#YOU CAN’T TELL ME A DUDE IS ALL *HAUNTED BY HIS PAST* AND THEN THE THING THAT FUCKING WELL *SHOULD* HAUNT HIM…

[benbamboozled]

Bruce Wayne Headcanons

that I cannot reconcile with current/most/ALL of his comics characterization but I hold onto nevertheless

—Bruce Wayne!! trains each of his Robins with the goal of them becoming better than him.

—Bruce Wayne!! intends for the Robins to be his actual failsafe if he ever went off the deep end. (Fuck that weirdo robot lol.)

—Bruce Wayne!! 1000% blames himself for Jason Todd’s death I don’t care what the comics have had him say or what his dumbass inner-narrative has said…*handwave handwave* all of that was just him desperately trying to cover the hole in his heart from failing his son so completely.

#Bruce Wayne headcanons #yes this IS a stealth rant about BvR and other things I hate. #the Jason Todd one in particular…like… #FIRST OF ALL—what fucking parent blames their teen kid for being *murdered in cold blood by a serial killer*??? NOT ONE THAT I WANT TO KNOW! #SECOND OF ALL—BRUCE DIDN’T EVEN *KNOW* THAT JASON WAS FUCKING *THERE*!!!! LIKE… #HOW WOULD HE *NOT* LOOK BACK ON THAT AND GO ‘I should have been better for him’????? #and like…as I’ve said before—I could buy him using The Story Of Jason Todd as like a Teachable Moment (tm) #to try to get SOMEthing of value out of Jason’s BRUTAL MURDER BY A NOTORIOUS SERIAL KILLER— #WHO THEN WENT ON TO TRY TO KILL THE ENTIRE UN BTW. #but like…he *himself* thinking that Jason was to blame??? NO WAY. nuh uh #not Mr. Tortured By Being Unable To Save His Parents When *He* Was A Child. NO. DO NOT PASS GO. #man I feel like I had a third point but idk I’m too angyy lol. #idk WHY WOULD BRUCE NOT BLAME HIMSELF FOR LEAVING JASON ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! #IT DOESN’T FUCKING ADD UP!!! #YOU CAN’T TELL ME A DUDE IS ALL *HAUNTED BY HIS PAST* AND THEN THE THING THAT FUCKING WELL *SHOULD* HAUNT HIM… #HAVE HIM BE LIKE ‘lol sucks to suck.’ #YOU CANT EVEN SAY IT’S UNRELIABLE NARRATION BECAUSE IT IS NEVER CHALLENGED *WITHIN THE FUCKING* NARRATIVE!!! #LIKE SURE IF THE *GOAL* WAS TO HAVE BRUCE WAYNE BE A FULL-ON HUMBERT HUMBERT LEVEL BIG FUCKING LIAR THAT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY TO DO IT— #BUT THAT IS CLEARLY *NOT* WHAT IS HAPPENING!!! WE ARE CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO THINK ‘aw poor Bruce too bad Jason sucked so hard. :(’ #okay *deep breath exhales smoke from my nostrils* okay I think I’m done.

[carmyboobear]

Speak your mind about sub Carmy 🎤

*taps mic*

HELLO thank you all for gathering here tonight. I’m here to talk about a topic that has gone wildly and widely undiscussed. and that is: SUBMISSIVE CARMY BERZATTO!!!!!! *uproarious applause*

Not all of us want to dominate men. That’s okay. But I hope by the end of this Ted Talk YOU TOO can see the beauty of a submissive man

ok do lock in because I have a lot to say. Also goes without saying but we’re gonna get nasty so 🔞

tags include: handjobs, edging, overstimulation, coming early, praise kink, sub carmy

Carmy carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. His head is racing at a million miles an hour. He’s so hard on himself all the time, pushing himself past his limits, often if not always for his detriment. Imagine how good it would feel for him to be able to turn that all off, to just relax for once.

He crumples under praise, folds immediately with soft affection. He’s eager to please and willing to follow orders. If anything, he WANTS to follow orders, and he wants to do it perfectly. He’d do anything you ask of him, endlessly sacrificial at heart, often for no greater good.

And okay look. Maybe I wanna make Carmy whimper and whine! Is that such a crime! He’s had so little sexual experience, and for someone to take the reins for him here… like I’m just imagining giving him a handjob and you’re edging him, telling him not to come yet, and he’s so turned on and worked up it hurts. (Also basically I saw this video of this dude getting edged and he whined “sorry” when he accidentally finished and it’s haunted me ever since. Sorry for all that)

“You’re doing so good for me, Carmy,” you’d say as you slowly pump his shaft. Your hand, covered in slick, glides fluidly up and down. His cock is rigid and flushed a deep red. You’ve been keeping him at the edge for a while now, stopping when you know he’s about to come.

He’s the prettiest like this, too. His pretty baby blues, half lidded eyes glossy with tears. His pink cheeks, flushed with heat and embarrassment. His bitten lips, parted and whining. His muscles tighten as he winds up, sweaty abs and pecs clenching. He’s a sight for sore eyes like this.

“Don’t come,” you remind him quietly, slowing the touch of your curled hand. He’s a whining mess, dribbling pre cum down his slit.

“I—I wanna come,” he whimpers, almost sobs. “Please, please—“

“I said you can’t come.” Your hand rests at his base, holding it tight. He throws his head back, chest heaving. “Be a good boy, Carmy. I thought you said you were going to be good.”

“S-Stop, I’m gonna—mm—!” Carmy’s body tightens, and he cries as he comes all over your hand. He’s so worked up he can’t stop himself, not when you keep talking to him like this. “Fffuck—Ohh—“

“Carmy,” you say disapprovingly.

“I’m s-sorry,” he whines pathetically, cum shooting excessively from his tip. You sigh in disapproval and start quickly tugging on his twitching cock again.

You drag him through the rest of his orgasm, keeping your fingers tight on his wet cock. He apologizes over and over as he’s coming, thrusting helplessly into your hand. You keep touching even when his cock goes soft and sensitive, and he lets out little pinched, wounded noises.

So…yeah. Submissive Carmy.

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto smut #carmy smut #my asks #my blurbs #this has been sitting in my inbox for the past week and I’ve just been staring at it and looking at what I had written and like #IM BEING BRAVE IM JUST GONNA POST IT #anyway thank u olive for this ask and letting me speak my truth as always #my smut #sub carmy

[your-enby-antihero]

🪞🔴🪞🕯️✉️🕯️🪞🔴🪞

Y’all don’t understand Aimee Carrero always walks into the CR studio and fucking eats every time. She is so woman and no one gets it she is just the most ever and no one gets it. This chapter has to tie for one of my favourite (it’s hard they all tie for my favourite but maybe this one a itty bitty bit more) like the cast, the costumes, the set, Liam freaking O’Brien. The second half of the episode truly was crazy, like the second hand trippyness was crazy. Dr Edgar Lycoris love of my life you funky handprint motherfucker the way Alexander Ward show up want this man to die gets his wish and I’m still fucking shaking regardless of the signposting telling me for sure Edgar was dead. Imari Williams sir sir sir the amount of shit this man pulled that just fucked Liam over was beautiful, I cannot wait to see Imari back at the table eventually because he was truly a delight, Malcolm Trills what a fucking guy just a true protecter until the end. As said before Aimee Carrero is just always so phenomenal at this table always brewing up something so heartbreaking especially with the ties between Opal and Grimoria like just two fresh eyed girls haunted by ghosts of the past just getting their shit rocked and every time I eat it up! Taliesin Jaffe and his stupid traumatized little gay man, dude Leo owes me money cause sir wait to steal all my tear out of my eyes with that letter to Grimoria at the end, like please I can’t it’s so late at night. And of course the infallible Liam O'Brien what a story what a story, so terribly heartbreaking and so terribly on brand for him. His portrayal of all those women in grief were all so beautiful. Cannot wait for the session zero on this!

#critical role #candela obscura #candela obscura spoilers #cr spoilers #the circle of the crimson mirror #candela spoilers

[redrobin-detective]

"come in," she said, "I'll give you shelter from the storm"

Marceline woke to the smell of something amazing cooking.

Her reactions were a little less startled and a little more excited every time she woke up and remembered that Simon was back. She quickly dressed and flew down the stairs and into the kitchen as Simon was finishing whatever it was he was making. His hair was pulled back in one of Marcy's hairbands and was wearing a bright pink sweater gifted from Bonnie over top his usual white collared shirt and black slacks. He looked so different from how she remembered him growing up but he was still her Simon.

"Good morning, or rather good afternoon, sleepyhead," Simon said with a smile as he flipped something in his pan. "Sit down, I'm almost done. I have something I want to talk to you about."

"Is this something the thing you've been talking to my girlfriend in secret about for the past few weeks?" She asked playfully. Simon groaned.

"How could you possibly-"

"I've known Bonnie for hundreds of years, you think I don't know her tells by now," Marcy grinned. "And it barely took me a year to learn all of yours."

"Yes, yes, I shall always be the Watson to your estimable Holmes so here is your reward for another case brilliantly solved," Simon said with a flourish. He placed a completely red grilled cheese sandwich in front of her with a bowl of tomato soup. "Strawberry jam toasted bread with ham, red bell peppers and tomato. The cheese I soaked in the jam too, it's not as red but hopefully it'll taste better than the beet juice cheese I made for you that one time. Bon appétit, mon cher."

"That beet cheese haunts my nightmares," Marcy said, trying to act casual when she wanted to cry with how much love she was feeling. She thought she had lost this forever and having it back, it was a miracle she couldn't put into words. "You don't have to go to this much effort, I can eat anything red. It doesn't even have to be real food."

"I like to cook and I like to cook for you. Sharing a meal together is something you do with your loved ones," he smiled and sat down with his own soup and sandwich. "I have a second chance to enjoy the little things in life and I don’t want to waste it.” He said, biting into his sandwich.

“Yeah,” she smiled back as her fangs sampled the sandwich. Deliciously red and made with love. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Oh uh,” Simon looked flustered and ducked his head closer to the soup. “I hate having serious discussions over a meal. How was your show last night?”

“Fine,” Marcy said with a suspicious frown. Simon was being cagey but she’d get it out of him eventually. “It was just a small gig at Dirt Beer Guy’s new place. It would have been better with my partner there. You can’t spend all your time inside reading those dusty old books, you know.”

“I’m not your partner, Marcy, I’m your-” Simon paused and turned away with embarrassment scratching at the back of his neck. She found herself wishing he’d just say what they both felt but he trailed off as usual. “Music is just a hobby for me, I’m not nearly the professional you are. Besides I’m not really suited to the kind of music you play, trying to keep up with you would just diminish your natural talent.” 

“Dude, you’re like the best pianist I’ve ever heard and you know all those old world songs,” Marcy argued as she slurped up the remaining red in her soup with annoyance. “And you’re no slouch on the guitar or violin or drums or-”

“I don’t play the drums, Ice King did,” Simon interrupted with a flat frown. 

“Yeah, okay whatever,” Marcy grumbled as she floated up and gathered up the now empty plates to clean. “So come on, stop avoiding the issue, what did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t want to have this conversation angry, let’s relax with a little jam session first,” Simon said cheerfully. “It’s been a while since I’ve been on strings, I’ll join you today on guitar. Just like the good old days.” The image of Simon’s large, blue tinged hands on top of hers on the half broken guitar they’d scrounged from the rubble, lightly moving her fingers over the frets. His gentle voice walking her through the notes and the beautiful sounds they’d made to fill the apocalyptic silence. 

Even after a thousand years of insanity, he knew just how to tempt her.

“I’ll grab my guitar while you finish up,” he said before rushing out of the kitchen. She was drying her hands when the sound of a tuning guitar flitted through the house. Marcy had dreamed of a situation like this: her and Simon safe, with no magic or madness or sadness between them, just hanging out. But sometimes a wall could be made of other things too. She grabbed her bass as she floated into the living room where Simon was strumming his acoustic with deep concentration. She sat next to him on the couch and began strumming too, the familiar motions leeching some of her tension. 

They sat in companionable silence for a while, playing their own thing with the separate melodies sometimes coming together and harmonizing. Every now and again she’d recognize something he played, some dim lightbulb of a memory from when she was a child listening to music on the radio. Simon always got a little sad when she reminded him of the world they’d both lost. She’d mourned and moved on but it was harder for him to let go.

"Marcy, I need to move out,” Simon said suddenly, snapping her out of her head. She jerked a discordant chord on her guitar as she dropped it, causing him to wince. “Princess Bubblegum is getting me set up with a little place on the border of the Candy Kingdom," he continued awkwardly.

"Move out?" Marcy yelped, reaching over to grab Simon's hand then quickly releasing when she saw him wince. "Why? You've only been back as yourself for six months! You're- you're not ready yet! You can't live on your own in Ooo, you'll get killed!"

"I got through the apocalypse, remember. I believe you were there," he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Is it the house? Too small? Too dark? We'll move together, somewhere bigger and brighter that has everything you need-"

"The house is fine, Marcy," Simon sighed, "it's not that it's..."

"Is it me?" She asked quietly. Simon set aside his guitar and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. Marcy tried to relax into his touch like she used to but instead dug her hands into his sweater and held on tight.

"No, Sweetie, no, of course not. Believe me, this isn't an easy choice for me either but... Marceline, we always knew this was going to be temporary. You're a beautiful, brilliant, vivacious young woman and you don't need an old dinosaur cramping your lifestyle."

"You're not, I promise. I love having you here. I am so happy I get to see you everyday, to wake up to your cooking and making music together," she said, pulling back to look up at him.

"And I treasure those things too but Marcy, you're not going out with your friends, you're canceling shows and I know you don't feel comfortable bringing your girlfriend around when I'm here. I don't, I guess I'm worried about trapping you."

"You're not, I want you here, I promise. There's always other parties, other gigs and Bonnie, well she's old too, she knows that the most precious things are the ones that-that won't be around forever."

Simon was human again and that meant he was no longer deathless. He'd been in his mid 30s when he first wore the crown, hardly a spring chicken but not old either. That left Marcy about 50 years or so before he was gone and there was no magic on Earth or beyond that could bring him back while she went on and on and on and on and-. She loosened her grip on him before her claws put holes in his sweater, or him.

"Sweet Girl, I know what it's like to cling to something because it’s safe and familiar but we can’t live in the past. I, well, I need to find my own way. You know, learn and adapt like you have and I can't do that living in the backroom in the house of my uh... friend. We’ve had time to reconnect and recover but now it's time for this old bird to fly from the nest."

“You could stay if you wanted,” she said softly, weakly, feeling like the abandoned child she never really stopped being. “You could live here with me the rest of your life and I would love you every minute of every day. If you really want to move out, find your own space, I’ll gladly help. But I want you to know you are always welcome here, in my home and in my life because- because you’re like my dad and nothing will ever change that or how I feel about you.”

They never really spoke the words: dad, daughter, family, even if that's what they were to each other. There was always the risk Hunson would overhear and take it out on Simon. But also 'dad' had come to represent disappointment and anger and fear while 'Simon' fit the meaning much better. Who needed a dad when she had a Simon?

“Oh Marceline,” Simon said softly, resting his cheek against her hair. “I don’t deserve your love after what I put you through.” 

“Like you said, we can’t live in the past,” she mumbled, squeezing him as tight as she dared. Time moved so quickly for her, how many more times would she get to hug him before he was gone? They stayed like for a while before he pulled back and wiped his misty eyes underneath his glasses.

"Princess Bubblegum said the place should be finished soon. It's not very far and, you, likewise, are welcome to visit anytime. I've even asked the Princess to set aside an extra bedroom for you and Finn if ever you need somewhere to stay." Simon said, breaking eye contact to grab his guitar and lightly finger the strings. 

"Do Finn and Jake know about this?" Marcy teased. It's been an endless source of amusement watching Simon latch onto Finn like a mother hen and for it all to fly over the boy's head. Simon cooks for them, teaches Finn when he can pin the boy down between adventures and positively dotes on him and her unofficial little brother still didn't get it.

"Jake thinks it's a great idea," Simon sniffed. "Finn is almost 18 and full of reckless, teenage energy, not to mention a whole load of unaddressed trauma. Jake's getting older, he can use all the help he can get managing Finn."

"Word to that," She laughed. The heavy emotional pall lifting, she picked up her bass again and played the same simple melody as Simon. "Was that all you wanted to talk about? The house?"

"No," Simon looked uncomfortable. "I've put it off too long really but with the house set to be up soon, I do need to collect the rest of my belongings from the uh..."

"Oh yeah, you had that whole secret room in the Ice Kingdom, all those books and artifacts and stuff," Marcy noted.

"The last remnants I have of Betty are there too," Simon said dully. They don't talk about her much, mostly because the grief and guilt reminded both of them too much of Ice King. He still had his bad days spent alone doing glob knows what in his room. "I have a lot of things I need to get that I’ve been putting off because well…”

“It’s got to be weird,” Marcy said with an understanding smile. “You were Ice King then Gunter is now Ice Thing. I think everyone needed space after what went down. Me and PB can go get your stuff if you want.”

“No, no, it needs to be me. I can’t run away from the past forever,” Simon sighed. “I could use your help with moving as well as sorting through what’s important and what’s just sentimental junk. I collected as many pre-war artifacts as I could before I was consumed by the crown so I’m not even sure what’s all there.”

“Of course, I’m sure Finn would like to be involved too if it’s about human stuff,” Marcy said

“I’ll message him and I’m pretty sure Gunter gave me his new number too,” Simon muttered absently. “The Ice Kingdom still doesn’t have any citizens so hopefully Gunter will be able to accommodate us.”

“But that will probably take some time to coordinate,” Marcy said in a lilting tone, “and you still owe me a jam session. Show me that one song you used to play on guitar all the time, you know, the one that goes like-” she hastily strummed out a few chords. Simon laughed.

“A thousand years after the end of the world and Bob Dyland still endures,” he said, making some minor adjustments to his tuning keys. “Ok, my memory isn’t what it used to be so don’t complain if I get the lyrics or melody mixed up. So it’s a simple song that has a repeat rhythm of D, G, C, G. Got it? Ok and a one and two and a three-”

The house was soon filled with music and laughter and lots of love.

#adventure time #simon petrikov #marceline abadeer #finally finished #this is gonna be part 1 of 3 or 4 part series #exploring simons relationship with his kids through music #song title is shelter from the storm by bob dylan #love simon and marcy but look at all the regrets and abandonment issues and avoidance tactics they have stuffed into a trenchcoat #they're both overly clingy and distant at the same time I love it #both clinging to a past that doesn't really exist anymore and trying to cope with this new reality #they make me insane

[softsadsassysweet]

Oh no not another Spike and Faye analysis.

I drove myself insane for months trying to figure out Spike’s ridiculously cryptic speech about his eyes to Faye in RFB. Why the hell of all things was this the thing he needed to so desperately tell her? My partner who loves the show and who is less emotionally involved than me completely deciphered it in a matter of seconds.

Essentially what they said:

“Spike isn’t a straight forward person who can admit his feelings. What a better way to indirectly compare these two women than to have one be the present and one be the past. Julia is his left eye, Faye is his right eye. Julia is the dream, and Faye is reality. The dream is over, Faye is who he has now.”

That hit me like a fucking truck when they said that.

I also realized that the only two people that Spike talks to about his eyes in the show, are Julia and Faye. He tells Julia in a voice over flash back during JJ and then Faye in RFB. They’re the only two people he tells about his eyes. BOOM, symbolism.

The next thing I banged my head against a wall over was his two speeches about the woman he loves to Jet and Electra.

Jet: When you and I first met, you told me something. You told me that you had died once, that you had seen death. Why can’t you just let it go? Forget the past.

Spike: There was a woman. First time I found someone who was truly alive, or at least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I’d lost somewhere along the way. The part that I was missing, the part I had been longing for…. She’s back.

*********

Spike: When I was younger, I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t have the slightest fear of dying, no reason for it. I thought that if I die that’s fine with me anytime at all, but then I met a certain woman and it changed. I started to think that I wanted to survive. For the first time the fear of death began to scare me. It was on my mind. I never felt that kind of feeling almost, paralyzed.

Electra: And? Where is she now?

Spike: She… faded off somewhere. Strange you’re the first person I said this to.

Spike never says Julia’s name and it fucking haunts me. He says “I met a certain woman” or “There was a woman”. It felt on purpose that he’s being vague. Why not just say her name? Come on dude you spent a two parter episode arc looking for her. You were very open about what she means to you. Jet of all people knows who you’re talking about!! Why don’t yah just, SAY THAT IT WAS JULIA????

It’s because it wouldn’t be the whole truth.

I’ve read some very convincing essays about how these speeches are about Faye, but that doesn’t feel quite right either.

This is where I connected the symbolism of the eyes, to what he has to say about the woman he loves.

If Spikes eyes are showing him patches of reality, then his speeches are mixed parts of the truth of what he’s feeling. He feels for both women. They both affect him deeply in this way. They are both a part of him. Just like his eyeballs.

Another hang up I had, was how the descriptions of the woman’s actions and past tense language did seem to fit Julia. Why do the speeches seem to outwardly point to Julia and inwardly point to Faye?

Why throw us off like that?

I believe it’s because he doesn’t have to face reality with Julia. What’s done, is done. It’s the past. If he outwardly admits his affections for Faye then that indicates he’s going to begin to do some thing about it. He’s not there yet. The past is easier to control and therefor easier to talk about. The present and future are the unknowns. (Which is why he is dumb ass kid on the play ground level mean to her and keeps her at a distance. He doesn’t know how to handle Faye.) He’s not quite sure he even has a future. And yet, by being vague he gets the satisfaction of catharsis. He can finally say out loud how he feels about Faye. It’s all so tragically high school.

I’m probably going to revise this essay later, but for now I needed to brain dump it into the world. In the meantime I need a glass of wine and a life.

#faye valentine #spikespiegel #cowboy bebop #see you space cowboy #spike x faye #evenmytherapisttoldmeineedanewhyperfixation

[marley-manson]

inspired by the obnoxious anon haunting majorbaby lol:

In the past I’ve said I could see BJ as either gay or bi, which is technically true, but I don’t actually headcanon him as bi because BJ’s sexuality is only interesting to me if he’s gay. like, imo it’s the only sexual orientation that intersects with his characterization in a meaningful or worthwhile way.

BJ’s character is ‘archetypal poster boy for the 50s,’ and BJ’s story is about being obsessed with his wife as a coping mechanism, because he needs an image of an idyllic future to focus on while he’s in Korea. The cracks in BJ’s veneer begin to show when he reveals resentment over conforming to expectations (Wheelers and Dealers), when he reveals repressed rage which is explicitly tied to his fear of losing/not being good enough for his roles (hence the heavyhanded ‘replacements’ theme in Period of Adjustment), when he reveals insecurity over Peg needing him (several episodes where he freaks out about her being too independent or potentially cheating), and, when it comes to relevant flaws, when he straight up tells someone else he’d have an affair with her if it wasn’t for the fact that he needs his coping mechanism during his stay in a war zone (”I can’t go from hello to I love you because of the damn war!”)

You can argue for different interpretations of several of these moments individually if you want, but together, whether intentionally or not, they add up to a pretty consistent picture of a guy enamoured not with Peg and Erin specifically, but with being a perfect guy with a wife and child he supports.

So if he’s straight then he goes home and either stays married and lives happily ever after, which is both boring and thematically incorrect if we tie all these moments together as a coherent characterization rather than dismissing them as random disparate dramatic episodes a badly written character careens between, or he goes home and his marriage crashes and burns and he becomes serial remarriage guy, as Larry Gelbart has tongue-in-cheekly suggested, which is thematically correct but also boring.

If he’s bi see above. Maybe he explores his sexuality too, maybe he hooks up with Hawkeye, but it doesn’t add anything to his character. He’s attracted to women, he’s theoretically able to live happily ever after with one, he’s got nothing but his issues as a conformer in the 50s standing in his way of happy hetero ever after. He can still achieve his thematically appropriate divorce ending, but his sexuality doesn’t figure in one way or another, it’s incidental.

If he’s gay then it adds something. It enriches his role as 50s family guy poster boy by making it a fundamentally false image that he could never fit into, as well as adding a dimension to why he’s so desperate to cling to that image. It fits in neatly with his repression and resentment of being the great guy everyone likes (Wheelers and Dealers again), and even plays off the implication that he’s been dealing with negative feelings most of his life, which we can assume based on the way he describes his pranks as taking his feelings out on other people, and the fact that he was a hardcore practical joker pre-war too.

It even fits the satirical sensibility of the show when he was first introduced. To take BJ at face value in season 4 as Trapper’s replacement just straight up doesn’t work for me, and if we were meant to take him at face value then it’s a major misstep imo. The show consistently subverted its archetypal 50s characters. Norman Rockwell kid in Love and Marriage turned out to be a sex trafficker, Frank and Margaret are both giant judgmental hypocrites, everyone loves having sex and cheating. The satire was largely focused on the military, but it utilized the fact that it’s a period piece to make fun of the idealized, propagandic 50s image a lot. If BJ, who’s practically a 50s car ad come to life, was meant to be a straightforward picture-perfect dude thrown into a tragic situation, then the show really dropped the satirical ball by implying that an archetype like BJ genuinely is rightfully aspirational.

Which, yk, it very well might’ve, but if so then I’m gonna add some context in my own headcanons that makes his character fit the satire better, in addition to being more interesting, fun, and thematically appropriate.

#marley on mash #bj mash #~as a bi~ sometimes characters who are gay... are better #i didn't mention peg/bj/hawk bc idc to contemplate it but my brief thought is it could work if it's bj working thru his preconceived #notions about traditional family structures slowly and painfully but if it's basically bj having his cake and eating it too then it doesn't #mash #mash gs

[murphy-kitt]

hourglass of lies - Day 2/3 Dannymay

Time is running out.

Danny can’t help the dread in his stomach that grows deeper as the end of high school draws near. The fact that he might not even graduate with how awful his grades are barely even scratches the surface.

It’s college.

Away from Amity, his haunt. Who’ll protect the city from ghost invasions if he’s not there? His parents, as much as he loves them, are better at creating the weapons than actually using them. Valerie? Too trigger friendly with a gun. One wrong shot and it’s over.

Away from everyone he knows, loves. Who he was once close to before the portal accident shattered everything.

Once college begins, he’ll most likely never see them again. Why would Sam and Tucker want to remain in contact when he’s done nothing but given them hapless excuses in the past three years?

“Well…this is it.” He takes a deep breath, hovering awkwardly outside the classroom which Sam and Tucker normally inhabit every lunchtime. Even though the corridors are vacant of prying eyes, Danny still feels embarrassment rise in his stomach.

Come on, Fenton. You can do it.

“I can totally do this.” Danny chants in some attempt at reassurance, grasping the door handle, “I can totally tell my friends my biggest secret that I’ve never told anyone else.”

Because that’s the only option he really has — if he wants to save this friendship.

With another resigned breath, he tugs at the door, winging it wide open. On the other side, Sam and Tucker whip around, faces cast with shock before they drop in awkward grimaces.

“Mind if I join you?” He trails off awkwardly, arms hugging his chest at Sam’s disapproving expression.

He can’t blame her. Three years of silence and now he wants to talk.

“Yes.” she says, voice like ice.

Tucker shifts uncomfortably beside him as Danny sits down across from the two and fumbles with his hands awkwardly.

"I'm--"

"Sorry? Danny, just--don’t. You've apologised enough over the years. But you never told us why." Sam sighs, placing her arms on her lap.

His former friends' expressions read enough. They’re fed up.

So am I.

“And then you started drifting…and we didn’t know why. Was it us? Are you in something bad?” questions Tucker, although his expression reads as if he’s not expecting an actual answer. Another bunch of lies.

“No! No!” Danny shakes his head, “It was never you guys. Always me.”

“If it’s not us, then what is it?”

Sam pushes, gaze hardening.

Danny flinches beneath the scrutiny. All the boundaries he's built over the years, they'll all be gone. The first people to know who he truly is.

"Depending how you look at it...I did get into something bad. When we were fourteen." He stutters, choosing to look at the table instead of their wary gazes.

"What-what do you mean?" responds Sam, a sliver of concern seeping into her tone. Her eyes narrow, "Something bad? What was it?"

"Remember when my parents built the--they built the ghost portal?"

"What?! Dude, you're terrified of the things!" outbursts Tucker, confusion scrawling on his face as he intertwines his fingers, "I--I don't get how those two relate."

Of course. They’ve both fallen for the pitiful facade of him being scared of ghosts. Ironic, in a way.

Silence fills the tension as Danny wonders how to even explain. How does he even begin to explain that he’s moonlighting as the town's ghostly hero? And, yknow, died.

“It’s gonna be over soon… high school. Everyone’s going away.” The teenager mumbles, ignoring the clearly confused looks on his former friend's faces.

“Is this what it’s always been about…the future?” Sam considers, tilting her head.

He only shrugs.

“Well once college starts…I just hope Amity can stay safe.”

“We’ll have Phantom, though.” remarks Tucker, pushing his glasses up his face.

I wish. If only I could stay.

“Phantom...” Danny drifts off, deep in a haze of thought, “I wonder what’ll happen if I stay from Amity for too long.”

His core feels heavy in his chest, like it already knows the answer. But he can’t just stay cooped up here forever, no matter how much the ghost side might want too. Ectoplasm zaps through his veins at the slightest indication of his obsession.

“Danny?” Sam hesitates, her voice funny.

He snaps out of the trance.

Oh, right.

“Yeah?” He stares at his friends, unable to miss the way their faces blanch with what…horror? Quickly, Danny checks his hands, making sure he hasn’t accidentally transformed.

Still the same pallid, cold human skin.

Then what is it?

“What’s the weird stare for?” He licks his lips, feeling strangely vulnerable under their suspicious looks. Three years ago, it never would’ve been like this.

Suddenly, Sam’s hands clamp to his shoulders, tugging him forward as he suppresses a yelp.

Terror jolts inside him. They’ve figured it out haven’t they? Even without the transformation after all this time, they’ve figured it out. Or maybe they knew the whole time and never got the chance to say.

Either way, what’ll follow won’t be pretty.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you—“

“Get out of our friend!—“ Sam cuts him off furiously, her voice fiery as she rattled his skinny frame, “You say you’re a good ghost— and this whole time you’ve been overshadowing Danny. Three. Whole. Years! No wonder he’s never been himself.”

“Get out of him—” grits Tucker, in the angriest tone he’s ever heard as he displays his PDA, “—or I won’t be afraid to ship you off to the Fenton’s.”

Some sort of weird pride bubbles in Danny’s chest. Even after all this..mess..they’re still willing to stand up for him, to fight for him.

It’d be great…if they weren’t currently thinking he was overshadowed by himself.

I do wonder what made them suddenly snap, though?

“You don’t get it!” He stammers, trying to wrestle out of Sam’s iron like grip as she glares at him. The goth doesn’t say anything, just simply stares at her. Revolt scarred upon her face, such a deep hatred buried in her eyes.

He imagines it upon her face when she finds out the truth. Who he really is.

“What – we don’t get how you’ve been using our friend as a human meat puppet for the last three years?!” snaps Tucker as he frowns and point towards his eyes, “We’ve caught you. You thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? But no. Danny’s eyes are blue. Not green. ”

“You really have to wonder how the Fentons missed it. Ghost hunters. Their own son, controlled by—“ Sam speaks, addressing Tucker before staring icily back at Danny, “—a parasite.”

“Trust me, I wonder that too.” He quips automatically, unable to stop the words flowing back. If Danny was able to, he’d facepalm.

Seconds pass, the grip on his shoulders tighten. Tucker begins typing a combination of numbers on his PDA — a familiar number. The Fenton’s.

“No!”

“What? Desperate now that you’ve been caught, Phantom?” Sam spits.

Danny shakes his head. Anxiety piles on his chest as the secrets prepare to uncoil. There’s no choice — this is it.

Three years.

“I’m Phantom!” He blurts, ignoring the ‘ duh ’ expressions from the other teens, “I’m Danny, too! I’m the same! Danny Fenton — Danny Phantom. Don’t you see?”

From the way Sam releases his shoulders on how Tucker gapes like a goldfish, Danny doubts they’ve ever seen the similarities between the two names. Or rather, they’re more shocked at the confession. Or both.

Silence overcasts the room, Sam full of tension, as if she expects something ghostly to happen at any given point. Tucker simply remains subdued, his eyes misty.

Finally, he speaks.

“You’re—you’re dead.”

“Uh…” Danny hesitates, hand coming to rest at the nape of his neck. Lies upon lies torrent in his mind, a familiar routine to barricade himself away from prying eyes.

“The truth.” Sam’s eyes narrow as Tucker subsequently nods.

Sighing, Danny only nods in response, bracing as the halo of light appears around his waist. There’s an instinct to run and hide, after all, he’s never transformed in front of anyone before.

“I’m sorry that I never told you. But I had to – before I lost you guys forever in college.” He swallows nervously, not oblivious to the shocked gasps as the rings wash up the rest of his body.

“The—you.” Tucker rambles, before quieting, “You died.”

He winces, “Yup. Noted, thanks.”

“God, Danny.” Sam reached forward and places a hesitant on his shoulder, as if he’s not real, “When? What? How?”

”When I was fourteen. Electrocution.” he states, but doesn’t clarify. Thankfully, Sam and Tucker don’t ask him to elaborate— a relieving contrast to the amount of citizens who demand to know how he died.

“The whole time we pushed and pushed you to tell us, it was because you’d fucking died. Why’d—why’d you let us Danny? Why? You shouldve said something. We could've helped.” hiccups Sam, her eyes misty with guilt.

She regrets snapping at me. But Danny can’t blame her for past actions. He’d never told them and deliberately avoided them time and time again. A ticking time bomb before it finally ended and both his best friends ended up sitting in a separate classroom to eat lunch.

“Well…I’ve told you now. No going back on that.” He shakes his head, a small smile his face despite their upset ones, “And I’m glad I did. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know — and I was too scared to say anything.”

”But the whole…dead thing.” Tucker lisps, apparently having not processed it yet, “Your parents— they hunt you! Dude you died and didn’t say anything.”

”Well technically I’m only half dead.” shrugs Danny, as if it’s the most casual thing on the planet. Another set of shocked looks from Sam and Tucker follow.

”Half? How only half?” exclaims Tucker, “Dude! I mean it’s better then being fully dead…but still.”

”And he’s right.” inputs Sam, “Your parents hunt you, Danny.”

”Well see, that’s what I was going to do next.” Danny hesitates, looking down at his feet. Telling his parents will be another hurdle, but this time he’ll have his friends with him.

”But I don’t think I can do it by myself.”

”We’ll be there.” affirms Sam, a smile on her face, “So much has happened already, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start again.”

”We’ll be there.” smiles Tucker, “And if they do reject you, then you know we’ll be having none of it.”

Smiling, Danny chuckles.

”Thanks guys. I don’t know how I did it without you.”

A tiny nagging echoes in his head. What couldve happened if he’d told them, way back when? How would things have been different?

But he shouldn't dwell on what could've been, on decision that’ve already been made in the past.

Because now there’s a new future to look forward to — with both best friends by his side.

#danny phantom #dannymay 2022 #dannymay2022 #sam manson #tucker foley #no one knows au #college days #identity reveal

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Biweekly Media Roundup

- The Adam Project (Movie) - This sure was a movie huh. It wasn’t so bad that I feel like writing a dissertation on it but boy it wasn’t any good either. Everyone in the movie just spoke in that Ryan Reynolds quip humor which I have liked in the past but here it was way too much and not particularly clever or funny, and really got in the way of any sort of emotional depth or realism the story was trying to convey-Everything just felt forced and unnatural. The story also didn’t make much sense, I like time travel stories as a whole, but the characters were time traveling to prevent time travel from being invented which?? Maybe you’ll stop it from being invented at that specific time but if it's a possible phenomenon then someone will invent it at some point dude, I don’t think this is solving anything. They also pull the “I can’t tell someone that they're going to die cause that might change the future” despite the fact that everything they are doing is actively and intentionally changing the future. I think the only thing I was impressed by was the protagonists house which was this incredibly nice open-air Cabin in the wood, wish I lived there. Anyway, don’t watch this, you can find better things to do.

- Buddy Daddies (Anime) - The only non-sequel anime I decided to watch this season, I am having fun with Spy X Family Gay Dads addition. I can’t say it’s doing anything unexpected but if you like this kind of thing it’s competent enough, and I do really like the perpetually tired half-shaved updo character design of the darker haired father. The ending theme is quite cute and the comedy is solid so far, my main hopes going forward are that the child character is allowed to have some depth outside of “cute toddler” and that we get more backstory/interactions between the male leads and what their deal is. Good wholesome show for now.

- The Vampire Dies In No Time (Anime) - Hey it’s back. I’m actually surprised it got a sequel season as I didn’t think the first one did that well but hey, I’m happy it’s here. The comedy can be hit or miss and even actively cringey sometimes so it’s hard to recommend, but I really enjoy these characters and their unconventional family. There’s just no other series I can go to where a guy comes over to his arch-nemeses house to show his roommate a PowerPoint Presentation he made of why that guy’s the worst. It’s stupid in the best way possible. Can’t wait to see more of Best Boy John as well. 

- JJBA: Stone Ocean (Anime) - People turned into Snails last time, that was fun.

- The Greatest Estate Developer (Webcomic) - I’m so tempted to just read the webnovel for this, as I do plan to eventually, but I told myself I would finish ORV first so it might be awhile. It’s just the perfect comfort food though, I love the asshole best friend's dynamic of the leads and the continuous betterment of society Lloyd brings to the World. We’ll see if this will motivate me to finally finish ORV or if I’ll just cave first. 

- Demon Slayer (Anime) - Don’t have much to say, rewatching this with my sister, it’s cute with good animation and nice characters, I enjoy it a reasonable amount. 

- The S Classes That I Raised (Webcomic) - Successfully got my sister into this now which I consider a win. 

- Sense8 (TV) - Yup.

- Persona 5 Royal (Video Game) - Okay so here’s what I’ve actually been doing all week, this game has consumed my life. I’ll save most of my thoughts until I’m closer to the conclusion but for now I really adore the visuals and stylistic flair of the game as well as the character interactions-I appreciate that the Phantom Thieves actually hang out and feel like friends, it’s surprisingly common for media to just have the cast say they’re close without ever actually showing them spending time together so I’m grateful. The music's also solid, though 50 hours in it’s starting to haunt my daily hours as well. I’m going to make this my whole personality in February, watch me. 

I also watched the first episode of The Last of Us, though I’ll hold off on judgement for now. Demon School has also gotten better so I’m keeping up with that too.

Listening to: Persona 5 OST, Troublemaker by Olly Murs, As It Was by Harry Styles, Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift, Tangled Up by Caro Emerald, Hell’s Comin’ with Me by Poor Mans Poison, Kaibutsu - AmaLee cover, The Fine Print by The Stupendium, Do It All The Time, Waste by Oh Wonder, Stay by Reinaeiry, Black Magic by Little Mix, Kiss Me Son Of God by They Might Be Giants

#weekly roundup #My posts

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

Hi, I was wondering if I could get classpected? I really love your analysis and I’m struggling with my own.

*I most often get heart, space, and void as quiz results (I have taken most existing aspect quizzes at least twice). I usually get mage, knight, and page on quizzes.

**this is essay length I’m really sorry about that

Hobbies/interests:

I really like my creative hobbies. More often than not I'm sewing, sculpting, drawing, etc. I also really enjoy those really long video essays on video games and such but I also listen to more political stuff when I can handle it. When my anxiety is less obnoxious I like to take walks in the middle of the night- I can go outside and be completely alone with my thoughts (and my maladaptive daydreaming lol). I do a lot of writing about fiction and only actually write fiction sometimes. Ideas are always more complete in my head and I can’t do them justice in meatspace. I do a lot of armchair philosophy but it’s all probably just something I regurgitate forgetting somebody else said it first and better. You will literally never see me without my earbuds in regardless if anything is playing in them. On that note I can’t play an instrument or compose or anything but I want music to swallow me whole like a snake.

Me about myself:

I think I’m weird but I don’t particularly care that I’m weird. I hate that other people think I'm weird and guilt me for having genuine interests? My self esteem isn’t great but as I’m getting better at being an adult I feel less like a fish flopping around on the floor. I feel like I’m never going to have a proper self concept because something is always changing and I can’t keep up with that. The self hatred is mental subtext instead of text, ya feel? I want to say something in a way only I can say it, like perfect a message in a way only my art could portray it. It would be a cool thing to have a legacy even though it’s totally meaningless. Like, if somebody thought about me the way I think about Toby Fox I’d feel like I succeeded. Local strider kinnie. All of the striders. Every iteration. In middle school I was obsessed with Dave and now (college) I'm obsessed with Dirk. It’s The Existentialism. Spice that with a little Jake English style social awkwardness. My problematic trait is thinking empathy is a conspiracy (I’m ((probably)) just on the spectrum). I have serious self-control issues and will eat a whole cake by myself. I reread homestuck in less than a month and barely managed to get my assignments in because I hyper fixated so hard.

Others about me:

When I was younger I was the scapegoat of my friend group, like the Tavros to someone else’s Vriska. Classic page behavior. Now that I’m older I’m mostly just super reserved because I got burned so bad I can’t take positive feedback. I have one friend who tells me that I’m super talented and cool and shit and I feel so weird about it. He’s not flirting with me or anything, he's just a genuinely good dude. I feel dirty and evil existing in his presence. I’ve also been described as a cryptid in the past. “Quiet and kind of scary until you open up then you’re unhinged” “Mad scientist” “Introverted artisan” (this person then called me out on “looking for that passing validation” and he was right but I hate it lmao) (the conversation has gone on and I am now realizing he is. Talking about trans shit,,,, which is also right and I hate it) (I’m literally going to copy paste this next one it’s too good) “You’re the type of dude that gets dragged on for the ride tho… the one that’s like ‘maybe we shouldn’t be breaking into a haunted house’ in the movies” “You’re not the Lame little piss baby that they drag around , you’re the one that’s there cuz someone wants to hand the white boy a blunt and see you take a large chuff” (oh my god he’s such a gem lol) “You’re still also a dork and I’ll probably still label you as gay boy mentally tho”

How I interact with people:

I keep forgetting I can’t just rely on my imaginary friends to meet my social needs so I go bug one or two people for a few weeks before I start feeling like it’s too risky because if I go too hard I'll burn out and hate them or something. If you know someone too well it’ll break any infatuation (platonic) you have with them. The thing with characters is that they learn and grow with you in your mind, like a family member that will only hate you if you’re having an off day. Tldr I’m scared of other people because intimacy and honesty about things is Not My Style. All of my secrets keep spilling out whenever somebody gives me crumbs and then I regret it and like. Soft ghost them? I recently ditched a group of friends and while I feel guilty about it I was in a kind of codependent relationship with one of them and I needed out. I tried to force myself to be more open and loving and shit but I was totally repulsed by myself and them by the end of it. Anyway if I could just like, have a good friend and feel comfortable with them and Mean It that would be pretty sweet. Unsure if I’m aromantic or just scared of vulnerability and commitment of any kind. I want to be helpful and cool and reciprocal to the people I care about but I feel like I’m lacking in anything I could use to help them- they always need something I can’t give them. When I help it starts coming off as patronizing.

What do i value:

My inner world is what’s keeping me alive. See in there I'm not really obligated to bend to expectations (which are usually pretty reasonable I think, I just don’t like them) and I can live out the fantasy of Being Loved without needing to be vulnerable. They’re in my head of course they know me I don’t need to tell them anything. Politics are important but I mostly listen to other people talk about it. I'm really burnt out with the state of the world. I think finding some kind of reason to live and love in the meaninglessness of it all is really really important, I'm just bad at it. I just kinda wanna live in the abstract and undefinable because everything is like that, but people have to put things into categories and words to understand them. Having a body to take care of and whatnot is a curse. I honestly forget I have one because i’m so zoned into whatever it is that I'm thinking about.

Ideal self:

In an ideal world I get over all of my pseudo intellectual bs and just like. Feel my feelings. Enjoy being with people and making little trinkets. I might actually be less aware of what other people think of me and I could just say things without feeling like every bit of it was silly or pointless. I would be able to accept positive feedback instead of thinking everybody was lying to me. I’d also understand on a fundamental level that other people are real, actual, intelligent beings and we just communicate very differently. If I could be comfortable in my place in the world and not panic because it doesn’t matter I’d celebrate that instead. Nothing matters but with sunglasses this time. In theory every little thing means something, but sometimes I don’t need to know what it means, Y’know? Knowing just puts more weight on my shoulders and makes me an anxious goddamn wreck. I would be able to take action without other people nagging me to do something with myself.

Bonus stuff that I think is relevant:

I’m scared shitless of most “voidy” stuff, like the dark and just like, the concept of oblivion. My worst fear is my mind completely slipping off into nothing. Caves, oceans, etc- they all scare me. I considered space for a long time because of my creativity but I literally have sensory processing disorder and while I think a space player who lacks spatial awareness is funny I don't think that’s all that viable. I think I have a lot of knight hallmarks but really I'm way too outwardly cowardly and self serving to think I deserve that title? Idk im just spitballing now i'm so sorry for ranting.

Thanks for reading my doomer bs - 🏳️‍⚧️🎃♊️

Hello! No need to apologize for the length, the more you tell me the more accurate I'll (hopefully) be :)

Aspects: Mind, Heart, Doom

Classes: Prince, Knight, Page, Mage

Out of these I think either Prince of Mind or Knight of Heart suits you best! But Page of Doom and Mage of Mind might be ones to consider too

I hope this was helpful! And I hope you're doing well :)

#homestuck #classpect #classpecting #asks #requests #prince of mind #knight of heart #prince #knight #mind #heart #anon

[sethcages]

Hello! I can’t believe I’m writing another letter. Hopefully this will be the last. Haha. Coz I can’t keep adding shit to this blog every attempt and then end up not being successful. Lol. Like, bitch can’t do anything right in life and even in DEATH. FOR FUCKING SHAME. 😆

My name is Seth. I was born Suzette Antonio Soyangco. I stopped using that name ever since my mom committed suicide. I refuse to be called by my dead name so I hope you respect that.

I know that you’re all fucking tired of seeing the same scenario where I would attempt to kill myself and then I’d end up surviving that shit. If there’s a god, please I beg you. Do me a favor and end my suffering already. You know that I’m not strong enough to live. Take me away from this ugly vessel. I hated it ever since. It’s fat, heavy, full of flaws and there’s so many complications. I mean, why the fuck would you give me a faulty vessel? You could’ve made me hot and popular. Lol.

Anyway, this letter is not meant to be sad. I wanted everyone to laugh at my jokes even after kicking the bucket. Hehe.

Dad, I know you noticed. I know that you knew something’s off. Kinda wished you cared a bit more. But I swear, I know you loved me. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me. (Lol sorry had to throw a little Taylor Swift action in there hehehehehe) I will always love you. I’ll kiss mama for you. I’ll make sure to find that bitch coz she’s one of the main reasons why I’m following her footsteps HAHAHAHAHAHA

Chico; bitch i love you. You were my best friend, my brother, my twin from another uterus, the Sully to my Mike Wazowski, the redbull to my jager bomb. Never stop playing the drums! Never stop writing songs! Treat yourself a little bit more kinder. You are amazing. You’re a very handsome man.

Mimi; You’re the sister I wish I had. I love you with every fiber of my being. you’re such an amazing person and you’re going to be so successful and please please please keep singing. Continue to bring light in people’s hearts.

Joe; my maaaan. You brought my dreams to life dude. You made me see my true potential. And i love you for that! I’m sorry I won’t be alive to see you buy that building you always wanted. Don’t worry tho, I promise to haunt the hallways whenever you’re in the building. If you hear someone singing the hook to Psycho at 3am in one of your hallways, that’s me. Hahahahaha.

Mia; I’m sorry I was a bad friend. Tell Knives and Audrey I’m sorry. I was supposed to watch over the three of you. I can’t keep myself alive to do that. But I promise I’ll take care of you in the afterlife. If there’s any.

Andrea, Miko, Joshy and Pee; four of my fucking bitches in CNX!!! I love you guys. Thanks for making my corporate ass kissing life a little less fucky. You were the greatest office buddies I have ever had!

To my past lovers who I loved dearly before;

Kent, Wilson, Daniel, Kyle Adrian, Manfred, Carlos Oyo, Marck Steven, Carlo, Joshua Caleb, Richard Jim Matthew (fucking long ass name haha), and my almost forever, Anthony. Thank you for teaching me what love, pain and struggles are. You were my temporary happiness. I loved you all. Specially you, Aga.

To Clarence and Niño, oo sinadya ko na hindi isama yung name nyo dun kasi putangina nyo. I hope you get the same fucking depression that I had. Fuck you to hell and back. I hope you both die a horrible death. Suck my devil dick and choke.

This last part will be for the most important person, the only person I genuinely care about.

My beautiful daughter, SOFIA ELIST.

Words cannot describe how much I love you. You’re the only reason I stayed this long, baby. I’m sorry I won’t get to see you grow up. But hey, don’t be sad. Your life will be sooo much better without me coz I’m a horrible mom. Haha. I swear you’re gonna thank me for dying early coz idk what I would do to your first boyfriend (or girlfriend. Whatever your preference is in the future). I’d terrorize the shit out of that person to make sure they have good intentions towards you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t wanna be a burden to you anymore. Be safe anak. Mahal na mahal ka ni mommy. Maiintindihan mo din ako soon. I love you and I’ll always will. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I loved your paper dolls and drawings. I love how you sing and dance! You are so beautiful. More beautiful than I am. Chase your dream and never stop believing in yourself. I love you.

My name is Seth. I’m a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend and a lover. I don’t know exactly know myself. I have no idea who the real me is. I never had a real personality. I mirror every body I meet. I am not unique. I’m basically a small piece of everybody built in one human. I wanted to be a singer. A world renowned singer. But it didn’t happen. Coz God knows I’ll kill myself sooner when the hate gets to me. He brought me into this world to create a beautiful human named Sofia. When she came, that how I knew that my job here on earth is done. I loved pancakes, cooking, and I have a sweet tooth. My favorite color is turquoise and every similar color in that spectrum. I loved tattoos and piercings. I was here, I tried to save myself, I failed, and now I’m gone.

I leave you something to remember by, DO NO HARM but TAKE NO SHIT.

I don’t remember who or where I got that from but ain’t nobody who’s about to kill themselves got time to research that.

Don’t forget to live the DILLIGAF life. Everybody always has some shit to say so fuck it. You do you. I love you all. Be kind to each other. 🖤😘🥰

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #4

Satan: So I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

“Ah, my fart cone.”

So anyway

•

Simeon: Today these two boys in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher said “could you try to be a little more mature?”

One of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face

•

Leviathan: Sex is so weird it’s literally just putting your penis inside someone else’s penis. Like what the fuck

Asmodeus: I don’t think that’s how it works

Leviathan: Yes it is. I’ve had so much sex. A lot. Like 100 sex.

•

Mammon: What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe

Mammon: Mitosis

Leviathan: I want to die

•

Mammon: How long does someone have to be dead before it’s considered archeology instead of grave robbing

Solomon: An an archeologist I find this a veRY AWKWARD QUESTION

Mammon: Answer the question grave robber

•

Satan: Ah yes, the Trojan horse. Or as I like to call it murderous piñata

•

Asmodeus: Years ago I watched this porn and the girl was screaming ‘oh god, oh god!!!’ And this dude was like ‘there are no gods here’ and to this day it haunts me wtf was he talking about

•

Mammon: At my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal I am not inside. Instead they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the back ground

Mammon: Never mind my brother says I can’t do that

•

MC: I just had the best encounter with a child at Kmart. I was in the aisle shopping and this boy and his dad come around the corner. The little blonde boy sees me and excitedly exclaims “there’s a human here!!” To which his father replied, “Yes, there’s humans everywhere.”

Mammon: Bro you do realize you just met aliens

Solomon: Not unusual for Kmart

•

Mammon: I was looking at grapes in the store and this old lady comes up to me and goes “you’re not stealing those are you?” So I’m like no lol? and she goes “oh, well I am.” And grabbed a handful of grapes and left

Leviathan: GKSKVKSM

•

Diavolo: “What time is it?” You ask, I pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy.”

•

Solomon: This is the dumbest thing to nitpick, but the phrase “real UFO” bothers me any UFO is a real UFO as long as it’s unidentified and flying because that’s what those words mean whether or not it’s an alien is a different matter. It could be a pancake someone threw real hard as long as you don’t know that’s what it is it’s a UFO

Satan: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Anything is a UFO if you’re bad enough at identified stuff

•

MC: People with uteri are never gonna have a perfectly flat stomach. They’re always gonna have a little pouch, because that’s where we keep our bees.

Thirteen: Once a month the moon angers the bees.

•

Lucifer: Gave my students a pop quiz today and learned something new: if you make all the answers C, you will see 35 of the most hilariously panicked and confused faces in the world.

Raphael: Are you Satan?

•

Leviathan: Was it really necessary for me to be born?

Simeon: Possibly not, but double chocolate chip cookies aren’t necessarily either but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them

Leviathan: That is the most uplifting thing I’ve read all day

•

Belphegor: What if your phobias are based off how you died in a past life

Mammon: Why is this not getting around faster

Beelzebub: DUDE

•

Leviathan: It’s 2021 why can’t I delete friends in real life?

Leviathan: Ok so it turns out what I was thinking of it called murder

•

Satan: Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you ‘what really happened’, present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth

Conspiracy theorist: “The moon landing was faked!”

Me: “Pfft, you believe in the moon?”

•

MC: Boys are so lucky they get boners to tell them that they’re horny because girls are just like am I horny or am I hungry or am I bored I don’t know I don’t have a dick

Mammon: That’s definitely an interesting take. But sometimes we get boners for no reason and it’s something like “What is it boy? Did you see something?”

•

Solomon: I just attended the best Passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “you get out of it this time Jesus”

Mammon: Omfg

Leviathan: I CAN’T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING NOBODY LOOK AT ME

Satan: #IT’S BACK

#obey me shall we date #funny obey me #obey me as tumblr #obey me lucifer #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me simeon #obey me leviathan #obey me solomon #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me raphael #obey me thirteen

[mercurygguk]

cockblocked. (m) | jjk

➵ summary; in which a pair of best friends are hopelessly in love with one another but they’re both too dumb to realize, even when everyone around them are dropping hints every five minutes. or alternatively; “you’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back.”

pairing; jeongguk x f. reader

word count; 15.8k

rating; 18+

content; roommates au + friends (idiots) to lovers, smut/fluff/angst

warnings; mentions of alcohol, swearing, explicit sexual content, dirty talk, cum eating, oral sex (f. receiving), stupid jeongguk and stupid reader

a/n; i’ve been wanting to write a oneshot for so long with the ultimate boyfriend version of gguk, so i started writing with this gguk in mind. i hope you like it! ALSO, this is heavily unedited, so ignore any typos thx – enjoy!

find drabbles related to this fanfic through this tag !! 

Music is blaring through the speakers, shaking your body as you stand against the wall, watching people get shitfaced and stick their tongues down each other’s throats. There’s an untouched drink in your hand. It’s lukewarm by now and definitely tasting way worse than when it was made. You hate yourself for always saying yes to joining your friends at this type of scene. Quite simply, you hate every single thing about parties at frat houses. The music is shit, it’s nothing compared to your own favorite chill playlist filled with ballads and old classics. The alcohol smells and tastes like crap, and it doesn’t get you nearly as drunk as it should. To top it all off, your friends had left you alone for two random guys, so in conclusion, this night could’ve been better but it could’ve been much worse as well you suppose. It’s not like you’ve done anything stupid, so really, what’s the problem?

It’s not even that late when you decide to make your way upstairs. There must be a quieter place in this huge house where you can sit in silence until you deem it acceptable to leave again. But as you push your way past couples practically having sex on the staircase, you realize that all rooms are most likely taken. Maybe you should just leave now? You chuckle at your own situation. You haven’t even been here for two hours and you’re already planning on going home again. You shake your head to yourself as you continue your walk upstairs. It won’t hurt to see if you just happen to be lucky enough to find an empty room in this gigantic house.

The first room you come across seems quiet as you press your ear against the door’s surface. You take the chance and grab the handle before pushing yourself inside. You stop in your tracks when one of the two in there turns to look at you, the other one sitting with their head down a bucket. You grimace as you back out of the room, closing the door behind you. The smell of puke haunts you as you move on to the next door.

“Last room better be empty,” you whisper to yourself after checking almost every single room upstairs. You push yourself inside without a single warning to those who may be on the other side of the door. The scene in front of you doesn’t surprise you at all as you stay in the doorway. The pair stops their actions upon your presence.

“I swear that’s the seventh person to barge in here!” The girl, who was being grinded on by the dude on top of her, whines. The guy turns his head to look at you, a glare evident even though it’s mostly dark in the room. “And suddenly I’m not in the mood anymore,” the girl groans as she pushes Mr. Fuckboy off her, “see you around, Jeon.”

You watch with an amused smirk as the girl yanks her shirt off the ground, slipping it on and pushing past you out of the room, her shoulder bumping against yours. You chuckle to yourself, wondering why some girls just had to be like that. The guy you now know as ‘Jeon’ gets up from the bed, turning to face you fully. He’s not wearing a shirt which allows you to see the sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. His pants are unzipped and his belt is unbuckled, and yet he doesn’t seem fazed at all. You cock a brow at him as he finally notices and reaches down to zip his pants and buckle his belt.

“Thanks for cockblocking me by the way,” ‘Jeon’ shoots at you, making you scoff and cross your arms over your chest.

“Well, it’s not entirely my fault,” you defend yourself, gesturing to the door beside you, “you could’ve just locked the door.”

He chuckles at your defensive tone as he grabs his sweatshirt off the floor. He slips it over his head, messing his black, curly hair up even more than it was before. That girl must’ve had a good grip on it for it to look like such a mess in this very moment.

“Why are you even in here?” Jeon asks, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. It tames it a bit, you think to yourself as you watch it fall back onto his forehead and slightly into his eyes. Not bothering to answer his question, you decide on stepping further into the room, making your way to the balcony that happened to be in this exact room. Jeon watches you as you open the doors and head outside into the chilly night air. He follows behind, joining you on the balcony. Why he does so wonders the both of you. He leans on the railing beside you, looking at the side of your face. “Party not fun enough?”

You chuckle. “Just not my typical scene,” you tell him, glancing at him.

The stranger, who goes by ‘Jeon’ so far, is still looking at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What is your typical scene then?”

This dude’s sudden interest in you doesn’t go unnoticed by you, so you decide to finally look at him fully instead of the drunk people on the front lawn below you.

“Somewhere quieter, somewhere you’re actually able to talk to people,” you explain to him, “and if there’s food, even better!”

This makes him laugh lightly, a glint in his eyes that makes your stomach tingle in a funny way. “A foodie then?”

You nod, a wide smile on your face. “Huge foodie.”

“What’s your name?” He asks, seeming genuinely interested in knowing it. “I’m Jeongguk.”

“___,” you tell him, “it’s nice to meet you, Jeongguk.”

He grins, a bunny smile appearing and you can’t help but think about how ridiculously cute he actually is. And yet still a fuckboy, without a doubt.

“Nice to meet you too, ___.”

You both watch the drunk people below in silence. You wonder what he’s thinking about. Does he think the same about these people as you or is he usually one of them? Maybe he’s one of those people who attends every single frat party. But he doesn’t seem to be very drunk at the moment. You’re about to ask him when he turns to look at you, eyes slightly wide with a glint in them as if he just thought of something brilliant.

“Wanna go somewhere else?” He suddenly asks. You squint your eyes at him, wondering what place he possibly could be thinking about. “I know this great place that has really good frozen yoghurt.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh, “you want frozen yoghurt at almost 1 am?”

He nods, a boyish smile on his face. “Yeah, why not? This party sucks aaaand you totally cockblocked me, so I see no reason to stay here anymore.”

Rolling your eyes, you chuckle at his attempt to make you feel guilty once again. “I stand my ground,”  you snicker, “you could’ve just locked the door, dumbass.”

Jeongguk shrugs it off, a tiny smirk appearing on his lips. “So, is that a yes?”

You purse your lips, pretending to think about his question when in reality you had made up your mind the second he mentioned frozen yoghurt. Food is never questioned, you always say yes when your friends ask, and now also when Jeongguk asks. You nod, smiling widely.

“Yeah, frozen yoghurt sounds really good, actually.”

Jeongguk grins, grabs your hand before pulling you back inside and out of the room. A mild tingle erupts in your stomach as you look down at how tightly his hand is gripping yours. You shake the thoughts from your head as you follow behind, letting him guide you downstairs to where the party is still ongoing. He pushes his way through the crowd of people, glancing back at you once in a while to make sure you’re still with him. Were you really just about to leave this party, leave your friends behind to get frozen yoghurt with a complete stranger? Guess so. Were you starting to regret saying yes? Surprisingly, no.

As you ride with the bus to the downtown part of the city, you learn a few things about Jeongguk. He tells you that he’s majoring in photography and that his camera is his most prized possession, he tells you about how he’s a huge gym rat and that he’s basically living his life at the gym when he isn’t studying or running around with his camera. You learn that Jeongguk loves food more than anything and that he’s quite a chef himself (but you also learn that he isn’t one to brag, so you basically had to force it out of him). He also tried to assure you that he wasn’t a fuckboy, which you had claimed him to be when you interrupted him in that bedroom. You only laugh it off, patting him on the shoulder as if to tell him it’s okay, that you don’t judge him for whatever sex life he’s living.

You find yourself enjoying his company more than you had expected to, laughing more than you ever would’ve at the frat party. Even at some point throughout the bus ride, your one leg had somehow managed to rest over his thigh, his hand on it as if it’s the most normal position for the two of you. And there’s not a single moment of awkward silence during the entire trip to that frozen yoghurt place which Jeongguk had been gushing about since you got on the bus.

“Why is this place even open so late?” You ask as Jeongguk holds the door open for you. You walk inside the shop, him following right behind. Before Jeongguk can answer your question, you gasp loudly as you take in the size of the place Jeongguk brought you to. He chuckles from beside you, grabbing your hand once again to pull you to the yoghurt machines. Your mouth is agape in amazement as you grab a cup, starting to mix different flavours. “Jeongguk, there’s too many flavours! How am I supposed to make one without having to pay a shit ton of money?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes scrunching together and pearly white teeth showing. “I guess that means we have to visit again soon?” He says, more like a question than a statement.

You nod excitingly, making him laugh once again.

Jeongguk ends up paying for yours even after you fight him on it, but he didn’t take no for an answer and left you to watch as he paid for both cups of yoghurt, yours ending up more expensive than you had intended.

“Thanks, that was really kind of you,” you softly tell him as he hands you your cup, playfully glaring at him as he does so. “It’s on me next time.”

He shrugs it off, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about it, ___.”

You seat yourselves inside a booth, eating your frozen yoghurt in comfortable silence. Jeongguk finishes it rather quickly causing you to widen your eyes at his empty cup. You’re about to tell him he’ll end up with a brain freeze but the said brain freeze beats you to it. You watch as Jeongguk brings a hand to his forehead, groaning in agony.

“Fuck,” he swears, “wasn’t thinking about this when I shoved that down.”

You laugh, grimacing yourself as he grimaces in pain. After a while, it stops and Jeongguk rubs his forehead with a sigh.

“You good?” You ask as you try to stifle another laugh. He nods, glaring at you and then the empty cup in front of him. Pushing it to the side, you chuckle. “It’s not the yoghurt’s fault, Jeongguk.”

He sighs deeply as he leans back in his seat, watching you as you finish yours. You glance at him occasionally, offering him a small smile once in a while as well. His eyes are captivating in a way, dark brown irises and long lashes. You can’t hold his stare for long without feeling like he’s seeing right through you and reading everything there’s going on inside your head. A tiny crush is starting to develop at the bottom of your stomach, but you try to ignore it, not wanting to go in that direction right now.

“You never told me about yourself,” he then says, catching your attention once again as he leans over the table. You look at him, confused. “It was just me talking about myself on the way here and we never got to talk about you.”

“Oh!” You exclaim, “well, there isn’t much to tell.”

Jeongguk scoffs with a chuckle. “Come on, there has to be something.”

You think for a bit, trying to think about what you can tell him that could possibly be interesting for Jeongguk to hear about. “But what do you wanna know?” You ask him, smiling.

“Mhm,” he hums, “well, first of all, what’s your major?”

“English,” you answer.

He nods at that. “Favorite color?”

“Yellow.”

“Favorite animal?”

Without thinking, you smile and answer: “Bunnies.” 

You swear you see Jeongguk’s cheeks redden as the word leaves your mouth. You smile to yourself, resting your chin in your palm as you watch him, his cheeks flushed. He rubs his chin, searching for another question. 

“Ah! Celebrity crush?”

“Gong Yoo,” you sigh, dreamy gaze with what you’d call a real-life ‘heart eyes’ emoji expression on your face. Across from you, Jeongguk is pretending to gag. You swat at him, giggling lightly. “Shut up! You’re just jealous.”

“Never,” he retorted quickly, making you smirk slightly. “Okay, last question.”

You wait, anticipating something but not sure what exactly.

“Can I have your number?”

There’s nothing to do to stop the blush that colors your cheeks as you nod, smiling at him for being so damn smooth. He hands you his phone with a small smile, you type his phone number in and hand him his phone back. Jeongguk laughs as he notices how you put your name in his phone; ‘cockblocker <3′

“I’m glad we did this,” he suddenly says, his expression a serious but soft one. You nod in agreement.

“Me too,” you tell him, meaning it. This night turned out way better than you had expected, and it was all because you happened to cockblock Jeon Jeongguk.

You run around your dorm room with a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair all over the place as you try to figure out where you left your phone. Your phone is currently ringing and you know without a doubt who it is, but you can’t answer him because you might have lost it in the pile of clothes on your bed and floor.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you hiss to yourself repeatedly as you rummage through the clothes, the ringing of your phone becoming more persistent if that’s even possible. Then it stops ringing before you have the chance to locate it. You continue to look as you sigh, knowing it will most likely ring again in a few seconds. But it doesn’t. Instead there’s a knock on your door. You glance down at your body. 

“Great, still naked,” you groan to yourself and move to the door, opening it and revealing your curly-haired best friend (who may you mention looks exceptionally good in his ripped blue jeans, black hoodie and white sneakers). He marches into your room before you even get to greet him. You close the door after him before turning to look at him. You grip the towel tightly, terrified it will fall if you let go. And cause a very awkward situation for you and Jeongguk.

“What’s taking you so long? We have to-” Jeongguk stops as he turns to face you, just now realising you’re only wrapped in a towel and not fully dressed at all. “Oh.”

Your lips turn into a straight line, nodding. “Yep.”

His cheeks turn a slight red color as he quickly turns back around, his back to you. “Sorry,” he then says. You laugh at his embarrassment, clearly not as fazed about this as him. And he’s supposed to be the girl magnet, you think to yourself.

“Calm down, Gguk. I decided to let you in even though I’m basically naked, so really, don’t worry about it.”

He glances at you over his shoulder, not even slightly discreet about the way he looks you up and down. You feel your cheeks slightly heat up, noticing the way his eyes linger on your hand which is still clutching the towel tightly. It has been almost 9 months since you met Jeongguk at the frat party and there has been a slight tension of something you can’t quite decipher ever since. There have been more than several moments like these where Jeongguk is staring at you a bit too long or his touch lingers on you for a while longer than they probably were supposed to. You always shrug it off, not thinking too much of it because it’s probably all in your head anyway.

Jeongguk sits himself down on your bed, gesturing to the bathroom. “Well, get dressed already. Jimin’s performance is in like 30 minutes.”

“Right!” You shriek, now remembering what the purpose of your shower was. 

Jimin is Jeongguk’s best friend from high school and is a year ahead of you and Jeongguk at the same college. Jimin is a dance major, doing all kinds of dances varying from hiphop to contemporary and so on. He’s truly talented and even more of a sweetheart. You met him one night a few months back when you joined Jeongguk and his group of friends at a karaoke bar. You hit it off with Jimin in particular that night, and your friendship has only been getting better ever since.

Jeongguk watches with a lopsided smile as you scurry back to the bathroom to dry your hair. You haven’t even decided on an outfit yet. “What do I even wear?”

On your bed, Jeongguk is looking through your clothes. He holds up a red skirt without thinking, just simply liking the color of it.. “What about this?” He calls out to you, having no idea at all what you could possibly wear to go see a dance performance. You open the bathroom door slightly to look at him and the piece of clothing in his hand.

“A flaming red miniskirt?” You question, raising a single eyebrow at him. He catches your tone and drops it to the floor, looking for something else.

He tries again as he holds up a pair of light denim jeans with a cute, hesitating smile on his face. “Jeans?”

You grin, nodding, “much better.”

The place is crowded once you and Jeongguk arrive at the theatre where Jimin is going to perform. You look around, trying to see if you can spot Jimin. You want to wish him good luck before he gets on stage. Just as you locate him, he looks up and locks eyes with you. You wave excitingly, grabbing Jeongguk’s arm and pulling him towards his own best friend. Jeongguk lets you drag him along with a small smile on his lips.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Jimin beamed, hugging you tightly. You smile as Jimin gives you a light squeeze before pulling away.

Jeongguk grins at his best friend. “We wouldn’t miss it, hyung.”

Jimin pats Jeongguk on the shoulder in an appreciative manner. “Well, take a seat. The show is starting in 15 minutes or so,” he gestures to the seats, “I have to get backstage before the stylists have my ass for not being ready on time.”

You chuckle, not surprised that Jimin is one to always struggle with being on time. It has happened once or twice before.

“Good luck!” You make sure to tell him. Beside you, Jeongguk offers his hyung an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. Jimin gives your hand a squeeze before heading off to backstage. You both watch him run off, the stylist already smacking his arm as she tells him to sit down. You glance at Jeongguk who’s already laughing because of his best friend. “Where do you wanna sit?” You ask him.

He shrugs, “you decide, I’m happy anywhere.” You nod and purse your lips, looking over the theatre.

“Let’s just sit here,” you point to the seats right beside you. Jeongguk agrees, his hand coming up to rest against the small of your back as to tell you to sit first. Your skin tingles underneath your shirt at his touch, his hand strong but soft on you and lingering a tad bit longer than necessary. You sit down, Jeongguk plopping down beside you. His hand is resting on the armrest between the two of you and it takes all in you to not let your own rest on top of his.

To say your crush on Jeongguk had become less and less the past 9 months would be a total lie. If anything, it has only become worse and yet you can’t get yourself to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s still the ‘Jeon’ you met at the party almost a year ago, his fuckboy tendencies coming through once in a while and you’ve seen girls leave his room in the morning when you’d arrive at his place to hang out. And it hurt slightly every single time but you’ve never considered telling him why it hurts. He doesn’t even know it hurts you. But then again, here he is on a Saturday night, spending his evening with you to watch Jimin’s dance performance when in reality, he has seen Jimin perform multiple times. More times than he can count and it’s nothing new to him. He could be balls deep in some random girl right now and yet he’s here. With you. And his leg is brushing against yours, his shoulder is also touching you. It would be so easy to just tangle your fingers through his but your insecurities and doubt stop you from doing anymore. You sigh deeply, leaning back in your seat.

Jeongguk notices the heavy sigh you let out, looking at you with slight worry in his eyes. “Everything okay?”

You nod, offering him a soft smile. “Yeah, just a bit tired,” you answer him, a small yawn escaping your lips. It was partly true. You can tell he doesn’t quite believe you but decides against it, not wanting to push you into telling him.

Jimin’s performance starts right then. The lights dimmed down as he appears on stage along with a group of other people, his dance team that consists of other guys. Some of them are also Jeongguk’s friends; Taehyung and Hoseok. You watch with wide, exciting eyes, feeling very proud of Jimin for finally doing this performance when you know how much he has been working on it and how time consuming it has been for him. What you don’t notice throughout the entire performance is that Jeongguk is occasionally watching you instead of the performance, his heart beating just a tad bit faster whenever you almost catch him.

When Jimin finishes and bows to the crowd, you stand up for an applause, smiling widely as he thanks everyone by bowing one more time and then heading off stage.

Jeongguk taps your shoulder, motioning his head as if to tell you to leave. “Let’s go find him,” he says over the music that’s still playing. You nod, grabbing your things and following right behind. You squeal, happy and excited as you spot Jimin by the stage. He turns around just as you reach him, engulfing him in a tight hug. Jeongguk stands by behind you, watching you hug the living shit out of his best friend. It doesn’t feel right, he thinks to himself.

“You were amazing!” You cheered, squeezing him tightly as he did to you earlier. He laughs at your gushing excitement as you pull apart, thanking you and flashing you that charming smile of his.

Jimin glances at Jeongguk, smiling lips falling into a straight line. You don’t notice but Jeongguk is glaring at Jimin and Jimin knows exactly why. He scratches the back of his head, glancing back at his team before looking back at you and Jeongguk.

“We, um, we’re headed to a bar downtown. You guys wanna join?”

You look at Jeongguk briefly before smiling at Jimin, nodding, “sure.”

“Great! We’re leaving in a few, I just need to pack up my stuff,” Jimin grins and heads over to his team. You spot two people that you know — Hoseok and Taehyung. Taehyung caught your eye a lot during the performance, his mop of curly black hair stood out a lot and the way he was so into the performance and the mood of the songs. Truly mesmerising. 

Jeongguk clears his throat beside you, letting you know that he’s still right beside you. Your cheeks heat up at the possible chance of being caught ogling a bit too long at Taehyung. 

“Let’s go,” you pipe up, leaving Jeongguk’s side to go find Jimin again. The tension that’s starting to form is too intense for you right now. You feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you as you walk away and up to Jimin. Jeongguk’s heart drops a little when he can tell that you decide to walk with Jimin all the way to the bar downtown. He doesn’t get to stand there and grumble too long because Hoseok and Taehyung are quick to pull him along, dragging him in the same direction you and Jimin left in.

Your laughter sounds like a sweet melody to Jeongguk as he watches you from his seat at the bar, laughing at something Taehyung says to you. You’ve been sitting beside Taehyung for the past two hours, laughing and having a good time which is great but Jeongguk doesn’t like how close to you Taehyung is sitting and he certainly doesn’t like the way you have to touch Taehyung’s arm every time you laugh at something he says. Jeongguk takes a swig of his beer as Jimin plops down on the seat beside him. Jimin follows his line of sight, sighing deeply once he realizes what has caused him to become so quiet. 

“Dude, you’re gonna burn holes in their skulls if you keep staring like that,” Jimin calls out, snapping Jeongguk out of his own thoughts.

Jeongguk sighs, taking his eyes off you and Taehyung. “Yeah,” he trails off.

Eyeing him carefully, Jimin places a hand on his shoulder. “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just go talk to her?” He suggests, the tone sounding hesitant.

Jeongguk glances at Jimin. “You know I can’t do that,” he grumbles, turning his back to you and Taehyung, facing the bar instead. 

Jimin nods as he remembers why. “Sure, but can you explain it to me again? I still don’t see the point.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair only for it to fall back into his eyes. He really needed a haircut soon, he thinks to himself.

“I can’t tell her how I feel because that’d ruin our friendship and I’d rather have her be my friend than nothing at all,” he explains to Jimin as if it’s obvious. And it was true. Jeongguk’s straight up terrified that you’ll find out how he really feels about you and then proceed to end your friendship. It’s a risk he isn’t willing to take, maybe someday but just not yet.

Jimin hums to himself. “What if she feels the same then?” Jeongguk stays silent. “Ever thought about that possibility?”

Shaking his head, he sighs, almost sounding like he has given up on you already. “Listen, I just know that she doesn’t. She wouldn’t be over there with Tae right now if that was the case- Ow! What the hell was that for?”

He rubs the back of his head, pouting lightly at his best friend. Jimin shakes his head. “You’re dumber than I thought,” he concludes before getting up from his seat and heading back to the table where the rest of his dance team is sitting. 

Jeongguk slumps in his seat, dropping his head into his hand. Jimin is right; he really is dumb. But as he glances back at you and sees the wide smile on your face, the same smile he can get out of you with his stupid jokes and goofy faces, he just knows that he wouldn’t be able to live without you even if it meant he got to tell you how he really feels. Jeongguk turns his back to the scene that is you and Taehyung again, finishing his bottle of beer before ordering a new one.

It isn’t even him who walks you home to your dorm that night. Taehyung gets the chance and swoops right in, offering to walk you home. You let him without hesitation and Jeongguk can only stand back, watching you walk off with Taehyung by your side. And it doesn’t go unnoticed, neither by him or Jimin, that you also forgot to hug your best friend goodnight. Jimin offers Jeongguk an apologetic smile, patting his shoulder and wishing him a good night before heading home with Hoseok, who’s also his roommate besides being his teammate.

Jeongguk is pretty sure everyone who passes by him on his way home can hear the sound of his heart breaking a bit more for every step he takes. But what does it matter? You don’t want this broken heart anyway.

“I’m thinking about moving out of the frat house.”

Your eyes widen in surprise and you choke on the coffee Jeongguk had just served you, coughing lightly and holding a “one second” hand up to Jeongguk who looks at you worried. Once your coughing dies down, you look at him, still surprised.

“You what?”

Jeongguk chuckles in his seat across from you. “I don’t feel like staying at the frat house anymore,” he shrugs, “I earn enough from working here to find my own place.”

Jeongguk’s little part time job at the campus café actually does pay him a good amount of money, but you wouldn’t expect anything else since he’s here more than he’s in class. The hours he dedicates to this place also gives him the right to chill in a booth with you during his shift because the owner of the shop gives him that much freedom. He has her hooked around his little finger and she doesn’t even know it. You smile at the thought, knowing very well that every single woman — old and young — would let Jungkook do whatever he wants after being flashed that charming smile of his. You guess that’s just the way his charms work.

“What’s on your mind?” Jeongguk asks, tapping your forehead to get you back to earth.

Your cheeks turn pink, “sorry.”

Jeongguk smiles at you, eyes glinting like they always do behind that long hair. “Actually, I already found a place I would like to rent, it’s not far from campus and it’s the perfect size even though it’s a 3-bedroom apartment,” he tells you. You smile, happy for him.

“That’s great, Gguk!” You beamed. “I’m happy for you.”

He did say 3-bedroom apartment though. Does that mean he’ll get himself a roommate? Your head fills with possible options for a roommate for him. Jimin could be a good one, but he already lives off campus with Hoseok. Taehyung lives by himself in a studio apartment, so that wasn’t an option either. He could ask that other guy he sometimes hangs out with, that one from his photography class and his frat house too. Namjoon, was it? You purse your lips, several faces showing up in your mind. Jeongguk clears his throat across from you, bringing you back once again.

“You’re zoning out a lot today,” he states, concern covering his face. You chuckle. 

“I was just thinking about who you could ask to be your roommate,” you tell him and Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak up but you continue, “most of your friends already live off campus but you could ask that Namjoon fella, he still lives in the frat house, right?”

Jeongguk nods.

“He seems like a nice guy,” you ponder, finger tapping your chin. “You could just find some stranger too, but that’s quite a risk, isn’t it? Personally, I would prefer someone I know already, but you do you.”

You hear him sigh in defeat as you ramble on. “Or what about-”

Jeongguk cuts you off. “I already know who I’m gonna ask,” he blurts.

“Oh.” You fall silent. 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk says, “she’s rambling her ass off right now and she does that a lot to be honest, so I don’t know if I still wanna ask her.”

Your cheeks are burning as Jeongguk smirks at you, knowing very well that you’re aware he’s talking about you. Composing yourself, you sit upright in your seat. “Well, what if she doesn’t wanna move out of her dorm?”

Jeongguk chuckles sarcastically. “Oh, but she does,” he snickered, “with the amount of times she has complained about the shitty shower in her room, I’m convinced she’s just waiting for the opportunity to get out of there.” 

“Am not!” You defend yourself even though you know he’s right. 

Jeongguk laughs. “Shut up.”

You cross your arms over your chest, pretending to be offended but you can’t hold the act for long as you burst into laughter. “Okay, you’re right. I really do hate that shower.”

“Thought so,” Jeongguk smirks lightly. He stands from his seat, knowing he has to get back to work before the customers think he’s some lazy barista. He offers you another one of those charming smiles of his. “You’re my best friend, ___. I can’t imagine anyone else in that room other than you. So just think about it, yeah?”

You nod, smiling. You watch him walk off, heading for the cashier. He moves around the counter, patting the other cute barista boy (he’s a sophomore and he basically idolizes Jeongguk) on the shoulder as he passes by him and continues out to the back of the café. You turn back to your laptop and books, smiling to yourself as you take another sip of your coffee, made (with a tiny amount of love, but you don’t know that) by Jeongguk.

You don’t get too much time to yourself and your assignment before a certain dancer slips into the seat Jeongguk was in previously. You glance up at Jimin, who’s smiling slyly at you. You give him a confused but curious look, closing your laptop screen. “What?”

He nods his head in Jeongguk’s direction. “Did he ask you?”

“Asked me what?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about.”

You shrug. “He did,” you squint at him as he cheers, clapping his hands.

“Well,” he gushes, “did you say yes?” His excitement is bouncing off the walls as he leans over the table. You’re close to getting a whiplash from his quickly changing expression as you watch his face fall not even two seconds later. “Did you say no? Why?”

You shake your head, not able to keep up with him. “Calm down, will you? I didn’t even get to answer you.”

Jimin breathes out and slumps back in his seat. “Sorry,” he pouts but grins nevertheless, “I’m just excited.”

“You don’t say,” you mumble under your breath. “I didn’t give him an answer yet, he told me to think about it.”

Across from you, Jimin smiles at you - his smile hinting at something. You let out a small groan. “Jimin! I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not gonna do it.”

“What?” Jimin exclaims, hands up in surrender. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Now it’s your time to roll your eyes because yes, you do in fact know what he’s about to say. Jimin has been pestering you ever since he met you about the fact that you’re ‘pining’ after Jeongguk, your feelings on your sleeve and obvious to anyone around you, except for Jeongguk. The fact that you haven’t even told Jimin how you feel about Jeongguk just shows how well Jimin reads people and apparently you’re like an open book, especially to Jimin. Not to certain others.

“Have you ever thought about the possibility that he might like you too?” Jimin questions you, the same question he asked Jeongguk at the bar the other night. You nod your head at this, sighing deeply in exasperation.

“I have, Jimin, I really have,” you mumble, “but it’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way. I can just tell that I’m nothing but a good friend to him.”

Jimin might scream at the both of you very soon. How blind and stupid can people actually be?

“If you say so,” he backtracks. You lean back in your seat, pen coming up to lay between your teeth. You bite on it as you stare at nothing in particular, Jeongguk is filling up your brain like he lives there rent free. “Look, ___,” Jimin catches your attention again, “accept his offer, maybe you’ll be surprised.”

He gives you a friendly, comforting smile and a squeeze of your hand before he gets up. He waves at Jeongguk who stands behind the counter again before leaving the café. His words linger around you. “Maybe you’ll be surprised.” Jimin had said and you wonder why he would say that. You know Jeongguk quite well even after less than a year as friends; what could possibly surprise you at this point?

Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to live in the same place as Jeongguk. This thought has appeared in your head for the past hours since you left the café. Now you’re sitting here, in your bed with a Netflix show, which you’re not paying attention to, running through several episodes. Jeongguk’s proposition has been raking up your mind since he left you to yourself at the café. It’s like he knew you would have to think about it when he told you to do exactly that.

And as you sit here, thoughts running at full speed, you try to come up with pros and cons for living under the same roof as your bff #1. Pros are that you get a nice shower every time you have to bath, you will live off Jeongguk’s delicious gastronomic talent and you’ll have your best friend close to you at all times. Cons would be the possibility of getting tired of each other even though you already spend five out of seven days together during the week. Another con would be witnessing girls leave his room and your apartment in the morning after having heard her scream his name all night. That specific thought makes a weird, not-so-great feeling appear in your stomach, making you frown deeply. But you will have to realize sooner or later that Jeongguk won’t ever see you that way and that this crush of yours is a lost cause. Maybe it really is time to just get over it. You sigh deeply, grabbing your phone off the nightstand to send Jeongguk a text.

you [11:38 pm]: i’ll do it, but you gotta make me delicious food every day

You wait for his reply, staring at your screen. Heart hammers wildly as three dots appear on the screen. Your breath hitches in your throat as you read his reply.

gguk [11:40 pm]: anything for you princess ;)

Jeongguk has never in these months of you knowing him, called you a nickname like that. And the way your cheeks blush as you imagine him saying it, tells on you. You love it.

Jeongguk groans as he puts down your last box on the floor of your new bedroom. It’s a box with all your English books and there’s a lot. “Have you even read all of these?”

You stop in your little project of hanging up all your precious polaroid pictures, turning to look at him. You scoff, lying as you say: “yes, of course.”

He smirks lightly, giving you a look that says ‘nice try’. You laugh to yourself, turning back around to your polaroids. 

Jeongguk plops down on your bed, head laying on his hands as he brings them up behind his head. Today is a day for the books, you thought to yourself when he first arrived along with Jimin to get all your boxes and shove them into Jimin’s tiny car. He’s wearing blue jeans again, which you absolutely love on him, and he has styled them simply with a black t-shirt, showing off his tattooed right arm. You’ve been staring at him quite a few times since you arrived at the apartment you and Jeongguk have rented together. And it wasn’t helping how his arms kept flexing as he carried your boxes with all your shit up to your new bedroom.

He watches you in silence as you hang up the polaroids, standing with one in particular a bit longer. You smile as you reach down, showing it to him. “It’s us,” you smile softly.

Jeongguk takes the polaroid from your fingers, holding it closer to his face to see it better. It’s a polaroid photo taken at the Han River from that one night where you went out to eat dinner with his friends and some of your girlfriends. You had brought your polaroid camera along, hoping to catch some memories with it tonight. Jeongguk had noticed it that evening, grabbing it from your purse and snapping a ‘selfie’ of the two of you.

He smiles at the photo, remembering that evening as clear as if it was yesterday. That evening was one of the first times Jeongguk realized that he was indeed absolutely smitten by you and that you had him wrapped around your finger. You just didn’t know and you still don’t. “That was a great night,” he reminisces, handing you the photo back. You hang it up on the wall, right in the middle of all the others.

“Yeah,” you sigh deeply, “it was.”

Jeongguk claps his hands on his thighs as he sits up on the edge of your bed. You plop down beside him. “Pizza for dinner?” He suggests.

You nod frantically, “yes, please.”

And that’s how you and Jeongguk end up on the couch, watching that stupid movie with Gong Yoo. You’re completely sucked into that movie, mouth open in awe as you watch Gong Yoo unfolding his charms on the tv-screen. “Wow,” you breathe out as he kisses the main female character. Jeongguk scoffs from beside you, rolling his eyes before dropping his head backwards. The ceiling is more interesting than that ridiculous movie.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with this guy?” he asks, looking back at the screen again.

You shoot him a glare. “Are you sure you're not jealous?”

Jeongguk gasps dramatically, pretending to be offended by your words as he places a hand over his heart. “Am not!”

“Am too!” You laugh, scooting closer to him on the couch. “Admit it, you don’t like Gong Yoo because he’s getting a lot more attention than you.”

Scoffing again, Jeongguk knows that’s a lie and suddenly feeling like he needs to prove a point. He has girls waiting for him, not that you don’t know that. He smirks at you and says: “You know that’s a big fat lie, ___.”

You cock a brow at him. “You’re so full of yourself,” you scoff and get off the couch, taking the pizza boxes with you to clean up, “and you’re jealous, it’s obvious.”

Jeongguk scoffs right back at you as he gets up to follow you into the kitchen. “I am not jealous of some actor,” he states, “I have no reason to be.” You sigh to yourself, your back facing him as he leans in the doorway to the kitchen. You know very well that he has no reason to be jealous of some actor and you certainly don’t need him to remind you. He watches you clean up with a frown. “___.”

“What, Gguk?” You laugh humorlessly, turning to face him. “I get it, you’re hot and a woman magnet and so on, you don’t have to explain it to me.”

He smirks lightly, pushing himself off the wall and stepping closer to you. “Who’s the jealous one now?” He chuckled, arms crossed over his chest as he towers over you. You groan and push at him, making him take a step back from you.

“You’re so annoying,” you grumbled, moving around him and out of the kitchen. Jeongguk watches you walk away towards your bedroom. “Goodnight, roomie,” you call out, waving a hand over your head without glancing back at him. There was a tone of sarcasm in your voice. The door to your bedroom being closed as Jeongguk sighs to himself, wandering his way to his own bedroom. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s asleep. The day must’ve been more tiring than he had thought. A nice memory of him and a pretty girl at the Han River fills up his mind as he dozes off into the night.

The next morning you’re sitting at the dining table, laptop and books out. Your reading glasses are resting on the bridge of your nose and your hair is in a messy bun, making you look relaxed as you study for whatever class you have coming up. Jeongguk strolls out of his bedroom, no shirt… only a pair of grey sweatpants. You glance at him as he passes by you, heading directly for the fridge. You can hear him rustle around for a bowl and a spoon. A minute later he joins you at the dining table, a bowl of fruit loops in front of him.

“Morning,” he says softly, voice still hoarse from waking up. Your stomach tingles at the sound and you mentally slap yourself for being such a wimp for him. You don’t give him a response, continuing to read in your book and type away on your laptop. You can feel him glancing at you occasionally as he eats his cereal. Jeongguk pouts lightly, sighing deeply as you don’t pay him any attention. This is not how he expected the first morning in the apartment to be like. He grumbles to himself for a bit, contemplating on what to say to fill out the silence that has overcome the two of you. An idea pops into his head. 

“Hey, I was thinking,” he starts, making you look at him briefly. You focus back on your laptop. Jeongguk falls silent.

“I’m listening,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just gotta finish this, but I’m listening.”

Jeongguk nods, hands fumbling. Why was he suddenly so nervous around you? There is absolutely no reason to be. Was it the tone from last time in which you had told him goodnight and then left him to himself that had him so on edge? He can’t really tell.

“I was thinking that we could have a small get-together with our friends, like a moving-in party?” He suggests. This idea actually sounds interesting, you think to yourself as you look back at him. Jeongguk smiles softly, continuing: “We can just invite the guys I usually hang with and then you can invite Lisa and Jisoo?”

You nod, smiling. “That does sound fun,” you agree on his idea, “let’s do it.”

A grin appears on Jeongguk’s lips. “Tonight? If people are able to make it with such short notice?”

Again, you nod. “I’m sure they don’t have more important stuff to attend on this Saturday evening,” you chuckle, knowing your friends and the fact that they rarely have much to do except for school, work and hanging out with each other. Same goes for Jeongguk’s friends. 

“You’re right,” Jeongguk laughs, feeling more at ease now that you’ve joked around with him a bit instead of just sitting there in silence and not really noticing him. It feels better when you laugh, joke around and talk like you usually do without the annoyed and slightly jealous tone. “I’ll text around, asking them to come over tonight.”

You nod lightly, watching him get up from his seat and bringing his cereal bowl to the kitchen. “Remember to tell them to bring their own alcohol! We have nothing in this house yet,” you call out, chuckling slightly. You really didn’t. You almost didn’t have any food either. Maybe today calls for a shopping trip to the supermarket. You turn back to your laptop, eager to finish the assignment and then getting to the supermarket to buy snacks and some food for your empty kitchen cupboards. Maybe Jeongguk can join you on the trip there.

“You think this is enough?” Jeongguk wonders out loud as he places the bowls of snacks down on the coffee table. You join him a few seconds later, a bunch of glasses in your arms for the beverage. Jeongguk notices you joggling all those glasses, rushing to your side with wide eyes to take some from you.

“Thanks,” you softly say, letting him take most of the glasses and placing them down on the table as well. He smiles sweetly in return. “I think it’s enough, we have a few extra chips bags in the cupboard.”

“Perfect,” Jeongguk grins, clapping his hands and rubbing them together in excitement. “This is gonna be fun, I didn’t expect everyone to say yes but they’re literally all coming here in like ten minutes.”

You chuckle softly, making Jeongguk’s stomach do small backflips. He ignores them as he plops down on the couch. “I’m excited,” you sigh, plopping down beside him.

Jeongguk nods, smiling still. “Me too,” he murmurs.

You and Jeongguk fall into small-talk as you wait for your guests to arrive. A bit more than ten minutes pass and the first guest knocks on the door. Jeongguk gets up to let them in, not getting to say much before he’s engulfed in a tight hug by Hoseok. “Hey man,” Hoseok grins, squeezing Jeongguk tightly. He pats him on the back before letting go and walking further inside. Jimin and Taehyung follow right behind, both giving Jeongguk one of those guy hugs.

You lock eyes with Taehyung, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. He lets go of Jeongguk to make his way to you, smiling widely. He looks really good, you think to yourself as he stops in front of you. His dark hair was curlier and more unruly than the last time you saw him which was only a few days ago. His smile was wide and bright as always, and his eyes a warm, dark brown. “Hey,” he greets you, smiling.

“Hi,” you reply, leaning closer to give him a hug. Jeongguk is closing the door behind Jimin as he glances your way and notices how Taehyung is already at your side, hugging you. He feels himself become slightly frustrated but Jimin is quick to push a hand against his chest, stopping him from walking over to you and make himself look stupid.

“Don’t,” he shakes his head at Jeongguk, eyeing him down until Jeongguk looks slightly less like he could punch Taehyung in the face right now. His jealousy is starting to get the best of him. He watches you, noticing how you smile that specific smile whenever you get flustered or complimented. Jimin glances in the direction of you and Taehyung, sighing as he looks back at Jeongguk. “You don’t get to be like this, Gguk. Not when you haven’t done anything to get her yourself.”

Jeongguk breathes out deeply, taking his eyes away from the relationship that’s starting to unfold in front of his eyes. Jimin is right, once again. He has no right to get all worked up and angry at the thought of you with Taehyung. At least Taehyung has the balls to actually flirt with you. Jeongguk feels like it backfires every time he tries to. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be you and him. With one glance at you and Taehyung, he joins Jimin in the kitchen to get himself a beer.

The night goes on, the rest of your friends arriving not long after Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin. Lisa and Jisoo sit with you at the dining table, having fun as all of you laugh loudly at whatever you’re talking about. Jeongguk has been watching you tonight more than he’d like to admit, almost being caught a few times. But he was quick enough to look away before you could lock eyes with him. He hasn’t spoken much to you since your friends had arrived which made his heart fall a bit further into his stomach. 

You glance in his direction, smiling softly. Jeongguk smiles back at you, deciding to get up and talk to you for the first time in hours. Grabbing his beer off the table, he’s about to get up and make his way to you, but he quickly stops in his tracks. Taehyung appears out of nowhere, standing close to you. His hands are resting on your shoulders as you look up at him. He smiles and says something Jeongguk can’t make out. You get up from your seat, letting Taehyung take your hand in his and guide you to the small balcony that is in you and Jeongguk’s apartment. 

Jeongguk doesn’t notice Lisa and Jisoo looking at him, sad smiles on their faces as his face drops and he heads for the kitchen instead, walking past them. You nor Jeongguk knows that the two girls are secretly rooting for the two of you to finally get out of your heads and actually date. It has been too long of this pining after one another, but you’re both in denial no matter how much either Lisa, Jisoo, Jimin or whoever it is, tells you to confess to each other. Lisa gets up from her seat, letting Jisoo know she’ll be right back. 

Lisa sighs deeply at the sight when she enters the kitchen. Jeongguk is hunched over the kitchen counter, head in his hands. She walks up to him, leaning against the counter beside him. Jeongguk senses her presence, grumbling lightly. “What?”

She scoffs, throwing a slap to his back causing him to stand up and face her. He glares at her, but he doesn’t say anything as he leans back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He’s frowning deeply, looking at the floor. “What’s going on with you?” Lisa asks, even though she knows what’s up. Jeongguk glances quickly at her before diverting his gaze back to the floor.

“Nothing,” he shrugs.

Lisa scoffs again, not believing any of his bullshit. “Bullshit, Jeon. I know this is about ___.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at the mention of your name. He’s about to have had enough of talking about you and his feelings for you. Jeongguk is quite literally wearing his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see and yet you’re the only one who doesn’t notice. “I just needed a moment to myself,” he mumbles, sighing deeply before taking a swig of his 4th or 5th beer of tonight.

Lisa nods, “I get that. I mean, she did go with Tae just as you were about to approach her.”

“Yup,” Jeongguk pops the ‘p’, another sip of his beer down his throat. “She’s with Tae, probably already head over heels for him.”

The annoyance in his tone and the slight disgust makes Lisa sigh. “Listen, Jeongguk, you’re doing nothing. You walk around, hang out with her and now you live with her and she still doesn’t know. ___ is blind as hell and she won’t know about your feelings if you don’t acknowledge them yourself.”

“I know,” Jeongguk groans, “but I just don’t- I don’t think she’ll ever see me like I see her.”

Lisa pats his shoulder, giving him a smile that probably is supposed to comfort him but it only makes him feel like she’s pitying him. “Just think about telling her how you feel instead of getting hurt every time someone else does what you could be doing.”

And with that, she leaves him alone in the kitchen again. Staying in his place for a few minutes, he contemplates going out to the balcony and demanding to talk to you, even if it means he has to interrupt your conversation with Taehyung. He empties his beer, leaving it behind as he makes his way to the balcony. He opens the door slightly, slipping outside to see you there with your hand in Taehyung’s. His face drops a little along with his heart. He covers it well with a small smile, his heart hammering hard inside his chest still.

“Hey Tae,” he says, “can I steal ___ for a bit?”

Taehyung nods at his younger friend, looking back at you. “So Friday then?” Taehyung smiles at you.

Friday? What happens Friday?

Jeongguk looks at you, awaiting your answer like Taehyung. “Yep,” you nod, smiling softly back at the curly-haired man in front of you.

“Awesome, it’s a date then,” he grins and lets go of your hand, heading back inside. Jeongguk moves to the side, letting Taehyung through the door. You glance at your roommate slash best friend, watching him as he moves closer. Silence overcomes you for the second time today and Jeongguk finds it unbearable. There’s usually never silence between you or around you, only when you have study dates and even then you always end up chatting instead of actually studying. 

Jeongguk clears his throat to break the silence. “So a date, huh?”

You look at him, a small hesitant smile on your lips but it looks closer to being a frown than an actual smile. “Yeah,” you trail off, finger fumbling as you lean over the balcony fence. Jeongguk’s hands are in his pockets but he feels them itching, dying to grab your fumbling ones.

“He’s a great guy,” Jeongguk suddenly blurts. You look at him confused. “Taehyung, I mean.”

You nod slowly, wondering where this conversation is going.

“But he loves girls, ___,” he rambles on, “you know, like, he has a hard time focusing on just one.”

Your face becomes hard, slightly offended on Taehyung’s behalf as the words leave Jeongguk’s mouth. “Oh, so he’s like you?”

Jeongguk falls silent at your words and it feels like a low blow. He sighs and frowns, looking away from you, staring at the almost empty street below. You can’t help but feel slightly guilty from saying that but it’s not a lie. Jeongguk has a booty call or two during the week, always having someone to contact whenever he needs his dick wet. But you still feel bad for firing off such a harsh comment.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, softly touching his bicep before heading back inside, leaving Jeongguk alone on the balcony.

You’re right, he thinks, but it’s only you who actually matters to him.

Two months have passed since your moving-in party, and things have been a bit tense around the apartment ever since. Taehyung has visited the apartment more often than any of your shared friends, but not for Jeongguk’s company. No, yours. And even though Jeongguk really has no say in your relationship with Taehyung, he still can’t help himself as he finds it ridiculous. He can tell you’re not as much in it as Taehyung is and it’s quite painful to watch. Why you’re not as into it as him is still a mystery to Jeongguk.

Today is no different as Jeongguk sits on the couch, watching his favorite cartoon when the doorbell rings. He groans lowly as he gets up from the couch to open the door. Taehyung appears in front of him, his big and unruly curly hair taking all the attention. Dude should get a haircut, Jeongguk thinks to himself as he leaves the door open for Taehyung to enter. 

“Hey man,” Taehyung greets Jeongguk, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Is ___ home?”

Jeongguk cocks a single eyebrow. Shouldn’t he have checked that before coming here. “She’s in the shower,” he tells Taehyung, plopping back down on the couch. Taehyung nods, thanking him quietly before heading for your bedroom. Jeongguk watches him, grumbling under his breath because he’s starting to get tired of seeing Taehyung’s face that often during the week. He sighs to himself, trying to focus on his cartoon show instead of the sounds of you giggling inside your room.

Long hours pass before Jeongguk hears Taehyung leaving, the clock striking eleven in the evening before he’s out of you and Jeongguk’s apartment. He did leave quite in a rush though, making Jeongguk curious. He leaves his laptop on as he gets up from his bed to go to your bedroom. He knocks on your slightly opened door, peeking inside. You’re nowhere to be seen making him frown and furrow his eyebrows. He hears shuffling in the kitchen as he moves to the living room. When he reaches the doorway to the kitchen, he leans against it. You’re moving around, rummaging through the cupboards for something, dressed in pajamas shorts and an oversized t-shirt, one that looks awfully a lot like one of his.

“What are you looking for?” Jeongguk calls out, making you jump in surprise. You hold a hand to your chest as you turn to look at him, eyes wide. Jeongguk smirks lightly at your shocked expression, noticing the light blush that appears on your cheeks.

You turn your back to him to continue to look through the cupboards. “Just some snacks, I’m craving some right now,” you tell your best friend who you have no idea is just behind you. You freeze in your actions as Jeongguk reaches up to grab his usual snack off the top shelf. He hands it to you, smiling softly. You squint at him, wondering why he’s giving you his favorite snacks and the last pack at that.

As if he can read your mind: “You can have them if you want.”

Smiling, you open the pack and pop one into your mouth, the crispy consistency making you sigh in content. Jeongguk laughs at your happy expression, knowing the way to your heart is usually through food. 

You grab another piece, holding it up to Jeongguk’s lips. He glances at it before opening his mouth and letting you feed him. His eyes are on yours the entire time as his lips brush your fingertips. Your heart leaps, making you pull your fingers back quickly. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice as he smiles, chewing the snack with the same happy expression you sported just moments ago.

“Let’s talk,” you suddenly blurt out, Jeongguk looking confused which causes you to explain further. “We haven’t like talked talked in a long time, so uh yeah, let’s talk?”

Your declaration has turned into a hesitant question as you wait, needing some kind of response.

“Sure,” he shrugs, smiling again. As he turns on his heel, you smile back and follow him into the living room. You plop down beside him on the couch, unintentionally letting your legs rest against his thigh as you pull them up under you. He glances at your bare legs for a second before diverting his eyes to you. “So what do you wanna talk about?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, life?”

Jeongguk chuckles, “life?”

You nod enthusiastically, smiling at him, “yes, life.”

He purses his lips, wondering if there’s anything to tell. You basically know most things already and not much has happened the past weeks except for the fact that his little ‘I’m in love with my best friend’ hasn’t resolved at all, and that he’s still hopelessly in love with you even though you have a boyfriend now. Which still seems surreal to him because it’s one of his friends whom he usually likes but not right now because well, yeah, he’s dating you. But there’s no way he’s actually going to tell you all of that.

“I don’t have anything to say,” he decides on saying, pouting playfully. You chuckle at his facial expression. He smiles at you, eyes going soft because you’re sitting so close to him for the first time in a long time and he feels relaxed. More relaxed than he has been for a while.

“Nothing much for me either,” you sigh, moving the pack of snacks closer to Jeongguk so he can eat some. “Tae asked me to come home with him for the fall break, he wants me to meet his parents.” You leave out the part where you broke up with Taehyung.

Jeongguk’s movements come to a halt, one banana crisp inches away from entering his mouth. “Really?”

You nod. Jeongguk notices how your tone was slightly hesitating and off as you told him about Taehyung’s request.

“Isn’t it a bit…” he trails off, not knowing which words to use without sounding like an asshole. You watch him as he searches for the words.

“A bit what, Gguk?” You press.

He sighs. “A bit over the top, maybe?”

You scoff lightly, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeongguk panics as you move a bit away, your legs no longer touching his. You give him a look that tells him to explain what he means. He sits up, elbows resting on his knees. “Listen, I just think it’s a bit unnecessary since it’s obvious that this relationship isn’t as important to you than it is to Tae.”

“You don’t know that,” you tell him, voice stern. Jeongguk is right, but you’re not gonna tell him that. He hasn’t been talking much to you for the past months hence he has no idea what he’s talking about because you haven’t told him anything about your now ended relationship with Taehyung. Call you bitter, you don’t care. Your best friend hasn’t shown any interest in your life whatsoever for two months now and yes, you’re blaming him for the tension there is in this home.

Jeongguk lets out a small groan in frustration, “but I do, ___! I do know,” he insisted, turning to fully face you, “I can tell because you’re not looking at him the way he looks at you, you’re not fully there every time he’s kissing you goodbye by the door before he leaves. I’ve witnessed it enough to know that you don’t feel the same as he does.”

You’re silent as he talks, listening to everything he says but still holding onto the bitterness that you have for him in regards to his little to no interest in you for two whole months.

“Don’t you dare deny it, ____,” he snapped, “I know you and you don’t love him.”

Punch him. You want to punch him for knowing you so damn well and for seeing right through you. And you want to punch him for being so dumb and blind that he still hasn’t figured out why you’re not in love with Taehyung. How can he not see that he’s the one you love? You’ve been wearing your heart on your sleeve for the entire summer and more, slowly falling in love with him ever since that night he brought you to the frozen yoghurt shop downtown.

“You’re right. I don’t love him,” you mumble under your breath. Jeongguk glances at you, eyes still filled with a small amount of frustration and anger, all directed at you and only you. “But you have no right to tell me this when you haven’t been interested in me and my life for two fucking months, Jeongguk!”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, his heart slowly starting to beat faster because why are you fighting? What the hell just happened? “Wha-” 

You get up from your seat, moving further away from him and Jeongguk feels like you’re slipping right through his fingertips even though he hasn’t ever been the one to hold you. But he should have, he should’ve been the one to hold you from the start.

“You don’t get to do this, not now when we haven’t really spoken to each other for so long,” you jabbed, “it’s my fault too, but I don’t come at you for having several girls over, do I?”

Jeongguk sighs, running his hands over his face in aggravation. “___, you’re overreacting. I wasn’t trying to tell you anything, I was just-”

“No, Jeongguk. No,” you shake your head, sneering at him. “I don’t need you to tell me or suggest anything, I don’t need your input and I don’t need you to make a decision!”

Jeongguk gets up, moving towards you, face twisting in anger. “Tell me, ___. What is he to you, huh? What is he?”

You glare at him, eyes hard on like his own and you don’t falter one moment. This anger and frustration has been a long time coming now, from both of you. “You’ve said he’s your boyfriend, but what is he really? Is he a fuckbuddy? Is he just someone to get yourself off with, huh?”

“No, Jeongguk, fuck you!” You shout, defending whatever it is that you have with Taehyung. “He’s good company, and no, I don’t see him like he sees me. He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

Jeongguk chuckles flatly, no humor behind it as he steps back from you. Hurt flashes across his face as he gets what you just said. “I see how it is,” he nods, giving you one last hurt look before retreating to his room. You stand back, hand coming up to cover your mouth as a cry rakes through your body. You didn’t know you had been holding back tears, the emotions you have for Jeongguk being poured out in the form of heavy tears in the middle of your living room. You’re frozen in your spot, sobs shaking you as you hold yourself. The sound of Jeongguk slamming his hand against the wall makes you move out of your frozen spot. You quickly make your way to your own bedroom, slamming the door behind you. 

You slide under the covers, head feeling heavy as you let the tears fall. You didn’t intend to hurt Jeongguk the way you did, but you practically just shouted at him that you don’t like being around him, that his company isn’t good. It must’ve hurt him more than what you or he, himself, expected it to. You feel bad as you let your duvet engulf you whole, the taste of regret on your tongue as you keep repeating your own words in your head. 

“He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

How could you even say that when Jeongguk hasn’t been anything but great company for you? He has been even more than that, he has been a friend you needed more than you ever knew, a person so supportive and loving that you always felt like you had someone to come to whenever times were rough. And in the midst of all this, you managed to fall for him as well. He didn’t do much to make it happen, he was just himself from the very beginning of your friendship and you’ve seen sides to him not many people have witnessed and you know the real Jeon Jeongguk. The Jeongguk who loves his camera more than anything, the Jeongguk who loves food and snacks and banana milk as if he was five years old again. The Jeongguk who’s such a softie, when you first get to know him like you do, that half of it would be more than enough. The Jeongguk who loves with his entire being, always putting his loved ones before himself – including you.

You sigh deeply, hating yourself for shouting such inaccurate words at him. You had to make it up to him, apologize to him for being so inconsiderate when all he did was trying to make you realize that the relationship you have with Taehyung is a waste of time. Jeongguk is right, you know he is. You don’t love Taehyung and you know you never will. The feelings just aren’t there, they’re elsewhere with someone who’s been worthy of them since what feels like forever.

Sleep doesn't overcome you as you stay in bed, staring at the ceiling. You’ve been tossing and turning for the past few hours, trying your very hardest to fall asleep ever since the fight you had with Jeongguk.You glance at the clock on your nightstand that’s reading 3 am — you have a morning lecture to attend in 6 hours. You let out a heavy sigh. Eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and your lips in a pout because why the fuck are you not able to sleep? Your eyes feel heavy from crying, but your best friend is taking up all your thoughts and the feelings you have for him are almost bursting out of your chest.

You groan to yourself as you roll over, pulling the duvet over your head. Closing your eyes, you try again for the umpteenth time. “I just wanna sleep,” you whine to yourself, but it’s no help. You give up on sleep.

You’re only half aware of what’s happening as you get out of bed and leave your bedroom, heading for Jeongguk’s bedroom. You stop in your tracks in front of his door. Maybe he’s also up, you think to yourself as you reach for the doorknob, turning it lightly. Peeking inside his dark room, you notice him fast asleep in his bed. You softly smile through the evident feeling of regret which is still heavy in your stomach. Without further thinking, you slip inside his room and close the door. You tiptoe over to his bed, glancing over him once again.

He looks peaceful, eyes shut and eyelashes touching the top of his cheek. Yet there’s a crease on his forehead and a slight frown upon his lips. The corner of your lips turn into a frown, copying his features unintentionally. Your eyes rake over the rest of his body. The duvet is only halfway covering him, from the waist and down. his naked chest is rising and falling as he breathes deeply. A soft tingle runs through your stomach as you carefully crawl onto his bed. You lift the duvet and slip under, sliding closer to him. He stirs in his sleep, turning over onto his side. you glance up at his face, noticing his eyes slightly open. You can barely see him in the darkness, but you can feel him looking at you.

“Hey,” he whispers into the darkness.

You smile, a sad smile, but he can’t see it. “Hi.”

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, voice soft yet hoarse. He moves a bit, trying to lay comfortably while creating more space for you. He’s careful not to touch you. 

You shake your head at his question. “Not really,” you mumble.

You scoot closer, hand reaching out to touch his that is lying between the two of you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper softly into the night. Jeongguk turns his hand, letting you intertwine your fingers with his. 

“For what?” He mutters quietly.

You breathe out shakily as Jeongguk is now the one to move closer to you. You let out a sigh, relaxing as his forehead rests against yours, his breathing clashing with your own.

“For the things I said, for shouting at you, for insulting you,” you explain, voice still soft and low as if someone outside would be able to hear you. “I didn’t mean any of it, I just-”

You stop yourself, hesitating. Should you just tell him? Tell him why you don’t love Taehyung when you have plenty of reasons to do so? Jeongguk senses the inner battle you’re having with yourself, his hand squeezing yours to let you know that you can tell him whatever it is that you have on your mind, reassuring you that he’s listening. “I don’t love Taehyung,” you sigh, “I broke up with him tonight… And there’s a pretty good reason for this.”

Jeongguk nods, humming in response because he already knows, it just took him insanely long to realize. Your thundering heart and shaky breath gave you away the moment he moved closer to you. Jeongguk is daring as he leans even closer, breath hitting your lips. You gasp lightly at the feeling of his lips ghosting yours, the skin of them softer than anything. His hand lets go of yours only to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hand touches his bare chest, the almost new and fresh tattoo he got two weeks ago feeling rough yet soft under your touch. He’s holding you so close that you’re unconsciously holding your breath.

“I was so scared,” you whisper against his lips, hand moving up from his chest to the back of his neck. Your fingertips brush against his hair, his long and slightly curled hair soft like you had always imagined it to be. “Scared you wouldn’t say it back.”

The tension in the room is almost unbearable but in a good way. This is months of feelings, tension and longing all coming together and clashing right here in this moment. You feel breathless, like you can’t breathe but at the same time, you’re perfectly fine.

“Say what back, ___?”

His hand runs along your hip and to your thigh, hooking around it and bringing it around him to hug his waist. His crotch is almost touching yours and your breath hitches at the feeling. Jeongguk smirks to himself, knowing exactly what kind of effect he has on you. He loves taking your breath away like this, but he can think of another way, something he’s been dying to do for a long time.

“Tell me,” he demands softly yet strongly, making you gasp again.

“I love you, Jeongguk,” You breathe out, feeling a weight coming off your chest, “I love you so much.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, a small smile appearing on his face as he cups your face, thumb running across your cheek. “You’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back,” he whispers against your lips.

You whine at him for calling you an idiot and then you melt as he presses his lips against yours, soft and plump like pillows. Your hand tangles in his hair, fingers grabbing strands of curly, black hair as you let him kiss you until your breath is gone. It’s like you're sinking into him, fitting perfectly against his body. Goosebumps rise upon your skin as his hand wanders; over your bare legs to your waist and further across your chest and up to lightly wrap around the base of your throat. His tongue pokes at your lips, wanting to find yours. You part your lips, letting his tongue touch yours, the wetness and softness mixing well together as he pulls you even closer, a moan slipping out of you.

“Shit, ___,” he grunts against your lips as you press your core to his in eagerness, making him lose his mind, “please let me fuck you, let me love you so good, baby.”

You nod frantically, giving him full permission to do whatever he wants with you. A tiny squeal emits from your lips as he pushes you over, hovering over you and trapping you between his arms. He looks down at you, eyes soft and filled with want and lust. You smile up at him, hands running up and down the sides of his naked torso. You loved touching him like this, feeling his muscles tense under your touch and his soft skin that is filled with heavy tattoos, all of them having their own special meaning.

“I love you,” he whispers so softly you almost don’t hear it, eyes flickering between yours.

“I love you too,” you whisper back, cupping his face to pull him down to meet you for a kiss, a sloppy and wet kiss that makes your body tingle. You hum in satisfaction as he moves away from your lips, kissing his way down to your neck. He licks a stripe up your neck and to your ear, tongue flicking at your earlobe. He makes you shiver, his touch soft like a feather and yet rough enough to make you feel them more evidently than anything you’ve ever felt before.

As he works his way down with his lips, your hands are everywhere. On his shoulders, in his hair. You’re squirming under his touch, feeling impatient as he takes his time with you. It’s like he already knows every part of your body as he runs his hands down your sides and up under his T-shirt, that you’ve stolen at some point, pushing it up and revealing your breasts. He pulls the shirt all the way off, throwing it onto the floor without looking. His room is rather cold, making your nipples stiffen. He licks his lips, looking at your chest with hungry eyes. You gasp as he cups your breasts, thumbs running over each nipple. You bite your lip, holding yourself from moaning too loudly. You can’t hold it in as you watch him wrap his wetted lips around one of your hardened nubs, tongue lapping over it and flicking it.

“Holy sh- Jeongguk,” you moan, eyes closing as you arch your back in pure pleasure. He bites onto it causing you to twitch in his grasp. He smirks up at you as you glance down, watching him move to the other breast to give it the same amount of attention. He’s such a tease, you can barely comprehend it in your mind. 

A small tiny moan emits from your lips as he moves further down, lips kissing the skin on your stomach, trailing around your navel and to the edge of your pajamas shorts. He glances up at you for permission which you grant him with a small nod, teeth biting onto your lower lip. He hooks his fingers under the waistband, pulling shorts and panties down your legs. They’re on the floor within a matter of seconds, out of the world and out of the mind of the both of you as Jeongguk focuses his attention on the wetness that has formed between your legs. His dick twitches in his boxers, the sight of you bare and naked in front of him messing with his head.

You whimper as he spreads your legs, revealing your wetness to the cold air of the room, making you shiver once again. He inhales as he lowers his face between your legs, quiet growl leaving his lips. “You smell so good, baby,” he rasps, hands running from your ankles to your thighs and squeezing the soft flesh there, making goosebumps appear on your skin. “Can’t wait to taste you.”

The feeling of his lips against you makes you jolt, your breath quickening as you feel him kissing against your folds. Jeongguk brings a hand up, the other hand gripping your thigh tightly to keep your legs spread for him. You moan lightly as he runs a finger down between your wet lips, loving every second of watching and hearing you squirm beneath his touch. You’re not prepared for the feeling when he spreads your folds with his fingers before diving in, licking up and flicking your already sensitive clit with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh my god,” you moan out, your hand digging into his hair as he licks and eats you out like a starved man. Your breathing picks up as he quickens the pace of his tongue, feeling yourself nearing your high. “D-don’t stop, Gguk.”

Jeongguk hums in response to your words, letting a finger slip between your folds and inside you. You gasp, leaning up onto your elbows to watch him. Your mouth hangs open, a fucked out expression on your face as he glances up at you, lips still tightly connected to your core. “Oh,” you hum, biting your bottom lip tightly, “oh, fuck.”

His mouth leaves your wet lips as another finger sinks into you, pumping in and out at a fast pace. He’s desperate to bring you to your orgasm, lips kissing all over your thighs and lower stomach. “Let go, baby, cum for me.”

Your arms give up, your head hitting the pillows as your first orgasm of the night comes at you with full force – Jeongguk’s goal is to make you cum at least three times tonight but you don’t know that. “Fuuuuck Jeongguk,” you moan, voice high pitched as you close your eyes. Your toes are curling, fist grabbing the sheet tightly as his fingers fucks you through your orgasm. As you come down from your high, Jeongguk removes his fingers from you, your release covering them as he holds them up. You watch him bring his fingers to his lips, licking your cum off them. You whine, sitting up to reach for him, desperate for more.

He chuckles with a smirk, letting you pull him closer by hooking a finger around the silver necklace around his neck. Your lips finally land against his again, a sigh emitting from you as you let him lead you back onto your back again. You can taste yourself on his tongue as he positions himself between your legs, his cock twitching against your core. You can feel how hard he is through his boxers. Your tongue dances with his as you reach down, cupping him through the fabric of his underwear.

He grunts against your mouth, letting your lips go to rest his forehead against your collarbone. Your hand squeezes him causing him to whine lightly. “Baby, don’t do this to me,” he rasps, lips pressing tiny kisses against the skin on your throat. “Need to fuck you.”

You nod, running a hand through his hair and down his neck to his shoulder blade. Pushing at the waistband of his boxers, he gets the hint. He helps you push them down his legs, his cock springing free and slap against his abdomen. You let him do the rest himself. He kicks them off, leaving them to fall onto the floor, long forgotten. He reaches over to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a condom. You watch him rip it open with his teeth before reaching down to roll it onto his sensitive, throbbing dick. You kiss him once he returns back to hovering over you, tongue sloppily fighting against his. Pulling away, he trails kisses to just above your breasts and back up to your neck. His hands are everywhere on you, running over your nipples to your stomach and further down to brush against your still wet, pulsing core. “Still so wet for me, huh?” He hums against your neck, teeth lightly biting into your skin. “Only for me?”

You nod, breathing heavily, “only you, Gguk.”

You can feel his smirk against your neck, shivers running through you at the thought. He lines himself up, leaning up on his elbows to glance at your face. You lock eyes with him, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. He leans into your touch, eyes closing momentarily before he presses a kiss to your palm.

The moment his eyes open again, you gasp. They’re dark, filled with lust and desperation. You don’t get to say a thing before he pushes past your folds and inside, making you moan his name out loud in surprise and pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” you moan, grabbing onto his bicep tightly. He hisses at the mixed feeling of your nails digging into his skin and the sensation of finally getting to be balls deep in you after all these months. He bottoms out, head resting in the crook of your neck as he stays still for a moment. 

“Oh god, you’re big,” you breathe out into the darkness, taking a few minutes to adjust to his size before you tell him to move. He chuckles against your neck, pressing a small kiss there before leaning up to support himself on his hands, looking down to see where you’re connected as one. “Gguk, please move.”

You’re in another world as he pulls out and pushes back in, the force already unlike anything you’ve ever tried before. How is he better and bigger than what you’d expected? 

“Fuck,” he groans, “you’re so tight.”

Your moans become more high pitched for each thrust Jeongguk does, your stomach tightening in just the right way. He sets a steady rhythm, somehow managing to hit the perfect spot every single time. “I love you so much,” you gasp out as he grinds into you, bottoming out in you and filling you to the brim.

He moans at your words, a hand grabbing your leg and wrapping it tightly around his waist as he fucks you harder. “I love you too,” he breathes out against your lips before kissing you hard but sloppily.

Jeongguk man handles you halfway through, unwrapping your legs from his waist and bending them to press against your chest. This angle causes him to hit even deeper than before. “Jeongguk, please fuck me faster,” you whine, moaning. He bites into his bottom lip as he follows your command, setting a faster yet still hard pace. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he hits you deeper for every single thrust, his balls slapping against your ass as he fucks hard into you.

You’re seeing stars as you close your eyes and moaning out loud in pleasure, loving you better than anyone ever good, cherishing your body in every way he can as he brings you to another orgasm. White flashes for your eyes as it hits you, hands digging into his hair and pulling him in for another kiss. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whine against his lips, feeling yourself tighten around him.

This brings him to the edge, low grunts and groans leaving his lips in between sloppy kisses. His last thrusts become even harder as he hits his high, he stills as he cums into the condom. He’s breathing hard along with you, forehead resting on your chest.

“Holy fucking shit,” he sighs deeply as he pulls out before plopping down to lay beside you. He pulls the condom off and throws it into the bin close to his bed. “That was-”

“Amazing,” you breathe out, turning onto your side to look at him. He turns his head, smiling at you. “You’re amazing,” you tell him.

He grins, leaning up to press his mouth to yours in another sloppy yet soft kiss. You peck his lips one, two, three times before resting your head on his chest. Jeongguk wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side. The duvet is pulled over the two of you as you’re slowly beginning to drift off to sleep. You don’t allow yourself to fall asleep before you’ve talked about this whole thing.

You rest your chin on his chest, locking eyes with him. His finger tips are running up and down your naked back, goosebumps rising once again.

“What now?” You question hesitantly, voice soft and careful.

Jeongguk shrugs, smiling softly at you. He brings a hand up to push strands of hair behind your ear. “It’s just you and me,” he softly says, running his thumb across your bottom lip. You kiss the pad of his thumb, making him smile even wider.

“Just you and me?” You repeat.

He nods, “you and me.”

You lean up, pressing a last kiss to his lips before resting your head against his chest once again, this time really falling asleep. Jeongguk lies awake for a bit, fingers still running up and down your spine. Your soft snores fill the quietness of his bedroom and it already feels like this is how it’s meant to be, finally.

The sun is forcing its way through the curtains in Jeongguk’s bedroom causing you to stir in your sleep. You stretch before rolling over onto your other side, coming to face a sleeping Jeongguk. You smile, feeling your chest fill with warmth and love as you watch him sleep with his mouth slightly parted and light snores leaving him as well.

You reach out, brushing his overgrown, curly hair out of his face. He stirs lightly, reaching up to wrap his hand around yours and intertwining your hands. He’s still sleepy as he opens his eyes, dark brown eyes meeting yours.

“Hey,” you whisper, shuffling closer so that you can press a soft peck to his lips.

He smiles, feeling his chest fill with warmth and the feeling of being content and happy in this exact moment. 

It doesn’t even take five minutes before Jeongguk’s is more awake and has you pinned down beneath him. He leans down, lips ghosting yours as he rests himself between your legs. He’s still naked just like you.

“Wanna go again?” He whispers against your lips, pressing a soft kiss to them.

You chuckle, “wasn’t last night enough for you?”

He shakes his head, lips moving further down to your neck and biting into your skin, in the same spot as last night. “It will never be enough,” he hums into your skin. You can feel his dick twitch against your thigh causing wetness to quickly appear in between your legs.

Without another word, you reach down and line him up against your folds. “No condom?” He looks at you, confused.

You shake your head. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean,” you tell him, “aren’t you?”

Jeongguk looks at you in awe, nodding his head. “Of course, I am.”

He leans down, kissing you softly, tongue poking out to ask for allowance. You kiss him back, letting him in, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close. Jeongguk lines himself up again, hand wrapped around the base of his cock. You feel him poking at your folds, stomach tingling in excitement because there’s simply no cock better than Jeongguk’s.

“I love you,” he softly whispers.

You smile, “I love you too.”

Just as he’s about to push himself fully inside, the sound of the front door slamming shut stills him. Jimin’s voice sounds throughout the apartment: “Guys, get up! I’m inviting both of you out to eat breakfast, so you better be ready in five minutes!”

Jeongguk drops his head to your shoulder, a groan leaving his lips. “I can’t believe I get cockblocked again,” he grumbles against your skin, making you laugh out loudly.

taglist; @ggukkieland​ @koonanamilk​ @cloudreads-blog @bringitseijoh​ @lenisqueen​ @crazyboutjooni​ @sugaminh​ @cheerfulmultiez​ @jaykayseagull​ @shubhiixxx @luv-yourselff​ @97z-gcf​ @n4omiii​ @bangtaened-army​ @romeisourstoruin​ @imluckybitches

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts bangtan #bangtan #bangtan boys #cockblocked #bts fanfic #bts oneshot #jungkook oneshot #jungkook fanfic #jeongguk #jeon jeongguk #bts jungkook #jungkook x female reader #bts x reader #friends to lovers au #college au #roommates au #smut #fluff #angst #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jjk x reader

[falling-pages]

Deku-squad protective headcanons

Thank you so much for all the reactions on the Bakusquad and Hawks, Dabi and Shinsou posts 🥺 thought I might as well round out the series!

Featuring Deku, Todoroki, and Iida reacting to a creep catcalling you

Midoriya:

He’s such a sweetie, but is also downright terrifying when he needs to be

He’s been bullied, he’s been harassed, he’s been spat on. He knows exactly what it’s like

If that creep touched you, he will go PLUS ULTRA on his ass

He’s less violent than Bakugou, but just as protective

But he won’t let you watch

Kisses your cheek while you hug him, whispers sweet things in your ear, cries when you cry because he hates seeing you scared and in pain

What good is he if he can’t protect you? How can he be a good boyfriend if you are still scared?

“Please don’t cry, Pumpkin, please...He can’t hurt you. Not when you’re with me.”

Gives you a stuffed animal, covers you in a blanket, and turns on your favorite show

But as soon as he starts to leave you whine, reaching back for him

He cradles you. “Please stay here, Angel, I don’t want you to watch what’s about to happen.”

“You’re so brave. I’ll be right back.”

Within 10 minutes he’s returned, smiley and bright and not looking like he just committed murder

“I’ve ordered your favorite food, cupcake! It’s on the way. Let’s cuddle until then.”

That night you eat and laugh and love until you’ve forgotten the whole thing

He actually ends up crying because he’s so sorry it happened to you. He feels so guilty that he wasn’t able to stop it

He presses you close to him that night, hugging you like a lifevest, and smiles when you whisper his name in your sleep

“That’s right, Cupcake, I’m right here...and I’m never letting you go alone again.”

Todoroki:

You have to hold him back when you tell him

“Shoto, no”

“Shoto, yes”

Is not hesitant to use his fire side this time

Look, he’s Endeavor’s son. He’s intimidating AND has a chip on his shoulder

He kisses your forehead and shoulders past you, whispering something about teaching him a lesson

In his heights of power, you knew he could be as raging as fire or as cold as ice

That creep got them both

Shoto really could be a monster, if he so chose or if someone warranted it

And this guy did

He quietly requested that you didn’t watch, and you were more than happy to comply

The screams were haunting enough

When Sho came back into your apartment, he only mumbles, “It’s done.”

You both eat cold soba and cuddle, watching a movie

You sink into his warm chest, and he holds you tight

Whispers about how he wants to protect you, like he was never protected

You fall asleep on the couch together, holding his head against your chest as he silently weeps

“I’d rather die than let you suffer the way I did, my love.”

Iida:

His first instinct is to reprimand the creep, straight rigid palms flailing

But of course that doesn’t work

So he has to resort to some more violent measures

Blasts towards the guy at the speed of light

Crashes into him like a brick wall

Have you seen Iida? His chest is solid enough to stop a train

Probably karate chops the dude to death

Let’s not forget he canonically conspired to commit murder

And screams at him about being polite and manners

When he’s done, he comes back to you and holds your head tightly to his chest, nearly suffocating you

He’s still trying to get the hang of proper affection

While you’re trying to breathe, he reassures you that he will never let anyone hurt you

Or let anyone even try

You take off his glasses, wipe away the sweat from his forehead

Tell him how grateful you are for him. He needs to hear your sweet voice <3

Holds you like a teddy bear that night, soft wet kisses pressed to your temple

And the next day goes out and buys you a bracelet with his name on it

“So everyone knows you’re mine, my darling.”

-

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #deku #todoroki #iida #bnha #mha #deku x reader #todoroki x reader #iida x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya #shoto todoroki #tenya iida

[tteokdoroki]

what he lost | k.bakugou.

⇝ pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader.

⇝ word count: 5.4K

⇝ rating: for everyone.

⇝ genre: pro hero!au, exes!au, angst.

⇝ summary: back then; he was young, dumb and a little too prideful, taking your love for granted. now, years down the line he wonders if he’ll ever stand a chance in getting you back or the one in which katsuki bakugou grew up a little too late.

⇝ warning(s): please read ! heavy angst, no happy ending, mentions of toxic relationships, emotional distress, mentions of violence ( explosions, fight scenes, knives, blood ) and cursing all around.

⇝ author’s note(s): greetings everyone!! i hope you’re all doing well, today’s one-shot is a request from @killakatsuki​​, i know you wanted a happy ending but i got a little ahead of myself eee !! anyways thank you all for 400+ followers, i love you all :(

⇝ masterlist | requests

“katsuki bakugou if you leave me right now, please... please don’t come back.”

bakugou had always hated that, he thought, casting his gaze elsewhere in the room. he always hated how you cried when you were angry, red hot tears stinging a pathway down the apples of your usually glowing cheeks.

he couldn’t quite place the reasoning as to why. maybe it was because you rarely ever found yourself angry or perhaps it was how pathetic you looked when your bottom lip wobbled and your harsh words were laced with watery sobs.

or maybe it was because he didn’t want to feel sorry for you, didn’t want to comfort you when he was too prideful to admit that you were right. “whatever, don’t tell me what the fuck to do.” he spits, eyes and voice full of a venom he barely ever uses against you. he watches with a scarlet gaze as you falter, as if a knife has dug deep into your heart and cut you all up but bakugou only scoffs and continues to pack his side kick costume into the duffle bag he’s got on your shared bed.

every fibre of his being is tell him to reach out for you and apologise, he knows that he’s wrong. keeping his late night shifts from you, working extra hours— of course you were going to worry but he needed you to understand that being a hero was his dream above all else. the last thing he needed was a distraction like you.

something in you changed that night, both of you. as the rain hit hard on the roof of your shared apartment, even as you took his things and threw them out into the hall and even as you gave him one last chance on the doorstep. “you can leave now and not comeback or you can stay and we’ll talk this through—“ your eyes spoke to him in a silent plead, asking him if he would really give up the life that you’d built for lies and a better job?

but you knew the answer already.

“like i said,” katsuki rolled his eyes as knowing sobs wracked your body. “i never needed you anyways.”

you slammed the door before he could walk away and forget the tears in your eyes.

six years later and katsuki is pissed.

he’d been irritable since this morning when his interns fucked up the paperwork at his agency— leaving him to clean it up and then when his assistant brought him the wrong coffee and forgot to notify him of the pro hero meeting he was currently attending right at this very minute.

of course heroes of all different calibers were present; including none other than the number two, shoto todoroki, who was in charge of directing this week’s patrol missions but something about that only grinds the explosive pro’s gears even more. although, he could see himself being even more pissed if the number one; deku had shown his face instead of being away on an overseas mission. the schedule for this week’s patrol sits heavily in bakugou’s hand and he almost wants to burn it to pieces just at the thought of working with his future partner.

‘yn ln.’

the sight of your name printed in block capitals next to his has the ash blonde reeling, glancing up to send a blazing scowl towards shoto. he feels set up, as if the half hot, half cold bastard is dangling you right in front of him— its not like todoroki doesn’t know the history that sits between bakugou and yourself, after all,  he had been the friend you’d ran off to during the fight that ended your five year relationship.

it’s like todoroki had a sixth sense because by the time he’d finish announcing the pair ups, he’d tiredly caught wind of katsuki’s heated stare. “bakugou—“

“i wanna fuckin’ switch, icyhot.”

“you can’t.”

bakugou stands from his seat next to kirishima ( who only looks apologetically at his colleagues ), annoyance rippling through his veins as he approaches the taller male. “why the fuck not?” he growls, small explosions sparking in the palms of his sweaty hands ( he was undeniably nervous because of the impending patrol ) the group of heroes simultaneously sigh— having been used to the explosive pro’s usual outbursts.

todoroki sighs, running his cooler hand over his face. “because the pairs have been matched up by quirk and strength, on top of that they were done in advance so if you really have a problem with it then i suggest you take it up with the number one—“ the dual quirked hero falls silent, a triumphant smirk appearing on his lips as red riot pulls his friend away before it’s too late.

“dude, you can’t just go blowing people up!” the red head scolds beneath bakugou’s sailor mouth, wrestling him over to the couch.

katsuki feels defeated, there’s no way to get out of this situation. he’s done his best these last few years to avoid you like the plague. it was somewhat easy, considering you were lower in the ranks compared to him, so there wasn’t much time to interact anyway. but katsuki hated the fact that he had always thought you would fall below him.

nonetheless; he took to switching event time tables around, rejecting hang outs with his old high school friends... all to avoid you, and now that he had to see you face to face, he wasn’t sure how to react. would you still hate him? how did you feel about working with him?

there’s not much time to dwell on the thought for kirishima is already patting his back and guiding him out of the meeting as it ends, the promise of drinks at an ‘heroes only bar’ hanging in the air.

“you’re so handsome, ground zero ! thank you for protecting japan !”

bakugou can feel the bile rising in the back of his throat at the words from the sickly sweet fan, so he gives a nonchalant grunt in response as he finishes up his signature on her notebook before continuing his march to your hero agency. it’s been a few days since the meeting between the pro heroes and all the number three wants is to make it to your agency without being fawned over by more obsessive fans.

he gives the fan a casual wave, ignoring the look of disappointment on her face— either she was expecting his number or for him to grow bashful under her flurry of compliments but katsuki was never one for fan service.

he hated fans that expected something from him, ones who wanted more than a casual chat with their favourite pro hero but he wouldn’t let them in. they didn’t want the intimate, vulnerable sides of katsuki bakugou like you had— maybe that made the ash blonde stuck on you.

yn ln was the only girl in his life who had tried to understand the many layers of the hot headed hero, you saw past his aggressive nature and touched the deepest parts of his soul…parts that you longed to love and keep safe.

you’d loved him for who he was below the surface, not for the money and fame he had come to amass as number three in the ranks.

behind scarlet eyes are the best moments of the hero’s life, each shared with you. katsuki had took for granted the seconds you had been with him, even from the very start— he didn’t care for the way that you held him after he’d been kidnapped, clinging onto him like he’d disappear or would never return to your arms, he should have cherished the tears of worry you shed for him too but katsuki was too prideful at the time.

too full of himself even with his raging nightmares that you had managed to soothe.  

you’d comforted him after he’d failed the licensing exams, promised him he’d still get to be the greatest hero of all time and still, bakugou had cared for none of this. now that he’d thought about it, he hadn’t been good to you, he didn’t know how you’d dealt with they way he undermined your quirk and doubted your ability to protect him when he should have been the one to protect you.

your love was wasted on him, and for that bakugou needed to apologise.

hands in his pockets, katsuki’s mind could have been said to be away with the fairies, haunted by the night he came home with a half hearted apology on his lips to an empty apartment and a note from you. something about staying with the icyhot bastard and not to contact you.

that is until he collided with the back of someone in the crowd. “hey!” he’s quick to growl out to the figure, a slight snarl to the words leaving his mouth. “watch where you’re going, shitty extra—“

“ah, katsuki! nice to see you haven’t changed,” your voice sends shivers down the blonde’s spine, bright red eyes focusing on you and only you. your smile is bright, dazzling under the hot japan sun and even if katsuki hadn’t changed, you certainly had— your pretty eyes he used to get lost in, he used to watch glimmer with tears now hold a different kind of light, they greyish hue that dulled you over your time with him had finally cleared.

you looked healthy, happier and bakugou realises how much your relationship must’ve wore you down.

he feels like he doesn’t deserve the grin that you give him; the one you would save just for him in the early mornings you’d spent together back when you were dating. maybe that makes his heart jumps out of his chest.

“y-yn— “

he hadn’t prepared himself for your sweet, airy giggle that fills the space between you. “ground zero getting shy on me now? don’t tell me you forgot about our shift today, did’ya?”

“n-no, ‘course not, dumbass.” fuck, katsuki’s heart thumps against his ribcage so loud that he’s afraid you might hear it with the little distance between you. since when did you make him nervous? despite the pet name, you still give him a laugh as a flicker of fondness twinges in your bright eyes.

it’s quickly replaced when you blink it away, beckoning ground zero into your hero offices. “nice to see that sailor’s mouth hasn’t changed either ,” you mumble more so to yourself than him. bakugou walks a few paces behind you while you explain to him that you have to finish assigning your sidekicks and interns a few low level missions before you can head off for the day.

the group of young heroes are excitable, seemingly loving the opportunity to work with you— their chatter is loud but it gives katsuki time to drink you in.

crimson eyes travel over your form while you talk— your hero costume has changed a lot since your U.A and sidekick days.

you’d interned under the number two at the time, hawks, thus leading you to have become one of his most trusted sidekicks. no doubt; his skill level had not only  improved your abilities, how you controlled your quirk but your costume as well.

your quirk was known as lullaby, if you could sing a tune in the right pitch to certain groups of people, it allowed you control over the abilities and to put them to sleep. this obviously however meant you were poor at short distance attacks— something bakugou always teased you for, so he was excited to see how you’d improved.

your suit had a visor that allowed you to amplify your quirk, while patterns of the night sky dressed your body— paying homage to your hero name ‘nightsky’.

katsuki felt bad to imprinting the image of your skin tight, midnight blue suit into his mind but back when he had known you like you were his, your costume hadn’t been nearly as advanced as this.

snapping fingers pull him from his thoughts before they can get too hazy.

“eyes are up here, explosion boy.”

katsuki’s gaze snaps up to meet yours, an angry red to rival his gemstone eyes spreading like wildfire across his cheeks. “i wasn’t staring.” he tries his best to defend himself, but your knowing look tells him that you’ve caught him red handed.

“of course you weren’t, sidekicks left about ten minutes ago so we can head out  now—unless you want to keep glaring daggers at my boobs, katsu.” you’re teasing him, voice dripping like honey off of a spoon as you waltz back out onto the streets of japan and leave a bewildered ground zero behind you.

you’ve changed so much since your relationship ended with bakugou, you’re stronger, a vixen and more confident in yourself.

and he hates knowing that he’s the one that kept you down all this time.

patrol remains uneventful even as the afternoon goes on and the stress of japan begin to fill with citizens for the oncoming rush hour.

the lack of action has lead your conversation to die within the wind and leaves katsuki alone with his thoughts for the time being— you only really speak when you catch the blonde staring you down or when he accidentally walks into something ( highly unusual for him ) but he enjoys the seconds where your teasing voice tickles the tips of his ears and you smile so wide his own lips pull into somewhat of a grin.

bakugou doesn’t know why he’s so quiet, not when the storm in his mind brews all the words he should have said to you years ago. the apologies, the grateful thanks that you deserved; none of these could fall from his tongue.

he liked to say he never had the opportunity, which was partly true you were both up and coming herores yes, but you had damn well made sure you’d never have to encounter bakugou unless the situation required it. and it seemed, that years down the line, he was still doing the same.

the thought alone cause nerves to choke him from the inside out, building up in his throat until all he can do is grunt in frustration—  kicking an empty can along the road you’re currently walking down.

“that’s unlike you,” your chuckle cuts through the thick fog of katsuki’s mind, drawing deep red eyes towards your frame. you walk in front of him now, arms folded behind your head while you step backwards— the sight almost comical to anyone passing by. bakugou must look just as shocked because some how he manages to pull the cutest snort from you, even as his face morphs into a snarl and he marches forward to fall into pace with your steps. your eyes dazzle with your next words. “the great katsuki bakugou, quiet? never thought i’d see the day.”

you’ve always been able to read him like an open book, seeing right through the front he puts on. “i haven’t changed.” he grunts through his teeth.

katsuki stops walking when you do, now standing a breaths width away from you. electricity jumps between you both, static forming in the finger tips that just barely brush against bakugou’s arm.

your eyes spell it out for him, clear as day, as you finally reach out to touch him. His own close at the brief gesture, the pain from having lost you blooming across his chest.

“you did.” you breathe out,  the warmth of your soft voice making katsuki’s eyes screw shut.

he could never get a lie past you.

“we both did.”

vermillion eyes open, trying to seek you out in the light of the day as bakugou wills and prays that he can say what he needs to right now, to get you back but he doesn’t have the chance as an explosion cuts through the building on your left.

bakugou manages to wrap his arms around you, shielding you from the blast before you hit the ground. the impulse sends you  both rolling down the street, small grunts escaping you until you roll to a halt and end up on top of katsuki— straddling him.

dust and debris surrounds the pair of you, creating a thick smog in the air as sirens and screams sound off in the distance. the explosive hero groans in pain— no doubt with a litter of bruises forming under his suit but he has no time to register the sting properly before he’s noticing you on top of him, smirk on your face, devilish glint to your eye.

you’ve been waiting for some action all day.

you’re gone in the blink of an eye, so you must have a plan. katsuki remembers from high school that you made up for strategy where you once lacked in strength, so it’s no surprise to him that you’re already on the move. meanwhile; you manage to slide undetected through the smoke, moving fast to take out the low level criminals.

it’s only a robbery, but the explosion could have caused more casualties than you would have liked. you trust that bakugou can take care of the civilians and bring them out of harms way as you do your best o sus out the ringleader.

the grey tinted fog that sweeps over the area allows you both to work quickly; neither of you need to say anything, for one it would give away your position and secondly— there’s an underlying trust in one another that the two of you had built up when you worked together while dating.

bakugou, through his end, tackles down the small group of criminals after clearing the area and making sure no one was hurt. emergency services had been alerted and were already on their way, all there was now, was to predict your next movements and follow your lead. he’d never liked being bossed about, but the look in your eye made him believe you knew what you were doing.

you were right, you’d both changed. you might as well have been a better hero than him.

the ash blonde follows the trail of unconscious wannabe villains to your whereabouts, he only knows that they’re unconscious because of your ability to put people to sleep with your quirk— all you had to do was get close to them, which wouldn’t have been hard as katsuki knew first hand that these guys’ quirks weren’t shit.

“it’s almost funny, how you thought you could pull a stunt like this on a day when all of japan’s biggest heroes are in one place,” bakugou’s ears pick up on you teasing the criminal leader with that smooth chocolate voice and he follows it deeper into the air that’s heavy with debris— glad you were able to find him before the smoke cleared. “even with the number one out of town, tsk, you should have known better…”

the hot headed pro spots you, holding the hooded ringleader in a choke hold with only your thighs as you sit on his shoulders— eyes wide with victory.

he recognises the dip in your voice as you adjust your tone to put the guy to sleep and call it a day. you’re powerful, a great pro and bakugou watches with awe while you get ready to take this guy down once and for all.

“so cocky, nightsky— why do you think we chose attack the street you were on?” the guy spits through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to succumb to your lullaby of a voice.

brows furrowing, you decide not to dwell on the criminal’s words before leaning down to whisper. “sleep...” but katsuki’s body comes alive with fear as the villain wannabe jams a blade into your thigh, causing your grip on him to loosen enough for him to throw you to the floor and put a boot to your throat. “oh miss nightsky, you really rely too much on your quirk and not enough on your senses. hmm, i think it’s time we say goodnight, don’t you?” the guy chuckles while you squirm under his foot— the need for air burning sharply at your lungs.

bakugou, who’s remained hidden this entire time feels himself snap— a heavy explosion loading up behind his gauntlets while he launches himself right into the scene. he won’t let you struggle for your life, not on his watch. “GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKIN’ HANDS OFF OF HER!”

he reaches the criminal just before your eyes roll back into your head, an explosive right hook colliding with their cheek and sending them flying down the street.

the ash blonde reaches down to pull you up into his chest, that very same one heaving with laboured breaths; you’re shaking but it’s nothing you can’t handle even with the red lines at your throat.

“you good?”

“better, thanks to you.”

there’s a look that you wear right now, one that katsuki recognises from years of training and running into fights with you— you want to do the move. he nods at you, vermillion eyes lighting up with a bright fire while you grip onto ground zero’s wrists.

just as the villain stands, you kick your feet off the ground and in the meantime bakugou begins to twirl you in circular motions until you’ve built up enough momentum for him to throw you towards the criminal.

you collide with his back foot first, knocking him to the ground as your eyes glow a bright white. “i said, go the fuck to sleep.”

the criminal drops to sleep and you roll to the ground after taking him out. you smile to yourself at the familiar wail of sirens in the background but don’t bother to make an effort to stand up, letting the exhaustion, pain from the wound in your thigh and bruises at your neck finally flood your body.

sitting beside you, bakugou smirks and holds a fist out to you. “still got it,” he gestures between the pair of you, the same signature move you’ve been doing since high school having worked successfully once again.

“still got it.” you look up to the now clear sky, fist bumping bakugou right back.

he’s going to do it, he thinks, he’s going to apologise.

after everything you and bakugou had been through, something in his chest was relieved to know that you didn’t hate him, something in him is lead to believe that you’re going to give him another chance.

katsuki watches you now, an attendant from the paramedics that you called working on patching up the gash in your thigh while you rub a salve into your neck.

despite the pain you must be in; you’re still glowing, still smiling even when fans ask you for autographs or tell you how brave you were during the fight. you’re so genuine, such a ray of sunshine in the world and bakugou can feel himself falling for you all over again.

“Is that all mr. ground zero, sir?” an officer asks, taking down notes for the report about the incident. the hero nods, waving the kid off after giving them all of the details from today. they thank him and he finds himself marching over to you almost immediately, now that you’re all bandaged up.

“walking already, ln? are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

you beam up at the ash blonde, hopping out of the back of the ambulance and rubbing at the tear in your hero costume where the cut is. “it’s good, stings a little but i’ve seen worse on you,” you comment to him, beginning your stride back to your agency.

“and who’s fault is that, dumbass?” a genuine laughter bubbles in bakugou’s throat, albeit raspy, its not a foreign sound to your ears and it makes you laugh along with him.

he knows you’re referencing the many times you’d kicked hiss ass when sparring from high school to your side kick days. back then you‘d have traced every scar that littered his pretty body and told him how much you loved him.

katsuki aids you while you head back to the nightsky agency, you insist that you don’t need help to walk but you’re limping and the explosive pro hero is stubborn as hell— he’s not about to let you get hurt again, even if its physically and not mentally like he had done to you before.

with the lighter mood, memories flitter between you both— you mention how katsuki used to love his food so spicy you would cry and he brings up the time you had given him and kirishima a bout of food poisoning when you’d come up with an alternative to the latter’s cooking. the stories don’t seem to end even as you lean into him more; trusting him again.

“about what i said earlier…” you begin after finally coming to a halt outside your agency building, a scarlet gaze full of fondness lands on you. you turn to face him with the softest of smiles, half chewing on your bottom lip— something he knew you did when you were nervous. “you’re different, to how…how you were back then and it’s good, katsuki you’re so good…”

there’s a breath of silence, only filled by the quiet hum of city traffic where people are travelling to and from home. “i’m glad i had time to become good,” bakugou offers, forgoing the words ‘for you’ and pausing instead. “i regret who i was back then, with you… thought it made you hate me and that you wouldn’t fuckin’ work with me today.”

you shake your head, breaking contact with bakugou to paw at the stupid tears preparing to make their way down your cheeks. “i-i did hate you for a while, after everything…but we were young and dumb and—“ you freeze as the ash blonde wipes a stray tear from your cheek, you not having realised that it’d escaped. “and i’m so thankful to have met you, to have shared a love with you, you taught me so much and that i could never hate you for.”

“yn...i—“ i love you. i’m sorry. i should have loved you better. the words are there, the ones that katsuki always told himself he would say to you if he had the chance but he finds himself frozen and unable to speak. why? why now? when the perfect chance sat right in front of him, the perfect time for him to make it up to you.

to start over.

“yes, katsuki?”

to get you back.

“yn i’m sorry—“

“—guess who?”

a sing song voice full of positivity bursts through the moment while a pair of hands clasp their way over your pretty eyes and hide them away from the world.

bakugou instantly recognises the voice as belonging to none other than his childhood rival and number one pro hero, deku. he seems to have changed— grown taller, green hair shaved at the sides for an undercut.

the ash blonde isn’t very sure what else has changed, but then again they hadn’t seen much of each other as sidekicks, working under different agencies with different missions.

it was only as they started competing for the top ranks that they started to run the same circles— but bakugou had no idea how you would’ve come to know deku since the blonde hated him and you were dating each other for most of that time.

katsuki is just about to tell the green haired idiot to ‘fuck the fuck off’ for ruining his moment when you do the unexpected.

you clasp your hands over midoriya’s, cheeky smile gracing your lips as you attempt to pull them away from your face. “let me think, could it be? izuku midoriya?” relenting to your cheery voice— deku pulls away from you, hands falling to grip your waist sweetly. possesively. horror flashes behind bakugou’s raging red eyes. you turn in his rival’s strong arms, smiling so hard that it delves deep into the apples of your cheeks. “izu ! when did you get back? i thought you wouldn’t make it in time for today…”

“flew in this morning doll, i wanted to surprise you—“ the number one beams down at you and bakugou’s world crumbles when you cut him off while pressing a chaste kiss to deku’s lips right in front of his eyes.

this couldn’t be happening...since when were you and the damn nerd a thing? why didn’t he realise? why didn’t he grow up and try and get you back sooner?

he has no choice but to sit and stare, a dark cloud now sitting over his shattered heart.

all the while, you’re giggling into deku’s lips, fumbling over his hands that pinch at your sides just to get you to gasp enough for him to kiss you more.  the painful ( well, only for the explosive pro ) lip lock ends when you both come up for air and your eyes land on your ex boyfriend.

“ah, katsuki ! you remember deku right? wait that’s a dumb question you were literally childhood friends—“ you start to ramble, mind getting away from you and katsuki barely registers anything that leaves your lips. his crimson eyes lock with the emerald ones that stare right back at him and hurt swells in his chest.

to deku, he must look like a kicked puppy. a weakling. a loser.

all the things he had labelled izuku midoriya when they were kids.

when bakugou tunes back into your excited rambling, his heart cracks even more in his chest. “this green giant flew all the way in from overseas to come home for wedding planning ! can you believe it?”  the answer to your question is an obvious no.

he had no idea that you had been seeing the number one, let alone being engaged to him. the hot headed hero freezes in his spot when you reach down the chest of your hero costume to pull out a silver necklace.

on the end of it, an engagement ring with a tiny emerald in it’s centre.

katsuki bakugou feels sick, bile rising up in his throat. he’d really lost you. really. “...pretty thing that is, congratulations.” he mentions blankly, eyes trained on midoriya once again. you don’t notice, but deku does and bakugou hates the sympathetic, apologetic look that the fucking nerd gives him.

“mhm ! izu put it on a necklace for me because, well you know, i’m clumsy and didn’t want to lose the thing,”

you’re so clueless that it hurts, burning katsuki from the inside out. that should be him. it should be his arms around you, his lips on yours, his engagement ring on that fucking necklace. not deku’s, not anyone’s. the green headed hero beside you seems to notice the distress ebbing away at your ex and tilts your head up to look at him. “doll, why don’t you head inside and change into something more comfy real quick? we’ve got cake tasting in an hour…”

the tail end of deku’s words are drowned out by your happily animated squeal and with a quick nod you press a kiss to his freckled cheek and bounce inside— missing the way bakugou winces at your display of affection.

it’s quiet despite the bustling sounds of the city but neither if them know what to say, even as the minutes pass.

bakugou knows that you’d be better off with deku, he would treat you right and give you the love that you deserved all along. but that didn’t make it any less painful.

“kacchan, look...“ the number one says eventually, green eyes swirling with guilt. “i’m sorry—“

the blonde shakes his head, spitting his words out through gritted teeth. “don’t...just,” fuck, it hurts to breathe. “just…take care of her for me, you got that deku?”

“yeah, of course…”

the pair of childhood rivals don’t have much time to speak after that, for you’re already bounding out of your agency wearing a comfortable mint green summer dress and pair of red sneakers to rival deku’s, despite the thick bandage to your thigh.

“ready to go?” you ask your fiancé, face as warm and as bright as it had once been when you used to look at bakugou. izuku nods, delight dancing in his eyes despite the nervous chew to his bottom lip, before letting you turn to your ex lover. “great ! well, see you around kasuki, don’t be a stranger ! we’ve got to catch up again sometime, alright?”

you link arms with izuku midoriya, your fiancé, after that—walking away and  leaving ground zero in the dust.

he doesn’t know how long he stands there for, heart in his hands even while he comes to the realisation that you hadn’t gone to todoroki that night when you’d left. no, you’d only told him that so it hurt a little less when he found out midoriya had been the one to look after you. you’d lied because you’d loved him.

you lie because you love him.

and it was only now that katsuki bakugou had realised what he’d lost.

#tteokdoroki #bnha #mha #bnha x you #bnha x reader #mha x you #mha x reader #mha imagines #mha smut #bnha smut #bnha imagines #mha angst #bnha angst #mha fanfic #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #izuku midoriya #deku #bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou headcanons #bakugou smut #bakugou fanfiction #bakugou angst #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #katsuki bakugou smut #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x you #deku x reader

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

#bnha 318 #midoriya izuku #BAKUGOU KATSUKI #!!!! #twowy mctwoface #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bakudeku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha