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uchihasakurawrites · 3 years

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Until Next Time

Rating: T

Summary: When ghosts from the war come back to haunt Sakura, Sasuke's there to try his hand at warding them off. A story of comfort, growth, and realization. (Blank Period)

Word Count: 3,777

A/N: Long time, no see everyone! Thank you for your patience as I’ve worked through some writer’s block the past few months. I know many of you are waiting on the next chapter for A Lesson in Practicality, but I hope you’ll still enjoy this piece. Please let me know your thoughts if you have the time! Otherwise, thank you for taking some time to read my work. ^_^

Warning: This story contains depictions of panic attacks, PTSD flashbacks, and some alcohol abuse. Nothing too dark in here since it's mainly a comfort fic, but please be cautious if any of these topics are triggering for you.

Cross posted on Ao3 and Fanfiction.net

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Her day begins and ends the same way every other day the past year seemed to - with Sakura walking into the hospital with a confident spring to her step and a brightness in her eyes and dragging herself out (on the rare day she had the energy to pry herself from her desk) with antiseptic or blood or a mix of the two staining her hands and the lab coat she'd forgotten to peel off.

Tonight, Sakura consciously decides not to make the effort to drag herself out of the hospital. Leaving means she'll be roped into the birthday party Ino's been planning for Sai for months, and she doesn't quite have the energy to even shower, let alone paste a convincing smile on her lips.

She spares a glance at the old clock posted right above the chalkboard in her office as she shuffles in and locks the door behind her.

8:00PM.

Fourteen hours since Naruto shook her awake and thrust her straight into a day from hell.

It's still a little too early for anyone to come looking for her yet. Naruto will notice that she's not at the bar right when he arrives, but Hinata will patiently remind him of the shitshow that was today and reason that Sakura's still probably dealing with the aftermath. (In much less colorful terms, of course; Sakura's only heard her friend curse a handful of times, none of which were in front of Naruto.) That'll buy her about an hour before Ino starts making a fuss and sends Sai or Kiba out to Sakura's apartment.

If she's not there, they'll assume she's still at the hospital, and they won't come back until it's close to midnight. Not today. Not after seeing the hallways lined with burn victims pleading for someone to find their loved ones. Not after returning home and finding that the stench of charred skin and blood isn't so easy to wash out of their clothes.

Sakura didn't get to leave. Her role just changed from a kunoichi dispatched on a rescue mission to the de facto head of the hospital the moment she crossed the threshold.

She pulls the shades in hopes of convincing her friends that she isn't here if they do decide to come looking but stops short in front of the light switch. The migraine between her temples screams for her to turn the fluorescents off, but she doesn't trust her mind not to see death in the shadows of her office tonight.

She turns them off anyways.

It isn't until she's sitting criss-cross on her floor with her too-full bookshelf at her back and a bottle of sake in her hand that Sakura realizes her hands are trembling. A splash of sake makes its way onto her carpet instead of into her cup, and she curses because it's good sake - the expensive kind that Tsunade bought her a case of after the war and no no no.

She cuts that thought there because violent memories of the war, or rather the days immediately following the war, have been intruding into her mind all day and she just can't.

A case or so of sake should knock her and those thoughts right out (or so she hopes). Years of honing her skills as a medic nin have given her a certain resistance to toxins, including alcohol, and it's why she doesn't bother to drink most of the time; social drinking is more of a waste of money than anything else. She figures that's precisely why her mentor gave her an entire case as a gift.

It isn't until she's two bottles in and there's a buzzed lightness to her body that she realizes she's crying.

Her breath seems to come faster and faster, shallower and shallower, and she wonders if the buzz and creeping, cold numbness in her fingers is because of the alcohol or the lack of oxygen. She's shivering, muscles tensed to the point of pain, but she blames it on the chill of the hospital.

Another glass will knock the cold right out. At least, that's what Tsunade used to say when she drank away the ghosts that forced themselves a little too close to the front of her mind.

It's a few glasses later that Sakura starts seeing the eyes of the dead staring back at her from the shadows at the edges of her office. She's back on the battlefield, the same smell of burnt skin and the mournful cries of shinobi finally processing the deaths of their comrades hanging in the air. She's been healing for days, but she continues to push. The fighting may be over but there are still identities to confirm, survivors to heal, and families to be notified.

Sakura knew that death was part of her job description from her days in the Academy; protecting the interests of the village often required it. Tsunade had let her figure out that the same was true of her job as a medic on her own, when she lost her first patient at fifteen. She'd learned to put the deaths she dealt with in a neat little box which she deadbolted and tossed on a shelf in the deepest recess of her mind she could find.

But death was a uniquely stubborn bastard that didn't always like to stay in that box.

She'd been awake for the full three days the war had drawn on, but the medical corps was tasked with the brunt of combing through the miles upon miles of dead shinobi for another forty-eight hours or so. They'd had help, but medics were the ones needed throughout to organize, heal, or in the worst possible cases (which Sakura and Shizune handled) show mercy to the shinobi who were alive but long past the point of saving.

Sakura nearly vomits and washes the bile down with more sake. One glass. Another.

The quiet tears have turned into sobs that scratch at her throat and squeeze her lungs. Her nails cut thin crescent moons into her forearms, and her shoulders hunch as if she can ward off the prying eyes. Sakura barely has the presence of mind to activate the silencing seal in her office - the one she keeps on hand when discussing particularly sensitive cases - before her sobs grow into half screams. She can't get enough air to manage much more than a hoarse cry, but if she can just drink fast enough, it shouldn't matter.

And so she cracks open another bottle and brings it directly to her lips, trying to focus on the burn of the alcohol on her throat and Naruto's bright smile reassuring her that everything would be fine when he first found her clutching a bottle of sake in the corner of her disaster of a bedroom.

What she doesn't count on is the alcohol making it increasingly difficult to distinguish reality from the memories that have escaped from her mind and seared themselves into the darkness around her. They become more real, more tangible, until she swears she can hear the fresh widow of a shinobi from Cloud shouting about how Sakura hadn't done enough. Another voice joins until there's a chorus telling her exactly what she feared most:

There shouldn't have been so many casualties. She should have been able to do more.

She was weak.

Her tears stop for a moment when she looks up and sees Sasuke standing in the doorway. For a fraction of a second, she almost feels relieved and tries to move to go to him, but she's reminded none of this is real, and she can't be sure which Sasuke this is. Given her current state of mind, it's probably the one who haunted her nightmares for months after the bridge and still longer after his genjutsu in the war. She takes a swig from the bottle she clenches in her fist and curls back into herself.

Sasuke's repeated calls of her name fall on deaf ears.

For his part, Sasuke is at a loss. He's never seen Sakura like this (and he'd witnessed her tears firsthand on many occasions as genin). Sure, she's always worn her heart on her sleeve and been far too open with her emotions by standard shinobi rules, but she has never seemed so broken.

Looking at the scratch marks that trail down her forearms and the far too many empty bottles of sake for someone of her stature littered on the carpet, Sasuke realizes he doesn't know this woman - and in retrospect, he never should have assumed otherwise.

From her confessions both during the war and when he made the decision to leave her behind yet again, Sasuke knows she's still fiercely loyal and has a light bright enough to forgive and heal anything it touches without her needing to make the conscious choice to do so. Her skills as a shinobi have grown to the point that she could give him a challenge if they were to spar, and he's seen her heal an entire battlefield for days on end while still fighting on the front lines.

She's become more than worthy of the title of the "New Sannin," as the original Team 7 has now been christened, and she still loves him (unreasonably so in his opinion, but he's come to realize that maybe he doesn't want her to change her mind - even if he thinks it would be better for her in the long run). But that's all he knows, and he finds himself wanting to discover more of who Sakura is now.

He has years of absence and cruel actions to make up for, and far more growth beyond that to become someone who deserves the steadfast love she's always been ready to give him.

At the moment, however, he needs to get her to let go of the liquor bottle she clutches onto like a lifeline and refocus on the present. He's been trapped by his past more times than he'll ever admit, and though he hasn't had real comfort since his mother (and Sakura, he amends), he owes it to her to at least try.

Sasuke approaches her slowly, intentionally making his footsteps heavier so that she can hear him approach. Whatever nightmare she's trapped in - he confirmed it wasn't a genjutsu the moment he broke the lock on her door after an unnerving spike in her chakra - she hasn't seemed to notice he's actually here. He bites back the guilt that surfaces at the thought that he could be part of her nightmare, but that's something they can work through later.

He crouches down in front of her, taking a firm hold of the hand that clutches the bottle to try to coax it out of her grip. She jolts at the touch, peeking hesitantly up from her knees with red-rimmed eyes and a mix of tears and sweat coating her cheeks.

"Breathe, Sakura."

Her grip loosens as she meets his eyes. He sees uncertainty waver in her gaze as she hiccups in a short breath, but then the panic snaps back down and tightens her hold on the bottle yet again.

"I- I can't."

The words are stilted, as though forcing out those two words causes her physical pain. Sasuke, however, considers it a small win as it means Sakura's decided he's real. Her breathing is still far too fast, and he knows he needs to stabilize it before she's ready to explain what's happening.

It's awkward - both because Sasuke has never done this and the fact that he hasn't completely sorted through his feelings for his teammate - but he eventually pulls Sakura far enough away from the bookcase that he can shuffle in behind her. He secures his legs around her sides and arranges Sakura so that her back rests on his chest.

It's almost annoying just how snugly Sakura fits against him, her head tucked just below his chin. A part of his mind notes how her curves seem to melt into his frame only to be ruthlessly shoved down. There are priorities, and noting how the boyish (yet annoyingly charming) Sakura has clearly blossomed into a young woman is not one of them.

Where the Sakura from his memories smelled of strawberries and artificial sweetness, the woman in his arms tonight seems as though she's been doused in a pungent blend of antiseptic and ash.

"Breathe, Sakura."

Sasuke repeats Sakura's name to ground her as he starts regulating his own breath: six counts in through the nose, hold, eight counts out through the mouth. He's sure to exaggerate his breaths a bit so Sakura can feel the movement against her back. Hesitantly, his hand comes up to trail over the marks on her forearm. His hands have always been cold, so he figures the one he has left might be able to relieve some of the sting from her nails.

He makes a mental note to pick up some basic medical ninjutsu and doesn't bother to pretend it's just for field injuries.

It takes about ten minutes for Sakura's breathing to return mostly to normal. It still stutters every now and then, but she's matching Sasuke almost breath for breath. She doesn't move away from him, and Sasuke doesn't move to shift her.

As they sit in silence, save for their own breathing, Sasuke realizes he's put himself in a position where he needs to actually start the conversation. There's no bright chatter, no smile to coax him into talking. Again, he's at a loss.

It seems this new Sakura has retained a talent for doing this to him.

Annoying woman.

"Tell me about it."

Sakura immediately shakes her head, breath trembling yet again. Sasuke sighs and guesses he should have known she wasn't going to make this easy for him. He can't blame her. If someone asked him to do the same, he would have told them to fuck off.

"Sakura."

She turns to him with a dangerous look in her eyes, a cold jade that threatens to cut him if he pushes too far. Sasuke's always been the best at serving the very same look, but it's unnerving to see it etched into Sakura's soft features.

"Dammit, Sakura. Just talk to me."

Her gaze grows warmer, but not in the way he wants. She's angry, and Sasuke isn't really sure how he could have pissed her off in just six words. Sakura being Sakura, she of course makes the reason for her anger clear immediately.

"And why the hell do I need to do that, Sasuke?"

Sasuke nearly winces at the dropped suffix on his name and tries to remember how his mother handled it when he refused to confide in her.

"You haven't been here" - even Sakura knows this is unfair as she says it, but the confusion, grief, and alcohol clouding her mind make it difficult to acknowledge how much the man she loves has grown to be able to offer this to her- "and you never told me anything when I asked you to. So fuck off, Sasuke-kun. I'm sure Naruto's expecting you."

Naruto most definitely wasn't, but Sasuke doesn't see the value in pointing that particular fact out. By the time he got to the village and was promptly dragged into the bar he had made the mistake of walking past on his way to the Hokage Tower, the idiot was already drunk off his ass. Ino was as well, so Hinata asked Sasuke if he would mind going to check on Sakura at the hospital since she and Sai needed to stay to take care of their significant others.

Sakura finally moves to get up, tipping over a half-full bottle of sake in her efforts, but Sasuke can still see the tremors in her hands and the familiar strain of a jaw clenched against tears. Her eyes still dart towards the corners of the room.

Sasuke's well aware of the ghosts that can haunt those shadows and resolves to help Sakura put hers to rest, even if it's just for the night. His legs tighten around Sakura before she can fully pull away from him, and she falls back against his chest with a huff and a glare that's more tired than venomous.

Sasuke sighs and lowers his head. His bangs cover his eyes as he decides to voice at least part of the feelings he's managed to process regarding Sakura. He's not sure exactly how to categorize how he feels about her yet (mostly because his mind still can't comprehend why someone so bright has loved him through so much darkness), but he wants to help and that's about all he can offer her at the moment.

She deserves more, so much more, but he hopes it's enough for now.

"I'm here, Sakura."

He wants to add that he's not going anywhere because someone who will stay is only a fraction of what Sakura deserves, but that's not a promise he can make.

He feels Sakura's surprise as she stiffens against him, and her breath stops altogether for a few worrying moments. Sasuke wills himself to stay relaxed at her back, still maintaining a steady breathing pace should she need the rhythm again.

Sakura's thoughts are a whirlwind that she tries to grab ahold of but slips right through her fingers. She's torn, half of her mind shattered glass that urges her to open up and share even a part of her pain so that she can just stop breaking. Sasuke's here, showing his own vulnerability (however slight) in hopes that she'll trust him enough to do the same, and she's not sure when she'll experience this side of him again.

The other half, near-solid stone with only spiderweb cracks, whispers that voicing the memories that haunt her will only confirm her weakness in Sasuke's eyes. Instead of seeing the warrior who destroyed the ground and healed thousands in the war, he'll see the wisp of a girl who had trailed behind him as a genin.

It's the gentle, unconscious stroke of Sasuke's thumb across her forearm that makes her decision. Sasuke can sense the shift in Sakura as her head drops back onto his shoulder and her eyes squeeze shut. She's tired, so tired.

"I killed them."

Her voice breaks in the middle, and Sakura hisses out a quiet dammit at her traitorous voice. Sasuke's hand tightens where it rests on her arm.

He's quiet for a moment. Outside of discussing strategy or the details of a mission, talking isn't something Sasuke has much practice in. That, and his plan may have ended at getting Sakura to calm down enough to breathe properly.

He spends another minute in silence, growing increasingly frustrated with his inability to find the words he needs to comfort the woman who has always known exactly what he needed to hear. Sakura, however, doesn't seem to mind the silence as she relaxes against him. Green eyes crack open, and though they're still muddled with pain, he sees a steady glimmer of trust and contentment behind them that immediately quells his frustration.

The open trust in Sakura's gaze reminds Sasuke that she's never expected him to be anyone other than himself. She's always been patient, meeting him more than halfway as he seemed to take one step towards her and two or three back.

He suspects it's the same now, as there's no expectation in her eyes, no tension in her body that suggests she's irritated by his silence. So instead of pushing himself to think of the correct words to fill the empty space, Sasuke pulls her more firmly against his chest and shifts her so his chin rests lightly atop her head.

It's more affection than he's ever shown, and it's far from comfortable for him, but Sasuke knows that Sakura's worth a bit of discomfort.

Just as Sakura has spent so many years steadfastly waiting for him to come to her, he settles in to wait for her to tell him - whether that time comes tonight or later down the line.

That time doesn't come tonight. Though she trusts Sasuke with her life, Sakura can't quite break through the insecurity that he'll find her weak the moment she says anything more. Maybe it's not a fair assumption to make, but most of her memories of them together on the battlefield ended in Sakura being treated as fragile - something to be left behind and protected.

Even if they made progress during the war, Sakura's not quite ready to test the durability of the picture of strength she painted as she threw herself at Madara or took on a goddess at her team's side.

Instead, she's happy to just let his presence ward off the shadows in her mind. The voices are silent at his touch, so she decides to just enjoy the rest and wrestle with them when they inevitably come back after Sasuke's gone again.

Sasuke feels Sakura's breathing even out and watches her eyes flutter closed as she falls asleep against him. It's an interesting thing, having someone trust you so fully that they're willing to be at their most unguarded.

And he's done nothing to deserve it. He knows this, and it merely strengthens his resolve to continue his journey of atonement so that he can become someone who's at least a fraction deserving of Sakura and all that she's willing to offer him.

As he maneuvers himself out from behind Sakura and shifts her onto his back, Sasuke realizes with a tinge of bitterness that this is something he could have every day - Sakura's presence and everything bright and loving that entails. But as much as he wants to be there when she wakes up and finally say yes to taking her with him, he's not quite ready for that step.

There's more growth to be had, more relationships to mend, more emotions for him to reconcile within himself. While he knows having Sakura by his side would expedite the process of mending bridges and healing his own wounds, she needs to keep some of her light for herself.

When he leaves this time, it's out of consideration not just for himself, but for both of them. He can just make out the time when he asks Sakura to join him on his journey in the near future, but it's not now. They both have steps they need to take before they're ready.

He leaves Sakura tucked under the nest of far too many blankets she's always stubbornly kept haphazardly strewn across her bed, with a simple note on her nightstand:

Next time, Sakura.

#sasusaku #sasusaku fanfic #sasusaku blank period #blank period #naruto fanfiction #hurt/comfort #sasusaku fanfiction #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #romance

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shera-dnd · 3 years

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Cupid’s Kiss

Took me way longer than expected curse the whims of my mental health but the winner of this month’s 3k fic poll is finally here!

In which Carmen and Julia have a lovely totally not date in Paris while in search for two thieves who are certainly also not having a date

if you’d like a chance to get your fic ideas written by me, or just want to support me, you can feel free to donate to my ko-fi (rules over here)

and here is the ao3 link if you’d rather read it over there

also this fic was brought to you thanks to the help of @cantdrawshaw

NOW ON WITH THE FIC

Carmen Sandiego was the best at her job. She had bested trained assassins and killer robots, evaded the world’s most advanced detective agency, and destroyed the largest criminal organization. All in her early twenties.

Yet there was one task she was not prepared to face. One that escaped her skills, both martial and technical. One that she had failed to plan around. One that existed entirely beyond the range of her skills. A foe that she could not beat.

“Come on, Carm,” Zack called, “it can’t be that hard. If even Ivy could score with the girls, you can do it too.”

“Even Ivy?!” His sister replied, furious, “I’ve been with more girls than you, jackass.”

“Guys, guys!” Carmen interrupted, “you’re not helping.”

Mentioning her interest in spending more time with Julia Argent had been the biggest mistake she had made in weeks. This was supposed to be a peaceful day at their old home base, but now here she was.

Her friends were trying so hard to help her and she couldn’t even be mad at how poorly they were doing, because she knew she wouldn’t fare much better were the roles reversed.

“Sorry,” the siblings replied in unison.

“I appreciate the support,” she assured them, “but I’m not trying to ‘score’ with anyone. I just wanna get to know Jules a little better.”

“So this is not a date?” Ivy asked.

“No!” She replied, a little too quickly, “me and Jules aren’t like that. She’s more of a… professional acquaintance. A coworker.”

“Carm,” Zack replied, “we’re coworkers and you’ve never had a bouquet of roses delivered to my door.”

“It was just a thank you for handling all those precious artifacts for me,” she explained, “she’s a hard worker, she deserved it.”

“Sure,” Ivy nodded, unconvinced, “is that why you take time to chat over coffee with her every other caper?”

“Not every moment of our lives has to be a chase, you know?” she countered.

“Or why you keep finding excuses to dance with her?”

“It’s the easiest way to speak privately at those parties without garnering unwanted attention,” she recited as if from a textbook.

“Or why-”

“Cease this!” Shadowsan’s stern voice commanded and the siblings fell silent, “VILE has trained her to never cave under interrogation. You’ll have a better chance extracting information from a rock.”

Carmen smirked at them, proud to have her skills of deflection recognized.

“Do not be so full of yourself,” he added, making Carmen flinch just a bit, “I have taught those lessons for years and I know how to see through them.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she deflected, looking away.

He walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder with uncharacteristic gentleness.

“I have seen the happiness Miss Argent brings you,” he said, “and I wish you the best of luck should you wish to pursue it.”

That meant a lot to Carmen. More than she could really express in words. But after she had been so thoroughly embarrassed by her friends, all she could really say was,

“Not you too.”

She looked up at the smirking siblings and braced herself...

“Hey, Red,” Player’s voice called, just in the nick of time.

“Player!” She jumped to attention and grabbed the laptop from their desk.

“Woah!” he exclaimed, “everything okay, Red?”

Zack and Ivy snickered as they sat by each side of her, so they could see Player.

“I think Carm would rather you sent her on a crazy chase instead of sitting here talking about her crush on Jules,” Ivy teased.

“Well it looks like you might get to do both,” Player replied, to Carmen’s dismay, “look who our cameras just found walking around Paris.”

The screen cut to a video feed of one of ACME’s hidden cameras over the streets of Paris. None of the people on camera seemed particularly conspicuous… until a particular pair walked on screen. Even without their costumes Carmen could always recognize them.

“Tigress and Paper Star,” she noted, “those two can’t be up to any good.”

“Looks like we’ll be going to Paris, eh Carm?” Ivy commented as she playfully nudged her side.

“City of love,” Zack added as he joined the nudging.

Carmen groaned. This was gonna be a rough mission.

Chase had grown a lot over the past few months. His deductive reasoning had vastly improved, his mood was far more amenable, and he actually stopped to listen to Julia nowadays. What hadn’t really improved with time was his overall clumsiness.

“Miss Argent, I’ll be fine,” his insistence was interrupted by a powerful sneeze, “This is nothing.”

“Agent Devineaux, please,” she pleaded, “you’re in no state to continue this investigation.”

Devineaux had landed himself into his fair share of rivers over the months he had worked for ACME, and it seemed that so many cold baths had finally caught up to his health. Not that he would ever admit to that.

“Nonsense,” he claimed, “I’ll be back in perfect shape by the time we land in Paris.”

The sneeze that followed said otherwise.

“Chase, please,” she asked again, “rest. I can handle this.”

“I refuse to send my partner on a mission by herself.”

“As sweet as your concern is,” she countered, “I doubt I’ll be by myself for long.”

“Ah yes, I’m sure La Femme Rouge will make for good company,” he agreed and she was glad he did, but it sounded like there was more to his words. “Were you anyone else I’d worry this was all a ploy to have some private time with Miss Sandiego.”

She shot him an unamused glare.

“Apologies,” he said almost immediately.

“Accepted,” she sighed, “but I do not appreciate any insinuations as to the nature of me and Miss Sandiego’s relationship. We’re good friends, nothing more.”

“Of course,” he nodded, but Julia could tell he had more to say.

Truly his detective skills have improved considerably as of late. It had become harder and harder for Julia to pass her excitement for those missions as simple passion for her work. Not when she had abandoned that work as soon as it conflicted with her passion for… something else.

Chase was her friend and she knew he’d understand her feelings for Carmen. She was also sure he’d do his best to keep it a secret until she was confident enough to bring these things to light. She trusted him and she didn’t fear anything of the sorts.

What she did fear was Chase trying to wingman for her. Just the thought was enough to fill her with dread. Enough dread to keep her mouth shut about her feelings in the vicinity of Agent Devineaux. Even if it felt bad to hide this from her friend.

Thankfully the Chief chose that exact moment to call her to give her updated information on their targets.

Now she could just shut off all these awkward feelings and focus on her work.

The Louvre had been an obvious target. The world’s most famous museum, home to thousands of priceless works of art, including the Mona Lisa itself. It was so obvious in fact that VILE had never bothered to consider it.

But VILE was gone now and its escaped students no longer had any faculty to dissuade them from this target.

That’s why Carmen now walked its halls, diligently searching for any security flaws that could be exploited and any sign of the two master thieves on the loose.

She still took time to appreciate the art of course. This was the most famous museum in the world for a reason and she wasn’t gonna let this unique opportunity escape her, even with the evil duo to watch for.

Carmen had her attention split in every possible direction, her mind juggling its many tasks as she wandered hall after hall. Until, that is, she found something that pulled her focus into one singular point.

A shorter woman in a nice fitted suit, standing before one of the statues.

“Jules,” she greeted as she walked up behind her.

“Miss Sandiego,” Julia smiled as she greeted her, utterly unsurprised. She must have been expecting her, “it’s nice to see you here.”

“It’s nice seeing you too,” she replied, “and we went over this before, Carmen is just fine.”

“Carmen,” she said, in a way that warmed Carmen’s heart, “I take it you’ve been enjoying your time in Paris.”

“Hard to go sightseeing while I’ve got work to do, but I’m making do,” she shrugged, “how about you? What caught your attention today?”

Julia turned back to the statue she had been appreciating until then, “Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss.”

Carmen smirked, it was her time to shine.

“Sculpted by Antonio Canova, commissioned by welsh art-collector John Campbell in 1787,” she recited from memory, “its prime version was acquired by the Louvre in 1824 after the death of its previous owner, Joachim Murat.”

“Very impressive,” Julia praised, “I wish my students put half as much time as you do into their research.”

“I’m just good at memorizing trivia,” Carmen shrugged, trying to hide her pride at earning that praise, “I’m sure you know so much more than me on the subject.”

Boy was Carmen right about that. That seemed to have been the cue to send Julia into a long lecture about the neoclassical and romantic periods, as well as an analysis of the sculpture’s mythological origins and the many interpretations of the myth.

Many people would probably find this amount of information unspeakably tedious. But for Carmen, who was always hungry to learn about the world around her (and could never get tired of Jules speaking so enthusiastically,) it was exciting and endearing.

Carmen had realized then that she wanted nothing more than to spend her every waking hour listening to Julia talk on and on about anything she wanted, as long as it was passionate like this. Maybe someday soon.

Right now they had the whole rest of the Louvre to scout.

“Alright, alright, victory is yours,” Carmen playfully interrupted, “I guess you really are the biggest history nerd here.”

“Oh I’m sorry, it seems I got a bit carried away,” Julia cringed in shame. Damn it Sandiego! “I didn’t mean to bore you.”

“You couldn’t bore me if you tried,” Carmen assured her as she placed a hand on her arm, “I mean it. It’s nice hearing you talk.”

“Unfortunately I no longer teach,” she replied, “otherwise I would have given you an open invitation to any of my classes.”

“Well, how about you show me around the place?” she suggested, “we can call this a private lesson.”

At that Julia smiled again, “then I hope your memory is as good as you say it is, Carmen Sandiego, because I’ll be quizzing you at the end of the tour.”

They both laughed as Julia led them along to the next art piece in what was clearly a meticulously planned tour of the museum. Jules kept her teacher face on for all of her little lectures, but as they walked from room to room it felt so simple and casual.

For once Carmen felt like there was no rush and that she could just enjoy her time with someone she cared about. Maybe that was the moment. Her chance to make something out of this and let Julia know how she felt.

“Hey, Jules,” she called, walking a little closer to her.

“Yes?” Julia turned to look at her, she seemed surprised by the sudden closeness, but did not move away from her.

Carmen decided to take that as a good sign.

“This has been really nice, you know?” she tried, her usual confidence failing her, “just spending time with you like this.”

“I guess it was,” she replied with- Wait, was that a blush? No, that had to be wishful thinking.

“Yeah,” she agreed, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck, “and I just feel like-”

It was then that she was rudely reminded of what she was here to do.

“-you have got to be kidding me!”

“What?” Julia jumped a little in surprise.

“5 o’clock, behind you,” Carmen instructed.

She turned to look and there they were. Tall, blonde and scheming, and short, monochromatic and homicidal. The two thieves they were here to catch. Two thieves that had also noticed them.

They both smirked at them for a moment, before Paper Star whispered something into Tigress’s ear and they both bolted in separate directions.

“I go for Tigress, you go for Paper Star,” Carmen ordered as she bolted after her target.

Tigress was the fastest of the two, and the one most likely to pull dirty tricks on them. Unfortunately for her, Carmen was well-versed in all of those tricks, and of course had all her equipment on her. It’s amazing how much she could hide in just a red hoodie.

Soon Tigress had led the both of them out of the main building, ready to make a run for it and disappear into the city. Her mistake though, was going somewhere Carmen could use her grappling hook without worrying about damaging priceless works of art.

She swung after her, quickly closing the distance and knocking her down with a kick to the stomach. Tigress groaned as she forced herself back up, but instead of running again or getting ready to fight Carmen, she simply shouted.

“Come on!”

“Done running around?” Carmen taunted.

“Yeah yeah whatever,” she replied. Well that was unusual, “did you girlfriend catch Paper Star already?”

“What!?” She nearly jumped in surprise, “She’s not- we’re not- that doesn’t matter! You’re going to jail, for good this time.”

“For what?” she replied.

“Trying to steal from the Louvre!”

“Ah yes, because that’s the only reason we’d be enjoying some time together in the city of love,” she mocked and rolled her eyes.

Was she implying what she thought she was implying?

“Aww, babe,” a voice above them called. Paper Star leaned out of a nearby window and openly teased her partner in crime.

Babe?

“She caught you already?” she continued

Tigress groaned again, “not my fault you got easy mode.”

Paper Star jumped down and casually hooked her arms around Tigress’s neck.

“Well I’ve won,” she declared, “now where’s my prize?”

The last thing Carmen expected was for the two of them to kiss right there in front of her, and yet that was exactly what they did.

“I did not need to see that!” She complained.

“You were the one who interrupted our date!” Tigress complained back.

“Do you seriously want me to believe that you two were just spending the evening together in the Louvre as a date?”

“Was that not what you and your little agent were doing too?” Paper Star teased.

Carmen’s reflex was to say no, but… was that what they were doing? They had been walking around, sightseeing, talking and laughing and enjoying each other’s company and- oh god Carmen almost confessed to her back there.

This was her chance to have a proper date with Jules and it got ruined right at the finish line because of a mission that didn’t even exist in the first place!

She would have time to figure all of this out later, right now she had a job to do and two smug assholes to put in their place. Thankfully she already knew just how to do that.

“You’re right, it was very rude of me to interrupt your romantic evening,” Carmen raised her hands in surrender and backed away, “how about you two get back to what you were doing and I can arrest you both tomorrow?”

“What?” Tigress challenged, “no romantic chase over the rooftops of Paris?”

“I’m sure your girlfriend would love that,” Paper Star added.

“Actually I think Julia would rather just have you behind bars,” she shrugged.

Right on cue the ACME’s blue sleep gas finally reached the both of them, making them both drop on the spot. It was kinda cute how they were put to sleep still holding each other. Carmen almost felt bad for arresting them. Almost.

She pulled her grappling hook again and launched herself through the open window above, landing right next to a very proud Julia Argent.

“Two for one,” Carmen praised, “at this rate, pretty soon you won’t be needing my help anymore.”

“I appreciate the compliment, but I had my partner down there to keep them in place,” Julia replied playfully. Carmen’s heart skipped a beat at the word ‘partner’, even though she knew she meant it as coworkers.

“Always happy to play distraction for you, Jules,” she played along.

Taking another step forward, Carmen felt her sense of balance completely leave her as she accidentally inhaled some sleep gas fumes.

She tumbled forward, but before she hit the ground she felt Julia’s arms holding her up. It took her a second to shake away the effects of the gas, and another second to process the position they were in. How Julia was holding her like she had just dipped her in a dance.

For a moment they froze, staring into each other’s eyes as they held onto each other, until finally Julia helped her up again.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Julia apologized as she tried to fix up Carmen’s scuffed clothes.

“It’s fine,” Carmen assured her, “I should’ve been more careful around the sleep gas.”

Still Julia fussed over her, readjusting Carmen’s hoodie as she muttered a few more apologies. It took her a moment to notice just how close they were both standing now. The realization made her jump back a bit on reflex, but still she remained considerably close to Carmen.

She took a moment to collect herself before finally asking, “so uh- you had something you wanted to tell me?”

Carmen sighed in relief. Good to know those two hadn’t completely destroyed her chances.

“I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed our time together today,” she admitted, “before we got interrupted that is.”

Julia gave her a genuine smile that made her heart stop, “I enjoyed our time too. It’s nice to be able to talk about these things outside of work.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, feeling her confidence return bit by bit, “wanna do that again sometime? Maybe over some coffee.”

Jules seemed surprised at first as she caught on to what Carmen meant, but that expression was quickly replaced by a playful smile.

“Carmen Sandiego,” she called, “are you asking me out on a date?”

“Nothing escapes ACME’s best detective,” she joked, “I guess I am.”

“Then I’ll have to ask you to wait a little for my answer,” she asked.

Carmen opened her mouth to say that she was more than fine with waiting however long she needed, but she was frozen mid motion when Julia’s lips met her own. A quick, sweet little peck.

“I want to finish our first before we plan the second.”

#carmen sandiego #julia argent #carulia #julesthief #fanfic

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blogging-time · 4 years

Text

When I Kissed The Teacher

Dialogue Prompt List – Long List My Fic Masterlist

Prompt: “Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.” - Logan and Roman. (Friendship) - Submitted by @louisthewarlock

Summary: Roman Crowne has just been dumped by yet another co-worker. Logan Sanders makes it his personal mission to console the heartbroken Spanish teacher while also convincing him to turn off that godforsaken ABBA soundtrack.

Warnings: Post Break-Up (Not Logince), Alcohol Mention.

Pairings: Platonic Logince/Foreshadowing Romantic Logince, Past Royality, Past Prinxiety, Past Roceit, Background Intruality.

Word Count: 1,688

~ ~ ~

“Well this seems like a perfectly healthy and not at all counter-intuitive way to conduct oneself post break-up,” Logan remarked as he slowly entered the almost vacant looking Spanish classroom.

The sight awaiting him was that of his co-worker – Roman Crowne – sitting slumped over a rather busy looking table, his unusually messy head of hair tucked uncomfortably between his hastily folded arms. Surrounding him were various pages that Logan couldn’t quite decipher, as well as some familiar looking textbooks that Roman would use to teach his sophomore classes when the school board once again forbid him from making “Pan’s Labyrinth” an official part of the school’s curriculum. The most notable item at Roman’s disposal however had to be his mobile phone, as it was currently playing “When I Kissed The Teacher,” repeatedly on Spotify.

“You know most people actually knock before inviting themselves into a colleague’s classroom, right?” Roman half-heartedly muttered against the cheap plywood.

“Well you should know that most teachers actually prefer to work at their own desks instead of downgrading to a small student’s table. I guess we’re both just feeling a little unconventional today.”

With a heavy sigh and even heavier limbs, the Spanish teacher finally mustered up the energy required to pry his face off the aforementioned table. As soon as the pair made eye-contact, Logan couldn’t help but smile sympathetically at Roman. No matter how many times he found the man in this heartbroken state his tearstained face simply never failed to upset him.

“There’s a window,” Roman responded vaguely before Logan could even make an awkward attempt to console him. Then, upon recognizing the science teacher’s confusion, he unenthusiastically waved his hand and explained, “There’s a window embedded in the door to this classroom – I’m sure you’re well aware of it. Had I chosen to lay about and wail over my lost love at my own desk then surely any old passer-by could have caught me in my moment of lament.”

As sympathetic as Logan was towards his friend’s situation, he still couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how dramatic the man was being.

“Janus Marshall merely terminated his relationship with you, Roman. He himself is not deceased.”

“Hark! For his love for me is dead at least – dead and buried beneath the heels of some younger, prettier thing! Its ghost takes the form of the man I once danced with, and it taunts me as I pass him by in the corridor on my way to lunch.”

“Would you kindly stop and think rationally for five minutes instead of writing another soliloquy?” Logan may sound exasperated, but in reality, he simply hates seeing his friend’s thoughts spiral out of control like this. “Janus made it abundantly clear to you months ago that he would be migrating to England at the end of the year in order to teach Psychology at Oxford. Since neither of you were ever interested in long-distance relationships, I thought this break-up would seem inevitable to you.”

Roman visibly deflated upon hearing such a logical argument, yet somehow Logan didn’t feel victorious.

“I know… I suppose I just got a little carried away again. Deep down I’d honestly hoped we’d be able to make it work.”

“But why?” Logan asked, “Why would you allow yourself to get your hopes up time and time again? Every time you’ve dated a colleague your relationship has ended within six months or less.”

“Now hold on just a moment, Charles Rush-In! Just because I happened to date – and consequently was dumped by – a few of my colleagues doesn’t mean having a relationship with one is inherently flawed and destined to fail.”

“While your current statistics would highly suggest otherwise, that isn’t the part that concerns me the most. What concerns me the most is that you’re clearly upset or made to feel uncomfortable every time you’re forced to work with an ex-partner.”

“Name one example.”

“Patton Hart.”

“You mean the Home Economics teacher? I love Patton! Well… not in that way… not anymore at least… Yeah things were a little awkward at first… and then things got awkward again eight months later when he asked if I would be okay with him dating my brother… but both of us are on very good terms now!”

Logan quirked an eyebrow at that, but ultimately decided it was Remus’ responsibility to tell Roman about his current engagement plans.

“Okay then, what about Virgil Rae?”

“Ah yes, the English teacher who never stopped reading too much into things.”

“You and him seem to argue a lot.”

“To be fair we also argued before and during our relationship too.”

Logan clicked his tongue in perfect time with ABBA before naming, “Janus Marshall.”

“That’s a fresh wound! It’s hardly fair for you to twist the knife in that!”

“I can’t help but disagree considering you’re currently spending your lunch break marking papers and crying in your classroom just to avoid encountering Janus – something you wouldn’t have to do if he wasn’t your colleague.”

Roman couldn’t deflate anymore, so instead he was forced to sink further down in his admittedly rather uncomfortable plastic chair. Mentally he made a note to stop by the thrift store and his aunt Dot’s place after work to see if he could somehow acquire twenty-six cheap cushions that would make hour long lessons in these chairs more comfortable for his students.

“Why are you so determined to prove the successful office romance trope is unattainable?” he asked in a voice that already sounded so defeated.

“Why are you so determined to prove me wrong?” Logan countered.

Roman met Logan’s eyes for just a moment before completely averting his gaze. Logan coughed into his elbow for just a second in a manner that conveniently covered both of his cheeks. A minute passed, and neither man acknowledged either his or his co-worker’s sudden actions.

Eventually Logan decided to break that uncomfortable minute of silence with a sigh of his own.

“Do you have another class immediately after lunch?”

“Not today. I was supposed to be teaching Freshman Spanish for the next hour, but apparently Principal Sanders has called in a public speaker. I won’t have a class again until last period. How about you?”

“It appears I’m in a similar situation. I typically have the hour free after lunch on a Thursday until my Juniors come in for their Chemistry class at 2PM. If the circumstances today were any different then I would undoubtedly use this time to either grade my students most recent homework or to formulate a lesson plan for next week.”

“If the circumstances were any different?” Roman asked with a raised eyebrow and an only slightly watery eye.

“I have a bottle of Chardonnay in my car,” Logan answered. Then, upon recognizing the Spanish teacher’s concern, he quickly waved his hands and explained, “Your brother gifted it to me a few weeks ago, stating that it may help me to ‘loosen up around handsome men,’ - only he used far more vulgar phrasing than I. I can assure you that I would never drink and drive. I’ve simply never felt the need to consume alcohol since receiving the gift, and so I let the bottle sit forgotten in my car until now.”

“What? I haven’t driven you to drink already have I?” Roman joked, but Logan didn’t miss the way another silent tear disobediently slid down his still reddened cheeks.

Again, neither man acknowledged the sudden presence of emotion.

“Believe me, Roman, if any Crowne were ever going to drive me to drink then it would most certainly be that unfathomable brother of yours. My idea was more along the lines of… well…” The science teacher paused for a moment as he remembered how much more important Roman was to him than his reputation. “Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.”

Upon proposing the idea, Logan let out a nervous breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding. Despite the simplicity of their plan, inviting Roman to share a glass of wine with him during work hours just so that they could say negative things about their generally very respectable colleagues to him felt so deeply personal and borderline exhilarating.

Roman must have recognised how much the offer meant to Logan, as he too seemed shocked that the usually oh-so calm and collected science teacher would propose something so unorthodox.

“You want to share a drink with me now?”

“Well encountering your colleagues won’t be an issue after work hours – Perhaps if we start highlighting all of their potential flaws now, you’ll be less inclined to test fate and pursue another doomed relationship with one of them later.”

“Hey!” Roman shouted incredulously, but he was genuinely laughing now.

The sound was so infectious that his co-worker soon found himself chuckling quietly to himself.

“I’ll ask the canteen staff if they can spare two small cups so we don’t drink too much,” Logan offered, “Plus I keep more than enough spare change in my wallet at all times to ensure we can afford a cab ride home. We won’t be stranded here at school if you accept. All I ask in return is that you turn off that infuriating song – I’ve heard it more than enough times now, thank you very much.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr Berry,” Roman responded, his lips forming a playful smirk as he pretended to mull the proposition over. “What album would you suggest we listen to in its place?”

“How about ‘The Wall’ by Pink Floyd? I believe I still have that cassette sitting in my car right now, along with ‘The Dark Side of the Moon.’”

“Oh, wow…” Roman drawled as he blinked his eyes rapidly in only semi-feigned surprise. “I think you just aged ten years for every word you just said, Lograndad.”

“Of course, you can always just sit here and listen to the sound of Janus’ voice instead.”

“On second thought-” Roman announced, standing up rather quickly as he grabbed his nearby coat and bag, “-Pink Floyd sounds like an excellent choice. Why don’t you lead the way?”

~ ~ ~

General Tag-List:

@sholaghhh (Formerly @lunamay2006) @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @saphael-malec102 @anastasialestina @seraphlies

Additional Tags:

@sympathetic-deceit-trash

Note: It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a fic, so this tag-list may be a little outdated. If at any point you want to be added/removed from my tag-list then feel free to let me know!

As always, feedback is much appreciated! I was pretty out of practice here, so I’m sure I’d benefit a lot from constructive criticism!

For spelling, punctuation and grammar I followed Microsoft Word's English (UK) rules. Feel free to correct any errors you may find in the comments, but please keep in mind that some words are spelt differently here in the UK!

I hope you’re all have a fan-der-tastic day!

~ ~ ~

#Thomas Sanders #Sanders Sides #Roman Sanders #Logan Sanders #Logince #Background Characters:#Remus Sanders #Patton Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Background Relationships:#Intruality #My Fic #Post Break-Up #Alcohol Mention #Reblogs > Likes

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savysavannah · 3 years

Text

Challenge 1

Special thanks to @damian-schreave and @hadleyjaneharper for the rps.

Also the last section is not in fic format because its 2am, im lazy, and you get the gyst from the RP. Apperantly this is too long so part 2 soon.

The Prince was off in Paloma for a bit so we were of little use in the Palace, no idea why they had us move in so early. Therefore, I’d spent most of the day with some books I’d grabbed from the library. Primarily they were legal books since it never hurts to brush up. But every once in a while, such as now I’d need to go and grab some food.

I brought my notepad and a book on contract law with me and walked into the kitchen. There was another girl also in the kitchen. We haven't spoken to each other, she didn’t seem unfriendly or particularly awful company, just hadn’t really had the moment to. I grabbed a plate of fruit and wondered if she would say anything. After a moment I sat down and resumed reading.

Then a small sad sigh came from the young woman who was looking down at her phone with a sad face. It wouldn’t be too bad if I took a break for some conversation. However, the young woman looked troubled, she may not be in the mood. I yawned and stretched then mumbled, but loud enough for her to hear, “God, I could use a drink.” and wondered if the other would take the bait.

There was a beat before the other spoke, “Long day?”

“More or less. Lots of reading, missing work. How about yourself?”

She shrugged “Its...different than what I’m used to. Lots of sitting still when I’m used to spending my days moving around.” SHe grimaces then sighed, “The adjustment period is always the toughest, though.”

I thought for a moment trying to remember the occupations of the selected, “The dancer?” I asked.

She grinned “Yeah. Hadley.” She raised an eyebrow, “And you?”

“Lawyer.” I said and stood from the table, walked over to Hadley and held her hand out, “Savannah Mars, Labrador, three.”

She shook my hand, “Nice to meet you.” then thought for a moment, “You said you were missing work? Do you work at a law firm?”

“Kinda. I work for the Illean Civil Liberties Union in their legal division. It's a non-profit which focuses on civil rights and for me civil legal cases. Lgbt+ rights defense, domestic defense, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, that’s really cool.” She said, seeming actually interested in my work. “Are you missing the casework, or something else?”

“It's pretty hard for me to step back from my work. Since I'm kind of left worrying about my clients. A new guy took over my cases but I'm trying to still work in my own way by studying up on some legal sections I work in less frequently but still may come up. Such as contract law.” I explained not fully hearing her other question.

She nodded, “I understand, sort of. I’m left worrying about how my ballet company is going to perform, with somebody else taking over the role in the Nutcracker that I’ve had the past few years.”

“Yeah the transition really is nerve wracking. Have you seen them perform though?” I asked hoping that could at least provide some solace.

“I’ve seen pictures on Instagram, but no videos yet. We were just finishing up our performance of Cinderella when I left. Nutcracker rehearsal started a few days after, but it’s a show we do each year, so... “ She sighed “ It /should/ be fine.”

I nodded, “well if they assigned them the role try and have faith in their qualifications. That's what I'm keeping in mind for mine. They did go to law school so it's fine. They got the role so it’s fine.” I said partially for her and partially for me.

She sighed a little hesitant, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Competition is just gonna be a bitch and a half when I’m sent back.” She chuckled wryly.

“Well maybe you'll win and then you won't have too. Who’s gonna take a role away from the future queen of Illea.”

“That’s extremely unlikely to happen.” She then almost smirked “What about you? If you win, nobody’s going to tell you no in a courtroom.”

I laughed, “If I win I'll kill myself.” Then I realized how dark that sounded, though it didn’t seem to phase her.

“I hate to say that I feel the same way, but…” She shrugged and nodded, “I feel the same way” For a moment I was confused, why would she join if she felt the same way? Then it clicked, a dancer would be a five, lower class, need the money.

“You're a five right? Did you apply for the money? If you don't mind my asking that is. It would just make sense why you'd dislike to win.”

“It…” She bit her lip, “Kind of? It’s a long story involving a deadbeat mom, a shitty health care system, two starving artists, and a kid with leukemia.” She said with an apologetic smile. Whatever she’d be apologizing for I can’t say.

“Well shit man, I'm glad you got in then. Both for the money and for a break from that. I know this society fucking sucks and we've got a likely shit for brains hier, but if you ever need a lawyer I'm here to help. Hopefully, being a three now will provide some help for you too.” I said then caught myself making a mental note to not be so vulgar with my language.

She gave me a small smile, “Thanks. Now I just have to figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life, after throwing my career into dance, only to become a Three.” She laughed, “What about you? Why did you enter? It sounds like you had a pretty cushy gig going on.”

It wouldn’t be smart to tell the truth, but lying when Hadley had been so open felt wrong, I sighed and said, “My brother. Basically he forged my entry and I didn't want him to get into legal troubles for that. He's a fucking idiot.” I sighed and let that last cuss word slide as he is a fucking idiot.

She snorted, “Men really do only have two brain cells.” She gave a small smile, “I’m sorry that you ended up in that situation, though. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. I tried to beat him up but my other brothers stopped me. It was really a mess. Had to find out from a waitress asking for a photo with me.”

She shook her head, “My best friend told me that he was so upset to see me, “throwing my life away,” as if I hadn’t entered to help him and his brother.” Sounds like an ungrateful ass. She sighed and looked down at her fruit, “When did life get this messed up?”

A question with too big of an answer. A bit panicked and not knowing what to say I took a strawberry off my plate and held it out to her, “Fruit?”

She chuckled and took the strawberry, “Thanks.” She takes a bit, chews, and then pauses, looking at Savannah, “You know what I could really go for right now, though? A good gin and tonic.”

“God that'd be great. You know what, let's make some. One glass can't hurt.”

She shrugged, “Sure, sounds fun. I’m down.” She looks around, “I know they keep the wine in that cabinet, but I haven’t found the liquor yet.”

After gathering our ingredients we get to work making the glasses, “so, what's your plan in all this?”

“In the selection?” She raises an eyebrow and then shrugs, she starts pouring things into the mixer bottle, “Stay here for as long as I can so I keep making stimulus checks, and then get sent home before I’m stuck spending the rest of my life here.” She finishes pouring and looks at Savannah, “You?”

I sighed, “about the same. Give the money to the non-profit I work for. I was hoping I could root for you to win, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders to influence him, but the more I think about it the more I realize that's like damning to hell.

She snorts, “Well, I still appreciate the compliment, and I would’ve said the same about you.” Then she sighs, “I’ve always known that it’s been like this, though. He gets to squander every penny he has on luxury shit, whereas my paychecks…” another sigh, “But life isn’t fair.”

“Yeah. And then waste the money on useless shit and trying to pass dumb laws like making 'cats' illegal instead of actually fixing the problems in this country.” I said and poured myself a glass of the drink.

She poured some for herself and then shook her head with an eye roll, “Don’t even get me started on that debacle. Why even joke about things like that?”

“Because he doesn't comprehend how the people of his own country are suffering. He's just so blind with privilege. Not that I have much to speak on but at least I freaking try to think about others in the country and their situations.”

She gave me a small smile, “You didn’t seem like the type to blow your money on worthless things to me, at all. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when we have that interview in a few days.”

“Yeah I think im just gonna be polite for the sake of not causing a scene that'll haunt me my whole life” I said and took a sip, then clarified, “polite though, not kind.”

She nodded then drank too, “I really went from putting on one type of show for Twos to another.”

“Any idea what you're gonna do as a three?” I asked.

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “I haven’t taken a science or maths class since I was eleven, and I don’t have the money for university. I guess I could work as a translator, or if that doesn’t work out, marry a five and go back to dancing.” She took another sip of her drink, “Hopefully I’ll be here long enough to figure it out.”

“Do they not have like threes who are dance teachers? I haven't really looked much into the area myself but it may make sense.”

She shook her head, “For me, at least, it was mostly Russian immigrants who were former dancers themselves, so Fives.”

I thought for a moment, “Well if you ever need history lessons, english, or legal aid I'm around. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a business card, since it’s not like either of us plan to be here long, “Just all the way up in Labrador. Where are you from again?”

“Allens. So, not too far. Thanks.” She replied and looked at the card.

“Welcome.” I replied, finished off my drink then wrote down another idea.

Hadley narrowed her eyes curiously, “What are you writing?”

“Just an idea for a proposition with the ICLU. There are probably other girls in a similar situation as you being lower caste now upper be it through marriage or selection, it may be helpful to talk about implementing a caste readjustment program.”

She lifted her head, smiling just a little, “That sounds like a great idea.” Then a little quieter she added, “I'd appreciate it.”

“Hopefully my boss will agree and pass it onto the innovation department. I'll write a quick memo about it to her later.” I smiled happy to have something to do.

“You really love your job, don't you?” She asked.

I nodded, “It makes me feel like I have some kinda purpose. As cheesy as that is to say.” Making actual change in Illea instead of just prancing around doing whatever else I could have grown up to do.

“No, I get that.” She looked down, “As a kid, I never really felt like I belonged, but on the stage, dancing?” She looked a little distant, “Standing out was a good thing.”

I nodded, “Mhm. Have you thought of ways you could continue working while at the palace?”

She smiled, “Actually, I had a conversation with Prince Eaton about that, and I’ve been able to work out a schedule that allows me to still practice, even though I have to do a little more work to catch up on lessons.”

“That'll be good. If you wanted too you could put on a performance and donate the profits. That way you could be working towards a goal too instead of general practice.”

She tilted her head, “That's an interesting idea. I’ll keep that in mind.”

I nodded, “Well it was nice meeting you, Lady Hadley. But it is probably time for me to get back to work.” Then held out my hand to shake goodbye.

She took it, giving it a shake. “Nice to meet you too.”

It was pretty late in the afternoon by the time I was escorted to the interview room. Damian was in a navy blue suit jacket, dress pants, and a white button up shirt. He smiled at me as I got closer. His eyes flicker to my nametag for a second before he speaks, “Hello, Lady Savannah. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.”

I smiled trying to stay polite, then gave a small curtsy, “The same to you, your highness.”

He smiled back, taking a few steps back and gestured for me to go into the interview room. In the room is a sofa, surrounded by stage lights and a few cameras, what a romantic first meeting. There is one camera on a swivel stand, that is currently focused on Damian and I. He starts walking into the room, looking at me as he talks, "How have you found your first few days here, so far?"

I debated giving him a short one word answer of 'fine' but Danny's words of 'don't ruin your own happiness" slipped into my head. "They've been fine. I've enjoyed your library. It's helped me feel like I can in some ways continue working by catching up on legal matters normally outside of my areas of expertise."

He nodded while smiling then took a seat on the sofa, "So you're a lawyer, then? What kind of law do you practice?"

Reluctantly I sat next to him, hopefully I wouldn't catch an STD from proximity alone, "Yes, I practice primarily civil and criminal law with the Illean Civil Librities Union. So primarily defending people who are in bad situations due to outdated laws which need amending." My tone came out more passive aggressive than intended, but it was slightly justified as he should have been working to amend said laws and help people instead of partying.

"That's a great thing, to be doing. What got you into law?"

"Well I was at the University of Labrador. My best friend I'm the sorority I was in decided to go to a protest over women's rights in illea. We went, someone man came and antagonized some women, she defended herself verbally, got arrested, felt up by the officer, then was unable to do anything legally about it. I felt that was unfair so I decided to look into being a lawyer, liked the process, graduated in 2 years, went to Yale and here I am."

He lets out a low whistle, looking down for a second. I couldn't help but be a but prideful at my accomplishment, then looks back up at me, more serious than before, his jaw tense, "I'm really sorry that happened to your friend." He said and fell silent. What a conversation killer.

"It's fine." I said trying not to dwell on it, "How was your time in undergrad? Partied a lot, I saw." I said the passive agressiveness coming out again.

He smiled, a little more relaxed than before, but not as relaxed as he was when he first entered the room, "I enjoyed my last few years of freedom before entering the real world, yes." He then raised his eyebrows, grinning a little wider, kind of teasing, "And what about you? Being in a sorority and all, I doubt you were much of a homebody yourself."

I couldn't help but completely flush and bit down my urge to absolutely smack him upside the head. "It was a brief phase. It was fun. But also a waste of time." I chuckled a bit remembering my airheaded behavior in that year, "had I already been working harder I may have been able to finish faster and help more people."

He grinned a little at how flustered I was, which just made me want to punch him more, then smiled a little more genuinely towards the end, "We're still young. We have our whole lives to keep fixing things."

i frowned, "That isn't true. We never know when we're going to die. Something could always happen so we should be trying to help as much as we can. Not to mention while we" I paused after my slip of the tongue, but didn't correct it "partied in undergrad people were suffering who could have been helped."

There's a flicker of a frown on his face when I mentioned how short life is, but he lets it go, tilting his head when he looks at me, "We can't save everyone. That's impossible. We can try to do as much as we can, but there will always be more people in need of help.

"Partying isn't trying."

He raised his eyebrows, "You didn't even know you wanted to be a lawyer, back when you were partying in college."

I got kinda flustered again, he's right, there's no logically sound way to win. Yeah but I should have, I wish I had. Would have made the time a lot less regrettable." I said then cleared my throat, "Though, this is a bit of a heavy topic for our first meeting, don't you agree? Your- Damian." I barely corrected myself from saying Your Highness.

He chuckled, "A bit, but it's different from the surface level talk about work and provinces." He inclined his head, "Though, if you think about it, you never would have discovered your passion for law if you hadn't joined your sorority." He shrugged and gave a stupid grin which made me blush even more.

Finally I snapped and turned to point a finger at him, "You won okay. I can't regret something if I didn't know to do something better, but that doesn't make topless jello shots any less of an embarrassing memory." I exclaimed then heard what I said and wished to curl into a ball and die.

He chuckled a little, "We all have our moments. It's okay."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door then, and a guard pokes his head in. Damian nods at him, then turns and looks at me, "Unfortunately, we'll have to exchange stories another time. It appears our time today is up."

I sighed in relief at my rescue, then mumbled under my breath, "Thank God." I stood to curtsy, "Your-" I cringed a bit at the error, "Damian."

He chuckled again, "It was a pleasure to meet you Savannah. Until next time." He smiled at me when we got to the door, and stopped in the doorway.

I smiled back politely, "Thank you for the conversation. Till next time."

*savy was taking a break from her work and decided to out for a walk in the gardens. She had always been a fan of taking runs when stressed snd the gardens were providing a peaceful alternative. She was walking around when she thought she saw a bunny in the bushes. Being the gal she is she wanted to see it closer so she stepped off the path and walked into the gravel. Immediately her heel sank in the gravel. She lost her balance for a moment but didnt fall. Instead she panicked. She debated stepping out of her shoes to get it out but she didnt wanna hurt her skin on the gravel. Instead she tried to wiggle it loose and hopped no one was near*

*rip savannah, but Damian is out distressing by playing basketball at that point in time, and from where he's standing as he shoots this basket, he can see someone clearly struggling with something in the gardens. he can't see who it is, or what the problem is, but he figures he should go check it out. he tucks the basketball under one arm, jogging towards the person he can see, calling out* Hey, everything okay?

*savannah hears him call out an knows immediately it's the last person in the world she'd want to find her like this* Absolutely peachy! *calls back and debates ditching the shoes*

*he slows to a stop when he gets closer, his eyes going from savannah's face to her foot* Mmm, looks like you've got yourself in a bit of a sticky situation, there.

*is extremely flustered* no situation at all. I said I'm fine. *aggressively wiggles the heel and almost trips so she squeaks but manages to catch herself*

*when he sees her almost trip, he lunges forwards to catch her before she hits the ground, but then she catches herself, so he's like "oh was that for nothing?" he looks down at the shoe, furrowing his brows, thinking* Here, let me help with that, before you actually fall.

I'm not going to fall and I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of defeating some gravel on my own

*he takes a step back* Alright... if you insist... *hes not going anywhere, just watching her, waiting to see what she'll do*

*huffs when she doesnt hear him walk away and continues to wiggle then huffs when shes not getting anywhere* Fine. If you're just going to stand there anyways you may as well help.

*he chuckles, setting the basketball down on the ground, kneeling down to look at the gravel and the heel, before beginning to dig the heel out with his fingers* Not the best shoes to walk off the path in.

*rolls her eyes* I didn't think about that. I thought I saw a bunny and got distracted

*he can't help but raise his eyebrows at that, grinning, twisting the heel a little to unscrew it from the gravel* Was it at least a cute bunny?

*his tone is a little teasing*

It was cute, be careful with your tone though when your face is near my foot. *once its free she steps back on the path so she doesn't sink again*

*he chuckles, joking* What, are you planning on giving me a royal nose job with your shoe?

You could probably use one. *offers a hand to help him stand back up*

*he picks up his basketball, taking her hand, still grinning at her, teasing* Maybe it's just the angle you've been looking at it from.

*stands on her tiptoes looking at his nose* Nope. It's a little off. Nose job it is.

*she pinches his nose* its a big flaw. Doubt you'll be able to get a wife like that

*he chuckles* I don’t know, my nose has never gotten in my way before

*considers* You're right, I'm sure that was just your sense of responsibility that got in the way.

*he raises his eyebrows* You know, I’ve never turned in an assignment late, or anything for work late. Never asked for an extension.

I somehow find that doubtful. Your reputation of being a loose partier precedds that of a responsible duitiful person.

Well, it’s the truth. *he shrugs* If you’re really curious, you could email my professors. It’s all about finding a balance. *he smiles*

*grumbles because he seems to be honest about it* What did you even study?

I dual majored in political science and marketing. You?

*sighs in relief* at least you werent a buisness major. Political Science and History for me on a prelaw track.

*he nods, smiling, genuinely curious* Did you prefer one over the other?

Probably political science. I mean I love history it's why I added it. For fun since it's just like learning stories and seeing the modern day impact of said stories. But political science felt more efficient. Like it helped me have a better understanding of the philosophy of political thinking which has helped me a lot in law. Plus I just liked the professors more.

*he smiles* Understandable. Good professors make it so much easier to learn the content

*smiles* yeah and lots and lots of highlighters. Did you have a favorite topic in political science?

*grinning* I took a really cool course on comparative political economies - I really like the economic side of things. That, and the classes I had to take on international politics. *he looks over at savannah* What about you?

Probably civil politics. I've always been a fan of civil work. I honestly thought about working for the AFEI instead of the ICLU but decided I wanted to do more personal legal work than policy legal work. But it's always been the work that has interested me more since it's important to bring up civil conflicts within the country and try to help as much as possible. But learning about where we came from in terms of The United States vs the civil policies of Illea was an interesting course for me, especially because of the overlap of History and Political Science.

*he nods as she talks, thinking that all over* I think work guided what classes I liked as well. Because beyond national politics, I also have to think about international politics, trade agreements, and maintaining Illéa’s position in the world.

*seems slightly surprised* so you actually liked your major? I assumed you just were kinda forced to pick it

I was kind of forced to, but I could still pick the classes that interested me more. *He shrugs* Plus I really enjoyed my marketing major.

*thinks for a moment* Can I ask you something and have an honest answer? No bullshit PR answer. I'm just trying to figure out if we can trust you to be our future king through this, at the very least.

Sure *he nods, pursing his lips a little* Ask away.

Do you actually want to be the king of this country? Like aside from the perks you have from it, do you care about the work?

I do care. *he pauses, swallowing* I really do. It’s just...it’s a lot of pressure to accept from a young age.

*she thinks for a moment* Noted. Thank you for your honesty. *Looks at the basketball* Do you play much?

*he smiles kind of sadly* Not as much as I used to. I’ve gotten a little busy helping to run the country, and such.

*gets an idea* Do you wanna make a bet with me?

*he grins* Depends on what it is

Basketball. I'm working on a program right now with the ICLU, a coworker wants to come visit me and discuss about it but appreantly work visits aren't allowed during this. If I can get more hoops in you'll arrange that?

*he furrows his brows* Better yet, I could just organize for your coworker to visit under the guise of another event going on. Just give me a few weeks to work out the details.

*kinda chuckles because shes competitive* oh? Youre scared you'll lose? But if that's what you prefer

*he laughs* No, I just know I’d win, and I’d hate to deny you the ability to see your coworker

Fine. You'll set up the meeting, then I'll just prove to you that I would win had their beem stakes.

*he narrows his eyes at her, extending a hand to shake, still grinning* Deal

*shakes it firmly then kicks off her heels planning to walk to the court barefoot.* Would be an unfair advantage for me to still be in them

*he raises his eyebrows* Why, they helped square up the height difference between us, at the very least *he chuckles*

*almost elbows him over that but barely stops herself* I don't need that help. I'm perfectly capable of crushing you independent of my shoes

*he laughs* I played basketball in uni, you know?

As did I. Well- not in a club. A guy who I was *ponders for a moment* acquainted with, played it therefore I played with him and his friends fairly often

*he raises his eyebrows* And how tall was your acquaintance? Because I’m used to playing with people my height, but also my mom and sister, who are - *he puts his hand somewhere around his shoulder because they’re 5’4” and 5’5”* - about this tall

He was around 6'3. His friends the same or more. Don't worry I'm well aware of the disadvantage of my height and very prepared to utilize it

*he chuckles* Oh, I’ve got to see this. *when they get to the court he starts dribbling the ball casually, walking towards the middle of the court* Do you want to start with the ball, or should I?

*thinks for a moment and puts her shoes down on the edge of the court and rolls up the bottoms of her dress pants a bit* You can start with it.

*he raises his eyebrows at her rolling up her dress pants, but he nods* Okay, if you insist. *he waits until he’s ready before starting the play*

*she walks up prepared to steal since she cant block*

*he starts dribbling more seriously, quickly maneuvering around her, taking three large steps with the ball, and then shoots a basket, and it goes in*

*she kinda huffs about that dislikes. But once he has the ball again she tries again, this time getting it and doing her UNDER THE LEGS MOVE AND SHOOTS*

*he turns around, a little in shock* That is not a legal move!

Hmmm *puts her finger to her chin very smug* I dont think it explicitly says in the rules that you're not allowed too. You use your height I'll use mine *VERY SMUG*

*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best 2 out of 3? Whoever gets this next shot wins, then

*SHES BEING COCKY NOW* Aw is the wittle princey calling it quits so soon? His fragile ego damaged? *bats her eyes teasingly*

*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best three out of five, then. *he starts dribbling the ball right from here he is, and it’s a long shot to his basket from there, but he’s pretty confident, so he goes for it, and somehow it actually goes in. he raises his eyebrows at her* Still think you’re gonna win?

*crosses her arms* That was luck. *goes to get the ball since shes closer*

Or just sheer skill. *he smirks a little*

*turns to face him just to roll her eyes and gets the ball. She then dribbles it back to the middle or something idk how basketball works*

*he follows her to the middle, standing in front of her, knees bent in that “ready” position idk wtf it’s called lmao*

*that position makes knees wide so she dribbles and goes to do her fast under the leg move again*

*he sees it coming this time, and takes a few steps back, keeps his arm in front of him to reach for the ball, which he gets, and then dribbles across to the the hoop he has to score in, taking the shot, and watching it go in again. he grabs the ball as it bounces back up, raising his brows at savannah* One more, or are you good? *he grins a little*

*huffs again and crosses her arm* Fine we'll call it at 3 to 1. But in my defense it's been awhile.

*he grins* Well, you’re always welcome to practice out here with me, if you want.

I can't tell if you're being taunting or not *rolls her eyes and walks up to him then holds out her hand to shake for the end of the game*

*he takes her hand and shakes, then gives her a genuine smile* No taunting. I mean it. I’d love to have someone new to play with.

I'll consider it then. I am getting slightly bored of your homes running path for exercise.

*smiles back even tho she doesnt wanna because it was a nice offer*

*he tilts his head from side to side* Yeah, the running trail through the gardens is kind of short. There are better ones /in/ Angeles, if you ever want to check them out

Not sure I'm allowed to just waltz on out of here, but I'd love the names of any you know. My grandmother lives near her so I'm sure I'll be visiting soon enough after this if not immediately so.

*he shrugs* I could also drive you sometime, if you want. I /do/ have a car.

*seems a bit surprised* You know how to drive?

*he furrows his brows* Of course! I got my license as soon as I was legally allowed to.

But its not like you need too? Don't you have like drivers?

*he looks a little confused and taken aback* I’m sure some exist, but why would I want someone else to drive me when I could be free and drive myself?

I'm not sure. I just know rich people, like for example my cousin *mumbles for a moment to find the phrasing* So my grandmother is in charge of the Mars Candy Corporation. My mom's older brother Nathaniel will be taking over it, his kids also my cousins all have drivers. They're like twenty something now but Jackson is always bragging about how he doesn't have to take the effort to drive himself places. I just assumed other people who could afford them would have them, especially busy people who could work instead of drive.

*he blinks* Wow, I never even would have considered that. *he shakes his head* No, I like driving. Being able to roll the windows down and blast the music...it’s like a few moments of freedom. *he shrugs, smiling a little sadly*

*she noticed the smile then something clicks* so freedom is your vice. You act out to feel free, thus the partying. You mentioned earlier the responsibility of being a prince being am influence on the partying. A lack of freedom makes sense. *she knows shes getting too personal but her curiosity and worry for the future gets the best of her* But what does that mean you're going to do when you're king? You'll have even less. How do you plan to maintain that restriction without bursting and needing freedom?

*he stiffens a little at her analysis because damn it’s spot on, but sighs towards the end* Getting as much out of life as I can now. I always knew what my future held for me. So I can plan accordingly. *he forces a small grin, trying to joke* Besides, with any luck, I’ll be old and almost out of energy by the time I’m king.

*furrows her eyebrows concerned* That doesn't work. *sighs* Believe me I'd know. But we aren't wired to run off memories. Instead we develop habits and coping mechanisms. Everyone snaps from time to time, you'll go back to what made you happy last. For you I assume that'll be partying. Which is something you can't do as king, and assuming it wont be till your old isn't right either, regardless of if that was a joke it's not something that you can lean on since millions of people could be relying on you and you'd be unprepared. You are going to be king, You are not going to have freedom, you are going to be under immense pressure and responsibility, honest answer, what are you going to do when you need to snap?

*he narrows his eyes at her, this time more out of irritation than anything else, and he’s a little sarcastic* Gee, thanks for the reminder. Though, for the record, I /haven’t/ partied since uni, and I have no plans to in the near future. So perhaps I’ll rely on my other coping mechanism, such as basketball, or taking a drive.

Yeah well it's the truth and uni wasn't that long ago. It's hard to break habits. I mean I partied like 4 times a month in undergrad and I still use it. That was forever ago but that's not how humans work. You're gonna lean on what you've leaned on. You're going to get shitfaced, you're going to want what you used to have, you're gonna idolize those times in uni and want them back. But you're not going to have it and it's going to be hard and shitty but you have to tough it out because of the country that relies on you and this is proving to me that you're not going to be a reliable King for the people who need you.

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seyaryminamoto · 4 years

Text

A decade in review

So... I figured I’d join the corny crowd of people who are talking about their growth and achievements this decade. Looking back can actually help a lot when you lose sight of where you’re standing or where you’re going, soooo...

I started this decade halfway through writing an original story that I didn’t take all that seriously at the time. I was in ninth grade, so sure, I was young... and yet, as some people might know, I was clawing my way out of the worst depression I’ve ever faced. If you guys thought you’d seen my low points... yeah, no, I’ve never again hit a low point as badly as I did back then. Yet even though difficult things happened through the rest of the decade, I learned enough lessons from that early, terrible and distressing time (which happened at the end of the previous decade, to be precise, which is why it’s honestly not worth going into right now) that I managed to stay afloat, even if not easily, upon each new opportunity where depressions knocked on my door up to date.

Now, beyond my mental health, I was still in music school at the start of 2010, and I was certainly no longer as enthusiastic about it as I had been when I first enrolled. I didn’t realize at the time that my calling was something else entirely... and the more I wrote that story I mentioned above, the more I leaned away from one branch of art and towards another.

I think I got my first graphic tablet either in 2009 or 2010, at one of my birthdays. My sister dropped the pen on the first day, the tip broke and I flew into the worst of rages :’D she was so apologetic about it, I don’t think I’d ever seen her quite so remorseful, which was why I toned down eventually and cut her slack, did my best not to bring it up again... anyways, I learned to draw with that thing despite the malfunctioning pen, and the first artworks I did weren’t exactly brilliant... here’s one of them, one of the few I actually finished :’D

... Safe to say, I’ve learned a lot since those days, right? :’D

(also, if anyone wonders, that artwork features the main characters of that original story I mentioned, the original file is dated for April 2010, so indeed, a file from early on in the decade :’D)

Slowly, but surely, my life started to revolve more and more around writing and reading/watching stories of all sorts. I’d spend hours and hours every day watching anime (yep, my weaboo phase in full swing!), I’d devour most books that fell into my hands, and I even ended up volunteering at a library (does it really count as volunteering if the government forces you to volunteer or else you can’t graduate from high school...? Hmmmmmm...). I actually chose that library because most other options were basically to play babysitter for either kids or senior citizens, and I sure didn’t think I was equipped to deal with either thing. A library, though, meant I’d work with books most of all, and I was pretty sure I’d be more useful at that job.

Cue the irony that, because I was apparently so helpful, they decided to give me more important duties, such as DESK DUTY, because the other volunteers weren’t as trustworthy as me, and bye-bye to working directly with books. Haha. Sad.

But that temporary, sort-of job at that library definitely changed my outlook on my future, even if it felt like such a fortuitous thing, something I was forced to do rather than choosing to do it of my own volition.

For all my life I’d felt a ton of pressure because my family is always more science-oriented than any other I’ve ever met. So I had to excel at school because that was expected of me (all my siblings had, so I couldn’t lag behind them, I’d been disgustingly competitive with my siblings for too long to reason with it yet), and I actually was decent at science subjects. I blindly thought that science was the only possible path for me in life. I was seriously planning on going into engineering because I more or less enjoyed chemistry... but every time I thought about what it meant to finish a major in engineering of any sort, I always ended up asking myself one question: would I have time to write in that sort of career?

The mere thought of office work, lab work, which were guaranteeed to be the best thing I could aspire to once I finished college for engineering, sounded like a morbid funeral march to me. I honestly found myself thinking that’d be a waste of my life. And that’s not to say anyone who actually spends their life that way is wasting theirs, but I KNEW it wasn’t my calling.

One day, while at that library, I realized what my actual calling was: I wanted that life. I wanted to work with books, whether making them or writing them or selling them or just about anything to do with the business. A mix of my crazy storytelling passion with that particular job experience brought me to the conclusion that I needed to forsake my family’s big ole’ scientific legacy and to make my own choices. My three siblings could easily enough carry forward that “legacy”, I could do my thing instead.

I think that decision, which took more courage than I thought I had, was probably one of the best I’ve made in my entire life. Telling my mother I’d go into literature was NOT easy and I literally had to make the equivalent of a sales pitch for her to agree to it, investigating all I could about the career, researching as much as possible to show her there WERE career possibilities I could pursue if I chose this major, until she finally relented. And that success meant I was off to a whole new world of crazy once I graduated from high school.

Which I did indeed, in 2012. I wouldn’t start college until 2013 because my major’s first semester wouldn’t start until March, so I had a nice long break because the school year, in my country, ends in July. I had been exhausted of studying at the time, so the break was absolutely welcome.

In the early stages of that time period, I actually finished that big ole’ original story of mine, and I couldn’t have been prouder of myself for it, even if I was sure I’d never show it to anyone. I was embarrassed of it, to a fault, because there was a lot of ridiculousness in it, the plot was all over the place despite following the storytelling beats I’d learned through the many anime I’d watched, and eventually it evolved into something completely different from what it started out as. I sometimes allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to write a big story that I could share with people and hopefully get more than a handful of readers for... Still, I tucked my original story away safely, because even if it was embarrassing, I was proud of what I’d learned with it. So I went on with a new original story, one I was DEAD SURE I’d be a better writer for, and that I would be much more successful with.

My sister visited us during that summer, and she showed me, my other sister and my mom, a certain TV series that she had very much enjoyed despite we had never thought much of it back when it was airing.

I’d seen a couple of episodes back in the day, but none had quite impressed me. The first episode I saw had made the show appear like some sort of lame “villain of the week” show, and the second one (I probably only caught the second half of this one) had such mixed values and morals that I was completely appalled by it and decided it wasn’t my thing. Then I, uh, also watched the final minutes of the final episode and it seemed so very melodramatic for the SCARRED GUY to ask SOME IMPRISONED GUY where his mother was, only for the show not to address the answer at all and cut to a pair of kids kissing on a balcony.

Sooooo... my very unimpressed self had decided ATLA wasn’t my thing because of The Great Divide, the Southern Raiders and the last three minutes of Sozin’s Comet: Avatar Aang :’) I’m funny that way.

This time around, watching it from scratch, I was slightly more interested in it because the first few episodes DID look like there was a coherent plot that was going somewhere. So even though my mom and other sister didn’t keep watching (at the time), I decided to watch it by myself because well, why not?

... Cut to seven years later and here I am, still neck-deep in this particular, dark corner of that specific show’s fandom. September of 2012 was when the Seyary you all know came into existence (?)

I won’t lie and say my experience in this fandom hasn’t been a damn rollercoaster in its own right. I certainly started off with WAY more enthusiasm than I have now, just look at my Author’s Notes from my first stories or Gladiator’s first chapters and read my hyped notes for yourselves :’D I definitely was caught by the magic of the Avatarverse, the characters, so much about ATLA seemed to exude potential and, after being disappointed by the popular anime of the time (*cough* SAO *cough*), ATLA (and later LOK Book 1) were a breath of fresh air for my weaboo brain that was sick and tired of some really annoying tropes anime seemed to be throwing at me left right and center (I’M SO DONE WITH THE IMOUTO FETISH TO THIS DAY, I CATEGORICALLY REFUSE TO WATCH OR READ ANY DAMN STORY WITH ANYTHING FEATURING THAT GROSS AND FUCKED-UP CONCEPT).

So I enjoyed ATLA a lot, and then LOK Book 1 (I virtually watched all of that in one day and had REALLY HIGH HOPES for the next seasons. Heh. I’ll leave that as that). And like everyone who gets hyped about fandoms, I decided I needed to look up more stuff about it! Art, fics, you name it! And while I really enjoyed LOK back then, I had thought Korra’s story would unfold in a cool way in future seasons, since all four of them (I think) had been confirmed by the time I joined the fandom... whereas I was dissatisfied and in dire need of fix-it situations for my favorite ATLA character.

I started off looking for general Azula fics. Then, as usual, I started testing ships for her. There were some ships I never saw the point to, and I shall not name them, there were some ships I saw partial potential to but I wasn’t exactly thrilled about them, so again I shall not name them...

And then one day I was scouring DeviantArt and came across the gem you all know about, which I’ve gushed over for all these seven years as the entire reason I converted to this particular ship.

Secret Kiss by Saniika can be credited, 100%, for planting the seed of Sokkla in my head. I didn’t understand it right away, why lie, but I was definitely intrigued. All other Azula ships I’d found were shipped for obvious reasons, easy enough to pinpoint even if none was all that satisfactory for me... so I was confused by this one, absolutely. Why would someone ship this ship? Why would they ship it so hard as to commission such quality artwork about them? The same commissioner’s name popped up in pretty much every single epic artwork about these two at the time, and I was completely blown away by that. To be so dedicated to a ship, to make all those artworks about a huge story about them that I couldn’t seem to find in FF.net at the time...

Cue the surprise when I actually ended up befriending said commissioner barely a few months later, and she’s hands down one of the best friends I’ve ever had :’)

Still, no need to head into that particular territory right now xD I was curious about the pairing, but I was also wary. I looked for fics, none really seemed to tell canon-compliant stories about how they could have gotten together post-ATLA... at least, not while they were still young. I looked at a few stories but nothing really hit home yet.

Back in these days, I used to go to... gosh, the cringe of just saying so, to FACEBOOK for fandom purposes of all kinds. Yeah, I know Facebook communities aren’t necessarily terrible, but I sure as fuck ended up in all the wrong ones :’) so... heh. I befriended someone who had an Avatar page, and while in conversation with him, the subject of LOK’s Pro-Bending came up. We talked about how much fun it would be for ATLA’s benders to play it. And so, a few weeks later, on a bus ride back home after meeting some high school friends, I allowed the idea to blossom further. And suddenly I was 100% caught up in it, deciding I’d have to feature Azula somehow, and I decided to try my luck at doing that by making her Sokka’s girlfriend :’D his inexplicable girlfriend, at the moment. All of it, just for shits and giggles. Because why not!

So I wrote that story, both because of that momentary bout of inspiration and because my second big original story was falling apart on me due to world-building reasons. Do NOT ever talk to me about Celtic calendars. If you do, I will block you into infinity (?). So yeah! A writer’s block caused by Celtic calendars resulted in my decision to calm down by writing something else for a change.

I had little hopes to finish Origins of Pro-Bending, simply because I didn’t write fics. Whenever I had tried to write any around those years, it had NOT gone well. I had always fallen apart after a couple of chapters, failed to keep up the momentum, fumbled the story as a whole in the end. So I decided to take this easy, and I posted it to FF.net despite not being sure I was ready for that: I hadn’t written a story in English in AGES, and you do NOT want to know what was the story in English I’d written before this. You do not. If you even ask, I WILL BLOCK YOU EVEN MORE THAN I DID WITH THE CALENDAR! *heavy breathing*

Okay, so... back to the topic, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t really expect much, because I figured not a lot of people would really care for anything I posted. But then... that view counter started to shift. The numbers kept going up, and the more chapters I posted, the more it did. The reviews also poured in, slowly at this point, and then in a certain chapter there were NO REVIEWS AT ALL. Which I considered a fail. I honestly thought it meant my story was a flop, a failure, and I should just STOP because NO ONE CARED.

... Have I ever been accused of being overly dramatic? If not, it’s only because I hide it relatively well... sometimes :’)

But I said “it’s okay, I’ll finish it. My friend wants to read it after all, and I’ll just write it so he can see it to the end. I’ll finish uploading on FF.net even if no one cares anymore, because maybe someone someday will want to read it, even if no one does now”.

... Overly dramatic Seyary then finished her story and halfway there came up with the idea for a NEW ONE! The PREQUEL! The story of how Sokka and Azula fell in love! All by listening to The Reason. And as much as I had thought I wouldn’t keep writing fics after OoPB, that idea was too powerful to ignore. So when OoPB picked up reviews and views all over again and ended with what I considered was a BANG, I said “THIS SHOW’S NOT GONNA STOP HERE!” and I went and wrote the Reason next, obsessively, literally pushing through the entire, near 100K story, in A MONTH. I honestly wrote every day. I’d NEVER done something like that :’) Granted, I was pretty constant with OoPB, but it was shorter and I wasn’t quite as psyched about it as I was with The Reason.

Honestly, The Reason is where I REALLY fell for Sokkla, for everything that it was, for everything that it could be. I had felt its potential since OoPB, and I had concluded Sokka could make Azula smile like next to no one else could... that is, if anyone else could at all. But the whole spectrum of it, the storytelling potential, the development of both characters... I hadn’t understood it yet. And by the time I did, with The Reason... wow, there really was no turning back.

So I ended up writing that, and then I wrote Break In and How They All Reacted. And in between I made a few AMVs that Viacom NICELY tore down and are no longer available for you guys. Sorry ‘bout that. I did what I could.

The thing that was getting to me most, though, (and, why lie, feeding my ego a bit too much) was looking at FF.net’s data spreadsheets, available only for each user: it wasn’t so much the number of readers, which did overwhelm me on its own right anyhow... it was the places they came from. The fact that I could see, according to this data, that people in South Africa were opening my story, in Romania, in New Zealand, in Singapore... I had allowed myself, very briefly, to imagine I would one day publish books and that they might not be complete fails, but I NEVER expected anything I wrote to be read by people who lived halfway across the world, who had entireliy different cultures from my own, who had no idea who I was but wanted to find something to read and had decided to click on my story, amongst all the many possibilities. That particular function of FF.net is probably my favorite on that site, like I said not because of the numbers but because of the places. Even if your readers aren’t outspoken or they don’t even bother favoriting, following or reviewing... they still count in ways they don’t imagine. They may just look like one more number on FF.net’s spreadsheets, but when that number is connected to a location it feels much more real, I think. As an author, that means that’s one more person, somewhere in the world, who decided to give my story a chance.

On a day of February, 2013, one such person left a review I really enjoyed and that I thanked him for profusely. In his response, he brought up that he had been watching documentaries about the Roman Empire and he had thought about an AU for ATLA where maybe Sokka was captured by the Fire Nation and turned into a gladiator, only to become Azula’s sponsored fighter later on, a fighter she’d want to sponsor merely to stave off boredom. He was bringing it up to me because he didn’t want to write it himself, and he thought maybe I would be interested in trying my hand at it since I seemed so passionate about Sokka and Azula.

At first I only thanked him for the idea, said I wanted to focus on my canon-based stories instead and I was sooooo not interested in AUs at the time...

Ahahahaha.

AHAHAHAHA.

Joke was on me the whole time.

As I’ve mentioned, I went to bed one day, about a month later, and my brain exploded with the possibilities of this story. I told this guy, he was thrilled. I told my closest fandom friends at the time, they were STOKED. One of them told me to get off my ass and start writing that ASAP. Which... I followed through with. Immediately.

It feels a bit strange to think I’ve been writing the same story for nearly 7 years now, with next to no breaks, with such persistence I barely can recognize my early 2010′s self from that. Nope, no worldbuilding nonsense stopped me here: I FIGURED THINGS OUT. I worked through it all. And then I figured it out some more.

Back when I was first scouting the fandom’s fanfiction archives (in FF.net in particular, seeing as I didn’t even have an AO3 account at the time), I remember looking at the biggest, top reviewed stories and wondering how it would feel to be the author of one of those. Most those stories had gotten started either early in the show’s run, or just earlier that same decade... nothing I did was bound to pick up that much steam, I thought, especially when I was writing about what was, by all means, a rarepair that I posted about on Tumblr to like... 8 notes per post. At best.

The first time someone sent me an ask to let me know Gladiator had made it into the first page of top reviewed fics I nearly fell over myself in shock. Admittedly, I’ve gotten used to the feeling by now... but at the time I could barely believe I’d come THAT far without really expecting or meaning to.

I’ve really dealt with a lot of nonsense alongside with the story, ups and downs, highs and lows, nasty situations just as blissful ones... people making art for my story was certainly an incredible highlight. That, as well, is something I did NOT think would ever happen to me. Unlike the top-reviewed page thing, it’s actually impossible to get used to art about your fic xD it’s always amazing.

And I’ve met people from all around the world, made friends far and wide, reached heights I didn’t think I would. I’ve said I’m much more jaded these days, it’s true enough, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost sight of what this story means in the long run. Gladiator truly is the best story I’ve ever written, in just about every regard. Is it perfect? Have I made nothing but right decisions with it? Nah. But that doesn’t mean I’m not absolutely proud of it for what it is, for all the work I’ve poured into it, for every moment spent building that story into what it is and for how far I’ve come thanks to it.

Everything else in the decade really feels like a blur because of Gladiator, but I’ll say that I’ve as good as finished college by now (while writing Gladiator :’D), I have written all my thesis and am stuck waiting endlessly for my supervisor to goddamn answer me already to say whether I’m ready to go forward with the presentation yet and GRADUATE! But until then I’m stuck waiting on that, even if my college career is pretty much over.

As for my work experience... heh. I had two of those this decade. One... writing clickbait articles. Wow, was that shitty. I hated every second of it. I was pretty sure I was killing people by doing that, because some people are indeed gullible enough to believe the shit I was forced to write. And the pay? It was SHIT. So, as soon as I had a good excuse, I kicked that particular door shut and got out of that mess immediately. And then I got my TV station job too... which started great, and ended up being another shitty disaster. While it had some really wonderful highlights, I made friends with this senior, wonderful video editor who was endearing beyond belief, I learned a ton of things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise (like having the patience to put up with an iMac from 2009 in 2018, to name one thing!), but I also had to endure REALLY dreadful management that led me to even wonder how the damn network was even on-air half the time. The experience in that network taught me a lot about what to expect in work environments, and to NEVER trust the tried, boring and true “this place feels like a family!” claim. Half the time it’s like they don’t realize families are usually complicated, full of unpleasant power-based relationships, secrets, resentment and problems of all sorts. So sure, the workplace might be like a family. Definitely not like a GOOD family, though.

And speaking of families... I’ve developed new appreciation for mine over these years, just as I’ve grown enough to see the cracks everywhere, the problems, even all the way to realizing even an allegedly dream-like family like my own can absolutely be torn apart by miscommunication, pride, stubbornness and refusal of members to acknowledge their wrongdoings. I’ve done my best by my family despite that’s not saying much, I’m indeed a lazy butt who spends way too much time on a computer writing crazy stories rather than working around the house... but I think I’ve never felt more loved and appreciated by my parents as I have in recent times, especially this year. We’ve talked more, opened up more, they’ve even told me the story of how they fell in love (the growth of their relationship all documented through PHOTO ALBUMS!!), they’ve leaned on me in hard times and I think we’re tighter than ever.

On the downside... my grandfather died during this decade too. To this day the loss stings, even though by all means we weren’t the type of super-close grandfather and granddaughter who spend every waking moment together. But the thing is... we were so different, with so little in common, and yet that man loved me so genuinely, so unconditionally I could barely understand it. What had I ever done to be so important to him, beyond being his youngest granddaughter? I always had thought he would feel closer to other of his grandchildren, those who had more things in common with him, and yet when my grandmother died he wanted me to sit with him on the car on our way to the funeral, and just holding my hand seemed to help him gain strength to face what was coming.

In his final moments he hardly recognized anyone, not even my dad, his son. He kept talking about his childhood home, as though he had returned to his youth and forgotten where and when he was, losing all connection with time and space. But when my dad told him I was there, visiting him... he smiled. And he called me the nickname he always used for me. To the last moment, he knew who I was. I mattered, even if I didn’t know why. When they told me he had passed away I cried, and I cried some more, and to this day I feel like crying for it still, sometimes. I will never, EVER doubt my grandfather truly loved me, and I’ll always carry that with me, no matter where the world goes. I’ve lucked out with this family, but I’d never known unconditional love like the one he always showed me. He was a special man, and losing him certainly was one of the saddest moments in this decade.

Aaalright, so, on a less emotional note... I’ve certainly improved a fuckload with my art, which you all must imagine after the glimpse at one of my earliest artworks up there. That I’ve gone from that to this...

speaks for itself, I hope :’) It’s supposed to be same characters, this one was finished earlier this month. I didn’t post it until now because I frankly didn’t expect anyone would understand what it was or care for it much x’D but it seemed the right opportunity to post it now, especially when talking about art growth.

In any case, I may still have a ton of anxiety to this day, and I definitely am not as confident in many areas as I was when the decade began, I realized I honestly don’t have all the answers and I always have to be ready to learn new things from people, no matter who it is. There’s some regards in which I haven’t progressed enough in, why lie... but I’m hoping the next decade will bring meaningful changes in that department, such as my plans to leave the country, which should come to fruition by next year around March, if all things go according to keikaku (I’ll surely have to return after 6 months, but it’s better than nothing at least). And of course, I do hope I’ll continue to grow as a writer, that all this experience with Gladiator will mean I’ll be 100% ready to write any future original stories I want to (and that I’ll be able to rewrite that specific story and move beyond the slump I fell into because of the DAMN CELTIC CALENDAR!!).

Also, just in case I didn’t get it across in other posts where I mentioned it, I revisited that old original story last year, and despite the messes and mistakes and ridiculousness of it... I love it more now than I ever did before. I’m really proud of it. I know most people cringe at everything they wrote when they were younger... I honestly can’t do anything but look back in pride. My starting point was the best one it could possibly have been.

Now, what’s my resolution for the next decade?

Finishing Gladiator

Yeah, there’s probably going to be other stuff I’ll want to do too. But for now, that shall be the priority. It won’t take just a year, it probably won’t take two... but I will absolutely see this big, chaotic baby to the last moment, and I will savor and suffer and cry and rejoice every step of the way. There is much left I want to achieve, many new objectives to conquer, and I’m going towards them with as open a mind as I can muster. May this 2020, and the years that follow, mark a new starting point that I’ll look back on with pride, just as I can do the same with where I started off in 2010.

Happy New Year to all of you who read this really long post, and I really hope you have a great year and decade, and starting point of your own, in 2020.

#seyary rambling #sorta personal but #you're all welcome to read it #if you have like #20+ minutes to spare #did anyone ever praise me for brevity #no they did not #should i be proud of that #no i am not #that's one more thing I probably should learn in the coming decade #to cut myself slack #and my words #because I ramble too much :')#anyhow #happy new year to all of you through the tags in case you don't care to read the post #it has been one really crazy decade #one I never expected to end the way it is ending #but admittedly I've come much further than I ever thought I would #may the next decade be better though

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

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PETUNIA

Assistant Lila AU!

Link: AO3 | FFN

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Original Female Character(s)

Description: Unknown always wanted to have his own assistant. One that is bathed in wisteria and petunias, covering their throat until they suffocate or give in. There are some things that he can’t do by showing his face and that’s where someone who was very much his equal in sense of the word would be able to help him achieve the goals of Paradise. He’s got his eyes set on somebody and surely, with her, the success of Mint Eye is ensured.

Based on the Prologue’s Bad Ending. A standalone fic that can read without reading any of the other stories in the series.

This Chapter is a long one!

Chapter One | Chapter Two |

3: Angry Too

"You're mine, you know that?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Unknown."

"Oh? Really?"

"That isn't how you win a girl over, let me tell you. It wouldn't hurt for you to be a little nicer to people every now and again."

"As if I'm going to waste my time when we both know how this ends."

He awoke in a stupor.

It seemed like he had lost time again.

While it wasn't the first time that had happened to him, it felt strangely different this time around. Unknown was used to that as it had happened often during his entire life, periods where his awareness was fuzzy and when he would suddenly awaken from a daze in the middle of the day only to realize that six hours were missing.

The elixir had its downsides.

It also had benefits.

It hurt at the moment but he would soon feel stronger than he ever had. That was how it worked on him. People who were weak and foolish on the inside needed a reminder of their place every now and again to show them. For Unknown, he needed it to reignite his rage.

It helped him reach his potential and the Savior was always right in her judgments.

Unknown couldn't remember when they came for him but he knew that it had been a long time that his body underwent the ceremony. It was a precaution of sorts or something along those lines; All he knew was that his arms had been held down as they forced the glimmering elixir down his throat until he was gasping for air.

It wasn't a punishment, per se. The Savior just hadn't been pleased with his actions as of late, sure, she let him keep his new assistant, but her trust of the woman was wary. Outsiders brought into Magenta were always given a keen watching before they were accepted and she wasn't one that the Savior picked herself, Unknown had picked her for himself.

He had faith in his princess.

The price of that faith was taking his licks.

It wasn't hard for him.

He was used to pain and used to what it would do to him. Pain was just a part of life. Pain just happened whether you liked it or not. A lifetime of pain was nothing compared to a few hours or days. So, he hadn't entirely been all that bothered by what happened.

It wasn't something that would happen again to him, because soon he would be able to give and administer the ceremony to his Lila and that pain would shift into something far from something ugly into a beautiful symphony.

What felt frustrating surely would become something that he loved, and he was looking forward to the day that he could save her. The insufferable pain that happened when he was alone… would be far gone. Content in paradise with the one that he wanted so much.

It would be perfect.

The only thing better than saving Lila would be the eventual satisfaction he would feel when he was given that traitor's head on a platter. But, he was getting ahead of himself. There would be much more planning to be done.

Only a matter of time, he would remind himself. Only a matter of time until it was the right moment to let her join them. He just needed to prove to his Savior that she was worth it, and she seemed to be thinking in a positive way after she spoke with the girl.

Speaking of which, he needed to get up and figure out how much he had missed and where he needed to make up for the lost time. Unknown tried to sit up but he fell right back against the cushions not long after; He winced in pain and gripped his head.

It was a small buzz of electricity in the back of his eyes that warned him not to move. Irritating, of course, but he knew better than to rush right after this.

He would often ignore whatever his body was telling him but for some reason, it felt like there was a weight on him. His lungs would burn and his joints would ache but he never felt as heavy as a bag of bricks.

That was a new kind of symptom, right? It had been months of taking the elixir for him and he doubted that something new was happening.

That meant that the only possible answer left was—

Lila.

Unknown quickly realized that it wasn't, in fact, his head playing tricks on him this time, that weight wasn't a new symptom. She must have helped him, right? It didn't make sense to him.

He couldn't place a memory beyond being carried back to his workroom by the guards but it seemed like somebody had taken the time to keep him from sleeping on the floor.

She was still asleep by all accounts. He didn't know how long she had been awake or waiting for him to return.

It must have worn her out.

Somebody… worried about him.

She… worried about him.

Her dainty fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt so tightly it seemed like if she wasn't doing so, he might leave her grasp. Her head resting against his chest and curly locks splayed out a bit from tossing and turning. She looked so peaceful. There was always a lingering worry in her expression when she was awake, so to see her look so at ease, and in embrace nonetheless, made him pleased.

"Mmm…"

It wasn't the first time that he had been this close to her body, however, it was the first time that they had ever been this close in such an intimate way.

For him, this kind of intimacy was a strange and new feeling. He had never been this close to another person in his entire life. He knew the warmth of a hug from his Savior but this was a different kind of feeling in his chest.

He wasn't sure if he was supposed to like it or not.

Yet, he let her do these things anyway.

Lila always seemed to be testing the limits of how close he would let her get to him every day, and this was a new height. It was small the first few times, little brushes her fingers against the collar of his shirt when he cornered her, and little touches of her hand against his own when she made sure that he ate that day.

Unknown wasn't sure how they ended up like this but he wasn't going to complain about it. He would not admit it but he liked the way it felt when she cared about him. His Savior cared about him and cherished him but the way that Lila made him feel…

That was something else.

It was why he was so desperate to ensure her place in paradise.

The sooner that she was confirmed and the sooner that she was a real member, the sooner that he would be able to hold onto that strange feeling, whatever it was, forever. His goals were within his reach and the future that he was building for Mint Eye and himself were starting to come together piece by piece, and he wasn't going to let anything stop him.

It was only a matter of time.

For now, he would relish in the feeling that came with the feelings that Lila brought to him instead of casting them aside.

"Heh," he couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his lips. It was a bit weak and strange as it left him, as he couldn't understand why he felt this way. "I should get onto you for treating me like I'm weak like this… but, this time I'll let it slide. Just this once. Next time, I'll have to teach you a lesson about this and how strong I really am."

As if she didn't know from the way that he pushed her around and ensured his power by asserting his abilities. All it took was the wave of a hand and she was constantly stupified by his talents. She couldn't believe he had taught himself all of this in a matter of a year, or less, he still was a little hazy on the time.

Her fear had shifted to a kind of respect.

It made him feel strange. Like, a weird and dynamic way. Part of him wanted to push back against it and another part of him wanted to keep it close until she smothered him the way he smothered her back.

He liked the way her small hands clung tightly to him.

It was a reminder of how strong he was and how he could be. If somebody like that woman could like somebody like him then perhaps this really was a beautiful paradise. Mint Eye had felt like the prelude to a dream, but with Lila at his side, it felt tangible.

Unknown settled back against the couch and let Lila sprawl out against him. He needed to get back to work but he wasn't going to disturb her when this was the first time she sought him out.

A few moments longer… just a few.

That wouldn't hurt, would it?

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

It seemed like things had calmed down.

She and Unknown fell back into their little routine for a while, while he did his work and she did her work not far from him. Just because something happened and caused a few bumps in the road didn't mean that work was going to end. There was no stopping until things were completed and that path had no end in sight quite yet.

Sometime soon, hopefully.

These long nights without much sleep were becoming hard to manage. She dealt with it as best as she could but Unknown worked until he made himself pass out mid-sentence. The most that she could do for him during those moments was cover his shoulders with a blanket and sigh.

Lila understood that his goals were important but she didn't hide the fact that she was concerned about him. It wasn't any of her concern, though, as he could take care of himself. Which is what he would bluntly tell her time after time.

Yet, those conversations were brief and stopped before they got too far into something that would be against the rules. It was like trying to talk to a brick wall and everybody knows there's no winning a conversation like that.

Today, one thing was certain, Lila was frustrated.

It had been a while since either of them had been out of this room. It seemed to be the only thing that existed half the time. She wasn't sure how he didn't go stir-crazy from being trapped in someplace like this all of the time. This wasn't a place of security, at least, he didn't always feel like it was the most comforting place to be.

She sighed.

"That's the seventh time you've made that noise in the past half-hour," Unknown noted, his attention still on what he was working with and not on her. "If you're trying to tell me something with that then you should just say it instead of wasting my time with guessing games."

"...Oh, you noticed? I thought you were going to keep ignoring me instead."

He finished keying in the last string of code for this session, and shook his head, "As endearing as your sass is, princess, you should learn how to be direct. I don't like wasting my time with pleasantries. If you want something, tell me instead of wasting my time."

Her instinctual reaction was to pout.

It wasn't like they hadn't been spending time close to one another. As a matter of fact, ever since she had taken a leap of faith, he had been reaching out toward her and making more demands.

Today was no different.

That's why she had found herself on his lap, facing towards him as he spent his afternoon finishing off more of his work.

His excuse was that he wanted to keep a closer eye on her from now on, and he left it at that. Her excuse for the closeness was that she wanted to be sure that he was alright. There was just something satisfyingly gentle about the way it felt to feel the slow rise and fall of his chest and the beat of his heart so close.

It was a reminder that he was with her.

It was a reminder that she was with him.

Lila could feel his gaze linger on her but she continued to stare across the room at the wall. They had been just fine not saying much to each other but now that he had spoken there was no going back to that today.

She sucked in a breath and thought about how to phrase her question to him in such a way that would sound alright.

"It's just… it's been a long time since I've been outside," she said, quietly. "I'm not saying that I don't like being here with you. I just feel a little… trapped. I understand why I can't stray too far but I've been thinking about how nice it would be to go out with you."

"You haven't left this room in days, either. There's not a lot of time for breaks, I know. The mission is really important, no, it's crucial. It's just hard to focus when you can't concentrate. Sometimes it feels like I can't breathe. I just… wanted to know if it would be okay to take a break? Just a small one, you and me… together."

Unknown paused.

He didn't say anything for a long moment. It was like he was thinking over her proposal and weighing the options. She knew that it was asking a lot, and that's why she hadn't really brought it up.

She thought that she could and would make do with the circumstances that were given to her but she just couldn't help but feel… a little selfish. When she was with him… she could feel herself wanting more things that she had never really allowed herself to feel before. Her guilt with that was kind of strong.

Lila just wanted Unknown to be the smallest bit selfish.

He had gotten more obvious with his desires the more that she showed and opened up the possibilities to him. Lingering touches and lasting holds. He would silently beckon her to join him no matter what he was doing and she would find herself listening to him. That's how she wound up in his embrace like this.

"It was silly, I know, I'm sorry I brought it up," Lila mumbled.

Unknown clicked his tongue. He often did that when he was annoyed or bothered by her choice of words.

"Shut up," he told her, simply. "I hate when you talk like that. It's frustratingly annoying to hear you babble..."

That she did.

"...You like flowers, right?"

Lila pulled back so that she could meet his gaze. She cocked her head to the side, perplexed by his question. "Um, yeah? I guess you would have noticed that if you saw my social media when you did your background check. Why do you ask?"

Unknown weighed his options, but the scowl didn't leave his face. "There's a place I've been wanting to show you but there wasn't any time to do it. I'm ahead of schedule so I can take you outside if you really want."

Her brown eyes sparkled with such excitement at that notion. She couldn't stop the small laugh from leaving her lips as she hugged him tightly. "Oh, thank you! That means a lot to me. Now I won't have to nag you about getting some fresh air for the rest of the week."

He was true to his word and when he finished what he had, he took her by the hand and led her through the twisting and twirling corridors that seemed to make sense to nobody but the believers and himself until they stopped at a door that leads outside. She waited at his heels as he opened the door and let her breathe the night air into her lungs.

Lila shut her eyes until they were a ways away from the building and her shoulders felt like they were lighter than air. She opened them when Unknown stopped. She opened her eyes and looked around at the space that he wanted to bring her to. It was a vast and colorful garden where it seemingly held no end in sight.

After being trapped in a room with nothing but grey walls for weeks, or however it had been since she had come to place, this was everything that she needed. She wasn't sure what to say. She was in awe of the space around them and how much work had been put into it. It was beautiful, and she couldn't stop herself from getting a real look around and brushing her fingertips against some petunia.

For Lila, this was kind of like being a kid set loose in a candy store.

There was no stopping her from picking apart each new variation, finding things that didn't bloom as easy as they did back home, and smiling ear to ear. She would practically chat Unknown's ear off if she wasn't embarrassed to do so.

To think that a place like this had been hiding amongst the despair and perplexing darkness lingering all over the inside of that building. It was what she had missed most about being outside. It was the ability to come someplace like this where her heart felt really at ease.

As hard as it had been lately… this helped.

She stretched out her arms and stared at the rows and rows of flora, "I love it… I love it. It feels like I'm home again. I never feel happier than when I'm outside like this, I guess you might have seen that, but, not the whole picture."

"I never really had a lot of friends and I never really felt at home with other people. I guess you can say that I lived in my Grandma's garden most of my childhood… I had more friends out there than I ever did while I was in school. It's kind of silly, but being somewhere like this makes me feel so much better. I know that must sound kind of silly but… it means a lot to me, more than you ever might understand."

Lila spun around back to face where Unknown was standing with her starry-eyed expression to thank him.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "Thank you."

He rubbed the side of his head and looked away from Lila, "Yeah, well, you're into this kind of thing or whatever, so it's only fair I let you see it. You've done everything I've asked and you've earned one reward. Nobody really comes here anymore apart from the Savior so it… it deserves someone to appreciate it, somebody like you."

"Why, that's almost a real compliment, isn't it, Unknown?" a laugh escaped her lips. "I thought you weren't that kind of guy, huh?"

"Tch," he scoffed, but his expression softened a bit. "Don't think of it like that, princess., I owe you one after you took care of me the other day. It isn't often I'm incapacitated. I could have handled it myself, but… thanks. It would have taken me a while longer to get out of that pit if you hadn't done something."

Lila smiled.

His tone was still a little bitter and it was haphazard of him to even try to say that word to someone, she could tell.

He didn't want to admit weakness nor did he want to feel like people were pitying him. His thanks was blunt but it was far more than he had given before.

She didn't pity him.

She just couldn't stand to see him struggling like that when she could do something about it.

She practically skipped over to his side, feeling this rush of positivity all throughout her body, and not-so-casually tucking her arms around him.

Lila was quiet for a moment as she relished in his embrace for the second time that day. She was still hovering just above the water of her feelings for this man. It wouldn't take much more for her to be fully immersed.

She let out a small, contented sigh.

"I just… I just couldn't stand to see you hurting, y'know?" she said, quietly. "I don't like that you had to go through something like that. It's not fair. It doesn't seem right, either.. You're more dedicated than anybody. I've never seen somebody put everything into something like you do for Mint Eye. Why would they put you through something like that when you're already long but proven your faith in this place? You've given them everything, right? Why punish you?"

There it was again.

Her faith wavered in Mint Eye.

Yet, it remained steadfast in him.

It was… strange. She believed in him, but she didn't seem to connect the strength that came from Mint Eye. He was strong because of Mint Eye, and he could fight because of them and how he had been treated. Yet, she saw his strength as his own and only his own.

It felt weirdly… empowering.

"It's what I deserve, I told you," he said. He couldn't look at the way that she clung to him. "I'm not like you. I wasn't born ready to take my spot here. I was… weak, once. Now, it takes a lot of work to be the person that protects paradise, and I've had to fight my way to the top, proving my dedication every time it's challenged by something or somebody. I must commit to everything."

Lila was quiet.

Her nails dug harder into the fabric of his jacket, "Even if those commitments wind up killing you?"

"We've talked about this, princess," his tone was clear. "Don't say another word. It's okay and how it's meant to be. My dedication to Mint Eye is binding, I'd give anything for my Savior if it came down to it. She's the one that saw worth in me. I won't die, anyway, I'm the strongest."

"No, it's not okay!" She shook her head, and looked up at him with the pain and worry in her eyes again. "You can't pretend that it is. Don't you remember what you told me the other night? That the elixir you take nearly destroys you every time you take it? How can this place be a paradise if it treats you like this?!"

No.

Unknown stiffened.

It seemed like he was hearing what she was saying but the fact that he heard it was enough to be a problem. Those words were dangerous and could get her killed if she said it to the wrong person.

His shoulders were tight.

Unknown didn't know what he would do if she got killed or taken away. He had planned their future already and that wasn't part of it, never.

He sucked in a breath and pressed his hands to her shoulders.

"Shut up," he hissed. "Shut up, right now. I'm warning you."

Lila never knew when good was good enough.

She couldn't stop the words from coming out of her mouth once they started, "How can you ignore it like easily? This isn't okay! You're miserable! This place can't be a paradise if it treats you like this. I can't… I can't stand it. You don't deserve to be treated like this. You do everything you can and look how they repay you. There might be hope in the world outside of Mint Eye, but this place hurts you the same way the outside world does… what's the difference?"

That didn't make sense!

"I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to leave this place with you," she admitted the words underneath the spilling tears. "I know I don't belong out there either, and I'm scared of what will happen when I go back; But, I don't want to be someplace where you're getting hurt. I just want this to be a real paradise, the one you told me about; If it treated you with the respect that you deserve, then you could really be happy."

Her grip on the collar of his jacket loosened a bit as the tears spilled from her eyes. Her sob was quiet, and she didn't get very loud but it was enough that it affected him. "If… If you weren't getting hurt… then..."

She was babbling at that point and it wasn't making much sense at all.

"Then… then…"

Unknown couldn't stomach it.

He could feel the dread in the back of his head starting to build as she spoke those words. She couldn't say stuff like that.

The Savior would do something drastic if she thought for a moment that Lila really wanted to do something that bad.

That was the most important rule of the Mint Eye, and when people broke it they did not come back the same way they left. It had to be done, it had to. They were removed, taken away, or transformed. But that couldn't happen to Lila, she had faith in him and that should have been enough.

Unknown was never good at handling waterworks.

He shook his head and gripped her even tighter than she did him, "Listen, princess, I am happy here. I'm only doing what helps me build my strength. You don't understand it yet, but you haven't had your ceremony. It hurts at first but then everything becomes clear to you all at once. There's no pain when it all clicks, and once I give you your ceremony… I'll no longer be in pain."

Lila winced at his rough grip, "What about me, then? What's going to happen to me when I have to go through that? What are you going to do when I'm hurting because of this?"

She didn't know what to say to that statement of his, other than how worried she was about what the future held.

Not just for herself, but for him.

"It won't matter how badly it hurts or how good it feels. I'll be there for you, with you, throughout the entire time." Unknown whispered.

"The time when I'm with you… that's bliss. Your paradise can be achieved and salvation is within my reach… and it is in yours as well. I've never felt more at peace with myself then I do when you're with me. There will no longer be any need for pain to reach our goals… when I save you, that's when my paradise… no, our paradise begins. "

He made that sound so good. He could make anything sound good.

Lila shut her eyes. "Does that mean that there won't be any need for you to get hurt anymore? That you won't have to work yourself into the ground? If I'm a member… if we're together, does that ensure your safety?"

She really wanted to believe in him.

She really did.

It was just hard to imagine that this place would change into something that didn't abuse him for his talents.

Would it be like a shot?

Would it be like ripping off a bandaid?

Would the problems only last for a short while?

If they could stomach this trial and get through it… would paradise become a lovely place?

"I don't want you to get hurt anymore," Lila said. "I believe in you, and I want to believe in this with you. I just… it hurts me to see you like that."

Once the RFA was taken care of and brought to where the Savior wanted them to be, they, Unknown and she, would surely be able to exist without this pain, right?

Right?

The memory of his pleading eyes haunted her memory and refused to leave her thoughts. He didn't seem to remember that he clutched at her for most of the time with strangled sobs, and every so often he would whimper pleas.

How he wanted the pain to stop.

How he was scared she was going to disappear.

How he feared the pain she could experience.

"As long as you're with me, then I can do anything, I'm the strongest I've ever been in a long time, and I'm so close to destroying that traitor," he muttered. "It's thanks to you that I'm going to be able to ruin them all. As long as you're by my side, then my paradise is with you… here."

This assurance was the most gentle phrasing that he had ever used towards her and his eyes, although hardened by years of unspoken difficulties, was the most sincere thing that he had ever really said. It felt like there was a weight to those words.

As scary and as perplexing as so many of these feelings were just starting to feel, that was what pulled her underneath the current.

Neither of them realized it until the other moved but they were steadily growing closer and closer to one another until there was no space left between them. His lips were on hers and the fire, oh, the fire in his body was far stronger than what the elixir did to him. It was what those lingering touches had been building up to all along.

This meant that she was devoted to him.

Her hesitancy would disappear the longer that he did his best to prove to her what paradise could be with the both of them. Unknown would keep it quiet about her feelings, just until he could save her himself.

Unbeknownst to Lila and Unknown, the Savior had seen everything that transpired between the two of them and she was not happy.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Unknown was gone.

Again.

He had a mission to take care of on the outside of the compound and he warned her that it would be a while before he could return. The Savior had said that it was crucial that he take of it by himself and ensure that everything was in running order before he returned. Whatever it was, it was a big deal, as he didn't even glance at her before he left in a hurry.

It seemed that his health didn't matter.

All that mattered was the success of the Mint Eye.

This stung in a way after they had spent the night clinging tight to one another in the garden underneath the moonlight where they shared so many kisses. She just couldn't take her hands off of him and he didn't stop her from doing. It had been beautiful, lovely, intoxicating, breathtaking, and made her lungs burn.

She never wanted to let Unknown go.

Unknown…

Even though his touch lasted a little longer than it normally did that morning when she awoke and he was on his way out, it still… was frustrating to think that he wanted to go out there and push himself when he knew that she was scared for his sake.

It rubbed Lila the wrong way when the thought came to mind.

She wasn't devoted to this place. She was devoted to Unknown. She only cared about him and his safety. The rest of it wasn't a concern for her and she desperately wanted to protect him from being hurt anymore than he already had. It wasn't right.

It wasn't fair.

That woman had made it clear that if she fucked up or showed the smallest bit of something she didn't care for, then he was going to get it.

Unknown told her plainly that she couldn't dare think about leaving this place, nor should she ever mention it to anyone. The number one rule here was that you never question authority and you never say aloud such blasphemous things. This place was for the weak to flourish into their strengths, not leave to be trampled again.

But…

This place wasn't supposed to have pain, either. Nobody was supposed to be hurting, nor were they supposed to feel any of the pain that supposedly only existed in the outside world. If Unknown had been telling the truth then this really would have been a paradise.

That was far from the truth now, as he was getting hurt.

Hurt!

All that Lila could think about was badly she wanted to get him out of this place and much she wanted to show him the world… that the world couldn't possibly be as bad as it was. There were terrible people out there, yes, but if they had each other… as long as they were together…

Couldn't they survive?

After all, numbers were everything and two was definitely better than one.

She was scared to think about it. After learning that her family just didn't care that she had been missing, and after learning that the place that Unknown tried to play up as a heaven on Earth turned out to be a moot point; The fact remained that neither place was safe for Unknown and herself, and that left her unsure of what to do.

What was she supposed to do? How could she protect him from wasting away? How could she stop them from hurting him even more? What was she even thinking? This was wrong… this was really wrong. She wasn't supposed to be thinking like this. Unknown had promised… he had promised that things would be okay in due time.

Very soon, he just didn't have a date of when. He swore that once the operation was taken care of and things were as they were meant to be, then paradise will truly become the place that he described. He swore by the lingering kiss he pressed to her lips.

Lila pressed her hand unconsciously to her lips and felt the warmth of the ghost of his lips against her own, cheeks flush.

It wasn't like anything else horrible had happened.

Perhaps she could really let herself drown in his promises and accept that change would come eventually. If she could get member status… maybe she could use that to protect him. It was just very confusing. There would be moments where she was ready to go through with this, and moments, where she felt like that, this may have been the wrong choice.

She shook her head, furiously.

It might have been just better if she ignored these feelings and continued to work through what they had at hand.

Things would be alright.

She just had to have faith in him, right?

Lila settled back into her work after she calmed herself down and stayed on task until the sound of her ringtone came from the other side of the room. She rose from his desk and went to pick it up to see if it was his name tag on it.

It always was.

She just felt better knowing that it was him.

Just as she hit the green button on her phone to answer his call, the door to the work lab opened in a flash and Lila whipped her head around to see who it was. It wasn't anyone she knew, or who she had seen anytime before. She didn't know these guys. Nobody was supposed to have the clearance to come into this room.

Unknown had said that only the Savior could come here.

So, why were they here?

Unknown's voice came from the transceiver as she stared like a deer in the headlights at these men that wouldn't budge.

"Ugh. I thought you were never going to pick your damn phone up. Look, I need you to run some diagnostics for me. I'll tell you what you do, I can't do it remotely right now… Lila? Hello? Are you even listening to me?"

She mustered what strength she had and glowered at the men to try and stand her ground, but she had the feeling that she was about as scary as a cupcake. "What the hell do you want?"

It was two of the believers. The ominous and hooded members that would do anything that the Savior wanted of them.

They seemed to be like the ones that had thrown Unknown around like a ragdoll the other day before he returned to this room, and she knew, she just knew when they made eye contact that they weren't here for anyone but herself.

They were here… to do something to Lila.

"The Savior has ordered for you to undergo your ceremony."

Her breath caught in her throat. They had come to take her to her ceremony? Unknown was supposed to be the one doing that.

What were they saying? Why would they be doing this? None of this added up at all. That didn't make any sense.

"No… no… no…. not now, the Savior told me that I was going to be the one to take care of you! No, you tell those bastards that I'm the only one who gets you to give you the elixir of salvation! I'll have their heads if they touch you!"

She stood her ground, though it was obvious she was trembling. "...I have no choice, right? You'll take me no matter what I say? Who sent you? Unknown told himself that he was going to be taking care of this soon."

The one on the left stared, "The Savior herself has requested the date be moved to today, and that she will be conducting it. That's all that I was told, and that's all that matters. You can submit willingly or we can take you ourselves, it's up to you how hard you make this. I would suggest you choose the prior. The Savior doesn't take too kindly to those that don't follow the rules."

Lila dropped her cell phone on the desk and slid it to where Unknown would be able to locate it when he got back here.

It was all she could give him.

She didn't really have a choice. There was no way that she could duck past these guys and make a break for it out of this room, she didn't know where she could go. There was also no way that they were going to believe a word that Unknown was saying, not if the Savior had told them herself that she wanted to be the one in charge of her ceremony.

Her word was above anyone else.

"Lila, answer me, goddammit! Did they say what I thought they said? The… Savior…? She… she wants to take care of your ceremony…? She… wants to… save you…? She... I thought… I was going to… save you… but… if she wants… Oh, God."

She wished that he was here.

She wished that Unknown was the one taking care of her and not that woman.

"Let go of me! Let go! Goddammit! Unknown's gonna be pissed off when he realizes what you're doing! You answer to him too! Not just the Savior!"

All that Lila could do was thrash against the men who took hold of her without any warning as they started to lead her away from her safe space. She wished that these guys would listen but no matter what she told them and what she threatened them with, her words fell on false ears and they ignored her voice.

She could hear Unknown on the other end of her phone as she was dragged away, and no matter how much she thrashed against the guards and tried to kick out of their grasp, she was too small and too weak in comparison to fight them off.

The sounds of his frustration and pleas would haunt her and continue to haunt her as she was dragged into the basement.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Calling this place a basement was like calling a prison a playground.

It may have existed underneath the rest of the place but it was far from just a place for storage. Once you entered the seemingly normal double doors and trekked down a long staircase, you would find yourself in a dark, damp cellar with cells to contain those that didn't follow the rules.

There wasn't a lot of light so it was hard to focus on the finer details.

At first, Lila assumed they were going to throw her into one of those. They would probably have kept her there until the Savior wanted to deal with her and do as she pleased. That would have been ugly but it was better than getting trapped somewhere else.

But, the believers that had held onto her just kept walking forward and further into the darkness. It was quiet, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop apart from the sounds of her own protests. The rows of chains and bars quickly diluted into rooms and doors that lead to other spaces that held God knows what inside of them.

Lila couldn't hide the fear that was creeping up her spine.

It was like being sent to the gallows to be hung. You had a vague idea of what was going to happen to you but you knew nothing about what it was going to be like or how it was going to work out. After seeing everything that had come afterward that Unknown had dealt with, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to fully understand what it was.

He had dealt with that for years.

She didn't have any tolerance for this whatsoever.

Her fears only continued to grow as they reached the end of the long hallway where only darkness remained. There was a pause, a brief moment before the doors opened, and that was when her voice seemingly died. It was one thing to stand your ground where you felt safe, and it was another to be brought where you had no power at all.

Then, she was thrust into the light.

The room was… not what she expected. She thought that she was going to be walking into a real torture chamber, but as it turned out,, the room at the end of this long hallway was a sanctuary of sorts. Unknown had mentioned there were a few throughout the building but there were only two crucial spots.

This definitely fits that bill.

The Savior was watching and waiting at the center of the room. Her head pressed into her chin as she thoughtfully waited for Lila to be rudely dropped at her feet like a ragdoll. She still radiated that calm disposition but that lingering feeling underneath it was there in her eyes. She looked more amused than anything, pleased to see that her will had been carried out.

"Nice of you to drop in," she commented, tone as smooth as honey.

Lila shook her head, "It wasn't like I had a choice."

The Savior never lost her smile.

"Are you wondering why you're here?" she asked.

Lila didn't know how to answer that. It was a loaded question. There was no telling why she had wanted to do what Unknown had long said he would do. All the threats that she had heard from this woman had been directed at him more than at herself. It was possible that she had an inkling of mistrust and her first thought was to take care of it herself.

Unknown's role was crucial.

Anything that got the way of his work would surely make trouble for the Savior.

She had made sure that she did everything that he asked and expected of her down to the letter that she knew, but something in that mustn't have been what that woman wanted.

"..."

The Savior stood from her chair and began to walk forward across the room until she was in front of Lila, "Well, I'll tell you since you can't seem to decide what to say. Your dedication to… Unknown is admirable, really, you do as he asks, and make sure he's doing as he needs to do. However, your allegiance isn't to me, and you've put ideas into his head that I can't forgive. You aren't all wrong in your actions, though, which is why I've decided to help you see the truth."

Lila refused to lift her head.

Savior clicked her tongue, and grasped Lila's chin between her forefinger and thumb, making her look. "Are you aware of what a special treat that is? I only personally save those that I consider beneficial to our paradise. You, my dear, have value to me, but your rebellious streak needs to be corrected.

"Corrected? You mean you're going to beat me senseless until I don't say anything but the word yes," Lila whispered. "That's exactly what you did to him."

Savior couldn't help but laugh. She snapped her fingers and the guards came back into play and took hold of her arms. Lila struggled but she was too small, too weak.

She never lost her smile, "Beat you? That's dreadfully barbaric, wouldn't you say? We have other ways of showing people the truth. For you, that means a special blend of elixir that I just created for you. You've seen it, haven't you? The way Unknown grows in strength every time he drinks his dose? How harder and faster he works when it's coursing through his veins? That is the untapped potential that exists in everybody, but for it to take full effect, you must accept the devil in your heart."

Lila shook her head, vehemently. "I'm not accepting anything! Let me go! You shouldn't be doing this to people! This isn't how you get others to love you!"

"This is how I protect and nurse others to unlock what's inside of themselves. You can no longer be hurt if you accept the Mint Eye into yourself. You're blinded by the feelings of the outside world. You cannot deny to me that you haven't felt a change since you came to this place, I see it in your eyes. You're denying it with your mouth but your eyes say that you are conflicted. You shouldn't fight it, you should accept it." The Savior did not pause.

"If you think I'm such a pest, why aren't you just getting rid of me?! If you're doing this to spite Unknown or hurt him, why don't you just kill me?!"

The Savior let go of Lila's face and went to retrieve the glittering liquid, and it shined an unnatural blue. "I'm doing what's best for you, and what's best for Unknown. If I took you out, he would throw such a fit. A pathetic princess like you… you can be useful if fixed before you get too far into him. I know that power, and I want to show you how to use your care for the sake of Mint Eye. Don't worry, I'll let you stay with Unknown when all is said and done."

Lila frantically tried to find a way out of this but no matter where she looked, there wasn't a path to safety. Her head was taken hold of and her eyes trembled, wide, as the elixir was held just above her head.

"No… No… No…!"

"Now, Lila," the Savior spoke in such a cheery tone. "I invite you to paradise."

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Over… and over… and over…

Lila lost track of how long she had been trapped in this basement. It felt like months, but who knows if it had been that long. It could have been a lot longer.

They would barely give her anything to eat and they would starve her until she repeated what they said. They would let her fall asleep and then shake her awake to drown her in more and more elixir. Each and every time, the Savior would drop by and counter the vile liquid with the sound of her coaxing voice.

Her words were not sweet.

She would remind Lila time after time that she was weak, that she was pathetic, that she walked right into this mess by not trusting Unknown fully. She had gotten this way because she didn't listen to him. She kept thinking she knew better than anyone else when she really didn't. What good did she know if all she did was cause grief for Unknown?

It was her fault, and all her misery was because she was an idiot.

She was an idiot.

Why did she ever think she could do anything when all she did was mess things up? That was why her family threw her away and gladly forgot about her when she left them behind to escape. That was why she had no friends in her life. That was why she lived alone with nothing but flowers to keep her company. That was why she wound up walking into a trap and ruining it.

That was why she ruined Unknown and got him in trouble.

Because she was trash.

She hated herself. She hated everything about herself. She was in so much pain and it was all her fault. All she felt was hate and ungodly rage in her heart.

"It hurts…"

"It hurts."

"Make it stop… please… please…!"

"I can't, no, no, no!"

The stupor that she was under lingered for far longer than she expected.

They had said that it would last for quite some time until her body adjusted to the pain and grew to accept it. She wasn't quite sure if she had enough strength to stomach it for much longer. Her body was on fire, and whatever wasn't burning felt like static from the tips of her fingers.

One thing was for certain though, Lila felt an indescribable amount of rage and frustration.

She wasn't sure why.

It might have been the fact that she felt like she had been forced into a corner without her own say in the matter. It might have been the fact that she had been ripped away from Unknown and he was the only good thing about this place. It might have been that fact that she was really starting to believe everything that that woman had told her.

Whatever the hell it was, the feeling just wouldn't go away.

She was so weak… she was too weak… she never stood up for herself… she didn't try harder to fight for her own desires… she didn't try to win. She accepted defeat and turned tail like a frightened little rabbit trying to escape a wolf.

She was cowardice.

She was everything that that woman had said she was, and it really made her angry.

Why wasn't she brave?

Why wasn't she strong?

Why couldn't she be good enough?

What did she have to do to prove her faith? What did she have to do to show these people that she cared? What did she have to do to herself to become somebody that others would respect and be treated the way she deserved to be treated?

What did she have to do to prove her faith and belief in Unknown?

What about herself was so weak and tainted that could be crumbled up and rewritten into someone that could protect and keep what she cared about?

What was it going to take?

The world was going to swallow her up whole and spit her back out if she went back out there and tried to survive. As much it burned… as much as her body screamed at her… a part of her simply just snapped. Rational logic was thrown out the window, and she dug her nails into her palms until they bleed.

She gasped for breath and tried to hold herself together as it all fell apart. She had been left to lay there on the floor for God knows how long, and her entire body hated her for it.

It would have been less of a strain if she hadn't been thrown onto the wet concrete.

She couldn't get herself to get up.

Everything hurt. Everything was numb.

She just wanted the pain to go away. She just wanted the pain to go away. She just wanted the pain to go away —

"Oh, dear, you look like you've been having a rough go of it. How are you feeling now? It's been a while since I've seen you." A voice echoed through the darkness of the dungeon. It was the voice of the very woman that had snatched her away from Unknown and started this pain.

This confusing and blinding pain that made her question her choices and feelings. Lila didn't have the strength to lift her head but if she could she would have glowered at the woman.

But, now? She couldn't do anything besides grovel at her feet like a sick dog. It was the most pathetic and low she had ever felt in her entire goddamn life.

The sounds of her footsteps grew closer and closer and the darkened outline of the woman appeared in front of her, "It hurts, doesn't it? Well, pain is a great teacher for those that can't quite see the way out of the light and into the darkness. Has your allegiance become clear to you? Do you see now what you were blind to before now? I do hope that you understand what I've been trying to help you see."

She was forced to lift her head, and it forced her to cry out in agony. There was no way she could control this. That was what they kept telling her over and over and over again. She was weak, she was breakable, and she was pathetic. How dare she think she could stay by Unknown's side when she was nothing but a crybaby?

Lila opened her eyes for the first time.

She wore a soft expression on her face, the so-called Savior looked so composed and ethereal. She looked nothing like the monsters you dreamed of.

She was very beautiful, in a way that spoke of danger and mystery.

She smiled when Lila did this, "Don't you hate this? Don't you hate me? Don't you want to get rid of everything that hurts? Isn't the first thought that comes to your mind how much you want to destroy me? Tell me the truth. I can see it in your heart. What does your devil tell you? Come now, I won't judge you."

There was a part deep, deep inside of her that was protesting what Lila was thinking at that moment but for some reason, she just couldn't connect with that voice.

All she felt was rage, anger, and the need to fight.

If they wanted to push her until she died, then she had no choice left, they gave her no option to be anything but cruel. So, she glared up at that woman and with every ounce of strength that she could muster in her weary body, she said what was lingering on her mind.

"...I want it back. I want it back. I want back everything you've taken from me. I don't care what I have to do to get there. I don't care what that means for me. I don't care who I have to hurt. If it wasn't for the elixir… I would… I take it back from you… he's mine. I fought too hard to protect him for you to hurt him on my account…"

For some reason, that warmth was starting to feel less like a burn and more like a hot touch. It was hot water in a shower that you adjusted to minute by minute… she was starting to feel like the pain wasn't the worst thing.

No, no…

The pain that these drugs were causing was nothing compared to the hatred in her chest.

"You're the one… that said I… I was too weak to stand by him. You're the one that said that I was nothing but a princess. That I was too scared to do what had to be done for his sake. Well, right now… right now, I'm feeling like I would hurt anyone… even you… do anything… no matter how bad it was... if it meant that I had him."

Her fingers dug into the cold ground as she evened herself out and tried to push herself back onto her feet, although, she was a bit wobbly. By the time that she was standing, the Savior was watching her with what seemed to be amusement and intrigue. She didn't seem to be threatened by these words at all.

That only fueled the fire in her chest.

Her gaze narrowed. "If you all want me to a princess… then I'll be the worst fucking princess you've ever seen. I want what's mine. I want it now. I'm going to take it! That's all I've realized after being trapped down here. I'm tired of being pitiful. I want to be strong. I want to be so strong that nobody can hurt me."

Lila didn't know it, but she meant every word that she was saying.

It was the truth.

She wasn't just repeating what they wanted to hear her say.

She was living it.

"Is that so?" Savior commented.

Was that supposed to be a slap in the face?

"Are you going to stand in my way, then or not? I can't take this crap anymore and I'm so angry right now that I don't think I'm going to be nice anymore. Being nice to people didn't get me anything that I wanted," she spat. "I don't give a damn if you're in charge or not."

She was so tired.

She was so tired…

She wanted to go back…

Go back…

Lila just wanted to make it all stop, and the only way to do that was to prove her worth with her own two hands, "You wanna know what I think? I'll tell you what I've figured out in this damned place now. What good is kindness? What good is being a punching bag for everyone? What good is being weak? What good is there when you aren't strong enough to take what you want?"

What was the point in caring about him if she couldn't stay by his side?

She promised that she would not leave him.

They took that promise and stomped on it like a weed.

They made it look like she lied to him! Her relationship with him may have been complicated in a lot of ways. However, one thing was for certain, she cared about him and she didn't want him to hurt anymore. She wanted to stop that from happening. She wanted to make them stop it. She would do anything that she had to do to ensure that.

If she had to be his shield and his sword then that's who she would be. There was no use in being who she used to be. No, if she wanted to survive in this place and become somebody who could stand at the same level as Unknown she needed to be the strongest.

She needed to stop pretending that she was so sweet and caring. She needed to embrace this pain in her heart and destroy everything until she had him protected. "I see it now. Why be the sweet and kind princess? When I can be the princess that gets everything she wants to have, all the power, all the freedom, and all the respect."

Lila glared at that Savior. "I want it all. I'm going to do everything I can to take it. I don't give a damn who stands in my way. If you're going to keep me locked down here then I'm going to fight and kick and scream until you let me go free. He respects you, and that's the only reason I'm not trying to claw your fucking eyes out right now."

The Savior smiled, her smile grew so wide, and pleased by hearing this. "As a matter of fact, my sweet dear, I came here to let you out. Your progress is admirable. It took such a long amount of time for him to reach his truth. It took you a matter of weeks to realize your devil. I've never seen somebody so vile and pure. You've realized the truth of paradise. I'm proud of you."

The room was suddenly illuminated in light.

Lila winced and covered her eyes. It was too bright. It was too bright. Tears were coming back to her eyes because of it. She had been the dark for so long it hurt to even see a glimmer of light and this was too much to take in all at one time. When she felt like her body could tolerate it and it wouldn't make her fall onto her knees, she sucked in a deep breath and opened her eyes again.

The Savior was looking at her with such a pleased, proud look in her eyes. It was like she was going to praise her for a job well done. Part of her wanted to knock the smug look from her face but the other part of her knew that if she did do such a thing that she would have to spend more time in this place.

As much as every living fiber of her being wanted to destroy this woman, she could not.

Her body was starting to ache but she ignored that pain. Her vision was spotty. Her lungs were crying out. At any moment, she felt like she was going to collapse. She had pushed herself to the brim to display how she felt but it was too soon.

Lila sank down to her knees with a hard snap. She couldn't handle it. Her strength was fading fast and she felt weak again, weak and angry. Her breath quicked, and the heat returned. "Agh… hah… fuck… it hurts… it hurts… make it stop… please… please… I can't… I can't do this anymore… make it stop… aaagh!"

Savior knew that and she could see Lila accept her limits, "Feel that anger and let it consume your body and mind, every part of you. You'll be a force to reckon with then and nobody will control you. I'm not your enemy here. I know you feel that way… but I only want what's best for you, and cant you feel it? Can't you feel your power?"

She rested her hand against Lila's shoulder as she rasped for the air that her lungs desperately needed to consume. "I wanted to show you what you're capable of. Love blinds someone. It makes them forget what they really are. Your love was twisting Unknown, but now it can show him the right path to paradise. You can love him as much as you want, as long as you continue to feel this power and spread the message of this power."

Power… she could have it.

All she had to do was survive this pain.

This is what Unknown had been talking about all along.

All she had to do was hold her breath and pray she lived to see Unknown again. If she lived through this then she could prove herself to everyone and show the world that she wasn't a pitiful crybaby. She was going to the queen on top. She was going to get what she wanted and she wasn't going to let anyone stop her from getting it.

"Unknown will be satisfied to see you've accepted us into your heart. I have great expectations for both of you in the future, especially you, princess. Revel in your strong devil, Lila. Don't ever let that fire go out. Let it fester. Let it feed your wrath. I only have one question."

He would… be happy…?

He would like that she was strong?

She hadn't seen him in such a long time, and she hated to think he thought she was weak and pitiful.

She was going to control them all.

She was going to have it all.

She gazed down at the ground and noticed her reflection glimmering in a puddle on the floor and paused to stare down at the strange vision. There was a woman with messy brown hair and familiar rosy cheeks. It looked like her but at the same time, she didn't feel right. She didn't quite look as she remembered.

There was one striking feature about the person she saw and that was the intense mint-colored eyes they possessed. They were darkened and her expression was twisted in such a beautiful and yet tragic way.

The birth of a new person was happening today.

"Well, Lila, are you ready to accept paradise?"

She lifted her head and gazed up at the Savior with this expression lingering on her face as her lips curled into a grin so wide it could have rivaled a Cheshire. " I accept your invitation. I accept paradise. I accept the truth of this world. The weak will be eaten by the strong, and the strong will overtake the weak. However, there is no more Lila."

"Oh?"

She nodded her head. "It is the begotten name of my weakness. It no longer holds any worth to me, whatsoever. I am… Wisteria. One who loves without limitation to stop them anymore and feeds into the ever-growing vines that consume their body inch by inch until there's nothing left but binds to suffocate and choke them into true bliss."

There would be nothing to stop her control from spreading anywhere, and there would be nothing to stop Unknown from smothering her with his intense obsession.

He was hers.

And nobody, nobody was going to get in her way.

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bernadineisreborn · 5 years

Text

Jane

Black Magic Woman Part 2. Read Part 1 here!

Fandom: Harry Potter - Marauders Era

Pairing: Young Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Song fic based on “Jane” by Starship. Confused friends don’t know what feelings are.

Words: 3,662

A/N: The end is a bit rushed… BUT I JUST NEEDED to finish this. Please leave a comment, like, or reblog! Thanks for reading and ily all :) This makes a lot more sense if you read the first part first. I do not own this gif or these characters.

Jane, you say it's all over for you and me, girl

It was a stormy winter morning. You and Lily had arrived at the Gryffindor dining table only minutes earlier.

“Y/N, I swear to Merlin if you say it one more time, I am going to jinx you,” groaned Lily from across you. You were both dressed in your robes for class, and Lily’s cheeks were tinted a lovely rose hue that made her hair look even redder.

“Fine, Lily. I’ll stop saying it. But we both know it’s true,” you smirked at her, and she let out a puff of air.

You were talking about James, of course. Now that you had gotten Lily to see how much he really liked her, you wouldn’t shut up about it. It didn’t help that the boys seemed to be sitting next to you at every meal now.

Speaking of the handsome devils, your eyes glanced up at the sound of people laughing and moving quickly through the entrance to the Great Hall.

Sirius was shoving James, who was laughing heartily. Peter and Remus were tittering along beside them. Remus seemed to be trying to calm the first two.

“Merlin, help me,” said Lily.

You deepened your voice, imitating James, “Oh, Lily, darling. Don’t you look just ravishing this morning-”

She cut you off, throwing a grape at your face, but you were both laughing.

The boys sat down by you soon after. James sitting uncomfortably close to Lily, pressing his broad shoulder into hers. She forced herself to roll her eyes and nudge him away, but she was still blushing.

Sirius sat next to you, giving you space, but friendly. He gave you a smirk as he settled in, one of his signature, award-winning smiles that usually had you swooning.

But you didn’t want to make it too easy for him.

There's a time for love and a time for letting it be, baby

Remus sat next to Sirius, and Peter by James. The four boys looked less tired than they usually did at this period of the month, though Remus was visibly shaken.

“Good morning, love,” said James to Lily, “Hello, Y/N.”

“Hi James,” you replied.

Lily tensed, but managed a “Hi, arsehole.”

James engaged her in flirty conversation, and Sirius turned to you.

“Hi, Y/N. The, er, potion worked brilliantly,” he glanced at Lily, unsure what you had told her, “Thanks again for helping.”

“No problem, Sirius,” you say, “How is Remus?” you ask, quieter. You both glance at the boy, long scars standing out on his unusually pale face.

“He’s been worse… He’s been much, much worse.”

You hum, heart sinking to your stomach for him, “And you?” Your caring eyes meet his, and for a moment, you see a flash of the truth. He was struggling with something. Perhaps Remus’ condition, perhaps something else that was bothering him.

Then, his expression shifted into one of ease, his mask firmly in place.

“I’ve been much worse, as well.”

Across the table, James managed to make Lily laugh at something he’s said. You and Sirius focused your attention elsewhere. Your head was turned away and Sirius watched you talk to Remus, wondering why it made his stomach uneasy.

Jane you're playing a game called, hard to get by its real name

By the end of the day, you were exhausted. It was almost time for Christmas break, which meant that professors were piling on the lessons to keep up with the curriculum.

You made your way to the Gryffindor common room, planning to work on a few assignments before bed.

Sirius and Remus were sitting on the plush sofa nearest the crackling fire. They waved you over.

“Hello, boys. Up late, aren’t we?”

Remus gave you a boyish smile, teeth over his bottom lip like fangs, “Just working on homework, Y/N.”

You sat down on a sofa across from them, setting your bag by your feet and resting your face in your hands. You were vaguely aware of Sirius whispering something to Remus.

“Right. Well, I better get to bed, then. See you two tomorrow,” said Remus, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. You uncovered your face at his words, glancing up. You catch Remus winking at Sirius, just enough of Sirius and Remus’s secret conversation to clue you in.

You watched Remus leave. Then, turned back to Sirius, who you were not expecting to have shifted closer to you. He caught you off guard, grey eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Want to come sit by me?” his lips quirked into a smile and you had to take a second to compose yourself.

“I’m good here, thanks,” you replied, gathering a few books onto your lap.

Sirius huffed in response, you see his face form an elegant pout from the corner of your eye. You were playing with him, not letting him get what he wanted without a little effort.

You both worked in silence together for a few minutes, then, “What are you working on?”

Looking up, you responded, “Transfiguration.”

A few more minutes passed. “Y/N, I was going to, uh, ask you-”

“No, I’m not letting you copy my homework, Black. It’s the end of the term, you should be doing it yourself!”

His eyebrows raised and his mouth stretched in an expression between amusement and offense, “I wasn’t going to ask that.”

You looked up at him once again, “Oh. What were you going to ask?”

Sirius thought his next words through carefully. Your skin glowed by the firelight and the picture made his heart feel something weird. If he asked you what he really wanted to ask you, it could ruin something. No, no, he had to wait a little. But, the way you had looked at him. And the way he looked at you back…

“I… I was going to ask if you thought James had a real shot with Lily.”

Your face fell, a shift barely noticeable if Sirius hadn’t been watching closely. Not because he was creepy or anything. Just because he was talking to you. Obviously.

But you pulled your face into a smirk and said, “I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.”

Making believe that you just don't feel the same

Oh Jane

Sirius was bored. He had been sitting at the same spot in the library for hours now. James and Remus had left a while ago, their school work finished much faster than Sirius’.

He lifted his gaze from the parchment in front of him, searching for something else worthy of his time.

You were seated at a table a few feet away, quill furiously scratching against a long piece of parchment. Your hair was draped messily on your shoulders and you had a frazzled look about you.

Sirius couldn’t help but smile at the sight. The more he looked at you, the more he found himself smiling. You were pretty, he had no doubt. But you were so studious, so kind, so hard-working. He preferred… looser arrangements, and you were not the kind of girl to be in a loose arrangement. You weren’t his type and Sirius knew he wasn’t yours.

So, instead Sirius turned his attention towards a table of 4thyear Gryffindor girls. He managed to get the attention of one of them, and they soon began giggling amongst themselves, looking back and forth between their parchments and him.

He gathered his things, and started towards the girls, a lazy smile on his handsome face.

Jane, you're playing a game you never can win, girl

A week later, Sirius was feeling a bit hopeless. After you had almost kissed him, twice in a row might he add, he had been confused. Then, he had been intrigued. But now… hopeless.

He had tried flirting with you. It just wasn’t working. For some reason, every time he thought of a clever one-liner or a witty comment, images of you coming closer and closer to him in either the Astronomy Tower or Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom flooded his brain. It made him feel weird and scratchy and sweaty. You were throwing him off.

Sirius was way off his game.

He couldn’t even flirt with other girlswithout thinking about you for Merlin’s sake! He was getting absolutely no love. And you were the cause of it.

He just didn’t understand why, he didn’t understand the way he had been feeling when you were around.

Sirius decided he needed to talk to Remus. Remus would know what to do.

You're staying away so I'll ask you where you've been, baby

You, on the other hand, were trying to stay away from Sirius. You had watched him grow bored of you and drift away once before, intentional or not, and it had broken your heart. You had no intention of letting him get tired of you again.

You saw him at meals, him sitting agonizingly close to you. He always made conversation, and sometimes you wondered if he was trying to flirt with you, but then he would clear his throat and look away or start eating his food fast to avoid talking.

It was confusing. And you were starting to think that you maybe had a teeny-tiny crush on him, to make it worse.

You were still brewing Wolfsbane for Remus, and you were determined to make it much better the second time around.

On the Thursday before the next full moon, you were in Myrtle’s bathroom, busying yourself with potions so you didn’t have to think about Sirius. Unfortunately for you, Myrtle noticed the strange way you refused to stop working for even a second.

“Y/N?” Myrtle squeaked, “What’s wrong with you? Did you decide you hate me like all the other kids so now you’re not going to talk to me anymore and oh, I always knew you would-”

“Myrtle, calm down. It has nothing to do with you,” you reassured. You wanted to talk your feelings out with someone, and you had been planning on waiting to talk with Lily, but Myrtle was so convenient. She could be trusted, right? Probably. “It has to do with… Sirius.”

Myrtle gasped. “A boy? Oh please tell me, Y/N! No one ever tells me about boys, they only come in here to cry or get away from teachers or fight trolls or.. you know. Tell me!”

You winced at her high pitched tone but resigned, “Okay, fine, Myrtle. But you can’t tell anyone. Ever. I mean it. Or I won’t come visit anymore… and I’ll curse you.”

Myrtle nodded.

“Well… you see, he’s beautiful, obviously. I mean, you can still see. It’s ridiculous, right? No wonder every bloody witch at this school is in love with him. And he’s a complete arsehole sometimes. That does things for some girls, I guess. But not usually for me. Except… I know that he has layers and that deep, deep, deeeep down he’s a sweetheart who masks his own internal problems with external arsehole-ness…”

You continued your rant for about ten minutes. Myrtle listened intently, humming and agreeing in the right places. Poor lonely ghost.

But neither of you noticed the shaggy haired boy come to the bathroom door himself, hearing you mention his name and eavesdropping shamelessly from the other side of the door.

His smile grew as he realized that all of your pent-up emotions meant that you liked him. He wasyour type, after all.

Like a cat and a mouse

From door to door and house to house

A few nights later, you and Lily stayed up in the common room, anxiously awaiting the return of your friends.

James had finally told Lily about their monthly adventures, so now you at least had someone to sit up with, waiting for them to return safely and help heal their injuries as to not attract suspicion from professors.

Lily kept dozing off, but you were too lost in your thoughts to sleep. Sirius had acted especially awkward the past two days, and you wondered if you two were growing apart again. The thought made you sad, but you couldn’t do anything about it if he decided you weren’t worth his time again.

Don't you pretend you don't know what I'm talking about

A few hours after, you had joined Lily in her slumber, and the boys limped into the Gryffindor common room to find their supposed caretakers cuddled next to each other, shivering in the chilly night time air. Luckily, none of them had any injuries that they hadn’t managed to heal themselves already.

James laughed quietly, “Aweee, they’re sleeping. And they care about us!”

Sirius smiled at the sight of you with your eyelids fluttering and the emotion wiped from your face in you sleep.

“Maybe this means Lily wants me to ask her out.”

Suddenly, you were being lifted by a pair of tender, gentle, but strong arms. Sirius carried you to your room, and James carried Lily.

Halfway up the stairs, both you and Lily woke enough to have the sense to walk yourselves. Lily jumped from James’ arms, almost falling down the stairs. She stammered and blushed, made sure he was okay, and bid him goodnight before heading to bed.

You awoke enough to realize who was carrying you and tighten your arms around his neck, desperately clutching to him and hoping he didn’t leave.

Sirius pretended he hadn’t seen your eyes open for a split second before you did so.

When you got to your dorm, Sirius laid you down on your bed and sat by you. You were awake enough now to acknowledge Sirius’ presence, but sleepy enough to be bold.

“Erm- Thanks for waiting up for me, I mean, for us. It means quite a lot,” said Sirius.

His words were met with silence as you snuggled yourself into your bed and under the covers. In the soft moonlight, his features were filled with nerves and you finally understood why he had been acting so oddly the past few days.

Sirius was about to leave when you grabbed his hand.

Your eyes met. You were half asleep and he was exhausted, but you both could have sworn that the other was glowing. You were too tired to care about the consequences your next words would have on your beloved friendship with Sirius.

“Stay.”

And so he did.

Were all those nights we spent together, hey hey

Only because you didn't know better

I gotta know

The next morning, you woke up to sunlight streaming in through the frosty windows. You were surprised at how hot you were. Usually, you didn’t get too warm at night. It was like you were sleeping with a space heater or something. Or a dog.

A dog.

Your eyes shot open and you remembered, embarrassedly, the sleep soaked events of the night before. Sirius was laying peacefully beside you, his arm wrapped around you and his eyes shut tightly.

Oh, Merlin. What had you gotten yourself into?

Instead of staying and dealing with the awkwardness of waking up next to a boy that you were kind of in love with, you decided to leave. So, you dressed in your robes and hoped that Sirius would have the sense to leave the room discreetly before leaving for the Dining Hall as fast as you could.

It was earlier than you had ever woken up before, there were only a few other students in the dining hall when you got there. You sat by yourself at the Gryffindor table and prepared for humiliation.

Not long after, someone sat beside you.

It was Remus.

His hair was extra messy, and he had dark bags hanging from his usually bright eyes. There were a few new scratches on him, but nothing that would scar.

“Hey, Rem. How are you feeling?”

“Awful, but no worse than usual. The Wolfsbane really helps. Why are you up so early?” he asked, but there was a knowing look on his face as he awaited your response.

“Erm… Our dorm was, well, just quite warm this morning and it woke me up.”

“Yeah, Sirius gets warm in his sleep. It’s woken me up before, as well. No worries,” he said with a small smirk spreading across his tired face.

You choked on your tea a bit. His words planted so many questions in your brain, but you settled with, “How did you know?”

He shrugged, “Had a feeling and you just confirmed it.”

You groaned, “What are the chances you tell no one and all parties involved pretend this never happened?”

Remus made a face, his scars scrunching together in thought as his expression changed, “I’m not sure that’s the best-”

“No, really. I just got my friendship with Sirius back. The last thing I need to do is ruin it by making it awkward or something. Please, just… don’t mention it.”

He studied you for a few seconds, thick brows furrowed.

“You really fancy him, don’t you?”

You choked on your tea again.

You were trying to think of a response when you heard him mumble something under his breath.

“What was that, Rem?”

“Oh nothing. Just, erm, you should tell him how you feel. I certainly couldn’t tell him, because you’ve sworn me to secrecy. And he’s sworn me to secrecy as well, so. Just tell him.”

You were staring at him, trying to process what he’d just said, when the rest of the boys dragged themselves into the room. You made eye contact with the exhausted but unreasonably gorgeous Sirius and made another easy decision.

You stacked your plates quickly, “Okay. I’m, uh, done with breakfast. See you later Remus!”

“Y/N, wait! I really think-”

“Good morning, Y/N, darling. What’s the rush? You’re just going to eat with Remus and then leave him like that? Jeez, must be your trademark,” said James as you walked by.

There was laughter in his eyes, and you knew he meant nothing by it. But his words meant that Sirius had already told his friends about last night. You were filled with a sudden, intense wave of embarrassment and anger towards the situation. Heat rose to your cheeks as you tried to think of a response. But the boys were holding in laughter and you couldn’t deal with it anymore.

So, of course, you ran.

Jane you're playing a game, you're playing a game, playing a game

Oh Jane, you're playing a game of hide and go seek

You finally stopped running when you got to Myrtle’s bathroom.

You were crying at this point, hot tears streaming down your face. There were so many emotions running through you, and their combined product was overwhelmed tears. You slumped to the ground and put your head in between your knees.

You were vaguely aware of Myrtle yelling something at you about being just another person crying in her bathroom.

Her words made you cry even louder, your emotional release bringing only a bit of satisfaction.

Not long after you’d finally started calming down, the bathroom door had tentatively opened to reveal the object of your torment. You didn’t notice, too focused on relaxing your breathing and drying your eyes.

But, Sirius came over to you and laid a careful hand on your shoulder. You looked up, surprise flooding your features when you met his eyes. There was regret on his features, brows pinched gracefully in the center and eyes running intently over your face.

“I’m sorry.”

You wiped your fingers under your lashes, ashamed at the tears still streaming from your eyes.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Sirius.”

“Yes, there is. I told my idiotic friends about last night and they embarrassed you. And now you’re… sad.”

His words hung in the air as you tried harder to compose yourself.

“Look, Y/N. I’ve been… meaning to talk to you. I guess now is as good a time as any. I, actually, I think I like you. Well, that’s what Remus says my feelings mean, anyway. And I was thinking about it… I think he’s right. And last night felt right to me, somehow… I don’t know does that make any sense at all?”

As you watched him try to tell you how he felt, you felt a mixture of disbelief and confidence join the emotions coursing through you.

Then, he was looking at you again, and you were looking into his eyes and then at his lips. One of which was tucked neatly under his top row of teeth. You unconsciously leaned closer to him, smelling his woodsy scent.

His smooth lips curved into a little smirk.

“Are you going to kiss me, L/N?”

You smiled back.

“What if I was, Black?”

“Well, I’d let you, of course.”

With that, you both moved closer, closing the gap and crashing your lips together awkwardly, a little too enthusiastic to be gentle. You both shifted to make it more comfortable, and soon enough you were both smiling against each other’s swollen lips.

Jane, you're playing for fun but I play for keeps, yes I do

That's a game on me, yeah

Sirius was the first to pull away.

“Wait. I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. You’re not a one-time thing. You’re my friend, you’re… well you can be my girlfriend if you-”

“I like you too, arsehole. I’d be honored to be the girl who finally tied down Sirius Black.”

The second time you kissed Sirius, your lips met with a tenderness that you hadn’t felt before. It made your heart swell and cheeks heat. You tangled a hand in his hair and tugged just enough, getting the upper hand. When he opened his mouth in surprise, you leaned in and grabbed a hold of his lower lip with your teeth and bit down.

He pulled away, his expression one of mild arousal and surprise.

“Ow.”

Jane, Jane, Jane

So plain to see

Why you fooling with me, me, me

---

Tag List: @sirius-lysad @firekissedwitchbitch @ideas-nocturnas @hellizhelusive2 @boiolay @fallern618 @cyberbadman

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comicgeekscomicgeek · 5 years

Text

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 25: Toshi Midoriya—Boyfriend, Student, Personal Trainer, Wingman

Presenting the latest raw and unedited chapter of my ongoing, next gen, My Hero Academia fan fic, Their Hero Academia!

All previous chapters (and an infrequently updated sub-series devoted to the past of the universe) can be found https://archiveofourown.org/users/zylly/works

Toshi’s hair was still slightly damp as he entered the Common Room. He’d started the morning early, as he always did, gone for his morning run with Katsumi and Kana Tetsutetsu, then returned to the dorm for a shower and then breakfast. Tetsutetsu had been asking a lot of questions about Haimawari, which he’d answered as best he could, though he really wasn’t sure what was up with that. Ah well, if it was important, he’d probably figure it out.

The TV was on and he could see that Izumi and Askuka were watching it. He could hear a little of it. “…truck driver found dead this morning, appears to have been murdered sometime last night with no sign of his truck. Local police are being tight lipped and have not yet named any suspects. However, the driver did work for a shipping company with numerous government contracts…”

Well, that was a little weird. But before he could think any more about it, he was interrupted by arms wrapping around him from behind and the feeling of something—no, two somethings—very large, very soft, and very warm pressing into his back. “Good morning, Toshi!”

We’re sorry, Toshi dot exe has failed and cannot respond at this time. Please try again later.

It had only been a week, but he still couldn’t believe that Sora Iida liked him. Liked him liked him. Enough that last Sunday she’d accosted him when he’d gotten back from his morning run to confess. And, well, she was pretty and excitable and all kinds of amazing things and he was pretty sure he liked her too. They were young and figuring this kind of stuff out was what life was all about.

He didn’t know if she was getting advice from Mika Mineta or if this was just her usual lack of regard for personal space amped up now that they were dating, but he was pretty sure only an idiot would complain about it. Even if she seemed to be moving kind of fast. Sora was… really physically demonstrative. And he wasn’t sure he should be complaining about that, but still, fast.

…He really needed relationship advice, but he was also pretty sure, based on the stories of them in school, that Mom and Dad were not the ones to give it, nor Uncle Shoto and Aunt Momo, or Uncles Kacchan and Eijiro.

Aunt Mina had always said that any of them could come to her with relationship advice too, but he was pretty sure that was a really bad idea. Maybe Aunt Tsu? She was definitely the most sensible person in his parents’ class that he knew…

Sora gave him another squeeze. He gave her hand a squeeze, before she relaxed her grip and let him turn around. She was taller than him by several inches, shorter only than Shoji and Koda. It puts him at an… interesting level in comparison to her.

Toshi grined. “Good morning, Sora.” He frowned, though, when he saw the bags under her eyes, in spite of seemingly brimming with energy. “How much coffee have you had?”

“Just three…ish cups?” she tried, hesitating as she sees his eyes narrow. “…From the big mug.”

“Sora,” he said, “we talked about this. Coffee isn’t a substitute for sleep.”

She crossed her arms and huffed. “And I’m just supposed to let all my good ideas go to waste!?”

“If it’s a good idea at 2300, it’ll be a good idea at 0800.”

“Now you sound like Father,” Sora said. “That is not proper boyfriend soundings!”

Toshi held up both hands in a pacifying gesture. “Okay, okay, okay,” he said. “No dad-ing. I promise. Just… maybe ease off the coffee, okay? I can’t boyfriend if you’re so exhausted you can’t think.”

“…Your statement is not without logic,” Sora admitted. “I will have to incorporate these new variables!”

How did Uncle Tenya handle Aunt Mei?! Toshi was in way over his head here!

***

“All right,” Mister Aizawa said, “settle down. Before we begin today’s lessons, we have something important to discuss. The Sports Festival and the work-study week that follows.”

Toshi stole a moment to glance at the back row of the classroom, where Haimawari sat. He’d been talking his friend up to his dad fairly frequently now, telling him about his drive and his amazing Quirk. With no heroic background and so many second (or greater) generation students in this year’s crop of first years, Toshi knew that most eyes would be on people with proven legacies and now newcomers to the field. Haimawari was a good guy and deserved whatever kind of leg up he could get. It didn’t hurt that he was exactly the kind of person Dad almost always picked.

Toshi just hoped the shock didn’t kill him when it happened.

“We’ve had heroic legacies in the Sports Festival before,” Aizawa went on. “But this is the first year where we have classes primarily composed of the children of active Pro-Heroes, including the majority of the Top Ten. Combined with the uncertainty surrounding the Quirk Virus situation… needless to say, the eyes of the world will be on this Sports Festival more than any other.”

He fixed the class with an icy glare. “I am certain your parents are planning something. I’ve already forbidden them from extending offers to their own children, so don’t think you’re going to coast by. But knowing them, they’ve already made arrangements to exploit the loophole in that. However, as your teacher, I have final veto power over whatever offers you may receive.”

His eyes narrowed. “If I catch any of you at the Sports Festival performing at anything less than your best, I will see all offers extended to you declared null and void. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Mister Aizawa,” Toshi mouthed, along with the rest of the class.

Aizawa seemed satisfied with that, nodding slightly. He briefly looked down at the lectern to consult a piece of paper. “Doc Clock has also asked me to pass on the message that if any of you try anything like what Deku or Shoto did at your parents’ first Sports Festival, she will refuse to use her Quirk on you and instead leave you to Recovery Girl’s care.”

A small grin of paternal pride traced its way across his face.

As for the Festival itself, Toshi wasn’t worried. He was good with his Quirk, though he knew he could be better. But that pretty much applied to everybody in the class. Of course, the variable nature of the middle round made things a little more complicated and there was always the possibility of something new… But there was no sense in getting worked up about it.

No, if anything, it was the Tournament Round that concerned him the most. What if he had to fight somebody in from the class? So many of them were his friends, practically his family. He wasn’t sure he could really go all out fighting them.

What if he had to fight Sora?!

***

Two weeks. That’s what they had to get ready for the Sports Festival. And Toshi was bound and determined to make the most of it. With Heroics Class replaced by free-training periods for those two weeks, they had plenty of opportunity. The chance to show his parents, show the world, just how good he could be.

Despite having a dad who was the Number One Hero and a mom who usually ranked somewhere in the low thirties, Toshi did not consider himself having to escape from their shadow. He’d known, almost from the moment he’d decided to be a Hero, that there would be plenty of people who’d think of him as nothing more than Deku’s kid. And Dad, as the Symbol of Hope, was a standard no one could hope to match up to. They could only do like he did, and follow Dad’s example, and give it his best.

Toshi probably wasn’t going to be the next Number One Hero… but he was going to be the best Hero that he could. And he was going to help his friends be the best that they could be too.

Which was why he’d taken some time to help Haimawari and Shota, in one of the dojo-style training gyms. Both of them had great Quirks… but neither was the best physical fighter in the world. Haimawari relied on speed and zooming around, while Shota tended to rely on the raw power of his Quirk when fighting. Nejire had also managed to take Haimawari out rather quickly when she and the Laughing Man had attacked them during training, though that might have been from the speed and surprise as much as anything else.

Toshi got that. He was used to using his Quirk to bounce around, rapidly shifting from low to high gravity to bounce around and then hit like a freight train. But he also knew how to fight without it. Straight up brawling techniques from Dad, Gunhead-Style martial arts moves from Mom.

He brought up a hand, palm up, and moved his fingers in a “come and get me” gesture. “Okay, guys,” he said. “Two of you against one of me. No Quirks. Let’s do this.”

Haimawari rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “If you say so, Midoriya…”

“Kaaaai-yaah!” Shota let out a non-supersonic scream and rushed him. Toshi easily sidestepped his purple-haired friend and gave him a small shove, knocking him down to the mats.

Haimawari was slightly more cautious, throwing a few careful punches that seemed more designed to test him that to actually connect. With his long arms and legs, Haimawari actually had pretty decent range. If he could get a little power going behind them, he’d be pretty effective.

Toshi tossed off a jab of his own, probing Haimawari’s defenses. He missed and Haimawari actually managed to take him, striking him in the face with a blow.

He instantly pulled back, even as Toshi was seeing stars. “Oh, oh, no, Midoriya, I didn’t mean…”

Toshi just laughed. His opinion of Haimawari as a fighter obviously needed revising. “Why didn’t you tell me you could hit like that?”

“That was awesome!” Shota piped in, none the worse for wear in body or spirit from his tumble. “Only people I’ve seen hit Toshi like that are Kirishima-Bakugo and Tetsutetsu!”

Haimawari looked a bit embarrassed, chuckling nervously. “It’s nothing, just something my dad taught me, that his mentor taught him. From, ah, from when he was doing a neighborhood watch kind of thing.”

Something about the way he said that made Toshi think there was more to the story, but he didn’t really want to press it. It wasn’t like he wasn’t privy to secrets that he wasn’t allowed to share.

“Seriously, though,” Toshi said. “I thought you said you didn’t know how to fight without your Quirk.”

Haimawari laughed nervously again. “More like… I don’t want to? I don’t like the idea of hurting people, especially for something just like showing off like the Sports Festival. Guess what I really need is psyching up.”

Toshi punched the palm of his other hand. “Okay, mental conditioning. We can work on that.”

He looked over at Shota. “You… on the other hand…”

Shota looked a little embarrassed. “Yeah… I might need a little more help. Dad says it wasn’t until Uncle Shota started mentoring him that he really got any kind of good at fighting.”

“Well,” Toshi said, “I’m no Eraserhead, but I’ll do my best…”

***

Fortunately, it got better from there. Haimawari was better than he’d expected going in, even after that first punch. There was a lot of wildness to his punches and kicks, but even without his Quirk, he was fast and had plenty of reach. If he combined that with his Quirk, getting in a few hits and then getting away, and repeating that, he’d do great against anyone with a short range Quirk.

Getting Shota to actually think about his moves before going all in was really the hard part, and once he got past that, it wasn’t too bad. He wasn’t going to be as good a fighter as Uncle Hitoshi was, but at least he wouldn’t be breaking his hand if he punched somebody at the Sports Festival. And they still had two weeks.

Shota was bent over, hands on his legs, struggling to breathe. “I’m okay… I’m okay… I’m pretty sure I’m okay… The room was always spinning, right?”

“Take it easy, dude,” Haimawari said, guiding him over to one of the benches and helping him sit down. He got Shota’s water bottle and handed it to him.

“Small sips, Shota,” Toshi told him. “Don’t overdo it. You’ll just throw up.”

Shota reluctantly complied; Toshi could tell he’d been ready to guzzle it. “This… gets… easier, right?” he gasped.

Toshi nodded. “Eventually. We’ll try and do a little endurance work too.”

“Don’t know if I’ve said it, but I really do appreciate this, Midoriya,” Haimawari said, taking a drink of his water. He was sweating and breathing hard, but not nearly as badly as Shota. He was actually in pretty decent shape, probably because his Quirk was more of a physical one. But he was built like a runner, not a brawler, so what he could do was a little different.

“Happy to help,” Toshi replied. “We’re all in this together, after all.”

“Not worried I’ll take your spot at the Festival? Me and Dad watch it every year… it gets pretty competitive.”

Toshi waved it off. “Nah. I’m gonna do my best, you’re gonna do your best, that’s all that really matters.”

“How do you think it’s gonna go, Toshi?” Shota asked, no longer panting. He looked a healthier color too. “I bet you’re gonna win it! I mean, Uncle Deku did his second year and third year, and he’s your dad, so he probably taught you everything, even if your Quirks are kinda different, and…”

“I really don’t know, Shota,” Toshi said, a little bit quickly. Sometimes, you had to fight to get a word in edgewise with Shota. “Everybody’s got really great Quirks, not just us, but in the other classes too. And there’s always a surprise or two in the General Studies classes. Especially since we don’t know what the first two events will be.”

The first event was usually something that required covering distance and the second was always one that required teams, but that was about the only parameters that could be guessed. Toshi had seen everything from obstacle courses in the first to Quirk-backed games of dodgeball in the second and there wasn’t much predictable pattern to it.

He held out his hand, pam to the ground. “But when it does, we’re gonna be ready for it, right?”

Haimawari put his hand over Toshi’s. “Right.”

Shota did the same. “Right!”

“You three done nerding it up yet?” a voice from behind asked. Toshi turned to see Katsumi and Kana Tetsutetsu.

“I have yet to reach maximum nerd,” Toshi said, smirking. There’d been no malice in what she’d said. Katsumi just had to get everyone a hard time. It was just who she was. “Hey Tetsutetsu.”

“Hey yourself, Midoriya,” Tetsutetsu said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Katsumi said. “Well, make yourself useful and come show me some of those moves Aunt Ochaco taught you. Bring the Loud Kid too.”

“Shota. My name is Shota. You know that, Kirishima-Bakugo!”

“Sure it is,” Katsumi said. “C’mon.”

Okay, something was clearly up. He and Katsumi sparred sometimes, but she never just flat out asked him to show her any moves. Did this have anything to do with what Tetsutetsu been asking about this morning? Was… was Katsumi being her wingwoman? For Haimawari?

This was a day for the record books.

“Yeah, sure, I can do that,” he said. “C’mon, Shota.”

Shota, however, clearly wasn’t picking up on the subtext. “I don’t think I can fight anymore, Toshi,” he said, stifling a yawn.

“Then watch and learn, Loud Kid!” Katsumi shouted.

“Why don’t you come along,” Toshi said. He might as well play along with this. If only to get Katsumi out of having to play wingwoman any further. “Tetsutetsu, don’t think you’ve met Haimawari? You could probably show him some moves I can’t.”

“’Probably’?” Tetsutetsu asked. “You know I can, Midoriya. Nice to meet you, Haimawari.”

“Likewise,” Haimawari said, smiling. He looked like he knew something was up, but couldn’t figure it out. He offered Tetsutetsu a hand and she shook it, leaving him massaging his fingers afterwards.

Just a couple weeks into school and everybody was jumping into relationships. He was hardly one to talk, of course, but it still amazed him. Especially for all of them that had known each other for most of their lives. But here, away from their parents for the first time, maybe they were just figuring out who they wanted to be.

***

“Watch and learn, Loud Kid,” Katsumi said. She bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, hands up in a fighting position, before launching a powerful right hook. It was her signature move and she always telegraphed it. Toshi’d also been on the receiving end of it many times when sparring with her. Even when you could see it coming, Katsumi was fast.

Fortunately, he had time to dodge, and return fire, coming at Katsumi with a few quick jabs. She got her guard up though, deflecting his blows easily. “Gonna have to do better than that, Toshi,” she said, with a wicked grin.

Toshi dropped low, sweeping his leg. He knocked Katsumi down, but she was right back up before he could capitalize on it. He dodged her return strikes, shifting left and right rapidly. “Didn’t take you for the type to play wingwoman,” he said.

He blocked her next strike and even that stung like hell. “All I did was get you two out of the way,” she replied. “I wanted to spar with you anyway. If I can help out a friend, I can put up with a little lovey-dovey nonsense.”

Toshi knew she’d been turned down by Izumi after confessing her long buried feeling. That had to have hurt some, but she seemed to be plowing through it in her usual fashion. Which was not dealing with her more complicated emotions. Which probably wasn’t healthy. But all he could do was be there for his friend.

His friend who’d nearly taken his head off with her follow-up punch! He got his head out of the way, but she connected solidly with his shoulder. He grunted, firing off rapid fire punches in return that she deflected, until he altered his pattern, two right hand blows one after the other instead of a left and a right and felt his fist connect solidly with her chest.

Katsumi winced and backed off, keeping herself light on her feet. Laughing, she said, “Did you just bunch me in the boob, Toshi? What would your girlfriend say?”

Toshi’s eyes went wide for a second, before he recovered. “Very funny,” he said. Typical Katsumi, always trying to get a rise out of him.

They exchanged more blows, hammering away, deflecting, retreating, and coming back at each other. But without Quirks, they were just too evenly matched with each other for there to be a clear victor. Katsumi was probably stronger, but he was just lighter enough on his feet to make up for it. With both of them realizing that, they took a step back and exchanged boys.

Shota broke into applause. “That. Was. AWESOME! You gotta show me how to do that!”

Katsumi just laughed. It wasn’t a cruel laugh, but he could tell she didn’t really believe Shota had much of a chance in a physical contest. “Stick to what you’re good at, Loud Kid. Scream your way through.”

An idea occurred to Toshi and he had to turn away for a moment to hide his grin. “I don’t know, Katsumi, I was going to get Shota up to speed anyway, but if you don’t think you can train him good enough, I guess I’ll have to do it…”

The glare she shot him was worth it. “Oh, hell no. I didn’t say I didn’t think I could.” She snapped her fingers, then pointed at Shota. “I’m gonna train you until your arms fall off, Loud Kid! That’ll show you, Toshi!”

Toshi had to hide his grin again. Shota would get the training he needed and Katsumi would have a goal she could work on to keep from dwelling on things. If you knew what you were doing, helping your friends wasn’t too hard.

And he was going to do his best to make sure every one of his friends had a chance to shine.

#my hero academia #their hero academia #fan fiction #fan fic #my writing #toshi midoriya

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spring-emerald · 5 years

Note

oooooh you made me discover a new song!!!! gosh one sentence it's hard....hhhhhhhhh "i'm not wasting your time, i'm not playing no games, i see you". THANK YOU IN ADVANCE

Hello, @finnthebunneh! Wow, I’m glad to have helped you discover a new song. :D Also, I made your request a part of my actors au series (while the cameras roll) because it fits the direction i’m going for, for that particular story, so I hope you don’t mind. Though, i suggest reading through the previous fics in this series (to provide more context) here and here. Also, the Valentine’s Day scenario referenced here is this fic. You’re welcome, and thank you for sending an ask!

The thing about Akihito is that he never learnshis lessons. Or wait, no. He shouldn’t sell himself short like that, because hedoes. He really does, at least on most things. Like the sciences, much to thesurprise of people. But that’s not the point because for some lessons, whichcan be argued as the more important ones, well… it has a tendency not to stickfor long.

Case in point: he’s falling, yet again, for aperson who is in love with someone else.

Oh, he knows its karma. There’s no ‘probably’ inthat sentence. What with all those hearts he’d broken, when he knows for a factthat they’re only cover ups- shallow replacements for the person he reallywants but can’t have.

He’d long since accepted that Natsushima -while hewill undoubtedly still accept him as his friend- will never really return thekind of love he wants to have from him. But there’s a part of him that aches atseeing his best friend pursue someone else, put an effort that he never didshow anything and anyone before. Its why, unknown to Natsu, Akihito sought outTomoyuki.

Misery loves company and all that shit, after all,right?

Honestly, it was only supposed to be just that.And maybe see for himself that he’s doing much better than someone else sinceAkihito is aware that he and Tomoyuki are in the same boat.

But he had underestimated how much of himself hewould see in the other man.

Indeed, Akihito is the one doing better thansomeone else when it comes to pretending to be alright, because this Tomoyuki personis just barely holding on. But seeing him like that didn’t make Akihito feelbetter. At least he’s had years of practice with Natsu. But this guy? This guyhad been given a lot of hope since he was a kid probably, and when all that hadbeen swept away by someone else, he’s just left heartbroken and fumbling andlost.

After the confrontation where he let slip pastsome deep dark secrets, he knows there’s no way he can just ignore this guy orthe sense of kindred spirit he’d felt.

They formed a tentative friendship after that.

Tomoyuki’s awkward around him, conscious of the wayhe acts and the things he says, especially at the beginning. Wary about Akihito’sintentions, like he couldn’t believe that Akihito really wants to be hisfriend. But Akihito takes it with a stride and understanding. He’s used topacing himself with other people anyway.

Slowly but surely, Tomoyuki warmed up to him, tothe idea of them being friends, until one day, Akihito knows that they just are.

Tomoyuki, as a friend, is different. He’s a lotmore than he lets on. People think he’s this goody two shoes, but Akihito nowknows that he’s not just that. He’s snarky, and dorky, passionate aboutliterature the way Akihito is passionate about the periodic table of elements.

What started as banding together because of similarcircumstances became an unlikely friendship.

For Akihito, it’s also an unlikely attraction. Iteven started off with harmless thinking. Because knowing what he knows nowabout Tomoyuki, he wondered how Mariko have not noticed this, how come she didn’tfall for this? Tomoyuki is a great guy and he’s not hard to love.

The thing is, Akihito doesn’t stop thinking that. Buthe doesn’t dare ask himself about what it could mean.

Then Valentine’s Day happened.

Natsushima won’t shut up about his surprise andplans with Mariko, and Akihito usually doesn’t mind. He can say that nowsincerely, (because his heart doesn’t throb anymore, he doesn’t ache, like howhe used to and he’s suspecting that the presence of a certain snowflakehas something to do with this), but it’s also starting to drive him insane. Hehopes that Tomoyuki isn’t experiencing the similar fate from Mariko, and thatthe woman had the decency to gush about it with her girlfriends instead.Although, she doesn’t really know what Natsu is planning, does she?

Dammit.

The moment Natsu left, finally, he grabs hisleather jacket, rides his motorbike to their university and waits for Tomoyukiwith a plan to take him away.

Although honestly, the outing had been more forhis own benefit than anything else, and if he happened to help a comrade alongthe way while he’s at it, then no one will doubt that he’s really got a kindheart.

And one that falls fast too, apparently. Becausehe knows that that moment, was the moment that the seed of affection he wasn’taware he’s actually nurturing had already taken root, and the awareness hadbeen very much like a sprout breaking out of the soil to have its first tasteof the sun.

Akihito thinks then that he’s in trouble.

—–

Saeko-sensei, theirdirector for this taping day pulls the two actors aside. “So, Kuroo-kun andSawamura-kun, we’re going to be filming the admission scene.”

The Daichi nods,while Kuroo settled for humming, as a stylist is still busy taming his hairinto submission.

“I’m pretty sure you alreadyknow the emotions this scene demands from your characters, and deliver.” Shepats both of them on their shoulder and heads back to the director’s chair,while the stylist finally deems Kuroo’s hair ready to film and they too taketheir positions in front of the camera.

Kuroo waggles hiseyebrows at Daichi, earning him a grin before he schools his expression andturns his back on him.

The AC says theirspiel, claps the clapboard and the cameras start rolling.

Daichi stomps with ahuff but Kuroo quickly catches his wrist, halting his advance.

“Tomoyuki, wait!” Kuroo effectively injects some desperation in hisvoice. Akihito can’t let him leave likethis.

“I don’t appreciatebeing made fun of, Akihito,” Daichithrows his arms down, losing the hand holding him in the process. “So stopwasting my time with this nonsense, or whatever this game is that you’replaying.” How can Akihito do this? Had hebeen planning this all along? He thought they were friends.

Around them, some ofthe stylists that are watching the scene unfold on the small screen gasp softlyat how Sawamura-san’s eyes were perfectly conveying the hurt and betrayal in hiseyes, completely captured by the cameras.

Kuroo grabs one ofDaichi’s arms. “I’m not wasting yourtime, Yuki,” he says the name with alilt of affection. “I’m not playing no games.” He steps into Daichi’s space andcups his cheek. “I see you. And I’m telling you that I like you. More than as afriend.” Akihitio won’t make the samemistake. He won’t stay silent this time. He’ll take his chance, and he’ll provethat he deserves it. Because they also both deserve a shot at happiness.

Daichi’s taken in bythe sincere hopefulness and studies Kuroo’s face, his eyes, for signs of a lie,for a hint that this just one big, tasteless joke, but he finds none. He frownsin confusion and shrinks in hesitation. He swallows. Tomoyuki isn’t ready for this. God, he wants to believe Akihito rightnow, but… isn’t he in love with Natsushima? And Tomoyuki… He loves Mariko. Hedoes. Right?

Daichi’s breathing quickly,then shakes his head and pulls away from Kuroo’s hold. He can’t do this right now.

“I- I can’t… I’m- I’msorry.” Still shaking his head, Daichi blinks back the tears that arethreatening to fall and leaves Kuroo alone.

Kuroo stays there, runsa hand over his hair in frustration, grits his teeth and kicks the pavement. This is what you get for everything Akihito.He breathes heavily. No. He won’t letit end like this.

“And CUT!”

Kuroo loses thetension on his shoulders and goes up to Daichi and gives him a high-five,before they go over to the small screen to review what they’ve just shot.

“Great take, you two!”Saeko-san says with a wide grin. “Damn, it was so natural. Good job, you guys.”

“Thank you, Saeko-san.Though, Kuroo-kun did really well. He was so effective.” He bumps theirshoulders and throws him a dimpled smile.

“You flatter me,Sawamura-kun. Though I must say, your eyes really brought their A-game today,”he replies with a chuckle.

“Whatever,” Daichirolls his eyes.

Kuroo means itthough, and just watches on as Daichi converses with Saeko-san about the scene.They seemed natural, she said. Well, maybe they were, because Kuroo thinks hewasn’t completely acting back there.

Akihito isn’t the only one in trouble. Kuroo seemsto be too.

#haikyuu!!#kurodai #kuroo tetsurou #sawamura daichi #hq fanfic

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b0nie-studies · 6 years

Text

useful college tips

requested by @cl0udlessdays ☁️

i’ve wanted to do a big college help post for a while so hopefully this helps !

a small note that this is from my personal experience from studying in college in sg ! studying methods varies for people so you could add on to it if something helps you !

🌱 reframing your mindset

this is probably the most important part because if you dont have the proper attitude to study, its hard to do well. everyone can say they want to do well but not everyone can set their mind to do so. be that person !

i told myself i would cut down on social media and hang out sessions so that i can really focus on schooling. this step is really important for people like me that gets distracted easily.

⏰ as soon as possible

do your work and revise asap!! try to review your content within 3 days from your lectures !

when work piles up, you would feel even more stressed and defeated so DO THAT WORK !

✏️ do your hw but dont do everything !

honestly, the workload from college is crazy and if you try to do everything, you are going to burn out really quickly. definitely try your best to do your work, at least the most important bits if you are really struggling.

🗣 be vocal in class

try to answer questions when your tutor poses a question. it might be embarrassing if you get it wrong but at least it will result in a mental note to go over that detail in revision ! it helps you stay focused and engaged in class which helps to cut so much extra revision time !

ask your tutor questions asap ! it’s always hard when starting out and i always thought “what is there to ask??” but the more you try to generate questions, the more natural it is.

📖 revision breakdown

focus on your weaker subjects and topics from the beginning of the year because you will need more time with them to improve. ( dont neglect revision for the rest though ) make sure you have gone through your content at least two to three times before exams !!

content revision should be mostly completed by prelims before study break definitely !! make time for practice papers !

📒start a bujo

if you fail to plan, you plan to fail

i used mine to plan my study schedule ! i struggled a lot with studying in the past because i relied on my mood to study. if im feeling depressed, i just feel bad for a day and do nothing which makes me feel even worse. i relied on periodic spurts of productivity that comes like once in a while.

when i started planning my study schedule, i am able to study more consistently instead and make enough time for every subject

📕keep a journal

this is to write all your goals and aspirations.

to chart your improvement in school, after every test or study session.

to sort your feelings out so that you can clear your mind to study.

to write in when you feel like you are distracted from your original path so that you can note it down and try to focus again. ( usually me after fic binging days )

🏝 sacrifices will be made

in college, i really didnt have much of a social life so i had enough for revision. i still indulged in things i liked once in a while as a tried but your focus should be on studying if you want to do well !!!

DONT EVER SACRIFICE YOUR SLEEP !

😴 sleep is important

some of us may say sleep is for the weak but not true ! having enough sleep is important to recharge you so that you can have productive study sessions !

@educatier | how to sleep

📵 lay low on social media

on my second year, i had all my social media ( other than studyblr ) deleted. its really disrupting to see other friends having a life when you are mugging and trust me, that time feeling terrible can be used on something more productive.

🍃 have a study buddy

if u dont trust yourself that much in staying focused throughout a whole study day, study with a good study buddy !!  usually more productive with only one person but groups might work out with the right people

🖋 practice

 taking the time to consolidate is important but solely reading ur notes wont necessarily get you good grades ( esp in college ) !! practice writing out the content with syllabus, practice papers etc and review to see what you need to improve on !!

🧘🏻‍♀️take breaks

 this is actually so important but quite overlooked !! you need to satisfy yourself to stay motivated !! you need rest and energy to feel functional enough to study !! try to not take phone breaks because its hard to go back to studying.

i find exercising as a break really nice !!

💦 discipline over motivation

this is a valuable lesson that studyblr has taught me. motivation is less sustainable as a reward must be present and in the case you do not have enough self control, this method will cease to be useful. discipline, however, can help you to remain productive and on task consistently

@a-disciplined-life | how to be more disciplined

thank you for reading ! i know this is really long but i wanted to list everything that helped me ❣️cheers to all the kids in college, you can do this ! 🌟

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agrestenoir · 6 years

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fool’s gold 1/? (a miraculous fic)

Title: fool’s gold Characters/Pairings: Adrien/Marinette, Chat Noir/Marinette Rating: General Summary: When Adrien chooses the wrong place to detransform, his secret is revealed to none other than Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He knows he's taking a risk by trusting her, but perhaps it won't be that bad. After all, it means he finally gets to be honest with someone, show off some of the cooler parts about being a superhero, and get to know Marinette a little bit better. So long as Ladybug doesn't find out, thing'll be fine. Oh, what a naive boy.

read on AO3

Adrien Agreste is certain of a few things in his life:

1) He loves being Chat Noir. 2) He loves Ladybug. 3) He wants to know Ladybug’s identity. 4) He wants Ladybug to know his identity. 5) If anyone finds out his identity, other than Ladybug, he can’t be Chat Noir anymore. 6) He loves being Chat Noir. 7) Marinette Dupain-Cheng knows he’s Chat Noir.

The rain is slick against his skin as he runs across the school rooftop, sliding to a stop above the skylight where the thunder rattles the glass in the window frame. Muffling a soft curse, Chat Noir pulls on the rusty handle, claws digging into the metal as he tries to pry the window open without breaking it. It refuses to budge. He’d put more strength into it, but with his Miraculous beeping in warning, he knows he doesn’t have much time before he’ll transform back into Adrien Agreste…

…And then he’ll have a problem.

Deciding to face the consequences later, Chat Noir snaps the handle off—lock and all—before slowly pulling the skylight open and jumping down, slamming it close behind him. He lands in a low squat, resting back on his haunches, as rainwater drips onto the white tiles of the bathroom floor. Lightning paints the walls with streaks of light and shadow, and it takes him a moment to recognize that he hasn’t dropped into the boy’s restroom like he’d planned too.

A light blush dusts his cheeks as he quietly averts his eyes to the side just as his Miraculous gives its final warning. Chat Noir disappears in a flash of green, leaving Adrien Agreste standing in the middle of the deserted girl’s restroom.

Plagg slips out of the ring with a sly smile. “Well, kid,” he says with a low chuckle. “Never thought you had it in you.”

Adrien’s blush deepens, the tips of his ears turning a furious red, as he turns towards the kwami with a flustered gasp. “I wouldn’t—This was supposed to—Come on, Plagg!”

Large green eyes peer up at him eerily from the shadows. “Scream later. Camembert now.”

Adrien huffs to himself and digs into his jean pocket for the last piece of cheese he’s sure he’d stashed on his person before leaving the house. Lunch had been a rushed ordeal entirely—even before the akuma appeared on the local news—as Nathalie had been on his case for missing another piano lesson.

(Though, if he has to be completely honest, Adrien stopped caring about the piano shortly after his mother left. Having a musical outlet had been her idea in the first place, and if she can’t be here to hear him, what’s the point of him continuing?)

Nathalie was calm and spoke in soft tones, but he knows she’s getting frustrated with his antics. It was the second time this week he’d missed the piano lessons due to an akuma-related incident, the fifth this month alone.

He wonders at what point she’ll tell his father instead of making excuses for him.

The point of the matter, however, is that Adrien isn’t sure if he remembered to restock his cheese supply before leaving. Not like it matters in the grand scheme of things, considering he keeps a constant supply in his gym locker, but it’s still a commute from the upstairs girl’s restroom to the bottom level where the locker room is located. Plus, he’d have to listen to Plagg’s complaining the entire way, which isn’t something he’s in mood to deal with, especially after an akuma battle.

When his fingers can’t find any camembert, he tries his other pockets and comes up empty-handed. Damn it.

“Okay, Plagg, let’s head downstairs,” he says, opening his shirt to let his kwami slip inside. “There’s probably some camem—“

“A-Adrien?” The voice is like a gunshot—sudden and loud in the bathroom.

Shoulders tense, eyes wide, Adrien pauses because he knows that voice. He knows that. However, he refuses to turn around and be right—he doesn’t want to believe it. From the sound of harsh breathes behind him, though, he figures he needs to before he sends the stranger into a panic attack. On shaky legs, he turns around careful, slowly, and casts a nervous glance over his shoulder, scanning the shadows of the bathroom with scrutiny.

Just as he expects, Marinette Dupain-Cheng stands in the corner of the girl’s restroom.

“M-Marinette,” he says, hand rubbing the back of his head. He fists the hair at the nape of his neck as panic slowly sets in. “What’re you doing here? I thought you’d be in cl—”

And he prays and prays and prays she hadn’t noticed.

“You’re Chat—”

God has betrayed him.

“No, no—” He’s already shaking his head in protest. “D-Don’t say it!”

“B-But you’re—”

“Nope!” With lightning speed, he bolts across the room and plants his hand over Marinette’s mouth, muffling the rest of her sentence. Eyes wide with panic, Adrien pleads with her to forget what she’s seen.

“Please,” he begs, “please.”

Beneath his hand, Marinette’s jaw goes slack. He takes it as a signal to pull away, but before he can, she’s smacking his hand away from her face.

Her lips part as she says, in equal parts shock and horror, “You’re Chat Noir.”

Well, Adrien decides, he’s dead. Ladybug’s going to kill him.

Adrien Agreste is never one to believe in luck.

He tries not to think about it too much, to be completely honest. Plagg had once tried to explain to him the bare bones of the concept of Ladybug and Chat Noir, two halves of a whole, from Lady Luck to the Black Cat, and their powers of creation and destruction respectively. All he took away from that explanation is that Ladybug is epitome of all good luck in the world while Chat Noir is the incarnation of bad luck.

What more is there to understand?

Basically: Adrien is screwed no matter what he does.

This time, though, his bad luck is causing more problems that it’s probably worth.

Adrien slumps forward over the table, chin resting atop his folded hands as Marinette paces across the front of the deserted classroom they’d slipped into after he frantically cornered her during the Bathroom Incident™. Controlling the situation is the first thought on his mind; preserving his secret and whatever other damage control he has to take part in is of the utmost importance.

“You’re Chat Noir,” she says to the empty air.

“Yes,” Adrien responds, fighting the urge to hide his face in his hands. God, how could he be so stupid to detransform without making sure the place was empty?

As he watches Marinette frantically try to process his secret identity, he tries to reassure himself that things will be alright. It’s Marinette, after all. Bright and wide-eyed Marinette who lives life to the fullest, as if everything she does is a new experience she can’t wait to enjoy, but always so careful and critical when it comes to serious matters. Adrien hopes she realizes the seriousness of the matter that involves keeping her mouth shut and keeping his secret safe.

“You’re Adrien Agreste,” Marinette says.

“Yes,” Adrien responds.

A faraway memory burst to the forefront of his mind, of a rainy day and a black umbrella, where he told a girl he’d just met a few startling truths. Before Françoise Dupont, Adrien had never been to a school outside his home, never had a friend before Chloe Bourgeois, and Marinette was the first person he’d trusted and the first friend he made.

He hopes he wasn’t wrong. He hopes he can trust her. He hopes she’ll keep his secret.

He needs her to.

“You’re Adrien Agreste, and you’re Chat Noir.” It’s clear that Marinette is still processing.

“And some days I’m Jagged Stone,” he tells her, propping his chin atop folded hands. “I figure we might as well hit all my secret identities while we’re at it. Sometimes I moonlight as Dark Owl too when Mr. Damocles is too busy.” His voice turns bitter, but he sweetens it with a smile. “Just thought you should know.”

Marinette’s eyes go wide. “Don’t mess with me.”

Adrien rolls his eyes. “I’m just kidding, I promise.”

“Frankly, I’ll believe anything you tell me right now,” Marinette says, her voice a tad hysterical. Running a hand through her hair, she whirls around the room with a wild laugh. “I mean, you’re Chat Noir, like… Of all people to be him, it’s you.”

“First off, please keep it down.” He pushes himself out of his seat with a frantic glance to the closed door, making sure that no one has picked up on Marinette’s commotion. “I’d like to at least try to keep my secret identity a secret for a little while longer—”

“Yeah?” Marinette crosses her arms against her chest. “And how’s that working out for you so far?”

Anger bubbles in the pit of his stomach, the tips of his ears turning red. “That’s not fair. I would’ve been fine if you hadn’t been there. What the hell were you doing in the bathroom anyway? There was an akuma—you’re supposed to go to the safety zones.”

“I-I was…” This time, it’s Marinette’s turn to be flustered. “I w-was, I… I’m on my period.”

“So? That’s no reason to risk your life in an akuma battle!”

“What would you know? My u-uterus was trying to kill me, of course—wait, wait—why am I even explaining myself to you? You’re the one who jumped into the girl’s bathroom to detransform?” Adrien flushes a bright pink. “Is this what you do with your powers, Adrien? You sneak into girl’s bathrooms and—”

“No, what?!” he cries out, shaking his head. “No, I thought it was the boy’s bathroom!”

“Well it wasn’t the boy’s bathroom!”

“Thank you, Marinette. I think I got that when you saw me.”

“And who’s fault is that?” she presses.

To be honest, Adrien knows there really isn’t much he can do about the situation.

All he knows is that it really isn’t his fault, even if he should’ve checked the bathroom first. He didn’t wake up this morning and ruffle his hair, wondering who he could reveal his true identity to today, and set his sights on Marinette before he’d even pushed the covers back. Plagg can attest to that—Adrien never willingly sets himself up to ruin everything—it just happens.

Bad luck has a tendency to fuck things up sometimes. He doesn’t know why he’s usually the target.

“Look, regardless of what happened, and who’s fault it is, you know my secret.” Adrien steps closer, placing his hands on Marinette’s shoulders. “And I need you to keep it a secret, Marinette.”

She swallows thickly, trembling in his grip. “Why do—?”

“Because it’ll put a lot of people in danger: my family, my friends, Ladybug.” The nightmares that haunt him suddenly flash through his head—still painful and horrifying—the ones he always tries to forget. Closing his eyes, he bows his head. “Please, you’re my friend and I trust you, but… No one can know. You’re not supposed to know. Even Ladybug doesn’t know.”

“Ladybug doesn’t know,” came her sardonic response. “You sure about that?”

Adrien looks up, sees her lips pressed into a resolute expression, eyes distant. “She doesn’t. We swore we’d keep our identities a secret, even from each other. Obviously, I screwed that up—”

“Yes, you did. This is your fault,” Marinette interjects.

“—and now I need to make sure it stays that way. Please.” His eyes are bright and pleading. “Can you please keep this a secret, Marinette? I promise I’ll tell you anything you want to do, but I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anyone I’m a superhero.”

“I’m the only one who knows?” Marinette asks softly.

“Yeah,” he swears. “Unfortunately, it’s one person too much, but yeah, you’re the only one.”

She sighs at his words, seeming to crumble in herself as her shoulders hang heavy. “Okay,” she promises, voice low. “I’ll keep your secret.”

“Okay, okay,” Adrien says with a relieved smile. “Maybe I can get out of here without Ladybug killing me after all.”

“Yeah,” Marinette chimes in, still processing the news. “Maybe you can.

What a stupid boy, Tikki thinks. You’re definitely going to die.

#miraculous ladybug #marichat #adrinette #ml fic #miraculous #my fic #my writing #oh dear this is going to be fun

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queenofmahishmati · 7 years

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I GOT TAGGED BY 5 PEOPLE FOR THAT QUESTIONS MEME !!

So that’s 55 questions answered below, ((its soooper long and contains every single truth about my dorkery and pagan ritual and what not.. I'm not a cool person, nope, see for yourself))

Questions from @iwearplaids

Rain or snow ?

Rain, hands down. Snow is just pretty, covers the ground beautifully in white and then melts away. But Rain, rain enhances that smell of earth I love so much and brings forth memories of the time I used to sit on my balcony with a cup of tea, hot bajjis and my friends from college days.

What is/was your favourite subject at school ?

History. I used to finish reading each lesson as if I was reading a story book before our teacher was even half way through it. I used to be the cause of her headache, she almost always took my book away each time so I won’t do it. And Art, we had an art professor who was the first one to take notice of my sketching talents and helped me improve it. In one way or the other, its because of them that I am a Conservation Architect today!!

How would you rate your own blog ?

11/10. It needs a little more organizing and I will give it a fifteen :P

What is the most comforting smell for you ?

Smell of well washed pure cotton fabrics... reminds me of my mumma.

Top 3 fears

Darkness. Dark deep waterbodies. Losing a loved one without a proper goodbye.

Tell an embarrassing story.

Happens on a daily basis really... do you want to hear about the time I almost sat on Rana’s lap and scared him enough that he chose to sit on top of the armrest of the couch instead; or when I got locked out in the utility room of my house by my own silliness, without my mobile on me and had to wait till my flatmate (and the rest of my friends) came home and opened the door while I smiled at them like a dork from the other side of the glass door; or that one time I was standing on my terrace watching a meteor shower and my mum thought I was doing some kind of pagan ritual and took a video of it cause I was dancing around with a long stick in my hand facing up at the sky, while I was actually hopping in circles and spinning the stick around myself to escape mosquitoes...

Last book that you read and fell in love with.

The Great Derangement by Amitav Ghosh. Its the first of his non-fiction works I read and wow, it made me think deep and agree with his point that future history will call our period the most deranged of all times. Its about climate disaster and a must read in my opinion, I’m glad I picked it up at the airport while I was bored. With that said, his The Hungry Tide is one of my favourite books.

Your all time favourite movie ?

Kannathil Muthamittal (A Peck on The Cheek)

Would you say that you’re popular in real life ?

Yep, yes. People find my (child like) enthusiasm contagious and I can listen better than I talk (that’s what my friends say). So yeah, I’m kind of always surrounded by people mostly... unless I push them away myself to breathe.

Favourite accessory ?

Um... anklets? Oh no, I love bangles. Although, I barely wear any accessories. Its a surprise if I wear anything more than my usual earrings.

Flats or heels ?

Shoes or boots with heels. I’m short. I need that extra boost to bounce around on my happy feet.

Questions from @ruminationsofaraven

Coffee or Tea?

Tea. Always.

All time favourite book and T.V show.

Harry Potter series and Scooby Doo.

What would you rather choose to write about - Smut or Fluff?

Fluffy fluff that will soon turn angsty.

Spookiest story you’ve heard when you were a kid.

I have lived through three spooky experiences. I don’t need a story to top them. *shudders*

If you get a chance to change three things you regret doing in your life with a time-turner, what’d you choose to do?

Go back in time to when I met Rana and make sure I proposed to him rather than chickening out I guess?? Other than that, there isn’t anything I regret much except maybe knock my second boyfriend down in one clean punch before he even asked me out.

Have you ever dreamt about getting interviewed on the Ellen show?

Oh yes. Many many times!!

Fuck/Marry/Kill (Marvel Special) - Loki, Captain America & Bucky

Fuck Loki, Marry Captain America... and kill Bucky (yikes sorry)

Ever embarrassed yourself in front of a crush?

A lot. There was this one time in school where I was gushing about my crush to my friend and he was... well, sitting right behind me and heard the entire thing. Funny story, he’s my best ever friend right now and knows me better than my mum and I’m the Best Woman (maapillai thozhi) for his upcoming wedding!!

One Disney character who you can relate with irl.

Merida from Brave. You have no idea how much similar that movie is to my life LMAO

Have you ever stalked an ex?

Nope, I don’t dwell in the past. And except one asshat, the rest of my exes are still my friends (acquaintance).

Swap yourself with a character on a T.V show and that would be? Also, do you think you’ll survive in that universe.

Arya from Game of Thrones maybe. Oh yes, I would be a savage and kill everyone and win the iron throne for myself before dying at the white walkers’ hands, stabbed in the back cause I most probably was running away screaming bloody murder upon seeing them...

Questions from @fierarain

If you were given a chance to play God for a day, what would you do?

Kill off everyone I think that don’t deserve to live (you know who, mostly all those politicians). Save every child from disease and dying. Change people’s mindset and make them think about saving the Earth instead of destroying it. Make Harry Potter world exist for real. Read every book in the world if it was possible... and wish all of this could happen with a single snap of my fingers.

What’s your favorite quote?

“What you seek is seeking you.” and “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” - both by Rumi

What disgusts you the most?

Worms. And people who lack common sense.

What motivates you to get out of bed everyday?

Food. And the possibility of some unexpected unknown happening.

Describe any custom/ritual/tradition unique to your family/region/community.

My family is from the Chettinad region of Tamil Nadu and during weddings which mostly happens in our ancestral houses, the groom ties three different thaalis (mangal sutras) around the bride’s neck. And its like small, medium and large in size - like the cups we request at Starbucks... I find that extremely funny by the way!!

What part of the day do you look forward to and why?

Night. I love the stars. They make me wonder how much of a lie time is. The one twinkling cheerfully at me, does it still brighten up the galaxy or has it faded long back and I’m just seeing the ghost of its life standing this far away...

If given a chance to swap lives with someone, whom would you choose?

No one. I love my life, I’d pass that chance on.

Who/What is the center of your universe?

Rana?? Kidding... I am the center of my universe (and sometimes my family too).

What’s your happiest memory?

Picking Bakula flowers from the ground around a hundred year old tree with my cousins in the house back in our village... and then playing with them in the courtyard while it rained. I had a blessed childhood!!

Which fictional universe would you want to be a part of?

Harry Potter. (Or Star Wars)

Since everyone I know is in the Baahubali fandom….Devasena or Sivagami?

Sivagami. And Devasena. xP

Questions from @avani008

If you could know the answer to one unsolved mystery, what would it be and why?

I would like to know my purpose in this world maybe… But a mystery that already exists and I want answer to– How the ducking heck did they build the Kailasa temple of Ellora?? LIKE HOW??

Favorite myth?

Every time it thunders scarily, Arjuna is mad and stomping around the heavens like a crazy elephant. And wishes made upon shooting stars do come true!!

The main characters of the last two movies/TV shows you watched have switched places. What madness ensues?

Oh my god, the last two movies I watched was Aramm and Nene Raju Nene Mantri (re watch). Nayanthara and Rana’s roles swapped would be epic on one hand but also disastrous?? Like the corrupt Jogendra in Aramm scenario might have not done anything about the child, or that child could have been his redemption and he might have turned out to be better, I honestly don’t know... Now Madhivadhani in NRNM, I think we will get to see that madness for real in Aramm 2 when it releases. Although, she is a no-shit no-nonsense person and has her heart and mind in the right place (unlike Jogendra) !!!

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

Anywhere with my family around. Actually, some place that’s cold enough and has a beach. And of course, my family!!

Who would be the worst person to be stuck in an elevator with? How about the best person to be stuck in an elevator with?

The worst person to be stuck in an elevator with would be my brother, we would probably murder each other before help arrives. Best person would be… *drum rolls* RANA!!

If you could make a movie/TV series out of any book (or remake one if it exists already), what would it be?

There’s a book called “ஏழு தலை நகரம்” (ezhu thalai nagaram - seven headed city) in Tamil by S. Ramakrishnan. I would make that into a film for children.

What would be the title of your autobiography?

Stardust in search of her Star… Or Remembrall… or something decidedly more whacky depending upon the way I plan to write it.

Favorite poem?

This poem by Bharathiyar,

“ அக்கினி குஞ்சொன்று கண்டேன்-அதை ஆங்கொரு காட்டி லொர் பொந்திடை வைத்தேன் வெந்து தணிந்தது காடு-தழல் வீரத்தில் குஞ்சென்றும் மூப்பென்றும் உண்டோ?”

Translation: I found a small spark of fire and Placed it inside a burrow in a forest;The entire forest was burnt down to ashes; An ember is mighty enough regardless of it’s size!

Least favorite cliche/trope in fic or literature?

Love triangles. Or squares. Or Hexagon… its just over overused!!

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Be in places I want to be in the blink of my eye. I’m a lazy person in general, so that would help me get to places on time!!

If you could have dinner with any three fictional characters, who would they be and why?

Bhallaladeva, I would probably be next on his to-be-killed list for all the questions I ask over dinner. Baahubali, he’s gonna be a sweetheart really, but I would probably be ruthless and pry off his rose tinted glasses to make him see people for what they really are. Panchali, I know she’s not fictional but ever since I read Palace of Illusions, I have been wanting to know the real story from her perspective.

Questions from @sleepiszindagi

What is your best childhood memory?

My happiest memory above is also my best childhood memory.

Most recent movie watched?

Aramm, I watched it on Saturday. I loved it!!

What do you feel most proud of?

My mother. And my achievements because of her.

If you could only keep 5 possessions, what would it be and why?

A magical pot that could make food any time, my bed to sleep in, my phone to keep in touch with everyone and everything, extra clothes and MY BOOKS.

How do you spend your free time?

Plotting world domination. No really, I would be sitting at one of the windows and cooking up some crazy story in my head as I day dream about ruling the world.

What are your three favorite movies and why?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban cause that’s the first one I watched in the series (until then I was like, movies don’t do justice to the books). Kannathil Muthamittal cause it hits me emotionally on so many levels. Baahubali right now because you know why…

What is your strongest personal quality?

I’m Realistic. Of course I babble a lot and dream more than that but in the end of the day, I’m probably one of the most grounded person you will meet.

What is your most embarrassing moment?

Again, answered up above somewhere.

What age do you feel right now and why?

I feel like I’m 26 going on 6 most of the times cause I have the temperament of a toddler. I try to act my age though, mostly…

What is a skill you would like to learn and why?

Um, different ways to do my hair maybe on top of learning how to toss pancakes and omlettes.

Which movie are you most awaiting for and why?

Right now, The Last Jedi. Cause STAR WARS really, what more reason could be there??

#know me better #questions meme #answered at last #thats all i hope??#this took me two hours #you hear me TWO HOURSSS

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kuriquinn · 7 years

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Miso Soup Everyday

Summary: This is supposed to be a certainty – the one sure thing in his entire life. Yet he can't fight the same mounting apprehension he experiences when crossing into a dimension he's never visited before.

Disclaimer: This story utilises characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelisations, comics or short stories is intended by KuriQuinn in any way, shape or form. This fan-oriented story is written solely for the author’s own amusement and the entertainment of the fandom. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organisations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

All plot and Original Characters except for those introduced in the canon books, manga, video games, novelisations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn. (© KuriQuinn 2016—)

Warning: Spoilers for everything in Naruto (up to Chapter 700).

Canon-Compliance: This work is loosely part of the Legacy of Fire series. It is and is not canon-compliant (for reasons that will be made clearer in my as yet unnamed and unwritten Sakura/Sasuke Blank Period Pre Pregnancy Get Together travel fic. Yes, it’s kind of complicated.

Beta Reader: Sakura’s Unicorn

Honestly, it’s a bit of a role reversal.

When they were children, Sasuke was the aloof one—cool and confident, perpetually at ease in his role as the storied prodigy of Konoha. He was the genius of Team Seven, overshadowing Sakura’s presence as if she was only an afterthought. Naruto and he had their rivalry between them, so it was all too easy to consider Sakura as a barely requisite third wheel. Insecure and needy, she trailed after him like a puppy.

That’s no longer true.

These days, it’s Sakura (alongside Naruto) who is the beacon of hope in the community, the hero little children crowd excitedly around when she walks through the streets. Sasuke is the one people don’t think of—or rather, prefer not to think of. He’s the third wheel of the Sannin’s heirs, whose reputation is maintained only by his connection to the other two. He might have helped to save the planet, but it’s Sakura’s name that opens doors.

And if that doesn’t work, her fist splinters them.

Since returning to Konoha, Sasuke has noticed the whispers and stares that follow them when he and Sakura go anywhere together. Initially, he thought the behaviour was directed at him—judgement for his past deeds and the dark legacy that will hound him until he dies. Except, the general tone of the whispers is usually deferential. He knows from years of wandering that people are more likely to avert their eyes than risk his attention. Thus, it’s Sakura to whom they look—she holds the admiration of every inhabitant of the growing village.

What’s surprising about it, though, is how much he doesn’t mind. As a child, the idea of being second to anyone was unacceptable, especially compared to his teammates: Naruto, because he was the village screw-up, and Sakura because she was just support—an admirer to cheer on his successes and, in the early days of their team, to highlight just how far Naruto was beneath their collective skill level.

It’s all different now.

Sakura is the one who stayed in Konoha, working hard to earn the respect and awe of the village. These days she walks confidently in the sun while Sasuke is content to watch her from the shadows.

It’s ironic, actually. In three short years, a civilian-born girl with no bloodline talent to speak of achieved more widespread respect than the Uchiha clan did in three generations.

He wonders what his parents would have made of Sakura. He likes to think they would have approved.

Father would have been terse and silent, but even he wouldn’t be able to deny her incredible talent. Mother would warm to her instantly because her temperament was rather similar. And his brother…

Sasuke can’t help a rueful, bitter smile at this. Itachi would have probably figured out Sasuke’s feelings for her before Sasuke himself did.

He’s aware enough of his shortcomings these days that the admission comes easily. He understands that he’s cared for Sakura since their Academy days—lack of natural talent aside, she intrigued him, even if he didn’t show it. Humans are visual creatures, and her hair alone meant he couldn’t pretend she didn’t exist the way he could with other kids. On top of that, she was intelligent enough to beat him on every written test, though she never sought to compete with him.

This, too, is ironic. Perhaps if she’d approached him as a potential rival, he would have seen her value earlier on.

Instead, his childhood memories of Sakura are of a pretty and shallow (yet kind) girl trailing behind him. Even then, she had a remarkable tenacity and dedication, bringing him Valentine’s Day gifts every year and patiently enduring his constant rebuffs. Sasuke didn’t even realise until much later—until that last fight with Naruto—that with every passing year, another chunk of his heart fell into her waiting palm.

Knowing that should make his plans today easier, but it doesn’t.

He’s had nightmares since the end of the war—dreams which take up the space in his head where revenge was once so prominent. Most often, they are of that day long ago when he almost snuffed out her light. Sometimes, Sasuke still feels the phantom heat of the Chidori in his palm, can still see her back bared to him as he moves closer.

He knows now that if he’d landed that blow, he would not have survived the war.

As mad with grief and rage as he was, having Sakura’s blood on his hands would have shattered his already damaged psyche beyond repair. The loss of Itachi coupled with the truths about his brother’s life had thrown him off the deep end; responsibility for Sakura’s death would have kept him there.

He doubts she realises this, even though they’ve spent more time together since his return—partaking in quiet dinners or long walks when her schedule allows for it. There’s even the rare sparring match that leaves him bruised but proud. She doesn’t ask him why he’s around so often or allude in any way to how she feels for him.

If she still feels for him.

She as good as told him in her letters that she was tired of waiting. Likely, it’s too late for anything, regardless of his belated hopes. And yet, despite this, Sasuke has been vacillating about the matter since he came back to Konoha. Until today.

At least he hopes.

It’s become habit to pass by the clinic to pick Sakura up after work. She falls into step with him with more ease than she ever did when they were young. Sometimes, they meander through the town while she chats about her day. Sometimes, they find an out-of-the-way restaurant to get a bite to eat. Sometimes, when she’s exhausted, he simply walks her home.

Today, though, he leads them along the river toward the lake. They’ve walked this way before, but he’s never led her down the embankment. She doesn’t ask where they’re going, which he takes as encouragement.

The dock where he spent so much time alone as a child looks almost exactly as it did then. The wood is slightly warped, causing it to tilt downward toward the lake a little, but it’s still sturdy. There are burn marks on the edges from lessons long ago. He stares at them for a beat, allowing memories to take him out of the present for a few moments.

Beside him, Sakura is still as well, but it’s a comfortable quiet. Now that they’re older, she’s more intuitive about his reticence. As children, she would talk his ear off as if terminally afraid of a drawn-out silence, filling it by any means. Sometimes, he appreciated this because it saved him the effort of having to maintain a conversation (especially when they were around other people).

Most of the time, though, he just wanted her to leave him to brood in peace.

These days, whether it’s because of her own wartime experiences or her work with those who have suffered its effects, she knows exactly when to simply linger quietly. And, as usual, he appreciates her waiting for him to open the conversation. It takes a little more effort today to find a way to start.

“This where I learned to perform Katon,” he tells her finally, his voice even, despite the way his stomach spasms with nerves.

“Oh?” she inquires, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees her look up at him, surprise and curiosity flickering across her features. He seldom, if ever, talks about the past—even more rarely does he speak of the time before they were genin.

Sasuke nods, staring out across the calm waters. “My father taught me. It was the only thing he was able to show me before he…died.”

Even so many years later, the pain is still as raw as it was the day of the massacre. The blinding rage is gone now, however. When he notices small, strong fingers tentatively wrap around his right hand and give a brief, reassuring squeeze, his instinct is to return the gesture, instead of pulling away.

“The technique was created by the Uchiha clan,” he goes on, sticking to facts because this is what he knows for sure. Facts are unchangeable, not hinging on chance and sentiment. “My family honed it over the years and, even though others have learned to master it, they could never achieve the exact effect that we could.”

He perceives her nod at this, but senses confusion as to why he’s bringing this up right now. She won’t ask, though, intuitively accepting that he has some purpose. Not for the first time does he think she trusts him far too much than he deserves—far more than he even trusts himself.

But today there is a purpose, and if he could ignore the nagging doubts at the back of his mind, he might be able to get to it. This is supposed to be a certainty—the one sure thing in his entire life. Yet, he can’t fight the same mounting apprehension he experiences when crossing into a dimension he’s never visited before.

“Would you like me to teach you?” he asks, inwardly cringing at how tentative he sounds, despite his efforts to be casual.

Luckily, Sakura is too caught off-guard to notice. “You’ve never asked me that before.”

“I never recognised the opportunity,” he admits. Too blinded by rage and revenge, it never occurred to him as a kid that the teammates he considered dead weight might improve faster if he helped them.

Sakura knows this too and doesn’t argue the point. Instead, she says, “I’m not a fire type, though.”

“That shouldn’t stop the apprentice of the Fifth Hokage.”

Sakura scoffs. “That sounds like a challenge.”

“Hn.”

“All right! You’ve got it!” Sakura declares, making a show of rolling up her sleeves and facing the lake. “Stand back and watch me! Shannaro!” She flexes her fingers, preparing to form the requisite hand seals, and then glances back, a ghost of doubt on her face. “Um…any pointers?”

Sasuke’s mouth twitches at this.

He gives her a demonstration and the same advice his father offered.

She masters the technique faster than he did. Not on the first try, like Itachi, but within hours. He puts that down to her excellent chakra control and the fact that, as a jōnin, learning to master new techniques quickly is a prerequisite. There’s a huge difference between her abilities and those of a seven-year-old with self-esteem issues.

Thanks to her instant healing, there’s no obvious signs of damage—her cheeks aren’t burned, and her lips haven’t chapped from the flame. But the tips of her hair are singed a little and her skin is rosy from the heat.

After expelling the last fireball, Sakura coughs, smoke wafting briefly from mouth and nostrils, but when it dissipates, her eyes are dancing.

“How’s that?” she challenges, hands on her hips and chin jutted out.

Sasuke smirks. “As expected.”

“Oh, come on! That was amazing and you know it! Mine might even be better than yours!”

“Tch.”

She laughs at that.

“I think I burnt my tongue. My taste buds aren’t going to work properly for a week!” Her face becomes inquisitive. “What’s the occasion, though? Or did you really just want to avoid another gourmet dinner at Ichiraku with Naruto?”

As Sasuke has come to expect from her, Sakura provides him with an out. He’s not entirely sure how long she’s been doing that, or even if it’s intentional, but he appreciates it all the same. Today, however, he will not make use of it.

“That’s an extra benefit,” he allows, earning an amused, somewhat conspiratorial grin. He pauses, momentarily at loss of how to say what he needs to say. Eyes trained on the surface of the lake, he steels himself and continues. “This technique…in my family, it’s a rite of passage.”

He lets that sink in.

“Oh, yeah. I think you mentioned that once,” she says thoughtfully. “Or Kakashi-sensei said it. It’s like a coming-of-age tradition, right?”

“Aa,” he affirms and, trying to lace his words with meaning, confides, “It’s only passed on by close family members.”

“Right. That’s why your father taught you. I think that’s a nice tradition.”

Sasuke winces inwardly because she clearly doesn’t understand what he’s trying to say. It’s not a failing on her part, but his own inability to articulate the point properly. The words are there, but for some reason, they die somewhere between throat and lips. Demons and malevolent gods he can take, but this five-foot-four woman with pink hair makes Sasuke nervous. And it’s not because she can crush his skull with her little finger, either.

“Until one can perform the technique properly, one cannot truly claim the name Uchiha,” he explains, hoping the inflexion of the words conveys his intended meaning.

But Sakura still doesn’t get it.

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a child,” she says lightly. She’s probably imagining him struggling to learn the technique, terrified of failure. She wouldn’t be wrong, either.

The knots in Sasuke’s stomach get worse and, if she doesn’t realise soon, he’ll have to spell it out for her. He’s half-angry about that because she’s supposed to be smarter. She should intuit what he’s trying to say and save him from making an utter fool of himself.

“Not only a child,” he corrects, again elaborately casual. “You performed it perfectly.”

Please…just…listen to what I’m trying to say.

There’s a heavy pause, and then Sakura’s breath catches in her throat. The silence between them suddenly isn’t so companionable now, but fraught with a tension like the entire world is holding its breath. Sasuke doesn’t look directly at her as she parses his words, using that blinding intellect of hers to understand what he’s trying to ask. Still, he glimpses her face from the corner of his eye and this is how he watches her expression blossom with understanding.

Success.

He turns to her.

“I have no right to ask anything of you,” he says plainly. “Not after everything.”

“Sasuke—”

“Sakura, let me…” he trails off, jaw working and his own voice catching as the words get lost again, but damn it, he has to get this out! “I don’t know if I can be what you want, what you’ve hoped for. Or if I can give you everything that you deserve. And it’s possible I’ve waited too long.” He swallows. “But when I think of family—even at my lowest point, where I’d given up on the idea—you were the only one I could ever see myself with. The one that I…”

Again, words fail him, and Sasuke wants to swear in frustration. He needs her to know because maybe the faster he gets it out, the better the odds will be. Sakura deserves so much better—always has—and could have anyone else. She should have anyone else, but he’s still hoping that she won’t want anyone else.

“Say it.”

Sasuke is rather jarringly brought out of his rambling, insecure thoughts by a cracking whisper.

Sakura stares up at him, tears welling in her eyes. Why is it him who always makes her cry? He expected her to be flustered or awkward, but instead, she looks the same as she does when bracing for a physical blow.

This confuses him. “What?”

“I need you to say it,” she tells him, barely above a whisper. “Just once. Say it and mean it.” Her fists clench. “I’ll never ask to hear it again, if that’s what you want. But before I can say yes—to the future, to trying, to…to all of it—you have to say it.” She takes a shuddering breath. “If you can’t, then I…I…”

She trails off as if the idea is too hard for her to even enunciate, too painful to consider—for either of them.

Sasuke has never been good with words. What he feels for Sakura, he doesn’t want to—can’t, really—put into words. There is no collection of syllables or sounds that are accurate enough to describe the girl who gave him her heart when they were children. The woman who waited for him for years, who forgave him for trying to kill her, their best friend, and their entire village. He’s wandered the world, looking for redemption, and it’s only since returning here that he’s realised he had it the whole time.

He wants to tell her all of that, but he doesn’t think she’ll understand. Not now, not yet—not while they’re still getting used to being around one another. Maybe after a lifetime, if she’ll give him that, it will come easier—his words and her ability to trust in him.

But for now, she wants something so simple, something almost infantile, as if a set phrase is a guarantee, a safety net, or a reward of some kind. He knows this, but struggles to give it to her, because it’s so insufficient. And everything about him to date, when it relates to her, has been insufficient.

If he does this wrong, she’ll turn away—it’s why she’s giving him this ultimatum in the first place. In their time apart, she’s developed into a strong, independent individual with unapologetic self-respect and unmalleable resolve. She knows what his hopes are, the unspoken wish behind one of his ultimate goals. But Sakura won’t become the vehicle for his happiness unless she’s sure she’ll benefit from it as well. It’s only fair and Sasuke admires her even more for it, but right now, it’s making him want to turn tail and run.

“Sakura…” He really, really wishes he was better at this.

Just do it already, you ass.

And why isn’t it surprising that, in this moment where the rest of his life might change for better or worse, Sasuke can clearly hear the voice of his idiot best friend telling him what to do? It almost makes him want to check to make sure the halfwit isn’t lurking somewhere nearby.

Regardless of its source, the advice is right. No more good can come of waiting.

Sasuke bends down so that his forehead presses against Sakura’s, bringing them eye to eye. She tenses up and her pale cheeks flush with colour, her lips parting in surprise. If this position prevents Sakura from seeing the colour rising on his own face or noticing that his hand is shaking as it gently takes hers, all the better.

“I don’t know what the future holds,” he says in a low voice, “but I want to spend it with you.”

Her lower lip trembles at this. “Because…because you love me?” Sakura prompts, the question a whisper but with a mettle to it. It’s a firm reminder that she will not let him off easy in this moment.

Sasuke exhales through his nose in defeat, eyes closing in affectionate resignation. “Because I love you.”

When he opens his eyes, Sakura’s are (if possible) wider than he’s ever seen. The utter shock etched into every other feature is simultaneously amusing and worrisome. He wonders dimly if, against all odds, this is finally what breaks her.

Putting some distance between their faces, he gently taps two fingers beneath the rhombus-shaped seal on her forehead—partially to make sure she’s still cognizant, but also to drive the message home. Sakura has never completely understood the gesture before in the handful of instances he’s demonstrated it, but now understanding flickers into place—that this is not just today, and not only because she asked him, but that he’s wanted this for so much longer.

Glassy green eyes are now overflowing with tears, the droplets winding down the curves of her cheeks and quivering jaw. Mild panic sets in—why is she upset? Shouldn’t she be happy?

“Sakura, why are you cry—mmph!”

Fingers fist in his shirt and a pair of soft lips are planted very firmly against his own.

Sasuke stands frozen for several seconds. Dimly, he supposes he should’ve expected this, because isn’t this what’s meant to happen when two people acknowledge feelings for one another? Essentially, he asked Sakura to spend the rest of her life with him, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that there would be a physical confirmation of this. Only, he didn’t quite expect it to happen so fast. Well, fast, he thinks, is relative. They have been building up to this since childhood, but he’s still not sure—

“You’re supposed to kiss me back,” Sakura mumbles against his mouth. If he wasn’t blushing before, the embarrassment hits fully now.

Still, the permission takes at least some of his discomfiture away.

Slow and tentative, Sasuke returns the kiss. It’s clumsy and uncertain because he’s never done this before, but she makes a small, approving noise at the back of her throat and he guesses he’s doing something right. Sakura tastes like smoke from the Katon and something sweet he doesn’t have a name for. He suspects he could spend the rest of his life trying to figure it out without success, an idea doesn’t bother him at all.

She fits her mouth over his, softly pulling his bottom lip between hers, and Sasuke’s senses fade out. Something like relief passes over him, as if a weight has been pulled from his very soul. The last, tightly coiled vestiges of doubt and anxiety which have gathered in him for years are now gone, and the only thing in the world is her. That, in itself, is mildly terrifying, but in a good way.

Achingly slowly, Sakura pulls away from him, reaching up to brush his hair away from his left eye. Her fingers stay in place, keeping the strands from falling back while her thumb traces a gentle arc from eyebrow to temple. He leans into the touch and she grins at him.

“Well?” she prompts. “What do you think?”

“…Hm?” It should concern Sasuke that his brain takes a second or two to catch up.

“Better than Naruto, right?” she wants to know.

The post-kiss haze vanishes. Sasuke sputters out a wordless response because that’s not how these things are supposed to go. His people skills might be rusty, but he’s pretty sure it’s far from normal to remind the man who just confessed his feelings for you about his (very unwilling) first (and second) kiss with their mutual best friend.

Sakura is laughing, at him or at the situation, he doesn’t know. He should be annoyed about this—and if she ever tells anyone about it, he will be—but the tears in her eyes are from mirth, not pain or sadness and, for once, he doesn’t regret putting them there.

“Yes, by the way,” she tells him happily, leaning into his chest. “Yes to all of it.”

終わり

Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you enjoy it! Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome! If you want to support my writing, I accept ko-fi donations and have started posting original fiction on my patreon account, Kuriworlds I encourage you to check it out!

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