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leifkncries · 2 years

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human mammon au FR

extras:

MARCO = MAMMON

MARCO = he's a model. i will only read the magazine to see him.

MARCO = should i make him an anime voice actor so that leviathan has an excuse to hang out with him that isn't 'u remind me of my dead brother'

Marco hummed, scrolling on his phone. Eyes drifting to the time, it was 11:59PM. He huffed. He should sleep soon. Glancing down from his phone, He put it down to stretch a bit. Groaning, He scratched his eyes. "Ugh...." He muttered. Closing his eyes, he furrowed his brows.

A white light enveloped his body, the light aura slowly covering him from head to toe. After Marco stretched, He opened his eyes. The look on his face. Can you imagine it? His eyes widened, jaw dropped, arms flat on his sides, standing still, and his skin paling.

"Wha' the he-" He bagan to say, before getting cut off by an ear-piercing sound. "My phone.. I CAN'T EV'N CALL 'E' POLICE?!" He shouted, hysterical. I mean, who could blame the dude. Picture this. You have insomnia, you're downstairs in your home, you're thinking about how you would die, you're famous, you set your phone down and stretched, then suddenly you open your eyes and look at fucking heaven.

How would you react? Right answers only.

..Yeah.. You would cry and have a panic attack, wouldn't you.

You wouldn't think straight, even if you were heterosexual.

Dude, if This was how you'd die, the least that could happen first was having a comfortable life.

Comfortable life? Those words were foreign to Marco here.

Suddenly, The white light disappeared, and He saw a man with red hair smile at him. "Welcome, Marco. I wonder if you got lost in the store and it was a nightmare due to the fact when your mother called for you, everyone yelled back 'Polo'." He chuckled.

"Lord Diavolo.." A black haired man deadpanned, furrowing his brows and crossing his arms. "Alas, Welcome to the Devildom." The man, now known as 'Lord Diavolo' welcomed. "Ahm.. Am I dead?" Marco tilted his brows, worried for himself. Lucifer's eyes widened, hearing the voice.

"No, You don't have to worry." Diavolo chuckled awkwardly, sweat dripping from his forehead at the bold statement. "...." Marco shifted uncomfortably in his position, not understanding what was happening. "Basically what's happening here.." Diavolo pursed his lips in thought.

"I will take over, Lord Diavolo." The ravenette firmly stated. "Ah, Okay Lucifer." Diavolo smiled. "I'm Lucifer, The avatar of Pride." Lucifer uttered. "You're in the Devildom. You are now a transfer student at RAD, Lord Diavolo's school." He pointed to the maroon-haired man.

"Oh yeah, We're also demons." Diavolo piped up, the same smile on his face. "Lord.." Lucifer deadpanned, looking at Diavolo disappointingly. "It's better to be blunt, Lucifer." Diavolo proudly stated. "Uh huh..." Lucifer's lips formed a straight line.

"Wha' A'm gettin' here... I go' transpor'ed ta another world call' the devil'om.." Marco's eye twitched, beginning his sentence. " 'm I in hell?.." Marco squinted his eyes, disbelief present in his features. "Yes, You're in.. what humans call it, Hell." Diavolo bluntly explained.

"You'll come back in a year though, No need to worry." Diavolo grinned. "You see, It's an exchange program. There's another human here, and also two angels from the Celestial Realm, or 'Heaven' like you humans also call it." He hummed, explaining even more.

"Lord Diavolo.." Lucifer sighed for the millionth time today, a frown on his face. "We're here as well, you know!" A light voice interrupted any train of thought. "Ugh, Finally. You notice the real show!" A man with strawberry blonde-ish hair rolled his eyes, huffing.

"Hello, Dar-" He began, before his eyes looked unto Marco's figure. His eyes widened, and He nearly fell. There was a man beside the light haired man's figure. A blonde with piercing green eyes.. oh dear. Is it Draco? The blonde's eyes widened as well, and He looked dumbfounded.

"Hahaha... Lucy~~~ What is this?~" The light voice rang in a sing-song way. "I know what you're thinking." Lucifer narrowed his vision, furrowing his brows. "I thought you've moved on...." He had an unreadable expression. Was it rage? Fury? Anger? Or was it.. thankfulness?

"You think I've moved on?... Really now.." Lucifer glared an icy cold one, one that could even break windows. "Ugh.. Lucifer." His once happy smile turned into a bitter one, even forgetting to use the nickname. "I know, I already know." Lucifer frowned. Hey, is it just me or did the tension suddenly turn from 0 to a hundred?

"Ahm." Marco hummed, blinking multiple times in confusion. "Ah! Sorry, Sorry!" The man smiled suddenly, the mood swing happening immediately. "I'm Asmodeus, the avatar of lust! So nice to meet you!" He held up a heart, closing his eyes to show a sweet smile.

"Eh?.. Nice t' mee' ya too I guess." Marco was visibly confused and concerned for whatever the fact this shit is. "They're all my brothers, the avatars. Of course, I'm the oldest." Lucifer stated, eyes still not meeting anyone's. "I'm the fifth~" Asmodeus winked.

"I'm the fourth. Greetings, I'm Satan. The avatar of wrath." All the words the blonde uttered were coated with grace, bowing respectfully. "A- Um.. Nice t'a meet ya too?" Marco awkwardly greeted, narrowing his eyes and scratching the back of his neck.

Suddenly, He saw a flash of orange. Was that pikachu? Nah, Pikachu ain't that orange, it can't be raichu either. Sonic's blue.. Suddenly, a man with orange hair appeared in front of Marco. He had sparkles in his eyes. "Mammon!" He hugged him.

what.

Marco, who was not only surprised but confused as well, tilted his head and had a look of disbelief. "Beel..." A quiet voice murmured. Is it a ghost? A dull purple- or is that dull indigo? haired man with a pillow and shadows under his eyes frowned.

Suddenly, his eyes drifted to Marco and a rare smile appeared on his lips. "Good to see you back... Now... Beel!.." He pouted, furrowing his brows. Wait- What the hell- "Sorry about them. The orange one is Beelzlebub, The avatar of Gluttony, 6th, and The other one is Belphegor, The avatar of Sloth, and also the 7th." Diavolo explained quickly.

Oh, Alri-

Wait, why am I getting used to this?!

Ugh.. This is weird.

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leifcknsobs · 2 years

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HUMAN MAMMON AU except it's incorrect quotes PART 1

Marco, walking into their house: Ello, people who don't live here.

Lucifer: ...

Leviathan: Yo!

Asmodeus: Hello!~

Satan: Oh, Hello.

Marco: I gave y'all the key to me place for emergencies only!

Beel: We were out of Doritos.

Asmodeus: Hmp! Say what you want, I have a modeling gig for 2 people, want to join, Marco?

Belphie: Say what you want. I wanted cuddles.

Leviathan: Hey! We were going to play a game!

Lucifer: I.. I have no excuse.

Satan: Ha! I have one. See, we're not similar at all! Marco, let's go to the cat café!

Marco: How did y'all even find me in the human realm?!

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meowsgirldrawing · 1 month

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Many Kisses~ (PolyAU! Obey me!)

Note: I got no excuse for the last one, the demons just love their human too much <3 (And MC is just loving life)

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rashomonss · 11 months

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The brothers and the Human Realm

a/n: so ik ‘jealous much’ won the poll but it’s still not done yet so have this instead!

context: a part of me still finds lessons 40-43 funny because the brothers have never really been to the human world that much, and they don’t really know how certain things work. Take the slow cooker and ice cream truck for example. So these are little headcanons I have for when all of y’all are together in the beginning of their stay in the human realm.

enjoy <3 , also these are in no specific order

you all are hopeless…

Solomon and MC would so fuck with the brothers while being in the human realm.

For example they’d take Lucifer to the shadiest mexican restaurant possible then after they finished eating they would tell the waiters it was Lucifer’s birthday and watch the Avatar of Pride sit there with a big ass sombrero on his head as they sang happy birthday to him.

MC later took a picture and sent it to Diavolo who then made it his lock screen.

Satan and Belphie tried to electrocute Lucifer by throwing a toaster in the bathroom while he was in the middle of a shower. This happened after the fact you told them not to put water on the toaster because it could electrocute someone.

Beel ate an entire bottle of ibuprofen liquid gels because he thought they were hard gummies.

Beel also ate the food and cake shaped wax candle melts you had bought for Asmo as a gift

Beel lastly ate your whole brand new container of melatonin and it knocked him out for 15 hours straight. Needless to say Lucifer was very concerned for his wellbeing, and Belphie soon questioned if you had anymore.

Belphie and his brothers were never taught stranger danger, because who in their right mind would be a danger to them in the Devildom?

So after you had explained to him what an ice cream truck was he vowed to go to one with you.

However when a creepy old man in a white van offers him candy he believes it to be the same as the ice cream truck so he gets in the van.

When the brothers relay this information to you, you begin to lose your shit explaining how that was not in fact an ice cream truck he got into but instead a kidnapper van.

The brothers don’t know how to eat certain human world foods.

Such as a banana, watermelon, mango, pineapple, kiwi, avocado, cherry, dragon fruit, papaya, onion, etc.

So when you first buy one from the grocery store and leave it out before cutting it they automatically think it’s some weird shaped human food and bite into it eating the skin or seeds and all.

After they tell you about the weird but delicious taste of it you ask if they cut it or spit out the seeds before eating it, and when they reply with a puzzled look and a no your heart drops.

Thank god they’re demons. You then proceed to buy the same thing again this time cutting it up in front of them so they know what parts to eat of certain things.

Expanding on the cherry part, did y’all’s parents ever tell you not to swallow watermelon or cherry seeds because if you did a cherry tree or whole watermelon would then grow in your stomach??

I know mine and some of my friends parents would tell us that when I was younger to make sure we didn’t swallow any seeds.

If they didn’t then oh well, anyway…

Continuing with Solomon being an ass, he would so tell something like that to the brothers. If he happened to see Beel swallow a cherry whole he would then proceeded to tell Lucifer not to let him do that.

And when the oldest asks why Solomon would then go onto explain that if he swallows cherry pit then a cherry tree will then grow inside his stomach.

Of course this freaked out Lucifer so for the next hour he tried getting Beel to spit out all the cherries he ate.

You would have to organize their fridge and pantry in the new house because they don’t know which human world foods need to be refrigerated or not.

After you arrive at the house you spent a good three hours explaining to them not everything can go in the pantry because some of it will spoil after you open it.

Then you proceed to gag when you pulled out an expired chunky milk container from the pantry.

They find the concept of drive thru or fast food places astonishing. The fact that you can just order wait in a line for a few minutes in your car then get your food is crazy. They do however all panic though when you get to the front and they don’t know what to order off the menu.

Car washes are also something they found themselves favoring. You would turn up the music as you slowly pulled in and joked by telling the brothers you were going on a ride of sorts.

Which in turn shocked you when they did believed you as the car wash stared. Each of them were staring out the windows with starry eyes as different colors of soap were thrown on your car.

You laughed to yourself as they all admired the way the soap blended together, Asmo and Mammon found themselves taking pictures of the whole thing. While Belphie was telling Beel how this looked like a starry sky.

And Levi went on to tell Satan how this reminded him of an anime scene. Lucifer also found himself sitting quietly in the passenger seat enjoying it too. (Lucifer is a certified passenger princess, fight me on that)

Each brother questioned you on how this was possible and you replied with smile. After the car wash was over and you drove through the dryers they all asked if you could do that again, to which you replied smiling “maybe some other time”.

Lucifer watered the fake succulents and plants you put around the house for two weeks straight until you said something.

They love watching true crime documentary’s to the point you’d have to physically pull them away from the tv.

It happened one afternoon while a few of them were relaxing in the living room and you were looking for a channel to watch.

Deciding there was nothing interesting on you put on an old true crime documentary and began watching it. As the brothers heard the story of the crime from the tv they each became immersed in it.

Telling you things such as “how could humans do that to each other?” or “wow humans are more brutal than we thought” or even adding in their own comments on how they could have made the crime worse.

It became a guessing game between all of them to figure out who killed who during each episode you watched.

Much to everyone dismayed Satan was the one who won every time.

Meanwhile while they were all immersed in the tv you noticed Lucifer standing behind you, arms crossed also watching tv. You told him to sit down and watch with all of you but he denied, claiming he wasn’t really interested in stuff like this anyway.

Yet he never moved from that same spot each episode.

Each of the brothers have made something explode in the microwave.

Lucifer stained it red when he went to reheat pasta, but he put it in for to long and it exploded. Mammon overfilled his ramen thus causing it to leak then explode.

Satan and Levi also happened to be reheating takeout at the same time, but both of the containers were styrofoam and exploded. Levi got annoyed and Satan threw the microwave at Lucifer.

Asmo put some skincare product in there because he found something online about a certain hack, and it exploded causing the microwave to smell like burnt strawberries.

Beel put too much food in the microwave causing it to all melt together then explode.

Belphie put a coffee in there to reheat and it exploded, but he was too lazy to clean it up so he just left it. Lucifer was then next to use the microwave and got coffee all over him.

You made all seven of them watch the entire twilight series as a joke but ironically they all actually enjoyed it.

Satan even went out and bought the books, and finished all of them in about 2 hours

Bonus

Solomon distracted Diavolo for 3 hours straight by making him watch 5 minute craft videos.

Diavolo then proceeded to break things to try these said crafts which caused Barbatos to have a meltdown.

Barbatos destroyed an entire sidewalk because he saw two rats run across it into the sewer.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #omswd headcanons #demon brothers #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me solomon #obey me mc #obey me headcanons #obey me human realm

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diamonds-place · 10 days

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Mc: "So today is 4/20, right?"

Luci: "Yes? What about the date?"

Mc: "I feel like I need to say this. Humans refer to the plant as 'The Devil's Lettuce,' is that true?"

Mammon: (spits out water) "WHO TOLD YOU?"

Luci: . . .

Mc: . . .

Luci: "Care to explain?"

Mammon: . . .

Luci: "3. . ."

Mammon: "Fine! . . . it was just a little venture I did in the human world a while ago. I just sold them some dope."

Luci: "And now there's a day for the plant."

Mammon: "What can I say, I'm a great businessman."

Luci: (sigh) "Mammon. . ."

#humans discovered the plant thanks to a certain greedy demon #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #hope yall have a good day #>:3

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notcreative360 · 2 months

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Do y'all remember how there was this trend where girls would mess with their bf's or smth by putting liquid latex or smth on their faces, and just say it's their monthly shed to mess, and get their reaction? Imagine MC being a menace they do the same thing with the demon brothers and even has Solomon backing them up like:

MC: Oh, it looks like my monthly shed has come.

Mammon: Your monthly wha!?

Levi: Y-you mean like a snake..?

Solomon: Yeah, it's something humans get, we monthly shed.

Lucifer: I have never heard of that before...

Satan: I've never read that before..

#I can sort of imagine that Satan has read how lizards eat their own shed for nutrients #and him asking if humans do the same when MC says that humans shed #Obey Me Lucifer #Obey Me Mammon #Obey Me Levi #Obey Me Leviathan #Obey Me Satan #Obey Me Asmo #Obey Me Asmodeus #Obey Me Beel #Obey Me Beelzebub #Obey Me Belphie #Obey Me Belphie for #Obey Me MC #Obey Me Solomon #MC being a menace

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the-abyss-of-fandoms · 1 year

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Me calling Solomon to take me back home to my boyfriends who all REMEMBER and LOVE ME and my husband Diavolo:

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luxthestrange · 1 year

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Incorrect quotes#795 The "Thief"

Mc Gets a Puppy(Sibling for Cerbie)

Brother's: It's not even that cute

Mc: Are you jealous?

Brother's: Jealous? Ha!

-later-

Brother's: Listen to us, attention thief-

The Puppy*Looking at seven sins with happy huffs and tail waggin'*

Cerb*Behind the Seven Brothers*GGGRRRRRR

#obey me #obey me!#obey me mc #obey me gn!mc #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!mc #obey me x gn!reader #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #satan x reader #asmodeus x reader #beelzebub x reader #belphegor x reader #obey me cerberus #cebby likes tiny human pup-#obey me incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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lyrichi · 1 month

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mc: you remind me of that one mean girls song...

mammon, side eyeing mc: ......which one..?

mc: oh shit what's the name of it.. Uh... da-da-da-da-da -- stupid with- Stupid with love!

mammon, offended: I- no- how dare you compare me with Cady-

mc: it's cause your stupid and in love

mammon: what??

mc, dramatically: and I'm Aaron, the camera is revolving around me

mc, being more dramatic: and then I dip you and kiss you like in that other song from the new movie

#smart with math but stupid with love #da da da #hc time #i feel like mammon is a human calculator #still has shit ass grades in everything #but you ask him a math problem verbally and like #he just KNOWS #yk?#yeah #obey me crack #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me #obey me mc #obey me mammon #this one's kinda bad ngl :((

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akuzonprime · 2 months

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[11:19 PM] Mammon and Beel pose as your bodyguards when you go out to clubbing in the human world, glaring at all the wandering gazes on you.

#another character would def be there to steal your attention from the other humans #i just cant bother to think which hahaha #been a while since i've written group prompt wahhahaha #obey me #obey me blurbs #obey me imagines #obey me! shall we date?#obey me timestamps #obey me scenarios #obey me fluff #obey me beelzebub #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub x mc #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me mammon x reader

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leifkncries · 2 years

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I HAVE CLASS TMR SO I WANTED TO GIVE YOU GUYS THIS AU PROMPT IN CASE I DIE AND NEVER COME BACK

(angst ; fluff?)

(tw: cry)

Mammon's Human AU

Mammon protected Belphegor from Lucifer during the fight about the human world exchange stuff. My initial thought was 'Mammon asked Lucifer to exchange the punishment from Belphie to him'... but idk how that'll work.

Mammon's new punishment (because belphie is a human hater but mammon isn't) was going to the human realm. He was drained of power, so they thought he was now a human cause that's what normally happens with normal demons, but oops! Mammon was not a normal demon. His powers were drained but he's still immortal.

OH MY GOD THIS AU MAKES NO SENSE

Mammon obviously changed his name. But the thing is, The Devildom decided on something. "yass queen let's make him like 20 and in a random apartment with no memories slay" like 🧍

So basically.. they're dumb.

Anyway, mammon is the human exchange student so 💆‍♀️

btw the family holds a grudge against lucifer because he LET HIS OWN BROTHER GO

like come on man they already lost lilith anyway

#angst #fluff #angst to fluff #obey me #om angst #om fluff #obey me angst #obey me mammon #obey me mammon angst #obey me human mammon #human mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer angst #all of the characters angst #rip

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leifcknsobs · 2 years

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HUMAN MAMMON AU except it's incorrect quotes PART 2

Marco: Where we goin?

Belphegor: I'm taking you home.

Marco: This ain't the way to me fuckin house, Belphegor.

Belphegor: Oh, no.

Marco: Wha?

Belphegor: We're going to our home. My home.

context: belphegor visits marco. then they hung out till dawn. then belphegor proposes that he'll drive em home. then after a while, this conversation happens.

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kshvr · 2 years

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I really like how obey me made their mc. They're not your typical otome mc that is automatically a girl. They made their mc gender neutral so everyone could be them. Also, i like mc's personality, they're not the basic type of otome mc that is always naive, innocent and fragile. Obey me mc is literally dealing with demons, angels and immortal creatures yet they can still handle themselves, belphie literally killed them but they came back to life like nothing happened, they got chased by cerberus but still managed to survive, they got into a lot of trouble and yet they're still alive. Basically, obey me mc is an immortal girlboss/manboss no wonder the obey me brothers, angels and immortal creatures there are so down bad for them.

#stan mc sheep!#stan obey me mc #i believe in obey me mc supremacy #best otome mc #what if obey me mc is actually an immortal human?#obey me mc #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me x reader #obey me shitpost #obey me random

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daytaker · 4 months

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Hello! I’ve viewed your blog a few times and i really really like the way that you write, so when I learned that asks were i couldn’t help but make a request. Can we get some headcaons of the brothers meeting MC’s family for the first time and already Mama MC doesn’t like any of them because “they took away her baby.” Sorry if this is a little cringe.

But of course!

(Part 2: The Dateables + Luke)

"Mom, Dad, meet seven of my boyfriends."

...is what you want to say, but you know better than to panic your parents and fluster your totally platonic demon friends at a time like this.

And what a time it is. Here you are, surrounded by your parents, an aunt, your grandpa, and your sister, trying to calm your mother down from yet another diatribe about how you can't just get up and leave for a year---I mean, God, the police were looking for you! The police! You realize we thought they'd find your body in the woods somewhere? How could you do this to us?!---when suddenly:

Knock, knock. Knock knock knock knock knock knock. Thud. Thud. Thud.

"MC! Hey MC!"

"Mammon, if they hear you, you'll ruin the surprise!"

You and your relatives stare at the door. Then they all look at you. You give an awkward smile.

"Just give me a minute... I think those are some friends of mine..."

You really wish you lived somewhere besides a one bedroom apartment, but honestly, impossible in this economy. So you don't have anywhere remotely private to tell the brothers to scatter until the dust clears. In fact, the instant you open the door, Asmodeus flings his arms around you and kisses you on the cheek---in full view of your family, mind you!---and Beel shoves a box of half-eaten chocolates into your hand. Then seven voices are all clamoring for your attention at once on one end, and another five behind you. There are thirteen individuals in this tiny apartment, you realize, and you don't even have enough seats for your family to all sit. Your sister's seated on the floor.

"Heyyyyy guys, now's....not a great time...." A smile is plastered to your face as you tip your head in the direction of your extremely concerned parents. "And...seriously? It hasn't been two weeks yet."

Mammon looks confused, then indignant. "What? ...Hey, what the hell? You're already makin' new friends?! We really that replaceable?!"

Lucifer, who stands in the back holding a balloon bouquet with a jarringly serious expression on his face, speaks up. "I believe those are MC's relatives, Mammon. It seems we came at an inopportune time after all."

"Relatives?!" Asmo and Mammon hurry on over to give them all a good look-over, the others curiously observing.

"You're MC's mom, aren't you! Oh, MC! I see where you get your cheekbones!" Asmo gushes as your mother stares at him like he's from another planet. Which he sort of is, in a sense.

"MC? Who are these people?" your grandpa asks with bewilderment and not a small amount of concern.

"They're, um..."

"They're hot." Your sister waves her fingers at the group, and you wish you had perma-died in that attic.

You need to explain yourself quickly. On the spot. You'd already told your family you'd had a bit of a quarter-life crisis and gone backpacking across the country for the year, working through the mental collapse that living in the 21st century inevitably caused, so you ride off of that. These are a ragtag bunch you met on the road, you explain. You'd spent the better part of last year roughing it from the hills of Kentucky to the forests of Washington with these guys, and you'd become incredibly close as a result. You'd lived together, laughed together, loved together, and some of them even tried to kill you on a few occasions.

("'Tried'?" mutters Satan, and Belphie gives him a death glare.)

Under the leadership of the charismatic eldest brother, Lucifer, you'd become so close that it felt as if your very souls were somehow tethered---

"I'm sorry, 'Lucifer'?" Your mom has had just about enough of this. She approaches you with a look of heartbreaking concern in her eyes and cups your face. "....Baby, did you join a cult?"

"Who does she think she is, callin' 'em that?" seethes Mammon under his breath.

"Mammon, she's my MOM."

"Alright, I think I've seen enough." Dad gets up and eyes the boys sternly. "I dunno what you've been doing with my child, but it's gonna stop, you understand? I've got a homicide detective on speed dial because of you clowns."

"Is this where they get their assertiveness from?" speculated Levi to Beel, who simply shrugged.

"Listen, I think you're all just...misunderstanding each other!" Son of Gardonus, where are you even supposed to start? You grab the nearest demon---

(Individual brothers are below the cut!)

Lucifer

"This is Lucifer."

He gives you a look that says 'you really are as stupid as I've sometimes feared'. Why didn't you come up with a fake name?

"That was a joke."

Good, things are still salvageable.

"Because following his instructions is a lot like being in Hell."

He hates you.

"If that's the devil, then call me a sinner," your aunt says, sipping her third glass of wine.

"His real name is Boris."

He hates you so much.

"Pretty well-dressed for a man who spent a year on the road," observes your Mom with undisguised distrust. "Let me guess: while you were out gathering food and panhandling to survive, he stayed indoors doing whatever the hell he felt like doing, and at the end of the day, you'd take everything you'd earned and hand it over to him, and he'd toss you some pittance in return."

"How does she know that?!" Mammon gasps.

You try explaining to your mom that there was no cult, but she hushes you remorselessly.

You beg Lucifer with your eyes not to kill your entire family please. It seems to work.

Mammon

"Mammon, these are my parents. Mom, Dad, this is Mammon. Mammon, say hello."

"Hello. Agh! Dammit! You're really gonna use that now?!"

Oops. Pact magic. It can be a little unpredictable at times. You ruffle his hair apologetically.

The two of you were pretty much inseparable over the last year, you explain. "Best buds, pretty much." He was the first of the group you got close with. Mammon seems extremely proud of this.

"Please tell me 'best bud' isn't a euphemism, MC." Your dad gives you a pleading look. "I don't know how many more surprises I can take today." You two seem far too affectionate and touchy-feely for his liking.

Your sister grins at him from her seat on the floor, which seems to embarrass and confuse him tremendously. He's refusing to look at her. Poor guy. The two of you do look a lot alike...

Levi

"This is Levi."

"Ah, that almost sounds like a normal name. Why Leh-vee, though? Why don't you pronounce it LEE-vie?

"It's short for Leviathan," he says before you can stop him.

Your sister starts cackling and Levi is very embarrassed and indignant but mostly confused.

"Is this like a cult thing?" your aunt asks. "Naming everyone after biblical demons?" She nods and raises her eyebrows, impressed, and lifts her glass in Lucifer's direction.

"And you've been out roughing it in the great outdoors?" your grandpa asks.

"Errrr..."

"Yes, he has."

"Hmm...." Grandpa stares at Levi without a word, and your sister cackles again, and Levi looks like he'll either start bawling or go full demon and kill everybody in a sort of panicked rage. You return him to his brothers.

Satan

"This is---"

"I'm Derek. Nice to meet you."

You side-eye Satan. Apparently he was not taking any risks of you straight up calling him 'Satan' in front of everyone.

Your sister and aunt both look disappointed by this name, which seems to please Satan a whole lot.

"So," your mom says, thinking this little introduction has gotten off to way too friendly a start, "you're another one of MC's... 'friends', are you?"

"Yep," you say, refusing to acknowledge that there was any innuendo to read into.

"How the hell did you get wrapped up in a cult, Derek?" your aunt asks incredulously. "You look like you came straight from a prep school... Or the Ivies, or something. Kid, let me tell you what." She points a finger at Satan without giving him an opportunity to respond. "Let me tell you, you're gonna kick yourself when you're old and ugly and you realize you wasted your time in a cult looking like you were headed to a game of polo."

"You should've given yourself a cool name like those other guys," your sister throws in.

"Guys, please."

"What? At least the other guys had character. Lucifer, the sexy vampire prince, or something. Mammon, the... Is he a himbo or a bad boy?" ("A himbo," you confirm.) "Mammon, the hellish himbo! Leviathan, a literal fish out of water! But him? This guy's just Derek from IT." Your sister blows a raspberry and gives a thumb down. "Next."

Behind you, you hear Lucifer mutter, "Mammon. Levi. Hold Satan back."

Asmo

"This is Asmo. Please don't tear him a new one, he's---"

Your sister shakes her head. "I would NEVER. This guy looks like so much fun. Like, I'm getting shopping all day, clubbing all night vibes, am I right?"

Asmo winks at your sister, and she blushes. She blushes. You're in awe.

"Hellooooo~! I'm Asmodeus, and it's wonderful to meet you all!"

"You're the one that kissed my grandchild," Grandpa recalls, raising an accusatory finger at him.

"But MC loves when I give them kisses! Surely you all understand, right?"

....

"Right..."

....

Motherfucker, Asmo just charmed your family.

Beel

"This is Beel. Beel, this is...everyone."

"Hi. Good to meet you." Beel is very polite, if a bit uncomfortable.

"Well aren't you a drink of water and a half." You hate your aunt so much sometimes.

Beel frowns. "I'd rather have something a little more filling than water."

You see a look in your aunt's eyes and you jump before she has the chance to strike.

"If you say you're on the menu, Aunt Gina, I swear--"

"What's 'Beel' short for?" your mom asks sternly.

"Beelzebub," Beel answers with an adorable but also infuriating level of innocence.

Your sister is cackling again.

Belphie

Hey, where'd Belphie go?

You look around, confused.

Oh. He wandered to your room while everyone was distracted.

He's sleeping on your bed, hugging your pillow. And drooling on it.

Your relatives stand behind you, observing the scene somberly.

"What's he on?" asks your sister in a whisper. "Like... he's definitely on something, right?"

"Freeloader. That goes for the whole lot of 'em. At least this one is honest about it. Just walks in and treats the place like it's his." Your dad is very annoyed.

"He's got narcolepsy," you insist. You don't know enough about narcolepsy to be sure if that seems like a reasonable excuse, but you're counting on your family not knowing either.

"How the hell did you all get around with a narcoleptic?" your aunt asks, elbowing Lucifer in the ribs. "Hah! Oh, MC, sweetie, I need a refill."

When you manage to get the brothers out of your apartment, you turn around and face your family. They're staring at you.

Your sister breaks the silence. "So like... how many of them have you--?"

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nocreativityfornames · 1 year

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Mammon: *panting* Man, why are ya always goin' so easy on MC? It ain't fair! Like, they were in it too! And they were the one to plan the whole prank! So why are they gettin' some lame ass punishment while we gotta do all the hard work?!

Levi: It's called favoritism, Mammon. Lucifer clearly has a soft spot for MC.

Mammon: WHAT?! Is that true?!

Lucifer: No, it is NOT. The punishments I give MC are completely fair and carefully thought through. There's no such thing as favoritism involved, and I have no idea what you're talking about.

Levi: Lucifer, you literally made MC clean your desk while we had to run 666 laps around the house.

Lucifer: ... Alright, maybe I have a favorite, so what?

#the old demon man loves his human too much #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me crack #omswd #silliness overload ⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+#☙ no creativity for names ✾

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caineinthecorner · 6 months

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Hi. I binged like 80 chats in a row and I have opinions(tm) about physical strength and general power stuff of the brothers. Mostly just strength related things, but I tried to cover most of their battle stuff.

Yes I know, yes I know, "they're ranked as siblings by power blabla", but that's LAME. So here are my personal takes mostly for fun. Canon is dead and I ate it.

Also I finished the dividers and general aesthetics of this blog woo

★ Lucifer.

Generally the strongest, period, can and WILL kill almost anyone without much issue or even second thought

Physical strength, however? He’s not the best, as he doesn’t rely on it at all for battle / conflict

He didn't need it in heaven, after all

(Beel was his brawns and he was already a powerful angel so it never was a requirement)

I don't see him actively working out (anymore, at least), so most of his strength is merely his baseline

His main tactic conflict wise is intimidation.

Cough giving MC death threats cough

Very prideful of himself in battle, obviously

Rarely would ever use any sort of dirty tricks

Would probably prefer to go down the "honorable way"

Target his brothers though and he WILL play every trick in the book with little regard to his pride or his own life

This fuck looks like he knows swordsmanship and is probably the only of the brothers who does so

(except maybe Satan who is learning just to copy / be better than him)

Either that or he knows fancy sword dances for angel rituals he cannot partake in anymore (and doesn't do them anymore)

Diavolo has photos of him doing said dances but his lips are triple sealed since it is a heavily touchy subject

★ Mammon.

Canonically this man is physically weak (or at least has a weak complexion / scrawny arms)

Probably the most disappointing in terms of strength because he is literally the second born

His saving grace is his unholy speed and dirty tricks, using it to cover his weaknesses / lack of physical strength.

A LOT of dirty tricks and bs magic stuff. So so many. Never ends

He’s the living embodiment of the “random bullshit go!!!” meme

You know Looney tunes? Yeah this man has the Bugs bunny's levels of bullshit

But he has the best stamina out of his brothers (so he can run away from his debts)

Doesn't train because he's already perfect as it is (<- that's his ego talking he can barely pick up the weights at Beel's gym)

Honor is for the dead type of person. Nothing is out of the table in battle

(^ that makes him terrifying to fight against btw)

He either tries to intimidate (imitating Lucifer) or sweet-talk his way out of conflict

It usually just pisses off his adversary more which actually leads to the fights starting, but hey, he tried 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

★ Leviathan.

Physical strength is shit.

he will get his shit kicked if he tries to brawl with almost anyone

Except maybe the lowest hanging fruit (humans)

Magical or general strength is decent, but he's definitely not the greatest in battle out of the brothers

^ he's kinda insecure about this and he wishes he were stronger (he sulks about it)

Wishes that actual irl battles were like Fire Emblem or strategy games bcs he's actually good in those

Update: I didn't make it clear (mb lol) but I see him as the best strategist of the brothers by far, he just isn't good at front-line action

^ Being away from the front lines keeps the pressure away from him for the most part, and it avoids him getting riled up and acting rash

He once tried to workout with Beel but quickly got overwhelmed because Beel shoved 200kg weights onto him thinking it was an reasonable starting point

So he kinda has trauma(tm) about it

Despite his garbage physical prowess, he WILL start fights and get riled up easily

He goes onto his demon form immediately when he wants to fight

^ bcs his strength isn't great, and he needs any boost he can get

Plus, awful anger management

My man will get onto a fist fight with the demon equivalent of a redditor over anime waifus and he will lose

★ Satan.

As the literal embodiment of Wrath, he does pack quite a punch and will maul you to death with only his fists. No problems at all

But that's merely his baseline strength (which is a lot) since he doesn’t really train physically

Probably focuses on other areas (read: intelligence) instead of physical strength.

Which is ironic because he could kick Lucifer's ass in a fist fight if he actually trained more

But oh well. Books do be booking

Surprisingly strategic while in fights, although not above Going Apeshit

Funnily enough the least likely of the brothers to enter a fight

Has read The Art Of War and will quote it just to be a smartass

★ Asmodeus.

Physically? Weak.

Probably the weakest of the brothers, having more or less the strength of a human (and on the weaker side of that).

He doesn’t train whatsoever; Likes his slender figure and muscles “ruin” that.

However, he makes up for it on the "trickster" scale.

As the Avatar of Lust, he will probably go the charm route instead of wanting to directly fight his enemies, or he make someone else do the dirty work for him.

Think of Mammon but make it a bit less scummy, tricks wise.

His go-to is sweet talk.

Something something the Avatar of Lust being physically weak since sex is considered an act of vulnerability and therefore the lowering of one’s guard something something

Something something the poetic narrative of the Avatar of Lust having only power through Communication something something

★ Beelzebub.

Contrary to Asmo; he does lift for days and can pack quite the punch, being one of the stronger brothers physically despite being one of the youngest.

I don't see him caring much for magic or other types of strength, he is content in packing the punch and has the capabilities to back him up.

Fight wise he will probably punch the problems away

Maybe use one or two tricks he’s learned

Mostly relies on his intuition and gut and it surprisingly works out

Nothing fancy; Dictionary definition of all muscle no brain battle wise

Literally one of the scariest brothers to ever fight he will actually beat you to a bloody pulp

And make a smoothie out of it

★ Belphegor.

This fucker doesn't lift at all you can't tell me shit

At MOST he'll accompany Beel to the gym and would sleep at the benches

The strength he has is the strength he was born with

Which isn't a lot, but still above human average by quite a lot

More or less demon standard of strength. Maybe a slightly below it

But he's still above most demons by a mile in other regards, mostly magic prowess

He's stronger than Levi because I think it would be hilarious that the dude who sleeps all day is stronger than him

(or you can make him really physically strong just because it'd be funny to see the sleepy dude kick ass)

(either way is funny as shit go ham)

★ Physical strength chart

Behemoth type strength :

Beel (only barely)

Lucifer

Satan

High / Low above human average :

Mammon

Belphie (low diff w/ mammon)

Levi

Asmo

★General strength chart

Can kill hundreds no effort :

Lucifer

Satan (If apeshit)

Are not as strong but still terrifying :

Mammon

Beel

Belphie

Levi, Asmo (Tie)

#obey me #obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #caineshcs #gentle reminder that i am noy saying that they're weak #all the demon brothers are stupid strong and the best of the best for a reson #i am saying that some are *physically* weak #but even then they're almost all HIGH above the human average #i can't believe i have to make this clear but oh well

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