#bpd numb

[ash-muncher]

let me put a towel in my mouth to silent the cries so i dont bother you

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd numb #bpd rage #bpd sad #borderline personality disorder #bpd feels #bpd things #bpd thoughts #bpd life #actually borderline #bpd problems #borderline #borderline thoughts #pain #being borderline #bpd mad #bpd stuff #actually bipolar

[abusedpixie]

𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐦 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

“𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰“

#actually bpd #bpd #bpd blog #bpd feels #bpd problems #bpd things #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #bpd relatable #borderline #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #borderline thoughts #i dont even know #void thoughts #selectively mute #bpd shit #borderline problems #i feel everything #i feel numb #borderline things #bpd splitting #borderline personality traits #borderline blog #borderline feels #borderline personality problems #actually mentally ill #mental illness #mentally exhausted #emotions

[geceninbaligi]

I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

#bpd mood #actually borderline #bpd favorite person #bpd fp #mental health #favorite person #borderline personality disorder #yanderecore #obsessive yandere #i feel numb #i feel empty #brain empty #depressing quotes

[void-aaa]

I don't feel safe anywhere

#bpd #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #borderline personality disorder #vent post #bpd vent #numb #self destruction #social anxiety #bpd thoughts

[honeypleasejustkillme]

with how life has been going this year, i’m contemplating suicide more than ever before

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #my entire life is going to absolute shambles and i feel like a fish flopping out of water.. nothing has gone well this year for me #everything has gotten significantly worse.. to the point of feeling like there’s no uphill this time #i’ve become so numb to life at this point that if one more bad thing happens i’m calling it quits #i’m tired of living like this #i CANT live like this #i physically cannot take any more this year

[s4dgvrl]

Sometimes I wish I could just make myself dissappear.

#life #mood #quotes #tired of life #bpd #heartache #heartbreak #unlovable #hurt #pain #lonely #empty #depression #numb #suicidal #second choice #not good enough #worthless #love quotes #sad quotes #feelings #sadness #heartbroken #black and white #u cant save me #can i just die? #im going to kms #no sleep #never sober #zitat

[borderlinebelle]

🗣️🧠

Has anyone ever taken a stimulant for ADHD and it cured your manic mess but simultaneously erased your creative joyful childlike wonder at the world and your interest in the people you share it with?

💊

Am I cured or broken indefinitely to better suit “adulthood”?

🙃

As I wade through the vibrant and manic mess that was the BEFORE STIMULANTS and I look out onto the starkly dull and muted tones of the AFTERS STIMULANTS… the pendulum swings and I violently and obediently bend with it.

🫡

I can balance my budget now. Proficient in punctuality and productivity. Finishing work projects that used to take weeks? EASY. Calculating and efficient, I am almost unemotional as I smash through barriers that once kept me at a stand still for weeks.

🥇

The counter balance to these super abilities is glaring:

👀

1. I find it difficult to produce an ounce of creativity.

2. I am colder, more calculating.

3. I find empathy over other people’s emotions a far off tingle of familiarity I reach for and only brush.

4. I find even accessing my own emotions to be difficult.

5. I find little pleasure from completing tasks just a dull and far off ✅ that reminds me of pleasure but has none of the organic material.

6. I lack spark behind my eyes.

🗣️🧠

In conclusion, the video I filmed for today’s YOUTUBE launch felt… soulless and lacking. It felt disingenuous. I wasn’t talking to YOU, my mental health friends. I was just … talking.

😪

TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST: I’m unsure how to proceed with the channel, with my content… with my identity outside of MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL … I feel really really defeated if I’m honest. I’ve spent my entire adult life in survival mode and for the first time, on this new medication, I can see dozens of strategies to LEAVE SURVIVAL and CHASE AFTER THRIVE… but I didn’t think it would COST ME… my personality, my creativity, my identity.

🔎🤷🏽‍♀️

Idk but, I guess .. that’s the way with these things. Mental health, medication, stabilization…

🫥

Mental health isn’t “pretty and punctual” so said my producer tonight. It can ALSO be “imperfect and valuable”. Nothing is a perfect science, everyone is just doing their best I guess.

😮‍💨

Fighting your own brain 🧠 daily, hourly, weekly, monthly, yearly is exhausting work. I’m so deeply proud of everyone out there choosing to fight another day. I hope to continue being as brave and resilient as you all are.

🫣

It’s 12:00am. I’ve officially missed the “NEW VIDEO EVERY SUNDAY” standard I set for myself and I have to admit I’m taking it very poorly and I feel pretty defeated, but I had to come let the few who support my cross platform… that I’m sorry I couldn’t get there today.

🫀

Returning to YouTube after being run off by a parasocial making very real threats years ago, has been a delicious dream of mine for so long.

💭

I just deactivated both my Instagram and Facebook as they were both just reminding me of this missed deadline, of this empty channel, of what feels like a failure. In the age of comparison and competition, TO BE A HUMAN IS NOT EASY.

😬

So I’ll regroup, recoup, lean into coping mechanisms, touch base with my therapist + psychiatrist… and keep trying to find a way through.

💙

Thank you for your interest in my content.

🥸

I appreciate you deeply.

🫶🏽

I anticipate that this hopefully … won’t be the end.

🖊️ xoxo borderlinebelle

#BorderlineBelle #mental health matters #mentally drained #personality disorder #actually adhd #stimulants #recovery #personal #embarrassing #i want to crawl into a hole and rest for 100 years #i want to wander away #adulthood is a scam #failure #bpd shit #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #rage quit #numb inside #love that for me #Texas here I come #youtube creator #mental health is health #mental health is messy

[afterglowkatie]

i may not be good at much but i’m great at pushing people away :)

#my one true skill in life #mentally tired #numb atp #so tired #mentally fucked #actually mentally ill #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #tired of it all rn #tired and sad #sad thoughts #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd mood

[hel7l7]

everything feels numb again

#vent art #venting #mixed media #numb #overload #bpd #actually bpd

[ash-muncher]

i love how when i get mad i start shaking really bad lol

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd numb #bpd rage #bpd sad #borderline personality disorder #bpd feels #bpd things #bpd thoughts #bpd life #actually borderline #bpd problems #borderline #borderline thoughts #pain #being borderline #bpd mad #bpd stuff #actually bipolar

[psychotically-empty]

i want to fuck up my life i want to fill this hole in my chest that i have and at this point i dont care i need to get high and fuck up my wrists and god i want to look like my life is ruined.

anything would be better than this hollow feeling i have

#bpd #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd vent #vent #actually borderline #tw depressing thoughts #numb #tw drvgs #tw sh implied #tw self destruction

[firesidefirebow]

Bpd brain be like: give up on your dreams and die

#borderline personality disorder #mental illness #actually mentally ill #actually bpd #bpd #bpd life #writing #numb #the strugge is real #borderline memes #borderline #borderline things #cluster b #bpd memes

[void-aaa]

Have you ever just reached the point where you stop collecting personalities and shut yourself off. Like I stopped being somebody I'm just being nobody, tired and exhausted.

#bpd #quiet bpd #mentally drained #mentally ill #mentally exhausted #anxious #borderline personality disorder #numb #vent post #bpd vent #v.rnt

[its-all-coming-back-to-meme-now]

#INFP #BPD #borderline problems #borderline personality disorder #living with borderline #distractions #numbing #maladaptive behaviors #coping skills

[morbid-barbie]

#damaged heart #you broke my heart #heartbroken #heartbreak #breakup #bpd #love #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #sadness #sad text #broken #heartache #text message #personal #why do i even try #why dont you stay #why dont you love me #depressed #numbness #pain #devestating #gut wrenching #heart wrenching #ex bf #discarded #npd abuse #emotional abuse #ghosted #abandoned

[wishing-for-deathx]

Having bpd is literally the worst thing ever. A mood swing can hit you literally anytime any second of the day. You’re literally at the mercy of this fucking illness. Does it care that two seconds ago you were having an amazing time with your friends? No. Does it care that no will understand why you’re frowning and sitting in a corner when you were literally laughing two seconds ago? No. It doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone. Not one thing. It just consumes you. And makes you hate yourself for being like this because there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing.

#borderline personality disorder #bpd #being borderline #actually borderline #depression #worthless #alone #lonely #not good enough #sad #sadness #numb #empty #my post #heartbreak #unlovable #break up #moving on