#taken from that scene when Bucky is SLEEPING ON SAMS COUCH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heytherejulia · 2 years

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I should have taken care of you ~ James Buchanan Barnes

pairing: tfatws!bucky x mom!reader

warnings: little angst, swearing, baby, mention of bucky's past

summary: your life was peaceful until it wasn't when your baby daddy is back

word count: 2k

author's note: funny thing about this story is the fact that I wrote it way before tfatws came out and I obviously didn't know the plot of the show but I did get main things correct like the fact that bucky is no longer controlled by the winter soldier programme thanks to shuri but anyway enjoy reading xx

You were awfully tired and the only thing you were dreaming about for a whole day was a little bit of rest. You lay on the couch and closed your eyes with a blissful smile. The moment of complete uninterrupted peace felt like a blessing for you. You didn't even notice when you started to drift off.

You were really tired, not only physically but most of all emotionally. You suffered because of him, and there was simply no way you could get the image of Bucky out of your head as you were looking at his miniature copy every singlr day. Rebecca had the same dark hair and the same blue eyes as her father, she even had a few small moles on the side of her face just like him. You loved your six-month-old daughter with all your heart just like you loved James.

Of course you wanted what was the best for him, and if staying in Wakanda was exactly what’s gonna help him, you weren’t opposed to it. You didn't blame him for leaving for Wakanda itself, but you had a hard time accepting the fact that your boyfriend of time disappeared overnight, as you later found out from Sam. Bucky left with no information, no word, not even a goodbye. On top of that, some time later it turned out that you were pregnant.

It was hard for you, you were finising your college degree online, and you worked from home as well, proofreading articles for the newspaper you worked for before pregnancy. In addition to all of that, after you gave birth to Becca you were raising her completely on your own. You were alone on a daily basis. Sure, Sam, Pepper, sometimes even Peter would stop by, but those were just visits. You enjoyed them, you loved your friends and loved your life but sometimes it was simply more difficult than you have ever imagined.

Suddenly the laughter of the little girl and the voice of a man woke you from your sleep. You were about to pick up the vase and use it as a weapon, but realized it was just Sam. You smiled to yourself and entered your daughter's room. What you saw there almost made your heart stop.

‘Hey, Y/N/N.’

Sam smiled at you. You started looking for Rebecca and saw her in Bucky's arms. The man was looking at the little girl with tenderness and delicacy painted on his face. You figured Sam told him that you had a baby.

Finally he looked up at you. You nodded stiffly, smiling slightly. Sam stared at the scene in front of him for a moment, then headed for the door. As he passed you, he kissed your cheek and said he would be back later because he had some errands to run.

After a while you approached the man and took your baby from his arms. You weren't worried about her safety or that Bucky might hurt her. Of course not. You just had to change her diaper. You put Becky on the changing table so you could comfortably change her.

‘Who should I say my congratulations to?’

These were the first words he addressed to you. You sighed heavily.

‘To yourself, if you want to.’

Bucky stood there for a moment, not saying a word. Tears welled up in his eyes.

‘Why didn't you tell me?’

‘How? What do you think I was supposed to do? You disappeared, Bucky, overnight without even saying a word to me. I'm glad you finally accepted help and that you’re doing better, but I couldn't just fly to Wakanda and tell you that you're going to be a father.’

‘I'd come back if I knew. I would take care of you, Y/N/N.’

‘That's the problem, Buck. You needed help, and they were able to give it to you. I don't know how much it really helped, but I know I would feel guilty for ruining your chances to get better.’

You picked the baby up in your arms and left her room.

‘Come on, I’ll make you some coffee.’

‘Can I ... can I hold her?’

His eyes sparkled with hope as he looked at the love of his life and their child. You nodded and handed him the little girl, as you started to prepare the coffee.

‘Tell me about yourself, James.' You asked, turning your back to the counter.

‘Well, they somehow removed the Winter Soldier protocol so he'll never be back again, and I managed to get rid of some of the nightmares that haunted me almost every night, but you knew about them. What about you? Your turn.’

‘I study online, work and look after the baby. My life is by no means fascinating.’

He looked at you and you knew he wasn't satisfied with your answer. You smiled and shook your head. You knew him, maybe not better than Steve did, but well enough to notice his jaw tightening in anger as he asked the question.

‘Do you have someone?’

'I have Rebecca.'

‘I don’t.’

After these words, you heard the front door slam, and as you both realized, Wilson returned. As he entered the kitchen he found his best friend holding his daughter in his arms, and he felt a smile creep on his lips. He was proud of Bucky. He was a pain in the ass but he was glad James was doing better.

***

Around a week after Bucky returned from Wakanda, when you put Becky to bed, you realized you felt even more tired than usual. Buck's return made the order you had built in your life fall apart the moment you saw him in your daughter's room.

Despite the early hour, you took a shower as soon as possible and changed into one of James' t-shirts, which you still had no heart to throw away, and some shorts that served as your pajamas. The T-shirt still smelled of his perfumes and what you could only describe as a Bucky’s scent. You lay down on the bed, wanting to fall asleep as soon as possible. However, you didn't manage to fall asleep because you heard the doorbell. When you opened the door, your baby daddy was standing in front of you, a bag slung over his left shoulder.

‘Can I come in?’

You moved and let the man inside.

‘Are you leaving town?’

You asked as you walked over to your little kitchen. Bucky looked around the room. It hasn't changed since he was here for the last time. Perhaps only a few children's plates, bowls, and bottles have taken the place on your counter.

‘No, but I came to ask you for a favor. Could I stay with you for a few nights? Just for a while, a week or two.’

‘What about the rooms Tony left for all of you?’

Bucky rubbed his face tiredly.

‘I can't live under Tony’s roof. I can't deal with the guilt. Stark may have forgiven me, or so I believe, but still, I find it hard to sleep well with the thought that I am practically living at his mercy. Please, Y/N/N, just a few days, then I'll find myself an apartment and leave you alone.’

You knew he would not leave you alone because he would still want to see Rebecca, and you weren't going to make it difficult for him, you wanted your daughter to have a father, and you always wanted the best for Buck. Because he was, in fact, the best for you, and you still loved him. You weren't sure if you would ever be able to stop having such strong feelings for him, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to.

‘Of course you can stay, but you'll have to sleep on the couch, because I turned the guest room into a room for Becky.’

‘I should have changed it, not you. I should have looked after you. I'm sorry for leaving you without saying a word, but I was afraid, I was scared for your safety.’

‘Relax now, Bucky,' you walked over to him and hugged him, ‘we've made it. Now I'm really sorry but I have to go to sleep. You know where everything is, nothing has changed.’

You woke up a few hours later, realizing that Becca should have already woken up and demanded food, yet the apartment was quiet. When you entered your daughter's room, you saw the little girl in her father's arms. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was calm. An empty milk bottle stood beside the chair where Bucky was sitting. When he noticed you staring at him, he smiled widely at you. He got up and put Becky in the crib and headed towards the door, dragging you with him.

You lay down on the bed and tried to sleep but couldn't. In the silence interrupted only by the sounds of sleeping New York, you heard Buck's heavy breathing, he probably couldn't sleep either.

‘I fed her and I put her to sleep,’ the pride in his voice was palpable. ‘I didn't want to wake you up, you looked tired.’

You whispered ‘thank you’, kissed his cheek and returned to your bedroom. After that, you lay for several dozen minutes, unable to sleep. Finally you got up and went to the living room. Bucky was lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

‘You can't sleep either?’

You asked, coming closer, then sat down on the edge.

‘Yeah,’ he muttered a little sleepily, looking at you. He moved slightly. ‘Lie down, we will try to treat your insomnia with the good old methods.’

You were not convinced by the idea, because while Bucky could make you fall asleep even on completely sleepless nights, you did not want to get that close to him again, even though you loved him with all your heart. However, the thought of falling asleep and resting was more tempting than common sense, so you lay down next to the blue-eyed man and did not even know when you fell asleep.

The next day, you woke up feeling well rested. Bucky wasn't next to you, so you figured he was already up. When you entered the kitchen, Buck was seated at the table, sipping his coffee from a mug with the Captain America shield printed on it. It was a silly joke. The team bought you these mugs with pictures of all the Avengers for Christmas one year. He smiled gently and placed a cup with Natasha's image in front of you.

‘Thank you.’

You smiled when you saw that he still remembered what coffee you liked best.

There was a silence between you, but it wasn't the kind of awkward silence that was impossible to endure. It was the kind of silence that you loved. You just liked hanging out with this man.

You loved his strengths, but even more his flaws. The way he always wanted to take the metal arm off when you went to sleep together or during sex. You’ve never let him do that, though. Just because of the thought of how much he had to suffer to be in the place where he was now, your heart was breaking into a million little pieces.

***

And that’s how things worked between you for the next two weeks. And then the next two months. You slept together, ate lunch, breakfast and dinner together, you took care of Becky, who quickly fell in love with Bucky. You weren’t technically in a relationship, but you acted as if you were. Each day you grew closer to each other, and you thanked Shuri in your heart for everything she had done for your daughter's father.

So, when, after two years, James, sitting on the couch with Rebecca on his lap and you hugged to his side, watching some cartoon, took a ring out of his pocket and said that he could not imagine a life other than this, you couldn’t say no. Because both Bucky and you knew that you couldn't live without each other, and your love was too strong for you both to even try to be apart.

You were arguing, of course you were, Bucky still had days when he would distant himself from you, or nights when he had nightmares and woke up screaming, and you had bad days when you were too tired and frustrated with work, or you got another speeding ticket cuz the cop was a bitch. But despite this, you were just happy together. Together with your daughter and each other. And that was the most important thing. Your happiness.

#bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan fluff #dad!bucky

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forever-rogue · 3 years

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Oblivious

A/N | This is just a little sweet fluff with Buckaroo. It’s also a late little happy birthday for @falcor-thee-luck-dragon! I hope you (and everyone else) enjoys!

Summary | You’d think Bucky wouldn’t be so oblivious but...he was.

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3.9k

Warnings | language

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

James Buchanan Barnes aka Bucky Barnes was a man of many talents and had a vast knowledge of a variety of things. Sometimes, however, things were so obvious and clear that they went right over his head. You could hit him in the face with a 2x4 and he wouldn’t know what happened oblivious. Like the fact that you, his girlfriend of almost a year, had the strange and peculiar ability to communicate with animals. You’d never hid it, nor explicitly told him about it, thinking it would be funny to see how long it would take him to catch on. 330 days (and counting) in and he hadn’t.

Bucky grabbed his phone, scrolling through his social media feeds quickly before pulling up Spotify and turning to his secret indulgence playlist - classical Italian Opera. Yeah. It was just a thing he had happened to really like for no particular reason. The only other living souls in his apartment with him were Archie, your black and white speckled mutt and Alpine, Bucky’s snow white cat. You were currently out of town for work and had asked Bucky if he minded watching Archie, to which he had of course said yes. It was no secret that Archie loved Bucky almost as much as you and vice versa - he was the goodest boy as Bucky had proclaimed. Plus, the cat and dog got along like they were old best friends.

Trailing into the bathroom, he stripped off his t-shirt and pajama pants as Archie laid on the bed and offered him a dismissal look. Alpine was tucked into his side as she slept soundly, paying no attention to her owner.

As he turned on the shower and let the water warm up, he finished stripping off his clothes before deciding to sing along with his music as best as he could. Bucky didn’t speak Italian. It showed. But he was passionate about giving it all as he got ready to take on the day. Archie groaned as Bucky hit a particularly high note, burying his face under the soft duvet.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You ever gonna ask her the question?” Sam raised an eyebrow at Bucky as the two men walked alongside the creek. Bucky had decided that ice cream and a walk for Archie were called for, so he’d taken advantage of the nice weather and gone outside. Missing your company, despite you only having been gone for a few days, he’d called up Sam and convinced him to meet up. Not that it took much convincing; the men were as thick as thieves, no matter how much they denied it. Co-workers, partners - best friends.

“Umm,” Bucky’s eyes widened as he almost choked on his ice cream, awkwardly coughing to cover up his nerves. Sam just snickered in response as he realized he already had his answer. After a moment he slowly nodded, “I have the ring...it’s been sitting in the sock drawer.”

“Sock drawer,” Sam snorted and shook his head as a flush of red colored Bucky’s neck and ears, “classic. When are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed as he broke off a piece of waffle cone and handed it to Archie, who had been listening in very intently, “I want to...but what if it’s too soon. We technically don’t even live together yet-”

“Doesn’t she like to spend her time at yours? She’s practically moved in...most of the stuff at your place is hers anyway,” Sam reminded him as Bucky made a small, noncommittal sound. It was true - when you’d first met Bucky his place had been minimal and bare. Now, with your time and touch, it felt like a home; a home you had lovingly built with him. Sam bumped Bucky’s shoulder with his, “just get it all done in one swoop. She’ll say yes.”

Archie made a small sound, agreeing with Sam as he rubbed his snout against Bucky’s thigh. He visibly relaxed as he nodded, hoping that this would be enough to psych him up, “I’ll think about it-”

“No thinking about it,” Sam tutted gently, “you’re going to do it. You’ve been a fool - a straight up head over heels in love fool - since you’ve met her. You’re going to ask.”

“Sam…”

“How long have you had the ring?”

“Sam.”

“Bucky.”

“A few weeks after we started dating,” Bucky cast his glance at the ground as warmth flushed up in his cheeks. He’d expected Sam to burst out in laughter, but luckily the other man said nothing, but a smile stretched across his features, “it seems so silly but you know..I just felt like I knew.”

“Sometimes you do,” Sam agreed, putting his arm around his shoulder and pulling him for a quick hug, “you just gotta do it, Buck. She won’t say no.”

Archie barked in response, looking between the two men, wagging his tail excitedly. Sam offered him a few pets before nodding in response.

“She comes home in a few days,” he couldn’t wait to pick you up from the airport and have you jump into his arms while he finally got to hold you again, “I’ve got until then to pluck up the courage.”

“Just don’t lay it on her right away…” Sam snorted as he picked Bucky running up to you immediately pouring his heart out to you. Not a good idea, “give her a moment to be calm and breath.”

“Shut up,” Bucky huffed as he finished the rest of his ice cream, “I’ve got this!”

“We’re all counting on that!”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bucky set the empty popcorn bowl back on the coffee table as he tried not to sniffle too loudly. His eyes were misty and burning with unshed tears as he watched whatever cheesy romance he had randomly selected. He pulled the soft blanket he was curled up in higher, savoring the fact that it still managed to have a faint bit of your smell on it. Alpine was curled up on the back of the couch, snoozing away while Archie was laying next to him, his head resting on Bucky’s thigh. He was on and off sleeping, but had peeped open an eye when he first heard Bucky sniffle.

“They’re in love,” he whispered gently, unsure if he was speaking to himself or talking to his furry companions. He was scratching Archie’s ears as he watched the scenes play out on the screen, “but they can’t be together. Their families would never allow it.”

Archie huffed lightly as he burrowed further into Bucky’s touch. It was the first time he’d seen the man get so emotional over the movie. Bucky had feelings, plenty of them, of course, but there was something about the movie he’d picked, combined with how much he was missing you that caused him to just lose it. It was like the dam had burst and his emotions were out of control.

He sat back and watched the rest of the movie in silence, a few tears running down his cheeks as he watched the love story play out. By the end of the movie, Archie was fully in his lap and Alpine was resting on his chest, “he left everything behind for her, so they could start a new life together far away. They really were next to meant to be together. It’s beautiful.”

The furry little ones were absolutely going to tell you about this.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Archie yawned and slowly stretched before hopping down from the couch and heading towards Bucky’s bedroom. He tried to nose the door open as he learned to do, but was stopped when he found that it was closed all the way. His head tilted in curiosity and whined softly as he tried to see if Bucky was awake so he would let him in.

As soon as he did, the dog regretted it. All he could hear coming from inside was the soft sounds coming from Bucky. Soft moans and sounds and gentle whispers of your name. His eyes widened as the dog took off down the hall and ran back into the living room, flopping down on his dog bed and cuddling up to Alpine as he tried to empty his mind. All the poor dog had wanted to do was to sleep in the big soft bed - not be scarred for life.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Bucky!” as soon as you’d gotten cleared and walked through arrivals and gotten your single bag, you’d kept your eyes peeled for Bucky. It didn’t take long to find him, standing near the back, blue eyes scanning the arrivals with a hopeful little smile on his face. You almost dropped your bag as you ran over to him. As soon as you were in arm’s reach, you dropped everything to the ground, and Bucky effortlessly scooped you up in his arms. You threw your arms around his neck as he held you in a tight embrace, “James. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he sighed in content, happy to have you in his arms once again. Everything about you set his soul on fire, as he held onto you as tightly as possible. After a moment, he slowly set you back down, but not before peppering your face in gentle kisses, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Bucky,” you reached up and gently touched his cheek, “you’re too much. I’m so glad to be home.”

“Not quite yet.”

“Sure I am,” you insisted quietly, “I’m here with you. You’re my home, Bucky.”

The small velvet box was practically burning a hole in his pocket as you looked at him like he was everything - your whole world (he was). Unable to form a proper sentence, he grabbed your face and pulled you close to him, crashing his lips onto yours, kissing you like you weren’t in the middle of a crowded airport. He could feel you smiling against his lips, reluctantly breaking apart from you only once you were both breathless.

“What was that for?” you asked shyly, feeling your face flush with warmth as he picked up your bags for you. You were watching him with pure adoration as he reached for your hand and laced your fingers together.

“Nothing,” he shrugged softly, “jus’ missed you is all, pretty girl.”

“I missed you too, Bucky,” you promised, “I love you.”

“I love you more than all the moon and stars, pretty girl.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“What?” you asked as Archie came into the kitchen and sat down, watching you intently as you finished up the cookies you had been working. Bucky was busy with Sam that afternoon, so you’d decided to make a little sweet treat for both of you. You’d been home for a few days and fallen into an easy routine, having opted to stay with Bucky for the time being rather than going back to your own place, “you’ve got something to say, I can tell.”

Just missed you. I like when you’re home, you and Bucky. And Alpine.

“I missed you too, buddy,” you promised, leaning over to his head a gentle pet, “did you have fun while I was gone?”

Yes. Bucky takes good care of me. I like Alpine too. She’s nice.

“I happen to like them a lot too,” you grinned at your friend, “I’m glad you do too. I think...I really love him, Archie. I think, no, I know - he’s the one.”

He thinks so too. He told Sam you’re the one - and us too.

“Really?” you almost dropped the cookies you were plating up in surprise as you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from squealing in excitement, “you’re not messing with me, are you?”

It’s true. He’s got...well, you’ll see. He likes romance movies apparently. And singing opera.

“Oh?”

He was watching a movie. He ate two bowls of popcorn and cried. He let me and Alpine sit on him though so it was okay. He sings opera when he showers in the morning. He’s not good but he tries.

“Archie! Don’t be a meanie,” you chuckled as you tried to picture the scene. It would have been hilarious to see. You’d always known Bucky had a soft side, you just didn’t know how soft, “but I will remember that and use it to my advantage when I want to watch a cheesy movie.”

Please do. He gives good pets when he’s in that mood. He always gives good pets.

“He’s a good man,” you grinned as you reached over the counter for a good treat that you easily tossed to him, “I really love him.”

He really loves you. One night I...never mind.

“No, no,” you shook your head as you waggled another treat at him, “out with it! Or I’ll hide all of your treats!”

Fine. But you didn’t hear it from me - I wanted to sleep in the big bed one night and the door was closed and I heard him. He was...saying your name.

Your brows narrowed in confusion for a moment as you pulled another treat out and twirled it in your fingers for a moment. Then you hit you, what he had meant, “oh. Oh. That is...good to know, I suppose.”

Not for me. I just wanted to sleep, not...hear that.

“Sorry buddy,” you snorted as you handed him another treat, “that will stay between us. Besides...he still doesn’t know we can communicate. I wonder if he’ll ever put two and two together?”

You could just tell him.

“But where’s the fun in that?” you teased as the door opened and Bucky walked in, a giant grin on his face. You looked at Archie and shot him a wink before turning to Bucky, “hello, my love. You’re just in time! Cookies are done and cooled!”

“Oh, my sweet girl,” Bucky came over and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before petting Archie, “I love you. Is someone here? I could have sworn you were talking to someone…”

“Nope,” you (half) lied, covering up with a brilliant smile, “just me and the dog and cat.”

“Oh,” he shrugged, thinking it was just his imagination, “what’s all this? Cookies - whatever for?”

“Just because I love you,” you grinned as Archie groaned and laid down, “both of you!”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You stopped for a moment to catch your breath as you reached one of the peaks of the small mountain you and Bucky were hiking. It was a glorious day so you’d decided there was no better plan than to get out and enjoy nature. He had no problem at any point, even offering to piggy back you when you’d grown tired; you’d just defiantly stuck your tongue out at the super soldier and carried on.

“This view is absolutely breathtaking,” you looked over the small cliff, admiring the tranquil expanse of the woods in front of you. Bucky was at your side, his eyes on you the entire time.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a grin, “it’s pretty amazin’.”

“Bucky,” you turned around and rolled your eyes at him as he pulled you in for a kiss, causing you to break into a fit of giggles, “I’m all gross and sweaty!”

“Don’t care,” he insisted as his hands found purchase on your waist and pulled you closer against him, his lips already ghosting over yours, “jus’ want you, baby.”

“Bucky,” his name was soft on your lips, but before anything else could happen, you were stopped by a small, almost nervous little voice from up above.

Umm, hi! I don’t want to interrupt but…

You pulled back from Bucky for a moment before looking at the tree, where you found a small squirrel sitting on a branch and watching you both. Bucky was surprised for a moment but calmed when you gave his shoulder a squeeze and gently moved past him and towards your new friend.

“Hi,” you smiled at her and offered a smile, picking up an acorn and handing it over to her, “is everything alright?”

Oh yes. I just wanted to let you know there’s a big group of people coming. If you want some privacy you should go somewhere more secluded! They’re pretty loud, I don’t like big groups.

“Oh!” you giggled as you could only imagine the awkward scenario if you’d been caught, “thanks for the heads up! We’ll definitely get out of here. I’m sorry you have to deal with all the noise.”

It’s okay. I’m going back to my nest now! If you go down the hill, there’s a more private path that leads back down the mountain. There’s signs if you need them.

“Why thank you,” you grinned as you reached up and she let you pet her, “you’ve been very helpful. Maybe one day we’ll see each other again.“

No problem. I hope so too! Thank you for the acorn!

“Anytime,” you promised as she scurried away with her new treasure. You shook your head in amusement as you turned back around to Bucky, to find him watching you with wide eyes. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, almost wondering if he was hallucinating. Had you just gone mad and tried to speak to a squirrel? You laughed lightly at the shocked look on his features, “oh.”

“What was...what was that?” he asked as you rejoined him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyes were still scanning the branch the small squirrel had just occupied.

“She was just warning us that there’s a group of hikers coming our way and we should find someplace more private,” you said as if it was no big deal. It didn’t help Bucky in the slightest.

“She? A warning...how….That was a squirrel!”

“I was wondering if you’d ever put two and two together,” you laughed, almost doubling over in laughter, “I...Bucky, I don’t know how or why but I can communicate with animals.”

“You can….how long?!”

“Ever since I’ve been a child?” you held up your hands in earnest, “its something I’ve always been able to do. I don’t advertise it, obviously because people generally think I’m crazy, but I would think you of all people understand. It’s just been...fun to wait and see if you’d ever figure it out.”

“All those times…” he ran a hand over his face in exasperation and disbelief as you watched him in amusement. He was a brilliant, smart man but sometimes he was so oblivious. You couldn’t love him anymore if you tried, “it wasn’t just...a one sided conversation. It all makes sense now. Wow, that’s amazing! What a wonderful thing to possess.”

“I’ve always liked it,” you agreed, “it’s different, you know? But special in its own way.”

“Wait…” he mused for a moment, “so all those times...oh. H-how much have Archie and Alpine told you? Have they always talked to you?”

“Yup,” you crossed your arms over your chest, as you watched his neck and ears turn red, “those two in particular are very animated and over the top. They’re the worst little gossip duo. Almost like you and Sammy.”

“Of course they are,” he groaned as you reached for his hand and pulled him towards. He gave you a sheepish grin as you pressed a light kiss to his knuckles, “they told you about the movie, huh?”

“Archie,” you confirmed, “but he did say you gave him the best pets.”

“Did he tell about...oh no,” this time his whole face was a brilliant crimson, “I-I…”

“Oh stop,” you teased, “I’m flattered and honored. It’s not like I don’t do the same when I’m not with you.”

“Really?” he perked up with pride as you just nodded in amusement, “well then. Wait - did he tell you about Sam?”

“He said you went on a walk with him but that was it,” you shrugged, “nothing really. I do know that he loves you and Alpine very much. And so do I, obviously.”

“Okay,” he relaxed slightly as you took his hand and started to lead him towards the more secluded path your little squirrel had told you about. The box in his pocket was once again burning a hole, “good.”

“Everything okay, Bub?” you asked as he just nodded, lips pursed as he fell into step behind you. Something was definitely off, but you weren’t going to push him on it. If anything, you knew he’d come around and speak his mind about what was going on. He usually always did.

A silence, one neither tense nor uncomfortable, fell over the two of you as you walked down the quiet trail. It was beautiful - lush greenery and newly bloomed plants everywhere. At one point you stopped and pulled out your phone to take a few pictures of the natural beauty. Bucky had been so lost in his own thoughts, his heart practically pounding in his chest and consuming every part of him that he almost bowled into you and knocked you over.

“James!” it was somewhere between a groan and laugh as he caught you in his arms in order to keep you from tumbling into a bunch of bushes. You were face to face with Bucky, looking at him intently as he steadied you, “alright, something’s up. Come on - out with it. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I umm...marry me?” all the speeches he had gone over and planned wet out the window as he just stared at you with nervous eyes. You’d been so taken aback by his sudden question that you took a step back and gave him a curious expression. Bucky’s stomach was in absolute knots as he wondered if he’d just fucked everything up.

“W-what?” your voice was a small squeak, as you tried to see if he was just pulling your leg. But his gaze never wavered, “what did you just ask me?”

“I…” he stopped over a moment before reaching into his pocket with trembling hands and pulling out a small box. Your eyes widened in response as you realized that was not joking at all, further evidenced when he popped it open and showed you the ring inside. Your mouth dropped open when it all came together, “I thought the whole proposal would go a lot differently than this but umm...yeah. Will you marry me? That’s what I’m trying to ask...I’m glad Archie hadn’t spoiled that for you.”

“No,” you shook your head as you already felt tears pricking at your eyes, “he definitely didn’t. I thought he might have been holding something back, but I...I had no idea.”

“I know it hasn’t even been a year yet, but I feel like when you know someone 's the one..you know,” he admitted softly, “and I know you’re the one. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one I want to call my wife...my everything.”

“James,” you looked between him and the ring a few more times before swallowing the lump in your throat, “gods, I am so in love with you. There was never a doubt in my mind that it was meant to be you. Yes, of course yes.”

“Really?!”

“Of course,” you beamed at him, “I love you, Bucky. You’re my forever.”

“Forever,” he breathed softly, “I like the sound of that.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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acourtofsnakes · 3 years

Text

A Helping Hand - Bucky Barnes x Reader (f)

(Gif: @sebastianruinedme )

Summary: After a stressful week, you try to wind down with some personal time but nothing quite hits that spot. And a certain Super Soldier may just be more than willing to help you.

Warnings: 18+ Smut - Masturbation/toys, Oral (f receiving), fingering, neck play, arm/hand kink, dirty talk, a faint Dom theme if you squint, swearing – honestly, Bucky should just be a kink in himself.

Word count: 5k+ words full of hot playtime.

A/N: This is just filth, to be honest. I was feeling a certain way after watching episode 3 of TFATWS and seeing that scene with Bucky cleaning his hand and… ideas happened, and this was born. There’s not really a plot… simply enjoy.

Smut under the cut!!

Permanent Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal

Part 2

There was something to be said about the advancement of toys in recent years.

There were hundreds of them. All different types. For all different things.

Rabbits, waterproof vibrators, pulsating and pounding ones, ones that felt like oral, handsfree vibrators, remote control vibrators – the list went on.

You had a lot. Tucked in a drawer of your dresser in a pretty box that just made you go all tingly in the knees every time you saw it.

You were proud of your collection.

And boy, did you love them.

They never let you down, ever.

But unfortunately, tonight was just not one of those nights.

It has been a tough week.

Not only had you taken a beating in training yesterday, but you were also late for an appointment across the city, which resulted in being yelled at by Fury.

You really regretted decided to help him when he needed it.

There wasn’t a lot going on lately, so you offered to help Fury when he needed it.

Usually, you were on his food side.

Yesterday, not so much.

Everything seemed out to get you, and after the shit show of the week, you just wanted to treat yourself. So, you’d holed yourself up in your room on your floor of the compound, had a long, luxurious soak in the bath, and then decided to work out your anxiety and tension with one of your many, many friends.

And for the first time in a while, they just weren’t hitting that spot.

Literally.

You groaned, throwing the third toy - this one a rabbit that was one of your most trusty companions - on the side of your bed.

For the last forty minutes, you’d been dancing between three different toys and your fingers.

You’d tried being on your belly, your side, and your back. You’d even tried a pillow.

But nothing was the right pressure on your clit, no toy or finger felt deep enough inside, and you couldn’t hit that spot inside without getting a wicked cramp in your wrist that forced you to stop.

You sat up, every nerve in your body wound to a knife edge, leaving you frustrated and tempted to throttle someone.

Or get someone to throttle you.

Preferably whilst pinning you to a wall... or a desk.

Or anywhere really.

You just needed something, anything to get out this frustration and give you the release you’d been desperately chasing all night.

It wasn’t even a case of hovering on the edge - you couldn’t even get there. The fire and heat just stayed a kindling ember in your belly, and never reaching that explosive fire.

After getting up and downing a measure of whiskey whilst watching the rain, you decided to try a last-ditch attempt with a different toy.

This one was a curved vibrator, with a thicker rounder head for supposedly perfect pressure on your g-spot.

Simple, straight forward.

Surely, if none of the others had done it, this one finally would.

After settling back on your bed, you took a little more care this time, even going as far to light a few candles to add an ambiance to the room rather than have it pitch black with the sounds of the rain.

You worked yourself up this time, building it slowly, teasing yourself with brushes of your fingertips over your throat and breasts, setting your skin ablaze.

You pushed yourself to the edge a little, and then worked over with your vibrator.

Until ten minutes later, when you literally launched the vibrator across the room and it hit the wall with a resounding thud, that echoed your hiss of frustration. “Fucking hell.”

A shit week, a shit day, and you couldn’t even fuck yourself well enough to be able to wind down and get some sleep.

There was a sudden knock and then Bucky’s voice echoed through your bedroom door. “Darlin’?” There was a slight hint of his Brooklyn accent peeping through at the end, stirring something within you.

You startled, sitting bolt upright and your head snapped to the door, “Bucky?” You had the good sense to lock the door, but still. He was right there.

His shadow moved beneath the door, and you realised he was leaning against it, “Is everything alright? I heard banging.”

Well, no not really. I’ve been trying to get myself off for the last hour and nothing appears to be working and I’m sitting here naked whilst you’re the other side of my door calling me Darling in that ridiculously hot accent that shouldn’t even be that hot. But hey, apart from that, everything’s great.

You slid off the bed, padding across the room after dropping your toys back in their drawer, glaring at it as you passed. You slipped a robe on before making your way across the fluffy rug to the door, “Yeah, I’m okay...” You unlocked the door, tugging it open.

Bucky was leaning against the doorframe, all broad shoulders, long lines and soft smile.

His searing blue eyes were instantly locked onto you, a smirk playing on those gorgeous lips.

He cocked his head, standing there with his arms crossed, and you noticed that for once, he wasn’t wearing any gloves. Just a simple long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans that hung sinfully close to his hips and... no boots. Just socks.

Like he’d taken his shoes off before waking into your apartment.

Ever the gentleman.

His arm was bare, the soft light of the hall bouncing off of the black vibranium and sparking the gold. You’d always loved his arm. The sheer power of it, the way you’d seen it shatter a man’s ribs instantly and tear through a brick wall like it was made of glass. The same hand that tickled behind the ears of a stray kitten in Prospect Park and test the ripeness of plums at the market.

You wanted that hand around your throat.

Eyes the colour of the Arctic sea roamed over your body, from your slightly mussed up hair to the flush along your neck that disappeared in the dip of your dressing gown. “Mm... are you sure about that?” He tilted his coyly, a smirk playing on his lips and you had a feeling this expression had been one of the trademarks since the 40’s.

You narrowed your eyes at him, more than aware that he was seeing far more than you wanted him to, “I’m fine.” You turned from the door, leaving it open for him to come in, “How comes you’re up on my floor, anyway?” You peered over your shoulder at him as you padded across the room to the drinks cart.

Yes, there was a bar on your floor, but why couldn’t you have a cart in your room? Tony hadn’t even needed to ask when designing it.

Bucky walked in, his footfalls silent like a cat, that training never quite leaving him, “I couldn’t sleep. No nightmares, just restless.” He added the last part quickly, in response to the concern that tightened your expression.

It was nothing unusual, Bucky coming up here to your room.

You often found each other after nightmares or rough days, seeking comfort and distraction from the darkness that lingered.

Some days and nights, you went out, needing an outside diversion from the thoughts.

Other times, you stayed in, watching films, talking, training or just... sitting quietly, knowing that the other persons presence was enough protection and reassurance. Words weren’t needed… just company.

You handed him a drink, plopping down on the end of your bed and you watched him sink into the couch opposite, “Anything you wanna talk about?”

Since everything with the War, Bucky was working on fitting back into a routine, into ‘normal’ life - or what could be considered normal for people like yourselves.

He was undergoing his mandatory therapy sessions, and they seemed to be helping him.

He was back in contact with Sam, and the pair even worked a few jobs together now and then, even if they did bicker like an old married couple - it provided great entertainment when you tagged along.

He leant back on the couch, settling his left arm across the back. He always looked at home on your floor, relaxed, like his mind could shut off a little. “Nah, I’m okay... Thank you though.” He shot you an easy smile again, one that he probably hadn’t used in.... decades. “What about you? Why are you up so late?”

Mimicking his shrug, you kept your expression neutral, making sure your eyes didn’t drift to that certain drawer, “Rough week. I was reading to try and drift off.”

“Mmmhm...” Bucky’s hummed response told you instantly that he did not believe you one bit. “What were you reading? Cosmopolitan’s best guide to toys?” That shit eating grin graced his face and he motioned gracefully with his left hand... to the corner of the room.

The vibrator you’d launched was sitting on the floor, nestled in the rug, the soft mint green silicone practically a beacon.

Okay.

Okay…. So. There were two ways you could respond to this.

Either play it off, deny it and change the subject.

Or…

Turning back to him, you shrugged again, “Oh, I’ve read that back to front. And made a few additions myself.” You cocked your head, a faint flutter in your belly as you awaited his response.

The barest flicker of surprise danced across his beautiful, rugged features before dissolving into something confident and smouldering. “Well, it looks to me like their guide isn’t true to review tonight. Something tells me you’re having a little bit of trouble.” His voice had begun to lower into a deeper, the natural roughness of his voice coming out.

It stoked that fire within you, warming your blood and curling low in your belly.

“And if I was? What would you suggest to help?” It was almost impossible to remain sitting still as the atmosphere folded and changed. There was one obvious route to your back and forth… and you wanted it.

Wanted… him.

And if you were honest, you had for a long time now. There was just something about him that you’d always been drawn to, a simmering tension that settled whenever you were together.

Bucky rose from the sofa in a fluid movement, walking toward you slowly, casually, but with the grace and prowl of a wolf eyeing up its next meal – you.

And fuck, you wanted him to devour you.

He slid his hands into his pockets, feet silent on your wooden floor, “Well… I would say that as wonderful as your toys may be… they’re just that. Toys. They can’t… feel what you like.” His eyes burned through you with each of his steps. “They don’t hear the noises you make when they hit the right spot. They don’t get to see the way your body reacts, the way your teeth sink into your bottom lip because it feels overwhelmingly good.”

He was close enough for you to smell his cologne, and that only added to the growing wetness between your thighs as his filthy, beautiful words.

Bucky stopped in front of you, removing his left hand and touching his fingers to your chin to tilt it up to face him, “They can’t know the little things… the deeper angle, that extra finger or sweep of the tongue… they can’t make you so wet that it runs down your thighs and they can’t make you arch off the bed as you shatter into starlight…” He sighed softly, shaking his head in mock disappointment, “I’m afraid they just… can’t make you come the way a real person could.” He applied a little pressure to the underside of your chin, and you rose to your – unsteady - feet instantly, putty in his hands.

Holy fuck, Bucky Barnes had a mouth on him.

Your teeth had indeed sunk into your lower lip, and your breathing had grown shallow. It was an effort to keep your thighs firmly locked together… Because you were just as wet as he had said.

The dark flame in his eyes told you that he knew the reaction you were having to him. He brushed a cool thumb over your lip, then tugged it gently to free it from your teeth and at the same time, he leant his head down to your level, “They can’t make you come like I can, darlin’.” This close, his warm lips brushed the shell of your ear, his voice reduced to a husky rasp that only further drew out that Brooklyn accent.

The soft moan that left your lips was almost pitiful, but you didn’t care, “Shit.”

You breathed the word, earning a deep chuckle in your ear before Bucky pulled back, only enough to see your face, “You want me to help you? Give you a helping hand?” His words were low and seductive, but he was looking between your eyes, making no more moves until he knew you wanted this.

If you changed your mind, he would leave right now, and say no more about it.

That very thought pained you.

Something had always hovered between you both… and maybe now was the time to let it out. You shared a few kisses on nights out and he had featured heavily in your fantasies night after night, wishing your fingers were his, the toys were him….

You met his eyes, your own clear and sure and you kept that gaze as you parted your lips. Then swept your tongue along his thumb and tilted your head down just enough to take it between your lips. The vibranium was smooth, cold and it felt oddly delightful on your tongue. “Make me come, Bucky. Prove to me you’re better than the toys.” Your voice was low with need, a soft pleading note for him there as you gazed up through your eyelashes.

The Arctic blue of his eyes deepened to near midnight, his pupils blowing out as he watched you talk around his thumb, your tongue sweeping over the metal and he almost purred, “Oh, baby, you won’t need toys when I’m done.” And then he was on you.

He gently pulled his hand from your face, instead placing it lightly around your neck, the heavy metal settling on your collarbones and that alone drenched you.

He looked between your eyes, checking one final time and then his mouth was lowering onto yours, his lips warm, plush and ever so inviting. Instantly, he licked a teasing line along your lips, which you would have parted for him without the request.

Bucky’s tongue slipped past your lips, sweeping against yours in hot strokes as he explored every corner of your mouth.

He tasted divine, and even more so when his thumb lightly tipped your chin back and he traced the tip of his tongue along the roof of your mouth, licking over the ridges and showing you exactly what that tongue could do.

A groan left your lips, and you slid your hands up his arms to those shoulders, those gorgeous broad shoulders that all you wanted to do was dig your nails into them and use for support as you rode him.

A deep curl of delight and joy was unfurling within the heat in your belly, because you needed this, needed more of him and his hands and his tongue and his words… and you were finally getting it

Hell, he had only just started kissing you and you already could have fallen apart just from that.

“Why have we not been doing this all the time?” Was the only thought that your already fuzzy mind could come up with as he pulled away slowly from your lips, only to begin pressing hot, open kisses against your jaw that were all teeth and tongue. He seared a path to your neck, kissing all over until he found that particular spot that made you whimper and arch into his body.

Bucky laughed low against your neck, the sound vibrating, “Oh, baby, you were struggling, weren’t you? I’ve barely even touched you and you’re already a mess…” He used his hand on your throat to tilt your head to the side, before biting at your skin, sweeping his tongue over the hot and sucking a deep mark there.

A slight whine rippled in your throat, fingers pulling as his shirt and your chest pushed against his, the firm heat of him making your nipples tighten, especially when he pushed into you.

Bucky slipped a hand between your bodies, tugging at the cord of your dressing gown and it slipped from your shoulders, leaving you bare and open to him.

He licked down your neck, his tongue smoothing over the shape of your collarbones and then down your sternum to your breasts. He butterfly kissed the soft flesh, then almost delicately sucked at your rleft nipple, lifting his vibranium hand to squeeze the other, “So beautiful…” He mumbled it half to himself, his dark mussed up curls soft against your skin.

One of your hands trailed up the back of his neck, slightly tangling in the hair at the base of his head and you pushed your chest further into his mouth, “Tease.” The word was a soft gasp, your eyes closing in pleasure and your lips parting.

He chuckled, pulling back to blow a cool breath on the wet skin, watching your nipple harden and then he moved to give the other the same treatment, “Oh, I’m a tease, am I? I can stop if you like.” He grinned around the delicate skin, just slightly grazing his teeth as he tugged your nipple and then he continued his trail of kisses down your body, slowly sinking to his knees. “I don’t think you’ll ask me to stop though, darlin’.” His right hand grasped your ankle, and then he ghosted warm fingertips up your leg, past your knee and then pausing at your inner thigh, at what he felt there, “No. No I don’t think you’ll ask me to stop at all.”

The cocky bastard grinned once more against your stomach, before dipping his tongue inside your belly button.

“Bucky…” You couldn’t hide the whimper in your voice, nor the way your hips rocked forward in a plea. It was almost painful how much you needed him to touch you, needed to feel his lips and his tongue.

“Shhh, baby, I know.” His hands slipped up your waist, as soothing as his gentle coo against your belly button and then he brushed his lips lower and lower… and then finally, he pressed a soft butterfly kiss to your pubic bone.

A low groan tore from his throat, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your hips as he saw you, swollen and positively dripping for him, “Oh, darlin’, look at you…”

The sheer desire and awe in his low voice caused heat to flush along your cheekbones. You weren’t shy by any means, but the almost primal admiration in his voice was something you’d never heard before, the pure want and desire to make you feel good and worship you.

Bucky admired the sight before him for a single moment, before lifting his eyes to yours and then he dove in, immediately devouring you like he was starving. His deft tongue slipped through your slick folds with ease, and he moaned again at your taste, at your smell, everything.

He pressed his tongue flat against you before sucking at your clit, with such an intensity that you almost choked. It was a simple movement, but it shot electricity through your body and made every single nerve stand on end.

He let that coil of energy begin to build, and then he licked back down, his hands sliding down to palm at your ass cheeks before digging his fingers into your skin, pulling you in further so he could bury his nose against your clit and his tongue – fuck, his tongue pushed inside of you, hot and heavy. It just felt so, so good, his nose putting pressure on your bundle of nerves, his tongue pumping inside you.

Your hands flew down to his hair, winding through it to keep him there, keep him doing that, to keep him fucking you with his tongue, “Buck-”. You weren’t sure what you were begging him for, only that you just needed to say his name, needed to do something.

Your hips began to rock in time with his thrusts, and you became aware of it only when Bucky’s muffled moan reverberating through you.

He liked it, no... he loved this, that you were grinding against his face as his tongue worked inside you, tasting parts of you no one else had ever gotten right before.

“Fuck, Bucky, keep doing that – I’m-” You cut off with a high moan, your head tilting back as you rocked into him faster, chasing down that high that was so tantalisingly close. It hadn’t taken long, you were so worked up from your failed attempts that you were already there.

Bucky’s began to lick and suck you with new fervour, his head moving in time with the jerks of his hips, feeling the way your walls were tightening around his tongue. His fingers dug harder into your ass, and you felt the silent command almost, Come.

And you did.

You cried his name out to the sky, every nerve in your body winding to near painful tautness before you shattered on his face, your first orgasm ripping through you.

Bucky didn’t stop, working you through it and drawing it out further and further as he lapped up every single drop you gave him, moaning himself like it was the most tantalising thing he had ever tasted.

He stopped only when your grip released on his hair, the sensitivity of your nerves almost painful, your legs shaking like crazy and he lifted his hand from between your thighs, his lips and chin glistening. He rose from his knees, nudging you back onto the bed and instantly crawling up your body, “You have no idea how good you taste.”

You whimpered slightly, catching your breath as you watched him crawl up you, eyes burning like sapphire fire, his tongue licking slowly over his lips as he savoured you. Words were beyond you, desire still coursing through your veins and you were a little in awe at how quickly – and hard – he had brought you to your first orgasm.

Bucky grinned devilishly, “That won’t be your last.” He lowered his mouth back to yours and as you tasted yourself on him, you grew instantly wet for him again.

His body brushed into yours and you felt how painfully hard he was through his jeans, the sounds and taste of you getting to him of course.

Your fingers had barely brushed against his restrained length when he shook his head, nipping at your lower lip, “Oh no, baby, this is all about you.”

You ignored him, palming him through his jeans and he moaned lowly before his eyes flashed, his hand suddenly back on your throat and he moved his hips away so you couldn’t get to him. “I said no.” It was almost a snarl, “This is about you. Not me.” His hand tightened just slightly around your throat, making it that little bit harder to breathe and your eyes rolled back at how delicious it felt.

It was a huge kink for you, the idea of someone – of Bucky - taking control, being in control of your body even it was just for a little while. You didn’t need to think or do anything. Only feel and be at the mercy of his touch.

You relented, legs falling open for him and you tilted your head back, searching for his lips.

Bucky granted you the kiss, a slow, languid kiss at first that was all simmering passion and tangling tongues, the taste on you still lingering on his lips.

He palmed your breast again, tugging and squeezing the flesh until he scratched his nails lightly down your ribcage and belly.

Yes, yes-

He wasted no time, no more playing and his fingers slipped lower, circling over your clit with a delicious pressure that had you instantly moaning into his mouth.

He toyed with your clit a little more, before gathering your wetness and then sinking two fingers inside you, pushing all the way into his knuckles, then drawing back out slowly.

As he withdrew, you moaned long and slow into his mouth and he began a steady rhythm. Pushing and curling his fingers inside you a few steps, then circling and pulling at your clit, ever so subtly switching it up with each pass so you couldn’t predict what he would do.

It felt amazing, but… there was something still missing. It still wasn’t quite enough to send you over that final edge… it wasn’t what you’d been fantasising about.

No, it was his left hand. That dark, golden vibranium hand that was currently seated around your throat.

The knowledge of what it could do, the sheer power in it that could easily crush your windpipe or shatter your jaw with a single flick of his wrist.

That is what you needed.

Those cool, powerful fingers inside you, working you over – that was the best toy.

It was like he could read your mind somehow, or the way your body sung to his tune. He lifted his head, looking down at you with those searing blues and he cocked his head, a slow grin lighting his gorgeous face, “Oh… This-” he scissored his fingers inside you, stretching your walls and ever so slightly brushing up against that spot, “isn’t quite what you want, is it, darlin’?”

Holy Christ, he was going to destroy you before you even got what you wanted.

You looked up at him, panting, hips rocking to the slower thrust of his fingers and you shook your head.

Bucky swore softly, panting himself and he squeezed your throat once before lifting his fingers, “You want these, don’t you?”

Instead of answering him, you ducked your head, taking his three fingers into your mouth and immediately gliding your tongue around them, up and down in slow, dirty strokes.

The effect was instantaneous. Bucky’s hips jerked slightly against yours, his mouth parting as he watched you suck his vibranium fingers, hollowing your cheeks, eyes rolling back in your head like… like it was something else entirely.

He groaned, swore again and then almost ripped his fingers from your mouth and from between your legs at the same time.

Your entire body mourned the loss, feeling empty, clenching around nothing but mere seconds later, he plunged those three vibranium fingers inside of you, slick with your saliva and how unbelievably wet you were.

It stung a little, but only added to the feeling as your hips rose off the bed, “Shit, shit-”

They felt… like the best toy you could ever imagine. Smooth, cold, and hard enough that you could feel every faint ridge of the joints as he slid them in and out. You reached out, grabbing his arm with one hand and the bed with the other, needing something to hold onto as instinct took over. Your hips rode upwards, back arching as you rocked his fingers in deeper, feeling them in your spine almost. It was better than you could have imagined.

Bucky dropped his head to your chest, spreading his mouth over your breast and his other arm slid over your hips, pinning them to the bed so you were forced to take it. “You wanted this, baby… You take it.” He bit down on the soft flesh of your breast before smoothing his tongue over it again, working an alternative rhythm to his fingers and thumb again, so that your brain couldn’t keep up with which one to follow. It knew only the waves of fire singing through your veins.

Time may have very well dissolved, because you could only feel pleasure, tinged almost with pain.

The thick, hard stroking of fingers as they stretched and wrecked you.

The circling, hard-soft-hard pressure of his thumb on your clit.

The bite of his teeth on your breasts, neck and chest, followed by the wet press of his tongue.

The way he couldn’t help his hips slightly rocking against your leg.

This was almost like a fever dream, expect your brain couldn’t have come up with something this mind melting. Not even if you were really, really worked up.

The noises in the room were absolutely sinful. The unrestrained cries and moans from your lips, Bucky’s groans and his filthy words, the wet pump of his fingers inside you – it was obscene, filthy and completely, painfully mind-blowing.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Bucky, please-” You had no idea what you were begging for, but every single nerve and muscle in your body was coiling tighter and tighter, your hips jerking against his arm as he pinned you down, forcing you to take this, to feel everything he was doing with no relenting. Tears were beginning to blur your eyes and the pleasure he unleashed upon you was almost painful.

Bucky somehow moved his fingers harder, deeper, the ability of the tech in his arm allowing him to do so, “Let go, baby, come on, let it go for me..” He dropped his head, biting down on your neck and he pressed his fingers against that spot inside you, flicking your clit with his thumb and then it all just snapped.

Waves and waves of hot fire flooded your body, dragging you up to the stars, further. It ripped the air from your lungs, made you half scream his name in a never-ending prayer.

It just didn’t stop.

Bucky kept moving inside you, drawing out every single second of your mind-shattering orgasm, letting go of your hips so you could grind them into his hand. “That’s it, baby… Look at you, so beautiful like that…” His praise spurred you on, making you feel almost like a goddess as you flooded his hand.

He stopped only when you slumped back onto the bed, sucking in deep breaths as you tried to piece yourself back together.

Better than toys indeed.

A little while later, you stirred from a light dose to see Bucky lounging on your couch again, cleaning the grooves and metal of his fingers with a soft cloth.

The sight of him concentrating, taking such care and detail with the clean-up, the cleanup from the mess you had made, had you instantly wet again. “Bucky.”

He looked up, hearing the low thrum to your voice and a smirk crossed his lips.

You had a favour to repay for his helping hand, after all.

#well #that happened #i am not sorry #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #arm kink

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redhoodssweetheart · 2 years

Text

Maybe Another Time

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Fem!Reader

Requested: Yes (This was a request from my 1.5K follower celebration. Only the stories listed in the pinned post are the ones I am willing to take)

Word Count: 889

Warnings: Fluff, light angst

Description: Joaquin gets called to help Sam and Bucky making the two of you cancel your dinner plans. You are upset because this was supposed to be the first date night in months.

Joaquin had gotten the call five minutes ago, the news was playing softly in the background that some new terrorist group was planning an attack on multiple embassies in the city. Sam had told him to suit up and get a move on because they had work. It wasn’t ideal since you and Joaquin had had this dinner date planned for months. It had become increasingly difficult to find time to spend together since Joaquin had been officially made the new Falcon since Sam had taken on the mantle of Captain America.

He had asked Bucky why he hadn’t taken the mantle and he said, “Yeah, I’d rather keep my feet planted on the ground as much as possible. Flying is yours and Sam’s thing.” That had been good enough for him and he had been under Sam’s tutelage ever since.

He rushed into his and your bedroom and began looking for his suit, but it wasn’t where he normally kept it, “Babe, have you seen my suit! Sam needs my help!”

You were in the kitchen making sure you had everything you needed on you, already prepared to leave for your date night. When you heard Joaquin say that Sam needed his help your heart dropped a little. You got that what Joaquin did was important, but sometimes it was hard being with him when he was constantly being pulled to do Avenger duties.

One of your favorite scenes came to mind and you shouted back, “Uh-uh! Don’t you think about running off doing no derrin’-do. We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!”

Joaquin kinda froze, recognizing the quote instantly and his shoulders dropped. He knew you were serious, but also trying to make light of the situation so he wouldn’t know just how upset you were. “Babe, did you just quote The Incredibles?”

You were already shrugging out of your jacket knowing that you weren’t going to go to dinner. “Maybe, maybe not,” you muttered under your breath. Then louder so he could hear you, you said, “It’s in the guest room closet.”

You heard his feet rushing toward the guest bedroom and the familiar sound of the locks unclicking and Joaquin rushing to get his clothes off to get his suit on. You sat at the dining room table scrolling through your phone and social media feed to see that Sam and Bucky were already taking care of some of the damage. They were going to need Joaquin's help though. A moment later he was rushing for the door, a quick kiss to your cheek, and a promise to be back soon. Then the apartment was quiet and you decided to order from your favorite restaurant and put on your favorite movie.

Several hours later when Joaquin had returned, covered in cuts and dirt and ash he found you curled up on the couch, the DVD’s home screen playing on a loop in the background. He saw that you had changed out of your dress in favor of your most comfortable PJs and all the makeup had been scrubbed from your face. He silently made his way into the kitchen and found that you had ordered food for him as well.

As quietly as he could he took it out and began reheating it. He felt terrible that he had to bail on you for the evening. The food finished and he took it to the table where he ate in silence for a while. He could still hear the TV and wondered if he should wake you so that you could sleep in your actual bed, but he didn’t need to consider it for long because he could hear your feet padding across the floor. You appeared in the doorway and the two of you were quiet for a moment. Joaquin stood and wrapped his arms around you, “I’m so sorry that I had to go out and take care of those problems tonight.”

You were quiet for a moment, your arms wrapped around him, “I know you have to because you have a responsibility and all, but it still hurts. We haven’t had a date night in forever because there’s always something you need to take care of, and I know that that’s going to be life with you. I’m okay with that, but it’s still going to suck and hurt me when it does.”

“It’s not fair to you, and I’ll never fault you for getting upset,” he told you. “You mean so much to me and it hurts to know that this upset you. And I’ll try to be better in the future, Sam won’t always need me and there are other Avengers that he can call on. We’ll figure this out.”

He felt you nod, “Okay.”

He placed a kiss on top of your head, “I talked to Sam tonight, no more missions for a couple of weeks. He told me I had earned some time off and that we should go and do something just the two of us.”

You pulled back so that you could look at him, “Really?”

“Yeah, so where do you want to go? The Bahamas? Paris? Seoul?”

“The couch,” you told him. “I just want to watch a movie with you.”

He began to pull you toward the living room, “That can be arranged.”

#Joaquin Torres x Reader #Joaquin Torres x Reader fluff #Joaquin Torres x Reader angst #Joaquin Torres #Joaquin Torres fanfic #Joaquin Torres fanfiction #Joaquin Torres angst #Joaquin Torres fluff #Requested

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prettybuckybaby · 3 years

Text

zero to sixty, in three-point-five

read on ao3 here

18+

“Wanna…wanna f-fuck you,” Steve mumbles into Bucky’s chest one evening. They’re basking in the post-coital bliss, tucked beneath the blankets, Steve’s damp hair tickling where his head rests on Bucky’s chest, muscular but impossibly soft.

“Yeah?” Bucky chuckles, bringing his metal hand up to thread through Steve’s hair. “You gon’ tell me about it? How you’re gonna fuck me?”

“Mmh,” Steve shifts slightly, nuzzling further into the broad expanse of Bucky’s torso. “Wanna…make you feel good,”

“Yeah? You wanna make Daddy feel good? Treat Daddy right?”

“Mmh,”

“Wanna use your body to make me feel good? Yeah?” Bucky snickers as he flips them over so he’s hovering over Steve’s body, crotches lined up and grinding against each other softly as Bucky gently rocks both of their bodies. “Gonna use your little clit to make me come? Make me come so hard and then use my body to make you come inside Daddy?”

“Nuh…no,” Steve whimpers, shaking his head. “Just…make you feel good,”

“Awe,” Bucky coos, ruffling Steve’s hair. He laughs at the way Steve scrunches his nose up. “Not even bothered about coming, Stevie? Just wanna keep going until your daddy has his fill?”

“Uh huh,” Steve nods, but he squeezes his eyes shut and covers as much of his red face as he can in the crook of his elbow. “Like…like a toy to make…make Daddy feel good,”

“Hmm,” Bucky presses a grin into Steve’s cheek, rolling his hips a little faster. “And good little toys don’t need to come, do they? Good little toys don’t need to be distracted by something as silly as an orgasm, right, sweetheart?”

“D-don’t need to come, just…just Daddy. Need Daddy’s come, please,”

“Hmm,” Bucky purrs into Steve’s neck. “You’d be such a good toy for Daddy, doll face.”

---------------

They don’t talk about it in bed the next morning like Steve thinks they would. He wakes up to the smell of pancakes drifting through the house, the sound of Bucky humming along to the music that is playing, the music that Peter introduced them too that Steve cannot stand but Buck seems to have taken a shine to. He groans as he rolls out of his bed, picking up one of Bucky’s hoodies off the floor and pulling it over his head. He stumbles as he tries to step into a pair of boxers. He’s only slightly disgusted that he doesn’t know whose they are.

He staggers into the kitchen, stifling a yawn, and plasters himself against Bucky’s back. The other man groans playfully at the added weight but doesn’t make any move to get Steve off him.

“Mornin’, Stevie,” Bucky chuckles, deep with sleep. Steve mewls as he tries to burrow himself into Bucky’s skin.

“Mmhm ‘addy,”

“Still sleepin’, bunny?” Steve hums softly. “That’s okay. You want some coffee?”

---

They don’t talk about what Steve said when he was half awake and half floating after they’ve eaten breakfast and have both woken up more. They don’t talk about it on their run, or in the shower after their run, or even while they’re making out on the couch in the early afternoon, ignoring the film they had started watching.

They don’t talk about it the day after, or the day after that, or even the day after that. He’s not worried that Bucky has forgotten about it, Buck never forgets anything that Steve says. He doesn’t think that Bucky has forgotten, but Bucky normally brings these things up, whether it’s in casual conversation or as a negotiation, but Bucky seems content to forget all about it. Or, at least, not talk about it.

Steve cannot forget all about it.

He’s not sure why it’s bothering him so much. It’s not like he’s never topped before. Fair enough, they don’t switch positions often, and they never switch their roles, but Steve has fucked Bucky on many occasions. So it’s not like it’s something he’s nervous about, there’s no reason for him to be so worked up, but there’s…something. Some sort of energy buzzing under his skin and he can’t get the thoughts out of his head.

---------------

It turns out Bucky has absolutely not forgotten about it. In fact, once they get started, it’s pretty clear he’s been thinking about it a lot.

It takes a few weeks for it to come up, and at first Steve isn’t even aware it’s happening. He comes back home from a late lunch with Sam and Bucky is sat on their couch, dressed in his workout gear, loose t-shirt and baggy shorts, beer in his hand. Steve frowns slightly at the sight, confused. He knows Bucky hasn’t been to the gym today and he knows Bucky’s showered within the past hour or so, can smell the hints of coconut from the fancy shampoo Bucky insists they buy. His hair is pulled into a low bun at the back of his head, a few strands falling loose and framing his face. But Bucky never really wears his gym stuff outside of the gym, only when they…oh. Only when they’re playing.

He’s already ready to go. Zero to sixty in three-point-five.

“You’re back,” Bucky murmurs, not taking his eyes off the hockey game that is playing on the television. He doesn’t look up, but he does frown. “You’re overdressed. Fix it,” Steve swallows down a whine that threatens to burst out of his throat, closes his eyes, takes a moment and breathes deeply. It’s the first order he’s been given and it’s far too early to embarrass himself. Bucky clears his throat, and that’s when Steve realises he hasn’t made a move yet, hasn’t even started to kick his shoes off. He swallows again as he begins to strip off, making sure to do it the way Bucky likes even though the other man isn’t watching him, has turned all his attention back to the game. He takes the time to fold each piece of his clothing how he knows Bucky expects him to, placing them neatly on the table by the door. Steve’s barely put the pile down before Bucky is snapping his fingers and pointing at the floor between his spread legs. He takes one step before Bucky clicks his tongue.

“S…sorry, Daddy,”

“Hmm,” Bucky hums, unconvinced, eyes still glued to the game. “Goin’ dumb already? Forgettin’ the rules so quickly?” His voice is laced in mock disappointment, a voice that serves only one purpose: fluster Steve. Steve whines softly as his cheeks heat up, body making a quiet thud against the carpet as he falls to his knees. He crawls over to Bucky slowly.

Bucky doesn’t even look down at him when he settles between Bucky’s legs, just puts his hand not holding the beer into Steve’s hair, tugging his hair back sharply. He snorts when Steve breathes in abruptly through his teeth.

“Get me out,” Bucky sighs, moving his hand down the back of Steve’s head and tugging on the lobe of his ear. “Ten minutes of the game left. Wanna come before it’s finished,”

“Yes, Daddy,” Steve murmurs, bringing his hands up to the waistband of Bucky’s shorts. He pulls them down swiftly, lets himself nuzzle against his daddy’s cock when it’s exposed. He feels Bucky twitch against his cheek, the only suggestion that Bucky isn’t as cool and calm as he pretends to be.

“Nine minutes,” Bucky’s voice sounds further away than it did before, clouded by the fog already settling in in Steve’s head. “Better hurry up, slut. Don’t wanna disappoint me, do you?”

“No,” He doesn’t need Bucky to verbalise any sort of threat, doesn’t have to hear what Buck will do if Steve doesn’t manage to obey. He whimpers suddenly when Bucky fists his hand through Steve’s hair again and tugs backwards harshly. Bucky’s eyes are hard when they meet Steve’s. Steve tries his hardest not to let his eyes close as he sobs. “Daddy! No, Daddy! ‘M sorry,”

“Good.” Bucky lets go of his hair again, turns back to the tv without sparing Steve another glance. “Eight minutes, thirty-seven,”

Steve’s not sure he’s even been so hard so quickly. It’s a mixture of the pain and the way Bucky is ignoring him, using him to get off but not giving him any attention. He doesn’t really know, isn’t sure, how he’s meant to get through the scene without coming until he’s giving permission.

He tries to distract himself as he sucks Bucky’s cock, but with the way his mind is getting foggier the longer he’s on his knees, he’s finding it difficult to focus on anything beyond the cock in his mouth. It’s heavy and hot and fills him up so nicely. He loves the way Bucky feels inside him, anyway at all, but if someone held a gun to his head and told him to choose, he’s probably say this is his favourite way. There’s just something so… nice about being on his knees in front of the man he loves, choking and spluttering and gagging on his cock, making Bucky feel good, not having to focus on anything except for pleasing his man.

It takes him off guard when Bucky spills down his throat, whatever grunts he makes muffled by the opening of the beer bottle in his mouth. Steve sighs happily when Bucky pulls him off his cock, making small, confused, pouty noises when Bucky pushes him back down, further. Steve mouths at the underside of his daddy’s cock, unsure what he’s expecting him to do. Bucky just laughs softly, keeps pushing Steve’s head, down the length of his cock and past his balls and oh.

Bucky’s laugh is breathy when he hears Steve’s broken whimper, feels Steve’s eyes fluttering against his thigh.

“You gonna get Daddy ready?” Bucky asks. He lifts one of his legs off the floor, stepping out of his shorts and setting his foot on the table next to where he’s set down his beer. Steve whimpers as the new position gives him more access to his daddy’s hole. “Yeah, that’s it,” Bucky encourages as Steve starts to lick, his laps growing more confident with Bucky’s low moans. “Such a good little toy,”

“Mmh,”

“Good,” Bucky shuffles slightly, bringing his hips forward. Steve moves with him, easy with the change of angle. “Give Daddy a finger, come on,”

Steve is…Steve is in heaven. He’s slow as he pushes a single finger into Bucky’s tight heat, moans even louder than Bucky does at the sensation. He’s slow, treats Bucky right, crooks his finger just right to rub over the bundle that he knows will drive his daddy wild and is rewarded with the most beautiful sound he thinks he’ll ever hear; a low groan of a noise, a deep rumble, a happy daddy sound and Steve ups his effort to make Bucky make more of those sounds. He takes his time but he still goes at Buck’s speed, adding another finger when he rumbles out “Another, Steve, c’mon,”.He laps around where Bucky’s rim is stretched around three of Steve’s fingers, not stopping even when he feels his spit drooling down his chin, dropping onto his own tits.

He lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched whine when Bucky pushes him back, bare foot pushing against his shoulder, not hard but firm enough that Steve can’t really push back against it, knows it won’t be well received. His face flushes when Bucky chuckles. He glances up, and it’s not fair how unaffected Bucky looks; his pupils are blown and there’s barely any blue in his eyes, but beyond that and the slight pink blush on his cheeks, barely noticeable if you’re not Steve, Bucky looks the same as he did when Steve stepped into their house. Even as he’s still got three of Steve’s fingers buried inside of him.

“You want somethin’, sugar?” Bucky asks, voice light with laughter. Steve’s own voice is barely above a whisper.

“Please,”

“Aw,” It’s almost effortless, the way Bucky changes from carefree and laughing to downright mocking Steve, cruel grin lighting up his face. “Stevie, you gotta problem down there?” He nods down to Steve’s cock, standing proud and deep red. Steve’s cheeks heat up to match the colour, and his eyes drop, trying to hide. Bucky purses his lips, clicks his tongue, and then makes Steve sob. “You think you’re gonna be able to last long enough to fuck Daddy?”

“Daddy!”

“Uh huh,” Bucky nods, frowning somewhat. He sighs, put on, when Steve peers back up at him. “I thought this might happen,” He smiles sympathetically, carding his fingers gently through Steve’s hair. “Got you a present to help you though, Stevie. What do we say?” He sounds so genuine, is the thing, like he was actually worried about Steve not managing and he actually wanted to help. Later, Steve will curse himself for falling for the act, falling into the trap Bucky set up so perfectly. For now, though, he smiles drowsily up at Bucky.

“Thank…thank you, Daddy,” It’s this moment that Bucky’s smirk comes back, big and cruel, and Steve realises his mistake. He swallows.

“You’re very welcome, baby,” Bucky pushes Steve back further, snickering at the look of Steve’s face when his fingers slide out with a wet sound. “Come on, come to the bedroom,” He helps Steve to his feet, steadying him when he stumbles slightly. Steve lets out a soft, happy moan when Bucky pulls him forwards, velvety lips meeting his own, moving together sweetly. He blinks heavily when Bucky pulls away, eyes clearing to see the amused look on Bucky’s face. “C’mon, doll. Don’t go dumb on me just yet. You’ve got a job to do,” He grins as he takes Steve’s hand in his own, tugging him up the stairs and towards their bedroom. Steve lets out a surprised gasp when Bucky suddenly pushes him backwards, big paw of a hand right in the middle of Steve’s chest, pressing him onto the bed. Bucky laughs and Steve swallows when Bucky kisses his cheek. He knows Bucky so well, better than anyone else in the world, and he knows what that kiss means. He’s not going to like what’s coming up. He’s going to love it, sure, but he’s not going to like it. Bucky’s clever like that. “Still w’ me, Stevie?” His head nods without him having to think, his voice horse.

“Gr’n, Daddy,”

“Good,” Bucky coos, patting his cheek just a little more than gently but not enough to sting. A love tap, in Bucky’s books. “You stay here, Daddy’s gonna go and get your gift, ‘kay?”

“Mmh’kay, Daddy,”

“Good boy,” He tracks Bucky’s movements until he’s deep inside their closet, hidden by the walls. Steve lets his eyes drift shut, trying to focus on the sound of Bucky pottering around, trying to calm himself down. He tries not to think about the gift that Bucky has gotten him, sure that it’s not going to be as nice as Bucky is making it out to be. He’s fairly certain that it will be some sort of ring, something to stop him coming as soon as he’s inside Bucky, something that can help him last. He understands, it’s entirely likely that as soon as he’s settled inside Bucky he won’t be able to help himself, but Bucky knows as well as Steve does that coming won’t stop him. They can both go six, seven, even eight times in one night at a push, barely going soft in between, so it’s not like coming too soon is going to prevent him from pleasing Bucky. But the thing with the cock ring, what he’s assuming Bucky is aiming for, is that Steve gets so impossibly sensitive with the ring on, unable to come but getting desperate to. It never fails to entertain Bucky when Steve gets like that. So, he assumes that’s what Bucky’s going to do.

He’s startled when Bucky clears his throat. His eyes fly open to meet Bucky’s, apology already on the tip of his tongue, but Bucky just smiles, cuts him off.

“Hi, baby,” His voice is sweet, more so than usual when the ring makes an appearance, and makes Steve second guess his assumptions. He still moans, though.

“Daddy…” Bucky chuckles as he makes his way over to the bed, crawling up Steve’s body until they’re face to face. He’s lost the rest of his clothes while he’s been gone, body beautifully bare and right up against Steve and Steve’s fairly sure this is an attempt on his life. It’s the only explanation. That’s Bucky’s aim for today’s play, and Steve is more than okay with anything Bucky wants. If Daddy wants it, Daddy can have it.

“You wanna see what I got you?”

“Please,” Steve whines, trying to stop his hips from humping up against Bucky’s solid thigh but it’s hard. Bucky’s thigh’s right there and Steve can feel it and it takes everything in him keep his hips down. Bucky grins, holding himself up with his metal arm, body hovering effortlessly. It’s not fair.

“I know you wanna make Daddy feel good, but ‘M just a lil worried that you won’t be able to last, doll,” He frowns mockingly as his right-hand slips between their bodies and flicks the head of Steve’s cock. He grins gleefully when Steve’s cock spurts a little. “See what I mean?” He laughs cruelly when Steve’s face glows red. “And I just wanna help you do what you want to do,” Steve’s fully expecting the ring. It’s the only thing in his head that makes any sense, so he’s a bit confused when Bucky just holds a dildo up. The confusion must be clear on his face, because Bucky’s grin turns into a sly smirk. Steve whimpers when Bucky turns the toy so the hollow base is visible. It suddenly clicks in Steve’s head. That’s going on his…yeah. This is definitely an attempt on his life. Bucky’s out to kill him. “Aren’t I the best Daddy, Stevie? Helping you like this?” Bucky laughs when Steve starts crying.

“Daddy!”

“You don’t sound very grateful, doll face,” Bucky frowns mockingly, lips pouting out slightly. “If you wanna make Daddy feel good, he deserves as long as he wants, right? You don’t wanna disappoint me, do you? Don’t wanna fill me up too soon so I can’t feel you?”

“Wanna…” Steve swallows as he shakes his head quickly. “Wanna make Daddy feel good,”

“Yeah, I thought so,” Bucky nods, huffing out a laugh. “You’ll be good and let me put this on you, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for Steve to respond, just lifts his hips up high enough that he can slip the straps of the harness around Steve’s waist. He pushes Steve hips back down when the straps are flat under his body, bringing them around the front and attaching one side to the ring at the end of the dildo. Steve doesn’t know where he found the time to reach for the lube, but when Bucky’s hand wraps around the length of his cock, it’s wet and warm and Steve’s in heaven. Or hell, judging by the sob that forces its way out of his throat.

Bucky’s hand moves up and down only twice before the toy is being lowered down over his cock. He whimpers when Bucky attaches the strap to the other side of the ring and tightens it, using his finger to make sure the material isn’t digging into Steve’s hips. Steve watches this time as Bucky reaches for the lube, putting more onto his hand and bringing his hand down to Steve’s cock.

He feels…disconnected. From his own body. He’s watching as Bucky’s hand moves up and down slowly, twisting just the way that Steve loves. He’s watching it happen, but he can’t feel it. Bucky snickers cruelly before he takes his hand away. He rolls over and settles against the pillows, shuffling back until he’s comfortable. He turns to Steve and raises his eyebrow.

“Come on then, toy,” Steve whimpers at the name, fighting to keep his eyes open. “Come and make me feel good. Do your job,” Steve’s slow as he makes his way over to Bucky, climbs up his body and holds himself up with one of his hands. He uses the other to steady the toy, line it up with Bucky’s hole. He knows Bucky can take it, has had Steve’s fingers in him for the better part of an hour, but he still goes slowly, lets Bucky feel every inch of the toy, of him, entering him. He wiggles only slightly as he bottoms out, snivelling at the sound of Bucky’s low groan as he gets used to the intrusion.

“Move,” He grunts out, tangling his hands in Steve’s hair and tightening them only slightly, enough to pull Steve’s head backwards to encourage him to move. “This is just what you wanted, right?” He groans out, grinning at the broken whimper that comes out of Steve’s mouth. “Just to be a toy for your Daddy’s pleasure, not distracted by that tiny clit between your legs?” Steve’s skin burns right down his body, his chest ablaze with the feeling Bucky is creating for him. “Maybe…maybe next time you can…you can be a pretty little flesh light for me. Nice and tight and-” He gasps sharply as Steve rocks forward sharply, right into his prostate. “-and hot, bouncing up an’ down on my cock like a lil bunny, pleasing me so well. Just like now,”

“Dad-ddy,” Steve whines, tears falling down his face and falling onto Bucky beneath him. Bucky frowns at the sound, pouting and widening his eyes.

“Oh, that’s not a happy noise,” He mocks, brushing Steve’s hair out of his face. He grips Steve’s chin, forces his face up, making his eyes meet his. “Doesn’t Daddy feel good, Stevie? You don’t sound like he feels good,”

“Daddy!” Steve sobs loudly, hips stuttering and face trying to fall into Bucky’s shoulder. The other man doesn’t let him hide, keeping his grip strong in the fringe of Steve’s hair and on his chin. Bucky is cruel, Steve realises, so terribly cruel. He knows what Bucky is doing, how he’s trying to make Steve feel and it’s working so well. Bucky keeps frowning.

“You’re making Daddy feel inadequate, baby. It’s my job to make you feel good. Is Daddy doing a bad job? Does Daddy not feel good?” It’s the most delicious mindfuck Steve has ever felt. He whines as Bucky looks at him expectantly, knowing what he wants him to say.

“Feel…” Steve gulps harshly, eyes closing and breathing going deep. His voice is quiet when he continues, breaking on each word. “Feels so good,” He opens his eyes again just in time to see Bucky’s smirk slowly grow.

“Good, baby,” He coos, letting go of Steve’s chin and instead patting him mockingly on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re feelin’ good. Makes me feel like a good Daddy, knowin’ that I’m pleasin’ you.” Steve groans, his hips stuttering again and resting flush against Bucky’s. The other man pinches the skin of Steve’s hip with a tut, causing him to yelp before continuing his movements. “Don’t ruin it, toy. You’ve been fuckin’ me so good, so well, make me feel so good, you better not stop now,”

“Won’t!” Steve gasps out, lifting himself back up and continuing his thrusts, harder and deeper than before, doing his best to please Bucky.

“Fuck,” The other man groans, fingers digging into Steve’s hips unintentionally with the pleasure. “Right there, toy, fuck,” Steve moans in tandem with Bucky, hips rolling forwards and slapping against Bucky’s skin, even if he can’t feel anything. He didn’t expect this to do it for him, not so much, but seeing the pleasure he’s giving Bucky without feeling anything? He’s feeling disconnected from his body in the best way.

The first time Bucky comes, Steve isn’t expecting it. He hasn’t noticed Bucky’s hand sneaking down in between them and starting to squeeze, to pull at himself. Bucky groans through it, not stopping his hand and not telling Steve to pause in his movements, milking the come out of himself.

“Keep going,” Bucky’s breathing is a little heavier than before, eyes still closed in pleasure. Steve imagines the way that Bucky would feel around him if he didn’t have this damn toy on, the way he would be clenching around him as he comes, the tight heat, the wet slide.

Steve’s so lost in his head he doesn’t notices that Bucky’s coming again, so soon after the last one. The noise he makes is more high pitched this time, the sensation of Steve still fucking into him quickly becoming too much when paired with the two successive orgasms.

“Wait,” He gasps, hands gripping Steve’s shoulders, stilling his movements. “Stop, toy,” His eyes are still closed, breathing heavily and voice mumbled. “Finished using you, finished playing,”

Bucky takes longer than he strictly needs to catch his breath, perfectly happy to watch at Steve squirms and whines and tries to get his attention. When he’s got his breath back, he rolls out from under Steve, manhandling him until he’s lying on his back with his hands gripping the bed frame, pressing down on them so Steve knows to keep them there. He himself lays on his side, facing his baby, letting his cheek rest on the palm of his hand. He’s slow as he undoes the straps of the harness, unclipping them and unthreading them from the base of the toy, but leaving the dildo over Steve’s cock. The other man chokes on a sob when Bucky slowly jacks the toy, eyes shining.

“Since you’re just a toy, you don’t need to come, right?” Bucky practically purrs, giddy in the afterglow of his orgasms, feasting off the whines Steve is producing. “That’s what you said to me, right? ‘Don’t need to come!’” He pitches his voice high, nasally, using it to taunt and embarrass Steve, grinning when he squeezes his eyes shut, turning his face away from Bucky to hide in his arms. Bucky just reaches out and grips his chin, hard, forcing his eyes open and to look at him. “’Just need Daddy’s come!’ That’s what you told me, yeah?”

“Don’t…don’t need to come,” Steve parrots, moans, low and broken, voice heavy with tears.

“But…” Steve perks up slightly when Bucky’s fingers leave his chin and reach down from the toy, lifting it slowly, so so slowlyoff Steve’s cock and letting it fall to the floor with a quiet thud. “That looks painful, Stevie,” Bucky coos as he nods at Steve’s cock, encouraging him to look down at it. Steve whimpers when he sees it, deep red and ever so stiff and leaking so much. “And ‘M not a cruel Daddy, am I, baby?”

“No, Nuh-uh,” Steve shakes his head as he answers quickly. “The…the best Daddy-”

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky laughs, holding a finger over Steve’s lips to get him to be quiet. “I’m not cruel, not gonna make you sleep like that, all heavy and full, so I’ll give you a choice,”

“Wha…”

“Hush,” Bucky shushes him, but not harshly, a complete contrast to the next words that come out of his mouth. “A choice. I can go and get the ice, or you can have a ruin.”

“No!” Steve wails. He sobs as Bucky smirks down at him, raising an eyebrow. “Please, Daddy, I-”

“You are just a toy.” Bucky sneers, slapping his hand down harshly on the meat of Steve’s tit, scoffing at the shrieking noise that Steve fails to hold in. “You’re my toy. And I’m bein’ gracious enough to give you a choice, Steven. I’m being nice. I don’t haveta be,” He uses the same hand that he slapped Steve with to tug at his nipple instead. “You got three seconds to make a choice, or Daddy’ll make it for you. And Daddy’s startin’ to lose his patience,” Steve sobs at the sing-song tone in Bucky’s voice, the way his eyes are shining. He tries his best to think about which of the two options are the best, which one will hurt less but his mind doesn’t seem to want to work. He’s struggling to think beyond the pinch of Bucky’s metal fingers on his nipples and the ache in his cock, that’s heavy and purpling and weeping and-

“Wanna-” His voice breaks around the word, throat impossibly dry. “Wanna empty, please,”

“Good choice,” Bucky finally relents on Steve’s tits, rearranging himself so he’s on his back and leaning against the stack of pillows. He holds his right hand over Steve’s mouth. “Lick,” He tells him, voice sounding bored, while his attention focuses on turning the tv on and flicking through the channels. When he’s decided that his hand is wet enough, he clenches it into a loose fist and holds it above Steve’s cock, just high enough that Steve will have to struggle to fuck up into without the use of his hands. “Get on with it, then,” Bucky says, voice light like he’s not interested, like he’s paying attention to the dumb reality show that he’s landed on. Steve knows it’s just an act, but God is Bucky the star of the show, the best actor Steve has ever seen, playing a role that was literally written for him. It’s an act, but it works so well, spurs Steve on to do a good job, to please his daddy.

Steve whimpers almost continuously as he thrusts his hips up, having to plant his feet into the mattress to get any sort of stimulation from Bucky’s loose hand. He’s close embarrassingly quickly, despite not having had his cock touched for more than a few seconds at the start of their scene. He tries to tell Bucky this, but the words won’t come out of his mouth.

Bucky doesn’t need the words though. He never has, has always been able to read Steve like he’s his favourite book, cover well worn and pages becoming tattered with the amount of thumbing through that has happened. He doesn’t even look at Steve as he tightens his hand, starts jacking up and down quickly. Steve’s mouth drops open but no sound comes out. He tries, tries to warn Bucky, he’s right on the edge, is teetering over, is starting to-

Bucky takes his hand away.

Steve sobs, loud and uninhibited, tears pouring out of his eyes at the sudden loss of sensation. He’s vaguely aware of one of Bucky’s paws on his chest, holding him down and stopping him thrusting up in any capacity. He can’t focus on anything, there’s nothing to ground him, to take him away from this feeling of anguish he is feeling.

He stops coming at some point, can feel his dick twitch as it finishes, leaving him feeling empty but terribly unsatisfied, an achy buzz he can’t escape from.

He can’t focus on anything, mind floating somewhere a million miles from earth. He can feel the vibrations of someone, Daddy, talking, whispering into his skin as something warm glides over Steve’s body. He can’t make out the individual words his daddy is saying, but he can feel the smiles, the soft kisses being littered across his warm skin.

When he lands again, he’s not sure how much time has passed. He’s face down on the bed, still naked, but he can feel his hair is damp, can smell the coconut of the shampoo. There are fingers dancing up and down the expanse of his back. He lets out a hoarse giggle.

“You back w’ me, Stevie?” Bucky whispers, hands stilling for a moment before they continue their journey up and down Steve’s back. Steve can’t answer with more than a hum but does turn his face and blinks owlishly up at Bucky. “There he is, my gorgeous boy,”

“Daddy…”

“The most beautiful boy. The best boy, best I could ever ask for. You were so good for me, Stevie,” Bucky smiles into Steve’s hair as he presses kisses into the softness. Steve presses into the feeling, squirming and wriggling on the bed, trying to get closer to Bucky. The other man chuckles at him, using one of his legs to hook over Steve’s, pulling him until he’s lying right on top of Bucky’s body, hairs tickling Bucky’s nose.

“Mhmm,” Steve sighs, nuzzling his cheek into Bucky’s chest.

“You’re like a damn cat, Stevie.”

Steve purrs happily.

#stucky #stucky smut #bucky x steve #bucky/steve #dom bucky barnes #sub steve rogers #top steve rogers #bottom bucky barnes #bucky barnes #steve rogers #daddy bucky barnes

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onceuponastory · 3 years

Text

guilty - b.b x reader

Darling, darling, darling, let me sing to you Let me sing to you, let me sing to you Darling, darling, darling, let me shelter you Let you into all the homes that fear has made of me How the shingles fall like dust beside your company - little words: the happy fits (also you should check out the happy fits, cause their music is really good! highly recommend.)

Plot: Bucky tells his girlfriend Y/N the truth about his past...and all the bodies left in his wake. A/N: My friends requested Bucky being told that what happened to him and what he did as The Winter Soldier wasn’t his fault. They also wanted to see more emotional Bucky, like the opening scene of TFATWS episode 4, so I happily obliged! cause Bucky Barnes is not a villain and if you think he is gtfo. Also, chapter 2 of ever after is coming, it’s just these chapters are turning out to be way longer than I first thought, lmao. Warnings: Mentions of blood, violence, torture, death...basically everything Bucky did as TWS. Also a lot of self loathing. This is a very angsty fic, but there’s a happy ending!

There are a lot of things in life that Bucky Barnes hates. The rain, for one thing. And John Walker. But most of all, what Bucky hates is feeling guilty. And with a past stained with as much blood as his...he has a lot to feel guilty about. It’s not that Bucky doesn’t want to feel guilty or atone for what he did, completely the opposite, in fact. He hates being unable to sleep at night without hearing screaming or seeing the blood he spilt. In all honesty, Bucky just wants it to stop. He hates closing his eyes every night and dreads actually falling asleep because he knows that’s when the nightmares begin.

Bucky peers over from his spot on the couch to watch his girlfriend Y/N as she cleans up the things from dinner. She’s always been so sweet to him, and it breaks his heart to know that he’s not the kind of person she thinks he is. The complete opposite, actually. But most of all, Bucky hates how he knows he still hasn’t told her about his past and the type of person he used to be. He doesn’t want to tell her, not wanting to destroy her happiness. Bucky imagines how she’ll react when he tells her. Probably run screaming in the other direction, or dump him immediately. And even though it breaks his heart to imagine that...he knows it’s what he deserves. But first, he has to tell her..and he’s going to do it today...If he can work up the guts to tell her, that is.

“Y/N? Doll? Can you come here for a sec? Please?” Bucky asks, trying to make his voice more serious, but still hating how nervous he sounds. Y/N walks over to him. She raises an eyebrow, clearly confused. Bucky clears his throat and pats the seat beside him on the couch, motioning for her to sit, which she does.

“Buck? What’s going on?” She asks. Bucky tries not to wince at the fact she used his nickname. It still feels weird to him. Weird that he’s still alive, still loved by people enough to have a nickname, to have a girlfriend, and to be given a chance at redemption...even with all this blood on his hands. And when all the people he killed didn’t even have the opportunity to grow old and be loved. He ruined so many lives. Why should he be the one to find happiness? Why isn’t he the one who died? “Bucky?” Y/N cuts into his thoughts. She’s looking up at him, her eyes full of concern. Again, Bucky wonders what will happen when he tells her the truth. Will she even love him anymore? Or will she run for the hills?

“I uh...” He clears his throat. “I have something I need to tell you.” Her eyes widen slightly, and before Bucky can even think about what he’s going to say next, she asks:

“Did you cheat on me? Please tell me you didn’t.” For a moment, Bucky considers lying and telling her that he did cheat. Even though it’ll break her heart, it’s a lot better than admitting you’re responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, regardless of whether or not he was brainwashed into doing so. That way, he can protect her from ever finding out the truth. She’d leave, and he could go back to being alone. Even though the very idea of losing Y/N and being alone forever hurts, Bucky knows that it’s the least of what he deserves. “Bucky, please. Just tell me the truth.” She pleads, and Bucky can see her eyes glistening with tears. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it and hopefully work through it.” Bucky’s not too sure about that one. He sighs. Even though the truth was a lot worse, Bucky knows Y/N deserves to hear it...even if it might destroy their relationship.

“No, it’s not like that. I didn’t cheat.” Y/N sighs, and relief floods her features.

“Good. I didn’t think you would do that to me. You’re not that kind of person.” Bucky feels his heart shatter. She doesn’t even know the kind of person he really was. The merciless killer. The Winter Soldier. Someone responsible for so much pain and suffering. Bucky takes her hands. He runs his non-metal thumb over her knuckles, trying not to stare too long at his metal arm and hand. Even though he was given a different one in Wakanda, one not tied to suffering, one without blood on it...seeing his metal arm still reminds him of the pain his previous one caused. “What do you need to tell me?”

“Um...” He sighs, trying to find the words. “Remember ages ago, when Sam said something happened to me? Something bad?” Y/N nods. “Well...he wasn’t exactly honest. I mean, yeah, something bad happened to me. But I did something bad. Something...worse.” She frowns. “Back when I was in World War Two with Steve, my unit got captured, and they experimented on me.”

“I know this. You and Steve told me.” Y/N cuts him off.

“I know...but you don’t know the full extent of it.” Bucky sighs, memories flooding his brain. He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to block them out. “They injected me with super-soldier serum, which helped me to survive the train fall, as you know.” She nods, listening intently. “Well. I didn’t just sit and wait for Steve to find me or escape heroically or anything. I, um...I....” He takes a deep breath. Y/N squeezes his hand, and Bucky almost breaks down in tears right then. She’s too sweet for him. He doesn’t deserve her. “I was taken by the Soviet Wing of Hydra, and they wiped my memories, implanted these...trigger words in me so I’d do whatever they want. I became their...assassin.”

“What are you saying?” She asks.

“I’m saying...I was the Winter Soldier. The monster that killed innocent people and injured countless others. I’ve left so many bodies in my wake...and done so many bad things Y/N. And I don’t deserve any of...this.” He waves his free hand around at the apartment they’re both in...and at her. Y/N blinks back at him, looking slightly shocked at Bucky’s revelation. “And I definitely don’t deserve someone like you. Not after what I did or who I was. The person who tried to kill Steve, Sam, Fury and Nat-”

“But you didn’t, Bucky, you-” She leans in closer, reaching her hand closer to the forearm of his metal arm.

“BUT I TRIED TO!” He exclaims, cutting her off as he jerks his metal arm back. Y/N jumps back a little, a look of fear crossing her face for a moment. That makes Bucky feel even worse. Even though Ayo and Shuri helped rehabilitate him, and Ayo removed his trigger words, Bucky has spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning. He stays awake almost all night, wondering how much of The Winter Soldier remains within him and whether he’d hurt or scare anyone that way again. Seeing the look of fear on Y/N’s face tells him only one thing: he’s still the same monster he was before. And now he’s scared the one person he wanted to protect. Bucky panics, and his stomach drops. Drops into a black hole that he wishes would swallow him whole. “I’m sorry, I-I I didn’t mean to-” He stammers, tripping over his words. Tears threaten to spill over, and he gets up from the couch quickly. “I’m sorry....I-I should just go. Maybe just...don’t contact me. I don’t want to hurt you o-or...” Without another word, Bucky walks towards the door.

“Bucky! Bucky, wait!” He hears Y/N following him, and he tries to speed up to avoid her. “Wait, please! Please...don’t leave.” Bucky opens the front door to her apartment, and she runs in front of him, shielding the door with her body and placing her arms out so he can’t get by her. Bucky sighs. In the past, with his true strength, he could easily move her out of the way. But of course, there’s no way he would hurt her...at least, any more than he probably already has.

“Y/N. Let me get past, please.” He mumbles, and she shakes her head. “Doll....”

“No. I’m not moving.”

“Look, it’s better for both of us if I just go. I’m a monster. I always have been and always will be. That serum that turned me into this monster is still in my veins. Who’s to know when it will strike again, even stronger, or if I hurt you? I can’t do that. I have to go.” He argues back, his voice quieter and shaky.

“No. You don’t. I’m not going to let you.”

“Y/N.” He sighs again, exasperated. “I don’t know why you’re fighting this so much. I mean...it’s nice, but trust me, I don’t deserve it. Now...” He leans in and presses a delicate kiss to her forehead. But despite how delicately he kisses her, there’s still pain behind that kiss. The pain of leaving Y/N, the only woman he’s ever loved, forever. Bucky almost scoffs at that. Even when he’s trying to be tender and loving...all he does is cause pain. But after everything he’s done, Bucky knows that pain is what he deserves. And Y/N deserves someone better than him. Even though saying that still breaks his heart, he knows it’s true. “You need to let me go. Please. Just let me go.” He whispers, tears falling slowly down his cheeks. Y/N shakes her head again.

“No. Stop asking me to, because I won’t.”

“Why not? You know-”

“Because!” She shouts, snapping her head up to him, tears filling her eyes too. “...Because I’m in love with you, Bucky, and hearing you talk about yourself like that, and saying you don’t deserve to be loved...it breaks my heart.” Bucky blinks at her, confused.

“But-but I did so many bad things!”

“When you were brainwashed!” She snaps back. “I know you killed people. But it wasn’t your choice. Was it?” She asks. Bucky shakes his head. Of course, it wasn’t his choice...but he still did it. And he still has to live with it. “See? It wasn’t you, Bucky. They turned you into that person. It wasn’t your conscious choice.”

“But I-” Bucky tries to argue back, but Y/N interrupts him again

“Listen. The way I see it, you were kidnapped whilst you were trying to save the world. And when that happened, they tortured you and forced the serum on you whilst Steve chose to get it, right?” Bucky nods. “And then, they kidnapped you again, wiped your memories and forced you to kill all those people.”

“Well, yes, but I-”

“Bucky. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t your choice. It's not your fault. I know you didn’t want to do those horrible things. And you’re atoning for them, aren’t you?” Bucky frowns.

“How...how do you know that?”

“I found your notebook. Sam told me it used to be Steve’s. I uh...I had a look inside and saw a list of names. Are those the people you wronged?” Bucky nods, feeling tears growing in his eyes again.

“My uh...my therapist suggested it would be useful. It’s part of my pardon, I think. But I wanted to anyway.”

Y/N’s eyes soften. “See Bucky? The fact you’re atoning and that you actually want to, means so much about you. You’re trying to do the right thing.” She steps forward and gently takes his hands in hers. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. Because I know that’s not you. It wasn’t you then, and it’s not now. You’re the kind of guy who brings me ice cream when I’m upset, who laughs at pictures and videos of cats, and sings along to Disney films with me. You’re not a killer. You are not The Winter Soldier. Your name is James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and it’s not your fault.” Bucky is silent for a while, as he can’t even think of something to say. He’s simply overwhelmed with emotion and the feeling of having someone like Y/N loving and supporting him. So overwhelmed, in fact, that he starts crying. Actually, he starts sobbing as the years of pent up emotion spill over. Y/N wraps her arms around him and pulls him closer. Bucky doesn’t even try to stop her, and just wraps his arms around her in return. He feels like his legs are about to give way at any moment and that he’s definitely covering her outfit in snot and tears, but she doesn’t seem to care. All she does is repeat: “You are not The Winter Soldier anymore. Your name is James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and it’s not your fault.” She continues this phrase, trying to drill into Bucky that it’s not his fault. After a while, Bucky feels his legs give out, and the pair crash to the floor, but Y/N doesn’t let go. She squeezes him even tighter as Bucky’s body shakes as he cries, so tightly it’s as if she’s trying to transfer all her love and warmth into him. “I love you. So much.” She whispers, softly kissing him on the lips.

“I love you too.” Bucky whispers. Y/N pulls away and looks over at him, her eyes full of love and support.

“I’m here for you. I always will be. You deserve love. It’s not your fault Bucky. It never was.” She whispers. And for the first time in forever...Bucky starts to believe that. Of course, he knows he still has a lot of healing and therapy to go through. But, he knows that as long as he has Y/N there to support him, he’ll be okay.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes one shot #bucky oneshot #bucky one shot

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theconstantsidekick · 3 years

Text

Truth (3) | b.b

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader, Past Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, OC x Stark!Reader (brief)

Genre: Fluff with a touch of angst.

Summary: Sam and Bucky call on the only Stark left in the Superhero business—codename Static—to help take down the Flag Smashers. Only problem is, she’s pretty damn reluctant.

(These scenes incorporate y/n into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren't mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing.

a/n: Aight, aight. Here’s the skinny; I function purely on attention and praise, so please leave a comment. I’m a narcissist; I make no apologies. I love reading your hot takes. Entertain me in exchange for all the entertainment I’m providing you. Also oh, the tag list is open.

sidenote: I might have gotten carried away with this one.

Truth (2) | Truth (4) | Series Masterlist

It’s almost 2 a.m. in the middle of the night when Y/n is woken by her phone buzzing silently. It doesn’t take much for her to stir awake, seeing as she wasn’t having the most peaceful sleep to begin with.

She turns to her side, atop the air mattress she’s lying on, in the middle of Sarah’s living room. Grabbing her phone, she gets up and begins walking out to the backyard. Bucky is sleeping next to her on the couch and she understands how precious sleep is to people like them, and therefore doesn’t intend on disturbing him out of it.

Opening the door to the backyard, she picks up the call, “Hello?” She steps out onto the porch, pulling on the sleeves of the sweatshirt she’s borrowed from Sarah. “Is everything okay?” She asks, concerned.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. We’re fine,” comes the reply, and Y/n can finally breathe again. “Sorry for waking you, but she had a nightmare,” Pepper adds.

“Sleeping’s for losers without PTSD anyway,” Y/n throws back. She can hear Pepper let out a snort in response. “Can you give her the phone?”

“Sure. Hold on.”

There’s some shuffling around and then, “Hey Annie,” comes a small, almost sleepy voice of the world’s cutest niece.

“Hey pumpkin,” Y/n coos, softly. “You alright?”

“Yes. Just had a bad dream,” Morgan replies.

“You wanna tell me about it?” Y/n asks, taking a few steps and sitting down on the steps down the porch.

“You didn’t come home.”

And fuck, if that doesn’t break Y/n’s fragile alien heart. She wishes she could use her powers right about now, teleport over to her side. It would have probably taken her about an hour and stripped her of all her energy but it would have been worth it. There isn’t much she wouldn’t do for the kid.

“Well that should be proof enough that it was just a stupid little dream and nothing more,” Y/n says, her voice light and easy. Which is a stark contrast to how her insides feel. Because she is constantly afraid of it, just as much as Morgan. She is afraid that she won’t make it home to her like Tony couldn’t. Just the thought of it chokes her up but she can’t let that fall on the shoulders of her cute little pumpkin. “I’ll always come home, pumpkin," she promises.

“But you’re fighting bad people… like dad did.”

That throws Y/n for a spin, she hasn’t told Morgan about the mission and she’s sure Pepper hasn’t either. But now’s not the time for that. She counters. “I know, but this is different. These people aren’t as strong.”

“Promise?” She asks.

“Promise, kiddo,” Y/n assures.

“Does that mean I can come help?” The sudden shift in tone from worry to excitement throws her off for a second.

“Absolutely not!” Y/n chides, “And hush,” she shushes, “Your mom hears that and I won’t get to see the sun rise.”

“But then who will watch your back?” Morgan argues, whining.

Y/n has to laugh at that, “I’ve got—Uh—my friends,” she concedes.

Morgan grumbles in response, “But I was supposed to ‘watch your six’,” she recites as taught by Y/n. And the smile won’t leave her damn face. “It’s not fair! You promised!”

“Alright, alright. Here’s what; they’ll watch my back till you’re all grown up and battle ready, how about that?” Y/n suggests. “Not a replacement, more like... place holders.”

She can practically hear Morgan thinking her offer over.

Once she’s presumably assessed all the pros and cons of the proposition she replies, “Okay,” she acquiesces. “But only for a bit.”

“Only for a bit,” Y/n confirms.

She can hear Morgan let out a yawn on the other side, so she asks, “You think you could give sleeping the old college try for me?”

Morgan grumbles, “Not sleepy.” And after a pause she adds, “Miss you.”

Y/n sighs audibly, her head falling “I miss you too, pumpkin.”

They haven’t known each other long, what with her being born while Y/n was legally dead. But in the last few months the kid’s managed to crawl into Y/n’s alien heart and burrowed a giant Morgan-shaped hole in it, all for herself. And for the life of her, Y/n can’t complain about it.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Y/n suggests, “You go to sleep now, and I promise I’ll take you to the aquarium tomorrow.”

Morgan lets out a sleepy cheer, and Y/n knows she’s been won over. But another part of Y/n knows that the kid had been aiming for the said outcome all along and she’s just managed to play into her hands. In all honesty though, Y/n doesn’t mind.

“Alright, alright. Quit fussing and go to sleep or I swear I’ll go without you,” Y/n chides without any heat.

“Night, Annie… love you.”

“Love you too, pumpkin,” Y/n breathes. “Night.” She runs a hand through her hair. She can hear Pepper tuck her in, turn off the lamp and walk out the door.

“Thanks for that,” Pepper says.

“Fuck off,” Y/n throws back, incredulous.

Pepper chuckles softly, “Fine, fine… You had that coming anyway. You’ve been taking too many sick days.”

Y/n groans, “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just—”

“—duty calling. I understand. Relax”

She sighs, “She knows about that by the way.”

“I know. Saw the news and figured it out.”

“Can’t even leave her alone with a T.V. now. Does she really have to grow up?”

She can hear Pepper smile in response. After a second Pepper says, “You don’t have to come back tomorrow if you can’t. She'll understa—”

“I can and I will… I’ll be there.” Her voice is filled with determination.

Pepper on the other line is silent for a second and then says, “You’ll be here, Y/n.”

Y/n feels a tear suddenly fall down her cheek, but she doesn’t have time to deal with that because she can sense someone opening the door behind her.

“Thanks Pep.” She wipes away the stray tear.

“Fuck off,” Pepper mimics her words back at her.

Y/n chuckles as the door behind her opens, “Okay, okay. Night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night Y/n, take care.”

And with that she hangs up and pockets her phone, looking back as Bucky leans on the doorframe. Lit only by the moonlight and nothing else, the man still manages to look like the damn sun. Especially with that soft smile gracing his face.

He takes a few steps and sits down on the steps next to Y/n, angled towards her, with his back to the railing. He pulls up one leg, folding it and rests the other one on top. She turns her head to look back at him, as he continues looking at her.

They sit in amiable silence until he breaks it a few moments later, “So… Brekker?” He asks, nodding at the phone in her hands.

She lets out a laugh. “No! No… It was Pepper,” she looks away from him, “Morgan had a nightmare.”

“Is she—Is she okay now?” Bucky asks, hesitantly.

She understands the reason behind it. They’re talking about Tony’s daughter. He isn’t sure how to navigate that territory.

“Yeah… just worried about me, I guess,” Y/n explains.

“You told her about this—”

“Oh no, no no,” she says, her hands flying up in opposition, “I want her as far away from this stuff as possible.”

“Then how?” Bucky asks, confused.

“I usually hang out with her whenever Pepper’s at work. I haven’t done that since this whole thing started and then she saw something on the news, I think. Must have put two and two together.”

“Smart kid,” Bucky remarks with a smile.

“You have no idea,” Y/n throws back with a smile of her own.

There's a question swimming in Bucky's head. It's on the tip of his tongue, she can see it. But he seems hesitant about asking it. So she gives him the time to make his decision.

"Is that part of the reason why you don't want to do this anymore?" He asks, still hesitant. "Morgan, I mean?"

Motherfucker.

No one should be able to read her as well as he is right now. She's a trained spy for Christ's sake!

"I don't want her to worry," she replies almost helplessly.

"What does she think about it?" Bucky asks, his tone somewhat knowing.

Y/n smiles, "She thinks I'm too infallible for it to be an issue."

"Like I said; smart kid," Bucky remarks, his lips curving up in the corner.

Their eyes meet and something in the air changes. Maybe it’s the moonlight or the silence or the solitude with a field stretching ahead of them. Or maybe it’s just them and the way they look at each other. But something’s happening, cause all Y/n can focus on are Bucky’s lips, which he wets with his tongue, torturously slowly. She copies the action, feeling as though they’re on the brink of something… something that’s so close—

Bucky clears his throat, breaking the trance, “Glad it wasn’t Brekker… I thought he was just a huge fan of watching fish.”

Y/n is fucking disappointed but she can’t help but laugh, realizing that in an attempt to cut the tension in the air he’s revealed that he was listening in on her. He soon realizes it himself as well and suddenly the laugh drops off.

“You know, just cause you can eavesdrop, doesn’t mean you should,” she reprimands him jovially. “I mean, I could have stabbed Zemo in the eye, doesn’t mean I should have.”

“Wouldn’t hear me complain if you did,” Bucky throws back, recomposing himself.

“Nah,” Y/n breathes out, “I don’t hate him enough for it.”

“Really?” Bucky balks at her. When she shrugs in response, he asks, “How can you not? Af—After… Siberia…” he drifts off.

“I didn’t say I was fond of him… I’m just saying I get it. If I had lost my family like that.. If I were him, I would have done the same thing.” She pauses, “You do crazy shit for the people you love.”

“But you didn’t,” Bucky interrupts. She looks back at him in confusion, until he adds, “With Howard… I mean, he took you in after I—after Hydra did what it did to you. He gave you a home. And I—”

“Wasn’t you,” Y/n interrupts him.

“—I killed him.” Bucky barrels on, ignoring her. “And you forgave me. You didn’t seek vengeance, you just—”

“—beat the shit out of every Hydra operative I could find, and took down as many bases as possible.” Y/n finishes. “Hydra took a lot from me. Used me for their stupid fascist missions and sometimes, I can’t lie, it does feel like it was almost too much… But I took my revenge, James.” She moves in closer and puts her hand into his, lacing them together before she adds, “I took it tenfold. It was just never meant to be on you, because you were a victim too.”

She can see his eyes water, and hates the sight. So she clenches his hand tightly, using the other to brush away the tear that he cannot stop from falling. His eyes fall shut and he leans into the touch, and her insides crumble into mush. Suddenly she asks, “Tell me about how you met Steve.”

“What?” Bucky asks, confused with his brows furrowed at the change of topic. “Where did that come from?”

“I’m missing the smile, sunshine,” she answers simply. She runs her thumb over his brows gently, “Frowns don’t suit you as much… So come on? I wanna know how America’s most reckless duo came to be.”

Bucky let out a watery chuckle, “I thought you hate him.”

“Why would I hate him? Cause he left me for another woman?” She asks sarcastically. Bucky laughs again, she joins in. “Nah, I don’t hate him,” she admits. “Besides, this is about you, not him.”

The look that Bucky gives her is one she cannot read. It seems similar to realization but there’s something in there she hasn’t seen before.

“Alright,” Bucky surrenders. “We were—twelve? Thirteen? Somewhere in between. I’m walking down the street, heading home. I turn a corner and there he is, a scrawny little blond boy fighting off four kids twice his size. They were stealing his money, and yeah, we were all pretty damn poor. We lived in Brooklyn in the ‘30s, for fuck’s sake; money meant a lot. But it was a few cents, you know? Nothing worth getting beaten up over.” Bucky laughs reminiscing. “But the punk never walked away from a fight even if his life depended on it… So he’s obviously getting beaten to a pulp but won’t fucking relent. So I step in and throw the kids on their ass.”

“James Bucky Barnes has been kicking ass a long time, huh?” she teases. Bucky smiles.

“I was just bigger in size, that’s all… Anyway, I drag him back to my home cause he looks like he’s about to fall over and break if a strong breeze blows his way.” They both chuckle in unison. “So I get him home, sit him down and my sister patches him up—”

“Rebecca?” she asks, cutting him off. She remembers the way Bucky lit up when he talked about her during their last clandestine midnight convo on the plane.

Bucky nods with a smile, “Yeah, Bec. She loved Steve like a brother. Sometimes I think she loved him more than me.” He laughs again. “So did my maa. I mean I get why. He seemed like a goody-shoes while I was busy playing the ladies man.”

“Ladies man, huh?” That’s very new and very interesting information. And her question seems to hit the target just right, because he’s blushing again.

He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, “Well—I mean… I guess I was pretty damn charming when I needed to be,” he pauses before his smile falls. He adds, “But that was a long time ago.”

“I don’t know about that. You’re making me swoon as we speak, sunshine,” she notes looking at him. Her words, while meant to console him are painfully true. “I think you’re doing just fine.”

Bucky blushes again.

“Tell me more about your sisters. You were the eldest of four, right?” She urges him, and he tells her. Then he tells her about the Howling Commandos. And she knows them well enough to reply to a story about Dum Dum Dugan charging into an enemy camp and screaming swears in German, with a, “That sounds like something Dugan would do.”

“You knew him?” Bucky asks, shocked.

She nods, “I worked with Peggy till she was active on the field. So I met most of the Howling Commandos,” she informs him. “Oh!” she shouts out as she remembers.

Bucky jumps up at the sudden outburst, “What?”

“Jim Morita’s grandson is the Principal at Midtown School of Science and Tech down in Queens,” she tells him. "Looks just like him, spitting image."

“How do you know that?” Bucky asks curiously.

“I’ve met him once or twice,” she answers but is met with more curiosity from the man in front of her. “Peter goes there,” she explains.

“Peter?” Bucky asks, almost to himself as if running the name through his head, “Oh! The freakishly strong Spider-Kid?” He exclaims.

Y/n laughs, nodding. “Spider-Man,” she corrects him. “He’s a big fan of yours by the way. I mean, don’t get me wrong; he’s terrified of you but he thinks your arm is really cool.”

“Huh,” is all Bucky responds with. “Wait, when I called yesterday. It was him?”

Y/n nods. “We went to check out an exhibit at The Met.”

“Is that what you do when you’re not fighting bad guys? Chauffeur kids around?” He asks, chuckling.

“Mostly,” she replies.

And the rest of the night is spent talking about random things that have no business being talked about in the middle of the night. They keep at it till the sun comes up. And if they don’t let go of each other’s hands the entire night, no one has to know.

Read part 4 here.

Find series masterlist here.

tag list: @thisisparadisemylove@justab-eautifulmess@intothesoul @buckyisperfect @aryksworld @ceo-of-daichi @ireadthensuetheauthors @fckdeusername @hotleaf-juice@itspetitfantomestuff @jn-wolf@freeflyingphoenix @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @geek-and-proud @bduchrnskei @love-imagineitall @ironmansuucks @ahahafudge

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biisexualemma · 3 years

Text

home. pt 4. bucky barnes

word count: 4.1k

warnings: implications of sex (blink and you'll miss it), nudity (again nothing descriptive) but generally lots of fluff and tiny bit of angst

requested: yes and no but it's here anyway lol

plot: you're recovering from your mission with sam and his family, patiently awaiting for bucky to come home

a/n: thank you for the support on this series loool i hope you like this! i think this will likely be the last part! it rounds off quite nicely i think so hope this is a satisfying ending! i loved writing this, especially the bathroom scene! enjoy! comment! lmk what you think! (also sorry this is so long i got carried away when editing oop--)

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / marvel masterlist / multi-fandom masterlist

you huffed, swatting away the tiny hand prodding your forehead. when it persisted, you let out a throaty groan, forcing open your groggy eyes, to see cass, sam's nephew, nose to nose with you. you scrunched up your nose, squinting at him with tired eyes, before letting out a breathy laugh and shoving his face away with the palm of your hand.

"can't a girl get a lie in around here?" you grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as aj came running into the sitting room following his brother. you shot him a small smile, cautiously pushing yourself upright on the couch. you bit down on the inside of your cheek, the familiar sharpness shooting through your ribs as you repositioned yourself, trying to mask any pain you felt.

"nope," cass hopped on the end of the couch, sitting himself on top of you, shaking his head with a toothy grin. you let out a strained yawn, stretching your arms up over your head, having to force yourself awake. you winced, the stabbing pain returning as you dropped your arms back to your side. you tried to disguise it with a small laugh, ruffling up cass' hair, who was sat watching you from his end of the couch.

"mom had to go down to the harbour with uncle sam," aj informed you, positioning himself on the arm of the couch beside you. you nodded, sighing lightly, you slumped your shoulders, you were still tired. you had gotten pretty close to sam's family in the past week or so you'd spent on their couch, but it was so easy to love these kids. they were the sweetest, cheekiest kids you'd ever met. they reminded you so much of sam. "'told us to look after you."

"no," you shook your head, quickly protesting. "i'm the adult here."

"maybe," aj wore a wide, cheeky smile, dragging out the word. "but uncle sam says you're a hot mess, and that we gotta' help you out," you could hear sam saying this to his nephew. your eyebrows knitted, glancing between the two boys who were giggling as you feigned a look of hurt. you couldn't help but crack a small smile after a while, they were too easy and they were too cute to even pretend to be mad at.

"your uncle sam doesn't know what he's talking about," you waved away his comment. "i'm fine," you insisted quickly before a small, insubordinate smirk began forming on your lips. their faces lit up with small smiles, watching your every move, taking in everything you were saying. that was one thing you loved about kids, you could tell them absolutely anything and they would believe you, no questions asked. you turned your attention back to cass who was still sat, legs crossed, his weight crushing your feet a little (though you didn't mind so much). he had the cheekiest smile of the both of them. "so," you quirked an eyebrow. "are you gonna' sit on me all day or do you wanna eat some pancakes?" you had to suppress your laughter when his eyes widened, knowing just how much he loved breakfast food. kids were too easily persuaded.

his lips tightened, trying to hold back an excited smile. he glanced over at his older brother, trying to figure out if he was allowed to accept your offer, before his eyes moved back at you. you tilted your head, giving him a look. "well?" you teased, knowing you had him.

"pancakes!" he caved, just like you knew he would. you couldn't blame him, who could resist pancakes. his voice raised an octave higher in his excitement. you giggled as cass hopped off of you, running towards the kitchen with his older brother following behind him, just as enthusiastically.

you let out a soft humph, your smile falling a little as you dragged your feet over the side of the couch, letting them hang there for a moment. you were healing well, you just constantly felt wiped out now you had finally taken a breather. you hadn't realised how much you'd been pushing yourself during this mission, until you stopped. sam had noticed too, so he wasn't letting you contribute much around the house.

you had been hesitant to accept his offer at first, the last thing you wanted to do, after everything, was impose. you knew sam had his own stuff to work out too. but it was sarah, in the end, who reassured you that you were more than welcome to stick around as long as you needed. something about your presence around the house being much needed as she was currently outnumbered three to one. so, to try and make yourself somewhat useful, you offered to watch the boys anytime she needed.

you were grateful to them both for letting you crash, and, truthfully, you were happy you did take the offer in the end, it was much needed. it also helped that literally every single person you had met was kind and welcoming, something you hadn't felt in a while. that, along with sam's lovely family, was enough to keep your mind off things for a while.

things being bucky, who you hadn't heard from since the fight with walker. he hadn't checked in with you once. you knew he had his own stuff to handle but it still didn't make you feel great knowing he was out there god knows where, doing god knows what. it stung a little when he up and left you like that without a second thought. if he wasn't willing for you to tag along, you expected for him to communicate his plans to you, at the least. but you should've known, bucky had never been very good at communicating.

"y/n, c'mon! it's pancake time!" you were pulled out of your thoughts by aj, whose hand latched onto yours, urging you onto your feet. you forced a small smile, pushing any thoughts out of your head that didn't involve making pancakes, and ignoring the dull ache in your chest that came whenever you thought about him. if you just kept busy, you wouldn't have to think about any of it.

you lifted your hand to your face, wiping away the beads of sweat dripping from your forehead. the sun was high and it was sweltering, you hadn't adjusted to the louisiana heat yet and you weren't sure you ever would.

you peeled off the jacket that was starting to stick to your clammy skin, tossing it aside, deciding that now was a good time to take a break. collapsing onto an upturned crate, you let out a weighted sigh, squinting, using the back of your hand to shield your eyes as the sun shone down into your line of sight.

"here," sarah appeared behind you, handing over a cold bottle of water. you mumbled a quiet thank you, before quickly gulping down the refreshing water. you let out a content sigh after quenching your thirst, your shoulders slumping. she rested her hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently before taking a seat beside you. "how y'getting on?"

you shrugged, your eyes watching your feet, feeling the subtle sway of the boat floating on the water. "sam won't let me help with the heavy duty stuff, so he's got me painting," you motioned to the bucket of paint and the brush sitting on the ground where you had left them.

she nodded. "and how you feelin'?"

you straightened your back, lifting your gaze to meet her stare for a second. "i'm getting there. but this heat doesn't quit," she let out a soft laugh, nodding again.

"yeah, that's something you never really get used to," she patted your shoulder again, another soft, reassuring squeeze. "i gotta' run to the store, i'll be back in a half hour. need anything?" you shook your head, mumbling a quiet no thank you. "alright, well, don't strain yourself."

you rolled your eyes, halfheartedly. she wore a teasing smile, one that reminded you of sam. they were so alike, it was weird sometimes when you thought about how this was the life behind the man you had known for so many years. "i won't," she nudged your shoulder when you shook your head again. "not with sam around anyway," you joked, scrunching up your nose.

"hey," she called, edging away from you as she made to leave. you looked over at her, blocking the sun from your eyes with your hand. she quirked an eyebrow at you. "he's looking out for you! we all are," you tightened your lips, trying to disguise the smile growing on your lips. you nodded, waving goodbye as she left the boat.

it felt nice to have the small circle of people who cared for you, starting to grow.

a loud noise emitting from the other end of the boat caught your attention, your eyes widening when you spotted a cloud of steam gushing from one of the pipes. you darted over, your hands frantically hovering around the pipe as you tried to figure out how best to fix whatever it was that was broken. you rummaged through the tool box sitting next to you, and grabbed a wrench, purely because it felt the like the right tool to grab. in truth, you had no idea what the hell you were doing. you clapped the tool around the pipe, trying with all your might to stop the steam from spitting out.

"sam!" you hollered over your shoulder, trying to catch the mans attention so he could help you. "i have no idea what the hell i'm doing!" you called blindly in a panic, hoping someone would swing in and take over before you made this any worse.

"here," you felt a hand tap your shoulder, so you let go of the tool and stepped back. only it wasn't sam like you had expected. you stumbled backwards into sam, his hands touching your forearm as you regained your balance. it was bucky who had his hands clamped round the wrench, fixing the pipe with relative ease.

you gulped. you couldn't figure out how you were feeling now he was in front of you. your feelings were mixed. mainly you felt relieved that he was in front of you in one piece. "thanks," was all you managed to croak out once he turned to face you. his eyes focused on you, squinting from the sun in his eyes. he opened his mouth to say something to you when sam cut him off.

"why didn't you use your metal arm?" you raised an eyebrow, watching as bucky shrugged, his eyes dragging away from you and towards sam.

"i don't always think of it immediately," he admitted honestly. "i'm right handed."

you sighed. you sometimes wondered how this was the same man who traipsed around for ninety years as the winter soldier. you rolled your eyes, moving away from the two of them, returning to the painting you'd been hard at work with before all this commotion.

you'd just have to speak to bucky later, when you could be alone. right now, you were helping sam.

bucky had reluctantly agreed to stay the night after a long day working on the boat. you had been carefully avoiding him all day. you didn't feel much like hashing things out in front of sam and his entire family, so you stuck your head down and got on with your work.

but now it was pretty late, a lot of time had passed, and you had yet to catch your boyfriend alone. you figured a shower would do you good, to clean you up and hopefully clear your head.

your eyes were deeply focused on your own, watching yourself in the foggy mirror after finally leaving the comfort of the hot shower. your eyes were sunken, hollow almost as you looked back at yourself. you didn't look like yourself. you looked tired all the time, mainly because you were tired all the time.

you hadn't been sleeping as well without bucky next to you. along with sam's nephews waking you up at the crack of dawn every morning, you weren't getting as much sleep as you should be. though you couldn't blame the boys, they were excited to have someone in the house that let them do whatever they wanted to do (though it got you in trouble a fair bit). bucky, however, you could blame. if he had just told you straight where he was going, what his plan was. if he'd just contacted you so you knew he was ok all that time he was away. but he didn't. he left you behind to finish his own mission, not thinking twice about how it would make you feel.

your fingertips grazed over the skin of your neck, the bruising was finally starting to turn an ugly yellow colour, meaning it would start to fade away soon. most of your wounds had healed, you were mainly left with bruises and scabs and a subtle ache. nothing too serious. but it certainly made you look like hell.

you pursed your lips, your fingertips trailing down your chest, until gently brushing against the large purple-green bruise running across your ribs. you twisted your abdomen to get a better a look at the bruise that circled round to your back, wincing and gritting your teeth as you did. sam mentioned something about your ribs taking longer to heal than any of the other injuries, you just didn't think he meant it'd take this long.

you startled, flinching from the knock on the door, drifting you out of your thoughts and back to your current state. you grabbed a towel from the rack beside you and wrapped it around yourself. "yeah?" you called out in response to the knock. you wiped away the droplets of water covering your face with your hand, sniffling as you secured the towel around your chest.

"it's me," the soft, familiar voice muffled through the door dividing the two of you. you gulped, glancing at your reflection one last time, before turning away.

you hesitated, but ultimately unlocked the door and pulled it open. you turned back to the mirror, leaving the door to hang open as you stood with your back to him. he let himself in, locking the door again behind himself. he hovered by the door, falling back against it, his eyes watching carefully as you ran your hands over your face.

you glanced at him in the reflection of the mirror, out the corner of your eye. his eyes lingered over your body, only his eyes were just as hollow as yours. after a moment of silence, he let out a sigh, and edged across the small space to be closer to you. "hey," he mumbled softly, his hands gripping your waist over the towel. you took in a sharp breath, your hands quickly moving to his to pull them away from your tender bruises. you turned yourself to face him, still holding his hands that hovered over your waist now. his eyes widened slightly, moving back and forth between yours, looking for you to tell him what he'd done wrong.

"sore still," you scrunched up your nose, the ache slowly fading away again after he'd let go. it wasn't his fault, he wasn't to know.

his eyebrows creased together, his eyes trickling down to the visible bruises marked around your throat. he gulped, he gave your hands a soft squeeze before moving them to your shoulders. he couldn't pull his stare away from you, he was taking you all in. his fingertips pressing into your shoulders gently, his lips pursing.

"m'sorry," he mumbled in a whisper. his eyes lifting back up to yours again, soaked with guilt.

you shook your head faintly. "y'didn't know--"

"no--" he shook his head. "i'm sorry i left like that," his hands slipping from your shoulders, his soft touch trailing down your bare arms before gripping your forearms. he hadn't noticed the bandage on your wrist until his fingers grazed against the material. he scrunched up his face, his touch leaving you as he turned away. he moved a hand to his face, his forefinger and thumb trying to unknit the crease between his eyebrows.

"it's alright, buck," you spoke softly. it wasn't really ok, at least, not how he left. but you didn't want him beating himself up about you being hurt, that was part of the job, that had nothing to do with him. "i'm fine, really."

"you're still a terrible liar," his voice was cold, and your chest tightened. "i should've held back longer before i left," he shook his head again, his gaze dropping to the floor. "i should've said something," you let out a sigh, reaching out, your fingertips grazing his arm. he turned around under your touch, his jaw clenched when he met your eyes again. he never imagined being this much under someones control ever again. but here you were, and he would do anything you asked.

you pursed your lips. "maybe," you shrugged. you had given it some thought throughout the day. you couldn't hold a grudge against him forever, he made a split second decision, and he knew he was leaving you in capable hands. "but what's happened has happened. there was a lot going on. i'm sure you're still processing a lot of it."

he was pouring so much emotion into you with just a stare, your eyes fluttering as you held his gaze. "i was angry-- i didn't think everything through-- i just-- i knew i needed to deal with zemo."

you sniffled, gulping down the lump in your throat. "i get it. you didn't want me there to see any of it," you thought back to when bucky told you he never wanted you to have to see him as the winter soldier again. you thought back to watching bucky fight under zemo's control. you understood why he needed to do what he did, you'd said time and time again, you would kill zemo yourself when the mission was over.

"i didn't kill him," he admitted hesitantly. "the Dora Milaje took care of him."

you raised an eyebrow. "oh, that's so much worse for him," bucky nodded in agreement, his lips pursing. "good."

"yeah," he trailed off, his eyes glossing over for a moment as if lost in thought. you wished sometimes that you could see inside that head of his. you nudged his side after a while, mumbling a quiet hey, his eyes focusing back on you. he frowned. "what was the damage?"

you shrugged. "i think walker had a hearing--"

"no-- no--" he cut you off quickly, your mouth hanging open as he stopped you mid-sentence. "you. what's the extent of your injuries? how you feelin'?"

"oh," your eyebrows unknitted, shrugging again. "i--uh-- had a mild concussion. a few broken ribs and just a lot of bruising, some open wounds but it wasn't too bad considering i went up against a super soldier," you forced a smile, trying to ease some of the tension that bucky was creating with that frown on his face.

you moved your hand up to his face, cupping his cheek. your thumb grazed his cheek, and you remembered the gash across his face had healed since the last time you saw him. you gave him a genuine, soft smile in hopes of reassuring him. "i really am fine. sam says i just need to take it easy for a couple weeks."

he nodded faintly. he hovered his hand over yours, turning his cheek and pressing his lips to the palm of your hand. your eyelids fluttered feeling his lips touch your skin tenderly. made you realise just how much you had missed bucky since he'd been away. he squeezed your hand affectionately, his lips lingering on your skin.

your free hand quickly moved to your towel when it loosened around your chest, just catching it in time. bucky's eyes moved to your towel for a split second, like he was suddenly reminded that you were standing in front of him in practically nothing. his eyes remained soft as he looked at you though, he cleared his throat before moving his hand to your cheek, slipping his fingers into your wet hair gently.

"how're you healing?" he mumbled in a whisper.

you gulped, his eyes locked on yours as he spoke. your eyes darted back and forth between his. "bruises are still there but they're fading," you spoke softly now that he was close enough to you. you could feel his breath fanning against your skin. he nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to keep his eyes from drifting downwards. "wanna' see?"

his eyebrows twitched into a frown for only a second, unsure that he heard you correctly. "uh-- yeah," he breathed out, his breath grazing your skin. you untied the towel from round your chest, letting it fall to the floor beneath you with a soft thud.

bucky's jaw tightened. usually, quite happy to see you standing in front of him wearing absolutely nothing, he couldn't shift his eyes for a while from the enormous bruise covering your abdomen. his eyebrows unknitted, unsettled by the nasty bruise spread over your soft skin, his eyes shooting up to yours quickly.

"fuck walker," he muttered under his breath. "this is all from him?" you nodded faintly, eyes fluttering and your breath hitching in your throat when his fingers carefully brushed against the discoloured stretch of skin.

"it was a lot worse," you spoke in a hushed voice. "it's healed a lot."

bucky didn't speak for a while and neither did you, his eyes trailing over your body, unclothed facing him. after a moment, he got down onto his knees. you gulped, his head tilting back for a second, eyes meeting yours from beneath you. your breaths grew rapid the closer he got, his forehead gently falling against your bare stomach before pressing a soft kiss to the purple--green lesion covering your skin. you let out a shaky breath, shifting your arms so you could run your fingers through his hair. you still weren't used to the length.

"i love you," he mumbled against your skin. your hands stilled where they rested in his hair, moving to tilt his head back, forcing his eyes to meet yours again. he pressed another sweet kiss to your stomach before moving himself back up to your height. your eyes were wide slightly, your fingers slipping out from between his locks. both his hands moving to either side of your face now. "don't freak out on me, you don't have to say it back. 'just needed you to know what i was thinking."

"and you're thinking-- that you love me?" you reiterated. he nodded, the corner of his lips turning into a soft smile. you couldn't help but mimic his expression, your heart beating a bit harder now, the sound rushing through your ears. it had been a long time since someone had told you they loved you, and meant it. a warm feeling spread through your chest, you were on such a high, soaking in the way he was looking at you with tender eyes. "pretty sure i love you too, buck."

you were a hundred percent sure, you just didn't want to seem too keen. you were already standing in front of him naked.

his lips stretched into a wider smile, ducking his head for a second, remembering suddenly that you were in fact completely naked in front of him, and he hadn't done anything about it. you swallowed a small laugh escaping your lips, watching a realisation hit bucky before he ducked down to your height and pressed his lips against yours. you relished in the feeling. "i love you, i love you, i love you," he muttered repeatedly, his lips pushed against yours, your smile growing wider every time he said it. you choked out a laugh, pushing at bucky's chest so you could catch a breath.

"i get it," you scrunched up your nose. "you love me," you teased, laughing wholeheartedly. you felt warm and comforted and somewhat normal for the first time in a really long time. you nudged his chest once more, his hands gripping your hips to pull you back to him. "so show me."

bucky's smile grew with your words, his mouth hanging open for a second. he didn't know how things managed to work out this good for him, but he wasn't going to question it. he was going to enjoy every moment with you for as long as he could.

"oh, god," he let out a throaty wine. "gladly."

taglist: @lo-manburg @bluemoon-icecream @farfromjustordinary @stolenxkissess

240 notes · View notes

viperbarnes · 3 years

Text

The Tie That Binds – [Five of Eight]

[B. Barnes, Soulmate AU]

Summary: HYDRA took everything from you, your life, your future, they even burned off your soulmark to make sure nobody would go looking for you. Now the man they forced you to fix reappears in your life, to make amends and to be ‘of service’.

You know that they made him do all those things, that James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is not The Winter Soldier, that he’s innocent. You don’t blame him.

But that doesn’t make seeing him again any easier.

Warnings: Panic attacks, language, talk and depiction of home invasion and abduction, canon level violence, HYDRA levels of torture, angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, friends to lovers.

Note: I hope you enjoy!!!

<- Prev / Next ->

“What time is it there?”

“Same as New York, only it’s day time here.”

You hum softly and try to shuffle over onto your side, phone still pressed to your ear as you settle again. On the other end of the line, you can hear muffled street sounds, the hum of conversation in a language you don’t understand, and the occasional car horn. You remind yourself that Bucky hadn’t been gone all that long, barely three days now, and try not to feel foolish.

“Honey?” His voice is clear through the phone, like you could hear him for real in the room with you.

“Yeah, I’m still here. Was just moving.” You tell him. You can imagine him ducked into a nook of a brightly lit street, phone to his ear, his brow pinched in that worried way it often was.

“Is it helping?” He asks, but you let out a small sigh.

“No.”

Silence follows for a few seconds, and you listen closer to the sounds on the other end, trying to make a guess at where in the world he might be.

“I’m sorry, honey…” There’s more guilt in his voice than you like, and you can’t stop yourself from frowning deeply, despite the fact he can’t see you.

“It’s not your fault. You can’t just stop helping people because your girlfriend doesn’t like being alone…” You huff, rolling your eyes. You hear Bucky chuckle softly, and it makes your own lips quirk.

“I know, but I’m still sorry that you had a bad dream and that I’m not able to be there… I don’t like leaving anymore than you do.” He assures you, and you know he’s speaking the truth. Ever since your relationship had taken a turn for the romantic you’d been inseparable. Rarely did a day go by that you weren’t with one another, and contrary to what you might have thought before, being so used to your isolated existence, it didn’t feel suffocating.

Nothing felt as though it had changed all that much, it wasn’t as if the nature of your time together had really changed. You weren’t suddenly all over each other all the time, but there was a closeness, a tenderness now that underpinned everything.

You moved slow in some aspects, physicality mostly, and fast in others. Since Bucky had first kissed you over a month ago now, you’d started staying with one another through the night. You’d sleep beside one another, and truthfully, you hadn’t had such restful sleep since before HYDRA had kidnapped you. You’d been surprised when Bucky had told you of his initial hesitation, that he hadn’t wanted to wake you up with his own nightmares, but the nighttime company seemed to lend him a sense of calm as well.

Your stomach stirs at the thought of him not sleeping well while he was away either.

“I’ll be okay. I promise.” You assure him, pausing briefly before continuing.

“I just wanted to talk to you… hear your voice.” You confess, feeling rather silly, like a high schooler with a crush. Bucky hums down the line again, but this time, you imagine his sweet and bashful smile.

“I don’t think we’ll be here much longer, but just in case, why don’t you stay at mine until I get home?” He suggests. Bucky’s apartment was in a slightly nicer part of town, the building itself a little more secure and modern than yours.

You smile against the side of your phone, and nod.

“Okay. But you’ll try to let me know when you’re on your way home, right?” You both check and remind him, but you hardly need to. He meant it when he said he didn’t like going away as much as you didn’t.

“You’ll know the second I do, honey… If my phone still works.”

You chortle at the wince you hear in his voice, memories of a mission before last, when he’d used the device as parts in a makeshift bomb.

Reluctantly you bid goodnight, waiting until the very last second to hang up before you feel alone again in your far too empty bed. Unable to stare at the vacant spot next to you any longer, you decide to put Bucky’s advice into action sooner than the morning, gathering together a small bag of essentials before calling a ride service and making your way to Bucky’s apartment.

It’s still lonely without him, but between his sheets you’re able to slip back into sleep, dreaming of far more pleasant things this time.

---

Two days later you arrive home at Bucky’s apartment, cold, tired, and ready to crawl onto his couch and watch some mindless TV.

You’re still halfway through hanging up your coat and scarf when a noise makes you freeze. It was unidentifiable at first, just a sound that wasn’t supposed to be, but as you stop and listen closer, you can make out what you think is a very soft whisper, and some kind of scratching.

Your heartbeat hiccups, but it’s then, as you finish hanging your scarf on a hook, that you notice the dark black duffle bag kicked against the wall, right in front of your feet. This time your heart jumps for a different reason, and you swallow thickly.

“Bucky?!” You call out, hopeful and already moving quickly through the entryway.

“Living room!” His voice calls back, and you can’t help but smile widely as you step out of the hallway and spy the top of his head over the half wall that divided the kitchen and living space.

He’s sat on the floor, for some reason, between the couch and the TV, and at first you don’t think to question him, only freezing again when you move further into the home, and the whole scene is revealed to you fully.

“Hey baby,” Bucky beams at you, still in his uniform. You stare at him, mouth slightly ajar as you attempt to process what you were seeing.

“This is George.” He tells you, nodding down at the space between his crossed legs, where a seemingly very excited pitbull puppy struggles against Bucky’s arm to try and get to you. You blink at the dog, and then at Bucky, whose eyes have turned back to the dog as he softly calms him.

“Come and say hello before he wears a hole in me.” Bucky chortles, and you finally snap out of your surprise enough to inch closer to the pair, eventually kneeling down in front of them, and holding your hand out for the puppy to sniff.

“Hi George…!” You greet, unable to hold back a smile as the puppy immediately begins sniffing and licking your hand. You chuckle as you settle more comfortably on your knees, and lift both hands to give the dog some ear scratches.

“Why do you have a dog, Buck…?” You ask, laughter rolling over your words as the man releases his hold on the pup and lets him bound into your lap, where he promptly tries to climb you to lick your face.

“Woah now, Georgie, that’s my job…” Bucky teases, gently pulling the dog back just a little.

“He’s so happy!” You exclaim, shifting again so that you mirrored Bucky’s crossed-legs, and allowing George to settle between them, calming some as you pet behind his ears again.

“That’s just ‘cause I was tellin’ him all about you on the way home.” Bucky grins, leaning forward enough to press a brief kiss to your forehead in proper greeting. You shake your head and focus back on the puppy, running your finger from the tip of his nose to the top of his head.

“You gonna answer my question?” You prompt, and Bucky eyes you with a shrug.

“Saw a box of them on the street as Sam and I were getting ready to leave. He was the only one left.” He tells you with a little frown, watching George as the pup play with his hand. You get the feeling his story is heavily censored, if not wholly untrue, but you don’t ask.

You don’t want to know.

“So… you decided all of a sudden you were going to get a dog?” You prompt again, and his frown disappears as he fixes his gaze back on you.

“No, I decided to get a second.” He grins, only clarifying when you frown in confusion.

“… A second in command, I mean. Not a second dog.”

You still stare at him confused, though only a little less than before. It’s then that Bucky reaches out, scooping George up in his arms and holding him up to his chest like a baby.

“George is gonna keep you safe when I’m away,” Bucky explains, making your heart skip a beat.

“We’re gonna train him up real good, make sure he gets big and strong,” He looks up from the puppy then, and at you, his eyes softening.

“And maybe we can avoid more sleepless nights…”

You struggle to stop your lip from trembling at the sheer thoughtfulness of it all, but settle for shooting Bucky a watery smile before you lean in to brush your hand over George’s head lovingly.

“Thank you.” You say, leaning even further to press your lips to Bucky’s cheek. He smiles softly back at you as you pull away, and begin fussing with the puppy again.

“Why ‘George’?” You ask a small while later, finishing up a list you’d made of puppy things you had to buy, all the while Bucky played with your new little friend. He’d donated an old glove to the toy fund already, and you watch as the pair play a gentle game of tug-of-war.

“When I was a kid there was this local boxer, the best in Brooklyn, I reckon,” Bucky begins, but doesn’t look up from his game.

“They used to call him ‘The Pitbull’, but his real name was George.” He shrugs then, and throws you a small smile.

“Just thought it suited.”

---

The morning breeze whips against your cheeks, the tip of your nose bearing the brunt as well. It had been a while since you’d not only been awake so early, but ready and willing to leave the house too.

You had a good reason though, a reason you follow closely with your eyes as he darts across the dewy-wet grass, kicking up flecks of dirt as he goes, and you remind yourself you’ll need to give his feet a wipe down before you let him back into the apartment. The pitbull pup had filled out over the past three months, though he’d still get bigger the vet had told you. His grey-black coat had turned more grey than black, and his floppy little ears had become a little less floppy as he’d grown into them.

You grin as you watch Bucky play with him, running back and forth across a small area of the dog park, a large rope toy in his hand. Every so often he stops to let Georgie catch up to him, wrestling the toy from him, and then the chase swaps.

It was so nice to see Bucky completely and unabashedly carefree. Even before Georgie came along, as you’d settled into your relationship, you’d still catch him with a sad look on his face every so often. You would both speak candidly about your pasts, and no matter how your relationship had developed, neither of you would ever be able to change what had happened.

You still wondered if being with Bucky was the right thing. Choice or not, the universe had already dictated his soulmate, and someday that fact would rear its head again. You mostly tried to ignore it, to relish in what you had while you had it, but there was a part of you that knew deep down, it wasn’t forever.

“Brave choice,” A voice speaks up from nearby you, and you turn to find a woman around your age, her own dog sat patiently by her feet. She tosses a brightly coloured ball, and the dog takes off after it.

“Excuse me?” you ask, and the woman focuses back on you. She nods in the direction of Georgie and Bucky, with a not-unfriendly smile.

“A pitbull. It’s a brave choice you know. Lotta work.”

You can tell she wasn’t trying to be rude or condescending, but her opinions rub you the wrong way despite that.

“Not really,” you reply with a tight smile and a shrug.

“Just like any dog. You have to put in the work to get the results.”

“But Pitbulls are naturally more dangerous. That’s just a fact.” The woman’s dog returns to her, dropping the ball which she then tosses again.

“I disagree,” you try to refrain from displaying your own ‘natural’ danger, but your voice still holds a sharpness.

“It’s their environment that determines that.”

The woman hums in a decidedly condescending way.

You’re glad that she decides to run after her dog a fews seconds later, ending the short, but annoying conversation.

You look back at your two boys, your stomach churning, though you aren’t really sure why. Newly being a pitbull owner, you’d seen and heard plenty of shitty opinions online and in person during your research and finding a puppy-preschool course. None of these had really bothered you that much before, you’d usually just dismiss the arguments. Now though, you feel properly upset in a way that makes your hands shake, your coffee wobbling precariously in the cup you hold.

You aren’t even aware that you’re frowning deeply until Bucky pauses, sitting on the grass with Georgie draped over his legs, both seemingly out of breath. He looks around before he spots you, his smile dropping a few seconds later when he spies your sour expression. You look away briefly, trying to rid it from your features, but it’s too late.

Bucky scoops Georgie up, the puppy happy to be held, and collects the rope toy before he begins making his way back to you, concern creasing his brow. You greet you dog first when he’s close, cupping his face and scratching behind his ears, but it’s only a thinly veiled tactic not to look at your boyfriend. It fails anyway, as he sweeps down to peck your lips chastly.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asks, kneeling down to place Georgie back on the ground, and connecting his lead back to his collar again.

“Nothing,” you lie, receiving a frown in response.

“Really, it’s nothing. I’ll tell you later.” you brush it off more convincingly this time, and tuck yourself into Bucky’s side as you begin walking. He seems to accept this with a flat hum, but wraps his free arm around your back and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

You walk home sharing quiet conversation, and Bucky seemingly forgets about your glare and change in mood at the park, but you don’t.

It stays with you over the next couple of days, an unsettling and building upset. You aren’t sure if it makes you angry, or sad, or guilty even. It just makes you feel bad, and every time your mind is brought back to it, the weight of the emotions hit you heavily.

You’re standing at your stove, stirring the pasta sauce for dinner when it happens again. Bucky had gone to clean up some time ago, but last you’d checked he’d been lounging on your bed, Georgie cuddled up with him.

It was wrong for people to assume off the bat that your beautiful little puppy was somehow inherently worse, more aggressive or dangerous than other dogs. He’d never hurt a fly, and as long as he was brought up well and lived in a loving household, there was no reason that would suddenly change.

Pitbulls who were abused, or existed in places where aggression was rewarded and therefore exhibiting dangerous behaviours were made that way by human involvement, not by nature. Even then, the amount of stories of rehabilitated rescue pitbulls were more than abundant!

It hits you then, like a sack of bricks.

Bucky was the pitbull.

Not literally, of course, the woman had been explicitly referring to your dog, but internally, your anger and sadness and guilt had been about something else entirely.

It makes you feel even worse all of a sudden, because it wasn’t as if you hadn’t known this. You knew Bucky’s prior life and behaviour was entirely not of his own choosing, you know that HYDRA had forged him into what he’d been, and that with his freedom he’d chosen to change, to do and be better. To make amends.

You knew this, so why did this stupid anaology hit you so differently?

Your initial reaction to Bucky showing up again in your life wasn’t unfounded, you know you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. So where did the guilt come from? Was it only because now you knew him? Because of how things had changed and what you’d become to one another?

No, you realise, again rather suddenly, a second sack of bricks.

With Georgie around now, you got to see Bucky interacting with somebody else he adored, and the differences were stark. With Georgie, he wasn’t hesitance, there was no sense of cautiousness or reproach, but with you, there was.

Bucky was always so careful with you, always soft and gentle and aware. As if he himself wasn’t entirely sure you weren’t afraid.

You swallow thickly and shakily move to turn off the stove.

He almost never touched you with his left hand, if he could help it. The physicality between the two of you only extended to the occasional kiss and the closeness you’d share when you slept most nights. He never pressed beyond that, and while that was fine with you, you see it now in a different light. You don’t want to be in a relationship where one of you always felt like you were penitent.

You wonder if he thinks he doesn’t deserve more.

Slowly your feet carry you towards your bedroom, where you stop in the doorway to take in your view.

Bucky lay against your pillows, one arm tucked behind his head, and the other resting gently on Georgie’s, softly petting. The pup perks when he hears you though, sitting up and drawing Bucky’s attention too, before he gets up altogether and darts towards you.

“Probably thinks it’s dinner time.” Bucky remarks, and you shoot him a small smile, nodding.

“I’ll do it.” You tell him quietly. You quickly go about feeding your puppy, deciding it would be better to have him aside for the time being.

When you return, Bucky is sat up more, his phone in his hand, but he shuts it off and sets it aside when you enter the room. You aren’t sure how to say what you want to say, or even if Bucky would be honest in hearing it.

You don’t say anything as you join him on your bed, quickly curling up into his side.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, and you realise he hadn’t forgotten about the day at the dog park. You draw yourself even closer, hiding your face in his shoulder as he shuffles so that he can wrap you up with both arms.

“You still feel guilty,” You murmur, unsure of if that will even make sense, but you don’t know how else to order your thoughts. Bucky pauses, and in your mind you can picture his brow furrowing and his lips turning down in the corners.

“Of course I do,” he says then, and you’re both a little surprised and relieved that you don’t have to explain yourself further.

Lifting your head, you find him staring up at the ceiling, though his eyes turn to you when you raise a hand to his cheek, forcing him to look at you.

“I really don’t want you to,” you tell him, earning you a small smile.

“I don’t think it works like that,” Bucky says, shifting again so that he can face you better.

“It does a little bit… if you think I’m still…” You fetter off, unsure of the word.

“Afraid?” Bucky supplies, and his choice of word confirms your suspicions.

“Buck… if I were even a little bit afraid, you wouldn’t be here right now,” You tell him firmly, needing him to hear you.

“I wouldn’t have let you come back to my home, or invited you inside. Trust me.”

His eyes dart away from yours, and he purses his lips.

“I don’t ever want to hurt you again,” Bucky’s voice is quiet, and you’re glad at least that he was engaging with you.

“I get it,” you tell him.

“But this isn’t going to work if you can’t trust me when I tell you something… and vice versa.”

His eyes snap to yours, and his frown deepens. You see a flash of worry in his eyes.

“If you’re always feeling like you’re walking on glass or that you need to tread carefully, that’s not really respecting my decision to be with you,” you say slowly. Bucky’s frown deepens again, and he swallows, but he nods hesitantly.

“I– I’m not saying that either of us can just forget– but at some point we have to forgive, right?”

Bucky stares at you for a moment, but slowly you see his frown lessen, and he nods again.

“I–” he cuts himself off and clears his throat.

“I never thought about it like that. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head.

“It’s okay. I understand… but Buck, you don’t have to make amends with me anymore,”

Bucky blinks, his face morphing into confusion.

“The past ten years I spent thinking I was gonna die alone, at least now I’ve got a fifty-fifty either way,” you play it off as a joke, and Bucky chortles, but he sobers quickly too, frown reappearing briefly as he cups your cheek.

“That’s a hard thing for me to come to terms with, honey… I don’t know if I’ll ever feel as though I can make up for everything. Not in a way that feels like it’s enough.” His thumb swipes gently back and forth over your cheek, and truly, you haven’t felt so safe or cherished in your entire life.

“Just start thinking about it. If it’s something you’ve never considered before, of course it’s hard to come to terms with.”

You lean up and press a soft kiss to his lips, intending to be chaste, but his hand at your cheek holds you there, and even now your heart flutters. He kisses you no more passionately than usual, but there’s a depth to it now that makes it feel brand new. It fetters off sweetly into shorter kisses, until he pecks you once more finally on the lips, before tugging you closer and kissing the top of your head.

“You may also need to come to terms with the fact I burnt dinner…” you scrunch up your nose as you admit the failure sitting on the stove, and Bucky’s whole body shakes as he laughs. He kisses your head again before his arms tighten around you.

“That ones a little bit easier, honey.”

If you like or enjoy, a comment or reblog is always highly appreciated! Thank you for reading!!!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes/you

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wcnderlnds · 3 years

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safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts / bucky barnes x reader.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Description: After Steve went back to the past you’re left with the job of looking after his best friend but it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Word Count: 1358 Warnings: None. i dont think so anyway. A/N: Okaaay here we go!! part one of a Bucky series. So, uhhhh, Tony Stark is alive in this because I refuse to live in a world without him and he’s the reader’s dad for... reasons that’ll come to light later on. i’m going to v loosely follow The Falcon & The Winter Soldier ok thank you pls be kind this is my first time writing Bucky.

It felt like you’d been sat in the boring old waiting room for hours when in reality it had barely been forty-five minutes. At least your wrist was getting exercise with the amount of times you were raising it to check the time on your watch. Only fifteen more minutes to go then you’d be able to leave that dreaded place. Time seemed to drag on, the people around you irritating you more and more. It was getting to the point where you were about to stand up and yell at the woman who was tapping her fingernails against the wooden arm of the chair. Luckily, Bucky came out of his therapy session with a scowl on his face — the usual look he wore after a session. He gestured his head towards the exit to which you quickly followed him out.

“How’d it go?” You asked as the two of you walked back to the apartment you had pretty much been forced to share.

When Steve had told you his plan he knew that someone needed to take care of Bucky when he was gone and he’d bestowed that duty on you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t refuse no matter how much you’d wanted to. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Bucky because you did — you were friends or at least friendly with each other. It was more so the fact that you knew taking up that responsibility would hurt your father who just so happened to be none other than Tony Stark himself. He still held a grudge against Bucky for killing his parents — your grandparents — and you didn’t blame him but you also didn’t share the same feelings as your father. While Bucky had done some terrible things, that hadn’t been him. That had been the Winter Soldier. In your mind, Bucky and the Winter Soldier were two different people. Poor Bucky had been brainwashed into doing all the awful things he’d done and now he was living with all the guilt and memories of things that he’d had no control over. It had taken some talking with your dad but he’d decided that maybe having someone close to Bucky could at least make sure he didn’t slip again. That also meant daily updates to Tony so he could make sure you were safe. So, you and Bucky had a small apartment in New York. It wasn’t ideal but you were making it work as best you could.

“Same as always,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Wants me to talk to more people or something.”

“You know you should. Sam keeps asking me about you since you won’t answer him.”

“Don’t want to talk to him. Don’t want to talk to you most days but I have no choice on that one.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m going to ignore that because I know you don’t mean it and you’re just grumpy. Maybe consider at least texting Sam so I don’t have to be bombarded by him.”

“No,” he simply stated. “I’m taking a walk.”

Before you could protest, he was gone leaving you feeling grumpy now. You knew Bucky wasn’t in the best place right now. He was trying to make amends for all the things the Winter Soldier had done and he was processing the fact that Steve was gone. Not to mention the fact that Sam had given the shield away. That had been the one thing that had sent him into a deep pit of moodiness. At this point you were used to it.

With a sigh, you stepped into your apartment, throwing your jacket on the couch. Bucky was definitely going to give you crap for that later but you didn’t care. Letting out a heavy sigh, you threw yourself down onto the couch. Before you knew it, your eyes were closing and an unexpected nap took over you.

*****

“Seriously, (Y/N)?” Bucky’s voice woke you up. Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes with the palm of your hands to look over at your roommate who had your jacket in his hands. “We have a coat hanger right there.”

With a huff, he placed your jacket on one of the hooks and headed for the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion. Hadn’t he just got back? How long had you been asleep? “Didn’t you just get in?”

“No. I’ve been back three hours. You were just channelling your inner sleeping beauty over there,” his hand was on the door knob. “I’ve got a date so I’ll be back later, I guess.”

“A date?!” You asked sounding far more shocked than you wanted to.

“Don’t even make a comment. I’m leaving.”

And yet again before you could even say anything he was gone. Bucky was going on a date? That was new. Maybe he was taking his therapists advice after all. As happy as you were that he was trying to give himself some semblance of a normal life, it stung a little bit that he seemed to rather spend some time with anyone that wasn’t you. It was probably because of Tony. While Bucky was friendly with you he always seemed to keep his distance. He never really let you in — he never really let anyone in. Most nights you were both either sat in silence watching a movie with the odd comment here and there or in your own rooms. Conversations never went any deeper than small talk. It was something you badly wanted to change. You wanted to be to Bucky what Steve was but you knew nobody would ever fill his shoes. All you could do was try to be there for Bucky despite how he was adamant he didn’t need anyone.

It was with that thought that you stood up from the couch to make your way to your room with your phone in your hand. After sending a quick text to your dad to let him know the latest Bucky update, you changed into your PJs and got into bed.

*****

It was the loud sound of the TV that woke you the next morning. A tired yawn passed your lips as you made your way into the living room. After a stretch, you finally saw the scene in front of you. Bucky was sat on the floor, glaring at the TV with a clenched jaw. It was then that you finally saw what had him so upset. John Walker was Captain America. John Walker was claiming Steve Rogers was a brother to him. The anger bubbled up inside you, too. Without thinking, you made your way towards Bucky and the TV. After placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, you switched the TV off.

“Don’t torture yourself like that, Buck,” you said softly. It broke your heart when you noticed the hint of tears forming in his eyes but you knew he wouldn’t let them fall. It was angry tears — you didn’t blame him one bit.

“Don’t call me Buck. Only Steve can,” he shrugged your hand off his shoulder and got to his feet. “This is all Sam’s fault.”

“No, it’s not! He did what he thought was best.”

“How is giving the shield away what’s best? Steve trusted him with that and this is what he does with it? Give it to them so they could give it to... him? If he was here right now....” Bucky seethed making his way to his room with you following him.

“I don’t think you understand,” you started but was stopped when Bucky spun around to cut you off with a bag in his hand.

“I’m off to find Sam so pack a bag because I’m sure you’re going to have to follow me like the little lost puppy you are so you can send updates to that paranoid dad of yours,” a glare was shot your way before his attention was focused on stuffing clothes into his bag.

“Okay...” you said quietly. His words hurt you but you knew he was angry with Sam and the new Captain America, not you. There was no use in fighting him right now. So without a word, you made your way to your own room and followed suit.

Guess you were off to see Sam.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x stark!reader #bucky barnes imagine #fics.

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justanothersecretfangirl · 3 years

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Can't Outrun the Past (Part 8)

A/N: Okay, I am sorry this has taken so long. My hand and my brain weren't cooperating, and this isn't the most exciting chapter, and it's a bit shorter, but ish is about to hit the fan. Just give it a minute. thanks for reading 🥲

Pairing: ex!Bucky x reader

Warnings: mentions of drug use, alcohol abuse, etc. Sexual assault (if this is something you can't read, skip the italics, please. Take care of you first)

Word Count: 1582

After a near food fight at dinner time (both those super soldiers had it coming), and a night of nightmares, you wake up to the sun glaring in the window and Bruce clicking at his computer near your bed. You stretch, then sit up.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Bruce says.

“You didn’t. The sun did,” you say with a chuckle, gesturing toward the light glaring in.

“I can close the blinds?”

“Nah, I’m awake now.” He nods, then goes back to clacking on his computer. “How’s everything look, doc?”

“Very stable, Y/N. You are incredibly lucky.” He looks at you with seriousness in his eyes. “If we didn’t have Narcan, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation, Y/N. I don’t want to underemphasize how close you were to dying.” You nod, looking down at your hands. “Your meetings with Dr. Raynor will continue to be important as we move forward with your recovery.” You nod again, and Bruce goes back to typing on his keyboard. After a few minutes, he squats down next to your bed. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” you say, though you weren’t entirely convinced. Somewhere, still, in the back of your mind, you knew you’d run as soon as the Vivitrol wore off. But you didn’t say anything. Bruce nods, and starts unhooking the machine, shutting off the heart monitor and removing the pads from your chest.

It only takes a few minutes before you’re completely unhooked, your IV is out and you are sitting on the edge of your bed.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Please let Captain Rogers know that Y/N is ready to leave the med bay.”

“Yes, Dr. Banner.” He walks around the bed and helps you stand up, steadying you as your legs are weak and you almost fall. It feels good to be upright, though. You smile at him as Steve and Bucky walk into the med bay. Their eyes are on you, leaning into Bruce’s arm for support.

“You sure you’re strong enough?” Steve asks as he gets to your side. You just nod.

“Oh, I brought these,” Bucky says, moving to your side. He has a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, different from the last time. He hands them to you with a smile. “I figured you might like to get out of that very attractive gown.” You chuckle and stick your tongue out at him.

You change quickly, all the men turning around to give you privacy, much easier without all the cords and wires. Then, at last, with Bucky on one side and Steve on the other, you walk out of the med bay, hopefully for the last time.

They help you walk toward the elevator, then to the main living quarters. You walk with them to the couch in the living room before sitting down, shaky. Your walk exhausted you and you lean against the back and close your eyes.

“You okay?” Bucky says, squatting down in front of you.

“Yeah. Just a little tired,” you say with a smile, not opening your eyes.

“Okay. You rest. We’ll be here when you wake up.” He stands and leans across you to place a kiss on your forehead. Before he stands back up, he whispers, “I love seeing you in my clothes.” Butterflies flutter in your stomach and you try your best to not respond. He stands up and walks away. You sigh, trying to sink further into the couch.

Sometime later, you’re not sure how long or if you even slept, you wake up to the couch next to you shifting. You open your eyes to see Sam Wilson on the opposite end of the couch.

“Good to see you up and at ‘em,” he says with a smile. You smile back. “I know we haven’t really talked much. I’ve been busy with contracts.”

“I know. It’s fine. I haven’t been much fun anyways.” You try to laugh, but it sounds more forced than you like. Sam doesn’t laugh though. He leans back against the back of the couch.

“I knew Freaky Magoo would be there for you, anyways.” You snort at his comment.

“Freaky Magoo?” you ask, humor lacing into your voice.

“He does have a staring problem. You can’t deny it.”

“You’ve got a point, though.”

“Hey!” You laugh at the deep voice behind you. You shift to peek over the couch to see Bucky leaning against the island in the kitchen. He chuckles, then goes back to filling his water bottle. You glance back over at Sam.

“What are we doing tonight, boys?” You melt into the back of the couch and close your eyes.

“Looks like you’re going to bed, Y/N,” Sam says with a chuckle.

“Nah, I’m a real party animal.” As the words leave your mouth, you wish you could bring them back, but you shake your head. “That wasn’t funny.”

“It was a little funny, in a twisted kind of way,” Sam says, and you chuckle.

“I’m nothing if not a little twisted,” you all but whisper.

“Aren’t we all?” Bucky says, flopping onto the couch between you and Sam, instantly lightening the mood. You would thank him if he didn’t keep talking. “I say we watch a movie. We used to have movie nights all the time.” The boys talked about what movie to watch, and, at some point in the conversation, Steve came in, flopping on the other couch in the main room. You barely noticed him coming in, your eyes still closed.

“Okay,” you say, your eyes still closed. “It’s been a long time since I watched a movie.” As it turns out, it would be even longer, because, as the opening scene was playing on the huge TV, you fell asleep, your head slipping onto Bucky’s shoulder.

“Hey,” you vaguely hear, someone shaking your shoulder slightly. You groan, not wanting to move. “Y/N. Let’s get you in bed.” It’s Bucky, you realize but you push his hands away, making him chuckle. “Come on Sleeping Beauty.” He stands up, and you all but flop onto the couch as he moves. “You leave me no choice,” Bucky says, laughter in his voice. You feel his large hands under your torso and legs, and he lifts you up easily. You wrap your arms around his neck instinctively, and nuzzle into the crook of his shoulder. He hums softly, and his swaying footsteps lull you back to sleep.

Lights. Bright lights blind you. Bodies sway and bump into you and you can’t make yourself care. Sweat drips from your forehead, hair, down your back. You grind up against someone behind you.

“Let’s get out of here, baby,” a deep voice whispers in your ear.

“What do I get out of it?” you yell above the pulsing bass filling the room. A chuckle rumbles through the man’s chest, vibrating against your back still smashed up against his front.

“What about this?” he says, holding a white pill in front of your face. You spin to face him. You vaguely think you should ask what it is, but you don’t care, honestly. You stick your tongue out and the man places the white pill on your tongue. You swallow it easily. He grabs your hand and pulls you along with him, out the door, and onto the back of his motorcycle. You hold onto his torso as he weaves in and out of traffic, toward the skeevy apartment complex you both call home, his 3rd floor apartment only 2 floors below your own. It takes a few minutes, but soon, calm and quiet washes over you. The world around you melts away.

After he pulls up to the apartment complex and parks his bike, you all but fall off the side of it, your already short dress hiking up, and you giggle.

“Come on, baby,” the man says, wrapping his arm around you. “Want to have some fun?” He doesn’t even wait for your answer, all but dragging you up the stairs toward his apartment. By the time you get there, your legs are feeling like jello and you can’t make yourself care about anything.

“Here,” he says, running his finger up your thigh. You bristle at the touch, but he takes that to mean anticipation. You try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. He places a small patch on the inside of your thigh, almost to your panties.

Almost immediately, your eyes roll back in your head and the only way to describe what you feel is euphoria. Everything in the room slips away into blackness and you welcome it.

Some time later, you aren’t even sure how long, you wake up, your dress pushed up and your underwear no where to be found. The man, Marco, your dealer, lays on the ground beside you, his own pants missing. You try to move, but pain shoots through your abdomen, and you realize all at once what happened. You realize you had been raped and you weren’t even conscious enough to remember it.

“Y/N!” Bucky screams, shaking you awake. Your screams still ring through the room though you don’t realize that you are still screaming. Tears fall down your cheeks and every inch of your body is shaking. “Hey, hey, hey,” he says, pulling you into his arms, and you try to push him away, but he doesn’t move. “I got you. You’re safe now.” You scream at him and his grip falters."Let me go, please! Please!" He does as you ask and you all but fall off the bed and run into the bathroom, closing the door behind you."Y/N!" Bucky yells after you, but you press your back against the door and slide down it, sobs wracking through your body. "Y/N, open the door please?" Bucky's voice is sad at first, but he repeats himself over and over, each time sounding more and more frustrated. "Damn it, Y/N. Open the door." He slams his hand on the door, and you scream in response. After a few minutes, you hear him sigh through the door. "Please, Y/N," he all but pleads. You curl into your knees, your back still against the door. You feel the door shift and, for a moment, you think Bucky is coming through anyways. He could, easily, break the door, but it doesn't move again, and you realize he is probably leaning against the other side. You hear sobs through the door, and yours start again.

Taglist: @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @austynparksandpizza @wtfrae @soccer-100000 @studio-apartment @ginger-swag-rapunzel

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky #Bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes fic #bucky fic #Bucky Barnes x reader #bucky x reader #ex!bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky angst

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incorrectmarvelquotesss · 3 years

Text

The Night’s End

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky goes for a walk after a nightmare and stops at a bookshop open at 2 am. ❤️‍🔥📚

Warnings: death, violence, choking, gunshots, blood and bruises, angst, strong language, mentions of physical and mental abuse, PTSD talks, a little fluff

A/N: My first fic! I hope you guys enjoy! I won’t be doing many fics, but for reaching 200 followers I thought why not? This is not edited yet. I’ve got a few requests which I am writing. Once they are done, they’ll be posted. If you want to be tagged in these fics, send an ask. Enjoy!

He watched the body fall to the ground with a soft thud, muffled by the carpet underneath the young man. He stood still even though every part of heart was whispering to him in a loud voice to run to the young man and help him. His brain kept him still, not moving even an inch until the young man took his last breath, draining the life out of him.

He stood still for another second, an instinct that was drilled into him to check if the target was really dead or not. After making sure the young man was dead from the gunshot wound, he walked backwards, slipping the pistol into its holster on his tactical suit. He turned around abruptly, stopping short as he saw a young woman, eyes flickering over the scene. Her eyes darted to him, fearful and shocked.

“Please,” she whispered into the air, voice raspy and shaking. “I won’t tell anyone.”

He cocked his head to the side a little, walking nearer to her. He could smell her strong perfume, scented with citrus fruits of sorts. He walked closer, stopping only a foot away from, watching as a predator would to his prey.

She squirmed and shrank under his gaze, holding onto the doorknob with one hand behind her when it jabbed her back. She clutched her purse in the other hand, knuckles turning white. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of her temple. She wiped it hastily with the back of her hand clutching the purse.

“No,” he answered simply before his metal hand darted out to choke the woman. His hand gripped her throat tightly, arm whirring with mechanical parts. It clicked and buzzed as he pushed her head back to the door. This was all second nature to him.

Killing and murder. He was a monster that no one could tame. He knew that and so did Hydra.

Bucky shot up with a gasp, clutching the blanket on the ground. His heart was pounding in his ears with beads of sweat gliding down his forehead. A thin layer of sweat covered his body, glistening in the dim light of the television still playing. He looked up at it, blue eyes still trying to focus on the light, and noticed the soccer match playing. Although he had no interest in it, he watched each movement of the players carefully. He studied each movement before the whistle was blown and it was halftime.

He blew out a breath, a little happy that he could distract himself for a while from his nightmares. More like memories, said a bitter voice at the back of his head. He cringed and felt the gut wrenching feeling making its way to his heart. It happened every night and each night he would feel guilt seep into his bones for his soulmate. His soulmate could probably feel his panic and guilt at the moment, but he was surprised to feel a bit of curiosity that didn’t belong to him.

He felt a tug on his blanket, also tugging him out of his thoughts, and faced the white feline he had adopted a few weeks back. Alpine. Alpine’s big eyes looked up at him, head-butting his flesh hand close to her. He almost smiled as his hand started to scratch Alpine behind her ear and she purred softly. A few seconds later, she left abruptly and jumped onto the couch to go back to sleep.

Bucky let out a huff of breath which he would count as a laugh. He looked to his side where his phone was—not the flip phone he showed to his therapist. This was a sleek, new model of the latest phone in which he used multiple things in, like Tinder. He was trying to get into dating again, mostly hoping that he could find his soulmate.

He was, the least to say, surprised when he found out that he even had a soulmate in this time. He had thought that Dot, the girl he practically swooned over in the 40s, was his only soulmate. He had been so sure. Their tattoos were stars with a simple dot at the top of one of the points. But when he had been in Hydra’s capture, it had changed. Now it was a heart with a simple swirl in it.

He tapped the screen of his phone twice and squinted his eyes at the sudden brightness. The lock screen was a simple picture of Alpine. Well, she was cuddling with Bucky on the couch, but Bucky had cropped himself out of the picture. He looked at the numbers staring back at him.

1:26.

He blinked once and then shut the phone off. He looked out the window and huffed before getting up, shoving the blanket off of his legs. He grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants off of the couch that he had taken off when he brought his blanket out to the living room, sweating from his last nightmare. Memory. He hopped on one foot as he slipped one leg in and then repeated it for the next leg. He grabbed a burgundy hoodie, pulling it over his head as he turned around and picked up his phone—just in case.

Taking one last look at his apartment, he pulled on some socks and shoes and took the keys from the bowl. He opened the door and slid out, keeping his eyes focused on everything around him. Old habits die hard, he thought as he shoved his keys and phone into his pocket, feeling his wallet as he did so. He must have forgotten to take it out yesterday.

He dashed out of the building, waving a little to the secretary at the front desk as politely as he could. She gave him a flirtatious smile, which he ignored because she was married. He didn’t flirt with married women, even if he didn’t flirt anymore these days.

He stepped out of the building, feeling the cool night breeze flow through his hoodie, glad that he didn’t wear a shirt—the cool air felt great against his hot body. The effects of the nightmare were still there; sweat, eyes flickering around, ears on high alert. The moon was shining brightly in the clear sky with splatters of stars like white paint. The stars seemed to twinkle, shimmering like glitter.

Bucky smiled slightly, remembering when Morgan had covered his arm in glitter. He looked down and started to walk down the sidewalk, thinking of his life in the 40s. He had always loved to stargaze and explore more about space. Back in the 40s, everything was on books, but now Bucky could search up everything he wanted, whenever and wherever.

“Hey, you going somewhere?” He looked up to see a man standing on the curb, leaning against a car, talking to a woman. The woman had tensed up and clutched her purse. Bucky slowed down, trying to catch what was gonna happen.

“Just down the block,” she said, voice shaking a little. The man crossed his arms and gestured to his car with his head.

“I’ll drop you off,” his voice was ruff, but there was a slight gentleness and sadness to it. “It ain’t safe out here for a girl like you. My sister wasn’t safe either.”

The woman’s head whipped around to look at the man. Her eyes were searching for a hint of lie, Bucky thought, watching the scene unfold. “I’m sorry,” she said when she thought that the man was sincere.

“It’s alright,” the man said, pushing himself off the car. “Beat the guy when she told me, but the police here didn’t do anything more than a restraining order. I can walk you if you want, unless you're trained in karate or something.” This emitted a laugh out of the woman.

Bucky was almost beside them, keeping his head low. He moved a bit over so that he would walk behind the woman.

“Find your soulmate yet?” He asked, making the woman touch her wrist.

Bucky knew why he had asked that. A soulmate could feel your feelings and pain—not as bad, like a needle—something that Bucky always hated. He felt the guilt whenever he had gotten hurt over a mission or even when he had nightmares, he always thought about his soulmate. On the other hand, he had felt happiness spread throughout his body from his soulmate. There had been a couple of times where he felt a pang of sadness, but it was usually replaced with calm and quietness.

“No,” she replied with a soft voice.

“Me neither,” the man gave a toothy grin as Bucky passed the two. The woman giggled as the man said, “Mine is a circle with an arrow in it. Yours?”

The woman gasped and, Bucky assumed that she pulled up her sleeve, then heard the man chuckle.

Bucky zoned them out, trying to ignore the pang of pain in his chest. He took out his phone, desperately trying to forget about soulmates. He quickly read through all the updates Sam had sent.

Sarah and the kids are doing great. Hope you are, too. <Sent 2d ago

The kids really want you back and guess what? I found her! She’s perfect. Her name’s Aaliyah and I want you to meet her bro. <Sent 1d ago

Bucky sighed, not finding what he was hoping for. But he sent back a text anyway, feeling like he owed Sam a little ‘I’m fine and alive’ text.

That’s amazing! I’ll see you all next Sunday like we planned. You should bring Aaliyah and introduce us. <Delivered 2m ago

He shut off his phone and looked around. He was near the lane of shops and most of them were closed. There was an all-nighter pub and pharmacy, but one particular shop caught his eye. It was a bookshop he had wanted to visit a few times now, but never got the chance. It was still open by the looks of it and Bucky wasn’t doing anything else.

He started towards it, hoping that the lights on meant it was still open. He did wonder why it was open at this odd time, but as he approached the shop it was more clear why. A woman was walking around the shelves, helping sleepy teenagers and adults stay awake and giving them coffee to fuel them.

Her H/C was flowing freely while her E/C were flickering around the shop. Her hands held a stack of books and a tray of coffee. The books were all different topics and authors, Bucky could tell. Her face was soft as she placed a book on a teenager’s table and smiled slightly. The teenager looked up at her and smiled. She said something to him and then smiled before walking around the shelves again. She looked up as if she felt his eyes on her, but she quickly turned when a man came up behind her.

Bucky felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach. It was a feeling that he couldn’t ignore and it only got stronger as the man placed a hand on her arm, rubbing it up and down. She nodded as the man spoke, a smile creeping up on her face. She threw her back laughing, covering her mouth as she shook her head. She looked at the customers, apologizing sheepishly at her outburst. She put the books and empty tray on the counter and put her hands on the man’s shoulder, talking seriously. He nodded once, jaw clenching. She patted his shoulders, a smile back on her face as the man started for the door.

Bucky realized that he had been staring and started to walk towards the door. The man had gotten there first, flinging the door open just as Bucky reached for it. The man smiled tiredly and turned to the side, allowing Bucky to slip by. He nodded as a silent thanks.

“No problem, bud,” he said, nodding slightly, and stepped out the door.

Bucky looked behind him before taking in the bookshop. The big shelves filled the three walls, including behind the counter the woman stood behind, flipping through a book. There were four seats at the three tables that were set in the middle. There were more shelves vertically placed close to two of the walls.

Bucky started to walk but felt a small burn on his wrist. He felt it itch as if he gotten a terrible rash, but it stopped in a heartbeat. He stopped abruptly, knowing exactly what it meant. He pulled his sleeve up, looking down at his flesh wrist where the once black, now gold, soulmate tattoo.

His soulmate was close by.

He looked up and saw the woman staring back at him with wide eyes.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly. Her eyes were scanning his face for any emotion, but Bucky knew she couldn’t. His mask was up, the guard that he would put up when he didn’t want anyone to know how he was feeling. It worked for Steve, Sam, even Natasha. But the woman only shook her head. “Won’t work. I can feel your emotions.”

He nodded once. “I know.” He was feeling joy, but there was more. More emotions flooding him in waves. Anxiousness. Shocked. Guilt.

“Stop thinking for a second,” she whispered, smiling sweetly at him, “and breathe.” He inhaled deeply and held it in for a few seconds before letting it go. He had unconsciously moved closer to the counter and her.

“I’m Bucky,” he blurted out, putting his hand on the counter. She giggled at his flustered face and if Bucky said that wasn’t the most sweetest thing Bucky ever heard, he’d be lying.

“I’m Y/N,” she replied, holding out a hand for him to shake. He glanced at it before putting his hands in hers. “Just a sec.” She had looked over his shoulder and nodded her head. He glanced over his shoulder to see another teenager looking at Y/N with a small desperation in her eyes. Y/N grabbed a book from behind her and then turned around, holding the book up. The teenager ran over and grabbed the book from her hand, hugging her as well. Y/N giggled again and Bucky felt his heart skip a beat.

“What is this?” He asked once the teenager sat down on her seat again. Y/N bit her lip and leaned over the counter, her elbows holding her up.

“A support group of a sort, I guess,” she answered, shrugging slightly. “School’s not exactly relaxing.”

“And staying up late?”

“They’ve got a long weekend.” She giggled again and Bucky could swear his heart actually stopped beating for a second. Bucky gulped and nodded. His mind flashed images of just before; the man, Y/N, her laughter.

“Who was that?” Bucky blurted out before he could bite his tongue. Y/N straightened up, a teasing smile on her face.

“Are you feeling threatened by a teenager?”

He could hear the light teasing behind her words and felt a fondness towards her. It had been a while since someone had joked around with him. He smiled for the first time in a while and shook his head. “I meant the man that left before I came in.”

“Oh!” She laughed, shaking her head and saying, “No, no,” repeatedly. She stopped laughing, giggles still escaping her mouth. “That’s my cousin. He’s closer than a brother, though, TJ.”

Bucky felt his ears and cheeks heat up, turning red, no doubt, with embarrassment. “Okay.” Bucky felt a prickle of guilt behind all the embarrassment, but it didn’t belong to him.

“I’m not lying,” Y/N said, noticing that Bucky could feel her emotion. “I’m just used to joking around and I don’t really know if you’re okay with it or not. It’s just that you got uncomfortable all of a sudden and I thought that… I’m sorry.” She winced at her ramble, but looked at Bucky with soft eyes when he started to chuckle. She bit her lips, holding back her smile at his laughter. It was a sweet sound and she felt as if she could listen to it for eternity.

“It’s fine,” he sighed, eyes twinkling. “It’s been a while since someone joked around the Winter Soldier.” He cringed as he let it slip, shutting his eyes for a second. He opened them, expecting Y/N to be scared or fear him, but he found none of that. Instead he saw and felt her curiosity spark.

“I’ve heard about that,” she said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “You were captured by Hydra and taken control over, but now they have no control over you.” Y/N had left out several parts of his past, but he had a feeling that she knew everything anyway.

Bucky nodded curtly. “Yeah. That’s one way to put it.” She smiled softly at him, hand reaching out for his left one.

She didn’t care, Bucky thought with a small surprise. He didn’t feel any fear or anxiousness from her. It was all admiration and curiosity and warmth.

The dark night that plagued him had finally ended.

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vidavalor · 3 years

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Bucky’s dual-era dog tags in TFATWS (and when & where he decides to wear them) are giving me some SamBucky-related vibes...

...in addition to the just interesting stuff related to Bucky’s various identity issues. So let’s talk the dog tags.

First things first, these really do not seem like they’re Steve’s dog tags-- they’re Bucky’s own. Why? Look at the promo still below which is the best view I’ve seen of them in TFATWS. Notice that they are not of the same era. One of the dog tags is a WW2-era tag-- the darker, wider one is not only period-accurate for WW2, it’s identical to the ones Bucky was wearing during WW2 in the movie canon already, most visibly in the “let’s hear it for Captain America!” moment. The *other* dog tag Bucky is wearing in TFATWS, though, is of a more modern issue. It is the kind that would be made for soldiers now and over the last couple of decades. So, how does that mean that they’re Bucky’s and not just Steve’s and what does this have to do with Sam?

Dog tags are only meant to be separated off the chain in the case of death, as everyone probably knows. Soldiers wear two tags with the same information on them into battle so that one remains on them if they die and the other can be pulled off the chain as proof of a fallen soldier during battle, with the army then usually passing the single chain to next of kin. If Bucky were wearing a pair of WW2-era dog tags in TFATWS, I’d say it was more possible that he was wearing Steve’s tags because Steve didn’t actually have them on when he went into the ice so, somewhere, Steve’s pair of WW2-era dog tags exist as a set, still on the chain. They probably wound up in the Smithsonian at some point but back to Bucky-- his, based on the canon we know, would have been separated after the freight car.

Bucky was wearing his dog tags when he fell off the train car because he was at war. We know that the Russians found Bucky and then handed him back over to Zola. The Russians, to cover this up, would have taken one of Bucky’s dog tags and given it to the U.S. Army, claiming that they had found them washed up on the shore near where he fell or something. What did the U.S. Army do then? They didn’t know what Zola had done to Bucky beforehand that would enable him to survive the fall so they wouldn’t think to question the Russians on this-- they’d just be like hey, thanks for this and we’ll continue to do the same for you. They would have taken the dog tag and marked Bucky off as dead and then done the next thing, which is to give the dog tag to the soldier’s next of kin.

Bucky died during war time and everyone knew he and Steve had been friends before the war so whatever general got the dog tag probably just gave it to Steve. Steve *could* have given it to Bucky’s sister at some point-- and we know she exists in the MCU because Bucky briefly mentioned her in TFATWS but we don’t know if he’s gone to see her yet-- but we also have no idea what she’s like in the MCU or if Steve might have just decided to keep the dog tag for himself. Given the trauma Steve went through of witnessing Bucky’s death and them not finding Bucky’s body, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that even if Steve was the one who told Rebecca about Bucky’s death and all that, that he kept Bucky’s dog tag. The other one, that was on Bucky at the time when he was given back to Zola, was destroyed by Zola during him being brainwashed into The Winter Soldier.

So, maybe through seeing Rebecca but probably really through Steve, Bucky gets one of his WW2 era dog tags back. Given that he isn’t seen wearing dog tags again until TFATWS, it’s likely that Steve gave it back to Bucky sometime in the Endgame aftermath before Steve went back in time. Let’s unpack how Steve’s heart was in the right place but that was a bit of a loaded gift here...

Free from being brainwashed-- as free as he’s been *since* WW2 anyway-- Bucky is essentially handed by Steve the symbol of what he just can’t be anymore-- that guy that Steve used to know. He’s still somewhat that guy but he’s been through so much that he’s not going to ever go back. Steve is into going back-- back to the same girl, back to the same era, back to a time when things felt less confusing and safer to him, where things will hurt less. Bucky has always been the absolute opposite of this-- while Steve was always desperate to fit the mode of the model man of the WW2 era, Bucky-- a good-looking, able-bodied soldier who can hot-blooded American male with the best of them-- was never a man of his time, always a bit ahead of it. Steve is Captain America-- Bucky is Captain World of Tomorrow. He’s more realistic about what America is because as a guy putting on a show for the world to pass in the society that Steve worships, Bucky has a very different perspective on all of it than Steve did. (See also, obviously, why Bucky and Sam understand one another and are better for one another than either of them with Steve.) Bucky is touched that Steve had this and is trying to do something nice by giving it back to him but it’s the singular dog tag bearing ‘James Buchanan Barnes’ like it’s literally being his own next of kin at this point as Steve’s about to go back into time-- it’s being handed a reminder of the demise of his sense of self and his *literal almost actual death* right when he’s trying to figure out how he’s going to view himself and what he’s going to do in this world now that he’s going to stay in the present.

So, he’s not wearing it. He doesn’t really know what to do with it. He’s with Sam at the time (maybe not *with* Sam but I mean they’re sharing a lot of the same space, either at the Avengers compound or Sam’s apartment, in the whole Endgame aftermath time period but pre-TFATWS) and Sam sees it and Bucky tells him he’s putting it away because he can’t wear it. Steve was trying to do a nice thing but Bucky’s like I can’t wear one of these things, my old WW2 one-- it’d be like I was a walking corpse. Sam agrees. So, from here two things could have happened...

One is that Bucky could have made the decision to just get himself a modern secondary tag but keep in mind that Dr. Raynor actually had to clear Bucky for active duty and that wouldn’t have happened right away. More importantly, some military guys basically never take off their dog tags but we have evidence that Bucky used to actually *not* be like this so much. While he had them on during the war, much has been made (and should be made, for sure) about how Bucky’s wardrobe changes after his first encounter with Zola compared to when he first left for war. The Bucky in uniform on the double date with Steve is spiffy and spotless; the Bucky in the bar with Peggy and the Howlies is barely hanging on. The most major difference is how much he pushes his uniform away from his neck and stops wearing a hat-- some have theorized that Zola was trying an early version of the mind crown on Bucky before Steve found him, prompting Bucky to develop a trauma-induced need to have things away from his neck.

This actually doesn’t change that much after Civil War, when he’s free from his handlers and on the run. By necessity, there’s a baseball cap at times but he wears a lot of henleys and there’s not actually any necklaces or dog tags until TFATWS. So, what changes? The addition of the modern tag and his reclaiming of the idea of being a soldier. So, the two options for how Bucky got the modern dog tag are really either a) he went and had one made for himself or b) Sam gave it to him. Let’s look at why the former would be kind of a healthy choice for Bucky but why it’s probably not likely to be what happened.

One scene that stands out for me is the single scene in TFATWS where it’s really obvious that Bucky is *not* wearing the dog tags. They show up all over the place-- he has them on for basically the entire series. He’s even *sleeping* in them, waking up with them on during a nightmare where they’re prominent in the scene and then also in its contrasting scene, on the couch in Delacroix. So, the one scene we don’t see Bucky wearing them? His first therapy scene with Raynor.

It’s made pretty clear that while Bucky got a thing or two out of his time with Raynor, it’s not really because of Raynor herself, who is basically a terrible trauma therapist. It’s also clear that Bucky doesn’t trust her and for good reason. We see that he really shouldn’t-- she’s forcing him into rules he can’t actually live by instead of helping him find ways through those scenarios when they invitably pop up (“don’t hurt anyone” is a recipe for failure) and she’s treating a man violated in every way under the sun in a way that’s invasive. She’s monitoring his phone. She threatens his compliance by *bringing out a book that she’s writing his secrets in* like... this isn’t the healthiest scenario here. What we also see is that Bucky subtly rebels against her. He somehow got himself cleared for active duty by her so he’s been b.s.ing her. He is later seen with a smart phone he knows how to use at Zemo’s (and had to have something on which he was online dating profile perusing) but Raynor thinks he just owns an old flip phone. So, it’s something really interesting that this is the one scene where we can’t see the chain of his dog tags. Why? Why doesn’t he want Raynor to know about them?

Because he’s hiding what they mean to him. If he wore them in, he’d have to talk to her about them. The dog tags represent his real efforts to reconcile his identity and what he wants that to look like-- he’s vulnerable about them because they represent what little hope he has left. If Bucky had gone out and gotten that modern dog tag for himself and began wearing them, it’d be something healthy to share with Raynor. He’d want to show it off, all eager to show the doc the decision she’d see as healthy and let her analyze it with him. We know that Bucky is struggling to reconcile his identity-- it’s literally his whole story arc in TFATWS-- and yet, he’s wearing dog tags that cut to the chase of it, in a lot of ways. Which is why those dog tags were on in New York all the time except for with Raynor-- why he wore them to bed, even-- and why he leaves them on when he goes to see Sam.

Sam got Bucky that newer tag. Probably when Raynor cleared him as a congratulations thing or maybe just when he saw Bucky left with a friend who went back in time and left him with nothing but a notebook of things to check out and a corpse necklace and felt for him. In essence, Bucky is wearing around another pair of dual identities in TFATWS-- the Bucky who died in WW2 and the Bucky who is still alive again now in the present-- as given back/given to him and represented by the once and future Captain Americas, who also happen to be the guys he’s loved (in different ways) the most in his life. That he’s wearing them is a sign that he wants to be Sgt. Barnes again-- this newer version of himself. It’s progress from the man who shuddered at stuff around his neck and TFATWS shows us that in other scenes as well, in other ways (his hoodie & jacket combo when they go to talk to Zemo; his signature jacket with a higher collar than we’ve seen him in since he left for war.) The wardrobe choices show an evolution-- a willingness to try to a new place of managing what he’s been through.

But wearing those dog tags around Sam in TFATWS? (And wearing them when he and Sam weren’t really communicating ahead of it?) Yeah. The parallel to Bucky showing up in Delacroix with a whole new outfit for Sam’s new identity as Captain America is that it was Sam who gave Bucky the modern half of his dog tags (and the chain, which is lighter silver and from the present era) and that’s why Bucky has been wearing them. Steve gave him a reminder of the guy he used to be, even if that guy was still pretty dead but Sam gave him a duplicate-- one that represented the guy who belongs to more modern times and is alive. One tag is death; two is life.

#sambucky #bucky barnes #sam wilson #steve rogers #tfatws #caatws #the winter soldier #winterfalcon #marvel #mcu

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demonsandmischief · 3 years

Text

Come Home To Me Part 5

Marvel - A Sam Wilson Imagine

Sam Wilson x Female Reader 1.4k Words

Here's Part 4 and my Masterlist for additional parts

-Part 5-

The ending.

----

You liked Washington DC. You liked Sam's house and being able to see the things he enjoyed.

It was also nice that you had the opportunity to be able to walk or ride the subway to wherever you needed. Even though there was a car for you to use, you couldn't drive. Sam had promised to teach you when he got back.

The only downfall was when he had to work. Sometimes he was gone for days. Two weeks had been the latest so far. It did give you a chance to find yourself beyond your sweet soulmate, but you always missed him terribly.

For this mission, it had been five days since you had last seen him.

You took boxing classes once a week to give you something to do. You considered getting a job, but you still were very uncomfortable and wary around other people.

It was also really difficult to sleep without him. The nightmares return full force. You didn't mean to be so attached to Sam, but how could you not, given everything that you went through?

You hum to the music as you eat some cereal for breakfast. Sam's place was full of old records, CDs, speakers. It was comforting to listen to the things he liked.

Sam: Miss you.

You grinned when you read the text. He had managed to call last night, and it had been so good to hear his voice.

You: Miss you more.

You could just push the messages right to his head, but you promised yourself you wouldn't when you learned they gave him serious migraines. Not to mention you had no idea what he was up to and you didn't want to be a distraction.

The TV program you had on in the background cut off to an emergency news broadcast, and even though it was muted, it still caught your attention. You turned up the volume.

It was definitely an adjustment to be without him, but you were learning lots of new things. How to cook and clean, different kinds of movies and TV shows. It was nice to feel like a normal person doing normal things.

Everything had been good recently, but that never lasts long.

"We interupt your scheduled program to inform you of the reports of a plane hijack containing US officials, including the Vice President. The plane has since crashed over Pennsylvania and is believed to be an act of terrorism. Captain America is believed to have been helping get the plane under control, but has not emerged from the crash site. Emergency personnel are on the scene."

You watched with horror as the cellphone video played, capturing your glimmering man falling from the sky before disappearing into the dust and flames.

You turned it off as a quick reaction, your heart pounding viscously in your chest. Your stomach threatened to turn, and your spoon hit the table with a clatter.

Oh god. Please let Sam be okay.

He had just texted you. He had to be okay. You cringed as the video replayed over and over in your head.

He had to be okay because you loved him.

Your phone ringing broke through your sluggish mind and you scrambled to get to it in time. It was an unknown number, but you answered.

"Hello?" you whispered.

"It's Bucky. Sam's been hurt."

A sob left your mouth but you muffled it with a shaking hand, "Is he okay?"

Bucky didn't say anything, only adding to your worry. You didn't even know Bucky was with him, or any of the details

"Bucky?"

"He's going to be fine, Y/N," he gave a tired sigh. "I'll come pick you up and take you to the hospital to see him. Is that okay?"

You nodded, before realizing he couldn't see. "Okay."

----

Sam was pretty banged up when you got there, but he was alive and you had never been so relieved in your life.

You sat impatiently by his bedside. The doctor told you his suit had taken the brunt of the impact, but he still hit his head pretty hard. Some of his ribs were fractured, along with his right wrist. He had been very lucky.

You dried your tears for the billionth time. Where would you be without him? Sam saved your life. He was your soulmate, your home.

You had dozed off in the stiff plastic seat when he woke.

He hissed as he shifted and stretched.

"Sam," you cried, reaching for his hand. "Don't move too much. Let me get the nurse."

"It's okay," he said hoarsely. "I'm fine. It's just a headache."

"You scared me," you whispered, feeling new tears. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Shh," he soothed, running his thumb over your knuckles and closing his eyes again. "I hate to see you cry."

----

The hospital monitored Sam's head injury for about a day before they cleared him to go home.

Bucky had stuck around and he drove you and made sure Sam was settled.

"Thank you for everything," you told him. "Are you sure you don't want something to eat before you go?"

He shook his head, "My girl is waiting for me at home. Let me know if there's anything he needs. You have my number now."

Sam was out cold. He was taking some medicine for the pain, and you felt beside yourself, not knowing what to do or how to help.

You had fallen asleep on the couch when you were startled awake by Sam standing over you.

"Jeez," you gasped, pushing yourself upright. "You scared the hell out of me. Why are you standing over me? Why did you get out of bed?"

Sam chuckled, "I'm sorry. You should have seen your face."

He nudged you over and sat down beside you, pulling the blanket onto his lap.

"Hey," you protested. "I was using that."

"Too bad. You have to scoot closer if you're cold. Why didn't you come to bed?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Sam," you protested. The cool air caused bumps to form on your arms.

"C'mon. You can't hurt me. Get over here before you freeze."

You hesitated. "I'll just get another blanket." You stood up, but he reached for you.

"Please, baby. I just need to hold you. I promise to tell you if you hurt me, okay?" He said it so soft and sweetly that you couldn't do anything but comply. Besides, all you wanted was for him to hold you.

You sat as close as possible without leaning too much on his ribs, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his left arm around you.

He reclined the couch, and you adjusted the blanket so it covered the both of you.

It was pretty quiet, and you could feel yourself starting to go to sleep when he spoke.

"All I could think of was you."

"What's that?" you mumbled.

"When I fell, all I wanted was to come home, to be with you."

You hummed, reaching for his hand. He kissed your head.

"When I accepted Captain America, I accepted my fate. I told myself that I would be okay with dying, but now I have so much to live for."

You smiled, turning slightly to see his shining eyes. He leaned down for a sweet kiss.

"I was terrified when I saw that video, and then Bucky called me. Like I told you before, I don't want to be anywhere you're not."

He sighed, "There's always a risk. It comes with the territory."

"I know," you whispered. "And I know it'll never get easier for me, but we can handle it."

Sam nodded, leaning back and closing his eyes.

"I'm surprised your sister hasn't personally come up here to beat your ass."

He laughed, wincing at the jostle it gave him. "That's only because you were around to tell her what's going on."

You smiled, "That laugh was payback for nearly giving me a heart attack."

Sam peeked down at you with another chuckle "You're a brat, but you're my brat."

You shuffled a bit so the blanket was pulled to your chin, a warm contentment settled over the two of you. He reached over to turn off the lamp.

"I do love you, Sam," you whispered very quietly into the darkness.

He groaned playfully, "You just had to wait until it was dark. How am I supposed to kiss you now?"

You giggled, a light happiness swirling in your stomach.

"I love you, too," he said back. "So much."

Tag List: @superwholockruleztheworld @imiiimargo @hiuahoe @idunnomayn @cable-kenobi @nialeesato @bklynxbaby @wolflover384 @mytbel0st @burnalley @heyarely16 @lilithknight1111 @loveyou5everr @yougottalovefandoms @lets-love-little-me @cxlpxrnia @daddyissuesmademe @queentorresstuff @spookycereal-s

----

Thank you guys for loving this series. I've been in such a mental slump and struggled with this, so I hope it ended okay. I appreciate each and everyone of you.

#sam wilson x you #sam wilson soul mate #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson #bucky barnes #anthony mackie imagine #anthony mackie #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #tfatws imagine #marvel imagine #marvel fanfic #marvel #marvel soulmate #captain america x you #captain america imagine #sebastian stan #san Wilson x reader #sam wilson x female reader

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babygirl-diaz · 3 years

Text

Confined Spaces

(No idea where this came from. The fic has both SamSteve and SamBucky scenes)

***

“I just hate him so much,” Sam grumbled, storming into Steve’s bedroom.

“Hello to you, too, babe,” said Steve, without looking up from the book he was reading.

Sam rolled his eyes and fell back on the couch. “Did you have to make us spar together?”

“Figured that would give you the opportunity to get to know each other. Become a better team.”

“Oh yeah, we are becoming quite the team. Now I only have the urge to kill him twice a day as opposed to three times a day before.” Sam replied sarcastically.

Steve sighed and tossed aside his book before getting up from his bed and making his way over to Sam. He sat down beside Sam and took his hand in his. “Can’t you at least try to get along with him? For me?” He asked, his eyes soft and pleading. “I am not asking you to be friends, but at least try to work together.”

“And why aren’t you asking him this?” Sam asked, narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend.

“What makes you think I haven’t?” Steve leaned in to kiss along Sam’s neck.

“Are you trying to seduce me into getting along with your best friend?” Sam asked. Not that he minded being seduced.

“I am seducing you into having sex with me,” Steve replied and brought Sam’s hand over to his sweatpants-covered crotch. “So hard for you, baby.”

Sam cupped Steve’s face between his hands and brought him closer to kiss him. He deepened their kiss and ravished his boyfriend’s mouth. Steve started to lower him onto the couch, and Sam stopped him by pushing his hard chest.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked breathlessly.

“This couch is too uncomfortable,” Sam replied. “Let’s go to your bed.” He got up and extended his hand for Steve to take it and led him to the bed. They continued to kiss as they took off each other’s clothes. Sam pushed Steve down on the bed and climbed on top of him.

***

The next morning, Sam woke up with his head on top of Steve’s chest and his arm thrown around his waist. He looked up to find Steve staring at him and furrowed his eyebrows. “Have you been watching me sleep again?”

“Can’t help it,” said Steve. “You just look so peaceful and beautiful when you’re asleep.”

“Not weird at all,” Sam teased and kissed Steve’s chest.

“So last night was…” Steve trailed off.

“...yeah” Sam agreed

“Round two?” Steve grinned and turned them around so that he was on top of Sam. He leaned down to kiss Sam, and Sam returned the kiss with an equal amount of fervor.

But a knock on the door ruined the moment. “Steve!” Barnes’s voice came from the other side, making Sam groan in frustration.

“Seriously?” He asked.

Steve shrugged and kissed Sam once more before getting up to open the door, much to Sam’s displeasure.

“Morning Buck, what’s up?” Steve asked, opening the door.

“Just came to call you for breakfast.”

Barnes looked past Steve and at Sam, which made Sam frown and pull the sheets even closer to his body. “Mornin’ Wilson,” he greeted, giving Sam a shit-eating grin. “Sounds like you had a great time last night.”

“Bucky--” Steve warned

Barnes put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry. Now come on. Breakfast is getting cold.”

“Guess round 2 will have to wait,” Steve sighed, closing the door after Barnes.

“So he’s a cock block now, too,” Sam grumbled. Just when Sam thinks he can’t hate Barnes anymore, the man proves him wrong.

***

“Shit!” Sam hissed and tried to close the elevator door when he saw Barnes approaching. The doors almost shut, and Sam was about to let out a sigh of relief when a metal hand stopped them from closing.

“Oh hey, Sam. Didn’t see you there,” Barnes lied as he got on and decided to stand right next to Sam despite the spacious elevator.

Sam ignored him and instead busied himself on his phone. There was a message from Steve telling him to ‘Hurry up and come over already’ because he apparently had a surprise for Sam.

Sam smiled to himself and responded with a quick ‘On the elevator. Be there soon.' when the whole elevator shook, the lights flickered, and suddenly it came to a complete stop. “What the hell?” Sam said to himself as he reached out to press the open button, but it didn’t work. The whole elevator had shut down.

“Well, that worked. Thanks, Wilson,” Barnes said sarcastically.

“I don’t see you doing anything!” Sam snapped.

“Are you freaking out?” Barnes asked, amusement in his voice.

“What? Of course, I’m not freaking out!” Sam reached out to press the intercom button, but no one answered. He was getting really warm. “Why is no one answering?” Sam asked as he pressed the intercom button again.

Barnes looked at his watch. “It’s Richie’s lunchtime. He must be out.” Richie was the building security guard. A sweet guy, but he always disappeared at the worst times. Barnes sat down on the ground like this was the most natural thing in the world. Like he got stuck in this elevator all the damn time. Maybe he did. Who knows? “Just relax, man.”

“I AM RELAXED!” Sam yelled. He took off his sweatshirt and tossed it aside.

“Of course you are,” Barnes said sarcastically.

Sam ignored him and reached out to ring the emergency button. “Hello? Anybody there?!” He called out but of course, no one answered.

He kept ringing the emergency button, but still, nothing happened. “Hello?!” He called out desperately.

“It’s not gonna work,” Barnes unhelpfully supplied. “There is no one out there.”

If they survived this, Sam was about to have a very serious talk with Steve about living in a place with this death trap.

“Why is it so hot in here?” Sam pulled at his t-shirt to air himself as he paced the floor of the elevator. He was sweating through the shirt, drenching it.

“What are you talking about?” Barnes asked. “It’s like 50 degrees today.”

Sam turned to look at the other man and saw him just sitting there without a worry in the world and he didn’t look like he was drenching through his shirt like Sam. Sam brought his shirt up to his forehead and wiped it as he continued pacing. He stopped and looked around, and suddenly it felt like the walls were closing in on him.

“Wilson-- Sam, hey!” A hand on Sam’s shoulder startled him and he realized he was breathing harshly.

“You’re freaking out…” Barnes pointed out. “Come on, sit down.”

Sam didn’t fight Barnes as he helped him sit down on the floor.

“Just take deep breaths, okay?” Barnes urged. “In and out.”

Sam followed along with him and breathed in and out, just like he had asked him.

“Good…” Barnes said encouragingly. “Just keep doing that, yeah?”

Sam nodded and followed Barnes’s lead. He felt himself relax a little and threw his head back against the wall of the elevator and closed his eyes.

“You feel any better?” Barnes asked him.

“Yeah, I think I do,” Sam replied.

They sat there in comfortable silence, neither of them saying anything until Sam spoke up. “When I was 9 years old, there was this kid, a year older than me, who used to bully me. One day after school, he locked me in the teacher’s closet. I don’t know how long it was before the janitor found me. It was bad, man. I was freaking out, crying, I’d even pissed myself. That’s why I don’t like confined spaces.” Sam stopped and looked at Barnes. “Don’t know why I’m telling you this. No one outside of my family knows the story.”

“Not even Steve?”

“He knows I don’t like small spaces, but doesn’t know why,” Sam replied.

“I don’t like heights,” Barnes admitted, much to Sam’s surprise. “There’s no traumatic experience associated with it. I just don’t like heights. Never have.”

“And I’d rather be flying high--”

When Barnes smirked, Sam gave him a disapproving look. “Not like that!” Shaking his head, he continued. “Than be grounded and stuck in a confined space.” He picked up his phone to see if there were any bars, but of course, there wasn’t because metal death traps also jam phone signals.

Another comfortable silence fell between them, and this time it was Barnes who broke it. “Why don’t we get along, Sam?”

Taken aback by the question, Sam looked at Barnes and noticed him staring at the door. “Because you tried to kill me?”

“But that’s in the past now…” Barnes pointed out.

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you tried to kill me,” Sam replied. “No idea why you hate me. Is it because of my relationship with Steve?”

“W- what?” Barnes stuttered, and Sam’s eyes widened. So he was right.

“You’re jealous of Steve and I!”

“What?” Barnes scoffed. “Why would I be jealous of you and Steve?” There was something in his voice that gave him away.

“Because you’re in love with Steve…” Sam trailed off

“What?!” Barnes started to laugh. “You-- you think I’m in love with STEVE?” He held onto his stomach as he fell sideways laughing. “This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.”

Sam felt his cheeks heat up, and he pushed him, causing him to completely fall to the floor.

When he got back up, he kept on laughing, but it slowly died down. “Steve is like my younger brother. Me being in love with him would be disturbing.”

“Fine, so if you’re not in love with Steve, then why do you hate me?” Sam asked.

“Because… every time you open your mouth, you annoy me,” Barnes replied.

“Wow… thanks…” Sam rolled his eyes

The elevator shook, causing Sam to scream and grab onto Barnes, hiding his face into Barnes’s shoulder.

The elevator started to move again and Sam looked up from Barnes’s shoulder to find their faces a little too close to each other. “Because if I didn’t hate you then--”

Before Barnes could finish his thought, the elevator dinged and came to a stop. Sam immediately pulled away from him and stood up.

The doors opened to reveal Steve standing there with a worried expression on his face. He pulled Sam into a tight hug when Sam got out of the elevator. “You okay?! I heard the elevator was stuck and your last message said you were on it and I just- I got so worried” He took Sam’s face between his hands and kissed him hard.

“I’m good, babe,” Sam assured him, pulling apart.

“I’m fine too, Steve. Thanks for asking,” Barnes chimed in sarcastically.

“Sorry, Buck,” Steve replied. “Glad to see that you’re good.” He then looked at Sam and asked, “Are you okay? I know you’re not a fan of small spaces.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Barnes was really helpful.”

“Well, I’m just glad he was there,” Steve said and pulled Sam into another hug.

“Me too,” Sam replied and looked over Steve’s shoulder to see Barnes watching them. “Thank you.” Sam mouthed, which caused Barnes to smile before heading inside the apartment.

#Sam Wilson #Bucky Barnes #Steve Rogers #SamBucky #SamSteve #fanfic #fanfiction

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