacted] tension between me and a potential conch is almost tangible haha

#holly’s potions #coffee & tea break #my regulars ♡#letter from: the gorgeous crown ❀#Stella Fortuna Event #First Constellation #matchup #tokyo revengers

7 notes · View notes