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#this is a short story and I made it to feel like 'fragments' of thoughts and story

the-white-void · 27 days

Text

"You have heard the Story."

Synopsis: A Play that was acted over and over again has finally reached a stir in script, changing the events that were supposed to happen. Will this Play finally lead to a happy ending? Or lead the play to the same script as before?

Warning: This contains mentions of violence, killings, torture, and repetitive deaths which may be uncomfortable to some readers.

One || two || three || four || five...?

Taglist: @kthehoeforfictionalmen @pix-stuff @kthehoeforfictionalmen @time-shardz @scarletttcroww @mysteriaqueen @atsukawolfcat @junkoslette @mefOrgOr @altheqo @obliviousariies2007 @mmeatt @quacking-simp @amnervous

Dreams are the manifestation of oneself. Made from desire,experience, trauma, and hate. Many things can warp the mind to elude the creature into a dream; one too familiar to let go, or the pain to make them reform. Dreams are a curious thing. It's been a long time since you dreamt. A feeling all too distant since then. 'What did dreams feel like? How do dreams make one feel?" Questions surged through your thoughts while sitting inside a cold and desolate cell.

"Why are these questions coming to me now?" You wondered as you gazed up at the ceiling, eyes wandering at every crack and fragment dangling from the stone before a loud clang echoed cutting your thought.

The sound was made when a guard thrust his sword at the bars. "Quiet fraud!!! This world doesn't need your corrupt thoughts out loud!" The guard sneered as he pulled his blade. back to its sheath.

Brushing off the guard's words, you stepped closer to the bars with a sly grin while leaning closer. "Hey, do you know how dreaming feels? It's been a while since I've had one." Yet the innocent act was returned with a clang banging into the bars.

"I said quiet fraud!!! You better shut your mouth if you know what's good for you." The guard's voice came aloud, echoing through the dungeon halls. Your face remained unchanged and unfazed by his threat, simply smiling, but yet the tone of your grin became unsettling, leaving a cold sweat down the once threatening guard.

"You know... I prefer my questions to have answers." Your tone of voice was sickly sweet, enough to come off as poison. Your eyes drew closer to the guard, your gaze piercing through his haughty façade. "Now tell me. What is it like to dream?". The guard quickly turned his back away to face you, still, he could feel his mind weighing over him as he felt his body slowly fading from his control, with your question burdening his whole being.

"What is it like to dream?"

Luck graced the guarding knight as a small figure appeared to interfere. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" A young and squeaky voice came as the figure came closer revealing itself as the Dendro Archon, along with another person wearing an expansive hat.

"Wait, Buer" the short man with a big hat came off surprised when the Dendro Archon suddenly dashed off to help the guard. Your smile faded as you saw the Archon come closer before returning, but with a different reason for grinning, then releasing the guard from his agony as he fell to his knees before hitting the ground.

While Kusanali focused her attention on the guard as Wanderer had his eyes on you, wary of your intentions as you had the guts to impersonate a being of another plane. "Why are you trying to act like a god? That won't get you anything." He sneered while keeping his distance. A low chuckle escaped your lips as you looked at him. "That's very rich coming from someone who tried to become a god." You teased as you lay your bum on the floor with your legs crossed, giggling at your little joke.

Your short statement made the Wanderer's blood run cold, if he had any. Ever since her erased himself from Irminsul, no one else other than the traveller, Paimon, and Bier could have known, yet, some imposter knew that. "How did you..." The Dendro Archon overhead you and Hat Guy's little exchange and came over with a tinge of fear behind her face brimming with courage. "How did you know all that? Ever since he was removed from Irminsul, no one should have known about that."

Your smile was unchanging as you looked up to her and giggled. "Tehehe... Maybe you could try guessing-" your voice leaving a little teasing tone as your eyes remain on the young Archon.

The Dendro Archon remains unmoving, her eyes still as untainted waters of a clear spring, the clarity deceivingly clear. "Because you've seen it before, again and again, countless times, in every loop you've experienced..." She voiced out with a tinge of pity laced in her stern facade.

Your smile was drowned out by the Lord's words, while also leaving her company confused. Standing up from your laxed form, slightly towering over the young Archon while your eyes were dead set on hers, your teasing aura vanished into a tense and trembling form. "You... remember...?" Your voice quivered as well as your eyes. Your once calm facade crumbled showing the same prey that was hunted countless times.

Walking back into the shadows that filled the cell you were locked in, turning away as thoughts and words escaped your lips in mumbles, mumbles no one else in the dungeon could understand. Facing the wall you clenched your fingers on the surface, grabbing onto what little sanity is left before madness drove your mind. "Lieslieslieslieslieslies... Even... evenifyouremember... You paused your rapid mumbling as you clenched your hands harder on the wall, breaking your nails before your blood oozed out.

Your silence filled the dungeon with a haunting flavour, like the clam before the storm, leaving the Dendro Archon and her companion uneasy. "Kusanali, we should leave this nutjob. We're not gonna get anything from them." Wanderer tries to tell his concerns, but Nahida was laser focused on getting more from you.

The silence was deafening before it was interrupted but the sound of a droplet hitting the floor, then another, and another. Your hands rested on your sides, before turning your head to the two outside your cell.

Your sudden change in form left the two alarmed as Wanderer gets in front to protect the Archon.

You were still as still a statue; in an instant, you leapt onto thern but you were stopped by the bars holding you in. Your eyes showed an insane victim conscience about freedom or a trap. "Remembering that means NOTHING!!! LIARS! You're just here to ask me SHIT aren't ya!!!" Your furious yells echoed through the hollow halls while. While your hands gripped harder on the bars, your blood continued to flow, blood of glimmering gold against the small ember of light flickering from a lamp.

"You're... The Overseer...?"

#astronetwrk #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#genshin impact #sagau idea #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin fic ideas #genshin fanfic #sagau isekai #genshin x reader #genshin nahida #nahida #wanderer #kunikuzushi #gold blood au #gold blood #sagau genshin #sagau angst

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wildflower-otome · 5 months

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[Translation] Shuuen no Virche - Ankou Short Story

Writer: Satomi Nakayama Source: Shuuen no Virche Error Salvation Visual Fan Book

Note: Major spoilers for the ending of Adolphe/Ankou's route below.

Lycoris ~I only think of you~

—The Drifter, the person who I made a soul contract with.

‘—Did you know? Flowers have certain meanings and words that they symbolise.’

He was a knowledgeable man of many talents.

‘For example, red roses signify “love”, and also the words “I love you.”’

‘Is that so? At the very least, when I was in the outside world I never heard of such a thing…..I think.’

‘It’s knowledge one is unable to gain without asking first, so that’s understandable. But once you do know about it, the way you think of what you took to be everyday sights will change. If it has a meaning, I’ll teach you it.’

—Ever since then, because this conversation strangely left an impression on me, each time I came across a different type of flower, I would always ask him what it meant.

‘What about the flowers blooming in the garden at your home?’

‘The ones shaped like star fragments are lilies. They bear the meaning of innocent, pure love. The flowers that look like fairies are called laurel. They are flowers that mean to vow eternity, and the words, “I won’t change until I die.”

‘And these flowers that washed up from the sea?’

‘The ones that seem to have white wings are nodding anemones. They have the somewhat disquieting meaning of love unable to be conveyed, love betrayed. The other ones are elder flowers. They’re extreme flowers, that contain meanings of zeal, joy and pity.

‘Hoh….. There really are so many of them. I wonder for what purpose they exist…..’

‘Hmph. They exist so that flowers will become meaningful for people—most likely. And so that one can pick flowers that have a suitable meaning for the person you are giving them too…..or so it is thought.’

‘?’

As I remained unable to imagine it, the Drifter pointed his index finger at me.

‘Meanings are not necessarily everything but—A person of the opposite sex would likely be much happier receiving red roses, flowers that are suitable for a proper love confession, than ones that mean ‘dishonesty’, don’t you think?’

‘Well…..certainly.’

At this easily understood example, I nodded my head in agreement.

‘But to think there are as many meanings as there are flowers….. Have you memorised all of them?’

‘Haha, surely not. No matter how much I love flowers, even I have my limits. It’s only the ones I’ve read about in books or handle as part of my work that I know about.’

Hearing what he said, a “certain question” came to mind. If he knew the meanings of all flowers within his knowledge, then—

‘Do you know the meaning of lycoris flowers?’

‘Yes, of course. They were flowers that commonly bloomed in my hometown, after all. However—’

‘However?’

‘I don’t know the meaning of “black” lycoris. It would appear that this colour is unique to Arpéchéle.’

‘…..Does the meaning differ depending on the colour?’

‘Yes, that is correct. For example, the roses I told you about before, there is a big difference in meaning depending on if they are red or yellow.’

‘…..Sounds like there’s a lot to it.’

I continued to think it over.

‘Then—outside of the black kind, do lycoris flowers have a particular meaning?’

‘Yes, indeed they do. For example, the representative red variety—have the meaning of “passion.”’

‘Passion…..’

Hearing the word, what came to mind was—. The figure of my dear friend, left behind in the past that had gone by.

‘…..It’s a flower that suits Yves perfectly.’

The Drifter did not fail to hear the words I had quietly murmured.

‘My descendant…..you say. Perhaps you might call me not a doting parent, but a doting ancestor, for saying so, but hearing you say that makes me feel proud.’

However, the Drifter, after picking one of the lycoris that was blooming at his feet, handing it to me as he continued—

‘The one other true form they have—white lycoris, are surely a good fit for you.’

With a smile, he told me that he was sure they suited the face that I couldn’t remember.

‘Me…..?’

‘—White lycoris mean “I only think of you” and “Look forward to the day we meet again”, words of faithfulness. They are fitting for you, who continues to wish for her salvation, and to reunite with her again.’

‘…..…..…..!!’

My eyes widened at hearing what the Drifter had said. To think that flowers with such meanings as these existed this world…..

All the same, despite my astonishment, I shook my head at the Drifter’s words.

‘…..…..…..They are unfitting for someone as powerless as I. These lycoris noirge are more than enough for me.

As if imitating the Drifter, I picked a lycoris. And then—.

‘—The one who suits pure white lycoris, the kind that will bloom after salvation, is not me, but her. …..Someday, I want to see her smiling happily in a flower garden of white lycoris noirge.’

I spoke of my dream of a future in which someday the flower petals blooming before me became pure white—.

* * *

———My wish came true.

‘Adolphe, over here…..!’

‘Calm down, you don’t need to sprint, Ankou’s grave isn’t going to run away.’

My dear princess…..and the ex-novice, had come to visit my grave, which had been placed at the center of a field of white lycoris noirge.

Even though it wasn’t even my death anniversary, whenever something happened, she had made a habit of coming here to talk to me.

About things that had made her happy. Things that had made her sad. Insignificant things.

Because she spoke to me about almost everything, almost as if she were able to see me—

(I really am, so happy)

After running up to my grave, she laid down the white lycoris she had been holding.

‘These are white lycoris that Adolphe and I grew together, with Yves’ advice. Today they bloomed at last, so we came to bring you some, Ankou.’

…..Dear me. Even though so much time had already passed since my death.

‘…..I wanted to grow them together with you as well, Ankou.’

(—My princess, your habit of crying hasn’t changed at all)

I stretched out a finger, to stroke her hair…..or tried to, anyway.

(No, you don’t need my comfort anymore)

After all, she—had become a “normal person”, able to stand on her own two feet.

After forcefully wiping at her eyes, just as I thought she might…..

‘Beautiful, aren’t they…..? Flowers that bloomed in the future of salvation, that you protected for us—!’

She spoke with the brightest of smiles.

…..…..…..…..

(Ah, in the end-)

It hadn’t been a mistake.

(These flowers suit you the most, more than anyone else in this world)

If the lycoris I had watched over had become a guide for you to advance into the future, as they turned from black to white—.

(Nothing else could make me happier. I am the luckiest person in the world.)

Until the end of her life as a “normal person”, I pray that these flowers may continue to proudly bloom—.

#shuuen no virche #ankou #otomate #virche evermore #otome game #translation

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gimmethatagustd · 2 years

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Hello!

I've read a lot of fics in which a member of the bts makes the oc feel good about their body after pregnancy, praises their body and stuff,

I was wondering if you could make a jungkook fic (or any other member if you want) where he's a writer and so can't put in time for excercise, he's lost his abs, his arms and thighs have gotten lose, and he feels like the reader doesn't like him anymore because when they got together back in college, he had all that

He's just worried that he's not pretty anymore, and then the reader makes sure he realizes just how pretty he is in her eyes, that he doesn't need a crazy sculpted body for her to love him, he could have a beer belly for all she cares and she'd still love him just as much

Your fics are AWESOME and I've really wanted to request this one for a while, so I hope you like the idea!

THAT'S MY BABY | JJK

All you want to do is make sure that your boyfriend feels good about himself, no matter how life changes.

» pairing: jungkook x reader

» genre: BTS | 18+ (i guess?? idk i’m bad at judging these things) | established relationship | fluff

» wc/date: 1.4k | August 2022

» warnings: body image insecurities | they shower together, but it’s not sexual

» notes: this request is so cute and unique 🥺 thank you so much for sending this in. i'm sorry it took me a while to get to it, but i hope you enjoy 💖 and thank you to my beta reader @here4btsfics who has a lovely fic about a similiar topic here - pls go and read it, too!

» masterlist | ao3 | send me ur thots 👅

» what was jai listening to? i.f.l.y. - bazzi // nothing feels better - pink sweat$

You were accustomed to waking up to the soft indentation of where your boyfriend’s body had laid in bed beside you. You spread your fingers out, smoothing over the wrinkled sheets and pressing your palm into the remaining warmth from his body. Normally it was the smell of coffee and the click clack of fingertips against a keyboard that coaxed you awake on a sleepy Sunday morning. Jungkook didn’t like waking you up. He tiptoed around the apartment, fuzzy socks sliding along the wooden floors and catching on the occasional rug, thoughts lost in the imaginary worlds he created inside his head.

You were in awe of his mind, never quite privy to everything that went on inside it, though you assumed you wouldn’t fully understand anyway. Creativity was, admittedly, not your strong suit. At least, not in the way it was for Jungkook. His ability to shape fragments of ideas and put them down in beautiful prose was enviable. It came to no one’s surprise that his short story collections were a hit from the very beginning. From anyone else’s eyes, Jungkook was right where he needed to be.

For him, it wasn’t so simple.

With sleep blurring your eyes, you tripped over something on your way to your dresser. Looking down, your toes brushed up against the digital scale you normally kept tucked away in the bathroom. With a frown, you picked it up and headed towards the bathroom.

Seeing Jungkook studying himself in the bathroom mirror wasn’t an unusual sight. He was always evaluating something, be it the way his bangs framed his forehead or how his veins popped when he flexed his biceps. Lately, though, these self-evaluations felt more frequent and harsher than usual.

“Baby, why did you have this out?” You knew the answer already.

Jungkook met your eyes in the mirror and your heart ached at the dark circles beneath his eyes. He shrugged, eyes cast downward. He played with a stray hair tie sitting on the bathroom counter and kept his back towards you.

“I don’t feel good.”

And you knew he didn’t mean that he was sick.

Putting the scale away, you snuck your arms around his waist and hugged his back against your chest. You tried to ignore the way he tensed in your arms or how your initial touch made him flinch.

“I think we should take a hot shower and get some coffee in us. How does that sound?”

Your boyfriend grumbled, but he’d never learned how to say no to you, no matter how shitty he felt. Lucky for him, you only used your power for good.

“Thank you,” you spoke softly as you lifted your t-shirt over your head. It was one of Jungkook’s, far too large for you and worn down to the point you should have probably gotten rid of it by now. But it was one of his old college shirts and the nostalgia made you hold on for a bit longer. Your underwear was next to go, quickly slipped off and following your shirt into the hamper. You felt your stomach flutter when you caught Jungkook watching you undress. Shooting him a small smile, you busied yourself with turning on the shower and getting the temperature the way he liked it.

“Better hurry up or you’ll be stuck with cold water,” you teased as you stepped in. The heat made your skin tingle, raising goosebumps across your arms and the hairs on your skin.

Jungkook followed you soon after, keeping his eyes cast downward as you grabbed his biceps to switch places with him, allowing him the opportunity to stand beneath the water.

You grabbed his shampoo, squirting some into your palm. Jungkook leaned out of the water just enough to open his eyes and cock his eyebrow at you.

“That one’s mine.”

“I know,” you said with a small smile. “Come here.”

Jungkook frowned, but you beckoned him fervently. Once he stood before you, you gestured for him to turn away from you and lean back a bit.

“Why?” he protested and obliged anyway.

Rather than answer his question, you gently dug your fingers into his scalp, manipulating his beautiful hair as you massaged the shampoo into it. Jungkook let out a small gasp and attempted to turn, but you held his head firmly in solace.

“Relax, baby.” You spoke softly. “Let me take care of you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m too tall…” Jungkook mumbled, but you only hushed him.

You dug your nails into his scalp just enough to make his skin tingle, dragging your fingers through his hair. You focused on applying more massaging pressure near his temples and the back of his head. Jungkook carried his stress there, often getting piercing headaches that hung around for days. Once you felt you’d worked shampoo through every strand, you instructed your boyfriend to rinse it out.

He was so beautiful with water slipping down his chest and soft tummy, following wet paths to his hips and tumbling past his thighs. He was a bit paler than usual, but that was expected when he worked tirelessly on a new book, spending little time outside. But your favorite part of him to look at was his face. You loved the little dented scar on his check and the tiny freckles delicately placed around his face. You loved his bambi eyes that now stared at you in confusion, his perfect pink lips parted in an open-mouth pout.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” His cheeks flushed pink and you weren’t sure if it was due to the hot water or embarrassment.

Probably a mix of both.

“You’re beautiful, that’s why,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders and your eyes crinkled in a smile. “Conditioner now.”

Jungkook’s eyes found the floor again, and he reluctantly turned again. “You don’t have to lie.”

You didn’t mean to grip his hair so hard he let out a small whimper, but his comment made your stomach twist. “I’m not lying. Why would I be lying?”

A shrug. A small huff of annoyance.

“I’m different now.”

You tugged on his hair again. Softer this time, but enough to get his attention. “We’re meant to change. That’s what being human is all about. What does staying the same do for us?”

He twisted around to dip his head into the stream of water, hands running through his hair. While he was preoccupied, you reached for your washcloth and bodywash.

“You know I love you always, right? I don’t care what you look like.” You rubbed soap suds across Jungkook’s shoulders. “But I do love the way you look. I love your strong shoulders that hold me up at concerts when I can’t see.” A trail of soap suds weaved along his torso. “I love cuddling up with your chest when we sleep. And I love giving your tummy kisses.” You looped back up to wash his hips and sides. “I love your entire body for keeping you safe, for keeping you healthy. For keeping you alive so I can love you with my whole body and soul.

Jungkook leaned into every one of your touches, his body soft and pliable beneath you. It wasn’t possible for you to tell that he was crying; he managed to keep a straight face and the water washed away his tears. The only indication was the way his shoulder shuddered when he pulled you into a hug. Your bodies pressed flush against each other, your skin slippery from the remaining soap on his skin. You looped your arms around each other’s waists and you let Jungkook smother his face into your neck while he shook in your arms.

“It’s so hard.” His words were muffled against your skin.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I do, baby.” You rubbed circles into his lower back and pressed your fingers to massage his muscles. “You’re incredible. Forget looks for a second, okay? You are so intelligent, and creative, and different in the best way. And you’re kind and thoughtful. The sweetest soul.”

Jungkook’s grip on you tightened and his shaking subsided.

“You bring all that out of me,” he said softly, pulling away to face you eye to eye for the first time that morning.

“So listen to me.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his chest. “Believe me.”

Jungkook nodded with a hint of a smile dancing across his face. It would take time; you both knew that. You both also knew that you had each other, no matter the changes or time passed.

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

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admirableadmiranda · 11 months

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Hello!

I wanted to ask if you know what's canon about Wei Wuxian's parents? I know Cangse Sanren shaving LQR's beard is a thing but I'm not sure about other information I've seen

Like, is it canon that she attend the lectures at the same time young masters did and met JFM and Wei Changze (if he even attended) there? Was JFM really in love with her or is that a rumor Madam Yu believes? Was he trying to court her in his youth? Did wwx's parents elope before or after jfm married? What kind of servant was Wei Changze, something similar to Madam Yu's servants, who have a low status but can fight or did he not fight much at all

I know there's very little information about them and the novel is long but you seem very knowledgeable so I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask if you know the answers to some of these 😅 Of course you don't have to answer all of them, I have no idea if they even can be answered with available information, I hope I'm not being too bothersome!

I joined the fandom this year so I'm still diving deeper into this series (I watched the donghua and read some chapters online) and I love your takes so much! You've opened my eyes on a lot of things and put into words some of my own feelings, big fan!

Hello anon!! I had to take some time to think about it, but I think I have some answers for you.

So what’s specifically canon about Cangse-Sanren and Wei Changze? Well…

We know that she descended from Baoshan-sanren’s mountain as a young woman and met Jiang Fengmian and got along decently well with him, but fell in love with Wei Changze and eloped with him before Jiang Fengmian married Yu Ziyuan or even seemed to be clan leader. We know that she and Wei Changze were nomadic, they traveled around together with a donkey and they later had a baby boy, our dear Wei Wuxian before dying on a nighthunt together near Yiling when Wei Ying was five.

There’s not really a lot that’s known in story, and some of the details repeated are either pretty clearly made up (in the past, no one but Yu Ziyuan, her best friend and her best friend’s son ever make mention of Jiang Fengmian having feelings for Cangse-sanren) but it’s pretty clear from what little we do get is that she was a woman who loved her family, who laughed, who taught her son how to not hold grudges because it would let him fly free, and seemed to be a good, caring person. As for what kind of servant Wei Changze was, there’s just so little about him in the story that we can never be sure. Whatever his role was, he seemed to be able to learn to be a cultivator and became a rogue cultivator with his wife.

As for the parts with her shaving Lan Qiren’s beard, that is pretty much just MXTX talking about things she knew about the characters that had no room in the story. Basically the reason why Lan Qiren holds a grudge is because he, Wei Changze and Jiang Fengmian all went on a nighthunt that went very wrong in part to him being exceptionally rigid, she came in and saved all their lives, then shaved off his beard for putting them in danger. Which is really quite the chain of events there.

They are very interesting for what little we get of them, but there is very little to be gotten. They are fragments of ghosts in Wei Wuxian’s memory, people who he still cares about and misses, but doesn’t remember all that well. Most character details we get are from brief thoughts or Wei Wuxian’s fragmented memories. That being said, they probably were very good parents to him for the short time he had them and the things they were able to impart carried him through both lifetimes.

Thank you for your ask, and your patience! Welcome to MDZS, it’s always fun to have more people here, and I hope you enjoy your time in this fandom. Come stop by again if you ever have more questions or just want to say hi!

#mdzs #wei wuxian #cangse sanren #wei changze #asks #anon #anon asks

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smokersbaby · 4 months

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Heavy heart

This fic is a mix of my personal thoughts and a comforting fic, but don't worry, it doesn't have really specific information about my private life. This kind of thing came out of nowhere, I needed to write and I couldn't bring myself to write something different than this since it's been (and still is) a pretty dark moment in my life. Nothing happened, but something is reemerging. I think most of you can somehow see yourself in this short fic so that's why I made it public and I didn't keep it only for myself.

Character: Smoker Reader: gender neutral, no pronouns used Tw: anxiety, mention of violence but not anything specific, basically a comfort fic and some fluff

It happened again.

The good old trauma was still lingering over your head like a sharp sword ready to stab you once more, remembering the darkest moments of your life even though you thought you had overcome them. But sparkles of memories popped into your mind out of nowhere now and then and, lately, more and more frequently than you liked to admit, trying to ignore them as well as you could.

You were shivering but you didn't feel cold or at least not the physical kind of cold under the cozy blankets you were lying underneath. Fragments of memories about your family were now consistent thoughts in your head, and you could almost see the vivid images in front of you as if you were living them all over again.

Rage. Shouts. Violence. You buried your head in the pillow to cover your ears, but you couldn't mute the screaming inside your head. Insomnia was a frequent guest, an unpleasant visitor on your nights.

You felt a slight movement on the other side of the bed, Smoker's body was nothing but imposing so it was impossible not to feel him moving towards you in the bedsheets. "You're awake" he stated, you could feel his gaze on you even though it was completely dark, his fingers searching for your cheek to caress, as to wipe away your tears even though he couldn't see them with the lights off.

Smoker knew everything about your past. Not because you liked to talk about such topics, but because after seeing you burst into tears every time during normal situations in a couple's life as little arguments or disagreements, he understood something was wrong, as if some kind of demon was hunting you. So it was only normal for him to ask and listen to your past story.

"Can't sleep" you replied, and his strong arms immediately wrapped around your body to keep you in his embrace, the low, rhythmic sound of his heart beating was soothing as he kept your body against his with your head on his chest.

Your oppressing thoughts faded away at the exact moment Smoker hugged you in the bedsheets, as they were replaced with that fuzzy sensation that only he could give you, and your heavy heart suddenly became light as a feather.

Not a word more was spoken that night, his presence was enough to make you forget why you were struggling to fall asleep, his large hands running on your back to comfort you made you feel at home. Not the kind of home where you used to live years ago, but a true one, the kind of home where you didn't need a physical place to feel safe, but only a person: him.

#smoker one piece #one piece smoker #captain smoker #smoker #smoker op #one piece fanfiction #vice admiral smoker #white chase smoker #one piece #comfort

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jastheepic · 8 months

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Not so Sugar Sweet - Toxic Huening Kai version

Warnings: Toxic behavior, One-sided feelings, Slight violence, Threatening, Slight Possessiveness, Kai is very harsh, cursing, humiliation (?) (Someone please help me with the warning for the love of god).

3RD PERSON POV

In the midst of the bustling student crowd, she stood. Her heart felt like a broken record, playing a disharmonic melody that not even the liveliest chatter could drown out.

She moved through the world like a shadow; no spotlight ever found her. She was the whisper amidst the crowd, the subtle brushstrokes on the canvas of life's bustling painting. Invisible—that's who she was.

Unfortunately, invisibility never bothered her like it does now.

Unlike her, Huening Kai was made to shine. He was a radiant beacon, a constellation of brilliance in the midst of ordinary constellations.

It was her fault for getting ahead of herself, forgetting her reality. She had always been the forgotten shadow, a spectral echo in the clamor of attention, slipping through life's pages unnoticed. While he was a luminary, a sunlit melody that demanded the spotlight, a presence so vivid it seemed to paint the air around them.

She was the quiet kid, a nobody who only kept to herself and had a few friends.

So, why would anyone believe her story? How could they possibly fathom that she had poured her heart into a night of passion with him, only to awaken to the cruel truth that it was a one-sided dream? A fantasy that dissipated with the morning sun. How could they believe that she didn't willingly give him a piece of her heart; rather, he had snatched it away just to shatter it into a million pieces?

Ah, yes, that's who Huening Kai was. Behind his pretty face lay a harsh truth. Much like a painted porcelain doll with a hidden crack, a facade of beauty veiling the fractures within.

Huening Kai reveled in the attention, relishing how the morning sunlight embraced him and how everything seemed to shape itself according to his desires.

He stood casually, hands tucked into his pockets, his back nonchalantly resting against the wall. A playful smirk danced on his lips as all the girls surrounded him. His physique and height towered over everyone, and his features were so impeccably chiseled that he looked like he didn't belong in this world. His eyes linger, glancing at the crowd of admirers before meeting hers.

In that singular instant, a realization hits her: she's the only one who can see the darkness in his eyes. The monster hidden behind. She notices the twitch in his jaw; he is not happy with her.

She forgets how to breathe as she trembles in her spot. She feels someone shaking her, taking her out of her trance.

"You alright? You seemed as if you'd seen a ghost," her friend asked with concern, her grip on Y/n's arm tightening.

"Y-Yea, it is nothing. I need to get some air; let's leave, yeah?"

She grabs her friend by the hand, almost sprinting out of the hall until they both reach the school's sports hall.

"Come, let's settle by the poolside to ease your mind," her friend proposes, gently guiding her to a seat at the pool's edge. They dangle their feet in the water, its cool touch offering a soothing embrace.

They lingered in silence, savoring the simple presence of each other. For Y/n, these moments were a necessity—a tranquil interval to untangle her thoughts and mend the fragments of her wounded heart.

Twenty minutes unfold in this manner until her friend opts to shatter the quietude. "How about this," she proposes, "I'll dash over to fetch us a bite to eat while you stay here and chill?" Y/n responds with a nod, a gentle smile curving her lips in agreement.

"So, you're avoiding me now?" The silence is short-lived, abruptly replaced by a solemn voice emerging from behind her. Her heart comes to a halt, her body locking in place as she instantly recognizes that voice.

"K-Kai...." Her voice trembles; her gaze meets his. His expression remains unreadable, a cold stare accompanying his deliberate approach. Though she yearns to distance herself from him, her body remains rooted, as if ensnared by an unseen enchantment. Casting a quick glance behind, she realizes her position at the pool's edge. A desperate attempt to retreat is thwarted as Kai closes in, leaving her cornered and defenseless.

He clutches her arm with a vice-like grip, the force leaving behind a vivid imprint of his fingers. "Are you going to cry? Don't bother." His grip tightens, making her cry out in pain. Tears cascade down her cheeks as she remains unmoving.

"You're the one who wants me, so don't even think that you are ignoring me." His fingers press into her skin with increasing intensity, while his other hand ascends to seize a handful of her hair. "W-Why are you doing this, K-Kai?" Her words find a way through the veil of tears.

He remains silent, watching how pathetically she breaks down in front of him, but he doesn't care. He never did.

"Don't act like a victim. What did I tell you about not telling everyone about what happened between us? I told you to act like you don't know me, but did you think I wouldn't notice you looking at me so fucking longingly?" He lowers his head, resting his forehead on hers, his voice taking on a serious tone. The fear that gripped her was beyond measure—a sensation as if her heart had plummeted to the depths of her stomach.

"I-I didn't tell anyone." Amidst her tearful sobs, she stammers, unable to meet his gaze.

"You're a fucking leech, you know that? Even if you did tell someone, they wouldn't believe you. You should be glad I even looked your way in the first place." His lips draw near to her ear, a smirk tugging at his mouth, his tone playful but laced with threat.

"I am sure you wouldn't like it if everyone knew about our little rendezvous, right? They would just think of you as one of the many whores who are willing to spread their legs for me." He backs away slightly, both of his hands firmly clutching her forearm on either side.

"I hope you know what's good for you." He tenderly sweeps her hair aside from her face, his actions at odds with his words as he turns to leave. She stands, head lowered, tears veiling her face, her hair disheveled, staring expressionlessly at the ground.

He arrived solely to dismantle the defenses she had erected against him. That's just what he did. And it was then and there that she realized that light, too, could have dual faces. It wasn't solely brilliance and beauty; concealed within its radiance lurked a darkness far more menacing than the obscurity it illuminated. Lightning isn't just a dazzling streak across the sky; it's a fierce reminder that beauty can also bring pain. That alone defined Huening Kai perfectly.

On the other hand, she was an idiot. She was the one who mistook a storm for a breeze, believing in a calm that was never his nature. In trying to find gentleness, she unwittingly embraced chaos.

Ah, yes, that was the true difference between them. He was the radiant sun, and she, the delicate shadow. His destiny was solitude—a lone brilliance that painted the sky. Yet the shadow found its purpose only when touched by his light, an ethereal dance of existence woven in their contrasts.

It's unfortunate that being lonely fits him, and she was made for begging 'stay'.

"I'll be coming over tonight, so keep your door open."

A/N: If this does well, what would you like to see next? The back story or what happens next?

#toxic!txt #toxic relationship #toxic love #one sided love #one sided feelings #one sided crush #hueningkai #huening kai #huening kai angst #hueningkai angst #txt angst #txt #txt x reader #txt x y/n #tomorrow x together #high school

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laxmiree · 1 year

Text

[CN] MLQC Season 2 Chapter 43 Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️

This post contains a VERY HEAVY SPOILER for the chapter that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

IMPORTANT!!! to fully understand the story, prior knowledge of previous S2 chapters are needed. Before, I made a short summary that i should update explain those chapters. I hope this can help :D

“...Ares?”

“I-it's really Ares!!”

“You see, I found Queen! I know you have the authority in the organization, so please, you must restore my identity…”

“Do I need to repeat myself a second time?”

As the words were spoken, several sharp and thin icicles suddenly appeared and were placed directly against the man's throat.

Previous chapter-> [Here]

[Chapter 41-1 & 41-2 tid-bits]

Xiao Yue leans back in his office chair. The bright white light turns his hidden gloomy expression even more indifferent.

"Overlapping Worlds", "CORE", and "Comet Doomsday"… These words are scribbled on the notebook spread out in front of him.

He writes "didn't happen" next to "The New Year Change Incidents" and puts a question mark beside it.

The fuzzy information that suddenly appears in his mind is fragmented, familiar and unfamiliar, like his own experience but he has no memory of it.

??(Lucien): Mr. Xiao.

An unexpected person knocks on the door, Xiao Yue closes his notebook and raises his head.

Xiao Yue: Professor Lucien, you must have a certain reason for coming today. Is there a new development in the CORE experiment?

Lucien: It takes time to slowly infiltrate a powerful force. Mr. Xiao is too impatient.

Lucien: Focusing too much on one thing and neglecting other critical information isn't worth the trouble.

Xiao Yue squints his eyes and leans back in his chair, silently hiding the scrutiny in his eyes.

Lucien: Does Mr. Xiao notice any changes in himself?

Lucien gently points to his own temple. Seeing Xiao Yue's eyes slightly change, he calmly waits for a reply.

After a short while, Xiao Yue asks Lucien to sit down.

Xiao Yue: I would like to hear more about it.

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The buzzing phone wakes me up with a jolt. I look at the notebook spread out on my desk, my heart still pounding.

The pain from getting hit by a falling billboard feels real, I take a deep breath and realize that my palms are full of cold sweat.

MC: …A dream?

Although the weather outside is perfect, I inexplicably feel a sense of chill.

Every detail of the dream remains vivid in my mind, the smell of the rain and the loud crashing sound seems to linger in my perception.

MC: Precognitive dream...

I suddenly feel a little bit of panic for no apparent reason. Could this be caused by CORE's awakening, or was it something else? Is this precognition giving me a hint of something?

No, maybe I'm just overthinking it and it's just a simple nightmare.

I shake my head, trying to dispel the chaotic thoughts in my head. I grabbed my phone and saw an unread email on the screen.

Lucien: "The good news is that the effective drug for blood disease has passed clinical evaluation and follow-up monitoring. It is estimated that it will be available for sale soon. You can rest assured."

MC: !

His straightforward and simple message disperses all of my earlier worries right away. I immediately cheer up and reply to Lucien.

MC: "Many thanks to Professor Lucien for the great news OvO!"

Lucien: "This great news is the result of your own efforts ^_^"

((the way they reply each other with kaomoji is so cute :’))

I unconsciously curl the corners of my mouth and lean back in my chair. The setting sun cast the office in a warm orange color, and I feel that all the gloom in my heart has been lifted.

With the joy of this good news, I finished my work for the day and stepped out with the last light of day.

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ANYWAY, a lot of things happened after this, but just for background info:

MC's precognitive dream is back.

It turns out that MC and the boys aren't the only ones who remember their past lives in S1.

Leto, in particular, is very interested in this phenomenon, in chapter 41 he meets with MC as the representative of the City Hall. He tells her that he's looking forward to their future cooperation (a very important detail!). He also tells her about his dreams' where he fight MC and lost his life in it. MC brushed it off as nothing, and Leto seems to be not fully convinced but decides to not dwell on it.

Some people are trying to kill/kidnap MC after discovering she is Queen/CORE.

In chapter 43-1 she learned from Shaw that many people have been inquiring about her recently. She proposed to join in his information exchange, Shaw sent her an address. MC left her home after disguising herself, but then she met Lucien on the first floor.

The elevator slowly descends with a mechanical hum, and with a ding, the door slowly opens up.

I press the brim of my hat and move forward, but the person in front of the door doesn't move at all. I suspiciously tried to move around, but a gentle voice rang in my ears.

??(Lucien): I seem to rarely see you in this kind of outfit.

I froze for a moment and look up to see Lucien standing outside the door. He's looking at me with a little hint of curiosity.

MC: You're home early today! Is your work at the research institute over?

Lucien: Not yet. I just forgot to bring some documents, so I came by to pick them up. How about you? Is this-

MC: I...

I hesitated for a moment, and when I was about to explain, Lucien laughed again.

Lucien: Are you going undercover?

I let out a sigh of relief and nodded unconsciously. I suddenly think of something and speak with chagrin.

MC: Looks like there are still many flaws in my disguise. How could you recognize me at a glance!

((because she's the only color in his eyes :”’ how can he not recognize her at a glance-)

Lucien: No, your disguise is very successful. It's just that I'm familiar with every little thing about your demeanor and habits.

As Lucien spoke, his eyes inadvertently shifted to the entrance door.

Lucien: Seems like it's going to rain. Just to be safe, it's better for you to bring an umbrella.

I blink and belatedly glance at my empty hands.

MC: Thanks for the reminder Professor Lucien~ It's perfect. We can go up together.

I said and pressed the floor button, but Lucien just stood outside the elevator without moving.

Lucien: You go up first. I just received news from the research center. I'll call them back.

He waves his hand and moves aside to take out his cell phone. I whispered, "I'll go up first" before pressing the button and letting the elevator doors block my view.

After packing the umbrella, I return to the first floor but don't see Lucien's figure anymore.

He probably went back to the research center…

I reluctantly walk out of the apartment building and stop a car on the side of the road.

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Just like that, he’s gone to the research center while MC continued meeting with Shaw.

When Lucien left the research center, he noticed a black car parked on the side.

When walking out of the research center, Lucien sees a black car parked on the corner.

He calmly opens the car door. A familiar figure sits in the left seat and nods at him.

Leto: Professor Lucien.

Lucien: This is an unexpected meeting place.

Leto: There are a lot of people and eyes watching. Besides, this can save a lot of time.

(Leto: *gets shot by sniper Lucien two times in two separate timelines*, Also Leto: this guy totally can be trusted)

The barrier between the front and back seats was lowered, and the car window showed the flowing street scenery. In silence, Leto opens his mouth.

Leto: I remembered something that was forgotten.

Lucien: So, what do you want to do now?

Leto: ...You really do know about this.

Leto said, withdrawing his gaze from the window.

Leto: I need a group of even more elite people. As for how to pick them, I would like to leave it to Professor Lucien.

Leto: Of course, I will pay you with an equal reward.

The sky is gloomy, and there is a faint smell of the approaching storm in the air. Lucien turns off his phone and speaks indifferently.

Lucien: I’m looking forward to it.

*insert Shaw and MC shenanigans here.*

In the morning, Anna suddenly calls MC, telling her that the TV Station wants to talk to her about a project. It's something that struck MC as odd because usually, the TV Station always produces its own program. Even though there is some external cooperation, it's usually not THIS easy and straightforward. The program is about a social education program, and in addition to funding, the TV Station will support them in terms of venue and so on. This cooperation can be beneficial to her company if it's successful.

In the meeting room, MC meets with Gao Xin, the program director of the TV Station. The theme of the show project is the current phenomenon of "overlapping memories". Because this phenomenon caused minor panics and might cause even worse things, the TV Station wants to work with her to eliminate the negative effects.

MC notices that the project commissioner is The City Hall, which means that Leto may be behind this. But since stopping the phenomenon from causing even more chaos is more urgent right now, and TV stations have more power to influence people, she decided to consider it for now.

[Chapter 43-9]

After the meeting, MC sits back at her desk and opens the submission mailbox containing emails from people affected by this phenomenon.

MC sorts and reads the submitted email individually, realizing the phenomenon's effect is more severe than she imagined. If it doesn't get dealt with in time, the chaos will only snowball, affecting more people. She then clicked the next email from a Loveland University student.

MC: "... I have been doing a theoretical study on the properties of topological semimetallic materials with my roommate."

MC: "But now, because of an unexpected memory, my roommate suddenly said that our research is destined to lag behind others… And there is no way out."

MC: "So, he wants to quit halfway through…."

I blink my eyes and unconsciously fiddle with the mouse.

College students are always a good subject and may be a good entry point.

With that in mind, I sent an email asking if it would be convenient for him to be interviewed. After about ten minutes, there is a new message in the mailbox.

MC: "I'd be happy to do an interview, but my schedule is very full today, and I'm only free around 3:00."

MC: "If you are coming, please find me in room 407 in the Physics Department of Loveland University. Contact information..."

I look at my phone. There are less than two hours before 3:00 p.m., there is still enough time.

After briefly packing the necessary materials for the interview, I message the student about the appointment and go to Loveland university.

Perhaps it's not easy to get a cab because of the rainy weather.

Ten minutes later, after watching another occupied cab whiz by, I take a deep breath and look at my phone.

Less than an hour left before the meeting time. If I take a shortcut, walking to Loveland University is not impossible...

MC: ...?!

A sudden chill comes across the back of my neck. It's as if some kind of grim creature is staring at me.

I step into the alley, quickly turn around and look back.

The rain curtain hides the traffic, the pedestrians come and go in a hurry, and nothing looks different.

MC: ...

I've experienced this feeling many times.

I hesitantly exit the alley when I suddenly hear a hoarse voice.

??: There you are.

MC: ....!

I automatically look for the source of the voice, only to see a slightly hunched man with his hands folded, half leaning on the ramp railing and staring directly at me.

His eyes are black with faint bloodshot in them, his pupils flashing with abnormal excitement.

??: You look the same as the one in memory… So, what I have in my head is not a hallucination?

??: It turns out that my life can be like that… It's so interesting...

There is a mixture of excitement and despair on the man's face as he mutters incoherently, letting the raindrops slide across the throbbing veins of his forehead.

Suddenly, he seems to have figured something out and gives me a creepy smile.

??: Hello, Miss Queen.

My heart nearly stops for a split second. The memories of BS and the long-unheard name swept over me without warning.

I don't answer his words and slowly take a half-step back. I quickly scan the surroundings from the corner of my eyes.

There are not many pedestrians on a rainy day, and the neighborhood is a bit deserted. Just a few steps away, a CCTV mounted on a pole is silently watching us.

Seeing that I didn't respond, the other party straightened up and walked towards me step by step, with fanatical earnestness in his tone.

??: I won't harm you. Just think of it as a favor…

??: You may not remember me, but it's okay. I remember you, I really remember you….

MC: ...Sir, you don't seem to be in good condition. Please calm down.

I gulp and quietly reach into my bag while keeping my distance from him.

Calling for help isn't the best option now because it might anger him. But if I can bring him into the CCTV field of view, I may be able to attract the attention of security personnel.

Even if I get caught, the videos captured by the CCTV will be enough to identify him at first sight…

The moment my fingertips touch the taser and about to pull it out, a voice abruptly comes from the side.

??(Lucien): I think the lady has already said it clear enough.

Holding a gray umbrella in his hand, Lucien cut through the thin rain curtain and unhurriedly walked towards me.

It isn't until he gets closer that his eyes sweep past me and look at the man. The color of his dark eyes is like a deep pool covered with thin ice, revealing a few hints of coldness.

??: ...Ares?

The man freezes for a few seconds and suddenly becomes excited.

??: I-it's really Ares!!

??: You see, I found Queen! I know you have the authority in the organization, so please, you must restore my identity…

Lucien frowns a little as the man becomes more incoherent in his wording.

Lucien: Do I need to repeat myself a second time?

His indifferent words seem to carry a heavy pressure, forcing the other side to stop.

Lucien: I'm not sure why you're so insistent on memory with no basis or corroboration...

Lucien: But there is one thing.

Lucien: I'm afraid you won't have a chance to leave with any decency if you keep dwelling on it.

As the words were spoken, several sharp and thin icicles suddenly appeared and were placed directly against the man's throat.

Our surrounding temperature suddenly dropped. Tiny raindrops turned into cold white ice shards and slowly fell.

The man opens his lips, and his body trembles unconsciously, seemingly thinking about something. His flickering gaze locks with Lucien's momentarily and then falls on me again.

At the same time, my palm is being gently stroked. His gentle touch is in contrast to our surroundings, making my heart skip a beat.

I take a deep breath, put on a similarly vigilant and cold expression, and lift my chin at the distant surveillance.

MC: Just a reminder, your every move has been recorded since a while ago.

MC: You don't think that you really don't have to pay any price for continuing to mess around like this, do you?

In the silence, there is a rustling sound of ice falling on the ground like a silent surge of undercurrent.

After a while, the man drops his head in defeat.

??: I...probably just misremembered...

Even though the man said so, the pace of his departure was languid. I watch tensely as he slowly walks to the alley entrance and then suddenly looks back.

An icicle suddenly burst from the ground near his feet, menacingly obstructing his sight.

Lucien: (coldly) Still want to continue?

The other party turns his head away in shock, and his body disappears completely in the rain.

In an instant, the alley regains its silence, and I finally breathe a sigh of relief. Lucien turns around, takes the umbrella from my hand, and then slightly bends down to me.

His fingers that had just touched my palm slipped to mine and gently clasped my hand.

The reassuring warmth from his fingertips gently softened my knuckles, that was stiff from tension.

Those dark eyes look at me questioningly, with a hint of helplessness.

Lucien: Were you scared?

[Chapter 43-11]

Honestly, I wasn't scared that badly. After all, I'm not the same weak little girl anymore and have experienced even more dangerous situations before.

But Lucien's tender and mellow voice carry a natural comfort that makes me instinctively want to get a little closer to him.

I squeeze his hand, rest my head on his shoulder, and nod vigorously.

MC: Yup, that just scared the hell out of me.

Hearing the exaggeration in my tone, Lucien can't help but laugh.

Lucien: (chuckle) It seems that our smart and brave Miss Nox can be a little delicate every once in a while?

MC: Because you are here, I want to be "delicate". Can't I do this?

(T/N: 娇弱 means soft and delicate, mostly referring to women who provokes pity)

Lucien: Of course you can.

Lucien: But I think you would still do the right thing even if I weren't there, wouldn't you?

MC: Yeah, after all...

I paused, thinking for half a second, and then decided to confess.

MC: In fact, some people have already come to trouble me, so I've done a lot of preparation now.

MC: (smiles) There are taser, a portable safety alarm… If there is an emergency, my mobile phone will make an emergency call to you!

I look up at Lucien and wink at him.

MC: But today it's all thanks to Professor Lucien that I could "defeat the enemy without a fight".

Lucien: Thanks to the Great Producer, we can work together seamlessly.

Lucien slightly shifts the umbrella towards me and sweeps a glance at the neighborhood.

Lucien: Where are you going now? I'll give you a ride.

MC: I'm planning to go to Loveland University…

I stopped talking and raised my head after realizing something.

MC: By the way, how did you appear here? It can't be another coincidence, can it?

Lucien calmly turns his head to look at me. There's a hint of seriousness in his tone.

Lucien: Of course it was "pre-planned".

MC: Eh?

Lucien lets out a long sigh, but his eyes show a little smile.

Lucien: My plan is… I miss you, so I really want to see you.

Lucien: I couldn't get a car because of the rain, so I took a shortcut.

Lucien: But I'm glad I made the decision, because it allowed me to meet you earlier.

He cunningly and frankly said his plan, with a smiling face that made my cheeks blush.

MC: I thought a busy person like Professor Lucien wouldn't have time to think about me…

Lucien: I'll always find time, and now haven't I just managed to spare half a day?

Lucien: But it seems like you have other plans for this afternoon?

I nod somewhat helplessly and tell Lucien about the circumstances that led up to the interview.

MC: My company received a submission about a student who wanted to abandon ongoing academic research because of the overlapping memories.

MC: So I'm going to interview them and find out what's actually going on.

Lucien seems to remember something, nodding thoughtfully

Lucien: Mm, I don't think that's an exaggeration. I did hear other professors talk about a similar turmoil.

MC: Similar?

In other words, there has been more than one of this kind of situation…

I give a soft "ah" and sigh with a bit of a headache.

Lucien: You don't have to sigh. You're going to Loveland University to solve this kind of problem, right?

I nod, and as we walk, I gently poke Lucien's shoulder with my finger.

MC: Don't forget to lend me your "Visiting Professor of Loveland University" status later!

Lucien: Sure, I'd happily "lend" everything I have to you.

Following the address in the email, they entered the Physics department and entered the fourth-floor hallway. They meet the email sender; he's surprised when seeing MC comes with Professor Lucien. Because the hallway isn't a convenient place to talk, he brings MC and Lucien to the balcony.

The sound of the operating instrument disappears, replaced by the sound of rain. I take out my notebook and notice the faint eyebags under the boy's eyes.

MC: Looks like… it's been a rough time?

Student: Yes, it goes without saying that the research is at its critical stage.

The boy said, smiling bitterly and rubbing his eyes.

Student: The situation was better when I worked with my colleague.

MC: Have you worked on this project with him for a long time?

Student: Yes, it's been about a year. Although there are no final results yet, the data is steadily progressing.

Student: That's why I found it hard to accept when he suddenly came to me last week and said he decided to quit.

Lucien: What's the reason?

The boy looks sideways in the direction of the laboratory and speaks after a long time.

Student: He said he saw our research's future in that abrupt memory.

Student: ...After investing a lot of time, we still lag behind others and end up with no results.

His voice is clearly lowered. I paused my writing, and saw the boy purse his dry lips and speak in a low voice.

Student: "Our current efforts are like throwing stones into a dry well and getting no response"… That's what he said.

Student: I wanted to persuade him to give it some more thought… We all are scholars, and giving up research for a memory that came from nowhere is not sensible.

Student: But now he refuses to communicate with me, resulting in…

Lucien: Your research is in danger of being discontinued.

With difficulty, the boy slowly nods, and his complexion becomes gloomy. I stop my writing and let out a light sigh.

I've seen Lucien stay up all night in front of the data countless times and how the light in the research center stays on all year round.

Academic devotion is a path of lonely pursuit. Even though I haven't been deeply involved in the field of research, I know how much work goes into a research project every day and night.

Anyone would feel reluctant to terminate a project that has lasted so long because of such reason…

I felt a little saddened. I was carefully choosing my words when I suddenly heard Lucien speak.

Lucien: Have you ever thought that maybe his choice is not wrong?

MC: ...Lucien?

The boy's eyes widen a little in disbelief. I look up with equal confusion, unable to believe my ears.

As a scientist, he obviously knows better than me what it means to abandon the project...

I unconsciously lift my hand to pull his sleeve. But Lucien still calmly looks at the student without seeming to be moved in the slightest.

Lucien: If you follow scientific research news, you should be aware that there are countless terminated studies every year.

Lucien: Out of hundreds of projects, only a few of them can produce results at the end.

Lucien: Misdirection, theory stagnation… There are many projects that have invested more than yours.

Lucien: What if this study turns out to be as hopeless as he claims?

[Chapter 43-12]

The boy's face shows a little struggle, and a few moments later, he clenches his palm.

Student: ...No, that will not happen.

Student: We did thorough research before starting the project and confirmed the feasibility with our supervisor.

Lucien: ...So what?

Lucien's voice was not high when he asked the question, but there was a compelling coldness.

Lucien: Every researcher goes through this process at the beginning of a project, and you are not an exception.

Lucien: The supervisor's permission only confirms the research value but is not a guarantee of results.

The boy opens his lips and then purses them in silence.

The atmosphere is a little dull for a while. I instinctively want to comfort, but when the words come to my mouth, I fail to say them.

It is easy to say and pretend everything is going well.

But I'm well aware that even though there are some deviations in this world, the direction of most people's lives does not make much difference.

So the experiment may indeed be the same as that memory, and no results can be obtained.

In the suffocating silence, the boy suddenly moves his body.

Student: ...When I chose to study for a Ph.D., my supervisor told me that every effort does not equal a harvest.

Student: Very often, it takes a hundred percent of effort to knock on the door of science theory.

Student: But… Professor Lucien, as long as the possibility still exists, it is worth the effort, isn't it?

The boy's speech speed is getting faster and faster. Lucien is unmoved as he looks at him. His eyes are still indifferent and cold.

Lucien: But you can't force others to hold the same point of view as you.

Student: I know… So, I just want to fight one last time too.

Student: If he insists on not coming back, I won't force it. I will move forward on my own, even if it takes more time.

Tiny raindrops hit the glass, and the sounds of distant instruments seemingly mix with the silence.

The boy faintly clenches his fist, not avoiding Lucien's gaze. I feel a little shaken by the scene in front of me.

I have seen this kind of perseverance more than once.

I have seen a similar light in Lucien's eyes and those of the scientists in the research institute, the laboratory, and the underground mines before the doomsday.

It's the same perseverance of exploring unknown areas with your whole life.

Lucien's expression visibly loosens a little.

Lucien: The struggle you are experiencing now won't be the last.

Lucien: Scientific research is never a straight path that gets smoother and easier. The deeper you dig, the more bottlenecks and confusion you will face.

Lucien: When you feel that you are unable to move forward, I hope you will remember today's words.

Student: Well, that's my commitment to science and myself.

His firm words echoed through the balcony, like a vow cutting through the rain curtain.

I write down the last sentence with a sour heart, and speak to the boy.

MC: Although a bit of work may not equal a bit of harvest, I think every step taken won't be a let down.

MC: Even if it doesn't reach the finish line, the effort will bear fruit elsewhere.

Student: That's what I'm hoping for. If there is a breakthrough, I hope to hear from you again.

MC: Definitely.

MC: Thank you, my interview is over. Professor Lucien and I will convey everything you want to say to him.

As the bell rings, Lucien and I walk down the stairs of the physics department. The students noisily pass by, laughing and smiling.

The outline of the school building is fading away, but the boy's words still remain in my mind. I look at Lucien, who is at the bottom of the steps, and can't resist speaking.

MC: Lucien, why did you just ask him a rhetorical question about his point of view?

Lucien raises his head a little and looks at me. Amidst the crowd of people, his gaze seems extraordinarily calm.

Lucien: Because that's the norm in research.

Lucien: With the exception of a few miraculous discoveries, science has been progressing slowly. Many people have been unable to make a single advance in their lifetimes.

Lucien: Not a few people regret it after spending years of their lives.

Looking at Lucien's quiet profile, I suddenly realize something.

MC: ...Did you test him just now? To see if he is really that persistent?

Lucien doesn't deny it. His gaze passes behind me and looks towards the yard where the bell rings in the distance.

Lucien: In order to be deeply involved in the academic field, persistence after seeing the reality is as important as the love for science itself.

Lucien: Life is vast, and academia is not the only path they can take. For him, this is also an opportunity to choose a way of life.

MC: And have you ever had any regrets?

He doesn't seem to expect my question. Lucien ponders for a moment.

Lucien: When it comes to research, I've never had one.

Lucien: The direction of each research is the result of careful consideration. Even if I were to do it all over again, I would make the same choice.

MC: What about things other than research?

The figure in front of me seems to pause for a moment. Lucien's eyes fall on me as if looking into a distant past.

Lucien: (quietly, with the loneliest tone you've ever heard-) ...I have.

This time, I get taken aback. I blink and curiously ask after him, stopping him in his tracks.

MC: Hmm? What was the situation?

As if being pricked by a dark hidden thorn in his heart, Lucien's eyelashes trembles and he answers in a quiet voice.

Lucien: …When I thought you were gone forever.

I freeze, suddenly remembering the memory of the scattered capsules and his bloodshot eyes.

A small sourness wells up within my heart. I reach out and hug him as if wanting to erase a memory that hurts so much for both of us.

MC: It's all in the past. I'm still alive and standing in front of you now.

Lucien wraps his arms around me, and his chin gently rests on the crook of my neck. His voice is gentle and firm.

Lucien: Um, I can feel it.

Lucien: So it will be the one and only time.

Afterward, Lucien and MC interviewed the student's classmate who decided to quit. When facing the boy's question of whether one should continue when knowing there's no hope, Lucien pointed out that things aren't always predictable. There is some scientific breakthrough caused by accidents.

Lucien invited MC to share her thought. And she frankly expressed her feelings about it.

Lucien: Every exploration is approaching the truth through twists and turns. Seemingly hopeless trial and error often accumulate possibilities for the emergence of "unexpected factors".

Lucien: In this regard, Miss Producer also has her say.

I blinked, and when I met Lucien's quiet gaze, I suddenly understood what he was referring to.

There were countless nights when I thought I might not be able to keep going.

But I still gritted my teeth and struggled towards that tiny hope until the end.

And not only has he accompanied me in every difficult step, but also clearly recorded all the past for me.

MC: ...Um, when difficulties surrounded me, I also hesitated to keep moving forward.

MC: But now, I'm glad I didn't stop there. Otherwise, I would have really given up the last possibility of luck coming to me.

The boy didn't say anything, but the indifference on his face was gradually replaced by contemplation.

I close my notebook and follow Lucien to leave the room at a lighter pace.

The weather has cleared, and the sunlight leaking through the clouds shines on the rain-soaked road.

I'm holding Lucien's arm, walking down the stairs filled with flower petals step by step.

The silhouette of the school building gradually shrinks behind me. I withdraw my gaze and speak thoughtfully.

MC: I feel as if the boy is not as unattached to the abandoned project as he said he is.

Lucien: Mm, he probably needs a few days to clear his mind.

Lucien: But like what you said, everyone has their own choices. We are just slowing down the decision-making process and giving him more time to think about it.

I drop my gaze thoughtfully, and my pace gradually slows down. Lucien also stops walking in response and looks down at me.

Lucien: What's wrong?

MC: I'm thinking of…. I've been wondering if I should make a show on the theme of this returning memory.

MC: The actual situation obviously can't be revealed to the public, but denying means concealing...

I said and looked up at Lucien. As my eyes become a little brighter, my inner thoughts also grow firmer little by little.

MC: But when I heard you ask them just now, I also clearly thought about something.

MC: The right to believe or not is up to the audience. What we have to do is to provide them with the necessary psychological support.

Lucien lets out a low laugh while watching me pull his hand and gently shake it.

Lucien: Turns out there was more than one student in that classroom just now.

MC: It was initially unfamiliar, but I became skillful later on. Anyway, it's not like I've never "freeloaded" on your class before~

Lucien lets out an "oh", and his eyes fall on the corners of my already curved lips.

Lucien: You already "borrowed" my status as a professor for the interview, and yet MC still holds my hand and acts coquettishly. Do you have any other requests?

MC: As expected of Professor Lucien, your intuition is very sharp!

I said as I looked up, then grinning and cheerfully say.

MC: I want to make this program into the stone that breaks the situation.

MC: So, Professor Lucien, can I invite you to be my guest?

[Chapter 43-13]

The light from the shadows of the trees swayed on the person in front of me and settled into his deep eyes.

Lucien: If it's an invitation...

Lucien: Then, before I say yes, I need to know how the show is going to be prepared.

MC: I will always welcome Professor Lucien's field visits- Why don't you come back to the company with me later and watch my work~

Lucien: There's no time like the present.

Lucien arches his eyebrows in a very good mood, holding my hand down the stairs.

Lucien: (chuckle) After all, it's been a long time since I've seen Miss Producer at work.

I took Lucien out of the elevator lightly, and just after walking a few steps, everyone looked in unison.

Several colleagues exchange glances, and Anna is the first to speak with a smile.

Anna: Professor Lucien, you're here. Let me get you a cup of water.

Kiki: Woah! Is Professor Lucien wants to join our program?

MC: Not sure yet... I'll show him around first!

Lucien takes the glass of water, smiles, and nods beside me.

Lucien: Um, I just came to see what you all have prepared. There is absolutely no such reason as wanting to see your boss or anything like that.

Amidst the snickering of my colleagues, I blush and pull Lucien to my desk. I make him sit on my chair by pressing his shoulder.

Facing the gossiping gazes around me, I clear my throat and begin to introduce the progress to Lucien in a serious manner.

Lucien looks through the various materials I handed him, occasionally nodding to affirm my words.

MC: ... This is the information so far. As for the direction of the program, I have two considerations.

MC: The first one is a social education program that follows the tradition of serious science and explains examples of the submissions.

MC: And the other direction is light-hearted and casual, enhancing the watchability of the program through activities.

MC: However, I'm still a bit torn about which one to use.

Lucien: If choosing is difficult, why don't you listen to other people's opinions?

MC: …Other people?

Lucien: Yes. After all, I'm only here to "investigate" the project today.

Lucien: Your colleagues' opinions regarding the program's production should be more informative than mine.

As Lucien said that, he slowly and carefully picked up a glass of water, showing a relaxed look. I can't help but pout.

MC: Hmph, you are really "investigating" seriously.

Lucien: Uh-huh.

(the way he says 'uh-huh' is so cute and irritating at the same time lmaoo)

They discussed it with her other co-worker. Willow suggested a serious science program, while Minor suggested a more entertaining program. MC proposed a debate program between the scholar and the viewer

MC: How about a fun debate style?

MC: In each episode, a scholar is invited to speak on the pro side, and four or five audience members take turns speaking on the contra side.

MC: This way, both sides of the argument can be fully expressed.

Anna: It's a good idea. Since we are inviting scholars, why don't we ask Professor Lucien what he thinks?

MC: Indeed~ when it comes to his field of expertise, Professor Lucien won't be able to resist, right?

Lucien puts down his glass of water and looks at me a little banteringly.

Lucien: Pitting one against many. Doesn't it seem very demanding for the pro side?

MC: That's why the first episode needs a powerful guest~ After all, knowledge is the best weapon.

Lucien: (chuckle) In that case, this powerful guest wants to add to his argument by using other methods.

Lucien smiles and bites the words "powerful guest", but still refuses to take the bait. But I'm not discouraged and continue to ask him questions.

MC: So, let's hear what Professor Lucien is going to say?

Lucien slightly raises the corners of his lips. The shadow of the tree outside the window flickers in his eyes, making it hard to see them clearly.

Lucien: Perhaps we can conduct a social psychology experiment for the first episode.

MC: A social psychology experiment?

Lucien: Mm. The more affected a person's life is, the more convinced they are of the authenticity of the overlapping memories.

Lucien: I think there is no better way to sway their opinion than to create a false memory on the spot.

Anna: However, the risk is very high. If you get caught before the announcement, it will be difficult to turn public opinion, right?

Lucien: Rather, I really hope to see such a person appear.

Lucien: After all, that makes the show so much more interesting, right?

As Lucien spoke, he raised his eyebrows a little and revealed a smile of interest.

I write down a few ideas in my notebook. After thinking for a moment, I nod my head.

MC: Considering the advantages and disadvantages, this is a good plan that can be adopted into the planning proposal.

Willow and Anna are looking at each other, coughing and speaking.

Willow: Boss, since the style and format of the program have taken shape, can we consider collaborating with the TV station…?

MC: Not yet.

As I spoke, I turned my head and solemnly looked at Lucien.

MC: Because the show's esteemed guest has not been decided yet. I can't afford to make this call if he doesn't nod.

Lucien lowers his eyes and puts one hand on his chin.

Lucien: Let me think about it... I really like this topic, and the program's format is also very interesting.

Lucien: However, it seems that the days when the show will be filmed coincide with the completion of my current project.

MC: …And so?

Lucien looks at my expectant eyes and opens his mouth with a smile.

Lucien: So I'll be working intensively these days to complete the work on the research center.

Lucien: Looking forward to working with you. I'm glad to be your first guest.

After finalizing the other details, MC calls the TV Station to express her willingness to cooperate. The other party happily agreed and only proposed that the submission should be submitted to the TV Station for review.

MC gives the coordination work to Kiki while she is interviewing people about the recent phenomenon.

MC: What do you think about the recent "overlapping memory" rumor?

Passerby A: I've never cared about it, but doesn't it sounds like some multi-channel network hype to scam money?

Passerby B: This hysteria has ruined my son... he now stays at home all day in disbelief, and his homework has been neglected for days!

Passerby C: This must be God's instruction! It points the way for our future!

Questioning, admiration, disdain, curiosity. The different attitudes make me feel that this incident's scope seems more significant than I imagined.

As if there's an invisible string that is constantly tightening, and it will break if you don't pay attention.

While MC is sorting through the interview, Kiki suddenly calls her because there's an emergency. And then, MC finds out that the TV Station returned the submissions that have too much contrast between memory and reality.

MC: Thank you for your hard work. But, I would like to clarify why some of the submissions were rejected after being screened by my company?

As if anticipating my arrival, the other party speaks without haste.

Staff: The contrast between their previous and present lives is too apparent.

Staff: Look, the former starlet is now a common seller; the well-known boss is now retired to their family...

Staff: Their attitudes and words carry a strong sense of resentment and discontent.

MC: But the essence of social education programs is to fully reflect the true picture of society.

MC: I disagree that the focus is only on those who have a stable life.

Staff: Miss MC, forgive me for reminding you once again.

Staff: The program's original purpose was to promote social stability to support the city's redevelopment plan.

Staff: As for other things, if it can be achieved along the way then it'd be the icing on the cake. But if it can't be achieved then we can only give up.

I grip the script a bit harder, and the suspicions in my heart gradually become clear.

The TV Station's position is clear enough.

What they want is to put a specific person in the spotlight rather than expose the truth.

With the same approach as the City Hall in the redevelopment plan, they wanted to hear only words of obedience, not voices of other opinions.

Instead of wasting time on unnecessary negotiations, it is better to retreat and try to gain the initiative in other ways.

After thinking about this, I speak in a calm voice.

MC: We respect the station's arrangement. But this is collaborative filming, not an outsourcing project.

MC: My company must also have the opportunity of expression, and can not be pushed around in everything.

Staff: It's only natural that we won't interfere too much with the rest of the show. Please don't worry.

The business-like tone is also a concession. I can't say anything else except respectfully nod my head.

[Chapter 43-15]

So, just as the staff from the TV Station said, the process besides the submission review goes much smoother. MC secretly tells Kiki to 'fix' the wording of the contrasting submission so it won't get rejected. Once the schedule is set, they start to finalize other show details.

A week passed, and soon came the day of the program recording. MC dials Lucien's phone.

MC: I'm really sorry, I may be a few minutes late…

Hearing my anxious tone, Lucien's voice carries a touch of reassurance.

Lucien: Don't rush. Just take your time. I'll be waiting for you in the backstage lounge.

??: Professor Lucien, have some tea!

I froze momentarily as a cheerful and attentive stranger's voice came from the other end of the receiver.

MC: Is there someone meeting you already?

Lucien: Yeah, we had a nice chat, don't worry about it.

MC: Okay then, I'll see you later~

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hung up the phone with a bit of confusion. I hastily stop a taxi and rush to the TV station. When I arrived backstage, I saw Kiki standing outside the lounge, and she immediately approached me.

Kiki: Boss, all the guests have arrived and are chatting with Professor Lucien inside!

MC: Wait, it's the guests who are meeting with Lucien?

Kiki: Yeah, they were having such a good time, we couldn't even get in the conversation!

MC: Haha really, then I'll go and take a look. It would be best if you told people to get ready~

I pretend not to be surprised and laugh. Today's guests have the impression that they don't have a good personality to get along with, and Lucien has always disliked polite social interaction, so how can they…

At the same time, I push open the lounge door, and a polite question comes into my ears.

??: …So, Professor Lucien, what could be the reason for my grandson's sudden change in temper since his parents took him away?

I lighten my steps and see a few guests sitting on the couch, listening intently.

Lucien is wearing a polite smile on his lips, accepting the cup of tea handed to him by the old man. And as if noticing my movement, he looks at me through the crowd.

I wink at Lucien and naturally sit next to him. Lucien casually puts the tea on the table, then turns his head to the old man and explains gently.

Lucien: In developing children, their mirror neurons* are more active than adults. So, they're physiologically more susceptible to the influence of their surrounding environment.

(T/N: Mirror neurons are a type of neuron in the brain that fires both when an individual performs a certain action and when they observe another individual performing the same action. In other words, when you see someone else performing an action, your mirror neurons "mirror" that action in your own brain, as if you were performing it yourself.)

Lucien: If there is a sudden personality change, perhaps it is because there is someone in their new environment who has problems managing emotions. You can pay more attention to it.

Old Man: ... Indeed, his father brings people home twice a day to play mahjong! So that's where the root is!

Old Man: I've already lived two lifetimes combined and yet still don't understand how to raise children...

I pour another cup of tea, hand it to Lucien, and smoothly take over the conversation.

MC: How can you have two lifetimes?

Old Man: Just a few days ago, I got several years' worth of memories in my head!

Old Man: The neighborhood, hospital, and the central plaza where I walk through…. Each and every aspect of the picture is clear!

Lucien picks up the teapot and fills up a cup of tea for the old man.

Lucien: When it comes to the central plaza, I also have some impressions.

Lucien: From that memory, it seems that its clock tower was damaged by accident.

The middle-aged man is rubbing his glass of water, seemingly recalling something.

Man: Why don't I remember much about it…

Like throwing a stone into the lake, the crowd is either murmuring or pondering at the same time, I look at Lucien, and my gaze collides with his.

I understand what he is trying to do, and I pretend to be confused.

MC: If I think about it, I do remember a bit.

MC: The clock tower… It stopped working for several days before someone came to repair it, and there were complaints.

Noticing our conversation, the old man taps his cane and speaks in a definitive manner.

Old Man: Yes, I remember it clearly too!

Man: That being said, it seems to be the case…

My cell phone suddenly vibrates twice and makes an unnoticeable buzzing sound. I sweep a glance, secretly squeeze Lucien's palm, and then smile and get up to open my mouth.

MC: It's almost time to shoot. Please move to the dressing room and get ready for the stage~

MC: If there's anything else to discuss, let's save it for the stage.

The lighting lights up the big space, soft leather sofas are placed opposite to each other, and the right armrests are put next to the standing mic.

Lucien sits alone on the other side of the table and quietly listens, looking a little powerless. And the six guests seated on the opposite side are chatting together, showing relaxed laughter from time to time.

After the person next to them finished speaking, they began to share their "past life memories".

After 20 minutes of talking about his experience of living under a bridge, he put down his mic.

Middle-aged Man: My mouth is dry from talking… Okay, I've finished my speech. Professor Lucien, do you have any rebuttal to this?

Lucien lightly responds his fingertips gently tapping on the table.

Lucien: Interesting perspective indeed. But I wonder if that memory is all true…

Lucien: Because then the society we "experience" should also have the same details.

A girl sitting on the left side of the front seat is impatient and speaks up.

Girl: The mall I used to go to has changed half of its brands!

Lucien: But it is difficult to make reference to experiences that are too personal. Is there any evidence that is more general in nature?

Lucien cleverly pushes the argument back again. After contemplating for a moment, the girl hesitantly opens her mouth.

Girl: In the memory from that time, it seems that there was not so much Evolver as there is now, so should this be considered social evidence?

Lucien: Can you please describe it in detail?

Girl: Everyone lives a normal life, going to and from work every day, and we never heard of Evol or anything...

Lucien: Well, wasn't Evolver's existence hidden from the public eye until a few accidents exposed it?

Lucien said, carefully closing the documents in his hand.

Lucien: Most of the literature written on the theme of "Evol doesn't exist" has gone in that direction.

Lucien: I just looked at the pre-show questionnaire and see that you and everyone else on the other side of the table have seen or read similar works.

Lucien: So how can you be sure that your subconscious is not being influenced by the novels?

Lucien's words promptly cause a small discussion on the spot. The girl grits her teeth, unable to refute for a moment, but the old man beside her speaks with certainty.

Old Man: I can give you another example.

Old Man: In our previous life, the clock tower in the central plaza was shut down for several days because of an accident. Ask anyone else, and they'll remember it.

Old Man: This one should not be related to any novel!

Several other people at the guest table are showing their support, and Lucien even nods affirmatively.

Lucien: Indeed, this example can eliminate the baseline factor of cognitive formation based on past experience.

Lucien: But it also confirms that the anchoring effect* can influence judgment.

(T/N: The anchoring effect is a cognitive bias that causes people to rely too heavily on the first piece of information they receive when making decisions or judgments. This initial information serves as an "anchor" that influences subsequent thoughts and judgments. People tend to adjust their subsequent judgments from the initial anchor rather than starting from scratch, even if the initial information is irrelevant or arbitrary.)

Lucien: When acquiring information, people always use the information they hear first-hand as an anchor point, but rarely confirm its authenticity.

The old man heavily taps his cane and frowns.

Old Man: So many explanations. Are you trying to say that I also remember it wrong?

Old Man: Professor Lucien, don't you also remember this very well?

Lucien: What if I say that actually, it doesn't happen?

Lucien said, glancing at me off-stage. I pick up my walkie-talkie and whisper a few words to the director.

The screen at the back of the studio immediately displays a video.

"Why don't I remember much about it…"; "If I think about it, I do remember a bit."

On the screen, the discussion before and after the recording is replayed in its entirety.

Lucien's sight falls to their puzzled expression, and he lifts up the mic on the table. His deep voice is clearly transmitted to everyone's ears through the loudspeaker.

Lucien: (chuckle) I'm sorry, but what you all just described is a false memory.

Lucien: In fact, the recording had already started in the longue.

[Chapter 43-16]

The recording site suddenly goes into an uproar.

Some people stare blankly at the screen as if they haven't reacted; while others look at Lucien and retort in incredulous whispers.

After a few moments, the guests who finally understood the situation exchange glances in astonishment, then can't help but speak up.

Middle-aged Man: Professor Lucien, what do you mean by that?

Lucien adjusts the mic with his fingertips and calmly leans over.

Lucien: As you can see, the "clock tower failure" is just an event that the Producer and I made up on the spot using psychology.

Lucien: You have demonstrated that under herd mentality*, individuals will give up their own opinions and conform their behavior to others according to the group's influence.

(T/N: Herd mentality is a term used to describe the tendency of people to follow the behaviors, beliefs, and opinions of the group they belong to or the people around them. In other words, it refers to the way individuals are influenced by the actions and decisions of their peers or the majority, rather than making their own independent choices.)

Lucien: In the process of subconsciously transforming the collective memory into a part of their own memory, the present "overlapping memory" is formed.

After looking at each other, the girl in the guest seat slightly raises her voice.

Girl: B-but I have a picture of the clock tower failing in my mind! Because of the accident, the businesses near the clock tower were also closed for several days-

Lucien: -and during that period, many people in the neighborhood complained about the inconvenience of living there, didn't they?

Lucien spoke as if he had predicted the scene in the girl's memory.

The girl hesitantly nods her head. My eyes widen in astonishment behind the camera, and I silently mouth the word "amazing" to Lucien.

A little brilliant smile appears in his eyes. Lucien immediately turns his head and gives a gesture at the distant director. In the next second, the 3D image of the human brain suddenly emerges on the screen.

Everyone's gaze instantly converges on the screen. Lucien naturally moves closer in my direction and explains in a calm voice.

Lucien: Memory is not a single, continuous image but rather a collection or composition of multiple images.

Lucien: When the memory fragments are incomplete, they are automatically completed in the hippocampus according to the recollector's logic and beliefs.

Lucien: In other words, our memory isn't inherently infallible.

As the words were spoken, our distance was reduced to arm's length. Lucien extends his hand to me in the audience.

Lucien: In order to support this view, I have conducted a survey in advance.

Lucien: Can I ask Miss Producer to cooperate with me and distribute it to all the guests?

He said and held out his hand to me, his eyebrows slightly bent. I glance down at the script.

In the original setup, there is no such thing as a guest inviting a producer to the stage.

I let out an inaudible hmph, take his hand, walk up to the stage, handing out the survey files to the guests, and hear Lucien speak.

Lucien: Before this experiment, I also asked several staff members around me if they had seen this image in their memory.

Lucien: However, the results also confirmed that none of them had any impression of it.

Lucien: I think this should be enough to prove that the "clock tower failure doesn't actually happen" is not a one-sided story.

There are other low murmurs from the guests. A young man who looks like a college student takes the information I handed out and scans it, frowning at the refutation.

Student: But memory error is merely an individual phenomenon.

Student: As you mentioned earlier, other staff members are also experiencing new memory images… What is the explanation for this city-wide memory phenomenon?

Lucien gently shakes his head.

Lucien: I can't give a definite conclusion on this.

Lucien: There are various factors that influence memory. Maybe it comes from the comet, and maybe it's the influence of the overlapping city or something else we don't know yet.

Lucien: But from a neuroscience perspective, I can offer a direction to explore… Have you ever heard of the Mandela Effect?

Several guests shake their heads, looking a bit confused. Only the student thinks for a moment and then speaks first.

Student: You mean a collective memory that doesn't match the facts?

Lucien: Correct. It is possible that someone's memory is biased, and the wrong information is passed on by word of mouth.

Lucien: After a period of time, it became widely spread in society and created a large-scale false impression.

Old Man: ...This so-called Mandela effect sounds very mysterious. How can it be so easy to believe what others say?

The middle-aged man beside the old man tugs his sleeve and hurriedly whispers a few words.

The old man then remembers something and coughs embarrassedly.

Lucien meets the old man's gaze and smiles a little.

Lucien: As you have said, ideally, people would make judgments about the information they receive. However, when dealing with people we trust, we often unconsciously let down our defenses.

Lucien: Without the camera recording, perhaps the "clock tower failure" would have become a new Mandela effect.

The studio falls silent for a while, and many people look thoughtful. Lucien withdraws his gaze and turns his head to look at me.

Lucien: This concludes the arguments of the opposing side.

I take the microphone and look over to the other side of the room.

MC: Are there any more "contestants" on the other side who would like to present a rebuttal?

Student: Although I have no more argument backed up, I still feel unconvinced…

MC: That's fine. The contestants on the opposite side can keep their opinions to themselves.

I said, walking to the middle of the studio and speaking without haste.

MC: While this debate will have winners and losers, it does not mean that there is an opinion that is superior or inferior.

MC: The main purpose of this episode is not to draw conclusions about this phenomenon but rather to offer more possible explanations.

MC: Whether you think it's a deviation, an overlap, or even a migration...

MC: In the end, this is just a picture that suddenly appeared in the mind, and how to interpret it is a matter of personal freedom.

Some of the guests are in thought, and others are unconvinced as if they want to argue something.

My gaze falls to my side, and I see Lucien nodding imperceptibly.

The light shines on his face, making me clearly see myself in his deep eyes.

My originally nervous heart instantly calm down a bit. I withdraw my gaze and speak firmly.

MC: While choosing whether to believe in it or not, I hope you won't forget this.

MC: The most important thing is to hold the present life in your hands.

[Chapter 43-17]

A few days pass, and soon it's the day of the show's premiere.

My colleagues and I sit at our workstations and watch the reactions in the comments section with the utmost attention.

-I have reservations. I still can't accept the theory explained by Professor Lucien…

-I've wanted to say for a long time that giving up reality for an inexplicable picture is basically like putting the cart before the horse*, no?

(T/N: 本末倒置, literally means putting the cart before the horse is an idiom that means ignoring the actual important thing and instead focusing on the insignificant thing)

I exhale softly and hand the document back to Willow.

Even though the negative impact has not completely dissipated, there are more different voices than the previous one, which tended to be panic-stricken.

MC: Let's start preparing for the next episode. We can invite experts in physics to explain it from the perspective of another discipline.

MC: With the three days of time as focus, continue tracking the reactions in the comments section, and put together the top ten pages of comments.

MC: After all, the audience's reaction is the best choice to adjust the program's direction.

Willow: No problem, I'll get in touch now.

Willow takes the folder and leaves in a hurry. I get up, loosen up, and turn around a few times before picking up the phone on my desk.

The program is a big success, and it's time to tell Lucien the good news.

My phone suddenly starts ringing. Seeing the name appearing on the screen, I can't resist bending my eyes and happily picking it up.

MC: Good evening, Professor Lucien~

Lucien: Has something pleasant happened to you?

MC: The audience's response to this episode is better than expected~ it's all thanks to Professor Lucien's work!

Lucien: In that case, I'd like to ask the Great Producer for a small reward.

Lucien: If you have time, can you go to a banquet with me tonight?

MC: Then I have to look at my schedule first-

I pretend to do so, but his familiar figure suddenly enters my sight.

Lucien is standing downstairs, his black suit outlines his slender figure, and when he raises his hand, I can see the smooth lines of his shirt.

MC: …You sneak up on me!

Lucien: (chuckle) Can't I sneak up on Miss Producer?

A soft laugh comes from the other end of the phone. I laugh along with him, quickly pick up my bag and run downstairs.

I'm about to pull open the car door when I suddenly realize something.

MC: Wait, if I want to accompany you to the banquet, do I also have to go home and change my clothes…

Lucien: Don't worry. I've got you covered.

Lucien said while turning his head, motioning for me to look at the exquisite gift box in the rear seat.

Lucien: You can change in the car. I'll wait for you outside.

Such thorough preparation is indeed Lucien's style. I get into the back seat and open the gift box.

(T/N: I subtitled this bit bc the sexy voice and bgm is just so!)

*insert sexy shower bgm*

The delicate fabric, the fit, everything is impeccable, but the narrow space makes it impossible to tidy the tiny accessories behind me.

I bite my lips and finally knock on the car window for help.

MC: Lucien, my zipper...

Lucien's figure outside of the car pauses a little, turns around to look at me, and smiles.

Lucien: (chuckle) Let me help you.

The car door opens and closes again, and with a slight rustling sound, the cold touch of metal slowly climbs up my spine.

My heart beats a little faster. I hear Lucien's hoarse voice coming from behind me.

Lucien: (with THAT hoarse voice) Isn't it strange why I suddenly invited you to a banquet?

MC: Yes, a little… but whatever the reason, I'll say yes.

MC: After all, you've helped me a lot with this show.

Lucien: (whisper) Is that all?

A low whisper brushes my ear, like some kind of enticement. I clutch the hem of my dress and softly speak.

MC: And because I trust in you unconditionally.

The light of a passing car flashes through the window, illuminating the silence inside the car for a moment. Lucien's fingertips linger on the back of my neck, stirring up subtle tingles.

He speaks softly.

Lucien: (chuckle) …You look good in this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The car runs across the long road, drives through several streets, and finally stops in front of a mansion.

I take Lucien's hand and get out of the car, walking along with the crowd to the inside.

The interior of the spacious hall is brightly lit, with gentle music flowing. I suddenly think of something and poke Lucien, who stands beside me.

MC: Speaking of which, what's the theme of this banquet? I don't know the identities of the other people yet.

Lucien takes a glass of white wine from the waiter's hand, and his lips curl slightly.

Lucien: (chuckle) There are no influential people here today, just ordinary citizens. As for the theme, can I keep it a secret for now?

I narrow my eyes when I see how frankly he is trying to keep me in suspense, and I cooperate by picking up another glass of wine from the tray.

MC: Of course, it's useless to hide it from me. After all, I can find out within ten minutes.

Lucien raises his eyebrows with interest and takes a shallow sip.

Lucien: Then I'll look forward to how you solve the mystery.

MC: I won't let you down.

I said and gently clinked my glass with him. I straighten my dress and walk naturally toward the crowd, sweeping my eyes covertly over everyone I pass.

An office worker in a suit with dark circles under his eyes; a young girl with bright makeup, taking selfies in the corner…

My gaze slips through the crowd, and I feel even more puzzled.

The people here are of different ages and backgrounds and don't even seem to know each other… For a while, I hardly find any common ground.

Why does the person who holds the banquet gather them together?

I walk while thinking and slowly paying attention to the conversations around me.

Old Man: ...I was telling my neighbor about my past life when I got the invitation, and I didn't know what I was being invited to…

Girl: …Me? I remember I was a starlet. How can I stand at the counter all day long like this…

Middle-aged Woman: …I should put my career first. If I grit my teeth and insist, now I'm sure I'll be a small boss…

The vague exchange of voices comes to my ears, and I can't help but be struck by them.

These experiences… I think I've seen them in the rejected submissions?!

Lucien walks to my side at some point. I come close to him and lower my voice.

MC: The people here should be those who have a great contrast between their previous and current lives.

MC: We've received submissions from some of them before.

I said, make a great show of being in earnest and tugging at the hem of Lucien's coat.

MC: Lucien, is this the secret of this party?

Lucien's gaze indifferently sweeps through the crowd and slowly falls back on me, with a hint of intrigue, gently shaking the glass in his hand.

Lucien: Hmm… only 30% of the guesses were correct.

MC: I can't believe it's only 30...

Before I can finish my sentence, a strange and unfriendly voice suddenly comes from behind me.

Man: ...Oi! Hey! I'm calling you!

I turn around suspiciously and see a strange man in a suit standing behind me without me knowing, his eyes darting back and forth over my body.

I'm a little displeased to be called out so rudely and to be gawked at in a blatant manner.

MC: Sir, I think you are mistaken…

Man: I think I've seen you somewhere before!

He suddenly clapped his hands and loudly interrupted me.

Man: You're the Producer of "Miracle Finder", right?

Man: In that memory, I was interviewed by you and Professor Lucien!

[Chapter 43-19]

My eyes linger on the man for a few seconds, and I speak hesitantly.

MC: ...I'm sorry, we've interviewed a lot of guests, but what do you mean by "that memory"?

Man: Don't play dumb with me. Remember the elevator malfunction? You approached me to talk about it!

MC: Elevator malfunction…

My hand holding the wine glass tightens slightly, searching for information in my head, and finally, a blurred face emerges in the depths of distant memory.

=Flashback Start=

MC: Hello, I'm a reporter for Miracle Finder. Today I'd like to interview you about the elevator malfunction incident.

Elevator operator: Miracle Finder? Are you talking about that silly program where they go lookin' for superpowers?

Elevator operator: What do you guys know! What do you know?!

Elevator operator: I'm not like you two. I've never used this power! I'm just a normal person. This power has no use to me at all!

=Flashback End=

The air seems to freeze for a moment, and my heartbeat suddenly quickens a little bit.

....The elevator malfunctions incident did occur in Loveland city before it got restarted.

At that time, Lucien and I were following this clue and found Dr. Song, which led to the subsequent events related to the BS.

The person in front of me is actually the elevator operator who was interviewed in that incident...?

A little bit of uneasiness suddenly surges in my heart. I subconsciously look at Lucien beside me and meet his gaze.

He doesn't say anything and just quietly looks at me. A delicate light flows at the bottom of his quiet eyes, inexplicably calming me down.

I take a deep breath, turn to the man, and speak.

MC: I'm sorry. I can't remember which episode I worked with you on, but thank you for your cooperation in the past.

MC: We do often invite passersby to share their views on camera.

MC: I just heard you mention "that memory"…

MC: Coincidentally, our recent program is based on the theme of "memory overlap".

Man: I know, the Mandela effect, right?

Man: My wife and kids think it makes sense, but I don't believe it! That memory is definitely real!

MC: Isn't it a bit too arbitrary for you to say that?

MC: Well, if you don't feel convinced by the perspective of neuroscience, you can follow us later on at…

Man: No need to wait until later. I want to discuss it with you now!

MC: …

Seeing that many people nearby already have eyes on us, I have no choice but to give in.

MC: Well, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

The man licks his lower lip and gestures a little excitedly.

Man: Here's the thing, I always thought my Evol was useless. Until I saw in "that memory" that it could be very strong.

Man: I was skeptical at first, but after using it frequently, as I remembered, my Evol has really improved a lot.

Man: If the memory is truly false, why does it work?

His question is not difficult to explain with Lucien's theory. I ponder for a moment, rub the wine glass and open my mouth.

MC: All abilities can be enhanced with regular use, and Evol is no exception.

MC: Now, there are many TV shows and novels with Evol as the theme. Maybe the images that facilitate your power as you say…

MC: Is it actually the unconscious psychological suggestion from these sources?

Facing my question, the man seems to be momentarily taken aback.

Finally, there is some room for maneuvering in the tense atmosphere. I feel slightly relieved and look at Lucien.

He's looking at me with a faint smile but doesn't approach me. He expresses approval, but it's also as if he's observing something.

A few doubts arise in my mind, and I suddenly hear a cold snort from the man. In the next second, the glass in his hand suddenly floats up.

I instinctively take a half step back as I see the man heavily swing his hand. The glass shot down violently, denting the hard marble floor!

MC: ...!

A sudden sharp sound shatters the tranquility of the hall and quickly ignites the hidden fires surrounding it.

Guests: There are other people here. Can you watch out?

Guests: These Evolver are just too arrogant! If it's anything like that memory-

The man turns a deaf ear to the exclamation around him and just provocatively looks at me.

Man: If it is an ordinary enhancement, you can still use your theory to muddle through.

Man: But my Evol is exactly the same as the picture in my head, no matter the scale of control or the effect… What's going on?

As soon as the man's voice falls, the chatter around the room grows even louder. Countless curious or questioning gazes and whispers almost pin me in place.

Man: Say, Producer, how do you explain this?

My heart surges with a little trepidation. I brace myself and open my lips.

MC: I...

??: If Miss MC doesn't know how to answer, why don't you ask your program consultant to help you explain?

A strong voice abruptly comes from the side, and Leto, dressed in a tuxedo, slowly walks towards me.

MC: What are you doing here…

In the blink of an eye, I always feel that something has gone off the rails where I can't see it, and now I can only watch it continue to move forward.

After Leto finished speaking, Lucien stepped forward, standing and blocking a little in front of me.

Lucien: You just said that Miss Producer and I came to interview you together, right?

Man: Yeah, what's the matter?

Lucien: I remember the first thing I said to you was-

Lucien: "You're just gonna walk away from the problem and abandon your family?"

Lucien cautiously examines the man's eyes and suddenly smiles.

Lucien: It seems that this time, you have a much better life than you remember. I guess you don't have to worry about the compensation anymore.

Along with Lucien's words, the man's eyes grow wider, and his lip trembles.

Man: Professor Lucien, are you telling me that…

Lucien: Yes, what I'm trying to say is that the memory that we all have in our minds is indeed real.

[Chapter 43-20]

Guest A: That memory is real?!

Guest B: ...So that means I can turn over a new leaf?

There was a moment of silence, and then a muffled exclamation of surprise erupted. This time, it was even louder than when I saw the man hit the floor with Evol.

MC: Lucien...?

I widen my eyes in disbelief, looking from Lucien's side profile, slowly fall to the ecstatic crowd, and finally stop at Leto's smile.

What's going on?

Why would Leto come here, and why would Lucien suddenly say such things to everyone when the show is trying to turn the tide?

MC: That's not right! I…

The words that are about to come from my mouth are stopped by a hand. Lucien uses the hand hidden behind him to squeeze my wrist with a firm grip.

And the man, after the initial excitement, raises a new question.

Man: Professor Lucien, why did you give another set of explanations in the program?

Lucien: Well, I would like to ask Mr. Leto to answer this question.

Lucirn raises his other hand to make a gesture of invitation, and the hall is surging with applause. Leto doesn't refuse, smiling, and comes to the center of the crowd.

Leto: Because in this society, only a small percentage of people have brains - that is, those of you whom I have invited to this banquet.

Leto: For most people, life just needs to be stable. As for what the truth is, they don't care about it.

Leto: The TV station and her company have partnered on that program to meet this demand and allow them to move on with their lives peacefully.

Leto: In contrast, you have the power to manipulate society because you have superior information and judgment.

Leto: Everything in the future will depend on your wishes.

Leto: As for what you all are going through, I had the general picture before I came here.

Leto: Please rest assured that I will do everything in my power to help you restore your former lives. The future of this city needs your strength to help build it together…

Under the reflection of the crystal lamp, Leto looks calm and powerful, making people subconsciously want to listen to his words.

As I look at the thunderous applause of the ballroom, I can't stop feeling chills around my body as if an invisible shadow is quietly coalescing.

The attention focus of these guests is no longer on me and Lucien as they surround Leto after he finishes his speech-

After all, in their eyes, Leto is the one who can give them a future.

Looking at the ridiculous scene in front of me, I stiffly raise the corners of my mouth and drink the wine in my glass.

Lucien: (whisper) Your glass is empty. Would you like some more?

I deliberately ignore his words, but my gaze is unrelentingly fixed on him, which in turn makes him chuckle lightly.

Lucien: I hope Mr. Leto is the cause of your anger and annoyance, not me.

He said aggrievedly as if he was being wronged and gently squeezed my fingers. I vent on him by pinching the palm of his hand, and I take a step closer to him.

MC: Are you not going to explain anything?

Lucien: I was going to.

Lucien: I was going to say, if I've upset you so much, would you be willing to give me a chance to explain? At least for the sake of working on your show this month?

MC: Okay, so you have to explain it well.

Lucien deepens his smile. He clasps my hand and pulls me to the corner of the hall.

When the hidden curtain slightly covers the two of us, he speaks in a low voice.

Lucien: I'm sorry. What I just purposely said to that person was a way to reduce the trouble.

MC: Reduce what trouble? It's clearly making more and more trouble…

I still can't understand it, and I turn my face away a little angrily.

MC: You clearly know that…

MC: In addition to solving social problems, I actually want to use the influence of the TV station…

MC: To make people who know Queen's identity doubtful about their memory and won't try to find me.

MC: If these remarks from Leto get out, my previous efforts may be in vain, both for me and for the program…

Lucien puts down his wine glass and approaches me, his body enveloping me from behind.

His cold fingertips gently touch my cheek, silently signaling me to turn around as if to guide me to re-examine everything in front of me.

Lucien: He won't pass it on because he doesn't have the ability to do that yet - and your presence here is proof of that.

MC: And what about the others?

Lucien: These people? You should've found something in common with them.

Lucien: There is a huge difference between their past and present lives.

Lucien: And these people are subconsciously unwilling to accept reality. They will firmly believe that what is in memory is the life they should have.

Lucien: This is human nature. A person instinctively prefers to blame other factors for failure rather than acknowledge it.

Lucien: Whether it's other people, timing… or fate.

Lucien's tail note is slightly raised. All kinds of countenances passed in front of his eyes like a grand farce.

Lucien: Therefore, there is no amount of arguing that will sway them from their point of view. From the very beginning, the outcome of your argument with them is already predetermined.

I open my lips. I always feel that I can't be fully convinced.

It is true that these people already have a predetermined stance. And if I insist on refuting, perhaps just like what Lucien said, it won't change anything…

But at least in front of us, there is another choice than to add fuel to the flames...

Thinking of this, I can't help but look up and stare at him with some annoyance.

MC: So, is this the secret of the banquet that you want to show me?

Lucien: No. At least not exactly.

Apart from a faint smile on Lucien's face, there was also a hint of helplessness.

He slightly leans over and raises his hand to bring my hair to the back of my ear.

Lucien: I want you to see that not everyone has the same stance as you.

Lucien: Different stances pursue their own interests, and from these interests, motives are created.

Lucien: For those who desire peace, there will certainly be those who want to create as much danger as possible. After all, it is in the chaos that many possibilities can emerge.

Lucien: Holding the power that everyone secretly covets and fears, you are bound to become a target.

Lucien: Rather than letting you get hurt and suffer afterward, it is better for you to discover these unsheathed blades in advance.

The distance between us is so close that I can almost see my reluctant expression in Lucien's eyes.

MC: It's my inescapable destiny… Is that what you think?

Lucien: A person's talent will arouse the envy of others. It's not your fault, nor is it the power's fault.

Lucien: But as CORE, you have to face the truth.

Lucien's words were as precise and cold as a scalpel, but his warm fingers kept rubbing my fingertips reassuringly over and over again.

MC: I have one last question… How did you get the invitation to the banquet when Leto doesn't invite irrelevant people?

Lucien: You already have a guess, don't you?

MC: You're working with him?

Lucien: No, it's just a mutual borrowing of "power".

Lucien: Just like how I produce a program with the help of your identity. Except that his ambition is going to be even greater.

I stiffen and raise the corners of my mouth.

MC: It seems that stance is not so important as long as it is useful to you.

Lucien's voice sounds soft as if it is trying to bewitch.

Lucien: That's the more common rule in the shadow of the world.

Lucien: Besides themselves, all a person can rely on is their power.

Lucien: Like being CORE. It is more than a target, it can also attract people to follow behind you.

Lucien: If you take one small step forward, all the dangers now and then will no longer be a threat.

Lucien: Because you can achieve far more than that.

The moonlight is gentle. A thin curtain suddenly fluttered between us, separating our eyes from each other.

I can't see Lucien's face clearly, but I can feel that he is staring intently at me as if waiting for an answer.

Will it be a passive struggle? Or should I take the initiative to get into the center of this vortex?

After a few moments of silence, I raise my hand and brush away the curtain. I take half a step forward and approach Lucien, meeting his gaze straight on.

MC: ...Those who will follow me, will that also include you?

Lucien's voice softens a little.

The moonlight on his face transparently outlines a sense of danger, making it impossible for anyone to move their eyes.

Lucien: (softly) I've been following behind you since a long time ago.

[Lux’s Rambling Corner]

Okay, before I start rambling a little, can I point out how his last sentence is directly referencing this part-

Lucien, a character who usually acts as a guide, letting her to take the lead and makes the decision because he trusts her is always :"""".

I’ll only ramble a little bc Lucien already explains his point, and this official summary already explains it well enough ahah- but I think this is a pretty fun and fluffy chapter. There’s one single knife when MC asks him about his regret, but that’s it~

This batch of chapters opens with Lucien talking with Xiao Yue, which can foreshadow future main story updates.

I love how the first part of the chapter already foreshadows his plan, like MC ‘borrowing’ Lucien’s identity/status. And their talk with the physics student. You can force everyone to have the same point of view. In addition to people wanting peace, some simply want chaos and danger. MC’s program won’t 100% work because they’re trying to hide the truth.

Lucien is very aware of the possible dangers, so he approaches Leto. Offering cooperation so he can have some kind of control over the situation rather than let it develop quietly like what happened in S2 ch 13-14 ((honestly,,,, Leto is a bit dumb for not thinking that MC’s program can be used to filter people LOL)).

In this chap, everyone basically used each other (mutual “borrowing” of power). Lucien used MC’s program to filter out those people and hold his end of the bargain; MC used the TV station’s influence to also protect herself in addition to solving the social issues; and Leto used MC’s program to stabilize the situation. Lucien cooperates with both sides, and they all get what they want, but I think it’s obvious whose side he leans on ahah. After all, even though he appears to support Leto in the banquet, his actual intention is to make her prepare for danger in advance (and lol, the ‘elite people’ that Lucien filters are a bit half-assed >_> 9 out 10 of them feel like they’d easily betray someone if they can).

In terms of dealing with the danger surrounding MC, I think he never really changes from season 1. He consistently advocates taking the first initiative to walk into the game. He trusts that she’s powerful enough to fight the danger. Power isn’t a bad thing, but since it attracts danger, it’s better to change from passive to active. And he always asked her choice again and again whether she wanted to face the truth calmly or to be fully protected by him. Since she chooses the former, he’s willing to accompany her choice by following from behind and becoming her ‘strength’.

#THAT CAR SCENE #is dis really main story #not a date????#mlqc lucien #mr. love queen's choice #mlqc spoiler #mlqc cn #mlqc #it's all according to keikaku #-lucien probably

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shady-tavern · 5 months

Note

trick or treat!

__//^\\__

⊂(・ヮ・⊂)

(pls ignore how criminally late this is and instead have a bit of a WIP for a short story that I hopefully shall finish writing this weekend)

*.*.*

For as long as the little girl could remember, it felt like something was missing within her. She could never put a finger on it, but it made her a restless child, picking up and discarding games, struggling with consistently staying interested and some days she just felt very strange.

Like that one stained glass window she had seen when her parents had taken her to a nearby city. All disjointed fragments that still managed to be a picture, but it would never be one entire piece.

The stained glass window at least had been pretty compared to the ugly feeling within her.

"Have you ever felt like something is missing inside you?" she asked her grandma, who came to pick her up many a day while her parents worked.

Things were strange between Gran and her parents, she never talked to them and they never talked to her and she never set foot onto their garden, preferring to wait for the little girl at the gate by the little dirt road.

Gran stilled and when the little girl glanced up at her, her face had gone dark and grim and for the first time in the girl's life, her beloved grandma, a joyful soul who loved her with all her heart, looked just a little bit frightening.

But her hand around the girl's remained gentle and the older woman kept walking at a sedate pace so her short little legs didn't struggle with keeping up. Everyone always said to the girl that she would grow to be bigger and she couldn't wait for that day to arrive. Gran was silent for so long that the girl thought she was never going to answer.

"You best ask your parents about that," Gran said at last, voice quiet and heavy with something unspoken. Strangely, her voice reminded the girl of a draft horse she had seen, who had been forced to pull a too heavy burden, body straining as it slowly and laboriously set one hoof in front of the other.

"Alright," the girl answered and grinned up at her grandmother, hoping to break up the awful mood her innocent little question had created. "Can we make blueberry cake today?"

Gran smiled and it was like the sun returning after a dark, scary storm, her face brightening and looking as kind and loving as ever. "Of course, little chestnut." She leaned in, voice dipping into a conspiratorial stage whisper, "My wife picked an entire basket just this morning."

The little girl giggled and soon the two of them reached the end of the village, all talk about missing pieces and resulting, scary expressions forgotten. The blueberry cake was delicious and maybe a bit messy since the girl had tried to help a bit too enthusiastically and the cute little apron Gran had made for her was stained with purple-blue juice on one corner.

Gran's wife, Tanya, arrived just as they had taken the first bite of a still warm slice of cake.

"You baked without me?" she gasped in a mock scandalized voice. "Oh, the betrayal, how it stings!" She dramatically fell onto the kitchen table and the little girl laughed when the two older women broke out into a full blown performance just to ensure she kept laughing.

Gran brought her back home just as the sun set and a strong, steady wind blew in from the forest, bringing with it the smell of spring moss and damp, cool earth.

"Don't go into the forest," Gran said as she stopped in front of the gate that creaked noisily as soon as it was two thirds of the way open.

She looked down at the girl, her face serious. "One day you will, but try to avoid it for as long as you can. And when you do, do not trust anything in there. Do not accept anything, can you promise me that?"

As solemnly as the little girl could, she offered her little pinky. "I promise," she said and a shadow of a smile crossed Gran's face as they hooked their pinkies around each other gently.

Gran leaned down to kiss the top of her head before she left with a glance towards the house and one more look towards the forest near the village. It was an old forest, not quite as ancient as in other places, but surrounded by plenty of stories and mysteries. The girl had heard rumors about creatures living in the woods, of magic being alive in ways the mages in the big cities could never hope to replicate.

She entered her parents' house, neatly putting her boots beside her mother's and when she looked up at her parents, the question tumbled forth without much thought, "Why do I feel like I'm missing something?"

Her mother, who was currently carving leather, stilled so thoroughly she might as well have turned to stone. Her father, in the process of cooking, seemed to freeze in place, the stirring of his ladle abruptly falling silent.

"You're still growing," her mother answered at last, voice quiet and her gaze on her work. "It will pass in given time."

The little girl stared at her, startled and silent and with increasing heartbreak as the seconds passed, for she had just learned what her mother sounded like when she lied.

#answered #wip #there are most likely typos in there #so sorry that this is so late #time got away from me #I hope you might still like this #even if its like #way late #my writing #short story #but you know this is me #so it's going to be a long short story

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fullmoonraven · 1 year

Photo

"Local Lava Demon "WraithInnit", formerly known as TommyInnit, refuses to stop snogging candles; We have no clear explanation for why he continues to make out with candles, but the current running hypothesis is that he is somehow attracted to their flame. More on this subject later tonight at 6." Basically, my take on a ghostinnit that is far more wrathful and animalistic than aliveinnit had been! Cause mans deserves it, tbh Let the boy go feral

Lore and explanation under the cut!

In this fragment of an au, Tommy had been a mere two months into his exile at Logstedshire before he grew sick of it. Sick of the isolation, the hunger, sick of Dream and his stupid attempts to chain and train him like some blinded mutt.

The breaking point had been when Dream took his flight feathers.

His wings, small yet strong dandelion yellow puffs, were hardly useful for anything more than gliding- but if he caught the right current, he could stay airborne with little less than a occasional flap. Upon finding this out, Dream had held him down, ignoring his kicking, his screaming, and had taken shears to his largest feathers, cutting them away and grounding him with snip snip snips.

He’d left immediately after, leaving Tommy on the ground, still curled around what used to be his one untouched form of happiness.

The next day, Dream had returned, all sunshine and smiles, had brought a blanket and bread. Forced Tommy to take them, calling him ungrateful and a drama queen and manipulative, saying he’s just trying to make him feel bad for helping. After all, Tommy could’ve gotten hurt, could’ve fallen right to the ground and gone splat! But here he is, acting like a child, like it’s the end of the world because he got what was basically a haircut. It didn’t even hurt! Dream could’ve made it hurt, could’ve cut too short on purpose, but he didn’t! So what’s the big deal?

The day after that, Dream doesn’t show up. But the day after that blissful silence, he, Sapnap, and Ghostbur arrived, the ghost dead (hah) set on trying to decorate for the winter, and showing Tommy the tree back in L’manburg.

Tommy doesn’t want to go. Dream makes him. Drags him all the way through the Nether, up to the portal, before all of a sudden ‘remembering’ that Tommy’s banned. He could practically see the grin on Dream’s face when he offers to go through and get pictures in Tommy’s place, and within a minute, the three are gone, through the portal to L’manburg. And Tommy...

Tommy seethes.

The bastard Knew what he was doing, what he continues to do. And yet no one will see, will stand up to him, will stop him and make him pay.

With those thoughts burning behind his tongue, Tommy steps off the edge of the path, wings uselessly limp behind him, and falls, straight down into the lava ocean below.

As the last char of the boy’s body fades into nothingness, soulfire eyes snap open, brimstone claws unfurl, and a heart of hate pumps liquid fire through gold veins.

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

-=-=-=-

Tommyinnit died with a heart full of loathing, for all those who stood by and watched and did nothing to help, and hatred, reserved solely for Dream.

If Ghostbur is Wilbur’s lost happiness, then Wraithinnit is Tommy’s suffocated rage. He remembers every moment he’d just wanted to kick, to scream, to cry, but hadn’t, had pushed it down for it’d just get him hurt more if he did. He remembers every moment his feelings had been dismissed and trivialized and turned against him.

With those memories, fueled by rage, Wraithinnit hunts for Dream, dead set on killing the man who had caused him so much pain.

Sometimes, he will burn himself out, and glimpses of the old Tommy will shine through, playful and mischievous, but all the same far more animalistic than a Player should ever be, and quick to fly back into a rage if reminded of the very things that had formed him.

-=-=-=-

Hope you like him! Feel free to use him in your own aus or stories, I’d just really like to be tagged or something- I love seeing what others create!

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unwelcome-ozian · 1 year

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Hi to everyone. I wanted to ask you if there’s a term for what happened (and is happening) to me. To keep it short: as a teen (16-18) I lived with a man who forced me into sex trafficking. He used my loneliness against me and made me believe he loves me so I did what he wanted. After years of being away from him I still have strong feelings of wanting to defend him and what he’s done. As you can tell I can however say that he’s done bad things to me. But sometimes when I talk about what he’s done I start to get very dizzy and I’ll say things he used to make me repeat to him. Specifically I had to recite that I’m a toy and that I deserve abuse and rape, that I was made for it. You talk about programming on here and I can clearly tell it’s not that from what I’ve read from you. But is there a term for making victims repeat things like this until it becomes true to them even after the abuser is gone? It’s very scary to me and the people who witnessed me in the moments where this happens. I just become hollow and my voice is monotone. I feel nothing and I don’t remember who I actually am, all I know is that “I’m a toy made for abuse”. In those moments I also have a strong urge to convince people that he did nothing wrong and that I love him. Sometimes i feel like this even when I’m more grounded , but the deeper I get into that mindset the stronger the wish is to go back to him.

One of the symptoms common in complex trauma survivors is various degrees of dissociation. Dissociation creates a barrier between your conscious daily living experience and experiences where there was overwhelm created by trauma experience, that has not been able to be processed into one’s story. Those feelings and memories are then walled off as if in pockets. The parts of one’s being that have been walled off carry varying degrees of feelings or beliefs. These parts may be experienced as intrusive thoughts or they may take more developed forms of alter fragments or alters found with secondary or tertiary dissociation (explained here).

Even abusers and abuser groups that are not highly skilled or have the resources available for trauma based mind control (TBMC) have some awareness of the ability to instill beliefs in their victims that will limit their thinking and keep them loyal to their abusers. The abuse that you have described qualifies as mind control through brainwashing or indoctrination. Whereas it is not the same as TBMC (defined here), the abusers instill beliefs and actions in their victims through conditioned responses to the trauma. Though this doesn’t usually cause the levels of dissociated barriers formed with DID, the victim may still hold feelings and beliefs in dissociated parts of their personalities. These parts will be conditioned to act and believe in ways that will serve the abusers in order to best survive the abuse.

One way of creating these conditioned responses is through trauma bonds. A trauma bond is formed in the victim when the abuser is the source of trauma and also the means of survival for the victim. Due to activity that takes place in brain chemicals (which I describe here), the victim’s dependence on the abuser makes them open to believing untrue things about themselves in order to make sense of the abuse, while at the same time not blaming the abuser. The brain chemicals also allow for the victim to overlook negative information regarding the abuser and receive any relief of pain or small actions of favor as kindness on their part. By repeating the phrases that you mentioned during your abuse, your abuser was creating the beliefs that would be held by the same part of you that was holding the emotions and beliefs related to your abuse in order that that part of you would respond accordingly.

As survivors move away from the earlier abusive experiences, sometimes these same parts may be called upon to hold other similar trauma or they may be triggered and depending on the level of dissociation, one’s conscience may become aware of some of the dissociated feelings and beliefs that are trapped in those parts of themselves that are stuck in those experiences. It can be confusing to know and understand one piece of information regarding one’s history while at the same experiencing another set of feelings or beliefs regarding the same history, very strongly at times due to the responses that were induced. I hope this makes sense and offers some language for your experience.

~Josha

#answers to questions #indoctrination #brainwashing #mind control #conditioned responses #trauma responses #cptsd #trauma effects #dissociation #Josha

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kxllingangels · 1 year

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Babydoll- H.S.

A/N- Hi! Here's part 2. Full disclosure, I didn't intend to write multiple parts to this story but then I got too invested to stop, lmao. So I wrote two more "chapters" as well as made a little fanfic cover.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I stared blankly at the box. Reading and re-reading the messy cursive on its smooth face. I knew that writing like the back of my hand. It was on countless greeting cards in the back of my closet. It was on the apartment lease. It was on the note on my nightstand, reminding me how pathetic I was.

Harry.

"Rory," Maren's voice snapped me back to reality. I glanced up at the girl, noticing that she was a few steps away from me now. Her brows were furrowed in concern, her eyes moving from the box to me and then back again. "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I wanted to tell her that I wished it was that. Seeing an actual ghost would've terrified me way fucking less than holding a fragmented piece of my past. But I couldn't.

I swallowed hard, nodding my head and uttering out, "I'm fine."

I knew my unsteady voice was a dead giveaway that I was in fact, not fine, but I couldn't bring myself to add something more convincing. My eyes just kept scanning the handwritten note.

'You're still my muse.'

Maren peered over my shoulder now, looking down at the looping handwriting. "You're someone's muse and you're reacting like that?" She asked incredulously. "It's like something out of a romance movie, you should be thrilled!"

"It's not exactly a romance movie moment for me, Mare." I muttered.

Maren, always unfazed by other people, didn't understand. "Well, I think it's romantic. Now go on, open it! The suspense is killing me."

In my seven months of working at Vixens, I'd never told Maren, or anyone for that matter, about Harry. I had always meant to, but when he left it sent my world to flames and I spent months trying to put it out. It wasn't a subject I enjoyed bringing up, so I didn't. Not even to Mare, who knew seemingly everything else about me by now.

Part of me wanted to throw the box away without even opening it. Who the fuck did Harry think he was anyway? He wasn't allowed to just abandon me after three years and then drop back in whenever he wanted with some stupid present as if that would make up for the damage caused.

A bigger, and possibly more pitiful part of me, wanted to rip the box open and examine every detail of the contents inside. Like if I stared hard enough, I could find a reason, a good reason for him to have left. One that dried up all my wandering thoughts and unanswered questions. Or maybe, I'd find that he had returned. I wasn't sure which would be worse.

I didn't have time to ponder which route to take for longer than a second before Maren was ripping the box from my hands.

"Hey!" I said loudly, turning to yank it from her but stopping as she let out a loud gasp. "What?" I asked, watching her pull a small canvas from the box. I moved closer, my chest tightening.

Maybe this would give me the answers I needed.

"Ror, this is amazing," Maren said breathlessly, ignoring the calls for assistance at the bar. In her hands, there was a painting of me sat on the windowsill of my - our, apartment, a chipped blue coffee mug in hand and my eyes closed and face turned so you could only see half of it. There were newspapers scattered around the floor of the painting, and I was only wearing one sock paired with my ratty Snoopy shorts.

My eyes floated around the canvas, drinking in every detail of it. I remembered that day. I was interning at First Draft, the local journalism company downtown. I'd been so excited for my first week that I came home daily with bundles of newspapers, spreading them out around the apartment like some sort of maze.

"My little journalist is still hard at work." Harry had joked on my first Sunday off, watching me surrounded by papers and cartoon dog pajamas.

"Babydoll."

The word alone made me tense.

"What?" I asked Maren, feeling my cheeks beginning to rapidly heat up. I pushed closer to her, trying to see what she was seeing.

Her red nail polished finger pointed to the bottom of the canvas, reading out loud. "See? here he wrote 'Babydoll in the morning.'" She read out loud in a terrible attempt at a man's voice. Her brown eyes shifted up to me. "Babydoll?" She questioned, the corners of her full lips tilting up in amusement. "Who the hell is this guy and why does he call you that?"

My face was still hot. "Shut up." I grumbled, snatching the canvas from her and craning my neck to really look at the painting. "It's nothing. He's…Nothing." Maren opened her mouth to press for details, but the sound of an angry fist slamming on the bar with the demand of a pint of beer deterred her attention from me.

"Al-right, I'm coming! Hold your horses." The girl complained, stalking over to the counter and leaving me to stare at the canvas.

No matter how much I looked at the painting, I couldn't find anything of substance. No answers or clues. Just me, looking exhausted in our living room.

The remainder of my shift was a blur. I spent most of it dodging Mare's questions and curious eyes and serving bourbon to overly intoxicated customers. I tried to shove the painting, and its artist from my mind, but he seemed to be renting all the space in there and leaving me no room to think of anything else. But, at least I had bagged a fifty as a tip from a table of especially rowdy men. As I made my way up the to the third floor of my apartment building, I was partially thankful and partially disappointed to see that there was no one waiting on my doorstep.

Great. So he'd come into my life just to cause chaos and then go radio silent again. Typical Harry.

I fumbled with my house key, eventually jamming it into the lock and letting myself in.

I half expected there to be the sound of crappy indie music and the smell of his spicy drug store cologne waiting for me inside. I was angry at myself when I was disappointed by the sight of the darkened apartment in the same state I had left it in this morning.

Don't be stupid, Aurora. He said it himself, he could never be satisfied.

Not by this city or this apartment, or even me. The thought of him loving me, but not enough to stay, was enough to send me spiraling.

I didn't want to spiral. Not today.

I shut the door behind me, briskly walking inside. God, I really needed to call my therapist and set up another appointment after tonight's shit show.

Harry sure did know how to create chaos inside me. Especially for someone who wasn't even around anymore.

I turned my focus to the sink on my left. It was piling up with dirty dishes I hadn't had the energy to wash over the past week. I needed a distraction from the brunette boy. He was a master at starting a war in my head. I stalked over to the sink, turning the water on hot and grabbing a sponge. As I scrubbed, I started to feel better. Taking my frustration out on the dishes was serving as a good substitute to crying or drinking or shaving my head. So much so that I almost didn't notice the drawing of a bluebird taped to the window in the living room.

Almost, that is.

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blacky-nikki-art · 1 year

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Destiny 2 OC: Iberis-3 - Reference Sheet

Name: Iberis-3

Species: Exo

Sex: Male ♂

Height: 185cm / 6’1” ft

Ghost: Eva (She/Her)

Class: Warlock

Voidwalker (1st and prefferd one)

Stormcaller

Shadebinder

Broodweaver

White Light (his 'personal' subclass, only he can use this)

Nicknames:

Ibi

BeeBee

Bee

Other titles:

Hero of the Red War

Gardener

The Chosen One

(2nd) Young Wolf

Other

A love relationship with Shiro-4.

He lives among civilians.

Ikora's pupil.

More information about Iberis-3 under keep reading. I wrote a whole essay.

Short' History:

Iberis-3 is a young warlock, resurrected a few years before The Red War campaign. He was found somewhere in eastern Europe by his ghost, named much later Eva.

His 'young years' in the old Tower weren't positive. Iberis had problems with controlling his light to combat purposes, he wasn't good at the crucible and had personal problems understanding being a guardian, why him etc. There were also self-confidence issues. This annoyed his ghost so they argued a lot in Iberis early years. Eva was pissed off that he cannot be like others.

Iberis left the Tower after half a year. He didn't want to be a guardian/warlock. He didn't like his ghost. He was fed up with it all. After another argument, he parted ways with his ghost for several months. Eva stayed in the Tower with the other ghosts and the Speaker.

Iberis was homeless in the Last City for a while until he was hired by one of the civilians - Eddy. Not only that, Eddy allowed him to live with him and his family in his house for a while until Iberis became financially stable. Eddy did it because Ibeirs gave his missing dog back and saw that this exo had serious problems. For this reason, Iberis worked on the farm (not EZD farm, but in the Last City. People and guardians have to eat, k?). There started his fascination with plants and learning basics.

At this time he started getting dreams about Traveler which shows him how differently he can use his light, not-combat purposes. Iberis at this point began to understand that he could somehow control the growth of plants, but very poorly. Therefore, he began to learn the basics and requirements of plant cultivation.

Months passed. Iberis moved to a small apartment in a residential block but continued to work on a farm. He felt good in this place and made friends with other civilians. Iberis kept the fact that he was a warlock a secret because he didn't want anyone to know about it.

This time was important for him. He began to feel comfortable with who he is. I don’t mean the guard stuff but more his personality, what he likes etc. At The Farm, he met many friendly people. He didn’t feel like a total loser. I always thought that self-confidence is associated to accept who we are, well I wanted a small fragment of this in the story of Iberis. I cannot say Iberis-3 is always confident but his positive, calm thinking helps him with some problems.

Unlucky for him, his ghost again found him after this time. Ibeirs wasn't happy about it, he felt immediately as bad as in the Tower when he saw her again. He was 100% sure that she would try to make him come back which he didn't want to. His little life wasn't perfect but he feels much better than when he was the newbie guardian. To his surprise, however, Iberis's ghost didn't want to make him do it, but to talk to him. At this point, she also asked him not to call her Ghost but Eva.

Eva apologized to Ibeirs for her earlier behavior, constantly whining and scolding him for every little thing. She said she wants to stay with him no matter did he wants to be the guardian or not. Iberis reluctantly agreed to this. Luckily, he didn't regret it. Their relationship has changed dramatically to a more supportive one that finds a common understanding.

During the attack of the Red Legion, Eva convinced Iberis-3 to join other Guards to defend The Last City, but we all know how it ends. Iberis-3 saw the Hero of The Last City - Scilla-7 falling from the Red Legion’s battleship. She and her ghost didn’t survive that. They were dead.

After losing the light he fled the city and the story is not different than the original story from the game: Helped at The Farm, his light back, helped the vanguards, and finally beats Ghaul.

He hates when he’s called The Red War Hero because he thinks we would do nothing without the help of Zavala, Ikora, Cayde-6, Suraya, Eva and many other people. The Traveler beat Ghaul, NOT him. He just had more luck than skill. That he survived is a miracle, but you know - people don’t listen.

After The Red War, he was back to be Guardian. He still has problems at the Crucible, and still feels uncomfortable around Lord Shaxx but he's forgiving of himself - baby steps to be better. Meanwhile, Ikora helps him to better control his Voidwalker light which with her help Iberis-3 does very well, and makes quick progress in a short time. Nobody can be good at everything, right?

More of a story from a different time. It's too much, slr.

Personality:

Iberis-3 is a calm person who didn't like to show many emotions around other guardians, especially strangers-guardians. He still has trauma after his blueberry years. Iberis much easier gets in contact with civilians but still keeps his distance, and doesn't want to open for others easily.

But when he finally opens up after a long time or has a good reason, he's a nice and friendly person. He unexpectedly turns out to be a very warm person, full of understanding and not immediately judgmental. He is a passive observer. He is aware of what is going on around him, and associates with other guards/civilians but never makes contact when he doesn't have to. Usually his ghost Eva tells him what happens in the Tower cuz she's much more social than him.

Iberis is an introvert. Crowded and noisy places? Parties? Public events? No, thank you! If he doesn't have to be there, he 100% won't be there. He feels more comfortable in quiet and calm places where are not too many ppl.

Iberis is sarcastic and observant. He can also be brutally honest. He's not a fan of carefully choosing his words so as not to offend anyone.

However, in addition to these shortcomings, he also has a more witty, playful nature. He doesn't show it often unless he knows someone pretty well or if you are his ghost Eva.

Other Facts:

Iberis-3 name comes from the flowering plant Iberis sempervirens - Evergreen candytuft or Perennial candytuft, the flowers are white. He knows about this but doesn’t share this fact - candytuft doesn’t sound good for warlock.

On Earth, EDZ, somewhere around The Farm, Iberis has a greenhouse. He’s interested in flora, not only flowers but also fruits and vegetables. He doesn’t share this fact because he thinks that it wouldn’t be well received by other guards. (You, know many more dangerous, serious problems. Growing plants = wasting time).

Iberis-3 likes painting and drawing. He’s not good at this but makes him happy. Mostly he draws/paints plants ‘cuz he describes in this way unknown species from The Nessus or plants from The Earth about which he cannot find any information.

Iberis-3 has an apartment at The Last City. (I always thought guardians live in the tower as roommates/alone or something like that). He wanted more privacy and to leave work really far away when he has a bit of free time.

Iberis has a cat. Her name is Trouble. She lived in his greenhouse in EDZ but later he took her to the city.

———————————————

Okay, that’s all from me for now.

#Destiny 2 #Destiny 2 art #destiny warlock #destiny exo #blacky try draw #Iberis-3

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ridiasfangirlings · 1 year

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Reading Niki's chapter in Zero Fragments, we know that Niki had no interest in anyone or anything. However, within the same story it is said that he was only interested in one thing. And in several fragments it is alluded that that something is Saruhiko, like when he calls Kisa to find out about Saru. In addition, he himself stated that he should spend as little time as possible so as not to lose interest in anything, thus explaining why he was absent for long periods of time from home, so Ridia-san, how would you describe the type of interest that Niki felt for her own son? What do you think Niki could have found in Saru "interesting" to attract her attention? Do you think that Niki somehow believed that Saruhiko was a bit like him?

The part where he asks if he was scared when the disaster happened somehow left me wondering if Niki actually thought her son was similar to him…

That makes me wonder if Niki came to feel what it is to be a father in her way. And it reminds me of the short story where Fushimi owns a flower shop and there they talk about Niki being a good father to him.

It was definitely pretty strongly indicated in the Zero Fragments chapter that Niki’s only thing of interest is his son, and specifically just seeing his son miserable and upset. I wrote a little bit about it here when the chapter came out but Niki strikes me as something of the opposite of Munakata, where Munakata is able to find endless fascination in the things which interest him Niki gets bored by things easily and that’s why he only shows up at home every now and again, so that he doesn’t become bored of Saruhiko. It’s definitely a twisted sort of ‘affection’ (if we could even call it that), I think Niki’s feelings for his son are really more like a child who’s found a particularly interesting toy — Niki doesn’t really seem to think of his son as an actual human child who needs affection and guidance, instead Saruhiko is really just there for Niki’s amusement. And what amuses Niki the most about him is watching Saruhiko get angry or upset, Niki enjoys seeing Fushimi miserable because to him it’s the cutest and most interesting thing in the world. That he’s actively traumatizing his kid for his own amusement doesn’t really enter into Niki’s thoughts, because he’s only interested in the things he wants and nothing else.

Regarding Fushimi being similar to him, I wonder if Niki really thinks that. He taunts Kisa with the possibility in the All Characters story but I’m not sure if that’s Niki bringing up his own feelings as opposed to just assuming what Kisa thinks, that Kisa hates her child because he reminds her of her shitty husband. I actually feel like maybe Niki considers Fushimi to be similar to Kisa as well and that’s why Niki finds him so interesting — like we know Niki tires of things easily and doesn’t really have any attachments himself, but he’s still married with a child. Similarly in reading the All Characters story and how Kisa feels like Niki is someone who has the ability to pull her away from her chosen path I found myself wondering if that was part of why Kisa chose to not to be close to her son, that she basically ‘sacrificed’ Saruhiko to Niki’s interest. So going on that headcanon, I wonder if Kisa did have some quality that drew Niki to her and made him gain enough interest in her to actually marry her (and he still seems to have some affection for her too, like he may not be as interested in her as he is his monkey but he still shows up to bother her at her birthday party in the First Contact manga). Then when she had a child those same qualities that were passed down to Saruhiko caused Niki to switch the bulk of his interest to the kid and Kisa was basically able to finally go do her work as she wanted, provided she lets her husband abuse their child in return.

And the impression I get from Niki is that he probably wouldn’t like Saruhiko much if Saruhiko really was similar to Niki. They look alike but Fushimi clearly has a different disposition, even Fushimi’s twisted side isn’t really the exact same as Niki’s. When he’s taking on Niki’s mannerisms to taunt Yata, for example, it may be for his own amusement but at the same time I feel like Fushimi is trying to hurt himself here as much as he is Yata. And Niki doesn’t destroy the things he himself loves, he plays with those until he’s bored — it’s the things that Fushimi Saruhiko loves which Niki constantly tries to break. In fact on that end, I think if you broke a lot of Niki’s precious things he might laugh and shrug, the only precious thing he really would care about at all is Saruhiko. Meanwhile Fushimi gets upset and even cries when he’s a child and those are the reactions that Niki loves, the ones that are entirely different from his own, I think he loves how this kid is his and looks like him but at the same time always reacts in ways that Niki doesn’t expect (ways which are normal for a child, but Niki wasn’t a normal kid and so he doesn’t understand that).

#Fushimi Saruhiko #Fushimi NIki #Talking K #Everybody hates Niki #I think Niki 'loves' his kid in the worst possible way #but I think it's precisely bc Saruhiko isn't like him that Niki finds him fun #like there's some Niki in there but also not #Niki thinks it's amusing and adorable and he just loves his little monkey #poor Saru could've used less love

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your-world-with-nct · 2 years

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❝ thank you for tuning in to neo city tunes here at 127 FM ! we are currently OFF AIR ❞

now playing :: 134340 - bts, requested by @fullsunfluff

long story short, it hurt. he couldn’t say that he didn’t see it coming but, hearing you utter the words ‘i don’t love you anymore’ fucking hurt.

at the time, haechan thought it would be impossible to ever heal, to ever stop missing you, to ever stop loving you. there were times where pain and regret engulfed him, shattering his heart into smaller fragments with every thought of you.

haechan never thought he would be free from the heartache he had become so used to, but finally, finally, he reached a point where he could look back on your relationship fondly and appreciate what you had together without dwelling on it.

at least, he thought he had.

haechan thought he was done with the days of feeling a pang in his chest when he saw you in a mutual friend’s post, of wincing in pain when he caught a whiff of the perfume you always used to wear. he was satisfied when the day came where he no longer associated everything with a memory of you.

but why did it hurt so much more seeing a y/n that he no longer knew?

it was just like any other day, haechan’s morning lecture had just ended and he was on his way to meet his friends at whatever place they’d picked today. tuesdays were always renjun’s day to pick—he was an adventurous one, always choosing a new restaurant in the city or a café in the park to try.

today, he had decided to take advantage of the weather, his choice being a cute little ice cream parlour downtown. haechan paused in the middle of the path, squinting at the directions on his phone in confusion and covering his eyes with his hand to block out the glare of the sun.

“oop, sorry!” a cheery voice chirped, bowing quickly after bumping into the frozen boy.

“oh, no worries, sorry for getting in the way,” haechan mumbled, looking up from the screen to give the poor stranger an apologetic smile.

before he could even do so, he realised that there was no longer anyone next to him, and whoever had just been there had already joined the busy crowd of people walking past.

he never would have known who it was if he didn’t hear their friends calling their name, or if they hadn’t turned around to greet said friends.

“y/n!!! you idiot, you’re going the wrong way!”

the mere sound of your name had a lump forming in haechan’s throat, but, as much as he tried to stop it, he couldn’t help but let his gaze drift from the map on his phone to your beaming face.

he shook his head, trying to physically rid himself of the emotional pain bubbling under the surface. picking up his pace and avoiding any eye contact with you and your friends, he ignored the map and let his legs take him anywhere—anywhere that was away from you.

haechan didn’t notice when his brisk walk had turned into a panicked run until he was panting and practically stumbling onto the nearest bench he could find. he didn’t know whether it was his quickened pace or the pure shock he felt at seeing you so unexpectedly that made his breaths so heavy and uneven.

a single teardrop stained his shorts. yeah, it was definitely because he saw you.

you, who had a different hair colour to when he last saw a post of you. you, whose friends he had never met and had probably never even heard of him. you, whose voice sounded so unfamiliar and, he didn’t want to think it but, so much happier than when you were with him. a y/n that he no longer knew.

or, was it worse that he still could recognise parts of the y/n he once knew? the y/n that had such an awful sense of direction to the point where you ended up lost in haechan’s humble, little childhood home. the y/n that wore the same gold watch no matter the occasion, because he had complimented it once and you hadn’t stopped wearing it since. the y/n that always prioritised others’ feelings before their own, who had the biggest heart, but not one that was big enough to keep loving lee haechan.

the two of you were still in the same orbit, connected in ways you were no longer aware of, even when the connection had already faded. haechan wondered if you were feeling even a fraction of what he was right now—if the memories came rushing back to you as they did to him. but, that was unlikely.

you erased him, forgot him. and now, he was nothing but a reminder of what once was.

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danbisroom · 3 months

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Ep. 4 - A Message Encased in You

Hello everyone,

Welcome back to Danbi’s Room, your weekly dose of safe space. Grab a cup of something warm and get yourself cosy.

I hope you’re doing well and that you had the possibility to rest during the weekend. And I also hope that, at least once, at least for a brief moment, you looked at yourself in the mirror and you felt proud. Of everything you are and you’ve ever been. And I hope that even if you felt failure within you your soul remembered that every failure is a clue that gets you closer to whatever you might want to be or do. I hope you looked at yourself like you look at a piece of art. A real piece of art. Complex, multifaceted, unique, sublime. Beauty and terror, or strength and softness…the possible combinations are infinite and ever-changing. The point is still feeling beyond our bodies. As we always say, we’re all particles of this universe, like trees and stars and drops in the ocean. Different, united and essential. Having our own singularities is not only beautiful: we would have never survived otherwise. The pack can’t survive if everybody’s the same and does the same things and behaves the same way. That’s, in short, why we should never look down on others or ourselves “just because”. We all have our reason to exist in this form and even without resorting to motives, can’t we just joyfully live and love ourselves and each other? After all, art is meant to make you feel something, to start a dialogue, to communicate. We are embodiments of thoughts. How wonderful is that? Sometimes we can’t see it. Sometimes we’re blind. Or maybe we just don’t know how to look. Everything need to be learnt and trained, sight is no exception. This means that even seeing beauty in others is something we learn. Art has many layers right? Sure, some colours and lines instantly intrigue us, but the more paintings we study the more we grasp something new, the more we appreciate something new, the more we appreciate things that didn’t even make it to cross our mind a while before. The same applies to music. I mean I grew up with classical and jazz but that didn’t prevent me from liking punk or kpop. Listening to Bach definitely made me able to comprehend metal and the complexity of be-bop let me feel the raw feelings of Nirvana’s songs even more. Of course I won’t like everything and that’s natural. We can’t like everybody and we can’t be liked by everybody. As some art and people will feel like home, others will be inspirations and role-models and more will make us sad. It is, again, all about welcoming and embracing all of the emotions, about holding space for them. What, at a first glance, might seem a flaw, can be exactly what makes that piece of art…art. What we’ve been conditioned to dislike can be what makes us fall in love. Picasso’s cubist visions are no less than the perfect symmetries of Piero Della Francesca’s paintings in the Renaissance. And they both changed the world. Dogon traditional masks tell us stories, like ancient Greek reliefs. And that slightly out-of-tune vocalisation in talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer” is exactly what makes the song special. But this can only be seen if we’re willing to step down, if we’re willing to be completely open to observe art, to observe people, to love them. Because sometimes, we don’t know why, things just feel right. We just really need to love them. Because small eyes can still hold galaxies in them, thin frizzy hair can remind you of majestic clouds in the sky, an asymmetrical face can create the most charming expressions whose highlight is your beautiful “crooked and big” nose, along with your unique smile gently accompanied by your fine eyebrows.

This was a stream of consciousness I had a few days ago. I tried to recreate it and put the fragments together.

The conclusion is that it is true, the beauty we see is a reflection of the beauty within us.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and that you’ll have a beautiful week ahead of you!

I’ll see you in the next, big hug!

With love, yours,

Danbi