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awkwardgtace · 1 year

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Oops I missed that the ask game was for oc 😳

Also 5 and 19 for Sola, Mikhail, and Ian please 😁

you're all good. I mean I am sort of my own OC. So it's valid lol. If anyone else wants to ask me or my oc things, I may not be as honest as the OCs but i'll answer Ask Game

5. Do you have any role models? Tell us a little bit about them.

Goddess Sola: Makes a face trying to remember what that means. Gets excited once the memory comes back. "The little cloud and Alessia are my role models. They both know so much about mortals! They also do a lot of good things. Alessia protects people and the little cloud is always using her powers for others. I want to do that stuff too! Although I usually scare mortals badly, Delphia said I should only meet them if she's around after the last time..."

Human Sola: Looks around so no one is nearby. "I want to be like my mom! She's so pretty and strong. Also takes care of everyone even if they're bigger or smaller than her. I'll be just like her when I grow up! I'll wear pretty long dresses too!"

Every Ian: Fidgets with his hands nervous to be answering anything about himself. Thinks about the question and the people he's met in his life. "...Mik. He stands up for his beliefs and doesn't care if people hate him for it. Even if he couldn't be huge he'd face down anything. I want to be confident and strong like that. Have something I believe in enough to chase after it like he does too."

Streamer AU Ian: Hugs himself as he thinks a little harder. Mik is one, but he does have another role model too. "Mira too. She's been trying really hard to move forward after what she went through. Hearing how bad it was gave me nightmares and she still tries so hard. I want that strength to move forward like her."

Shifter/Giant/human Mikhail: Folds his arms across his chest eventually rubbing his chin. He lets out a sigh before settling on an answer. "I'd suppose my aunt if I have to pick one. The woman can be ferocious and doesn't let anyone abuse their size or power. Although she can be a bit too intense at times. That part I definitely don't envy. She doesn't hesitate to stand up for what's right, doesn't let her thoughts stop her. I need to be more like that."

Alien Mikhail: Has had Ian explain what that terminology means and still barely gets it. Thinks hard about it for long enough it seems like he won't answer. "It would be my teacher that aided me in becoming one of the planet seekers. They had been one for many years and brought many species into our group. I hope to leave a record like them after me."

19. Describe an average day in your life.

Goddess Sola: Excitedly bouncing on her feet and desperately wanting to take the chance to drag you along with her. "I usually go watch the clouds and draw pictures in them! Sometimes I grab one of the others to come with me. Then I go to the mortal realm and make sure the light isn't overwhelming and the clouds have become fun shapes when they aren't bringing a storm. Ash says I hurt storms when I shape those clouds so I had to stop. Sometimes I stop and watch mortals too, they do so many interesting things." She starts to ramble about games she's seen mortal children play. Describing things like tag and hide and seek. The point of the question was lost on her as she just excitedly talks about the things she sees.

Human Sola (Snake in the shed): Frowns as she thinks about it. "Mom and dad say I have to go to school even though the borrowers don't so I do that. Then I come home and play with Luna until mom finds out I didn't do my homework. Luna helps me with it and then we watch the movies he likes until bed time. Sometimes it's too hard for Luna so Ash or Rhys help me too. Oh and the days Felix or Ryder visit are the best! They play fun games and give me new toys.

Borrower Sola (Vamp Del AU): She smiles excited to tell someone all the things she does. Her parents and Delphia would yell at her if they knew. "I sneak around Del's room when she's sleeping during the day. I want to see if I can find anymore hidden things from the past us. Sometimes Vincent finds me and he makes me go back to bed. He's too quiet for being so big. Rhys reads me stories when Vincent finds me though, so I let him find me sometimes. At night the others make me and Luna practice borrowing. Just in case we have to leave here, but I don't wanna leave. I love Delphia and she lives forever so we're safe. I'm a better climber, but Luna is better at getting supplies. After that we play games with Delphia and sometimes she reads us books. They have a lot of weird sounding words, she says it's old English whatever that means. Then I fall asleep and Delphia or the others help me get to our bed."

Human Sola (mafia au): She's excited to meet someone new who wants to hear about her. She thinks hard, but her answer is pretty simple. "I have a human tutor that teaches me what I'd learn at school. Mom and Dad say school isn't safe for me, but that's fine. Then I spend time with Luna in Dad's office. Sometimes I go find my brothers or sister, but everyone else is always so busy. I hope one day I can be busy like them too. At night everyone comes to say hi, but it's too late for us to do much with them. The days they're home are the best. Those days are rare."

Borrower Ian: Sits near his house ready to bolt just in case. Stays incredibly nervous despite the promises he's safe. Giving up his routine is risky, but Mik said it was ok and to be honest and he trusts Mik. "I... I usually start by checking the entrances like Mik taught me. That they're still sealed properly and for any other borrowers who might need help. Then I try to get food, sometimes Mik left some out other times he hasn't woken up yet so I get it myself. The rest of the day I usually spend with Mik doing whatever he does. Sometimes I try to get better at making clothes with the fabric Mik gives me. Or watch the shows on the big screen that make me laugh. I-it's pretty normal for me, but other borrowers would think I'm crazy. I just like not being trapped somewhere all day anymore."

Human Ian (streamer au): Shrugs his shoulders, it's not exciting. He's kind of shocked someone wants to know. "I just play some games for my streams then usually hang out with Mik. Sometimes I sit in while he does his podcast recordings, help out with timings and sound board stuff. Then I teach him about some of the games I streamed. We just hang out, there's been a few times I just send him memes from my phone while sitting in his chest pocket. On some rarer occasions I go play games with Mira, Corus is there too. The guy is insanely good for someone so sleep deprived."

Human Ian (alien au): Hugs himself still trying to figure out what is even safe for him to do each day. "I wake up... eat the food I'm given. Then I just hang out unless Mik needs me. It's still pretty hard to be out around the alien, even worse when the guy walks around as a giant so much." Ian shudders. "Still better than being homeless in the woods. The alien tries too, I'll get used to him eventually... probably."

Shifter Mikhail: Frowns a bit since this is disrupting his average day. It's the middle of a semester and he has work to be doing. "I teach my classes at the university. Stay late for office hours in case a student needs me. Grade papers while there. Come home and often times become Ian's size to spend time with him. When I'm worn out he doesn't mind that I stay a human size and he sits on my chest while I read to unwind. I make a simple dinner that's easy for a borrower to eat without making a mess of themself and then go to sleep." Mikhail has made the active choice to avoid mentioning how annoyed the other professors make him. The times he shifts just enough his chair creaks from someone's annoying conversation topics. The aloof professor never gets to be left alone in peace and quiet while at the school.

Giant Mikhail (streamer au): Nods understanding the curiosity. He'd be curious too. Takes a few minutes to come up with an answer he hopes is good enough. His life is fairly boring outside of the time he helped Corus. "I work on the story of my horror podcast most mornings. Do research when it's time for the news episode. In the afternoon Ian comes by and usually causes some trouble until I put him in my pocket. Sometimes he actually helps. The entire time he's in my pocket he's sending memes to my phone making it vibrate and distract me." Mikhail has a soft smile on his face as he talks about the 'annoying' things Ian does. "Then we just hang out. I read books he plays games. Sometimes he shows me how to play one of his games. Some days I go see Delphia we usually get lunch or dinner. Now and then Corus joins us too."

Alien Mikhail: Thinks about how his routine would best be explained to humans. Frowns as he considers it might sound problematic, but has nothing better to explain himself. "A day for my kind is a bit longer. I usually spend it researching humans through the media I can now understand. I haven't been able to find a good explanation for some things. Like 'yeet' or why people miss vines. From my research nature still has plenty of them. I make meals for Ian and leave them for him to eat as he feels ready too. I try to mimic the lifestyle the humans in the media I've found use to make Ian feel comfortable. I'm not sure it has worked, but trial and error is my only option. I also spend a lot of time making things in the ship easier for him. I have been working on a surprise for a while, I found many humans do things like this and I hope it helps assuage his nerves. I'm sorry I've gotten off topic. Other than research, I write reports on my progress. Currently it's known I've met a human who has agreed to help me. After what I sent back so far many others are excited to learn more about humans, they are quite strange creatures. The blankets were something a lot of people have started to use on my planet." Mikhail seems to stare off, it's a little hard to tell with his eyes a solid color. It's clear he thinks he answered the question sufficiently, even with his bit of off topic additions.

#awkwardanswers #i have so many solas #also really what am i if not my first oc?#so you're totally fine #i might have gone overboard as usual lol #ty ty so much for the ask #oc: ian #oc:mik/mikhail #oc:sola

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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extra 1 for Tedious Joys, with thanks to all the suggestions from people engaged in the discussion on tumblr, your ideas were fantastic and I used all that I could fit in!

Before Lan Qiren left to attend the first discussion conference held after Nie Mingjue’s ascension to the position of Nie sect leader – a notion that still gave Lan Qiren a stomachache merely to think of it – Lao Nie made him promise three times over that he would keep an eye on his painfully earnest, straightforward eldest son and keep him from doing anything foolish.

“Of course I will,” Lan Qiren finally said, exasperated: any more nagging, and he was going to be late. When he’d thought to himself that he’d picked up a wife, he hadn’t really expected this part of it; if anything, he assumed he’d be the one doing the nagging. “You know perfectly well that he’s as dear to me as my nephews! I don’t know why you feel the need to even ask.”

“Your nephews have good self-control, a trait my Nie sect most definitively lacks,” Lao Nie said. “We’re all in agreement that it’s not yet time to challenge Hanhan. What if A-Jue forgets that and, I don’t know, punches him in the face?”

“He won’t,” Lan Qiren said. “He’s a good boy, your son; you’ve told him not to, so he won’t. Anyway, if it really comes to it, I won’t let him.”

Finally, Lao Nie let him leave, and Lan Qiren made his way to the Lotus Pier for the discussion conference. Nie Mingjue and his retinue had arrived shortly before he did, the circles under his eyes and the small signs of mourning he still wore making him look older than he ought to be; there was a scowl fixed on his face that did not disappear entirely even when he nodded to Lan Qiren, although it did soften a little.

Lan Qiren’s heart hurt for him. To manage an entire sect at fifteen – even with support, the pressures of it must be well-nigh unbearable, and it looked as though Nie Mingjue had started using his cultivation to get him through all the nights of missed sleep, as unwise as that approach was in the long term.

It was strange to go to the habitual meeting of the Great Sect leaders, the one they had with each other before they mixed with all the other sect leaders, and bow to Nie Mingjue as if to a peer, rather than to a junior.

Stranger still to see Wen Ruohan do the same, a mocking smile on his lips as he raised his head from the greeting.

“Sect Leader Nie,” he said, and there was almost some sense of satisfaction as he said the unfamiliar words – no one had had to use them when it was Lao Nie, of course. “I bid you welcome, as the newest member to the ranks of leadership among our Great Sects.”

Nie Mingjue did not respond with words the way he had when similar sentiments had been offered by others – no Please give me guidance here, though that was understandable given what the entire cultivation world knew he believed about Wen Ruohan – and contented himself by merely jerking his head again in a nod.

“Your father was a very involved member of our little group,” Wen Ruohan continued, and was he really going to offer Nie Mingjue his condolences for Lao Nie’s death? Propriety demanded he do so, but he’d never cared much for propriety, and given his actions it would be an offense to all sensibility. “One could hardly hope to match him in his passion and enthusiasm in all that he did. I look forward to seeing you...take his place.”

His eyes flickered over Nie Mingjue from head to toe, blatant in its unspoken unspeakable implication, even as Nie Mingjue’s eyes went round with disbelief.

A moment later, it ended up being Lan Qiren’s fist that found its way to Wen Ruohan’s face.

Luckily, Wen Ruohan found it funny - laughing at how he’d managed to break Lan sect discipline, rather than taking offense - and no war was started.

Whether that would last once Lan Qiren reported the substance of the conversation back to Lao Nie, however...

“You know,” Lan Qiren said, staring at the ceiling and wishing it would come down on top of him. “It’s very nice that you’re all such good friends.”

His nephews both bobbed their heads in a polite nod.

“I’m sure Mingjue and Huaisang greatly appreciate it.”

Another nod.

“However, they are now sect leader and sect heir, and we must treat them with the dignity that those positions require.”

A third nod. He was starting to wonder if they’d been replaced by dolls with loose necks.

“This is why they were assigned their very own rooms in our guest quarters, rather than spending their nights in yours.”

“Nie Huaisang will be lonely if he sleeps by himself,” Lan Wangji said, stubborn as ever. “My room is better.”

“Wangji. Yesterday, you chased Huaisang up two separate hills with your sword, sat on him, made him cry, and then wouldn’t let him up until he admitted you were superior in every respect.”

Lan Wangji smiled briefly, a rare and beautiful sight that warmed the heart. “Mm. Deserved it.”

Lan Qiren flailed a little. “Wangji, do you even like him?”

“No.”

“Then why do you care where he sleeps?”

“If he sleeps badly, he will do even worse than he already does,” Lan Wangji said. “Someone might make fun of him.”

“…and what happens then?”

“Bite.”

“Wangji! We’ve discussed this, no biting people. Not even if they’re making fun of your friend!”

Lan Wangji nodded in a way that suggested he was only being agreeable so that Lan Qiren stopped insisting on silly things like Nie Huaisang getting his own bedroom instead of sleeping on the spare bed in Lan Wangji’s and not actually agreeing in the slightest.

They were still working on the biting thing.

Giving up, Lan Qiren turned his gaze to his older nephew.

Lan Xichen squirmed. “…sometimes I go to stay in his rooms instead?”

“You’re not even planning on coming up with an excuse?”

“Lying is forbidden, uncle.”

Lan Qiren pinched the bridge of his nose.

“For this sort of thing, you go to your eldest uncle,” Lan Qiren said flatly, and after a moment of contemplation, Lan Wangji conceded that he had a point.

After all, Lao Nie had been married several times, presumably intentionally, whereas Lan Qiren had ended up with a wife through circumstance and luck.

Lao Nie was a very good wife, though, even if for some reason Lan Wangji was required to refer to him as eldest uncle rather than calling him aunt – though that was mostly his uncle’s preference. Lao Nie thought being called auntie was hilarious.

In retrospect, though, Lao Nie’s tendency to think things were hilarious was a lot less endearing when it was aimed at him.

“Just tell him you like him,” Lao Nie suggested, as if that wasn’t the most ridiculous Nie sect style advice possible. “Tell him you want to spend more time with him.”

Lan Wangji shook his head firmly.

“How is this Wei Wuxian supposed to figure it out, then?”

He wouldn’t. Obviously. The question was how to get rid of the feelings, not how to actually let Wei Wuxian know that they existed.

“I don’t know, I find sex works really well to deal with repressed emotions associated with pining.”

Lan Wangji wanted to die.

Or possibly find and bully Nie Huaisang the way he used to when he was a kid. Not that he would, of course, he was above that, and also Nie Huaisang was really good at getting revenge and he couldn’t risk that happening where Wei Wuxian might see.

“Sex is not a valid solution in all cases,” Lan Wangji’s uncle interjected.

“Ah, Qiren, Qiren. Are you still holding Hanhan against me?”

“Yes, I am. He tried to kill you.”

“So?” Lao Nie shrugged. “That describes basically everyone I ever slept with.”

“Have you ever considered that that may be part of your problem?”

“Don’t act like I’m the only one! Look at Wangji here; the first thing he noticed about this Wei Wuxian character was his excellent fighting skills – a moonlight duel on the rooftops, how romantic –”

“You don’t know what romance is –”

Lan Wangji was just going to go back to his unrequited pining.

It couldn’t be worse than having to listen to this argument again.

Lan Wangji was fighting frantically, but he already knew his sword would not be sufficient.

They were going to burn the library.

All those precious books..!

His uncle had already sent Lan Xichen away with the most important ones, but Lan Wangji didn’t want to lose any of them. These books had been his friends growing up, the source of his strength and the consolation in his loneliness – their pages bore silent witness to his childish tears, the imprints of his dirty fingerprints, the good times and the bad. There were books he had thumbed through a thousand times until he knew them down to the last idiosyncratic quiver in their calligraphy and books he had not yet acquainted himself with, had only seen on the shelves and thought one day. To lose them now, old friend and future friend alike, would be to break his heart.

There was a sound behind him and he spun, already tired, exhausted, and it was Wen Xu behind him, the leader of the invading Wen sect cultivators himself. He was smiling so cruelly, holding a fire talisman aloft like a flare, knowing that Lan Wangji wouldn’t make it in time to stop him –

A hand wrapped itself around Wen Xu’s wrist from behind, freezing the motion.

Freezing not just him, but all the Wen cultivators around him, each one of their faces twisting in horror as they realized that a cultivator dressed in astere mourning white that might be mistaken for the colors of the Lan sect had managed to get through their forces to stand at their master’s side, even if his hands were empty of any weapon.

Their horror quickly turned to agony, and then nothing at all, as the reconstituted Jiwei flew through the air, battering through their swords with overwhelming force and piercing their bodies, as vicious and free as if she were alive – there was nothing that quite compared to the Nie sect’s fierce sabers when unleashed at the beck and call of their masters, a weapon against which regular spiritual weapons had difficulty holding up.

With their bodies fell their fire talismans, their flares, and suddenly Lan Wangji felt hope thudding in his chest: one man could not change the tide of war, but he could change the course of a single battle, especially if he could convince Wen Xu to order a retreat.

If Wen Xu ordered a retreat now –

The library would survive.

“Tell Hanhan that Lao Nie said ‘hello’,” Lao Nie said in Wen Xu’s ear – his face was as pale as a ghost in the fire and moonlight, his lips red as blood and his smile full of viciousness like a slash across his face –and with a single twist he snapped the bone of Wen Xu’s wrist.

“It really isn’t me!” Wei Wuxian protested. “For one thing, didn’t the sightings of old Sect Leader Nie start before I took up demonic cultivation?”

“I don’t think it was you that did it,” Nie Mingjue said, not for the first time. His eyes kept flickering around the room as if seeking help, and his expression, to those that did not know him well, was stormy; Wei Wuxian saw this and clearly panicked, continuing to try to explain.

To those that did know Nie Mingjue well, it was immediately obvious that he was trying very hard not to laugh.

Lan Xichen sympathized.

It wasn’t Wei Wuxian’s fault that it served their purposes for the moment to have it be thought that Lao Nie was a spectre arisen from his grave in search of personal vengeance on Wen Ruohan – it was certainly causing Wen Ruohan no end of agony, judging by the way his strategy got a lot less rational and a lot more frenzied whenever Lao Nie put in an appearance – and if he was even slightly more discreet a personality, they would have simply brought him in on the secret already.

They were planning to – Lan Wangji had insisted, looking pained on his secret beloved’s behalf (secret in the sense that Wei Wuxian didn’t know about it, not secret in the sense that everyone else in their small family knew about it) – but they hadn’t had a chance. Lao Nie had insisted on being there to make things clear, since apparently he’d accidentally-on-purpose bumped into Wei Wuxian a few times in the Cloud Recesses while masquerading as a Lan sect elder so that he could evaluate his nephew-by-proxy’s crush, and he hadn’t yet arrived.

Which led to the current situation of Wei Wuxian being earnest and Nie Mingjue attempting to send mental smoke signals to Nie Huaisang in an effort to have the latter rescue him.

To no one’s surprise, Nie Huaisang was being no help at all.

In fact, his occasional well-timed sobs of “Wei-xiong! I thought we were friends! My father’s corpse! How could you?!” were in fact making things notably worse.

“I didn’t! I really didn’t!” Wei Wuxian yowled.

Lan Xichen was not going to laugh.

He wasn’t.

“And who’s to say the Yiling Patriarch won’t try to take charge of the Nie sect, too..?”

“Well, for one thing, I’m actually alive,” Lao Nie said loudly, and Lan Xichen flinched at first before relaxing. He’d forgotten, somehow, that Lao Nie had been the most shameless member of the last generation; it was no surprise that he, who could be as blunt as his son when he wanted to be, would address the whispered rumors drifting around them directly and without pretense. “Wei Wuxian may be a demonic cultivator who created a conscious fierce corpse, but no one has yet suggested with any plausibility that his abilities extend to living people who were just in hiding – which is a good thing, given how many people here would fall into that categorization.”

There was an awkward silence.

Sect Leader Jin coughed. “No one is suggesting that you’re Wei Wuxian’s puppet, Lao Nie,” he said, even though someone had very clearly been suggesting exactly that and if anyone believed that they had done so within Sect Leader Jin’s home without his knowledge then Lan Xichen was worried about what else they’d be willing to believe. “We’re merely expressing concern regarding his increasingly reckless actions – and on behalf of the Wen sect, no less! Especially with him having custody of such a powerful tool as the Tiger Seal, it is a little suspicious…”

“Wait, are you suggesting that you think Wei Wuxian has been possessed?” Lao Nie said. “By Hanhan? That’s ridiculous; they’re nothing alike. Wei Wuxian attended the hunt at Phoenix Mountain and didn’t hit on me once, there’s no way Hanhan is possessing him.”

Sect Leader Jin’s eye twitched.

Lan Xichen did not smile, but it was a challenge. Truly there was no one quite like Lao Nie when he was in full swing.

“Still, if people are having that sort of nonsense float around, I think it makes perfect sense for me to go check up on him to see how he’s doing,” Lao Nie continued. “I’m a respected member of the previous generation, and no one knows Hanhan better than me. Better still, I’ll take Qiren with me; we’ll make a holiday of it – it’s the least we deserve, really, now that we’re both retired sect leaders.”

“I suppose it would be more appropriate to send someone removed from active politics,” Lan Qiren said, voice a little toneless and neutral as always. “That would allow us to avoid any unfortunate implications that other sects were seeking to utilize the bad reputation of demonic cultivation to extract the Tiger Seal for their own purposes.”

Lan Xichen’s uncle was a renowned teacher, but equally well known for his inability to read the subtle nuances in social situations – no one else could have gotten away with just saying that when everyone was painfully aware that it was the subtext of Sect Leader Jin’s actions.

Though, actually, it was possible his uncle just hadn’t realized it was, in fact, meant to be subtext.

“I think that makes perfect sense,” Lan Xichen interjected before Sect Leader Jin – or Jin Guangyao, for that matter – could say anything. His sworn brother had never entirely forgiven Lao Nie for showing up at the last possible moment to murder Wen Ruohan personally before he could claim his head himself, even though the fame he had won for being their spy had still been sufficient to get him a spot in the Jin family, and as a result he was inclined to use his clever tongue to oppose Lao Nie just because he could. “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Wuxian is a member of your sect, and therefore you have primary charge of him. Would you be willing to take Lao Nie and my uncle with you when you go to see him to act as impartial judges?”

“But I don’t want to be a third wheel on their old people sex honeymoon!” Jiang Cheng blurted out.

There was another moment of silence, and then Lao Nie burst out in howling laughter.

Nie Mingjue followed suit only an instant behind him, and of course once Nie Mingjue was laughing then there was no hope for Lan Xichen; he’d never been able to resist Nie Mingjue’s laughter, so rare after he’d become sect leader. Within moments, the tense atmosphere Sect Leader Jin had so carefully cultivated had been utterly shattered and the entire room was sobbing with hilarity, excluding only Lan Qiren who was scowling at all of them and Lan Wangji whose laughter was entirely in the way his eyes were crinkled in the corners.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Qiren said icily as his former student cowered in front of him. “I will have you know that Lao Nie and I are not in a sexual relationship –”

“Wait, you’re not?” Sect Leader Jin blurted out, clearly despite himself, and that just set the whole room off again.

“Welcome to the Unclean Realm,” Lao Nie said.

“Since when do former sect leaders act to greet people at the door?” Wei Wuxian said, grinning at him: they had gotten on splendidly ever since the whole ‘did I resurrect you from the dead by accident’ question had resolved, and Lao Nie helping him out of the tough spot with the Wen sect by arranging his marriage to Lan Wangji had sealed his approval of him forever.

That was why he was arriving with the Lan sect delegation, after all, although Jiang Cheng had kicked his heels around at the entrance in order to ambush him – he wanted to ask some questions about Jiang Yanli’s upcoming wedding plans – and of course the Jin sect had gotten suspicious that they were up to something and waited as well so they were now coming in as one big group.

At least it gave Lan Xichen some time to chat with Jin Guangyao, who seemed much happier to be spending time away from the rest of his family; based on what he’d overheard of their conversation, they were scheming to get Nie Mingjue to relax a bit more and let his father temporarily take up sect leader duties again now that he and Lan Qiren were spending half the year at the Unclean Realm.

“I’m on punishment duty,” Lao Nie said, looking delighted by it.

Which, hey, seemed weird, but based on everything Lan Wangji had told him about the former sect leader Nie (and his own mysterious ‘eldest uncle’, as he’d been known while he was at the Lan sect) and his former exploits, it seemed very in character for the man. And, well, Wei Wuxian wasn’t really in any position to throw stones…

“Eldest Uncle,” Lan Xichen said, looking over. “Did you do something to irritate Uncle again?”

“I didn’t! It was something different, actually, which I’m not at liberty to disclose to you.”

Oh, now Wei Wuxian was curious, and so was everyone else – Jiang Cheng sent him a ‘you don’t have shame, why don’t you ask’ sort of look at once – and since he did not, in fact, have shame, he asked, “Are you sure? What could it possibly be that you did?”

“Oh, Xiao Nie knows what he did,” an old woman in Nie sect colors said as she passed by. “And he’s going to stand there until he admits that he was wrong.”

“I’ll be here until I collapse,” Lao Nie explained proudly, but by that point everyone had stopped caring about whatever new thing he’d done in light of the newest twist.

“Did she just call you Xiao Nie?” Jiang Cheng said, sounding betrayed.

“…yes? She’s my great-grandaunt, she can call me anything she likes?”

“It’s just wrong,” Wei Wuxian agreed. “Isn’t it just wrong?”

“It is a bit wrong,” Jin Zixuan said, looking perturbed.

“Very wrong, even,” Lan Xichen said. “I didn’t know anyone did that.”

“No one does,” Lao Nie said. “Now stop gossiping and go inside already!”

“They say married couples start to act like each other,” Wei Wuxian said to Lan Wangji, who looked amused. “There really seems to be some truth to it – do you think he’ll start reciting Lan sect rules next? Ooh, or musical cultivation?”

Finding out that Lan Qiren was apparently the musical cultivation equivalent of a mad scientist in his spare time had been the happiest moment in Wei Wuxian’s life.

“Just wait until you see what Uncle is like when he’s drunk,” Lan Wangji said, and stop. What?

That was a thing?

Wei Wuxian had to make that happen right away.

#mdzs #lan qiren #sect leader nie #lan xichen #lan wangji #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #wei wuxian #my fic #my fics #tedious joys #extras #yes it's extra no 1 #because there is a second extra #with a very different tone #also to be posted today but later in the afternoon

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lailoken · 2 years

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I've been practicing a lot of folk magic lately, but whenever I post about it with the "traditional witchcraft" tag (or something similar), I get people calling me a fluffy witch. Although I'm still practicing the Craft, I don't want to post about it anymore, and I definitely don't want to call myself a folk or trad witch. Any advice? I feel comfortable asking you since you're one of the kindest people I've seen in this community.

Hello there. 🌿

First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel ashamed. Though, I’m honored you feel safe coming to me with this.

I don’t know anything about you or your practice, so I can’t really say anything about that one way or another, but unless a person’s Craft is explicitly harmful (ie appropriating indigenous practices, putting innocents in danger, etc.) I generally don’t see the point of trying to confront it. And I certainly don’t think it’s right for someone to be put down or humiliated for their practices. Speaking for myself, I would get nothing out of that.

Even if I come across someone using magical practices that are clearly hastily synthesized from a mediocre TV show, I still don’t feel the need to make them feel badly or assert my superiority over them. If it was being labeled as “ancient” knowledge or some such, then I might feel compelled to gently point out that it is, in fact, not ancient, but that’s different than coming after someone with untempered spite. Unfortunately, it seems like people think that if they’re witnessed putting a “lesser” practitioner in their place, they will be seen as a more powerful mage themselves. But even if that worked, strangers on the internet thinking a person is powerful doesn’t actually make them so.

All that said though, my advice is this:

Keep reading, studying, experimenting, and practicing, for your own sake. While I realize that it’s uncomfortable and stressful to have people making fun of/attacking you, it truly is their own problem, and not yours. Which isn’t to say that people will never have valid advice or criticism for you—after all, sometimes it’s very helpful to be informed that something you believe/do comes from misinformation or misunderstanding—but as a rule of thumb, if the person trying to educate you is raging or being actively cruel, their concern likely has very little to do with actually teaching you.

In the meantime, if posting about these practices with certain tags is drawing unpleasant folks to you, then maybe consider posting them without those tags for the time being. Or at the very least, you could do something like turn off anonymous messages.

Most importantly of all though, be honest, kind, and earnest with yourself, and your path will take you where it’s meant to. If your practices is improving your life, and isn’t hurting you or anyone else, then that is enough reason to continue with it. Plus, like most things, magical efficacy is a journey that requires time and patience, so give yourself the chance to learn and grow.

Best of luck to you. 🖤

#anonymous #ask

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roonilwazlibimagines · 4 years

Text

Worst of You - Sirius Black Imagine

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader Word Count: 3.6k Blurb: Sirius continues to treat her badly, but she is so in love with him it doesn’t matter. Based on ‘Worst of You’ by Maisie Peters A/N: Toxic relationship, a few swears

Masterlist

“I can’t believe you!” She stormed in front of him as she made her way to his dormitory.

“You can’t believe me? How do you think I feel?” His voice was louder than hers, it always was.

“How do you think I feel?” Her voice was shrill and he was glad her back was towards him; the roll of his eyes only would have made her madder.

“You always do this.” He slammed the door behind him as they walked into this dormitory. No one would dare to enter.

“Only because you make me.” She was tense and she knew it was wrong to accuse him. He probably had a valid excuse.

“Why do I always get the blame for this?” His voice was still booming and as she sat down on his bed and let out a large sigh he started to regret allowing his voice to get so loud.

“Because you always do this to me Sirius. You always ignore me and it’s embarrassing. It seems everyone notices but you.” He sat down next to her and also let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, love. I just really wanted to talk to James about our next quidditch match.”

“But you always do it.” She pouted her lip and Sirius kissed her gently.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m an idiot. I promise next time it’ll be different.” He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you.” She looked up at him and as he smiled back down she had forgotten what had made her mad in the first place.

“Shall we go back down?” He removed his arm from her waist and she stood up and followed him out of the room.

“How did it go?” Lily already knew the answer.

“Good, he promised not to do it again.” She smiled brightly as Lily attempted to give a reassuring smile.

The two of them along with James and Sirius had a free period to start their day and as the other two left for class, they moved closer to each other. The conversation began again and she grabbed Sirius’ hand smiling up at him. As James and Lily began their own conversation she attempted to start her own with Sirius.

“Did I tell you about how I ruined my robes?”

“Yes.” He sighed as he took his hand away from hers to rest his chin upon.

“What about my potions essay that I realised I had done completely wrong right before I handed it in?” She was smiling up at him and she took his lack of an answer as a no and began her story.

Halfway through her story Sirius began to laugh and not knowing what was so funny about Professor Slughorn giving her an extra day to complete her essay she stopped and looked at him confused.

“James you are a git.” He couldn’t stop laughing and she admired the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. She watched him get into the conversation story and the excitement in his voice was enough to stop any anger.

“Are you two going to the party this weekend?” Sirius beamed at James’ question.

“Of course I am.” He loved to party.

“I don’t know.” She did not like to party.

“Oh come on love, it will be fun.” He said that every time.

“I never have fun.” He always leaves her by herself.

“I promise we’ll have the best time, together.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she leaned into his chest.

“You always say that.” She let out a large sigh.

“Because I’m a good boyfriend.” He chuckled and she playfully rolled her eyes.

“Do you promise?” She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

“I promise.” Surely this time she wouldn’t leave embarrassed and all alone.

...

“Are you not going to write anything?” Although he was whispering she could still hear Remus’ question while she attempted to get everything down.

“No.” He scoffed and sat back in his chair.

“Why?” She saw him give Sirius a confused look.

“Love, will you please share your notes with me?” She was about to roll her eyes at him and tell him that he should have been taking notes instead of relying on her, but then she saw the worried look on his face and the little lines on his forehead and instead, she smiled at him.

“Of course.” He thanked her and she couldn’t help but stare as his face changed to a look of relief.

“That’s why.” She didn’t hear his response to Remus. She didn’t see the smirk or the way he nudged his shoulder. She didn’t notice Remus shaking his head or the way Sirius chuckled down at her. How could she when she was still caught up in the way Sirius looked at her?

“You’re so smart.” He placed his head in his palm and stared at her making her blush.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him as she continued to write her notes.

“What are you doing this afternoon?” His stare remained.

“I think I’m going to the library, I have a few things to catch up on.” She glanced up at him and couldn't stop the smile forming on her face.

“I’ll come too, I have a transfiguration worksheet to do.” She nodded and went back to writing notes.

“I’ll meet you at the library at four.” She smiled as she walked to her next class.

“I’ll be there.” He winked at her and she had to look away.

...

She was there with five minutes to spare. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there at fifteen minutes past and there was no sign of him thirty minutes after they arranged to meet. At a quarter to five she heard someone walk in.

“Hi love.” He stood in front of the desk. She went to yell at him, tell him he was late and he always does this, but she could tell he was excited and she wanted to know why.

“What’s wrong?” Her anger vanished.

“James and I were just talking about an idea and I really wanted to work on it so we could finish it tonight.” He was talking very fast.

“Is that why you are late?” She tried not to sound accusing.

“Remember that transfiguration worksheet I told you about? Is it okay if you do it for me? I’m sorry I just really want to work on this and I knew you were already doing homework.” He ignored her question and pulled the parchment out of his bag.

“Uh, sure.” He pushed the sheet in front of her.

“Thank you so much love, I’ll see you at dinner.” He was gone just as quickly as he came. She sighed as she looked down at the sheets in front of her. He forgot to mention there was more than one.

...

As she walked in the common room she was met with him and Remus sitting on the lounge in front of the fire.

“I finished it.” Sirius beamed when he saw her and stood up to give her a hug.

“Thank you so much my love.” He took it out of her hands and looked at the finished work.

“I can’t believe you did that for him.” Remus tried not to sound bitter.

“Well he wanted to be with James, so it’s fine.” She shrugged her shoulders as Remus gave her a sad smile. She didn’t hear Remus ask where James was and she didn’t see Sirius kick his shin or hear Remus groan. H

“Shall we go to dinner then?” Sirius looked at the two of them giving Remus an odd look.

...

“What about you? You’ve been quiet for most of the night.” Remus nudged her shoulder as she pulled her gaze away from Sirius.

“What about me?” If she was being honest she didn’t really know what they were talking about

“Are you even coming to the party?” Lily asked her.

“Uh, yeah.” She looked at Sirius hoping he would say something. Everyone smiled at her response and this time she didn’t miss Sirius’ scoff.

“What?” She looked at him in confusion and tried to grab his hand under the table.

“You’ll be there for a whole half hour.” His hand remained flat on his thigh.

“What is that meant to mean?” She knew exactly what it meant.

“I mean, I always have to drag you to a party and every time you don’t enjoy it and then get mad at me for enjoying myself.” Everyone began to focus on their food.

“Get mad at you for enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t get angry at you for enjoying yourself. I get angry at you for ignoring me the whole night.” Maybe she shouldn't expect him to be with her the whole night.

“Well maybe I don’t want to be around my clingy girlfriend the whole night.” Her mouth moved faster than her brain.

“Well then maybe you don’t need a girlfriend at all.” She stood up and stormed off.

She walked into the Common Room and turned around when she didn’t hear the door close, scoffing when she saw who it was and almost running to her dormitory.

“Wait.” He grabbed her arm and she was forced to face him.

“What?” She hated how sad he looked.

“I didn’t mean it.” He looked down and she sighed.

“You always do this to me.” Her voice was shaky and hot tears of embarrassment threatened to fall.

“I know and I promise I won’t do it again.” His voice was desperate and she hated how it pained her.

“You always say that and I fall for it everytime!” She pulled her wrist out of his hand and sat on the lounge.

“I know, but you have to hear me out. I hate seeing you by yourself having the worst time while I’m having fun. I just want you to relax and enjoy yourself.” He grabbed her hand and she didn’t pull away.

“I’m sorry.” Her breathing was uneven and she kept sniffling.

“It’s okay love.” He pulled her into her chest and she tried to stop crying.

“I’ll come to the party.” He kissed the top of her head. “And I promise I’ll enjoy myself.” He hugged her tighter.

...

“Hey, Sirius,’ her hand suddenly became cold as he pulled away to turn around, ‘did you finish that transfiguration worksheet?” She couldn’t help the way her lips twitched as she smiled.

“I’m assuming you didn’t?” She mimicked Marlene’s giggle, envying the way her small and cute nose scrunched up.

“I’m offended you think that.”

“Here, I’ll give you mine,” he searched through his papers, “but you owe me.” As she looked between them she missed the wink he gave her and the way she bit her lip before they continued walking to class.

...

“Can you please pass me the acromantula blood venom?” Dramatic as always, his sigh filled her ears as he grumbled something she couldn’t make out. Without even looking at what Sirius had given her she poured it in, ready to apologise before the smell of smoke surrounded them and a shrill shriek left her mouth.

“Are you serious?” Sirius’ booming voice made her heart drop as she realised the potion had exploded. Slughorn allowed them to go to the bathroom to clean up and she raced to keep up with him.

“Sirius.” She was trying to wipe the potion away from her eyes. “Sirius.” She had to walk double her speed to catch up and as she went to say his name for a third time he cut her off turning around and replying sharply, “What.”

“I’m sorry.” Her tone contrasted to his and she tried to stop the tears as he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Do you know how embarrassing that was?” His teeth were gritted and as he seethed she flinched away.

“Well maybe if you had passed me the right ingredient.” She rolled her eyes back.

“Maybe if you were paying attention to what you were doing.” He was trying to remove the potion from his hair.

“Maybe if you actually helped me instead of making me do all the work.” His jaw clenched and before he walked away he sharply replied, “I cannot be fighting with you about this.” “Are you seriously walking away from me?” She tried to catch up.

“Yep.” He didn’t look back.

“Sirius, stop.” But her feet stopped moving and all she could do was stare in disbelief. She composed herself as she walked to the bathroom to clean up. He was just upset that the potion exploded. It was her fault anyway.

“Hey, are you okay? Sirius seemed really angry.” James had already organised her things and were passing them to her as she entered the classroom to retrieve her books.

“It’s fine, it was just a bit embarrassing.” She laughed it off.

“Are you sure? When he came back he wouldn’t talk to us.”

“That’s just Sirius, you know how he is,” James laughed awkwardly, “and besides, it was my fault.” She ignored the concerned look James gave her.

...

At dinner there was no seat saved for her. She sat besides Lily and across from Remus. Sirius was two seats and across from her making it impossible to apologise.

“So I heard you guys had an incident in potions?” Peter snickered as James’ head hit his palm. He stared right at her and the intensity of his gaze made her look down.

“Yeah, it was my fault, I guess I’m not very good at potions.” She shrugged her shoulders and played with her food. She didn’t miss Sirius’ scoff, but she couldn’t hear what he muttered under his breath. “Sorry, did you say something?”

“It wasn’t to you.” He smiled sarcastically at her and she knew she was making it worse.

“Sorry, it’s just that you had a lot to say to me before and I just assumed-” She trailed off as he stood up and stormed out. She stood up instantly and followed him to the Common Room.

“Did you not understand that me storming away was a sign I didn’t want to speak to you?” He stopped walking allowing her to grab his wrist.

“I’m sorry, what more do you want?”

“Well you don’t sound sorry.” His jaw was clenched but the fire was making his eyes sparkle again and she suddenly forgot everything she wanted to say.

“I really am, I should have been more focused and I know how it embarrassed you, maybe you should get a new partner.” Her voice was now soft and letting go of his wrist she suddenly couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“I’m glad you understand,” he kissed the top of her head, “but why would I want a new potions partner when this one gets me the top marks?” He smirked at her and she kissed him.

“Thank you, I couldn’t imagine having a different partner.” She giggled as he held her close to his chest and she was bursting with love and adoration for the boy in front of her. She wanted this moment to last forever.

...

“You cheater!” The voice was soft and her heart tugged when she heard the familiar deep laugh. She made her way over to the four sitting on the Common Room floor.

“I am offended.” Despite his back towards her she could see the hand he put on his chest as Marlene softly punched his shoulder.

“Hi.” She stood there with her arms crossed as James and Lily greeted her making Sirius and Marene turn around.

“How was the library?” Sirius and Marlene turned around again as Lily questioned her.

“I finished the essay!”

“See I knew you could do it, I’ll copy it off you tomorrow.” Sirius smiled at her and she was so focused on how soft Sirius’ lips looked she didn’t even notice how James rolled his eyes.

She went to sit next to Sirius and tried to ignore the way he moved closer to Marlene. “Are you playing?” James was dealing the cards.

“It’s better if there are four players, the cards are distributed more equally.” She couldn’t help but stare at the way his lips moved when he talked.

“Do you want to play?” James asked again, directing it at her.

“No it’s okay.” She shrugged her shoulders. She wasn’t too keen on playing exploding snap and at least this way she was able to watch Sirius and notice the way he bit his lip whenever he was about to win and the way he seemed to beam whenever he did.

...

“For the hundredth time, I’m sorry.” She chose to ignore his eye roll and let out a huff.

“You promised.” She was glad they were in his dorm so no one could hear them.

“And things changed, I can’t help it.” They were millimeters away from each other.

“This always happens.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” His voice rose.

“It shouldn’t be that hard to be there for your girlfriend.” She grabbed her things and walked out without letting him get a word in. Breathing heavily she made her way to her dorm.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” She grumbled out an answer as she threw her things and herself on the bed. She felt Lily’s hands on her back as the bed dipped.

“Is it Sirius?”

“No,” she replied too quickly, “It’s fine.” She got herself up and asked Lily to help her get ready for the party tonight. It didn’t matter that Sirius was going to get excessively drunk or wasn’t going to go in with her.

...

“You look amazing.” Lily was beaming as they finished getting ready but she could only give a small smile in return. “You know,” she took a deep breath, “we are a bit concerned about you and Sirius.”

“We are fine, Lily.” Through gritted teeth she replied instantly.

“Why isn’t he waiting for you then like he promised?”

“He doesn’t need to be with me all the time, it’s just a party.” A wave of guilt waved over her as she rolled her eyes.

“But-”

“Lily, let’s just go.” They made their way downstairs and found their way to the Marauders, minus Sirius. The room was dark and the Common Room was as loud as ever. She attempted to locate him in the mix of students, but she struggled to see. She attempted to make conversation with the rest of the Marauders, but found herself too distracted trying to locate her boyfriend. She didn’t want to fight with him anymore, ever again.

“Are you okay?” She couldn’t look Remus in the eye. She had found Sirius. He was in the corner with Marlene. Kissing Marlene.

“Uh, yeah.” She quickly looked at Remus and gave him a reassuring smile. It was dark, she probably saw wrong. They were probably drunk. There was no need to make a big deal out of it. But Remus was not assured and as he looked over to where she was staring he understood. He was at a loss for words as he looked at her stare at Sirius with an empty expression missing the way her eyes slightly widened as Sirius finally made eye contact with her. Neither drew their eyes away from each other. She expected him to walk over, apologise and beg for her forgiveness, but her heart dropped as he walked over to James without acknowledging her.

“Do you mind getting me a drink?” She remembered Remus was there and put on a smile as she nodded and went to get him a drink allowing her to miss the conversation between Remus and Sirius.

“What the fuck?” Remus pulled on Sirius’ shoulder with so much force it made James jump to defend Sirius.

“What?” The hurt in Sirius’ face almost made Remus feel bad.

“How could you do that to her?”

“What is going on?” James stood in between his two friends hoping to defuse something that was soon going to explode.

“He kissed Marlene.”

“So?”

“Sirius.” The rest of the Marauders and Lily looked at him in disappointment.

“She saw.”

“You can’t keep treating her like this.” Everyone was turned to Sirius and they struggled to look him in the eye.

“What do you want me to do?” He sighed and dramatically motioned his arms. There was a lack of sincerity in his voice.

“You need to talk to her.” As Remus finished he turned around to find her with his drink and he wondered how long she had been there.

“Of course.” No one heard what Sirius said under his breath, but they saw him roll his eyes. James gave him a look which made him shake his head and sigh and he grabbed her hand and walked her to his dorm.

“Sirius.” The calmness of her voice shocked him, but it only made him more angry.

“What?” She flinched at his harsh tone.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“To talk.” She wanted to hear him say it.

“About what?” He paused.

“I kissed Marlene.”

“I know.”

“I was drunk, I mean I still am, but I’m sobering up now and-”

“It’s okay.” She put a hand on his shoulder.

“Why aren’t you angry? You should be yelling at me and screaming and…” They both knew how it finished.

“Fighting doesn’t help anything.” The sincerity in her eyes made his heart skip a beat.

“But I technically cheated, shouldn’t you want to break up with me?”

“No.” Her voice became louder. He smiled down at her and tried to relax his shoulders under her touch. “I love you too much,” he leaned down to kiss her, “we can make this work. We always do.”

“I love you. You are too good for me.” She smiled into the kiss and although she could taste the lipstick she was just grateful they weren’t fighting anymore.

506 notes · View notes

melanielocke · 3 years

Text

Love will tie the Tourniquet

After some very valid criticism of the Sanctuary scene and the very limited canon Thomastair content I figured I’d write a scene where they talk it out and Thomas apologizes. I wrote this rather quickly and didn’t edit much so sorry for any mistakes.

Title is from “Tourniquet” by Breaking Benjamin which is definitely an Alastair song (although I find the lyrics difficult to interpret). I think it’s from the POV of someone who is struggling with something and realize love won’t fix them, but also believe nothing will. Love will tie the tourniquet and suffocate me.

CW for period typical racism and homophobia, implied PTSD, mentions of bullying

Alastair was surprised to hear someone knock on the door. His mother was still on bedrest and wouldn’t be receiving any visitors and certainly no one would want to see him. He opened the door to see Thomas Lightwood in the door, hatless as always, snow had fallen in his hair. Even covered in snow Thomas was a beautiful sight to behold. Alastair tried to stop staring, but wasn’t quite sure how. Why was he here, after everything? Alastair had taken his time to think through what happened, but had arrived at the same conclusion, it was impossible. In retrospect, he wasn’t even sure Thomas liked him that much. Like Charles, he probably just saw someone who could fulfill his needs. After all, Thomas had seemed quite disappointed when Alastair had refused to take things any further than kissing in the Sanctuary.

‘Good afternoon,’ Thomas said awkwardly after a silence. ‘Can I come in? I… I thought we should talk.’

A bit hesitant, Alastair let him in and took his coat. He asked Risa to make them some tea, and brought Thomas into the parlor.

‘What did you want to talk about?’ Alastair asked.

‘I wanted to apologize,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘Why? You have nothing to apologize for.’

‘I do,’ Thomas said. ‘I was angry with you because of that rumor, but that gave me no right to publicly humiliate you. I treated you terribly, and you didn’t deserve that.’

Alastair wasn’t sure what to make of this. It had hurt, badly, the way Thomas had spoken to him, but he’d told himself over and over again that this what he deserved.

‘Didn’t I?’ Alastair asked. ‘I was awful at school, perhaps less so to you, but still. I can’t imagine why you’d even want to be around me.’

‘Because I forgive you,’ Thomas said.

Alastair stared at him, eyes wide. He tried to hold back the tears, but wasn’t sure he could.

‘Why? Why would you forgive me? I thought you hated me.’

Thomas looked confused. ‘After the Sanctuary? After we kissed?’

Alastair sighed. ‘Charles kissed me many times, we did more than that, and he didn’t love me. He just thought I was convenient and I could fulfill his needs.’

It had been mostly about sex with Charles, and it had taken him so long to realize that it didn’t have to be like that. He’d given Charles everything he could, hoping that perhaps someday he’d receive love and affection back.

Thomas’ mouth fell open. ‘You… you thought I would be like that? That I only wanted you for physical intimacy? Why would you think that?’

‘What else was I supposed to think?’ Alastair snapped, trying but failing to hold back the tears. ‘You wanted to kiss me only moments after you said I deserved to be hated. And because I wanted you, because I love you, I gave in. You wanted to keep me a secret, you were ashamed of liking me, so ashamed you couldn’t tell anyone, not even people who would not mind that you liked men. Just like Charles.’

I couldn’t have told them how I felt about you. Thomas’ words echoed in his head, and it was worse than Charles being ashamed of liking men. At least he understood Charles’ fears, even when it did not justify how badly Charles had treated him.

‘I never meant… I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry, and I said some stupid things. But I don’t want to keep you secret. There were so many things I should have said to you then, and I’m sorry I messed it up so badly. You do not deserve to be hated and I should never have said otherwise.’

Alastair wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He was desperate for affection, always had been, that was why he’d given so much to Charles, but how could he be sure Thomas wasn’t going to be the same?

‘Why not? Did I not cause you and your family terrible pain?’

Alastair was crying now and to his surprise Thomas came to sat down next to him, awkwardly putting his hands around him. Alastair pushed him away.

‘Please… please don’t.’

Thomas backed away as if he’d been burnt.

‘Physical affection isn’t easy,’ Alastair tried to explain.

He wasn’t used to hugging or even being touched at all in a non sexual way. Cordelia tried often to show her affection physically and he was grateful, but it just didn’t always work for him. Sometimes a touch could burn, be so overwhelming he only got worse.

‘What do you need?’ Thomas asked. ‘How can I help?’

‘Just keep talking,’ Alastair said. ‘Please. Tell me how you really feel. Be honest with me. If you… If you don’t really love me, it’s alright. I just need to know. Because I don’t understand anymore. Do I deserve to be hated? To be loved? I don’t get it.’

Thomas hesitated. ‘I was wrong. I was grieving and I was pushing these feelings away and I took it all out on you. But that was no excuse. You do not deserve to be hated, not when you regret what you did so much, and you do not deserve to be treated the way we… the way I treated you. And I’m so sorry. I think I do love you, I just never knew what to do with those feelings so I hid them. But I’m not going to hide anymore. I’m not ashamed of loving you.’

Alastair wiped the tears from his eyes. ‘Are you serious?’

‘I told Christopher, and he took it well. Or, well, he said he already knew and was under the assumption everyone already knew and we just didn’t talk about it. And I told my parents and Eugenia.’

Alastair hesitated. ‘Did you tell them I like men?’

‘No,’ Thomas said quickly. ‘Just about me, and how I feel. And that I’d at least like to have you as a friend, even if you weren’t interested in more.’

‘And your family, they accepted you?’

‘They were very kind and supportive, although my mother did say I might be worse at this whole romance thing than my father.’

Alastair frowned. ‘What did your father do?’

Thomas laughed, and Alastair could only think how beautiful his laugh was, how it lit up his face. ‘As you know, my mother was a servant before she became a shadowhunter, and my father decided to regularly ask her for scones, which he doesn’t like, so he could see her when she brought them. He then hid them under his bed.’

Alastair burst out laughing. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he had no right to laugh about the people he’d brought such shame to, but at the same time he couldn’t imagine this happening. If Gideon Lightwood disliked scones so much, why not ask for literally anything else?

‘He also accidently blurted out his intentions of marrying my mother in her presence before he even proposed,’ Thomas added. ‘I’m not sure which part is worse, but it does make for good stories.’

‘I’d say the scones are worse,’ said Alastair, taking a sip from his tea.

‘You’re very beautiful,’ Thomas said suddenly. ‘When you laugh. Also when you don’t laugh, but I like seeing you laugh. You always seem so sad.’

Alastair looked Thomas in the eye. ‘Really? You think I’m beautiful?’

‘Of course I do, who wouldn’t? I love your hair now that you’ve dyed it back to black.’

Alastair felt the tears coming back, and Thomas looked startled. ‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘No, it’s just… No one has told me I’m beautiful. And no one has told me they like my hair. It wasn’t an easy decision to dye it back. I didn’t want to pretend to be something I’m not anymore, but I thought everyone preferred the blonde.’

‘I’ve always liked dark hair, and it suits you well. And I’m glad you’re more comfortable with it. I guess I have no idea what it’s like, to be judged for the color of your hair or your skin.’

‘That’s the second part of what happened at the academy, what I hadn’t told you yet,’ Alastair said sadly. ‘No one there looked like me. They latched onto the rumors about my father, of course but they also treated me differently for being Persian, made fun of my features, my language… I thought it would get better if I adapted more to what they wanted.’

‘Alastair, I’m so sorry,’ Thomas said, reaching out his hand as if to touch him, but retreating. He probably remembered Alastair’s warning, but right now he did want to be touched. Now he knew Thomas did care for him, even if he had an odd way of showing it sometimes.

So Alastair leaned into him, resting his head against Thomas’ chest. It was comforting to feel his chest rise and fall with his breath. Perhaps he did like to be touched sometimes, but only if the other person loved him. There were very few people who did, and Alastair wasn’t so certain if Cordelia loved him anymore.

‘Is this alright?’ Thomas asked, putting a hand around him.

‘It is. It’s actually nice. But Tom, how can we make this work, if your friends still hate me?’

‘Christopher doesn’t,’ Thomas said. ‘He is willing to give you a chance. All you have to do is help him out with his experiments, show some interest, and he’ll like you. Lucie is going to adore you, I’m sure of it. As for James and Matthew… I’m not sure, but they don’t get to decide who I like or don’t like. For so long I tried to hate you out of loyalty to Matthew, but ultimately that’s his issue and not mine.’

‘But what if you lose your friends because of me?’ Alastair asked. ‘I would never want you to lose people you love for me.’

Thomas put his hand in Alastair’s hair, and Alastair thought about how Thomas had said he loved his hair. He’d never considered someone might. Charles had certainly preferred his hair blonde. He had been the one to suggest dyeing it.

‘That would be their loss,’ Thomas said. ‘You deserve to be loved too, Alastair. I will tell James and Matthew when they get back, and if they decide not to accept it, then perhaps they’re not very good friends.’

Alastair was surprised to hear him say that. He’d thought the four boys were exceptionally close, the kind of friendship he longed for but never had.

‘That’s what my mother said,’ Thomas added.

Alastair frowned. ‘Do your parents know I spread that rumor? Surely they would not accept you pursuing me if they knew?’

‘I told them,’ Thomas said. ‘But my father said that when he was young, he’d done worse. He realized he was wrong and changed, uncle Gabriel too. He said it would be hypocritical to hold this against you.’

‘Really?’

‘So far they seem to like you,’ Thomas said. ‘And they are very grateful that you made sure to keep me safe. And… I am too. I never thanked you, but I should have. I am grateful that you put so much effort into protecting me. But please do not risk your life like that again. I would never forgive myself if you died trying to keep me safe.’

‘Only if you promise never to do something as reckless as those patrols again,’ Alastair said. ‘Someone had to keep you safe, and I certainly wasn’t going to let you die because of your own recklessness. Because I love you.’

They sat like that for a while, Alastair taking in the sensation of being held. He didn’t remember ever receiving such affection, and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

‘I’m not going to patrol alone again,’ Thomas said. ‘I promise.’

‘Then I won’t follow you as you patrol alone either,’ Alastair said. He paused. ‘I never expected you to come back for me. I never thought you could love me.’

‘I do. I loved you since Paris,’ Thomas said. ‘I mean, at school I liked you as well, but I thought you it was daring that you said whatever you wanted. I saw your sadness too, but not the real you. Not like in Paris.’

‘I certainly did not say whatever I wanted,’ Alastair said softly. ‘I said what I thought I had to so they wouldn’t hurt me.’

‘I can’t even imagine how badly they must have hurt you,’ Thomas said softly.

Soothing words eased some of the pain, but not all of it. Alastair wasn’t sure if it ever would. Love would tie the tourniquet. It might suffocate him. He would have to find another way to starve the pain within, if such a thing were possible.

‘You were treated badly as well, I’m sure you have some idea.’

‘Yes, but you were always nicer to me than to the others, and I think that shielded me from the others as well. Are you going to be alright, Alastair? I want to help you, but I’m not sure I know how.’

‘I have no idea,’ Alastair admitted. ‘But I’m going to try. You make me want to try. I have no idea how though.’

He knew he needed to get better, if he wanted this to work, to find a way to heal from everything that had happened to him. He knew he couldn’t depend on one person to heal him like he had with Charles, someone who had ultimately broken whatever was left of his heart.

‘Perhaps you could talk to uncle Jem,’ Thomas suggested. ‘If anyone can help with that, it’s him.’

Alastair hadn’t considered that. His cousin thought he hated him. He’d reached out once, back when Alastair had attended the Academy, and he’d pushed him away like he did everyone else. He wasn’t sure Jem would still be willing to help him after everything. But perhaps he could try. Perhaps it didn’t always have to be like this.

#Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #the last hours #tlh #chain of gold #chain of iron #tsc

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mentally-in-northern-italy · 4 years

Text

The Best Potioneer (pt. 1) — Harry Potter x reader

***not my gif***

Request: “Hii, I love your work! I was wondering if I could request a Harry x Slytherin!reader, maybe set during the last year at Hogwarts and enemies to lovers? Thank you 💚”

Summary: You despise Harry. Your Slytherin friends seem to have strong opinions of him already, but during your sixth year, you also seem to have found a reason to absolutely hate the boy. But when you’re forced to work on an assignment together and stay up all night, is it possible for those feelings to change?

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: Thank you so much for the request @obsessedwithrandomthings ! Ahhh, I really hope I did it justice!! I’m sorry I had to split it up into two parts because it turned out *way* longer than I expected it to! It was so hard to come up with a valid reason to hate Harry, he’s such a sweetheart, but I tried my best lmao. Anyways, I had such a fun time writing this and I really hope you enjoy!! And stay tuned for part 2!

__________________

You crossed your legs as you nodded politely in agreement with something that Professor Slughorn had said. In all honesty, you had had no idea what he was rambling on about, no one did, really, but still your face held a bright smile as you nodded once again. Your head of house, Professor Slughorn had invited you, among with various others, to his newly formed club.

Your eyes briefly surveyed the others that were sat at the table with you, all listening -- or at least, pretending to listen -- to the Professor about some very rare ingredient that he skillfully was able to find in some remote region. To your right sat Blaise Zabini, a fellow Slytherin, and to your left, a Hufflepuff that you had never talked to before.

All of them were here for one reason, of course; they seemed to show that they were extraordinarily skilled at something. Or, they were related to someone who was. You hoped it was the former in your case.

You liked to believe that you were here not because of your extremely famous Potioneer father but because of the talent you, yourself, possessed when it came to Potions.

Potions had always been your favourite. You liked other things, of course, but none of them satisfied you like Potions did. The feeling of accomplishment as you gaze down at a finished recipe in your cauldron bubbling, to you, was exhilarating, and you couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

Evidently, this was also the case for your father, who after graduating Hogwarts, had gone on to become a Potioneer, brilliant in his field, and make a name for himself. You hoped that you would be able to do the same.

“But enough of me blabbering on,” Slughorn chuckled heartily, “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to hear me talk about myself.”

You met his gaze and smiled politely, making sure that he knows you’re paying attention.

See, Snape had always been fond of you. Snape, as the Potions Professor, gave you brilliant marks (which you deserved, in all fairness) and didn’t even try to hide the fact that you were his favourite. While others got a cold and disapproving glare from him when they had made a mistake, you received helpful insight on where you went wrong. Snape gave others a monotone sentence of approval at their success, while he gave you… Well, he gave you the same thing, really, but you could tell it was more heartfelt. As heartfelt as it gets, coming from Snape and all.

You were determined to impress Slughorn as well. You had decided that sheer talent can only go so far; teachers were human, too, after all. It was with no doubt that you concluded that every teacher ought to have a favourite, someone they will always favour over the next. And, similarly, every teacher has one student they would never think twice about, someone they didn’t even notice. While you were certainly grateful that you weren’t the latter, you weren’t exactly pleased at your position in the middle. It had always been all or nothing for you. You wanted to be the favourite. The best there can be.

But, that was proving to be a little difficult and unexpectedly, it was because of a certain raven-haired, bespectacled, and utterly clueless -- in your humble opinion -- Gryffindor boy.

You had never paid much attention to Harry. He had always been insignificant in your life, having only shared a couple classes with him over the years. And, even in those classes, you had only exchanged a few occasional words. The bottom line was, you didn’t hate Harry and you didn’t like him. He was just… Harry. A Gryffindor.

It was almost as if the universe saw this and decided that this wasn’t enough. Just like you disliked your mediocre position in Slughorn’s class, the universe disliked Harry’s mediocre presence in your life. After all, you were always one to go big or to go home.

It was as if Harry had been pushed onto the stage that was your life, forced to play a role, as soon as your sixth-year Potions classes had begun. And, Harry might be a hero to some, but in your play, he was easily the opposite.

All because Harry had started doing exceptionally well in Potions. You didn’t know what it was. His potions always turned out perfect, capturing Slughorn’s praise. Praise that you wish you were receiving. Naturally, before you knew it, it turned into a competition, both determined to out-shine the other. You couldn’t let him beat you.

A recent occurrence annoyed you, in particular, just a few weeks ago, when Harry was able to brew a draught of Living Death perfectly, and in record time. You were close, of course, but Harry had managed to do it before you, resulting in him getting awarded with a vial of Felix Felicis and getting praised relentlessly by Slughorn. Harry, being aware of just how much you resented him doing better than you in Potions, sent you a small smile as he stood at the front of the class, holding up the vial of the luck potion. It was clear at this moment that you had to be better than Harry. There was no other option. Excelling at Potions was in your blood.

However, the sole reason behind your undying hatred for the boy was not just the fact that he had magically turned into a brilliant Potioneer. No, it was also because of your friends, who were mainly Slytherins, had told you all about their interactions with him over the years when you brought up how he seemed to have claimed your spot at the top of the class. Since you only got a one-sided testimony from your friends, you were always led to believe that Harry was in the wrong.

If Harry were being honest, he wasn’t exactly sure why you hated him and wanted to beat him so badly in Potions. Regardless of the reason, Harry certainly wasn’t one to back out from some (un?)healthy competition. A part of him only seemed to want to compete with you on principle; a typical Slytherin vs. Gryffindor feud. He certainly didn’t take this little competition as seriously as you did.

But this ‘competition’ for you meant a lot more.

“Ah, Ms. [Y/L/N],” Slughorn directly acknowledged you for the first time that evening, “how lovely it is to have you here!”

“It’s a pleasure to be here, sir,” you replied kindly.

“Tell me, how is your father doing?” Slughorn questioned with genuine curiosity, “I haven’t heard from him in ages! Correct me if I’m wrong, Ms. [Y/L/N], last I heard, he was running some sort of experiment trial with sleeping potions?”

Your heart sank. You couldn’t help but think you were only here because of your father. You despised the thought. You caught your smile from faltering and took a breath in.

“He’s doing well, Professor,” you nodded, “And yes, he is running an experiment with sleeping potions. Unfortunately, he hasn’t shared much about it with me just yet.”

“Oh, yes, yes,” Slughorn said to you, “He was always quite the expert at sleeping potions…”

He paused at this before smiling and turning his gaze from you to Harry, sat directly across from you, “But of course, we have another emerging sleep potion expert in the room!”

At this, you grudgingly turned your head to Harry as well.

Great. Just the thing you needed this evening; to be reminded of your failure to brew a sleeping potion, one that your father would easily be able to brew in his sleep.

You continued to try to smile politely as Slughorn once again, started to praise Harry for his perfect potion. Harry smiled and accepted the compliments quietly, but he shot you a few glances in between, which only made you angrier.

“Quite remarkable, indeed,” Slughorn praised, “Wouldn’t you agree, Ms. [Y/L/N]?”

“Yes,” you agreed, still smiling, although you knew that everyone could tell it wasn’t genuine, “It is quite interesting how much Harry has been able to improve this year.”

“Indeed, indeed,” came Slughorn’s response who nodded and smiled at Harry.

“In my opinion, it just seems too good to be true,” you continued, your smile turning more into a grimace, as you shifted a little in your seat, “how exactly did you manage to brew a potion like the draught of Living Death so brilliantly, even though you could barely manage to brew a draught of Peace just last year, Harry?” You tried to keep your tone curious and casual, but you failed as a few murmurs broke out amongst the table, clearly picking up on the tension in the air.

“Well,” Harry began, holding your gaze keenly and smiling slightly, “I just followed the recipe.”

“Of course,” you said as you nodded slightly, patronizing him, “but was crushing the sopophorous bean in the recipe?”

“I--” Harry tried to reply as he, too, shifted in his seat. His smile had vanished.

“And,” you continued as you rested your elbows on the table, “Is ‘following the recipe’ a newly acquired skill?”

“No,” Harry kept his calm as you struggled to do the same.

“Because, if I recall, you couldn’t simply ‘follow the recipe’ last year,” you accused and narrowed your eyes. You had stopped pretending to be polite. More whispers and murmurs broke out while Slughorn watched this scene unfold in distress, “Or the year before that, or--”

“Are you trying to imply that I cheated, [Y/L/N]?”

“How lovely of you to finally catch on, Potter.”

Slughorn seemed to have decided that he had seen enough. “Alright! That’s enough, Mr. Potter and Ms. [Y/L/N]! Everyone, help yourself to this delicious chocolate cake! This ought to calm some of you down a notch...“

You and Harry kept your gazes on each other, both unwilling to break first as several people around you finally started to talk again, instead of listening intently to the heated interaction between you two.

Finally, Harry was first to break, looking away from you and picking up his cutlery.

__________________________

If it wasn’t already clear to you that this year just was not your year, it became clear when Slughorn declared that your class would be working with partners on the next assignment.

It became crystal clear, however, when you got partnered up with none other than Harry Potter.

You groaned as you walked back to your assigned seat beside Harry after arguing -- respectfully, of course, -- with Slughorn for fifteen minutes straight on just how well you could do on this assignment by yourself. It would be an understatement to say that you were severely displeased when Slughorn repeatedly suggested this was a two-person job.

You took a seat beside him with a frown set on your face, as Harry glanced at you from the corner of his eye. He was dreading this as well, of course, but certainly not as much as you seem to be dreading this. Was it because you hated that he was a Gryffindor? Perhaps you thought he was lesser-than because he was a half-blood? Or because he hung out with the Weasleys and Granger, both considered to be near the bottom of the wizarding social status hierarchy? He decided that it most likely was a combination of all of these, judging from the green and silver on your robes.

The truth was though, you couldn’t care less about what house he was in. Or, who his friends were. And, you certainly didn’t give a damn about his status. You resented him because he was doing better in Potions than you were, but you hated him because that was just the norm. You were expected to hate him. Only now, you actually had a reason to.

But now, because he was paired up with you, his failure was your failure. His success was your success. You couldn’t one-up him this time… you would have to actually cooperate with him. Interact with him. You scrunched up your face at the thought.

“Memory potions!” Slughorn clapped his hands as he started to tell the class about their upcoming assignment, “Who can recall what those are?” He chuckled slightly at his own joke.

Hermione Granger’s hand shot up.

“They’re exactly that, sir,” she informed, “They can boost one’s memory for up to six hours, depending on the dosage.”

“Yes!” Slughorn seemed pleased at the answer, “Yes, Ms. Granger! Memory potions are very powerful, indeed… I had a particularly nasty experience with those once…” He trailed off into telling his very underwhelming anecdote that no one really cared much for.

“Oh no,” you whispered, not particularly to anyone, as you realized it’s going to take Slughorn a while to actually get to the point.

“We’ll be here a while,” Harry whispered back, which surprised you. It was a very rare occurrence for you two to whisper to each other, and even more unusual for you two to be agreeing.

“But never mind that!” Slughorn said finally, “You lot will be brewing memory potions!”

Almost instantly, you grabbed a hold of your Advanced Potions book to examine the recipe. A few others did the same and Slughorn visibly noticed.

“Ah,” he said, “You won’t find the recipe in there. You will have to find the recipe yourselves.” He smiled. “After finding the precise list of ingredients and measurements, I would like you, with your partners, to brew the potion.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in concentration. Find the recipe?

“This assignment is, of course,” Slughorn went on, “a competition. The first pair of students to successfully brew a memory potion with effects lasting for precisely 7 hours will receive an O on the next essay!” He smiled as his eyes moved around the room. “You have until next week, but this potion can be done in a day...” His smile grew, waiting for a reaction from the group.

The students in the room all had no idea how to proceed. Find the recipe? 7 hours? This assignment seemed like way too much work, all for an O on the next essay?

“Alright! Get to work, you lot,” Slughorn urged as he laughed and walked back to his desk, failing to elaborate.

You looked around the room to find that everyone had started to talk to their partners, trying to figure out how they would be going about this peculiar task.

“We need to stay up all night,” you said quickly, turning your head to face Harry.

“What? Why?” he questioned with confusion in his eyes, “We have a week!”

“Zabini and Greengrass will most definitely stay up all night,” you told him urgently, “I know it. We need to beat them.”

“But--” Harry tried to reason with you. Spending all night working on potion with you? He wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.

“Look, do you know where we might be able to do this?” you ignored what he said previously, turning to get a fresh piece of parchment, “I was thinking of an abandoned classroom, but Filch will easily catch us.”

Harry did know a place. But did he really want to work on a potion all night? With you, no less?

“Fine,” you sighed as you once again turned to face him, “You need to sneak me into your common room then.”

“What? No!” he exclaimed, alarmed. He was not about to do that. For all he knew, this was all just some clever ploy to get back at the Gryffindors for beating the Slytherins in the Quidditch match last week.

“Where else would we go?” you question irritably.

“What about your common room?”

“No. I already told you Zabini and Greengrass will probably use it to brew their potion tonight.”

“But, I can’t sneak you in.”

“You have to!”

Harry was conflicted. He couldn’t sneak you into his common room, and he didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he were caught in your common room.

“Fine, okay,” Harry said as he fixed the glasses on his face, thinking, “I might know a place.”

“Okay?” you said, getting incredibly frustrated at his cryptic response, “Please enlighten me, oh Chosen One.”

“Just meet me on the seventh floor tonight.” He ignored your clever response and gave you a straightforward one. Like he always did.

“But there--” you tried to protest. The seventh floor had no classrooms that you could use.

“Just--” Harry also seemed to be getting frustrated as he insisted, “Just do it. Alright?”

“Fine,” you crossed your arms and leaned back into your seat.

You expected the night to go horribly. You expected a dreadful night, filled with insults. You expected your hatred for Harry to only have increased in the morning. What you didn’t expect was what actually happened.

(Part 2 has been posted!)

#harrypotter #harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #harry potter x yn #harry james potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter oneshots #slytherin reader #enemies to lovers #harrypotterxyou #harrypotterxreader

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years

Note

I just saw your Pride & Prejudice reblog and oh my goodness, did you read my mind??? I have literally been mulling over this random Lizzington AU that popped into my head a couple of days ago and… Yes, it’s a P&P one. 😂😂

No but consider: our Lizzy as Austen’s Lizzy (the names literally line up okay can you blame me for thinking of this AU 😭), and Ray Reddington as…well, an extraverted Fitzwilliam Darcy, if one can picture it. Lizzy being her outspoken, sometimes judgemental, and frequently rash self, and Red being sidelines-ly but steadfastly devoted to his girl and sparing no expense (monetary or emotional 👀) to give her happiness. IDRK who everyone else would be in this AU, although I can vaguely see the FBI being all them Darcy haters from Hertfordshire.

(Wait, random thought as I write this: Tom as Mr. Collins????????? Or even Wickham, although Collins was the one Lizzy B. mighta-coulda-shoulda [according to her mom] married. I feel like Wickham’s the bigger creep though so. Pick ya’ poison. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

(ANOTHER RANDOM THOUGHT, although slightly crackier than the last: Dembe as Georgiana Darcy??????????????)

I really love this AU idea because the Lizzy/Darcy dynamic is a perfect mixture of The Blacklist!Lizzington dynamic and My Canon!Lizzington dynamic. You can still get the essences of their characters from P&P, but none of the icky stuff TPTB started mixing in. For instance: Lizzy not being wrong that Darcy treated her in a way that didn’t make her feel the most comfortable/respected, as well intentioned or badly misunderstood as he might have been, but still feeling ashamed for not appreciating the good parts, apologising for hurting him (even if her reproofs were valid and their relationship became evener/healthier once he took them under advisement, they still hurt!), and communicating with him! On a fluffier note, also: that part at the end where Lizzy is like “when did you first love me?” and Darcy is like “uhhhhhhhhhhhh good question” and Lizzy goes and HDKSHDKSHD psychoanalyses him?? Please. Give Lizzington that. Please. (Although who am I even imploring here since the freahdjcjsjhfsj TBL WRITERS KILLED THE SHIP AAAAA—)

Anyway, I’ve been keeping this AU in mind just as a fun little comfort to keep around for myself, but since I saw you reblog that post about Lady Cath I figured why not share. 😆

(Please note that if somebody already has written this, I am so sorry hdjenckehdjs.) (And also drop the link SVP.)

Omg, anon!! 😂 A Pride & Prejudice Lizzington AU is certainly not what I expected when I logged onto tumblr dot com today... but I love it!! 🤩 Omggg, you're so right, okay, let's ponder: Liz = Lizzie Bennet ✅ Red = Darcy ✅ TOM = WICKHAM! YES! I LOVE IT! ✅✅✅ Ooooh, Dembe = Georgiana!! We love a genderswap!! ✅ Orrr... maybe Dembe = Bingley?? Hmmm 🤔 OH OR Darcy's military friend that Liz meets at Lady Cath's place, wtf is his name, isn't it Fitzwilliam too for some reason?!?! lmfao 🤣 OH ANDDD... Ressler = Mr. Collins?? teehee 🤭 And Charlotte = Audrey!! OMG ALSO (oh, dear god, anon, what have you done 😂❤️) Aram = Bingley & Samar = Jane!! AND COOPER = MR. BENNET!! Ohhhhh, I need to stop 😅 Aside from casting this masterpiece of a crossover, moving to the plot you so beautifully describe, anon: YES. P&P would give Lizzington that trademark initial dislike, moral differences, & sexual-tension-filled butting of heads that we see in canon so beautifully BUT without all the stupid drama & utter horse manure!! 🥳 Omg, thank you so much for sharing this with me, anon, I'm so glad I reblogged that Lady Cath post now, otherwise I wouldn't have received this gem!! (And, no worries, I don't think we have a P&P AU in the fandom anywhere... I know there's a Jane Eyre AU over on AO3, but I think that's all for the period piece AUs!! 😊) Thank you again for this fabulous ask, anon, it is much appreciated, & much love to you, my friend!! 🥰❤️

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agent-cupcake · 3 years

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Can I ask your opinion? So, I feel like everyone into 3H is in love with Dimitri, but I can't connect with him. I don't dislike him, but I feel like there isn't much to his personality without all his various mental health issues. It's hard to get a feel on what he's really like, so I end up just seeing him as a walking ball of trauma and not a three-dimensional character. Do you have any thoughts on Dimitri himself and how to separate him as a person from his psychological issues? Thanks!

Hmm, I guess my first thought is that everyone resonates with characters differently and so if you don’t particularly feel connected to him, that’s not wrong. Fictional parasocial relationships are very similar to real-life relationships, so it follows that nobody is going to like every character. I can’t say that a portion of my love for his character doesn’t come from his mental issues because that’s something I personally relate to and feel drawn to in others. That’s just who I am and how I build relationships. There is also something to be said for the unavoidable way mental illness informs a person’s behavior and character, it’s as much an aspect of them as being born with blond hair or losing an eye.

That said, I will do my best to explain why I think Dimitri is wonderful. Not in spite of his mental illness, but because I don’t think that’s all he is.

So, Dimitri is, as he says, a very clumsy person. This unfortunately extends to his social skills. He has a lot of very socially awkward tendencies and a general lack of self-awareness. This contrasts with his innate desire to please people, or at least avoid upsetting anyone. The thing is, Dimitri doesn’t always completely understand what upsets people or how exactly they might feel. His childhood isolation left him rather emotionally unaware and desperate for the acceptance and approval of others. That’s not to say he doesn’t try to understand other people’s feelings, but it’s not an intuitive process. He has a habit of saying kind of dumb or uncomfortable things out of nowhere, which is most likely his real feelings coming out in rather inept ways. He means well, but he’s just so dang clumsy.

The desperation to be included and validated I mentioned, I think, can be seen in the way he tries so hard to make the other Blue Lions see him as a peer and equal all the while keeping himself rather closed off from them. Dimitri approaches conversations as a means of focusing on the other person, trying to make an appeal to them rather than as an interaction where both parties could be seen as vulnerable. Of course, just like most other socially awkward introverts, he opens up when he feels closer to the person, but that takes a while. Gotta unlock the supports, you know? Although it’s not necessarily obvious, his incredibly stiff behavior (especially pre-timeskip) and the way he switches between overly formal and awkwardly friendly in his interactions with people as he tries to figure out how to socially and emotionally navigate relationships really gives me the impression of someone trying desperately to fit in without even the faintest clue of how to actually manage that. He also does his best to avoid social situations, which, mood. Basically, Dimitri’s a big dumb massive introvert trying to act like he’s not.

FURTHERMORE, he is a dork. An absolute goof of a person. Dimitri canonically thinks so-bad-its-good puns and jokes are hilarious. His own style of telling jokes is saying things that may or may not have contextual humor in a normal voice and then claiming after the fact that he intended it as such. Now, his supports with Alois are absolute factual proof of the so-bad-its-good humor, but might I also direct your attention to the scene before the battle against Miklan in Conand Tower (the event name is “Tower in a Storm (Blue Lions)”). Basically, Gilbert is explaining the history behind Conand Tower and Dimitri says, in an incredibly earnest voice, “You’re very well informed, Gilbert. Please, tell us more.” This is a joke. Supposed to be, at least. The delivery is somewhat emphasized, but not in a recognizably sarcastic way. Gilbert, who knew Dimitri very well when he was young, realizes it’s a joke after a second. But there are other things Dimitri says that I believe are his bad “jokes” and since nobody knows him well enough to tell, they don’t call him on it. There’s no proof, but his line in the Lord’s intro where he says, “And here I thought you were acting as a decoy for the sake of us all.” to Claude has to be an attempt at sarcasm. Dimitri is oblivious, but not stupid. In his Goddess Tower conversation with Byleth, when discussing the topic of wishes, he says, “Perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we’ll be together forever. What do you think?” In a completely normal voice. Following are two speech bubbles of “...” before he laughs and proclaims that it’s just a joke and that he’s getting better at telling them. Now, this is a two-parter because I see this as both his horribly awkward tendency to say things he feels without thinking too hard beforehand as well as his silly deadpan style of “jokes”. Granted, he does apologize. Dimitri’s got socially awkward zoomer humor. It’s endearing.

Here is a video of Dimitri hitting on Byleth pre-timeskip. I’m not sure how far it goes to endear someone to him, but the mostly awkward and occasionally smooth attempts of Dimitri’s flirtations are absolutely a highlight of his character.

Now, this isn’t quite as cute as all that, but I think character arc and change do a lot for making a character feel more three-dimensional. Dimitri is hypocritically selfish. Although those are both negative terms, I don’t necessarily mean them as such, at least not in their totality. Both are things to overcome, which he does. And that’s why I feel like they’re a valid point of discussion when trying to explain the allure of his character.

The hypocritical part comes from the way he easily allows and forgives the flaws of others while constantly castigating himself for the same reasons. He says things that show an absurd amount of a lack of self-awareness. For example, he tells Edelgard, “Hm. You will prove a lacking ruler yourself if you look for deceit behind every word and fail to trust those whom you rely on.” All the while straight-up lying to and emotionally avoiding his friends. Dimitri also tells Marianne, when she is punishing herself for putting other people at risk, “What matters is that they came back safely in the end. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that.” Really, his C and B with Marianne is an exercise in hypocrisy. The standards Dimitri has for himself are incredibly, unattainably high. He’s setting himself up for failure in that way and, to an extent, knows what he’s doing because he knows that those same standards are too much for his friends and allies to meet. He wishes to take on everything himself. But, what I find so beautiful about this, is that Dimitri eventually realizes that he can’t do that. He is not strong enough to take on the weight of the world on himself, he comes to understand that it’s something he must allow himself to share with the people who care about him. He comes to realize that, as difficult as it is to accept, he is a weak person. Despite all of his introversion and inability to emotionally open up, he figures out that having a support system and allowing yourself to rely on people who love you is a necessity. Personally, I think this message is incredibly important in real life. Watching Dimitri come to that conclusion and argue it’s importance really rounded out his arc and journey as a person. Now, the relatability of this conclusion will differ, but I don’t think it has to do with his mental illness as much as it is a fundamental aspect of growth.

The selfishness is basically outlined above. Dimitri is selfish about his pain and secrets, purposefully and selfishly driving people away because he wants to keep the burden to himself. His vice is guilt and he indulges in the pain of it like an addiction. Hatred, too, is a drug. He thinks he needs it to keep going, even though all it does is bring agony to himself and others around him. Learning to accept and let go of these feelings is, again, something I think is important and a character arc that I really love, especially when you see him suffer as much as he does. Now, the execution of this is lacking, I admit. But that’s an issue for another time I think.

I am not quite sure if I did much to change your opinion, but this is all I can think of for now. There is probably a lot more than I’ve left out because I think about Dimitri far too much to be healthy. So, I’ll leave you off with some honorable mention aspects of his character that I think are super fun:

Pre-timeskip Dimitri has his hair tucked behind his ear. He can lift a wagon by himself. In the DLC, when faced with an impossible-to-open gate, it was not muscle man Balthus who said he couldn’t open it, but twinkish teen Dimitri. He’s not really smooth with one-liners. Like, at all. Notably, when attacking Manuela post-timeskip, he says, “Perhaps I should have appeared before you holding a bouquet of flowers, rather than the weapon that will end your life.” Adding to this, at one point, Dimitri fucked up a pick-up line so badly the girl came after him. Areadbhar has a mitten on it in the Azure Moon final picture. He breaks everything. His Crest activation ability even supports this, using twice the durability of any given Combat Art. One of his post-timeskip counselor messages is, “I lived in the slums for a long time, and I saw how the people there suffered from poverty and the ravages of war. There must be something I can do to save them." His room in the academy is right next to Sylvain’s, meaning that for almost an entire year Dimitri was a single wall away from hearing whatever nonsense Sylvain was getting up to. Dimitri is the only Lord that takes the throne and doesn’t abandon his people in some form or another.

And, finally, he is pretty sexy. And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe dimitri #dimitri #fire emblem three houses #FE3H #Anonymous

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reverielix · 3 years

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hellooo, since i am very into astrology as well, i’d love if you could do a lee know as boyfriend based on his chart^^ i know we still don’t know about his venus sign (if libra or scorpio), so just choose which one you think suits him best, thank you in advance!

Ooo this sounds fun👀💕

First of all, I’m pretty convinced he’s a Gemini rising (8pm), which means he has a Scorpio Venus. His voice (2nd house) sounds more like Cancer (calming, rather comforting, not very high) than Sagittarius-like (high-pitched, loud, mood-maker) and he just gives me Gemini vibes haha He gives off a playful appearance more than an intense aura (though his glares send Hyunjin running, I think that’s more his inner Scorpio stellium coming through). If he’s a Gemini rising, his chart ruler would be in Scorpio, which could give him that more round face, and in the 6th house, which could give him a youthful appearance paired with those eyes🥰. Lastly, his rising’s decan would be Libra, which could also contribute to a rather round face than the typical Gemini rising’s rather slim appearance (+ Libra rules the butt lol and we all know Minho‘s shameless liking toward the members’ butts haha) He’s also pretty outgoing and chatty, which his mc in Aquarius and Gemini rising can also point at. I do want to point out that guessing any celebrity’s placements is like trying to guess their mc persona chart’s placements because their image is very controlled and what they do is extremely calculated/regulated.

So now that we’ve settled that, let’s get started!!💫

⇢ confession/beginning stages

I feel like he would be really flirty and straightforward because of his rising and Mercury as well as his Venus. His flirting style is versatile and adaptable to the person (Moon in Sagittarius in the 7th house, Gemini rising), and at first he’d try to keep it less intense, smile/smirk a little (his smile also contributes to my tendency to view him as a Gemini rising rather than a Scorpio rising😌).

When he’s gotten more comfortable around the other person and they seemingly are comfortable around him as well, he’d start letting his intense aura and Scorpio stellium come to shine as he’d enjoy making the other person feel flustered, though his Scorpio Venus suggests that he’d love for somebody to do that with him as well, seeing as his Sun-Venus conjunction doesn’t only indicate confidence, but also that he’s attracted to people who are similar to him.

His confession would be overall heartfelt, genuine, romantic and intense. His way with words (moon in 7th since he’s talking about his emotions here, Gemini rising, well aspected Mercury) would allow him to talk without stuttering too much or at all, though I can see him being nervous (his emotions are strong, and when he loves, he LOVES).

⇢ overall behavior in relationship

Once he finds himself in a relationship with somebody, he’d be pretty dedicated and loyal, which he’d expect from his partner as well. Other than Jeongin for instance, he wouldn’t be really big on personal space, instead he would be keen on skin ship and always want to touch his s/o’s butt 🤭.

His Venus lies in opposition to his Saturn in Taurus (no orb), which suggests feelings of insecurity and unworthiness which stems from criticism by authority figures and lack of affection (especially from a father or father-figure). Here, the planet of relays and restrictions can indicate a late recognition of that he deserves happiness instead of pity and love instead of loneliness (this aspect also indicates a feeling of unworthiness of financial success, so he may feel like he doesn’t deserve his place as an idol). Loving himself can thereby be a challenging road that he for a long time didn’t even know he had to take. This can result in insecurities being projected onto the other person or a detachment from his s/o as he is scared to show them all of him out of fear of rejection or not being accepted. Just like with all Saturn aspects, with hard work and age comes a great deal of contentment and what he’s understood he deserves (money and love in regards to Venus and Saturn).

Meanwhile, Neptune is in a square with Venus, (1° orb) which points out a deception and inability to draw a clear line between judgement and his gut feeling. In this case, he can take things his s/o says very personally, though he might act as if nothing’s wrong (Scorpio stellium,...). People with this aspect typically dream to escape reality as well as are languid and messy (missing/coming late to dates although he’s strongly dedicated to the relationship, he may just forget or feel secretly hurt about something that wasn’t really offensive but he made out to be). This sensitivity toward what others say feeds into the Saturn-Venus aspect and a feeling of inadequacy and dishonorability. Overall, his Venus (love style, behavior in relationships, desires, attraction) is badly aspected in his chart, though his s/o and their personality is a key-point to look at in any relationship.

As a boyfriend in general, Minho may be extremely emotionally invested, possessive, devoted and sharing. Once he’s with someone, he gives himself to that person. Additionally, his Venus in the 5th along with his Sun in the 5th and conjunct his Venus suggest a very present and, again, dedicated lover who loves with his whole heart and all he’s got (meanwhile he makes an effort to look especially detached and funny/playful in public or in front of cameras, which, among other placements, his mc in Aquarius hints at). Lastly he may be excellent at boosting his partner’s confidence, yet may also need validation back. (Can I just say that his Sun and Venus in the 5th make his chart the one of a born performer, which obviously shows + his love for art shows here as well🤓😊.)

⇢ dates

His Scorpio Venus in the 5th makes me think of spontaneous, grand-gesture dates that take place where he’s granted privacy with his s/o and everything’s only about the two. He may wants to move around, like go to an abandoned park where the grass is a little too high and play games/teach them a dance before they watch the stars when the night comes🥺💫. I can see him being very romantic and bold, so he may just sneak kisses here and there (5th house suggests spontaneity and the thrill of surprises). Here are brief moments of how I imagine a date with him:

“I’m bored. Let’s go somewhere.”

he walks toward his room’s red oak panel door

“Where do you want to go?”

your naked feet follow his to the cold stone floor behind the door

“Let’s decide on the way.”

over pine trees and bushes his reflection distracts you

eyes are narrowed when he’s concentrated, wrinkles adorn his cheeks

“5 minutes.”

“Huh?” you turn your head

“I’ve figured out a place, we’re only gonna need another 5 minutes.”

“Want a kiss? Come and get it then!”

he trips over dandelions and grass, smug-smiling, and doesn’t slow down

your feet stomp the grass, your determination takes over

after two breaks of resting your arms on your thighs, he gives in, lets you win

“I did that on purpose.”

“I don’t care.”

right legs cross the lefts and knees buckle while arms swing up, fingers fold out and eyebrows are raised

dancing is way harder than it looks, you’ve just figured

behind gracious twirls hide strength and control, something the slippery lawn hampers

“No, the feet need to be pointed in a different angle.” Minho held his hands out flat.

amidst your ambition to strech your arm “elegantly”, sunset hugs your silhouettes around the shadows

distant stars create a pattern in everless darkness, the waning gibbous moon sheds light

“Do you ever think of death?” your eyes dart the distance

“Like how? Don’t we all?” his trace the sharp shadow of your nose cast on your cheek

“We’re just such a small fragment of the universe. Gone before it even noticed us.”

“No, I believe we’re here for a reason. I think we have a big presence in the universe. Life is so magical, and so is death. It scares most, because it’s unpredictable. But so is tomorrow.”

Existential conversation with Minho™️

⇢ kisses

Ooooooo his s/o is in for something😳 The Scorpio stellium and 5th house Sun conjunct Venus suggests passion and bold, unexpected actions. He doesn’t just kiss for fun. If he kisses, he KISSES. The Virgo Mars also adds a feeling of security. I can see how he likes “crossing lines” and being bold, though it feels comfortable and safe. A lil types of kisses list...

obvi the passing food one lol

a sudden one that takes the other’s breath away

one in which he holds the other’s waist/cups their cheeks and forgets about everything around him

salty ones after a reunion or fight

one in which breaths are shared

a combination of kisses he thought of the night before when he couldn’t sleep (very unusual, but if anyone can pull it off with confidence, it’s Minho)

It was so much fun making this haha💞 hope u like it!🌫

#astrology ask #Minho #lee know #stray kids #skz #stray kids fanfic #stray kids astrology #astrology #Minho boyfriend #skz boyfriend au #skz scenarios #synastry

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aces-of-the-center-court · 4 years

Text

hello dear anon, when this request came, I was already in the process of writing for the setters (Kageyama, Kenma & Oikawa) for this particular prompt as well, so I have decided to just combine all five into one! I hope this is ok, thank you so much for requesting! :)

warning: long post ahead.

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

When hanging around him and Komori, it would mostly just be you and Komori talking

He would find you strangely intriguing at first because of how similar you were to him in the sense that you both despise germs, but he would still be closed off in the beginning

Gradually as the two of you get closer, he would slowly initiate conversations with you in spite of how useless, unnecessary or unimportant it is

“Where’s Komori?”, “Have you eaten?”, or “Good morning.” – Alrighhht perhaps not too useless but the conversations usually end after your response unless you decide to follow up

When it’s just him and Komori, he would sometimes ask where you were and if you were coming despite it being volleyball practice (which means you would not be around by then)

Yes, to be honest, he would have realised his feelings for you even without Komori pointing out for the 937820th time and jokingly teasing him

He would handle his feelings for you quite well and not act any differently from before – he would listen when you’re speaking, sometimes ask questions or even insert some prickly input before being cut off by Komori

Would not show his feelings for you and would likely take a while to consider asking you out

Each time he sees you, the words he wants to tell you – his confession – would be raging to come out of his mouth so badly he’d lose count of how many times he had stopped himself

Likely to bluntly confess his feelings for you out of a blue, even if you’re not alone with him, be it the classroom, during lunch with other classmates around etc.

I really like you… he would think, “I really like you” he would let out on accident

When those words came out of his mouth, he would be visibly surprised and stiffen up, hoping you did not just hear that

You would have obviously heard it, no matter how noisy the class is, and would recognise that voice anywhere – with or without mask

Sharing the look of surprise on your faces, when you look at him, his eyes would widen and he would flush pink to his ears

Your face would also redden when you noticed his change in demeanor.

Miya Atsumu:

This boy is sure experienced in handling his fangirls, but not so much his rival

Surrounded with fangirls that would unconditionally validate whatever he says, he’s never met someone so insistent in trying to prove him wrong until he met you

You two would constantly battle one another in wits until one of you out-argue the other

Though the battle results have been pretty even thus far, frustration from being proven wrong on multiple occasions would accumulate in him

He’d find himself thinking back on some of the debates and think of some comebacks he should’ve used, then mentally prepares for the next dispute

He’d slowly find the disputes fun and enjoy spending time squabbling with you

Though he’d hate to admit at first, he would know that he’s starting to look forward to the next time he sees you

Would find you more and more amusing the more he learns about you through bickering

He’d realise that he’d want to know more about you – is there more to you than a rival he constantly bickers with?

“You know, I’ve been thinking. It seems that we got off the wrong foot,” he’d say during the next encounter with you before the squabbles start, “how about we start over and get to know each other better instead? Who knows? We could be more than rivals.”

“And risk getting trampled on by your fangirls? Yeah I’ll pass.” You would refute by habit

BUT. THIS. BOY!! Even if you had rejected him 100 times, he would ask you out 101 times

Even if you treat him coldly and ignore him, he would persistently try to get closer to you

Gradually, he would make it quite obvious that he has feelings for you

Would casually tell you multiple times that he likes you though you would just ignore him

He would also continuously act sweet and flirtatious towards you and sometimes even sly to make sure he gets to spend some time with you

If he were to get disturbed when you two are alone, he would be very upset – very, very, annoyed and pissed

And if ever, his fangirls do go threatening or intimidating you, he would be the first to know and immediately send those flies away

You would also progressively start to find him amusing in his stubborn ways and would decide to indulge in him more frequently

Atsumu would have definitely picked up on this and for the 102th time, he would ask you out ⁠— this time, he may not just be left disappointed with your answer.

Oikawa Tooru:

This man here is very experienced and thus would easily realise his feelings for you early on

He would just be outrightly flirting with you, like he does with many

The difference is that he would find himself naturally gravitating to you and possessing this feeling of wanting to talk and be with you

It might be because he finds you easier to talk to since you understand him well underneath his flirtatious and easygoing front

His flirtatious remarks would hold more meaning and truth to his feelings when it’s meant for you than for others

Would flirt a lot more when with you compared to others

Even among the crowd that he’s flirting with, he would make the most eye contact with you

Due to his flamboyant attitude though, despite sometimes playing along with his flirting, you would not take his advances seriously obviously

He would realise so and decide to start being more serious in pursuing you

While flirting as usual, he would casually add in comments like “You’re the only one for me~” to which you would wittily retort, “Yeah right, how many ‘only ones’ do you have?”

“I’m serious.” He would say in a deep voice, free from his usual flirty tone as he locks eyes with you

He would want to make sure you’re aware of his feelings for you so that you would start seeing him in a different light

To show the sincerity in his confession, he would stop his flirting altogether and would only focus his attention on you

When you notice the changes in him and his flirting, you would start to take him more seriously

He would take his time before conveying his renewed confession to just have some quality time together with you genuinely

He would be very straightforward when confessing his feelings for you though it would be out of the blue, perhaps when you’re walking home with him and just chatting casually, he would declare his feelings there and then.

Kozume Kenma:

Other than his games, Shouyou and volleyball, Kenma was starting to have you on his mind more than he would like to admit

Whenever you’re with him, he would feel his heart throbbing and would be very conscious of it, causing him to stiffen up especially when in close proximity with you

As he’s unfamiliar with these types of situations, he would not know what to do and may act awkwardly around you as a result

He would think to himself that this is not the type of situation or position he should be in due to his self-consciousness and how it disrupts his rhythm

It’s tiring to keep feeling like this… maybe I should just put these feelings away… He would decide to try to brush off these feelings of his

Despite that however, he would find that his eyes unconsciously drift to you whenever you’re around

He would also start to talk more about you or bring you up in conversations e.g. “y/n seemed a little tired today, I wonder what’s wrong…”

Kuroo would have quite instantly notice the change in Kenma and tease him, asking why he’s so concerned about you lately and if he likes you

He would be a little annoyed at Kuroo and put off his comments, saying that he’s just worried for you as a friend

Although he wouldn’t admit it at first, he would later realise after contemplating Kuroo’s remarks that he does seem to have feelings for you

Subsequently, he would try to have more contacts with you by initiating interactions

Would express his feelings in his own way, that is, in game – giving you special limited edition items to help you win and level up for example

If he senses some competition (e.g. someone flirting with you) he would feel annoyed, but would not express it and would just be quieter than usual

At this point, it’s safe to say that most of the team would have realised what this new change in Kenma means

With Yamamoto trying to exert his seniority in his experience with unrequited love, he would try to give him advice on how to ask you out etc while Yaku would tell him with a warm motherly smile and happy tears in his eyes that he can come to him if he needs help

Basically, the team would be very supportive (while teasing him occasionally) which would annoy Kenma a whole lot to be honest

It would take him a lot to actually confess to you but when he does, it would be when you two are alone, probably in a space he’s comfortable, and tell you his feelings forthrightly.

Kageyama Tobio:

Whenever you’re around, he would feel himself heating up

In class or during volleyball practices, he would constantly be distracted with trying to figure out what he’s feeling or with thoughts of you

If possible, he would wish to put these feelings to an end so he could focus on volleyball, but things have been this way for months now

After a long contemplation, he would finally decide to seek Sugawara’s advice but face much trouble describing his feelings and end up replacing words with “bah” and “gwah” instead

Despite the initial difficulty faced while trying to understand Kageyama, Sugawara would shortly come to an understanding and explain that what Kageyama is experiencing is a crush he has on you while slightly teasing him and tousling his hair saying how he has grown

Though he would still be confused after hearing it and unable to comprehend his feelings, he would try his best to act as normal as possible around you – not without failing completely

He would be very conscious of your presence and start acting weirder unintentionally

Concerned, you would confront him to clarify if you’re making him uncomfortable

“No, not at all! That’s not the case! It’s never been!” He would insistently deny in an awkward manner, leaving you to heave a huge sigh of relief (even though you would still feel that something is amiss), and you would return to your usual smile

At the sight of your smile, he would start getting flustered all over again

What… why is my heart palpitating even when I’m not engaging in any physical activity? It was at this moment that he would finally understand that he does, in fact, likes you

After this realisation, he would always be a little restless around you

He would also quite often offer you his packet of yoghurt or milk and share the food he has on him, but would yell at Hinata if he tries to steal a piece

When he gradually feels comfortable enough to confide in you, he would bluntly confess in a descriptive manner

“My face feels hot and my heart races when I see you or think about you, which I can’t help but always do by the way. I don’t know what I should do…”

Basically, he would describe the way he feels for you in an attempt to seek help from you about this foreign emotion

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

Note

Sending you a character: Penny

Penny, my poor baby girl. I have a lot of thoughts about Penny, so let’s go!

My top three ships for the character

Penny/Whitley has the potential to be very cute, I think, and they could really wind up looking good together, and they would validate and help each other. Penny/Ren is also surprisingly something that I had suggested to me that I really enjoy! They could have such good dynamic and such a natural, warm relationship (I need to look up art of that!) Also Penny/Ciel. Did we only see her for one scene? Yes. Did she only have three lines? Yes. Did Penny say Ciel was forced to spend time with her? Yes. Are they adorable, and could they be an incredibly cute, well balanced, friend-based, Atlas BFFs turned girlfriends ship? Abso-fricking-lutely. (I almost put Nuts and Dolts on here because it used to be my favorite Penny ship, and I still kind of ship it for their V3 selves, but it got soured for me in canon.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Penny/Jaune is over and done with. Outside of being a direct abuser, the quickest way to make a ship unshippable for me is to have one of them kill the other, even if they do it on request. Emerald/Penny, same as Emerald and Jaune, only her killing Penny was ill intent and Penny didn’t ask for that death, so... Yeah. I could never ship them. Also Nora/Penny is probably my third least favorite ship. They are both very similar, but I think Nora is too pushy and bossy for Penny, and Penny isn’t willful enough to challenge Nora.

My biggest criticism for the character

They never should’ve turned her into a flesh human. I know I’ve talked about this a lot before in other posts, but it was pointless, it didn’t affect her at all, it came with problematic messages and every part of it up to and including the animation and framing was badly done. And also, it ruined her allusion. More on that below!

My favorite thing about the character

Her sincerity and emotional depth made her a great character. In the first three seasons, that made her become fast friends with Ruby and made her good for hinting at a bigger picture through her naivety and trusting nature, and her love for people and clear pure heart made it gut wrenching when she killed and only in the best ways. In the seventh and eighth season, she was one of the only characters that I actually felt for emotionally, because it was clear how torn she was, how much she was despairing, how hard she was trying to do everything she could. And despite the fact that she didn’t do much more than Ruby to actually help people in V8, she had some really valid excuses, including the fact that she was getting manipulated on both sides, from Ruby and Ironwood, from both of their teams. She was a bright light in V8 when there weren’t a lot of characters I was cheering for, and that was largely due to how clear and well depicted her emotions were.

A headcanon I have about them

Penny sees Ironwood as a beloved uncle. Is this canon? No, but I will not stop writing it into fan fictions. When I write for RWBY, I write Ironwood to have been heavily involved in the creation of Penny, and that he was actually completely on board when the idea changed from ‘it’s going to be a weapon’ to ‘she’s going to be my daughter’ (and side note, I think the design was then altered from what was going to be a young adult to a mid-range teenager.) Ironwood was heavily involved in Penny’s training and her day to day life, and Penny was so fond of him and was always eager to tell him anything new she learned. Ironwood was protective of her in Vale because he didn’t want anything to happen to her while she was clearly still young enough to be incredibly naïve, and he wanted to keep her safe since he knew there were infiltrators in Vale. He started funding and helping with the reconstruction of Penny as soon as he got her back to Atlas, and he was one of the first people she saw when she woke back up. But Penny didn’t really think ‘uncle’ until she talked to Ruby later about Qrow, and while Ruby was describing ‘protector/care taker/provider/loves you/but not always there/can leave, she was like O.O “That’s just like General Ironwood! Is he like my uncle? I’m going to call him ‘Uncle General Ironwood the next time I see him!” I don’t care if this isn’t canon. XD

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I do think I would resurrect her again. I think she was a great addition to V7 and 8 and I’m a big fan of Penny, but I would keep her a robot and I would keep her alive! Penny is very OP and making her become a Maiden makes her even more OP, so it’d be hard to keep her with Team RWBY throughout everything. I enjoy splitting teams every now and again, so in my version (which would not include evil Ironwood and instead ‘just needs to do some adjusting, which Team RWBY have to do too,) I’d have Penny be torn, hesitant, saddened... But then she stays on Ironwood’s side! And then I might have her left behind in Atlas too, to maybe have a side plot with Qrow and not-dead James.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Like with James, I think that Penny’s character allusion was really strong before season eight and then it all goes to hell. Although she’s much more connected to the Disney version than the original tale (in which Pinocchio is a scheming, frustrating, hard headed person always getting into mischief and straight up murdered the cricket giving him advice) Penny is a person made by an older crafter, who does break the rules and restrictions she’s given, but only in an effort to have fun and make friends, and she has connections to a blue themed magical girl, and a lying tell in her hiccups, she doesn’t want to be held down, but is often swayed by the opinions of others due to her naïve mindset and the fact that she wears her heart on her sleeve. The clever subversion of her character in the first seven seasons comes from the fact that Penny never needed to ‘become a real girl,’ because she already was one. Her journey instead involved getting that affirmed and Penny breaking away from the swaying of other people and the metaphorical strings that held her back from being the person she wanted to be (well intentioned strings or otherwise.) Although I would want Penny to join James’ side based on her own moral compass, the show did manage to have her breaking away from what others wanted from her and wanted her to be by leaving the life she was trained and kind of born into, and they had her personhood affirmed by having her become a Maiden, given that ‘exclusive to women’ power by the aforementioned blue themed magical maiden. But like with James, this clever and interesting subversion gets chucked out the window in the eighth season, when they threw out the affirmation of her as a real person and real girl in the robotic body she learned to value by having it stripped away from her and die in front of her while she became a flesh human. And they stripped away her ‘breaking away from the strings of the people trying to tell her who to be’ qualities, and they replaced that with ‘doing whatever Ruby wants and letting Ruby talk for her’ and then they just had her die while claiming it’s the only choice she’s ever made - despite that being totally false! So... Boo. Having her not have her lose her robotic body and having her not die, plus having her decide to stay with James through her own moral compass (and then trying to convince him to let Team RWBY help) would I think be plenty enough to make her a really good, interesting, even clever subversion of Pinocchio even if she is mostly based on the Disney version.

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fandom-necromancer · 3 years

Text

It’s never too late to realise

This was prompted by an amazing anon! I hope you like it, I somehow think I could have made this better. Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Characters: Gavin Reed, RK900 [Part2]

Gavin sighed and opened a new document. ‘Gavin.’ ‘Hmm?’ He looked up at the android sitting opposite of him. ‘Your appointment is in ten minutes, are you sure you want to start that report right now?’ ‘The phck is your problem surveying my goddamn terminal?’, Gavin called over before turning back to his screen and shrugging, adding a bit calmer: ‘Didn’t plan on going.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Hey, tin-can, I don’t want to talk to another phcking shrink about my life again, okay? And this week I can get away with it, pretending I didn’t know they already replaced the old one.’ ‘Oh, I’m sure it is terrible’, Nines prodded him. ‘My name is Gavin, I’m an asshole and I hate everyone, now give me the okay to look at dead people.’ ‘That’s not how this works!’, Gavin hissed back. ‘Oh, I’m sorry’, Nines chuckled. ‘My name is Gavin, I’m a socially inept asshole, who hates everyone, ask me your questions I will without doubt find witty comebacks to instead of actually working on my problems and then give me the okay to look at dead people.’ Gavin felt how his shoulders tensed, because phck this tin-can, seriously! As if a machine could understand- ‘Phck it, fine, I’ll go if only to get away from your useless ass.’

Gavin really didn’t want to go. For entirely different reasons than his plastic partner thought of, but honestly it was better he just thought Gavin was too stubborn to get help. No, Gavin knew he needed it, needed some sort of guidance to help him come to terms and ultimately get over his problems. But he also knew the last therapist hadn’t been of any help, so why try again? Maybe he just had to get himself together and press on. Maybe he really just imagined it and if he wouldn’t be this goddamn weak then he could- He sighed as he knocked at the office door at point twelve. ‘Come in!’ So, another try then.

He sat down opposite to the human – were they even human? – therapist. ‘Hello! You must be Detective Reed. My name is Elise Thorn. It’s a pleasure to meet you!’ Gavin took her hand and shook it, grimacing. ‘Let’s see how that changes in a week’s time’, he grumbled. ‘Let’s see how that’ll be then indeed’, she just answered, still smiling. ‘Miss Lisa really didn’t leave a lot of notes behind, so I guess we’ll have to start from scratch again. I’m sorry about that. Would you tell me a bit about yourself? What progress did you make with your previous therapist?’ Gavin laughed ugly. Progress? For real? ‘Well, as it likely states in my file, I have trouble working with androids and there is a severe case of anger issues. That’s about it.’ ‘Okay… Then let’s start with your trouble with androids. What would that be exactly?’

‘I’m afraid of androids.’ Heh, the last time he had said that, Miss Lisa had just laughed him in the face, telling him the revolution was over and that her kind didn’t plan on overthrowing humanity anymore. ‘That’s not what I’m afraid of.’ ‘Then what are you afraid of?’ ‘Their strength. The way they don’t show feelings.’ ‘You do know that’s pretty racist, right? You really shouldn’t think that way.’ Yeah, right. As if Gavin would make the same mistake a second time.

‘I can’t trust androids. My… My partner never did anything, and I should be having no doubts with him, but… yeah. I somehow always think he will turn on me and-‘ ‘And?’ The woman wasn’t smiling, but her face was still looking supportive, so Gavin continued: ‘I always expect androids to fake being friendly and civil and then turn on me when no one’s looking and hurt me.’ He looked up expecting what his previous therapist had said so many times to be repeated: ‘Man up. Hurt you? Why should they? And you’re not looking like a guy that couldn’t take up that fight. Seriously, that’s ridiculous.’ ‘Did you have any experiences with androids that would support that apprehension? Maybe during the revolution?’ Ah, there it was. Why are you like this? Is there a reason? That’s not a valid reason, come on. You just hate us, that’s it. ‘Not during it, before’, Gavin said. ‘I am Elijah Kamski’s half-brother. We grew up together. He started working on androids then and… and there was an accident in the lab. I ran away afterwards and applied at the police academy.’ ‘Do you want to share what happened with me?’ ‘Not really’, Gavin sighed. ‘I want to forget it, but I guess you won’t stop asking, right?’

‘Detective Reed, I am here to help’, she said, putting down the tablet she had written on until now. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want me to know. But the more I know the better I can try to help you.’ Huh. So not telling was an option? ‘You seem surprised.’ Gavin laughed. ‘Just saying your predecessor used to make this an interrogation.’ ‘Well, I heard as much’, she sighed and rested her head in her hands. ‘I was there with Eli, used to watch how he worked on androids while doing my own stuff. Just for the company, I guess. Or the sounds relaxed me, I don’t know. Well, one day I was playing something on my phone and only looked up as I heard my brother choking. The phcking thing was on top of him, nearly crushing his windpipe and I froze, I couldn’t do anything. In the end I beat it with a fire extinguisher until it broke and let go off my brother. I couldn’t spend another second with an android afterwards, I had an argument with Eli in the hospital, how he had to stop, but he couldn’t see my point, convinced it was his error only. Moved out then and kept away from androids. But now they are people and… Well, I have to work with them.’ ‘Are you afraid of androids?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Did you ever spoke with an android about that?’ Gavin let his shoulders fall. ‘Well, the last one was my therapist and he laughed me in the face.’

The woman in front of him cringed at that and quickly underlined something on her tablet messily. ‘Okay. Any other contact with androids that ended badly besides that accident and my predecessor that really has to have his license revoked?’ ‘No. I mean, Connor, the RK800 here punched me unconscious once, but that really was my fault. I don’t like him, but at least that reaction I can understand.’ Still, his new therapist noted it.

‘Okay, that’s something we can work on. You also said you had anger issues?’ ‘I’m easily riled up’, Gavin shrugged. ‘It’s just how I am.’ ‘What makes you think that?’ ‘Well, actually, everyone says that. Has to be some truth to it, hasn’t it?’ ‘What are they saying?’ ‘You sure this isn’t an interrogation?’, Gavin baited with her. ‘You are evading the question. Tell me or say you don’t want to talk about it.’ ‘I’m an asshole, I’m angry all the time, I hate everyone, these kind of things.’ ‘Do you?’ ‘What?’ ‘Do you hate everyone?’, she repeated for him. ‘A bit?’ Gavin had never really thought about it. ‘Okay. Then tell me, are there people you care about?’

Gavin thought about it for a while. ‘Yeah, Tina. She’s a colleague and a friend. My partner, although he is an android. Hell, even Connor and Hank. I guess everyone I know I care about at least a bit.’ ‘What about yourself?’ ‘What kind of question is that?’, Gavin asked. ‘Of course.’ ‘Then tell me, what do you do to take care of yourself? What are your hobbies, what do you like to do? When was the last time you had fun?’ ‘Hey, what kind of phcking feel-good shit is this?’, Gavin wanted to know, refusing to even think about the questions. ‘Would you rather not talk about it?’ ‘Yes! God, I don’t have the time for that!’ Gavin had stood up and was about to go, but the woman held up her hands. ‘That’s okay. We can concentrate on your android related problems first. I think that would be it for now. See you next week then!’ ‘Wait, that’s it?’, Gavin asked, turning back towards the desk. ‘Yeah. I mean unless you want to talk about something else.’ The woman had the audacity to look as innocent as humanly – androidly? – possible.

Gavin thought about the question and contemplated whether asking was worth it, finally deciding that he had nothing to lose: ‘Yeah, I’m curious, what’s your diagnostics?’ ‘I’m not sure yet, we need more than one session for that.’ Gavin snorted. ‘Keeping it mysterious, hmm?’ ‘Maybe.’

Nines had enjoyed working in peace for once. With Gavin gone to visit his therapist, he could finally concentrate on his cases. He didn’t have to bother with the human cursing at random things, shouting at his computer out of nowhere and running to the breakroom and the toilet all the time. He liked working with the man. He preferred it to working with others. But sometimes Gavin just was a pain in the ass with his constant competitive attitude, his stubborn determination to do all the work alone and his damn self-deprecating humour all the time… Maybe this new therapist was able to help the human better than the last one. Or maybe Gavin was just a lost cause, who knew. Nines was just happy about the short break, but all too quickly that time was over. He saw his partner walk towards their desks and was already bracing himself for having to listen to Gavin monologue about what an asshole the new woman was and how talking didn’t do shit and something along these lines. At the very least he would be in a shitty mood for the rest of the day or overly anxious.

It came as some sort of surprise to him, when Gavin just sat down and quietly started up his terminal again, apparently lost to thoughts. Nines furrowed his brows and conducted a quick, maybe not strictly legal search. ‘You have android related PTSD and there is a high chance you are suffering from depression?’ Nines just couldn’t believe it, that was his only explanation to why he had said that out loud. ‘What?!’, Gavin threw back. ‘The phck you get that from?’ ‘Your therapist’s notes… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have looked, but you seemed so different to your usual behaviour.’ ‘Yeah, well phck you, this one actually does her phcking job! Or at least she does a better job! Maybe I am, maybe she is wrong, but goddamn it feels good not to hear the same shit all day!’ Nines didn’t know how to answer, so he tried to resort to humour: ‘Was getting your ass handed to you by Connor really that bad?’ But instead of laughing, Gavin glared at him. ‘Okay, toaster, listen here, because I will say this once and then you can make fun of me all you want. I know I have problems; I know I’m not the nicest guy. But do you really think I’m a cry-baby? I saw my brother nearly getting murdered by one of you phcking things! That I can even look you in the eyes now and work with you is already a huge phcking thing! And I don’t think I’m depressed, but holy shit, getting told to man up and that all my problems are just there because I don’t function your way and that I’m just an asshole who will never change? Not helping! I need another phcking coffee!’

Nines blinked a few times, staring into the open air over Gavin’s chair. He didn’t know what to make of that new information and quietly opened a connection with Connor to share it. The RK800 too stopped working and stared ahead for a while, before they both turned to look at each other. We’ve made it worse, haven’t we?

[>next part]

#Detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #Gavin Reed #RK900 #Gavin Reed gets therapy

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xxrat--punkxx · 3 years

Text

JUMPING ON THIS BAND WAGGON

Ok here’s my 2020, tw//mentions of suicide and abuse

(Strong start lmao) 2020 sucked ass lemmi tell ya. This year was a fucking train wreck from the start, ur hay I got character development so who cares. Well let’s start with a review, bad things first.

Yall remember when everyone was scared shields of COVID?. Lol. But that’s stating the obvious. When we went into lockdown I was first like fuck yeah summer lol, but then the threat of ‘staying home for the rest of the year’ set in, bing in my first year of sixth form I really understand the stakes of exams next year. So having to stay home for the rest of the year freaked me the fuck out. I literally couldent cope, having to do all classes online was fucking hell, they were never zoom classes either, just ‘lmao do the work and hand it in’ which was near impossible for me. I was also in the constant ‘oh no I’m so stressed but I will do NOTHING about this lmao~’. As the days turned to weeks and inevitably MONTHS, my mental health said buckle up bitches. Days were spent sitting in my room on my phone doing NOTHING, meanwhile this perpetual notion of stress played in my head yet there I sat not having the will or motion to move.

Then my parents got involved. Now THATS when shit went from pretty crummy to awful, now I was living with them constantly I was able to see who they really were with no real filter. And oh god do I have issues, I didn’t even fucking know. Every day was an argument, my mom was the worst, the MANIPULATION, the constant ‘you're tearing this family apart’ or ‘so I’m the problem?’ Or the fucking indecent playing the victim. And I all only just realised, that they have been doing this ALL MY LIFE. Dad got involved but he was just physically violent, only twice tho. The worst part was my work, admittedly yes, I didn’t do everything I was given, but I tried, I really did with what little motivation I had. But with just one ‘oh your daughter hasn’t handed in this work’ I was a ‘lazy, good for nothing failure’ to quote ‘who will never go anywhere in life’ so I’d spend the rest of the day crying while they play the victim bury saupying I was abusing their love and just using them for money. But the next day be like ‘oh I’m so proud of you you're doing so well’ having that statement being completely unrelated to the previous events. This was constant. So that’s that story. I won’t talk much about Black Lives Matter because we all know about how that went. But it really affected me, I found myself crying over the victims multiple times. And the lack of support for the movement my peers or family showed made it fucking worse. Crying was a common occurrence for me now, mental health really taking a nosedive, being too scared to call myself ‘depressed’ or ‘mentally ill’ to any extent because I know I’m faking it and just want validation. That was also constant. Fun times huh.

BUT IT GETS WORSE 🥲, then I had to go back to school, awful to fucking abhorrent now. Year two of sixth form fun right? Sure, if u take away the ‘no free time period’ or the wanting to kill mystery for literally a whole 3 weeks. That was my lowest peak. Ever. I’ve never wanted to kill myself before then, don’t like that feeling. Shocker huh. That mixed with the constant anxiety of nothing is right anymore and also needing to succeed at school all made one healthy dose of ‘.exe has stopped working’ juice. Yet I played the fool, acting happy as if nothing had happened, or was happening at least, and venting by imagining scenes in my head with fictional characters lmao. Telling myself ’u can’t kill yourself because u don’t deserve too and ur just asking for attraction’. Then midterms happened blah blah blah, stress but I’m numb to it now that whole story.

But that’s not to say there wasn’t a silver lining.

Onto the good things finally, yes the year was probably one of the worst years I’ve been through in my life it did not go without its positives. For example early this year I got into borderlands properly, I finally explored the fandom and had a look at what it was like. Albeit a slow process considering I was still predominantly on Instagram at the time, and finding a community of a fandom on there is impossible. I started browsing Pinterest or the Internet for images that would link to my favourite characters, Who were to no ones surprise is the calypso twins. Pinterest led me to artworks and artworks led me to the infamous Lazulizard. Who I cherish all my being. Three weeks later after looking at her entire tumblr blog and stalking her of pretty much all her content (sorry for that by the way) I found border-spam. By this point I didn’t have tumblr and I had no intention of getting it seeing as an ongoing war I’ve had with myself since 2012, declaring I will be the bigger man and never get tumblr, which in hindsight was an awful mindset. Seeing as tumblr is probably one of my favourite places on Earth right now. But after also stalking border spams account, again sorry, and starving her of any content she’d ever posted. I was happy that this fandom although as niche as it is was actually getting content. At the time spam and lazu were absolute gods to me. Being the sole producer of a fandom I probably wasn’t even in properly, having both impeccable writing and impeccable art like good God. I would often think ‘wow wouldn’t it be incredible if I actually got to talk to them one day’, now look at me I’m doing commissions for both of them good God. And to be short joining tumblr felt like a fever dream and it’s probably the greatest thing I could’ve done this year, my parents are wrong, talking to strangers is amazing.

Something notable of mention this year as I actually got to figure out who I am as a person, I was able to find my own style and to find my interests, specifically in what I liked in terms of clothing. I thought I was LOL 2012 goth hipster but no apparently I’m manic Pixie dream girl. Going from pink is the ugliest colour in the world to having it be the only colour I will ever wear. I made some pretty big choices this year like cutting pretty much all of my hair off and dying it for the first time. Thanks strict parents for only letting me do that one now. But like I said I went to a character Ark and you know what I like it. I also played BioShock fallout and horizon zero dawn for the first time this year starting to really feel like a proper epic gamer, good lord kill me, and falling in love with all of them almost immediately. I also figured out on a plant mum and I’m into vulture culture although my parents have to disagree with that one. Asking to buy an Horse and fox skull somehow scared them a little bit can’t seem to figure out why lmao.

So a conclusion, Fuck you 2020 you made me miss two comic cons and I will never forgive you for that shit I am SO mad. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt you did make me meet some absolutely incredible people who I consider my friends, despite going against every single Internet safety law I was ever taught as a child. But you know what who gives a flying shit I love you guys. So that’s what I wanted to say. I want to say thank you to everyone on here and everyone is following me or even interacted me with on that matter. You mean the world to me and I really fucking mean it. Are you going to be nothing but amazing ever since I walked onto this fucking hell hole. And what I go through all of this bullshit again if it means I ended up here? You know what I think I just might. So again I thank you and I hope your year didn’t go as badly as mine, and fuck it bring on whatever the fucks next!

Honourable mention of this year was The time Elisa actually complimented me and I cried a little bit and had a panic attack but you know that’s for another day

🥺💕

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ziracona · 3 years

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hoh I'm really sorry friend but you got Talbot's backstory kinda muddled. Some things you stated that he did, he didn't actually do for the reasons you stated. He didn't experiment on killers just for fun -- he ran from them. they hunted him. he experimented on them to find a dosage right for himself. he also didn't experiment on an animal for fun. it was dead. Vigo apparently talked about escaping and it had to do with serum. Its why he injected himself after tests. He wanted a way out.

I’m going to answer this in two parts since it’s stated in two. First, friend, I am going to have to operate on the assumption that you have very very strong feelings about Talbot and assume everything said against him is pretty much the same after a glance or something like it, because I never once said he experiments on the killers for fun. I said the Entity I think lets Talbot experiment on other killers now that he is one too as “punishment for them and fun research times for Talbot,” not that Talbot experiments on them for fun. I think he does enjoy doing his scientific research, but that aside, the above is just a description of the Entity’s reasoning in letting him do that/its POV. I certainly never said he does it ‘just for fun’. In fact, I explicitly stated his motivation for becoming a killer was to attempt to protect himself. I have to assume you didn’t really read my post at all, or perhaps got it confused with another. I know my shit. I read up. Though it is true I say ‘animals’ when, while he canonically experiments on both rats and crows, only the one rat happened for sure before he moved on to the Trapper. Although, that’s kind of worse... Again though, I never once said he did any of this for fun. I know he injected people to see what the serum would do, in a very reckless and poorly thought attempt to escape the realm. I explicitly mention this. Perhaps you are confused because I describe him as torturing people, and he’s not just doing pain for fun--this is because torture is not limited to only pain inflicted on someone out of cruelty or a desire to manipulate them. The dictionary definition of the verb, to torture, is “To cause intense suffering. To torment”. And he absolutely tortures killers, survivors, and reanimated realm animals alike as a means to his own ends. Also, the Entity has not erased all his memories--I know the archives has some memory deterioration lore added, but much of what he did to others happened well before any of that began, and explicitly some of his own addons mention things he explicitly remembers. The Entity did of course leave him to suffer in the void, with is a form of torture, and used the medical affects of blight itself to help manipulate him. Unfortunately, being hurt yourself doesn’t excuse you from the responsibility of what horrors you inflict on other people.

For part two, I am sure my answer is coming off as a bit abrasive. I appreciate the apology, but yes, it is rather rude. Even without the lack of attention to detail. Let me try to say this more fairly though, because I don’t know you at all, and in all likelihood, you’re a very nice and decent person who doesn’t mean anything by this, and simply has deep feelings about this character. Also, this isn’t all directed just at you, but to some degree at everybody who has sent me one of these in the past, or will in the future, which I am very tired of. I am going to quit answering most of them from here on.

First of all, I understand feeling deeply about a character or topic. I understand being frustrated or even hurt when you see opinions that distress you, or seem unjust compared to what you believe. That’s natural, and even sweet. And I am all for talking about how you feel and think and why, and leaving that in the tags so other people might hear what you have to say. Even for messaging people to see if they want to have a discussion with you. It’s endearing when people love things and want to fight for them. I only describe Talbot as more interesting than many of the others, because I was not asked specifically about my sympathy level, and it doesn’t factor high in importance to me where he is concerned, but you’re not wrong that Talbot is more sympathetic--or, at least, depending on interpretation, much more capable of being written sympathetic while adhering to canon--than many of the other killers. That said, he’s also--completely in line with canon--interpretable as pretty monstrous. I don’t think I necessarily paint him heavily either direction. Simply I personally feel fairly little sympathy for someone who commits the kinds of dehumanizing acts of scientific research torture on war prisoners without a second thought, ignores the consequences of his actions, and so quickly casts his humanity aside when in tribulation. He devolves from someone who could have changed and been good, to a man who is a horrific monster and cares only for him self, with no lines he will not cross (his own words, and pre-killer even). And to some people, that is tragic. To me, I feel little kinship for the man he was before, and am simply disappointed in him for failing so easily and completely. I can see why someone might interpret his character quite differently, but my take is just as valid in line with canon, and it’s mine.

I don’t mind people telling me their thoughts, and I don’t mind reading takes in the tags. And again, I very much understand the desire to stand up for something you care about if you feel it is wronged. But that’s not really what you’ve done here, messaging me on anonymous. To the best of my knowledge, I have never even interacted with you before. You didn’t open a discussion with me; you talked down to me, and you decided to argue with me about a topic I did not invite anyone into debate with myself. I am not an opinion blog, or a discussion blog. I am a personal blog. But still, you were discontent to not go into my space and try to scold me about my own opinions as a stranger. And you did all of it on anonymous, where there is no tag attaching anything you said even to your online persona, and no way for me to even be assured of you seeing an answer, or entering any dialogue with me. Which means that the goal, subconsciously probably since I know nothing at all about you and have no reason at all to think you’re anything but a decent person who is a bit carried away today with love for Talbot Grimes, but still the goal, was never to have a dialogue with me in the hopes maybe I would see and like your reasoning and we could talk about something we both have an interest in. It was that you felt so entitled to dictate someone you don’t know’s opinion about something they disagree with you on, that you felt compelled to leave a missive instructing me to correct my wrongs in my inbox.

Which, well, is rude.

This is probably a bit more, uh, ‘icy’? Than is totally necessary. I really am not angry at all; I understand you probably had no real ill will towards me doing this. I just have this happen a lot, and I am tired of it, so I want an easy frame of reference to link back to for why I find this behavior rude and cowardly and an unasked for nuisance--badly intentioned consciously or not. I truly am sorry if this makes you feel bad or distressed to read, especially if you’re a younger fan. I truly am not mad at you--and I do not at all think or mean to imply you are a bad person. Everybody is occasionally thoughtless. It’s not remotely representative of character. But please don’t keep doing this to people who aren’t interested in a debate. And if you believe in something enough you want to take the discussion to someone else, sign your name to it. If you feel enough conviction to make something someone else’s problem, make it your problem for real too. I’m truly not mad though, and wish you the best.

(and my ‘if you are annoyed by this or any of my other personal opinions and desperately want me to read your thoughts on anon about that’ requirements below the cut)

It’s literally not worth my time to read anon hate or people upset I don’t like a serial killer, so if you for some wild incomprehensible reason really feel a need to see me read that and answer to you instead of just delete and/or block without a look, then either leave my $5 on my Kofi, or get used to knowing I didn’t even read it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have to actually get paid to not file that shit under ‘I’m not paid enough to deal with this’.

#ask #anonymous #dead by daylight #talbot grimes #the blight #again Anon I know this might read very abrasive to you. Legit the only emotion I am feeling is mild annoyance #You're not a bad person for mildly annoying me and please don't feel too bad or dwell on this if u even #read it & care. Just. Please don't keep doing this to people #Anonymous

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