#i wish i can word it proper how significant those words are to her bUT ALAS MY BRAIN IS FRIED & I'M TIRED OUT OF MY MIND

[lunaetis]

for eden, who is still struggling with her own identity, her meaning of existence, her fate and purpose, and the everchanging role she played in the script, her saying " you are my constant. " to someone has such a deep, gratifying weight to it. this means that person is the only person so deeply rooted to her very core that no matter what had happened, what will happen after, or no matter who she was, who she is, who she might be in the future, you are the only one whose existence would not change in her eyes. to her, that statement is like a fact. so immovable and unchanging. and that makes me emotional every time i think about it.

#.headcanon: eden | trailblazer #[ for some reasons i'm suddenly thinking abt this #probably bc it's close to her birthday & i'm deep diving into her core & development for the past year i have her as a muse hjkljhkl #but ever since i had written her she had only said this ONCE #to this day it's probably the most romantic confession i've written for her #and i'm still emotional thinking abt it bc it means SO MUCH for her to utter that to someone #even more than the words ' i love you ' ( that she also doesn't say often ) #i wish i can word it proper how significant those words are to her bUT ALAS MY BRAIN IS FRIED & I'M TIRED OUT OF MY MIND #SO THIS IS ALL I COULD GET OUT ]

[daisynik7]

Reap What You Sew

Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x Original Female Character

Rating: Mature

Word Count: ~5.5k

cw: explicit language, switching POVs (2nd and 3rd person), established relationship, kissing, suggestive, angst, fluff

Summary: A dinner with you, Mitsuya, and your parents quickly goes south. Mitsuya makes a decision that could lead to dire consequences. 

Author's Note: Hello everyone, thank you for your patience with this! Heads up, this story is going to reach a pretty dramatic turning point in the next chapter, so be prepared! And with that ominous warning, enjoy lol. Thank you for reading!

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Mitsuya spends the remainder of their date giving his girlfriend a crash-course in the history of the Tokyo Manji Gang, skipping through the boring, less significant details and emphasizing what she absolutely must know. The most important takeaway is that Tetta Kisaki and Shuji Hanma are not to be trusted at all costs.

Since the encounter, the two left the arcade promptly, Mitsuya glaring at the sketchy captains on the way out, who matched his expression with equal vigor. He made sure they weren’t followed to the station and boarded the train, returning to the park where they had previously spent the most amazing day together. He regrets forcing them to the arcade in the first place, wishing they had stayed laying in the grass, blissful in their own little world, away from any potential danger. How could he be so arrogant to think he could keep these two major parts of his life separate? How could he be so careless to let Hana become involved in this?

Sitting on a park bench, she listens, barely interrupting, nodding along to indicate her understanding. She’s now aware of all the players involved, of who she should avoid and who she can trust, including all of Mitsuya’s closest friends. At one point, she asks, “What about Mikey?”

If this was three years ago, at the height of Toman’s regime, Mitsuya would have a confident answer. However, the founder’s current favoritism towards the new captains leaves many open-ended questions for those who’s been loyal to him from the start. Deep down in his heart, however, Mitsuya still believes in Mikey. He chooses his words carefully. “They’re trying to manipulate him, but we’re going to bring him back. We have to get him back.”

Eventually, he suggests befriending Emma Sano and Hinata Tachibana to learn the ins-and-outs of being a girlfriend of a Toman boyfriend. They’ve both managed to succeed in it without harm, for the most part. Maybe the reason for that is because their boyfriends have both put the gang on the backburner to focus on their personal lives, Draken preparing to be a father and Takemitchy preparing for university. Mitsuya even has his own plans for after high school, but he always figured he would be able to balance his responsibilities all at once. Now that he’s a proper boyfriend, can he add that into his already teetering workload without sacrificing what he already has? Or without one collapsing on top of the other?

Mentally drained from explaining as much as he can, there’s a prolonged silence between them as she lets all the information sink in. After what seems like an eternity, she speaks, a slight waver in her voice, though resilient. “Takashi, it’s going to be okay.”

His brows are tight with worry, holding her hand with a firm grip. “How are you so sure? What if they try to hurt you?” 

She smiles at him. “Because I’m with you. I’ll always be safe when I’m with you.”

He’s scared, absolutely terrified. But her confidence in him moves him to tears. He blinks them away, grinning at her with as much confidence as he can muster. “I’ll keep you safe, Hana. I promise you.”

This is one promise he swears to himself he won’t break. 

~~~

A week after your date, your parents put the pieces together and ask you straight up. “Are you and Mitsuya dating?” It’s your mother who poses the question, your father still as uncomfortable with the subject as he was the morning you announced that you were hanging out with a boy.

The three of you are eating dinner, about finished with the meal on your plate. You almost choke on the last bite, surprised by her very correct accusation. Clearing your throat, you answer honestly. “Yes.”

Your dad makes a strangled nose in his throat, clearly shocked. Maybe he was hoping with all his might that the answer would be no, or that you’d lie about it. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Your mother isn’t quite as keen on playing dumb. She’s noticed the change in your demeanor, the pep in your step, the sound of your hushed voice through the thin walls, speaking to Takashi well into the night on the phone. She doesn’t miss these things. A mother’s intuition never fails. She studies you carefully, almost challenging. “We should invite him over for dinner.”

You know better than to argue with her, so you agree. The next time his mom isn’t working a night shift, that’s when he’ll come for dinner. It’s been decided. 

It’s a Wednesday night when he arrives to your house, dressed in a lavender buttoned-up shirt and black slacks, a colorful bouquet of spring flowers in his hands, smiling wide when you open the door to greet him. His hair is swept back more than usual, gelled and parted to the side, his effort to make a good impression evident. You want to give him a kiss, giddy at his appearance, though you decide against any form of physical affection throughout the night, assuming it wouldn’t be a good look in front of your parents.

He removes his shoes, laying them next to yours on the rack, giving you a sly wink before walking with you into the kitchen, where your parents are putting the finishing touches on their homemade dinner. “Mitsuya, good evening. Thank you for coming,” you mother says, wiping her hands on the front of her apron. She nudges your father, who’s surly near the stove, arms crossed over his chest. He sniffs, avoiding his gaze while he mutters, “Yes, hello.”

Takashi bows, holding out the bouquet when he stands up straight. “Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Shimizu. Mr. Shimizu. It’s an honor to be here with you tonight to share this wonderful meal. I brought these flowers for you.”

Your mom accepts them, smiling politely. “These are lovely. Thank you. I’ve got the perfect place for them. Honey, go ahead and show your boyfriend to the table. Dinner will be ready soon.”

Your father makes a noise, somewhere between a disgruntled huff and an incredulous laugh. You’re unsure how he feels about this whole situation and you pray that he doesn’t grill Takashi too hard tonight. You’re confident in your boyfriend that he will be his authentic, good-natured self and that your parents will learn to like him just as much as you do. You take your seat at the table, Takashi right beside you. Under the surface, hidden from view, he reaches for your hand, squeezing you gently until your parents join you. Your mother sets the flowers in a vase at the center, adding a splash of color to the setting. 

Tonight’s dinner is glazed miso salmon with white rice and steamed vegetables. Takashi admires the meal with sparkling eyes. “This is incredible, Mrs. Shimizu!”

She waves him off. “Oh, this is nothing, dear.”

“It’s definitely something,” he beams, picking up his chopsticks to dig in. “My mom can’t even make rice without burning it.”

She giggles. “So who does the cooking at home, then?”

“Me. I only know how to make the basics for me and my sisters. Hana here has significantly improved our instant ramen by adding fresh ingredients, which is genius. My sisters love her recipe,” he brags, glancing at you. 

“That’s nice to hear. Anyways, help yourself.”

Altogether, you clap your hands. “Thank you for the food!”

There’s a moment of silence while the four of you begin eating, only the tap of utensils on ceramic plates to occupy the silence. Takashi takes a of bite, commenting, “It’s delicious, Mrs. Shimizu.”

“Oh good. If you’d like, I can give you the recipe. Something new for you and your sisters to try at your house,” she offers. 

“I’d love that. Thank you.”

Your father suddenly speaks, startling the rest of you. “So, Mitsuya. That bike of yours. Do you have a license to drive that thing?”

You clench your jaw, nervous about the interrogation that’s about to occur between your father and your boyfriend. Takashi wipes his mouth with a napkin, clearing his throat, giving him his full attention. “Yes, sir. I’ve had my license since I was sixteen.”

Your father raises a brow at him, elbows propped on the surface, hands in prayer, tapping his fingertips to his chin. “Do you enjoy riding it? Seems dangerous if you ask me.”

You almost mutter, Nobody asked you, but you resist the temptation, stuffing your mouth with fish to prevent yourself from blurting anything out. Takashi seems to be handling well, explaining, “I only go the speed limit, sir. And I wear a helmet every time I ride, so it’s pretty safe.”

“And you’ve driven Hana on your motorbike several times already, haven’t you?” His brows are tight, scrutinizing and intimidating. 

“Yes, I have. She has her own helmet and I’m very cautious when she’s with me. Her safety is my top priority. It always will be.”

Your father hums, and you hope you’ve gotten past the worst of it, not expecting him to bring out the big guns. However, you soon find out that it’s far from over. “Are you in one of those biker gangs?”

“Dad!” you cry out, cheeks hot.

Even your mom interjects. “Honey!”

He doesn’t waver, waiting for Takashi’s answer. “Well?”

The smile on your boyfriend’s face drops, his expression more serious when he replies, “Yes, sir. I’m in the Tokyo Manji Gang.” He stutters a bit while adding, “I was one of the founding members.”

As if he cracked the code, your father nods, smirking in a wicked manner. “I’ve heard about them. I noticed your jacket a few times whenever you dropped my daughter off. Don’t think I didn’t do my research on you. I’m aware of your little gang, all the havoc you’ve caused throughout the years.” Your mom calls him by his first name, urging him to stop. He doesn’t relent. 

“I understand your concerns, sir. I won’t deny that I’ve been involved with violence in the past. But I’ve changed a lot since then. I don’t like fighting, I never have. I want a life outside of the gang, and I think I’m on my way there.”

“Oh? How so?” 

“Well, I want to be a fashion designer. I’m quite handy when it comes to sewing.”

“Are you planning on going to a university?”

“Vocational school. After graduation, I’ll be taking a year off to work at a local tailor to save some money for tuition. I’m applying to a school nearby, so that I can be here for my family. And for Hana.” He glances at you, smiling. You reach for him, holding his hand. 

Your father leans forward on the table, intrigued. “So, you’re aware that Hana is attending a university here in Tokyo.”

“Yes, I am, sir. And I know she’s going to study to be a teacher.”

“Yes, that’s right. That means she cannot afford any distractions from her studies.” 

Takashi places his palm over his chest. “I’ll make sure nothing gets in her way of that.” 

“You misunderstand. Boyfriends are a distraction.”

This time, you do interrupt. “Dad, Takashi hasn’t been a distraction for me so far, and he will never be a distraction. He helps me, he supports me. I’m happier because of him.” 

His voice is stern as he bangs a fist on a table, frustrated. “This boy is trouble. It doesn’t matter what he does in his spare time. Sewing, babysitting, I don’t care. At the end of the day, he’s a gang member. A delinquent. A punk.”

Tears well in your eyes, skin prickling with anger. Takashi gazes at his lap, at a loss for words. “How can you be so prejudiced?” you argue. “You don’t even know Takashi, yet you’re judging him. He’s been nothing but kind and sweet to me. It doesn’t matter to me that he’s in a gang, he’s important to me, and I won’t let you belittle him like this!” 

He stands up, throwing his napkin on the table, pointing his finger at you. “You are naïve, Hana! Disillusioned by this silly little fantasy of yours. I won’t let you ruin your life for someone like him. I just won’t!”

You’re on your feet, matching his expression. “I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions. You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Hana.” Takashi’s voice is quiet, the slightest tremble in it. He tugs on your wrist, urging you to calm down. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not!” you whine, cheeks wet with your tears. 

Takashi stands with you, taking a deep breath, directing his words towards your father. “You’re right. I am a gang member, a delinquent, a punk. It’s all true. There was a time that I would risk life and limb for the gang. I almost did after getting my skull fractured by a metal pipe in a fight. My mother and sisters were terrified, thinking they lost me.”

He swallows hard, looking at you with a small smile on his face. “And now with Hana in my life, I’m surer than ever what I need to do. I’m going to leave Toman. For good.”

~~~

It’s Friday night and Mitsuya sits in Draken’s kitchen, a devoured bowl of his friend’s homemade curry in front of him. Emma and Hana are inside the guest bedroom, which is slowly transforming into a nursery. He can hear his girlfriend’s sweet laughter at Emma’s weekly work drama while they assemble a crib that the expecting couple recently purchased. They had met no more than two hours ago, though it seems like they’ve already become fast friends. 

Mitsuya finishes recounting the drama from over a week ago. Draken stands up on the other side of the table, collecting the dirty dishes and carrying them to the sink. “So, what did the old man say after that?”

“Nothing. He ate the rest of the meal in silence. Her mom started rambling about some other stuff to lighten the mood and that was it.” He checks behind him on the two ladies, making sure they can’t hear him. In a hushed voice, he adds, “Hana hasn’t really spoken to him much since then. She said it’ll fizzle out eventually.” 

“Ah, I see.” Draken lets the water run, soaking the bowls. “Do you really mean it?”

“What?”

“Leaving Toman.”

There’s a heavy pause while he thoroughly contemplates his response. “Yeah, I do.”

At the time he announced it, his entire body was buzzing with emotion. It slipped out of his mouth before he realized what he was actually saying. As the days passed, the more confidence he has gained about his decision. All the dreams he has for his future no longer revolve around Toman. And while he wants to remain loyal to his friends, his brothers, he figures he can do that without being involved in the gang anymore. He’s long grown tired of the unnecessary violence and drama.

“Wow,” Draken responds, whistling through his teeth. “Good for you, Taka.”

“How about you?” Mitsuya gets up, leaning against the counter, watching his friend. “Do you ever think about leaving?”

Draken focuses on scrubbing the dishes with a sponge. “Of course I do. But I can’t do that to Mikey.”

“Am I a bad friend?”

Draken stops the faucet, wiping his hands dry on a dish towel, turning to face him. He places a hand on his shoulder. “Not one bit. You should be happy. If this is something you have to do, then do it. You’ll always have our support. Me, Emma, and little Ken Junior.”

It takes a beat to realize his last words. “Wait, Ken Junior?”

Draken beams at him. “Yeah. We’re having a boy.”

They hug, Mitsuya patting Draken’s back extra hard, so excited that his cheeks hurt from smiling, tears welling in his eyes. “Fucking Ken Junior, holy shit.”

Draken sniffles, squeezing him in a tight embrace. “KJ, for short. Emma thinks it’s cute.”

They break apart, laughing. “It is. Does Mikey know?”

“Not yet. Emma finally managed to convince him to come over for dinner next Friday before the Toman meeting. Maybe you should come to, so you can leverage your bad news with our good news,” he jokes. 

“That’s not a bad idea.” A lightbulb shines in his mind, remembering what he overhead a couple of weeks ago at the arcade. “I almost forgot, I have something else to tell you.” 

After recapping the incident with Kisaki and Hanma, Draken stares at him, uneasy. “Are you sure they said that?”

“Positive. They’re trying to take out Mikey.” Admitting it out loud has Mitsuya’s throat dry, the seriousness of it all creating a sense of dread in his chest. This feeling hasn’t left since that day. Voice trembling, he adds, “They also threatened Hana.” 

Draken huffs. “Sons of bitches. I always knew they were scheming. I don’t know why Mikey even trusted them to begin with. We have to tell him. Who knows when they’re gonna go through with it? Could be today, could be tomorrow.”

“I don’t think it’d be random. Kisaki is trying to work his way up, get as close to Mikey as possible. Maybe even take over your spot.” 

“Mikey’s too smart to fall for that,” Draken states, dismissing the very idea of it. 

“I don’t know,” Mitsuya ponders, biting his lip. “Kisaki is in his good graces right now after all that shit with the Leviathans.”

With more conviction, Draken says, “It takes a lot more than that for Mikey to truly trust people. He probably already suspects Kisaki’s true intentions. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. He’s always been a big believer in that.”

Having known Mikey for years, ever since they all first founded Toman together, Mitsuya reconsiders the current situation. Could Mikey’s icy behavior towards his real friends be part of a more elaborate plan to foil Kisaki and Hanma? Is it all an act to test the gang’s loyalties to him and to Toman? After all, their fearless leader has always been one for dramatics. “So should we tell him?”

“We’ll wait until Friday,” Draken suggests. “He’ll want to make a big show out of it, in front of everyone. Have dinner with us and tell Mikey everything, even the stuff about you wanting to quit. Yeah, he might be a little pissed, but once we tell him about Kisaki, he’ll have his fun and feel better.” He smiles at him reassuringly. “Mikey cares for you. We all do. Not because you’re in Toman. Because you’re you.”

Mitsuya’s been contemplating all week long about what he truly wants to do when it comes to his future. It’s terrifying to take that leap outside of what he grew up with and into the unknown. Sure, it’s easy to think that leaving the gang life is easy. For him, Toman has been his comfort. Brothers who protected him, supported him, even when his own family couldn’t. It was exciting, an escape from his less-than-glamorous life.

He doesn’t need that anymore. He has Hana and being in love with her is just as thrilling. The surge of adrenaline that rushes through him each time he touches her, kisses her, hears her voice. He has someone who loves him for all that he is, someone who will continue to love him no matter what. His fellow twin dragon reassuring him is exactly what he needs to solidify his decision. It’s time to move on.

~~~

There’s a palpable tension in the air as you walk into Takashi’s home, fully aware that you’re alone with one another the rest of the night. It’s the first time in a while that your boyfriend’s mother doesn’t have to work on the weekend, so she took this opportunity to bring the girls to their grandparents. Takashi was extended an invitation of course; he declined, wanting to spend some much-needed alone time with you. You’re nervous about staying the night with him though you can’t deny it any longer that you’ve been thinking about this next step in your relationship.

The same genuine smile is on his face when he welcomes you in with a big hug. “Hi,” he greets, kissing you. You drop your bag to wrap your arms around him, melting into his lips. The jitters you had on the way here soon fade as you relax into his embrace. You could stay like this forever, given the chance. He pulls away, cupping your cheek lovingly. “The pizza should be coming soon. Do you want to put your stuff in my room?”

You nod in response, watching him grab your bag, heart racing once more while he leads you by the hand into his bedroom. You’ve been in here before, but never like this. Never with the preface of something more intimate happening, and soon. You still haven’t spoken a single word to him and he senses your trepidation. “Are you okay?” he asks, concerned. 

Unconvincing, you reply, “Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” He plops down at the edge of the bed, patting the spot beside him. 

You sit, hands on your lap, twiddling your thumbs. “I’m a little nervous.”

He holds you, lacing his fingers with yours. “About what?”

You face him. “This.”

Understanding, he leans closer, nuzzling his nose to yours. “I’m nervous too. But you know what? You and I have all the time in the world. We can go at whatever pace we’re both comfortable with. If that means tonight, great. If that means years from now, that’s great too. I just want to be with you, like this.” He brings your hand up to his lips, kissing along your knuckles. 

Your heart swells in your chest, not from nerves this time. “I want to be with you too.”

There’s a slight hitch in his voice before he whispers, “I love you, Hana.” He swallows thickly, repeating himself more surely, gazing into your eyes. “I love you.”

It slips from your mouth easily, naturally. “I love you too, Takashi.” It’s a sentiment that’s been lingering on the tip of your tongue for a while now, and you’re relieved to finally let it out. Ecstatic that he feels the same way as you. 

You and Takashi eat pizza on the couch, laughing over silly stories until there are tears in your eyes and your stomachs hurt in the best way possible. After dinner, you get ready for bed, Takashi gushing about how adorable you are in your pajamas, scooting to one side of the bed to make room for you, instantly cuddling you once you’re in. Moonlight streams dimly through his window, enough for you to see the soothing lavender in his eyes as the two of you stay up a few more hours talking about anything and everything. 

It gets close, almost too close. Chaste kisses that leave the both of you breathless and clearly aroused. Lingering touches, grazes of bare skin, I love you chanted over and over again. But you don’t consummate your relationship tonight. Instead, you fall asleep snuggled together, completely committed to one another for the rest of your lives. And somehow, this seems more intimate than anything else. 

~~~

Another week passes and Mitsuya finds himself once again at Draken’s for dinner on a Friday night. However, the setting is a bit different than usual: the notoriously absent and distant Mikey Sano has joined them. 

The obviously tension is quickly dismissed when Emma makes her important announcement to her brother, who reacts accordingly. After being cold and lifeless to those around him, Mikey sheds his frigid demeanor and cracks the first genuine smile they’ve all seen from him in months. “A baby?” he repeats, almost in disbelief, studying his sister’s tummy, which is starting to show signs of pregnancy. 

“A baby boy, Mikey. You’re going to have a nephew!” she says, tearing up. She holds out the sonogram to him. 

Mikey laughs softly, shaking his head, inspecting the picture. “I can’t believe my little sister is going to have a baby. And with this guy of all people,” he jokes, pointing at the man beside him.

“Hey!” Draken yelps, shoving his arm playfully. “I’ve been doing a damn good job so far providing for your pregnant sister while you’ve been off gallivanting with the Leviathans.”

Mikey’s expression sullens, realizing how accurate that is. “You’re right. I should have been here for you, Emma. I’m sorry. I’ve just been busy.”

“Busy with what?” Draken prods, focusing his attention on him. “Come on, Mikey. We’re your friends. Your family. You can talk to us.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, taking his time to ultimately ignore him and deflect the attention to someone else. “What’s Mitsuya doing here anyways? Don’t tell me he’s gotten someone pregnant too.”

Mitsuya’s alarmed at the sudden spotlight. Chuckling nervously, he replies, “No one else is pregnant, don’t worry.”

“Though he did snag himself a sweetheart, didn’t you, Takashi?” Emma nudges him, grinning. 

“Oh?” Mikey raises a brow, curious.

He waves them off, embarrassed. “Yeah, that’s true, but that’s not why I’m here.” He clears his throat, ready to explain. “Mikey, there’s something you should know about Kisaki and Hanma.”

Mikey listens intently as he recalls the incident from a couple of weeks ago, fresh in his memory. He doesn’t interrupt and his expression remains neutral. When he’s done, Mikey sits in silence, processing this new information carefully. Eventually, he utters a single word. “Interesting.”

Draken’s face contorts into a grimace, unsatisfied with his friend’s reaction, or lack thereof. “That’s all you have to say?”

Mikey shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest. “What else should I say?”

“Kisaki is trying to get rid of you. Aren’t you upset?” Mitsuya asks, bothered by his cavalier attitude.

He smirks. “Did you really think I wouldn’t catch on to that motherfucker’s plan?” 

Draken barks a laugh, slapping Mikey’s back jovially. “I knew it! I fucking knew it! Didn’t I tell you, Mitsuya?!”

Mitsuya relaxes, smiling at the two of them. “So you knew about Kisaki this whole time?”

“The Leviathans aren’t as loyal to him as he thinks they are,” Mikey explains. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I wasn’t sure who to trust. At first,” he answers. 

Draken raises his voice. “You doubted us? After everything we’ve been through –”

“I know. I know, Draken.” His gaze lingers on the sonogram of his soon-to-be-nephew. “It took a while to come back to my senses, but I did. I’m sorry.”

“What about Emma? Why have you been ignoring her?”

Mikey gulps loudly, staring directly at his sister. “I wanted to protect you, so I distanced myself. I didn’t want Kisaki or Hanma thinking I was close to you.” He reaches out to hold her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Emma sniffs, wiping tears away from her eyes with her free hand. “It’s okay, Mikey. I’m just happy to have you back.”

“I promise I’ll be around more, for you and the baby,” he says, smiling at her. 

Mitsuya’s chest is heavy with emotion, happy to see his friend has returned to his normal self, anxious about the news that’s been weighing on his mind lately. He doesn’t want to put a damper on this joyous moment, but Draken doesn’t give him much of a choice when he announces, “Mitsuya has something else he wants to tell you.”

Mikey focuses his attention once more on him. “What is it, Takashi?”

He takes a deep breath, trying not to let his nerves prevent him from doing this. “I’m leaving Toman.”

Mikey blinks at him several times, processing, then his expression softens. “Is this because of this new sweetheart of yours?”

“It’s not just her,” Mitsuya explains. “It’s time for me to move on. Pursue my dreams of becoming a fashion designer. I can’t do that if I’m active in the gang.” He looks down at his lap, avoiding whatever reaction is on Mikey’s face. “I’m sorry.”

It’s silent for a few moments and Mitsuya is convinced that his friend is ready to shun him for the rest of his life. When he hears his soft voice, he looks up, relieved that he isn’t yelling or glaring daggers into his soul. “You don’t have to apologize, Takashi. It’s alright.”

“It is?” 

“Of course it is. We’re brothers. I’ll support you no matter what you decide. And if that means leaving Toman, so be it. It’s tough losing another founding member, but if this is what’s best for you, I have no choice but to be okay with it.” He grins at the picture in front of him. “Besides, there will be a new little one coming soon. Who knows? He could be my successor.”

Emma giggles nervously, not fond of the idea. “Let’s hold off on that for a while longer, shall we?”

It’s almost too good to be true, the way the stars have aligned just right for Mitsuya. His dreams are this much closer to becoming a reality. He’s got everyone in his corner with his entire future ahead of him, brighter and more tangible than it’s ever been before. 

With everything finally out in the open, they’re able to enjoy a relaxing meal, courtesy of Draken, who cooks a delicious dinner for them. Mikey catches up with Emma and Draken on their journey to become parents and Mitsuya shares in small detail about his serious relationship with Hana. 

When they’re done, the three men ride out together towards the shrine, nostalgia hitting Mitsuya hard and directly in his heart. This very well may be the last time he rides with them like this. It’s almost enough to change his mind about leaving. Almost. They’re no longer kids anymore, and he’s learned to be okay with that. 

They have a vague idea of how Mikey’s going to proceed with Kisaki and Hanma, but of course, there’s always something unexpected when it comes to Mikey. After the usual announcements, he calls out for the two to join him front and center. They’re surprised by the unexpected attention, unsure what Mikey could possibly be recognizing them for. 

Mikey’s voice is calm at first. “I want to take this moment to recognize these two, Shuji Hanma and Tetta Kisaki. I trusted them to infiltrate the Leviathans and they did so successfully.” There’s a hesitant round of applause from the confused crowd. 

Mitsuya notices the obvious buzz coming from the Leviathans gathered near the back but resists the urge to turn around to inspect. Takemitchy nudges him, whispering, “What’s going on?”

“You’ll see,” Mitsuya responds.

Mikey continues. “Most of you may not know this, but I’ve grown a bit closer to the Leviathans myself. I wanted to gain their trust, since we were previously rivals. You see, trust is very important to me and very important to Toman. It’s one of the foundations that keeps a brotherhood together, don’t you agree, Kisaki?”

Kisaki’s shoves his glasses up his nose, suspicious of what’s happening. He nods, silently agreeing with him.

Mikey’s voice gets louder. “That’s why when someone breaks my trust, it’s hard for me to look pass that.” He directs his attention to Kisaki, eyes narrowing. “Isn’t that right, Kisaki?”

Hanma interjects, rolling his eyes, impatient with all the banter. “What the hell is this about, Mikey?”

“I’m expelling you both from the gang. Your Toman memberships are revoked immediately.”

There’s a collection of gasps and chatter, mostly everyone surprised by the sudden expulsion of the two captains who were previously praised just weeks before. Draken remains calm next to Mikey, occasionally glancing at Hanma, who flashes a creepy smile on his face, unfazed.

Kisaki yells, “What?! You can’t be serious!”

“Does this sound like a joke to you?” Mikey replies, stone-cold. 

Kisaki throws his hands up in the air, outraged. “What did I do?” 

Mikey walks up to him, nearly nose-to-nose. “You know what you did. Did you really think you could plot to take me out without anyone warning me about it first? Who do you think you are? Have you forgotten who I am?”

“I never did anything like that!” he argues, desperation laced in his tone. “You’re going to trust these nobodies instead of me?! I joined Toman to help you, Mikey. Everything I do is for your sake. Together, we can make Toman the most powerful gang in all of Tokyo. You need me!”

Mikey grabs him by the collar roughly. “I don’t need any part of you. I never have. Now get out of my sight.” He let’s go of him, waiting for them to leave. People from the crowd shout their support of Mikey’s decision, subsequently adding in their malice towards the two ex-Toman members. Hanma has yet to react properly to the situation, seemingly finding this entire altercation amusing, an eerie smirk on his face with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. When they refuse to leave, four burly brothers escort them out. Kisaki is in hysterics, continuing to blab on and on about how much Toman is going to suffer without him. 

Hanma finally speaks when he passes by Mitsuya. “You’re going to regret this,” he threatens loudly to no one in particular, yet Mitsuya has this awful sense that it may be towards him. He bursts into a maniacal cackle as he’s shoved towards the exit, his wicked laughter still ringing in Mitsuya’s ear even when they’re completely gone. 

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev x you #tokrev x reader #mitsuya takashi #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya x you #mitsuya fluff #tokyo revengers mitsuya #takashi mitsuya x reader #takashi mitsuya smut #mitsuya smut #mitsuya x oc #mitsuya x original character #lavender & velvet series

[kagrnak]

A dark wind blows through the mountain pass, ominously whistling like a hot steam pipe. It tosses up piles of ash mingled with snow, tugging at their beards and loose clothes with frigid fingers. Blowing through the empty, cavernous hole where the city of Mzanleft ought to be.

Under the guise of night, the Tongues of Mora descended upon the city from the mountains and shouted it out of this world. What they didn’t shout away, they burnt to its foundation, leaving a blackened, ugly scar across the frozen ground.

Avdleft shifts and grips her spear a bit tighter, attempting to take a bit of the weight off her sore, cold feet. They had walked for three straight days from Kagrenzel, knowing well by the time they would arrive, there would be little that could be done.

It’s a shame. Mzanleft was not a fortress of war, but a city of craftsmen and trade built along a well-used road. She used to get her halfway decent leather shoes repaired here. Yet another example of an endlessly growing line of tragedies inflicted upon them by the Nords. 

A small camp is established at the foothills, sparsely populated with those few survivors. Unable to observe their proper final rites and legalities, the bodies of the deceased were unceremoniously cremated and scattered amongst the ashes of their home. If they were not Dwemer, Avdleft thinks, one might attach some meaning or significance to this.

 Avdleft wanders, uncertain of where her help may best be spent. The pains in her feet ensure she was one of the last to arrive. As she assesses, her aid is largely unnecessary. Perhaps she’ll be able to rest her feet for the first time in days.

But as circumstance holds, a young mer- no more than a child, is wandering through the camp, its wide, glassy eyes staring blankly ahead, frantically mumbling words beneath its breath.

A healer tending to a mer’s burn notes Avdleft’s gaze, “It’s gone mad. Leave it be, there’s nothing that can be done for it.”

She ignores the advice, approaching the child. It doesn’t note her presence, instead, its gaze remains turned towards the valley, perhaps envisioning a city that no longer exists.

Avdleft has seen it before, all too often before, at a certain point the mind benumbs itself and simply caves under the weight. Curse those Nords! She thinks. Too many children left parentless, too many clans without cities.

The child surprises her by speaking in a more direct tone. “They’re speaking of us.”

Words seem to be sticking to her dry tongue, “Who?”

“The tones of the earth.” It says dreamily, swaying on its heels. 

“What do they say?” 

“I’m not real. Nothing is real. Sometimes when I have dreams, I wake up inside the dream before I wake up in real life. But I don’t remember how to wake up anymore.”

“Tell me what else you hear,” Avdleft speaks carefully and slowly, enunciating each syllable.

“Shouting. Lots of shouting. Talking and grownups crying... I thought grownups didn’t cry.”

“What else?”

“The wind. It sounds like a song, see? Oooo.”

“Good. Now tell me what you see.”

“My home, it’s gone now. I used to make snowmen on that hill.”

Avdleft crouches down. Sorely wishing she had mittens, she cups snow in her bare hands and compacts it into a neat ball, repeating the process twice more. Then, shifting through the snowbank and exposing the talus below, she grabs a handful of pebbles. Carefully she embeds the stones into her miniature snowmen.

“See? We can still make snowmen.” Taking the child’s hands, she places her creation to the child’s palms. “What do you feel?” 

“Nothing.”

“What do your hands feel?” She prods again.

“Cold. I feel cold.”

Avdleft rises, smiling. “Then we should get you a blanket to warm up, hm?” She moves to turn away, before feeling a tug at her skirts.

The child’s head is bowed, the snowman denting the pristine snow. Clutching the fabric with a grip so tight its knuckles are white. When it speaks, it’s in a voice of quiet desperation. “Please don’t go. I don’t want to disappear.” 

Avdleft pauses, before kneeling down once again and drawing the child in her arms. “I’ll stay. I promise.”

******

Kagrenac surveys the empty valley with an expression as cool as the air around her. Despite the passed time, so thoroughly was the land ravaged, that not even lichen dares to colonize the sediments left behind.

“What is it, my Lord?” Her retainer asks, stopping his mount in its tracks.

Though a maelstrom of thoughts swirls in her head, she speaks the truth as she sees it before her. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

#kagrenac #need to stop mulling over this and actually post it

[courtlyharlequin]

Gotta say I love your writing!! It’s just absolutely wonderful and I can’t wait to see more of it ^-^ May I request some head cannons of the dorm leaders reacting to their S/O fainting suddenly from overworking themselves?

Rest Easy

A/N: Hello~ thank you for requesting. I’m glad you like my writing! This honestly means a lot to me. I’m sorry this took so long to write, but thank you for your patience. I hope it’s up to par ^^

Riddle Rosehearts:

He was completely caught off guard. You were walking next to him one moment and now you were on the ground. He drops whatever he’s holding and rushes to your side. He calls your name out several times in a firm yet worried tone. Riddle also makes sure to check your breathing as well. A relieved sigh escapes his lips

The redhead slings your arm around his shoulder and drags you to the infirmary. He struggles a bit to say the least. He was lugging an unconscious person to the other side of the school, but he digresses as your health and safety is a priority at the moment

Riddle lets the staff tend to you and waits by your side. He holds your hand, playing with your fingertips and finding himself staring out the window. His eyebrows are furrowed. He’s your boyfriend, your significant other, yet he was so caught up in his studies and duties as a prefect that he didn’t see the signs

By the time you wake up, he’s fallen asleep at your bedside. You card your fingers through his hair and his lashes flutter

“You worried me.”

You two talk for a bit about your health. It mainly consisted of Riddle lovingly scolding you for not taking better for yourself

Leona Kingscholar:

He sensed something off about you that day. Your eye bags were dark and deep. He shrugged it off because you told him you stayed up a tad too late to catch up on homework

When hanging around in his room afterschool, you fainted. You were sitting at his desk and he was seated at the edge of his bed. You were babbling about your history classes, but Leona could tell you were trying to hold on to your consciousness

Eventually, you fainted. He clicks his tongue before lunging towards you, wrapping his arm around your waist, catching you before you fell onto the floor

He lays you on his bed before going to find a glass of water for you

Leona comes back with the glass, but also a bowl of water and a wet towel too. He places the towel onto your head. Now, all he can do is wait. You’re breathing. You’re fine– just overworked, but it’s only a matter of time before you wake

When you gain consciousness, he just lets you talk. He hugs you if you need him to, running a hand through your hair. There’s the occasional forehead kiss as well. He’s quiet for the most part, but he’ll admit you worried him

After you promise to take better care of yourself, he climbs onto the bed and drapes the blanket over the both of you, telling you to get some more sleep. He won’t let you go until you’re well rested

Azul Ashengrotto:

Like Riddle, Azul panics, rushing to your side and calling out your name. He firmly shakes your shoulder. With no response, he scopes you up in his arms and carries you to the Octavinelle dormitory

There, he tends to you. He lays you on your back and raises your legs to help blood flow to your head. He takes off your shoes and loosens your tie– anything to make your recovery more comfortable

He’s honestly very worried but he knows that if he panics, he might be doing more harm than good

You regain your consciousness quickly, but he’s not letting you walk away from him without proper rest. Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing. You’re overworked and you just fainted!

He listens to your troubles and offers you some advice as someone who’s always busy too. He offers to help you with your work if it’ll lighten the load in exchange that you’ll rest properly

Can’t have you faint on him again, now can we?

Kalim Al-Asim:

He invited you over to Scarabia to let loose after exams. He knows you’ve been working hard as of late so he wanted you to relax with a small banquet, filling food and feel-good vibes. Kalim nearly drops his drink after hearing a loud thud. He turns around to see your lifeless figure on the floor

His eyes widened as he rushed to your side. Students crowd around you both; he can hear their distant whispers. His heartbeat rings throughout his ears, muffling their voices.  He sighs when he sees your chest rise and fall

Kalim isn’t quite sure exactly what to do. His thoughts are all over the place, but he knows that he should get you out of her quickly. He could save the questions for later.

He slings your arm around his shoulder. He crosses paths with Jamil on his way to the bedroom. He gives him a silent nod. The vice prefect quickened his pace and tends to the common room

The prefect ushers you onto his bed and turns on the fan. He isn’t familiar with fainting, but he is familiar with tending to someone who’s unconscious. Jamil has been poisoned a handful of times on his behalf and he’s seen the maids tend to him. While you don’t need an antidote, you need to be laid on your back and have anything tight loosened. He places your feet on a tower of pillows, redirecting your blood flow to your head

When you wake, he embraces you wholeheartedly. Kalim refrains from bombarding you with questions as to why you fainted albeit he is thankful that you told him out of your own volition. He’ll definitely offer to do something lighthearted together to ease your mind. How about a game of mancala?

Vil Schoenheit:

He was already scolding you for overworking yourself. You can’t hide those eye bags from him. He’s been doing his best to keep you in check– making sure you eat three meals a day and sleep on time. However, you have to meet him halfway

Vil’s breath hitches as he sees your figure fall towards the ground. Luckily, he catches you by the wrist, pulling you close to him before gently laying you on your back.

He tries to compose himself, but that nearly gave him a heart attack. Sure, he knew about your workload, but he didn’t expect you to faint

He brushes his feelings aside to tend to you. Your health is most important to him as of now. He’s not unfamiliar with fainting. Fortunately, Vil has never fainted himself, but he’s had his share of fainting incidents. His colleagues often fainted due to overworking as well

Honestly… what was he going to do with you? He shakes his head as he checks for your pulse and breathing. He doesn’t hesitate to search up ways to help someone when fainting. He wants to take care of you thoroughly and to the best of his abilities. He may have witnessed others tend to an individual who has fainted, but he’s no expert

Be prepared for an earful when you wake up. Vil has a lot to say to you. You should be taking care of yourself. Know your limits. You can’t put forth your best efforts if you’re dead tired. He plans a self care day for you both

No if’s, and’s, or but’s. You’re going to rest. Vil understands the need to overexert yourself, going the extra mile for your work, your passions, but there’s a limit. Success comes from resting as much as it comes from hard work. Cut yourself some slack, Fairest

Idia Shroud:

It’s a miracle Idia didn’t faint himself. He’s scared out of his mind. Are you alright? A thousand thoughts race through his mind. What happened? You were fine a moment ago! Please don’t tell him you just died on the spot. Or worse– possessed by a ghost?!

Worst case scenarios flood his mind. Some of them are completely irrational, but he doesn’t consider that. Anything is possible

He mutters your name under his breath repeatedly as he shakes your shoulder. Each time, his voice grows louder and louder

Idia runs to get some help. He returns with Ortho who scans your lifeless figure, confirming that you are indeed alive, just overworked and exhausted. He urges his brother to carry you back to Ignihyde to let you rest properly. The floor isn’t comfortable for humans

Reluctantly, he drags you back to his room. He stays by your side. He holds your hand while playing a game. The poor prefect nearly drops his phone when you squeeze his hand, letting him know you’re awake

Idia starts rambling. He was worried sick! His stammering comes to a halt when you kiss him on the cheek as thanks

In turn, he buries his head into the crook of your neck. He’s red to the tips of his ears now. He honestly didn’t do much. He wishes he could have done more to lighten your workload to be honest

Nevertheless, Idia puts on a brave face for you and crawls into the bed with you

Malleus Draconia:

Color him surprised. You were standing and then you weren’t. He turned around once he heard a loud thud only to find you on the floor. At first, he thought you had tripped over your own feet. You were a klutzy beastie after all. It wouldn't be the first time this happened. He found it endearing

Malleus chuckled as he crouched down to offer you a hand. He blinked twice when you didn’t take his hand. You didn’t even say a word. He pokes your cheek and cocks his head

“(y/n)?”

Still no response. Now he’s worried. What happened to you? You were still breathing, but you weren’t awake. Have you fallen asleep? But in broad daylight… He brushes your hair aside to examine your face. You did have dark circles, but he doesn’t believe that would be the cause of this. You would have yawned more frequently

Well, no matter. It would be best to get you to bed. Leaving you in the hallway wasn’t  a viable option. You would certainly be more comfortable on a mattress

He sighs as he scoops you up in his arms and teleports to his bedroom

There, he lays you on his bed, tucking you in snugly. Malleus places a gentle kiss on your forehead

He waits by your side. If you show signs of distress in your slumber, then he might enchant your dreams with a little bit of magic to make you sleep more comfortably

When you wake, Malleus will lend you an ear to listen to your troubles. If you insist on going back to your work, then he’ll sit you back down and prop open a book and begins reading. You find yourself slowly falling asleep

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader

[cheesyficwriter]

Can you do a prequel to “Here We Go Again”? The day before when the blond is flirting with Ron and Hermione is getting jealous. From Harry’s POV! :)

Hiya, @cynthia-granger! I'm so sorry this has taken me a long time — looooong time 😳 — to get to, but I was able to drum up some inspiration given today's theme for @romioneweek. Here is part 2 of Harry's perspective of Ron/Hermione's jealousy. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1: Here We Go Again

Romione Week Day 4: A Different Perspective

Typical

It's a typical day in the Ministry, or so Harry thinks.

He's excited for the prospect of today's lunch as his stomach rumbles with hunger. Will there be corned beef sandwiches? Steak and kidney pie? He's salivating from the mere thought.

Hermione gripes beside him as they walk together, babbling on about how she isn't really all that hungry — typical — but she hasn't seen Ron in nearly a week since he departed on a mission and needs to give him a "proper hello".

Even just those two words are too much for Harry's ears. He really doesn't want to be thinking about his best friends in that way.

"Well, where is he?" Hermione huffs almost as soon as they walk into the crowded Atrium, an impatient trill hanging on the edge of her tone.

"I'm sure he'll be along shortly," Harry assures. He hopes he's right, so he can say a quick "hi" to his best mate and leave the couple to their own agenda while he piles a plate high with food.

Scanning the room, he blinks twice when he spots a familiar head of hair.

"Wait, I see him! Actually…" Harry's eyes grow wide and he spins Hermione around so that she's not looking in the same direction as him. "That wasn't him."

"Who wasn't him?" Her eyes narrow, indicating that she doesn't believe him in the slightest.

"I saw red hair, but it-it was another ginger bloke," Harry stammers. Blimey, he really should be better at lying by now.

"What ginger bloke?" Hermione interrogates. "We know almost everyone in the Ministry!"

Shit. Time to deflect. "There are other ginger-haired wizards outside of the Weasley family, Hermione."

"I know that, I just can't recall any who…" Hermione pauses, pursing her lips as she crosses her arms. "You're deflecting."

Why does he have to be best mates with the smartest witch of his age?

"What? No!"

"Harry Potter, tell me what is going on right now or I will hex you!"

Harry mulls over her threat for a brief moment. He's been witness to an angry Hermione with a wand before. Better not risk it.

"Fine." He sighs, rotating his finger in the air. "Turn around."

Hermione spins in place at once, curiosity morphing into a frown that becomes etched across her face.

"Who is that?"

The sight she finds is of one Ron Weasley, conversing quite closely with an unfamiliar witch with long blonde hair.

Harry shrugs. "I think she's new. I don't know her name."

"And why does she have her hand on my boyfriend?"

"See, this is why-" Harry doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence before Hermione goes marching over in Ron's direction, sticking very true to her determined, albeit somewhat abrasive nature.

Sighing to himself, he mumbles, "This is why I can't stand you two sometimes."

Harry watches Ron's eyes light up as she approaches, his smile quickly fading into a look of apprehension as she not-so-subtly slides her way in between Ron and the other woman. Hermione then pushes her back into Ron's chest suggestively while lifting an eyebrow, challenging the blonde woman with a smirk. Harry can see Hermione's mouth moving at rapid speed, making him wish he had an Extendable Ear so that he can listen in to the conversation too.

Harry struggles to maintain his laughter as he watches Ron's face turn a significant shade of red before relaxing and replacing the shock on his face with pride, naturally wrapping an arm around Hermione's waist.

He's so bloody chuffed.

The blonde woman scurries off just moments later, a scarlet tint on her cheeks indicating clear embarrassment. He almost feels sorry for the woman, knowing she walked into a force to be reckoned with.

"Ron!" He overhears Hermione reproach, as she's now turned fully into his arms and he's whispering in her ear. "Not here!"

Harry doesn't even attempt to resist rolling his eyes, wondering why he's subjected himself as a witness to their charades, knowing damn well how it was going to end — how it always ends.

At least they replaced not speaking to each other for weeks on end with snogging — only slightly less annoying. He laughs inwardly at the thought of Ginny. If she was here, she’d have a grand time taking the mickey out of them.

"Isn't Ron so big and strong?" Hermione coos as they approach their best friend, leaning into Ron's side, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey!" Ron defends. "S'not my fault that's what she thinks!"

"Don't worry, love," Hermione pats him on the chest. "I never said that I don't think that as well."

Oh bloody hell, how is Harry going to stomach his lunch now?

"You alright there, Harry?" Ron asks, concern etched between his brows.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry waves off, distracted by the smell of food — glorious food —that he’s eager to find, knowing it’s close by. "Welcome back, mate."

"Cheers!" Ron grins. "Hey, listen, Hermione and I think we're going to go-"

"Yeah, yeah," Harry waves off again. "Go on, get out of here, you two."

"Thanks, Harry," Hermione smiles, and the two walk off arm in arm, giggling back and forth about Merlin knows what.

The sight makes Harry's lips curl up, grateful that despite the typical, disgusting displays of affection between the two, they finally managed to get their shit together. He'll take this over their endless rowing and hostile demeanor towards each other any day.

Now, where are those sandwiches?

#romioneweek2021 #romione #romione fanfic #romione fanfiction #ron weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley x hermione granger #harry potter fanfic #harry potter has had enough #harry pov #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #ronmione #jealousy #post war #cheesyficwriter

[hpiguess]

Narcissa and Draco’s Relationship

Is constantly overlooked in this fandom and I have no idea why

Think about it: Draco was Narcissa’s only family (besides her husband) for a long time. This should be more significant than it is

She doesn’t, presumably, have any contact with Andromeda for many many years

Bellatrix was locked up for well over a decade

Regulus is dead

Sirius is disowned and also locked up for over a decade

We never hear anything of Druella and Cygnus, so it’s probably safe to say they’re no longer around in one capacity or another

Walnburga and Orion are dead

We never hear of any family on her mother’s side. Technically I guess there could be some, as all of those pure blood families seem to be interlocked one way or another, but nothing close enough for even a passing mention

Draco was, for at least 13-14 years, Narcissa’s only blood relative. As we know, family and loyalty is very important to Slytherins (for the most part anyways). By the time the second war is in swing, Lucius decides that loyalty to Voldemort is more important than keeping his family safe. I don’t know how you come back from that, or if it’s even possible at all, so by the end of that war I’m willing to bet there was a pretty major rift drawn in that marriage.

Even before that though, I can imagine Narcissa being fiercely protective over Draco when he was a child. She came from a large family and by her mid twenties, that was completely destroyed and she was left with only her husband and child. Lucius could take care of himself but Draco? Little vulnerable Draco?

That was her son, and she would be caught dead before anything ever happened to him.

I think Draco would have been a relatively extroverted child, and yes extroverted children can be annoying. But I don’t think she hummed and nodded along, I think she would have listened intently to every word he had to say, and she would hold on tight. Narcissa knew she only had so long before he would be off to school and she couldn’t keep him so close anymore.

Narcissa probably had a hard time once he did go to school. Nine months out of the year, just gone. She wouldn’t be able to properly watch him grow up, his sphere of influence would grow and that was scary. She didn’t want her son to end up like Andromeda or Bellatrix or Regulus or Sirius.

She didn’t want to lose her little boy.

So when the war did finally come, and she saw the crippling stress, the bags under her son’s eyes, yeah I think it might have caused some problems. Some of the blame for that probably went onto Lucius, no matter how much she loved him, and I really don’t think she could ever forgive him for that.

I’m not sure that Draco was fully aware of the extent of his mother’s feelings, or the circumstances that led her there. For that reason, when she did ultimately go a little too hard trying to keep him close, he found it a bit overbearing and shut himself away from her more.

The tragedy of their relationship is that it really is a vicious cycle. On a surface level their lives look so similar (pure blood, proper upbringing, money, class, external coldness, war, etc.) with generational differences, but despite being mother and son their situations, or at least reactions to them, are so different. She takes a step forward, he takes a step back.

But I think it could be different, once the initial end of war shock wears off. Hard to say, I guess it depends how you look at it. It could go great, or be a spectacular failure.

In any case, their relationship is often hard overlooked, and I wish it was explored more thoroughly by more people.

#harry potter #draco malfoy #narcissa black #narcissa malfoy #this is like half headcanon and half canon #idk #do as you please #I like to think about it tho

[moonbaby26]

Title: The Past

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader, and past references to Peter x Crystal (from The Inhumans).

Summary: Continuation from previous chapter. Set after the battle with Apocalypse, you and the others are still biding your time while waiting to get back home. After touching base with Xavier to see where everything stands, you get to spend some more alone time with Peter and learn more about his fears and his past.

Notes: Please don’t @ me Inhumans fans! 🥺 I have zero problem with Crystal. And for those that don’t follow the comics, Crystal and comics!Quicksilver were once married, even having a daughter together named Luna. But the two weren’t compatible, and things went sour. Crystal cheated on him (Pietro was shitty to her too) and their marriage was eventually annulled. She remarried later, but he never did.

Warnings: Some cursing, a bit more necking. Talk of past unhealthy relationships, mention of sex.

Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp , @wintwrsoldiwr , @tommy-braccoli , @amourtentiaa , @cringingmemeries , @bi-panicatthe-disco , @himbos-are-my-lifeblood , @simp4mcuwomen

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

“Charles!” You heard Hank’s relieved surprise from somewhere nearby, yourself immediately trying to get back out of the bunk at the commotion.

Peter had no choice but to let go of you then, albeit still somewhat reluctantly before he sat up himself, grabbing his crutches off the floor to follow you.

“Well it’s about time. We were starting to wonder if we needed to mount another rescue,” Raven chimed in, one hand on her hip as she looked Xavier over. “Rough night?”

You could see the Professor then, seated tiredly in the wheelchair they’d given him with the rest of the group now standing around as you joined them.

“It was quite a strenuous night, yes,” Xavier responded, evidently having just come into the barracks as the door still hung open behind him.

Peter chuckled oddly beside you at the Professor’s choice of words. Though not all that loud to really have been intended for the group.

You wouldn’t have thought much of it, except for the funny look that came over Xavier’s face as he chided him instantly. “Peter, that is entirely inappropriate.”

But the others, save maybe Jean, looked just as confused as you at the seemingly random exchange, before Xavier kept on.

“Yes, Peter...Moira did accompany me all night. We had a lot to catch up on, even after the officials were done with their lengthy interrogations. But she and I talked. Please do keep your mind from the gutter. The strenuous activity I was referring to was the constant mental blocking and redirecting I imposed to those doing the questioning as to spare you all from being put in a poor light, or even remembered too well as significant players in this at all to keep you out of their future investigations.”

For his own part though, Peter didn’t look too embarrassed, or put off any really from the abrupt admonishment. Even as the Professor had just given details on the lengths he’d gone through to protect everyone, Peter only smiled, raising both hands as if to feign innocence, the crutches propped under his arms. “Hey now. No judgement here, Prof. And I didn’t say it out loud, right?”

“You didn’t have to.” Xavier sighed. “When something strikes you as funny, especially something sophomoric, you transmit it like a beacon.”

Peter looked both curious and amused at that new concept, but said nothing more.

A sly look was starting to glean behind Raven’s eyes though before she interceded instead. “You know, I don’t think I fully believe you, Charles.”

“Pardon?” There was a little surprise as Xavier glanced up to her.

But she just tilted her head, smirking slightly. “For as much crap as you always gave me about staying ‘professional’ with teammates back in the day, you think I’d just offer no comment now? Don’t lie to them. You didn’t only talk. Knowing your past with her, I’m sure of it actually.”

Peter just whistled then as Hank stared in helpless silence.

“Raven...” The Professor warned, but already knowing it was likely futile. “Is this really the time?”

“These might be your new X-Men, Charles.” She motioned to you all. “After all they’ve been through in the last 48 hours, I promise you they aren’t just kids anymore. Just like we weren’t.” She glanced to Hank briefly, then back to the Professor. “Don’t make them think we all walked around like robots back then, or that we would now. I always hated when you did that.”

Xavier closed his eyes a moment, taking a breath before looking back to everyone. “Admittedly, there has been much self sacrifice recently, and I am extremely proud of you all for how you rose up to help defend one another when everything was at stake. And there is nothing shameful in forming more personal bonds, of course. Raven is correct in that regard, though her delivery and sense of timing may leave something to be desired.”

Raven still shook her head. “You use so many words to still say nothing sometimes.”

“Hank, feel free to speak up any time now really.” Xavier deadpanned.

“Um, well...” Hank stammered a bit. “Did they say anything about when we might get to leave?”

The awkwardness was lessened somewhat at that as you all perked up at the question, equally ready to move on from this ship.

“Yes in fact, thank you, Hank.” The Professor was visibly relieved to get back to a more practical subject. “We will sleep here again tonight, but tomorrow they’re taking us to Kasteli airport on the island. It’s just a single runway, but large enough for the government flight they’re chartering to come here. It will be making multiple stops to pickup as many stranded U.S. targets as possible in the European region before crossing the Atlantic to deliver us to McGuire Air Force base in New Jersey.”

“Really...Jersey?” Peter commented flippantly. “Better than nothing I guess.”

But Xavier just ignored the interruption this time, “Moira’s contacts will furnish us all with I.D.’s and passports to get back into the country. For those of us that already had one, but may have lost it in all the recent events, it will be a reprint from previous government record. For those that never had one, they will create them for you.” He looked to Ororo and Kurt particularly there.

“What about the school?” Scott asked, “And all the other students? Are they okay?”

It was true that after you’d all been taken by Stryker and his men, you couldn’t know what had happened to anyone else after. Where they’d gone now with no place to stay, and if they’d remained safe with Magneto’s previous lashing out on the world.

The Professor nodded, clearly approving of that concern. “It was very difficult to get in contact with anyone directly. But again, Moira pressured her agency for assistance there. I’m told they were finally able to reach some of the staff who had taken the students to nearby hotels while trying to inform their families of their whereabouts. The explosion has been officially deemed due to a ‘gas leak’ however.”

He looked to Scott directly then though before continuing solemnly. “Of course for your family, Scott, an agent went personally to inform them of the truth. I’m so sorry. I know there hasn’t been any time to mourn Alex yet. His sacrifice will not be forgotten. He was only trying to protect me. We will have a proper ceremony for him as soon as we are able.”

You saw Jean take a hold of Scott’s hand as he only nodded rather than reply, seemingly unwilling to talk much more on that subject right now.

Xavier understood, keeping on. “As for the school itself, it will take time to rebuild of course. For those that do have safe homes to return to with family, that will have to be where they stay for now.” Yet the look in his eyes said how surely he knew that that would not be the case for many. A very common thread in so many of your histories was rejection by your own families.

“And for those who do not have anywhere else safe to go, I’m going to see what we can rent or lease in the interim once we’re back in the states. Hopefully something a bit more comfortable than the local motels.”

“And Stryker?” Raven interjected again, a little coldness to her voice though. “Did you call your ‘interviewers’ out on that bullshit?”

The Professor ruffled slightly at the language, but did not argue with it. “They claimed ignorance on those operations entirely. Looking into their minds, they did believe those facilities existed, but it was completely above their security clearance to know anything of what went on inside them. I think Stryker had partnered more with a private firm to be honest.”

Hank sighed. “Wonderful, more secret organizations bent on using us for experimentation and weaponry.”

Xavier agreed. “Yes, that will remain an ongoing threat I’m afraid. But all the more reason for us to keep training the youth. We will not be helpless in this world as long as we continue to grow our strengths together, and protect one another.”

Raven raised her eyebrows at those words. “Hmm. That almost sounds like the need for some kind of team again, doesn’t it, Charles? Fighters instead of pacifists? Maybe you should actually listen to the things I say for once.”

He didn’t rise to her baiting though, only starting to back his chair away then. “In due time, Raven. We shall see where this all ends up. But as for the present, now that everyone is caught up on what we know, I believe several of you were wishing for some time above deck.”

“That is an understatement,” Ororo answered, looking surprisingly uncomfortable the more you actually looked at her then. “The longer we’ve been here the more it feels like a tomb.” She added.

“She has claustrophobia.” Jean replied only in your mind, likely seeing the puzzlement on your face. “But she’s been hiding it well.”

You felt a bit guilty for not having noticed regardless, immediately glad for Jean sharing so that you could end that obliviousness. That was just the basics of being friends, knowing what the others were going through, to be of help whenever you could.

“Yes, absolutely!” You spoke up too. “Will they let us walk around a while up there?” The whole Mediterranean was outside, the sky and the water. And anything would be better than this endless grey metal, bulkheads, and compartments all in artificial lighting.

“I don’t know that I’m going to give them much choice,” Xavier smiled, fully exiting back out of the doorway then. “Come along all of you. We’ll see what we can do.”

—————————

You were certain that the Professor had indeed used a good bit of mental persuasion to grant you all full access to the flight deck. But as no planes were taking off, landing, or anything at all really, it was fairly safe to wander as you pleased right now.

Scott had wanted to get a closer look at some of those jets regardless though. Himself, Jean, Kurt, and Ororo going over to check out those that were still parked near the center of the deck.

Raven and Hank had wandered off somewhere near the bow, while Moira had reappeared and you’d seen her sit down in the shade under the ship’s bridge tower with Xavier. You could see them still talking as you and Peter had walked off towards the stern.

The air did feel as good as you’d hoped. It was cool, with that distinct smell of salt, dancing both you and Peter’s hair around lightly in the breeze.

But you wished you could really be at the water’s edge, to touch it, or even swim in it. It’d been such a long time since you’d gotten to be at the ocean.

It made you wonder too though where Peter had spent his time as a child. Had his family travelled to the beach much during his summers growing up?

“So you lived near Washington D.C.?” You asked, looking upward though as you now walked under a fighter jet’s wing, many more left waiting here at the aft of the ship. You remembered his words to Magneto, about the Pentagon being so close to their home at some point. Even if Peter had never known his father had been imprisoned there all along.

“Still do.” Peter answered, reaching out to grab your hand before you walked back out of the shade from under the jet. “Want to sit down?”

You glanced back at him, already wondering if he was being purposeful in this location or not. You were now as far from the others as could be after all. And even from the bridge, the sailors wouldn’t be able to see you now beneath this jet.

He smirked, maybe knowingly even as he responded crassly. “What? These things are killing my armpits.”

You smiled, still wondering, but helped him sit down anyway as you set the crutches beside you before joining him.

“So you still live by the Capitol....” You continued, gently prodding to try and hear more about him.

“Yeah,” He snaked one arm around your waist. “Suburbs just outside of D.C. Still in my Mom’s basement, same as always.”

You did recall him joking about that on the ride to Egypt, about still living with his mother. But what kind of woman was she though? Bold enough to flee from Magneto to a whole new country to raise her children at least. “Is she...” You weren’t quite sure the polite way to ask. Or actually if you even should, but it was already out of your mouth, so you continued hesitantly. “Is she like us?”

“Nah. She’s not a mutant.” He responded easily. “But my sister is.”

You looked back to him at that. He hadn’t told you much about Wanda yet, besides the fact that they were twins and that maybe she’d had some struggles with depression. Which was so common for your kind as well as you tried to learn to accept yourselves and the world’s sometimes cruel view of you.

The reminder of him being a twin was of course fuel for your imagination too as you tried to picture what any twin sister of Peter’s could really be like.

But he was getting surprisingly good at reading your expressions it seemed as he just laughed. “No, Wanda’s not just a female version of me if that’s what you’re thinking. I doubt the world could handle that, right?”

“Probably not.” You admitted. Trying not to get distracted with the mental image of a much more feminine Peter zipping around.

When you felt him tug you closer to him, you came back to attention. His fingertips were messing with one pocket of your pants idly now.

“She’s way smarter. More powerful for sure.” He then continued after a moment, with a little more consideration. “A little scary too actually. A lot more like our Dad I guess.”

“More powerful than you?” You asked honestly. Of course his powers might not be as in your face as something like Scott’s eye beams, or Ororo’s lightning bolts and their destructive power. But he’d already impressed you, no question.

“Well yeah. I’m just a jerk that runs fast.” He replied, looking a little surprised by your sincere look. “You think that’s powerful?”

“Peter, you can practically stop time on a whim. That’s way more than just running fast.” And that was no exaggeration to you. There was no other way to explain how he’d cleared the whole mansion even faster than the explosion could take it.

“I mean it’s saved my ass a few times yeah.” He conceded. “But...” He quieted, still watching you.

That serious look had come into his eyes again, like a cloud crossing over the light. He wanted to say something more and couldn’t.

“What?” You finally asked gently. It was just the two of you now. “You can say whatever you want, Peter.”

It was so evident that he wasn’t yet used to the freedom of expression that many of the rest of you were. He hadn’t had those years worth of safety net within the school, getting to air your thoughts with one another as almost second nature after so long.

He took a breath before eventually trying though. “Well...when I first started figuring out what I could do, it was such a rush, definitely. I could skip class whenever, take anything I knew Mom couldn’t or wouldn’t buy me. The dickheads that used to try to push me around couldn’t even touch me anymore.”

Yet he shifted, some unease still building in him even as you just listened quietly. “But, eventually you realize the people who barely gave you any notice before, that then they can’t even see you at all any longer.”

He was looking in your eyes again, as if he was still waiting to see some judgement there, but he’d already said too much to stop now. He couldn’t reel it back in, even if he may have wanted to. “And when I got older, I finally started having these nightmares...that everything got stuck like that you know. More and more, that I was going to do it too long one day, too many times one day and everything was going to finally stick that way for good. That no one would ever hear or see me again. Like this super shitty purgatory, of frozen people all around, and you’re just some ghost moving through them.”

You were surprised at first, yes. But maybe not so much the more you really considered it. What he spoke of was a horrible fate to consider to be sure. But for someone you already knew could actually be very self conscious at his core, there was even another layer to it. Was it really that much of a stretch that he could also worry about feeling even more unseen? More invisible, to the point that that could be his life forever?

The flashy jackets and clothing tied in a bit more now to that overall profile you were putting together here. But it meant so much to you that he was willing to share this at all, when it clearly was something very deep for him.

“I still dream that sometimes.” He admitted. “Freaking sucks.” He raised his bare left wrist then, looking at it with some regret. “It’s normally why I always wear a watch too. If nobody’s around for me to judge what speed I’m moving at, I have to look at the second hand to make sure it’s still trying to move. Freaks me the hell out if I can’t check it.”

You knew he’d left all his other things in the jet when everyone had changed into those flight suits before heading to Egypt. And all that was gone now. “You are powerful.” You insisted softly though. “And I don’t think I’ve ever met one of us yet that didn’t fear losing control, of becoming a victim to our own abilities in the end...”

Without thinking you turned then, getting up on your knees so you could wrap your arms around him. You felt him tense only for a moment, surprised but then quickly accepting the tight hug for what it was as he relaxed into it.

You spoke into his ear as he slid his arms back around you in return. “You don’t have to hold any of these things in any longer either though. You’re with friends now.”

But when your grip eventually loosened, he just pulled you around so that you were then seated nearly in his lap before he hugged you around your waist again.

“But for how long?” He asked seriously. “You and the others will go back to New York won’t you once we’re back in the U.S.? And I’ll have to go back to D.C. to show Mom I’m not dead, I���m sure she’s tripping out right now.”

“Well...” You understood he’d certainly have to go home for at least a while. But the school would be rebuilt eventually. “Have you thought about, once the school is established again I mean, maybe joining us?”

That did get a slight chuckle from him. “I’m already a dropout, babe. I never even finished high school. Not really a good candidate for higher learning.”

But you weren’t so easily dissuaded. “It’s more than just math and science classes, Peter. The younger kids always need mentors. And there’s the chance of working with the Professor and the other staff too, learning to unlock your full potential. You don’t have to hold back there, or hide anymore.”

He caught you by the bottom of your chin then though, tilting your head back as he seemed to consider kissing you again. “You want me to come there then?”

“Yes.” You agreed, the word at least sounding confident despite your heart rate increasing again.

“And are we going to share a bunk again tonight?” He smirked, knowing full well he was now derailing a previously serious conversation.

“I guess that depends on you.” You tried to counter, but he really had too unfair of an advantage in how easily he could still fluster you. And you weren’t sure when that was ever going to fade.

You waited for him to continue the banter though. To do anything really. But for several long moments he only watched you instead.

“Well?” He finally said.

“Well what?” You answered.

“You want to make out under this fighter jet before they call off mutant recess? The bell’s probably going to ring soon to send us all back to being out of sight, out of mind on the U.S.S buzzkill.”

Sometimes you wondered if he was actually the older of you two at all. “Don’t enjoy your own jokes too much now. You know what Xavier said about you transmitting your thoughts.” You were at least able to taunt back a little.

“Ah, he’s all about that CIA chick right now. I mean, more power to him, nothing wrong with it. She seemed pretty badass. But he should have just taken the compliment earlier instead of trying to drag me about it. But not bad for an old dude you know? Especially now that he looks a little more like Mr. Clean.”

“Peter.” The Professor wasn’t even that old, but it was by and large beside the point. “You’re trying to make me kiss you again so that you’ll stop talking aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” He grinned. “But hey, I never thought I’d get this far, I’m going to enjoy this every chance we get.”

The newness hadn’t worn off at all, that much was true. But wouldn’t it eventually? And would he still think so much of you then? You couldn’t know the answer to that.

It was probably best to actually agree with his viewpoint for the time being. To just appreciate the chances given in the here and now. None of you could know what the future had in store for anyone or anything, not anymore.

You were already right in front of him as you ran your fingers along the back of his neck. You held him there briefly, then pulling him in to initiate the first kiss, before he met you eagerly with another.

One of your hands stayed in his hair, the other splayed down onto his chest. After a moment, you realized you could feel his own heartbeat through the thin t-shirt. So very fast, like everything else about him before you felt him grabbing at your hips.

He was trying to get you pulled more into his lap as he shifted his legs to make room. You let him, but there was something slightly funny as you still had to help to not knock into his broken leg when he had trouble moving it in the way he really wanted.

But he could feel your smile against his lips. He pulled back enough to respond, your foreheads touching. “You just wait until that damn thing is off. I’ll be ten times as suave then.”

“I’m not complaining.” You laughed softly. Maybe even a little glad that he did have that handicap to slow him down right now. Though you quieted again when you felt him move down to nip at your neck, before he kissed it a little more roughly.

When you tensed a little, he paused. You could hear the tease in his voice. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave any hickies. Scout’s honor.” He knew you still cared about appearances to some degree, that and the privacy to not show off all of what you’d done in front of the others. “But you ever had one?” He asked anyway.

“No.” You answered without hesitation. You didn’t feel any need to pretend with him.

He pulled back a little again at that though, enough that you could look at each other and you wondered if he was finding this hard to believe.

“But you’ve had boyfriends right?” He asked, before considering a little more. “Or maybe girlfriends? I mean, I’m cool with either just for the record. We get discriminated on enough as it is to bother being worried about what side of the fence anybody is playing on.” He smiled, rubbing his hand down your side. “If I’m going to like someone, I’m going to like them for them. Everything else is just bonus.”

You’d never really thought about it to be honest. If you were attracted to someone, you just were. But it sounded like he was of similar thinking, which was nice. “I haven’t really had anybody.” You answered. “I’ve been at the school since I was pretty young. And you just end up seeing them all as family I guess.”

His eyebrows raised and he hesitated a while, before finally speaking again a little bit carefully. “So...please don’t punch me, but um, does that mean you haven’t...you know?” He didn’t seem like he could say it. Or that maybe he was actually afraid of offending you all of the sudden. Which would be a first.

But just because you were inexperienced, that didn’t mean you were naive. And it was awkward, but not frightening. You weren’t afraid to talk to him this way. “I haven’t had sex, no.” You responded plainly, but did have a little concern on him possibly panicking as you made sure to clarify. “And I’m not a minor. This would have been my senior year and then some I guess if you compare our class levels to normal high school grades.” But Xavier’s school was still a little different. “Or maybe it’d be more like freshman year of college.”

Peter took a breath. “I mean, yeah I figured you were legal. Good to confirm, but um, you realize this means you have no idea if you should have waited for someone better or not?”

He was getting self conscious again. You’d already been through this before. Where he acted as if you were making a mistake just to choose him. You tried to turn this back around. “It doesn’t matter to me who you’ve already been with. And yes, I might be inexperienced, but you’ve got to trust me that I’m capable of choosing who I want now.”

You could still sense him wavering, but he at least didn’t lock up to the point of not answering. He was trying to fall back on a little humor, his go to. “Well it’s not like I’ve been all around either. It was really just one, but you know, a good bit of practice there.” Though as soon as he said it that way, he seemed to regret it, trying to explain further. “I mean, she didn’t give two shits about me in the end. I thought she did. But I didn’t use her, it was more the other way around. At least in my view.”

You quieted, that new spill of information you felt signaling a much deeper story under the surface. And he seemed really nervous as if he hadn’t intended to bring up this subject at all. “It’s okay.” You answered quickly. “Like I said, the past is the past. It doesn’t affect what I feel about you. But if you want to get something else off your chest right now, my time is yours.”

And he did want to talk. You could tell he did. Like this was something he never could speak of normally. He seemed surprised at his own self as the name finally did come out. “Her name was Crystal.” But he still tightened his grip on you even as he kept on. “Back when I was still in high school outside D.C., she’d started there. Her family was always moving, I don’t know why. But I guess because she was new she didn’t know the whole hierarchy shit, where I was on the bottom with the other weirdos always in detention. And she figured out I had powers, she did too. I’d never met anyone my age that did. We started hanging out, and before you know it I’d be speeding to her house and all at night. My Mom never knew. Wanda did, but I think she saw the fuck up coming and decided to let me figure it out for myself.”

You felt no jealousy to the confession. Genuinely you were only listening, knowing these details only gave you a more complete picture of him. Who he was now and why.

“I’d never gotten attention like that before you know? You start thinking it’s real and you get carried away. And I’m not saying she was manipulative or any stupid crap like that. She wasn’t. She just wanted to fool around with somebody, wanted to feel good. But it probably shouldn’t have been with me is what I mean. Not for that long anyway just to cut me off at the knees when she was ready to move on again.”

So she’d just wanted a physical relationship. While Peter had misunderstood it to be more, and had had to suffer for it when the truth finally showed. You could understand how that would be extremely painful. Especially if it was the first real intimacy he’d ever had.

He kept on though, likely something very cathartic in finally getting to let go of all this. “And we had a huge blow up in the end. When she’d started sleeping with someone else. I probably said some stuff I shouldn’t have, I mean she was never mine to be mad about I guess. But she was no pushover. She told me to fuck right off, and I never went back. I quit going to school and they moved away again eventually. So that was the end of that.”

Then that was likely the real reason he never finished school you realized, not just because of boredom with it or any lack of ability on his own part. It was sad, but you didn’t see him as anyone to be pitied. He’d survived that negative experience to still be here with you now.

And you couldn’t take those old scars away, but you could at least make sure you didn’t leave any room for miscommunication now. You could let him know exactly what he had in you, to take or leave as he wished. Because nothing could work here either unless you both were on the same page.

“Well I can tell you that you will never just be a hookup for me. I mean, yes, I might not be as satisfying I guess, not knowing all about this. But, I’m attracted to you. Not your body, not your powers, just you. I want to be together until you decide otherwise.” You smiled, calling back a bit to his words in Egypt. “Together exclusively until I annoy you or you get bored of me.”

He laughed, unable to help himself. “And I still don’t deserve it.” He insisted, but agreed anyway. “Exclusive is good, no other guys or girls. Just us annoying the hell out of each other until the end.” He then nuzzled his head back against your neck, continuing. “I’ll be slightly more behaved too I guess. Now that I know it’ll be your first time, it can’t just be in an aircraft carrier broom closet or some crap after all. I’ll try to think of something a little more romantic in the meantime.”

“Gee thanks.” You smirked, before kissing him lightly again. There was still oh so much trouble to look forward to it sounded like.

He leaned into the kiss, trying to taste you as much as you’d let him. But you thought you could still feel him smiling a little too, before another sound went off in your brains.

“All of you, they’re asking us to clear the flight deck as they have a pair of helicopters trying to come back in from patrol.” The Professor’s voice was a bit impersonal, the way it could be when he was essentially copying the same message to multiple minds one after the other.

“And that would be the bell,” Peter sighed. “Recess over.”

You were a little disappointed too, but there was still tonight after all. “There’s still the bunk later,” You reminded at that, standing up and offering him your hand.

He grabbed it, quickly pulling himself up before leaning in to kiss you one more time. “That a promise?”

“Maybe.” You answered, handing him his crutches.

“Tease.” He countered with a smirk, before you both started walking back towards the others.

It’d be one more night in close quarters, and then on to the long trip home tomorrow.

——————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

#quicksilver x oc #quicksilver x y/n #quicksilver x you #quicksilver x reader #quicksilver #peter maximoff x oc #peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff x y/n #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff #x men #xmen #xmen fanfiction #xmen fic

[asmo-ds]

I hope I'm not sending in too many asks, I have too much ideas and not the skill to write them. But, how about MC is in devildom and their older twin brothers comes to visit? Like MC greets them with the classic run and jump in arms hug and they seem to be really close with occasional 'fight me'. And maybe one of the demon bros are in a relationship with MC and MC's brothers gives them the 'you hurt my sibling we' ll kill you ' talk?

never feel bad about sending in asks babes! i love writing these and the things all of y’all come up with are so creative and I could never come up with some them on my own tbh

Meet MC’s protective brothers

- When he finds out MC has siblings they’re close with he immediately goes to Diavolo to suggest visitation to the Devildom (which who is Diavolo to say no to even more MCs)

- When he sees MC greet their brothers with a run and jump, ultimately knocking them all over into a laughing pile of dorks

- MC introduces Lucifer as their boyfriend, which immediately makes him feel a bit flustered but also proud

- He tries to impress them all night by making fancy meals and keeping his brothers in line as well as coddling MC all night to show they’re being taken care of

- MC realizes they are out of Wine and volunteers to leave Lucifer’s study to go grab more, and they vanish before anyone can protest

- the second they leave the brothers are leaning over towards Lucifer with hard faces

- “If you hurt our sibling trust us you’ll regret it” one of them says as the other nods along

- At first Lucifer is shocked at the balls on these guys but then he simply smirks and turns to his demon form, leaning into them as well before saying,

-“Ok? and if you hurt my lover you’ll regret it” which causes the brothers to smile and laugh before they all calm down and have a casual convo

-MC had overheard the interaction and had to calm their racing heart before entering the room

- When Mammon finds out MC’s brothers are coming he nearly pisses himself

- he also spends the entire visit on the verge of pissing his pants

- when he sees how happy they all are as they fall into a giggling pile of dorks his heart bursts though

- very sweaty™��

- when MC introduces Mammon as their boyfriend he blacks out and doesn’t come back until they’re at the house of lamentation

- decked MC in shiny things before the brothers came so that they’d be happy knowing Mammon spoils them

- As soon as MC goes to the bathroom their brothers gang up on him

- “Listen up Mr. Avatar of Greed, you better treat our sibling right or else we’ll get some holy water in this place”

- A very audible gulp from mammon

- “.... please don’t bring my dad’s piss water into this”

- that gets a laugh out of everyone and MC’s brothers and Mammon end up being best bros

- When MC comes back they all tell them what happened and MC nearly pisses themself laughing (why can’t i stop talking about piss)

- is very sad when they leave but starts planning their next visit

- another sweaty man™️

- Tries to hide in his room the entire visit

- When MC drags him to come pick their brothers up he gets really whiney and flustered

- Nearly screams when MC tackled them bc he knows how fragile his normie is

- When he sees them all laughing though he calms down and stands stiffly letting them greet eachother

- When attention turns towards him he almost runs but MC grabs his arm to stop him

- Being introduced as their boyfriend gave him more confidence

- MC had left Levi’s room to go grab a movie they were going to watch from their own room

- “Listen up fish boy,” oh goodness here we go “don’t even think of taking up all of MC’s time we still need her too”

- as soon as Levi felt their envy he let out a breath

- “I should be jealous of you guys! you’ve had all of MC’s life with them i have only had this year :(“

-*sad fishy noises*

- Henry watches from his fish tank like: 👁👄👁

- When MC comes back and they’re all crying and hugging they’re like wtf happened

- He gets to reading up on proper ways to act around a significant other’s family

- Finds MC’s excitement to see their brothers adorable

- When he sees MC tackle them in a hug he flinches because hes so used to MC having to be careful around everyone in the Devildom

- Gives their brothers firm handshakes and makes eye contact

- At one point when MC is summoned by Lucifer for a quick report on their school work Satan is left alone with the brothers

- “Alright buddy lets get this over with,” one of the older brothers starts. 

- Satan tenses expecting them to be angry at him for dating their human sibling and being the avatar of wrath

- “You seem trust worthy and I am honored to have you as a future brother-in-law” 

- *cue Satan blushing at the idea of marriage*

- “BUT if you ever let your wrath effect MC and bring harm to them we will come down here and make you wish you’d never met them.” 

- You’d think Satan would be mad, but hes actually impressed by their boldness and pleased with the love they hold in their heart for MC

- MC comes back to them all having a political discussion maturely and calmly

- MC has brothers??

- “... are they hot too?” *MC slap*

- Is nervous about accidentally making raunchy comments in front of them and ruining a future with the only person to ever love him for more than whats in his pants or his status

- When MC goes to tackle their brothers in a hug he joins the hug as well

- Their brothers are confused at first but seeing MC happy made them feel more comfortable with Asmo hugging them as well

- Asmo mainly sticks to gossipy humor and avoids any sort of lustful topics

- MC leaves the room to go stop Beel from eating them out of house and home

- “Asmodeus” oh f*ck

- “I definitely like you, you seem like the perfect person for MC, BUT if you ever lay a hand on them without their consent I will pop that pretty little nose of yours straight into your skull”

- At first Asmo is worried about his nose but then when he realizes what they said he chuckles

- “No matter how strong of a desire I may have to touch them I would never dream of doing so without clear consent, darling. You need not worry your pretty little heads about me hurting your MC”

- Their brothers are shocked by his words but ultimately begin to share embarrassing stories from when MC was younger

- Asmo definitely made copies of a few baby photos for his wallet

- Twin brothers ? he sure knows about those

- Whenever MC talks about them he can’t help but smile bc it’s obvious how much family means to them

- Seeing MC knock over their brothers was funny to him because he is so used to MC trying to tackle him and barely managing to make him flinch

- Will be very casual and comfortable easily (at least on the outside)

- on the inside he’s like a little kitty hiding in the corner :(

- Big teddy bear boyo is so nervous but those nerves don’t show until MC leaves the room and the Brothers give each other a nod

- oh gosh are they gonna beat Beel up?!

- “We know you like eating everything but if you eat or hurt our sibling in any way shape or form we will kill you.” Beel stops shaking and sweating

- he laughs and the brothers seem to grow angry

- After all MC had done for him and his family he wouldn’t even have a passing thought of hurting them

- When he tells the brothers that they seem very relieved

- When MC comes back the boys are all smiley and chatting up a storm which makes their heart swell

- Twin brothers like him and Beel? sounds easy enough to deal with

- Gets lots of sleep before they arrive to avoid being exhausted in front of them definitely still is exhausted tho

- MC tackles them in a hug and he smiles sleepily before helping MC and their brothers up

- Stays quiet and lets MC catch up with their brothers

- Beel comes in and asks MC if they can cook some human food for him, leaving Belphie with the Brothers

- “Belphegor, lets make this quick and simple,” Belphie sits up but groans internally

- “We know being tired is your whole shtick or whatever but we need you to never get tired of our sibling, okay? MC deserves the world and if you can’t give them that, we won’t hesitate to come back down here and beat your sleepy ass”

- ,,, wonders if they know about the accident from when he got out the attic

- “Knowing who MC is, I don’t think I could ever get tired of them, and if I did they’d kill me before you even made it down here” Belphie chuckled

- MC came back quickly due to not telling Belphie that they DONT know about the whole murder thing lol but is pleased to see them all in casual conversation definitely teasing MC in some silly way

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #om! swd #obey me headcannon #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me hc #om! headcanons #obey me beelzebub #asmodeous #beelzeebub #obey me lucifer #mammon #leviathan #obey me satan

[shihalyfie]

Yamato, Adventure’s most dramatically emotional cast member

The “edgy cool bishounen rival” has been such a staple of shounen anime for years that the moment you look at Yamato and his position next to Taichi, it’s easy to go “ah, yep, there it is.” But just like how Taichi’s actually very different from the shounen hero stereotype, Yamato, despite what his first impression and character design might suggest, is in fact the complete opposite!

Actually, I’ll start this off with an interesting story from Yamato’s own voice actor, Kazama Yuuto:

Yeah. When my agent asked me which role I wanted to try out, I thought I couldn’t do a pretty boy character like him, so I was really astonished when I was chosen for the role. Afterwards, when I asked Kakudou-san [the director] about it, he said that he’d decided on me the instant I’d come in... I’d heard that Yamato was a cool character, which I thought was a part of him that didn’t agree with me. So there was that factor in the beginning. But I learned that he was actually quite similar to me, and a surprisingly passionate guy.

I don’t generally have a huge tendency to include voice actor comments in analysis about writing, but I do think it says a lot that even his own voice actor walked in expecting the typical “pretty boy rival” character to the extent that he felt he’d have difficulty doing the role at all, only for the actual nature of Yamato’s character to catch him off guard! Because, yeah, that really is the case: Yamato’s first impression really is very deceptive, and his actual personality is, indeed, full of open passion and emotion in nearly every way.

Yamato in Adventure

...No, really, it really does not take long for it to be very clear that Yamato’s immediately not like the stereotype his character archetype would suggest, considering that even as early as Adventure episode 2, he was depicted as very obviously being open about his opinions, even if that made him quick to criticize.

When you talk about “rival” characters, usually, the reason such characters seem cold and standoffish is that there’s a certain degree of pride to them, or, in other words, they want to keep up a facade of being “cool” and rational and thus aren’t quick to show their emotions. But Yamato isn’t like that at all! From the very beginning, he speaks often, is very open and honest about his thoughts, and doesn’t seem to even really care what others think at all.

The Adventure novels do, in fact, make clear that he was more closed-in prior to arriving in the Digital World, and these bursts of emotion were actually unusual behavior for him at the time -- but it’s not because he’s prideful or anything! Firstly, it wasn’t necessarily that he deliberately cut himself off from others -- rather, he was still willing to engage in some degree of friendly interaction:

It wasn’t because he was lonely. In fact, many of his classmates would greet him with a friendly “Yo!” or “Hi~!” when they came across him and, naturally, Yamato would respond back with a smile.

And, in fact, said novel indicates that there’s a lot going on deeper than him merely suppressing his emotions for the sake of it:

The people around Yamato may have thought that he was a cold, aloof person, but that was only because he didn’t show what he thought to other people. When had he become like that? He hadn’t been like that when he was younger. But after his parents decided to divorce and his mom took Takeru by the hand and left home… Don’t go! Please don’t go! Don’t leave me! The truth was, he had wanted to plead with her and cry — but he couldn’t. Part of it had to do with his father standing by his side. Maybe his mother had secretly wished for Yamato to say that to her. But at that moment, Yamato had thought that he would never show weakness in front of his mom, even if he died from it. It was his own decision to follow his dad. Ever since coming to the Digital World, even Yamato was surprised by how much emotion he expressed. All of the emotion that he’d held back while at home, at school, had come bursting out without pause.

It’s also important to understand the reasons why he blows up so easily at Taichi in Adventure episodes 3 and 6 and whatnot -- he does it because he’s constantly looking out for the others and worried about their welfare. Pretty much all of the arguments he has with Taichi for the majority of the series involve him objecting to his perception of Taichi as insensitive, because Taichi has a tendency to tease others or bid for everyone to keep pushing forward into dangerous situations or when they’re tired. So, really, Yamato gets angered and emotional and picks his fights with Taichi because he cares too much, not because he’s deliberately trying to cultivate an image of being detached. Once they were outside the range of his family and their classmates and stranded in another world, Yamato’s bleeding heart instantly won out, and he started advocating for the welfare of everyone else.

This is why Yamato’s the one who gets the Crest of Friendship, because even though he starts off by putting up a defensive wall between himself and the others and seems very difficult to deal with, even when he gets angry and upset, he’s constantly upset on other people’s behalf. Even from the very beginning of the series, he’s actually one of the most caring people in the cast!

Really, the entire first few introductory episodes with Yamato can be pretty succinctly described as Yamato coping really badly with all those years of emotional suppression and letting it out in some pretty severe outbursts, especially when it comes to Takeru, whom he’d never been able to properly take care of as an older brother due to their parents’ divorce. (And while he’s definitely a little better at managing it, Takeru himself is actually also doing a pretty bad job with that whole emotional suppression and lack of catharsis thing.) Standoffish and cold? Nah -- not when Yamato has the single highest count of openly breaking down and crying out of the whole cast in Adventure.

And, for all it’s worth, remember that stereotypical “cold rival” characters in this kind of shounen series would normally be very ashamed at others seeing them so emotional, but Yamato...doesn’t really seem to care about the others seeing him do some really embarrassingly reckless stuff during his episodes of exploding over Takeru’s welfare. Once it’s past him, he doesn’t really dwell on it and moves on. Again: Yamato isn’t the kind of person who actually cares that much about what other people think of him.

Adventure episode 18 is an often-overlooked episode when it comes to Yamato, but it’s significant because it makes it clear that he doesn’t really have a problem being conversational and friendly with others (especially since, remember, any emotional suppression had more to do with the trauma and sensitive feelings surrounding his parents’ divorce and a desire to not show weakness) -- he starts a very lighthearted, friendly chat with Koushirou over why they’re looking for their Crests, and even admits that the reason he wants his own Crest is that he’s self-conscious about the idea of everyone else changing and improving as people while he gets left behind. That’s a really personal thing to admit, and arguably something very sensitive! It’s something you wouldn’t even blame him for potentially being self-conscious about! But he’s perfectly humble in admitting that this is something he wants to improve in, and carries on this entire conversation in a light-hearted, cheerful manner.

This episode takes place during a time where everything seems to be “safe” (they’re within Piccolomon’s barrier and finally have a proper place to sleep), and are on the verge of finding their own Crests in a situation that does not ostensibly involve running for their lives, so this is when you get to see Yamato in a relaxed situation. And, really, he’s very friendly and open, with no restraint about it. He really isn’t the kind of person to be condescending or cold by nature!

It’s even more incorrect to pin Yamato as someone who tries to act more on rationality (again, like the “cold rival” stereotype would suggest) because, in fact, he’s the kind of person who gets completely carried away by his own caring for others to the extent of irrationality. For instance, in Adventure episode 23 when his conflicting loyalties to Takeru versus wanting to help Jou in his situation get all mixed up, and he tries to buy into PicoDevimon's trick to turn Jou against him as a solution to taking sides before Jou clearly indicates this is the case, and Yamato doesn't hesitate to feel really bad about it. Openly so. Condescension? Nah.

No, really, I could just keep taking screenshots from Adventure all day if you want evidence of “Yamato is openly and passionately emotional to explosive degrees because he cares too much about others, and makes no real pretense of hiding it.” If you’re still not convinced, I don’t know what to tell you.

When Yamato infamously succumbs to Jureimon’s bait in Adventure episode 44 and ends up picking a fight with Taichi -- possibly his most self-centered action in the entire series -- it’s interesting to see that Jureimon does use the word “rival”, the same word used in anime trope lingo to describe “the person you’re constantly fighting with and competing with in order to improve yourself”. The reason why this is fascinating is that Adventure is making a point here that this kind of “stereotypical anime rival” relationship would be extremely unhealthy for these characters.

No, really: at least as far as Yamato’s concerned, and what defines the kind of “friendship” these particular kids need, what these kids need is mutual emotional support, not engineered conflict that can be passed off as “they fight but it’s a sign of how much they know each other!” Remembering that Adventure is, in many ways, a series that prioritizes wanting to focus on portraying the intimate nature of human behavior, it’s not surprising that it goes out of its way to make clear that centering your relationship with a friend around needing to “outdo” them is a really bad thing. (Observe how 02′s Daisuke and Ken also don’t fit the “rivals” archetype at all and are merely a straightforward relationship of best friends in little to no conflict, despite occupying the stereotypical position.)

But Jureimon successfully digs into all of Yamato’s insecurities about his perceived lack of self-improvement and his tendency to compare himself to the polar-opposite Taichi in terms of Taichi’s charisma and way of (ostensibly) playing better to Takeru’s dislike of being coddled. And so, the engineered conflict happens, and, of course, it traumatizes everyone around them. When Yamato finally manages to get over himself after some timely intervention from “the one who seeks stability” (Homeostasis) in Adventure episode 45, everyone in the group is miserable from the ordeal.

Adventure episode 51 basically lays down the two major issues Yamato had been facing up until that point, and ties it into a neat bow: the reason Yamato had become so obsessed with self-improvement was because he wanted to prove he was "independent" and "not weak", but in the end, he still sees himself as an inferior person compared to everyone else -- culminating in him eventually seeing Taichi as a better person than him. Gabumon reaches out to Yamato by clarifying Yamato’s right to not compete, but be unique; it’s not about competing or being a “better” or “worse” version of others, it’s finding his important niche in the group or in the world with the things only he’s good at. Yamato says it in explicit words in Two-and-a-Half Year Break:

Dad doesn’t remember. On the day when we had to decide whether Takeru or I would go with him… Neither Dad or Mom could decide, so I did. I thought, this way, Takeru would be able to stay with Mom. I chose for myself. And after that, I always chose for myself. Or that’s what I’d planned to. Even though I was called a Chosen Child, it was me who was going to choose what to do. No way was I going to be used for other people’s convenience. Maybe that’s why I went so far to keep myself from making friends. But in the end, I acknowledged that what I was doing was unreasonable. After all, I’m not living in this world by myself. If I hadn’t met Gabumon, I never would have realized that. The person I am right now, is not alone.

As long as Yamato only ever sees himself as a replaceable piece meant to fill in the same niches as everyone else, he’ll continue to be horribly critical of himself for not being a perfect person and ultimately being “useless” or “not necessary”. But it’s not about being perfect or a better or worse replacement, it’s about embracing himself and what he can do in his own way, and, indeed, at the end of the episode, Yamato’s arrival on the scene makes it clear that the group ultimately needs both of them, not just one.

It’s also interesting in that, whereas most of the kids (especially in the Adventure finale) are very open about their own feelings to their own partners, Yamato and Gabumon are capable of “communicating” in some sense just by Yamato playing the harmonica. But it’s perhaps because Yamato is normally so open and passionate about his own feelings that such a tacit method is something they can do -- they’ve already bared themselves to each other so many times already, that in the end, all they need to do is just enjoy the abstract things together.

Yamato in 02 and after

So by the time we get to 02, any trace of coldness or detachment from Yamato has completely vanished.

I cannot emphasize this enough: completely vanished. Even in the middle of being a heartthrob for the teenagers in school thanks to his good looks and work with his band, he’s open and lacking in condescension whatsoever, and it’s basically like seeing the openly friendly Yamato from Adventure episode 18 for a whole series. Actually, it already says a lot that he’s in a band, considering it feels like shifting his music activities to a full-on band is there to make a deliberate statement that Yamato is now much better at socializing and working in organized groups now -- it’s a far cry from having to work solo or independently, and it’s significant that “the person who wanted to be able to do everything by himself” is now interested in doing something a bit more cooperative. (And to lend further to the idea he’s sentimental and constantly thinks of others, his band, the TEEN-AGE WOLVES, is all but confirmed to be named in indirect tribute to Gabumon.)

He’s open, conversational, makes a lot of silly faces throughout the series, and basically the only thing he has left that remotely resembles the “pretty boy rival” stereotype is that he’s deep in the aesthetic. But even then, you get the impression that he just does that because he genuinely likes it, not because he’s trying to be “cooler than you” or anything. And it’s easy to see why: Yamato, quite simply, got over himself. He stopped restraining himself all the time in his attempts to become a perfect person, and simply let himself loose to express himself how he wanted, and ultimately became a perfectly sociable and friendly person who’s now even popular at school!

Yamato’s punch on Taichi in 02 episode 10 is often taken as evidence that Taichi and Yamato embody the “rivals who constantly get in fights but are somehow still friends” trope, but this tends to avoid the actual context of the rest of the scene -- in fact, Daisuke himself rightfully points out that if Yamato had done this out of any actual anger or condescension, this would have been a really cruel thing to do to Taichi when he’s already going through so much. But Yamato’s not doing this out of resentment or condescension, he’s doing this for Taichi’s own sake to help him get out of his stupor, and the important part here is that he immediately holds out a hand to him afterwards. Or, in other words, this isn’t something they’re doing out of conflict, but out of communication, and it’s now at the point where Taichi understands Yamato’s intent, and Yamato knows that what he wanted to do would be conveyed to Taichi, without words.

That is why Taichi and Yamato are finally so close now: they understand each other’s feelings. They’re not competing with each other. They’re not resenting each other. They’re sympathetic and forgiving of each other, and they communicate, verbally or otherwise.

It’s followed by a scene in 02 episode 11 that’s also often construed as Taichi and Yamato advocating fighting as part of a healthy friendship, but, again, this omits context: they talk about their fighting in past tense! They’re referring as fighting having been part of the things they had to do to understand each other now, when they clearly aren’t in that kind of conflict anymore. The idea they’re espousing is that Daisuke and Takeru need to let out their feelings and have some catharsis if they want to truly understand each other (which is, indeed, how Taichi and Yamato eventually settled their differences) and hopefully get to a position of mutual understanding, instead of the others forcing them to have peace for the sake of peace and not letting their feelings get out on the table. (And, ultimately, Daisuke spends the rest of the episode thinking about Takeru’s position, and none of the 02 kids ever end up in this bad of a brawl for the rest of the series, yet manage to build a friendship in spite of that -- so, yes, the important part was that they had their feelings out in the open and got catharsis, not fighting in itself.)

Yamato also has an interesting role in the 02 drama CDs, including one entirely devoted to him (Letter). Said drama CD has quite a few things to note:

Gabumon says that Yamato being rather silent and not speaking up about what he’s thinking is unusual behavior for him.

As much as Yamato’s managed to do a better job opening up in general, he’s still suffering from extreme self-worth issues, considering himself as worthless if he’s not able to do anything for a girl in the hospital, even though it’s of course completely reasonable he can’t do much. Despite that, he continues to emotionally fixate on her welfare and basically self-flagellate and do a lot of pretty emotionally occupied things in the process.

Speaking of getting emotionally occupied, as much as he ends up snapping a bit at the people on the beach who keep annoying the hell out of him, he eventually feels so bad for the shaved ice seller that he forces himself to eat it just for him. (Even though it’s freezing.)

Yamato’s a really poetic person. Almost sappily so.

On top of that, Armor Evolution to the Unknown gives us an ever-so-slight glimpse of his dating life with Sora -- which, while he hadn’t been super-flagrant about, he also hadn’t been hiding either (he’s clearly willing to engage in a bit of PDA as per 02 episode 43), and, if the admittedly-kind-of-crack drama CD is to believed, he’s actually very emotionally passionate about his relationship to her, and very dedicated! Beyond just the (very sudden) passionate declaration of love to her in the middle of tap dancing, when Sora is found to have been worrying about him being cold lately, he immediately goes out of his way to try and make things right and prove his love...

Yamato’s initial appearance in Kizuna pretty much defines in a nutshell what his and Taichi’s relationship eventually turned out to be: they’re willing to banter because they’re comfortable with each other, but when it all comes down to it, they appreciate and trust each other deeply. Again, the point is that Yamato and Taichi are emotionally there for each other, considering that (even if he ribs Taichi a bit for it) Yamato’s willing to come all the way down to meet Taichi for late-night beer and talk to him through his emotional troubles.

And, yes, Yamato’s still there to be a concerned minder for Taichi and to make sure he doesn’t get too inconsiderate of what he’s doing -- but there’s no conflict over it, just the two of them balancing their necessary roles as part of the group and keeping each other in check. Again, as was made clear back in Adventure, it’s not about one person being more necessary than the other, it’s them both working together to fulfill their own roles.

As one of the central characters in the movie, Yamato’s also having an existential crisis of adulthood, and in his case, it’s that he’s playing everything too much by ear but isn’t really sure what he wants to commit to. He’s still enjoying music as a hobby, but it’s apparent he doesn’t want to commit to it as a career (which is, well, quite the common thing for those who have hobbies in middle school) -- and moreover, the novel indicates that it’s not bringing him happiness the way it used to. (The movie goes out of its way to depict Yamato feeling isolated with both a harmonica and a band, referencing that neither Adventure nor 02′s ways are doing it for him anymore.)

Beyond the motorcycle we see Yamato driving a few times in the movie, the official website profile makes it clear that this is one of his major new interests, and it’s presumably why he’s also attending an engineering school -- he can’t decide on a long-term goal, so he’ll at least experiment with the thing he likes. Yamato’s always been someone who thinks with emotions and feelings, so it fits him.

We also learn that he’s surprisingly studious, and is picking up some things that run contrary to his image (the glasses!), including the fact he seems to like school enough that he wants to do more school while he figures out what he wants to do. This is something that happens in real life for a certain kind of person in a career-based existential crisis -- as many people as there are who play very badly with educational structures, there are also people who rely very heavily on the structure of college or grad school basically handing you tasks to do on a plate, and find the job market to be scarier than staying within that bubble. It’s not too unreasonable to imagine that Yamato, who in certain ways has never really been the kind of person to assertively have an idea of “this is what I want to do!” and generally works by immediate feelings instead of long-term goals, would end up becoming that kind of person. As he says, it’s really just him trying to postpone the inevitable decision and get a grace period.

Since “shutting out one’s own partner (and therefore one’s own inner self)” is key to the cause of partner dissolution, Yamato’s way of it isn’t as direct as Taichi or Sora (who end up actively shutting out their partners in a bid to become an adult), but is most certainly there -- especially when he’s the one who drops a mocking line about the idea of bringing Gabumon to his school. (It’s not about whether it’s actually doable or not; it’s the fact that he laughs and scoffs at how stupid this is.) The fact he treats friends drifting apart as an “inevitable” thing, and eventually is shown very obviously to be keeping Gabumon out of the phone conversations (in stark contrast to the 02 quartet going out of their way to keep them involved on the other end) ultimately boils down to: neglect. Yamato’s coasting by on everything he likes, but it also means he’s just letting everything happen, instead of consciously pursuing things and passionately following things with gusto, the way he used to.

But we do see Yamato’s single-minded and passionate side come out again -- while Taichi shuts down and ruminates on what to do about his impending loss of Agumon, Yamato’s the one who desperately runs around trying to figure something out, recruiting the 02 quartet into it, losing sleep over it, and eventually having a passionate confrontation with Taichi as the climax approaches. (Note that this, again, is not a real conflict in nearly the same way the two of them would be spitting insults at each other all the way back in Adventure; it’s just the two baring their own feelings, and Yamato quickly accepts Taichi’s answer very easily because he, too, feels the same. Again: they’ve become very good at communicating.)

Yamato does eventually let Gabumon back into his periphery instead of neglecting him so much, and their final scene together in the movie involves them resuming their old method of tacit communication that they’d once shared together, with Yamato playing the harmonica. It’s a sign of Yamato finally embracing those things in the past that used to make him happy rather than cultivating an uncomfortable relationship with it just because he’d kicked it out of his career prospects, and ultimately coming to terms with what he likes and what makes him happy.

And speaking of career prospects...

The question of “why did Yamato become an astronaut?” is one that’s infamously weirded out people all over the globe because of how much it clashes with his image, and how much of a kind of “out-there” thing it is that had virtually no precedent whatsoever in Yamato’s prior hobbies. (Although, if you really think about it, space travel isn’t that huge of a hurdle as it sounds for a world like this where Digital Gates exist to bend space-time; you just send a probe with a Digital Gate link up there...) The original meta reason was, simply, that it was a holdover from one of the original ideas for the third Adventure series, in which they would be investigating forces that were obstructing evolution from space. (The original logical progression was that Adventure would have a threat from the Digital World, 02 a threat from the real world, so the theoretical third series would be space...) When you think about which of the original Tokyo Chosen Children would be the most likely to actively pursue this route, it actually is likely to be Yamato, given that Taichi is more of a person who’s an overall leader and coordinator, whereas Yamato, who’s much more up-front aggressive and openly passionate, would be more likely to want to tackle the situation with his own hands.

Kizuna -- or, more specifically, its novel -- offers another (and not mutually exclusive!) explanation:

While studying at graduate school, Yamato came up with a dream he had for his future. He wanted to study cosmology, and become an astronaut. The way there would not be easy. There was a whole mountain of things he’d have to do to get there. But Yamato had a certain ambition in mind. Someday, he was going to go to space with Gabumon. Whenever he thought of that future, Yamato was willing to do anything to get there.

Remembering that Yamato was at an engineering school (presumably originally from the motorcycles connection), it seems that he eventually “ran into” the career option by chance and happenstance, and thought about it and decided he wanted to follow it for the sake of going with Gabumon. It’s a very “romantic” and sappy kind of “out-there” dream, and, actually, that’s the point -- Yamato is a ridiculous romanticist, the kind of person who waxed about barbecue back in Adventure episode 6, and compared his relationship with Takeru to Hikoboshi and Orihime back in 02 episode 17, and spouted a bunch of poetic words at the sea during Letter. And, remember, he’s always been openly shameless and passionate about everything he’s felt and liked, and has never cared what other people would think.

And in the context of Kizuna, where Yamato was slowly losing touch with himself and his passions and eventually lost Gabumon as a result, it’s a very important sign that everything’s on its way back to healing, and that he’ll be able to achieve that future where they meet again.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #ishida yamato #yamato ishida #shihameta #kizuna spoilers

[enhyupn]

the perfect date! four

masterlist | previous | next

a series in which enhypen’s 02s competitive side shines through when trying to get your attention. the only solution to end this tiring rivalry? three dates with each of them in the course of three weeks.

paring: 02s x gn!reader

word count: 2.8k

genre: fluff, angst, high school!au, someone’s gonna end up heartbroken

warnings: swearing, violence is mentioned, jealousy, arguments + there might be grammatical and spelling errors in this 😞

ask to be on taglist, updates are irregular

a/n i should really make a masterlist BUT!!! okay i’ll edit this properly soon my eyes aren’t working rn since i’m on the road also it’s taking a while to get to the actual date 😩 Bit so wait for that everyone

taglist: @dchannie17 @simluvbot @jaeyuni @neocrush @penghoons @min-arya @sunooflowerss @badroseee @cha-raena @ghjasksdk @strawr @jaypen @nanachuu @nikisboxysmile @softkons @kisshoons-main @enha-woodzies

you had felt as if your feet were about to fall off by the time you had reached the gate of your well loved home. with heavy breaths you could see the outline of a figure standing almost a meter away from you. a scowl on your face when you saw the almost semi-permanent smirk placed on jay’s face as he stood proudly in front of your home. you let an exasperated sigh out as you lean against the cold metal gate, not able to find the energy to open it up. the lack of daylight surrounding you only really added to your draining energy. you roll your eyes before fixing your school blazer into it’s proper appearance and adjusting your school bag to fit comfortably on your shoulder. you look up once again, your eyes meeting the blonde dyed boy’s eyes. a smile placed in his eyes, something that showed you that had been waiting for you.

your mind couldn’t help but remind you that this was one of the few moments where you had really taken the time to look at jay’s face. your time in middle school didn’t really give you any opportunities due to the fact you were so shy and bashful in front of the boy that you couldn’t even properly look at him. you just so barely properly spoke to him and exchanged messages to even form some sort of connection. you never really questioned until then why he had a crush on you in middle school, a time in your life where you had thought you were going to be alone forever. as much as you wanted to question him you knew you’d accidentally expose your own past crush, something you desperately didn’t want to explain.

“are you gonna greet me or are you just gonna keep staring at my face?” he teased, letting out a hearty laugh. you shook your head, not approving of his statement. you unlock your gate as you send him another glare. the wind added to the already dramatic yet heart warming scene, loose cherry blossom petals from a nearby tree flying around you almost romantically.

“i was not” you murmured as you had gotten closer to him, the sound of the grass lightly flattening as you walked over it with care. you might of even stepped on a bug in the process, none of the surrounding light exposing itself onto the lawn meaning your vision was very little. “as if i’d willingly do that”. the boy only laughed in response as you leaned against the wall, very eerily close to him. you eyes dart to the small space in between the two of you, unexplainable heat rushing to your cheeks. the boy sends you a look with his eyebrow raised, unsure what the problem was. “anyways, what was that call even for?” you manage to shift the attention back into your words.

“hmmmm” he pretended to think, the joke only causing you to snort quietly to yourself. his head suddenly twists towards you, the previous view of your sad looking garden not doing him any justice in your conversation. from your point of view, your eyes only widened in surprise when you had realised just how close your faces were together. his nose was almost touching yours and, if you wanted to, you could of even touched foreheads together. “i don’t know”.

“what do you mean i don’t know?” you move your face back, jay not noticing the small movement from your sudden bashfulness. “who calls saying i’m at your house, come home quickly before i break in without a reason?” you continue, hands flying around you as you try and theatrically explain his excuse.

“maybe i do?” jay laughed in between his words. you roll your eyes at his playfulness, a small smile forming on your lips when you looked down at your feet. as much as you wanted an explanation, hearing jay finally for the first time in years joke around with you simply just felt better.

“veeerry funny jay” you spoke breathily, leaning further against the wall of your home. you knew your parents were waiting for your arrival, probably sitting in their room asking themselves when you’ll eat your dinner. however, you weren’t entirely really sure if they knew about jay’s sudden visit outside your door. with a quick sigh out you turn to him once again, the boy only mirroring your action with a grin spread across his face. “how did you know where i live? or remembered my number?”.

“jake, for both of your answers” you seem raise an eyebrow at the mention of your best friend’s name, suspicious on what had happened between the two of them.

“you two are buddy-buddy now?” you tease, your fingers wiggling in front of his face playfully as you let a squeaky laugh out. jay lightly swatted your hands away, a low chuckle escaping him mouth as he turned away from you to look at the bland scenery in front of him.

“not exactly, we just both relate to things i guess” he replied quietly, the sound of crickets chirping and wind slightly breezing through following the sound of his voice. your lips morph into a small smile when you had listened to his words.

“that’s nice to hear” you sigh out blissfully, your head nodded in agreement while turning to the front of you too to look at the same scenery his eyes were trained on. “no more fighting then, i suppose?”.

“can’t promise that one” jay awkwardly let out, his head replaying the memory of earlier that evening. he bit his lip in guilt, feeling yet again apologetic about the whole situation. “hey i’m sorry—”

“—it’s fine” you interrupt him abruptly. you had already predicted what he was about to say, knowing jay’s personality you knew he would feel incredibly guilty about it. you knew it wasn’t either of their faults, from every way you’ve looked at the situation you understood that the two of weren’t the best with handling any sort of feelings they felt. “you two were just emotional, plus i wasn’t giving you enough attention today too”.

“give me attention?” he laughed, a growing blush scattering across his face. his brain almost blew up at your slightly affectionate comment. “why would you say it like that?”.

“oh shut up” you nudge him lightly, biting your lip in slight embarrassment when you had realised what you had said. “you know what i mean! i haven’t seen you in forever and of course you would wanna catch up with me”. you glance at him while your feet tapped slightly, “right?”.

“how cocky of you to think i missed you” jay jokingly rolled his eyes. you could tell from his playful tone that he was just teasing you, although it didn’t stop you from lightly elbowing him in the side.

it felt nice, talking so freely with the boy you’ve probably spent a good chunk of your life thinking about and as well as even missing. the brain of middle school you would of never even thought this would of happened, with you thinking then that the two of you were on two completely different levels (with jay being on the significantly higher level, even during those middle school years). you wish you could of told your younger self that those times spent silently admiring your school crush wasn’t a one sided thing as much as you had thought.

“don’t go thinking i missed you either too then!” you pout. the action setting jay’s brain into haywire, you had such an affect on him but you were the only one who couldn’t realise it.

he abruptly swivels his head forward, not wanting you to catch his embarrassing slip up. your own action caused him to clear his head completely blank, not having any snarky comebacks for your reply.

“remember the jeju day trip in middle school?” jay changed the subject, it caused you to raise an eyebrow before taking a glimpse at him.

you didn’t really understand why he had brought it up, it wasn’t anything significant. you can vaguely even remember the day, the only real memory you had of that day was your aunt dressing you up for it. she had wanted you to look your best, you can’t really thank her for anything since that whole night was truly just unmemorable.

“no” you paused to rack your brain in hopes to find anything to add to his question. “why? was there something worth remembering?”, yet another pout formed on your face from his puzzling question.

“the plane ride there?” he mentioned, trying to jog your memory in hopes to find what he was trying to say. “do you seriously not remember?” he laughs unexpectedly, his voice only sending your heart beating rapidly.

“n-no” a stutter had caught up to your words. you had no idea why he was still giving you this affect. i mean you’ve gotten over him over the course of his absence, right?

“well, remember earlier today, what i told you in front of sunghoon and jake” he rambles on, completely ignoring your embarrassed state. you glance back at him, noticing he was awkwardly playing with his fingers with tinted red ears. you smile to yourself, the boy setting your cheeks on fire with small actions that you didn’t think would even affect you.

“yeah, what about it?”

“i said i had a crush on you” he continued, his words only sending butterflies to your stomach as you tried to put on a calm smile. you only nodded silently, unable to find the correct answer to reply to him with. “on the plan ride to jeju, we sat beside each other” you watched from his side his hands ran through his hair, “you were so talkative and just so bright— happy? something like that. i remember only wanting to talk to you that whole day after we got off the plane, my friends kept teasing me about it and wouldn’t stop asking why i kept glancing at you throughout our whole trip”.

“you’ve liked me since then?” you let out; quietly questioning his comment, your hands cupping your mouth in realisation at your slight mixup of words. “i mean— you started liking me then? up until whenever you’ve stopped liking me? you get what i’m trying to say—”.

“who said i stopped liking you?”

if words could kill, his would of definitely made you drop stone cold onto the ground. you open your mouth, and without surprise nothing came out due to your speechless state of mind. did he really just— was he being serious? that’s all you could think as you blankly stared at his face, eyes slightly widening as a small smirk laced through his lips. you would of comically checked your pulse in front of him as a way to ease this tension but you were too star struck to even move an inch. what was going on?

“h-huh?” only a noise came out of your mouth, desperately yelling at yourself to just even let out a single word. jay only seemed to find humour in this situation, chuckling at your frozen state as he straightened his back. with a step forward he looked back at you, his face being illuminated by the cheap porch light in front of your door. you could only gulp at his figure, somehow looking more like a pictorial pose than a casual pose regular people would normally do.

“you heard me” with his head whipping back to the front of him. he placed both of this hands behind his head, an audible yawn coming out of his mouth to express his drowsiness. “it’s getting late isn’t it?” he had professed quite randomly, a completely different choice of topic than your original one.

“well, yeah...” you replied, your words sounding confused. if someone had asked you what the two of you had been talking about that whole evening, you wouldn’t of been able to tell them anything.

“i should get going then” he stretched his arms gently, an action now raising your eyebrow in suspicion. with your arms crossed you watched as he took a step further away from you, his figure almost disappearing in the darkness of your garden.

“you’re just not gonna explain your last sentence?” you nervously informed the boy of his previous words. the boy only continued his walk down the small pathway in front of the two of you, a laugh being heard even with the distance.

“what do you mean explain?” he taunted, finally reaching the cold metal gate you had earlier made in contact with. the creak of the gate caused you to flinch in shock, you watched as he swiftly made his way past your gate, his feet stopping as he closed it again. staring back at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “the explanation’s right there”.

“but—”

“see you tomorrow y/n” he put a stop to your attempt, a small smile dancing happily upon his face as he took off on his journey home. “sweet dreams!” you could faintly hear him as he made his way deeper down your street.

“what— what was that about...” you spoke hesitantly. your words coming out quietly unable to really understand what had happened, something that was happening far too often that day. you understood what he said definitely, but at the same time what did he say? he said the explanation was there but as much as you wanted your brain to believe his words, you couldn’t allow yourself.

you stood there for a good few minutes, your brain trying to come up with reasonable answers; ones that weren’t pointing towards the conclusion that jay park could possibly like you. as in like—like romantically! there was no way you were going to let yourself believe in something as unbelievable as that. letting out a loud sigh you finally make up your mind to go inside your house, not having the energy to even try and make up an excuse to your parents on why you were arriving home so late.

with your hand on the door handle you felt a surprising quick vibration coming from your right pocket. you sweat instantly on the spot, your brain instantly scattering the word jay in the blank spaces in your mind. cautiously, you dipped your hand into your pocket, bracing yourself for a very awkward message from the blond boy.

park sunghoon (3-A) added you to “booth @ festival”

you sighed happily at the notification, until you had realised the previously mentioned boy was also in this group chat. your eyes drifted at sunghoon’s contact name, the formality of it almost begging you to change it into something more casual.

sunghoon: Meeting tomorrow at 7:30AM sharp, please be there on time.

jakey: sure! no promises though

jakey: the bus run’s on it’s own time sometimes

sunghoon: I can excuse that.

jay: why do you type so stiff

you couldn’t help but agree at jay’s off topic tease, sunghoon’s way of typing seemed very formal for a group chat with your classmates. a quiet giggle escaped your mouth as you walked into your house, “i’m home!” you informed your family as you raised your voice one step into your home.

sunghoon: What do you mean?

jay: ok nvm

y/n: i’ll be there!! see you three tmr 🤍

with your hand forcefully taking your shoes off, you lazily typed your reply with one hand with little to no attention on your screen. you felt your heart race rapidly when you realised, out of habit, you send a white heart to the group of boys. cursing to yourself you threw your shoes onto your shoe rack, the position of them awkwardly almost falling off the shelf they were on. you swiftly typed out a reply, trying to explain your small accident without further embarrassing yourself.

y/n: i didn’t mean the heart .

jay: sureee you didn’t

y/n: shut up

jakey: this is like the third time you’ve done that

y/n: STOP IT PLEASE FOR MY OWN SAKE

sunghoon: I think we should stop embarrassing Y/N.

y/n: thank you sunghoon

y/n: ummmm anyways goodnight!

you groaned loudly, knowing it was more than likely that jake and jay would tease you about it the following morning. you felt yourself dramatically falling on your bed, your face being engulfed by your bed sheets as you ran your hands through your head in frustration. the only thing stopping you from screaming your embarrassment out was the fact someone in the room beside you scolded you for making noise so late in the night.

“sorry!” you replied back, your face warm from your burst of energy. “can’t wait for tomorrow” you sarcastically whispered to yourself, bringing yourself to sit properly at the edge of your bed.

in the whole course of a day, nothing had gone to plan. first jay showing up? jake confessing to you? sunghoon (kind of) walking you home? all of this just on day one, you couldn’t even imagine what day two was going to be like.

“cannot wait!”

#prism.nw #enhypenwriters #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #enhypen fanfiction

[potteresque-ire]

Hi :) Are you following the zheng shuang scandal? Would you say that her career is pretty much over now? The rate the news has been unfolding is so crazy to me. It’s only been 3-4 days. Was wondering if the gov would handle her matters personally.

Hello Anon! Yes, I’ve followed the news about the actress, primarily because it offers insight on how the current administration deals with stars exhibiting what it deems as “immoral” behaviour. As of today (2021/01/26), it’s difficult to imagine her career will survive at all. While she isn’t the first to be categorised as a “bad-history entertainer” (劣迹藝人), she’s the first to be explicitly banned by the National Radio and Television Administration (NRTA; 國家廣播電視總局), the department that controls—and censors—content of all radio, television, satellite, and Internet broadcasts in the country. Before, the NRTA didn’t publicise the names of the entertainers the government no longer wishes to see, which allows a possibility for reversal in a few year’s time if the “bad-history” wasn’t too damaging, and production companies are willing to take a risk and produce shows with the entertainers that may be difficult to pass the censorship board. But with such a high profile announcement, the government’s stance is unlikely to turn around in a foreseeable future.

Hmm. Let’s backpedal a little to get everyone on track. Before, I’ve shared some info re: the censoring of books, of audiovisual media. What if the government decides to “cancel” an entertainer instead? How does it do it? What are the standards?

The actress’s downfall is a (sad) example.

I shall skip names, the gossipy elements. Whether she made mistakes or not, no one deserves having their private matters exposed and sensationalised like this; no one should have to undergo such a humiliating, public trial. Essentially, the heart of the story goes as follows: the actress, a romantic-lead type who has been popular for several years, secretly got married. On 2021/01/18, her estranged husband claimed on Weibo that the couple had two children using US-based surrogate mothers, and the actress had abandoned the children in the US under his care. Meanwhile, his friend provided an audio from approximately the 7th month of the surrogate pregnancies, at which time the marriage was already falling apart. In the audio, the actress expressed dismay that abortion was no longer possible; her family talked about abandoning the newborns at the hospital or giving them up for adoption.

The next day (2021/01/19), the actress responded. She didn’t deny the existence of her surrogate children and claimed that she had been extorted. More importantly, she said the following: 

“身為藝人我深知我國疫情的防控與重視。** 在中國國土之上我沒有違背國家的指示，在境外我也更是尊重一切的法律法規。”

“Being an artist, I deeply understand the attention my country (China) has placed on controlling the epidemic. On China’s soil, I didn’t do anything that violates the directives by the government. Outside the country, I’ve been even more respectful of all laws and regulations.”

This apparently hit a nerve of the administration. On the same day (2021/01/19), the Communist Party’s Central Political and Legal Affairs Commission (CPLAC; 中央政法委) — one of the most powerful commissions that oversees the entire legal enforcement system of the government —  published an opinion piece , in which it said:

但[女星姓名]的回应，却通篇强调自己没有违法，丝毫没有任何悔过、道歉的意思。…

But the response of (name of the actress) insists that she didn’t violate any laws, doesn’t show a hint of remorse, regret…

要知道，在我国代孕行为是被明确禁止的。… 作为中国公民，因为代孕在中国被禁止，就钻法律空子就跑去美国，这绝不是遵纪守法。…

It should be known, that in our country, surrogacy is explicitly prohibited … as a PRC (People’s Republic of China) citizen, to use a legislative loophole and go to the US due to the ban of surrogacy in China is absolutely not obeying the law…

要知道，没有营养的炒作带不来长久流量。公众人物的魅力，来自其高尚的职业操守、良好的社会形象、文质兼美的优秀作品，而不是疯疯癫癫、任性胡闹、缺爱卖惨的“人设”。作为公众人物，几度疯狂游走在法律边缘，把这样错乱的世界观、价值观、人生观，置于众目睽睽之下，贻害世风，这绝不是无辜！

It should be known, that hype devoid of significance will not bring in traffic (click rates). The charisma of public figures comes from their noble professionalism, good social image, high quality works in character and content, and not from “personalities” rooting in craziness, petulance, mischief, the selling of one’s lack-of-love and misfortunes. As a public figure, to wildly roam at the edge of the law, to place such wrong and chaotic world views, values and life perspectives in the public eye, to cause harm to the morals of society — that is definitely not innocence!

Things to note here:

1) The CPLAC reacting within a day of the actress’s statement ~  unlikely enough time for teasing out / verifying the facts or truth of the matter.

2) The implication that Chinese citizens must follow Chinese laws, even when they’re overseas. (What about, for example, same-sex marriages?)

3) These words that, IMO, bordered on insult: “craziness, petulance, mischief, the selling of one’s lack-of-love and misfortunes”.

The actress’s career was hanging by a thread with this opinion piece. State-controlled agencies chimed in, many of which echoing CPLAC’s stance that surrogacy is explicitly prohibited in China. By night time of 2021/01/19, rumours abounded that multiple media companies had already listed the actress as a “bad-history entertainer” and would be shelving all her works and cancelling all her scheduled appearances. Prada terminated her endorsement.

The final drop of the hammer happened a day later, in the evening of 2021/01/20. The NRTA issued a statement that explicitly named the actress and contained the following lines:

代孕不是私事，与法不合，有违社会主义公德。…

Surrogacy isn’t a private matter. It doesn’t agree with the law, violates the civility of socialism…

从事广播电视和网络视听的演艺人员尤其是知名艺人，作为公众人物，有很大的社会影响力和示范作用，应当自觉践行行业自律准则，严格律己修身，严私德，讲大德，守公德。

Artists who work in TV and web audiovisual productions, especially famous entertainers, have significant social influence and demonstrative roles as public figures. They should be conscious about the self-discipline required for their industry, be strict in their behaviour and personal virtues, speak of great kindness and defend civility.

行业主管部门的相关政策要求是明确的，严格的。广大人民群众不愿意、不接受、也不允许丑闻劣迹者污染我们的社会公德和公序良俗。

Policies regarding the management of the industry is clear and strict. The public does not want, does not accept, does not allow those with scandals and poor history pollute the civility, the good order and customs of our society.

我们不会为丑闻劣迹者提供发声露脸的机会和平台，一如既往，坚决为广大人民群众提供健康向上荧屏声频。

We will not supply opportunities and platforms for those with scandals and poor history to sound their opinions, to show their faces. Just as before, we are determined to provide audiovisual content that is healthy above all.

And just like this, less than 72 hours after the estranged husband posted on his Weibo, the actress’s career is over. The NRTA, which has The Say on who and what get exposure time on screen, has spoken. The actress had no way of self-defence. Her 11 million followers on Weibo didn’t get to decide whether she’d stay or she’d go.

This is a brutal punishment but for what, exactly? Some netizens have whispered while the others shout their condemnations ~ but I thought…. surrogacy isn’t illegal?

And they’re correct: surrogacy isn’t explicitly outlawed in China, despite what CPLAC and other state agencies has claimed. In 2001, the Ministry of Health banned medical institutions and health care workers from "practicing any form of surrogate technology". However, no laws have ever passed that prohibit individuals from commissioning or providing surrogacy services—especially when the services are overseas.

The actress, therefore, wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t do anything that violates the directives by the government on China’s soil. Her “crime” of using surrogate mothers was, at worst, a legally grey area. For years, China has had a booming, semi-underground surrogacy market, their client base including older parents who wish to have another child after the country relaxed its birth limit (the so-called “one-child policy”) in 2015, infertile couples, and to a lesser extent, the LGBT+ community. Blued, China’s most popular gay social networking/dating app, has offered overseas surrogate services for several years that connect their clients with US-based surrogates. It pulled the services after the actress’s incident.

But all that doesn’t matter. People in China understands this: the law book is there, but those in power at the moment always have the final word ~ and that word doesn’t have to match the legal codes, or the previous final words of their predecessors. As for the moral outcry re: the actress having wished to abort / give up her unborn children, it’s worth mentioning abortion has long been used to to enforce the country’s decades-long birth limit policies, and forced, violent late-term abortions were not unheard of. Many people in China are also aware of that.

But again, it doesn’t matter.

I’ve described the government’s reactions in detail because they put in words the expectations it has of its entertainers. Entertainers in China are expected to not only obey the laws, but also have proper world views, (moral) values and life perspectives (collectively called 三觀, literally, “three views”) as defined by the government. The state has also made clear that such expectations grow with the fame of the entertainers.

Entertainers at the top of the c-ent industry, especially the idol types with many young fans, are therefore expected to get things right. These opinion pieces are reminders that the administration keeps a close eye on them, can “cancel” them with a few words if they fail.

The term for “canceling” an entertainer is 封殺 (literally, “seal and kill”).

The actress isn’t the first to be “cancelled” by the government. The first time the NRTA issued a directive regarding “poor-history entertainers” (劣迹藝人) was in 2014, which essentially called for shutting out any entertainer with a history of bad behaviours. It demanded all production companies, TV stations, online media companies and theatres to stop producing / broadcasting audiovisual content with these people, citing that TV and film media should be used for “spreading the progressive culture of socialism and promoting socialist core values” (”传播社会主义先进文化、弘扬社会主义核心价值观”). As these entertainers will no longer be exposed to an audience, these directives effectively kill the career of most who are affected.

What makes up the “poor-history” of “poor-history entertainers” then?

- The 2014 edition named drug use and prostitution (including hiring a prostitute) specifically.

- The 2018 edition, an announcement made by a top NRTA official, stated that audiovisual programmes should adhere to the “Four Never-Use” guidelines when inviting guests for their shows. Those guidelines were vague but for the last line: “In addition, the NRTA explicitly requests that programmes should not use entertainers with tattoos; (those associated with) hip-hop culture, sub-cultures (non-mainstream cultures), decadent cultures.” (”另外，总局明确要求节目中纹身艺人、嘻哈文化、亚文化（非主流文化）、丧文化（颓废文化）不用。”)

Some may be asking: wait … hip-hop?

Yes.

It was believed that hip-hop artists were targeted due to a scandal at the time, in which (another) well-known actress had an extra-marital affair with a rapper. Analysis of the rapper’s lyrics found sexism and suggestions of drug use (the rapper later apologised and claimed his “core values” had been distorted due to influence from “black music”.) 

As this guideline hasn’t been retracted under any formal capacity, it can still be used to axe any show, shut out any entertainer.

If you’re wondering about SDOC, for example, this again illustrates the need for some … mind-reading skills to navigate life in China. A good way to achieve that without superpowers is to have the right connections to higher-ups, who can offer hints on what can get away at the moment and what cannot (this is true not only for c-ent, but for most business practices in the country; building 關係 guanxi— literally, “relationship”— is a must for those who wants a  piece of the Chinese market).

- In 2020, NRTA expanded the “no exposure” rule to live-stream shows on the internet as well as on- and offline charity events, where previously “cancelled” artists had started to find jobs in to make a living. While that notice didn’t further elaborate on what makes “bad history”, the accompanying article in People’s Daily (The State-controlled Newspaper) went into more details. In addition to drug use and prostitution specified in 2014, the article named tax evasion; lying about education levels; *suspected* (涉嫌) extramarital affairs, domestic violence and inappropriate speech.

It’s worth emphasising that many of these activities are not illegal. “Suspected” also means these activities do not have to have happened ~ it’s the impression that they’ve happened that counts. Hence, back to the actress who had surrogate children, not only did it not matter whether surrogacy is actually illegal, it didn’t matter whether the leaked audio was real or taken out of context, or that the babies didn’t end up being aborted / adopted. The article once again stresses that private matters are no longer private for entertainers who are in the public eye as social influencers, and these directives on “poor-history entertainers” — colloquially called “封殺令”, with 封殺 meaning the “seal-and-kill” and 令 meaning command (as in Chen Qing Ling 陳情令) — are there to set the standards, the bottom-line for c-ent. It did call for more specifics in future directives: more guidance on what makes “bad history”, the ways these entertainers can redeem themselves. As of today, however, such specifics have not been provided. As a result, to avoid crossing the NRTA, the media has ended up “overachieving” in certain cases, wiping out the screen time of entertainers who only have a remote chance of being viewed as having “bad history” to play it safe. Last October, for example, a young singer was briefly edited out of all his recorded shows because his parents (not him) was revealed to be deadbeats owing millions in debt.

And so, without a known way out yet, “bad-history” entertainers such as the actress will likely remain “sealed and killed” for a long time. Entertainers recently caught with extramarital affairs ~ a relatively minor “offence” ~ have been missing on screen for 2-3 years, and the heavy-handed treatment by the government this time is likely to put a pause on any companies considering using these people again. Even if they’re finally allowed some degree of comeback, their career prime will be over and and their NRTA “sentence” will likely follow them everywhere they go, which makes their getting face time in any high-profile (high-investment) projects unlikely. Those who must work to make their ends meet will probably end up like so many entertainers who never made it big, or are at the very tail end of their career ~ drifting from city to city singing in local clubs, getting paid poorly and harassed by rude customers...

===

** A side note: In case anyone wonders why she brought up COVID, it’s a similar idea as Gg apologising for “佔用了一些社會公共資源” “occupying social resources” in his first team post after 227 (2020/03/01). For an authoritarian regime that has placed the most attention on maintaining social stability (ie. quelling dissent), disrupting the government’s narrative re: current events and potentially reversing the overall tone the administration is trying to reach in public discourse can be a greater offence than any actual “wrongdoing”. 227, as an incident, was guilty of that.

(And I’m bringing this up because I find this relevant to the safety asks I have in my inbox. Arguments among fans do not themselves render Gg and Dd unsafe, but can become a significant issue if they “occupy social resources”, disrupt the government’s narratives and/or its political machinery in some ways. IMO, 227 took a dangerous turn not because the fans were arguing over a piece of fanfic, but because a group of fans took over the reporting machinery intended to rat out dissidents. It was a mistake that I hope no fans ~ regardless of who they support ~ will repeat again.)

#pie metas #pie answers #yizhan #bjyx

[nitannichionne]

If He Was Your Fan, A Henry Cavill Fanfic, Chapter 66: Walk, Trot, Canter, Jump

Chapter 66: Walk, Trot, Canter, Jump

Sorry this took so long! First, I have to get ready for summer day camp. I have been assigned to do more than one age group this year, and now I will have to share some of my exclusive programming that I have done for a decade. I am so nervous; I have had people steal my ideas and/or not give me credit for what I do, so positive and hopeful thoughts, people. The other thing is RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH! This chapter and the next few coming are taking a lot of that for me, so BE READY! I really wanted to get it right, and this took more than usual. Hope it’s worth the wait.

“She really likes you,” you say, watching Henry bond with a horse.

“She knows me,” Henry smiles. “kind of how Luc knows you.” He looks at you and then at the horse. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

You step forward slowly.

“Daisy, I’d like you to meet someone special,” he begins. He introduces you and you pet Daisy as well. “You’ve never been to an event before, have you?”

Henry wants you to consider eventing with Luc. Finn is even more excited about the idea. Eventing is like an equestrian beauty and brains pageant, taking part in and competing in categories like dressage, cross-country, and show jumping. He gives you a tour of Hyde Park, and it becomes clear that he is pitching it., It is, after all, located in Kensington, near his home. But, Luc is at Trent, so that must change before you’d consider it.

You have been training with Luc at Trent, and you probably could get through beginner novice, the lowest level, but you are not sure it is for you, or for Luc. As word spreads about you and Luc, you are invited to an equestrian event, your first brush with some of the London elite. You are happy to have Henry at your side today and he seems happy about going, but you really don’t want to. You are happy being in the stables and fields with him. It’s funny to want to go to the event but not interact.

It turns out that eventing was fine. You focus on the riders and horses, smile and say hello as you are introduced. Some people ask you about Luc, and you are more than happy to answer those questions. As you hold Henry’s hand which is warm and assuring, you can’t help but notice three ladies who look like they came out of a catalog. You feel as if they want to talk to you, and not nicely as their eyes are trained on you but are talking to each other. But Henry was a deterrent. Whatever they wanted to say, they didn’t want him to hear, which means they do not mean well.

“You alright?” Henry asks.

“Guess so,” you shrug.

“Overwhelmed?” he gently smiles in understanding.

“A little.”

“I was going to take you to the Royal Albert-a string quartet is playing—”

You gasp, both of you knowing you love listening to string quartets. “Oh, Henry, we can go—”

He shakes his head. “Let’s save that for another day.”

He takes you to Afternoon Tea at The Library. You love it. Tea in the midst of all these books!

“It’s like a Royal Starbucks,” you breathe, looking around.

He laughs at that.

“May I look at the books?” you ask.

The host turns. “You actually want to see them?”

“Yes!” you say with a big smile. “Do you have any first editions?”

The host takes us on a small tour of the library and then seats us.

“You really love your writing history,” he observes aloud.

“Well, some,” you tell him. “there is so much more out there, you know? There are the writers who gained acceptance and acclaim, but there are so many who are just good storytellers and wordsmiths who will never make it here, or might after death when their material is found. Like anything else, sometimes it’s talent that gets you there, but sometimes it’s who you know.”

You overlook the Thames with Big Ben in the background, and you can’t help but smile.

“What?”

“You look like a postcard, babe.”

He flushes slightly, chuckling. He leans forward slightly. “You’re a treat for my eyes, too.”

You smile at his charm, but you are not a postcard and you know it. Though you saw some women in dresses, you were dressed to ride at a moment’s notice. Dressed in a white flowing blouse, tight black leather vest and brown pants, you look more like a commoner. You set your floppy hat aside.

Henry excuses himself to go to the loo and you sit there waiting. You went on arrival before looking at some of the antique books.

“Ah, there she is.”

You look up, and tense at the sight of the three witches from the equestrian event.

“Henry’s newest acquisition.”

You frown at that. You will yourself to say nothing. You set your napkin on your lap.

“Do you really think you’ll keep him?” the blonde asks. “You’re not even from proper or wealthy family. You can’t raise his position, you are--”

You exhale heavily. “Someone he loves?”

“Until the novelty wears off,” she says in a low voice. “He only lasts through that, the infatuation, didn’t you know?”

You take a deep breath. “I guess time will tell then.” Social media was never important to you; in fact you have two identities online-your writing pseudonym and your real one. But these people you cannot avoid. “Thank you for your unsolicited input on a relationship you have no part in. Have a good day.” You raise your hand.

The host rushes over. “Miss?”

“These-ladies-wish me ill. Would you see them to their table, please?”

“We’re done here—”

“Amber?” Henry says. His body his rigid, his blue eyes hard like shards of ice.

Her demeanor becomes bubbly. “Henry, I came by to say hello.”

“Hello,” he nods.

“Linda, Catherine,” Henry curtly nods in acknowledgment.

“Henry,” they greet in unison.

He looks at them and gives a small smile. He introduces you as his significant other. “Good seeing you all, and do take care of yourselves.” He gives a nod to the host.

“This way, please?” the host nods. The ladies give parting glares to both of us before being led away.

“Darling—”

“I’m fine,” you say. “I’m fine.” But all the fears you have about being with Henry are rising like bile inside you. You are trying to assimilate, but there is nothing to do about your lineage or little finances. You are working on the latter, but unless you are a debutante daughter or lost heir, it is highly probable you may never be worth forty million. Times like these you are reminded.

“Do you—do you want to go?” His concern is so clear as he lovingly takes your hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” you say quickly. “I refuse to listen to and care about people who do not care about me, it’s like willfully eating poison.” You smile and he gives you a small smile, giving your hand a squeeze. “I’d rather concentrate on those who do. Besides, our relationship is between us, we won’t allow others in and we won’t let others win, will we?”

His smile widens. “No.”

You look around. “I want to have tea here, Henry, it’s a good choice.”

He brightens. “Love that.”

“What?”

“You’re such a spitfire at times.”

You laugh at him. “Let’s just say my mother had reserves of inner strength I luckily inherited.”

“Yes, one of the reasons I love you.” He kisses your hand.

“And why I love you, Henry.”

@mistress-of-ward @nuggsmum @messyinsomnimaniac @jencanbeyouryengeralt @sweetdreamsofgelato @mary-ann84 @omgkatinka @the-soot-sprite @viking-raider @keanureevesisbae @henryobsessed @summersong69 @sunshine96love @michelehansel @thelastsock @tumblnewby @tenaciousneckpartypainter @rn7rocks @daydreamin83 @ruthoakenshield @musicartmayheminmyheart @kaatelyynn-blog-blog@forallthebrokenheartedthings @alphacancrii @liquorlaughslove @designerwriterchic @tamychm @nikkilynn303 @circesgirl1 @xoxohannahlee @pixie88@fckdeusername @maan24 @kaatelyyynn​ @october505​ @absentmindr​ @introvertedmouse​ @sassy-pelican @griscka75 @kebabgirl67

#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fluff #august walker #captain syverson #clark kent #geralt #sherlock #superman #walter marshall #will shaw #witcher #Youtube

[buck-buck-boose]

I'll Love You 'Til I Die

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: A Brooklyn schoolgirl fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes at the tender age of nine. With this love she made a vow, promising to love him until her very last breath.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Language, mild violence

Word Count: 4.6k

Author's Note: Big things are happening y'all

Chapter Twenty-One: The Super Soldier

March 19, 1943

Dawn crept up on Camp Lehigh in a thick haze of fog, the chirp of crickets its only whispered greeting. A late-winter frost bloomed across what little grass remained, the majority having been trampled underfoot by platoon after platoon of soldiers. Winter was quickly fading, giving way to a promising spring, but the bitter chill still latched onto those dewy mornings to remind Camp Lehigh’s inhabitants of the cold season they’d just nearly escaped.

Although sessions of training were not due to begin for hours, warm bodies were stirred from slumber in their barracks, meeting the cold, stale air of their poorly-insulated lodgings. The nurse’s barracks was lit by a lamp's dim glow, which splayed a flush of golden light across the room. Five women quietly and nimbly dressed, none of them wishing to break the silence that balanced among them; the early morning was sacred to them, as it seemed to be the only time apart from nighttime in which one could be alone with one’s thoughts.

Lottie deftly pinned her mousy curls beneath her white cap, caring little for their arrangement or appearance. Once upon a time, she’d tamed her curls with gentle finger waves and carefully pinned back strands, desperate to look the part of a fair woman like Ginger Rogers. It was a quieter, more joyful time in which she had the time and desire to put ample effort into her appearance. How simpler life in Brooklyn seemed, in retrospect. She only had to care for Steve or Bucky’s wounds, usually from some street brawl instigated by Steve and ended by Bucky; now she had soldiers to care for. Soldiers who would one day be covered in great, gaping wounds, some so deeply ingrained within their souls that neither the highest of morphine dosages nor the strongest suture could soothe them.

Lottie made swift work of fastening her blue cape around her neck, situating it so that the inner red lining wasn’t peeking out. In her peripherals, Mary smoothed a hand down her white skirt in a weak attempt at combatting its wrinkles while Betty gave her face a once-over in a battered compact that she always seemed to have on her person. Lottie was downright envious of her ever-red lip and sultry gaze, they seemed to turn the heads of all the young privates on base, which earned them more than a few reprimands. It was only a few weeks ago that Betty had explained her reasoning for putting such effort into her physical charm, even in the middle of the war.

“Nurses are supposed to provide comfort, care, right?” She sat across from Lottie at their table in the mess hall, smoke curling from a freshly lit cigarette resting between her fingers. She puffed on the cigarette for a moment and slowly exhaled the smoke, “Well these boys have been stuck in a war for over a year now and they probably haven’t seen a pretty face in a while. They’re probably missing their sweethearts, fiancées, you name it. Either way, they’ve gotta be awful lonely out there, so what’s the harm in being that girl with the pretty face that can make them a little less lonesome?”

Before anyone could raise a question, she continued, “I’m not talking affairs or anything illicit, sometimes they just need a pretty face and a nice voice to remind ‘em of home, to ease that loneliness.”

Betty’s little sermon drew Lottie’s thoughts to Bucky. He was a fiercely loyal man who would stop at nothing to protect or care for his closest companions. For his own sake, Lottie hoped that he’d found a sort of comradery with his fellow soldiers, a bond to strengthen him while they were separated by an ocean. He’d always had a habit of flashing her his trademark grin and ruffling her hair, all while declaring something silly like “You ‘n Steve are all I need, Little Lottie. It’s always gonna be the three of us, ‘til the end of the line.” Lottie could only hope that Bucky had found a bond like theirs with his fellow soldiers as a source of comfort and a respite from loneliness.

“Lottie dear, Dr. Erskine’s waiting for us.”

It seemed that the other nurses had filtered out of the barracks as Lottie was lost in thought. Only Gladys remained, waiting for her expectantly at the doorway. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, with her white cap nestled daintily atop her head, held in place with a handful of pins.

“Apologies, Gladys, I’m coming.” Gladys gave her a small smile as she caught up, nerves keeping her from forming her true toothy grin. All the nurses were nervous, to be truthful, as it was a significant day. Their serum was finally being put to use; they had found their first Super Soldier in Steve Rogers.

When Lottie had received the news of his selection to receive the serum, she’d nearly fainted with shock. Steve was a man with a heart of gold, she’d always known that, but it only served to heighten her self-doubt with regards to the serum’s efficacy. If the serum went awry as it did with Schmidt, Lottie wasn’t sure how she would be able to live with herself.

Dr. Erskine and Colonel Phillips’ debriefing as to why Steve had been chosen to become America’s first Super Soldier was a source of comfort, though. The two men had cornered the five nurses outside their barracks right as they were heading inside to turn in for the night.

The scientist had been the first to speak, “Ladies, we wanted to catch you as soon as possible. Colonel Phillips and I have decided upon our candidate for the serum. Private Steve Rogers will report to our facility in Brooklyn promptly at ten hundred hours tomorrow. We will need to depart camp at six hundred hours so we have abundant time to become accustomed to the equipment that will be in use. Mr. Stark will be joining us there.”

Lottie was sure there’d been spots in her vision, the announcement had nearly knocked all the wind out of her.

“I expect you ladies to uphold the same sense of secrecy and vigilance that you’ve had up until this point,” Colonel Phillips interjected, “This is only the beginning of our mission. We must continue to protect Project Rebirth, no matter how hopeless it may seem.” His voice was laced with bitterness, obviously doubtful of Steve’s abilities.

Nancy furrowed her brow, “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Private Rogers the ninety-pound asthmatic? Why him and not someone more… reliable, like Private Hodge?”

Lottie bristled slightly, as she did not take kindly to critical remarks regarding her friends.

“Need I remind you that the serum is not focused only on the physical?” Dr. Erskine fixed Nancy with a level gaze, “He is not the most well-built soldier, I admit that. But as you have seen yourself, the serum is capable of incredible cellular change that will only strengthen him. It will also amplify the qualities that he already has inside of himself. He has proven himself to be a good soldier and a worthy recipient of the serum.” Lottie glanced at Colonel Phillips, whose face was twisted into an awkward grimace, though he did not comment.

“During training today, he exhibited qualities of strength and humility that I have yet to see in any other soldiers thus far. Would Private Hodge throw himself over a grenade to protect his fellow soldiers? He showed me today that he would not, but Private Rogers would.”

Colonel Phillips muttered something along the lines of, “Still skinny,” though the bitterness seemed to fade. All of the nurses came to accept the news, trading in their expressions of shock and concern for ones of uncertainty and anxiety. It seemed that reality had hit for all five of the nurses at once; their work had finally come to fruition, making the road ahead even more daunting than before.

There was little conversation in the nurse’s compartment on the train to Brooklyn. There were moments of brief chatter among the women, but they were all too lost in their thoughts to carry on a proper conversation. Lottie shifted in her seat every few minutes, the poorly-cushioned seat providing little comfort during the duration of the train ride. Beside her, Gladys flicked through a stack of paper, which she’d pulled out of a manila folder that had been stamped with the word “Confidential” in large red letters. Ever the levelheaded academic of the group, she’d decided to look over their notes on the serum and its activation procedure one last time.

Across from her, Mary and Nancy were busying themselves with embroidery, an activity that a few of the nurses had picked up to improve their abilities with stitching. Lottie pictured a frayed handkerchief in her mind’s eye, a tattered old thing covered in clumsy pink flowers with a “JBB” monogram stitched carefully onto its corner. She wondered if Bucky had taken it with him overseas. He’d always kept it on his person back in Brooklyn, “Never know when a dame’s gonna go all misty eyed on me,” he’d say, humor in his eyes. There wouldn’t be many women for him to comfort overseas, but maybe he’d need it for his tears someday.

Betty sat to the right of Gladys, scanning the pages of a battered copy of Gone With the Wind. She’d never struck Lottie as a bookworm, but more often than not, she was the last of the women to fall asleep at night, usually engrossed in a novel for an hour or two past lights-out.

Two hours passed uneventfully; its monotony was only interrupted by the transferring from one train to another. Lottie’s heart seemed to pound in her ears as they approached Brooklyn, the tall buildings in her window becoming more and more familiar to her. Her heart swelled at the sight of it; she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the city until she returned after all that time. Of course, she’d been gone from the city for longer while she was in nursing school, but it tugged at her heartstrings even more than before because a damn war was what kept her from her beloved borough.

It wasn’t long before the train had arrived, initiating a flurry of movement out of the train car and toward a car that sat at the curb, waiting for them. All five nurses clambered inside, with Dr. Erskine following behind in his car. The car ride was a short one, though Lottie took the time to observe her surroundings; she wanted so desperately to drink in the familiar alleys and side streets before she had to return to Camp Lehigh, to war.

Their car stopped abruptly in front of a cozy antique shop; one she’d never paid much attention to. Dr. Erskine’s car had arrived just a few moments before theirs, so they followed him inside. Once inside, they were faced with an aged woman, who greeted them with a casual question, though her eyes betrayed a deeper glimmer of suspicion, “Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?”

Dr. Erskine responded promptly, “Yes, but I always carry an umbrella.”

They were quickly led through a false bookcase, which hid a vast laboratory full of all that was needed to complete the transformation that would occur in a few hours. There were dozens of monitors and gauges, all for measuring Steve’s vitals and the Vita-Rays that were intended to activate the serum within his cells. In the center of it all, there was a bed on which Steve would lie, and when injected with the serum, the bed would be surrounded by a chamber while the Vita-Rays were projected into him.

Lottie and her peers stood at the top of the stairs, taking it all in, while Dr. Erskine descended the steps toward a control panel. He glanced back at them briefly, “Shall we all get accustomed to this now, ladies?”

Over the past few hours, Lottie had tired herself by calibrating various instruments, readying the equipment, and arranging several vials of serum within the transformation chamber. Throughout that time, doctors, higher-ranking soldiers, and members of the SSR slowly filtered into the room, some even gathering in the observation booth that looked down on them from above. She knew that Steve was due to arrive with Agent Carter at any moment. Frankly, she was terrified— mortified, even.

Howard Stark flitted about the laboratory, checking up on the various devices that would be used throughout the process. The Vita-Ray chamber was his brainchild, so a majority of his morning was spent double and triple-checking its minute parts and its stability.

At precisely 10 o’clock in the morning, Agent Carter and Steve stepped into the laboratory, two metal doors held open by guards for their entrance. Silence quickly descended upon the scientists and personnel who had been moving about the room in a sort of organized chaos. Lottie knew that most of them were looking at Steve in confusion, and in some cases dismay, but she made sure to send her best friend a reassuring smile. Even if the bullheaded scientists in the room were doubtful of his abilities, Lottie was with him. She believed in him. Her only doubts were in her abilities.

The staff quickly returned to their business as Agent Carter and Steve descended the steps and approached the center of the laboratory to meet with Dr. Erskine. They shared a brief greeting before Steve was ordered to remove his hat, tie, and shirt; Mary waited beside him with a kind smile, accepting his shed clothing. Agent Carter stood a few feet behind Steve, respectfully averting her gaze as he partially disrobed. Lottie took a special interest in their interactions, examining the way in which she treated Steve. She didn’t ignore or belittle him as some women did, she treated him with more dignity and respect. For that, Lottie was grateful.

Lottie busied herself with sterilizing several glass syringes as she impatiently awaited the initiation of the transformation. She could just barely make out a conversation that Dr. Erskine and Steve had shared about schnapps, but before she could quite figure out what was said, the scientist turned to the inventor beside him, “Mr. Stark, how are your levels?”

“Levels at one hundred percent. We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready as we’ll ever be.” Mr. Stark stood in front of the chamber where Steve now lay, projecting an air of confidence despite an uncomfortable look in his eye.

Agent Carter was dismissed to the booth to join Colonel Phillips, who was seated with several other seemingly important men that Lottie didn’t care to know. Dr. Erskine addressed the crowd in the booth using a microphone, explaining the purpose of Project Rebirth. Meanwhile, Lottie and her fellow nurses prepared the Vita-Ray chamber; she’d just situated the paddles on his chest when his gaze met hers. They’d been in a similar position so many times before. There were countless times over the past decade when she and Bucky had shown up at his apartment, soup and medicine in hand, to make him feel better during his latest bout of sickness. Bucky would always sit on one side of the bed, leaning on the mattress as he tried to distract Steve with idle conversation. She always kept vigil on the opposite side of the bed from Bucky, pulling Steve’s sheets up to his chin no matter how much he complained of the heat. She would never have to do that again, Lottie realized, as the serum would (hopefully) strengthen his immune system to the point that it would nearly be impossible to get sick. He wouldn’t need her or Bucky to look after him anymore. It pained her only slightly; she was overjoyed that he would be strengthened and healed by the serum, but it felt like the end of an era for her. She wasn’t truly needed anymore.

When the scientist’s speech to the booth had concluded, Lottie disinfected Steve’s shoulder and injected a syringe of penicillin into it; beforehand, she gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, warning him for the pain of the jab. She felt him sigh in relief, “That wasn’t so bad.”

Lottie bit back a giggle while Dr. Erskine looked down at Steve with a furrowed brow, “That was penicillin.” The scientist gave her a look and without missing a beat, began the countdown.

Five

The doctors and scientists that were scattered around the laboratory rushed to their control panels, monitoring Steve’s vitals and the Vita-Ray levels that would soon be harnessed for the serum’s activation.

Four

Those that were observing from the booth looked at the scene below with bated breath; they either anticipated either a predictable failure or an unlikely success.

Three

The five nurses gathered around the Vita-Ray chamber, monitoring the serum infusion. Two mechanical arms latched onto Steve’s biceps and embedded several syringes deep into his muscle.

Two

Dr. Erskine placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. Lottie met Steve’s gaze once more, she was that little girl at his bedside, sitting her vigil for one last time.

One

A switch was flipped and several syringes of the serum were injected into Steve’s system. Lottie could already see the strain it was putting on his body, his face contorted and he grunted in pain as he felt the serum begin its work in his body.

When given his signal, Mr. Stark flipped a lever to encase Steve in the Vita-Ray chamber, which maneuvered Steve into a vertical position before he was completely locked into the machine. Dr. Erskine knocked on the metal, “Steven? Can you hear me?”

A muffled response came from within the metal, “It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?” Lottie snorted, only Steve would make a terrible joke at a time like that.

The scientist faced Mr. Stark, “We will proceed.” Below him, Mr. Stark slowly turned a dial and donned a pair of goggles. Lottie and her peers followed suit, as the luminosity of the Vita-Rays would cause vision damage if their eyes were left uncovered.

Lottie worried her lip as Mr. Stark slowly increased the radiation levels by turning a wheel that was mounted on the control panel. Next to him, a doctor carefully monitored Steve’s vitals; he reported that they were all normal, which calmed Lottie a tad.

At around the seventy percent mark, cries began to ring out from within the Vita-Ray chamber. It was as if screams were being torn from Steve’s throat, they were so hoarse and raw. Dr. Erskine rushed to the chamber while Peggy quickly descended from the booth, urging the personnel to cease the radiation. Lottie stood in shock, stuck in an internal impasse. She worried deeply for Steve’s safety, she always had and always would. Simultaneously, she needed to trust in the years’ worth of work she’d put into Project Rebirth. She and her fellow nurses had worked day after day, slaving over the Super Soldier Serum and Vita-Ray theories to develop the perfect transformation method. If she couldn’t trust her abilities and research, what could she trust?

But when Steve’s cries seemed to echo throughout the laboratory, she knew that his safety superseded whatever pride she had in her research. Lottie had just opened her mouth to call for an end to it when Steve insisted from within the Vita-Ray chamber, “Don’t! I can do this!”

A burst of warmth bloomed in Lottie’s chest; Steve trusted their work and he was fighting to see it through. Mr. Stark continued to raise the radiation levels until they had reached one hundred percent. The staff and observers from the booth could only look on in shock and wonder as the light from within the chamber continued to glow brighter and it began to give off a steady humming noise.

Without warning, sparks began to spray out from the control panels as a result of the copious amounts of electricity being funneled into the transformation. Lottie cried out, ducking down with Mary to avoid the sparks that showered down on them from overhead. Across from them, Nancy, Gladys, and Betty assumed similar positions, clutching their white caps as they attempted to shield themselves from the onslaught.

As quickly as it started, the sparks ceased, as did the humming of the Vita-Ray chamber. The laboratory was far dimmer than it was earlier, with the light from the radiation gone, and nearly half the bulbs in the laboratory having been blown out.

All eyes were on the Vita-Ray chamber as they all awaited the final result of Project Rebirth. The chamber hissed open and released a gust of air, revealing an exhausted-looking Steve.

Lottie could barely believe it, not only was he exhausted-looking, but it seemed as if he’d gained nearly 8 inches of height and a few dozen pounds of muscle. Gone was that scrawny blond boy who’d gotten lost in crowds far too easily, here was a man— a Super Soldier —who was perfectly enhanced on a cellular level.

The SSR agents and politicians who were previously gathered in the booth rushed to meet with Steve, barely able to contain their excitement. They clambered over each other, all of them desperate to be the first one to speak with America’s first Super Soldier.

In all the chaos, Betty had sidled up to her, her jaw nearly touching the floor, “Hot damn, Lottie Green. Hot damn.” She ogled at Steve as she took in his new physique. Lottie rolled her eyes, “Just because he’s got more muscle doesn’t mean he’ll be able to talk to you any better. Or that he won’t step on your toes if you get him to dance.”

Steve stood in the middle of a crowd of men, though Agent Carter stood in front of him, attempting to look at anything but his chest.

“I think you might want this, Stevie,” Lottie moved in to stand beside Agent Carter and offered him a shirt, which he accepted gratefully. He smiled down at her gratefully, murmuring a quiet, “Thank you, Lottie.”

How odd it was to be looking up at him. It was certainly something that Lottie wasn’t used to, she’d gotten quite used to looking down at him, in fact. By age sixteen, she’d gained about two inches on him, and though he was loath to admit it, she knew it pained him to be the shortest of the three of them. Luckily for him, his new height delegated her as the most diminutive of the Brooklyn trio by far.

Amid the jubilation following Project Rebirth’s success, grave mistakes were made. Gladys had left her manila folder of notes— all the notes that the nurses had ever taken during their research —on one of the control panels closest to the stairway, just close enough to the exit to be snatched up by a discreet hand. An extra vial of Super Soldier serum sat in its case, at the ready for its eventual use; it stood unguarded and unwatched.

The once-unassuming Fred Clemson hung back from the crowd, a lighter in hand. Dr. Erskine was the first to notice his position apart from everyone else; the scientist opened his mouth as if to say something, but before he could form a sentence, Clemson had flicked open the lighter and triggered an explosion from the observation booth.

Screams rang out from the middle of the laboratory as glass rained down on them. Sparks even worse than before began assaulting them and left stinging burns in their wake. Lottie grunted as she felt minuscule shards of glass tear at and become embedded in her skin; it would surely be a pain to treat such small cuts and remove the pieces of glass later on. It was shocking, really, how quickly the mood of the room had shifted. Just moments before, she’d been looking at Steve in awe, fully processing all that the serum had accomplished. Her sentiments of excitement and pride quickly evaporated, replaced by a growing sense of panic and dread.

The force of the explosion had thrown Lottie and some of the other nurses to the ground, so she scrambled to her feet in an attempt to take action against the man. It was all in vain, for as soon as she regained her footing, all she saw was the bespectacled man diving through the crowd to grab the last vial of Super Soldier serum and the thick manila envelope that Gladys had brought with her. Lottie’s stomach dropped in terror; she opened her mouth to cry out for backup, but Dr. Erskine was one step ahead of her. He commanded the man to stop, but the only response he received was several gunshots in the chest.

Deep red stains formed across the front of his shirt and seeped into his lab coat, his vibrant blood was a sickening contrast to the crisp white color of his lab coat. The scientist fell to the ground, his legs sprawled out before him and his arms at his side. Lottie knew that there was no hope for him— there were no exit wounds and she was more than certain that at least one of his lungs had been punctured. His breathing was labored, his chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Lottie didn’t need to perform an examination to know that the wounds would be fatal. There was no time for an examination anyway, gunshots continued to ring out across the laboratory, and Agent Carter was in hot pursuit of the offender.

Mary looked at Lottie for some sort of reassurance of direction, her mouth agape, “Lottie, he's— he’s gonna die if we don’t do somethin’. C’mon, we’ve gotta help him.” Her voice came out in a whimper and her hands shook as she searched the floor for any fallen bandages. She took Mary’s trembling hands into her clammy ones, “Mary, look at his breathing. You know there’s nothing we can do for him now.”

She knew it was a heartbreaking thing to say, but Mary was a brilliant nurse; she already knew all the signs of a punctured lung. Lottie knew that she was having a hard time processing the information due to the shock that was no doubt obscuring her senses and rational thought. What Mary needed was a calm voice to guide her back from the brink of hysteria, a friend to bring her back to reality.

The nurses learned a jarring lesson about reality’s harsh nature that day; they learned of its cycle of gains and losses, successes and failures. The five nurses of Project Rebirth had achieved all that they’d been dreaming of for more than a year, they’d proven themselves to be reliable and even stellar researchers in their field. It had all been ripped away from them in a matter of moments, with the loss of their notes and serum, as well as the brutal death of Dr. Erskine. All they could do was clutch each other helplessly as they watched Steve follow the man in hot pursuit— the man who had stolen everything from them. Lottie, Mary, Betty, Nancy, and Gladys had certainly entered a new era in their careers as nurses, an era of uncertainty. With nothing left from Project Rebirth besides the Super Soldier himself, their futures were left in limbo until the Strategic Scientific Reserve could figure out what to do with them next.

#40s!bucky x original female character #40s!bucky x ofc #40s!bucky #40s!bucky x reader #bucky fluff #1940s bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky x ofc #bucky fic #bucky barnes #bucky x original female character #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes ff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #ilytid

[beautyiswithinchaos]

Night Shift

*** disclaimer: all new work is here @chaos-is-beautifvl ***

pairing: spencer reid x reader (no specified gender)

summary: you leave as he comes. neither of you want to let go... but is the pain worth holding onto?

warnings: ANGST, so much angst, i’m sorry (not really), some fluff at the end to make up for it, bonding time with the lovely BAU women

word count: 5.04K (i know... it’s a lot, but enjoy!)

---

You got a 9 to 5,

So I’ll take the night shift

And I’ll never see you again if I can help it

— Night Shift by Lucy Darcus

It wasn't how it used to be, your relationship that is. You knew how life worked, how relationships worked. Sometimes things would change, and whether they were for the best or the worst was up to fate. Well, the three spinsters weren't on you or Spencer's sides.

You had felt the shift - the change in the natural flow of your dynamic. It was like a spool of thread, and you were walking on it. After a while, the sturdiness and solidity of the beam slowly fell off, piece by piece. It happened so slowly that you hadn't even registered that it was falling apart until it was.

Had the two of you had a proper conversation in months? No, and it wasn't because of your jobs - not that you both hadn't used that as an excuse. It was because both you and Spencer felt the drift. You both were holding onto that last piece of thread, holding onto some semblance of hope.

"Hey." His voice came out sharp and clear. The voice that once calmed you and brought you comfort was now a memory of the past. When he spoke, it was a constant reminder that what you once had was falling apart, dissenting into an empty pit.

You muttered a quiet "hello" as you searched the room for your work badge. Locating it, you breathed a sigh of relief. Your interactions with Spencer had continuously been this way. Well, at least that's how it had been for the past few months. Or, was it always this way, and either of you had yet to notice? Or maybe you did notice but pushed the feelings away in turn of keeping your spool of thread.

Your coat was the next thing you grabbed. It was routine. Spencer would come home from work or a case, and you would be leaving. It hadn't always been this way. At one point or another, you didn't take the night shift, opting for the day shift so that both of you could spend time together. You weren't sure why you did it, why you decided to change shifts. Your best bet was that it was easier, not seeing him, not having to talk. Talking revealed things, things that you couldn't hide with a profiler psychoanalyzing your every move.

"We should talk," Spencer said as your hand touched the doorknob. You shut your eyes, trying to keep your mind away from him. The only you wanted - no needed, to be focused on was work. It wasn't healthy what you were doing, but it helped.

"I have to get to work," you sighed, still facing the door. You could feel eyes on your back, but you couldn't allow it to phase you. Spencer took a step forward, and you could only imagine how he looked. His routine eyebags would be present, disheveled look on his face, but clothes as crisp as a teacher's assistant. He would step forward, right foot in front of left, hands in the pockets of his trousers.

He released his own sigh, and you could feel the disappointment radiating off of his body. "Okay, then. When you get home." He wasn't asking you if that was a good time, and you preferred it that way. If you had a choice, you would decline as you hated confrontation. But this was better.

You agreed before walking out the door, the night sky greeting you as a star twinkled. In your mind, it was mocking you, the way the stars twinkled. They built constellations, something that would stay forever. You had built a relationship, but you weren't sure it would last another day.

---

You received a phone call during your shift. It was "lunch" time. Well, since lunch wasn't until a few more hours, it technically wasn't. You couldn't find it in you to eat anything. You didn't feel sick or anything, just not hungry. You poked around at your food, passing it over to Paula. She was a mother of three, one grown with a baby on the way, another about to graduate, and one in middle school.

You and Paula had grown close over your time working together. She was a good woman who worked hard for her children. She eyed you as you slid the food over to her. Paula knew things hadn't been happy go lucky with Spencer lately. Hell, anyone with working eyes and common sense could tell there was something wrong.

"How are you doing, honey?" Paula's voice was soft and comforting, much like Spencer's had been one point in time. You pulled yourself away from your thoughts, a sad smile crossing your face as you shrugged, "I don't know, Paula. I feel like we're holding onto something that isn't there anymore."

"Oh, hun," she said gently, hand reaching across the table and touching yours. You closed your eyes at the contact, feeling as though at any minute you would break. "I know it hurts, and I know you're scared..." she paused, and you opened your eyes to meet her soft green ones, "But you have to talk to Spencer."

You shook your head, anxiety already piling up. I can't do that, you thought, worrying your bottom lip with your fingers. If I confront him, will this be the end?

"Of course, you don't have to," she grasped your hand in her own. Even if you and Spencer didn't survive this, she knew this would be good for you. There was so much unresolved pain settling between the two of you, and it grew every day.

You were about to speak when a buzz sounded from beside you. Grabbing your phone, you saw Spencer's name pop up. He was calling you. You flashed a look to Paula, and she sent a reassuring smile before grabbing her food and allowing you some privacy. You were grateful for that.

Answering the call, you released a shaky breath before pulling the phone to your ear, "Spencer." Your fingers tapped anxiously on the table as you awaited his response.

"Y/N," the sound of him calling your name calmed your nerves. It had been so long since either of you had even uttered the other's name. Whenever the two of you saw each other, you would mutter a hello or goodbye, and that was it.

"We don't have to-" You cut him off before he could continue. You already knew what he was going to say, well, at least you thought you did. "It's fine. I get it. You don't want to talk. Right? It's okay, Spence."

Unbeknownst to you, Spencer felt the corner of his mouth tugging upward at the nickname that left your mouth. He looked down, his fingers fiddling with the cord attached. You had always picked fun at him with how anti-technology he was. That was until his old-timey habits started rubbing off on you, and you began reading on paper rather than a screen, amongst other things.

"Y/N." His voice made you stop speaking, and you hated it. You hated the effect it had on you. After all these years, you would think it would lessen, but now that you and Spencer were at a crossroads constructed by the three spinsters, it seemed to be growing like a waxing moon.

"I want-" His sigh came through the speaker of the phone, "I want us to talk. We need to talk."

You nodded before remembered that he couldn't see you. Your voice was steady as you spoke, "Yeah, I think we do. Uh, I'll see you when I get home."

You both muttered your goodbyes before you got back to work, and he, doing whatever he had been doing before calling. Other than having a hiccup with one of the patients who insisted on being independent, the rest of your shift went smoothly.

The drive home reminded you of your relationship with Spencer. Not only was he your lover, your significant other; he was your best friend. He knew some of your deepest thoughts and fear, and you, his. Besides that, he could read you like a book, and it wasn't because he was a profiler. There were just little tells about yourself that he noticed. He noticed you would rub a hand down your neck when you were uncomfortable or how excited you got when your favorite music would play.

You noticed the little things about him too. You picked up on how when Spencer got really invested in a newfound topic or something he wanted to share - he would scrunch his nose. You thought it was adorable, but you had never brought it up to him, not wanting him to stop doing it. You also noticed when his mood had shifted, no matter how hard he attempted to hide it.

The question at hand was how had you not noticed that the thread you were both holding onto was straining.

When you had gotten home, an anxious feeling filled you. You were nervous, to say the least, and it wasn't the good kind. With a deep breath, you opened the front door, hung your coat up, and kicked your shoes off.

Spencer was sat on the couch, papers in hand, but he put them aside when he saw you approaching. You sat across from him, opting to look down at the floor instead of his face. Both of you sat in silence for a while. The tickling of the clock on the wall and kitchen faucet dripping water were the only sounds filling the living room.

"We can't keep doing this." He was right. You couldn't keep doing this. The back and forth, the not talking to each other. It was beginning to become too much, and you both wished things could back to the way they were. But Spencer was a realist, and even though you could be a dreamer at times, you knew it wouldn't work out that way.

"I know." It was silent after that, those familiar sounds from before filling the room. You couldn't help but feel as though this was the end. You could barely look at him, and it seemed he couldn't look at you either.

"Spencer..." you paused before speaking. Was this what you wanted? To confront him and hope for the best? At this point, it seemed like your only choice is you wanted to salvage whatever was left.

"What are we doing?" You saw Spencer open his mouth, about to respond when you continued, "I mean- we can't keep doing this. I can't remember the last time we even had a proper conversation, one that wasn't exchanging pleasantries."

"45," Spencer said after a moment. You raised an eyebrow as you played with your bottom lip, "45? What are you-"

"That's how long. 45, 45 days ago was the last time we had a proper conversation, but I'm sure you're referring to before all of this happened." 45 days? The piece of thread waned.

You nodded, a soft sigh leaving your lips. Spencer shifted on the couch, running a hand through his messy hair. "I felt something odd happening between us exactly 92 days ago. I don't know if..."

He stopped talking, and you rose your head to look at him, "You don't know if what?" Spencer looked to you, mouth dropping open slightly. "What were you going to say?"

"Nothing," Spencer sighed, shaking his head as he stood. You followed his movements, standing up as well, "Don't 'nothing' me. What were you going to say?"

"I don't even know if I still love you, okay?!" His words hit you hard. It seemed as though he hadn't meant to blurt them out as his hand flew to his mouth, and he avoided your eyes. You took in a deep breath, contemplating your next words. He doesn't know if he still loves me, you thought as you stared at him. He doesn't love me anymore...

The silence was overbearing. It allowed you to wallow in your thoughts, be consumed by them. The piece of thread grew thinner and thinner. You blinked back tears. How long had Spencer been feeling this way? And did this mean your relationship was over? You didn't know, but you were about to find out.

"Y/N..." Spencer started, taking a cautious step towards you. You shook your head as you wrapped your arms around yourself. A gnawing pain entered you, causing your chest to tighten and your head to hurt, swarmed with thoughts about how this was your fault.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." You wanted to believe him; you truly did. The problem at hand was that even though he seemed sincere, you knew it was true, at least partially. If there was one thing to know about Spencer was thought he was factual. Everything he said was a fact, and that - what he said about not loving you anymore - was a fact. You didn't want it to be, but it was.

"Yes, you did," your voice wavered as you spoke, and you lifted your head to meet his gaze. Spencer's bottom lip jutted out. He looked at you as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I didn't."

"It's okay, Spence." Your hand quickly shot up and wiped at the tear falling down your face. It hurt, but you wanted to do what was best for both of you, what was best for him.

"If we can't-" you shook your head as more tears fell, and all Spencer wanted to do was hold you. He never liked it when you were sad - even more so when it was by his hand. There were few times either of you had made the other cry. But none of those occurred because one of you wasn't sure how much you loved the other.

"If us being together isn't good for you, then maybe..." You couldn't finish your sentence, but Spencer knew what you meant. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, shaking his head. "That's, that's not what I want. I don't want to lose you."

He stepped forward and rested his hand on your cheek. You leaned into his touch, inhaling his scent, "But, is it what you need?" He was silent after that. Was this what he needed? He didn't want to be apart from you, but you were right. Being apart from you, from your relationship as each other's significant others, was what he needed.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled softly, leaning forward and resting his forehead against yours. You smiled sadly, tears falling down your face. "Don't be."

He nodded, and you felt something warm on your face. He was crying, something that didn't happen often. Spencer was the type of person to hold everything in - when something would happen, he would bottle it up. It wasn't the case now, though.

He was about to speak when you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face into his chest. He was quick to hold you close to him as he brushed the tip of his nose against the top of your head.

Your shoulders shook as you sobbed into his chest, tears wetting the fabric of his sweater vest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And he was, sorry, that is. He never wanted to hurt you, ever. But here he was, breaking your heart.

"I love you, Spencer." There was so much pain and love behind those four words that it was overbearing. It felt like you were suffocating, swallowed by the pain in your heart.

"I love you, Y/N," he said as he rememorized the way you felt in his warms because soon, he would no longer have you. As the two of you held each other, eyes closed as you relished the memory, the thread snapped, leaving you both on two cliffs, far away from the other.

---

"So," JJ came back to the table, drinks in hand, "how'd your date go?"

It had been almost two years since that night when everything changed. It hurt - the distance, the not being able to be with him, the loneliness. But you did what you knew was best for him. The rest of that night, you two held each other, no words spoken but small 'I love you's and sorrowful 'I'm sorry's.

Penelope accepted one of the fruit drinks JJ had just whipped up in the kitchen with grabby hands, "Yes. Your date. Spill." You all shook your head and laughed at her antics. Penelope raised her brow as she sipped from her straw, "Well?"

"It was nice," you said, resulting in the three ladies in front of you to lean in excitedly. While they were serious and professional when it came to their work, they loved to gossip.

"What happened?" Penelope asked, her grin growing. That was one of the things you loved about Penelope - she was so optimistic, and while others may find that annoying, you loved it.

"Well," you started, taking a long sip of your water as you weren't in much of a drinking mood tonight. You almost laughed at how invested the three were. It was like you had just left them on a cliffhanger, and they were waiting for the next episode.

"It was nice. He took me to dinner, and we had a nice walk around the park..." You were telling the truth, well, partially. The date wasn't as nice as you made it seem. Emily squinted her eyes at you, "What aren't you telling us?"

Ah, there it is. The perks of having profilers as friends, you couldn't lie to them or hide anything without them knowing. It was like they had a sixth sense, and sometimes you wished they didn't.

"He kissed me, and I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed it," you stated as you leaned back in your chair, munching on a few pretzels. The date had gone smoothly, and you were having fun. There was good conversation, and your date was nice company, a good distraction. The problem came when he took you home and gave you a goodnight kiss. When you got inside your apartment, you felt sick.

"It was a bad kiss, wasn't it?" Penelope pouted as she swirled her straw around, "Oh, I think I know what it was. Did he have one of those piercings?" she asked, gesturing with her hands. "You know, the hoop kind? I remember making out with this guy a while ago, and he had one of those. Worst decision ever."

You stared at her, amused, as she shuddered, thinking of the kiss. Emily leaned forward and took your hand in hers, "Well, hey, at least it wasn't as bad as the time you called your date the wrong name?"

JJ nodded, grabbing some pretzels of her own, "Yeah, what'd you call them again?" You sighed, looking down as you muttered it. The women looked at you in confusion. They had no idea what you said.

"Can you speak up, hun? We didn't hear you," JJ asked, making you sigh again. You fiddled with your fingers as you spoke, embarrassed about what you were going to tell them, "I called them Spencer."

It was silent for a second before Penelope spoke, bringing a light air to the room as she always did, "Oh, honey. You're not over him, yet, are you?"

You chuckled sarcastically, running a hand down your face frustratedly. "No, Pen, I'm not. Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. I mean, no matter what I do, it's always him, always Spencer."

"Have you..." JJ paused, waiting for you to look at her, "Have you tried talking to Spence about it?"

You shook your head as you stood up from your chair, "I can't, Jayge, you know that." You could; you were just afraid. It took a while for you and Spencer to become friends again, not that you'd ever stopped, but someone falling out of love with can put a toll on your relationship with them.

"You can," Emily replied, voicing your thoughts. "I know it's hard-"

"Yeah, Em," you sighed as you paced back and forth, "it's really hard."

The three BAU agents felt for you. They didn't pity you, but they understood and sympathized with what you were going through. It's hard letting go of the people that you love, and they had all experienced that one way or another.

"We know, and all we're saying is for you think about it. The two of you are still friends, and I think it would be good for you to talk to about how you feel," the blonde said as she threw another pretzel in her mouth.

And you did, think about it. Which led you to where you were now - standing in front of a forest green painted door, decided whether or not you would knock.

Nope, not today. I'll just tell him that I got busy or something, you thought as you turned around, ready to leave. Fate wasn't in your favor because just as you were about to leave, the door opened, and the familiar smell of cinnamon wafted through the air.

"Are you leaving?" You could hear the hesitancy in Spencer's voice. Was he nervous? He shouldn't be. He's not the one who wants to talk about the past because he can't get over me.

"No, sorry. I thought I left my phone in the car," you said quickly, trying to cover up your blown cover. Spencer's eyes flitted down to your hand and raised an eyebrow, "It's in your hand."

You looked down, feigning surprise, "Right. My mind escapes me sometimes," you nervously laughed as you tapped the side of your head.

He eyed you suspiciously before widening his door, "Come in." You nodded and stepped in, Spencer closing the door behind you.

You took in your surroundings. It had been a while since you were last here, but everything was the same. Everything down to the books on the shelves and the photos on the wall was as it was before. The familiarity eased your nerves as you sat down on the couch while Spencer went to the kitchen.

Something caught your eye as you looked around the small apartment - it was a photo of the two of you. You had given it to Spencer as a gift one day. It was your favorite picture - the two of you were doing something crazy, and one of the team snapped it. You both looked so... happy. That was an emotion you hadn't felt in a while.

Spencer pulled you from your thoughts when he came back and handed you a cup. You took a sip and smiled softly, "You remembered." He made you hot chocolate, just the way you liked it.

"Of course, I did," he leaned back on the couch, crossing one leg over the other. "I do have an eidetic memory, you know." You did know, but you also knew that wasn't why he remembered. He remembered because, at one point, it was another one of the little things he noticed about you. You didn't like it too hot, warm but not too warm. And you only wanted a little sugar in it because the kind of hot cocoa you used had sweetener already added.

"So," you started, turning your body to face him. You were trying to give yourself enough confidence or courage to tell him how you felt. Honestly, you had no idea what you were going to say, but it was now or never. And you preferred the now.

"So," Spencer repeated, eyes twinkling as he mocked you. He had missed you, missed your presence, your touch. As much as he wished that night had never happened, he knew it was for the best.

"I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind lately," you fiddled with your fingers nervously, "Well, it's been on my mind for a long time."

Spencer perked up at this, straightening up as his honey brown eyes watched you. He noticed all your little ticks, things you did when you were upset or nervous. He assumed it was the latter. "Is everything okay?"

You shrugged as you looked down at the floor, "Ye- no. No, I don't think so." You could see him about to say something, so you held up a hand, making him close his mouth, "Just let me finish. Please?"

Once he nodded, you dived back in, decided that if you didn't do it now, then you would never do it. "I've been trying really hard, Spence, but for some reason, I just can't... let you go. And I miss you all the time. I miss listening to you ramble on and on about quantum theory. I miss waking up next to you and coming home to you. I just miss you so much."

He didn't say anything, so you continued, "No matter what I do, everything comes back to you. And it hurts. It hurts so bad because I know that I'll never get to have you the way I once did."

You looked up to Spencer as silence filled the room. It was like that night when he had said something you hadn't expected, and you didn't know what to say. Except, this time, you were the one who said something he wasn't expecting, and he didn't know what to say.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop your eyes from watering. He has to say something. I need him to say something.

"Spence..." you called out softly when he still hadn't said anything. You were growing nervous. Had you ruined everything? Way to go, Y/N. You screwed up. Your head was swarming with thoughts as you watched him walk the length of the living back, avoiding your eyes each time he turned your way.

You covered your face with your hand as you shook your head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even - god, what is wrong with me?" Tears prickled your eyes as a sick feeling filled your body. It hurt, and it wasn't because you weren't with him anymore. It was because you knew that now you'd never be with him in any capacity.

You rose your head, eyes filled with tears, when Spencer placed a hand on your shoulder. His hazel-colored eyes seemed to hold a cluster of emotions - sadness, regret, longing.

"I've missed you, too," his words came out in a hushed whisper, but you heard them loud and clear. He missed you. After all of this time, he missed you. You needed to hear it again, hear those words come out of his mouth one more time.

"Say it again." You sat up and locked eyes with him, "I need to hear you say it. I need to know that you've felt the same."

Spencer sighed softly as he grabbed your face in his hands, "I missed you, Y/N. I missed you so much. I've..." he paused, eyes searching yours to see if there was any hesitation - there wasn't. "I've had time to think, think about us, our relationship."

You nodded, prompting him to continue. "It wasn't that I never loved you. Because, believe me, I did. I just think that I fell out of love with you." Another stab to the heart. You tried not to let it show, but Spencer caught on the way your face dropped and how you looked away to avoid crying.

"But that doesn't mean that I haven't missed you. I've missed you a lot," he said quickly, attempting to correct his mistake. He hadn't meant for it to come out that way. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I'm just nervous."

"Why? Are you nervous to tell me that even though you missed me, we can't be together? Because if that's the case, then just tell me now." You couldn't just sit here and listen to Spencer explain why he stopped loving you. It was selfish, but you didn't want to hear it because you weren't sure if you had fallen out of love with him too.

Spencer frantically shook his head, "No. That wasn't what I wanted to say." You nodded your head slowly before meeting his gaze, "Then what do you mean?"                

"I'm not sure how or exactly when our love for each other starting waning, but all I know is that I've missed you." You had missed him too, but this didn't tell you what the fates had in store for you.

"So..." you looked up at him in confusion, "what do you want?"

He sighed before taking a step back as he shook his head, "I think..." his eyes met yours, "What if we started over?"

You raised an eyebrow, even more confused. What did this mean? Spencer must have caught on to your confusion because he was quick to explain his thinking, well, his introduction. "Hi, I'm Spencer."

You just stared at him, no expression on your face. What the hell is he talking about? Of course, I know he's Spencer. Is he... maybe he's confused. Yeah, that has to be it.

"I miss you, Y/N," he said, quietly, as he looked down, "If we start over, we can rebuild our relationship - from the beginning. I know it sounds crazy, but I don't want to lose you... not again."

"Maybe I can learn to love you again, and you can learn to strengthen our love for me? We could just start over." He paused, looking at the indecisive look on your face, "I'm sorry. This was stupid. I shouldn't have even-"

You were quick to cut him off, "Hi, I'm Y/N."

He let out a soft breath of air before sitting down next to you on the couch, a small smile on his face as he held out his right hand, "Spencer."

It was then, at that moment, that you felt the fates winding up a spool of thread. But this time, it was a new piece for the new chapter for both of you.

—

a/n: done! i hope you guys liked this, angst and all :)

#did I have to make this so angsty? #yes yes I did #my writing #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #dr reid #dr reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #cm x reader

[cordonian-literature]

Forever Mine

chapter six

❦ summary — The time for Princess Riley to step into her role as queen fast approaches and finding the future king is Cordonia’s top priority. Commander Liam is aware of that, and has plans to make sure the princess ends up with someone suitable.

➺ chapter warnings: smut, manipulation, slight degrading (??)

❦ catch up here!

➺ word count: (+/-) 2120

*all characters belong to Pixelberry, except those unique to my story*

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Walking to the Commander's office alone was a bad idea. Even worse considering that it was past midnight. But Riley couldn't help it; nor could she hear the voice in her head telling her to stop over the thundering in her ears.

Maybe she should have gone to Drake instead, or even Maxwell. Even Olivia would have helped.

She wears slippers and a gown, one that wasn't appropriate in case someone saw her. The lights of the guest bedrooms she passed were on, she could hear some maids and guards in the distance; there were too many chances of her getting caught, yet her feet still led her down the cold hallway.

Leo had sent her a text an hour ago, telling her that he finally came back from his day's activities and that their father was upset. She could walk to her father's office and say what she needed to tell Liam. Or she could even walk to Leo's room, her older brother wouldn't push her away, would he?

But her feet kept moving. She had put on the wrong shoes before leaving her room: she hadn't worn these in more than a year, and they were a size too small. The cold floor stung the heals of her foot every time she took a step. Riley longed for the warmth of the library fireplace, the softness of Liam's fingers, his gentle embrace.

But that wasn't what she was going to him for. Yes, she was lonely, and yes, she wanted some company, along with some validation that she had done a good job today, but she was going towards the Commander's office to complain about one of her suitors. Riley knew that out of all the people she'd tell about her grievance, Liam was the one who would take action.

She doubted that Leo wanted to help her with anything that had to do with the season, and she knew that her father would tell her to bear it and stop complaining. Drake and Olivia's intimidation tactics wouldn't work to drive away someone she didn't want around, and Maxwell's family was slowly losing significance, so he couldn't help either.

But Liam, Liam could. Riley knew. Out of all the people in her circle, he had the most power. He wasn't self-absorbed like her father, he didn't avoid responsibility like her brother, he isn't afraid of the spotlight like her. He'd be the one to take action.

Since before the season began, she had dreamed up hypothetical situations in which she, in a flurry of emotion, didn't wish to marry any of the men who presented themselves to her, and she would run to Liam to tell them to go away.

It would be perfect for both of them, wouldn't it? There wouldn't be another power-hungry man near Constantine trying to take Liam's position away from him, and there would be no one controlling Riley. It would be perfect for both of them.

The belief that Riley was doing the right thing, not only for herself but for Liam, too, gave her the confidence to open the door to his study.

Her eyes land on unruly hair that had been perfectly styled this morning, hunched over stacks of papers, pen in hand with ink staining his long fingers.

She didn't move from the entryway, forgetting that there was an open door behind her, listening to the pen scribbling away on paper. The Commander had missed the day's festivities and was still working? Riley couldn't imagine the stress he carried on his shoulders, visibly weighing him down.

"Commander?" she calls as quietly as she can.

He looks up at her, but she cannot make out his eyes from such a distance. She walks up to him slowly, remembering why she came. Tears form in her eyes from the frustration, though her voice is steady when she says, "I wish to talk to you about—"

"Princess, please," he soothes, standing up to brush tears from her eyes. He leans closer to her, and Riley shivers when she feels his breath on her cheek. "I'm busy right now, darling." Another shiver shakes her spine. "I'll meet you in the library in twenty minutes."

He sits back down and she is left staring at the top of his head again. Riley only moves when she hears footsteps from outside the room, prompting her to dash towards the library.

When she reaches the library, Riley makes sure that it is empty. She checks her phone and finds messages from her brother and Drake asking where she is. Her heart thunders in her chest, running wild with excitement that Liam will join her shortly. She doesn't want anyone interrupting them, so she tells Leo and Drake that she's reading a book in the library, and warns them not to bother her.

She takes a seat on a desk near the fireplace, thinking of how to introduce her complaint to Liam. How would he react to her words? Would he call her childish, think she overexaggerated or misunderstood? Would he laugh at her? She loved making Liam laugh but knew that if he ever laughed directly at her, she would cry in front of him.

And even though she doesn't want to show Liam any tears tonight, a dull sense of dread rises in Riley's chest and stops her breath. How much longer did she have to endure this? Why did she have to suffer through unsolicited comments, not only by the men and nobility who participated in the season but all the reporters who spoke to the world?

She wanted it to stop, it was too much. She felt disgusted with herself that she prefered to go back to the life where she didn't have to worry about anything; other people would do that for her. She wanted to go back to the sweet noble life.

The library door opens and she spins around. Liam's hair is still out of place, and his military coat unbuttoned. She can see the shirt that usually stretched under his muscles, now hanging untucked and lose from his slouch.

She doesn't want him to see her tear-stained face, so she wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his chest, pleasantly surprised by the smell of lime and jasmine.

His calloused fingers come to rest at her hips, and she can feel the depth of his voice in his chest as he says, "Tell me what happened."

"Lord Michael..."

She only manages to utter his name before he speaks up again, "Say no more, I'll get rid of him."

"Please don't do something rash."

"I won't, darling. I'll make sure he's gone by morning."

She feels his attempt to move away from her, but Riley wraps her arms tighter around him. "I missed you today," she states, without realizing the weight of her words.

Liam doesn't respond. He looks down at her, the scent of lavender shampoo filling his nostrils. His fingers tighten their grip. Riley gives a soft whimper but doesn't protest.

Should he let go? Leave and return to his office? Stay and comfort her? What type of comfort did she need? He was stressed enough as it is, but he didn't want to leave his darling alone.

"Come here," he says into her locks, leading her towards a reading chair. There was only one chair, and when he sits down she continues to stand, looking around for another seat.

Liam, lacing his fingers through her's, gives Riley's hand a gentle pull, motioning her to sit on his lap. He expected her to pull away, every voice in his head told her that she better do the proper thing and move away, go grab another chair.

But after a moment of hesitation, Riley sits between his knees, taking the time to wrap her legs and arms around Liam's back. She tucks her head into his neck and takes a deep breath, while Liam's breathing quickens.

"You had all those men around you," he reminds her, feeling her breath catch in her throat, "and you still missed me?"

He hears a soft hum in his ear and continues, "Cordonia's greedy little princess."

Riley's face heats up from those words, but she doesn't move. Nor does she stop the Commander from moving his hands below her gown or grinding his hips against hers.

Through all that, the princess slowly lifts her head to let her eyes meet Liam's. Their breaths getting faster as they stared into each other, trying to find an answer or queue.

Liam wanted her to pull away, while Riley, unsure of herself, wanted him to continue. She had no idea what she was doing, but her heart had never moved this fast or felt this warm, she never before had wanted a man to tell her that he loved her. So she let him continue.

With his hands on the underside of her thighs, Liam stands and walks her over to a desk, lifting her gown off of her as he places her down. Riley doesn't want the Commander to look at her body, so she gently pushes her lips against his.

Liam instantly regrets his decision, but she doesn't pull away so he continues.

Riley's insides burn with shame, but he doesn't scold her, so she moves to help him undress.

Pain and pleasure break through her as Liam tells her to lie on her back and greedily thrusts into her. She holds her hands against her mouth, forbidding any sounds to escape. Meanwhile, Liam's filthy words feed the pleasure and shame inside Riley.

He grabs her wrists and holds them over her head. She struggles to hold in moans and tears, wanting to scream from the way he was pushing into her with the intensity of a man who had long been deprived of sexual gratification.

Panic and fear build in her chest after a knock at the library door. Liam doesn't turn his head or slow his pace.

"Princess?" a voice comes from outside the door. Riley hopes that they cannot hear what's happening. "The royal secretary has been searching for you." Riley recognizes the voice, it was her handmaid, Maria.

"Princess Riley," the royal secretary speaks out. "Your father is requesting your presence. He understands that it is late, but the issue is urgent. Prince Leo told me you would be here."

Frantically, Riley turns to Liam and squirms, wanting to release her hands from his grip and push him off of her, but his fingers tighten around her wrists.

"Go on, princess," the hulking man prompted in a hushed, sultry tone. "Answer them."

"I... I'm okay!" she manages to belt out, just before his thrusts increased tenfold.

Riley felt blood on her tongue from how hard she bites down on it. She tries desperately not to release the hot flurry of moans that wanted to spill from her lips. The metallic taste flusters her more.

The pleasure Liam causes is enough to make her head spin. The way he curves toward her cervix, hitting a spot just near it with every pound, made her see stars. Riley fears that she may soon give away her and the Commander's compromising position if he didn't stop.

"Please," she sobs quietly, to which he responds with a dark chuckle in her ear.

Liam had been waiting so long for this. Why would he stop now, when he had her exactly where he wanted her since they had first met? She was enjoying him. She was accepting him.

"Does my little girl want to cum?" he taunts. "After teasing me like a little whore for years?"

It was what she needed that moment, but she was more concerned about the people outside the door entering and seeing her like this. She wanted the release. She wanted this. She wanted Liam, or at least in this moment, she believes she does.

Nevertheless, she didn't want anyone to witness her in such a vulnerable state beneath him. She didn't know what would happen. Worst of all, she didn't know what Liam's fate would be, once her father discovered his treachery.

"Ah... ah, the... d-door."

"Do it before they decide to check on you, because I won't stop.

And she believes him, because this isn't the sweet, caring man she knew. This is someone who wanted nothing more than to dominate her. This was someone who had been wanting to do this.

All those fleeting glances and touches, had they been precursors to this? But the thought was lost as he brought her to climax around him, and only then did Liam begin to worry about who was still at the door.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

a/n: okay y'all i've never written smut before and i know this is really bad so please don't judge. I told myself i would never write smut. but i had to do it for the plot🤌🏻 anyways i hope y'all enjoyed this lol

@twinkleallnight @gkittylove99 @sweatyrysconnoisseur @kingliam2019 @queenrileyrose @royalromancer @princess-geek @mom2000aggie @claireloutoo @tessa-liam @21-wishes @yourmajesty09

#royal romance fanfic #trr fanfic #trr liam x riley #trr drake x mc #the royal romance fan fic #the royal romance #trr #trr liam #trr liam x mc #trr drake #evil liam #tw smut

[missdawnandherdusk]

Pureblood!Slytherin x Draco Dating Headcanons:

Requested by the lovely @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo! Here you go, sweetie!!

As a pureblood, you grew up with Draco (Parties, gatherings, dreadful “playdates”). Everyone expected you to grow up and fall in love and you didn’t like Draco like that he was your best friend

And Merlin you two are dorky looking kids

You two start Hogwarts and you’re both in Slytherin and beaming because you’re with someone you know

okay but can you imagine going to Diagon Alley for the first time and getting wands together and books and everything else and just geeking out while you parents roll their eyes and sigh deeply

Draco has Crabbe and Goyle, and you have Pansy and Daphne and good lord you guys are terrifying to everyone else

You and your posse are a force to be reckoned with just like Draco and his posse but you’re not too keen on being ruthless (cue mean girls, you are the Regina George of Hogwarts)

Instead, you really give in to the tradition of being a proper lady you can hear your grandmother’s words in your head all the time. “Don’t slouch, stand up straight, elbows off the table, shoulders back head up, don’t be so loud, don’t walk so loudly, cross your ankles when you sit, punctuality is everything, that skirt is too short...” 

Which leads to a lot of people calling you princess as a taunt because you’re just so posh

And Merlin everyone at this school except for your fellow Slytherins is an imbecile with no class 

Even Draco who slips into foolish taunts and you just scoff and roll your eyes, not impressed. His smile falls because he misses you. You guys were once best friends and now it seems you’ve parted ways. So he tries to be a better person keyword: tries he loses all composure around Potter

Now he’s defensive. “I can outspell you any day, princess” He snaps. “Bring it, pretty boy” You draw your wand and he stops because he remembers the day you got the wand and how your eyes were shining and now he really misses you

And you miss him too. A lot. Pansy is constantly complaining that you need to go and talk to him but you were never good with words and you didn’t know if Draco wanted to talk to you.

All of your friends are screaming internally because you two just need to talk to each other is locking them in a closet together an option???

But instead, you taunt him, and he snarks back and now it's a competition and the whole school is frustrated and slightly scared because you and Draco are both very powerful and very mad at each other all the time and you do not want to get caught in the crossfire

“You can cast a Patronus?” “What like it’s hard?” Hello Elle Woods

Suddenly you’re not twelve anymore and neither is he and he looks a lot less dorky now... and have his eyes always been that blue? Have your lips always been the perfect shade of pink?

One day you’re snapping at Draco and it starts to turn into a Duel and everyone is just watching in shock and awe at you two going at each other

Somehow you end up inches away from in, nearly growling at another, and you see a glimpse of the little kid you used to know in his eyes 

and then you’re kissing him

a cheer goes up and Pansy yells “F*cking finally!” not that you care, you’re very distracted at the moment

Can you say couple goals? Also like can you imagine the sheer DBE between the three couples of you and Dray, Pansy and Daph, Theo and Blaise?

“Girls” night (that include you, Daph, and Blaise) with records and makeovers and “Blaise it’s not fair how do you get your eyeliner so perfect?” and talking trash about your significant others and telling embarrassing stories

“Guys” night (with Pans, Dray, and Theo) that are full of midnight Quidditch matches/flying and goofing off shenanigans and “Pans you have to tell me where you get your cologne”

Shopping trips together probably in Paris that are always over expensive and full of fashion advice from anyone and everyone. “No, Blaise you cannot wear navy and black, you’ll look like a bruise” “Draco put down the shiny cape” “Daph, we have to wear skirts, not ballgowns,” “Merlin Theo, those shoes with that shirt?” “Pansy you are not shaving your head stop thinking about it,” 

Going for dinner at fancy restaurants and having proper tea parties that end up with you all mocking your parents and its hysterical

Fifth-year comes and you can finally drop the uniform though you have to remind Daph that she can’t wear ballgowns everywhere but you’re allowed to wear dresses now hello fifties aesthetic and you and Draco look like you walked out of a catalog for Vouge

Can you imagine the Yule Ball? The utter prestige that your group radiates. You all know how to dance and you and Draco waltz across the floor that has girls jealous and guys wishing they could

But whenever you look at Draco you still see that dorky kid who knocked out his loose tooth with a handheld ornate mirror

The softer moments between the two of you where there aren’t expectations or tradition and you talk under the stars about dreams and wishes

He calls you princess now unironically. He’s still your pretty boy.

Behind every great man is no one. A great man knows a great woman stands next to him and is probably rolling her eyes at him 

You and Draco breaking harmless rules that still give you a thrill of rebellion: eating dessert before dinner, breaking curfew, walking barefoot outside, not ironing and folding your socks, not making your beds every morning, buying black nail polish, ruffling his coiffed hair at the end of the day and you see the same shining eyes as the boy you grew up with and stars do you love him

But you’re still posh together: horseback riding, playing the piano together, walking along the Manor grounds on Sunday strolls, hosting dinner parties, going to galas and balls, shmoozing just about everyone in the ministry, taking the dark mark together and having to go through that entire ordeal and realizing that maybe tradition on some things is wrong

Which causes a huge fight between you and Draco because you can’t get behind the Dark Lord anymore and he’s just so scared of anyone getting hurt because he doesn’t want to lose you. But in the end, he’s there with the right choice

The lot of you holding your heads high as you walk the halls of Hogwarts during and after the battle fighting for your true home and where your real family is

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#draco malfoy #draco #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x oc #draco x slytherin #slytherin #redeem draco malfoy #redeem slytherin #slytherin x slytherin #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x #hogwarts #harry potter #pansy parkinson #the silver trio #the dark mark #the dark lord #voldemort #draco lucius malfoy #lucius malfoy #narcissa malfoy #draco fluff #draco imagine #draco headcanons #draco angst #draco malfoy x slytherin #draco request #blaise zabini