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yandere-sins · 4 months

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So... Honkai Star Rail... have you met Dr. Ratio yet? I have literally seen him twice so far and he has my whole being in a vice grip. Man has either put me in direct danger or towered ominously over me and acted completely dismissive the entire time. I am not okay.

I have met him! (However brief that was because I'm not sure if there's more of him when you defeat the boss (and I struggle with the bosses because I don't build support characters, yes >-<)) I saw him and I knew this one is also going into my pathetic yandere shoebox with Argenti, and I wish I could see more of him because I so wanna get into his personality and yandere-fy him lol

All I can say is... since Argenti I am really into pathetic yans and Ratio just fits sooo good in that category.

Don't get me wrong, he probably started out pretty scary! He has that manipulative, confident, cocky attitude that will make everyone turn on you for being rude and conceited when you try to go against what he's preaching. He'll absolutely try to separate you from you friends and coworkers until he's that saint that still allows you to tag along with him. No one will really mind if one day he just doesn't bring you back to work. Keeps you snug and locked up and terrified in his private hideouts, enjoying that he gets to lord over you. He'll be so enarmored with the thought you now need him, you can't say anything against him, Ratio is the one you have to submit to if you want to survive in the paradise he's creating for himself.

The towering over you probably happens a lot (at night as he watches you sleep and trying to understand you) because he wants so desperately to be acknowledged by you, not even caring if it means he has to be creepy or a stalker watching the camera feed of your room. And when you don't do what he wants you to, he tries, he really tries to ignore you, lock you up and leave the whole planet if he must, but his thoughts are always circling back to you, his heart always wondering what you're doing and if you are lonely and thinking of him.

But the thing is, the situation is scary and all, but he's not exactly an example punisher from the beginning.

So yeah, I see him to a 180 after he has aquired a darling, no more pondering about science or math (I don't even know yet what exactly he is into even) but about how to make his darling like him because they really don't. Darling is just sitting their reading their book, throwing in a "mhm" - "yeah" - "sure" while he's talking, and Ratio is getting really desperate over the lack of acknowledgement and the kind of connection he wants with his darling. It's his own fault, considering he completely ignored all the reasoning and pleading you did in the beginning. And when there weren't as many awful punishments, you just grew numb to the fear of his presence.

I can just see him throw a damn fit about his darling ignoring him. Either in their presence or out of their sight, but this man hates hates hates not being in the center of his darling's attention when he demands it and he's being really pathetic about it.

The problem is just that he really expects too much from his darling. He'll be good and feed them and give them books (reluctantly even one that the darling wants and not only the other five he wants them to read so they can talk about his interests) and expect praises and teary eyes and so many thanks that honestly, he'll just be so heartbroken when the darling is "okay, thanks" and goes back to not acknowledging him or his good deeds.

And yes, he has his scary moments where he takes his darlings out on "dates" into situation that frankly would not end well for them without his presence. But he does not understand why they are angry and crying from stress and fear after he took them out and even defended them from dangers.

Ratio has times where he punishes his darling or forces them to do something they don't want to do mercilessly. Where he uses them as needed for experiments or puts them in dangerous situations, knowing it's wrong, but using these moments to put him into a better light with his darling. He might be cunning, but once he realises that really, what is the darling supposed to do except shutting down when they meet deaf ears with every other reaction? Ratio begins to panic and that makes him into such a sweet, pathetic yandere, desperate for his darling.

Anyhow, I'm sure he can be scary temperamental, but I also like to think he's just not entirely made for having the upper hand in a relationship. (Sorry, I had these thoughts for such a long time, hope it was okay to jump on yours! I know they are a little different but your thoughts about him are super valid as well ♥)

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aspoonofsugar · 1 year

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Hey Spoon, as someone with highly detailed, well-thought-out metas about RWBY, I would like to ask for your thoughts about two recent trends I have seen about Volume 9. Specifically, about Ruby and her breakdown.

First, there seems to be discussion about Ruby being a huntress as a bad thing? That the hunter system is toxic because it put Ruby in this situation in the first place, with a burden and stress on her shoulders? I don't agree, especially when WBY all triumphantly stated they were Huntress' to their past selves.

Second of all, people seem to have it out for the pep talks that Ruby has been given over the series? That the support and encouragement that Ruby has received over the series has done nothing but make her want to hide her trauma and bottle up her emotions, because people gave her pep talks, instead of directly saying 'Yeah its fine to feel bad'? Like, some of the comments they make is intriguing. Such as Ozpin's statement to Ruby - and from her to Jaune - about how a leader must always be their best self and put their teammates first basically, leading to them eventually breaking down as they are...

But its a bit unfair to say that every attempt to support and encourage Ruby over the show up until this point was worthless and meaningless, isn't it?

Note: I wrote half of this answer before episode 8. I honestly think this still all applies, so I have not changed it. Still, consider I am not discussing that much what happens there. That will have its own meta.

Hi!

Personally, I agree with your thoughts. I understand these takes and tbh I think several people are expressing them in different ways, framings and degrees.

That said, in this answer I am gonna consider them in their most extreme and simplistic form :)

Before I address them, though, here comes a short introduction on character arcs. Skip it if you already know these ideas.

CHARACTER ARCS AND THEME

There are different ways to discuss characters and their arcs. Here I am looking at them specifically from a narrative lens by using theme to classify and analyze them.

Many of these ideas come from @septembercfawkes great posts. Here they are if you wanna read more on the topic:

In short, there are 2 types of character arcs:

The character makes a 180 degree change when it comes to the theme > change arc

The character doesn't change idea about the theme > steadfast arc

If the theme the character believes in by the end of the story is the narrative truth, then the arc is positive, while if it isn't then it's negative.

Some examples:

Ilia starts the story by believing violence is the only way for Faunus to gain freedom, but ends her personal arc by learning this isn't true. "Hate is not the answer". > This is the theme the story supports hence Ilia went through a positive change arc.

Adam starts the story by believing the violence done to him justifies his own violence on others. Blake keeps telling him this is wrong and gives him the chance to change. He refuses and keeps believing the false thematic statement. This is why he is defeated by Blake and Yang, who know trauma and violence do not define who you are (the true thematic statement). > Adam is a steadfast negative character.

Ironwood starts the Atlas Arc by wanting to trust (true thematic statement), but he ends it by giving in to control (false thematic statement). Similarly, he has a good heart and believes in humans, but by the end he refuses his own humanity. > He goes through a negative change arc

Pyrrha starts the story by believing destiny is one's final goal. She thinks hers is to become a hero. She ends her personal arc by dying a hero and choosing her own destiny. > The thematic statement she believes in is the one the story supports hence Pyrrha is a positive steadfast character.

This is the short version >

If you believe something false in the beginning, you have a positive arc only if you change.

If you believe something true in the beginning, you have a positive arc if you hold on to that truth.

This means the narrative is gonna challenge the change characters and steadfast characters in opposite ways:

If you need to change, the story is gonna test you to see if you can change and will punish you, if you don't

If you need to be steadfast, the story is gonna test you to see if you can keep believing into something even when everything goes wrong

Now, guess which kind of character Ruby is?

RUBY IS A STEADFAST CHARACTER

Ruby believes the true thematic statement since the beginning:

"The world can be dark, but there is beauty in it and people should fight to protect it and make it better"

I don't think there is any doubt about this being true in the show. After all, the other MCs grow positively by starting to embrace this viewpoint.

What about Ruby, then?

She is steadfast, so for her the challenge is to keep believing in it even when everything goes wrong. Like at Beacon. Like in Atlas.

But wait! Ruby's viewpoint is flawed and she is breaking because of her unhealthy coping mechanism!

Yes, but this doesn't mean she isn't steadfast. Steadfast characters actually do grow a lot. Sometimes even moreso than change arc characters.

Do you remember Simba from the Liong King? Well, he is a steadfast character.

The Lion King's main theme is the Circle of Life > everyone has a role to play in this cycle

Simba believes this in the beginning and can't wait to be king!

Simba believes Mufasa is dead because of him, so he runs away and gives up the theme. He starts living with Timon and Pumba, 2 outcasts and he even eats insects (aka goes against nature) > he stops believing in the Circle of Life

Nala, Rafiki and Mufasa's ghost remind Simba of his role, so Simba starts believing in the true theme again

Simba defeats Scar and becomes King taking his place in the Circle of Life

As you can see, Simba grows a lot, but he is still steadfast because he knows the true theme since the beginning. It is just that he loses sight of it and needs to re-learn it.

This isn't all, though. What Simba does is more than just remember the theme. By the end he acquires a stronger understanding of it. This is because of 2 reasons:

He adheres to it despite all the obstacles, which makes the theme stronger and deeper.

He has a change arc when it comes to a secondary theme > responsibility.

Simba is initially irresponsible, but by the end he becomes responsible. This secondary theme feeds the main one > Simba's role in the Circle of Life is to be King, but this doesn't mean he will be able to do whatever he wants. Quite the opposite, being King means you have responsibilities. Simba learns this and so he gets to understand the Circle and his role in it better.

Well, something similar is going to happen with our Little Red Riding Hood.

BEING A HUNTRESS

Ruby used to be the embodyment of a Huntress:

Yang: I'm not like Ruby, she's always wanted to be a Huntress. It's like she said, ever since she was a kid, she'd dreamt about being the heroes in the books. Helping people and saving the day, and never asking for anything else in return.

Still, she has right now forgotten what being a Huntress means:

Ruby: Fight… monsters, I guess? I’m sorry, I don’t understand why this matters.

Being a Huntress means to help others, but Ruby answers Herb confusely and mentions "killing monsters" instead. Now, it is not that Ruby doesn't know what being a true Huntress means, but rather it is she has forgotten it.

Why is that so?

It is because the Shadows have slowly been eating at her to the point she can't ignore them anymore. All the stress, the horrors and the grief Ruby has been repressing have engulfed her. She literally can't see anything else anymore. She is so focused on Salem, on how monstruous and scary she is, she can't really see the witch is just a person. Not only that, she is forgetting that the point isn't to destroy Salem, but rather to protect lives:

Blake: Huntresses are heroes. We protect those who can’t protect themselves.

If she stays in the shadows she is gonna turn like Ozpin, like Ironwood and like Salem herself (symbolically). Still, how can she come out?

I think that when it comes to Ruby, she has to learn a secondary theme:

Maria: Interesting… Perhaps there was something that you just weren't seeing?

SILVER EYES - IDEALISM AND EMPATHY

Ruby's main attribute is her Silver Eyes, which are metaphors for themes and inner attributes. So far, I think the Silver Eyes mean 2 things:

Idealism > Ever heard of Wide Eyed Idealists? Yep, those are the Silver Eyed Warriors in a nutshell. The way the eyes work is literally that they reflect the light of the world (like the Moon mirrors the Sun). The SEW can use them only if they believe life is beautiful and worth protecting. This is why the way things are now Ruby is gonna have a hard time using them again.

Empathy > Ever heard of looking at the world through shades of gray? Maybe shades of silver is more accurate here :P But yeah, the Silver Eyes are probably gonna reveal new power and strength once the theme of empathy is gonna be explored more. After all, what does it mean to see the light in the darkness, if not to look at the most monstruous people and realize they are well... people? Isn't it like seeing the person (light) behind the monster (darkness)?

Let's highlight idealism and empathy are 2 secondary themes linked to Atlas (Creation > the Shallow Sea) and Vacuo (Destruction > the Judgement of the Faunus).

Atlas explores trust, which is a declination of faith (Trust Love)

Vacuo is set up to explore empathy - Shade references the shadow, Coco needs to take off her shades to see others properly and Vacuan students throws shades at the Beacon/Haven newcomers

What does it mean for Ruby?

Ruby has been using her eyes by relying on her child-like optimism and hopeful self. Still, this mechanism can't keep on working forever. It is too psychological vexing and simplistic. I honestly think the way forward for her is to develop a new found idealism, which is more rooted into a more mature empathy.

You don't need to ignore the shadows to see the light. Rather, the light found in shadows is brighter than ever.

This is the secondary theme Ruby needs to learn in order to gain a deeper understanding on the main one she already knows, but has forgotten. This is where she needs to go if she wants to re-affirm the main theme.

OTHERS HELPING RUBY

Well, I think the topic is already addressed this last episode:

Weiss: Maybe she didn't feel like she could... Ruby has always been the one to get us through the hard times. We say things like "We believe in you!" "We can count on you!" I know we mean well, but..."

I don't think what Weiss says in the episode means all the encouragement they have offered Ruby was wrong to begin with tbh. It is just that the right words for a specific situation might be wrong for another.

Ruby has been helped and loved by her teammates. Weiss's encouragement helped her becoming a good leader. Yang's love supported her. Blake and Jaune's admiration and loyalty helped her push through in difficult times. It is just that the Ruby right now doesn't need it anymore.

Her own coping mechanism is not functional anymore, which means she needs to develop another one and others need to realize it.

Which leads us to some generic thoughts on coping mechanisms...

COPING MECHANISMS

Coping mechanisms are neither good nor bad really. They are simply mechanisms we come up with in order to survive and push through. They can be functional or dysfunctional. Even better... they can be functional for a while and then they can start not fitting anymore.

RWBY as a story makes full use of this to the point characters' main flaws turn out to be their major strengths and vice versa. This is pretty well conveyed through semblances:

Weiss's semblance initially represents her dependance on her family name. As she grows, though, it becomes symbolic of her own individuality:

And right now, she has discovered a new found strength in her family (team RWBY plus her siblings). The idea that Weiss's strength comes from her bonds with others was never wrong, but initially it is applied in a dysfunctional way. As she grows, she gains a deeper understanding of this part of herself and she gets to shine.

2 Blake's semblance represents her tendency to tun away. Still, as she grows, she realizes that it also represents her ability not to break despite the abuse and the violence:

Not only that, but even her own coping mechanism to run away from an abuser is re-framed. She did the right thing by running away from Adam... it is just she should not let this tendency of hers to control her life completely. Sometimes running is fine, while other times it is better to stand your ground and fight.

3 Yang's semblance represents her tendency to use her losses, her wounds and defeats to grow stronger. It also represents her recklessness and her self-sacrificial tendencies. This is why its use is toned down, as she grows. In exchange, she gains a better understanding of what growing up despite one's losses means:

Yang: No. My losses, my failures. Those more than anything are what have shaped me into who I am, showed me how I need to grow.

It is also probable we will see this new-found wisdom reflected into her semblance eventually:

Ruby is the same... it is just we see her strengths rather than her flaws initially:

She is fast, so fast she even skips grades. She is smart and a quick-thinker.

She is flexible and resourceful and pushes through obstacles.

She is a leader able to carry everyone else...

And yet, she is also running away from her feelings...

And she is also spreading herself too thin for others...

Until she can't anymore...

Ruby, like everybody, is a mix of positive and negative traits. Not only that, but her most positive traits are her flaws and her weakness is her strengths.

She needs to do what the others have done with her help. She needs to gain a deeper understanding of herself and of who she wants to become. Only in this way she can re-affirm herself with a deeper awareness, so not to break down again.

#rwby #ruby rose #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 9 #asksfullofsugar #stormmodblog

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emerald-notes · 7 months

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Noona! Please! Help! - Part 3

Fandom: BTS Characters: Younger Brothers BTS and Elder Sister Narrator Genre: A Little Dramatic and A Little Comedic Word Count: 1.1K Words Warning: Angsty (It’s me), mention of child abuse, self doubt, did I mention angst? Note: It’s a siblings AU story of BTS with the narrator as their elder sister. I tried to write something different from what I usually write about. I had fun making this. Hope it makes you feel good too. Happy Reading Everyone :)

Summary: Her little brothers can’t attend to a single task without her help. Be it a dance competition or asking out a girl for a date, they always seem to be finding everything too hard to go through without her by their side. ‘Our lucky charm’; that’s what they like to call her. But what if she turns out to be a misfortune in different situations in one single day?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - More to come

Who Will Pay the Rent?

9:24 a.m. 1st September, 2015

“Just a few more minutes left.” Yoongi sighs heavily, “you could have easily saved the bother to come here, today.”

“What happened?” I ask, taking the empty seat beside him. “I thought you said that we’re winning today. What’s up with that long face?”

“It seemed like that at the first half.” Yoongi nods towards the field, “as you can see, the tables took a 180 degree turn.”

Honestly, I don’t understand a thing about basketball. It is better to just take Yoongi’s words as they are. I ask him the important question now, “how much do you owe them?”

Yoongi intentionally avoids eye contact and keeps looking at the match without a reply. I notice that he is sweating like crazy. I understand now that it is not just about the game.

“Don’t tell me you have to sell a kidney to pay them.” I jokingly say to which he doesn’t budge. I grow agitated. “Yoongi! C’mon, tell me what it is?”

He sighs and says, “It’s just worth my rent, that’s all.”

“Your rent?” I ask, “like for the month?”

Yoongi nods and stays silent. We both remain silent for the rest of the game. I wish I could offer to help him. It is most likely that he will not accept anything directly from me. I, on the other hand, am not in a place to help him either.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly take a look at Jimin’s message saying he’s going inside the exam hall right now. I write a small “good luck” reply and put my phone back inside the pocket.

Yoongi starts to stand up from his seat, “Let’s get out of here! It’s not like anything can change in the last few minutes.”

I nod and follow him out of the stadium. He asks me if I want something to eat to which I shake my head.

“Noona!” Yoongi says, “Stop worrying about me. It’s not like I’m going bankrupt or something. It’s just some stupid amount of money, that’s all.”

“So,” I start hesitantly, “who will pay the rent?”

“I’ll manage that somehow, Noona. I always do.”

Yoongi’s the one among us who’s the most desperate to make a lot of money. That’s why he goes into these betting games and all. I once heard from Jin that he had found Yoongi starving himself because he lost all his money on some games and Jin had helped him that one time even though Yoongi refused to be helped. I don’t really approve of his ways but who am I to stop him? I did not raise him. I don’t even understand his ways of thinking.

I still feel like I should advise him to stop this nonsense and try something else. Something permanent. He is a genius and I know he will be able to figure something out if he wants. But I also feel like today is not the time to lecture him on life. Not when he’s already so stressed about it.

I decide to head to my next destination. I am not going to leave Yoongi in this state. So, I ask him, “If you don’t have to be anywhere, will you come with me?”

“I can manage some time. Where will you take me, Noona?”

“We’re going to meet Jimin.”

Jimin’s exam will be finished at around 11 a.m. So, Yoongi and I wait for him outside the hall where there seems to be a huge crowd of the guardians of the other students. I mentally pray that Jimin will be able to outsmart them on his test today.

“I never understand Jimin’s appeal for education.” Yoongi says.

“I think it’s the same one as yours.” I offer an explanation, “Come to think of it. At the end of the day you both want to win at life. By elevating your status. Either with education or with money.”

“You know what, Noona?”

“What?”

“I hate it so much that you’re always right!” There is a faint line of smile on his face as he says the last sentence.

“Yoongi” I suddenly feel an urge to talk to him seriously. Yoongi barely talks about his real issues.

“Noona?”

“I’m asking this because I’m really worried about you, okay?”

Yoongi frowns, “I think I know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry, Noona!”

“Oh no, dear!” I quickly add, “You don’t have to apologize. I understand that you’re going through tough times.”

“Noona!” Yoongi looks at a distance as he speaks, “Do you remember ma’s face? Like, not the one as we see in her pictures. The face of her when she was sick. That face she had before she could finally rest after years of pain she went through.”

I don’t know why Yoongi is suddenly bringing this topic. Is he really missing ma all of a sudden or just trying to change the topic? Yoongi glances at me for a second and I can see his eyes glistening.

“If only I had the money, I would have taken a bus from school to come to see you.” Yoongi sniffs, “he wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I begged him to. Said it was a ‘waste of good money seeing some sick people’. I don’t think I can ever move on from the fact that I never saw ma and pa again after I left that house.”

“Yoongi!” I can barely make myself audible.

Yoongi never talked about the times he spent with our uncle who took him in when ma fell sick. Yoongi was only four at that time and he was the only one who never came to visit us occasionally during the five years when ma and pa were still alive. When I used to ask pa about it, he would always say that Yoongi was too busy with his school. I only got to see him first at their funeral. Only after Yoongi left uncle’s place for good when he was finally eighteen, we started meeting almost regularly.

“I’m sorry, Noona, I turned up this way.” Yoongi looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, “I didn’t really have an opportunity to be any better than this. Of course, I won’t use this as an excuse. I’m all grown up now and I’m trying to be more responsible. I swear, Noona, you will be proud of me like all the rest of our brothers one day. I will make that happen.”

“But I am proud of you!” I say, “I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud that after all those shits you went through, you still grew up to be such a kind and sweet soul.”

“Thank you, Noona! But you don’t really have to cheer me up.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, “I know me.”

“And I know you too.” I slowly move towards him and pull him into a hug, “I see you, Yoongi. I see you!” I slowly pat him on his back as I can sense him fighting the urge to hug me back.

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queen-mabs-revenge · 1 year

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well. that was an episode of something alright.

no but truly whatever is happening is so fucking disappointing wrt the emotional journey and catharsis for these characters, and honestly i feel condescended to as an audience member and as a football fan. you can't just slap an isolated didactic speech over a heart tugging score and call it story telling, you can't take an 11th hour 180 turn while ignoring the characters for 10 episodes and call it character development, and you can't take a story of mass working-class fan protests against club owner greed and give it to a rich white lady as her slay girlboss story without it being actually gross.

sorry but this was 63 minutes...of what exactly?? just going through the story lines in some kind of vague order of least to most consequential for sam, keeley, roy, rebecca, and nate and this gets long so under the cut it goes:

sam - what was this supposed to even be? ok so you bring back edwin akufo for the superleague story (which by the way, changing this to the akufo league instead of the story's inspiration the european super league - which was proposed by white european billionaires - is some level of racism i can't even...) to do what? get some laughs in by retreading the grudge? putting sam through the ringer again for...??? what was the end result here? like i'm genuinely asking bc i don't understand what i'm supposed to get from his being all smiley and putting the nigerian national team photo in his locker? he's happy because jamie gave him a shout out and that's good enough for him? what the fuck is this even supposed to mean?

keeley - what was the purpose of any of this genuinely. the amount of time we spent with kjpr and i have no idea what keeley does, if she's good at her job, how she's built her relationships with her silent co-workers. when she was at richmond we got to see her in action and her stories brought out not only her own character but other characters we cared about. keeley has been utterly passive this season - her biggest moment of agency was hiring shandy and that was exploded and scrubbed from the narrative. everything else from jack to the leak to being defunded just happened to her and she cried about it. and now rebecca's swooping in to refund her again and genuinely what is even happening here? the conflict for her character that was set up last year was that she was experiencing success in a completely new way and she was scared she wasn't going to live up to it and the conflict between the work she felt she needed to do to live up to expectations and how that would affect other relationships in her life, especially that with roy. how was that addressed? at all? we've seen her nebulously stressed, we've been told she's working a lot without being allowed to experience what she's doing, we've seen her try and emulate both ted and rebecca without success, and what? what else? a couple of looks between her and roy? her getting picked up and put down by a vc funder both financially and personally? what kind of synthesis has she reached here???

roy - which brings us to roy. we get the 'i'm talking about my football career but actually i'm talking about my relationship with keeley' in the chelsea episode which was great because it set up a conflict for roy this season - the idea that he cuts and runs to put distance between himself and moments of vulnerability to avoid possible failure and as a result never truly engages and enjoys experiences or people in the moment. great brilliant amazing love it -- what the fuck happened. i feel like you can vaguely connect something about how his training jamie is teaching jamie not to do what he did - to actually give his emotional all to his development as a footballer instead of detaching when things were at there most frustrating with zava there. that where roy used his anger and gruffness as a mask, jamie was using his cockiness but both to the same end of detaching from a situation they felt was out of their control. but i feel like i'm carrying a lot of water with all that, and while yes there have been moments of roy being more open this season, he's for a lot of it been relegated to weird comic relief if you can even call it that? (sorry but the rope monologue and the dick string training are both fucked up and weird and went on for way too long). he pulled a ted at the press conference (and told someone else's miscarriage story hmm)? he and keeley have been kept apart for the entirety of this season so like....i don't know? what was this? a fake holiday to wedge in a scene with his sister, phoebe and jamie? an epiphany that he was a mess? that he caused damage? and he writes a letter and now everything's good roykeeley back on track? the fact that they were kept apart for the majority of the season just feels like.......was any of this actually sorted through? did we experience either of these characters interact in any way where they challenged each other in this journey? that lead up to this reconciliation? this culmination feels so unearned.

rebecca - and speaking of unearned, the entire set-up for her arc of getting the fuck over rupert and finding joy in the team without it being about someone else was there. from her rashness in swooping zava from under rupert's nose, to her yelling at ted about winning, the 'him-you-mean-them' conversation, her maniacal behaviour at half-time during the west ham game. but where was the move out of this? she met a guy on a boat? she..........what??? how have we seen her grow out of this moment? what have we seen besides this deus ex machina of....what? remembering a story about rupert's childhood and bing bang boom - oh he was just a child once too? and the end, job's a good'un? fast forwarding through the total football catharsis short-shrifted rebecca, too. if the football is the expository tool to reveal things about our characters, the idea that a strategy that puts a singular thing at the focus to the detriment of everything else is bad for football and it's bad for people is a great narrative device. but...just as we're being told and not shown that it's working on the field, we're getting the same treatment off. rebecca is realising that the community both in and around the club is more fulfilling than a psychic's quote unquote predictions and using the club as a tool for narrow-focused spite -- ok show that??? show her reactions to the fans attending training. show other small moments where she enjoys the game? puts the club above embarrassing rupert at all costs? that moment with higgins talking about possibly firing ted bc of the winless streak could have been a glimpse of that but it was thrown away instead (but to be honest, how much of that is a retreading of her journey in s1?). so what do we get instead - girlbossery with, i'm sorry, a really fucking beyond heavy-handed moment with seeing her young self in the mirror? that does what? tells us that she's able to stand firm in a room full of men? did we...not know that? that she realises she's in it bc she loves the game? does she?? again, by not seeing the moments of total football triumph, we missed out on the opportunity to show her falling in love with the sport and becoming a true fan, not just an owner. if that's even what i'm supposed to be getting from this!!?? not to mention that her big moment of realising passion for the beautiful game was more important than her spite was directly ripped from the headlines but completely twisted. as i mentioned before, in april 2021 a bunch of white european billionaire club owners did indeed try to form a european super league out of a closed group of 12 of the richest european clubs, but clear cash grab wasn't stopped by a rich white lady having a moment of #selflove and altruistic benevolence, it was stopped by a mass protest of working-class fans pointing out the clear capitalist greed of the move:

nate - and god if all of this isn't just a slap in the face to nate's character arc. again, the set up of the first two seasons was clear and great! nate's struggle with self-worth especially rooted in his inability to live up to his father's expectations; his being bullied and undervalued and then clinging to someone who was giving him the affirmations he was craving, his projecting those unresolved issues onto ted who both couldn't live up to those expectations, and who made his own mistakes as he struggled through his own personal turmoil and mental health issues. the way all of those unresolved issues and referred anger came to a head for the both of them in nate's exposing ted's panic attacks to try and hurt him the way he felt hurt. and then falling into the arms of someone who was ready to exploit nate's talent and insecurity for his own gains. it's so good! it's so fucking good that it's bananas that we barely get to see any of his reconcilation play out! we get the beginning with rupert's emotional manipulation on display...and then what? nate is sidelined for the majority of the season! he's absent in some episodes altogether! HE QUITS HIS JOB OFF SCREEN AND WE GET NONE OF HIS INNER THOUGHTS AS TO WHY EXACTLY AND WE'RE LEFT TO DO THE WORK OF FILLING IN THE BLANKS??? we get that tell-not-show moment with his family with his dad's map, but like then there's no significant interaction between nate and his father until this episode? we get most of nate's personal development through his relationship with jade instead of diving into his relationship with his parents and teasing that out to build up to the emotional cathartic moment in this episode? there's so much untapped complexity in nate's arc! that tension with his parents, how the pressures both his father as an immigrant and himself as first gen are amplified by the pressures of rigid masculinity. how his father felt the need to stifle that creative sweetness in himself to make sure nate succeeded and had the best opportunity because of the combined pressures of race, class, masculinity, and feeling out of his depths when faced with his son's brilliance. nate's conflict between expressing his own softness and creativity v his feelings of the expectations of masculinity and success. so much of that could have been drawn out instead of sidelined and then infodumped and concluded in a few minutes of one episode! look! nate plays the violin aren't you feeling emotions? so many minutes of nate laying in bed and so few of the exploration of his and his father's dynamic that was set up to be the hingepoint of his frustration, insecurity and anger that manifested in his ruptured relationship with ted and richmond! and it's back to the total football -- that jade is part of his development isn't a bad thing! showing nate as becoming fulfilled both familially and romantically is actually good, esp for a character of colour! the idea that a healthy life is a full life with many different elements of one's community playing in tandem and concert to build towards a fulfillment and joy! but like...ok??? do so that???? and not all in one moment with All The Right Words At The Same Time???? what the fuck man this feels so fucking surface level and i just with the sheer amount of minutes given to episodes this season, what the fuck were they spent on if not this???

i'm sorry, but epiphany moments like the four (four!!!) in this episode work in romcom movies because we have 90 minutes with the characters. we accept certain shorthand for character growth because we understand the constraints of the narrative framework. it's bananas and fucking lazy to think that's OK for a serial format, especially one that's ballooned in time over the past season! what the fuck have those minutes been used for except for apparently spinning the fucking wheels on all of these development arcs until the last saccharine moment? aren't you crying with emotions, hmmmm?????

none of this feels earned and i feel genuinely gross at being thrown a few Emotionally Coded scenes and being expected to have my little heartstrings pulled enough that the squandered and self-indulgent mess of this season - that threw all of this character development into the trash - doesn't matter. we've spent years with these characters, the first two seasons carefully set up deep conflicts that should have been given careful and deep resolutions.

instead this episode gives us a naked ass and insists that it's clothed in glorious tie dye.

it's a naked fucking ass. and whatever patchwork loincloth the last two episodes whip up, it can't make up for the wasted potential, laziness and self-indulgent disaster of jason sudeikis's showrunning.

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso critical #seriously dead dove do not eat #but like...fairly i think? dead fair dove do not eat lmao #anyway trent crimm you will always be famous please make it throught the last two relatively unexplored #and therefore relatively unscathed by whatever the hell is going on here

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yvmoveon · 2 years

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TW death. This is a vent post for myself.

I keep thinking about what happened these past shifts I’ve worked. I need to vent everything out but I don’t even know where to start…

I started my shift with high acuity pts. One pt had bladder cancer and was going to surgery and ended with a CBI foley. Another was demented and her hemoglobin was at 3. Another had a exploratory lap sx. Another had a blood infection. and then the lady had MS and a UTI that turned into blood infection. But the patient that really had me emotionally and physically exhausted was this lethargic 79 year old man. He had covid and then ended up with clots in his legs and arms, a pulmonary embolism (clot in his lungs) and then a brain stroke. oh and also his heart rate was consistently in the 180s. When i received him, he was literally was a vegetable. he was being fed through a nasogastric tube. okay so here was the problem. he started getting more labored in his breathing so i checked his oxygen and he was at 70 percent i was like oh no. I went to get a non rebreather and I texted the doc to let him know. he was like there is nothing we can do, he needs to be on hospice because he’s very sick. I agreed. this man’s quality of life would be so low it’s like why make this man suffer.

I was able to get an order of morphine to relax him and stuff which worked for a short time. Now the granddaughter came and she works in the medical field. Palliative care NP came to speak to her about the code status. The pt was full code not Do Not Resuscitate. So like if his heart were to stop, we would have to do CPR and possibly break his rib bones all so that he will die in pain. Which made me extremely sad. The grand daughter was explaining that the pts wife deferred all decision making and to her except the code status. whenever anyone talked to her about allowing her husband to die with dignity instead of die with broken bones and in pain. But she was in so much denial and she didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with everything which i completely understand. but like also … I saw how much distress this pt was in and i knew he wouldn’t make it within the next 24 hours.

So. I called the doctor because he started breathing agonally and he looked so uncomfortable. I felt so bad and I was getting so upset at the situation because you can see this man is suffering. The doctor told me to start a morphine drip and i was like huh?! with a full code pt?? So I called another doctor and he was like why would that doctor want to start a morphine drip when the patient is a full code. I was like exactly it don’t make no sense and i’m not doing that. so the doctor called me back saying he spoke with the grand daughter and the wife was still refusing but she wanted to start the morphine drip. which essentially meant the morphine drip which is given for comfort care so that pts could die in comfort… but if a patient is full code… that means when his heart stop from the drip, we would have to start CPR and break his bones. It basically doesn’t make sense cause it’s contraindicated.

So then another doctor calls and he’s like yeah no we’re not doing that all. it doesn’t make sense. he heard how stressed i was. 😭😭😭 i was stressed !!! So then he was like we’re going to do it the usual way and call icu and start him on high flow oxygen (because his oxygenation became like 20s) I called a freaking code, freaking out about how imma have to break this man’s bones when his quality of life is low and knowing he wont make it. So the code team comes in and the pt doesn’t lose a pulse thank God. We put on the high flow machine and the max he goes on to is like 80s. The code team and my coworkers are all looking stressed and sad because of the situation, it was just soooo sad all around. I got so upset because this man is suffering for what? because his wife doesn’t want to make a decision. by this time, i’m on my 15th hour of work. I leave and come back the next day and the pt coded again and ended up in ICU (when the family didn’t want that but changed their mind at the last second). Around 11am I hear a code blue in ICU and I immediately knew it was him. My friend was actually his nurse… they ended up doing 4 rounds of CPR. He ended up dying. But i’m glad he’s in peace rn. Seeing him in pain and struggling.

And then there was another code the next shift. I was sitting next door when i saw the pts heart going down… 50… 40… 30s… 20s and I said out loud, umm that doesn’t look too good. So i go and help the nurse and the pts heart is now asystole and i’m like um we need to call a code but the assistant manager is like um no we don’t the family was speaking to the doctor about hospice and making her DNR. So then me and this nurse asks, is there an official order? and he said no so we called the dang code. I was pissed off because you can’t just say you’re not gonna start CPR for that reason??? the family was there too and they confirmed that we should start it(This is why I’m scared of these new nurses). We began the CPR for 4 rounds, the pt didn’t make it either.

And getting through this all while precepting a new nurse mind you. It was just a lot of emotions and stuff man.

#and to add i was vomiting all night lmao #it was just a lot #I’m glad he’s at peace now #i was so emotional man #this whole situation just confirms to me that i wanna make a detailed will so my family won’t have to worry about about making the tough #decisions #cause this man ended up with broken bones and dying in pain for what??#anyways i’m done now #💀#venting #nursing #medicine

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percabeth4life · 3 years

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How would you write Athena and Poseidon making a bet that their kid couldn't last a day as the other-

And Percy and Annbeth are just trying to avoid unwanted attention... but at an Official Dinner Party and Athena and Poseidon are pretending not to know.

Like- like body swap? Oh stars that would be so fun.

Okay so Poseidon and Athena are having a debate on which of their kids are better and how "well my kid can do this" "well mine can do this" and so on.

And Athena makes a comment about how Percy couldn't last a day in Annabeth's position. Like any of it. And Poseidon is immediately up in arms like "excuse you, my son could be her on her most stressful day and do amazing, but your daughter could never be Percy on his most stressful day" and Athena is like "oh it's on, when are they gonna be stressed?"

And the two go look at the calendar and are like "okay, Annabeth has these projects due this day, and ooh this day has several hard classes, two submissions for project proposals, a meeting about Mt. Olympus rebuilding, and the dinner with us ha!" "Perfect day, Percy has an 8am class, a meeting with some undersea dignitaries and has an exam in his marine biology class, which Annabeth isn't taking, and that's on top of the dinner, so there."

And the two are like "kay we're switching them then" and then go about their day completely prepared to fuck with their kids without telling them to prove their points because the two have completely forgotten that "hey, your kids might not appreciate this"

So Percy and Annabeth wake up on that day and lmao they're each other. When they realize they call each other immediately but they have to get to classes and have all those important things that day so they can't not go so they're mildly freaking out.

So Percy is having to turn in Annabeth's project proposals and at least one is a presentation and the other a doc that she hadn't actually finished putting together and was gonna finish in the morning but Percy has an 8am class (with a teacher that doesn't allow computers) which means she can't finish and Percy has to do that for her cause lets say the first presentation is :) at 9am.

So Percy has to scramble to put everything together for her presentation (lets say in one of her English classes) and he manages to scrap it together from her notes. Then he has to present!

Thankfully Annabeth was alright in the 8am, just took notes for Percy to go over later. But the exam in his class was at 10am, and it's marine biology and she knows nothing about that so has to start scrambling to study his notes.

Percy meanwhile manages to give the presentation, and because he didn't actually read the book and had scrambled to put it together he was winging half of it and managed to point at a different theme altogether but other than a few mix ups he did great!

Annabeth meanwhile is scrambling and stressing over his marine biology class and honestly she probably failed half the exam but she's good at winging stuff and she at least skimmed all the notes so probably didn't flunk it.

Percy manages to turn in her other proposal and then has her physics class! This would be fine except the teacher loves to use the iClicker, which means mini quizzes, which are important to the daily grade. He is allowed his computer so he has a chat open with Annabeth and she's sending him answers there.

Annabeth, meanwhile, is preparing for the meeting with undersea because she only knows what Percy had rambled to her about the undersea so is rather stressed out, especially because all of his notes are in Halmaheran (yes I'm shoving my undersea language in here, yes you will all accept it) and she only knows a few verbal phrases in the language.

Percy then has to grab her notes for the new Olympus design and is absolutely stressing out because Annabeth is a genius and her designs are lovely only he knows none of the terms for half of them and he only knows those cause he picked them up from years of listening to her rambles.

The two meetings are at the same time so they both suffer and can't rely on the other but they try to coach each other before they begin (they don't even have time to try to get someone to fix the situation).

So Percy is presenting to Athena, Hephaestus, and Ares (who's temple is being discussed) and trying very hard to be super polite and chill while stumbling over the presentation and Ares is lowkey annoyed that she's not being like... super professional like he'd heard she was but it's percy not annabeth but only Athena knows.

and she's all smug that Percy is failing and makes a comment and Percy does a 180 because "she did not just insult my girlfriend who I am right now but she doesn't know that I'm gonna crush this" and very aggressively starts talking about all the benefits of the temple having a fighting ring (using everything he's ever learned from annabeth's rambles) and he hadn't put it in the design yet because he (she) wanted to discuss with Ares first about what he thought and Ares is very excited and Athena is glaring.

And while that goes on Annabeth is in the meeting with the dignitaries and only trips over greetings a little and has no idea what half the words they use are but is winging it and doing alright actually (talking with Percy has gotten her used to the language even if she isn't anywhere near fluent).

She manages to talk about all the official undersea business Percy told her about but was a bit hesitant to bring anything too big up cause this is his thing.

but Poseidon makes a side comment on how this is the only meeting they can schedule for a bit and Annabeth is like "fuck it I gotta go for it" and just brings up everything she's ever heard Percy talk about needing improvement in the sea.

And then they meet up to get ready for the dinner with their parents and they're exhausted and have to sit through the thing and watch baffled as their parents actually advocate that the opposite is better at whatever and are about to start a fight and Annabeth and Percy who have been panicking all day are like "hang on-" and then they realize the parents are behind it and like-

the parents are like "yeah because there was no way the other could handle that as good as you" and the two are so tired and done and just go "switch us back".

And anyways the two actually do great as the other because they COMMUNICATE and shit and the Gods underestimated how much they talk to each other. Like yeah they're not nearly as knowledgeable or skilled as the other but they listen and absorb what the other says and it means they can passably discuss the subject with decent confidence.

The school stuff was honestly the hardest stuff and if they flunked anything because their parents switched their brains they will murder their parents.

Apollo is cackling in the background and Aphrodite is like "You two doubted their love and devotion hmm?" and the two are sulking until the next fight.

#writing asks #anon asks #life answers #pjo #hoo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #pjoverse #pjo poseidon #pjo athena #the two actually talk and stuff and listen so they're passable in the others areas #not anywhere near the expertise #but when motivated with spite and coached in the subject before hand they can absolutely manage it #the school stuff sucked tho #body swap au

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benevolentbirdgal · 3 years

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Purim: a Jewish holiday and wild ride from start to finish

So let me tell you about the absolute soap opera that is the Jewish holiday of Purim. The scene is set in ancient (appx. 4th century B.C.E.) Persia during the first Jewish Diaspora, in the city of Shushan (typically identified in secular sources as Susa, a now-abandoned ancient city in what is now Iran). I’m telling you, as a work of literature (even beyond theological implications for Jewish people), this book has everything: love, drama, royalty, intrigue, ego, plots, irony, mystery, and a strong female lead.

[some non-slur swearing below]

Ahasuerus, party-loving king of Persia executed or exiled (translations argue) his wife Vashti, and had to find a new queen. Why did he do this, you ask? Well, it really starts with an 180-day party across his kingdom for all his subjects to celebrate the third year of his reign. After that absolute rager, party-bro KA has another one immediately after for a week, this time just for the capital city of Shushan. Vashti was having a woman’s party in her quarters, presumably living her best life, when party-bro sends his top seven yes-men to deliver a message to Vashti. This sleaze-ball wants her to appear at his party in front of everyone, wearing her crown, with the clear implication being only her crown. Vashti more or less tells him to pound sand (I mean, not the literal translation, but that’s the sentiment).

KA’s advisors convince him that this is not only an offense against the king but also against all the men in the country (ah, the joys of ancient patriarchy and toxic af masculinity). KA writes a degree that women must respect their husbands so he has an official reason to get rid of Vashti. Vashti is soon thereafter out of the picture and the king is short a queen. Whether she was a Wise Lady With A Point Who Got Screwed Over or a Vicious Jew-Hating Adulteress Who Had It Coming has been a matter of furious debate for over two millennia (the Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud vociferously disagree on her). In any case, KA regrets it pretty quick and wants a new queen.

At the behest of his advisors (you know, since their last advice worked out soooooo well), KA had a big contest/forcible gathering of young women from around his kingdom and a Jewish woman, Hadassah, was the winner. Hadassah was an orphan raised by her cousin Mordechai in the city of Shushan. Hadassah is more commonly known as Esther, because she changed her name to hide her identity as a Jew (at the behest of Mordechai). In any case, KA decided he liked Esther best and she became queen (it’s specifically mentioned both that he loved her most and that the palace staff liked her because she was nice to them-it’s unclear how much of an influence the latter was).

Concurrently, a wicked man named Haman was the top advisor to the king and the king would basically rubber-stamp whatever Haman wanted. Haman was a raging Jew-hater-this will be relevant later.

Some time into Esther’s reign as queen, Mordechai, who has taken to hanging around the gates of the palace to keep in touch with Esther, overhears a plot by two guards, Bigthan and Teresh, to kill the king. Mordechai alerts his cousin, and she tells the king. It’s recorded in the book of deeds and life keeps moving.

Some time later, Haman decides (after a promotion to head lackey) that he wants all to bow to him as he passes. Mordechai refused to bow to Haman every single day (citing that as a Jew he bowed to no man), and that did not sit well with Haman. So despite being prime minister and presumably having more important things to do, “genocide the Jews” made it to the top of to-do list. He didn’t like them before, and Mordechai refusing to treat him like a special snowflake was something he took really, really personally (totally can’t think of any modern politicians like that, nope). He told KA, who frankly doesn’t seem to ask enough questions, that there was a people disrespecting the king and his laws throughout the land, and could he pretty-please exterminate them. As a bonus, Haman would “donate” 10,000 silver kikar to the royal treasury (modern conversion vary, but all agree this an absurd amount on money).

KA handed him the royal seal to do so. Haman was feeling lucky I guess so he decided the best course of action was to draw lots to pick the day for the massacre. [Purim is lots in Hebrew, so that’s where the name of the holiday came from]. The message went out to all the provinces that on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, that they citizens and leaders should murder all of the Jews, young and old, man, woman, and child, rich and poor and take their possessions as spoils.

As this wasn’t exactly a state secret, the Jews knew and were quite distressed. The planned slaughter was like a year out, but what the actual fuck were they supposed to do? If you lived in Persia at that point that, the empire was functionally your entire world, unless you were fabulously/ridiculously wealthy and well-connected. Having several months notice the other locals and your rules were going to slaughter you and take your stuff isn’t particularly useful when there’s really nowhere to go.

In Shushan, Mordechai (who, although not explicitly in text, is in oral/Talmudic tradition a leader of the Jewish community) goes into mourning. He dresses in sackcloth and ashes, he weeps, and he fasts at the gates of the palace, as Jews throughout shushan and the kingdom are doing. Esther hears of her cousin’s mourning behavior and tries to send along nice clothes through a messenger, which he refuses. It is then that she learns of the decree. Mordechai (through the messenger) implores her to go ask the king if the Jews not getting murdered could be a thing. Esther explains that she could be killed for approaching the king unsummoned. Mordechai stresses the severity of the situation. Esther agrees to ask the king and tells Mordechai to have the Shushan Jewish community fast day and night (as opposed to just day as prior) for three days, and she and her handmaidens will fast too (no word on what the handmaidens thought of this).

On the third day, Esther bravely approached the king, asked him if she could request something. He said anything, up to half his kingdom (which implies to me that homedude, for all his flaws, was actually into her). Esther invited him to a party, where he and Haman would be the only guests. At the party she asks if she can another request. KA is open to it and she invites him to another party the next night. Party-bro king is obviously down and Haman is tickled to death at this second invitation.

He goes home to brag to his wife, Zeresh, about the invite and also to bitch about how angsty he is Mordechai is still alive (this angst reignited by passing him on the way home). Zeresh suggests he have fifty-foot gallows built to make Mordechai an example on, with the king’s permission, ASAP. Haman orders the building of the gallows, feeling secure in the knowledge that his bestie the king will execute Mordechai on them.

Back at the castle KA can’t sleep. He demands a bedtime story from the his records, because those will presumably put him to sleep. The story that gets read, ~coincidentally~, is of Mordechai saving KA’s life. Haman had sidled on up to the castle to speak to the king about killing Mordechai, and the king called him in. KA asks Haman, if he were to honor someone, what should he do? Haman is thinking “this is obvi about me” and tells the king that the honoree should be donned in royal clothing, and ride through the streets on a fancy horse with people someone shouting how great he is. KA is like great, love it, perf, go do that for Mordechai. Haman is not a happy camper but does the thing. After that, he goes home and tells Zeresh about it, who warns him that this is a very bad sign.

Finally, that night is the night of Esther’s second soiree. Haman and KA attend. The latter offers to Esther anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. Esther asks that her life, and the life of her people be spared. KA is like “whomst” and Esther revealed it was Haman. At this point Ahasuerus.exe stops working and he takes a walk to the gardens. He comes back to see Haman begging Esther for his life, and KA thinks Haman is assaulting her. Haman was seized by nearby guards.

One of the chamberlains is then like, hey, KA, coincidentally there’s these super high gallows Haman just had built. Why not take care of the problem that way? (The fact that the random nearby chamberlain was like yup, that dude, hang ‘em in the morning, probably says a lot about how Haman treated most people around him, even more than forcing all to bow to him). KA orders it be done.

Not that Haman was around to be sad about it, but what happened next would have massively pissed him off, as his old job then went to Mordechai. Esther then implored of the king that the degree to allow the massacre of the Jews be reversed. The king couldn’t Cntrl+Z the order to murder-all-the-Jews, but he could issue an order that they could fight back. The proclamation was sent throughout the land, and the Jews were able to prepare. Since the royal decree had been amended, the governments (princes, governors, satraps) largely reformulated their plans accordingly, but plenty of Jew-haters still wanted to use the opportunity. The ability to self-defend meant that the communities weren’t massacred. In most of the kingdom, the Jews were now safe. Outside of Shushan, the fourteenth of Adar became a feast day.

Shushan was still not safe though. Antisemites were still out and mad (and apparently had not learned from the previous day), so Esther asked the Jews of Shushan to be allowed to defend themselves once more. Her wish was granted, and the Shushan Jews were able to defend themselves once more (so Purim is celebrated a day later in walled cities).

The story ends with the decision to write it down, and although there some debate on authorship, it is traditionally attributed to Esther herself cowriting with Mordechai.

Nowhere in the book is God mentioned. Nowhere is there divine intervention (at least not explicitly). Just Jews sticking up for themselves, being brave in the face of mortal peril, and a metric fucktown of chutzpah.

#jumblr #purim #purim story #jewish soap opera for real though #purim 2021 #purim 5781 #what is purim #purim explained #jewblr

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nightowlwriting · 3 years

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summary: fjord takes care of the mighty nein. you take care of fjord. (part 4/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 2.7k

warnings: mentions of self-hatred, bullying, lack of self-confidence

note: idk why this one took me so long and, honestly, it was almost super nsfw lmfao

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

Fjord is a man who appears to know exactly what he needs and when he needs it. You’re not so sure. You tend to hang back when the group talks to people, or finds jobs for coin, just to watch. That’s what you like to do - get information, tuck it away, use it later.

It just happens that sometimes you end up watching Fjord. There’s no reason, not really. He’s the leader by default, no matter how much Nott will say that it’s Caleb. He does most of the talk, smiling all coy and leaning against things to charm the party’s way through whatever Gods forsaken situation you end up in. It mostly works, with some exceptions. There are things you begin to notice in the nights after Fjord has failed to charm someone with a well-placed wink, or a sir or a ma’am. He makes the fire just a little bit larger, stacking logs and kindling and using his flint so that Caleb doesn’t have to use his magic. He cooks heartier food, sometimes even disappearing and coming back with a skewered animal from the forest to add to the pot of simmering soup. He takes the first watch and doesn’t wake anyone until halfway through the second watch so that everyone can sleep longer, even if it makes him crabby the morning after.

You come to a conclusion. Fjord takes care of people when he feels like he’s not enough. He overcompensates in his acts of kindness when something he does fails - but why? To make you all stay? To make sure you know his worth in the group? To make up for whatever he sees as a downfall? Honestly, you’re worried it’s a little bit of all three. You’re not really sure about how the mind works - that would be more for Molly, or Caleb honestly - but growing up in an orphanage with children who pick and prod at your every physical characteristic cannot be good for a person. Especially with Fjord insisting that he doesn’t have a last name, despite the times that he introduces himself and you see it die on his lips before he can say it. There’s something there, but you won’t pry. People deserve their secrets. They deserve to keep something for themselves.

If he wants to keep his last name, that’s fine with you. If he wants to keep the self-loathing inside of him until he explodes, well, that’s not fine with you. That’s why when you realize that he decompresses by making himself useful, as if the group might dismiss him just because a few people were immune to his charms, you decide to do something. No amount of reassurance from anyone will convince him otherwise and the rest of the group tends to shrug away from his slightly overbearing kindness when something goes south. Caleb, Beau, and Molly are just uncomfortable with it while Jester is usually too engrossed in journaling, Tusk Love, or talking to the Traveler. Nott is somewhere between Caleb and Yasha (uncomfortable and straight-up not around to be doted on.) And… Well, that leaves you.

It’s not that you mind Fjord’s constant doting after he perceives something to have gone wrong, but it’s hard to let him in. Your life before the Mighty Nein wasn’t exactly peaches and cream, either, but you know that he needs this. He needs to feel like he’s doing something for someone or he’ll break. You only notice that, though, after a particularly rough, rainy day of trying to get information out of people for a job. Fjord had forgotten something important which threw off the communication and sent everyone you were working with into an angry tizzy. By the time you make it back to the tavern, everyone is soaked to the bone and cranky, even you - and you tried your best to avoid getting out in the rain. What you really want to do is go back to your room and change out of your wet clothes and then go to fucking bed, but you hold back. The group disperses one by one until it’s just you and Fjord left at the bar, and before you can make your leave you see his hands shaking. His hands, which are large and calloused and strong, are shaking like a leaf in the wind. There’s no other outward sign that he’s feeling stressed or upset, and that surprises you. It also worries you. This is not how Fjord acts when something goes wrong. He doesn’t sit at the bar and brood over an ale - he mother-hens his friends until they’re sick to death of hearing his deep, drawling voice.

The combination of these things is probably what makes you pause halfway out of your seat, eyes narrow and trained on him. He makes eye contact for a brief second before looking back down to his drink. You know that approaching and asking him if he’s okay will get you nowhere but you can’t leave him alone at the bar, not when you know he’s stewing on every mistake, every misstep, whether they really happened or he’s just overanalyzing his movements. He’s your… He’s more than a friend to you, despite the fact that he doesn’t know that and you don’t show it outwardly. Fjord means too much to you to be able to let him sit and spiral into a funnel of self-doubt. You know that it will be weird to put your pride to the side and ask for help, but you also know that you don’t really need help.

But asking Fjord for help means that he’ll feel better and you think that’s a very good reason to shelf your pride for a night.

He barely looks up at you when you approach, still dripping all over the tavern’s floors and hesitant to speak. He doesn’t speak, either, just takes another long pull from his ale to bide his time until you leave. (Probably.) You take the leap first and say his name. “Fjord.” He doesn’t look at you. “I know we’ve all had a bad day,”

“You can say that again,” He snorts.

“We have,” You stress, one hand finding the hilt of the dagger on your waist for some sort of comfort. You’re wildly uncomfortable and can feel the urge to run, get away, flee building up in your gut. If you’re not careful, it’ll spill out your mouth and you’ll be forced out of the tavern for the night in humiliation and self-preservation. “It has been one hell of a day today. I do not want to be alone.” Your sentence cuts off briskly and Fjord looks up in surprise. Your face mirrors his - untamed surprise. You had really opened your mouth to ask if he wanted to find a table and listen to your vent but what came out was I do not want to be alone. You blink and think what the fuck? Before Fjord is shaking off his surprise and standing.

“I suppose I can give Molly the room for the night.” He extends an arm towards you but doesn’t look at you. He’s doing a much better job of hiding how strange you’re acting than you are but still, you’re not going to let this opportunity pass. You wrap your own arm around Fjord’s and he begins to lead you toward the stairs. “Anything specific bothering you?”

“Nothing really,” You hum as you respond, hoping that by allowing him past your walls that it will help him, “Today is just a bad day.” Fjord halfheartedly agrees and your nerves shoot through the roof when he leaves you at your door, explaining that he’s going to warn Molly that he won’t be in the room tonight. You nod at him and slip into your own room, leaving the door cracked so that he won’t feel awkward about entering. Your laundry is everywhere and you grit your teeth, doing your best to hold back a scream. God damnit, you’re about to have the man that you have a crush on in your room and today is the day you threw your laundry all over?

It doesn’t even matter that he’s traveled with you in carts where there is no possible way to not overlap on laundry slash unmentionables. You still dash about, shoving your laundry into a pile in the corner and covering it with your weapons and shield just before Fjord raps his knuckles against the door frame, calling your name. You shiver and invite him in, wringing your hands as you stand in front of the unlit fireplace. “Are you okay?” He’s so earnest and it makes you feel… A little bad. You don’t want to say no to having Fjord be with you overnight because his presence is so calming, but it’s also… He’s not in your room because…

Ugh. “Fjord,” You say before you can stop yourself, “Okay, so, you can’t be mad but I noticed when things go wrong you’re really, really hard on yourself and you shouldn’t be. And I also noticed that when you’re hard on yourself you dive into taking care of other people because, I don’t know, maybe it feels like you’re doing something good? I’m not sure, but I really meant to ask if you wanted to talk but then that came out instead but I can’t let you stay in here if you don’t know why I asked.” He stands there, taking in what you’ve said, and then shakes his head. Your room is dark - too dark for you to see whether or not the small smile on his face is actually there or if you’re imagining it. When he chuckles, you’re more apt to believe that Fjord is actually smiling even after the day he’s had. “Um,” You finally cut the silence, “Please say something.”

“You mean to tell me,” He drawls, stepping slowly closer and removing his chest plate. It’s like his mood has gone a full 180 from where it was when he left you outside of your room, “That you looked so awkward and like a li’l kicked puppy because you wanted to help me feel better?” He sets his chest plate on the table, coming into your sight as your vision begins to adjust. You don’t get a good look at what’s happening on his face because you look away very quickly, setting your jaw.

“Well, when you put it that way,” You grumble and cross your arms, “You just like to help people - it makes you feel better.”

Fjord comes to a stop in front of you and sighs, but doesn’t say anything. Your hands begin to shake and honestly, you regret your stupid fucking decision to try and help Fjord out. You wouldn’t be here, standing in front of him and purely humiliated, if you didn’t look at him and notice so much. He finally responds, one of his hands coming up to touch at your bicep and then trails up until he’s cupping your shoulder. “I do like to help people,” He’s speaking more from his chest than his mouth, and you can almost feel the rumble through the grip he has on your shoulder. It’s not tight but it’s there, heavy and comforting. “I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

“I notice a lot,” You supply, tugging your chin away when Fjord tries to use the other hand to make you look at him. It’s only after he says your name in a soft voice that you look. You’re surprised to see that he looks soft… Soft and fond. “Please,” You whisper, uncrossing your arms to grab both of his wrists. You’re not even sure what you’re asking for but the way that you whispered please is the closest to begging that you’ve ever gotten.

“Please?” Fjord says, sounding incredibly confused but soft at the same time. You shake your head, trying again to look away from him. He ducks down, catching your eyes again, “It’s just me, remember? This is why you asked me here, isn’t it? To help you feel better?”

To your horror, you feel yourself mist up. “I invited you here so you could feel better, Fjord. I don’t want you to be so hard on yourself, and the only time I’ve seen you calm down after a bad day is when you’re taking care of one of us. I thought… Even if I don’t really need to be taken care of, that would help you. I just want… I want you to feel better.” He steps closer toward you, caging you into the rough stone of the fireplace but doesn’t speak. You’re almost worried that Fjord is going to cold clock you, but then he does something that you expected even less.

He surges forward and kisses you. Every part of him nearly engulfs you - the hand on your shoulder moves to the back of your neck, anchoring you to him, while he groans deep in the back of his throat. Your hands scramble for some purchase to express your surprise, landing on his hearty shoulders, clenching in the fabric of his shirt. You sigh into Fjord’s groan, and press as close as possible to his body heat. No matter how much you don’t want to admit it, you’ve been craving this: closeness with another person, pressing tight against their body… You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that when you thought of that, of intimacy, that you pictured Fjord. You just didn’t think he pictured you.

Fjord surges forward again, and you feel the soft scrape of tusks against you when he opens his mouth to breathe, keeping his nose pressed tightly to yours. “I didn’t think,” He says, accent thinner than you’ve heard previously, “I never dreamed that you would feel…”

“Oh, I feel,” You tell him, slowly moving your hands until you can intertwine your fingers behind his neck, “I feel so much, Fjord.”

“You never said…” He sneaks another kiss between his words, dropping his hands to squeeze at your waist, “You never even let on that you see me this way.”

“I do a lot of looking and not a lot of showing,” You remind him - it was something he had said to you when you first joined his group. I always catch you lookin’, but you never show. It’s terribly funny because he’d said it while the Mighty Nein were all naked, sudsy, and sharing a bathhouse at Molly’s insistence. The group had a field day with that and still does. The memory is apparently still fresh in Fjord’s head because a blush creeps high over his cheeks and he looks away, flustered. “You’re strong and pretty and beautiful and you take care of us so well. Even when you’ve had a bad day. I look up to you so much, but at the same time I want, perhaps selfishly, to take care of you in ways that you might not take care of the group.” He almost looks surprised at what you’ve said, but then it melts into a look of soft adoration. Fjord kisses you again and then drags his lips lightly over the arch of your cheek before he rests his head on your shoulder where he inhales deeply, his breath tickling your throat. You can feel his hands contracting against your waist, like he wants to touch and feel but is settling for keeping them where they are and feeling the soft give of your flesh. You know your heart is spinning at what feels like a million miles per hour, and you know that he can probably hear it, too. You can’t find anything in you that cares, though, because you’re so close to Fjord. He smells like saltwater, you realize. Not in a way that it seems like he’s been coughing it up again, or in the ocean, but just sort of… Naturally. Like he’s always smelled that way. Like you’ve always known he smelled that way. Like you were always meant to know and to find comfort in it. You pull yourself closer, relishing in the way that you hold each other, and Fjord sighs. You can feel the way that he relaxes underneath your hold and you relax, too.

This… This is the way that it’s supposed to be. This is how you can do for Fjord what he’s done for your team - except different. Except more.

#critical role imagine #c2 imagine #cr imagine #fjord stone imagine #fjord imagine #fjord stone x reader #fjord x reader #fjord stone / reader #fjord / reader #campaign 2 imagine #critfic

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elionwriter · 3 years

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MY FAV STAR WARS COUPLE DYNAMICS:

(for the sake of this post let's all just pretend no one dies, ok?)

Anakin - Padme: their relationship started with pure drama and really bad, corny pick up lines and it just goes on that way. Even when they are happily exiled on Naboo with their children and everyone knows about them, whenever they talk about their love or tell the story to Luke and Leia it's always with the tones of a 'larger than life situation'. Obviously Anakin is the drama queen who really pushes it (and is still salty he had to give up his title as Jedi Master) but Padme fell for him when he did the whole whiny speech about sand and married him, she secretly supports this s***t! 😝

Han - Leia: bickering is their love language. Screaming to impose supremacy is their flirting. The thing is, they never bicker for serious stuff, because they actually agree on what matters and get along as a couple, it's the principle of things! Sometimes a friend of Ben overhears them and goes 😱 "I'm really sorry for intruding on this, pal. Will your parents be alright?" And Ben with the calmest expression will answer "They literally do this all the time". It's the silence that's worriesome. When Leia is just too tired to keep fighting after hours of doing so with politicians, when Han doesn't bother to stay to face the argument and just hops on the Falcon again, THAT'S when they realise they are falling out. So they push duty and lust for adventure aside to go back spending quality time together and patching things up. Sure enough, the bickering starts again and Ben is like "😌 aaah everything is fine again".

Din - Luke: they are the picture perfect couple. They literally never argue, at best they poke eachother when one of the two does something the other doesn't entirely agree on. They have each other's back in any instance, support every choice and are there for backup when others want a fight or have something to say either on Din's leadership or Luke's approach to the Jedi code and teachings. It took them forever to actually get together because they acted like shy teenagers on their first crush and Leia, Han and Cara had to practically push them into each other's arms, but once they got there they were solid a couple as a rock. Others look at them and think they are either disgustingly mushy or still in a 'honeymoon face', because NO ONE has such a stress-free marriage. Din and Luke truly don't get what the fuss and all the drama's about. So even though they end up practically parenting the space version of the kids from 'Cheaper by the dozen' they act like parental figures to their friends as well. Life as Manda'lor and the Reviver of the Jedi order can be hell, but together they are just balanced like that and can face everything! They even create a new co-op fighting style for Jedi/Mandalorians that becomes the terror and amazement of the Galaxy for centuries to come!😌😏💪

Kannan - Hera: very similar to Dinluke except they do at times have some small moments of tension because Hera is a fighter to the core and Kannan can't help but wonder if the battle will ever truly end. But his queen's passion and resolve is so bright and steeled that he can't help but fall in love a little more every time and follow, knowing it's the right thing to do. They have an example to set for their son, after all. Kannan will absolutely love Jacen and will introduce Ezra to his son (once Sabine and Ashoka bring him back) as his older brother. Much like when he trained Ezra or faced Sabine, Kannan will sometimes doubt himself and wonder if he's acting like a good parent to Jacen. Hera will smile and reassure him, describing to him the bright and happy smile on their son's face or how Jecen's nose scrunches and his long, greenish ears wiggle in delight whenever Kannan plays with him or cuddles him. As Hera says so, Kannan holds her and feels like he can actually see it too.

Sabine - Ezra: After Ezra is brought back to his family from wherever or whatever happened to him after facing Thrawn, both of them will just indulge in sudden hugs or touches to make sure the other is actually there. Of course, they first think of their bond as a solid friendship and camaraderie, because that's what it was when they left off. The extra touching is just the response to being apart for so long and being worried for each other. But then Sabine notices that Ezra actually looks really good with long hair and the scruffy beard he grew out. She catches herself thinking of how warm and safe if feels in his arms and mentally kicks herself because she's a Mandalorian, all she should need is a loaded blaster to feel safe. Ezra, on the other hand, starts playing with Sabine's hair when complimenting her new dye and suddenly finds himself cupping her face like it's the most natural thing in the world. Long story short, they fall for eachother hard and become the prototype of the couple "my boyfriend/girlfriend is my best friend". When they are comfortable with their new status, Ezra goes back flirting dorkishly with her like he did all those years back when they first met and Sabine will tease him by shooting his advances down.

Ashoka - Bo Katan: joke's on Bo-katan for cringing back in the day at her sister's relationship with a Jedi. She thought destiny or the force or whatever was really messing with her when she realized that her rival and pupil, Din Djarin, the new leader of Mandalorians was also falling helplessly in love with a Jedi (Obi-Wan's student nonetheless). When she hears Sabine Wren and her Jedi boy also got together she stops questioning it. The thing is that she herself has been inexplicably, undeniably charmed and hooked to a Jedi for years now. The very same Jedi she had teased didn't have enough booty, what felt like a lifetime prior. But she's Bo-Katan, she can be in angry denial about anything. Ashoka, on the other hand, has seen and has been conditioned too much on what attachment does to a Jedi, even if she doesn't consider herself one anymore. So, even if the chemistry between them and the long lingering stares are real, their love is always kept a quiet, unspoken thing. Whenever they call eachother "my old friend" they know they actually mean more, but leave it at that. Everyone around them can't help wondering 'are they a thing or...?!' but they never feed the theories and gossip. They know what they are and mean for each other when they are alone in the same room, talking about the past or what must be done in the future and Ashoka's mere presence is enough to cool down the ever-present burning rage inside of Bo. Meanwhile, the other can't help but admire how single minded and devoted to her people and culture the Mandalorian princess is, how she never gave up on them, despite everything. They smile softly at each other, then one of them breaks the spell by leaving. They go back to their own business and life untill destiny or the force or whatever brings them back into eachother's orbit.

Revan - Carth: normally they act very much like Leia and Han with the bickering and teasing bit but then Revan has one of her memories returning or is haunted by how she basically condemned her lifelong best friend Malak to a terrible death and Carth instantly does a 180° shift becoming the most caring, comforting and tender partner. She'll hide into his chest until the crisis in over. Sometimes it can go on for days and Revan is oh, so grateful of how patient and good Carth is to her. Then, at times, Carth is the one burying his head in her chest and she's the one doing the tender, hair strokes. Carth needs a lot of reassuring and might get upset and fret over even what appears to be a trivial thing. He's trying to heal and get better but the long, long years of solitude, hurt and paranoia are hard to iron down. Expecially when Carth seems to have an instinct that puts a Jedi to shame, foreseeing a crisis neither she nor Bastila had picked up. But he is making an effort to improve and she's proud of him, even as he tries very clumsily to patch things up with his son Dustil. She doesn't really step in that matter more than she has to, since Dustil is clearly not happy nor comfortable with the idea of them being together yet. Carth will sometimes open his heart to her and say something deeply meaningful on how he wants her to stay ( when she looks particularly haunted and about to leave without a work of warning) and be happy but does so with such awkward word choices that Revan just cannot refrain from laughing at his face and making puns. It's at this point that the back and forth teasing resumes. There is no denying they are still deeply wounded individuals and they are at their best when their friends are there to lighten the mood and show love to the both of them. Because they could easily go down the path of drama like Anakin and Padme but they choose the Ebon Hawk crew shenanigans instead.

Obi Wan - Satine: their love is stored in the memory of that glorious time they spent together in their youth. A moment in which no responsibility or sense of honor could keep them from giving in to that feeling of want and need for each other. It's a love that never truly went away, never left space for anyone else, but it never fully grew and bloomed either. So years down the line, that's what it is for Obi-Wan, a pleasant memory. He would never change how things went afterwards, but he wouldn't give up those memories and feelings for anything in the world. Satine feels the same, mostly. There are nights that she falls asleep wondering what could have been if only she had talked up at the decisive moment and dreams of a life spent together with Obi-Wan. But when she wakes up, she sobers up and goes back to her things. It's when she looks at her Korkie smile and notices how resembling to his secret father he is that she is truly at peace. She managed to keep a peace of Obi-Wan in her life.

Cal - Merrin: I have no idea for this one, but just stop and consider the possible 'nightsisters babies' though! Wouldn't they be the cutest things ever?! 😀

Sorry Cara Dune, you just haven't met the woman of your life yet. 😔

Also, I kinda like Zeb and Callus too but I don't really ship them enough to add them here, you know? Anyway I'm sure they make a lovely couple.

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skztalkergo · 3 years

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stray kids reaction: your ex shows up at the club

chan

kinda down to fight

this might be an unpopular opinion but i firmly maintain that while chan is not an alpha male, he does have alpha male tendencies

think that one video where he was pissed at staff and then he took off jeongin’s choker and it was super passive aggressive but also ~a little bit~ hot

so he definitely does the thing where he slides up next to you and puts his arm around you and is like “hey babe is this guy bothering you” but he lowers his voice by like 16 octaves and you’re like ??? ://

minho

minho = most intimidating member of skz when he wants to

goes for the clapback 110% of the time

your ex is going down - not with his fists - but with some weird but funny insult that’s over everyone’s heads

i’m talking air fryer at 180 degrees for 20 minutes

not naming names but some of the skz members are a lil skinny, lee minho on the other hand has the aura and the build to make good on his threats

i’ve never met him and he makes me feel ✨safe✨

changbin

lmao he’s pressed

turns tomato red and gets up in the guy’s face and will highkey start swinging if someone doesn’t intervene

i’m not calling him irrational but also he gives off machismo energy

joins the rest of hyung line in terms of having the biceps to make good on it tho

hyunjin

can i get 🎶a little jealousyyyy🎶

now you wanna talk about someone who’s Mad

i feel like hyunjin has the tendency to get kinda sensitive about stuff like this, so it’s gonna be a lot of you being uncomfortable and hyunjin standing there like 👁️👁️

obvi he’ll step in if your ex is a creep or trying to start something

in which case he just relies on being tall and ~towering~

jisung

you know, what would jisung do?

he’s serving kind of scared but would maybe fight if you asked him to

another 👁️👁️

he has lowkey tendency to shut down in high stress scenarios so like he might do so

he’s worried tho! priority is exiting the situation with all due haste

felix

perplexed. like, it upsets him, obviously, but this dude is a lover not a fighter

attaches himself to your side and looks generally clingy and suspicious until your ex takes a hint

another “let’s get out of here *cough cough*”

the deep voice can be a little intimidating but i’m not sure if he’s fully aware of that fact

at any rate, you’re gonna leave the club and he’s gonna be like “wow that was scary” and you’re gonna be like “wtf”

seungmin

now what i wouldn’t give to be with seungmin when my ex shows up in a club

he isn’t messing around, he’s pulling out all the stops, he’s glaring, he’s taking up an intimidating alpha male stance, he’s making occasional biting comments

actually you know what i think he wouldn’t even bother with all the theatrics if he was really mad, he’d just grab u by the arm and start marching away

jeongin

he’s laughing tbh

i saw a tweet one time that said jeongin is the most aggressively straight member of stray kids and now i’m laughing

but like, even if he is threatened he does not show it

sidles up next to you and gives your ex a once over and says something super bitchy like “really? him?” and now your ex is scuttling away in a huff

demands praise. he will not let you forget about this lmao

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids headcanons #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #changbin #hyunjin #han #han jisung #felix #seungmin #i.n #jeongin

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goodlucktkachuk · 4 years

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Frantic -- Matthew Tkachuk (Pt.1)

a/n: I’ve spent the past 48 hours reading fanfiction for this man, it is time I write something

Summary: Growing up around the game y/n has met too many hockey players to name but one of her brothers old team mates always held a special place in her mind. Running into Matthew wasn’t what she had in mind but maybe it was a good thing.

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: age gap

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Frantic was the only way to describe you on this cold February morning. Overtired from a frustrating night of painting, annoyed at your roommate and already stressed about tonight's game. As you manover your body through the streets of Toronto the air was almost too cold to handle. Not remembering a jacket or boots, it was just you, your coveralls over an old sweater and beat up vans dredging through the snow to the coffee shop around the corner. Your head was throbbing as you were walking but the streets were quiet for 7am and that was the only thing you appreciate about the day so far.

“Stupid pregame rituals, stupid Nick, stupid Emily reminding me I made a promise.” You grumbling as you throw yourself into the store, shuffling to the side knowing your mobile order would be up soon. Closing your eyes you bring your hands up to your face to relieve some of the from tension from your eyes you're met with the cold feeling of wet paint on your skin. This morning just kept getting better.

“Mobile order for Y/N!” The barista yells, snapping you out of your bitter attitude. You say a soft thank you as you turn on your heels, suddenly being met with the hard chest of the man standing behind you. As you pull away your face drops as you see blobs of black and blue paint where your face hit is white hoodie.

“Oh my god! I am so so sorry. Game day turns me into a mess, at least let me--” He cuts you off before you offer to pay for his drink. Looking up, you’re thrown off when you meet his eye. You haven’t seen Matthew in probably four years. He’s filled out, the curls on his head suit him and his blue eyes are still the same. A blush creeps over your cheeks of as memories of watching him practice and endless team dinners filled your mind. You wonder if he recognizes you but his words confirm that you are in fact a stranger to him.

His first statement is extreamly blunt for how early it is “You’re too much of a mess to work for either organization.”

You were a little thrown off. He scans you up and down before he continues. “Guessing by how young you look you’re probably a girlfriend so…” He drags the o-sound out for far too long making you giggle slightly then he keeps going “Which leaf will be paying for my hoodie in punches tonight?” His face twists into a wicked smile as he waits for a response.

Taking a deep breath you reply. “Technically, Nick Robertson… BUT I’m not his girlfriend nor is it his fault that your clothes are ruined. Plus I think my roommate would prefer I wasn’t the reason her boyfriend loses some of his teeth.” You voice trailed off near the end because the thought of that happening made your head hurt even more.

He stands there as you watch the gears turn in his head. In a moment of quick thinking you blurt out, “I’m a flames fan! If that makes this situation better.” Smiling slightly as he rolls his eyes.

Quietly he says, “Fine, I’ll let it slide… but I better see you in the stands in red tonight sweetheart.” He flashes you a wink as he reaches past you to grab his coffee and he quickly leaves you standing in the empty shop once again.

Dumbfounded, your phone begins to buzz in your pocket seeing your moms name flash across your screen. You groan internally and talk to her the whole walk back to the apartment as you replay your meeting with Matt.

-------------------

“Y/N are you ready yet!! We’re going to be late!” Emily screams from the living room as she adjusts her beanie for the millionth time and looks at Nick’s last in the mirror with a goofy smile.

You were standing in your room with two jerseys staring back at you. You couldn’t make up your mind between the blue and white #16 and the red and black #19. You knew the consequences of both choices and decide you could deal with Tkachuk’s bad attitude. Slipping the leaf jersey over your shoulders it swallows you whole but the hoodie you have on underneath makes up for that a bit. You pull on a black Nike ballcap, grab your bag and meet Emily in the living room. As she goes to ask you what the hell you are wearing you just shake your head and start for the door.

The guys are doing their big entrance into the arena as you and Emily make your way to your seats next to the penalty box. She’s scolding you the whole time about missing warmups and how she’ll be getting an earful from Nick later about being late. You zone out as you scan the ice for Matt. Unfortunately, he finds you before you can find him and a frown is glued to his face. Like you decided earlier, you will deal with him later.

The game was actually pretty good with the Flames winning in overtime. Matt shooting you dirty looks every time he was sent to the box which kinda made you laugh. Standing in the family and friends area, Nick is one of the first out, pulling Em aside to ask where you guys were and probably looking for support after the game. Leaving you fend for yourself. A few minutes pass and Matty is out now along with a few other leaf players who were hanging close by, you instantly catch his eye. Making his way over to you he puts his hand over your head and uses two fingers to lift your chin so you meet his eye.

“I thought I asked you to wear red tonight princess, you’re breaking my poor little heart.” He slides his tongue over his bottom lip, cocky grin never faltering.

Returning his energy you push up on your toes as you breathe on his neck “You haven’t seen what I’m wearing underneath this yet, handsome.”

Surprise covers his face and quickly turns into lust again. Before he can say anything you duck under his arm, running full force towards Mitch as he approaches. Opening his arms for a hug, you hurl yourself at him and he spins you around. As Matthew watches, jealousy burns in his chest as he approaches you to chirp Marner.

Before he has a chance to bite, Mitch starts laughing.

“I can’t believe you actually wore it, must been torture for you.” He ruffles your hair and you scoff at his antics.

“I swear you told her about the bet just so you could watch me in pain.” Your smile was so radiant as you laughed Matthew couldn’t help but smile too.

“I swear I didn’t! I just knew mom would want to know how your midterm piece went more than how I was feeling about a game.” Matthew was a few feet away still pretending to play on his phone as he listened to the two of you so he wasn’t sure if he heard Mitch right.

“Matty! I didn’t see you there, bring it in buddy!” Mitch called him over, bringing him into a tight hug. You stood there awkwardly watching the two old friends catch up when Mitch finally remembers you’re there.

“Oh hey, you remember my little sister Y/N from when you lived in London right.” The second the words left your brother's mouth, a look of horror crosses Matthew’s face. The last time he had seen you, you were fourteen years old. The Y/N he remembered was quiet and collected. Always had her head buried in a book at games and never really gave the boys the time of day because you were never interested in hockey when you were a young girl. But now you stood before him, a woman. You had dyed your hair, lost your baby face, got glasses and your style had done a 180. Standing in front of the two of you now, he didn’t realize how he could’ve missed the obvious resemblance between you and your brother.

Shyly you smile and say “It’s nice to see you again, Matthew.”

Still in shock he nods and says. “Still the same mini marnie for sure.”

After a bit more chatting Mitch decides it’s time for you guys to get dinner so you part Matthew with heartfelt goodbyes and ‘until we see each other again’.

Once you guys leave Matthew stays in place ordering himself an uber, thinking about what just happened. He feels a slight tap on his shoulder. Turing meets a not too happy Auston and he knows he’s in trouble. Going to apologize for stealing Austons stick he’s met with a very different topic.

“I’m just letting you know that Jake and I heard what you said to Y/N earlier and I want to remind you that she’s like a sister to all of us so you better watch yourself Tkachuk.” Matthew says nothing and simply nods because chirping Aus was dangerous territory especially when it involved family.

You were back at Mitche’s apartment after dinner to spend some time together. Or so he says, you knew he was just lonely because Steph was out of town. When he gets up to call her in between episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine it gives you a chance to check your phone. There were a few tags on instagram and a handful of snapchats you’d answer in the morning but one notification stood out against the rest.

Follower Request: matthew_tkachuk

Part Two

#matthew tkachuk #matty tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #calgary flames #flames imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #mitch marner #nick robertson #toronto maple leafs #auston matthews

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blesspastacraig · 3 years

Text

A Year in Review

I wanted to creat a list of sorts of everything I wrote in 2020, since I managed to do a lot.

Here’s my one shots:

Not Alone - Published 08 Jan 2020

"I keep telling you, I don't want to go" Craig complains as he burps one of his two newborn twin daughters. His mom, thankfully is burping the other. Craig knows he should be nicer to her but two newborns has him at the end of his tether.

"I know but I'm going to keep pushing you until you do" she says, swaying and patting Daisy's back.

or Craig and Tweek bond at a young parents group because they're the only two people with twins.

New Beginnings - Published 19 Feb 2020

Tweek doesn’t want to push her, so they’re both a little cautious of one another. Tweek doesn’t want to barge in and fill a role she hasn’t given him yet. She’s never had a second parental figure before, and Tweek doesn’t want to force himself into that slot. He barely feels worthy of being the father to his biological child, let alone a stepdad figure to this poor little girl who’s life he’s just invaded.

Or Tweek takes Craig's daughter to a daddy daughter dance because Craig is unable.

Love Chooses You - Published 29 March 2020

He's heard the phrase that you can't choose who you love before, and really, right now he knows it's true. Damien never would have chosen to love Pip of all people.

Rebuild - Published 11 May 2020

“I’m flying Craig!” Tweek cries from the top of the concrete slab. Craig doesn’t answer, only sighs. He sinks down knowing he’s gonna let it happen. He doesn’t want to let it happen but the alcohol has made him slow. Kinda in the same way the drugs have made Tweek fast. They’re out of sync with no way of catching up until sobriety. So Craig just watches, letting it happen. Like he’s watching his own body do nothing. The inner voice tells him to move, to stop it but the body can’t unstick itself from the ground.

Coming Out - Published 20 May 2020

If Tweek is being honest his friends were Craig’s friends, originally. Now they’re his friends too but before Tweek had been a bit of a loner. Not by choice, but for whatever reason kids at school either didn’t like him or just didn’t know he existed. He spent most of his time alone, reading books, studying, playing music or anything one can do alone to ease boredom. For the longest time he’d been the freak and now he actually had friends, like, for real.

Red Racer and Ice Cream - Published 12 June 2020

He could leave, but he knows Tweek will start worrying about him. Tweek is having a good night, he seems pleasantly drunk and is having a great time with Jimmy and Token. Craig doesn't want to wreck what is shaping up to ve a good night for Tweek. It's taken a while to get Tweek to really feel comfortable in social situations like these. He wants Tweek to have the best night he can.

Much Ado About Theatre - Published 15 June 2020

"It's in english stupid, just old english" Tweek reminds Craig.

"Whatever I don't get it. It's like reading gibberish" Craig says dismissively, clearly frustrated.

"Why are you -nghh- taking this class then?" Tweek asks, purely curious. It's not just Shakespeare Craig seems disinterested in. He seems uncomfortable onstage as a whole.

"Because you're taking it" Craig admits sheepishly, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

Sure - Published 19 June 2020

Craig gets his first piercing and Tweek accompanies for moral support. They talk about facing fears and the future.

or Tweek is covered with piercings and tattoos and Craig is a body mod virgin.

Firsts - Published 02 July 2020

Craig likes having a Birthday in the winter. It's kind of a good excuse for only inviting like, four people to his gatherings on the excuse they can't go outside. Craig was never big on the schoolyard politics, even when he was small. The idea that he had to have the biggest party, or the most extravagant and have to decide who or whom not to invite stressed him out. He likes having the excuse that he only had a small house, and that his Birthday was in winter in Colorado, so that he can only invite his best friends and be done with it.

or Craig and Tweek's first birthdays together as boyfriends.

Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Vasopressin - Published July 11 2020

Tweek sighs boredly as he stirs the potion in his cauldron. It's not that he doesn't like earning a living making potions for people and casting spells but it's so much of the same thing. It's always love potions, that's all he makes these days.

Distracted - Published 26 July 2020

Tweek and Craig needed this break so badly. He feels kind of bad for Craig's mom, who is probably going to have a sleepless night babysitting their son. But holy shit, they needed this.

Stir Crazy - Published 14 August 2020

Craig Tucker: Tucker baby coming 2020! We could not be more excited to announce that Tweek and I are having a baby! There's no one else I'd rather go on this crazy journey with. - with Tweek Tucker.

or Craig is pregnant in quarantine.

Source Decay - Published 16 August 2020

Craig still hasn't taken off his wedding ring. He knows he should, but he just hasn't found it in him yet. He knows Tweek hasn't either, he's seen it in pictures even though now they've been separated longer than they were together.

Baby’s First Skateboard - Published 10 September 2020

Craig and Tweek never really grew out of skateboarding. They do it less often than they did before becoming parents, but they still do their best to make time.

You’re the Boss at Home - Published 18 September 2020

So he has mixed feelings about his last day. He knows he'll miss working, he's always been a working person and he knows he won't like sitting at home waiting to go into labor. But also, he doesn't have to deal with everyone fussing over him being pregnant anymore.

Little Star - Published 03 October 2020

This can't be happening to him, he can't have a baby! What would he do with a baby? He doesn't know. He doesn't even know what he's going to do when he goes into labour. He knows, inevitably he will. That he will go into labour, the baby has to come out some way and it's gonna hurt. He knows all this, but he can't bring himself to ask for help. He knows he's in trouble but he doesn't know how to ask for help.

Baby Love - Published 02 November 2020

Craig tries to swallow down the pain. He can't yell or cry out. Everyone will know then. He has to stay quiet or else everyone will know. He bites down on his lip hard and crouches on the floor near his bed. He has to just breathe, if he breathes through it he can make it. He knows he can.

This Time Around - Published 12 November 2020

Tweek knew he was pregnant with his second child straight away. It was a 180 from his first pregnancy, where he took months to figure it out. When he was pregnant with his first child, his son Teddy, he didn't really have much in the way of symptoms besides being hungry all the time. That was pretty easy to dismiss and write off. They weren't trying for a baby, so Tweek had no reason to assume he was pregnant. He only worked it out because he began showing.

Whatever We Are - Published 22 December 2020

It's hard because Stan isn't quite sure what he is to Kyle. Is it just sex? Is it more? Does Kyle maybe wanna make it more official soon? Stan doesn't know. He knows he loves Kyle and he'd pretty much do whatever Kyle wants. But for now, he's just enjoying the intimacy.

Temptation - Published 24 December 2020

Being summoned is kinda annoying. It's kind of like being asleep, super deeply and then pulled into the bright bustling world with no warning. It's no wonder most demons are angry and violent.

Tweek is an imp, so he's more on the mischievous, poltergeist side of the spectrum. He still scares the shit out of most people who summon him. Usually kids with ouija boards who don't know what they're doing. It's whatever, Tweek usually chases them for a bit, makes them scream and that's enough mischief for one day. Tweek can choose to appear by choice, and leave when he wants to but he rarely does. Humans are mostly annoying, so he stays in his own little world until some idiot summons him.

Traditions - Published 25 December 2020

"I hate Christmas" Craig sighs, looking around at all the lights and decorations. He glares at all the people bustling around. Don't they have homes to go to? He rests a hand on his swollen stomach, he certainly wishes he was home.

Here’s My Multichapters, completed and ongoing:

The Sound of Silence - Completed 25 January 2020

15 Chapters

Craig manages to find himself alone, jobless and a new parent. He struggles to put the pieces of his life back together and build something new for both himself and his daughter.

Don’t Break Me - Completed 26 March 2020

2 Chapters

"What are you -ngrhh- accusing me of?" Tweek growls.

"Literally nothing Tweek, I'm accusing you of your health improving? Isn't that good?" Craig huffs in annoyance. He's sick of his intentions being misinterpreted.

Insight - Completed 10 April 2020

2 Chapters

Craig listens to the incessant ticking of the clock on his wall. He can’t actually see it, it’s night and all the lights are off. But he can hear it, a constant reminder of the passing of time. He knows he should sleep, he really wishes he could but it’s just too hard. Knowing Tweek isn’t here but not knowing where Tweek is. He can’t help but worry even though he has so much more to worry about. His mom would tell him off, tell him he needs to rest but this thing with Tweek has him so messed up.

When We’re Older - Completed 04 July 2020

10 Chapters

When they're older they'll start again. They'll get married, find a house, do it all right. Have children when the time is right and build the loving, nurturing home they both have always wanted.

Stowaway - Completed 14 July 2020

3 Chapters

He's slowly beginning to accept it himself, yes, he's pregnant. He knows it but he's not quite ready to face the consequences yet. He didn't intend to get pregnant, he just got too drunk at a party and had sex with a childhood friend. Consensual but unprotected. He feels stupid now.

So he hides them, the baby, like a little stowaway.

Algorithm - Completed 12 August 2020

5 Chapters

Craig shakes his head. He looks at the homemade bracelet which spells Craig on Tweeks wrist. His heart breaks thinking about how Tweek will cut it off once he knows the truth.

Two for the Price of One - Completed 26 August 2020

4 Chapters

Craig has never been one to succumb to baby fever. He knows a lot of people in his profession do. Both he and his husband, Tweek, professional lives revolve around babies. Newborns too, and while Craig acknowledges that babies may be cute, other people's kids have never really triggered some urge to have his own.

Hungry - Completed 11 September 2020

2 Chapters

Tweek has heard about cryptic pregnancies before. He's seen I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant before, people saying they didn't have any nausea, felt normal, didn't put on weight. This isn't quite that, Tweek gained a small amount of weight. He felt fatigued, but he just put that down to stress. He didn't feel nauseous unless he had a headache, so it was really easy to blame that on the headache. The real only symptom he's had is the hunger. He doesn't think it's far fetched that he didn't realise, surely?

or Tweek doesn't realise he's pregnant because his only real symptom is being hungry all the time :)

Creek Week 2020 - Completed 02 November 2020

7 Chapters

My contribution for this years Creek Week 2020

All seven of these are short snippets of either fics I intend to write, or AU's I have left unfinished. But I thought it might be fun to share small excerpts.

Complicated - Ongoing, Last updated 08 January 2021

18 Chapters Published, 20 Chapters all together.

Craig kind of has an image. It's not that he's pretending to be someone else, but he likes to be perceived as aloof, cold and quiet. He's nice to people who truly know him, but he doesn't like to be perceived as soft from the outside. People already think he's kind of weird, and putting up those walls really helps him to keep unwanted people out. His boyfriend sees his sensitive side, his friends do and his family do. The rest of the world gets a cold shoulder, at least until he gets to know someone and decides to let them in.

Craig and Tweek figure out an unplanned pregnancy, Craig learns families come in all shapes and sizes. Especially LGBTQ ones.

AO3 Statistics:

Word Count: 261512

Works Published: 31

Top Five Fics by Hits:

1. Complicated

2. When We’re Older

3. The Sound of Silence

4. Stowaway

5. Hungry

All in all, not a bad output. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read, leave kudos and comment. ❤️

#2020 masterpost #2020 roundup #2020 year in review #my writing master post #my fic #my writing #craig tucker #tweek tweak #craig tucker/tweek tweak #sp creek #creek sp #creek #south park #south park fanfiction

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astrologysvt · 4 years

Text

SVT & Crushes 💘

Anonymous said: HELLO! I HAVE QUESTION! So how do you think the members would act if they had a crush on someone? How would they go with it? It is Tooootallly fine if you dont wanna answer, ill still luv u :3

Seungcheol: this guy is gonna pull out all stops to try and get his crush’s attention thanks to that leo, and not even in a flirty sense. he just wants to show off and prove that he can take care of them due in part to his cap moon, as well. he sees every situation as an opportunity to prove himself even if it’s the most mundane thing ever. very affectionate, very talkative & thinks very highly of his crush.

Jeonghan: goes between being completely infatuated one moment, to totally in denial the next. he wants things to remain playful and light thanks to all that air, but then there’s this random part of him that comes out that’s so lovesick with that libra, mixed with the most random jealous episodes with that scorpio mars. that scorpio mars turns his attitude towards romance to all-consuming which is such a strong 180 from his usual, air dom self. very doting, playful but hot-and-cold with them.

Joshua: so awkward thanks to a mixture of his afflicted moon & how logical and practical his cap wants to be. does not know what to do with himself but is also incredibly sweet and thoughtful. will go out of his way to do things for his crush. he’s also the type to have a crush for YEARS on the same person thanks to that taurus influence. probs super affectionate, too! you can tell he’s into someone when he finds random excuses to touch them.

Jun: so playful, so attached, so affectionate. he’s a little less “play it cool” that’s implied with a gemini influence due to his taurus mars making him a less hot-and-cold. will come across a bit more flirty, and will do anything to make them laugh thanks to that mix of gemini and aries in him. probably says things and two seconds later is like “.... the f-” as he has random bursts of being forward and then gets SUPER flustered.

Soonyoung: gemini placements (especially in venus) have this hilarious habit of being super flirty and open with everyone EXCEPT for the person they have feelings for. so this guy may actually be pretty casual and cool, but he’ll go out of his way to find any opportunity to talk with his crush. and that leo rising means he’s going to do what he can to show off in front of them. may adorably tease them!

Wonwoo: similar to hoshi, he’s going to do what he can to come across cool and casual with his crush. will find any excuse to talk both TO them or ABOUT them. probs wont know what to do around them unless it’s bringing up a mutual interest/random topic. his leo means he’s probs gonna try and intellect/skill flex on them, but that cancer sun makes him so shy. he’s going to be reserved until he gets hints that they’re into him as well.

Jihoon: that scorpio sun makes him so stoic around his crush and will try and play it cool, even tho that placement also means he’s in deeeeep. his aries moon makes him so excitable around them -- he’ll try and make them laugh or maybe even show off around them. then that romantic libra venus is gonna make him freak out whenever his crush does something cute or talks to him. that aries mixed with virgo is also going to make him talk about his crush CONSTANTLY.

Seokmin: his aqua wants to play it cool, but then his cancer moon makes him so shy, then that libra mars makes him such a push-over in love as well. wont really do much to try and woo them, and if he does it’ll be subtle. will go out of his way to spend time with them, may it be a conversation or just an excuse to sit next to them. wont say his affection in so many words, but it’ll be clear how smitten he is due to how engaged and happy he is around them.

Mingyu: is a mess. will 100% embarrass himself in front of them out of clumsiness or just by getting flustered. is a mix of super shy and afraid of putting himself out there too fast thanks to that pisces moon, but that eager aries sun & venus makes him act despite his better judgement/reservations. wants to take care of them and dote thanks to that virgo. will be happy for eternity if he makes them smile. is probably pretty bold once he’s decided he wants a relationship.

Minghao: he wants to come across like he’s got everything handled and isn’t affected at all. he’s gonna seem indifferent thanks to that airy aqua moon and that scorpio making him not the most expressive with his feelings. that cap venus also wants to come across competent and cool, but his scorpio is gonna be sooo obsessed with his crush and that sag mars makes him so excitable/nervous around them. is pretty straight forward once he’s decided he’s over the crush phase.

Seungkwan: stressed! wants to come across like he’s in control of himself and has the “upper hand” thanks to that cap and aqua influence (even though he’s the one who is a mess). teases his crush relentlessly but is also going to wait on their hand and foot as virgo placements will do anything for their loved ones, no matter how out of their way it is. you can tell he has a crush on someone when they’re the primary target for his playful nagging.

Hansol: he’s so dense about it. it’s very clear he’s developed an interest when he’s super talkative with them and generally curious, and that scorpio moon means he’s probably constantly thinking about them to a degree. is totally caught staring at his crush all the time partially because he’s spacing out with that pisces mars, and partially because he’s smitten. will be the last to realize they are romantic feelings.

Chan: he’s gonna seem super bold thanks to that aries rising, aqua sun & sag moon. on the surface he’s very flirty, open, and forward with his crush and isn’t afraid to put himself out there. underneath that, though, he’s a lot more gentle with that pisces venus that just wants to be liked. then he has this scorpio mars that’s a lot more invested despite how cool/smooth he presents himself as.

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pale-cheezit · 3 years

Note

Can you answer every 5th question from your 216-question ask post? Thanks!

Girl you're killin me lol. I'm bored though so thanks for giving me something to do!! I know I'm really late posting this but oh well. Thanks for the ask :)

5) Book/series I reread?

My favorite author is Tana French and I've reread her books a few times. I've reread the book "The Shack" by William P. Young a few times as well. I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting right now.

10) The word that I use all the time to describe something great?

Probably fuck. As in, "that's fucking great" or "this is fucking awesome" or something like that lol

15) Last song I listened to?

Some new Five Finger Death Punch song that was on the radio

20) Favorite video games?

Probably New Super Mario Bros

25) Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?

Ooof... I can't think of any off the top of my head. I have some actors that I like that make me go "oh theyre in this movie, it might be good" but I don't think I ever really watch anything just because of a certain actor.

30) Eye color?

Blueish/greenish. Changes colors sometimes depending on what I'm wearing.

35) Am I excited about anything?

Not really.

40) What do I think about most?

I swing wildly between thinking about insignificant nonsense and everything I'm worried/anxious about (my very uncertain future and what to do with myself and mental health shit I'm going through) and I think about my loved ones a lot too!

45) Last film I watched?

The Hunchback of Notre Dame lol

50) How do I destress?

I'm pretty good at pushing things out of my mind when I want to or need to (a blessing and a curse) Also smoke weed. Idk, feels like I'm always stressed about something in the back of my mind.

55) Play any sports?

I don't anymore but I played volleyball for almost 10 years of my life. Good times. I miss those days.

60) Pet peeve?

People that put masks on their kids.

65) What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?

Friskies world from the cat food commercial of course

70) Can I sing?

I think I can sing ok. I'm not amazing but also not horrible.

75) Where do I want to live?

Away from people and traffic!!! I hate how close together the houses are in the suburbs. But I don't want to be so far in the middle of nowhere that I have to drive hours to get groceries. Idk, maybe I wouldn't mind that after awhile, I'd probably get used to it. I just want my own land and to be able to walk out the back door and have my own personal shooting range on my property.

80) Can I drive?

Yeah. Can't drive stick though. I should learn.

85) Favorite genre of music?

Rock

90) Favorite sporty activity?

Uhhh like walking or hiking I guess. Baseball definitely.

95) How tall am I?

5'7"

100) Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?

I have NO friends lol

105) Last person I texted?

My mom

110) Do I like selfies?

Eh sort of. If I'm feeling good about myself, I might take a few but that's rare for me these days. I like to take pictures of much more interesting things instead! Selfies are boring!

115) Favorite number?

8 I guess

120) Am I much of a daredevil?

Depends on the situation and the mood I'm in. I can be. We all got a little daredevil in us if we drink enough lol

125) The Beatles or Elvis?

Elvis

130) Favorite piece of advice?

Hmm....Anything Jordan Peterson says is usually great advice lol. But I guess simple things like be yourself, enjoy the small things in life, never miss a good chance to shut up, others can inspire and support you- but only you can save yourself, assume you know nothing, listen to your elders cause they know a thing or two about life (SOMETIMES)

135) Do I like gossip?

Eh not really. It depends. I know I'm guilty of it because that's all women be doin but you can definitely cross a line with that stuff and some people have issues with that and that shit can be annoying. it's definitely something I try not to do too much because I wouldn't want others to gossip about me behind my back

140) Do I believe people are capable of change?

I'd like to think so. I mean, I think its not ALWAYS the case. There's definitely people that wont or cant change but there's also plenty of people that are willing to put in the work and have changed themselves and their lives.

145) In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?

Bitch nobody could play me or my family better than me or my family

150) What is the best decision I have made in life so far?

I honestly don't know. I thought of a few different things and realized none of them were really decisions I 100% made for myself /: I've had a life so far that's been filled with other people making decisions for me. Kind of one of my problems I gotta work on. I guess I would say choosing to finally leave the shitty relationship I was in but he kind of left me in the end so it wasn't completely my decision. There's probably a bunch of small decisions I've made in the past that turned out great for me that I'm just forgetting right now.

155) Who is the most intelligent person I know?

I used to think my brother was because he was a genius child but then I grew up and realized there's a lot of different ways to be intelligent. I was gonna say Jordan Peterson but I dont actually know him lol. It's a hard question for me because I truly believe people are intelligent in so many different ways and Ive met many people that are smart in some ways but dumb in others. I guess my Dad would make the list if I had to pick someone.

160) What color mostly dominates my wardrobe?

BLUE

165) Do I believe in fate?

I think so. I think we can change our fate though too.

170) One of my favorite quotes?

"those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."- Ben Franklin

"unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality"- Emily Dickinson

I have a TON of favorite quotes, I could take up pages lol. Those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head.

175) Do I dream?

Yes, every single time I sleep. Even when I take a nap. I'm always dreaming.

180) Do I like shopping?

It depends on my mood and what I'm shopping for. Sometimes I'm in the mood to shop and I have fun with it but other times I'm not feeling it at all. I don't like spending money, it makes me feel guilty.

185) If I could master one skill, what would I choose?

Probably being an excellent shot. As skilled as Annie Oakley- if that's even possible haha

190) If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?

60s or 70s. Maybe the 20s.

195) Would I ever want to encounter aliens?

Fuck no. Definitely wouldnt be like some sci-fi movie. It'd be fucking terrifying.

200) Dragons or wizards?

Neither. Never been into either of those things. I also never got what the big deal about dragons is

205) Do I like my handwriting?

Yeah I suppose. Its very inconsistent. It goes from messy to neat to somewhere in between all in one page. Just like me lol

210) What is on my bucket list?

Travel. See the world. I dont have anything super specific but I definitely wish I could see all this world has to offer.

215) What is the weirdest talent I have?

I have no idea. I have no talent that I can think of. I'm sure there's gotta be something but I have no clue right now.

#me #asks #questions #about me

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val-bananatine · 4 years

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I watched latest Harley Quinn series episode and I.... just ahskdjsgsj

In all honesty I'm glad that what I guessed/feared would be the outcome didn't happen, but I do have mixed feelings about it. I'll put my own view and opinion about this here. So two disclaimers:

1.) I'm very much aware that this view is not shared by everyone, and that's great because I love to see different opinions on debatable things (eg favorite colors or characters. Human rights ain't debatable) and interpretations. So please keep that in mind.

2.)Spoilers ahead; continue at your own risk

That being said, let’s start! First off, what was my guess would be the season final?

In all honesty: I assumed that Ivy would continue to run from the inner conflict instead of facing it, and that she’d marry Kiteman to start her life of hiding and denial. And well- in the show she indeed was ready to do that.

Ivy’s got a problem with having a deep understanding of human emotions and it shows. When facing a stressful situation, the whole thing with Harley and cheating twice by then, she didn’t know what to do and she chose the first thing that seemd to be the way and comfortable solution: running away.

A lot of us have to admit that we too chose that way at least once in our lives, but it never solves anything; it only postpones the inevetiable while we believe that we’re acting for someone, for others or us. With hiding from the inner and outer conflict she was hoping that it will die out eventually, hoping that hiding from facing it will preserve hers and Kitemans happiness. She probably thought that she was acting in favor for him too, though hiding instead of communicating only makes the pain greater when it comes out, and protecting yourself from consequences is not exactly in favor for you too.

Yet I assume that was what she had hoped and miscalculated: She was clinging onto the hope that not facing it will let it die down, and that Kiteman will never find out like this, thus “Saving him from the heartbreak”. Good intentions with the priority to protect herself, but the absolute wrong choice to do.

Kiteman is - debatable. One may call him creepy for repeatedly asking her to be with him after she said no, he probably wouldn’t exactly be my friend either if he was real, but I hoped for the best for him. And that best was not marrying Ivy for me. To me the best was that he finds out, and that he can cut the ties to find the right one for him, the one whose heart is with him (We can’t blame Ivy for how her heart fell in the end, but it would have been nice if she was honest, if it was possible for her. which it wasn’t really, she struggled like hell).

That being said, I absolutely don’t hate Kiteman. I may be a Harlivy shipper, but I for sure don’t hate him. I don’t like the ship Kiteman x Ivy because in the end it wasn’t right for either one. That relationship was built on Ivy using it as a hiding place against reality and her conflict and on Kiteman’s hope for his happy ending, and later on for the hope that Ivy realizes her own conflict and stands by it.

She didn’t. She was so ready to continue hiding from it that he decided to step in with cancelling the wedding. It was the best for both of them. For him to get another chance at love, and for Ivy it was the cue to face reality, and that he will not let himself or a future relationship be used to hide and run away.

I’m... Not sure how exactly Harley x Ivy will work out. I favor it endless times to Harley and Joker, but it has its not so small flaws which can seriously damage the dynamics. I hope that the girls will manage to reflect themselves, this especially goes to you Ivy, and work on themselves to improve. As Ivy said, Harley is on a good way; she’s trying and messing up on the way, but trying is the key. I only hope that Ivy will try as well. Of course she won’t be perfect or make a whole 180° turn in a night, it will take a lot of time to improve and reflect - so that’s why I hope that she’ll start and try. She at least has to realize that hiding and denying will not solve anything in a relationship

#Harley Quinn #harley x ivy #harley quinn series #harley quinn season 2 #harlivy

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