#this one lived in my head for free all summer 2023

[11oh1]

#this one lived in my head for free all summer 2023 #pmusic #musica #Dominican music #dembow #tatara remix #el alfa #bad bunny #Dominican #puerto rican #dr #pr #reggaeton #rochy rd #jay one #dominican republic #Dominican dembow #jamaican #puerto rico #nyc #washington heights #latin music #musica latina #colombia #ferxxo

[monocaelia]

fragile.

' you have broken down my defenses, and i don’t really resent it. ' - vita sackville west

in which you really don't want to care about him and his careless attitude, but you always find yourself coming back to him. always. feat. diluc ragnvindr & gn!reader w.c : 5k warnings : childhood friends to lovers, diluc lore spoilers, minor angst but ends w fluff, diluc ragnvindr. note : happy new year! sorry for the delay hehe, but this is for @seraphiism's 2023 collab event !! please support the other authors and enjoy the fic ^^

your mother had always instructed you to stay close to her side, to never stray far away from her lest you find yourself in trouble with the master of the winery or the other servants working the orchards and tending to the land of the estate.

but with a beautiful land of ripe grapes and friendly staff greeting you as you rush past them, how could you ever just sit still beside your mother as she did her job around the winery?

the late summer breeze rushes past your face as you weave through the wooden stakes holding the wiry vines of grapes above you. the warm sun rays heat your skin as you leap over the small rocks that litter the passage leading into the main area of the ragnvindr estate. the wind whispers in your ear, making you grin as your little legs take you wherever it guides you.

you feel free, the wind pushing past your wings to lead you to your newest adventure around the manor.

your feet land firmly on the grounds behind the manor when you hear the gentle sniffles coming from behind a couple of barrels. despite your mother's warnings echoing in your head, you take gentle steps towards the sound as curiosity takes over.

you're not expecting to see a young boy with fiery red hair and matching eyes that hold the warmest, flickering fire glaring up at you with tears at the corner of his eyes and holding a bleeding knee.

"...are you okay?" you ask, kneeling down beside him. you begin to frown when he pulls his knee away from you and his glare deepens.

"i don't need your help," the young boy hisses at you and you roll your eyes.

"really? you don't need my help even though you're crying in a corner all by yourself?" you scoff at him. he doesn't say anything in retaliation and you take it as an okay for you to help him.

you pull a handkerchief from your pocket; nothing too fancy as your family couldn't afford the finest silks like the nobles could. it's cotton, white, and had a simple design of a little sparrow emroidered in the corner.

"i don't have any bandages on me," you mumble softly. your little fingers gently wrap the handkerchief around the young boy's knee several times before tying a small knot on it. without even blinking, you lean down to kiss the wounded knee.

"what are you doing?!" the young boy exclaims, yanking his knee away.

"kissing it better," you say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "my mother always does that when i get hurt. she says it takes the pain away and makes it heal faster."

"that's stupid," the boy mumbles with a glare.

"says the one who tripped and fell and hurt himself," you argue back. you stick your tongue out when the boy shouts out a 'hey!' and roll your eyes.

"who are you and what are you doing here anyways?" you ask the young boy, kneeling beside him once more. he's still glaring at you, but it's less hostile than it was a few moments ago. "my mom said strangers aren't allowed to be here."

the young boys eyes are red, vibrantly so. the life in them burn brightly, reminding you of a fire as it flickers with warmth and a promise of a brighter tomorrow. like the hearth of a fireplace, the young boy seems to be the incarnate of warmth itself with the way he's filled with the flame of life.

"i live here, dummy," he quips back at you with a frown and your eyes widen.

"really? i've never seen you around, and i've been everywhere on this estate," you reply, bringing your thumb and forefinger to your chin as you remain deep in thought. truly, the only people you've managed to catch were all adults working for the master of this winery. never once have you seen a kid running along.

with a bright smile of your own, you lean towards the young boy. "we should be friends! since i don't know anyone else to play with here, we can play!"

the boy looks you up and down with furrowed brows, but he slowly nods. "...okay," he mumbles and you grin brighter.

"great! what's your name then? i'm-"

your name is shouted as hurried footsteps rush towards you. your mother pulls you aside as she looks at the young boy in front of you with panicked eyes.

"young master, i'm so sorry if my child said or did anything to hurt you," your mother says in a rush. she pushes your head down to bow in front of the young boy. she hisses something into your ear and you stutter out your own apology too, even if you did nothing wrong.

you find out the young boy you helped earlier that day was the son of the nobleman your mother works for, diluc ragnvindr. apparently, he's some big deal because he's the young master, but what kind of big deal hurts himself and hides between the barrels instead of asking for help?

you huff as you kick your feet sitting down by your bedside. because of the whole debacle, your mother had ordered you to stay inside to prevent even more debacles from happening even if you explained that the young master getting injured was not your fault. the sun shining from your windowsill feels so far away as you stare outside and ponder what to do.

until you hear a light pattering sound come from your window.

your curiosity is piqued as your small frame approaches the glass panes, wide eyes peeking over the wooden frame as your eyes scan the scenery.

the foliage of the trees surrounding your home cast shadows over your house with small animals running back and forth from the greenery above, causing the rustling of the leaves. the sun trickles in through the gaps of the leaves and your eyes settle on the boy with red hair standing outside your window, a small rock in his hand.

there's a proper bandage on his knee now as it was properly dressed, and his fiery eyes meet yours. he looks hesitant at first, but his brows furrow and his lips open to prepare to speak.

"...come outside and play with me," he tells you when you push open the window in your bedroom, a slight pout in his voice.

"you got me in trouble," you reply shortly, "and now i'm stuck inside because of you."

the young boy bites his lip, pondering what he could do or say to make things better. from the way he's thinking hard enough for you to see steam coming out of his ears, you could tell that he was trying really hard to think of anything to say.

"i'm sorry," he mumbles, kicking the dirt with his shoe.

"sorry, what was that?" you ask, holding your ear out.

the young master huffs, his cheeks puffed out in annoyance. he stomps his foot before-

"i said 'i'm sorry'!"

you smile at him smugly before crossing your arms on the windowsill. it was amusing to see the supposed young master like this; for such a renowned young boy, he was such a cry baby.

"okay, i can't go outside, but we can still play inside if that's okay," you tell him with a bright smile. "i'll let you in!"

"diluc..." he says, red eyes meeting yours. he reminds you of a fire with the way he's looking at you; so full of life but almost burning you if you get him too riled up. but the flames are tame now compared to the anxious flickers you saw earlier before he apologized.

"okay; i'll let you in then, diluc!"

ever since that warm summer, you and diluc have been inseparable; every afternoon is spent exploring the land of the winery but never straying far enough to get lost or end up on the other side of the lake where monsters lurk.

you were there the evening master crepus brought home another young boy around your age home; his blue hair reminding you of the blueberries your mother bought from mondstadt for you to eat. it was a bit of an adjustment with another young boy to play with, but soon you got along well with him as well.

his bright blue eyes always sparkling as you invite him to play alongside diluc and his little hand held in yours. he reminded you of the stars above with the way his eyes twinkle with youth and reflect the night sky above you when the three of you snuck out of your homes to stargaze with your hands holding onto each other until the morning sun began to rise over the horizon.

with your hands held tightly with diluc's and kaeya's, your youth together was only just beginning.

it's a cool morning where the early frost is beginning to melt as the sun continues to rise over the horizon, spreading her warmth and love across the fields of dawn winery. the young master has been gone for a couple days now; something about some sort of knight exam or whatever happening in the city of mondstadt. you would have gone with him, but your duties lie in caring for the winery whilst your friends head off to the heart of mondstadt to finish their training and hopefully become part of the knights of favonius that crepus ragnvindr had always encouraged them to be a part of.

you know having their father's praise meant a lot to your dear friends and you could only hope for the best for both diluc and kaeya as they were off doing their duties.

your ears perk as your name is shouted through the winery along with the sound of hooves rapidly against the dirt road. over in the distance, you can make out a red haired young man galloping over on his steed at near full speed. with wide eyes, you try to tell him to slow down before you get trampled and-

"oof!" you groan as a heavy body slams into you, both his weight and warmth tackling you to the ground. you're thankful that his arms cradled your head as you both go tumbling into the dirt road underneath you and the only pain was that of your body against the floor.

you don't even get to question why diluc had tackled you to the floor when he pulls his face away from you, giving you a clear view of his expression. he's smiling brightly, a wide grin on his face and his eyes of rubies twinkling brighter than any flame you've ever seen. the flames of his soul flicker brilliantly in his excitement and you can't help your own match his energy.

"i got in!" diluc says, his boyish smile growing wider. the small divots in his cheeks are cute and evidence of how hard he was grinning at the news. "i passed the trials got to do the oath swear and- oh, i wish you could've been there!"

despite growing up into a more mature-ish teen, it is moments like these where you're reminded that even as time passes and he grows taller than you, diluc is still the bright eyed boy that you've known since you were young. he looks so cute, in an endearing way, when he eagerly tells you all about his trials and how tough they were.

you really hope that the young master stays the same as he is now.

with a gentle hand, you reach up to ruffle his hair; it's soft to the touch and your eyes don't miss the way diluc pauses in his excitement as your fingers weave into his hair. you assume it's because he's not used to your praise and brush it off, even as he leans into your touch and waits for your words.

"why don't we head inside first? i want to hear everything that happened, but inside where it's warm and comfortable rather than on the dirt floor, diluc," you say to him, a slight lilt in your voice. you laugh softly when you see his cheeks flush a little in embarrassment before he gets off of you.

"i apologize, i was just so eager to tell you," diluc says softly, reaching down to offer a hand to you. you take his hand; you can feel the natural warmth emanating from his body through his gloves and, before you know it, you've been pulled up from the ground. his arm wraps around your waist to assure that you're balanced as you stand up.

"i just," diluc begins. you watch him as the young master of the winery averts his gaze briefly before he meets yours, warm rubies enveloping you with nothing but the comfort he holds for you ever since you were both younger.

"i wanted you to be the first person i told and to tell you."

a wave of something pleasant washes over you knowing that diluc, the heir of dawn winery and one of the most hardworking and talented man in all of mondstadt, rushed back home on horseback in the early hours of this chilly morning just to announce the news to you in person.

just so he could be your first in regards to his good news.

you laugh softly as something warm settles into the pit of your heart, squeezing his hand in yours as you tug him towards the main mansion of the winery estate with no intentions of letting his go for the time being.

even with the budding flowers of youth begin to bloom and the happiness that was promised to you has yet to come, you would have never expected for the spring of your youth to end so abruptly.

it happened all so quickly; crepus ragnvindr wielding a delusion, his death and the anger of diluc exploding, and the fall of your friendship with kaeya and diluc.

you weren't given the details of either one's situation, just a witness of a near death experience and the unforgiven apologies spewing from kaeya's lips as he held his injured eye in the midst of the rain washing down on them as if mourning both the loss of crepus ragnvindr and the wound wedged deep between the relationship of the ragnvindr brothers.

it was like in a mere second, the once warm diluc that would blush and hold your hand so delicately had been wiped away and replaced by a diluc grieving the loss of his father as the flames of his anger and betrayal of both his own brother and the knights of favonius for trying to brush the murder of his father under the rug explode and engulf his entire being.

he doesn't even give you a proper goodbye, leaving only a letter dedicated to you and his vision dimly glowing on his nightstand behind.

it feels like a fever dream when you hear the news of diluc finally returning after all of these years. you don't even hear it from the man himself; rather, from the whispers and excited chatter that the master of dawn winery had returned home.

part of you is excited at the news that he's alive; with no news of his existence after he ran from home in search of the truth behind his father's death other than the faint glow and warmth radiating from his vision clutched in your hands when you missed and worried for him, you were ecstatic knowing that he truly was home now.

that he's alive and breathing and still with you.

and yet, another part of you twinges in pain that he didn't come to you and announce that he was home. he had left you without even a single goodbye, not even bothering to visit you and explain his situation before leaving you questioning whether or not he even cared about how you felt about him.

of course, you aren't entitled to being the first to know, but after growing up together and usually being the first to know of everything in your youth, your heart aches knowing you were one of the last to hear of this at the winery.

it doesn't help knowing that you have not even caught a glimpse of diluc after his supposed return.

so imagine your surprise coming home one evening, the cool night air biting against your skin as you return home after a long day's work, seeing a figure leaning against your home.

at first, your blood turns cold as your heart races in your ears; it couldn't be anyone bad... the winery is a safe place and any suspicious figures are dealt with accordingly before they even step close to the winery grounds. you don't even have anything to defend yourself against if they did happen to be someone with malicious intent.

you take a step back to turn tail back to the estate but freeze when you begin to recognize the figure outside your door; red curls resembling that of flames flickering in the air and warm ruby eyes that you could recognize anywhere. despite standing in the dim evening light and having only the glow of the lantern outside of your home, you could make out the injuries through his dark clothing.

just what did he get himself into?

you hesitate at first, but eventually let your instincts take control as you begin to walk over to your home. it's as if you were both in the blooming stages of your youth again, bringing diluc home to mend his wounds after training for the knight exams.

caring for him was like muscle memory to you, even after all of the events leading to him leaving you in the dust.

you don't say a word as you open the wooden door and guide diluc in, pulling out a chair by the fireplace. wordlessly, he sits in it as you leave to prepare to clean his wounds.

your fingers shake ever so slightly as you remove diluc's coat from his shoulders, the heavy fabric falling to the floor with a thud. you apologize softly as you begin to unbutton his shirt and, as each button is undone and reveals more of his skin, your fingers begin to flinch every time your skin brushes against the skin of his chest.

his breath is warm, you can feel it against your skin as you slide off the remaining clothes on his torso. his chest is bare to you, and normally you would be gawking at how much he has physically changed since you were younger. but you cannot help but stare at how much he had been injured in the last few years you have seen him.

aside from the scratches from the most recent scuffle which led him to your quaint home beside his manor, scars litter his chest and arms. although most of them are healed, the damage that he had experienced was still evident on his skin and you hold back a gasp at how deep some of them had been; there's a huge scar that runs diagonally from the top of his chest to his stomach and you could already feel your stomach churning at the pain.

you couldn't imagine having to sustain those injuries for so long, and being alone through it all.

and, now, you hope that the injuries currently on his body heal faster knowing that he isn't alone this time. not when he has you by his side.

diluc's eyes burn holes into your skull as he watches you dip a towel into the bucket of warm water at your side; you pretend to ignore him. twisting the soaked cloth to rid it of the excess water, you gently begin to clean the wounded man in front of you.

a man you consider an old friend, but you fear he doesn't hold the same sentiment. not anymore.

it's quiet, the only sound shared between the two of you being the occasional sound of the towel dumped back into the bucket and the crackling of the fireplace in your living space. the moon casts her illuminating rays through the window of your home, but her light is nothing compared to the comfort of the fire in your home.

the comfort of the man in front of you, even if you didn't want to ever admit it to him now.

the glass jars containing the disinfecting ointment for diluc's wounds clink gently as you open them to spread over his skin.

"why are you helping me?" his voice breaks the thick silence between you two. his sudden question makes your hands pause, but you don't raise your head as you think of something to reply.

"and let an old friend bleed to death outside my door? you think i'm that heartless, diluc?" you ask him. your fingers resume their previous job of slathering the medicine over his new wounds. "i could say the same to you, why show up to my house like this?"

another silence follows your words and you assume he's done interrogating you for your kindness to him.

"i had nowhere else to turn to," diluc says after a while. your eyes catch his fists tighten on his lap as he takes another breath. "you've shown me nothing but kindness even after i was so cruel to you."

you exhale softly at his words. of course he thinks dealing with his own problems this entire time was the worst thing he could do to you. if you were being honest, it did hurt when he seemingly pretended you didn't exist or pushed you away when he had returned home from whatever he was dealing with away from mondstadt.

you had hoped for a joyful reunion, one filled with tears as you finally welcome home your old friend. but he never announced when he was coming home and you only figured out through the grapevine. he was never home when you looked for him and when you finally caught a glimpse of him, your eyes would meet for barely a second before he rushed off elsewhere and leaving you in the dust.

according to kaeya, his brother whom you've kept in touch with throughout the years. diluc had changed even more ever since his return; he kept his feelings to himself and his face remained 'constipated,' as per kaeya's words, due to his inner turmoil.

but from everyone else, he had always been so kind to them. the old women in the city would always praise how gentle the young master was, helping them walk across the city or carrying their groceries if they needed it. the young women also constantly swooned over how mysterious, yet warm-hearted diluc was; seemingly cold in nature but treating children and animals with such tenderness.

"it did hurt knowing you were ignoring me," you confess as your fingers begin to unravel the gauze to wrap over his wounds. "even if you wanted everyone to think you've changed and have become cold and guarded, i know you're still the same caring boy i've known since we were young. i hope so, at least."

his skin is warm to the touch, another feature you realize has never changed about your old friend. with bated breath, you lift your head to let your gaze finally settle on diluc's own. just as you predicted, despite the physical changes, you can still see the diluc you once knew within the scarred and older man in front of you.

diluc has definitely gotten older; the baby fat on his face slimming down slightly to reveal a more defined jaw and the bags under his eyes were evidence of his restless nights away from mondstadt. there are light scars on his face, nothing too deep to keep from his princely demeanor but are definitely proof of a troubling journey, and he has grown taller than the last time you had seen him in your youth.

but one thing that has never changed is the fire the lights up his eyes. so red and warm, you're tempted to hold his face in your hands to get a closer look. they're so vibrant, alive like the embers that flicker in the fireplace that lights your home, as they stare back at you in anticipation of your next words.

"you would never intend to hurt me on purpose. so if i should have to wait forever for you to be ready to come to me like you've had in the past, i don't mind doing so."

diluc's stoic expression wavers at your words. a sliver of guilt shines in his eyes and he looks away briefly as he digests the words you've spoken to him.

he couldn't tell you the reasons why he always kept you at arm's length; was he wary of your intentions for always being kind to him despite how he treated you or was he so used to people close to him lying to his face that he feared you were also pulling a facade?

or was he scared of you sharing the same fate as his family should he loved you with his heart on his sleeve, a fate of being held in his arms as he feels the warmth that once comforted him when you were young fade away like the embers in the hearth of a fireplace?

diluc did not want to know and he did not need to know, not when you're looking at him with such trust and compassion that he finds it hard to even hold any distrust towards you.

his dear friend from his youth who was always there to pick him up when he fell.

you did not break through the walls shielding diluc's heart for you had already found your place beside it, holding he's life with your gentle hands and protecting his soul's flames with your faith in him.

"i'm sorry," diluc apologizes to you, looking into your eyes. one of your hands is grabbed to be held by him, rough and scarred and so calloused as it held the memories and grief of what he went through to become like the man in front of you, the gauze held in your other. his warmth seeps into your skin, heating up your skin as the flames of his heart grow and encase your entire being within its embrace.

your lips part to say something, but he continues to speak.

"i thought keeping you away would benefit us both," he takes a breath as his eyes scan over your own features, taking in all that has changed since the last time he saw you in your adolescent years; how much you've grown both physically and emotionally. you look so much more mature than the naughty child who ran around breaking their mother's rules just to play with him or the dear friend who would bicker with him endlessly during their teenage years.

the years of their beautiful youth, years that he wished so dearly he could go back to and live in that peace for eternity.

but while the winds continue to blow and move time along, you've continued to stay the same despite the change.

you're still so kind, so inviting to someone like him.

you treat him like the friend you've remembered in your adolescence, even if his hands were bloodied with vengeance and his heart is scarred and wounded from betrayal and deceit.

he is still diluc, just diluc in your bright and beautiful eyes; he always had been.

his hands squeeze yours tightly, hoping that he has the courage to say what he wants to say.

"i don't deserve your kindness, or your love. but if i imagine a life where i have succeeded in pushing you away and we no longer talk," diluc begins, the fire in his eyes wavering as they hold your gaze.

"i don't think i would ever want to live a life where you're not in it."

diluc's words shake you to your core; it's something you wouldn't expect him to say now after all these years. as much as you want to immediately forgive him and push back the years of agony, waiting for any sign that he was alive while leaving his vision behind, or even watching as he ignores you despite being home after all these years, your heart aches knowing knowing he even did this to you in the first place.

"how can i know that you won't leave me like you did?" your voice is small despite being so close to him. in fear of having him see how much his actions have affected you, you face tilts down to your lap to avoid his gaze. "i can't just wait for you forever, it hurts sitting here all these years with a promise i don't even know if you'll keep."

you take a shaky breath as you speak again.

"you didn't even say goodbye."

your voice breaks as you say those words and you can feel the burning sensation as the tears threaten to spill over your eyes.

there's a moment of silence between the two of you before you hear him gently call out your name. his free hand reaches up to cup your face, tentatively guiding you to face him. he says your name again, softly as if even saying your name too harshly would cause you to break, and you hesitantly meet his gaze.

there's a tenderness that you recognize deep in those fiery pools in his eyes, one that flickers like the hearth of your fireplace and suddenly you feel like you're experiencing the most beautiful yet fleeting moment in life once more. diluc's thumb gently presses against your cheek to wipe away any tears that overflowed from your already wet eyes.

his pinky links with your own, a childish thing to do but one that you still hold dear to your own heart.

a promise between the two of you bathed in firelight and your youth reflected back at you in the shape of the young man sitting before you.

#diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin x reader #diluc fluff #diluc fics #didi writes #seraphiism'23 #events !! #this was fun!! #sorry this is really late TT life is life-ing o(-( #n e wayz; i do think diluc would b such an annoying kid LOL #b r a t to the core #but he mellows out and all that fun stuff later #happy new year everyone ! i hope you enjoyed my (late) work !!

[ninthskzmember]

Sweet revenge

Hwang Hyunjin x reader.

idol!hyunjin x idol!reader word count: 1,3k warnings: kinda angsty, jealous hyunjin (lives in my head rent free), resentful reader, swearing. note: hi guys! i just wanted to keep a little update for you all while i'm working with the 2min sharing is caring part. i hope you enojoy this. <3 love ya.

"So you're really doing it"

"I'm totally doing it"

"Everyone is gonna know..."

"Yeah, that's kind of the idea" You smiled at her "I want him to feel as stupid as I did"

"Yeah, I get it but―"

"Stop defending him" you cutted her off. "If you're on his side then be, but don't come here and annoy me"

"I'm not" she added "What he did was wrong, periodt. BUT" she emphasized the last word "You'll expose him in front of everyone"

"He will know"

"Okay, but the people who knew you will know too" she paused "plus he sucks at hiding shit"

"That's on him, he sucks at media training" you laughed when remembered the many times he almost exposed your relationship with him just because his goofyness.

"Okay, I'm just warning you" she smiled and walked towards you "Have fun and break a leg" she hugged your body and let you go.

"Thank you, Somi" You smiled at her and moments later, she left.

[Later that day...]

'I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring, he argued with me about everything.'

Your song started blasting on the huge speakers from the award show, the sound of the drums was making the people's chest even vibrate a bit

'He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye, he said he's six foot two and I'm like dude... nice try.'

And there it was, the first direct lyrics against your ex lover, standing right in first row with his beloved members right beside him.

You weren't even trying to hide that you wanted to see his reactions over the lyrics, you kept an eye on his table from the first moment you got a foot on stage.

'But he was so much fun, and he had such weird friends, and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end. Another song, another club, another bar, another dance, and when he'd said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France.'

You knew his members knew about you, so there was no surprise to you when they laughed out loud with the 'weird friends'.

When the song reached the France line, in the screens from the place there were shown many pictures of you in the country... The ones that Hyunjin took for you in his own little camera. Yes, you'd save them for years if you needed to.

'So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed, till I remember all the times he made a pass on my friend. Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down; If I had to choose... I would say right now...'

Long pause, just to have him on his tippy toes. Jeongin was literally grabbing him, waiting for the music to break and expecting the next lyrics.

'I want to get him back, wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad. Oh, I want to get him back, 'cause then, again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad'

Audience screaming and moving their hands in the air to the rhythm of the music, and a 'I can't believe it' kind of expression in Hyunjin's face was everything that you needed to feel fulfilled.

'Oh, I want sweet revenge. I want him again. I want... To get him back, back, back'

You sang these lyrics while dancing along with Beomgyu, who was banging his head along with the music. You knew Hyunjin was going to be upset about it, you had a zillion discussions with your ex-lover about this guy, and that's why you did it.

'So I write him all these letters and I throw them in the trash cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh'

You changed your lyrics while singing live 'the way he grabs my ass' while the backing track stayed true to the official line. Shocked everyone in the room, including your own friends in the building, who knew the real lyrics but didn't expect you to be explicit at this event.

'Yeah, I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "Send"

I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends'

You pointed to those friends in question: Somi, Karina, Giselle, Yujin, Yunjin, and Chaewon between others, who screamed their lungs off from your action, hyping you up.

'Because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do

He said I was the only girl but that just wasn't the truth'

You side-eyed him and then did the same thing with Yeji, who looked fastly to the floor, hiding her face and then looking away.

Everyone in the industry knew you weren't one to mess with, and yet, those two did.

This was just the begging of a long plan you made up to get your sweet revenge to the one who broke your trust and heart and the one who went along with it.

'And when I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'. But I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him'

You flutterer your eyes to the camera at the end of the lyric and the chorus started again, you repeating your actions from before.

[...]

"What do you want?" You asked when you observed him through the mirror

"What was all that about?"

"A song I wrote, why?" You asked, not even bothering to turn around and engage the conversation

"I know you wrote it" he rolled his eyes

"Did it touch you deep inside?" You laughed, still eating some snacks

"You shouldn't have done that. The France pictures? Y/n, that was risky"

"Risky?" You turned back this time "Fuck off, Hyunjin. Fuck you, and Yeji. Oh wait, you've already done that"

"Why are you not taking your makeup off?" He ignored your comment "You always take your makeup off after performing"

"Because I've got a date and I like the makeup" you smiled

"Oh, do you? Who is it?"

"Why do you care?" You brought another snack to your lips

"Is it Beomgyu?"

"Why do you care so much who's dick I ride?" You frowned

"You had sex with him already?" His ears turned red

"It's none of your business. Keep your dick inside Yeji and don't bother me."

"We were wasted, I didn't mean to do it. You know it" the man stared at you trying to hide his emotions.

"I don't care! You hurt me, Hyunjin. I was the one to find you two having naked aftercare. AFTERCARE. You don't do aftercare with a one-time-accidental hook up." You sighted for a moment "I won't fucking cry and ruin my makeup. Leave. Now." Your eyes were already watery as you tried to stop the tears

"I won't." He stood his ground in front of you

"Leave, they're gonna pick me up any minute and I don't want you here to ruin it"

"No. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to hurt you." he took your hand and you pulled it away quickly

"Don't touch me. My trust in you is broken, there's no going back" you denied as you took a few steps away from him

"Please" his eyes were the ones that were watery now, you could tell he was being honest, but you couldn't forgive him after what he made you feel.

"Y/ninnie, time to gooo" A voice cooed from the door as you froze

"Chan Hyung?" Hyunjin turned himself faster than ever, as his eyes met his leaders

"Hyunjin? I... I didn't expect you here" the older one blinked a few times as you observed everything from behind Hyunjin's body

"Hyung... What are you doing here?"

You thought that getting him back was gonna make everything better, but hearing the hurt in his voice broke you even more.

"Mate, I can explain" His leader walked inside

Hyunjin didn't even say another word, he just walked past his member, looking back at both of you, and left the room as one tear rolled down his face.

You felt how your world crashed inside of you. Turns out that getting him back was not what you needed, and just hurt yourself even more.

#skz #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #hyunjin skz #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin x you #hyunjin #bang chan #hyunjin x reader #bang chan imagines #bang chan x reader #skz x reader #skz x you

[legacygirlingreen]

Topic: Sebastian and Solomon Sallow HCs

TW: mild discussion of abuse

It’s been almost a year in the fandom and I love seeing people continue to expand on the headcanon and lore surrounding these characters. The discussion of Solomon and his abusive tendencies comes up a lot towards his nephew. Beyond just the verbal - which we get a mild glance at paired with the elements told by Sebastian - one might can infer there’s more to the story.

Some people have proposed Sebastian possibly living in that shack (I can’t remember who exactly plus please feel free to tag and I’ll add them). Discussions of how physical the abuse is have happened in many locations.

As for why I love the HC of Solomon (forcibly) cutting Sebastian’s hair stems from the importance of hair in the time the game exists. Hair was an important aspect of home making - specifically with mothers to their children and fathers teaching their sons how to groom. Lack of parental figures that care can lead to those who seek to harm - thus why it makes sense in my brain for Solomon to do this.

Hair also played an important role between lovers - with things like hair locks being gifted by both genders to the other and rising to the use of lockets to hold locks of hair in a way to always keep that person close to your heart.

Sebastian frequently is shown in cut scenes scratching the back of his neck nervously, and while some people have the nervous tick of biting their nails this often one we see for him.

Solomon forcing unwanted appearances onto his nephew truly seems within the realm of possibility in my mind, especially when you consider the time period, the fact it truly looks so uneven in the game and he stays at a baseline upset with Solomon.

On the flip side Solomon could be seeing this as a means to help with comfortability during hot summers despite not enjoying the task. As far as Victorian standards go it was a task usually reserved for the woman of the house until a certain age. We don’t get any clues on if he had children of his own and suddenly going from a bachelor auror to having to take care of your brother’s children likely wasn’t a light adjustment. His frustration at the situation at times might’ve come out towards those kids, putting stops to things he might’ve found difficult to watch his brother allow when the Sallow’s were alive.

I could speak at length about this topic of how their relationship might’ve grown more and more strained with time but I digress.

Almost one year ago I wrote a fic expressing a possible way in which Solomon might’ve pushed that boundary of abusive behavior with his nephew is in aggressively cutting his hair . This lead me down a rabbit hole of jumping back in fandom. those who have stuck around since March of 2023 for the ride with over 250k words of Sebastian content across my main fic, mini fic and one shots : thank you💚

In the spirit of this I would LOVE to hear any further ideas on this head cannon so if you have some please feel free to comment, dm or put it in my ask box! I love hearing your theories! Especially when it comes to the interesting relationship between Solomon and Sebastian.

Since then it’s been wonderful to watch this head canon grow:

@writing-intheundercroft has furthered it by suggesting that the reason it looks so terrible is sheep shears - which utterly cracks me up in ways I cannot express !

@mrsbrookemunson also wrote a one shot tackling the same concepts and you can find it here:

And if you’re interested in my work it’s here:

Anywho, this is a simple reminder that we can all share a lot of the same ideas and also expand on them in ways that bring us together as a collective and not divide. I’ve seen so much hate, accusatory behavior in the HL fandom the last few months and it’s growing tiresome. I love seeing how we can all share our thoughts and bring new and developing ideas to the same characters, creating our own lore which expands beyond the canon.

Again, I look forward to hearing others chime off on their thoughts on the matter. I know a lot of people have opinions of Solomon so please let me know 🤣

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow/reader #sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader #hogwarts legacy fandom #solomon sallow #discussion #head canon

[deathbyyoongx]

everytime; chapter 6 — myg

╭ chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ...

╭ word count: 5k

╭ summary: Everyone knew Min Yoongi as the guy who wouldn't say no to a nice pair of tits. His cocky attitude and stunning looks made it hard for most girls to resist. And even though you would like to say you're not like the others in that aspect, you unfortunately happened to be his ex. But even though you despised his guts for the last 3 years or so, he somehow managed to find himself a way between your legs on one semi-drunk night.

╭ pairing: fuckboy!yoongi x ex!reader

╭ genre: smut, angst, bit of fluff, more smut

╭ warnings: enemies to fwb, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, jealous ex!jungkook, bestfriend!jimin, hate sex, yoongi has a degrading kink but so does yn, brat taming, hair pulling, spitting, slapping, hickeys, choking, unprotected sex (STAY SAFE GUYS!), creampie, praise kink, hand kink, possessive yoongi, sexual content ofc, mentions of drinking, ...

╭ author's note: this fic is inspired by the song everytime by ariana grande. I also recommend using the chrome extension InteractiveFics for a better reading experience ;)

I'm sorry my dear readers it took so long. My life has been so busy this summer, but I'll finally have some free time soon. Not fully satisfied with this chapter, but I hope you'll still enjoy it <3

08/09/2023

The inevitable happened. Jungkook was standing in front of your door, right here, right now. You knew ignoring him was a bad idea and this was bound to happen from the start if you kept avoiding him. It also didn’t help that he interrupted your little self-love session which involved you pleasuring yourself by the mere thought of Min Yoongi. You’ve become your greatest self-saboteur. You just kept rethinking that night you were at his house where you were too much of a pussy to make a move. The scenario of that morning where he was just on display for you, ready for you to get rid of his morning wood. But no, you didn’t dare. The words of Yoongi just echoed through your head. ‘You’re a lot of talk when you’re drunk, but sober you’re such a pussy.’ You hated the fact he was right. But, back to Jungkook, before you were getting even more worked up.

“Look, I wasn’t planning to come over,” Jungkook said with a pleading expression, looking very apologetic about the fact he was bothering you today, making you feel even worse about ignoring him. “But I had plans with Joon and since you live right next to him, I just wanted to check on you for a second.”

No matter what happened between you and Jungkook, you could never be mad at him. You’ve known him for some time now, and you just knew how sweet that boy was. Whenever you’d text him in need, there he was. Whenever you wanted advice, a hug, or just a good laugh, there he was in front of your door. And that’s why you couldn’t break his heart again. You just knew how disappointed and heartbroken he’d become if he’d known about your little affair with Yoongi. You didn’t owe him anything, you knew that. You also knew, that the longer you postponed telling him, the worse he’d react. But every time you wanted to tell him, your heart blocked you off. “That’s sweet Jungkook, I’m fine though.”

“You've been distant, I barely hear from you anymore. Did I do something wrong?” Suddenly, you felt really bad about ignoring Jungkook as soon as he asked that.

“I know and I’m sorry. I’ve just been busy lately.” Oh, and busy you were, but for all the wrong reasons.

“With the move probably?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t a lie, you have finally packed out all of your stuff, but it also wasn't the complete truth. But as long as you didn't lie, it didn't make you feel too bad. “Sorry if I made you think I forgot about you.”

“It's fine, u know I can't be mad at you.” Likewise. “Maybe I got too worked up over nothing.” Jungkook stayed quiet for a second. “If you want, I can ask Namjoon if you could join us. It has been a while since we’ve hung out.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Jungkook’s suggestion. “That's sweet, but I'm a bit tired.” And very horny cause you interrupted my little fantasy of Yoongi. “But I’ll text you to hang out as soon as possible, okay? I promise.” You held out your pinky finger to enhance your promise, waiting for him to link his with yours. 

Jungkook smiled, teeth showing as well. You’ve been keeping promises like this ever since college. “Alright then.” He said while he linked his pinky with yours. “See you later.” After your wholesome goodbye with Jungkook, it was time to continue your sinful ‘fingerpainting’ session again if you wanted to function for the rest of the evening. Because, damn, did the idea of Yoongi drive you insane. But the moment you spread your legs again, that dreadful message of that girl popped back in your head, making you cancel all plans you had to finger yourself at the thought of that fuckboy. Remember that name Eunha? Yes, we all do. One thing led to another and now you were looking up her profile by searching through Yoongi’s followers. You hated her already. Not only was she drop-dead gorgeous, but you saw her feed was full of pictures of her and Yoongi. “Argh-“ You groaned out loud out of frustration. How could you compare to these beauties? You rarely felt insecure, but when it came to Yoongi? Damn, it’s as if confidence never crossed your path. The mere thought of Yoongi spending another night with another girl made you groan out loud out of resentment. You just kept telling yourself: ‘You know he’s a fuckboy, you shouldn’t obsess over this’. You were putting yourself in this situation. But the feeling of him wanting you just was too addictive. You couldn’t even differentiate the feeling of lust and love anymore around him. You just knew one thing for sure, you wanted him. That’s it. There was only one rational thing left to do now. Send him a nude. After some awkward posing half-naked in front of your full-body mirror, only wearing some black lace panties, you finally took a picture you were more than satisfied with. A proud smirk formed on your lips as you sent the picture to him with the caption ‘so long till Friday :(’.

Sent.

Where had your rational thinking gone whenever it came to Yoongi? You wouldn’t have done this for any other guy, but him? That man just made you do irrational things. You pulled on an oversized shirt as you just continued to scroll down Instagram, further stalking the girls that you saw tagged Yoongi in their posts. Not only the fact that there were other pretty girls that we’re fucking Yoongi was bothering you, but also the fact that it was so fucking many. This was just bound to happen. A hot successful single man in his twenties that loved to fuck around and was also good at fucking around? Of course girls would scurry to him like hungry rats. Maybe you shouldn’t think of those girls as rats, you bet they were lovely girls that, like you, couldn’t resist the charms of Mister Min Yoongi. This was your jealousy talking, but why were you so jealous…?

[21:06] Yoongi: Come over

The notification of Yoongi’s message popped up on your screen like a sign from above. You really wanted to come over, but you need to toy with him was even bigger. Plus, you were a bit irritated by scrolling through all those girls’ Instagram accounts, so no way in hell were you going to give in that easily.

[21:07] y/n: why would I head over to your house at this hour? It’s so dark out.

[21:07] Yoongi: you’re right

[21:08] Yoongi: on my way

Wait, what?!

Was he…really planning to come over? His text made you jump out of your seat and head as quickly as possible to the bathroom for a quick shower. You were all sweaty and stinky from work, no way that you could let him see or smell you like this. It took you an impressive 15 minutes to get ready, almost a new record. So there you were, casually sitting on your couch, acting as if you were not expecting anyone to ring the doorbell anytime soon.

Ding dong

An instantaneous smile formed on your lips, slapping yourself on the face to get rid of it as you jumped out of your seat. You gave yourself a last glance at the TV reflection, just to make sure you looked presentable. You fixed your hair and opened the front door, revealing a handsome-looking Yoongi, per usual. “Hi Yoon-” But the sudden feeling of his lips on yours interrupted your greeting. 

He gently pushed you inside, closing the door behind him. “You’re such a tease.” He whispered in between kisses. His touch was gentle as if he was savouring every taste, this time not planning on another night of just talking. He deepened the kiss, his tongue gently teasing the seam of your lips, seeking entrance. No time could be wasted as your desires had been suppressed by your cowardness last night. You needed him now. You led Yoongi to your bedroom, a trail of stumbling over one another as you just couldn’t keep your lips off of each other. It became apparent neither of you were planning to take it slow by the way you were tucking on each other’s clothing, desperate to take them off this instant. In a swift motion, Yoongi took off your shirt, making him smirk at the sight of those familiar black-laced panties. He pushed you onto the bed before taking off his shirt as well, revealing his lean body and you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second. Your eyes travelled from his face to his neck, chest, and abs until they stopped as his ever-growing erection that was desperately waiting to be released from his jeans. He noticed your staring, making him say. “This is all yours.”

He hovered over you, pushing you further on the bed as his lips followed yours. “My girl got needy for my cock, huh?” 

“Just a cock, to be honest.” You were really not into the whole ‘I’m going to stroke his ego even further’, not because you didn’t want to necessarily, but because you were a whore for him putting you in your place.

“You say that, but I bet you only sent that picture to me, didn’t you?” You were quiet, which made your answer all too obvious. “That’s what I thought.” Yoongi pulled back for a second, taking his time to admire your body which he can’t seem to get enough of. The way the lingerie complimented your curves, looking too pretty to take off. “You never feel to amaze me, damn-” You felt your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment, making him smirk out of satisfaction. “Getting shy, huh? That’s how I know my girl.” He whispered in a husky tone before his lips met your neck. 

Yoongi’s lips on your neck made you shiver, holding onto his shoulders for support. “No hickeys please, I have to work tomorrow.”

His hands travelled towards your core, gently rubbing against the already wet cloth in a teasing manner. “I’ll try.” He said before kissing you again, feeling him smirk against your lips. “I’m almost flattered how worked up you get from me.” He moved the slip of your panty to the side, his fingers finding their way to your soaked entrance. He glided his middle finger between your folds, using your own wetness as lubrication as he gently applied pressure on your sweet spot. A small whimper left your lips as your hands tightened themselves around Yoongi’s upper arms, making you realize how buffed he had gotten over the years. His middle and index finger hugged around your clit, slowly and teasingly circling around it, making it hard for you not to slip out a few moans. While your eyes were closed as you felt yourself getting lost in the pleasure, Yoongi's, however, were fixed on you as if he were studying you. Adjusting his every move by the way you reacted to it, unconsciously remembering how you like it. The way his hardness was pressed against his jeans made it almost seem like it was going to tear any second now, but how couldn’t he? Seeing you desperate for his touch was one of his biggest turn-ons, but there was one small thing leaving him not fully satisfied. “You can be louder than that.” Yoongi whispered in your ear, the tone of his voice low with a slight rasp. “I want to hear you.”

“I have thin walls.” You let out, gasping for air due to you covering your mouth to keep yourself down.

“Namjoon will not care.” Yoongi purred as he increased his pace, making it even harder for you to control yourself. He knew your neighbour and mutual friend liked to mess around himself, but that wasn’t the problem…  

“Jungkook’s visiting him.” You said without thinking twice., almost regretting it instantly after those words spilled from your mouth.

“Uhu.” He said sternly, removing his hand from your precious core as the air was getting filled with anticipation. “In that case.” Yoongi unbuckled his belt, pulling it off his waist in a swift motion. “Give me your hands.” Without putting much thought behind it, you did as you were told as you held your hands in front of you. With a firm grip, Yoongi grabbed your wrists and started wrapping his belt around it, tying your hands to the headboard of your bed. Oh no…His fingertips were brushing down at the side of your legs, finding his way back to your most intimate area, carefully sliding down your panties. He felt empowered by your arousal, your cunt glistening from excitement. His lips followed suit, leaving a trail of heated kisses along your thighs before his tongue traced the slit of your hole. A small quiver left your lips as he pressed just the right amount of pressure on your clit, followed by short flicks. The world around you faded away as Yoongi focused solely on your pleasure, and you could tell he was trying to make a point by touching you with slow and teasing movements, making it hard for you not to whine out of sheer desperation. 

“Yoongi, please-” You softly moaned, feeling rather unsatisfied by the minimum fulfillment he was giving you. Yoongi, however, did not make a sound as he continued teasing you. Every time you expected him to apply more pressure or increase the pace, he pulled his tongue back, and it almost felt as if you could feel his smirk against you. Due to Yoongi’s solution to make you unable to muffle your moans, the silence of the room was getting filled by your desperation. A whimper, a moan, and eventually a cuss in a mixture of Yoongi’s name slipped your lips. “Fuck-” The pleasure intensified, building an undeniable tension that hung in the air, aching to be released. Slow but surely, Yoongi did give in to your needs, making you want to grab onto the bed sheets but being unable to. The way his tongue rolled on your sensitive nub, not only added to your pleasure but made his even more desperate. You became a moaning frustrated mess, every flick of Yoongi’s tongue feeling like a tease. “Just make me come, please-” You cried, hopelessly waiting for your sweet release. “Please-” Tears from desperation rolled down your face in a mix with your mascara, a sight Yoongi loved to see. 

Yoongi sat back up straight, wiping your wetness from his underlip. He looked at you with full earnestness, smirking at the state of your body out of amusement, a hint of sadism in his eyes. “Beg for it, tell me how much you want it.” He said in full seriousness, his eyes shimmering with pure lust and desire. His fingers were tracing the entrance from your folds, gently applying pleasure at the most sacred part. “Loud enough for me to hear it.” He smirked again.

“Yoongi-ah-“ He took your clit between his fingers again, using a quick circular motion to receive a reaction from you. “Please, please, please-” smirking at the tears mixed with your mascara rolling down your face. “I need you to make me come. You can do whatever you want with me, but just make me come.” With every move, you felt yourself growing closer, letting out another loud whine as he abruptly removed his fingers from you. You watched Yoongi lick his fingers as if you were a delicacy before he started unzipping his jeans for his own comfort. “Yoongi-” You called, rubbing your legs together to feel some sort of release.

After Yoongi took his jeans off, his boxers were the only thing away from revealing himself. “I know baby, I know.” He placed his hands on your thighs again, spreading your legs again, preventing you from continuing to self-pleasure yourself. “Does my girl want to cum?” Yoongi’s fingers softly caressed your slit, driving you even more horny and insane. A moan that sounded like a yes left your lips. “Hmh?” He teased as his fingers left again.

Feeling the absence of Yoongi’s touch was what drove you to sheer and utter desperation. “My fucking god-yes! Please, Yoongi, let me cum. I need you so badly right now.” You cried, more tears leaving your eyes. The louder your pleads got, the more satisfied he was. “Yoongi please-” 

Yoongi let out an amused chuckle. “Look how desperate you are for me. What would your friends think if they heard you like this? Especially the neighbours.” He said, sure to emphasize that last part.

“I don’t care anymore, I just need you.”

“Good.” Yoongi placed your legs on his shoulders, keeping your thighs in a steady distance, his grip making it unable for you to move. His tongue tracing, what felt like love letters, on your aching clit, every flick driving you closer to your orgasm. After all that teasing, it didn’t take long for you to get there, feeling the knot in your lower body growing stronger. 

“Yes, yes, oh my fuck-yes!” With an arched back and trembling legs, you finally reached your long-postponed climax, which was more intense than your body seemed to handle. And it felt as if you could feel it until the tips of your fingers, leaving your body in exhaustion. “Fuck Yoongi-“ You heavily panted, feeling his tongue still on your clit. “I’m too sensitive.” You whimpered, making him pull away.

“Awe, are you now?” He said with fake pity.

“Uhu.” You pleaded.

“Was it a bit too intense for my girl?” He asked, making you hum another ‘uhu’. “Poor thing.” He leaned in to kiss you, feeling his hand going near your back to take your bra off. “I want to see all of you.”

As you were catching your breath, heavily panting, you watched him take his briefs off which were covered in precum. “You’re doing so good, baby. Do you want the rest?” Was Yoongi’s way of asking for further consent, giving his dick a few slow strokes as he looked at you. You eagerly nodded your head, making him grin. “Of course you do.” Before he fully entered you, he traced the slit of your entrance with the tip of his dick, teasing himself before he slowly pushed himself inside of you. A drawn-out moan left his lips by the way your walls tightly hugged around him, a soft cuss slipping in between. He slowly and slightly pulled out of you, his cock glistening with the coat of your fluids around him. “I’ve missed you.” He groaned before thrusting in and out of you again. He was going rather slow as if he was savouring every thrust. “My pretty girl.” His hands were on your thighs, keeping your legs up for maximum access. You wanted to hold onto him, digging your nails into his back as your personal mark on him, but his personal handcuffs made that not an option. His thumb found your clit again, making your walls clench around him as he wanted to make you cum again. “Shit-” 

“I want to touch you, please Yoongi.” You pleaded as you were tucking on your personal prison. 

Heavy breaths left Yoongi’s lips. “Hmh, do you know?” He teased, that menacing smirk plastered on his face again. He slowly slid himself fully into you and you were pretty sure you could feel his tip touching the entrance of your cervix. “Shit-” After that, Yoongi increased his pace and you could already feel your legs shake. Hearing your moans as he filled you up was music to his ears. “And risking you covering your mouth again? No way. I want to hear my girl.” You wanted to tell him you’ll be a good girl and won’t do that, but he upped the pace again, making it hard for you to speak in general. Your tits were bouncing heavily on your chest, which was a beautiful sight to see for Yoongi. He quickly combed his hand through his hair, preventing his hair from blocking the sight he had in front of him. Sweat drops were forming on his forehead, making his hair damp but, fuck, did he look hot right now. Even though Yoongi was mostly focused on his pleasure as he thrust in and out of you, he made sure not to forget about you by the way his thumb was rubbing against your clit, feeling your walls clench around him as you were getting closer to your climax. Your moans were only getting louder, and in the back of your head, you knew you were going to have to explain yourself to your neighbour and friend tomorrow. “I want to feel you cum around my dick.” Yoongi groaned, his rasp indicating he was almost there. He slowed down the pace, focusing more on his finger work so you would get another round of pleasure.

“Oh god-“ You moaned as you felt another wave of ecstasy waiting for you. “Yes, yes-“ It felt as if his thumb was vibrating against your clit, your mind not fully comprehending how the fuck he did that. “I’m gonna-” But instead of the words, the loud moan that left your lips and the way your walls clenched around him, made it clear you reached your peak, making Yoongi increase his paste of fucking you.

The mixture of his postponed climax as protection of his ego and the sounds you were making, made him only seconds away of coming undone. To your surprise, he slid himself out of you, stroking himself down until you felt his cum on you, painting your whole body with it. A loud groan left his throat, head thrown back in pleasure. He stopped jerking himself off, taking a few deep breaths before looking back at you, staring like you were a masterwork. “My favourite looks so beautiful.” He smirked, kissing you softly before untying you. Your wrist hurt from the tightness of his belt, but for some reason, you really didn’t seem to mind. “Let me clean you up first.” Before Yoongi got up to go to the bathroom, he gave you one last kiss on the lips, taking his time before parting lips. You watch him leave the room, quickly finding his way to your bathroom as if he has been here before. You couldn’t sit up straight without making a mess since, yeah, you were covered in cum. It was almost impressive. Yoongi quickly came back, placing himself between your legs again for easy access. He was holding a wet towel, and when he was wiping away his hard work, you noticed he made it lukewarm just for your comfort. As he got you clean again, he leaned in to kiss you again, kissing your neck before kissing your lips. He gently cupped your face in the palm of his hand, looking at you with those beautiful brown eyes as he parted his lips with yours. “You did so good.” He whispered softly, his thumb slightly caressing your cheek. 

You placed your hand on his and for some reason, your heart felt heavy. “Please stay the night.” You said with pleading eyes, making Yoongi smile softly at you. 

“I had no intention of doing anything else.” He removed himself from the bed, grabbing his briefs again. “You want to wear my T-shirt?” He smiled as he put back his underwear, knowing how much you loved to sleep in them. You happily nodded, putting it on as soon as he handed it to you. Before Yoongi placed himself back next to you, he couldn’t help but notice the wall of pictures on one of y our bedroom walls. And the longer he started down that wall of pictures, the longer he kept staring at one photo in particular. “You still have that picture of us.”

You looked away from Yoongi for a second, even though you knew exactly what photo he was talking about. “Yeah, I do.” It was a selfie you had taken with him, back when the two of you were 17. You could tell you were young by the way you two looked. It just happened to be one of your favourite photos of all time. Not because of quality or how aesthetically pleasing the picture looked, but because it just locked many memories. The most beautiful memories with Yoongi to be exact. That’s when you reminisced about the time with him again. Him waiting after classes so he could walk home with you. He asked if he could do his homework at your place, even though you two did everything besides homework. And just the way he used to love you was so gentle and loving, nothing like he was now. You were his and his only. “It’s one of my favourites, actually.” You just felt a need to say that.

“One of your favourite pictures is one where I’m in the frame?” He teased as he got back in bed with you, pulling you by the waist to have you close to him. He didn’t ask because he thought you were weird for calling a photo with your ex ‘one of your favourites’, but rather out of reassurance that it really was your favourite, even though he was in it.

“Yes, it was before you were a dick” You chuckled, even though you didn’t really mean it. “I have a lot of good memories linked to you, you know. They’re not all bad.” You explained, the tone in your voice slightly saddening as memories and emotions of your breakup entered your head. “Besides, you were my favourite at some point, so it’s not that weird.” That’s when Yoongi’s words from before echoed through your head again. ‘My favourite looks beautiful’ Did he really mean that or was it just a heat of the moment kind of thing? 

It was one of the few moments where Yoongi was the one who seemed to want to say something but stayed quiet instead. He seemed…conflicted. There was a brief moment when he looked happy, but then a hint of sadness waved over it. You couldn’t read his emotions and it made you frustrated. “Likewise.” That was all he said, but you knew Yoongi well enough to know that there was more on his mind. 

When you woke up the next morning, a lack of a presence beside you made you wake up quicker than usual. After a few blinks, you noticed Yoongi wasn’t lying beside you. You felt your heartache, unknown why he wasn’t there. Your mind went to start thinking of the worst again, but before you could fully feel your heartbreak, you saw a little note on your bedside table. “Had an important meeting. Sorry, I couldn’t stay.” All your worries were suddenly washed over as you read the last sentence. “See you soon though :]” You felt like a teen again by the way you got so excited over a written note, making you put it in your drawer so you wouldn’t lose it. Besides Yoongi’s scent lingering throughout your apartment, you noticed an unfamiliar object lying neatly on your bedside table as well. And that’s when you realized…

Those were the panties you had lost at Hoseok’s party.

Rarely enough, you decided to have your lunch break with Jia. Usually, you would make some lame ass excuse as to why you couldn’t have your break together with her, avoiding any opportunity she could have to talk about Yoongi’s dick again. But today, you felt brave, agreeing you would eat together, making her ecstatic. “Please y/n?! You have to come!” Jia has been desperately trying to convince you to come clubbing with her for the last half hour or so. Guilt brews inside your gut as she’s unknown to the idea of Yoongi and you. How would she even react? She couldn’t be that mad since half of her friends have been sharing him. And the more you started to think about it, the more disturbed you were about that thought. “I bet you’ll love it.” 

You doubted that. You enjoyed going home after a long work shift, but she does seem very persistent. Maybe you should go. “Alright…you convinced me.” 

“Ugh, finally! You’ll have a great time, I promise! You can even bring your boo Jungkook” She teased before taking a big bite of your lunch, continuing to speak with a full mouth after that.

“Don’t say that-“

“If you don’t want him I sure wouldn’t mind taking a bite of that”

Jesus.

“I’ll ask him.” You smiled, making Jia hug you out of sheer happiness. You felt bad again. You knew Jia liked you, but all you could think about was Yoongi doing the things he did with you yesterday with her. It made you grow resentful towards her, even though she didn’t do anything wrong. You thought maybe, tomorrow, you wouldn’t feel like that anymore. You could see her in another light if it was just you and her and maybe some of her friends. Those friends who probably have had sex with Yoongi too though…No! You were not going to think like this! No man was going to ruin the beautiful opportunity of two women becoming friends. Especially a fuckboy like Yoongi. For a short while you thought you were above casual hookups, but lately you’ve been taking that thought into question.

Before your break was over, you texted the idea to Jungkook, hoping he’d say yes because no way were you going to survive that night without a familiar face. To your surprise, Jungkook wasn’t against the idea of clubbing with you after you texted him. On the contrary, he seemed to be really excited about it, telling you he has always wanted to do something like that with you. This makes you think there must be some underlying motivation for his answer.

Or maybe you were just overthinking it?

Taglist; @flowerblu00, @brinda-9, @seokjinkismet, @sugainmybowl, @mxxxnshine @arianalilyblack

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts imagine #bts fic #bts scenario #yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi smut #bts smut #dom!yoongi #fuckboy!yoongi #badboy!yoongi #playboy!yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi scenario #yoongi angst #bts x reader #smut #angst #bts series #yoongi series #suga #bts suga #suga fanfic #suga fanfiction #suga smut

[maggiedanikka]

Been Here Along (Preview)

Summary: Why are you so good at helping your best friend with his relationship problems? Probably because you've been doing it your entire life. Unrequited love is a bitch, especially if it has spanned several decades. Maybe he'll come to his senses, or maybe its time to give someone else a chance.

Warnings: Angst (but do you really expect anything else from me?), cursing

Length: 1.4k

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x F!Reader, Jake "Hangman" Seresin x F!reader

A/N: The summer is here and for the first time in 4 years I am not studying or working so you better bet my days will be empty and just for writing. This is one of two things I currently have in the works. This one specifically is looking like a one-shot (or two-three shot). The other one is looking like a series, and hopefully I can post the first part in the near future. But here is the preview of been here all along, let me know if you're intrigued and want more <3

“I don’t understand women.” Rooster says with a sigh, plopping himself down on the bar stool next to you. 

You and Phoenix, who was sitting on the stool to the other side of you share a look of light amusement before turning back to the mustached aviator. 

“It’s like they say one thing, and then mean another? Why can’t women be normal?” He groaned into the counter. 

“What do you mean by that Bradshaw?” Phoenix narrowed her eyes at her friend.

You inwardly chuckled before joining Nat in her joking disapproval. 

“Yeah, are you saying women aren’t normal? In our day in age of 2023,you, Bradley Bradshaw have the audacity to say something so misogynistic in the presence of women!”

“You know I always saw you as a friend, but this interaction has me questioning the entire foundation of our friendship.” 

You and Nat were struggling to keep your laughter down as Rooster continued to groan into the counter. 

“Introducing you two to one another has been one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had.” Rooster grumbled as he finally picked his head up from the bar counter. 

“Phoenix is my fucking soulmate, we would’ve been best friends with or without you.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

“I thought I was your best friend.” He pouted. 

“You’re my oldest friend, there's a difference.” You told him teasingly. 

“Sucks to suck Bradshaw, I’m just way cooler than you.” Phoenix poked fun at her fellow pilot. 

“I can’t believe you’re laughing at my misery, you used to love to fix my problems.” He muttered. 

“Okay okay, I’m done. What’s up Roost?” You chuckled, flashing him a concerned smile. 

“It's Abi.” 

“And that's my cue.” Phoenix hopped off her bar stool. 

“It’s time for me to kick Hangman’s ass at pool again.” She announced as she walked towards the other pilots.

“Why does she do that?” Rooster asked as she walked off.

You shrugged in response.

This was a common occurrence, Phoenix often leaves whenever Rooster starts talking about his girlfriend. She seems to do this whenever any of the guys talk about their relationships. Phoenix was very much a free bird and had no interest in the little details of people’s love lives. Even though everyone can definitely see the little flirtation she has going on with Coyote. 

“So what's wrong with Abi?” You asked, turning your body to face Rooster. 

“She’s pissed at me.”

“Again?”

Abigail was a bartender that Rooster met at a bar in the city on a night that the group decided to venture away from the Hard Deck for a change. She was on the younger side, well younger compared to the dagger squad and of course Rooster.

But she was sweet and kind and beautiful and caught Rooster’s eye that fateful night. From there they had a bit of whirlwind romance. They were together every single night and there was a good stretch of time where your group of pilots didn’t see Rooster outside of work.

Can you really blame him though? Abi was the ghost of Grace Kelly, all delicate features with light green eyes that draw you in. 

She had the sweetest voice and the personality to match. You’ve never met anyone who is as beautiful on the inside as they were on the outside. 

Her and Rooster seemed perfect…if you were an outsider.

“What did you do?” 

“I have no clue! She knows that tomorrow is my only day off for a while and I needed to blow off some steam and get a drink tonight.” 

“Okay..?”

“Then a few minutes ago, she called me asking where I was and I told her that I’m here doing exactly what I told her I was gonna do.”

“she asked why not grab a drink at her bar. And I told her that it’s too far and the guys hate it there.”

“Then she got pissed.”

It made sense now, Abi and Rooster hadn’t been together for a long time and their issues only really started as little tiffs, a few arguments here and there, but the past few weeks have been pretty rough, especially for a newer relationship. 

You suppose it has something to do with the longer hours at work. This new TOPGUN class was definitely harrowing to the crew and there was also having to be prepped for any incoming mission. 

“Brad, you’re an idiot.” 

“Hey! I thought you were gonna help me!”

“I am!”

“think about it…. what was the last thing she got mad about?”

“When I slept through our planned date because of the long hours….oh”

Realization finally replaced the confused look on his face. 

“She thought because I have a day off..”

“Keep going Roost, you’re almost there.”

“That I would spend the night with her.” He finished.

“Ding, ding, Ding! We have a winner folks!” You stood up dramatically announcing with a game show host voice. 

You held an invisible microphone up to your lips. 

“Attention folks! It was a toss-up there for a second. But I am proud to announce the winner of “Why is your girlfriend mad?”... BRADLEY “ROOSTER” BRADSHAW!!”

Your gaggle of pilots cheered from the other side of the bar, whooping and hollering at your bit, receiving raised eyebrows from the other patrons but mostly indifference as they have grown accustomed to your regular hijinks. 

“Congratulations sir, any words from the winner?”

You held an invisible mic to to his face, Rooster leaning into the imaginary mic. 

“Hello yes I would like to thank my parents, my uncle, the bartenders, my fellow pilots, and this beer from the tap, all of which have contributed to my cluelessness towards women. WIthout you all I would not be here.” 

“No thank you for me?” You raised an eyebrow. 

Rooster chuckled at your antics as you sat back down on your bar stool. 

“So what am I supposed to do?” 

“Bradley please don’t make me spell it out for you. Its right there.” 

You pointed your eyes at the phone sitting in his pocket. 

“Oh, okay. I should call!”

“Yesssss and do what???.” 

“Apologize?” 

“You got it! Finally I was getting tired over here. Hosting this game show is hard work.” You whistled wiping a fake sweat off your forehead. 

“Thanks, woods!” He exclaimed as he quickly stood up and made his way out to the back deck to call Abi. 

You watched his retreating figure enter the darkness of the night as you sighed into the back of your hand propped up by your elbow on the bar. 

“So are you some kind of masochist?” 

You quickly jumped, surprised at the sudden presence coming from the bar stool that was occupied by Phoenix several minutes ago. 

“God Bagman, please refrain from giving the host a heart attack.” 

He chuckled at your reaction. 

“Game show host huh? Bit of the week?”

“More like the night, I’m gonna workshop a few things before I make my final decision.”

“Is that so?”

“Gotta keep y’all dorks entertained somehow.” You shrugged. 

“That you do Woods.” 

“So what do you mean about me being a masochist?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“That” He pointed at Bradley on the back porch passionately talking into the phone, you couldn’t tell if it was a negative or positive emotion but it looked intense. 

But despite that he looked radiant against the light that emanated from the full moon tonight. He never failed to take your breath away. 

“What about Rooster?” You turned back to Hangman. 

“Come on dollface, I’m not blind.”

“You know Bagman, I’m surprised you’re capable of seeing things outside of your personal radius.” 

“See? If even I can see it then that tells you how obvious this little crush is.” 

His statement left your mouth hanging open. 

“I.. I can’t believe you-- how dare.” 

He kept an amused smirk as you stumble over your words. 

“You know you only make it harder on yourself when you fix his relationship problems for him.”

“I don’t-” 

He cut you off with a chuckle as he turned away back to the direction of the pool tables.

“Its okay Woods, i get it, just make sure you know what you’re doing.” 

He left with you that last piece of advice as he walked away. 

As much as you denied it. Hangman was right. You probably have loved Bradley your whole life.

Will be creating a new taglist for this work :)

#top gun #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun maverick #hangman x reader #jake seresin #hangman #rooster x reader #jake seresin x reader

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here's my September 2023 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. Enjoy!

Save Me (From Myself) by imogenlee / @imogenleewriter (159k)

The problem with being friends with Liam Payne was that he had a lot of friends... and forced them to be around each other. When they finished high school, both Louis and Harry were equally relieved that they wouldn't have to tolerate each other constantly or whatever it was that they did.

For five years, it worked out perfectly. They'd only had to see each other a handful of times.

Unfortunately, Liam had to go and get engaged, ask them to both be groomsmen, and then go full groomzilla on their arses. With just twelve weeks to plan the 'perfect' destination wedding and throw every ridiculous pre-wedding celebration Liam and his fiancée stumble across, it was safe to say they were firmly back in each other's lives.

And no one could have predicted that was exactly what they needed.

We Are Only Just the Beginning by afirecannotdie (129k)

In the dim light of a dorm kitchen, Harry Styles meets a boy who flips his life upside down. Three years later, he's a senior in college, ready to take on the world with the love of his life by his side. And then Louis Tomlinson admits he doesn't know what he wants to do after college after all, and Harry's world flips again, this time not so pleasantly. He can't imagine his life without Louis, but he's starting to worry he might have to.

A college AU featuring lots of domestic sappiness, waffles, tattoos, late nights and early mornings, and above all, Louis and Harry against the world.

Been Together Since Way Back When by alivingfire / @alivingfire (95k)

Louis Tomlinson is a law student with a simple but effective four step plan: 1. Finish law school. 2. Get hired somewhere awesome. 3. Marry his best friend and boyfriend of two years, Harry. 4. Live happily ever after.

Harry Styles doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, where he wants to go, who he wants to be, or if he even wants the college degree he's almost completed. All he does know is who he’ll be with forever, as long as Louis wants to keep him around.

Or: the painfully realistic college au where everyone's poor, lovesick, tired of school, terrified of the future, and still having the greatest times of their lives.

Such Good Luck by casuallyhl / @casuallyhl (66k)

Louis smiles at Harry’s words, leaning into his touch. “Tell me again.”

Smiling, Harry takes Louis into his arms. Pressing gentle kisses to his face, Harry murmurs, “In six months’ time, I will have my twenty-fifth birthday. On that day, my portion of the inheritance will become legally mine. And I plan that very day to announce to my family that I have found love.” Harry chuckles as he runs his lips lightly along Louis’ cheekbone. “That, in fact, I found love when I was twenty-one years old, and that I have loved and been loved every day since.”

Or, an Edwardian AU where Harry is a young aristocratic lord and Louis is a working class dairy farmer. Secrets are a necessary part of their relationship, but Louis has one that could topple their whole world.

I'll Crash Until You Notice Me by stylinsoncity / @stylinsoncity

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he's been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn't expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

You Were In My Dream by staybeautiful / @harruandlou (59k)

“I had a sex dream about Harry.” Louis slapped his free hand over his mouth after the words slipped out.

Zayn paused, his hand freezing as he was about to take a bite, his head snapping up to look at Louis. Louis could relate, it’s how he’d felt that morning after he’d woken up. He’d laid in bed for fifteen minutes trying to figure out what had happened, why it had turned him on so much, and then patiently waiting for his erection to go down.

“Like… my Niall’s Harry? Harry Styles?” Zayn clarified, his face bewildered as if trying to comprehend what had just happened. “Do you even like Harry?”

“His last name is Styles?”

or Louis woke up after having a sexy dream about his best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend resolved to never think about it again. He hardly knew Harry, so what difference would it make? But when they are thrown together only a few days later, Louis had to admit, his subconscious might have been onto something.

Lost In the Silver Sea by you_explode / @nobodymoves (42k)

Harry’s felt powerless for so long now. They took away his voice last year and it feels like every day they somehow take away more of it. It feels impossible to ever get some power back, to ever speak. Every day he feels more like a puppet, like a marionette, a ventriloquist’s dummy. Like the price he has to pay to live his dream is to sacrifice his voice, his own self, and become a shell of whoever they want him to be.

But he has Louis. Thank god he has Louis.

*

Non-AU. From MSG 2012 to MSG 2018; or, Harry and Louis keep having their voices silenced, and they keep finding ways to speak.

Player by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom (28k)

Louis’ job should be simple. Harry Styles, one of the top ranking tennis players in the world, is every publicist's perfect client. He’s charismatic, enigmatic, and fit as fuck. The darling of the media, a national treasure, and a sponsor's wet dream. He’s also a goofball with the kindest heart, sweet, and polite, and singularly focused on achieving his goals.

There are just two minor problems. Firstly, Louis' debilitating crush on said client. And secondly, Harry has just accidentally Instagrammed a picture of his dick to his 18 million followers. So no, Louis’ job is anything but simple.

OR the one where Louis is Harry’s highly strung publicist and has a thing for his client, Harry is an international sports star and has a thing for his publicist, Liam and Zayn have a thing for each other, and Niall wishes everyone would just get their shit together.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #larry fic rec #2023 fic rec #tracking happily #hlcreators #trackinghome #1dficvillage #monthly fic rec #read

[ririya-translates]

Miguel

In June 2023, Ishida posted a short story about Miguel from the Jack Jeanne winter play for Fumi's birthday. The original post includes a drawing and a music link to listen to as you read. I'm still just an amateur, but I did my best to translate it to English. I also tried to maintain the poetic Twitter short story structure as much as possible. (Note that this has both plot and character spoilers about the winter play)

Miguel, as a child on the prosperous Neshiromi Farm, Lived happily outside of Havenna.

Sowing seeds in hot summers and passing time through cold winters, Bore plentiful good fruit.

2. Neshiromi fruit, with its long-protected cultivation traditions, Boasted a mellow fragrance and refreshing sweetness. When trading with merchants from the northern cities, it would sell out in less than a few days.

3. Miguel loved his work. In the village, life was too busy to even notice boredom But, in this quiet life, nothing felt missing.

One day he would inherit the family business, And be joined in marriage to the house of a daughter of a respectable family friend. It would then be his turn to pass the ancestors' traditions on to his descendants.

There was no conceivable path other than this.

4. The battle in the north continued into its 47th winter. Shadows of the flames of war extended towards Miguel's village.

Soldiers armed with bayonets arrived. The crop fields were devastated to shreds. His father, mother, and even his grandmother with a long-time leg injury, were all killed. The house was set aflame.

In the village, the ones being utterly crushed underfoot in the inferno and the screaming, Miguel turned his back on them, and fled alone.

5. He was headed for Havenna.

In that city whose name he once heard, The pleasure and the numbness, was said to make one forget everything. For Miguel, this was necessary.

He could only keep walking.

There was absolutely nothing but ruined land and yet, Like a fool, he continued

6. Upon reaching Havenna, Miguel started work in a room of the night.

As he had nothing, his only option was to sell himself.

Every night, he filled the loneliness of random strangers. As the days added up, he sensed a growing thirst inside.

In the overwhelm of his own misery, whenever he was alone, He remembered life in his hometown and cried often.

7. He wanted support from someone but, Fleeing the village alone made him ashamed of himself. Even to close friends, he was unable to open his heart.

By going to these lengths simply to gather money, He felt as if he was becoming defiled.

Gradually, this grew into a sense of punishment for his sins. He thought instead that he deserved to become defiled.

8. At this same time, a woman in a similar line of work Became friends with him. She was a liar. It was carefree and easy.

When they had free time, they would purchase it from each other. It supported him living in Havenna, however; He thought they would never be truly close.

He liked her, but all possible paths seemed to lead to ruin, So he was afraid.

9. At one point, he fell in love with his friend's friend. Despite being in Havenna, she was inexperienced and pretty.

10. Rukiora. "Farewell to the night" He thought the name quite strange, but it seemed to be her real name.

His heart was stolen by her clear singing voice. He could never say it, but he wanted her all to himself he tho-….

11. Rukiora always dreamt of a future outside of Havenna.

Outside of Havenna was beautiful, it was fun. Everything would happily exist out there for certain.

He wanted to tell her for her sake. Someday she would know the truth and he wanted to keep her from being hurt.

12. "You're wrong, Rukiora. The outside is wasteland as far as the eye can see. The rice paddies, the fields, they aren't there. I know this. It's where I came from."

13. (Neji's note/ Miguel leaves Havenna. On his departure, he tells Rukiora one final lie. He returns to his homeland and begins sowing seeds.)

[Note: Ishida says that these are his personal ideas so they aren't considered proper canon without Towada as they both created the game closely together. Towada retweeted the thread.

I also wanted to acknowledge a Japanese friend (who asked to stay anonymous) for their help.]

#jack jeanne #otome #sui ishida #translation #jjwinterplay

[marshmallowprotection]

Choi Twins 2023 Birthday Analysis

Would you believe me if I said that I don’t have much to say this time because the details are always too obvious to spend hours trying to figure out what the little details are? I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t trying to figure them out, though... Anyway! Here we go, let’s talk about it!

So, Cheritz already gave away what’s happening in this picture. It isn’t much of a surprise to me because the theme this year is everyone as children. Which, that frightened me the very second we started on Yoosung’s birthday given just how many of our friends were neglected as children. They gave us one of the happier moments in Zen’s childhood, but we, the fans, know that Saeran and Saeyoung spent their childhood in shackles.

I’ve been speculating for months how they’d even handle this. Some of the hard questions I had to ask myself were: What if they have no choice but to draw the two of them apart? What if Saeyoung is in college and Saeran is in the church in this photo? What if it’s like the 2019 split screen? I didn’t think they’d go as far as to show Saeyoung in the field and Saeran in Mint Eye because they’d be older in their years and beyond what we’d consider their young childhood.

So, Cheritz choosing to show one of the only positive days from their childhood was probably for the best. I can’t tell y’all how scared I was we were going to get a photo of them sitting together in their childhood home with a smuggled piece of cake and a single candle. I mean, it’d be touching to think that Saeyoung would want Saeran to have a good birthday moment, but I don’t think anyone could’ve handled that theme.

“Secret Outings” is all you need to hear to connect the dots on this image. It’s a moment where their mother passed out and there’s a small window to get some ice cream, look at the clouds, or feel like they might just escape a living hell one of these days. I think the relief I have over this only comes from the fact that the Twitter Event will have the boys trying to find the good in the bad, and enjoying the realization that their present can be whatever they want it to be and they’re free.

I pray whatever image they’ve got cooked up on Twitter won’t kill me. If it’s the boys are kids trying to enjoy ice cream, I am going to full on cry for a week and i won’t be okay. They always add an image to the Twitter threads so there is really no telling what it’s going to be. It might be a single photo, or there might be two of them and I don’t know what’s worse. The thought of the boys together on the fleeting summer day of freedom... or them apart, celebrating as young boys who miss each other dearly.

Anyway! As you can see, my speculation is more or less taken care of. I know a few things about this photo. The boys are likely outside somewhere because the hard light that’s on Saeyoung’s head implies he is either directly in the line of the sun or he’s standing by a window where the sun is on him. It makes more sense to me that he’s outside from the harshness of the light. I can’t write off either for this situation, but there’s only so much I can dissect from the small window they gave us.

This could be inside OR outside. It’s a window but I can’t tell if they’re inside of a building or not. I would hope not, if only because the angle here seems like it’s... an outside view of a window. I don’t know for sure. I definitely can’t tell from the other half of the image. There are a lot of whites and blues in this photo... and I can tell y’all from experience over the years that anything that’s a light color isn’t going to reveal anything to you whatsoever.

It makes finding Zen and Saeran so much harder than it needs to be... literally. I’ve cried in group photos because if Zen and Saeran are there... it means I’ve got a chance of not only losing them to the background details, but I’ve got the worst chance in the world of screwing up which is which.

Speaking of that, a lot of people have been saying online, “Why is that hair so white?” Again, I’ll give you the answer to that, Saeyoung’s hair looks white due to the hard light that’s hitting him. It’s not Saeran. It’s not a photo of the boys as babies with the wrong hair color like they did with Children’s Day last year. This is just the way light theory acts out.

The Children’s Day photo was done just for the sake of keeping spoilers out and away from the front and center for fans who don’t know everything there is to be aware of at this point, and for the sake of consistency.

They don’t want to draw everyone drastically different from the way they are in the present. That’s why Yoosung, Jaehee, and Saeran don’t look like how they actually would.

Hard light brightens anything it touches. It’s called hard light for a reason, and if you work with photography or digital art, you’d have discovered this a long time ago when you were just starting out. Here’s an example of a basic hard light I’ve done on a photo of Saeyoung just to give y’all something to look at to clear up a round of confusion. You can see right off the bat that it makes him look bright to the eye. His colors are extra saturated and feel garish if you look at him for way too long.

See how his highlights become whiter? Yeah. That’s the same thing that’s going on in this photo. I hope that clears that problem up for anyone since I’ve seen it a lot since the preview was posted last night and I don’t know if anyone’s had a chance to explain how light works in photos.

So, all and all, I think what’s happening in this photo is simple. Saeran is nervous about being outside for too long and Saeyoung is trying to reassure him that the world can’t hurt them as long as they’re together. Which, in hindsight, it hurts so much to think about them having conversations like that and knowing what’s the next step in their lives while they’re none the wiser to it. Saeyoung is the brother who would do anything to see Saeran smile, and Saeran is the brother who has no choice but to cling to Saeyoung and pray for the best.

Saeyoung is wearing a black shirt or jacket. Saeran is wearing a hoodie that’s a few sizes too big for him. Whatever they have are things that Saeyoung got from a donation bin. I don’t think anyone here believes that Mother Choi would care enough to make sure they boys have something on their back. She gives them the bare minimum so she can afford to wet her lips with alcohol. As long as the two of them aren’t dead, that works for her. They don’t need anything but that in her eyes.

This is the first time we’ve seen baby Saeran drawn in something that isn’t the white button-down or the green shirt he wears in the flashback to the cathedral and the Special Believer package. It might be the first time Saeyoung has been drawn in something other than his black hoodie, too. I just don’t know if this one has sleeves? The color is too light on his arms to have sleeves!

It’s a notable detail to me because I would never imagine the boys wearing any clothes that make it easier to tell how small and malnourished they are. I know they’ve got bruises, too. Saeyoung and Saeran would definitely make a point of wearing clothes that cover everything up. They don’t want to attract attention to them. Their father could be anywhere... his men could be just around the corner. Their hair is enough of a dead-giveaway. They don’t need to make it obvious to anyone.

Anyway, I’m excited for the twin’s birthday and I can’t wait to see them. Boys, I love you so very much. You’ve been a part of my life since 2016 and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for you. That’s why I’m happy this year that the theme is everyone as children. They all survived and made it a place in this world where they had each other as family. The RFA is a found family and I am happy to be a part of it. I know we all suffered, but we have each other now in every sense of the word. They’re my family.

I survived, they survived, and I’m happy to say that you’ll get through whatever you’re going through, too. Our past is a part of us, yes, but it doesn’t control our future. That’s what I hope to see when the boys take to Twitter and recount their history. What we’ve survived may always be with us... but, our future can be the place we want it to be as long as we’re ready for it... and I think, Saeyoung and Saeran are ready to tackle the present and the future. I’d like to think we all are after seven years of being a family.

#character analysis #mystic messenger #mysme #mm #mysticmessenger #mod kait #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #luciel choi #choi luciel #seven #707 #saeran choi #choi saeran #saeran #mystic messenger saeran #mysme saeran #mm saeran #mm seven #mysme seven #mystic messenger seven #seven mystic messenger #seven mm #seven mysme #saeran mm #saeran mysme #saeran mystic messenger

[eleni-cherie]

among thieves ✨ || bts • pjm

- epilogue

"what even am I to you? your rival, your lover, an obstacle or am I supposed to be your coffin?"

about two thieves who can't live with nor without each other. and a joint past that comes back to threaten them.

© 2023 | eleni_cherie

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, very flirty jimin, friends/rivals/exes to lovers (it's complicated, ok?!) f2l e2l ex2l all members play a role in this story!

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

several years later

Tainan, Taiwan

Jimin took a sip from his ice coffee and flipped a page in the book he was reading.

The evening sun was bathing the building in a warm shade, a comfortably mild summer atmosphere being created. Some children ran through the streets to get to the nearest park with lots of laughter and screams. Almost bumping into two women who were chatting while carrying their groceries.

He turned another page when sensing someone taking a seat on the free chair on the other side of his table. He didn't need to look up to know who it was though. The café being not overly crowded, and he had already seen him enter from the corner of his eye.

"You finally found me."

"Who said I ever lost track of you?"

Jimin perked up with a lopsided smirk, arching a brow at him. "What took you so long then?"

Seokjin laughed out, shaking his head. "Choosing a country that isn't an interpol member to settle down.. you knew what you were doing."

Closing the book on his lap, he took another sip from his coffee.

"Oh, is that so? I just came here for the nice weather," he said innocently, a small chuckle leaving his lips as he looked at his former antagonist. It felt strange somehow, having him simply sit there casually next to him without him trying to arrest him. Who would've thought a day like this would ever come. "And how comes you pay me a visit now?"

The older man shrugged, leaning back in his seat. "Been awhile since the last time I saw you, so I thought why not spending my vacation here?'"

Jimin nodded understanding and smiled at him. "And how've you been?"

He shrugged. "Oh, you know.. after you guys became inactive, it became quite boring."

"Aw."

"No, that wasn't a compliment."

"It sounded like one though."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Seokjin sighed, "But you know, it became boring and you know, I ain't getting younger either. So after I got married, I decided to take it easier and stepped down from the leader position. I focus more on paperwork now."

Jimin's eyes widened in shock as he straightened himself. Unable to imagine some random office sitter in the leader position. "And who's the leader in the theft divison now?"

"Blake."

"Oh!" he exclaimed and relaxed into his previous position, "I can see that. She always seemed eager to prove herself to you."

"And she did."

"Kinda sad for Jungkookie though, isn't it?"

"Nah," Seokjin waved at him, shaking his head, "He never was interested in that position. He still works there with her though."

Jimin couldn't keep himself from laughing at the thought of Skylar and Jungkook together and her giving him orders while he obeyed like a good subordinate. "You know, I always felt like the two were into each other and ever since I tried setting them up.."

A teasing grin spread on Seokjin's features. "Since when are you so invested in other people's love life?"

He only shrugged and dragged a dramatic sigh. "Can't help it, I'm such a romantic."

Seokjin laughed under his breath. "To be honest, I sometimes felt the same," he admitted then, "And I still think it whenever I catch them looking at each other. Perhaps it was their professionalism that kept them from going further."

"Or perhaps they're just dating in secret."

He perked up at this, seeing Jimin wiggling his brows at him. "You think so?"

"I might or might not have my sources."

The older man laughed out, nodding. "Well, good for them then."

"But wait!" Jimin exclaimed then, suddenly having processed something else. "You said you got married? To Yongsun?"

Seokjin's eyes widened, realising he had indeed mentioned it. He bit back a smile, confirming it again with a quick nod. "Yeah.."

"And I wasn't invited to the wedding?" Jimin faked offence to which Seokjin grinned.

"Figured you wouldn't have wanted to get arrested."

"True. But since you only met her thanks to me, I still think I deserved it."

"It surely wasn't thanks to you.."

"Now, don't be so unfair," Jimin pouted, "You wouldn't have been at that ship if I hadn't planned to steal the 'black star'." He was referring to the party a CEO of one of the biggest korean companies had thrown for his wife's birthday two years ago. And that wife had happened to own a very valuable black pearl, which she was wearing on a spray brooch and which the gang had been after. "So technically, I deserved an invitation."

Seokjin groaned in annoyance, getting tired of their quarrel. "You know what? I take it back. It's been great since you retired. I finally got some peace."

"Rude considering I practically introduced you to her."

"You didn't 'introduce' her to me!" Seokjin objected with a laugh, "You pushed her on me when I was running after you!"

"Still counts - you're married now, aren't you?" Jimin pointed out with a sly grin.

He wasn't able to disagree with that. So he gave up with an exhausted sigh.

"So?" Seokjin coughen then in hopes of changing topics and looked around. "And where's the rest?"

"Thought you had kept track on all of us."

"I did," he corrected, "But since interpol doesn't have any resources here, it wasn't too easy and there're some gaps."

Jimin hummed, stirring his coffee with the straw.. "Well, Taehyungie and his wife live nearby."

"You mean Cassandra?"

"Oh, you even got her name! Impressive!"

"Aish, stop with the sarcasm! Of course I know all your associates! I hunted you guys for years after all." Seokjin rolled his eyes before adding with a smirk, "And I was pretty good at it."

Jimin couldn't stop laughing, finding it always amusing how his opponent reacted when getting upset. "Never doubted your skills."

"So the two live nearby."

He nodded. "Yeah, she works at a hospital here."

"And Yoongi?"

"Right now, he's at one of the temples in the mountains. Meditating, training or whatever," Jimin snorted, drinking the last bit of coffee. He always found it quite lame whenever Yoongi got in one of his 'monk moods' - as Jimin called them - every few years and just disappeared for awhile to disconnect from everything. But perhaps he was just a little envious of that skill, since he himself could never do it. "But knowing him, he'll be back in the city in a few weeks."

Seokjin hummed. The corners of his lips shaping a cocky smile. "Needless to ask where Arabella ended up, right?"

"Right," a grin tucking on Jimin's full lips. His glance falling down to his watch then. "I'm actually waiting here for her. She should come any minute now."

"To be honest," Seokjin began then with a light frown on his soft features, "I always knew you guys would retire some day. I just assumed it'd be along with me."

"Well, you know we aren't in our early twenties anymore and besides.. some priorities shifted with time."

Seokjin hummed. Understanding it in a way. After all, same applied to him by now. Still he couldn't help wondering what priorities had changed for Jimin and why.

A black Harley Davidson came to an abrupt halt in front of them then. Arabella taking her helmet off, her hair swaying as it fell over her shoulders.

"Bella-baby, you're late!"

"I said around six, not exactly. Not my fault you came here too early," she huffed. Her eyes widening when spotting the man next to him. "Pops, you here?"

She was actually quite happy to see Seokjin again, having kind of missed him - as weird as it sounded. She had been so used of having him always on their back, it was weird it wasn't the case anymore.

Seokjin, however, didn't seem as pleased. The old nickname cuasing him to roll his eyes. "Seriously, when will you guys ever quit calling me 'pops'?"

"Probably never, it's your nickname for a reason after all."

He laughed under his breath. "You never told me the reason though."

Arabella and Jimin exchanged a look, giggling. "Isn't it obvious? You were always running after us and scolding us. Like a dad."

"And you're older than us, so it fit."

He was speechless for a moment. In a way that stupid nickname that he had secretly grown fond of, made sense. It was even somehow cute, in a very weird and twisted way. He coughed then, feeling his ears becoming red. "I've got to go now," he announced and stood up, "Can't let Yong wait alone for too long. See you guys." He waved at them as he walked away. Only to shortly turn around then with a smirk. "Oh, but before I forget.. You don't coincidentally know anything about that stolen jade statue that is all over the local newpapers?"

Arabella and Jimin looked at each other, before giving him an innocent shrug. Shaking their heads. "No, why would we? We're retired now, remember?"

"Right. Right," Seokjin let out a loud laugh. Not being convinced at all. "Well, see you then."

As he disappeared around the corner, a frowned settled on Arabella's features. "He didn't buy it, did he?"

"So what?" Jimin shrugged and picked up his book, shoving it inside his jacket. "He can't do anything about it as long as we don't leave the country."

They might've officially retired a few months ago, but that didn't mean they'd be dead. After all they'd never be the kind to be content with a 'normal' life. Even if there was no one to hunt them anymore, neither from interpol nor from any organization - Namjoon and Hoseok having liquidated 'owl inc' and its branches only a year ago  - they still wanted to keep the excitement, thrill and fun. Just in smaller portions here and there.

"Anyway, let's go."

Arabella tossed him the second helmet before putting her own on and he got on the bike behind her. His arms wrapping around her waist, purposely way too high to be closer to her boobs and she rolled her eyes. Already used to his attics.

She switched the ignition button on, her foot kicking up the kickstand. "By the way," he spoke up then, propping his chin on her shoulder with an arched brow as he curiously looked up to her. "Don't you think it'd be better not to drive the bike for now? You know, because of the.." His eyes pointed down at her belly before returning to her.

She kind of wanted to be annoyed at him for even suggesting this, but then again she understood his worries. She pecked his cheek. "When the bump starts showing, I will," she smiled and squeezed the clutch lever all the way to the grip. His arms tightening around her.

And they drove off.

THE END

»»»

-thank you all for reading this story! it was fun writing something totally new for once, so hope you also had fun reading it!

❗ the sequel a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg is out as well!

❗the prequel "a thief's origin ✨ || bts • kth" along with one shots for jungkook and seokjin are in the works!

- check out my other bts stories, too: here

#park jimin #bts jimin #jimin #jimin au #jimin fanfic #thief au #gangster au #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #exes to lovers #ex2l #e2l #f2l #bts #bts au #bts fic #jimin angst #jimin fluff #bts fanfic #bts x oc #bts series #kat mcnamara #katherine mcnamara #taehyung #yoongi #seokjin #jungkook #namjoon #hoseok #jimin mafia

[wastemanjohn]

SPN Kink Bingo 2023

8/9 ain't bad even if it took me until october. i don't want to do cupping so i'm not going to. 🥲

as follows:

shibari -quiet room (johndean, dean/omc's - explicit, 1,878 words - cw: dub con, emotional abuse, incest) - This is what love looks like.

exhibitionism - a simple motion (johndeanna, deanna/omc - explicit, 2,353 words - cw: semi-incest, consent issues) - Sure, Dad looks. Deanna knows he looks, when she's flitting about in a towel, when the sticky midsts of summer force her into shorts, when she's sitting in his lap after a hunt, passing a bottle back and forth in silence. But for all the things he asks of her, he's never - would never - ask for that. // But watching her - watching her is different. Watching isn't touching, and there's no law against that.

prostate milking - the dark is light enough (johndean, explicit, 3129 words - cw :incest) - Yeah, it's hard, hard to face this. Who they are, what they've become. But John isn't doing it to punish himself. He's doing this for Dean.

roleplay - yesterday's hymn (dean/omc, past johndean - explicit, 1232 words - cw: past non con, past csa (this one is quite #dark) - A bad man doesn't pawn his soul so his son can live.

first kiss - this be the verse - (deanmary, johndean, johnmary, maybe samdean if u squint hard - explicit, 6,822 words) cw: past and current non con, incest, past csa (this one is very #dark) - There are a lot of things that Dean doesn’t tell Mary about her husband. It’s best that John stays 27 in her head forever, like Hendrix or something, young and beautiful and fucked up in a pretty unremarkable way.

free space (emotional sex) - so many moving parts - johndean - explicit, 1816 words, cw :incest, a gift for my dear ami <3 ) - And sure, no one’s actually said the word anniversary, but they've never had a day like this before.

flogging - coming up roses everywhere - samjohn ish - explicit, 14,618 words - cw: underage, bdsm content, highly creepy papa winchester) - Where John wasn't planning to snoop around Sam's laptop, but his boy seems to be hiding something.

awkward sex - then leave me the bones - johndean - explicit, 6854 words - cw: emotional abuse, alcoholism, dub con, threats of non-con) - John’s moods are like a slow growing tumor. Easy to miss at first. Causing all kinds of problems when it's too late.

#fic #my writing #spn kink bingo 2023 #didn't happen in two months but i'm quite proud! #long post

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Lost Cause prologue, Part V

I'm coming to Minneapolis! Oct 15: Presenting The Internet Con at Moon Palace Books. Oct 16: Keynoting the 26th ACM Conference On Computer-Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing.

In my upcoming solarpunk novel The Lost Cause (Nov 14), we get an epic struggle between the people doing the repair and care work needed to save our planet and species, and the reactionary wreckers who want to kill the Green New Deal and watch the world burn:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues

Amazon refuses to carry my audiobooks, which means that I make my own indie editions and pre-sell them on Kickstarter, along with ebooks and hardcovers. I narrated this one! It came out great! You can back it here:

http://lost-cause.org

This week, I've been serializing the prologue to give you a taste of what you can expect from the book, which Bill McKibben calls "politically perceptive, scientifically sound, and extraordinarily hopeful."

Here's part one:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/06/green-new-deal-fic/#the-first-generation-in-a-century-not-to-fear-the-future

And part two:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/07/met-cute-ugly/#part-ii

And part three:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/09/working-the-refs/#lost-cause-prologue

And part four:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/10/weaponized-interdependence/#super-soaker-full-of-hydrochloric-acid

And now, part five:

Look, I had weeks to go until graduation. I had a life to live. I had stuff to do.

Gramps and his friends would stew and shout. Idiots on the internet would make dank memes out of Mike Kennedy and deepfake him into a million videos, turn him into a main character whose image would be around long after he left the world.

I just had to keep my head down, collect my diploma, and get the hell out of Burbank. I’d already been provisionally accepted for a Blue Helmets AmeriCorps spot down in San Juan Capistrano, helping to rebuild the city’s lower half a mile inland, up in the hills. I was going to do a year of that and then go to college: I had applications in to UCLA, Portland State (they had a really good refugee tech undergrad program), and the University of Waterloo, where my mom did her undergrad in environmental science. They’d let me declare my major in my second year, so I could take a wide variety of courses before settling on something, and if anything, Canada’s free college was even more generous than the UC system or Portland’s, with a subsidy for dorms and meals.

To tell the truth, I’d be glad to go. My senior year hadn’t been anything like I’d anticipated. Gramps’s health had gotten a lot worse the previous summer and his shitty sexist and racist remarks chased away any home help worker Burbank sent over within a week or two, so I’d been trying to keep my grades up while picking up after Gramps, getting him to take his meds, washing his sheets and cleaning his toilet—­not to mention making sure he made his doctor’s appointments and even bringing him into the office a couple of times a month for the kind of exams you couldn’t do by telemedicine.

I wasn’t sure what Gramps would do without me to take care of him, but at that point, I was running out of fucks to give. Let his asshole Maga Club buddies look after him, or maybe Gramps could figure out how not to offend everyone that came over to wipe his ass and do his laundry. He was—­as he was fond of pointing out to me—­a grown-­ass adult, and this was his house, and he was in charge. So let him be in charge.

I put myself to bed stewing about all of this, thinking of San Juan Capistrano. Some of my older friends had graduated the previous years and had gone down there and I’d followed their relocation of the old mission on their feeds. It looked like hot, sweaty, rewarding work, the kind of thing where you could really measure your progress.

For the second night in a row, I was woken up at 2 a.m. This time, it wasn’t my screen, it was Gramps, who’d stumped into my room with his cane, flipped my lights to full on, and started shaking me and calling out, “Get up, kid, get up!”

“I’m up,” I said, getting up on my elbows and squinting at him.

He was shaking, and he reeked—­of both booze and BO, and I felt a flash of guilt for not getting him in the bath that day.

“God dammit,” he said, and staggered a bit. I leapt out of bed, pulling the sheets off with me, and steadied him at the elbow.

“Calm down, okay? What’s going on? Are you all right?”

“No, I’m not all right. No one is all right. Fuck all right and fuck you.” I’d had Gramps tested for early dementia the previous year, by showing his doctor videos of moments like these. The doc had run a battery of tests before pronouncing, “Your grandfather isn’t senile, he’s just ornery.” Which was undeniable, and also pissed me the hell off. “Ornery” was a polite word for “asshole.” What the doc was telling me was that Gramps didn’t have to be cruel. He was cruel by choice.

I untangled myself from the sheets and piled them on the bed.

“What is it?”

“It’s Mike Kennedy, that asshole. Someone shot him.”

“What?”

He shoved his giant screen into my hands. I tapped the video window. It was from the POV of a car cam, that weird fish-­eye view of a self-­driving car, split-­screen with the passenger in the front seat, and it was Mike Kennedy, looking even worse than Gramps, bloodshot and trembling, with that under-­chin camera angle that makes everyone look like they’re half dead.

I tried to watch both halves. There was Kennedy, whispering something to him. There was the cul-­de-­sac he was parked in, false-­lit with IR from the cameras. The timestamp was 1:17. Less than an hour before.

Then the external image flickered for a second and resolved itself into a man, who phased in and out. He was wearing a ghillie suit like the one Kennedy had worn on the roof, covered in telltale CV dazzle stripes, designed to exploit defects in the computer vision system. You had to wear a different specific pattern for every algorithm, but if you got the right matchup, the computer would simply not see you. The man was flickering into existence when his posture crumpled up the ghillie suit and made the pattern stop working, then out again when he straightened up.

He straightened and disappeared and Mike Kennedy’s eyes widened as he noticed the man for the first time—­computer dazzle worked on computers, not humans—­and he started to say something and then a round hole appeared in his forehead, his head snapping back against the headrest, then careening forward. The flickering phantom appeared again as the man in the ghillie suit turned and disappeared.

I dropped the tablet to my bed.

“Jesus Christ, Gramps, I didn’t need to see that snuff movie—­”

He tried to smack me then. I was ready for it. I was faster. I stepped out of his reach. I was shaking too.

“You don’t get to hit me anymore old man. Never again, you hear me?”

He was purpling now, and a decade’s worth of fleeing and defusing his rages rose in me, made me want to apologize. After all, I rationalized, he’d just seen a friend murdered.

But I’d seen that friend murdered too, videobombed with a snuff flick at 2 a.m. without warning or consent. It was a traumatizing, selfish, asshole move. I’d be watching that movie on the backs of my eyelids for years to come. And the friend who’d died? He’d been ready to kill me. Gramps had no right. He was a grown-­ass adult. He had no right.

“Listen to me, you little shit, you think you can live under my roof, take my charity, and talk to me like that? Now? With all the shit that I’m going through? No sir. No. Get out, you little bastard, get out now. Get out before I kick your goddamned teeth in.” He was vibrating with rage now, literally, actually shaking so hard his wispy hair swished back and forth across his forehead.

I didn’t say another word. I picked up some jeans and a jacket, put a pair of socks in a jacket pocket, and jammed my feet into a pair of sneakers without bothering to unlace them. I shouldered past him—­still vibrating, stinking even worse—­and banged out the back door and stomped through the nighttime streets.

My feet automatically took me up to Verdugo, and then across the empty road. I turned toward school—­as I did every morning—­and autopiloted in that direction. By the time I reached the Verdugo Aquatic Facility I had calmed down enough to realize that there was no reason to go to school at two thirty in the morning, so I stopped and headed for the playground in the park behind the pool. I sat down on a bench and kicked my shoes off and shook out the playground sand, pulled out my socks and put them on, then put my shoes back on properly. I was still furious, but now I could think straight and my hands weren’t shaking. Gramps and I hadn’t had a blowup like that in years, mostly—­ okay, entirely—­because I’d backed down every time we’d been headed in that direction. I wasn’t in any mood to back down. Not ever, to be fully honest.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/11/equal-opportunity-class-war/#part-v

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

#pluralistic #books #science fiction #clifi #solarpunk #crowdfunding #audiobooks #the lost cause #fiction

[all-hail-the-witcher]

questionable government spies but better written and five years late: a newsies multichap coming tonight, july 2, 2023 EST

hi hello. it’s me saph. back at it again.

the title is exactly what this looks like.

for those of you that were familiar with the first iteration of this story, welcome back, i’m so happy to have you. for those of you who are not, welcome to my long anticipated spies fic. this was originally published under the user @/suddenly-im-respecsable in about 2018-2019 (there is the early version still floating on tumblr but i have changed my url since and it’s not easily findable) and was cross posted on ao3 but was taken down

the basic gist of the story was that race and albert were fbi agents and were field training jack. they get summoned to nyc (where they were trained) to deal with some super hard gang case that no one can crack. in the process they meet spot who is working for said gang and wants out. davey jacobs is the head of the nyc branch of the fbi and hates race and albert because they almost blew up his weapons lab.

i think i got through 14 ish chapters before realizing the whole thing was badly written and in order for it to be what i wanted it to be i needed to redo it. and then i graduated high school and started college and changed fandoms and started dating my boyfriend and there was a global pandemic and then i graduated college and all of that.

and now, 5 years later, i am back on my bullshit, this time with a creative writing degree under my belt and @ainti-pretty to force me to finish what i started. the plot is all relatively the same, just a little tweaked. i never got to the point of all the plot twists so if you read the original version you have no spoilers besides some background knowledge that i am changing around a little. im working entirely off of my original hand written outline that is on the back of my notes from my 11th grade english class

and what motivated me to do this now you may ask? well i’m interning in nyc over the summer and can do irl accurate location mapping lol. that and i made a tumblr to literally post this story and i never finished it so i figured that i should probably do that. and if you’re doubting that this will get finished, which, fair, @ainti-pretty and i are literally living together next year and i am certain that i will be hounded about this every day of my existence

i am tagging people who i remember being very excited about this back in the day. if you want to be tagged in future parts of this please let me know. if you don’t just feel free to ignore :) @sun-kissed-star @getchapapes @jack-kellys @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @fairly-awkward-trashcan @ritsunaru @heller-obama @turtle-steverogers @boygirlctommy @newsies-trash-queen @telling-tragedy @alberteatsglass

and since i have every ounce of this planned, here is my casting if you are interested:

92sies: mush, blink, davey

obc: spot, crutchie, smalls, medda, pulitzer

toursies: specs

proshot: albert, romeo, elmer, buttons, jojo, (anyone else i’ve forgotten is probably proshot)

uksies: jack, finch

race: weird combo of btc and giuseppe bausillo

katherine: a literal tiktok girlie

i am cross posting this on ao3, the tumblr version will all be tagged under #spies 2.0 and it will all me master posted and pinned on my blog.

im so excited :)) this fic is my baby and i want to thank everyone who has read it previously and everyone who will this go around. let me know if you want to be tagged !!

#saphie scribbles #god havent used that one in awhile #newsies #newsies au #newsies fanfiction #newsies fanfic #newsies fic #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #jack kelly #spot conlon #spies 2.0 #ralbert #sprace #yay #its happening finally

[moon-ruled-rising]

I was tagged by @girlwithakiwi for the Self Rec Writer Tag.

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💕💗

(Please note: To protect my work from AI Scraping, my A03 fics are only visible to registered users. Thank you for your understanding.)

begged and borrowed time — If you're going to read a WIP of mine, I suggest this one! I'm really proud of it and it lives rent free in my head always. Submitted for Jonerys Summer Lovin' 2k22. Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Dragons, and Romance— it's everything you could ever want.

The Glass Dagger and the Winter Rose — My first submission to Jonerys Remix 2021. Whenever I'm feeling uninspired I go back and read this one. I love writing fairy tales (or things with a fairy tale tones) and to me, this is just splendid. Cinderella is also my favorite and I combined elements of the Disney live action remake (2015) and the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical. Cinderella AU, Ella!Jon, Prince(ss) Charming!Dany, and an unexpected happy ending. (Available on FFN)

this town's too small too keep secrets — The completed first installment of my High School AU Series. Originally, the whole series was meant to be a single one shot based off a country song but the muse to write a whole series of oneshots hit me like a truck and so I wrote this one as a sort of framing device for all the ones to follow. High School Jonerys, High School RobbxMargaery, lots of inter-personal drama from the parents, Friday Night Lights vibes.

A Christmas Coincidence — The first installment of a series dubbed The Brie-mark Channel. Submitted for Jonerys Winter Wonderland 2k22, this was my first time writing a oneshot like this and I just love the way it turned out. If you want holiday nostalgia, good vibes romance all wrapped into one, then I highly suggest this one.

sad beautiful tragic — Submitted for Jonerys Remix 2023. This one will be slow to update but the first act is up. This was my first time not doing a true 1:1 remix and instead choosing elements about the pairing (Anna/Vronsky (Anna Karenina) for this one) that were intriguing. This is definitely more serious than anything I have ever written before and I am living for the challenge. Adultry, implied age difference/maturity difference, Up-and-Coming Actor!Jon, Actress!Dany reclaiming her career and finding a perhaps misguided sense of self in the meantime. There's drama, angst, I believe it was also described as "a fresh take on Hollywood Noir" so do with that what you will. (Thanks @jellybeanficwriter for that comment, I think about it ALL. THE. TIME.)

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[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Sebastian Stan x Female Reader Story

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

Having been contacted by Sebastian, reader felt her life finally became normal. She couldn't lie to herself. She really still loved him. Moreover, Sebastian started to treat her and her family the way he used to treat her before they were married. His gesture touched her heart and soul the way they've never been touched before. However, Sebastian still couldn't put words into action and that made her doubt his love for her. Will he come through and will be able to proof his love to her? Or will he remain indifferent and selfish?

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 21/23 (might add more)

Chapter list>

Warning : angst, divorce mention, fluff - a lot of sweet fluff 😉

Word count : 10.4k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it here.

---

Chapter 21 - Always Be My Baby

We were as one, babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'm lettin' you fly

'Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never die

No..

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Oh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

Always Be My Baby - David Cook/Mariah Carey

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - June 16th 2023 - 11 am

Ever since that first contact with Sebastian, Y/n felt like her life slowly returned to normal. It didn't feel normal for her not being able to hear his voice or see his face everyday. Like it or not, she felt like he was a permanent fixture in her life. Whatever their status were, he was still going to be a part of her life, one way or another.

Yes, she contemplated on still getting a divorce from him no matter how hurtful it made her feel. It was clear he would never stop being an actor and she was still unsure that she could handle being a celebrity's wife. The events that happened during their honeymoon really left a trauma in her heart, and she knew it would take a while for her to overcome them. So they did what Sebastian suggested, they contacted each other everyday and took things slow.

It was 2 days after their first contact and she was helping her stepmom to bake some cupcakes. Her stepmom used to work at a bakery but had retired since two years ago. They were testing some recipes to bake for Starlene's upcoming birthday.

She had decided to throw a little party for Starlene. It was summer and her brother - who lived and worked in Canada - planned on visiting them just in time for Starlene's birthday. She also decided to invite all of her dad's neighbours and she even invited Shannon, who, as it happened, was filming in LA but promised to come over for a day or two and come to Starlene's birthday. She also invited Sebastian's mother who was ecstatic at her invite. She said she missed Starlene so much and wouldn't miss the party. As for Sebastian, well, he was scheduled to have some days off in the beginning of July and he wanted to come visit during that time. He also made a promise to try his best to come back for Starlene's birthday.

She put some eggs into the big mixing bowl, pushed down the mixer head so the beater was positioned in the bowl and turned the knob to a slow speed. She expected the beater to start moving but it didn't. She checked whether it was connected to the electricity plug and found out that it did. She tried turning the knob again but to no avail. It seemed the mixer was broken.

"Diane.. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened but the mixer won't work." She said, turning to Diane, her stepmom, who was melting some chocolate behind her.

"Oh, here, let me try." She said.

Diane turned the knob of the mixer but the beater still didn't move. She took the beater off and put another one but still the mixer wouldn't turn on.

"Well, another one bites the dust." Diane sighed.

"Oh no. Do you have a spare mixer?" She asked.

"No, this is the last one that I have."

"Oh that's too bad." She said, her face fell.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I hope it's okay that we order the cupcakes for the party from a bakery instead of baking them ourselves."

"Oh of course it's okay, Diane. I just love your cupcakes so much and I wish I could have those for the party. But, it's okay, really. Don't worry about it." She smiled and patted Diane's hand.

That night she told Sebastian about the situation and he was quite sympathetic. She should've seen it coming, however. Sebastian, being the generous soul that he was, bought a new high end mixer for her stepmom. She didn't know how he did it, but the mixer arrived the next day. Diane was so thrilled about it and wouldn't stop complimenting Sebastian.

"Y/n.. he is like the most generous and considerate man I ever know. He's quite a catch. I'm sorry to say this, but I think you should really consider getting back together with him." She said as they tested some cupcake recipes that afternoon.

"I know. But, things aren't that simple." She sighed.

"Well, marriage is never simple. But as long as you love each other, you can get through anything, I truly believe that."

"Even if we want different things?" She asked.

"Yes, despite all the differences, if you truly love each other, you would compromise and find the middle ground. We all have different minds, different needs and wants. Each one of us is unique in our own way. Marriage is about bridging the gap between the differences of two people and learning how to love each other despite it all."

She realized that Diane was right. But she still couldn't shake the trauma off from her mind and for now she was comfortable the way they were. Yes, she missed him, but she loved the normalcy being in Poway brought to her life. She wasn't ready to give that up yet. She knew if she went to Atlanta or New York to be with him things would be different. She would live under a microscope again and she hated that. So for now she was content the way they were.

Apparently, buying her dad a complete entertainment system and her stepmom a high end mixer weren't enough for Sebastian. He still called her dad everyday even though he and Y/n were already on speaking terms. He said her dad reminded him of his own dad. She was so touched by that and so happy that the both of them could be friends.

One day during their daily call, her dad mentioned to Sebastian that he planned on going on a cruise to the Caribbean one day with Diane. He had never gone on a cruise before and was intrigued after watching a program about it on TV. And like clockwork, one day after her dad mentioned that to Sebastian, he gave her dad and Diane an all expenses paid trip to go on a Caribbean cruise in August, surprising all of them.

"Y/n.. he's like a dream son-in-law. I'm so happy that you married him. Just go back to him. He loves you so much. You'll never be able to find someone like him again." her dad said after he found out Sebastian had bought him the Caribbean cruise.

"Oh, dad." She rolled her eyes. Sebastian really knew how to get into people's hearts. His gesture reminded her of what he did early in their relationship. How he bought her everything that she had mentioned and more. Apparently he was using the same strategy but this time he bribed her family instead of her.

His splurging on her family habit continued throughout the week. The day after he bought her dad the Caribbean cruise, he bought him blu-rays of all of Harrison Ford's movies, each one signed by Harrison Ford himself!

"Sebastian, this is amazing! This is.. unbelievable! I can't thank you enough." Her dad gushed into his cellphone during their daily calling session.

"What?! Oh my, really? That's.. yes.. of course I want to talk to him!" Her dad said enthusiastically.

Apparently Sebastian was at a shoot with Harrison Ford and had offered to have Harrison talk to her dad. She smiled and shook her head as she looked at how happy and ecstatic her dad was. Harrison Ford was nice and they all ended up having a video call session with him.

"Seb, thank you for what you've done to my dad and stepmom this week. I really appreciate it." She said during their daily call session.

"Oh my pleasure, honey. You know I love splurging on other people. Especially my own family." He replied.

"I know, and thank you for that."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Which reminds me, I haven't given you or Starlene anything. Is there anything that you want? Either for you or Starlene?" He asked.

"Seb, you don't have to. Really. You know how I feel if you splurge on me."

"Well.. if not for you then for Starlene. What does she need now?" He insisted.

"She just needs her dad." She said wistfully.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'll be there. Sooner or later I'll be there. I promise you that."

"You're still coming next week, right?" She asked.

"Umm.. about that. I'm sorry honey, but I was thinking of postponing to come until July 11th or 12th so I can be at Starlene's birthday. Because the shooting schedule is kind of tight and I hate to be the cause of the delay. I mean, Marvel allowed me to have days off monthly and not every two weeks, if you know what I mean. So I thought I would use the days off for Starlene's birthday."

"Hmm.. okay. That makes sense." She couldn't help but feel disappointed at his answer. She was really looking forward to see him again. Her bed felt cold for much too long without him by her side.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I hope you're okay with it?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course. It's important that you can be here on Starlene's birthday, so as long as you can come for that, it's okay."

"Thank you honey, I promise I'll be there."

"I'm holding you to that promise, Seb."

"Don't worry, I'll be there. In the mean time, I think I know what to give Starlene."

"What?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, it's a surprise." He chuckled.

"Seeb.." she protested but he just laughed in response.

Sebastian's idea for a surprise for Starlene came in the form of a huge Sesame street bouncy castle with slides and life size balloon Elmo inside. Y/n's jaw dropped when the local toy store dropped off the bouncy castle at her dad's front lawn.

"Seb.. are you kidding me?!" She said to him through her cellphone as she watched the toy store staff filled the bouncy castle with air.

"What? You don't like it?" He asked innocently.

"It's not that but it's so huge it covers almost all of the front lawn." She stated.

"Oh I'm sorry, I should have asked how big your dad's front lawn is." He said dejectedly.

"Yeah well. Starlene loves it though." She smiled as she watched Starlene crawled towards the bouncy castle, her eyes huge as saucers as she looked at the huge pictures of Elmo on the side of the castle.

"Aawww.. well that's the most important thing." He responded.

"Yeah it is. Thank you, Seb. But maybe consult with me first next time you want to buy something like this?" She asked.

"Of course, honey. I'm sorry."

Despite being scolded by her for buying Starlene something like the bouncy castle, he kept showering Starlene with gifts everyday. He bought her a three story Barbie house complete with all the furnitures and the Barbie dolls. He bought her 50 toddler books with various themes. He bought her all of Sesame Street characters plush dolls, and huge ones at that. He also bought her many different dresses and clothes. He even bought her a bicycle and a rollerblade.

"Seb, she can't even walk yet and you already bought her a bicycle and a rollerblade?!" She protested during their calling session.

"I know, but one day she will and you won't have to think about buying her a bicycle and rollerblade again." He defended himself.

"Oh Seb." She could only respond.

After almost two weeks of non stop splurging to her family, she started to feel rather jealous. It wasn't like he never splurged on her before. But, considering it was her that he was trying to get back together with, she felt it was rather peculiar that he hadn't given her anything yet. But she decided not to mention it to him because she was rather embarrassed to admit that she expected to get something from him, anything, even if just flowers.

As if he could read her mind, one day after Sebastian's rollerblade for Starlene arrived, a bouquet of flowers and a package came for her. The bouquet was of purple hyacinth. It came with a card that said "Please forgive me." She smiled and felt her heart melted as she read the card. Hyacinth as it happened really symbolized asking for someone's forgiveness. He was really thoughtful when picking the flower for her.

After putting the hyacinth in a vase she opened the package and shook her head in disbelief. He had sent her a book, her favourite book, Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. He left a note at the front page.

Read the bookmarked page.

So she turned to the bookmarked page and found that he had highlighted a paragraph.

You can never know if a person forgives you when you wrong them. Therefore it is existentially important to you. It is a question you are intensely concerned with. Neither can you know whether a person loves you. It's something you just have to believe or hope. But these things are more important to you than the fact that the sum of the angles in a triangle is 180 degrees. You don't think about the law of cause and effect or about modes of perception when you are in the middle of your first kiss.

She sighed as she read the paragraph. He had left another note at the bookmarked page.

My dearest Y/n,

I'm sorry for all that I have done. I'm sorry for all that I have said. And I'm sorry if I can't be the man you wish for. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and love me again the way you used to. And I hope when you do, you will let me know so I won't have to wonder anymore.

Love,

Your eternal admirer

She smiled as she read the note.

Yes, ever since they started contacting each other again she hadn't yet said that she loved him or missed him yet. She still needed some time until she was ready to say them to him. She needed to be sure if she was ready to come back to him and deal with everything else that came by being with him before she could say them. It seemed he was starting to get bothered by it.

The fact made her feel mischievous. She knew it wasn't right, but she was somewhat happy to make him wonder about her feelings for him. Receiving the message from him made her feel even more mischievous that she decided not to let him know about her feelings for him for as long as she could. She wanted to know how far he would go to win back her love. And for the next nine days she found out exactly how far he would go.

On the second day he sent her a bouquet of white orchids and a note that said he missed her. Along with the bouquet was a poetry book by Mahmoud Darwish and he highlighted the following passage.

How do I say I miss you in a way that will make your heart ache as mine does.

She couldn't help but shed a tear upon reading the passage. He had no idea but she missed him terribly as well. Unfortunately she wasn't sure yet whether she could express her longing for him just yet. Somehow, she still needed some time. So, she didn't say anything to him except how much she appreciated the flowers and books he had sent her. She did, however, told him that she had forgiven him. But she couldn't yet say that she still loved him so much.

For the next eight days, Sebastian sent her a bouquet of flowers daily. Every single bouquet of flowers that he sent was meaningful, and he made sure she knew that by writing the meaning of them in an attached card. Declarations of friendship, trust, admiration and of course love and longing accompanied bouquets of colorful tulips, roses, carnations and zinnias. With every bouquet that came she felt her broken soul slowly mended and the feeling of emptiness in her heart gradually disappeared.

She would've been satisfied with him just sending her the flowers, but of course he just had to do more. Along with the flowers he kept sending her books and in every single one he highlighted at least one passage to convey his feelings for her. Being the bookworm that she was, this gesture touched her heart and soul in a way that she never experienced before. It became a highlight of her day to receive the books and read the passages that he had highlighted.

Day 3

You might not have been my first love but you are the love that made all other loves seem irrelevant.

- Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey poetry book

Day 4

And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

- Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars

Day 5

In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

You have bewitched me body and soul and I love, love, love you.

- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Day 6

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. I have loved none but you."

- Jane Austen, Persuasion

Day 7

I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend. The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body.

- Tahereh Mafi, Unravel Me

Day 8

I want morning and noon and nightfall with you. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses...the smell of your hair, the taste of your skin, the touch of your breath on my face. I want to see you in the final hour of my life...to lie in your arms as I take my last breath.

- Lisa Kleypas, Again the Magic

Day 9

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

- Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

On the tenth day he pulled out all the stops and sent her the complete works of Shakespeare. He highlighted many passages from the famous playwright's plays and sonnets and asked her to read them in a certain order so that the passages formed a cohesive letter.

The course of true love never did run smooth.

When you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave.

I love you more than words can wield the matter. Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty.

For where thou art, there is the world itself. And where thou art not, desolation.

I would not wish any companion in the world but you.

Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life.

The moment she finished reading the passages, a tear dropped from her eyes. He truly truly loved her and she truly loved him too. All of the things he had done to her and her family had healed her trauma and she finally felt like she was ready to tell him about it. She was ready to tell him how much she still loved and longed for him.

Unfortunately, something she didn't expect came up and her mind once again took over in an attempt to protect her heart.

It was July 10th when it happened, 3 days before Starlene's birthday. They were on their daily calling session when he broke the bad news to her.

"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry but I think I won't be able to go there in time for Starlene's birthday."

"What?! But why? What happened?" She asked, her heart dropped to her stomach. She really was looking forward to see him again.

"I have to do a re-shoot with Harrison Ford on the 12th and 13th. I already asked for a reschedule but Harrison can't do it on any other dates. I'm really really sorry, sweetheart."

There it was, she was reminded again of one of the reasons why she left him. His f*****g job! Somehow, his job always, always forced him to choose between his family or his job. And every single time he always chose his job.

"Oh, right. Fine. You know, you don't even have to bother coming here, Seb. Just finish the whole five month shoot and don't make promises to come before then. Especially if you can't keep them!" She replied as anger started to consume her.

"Oh honey, don't say that. I miss you and Starlene so much and I don't think I can wait five months before I can see you both again. I promise I'll come over there after the shoot is done. I'll be there on the 15th."

"Seb, stop making promises that you can't keep!" She snapped.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, honey. I really am."

She sighed. Her plans on telling him how she felt went out the window as anger and disappointment overcame her.

"I'll make it up to you, sweetheart, I promise." He pleaded.

"Words are nothing without action, Seb." She said coldly and with that she hung up the phone, leaving him hanging.

He tried calling her back multiple times but she just wouldn't accept it. He needed to know how angry she was at him so she ignored all his calls and messages.

After what seemed like the twentieth time, he finally stopped trying to call her and just sent her a message.

I'm really sorry, sweetheart. You have the right to be angry with me and I accept that. But I hope you'll forgive me by the time I visit. I'll be there on the 15th.

Love,

Your eternal admirer

She sighed as she read the message. She really meant it. Words meant nothing without action. Despite everything that he had given her and her family, despite all the sweet words and beautiful flowers he had sent to her, all of them meant nothing to her if he didn't put his words into action and visit them. So she decided to ignore him and just see whether he really came on the 15th.

Sebastian didn't easily give up on trying to make amends to her. When he said he would make it up to her, he truly meant it.

The morning after he told her the bad news, he sent her a huge bouquet of pink carnations and purple hyacinth along with an apology letter and an envelope containing what she truly didn't expect.

My dearest Y/n,

I'm sorry again for not being able to come for Starlene's birthday. You have no idea how devastated I am about that. I hope eventually you'll understand and forgive me.

As I said before, I want to make it up to you. So, I made some arrangements for you to go on a day trip to San Diego today to have some me-time. You don't have to worry about Starlene. I talked to your dad and stepmom and they would take care of her. You can find the itinerary and the things you will need for the day in the attached envelope. Don't worry about transportation. I've rented a car and a chauffer for you.

I hope you'll have fun. You deserve it so much.

I love you and please enjoy your day.

Love,

Your eternal admirer

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she looked at the itinerary and contents of the envelope.

He had booked for her to have a complete spa treatment at Rancho Valencia that morning, a Forbes 5 star spa and resort located about 15 miles from Poway. Along with the spa treatment, he sent her a three thousand dollars Macy's gift card so she could go on a shopping spree after the spa treatment at Macy's Fashion Valley, one of the biggest shopping malls in San Diego. But the most jaw dropping of them all, he had bought her a ticket to see David Cook's concert at the Music Box, San Diego that night.

David Cook was one of her favourite musicians. She couldn't believe he still remembered and she was mindblown on how he was able to score a ticket for her at the last minute.

As soon as she finished digesting all the mind blowing gifts he had given her, she immediately gave him a call.

"Good morning my love." He greeted her.

"Good morning, Seb." She smiled.

"How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm currently in shock." She said teasingly.

"Oh, why is that?" He asked, feigning innocence.

"You remember the millionaire guy I told you about?" She asked, referring to an imaginary guy who she often referred to whenever Sebastian sent her a gift. It was an inside joke they had going on since before they were married.

He laughed out loud. "Yeah, what about him?"

"He sent me the most amazing gift ever! I really don't know what to do with this guy." She teased.

"Oh, he did? What did he send you?"

"He arranged for me to have the best day ever in San Diego. I mean.. a spa treatment? A shopping spree? A concert of my favourite musician?! He's just unbelievable. You know, you should take a page from his book if you want me back and forgive you." She teased again.

Her words made him laugh even harder.

"Oh honey, he really is unbeatable, huh? I really should try harder to win you back."

"Yeah, you should. I'm this close to saying I love you to him."

"Aaawww.. you love him?"

"Maybe.."

"Well, even if you love him I bet you love me more."

"Oh, what makes you so sure of that?"

"Just a hunch." He teased.

"Well, just so you know, I'm not letting you off the hook this easily." She huffed. "I mean it Sebastian Stan. No amount of gifts, flowers, beautiful words could sway me into your arms unless you put your words into action."

"Ouch. That hurt." He said.

"Well.. that's just the truth." She snickered.

He sighed. "I know. But I bet you'll change your mind tonight."

"Seb.. what are you planning?" She asked curiously.

"It's a surprise, honey. Now why don't you go and get ready. The chauffer will come at 9. And also.. I arranged for someone to accompany you. I don't want you to go alone."

"What?! Who? Who did you ask to go with me?" She asked, dumbfounded.

"Oh you'll see.. she should be there soon." He chuckled.

"Oh, Seb.." She could only say.

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 11th 2023 - 8.45 am

She was sitting at the dining table feeding Starlene some baby cereal. Her dad sat across from her eating his breakfast while Diane sat next to him, eating her breakfast too. She was ready to go and have the best day ever when all of a sudden she heard the sound of someone knocking at the front door.

"Excuse me." A familiar female voice said from behind the door.

"That must be the chauffer or the companion Sebastian told me about." She said as she stood up and walked towards the front door.

When she opened the door her jaw dropped and she squealed in excitement.

"Shannon! Oh my God! I didn't expect to see you!" She said as she embraced Shannon in a tight hug.

"Seb asked me to accompany you today." Shannon smiled as she released herself from her embrace.

"Oh, I should have known." She chuckled.

"Yeah, well, I was planning on coming tomorrow because I still have a shoot today. But he begged for me to come today so I can accompany you for the whole day. He even talked to my director and begged him to give me the day off. Seb sent my director a nice bottle of wine and a box of cake that my director finally allowed me to go." Shannon chuckled.

"Oh wow. He's really persistent." She laughed.

"He is, especially when it comes to you." Shannon winked.

"Oh Shannon, I've missed you so much!" She reached out and hugged her again with tears in her eyes.

"I've missed you too, Y/n." Shannon said as she rubbed her back.

"Oh Y/n.. are you crying?" Shannon asked as she let her go. Her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"A little. I just miss you. There's so many things I want to tell you." She replied.

"Well you'll have a whole day to tell me everything." Shannon winked and she smiled.

"Are you ready? We have a full day ahead of us." Shannon continued and reminded her.

"Oh yeah. I'm ready. Just need to finish feeding Starlene for a few minutes. And anyway, the chauffer isn't here yet." She said, glancing behind Shannon's back.

As if on cue, a limousine pulled up right in front of the house.

"Is that the car he rented for us today?" Shannon asked, her jaw dropped.

"Yeah I guess it is. You know how much he loves splurging." She shook head in disbelief. He just had to book a fancy car didn't he? She should have guessed he would pull all of the stop in pampering her today.

After she finished feeding Starlene and Shannon finished eating her breakfast, they got into the limousine.

"Bye Starlene! Bye dad! Bye Diane!" She rolled down the window of the limousine and waved at them who were standing on the front porch, watching her leave.

"Bye dear! Have fun!" Her dad waved back and smiled.

Starlene, who was being held by her dad, stared at her then extended her hands to her. "Mama.. mama.." She cried out and started to cry.

"Oh no." She shook her head.

"It's okay, Starlene! You're safe with grandpa and grandma!" She called out.

"Yes Starlene dear. We're gonna have some fun today! Let's go to the bouncy castle and play with Elmo." Her dad said and he immediately turned around, rocking Starlene in his arms as he tried to soothe her cries.

She took a deep breath. Starlene was never away from her for too long. The longest she was away from her was probably when she had her me-time back in Amsterdam. Her motherly instinct took over and she contemplated on going back and have Starlene come with her.

"Y/n.. I know what you're thinking, but today is your day. You need some me-time. Don't worry about Starlene. Your dad and stepmom can take good care of her." Shannon said as she placed her hand on hers in encouragement.

"I know. It's just.. today is going to be the longest day that she's away from me. And I can't help but worry, you know." She sighed.

"Oh Y/n. She'll be fine! Nothing is gonna happen to her. Trust me. Besides, she's getting bigger, sooner or later she'll be away from you even much longer than today. You have to learn to let her go."

"I know." She took a deep breath and let it go. Shannon was right, she should try to let her go and just enjoy the day.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Are you ready to go?" The chauffer rolled down the black divider that divided the driver's area with the passenger area at the back and turned to them.

"Oh yeah, let's go." She smiled.

The chauffer nodded and the limousine soon moved and drive away, taking them to their first stop, the Rancho Valencia Resort and Spa.

---

Fashion Valley Mall, San Diego - July 11th 2023 - 3 pm

Spending the morning at the Rancho Valencia spa and the afternoon at the Fashion Valley mall proved to be just exactly what she needed. The spa was beautiful, the treatments she received were top notch that she never felt so relaxed and tranquil in her life. She arrived at the spa still feeling worried about Starlene but she left with such a relaxed mind that she almost forgot she had a daughter.

After the treatments at the spa were done they went to Fashion Valley mall to grab some lunch and did a little shopping.

At first she felt kind of anxious to go to a public place like the mall. She was still traumatic with the whole events with Sebastian's fans, so she tried to disguise herself by wearing a hoodie, a cap and sunglasses. However, Fashion Valley was one of the biggest shopping malls in San Diego and with the scandal becoming a household topic across the world for the past couple of months she was bound to be recognized.

Several people turned to look at her when she walked past, but she was glad none of them gave her judging stares, they were just curious about her. Until she met a young woman at Macy's changing room who blatantly gave her a stare. They were queueing to use the changing room and the young woman was queueing to use the changing room next to her.

She looked away after the woman gave her eye contact but whoever were behind the changing rooms took so long to try their clothes that she couldn't help but glance back at the woman.

"Excuse me.. sorry. I.. I don't mean to bother you but.. are you Y/F/N Stan? Sebastian Stan's wife?" The woman finally asked.

"Umm.." she hesitated in answering her.

"Oh, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I understand. It's just.. if you're her, then I admire you. I saw the clarification interview you did with Sebastian. After everything that Sebastian's fans had done to you, you were still chill about it and you even said you could understand them. I mean. You have so much class and I admire you for that." The woman smiled.

The young woman's words felt like a healing balm on her heart. She never thought anyone would think of her that way, especially after everything that had happened.

"Oh.. that's so nice of you to say that. I.. I appreciate it." She smiled and the woman smiled back.

"So you really are her?" She commented with a twinkle in her eyes.

"You caught me there." She chuckled.

"Well, I'm happy that you're still with Sebastian and that everything was just a misunderstanding. You guys are the perfect couple ever. I wish someday I can find a man that looks at me the way Sebastian looks at you." The woman commented again, surprising her.

Apparently people noticed that about him and she felt her face reddened a little.

"Oh, thank you. Really. I appreciate it." She smiled.

"No problem." The woman said, smiling back at her.

After the encounter with the young woman, she felt somehow more free. So she spent the rest of the time at the mall not worrying too much about the people that noticed her and focused herself on the shopping experience.

With three thousand dollars worth of gift cards in her purse she really had a lot to spend. But being the generous and thoughtful person that she was she ended up not buying much for herself but instead she treated Shannon to some gorgeous dresses, accessories and make up items. She also bought some things for her dad, her stepmom, Starlene, her brother, her mother-in-law and even Sebastian.

It was almost 6 pm when they were finally satisfied with their purchases. They stopped at Fashion Valley food court for some light dinner then off they went to Music Box for what she was sure going to be the highlight of her day. Her feelings turned out to be true and even exceeded her expectations.

---

Music Box, San Diego - July 11th 2023 - 8 pm

The concert was going to start at 9 pm. They arrived at Music Box a little before 8, just in time to see the opening band start.

Sebastian had secured a VIP ticket for them so they had access to a special area at the venue where they could sit and relax with access to the bar. The area was still quite close to the front of the stage so she could still see David and his band clearly. She was glad Sebastian had bought the VIP ticket for them because she didn't think she was strong enough to stand at the festival area after spending the whole afternoon on her feet and shopping. Her legs were aching terribly.

As it happened, Sebastian also secured backstage passes for her so she could meet David Cook himself and take some pictures with him. She was scheduled to meet him after the concert was done. She was nervous yet excited about it. She couldn't believe she got to meet two of her idols in one year. She felt really lucky.

The opening band was a new rock band from Nashville. She wondered if they knew Zac somehow. Come to think of it, it wouldn't surprise her if David also knew Zac because David also lived in Nashville.

She shook her head as the thought entered her mind. She hated that she could somehow thought of Zac. The person who turned her world upside down. She knew it wasn't entirely Zac's fault that she ended up in the mess she was in. But if only she didn't come visit him at his concert, then she wouldn't be in this predicament, being on a break with Sebastian. But then again, their situation was complex. There was Stephanie in the mix as well Sebastian's fans and well.. Sebastian himself who just couldn't seem to understand how important it was to her that he chose her over his job for at least once in his life.

"Y/n.. you okay?" Shannon's voice brought her back from her negative thoughts.

"Oh.. yeah.. I'm okay. I just.. thought of Zac for a bit. You know he lives in Nashville and this band as well as David also lives in Nashville. I just couldn't help but thought of that." She explained.

"Oh okay. Have you heard from him again?" Shannon asked curiously.

"Zac? Oh no. He kept his promise. He never contacted me again. The last time I saw him was the day Seb almost found out that he was in the hotel room with me and Starlene." She replied.

"Oh, that's good. He brings nothing but trouble." Shannon commented.

"I know." She grimaced.

"Y/n.. I'm sorry to ask you this.. you don't have to answer if you don't want to.. but I need to ask this, it's for your own good." Shannon said with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh okay. What is it, Shannon?" She asked, wondering why Shannon suddenly turned serious.

"Do you still have feelings for Zac?"

"What?!" Her heart dropped to her stomach listening to Shannon's question.

"I'm sorry. It's just. It seems to me somehow you still have a soft spot for him. I just wonder.. if you were allowed to choose, would you choose Seb or him?"

"Oh Shannon.. I.. Zac.. he.. well.. My longest relationship ever was with him, and that even included Seb. I mean.. romantic relationship that is. You know he impacted my life greatly."

"I know and I understand. But if you could choose? Who would you choose? This is just me you're talking to. I'm not gonna tell Seb about your answer. I promise. I'm just.. kind of worried about you."

"Oh Shannon. I.. Zac hurt me a lot when he first left. He left me alone in the middle of the night in China town. That's not what a gentleman would do, right? I know Seb would never do that to me."

"So, you still choose Seb?"

"I.."

"Even though he prioritized his acting job over you?"

"Oh Shannon.. I guess.. nobody is perfect. At least he ended up having the guts to propose to me. And he was so sweet to me after the whole thing with Ana blew up. He.. he is still sweet now. Even though I think he still needs a kick in the butt every now and then." She chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad you say that. He's head over heels in love with you and you both need to get back together."

"You think so?"

"Yup."

"If he's head over heels in love with me then why won't he just sacrifice his job and choose me? At least once in his life?" She said sadly.

"He did Y/n. He chose you when you were sick with covid and pregnant with Starlene. Don't you remember?" Shannon smiled.

Shannon was right. He did choose her back then. He chose to break the contract with Ana, his PR girlfriend, resigned from the big agency he was in and chose to cancel his appearance at a fan convention so he could be by her side.

"You're right, Shannon. He did choose me." She said as the realization hit her.

"Yeah, I'm sure if you're in another emergency situation he would choose you again." Shannon commented.

"Well, I'd kill him if he doesn't." She chuckled.

"And you have the right to do that." Shannon laughed.

"Yeah.. it's just. I feel if I'm not in an emergency situation he would choose his job over me. Like what he has done so far. I mean.. he even sacrificed Starlene and won't come to her first birthday." She said bitterly.

"Oh Y/n.. I'm sure he had tried his best to reschedule the shoot to another date. But this is Marvel we're talking about and Harrison Ford. I can see why Seb couldn't get out of it."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Oh hey, the opening band is done. Let's just focus on the show and forget everything else. I'm sorry if I brought up something so serious." Shannon said, reaching out and placed her hand on top of hers.

"It's okay, Shannon. I know you mean well." She smiled and Shannon smiled back.

Moments later David Cook took the stage. She stood up and clapped along with the others, welcoming him onto the stage. Soon he strummed the first notes from his latest single and she found herself standing up and singing along, the aches on her legs seemed to have vanished.

David performed 14 songs that night, mostly songs from his latest album but also some of his older singles. After he was finished performing the 14th song, he changed his electric guitar to an acoustic guitar and a stool was placed in the middle of the stage. He sat on it and tuned his guitar a little while waiting for his band members to sit behind him as they were preparing to change the setting to an acoustic setting.

"So.. thank you everyone for coming here tonight." He addressed the audience and everyone cheered and clapped including her.

"For our last song we're going to perform something special." He smiled as he looked around the audience and turned his face to look at her general area.

"This next song was requested by a certain millionaire guy whose wife is somewhere in the VIP area." He said as he scanned the faces in the VIP area.

Y/n's jaw dropped to the floor as she heard what David just said. By millionaire guy could he mean Sebastian? She wondered.

David locked eyes with her and recognition was clear in his eyes for a second. He winked at her, making her blush furiously. She hid her face from him with her hand, feeling so embarrassed.

Yes, by millionaire guy he really meant Sebastian. She couldn't believe Sebastian would do something like this. But then again, he was always so all out whenever he gave her a gift. Including this.

"He asked me to tell his wife that no matter what happens, she will always be his baby." David continued saying.

Her heart melted at that and she peered at David from behind her hand, curious if he was still looking at her. And sure enough, David was looking at her. He smiled at her again and she was sure her face was as red as a tomato.

David started to strum his guitar and the first few notes of the song Always Be My Baby - which was originally a Mariah Carey song that David covered during American Idol - came out from the speakers.

We were as one, babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'm lettin' you fly

'Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never die

No..

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Oh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry, no

And I won't beg you to stay

If you're determined to leave girl

I will not stand in your way

But inevitably you'll be back again

'Cause you know in your heart, babe

Our love will never end, no

You'll always be apart of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl

When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oh

(I know that)

You'll be right back, baby

Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time, time

You'll always be apart of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby..

She couldn't help but shed a tear as she heard David performed the song. It was her favourite song and the lyrics were so timely to her situation. Sebastian really was the most romantic and thoughtful husband ever.

She glanced at Shannon and found her shooting a video of her.

"Shannon.. what are you doing?" She laughed a little as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Seb wants me to report to him." Shannon winked.

She just shook her head, still laughing and smiling, her eyes shimmering with happy tears. When he said he was making it up to her, he really truly meant it, and she was so grateful for that.

---

She thought that was the only surprise he had in store for her that night, but she was wrong

After the concert was done she and Shannon went backstage to meet David. Apparently she got VIP backstage passes so they had some privacy with David and his band members with no other fans around them.

David and his band members were so nice. They chatted and took many pictures together. He also mentioned how Sebastian reached out to him through his Instagram just the other night and begged him for tickets and backstage passes, telling him that his marriage depended on them.

Her face reddened as she heard what David said. She couldn't believe Sebastian went as far as contacting David personally to get her tickets and backstage passes. He even told David about the fact that their marriage had some problems. Even though Sebastian didn't tell David the details, but just a vague explanation, she still felt so embarrassed by that. She made a mental note to talk to Sebastian about that. As much as she loved the surprise he had given her, she wasn't comfortable that Sebastian was telling a complete stranger about their situation. Even if the stranger was her idol.

Before she knew it, it was time for them to leave. It was getting really late and she was sure her dad and stepmom wouldn't appreciate her coming home too late.

"Thank you so much for tonight, David, the show was awesome, I had the best time! And thank you for allowing us to see you." She smiled wide as she shook David's hand.

"Oh it's my pleasure, Y/n. By the way, Sebastian asked me to give you something. Hold on." He said as he turned around and went to his dressing room.

He came back and returned carrying a brown package in his hand.

"There you go. I promise I didn't open it." He winked.

"Oh my, I'm really sorry for this David. Sebastian should just send it to me directly." She said as she received the package, which she suspected seemed to be a book.

"Oh it's no problem Y/n. He said he wanted to give you something to close the night and make it perfect for you. What could be more perfect than me giving it to you." David chuckled.

"Thank you again, David. I really appreciate it." She smiled wide.

"No problem, Y/n." David smiled wide.

She entered the limousine that night still reeling from everything that just happened. It felt like a dream come true for her. She couldn't stop smiling until they arrived at her dad's house.

She arrived a little after 1 am. The chauffer dropped off Shannon at a hotel near downtown Poway so she was alone when she arrived.

Starlene was thankfully already asleep, so was her stepmom. Only her dad was still awake, waiting for her to come home.

"Oh Y/n dear, you're home. How was it?" Her dad asked as she came in through the door.

"It was amazing, dad!" She gushed.

She quickly told him about everything including how she met David backstage. But she was too embarrassed to tell him how Sebastian requested a song to David to play for her, so she omitted that part from her story.

"Well, I'm so glad you had a lot of fun. You should do that more often. I rarely see you smile with a twinkle in your eyes like you are now." Her dad smiled.

"Oh Dad. I guess I really needed some me-time. Maybe I'll do it again someday."

"You should. It's good for your mental health." He stated, giving her a meaningful look.

"Yeah, thanks, Dad. How was Starlene? Was she cranky?" She asked in concern.

"A little. She just cried when she was hungry or tired."

"Okay, that's normal. Was she looking for me?"

"Yeah, she wanted to nurse several times and would snuggle on Diane's or my chest. But we just gave her the bottle and she thankfully accepted without much fuss." He explained.

"Okay, that's good. Thank you so much for taking care of her today, dad." She said as she gave him a hug.

"No problem, dear. Now let's go to sleep. I'm really sleepy." He said as he yawned and stretched his body.

"Okay, good night, dad." She smiled and gave him a peck on his cheek.

"Good night, dear." He smiled.

After cleaning herself up and changing into her sleeping attire, she climbed into bed bringing her cellphone and the package that David had given her earlier.

She wanted to send Sebastian a text message after opening the package. She decided not to call him that night because it was dawn where he was, she suspected he would still be asleep.

Her eyes widened as she opened the package and found a novel inside. He had sent her The Notebook. The famous romance novel that told a story of a couple, Noah and Allie, which had been turned into a movie starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

She opened the first page and as usual he had asked her to read the passages he had highlighted. But he also added a little opening greeting.

My dearest Y/n,

You are special.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

I am still yours, my queen, my timeless beauty.

You are, and always have been, the best thing in my life.

You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side just as I have treasured our life together.

You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. I love you, more than you can ever imagine. I always have, and I always will.

What we have is rare. It's too beautiful to just throw it away.

We're meant to be together. We always have been.

We'll never be over.

I'll never leave you. What we have is forever.

We'll find a way to be together.

I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. And, my darling, you will always be mine.

Her heart swelled in happiness and happy tears pooled in her eyes as she read all of the passages he had highlighted. Receiving this from him really was the perfect way to end the day.

As if on cue, her cellphone buzzed. Sebastian had just sent her a message. He was apparently still awake.

Dearest Y/n,

You are my Allie.

And I want to be your Noah.

She couldn't help it anymore and she finally cried upon reading the message.

She realized then how much Sebastian really loved her. But she couldn't shake the thought that if he really loved her, why wouldn't he sacrifice his job for her and Starlene? Why would he choose his job over attending his own daughter's first birthday party, which will not happen a second time ever.

Her mind and heart went to war with each other as she contemplated on what to do. Her heart considered all of the things he had given to her family, all of the flowers he had sent, all of the beautiful quotes he had conveyed to her, and how he had facilitated the best experience ever for her that day.

Her mind however, reminded her that despite everything, he still wasn't going to show up for his own daughter's birthday party. Isn't that a red flag?

Tears continued falling down her cheek as the conflict continued to rage on inside her.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and stared at her cellphone's screen. Her thumb hovering above the reply button.

After several minutes eventually her mind won and she started to type a response.

Dearest Seb,

Thank you so much for such a wonderful day. I had the best time ever! I really appreciate what you have done for me.

I'm sorry but.. I'm not ready to be your Allie yet. I hope you can understand that.

It took only a second after she sent the message for Sebastian to call her.

"Seb.." she picked up the phone and greeted him, her heart pounding hard in her chest.

"Y/n.. my love.. I love you deeply and I hope you know that." He said.

She realized he was still quoting The Notebook and that made her laugh.

"Oh, Seb. You don't need to quote The Notebook anymore." She chuckled.

"Oh, but I do. My words never seem enough for you. I.. I miss you so much, sweetheart. I love you so much and I.. I can barely function without you. I'm sorry sweetheart. Please.. please come back to me." He pleaded.

"Seb.. " she sighed.

"Please honey.. please.." his voice shook and he started to cry it seemed, she could hear his sobs from the other end.

Her heart ached listening to him crying but she knew she needed to stand her ground. She wanted to know how much he was willing to sacrifice for her before she was ready to come back to him.

"Seb.. I.. I'm sorry. But, like I said. Words meant nothing without action." She said slowly.

Sebastian stayed quiet and didn't respond to what she said. Eventually she could hear him sniffle and he sighed.

"I understand, honey. Like Noah said, you are still my queen, my timeless beauty. You are, and always have been, the best thing in my life. And I love you deeply. Just.. just remember that." He said, his voice shook.

"I know, Seb. Thank you." That was all she could say as she felt her heart screamed internally, begging her to say it back to him but her mind prevented her to do it.

"Good night my love. Sweet dreams." He finally said.

"Good night, Seb. And thank you again." She replied.

She hung up the phone feeling empty inside. If what she had done was right, if what she had done was to protect her heart, then why did it feel so painful and wrong? She thought as she laid down on the bed and started to cry.

Eventually she fell asleep, with a hollow feeling in her chest and the knowledge that she might have lost a part of her soul.

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 13th 2023 - 3 pm

It was finally the day of Starlene's birthday. Her dad's house was full of people. All of his neighbours had come bringing many children who were running around on the front lawn, playing on the bouncy castle. Everyone whom she had invited had come. Her brother was there, Shannon was there, and her mother-in-law was there too. The only one who wasn't there was Sebastian.

She felt a pang in her heart as she remembered it. Sebastian had been very apologetic. Being the generous soul that he was, he ended up paying for and arranging everything for Starlene's birthday, from the decorations, the food and even the entertainment. She was grateful for that but she still couldn't shake the sadness in her heart that Sebastian wasn't there.

She was on the front lawn with Starlene and her mother-in-law while everyone around them mingled, nibbled on the snacks provided and generally had some good time.

Starlene was standing on the grass as she leaned down and held both of Starlene's hands, helping her to learn walking. Her grandmother, Sebastian's mom, stood several steps in front of them, encouraging Starlene to walk towards her.

"That's it Starlene.. step by step.. you can do it." Sebastian's mother cooed.

Starlene giggled as she took step after step towards her grandmother. Both her hands held on tightly to her. She tried to slowly let her hand go, to see if Starlene was able to make her first step herself. But the moment she let go, Starlene wobbled and fell down onto the grass.

"That's okay, Starlene. Let's try again." She smiled as she saw Starlene's pout.

She helped her to get back on her feet then started to guide her to walk again.

Suddenly Starlene stopped and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Dada.. " she said.

Her heart seemed to stop as she heard her call her dad. She looked up to see what Starlene was looking at and started to laugh.

Someone in an Elmo costume was walking towards their direction. Leave it to Starlene to call Elmo her dad. She thought in amusement.

She knew she didn't book any entertainment in the form of Elmo. So she was sure this was another of Sebastian's surprises.

Elmo walked closer towards her and Starlene let her hands go. Slowly but surely, she took step after step towards Elmo.

"Dada.. dada.." she continued saying as she walked towards whoever was in the Elmo costume.

She shook her head as she whipped out her cellphone and started shooting a video of Starlene. Her first walk and it was towards Elmo. How so memorable. She chuckled.

Elmo stopped walking and knelt on the ground as Starlene came closer to him. He opened his arms wide and Starlene practically ran towards him. Elmo embraced Starlene in his arms and gave her a tight hug.

"Dada.." Starlene said again, releasing herself from Elmo's embrace and placing her hand on his face.

"Oh Starlene my darling little star. I've missed you so much!" Elmo said.

Her heart seemed to stop as she listened to what Elmo just said.

Could it be..

She almost dropped her cellphone when Elmo took off the top part of his costume.

She closed her mouth with her hand, her eyes widened in surprise, as she looked at the man inside the Elmo costume. The man looked back at her, a familiar smile on his face, a twinkle in his beautiful bright blue eyes. The world seemed to stop as she gazed at the eyes of the love of her life and they stared at each other with so much love and longing.

Chapter 22 >

Taglist @sebsgirl71479 @dhoruwolfie

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastianstan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan fluff

[whinlatter]

reading | listening | writing | spring 2023

wanted to share just a few of the incredible fics i've enjoyed reading in the past few months, some songs i'm loving writing to, and share some writing updates (including a sneak peek of Beasts chapter 4...)

Reading...

perimeter walks by @evesaintyves (remadora, completed multi-chapter, DH) 🦊

truly some of the most artful, delicate and tender fic writing i've ever read - a series of exquisite portraits exploring family and domesticity told through remus and dora's experiences in hiding. let me tell you i will rec this until i am blue in the face (bonus mention to the author's equally excellent it's just what you do to get by, a remus-pov oneshot about his experiences living among the werewolves during HBP, that floored me)

Animals by @turanga4 (remus and firenze friendship oneshot) 🌲

thought this was such an inventive conceit for a piece, beautifully executed, framed around a series of meetings between these two characters throughout remus' life, including in the forest.

something so tender (i can't explain) by @incalculablepower (Romione, oneshot) 💭

'is this the moment?' - man i loved this. it's about daydreams and different ways romione touch before the kiss, and just attends to hermione's hopes and imagination and fantasy life through a series of HBP-DH missing moment vignettes (aka my favourite things ever). there are turns of phrase all over this that made me gasp. huge huge fan of this piece

Lux Aurumque by @saintsenara (Sirius POV, oneshot) 🌅

'Seven dawns that change Sirius Black.' this is a really excellent, moving, driving character study that hollowed me out and has stayed with me long after that first read. a must-read, honestly

Surrender by @greenhousethree (Ginny POV, oneshot, set during DH) 🛏️

ohhhh how I loved this - it explores ginny's experiences of torture and trauma during DH, with some gorgeous hinny moments in there too. this fic has seared into my brain i swear

Birds of Paradise by eldritcher (Dumbledore and Fawkes friendship oneshot) 🪺

i know i've got beasts on the brain at the moment, but this fic blew me away - it's told from fawkes' pov, and it's just this completely brilliant exploration of dumbledore and fawkes' bond but also the politics of revolution. go with it, it's so so worth your time

She Thinks by @mightbewriting (Romione, twoshot, post-DH) 🏡

ron and hermione, building and rebuilding after the war, thinking about families and futures - i'm late to this one but this is just exquisite. also the smut is like strangely moving, can't explain it, just beautifully done and integrated into the arc of the fic. officially obsessed with this

Listening...

desire, i want to turn into you (album) - caroline polachek (whole album is a knock-out, smoke is song of the year fight me. also a dido feature!!)

the record (album) - boygenius (not strong enough is the other song of the year)

today (can't help but cry) - gretel hänlyn (and this is the song of the summer)

boyhood - the japanese house (every time i play this it makes my heart hurt)

free - florence & the machine (it picks me up/it puts me down ❤️‍🔥)

Writing...

wrote a couple of procrastination microfics, then smushed em together edited a smidge and put them up on ao3 as think / hope, a sad lil hinny post-breakup dual pov oneshot. thank you so much for the love for this funny lil fic, i had so much fun putting these together & felt good to work different muscles!

(...and a sneak peek)

now... about these Beasts...

chapter four is very very nearly done (whisper it). unusually for me i am really excited to share this chapter (you know, mixed in with the usual dread, let's not get ahead of ourselves). not to sound too cloying and sincere but spending time in ginny's head is just making me feel so energised and fulfilled at the moment, having a ball writing this. anyhoooo i've put a very small sneak peek below. don't wanna give away too much good stuff but just wanted to share a taste... spoilers below the cut!

‘We tend to think of ourselves like that, don’t we?’ At the window, Graves looks out across the grounds, to the crumbling dry stone walls guiding the empty paths up the mountains. ‘We think we’re the same person forever. We say: this is who I am, this is how I think, this is typically how I behave and respond to the world around  me. We believe, fundamentally, in the fixed and stable self - that we are one person for the duration of our mortal life.’ He turns back to the class.  ‘But what do you all think? Are we just one person in a lifetime? Is there some great, immutable core to a person that dictates who we are throughout the course of our lives? Or might we change, or grow, or be somehow altered by our experiences? Might we be many things? I wonder whether we lack a clear sense of just how much we can change in one lifetime. Perhaps we are the least well placed to track the trajectory, the journey of our own soul, after all. I am not so convinced we see ourselves, our own souls, very clearly — though, of course, it matters that we believe we do.’

#monster post of monsters #literally feel so lucky getting to read such incredible fics including but not limited to the ones listed here #fic rec #writing #beasts #sneak peek #also just fyi themes for this next chapter include philosophy and PAIN #professor graves has big thoughts and ginevra weasley has big beef