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memepaiton · 4 years
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…and me.
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memepaiton · 4 years
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YAAASS GIRL
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Yesterday I started playing Hyrule Warriors and I’m so happy you can use Zelda to kick some Grublin Asses ™
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memepaiton · 4 years
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🤣🤣🤣
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Ah yes. Me. My girlfriend. And her 200 lb. Hylian boyfriend who is also a wolf.
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Arson is okay.
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memepaiton · 4 years
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AAAAAHHHHHH
- ☾ Taehyung Boyfriend Imagine ☽ - 
Taehyung gives you a rough night after you tell him about how stressed you have been for the past couple of weeks. He just wanted to make you feel better.
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memepaiton · 4 years
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AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
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@kinkforink
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memepaiton · 4 years
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emily: *gets hit by a car*
passerby: arE YOU OKAY????
emily: please..i need.. my phone
*opens ‘BAU BADDIES!’ groupchat
emily: LMFAOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT??!?
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memepaiton · 4 years
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So cute
Let Your Hair Down
A/N: Number 19 was by FAR the most requested, and thanks to yall, I was able to get a few extra nuggets of information from your ideas. So thanks to @nklnnd and @stranger-heathers for requesting, as well as all the anons. This is my first smut and it’s very light because I am shy, and idk how you will react. As always, much love, and my requests are always open. <3
Requests: #2- “Why is your hair always in a ponytail?”
#3- “I didn’t know someone with 3 Phds could be so clueless.”
#19- “YOU LEFT AN S SHAPED HICKEY ON MY BACK?!” 
Summary: Reader goes undercover for the team, and has to reveal an insecurity to Spencer. Spencer shows her just how much he loves her “insecurity” and fluffy smut ensues. 
Warnings: SMUT, talk of violence and murder
———-
“y/n we need you to go undercover.” Hotch said to you sternly. 
“Why me, I don’t fit his type.” You asked. Your most recent serial killer hunt down involved a man who had entered a psychotic break after his wife went missing. He had decided to hunt and kidnap women who resembled his wife, and interogate them. When they couldn’t answer personal questions (obviously because they weren’t his wife) he would go into a rage and strangle them. 
“You don’t look like his wife, but you could throw him off the most if you act attracted to him first, rather than him come to you. We need to throw him off.” Derek explained. 
“Oh so you want me to flirt with a serial killer.” You said while rolling your eyes. 
“You have the best shot at catching his attention.” Emily told you while rubbing your back, trying to comfort you. 
“Are you saying I’m pretty Emily?” You joked. 
She laughed. “The prettiest.”
“Fine, I’ll do it. Where is he going tonight?” you asked.
“Let’s see on Wednesdays he frequents The Cavern. It’s club just west of Smithsdale. Looks fancy, you might have to dress out y/n.” Penelope explained. 
“Well it’s already 5:00. We need to prepare, and I need different clothes.” you told the team. 
“Ok, JJ, Prentiss you two address the media, we need our unsub to think were far off track so he feels comfortable going to the club tonight. Penelope, I need you to get in contact with the club and let them know we’re planning an operation. “Derek, Rossi, and I will head over there to set up the equipment. Rossi and I will be in the back watching from afar. Derek will pose as a bartender. Reid and y/l/n need to go get ready, buy the appropriat clothing, you two will be on the floor as patrons tonight. Reid will have your back tonight, he’s the least likely to intimidate the unsub.” Hotch said. 
You looked over at Spencer who had stayed quiet through the whole ordeal, but looked rather annoyed. You assumed it was because Hotch reminded him that everyone viewed him as a kid. You felt bad for him. Spencer and you had always been pretty close, and he had confided in you more than once that it hurts his self esteem when people don’t think he’s strong enough. You always had to reassure him. People didn’t understand Spencer like you did. After being friends for over three years you realized you were in love with him. You didn’t wanna risk anything because you were coworkers so you kept it to yourself, but you did flirt with him relentlessly for your own satisfaction, but also to hopefully add some confidence to his brain. 
You liked everything about Spencer. You loved listening to him ramble on about different facts. How he carried himself despite all the pain life had put him through, but most of all you loved how much he cared about other people, and how he was always willing to do anything to protect those he loves. 
You walked over to where the boy genuis was sitting and put your hand on his shoulder. “Come on Pretty Boy, we need to go shopping.”
He looked up at you and smiled, grabbing your hand while we got up, and holding it for a little longer than he should have. You knew the team was watching, and probably smiling. They knew how you felt about Spencer, and even tried to reassure you he felt the same way, but he acted to oblivious for you to even consider it. 
You and Spencer got in the car and drove to the nearest TJ Maxx. Looking fancy never had to be expensive. You quickly found a tight black dress, and picked out a nice button down and tie for Spencer to wear. The two of you laughed while driving back to the hotel, before the nerves set in for the night. 
“Are you scared?” Spencer asked while looking at you. 
You thought for a moment. You had gone undercover before, but the last time you had, it had almost ended badly. That time the Unsub was a woman, who had no hesitation in stabbing you. Luckily Rossi had been there to shoot her down, and she had stuck the knife in your side missing all of the important arteries. You were in such shock it didn’t even hurt, and your recovery was fast. However, since then you couldn’t deny it. You were scared to go undercover again. But tonight Spencer would be watching you. You trusted him with your life, and you knew he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. 
“Not as long as you’re with me Spence.” You said while giving his bicep a squeeze. 
You watched him blush and turn his attention back to the road. 
—–
Back at the hotel, you and Spencer decided to just get ready together. You were in the bathroom finishing up your makeup when he walked in to brush his hair back. He looked so handsome in such a simple outfit. Spencer always took “Pretty Boy” as a backhand compliment, but you knew it was true. Spencer could be model if he wanted to. 
You finished your makeup, and tightened the ponytail your hair had been in all day. 
“Why is your hair always in a ponytail?” Spencer asked. 
You looked at him through the mirror. “I just like it that way I guess.”
“I’ve never seen your hair down. I bet you have pretty hair.” He said nonchalantly. 
You looked at him shocked. “No. I don’t.” You said frustratedly before storming out of the bathroom to go sit on your bed. 
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Spencer said, following you onto the bed. “I was just curious, that’s all.”
You could never stay mad at him for more than a few seconds. 
“I used to get made fun of in school because of the way my hair looks. When I got my first job they told me it looked unprofessional. Since then I pretty much always have it up.” You explained to Spencer. 
He gave you a soft smile and grabbed your hand, holding it in his. 
“You have nothing to be insecure about sunshine.” You smiled at the nickname. He rarely used it, but it always made your heart leap out of your chest when he did. Suddenly you felt your stomach drop and you got mad at him again. 
How dare he. How dare he make you feel this way, and never feel the same way about you. This whole thing was just so frustrating. You sighed and yanked your hand away from his. You walked towards the window to hide your face from his. 
“I don’t understand how someone with 3 Phd’s could be so clueless!” You exclaimed. 
“I’m not clueless.” he said simply, then the next thing you knew, he spun you around and his lips were on yours. As soon as the initial shock weared off you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and began to deepen the kiss. All you could think about was how soft his lips were and how the excitement of the moment had run straight to your core. You broke apart, breathless. Obviously alot needed to be said. But all those things could be said later. You needed him, and now. 
You pulled Spencer onto the bed and stradled him. 
“Are you sure?” He asked. Your kiss was his response. You tangled your fingers into his hair,and if at all possible tried to pull him closer. His hands started to roam your body, and settled on your ass, giving it a tight squeeze as he began to grind himself into you. You felt his cock get hard beneath you, and you rolled your hips, desperate for friction. 
“That was fast.” You teased. 
“Baby, I’m anything but fast.” He joked back, pulling you towards him for another kiss. Your hands went up to your ponytail, and you quickly tugged it out before he noticed. Your hair draped over your shoulders, and you pulled away from him. 
He looked at you in awe. As if he was seeing you for the first time. As if you were a beautiful piece of art, only for him. He smiled at you, and his eyes darkened. He ran his hands through your hair and gave it a light tug as he started to kiss you again. 
He let his hands travel down and start to unzip your dress. You pulled it off quickly, ready to rid the mere existence of clothing between your two bodys. He chuckled at how eager you were. How could he be so calm in a time like this? You needed to do something to balance the hormones in the room. You tilted your head down and started to kiss and lightly suck on his neck. 
“mmm- fuck.” you heard him groan under his breath. You smiled and continued to leave the tiniest of hickeys along his collar bone. 
He started to get more desperate for contact. He was pulling your hips down onto him, and grinding up on you. Finally you rolled over so he could rid himself of his clothing. You watched him as he started to take of his boxers and saw him smirk. Then when you looked down you realized where his rush of confidence had come from. You hadn’t really considered how big he’d be, but clearly he was not one to disappoint. 
You couldn’t wait to be on my knees and have my way with him, but you didn’t have any time today. He climbed back onto the bed with you and started to make out with you. You reached down to remove your panties but he stopped your arm. 
“Leave them on.” He whispered. The started to rub your clit through the thin lacy fabric. You didn’t realize how sensitive you were until you started to moan. 
“Please Spence.” you pleaded. 
“Only because we don’t have a lot of time.” He agreed, while pulling your panties to the side and linning himself up with your dripping center. He slowly slid in, memorizing how every inch felt. When we finally bottomed out, he let out a low groan, twitching inside of you. You felt more full than you ever had before. Every inch of you felt like it was on fire, and finally he started to pump himself in and out of you. 
All that was left were breathy moans, and the sounds of your skin meeting together. Somewhere along the line he had turned you over, and was fucking you from behind, leaving trails of kisses along your back.
“You’re mine.” He grunted into your ear, slamming into you more roughly.
Spencer was a genius. So of course he knew how to please a girl. No matter how much other people would make fun of him for being innocent, he was a fast learner. He hit an angle that brushed against your g-spot, and therefore continued to fuck you at that angle, pounding into relentlessly. He brought his thumb to your most sensitive bundle of nerves and began to rub soft circles, quickly bringing you to the edge. 
“Spence, I- Fuck, p-please..” you whined, unable to control yourself. 
His face was in pure bliss. “Me too.” 
He started to fuck you harder, and pushed you over that wonderfully sinful edge. You came and nearly screamed, something no one has EVER made you do. If this was a Quickie, you could only imagine what real sex felt like with Spencer. 
You realized he wasn’t far behind so you decided to help him out a little bit. “Cum inside me pretty boy.”
He locked eyes with you and started to loose control. “Oh fuck, oh fuuuuck.” He moaned when he finally finished. 
He pulled out and slid your panties back in place. “I want you to remember this for the rest of the night, and remind yourself to come back to my room later.” He whispered in your ear. 
“Oh we will definitely be doing this more often.” You replied. 
——–
You and Spencer had shockingly made it to the club on time. Your nerves were gone at this point, and truly, you just wanted to catch the unsub and be done, so you could get back to the hotel with Spencer. 
Luckily it didn’t take too long. You spotted the man as soon as you stepped foot into the venue, and he was easy to pursue. You shared your drink with him, and complimented his eyes. His cold, grey eyes. Nothing like Spencer’s warm honey brown ones. 
He offered to take you home, and of course you obliged. You knew you had to aggrivate him or else there would be no reason to take him into custody. So you pointed out something that would make him self consious. He was an insecure man who believed his wife left him. 
“Have you ever thought about work out classes. We could go to the gym together, you have a bit of a beer belly.” You knew it had been a lame, and low blow to his ego, but it worked. 
He slapped the shit out of you. But it worked. 
The moment his hand came into contact with your face, Spencer had appeared out of nowhere to slam him into a wall. 
After he was put in handcuffs, spencer walked next to you. 
“Are you okay?” He asked, touching the red mark on your face. 
You laughed and decided to tease him a little more. “Normally I’m into that sort of thing, though I would much rather someone else did it.” 
His eyes darkened once more. You knew there was more to Spencer than he would lead on. He gets stepped on so much in every other aspect in life, it would only be fitting he wants more control in the bedroom. That made tonight even more exciting. 
——-
Back in the hotel you returned to the room you shared with Emily. Emily and you were also extremely close, so you were always pretty open with eachother. 
“I like your hair.” She told you. “and you did a great job tonight.”
You smiled at her brightly. “Thanks hun.”
If you didn’t flirt with your best friend, were you even really best friends?
You began to change out of your dress and pull on your pajama bottoms. 
“Is that an S on your back?” Emily asked, her voice going up an octave. 
You came to a halt. “What?”
She quickly whipped out her phone to snap a picture to show you. Sure enough, there was a line of hickies on your back, in the shape of an S. 
“I wonder who gave you those.” She said with a scoff. 
You and Spencer hadn’t even talked about what happened yet, let alone decided if or how you would tell the team. 
“I’m happy for you, ya know. And I won’t tell anyone.” Emily told you. 
“Thank you Em. Everything happened kinda fast, I don’t really know what’s going on right now.” you admitted. 
“Well then I imagine you need to go and talk to him, huh?” She said.
“Yes, I suppose so.”
——-
You glanced around the hallway before knocking on his door. He quickly opened it and you dashed inside. 
“I changed infront of Emily.” You told him seriously. 
“Okay?” Confused he sat down. 
“YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THAT YOU LEFT ME A S MADE OF HICKIES ON MY BACK.” You told him in a stern tone. 
“Oh, oops.” He said sheepishly. 
Then you both broke out in a fit of laughter, laying down in bed together. 
“We need to talk about his don’t we?” Spencer said, while playing with a strand of your hair. 
“Yeah, I think we do…look Spencer, I’ve liked you forever. Not in the way that I want to just hang out and fuck, but in the way that…well, all I want is you. I want to be yours, for real.” you tried to explain. 
“I think I’m in love with you.” Spencer blurted out. 
You looked at him in shock. 
“I’ve liked you since I met you. In a romantic way, I mean. Sexually too, clearly, um..” He cleared his throat. “What I mean is. I love you. I love everyone on this team because I care about them, and they are my family. But I think I’m IN love with you. I see you, and I see my future, my happiness, and my whole universe just condensed into one person. I guess I was scared to say anything because I didn’t want to be wrong about how you felt about me and ruin our friendship, because the truth is, I can’t see my life without you in it.” He explained. 
Is this what it’s like to go to heaven? you wondered. 
“So…are we, dating?” You asked. 
He leaned in and kissed you softly. “If you’re mine, then I’m yours.”
You two spent the rest of the night in pure happiness and bliss. 
——-
You hadn’t decided how to tell the team, so you just decided they would figure it out in their own time. Of course Emily already knew, but she was sworn to secracy. 
On the Jet, you and Spencer sat together, reading and occasionally holding hands under the table. 
Spencer let out a frusterated sigh and set his book down. You looked over at him, silently asking whats wrong. 
“I need a haircut, my hair is all in my face.” He pouted. 
You laughed and tugged your scrunchie out of your own hair. Much to the surprise of literally everyone else on the team. Hotch gave you a curious look, and you handed the scrunchie to Spencer. 
“Here, you can put your hair up with this.” you told him.
“I don’t know how.”
Rolling your eyes and smiling, you got up and started to pull his hairback into a low ponytail. 
Derek had a smirk on his face, and Garcias looked like she was going to implode. 
Deciding to give up the act. You sat back down and said “I can teach you how to do it yourself later tonight babe.”
Nonchalantly he replied “ok baby.”
I glanced around the room to see the team in shock. 
“It finally happened?” Penelope asked, to no one in particular. 
I just shrugged my shoulders. 
“They grow up so fast.” Rossi added while wiping a fake tear away from his eye. 
Finally I made eye contact with Hotch, who gave me a curt nod and a smile. Of course team member relationships were supposed to be forbidden, but I had a feeling everyone was secretly rooting for us anyways. 
I laid my head on Spencers shoulders, and felt a hand come up and play with my hair. 
I relaxed and melted into him, spending the rest of the ride home, in peace. 
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Tony: hey, kiddo, how’ve you been? How’s school?
Peter, a struggling™️ teen: I am a festive pinãta and God is a thirteen year old boy whose parents just announced their divorce.
Tony:
Loki walks in the room: same
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Oh fuck
Horror Story: When your mom hears you calling that one fictional character daddy and she asks you to explain what it means 
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memepaiton · 4 years
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It really has
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It always has....?
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Oh my god
LISTEN UP
PROTESTERS IN DC ARE GOING MISSING
DC BLACKOUT ACCOUNT HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN
SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS HAPPENING THERE, POLICE JAMMED THEIR PHONES
PLEASE SPREAD AWARENESS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO SHUT DOWN THE #DCBLACKOUT ON TWITTER. THIS IS HAPPENING. BE CAREFUL. PROTESTERS ARE MISSING AND GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO COVER IT UP
DON'T LET THIS MESSAGE LEFT UNSEEN.
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Mood
Nobody has the right to call me “doll” except for Bucky Barnes
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Yes, it does.
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memepaiton · 4 years
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“Why eat when you can be pretty?”
— Hxpelesslavender
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memepaiton · 4 years
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Fucking mood
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memepaiton · 4 years
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WANT!!!!
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Despite being human you had been around the two demons long enough to know what exactly scared them. They loved messing with you, so every opportunity you got to get vengeance you took it.
Today was no different, Anti and Dark were making a video and were getting quite intense and into it. So you ‘borrow’ one of the mics and start making creepy voices, even throwing in a few other languages to make you sound more menacing.
*GIF*
Anti groans loudly, “well played human. Now can you stop being creepy, you’re meant to be cute, not creepy?”
You giggle and drop the mic dramatically before emerging from the shadows behind the camera.
Dark chuckles, “she’s been around us too long Anti, we’ve corrupted her.”
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