#someday i will stop making everything about c&p i promise

[girlmetamorphed]

fyodor dostoevsky, crime and punishment

#crime and punishment #someday i will stop making everything about c&p i promise #but today is not that day #fyodor dostoevsky #raskolnikov #rodion romanovich raskolnikov #razumikhin #dostoyevsky

[fromtheo-withlove]

Pt. 5 - Not a fighter

Sorry for the delay! Life has been busy and honestly it took me a bit to get this chapter right. But here it is! The next chapter will be the banquet.....

TW: prisoner restrained in dungeon, death mention, light injuries, swear words

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Tag-list: @ihaveacrushonjester @tears-and-lilies @starnight-whump

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As she walked through the halls of the dungeons with the guard, Aurelia tried to mentally prepare herself to see Gabriel.

“Your highness, you should know… the guard on the shift before me, he roughed up this other prince a bit before I arrived.”

She stopped abruptly, whirling to face him with anger in her eyes, “Why? Was it done on my father’s orders?”

“Uhhh, no ma’am. And I will be telling Sir Robert. If I can be so bold as to speak freely, Hubert always picks on the weaker ones. But he shouldn’t be doin’ that to princes if the king doesn’t ask for it. The boy has been very cooperative.”

“He’s not a fighter,” Aurelia said softly.

The guard seemed eager-to-please and chatty. “I heard he was a medic. You knew him when you were kids, right?”

Aurelia just nodded.

“The enemy commander too?”

Her expression remained neutral, but she couldn’t help the edge creeping into her voice. “His name is Bennett. I do not wish to talk about this right now. Just bring me to Gabriel.”

“Sorry your highness, right away.”

Gabriel sat on the floor of his cell, back against the wall, ankle shackled to a long chain connected to the floor. His wrists were shackled in front of him and he had his arms wrapped around his knees. There was a new bruise on his cheekbone, the purple in stark contrast against his pale skin.

The light of the lantern illuminated his wide, frightened eyes. He stared at the door, blinking in the light and trying to see who was holding the lantern.

When his eyes adjusted, he finally saw Aurelia and sighed in relief. “Y-you’re here. You came.”

Aurelia turned to the guard, “You can go now, I can find my way back.” He hesitated for a moment before nodding and heading back down the hallway.

She focused her attention back on the young man sitting in front of her. “Of course I came,” she said sadly.

Gabriel’s eyes were already filling up with tears. He sniffled. “It’s so good to see your face again.”

“It’s good to see you too, but I’m so sorry it’s happening under these circumstances.”

Gabriel nodded. “Me too… Earlier, when I was dragged in and I thought I was about to-“ he paused. “I thought it a cruel twist of fate that I’d be dragged all this way and not even be able to see you before they—you know.”

He couldn’t even bring himself to say it aloud, to acknowledge that death was looming over him, that he had already nearly faced it.

She didn’t know how to respond. Aurelia couldn’t get the image out of her mind, of Gabriel blindfolded and panicking, desperate for air as the guard choked the life out of him. She felt nauseous even remembering it. She sat down and grabbed his shackled hand between hers. He was trembling. He grasped her hand, holding tightly as if they were a lifeline.

“It was terrifying facing it like that. And you’d think that it would bring acceptance, in a way. That I faced it once and I’ll face it again…. And everyone faces death someday, I know that….. But I can’t help it, I’m still so fucking afraid to die.”

She stared at the floor, staying silent. It seemed words were failing her now. She had handled the conversation with Bennett without losing her nerve – she had argued with him, taken care of him like she always had, bantered back and forth. But a minute with Gabriel and she was already crumbling inside. He didn’t deserve this. And he was sitting here, wearing his emotions on his sleeve – openly terrified, yet genuinely happy to see her. She felt a swell of guilt in the pit of her stomach.

“This isn’t fair. You shouldn’t be sitting here in a fucking cell, having to have this conversation.” Tears flowed down her cheeks.

He squeezed her hand, tried to put on a strong face. “I know…. But life hasn’t been fair for anyone these past few years. So many lives were lost. All of them were just as human as I am. I’ve been pushing for peace for years…. I didn’t want to have to die for it, b-but at least I’m not dying for nothing, right?”

Aurelia pulled her hands away angrily, “No, you do not need to die for peace. I cannot lose you and Bennett like this. The war is over already, this doesn’t need to happen.”

“Hey, Auri, please don’t be mad at me…” he whispered desperately, the strength in his tone fading. “I don’t have a choice in this remember? I- I’d like to think I’d choose the right thing if I had been given the choice…. but it doesn’t matter anyway.” His voice was breaking. “I may as well have something to- to hold onto, you know?”

Aurelia put her head in her hands. This was the second time she had let her anger at the situation impact her friends. She needed to calm down for Gabriel’s sake. “No, I’m so so sorry Gabriel. You know I’m not mad at you, how could I ever be? You’re facing all of this and you’re literally comforting me… I’m sorry.”

She reached for her bag. “I just want to be here with you, make things easier if I can. I brought you some food. I brought ointment for Bennett but I don’t think it’ll do much for your bruise. Next time I’ll try to sneak down a blanket, I’m sorry I didn’t think of it.”

“You saw Bennett?” Gabriel’s expression grew pained. “How- How is he? You know he didn’t kill those innocent people right? He wouldn’t have.”

“I know. I didn’t believe it either. I talked to him about it. It was his men. They took over his command and he didn’t stop them, but he didn’t know they’d go so far. They were plotting to kill him and they threatened your life as well. He blames himself of course, feels he should’ve done more and realized what they were doing sooner. But the only thing that would’ve changed is that he’d be dead on a field somewhere while they pillaged villages. And you might’ve been as well.”

Gabriel nodded. “The soldiers weren’t fond of either of us. They felt we were soft and not true Lianharians since we grew up here for so much of our lives. My father knew it too.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed and he shook his head. He didn’t get angry often but when he did it was that much more potent, and deserved. “My father didn’t even care that he was throwing Bennett into the lion’s den. He never liked me much, but he knew he had a back-up heir if Bennett couldn’t survive the war or his own army….. My only solace is that he’s probably more distraught than we are right now.”

His voice grew sarcastically dramatic, with bitterness seeping through every word. “His precious bloodline, gone! Everything he worked for, lost! Defeated in a war he started, the shame! Oh, and his only sons would be dead – eh, it was a pity, but they did always take after their mother.”

Aurelia knew the imitation sadly wasn’t far from the truth. “I still don’t know how he played any part in producing two of the best human beings I know.”

The conversation grew silent for a moment, then Aurelia continued. “Bennett’s doing alright, all things considered. He was mostly just worried about you and blaming himself for getting you into this.”

“It’s not his fault, you have to tell him that. This is on our father.”

“And mine,” Aurelia muttered.

“That’s true,” Gabriel said quietly. “I know he’s a king and we’re the enemy now, but I didn’t think he’d be so… cruel. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to get through this Auri.” Gabriel’s tears started up again, and he was more visibly shaking. “I’m not strong and brave like Bennett.”

“You are strong and brave, you fought for peace.”

“I wrote strongly-worded letters. Diplomacy and philosophy were all I had to bring to the table and I failed.”

“You treated soldier’s wounds, brought medical supplies, protected people.”

“Treating someone else’s injuries isn’t going to make me any stronger when wounds and injuries are inflicted on me. I’m weak. And scared. Bennett always shielded me from that side of things. Protected me. I can’t even take a punch, Auri. Now I’m going to be what, whipped? Beaten? C-cut?” His breath quickened and tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

“All I can hope is that I’ll p-pass out o-or die quickly.” He let out a sob, as if only now remembering that the best case scenario would be death before too much torture.

Aurelia took Gabriel’s face in her hands gently, wiping his tears away. “Gabriel, please listen to me. I can’t promise anything and I don’t want you to get your hopes up, because we’re facing impossible odds. But I am trying so hard to figure out a way to get you out of this mess. I know it’s a lot to ask, but please, please, try to stay alive. Don’t give up on me just yet.”

His eyes were red from crying and still filled with fear, but they widened at her words. “Do you really think there’s any chance we make it out?”

She hesitated. “I still don’t have a plan… And I understand if you can’t put faith in that right now. But I swear I’m not going to just sit by and do nothing while the two people I care about most in this world are going through all of this. So there has to be a chance.”

He nodded in understanding. He knew he’d probably die in this castle, but he wouldn’t give up if Aurelia was asking him not to. “Thank you, Auri, for even trying… I’ll try to survive as long as I can. For you and for Bennett.” Suddenly his eyes flashed with concern, “But please promise me you won’t put yourself in harms way trying to help, it’s not worth the risk.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me,” she said confidently.

He looked reassured, not noticing that she hadn’t made any promises.

After a moment of silence, she opened her bag, bringing out a bread roll, an apple, and a canteen of water.

“I made Jasmine tea for you. It’s cold and I’m not sure if it’s your favorite anymore, but I thought maybe you’d like it more than the water they have down here….?”

His cheeks flushed and he smiled. “It’s still my favorite. I can’t believe you thought to make me some. Thank you so much,” his voice caught on tears. “Ah, I’m getting emotional again, I’m sorry. Now that I’ve started crying it’s so hard to stop.”

“You don’t have to apologize Gabriel.”

He paused, then looked to her hesitantly. “You’ve done so much already, but can I ask for something else?”

“Anything.”

“I’m beyond grateful for the food and will eat all of it, but can I wait until after you leave? I was hoping…. I was hoping that while you’re still here… you could just hold me for a bit…? I know it’s a ridiculous thing to ask, I just n-need a kind touch right now and-“

“Shhh… I have some time.”

Aurelia set the food and tea aside, and moved closer to Gabriel. She wrapped him in a hug, one hand on his back, one hand running her fingers through his hair. He sank into her embrace, readjusting to rest his head in her lap. They stayed like that silently for a long time, with Aurelia gently rubbing Gabriel’s hair and shoulders. She eventually saw his breathing slow and realized he had fallen asleep. It was probably the closest he’d had to a peaceful sleep in days. She watched his chest rise and fall slowly. She knew she couldn’t stay too much longer, but she couldn’t bear to wake him back up to reality just yet.

She didn’t want the stillness of the moment to end either. It was surreal to have him close again after so many years apart. When Gabriel and Bennett had first returned to Lianhar, she and Gabriel had written letters for as long as they could, first sharing concerns about whispers of conflict and then desperately trying to slow the indomitable force of war from both sides. Eventually their letters stopped when delivering a goods or messages across kingdoms had become an act of treason and even smugglers had moved their businesses elsewhere.

Bennett was her best friend and the person who understood her better than anyone, but Gabriel inspired her and made her want to be a better person. It was the words in his letters that had gotten her through the worst of the war. She turned to them over and over when things grew difficult. They were her crutch when her mother died giving birth to her baby brother two years ago, when she felt completely alone in the world. She knew that Gabriel had probably long since forgotten those letters from the early days of the war, but they meant the world to her. And now, looking down at Gabriel sleeping, she mentally vowed to herself that she would do everything in her power to take care of him and protect him, like he had done for her without even realizing.

Although it pained her to do so, Aurelia gently shook Gabriel awake after a half hour or so. He stirred slowly at first, but she saw the moment when he opened his eyes and remembered where he was. He sat up, cheeks red. “I’m sorry that I fell asleep, I- I just haven’t been able to sleep much… Thank you for staying with me.”

“I’m glad I got to be with you for a little while. Thank you for letting me visit. I’ll come whenever I can, and if it’s during a day shift I can even bring a book or two.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you Auri.”

She gave his hand one last squeeze before she stood up to leave.

“Stay strong Gabriel, I’ll see you soon okay?”

She walked out of the cell door before she could hesitate, knowing that she needed to get back soon, though also knowing she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. She didn’t want to think about the next time she’d see Gabriel and Bennett, at tomorrow’s banquet.

---

Next chapter

#whump #royal whump #prince whump #comfort #hurt #fear of death #tension #physical comfort #fear #crying #dungeon #prisoner of war

[i-need-air]

Hawks Fluff Alphabet.

So I wrote this because I was bored, thought it was fun and it ended in 2,4k words. Casually. No biggie. Just chillin here. I think it's been done a million times already bUT have aNotHer oNe.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Lazy days together are the definition of perfection for him. The domestic vibe those days have make him belong somewhere. For a hero that's been forced to have a one track mind to now have this intimacy plus on these days he gets some rest with his significant other... Perfection.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your face and your expressions. He studied people for so long that he's a natural at it and when it comes to you, it's all so comforting. Your smile; the way your eyes sparkle, small wrinkles at their corner, the sweet curving of your lips. Your blush; cheeks flustered, you denying it, head turning the other way, pouty face depending on how he teased you. Your frown; determination in your orbs, the clear need to argue written all over you. Your concentration face, your daydreaming face, you...

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

If you're feeling down he takes his compliments a step higher yet his voice gets softer. It lacks the teasing edge it normally has. Attempts to cook, fails, brings you take-out. Tries to make you smile all the time, mostly by being a dumb chicken or by being cheesy.

If you're having a panic attack/are depressed, he's attentive and listens to everything you have to say. Is there to support you and will try to give you a hand, just tell him when you're ready to take the step. Hugs and full of sincere love.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Has always dreamed about a big family, even if he's actually terrified of the idea. He had a disfunctional upbringing, filled with poverty, alcohol and arguments and then he has been thrown into a life of basically military training from a very young age. He wants stability, he wants his chance to find love, enjoy a normal person's life, go on casual dates, sing in the rain, get married, have kids... the image of being called Papa crosses his mind. Getting old, having a big house filled with warmth. Hopefully someday you'll allow him that. But first he has to allow himself have it.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Goes with the flow? Sometimes he takes the wheel, sometimes you do. He doesn't think one has to be more dominant than the other. Always asks and considers your opinion about things.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Hmm. Fights happen, sure, but rarely since he's one to stop and track back once one starts. He likes to communicate the problem from the very beginning. Once a fight does step out of hand he over-explains things, which can get very frustrating. He wants you to see his side of the story too so he'll need some acknowledgement from your part before willing to listen more too. He's not stubborn but expects to be heard too. If it gets too much, you both have to decide to cool off and talk later. Keigo is easy at forgiving because in that time he considered your point of view and hopes you're willing to discuss things calmly. Although these type of fights almost never happen. More like arguments with Facts™. He does not shout. He won't relive his childhood, he's better than that.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Very verbal about it with a teasing edge. Loves to hear how you indeed wanted to, for example, pamper him. Appreciative of every small thing you do for him since he's not used to people caring about him on a personal level. Even the fact that you ask him how was his day, how is he feeling, so on, makes him thankful.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Before the LoV he wouldn't tell you about his missions when they were on-going, but afterwards he'd slip some juicy details casually. Makes you pinky promise to not spill things but actually does keep stuff to himself. Yeah, you get some exclusive details, specially if he gets hurt and tries to make you feel better. Keeps stuff that could bring harm to you. Doesn't tell you about the LoV, just promises you he's always going to be there, so don't question when he dissappear for a few days. Trust him, please.

About casual things, gossip and other stuff he's an open book. "So I was casually flying while on duty and you won't guess who I saw kissing who... 👀"

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You made him belong somewhere. I mentioned it before but he has a reason to go home, a reason to look at the phone without expecting the Commission on his ass or a "friend" that only cares about his status. He's got that's tranquility he craved.

He will always encourage you to be your best self in a way or another.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Doesn't get overly jealous but might be insecure at times. Maybe you deserve better, someone who has the time to be there for you, someone that might not die the following day... If he sees someone getting close to you and with intentions clear of pursuing you, not just flirting, he'll get into that mentality. A tiny spark of possessiveness awakens in him but remains casual and laid back.

This is one of the concerns he doesn't voice straight away to you but will, eventually. Just tell him he's all you need.

If the person just flirts with you, Keigo knows you can handle yourself. Will step in if you're uncomfortable and will, without a doubt, make that person 10x more uncomfortable. He does trust you completely, even if the insecurities get to him at times.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Oh, yes. His kisses range from sweet to needy and even the smallest peck has passion in it, which you can see in his eyes afterwards.

Your first kiss was after a date, something casual as he tried his best to do it right, you know? At your front door when he dropped you off after a full date of trying to be being a gentleman, he waits for you to lean in as a signal, but he couldn't help himself to interrupt your sweet goodbyes. "Can I kiss you, dove?"

Slow, sweet, he breathes you in as he encircles your frame in his arms. One of his favorite memories and also his favorite kisses.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

People consider him flirty but he's just good at compliments. With you in the picture? Now that's Hawks actually flirting. And it was supposed to be his way of telling you he's very much interested. And he's smooth.

Overall decides to be casual yet serious about it. When he finally gets time alone with you he just tells you he's really interested and would love if you wanted to grab something to eat that same night. As a date.

The first "I love you" is quiet, he stops what he's doing and just grabs your wrist gently, looking into your eyes. It does take time to process the emotion and to assure himself it's okay to say it. Does confess at a random time but soon you learn he just really couldn't hold it in anymore. After the first one he never stops saying it. Makes you wonder if he's a chicken or a parrot.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Ultimately, yes. I already went through it before, he dreams of that.

After the LoV ordeal and when everything settled, he'll be ready to do it. It somehow taught him that life is short and he needs to take the wheel in this one. He has many scenarios in head but goes to a simple night out, renting the top of a building, preparing it with a single table in the middle of it. Lights, flowers decorating everything. Personal chef, beautiful view. And a ruby engagement ring.

[I made a whole post about married Hawks, check that out 👀]

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Dove, love, angel... And then some very cheesy ones. All the cheesy nicknames actually. All of them.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It depends on who he's with. If he's with people he trusts, which are not many, he'll be talking about you all the time. Proclaims he's in love, doesn't care. His smiles are more sincere and if you'd known him for long enough you'd see how he didn't have such a weight on his shoulders.

Clearly won't go proclaiming it to villains, so there's that. Is very careful about mentioning you to the Commission too, he's worried they'd use you against him. They do know you're together but that's all they need to know.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

C'mon, shy away from kisses? Keeps it lowkey from the media but apart from that? Who can deny you some smooches?

You met his friends, all being heroes like him, and you both are officially The Couple™. You know what I'm talking about.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

His ability to read people and his honesty about it made you avoid some harmful "friends" that came your way. Know that he just means the best when he mentions something.

On a more casual level, his feathers bringing you both stuff from the kitchen while you lazy around in the couch is just 10/10.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Ok, this boy is somehow a romantic but a dumb romantic. Likes clichés but with his twist, mostly humorous.

Brings you little things that reminded him of you, it's his thing to prove that you're always on his mind even if he's far away.

"No, baby, don't leave me! I love you... I can't live without you!" while grabbing you close as you were to leave.

"Keigo. I'm just going to work."

... or...

"Love, there's a storm, let's make out in the pouring rain."

"Did you just wake me up at 3 A.M. to–"

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Definitely. He likes to encourage you to do your best and if he can help somehow, he will. Sees so much potential in you. Will be your personal cheerleader.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Balances it. Does enjoy some structure but with you he learned he can also let go, so don't be surprised when he grabs you one day and takes you to a random carnival or something. Is bummed because he can't be as spontaneous as he wanted because of his fame, but it's okay, he can bring the spontaneous at home.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Observant man as he is, Keigo knows you pretty well. Which is okay actually, he wants to know you as much as possible and loves growing and maturing with you.

Listens to you and considers what you have to say and believe me, your words mean a lot to him.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

When he got so attached to you he tried to separate himself from the thought of a relationship but just as he started the process he also stopped instantly. Hawks knew you were important from the moment his heart ached to be near you and that feeling remains to this day.

Loves you. Just... Loves you. You're so important in his life it actually scares him. Because life is also unpredictable, his job specially. Many people hate him...

It's a thought that invades his mind frequently. He's past the point of backing out, so what he needs to do is to protect the most precious human being he's ever known with all his power.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

I don't know why but I feel he's a very artistic person. As in he draws and has a small sketchbook in his jacket all the time. And many pages are filled with drawings of you.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Dumb romantic chicken loves the affection and the attention that comes with it. Give him both. Drop everything you're doing and give him love, damnit. Hugs are a must; his chin on your shoulder watching you do something; his head in your chest as you play with his hair; sit on his lap and smooch his face while he just hugs you tight. Skin contact is very important to him and I think it's his actual love language.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Pouty and an attention whore although nobody notices. Once he gets the time, he texts you how much he misses you. He's very vocal about it so expect 17 texts in a row telling you. All written the same minute. Guess what happens 5 minutes later? 20 more texts.

Just give him a call already. That's when you hear him pout about it. Loves hearing your voice but if you're far apart for too long he will ruin a cute romantic moment with an innocent "So what are you wearing?"

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

It might sound crude but him being in a relationship with you while the world is basically on fire is enough saying. He can't let you go anymore. He doesn't think he ever was after landings his eyes on you. Will fight for this relationship and promised himself to protect you from danger.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #hawks x reader #noire writes #bnha headcanons #bnha #mha #hawks #takami keigo #keigo takami x reader #Fluff alphabet #Bnha fluff alphabet #Bnha alphabet #Hauwuks #Please tell me you didn't read that 👀 #Shout-out to my self indulgent ass #Hawks alphabet #Hawks fluff alphabet

[vivalaluciforever]

Everybody x Reader - Part One (Angst Warning)

Everybody knew what would happen. Everybody knew it would come. Of course, the end would come. The end is inevitable, but they never thought that it would come this fast. The end of the exchange program was here, and it was time for everyone to go home. Here are some background (inner) thoughts and feelings.

Lucifer:

It feels like a dream. The poor guy can't get a break. He feels like it's his duty to... subtly... hold everybody together. Top all of that off with the fact he's overworking himself to keep his mind off of you. Bad situation. His sleep schedule has once more declined, to a point that is even worse than it was before you left. He constantly sees, hears, and relates everything to you. He has always been hyper-vigilant of everything and everybody in the house. It made him feel like he could be in control and protect everybody, and you were no exception to the rules (well, you almost always were but he digresses). "(Y/N)... no... come back. I'm so sorry for everything. Please come back. You're the only one who I can truly love and trust. My pride is nothing when you're around. You are my walking pride, my love. Please come back... come home."

Mammon:

He's absolutely stopped in his tracks. He can't even comprehend that you're gone, and when he finally does it's not pretty. Lots and lots of tears. The house is going to be barren of kleenexes for a while. He goes out almost every day and gambles away what little he does have, but he doesn't care. It's something to do outside of the torture of the House of Lamentations. He also has a habit of getting himself drunk, and subsequently getting himself yelled at by Lucifer. His only comeback was that he couldn't handle the loss, and surprisingly Lucifer put a blanket around his shoulder and gently told him to go and sober up. "Nonononononononono! Stay! There's no need for you to go home! Isn't this your home too? Don'tcha wanna stay? We had so much fun! We can continue to have fun! Just... p-please... don't a-abandon me like everyone e-else."

Leviathan:

Levi's first reaction is to lock himself in his room and go into full denial. Eventually, he lets the cold exterior melt off and his true colors became fully transparent. Much like his brothers, he submerges himself in his activities: video games, comic cons updates, and other otaku-related things. He doesn't leave his room for days on end, and when he does it's only for food and water. He's jealous of every human who even gets to see your beautiful face in the human realm, but his biggest regret is never going out and doing anything with you. Even his precious Ruri-chan can't do anything to ease his heartache. "I-I don't c-care. Y-You're just a n-normie. It d-doesn't m-matter. I have p-plenty of friends o-online. I-I don't n-need y-you. I-I... need you. Please! Please! C-Come h-home! I-I still don't k-know so m-much about you. I-I should have been l-less selfish. I should have t-tried to g-get to know y-you b-better."

Satan:

(Goes into his bedroom and throws a major tantrum.) Basically, this man just lost his anger translator and when that happens... bad things happen. Once more Lucifer finds himself on the receiving end of pranks, but not normal pranks. His pranks become harsher, his anger showing through them. He has also raided the bookstore more times than Beel raided the kitchen fridge in the past year. Which is definitely an impressive feat in and of itself. You'll find that his precious book pages are covered in teardrop stains. You taught him to love, to be truly calm, and so much more. Please, bring back the anger translator for everybody's sake. "Come back, please? You're the eye of the hurricane. The calm. Please... come back. Please? We can do anything you want. Anything! I'll never deny you another walk. We can go wherever you want! Just please, come back."

Asmodeus:

Sad. Break. Up. Songs. So what if the boy didn't break up with her, the same general gist. Girl leaves boy, boy can't see girl, and ta-da it feels like a breakup has occurred. The boy doesn't party. He doesn't do his skin routine (which absolutely no one can tell), and he acts like he is an insomniac (fully evident in his overly sassy behavior). Basically, not like the Asmodeus, everybody knows. He wishes you would come back so he would have his spa, manicure, and pedicure buddy back. "(Y/N) you made me feel beautiful, inside and out. Come back. I promise I'll always tell you how beautiful you are. You are the most gorgeous being alive, even more than myself. Please... come back... I'll treat you like a princess. I p-promise."

Beelzebub:

Poor baby boy isn't hungry. He doesn't eat, except when forced. His workout routines skyrocket from an hour and a half to over three hours. If he's not working out then he's either crying, laying with Belphie to feel some semblance of peace, or at sports practice. Most of all, he misses your sweetness. You always could work out any situation, and even better you kept the peace and happiness of the house alive. "Please (Y/N), come home. Come back to your family. We... I need you. We can hang out just like the good old days. Get food, snuggle with Belphie, fall asleep watching movies, and more. Whatever you want, just name it. Just... come home to us, to me."

Belphie:

He honestly wonders if he kills everybody up there that you know if you'll come back to them. Just a thought. (Might want to text Beel a thank you for saving your family's lives.) He is very annoyed and confrontational about everything and everybody, except Beel. He wants to sleep to escape, but then he dreams about you. Then he wants to stay awake, but he's just so tired and things, places, and certain things constantly remind him of you. Basically, he is losing his precious sleep cause of you, but he isn't annoyed at you. He's just lonesome for you. "Mmmm... Oh, it was just a dream. (Y/N) isn't really here. Please come back. You would scold me for being so harsh, heh. Please come back... starlight."

Diavolo:

Big man = big heart. Almost chose to permanently kidnap you, but decided against it. He knew you were terribly homesick for your own family and friends, and just your world overall, so he let you go. After watching the brothers tearfully leave the meeting room of RAD, he too went home. He ordered Barbatos to leave him be and went into his room. He cries. He never got to tell you how much he cares for you, seeing as the brothers were always around, but now it was by far his greatest regret. He cries so much that he has puked before, and he very guiltily had to ask Barbatos for help with everything. He is a wreck. "Thank you for joining my adventure. I wish I had had the courage to ask you to join me on another. Maybe someday our paths will cross once more, but till then I will spend every waking moment thinking and dreaming of holding you close to me."

Barbatos:

This man is calm on the outside. Internally he is dying. He misses his son. He misses Luke with his whole being, and he misses you with his whole being. Barbatos will be in the kitchen and start talking as if you and Luke were present. He misses the gentle way you talk, or the way your head would pop in no matter what he was doing and ask if he needed help. He can't help but give in to the sadness that he already knew was coming. He tried so hard to prevail through it, but even he isn't indestructible. He dives into cleaning, making the meals, and helping the struggling Young Lord. He asks for more and more tasks, and more and more tasks are granted. He works constantly. On the occasion that he does get some rest, he is so tired that he blacks out and doesn't even dream. Those can only go so far though, and he constantly wakes up with a sense of barely getting any sleep. "Someday. Someday I'll see you again. Till then I will anxiously prepare for your next stay. Please come back soon."

Simeon:

Upon returning to the Celestial Realm, the poor angel was quite conflicted. Part of him deeply missed his original home, but part of him misses his exchange home. More specifically, a certain exchange student. He wishes he could see you once more, and the ache in his heart greatly attests as such. How he wishes to wrap you up in his arms. You would always tell him how great his hugs were, and now he misses the contact and loving warmth that you always radiated and gave. "Be safe (Y/N), for I cannot protect you while we are so greatly separated. Regardless as such, I will keep an eye on you and pray for your safety and well-being. I look forward to the day that I get to hug you close once more, my dear."

Luke:

Luke. Misses. The. Devildom. Phew! There he admitted it. He yearns to be in the kitchen with Barbatos, running through Purgatory Hall, and Beel taste testing his food (even if he ate it all). He, however, would never admit to such out loud, but he has a suspicion that Simeon can relate to how he is currently feeling. He wishes he could have taken you to see the Celestial Realm, but he knew that that is forbidden. Luke is constantly baking, that way he has something to do. Something to distract him from everybody that he is missing. Sometimes he'll start to talk as if you or Barbatos were in the room before remembering that you weren't there. That you were back in the Human Realm, and Barbatos the Devildom, both of which are very far away from him. "(Y/N)! Oh, heh, right. Not here Luke. Don't be stupid. Wait! Don't you worry (Y/N)! I'll practice till my baking is so good that nothing will be better in your eyes! Just wait! You'll love it when you try it!"

Solomon:

Man isn't really that sad. Magic, check. Your address, check. What is there to be sad about? He does miss being so close to Asmodeus and is peeved that he missed his chance at Lucifer's pact, but other than that he is perfectly fine being back in the Human Realm. Ok, so, he maybe misses Simeon and the Chihuahua a little bit, but it wasn't permanent and he was fully aware of that when he signed on. "Hey (Y/N)! I'm outside your door! Let's hang out for a bit! I'll make you some dinner! (Y/N)! What was that scream? Oh, a bee by my ear, I see. Takeout? Sure, save us both the trouble." (You screamed at the thought of his cooking. There never was a bee, to begin with.)

Someday... the thought that keeps them all going. Someday, they'll see you again.

#lucifer #luci #mammon #leviathan #levi #satan #asmodeus #asmo #beelzebub #beel #belphegor #belphie #lord diavolo #diavolo #dia #barbatos #barbs #simeon #luke #solomon #avatar of pride #avatar of greed #avatar of envy #avatar of wrath #avatar of lust #avatar of gluttony #avatar of sloth #angels #demon prince #demon butler

[that1normalkidd]

Monsters Don’t Need Hearts Part 12

*WARNING*

*SMUT*

It was the tenderness of his touch, the coldness of his skin which stimulated the deepest parts of me.

My mind was seeming to lose itself as he trailed sweet kisses down my (S/C) skin.

I wanted to believe that there was still a part of me that still harbored some sort of affection for the mischief god's brother but, the further I looked within myself the more I found that there was no such thing...at least not anymore. What was once nothing but love for the thunderer was replaced with an affection towards Loki that not even Thor brought out of me, though admitting it pained me more than anything.

"Such a beautiful creature." Loki whispered against the nape of my neck

The air surrounding us was filled with the stench of, if I were to dare say it...love and lust.  Outside of his chambers there was the chatter of what to cook for supper and meaningless gossip which was surfacing itself. So in other words whatever we did would go unnoticed, or so I hoped.

A faint blush dusted my cheeks as I felt his slender fingers trail down my sides, tracing an ever small circle and tenderly kneading the flesh.

"Ah, L~Loki.." I breathed, tangling my fingers within the thickness of his locks.

Was this part of some plan? To seduce me and use me as another trophy of his...conquests? That's what every part of my mind was screaming at me, begging for my blind eyes to see. That this was all some sick game to him but my heart was telling me something vastly different.

As if he read my mind he spoke once more, tugging at the hem of the emerald night gown which covered my trembling body.

"What must I do to prove my loyalty to you kitten? My infatuation?"

Our bodies rubbing up against one another and  exchanging an unfamiliar warmth.

Loyalty? Does he really think he of all people can talk to me about loyalty? How many times as he betrayed his brother? Asgard? How many times has he manipulated others in order to fulfill his selfish desires?

But of course I didn't let my thoughts manifest themselves into words, instead my next phrase of a different tongue that was almost foreign to even myself.

"Show me...my king. Just how infatuated are you with me?"

My response seemed to shock him as his gentle massaging of my sides stopped, for only a moment before I heard the faintest chuckle.

"If you believe you can handle it my dear."

"Do you believe in love brother? Or has Odin completely made you lack belief in such a thing?"

"Odin never loved me brother, nor did the people of Asgard. I was an outcast who was left to rot while you prospered."

"Lies brother."

"I may be the god of lies brother but in this moment I speak only the truth. Love is a lie which I was fooled into believing someone like me could achieve."

"Don't sound so defeated little brother. You will experience love someday and when you do it will make you do things, say things you never believed you would. Or so that was what mother told me."

My eyes fluttered closed and hips bucked as I felt him suddenly bite down onto the flesh of my neck, his hands which were once gentle now squeezing my sides roughly.

Another chuckle.

"You humans are such fragile creatures, flustered by even the slightest touch." His voice was smooth and sultry, like honey.

Beneath Loki's facade I saw a man who was broken, yearning for love, for understanding. He hid behind a smirk and an array of sarcastic comments to keep others from diving in too deep.

My body shivered and melted at his very touch though I was doing everything in my power to hold myself together.

A pitiful attempt really.

I was unraveling slowly, with every kiss and every squeeze.

Was this love? Or was this lust? That's what it had to be...that's what this had to be. The two of us simply acting in such a way because of the lack of sexual attention we yearned to receive.

It was as though Loki was tracing his fingers along a treasure map, looking to find the prize he had been so patiently waiting for. Beneath him was the woman he dreamt of. The woman he lusted and craved for for so long. A jewel to be cherished. A jewel to be loved and sought after.

For a moment all the god could do was admire the beauty, your beauty. His emerald green eyes dancing over your partially naked form.

It was taking everything within him and more to not simply tear the thin night gown he had given you the night prior off and ravish you right then and there but he couldn't assume you and his brother had already slept together and so he would have to be gentle. The god wasn't so evil as to force himself upon you.

Much like a predator stalking it's pray Loki licked his lips in amusement, lifting up the end of the gown which covered you. Beneath a pair of black lace panties covered the wet sex beneath.

"Mmmm..." The raven haired beauty hovered over his prize, taking in the sweet aroma which came from it. A few strands of his hair tickling the inner most part of your thighs.

Just a taste.

Only slightly did he part his lips to allow his tongue a taste of the nectar which tempted him, earning the faintest groan from the both of you.

I whimpered, opening my eyes to look at him with a lust I didn't know that I could ever feel. "P~Please don't be a tease.."

The voice that came from me the soft meow of a kitten begging for it's master to give it the affection it so desperately craved.

Loki smiled, happily obliging with my request. "Since you requested of it..."

With a sudden swiftness I felt a cold breeze brush up against my womanhood, giving me the indication that the lace panties which covered me were no longer there.

My patience was running thin and so I grabbed a hold of  the gods head and shifted my hips upwards, indirectly telling him to the best of ability that I wanted him and that I wanted him now.

Of course he caught the hint rather quickly and only grinned before parting his lips once more and licking along my wet folds, then sliding his tongue inside and earning a soft moan as his reward.

Upon getting another taste it was as though a switch flipped within him. The sweetness of it spreading along the gods taste buds and allowing him to savor it to an even greater degree. His calmness and tentativeness going out the window and replaced with an aggression Loki had buried deeply within himself long ago.

A light flickered within the god of mischief's eyes, then a lust, and finally a hunger.

Loki dug his nails within the meat of your thighs and let his eyes watch the way your body moved. The way you begged for more when his tongue plunged within the deepest and innermost parts of you.

The taste, oh by the gods the taste.

"L~Loki! Aa~ahhh!!"

The sound of his name falling from your lips further driving him to quicken his pace.

Faster.

Faster.

The room seemed to be getting hotter with every passing moment, counteracting against the coldness I felt in between my legs. I could feel the sweat starting to bead down the sides of my face as my breathing became ragged. Within myself a knot was growing and getting more intense with every passing moment Loki had his tongue curling in and out of me.

I had to keep in mind that we were still in his castle with dozens of servants walking down the halls just outside those doors and so I had to bite down on my tongue to keep myself from moaning out too loudly.

Loki didn't seem too fond of the sudden action I took of dampening the noises that were coming out of me and so he abruptly slide his tongue out from between my embarrassingly wet folds and crawled over me. This sudden lack of attention caused me to whimper out, looking up at him and finding only want and need within those eyes that held so many emotions within them.

"Do not mute your voice kitten..your screams, your cries is what drives me...graces me with such conviction." He said, leaning down to gift me with a kiss.

As our lips and tongues dances with one another my mind wandered.

This was...the momentary bliss and ecstasy that I had been yearning for months on end even though I myself for the longest time was blind to it.

Blind to the very fact that I did indeed have...feelings for this man...this god who had a destructive but lonely history.

Was it the thrill that drove me to him? No, that couldn't possibly be it. Or was it simply Loki himself. The very god that he was.

The idea seemed ludicrous yes but I've had far more crazy thoughts.

With every second that passed the kiss deepened and my sex grew even more wet. My nipples grew hard and the sweat coming from my pores came out at a much faster rate than before.

Something hard began poking at my inner thigh, eagerly pressing against the damp cloth with every roll of his hips.

I couldn't help but to blush, smiling faintly as he pulled away to look at me once again.

"Are you..."

"Yes," I nodded, cutting him off abruptly and finishing his sentence for him.

The raven haired god was shocked to say the least but kept it from showing on his face. He had assumed that you and his brute of a brother had already slept together. Loki was the god of lies, he wasn't able to read minds though a part of him wished he had such capabilities.

"I see.." His voice was low as he returned his attention back to the bruised skin around my neck.

A part of me was afraid... Afraid that he would break me. Afraid that his true intentions would be brought to light and be exactly what I feared for them to be but I couldn't let him sense it.

I couldn't let him sense my hesitation, so I bit my tongue and masked the uneasy feeling with an uneasy smile.

"I will be gentle with you kitten. Though I cannot promise you that I...wont loose myself."

Before I knew it the thin fabric that was covering his erect member vanished, reveling a massive manhood that I didn't think someone his...well size would have.

For lacking the muscle his brother had he...made up for it in other ways even though I had never really seen Thor's girth, rather the outline of it whenever he decided to wear sweatpants. But even then I always believed for the blonde to be the bigger of the two.

As if he sensed my surprise he let out a husky chuckle, planting kisses on my neck as he teased my womanhood with the tip of his throbbing member.

"Do not worry my dear...I will be gentle. "

I wanted to gaze into his eyes longingly but his sudden pull and pinch on my nipple kept me from doing so, causing me to gasp instead.

"A shame...no mortal ever thought to cherish you as I shall. Now...hold onto me kitten. I cannot promise you that this will not cause you pain, even if only for a moment."

The part of me that still had any sort of feelings for Thor wanted to stop this. Stop this...nonsense.

But as much as I wanted to try and push him away and say that I didn't want this I couldn't bring myself to do it.

This was the nirvana that I had been longing for for ages. The excitement that my nerves craved.

Loki was the drug that I never knew that i needed and for years had been suffering an intense withdrawal.

I brought him closer to my trembling body, hooking my legs around his waist as I took his chin and forced him to look at me.

Was that...surprise that I saw in those emerald green eyes?

"I want this...Loki. I want you." My words were a confession to not only him but to myself.

In a sense I was denouncing whatever part of me that still loved Thor.

The god of mischief gave me the faintest smile and a nod, kissing the back of my hand while never breaking his gaze from mine.

"My queen...and I shall treat you as such."

With a final kiss I felt him slowly insert himself inside.

Pain.

That was the first thing I felt.

A splitting pain I had never experienced before in my life.

My eyes went wide for a moment before shutting tightly, the grip I had around his neck tightening.

To hide the pain I was in I buried my  face in the space around his neck that my arms didn't cover.

The groan that had came from Loki's throat was one that I would've never in a million years thought I would've heard.

Low and...husky.

A symphony to my ears that I was elated to partake in.

"By...the...g~gods (Y/N)..." He managed to groan out, slowly continuing to push himself further inside me.

He tried desperately to distract my mind from the pain, kissing me as he rolled his slender hips into me, connecting with my own.

Tears threatened to spill but I held them back, returning his kiss to try and keep myself distracted from the evident pain crashing over my body in cascading waves.  My lips must've had the taste of salt but the taste didn't seem to bother him. Perhaps he was accustomed to it, having shed unseen tears in the solace he often put on himself.

"L-Loki..." His name the only thing keeping my wavering grasp on reality given the current situation.

The god gave me a pained look, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. "I know my kitten...would you like for me to stop?"

'He was being considerate? Of my feelings and of my pain?'

I shook my head, kissing him softly and a single tear fell. "N-no...just..stay still...please."

Loki kissed the tear away and nodded, clenching onto the silk sheets and uttering another groan as he waited for my pain to subside.

It took a moment or two but the god was soon fully inside me uttering words in his native tongue that was foreign to me as walls tightened around him.

I steadied my breathing as I waited for myself to adjust, finding comfort in his earthy aroma and scent.

Soon the pain became nothing more than an afterthought, causing me involuntarily roll my hips in the subconscious need to truly be one with him.

"I care for her brother...no. I love her."

"(Y/N) is mine Loki. If you ever dare lay a finger on her or include her in one of your lies I will end you myself."

"Do you truly believe I fear you brother? I have watched the way you treat her. As if she is nothing more than a mere afterthought. Oh no brother I am not the one hiding behind a veil of lies this time, it is you. You go off to war and expect her to wait for you? While you go off on your brute antics?"

"I will cut your tongue out myself brother."

"I have suffered far worse of fates at the hands of our so called father. One day brother...one day she will see through your facade. She will no longer be there waiting for you but instead be with me...where she should have been. That I promise you."

The god began to roll his hips, the pace slow and gentle at first before beginning to quicken in to something far rougher.

In this moment my mind didn't think of my friends...locked away in some god forsaken cell. Nor did my mind wander to the man whom I was supposed to have feelings for. Instead all of my thoughts were on Loki...easing any of his pain or loneliness, making it my own.

Was that so wrong?

The rolling waves began to overtake me, my voice uttering cries of ecstasy and bliss. In return the god above me groaned out my name as if it were a prayer which drove my pleasure to a state I never fathomed of experiencing.

Beads of sweat stuck to his forehead, along with strands of his raven black wavy hair that I often found myself lost in.

"(Y/N)..."

What were once clear grunts of my name turned into something far more primal, his pace morphing into that of a starved animal.

My eyes clamped shut and my head tossed itself back.

"L~Loki! Oh my...god!"

No longer did it feel as though I was being ripped in two, instead the feeling was something complex. I could feel myself tightening around him with every thrust, each one sending me further and further over the edge to the peak I so desperately wished to experience.

Our lips danced with one another feverishly, the harsh sound of skin slapping against skin being drowned out by the chatter outside of his chambers. They were soft...and smooth, something I could never grow tired of while the sound of my name coming off of them was something I could grow drunk off of.

A knot began to form, deep within the pit of my stomach and it was one faintly familiar to me as it was the very same knot that had built inside me a few minutes prior. It caused my toes to curl and nails dig into Loki's back. If the gesture was too rough I wouldn't know as it only seemed to turn him on more, his hands clutching desperately onto me waist as if he were afraid I would dissapear.

"I will have her one day brother, and when that day comes you will only have yourself to blame."

"(Y/N) would never fall for you Loki."

"And can you really be so sure?"

I could feel myself growing ever closer to that peak and given the twitching of Loki's member I could tell he was close too.

Even know she's beautiful.

The way her hair lays against the sheets as if there is an halo over her head, an angel watching over her.

No, (Y/N) is an angel the gods so foolishly let free from their gaze. But it is alright, she is mine now and I never intend on letting her go.

Even in my delirious haze I was able to open my eyes,though the moment was brief I found a pair of beautiful emerald green orbs looking into my own with a sea of emotions I couldn't even begin to break down.

As his thrusts grew more erratic he placed a hand on my cheek, his thumb tracing gentle circles along the flesh before his lips parted to speak words I never believed I would hear from the god of mischief.

"I love you (Y/N)...with every fiber of my being. I crave you, your touch...your voice. How is it that a mortal...has such a hold over me."

I was...speechless to say the least.

'The god of mischief and lies...loves me?'

'But then again (Y/N) he is that...the god of lies. Every word coming out of his mouth could be nothing more than a fabrication.'

'But still, the look in his eyes says something else.'

'Even in this moment after hearing those words I couldn't deny I felt something great for him. Was it love? That I didn't know.'

Loki seemed to sense my shock and hesitation but instead only placed a gentle kiss on my lips, continuing his pace.

"I do not need an answer now kitten...I know it is sudden but..."

His words were cut off by the sudden cry of his name from my lips as that familiar knot began to suddenly unravel, my vision momentarily going black and toes curling. In that moment everything seemed to make sense. Being with Loki, even after all he's done. I somehow couldn't no longer see him as the monster everyone, including his brother, made him out to be. He wasn't the villain...not anymore.  It wasn't soon after that he followed, my name his last curse before his hot and thick seed was shot into me.

He rode out the rest of his thrusts before slowly pulling out of me, the sudden lack of warmth and filling making me whimper.

There was a pleased gleam in Loki's eyes which earned a soft smile from me, watching him take his place beside me on his double king sized bed.

"You are...beautiful kitten."

His voice was hushed almost as he pulled me into his arms.

It was strange just how quickly drowsiness overtook me, my (E/C) eyes struggling to stay open even though a few moments ago I was wide awake.

I felt his touch on my cheek again, lulling me into a full state of sleep but not before pressing his lips against my temple.

"Sweet dreams (Y/N)"

"I will always come back for her brother. No matter what battle I fight."

"That is not enough. She should be your reason to stay. She has shed tears for you Thor. Praying to her God that you come home to her every time you go off on some whim. One day you will break her and you won't be able to put the pieces back together, I will."

"You will be in Asgard's cell rotting before I let you near her Loki. She will not fall for your tricks or your lies."

"She's been lied to enough."

-------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

SO I KNOW I HAVEN'T POSTED IN MONTHS AND I AM SO SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PATIENTLY BEEN WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THIS BOOK. I WILL TRY TO GET BACK ON SOME SORT OF REGULAR SCHEDULE FOR POSTING BUT IT MIGHT TAKE A BIT. V.V

Family things have been overwhelming and I just haven't been in the writing mood. But i'm back now and I really am going to try and get back on schedule. I also tried to make this chapter longer than any of the others to make up for my lack of posting! Once again thank you all for being patient with me!

Bye lovelies! <3

#loki #loki laufeyson #marvel #fanfic #thor #tom hiddleston #avengers #fanfiction #loki x y/n #thor x reader #loki x reader

[septic-skele]

US - Heed The Signs (Part 1)

Summary: Something is up with Papyrus. Blue is determined to make some headway on their journey to Snowdin and the warning signs go completely over his head.

Blue should have seen the signs. No, on the contrary—the signs were abundant, practically a slap to the face, and he had just brushed them aside. When he’d shaken Papyrus awake this morning on the creaky old bench they’d claimed for a night, it wasn’t…particularly gentle.

“Good morning, starshine! Up and at 'em! It’s a beautiful day, Papy, and it’s about time to greet it. Let’s not keep it waiting!”

To his surprise, Papyrus curled away from Blue’s prodding hands and shivered. “M’tired…Dun’ wanna walk today…” he whined, rubbing roughly at his eye sockets as he tried to roll over, putting his back to him.

“Hey, now! We don’t want to overstay our welcome, do we? Mweheh, if you’re worried about the bench getting lonely, I’m sure another traveler will come to keep it company as soon as we leave! Three is a crowd.”

Though that still didn’t budge him, Blue’s smile didn’t budge either. Optimism was key to making their long, arduous journey bearable. He needed to make the best of this for the both of them.

“Papy, do you remember the echo flowers yesterday?” he tried hopefully, clasping his shoulder. “I’ll bet there are plenty of others up ahead with riveting things to say to us! What do you think?”

“Nnnh…”

“Well, they’ve definitely got better things to say than that!” Taking initiative, he scooped Papyrus up, ignoring his keen of resistance as he planted him firmly on his feet. “There, see? Now we just put one foot in front of the other. Sound good?” When Papyrus swayed and listed into him, nuzzling halfheartedly into his shirt, Blue chuckled and put it down to being half-asleep. “Come on, sleepy-skull. Baby bones need exercise!”

It should have worried him—how Papy lagged and leaned on the cavern walls as they made their way, how his eyelights were just a little too bright. When they reached one of the falls, he hissed, rattled and whined them to a standstill. They wasted almost fifteen minutes debating it until Blue, with a calming breath and utmost poise and patience, hiked him up on his back and carried him across. Looking back on it now, it was a mercy that he had.

The water flowing past them was chilly, its roar drowning out the clatter of Papyrus’ bones as he quivered. Blue couldn’t help shuddering a little too, wading on tiptoe so his brother wouldn’t dip too far. He’d grown, he realized about halfway across as Papyrus’ legs bumped his sides. Maybe someday they would be doing this with roles reversed!

Maybe someday they would have a warm, secure home in one secure place and they wouldn’t have to do this.

“We did it!” he exclaimed unnecessarily as they stumbled back onto dry ground. Puddles formed around them as Blue helped Papyrus wring out his tattered shirt. He needs a jacket.

He needs a lot of things.

Soul sinking as Papyrus sniffled and shivered, Blue took another breath to muster himself. Courage and optimism. “Hey…I’ll bet the faster we walk, the faster our clothes will dry.”

Hopefully they would be dry by the time they arrived in Snowdin. Wet clothes in that kind of cold would be absolute misery no matter how Blue tried to spin it.

It seemed Papyrus had the same thought, though he took an opposite approach: the slower he walked, the more likely they would be dry long, long, long before they ever reached Snowdin. He shuffled, kicked at the floor, stopped to hug himself or rub repetitively at his eye sockets.

Make the best of it. Make it an adventure. Make it something fun. Those were the first ideas Blue had to turn to.

“Brother! Why don’t we play a game to pass the time?” he called as he paused yet again to let Papyrus catch up. “It’s called, um, Name Everything You See! I see…water sausages! Your turn!”

“Mm…grass,” he mumbled, barely looking.

“Crystals on the ceiling!”

“Lily pads.”

They managed to make that work for a while, until Papyrus made a point of repeating the same answer for every step. Blue was exceedingly close to giving in and carrying him for a while longer, only to brighten when he saw the field before them.

“Look, Papy! Now I see the echo flowers!” To his great relief that made him perk up just a little; he took Blue’s hand and let himself be dragged over.

Stopping here meant they still weren’t making headway, but it was what Blue had promised. They spent a few minutes batting at the petals, eavesdropping on old news.

“…ready to try again, if you are?”

“…can’t prove anything.”

“…What do you remember?”

“…speaks in hands.”

“…two animal runts digging through my trash again!”

Blue tensed at that phrase, his mind already rewinding two nights to their slightly desperate search for dinner. Had they really been that conspicuous? It was meant to be a mission of flawless espionage; the old monster wasn’t supposed to see them!

“Umm…Umm—!” Forcing a grin, he spun around as Papyrus glanced over. “I just thought of something! What did one flower say to the other after telling a joke?” He didn’t wait for an answer, tilting his head with a wink. “I was just pollen your leg!”

If there was anything that could lift Pap’s spirits as a last resort, it was Blue indulging his terrible sense of humor. Sure enough, his eyelights grew big, his mouth fell open and then he was doubled over laughing. As the pun echoed around them, his giggles bubbled over into gasps for breath, then hard coughs, then giggles again.

Was it really that funny? Blue wondered, chuckling sheepishly. It froze in his throat only moments later, soul plummeting into his nonexistent stomach as his little brother promptly crumpled to the ground and burst into tears.

Finally, inexcusably late, all of his internal alarms went off. “Papyrus?!”

These weren’t the silent, subdued tears that Papyrus would wipe away on his sleeves when he thought Sans wouldn’t see; these were deep, wrenching sobs that tore at his core, rocking him forward on his knees. Blue was at his side in seconds.

“What is it?” he demanded. “What is it, what’s wrong?!”

If he answered, it was unintelligible through his cries as he curled in on himself, cradling his head against the echo. Anxiety swelling in him, Blue pulled off one glove, intending to rub circles into his neck and back—

Stars. Stars, was he always this hot to the touch? Dismayed realization sank in just as Pap’s next gasp became a gurgling moan, and a heave of half-formed magical essence was being retched into the grass.

Guilt and horror crawling on his back, Blue sat by until his brother stopped gagging. From there he gathered him up in his arms, all pretenses gone. “Oh, Papyrus…I’m so sorry! I should have realized…W-Why didn’t you tell me?”

Whimpering—in shame or pain, it was uncertain—Papyrus buried his flushed, pinched face against Blue’s shoulder. “Didn’t…want’cha mad at me,” he hiccupped miserably. “M’not sup-p-posed to be slow! K-Keep up so…so we can find home faster…” His quivering grew violent for a moment, his next words a reedy rush. “D-Didn’t wanna get left behind.” His voice cracked; it was the most he’d spoken all day.

Blue’s embrace fell slack, the light draining from his eye sockets. “What? How…How could you think that I would ever…?”

The tears were budding again, wetting his shirt as he forced the words out through coughs. “M’always too t-tired—an’ too slow—an’ c-can’t go as far as you can—an’ can’t help you—an’ can’t g-get up to greet the day when y’want me to—”

“Papyrus…”

“—And I had a bad, awful dream where you went off away from me an’ something got you! They got you an’ I—I was all alone—”

“Brother, look at me.” Blue did his best to compose himself as Papyrus obeyed, though his voice still held a tremor. “I will never, ever leave you behind. No matter how tired you are, no matter how slow, I will always be there to help and protect you. What would I do without you?”

“…Get t-to a home in Snowdin faster.”

That struck with just as much pain as a bone breaking. “Nothing could be home without you, Papy. I’m not going anywhere.”

The echo flowers concurred, spreading the message across the field, softly willing Papyrus to believe it. He didn’t answer, hoarse breaths slowly evening out as Blue scratched soothing fingers against the base of his feverish skull.

“You’re tired,” he whispered, lulling him down. “Rest as long as you need.”

#undertale #underswap #fanfiction #sans #sans undertale #swap sans #papyrus #papyrus undertale #swap papyrus #babybones #sickfic #whump #chronic illness #angst #self doubt #hurt comfort #brotherly love

[ombraventi]

Why have you returned here, ghost of my demise? [Challenge p6]

Words: 1897 Rating: T Warnings: violence, eye injury, mild body horror, blood tw

previous part || next part

He knew right away when Octavo moved to enter- his eyes were everywhere in the castle, watching everything that happened. Naturally, the halls were flooded with monsters- darknuts and stalfos were everywhere, but none were immune to the conductor’s curse. It was a shame, really- if only Octavo hadn’t betrayed him. They really did work so well together…

The person he’d once called a friend moved rather quickly to the throne room, though Vaati was certain to put an end to his little tricks once he moved inside. His baton would be yet again nothing more than a simple baton… if he wanted to fight, he’d have to use that stupid lute of his.

“Well well, you really want to die that badly? I must say, I’m impressed! So bold of you!”

“I won’t lose to the likes of you! I am the one who is going to save this city!”

“Oh, can it with your dramatics, ‘Tavo. You’re nothing more than a two-bit villain, who uses self-righteous justification to excuse taking over Hyrule. We’re no different.”

“Me, the same as you? Don’t make me laugh. I’m nothing like some horrid wind demon.”

“Demon, god… what’s really the difference? It’s only the light that people wish to paint me with… but I hardly care about anyone’s opinions on me.”

“You’re nothing more than a fool!”

“As are you, for standing against what I could give you. I could give you power, give you status, give you everything. And yet you stand here, like this.”

“I think you’ve misunderstood me then, if you think that’s what I care about!”

“I know far more about you than you’d ever think, ‘Tavo. I know about your powers, and I know who you are. And I know what you did- you honestly think that justifying your actions with ‘it was to stop Ganon’ will really excuse you? History sees you as a villain, my friend. A usurper, not a hero.”

“Tch- and you’re any different?”

“Yes- I embrace what I am. Perhaps I’m a monster, but at least I admit it! This world is my toy- I can do whatever I want to it!”

“And that’s why I’ll stop you! We don’t need a god like you!”

Vaati found himself laughing, but there wasn’t any joy to it. It was a sad, desperate sound- it only betrayed how far he was falling, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His friends hated him, they didn’t even know him- why should it matter? Why should any of it matter?

“This entire world… is worthless. I’m going to… I’m going to destroy it, ‘Tavo. All of it. I’ll destroy it, then make a better one- don’t worry. Don’t worry at all. I promise, the next one will be better.”

His laughs echoed through the throne room as he threw out his hands, magic sparking from his fingertips and launching towards Octavo. There was no time to dodge, and yet the gust of wind never connected- Vaati just squinted in confusion, uncertain what was going on.

“The locket…”

Another gust of wind magic, intended to cut right through him like a blade- and yet again, it didn’t connect. In his anger, Vaati just screamed- he threw out a wave of lightning, which yet again refused to connect.

“What the hell?!”

“I see… so even against you, it protects me…”

“Wipe that damned smile off your face!”

He wanted nothing to do with Octavo’s quiet smugness, this time lashing out with a blaze of fire. That was enough to get the bard to dodge, singeing a bit of his hair- finally, something that worked. It was hardly his most preferred element, but… well, he’d make it work.

Fireball after fireball was launched at his former friend, the sound of Vaati’s laughter only met with the sound of music from Octavo’s golden lute. He’d wasted no time in beginning to strum as he danced about the battlefield, face darkening with concentration.

“What, do you think some stupid lute will stop me?”

“I think you’ll find this is no ordinary instrument. You may be surprised, Vaati.”

A chord on the lute seemed to send out a shockwave, knocking Vaati back. He gasped, more from shock than pain- how? How had he managed to make such a stupid little toy so effective?

“Behold the power of the fates, and the triforce of power!”

“Stupid… so stupid! Your damned rhythms are nothing to me!”

“Shout all you want, it won’t change things! I won’t lose, demon!”

“You… you… it doesn’t matter! None of it matters! Nothing you do can defeat me!”

The throne room quickly became a battlefield, vaati throwing his magic at Octavo only for it to be deflected back. Finally, he grew tired- he called forth a blade with his magic, shadows and madness taking form in his hand.

“You! You worthless traitor!! You, who pretended to be my friend!!! Of course it was a lie! Everything’s a lie!! Because there’s NO SUCH THING AS FRIENDS!!! Humans only exist to USE each other!!!”

“As if I would ever befriend the likes of you… I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

“It doesn’t matter- none of it matters! NONE OF IT MATTERS!”

“You’re insane!”

“I DON’T CARE!”

Words were meaningless, and both of them knew it. Vaati didn’t bother continuing to talk, though his heart was aching with words unsaid. His magic continued to fly, the sound of his sword scraping against the marble floors echoing throughout the grand hall- but finally, Vaati was knocked to the ground, staring up into the utterly cold look on Octavo’s face.

“You lose, demon.”

“No… No, I can’t lose. I won’t lose. I don’t care what it costs… I won’t lose.”

What he looked like didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. This world had no point, no purpose, no anything- he didn’t care.

And so, the last of what made him finally broke.

His body started to warp, his darkness and madness completely overwhelming him. He was hate, he was hurt, he was loneliness. His body and mind were his suffering, his pain, it was all that he was anymore. Vaati was gone.

All he was now, was Wrath.

The demon let out a horrid scream when his form finally came solid once more, giant eye staring down at Octavo. He was hate. He was anger. He was wrath. He was emotion made physical, logic and reason had no more meaning- he just wanted these horrid painful feelings of his to go away.

« E V E R Y T H I N G  C A N   D I S A P P E A R »

“How vile- you truly are a demon! To think… one such as you could truly exist…”

Octavo reeled back in disgust, but Wrath found that he couldn’t be upset about it. Everything already hurt too much- taking offense from one particular thing was beyond him now. It wasn’t possible.

« T H I S  W O R L D  I S  M I N E »

He didn’t know if Octavo could understand him. He was emotion, not logic- it didn’t matter. All that mattered was destroying him, destroying everything. He needed to end it. He needed to make a better world. A world where none of this had happened. A world where things would be better. His perfect world, where he could really have everything he wanted.

A world that would never exist.

« J U S T   D I S A P P E A R   A L R E A D Y »

He was taking hits. He didn’t know how, or why, but he was. Wrath would scream in pain with each one, though he had no mouth- it was a sound like a horrible roar, that came from deep within himself. It was a horrid noise, a deafening sound- and it kept happening.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

Was he going to die?

No, because he wasn’t allowed.

His eye hurt. Octavo kept hitting it, tearing it to pieces with his lute’s magic- did he know? Did he know that it hurt?

“Stop, please… please, ‘Tavo… it hurts… my eye… I can’t… it hurts so much…”

His voice couldn’t be heard- he didn’t even know if he could hear it. Was he even speaking? No- he had no mouth. It was just thoughts, words that would never leave.

“P-Please… I’m sorry… it hurts… it hurts so much… I know I made a mistake…”

Was this him? Was this even him? He didn’t know anymore. He wasn’t sure he could know anymore. It felt like him, but it didn’t- perhaps it was him in the past? He didn’t think he could feel guilt anymore, he doubted he had room in his heart for regret. And did it matter? He was pain. He was hate. He was sadness. He was anger. He was fear. He was Wrath.

“W-Will I… ever be able to see from it…?”

“Maybe, Vaati… I can’t say for certain, but your eye wasn’t damaged beyond saving. So there’s still a chance.”

“I-I’m sorry…”

“It was just a mistake… we learn from them.”

“It hurts…”

It hurt…. It hurt so much…

« I T  H U R T S . . . »

With one final slash, Wrath fell. The scream that flooded the room was horrid- it was inhuman and pained, an awful noise that bubbled up from his very soul. But finally he was defeated, he was done- Vaati lay on the ground in his small, hylian self- he was clutching desperately at his right eye, trying to feel anything besides the horrible pain from it, trying to stop the awful bleeding that was coming from the socket. Did he even have an eye there anymore? He didn’t know, and it hurt too much to check.

“Hah… I see then. So that’s your true self… what you really look like.”

Vaati looked up at Octavo, unable to tear his eye from the complete and utter coldness on Octavo’s face.

“Fine then… I lose. Just… make it quick… I can’t… I can’t keep doing this…”

It hurt. It hurt to see the hate on his friend’s face. It hurt to know that he’d done this of his own free will, and he’d do it again and again and again, because that was the sort of person he was. He was the sort who’d ruin his own life a million times over, all for that chance- that chance to be something that he knew deep down he would never have.

Too stubborn to accept what he was. What he’d done.

Someday, he’d diminish to nothing.

He’d always be nothing more than a rat, whose greatest sin was daring to dream above his station.

“You… you’re pathetic.”

“Hah… I guess so…”

Octavo’s eyes just narrowed, shaking his head and stepping back.

“I’m not giving you that. You can live with how pathetic you are, knowing that you’ll never win. Not even immortality can help you. Your true legacy will be your shame.”

“’Tavo… please… please, don’t, I…” he didn’t care that his voice shook, he didn’t care how weak he looked or sounded. “I-I…. I can’t be alone… not like that… please, ‘Tavo… don’t just leave…”

“If you wanted friends, you should’ve thought of that sooner.”

“N-No… please… please, don’t…”

But his words had no effect- Octavo turned and left the throne room, leaving Vaati completely and utterly alone.

#drabbles #supergiant challenge #; 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔣𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 { CHALLENGE } #malevolute #violence tw #eye injury tw #eye trauma tw #eye horror #blood tw #bleeding tw #injury tw

[rwt-mystic-corner]

~*Pagan Meme*~

Tagged (via proximity and desire to do it) by @stormwaterwitch​! And I tag: Anyone who sees this (as long as they’re okay with tags)!

Do you have a magical/Pagan name?

I do, but I prefer not to publicize it. The “RWT” in my url is the abbreviation, though!

How did you find Paganism?

It was less of a defined epiphany, and more of a gradual realization that led to a transition. I’ve always thought trees and wind and thunderstorms had “power”, and I always delighted in FEELING it!  But I didn’t appreciate that power reverently, in a dedicated worship fashion, until I was about 14, and started reading about Wicca. 

From the first book I picked up (”Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner” by Scott Cunningham), everything just felt right, and the exercises came naturally to me. I never understood why “pagan” was an insult, and I always secretly believed there was more than one God or force of nonphysical power in the universe, despite being raised Christian. I met with them, communed with them, prayed to them, asked them for guidance... All that book really gave me was a name, and the gateway to an identity I now proudly embrace. (And, well, more structure and definition for what I was feeling, and ways to more directly consult and praise them.)

How long have you been practicing?

Witchcraft: I learned that little “wishes” sent out to the world had an impact at a very young age. It was an intrinsic part of my worldview, even at age 8! So without knowing I was working magic, I’d been practicing it my entire life. Pagan-dedicated worship, though? 12 years. Same time for dedicated, focused actual witchcraft.

Are you out of the broom closet?

To most people, yes. I came out as pagan to some of my co-workers within like two months of knowing them. 8F (Though I don’t openly chat about actually practicing witchcraft unless I’m prompted, because I’m not a fan of attempted evangelism.)

Solitary or group practitioner?

Solitary, though I occasionally join forces with friends and spirits.

What is your path?

I call it eclectic paganism, wherein I’m definitely pagan, but I’ve gleaned elements of truth from Buddhism and Daoism as well. As for my path in witchcraft, I call it more of a “mystical” practice, because I’m all about understanding divine mysteries, harnessing forces in the universe, and introspection as a study of microcosm. “Witchcraft” generally indicates a lot more use of physical tools, words, and rituals than I’ve ever used. (At least, not since I was about 16.) 

D E I T Y

What’s your brand of deism?

Oh boy, this one’s fun. Technically speaking, I’m an agnostic theist. I believe there is definitely something out there, but I also believe it’s impossible for humans to understand and truly comprehend exactly what that divine power is. Hence, “agnostic” (”not knowing”) “theist” (believes in godlike power). The pantheon I’ve connected most to is the old Finnish crew.

Who is your patron God/ess?

Matrons Mielikki and, well, the second is a bit of a close-kept secret. ;}P (While she’s not nearly well enough known to be considered “pop culture”, she’s been a very powerful force in my life since inducting me as a follower.)

What Gods do you worship?

Regularly? None of them, oops;; But mostly the two aforementioned. I’ve also felt a connection to Hestia, , and a weird connection to the Egyptian pantheon that definitely was Not worshippy, probably mostly from a past life? (But I was so irreverent in that life, it would probably be an insult to worship them now, ehheh;;)

Do you fear darkly aspected Gods/Goddesses, or rather respect them?

They’re practically my guardian angels. (I’m a shadow witch; their domain is my source of power! My spirit guide is a creature of the darkness!) I deeply respect, and in moments revere them, though I don’t really worship any by name.

Do you worship the Christian God?

I didn’t even “get” him when I was taken to church every Sunday. Or when I spent a week at Missionettes camp. Or when I could feel every single other person in that big room being spiritually elevated, and it felt so positive, and yet, I couldn’t feel what they were connecting to. He has never made himself known to me, so I couldn’t if I tried.

Do you worship animals? Or plants?

I revere and respect their power, and I appreciate the messages they may carry from my matrons and local spirits. So in a sense, yes?

N A T U R E

Do you regularly commune with nature?

Not as often as I’d like to... but when I’m at work with the dogs outside, and the sky is clouded over with a strong, consistent breeze: I do reach out to the forest behind my workplace and gaze off into the sky.

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature?

I wish! I’ve never really been alone on a camping trip. Someday I absolutely will, though~ (Even though the forest Mielikki connected to me is at a local metropark with no campgrounds, and no other forest has ever “opened its heart” to me that way... it’s still a powerful feeling.)

Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth?

...It’s hard to pick just one, honestly. It must be moments in which I’ve talked to the trees, or sat in the river just to feel the ground beneath me, the water around me, to breathe and get lost in it until I became a part of it...

Do you have a familiar?

I might. I haven’t exactly been working with him lately, but my chinchilla Dusty came to me in a magical way. I dreamed about holding an off-white chinchilla with a singular spot. And then went into work the next day, and saw him there. A tiny white chinchilla, with one little gray spot, just like in my dream. I resisted, initially; I was still healing from the loss of my first chinchilla, and didn’t quite trust myself? But he stayed in that cage for awhile, maybe a month, and as I took care of them, he gradually started coming closer and closer, losing his nerves, growing braver, growing closer... and then grooming me! We bonded, but he would still avoid everyone else in the store. Then one day, as I was debating whether it would be the right time to take him home, I heard the lyrics played on the radio: “Dreams do come true, from out of the blue”. So I took it as a sign, and now? He’s so very highly attuned to my moods. He gets excited when I’m excited, even if I’m just sitting there smiling at my computer screen. He runs to hide when I’m feeling frightened. He sits at the cage door and watches me when I’m getting lost in contemplation, and he seems to “join me” in peaceful meditation, and will curl up and sleep. He followed me around my room when I was setting high-powered defensive wards around it in the apartment, and if I lowkey enchant his veggies, he’ll always go for the one I was holding first.

I haven’t figured out how to incorporate a chinchilla into meditations or spellwork yet... (buuut it’s hard to rework something you’re not really doing lately, yikes.)

Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual? Or a plant?

Plants, definitely-- just today, I stirred a little ginger into my soup (to help with my perpetual stomach trouble), and worked a little magic to pull out all its healing properties I could. During meditation, I often have animal guides coming to aid me, or direct me, or watch over me, or just stop by to see what I’m doing. And of course, there was my old familiar, a tangerine ring-neck dove named Fizzy, who used to sit with me in meditation, watch over me in rituals and lend his flight to my prayers and spells, and I used his feathers in travel and creativity spells. 

Do you hug trees?

Not traditionally. I do lean against them when communing, though.

Give them gifts?

Ooh, no, but that’s a good idea. (I have adopted other gifted plants that others didn’t want, though.)

What are your favorite plants to work with?

Ooh, that’s tricky! Peppermint, maybe? Meadowsweet and heal-all remind me of a very dear witchy friend. Sandalwood usually has great results for me, but incense tends to dilute them... Probably pine above all, actually! It’s special to Mielikki, it smells wonderful, the trees are resilient and never mind giving a few needles or boughs, and the softer, enduring energy blends really well with my gentle persevering nature.

What are your favorite trees to work with?

See above. c: Closely followed by willow and hawthorn.~

What is your favorite holiday?

Definitely Samhain/Halloween!

What is your least favorite holiday?

Beltane, Litha, and to a degree, Lammas. I can’t do the ~summer energy~ thing, it makes me feel like I’m burning up and overstimulated. Moonlight rituals aren’t as bad, but I still tend to pass out in the heat, so, you know... Very Hard to Get Witchy when you’re seeing spots and your head is swimming. (The energy overstimulation doesn’t hit me as hard as it used to, not on the front end, but I don’t have as much time to dedicate to meditation and cleansing anymore, so it builds up more quickly anyways.)

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday?

Quite often! Well, assuming Esbats count. I used to do mini-rituals for every single Wiccan holiday that I wasn’t doing a full-blown prayer/meditation session for. But that only lasted a year or two, because the story behind them didn’t really connect with me anymore.

Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a Pagan holiday?

I did, one Samhain when I had requested off and my boss just forgot. I opened up about it, as long as he promised not to laugh, and told him it’s a spiritual day for me, and he gave me the day off. Nowadays I at least request Samhain off when I can afford to, but lately my finances don’t really allow me that luxury. lP

Do you celebrate Yule on the 21st rather than the 25th?

You know, sometimes it’s the 20th and sometimes it’s the 22nd, but yes~ Back when I was 16ish, I would wake up on the morning of the solstice and watch the sun rise, to feel out the new year and perform a ritual of “planting seeds” for the coming year... hmm. Considering all the big life goals I’ve been setting lately, maybe I should get back into that routine....

#meme #paganism #pagan #digital mirrorbooking #IRL canon #rwt personal posts #build the dream #it's getting my dreambuilding tag because dear GODS i need more free time and i need to realign myself with my SPIRITUAL self.... #and practice and energy and communing and worship and everything else i've sadly neglected in the pursuit of cold hard cash. #gods that feels gross to admit.

[drakewalkerfantasy]

Beckett x Maeve NSFW ABC

Book: The Elementalists

Pairing: Beckett x F!MC (Maeve Raven)

Note: Thank you @elles-choices for suggesting me to write this. It was kind of fun. So thank you.

Tag List: @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @elles-choices @tmarie82 @walkerismychoice @boneandfur @brightpinkpeppercorn @briarsunicorn @confessionsofabrokegirl @scgdoeswhat @ludextruction @feartheendlesssummer @flynnomalleys @darley1101 @queen-among-writers  @symonde

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from my tags.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) ~ 

Beckett wraps his hand around Maeve’s shoulders pressing her closer to him, her small hand placed over his racing heart. His breath is still heavy after the love they made, the sheen shining on their foreheads. His fingertips trace light patterns on her shoulder, murmuring to her how much he loves her and how much he missed her. His voice is still hoarse from the desire, his eyes do not leave hers, while his other hand cupping her cheek kissing her gently on the lips. “I love you. Mae, I love you so much,” he murmurs taking her lower lip gently between his. “I love you, Beck,” she whispers her hand slowly circling around his neck pulling him toward herself. They kisses are unhurried and soft. Slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep, both feeling warmth and comfort in each other's arms

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ~ 

“Mmmmmm“, moaned Maeve wrapping her soft lips around Beckett's dick taking him in. Her tongue tantalizingly slow circling around his head, pumping the base of his cock couple of times before swallowing it whole. She loved him and she definitely loved his dick, loved how he felt and tasted in her mouth, loved it rigidness and softness. Her warm honey-colored eyes met his ash grey making him shiver slightly under her gaze. He loved everything in her, and he was ready to worship every part of her body. But her eyes... He loved them. Loved how they shone like sunlight on polished stone and hid a depth of love she held for him. He loved the way her eyes sparkled with desire every time she went down on her knees, making the tip of her tongue dart outside outlining her lips. He loved this delicious sinful lips, loved the way they tasted as freshly picked strawberries when he kissed her, loved the way how they got wrapped around his throbbing member. “Jesus! Maeve, you feel so good”, he groaned placing his hand on the back of her head gently guiding her along. He loved when she glanced up at him taking him deep and hard. Loved, when their eyes meet, and she deliberately moaning in pleasure making him involuntarily thrust his hips forward heating the back of her throat, making him moan in response.

Beckett loves his abs and how it feels when Maeve’s nails lightly scratch them making them flex under her touch. Also, in spite of the fact that Maeve became insecure of her body after pregnancy, she became quite fond of her much fuller and firmer breasts and the way Beckett worships them when she rides him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…) ~ 

Maeve’s lips working up and down his shaft, her tongue lightly swirls around the head of his manhood on the outstroke, sucking him back in. Picking up the pace she starts to work her mouth faster on his shaft, sucking and licking him. She can feel his manhood swell and his muscles tense inside of her moist mouth, thrusting deep inside and hitting the back of her throat. His hot salty seed shoots deep inside of her mouth making her swallow every last drop. “Ohhhh, fuck...,” groaned Beckett reaching out and stroking her cheek tenderly looking deeply into her big hazel eyes, “I love you... I want you”, said he, pulling her to his lap. She straddles him not breaking their gaze, starting to ride him in a rocking rhythm, faster and faster, taking him deeper and deeper. Until she felt herself clenching around him feeling his hot seed shooting deep inside of her not long after when he finds his own release.

Beckett comes inside of Maeve exclusively, he loves the way it feels blowing huge loads inside of her, is it her mouth or pussy. After her first unexpected pregnancy and giving birth for their beautiful baby girl, she went on birth control. Maeve loves the taste of his cum, so she uses every opportunity to blow him before letting him go inside her pussy.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)~ 

They once fucked in the secluded area of the library caught in the moment of passion and desire quite forgetting that someone may in an earshot of their moans and they may be discovered (thankfully they wasn’t). Beckett was getting hot in his cheeks for weeks every time he went to the library after this and tried to avoid this section of the library for even longer.

They didn’t see each other for months during summer break as Beckett was joining Katrina and her new boyfriend for the whole break, and Maeve was meeting with her family in California. This was the first time in a week since the semester started when they managed to get together... just two of them without their friends who seem to make it a mission to make it impossible for them to get alone. After getting an assignment from Professor Kontos and when everyone refused to join them, they find out themselves in the back of the library in secluded section heavily making out not able to get enough of each other, breaking the kiss just to take a breath before dipping for another kiss. Their soft pants and moans broke the silence. Maeve parted her lips tantalizingly slow tracing the tip of her tongue over Beckett’s lips making him groan in pleasure. His hands slid down her body and cupped her ass under the plain short skirt kissing her fiery, lifting her up and pressing firmer against the bookcase feeling her legs wrapping his waist. Somewhere in the back of their minds, the thought flashed that they should stop, but at that moment the only thing they cared about was the heat spreading between them and desire that boiled their blood. Their eyes met, their breathing heavy, chest lifting up and down before kissing again as if their lives depended from this kiss. She could feel the thick bulge in his pants, hard against the thin soaking fabric of her panties. His shaking hands fumbling with his pants and pulling them down along with boxers, groaning impatiently into her mouth. He quickly pulled Maeve’s panties aside his finger slipping between her slick folds. “Fuck, Mae... You are soaked”, Beckett groaned before pulling away watching at her intently before shifting his hips just enough to push his throbbing head into her heat. As soon as he felt her wrapped around him he shoved deep inside her, fucking her hard and fast and rough. His thrusts were almost desperate fucking her as he never did before, feeling her erupt in pleasure, silencing her screams with the rough fiery kiss. He fucked her through the orgasm, feeling his own pleasure rippling through his veins making him tense before exploding deep inside her belly with a muffled scream.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) ~ 

Beckett had a few girlfriends before meeting and falling in love with Maeve, but they were never serious relationships, mostly to gain sexual experience. Maeve was the only girl who captured his heart and occupied his mind, even when they were “broke up” she was the only one for him and he never even threw a single glance on other girls hoping that someday they will be able to be together. 

Maeve also had a couple of boyfriends before Penderghast, even one quite serious relationships, but this ended a couple of months before she finds out who she truly is and starts to attend Penderghast.

“So... how much girlfriends did you have?” asked Maeve laying by his side, her leg thrown over him and knee pressed lightly to his member. She draws different patterns along his abs waiting for a reply, feeling his muscles flexing under her touch, biting her lower lip enjoying the feeling.

“Really?” He murmurs, gently kissing the nape of her head, the light smile playing on his lips.

“Yes, I need to know where you learned all these tricks of yours,” she laughs, seeing what is coming and trying to dodge his tickling hand, “stop it.... stop it...” she laughs, rolling onto her back, feeling him on top of her, their faces barely inch apart.

“I had a few,” he whispers in a husky voice breathless by her proximity and the feelings she causes in him. His gaze slides to her lips involuntarily before continuing, “ but the only girl that matters” he inches closer to her feeling the sharp inhale she makes, “the only girl I was and will be in love with” their lips almost touched before he speaks again, “it’s you Maeve. It’s always will be you,” and with the last words leaving his lips he crashes them on hers kissing her like there will be no tomorrow.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.) ~ 

Beckett’s favorite position is when Maeve is on top of him, riding him so he can explore her body, let her set up the pace or take control guiding her. This way he also can look her into the eyes loving the way the color of them is changing the closer to orgasm she gets:

Beckett lays on his back, his fingers digging into Maeve’s hips lowering her on his rigid member. Feeling her warm dripping pussy sinking on his hard cock, taking him deep inside her. He can feel her starting to move slowly, smoothly riding him. These movements are more like a dance of love, the dance of promises. Her slim body sliding along his, taking him deeper with every movement, her body arched bending a little bit forward. He is mesmerized by the way her forest green eyes are sparkling in the morning sun and the wind playing in her hairs. Her rosy lips are parted and her head thrown back. She is like a siren song enticing him making his desire for her to grow stronger with every touch, every movement inside her. He groans barely able to control himself, letting her set the pace not able to tear his eyes off her. Their eyes met and he can feel that he is ready to explode inside of her just by the way she looks at him and by the way her body moves against his. He is desperate for more, wanting more from her, his hands slide to her waist circling around it pulling her towards him not breaking their eye contact, feeling the power she holds over him. His lips captured hers, moaning inside her mouth, thrusting deeper, begging her to speed up. He can feel her comply starting to ride him faster, thrusting inside her hard, rough. His eyes are always on her watching her eyes go wider and her mouth fall open in a silent scream. “Come for me,” he murmurs watching her falling apart on him just to see her get full again, their eyes interlocked. He can sense her pulsing around him feeling his own pleasure approaching him. He groans, fire pooling low in his abdomen, feeling her milking his cock till the last drop before gently falling on top of him, feeling his arm tighten around her waist and he kisses her forehead breathlessly.

Maeve’s favorite position is doggy-style. She loves how deep he can penetrate her this way and that he can be rougher than usual with her, making her cum intensely :

Maeve seductively bends over the table taking some papers from the drawer on another side. Making sure, that the man behind her could see the show put on exclusively for him. Her pencil black skirt runs up her thighs and she smirked, innocently tilting her head back and meeting the steely grey eyes watching her intently. She could see Adam’s apple bobbing in Beckett’s throat and he made a tentative step towards her then another inching closer to her, his gaze sliding along her stretched body. He knew they shouldn’t do this in there, in his office, when everyone can just come upon them during the moment of passion. But instead of stopping he gets closer and closer to her, feeling uncomfortably tight inside his pants, feeling how his blood completely flowed from his brain and flowed to his manhood. He groaned and in an instant was behind her his hands on her hips pulling her skirt up.

“Never tease me like this....,” he groaned into her ear slightly, pulling her head back to meet his eyes almost black with desire, “unless... unless you want it.”

“Who said, I don’t,” she murmured, seductively biting her lip, grinding her ass against his throbbing cock, making his vision go almost black from desire.

With one hand still gripping her hip, he fumbled with his pants unbuckling them and jerking them and boxers off to his knees. Feeling the burning desire to bury himself between these long legs, trying to hold back for a little bit longer, his hand between her legs rubbing the thin material of her soaked panties. He groaned biting lightly her bare shoulder.

“Fuck, Mae.... you are always so wet for me... always so ready “, he rasped circling his thumb around her aching center, moaning in pleasure. He could feel his fingers getting slick from her juices feeling impatient to be inside of her.

“Take me...” Maeve purred from pleasure. Hearing her say this made his heart pound faster and his pulse started to race. Not waiting twice for the invitation, he roughly tugged on her thin material ripping off her soaked panties, satisfied with her gasps of protest mixed with surprise.

“You asked for it,” he smirked biting her shoulder once again before thrusting inside her dripping pussy. His both hands are on her hips, pounding inside her deeper and deeper, his teeth dig into her sensitive skin muffling his moans mixed with cursing.

“Ohhh, yes... faster... ohhh, deeper... just like this” she moans through the gaze of pleasure washing over her, making her weak in the knees. She likes the way he fucks her deep and fast, compiling to her wishes, but still dominating. Her fingers grab the edge of the table for a balance, her eyes closed, panting heavily feeling him hitting her secret spot making her tremble from pleasure beneath him... begging him for more and more, asking him to do this again and again. She can feel the warmth spreading in her lower abdomen exploding like fireworks in the night sky, her vision goes white and she screams his name over and over until she feels him tense shooting the hot seed as deep as he can.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) ~ 

They are both quite serious in bed with their eyes almost all the time intensely fixed on each other, murmuring words of love. But they occasionally may get also playful in a moment peppering each other’s faces with kisses and laughing before fucking like there is no tomorrow, getting serious once again.

Beckett holds Maeve’s face between his palms placing featherlight kisses over her face gently barely touching. Making her scrunched her nose, giggling from a tickling sensation when he brushes his lips over the top of her nose. He smiles at her with a mischievous smile, starting to peppering her face quicker, his palms sliding down, fingertips tickling her sides making her wriggle beneath him. She laughs begging for him to stop, trying to evade his tormenting fingers. They both are breathless their bodies brush against each other their senses are high and the desire sparkling in their eyes. He stops abruptly, his hands on her hips gripping them, pressing into her and her eyes go wide meeting his intense gaze. She can feel him thrusting inside of her, not letting go of her gaze, mesmerizing her by this animal desire for her, rippling through him. Taking her, fast and rough, holding her gaze all the time until she arches her back pulsating around his throbbing member.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) ~

As all Beckett appearance, he is making sure that his pubic hairs are carefully trimmed for Maeve. Also, he never asked her to wax for him, but she loves the look on his face when she is bald and wet for him, and the feeling of his tongue licking her folds.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)  ~

They are both very romantic and can’t get enough of kissing each other. Also, Becket almost always calming her after she gets really intense orgasm, what happens often thanks to him. He gently wraps his arms around her kissing her forehead and whispering to her how much he loves her, shushing her, making her breathing and heartbeats to calm down.

Beckett pounded inside Maeve like a furious beast, taking her deeper, rougher and harder. His eyes not leaving her half-lidded, her lips are parted, her breath coming in panting and her pussy is so inviting for him. He can see her hands gripping on the sheets under her and her tight wet pussy starting to pulsate around his throbbing member. He can still hear her screams muffled by his shoulder, feeling like an intense orgasm starts to shook her, rippling through her body. He cups her cheek softly, his lips find her, murmuring softly against them, calming her down, stroking gently her hairs, while the other hand tightens around her. He tenderly tucks a loose curl, behind her ear, kissing her lips, feeling her heartbeats starting to slow down and her body relaxes under his gentle touch, calming and soothing her.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) ~ 

Beckett usually jacks off if he didn’t see or wasn’t intimate with Maeve for a couple of days. While he is with Maeve he doesn’t need to masturbate as often as he used to, but occasionally he still does this to take off the steam, and when she is not around to help him. He doesn’t care where to do this, but usually, it is either in bed or in his office. Also when he does this he always fantasies about Maeve and what he wants her to do.

Meanwhile, Maeve can last much longer without masturbation, and do this on a couple of occasions when they were separated. Also occasionally she may give Beckett a show either on webcam when he is on a business trip or a private show at their place. Usually, if she gives him a private show this ends up with them having sex afterward as by the time she finishes he is rock hard for her dripping pussy.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) ~

Beckett and Maeve have several kinks. One of them is when he ties Mae up on the bed be it on her back or in a doggy style position, legs wide open and tied to the bed, a mask covering her eyes. The only thought of her restricted like this, open and vulnerable, makes him stir in his pants every time, throbbing almost painfully. When they tried this for the first time she thought that she may fall into a million pieces from a single look at him looming over her, panting heavily, his chest falls and rises, his pupils dilated making his eyes look black.

Maeve obediently followed Beckett into their bedroom, when he opened the door gently pushing her in, a gasp of surprise escaped her throat. The room was dim, but tens of tea candles made it look like a night sky with sparkling stars. The smell of freshly cut flowers filled the room making her head spinning lightly. They just came from their fifth Anniversary celebratory dinner, and she still wore a black lacy dress that hugged her figure like a glove barely covering her ass. Beckett was clothed in the charcoal three-piece suit with a white shirt and silver tie that perfectly suited his eyes. He tenderly hugged Maeve from behind, closing his eyes and inhaling her sweet aroma.

- Happy Anniversary, my love, - he murmured kissing her behind her ear turning her gently to face him, - Can I? - he asked in a shaky nervous voice taking out the silky material from the pocket of his pants.

- What are you...? - her eyes widened from a feeling of silk sliding against her bare arm.

- Shhhhh, - he breathed out his fingers pressed to her lips softly, his eyes burning with desire as obsidian stars, sliding to her lips, - Do you trust me?

- You know, that I do, - she whispered almost breathing out the words, - I would trust you with my life... over and over again..., - their eyes met in a silent understanding making him fall in love with her all over again, wanting to kiss her and make love with her, but today should be all about her... all about them will be later.

He placed the mask making her surrender to darkness, leading her to their four posters bed. His hands tenderly caressing her exposed skin, placing gentle kisses along her palms raising higher along her arms to her slender neck. Her breathing hitched the closer he came to her lips, but instead of feeling his lips on hers, he slowly began to slide her dress down leaving her bare in front of him, feel his manhood immediate stirring inside his pant, but trying to ignore. “Today is all about her,” he thought, closing his eyes for a moment licking his dried lips.

He picked her up in bridal style gently lowering her on the bed, his fingertips sliding over her belly, over her hips, along her long legs, making her gasp from his touch. Her feelings higher than they ever were, she can feel his hands reach her ankles caressing them before a silky material was wrapped around them. She gasps feeling her leg get tied to one of the sides, feeling Beckett’s breath on her other ankle kissing her there before tying it to the other side. Slowly he raises up kissing her bare skin inch by inch, missing the spots she wants him to kiss the most feeling her center aching for his touch even more from this sweet torture. She moaned feeling him settling between her legs, his hands making their way up along her arms, his fingertips barely touching her skin. She can feel his hands reach her wrists kissing each of them before tying her to the bed. His frame hovering over her his hungry eyes roaming over her body under him, his breath is heavy and he can feel his dick is painfully hard in his pants. He inches closer to her his lips grazing along her face down to her collarbone, leaving wet kisses along her neck. His breath is hot against her skin and his touches so tender and tenderizing slow, that it sends waves of pleasure through her. She can feel her breath quickening, a pulse starting to race faster and her heart seems to jump out of her chest. She could feel him savoring every single inch of her body kissing, licking, nibbling on it, making her arch her back toward him wanting to get closer to him as possible. His lips are following the trace of his fingertips making her shiver, moaning louder and wriggling under him staying completely at his mercy. The tip of his tongue slowly circling one of her nipples, making her moan loudly under him. His arm kneading another breast sucking on it hungrily feeling her taste inside his mouth, groaning in overbearing pleasure. He sucks on her nipples, circling his tongue around them, alternating between licks and gentle bites, massaging her soft breasts. He could feel what effect he has over her and it makes him almost burst inside confinement of his trousers, barely able to constrain himself anymore. Groaning and moaning against her skin. Maeve can feel Beckett aching for her, his dick throbbing against her leg while he licks her flat belly lowering himself toward her center finally ready to comply with their desires. Her senses are so heightened that when he finally buries himself between her legs, licking and sucking on her sensitive nub her deafening scream of pleasure cuts through the air of their bedroom. Emboldened by her reaction he slowly slipped the finger inside her folds, murmuring against her slit, sending a shiver of pleasure through her body, circling the tip of his tongue around her swollen nub. Adding another finger inside her watching her arching toward him wanting to take more, much more than this. In a moment the third finger joins the others and as slowly as possible he starts to pump her, entering her again and again. He can hear her gasps and moans, mewling under his touch, changing his rhythm and pumping faster inside her, but still not ready to send her over the edge. His thumb brushing over her pearl. His moans reverberating against her, making her hips lift on their own still not enough, still wanting much more from him. He slowed, feeling the pleasure building inside her body ready to burst free, but still not ready to let her do this. He stops, feeling her edging to the climax, letting her calm down, raising up to capture her lips with his. She could taste herself on his lips, moaning against him. He murmurs softly against her lips, calming her down, stroking gently her hairs. He tenderly tucks a loose curl, behind her ear, kissing her lips again losing the mask and slipping it from her eyes making her blink once. Her heart almost jumping out of her chest watching his eyes so close to hers, black with desire, copying hers. Not letting go of her gaze he slowly unbuckles his pants letting them go on the floor, making her watch him taking off his tie, followed by the jacket and waistcoat. Finally taking off his shirt and boxers. Her gaze followed down her body and she groans watching him settling between her legs, teasing her dripping wet folds with the tip of his throbbing dick, rubbing against her making her lift her hips impatiently. His dark burning eyes meeting her and he plunged the cock deep inside her wet and ready pussy making her cry out arching her body and clenching her fists. Their breathing rasped, his moves hips slowly, entering her with tenderizing slow pace trying to hold back, making her cry in pleasure. Beckett's hand reaching down between their heated bodies, finding her clit, rubbing her sensitive nub. She could feel waves of pleasure rising in her, blinding her intensely and before she knew it she was shuddering and crying out his name, her walls clenching around him, again and again, bringing him toward his own release. He could feel the heat spreading inside his belly and his balls tighten. Beckett groaned entering her slowly for the last time before his hot seed spilled inside her. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) ~

They don’t have favorite locations, or at least they say so, trying to convince themselves that for both of them the most important are the sensations they are having and the atmosphere. But usually, this is their home or Beckett’s office, any surface or against the wall/door/ bookcase. Also occasionally they may get caught in a moment, and have each other without a second thought of being discovered.

Also if you have a glimpse in their heads you will be able to see that Beckett’s favorite location was the library after months apart, the memory that still haunts his dreams and makes him blush, but despite the fact that he will reject it to the last breath, he would love to repeat this with Maeve.

A favorite location for Maeve that she will always reject was in the lift in Beckett’s office in London. They didn’t see each other in a month so it was quick, desperate and rough. And the way their eyes met in the lift’s full-lengths mirror made them both explode in an instance.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) ~

Beckett gets turned on by almost everything in her. Her scent, her taste l, her every deliberately slow movement make his blood boil and his pulse race quicker. He loves it when she brushes up against him and their eyes meet. Every time she bites her lower lip fluttering her eyelashes makes him hard. And when he notices her not wearing panties under her ultra short skirts he ready to take her straight away. She gets turned on when he slowly walks her backward in some dark corner at some party he didn’t want to come to, his eyes fixed on her lips all the time before pressing her to the wall or a bookcase, heavily making out with her. She loves the way how protective he gets over her, and when he murmurs to her in a possessive husky voice that she is only his.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) ~ 

Beckett never would hurt Maeve, also BDSM is a hard pass for both of them. Beckett may be a bit dominant and they love it a bit rough sometimes, but nothing too heavy and nothing that may cause pain or even slightest discomfort to Maeve. Maeve also doesn't like for Beckett to be submissive to her, what is definitely turn off for him also. Plus on top of this, they would NEVER share each other and this goes without a question for both of them.

One more thing for Beckett was that he struggled with intimacy during Maeve’s pregnancy, he was too scared to harm her or baby that he didn’t want to have sex at all, but at the end of the day, he couldn’t resist Maeve’s charms.

Maeve was 6 months pregnant and her hormones just skyrocketed every time when Beckett was near her. She turned her head watching him peacefully asleep feeling desire raising in her. They didn’t have sex for a month and it made her crazy, every attempt to get intimate ended up by him almost running from the room. She smiled mischievously at him knowing that this time he will be not able to resist her. She slowly moved her hand under the blanket covering them, cupping his crotch and massaging his balls, feeling him hardening under her touch. She could feel him shifting in his sleep moaning quietly before his eyes parted, still heavy with sleep.

“Mae, what are you think, are you doing,“ he groaned, trying to remove her hand gently from him.

“I think you know perfectly well what I’m doing,“ she giggled starting to stroke him lightly, moving her hand up and down his length, making him groan louder thrusting his hips into her hand involuntarily. 

“Please, stop... I... we...“ he tries to resist her of last strength, placing his hand on hers and removing it firmly from his shaft, but what he sees next breaks his heart. He can see her lips start to tremble and tears starting to run down her face, “Mae, please don’t cry. What have I done?“

“You...,” sniffed Maeve before continuing, “you don’t want me. You... you don’t love me.“

“Mae, this is not true. You definitely can seeб how much I want you,“ started Beckett sitting up waking up completely and cupping her cheek looked her deep into eyes, “You know it’s not true. You are the only woman I ever loved and you are the only one who I want constantly. But...“

“But what?” pouted Maeve, “Am I fat? Not attractive anymore?”

“No... no... you are... you are pregnant.”

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) ~

Beckett would lie if he would say that he doesn’t love to be on receiving side. First time Maeve gave him a head in the library left him speechless and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. He loved how her tongue moved against his flesh, how she stroked him and how she barely was able to fit him in her small palm. When their eyes met his heart almost stopped, seeing the burning desire in her earthy eyes and in this moment he knew that she wanted him as much as he wants her. The way she let him take control over her, made him spill his seed almost immediately inside her throat, the one that squeezed him stronger and stronger every time he thrust in. But despite the fact he loves Maeve giving him a head, he always goes down on her first, always wanting her to be the one who came first. The way she screams his name gripping his hairs while he licks her folds pounding her with his fingers coated in her juicy nectars makes him want to pleasure her more and more.

Maeve loves to give Beckett a head, she loves how rough he gets in these moments. She gets so wet by the way he looks at her on her knees either when his back pressed to the wall or when he sits in the chair. It makes her so horny when she sees how much control she has over him at this moment. Also, she loves the taste of him when he comes filling her mouth completely making her swallow or when he shoots his seed straight into her throat. As much as she loves giving Maeve loves to be on receiving side as specially if the one who goes down on her is Beckett Harrington. He is so good at what he is doing that at this moment she just forgetting where she is or who she is. Thanks to hours of research (and yes, he did some research) and some practice he is very great with his tongue and fingers. Although before Maeve he never wanted to please anyone so badly, he still got some practice that was bettered to make sure Maeve will be thoroughly satisfied when the time will come.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) ~ 

They can be both fast and rough or slow and sensual. It usually depends on the atmosphere or location where they are making love. If this is a romantic setting they go slow, taking their time, kissing and making love to each other. Usually, Beckett loves to make Maeve come at least once before they actually have sex. This usually happens either in their bed or near to the fireplace on the floor padded with a lot of pillows. But if they were apart for a couple of days they get fast and rough not able to get enough of each other. Also, in this case, place or atmosphere doesn’t matter as they just give up to passion when the opportunity and their desire struck.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) ~

Beckett prefers to take his time with Maeve, slowly exploring her body, making her fall apart under his touches multiple times But when they don’t have time quickie is also an option. Also, he finds quick penetration or blowjob acceptable and enjoyable for both of them.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) ~

They are not too much into public place sex especially because they both are quite loud during a climax. But on a couple of occasions they were caught in a moment, but thankfully never discovered.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) ~

Beckett can go rounds and rounds with Maeve needing little time to get ready again. He is young and thirsty and he definitely wants to impress and please the girl he loves. During intervals between rounds, they usually kiss and he may occasionally give her another round of penetration or lick her folds if she is ready and rested enough from the previous climax. He would be able to go whole night wearing them both off before getting completely satisfied, but more importantly making sure and taking care of Maeve’s satisfaction. But if we are looking at their usual nights he tries to satisfy Maeve at least 2-3 times, before falling asleep with her in his arms. If they had very big gaps between rounds he may go even more, until she starts to beg him to give her a break, what happened only on a couple of occasions.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) ~

Maeve has a couple of toys, but they never used them together in bed, although Beckett fantasized of her using rabbit vibrator in front of him from the day he finds out, she has one. One birthday she surprised him by wearing butterfly vibrator and giving him a remote control letting him take complete control over her. He used every single opportunity to use it. Also making her come during the taxi ride after their birthday's dinner with friends, smirking at her. He could notice the characteristic signs of her approaching climax by how tightly her jaw was clenched and breath quickened.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) ~

Maeve is a tease. She never will turn down the opportunity to tease Beckett be it a romantic dinner, gathering of friends, Beckett’s office or the privacy of their home. Even used to hers teasing, Beckett always becomes red in the face or feel this familiar tingling when the tips of his ears turn pink in color.

Beckett isn’t as good at teasing as her, although he loves to bring her closer to orgasm before leaving house making her crave for more. Or murmur what he will do to her when they will get home. Although he never teased her physically in public as he knows this will ends by him blushing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) ~

Beckett could feel her coming around him, squeezing his throbbing dick tightly with muscles of her pussy. He captures her lips with his in a fiery kiss muffling her loud screams, feeling his own release following her, groaning loudly inside her mouth before spilling his hot seed inside her womb. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) ~ 

After him pretending to be Professor Harrington and Maeve to be his flirtatious student during their “roleplay” for Aster’s and Atlas’ benefit, Beckett couldn’t get this out of his head in weeks. He got hard in his pants every time from the single thought about repeating this roleplay in their dorm room's privacy. Until one day he finally managed to make his fantasy reality with Maeve's help. When he has seen her on his dorm's threshold he thought he lost all ability to breathe. She was wearing a little plaid skirt, white blouse tied under her breasts and her long hairs were in two high ponytails. And when she started to flirt with him calling him Professor Harrington, this made his eyes go dark and his blood boiled inside his veins. The only thought of her thinking about this too thrilled him and he could feel his dick gone rigid just from the only thought of taking her hard on his office table while giving her a lesson she missed. Later fucking her hard in the mouth holding her ponytails with one hand and guiding her, he thought one more time how lucky and in love he is with this gentle, soft and passionate girl standing in front of him on her knees.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) ~ Beckett has a big cock about 7″, thick but not painfully thick. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) ~ 

Beckett’s yearning is high and he definitely thinks about Maeve every time they are apart, what thankfully happens rarely. But no matter what, he still can manage for several days without any. If he doesn’t have sex for a day or two for some reasons, he takes care in his “own” hands. But as soon as he can have his wife he doesn’t let her out of bed for several days as he seems to be not able to satisfy his craving for her body, for every single part of her body.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) ~ 

Beckett gently wraps Maeve into his embrace, kissing the top of her head, feeling her heartbeats and breathing calming down. He can feel her snuggle closer to him drifting to sleep, her hand pressed on top of his heart, soothed by his heartbeats. He watches his wife peacefully asleep in his arms before closing his eyes and following her in the realm of Morpheus with a soft smile playing on his lips.

#the elementalists #te #playchoices #playchoices fanfic #beckett harrington #beckett x mc

[crystallized-iron]

Bite Me - Chapter Six

Please read the tags on the Masterlist! Masterlist

***** ***** *****

He should be afraid. He should be terrified.

The sound of his own blood being taken should make him panic, but there was a sudden sense of calmness washing over him.

And then Bucky stopped and pulled away.

Tony felt lightheaded, the world spinning around him. He tried to look at Bucky and lost his balance.

Bucky caught him with ease while he licked his lips. “You taste far better than I ever expected, Tony.”

“W-what?”

The vampire wore an almost shy smile. “Maybe I am a little biased though. I already knew you to be a sweet man, and now I can say the taste of your blood reflects that.”

Tony tried to make sense of what he was hearing, his hand slowly reaching for the mark. It wasn’t like what he feared to find. Where he expected something large, similar to maybe a dog’s bite, he found two tiny puncture wounds, so small they were almost barely there at all. They were still a little wet, but just.

“It will scar,” Bucky told him, “but you’ll be fine.”

There were traces of red on his fingertips when Tony pulled his hand away.

“I won’t harm you more than that bite,” the vampire promised.

Tony’s eyes met his. “How… h-how is it possible? A vampire?”

This isn’t possible. This isn’t happening. It just can’t be.

Maybe he hit his head when he fell out of the car. Maybe he was dreaming. There couldn’t possibly be any actual truth to vampire stories.

“I don’t know,” Bucky answered. “I still wonder how myself.”

Slowly eyeing Bucky, Tony asked, “How long have you… I mean… when did you -”

“It was so long ago, I don’t remember.” Bucky gave him a sad smile. “The transformation, though… everything hurts. It’s like you’re on fire.”

“Fire?”

“You aren’t literally burning,” Bucky clarified. “But it does feel like your blood is boiling away. I don’t recommend it.”

“Believe me, I… I wouldn’t want to try it.”

“That’s what a lot of us say at first.” He caressed a hand over the mark he made on Tony. “Problem is, if you’re afraid to die, you just might say yes.”

Tony licked his lips as he met Bucky’s eyes, but held himself back, his face heating. “Is that what happened to you?” he whispered while trying to rein in his desire.

“Sort of.” Bucky pulled his hand away with a sigh. “I wanted to protect someone, so I begged for it.” His gaze went downward as he added, “I ended up killing her myself.”

“Her?”

“My sister.”

Tony was about to ask more but the sudden jingle coming from his pocket made him jump. He pulled his phone out and checked the caller ID. “Alright if I answer? It’s my friend.”

Bucky hesitated before giving him an answer. “You can… if you must.”

“Buck?”

“Don’t want the world knowing,” came the quiet reply.

“Oh. No, I… I won’t tell him. I doubt he’d even believe me if I did.” Noticing Bucky’s tense posture, he added, “I’m not mentioning it anyway. Promise.” He stepped a little away and answered the call. “Rhodey, hey.”

“Hey, you alright? You got pretty messed up last night. I told Pepper you were probably fine, but she insisted I call and make sure.”

Tony nodded along, shivering when the wind began to pick up. “Oh. Yeah, I, I-I’m fine.” He watched Bucky start going back the way they came. “Perfectly… perfectly fine.”

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Rhodey, really.”

“You were stuttering.”

“I-I’m outside in winter. It’s cold. The wind i-is blowing.”

“No hangover?”

“This morning. It didn’t last.”

“Okay.” There was a pause. “But, Tony, I know you, remember? When you say you’re ‘perfectly fine’, it means there’s something wrong.”

“This time I mean it.” Another gust had him wrapping his free arm around himself and he looked to make sure Bucky was still in sight. “I-I p-p-promise.”

He could hear Rhodey’s sigh, followed by muffled speaking before Pepper was on the line instead. “Tony, where are you? Are you at home? Can we check up on you?”

“I’m not home, P-Pep. I’m out with someone.”

“What? Who? You met someone? Please tell me you aren’t seeing a coworker, Tony.”

“D-definitely not a c-coworker,” he told her.

“Can we meet him?”

He peeked over at Bucky again. “Actually, you… y-you’ve already seen him b-before.”

“We have? … Oh, Tony, no. The guy from last night?”

“Y-yeah. We met up, been, u-uh, talking.”

“He’s just going to upset you again.”

“Probably,” Tony muttered. He narrowed his eyes when he realized just how calm he actually was. He should be upset. About all of it. In fact, he had been before the bite. Then he was just… calm. “It’s… i-it’s very compli-c-complicated right, right now.”

“You should just leave him like he did you last night.”

“I’ll t-think about that, P-Pep,” he said with a smile.

“No, just do it. Rhodey and I will come get you.”

“We took my c-car. But thanks.”

“Seriously, Tony. You don’t need to settle for guys that are going to treat you like that. You’ll find someone better, I know it.”

“S-s-sure.”

“Do you believe me?”

“Not really.”

“Tony.”

“I need to g-get going, Pep. You and Rhodey should go out… h-have a good time, alright?”

“Only if you come with us.”

“I meant… you t-two should have a n-nice d-date.”

“I don’t care what you meant. We’re worried about you.”

“I’m -” out with a vampire that may or may not kill me someday - “safe.”

“Yeah, that sounds real convincing.”

“Hanging up now,” he warned, already starting to head Bucky’s way.

“Fine, but at least call us later.”

“Will do, bye.” He ended the call, sliding the phone back into his pocket.

He shivered again as he reached Bucky, now able to wrap both arms around himself. Tony knew they were worried, why wouldn’t they be? Something was going to go wrong, probably ending in his death.

The two of them went back to the car in silence.

“You have good friends,” Bucky finally said.

Tony side-eyed him. “Were y-you listening?”

“Not intentionally. My hearing is too good. I tried putting more distance between us but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want you to think I was just leaving you again.”

“A-are you going to k-kill me instead?”

“Tony, I already told you -”

“That you won’t h-hurt me more than that b-bite? Right, like I really b-b-believe that.”

“Do you want me to hurt you, Tony? Is that something you’re into?”

Tony stared at him a moment before shaking his head. “Don’t ask about what I, what I m-might be into unless you’re a-actually s-serious about something long-term.”

“You think I’m not?”

“I d-don’t know what to think.”

Bucky took his hand, pulling Tony closer as they stopped at the car.

===== ===== =====

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#winteriron #Tony Stark #Bucky Barnes #vampire au #vampire Bucky

[littledreamybeth]

Abused

Hey guys, for this imagine I was inspired by @harry-writings. Hope you’ll like it! Feedbacks are appreciated! GIF is not mine!!!

Trigger warning: mentions of abusive behaviour and physical assault such as stabbing. Read at your own risk!!!

Y/N finally arrived home after a long day at work. Her whole body felt very limp from the constant up and down running from office to office. She really craved for a relaxed time on the couch with her loving boyfriend Harry, cuddling against him and watching some TV while he gave her all the attention she needed.

As soon as she closed the entrance door to her house, she took her shoes off and placed it right next to Harry’s Chelsea boots. A nice and hot bath would do her good to calm her senses, she thought.  It felt like she had been run over by a car- that’s how exhausted she was. Even though she loved her job as a designer, there were still times in which her work was extremely tiring and stole all her energy.

She went straight to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and once she opened it, she chugged down the whole liquid with one go. She positioned the empty bottle on the counter table, when she heard someone whining upstairs. Furrowing her brows, she went up the stairs to check up if Harry was present. The whining turned into heavy sobs, and it sounded very like Harry, which made her even more concerned. She had no idea he was at home.

When she opened the door to her bedroom, she was confronted with an image she had never seen before.

Harry was kneeling in front broken pieces he desperately tried to put together. Tears streamed down his angelic face, and he seemed very frightened. No wonder- it was Y/N’s favourite vase her grandma had gifted her before she passed away, and it was a very unique object for her. But now all that remained were a pile of broken pieces. Y/N couldn’t tell what hurt her more. The fact that her favourite vase was broken or the fact that Harry was crying over it because he had accidentally knocked it down.

“Harry?” Y/N choked, her heart wrenched at the sight in front of her.

Once Harry lifted up his head and looked at her, his eyes widened and showed a very obvious hint of fear. His tongue felt like it was knotted, and he had absolutely no idea for an explanation. He did not intend to break something valuable to his girlfriend, and he knew he could never replace it, which made him feel more remorseful. His vision was clouded by tears, his cheek red as a tomato, and his lips were all bitten. He looked like a lost, helpless puppy.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to croak out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

He repeated this sentence all over again, supported by another wave of heavy sobs.

Y/N just realised his fingers bleeding by the pieces he tried to seat together. She instantly went towards him to prevent that he cut himself even more. She wanted to grab his hands into hers and examine his injured fingers, however, she was baffled when Harry suddenly raised his arms in front of his face to use it as a shield against her in order to protect himself. His action put a stab right into her heart. Was he thinking she was going to hurt him?

“Harry, you’re injured. Please, baby, I just want to help.”

She put her hands on his arms to break down the wall he had created. Harry had still not calmed down- quite the opposite, his crying worsened. His breathing was ragged, and he had struggles with inhaling and exhaling. Y/N could not comprehend why he was having a break down over a simple vase, but she needed to find a solution to calm him down or he would have a panic attack instead.

“Harry…” She cupped his cheeks gently. ”Harry, darling, relax. Relax, it’s okay. I’m not mad.”

“D-don’t h-hurt me p-please,” he choked and closed his eyes tightly, his voice trembling due to his crying.

“What?” Y/N was left breathless for a second, but she managed to keep her composure immediately. Why on earth would she hurt him? There was no way she could ever lay her hands on him. Even if she would have been angry with him over something, there was no possible way she would ever hurt him.

“I will never hurt you baby, I promise but you have to relax, okay? Can you do that for me?” She gave him a tender kiss on his slight sweaty forehead. 

“I need you to breathe in and out, alright? Breathe in, breathe out,” she instructed until Harry’s crying ceased, and his breathing reached its normal pattern again.

“We need to clean your fingers, babe. Come on.”

She gently helped him up and steadied one arm around his body, leading him to the bathroom. Then she placed him carefully on the edge of the bath tub while she was looking for the first aid kit. Once finding it, she grabbed the utensils that were required and made her way back to Harry. He had his head kept down intentionally as he was ashamed to look at her in the eyes. It really broke her, it really broke her that he was afraid of her for a reason she couldn’t understand.

She grabbed tiny spray bottle of alcohol and positioned herself between his legs. First she checked if there were any remaining from the crushed vase but luckily there was none. The cuts weren’t quite deep. 

“This may sting a little, hun,” she warned him and began to clean his fingers. Harry hissed at the burning sensation, clenching his teeth together. “Hold on, Harry. I’m almost done.” After sticking a plaster on each injured finger, she gave some soft kisses on his knuckles.

“Are you feeling better now?”

She only received a nod from his side.

“Harry, look at me,” she spoke gently, but it was yet an order. Reluctantly, Harry raised his head, and their eyes met.

“You don’t hate me, do you?” Harry whispered quietly but loud enough for Y/N to hear it.

“Why would I hate you, Harry?” she questioned.

“Because I broke your favourite vase.”

“That’s no reason for me to hate on you, my love. I would never do that to you. Wanna tell me the reason why you were overreacting?”

Harry’s heart began accelerate, and Y/N noticed him panicking again. She ran her hands through his hair. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“C-can we go downstairs, please?” Y/N accepted his plea and took his hand into hers as they went down the stairs. Arriving at the living room, they made themselves comfortable on the couch, Harry leaning against Y/N’s chest. The constant fondling on his hair set him into a calming mood.

“My ex abused me,” Harry confessed. Y/N’s heart stopped for a moment.

“She used to do that a lot. It started very harmless. First she would ignore me when I did something wrong according to her, followed by constant yelling and screaming. One day, she just hit me because I forgot to buy her the chocolate bar she was craving for. “

Y/N was shocked about what she was hearing. How could a cruel person do that to an angel-like human being named Harry?

“Another time she shoved me down the stairs while arguing, and I ended up having concussions and a broken arm. I was damn lucky though, it could’ve been my neck.” 

Y/N could not imagine how her life would be if Harry died that day. She would have never met a unique person with a heart so pure and kind. She would have never woken up with a smile covering her face and gone to sleep happily in his arms.

“Have you ever reported her?”

“No, I never did anything because I loved her. I loved her enough to endure the pain she was causing me. I loved her enough to believe she would change, but she never did. I really thought I was going to marry her someday. I could see a life with her. I did everything to avoid any arguments but it never worked out. Every day she would humiliate me, telling me how worthless I was. She told me I did not deserve to live, and how happy she would be if I was dead. I never believed anything she said, I continued loving her until there was nothing I could give her anymore.”

Tears developed in Y/N’s eyes. Now she could understand why Harry was bursting into sobs when he’d broken her vase. He was afraid she could treat him same the way his ex did.

“After a while, the love I was having for her subsided, and I stayed with her partly because I thought I was obligated to stay by her side, and partly because I was afraid of her. I feared that she could come after me if I dared to leave her. Besides, she could be very persuasive. That’s how she manipulated me, making me believe she loved me when there was nothing but hate she was feeling towards me.”

“But how did you managed to get away from her then?” Y/N asked, pressing him closer to her body. After what she had heard, it was her job to take more care of him, making sure he was safe and secured.

“She stabbed me with a knife in front of my friends. She’s in jail now.” 

Y/N’s face turned entirely pale, and suddenly she felt like she was about to puke.

“Where did she stab you?” she asked, trying to swallow the big lump in her throat.

Y/N released him from her embrace so he could show her the place he was injured. Harry pulled up his shirt, revealing his muscled torso. There was a large scar on his left hip. Y/N gently let her finger trail over it. Her heart felt so heavy, and she had no words to explain how bad she was feeling for Harry. But Harry deserved her utmost respect because he’d stood his ground. He was being treated badly, tormented and humiliated too, but he’d still remained strong. He was the strongest young man she ever met.

“Oh Harry,” she sighed. “I promise I’m not like her. I would never do that to you. I’d rather die than hurt you in any kind of way. I love you, darling.”

 She connected their lips to a soft and gentle kiss, pourong all their emotions in it.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I was just doing some cleaning when I knocked the vase down.”

“Stop, Harry. Let’s not talk about it anymore, alright? There’s nothing more important than you are.”

“But it was your grandma’s, and I destroyed it.”

“Babe, she left me more than this behind, so I still have a lot of things that remind me of her. We’re not thinking about anymore, okay? What happened has happened, and we’re not going to dwell in that any further.”

“Thank you, love,” Harry said, offering her a slight smile. “I love you and I’m so happy I met you. You make me wanna live again.”

Y/N opened her arms for him that he could lean against her body again.

“You’re welcome, Harry. I’m happy a met you too. And always remember- I’ll be keeping you safe, no matter what happens.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles one shot #harry styles au

[badhebie]

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

[03-07-2021] Return to the city, which I have left for several years. Bandung. A town I love, which never fails to impress me. The city always has something new around every corner.

Made an appointment to Meet an 'old friend' that I never seen or talking for many years. After talking with shitty and unnecessary chitchat then we moved to an old Kopitiam around Sudirman Street that still amazed me until now.

After many years passed, this old Kopitiam still impress me. The building, the wall arts, the decorations, the ambience, the lighting, even the people coming here still same as in the past. Many old guys and old ladies coming here only for playing capsa, chess or mahjong showdown while enjoying some Coffee or Tea with some Dimsum. They just playing happily with each other. They seems dont care that now already quite late at night. What a moments.. Reminiscing!

After feeling mesmerized, we order some of their Signature Coffee and some Dumplings. I'm shocked to know that their tastes of Coffee is consistency and never change! That's cool!

Because of nowadays I'm enjoying writting about anything, then I tell my friend that I will record all of our chitchat and conversation into an mp3 recording file. So I could make the convo's transcript to fill in into my blog :))

t r a n s c r i p t :

Me : This Kopitiam kinda reminds me about the old times that we always coming here for almost every week with our friends..

P : Ya Ya Ya.. indeed! It is not every week! But twice a week, hahaha..

It's been long story we talking about anything until I tell her about my problems.. she looks kinda shock hearing it all and seems not believe for what happening to me right now.

Yes I told her about my family's matters..

P : Oh.. ( I can see her eyes pouring some tears )

I cannot believe why you have to be an asshole by cheating to your wife? Do you know that what you have done is so heartless and hurts your wife so much? Oh ibie!! I really cannot believe what you have done!! really.. fucking asshole! (I can see some rage on her eyes!)

Me : Well, things happens! My life is fucked. And I really fully regrets! I dont know how to fix this.. Yes I know I have done something terrible.. But at that time, I feels like i lost controls to myself and everything. And at that time I feels like I dont understand myself too..

P : You dont need to make excuse for youself! Wrong is wrong.. You have no reasons to do all this fucking things!

Me : Yes I know.. and I admit that I was an asshole for doing this.. and now i really regretfully for what happened to my family..

at that time, I feels like sometimes my wife didnt love me and sometimes I feels like she never respect me.. I dont know this is only my feeling or my reasons, but yes sometimes i feels like that..

Maybe because Im an overthinker person, thats why that time I lost control to myself and doing all this bad things. But after that i feel regret.. really sad and sorry..

P : Whatever your reasons, bie! What you've done is unacceptable.. Oh I really speechless to you! fuck!

Then, have you apologize to your wife and ask for forgiveness from her? Have you explain everything to her? Are you really feel sorry now?

Me : Yes I do! As a man, I do apologize and ask for forgiveness from her. I even kneel to her to forgive me and give me chance. I dont know how to fix this.. I dont know how to make her forgive me and give me last chance and trust me again that I will never ever doing very bad mistakes again and broke her trust again.

P : Then? Did she forgive you?

Me : No, She is not. She said she cannot give me chance for now and ask me to clear my self out of problems.. at first I was so excited that I thought she is willing to give me chance. I'm doing my best effort to fix everything, I do my best to bring back her trust on me. Until one day I realized that she's only play with my guilt and probably just want to revenge to me. After knowing that, I feels numb and thinking that all my efforts was nothing. What am I trying to fix was meaningless.. Then its time I have stopped all my efforts to fix everything and stop expecting. I feel bad.. really bad!

P : Huh? What do you mean? I dont get it. Why dont you continue to fix with her? Show your fully efforts to brings her back!! Its all your fault then you have to fix!

Me : Yes, at first I will show her my fully effort and Im willing to do anything to fix all of this. Then one day I realized that she was looking for another guys or maybe now she probably having a relationship with someone else already. That day I realized that all she said by saying will give me chance after I clear myself out was only a joke, its fake and just an empty hope!

Can you imagine, if she said will give me chance but in reality she was in relationship with another guy? Then I have to fix what? I have to keep fighting to fix everything when she has already have relationship with another guy? It's unacceptable for me! If she said she will give me chance, she have to wait and look at my progress, she have to let me work my best and wait me until I clear myself out, but what she did is having another relationship with someone else! Then what she said will giving me chance was a fake and its all lie! Am I right? Thats why I'm stopped all of this!

P : Huh? Wait.. wait! I miss something here. So, she said she will give you chance but you have to fix yourself first BUT in reality, she was having relationship with another guy already? So, what I got here is she probably waiting you for fixing yourself but while waiting she has another relationship with someone else? She is having relationship while waiting you?

Me : YES! Exactly! I'm not sure she's already in relationship or still looking for another guy.. but this is so heartless and unacceptable for me! Why dont she just said NO MORE CHANCE for me instead of saying will giving me chance but having another relationship with someone else or looking for someone else? Its does not make sense!

P : If this is the case, then yes.. actually what she have to do is just saying directly to you that NO CHANCES for you. I dont understand her as well.. why she said she will give you chance after you clear yourself out but she is having or looking relationship with someone else.. Haha im curious about it! Well, then its your rights to stop or to keep fighting for her! But I understand you, you will feel hurt when you keep fighting for her while she was having relationship with someone else. Well, my advice is just follow your heart! But if the case is like this, you better pull yourself out of this situation and keep walking.. At least you already did your job, feels regret, apologizing, ask for forgiveness and trying your best to fix everything, eventhough in the end it didn't go as you pleased, but at least you tried. You did a great job, bie!

Me : Yes! I take my punishment already by cannot see and touch my son. As a man, I admit my big mistakes to her already! I feels fully regret already. I ask for forgiveness already, I promise to her that I will never ever doing bad mistakes and broke her trust anymore, I doing everything already to regain her trust! But she wasting all my efforts! She is playing with my feeling by saying will give me chance after I cleared myself out! She gave me fake and empty hope. So i pull myself out and stopped! At least if someday Mica grown up, I can tell him what I did. I can tell Mica that his dad already trying to fix everything but his mom is wasting my efforts and playing with me. So im gonna give up..

*She looks confused, sad, and crying..*

P : Do you still love your wife after what you have done?

Me : Yes I do. I love her with all my heart.. It will and always! I've been fully regret with what I did to her. If I could turn back the time, even it cost my life, then I would.. GIving up didnt means I didnt love her, I just feel tired hurt myself as well.. and I feeling hurts when my efforts wasn't appreciated. Been there, done that! But I will always love her with all my heart and I keep saying sorry to her in my heart and my prays..

P : Im sure you were really miss Mica and your wife.. I can see from your eyes.. it looks empty! You miss them so bad.. (*she looks crying again)

Me : I miss my son for every second of my life.. I never felt this way, missing someone til my heart aches! It really hurt deep inside.. Almost every night Im crying missing my son. What I could do only looking at Mica's photos on my gallery.. No father in this world who is strong enough to bear the pain of missing his child. Its really unbearable for me..

P : Do you try to call Mica everyday? You can video call to him to heal your wound.. Or ask his mom to video call to you everyday if posisble. Or ask her to send Mica's picture for you at least once a day.. Im sure it will not bother her at all

Me : Yes, I do ask her already to send me Mica's picture as much as she can.. but you know what, Pao? I think she trying to separate me with Mica as well..

P : HAH ??!! What do you mean??

Me : Yes, you heard it right! I think she trying to separate me and Mica as well.. Do you know why? I ask her many times already to send Mica's pic as much as she can.. and she said YES, she will try to send Mica's pic as much as she can. But again, in reality she was fake again.. she only send like every 4 or 5 days or even 1 WEEK and only send 1 photos or videos. Do you think its called "AS MUCH AS SHE CAN" ? send pic every 4-5 days and only 1 ? After waiting for every 4-5 days I only got 1 pic or 1 short video.. She can HATE ME as much as she want but she have no rights to separate innocent child to his father, right??? Yes you are RIGHT! Even 1 photo per day it will not bother her at all.. But she just dont want! But she probably busy looking and impress some guys out there instead of sending me some of my Son's photos that I always wait like forever.. sending some pic's everyday not wasting even 1 minutes of her time. But this is about WANT or DONT WANT!

P : WHAATTTT?! REALLY?? Sorry bie.. but in my opinion, no matter how bad the father, every childs in this world is have FULLY RIGHTS to know his/her father! If she doing that, she is FORCEFULLY take Mica's RIGHTS to know you as his father.. she is doing a bad parenting system! How heartless she was.. She take Mica's rights as innocent child to know his father. Well, somehow I feel bad for you bie. You are right, She can hate you as much as she wanted to, but she have NO RIGHTS to force Mica to not to know his father.. Oh my God! Somehow, I got your point when before you said you have your own reason by doing some bad mistakes to her.. Well, I dont know but I got the point somehow! Its only you can feel it.. But it doesnt mean you were right! You are still WRONG by doing the FUCKING BAD THINGS! But I know at least you did a great job by fully regret it, apologizing, and trying to fix with her, even in the end she wasn't appreciate you, at least you try.. a gentleman's job! Standing ovation for you bie..!

P : . . . .

P : As a man and as a normal human being, its OK for you to make mistakes. Learn from it, take lessons from it, and promise for you life that you will never ever do it again. Even you ever failed as a man and as a husband to your loved ones, Im sure that you have fully regret now. But you never failed as a Daddy! Im sure you were being a Super Daddy for Mica! And Im sure, Mica is super love you and proud to you as his Father! You will be a good Dad for him, Im sure of that bie..!

Me : Bad Parenting Systems? Probably yes.. She is forcefully take Mica's right to know me as his father.. Well, if someday Mica grows up, I hope Mica didnt grown up with rage and questioning where is his Dad! Because He will understand when he grows up.. And someday I hope I could explain everything to him what was happened.. At least I have tried everything and its gonna be my reasons to Mica..

P : I feel sad for you bie.. Keep strong and be patients! God will never sleep.. If you feel fully regret and promise to never ever doing bad mistakes again for your life, im sure God will always listens to you and helps you.. keep believe it! Im Buddhist too like her.. so Im sure we belief about Karma. You get your bad Karma already by doing bad on the past. And if she is proven trying to separate Mica from his Daddy, Im sure too she will get Karma too for what she did.. For now you better stand up and keep walking for your life. And love yourself more than before.. Last time we met you look so fat than now.. Now you look losing weight! Remember you have to keep healthy.. Overthinking will make you sicks! Try to forgive yourself.. Try to accept yourself back.. Try to love yourself again.. What's DONE is DONE! you cannot turn back the time, but you can fix it and make it better.. But first forgive yourself and love yourself, so you can stand up and walking again.

Me : Yes I try to walks again.. and now I almost can running again hahaha! But the pain is still unbearable for me for missing my Son every second of my life.. it hurts so much for missing him!

If you were her, would you like to give me second chance for me to fix it? I just want to know from other people's perspective..

P : HAH? If I were her? You mean if this bad things happens to me? Hmmm.. Well, If I was her and this is happened to me, for sure I will very angry, mad, and sad as much as she did, or maybe more than she did. But after that I will heal myself first and think clearly for what I should do. But in my opinion, every people DESERVE a second chance! Especially if we have childs already. For sure in the end I will give you a second chance and let you prove yourself that you will never ever doing bad things again and broke my trust. Because for me second chance is LAST CHANCE! So if this happened again, NO MORE CHANCES for you for your life! But yeahh.. for me every people deserve a second chance! Especially when I see you were really regrets and I can see your efforts to fix everything! Its for me.. But every people's have different minds, so my opinion cannot be used as a standard! But for sure If I were her and I already said I will give you chance, then I would really give you chance and see you progress first.. I will waiting how much you can show and prove yourself to fix and be a better person than before! But for sure I will not looking for other guys while waiting HAHAHAHA.. because I will be honest and pure from heart when I said i will giving you chance.. No FAKE FAKE woyyy! Hahaha..

Me : Here we comes the sarcastic moments, hahaha... But thank you for your perspectives! I hope she could do as you said,, but yeah every people is different!

P : Then dont be too worry bie.. I hope she could opened her heart soon and not thinking only about herself, but about Mica as well.. Mica is still really too little for this! He needs both his Mummy and Daddy on his side. Dont let innocent child be victims from the selfishness of their parents.

Me : Well, I dont know about that.. I feel too tired and almost fully giving up..

P : You can rest a while bie.. And I know for now you were busy and tired with your business hahaha.. congrats anyway! Dont give up bie! Move forward!! I will joins and helps your business.. your coffee bottle is super yummy and your cornflakes is good, especially the peppersalt one! I like it.. No one's here using cornflakes as snacks, thats why I think it looks promising business.. Just dont give up and keep walking! Thats my note! Dont feeling down when sometimes your business is going down.. You need to have a strong mentality build when you working on personal business. Up and down on personal business is normal..

Me : Hahaha thanks! Yes it starting to grows.. I will working hard for it! Woyyy of course its good, it has secret recipes from starbucks hahaha.. Yes yes you have to helps me extent and expand my selling hahaha.. just kidding, Pao! But thank you, you boosted up my mood haha..

P : YEEESSSSSS!!! hahaha sure I will helps you as much as I can, dont worry! haha.. And I will promote it anywhere haha.. soon you will need to open mini factory, hahaha Ameeenn!!!

And dont worry, when I said AS MUCH AS I CAN, I will do and act in real, not only words or FAKE!! hahahahahahaha..

*we both laugh hard on this*

Me : LOL hahaha.. Here we comes again for another sarcastic moments, Hahahah! But Ameeennnn!! Thanks, Pao! I feel lightly after I confess to you all my stories.. wish me better and better OK?

P : Sure!!! Im sure you can..!

The time has passed, It's been 02:50am already. Then I sent her home and I back home as well. Thanks for listening to my vent, Pao! What a day!! Ready to work again tomorrow ^_^

#Spotify

[wlwinry]

are you satisfied with your care?

Happy birthday, @mercurialvoid! Here’s some Arthur & Cath BH6 AU angst (wow, there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say, lol) for you!

------------------------------

Cath could sense Arthur’s worry--neurotransmitter levels fluctuating, indicates hope and fear, elevated pulse--as they carefully guided the pod towards the shining light (four waited on the outside, four brilliant minds that his creator had loved and their boy did too, four minds that had helped stop them when Arthur’s grief drove him mad, four minds that wanted them to come home) of the portal. The world they were in now contained no life, nowhere for Cath to follow the purpose Merlin had crafted for them, but the one beyond that light...the humans there needed him, needed Arthur--and one of them needed the girl in the pod so that their own grief and rage could cease.

Bartra Liones had killed their creator, and Cath had known the beginnings of rage then--but then again, Cath could see more than humans could, and they had seen fury and cold grief and rage, like an untreated wound left to fester. And they had seen Arthur, so furious, so broken, so close to letting his desire for justice turn to revenge, to letting it consume him...but their boy was better than the man who let Merlin Pendragon die to achieve his twisted ambition. Their boy had overcome grief and loss, and had a family waiting for him on the other side.

Their boy, Cath knew even as he followed Arthur’s instructions to the letter, navigating the field of debris from Ludociel’s shining building-turned-battleground, would survive. They would make sure of it, so that the warm feeling that he had come to know as love would not turn to loss and hurt.

“Almost there!” Arthur cheered, one gauntlet-covered hand pumping in the strangely thick air (toxicity: negative, but the air of this strange, colorful world of clouds and mist still was undoubtedly harder to breathe, they’d have to run scans over him once they were out), violet eyes shining as he turned to beam at Cath. That warm feeling flared in their chest once more, and they let gratitude for Merlin’s choice to code them with a capacity for empathy, for emotion and protection, consume them.

Cath was still thanking her as they reached for one of her secret protocols, the words Code: Camelot flashing across their scanner as they turned, shielding both the front of the pod and Arthur as a large piece of debris slammed across their back. It ripped away the armor their boy had so painstakingly crafted for him, and they drifted for a moment as the sensation of shock washed through him. Arthur’s scream drew them back, though, and they let their scanner flicker back on to see him, poised to jump off the pod and reach for him.

(Outside the world of the portal, a vortex was forming as it spun to a close, sucking everything into it. Four heroes hid behind a slam of concrete, one rising as pale gold laser-induced plasma flickered around her hands, the others turning to follow as their own tech--tech useless in this situation--spun around them, the realization that two of their own might not make it out of this alive settling over them.)

Cath ran through the codes Arthur had instilled in them, sending power flickering through to the thrusters. Arthur’s neurotransmitter levels were dropping and rising wildly as their boy sucked in panicked breath after panicked breath. “My thrusters are inoperable.”

“J-just grab my hand!” 

The wild energy levels coming from the portal were climbing; it was closing, and if Arthur was left here--

“Cath, I want you to promise me something.” Merlin’s eyes, bloodshot and tired, found his scanner. Cath tilted their head as she fiddled with a line of code, working on a second chip to add to his healthcare directive. “I...I don’t know, but I have this feeling--I don’t think I have a lot of time left, y’know?” She was rambling now, coding faster and faster; they scanned her quickly, but other than exhaustion, she seemed to be in peak health. 

“I am afraid I do not.”

There was a soft, watery chuckle. “Yeah...I figured. Sorry for asking, darling.” She patted their arm tiredly. “But if--if this feeling I have is right...then I want you to keep Arthur safe. Don’t let him join me for a long, long time.”

Arthur Pendragon, younger brother of his creator, brilliant but wayward, a child genius whose mind raced like lightning and whose tongue could match even Zeldris Asmodei’s. Merlin had coded protection of Arthur deeply into them, and it seemed like she would do anything to keep him safe.

“Arthur Pendragon will remain safe in my care. He will not face death until it comes for him naturally.” For all humans had to die--at least, until some great marvel of science changed that. They ran a swift search, but found nothing but mortality. So he will die, too, someday.

Merlin choked out a laugh, her fingers stilling for the first time that night. “Thanks, Cath.”

“Is there anything more you need of me?”

“No, darling. I’m satisfied with my care.”

Merlin’s first and only order, the one favor she’d begged from them.

Cath’s true purpose, the one they’d chosen so long ago.

I will get you home.

They took Arthur’s hand--so small, so human, able to bruise and heal and break again--and let themselves be pulled over to the pod, swiveling the cat-like ears Merlin had created for him (”He’s gonna get a kick out of this,” they recalled her saying gleefully as she added the tail and red patches). “There is still a way I can get you both to safety,” they told Arthur, even as they braced the arm still covered by a gauntlet against the back of the pod and letting the one operational hammerfist flare to life. One order, one final command to deactivate...one chance to get him home.

And they would. “I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care.”’

Arthur shook his head wildly, neurotransmitter levels suddenly plummeting as understanding gripped him despite the confusion in his eyes. “N-no, nonono, wait, what--what about you?”

“You are my patient.”

“C-Cath--”

“Your health is my only concern.” 

“Cath, s-stop, I’m gonna figure out a way to get us out of here, both of us, just please--”

And Cath believed that he would, that Arthur Pendragon would find a way drag himself out of the place humans called hell, that there would be another way out and that Arthur would find it, somehow. But time was of the essence, time was what they needed, and time was the one thing they didn’t have. “I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care.”

“No!” Arthur grabbed at their shoulders desperately, eyes overbright--tears, Cath realized. Tears. “I’ll think of something, just hold on, I’m not--I’m n-not gonna leave you here!”

“There is no time.” Cath let grief wash over them as tears started spilling down his cheeks. I’m sorry. “Are you satisfied with your care?”

A sob made their boy’s shoulders shake, and he shook his head again. “P-please, no--I can’t--I c-can’t lose you, too.” Arthur’s eyes were wild with grief, with loss and denial...but no anger.

Cath almost missed the anger, because they could see where Arthur would go without it--deeper into himself, into the shadows, until he would end up joining them and Merlin long before his time. “Arthur.” They let their scanner drift shut, picturing Merlin’s face when they’d promised to protect him, the relief and joy that had been there. “I will always be with you.”

His violet eyes widened, hands trembling as he sucked in a shaky breath, before throwing his arms around them. Cath let their scanner--their eyes--drift shut as they carefully removed their healthcare chip, opening their fingers just enough to curl them back around it. If anyone can bring me back, it will be you. They gently wrapped their free hand around Arthur’s back as another silent sob trembled through him. But even if you cannot, know that Merlin and I will be with you, always.

Arthur drew back at last, still shaking, still crying, but with a small smile on his face now. “I--” he choked out, shuffling back a bit. “I’m satisfied with my care.”

Deactivation command given. Beginning unit shutdown in three, two, one...

Cath closed their eyes and pushed the last of his code into the gauntlet Arthur Pendragon had crafted for him, sending their boy off to a world that needed him.

------------------------------------------

“Ow?”

Reactivation command given. Beginning unit startup in three, two, one...

Cath was in the lab--Merlin’s lab--Arthur’s lab?--again, their scanner blinking to life as line after line of shining code dissolved into the place they’d been born (and...reborn?). Violet eyes, warm and hopeful and shining like stars, glowed as they blinked. “I am Cath--your personal healthcare companion.” A shaky laugh, a brilliant smile, and then--

“Hello, Arthur.”

Arthur Pendragon rushed forward with a choked noise, neurotransmitter levels shooting upwards as he threw him arms around them, pulling them into a hug. Cath blinked again, before wrapping their arms around their boy and closing their eyes.

If they were human, they thought, they would’ve been smiling--smiling and crying.

(A brilliant, mischievous laugh echoed through the air, soft enough that both might have imagined it--but the shadow of the golden-eyed woman was seen by no-one as she melted away.)

#nnt #nanatsu no taizai #big hero 6 au #cath #arthur pendragon #merlin #happy birthday abel!! #hope you like <3 #may your day be filled with sweet Arthur and darling Cath!

[treachreous]

HEY GUYS! So i’ve decided to do another one of these (yes I know I did one a few months ago) BUT I promised I would when I reached my goal and i’ve also made so many new friends over the past couple of months!

So here’s to my real friendssssss

I just want to say that I am so grateful to have the followers I do, whether you’ve been with me since 5 years ago or 5 days ago, you are all so kind and loving and really bring out the better person in me. Thank you for making tumblr such a welcoming environment where I feel wanted.

Shout out to these people first of all:

@tehlorswift: JO! Such a lively and vibrant person. Someone who is always willing to talk to me and make me smile. Speaking of smiles, yours is absolutely stunning...don’t ever stop! Thank you for being such a great friend, and you are, by far....my favourite text post creator.

@hopefulswift: You are one of the people I NEED to give a giant hug. We are so alike it’s insane, i’m so very happy that I met you, always sending me the funniest posts, willing to bitch about certain things with me without judging...I love you so much and can’t wait to meet you someday Hope.

@iwishyouwouid: I don’t think I have a friend on here who is as supportive as you Sarah. You are always reblogging things from me, seeking to help me out whenever i’m in need. You have such a big heart and it’s so beautiful, i’m very thankful for all the nice things you do for me and say to me. You are amazing.

@wildesttdream: The photoshop goddess, with complete url goals. A girl who is so kind 100% of the time to everyone on this site. Does not have one bad bone in her body. I get so happy seeing you on my dash, your quality literally blesses everything it touches so thank you. I’m so very happy we are mutuals as well as friends Hannah.

@drugismybaby: Leah i’ve only known you for a short time but it has been a blessing. You are the queen of Don’t Blame Me url’s and the Fearless Icon. I am so happy that we are mutuals. You are so generous and sweet ALL THE TIME. Talking to you makes me very happy. Thank you.

@nessa007: The girl I look up to on here, such quality it actually hurts....but guess what? All that talent but you are still as kind and as humble as anyone on here. I adore you so much and appreciate our little chats. Stay beautiful Nessa.

@enchanteds: Long time amigo, from the start of this blog and hopefully till the end. Next year, if I meet you, i’ll be achieving a life goal. #CatrinaMeetsEm2k18. Thanks for sticking by me for 5 years of trash, true friendship.

@swiftastaylorswift: My favourite guy swiftie, thank you for always talking to me, keeping my entertained all the time with you snapchats and being the most dedicated fan there is. I have never met a guy who loves Taylor as much as you do. I want you to meet her more than anyone else....even myself,

@taylorswift: Hey girl, heard you’re doing better than you ever were. That’s all i’ve ever wanted. Thank you for getting me through shit, might not be here if it wasn’t for you. Thanks for choosing to follow me, seeing you on my dash makes my heart skip a few beats. I can’t believe I get to say “i’m mutuals with Taylor Swift” I think that’s pretty cool. Can’t wait to meet you one day and tell you all of this in person.

and to the rest of you who I love just as much:

A: @accionewyork @actress-bad-dreams @afragileline @aimlocked @alltooalex @almostswift @andreaswifts @anotherdramadrama @andlefthaunted

B: @bananaofswift @beautifulnight @bestapologies @birdcagetaylor @bllankspace @bemyoldselfagain

C: @causeshesdead @calmtaylorswift @cataystrophies @canadaprince @ceshirecatsmile @confesswift @coldhardground @creekbedsweturnedup  @catchmenows @croftlara

D: @dailyswiftgifs @daerjohn @daisyridlay @darkjeans-yournikes @dancinroundthekitchen @dearjohns @dec13th @didsomethingbads @docswiftie @drunkswifts @dressedupnightmare @dwohtt

E: @eyesopen @enchantedswift13 @everythinghaschanged @emilyhoddder @emotionaldamagebytaylor @el-timperator

F: @fadingviews @femmetay @fifteeen @flashbacksandechoes @flowermotifs @foundherselfs @foreverthenames @forcinglaughter @fuckyestaylorswift @fullofswift

G: @getawayscar @getawaysleigh @gonnashakeit

H: @havetobreathe @harley-quinn @hashbrownswift @halfofmyhearts @hadourhandstied @hellagoodhair @hesaid-shesaids @hermionegranget @holdsontoyous @hopeful-swift @hugeselenatorswiftie @hygtg

I: @iconfessbabe @ididsomesthingbad @ifreakinlovetaylorswift @iiinscreamingcolor @illbethe-actress @in-her-wildest-dreams @inadaydreams @inredlipsticks @itwasburningred @iwaspoison @iknowplasces @ikeephimforevers @ikywt @itsddelicate @ialmcstdo

J: @jannieswift13 @justswiftly @jokersdressingupaskings

K: @kaleidoscopeofourmemories @keepcruising @kingofsmyheart

L: @lastkiss @lightsglisten @littleegames @likefireworks @longlivethegirlinthedress @lovetheplayers @loved-and-left-haunted13 

M: @maria-swift @malteserz @margotrobbi @mermaeids @mipsyanddibbles @monica-geller @moshingwithoprah

N: @newsyearsday @nowyourdaisy @no-its-becky @ninetay89

O: @oohiremember @oldfavoritesong @ofbeinghonests @outofsthewoods @ourshandtied @oliviabn @ohshwift

P: @paper-aeroplanes-flying @placeswecanhide @purpleswift @picturetosburn

Q:  @queenslaylor

R: @raeputation @reputatiiiion @ruuthlessgame

S: @sademtytown  @sadnbeautifultragic @screamedsooloud @screamingcoluor @sreverogers @smalltalkdrivingcoffee @speaknowtaylor @shakeitoff @shakeitoffs @shouldve-saidno @suwift @swfift @svifts @swiftbeautifultragic @swiftred @swiftchill @stillgotscars @starstoshame13 @silencebreakertaylor @slaylorr  @swift-kid @swift-ly @swiftsgetawaycar

T: @tayllorswifts @taylorsvift @tayswiftnation @taylorsvivt @taylorswizzle @taylorshwift @teaswift @teylors @teardropsonmyguitar @thelasttime @thesonofneptune @thedirtydirtycheats @trustsnobodys @treacherousswifts @tenerifeseas @thislovesours @thisloveecameback @thirteen-paper-airplanes @totallyswifted @taylorswif-ts @thotjuly9th @taylorswifh @taylorswiftz @taylorswiftnow @tshifty @tylorswft @taylurh @tamenow @thosefinelines

V: @villageisaglow

W: @waitingforyoutowalkin @wegotbillstopay @weemmagooutofstyle @wefoundwondreland @wildestsdreams @wishfulthinkingswift @whyshedisappeared @whiskeyxonxice @whisperaswepass @wearetheffoxes @wespeakred @worthwilefight

Y: @youshouldvebeenhere @yourcoloursfades @youllbeeightynine

Please do not be offended if you are not on here! I follow almost 400 blogs so it would’ve been impossible for me to fit everyone into this post. Just know I appreciate every person in my blogroll

Thank you for a great 5 years on this site. It’s been lovely watching Taylor grow and succeed with you guys. Thank you for liking my blog, I am very happy that you, for some reason, decided to follow me. You must like me for me :’)

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you all, may 2018 be everything you want and more xxx

#follow forever #damn it's 2:30am #why do i do this hahaahahaaha #of course i'd stay up this late for you guys!!! :D

[bethanyactually]

Indepth fandom asks: Rainbow Rowell books

I promise I’m still not ignoring these! :)

Top 5 favourite characters: oh god, this is the hardest question, because I love all of Rainbow’s characters. Uh, okay...Beth Fremont, Lincoln O’Neill, Reagan, Levi Stewart, Park Sheridan

Other characters you like: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder, Christine, Justin, Doris, Eleanor Douglas, Jamie and Mindy Sheridan, Cath and Wren Avery, Art Avery, Georgie McCool, Neal Grafton, Heather, Baz, Simon, Penny, Agatha, Fiona, Ebb, Elena, Gabe, Noel, Mags, basically every other character she’s written.

Otps: All the canon characters, but I probably have the most feels about Beth/Lincoln, Eleanor/Park, Georgie/Neal, and Cath/Levi.

Notps: ?

Favourite friendship: Cath & Reagan, Beth & Jennifer

Favourite family: probably the Averys, with the Sheridans a close second.

Favourite episode: n/a

Favourite season/book/movie: I have a huge amount of affection for Attachments, but honestly, whichever Rainbow book I’ve read---or even thought about---most recently is my favorite. :)

Favourite quote: "There’s no air in space.” “Happily ever after, or even just together ever after, is not cheesy. It’s the noblest, like, the most courageous thing two people can shoot for.” 

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: Honestly, probably just reading Attachments for the first time. I was SO PROUD of Rainbow---whom I’ve known since high school, and whose writing I’ve been a fan of since then---for writing such a great book. :D And still, whenever I see her books in a bookstore or a library, I have a moment. 

When it really disappointed you: Still waiting for an Eleanor & Park movie. Or a sequel. :D

Saddest moment: the end of E&P, even though it’s hopeful. Or Georgie in the airport bathroom, unable to look at photos of her kids on her dead phone, checking to make sure she still had her C-section scars. D:

Most well done character death: Ebb. 

Favourite guest star: n/a

Favourite cast member: I kinda mentally fancast Levi and Cath as Grant Gustin and Candice Patton. :) 

One thing you hope really happens: an E&P sequel someday.

Most shocking twist: that it was Richie writing horrible things on Eleanor’s stuff 

When did you start watching/reading: I read Attachments the day it was released. (And before that, I read Rainbow’s school newspaper columns in high school and college, and her column in the Omaha newspaper.)

Trope you wish they would stop using: ?

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Rainbow has the whole funny/sad thing locked down. Also, her characters feel like real people.

Funniest moments: Cath telling Nick he’s not nearly as pretty as Taylor Swift. Beth daring Jennifer to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them she feels a presence in her womb region. Levi shouting “Fuck you, Flowers in the Attic!” at the asshole in the bar.

Couple you would like to see: ELEANOR AND PARK REUNITED.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Shannon Purser as Eleanor!

Most boring plotline: ?

Best flashback/flashforward if any: I love the multiple narrators in Carry On.

Most layered character: All of them? This is kind of Rainbow’s specialty.

Scariest moment: Realizing it was Richie who’d been writing creepy, threatening notes on Eleanor’s stuff, and everything from there till Park helped her run away. 

Grossest moment: ?

Best looking male: n/a

Best looking female: n/a

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): ?

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: ?

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: For Attachments, it was probably at the mention of Lincoln watching reruns of Quantum Leap. And Chapter 39 definitely made me swoon hard. The following books, I loved them all before I even read them because they were Rainbow’s stories. 

Thanks, anonymous friend! :)

Send me a show/fandom and I’ll answer…

#rainbow rowell #meme #in depth fandom meme #Anonymous

[ficsforfangirls]

A Carry On Dictionary: Letter Y

Letter A     |     Letter B     |      Letter C     |      Letter D     |     Letter E

Letter F (Rated: M)     |     Letter G     |     Letter H     |     Letter I     |     Letter J

Letter K     |      Letter L     |     Letter M     |     Letter N     |     Letter O

Letter P     |     Letter Q     |     Letter R     |     Letter S     |     Letter T    

Letter U     |      Letter V     |     Letter W (Trigger Warnings)     |      Letter X

Letter Y     |     Letter Z

AO3 with the whole collection <3

Summary: Simon might have seemed ordinary but secretly - he's kind of a genius. And a genius in love is the best kind!

Yours, {yorz};

Something which belongs to you

There is a knocking at Baz’s door and while it isn’t unheard of, it is most definitely uncommon. Sporting sweatpants and a jersey for England’s futbol team, he makes no effort to really rush to the door. Whoever it is, though, knocks something like seven more times before he actually swings the door back to greet them. “Yes?”

“Sorry, ugh, but I’m looking for Baz Pitch?” He’s never seen this guy in his life, at least not that he recalls, and it seems the guy feels the same way. “An older gentleman that I used to write asked me to deliver this to Baz Pitch at this address after he died. He insisted that it was six months after his funeral so I waited but then I was in the hospital, so I’m a little late, but I just need to make sure it gets to Baz Pitch. He said Baz Pitch specifically.”

A name comes back to the forefront of his mind: Hayden. For years, Simon would set up pen pal exchanges between foster children and successful adults who were once foster children themselves. On a weekly basis he would give this lengthy speech about how important it was for children to see that success is within their grasp; that they can be happy and achieve their dreams. One young man that he reached out to, Hayden, was particularly receptive, and it was probably the last pen pal he’d had before he took a turn for the worse. “You must be Hayden,” Baz says, voice full and kind. Simon chose him and that must have been for a good reason.

When the smile etches into his features, curling and twisting lips, and eyes shining at the recognition. He probably doesn’t get noticed often. I bet Simon would have loved his smile. Baz knows he does – because it reminds him of Simon. Hayden lifts the envelope straight up and pokes it forward. His fingers graze the side of the man’s hands. “Wow, your hands really are cold as ice.”

It’s curious that Simon would discuss Baz in his pen pal letters but he doesn’t question Hayden about it. Instead, he takes the letter and lets his arm fall limply to his side. Awkward silence tries to claw its way into the conversation but Hayden doesn’t let it stand for very long. “He asked that I stay here when you read it.”

Of course he did. Baz pushes the door open and waves his arm behind him. “Make yourself at home, Hayden. Any friend of Simon’s is a friend of mine.”

Auto pilot guides Baz through making tea, and he pulls out the scones that he keeps in the cupboard. The smells remind him of Simon and it makes the home feel somewhat less empty. Hayden surprises Baz by saying that Simon once sent him a recipe for sour cherry scones, like the ones he used to eat from Watford. “I work at a bakery, you see, and I used to make them all the time for the local homeless shelter. So they wanted me to make something on the spot and I couldn’t stop myself from making those scones. I’m pretty sure Simon Snow is the only reason I can say that I’m a pastry chef.”

Baz is certain that his heart stops beating. Simon was such a good man, and often in ways that he never had the chance to see. “Well, if I have the ingredients, you are welcome to make a fresh batch. I don’t normal food very often…” Then he catches himself. He might not know…

“I know,” he says as though he could read Baz’s mind entirely. “Simon didn’t lie to me. Everyone else did but he promised he never would. Besides, it makes sense doesn’t it? A dragon-human hybrid dating a vampire!”

For the first time in a very long time, Baz actually laughs. When his cheeks fall and his body rests, he seems to understand that it’s time to read the letter. He could do it in the kitchen but something about that doesn’t feel very personal. Maybe it shouldn’t be personal? Hayden sees the debate in his face, apparently, and makes a suggestion, “He thought the couch would be a good place.”

Hello, love.

Hayden knows everything there is to know about you, just in case you haven’t already figured that out. He’s a very good guy and I trust – trusted – him with my heart. Though I never sent a picture of you, I described our life together in great detail and quite often. Someday, I told him, he would need to know so that he could do me the biggest favor I’ve ever asked: save Baz Pitch.

Chances are that things have been rough. Overindulging on deer, slaughtering anything that walks funny in the woods, even probably turning to Agatha’s bar. Yes, I know what it’s become. You didn’t think I kept to myself on the computer all the time, did you? Whatever you’ve done, whatever you’ve been doing – I forgive you, okay? I know how much I meant to you because that’s how it felt for me. Unfortunately, you were the only one who had something to lose by choosing me. I never had to worry about that and maybe that was for the better, because let’s be honest – I would have been a mess. I feel greedy and selfish, but I am so thankful that I didn’t have to be in your shoes.

Forever sounds good on paper but you know too well that forever is too much and not enough all at once. Forever is hell. Nobody in their right mind would want it.

I am not saying you have to move on, because nobody could ever make you do a damn thing you didn’t want to do, but I still want to encourage you to let go of us. Don’t forget us. Don’t let me slip away from your mind. I would never ask you to sweep me under the rug like a dirty secret because we both know that would be the worst kept secret in history. You can’t lock yourself up in the flat and pretend the world stopped turning when I died.  

Six months is how long I decided you would need to be destructive and miserable. Any longer and you might become the monster that haunts your nightmares. And less and you might self-sabotage your way to certain death. So six months – six months to grieve, rage, and adjust – and now it’s time to stand up and dust off. The pain will never go away but I don’t want the pain to take over everything you have left.

And, believe it or not, you don’t have nothing. You have memories. You have money. And you have love.

Please consider this my last request, from beyond the grave, close the book we wrote together and start a brand new one. You have so much to give to this world, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm Pitch, and I would be insulted very personally if you kept it all to yourself in my name.

Go out for drinks with Hayden. Believe it or not, he has a lot more to offer than sour cherry scones. I hear they’re better than Watford’s. Why don’t you go ask him about it?

I love you, Baz. I’ll always be –

Yours,

Simon Snow

There is no way to determine when the tears began falling down his cheeks. Each drop came silently and without warning, almost as if he was just leaking. Lifting his chin carefully, Baz glances into the kitchen where Hayden is moving around effortlessly almost as if he belongs there. In a way, he does. Simon wanted him to feel comfortable with Baz and he wanted Baz to accept him without question.

“Thank you,” Baz says as he stands back up, lifting his right hand to wipe the tears away with his wrist. Hayden doesn’t turn but instead calls over his shoulder that it was no problem – anything for Simon Snow. He had – no, he has that impact on people. Everyone wants to be better just for knowing him.

Baz joins Hayden in the kitchen with the letter hanging from his hand. His heart aches a little but he smiles, and he means it. Simon was right, as he sometimes tended to be about these sorts of things, Baz did not have nothing. Right now – he has Hayden. “Simon says you changed the recipe.”

“I did,” he smirks and it is so sneaky. Baz can feel his heart racing. Something tells him just a split second before Hayden continues that there’s about to be a plot twist. “I work for vampires, you see.”

Goddamn it, he thinks to himself. Without stopping himself and without feeling guilty, Baz puts a hand on Hayden’s shoulder. I never deserved you.

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