#high school funny quotes
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“we can help people!”
“NO. i am taking a n a p”
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#archive of our own#ao3 stuff#ao3 quotes#archive of our own quotes#fanfic#fanfic quotes#funny#ao3#ao3 tags#the mortifying ordeal of a guy remembering what you were like in high school#and still kissing you anyway#top tier romance guys
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Out-Of-Context Quotes From My Geology Professor
In honor of the end of my finals week, I compiled a bunch of random quotes from my geology professor:
“There’s reality, and then there’s Boulder, Colorado.”
“The Earth slowly loses heat to space, so eventually Earth will solidify. Except by that time, the sun will have engulfed us and we’ll be vaporized, so!”
“In a billion years, the Earth will barely be habitable, but to be honest, I’m not really losing sleep over it.”
“What also floats in water? Jesus… and witches, and very small rocks.”
“My grandma is from Ohio— they don’t have rocks there.”
“But you can’t watch them after 10 p.m. because that’s when aliens go home.”
“So quartz-rich rocks are siliceous, clay-rich rocks are argillaceous, and the Black-Eyed Peas are Fergilicious.”
“I can just see everyone’s faces start glazing over when I get talking about national park bathrooms.”
“Don’t feel bad, I used to wear socks with sandals, too.”
“Anticline points up, syncline points down. You can remember this because anticline looks like an A, and syncline— if you sin, you’re going down.”
“Death doesn’t matter when you have credit card debt.”
“I’m an old schist.”
“See, look, that poor sheep will never be fossilized.”
“I would say the best place to find gold is… Jared’s?”
“Saltating benthos— I always thought that would be a good name for a band. I mean, it is kinda like a rolling stone.”
“WHY are we FRENCH?”
“There’s enough death to go around!”
“This is not a part of my regular curriculum, but the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? That stuff works so well!”
“Do you want to see a picture of the moose that chased me this past weekend?”
Bonus: my American literature professor once said “I haven’t really had a near-death experience. If anything, it was the opposite: a near life experience. Y’know, like, I almost had a life.”
#school#jokes#memes#quotes#teacher quote#out of context quotes#funny#geology#science#science teacher#science jokes#teaching quote#gen z#high school#college#dark academia#literature
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*in class*
viper: maverick, where’s your homework?
maverick: yeah my dog ate it…
viper: maverick… your homework was to take care of the class hamster.
*a moment of silence*
goose, whispering: mav you don’t have a dog.
maverick, taking the hamster out of his bag and shielding it: YOU CAN’T HAVE HER
#incorrect top gun quotes#nick goose bradshaw#pete maverick mitchell#mike viper metcalf#top gun#top gun 1986#top gun high school au#i’m soooo funny#maverick being a dingus
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wylan: *explaining schrödinger's cat* "...quantum superposition."
jesper: "that was my nickname in university."
#i'll seduce him with my intellectual discussions about quantum mechanics#-wylan probably#i love their dynamic#recently remembered that schrödinger's cat is a thing#very fascinating stuff i will say#side note i thing the *that was my nickname in high school* type jokes are so funny 😭#six of crows#incorrect six of crows#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#six of crows fandom#incorrect soc quotes#incorrect soc#incorrect six of crows quotes#wesper my beloved#wesper
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i had started doing these on my old blog but lets start it up again (because im dedicated to this list)
shit i heard in the halls at school
(pt 1)
*male voice* "THATS MY TITTY AMBER"
boy1: *runs at the other* "ImMa gEtCha ImMa gEtcHa"
boy2: *panicked noises and running away"
"I have a headache and life if meaningless but at least I finished my geometry homework'
"well sorry I don't want my first kiss to be with nasty-ass mcmono"
"would you cut off your balls? *then again, more intense* but would you cut off your balls???"
"hey *random boy* what's your opinion on boobs?"
"do you wanna try my shoe on?"
"now *that's* a DM to send to your girlfriend"
"YOU DREW ME AS MEGAMIND????????"
"thanos corn dog"
#dialogue prompt#writing#character dialogue#american high school#high school#out of context quotes#out of context comments#funny memes#school memes#writeblr#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr
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"What business do you have in a wardrobe?"
-Tamaki, Ouran High School Host Club
#ouran high school host club#ouran host club#tamaki suoh#haruhi fujioka#anime quotes#funny anime#funny quotes#funny quote of the day#funny quote tumblr#quote blog#quote of the day
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Tanjiro: *cutting his hair*
Y/N: ow, ouch, ow-
Tanjiro: *stops cutting hair* are you okay?
Y/N: yeah, of course.
Tanjiro: *cuts more hair*
Y/N: ow! oh, ow, ouch, ow-
Tanjiro: *stops again, looks at Y/N, and slowly cuts another piece*
Y/N: ow-
Tanjiro: please stop, i might cry if i think my hair is in pain.
Y/N: then stop cutting your hair.
Tanjiro:
Tanjiro: get out, or i'm leaving.
#incorrect demon slayer#tanjiro kamado#tanjiro x y/n#kny incorrect quotes#kny demon slayer#kny#demon slayer#tanjiro x you#tanjiro x reader#based on something that happened in my high school journalism class#the boys in thay class were really fucking funny#demon slayer tanjiro#demon slayer y/n#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x gender neutral reader#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x y/n#my writing i guess#i just really love his hair ok
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PJO as things I hear in the hallways
Percy: Yes I prayed to goddess tuna and there was a pandemic
Annabeth: Somebody tell me I’m a big word
Grover: Cleanse it with a single baby carrot
Piper: I hate my body. Not in a self-hatred way, but in a, I’m sick and my body is dying kind of way
Jason: I'm pretty sure it's called my control is being restrained by myself
Leo: I just go because they have pickles…not that kind of pickles
Hazel: My anti-capitalistic cat. Why am I at school when I could be at home petting him outside my window.
Frank: I feel… *pats eyes* naked
Reyna: She got bitch slapped by her pet and died
Nico: How would you feel if you woke up and your teeth were in your ears and somebody else’s teeth was in your mouth?
Will: There’s no more hot boys in clown costumes
The Stolls: Candy man!! I won’t molest you!
Rachel: I can’t believe you got cashew on my fucking tarot cards
Luke: I have committed adultery
#percy jackson#frank zhang#annabeth chase#grover underwood#piper mclean#jason grace#leo valdez#hazel levesque#reyna ramirez arellano#nico di angelo#will solace#connor stoll#travis stoll#rachel dare#luke castellan#incorrect quotes#high schoolers#high school#quotes#funny#funny quotes#rick riordan#heroes of olympus#percy jackon and the olympians#trials of apollo#greek gods#greek mythology#Percy Jackson funny#percy annabeth grover#Jason piper Leo
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My history teacher: Have y'all ever heard of the phrase easier than shooting a fish in a barrel? Well this is kind of like that, except it’s shooting Archduke Franz Ferdinand, in a car, in an alleyway.
Classmate: And there’s no reverse.
My history teacher: And there’s no reverse!
#school#jokes#memes#history#icon#history teacher#funnies#history jokes#history memes#quotes#history quotes#high school history#class#history class#high school history class#teachers#teacher quotes#archduke franz ferdinand#assassination of archduke franz ferdinand#beauty#comedy#high school#shitposts#history text post#history class shitposts#class quotes#world war 1#world war 1 jokes#start of world war 1#if you know you know
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Stuff I've heard at school: Part 14
I'm a neo-nazi now. I'm the first black nazi.
Obama?! Somebody killed Obama?!
You look-you drank like, cumshot water! (bc the school water in his bottle was murky and kinda white)
Penguins and sex. That's what's happening.
Meemaw?! You think Meemaw serves cunt?!
My friends are starting a petition to put me down.
P1: "I want your kids"
P2: "sorry I don't share my food"
Your racist towards the ender dragon!
I'm sure anyone would be turned off if you finger their bellybutton
Mathew! stop fingering their hole! Don't finger his nipples!
P1: "ooh spoiler"
P2: "how do I spoil homelessness??"
P1: You liking your nuts?
P2: "I love my nuts everyday"
What do you mean 'that's what they want us to think'?? Are you telling me Walt Disneys death is a conspiracy??
That's very straight of you, Grey.
Coming from a straight man, that's the only thing he's allowed to say
My autistic romance
Are you…a radish
Why do you have Edward Cullen ai pictures
Edward Cullen dressed up as Patrick with SpongeBob
Are snakes just sperm worms?
P1: Then what gives you rights?
P2: "I'm a white colonizer"
[coy] Oh nooo, don't colonize me, you're so sexy, ahaha
Honestly, Dutchie sounds like a slur.
P1: Go back to your country!
P2: "telling a white person to go back to their own country is crazyyy"
Your EYEBROWS are dead??
No please don't finger my computer
Oh my god it's unicorn sperm
I don't think you want to fuck pigs
I swear to god someone came in the water tank
Did you just say you nutted in a kindergartener?!
+ "no he said he nutted in a bag of jellybeans and gave it to a kindergartener"
You have a butthole with lipgloss on it lol
P1: "Oh yeah lemme just pull a tablet out of my ass to play cookie run kingdom"
P2: "Why do you have a tablet up your ass"
[struggling to eat shawarma] "i imagine this is what sucking dick is like"
Well sue me for forgetting that you don't have an organic dick
How long is 20cm?
P1: "12:00 dosn't seem like a real time"
P2: "YOU don't seem like a real time"
Yes Lycan, we know you're Lycan.
AHH boobs! [fearful]
I am 637 words into this vore
YOU'RE a xylophone
#high school#fun times#dialogue prompt#i was told my school is the ohio of high schools#writers block#use these as you wish#prompt list#quotes#funny
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BOY do i have a few (high school and college)
student a: hold up how many letters in fornication
student b: uhh.. 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, wait hold up i forgot seven (college)
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teacher: do you guys know the meaning of patriarchy?
student: i prefer spongebob tbh high school
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student a: fellas is it gay to kiss your homies goodnight and tuck them in and bring them a warm cup of milk to help them fall asleep and read them bedtime stories or is it straight?
student b: i mean... if you did that for me i wouldnt mind.
(they've been dating for 8 years now and planning to get married) (college)
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student a (male): *meeting friends cousin, new girl* my my, you brought quite a hottie to school this year luna
student b (female cousin): uhhhh
student c (males friend): tim if you didnt do my french homework then shut up. *to cousin* dw he's not interested in you. he is very much into penis, preferably large ones (high school)
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student a: one time i was-
student b: oh my god, nobody asked
student a: *hits her over the head with a metal water bottle* as i was saying
(she was later hospitalized, although allegedly for a different reason)
WILD AHAHA
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As a kid I always felt safer with people my own age - adults tended to underestimate me and treat me stupidly, as if I didn’t understand the world around me. They overlooked my issues. But now, after all the things people my age have done to me, I have no one to feel safe around but my own family.
#funny#funny post#funny stuff#haha funny#bad friend#friend loss#high school#school#boyfriend#friendship#sad quotes#depressing life#depresso#relatable
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Chaotic Teacher Quotes
Because I just finished my degree, I compiled a list of some of my favorite things my professors have said this past semester:
“To shower or not to shower, that is the question.”
“My parents were baby boomers, which means they were on drugs and had sex and that’s how I happened.” “I’m not kidding. That’s true.”
“Ok, how does everyone feel about nostrils?”
“I like to remind my wife that she’s older than me. Every year on my birthday I’m like, oh my god, I’m almost as old as you!”
“That’s the best way to learn: forget and then remember. The only better way is to learn it drunk and then learn it sober. …Grad school is a lot of fun.”
“Is Dungeons & Dragons legit as a religious institution? Let’s discuss.”
“Punxsutawney Phil, the little beaver— not a beaver, the, you know, the marmot, HE DIED. I mean, what does that mean for our weather?? If he sees his shadow it’s six more weeks of winter but WHAT IF HE DIES??”
“We can’t have negative time— if it’s negative, you’re dead. Just like the groundhog.”
“Are we ultimately born of divine incest?”
“This whole thing is complex, very convoluted. But so is my sister, and I still love her.”
“You might ask yourself, what do I do with a big chunk of text? In many cases, the first step is to burn it with fire.”
“This is good information for those of you thinking of starting a cult.”
“I drive a stick-shift, you can’t steal my car. If you look at the thing, you wouldn’t want to, but the point is, you CAN’T.” “It’s got nothing, I almost literally have to go out with a lighter and turn on the headlights myself.”
“Do you think we could rewrite The Lord of the Rings in limerick meter? Potentially a good idea for your finals.”
���Does that freak anyone out? If it doesn’t, you might not be paying attention!!!”
“Here we read that Tiamat and Apsu had ‘mixed their waters together’— I guess that’s what the kids call it these days.”
“You know how in America we’re very vulnerable to British accents?”
“If you know what you’re doing, it’ll take about thirty minutes; if you don’t know what you’re doing, maybe forty; and if you really don’t know what you’re doing, it’ll take five.”
“Cockroaches gonna cockroach, everybody with me?”
“Right now I’m being a pain-in-the-ass materialist.” “You feel? Hold the phone.” “Conscience? What do we do with people who don’t have that? Like me.”
“Who here is familiar with the term ‘shitification’?”
“Academia is like a hospital: if you don’t work there, don’t stick around.”
“I always want you all to walk out of this classroom with a little bit more of the weight of despair on your shoulders.” “Are you feeling it?”
#school#jokes#memes#quotes#teacher quote#out of context quotes#funny#science#science teacher#mythology#classical mythology#literature#teaching quote#philosophy#gen z#high school#College#dark academia#chaotic academia
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Overheard At High School
Classmate A: Would you fuck a donkey for $200?
Classmate B: I would fuck you for $20, but the extra $180 sounds pretty good
#incorrect quotes#source: incorrectquotesofmylife#overheard#high school#High school humor#humor#funny shit
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#are senior quotes a thing in most places?#just uh assume you have a senior quote#mine was from parks and rec but im trying to think of what line from sunny i would choose if i was super into it then#“your true power comes not from outside sources but from the delusional stories you convince yourself of#i think that would have been too long for my high school’s year book tho#but that would have been pretty funny#sunnyblr#iasip#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#polls
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