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daegall · 3 years

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Habits

↳ where donghyuck develops habits after he meets you

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: frozen ice cream >:(

word count: 2.6k words

a/n: Hi! Okay i know he ending is literal shit, but please bare with me 😭 i will do better i swear! I have lots planned and if yall are patient, then it will come in no time (thats a lie :(( ) OKAY IM SORRY BYE

networks: @neoturtles

description: There are certain amounts of things you have done that affected Donghyuck, you changed his attitude, the way he sees things, he even likes Pizza because of you. But one of the things that stood out that you have done to him is make him adapt habits. Of course, you didn't force him to, it just appeared one day and Donghyuck didn't seem to mind them. So here are some things you he has grew onto him because of you.

Buying an extra cup of coffee

This particular habit grew on him before you two started dating, one morning when you sat sluggishly next to him in history class he couldn't help bur notice how dead and tired you looked.

The moment you trudge into the room, Donghyuck couldn’t help but wince at your tired face. Your eyes heavy and steps slowed as if there was a whole boulder in your bag. “Dude, you look like you have Mark’s schedule.”

God knows how you would deal with that packed of a schedule, you’d die. Mark Lee is really something else.

You begrudgingly flopped next to Donghyuck, sighing out a breath of exhaustion, "Goddam Mr. Kim had to give us a 5000 word essay on climate change," you groan, slapping your face lightly to try and wake up, "Who the fuck had the idea to invent plastic?"

Donghyuck only chuckles, grabbing his coffee cup from his bag, beginning to tale a swig. He stops halfway when he notices you banging your head continuously with the thick history book, sticking out his hand with the coffee in between your forehead and the hard book, just before you slam your head on it again. "Take a sip," he urges, lightly tapping it on your cheek.

You don't remember, but you think you grinned, because Donghyuck is laughing at your eagerness. "I'm taking a huge gulp!" You half tease, knowing you were actually gonna take about 3 of them. Donghyuck hisses, flicking the side of your hand momentarily, before sighing, "Just take the whole thing."

You did so gratefully, even if Donghyuck thought you were gonna give it back. After that, he would pay attention to your responses to his texts, seeing wether you're in a good mood or not.

If you reply with an 'okay bob, pick me up in 20' then there's no need to buy an extra cup, if you reply with quite a dry text he's bringing one just in case and giving it to Mark if you don't need it. However if you're responding with swear words and angry emojis it's time to rush and get that coffee you need.

It became like this for a while, that is, until exams started. He noticed how moody and tired you got, constantly buying coffee without even having to see or ask. But now that you're a lot busier he's picking you up and giving you coffee and a grilled cheese, having a donut for himself.

Ever since then you two would just spend breakfast in the car, talking while eating and maybe even getting up earlier to just chill in the school parking lot to eat before class started, but only if you two are feeling extra energized.

This is a habit he realizes he has, and he actually likes because it reminds him of how he asked you to become his girlfriend in his car one time when you went to the school parking lot at 5 in the morning. That's a hour and a half earlier than you usually go to, and you two watched as the sun raised in the trunk of his car.

At that time, you decided to get grocery store ice cream tubs instead, you had a sudden crave that Donghyuck agreed to. You got a bit of ice cream at the corner of your lip, and Donghyuck decided that was the perfect opportunity to pull a clique little ' "you got a little bit there" and then proceeds to kiss you.' Yeah you failed your Math test that day because you were so distracted.

Your coffee felt warm in your hands, but the cold early morning wind nipped at your skin at the same time, urging you to take a sip from the paper cup once again. The only thing warm besides the hot coffee in your hand was Donghyuck, who sat close next to you to produce some warmth. Which was dumb because you had ice cream waiting to be devoured handing in a plastic bag in front of the semi-broken air conditioning to stay cool.

Donghyuck glanced behund him to see how the ice cream was doing, sighing when he sees no changes in the ice cream, the AC must’ve broken already. “Hey, ice cream’s melting, better eat it now before you have to drink it from a plastic bag.” He nudges at your thigh.

You nod, hopping off the trunk to go get the ice cream. Quickly stealing ut from the driver’s seat, you hurry back to Donghyuck for warmth, handing him his own ice cream. “Thanks,” he takes the cold treat from your hand, opening the cap open and sticking his spoon into the tub. He had a napoleon flavored tub of ice cream, while you got Rocky Road.

Though the AC of Donghyuck’s car was broken and some of the ice cream melted, the closer you get to the middle the more you realize it’s still frozen. “Damn dude, that’s a whole glacier.” Donghyck commented, eating a spoon of his own ice cream. You suddenly stop trying to destroy the frozen block of ice, “Yo have you heard how David Attenborough says glacier?”

“...what?”

“Dude we’re gonna watch ‘our planet’ later on today, I can’t believe you haven’t heard him say glacier!” You say as you stab your spoon into your ice cream, successfully breaking the bug block of ice. You scoop a big spoonful and shove it messily in your mouth, slurping when some dripped down your lips.

Donghyuck pursed his lips at the sight of the sticky treat stucking to the corner of your lips, putting his tub down, “You got a little bit there,” he points to yor mouth. Eyes widening, you blinly search for the ice cream around your mouth. Donghyuck stops you from wiping your mouth with your sleeve, taking it to his lap.

You’re about to protest, when Donghyuck catches your words in his lips. It takes you a few moments, but you kiss back, tasted the slight strawberry ice cream that stuck to his lips and tongue, and you’ve never loved how it tasted as much as this. He quickly pulled away, licking he remains of your ice cream off his lips.

“The fuck was that?”

“I really like you.”

————————————————————————————————————————

Waiting for you to dry his hair

This habit came about one night when he came put the shower in shorts and a big t-shirt, his towel plopped lazily on his hair. He came back home from working out with Renjun, and he subconsciously layed down on the couch right next to you.

He shoved his wet hair with the towel on your lap, and you being you, you stared to dry it for him. At that time Donghyuck felt great, it was like you were some kind of human form of a hairdryer.

Donghyuck plopped doen next to you in the couch, water dripping onto the couch. You purse your lips, looking up to Donghyuck’s wet hair, “You gonna dry it?” Your boyfriend nods, patting the green towel on top of his head. You laugh when observing the towel, it’s the one you giften to him for his 18th birthday. There was a small frog peeking out at the corner and Donghyuck adored it.

The boy sighs, suddenly resting his head on your thighs. You assume he wants you to do it, so you gently start tot rub the top of his head with the material. Donghyuck peeks one eye open in surprise, humming im delight when you start to run your fingers through his damp hair. You grin at his reaction, bringing the towel uo to dry the ends of his hair.

You carefully dance your palms against his cheeks, making sure you don’t press too hard. Donghyuck turns his head to the side, placing a peck onto the pad of your thumb, as a gesture of thanks, you guess, and you kiss his cheek in return.

It’s evenings like this he longs, just calming moments with each other before all the stress comes and drowns you two. Just the most simple gestures warms his heart and awakens the knowledge that everything is going to be alright.

You continue your work peacefully, soon massaging his scalp and fluffing his hair up. Donghyuck let’s out a breath of relief, burying his head to your stomach. The material of the sweater you use is somehow so comforting, almost lulling him to sleep.

You run your hands through his head one more time, before grabbing the frog towel and ruffle his hair softly, “There we go, all nice and fluffy.” You mumble, fiddling with the short hairs on the nape of his neck. Donghyuck looks back up at you, a little smile soon appearing on his lips. He reaches up, pecking you shortly, before completely falling asleep on your lap.

Since then Donghyuck has always waited for you to come find him with damp hair and the frog towel, innocently asking you to dry it. Unbeknownst to him, you absolutely adore drying and taking care of his hair, it showed that he trusted you enough to let you do whatever you wanted. And plus, his hair was just really soft and you love playing with it.

There was this one time you came back home after a long day of hanging out with your friends and as soon as you opened the door Donghyuck attacted you with hugs and shoving his wet hair into your neck, inviting you to come in and dry it for him. As much as it was a habit, he likes to say it’s a silent agreement, which you agreed to as well.

————————————————————————————————————————

Going out with comfortable clothes

When it comes to Donghyuck, he used to want to go out looking extravagant and show stopping, with style that wpuld have everyone staring at him, but after hanging out with you countless of times, he soon chose to wear sweaters and sandals when going out with you.

The first time he went out in comfortable clothes he felt more confident, which he thought was really strange because if you look better you should feel better as well, right?

“Hyuck have you seen my-“ You walk into Donghyuck’s room, surprised to see him wearing skinny jeans and a leather jacket, your cheeks slowly heating up. “Seen what, babe?” He asked, adjusting the collar of his jacket. He turns in confusion when you don’t reply, eyes widening when he notices you’re only in leggings and one of his hoodies.

“What?” Donghyuck asks, tilting his head at your flustered form. You snap out of your daze, meeting Donghyuck’s eyes, “H-huh? Oh- no- uh you just seem really dressed, I mean we’re going grocery shopping, right?” Hyuck nods, shrugging, “Yeah, that’s why I’m all dressed up... do I not look good?”

You shake your head, and point a finger at him, “No, you look really good. It’s just- what’s better than feeling confident comfortably? And besides, you’re already hot! What’s more boyfriend material than the classic hoodie and sweats?” You reassure, patting Donghyuck’s cheeks.

The young adult smirks, reaching out to catch the swinging hoodie drawstrings on his hoodie you wore, “Should we match then? Wearing my hoodies?” You look down and recognize the piece of clothing as in fact, Donghyuck’s, sheepishly looking up and mumbling a small apology.

That afternoon Donghyuck didn’t think abour how he looked, he didn’t care what people thought, he was confident comfortably next to you, he felt like he was the luckiest person in the world just because he had you to reassure him and hype him up.

After that, whenever he goes out, whether it’s with you or with his friends, he goes out in comfort and not quality, why would he want to attract attention when he has endless amounts right at home where you were?

In the beginning that was the reason, but after some time being comfortable brought out his true personalities and he became so much happier. He was often self conscious and insecure, but his friends and family, including you, were always there to stop him from doubting himself. And now he feels carefree and unbothered to the worlds opinions, which made all his loved ones proud.

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Good morning and good night kisses

This habit developed after you craved a good morning kiss one day, which made Donghyuck completely melt and give you multiple morning, afternoon, evening, and night kisses. It was just one whole day with Hyuck’s lips either in yours or your skin. Very blissful and has to be your favorite part of the day.

When you wake up, the first thing you see is Hyuck’s bare and beautiful sunkissed face, and you couldn’t be happier to wake up to this. He seems to be scrolling through twitter, one arm thrown under your head. Your arms looping around his waist informed him that you were awake, and he smiled at you dearly.

You lift it, so then he can retract his arm comfortably, but instead Donghyuck bends his elbow and drags you closer. You smile and stay right there, savoring the moment as it is rare, Donghyuck usually has to go to work really early in the morning.

Nothing could be more perfect for you, his smiling face, the peaceful morning, warm atmosphere, it just couldn’t get any better than this. But there was one thing you really wanted to try with Donghyuck.

You pucker your lips out dramatically to him, which grazes his cheek and jaw, “Good morning kiss,” you mumble through pulled lips. Your boyfriend laughs at the sight, throwing his head back into the headboard. You stop puckering yor lips, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, “What?”

“You’re absolutely adoreable!” Donghyuck cooed, squishing your face with his hands. You grimace once he doesn’t give you a kiss, turning around turning away from him pettily. Your boyfriend laughs at your disappointment, climbing over your body and flopping to the other side, “Hello,” he mumbles right into your face.

You grumble back a greeting, closing your eyes and pushing your face into the pillow in hopes to make Hyuck feel guilty. It obviously doesn’t work, because a smile is itching to pull your lips up when he glides his finger’s up your shirt to tickle your sides. You stifle in a scream of giddiness, and grab Donghyuck’s hands, and then fail as his fingers graze your stomach.

“HYUCK! OKAY PLEASE HYUCK STOPPPP!” You are now pushing Donghyuck’s shoulders away from your body, but keep going down to your body to shield it, you don’t know what to do, push or defend. In the end you only laugh and giggle, screaming Donghyuck’s name.

He eases down the tickling when he sees tears streaming down your pulled cheeks, his own smile shining. You stop laughing, your cheekbones sore frim all the smiling, and yet you still muster a small smile to Donghyuck. He aoftens and melts when you start to play and run your fingers through his hair, leaning into your touch.

“So are you gonna give me that kiss or not?” You ask quietly. Hyuck smiles and lowers his head to lean his forehead oto yours, “Only if I get to give you afternoon, evening, and night kisses as well.” And with a lift of your head your morning wish is granted, and a bad sleep schedule for Hyuck is born.

That kiss changed his routine completely, wasting arohnd a total of an hour just for kissing you. Which actually resulted into a really bad sleep schedule that even you comolain about, but despite loosing sleep, it’s worth stealing a lot more kisses from you, and he’s a lot happier.

#neoturtles #lee donghyuck fluff #lee haechan #lee donghyuck imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #lee donghyuck #nct 127 #nct 2020

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dilfwaynes · 3 years

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hi!! can i request a hc of the batfam reaction of their eastasian!reader gf experiencing racism? thank you <33

just a reminder if you took place in any involvement of asian hate block me rn bitch :)

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this anon, i tried to make it accurate without stepping over any boundaries since im not asian myself. if anyone finds any sort of this offensive pls dm me !!

warning ; racism, batfam beating hoes, mention of blood

parings : bruce wayne x asian!reader, jason tood x asian!reader, dick grayson x asian!reader, stephanie brown x asian!reader, tim drake x asian!reader, damian wayne x asian!reader

BRUCE WAYNE:

it’ll honestly take a minute for bruce to realize what happened

when first entering the store he took notice of the man glaring but brushed it off thinking it was directed towards him as bruce wayne

you however didnt really pay attention to the dirty looks being thrown at you

with bruce excusing himself to the restroom and makes a promise of a quick return, you wander around the area by yourself

it was all fine until a man approaches you, giving a fast glance at him before turning away. there was definitely something up with him

“you don’t belong here”

your head shot up at his words, looking around you to make sure he was talking to you

“excuse me?” you lift an eyebrow at him, knowing what he was hinting at

“you fucking heard me, you don’t belong here. go back to your country.”

you inch away as he steps closer,”you better back the fuck away..”

he simply gives a smug face only coming closer,”or what?” you tighten your jaw when he loosely lets out a slur, your fists clenched.

“or i dislocate your arm.”bruce’s voice rings out, deep in anger as his eyes flicker to you and scanning to see if you were ok physically.

the ugly bitch’s face pales when he realizes who’s your boyfriend. without hesitation bruce yanks him away from you, slamming him to the wall

demanding for a first and last name, squeezing his neck when the guy stays quiet

shaking he gives in and tells, flinching when bruce slams him against the wall one last time before dropping him

“i guaranteed whatever poor status you do contain i’ll tear it completely, say goodbye to your job.” he grabs for your hand and brings you into him as you both walk away.

“i’m sorry i shouldn’t have left you alone, my fault,”he presses a kiss to your temple.”and please don’t think any worth of that garbage’s words.”

you shake your head,”he was just some lowlife, not worth thinking about.” you reply leaning into him.

he looked at you and could tell no matter what those words still hurt somewhat and it angered him to no end

no one deserved to hear that disgusting shit, especially not his girlfriend.

his eyes hardens but doesn’t push further to make you anymore uncomfortable than you probably already are

giving another kiss to the side of your head he makes a quiet promise to himself not to leave you alone anymore in public with disgusting people like that around

jason todd:

as soon as the slur leaves the guy’s lips jason’s fist collides to his jaw, no doubt shattering it

you and jason were grabbing lunch at some restaurant slash bar since it was the first time in a few days jason was free

everything was okay until you got up to go to the bathroom and some guy bumped into you

jason watched with hardening eyes as you apologize instead of the guy who slammed into you

“watch where the fuck you’re going at.”

you fall shock at the word, staying in place

while jason is on his feet in no time, swinging to the asshole’s face

screams were heard as well as the sound of bones breaking from his fist impact, the guy stumbling to the floor

“you racist fucking prick that’s my girlfriend you ugly fuck,”lifting him by his shirt he grabs his face and turns him to you.”apologize to her before i break your fucking face.”

he quickly rambles apologizes, crying in fear or pain. most likely a mix of both

jaaon lets him go and gives him another punch, this time to the nose. finding satisfaction at the pool of blood now seeping out

jason grabs your hand and starts to lead you outside,”let’s go eat somewhere else and forget about this shithole.”

you barely had time to give a reaction to anything as everything happened so fast

“hey look at me, don’t listen to that worthless fuck and his fucked up mindset. i dont know what to say to comfort you since i never experienced anything like this.” he stops at the car, placing his hands onto your shoulders

you nod sighing lightly, you only wanted a simple lunch with your boyfriend but instead got hate crime for simply breathing.

“it’s nothing i haven’t gone through before,”he shakes his head blue eyes filling up with rage.

“no one’s gonna be doing that anymore, or at least getting away with it while i’m around

DICK GRAYSON:

he was completely taken by surmise at the slur being thrown at you, as well as the fault of you being the root of the covid 19

but before he had any time to react you were already on your feet glaring,”the fuck you just called me you piece shit.”

before he could reply you already kneed him and punched him between the eyes, dick laughing at the cries of pain

“you want me to take over or you wanna handle it babe?”

even how badly he wanted to beat the shit out of the pos the choice was yours

you denied and wanted to handle this on your own

but everytime the guy tried to get up dick would just shake his head and tell him to stay down, or simply push him back down

eventually if you start going too far richards would pull you away and tell you hes not worth it

he understands your anger but he doesn’t want you to past a line you won’t recover from bc of some worthless grime

“c’mon, he’s not worth anymore of our time. lets go eat pizza.”

DAMIAN WAYNE:

swing first talk later

he’ll just look at guy for a few seconds with a blank face

then he’s literally knocking them out

will probably kick him into the wall or ground

u dont know if you wanna pull him away because you already the tabloids, or if you wanna let him continue to beating the guy

damian probably wouldn’t realize how much he beat the guy to a pulp until you’re tugging him away

nudging his neck with to your nose to try and calm him down

he’ll end the fight with spitting on him tbh

your face reddens with anger when your eyes met the racist bitch, enjoying the view of his blood on the floor

“racist piece of shit,” he hisses before finally turning his back brow still frowning with anger

unlike the others (mentioned) he also knows and experienced racism and understands your point view way more

and know bow to comfort you better tbh

afterwards he’ll talk to you and comfort you, as well as opening up about his racist encounters, as well as his mothers.

if you’re still upset about what happened some hours later he 100% offers to beat up the guy again

you laugh it off cos hes serious about doing detective work, finding the guy and beating him to a pulp

you thank him but deny his offer and settle to confiding into him and just telling him how your feelings

STEPHANIE BROWN:

“are you fucking serious right now bitch?”

steph deadpans staring at the girl who called you the slur with ease, going on about how you were the cause of corona and to go back to your country

shocked at the words, hearing all of this before but it still doesn’t fail everytime you hear them

turning to you and seeing the hurt on your face from the word, she quickly turns to seeing red

without a second thought she grabs the collar of the woman’s shirt

“you’re gonna fucking apologize to my girlfriend right now or i’m gonna slam your face into the floor and break it

you stay still, pleased at watching the girl shake in fear under steph as she chokes out a mesh of a shit rushed apologizes

stephanie throws her down to the ground after her third apologize

“are you okay?” she knew you weren’t but asking the question would lead into the stage of comforting you

you nod but go on to tell her that this isn’t the first or last time this will happen, but it still never fails to shock you

she frowns at your experiences and doesn’t quite know what to do to help since she never went thru anything like that

she offers to take you to your favorite restaurant and end the day in wayne manor watching whatever you wanted

smiling when you accept, pulling you in her and pressing a kiss on-top of your head

“dont worry i’ll beat any jackass that pulls any racist shit.”

TIM DRAKE:

i think he’ll be the less violent one out of everyone

he would honestly be so disgusted and gross out at humanity and how the woman thinks shes superior just because she’s white

if it was a guy saying what was said, then he would probably hit them ngl

but he takes the higher road with the woman, belittling and ending her with his vocabulary

and you’re pretty sure that his words hurt her more than an actual punch would

you laugh when he compares her built to a buffalo

he then goes on to a more education lean, explaining how skin tone has nothing to do with a person, and she should adapt to modern times and stop being a racist cunt

after he ends it he goes on to find out who she is and email/call her workplace to inform what kind of employee they have

probably also goes on to make sure she wont be hired anywhere else

comforts you alot and and will get you anything you want

prob gets you both milkshakes as you vent to him about today and other racist things said to you

hates how you have to go thru any of this for simply existing

the incident opens his eyes and he starts talking to bruce about opening a charity for ‘stop asian hate’

would shy away from the press and say you both came up with the fund

u’ll dismiss that rq and tell everyone it was all tim’s idea

all the money goes people got assaulted and paying for any hospital bills or anything needed

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tings-and-stuff · 3 years

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Welcome to ‘JKR, a transphobic history,’ that was spurred on by me getting word of the HBO max HP spin off.

The Introduction

Joanne Rowling, know best as the author of the esteemed Harry Potter series came out as a transphobe and TERF (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist) on December 19 2019.

(https://inmagazine.ca/2020/06/j-k-rowlings-history-of-transphobia/)

‘Dress how you please,” she tweeted to her 14.6 million followers, responding to an issue regarding Maya Foster, a woman who got fired due to her vocal opposition to trans rights on Twitter, “Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real?”

(https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ellievhall/jk-rowling-transgender-women-maya-forstater )

The Continuation

“I grew up as a trans child reading your books as an escape.” One replying tweet detailed, “I would often pick out names from characters to give to myself before I ever felt comfortable in who I was. This decision, to support people that hate me and want to do me harm. It brings me to tears... Why? Why?”

As you might’ve assumed, the Maya Foster support tweet didn't go down very well. Suddenly, JK Rowling, once beloved children’s book author, was facing the backlash of her actions.

Disappearing from Twitter for a good few months altogether, many people thought that would be the end of her then tentatively labelled transphobia. Perhaps she was misinformed, some people thought. Perhaps she didn't know what was going on.

Unfortunately yet unsurprisingly, this was not the case. On the 6th of June, JKR came back to Twitter, once again back to her transphobic tweets.

‘People who menstruate’ she tweeted, mocking trans people, ‘im sure there used to be a word for that. Someone help me out. Wumbend? Wimpund? Woomund?’

Going on to give her opinion of a more equal post covid world for ‘people who menstruate’ JK unabashedly posted said tweet, either unthinking or uncaring of the undoubted backlash.

Unsurprisingly, more and more people were now more sure of her actions and started to call her out for her transphobic views.

“That's interesting,” was one popular Twitter reply “because I have endometriosis and an IUD in place to treat it, and therefore, I no longer menstruate. I haven't had a menstrual cycle since early high school, and I'm 21. I guess I'm not a woman anymore? :/”

Doubling down on her stance, JKR continued on her childish and transphobic tirade. Her response to the criticism? Read it for yourself.

“If sex isn’t real, there’s no same-sex attraction.” she responded on June 10th 2020, showing off her very ‘legitimate’ biology and gender study qualifications “If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives. It isn’t hate to speak the truth.”

Meanwhile, she posted an article on her website, detailing why she spoke out on sex and gender issues. The 4000-word anti-trans article in question gave a persuasive yet somewhat comedic argument on her TERF views. It was persuasive, but it also sent people to wonder about her qualifications to talk on this subject. Because she had none.

Instead of the unmoving support from colleagues and esteemed members of society she no doubt expected, she got a rush of criticism not only from fans but also from well-known news sources, including but not limited to Vogue, BBC news, and NBC news.

Even from her crew of colleagues, she was criticized. One notable response was from Emma Watson, a renowned feminist as well as the actor who played Hermione in the original Warner Bros Movies.

“Trans people are who they say they are and deserve to live their lives without being constantly questioned or told they aren’t who they say they are.” She tweeted on the same day.

The Supportive Response

As aforementioned, many people rushed to criticize JKR, but many others didn't, choosing to instead tweet their support.

Replying to the same tweets that stripped away human rights, teenagers, preteens, and adults were sending messages of support.

“Thank you for everything you do! You are my heroine” One supporter replied.

Many people followed the Terf positive train of thought, either replying to criticism on JKR’s behalf or simply being ignorant.

So many fans agreed with JKR that they sparked the passing of an Anti-Trans Law in the UK.

Even in America, the consequences of her tweets are obvious in politics. Most noticeably, during the vote for the LGBTQ equality act, a senator quoted Joanne before casting his vote to try and block the bill.

The consequences of her transphobic tweet-manifesto are seen everywhere; in children blindly taking on her views, anti-trans communities being donated thousands upon thousands of dollars, and LGBTQ+ positive bills being blocked all around the world.

Miscellaneous and Unproven

Spiralling off from Twitter, many of her ex-fans started to notice transphobic and anti-LGBTQ opinions in her works. For one, the alias that she used for her mystery novels.

Notorious for her meticulous naming decisions JKR chose Robert Galbraith as the aforementioned alias. Robert Galbraith, a real man, was best known as the man who fried gay peoples brains, spent his life researching and participating in many endeavours involving the human mind. One of these endeavours? Electro LGBTQ conversion therapy. He legitimately fried brains in hopes they would turn people who identified as LGBTQ ‘normal’.

While JKR having chosen this name on purpose has been denied, it seems too much of a coincidence, especially taking into account the plot twist of one of the aforementioned mystery books, where the male serial killer had been dressing as a woman to disguise his intentions. ‘Never trust a man who looks like a woman’, she implied quite heavily.

The Conclusion

As we reach the end of this post, you may be thinking, what can you do about this? Assuming you’re not a political leader, in which case what are you doing on tumblr reading this, there is one main thing you can do, stop funding her.

Though her stance in society is a firm source of power, so is her money. Stop watching officially licensed Harry Potter films, spin offs, merch, and don't buy her books. That money you’re spending is going to the stripping of human rights.

In the end, every person can make a difference.

#jk rowling #harry potter #transphobes #fuck terfs #anti jkr #jkr is trash #Harry Potter spin off #please boycott Harry Potter stuff #jkr can suck my ass #let me know if anything is inaccurate #cause I might’ve missed some shit

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storiesungaa · 3 years

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mobile rules & information

Since people don’t read rules all the way through i would like to preface this by saying: TRIGGERING MATERIAL WILL BE WRITTEN HERE. THIS INCLUDES BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO: INCEST, DUBCON, SUICIDAL IDEALATIONS, CHEATING, AND ANYTHING ELSE I WANT TO WRITE. BY CLICKING FOLLOW, YOU AGREE TO BLACKLIST THE TAGS PROVIDED IN THE FORM OF (trigger here) tw. DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOU THINK FICTION EQUALS REALITY OR IN ANYWAY HAS ANY REFLECTION ON A MUN’S MORAL STANDING.

HATE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND ANY ANON’S I GET ABOUT THIS THAT IS HATE WILL BE BLOCKED/NOT AT ALL ACKNOWLEDGED.

THANK YOU.

about: this is an indie mutuals only rp blog for a multimuse with various fandoms from tv shows, movies, anime, and video games. mun is 25+, genderfluid lesbian, goes by he/him pronouns (but i am genderfluid so i don’t mind she/her pronouns, most just call me he/him) online and name Jay. Previously known as Ares and Snow.

Callout culture: Do not involve me in this. Period. I want no part of it and will block as soon as I see it, tagged or not. I believe it does more harm than good and something like tha is extremely harmful..

content: there will be some pretty heavy material featured here. such as suicidal thoughts, mentions of rape, incest, and anything else I want to write. I will not tolerate hate being sent to me about this and I will block anyone who tries to police me. The only hard limit i have and absolutely refuse to write is pedophilia.

Don’t ever be afraid to ask me to tag something!

side note: if you believe fiction equals reality, please don’t follow me.

discord: is open to those who follow me. simply ask for it. i do not write on discord though. ooc contact is highly encouraged!

disclaimer: i'm in no way affiliated with any of the actors, fandoms, or characters on this blog. Banners, promos, and icons belong to me. Theme was made by inkfated. all screencaps used to turn into icons on this blog are not mine and belong to their rightful owners. Lara Croft screencaps come from soulcluster. tsunade icons belong to hellspath. rectangle tsunade icons belong to me. Some psds are not mine. Credit to iconholic for Red Velvet psd. Credit to plutocommissions for psd 183 - wild. some psds used are made by rivercraze

Drama: There won’t be any. I’m too old for tumblr’s drama, if you try to start something, make me choose, or drag me into drama - you will be blocked.

DNI’s will get you blocked. I don’t agree with making people choose between people when there are things like blacklist and tumblr’s own filtering system to help you avoid a person

Hate: Character hate, show hate, etc will get you unfollowed. I don’t have time for that negativity, pls tag it so I can filter it out, thank you.

IMs: pls refrain from sending me multiple messages all at once as I’m autistic and it sends me into sensory overloads!!

follow/unfollowing: i usually follow back pretty quick. if i don't follow within a week, i'm probably not going to follow back. 9/10 i do follow back. i will not follow if i see vaguing, callouts, or any sort of drama on blogs. i also will not follow any under the age of 18.

if i’ve been following you for a month and you don’t interact with me within that time limit, I’m unfollowing. I won’t soft block because I’m totally okay with people still following me but I don’t see the point in following if we’re not gonna write.

If I do not follow you back, do not message me asking to write or become mutuals - you will be blocked.

If I block you, do not come to me asking why. It will only get you blocked all over again. Do not ask why i’ve unfollowed you, either.

DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOU’RE A MINOR.

side note: if you’re the type to blindly believe a callout because that’s what everyone else is doing save yourself the trouble and don’t follow me.

Memes: Send as many as you want for as many muses as you want just be sure to specify muse or they’ll get deleted! Always feel free to turn meme answers into threads, too.

Do not use me as a meme resource. Send something in or reblog from the source, please.

note: if you send memes multiple times and there’s clearly a way to continue them, ESPECIALLY if we’ve never interacted before, and you keep sending memes but have NO INTENTIONS on replying to them, I will be less likely to respond to them. memes, in my eyes, are used as alternatives to starters. if you don’t respond to them after i’ve responded to quite a few, that’s me putting work into it for no reason really, so yeah.

My triggers: Sharks. That’s it. Just tag pictures of sharks for me please

nsfw: smut will be present here. i can not play the dominant party in smut, please don't ask me too. if you don't feel comfortable with it, we can fade to black, easy peasy. i won't make myself uncomfortable for some smut. All muses involved in smut or ships are 18+. If you think that aging them up is pedophila, do me a favor and get off my blog. Smut may happen with aged up characters but that does not mean it was done specifically for smut. Do not assume.

OCS: I love them. Send them my way, please!

OOC: I post ooc, sometimes quite a bit, sometimes rarely. I am human and I will act as such. I will not tag ooc posts mostly bc i’ll forget. Sorry if that bugs people but like i said, I’m human and I like to write things down and share things with the dash.

OOC note: please do not flirt with me or ask me to date you, thank you!

Shipping: all muses are LGBT+ in some shape or form so if you want to ship, just let me know. They’re pretty open to anyone, though gay and lesbian muses will stay gay and lesbian. I ship toxic pairings and incest so if that’s your cup of tea, just lemme know, and we can work something out if not? That’s alright too!!

As previously stated, all ships and smut scenes are involved with characters 18+. I will never under any circumstance write something with underage characters. Characters, however, can be aged up but are never simply just for the sake of smut. Smut may happen with aged up characters but that does not mean it was done specifically for smut. Do not assume.

wait time: sometimes i can take months, sometimes seconds, sometimes days. I’m not a fast rper, please respect this.

writing: i generally prefer writing multi-para or novella. one-liners or one-paragraphs usually end up getting dropped or made into much longer threads as i have absolutely no chill.

edit: from now on any drafts that are below three paras will be deleted, i don’t have muse for short things.

End note: Do me a favor and like this post if you’ve read my rules. Not needed but deeply appreciated. Also below you’ll find important links:

MUSES & NAVIGATION & MUSE INTEREST CHECKER & SHIP INTEREST CHECKER & COMMISSIONS INFORMATION & MOBILE MUSE LIST & THREAD TRACKER

#mobile rules

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simpsiren · 3 years

Text

the hopeless romantic;

mark lee x reader

Mark Lee is your guy. He’s the sweetest man alive, extremely kind to everyone he gets into contact with. With his signature laugh, what’s there to not like? He’s bubbly, bright, a ball of sunshine. He’s probably happiness itself. However, perhaps his joy had some cons to them. Like being the one that had always tried to see the bright side of every mishap when he knew it too well that there’s just nothing good to be seen in some things. Or the fact that he wants to simply be seen as the one happy person with zero worries for the world whatsoever.

genre. angst, emotional, broken lovers, fluff

word count. 12.8k~ (shorter than expected vjdhsis)

a/n. im so sorry if the story is fast paced or it isn’t long enough i was running out of time and i was busy with school for the whole week i barely had free time. i really wanted to meet the release date so i highly doubt this is up to standards :(

description. eshajōri— the idea about the impermanence of all things, that every human relationship will end some day due to the transient nature of life

That’s what I thought. That the world had to continue spinning. That’s just how life is. I slowly fell out of love in my relationship with Mark. He’s everything I ever wanted, but it just seemed to end up that way. I was wrong to think he’s just another phase in my life, one that comes and goes, never to meet me again. When in reality, he became something much, much more. Memories tainted, love was lost. Yet, Mark took me down a journey that helped me remind myself why I fell in love in the first place and find feelings that I thought were long gone.

!as they should masterlist!

It was late into the night. The stars above shined brightly over the blank dark canvas. I couldn’t keep my head down from it, simply straining my neck by looking upwards to the sky as I thought over about what to say to Mark. A lot of things went through my mind while I made my way to his band room. The good, the bad. I sent myself on an emotional roller coaster ride. I’ve waited long enough, I kept telling myself. I’ve been holding out for far too long. I’ve been building it all up for this day.

I went into the building, now dimly lit with an orange hue from the one lamp at the front desk. I made my way to the fifth floor, absentmindedly taking the stairs so that I could drag out time for just a little while longer. I took wary steps, perhaps my legs started wobbling as I inched closer to the room down the hallway. I stood in front of the door, knowing Mark was on the other side. Though I was sure of doing this, I began to wonder if it was the right thing. If I should simply brush it off. Did I care about my feelings more... or Mark’s?

“I need to do what I have to do.” I muttered under my breath as I grabbed the door handle, cold to the touch and pushing it down to open the door. It creaked loudly, just like how it always had every time I came here. I looked around, spotting Mark in the corner with his guitar. I guess he chose to play the acoustic one today, his head tilted down to the point where only the top part of his fluffy hair was visible. His fingers carefully placed on the strings as he strummed a few chords and hummed with happily.

Mark looked up at me upon my arrival, though I’ve been standing at the doorframe for quite some time, and it was only now did he notice my presence. “Baby!” He shriek, placing the guitar he had on his lap on the stand and making a beeline over to me. Mark pulled me into a hug, to which I responded with a hug back. Feel something, please. Why aren’t you feeling anything with Mark’s arms around you?

Mark pulled away, a happy giggle leaving his lips. He held my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine as he walked me over to where he sat at. He motioned me to sit on the stool next to him with a jark of his chin. Our hands were still held together, my eyes trailing from them and to Mark’s face.

I looked at his hair, the one I never failed to touch the moment I see him, but not today. His eyes that meant so much to me, ones that never failed to look into mine with nothing but joy. His lips that formed the most perfect smile that lit up my world, never failing to let out his beautiful voice, when he sang or when he talked, or when he expressed his love for songwriting each time he talked to me about the many songs he wrote. To top it off, his signature laugh, one that came out from him and him only. No one did it like Mark.

“Why did you call to meet me here? Did you want to accompany me while I practiced?” I realised that Mark was talking and I came zinging back to attention. I pursed my lips into a thin line, a small smile forming after. “Where’s the rest of the Dreamies?” I questioned back, again wanting to put off the time I had to say what I wanted to. Mark galnced to the door before looking back at me. “They already left. I would have gone home but you texted me so.” Mark bobbed his shoulders as a way to finish his sentence.

I hummed softly in response. I exhaled, a little too loudly to the point where Mark raised a questioning brow at me and asked again, “So what are you here for?” I closed my eyes, mentally preparing myself as I bat them open to lock eyes with Mark. “I need to talk to you about something.” I could already feel my voice wanting to crack and break, my eyes already preparing its tears for when it’s time to let them out. Regardless, I kept my calm composure for Mark to see.

“We’ve known each other for seven years, got together for five.” I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to resume though I wanted to simply stop there and scrap this whole thing off like it was nothing. “Aren’t you... Tired of it? Tired of me?” I wanted to continue without hearing Mark’s reply. I couldn’t bear to hear his voice. Yet, he lets out, “What? Of course not. I’m never tired of you.”

I shut my eyes hard, shaking my head as I looked down. “No, you don’t get it Mark Lee. See, that’s the thing. You’re never tired of me. You’re never tired of our relationship. Not once did you have any doubts about us.” I breathed a painful chuckle, having to run a hand down my face and taking a deep breath. I met his eyes again for a brief moment. I could tell they were scared. It was filled with fear and anxiety, already anticipating on what I wanted to say.

“I’m not feeling the love between us anymore, Mark Lee.” I finally let out. Mark’s bright smile faltered to small frown at first, and eventually grew into nothing. He had an emotionless expression on, one that I tried to mentally pull apart piece by piece to find his true emotion, but to no avail. Of course I had my guesses though. “And it’s not because of anything bad. It’s just...” I kept a pause, wanting to see how I could phrase it in the most gentlest way possible, but I realised there was no other way to say it than, “You’re just too kind, Mark. You’ve always been kind. We’ve never even fought once in our five year relationship. I guess... I got bored of it.”

Mark wasn’t saying a single thing, simply staring at me as if wanting to tell me, “Let it all out before it’s my turn to fire back.” And so be it. I continued. “Echajōri.” I said out of the blue. “I looked it up. It’s when no human relationship would last due to the simple nature of life. That’s what I think this is. It’s just how it works. That’s just how the world wants us to be. Who knows, you’re probably just a phase in my life.”

“I love you, Mark. You’re perfect in all ways. Me falling out of love was probably nature’s doing. If the world continues to spin, and the world’s forces want us to meet again, then we shall. We’ll know it’s fate. But for now...” I released Mark’s hand from mine, only noticing now how tightly he was holding on while I got lost trying to spill it all out. Mark let his hand loose so that I could slide it away.

I pushed myself off the stool, adjusting my purse. I walked back to the door, eyes closed with shallow breaths. Hesitantly, I placed my hand on the door handle. I turned around one last time, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to form my sentence. “D-Do you... have nothing to say?” I asked, voice clearly breaking as I was at the point of collapsing. Mark avoided my gaze, blinking his eyes rapidly as if wanting to hold back his tears. He sniffled, turning his head elsewhere before going back to me, his eyes too scared to meet mine.

“If that’s how you want it. Then so be it.” I widened my eyes ever so slightly, the cold and harsh tone of his words firing back at me. His face was kept soft and tender but his words rolled hard on his tongue, sharply slicing the sliver of confidence I had left in me. “Goodbye, Mark Lee.” I croaked out, not even botjering to sound fine as I left and exited the room.

Like a snap of the fingers, I fell hard onto the floor, preventing myself from making a loud thud as I did so. I covered my mouth, scrunching myself up into a ball as I cried hard, head dipped down and too scared to face the world. I wanted to scream, knock my head against the wall and say, “You’re the meanest person alive. Fuck you for hurting Mark.” That was all I could think about. I didn’t want to stay here long. I couldn’t bear to be in any close of a proximity to Mark after what I just did.

I made my way out of the building. There’s no coming back for me. Thus is a terrifying feeling. It’s the feeling of something turning, of coming to a corner and going around it and seeing that the street ahead is dark and deserted filled with wild dogs but you cant go back only forward into the middle of the pack. I had to wipe my face constantly to get rid of the dried up tears on my cheeks and the snot that blocked my nose, yet it never seemed to stop. Not while I walked back home, and when I was at home. I cried into the night till I fell asleep in despair, my muffled cries being the last thing I hear for the rough night.

“Mark, open the damn door!” The banging on Mark’s door had been going on since the breaking dawn of the morning. The sun was disgustingly shining over Mark’s face as the sun began to rise and make its way up into the sky. Mark covered his eyes with his forearm in an attempt to block the sunlight. His world was falling apart as each second passed by. He had no energy for anything. Though the world was still spinning, he wasn’t. He wanted it all to pause. Everything going by too fast and he simply wanted to slow down.

However, he slowly grew annoyed at the fact that his friends had been sitting outside his apartment for hours now. He forced himself out of bed with an annoyed groan, ruffling his greasy hair and taking dragged steps to the door, finally opening it.

Haechan was standing right in front of him, almost falling from the sudden open of the door. Behind him was the rest of Mark’s only friends, his band members. Haechan huffed, folding his arms and placing his weight on one leg. “Let us through.” Haechan abruptly pushed Mark away, bursting in Mark’s place unannounced like how they sometimes did. The rest came in, eyes glancing to Mark for a moment. He made eye contact with each of them, and he knew they all had that look of concern that Mark had no desire to see.

Either way, he let them in, closing the door behind him and wanting to make his way straight to the couch to lay back down, only to realise all his friends had occupied it fully. “We need to have a serious talk.” Mark wished they didn’t bring it up. Mark wished that he didn’t have to go through this, the inevitable situation of being interrogated. “Serious? Wonder what.” Mark echoed dryly, making his way to the kitchen.

“You know what we mean! You haven’t been to practices for so long.” Mark heard Renjun’s voice whining as he opened the fridge, taking the slice of watermelon on instinct. He shut the fridge, taking long lazy strides back to the living room. “And?” Plopping himself down next to the group, the sound of Chenle cursing under his breath being unintentionally loud. “And? That’s it?! Mark you-” Chenle sounded as if he was out to choke Mark dead, but he was trying to think of what to say. Mark took a bite of his watermelon.

“You kept making excuses and purposely skipping.” Chenle added on through gritted teeth. Mark had his head hung low the whole time, taking small yet quick bits like a rabbit. Jaemin, being the one closest to him, cleared his throat. “It’s obvious, you know? We’ve been your friends long enough to know that something’s wrong.” Jaemin’s comforting tone rang through Mark’s ears. He was getting an earful, but thankfully Jaemin was there to soothe it down

“Mark, please. Say something. We’re worried.” Finally, Mark lifted his head up at his best friend’s voice, Jeno. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” Mark whispered, but loud enough for them to hear. He reached his hand out to grab a tissue and wrap it around the finish watermelon, placing it on the table. He dragged his knees close to his chest and hugged himself into a ball like he always had since that day. “We would have accepted that excuse back then but you know it’s not working this time.” Jisung, the youngest spoke up.

“How long has it been? Since I became like this?” Mark asked, he genuinely wanted to know since he had lost track of time. “Four whole months.” Mark chuckled weakly with the few of them answering in unison. Mark ran a hand through his hair, the greasiness from not washing it didn’t actually bothered Mark till now.

“Four months had passed. Do you guys think four months is enough to get me back on my feet after I’ve broken up from a five year relationship?”

Mark’s question made everyone sat there, frozen and still. Their faces turning blank and speechless. Haechan tried to open his mouth, but it only ended up quivering at the thought that he didn’t know what to mention at all. Mark glazed his eyes over his friends. He knew they couldn’t help him. He dugged himself this hole of despair, and he wasn’t able to get out. Those four months, Mark had tried to find ways to get back to her, he questioned himself on what he did wrong, what he could do to piece it all back together. But of course, with the sadness sliding in, Mark had no hope left in his body.

“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Chenle’s voice became soft and gentle, not like before when he was rigid and pissed at his friend for not coming to the many practices he purposely skipped. Mark took in a deep breath. He’s been practicing. Not breaking down the moment it was time to talk about it. He promised himself he won’t break down, making himself look like a mess.

“She said she fell out of love. She said it wasn’t a bad thing, though I don’t see how it’s good either. She basically said that our relationship had been too happy, too perfect, I guess?” Mark had to take a second. Oh no, the tears were welling up in his eyes. On instinct, Jeno went down from the couch to hug Mark tight. And at his touch, Mark let his body loose, crying hard into his friend’s hoodie.

“She began to get bored of me, Jeno!” Mark croaked out, as if the rest were not looking at the two on the floor with worrisome and hesitation, not sure if they should comfort Mark as well, or simply sit there. Sometimes it was best to not interfere. This is one of those instances.

“She literally said that it’s just the way of life. That it was natural for her to lose feelings for me. That that’s just how the world works. But I don’t get it! I’ve been trying to find the good out of this, but I can’t. I fucking can’t!” Mark shook his head vigorously, hands clutching tight on Jeno’s hoodie while he dug his head into Jeno’s chest more and practically poured his heart out.

“Um... Can I say something?” Everyone paused in there movements, including Mark as their heads slowly turned to Jisung who had his body leaned back into the couch, a shaky and uncertain hand raised. The rest raised a brow in a shocking manner, but also curious as to what the youngest had to say on this. “What?” Mark asked, barely audible and recognisable.

“Alright well, see. Maybe I could understand from her point of view.” Jisung looked at the others for confirmation to keep going, only to be met with disgusted faces that said, “How could you?!” “Can’t you see Mark’s crying here?!” As if Jisung could clearly hear it, he placed both hands up in defence mode. “Listen! In a five year relationship, don’t you guys agree that it’ll get boring? You’re being together with someone for so long, how can anyone not get tired of it?”

“I didn’t.” “Well most people do, Mark.”

Jisung lowered his voice as he spoke. “And if you want the relationship to last long, it needs to be exciting, it needs to feel fresh and new no matter how long it’s been. Don’t you guys get it? Perhaps, from what I know, Mark has always been bright and perfect. Imagine not having a fight or some sort of argument for five years. It’s not always good for a relationship to suffer from no problems that would affect the relationship. All relationship has to have its flaws, or else it’ll feel unreal. Perhaps she felt that it was unrealistic.”

The silence that had already filled the room from the beginning was now falling deeper upon the youngest’s wise words. It was practically pin drop silence now, with only Mark’s shallow breathing and sniffles to be heard. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Exhaling loudly, he said, “Then what can I do? If she’s lost feelings for me, I don’t see another way...” Mark realised how deep he was into this. How Jisung made him realise that it was true. He’s been nothing but happy towards her that they’ve never had a single argument or anything. He understood what she meant by her words that resonated in his mind while Jisung talked.

Renjun slammed his hands on the table, palm faced down while looking to Mark. “Then show her how you two were at the beginning of the relationship!” Renjun exclaimed, as if he had the most brilliant idea. The room was suddenly lit. The atmosphere changed as everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Everyone turned to Mark, who leaned back from the sudden lift of atmosphere.

“Exactly! Show her why she fell in love with you in the first place!” Jaemin shouted as well. Mark was suddenly bombarded with everyone screaming and giving chants of encouragement. Meanwhile, Jeno was looking at him with the softest smile, both him and Mark shaking their heads at everyone’s outrageous behaviour.

“We’ll help you.” Jeno whispered, a firm and assuring hand on Mark’s shoulder. Mark had never asked them for help, ever. No matter what he suffered, he suffered it alone, wanting to be seem as the person who could handle whatever’s been thrown at him himself. But with a problem like this that made him fall so deep into the loophole, he knew from the get-go that he could trust his friends. No second thought needed.

I worked at a bookstore. As cliché as that sounded, I liked working there. You get free books whenever there’s unwanted stock, you didn’t have to work much, simply arranging the books and being the cashier. I only had one other person who worked with me here, which was Jaehyun.

In a small bookstore with books handpicked by the owner herself, it wouldn’t be the most popular bookstore around. Hence, why it’s always a breeze to work here, not having to deal with a whole bunch of customers. “Should we get lunch?” Jaehyun asked after coming out from the back, patting his apron which I never knew why he wore in the first place. I smiled softly. “There’s no one to watch the store but us.” I reminded him, placing the last book I had in my arms on the shelf and making sure it fits snug in between the rest of the books.

Jaehyun hummed, nodding his head thoughtfully. “Looks like we’re ordering take out from the restaurant right down the street.” Jaehyun taunted, leaning his face forward jokingly while taking out his phone. “I’d be too lazy to go anyways. I’m tired.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Mentally or physically?” I didn’t even take me a second to plainly reply with, “Both.” I walked up to the counter where Jaehyun sat at, his head tilted down to his phone. I sat on the opposite side, letting my arms fall and hit the wood. “Why are you tired?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. I blinked my eyes, trying to formulate answer which ended up being, “What do you mean?” Which was not even a proper answer in the first place.

“Why are you mentally tired?” Jaehyun’s voice grew low and soft while it became serious. I knew right then and there what he was implying. He had always been hinting on me about it. I knew he noticed my change in behaviour, and wanted to know why. As much as I wanted to tell him, my answer to that had always been the same. “Just... things.” I lied through my teeth, the answer being too vague and suspicious. It only got Jaehyun to shake his head.

“I know something happened, come on. You can never hide your feelings.” Jaehyun said firmly. We both knew it was a fact. Something I’ve struggled with all my life, which meant that as much as I wanted to keep it to myself, I had to let it out sooner or later with the invisible pressure I have always gotten from my surroundings. “Do... Do you remember the night when I went to your house and got drunk?” Jaehyun looked up with thought before replying with a hum.

I bit my lower lip, silence circulating the air for a brief moment. “You literally came unannounced and you never told me why either since you were already drunk when you came.” Jaehyun recalled softly, he turned his phone to me, motioning to pick something to eat. While I scrolled through the options, I exhaled sharply. “Well um... a few days before that, I did something. Terrible.” My chest puffed up and down, I couldn’t tell what Jaehyun’s expression was, but I knew from the silencd again that he knew I was beating around the bush.

Jaehyun suddenly snatched his phone away from me. I gaped my mouth open. “Hey I wasn’t done-” “Tell me what’s wrong.” Jaehyun demanded, eyes piercing into mine. I frowned, slowly pointing down to the phone. “If you can just help me press the burger-”

“_____, please!” Jaehyun half-shouted. I instantly grew quiet, intimidated by his sudden shout. He took in a deep breath before continuing. “Four months. You aren’t like how you were before. I know I’ve never questioned you straight up. And I can feel how much you’re trying to hide it. Are you dumb to think you can do that with me?” Jaehyun leaned back from his hunched over position to fold his arms.

“What am I suppose to say? The fact that I broke up with my boyfriend of five years? That I hurt his feelings for the sake of mine? That even though he’s been nothing but good to me I made the damn decision to break his heart for my own good?!” I retorted back, voice escalating with each sentence. I pinched my temples, hot air suddenly rising to my head. That sudden burst that came out of me also resurfaced emotions that I wanted to keep underground, away from my heart and mind. But it was all now out in the open, and I couldn’t simply ignore it any longer.

“There, I said it. And I don’t think I can ever get rid of the guilt from that night four months ago.” My voice lowered itself till I became inaudible. I closed my eyes for a moment to allow myself to calm down. I wanted to cry it all out again, just like I did that night. But i’ve shed far too many tears till I simply couldn’t cry anymore, only having to deal with the weight of my heart that sunk due to these feelings, feelings that blocked my lungs from letting me breathe fresh air.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” Jaehyun whispered, his angry expression growing into a look of sympathy. “That’s the face I don’t want to see. The damn look of pity of the people I tell this to. That’s why I didn’t want to say anything in the first place.” I let out, swallowing whatever feelings I had and making sure its kept deep in my heart again.

Jaehyun kept silent, and the air around us suddenly grew thick, suffocating me as unsaid words floated around. I cleared my throat to break the thin ice of silence. “I told myself that he’s just another phase in my life. No matter how long we’ve been together. He meant a lot to me... but whatever that happened has happened. I can’t change the past, so I’ll move on from it, one way or another.” I said, directing it to myself and not exactly to Jaehyun.

“You didn’t have to do it alone.” Jaehyun whispered, his eyes lifted up from the counter and to me. He locked his gaze to me, our eye contact never breaking. I felt the sincerity, care through his look. “I know you aren’t over it. So if you need anyone, just come to me. I’ll be anything you need me to be. I’m always here.”

I got home one night from a day out with Jaehyun. I was tired to the core, eyes barely half opened as I kicked my shoes off and went straight for my room, dropping my sling back at the door and plopping myself down on my bed, letting my body sink into sheets. I got comfortable, hugging my soft toys. Just when I wanted to close my eyes and drift off, my phone rang.

I flinched at the ringing, the vibrating on my hand only making me groan. I picked it up. The lockscreen glaring the only name I never wanted to see. “Did I not delete his number?” I muttered to myself in a weak voice, trying to recall if I ever did. But I soon remembered that the time I “got rid off all traces of Mark” was when I got drunk. I got to know that I never did anything regarding that.

I stared at the screen, the ringing still ongoing and Mark’s name glaring at me widely and boldly. I would have done everything I could to get it out of my sight. But something in me made me press the pick-up botton at the bottom with a shaky thumb filled with fear and uncertainty. I slowly brought my phone up to my ear, not letting out a word.

There was silence for a moment, which turned into a long moment. I suddenly heard shuffling, like someone’s moving in there seat. The phone’s been moved. A sudden shallow breathing that was most probably Mark’s. “You picked up... I’m surprised.” The moment I heard Mark’s voice, my heart shattered into millions of pieces. His voice, still sweet as ever, sounded as if he was talking to the most fragile being on earth.

“Why-” “You don’t have to say anything. I’m actually not feeling good right now.”

A little more inspection on the tone of his voice got me to realise that he was drunk. Did he call me while drinking? I could hear him coughing away from the speaker on the other end. I got worried, wanting to make sure he was fine. “Did you drink?” I asked bluntly. Mark chuckled softly, the sound sending shivers down my spine. It felt unreal, suddenly having him talk to me after all these months. But perhaps it was, the probability of him forgetting he ever contacted me was there.

“I have a song... I wrote. It’s not about you. I mean... it might be. Is it?” Mark giggled carelessly. “Do you want to hear it?” I could tell Mark’s throat was dry, coarse, like he’s been drinking for hours. I knew him well enough to recognise the slightest changes. Before I could ever answer, the shuffling came back again, and after awhile, a strum of a guitar was heard. “When the sun and moon pass over my head. I try to move on, try to move on.” My lips quievered tremendously, wanting my lips to part and voice out, “Please don’t sing. You’re hurting me.” But I couldn’t. No sound left my lips. I was rendered speechless.

“Even though the world we created is already messed up. I am still stuck here, broken.” Mark voice rang through my ears. I placed my hand to my head, scrunching up my hair as I balled my hand into a fist, anger and frustration, but also sadness and despair began rising up. All feelings I tried so hard within these months to get rid of, coming back at me, full blow, at two fold. “Mark...” He continued singing regardless.

“How do I miss you baby? How can I still be missing you like this? I know I should move on. I know I should go on. How do I love again? Just come back to me.” I broke down harder with each word, my other hand dropping the phone to cover my mouth as tight as possible while I cried and screamed, everything muffled and hidden. Everything was crashing over my heart. It grew heavy to the point where I couldn’t carry myself properly no longer.

I couldn’t be facing another day like this. I’ve tried so hard to get over Mark, try to forget the guilt of leaving the most sweetest person in my life. I regretted it every single day, I still do. But I continued, carried on, moved on with life. But having him show up suddenly, his voice, oh so sweet, a song he’s singing for me.

Days went on. I could never get the song out of my head. Mark’s voice made me envision him, at his house, guitar on his lap. He sang with his whole heart, true to him and his feelings. I couldn’t bear it. It kept resonating in my head. I even began humming it and eventually singing it, but broke down each time. The action was so instantaneous, something I did without any second thought. I kept unknowingly driving myself into having a breakdown each time I did that.

“You’re making it so hard for me to move on, Mark Lee. Why did you have to be this kind of person? Why can’t you just hate me? I’m fucking regretting it every single second of my life. Why can’t you just help me relief the pain by hating me? Forgetting me whole? Why can’t you do that?” I cried out. All I wanted was to grab a glass of water, now sitting on the cold kitchen floor with the empty glass on the counter. The melody crept into my mind again, a monster eating me up. My heart ached as I began singing again, voice cracking and words indescribable and barely audible for anyone to hear.

The very next day, I was met with darkness. Not quite since a small slice of light in between the curtains shined through, but at least it wasn’t blaring and blinding right at my eyes. I called Jaehyun, agreeing that he’d pick me up to get breakfast before we got into work. I was simply getting ready, half an hour passing by when the doorbell rang. I raised a brow in question. “What’s Jaehyun doing here?” I asked to myself, looking down to my phone to see the text messages he sent. He shouldn’t be here for another ten minutes.

I quickly tied my hair in a messy low bun and ran for the door, opening it instantly since I thought jt was the mailman. It wasn’t. Who stood in front of me would’ve made me drop to my feet, but I couldn’t. Instead, my feet were rooted to the ground. It was Mark.

He stared at me, and I stared back. He was piercing his soft gaze at me as if turning me to stone. I felt weird. One look and it felt like time hasn’t passed by at all. It was as if he’s looking right into my heart and soul through my eyes. I took this moment to eye him slowly. He had a change of hair colour, subtle but noticeable, from black to a silverish-purple type of colour. I noticed how he wore his gold round glasses, ones that I knew he’d wear every morning. His style? Hasn’t changed either. Nothing about him has changed.

“Mark?” I questioned, though I knew it was him right in front of me. My phone suddenly rang, making me jump in my spot out of shock. I huffed, looking down and realising it was Jaehyun. I froze for a moment, my eyes trailing from the screen and to Mark, who had both his hands in the pocket of his black blue jeans, standing upright. He jerked his head down to the phone. “Answer it.” Mark simply said. I gulped nervously and frantically picked up the call.

“Jaehyun um. You’re here already?” My eyes couldn’t stop flickering from the surroundings and to Mark, going back and forth, making fidgeting movements as I talked to Jaehyun. “Um actually you don’t have to pick me up. Tell Misses Lee that I’m not coming today. Something... happened.” I glanced to Mark. He still had that expressionless look on his face. Again, out of anxiety, I let out answers that sounded too vague. Of course Jaehyun had to ask, “What? Are you okay? Do you need me to go up?” To which I responded with, “No! No,no um... Something came up. Just get going.”

I instantly ended the call, dropping my hand loose and letting the grip my fingers around my phone go loose. “Explain yourself, please.” I whispered, shaking my head. “W-What are you doing here?” My voice got shaky quick the more he’s eyes darted at me, as if I was the only thing in the focus of his vision. Mark inhaled, chest puffing up. “Do you have time to go out?”

My brows knitted together, not sure of where this was going. I came up with whatever possible reason for him to ask such a question so suddenly. I bit my lower lip, smacking my lips after and shaking my head again. “Why?” Mark thinned his lips, glancing sideways and rocking his body back and forth, switching from his toes to heels, like a little kid. “Am I allowed to take you somewhere?”

I wrapped my arms around my body, my head tilting back down to my feet. I thought long and hard, should I go or should I not? What would happen if I do? What if I don’t? Would I abandon all the hardwork I’ve tried to get over him, only to have it crumble down with his presence and the day I’ll be spending with him if I agreed? Or will I regret again and have it add on to my already huge mountain pile of guilt?

Such questions wrapped around my mind, getting itself comfortable as if telling me, “Looks like we’ll be here for awhile.” I shook my head vigorously as if clearing slate. “You good?” Mark questioned in a gentle voice. I snapped my head up so hard I probably gave myself whiplash. Mind still foggy from the many thoughts, I simply replied. “Let’s go.” without a second to think it over.

“No going back.” The same thing I told myself when I came into the band room to finish it off with Mark. Now, I watched as Mark flashed his smile. Though it was the same smile that always made me flash a smile back, this time it sent another unknown feeling, a bad one. I was now craving for the feeling I’d get when I saw his smile. I didn’t like that something else was settling on my heart while I looked at his lips curving upwards, lips becoming thin.

Mark swirled around and walked, his leaned posture and relaxed shoulders almost made him look like he sauntered down the hallway. I watched his back, he still had much style with his graphic tee. He looked as flawless no matter what angle. His head turned, for a brief second he glanced at me over his shoulder as he lifted his glasses up the bridge of his nose easily and turned his head back to the front. I mentally let out a disappointing groan to myself. “Why...”

We got out of my building, the journey silent as ever, though there wasn’t a hint of awkwardness as I simply followed behind him. I saw his motorbike parked right at the entrance. My eyes flickered from the bike and to Mark, who was already taking out a helmet from the back. He handed it to me with a slight lift.

I took a moment to look at it. A small frown forming on my face. My sight went down to our small signatures engraved at the side, my name and his in a calligraphy font with a heart next to it. I gulped, biting my lip as the more I stared at it. The more it took me back to my memories. “I got you that when I first got my motorbike.” Mark whispered. He probably noticed how I was staring into blank space at it. I cleared my throat. “Yeah.” was the only thing I could let out, quickly wearing it on and waiting for Mark to get on before I did.

The engine started and I thought we were about to go. But we didn’t. Mark turned his head around, his helmet shield lifted up so that I could see his face. “You aren’t holding on?” Mark asked with a raise of his brows. I let out a soft “Um...” It wasnt because I didn’t know where to place them. It was the fact that I was too afraid to do so. Mark still had his eyes on me. I glanced back for a moment before ever so slowly wrapping my arms around his waist, interlocking my fingers together to make sure I was secured.

Mark simply chuckled lightly, a tone I wouldn’t expect from a situation that should have felt awkward, but it felt all to familiar. Mark faced front again and I was finally able to breathe normally after suffocating myself with his stares that have done so many things to me. Then and now. I didn’t know where he was taking me. Though I was clueless, I only had Mark to trust. And after awhile, the streets began to look familiar. The buildings and the place came into view, and I knew instantly where we were going.

“Why would you take me here?” It felt like a repeat, one mere scene from the past of our many adventures. This one however, held a little more significance than the rest. “Do you want to spend the day here?” I turned to Mark, who was already looking at me. I blinked my eyes rapidly, breathing out a quick chuckle. “You brought me here so how am I suppose to answer that. And you didn’t answer me first.” I breathed in, taking in the sight before us.

The large patch of grass spreaded out, the trees that surrounded it had its leaves and branches sway in the calm wind of the day. It gave a clear view of the sky, a mix of white and blue, the air that blowed on me like a light kiss. As expected, there wasn’t anyone here. It was just us, us and the world. No one ever came here, and so it became our own place. A place we owned all to ourselves.

“What are we going to do? It’s already lunch too...” I whispered, glancing down at my phone to check the time. I began to wonder what Jaehyun was doing, how he was coping with the fact that I suddenly ditched work today and have him work alone for the first time. “You know the drill, don’t you?” I retrieved my eyes back from the scenery and to him. I gukped hard. “Of course I do.” I turned around sharply and walked forward to the small café beside the area that housed the best desserts any place could offer.

“Oh, Mark Lee!” The old woman shouted with glee when she shot her head up at the sound of the bell ringing above the door, and upon seeing Mark in her view, her face instantly lit up with a smile, the wrinkles around her eyes showing as they formed a thin line. She didn’t hesitate to get out from behind the counter to give Mark a big warm hug like you’d give to your grandson, chuckling happily as she did so.

“How many years has it been?!” She finally released Mark out of her embrace when he kept hitting her back in a signal that she was suffocating him. Mark laughed at her excitement. “Mm two years, I think?” I knew he was just guessing and letting out a random number. “I see you’re back too, dear.” She turned her attention to me, which got me out of my observant nature to quickly flash a polite smile. “Good afternoon, Misses Jae.”

Misses Jae, the old woman who had been working at the café ever since Mark and I began coming here. She has yet to retire after all these years. And if anyone would have seen Mark and I’s relationship grow, it was her. She had always been at the sidelines, obviously spying on us and we pretended we never knew. She never caught on to us knowing about her watchful eyes either. We did stop coming a few years back when Mark began getting busy with his band career. Having her still be here felt like a breath of freah air.

“Would you like the original, loves?” She questioned bubbly, skipping to the back of the counter as she began to whip up our order that we haven’t exactly asked for. Mark and I turned our heads to each other in unison, exchanging a soft smile as the two of us had the same thought of Misses Jae. “How do you still remember what we ate? Aren’t you old already?” Mark asked, the joking tone flowed with his words followed by a giggle.

I mentally frowned, watching Mark and Misses Jae conversed. They were radiating nothing but brightness and purity, like two angels having their daily old chatters. How could things not change? It was only their age, but their personality never did. No matter how long, I’d still think they could have this kind of conversation. I brought myself back to reality from Mark appeared in front of me with the picnic basket. “Let’s go?” He questioned. I downshifted my head in response and walked away, turning back to wave a hand at Misses Jae as she cheefully bid us goodbye as well.

“Are we getting ice cream after this?” I questioned. Mark looked down to me, almost having a look of amusement plastered on his face. My eyebrows formed a V at his weird reaction. “What?” I faked my exasperation through my tone. Mark shook his head while it tilted down, cracking a soft smile. I let time froze for a moment. That simple gesture of his, anyone could do it. But his had always been natural, natural yet perfect in its state. Time went back to normal, not allowing me to sink in his looks any further. “Nothing.” Mark simply said, the walk back to the field was quiet and peaceful.

As the day went by and we ate our lunch, everything felt normal. Everything was neutral, like we were just having a regular date out. Like no strings between us have been pulled. Mark was able to keep up a conversation. And though there were pockets of silence, I was able to tolerate it. And now, as we leaned back with one hand supporting our bodies while the other held our ice cream cones, we stared off into the sky as we watch it slowly turn into pink and the burning orange sun started to brush the horizon.

“You have yet to answer why you took me here.” I reminded Mark yet again. I turned my attention to Mark. His dewy skin was covered with the shade of orange reflected from the sky. His silver-purple hair capturing all the light, like it was all shining on him, circling him like he was the only thing worthy in this world. He looked effortlessly breathtaking, his side profile being my focus while he had his eyes on the sunset.

“I have a request.” Mark breathed out, he still had his eyes on the sky that was now slowly turning into a shade of violet. “Request...?” I echoed back, letting my skepticism shine through my words. Mark glanced down, ruffling his head with his hand while taking a bite of the ice cream cone at the same time. A moment went by when he was chewing. And when he swallowed and was ready to talk again, he said, “I offer you three days. Three stops.” “For what?”

“For you to make a decision on whether you want us to start over.”

My mouth couldn’t help itself but hang open ever so slightly. Blinking twice, I took in his words, wondering, “What is he even on about?” When it came to things like these, anything that needed me to not know what was going on, Mark’s creativity knew no limits and zero boundaries. Who knows what was running through his pretty mind? “This being the first stop.”

“Are you taking me on some kind of journey?” I carelessly let out without giving much thought. To my surprise however, Mark nodded his head firmly, his head slowlh tilting down to meet my gaze. “It’s a journey back in time, a journey down our memory lane. Feelings you thought were long gone, we can go search for it again.” His whisper got lower, softened with each word as sincerity was imbued nicely in between.

At that moment, I felt an electric shock being sent throughout my whole body. And it was all Mark’s doing. From his looks, to his stare, whatever he did today. I didn’t take me long to realise that I was feeling new, like we were just getting started. When he went away for that night and we parted ways, I went empty too, like all of me just flooded out and disappeared.

Mark texted to free up my weekends, which meant that I’d still have to go for work. With the day before still vividly etched into my mind, I came to the bookstore unfocused and in a daze, absentmindedly bringing myself back to that day and having the sudden urge to replay it over and over. Of course my weird behaviour has yet again struck Jaehyun’s instincts of suspicion.

“Why didn’t you go to work yesterday?” Jaehyun asked, wanting to sound casual but I could hear his interrogation tone underneath and ready to come out after I answered. I took in a deep breath, lips thinned. “I went out... with my boyfriend.” My answer caused Jaehyun to lean back a little almost in shock, but he kept his cool regardless. “Wait. The one you broke up with?” He closed his eyes for a moment as if recalling the day when I told him about my situation. I nodded in response.

There was silence for a moment, but I quickly spoke with a, “Hey, what would you do if someone gave you three days to fall in love with them?” Jaehyun arched an eyebrow in question, glancing sideways. “I’m assuming that this is related to what happened yesterday?” I burst out a loud sigh, covering my eyes with a palm for a moment. “How are you so-”

“I know how to read people.” I clicked my tongue. “Right.”

“So what exactly did he tell you?” Jaehyun questioned me again. I puckered my lips, trying to see if I could remember Mark’s exact words. Failing to do so, I simply replied with the gist. “He’s giving me three days. We’ll go to three places. He wants to know if I’d agree to starting over our relationship after the three days.” I was looking down at my thumbs, trying to scrap off the hang nails while I talked in a whispered tone. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

I looked up to Jaehyun, dumbfounded as I got side tracked in my thinking, remembering about my day with Mark once again. Jaehyun let out a disappointed sigh. “Can’t you see, _____. He’s practically a hopeless romantic who’s trying so hard to win you over. I feel bad for that guy.” Jaehyun suddenly leaned forward against the counter, shoulders raising up to his ears while he did so. “Wait what’s his name though? I can’t be calling him ‘that guy’ all the time.”

“I thought you knew? It’s Mark Lee.” I stated monotonously. Jaehyun moved back with shock, mouth agape and eyes so wide that it could fall out of their eye sockets. “Wait! Mark Lee the guitarist from Dream?!” Jaehyun gasped exaggeratedly, both hands having to close his loose jaw shut. “Did you not remember me taking you to one of his performances?” I asked, dumbfounded at how he could forget such a memory. “You just said you knew Mark! I didn’t know you dated him!” My mouth absently formed an ‘O’ as I remembered that I did, laughing shortly after and shaking my head, muttering a, “Sorry about that.” under my breath.

“Okay back on topic.” Jaehyun began, his voice instantly switched fast back to his low, serious tone. “I mean the obvious answer is to take him back. But I’m not the one in a relationship here. So whether you do fall for him again or not within the three days, just make sure you two ended this on a good note. Not whatever you did that day.” Jaehyun rolled his eyes with his last comment. “Did you think I didn’t thought of a way to end it nicely? I tried to but it came out sounding more harsh then it needed to be. But I felt like ot was better to be straight up at that point of time.” I retorted, my voice forged by a shard of broken glass as I feigned exasperation.

“Can’t I at least have a clue of where you’re taking me?” I frowned while Mark was taking out my helmet from the back. He turned around sharply on his heels, passing me the helmet with a faint smirk that disappeared in a blink of an eye and covered with an innocent smile. “I’m not your kidnapper. All the more you should trust me. Didn’t I say we’re trying to find your lost feelings?” Mark expertly put his helmet on without any adjustments needed. “I’m your guide here.” He hopped on, the engine roaring when he started the motorbike and I got on.

The ride to the unknown location was long. I didn’t time it but it did felt long. I had my eyes halfway closed, begging to shut them fully to be put to rest as the wind blew harshly against my skin, the fast speed making the wind cold as ice which felt like air conditioning and made it the perfect condition to sleep. Too bad I couldn’t and even when I did, my head moved left and right as it hanged loose.

We finally came to an abrupt stop. My eyes were still closed at that period of time. But by the sound of bustling and busyness ringing through my ears, it didn’t take me long to have a few guesses formed in my head before I fluttered my eyes open to confirm them. “This place...” I whispered under my breath. Mark heard me and hummed as I went off and strapped my helmet off. I held the helmet in my hands while I looked from the crowdedness to the where the huge sign stood tall and above the entrance of the gates.

“We haven’t visited here in a long time, haven’t we?” I felt Mark’s presence beside me. I quickly glanced at him before directing my eyes back to the sign. “I’m surprised it’s still busy. It used to only be this crowded during the holidays.” I couldn’t help but crack a smile absently, too amazed by the sight as nostalgia washed over me. I handed Mark my helmet, eyes never leaving the place. I watched as Mark walked in front of me and I instantly followed.

What continued after that was simply a whole day of fun and joy. Endless games, prizes won. Though it had mostly been Mark winning the prizes at first, I was soon able to step up and win some too close to the end of the day. We got on rides, ate from food trucks, the plainest of desserts suddenly tasting a whole lot brighter as we simply went around and visiting everh corner of the amusement park. It was nothing but pure bliss, nothing could distract our time here at all.

“I’m not satisfied with this!” I whined, still upset at how Mark upstaged me in over half the games we played. I realised my competitive side became prominent when I played, and also the fact that I might have been competitive only with Mark. Mark folded his arms confidently, his body turning left and right while he threw his leg forward with each step on the way back to our ride. The prizes were small, but the biggest one he earned was an adorable cat plush toy which he hugged like it was his prize possession.

“You used to be better at this than I was. I remembered how you always taunted me and rubbed it in my face while I sulked.” Mark and I chuckled in unison, the memories of it being played in our minds at the same time. We were now leaning against his motorbike, a long silence passing by that felt like a cozy blanket over us, comfortable and serene. The sun was just about to finish setting to welcome the night, and in probably a few minutes time the light on the huge sign would flicker and illuminate the entire front of the entrance.

“You took me here that one time I got a stuffed toy from my friend and thought I liked going to amusement parks.” I couldn’t help but giggle, my mind teleporting me to that exact day when it happened. It replayed itself, and emotions came barreling now in full force. “How did you make such an assumption?” I turned to him, brow raised in a weirded out manner. Mark placed a free hand on his chest and feigned shock.

“It looked like a stuff toy from an amusement park and you kept talking about it in class! I just apparently made that connection...” Mark cutely whispered the ending, which I responded with a frown, surprised at how much I was swooning over his little act.

It took me awhile to notice, having my focus on Mark and the amusement park, that the sunset had always been pretty whenever I was with Mark. At the first stop and now, it was never like any ordinary day. The colours were bright, fighting each other to make themselves prominently painted in the sky. It was a burst of colours, not like your average sunset on an average day. Something about it made me think that the world’s trying to tell me, “It’s really true that the best days have the best sunsets.”

“Wanna head home now?” I flicked my mindset back to reality when I heard Mark’s voice, my head shooting towards him immediately after I stared into blank space at nature’s view. “Mm details on the next location?” It had only been two days. Two stops. With each second passing by, my curiosity to know the next stop had always been growing. It’s as if I was slowly picking up bits and pieces of my feelings through these times, and I was somehow eager to pick up more as it went on.

“The next location.” Mark echoed to himself in a whisper, slowly nodding his head while the rubbed his chin and seemed to be faking that he was deep in thought. “I want you to call me when you’re feeling sleepless. A rought night, one where you simply can’t sleep and wished that time will pass by till morning without having you be a tired mess.” Mark said it in this poetic tone, which flowed soothingly as I listened.

“Why do I already know what you’re going to do?” I asked, a slight smirk creeping up my face while a devious soft chuckle. Mark frowned, eyes narrowed at me while he shook his head. “You aren’t making it fun. At least pretend you don’t know if you guessed it right!” I was trying my hardest not to melt into the floor at the sight of Mark being a cutie. I was suddenly having a hard exterior, one that was playing hard to get but for what reason? That I didn’t know.

Mark took me home, silence throughout with only our expression and hums to communicate. I could clearly tell Mark was tired from today, and I was too, quickly taking a shower and getting ready for bed just so I could fall into it and doze off. But right before I did, my eyes caught its focus on the stuffed bear I won that was sitting on my study table. My hand absently reached out for it. I turned my body sideways and have the bear mirroring me.

It was all so reminiscent. How it was as if I relived that day years ago, which only resulted in a full chain of memories with correspondence to it. It’s like I was in a dark room, nothing but darkness to eat me up alive till Mark showed me a string, one that was slowly taking me somewhere, the destination being sure to be far better than this empty void of my heart, where I didn’t know if I actually did fell out of love with Mark, but simply needed that bit of push which Mark was doing horrifyingly well.

For some reason, Mark and I didn’t contact each other after that day. Days turned into weeks, and as time flash by like a blur, I was already waking up to be greeted with the Christmas spirit that bustled my town just in time to welcome the holidays. Though the snow has yet to come, the town had already begun hanging up decorations and lights hanging from one telephone pole to another. Though the town had greeted me with a lively atmosphere, I however wasn’t in the Christmas spirit.

Without reason, my days have slowly been feeling duller each time I awake from my sleep. Life was boring, casual. I didn’t have anything to look forward to. Eventually my mood had dropped as well. And I always felt the need to put on a smile just so Jaehyun wouldn’t suspect anything. But with him being out of the country for the holidays, I was left to handle the bookstore myself.

I was sitting at the counter, elbow resting on top of the hard wood while I allowed my chin to rest on it uncomfortably while I had my gaze down on my book, mindlessly scanning through the words. I wasn’t feeling that surge to continue reading, I didn’t bother what was going to happen next. My love for reading was suddenly fading, just a little yet still impactful enough to make my days gray. I’d usually be engrossed in a book, flipping hundreds of pages in one sitting when I had the free time.

I closed the book and turned to the back of the book, reading its synopsis. It sounded like a book I’d be interested in while I read the synopsis in my mind. I began to wonder if it was me that was having the colours of me being sucked out by the boredom of life. The book had nothing to do with this. I was simply too drained that I was carrying around a lifeless body everyday. I lifted my eyes up on my book and adverted my attention to the books on the shelves. Nothing stood out to me.

I let out a quiet sigh of frustration, now realising that the red hazed sky turned into vivid black ink after the sun had set, I figured if was a good time to lock up and head home. Misses Lee had never really specified a time for us to close the store, but at this point I could care less. I went straight back home, walking on the pathways as the colour from the lights reflected itself on the stone ground. The lights were bright and eventful, yet I felt none of it on my way back. Nothing was making my heart skip a beat, sending thrill and excitement.

I grabbed a glass of water and brought it straight to my room, carelessly sitting on the edge of my bed. I stared into blank space for a long while, taking occasional sips while I did. Absentmindedly, my eyes slowly went to my study table where my laptop was. And sitting right beside it was the stuffed toy. It was always been in my sight whenever I was in the room, but it was only now that I took in its presence. My thoughts went to Mark, the object of focus being linked to him. My eyes then went to my phone that was sitting at my side.

“Should I...” I whispered to myself. A frown formed on my face. How was Mark doing all this time we weren’t in contact? Has he been well off following the rules of his plan, only having to come to me when I called when he perhaps wanted to rush over and appear at my house like he always used to? “But what if he had forgotten?” I couldn’t let negatives thoughts to be shut out. They were always there, creeping around in the shadows on my mind. It always had to make me think of the worst possible outcomes.

Call me when you can’t sleep, a night when you just want it to pass by quickly. That was one of those nights. I refained myself from thinking twice and picked up my phone.

Mark strummed on the final note of the song, everyone’s instruments settling down as well. Jeno, being in charge of the bass guitar and having to stand next to Mark, immediately went up to him to give him a celebratory pat on the shoulder. “That sounded awesome guys!” Chenle shouted, punching his fists in the air with his drumsticks in hand.

Everyone exhanged faithful looks, including Mark as he looked down at his guitar, thanking it for the brilliant sound it produced though it was entirely Mark’s doing with his eyes by a soft blink. “Luckily I recorded that.” Jaemin ran up to his phone at the front, picking it up and going back to play it. All the members huddle around him, Jaemin instantly blasting his phone on full volume.

Smiles and sighs of satisfaction circled around, finally clapping when the video stopped. “We’re so ready for the Christmas performance!” Jisung said excitedly, bouncing on the toes of his feet. Mark suddenly had his mind filled, filled of her. He didn’t know how, she simply happened to pop in out of thr blue. The laughter and conversation the group was having blurred into the background, his thoughts coming into focus.

“Um guys?” Mark suddenly called out warily. Instant silence and focus was all on Mark, raised brows of curiosity being common in all their faces. “Can we perhaps change the venue?” Mark’s question got everyone to not respond for a beat, still processing his words and truthfully, not sure of what to say.

“I mean we still have time to change it without upsetting our fans.” Chenle said with a shrug. Soft hums came out. It settled down once Jeno made a follow up question. “Where though?” Mark responded immediately by saying her town, specifically the big lawn of grass with a small stage that was used for outdoor performances. For some reason it wasn’t in use anymore.

“You want to perform for her.” Haechan was the quickest one to let out the obvious assumption made by everyone, which resulted in devilish smirks and giggles. “You guys are okay with that, right?” Mark wanted to confirm in an unsteady tone. Everyone nodded their heads firmly with much reassurance.

“How are we not okay? We’ve been helping you out this whole time.”

I tried calling Mark. And after my fifth try, I gave up. I didn’t know what he was up to. And I felt that I wasn’t in the right place to get mad about it, but for some reason I was. He had a life to live. Perhaps he’s been busy with his band, which is entirely understandable. I was feeling pretty bored after work, deciding that I should be out of my home for once even if it was for an hour to take in the cold atmospheric air.

Wearing a thick coat, I shoved my hands into my pockets, taking small steps as my body tried to fend the cold. It wasn’t too cold that I wanted to freeze myself to death, but jt was enough to sting my exposed skin ever so lightly. As I walked down the pavement, the scraping of my boots against the cement and only my breathing to be heard, I began to notice how unusually quiet the town was. Lights were on and decorations were still hung, but there weren’t anyone to bring the holiday atmosphere come to life like any other day. Today was too quiet.

I continued to walk, slow strides and letting the sounds nature fill the silence. However, the further I walked down, the more I noticed a soft sound in the distance. It was muffled due its far distance from where I was at. But it sounded as if a concert was going on. Absently, I began to pick up my pace, simply curious if that is where all the people of the town werre at.

It was this moment I realised that looking down from my feet and lifting my eyes up, that I was indeed at a performance. Lots of shouting, cheers and jumping. Everyone was having a great time. It was held at the huge lawn of grass with one stage at the very back. I never heard of performances being held here, nor have I seem one when I moved here. The stage from my view was small, and all I could see were seven people performing a song on stage.

I was simply standing outside, listening to the music without giving much thought of who was playing since I was too lazy to get closer for a better view. I knew the song was coming to an end, which made me paint a frown on my face, hopefully they’d be playing more. It would certainly be more entertaining than my original plan of taking a stroll.

“How’d you like that, dreamzens!” The familiar voice spoke into the mic, shouting proudly. I shot my head up so fast I would have given myself a whiplash. My eyes darted to the stage, this time squinting my eyes to focus my vision while having to deal with the crowdedness of the area. “I hope you are all spending your holidays well.” Without a doubt, that voice came from one of Mark’s bandmates. It was as clear as day, recognising them within the fraction of a second.

“We’ll be performing one last song before leaving.” Groans filled the air of the crowd, which only made them laugh and giggle, specifically Mark’s unique laughter shining through and being the most prominent. I couldn’t recognise where Mark was. But when a person came walking up to the mic, tapping on it warily and coughing nervously, I knew right then and there that Mark was about to speak.

“This last song. It’s for a special someone. She’s probably not here to listen, but performing it here in her town specifically felt like the right thing to do.” Mark paused for a moment, sucking the air into his lungs and exhaling through the mic. “I love her, so much. I felt like I’ve been giving my best, but my best wasn’t her interpretation of her best. I realised that I’ve never actually been open to her. We never fought, strangely enough. We weren’t normal. I never shared to her about my hardships, simply putting on a smile and trying to be perfect person for her.”

Mark gulped, glancing away before proceeding to make eye contact with the audience. “And after what happened, I finally knew that being perfect, isn’t what makes you the most lovable and ideal person in someone’s eyes. Perfection was what drove her away. And in an attempt to get her back, I wrote this song. It’s a waste that she won’t be hearing it. She’s probably at home reading.” Mark chuckle weakly, rubbing his eye with one hand. “But I hope you all understand what I mean by that through this song. Be imperfectly perfect.”

The song began, and I already felt my heart getting heavy, full of unrecognisable and familiar emotions, clumping all into my heart and putting its weight down on me. It was a slow start, one that usually comes with a sad song. The crowd became quiet and respectful. “Even if I was hurt I never showed it. I’m so scared of seeing the end.” Mark’s soft and gentle voice settled in me as well, it made me held my breath for a moment and exhaling to grasp for air when I realised my breathing stopped. It’s his voice that always made the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand up straight and stiff.

“You saw the emptiness in my eyes, yet I never had the courage to show them to you.” The song was picking up its pace, coming to the chorus. I wanted to shout, show him I was here, wanting him to know that he didn’t have to imagine that I was here while performing, that he didn’t need to perform with just an image of me. But I couldn’t. The song was hitting me so hard in the chest that I wouldn’t even be able to utter a single word. “In a world where perfection was expected, you are one that made me imperfectly perfect, only in your eyes.”

The world came to a pause. From the rapid pace, slowing itself down to finally stop and freeze in time. Mark was the only one in my focus, everything else going blurry and bleeding out into nothing. I couldn’t resist the urge to hug him, wanting to reach my hand out all the way from the back. My vision became clear, and I could see Mark singing with his whole heart, with all his emotions. He told me many times performing was his way of expressing himself, and I could see that. I’ve seen that in all his performances.

I continued to listen, my tears eventually having to well itself up till I blinked down to the floor and drops of them fell to the ground, making its mark. I gulped and bit my lower lip, my vision how gone back to being blurry by the tears but I was still listening. All I needed was Mark’s voice to feel the presence of his arms around me, comforting me and letting me be free.

The moment the song ended and people were getting ready to leave after they greeted the fans, I squeezed through the crowd, being elbowed and pushed in every which way. I soldiered on and finally ended up and the back of the stage, where the whole band was huddle together in a group hug, patting their backs. I made myself known by clearing my throat. Heads shot up in my direction. Mark was in the center, head slowly tilting up and eyes widening when he saw me. He was crying, quickly wiping off his tears to make it seem like he wasn’t. But we both knew he was never quick enough.

“Mark...” Was all I could let out in a whisper and cry. The others were able to read the atmosphere after flickering their attention fron me and back to Mark, quietly going off. I slowly walked up to Mark, head tilted down. For some reason, I was too afraid to look into his eyes. I knew I’d be breaking the moment I looked into them. However, it was Mark’s hands that made its way to mine, holding them as if it was the most fragile thing in the world, caressing his thumb over my skin as if it was the smoothest thing ever.

“I didn’t know you’d come.” Mark breathed out, the two of us having our eyes on our hands that sit perfectly with each other like molds made from fate. “I guess it was fate that made us meet.” I was the first to look up, taking in his eyelashes and eyelids while he kept his gaze down. He was still running his thumb on my skin, in circles or even hovering over them. He was never intending to let go.

“Why have you never told me anything when you went through like... difficult times. Times where you needed someone to be there for you. That’s what I’m here for, aren’t I?” Mark quickly looked at me. Our eyes met and eye contact wasn’t intended to be broken either. “For one I felt bad if I were to ever bring up my problems. Like I said, or sung, I wanted to the the perfect person for you. One you need not have no worries about and someone you can depend on.”

“But that goes both ways.” “Of course it does.”

“So have you never considered that maybe I wanted you to approach me, instead of just leaving me there to fend for myself?” I began to think it over, his deep words settled in my thoughts. he was right. I thought i was being respectful by leaving him be when he kept insisting that he didnt to talk. But why didn’t i ever think that he could have wanted to be pulled out of his mess? That he kept resisting so that ill see he truly needed help. why didn’t I.. “That’s on me. I never realised. I’m dumb for not and so I’m sorry.”

A pause of silence went by, as if the two of us were recollecting our thoughs. “Mark.” I began. “I’m sorry for everything. Having you feel the need to put up a mask whenever you were with me, that night I broke up with you for you, being you. I’m sorry you felt the need to go such lengths to get me back. You didn’t need to. I just need you to be... transparent.” I couldn’t help but giggle when the sudden thought came to mind. “The adorable hopeless romantic that needs saving.”

Mark flickered his eyes from mine to other parts of my face, specifically more to my lips. He tugged on my hands, making me take a step closer to him, our chests now touching. Mark slowly brought his face close to mine, our lips brushing as he spoke and having the urge to connect them with its electricity.

“I’ll be me. And it’s fine. I went through all this in hopes that like you said that night, have the world bring us back together. I’m glad my efforts have been paid off.” Mark went closer, rubbing his nose against mine with a soft smile.

“I love you.” Mark whispered before our lips connected and sparks were sent flying. And just like in any cliché movie, the first snowfall seemed to fall right at this moment, where everything was simply imperfectly perfect.

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all-hail-the-witcher · 3 years

Text

cuddling

here is my contribution for ace week! im literally squeezing this in at the last possible second (as its 11:32pm on 10/31 as i start this) but better late than never i suppose!!

i dont often talk about my sexuality on this blog, but i do identify as ace and its not something ive ever been overly comfortable with. but seeing the plethora of ace week fics on my dash this past week (mostly by @jaskierswolf, hi, hope you dont mind being tagged) has been so awesome and has made me feel so much more comfortable in myself that i had to write something for this :)

this is some gray romantic/ace geralt with some ace jaskier. warnings for mentions of dubious consent/ not wanting to have sex but doing it anyway. there is no explicit sexual content but it is referenced.

___

Geralt was a Witcher. His entire livelihood consisted of him doing things for humans: killing monsters, bargaining with sorceresses, fighting wars, protecting them from pretty much anything that could hurt their fragile mortal selves. It had been trained into him ever since he was a child. Do what the humans ask of you. It is your job.

So why would sex be any different?

Humans enjoyed sex. This was something Geralt had come to learn during his time on the path. What was even worse was that some of them especially enjoyed having sex with Witchers.

Geralt did not enjoy sex. He was not a human, and it was decidedly a human activity. But that did not stop humans from wanting to have sex with him. Some sought him out specifically, wanting to know what it was like to lie with a Witcher for a night. Others insisted on paying him for his monster hunting duties with a round. He never took pleasure in it. Sometimes he would pretend he did. He had gotten quite good at pretending over the years, learning little tricks that humans seemed to like. But the act of it itself made his skin crawl for days on end and he could feel their fingers and lips long after the marks on his skin had faded.

But he worked for humans. He couldn't deny them what they asked of him.

He assumed Jaskier would be the same. The man was certainly human, so much so that he would flirt with grass if it came down to it (which, admittedly, Geralt had only witnessed once, and Jaskier had been very drunk at the time, but still). But he never tried to bed him, which surprised Geralt. He knew he was good, if the praises of the the people he'd laid with before were any indication Humans generally needed him for a favor and then left him to the wind. Jaskier hadn’t asked him to kill a monster or help him track down an unruly mage, and it had been years at least since they had first crossed paths. The only logical conclusion that Geralt could come to was that Jaskier was waiting for him to bed him and then he would leave, just like everyone else.

The problem was that Geralt had grown quite fond of Jaskier over the years (and his incessant flirting) and while he didn’t want the bard to leave, he also didnt want Jaskier to be miserable following him around anymore. Five years was quite a long time to wait for a round, especially in human years. Resignedly, Geralt told himself that in the next town he would lay with Jaskier and then the whole thing could be over, and they could both move on with their lives.

He rented a room with one bed, as they often did, despite there being enough coin for one with two. Jaksier hardly noticed, flouncing off to play a few sets for the locals while Geralt went upstairs to prepare.

He felt the characteristic tightening of his stomach and the shakiness that always came with this particular activity, but he stripped down obediently, even talking the time to rub some of the oils Jaskier liked to much into his hair before laying down on the bed to wait.

He didn’t have to wait long. “Geralt! You’ll never believe th- whoa, were you expecting someone?” He stood in the doorway awkwardly.

“Just you,” Geralt grunted. They should get this over with.

“Me? Geralt...did you think I wanted to have sex with you?”

“Well...” Geralt picked at the blanket, feeling foolish for having to explain himself, he thought that humans should understand these things. “Humans always need me for something. And you dont need a monster killed, so I figured....” “Oh dear heart,” Jaskier walked over and sat down on the bed next to him, running his fingers though his hair. “Please do not take this the wrong way, but I do not want to have sex with you.”

“You don’t?” Geralt was shocked. “But...humans....”

“Not all humans like sex Geralt. I certainly don’t. It makes me skin crawl and I feel all weird after. So I don’t do it. I’m still plenty romantic with people, but I dont get into bed with them.” “Hmm.” Jaskier didn’t like sex either? Maybe it wasn't a human thing after all.

“What it Geralt? That was your I’m-Contemplating-Something hum.”

“It...makes my skin crawl too.” He said carefully after a few moments.

Jaskier’s hand slowed in his hair. “Dear heart,” he began carefully. “Do you like sex?”

Did he? No one had ever asked him what he wanted before. He didnt think he did. It didnt feel pleasant and he usually had to jump in a cold stream after. “No.”

“Then why did you want to do it with me?” “You’re human,” Geralt shrugged. “Humans either want me to kill monsters or want me in their bed. I serve humans, I can’t turn them down. You are a human.”

"But you dont like sex?”

“No. I’m a Witcher. It’s probably the mutations. But can still get by.” Actually, now that he thought about it, from what he remembered, he’d never been much interested in it before the trials either.

“Geralt,” Jaskier tilted his chin up to look at him and he saw sadness swirling in his eyes. “Not wanting to have sex is not a Witcher thing. Plenty of humans feel the same way too. Admittedly there aren't many of us, I’ve only come across a few in my lifetime, and I think there's a word for it but I can’t remember it right now. Sex does not interest me either, but there are far more other important things in a relationship than just sex.”

Geralt was confused. “But sex is the only thing people ever wanted me for.”

“And I’m terribly sorry about that, dear heart, but you’re with me now and I will never make you have sex with me. Have you ever- or wait, is there anything else that you dont like?”

Geralt’s head was spinning, and he was still stuck on the part where Jaskier had said that he would never make Geralt have sex with him. For the first time that evening, he felt his hands stop their shaking and something like warmth bloom inside him. “Hmm?”

“Is there anything else you dont like doing? Besides the sex bit I mean.”

Besides sex....Geralt tried to remember what came along with laying with someone. He usually blocked it all out after. “Kissing,” he finally said. “Burns my skin.”

“Alright, we’ll do none of that then.” Jaskier moved from the bed, beginning to take off his doublet and Geralt seized up for a second, afraid that Jaskier was going go back on his word, but then he reached for his nightclothes. “Are you familiar with cuddling?”

“Cuddling?” The word felt unfamiliar in his mouth.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jaskier smiled. “Go put your nightclothes on. I think I have something that you will enjoy far better than that nasty sex business.”

So here it was then, Jasper did need him for a service after all. Geralt got out of bed and slowly pulled on his night clothes, painfully aware this would be their last night together before they parted ways for good, before returning to the bed.

“Right, so youre just going to lay on your side, yes right like that, and then I lay behind you, see? And I put my arm around you like this, and we snuggle.” Jaskier’s breath tickled his hair.

“What do we do though?” “What do you mean, what do we do?” Despite Jaskier’s words though, he didnt seem angry. “This is it. We hold each other and enjoy each others presence. We can change positions, if you want, like you can take a turn holding me for example or I could lay on your chest, but we just hold each other close. Show each other we care. This is called cuddling.”

“Hmm.” As far as Geralt was concerned, it was far better than sex. But he knew it wouldn't last. This was all Jaskier wanted from him, clearly, which prevented Geralt from thoroughly enjoying it.

“Where will you go?” he spoke into the silence a few long moments later.

Jaskier paused drawing light patterns on Geralts forearm. “What do you mean?”

“Tomorrow.” Wasn't it obvious?

“Well I’ll go wherever you’re going. Just like we always have?"

“You...you’re not,” Geralt swallowed thickly. “You’re not leaving?”

“Leaving?” Jaskier’s voice rose an octave. “Why on the continent would I be leaving?”

“You’ve got what you wanted from me, with this....cuddling business. You have no reason to stay.”

“Oh dear heart.” The next thing he knew he was being flipped around to face Jaskier. Jaskier, who had tears in his eyes that were just barely visible in the low light. Instinctively, he reached up to brush them away. “I’m cuddling with you because I care about you, because I love you. Not because I want something from you.”

“Oh.” Geralt didn’t know what to say. Jaskier loved him? No one had ever loved him before, much less cared about him or wanted him to be comfortable.

Jaskier placed his hand on Geralt’s chest. “You never have to do anything you dont want to do with me. And if you don’t want to travel with me anymore, I’ll leave. You are your own person, Geralt, even if you are a Witcher. And you make your own decisions. You wouldn't take a contract that you felt unsafe doing, so in the same vein, you dont have to have sex with anyone if you dont want to. You make your own decisions. You dont even have to cuddle with me right now if you want to. You choose what you want to do based on what you’re comfortable doing, do you understand?”

Geralt nodded into the darkness. This was all so much. He hadn't been able to make his decisions in...well ever. And now Jaskier was giving him permission to. “I want you to stay,” he whispered. “I....care about you too.” He didnt say that he thought he could love him, he wasn't ready to say that yet. And according to Jaskier he didnt have to say it if he didnt want to.

“Good. Now that we've got that sorted, come here,” Jaskier pulled Geralt into his chest, running his fingers through his hair delicately. Geralt closed his eyes, never had he felt more safe in his entire life. Who knew humans could be so gentle?

Just as he was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness he whispered, “Jaskier?”

“Hmm?”

Geralt felt a small smile tug at his lips at hearing how own language on Jaskier’s lips. “Can we do more of this...cuddling?”

Jaskier’s laugh sounded through his chest, vibrating pleasantly against Geralt’s ear. “Of course we can, dear heart. Of course.”

___

that turned out way longer than i thought it would and its now 37 minutes late but oh well.

throw me an ask if you wanna be on my tag list!

taglist: @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @barlowarts @eminasan @llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @nonegenderleftpain @electricrituals

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colderthancoldest · 3 years

Text

An Easy Alliance

Prompt: "You're here." "I'm here, just like I promised." & "I came back for you. I promised I would, and I did." (This Request)

Ao3 Link

Pairing: Dhawan!Master × Reader

Word Count: about 5k

Summary: It's not easy to be a human with a Tardis. You have a doorway to any where and time in the universe- however, the catch is that the worlds on the other side are often treacherous and it feels like they're against you at every turn. You begin to wonder if it's worth it, if you even deserve this opportunity, when a stranger saves you from it- in more ways than one. Maybe you're worth more than you know.

Various Tags: First meeting, falling in love, fluff and angst, happy ending, my goal is that you will cry but laugh by the end, im ambitious like that, relationship is open to interpretation

Warning: Feelings of Depression, passive suicidal thoughts (It's not that dark, it's actually quite optimistic by the end, but I always add a warning for anyone sensitive to these topics. Please stay safe, thank you.)

Note: Please let me know what you think! I don't often write in this style so I really appreciate feedback! Enjoy :D

---

It's not easy to be a human with a Tardis.

It's a bit of a long story as to how you've obtained a Tardis of your own in the first place.

Essentially you found it, purely by accident. The ship had fled from the Time War and was left to rot when it's pilot was killed. Tardises are known to be temperamental, and humans are notoriously weak telepaths- but neither of you would get anywhere without each other.

In short, you struck up a deal. You take care of the Tardis, learn how to maintain her, and in return- she becomes your door to anywhere and any time in the universe.

It's difficult, seeing as the two of you can't communicate the way telepaths are able to talk to Tardises, but she- the Tardis insisted 'she'- was making do.

She translated the manual for you, provided you with food and clothes and shelter, and was patient as you slowly learned how to fix and fly her.

As if teaching yourself every inch of advanced and sentient technology wasn't difficult enough- you also found yourself deeply out of place in the far away lands the Tardis took you to.

You're human. You're mortal. You look, dress, and act in a way that's out of place in most non-human societies. Even humans from the distant future- as little as a mere few centuries ahead- barely recognize you.

You're clever and fast, but it's not always enough.

It's all too easy to offend people from cultures you've never met. Even if you do nothing wrong, it's your word against theirs.

If you had a nickel for every time you've nearly been killed by a misunderstanding... Suffice it to say, you could easily afford the tungsten wiring your Tardis is always quick-tempered about.

It's in one of these situations that you meet... him.

You're alone, as you always are, with cuffs scratching at your wrists.

The locals of a planet from the future have opted to skip the 'fair trial' bit and head directly to execution.

Of all the ways to go, you can't help but feel a bit... disappointed. A human with a Tardis, a person with a door to anywhere in the known universe, to any time that's ever existed- and this is how it ends.

You suppose you've already gotten more out of life than you could have hoped.

Maybe it's best to quit while you're ahead.

"Really? That's all?" a voice echoes about the large room you're being detained in.

You whip your head about in a feeble and failing attempt to pinpoint the source of the noise. Whoever it is sounds almost amused.

"Someone so quick, someone who's been so careful with the hand they've been dealt, and you're willing to give it all up- here and now?" the strange voice questions.

You spin your head around but there's nothing except shadows. You're set to die at noon and it's barely dawn.

"Who said anything about giving up?" you reply sharply.

You're scared, but that's no reason to show it. You grit your teeth and glare into the darkness around you. You can't pinpoint the figure meandering about in the dark.

"Why? You did, my dear," the voice replies, sounding pleasantly amused.

You squint in a failing attempt to make out the shape stepping into the pale moonlight.

"Me? You don't know a thing about me! I've never met you in my life!" you retort.

And you know this, because you've barely met anyone. You travel to see the sights, not to interfere. You visit worlds to satisfy your curiosity and nothing more. Whoever this is, you've certainly never told them who you are.

The stranger only chuckles faintly.

"I know all about you. A human with a Gallifreyan Tardis? I've been observing you ever since I first detected your ship on Earth.

Then again, it's not your ship- is it?"

Your eyes widen momentarily, but you're quick to force your racing heart back down your throat.

"What I do is none of your business," you defend yourself.

"And what I do is none of yours," the stranger replies in a passive song.

"However," they continue.

They step out from the dark and into the white streaks of moonlight sneaking in from the skylight in the ceiling.

They... look like a human man. A... quite well-kept and well-dressed human man.

A deep purple jacket over an eccentric checkered suit, perfect dark hair that curls at the ends like waves over his face, and dark but shining eyes to match.

You can tell in an instant that you've never met anyone like this before.

"Things have grown dull and you're the first exception to the rule I've seen in a very long time," he says in a tone that suggests this confession is somehow a compliment. "You're never after anything. You only observe."

He tilts his head.

"As much as I dislike humans, somehow- you're different."

He paces about you until you can't see him anymore because of the way the cuffs keep you pinned to the chair in the middle of the room.

You lose sight of him for a brief second.

You fear the worst but then...

The cuffs fall with a clink and your hands are suddenly free.

"For you and only you," he says as he paces back into your field of vision, "I propose an alliance."

"An alliance?" you echo flatly. It's a question, to get him to elaborate, but also a surprise.

All your time traveling, and no one's ever offered you such a thing before.

"Yes, dear," he says in a way that you would assume was patronizing if not for the polite tone of his voice, "an alliance. Your human mind is so loud, I've heard you wondering to yourself how to communicate with your ship, how to repair her, how to fly her. I can be beneficial in that field."

He sounds proud of himself.

You don't cave quickly. You aren't that naive.

You haven't made it through countless adventures- your feet pounding over the surfaces of countless planets, escaping all sorts of dangers- without being careful.

"And in return?" you ask cautiously. There has to be a catch somewhere.

"In return, you help me," he says warmly.

He looks you over with an amused smirk at his lips.

"You see, I have big plans for a certain enemy of mine. However, I don't have time to deal with the day-to-day nonsense of Earth. You help me with the little things and in return, whenever you need saving, I promise to be there."

He taps his chest with a prideful grin.

"I swear on my hearts."

You brush past him as you make your way for the door. You'd better get going before the guards return for your scheduled execution.

The sun is coming up, dying the sky a beautiful purple haze.

"You think that's something you can promise? All of time and space, and you expect me to believe that?" you scoff at his words, "You'll abandon me the moment it's convenient. No deal," you tell him.

He slips past you and reaches an arm across the doorframe to block your path. You cross your arms and glare at him.

To your surprise, he looks angry.

"I'll have you know I take great offence to that! I make good on my promises- unlike some people," he grumbles that last part to himself.

"If I say I won't abandon you, I won't abandon you. If I say I'll be back, I'll come back," he says sharply as he stares you down.

There's something in the way he locks his jaw, something in the way he takes offense to your distrust, something about the way he scrunches his nose and his brows- that make you realize he's telling the truth.

"I keep my word," he insists gravely. "Which is something- you'll find in this universe- not many people do. This arrangement is mutually beneficial. You won't be offered a better deal than this."

You exchange a glare with him for a long moment.

His gentle features are twisted up in anger, his eyes betray and old pain that you've dug up by offending him, his hand remains locked on the doorframe to block your path- and, for some reason, it makes you smile.

You huff a small breath.

"You haven't done this whole 'alliance proposition' thing before, have you?" you ask him.

He falters.

"I haven't had any need for it before," he reasons. "However, I'm currently on a bit of a schedule. I have a lot of dominos to set up before my best enemy arrives to topple them," he admits. His expression softens at the mention of this 'best enemy'.

You pat his shoulder and then pry his hand from the doorframe to pass him by.

He caves easily and follows you outside.

The dawn is breaking and you still need to get back to your ship.

"Alright," you decide with a small sigh.

You do need help with your Tardis and- more than anything- you certainly need someone to watch your back.

It's not every day some well dressed stranger saves you from your own curiosity. You feel obligated to return the favor- seeing as he did just save your life- so you decide you might as well make the most of it.

"What do you need me to do?" you ask, hopefully and yet still bracing for the worst.

Your newest ally grins.

He mostly wants information about Earth. He doesn't tell you why- and you don't ask.

It doesn't matter all that much to you anyway. With your Tardis, you've watched whole apocalypses pass you by. You've grown numb to it. In the end, it's always just a different verse of the same old worn-out song.

You're tired and nothing holds your interest for long anymore. Whatever he's planning, you doubt it'll have any effect on you. You might as well keep up your end of the deal.

Once you gather everything on the requested topic, he asks for information on a new one. He wants to know about Cybermen next. He wants to know about The Great Cyberwars- but only odd specifics from near the end that were left undocumented.

You begin to get the feeling that he needs to research their timeline for some reason, but he has an odd fear of them simultaneously. He doesn't want to get too close to the subject.

Again, you don't ask what it's for- and in return: you get more than you gave.

Your latest ally- he has yet to give you his name- plays translator for your Tardis. He explains bits of the manual you were stuck on and how the Tardis functions as a unit.

He's polite and- once you get past his gallows humor- he can be quite funny.

He explains how certain pieces of the Tardis controls have to be flipped in unison because Tardises are meant to have multiple pilots.

He's odd, he's blunt, and strangest of all: he's a very good cook.

He's the kind of person who always has a secret up their sleeve and he surprises you in all the best ways.

You... begin not to mind his company.

He always seems to know what you're about to say before you say it. You blame that part on his psychic abilities.

However, it's almost nice to be understood in that way. In an abstract, personal, understanding way you've never known before.

In response, he gauges that your words and actions are genuine. His ability to sense your unfiltered thoughts let him know that it's safe to open up to you in return, little by little.

Without even realizing the gradual change- he's suddenly a friend.

Now when you go out on adventures, when you're a lone mortal facing down the strange and terrifying perils of the universe, you're drastically less afraid.

Instead of passing through with your head down, you're able to stare up at the stars and admire then. You can safely look forwards rather than watching over your shoulder.

You're living instead of surviving.

It happened so gradually, you'd barely even noticed.

One day your Tardis lands in a heavily guarded patch of sacred land. It looks like the hillside near a heavily fortified church.

You're not fast enough to explain why you're there, and even if you were- the local authority won't let you. They're very strict people with very black and white thinking.

You're tied to a chair and tossed in the back corner of the guard outpost. So few people get this far past their defenses that the locals don't even have a proper prison to toss you in.

It's a long day indeed, awaiting whatever fate they have planned for you.

You're stuck in the box, alone, tied up in the dull silence. It's... annoying. Instead of wondering if perhaps you deserve it, you decide to escape.

At some point, the guard leaves you alone. You kick the chair around and reach for the scissors on the guard's desk with your hand pinned tight to the metal frame of the chair with rope.

You don't have a chance of escaping, the physics simply aren't there. And even if you get untied, you'll never make it far alive. Still, that doesn't mean you're not going to try. You're not going to let the universe- nor your own apathy and fear- get the best of you this time.

A different guard returns all too quickly. They're draped in the huge robes that the people who occupy this 'holy' land always wear. Of all the possible places to visit, you not only landed in the most heavily fortified part but also the most boring. It was basically just a monastery with a military guarding it.

You're not sure how you're going to reason yourself out of the fact that it very clearly looks like you're trying to escape.

You sharply kick at the guard's knee. It's all you can do. You're not sure if you can take them down, but it's worth a shot-

"Bloody- F- Gah- Do you mind?!"

You recoil visibly at the familiar voice.

"You?" You ask sharply.

The faux-guard pulls their hood down to reveal a familiar face. He looks quite annoyed.

"Actually, my acquaintances call me, O- but yes. It's me.

We made an agreement after all!" he hisses as if this all should be obvious to you.

"You're here," you observe, still quite shocked by the reveal.

He only rolls his eyes.

"Yes. I'm here, just like I promised. Do you really think so little of me?

I told you. When you need saving, I'll be there.

I keep my promises."

Without bothering to ask, he takes a seat on your lap. He sits sideways so the pressure doesn't pinch your thighs- which, all things considered- is quite polite of him.

He reaches down to his injured leg and rubs it with his hand for a moment. He appears to have a previous injury in that leg, and you very clearly haven't helped matters. Either way, once he's chalked up your assault to some bruising, he brushes the injury off.

"No, I'm just surprised," you tell him.

"You didn't think I would save you?" he asks, a little disappointed.

You press your lips together in a neutral expression. Whatever you think of saying, he already knows every word of it.

"I couldn't bet my life on it," you say simply.

He pulls a knife from his pocket and reaches around you to to saw through the tough rope.

"You tried to escape this time," he observes aloud.

You bite your tongue.

Yes, you did- didn't you?

It's interesting, the things you've begun to do ever since you gained someone to share your travels with. Someone who knows what it's like to do all of this. Someone who... knows what it's like to spend it alone, spending every day wondering if you're worth it.

He must hear your thoughts, as per usual, because he can't look you in the eye. He soon stands up again and leads you out.

He doesn't say another word as you return to your separate Tardises and leave.

Things get better from there and soon it's a pattern.

You have fun, on your own. You see the sights, you walk the streets, you eat the food. It's quiet, but it's nice not to have anyone else with you to color the world in any other way than it already is.

It's you and the world.

You and your flirts with danger.

You and narrowly escaping the authorities.

You and wondering directly into the jaws of the latest beast- only to be met with the familiar eyes of someone who is no longer a stranger.

"Again?" he asks.

Sometimes he plays dress up, sometimes he simply hypnoses the guards to let him through, but no matter the situation he's always dramatic about it.

Seeing him always brings a smile to your face. It's rare, but it's always familiar. Being 'saved' becomes more of an excuse than a necessity.

There's a learning curve to traveling the universe and before long, you've reached it's peak. You learn what to do, what to say, how to keep yourself safe.

You don't need him anymore, but you're more than willing to let him drop in to 'save' you anytime. It becomes a comfort, to know that even when you mess up, you're worth saving.

Sometimes you're in the middle of taunting a guard who hasn't even arrested you yet and when he shows up to hypnotize the problem away.

And sometimes, he suggests that he'd better stick around for a bit to make sure you stay safe.

And sometimes you recommend the pair of you get food together, and sometimes that meal turns into a walk through the park, and sometimes that walk turns into laying in fields of grass, staring up at the stars, exchanging ideas about the possibilities of this big old universe you find yourselves in.

And sometimes you wonder why this person, who's so kindhearted and protective, so warm and good-humored, keeps you at arms length.

There's something more about him, you suspect. There has to be.

You're willing to bet anything that it's something dark- but he never shows it.

He's different when it comes to you. You're not certain why.

Is it because you can't lie to him? Is it because you're honest with him? Is it because you don't ask, you don't press, you just let him be at your side whenever he chooses?

It hits you all at once one day that perhaps this arrangement has become more.

It stays true to its core, to be mutually beneficial and serve in favor both parties personal interests, but that's not all it is anymore.

Without realizing, it's suddenly two parties who mean a great deal to each other. Suddenly, you're choosing to help each other rather than acting in order to receive something in return.

You're not scared of danger anymore. You know how to get out of it now- and even if you can't, you know he'll be there.

You trust that he'll be there.

He's no longer contingency, he's normalcy.

You're never traveling alone because he's always there, in the back of your mind, as you wonder if he might join you should the opportunity arise.

Maybe you should voice this next time you see him.

When you run into him, you're offering information- per another strangely specific request- that you obtained from a library in the distant future that your ally may or may not be banned from.

You consider asking why he can't fetch it himself, but you don't. He either offers information or not. One of the rules is that neither of you ask about the others' personal business.

When you arrive at your typical meeting place, his own Tardis is a mess.

It looks... like a cluttered house inside.

The way it's decorated feels very unlike someone like him.

He immediately hugs you as you enter. That's how you know something's wrong.

You catch him rather than hug him. You suddenly feel too sick to remember any of the things you had wanted to tell him.

"What's wrong?" is all you ask softly.

He crumbles.

He remains as elegant and unyielding as always, but it's easy to feel that he's trembling. His breathing shakes and his fingers lock into the fabric of your coat.

It feels like a long time, ages, until he gets out a small sentence.

"I... have to go away for a while."

You're scared to know what that means.

"How long?" You ask tearfully.

"It depends," he breathes quietly.

"On what?"

"If my plan works."

There's a long silence as his words hang heavy in the air.

You don't know what to say.

The rule is that neither of you ask about the others' personal business.

You want to honor that rule but... the way he's acting... it scares you.

He clings to you, his fingers clawing desperately at your sleeves as he hangs his head down low, but he doesn't know what to say either.

Eventually... he decides on a sentence.

"Do you remember... when we first met?" he asks quietly.

You nod.

"How could I forget?" you chuckle warmly in a weak attempt to lighten the mood.

He smiles for a split second. It comes and goes in the blink of an eye. He shakes his head and his expression grows darker as if he's scolding himself for something.

He lets go of your clothes and turns away.

"You didn't bother trying to escape on your own. The whole universe at your fingertips and... you didn't know what to do with it.

I could hear your mind- I always can- and that day you... were about to give up fighting."

You look off to the side and let your eyes fall to the floor.

It's true. The whole universe ahead of you and you were nearly too tired to keep living in it.

You don't believe you deserved to find the Tardis anyways.

Who were you to have a doorway to the universe? Who were you to intrude where you didn't belong? You never belong anywhere anyways. That was why you left Earth in the first place.

There was never anywhere you fit. The only way you can justify your existence is by being useful, to the Tardis, and then to your new friend.

On your own... you're no one. Sometimes you wonder why you bother at all.

"What about it?" you ask coldly as you cross your arms.

You don't want to think about that anymore.

The two of you.... Helping each other gives you purpose. It gives you something to keep busy with.

You still felt the way you felt before you knew him sometimes, but you're improving. That has to be worth something.

He looks sad and broken.

You suddenly remember that he can hear every abstract hint of emotion racing through your mind.

"I feel that way too," he confesses.

His words hurt to hear.

He slowly wonders off through the room. There he goes. Keeping you at arms length again.

"It's been fun... but it isn't sustainable. My lifespan is far longer than yours. It's not worth... us hurting each other over something that can't last."

He shakes his head.

"All this time," he begins, "I've been working towards an end. I'm going to make a stand with my best enemy. I'm going to tell her everything I've learned.

I'm going to make it so that she doesn't have another choice.

I'm going to end something that should have never existed. For good."

He sounds determined all of a sudden. His last mission.

He turns to you abruptly.

"I'm telling you this because I won't be able to help you anymore," he says steadily.

You blink at the tears in your eyes.

Oh.

So...

That's what he means.

"I... understand," is all you can say.

There's a long moment of silence and then-

You rush over to hug him. He lifts you up until your toes can barely reach the ground. He holds you tight against him and spins you about as your tears splash onto the shoulder of his coat.

You want to beg him not to go, but you know he's been preparing for this. He's clearly made up his mind. There's nothing you can do to stop him.

And anyways.

He already knows what you're thinking.

"It'll be okay," he promises.

You want to believe him.

You can't.

It's quiet now.

Something about it all makes everything else feel quieter.

Everything feels... perhaps distant is the word you're actually looking for.

And you feel tired again. No, apathetic is what you're looking for. As if you can't bring yourself to care about the real world anymore.

You feel like you're back where you started.

You don't know what to do.

You have more than you deserve. You're smarter than you know what to do with. You're more than ever before and yet as powerless as always.

Or...

Maybe not.

You know more now. You can do more now.

You know what you're capable of when you aren't afraid and- as terrified as you are right now- you know what the right thing to do is.

It's time to put everything you've learned to good use. He’s saved your life after all- in far more ways than one. It’s time you return the favor.

"Doctor!" the Master shouts as the Doctor abandons him for the latest of countless times.

Why is he surprised anymore?

He should know by now that she always finds a loophole in his foolproof plans. That she always runs from danger. That she always leaves him in the end.

Now some idiot no-one cyberman-resistance soldier has pressed a button to detonate a planet-destroying bomb.

He'll be dead in seconds. Shattered into atoms and quirks and nothingness.

For as much as the Doctor leaves him, the Master simply can't bring himself to leave her. He can't stop chasing her.

Quite soon, he won't have a choice.

This is it. This is what finally pushes him over the edge.

If the Doctor can leave him for dead like this then... she isn't the person he thought she was anymore. He'll finally learn better. He'll finally give up on her.

It was a shame it was too late.

The particle is active.

He runs but... he isn't going to reach his Tardis in time.

He's alone.

And then suddenly he's not.

Suddenly he isn't in the crumbling Matrix room anymore. He isn't on Gallifrey at all.

He's standing, safe and sound, being held tight in someone's arms.

He comes to his senses slowly. The seconds don't feel real as they pass. He looks up to see that he's in your Tardis, in your arms, looking up at your face.

"You..." he breathes. He can barely feel reality around him.

"It just took a bit of fancy flying to swoop in, just a second in time, and save you," you smile at him.

He stares in disbelief.

"You came back for me," he says breathlessly.

"Of course I came back for you!" you chuckle. "It's like you're always saying. I promised I would, and I did."

"Saving you is my job!" he replies, still in shock.

"I had to return the favor sometime," you smile.

His face is still locked in an expression of disbelief. He's still processing this.

You decide to make it easier on him.

"How about this:" you suggest with a heavy heart, "we go back to saving each other. To adventures and pastimes and pretending this is nothing more than a profession partnership.

Most importantly, we both take it one day at a time.

And down the road, when we're done, once we've had all our fun, then we'll find out a way to go out in style.

Together."

He contemplates this for a moment.

"You won't be offered a better deal than this," you smirk. "You'd be smart to take it."

He shakes his head.

"No," he says firmly.

Your eyes widen.

"No?" You ask nervously.

The Master takes your hands in his own and laces your fingers together. He moves closer, his face inches from yours.

"No," he repeats. "I don't want to go back to how things were. I want a proper partnership.

You and me and the universe.

I don't know how I didn't see it before."

You laugh warmly as he presses his forehead to yours.

"I'll do it right this time," he promises. "I took care of what I needed to. No one will ever bother us now.

We can..."

His eyes darted about as he searched for the right words.

He held your hands tighter in his own.

"We can go back to saving each other- the universe be damned.

Every day.

For as long as you want," he promises wholeheartedly.

"Whenever you need saving, I'll be there."

Your heart is racing.

It's all you could ever want and more.

He is all you could ever want and more.

You don't need to agree out loud. He already knows. You voice it anyway.

"Okay," you grin.

In a strange way, you understand now.

You understand why he saved you.

You learned how to fly this Tardis. You learned how to save your friend from the clutches of death.

You are worth the life you've made for yourself and more.

You deserve to be happy- and you plan to be.

You don't know why you ever believed you didn't.

You have a doorway to anywhere. You have a hand to hold. You have a partner who would burn down every planet in the sky for you.

It's time to go out there and get in trouble and make mistakes. To fight the same old fight against every new day and always emerge triumphant.

And your partner is working on a new project. Something to do with regenerative healing using research he stole from the shambles of his old home.

With any luck, maybe the two of you can travel the universe forever.

#Thank you for reading!#please let me know what you think!#im always a bit unsure what people will think when I do characterxreader fics #but i think it turned out okay :)#dhawan!master #dhawan!master x reader #doctor who fic #doctor who fanfic #long post #doctor who #dw

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batarella · 4 years

Text

I Don’t Hate You - Part 5 (Jason Todd x Reader)

will i ever find true love? with standards like this? will i ever find someone who’ll quench my thirst like jaybaby does?

nah.

(If you haven’t already noticed, since the reader is inspired by Jade West, ALL the songs in her singing scenes come from the covers by the iconic Liz Gillies! This one’s scene is inspired by Liz’s live story right here)

WORD: 6908 WARNINGS: EVEN MORE FLUFF BWAHAHAHAHA

Masterlist

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

Jason: ‘don’t do it.’

Jerry the science teacher was starting to catch on to him with Jason’s eyes darting to his crotch for no reason and his hand under the desk, but Jason managed to fool him by pulling out his notebook right where his phone was and pretended to take notes with his free hand. It was getting harder to hide it though, especially when he’d crack into a wide grin in the middle of a boring discussion all of a sudden. He looked like an idiot.

Y/N: ‘I’ll fucking do it.’

Jason: ‘she’ss a teaacher.’

Y/N: ‘that hasn’t stopped me before.’

Jason was writing scribbles onto his notebook at that point, lingering his eyes on the teacher for as long as he could while his other hand blindly texted barely readable typos. How were you able to text so well?

You sent another text before he could respond. ‘I’m totally doing it.’

Jason: ‘I’m sure she wasd looookin behind yuu’

Y/N: ‘no. she was definitely looking at me. Who else would she look at when she’s talking about baby murderers.’

Jason: ‘oh.’

Jason really wanted to laugh now. He double texted.

Jason: ‘I get it now.’

Y/N: ‘im not a fucking serial killer.’

Three dots floating in a bubble followed after.

Y/N: ‘yet.’

Jason kept his eyes on the board. Thankfully, this was chemistry. Bruce taught him more about that subject than Jerry ever will. He didn’t need to listen.

Y/N: ‘it’s just her divorce.’

Jason: ‘you have got to stop asking facultyyyt memberd how their divorce is going.’

Y/N: ‘why not’

Jerry definitely caught him by now. His glances at him included unbothered shakings of his head and flattened lips. But he didn’t say anything and went on with the discussion. He probably didn’t bother. Jason would end up with the highest test score no matter what he was doing in his desk. And the man had large bags under his eyes that screamed ‘I really don’t give a fuck about any of you’ to his students.

Jason: ‘you’re worse than a serial killer.’

You: ‘Im no Amelia Dyer.’

Jason: ‘remind me to look her up.’

You: ‘she killed 400 babies and had a infant farm for 20 years before she got caught.’

Jason: ‘sounds like something you’d do’

Y/N: ‘I don’t kill babies. I just scare them.’

Jason: ‘that’s the first step right there.’

You sent a middle finger and it made him silently cackle. Somehow, your sense of humor through came off a lot less dark, maybe because you didn’t sound like you were serious, when in actuality, you probably were. It didn’t matter though. He was smiling like a crazy person in the middle of a discussion about balancing equations.

Jason placed his phone back into his pocket and waited for the bell to ring so he could go meet you at the library for the fifth week since you started. You were halfway through your sentence. He never thought he’d get there. Somehow, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the end of it as he thought he would.

Just yesterday, he told himself it was wrong to enjoy watching you scream at the stoners hiding behind the encyclopedia sections knowing no one would go in there at all. You were, quite literally, kicking them out of the library while Ms. Peterson backed you up like a shrieking duo. One of them cried while you charged at him, looking like you were about to tear his hair out and you threatening to stick his blunt up his earhole.

It went from something so obnoxious to something so amusing to watch. Perhaps the wrong was in him.

Jason listened to the teacher for the last ten minutes of the class, then the bell rung and everyone started for the exit. He picked up his bag, then took out his phone to tell you he was on his way.

“Texting in class now, Todd?”

He wanted to throw his bag, or anything he had on his hands really, to that source of that voice. Brandon. Fucking Brandon. With his still throbbing new nose and football varsity jacket over his shoulders that made him look even more loathsome than he already does. He came up to Jason and stood him off.

“Every single day for the past week, you text in class.�� Brandon brought his leg up to rest on a chair beside Jason. “What? You think you’re so much smarter than everyone now?”

“I’m smarter than you, that’s for sure. But that’s not really much to brag about.”

“I can tell on you, you know. How’d your GPA like that?”

“Didn’t know you were a dirty snitch, Brandon.”

“Who you texting?” he raised his arms up to intimidate him. “That psycho bitch you hang out with all the time?”

Bruce told him to keep his rage in check even more so in class than he barely does in patrols, but at that moment, in a dizzying blur, Jason skillfully pushed Brandon against the wall and pulled his fist behind him without much care for the onlooking crowd.

“Want a new nose again, jackass?”

“Fuck you-“

“ALRIGHT, ENOUGH. STEP AWAY FROM HIS NOSE.”

Jerry. Poor Jerry. The tired teacher grabbed onto Jason’s shoulder and pulled him away from the linebacker. Jason backed down, lowering his arm, then kept his glare on him while he puffed up his jacket.

“Both of you. Get out of here. Todd, you don’t want me to send you to the VP’s office again before I call your father. Everyone walk away. Yes, everyone. Walk on. Get on with your business.”

He kept his head craned down while Jerry screamed at anyone sparing him a look. Jason shoved his bag over his back and stormed out of the room. Slamming the door, he walked to the library and found an empty table waiting for him with a cart full of books at the side. Ms. Peterson had her hand on her hip, snarling at him when he took the seat. “Get to these by today, boy.”

He ignored her and sat down, leaning forward to take yet another nap with his arms folded under his head.

All it takes is one triggering moment. One thug to taunt him. One word from the Joker. One lecture from Bruce. One threat to his humanity. And now his head’s all boiled up and all he wanted to do was block out the rest of the world and take a nap. And even then, he knew he wouldn’t wake up feeling any better.

“Jason,” Bruce told him a five weeks ago, the first day of his library sentence. “Anything going on in school you should tell me about?”

“Nothing. What makes you think that?”

“You caused trouble,” he said. “You picked a fight.”

“I’m fine. I’m not letting it affect my grades.”

“This isn’t about your grades. You can't let your business from the field affect you and hurt innocent people.”

“I’m not-“

“The next time the principal calls me with you starting another fight-“

“You’ll what? Take away my phone privileges?”

“I’m taking away your suit.”

He stormed out of that room before he could say anything more. Bruce never brought it up again, but Jason knew he was going to keep his word no matter what.

Jason didn’t even notice when you took the seat across of him with that prolonged, annoyed grunt that most often came with an eye roll. You placed your bag to your side and poked at his arm.

“Ey. You gotta help me with this.”

He didn’t look up when you pulled out your notes and your textbook. “WAKE UP.”

You repeatedly patted his shoulder until he let out a large enough grunt to make him crane his head up, eye squinting at you and his black hair covering his eyes. He really needed a haircut.

“What do you want now?”

“You weren’t this grumpy this morning.” You smirked. “I have to make a lit paper.”

“Why can't you do it yourself?”

“’Cuz you're the expert here. And I need that A.”

He buried his face back into his arms. “I’m not in the mood, Y/N.”

“Come on,” you said. Your voice prolonged the last syllable and you started to sound more annoying. “Don’t be a baby.”

“Just do it and ask me questions or some shit.”

“But I need your help-“

“And by the end of this, we’re at each other’s throats. I really don’t have the time for that now.”

You backed up, scoffing. “’Cuz you have something so much better to do?”

“Yeah,” he snarled. “Like taking a nap.”

He didn’t even glance at you taken aback and ignored you cursing under your breath. “Fine. Eat a dick, asshole.”

You took your stuff and drowned them into your bag, shuffling out of the table. A girl came up to you with a voice lower than a whistle. “Uhm, excuse me-“

“NO!” you screeched, then headed for the next table before she could ask anything more. The poor girl was trembling on her knees by the time you found an empty seat and pour out everything in your bag. His head was a mess, and the silence was the first step to actually making him clear his grime-covered mind. Jason kept shutting his eyes closed and focused on the blunt colors that appeared before his eyes in the shape of spirals.

For half an hour, he kept at his nap, falling asleep for a good ten minutes before he awoke to the sound of your screaming at a guy too stupid to ask you if the seat next to you was free while you were fumbling with your assignment. Jason groaned into his arm, feeling his head swell and ache and already knowing Bruce was waiting for him at home with yet another long, agonizing lecture on picking fights he never wanted in the first place. His eyes started to hurt from the force he used to shut them close, and everything in his mind was as hot as fire.

Leaning back against the chair, he knew this was going to bite him in the ass, sooner or later.

And one of the very very very few reasons he got to smile or even laugh all day was now violently taking notes while reading a book with the most fed up, furious expression on her face. He pulled out his bag, taking a water bottle and finishing its contents down his throat before he shot up and pushed his chair back.

Jason stood in front of your desk, his hand on the back of the chair across of you and waited for you to take notice of him. Your glare was terrifying. And it actually made him want to step back for once. But he stood his ground and sighed. “Can I help?”

“Get out of here.”

“I can help you.”

“I don’t need an asswipe telling me off.”

He took the chair despite you and you stared at your notebook, still with your eyebrows arched way up.

“Sorry.”

You ignored him and kept with your notes. He peered over, his elbows on the table, and you practically hissed at him when he got too close. Raising his hands up to surrender, he snarled at him before you continued your work.

“How many of reports have you done so far?”

You didn’t look like you were going to respond, and you kept writing like he wasn’t there in front of you at all. Jason couldn’t help but smile seeing you so angry and focused, knowing you were trying your best to block him out and failing miserably when he could see your eyebrow twitch and your eyes darting at him every few seconds.

Squirming his hand to you, his finger tugged on your gray sweater and scratched you like you had an itch. You pursed your lips and pulled your fist out so you looked like you were about to punch him, but he playfully held your hand and backed off. That was when he was fully smiling by now. He could block out all other thoughts easily when it was so fun to bug you.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and you finally looked up to his eyes. “Come on. Let me help.”

You licked the outside of your teeth and let out a long sigh that came with your usual grunt. Knowing you’d hate and love it at the same time, he ruffled your hair and you charged at him, almost stabbing him with your pen.

You finally managed to smile, then you gave in and handed him your notebook.

“The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe,” you said. “What do you think?”

He leaned over the table, glancing at you, then taking the time to read your notes on what you understood from the passage. “This is good.”

“I’ve read the whole book like ten times by now.”

That made his chest feel just a bit warmer. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you took out the collection book he gave you. “Ms. Peterson has no idea. I’m supposed to have four weeks-worth of penalties because of this.”

Knowing he gave you something, and you happened to like it so much that you wanted it to be your report for literature class, and with you writing a decent paper about it, with you reading it over and over, it instantly became one of the things he won't easily forget.

He never grinned so much in a while, probably since a week ago in the gym. Jason watched you take back your notebook, continuing to write as he gazed too long at your parted lips. Feeling his flesh burn, he looked away.

“I won't bite you if you change anything, you know.” you said, your eyes keeping on your notes. “Go nuts.”

You tore off the page and handed it over to Jason, then you gave him a pen. Smiling at you, he took it, then started to circling words he thought you should change and other ideas he had of his own. A moment of silence, you didn’t scream anything at him when you he gave you the corrections. You graciously nodded, then started rewriting them onto a separate page. Your hair was falling to your cheeks, and it touched your skin so delicately and soft. Pretty.

So pretty.

He was gawking. He was so gawking. You’ll never let him hear the end of it. He shook his head and pretended he wasn’t just resting his chin on his hand like a teenage girl.

The thought of you reading Poe’s works still hadn’t left his mind. It wasn’t even a complete collection. There were so many more stories out there, most just on the internet. Maybe tonight, he could send some to you and you might enjoy them, too.

Or, maybe not. Patrol. Bruce has been telling him not to text so much while he was out supposedly beating criminals. But he couldn’t help it.

There was just something about making you happy, or even just smile or let out a bit of a laugh that made him feel a whip of a breezy rush. You were often sad when you were alone, and whatever you felt at school, it was so much worse at home. Everyday, you told him bits more of how it was like with your parents.

He saw so much of himself in you. You were eerily similar. Too similar. The hidden rage, the angst kept within. Maybe that was why he liked making you laugh so much.

“So what story did you like most?”

You grinned. “I’m not entirely sure. The Black Cat’s definitely up there. I don’t know. I really like all of them.”

“I’ve read that. The Black Cat,” he said, leaning back. “What makes you like it so much?”

“I like the idea of a cat being the whole reason his life goes downhill, kills his wife, and eventually gets caught. Like his whole life was being dictated by his pet.”

“That’s dark.”

“I know,” you smirked. “That’s why I like it so much.”

He had his arms crossed over on the table to cover his chest. “You becoming a serial killer seems more possible now.”

“Fuck you,” you said, sticking your tongue out.

It was almost 4:30. He didn’t even notice the clock. You and Jason had the most civil conversation, not an insult or a mean comment on anything other than a playful back and forth. You closed your notes, then your book, then you stretched out your arms.

“Ms. Peterson’s gonna be pissed. We haven’t done any work today at all.”

“Just put the cart behind that shelf over there. We’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

He laughed, and you went with him as he stood up and did exactly so. “I can take you home today. But we have to leave now. Bruce wants me to go with him on this… thing.”

“Nah.” You pulled on your sweater as you headed out the door. “I’ll stay behind. Dad’s usually awake at this time. He won't be asleep until like, an hour from now.”

Jason respectfully understood, and you watched him as he walked out through the halls, turning at the corner.

He pulled out his phone. There was a text from Bruce.

‘You coming tonight?’

He didn’t bother to respond when he was already on his way home. Yesterday, Penguin and Two Face both had their own bank robberies at opposite ends of town. He repeatedly told Bruce he could handle Cobblepot on his own, but he refused and demanded he go with him while they take them out one by one.

Jason was reluctant of course, and it wasn’t like he had a choice. But he did a great job at finishing off Two Face’s crew that it didn’t take long for them to go all the way to the other bank and catch Penguin before they even got to half the bank’s vaults. Bruce told him he had the option to go with him to patrol tonight or not, but if he were, he had to come home early and not laze around in school like he often did.

Tonight, he chose to go to patrol. He thought he needed an outlet and imagine Brandon’s face on the heads of drug dealers. The thought alone made him grin.

Jason walked out the exit and reached for his keys.

Except he totally forgot he wasn’t even wearing his bag until he’d walked to his motorcycle. Groaning as he walked back into the school’s entrance, he sprinted for the library, catching the door open just as Ms. Peterson was about to walk out with a deathly glare on her face at him. Jason ran for his bag, took it, then gave Ms. P a fun little hug before walking back out.

He took out his phone, expecting a text from you, but there was nothing. So he asked you where you were before heading back out.

Out into the now empty halls, Jason walked pass the lockers, the dark classrooms, the one bright light at the center, he kept his hands in his pockets and sighed.

Piano keys.

Piano keys?

Playing. Simple chords played out but had a familiar tune he couldn’t get out from the back of his mind.

And singing.

A voice he’s only heard so often, yet he could pick out from a million others.

The music room was one he didn’t go in too often, but the sound came from there. The door wasn’t closed, and slowly, he peered it open.

A beam so little from the window, yet he could see how your back was so straight up, how your lean fingers rested gracefully onto the keys, playing the chords in perfectly strewn out notes that he could just tell you’ve been at this for quite some time. From an angle slightly to the left, you couldn’t see him, but he could see a bit of your face, the side of it, how your eyelids looked closed looking down at your own fingers.

Then you sang.

I've seen the world, done it all

Had my cake now

Diamonds, brilliant, in Bel-Air now

Hot summer nights, mid July

When you and I were forever wild

The crazy days, city lights

The way you'd play with me like a child

Will you still love me

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me

When I've got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

You…

Yeah.

You were beautiful.

So beautiful…

Will you still love me

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

You just… kept going.

And there was nothing, not ever, in the entire length of his existence, of his years at the streets, of his few years as Robin, of his time at either a ratty apartment or a manor, of all the people he’s met, of any song that he’s heard.

Nothing. Nothing compared to your voice. Nothing compared to you.

Hot summer days, rock and roll

The way you play for me at your show

And all the ways, I got to know

Your pretty face and electric soul

Breathy, low, and everything he’s kept to remember. His chest never felt so light, yet his heart was beating out of his ribcage. His bag was almost dropped down his shoulder, his mouth was parted, his face deeply flushed. Even when you played the wrong note, cursed, then went on just as perfectly as you ever could, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you.

His eyes were so relaxed on you, and nothing, not even his trembling shoulders could make him look away.

You reached the higher notes with a perfect falsetto, then your voice echoed out even with the room as small as a stuffy classroom. His eyebrows were up to his forehead and he didn’t know if he was still breathing, when he was standing so still, frozen like a block of ice.

You had so much deepness and soul, and you were often whispering the words, but then your voice would go up in a perfect blend.

Perfect. That was all he could think of. Perfect.

His bag was on the floor now, the only thing keeping it up was a single finger.

Lana Del Ray. You sung it better than her. In his most humble, honest, totally not biased opinion. Shit, he even felt like he wanted to cry. His chest was heaving and his face never burned up so much, at almost the end of the song, he finally had it in him to move from his place and throw himself back against a wall.

Breathe. Fucking breathe.

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?

That last note, you breathed it out so nicely, it went straight into his soul, biting his lip, then closing his eyes.

He smiled like the biggest fucking idiot for the nth time that very day.

Jason looked like a fourteen year old girl cooing over a boyband. He laid his head against the wall, staring at the ceiling, hearing you sing vocal runs and pressing randomly at the piano. And he couldn’t stop showing his teeth, his face was hurting like a bitch, but fuck.

FUCK.

He’s never felt anything like this. Like his head was lighter than the air around him, lighter than the softness of your falsetto. He was still catching his breath and grinning above him, then at the ground, then back at the wall. It wasn’t on what he stared at. Your voice ringing in his ears, like angels were flying around playing their little harps over his head, like the sun was shining so brightly against him that he couldn’t see even a smidge of darkness anywhere in the world. How your face scrunched up, how your eyebrows raised, how you’d close your eyes and feel the song as it flew out your lips.

He rubbed on his chin and mouth to ease his aching muscles. Jason kept with his breathing, the fluttering in his chest. Everything. Everything.

Jason needed to wash his face with ice cold water at this point, gathering enough courage, he looked back into the room.

You were staring back at him.

-----

You didn’t look mad.

Though you definitely, most probably should.

You didn’t even notice he was there until the end of the song when he hit the wall with his back. Idiot must’ve thought you wouldn’t hear him.

But you weren’t mad. Not at all. Not from the way he was looking at you. Not when he was staring at you in a way no one ever had in your whole life. Not when you could see how his lips were parted and how his chest was visibly rising and how cute his face was all embarrassed and shit.

You could only smile.

Standing from the piano and grabbing your bag, you walked over to him. Jason gulped down and backed up against the wall with you standing right in front of him.

And after five weeks of knowing him,

Jason Todd finally looked like he was scared shitless of you.

But you didn’t want him to be scared of you. Not anymore. It just doesn’t seem like something you wanted anymore.

“You heard all that, huh?”

Jason was an absolute mess. He cleared his throat three times and hesitantly nodded, keeping his head to the ground.

“I-I’m uh,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be.”

He didn’t look like he had another answer. Jason scratched the back of his head. “Uhm-“

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

You walked first, but looked back to see if he followed. Jason rushed to your side, making sure his blush wasn’t so evident even though it clearly was. You were better at hiding your own embarrassment, so you nudged his shoulder.

Jason laughed out loud and looked at you the same way he looked at the stars. You looked back at him the same way.

“You gonna take me home?”

He managed to form a sentence. “I thought you wanted to stay longer.”

You shrugged. “I guess I can take it.”

When you stepped out the gate, Jason walked you over to his bike and handed you his second helmet. Playfully, you hit the side of his and chuckled when you sat behind him, clutching onto his waist. You felt him tense, but he eventually relaxed and you leaned in to him.

You leaned your head on his back this time. You never did that before. Your clutch was tighter, your eyes closed. If it were anyone, it could pass for simply wanting to be more secure. But that day you just wanted to hold someone you actually didn’t mind being with before you’d get home and all this would end in an abrupt stop.

After a long while, you still couldn’t smell smoke emissions from cars or even hear the horns or bells or shouts from all the city folk near your apartment. Looking up then around you with the sun still shining brightly even at this time of day, you were in the countryside. Away from the city.

“WHERE ARE WE GOING?”

“YOU’LL SEE.”

You could smell cow dung, and the earthy scent of grass you should be more used to than you actually are. The road ahead of you was wide and long, and the air was so much lighter than it was at home. You closed your eyes, this time feeling the wind against your skin.

Jason was smiling through his helmet. Further down the road, you held onto him. “I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO TONIGHT.”

“I TEXTED BRUCE. I’M NOT GOING WITH HIM. JUST HOLD ON.”

You smiled and looked on when he made a turn into a forest with tall trees getting taller as you rode further down. There were no people around you. Not even houses. You leaned into his shoulder and rested your chin on top.

Jason started to slow down when you reached deeper into the trees, finally stopping his bike by the curb. The air was cold, and you wrapped your sweater tighter around your body after you’ve removed your helmet. “Where are we?”

“Come on.”

Jason walked towards the trees, where there was a little cement pathway now covered in weeds and grass growing out of its cracks. You had trouble making your way through, especially when your boots had a bit of a heel in them, then you walked to Jason’s side as it became clearer what you were there for.

An old, abandoned house. Something out of the dozens of horror movies you’ve saved in your laptop.

“Dude…”

“You like?”

It was small, but its picket fence and flaking white wooden walls just screamed fifties to you, with a triangular roof, two windows on the second level, a half-circle glass wall on the right side of the first floor, and a door so rickety and old, colored in an earthly brown that had mixed in with the debris and rot. Vines were all over its porch, and there was even a rocking chair sitting right outside by the entryway, also covered in vines. Outside of the house was an old pickup truck that had rusted beyond use, sinking into the ground like it was pulled by the earth.

“How’d you know I always wanted to go urban exploring?”

“I just figured.” Jason smiled. “Come on. We can go inside.”

“Are you sure?” you eagerly started for the door. “It won't break?”

“I’ve been here once. The stairs are broken so we can't go to the second floor. Just be careful.”

Pulling the unlocked door open, and Jason right behind you, you flashed him a smile before stepping inside.

It was seriously from the horror movies you’ve watched over and over. The first thing that greeted you was a nice little foyer, with a table in the middle and a vase that used to house flowers for sure. Then behind it was the broken staircase Jason mentioned. It was made entirely out of wood, and it had fallen in so bad that it was basically a wall by now. So much of the wood was on the ground, and there were lots of papers, books, clothes, and several others cluttering all around the floor. You had to walk all over them.

There were two entry ways at the sides of the foyer. One leading to the living room, and one to the dining room and kitchen. Everything further down had been blocked out by wooden planks and even more clutter. The living room was beautiful with the glass walls that formed a half circle and a petite grand piano standing in the middle. Its cover was up, and its keys had completely gone. There was still a bit of light coming in to the windows, which shone on the room so nicely, it was perfect.

The couches were completely ruined, and you wouldn’t dare sit on it. At the center of the room, though, which caught your eye the most, was a beautiful, broken chandelier that had fallen to the ground, which was why there was so much broken glass around the floor.

At the other side, the dining room was a bit more modest. A table seating six was still intact, but the chairs were either toppled over to the ground or broken in half. Even more clutter was on the table. Nearby was the kitchen, with an island in the middle, an old-fashioned fridge you probably wouldn’t want to go near to, and other kitchen supplies scattered around.

You both took out your phones and took pictures of the place. It was too good to witness.

“Jason…”

“I know,” he raised his arms up, putting his phone back into his pocket. “Amazing.”

You covered your mouth, then walked on over to the piano. You ran your hands over it, ignoring the mountains of dust that formed over your fingers. “I dare you to play it.”

“There’s barely any keys left.”

You watched him laugh, then you both walked around the chandelier. “Getting a bit of the Phantom of the Opera vibes in here.”

“Don’t touch it.”

“I wasn’t going to.” You eyed it carefully, then you looked up at the empty ceiling. It looked almost like it was going to fall in. Hopefully it wouldn’t.

“The family that used to live here, they left around fifty years ago. A mom, dad, and two twin girls. They both had tuberculosis and died in this very house. The parents just left it after they died. Never took anything along with them.”

“That’s terrifying. You think they’ve got a listing on this place?”

Jason chuckled. “The twins used to be theater stars. That’s why they’ve got a piano. To practice. And they built the whole place around it so the sounds would echo nicely.”

You finally got it. Shaking your head with a knowing smile, you turned to Jason. He had his hands stuck to his hoodie pockets, his head craned down, his hair falling to his eyes, and his smile all over the bottom half of his face.

“Is that why you took me here?”

“You have…” he gulped, never looking away from your eyes. “The most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in my life…”

You had to look away. For your own sake. You were turning red so much, it was embarrassing. “Stop.”

“I’m serious. You never told me you sang.”

“It’s not exactly something I hid. I’ve sung in school a couple of times. Like in middle school graduation.”

“So I’m basically the only one in school who hasn’t heard you sing?” He placed his hand on his chest. Then pretended to scoff.

“Why don’t you sing. Right here.”

“Todd. No.”

“Come on. We have the place for it.”

You looked up at the ceiling, which was high for a house so small. It probably went all the way up to the roof. “No way.”

Jason kept nudging you, but you wouldn’t give in. You couldn’t help your smile though. You and Jason walked over to the kitchen and just looked at all the things the family left behind. Even the toaster was untouched, and you’ve never seen an oven so old fashioned before, it still had that pastel green color on the parts that hadn’t been taken over by rust.

It was starting to get dark. But you never wanted to leave. “Thank you.”

You said it without looking directly at him, but he got it. Going back outside before everything would completely dim out, Jason walked over to the pickup truck and jumped on its back.

You didn’t have the agility to just jump on top of it without possibly pulling a muscle, so you just watched Jason sit on the edge of it and swung his legs in the air. Standing beside him and leaning your back against the truck, you both watched the house as the sun started to set behind it. You could see the beams scatter just at the center of the roof where it angled down. The sky had grown from a brightly lit yellow to a dark orange.

-----

You and Jason were a recipe for trouble.

Was it because you were too similar? Harbored the same anger? The same hatred for a number of people you didn’t even know? Was it because you both stirred trouble when it wasn’t asked for?

It was a recipe for trouble because, according to the young adult romance novels and movies, Jason was supposed to be with a nice, sweet, innocent girl who’d bring out the good in him and was kind to everyone, have just enough of that spice in her that would draw attention but still be a sweetheart, and she’d be made of happiness and rainbows and would be what brightens up Jason’s darkness.

You were not that girl. You were the opposite. You had that same darkness as he did. You had so much anger, and instilled so much fear onto anyone you didn’t like. Maybe you were even darker. And if it were up to those same novels and movies, you were supposed to end up with basically the same type of person, someone who was bright and yellow and happy. Not Jay.

But with you both being so similar, so full of angst and dread and hate, in a world were opposites were supposed to belong together,

why does he bring so much light and hope?

How does someone just as unhappy as you are come along and make you laugh like the world was about to end?

How does someone just as full of pent up rage as you are come along, and make it all go away for a sweet, short moment?

How was it all possible? How could two people, two very similar people, fit into a puzzle that called for them to fill it what you didn’t have?

How could someone supposed to fuel the fire already inside you end up being the sun?

Jason never thought of that either. In fact, he thought he might end up with someone in his line of work. Another vigilante. Not a mean girl from school who terrorizes students with a pair of fucking scissors.

But, somehow, it all just made everything he was turn into what he was supposed to be. You could say the same.

With you in your little room and Jason in his significantly larger one in the manor, you both sank to the ground, backs against the wall, and you pulled out your phones.

You had left a message first.

Y/N: ‘Urban exploring should be more of a thing.’

Jason smiled.

Jason: ‘Nah. People would crowd those places and vandalize them.’

Y/N: ‘True. I’d want them all to myself anyway.’

Jason: ‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’

You felt your heart jump. God, this had to stop.

Y/N: ‘I did. Thank you.’

Jason: ‘Should I get used to you being nice to me now?’

Y/N: ‘Probably not.’

He laughed and shuffled his knees.

Y/N: ‘Send me the pictures you took.’

Scrolling through his albums, he selected everything he took that day and sent it all to you. Leaning on his back, looking up at the ceiling as he waiting, Jason imagined the look on your face when you first saw the house. Your eyes never shone so brightly.

You looked through the pictures and found several, about eight of them, centered on nothing else but you smiling at the ceiling, at the piano, at the chandelier, at the tables.

Y/N: ‘Dude. Why this angle of me?’

Confused, Jason looked through the pictures.

And he cursed out loud, over and over, burying his head in his hands when he saw he’d accidentally sent eight pictures he’d secretly taken of you. Fuck it all. This is how he dies. This is the death of Jason Todd.

You were smiling out of your face, and instead of saying anything mean or the thousands of jokes that instantly came up to the front of your mind, you did the same and sent him pictures you took.

And Jason’s heart rose up from where it sank to the floor when he saw you’d taken just as many pictures of him, doing the same things as you did and some with him holding his phone up. One was just his face.

He was a fucking grinning mess by then.

Jason: ‘Don’t I look good.’

Yeah, you cooed. You certainly do. But you didn’t say that to him. You just went along with him and he changed the subject.

Jason: ‘Huge favor.’

Y/N: ‘Shoot.’

Jason: ‘Send me a voice message of you singing.’

Y/N: ‘Absolutely not.’

Jason: ‘Please.’

Y/N: ‘No.’

Jason: ‘I’ll do your library work for three days.’

Y/N: ‘not even if you beg, Todd.’

Jason: ‘I keep my promises, just so you know.’

Y/N: ‘Still no.’

Jason: ‘Sing in the library tomorrow then.’

Y/N: ‘Ms. P will throw me out the fucking window.’

Jason: ‘Yeah, she probably will.’

Y/N: ‘Do my shelving work for three weeks. Then I’ll send you a five second audio message of me humming.’

Jason: ‘Make it a minute of a song of MY choice. Then I’ll do it for a week.’

Y/N: ‘not a chance.’

Jason: ‘what do I have to do then.’

Nothing. You gripped your phone to your chest. I’d sing for you if it makes you smile any day.

Y/N: ’Two weeks. I get to ride on the cart while you shelf my books.’

Jason: ‘Deal.’

You threw your head back, then you made a two second audio message of you screaming “NICE TRY, TODD.”

Jason: ‘Mother fucker.’

Y/N: ‘HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.’

4 am. You slept at 4 am that night. And only because your eyes couldn’t take it and Jason was drooling on his bed after doing exercises to stay up and talk to you.

He had it bad.

Really bad.

And, not surprisingly, so did you.

----

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

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