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#but i’m confused on if it’s an actual event like it’s something to do with splatfest
cevansbrat0007 · 3 days
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Hello, Duchess
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Summary: Your first encounter with Bounty Hunter, Ari Levinson, goes worse than you ever could've imagined. Takes place directly after the events in New in Town.
Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Bickering, Implied Jealousy, Threats of Violence, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: Special thanks to my creative consultant, @curls-and-eyeliner. Part my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!
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Ari’s P.O.V.
“Can’t believe this town actually has a real live bookstore.” Ari muses as he pulls up in front of the tiny, quaint-looking bookstore. “Fuckin’ wild.” Throwing his truck in park he takes a moment to survey the area, making note of the empty lot.
‘Must not do much business.’ He thinks before climbing out of his vehicle and confidently striding toward the door. Hopefully, the lack of an audience would make things flow a hell of a lot faster. Hell, if you were anything like some of the other women in this town, he’d probably just have to smile and flash his baby blues to convince you to spill your guts.
In fact, he was practically banking on it. Because this wasn’t Ari’s first rodeo – not by a long shot. He’d spent a lot of his life in and out of small towns like Bell’s Creek, which was part of the reason he couldn’t wait to bag his latest bounty and put this place, and its people, in his rearview mirror. Ari reaches for the handle on the door, only to frown when he gets a look at the sign hanging in the window that reads: “sorry, we’re closed”. 
Well, that couldn’t be right. 
He could’ve sworn that when he’d pressed Mrs. Turner, the First Lady of Calvary Baptist Church, about your whereabouts she’d said he’d be able to find you at your shop. Something about your preferring to work instead of resting and rejoicing on the Lord’s day. 
While the bounty hunter supposed he could always try back tomorrow, he was keen to check you off his list. Refusing to admit defeat, he decides to try his luck anyway, only to be surprised when the door opens with a tinkling chime of a bail. 
Confused but also now on high alert, Ari takes a tentative step inside as he looks for any sign of life. “Hello?” He calls out, finally allowing the door to swing shut behind him. Instinct has him reaching for his back pocket, checking to make sure he had brought along his firearm.
Just in case.
“Is anybody here?” He tries again, moving further into the shop. The place is clean and well lit, and boasts rack after rack of books. But what’s most impressive is that there doesn’t appear to be a speck of dust anywhere. “Look, I just came by to–”
“We’re closed!” A disembodied voice sounds from the back of the store. 
“Yeah, I saw the sign, ma’am…” He clears his throat. “But I think you forgot to lock the door, so I –”
“That means get out!”
“So much for southern hospitality.” Ari grumbles under his breath as he continues on his mission to track down the owner of the voice. “Ma’am, I just wanna talk. And maybe–ahh shit!” He curses when his hip accidentally connects with a half-full rolling cart, sending several of the heavier books crashing to the ground. “Sorry!” 
“Did you just break something?!” The voice suddenly screeches. “Don’t make me get my taser.”
“There’s no need for that.” Instead of picking them up, the bounty hunter hastily nudges them aside with his foot. “My name is Ari Levinson, and I’m just here to ask you a couple of questions.”
While this isn’t how the man had expected any of this to go, he’s relieved when he sees a familiar face peek at him from around the corner. A face that happened to be even more beautiful than he initially remembered. Even though it had only been a couple of hours since he’d seen you last. 
Damn! It was as if the image of you in that dress taking up space at the other end of the pew was now permanently imprinted into his brain. He'd have to tread lightly here.
Otherwise things could get complicated. Fast.
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Your P.O.V
“Pretty sure this is what law enforcement calls trespassing.” You sniff, craning your head around the corner to stare at the man who was taking up entirely too much space in the narrow hallway. Sure said man was easy on the eyes, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a little concerned about his apparent inability to read. 
“I can assure you that’s not what this is.” The lawman holds up his palms in an effort to placate you. 
And although you try not to stare, it’s impossible to miss just how big they are – how rough they seemed – with just the right amount of callus. You can’t help but wonder what those hands would feel like on your bare flesh. 
“Then what is it?” You ask, struggling to keep your tone short and clipped as you emerge from your hiding place. The last thing you needed was to have this man thinking you were actually attracted to him. 
If anything, you considered yourself to be curious. No harm there, right? 
“As I said, my name is Ari Levinson. I’m a bounty hunter from just outside Rosewell, New Mexico who also occasionally moonlights as a private investigator.” He tells you, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I just stopped by to ask you a couple of questions. And while I didn’t necessarily mean to intrude, I figured you might appreciate me taking a more delicate approach on account of your relationship with my person of interest.”
Fucking Martin Westbrook. He’d been the bane of your existence ever since you’d first crossed paths back in high school. 
“I know you’re looking for Martin.” Annoyed by the very nature of the conversation, you pick up a box, hefting it onto your hip so that you can carry it out to the sales floor. “But I’m not quite sure how much help I can be.”
You brush past him, inwardly smiling when he scrambles to get out of your way. It was a subtle reminder that this was your shop. And you absolutely refused to be intimidated by him or anyone else. 
“I’m sure whatever you have to say will be plenty helpful.” He’s quick to reassure you as he turns to follow the path you set. “Provided you’re honest, that is.”
“Did you really just waltz into my shop and call me a liar, Mr. Levinson?” 
“I meant no offense.” Ari coughs, scrubbing a weary hand over his bearded jaw. If you were the overly presumptuous type, you might think you’d just managed to fluster the poor man.
Now feeling extra prickly, you drop the box onto the far counter of your cashwrap before turning to face your unwelcome guest. “As you can see, I have a busy day’s work ahead of me. And I was really keen on doing it by myself.” You gesture at the array of other boxes and racks placed around the store. “So if we could get a move on, I would greatly appreciate it.”  
“Gladly.” He gives a brief look around. “Is there some place maybe where you and I can sit and chat?”
“I’d say here is about as good a place as any.” You tell him as you step behind the counter. Bending down, you snag a bottle of cleaner, along with a couple of rags. If this man insisted on being here, then he would just have to deal with you taking care of your business. “I’m pretty confident in my ability to multitask.”  
Nodding along, Ari pulls out a small notepad and pen from his back pocket. “When was the last time you saw Mr. Westbrook?”
You let out a sigh as you begin to spray down your countertops with your all-purpose cleaner. While you supposed you could’ve gone with something a little more industrial, you were partial to the way this particular brand’s products always smelled. 
“I don’t know.” You shrug as you bask in the scent of rose and cedar. “Maybe three, four weeks ago.” 
“Do you happen to recall the day and time?”
“No. Not really. If I had to ballpark it, I’d guess sometime around the 5th of last month.” You move to the next flat surface, spraying it down just like the last.
“You sure about that?” You try not to let it irk you when you see him take a seat on a nearby step stool out of the corner of your eye. 
“As much as I can be.” 
“And did Mr. Westbrook happen to give you any indication of where he might be headed?”
“Nope.”
He’d been nervous though. That much you did recall. By the time he’d come to you that night, your old friend had been well beyond spooked. 
“Did he give you his reason for leaving?”
“We didn’t…” You trail off, taking a moment to scrub at a particularly stubborn sticky spot that’s marring the wood. “There wasn’t really much time for talking.” You’re so concerned with scrubbing that you miss the way the county hunter’s eyes narrow as he studies you. “He just stopped over to say goodbye.”
And to borrow all the cash you happened to have on hand – to the tune of $500. Enough for a bus ticket and a couple nights in a dirt cheap motel.
“Right.” Ari scoffs, admittedly with a bit more heat than he intends. “Not a lot of time for talking.” He pauses briefly to drag a hand through his shaggy brown locks. “Not sure why I didn’t wanna believe them.” 
“Am I sensing a problem, Mr. Levinson?” You hum, tossing your rag to the side in favor of focusing on the rugs. 
“I guess I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he kept you in the dark about his plans.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “In my experience, most men like Martin tend to have loose lips around the women they’re fuckin’.”
In that moment, it’s almost as if you can feel the air go out of the room. Just who the fuck did this knuckle-dragging, mouth-breather think he was?
“Excuse me?” Those two little words are spoken through clenched teeth. You’re so taken aback by his brazen accusation that you can scarcely breathe, let alone think.    
Ari simply quirks a tawny brow at you, seemingly unaware of the danger he’s just placed himself in. Did he not see how close your hand was to that damned stapler? While it was clear that folks in this town had been running their mouths, they’d apparently neglected to mention that you’d also been the star pitcher for your high school softball team.   
“Apologies if I offended your delicate sensibilities, Duchess. But I’ve never been the type to beat around the bush. Besides…” The smug bastard tucks his pen behind his ear. “You have to know that people in this town like to talk.”
Fire simmers hot in your belly, as you come out from behind the register. It takes less than ten  seconds for you to bridge the distance between yourself and the cocky lawman. While you might’ve been taught never to raise a hand against anyone, this man was sorely testing every last bit of your patience.
“I want to make one thing very, very clear.” You hiss once you’re finally standing toe-to-toe with the handsome interloper who, of course, makes no room to get up himself. “I have never – not even once – slept with Martin Westbrook. He’s a friend, you backwoods jackass. Something you clearly know nothing about.” 
“I get the feeling I struck a nerve.” 
And, judging by the newfound tick in his jaw, so had you. Except you had no way of knowing it was because he’d lost a buddy of his own a little while back. 
“And I think it’s about time you got the hell out of my shop.” His piercing blue eyes fly to yours, letting you know that you’d managed to surprise him with your heated dismissal. 
Good. Because this Ari Levinson fella had officially overstayed his welcome.
“Look, Duchess. I apolo –”
“That’s the second time you’ve called me out of my name, Mr. Levinson. And I’m not sure I appreciate it.” You spit as you take a step backwards with the intention of giving him enough space to stand. “Now, I’ve been nothing but amenable to your rather…invasive questions. But we’re done. So, I’m gonna have to insist that you leave.”
Before you decided he’d make a deserving candidate for death by a thousand paper cuts. 
Your pulse continues to thrum in your ears as you watch him rise to his full height – an impressive 6’4 – so that he now towers over you. Perhaps if you weren’t so angry you’d be a little more tempted to allow your mind to wander a little farther into the realm of fantasy. 
But not now. 
Right now, in this moment, all you wanted was to watch Ari Levinson’s sculpted ass walk right out your front door.  
Nodding, the now quiet bounty hunter begins moving in the direction of the entrance. Neither of you say a word as you make that quick walk. In fact, you don’t speak again until Ari’s hand is on the handle. 
“For what it's worth…” He blows out a weary breath. “This wasn’t how I meant for this to go.” His eyes find yours, as if imploring you to see the truth in them. 
However, instead of responding all you can do is offer up a shrug. Which he, of course, takes as an opportunity to keep going. 
“It’s just…the idea of someone like you getting caught up with a piece of slime like Westbrook…” He pauses long enough to open the door and take a tentative step outside. “I guess it bothered me more than I realized.”
His reluctant admission has your stomach tied up in knots, which prompts you to ask the one question you were almost certain you’d regret later: 
“And just what do you mean by that?” You do your best to seem unruffled as you awkwardly brace yourself against the doorframe.
“All I’m saying is that you’re out of his league.” Feeling even more confused, you watch as Ari’s lips curve in a faint smile. “And if you didn’t know that before, well, now you do.” His head dips politely as he turns to head towards his truck. 
“Guess I’ll see you around, Duchess.” You don’t have to see his face to know that he’s grinning. “Oh, and don’t forget to lock up. Might help with all those unwanted visitors you’ve been havin.”
Ari doesn't need to turn his head to know that you're currently giving him the finger. He can feel it. And all it does it make him smile harder.
END 
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scar-lie · 2 days
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Hellooo~ may I know if you will make a part 2 for your story 'Their First Love'?
Their First Love Pt. 2 [Natasha]
Summary : The talk Natasha has been looking for, to apologize and to finally talk to you
Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader
Warningv: Crying
Word Count : 2,876
{THEIR FIRST LOVE PT. 1}
No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know
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It's been weeks since you two broke up—well, not actually since you two aren't a couple—let's just say “since she busted you,” and it still bothers you.
Did you accept her decision? Yes, and you respect it, but did you move on or stop wondering about things? No, definitely not. The thoughts and questions keep you awake every night and mostly distract you from your work.
You kept asking yourself why she chose him. Am I not enough? Or am I doing too much that drives her away? Is there something wrong with me? Or maybe I did something wrong?
The questions keep coming, but there's only one that's imprinted in your head, and it never leaves your mind since you realize it. It's her hair.
You once asked her, "Why do you keep your hair red? You're a spy; you should be undercover, not seen.” At that time, all she said to me was, “Because I wanted my loved ones to always locate me and remember me in the event that they did forget me or split up with me, as winter always follows autumn.
That's when you realize that you're not hers; Bucky is and will always be the winter that always follows Autumn, and you feel such a fool believing that you could replace or at least be enough to be at Bucky's level in her heart.
But at least you try and come close, or at least you thought, but the thing is, what matters is what makes her happy, and she is happy with him; that is what matters to you, right?
“Hey, hey, earth, to Y/N, are you there? ”You snap out of your thoughts when Jess taps your right check, so you look at her with a confused look.
“What? ....sorry what were you saying? ”You asked, gathering yourself and coughing to cover your embarrassment in front of Jess.
“I said, get back to her.” You frown at her, and she giggles, laying her upper body on the couch back while you're in your swivel chair and big table in your office.
“I don't get it,” you mumble, enough for her to hear, and she shakes her head and rolls her eyes with an amusing smile, then puts her iced coffee down.
“Oh my god, Y/N, you're so easy to read, or at least on my side... You're thinking, and I know it involves ‘Natasha’ so just pick up your phone, dial her number and call her, or text her,” Jess said, throwing you your phone. She's been playing some games. You thankfully catch it because if you didn't, hell, you're going to kill Jess if that happens.
“No, she chose him, Jess, not me, so I’m not going to call or text her like a puppy hot on her tail.” You put your phone in your pocket, standing up, seeing it's already 10 and the wedding will start in an hour, and you can't be late.
“Now shut up, and we need to go because we will be late,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes at you, but reciprocates and follows down the garage, getting in your own car, and so does she, and starts the 40-minute drive to the venue.
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On the other side, Natasha has been sulking in her bed for weeks now; she has no energy to do anything, and the only thing that keeps her away from bed is going to the bathroom, bar, or club. Other than that, she's locked up in her room; even Bucky can't even enter.
Since Natasha saw you that day, she can't help but stalk you. When you go to a cafe with her, when you go shopping with her, when you stroll with her, everywhere you go, she's there, getting jealous and feeling regret seeing you with her, and she wishes it was her who's by your side at those moments and not her until she saw you with her at the jewelry shop and decided to approach you or just eavesdrop.
But once she came close, she stopped dead in her tracks. Hearing those words coming out of your mouth, “This is perfect for a wedding band," she quickly turned around and left the mall. You're buying a wedding band with her; were you getting married with her that fast? She questions herself when she locks herself in her room, crying. 
And Bucky heard her crying, and since then, he's been worrying about Nat. As much as he wants to help her and be by her side, he knows forcing her to do something or just go against her will be no better for the both of them, so he constantly knocks on her door, asking if she's okay, even asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. about her, leaving food and a note in front of her door.
But today, he had enough, and he knows the only person who can help Natasha, so he's on his way to have a little talk with you.
And when he gets the information that you're on your way to the wedding, he quickly flies off, overspeeding, and goes to a different route to catch up with you, and when he does, he quickly drifts to block your car with his
But you almost hit him if you didn't hit the break quickly. You scoff and get out of the car when you see Bucky getting out of his car.
“Long time, no see, Mr. Barnes,” you sass at him, folding your arm in front of you and letting him approach you.
“You need to come with me,” he's in his stoic expression, and he proceeds to grab your arm, but you back away and swat his hand, and that's when Jess got to you, worried in her eyes.
“Oh my god, hey, watch where you're going; you can't just stop people like that,” Jess shouts at him, but you stop her with your hand when she's going to attack him.
“Get in your car and go to the venue; I’ll be there in a few.” She wanted to argue, but you glared at her, so she nodded.
“Be careful.” With that, she drives off, leaving you and Bucky alone on the side of the road, and thankfully, there's not much of a car passing by.
“What do you need, Barnes? ”You stand tall, seeing him searching for the right word.
“I—you need to come with me; I wanted to show you something,” he said calmly, but you raised your one eyebrow at him.
“And why would I need to come with you? I barely know you; I don't know your intention; you could kill me or something if I come with you.” Bucky sighs, closing his eyes, then looks back at you, and you see the desperation in his eyes.
“If you're that desperate for me to come with you, why not tell me the reason? Cause I have somewhere to be.” Bucky is annoyed, yes, but he stays calm for Natasha's sake.
“It's Nat; she needs you. I know it sounds crazy, but you're the one she wants, the one she loved and still loves. She needs you, Y/N.” You stay motionless and emotionless; you just scoff at him and roll your eyes at him.
“That's funny, Barnes; she doesn't need me; she has you; you're the one she loves, not me; she chose you. Remember? ”You unfold your arms and take a step towards him, and you give him a sarcastic smile.
“You won Barnes; she's all yours, so whatever shit what's happening to the both of you, I don't care, so don't drag me into your shits,” you said, and you turned around to your car so you could arrive at the wedding just in time, but before you could reach your car handle, he took your arm and turned you around.
“She really needs you, ok... Yes, maybe I’m the one she chose before, but that doesn't mean I still have her heart.” Bucky sighs, not wanting to be the one saying this to you, but he guesses he doesn't have any choice.
“Natasha suffers enough; she gets confused when it comes to these feelings, making her go back and choose the things she’s familiar with, meaning getting back to me. She longs for the short times she has before, where our love gets ripped away by the organization we're in, making her choose the wrong decision.” It hurts him to admit that the love of his life doesn't love her anymore, but he knows that seeing her happy in your arms is better than seeing her forcing herself to be happy with him.
“She loves you so much, Y/N. She may have confused her emotions, but her love for you is already carved in her heart.” Then suddenly his phone vibrated, and seeing that it's an emergency mission, he smiled at you and reached for his back pocket.
“She’s you're Y/N; she always had been.” Then he took your hand and put the key in it.
"It's her key…..she really needs you.” He gives you a small, sad smile, then turns around and gets in his car, then drives off.
“You just roll your eyes and get in your car, hooking the key he gave you in the rearview mirror, and drive off.
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Natasha sighs and sits up on the bed, realizing that sulking, being lazy, and sleeping with strangers will get her nowhere, so she stands up and takes a shower, leaving the man still sleeping on her bed. He was supposed to leave hours ago, but Natasha doesn't know what happened to her when she let him sleep here on her bed. All she knows is that his hold feels like your arms, or maybe she just thought about it.
Showers were taken longer than they usually are, but she did have a decent shower and change into fresh, comfy clothes, a loose shirt, and sweatpants, putting on a little makeup so her face wasn't as pale as it looked, and that's when she heard a knock on her door, so she groans and goes out of the bathroom, seeing the man in her bed is already awake.
“Go get dressed and get outta here,” she said, emotionless, and another knock again.
“I’m ok, Bucky, you don't have.” She stopped when the person knocked, got in, and looked around until her eyes landed on Natasha and the man who's getting dressed.
And Natasha is shocked to see the one person she least expects to knock on her door and come in, but when she pinches her arm and it hurts, she knows it's real. It's you, standing in your white, above-the-knee-fitted formal dress.
Her heart fluttered, and the butterflies were dancing around her stomach. Her joy was on top of the mountain. She saw you again, and you're the one who came to her.
"Guess, I came here for nothing. Sorry for interrupting. Have a good day.” With that, you quickly shut the door shut, scoffing at yourself, thinking you shouldn't have listened to Bucky. 
On the other hand, Natasha was confused, but when she realized what was happening, she quickly looked at the man who's putting his pants on and looked at herself in the mirror, a hickey on her neck and wet hair.
“Shit shit shit,” she cursed and quickly ran behind you to explain.
"Y/N, wait, please, let me explain.” She then took your arm, stopping you and turning you around.
“Explain to me that you're doing fine and fucking other people because you and Bucky didn't work out? Don't worry, I get it. I shouldn't have listened to your ex. Now I have wasted my time. I should probably go so you two can continue and I can catch up to the wedding. Have a good day, okay? ”Natasha was confused, and she didn't catch up with what you said, and whatever was on her mind was only Bucky, listen, continue, and Wedding, ‘Were you marrying her today? ’
“Wait what? No, no, no, wait, hold on,” she said, then again stopped you and blocked your way to the elevator.
"First, what Bucky told you; second, that man meant nothing, I swear; and third, the wedding? At what wedding were you getting married? Now? With her? ”You roll your eyes at her, then the man gets out of her room and walks past you two, and he kisses her on the head, making Natasha cringe and try to pat off the kiss he gave her.
“Last night was amazing; maybe we could go out sometimes.” This makes Natasha feel disgusted, and of course you heard it, so you roll your eyes and go around Natasha.
“Get a room, for god sake,” you say, then stand tall, waiting for the elevator after you press down.
“You're just jealous,” he spat back, and Natasha slapped him hard.
“Trust me, I’m not, and please make sure your dick is properly placed in those pants, and please wear underwear for god sake.” Then Natasha pushed him to the stairs, just to get him out of here.
“Leave now or else,” she said with gritted teeth, motioning her thumb from her left neck to her right, and he gulped, knowing she's capable of killing him without hesitation, and that's when the elevator door opened with a ding.
"Well, nice seeing you.” You enter the elevator, and Natasha quickly stops the elevator door and gets in. She was supposed to drag you out so you two could properly talk, but the door closed before she could walk out with you.
“Ok, ok,” Natasha sighs, and she turns around to look at you, where she finds you looking down on your phone, texting someone.
"Hey,” she tried to get your attention, but you didn't budge, so she took your phone and turned it off.
“What! ”You sigh with annoyance, looking up at her.
“Can you listen to me, please? ”Natasha begs, and you pinch the bridge of your nose and press the open door button, but Natasha unpresses it and stops the elevator, putting it into emergency
“You listen whether you like it or not.” You then press your back against the wall. Not much of a choice, you just stayed silent, your hand inside your pocket. 
“Thank you,” Natasha then sighs, getting nervous, and this is not what she imagines getting nervous for the first time.
“Ok, first, I’ll tell the truth. Yes, we had sex last night, and yes, he slept the night in my room, and yes, I’ve slept with a couple strangers the past few days or weeks, but I swear it means nothing.” You then cross your arm in front and look at her in the eyes; that made her feel so small.
“It's a one-night stand, nothing else, and for Bucky, well, he broke up with me. Why? Well, he said that my heart doesn't belong to him anymore; it belongs to someone; that someone's you, and he's right.” Natasha wants to take your hand, but it's hidden, so she rests her right hand on your arm.
“When he left, that's when I realized that I want you, that I love you, that when I’m looking for the future, you're there, you're always on my plan, on my dreams in every single one of them, and I also realized that I was being unfair to you when I just dropped you out and to Bucky when I’m still clinging to my past, where I’m too familiar and afraid to enter something new again, something I’m not familiar with, something I’m not good at, and I’m sorry for that.” tears running down her cheeks while she bites her bottom lips to suppress her subs, then she kneels before you, clinging to your right leg.
“Please forgive me. I-I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.” Natasha can't help but sob and cry on your thigh.
“Please believe me, I tried to contact you, or... or co-come see you... I tried.” Natasha keeps repeating the same word over and over again.
“Get up,” but Natasha didn't; her knees were weak.
"Romanoff, get the fuck up; you're making yourself look foolish.” You nudge her gently, but she shakes her head.
“Forgive me, please forgive me, please come back.” You sigh and palm your forehead, careful not to ruin your makeup.
“I don't know, Ok, I am moving forward, so, I don't know it, Romanoff, so get up and fix yourself; I need to go and catch up on a wedding.” Then you simply get away from her and pull off the emergency button and help Natasha on her feet, then wipe her tear with your handkerchief, making Natasha lean on your touch.
“I’ll contact you,” you whisper, and then the door opens, so you exit the elevator, go out to take your car, and drive to the venue.
As much as you want to be hard and cold to Natasha, there's always part of you that makes you weaker around her; she always makes your guard down and makes you vulnerable; you feel safe around her, the feeling you've been craving since you were little, and it took every willpower you have to be tough and cold-hearted towards her.
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gh00stic · 1 month
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I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. I CANT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE GOOGLE TRANSLATION FROM THE ORIGINAL TWEET, IM WAITING FOR A ENG TRANSLATION- WHAT ARE YOU????
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freakystinky · 4 months
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the way tumblr talks about medicine makes me wonder how many of us here actually have critical thinking skills
#stop trying to explain shit you know nothing about so you can frame it negatively for clout!!!! literally knock it off!!!#there are so many valid opinions but i don’t understand this and therefore it’s bad “ is NOT one of them actually#fuck it’s far from perfect but seeing people talk about people I work with every day as if they’re monsters is honestly so tiring#it’s just all over my dash#if you read something and it confuses you and that makes you angry#the solution is NOT to make a tumblr post flaming it with all of your misinformation and undereducated opinions#“it is batshit to base dx criteria on statistics “ NO IT IS NOT NO IT IS NOT NO IT IS NOT ARE YOU STUPID???????#THIS IS STEM LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS MATH WHAT THE HELL DO YOU M E A N ?????#literally like!!! 90% of dx criteria involves statistical probability!!!! doctors prescribe statins because you are statistically likely#to develop heart disease or endure a major cardiac event#like they calculate your disease risk based on averages and so so so much data and math and shit THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!!!#so why are you complaining about it as if you do!!!!!!!!#sorry. I know it’s in good faith for the most part but. it feels like straight entitlement to constantly complain and dog on doctors#I’m a victim of medical malpractice!!! i still show respect and understand that they’re individuals. people. human beings.#who are largely trying to help others#regardless of my personal experience with others in their field#sorry this is just a vent now#i love research I love science I love medicine please stop hating on every aspect of it and my community ty#delete later#not fandom#stinky speaks
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Damn whatever force of nature controls time must have a personal grouch or smth against me wtf-
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our-aroace-experience · 3 months
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My mom is approaching 70 and is in what I can only describe as a Queer Platonic Relationship. My whole life my mom has been ambivalent about romance, and I suspect that if she were young today she’d describe herself as aro. She and my dad were happily married before he passed away, but even so, I don’t really have memories of them being over romantic. Their friends and and family didn’t believe them at first when they announced their marriage (when she was 36!) bc they “didn’t act like a couple”. They worked well as partners and both wanted kids, but there was always something different about their relationship compared to the relationships of my friends’ parents. Since my dad’s death she has shown zero interest in getting remarried and has been happily single for more than a decade.
My mom has an incredibly full life. She’s got lots of friends of all ages, fulfilling hobbies, and a shitty little dog that she loves to pieces. I never worry about her being bored and lonely.
She has this neighbor in her apartment building. They help each other out the way couples do with tasks like grocery shopping, attending family events together, and they co parent the shitty little dog, but she swears up and down that there’s nothing romantic between them. They help each other with medication, hospital visits, and navigating the scary changes of getting old together. She and my grandpa used to argue about her getting remarried to this neighbor bc he didn’t want her to be “lonely”. My mom insisted that she’s not lonely and the relationship was not romantic. There’s love and companionship, but it’s “not like that”.
Back when I started to show interest in dating as a teen my mom was so confused. “You actually want to go on dates? My mom used to force me to date and I hated it.” When I came out as gay as an adult she was like “That’s cool. I still don’t get why you wanna date people.”
My dad once told me a story about how early in their marriage, my mom once accidentally “dated” a different man without realizing that he was taking her out on dates. From her perspective she just was having fun outings with a friend. When the guy “came clean” and told my dad “I’m dating your wife” he just laughed because my mom had been excitedly telling him all about their “dates”. She missed every single clue that this guy had been laying down for her that he was interested. “He invited me to have breakfast on his boat! I’m so excited for the birdwatching that time of day!” (My mom also might be a little autistic but that’s neither here nor there). She just is not a romantically inclined thinker.
I love my mom very much and I’m so lucky to have her as a role model. She’s taught me that happiness is extremely versatile. You don’t have to follow a traditional set route for a complete life with meaningful relationships. Romance is a social construct as much as anything, and you are free to engage with it on your own terms. Don’t be afraid to live and love the way you want to. Your life will be fuller and happier for it.
I’m so happy you’ve had a positive experience, and your mum sounds lovely!
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neil-gaiman · 3 months
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Hello Neil, my name is Zalean. If you have a few minutes, I wanted to tell you a little story. Not really a question and I’m not sure how to use tumblr but I wanted to say thanks so much for coming to Florida a few months back and talking with Art Spiegelman. It was my first time ever figuring out how to buy tickets for something. I lived in, middle of nowhere, Vermont for most my life and had no idea what I was doing, I had never been to anything before, nothing had made me excited enough to do the 5 hour drive. And then you just appeared 20 minutes away from where I am living now.
See, I was just starting to get to know your books and work because I fell in love with Good Omens so deeply when I discovered it during season twos release. Funny thing is, I knew of you all along without even realizing it, Stardust has been my favorite book and movie since I was a kid because it was my dad’s favorite story. Finding out my two favorite things were actually connected, I started trying to get hands on as many of your books as I could. I hadn’t read in years before finding your books. It was eye opening.
The talk event at the Dr.Phillips Center was sold out by the time I knew about it, someone had asked me if I knew of the event when they saw my Good Omens keychains my mom had made me. I called the box office because there is no harm in asking. I explained how I’m an art student at UCF and desperately wanted to be inspired and learn from you both. The customer service people were amazing and ended up calling me back to get me a seat in the orchestra pit before they were released to the public. I drove alone, I walked there alone, I sat alone, and it was worth it. I was so thankful to get a seat and grateful to my professor who was a bit jealous he didn’t know about it but let me leave class early to go because of course the art professor would be understanding for any learning opportunities in the arts. And it was truly wonderful, it seemed real and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want a show. I just wanted to hear, in some sense, that you were like everybody else. I brought a notebook and pen for any information or story’s that I thought made a difference to my little life. The other people around were wonderful, you inspire kind people.
Like I said, I had never been to anything like this and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know you would have signed books and I only found out because the people next to me came in late. I asked them why they brought the books after it was over and the lights turned on. They did look at me like I had three heads for a moment until they realized I didn’t know there were books to buy, they looked kinda sorry for me but they were so nice. I had never really thought about the importance of someone’s scribble before this but it’s something that proves you were there. It says “Remember when this person made you happy? Remember when they changed your life? Remember when they gave you hope? Look at this and remember.” I hope to see David Tennant and Michael Sheen to get an autograph now that I understand the meaning behind it a bit more but honestly I just love diving into everyone’s projects, the wonder you all create. Oh what fun it is to live a life full of stories!
The people that were sitting next to me let me look at their signed books and hold them. I flipped through some of the big ones, handed them back and expressed my gratitude just to be in the theater. I showed them all my little quotes I wrote down, I never want to forget why I create things and you say so much about never stopping, always creating. Then the women handed me a different book, a smaller book, but when I tried to hand it back, a bit confused, she softly placed it back in my open hands and said “I want you to have it, we have plenty and I want you to love these stories just as much as we do. It’s just starting for you, I want you to remember who started it”. The book she handed me being“The Ocean at the End of the Lane”. The first book I decided to read by you and had just finished a week before. The women had no idea she given me a signed copy of the book that made me want to read again. Your books make the world better. For such a big theater and such a big stage, I just wanted to tell you my little point of view.
The story you told about wishing you enjoyed the past more than you did, I hope you get to enjoy it now, and I hope you want to. And thank you, to you and to Terry Pratchett for creating something special. I convinced my dad to watch Good Omens with me over December break, he loved it.
I forget sometimes that everything is someone's first time, and then I read something like this and feel like I need to remember that better. I'm glad the people beside you were kind.
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mysicklove · 3 months
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Summary: Yuuji has a bad day, and all he wants is for you to make him feel better <3
Warnings: cheesy/sappy writing!!!!!! like so cheesy. I can't help it. he makes me sick. slight dom/sub dynamics (reader being dominant), suggestiveness/talks about sex, kneeling + praise heavy, aged up! character! gn! reader
Wc: 2.0k
A/N: i saw this in my drafts and just wanted to finish it up before starting my other wips. i am lovesick with him, do not mind me. i am actually embarrassed at how sappy this is
art here! by @mpsql - super super super cute!!! <333
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Yuuji was exhausted. It was just one of those days that seemed to drag out – the watch Nanami gifted to him seemed to tick as slowly as possible. Nothing was going his way, and although he never made a fuss to the people around him, he still was frustrated by all the events. 
But now he was home –  he didn’t have to worry about those things anymore. He could crawl up to you, and with the gentle caress of your fingers through his hair, he was bound to be left thoughtless. Or maybe you would touch him tonight – he has been good, so he doesn’t suppose that it was out of the question. 
He takes a deep breath, snapping out of his thoughts – getting a hard-on would not be appropriate right now. The man opens the door to your shared apartment, mumbling out a greeting and scanning the room. He calls your name, setting down his bag and walking toward the living room. You pop your head out of the office, wearing your blue light glasses. “Ah! Welcome home, love,” you call, smiling at your boyfriend, “I am doing some work right now, but dinner is in the oven. You are welcome to eat it without me. Gotta finish this!”
He doesn’t say anything, but a frown pulls at his lips. Suddenly, he feels his previous emotions resurfacing just from the sound of your voice and the familiar warmth of his home. Itadori pads over to you, ignoring the wafting smell in the kitchen until he stands directly next to you. Then, he grabs the back of your rolling chair and flips it away from the screen. You blink at him in surprise, being torn away from your work. “Yuuji?”
His lip wobbles at the concern in your voice, and the boy immediately falls to his knees in front of you without a word. He presses his head against your clothed thigh and wraps his arms around your waist. “Just….bad day.”
You frown at him and place your hand on his head, gently petting him. “Poor thing,” you coo, and his whole body shivers, but he nods into your leg. “Do you want me to do anything for you?”
He thinks back to his previous idea: sex. Something that he was opposed to, but now, in the moment, he didn’t crave it as much. He wants your touch –  he always does, loving physical affection more than anything, but maybe tonight, it didn’t need to go below the waist. He was content just being close to you.  
“No. But, can I stay here?” Itadori asks, voice soft and barely above a whisper. He was content in this position, finding that it strangely made him feel small, and your words made him feel safe. 
You cock your head to the side, slightly confused. “Kneeling? You might get uncomfortable.”
He blinks at you, shaking his head stubbornly. “No, ‘s fine. Like it down here.”
You grin at him, now using both hands to rub through his hair and gently massage his scalp just the way he likes it. “Does it have anything to do with what you are facing?”
He eyes at your crotch for a split second and then looks up at you, a small pout on his face. “‘I’m not some perv, you know.”
“Just teasing you,” you sigh, ruffling his hair slightly. “Anyways, I have to do work, Yuuji. I can’t keep petting you.”
He yawns into your leg and sighs. “It’s alright. I’ll sit and be quiet.” Then, he closes his eyes, cheeks pressed against your thigh, content. 
You face back toward the computer screen, not paying attention to the boy who seemed to be pressing himself impossibly closer to you. Ten minutes go by, and you are more than surprised to not hear Yuuji’s usual light snore. He tended to fall asleep pretty easily, so it was shocking that he was awake right now – you dont comment on it, letting him rest his eyes.
But his silence doesn’t last much longer than that. His dark eyes peer open, and he glances up at you. His voice is soft, as if afraid that you will be upset at him for distracting you. “Can you do the thing?”
“Hmm?”
“Where you uh…compliment me.” 
Your eyes flicker to him, and you notice the tips of his ears turning a shade of red. “You want me to praise you?”
He readjusts himself on the floor nervously, but nods his head. A hand returns back to his head and the boy seems to melt at the touch, eyes already fluttering shut again. “Well, I suppose it’s not hard to. I could list about fifty things I love about you without even thinking about it.”
He gulps, face now a bright shade of pink, and sighs into your pants. “Me too.”
You trace the tips of his ears with your pointer finger. “Cute,” you say, smiling at him as your computer screen darkens with its lack of use. “Hmmm. Where do I begin?” you ask yourself rhetorically, and Yuuji waits in silence, trying not to buzz with excitement. 
He readjusts himself on the floor, pressing more of his muscled frame on top of your lap. It reminded you of a great dane trying to be a lap dog, because they believed they were the size of a chihuahua. It’s cute, and you didn’t mind his extra weight. “Well, I guess I could start with how kind you are, but that sort of a no-brainer.”
 “’s not,” Yuuji mumbles into your pants.
“No? I disagree; everyone knows Yuuji Itadori is kind. It’s been like that since high school and probably before that. The boy who makes everyone feel comfortable. Who radiates warmth, light, and happiness. Y’know, you could easily compare to the sun.”
Yuuji squirms in your lap, making a small noise of complaint. “Now you are just exaggerating.”
You beam at him, shaking your head. “I wouldn’t lie to you.” Your fingers ghost over his lips before he tries to argue again, and he remains quiet at the gentle warning. “I think you are very pretty Yuuji.”
You use both of your hands to cup his face, rubbing your thumbs against his cheeks that were warming up steadily. He wants to complain about the word choice, but he finds himself remaining silent, finding the compliment strangely endearing to him. He has been called handsome before, hot even, but pretty was not common. You preferred to call him cute most of the time, which he has grown to love even if most men didn’t. 
You lean down and press your lips to his hair. “Your hair is pretty, soft, and easy to pet.” Then you move down to his eyes, kissing at the scars beneath them and his eyelids when he instinctively shuts them. “Your eyes are pretty, a warm shade of brown, or maybe an amber color?”
He squints at you, one eye remaining shut from where your thumb pads just below it. “I just call them brown.”
You pout at him. “Aw, you're no fun! They are much more than brown, and you know it. Now, your nose.” You peck the tip of it, and he blinks at you, waiting for what you are to say next. “Hmm, I guess I don’t have too much to say about it, but it is really cute.”
“I like your nose a lot,” Yuuji interrupts, and you bark a small laugh. In return for his remark, you teasingly press your thumbs into the corner of his eyes when you catch him staring at it. He shuts his eyes with a whine, trying to pull away.
You breathe out another laugh and then move your fingers again to trace his skin, peppering it with small kisses. You go back to complimenting him. “The prettiest skin, with the cutest scar beneath your eyes.”
“Dont remind me,” Yuuji grumbles, thinking about his time with the curse. He was exorcised a while ago, and Yuuji can safely say that he enjoys being able to think for himself once again. Plus, the flirty comments about you from the king did not sit well with the boy.
He shifts on the floor again from the thought, and you frown. “Are you sure you don't want me to grab you a pillow for your knees?”
When you try to stand up, he simply presses more of his weight onto you – successfully pinning you to the chair. He looks at you with a small pout, “I said I was fine. I was comfortable in that position!”
You pinch his cheeks with a teasing smile, ignoring his small whines of protest. “So whiny. I just want to make sure you dont get bruises on your knees. Could lead to some misunderstanding, hm?”
He looks away, rolling his eyes but smiling again. “You have a dirty mind.”
“Y’know, I can’t help it when it comes to you.”
His cheeks flush again, and he groans into your pants. “Please dont tease me. You know how easy it is for me to get turned on.”
Your nails drag over his neck, and he does a full-body shiver, while he hides his face in your leg again. But you continue running your fingers over his shoulder and down his back. Then, you tilt his chin up to look at you. “Dont hide. I am not done praising you.”
“Sorry,” Yuuji mumbles, trying not to gulp at the way your thumb drags over his lips. He keeps looking away, but also leaning closer in hopes that you may kiss him. It was so easy to in this position.
“Did I compliment your whole face already?” you ask, knowing the answer. You have kissed and praised every facial feature except for his lips. 
He was waiting for you to finally kiss him for real. Your lips grazed every part of his face except his own. So, he shakes his head and blinks at you. “Uh, you haven’t said anything about my lips yet…”
You cock your head to the side, frowning at him. “No? I am sure I did.”
You were teasing him – he knew it. You knew that he wanted you to kiss him, and you were being purposefully cruel. But, Yuuji was known to getting straight to the point. “Please kiss me now.”
A laugh falls from your lips at the whiny demand, and you shake your head with a grin. But, you listen and lean forward and peck at his lips. Yuuji pouts at you, furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head. It wasn’t the type of kiss he wanted, and the both of you knew that. “You were so nice earlier. Why are you teasing me now?”
Your thumbs rub at his eyebrows, smoothing them out until he relaxes them. “You make it too easy.”
“Can you kiss me for real?” Your thumb continues to rub at his lip, and you stare at it, waiting. Yuujis face was flushed from embarrassment, and his tongue runs over his teeth before he says, “Please?”
And with that, you smile at him and gently press your mouth to his. This time you dont pull away and instead let Yuuji lead the pace. He, like you expected, nearly pounces on you, tilting his head up and placing his hands on the back of your hair. He makes a small moaning noise and pushes himself closer to you until his knees hover above the floor so that he can reach your mouth more easily.
You are the first to pull away, and he tries to follow you, chasing the trail of saliva connecting you two. Pants leave your mouth, and you laugh breathlessly as he obviously waits to kiss you again. You lean back in your chair, and to this, Yuuji leans forward, now resting his arms on either side of your legs.
The action makes you raise your eyebrows, and you gently squeeze his cheeks together, shaking your head. “You are quite spoiled.” 
He frowns at you, upset that you dont want to kiss some more. “Not spoiled enough,” he mumbles, and at this, you laugh while he continues to pout, even when you let go of his cheeks.
Your hand goes back to tracing the skin on his face, and Yuuji leans into the touch like he is some sort of cat. “Is there anywhere else you want me to praise, Yuuji?”
The comment was meant to be lighthearted, hoping that you could compliment something he was insecure about. But, the boy, in return, pauses for a moment and looks at you with wide puppy dog-like eyes before slowly dragging his hands down his body until his hands touch his crotch. He gulps and says, “I think, um–I think here needs some attention too…”
Your lips curl up in a grin. “Aw, I thought you said you weren’t a pervert?”
He thinks back to what you said earlier and lets out a small laugh. “Y’know, I can’t help it when it comes to you.”
Your lips are back onto his in an instant. It always ends up like this: Yuuji says that maybe he didn’t need sex tonight, but somehow, one way or another, the two of you end up in bed together. He didn’t mind it one bit.
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taakitz · 19 days
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ATLA (zukka….) au where everything is mostly the same except that the phrase “friend of the Avatar” is a euphemism for being gay, a la the phrase friend of Dorothy
(the phrase started towards the start of the 100 year war because in this universe Avatar Roku was some flavor of gay, then Sozin canonically banned gay marriage after their situationship went downhill. so people had to be more subtle about communicating their identities, something something something, the phrase became semi-commonplace throughout the fire nation and later the earth kingdom. maybe it started even earlier because of bi queen kyoshi. who knows!)
miscommunication and self-discovery ensues throughout the events of ATLA:
early on into his banishment and search for the avatar, Zuko runs into someone who casually mentions that they’re a “friend of the Avatar” and he’s immediately like “THE AVATAR IS ALIVE? WHERE ARE THEY. TELL ME”
…he learns a new phrase that day! perhaps he didn’t even know gay people existed until that awkward encounter (bc sheltered fire nation royal.) maybe he does some self reflection at this point, or perhaps he puts off his sexuality crisis in favor of his avatar hunting mission. who’s to say?
(the next time he hears someone say they’re “a friend of the avatar” he asks if they’re gay or if they actually know the avatar. you know, just in case they actually do.
….and the next time after that, too.
but after that he catches on pretty quickly that, no, it’s REALLY just a turn of phrase, and he does not repeat the mistake again.)
+ early into the series events sokka runs into some confusion when he mentions to a stranger that he’s a friend of the avatar while aang isn’t around—
sokka: hey so uhh i’m actually a friend of the avatar… think i can get a discount for that??
kindly ally shopkeeper: oh! i love that for you!! you know, i have a cousin who’s gay, real swell guy. anyways about the discount—
book one sokka, canonically sexist and with perhaps a fragile masculinity: what wait a sec, IM NOT GAY??????
shopkeeper: oh that’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself or put a label on it to me (:
(sokka does in fact get a discount.)
he walks back to katara who was waiting for him and overheard the whole conversation, and she says “you know, sokka, it’s fine if you like boys.” sokka responds as you’d expect he would at this time.
(some amount of time later, sokka comes up to katara and aang very nervously and says “hey guys. i think i might. um. be a friend of the Avatar.”
and aang, confused but enthusiastic, goes “aww buddy, we’re already friends!!!!”)
at some point they’re fighting Zuko and during a back-and-forth exchange, Sokka proclaims “i won’t let you hurt him, the Avatar is my friend!” or something to that effect
Zuko, who has learned from his past mistakes in misconstruing this phrase, says “love is love. but your sexuality will not stop me from capturing the Avatar”
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volensnolenss · 6 months
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Just want you. Only you
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𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: Gojo’s declaration of your need and love;
𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽: sfw! fluff, drunk and lovesick Gojo, he calls you ‘sweet’, ‘cute thing’, and etc;
𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: yeah, I’m slowly returning to the previous graphic of posts
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“Why did you break the vase with flowers?
“Such beautiful flowers should be held by a beautiful girl like you.”
“You can't drink, Satoru, do you know?” You held Gojo's forearm while his legs dragged him to the car with difficulty.
“And what? What's the difference? You are near – this fact pleases me, my little cute thing.”
“Oh, Satoru, hush.”
A crooked drunken smile turned to you, to which you grinned and shook your head. It was interesting for you: does he become serious only when it comes to students and the higher-ups ? Or are there other cases?
“Are you going to take a taxi yourself or?...” You startled when you felt his head on your shoulder – in such a short period he managed to fall asleep.
Anxiety began to gnaw inside you. You can't leave him alone in any case, so you sat down next to him.
You stared out the window, watching him through the reflection and listening to his snuffling, in which a few slurred words slipped through.
All evening, he kept his eyes on you and tried in every way to conduct a dialogue as long as possible, but you were constantly distracted. Gojo casually tucked your curls behind your ear or straightened your dress to at least touch you a little.
The silence was broken only by Shoko's call, forcing Satoru to shake his head gloomily and he immediately put his head on your lap, feeling comfortable on them.
“Well, how's your frie-end?” She stretched out the last word with a chuckle. There was a noise in the horn – the event was clearly not going to end.
“He's sleeping.”
“Wait, are you at his house?”
“No, we're in the taxi. I'll drop him off and join you right away.” Your hand involuntarily started stroking his head. Your fingers gently passed over the back of his head, lightly scratching him, creating mental figures.
“Don't be late, I'll be waiting-.” When you arrived, you hung up the phone without listening to the end of her words, and after paying quickly, you woke Satoru up and dragged him out. He reluctantly got up and, staggering, held on to your shoulders, trying to keep his balance.
“Who will get you?” You were puffing, feeling the weight on you.
“What did you say?” He nuzzled your temple, lightly touching his lips.
“It doesn't matter.” You shook your head, trying to push him away from you, but Satoru just buried his forehead in the top of your head, which made you sigh heavily.
Slowly and surely you walked snuggled up to each other. A lonely moon illuminated your way, giving a mother-of-pearl light to the city.
“It's beautiful today, isn't it?” His lips touched you lightly again, but this time on your cheeks, making you blush.
You didn't want to admit it, but there was something attractive about his behavior and actions towards you.
“You can make it more interesting.” Without giving any sign of your confusion, you laughed it off and called the elevator.
“Actually-”
“No comments.” You pressed your index finger to his mouth, directing your stern and serious gaze.
Baby. The big baby is exactly the words that describe him at the moment.
The wait dragged on for a long time and you broke the silence.
“Satoru, could you somehow teleport yourself to your apartment?”
“No problem, but...”
“What does "but" mean–” You stumbled when he came up to you, collided face to face, Gojo grabbed you and a moment later you fell with him on his bed. You didn't say a word, but just watched in silence as he loomed over you.
“Explain. Right now.” In an even tone, you addressed him, clutching the sheet, trying to curb anger mixed with anxiety and misunderstanding.
Satoru lowered his head and, taking off his glasses, spoke softly.
“I want you.”
“What…?” His fingers began to play with your hair while you stared into his blue eyes in surprise, looking for at least some answer in them.
“I want you all. I want to wake up in the morning and see your tangled messy hair scattered all over the pillow. I want you to be in my arms every night and wake up in my hug. I want to see your smile every day. I just want you.”
You stared at him in silence, your eyelashes twitching with every sharp movement of your eyes. Gojo took your hand and pressed it to his cheek.
“Sweet, I want this. Your softness, warmth, safety.”
There were always gaps between you and him, which Satoru sought to fill with attention and something more than interest in you. His intuition told him that despite your minimal reaction, you still have the same feelings for him that he has for you.
He felt the implication in your words, like a sign that showed him that everything was going right.
“Then hug me.”
His arms immediately wrapped around your waist, afraid that you would run away from him. The comfort of his hands made you immediately feel safe.
No kisses, no other unnecessary touches – just an atmosphere of feelings that filled the room, where everything was clear to both of you without words.
A native feeling grew inside you when you put your cheek to his shoulder.
“But they tell the truth that alcohol makes you tell the truth.” You giggled, looking at his flushed face.
“But only you see me like this. Weak and in love.”
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215-luv · 1 year
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HQ AS YOUR TYPICAL HIGHSCHOOL BOYS WHO HAS A CRUSH ON YOU
KAGEYAMA: a shy guy who needs the mental support of the whole volleyball team just so he could initiate a conversation with you. whenever you’re in the same room as him he just suddenly finds himself all stiff and unable to function properly. the amount of times where he catches glimpses of you is hilarious because he couldn’t speak a damn word to you no matter how much he wants to.
OIKAWA: to him, there’s something romantic about surprising you by leaving gifts on your desk and locker and there isn’t one day where he forgets to do that, no matter what the occasion is. during huge events such as Christmas, valentines day, you name it — he has everything planned out just for you. he’s actually good at being romantic and he knows that to himself. he’s spoiled you so much and he’s just at the peak of having a crush on you, what more if he’s in a relationship with you.
USHIJIMA: he’s the definition of actions over words. ushijima doesn’t talk much, but his intentions reflect clearly through his actions. one day, he offers to carry your things for you. another day, he offers you his sweater because he hears you complaining how cold the weather is — and that nearly scared the shit out of you because you’re literally at the other end of the classroom?? whenever you’re walking through the stairs, he’ll offer you his hand for support. if he notices your discomfort in a big crowd, he’ll use his body to support you incase someone might bump onto you while using his arm to support your lower back.
HINATA: he’ll always greet you with a ‘good morning y/n! :D’ or a ‘hi y/n! what a lovely morning, is it? how are you doing!’ with a smile on his face every morning before class starts and it goes the same when it’s time to go home ‘cause he always makes sure to see you at the beginning and at the end of his day. he’s so sweet because although he couldn’t bring you home due to volleyball practice, he’ll tell you, ‘have a safe trip home y/n!’ or ‘i’ll see you tomorrow y/n! make sure to send me a text when you’re home, kay!’
TSUKISHIMA: he still sends snappy remarks to you, but the difference between the way he is to others compared to you is detectable. very. so much so that everytime tsukki interacts with you, kageyama looks at him as if he’s possessed. his feelings for you comes out in a different way, but the soft glint from the way he gazes at you reflects his true intentions — because at one point he hears you complaining how you’re having a hard time at a certain subject, and suddenly he drops a whole ass notebook infront of you, all containing his notes of the lesson. he raises an eyebrow at the confused look you’re giving him, “why are you looking at me like that? we don’t want you failing with your empty head, don’t we?” he says with a snicker,,, and a slight blush on his cheeks.
KUROO: he doesn’t hide the fact that he has a crush on you. it doesn’t surprise you with the fact that he’s already leaning against the door frame of your classroom after classes has ended. he also isn’t shy with the fact that he’s sending you winks from across the cafeteria or hallways (he knows you like it). passing by him through the school hallway, at that short moment, he sends you a glance, a cheshire smile on his face as he greets you with a ‘hey pretty’ before passing by you as if he didn’t do shit at all.
AKAASHI: he’s so attentive when it comes to you. he’ll open doors for you and let you enter or leave the room first before he does. everyone is actually close to having no clue whether he has a crush on you or not ‘cause he’s naturally polite in general —but the thing is, his gaze on you is so loving??? it’s not the kind of look he’s ever given to anyone at all & i’m pretty sure the volleyball team has caught up with his intentions towards you. it doesn’t take long until they’re being ridiculously loud at teasing akaashi about it especially when they keep catching him looking at you with that gaze again.
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chelseeebe · 8 months
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on my knees (for you).
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a/n: more virgin!eddie tales WOOO!! i just can’t shake this little pathetic man and i want to write him being so down bad for ever and ever. thinking of some steddiexreader that includes the little virgin boy too…
this is a continuation to seven minutes in heaven but really can be read on its own, it just mentions events that happened in the first fic.
18+. smut. mentions of weed. eddie being horrifically pathetic again. no mentions of y/n.
eddie’s sure you’ve pavlov’d him.
his cock springs into action the second you appear. and see that wouldn’t be a bad thing except for the fact that he sees you multiple times a day, in class or around campus and it makes him look like a dirty perv.
even now, he’s sat trying to kill it off as you sit next to him eating your lunch. thigh brushing against his every now and again and his mind is going wild. he’s trying to think what would happen if he just lifted you onto the table and fucked the shit out of you right here.
well, in all actuality, he’d probably last all of about ten thrusts before busting a nut and subsequently dying of embarrassment. maybe it’s not wise.
the thing is, now you had this little arrangement with each other, his erections had been ramped up to level ten. and he solely blames you for that, by the way.
he’d never known someone to be so eager all the time. you’re like a fucking rabbit. tearing at his clothes the minute you’re alone already soaking your little panties. eddie had debated swiping some last time he was over but had decided against it at the last minute which he sorely regretted the second he got home.
it had mostly just been a lot of you riding him in an attempt to get him to last longer than just a few minutes so you hadn’t really.. experimented much. he didn’t mind though, getting to stare at your tits bouncing in his face as you fucked yourself on his cock? how could he complain?
your fingers wrap around his knee, leaning in to his ear, ‘i’m free for the next two hours.. what about you?’ ever so slowly traipsing your fingers higher, his cock jumping to attention. not here. please not fucking here.
he’s got steve harrington sat opposite and really does not fancy having to explain to him as to why he’s this hard at lunch time.
it wasn’t like it was a matter of life or death but it was just easier to keep doing this without everyone knowing. because then it becomes a thing and nobody wanted that. eddie’s sure at least some people have gathered what’s happening. especially argyle who had woken up rather confused to find you spooning him on your tiny couch, but had just let out a tiny bro? and fallen right back to sleep.
‘i-i have class,’ tentatively placing his hand on yours to stop it ascending any further. eyeing the other participants at the table. oh fuck. steve definitely knew. looking over with a slight glint of humour in his eye, waiting until you re-emerged from eddie’s ear to say something.
the stupid smug prick. he probably couldn’t wait to humiliate eddie in front of all your friends. then he’d swoop in with his blonde highlights and tinted strawberry lip balm. he couldn’t stand it.
surely you weren’t interested in that? really, eddie is the complete opposite of whatever the fuck that is and there’s no way in hell you’d continue to fuck him if you weren’t a fan.
‘skip class for me?’ you whisper into his ear. for me. for me. fuck. he’d do anything for you. you could’ve told him to flip the table so you could fuck right here and he would’ve.
his breath hitches in his throat but he nods quickly, squeezing your hand and dipping his head low. the bulge in his jeans was fairly obvious at this point but maybe if he got up quick enough no one would be able to tell.
your hand vacates his leg, leaving a burning sensation in it’s wake. you’re shoving your shit into your bag, standing from the shared table. oh you meant now. while over your friends were still here. you were going to walk off together. to your room. oh god. that wasn’t obvious, was it?
‘where are you goin’?’ steve asks, watching intently when you jab at eddie’s shoulder to make him move. he does immediately, grabbing his back pack and determining just how he can slide out of here without showcasing his hard on to the world.
‘we’re going to smoke.. that alright with you?’ you remark, hands poised on your hips. eddie loved it when you were like this. his heart racing faster every time you scolded him or pouted those pretty, plump lips his way.
‘sweet, i’ll come!’ argyle sits up straight, awakened by the mention of weed. of course.
‘no,’ you bark, getting fed up of waiting for eddie to stand up and instead grabbing his collar, yanking at the denim, ‘sorry, closed invitation,’ wiggling your eyebrows at the long haired boy.
this elicits a chorus of ooohs from the table as eddie finally slides from the bench, turning immediately to follow your lead. he felt like a massive loser following you around. if you got him a leash and told him to get on all fours he would. and he likes think that that’s understandable.
‘oh my god they’re so annoying,’ you hush, his legs rushing to catch up with your irritated strides. did he look like such a lost dog to other people? not that he cared much.
‘i know.. it’s steve,’ he replies, realising that there was probably too much venom in that response to pass it off as something casual. yeah, maybe he was still a tiny smidgen jealous that you two had such natural chemistry. he is human after all. anybody would be.
‘he’s an ass but it’s all of them, so nosy,’ you chuckle, linking your arm with his now that you’re out of view of your prying friends.
he had wondered if you were ashamed of him, or to be seen with him at least. it was understandable, you were literally smoking hot and he was.. a pathetic little nerd who was completely obsessed with you. but to stand up and quiet openly lead him off to your room in front of everyone, maybe you weren’t.
‘you’re not like.. ashamed to fuck me, are you?’ regretting it the instant it came out of his mouth. he didn’t want to know the answer really. and even if you were, he wasn’t going to complain. it’s not like girls were falling at his feet, let alone girls as pretty as you.
‘no!’ you hit his arm, expelling the breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding, ‘eddie be serious, it’s not like they don’t all know anyway,’ rounding the corner to your house.
he had snuck in a multitude of times over the last few weeks, in fact it was every day at this point. running up the stairs past nancy’s room, thinking how much easier it would be if you were on the ground floor. then he might be able to shuffle through your window and back out in the early hours.
you fumble for your keys, knowing that the house would be empty at this time and quite proudly let him in the door. he doesn’t reply to your answer because he had assumed that the pair of you were successful at being incredibly sneaky.
‘do you have a problem with it being a secret?’ you ask, the door slamming shut behind you.
oh god no. even if he did, he’d never tell you in fear of ruining it all. the only thing he wanted to do was to rub it into steve’s annoying face. ha ha. this massive loser had gotten into your pants before he had. well, at least he thinks.
‘no,’ it comes out sounding more like a question than a statement, which he chastises himself for straight away. if he had half the confidence any normal person had, he would’ve stopped this conversation in its tracks. shoved you back against the wall or something and shut you up with his mouth.
‘no?’
‘yeah, no,’ he repeats, sounding much more assured in himself.
‘good,’ you mutter and he notices the glint in your eye, hints of a smirk beginning to appear. he blinks and you’re stood before him, eyeing up his lips. his jeans had just got a hell of a lot tighter.
isn’t it crazy that someone’s eyes could have that affect on someone? or actually, how just the sheer presence of them in the room could have someone stumbling over their words.
‘i.. don’t care at all,’ staggered breaths as he’s backed up against the wall, shoulder blade hitting into one of the framed pictures on the wall. he wants to yelp at the pain but instead keeps his eyes solidly on yours.
he’s been practicing you see. watching any and all videos he could find of how to be a dominant man alongside copious amounts of porn and had gathered a bunch of mens help magazines. they were supposed to teach him how to be more strong willed, to flip the upper hand over to him.
except, they’d really done nothing at all. well actually, he’d now discovered that his hand was no longer sufficient compared to the earth shattering orgasms you’d given him. if there was a way for him to bottle that feeling, he’s sure that it’d be more addicting than heroin. probably make more money, too.
‘shall we go upstairs?’ you ask, eyelashes fluttering. yes. god yes. he’s desperate to get upstairs and into your room so he can disappoint you for five whole minutes this time.
‘yes.. yes please,’ his chest rising and falling rapidly. everything he had practiced had gone to shit the second you’d touched him. brilliant. 
you simply smirk, grabbing his hand to lead him up the stairs the exact same way you had the last five nights of this week.
shoving him into your bedroom and kicking the door shut behind you. you’re ferocious with it. and he wonders if you needed him as badly as he needed you. he just longed to be inside of you or next to you or just in the same room as you. he needed that feeling pumped into him intravenously.
you’re on him the second the door’s shut, grabbing at his chest, his shirt and his pants all at once. pushing him back towards your unmade bed with such urgency that he stumbles, pulling you on top of him. your lips are everywhere, pecking at his jawline and his neck. going over the violet markings you’d left previously. he was embarrassed about them at first but had quickly learned to appreciate them and the fact that you weren’t afraid to mark him.
you’re shuffling out of your jeans already, kicking them off of your ankle as you rest your knees either side of his thighs. he only notices because the frilly lace waistband of your panties catches against the button on his jeans. are these what you wear normally or is this something you did for him?
a low moan is pulled from his throat when your skilful fingers unbutton his jeans and make their way onto his rock hard cock. did you paint your fingernails for him too? the shimmering violet looked so good wrapped around his cock. he’s sure any colour would as long as it was on your hand.
‘always so hard for me, aren’t you?’ you mutter against his neck, still fondling his sensitive balls. his toes curl in his socks, keeping both feet firmly on the floor in an effort to ground himself.
there’d been a few instances of him cumming.. prematurely. and by prematurely he means, the second you touched him. he blames those times on the weed though. it was the only reasonable explanation.
‘s-sit on my face,’ he blurts out, unaware of what dark hole that had come from.
your eyes narrow, gazing down at him with your mouth hung open. that was definitely the wrong thing to say. he’d seen it in this one video and had started salivating at the thought of your pillowy thighs wrapped around his ears.
eddie hadn’t quite been able to make you cum yet. like, he was certainly making progress and you’d gotten close a couple of times but you had ultimately had to get yourself off. which he loved to watch.. he just wanted to be involved. he lived in pure amazement at how you just seemed to get there so quickly. sometimes it wasn’t even a minute with your hand between your thighs and you were whining and writhing around. how?
‘eds.. that’s- are you sure?’ eyeing him cautiously. why didn’t you just trust him? he’s pretty confident he had the technique down, ashamedly having practiced on his hand one night. yeah, that was awkward.
and the erection it had given him was too.
‘i’m sure.. please,’ he had figured out that as soon as he begged for something, he pretty much got it. maybe you had a fetish for pathetic men or something but all he had to do was plead a little and you were pouncing on him.
‘do you even know-,’
‘-yes i know what to do,’ he barks a little hastily. at least now you’d either punish him or would listen to him. either was fine.
you eyebrows fly up your forehead and he thinks for a second that he’s really in the shit. his cock jumps at the thought of you slapping him again or even better, wrapping your hand around his neck like you’d done the other day. now that really got him going.
‘okay.. but if it’s too much let me know,’ lifting yourself from his waist and shuffling upward towards his head. he’s drooling just thinking about it. wrapping his arms around the backs of your thighs just as the man in the video had. he could keep you in place perfectly like this.
‘come on,’ he sighs, watching as you slide your underwear down and off to the side, stopped just before his eager, salivating mouth. everything he had practiced came down to this very moment and he was more than ready to show you what he’d learned.
‘you’re so bossy now.. i don’t like it,’ frowning down to him, hand coming to hold onto your headboard. he had hoped that you’d pull on his hair again but was for sure not going to ask. ‘remember to tell me if it’s too much.. slap me or something, i’ll know,’ biting down onto your bottom lip.
he nods quickly, eyes sliding away from yours to your pussy poised above him. now, he didn’t have any much experience with pussy but he’d say that yours was perfect.
without wanting to waste anymore time, he pulls you down onto his mouth, tongue immediately lapping at your folds. just the way he’d practiced. he didn’t really have any preconceptions of what pussy would taste like but he’s pleasantly surprised. he’d keep you here all day if he could, who needed to breathe anyway?
‘ho-holy shit,’ you remark, clawing at your bed frame for a little balance. he thinks that’s a good thing, eyes trained on your face to determine whether he was doing this right or not.
his tongue slides up, circling around your sensitive clit. yeah, that’s it. he can tell when your eyes roll into the back of your head, hips stuttering on his face.
‘jesus eddie,’ you breathe, just hearing his name tumble from your lips does fucking wonders for him. it’s all the encouragement he needs to continue his assault on your cunt.
he murmurs something in utter gratitude when your hand leaves the headboard to instead tangle into his hair. mouth vibrating against your pussy which is another hit. the gorgeous sounds of your moans fill the room, only slightly muffled by your legs over his ears.
it’s now or never. he has to pull out the big guns.
tongue leaving your clit to slide into your dripping hole. soaking his chin, his lips and probably his shirt in your arousal. he didn’t mind one bit. it’s like a badge of honour to know that he was responsible for the mess.
‘fuck,’ you hiss, fisting his curls as your eyes squeeze shut. eddie wants to scream when your eyes roll back, his fingers digging into your fleshy thighs.
oh my god. this was paradise. utter heaven. his heart swelling a little knowing that you were cussing fretting because of his mouth. you were so gorgeous from this angle. well, from all angles but particularly this one. looking totally blissed out on top of him, your lips opening to let out the most insatiable noises he’d ever heard.
your fingers yank at his curls, legs trembling around his flushed face, ‘i’m gonna- eds, i’m cumming,’ thighs clamping around his head as your hips roll forward on their own, trying to escape the overstimulation.
eddie’s desperate to keep you there, using his palms to hold you steady while he’s literally making out with your pussy. lapping at your clit, at the juices that now covered his face. except his stomach tightens, slowing his pace until he realises what’s happening.
oh shit.
his hips buck up into the air on their own and his boxers feel incredibly wet and sticky. he’s just came in his pants by eating you out. that’s ridiculous. utterly unbelievable that someone could be that tragic.
you were definitely going to laugh at him when you realised but there’s literally not a chance that he could hide that. he lets go of his grip on your thighs, moving one hand over his crotch as you shuffle off of him.
bastard. pathetic fucking bastard.
you hadn’t even touched him yet. how was he going to explain that? i’m just so sickly obsessed with you that i came in my pants. that didn’t sound like anything a normal person would say.
his eyes remain shut, laboured breathing as his mind attempts to take him out of this room and far, far away. it’s not fucking working. especially not when he can hear your panting next to him, the rustling of the sheets as you sort them out.
your eyes travel to his covered crotch with a confused expression until you notice the dark latch and it finally clicks. ‘did you cum in your pants?’ you exclaim and he thinks that this right here might just kill him off.
he nods quickly, point blank refusing to open his eyes. it was easier this way, at least his tears of embarrassment would be somewhat hidden. you could’ve just done the polite thing and ignored it. made up some excuse about going to class and then you could disappear from his life. god, why did you have to be such a-
‘that’s so hot,’ you continue, cutting his thoughts short at just the right spot. pressing your warm body into his side as you settle into bed.
‘what? no it’s not..’ brave enough to open his eyes to look at you, confusion plastered over his face. surely you were just joking. no woman in the history of the world would find his inadequacy hot.
‘who are you to tell me what i can or can’t find hot?’ prodding at his cheek, offence ribbed throughout your response.
this surely requires a marriage proposal or something of that nature, right? like, there’s not a possibility that he could ever let you get away now.
his lips twitch into a smile, taking his hand from his crotch to wrap his arm around your shoulder. the confidence was next level and almost unheard of but he had to show you a little appreciation after you’d just told him his premature orgasm was attractive.
‘don’t ever tell me what i can and can’t like again,’ you jokingly warn, resting your head on his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut.
he speaks up after a few moments of silence, unsure of if you’re even still awake, ‘thank you.. for letting me do that,’ staring up at the ceiling. eddie thinks that he likes eating pussy. really likes it. especially yours.
you laugh sleepily, throwing an arm over his torso. it’s music to his ears. if making you cum was top priority, then making you laugh was a solid number two.
‘you don’t have to thank me every time,’ yawning into his chest. it’s technically still the middle of the day but if you were going to sleep, he sure as hell wouldn’t complain.
instead he’d lie there as still as he possibly could. kinda like when a cat falls asleep on your lap and you just can’t move for the rest of the day. he’s prepared to take that sacrifice.
-
he must’ve dozed off at some point too because he wakes up to a short knock on your bedroom door.
you’re dead to the world. completely unaffected by the sound, curled into the blanket. super adorable with your cheeks squished togeth-
the door knocks again and he jumps up, not wanting whoever it is to wake you. he hadn’t exactly thought of the consequences of answering your door. half naked at that.
‘oh! eddie.. wasn’t expecting you,’ nancy responds, eyebrows flying up her forehead. he’s such a moron. it would’ve been ten times easier to just ignore the door because now he had to explain why he was stood in his underwear in your room.
perfect.
‘oh yeah.. got too high.. had to sleep it off, yanno?’ chuckling awkwardly, desperately trying to hide behind the door. he hopes to the high heavens that his boxers aren’t stained. he’d either look like the worlds biggest creep or like the completely pathetic freak that he was. he wasn’t keen on either option.
only you could know just how pitiful he truly was.
her eyes travel to his bare legs and back up again, ‘uh huh.. well, we’re ordering pizza if you two want in..?’ giving him a tiny smile. she’s so polite that now he just feels weird. god dammit, they’re friends, his pasty little legs being out should not make him feel so exposed.
‘oh yeah uh.. i’ll ask her,’ glancing over to your very unconscious state on the bed. he wasn’t keen on the idea of waking you but did think that it’d be rather unforgivable if he didn’t. plus he was hungry.
‘okay.. don’t take too long,’ wiggling her eyebrows at him and disappearing off back downstairs. shutting your door with a quiet click.
fucking nancy wheeler and her politeness.
he slinks back over to the bed, shaking your shoulder ever so gently, ‘hey.. wake up,’ trying his hardest not to alarm you.
it works somewhat, your eyes springing open as you wake. blinking up at him from your blanket cocoon. he feels terrible but man’s gotta eat. it does occur to him now that it would’ve been a pleasant surprise to wake you with a pizza rather than just so abruptly.
‘wha- what?’ rubbing your tired eyes as you come to. you’re so cute like this, he wouldn’t mind waking up to this sight every morning. okay, maybe he’s getting ahead of himself here.
‘er.. they’re ordering pizza.. nancy asked me if you wanted anything?’ still standing sheepishly over your bed. his eyes trail down to where your thigh had poked out of the duvet, how they were keeping his face warm barely a few hours ago..
‘oh,’ you sigh, ‘yeah.. just cheese please,’ snuggling back up into the bed, ‘there’s a twenty on my desk, get whatever you want,’ closing your eyes again.
‘oh.. okay,’ he nods, even though you obviously can’t see him. deciding that this time, he’ll be more appropriately dressed to converse with your roommates. seemed like the right thing to do. plus he’s sure robin would definitely have plenty to say if he came downstairs half-dressed. and none of it good.
he ignores the money on your desk. as fucking if he’d let you pay for your own food after you had so graciously fed him earlier. not happening. like, ever again.
following the voices into your kitchen to find nancy and robin sat around the kitchen island, phone poised in her hand ready to go.
‘you’re in luck, i was just about to call.. what d’you want?’ robin asks, raising a singular brow. nancy had obviously filled her in on what had been behind your bedroom door.
‘just cheese.. please,’ ignoring how ridiculous the unintended rhyme made him sound.
‘is that for both of you?’ she looks on, a glint of something indescribable in her eye. he wishes he knew how to decipher women. you’re all so fucking complicated and weird. in the best way, of course.
‘uh.. yeah?’ looking on tentatively, unsure of what she could possible be implying.
‘she won’t share, better to get your own,’ she nods. oh. she was being nice. he’s sure there’ll be a catch somewhere.
‘oh right.. okay,’ he fumbles around in his pocket for his wallet, tossing a couple twenties onto the marble. maybe if he covered their food too, he’d get in their good books and would be welcomed back with open arms. he’s sure he could endure that.
pay for food and get magnificent pussy in return. seemed fair.
the two girls sit in silence until he gets to the bottom of the stairs and then robin pipes up once again, ‘will we be seeing you around here regularly, mr. munson?’
he pauses, staring back into the kitchen at the two girls. he’s not sure how to even respond. because actually, he’d been at your house every night this week, right under their noses. and if he were to hazard a guess, he’d be here most of next week too. and the next.
okay, maybe he was getting ahead of himself.
‘uh.. maybe?’ he shrugs, chuckling nervously. robin’s eyes are like slits, staring him down. she’d always been rather intimidating and now was no exception.
‘hm,’ she nods, shooing him off back up the stairs, ‘you’re dismissed,’ still clutching onto the clunky plastic phone.
he disappears rapidly, not wanting to hang around to find out what else she was going to pry about it. eddie reckons that he’s good at secrets, but if he was truly pressed, he’s not so confident in his ability to keep quiet.
you’re awake when he returns to your room, still dozing in bed but awake. he slinks back in, grateful to be away from their prying questions. you’re so sweet like this. not that he didn’t also adore the bossy, demanding side of you but he appreciated the docile part too.
‘you didn’t take my money,’ you point out, frowning at him from the pillow. he shuffles over to your side of the bed, smiling sheepishly.
‘i wanted to pay.. to say thank you,’ he nods, fiddling with his belt loop. he’s aware that you had already told him to stop saying thank you but he truly had to express his gratitude somehow.
‘stop doing that,’ you frown, glaring up at him, hand appearing from the blanket to grab onto his shirt. ‘if i didn’t want to have sex with you, i wouldn’t,’ fisting the material to pull him closer to the bed.
eddie’s not the most sturdy, stumbling and ultimately falling on top of you, just about catching himself before his head smashes into yours. that’d look really good to the girls he was trying to impress if he gave you a black eye, robin would probably get the pitchfork ready to murder him.
you squirm beneath him but your smile says it all, still clasped onto his tee. you’re slightly intimidating like this, well, you were all the time. but especially like this. just mere millimetres away from his face, gazing up at him with those bright eyes. he’s sure they held the glow of a thousand suns in them.
he breathes out shakily, fully aware that his entire body weight was on top of yours, ‘yeah.. shit, sorry,’ far too mesmerised by your eyes to want to move just yet.
‘apology accepted,’ you grin, smashing your lips to his, hand still fisted into his shirt. it’s lazy and messy, tongue creeping into his mouth the second you get the chance.
eddie can feel your thighs move, spreading apart to pull him in closer despite the barrier between you. holy shit. he didn’t think he’d find this so incredibly hot. grinding against you between the blanket.
downstairs, robin and nancy share a certain look when they notice the faint knocking of your headboard against the wall. robin’s nose curling the second she realises just what was happening. feeling the instant regret of ever asking him if he was to be around more often.
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ecoamerica · 25 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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avis-writeshq · 18 days
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hellooo <3
can i request a lil something for hotch about that one trend on tiktok “calling my bf my husband to see his reaction” thxx!
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pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader genre: fluff, established relationship warnings: talks about marriage + commitment a/n: thank you for requesting lovely <3 wc: 650
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Aaron’s confusion is palpable when he watches you prop your phone up by the corner of the car so that the front camera faces the both of you. He’s well aware of how you make videos of yourself to post on the internet – it’s actually how Penelope set the two of you up – but he’s never really been in any of the videos you’ve posted. The two of you are just going on a fast food trip and as soon as you step into the car, he finds himself incredibly underdressed. Granted, you always look lovely, but you still look far too overdressed to go to a drive-through. 
“Are we going somewhere after this?” He asks slowly, his eyes raking over your figure and the way you fix up your hair. 
“No, honey, I just wanted to dress up.” You smile at him, leaning over the console to kiss his cheek. 
He frowns, a stark contrast to the brilliant blush on his cheeks and the redness of his ears. “This seems like a plot.”
“No plot,” you laugh again and turn to your camera. “Guys, my husband thinks that I’m plotting something. Can you believe that?”
Aaron’s brain short circuits as soon as the words register. His fingers go lax on the steering wheel and his jaw unhinges. He’s staring at you like you’ve got three heads and his blush travels all the way down his chest. He likes the sound of that. An entire lifetime with you flashes before his eyes and all of a sudden there’s a ridiculously wide smile on his face and his eyes are crinkled at the corners.
“You’re beautiful.”
You’re giggling. A hand over your mouth and your eyes have lit up with mirth. He spares a glance at the camera and he manages a small groan, covering his face with one hand in an effort to shield his reputation. You’re still laughing quietly, although your own cheeks are hot from his breathless compliments. 
“Was this all just for a video?” Aaron asks, moving his free hand to your knee and squeezing. “Sweetheart, that’s cruel.”
“No, it isn’t! It’s just a silly video, Aaron, it’s not cruel,” You say through a smile, and you stop recording and pocket the phone. “You reacted really nicely though, I’m sure the video will do well.”
“Do other people not react well?” He asks, concerned. He doesn’t really want to think about how other boyfriends react to their significant other calling them ‘husband’, especially when he can’t imagine ever having a life without you in it. 
You shrug as you respond, “one guy didn’t let his girlfriend finish her sentence before he was yelling that he ‘isn’t her husband’. Which is true, but he responded really quickly and really seriously that it didn’t seem like a joke. I don’t know how they are in real life though, so it could have been staged.”
His concern turns into one of mortification, mainly for the couple. “I don’t understand how someone could get into a relationship and have no end in mind.”
That alone is enough to have you swooning, and he leans over to kiss your forehead. You’re beaming at him, almost slyly, and he brushes your hair out of your face. 
“We should go somewhere nice,” He decides, sitting back in his seat. He puts the car into drive. “You’re too pretty to go to a drive-through.”
You’re laughing again as he starts driving in the direction of your favourite Italian place, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh. You don’t know about the velvet ring box hidden underneath the drivers’ seat. 
Two weeks later, the video you recorded garnishes a whopping 23.6 million views, pinned beside another with a ring as the thumbnail. That video has a terrifying 43.9 million views, and Aaron is not spared any teasing. 
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writingsbychlo · 5 months
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SWEET LIKE SUGAR | (05)
summary; azriel is away on a mission, and you get an unexpected visitor. when he returns, you also get an unexpected surprise.
word count; 5988
notes; fun fact!! I got confused about which part I was on because I actually forgot all about the events of this part and started writing for part six before realising!! also the way this is months late... my bad, y’all. 
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Slumping a little further in the plush seat, your eyes scanned across the page before you for the fourth time. Finally, you’d settled on a book, after procrastinating it all morning. Then, you’d put it off with the excuse of cooking breakfast and eating, making a cup of tea… and then another. 
The house felt too big, too quiet, too light without shadows crawling in every corner. 
Azriel had been gone since yesterday morning, your first overnight alone without him as he did Cauldron knew what, Cauldron knows where, out in the world. He’d left early yesterday morning while you had still been asleep, waking you with a hand shaking your shoulder gently before the sun had even risen. Dressed in those same dark leathers, strapped head-to-toe with weapons, he’d mumbled about some sudden work from Rhys, and that explanation, along with a delicate kiss on your forehead, had been all you’d gotten. 
It had half felt like some kind of odd dream, until you’d woken up, and the house had been far too still without his presence. 
He was due back tonight, and you were holding onto that, attempting to focus back on your book. Three hours. Only forty pages in. 
You’d hardly made it two more pages, before there were footsteps on the creaky porch, your heart rate shooting through the roof, and a knock. A knock. Azriel wouldn't knock on his own front door. Matter of fact, Azriel would have likely just winnowed right to the door, not walked up the porch. 
On light steps, hoping whoever was on the other side couldn't hear you, you peeked up through the hole in the door, noting Elain standing on the other side. You barely knew her, recognising her only from the first dinner you’d shared with Azriel’s family, heart leaping into your throat at the sight of her. 
Clicking the door open after only a second or two of hesitation, she offered a beaming smile when your eyes met. 
“Hello, Elain.”
“You remember my name!” Her smile somehow only stretched wider, and it was like the sun itself seemed to get brighter as she did. You wanted to scoff. Did it just do that, or was Lucien out there somewhere, glowing every time she smiled? 
“Uh… Azriel isn’t here.”
“I know.” She waved a hand, as though that was supposed to be obvious in some way, following it up with a giggle. You wracked your brain, stumbling over every piece of information Azriel had given you on them all over the last couple of weeks. Seer. Elain was a seer. Had she seen Azriel leave and chosen this moment to approach you? “I’m here to see you.”
Apparently so. “Why?”
“I was thinking we could go for a walk in the public gardens together.”
“Why?” The word spilt out again, and she laughed, cocking her head to the side. “I’m, sorry, I don’t— I don’t mean to sound so rude. This situation is just unexpected, that’s all.”
“I know. I would have come sooner, but I was waiting for Azriel to be gone because he’s been playing defence about who gets to see you and when. He growled at Rhysand last week for asking how things were going.” Your stomach flipped at that, flopping in on itself and you rubbed a hand over your ribs slowly, hoping to steady the beating of your heart. “I’m not here for Rhysand, just to be clear. I’m not here for anyone, not even Az. I’m here for me, because I’d like to get to know you.”
“You want to get to know me?”
“Of course. You’re going to be around for a while—”
“I am?” She merely hummed, brows raising a little as humour shone in those doe-eyes, and your cheeks heated. “Seer, right. Of course. Do you want to come in for lunch or something, then?”
“I was thinking we could go for a picnic.” Nudging one delicately slippered foot out from under the hem of her dress, she nudged a picnic basket at her feet with her toes, and you shifted nervously from foot to foot. “It’s a nice day, and the Velaris Gardens are just beautiful. I volunteer sometimes, and I must say, the flowers this year are breathtaking.”
“Alright,” She was like a puppy, someone you just couldn't say no to when she stared at you with those big brown eyes, only seeming to light up more when you finally agreed. Leaving her standing on the porch for no more than a few minutes, you marked the page in your book, swapped out your loungewear for a summer dress and some sandals, and grabbed your keys. 
She had been right, the two of you were barely more than a few steps down the sidewalks before the golden rays of the sun truly began to soak into your skin, warming you. It was a lovely day. Hopefully, the sun was shining on Azriel too, wherever he was.
The streets of Velaris were crowded as the pair of you ventured closer to the busier parts of the city, your workplace was packed full, the tables outside almost overflowing, and one of the waitresses you’d come to know waved as you passed by, flustered and carrying a tray of drinks. 
Children were playing in the streets, darting from one side to another. Adults were wandering, lovers arm in arms, and friends gossiping. Here you were, wandering alongside Elain, who was humming a tune gently to herself under her breath. Only once you had entered the gardens, the kind old man at the front gate greeting Elain with a smile and a hug, did she speak up once again. 
Her tune came to an end as the two of you were walking down the main pathway, weeping willows curtaining on either side, birds chirping overhead and fluttering between branches in the trees. 
“I'm happy Azriel has you, you know.”
“You might be the only one.” Your words were bitter, harsh, and you wanted to bite them back in, still not entirely sure where you stood with Elain or to what extent you could trust her, but she only laughed again. “Apologies, that was…”
“Don’t worry.” That casual hand wave again, the metal bracelets on her wrist clinking as she did. One held a sun, another with a moon, a third gold band with an orange gem, and a fourth with a metal tag on a leather band, an engraving too small to make out. “Although, it’s not true. Nesta talks very fondly of you, and while Feyre might not speak up as often, she does not approve of the way Rhysand treats you.”
“Nesta is great. I shouldn’t have said that. And of course, I was out of turn to imply anything at all about the High Lord and Lady. I do—”
“Please, none of those formalities.” She stopped suddenly at the end of the pathway, aiming to turn neither left nor right, but instead stepping out onto the large field before you both, wildflowers cropping up, wandering across the soft ground and leaving you to trail through the grass behind her. “Rhysand can be a stubborn arse when he chooses to be, and Cassian is merely being bull-headed. Mor could be a swaying hand if she chose to, but she’s actively staying out of it, to let things play out on their own. Amren is… well, Amren.”
She had managed to coax a laugh from you, despite your wary mood, and she seemed to stand a little taller at the triumph. Finally finding a spot she liked and placing the basket down, Elain opened it up to pull out a blanket, flapping it out into the light breeze and laying it on the ground slowly. She sat on it, patting the space beside her for you to sit on, and opening the basket only when you had. 
“I brought several sandwiches, because I wasn’t sure which you’d enjoy.” She began to unstack each labelled and wrapped meal portion, laying them out around you both until the blanket was covered in food and treats, a wine glass in your hand as Elain filled it with bubbling grape juice. “I try not to drink as much these days.”
It seemed the two of you had moved on from whatever conversation you’d been having, and no matter how much you wanted to circle back around to it, it felt rude to do so when she was clearly leading the chat. She was rubbing a hand over her stomach with contemplation, and you swirled the bubbly drink in your glass. “Are you… are you trying for a baby?”
Her hair glinted in the sun as she tipped her head back, eyes closed and smiling at the sky. “We’re thinking about it. Nothing concrete yet, but, I know Lucien desires children. I do too. We aren’t putting any kind of timeframes on anything, but we’re getting into some good habits and lifestyle changes now.”
“I wish you both the best of luck,” 
She only hummed, again, a contemplative sound that seemed so wrapped up in mysterious and knowledge that it made your skin itch. To distract yourself, you took a sip of your drink, eyes scanning over the food options before you as she sighed and pulled herself back from whatever thoughts she had lost herself in. “My happiness with my mate now is so much due to Azriel.”
It was like a ball, bouncing back and forth between the walls, getting faster and faster as she whipped from the topic of Azriel to anything else, like she couldn't decide between acknowledging the elephant in the room or ignoring it. 
“I’m happy he has you.”
“So you’ve said.” You smirk, settling on a sandwich at last and unwrapping it. 
“There was a while when I thought I might be his happy ending, and he might be mine.” Your chewing slowed, and your focus fixed on her. You weren’t sure why she was saying these things, revealing things about his past or her own, whether it was some kind of game or not. She seemed to read all of this on your face, sitting up more fully to face you, legs crossing before her. “He never fought for me the same way he fights for you, though. Like he can’t help himself. What we had was hidden away and sneaking around in the dark. It was wrong for us both, I see that in hindsight, but with you, he doesn’t hide you. It’s like he wants the whole world to know you’re at his side.”
The food was like trying to swallow a mouthful of cottonwool, choking it down dry and wincing. “I don’t think what we have is the same. What you had must’ve been… well, like a real relationship. You do understand what me and Az have is more like an agreement, right?”
“Are all relationships not just agreements to be together, monogamously?”
You sipped at your drink, buying time to find a reply as she tucked into her own food, surely knowing she’d won this round. “Relationships are different.”
“In what way?”
“In every way!” You said, and she still only managed to look mildly amused, waiting for you to go on. “Relationships shouldn’t start the way ours did, for the intent of mutual benefit and gain. They’re supposed to be about passion and feelings and connection.”
“And do you not have passion, or feelings, for Azriel? Is there no connection?”
“What we have is complicated.” You didn’t know how to define it at all, everything that was shifting and changing so thoroughly was enough to make your head spin, and her mumble only confirmed that she knew she had the upper hand here. “How did Azriel help you to find Lucien if you were… together?”
“Oh, no, we were never together. We snuck around at night and shared heated looks across the dining room table. I wanted to choose my own path for once, not the one everyone was telling me I should be on. The one that led to Lucien. And Azriel, well, he just wanted someone. I wasn’t the right someone, I was just there.” That didn’t answer your question, not at all, but it seemed that if you were going to get the reply you wanted, it was in return for listening to the whole story. “We had stolen moments in dark corners, and Rhysand warned us off one another, put a stop to what likely would have ended in tragedy.”
“Seems like the High Lord is fond of telling Azriel who he can and cannot be with.”
“He had a sister once, you know.” The words struck cold, and you stiffened. Of course, you knew. Everyone in Prythian knew. Had heard of the tragedy before the first war, when the Lord of Night had lost his wife and daughter, leaving only the Prince who would soon take the throne. “She fell in love with someone who she shouldn’t have, someone who betrayed her in the end,”
“Should you be telling me this?”
“—and it broke him for so long. I had no idea about any of this until Feyre told me. He watched his sister get her heart broken before she lost her life, and watched his mate fall for Tamlin and get hurt. He watched Mor hide such an important part of herself and get hurt for centuries. He even watched Lucien pine for me while I was too blind to see him. He has watched love break and harm over the years, watched people abuse those feelings and use them for their own gain. He knows that need for touch more than anyone, and knows the price companionship can cost.”
“Elain,” The food was beginning to taste like ash, this was becoming more of a petition than a chat. “I understand that. I know he’s suffered too, I know he’s felt pain, and I’m sorry for that. But that doesn’t excuse him for his cruelty. It doesn’t excuse him for stopping Azriel from finding happiness. He cannot control everyone around him, no matter whether his intentions are good or not. Other people’s happiness is not his responsibility, and not his right. What, only mates are allowed to be together? Do you know how rare it is to find your mate? Azriel has waited five hundred years, he may never find his mate, but does that mean he should never be allowed to know happiness because Rhysand decrees it?”
She stared at you, lips pursed for a long moment, considering all that you had said. And then, instead of getting angry, or yelling, or defending them further, she smiled. She nodded her head and something passed over her face that you couldn't possibly decipher. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Azriel would have fought for me, if I had asked him to. I’m sure I could have put up a fuss about it, but when he was told to stop, he did. That rejection…”
“Led you to Lucien?”
“Gods, no. It made me so angry. Azriel just rolled over and showed his belly because Rhysand snarled. I was mad, beyond words!” Your laughter broke free, surprising you both, until you were laughing together amongst the flowers. “He would barely look at me, wouldn't talk to me at all if not for polite dinner conversation. I’d gone from someone he’d feel up in dark corners to acting like I had a disease!”
“That’s awful!”
“I know! So, I wanted out. I was so stifled. I managed to persuade Rhysand to send me to the Human Lands for a while, to track down some information. Except, of course, I couldn't go alone. I needed an escort, and who better than the Emissary to the Human Lands?”
“This was Lucien?”
“Mhm.” She rolled her eyes, slipping away into her memories, a smile forming on her face. “Gods, he drove me insane. He was there all the time when I’d just been pulled from the Cauldron, like a lost puppy. So full of adoration and love. I was expecting that, but that’s not the Lucien who showed up. The one who showed up was so… nonchalant. Like the bond between us didn’t exist, we were friends, more like mere partners on a task. I even made a drunken move on him one night in a gross tavern far from The Wall, and he turned me down! Put me to bed and left a glass of water on the nightstand for me. Acted like it never happened in the morning.”
“Oh, Gods…” Your snicker bought you a mock glare from the flowery female beside you.
“I was even angrier, then. It was like nobody wanted me! So, when I returned, I gave Azriel a piece of my mind. And he let me yell at him for twenty minutes. And then awkwardly held me while I cried for another twenty.”
“Does this story have a happy ending? Well, I guess I know it does,” You offered her stomach a pointed look, “But when do we get there?”
“Fine, fine,” She rolled her own eyes now, “To keep it short, Azriel then offered to help me with Lucien. Managed to trick Lucien into going on our first date, a blind-date set-up, and wouldn't let him leave when he tried to. He then continued to help me sneak around with Lucien behind everybody’s backs, until we were ready to come out with it.”
“When was that?”
“Two weeks before we got married.” You fell to your back, laughter like light spilling from you at that, and she continued to share the details of everyone’s reactions through giggles of her own. “I’d seen all their responses, and I wanted to avoid them as long as possible! That was the last time I ignored my visions to try and put them off. What I see will happen, it's only a matter of time. I can’t avoid it.”
“That must suck for surprise parties and gifts.”
“Maybe, but it was pretty good to see you coming.” She smiled, laying herself down beside you and staring up at the sky overhead. “We will be good friends, you and I. I’ve seen that too.”
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You were preparing dinner when you finally heard Azriel arrive. The scuff of his boots on the porch, the rustle of his wings as he entered the house, and then—
Then the slam of the front door. So loud and violent that the house shook a little, trembling the trinkets in the hall that sat on the side unit. You tensed, hearing his loud huff of frustration. Shadows whipped and whirled through the house, a few even making it as far as you were in the kitchen, and you followed them, peeping around the threshold before they were all snapped back in a hurry to their owner. 
You saw his retreating back, stomping up the stairs of the house, tense lines and rigid muscles, disappearing in a dark cloud from sight. Another slam made you jump, one of the upstairs doors closing with a bang. 
Silence filled the house once again, far heavier and more tense than it previously had been, and you worried your lower lip between your teeth. 
It didn't feel like you were welcome, like perhaps this was a moment you shouldn't intrude on. But, was this not part of the reason that Azriel had brought you here in the first place? To comfort him, and be his support?
Minutes ticked by as you contemplated the matter, before deciding that at least checking in on him couldn't hurt. If he wanted alone time, he’d say that, and you’d happily give it to him. The idea of leaving him alone in his suffering created a phantom pain in your chest, spurring you up the stairs and on a search for him. 
He wasn’t hard to find, darkness flicking around the doorway of the office, idle shadows striking like dark lightning bolts in the air as you opened the door, only to find Azriel hunched over his desk, wings tense behind his body. 
“Hi, Az. It’s good to have you home.”
He only murmured, a vague noise, not even lifting his head from his work as you stood in the doorway. You paced a little further inside, standing by his desk, hoping to catch a glance of those pretty caramel eyes, but he kept his head down. His pen never stopped moving across the paper, his shadows never stopped their stormy swirling. 
“I’m going to start making dinner soon, if you want to come down?” He didn’t reply, just a grunt, and you gave up, despite the worry filling you from head to toe. “Alright, well, you know where to find me.”
With that, you left, a pulse of power following you from the room within as soon as you clicked the door shut, back pressed to the wood on the other side. With a couple of deep breaths, you steadied yourself. It was only a matter of time before something came up, everything had been going too smoothly, too perfectly to last. Azriel was bound to snap under all that pressure at some point, and if this was that snap, you could handle it. 
Setting a chicken off to roast only took a couple of minutes, basted and seasoned and into the oven, enough of a distraction to pull your thoughts away from the warrior upstairs. It was as you were chopping vegetables that your mind wandered back, the mind-numbing task of slicing peppers and carrots made it easy for your thoughts to trail back to Azriel.
Still, he had not emerged. Not for food, or water, or even some space from that office. 
Setting the table didn’t help to distract you either, laying down plates and cutlery and glasses, choosing a bottle of wine and setting it out to air, even going so far as to set down some candles, searching for matches to light them. The house was all but vibrating with power not, steady thumps that occasionally jostled the cutlery on the table with powerful bursts. 
Whatever had happened today had Azriel so riled up that his power was all but leaking out, siphons doing little to control the feelings welling inside him now. You’d never known the true strength of his power. Of course, you’d heard of the High Lord’s brothers, the spymaster and the warlord, the three champions of a lethal death-match among young soldiers, who’d come out bonded stronger than ever, with power to match. 
Never, though, did you expect to feel the power like this. Feel his emotions ricocheting off of every wall, bouncing through the foundations of the house. Suddenly, it dawned on you just how mighty the ranks of the Night Court truly were, a chill settling into your bones at the thought.
One bad mod, one temper tantrum, and the building could simply crumble to dust. Street lamps would flicker, and animals would scatter. Too many thoughts, too much and all of it became overwhelming as the house continued to tremble to the steady pattern of a heartbeat. 
Blowing out the candles as the flames flickered precariously once again, you put them away, not daring to risk them tipping over and creating a far worse problem. You knew the scars on Azriel’s hands, he’d told you the story behind them on one of the many nights the two of you had lay in bed, wrapped in one another’s arms, seeking comfort. 
Or perhaps, it had been during stolen moments in the café, when Azriel would come to visit you, sitting and doing his work at one of the tables in the back. He’d take a break only when you’d bring him a fresh pot of tea and a pastry, sit across his lap and talk in hushed whispers during the quieter parts of your shifts before you had to get back to work. 
It could even have been one of your late-night walks, or early-morning strolls, while the streets of Velaris were quiet and mist-kissed. Your hands clasped together tightly, his wing shielding around you as you walked together, talking of everything and anything that came to mind. 
He’d told you quiet stories of his past, of his present, of his hopes for the future. All about little baby Nyx, Nesta and her journey to finding the Valkyries, what it had been like growing up in the camps, or all the best little villages and towns he’d visited on his worldly travels. 
Your heart had been doing crazy things, lately. Crazy, stupid things, like skipping a beat and speeding up and bursting with adoration for a man so new to your life. It did crazy things, like encourage you back up the stairs an hour later, to ignore the tremble in your hands or the wobble in your step, heart calling out to him. 
You’d tried to ignore the urge. To sit and read your book, until you’d read the same line over and over while not absorbing a single word, and giving up with a frustrated huff. You re-basted the chicken, and added the vegetables to cook, and even set off some potatoes to boil but all the while, as your body worked, your mind and heart lay with him. 
This time, you knocked as you entered, knuckles a soft rap on the door before you pushed it open. Magic thrummed through the air, calling you closer and pushing you away, and you found Azriel, still in the same uncomfortable position, working at his desk. His shoulders were locked and rigid, his head hung, hair messy from constant tangling, and you lifted a hand, brushing it slowly through his hair. 
“Azriel…”
He barely even acknowledged you, nothing more than a grunt tossed in your direction as you stood by his side, and a sigh broke free from you. His lips were turned down in a frown, dragging all of his pretty features into misery too, and you hated to see this side of him. Hooking your fingers under his chin, his writing came to a stop as you forced his head to turn, to look up at you. His eyes were dull, a spark of irritation and anger bursting through them as recognition and consciousness flashed back into his lifeless form. 
“Azriel.”
This time, a growl tore free, that frown becoming a snarl as he pulled back, gaze narrowing a little. “I’m fucking working. What do you want?”
You froze, staring at him, taking in the exhaustion under his eyes, the pain in his stance, the spinning thoughts you could practically see surrounding him, so much so it must be dizzying and painful. Dropping your hand back to your side, he only returned to work, not sparing you another thought as he chased to catch up with the ones already running him ragged in his head. 
Silently walking away, you left his door open, hurrying away from the scene and back to the kitchen. Taking the kettle in trembling hands and filling it up, you set that to boil too, a mug from the cupboard clacking as you set it down on the counter, throwing open the doors to the tea cupboard soon after. 
Your nervous fingers skimmed across the labels, searching the front of each one, and it was as you were holding two, undecided on which to choose— perhaps just brew them together?— that the air in the room shifted, and a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist, tugging you back into a solid chest. 
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, face tucking into the crook of your neck, where he left a kiss to your skin. His hold tightened, squeezing you against his body as he slumped down into you. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Az.” You ran a hand along his forearm, banded around your body, feeling it loosen just a fraction as you squeezed. “I’m just so worried about you, I wanted to make you some tea to help, but I couldn't decide which one.”
At that, a whine slipped free from him, nuzzling deeper into your neck, another kiss, and another. Putting down the teas on the counter, you wiggled a little, managing to get him to loosen up just enough to turn in his arms. His forehead came to rest on your own, noses brushing, a sad frown on his lips as his eyes remained closed. 
“Az…”
“No more work. If I’m stressed to the point of snapping at you, then it’s too much. I’m sorry. You were just trying to help, and clearly, I needed the help.”
Looping your arms around his neck, he sighed, a happier sound as you scratched at the nape of his neck soothingly. “Stop apologising, Azriel. I appreciate it, but it’s unnecessary. I’m not angry at you, just concerned.”
“I like that you worry about me.” He whispered, deep voice running like honey as he bent enough to pick you up behind the backs of your legs, spinning you to place you onto the kitchen counter, and step comfortably between your thighs. “But you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You deserve better. I don’t deserve you, but I don’t want to let you go.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Az. I wouldn't be in this relationship if I was going to run. I can handle you, even when you’re not at your best.”
He only answered with a shaky laugh, hands smoothing up your thighs to sit on your hips, squeezing in a series of happy pulses. “We’re in a relationship?”
Elation was clear on his face, no denying it, at your choice of words, and you gave a little chuckle of your own, nodding against him as your noses came back to brushing together, heads resting on one another. Your conversation with Elain flickered through your mind once again, and you wondered if she had seen this, seen you give into her whims and silently admit she was right. If she’d seen this, you hope she picked up on your mental scowl, too. “Well, what would you call what we have?”
“I like ‘relationship’. I like it a lot, actually.”
Throwing your arms over his shoulders, they looped around his neck, and you pushed your face up a little closer to him. “We may not be conventional, Az, but I like what we have. I like our relationship. I think we’re perfect as we are.”
He didn’t need words to respond, not this time, not as his mouth sealed over your own in a gentle, tender kiss. The first kiss you’d ever shared, a timid one, his lips working slowly and cautiously over yours, giving you plenty of time to pull away. 
You didn’t want to, kissing him back with just as much tenderness and affection as he was showing you, pouring every feeling you had into it, to make sure he knew just how much you cared. Your heart was beating hard, fast, racing like a drum under your ribcage as you melted into his touch. One scarred hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb smoothing across your skin, in tandem with every stroke of his lips. 
You pulled back for breath, just to find yourself tangled back up in him, his tongue stroking across your lower lip, teasing the roof of your mouth as you opened up for him. A groan skittered across your tongue from him, a pant for breath, his hand slipping up under your shirt to sit on your bare waist as you tugged on the slight curls of his hair. 
When he pulled back, at last, your lips were swollen, your lungs burning in the best way possible, and your head was spinning so much you could barely focus. The world felt fuzzy at your touch, glowing and glittering as you stole a final kiss from his lips, his soft chuckle breaking it. 
“Am I still invited for dinner with you?”
“Yes. I’m making chicken and potatoes.” Your smile lasted only a second, before you were sitting upright. Time had melted away around you, disappearing into dusk outside beyond the windows, “Oh, no, the potatoes!”
Pushing him back and hopping down from the counter, he watched with a dazed, kiss-drunk expression as you rushed to the stove, taking off the pan lid and prodding at the potatoes with a fork. 
“I amend my earlier statement. We’re having chicken and mashed potatoes, because these have gone soft. Entirely your fault for distracting me.”
“I distracted you?” He mused, sneaking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, tugging you back to kiss at your cheeks, trailing down toward your mouth. 
“You know you did.” His only response was a smile. Draining the potatoes was a challenge, what with Azriel plastered to your back like a new limb that served no purpose, and you had to elbow him off in order to finish the food. 
While he waited, he tinkered with the dining room table, pouring two glasses of wine and rearranging. When you turned, he’d dug out the candles you’d put away, lighting them with a match once again, and blushing as he laid them out. “I thought they’d be romantic.”
“I like them.” Your cheeks were equally as heated, smiling to yourself as you turned away to check the food. 
His distance didn’t last long, as you searched for a knife with which to carve the chicken, he was once again backing you into a counter, his mouth hungrily descending upon your own. Mutters of ‘waiting long enough’ silenced on your mouth as he dove into you, hands on your body once again, trying to tempt you up onto the counter. 
“Let me cook, you menace,”
“Just a few more,” Was his barter, and those few kisses passed more and more time, his lips like a high you had to chase, until only the desperate urge to breathe could pull you apart. “Gods, I love that. I love kissing you.”
“I can tell.”
He rolled his eyes, but his smirk stayed, unashamed of his newfound addiction. 
“We need to eat, you need food.”
“I have everything I need, right here.” He leaned in again, lips puckered, and you tipped your head his mouth finding the edge of your jaw, and he grunted unhappily at the action, but mouthed at your skin nonetheless.
“How about after dinner, we can go upstairs and do some self-care. I’ll show you all the fancy new creams and skincare I got. We can relax, and cuddle, and read.”
“And there will be more kisses?”
“There will most definitely be more kisses.” You promised, cupping his face and bringing him back for a final peck. 
“Then I think I can agree to those terms.” He stared, pulling back just enough to fully take you in. As the urgency in his expression died down with the promise that this affection was not a one-time deal, his face took on blissfulness instead. Running his knuckles across your cheek, his face softened even further as you leaned into his touch, cupping his hand and pressing kisses to his scarred fingers. “You… You are my moon, do you know that? You light up even the darkest parts of life for me.”
His words were like whispered oaths, something too heavy for you to fully comprehend but burned into your mind regardless, and you gave him a sweet smile back. “You are my stars, Azriel.”
“Really?”
“Every last one. Glittering and perfect in the night, full of mystery and hopes and stories. You are my favourite part of the night sky.”
Your heads rested together, dinner temporarily forgotten just for another moment or so, to bask in the revelations of the evening. 
Today, 
today changed everything for the better.
937 notes · View notes
notafunkiller · 11 months
Text
love me like you paid me - co-written with @marvelouslizzie​
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Summary: You accompany businessman Bucky Barnes to all the events he has to attend, and you find yourself wishing he wasn’t paying you to be his date.
Pairing: businessman!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings: 18+, age gap (the reader is 24, Bucky is 34), teasing, dirty talk, pet names, daddy kink, fingering, nipples play, oral sex, clit play, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), cursing, no mention of y/n 
Word Count: 11K
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N: @marvelouslizzie and I had a great time writing this story, and we really hope you will, too, while reading it.
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
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> I think I'll be late for a couple of minutes, I am very sorry. You can go inside, you just need to say your name.
You look at the text he sent you once again, to make sure you didn’t miss any details. The thought of going inside alone spikes up your anxiety even though you never met him before. Everything looks so fancy, and you are already feeling out of place.
So you decide to wait. It's better for appearances, anyway. You didn't properly establish the context of you being his plus-one before, and you don't want to make mistakes.
And it doesn't even take a long time. He arrives just five or six minutes later. You watch him get out of the car and look around before your eyes finally meet for the first time.
"I am so, so sorry for being late. But why are you standing here?" He says awkwardly looking at you from head to toe twice as he starts arranging his suit jacket.
“I thought it would be better if we go inside together. It wouldn't look too convincing if we came separately.”
He nods. "Smart. I'm sorry, I'm..." He pauses, unsure, and extends his hand. "You're very beautiful, thank you. I'm Bucky."
You offer him a smile while extending your hand and giving him your name. “Thank you. You’re looking very dapper yourself.”
He snorts. "Not thanks to me."
“Huh?” You raise an eyebrow in confusion.
"I meant my stylist." He explains, freeing your hand.
“Oh.” You feel awkward. You didn’t even think about that. “Yeah, but you are carrying it well.”
You see his cheeks getting red. "Thank you. Shall we go inside?"
“Yeah, of course.” You offer him your arm.
"I think I should be doing that." He does the same thing.
You feel so embarrassed for a second but take his arm anyway. “Sorry. I’m just nervous.”
“Don't be sorry." He gives the man at the entrance a smile before saying your names, and in no time, you are led to your table.
You take a look around, trying to be as subtle as possible. It’s even fancier than it seemed when you were waiting for him outside and people seem to know one another as they greet and talk to each other. You feel a faint pain in your stomach.
"You know… in case someone asks you, my three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas."
“What?” You feel so lost.
"My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas." He repeats this expired joke he read online at some point. "You know, eating my family and eating, my family."
You suddenly snort, not expecting him to make a joke like this.
"I guess you can smile, and what a beautiful smile you have." He pauses and scrunches his nose as soon as he finishes the phrase. "I don't mean to be you know... I am not trying to...."
“You are not trying to what?” You’re still smiling because of his dad joke, totally unaware of why he’s trying to explain himself.
"To make you uncomfortable or something. I just wanted to help you feel better. I am surprised, though. Usually, models feel a little less nervous."
“Model?” You repeat, visibly confused. “I’m… I’m not a model.” Did they tell him you were a model?
"Oh, it explains the height." He lets out a deep breath.
“The height?” You can’t believe he actually said that. Like your height isn’t good enough for his standards. Probably, you aren’t good enough for his standard since you aren’t a model.
"Oh god, no." He groans. "That sounded terrible. I meant, models usually are very tall and look... different. I told them I don't want a model, but my team didn't quite listen. That’s why I said that."
“So you aren’t the one who specifically wanted a model?”
"God, no." He shakes his head. "I actually chose you." He scrunches his nose again. "That sounds even more terrible."
“I know you chose me. How do you think they found a photo of me to send you?”
Bucky snorts. "I should shut up."
“No, no. I mean…” You lower your voice a little to make sure no one hears you. “I was aware of what this is when I said yes. It’s fine.”
"I am making a fool out of myself, I am sorry."
“No, you are not. It’s actually helping me to relax because I was really worried about…” You stop yourself right before saying something stupid.
"Did I seem intimidating?"
“Yeah.” You quickly accept it because his choice of words is much nicer than what you were originally thinking. You expected him to be a pretentious asshole. Instead, he seems like he’s just as nervous as you are.
He smiles. "What would you like to drink?"
“White wine is fine.” It seems like a safe choice.
"I love wine." He smiles. "And to be honest, it’s the only thing I drink at those events. Oh, and champagne, of course."
“That also works, but I can’t have too much.”
"Want to order food before?"
“No, not because of that. I have an early work meeting tomorrow.”
"Oh, we can leave earlier." He immediately offers. "I don't stick much around usually, anyway."
“That’s not necessary, we can stay as much as you want. I’m already prepared for my meeting. I just don’t want to seem unprofessional tomorrow by looking like I have a huge hangover. I kinda need it to go well.”
"What do you do if you're not a model?" He asks with a smile, genuinely curious to find out more information.
“I am running my own bakery.”
"That sounds so awesome. Family business?"
“No. I actually started it pretty recently. Still learning how to manage a business and get clients.” You suddenly stop, feeling self-conscious. “Sorry. That must sound really silly to you.”
"Silly?" He tries to tuck back a few strands of his hair as he looks at you. "I want to know more. If you want to share of course. Maybe I can even help. I know how hard it can be, especially when you don't have experience. Do you have a partner?"
“No.” You can’t help but smile because he seems genuinely interested. “I’m doing it by myself. Or rather trying.”
"Wow, that must be exhausting and challenging. Do you have employers? How new..." he stops mid-sentence when the waiter comes. "Can you bring us some white wine, please?"
"What kind?"
You watch him as he casually orders a specific brand, then his eyes meet yours again. You realize he’s actually waiting for your answer. “I have one person that works with me.”
"Paying a salary must be hard."
“Yeah, money is kinda tight.” That’s the whole reason you accepted being his date tonight: you want to be able to pay Nicole’s salary, but you don’t say that.
"I'm sorry." He sighs. "Maybe I can help, though." He thinks about a donation or something, but he doesn't even know you or your business.
“You already are. Don’t worry about it.”
The waiter returns with the wine, asking you if you want to taste it, but Bucky gives him a polite smile after looking at you. "Thank you, but no need."
The man nods and starts pouring slowly.
When you taste the wine, you understand why he specifically asked for this one. It leaves a really gentle after-taste on your tongue.
"Do you like it?" He asks nervously as he takes a sip himself.
“Very much. Probably the best wine I have ever tasted.”
"I am so glad to hear that. But did you eat anything before coming here?”
“Ihm… No.”
"Then we should order. Excuse me," he calls the waiter again with a hand gesture.
While he is ordering food, you find the perfect moment to stare at him. He’s speaking in a way that shows he belongs here. He is kind yet commanding. You focus on his face and watch a strand fall on his forehead. He doesn’t pay any attention to it, just gently pushing it back, but you find yourself taking a deeper breath. His lips are full, his smile is gentle and his eyes are curious. That’s when you notice he is actually talking to you.
"Do you have preferences?"
You shake your head. You have no idea what preference he is talking about, but even if you did you are sure you would have no idea what to order in a place like this.
"Do you trust me with this?" 
“Yeah.” You quickly answer to cover the fact that you weren’t paying attention to his food choices. “Just no sea food, please.”
"Of course." He nods and turns his attention to the waiter again. "The same for her, please. Also a bottle of water."
*
It's already pretty late, and it's clear neither of you has much energy left, but you can't interrupt this conversation. You are trying to listen so you can be prepared if they ask you something.
"I agree, the market doesn't look good, but let's see if something changes once they apply the new policies," he says looking at both of you for a couple of seconds. "It's hard for new businesses, unfortunately."
You take a deep breath, knowing what he says is true and how it affects you. Still, you don’t comment on anything, just watching them.
Bucky leans in, laughing politely when the man cracks a bad joke, and you notice how a few  hair strands fall on the side of his face and forehead.
Before your mind can register what you are doing, you find yourself leaning towards him and pushing the hair back. Then you notice what you’ve just done and freeze. Your hand lingers on his hair.
He freezes too, mid-sentence, and looks at your hand, his neck getting so red in just a few seconds.
"Oh, look at that. Your girlfriend is taking good care of you." The man in front of you teases. 
“I’m sorry.” You try to retreat your hands as gracefully as possible so it won’t look suspicious. His hair is back in its place.
"Don't apologize." Bucky smiles, taking your hand into his. "She's always shy in public."
“I forgot for a second we are in public.” That’s not a lie. You really forgot your surroundings and how you were supposed to behave.
"What a beautiful girlfriend you have, Barnes."
You can feel your cheeks burning because of his words. You are not his girlfriend obviously, but will he point that out?
"She's also incredibly smart. You know, she started her own bakery a few months ago in this crazy market."
“Really?”
"Yes, with no help either. I'm really proud of her."
Did he just say he’s proud of you? Jesus christ…
“That doesn’t surprise me at all. You know why?” He’s directly asking you that question, and you just shake your head as in no. “Because he started his own company, probably around your age, too.”
"Michael..."
That you didn’t know. You had no idea how he got this rich, and hearing that makes you feel more hopeful.
“I’m just saying.” The man continues. “I can see why you like her. And she’s pretty lucky because she can get the best investment advice or tips on how to run a successful business from you.”
"Oh, trust me, I am luckier." He gives you the warmest smile you've ever received.
You have no idea what to say or do. Should you act like his girlfriend? Should you just smile and nod? That would be rude, wouldn’t it? You should return the compliment. You would definitely do that if he was your boyfriend. 
“Oh, I know how lucky I am,” you say with a smile.
Bucky takes a quick look at his watch. "Alright, I think we need to go. Tomorrow is a long work day. Hope you don't mind." He shakes Michael's hand.
"It was nice to see you."
You are glad it’s finally time to leave. You were getting worried about how much longer you would have to stay here. Not because of him. Bucky seems like a perfectly nice guy, but this fancy place makes you uncomfortable. You gently smile while shaking Michael’s hand and take Bucky’s arm.
"Have a good evening. It was nice to meet you."
“It was nice meeting you too, Michael.”
"I'm sorry for that. Took too long," Bucky whispers in your ear.
“The event isn’t even over yet. We are leaving early.” He shouldn’t have to say sorry for something you agreed to do.
"Is it okay if we drive you home?" He gestures to his driver who's pulling in. You didn't even realize when he texted him.
“You don’t have to, I can take a cab.”
"At this hour?" He puffs. "Not in a thousand years. My driver can drop you off." Bucky offers instantly. It's clear he won't let this go.
“Only if it won’t be a bother…”
"Of course not." He gestures to his driver. "I want you to drop the lady off and make sure she gets inside safely, please. I'll take a cab."
“What?” You didn’t expect him to take a cab. “No, I can’t accept that.”
"Please. Also thank you for tonight, I am really grateful and I enjoyed having you here."
“Bucky…” You stop for a second, feeling hesitation over using his name. “Can I call you Bucky?”
"Of course."
“Bucky, thank you for tonight. I enjoyed it more than I expected. You are a gentleman, but I can’t take your car. I thought you meant dropping me at my place on your way home.”
"I thought..." he pauses. "You felt uncomfortable around me and that's why you refused the ride."
“No. Why would I feel uncomfortable around you?”
He smiles shyly and opens the door for you. "Alright, then let's go."
You really don’t know why he thought that and it bothers you. While you take your seat, you decide to apologize for what happened in there. Maybe that’s why he felt uneasy.
He looks absolutely confused when you actually say the words. "What?"
“I am just really sorry about what I did back there. I don’t know what came over me.”
"What did you do?”
“You know… Making you uncomfortable by fixing your hair.”
Bucky can't help but giggle softly. "Why would you apologize for that? That was very thoughtful, thanks."
His giggle catches you off guard. “I thought… I crossed a boundary.”
"No, not at all. Sorry for the boring conversations."
“It wasn’t that boring. I actually learned a couple of things.”
Bucky smiles. "Did you? Not surprised, you're a businesswoman after all."
“I try to be.” You smile back even though you are feeling kinda sad that your time with him is about to end.
"I think you have a big potential. You control your emotions very well. You are smart and know how to enjoy good wine." He gives you a playful but innocent wink as he says the last part.
“And now I know you, so I can ask for business advice.” You repeat Michael’s words very poorly.
Bucky nods. "Of course. And you know maybe I can help... with a donation."
“A donation?” You really didn’t mean to sound that offended, but you are.
He frowns. "Yeah, I really think you got potential in business and it's hard when no one helps you."
Talking about money always bothers you. Getting paid for going out with someone already feels wrong enough, but the way he walks about it makes you feel worse. 
“Can we…. not… talk about this?” Your discomfort is much more clear in your voice than you realize.
"I-Of course, sorry if I bothered you," he immediately says apologetically.
“Talking about money like this bothers me and… just to be clear, I don’t want any help.”
"I understand. I wasn't trying to intrude."
You offer him a smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes.
"I'm really so-"
"Is this the right address?" The driver interrupts Bucky all of a sudden.
“Yeah, it is.” Your answer comes instantly.
"Perfect."
“Thank you…” You stop for a minute realizing you don’t know his name. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name before.”
"Noah."
“Thank you, Noah.” Then you turn to Bucky. “And thank you for tonight, Bucky.”
"Thank you." You give him one more smile before opening the door. "Wait."
“What?”
"Are you free on 18?"
“I… think so. Why?”
"I have a proposal for you."
*
As the 18th comes closer, you get more worried about what to wear. You used your fanciest dress at that event and now your options are pretty limited. You search your closet and try to think of a friend who would let you borrow a dress. That’s when you finally see that simple black dress. That might work. When you put it on, your feelings are conflicted, though. It looks good on you, but it doesn’t seem good enough. You are not completely sure about how fancy this event is. Maybe… maybe you can ask him. 
< Hey. Sorry to bother you but how fancy is this event?
> Hey, no bother. Like the one we attended.
> Why?
< I’m not sure about my dress. Is it okay if I show it to you? I don’t wanna be underdressed.
> I am sure that's impossible but of course.
You send a mirror selfie, showing your dress.
>You look very beautiful.
>The dress is absolutely amazing too, but it's a black-tie event. Would you consider me disrespectful if I sent my stylist to you?
< Thank you. 
< No, of course not. I need help. I would appreciate it.
> Gonna send Lila a message and then I'll give her your number if that's okay.
< That’s perfectly okay. Thank you and again sorry to bother you with something like this.
> You don't bother me.
> I mean it.
< I know you are busy. That’s what I meant.
> Well, I am sure you are very busy yourself.
> How is the bakery and how was the meeting?
< I’m done working for the day. So I get to worry about the dress I’m gonna wear.
< The meeting went well but I didn’t hear anything from them yet.
> I hope it was a full day.
> I mean with many clients.
> And I hope they will give you a call.
< It was a tiring day. How was yours?
> Tiring, but productive, thank you for asking.
> Lila will call you in two minutes. She's a nice person. She manages to make me look decent every time.
< You look more than decent and I don’t think it’s all her doing.
5 minutes later
< Talked to Lila. We go shopping tomorrow. Thanks again for the help.
> Don't thank me for that. My pleasure. Have a good evening.
< You too.
The next day, you meet Lila and go shopping together like you agreed. She seems like a fun person and definitely understands your style. Her suggestions are great. but the only problem is the cost When you notice the price tags, you want to leave, but she assures you that it is all taken care of. That’s when you realize Bucky Barnes is paying for this shopping trip. You feel dumb for not thinking about this while talking to him. That’s why he was guarded when he offered help. That usually restlessness creeps up on you because you don’t want his help like this, but Lila convinces you that he is the reason you need new dresses anyway. And it is true. He is dressing you so you look the part. That eases your anxiety and finally, you are able to enjoy your dress hunt. When you come back home, you are completely exhausted but ready for any event he might want to take you. 
*
> Hi
> How are you?
< I’m good, getting ready. How are you?
> I am good too.
> I was wondering if you mind me picking you up...
< You wanna pick me up?
> Yes. I might need your address again, though.
< Noah doesn’t remember?
< I am picking you up.
Oh.
> You should say no if you don't want that.
< No, why wouldn’t I? I just didn’t think you would come without your driver for some reason.
> Do you want me to come with Noah?
> I can.
< I don’t need someone extra to feel comfortable around you, Bucky. 
< It’s up to you. Whatever you wanna do, I will be fine with it.
> Perfect 🙂
> 7:30 or 8? We should totally skip half an hour.
> So boring
< That emoji makes me feel like I did something wrong and you are being kind.
< Both are fine by me.
> See you at 8 then 😁
> Since you hate the other emoji
< Oh this one is much better.
< See you at 8. Leave your overthinking hat at home.
You quickly send him your address.
> Thank you
*
The evening comes even quicker than you expected. He picks you up alone and you have a great conversation on your way to the event. He gives you some pointers about it and the people you will most likely have to talk to and warns you that it’s gonna be boring. And he is right. It is even more boring than the first one. A lot of speeches and conversations with people you don’t know. You try to stay composed and play your part, trying to hide the fact that you are bored as fuck. Bucky comes to your rescue with a fun game. He makes funny comments and on-point jokes before and/or after you talk to someone. His observation skills are extraordinary. He notices stuff that you wouldn’t normally remark. Like a missing wedding ring, so he knows not the mention their spouse during their conversation. He whispers into your ear and makes you laugh the whole night. Hearing his voice that close, and feeling his breath on your neck drives you crazy. Does he know the effect he has on you? Is he doing it on purpose or is he just trying to pass the time as pleasantly as possible? You don’t know. Just like the first event, you leave a little bit early. He drives you back home, offers you a warm smile, and mentions when the next event will take place. You just nod in agreement, already looking forward to it.
*
> Friends or The Office?
> Also hi
< The Office. Love how intentionally awkward it is.
< Hiii back.
> How are you?
> Let me guess who you like the most
> Is he tall?
< Yeah genius, it’s Jim.
< I’m good, how are you?
> I knew you have taste.
> I am good. Now even better.
< Why better?
< Also who else could I like? He’s the only sane person in that office.
> Because I talk to you.
> So true.
He’s feeling better because he’s talking to you. God, that makes your blood rush.
< I like talking to you, too.
< Okay I have a question. What do you think of Karen?
> Karen? Don't make me be a hater while texting.
> It would never end.
> You?
< You know the word hater? I’m impressed.
< I don’t like her either. She tried too hard to make things work.
> I am 34, not 304!
> I feel offended
< It’s so easy to tease you.
> She is boring and annoying. More annoying than that douchebag.
< You mean Roy?
> Yeah
> That punching scene though
< God, that guy is a walking red flag. 
< Pam was truly blind.
> She was. Sad...
< Favorite season?
> Hard.
> Very hard.
> Maybe 4.
> Yours?
< Either 4 or 6.
> Tastee
< You are starting to sound like me 
> Well, I am older, so it's the other way around
< Sure old man. Whatever you say 
> Old but handsome, to quote you
< I can’t be held responsible for the things I say when I’m tipsy.
> Excusess
< Shh you are exposing me too much
As time passes, your conversations become friendlier. You don’t feel like this is something you have to do just to keep your business going. It feels like you two enjoy each other’s company. It feels like flirting. Yet you are not sure if that’s how he feels about all this, too. 
> Hi. Are you home?
< Yeah?
> in a few minutes you might have a delivery
< A delivery? 
< Bucky what did you buy this time?
> I can sense a tone
< Can you?
> A bratty tone.
> You'll see when it comes.
Just a few minutes later you open the door and see a huge bouquet of flowers.
< Jesus Bucky!
< These are so pretty!
< Thank youu.
> No complaining, huh?
> Glad you like them.
> I can complain if that’s what you want.
> I want you to be good and put them in a vase.
< They are already in a vase, sir.
You send a photo of the flowers in your prettiest vase.
> Great.
< I can’t stop smelling them.
> Noted
< I’ve got something to show you. Well two things because I can’t decide.
> Waiting
You send two mirror selfies in two different dresses. The first one is a black dress with a high slit on the right side. The other one is a simple pastel pink dress but the cleavage is on display a little.
< Which one should I wear for the next event?
> You think I am the right person to choose?
< I am your date, aren’t I?
> They both look great.
> Depends on what you want.
< That’s what I think too!
< And that’s why I can’t decide.
< Please help me out.
> Pink?
< Pink it is.
< Thank you.
*
What you didn't expect from this arrangement is how your attachment grows more and more every time you see Bucky. He makes it hard not to miss him with his smile and his jokes, the way he tries to integrate you and always asks how you feel. Truth be told, you're not even professional anymore and you catch yourself wanting to make a move on him every time he compliments you. But you can't, so you're forced to wait for him to do it. And you really hope he will.
*
You probably put too much faith in a rich person because when you see your notification from the banking app, you have to refrain from making a scene. You check twice just to be sure. For some reason, you are paid double the amount for this date and it’s not because he missed any previous payments. No, he just decided to pay you more the moment you started to grow closer.
When you look at him, he immediately catches something's wrong and leans in to whisper. 
"What happened?"
“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” Because you know if you do, your whole act will be exposed.
Bucky nods and looks at the rest of the table. "We're gonna head back home now. It was really nice to see you."
His reaction surprises you. You have the whole night ahead of us and he already paid you double. Why does he want to leave already?
"Of course. Have a good evening!"
“Oh, are you really leaving this early?” Someone else asks.
"Yes. We have plans for tomorrow pretty early in the morning."
“Ah! Too bad. Still, it was nice seeing you two.”
You both nod before you make your way to the door. You absently watch him asking for both of your coats and holding the door for you.
The way he’s acting like everything is fine infuriates you more. You really hoped something was going to happen between you two. It felt like you were headed in that direction, but you are not so sure anymore. Maybe he never saw it that way. Maybe he was thinking the worst of you and he’s just paying you more for everything he considers extra. It makes you feel nauseous.
"I should have made them change the plate…  Do you have an allergic reaction?"
“Yeah, I am having an allergy reaction.” You lash out as soon as you feel safe to react. “An allergic reaction to you trying to buy everything.”
"What?" He looks at you so confused as if he didn't double paid you a moment ago.
“Tell me it’s just a mistake and you didn’t do it on purpose.”
"Do what? Pay you?"
Oh… He did it on purpose. And just like that the last hope you were hanging on vanishes. 
“Yeah, pay me double just as we were getting closer. Is that all I am to you?” 
"All you are to me?" He repeats shocked.
“Someone you can pay for whatever you want.” You don’t wait for an answer. You just keep going. “Of course, that’s all I am. What else can I be? It’s my fault for accepting this… deal. I put myself in this position. Why would you see me as someone other than a hooker.”
"Stop!" He screams back but not as loudly as you do. "What are you saying? What the actual fuck? When did I even imply that? Paying you double has nothing to do with disrespecting you! Contrary!"
“You don’t have to say it! The moment we started to get closer, you decided to pay me double. I don’t need to be Einstein to put 2 and 2 together.”
He scrunches his nose. "How about us getting closer and me wanting to help you, huh? Did that ever cross your mind? Me wanting to help you pay your debt faster, knowing the effort you make to accompany me to these," he gestures to the place behind you. "But no, of course, you didn't because you think the lowest of me. That I would believe I can buy you and your affection!" 
“Help me?” He must be joking. “When I specifically told you I don’t want help!”
"I just don't want you to struggle. Is it so bad?" His voice is soft now while he stares at you, trying to show you he's entirely honest 
“Have you ever stopped for a second and thought how getting help would make me feel? I’ll tell you. It makes me feel like a failure.”
"You're not a failure. And getting help doesn't make anything you did and do less important, especially since it's small. Please..." he sighs. "Let's continue talking in the car at least, it's freezing. You shouldn't get sick."
“Fine. I will get in, but this… this conversation is not over.” He’s right. It’s freezing and you can’t take it anymore.
He nods gratefully and opens the door for you, which you close with force.
As soon as he gets in the car and starts the engine, he turns on the ac, giving you a look. You keep taking deep breaths and avoid looking at him.
"Please... do you really think that low of me?"
"I don't know what to think anymore." You finally look back at him. "Are you gonna drive or are we gonna have this conversation here?"
"I don't want to drive you home upset. I want to talk about it..."
You stop for a second, consider your options. You can't have this conversation in a public place. "Your place or mine?"
*
Money is clearly not an issue for him so he probably didn't even blink to pay you double you realize as you get inside the house. You try not to look around too curiously. Your image in his eye is already as bad as it could get.
"How low do you think of me?" He repeats the same question while he starts to take off his shoes.
“I should be asking you that question.”
"You're the one who thinks I tried to buy you as a hooker."
“What were you trying to do then if not buying my affection? And don’t tell me helping!”
"To help."
“I don’t want help!” You don’t notice how loud you are. “I don’t want anyone’s help! I have to do this on my own. Is that so hard to understand?”
"Yes and no." He sighs. "I get this drive, I had it too, but I wish you could try to see... that you don't have to do this alone. But instead, you think I see you as someone buyable." 
“Imagine when you started your business and had debt, someone had the means to help you, just give you money like it’s nothing and you don’t get to pay it back. Would you accept it? Would you think it’s your success if someone helped you out like that? Just be honest and answer.”
"Fuck no." He sighs. "But you deserve the money. And you put up with the events and your business..."
“Fuck no indeed. I want to do this myself. I have to prove myself I’m not a failure like my-” You stop yourself from finishing that sentence.
"What? Like what?"
“It doesn’t matter. I just need to prove that to myself, okay?”
"How could you think you are failing when you already did so much?
“As long as this business doesn’t succeed, whatever I’ve done so far does not matter. Only the result matters.” You don’t notice you are repeating your father’s words.
"That is bullshit. You think success is based on wins only?"
“It doesn’t feel like winning when you are worried about paying the next month's salaries.”
"That's a worry that honestly doesn't stop. Or at least not for me. Success means failure and worries sometimes. Success means trying and holding on."
“I’m not here to have a conversation about what you view as success, Bucky. I’m here because I’m mad at you.”
"You're mad at me, but you think I am an awful person." He starts taking off his jacket.
“I’m mad at you because you can’t pay me double just because you want to. That’s not how real life works.” 
"Oh, really?" He smiles sarcastically. "I should totally give zero shits about you worrying about paying salaries and having student debt. Totally real-life fun stuff."
“Student debt? How do you even know about that?”
"You mentioned it."
“I don’t remember mentioning my student debt to you.”
He puffs, not breaking eye contact. "I have ears."
“You heard me mentioning my student debt and decided to pay me double?” He’s unbelievable.
"Yes."
“Do you have any idea how much you were paying me before?”
Bucky blushes embarrassed and strokes his beard. "No..."
“You were already paying me nearly a monthly salary. Just for going on a date with you once a week. Do you have any idea how it made me feel seeing that double payment in my account while I was hoping for…”
"Fuck, I want to say I am sorry, but I am not. I am not buying you, no matter how low you think of me. I want to help you. I thought we are already friends."
“Friends.” You give him a bitter smile. “Friends don’t pay each other.”
"Friends help each other." He is getting closer to you.
“Not without the other one asking for help.”
"You're impossible." He sighs. "You can pay me back at some point." He is so serious.
“Which point will that be?”
"Whenever you won't be worried about salaries."
“You said it yourself, that time never comes.”
"Please, doll." He closes his eyes, not even realizing what he said.
“Please what?”
"Can we just stop fighting?"
“We can if you stop paying me.”
"It's your money. You come with me every time. This event was more boring than usual... consider this a bonus for putting up with it and me." 
“I don’t want- I don’t need that.”
"Why not? It's just for now." He seems upset. "Do you want nothing to do with me anymore?"
“I don’t need money to… enjoy my evening with you. I was actually hoping for you to… you know… stop paying me soon.”
"You want to end this?" He doesn't even try to hide his disappointment. His voice starts trembling.
“I want to end the payments.”
"So no more events..."
“I didn’t say that. I said I don’t want you to pay me for that anymore.”
"Oh." Bucky thinks a little. "You want to come to meet more people?" 
“Dear god… You are so dense for a smart businessman sometimes!”
"You are calling me dumb."
“Yeah, because you are being dumb or just acting dumb, I don’t know anymore. You can call me if you want me to accompany you as your friend… or date, okay? It’s up to you now.” You reach for your stuff to leave his place.
"I just want to know why you'd find it so bad for me to pay you. Would you not pay me?"
“Don’t you really see the implication?”
"What implication? Tell me what you think."
“Would you pay me if we had sex?”
He freezes, completely taken aback. "What?"
“You heard what I said. Would you love me like you paid me, too?”
"You want to fuck me?" He asks unsure. As if he doesn’t know if he heard you right.
“Do you need things spelled out for you like this?”
"Do you mean it?"
“I have already said too much, Bucky. I think it’s better if I go.”
He grabs your hand when you turn toward the door. "I don't think you said enough."
“You want me to embarrass myself more?” He rolls his eyes. “I think I have made myself clear enough. Time for me to leave.”
"Come on." He smiles. "You didn't say anything."
You let a frustrated breath out. “Take care, Bucky.”
"Doll, please. You can't leave in the middle of a conversation like this!"
“Of course, I can leave. What else is there to talk about?”
"You asked if I'd pay you for sex."
“And I think I got my answer.”
"No, I would not pay you for sex."
“Because you didn’t even consider that option.”
He puffs, and you notice sweat drops on his neck. "Why did you even ask that? I already said I do not consider you buyable." 
He is very close now, holding both of your hands and staring into your soul.
“Because that’s how I feel every time you pay me to spend time with you.”
"God, doll. You are really fucking impossible. You think I don't want to kiss you or fuck you? I think about it all the goddamn time if I let myself, but we had an arrangement..."
“And that’s why I wanna end the arrangement.”
"Done." His answer is instant.
“So you can take me out on a normal date, maybe.”
"Yeah?" He wraps his arms around your waist, making you drop both: your coat and bag. But you don’t look down even when they hit the floor. 
“If you want…” You feel your voice suddenly getting smaller.
"May I kiss you?"
“Only if you aren’t gonna ask permission for everything.”
He snorts. "Just answer." 
“You may.”
He does, moving a hand to your chin as he immediately tries to deepen the kiss. The way he kisses you takes you by surprise. You didn’t expect him to start this kiss so strongly, but you definitely aren’t complaining. His other hand goes from your waist to your ass, grabbing it over your pants. You gasp in surprise, which interrupts the kiss.
He smiles. "Hi."
“Hi.” You try to catch your breath while he starts to kiss down your neck without warning. Your right hand trails up from his neck to his hair as you let out a low moan.
"Fuck." He starts sucking on a spot below your collarbone.
“Jesus, Bucky…” You try to sound as normal as possible. “Take a girl out to dinner first.”
"You want dinner?"
“Well, not right now.” 
"What do you want right now?" 
“Just keep doing what you were doing.”
He kisses you so sloppily, his hands going under your shirt without realizing. You wrap your hands around his neck and close the remaining distance between your bodies.
"Fuck, you taste so good."
“Maybe it’s the lipstick.” You joke and without letting him answer, you start to kiss him again, immediately using your tongue. He moans in the middle of the kiss and then opens his mouth a little further, inviting you in. Your hands go to the buttons of his shirt.
"Oh, fuck."
“Can I take this off?” You ask for permission the way he did before.
"Please." He is breathing slowly, looking at your hands
You take your time unbuttoning the shirt, testing his patience.
"Doll, please." His mouth finds your neck.
“Please what?”
"Faster."
“That part comes later,” You say with a suggestive tone and he snorts, leaving another kiss on your neck.
"Left you a few pretty marks." 
“Maybe I should give you some too.”
"Later." When you finally finish unbuttoning, he takes it off in a heartbeat. "Hope you won't hate me."
“For what?” He simply rips your shirt in half in response. “Bucky!” His hands grab your bra while you are still talking. “That was an expensive top!” 
"Was." He just rips off the bra, too. "Just like this was on you. Past tense.”
"Do not!" You lift your finger. "Rip off anything else!"
He bites that finger without hesitation, sucking in it further. You try to take your finger back. 
“Jesus Bucky, how am I gonna go back home now?”
"What? You want to go home?"
“I have to go home eventually, you know.”
"I have clothes, you know?" He starts to take off your belt. "Pants too." You can see he wants to get rid of them too.
“You want me to leave your house in your clothes?”
He kisses her. "What?"
You take a deep, annoyed breath. “Fine, I will worry about this later.”
"May I rip these too?"
“No. No more ripping, please.”
"Alright," he says disappointed but lets you take off your pants while he’s simply staring at your breasts.
“At least I have this to wear while going back home,” you say, swinging your underwear.
"You talk so much about leaving."
“Hmm, do I?”
"Yeah." He's obviously trying not to show he's upset, but he's failing. And this makes you happy… the fact he doesn’t want you to leave.
“Does it bother you?”
"No," he whispers and looks at his own pants. "I can just make you feel good, you know? No rush, then I'll drive you home as you want."
You reach for his pants and start to unbuckle it. “I have a mind that… keeps on worrying. I think about stuff I have to do later constantly, but there’s a way to turn it off. At least for a while.”
He tries to stop you. "I can make you feel good, drive you home and take you on a date tomorrow." 
You finally understand what he actually means. “What? No. That’s not what I want.”
"Okay. Just wanted to make sure you understand we can stop like any time."
“Oh, I know. I just don’t want to.”
"Okay." He smiles and lets his hands fall down.
“I feel like you are tiptoeing around me. Where’s that Bucky I see at these boring events every week?”
"He's here, just trying to do everything right. But I don't know what you mean by that Bucky."
"I mean that Bucky who doesn't hesitate."
"This is different though. I don't want you to think I am a douche, you know?" He sighs. "I don't want you uncomfortable."
"Your hesitation gives me anxiety. And I know you by now. You don't need to worry about that." You push his pants down and they pool around his ankles. Impatiently, he takes off his boxers himself and steps out of them.
"Alright then. Should we move to the bedroom?"
But you are too busy to finally look at him, all naked, to hear him. He looks better than you anticipated and that makes you even more eager to touch him.
He tries not to smile, but it's hard.
“Uhm… what?”
"Nothing, nothing. Keep going."
“Okay.” You move closer and start kissing him again. You grab him gently yet firmly and start moving your hand slowly, just to get him used to the feeling.
"Fuck." He moans against your lips. "Feels good."
You gently bite his lower lip while you keep moving your hand. It’s still slow, but you pay attention to grab his balls and brush against the tip, just to see his reactions
"Doll..."
“Hmm?” You stop kissing him and look into his eyes as you decide to kneel down.
"Doll, no." He groans. "Fuck, I really dreamed about this, but let's go to bed."
“If you dreamed about it, why are you saying no?”
"Because we can do something else fun for you too."
“Oh, believe me, this is fun.” You take your tongue out, swiping it on the shaft from the bottom to the top, making him moan immediately. “Do you want me to stop?” You ask, your lower lip touching the tip. He doesn't even seem to hear you.
“Hmm…” And that’s your answer. You take the tip into your mouth, gently licking. "Oh, shit," He moans and without thinking he wraps his hand around your ponytail.
Your tongue swirls around the tip, occasionally swiping on that sensitive spot that makes him moan really loudly. "Holy fuck." He's fully playing with your hair now. "Baby, please..." He doesn't seem to know what he's begginh for though.
“Hmm?” You silently ask while your tongue keeps working on him.
"We should... stop."
You take your mouth off him for a second, just enough to ask: “Why?” Then you take him right back inside your mouth.
"I'm gonna come," he says a little embarrassed.
He might have wanted you to stop because of that, but you have no intention of doing it. You want him to feel good, so you grab the shaft, moving it up and down while you take your mouth off for a few more seconds.
“Then come.” 
Your tongue goes back to the tip, moving in sync with your hand. He can't even ask you if he should pull out because he's already coming in your mouth. You keep moving your head and hand until he finally hisses because of overstimulation.
"Doll."
You look at him while swallowing. “Yeah?”
"Thank you so much, I'm just... fuck me," he groans at the sight in front of him. There is something absolutely sinful about you like this. "I am just really sensitive."
“That’s normal.” You kiss his cock really gently on a spot that wouldn’t cause any discomfort. He lets go of your hair and smiles. You quickly wipe away that line of come dripping down to your chin before he helps you stand up and kisses you hard. You are already unbelievably wet, but the way he uses his tongue takes it to another level. He lifts you in his arms when you least expect and a yelp leaves your lips.
"Gonna take you to the bedroom."
“Yeah, okay.” You wrap your legs around his torso, trying to hide your excitement.
"I'm gonna eat you, okay?" He opens the door with his leg.
The way he says it sends shivers down your spine. You can feel the throbbing between your legs.
"You want to ride my face, pretty doll? Or do you want me on my knees?"
“God…” You think for a second, both options being tempting. “On your knees.”
"You want me on my knees? Want me to beg to eat your pussy?"
“Would you?”
"Beg for it?" He puffs. "For you? Of course."
“Jesus fucking Christ…”
"Just Bucky." He puts you down on the bed and kneels. You laugh a little. His nervousness is definitely fading away. He smiles and starts kissing below your knee. "Please, can I eat you, baby?"
“Oh god… I wanna hear that again.”
"I am begging. Please, allow me." He kisses all the way up.
“It’s all yours.”
He makes the most animalistic sound you've heard from his mouth before and lifts both of your legs over his shoulders.
"Gonna let me do it over and over again?"
“I might wanna do different things in between, but yes…” That makes him smile.
"Thank you." Then he finally starts licking at your entrance.
The first moan you let out sounds like you are trying to catch your breath. Bucky's fingers dig into your thighs when he properly enters you with his tongue.
“Oh god...” That feels amazing. He says nothing, trying to move his tongue around for a little while testing what you like. You instinctively move your hips a little, forcing his tongue closer to your clit.
"Fuck." You barely hear him say as he properly moves his mouth to your clit.
“Yess!” You shake with excitement. Bucky starts to flick his tongue gently on your clit, bringing his hand to your entrance. You don’t realize how you are moving your hips to create more friction. And he adds the first finger inside you without stopping his tongue motion. 
“Ahh, yes.” It sounds like you have been waiting for this forever. His free hand goes up just to squeeze and massage each breast as he adds his second finger.
“Bucky, fuck!” It feels like he’s everywhere. His flicks turn into full licks while his fingers move faster.
“I’m gonna- I’m gonna- come.” You can already feel your legs shaking. He continues the pace exactly like this and moans against your clit.
“Oh fuck. Oh fuckk. God, please- don’t stop. Please.” He doesn't stop, he couldn't even if he tried, eager to make you come.
After a few seconds, something snaps inside you and finally, you feel loose. Your whole body is shaking and you can’t get enough of the way he makes you feel. The movement of his tongue, the way his fingers move… And it doesn’t end quickly. No, he keeps going and you feel the same high over and over again until it’s too much to bear. You stop him by grabbing a handful of his hair.
“That was… incredible.” He smiles, raising his head enough for you to see how wet he is. “Jesus…” His beard is soaked. You had no idea you were that wet.
"Just Bucky." He repeats the same joke as he licks his lips.
“Your beard… it’s so wet.” You are too shocked to react to his joke.
"Wanna clean it for me?" He winks and god, he looks so charming.
“Come here.” You open your arms.
He hugs you immediately, his beard making contact directly with your breasts as he’s spreading your wetness all over them.
"Oops." He giggles. "Guess I have to clean up my mess."
You giggle, too. “You know you don’t need an excuse to suck my nipples, right?”
"What? This is not what I'm doing. I like to clean." 
And just like that, you feel Bucky's tongue all over your tits, making sure to avoid your nipples.
“Hmm… That feels good.” He bites a little the skin on your left breast, and you whine in response.
"Hurting?"
“A little.”
"Sorry, baby." He sucks a little around the bite as an apology.
"It's fine. Come here and gimme a kiss."
"No." He gets stubborn and he finally takes the first nipple into his mouth.
You grab his hair and force him away from your nipple. "You are so stubborn."
"You like pulling my hair."
"I was thinking about pulling it for a long time."
"Why didn't you?"
"Well, I touched it instead of pulling. On our first date." 
"Yes." He smiles giving you a small kiss. "Not enough."
“There’s no way I could pull your hair there, you know.”
"True. I would moan."
"You and me both." You giggle again.
"So you felt okay?"
"Okay?"
He smiles. "More than okay?"
"You have no idea how okay that was."
"Probably not. You get to feel pleasure in ways I never will."
"Poor you. We should totally try to change that."
He snorts. "You want to suck me again? Or do you want to fuck me?"
"I want you to fuck me."
"Yeah?" He kisses your cheeks. "That's easy."
"Yeah?" Your hips move a little, rubbing against his erection. "Then what are you waiting for?"
"Gonna be right back." He tries to get up, but you stop him.
"Condom?"
"Yep. Any preference?" 
"Yeah, none if possible."
Bucky looks at you confused. "What?” He thinks maybe you meant the flavor. “I can find one without it." 
"I meant no condom because I'm on the pill, so it's up to you."
"You sure?" You aren’t sure if he’s excited or surprised.
"Why wouldn't I be? As long as you are clean."
"Want me to bring my blood tests?"
You laugh a little because you know he means it and you couldn’t help but imagine him dutifully showing you the papers. "I will take your word for it, Mr. Barnes."
"Mr Barnes?" He repeats amused as he spreads your legs properly. "Are you gonna call me that when I come inside you, too?"
"Mr. Barnes sounds too formal for that. Gotta find something else for that moment."
He grabs and positions himself at your entrance. "I'm sure you're creative."
You push your hips impatiently. "I will find something fitting."
He enters you without waiting, but he's careful not to hurt you so he stops for a little. You throw your head back because of the way you feel with his cock inside you. A lower, nearly animalistic moan escapes your lips. 
"Oh god."
"Please move."
He kisses you gently as he finally starts to thrust slowly. You are so wet that he's moving so smoothly, dragging your walls every time he pulls back and then filling you up all over again.
"Aren't you a wet little doll?" He shifts his weight on his elbows that he places on both sides of your head.
"I’m so unbelievably wet." 
"Perfect." He buries his head into your neck and starts to move faster.
“I have been… imagining how… this would feel.”
"Did you dream about it?" He doesn’t miss the chance to ask that.
“Once.”
"Only once?" He tries not to sound disappointed, but he fails.
“Yeah, and I was surprised because I don’t dream about sex.”
"How?" He starts sucking harder.
“Ahh.” You moan softly. “During one of those fancy events.”
"Fuck." He lifts his head to look at you. "Did you dream of me fucking you in the closet? Or the baby changing room?"
“In a dark closet. Suddenly you are all over me.”
"Fucking you from behind? Or holding my baby?"
“You were holding me and- ahh. I was trying to- stay quiet. But- you kept fucking me- harder.” His hips move so fast now you can barely speak. 
"Did you scream?"
“I was about to, but I woke up suddenly.”
"Fuck." He groans. "The worst. Did you finish the job?"
“Yeah.” You breathe out. “I was so fucking wet.”
"Just...." He closes his eyes. "I'm imagining you using your little fingers under your panties to play with your clit- Shit."
“And it wasn’t enough.”
"No? Poor baby." He leans in to bite your bottom lip for a few seconds.
“It was frustrating.” You moan when he moves his hips a little harder. “Nowhere near… this.”
"Nothing like my cock? Like us?"
“Nuh-huh.”
"God, can't wait to come inside you... to see you dripping."
“Shit, Bucky. You can’t just say things like that.” It makes you clench hard. You need to come. Now.
"Why not? So fucking hot." His thrusts slow down but become deeper at the same time. "Dripping down your thighs. Gonna clean that up for you and share it." He curses. "Gonna pass you my come in a kiss."
“Oh fuck.” His words, the image just pushes you over that edge. “I’m coming. Oh fuck, please don’t come. Not yet. Please.”
"Why not? Do you want me to pull out?" He teases.
“I need one more.” You say while shaking hard. “Just one more.”
"I'm right here," he whispers assuringly. “I'm inside you, not going anywhere. I dreamed about you too." He pauses to curse. "Fuck, I was fucking my bed."
“Tell me… tell me about it.” The orgasm keeps washing you in waves. Over and over again until it fades away.
"You were in my office at work. Came to talk about a gala or we were leaving from there, I don’t know. And we just... we were suddenly kissing and I was ripping off your dress. And I was simply fucking you all over the desk."
“How did it feel?”
"Not even close to this, but it was good. So good. I almost came in my sleep."
“You didn’t come?” You finally feel like your breath is going back to normal. 
"I stroked myself after I woke up and came. A lot."
“Made a big mess because of me?”
"Mhm." He brings his fingers to your lips. "And you weren't there to help me." 
“I’m here now.”
"Gonna help me this time?" His index finger plays with her bottom lip.
“Oh, I will.” You bite his finger gently. “And no mess this time. I’m here to take every drop of your come.”
"You sure you can?" He teases. "What if it's too much?"
“It’s all mine. I don’t care if it’s too much.”
"I'm all yours."
“Oh, Bucky.” You feel like you are melting. You kiss him on the lips passionately. “I’m all yours, too.”
"Yeah?" He smiles and starts thrusting faster. "Aren't you a pretty little doll? All mine, ready to take my come."
“Yours.” You repeat and that familiar pleasure starts to build up again, but you want to try something else. Something you have been imagining. “Can you… flip me over?”
"Sure," he answers a little surprised, and helps you move.
“I have been imagining how this would feel.”
"Thought you did it only once." 
“You know dreaming and imagining are different things, right?” You tease him. You can’t see his expression, but you know he made a face right after hearing your words.
"How many times did you imagine it?'
“Oh, who knows? A lot of times.”
"Tell me what did you imagine when we were like this." He squeezes your hips, so turned on to see your on all fours.
“You fucking me hard.”
"How hard?" He teases leaning in to kiss your back.
“As hard as you can.”
As soon as he starts to properly thrust inside you, a few gasps and whimpers leave his mouth. The positions opens you up in a different way. 
"God, this is... fuck me."
“Yeah, I would say- the same.” It’s hard to speak when he is pounding you like this.
"You're making such a mess on the bed, baby. Around my cock. God, so fucking wet."
“Should I apologize for the mess?” You ask cheekily because he seems so gone.
"You should." He squeezes your ass. "By making a bigger mess."
“I think- that’s- possible.”
"Yeah?" He fucks you even harder, properly using his knees and your hips. "You gonna come?" 
“Yeah! Please!”
"Please what?" 
“Please, daddy.” The words leave your lips before your mind can register them.
"Holy fuck, what did you just say?" He barely manages to keep going, just slowing down. He looks at you as if he doesn't know if he imagined something, and that's how you  realize what you said.
“Shit! I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” You start to panic.
"Hey, baby." His voice is soft, assuring. "What are you sorry for?"
“I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I was just… thinking that.”
"God, baby." He tries to turn your head to look into your eyes by grabbing your chin and titling it up. "You think of me as your daddy?"
“Is it bad if I do?”
"Yeah, it's bad because I can come any second when you call me that." He kisses your forehead. "Be a good girl for daddy and try to come, okay?"
“God, Bucky.” You moan because of his words. You’ve imagine this, indeed, a lot of times, but hearing it? It’s something that can’t be described.
He pulls your hair. "Daddy."
“Oh, fuck.” It turns you on even more and you don’t know how that’s even possible. “Yes, daddy.”
"Did you imagine this, too?" He is leaving you breathless with the way he is pounding you, yet he still demands an answer. "Did you imagine calling me daddy while I fuck you like this?" 
“Yes.” You are so close to coming. So close that you can taste it. “I did- so many times.”
One of his hands finds your right breast and sqeezes. "Please, come for daddy. Gonna be a good girl and come?"
“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuuckk, I’m coming!” The way your orgasm hits you makes you lose the last drop of control you had over your body. You can’t think of anything beside Bucky and how good he’s making you feel. His pace quickens for a second before he comes. He doesn't manage to warn you he's coming too, but he doesn't have to. His moan and the feeling of his come are enough.
He keeps it going until both of you finish and when you do, the only thing that you can hear is your loud breaths. Then you feel a trail of kisses all over your back.
“Oh my god,” you finally manage to speak.
"Just Bucky." He reaches your neck. "Or daddy."
You laugh. “God, you are so smug.”
"Smug?" He smiles and pokes your skin with his tongue. 
You turn around, finally fully facing him. “Yeah, daddy is real smug.” It feels so good to be able to call him that without worrying about anything else.
"Thank you."
“Who knew Bucky Barnes had a daddy kink?” You can’t help but say. 
"Not Bucky Barnes himself." He snorts.
“You just found out?”
"Yeah." He burst into laughter a bit embarrassed. He’s never thought about being called daddy before, especially not in bed, but with you? With you, it just makes sense. It feels hot.
“Oh god, I am so lucky.”
"Did you always have a daddy kink?"
“I didn’t even know I had one before meeting you.”
Bucky's smile is so big. "Fuck, I am the lucky one." He kisses you properly now, immediately trying to open your mouth by licking your bottom lip. 
“I thought I would freak you out, but look at you, fully embracing it.” 
"How could I not?"
“You liked it that much, daddy?” You wrap your arms around his neck playfully.
"God, I did. You're so hot when you say it. And the way you looked at me."
“How did I look at you?”
"Can't even explain it... I just wanna see that over and over again.”
“Well, you can.”
He scrunches his nose in the most adorable way possible. "Thank you."
“For what?”
"For everything. And for wanting me."
You frown because of that last part. “What does that even mean?” 
"Boring older man."
“Handsome older man, who I have been fantasizing about for a while.”
He giggles shily. "You make me sound like a dirty dream."
“Well, it’s because you are.”
"You are mine too."
“Lucky us.”
"You might never get rid off me." He kisses your forehead.
“I might be okay with that.”
*
It has been a while since you started to date Bucky. After that night, everything slowly started to fall into place. You found a great balance between your lives and your relationship, always making time for each other. You spend a lot of nights at his place. It doesn’t feel like his anymore, it feels like you are living together. Everything is so natural. 
“I just got the most unexpected call ever,” you say, still feeling fairly surprised by the job you got offered.
"What was it about?" Bucky is still in bed, surprisingly. He's usually the first the get up and go to the kitchen in the morning.
“Mrs. Moore called me to ask me if my bakery could do the catering for their next event.”
"Oh my god. That’s amazing."
“It is! But I am not sure if I can actually do it.”
Bucky frowns and immediately taps on the bed. "Come here."
You listen to him and continue talking while moving closer. “I haven’t given her the final answer yet, I acted like I need to check in to see if we are available, but the more I think about it, the more I notice how hard it would be.”
"I am gonna say something, but I don't think you'll like it."
“You will say you can help me out.”
"Yep." He gives you the biggest smile. "But it doesn't take away anything from your success or your efforts, okay? Just hear me out."
You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’m listening.” You have been warming up to the idea of him helping you. Maybe not financially, but he has been helping you. He has the best ideas and a great perspective. So you won’t say no to hearing him out.
He reaches to hold your hand. 
"Let me take care of the transport and hire the extra stuff who can serve at the party. I'll call a friend." He pauses. "Just this once, okay? You can curse me out later, bit let me help so you can get more jobs in the future. This is a great opportunity."
“How did you even know I needed help with transport?”
"Baby," Bucky giggles at your confused pouty face. "It's a first experience. You don't have employees for this and it's a big party." Then he shurgs, like it wasn’t that hard to guess.
“Transport, service staff, and extra place to store the food. These are the problems I need to solve if I wanna do this.” You list the things you need to be able to take this job.
"Is that a yes?"
“That’s an I am considering it.”
In response, he simply raises on his knees and kisses you, with his hands on your neck. "Good girl."
“I didn’t say yes yet!”
"Ihm."
“If you assume I will say yes, it’s definitely gonna be a no.”
"No, I am very, very, very fucking horny right now."
“Just because I might say yes to your offer for help?”
Bucky blushes. "It's very hot. And I'm so hard..."
“Jesus… You really want a sugar baby, don’t you?” He must have. He loves the idea of taking care of your every need. That would explain why.
"I just like doing this for you."
“Do you like being useful or do you like spoiling?” You insist. You want him to say it.
He makes a sound from the back of his throat. "Can we just focus on you?"
“No, please… Tell me why exactly this turns you on.”
"I don't know." You see the sides of his neck getting red.
“But I wanna know.”
"Please, just..."
“Gimme an answer and I will give you one back.”
He takes a deep breath but doesn't look at you. "I just love spoiling you even though you don't let me."
You smile. “I might let you a little bit.”
"Just..." He sighs embarrassed. "Just ignore me, okay?"
“This is me… saying yes.” You spell it out for him.
"For my help?" He finally looks at you.
“Yeah.”
"Wow.” He sounds completely surprised. “This is... great." He tries to keep his emotions under control. "Then go ahead and uhm, call Moore back as I send a few messages, okay?"
“She can wait a little bit longer.” You gently grab his erection. He has gotten really excited just because you let him help you. It’s just unbelievable yet you love it. You love that he cares about you this much. “I need to take care of daddy first.”
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yougotthatbilly · 1 year
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→ member: jung jaehyun → genre: sugar daddy!jaehyun | slowburn | smut → playlist: alone with you x alina baraz, break the ice x britney spears → word count: 24k → warnings: LEGAL age gap, praise, oral; giving & receiving, unprotected sex (be smart pls), jaehyun likes her head to toe (literally), ‘do/can i call you daddy now?’ jokingly, one real ‘daddy’ (comes with the territory lol), petnames; baby, thumb in butt, probably more ↳summary: Having a sugarless- sugar daddy is proving to be more difficult than planned.
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Dark brown eyes resting above prominent eye bags that look like they came from either genetics or lack of sleep—possibly both—are the first thing your eyes zone in on when you approach the table the owner of said eyes is sitting at, waiting for your arrival. As soon as he noticed your presence and looked up from his phone, it was hard to pay attention to anything else. 
Until he smiled. 
The curve of his lips and flash of his teeth are friendly and welcoming, with the slightest hint of shyness, and you truly see that pictures don’t always do people the justice they deserve. Faint crows feet appear due to his smile reaching his eyes, and somehow, they only add onto his appeal.
“Hey,” his gentle, deep voice pushes through your thoughts. He stands and your eyes travel up to follow his face before flashing downward at the sight of his hand being presented to you, and back up to his eyes. “I’m glad you could make it,” he says as he shakes your hand softly, letting go soon after to motion for you to sit across from him with both hands. 
“Me, too,” you softly smile back, setting your purse beside you. 
You finally look away from him to take in your surroundings. When you walked in, you barely paid attention to anything, only having the mind to scan people’s faces until you found one you recognized. Now, after greetings and the initial shock of just how gorgeous this man is, you can take in how this is a pretty nice place; everyone dressed in business casual attire, like this is where businessmen and women come after a long day or week to unwind. Dark, sleek wooden surfaces and furniture paired with deep red decorations that give the place a simple and mature feel.
Taeyong catches your eye from the bar nearby and he quirks a brow in question. You blink once and look away.
“I knew from your photos that you were pretty, but you’re much more beautiful in person,” is said when it’s clear you’re done observing the place. Under the dim, artificial lighting of the overhead lamp above your table, the softest pink flush on his ears is clear as he compliments you, and it leaves you both intrigued and confused.
“And you’re much more handsome,” you compliment right back. There was a fear of him being a catfish or using a picture from when he was younger to reel you and others in, and you’re pleasantly surprised and thankful the man waiting for you is actually the one from the photos. The angles of his face are soft and so are his features; gentle yet mysterious eyes and a pouty bottom lip that’s caught in between his teeth because of your words.
His fingers drum against the wooden tabletop before he pulls his hand into his lap. “Would you like some wine?”
“Sure.”
He raises his hand, pointer finger lazily lifted. In no time a pretty server is at your table, setting wine glasses in front of the both of you. 
“Red or white, sir?” she asks, and you guess he’s a regular here. 
“Whatever she wants.”
Both pairs of eyes land on you and make you blink.
She’s gone and back in the blink of an eye when you choose red, carefully pouring the wine of your choice into the glasses before she disappears again.
“If you don’t like it, let me know and we can get you something else.”
You gently swirl the deep, pretty colored liquid around a few times then sip.
Oh. This is nice.
“How was your day?” he asks.
Long. Extensive. “It was good,” you say instead. “Pretty productive and eventful. How about yours?”
“Productive but not quite eventful,” he laughs softly. He relaxes into the cushion behind him, and you note that his shoulders are broad even when they’re not up to his ears in a tense manner. His black button-up looks nice on him, stretching across his shoulders and chest in a snug fit. “Is it alright if we talk a little before getting into things?”
“Of course,” you nod. There hasn’t been a conversation since he asked you for your number a week ago other than when tonight’s date was planned, so you don’t quite know him. You’re someone who relies heavily on your gut feeling and right now there are no warning bells going off in your head, but chatting for a while will definitely give you a better feel of things. 
“Tell me a little about yourself?”
You tell him what you’re sure he already knows from your bio; your name and age, where you’re from and a few of your hobbies, in addition to your occupation. He listens intently, eyes taking in your features as he nods along to the information he’s receiving, drink never too far from his mouth. And when you can’t think of any other description of yourself that’s appropriate for a first meeting, you drink a little more.
“How about you?”
He hums, visibly racking his mind for something to tell you.
“Well,” he says a moment later. “I’m Jaehyun, I recently turned thirty-eight, and I’m from Seoul.”
And when he stops there, his face showing he doesn’t know what to continue with, you realize he isn’t very social. The pretty much awkward atmosphere, the shyness of his smiles and fidgeting of his fingers make you wonder if this is also his first time doing something like this, if he’s just shy overall, or both. This is nothing like what you thought it would be. You expected to be asked a lot of personal questions from the jump. You expected to get an earful of how great and successful he is, to get an earful of all the things he could do for you in exchange for whatever he wanted. You didn’t expect a socially awkward sugar-daddy-to-be.
Luckily, you’re a great conversationalist.
“So what brings you to New York?” 
“My father owns a few businesses and I chose to run the one here.”
“Do you like it here in the states?”
His eyes squint in thought before answering with, “I’m not sure,” and when your head tilts to silently ask him to elaborate, his explanation is: “I lived in Connecticut for a little when I was younger and I don’t remember much about it, and I’ve been here for a few years but I only go to work, cafes, business events and home if I’m not traveling.”
“You travel a lot?”
He rubs his lips together and tilts his head side to side with a pondering hum. “You could say that.”
“So how often would we meet?”
Jaehyunhyun blinks at your question. 
“Sorry,” you chuckle, looking past his shoulder and meeting your cousin’s gaze once again. “We haven’t even gotten into that territory yet.”
“No, you’re fine. I’m just glad you’re still considering it.”
Well, things are going well in your opinion, and even though he’s socially awkward, as far as you can tell, he’s good company. You’re good with conversation and take pride in brightening situations, so this arrangement could go well. He’s a busy guy so you wouldn’t see him often, which means there won’t be any major changes in your lifestyle, and that’s perfect. You have no complaints so far.
The last of your wine is sipped and you eye the last small drop that sticks to the bottom of the glass, almost tempted to ask for a refill just because it’s the weekend, but you know Taeyong will chew your head off and you’d rather not hear that on the way back to your place.
“Everything is ultimately up to you, Jaehyun,” you shrug. “I’m down if you are.”
His arm is up again and in seconds the server is back with the bottle of wine in tow. She moves to pour more into your glass but you stop her with your hand. “I’m okay, thank you.”
Jaehyun squints as his glass gets filled half-way.
“You didn’t really like it, did you?”
A smile teases at the corner of your mouth. You’re amused and touched that he actually cares about what you like already. 
“I promise I did,” you laugh, resting a gentle hand on the back on his own that found the table again. He doesn’t flinch at the contact but his eyes grow in size for a split second. “I’m a bit of a lightweight and I do have to drive home.”
When he’s convinced, you bring your hand back in front of you.
“Mind me asking how you found yourself looking for a… companion?” you ask him, grinning at the way his dimple makes an appearance at your choice of words.
“It was suggested, actually,” Jaehyun responds. “I said something about always being left alone at business events because all of my partners are either in relationships, married, or like to sleep around. Plus, all I do is work, so a friend told me about the website and here we are now.” You nod along, imagining being left alone to just drink and talk business while his business partners disperse with their romantic partners. It must be boring. “What about you?”
“Also suggested,” you chuckle. “I love my job and I live pretty comfortably, but I have goals I’m working on and I’d like to do so without having to think about a bill or getting another job. My best friend successfully found a perfect match so she was sure I would, as well.”
“Before anything,” he clears his throat, looking down at his glass and watching the deep red slosh in circles due to the movement of his hand. “I want you to know I meant what I said about no special favors. I truly don’t want anything other than your company… maybe a few times a month?” he glances back up at you with flushed cheeks. Cute. “Would that work for you?”
“That’s perfect. Do I call you Daddy now?” 
He chokes on the sip he was in the middle of taking and you have to bite the inside of your lips to stop a giggle from coming out. “I’m kidding.”
He blinks at you a couple of times before shaking his head. “You’re funny.”
“Thanks,” you wink.
“If it’s alright with you, we could discuss all the paperwork the next time we meet. I wanted the both of us to get a feel of one another before we made any legal decisions.”
“That’s fine with me.” 
“I want you to do something for me.” At the rise of your brow–which was only out of curiosity and to prompt him to continue--he backtracks. “That sounded really suggestive, I apolo—”
“Jaehyun,” you call, biting back another laugh. The panic in his eyes goes away at your touch. “we already discussed there would be no sugar given, it’s okay. What do you want me to do?”
“Think of a price if you haven’t already.”
It’s up to you? 
“Really?” You ask. He nods. “You’re not going to decide? I thought that was how this worked?” You’re comfortable showing your naivety in this situation because it’s quite obvious he’s no pro at this either.
Jaehyun frowns at your words and sets his glass down, leaning forward. “Just like in any healthy or ethical relationship, business or personal, this works both ways. So with anything from this point on, if you want something or have concerns about anything you have to let me know immediately, alright?”
You nod, taken aback. “Got it.”
You’re getting the vibe that he’s serious about every move he makes, every word he says, and you can see why he’s probably such a successful businessman. He hasn’t said much but he doesn’t beat around the bush, and the transition in his aura from having small talk to talking about business, the way he just laid down the law, admittedly sparked something in your gut.
“Think about it and we’ll discuss it next time.”
“When will ‘next time’ be?”
“Let me check,” he mumbles, digging for his phone in his pocket. 
At the duck of his head, a waving hand from behind him catches your attention. Taeyong’s brows are raised, his fingers forming the okay sign. You blink a single time once more.
“I fly back in on Wednesday next week,” Jaehyun says. “Does Wednesday afternoon work for you?”
“Sounds good,” you nod.
He glances back down at his phone. “I don’t mean to rush things I’ve got an early meeting tomorrow,” Jaehyun nibbles on his bottom lip. “Was there anything else you wanted to discuss tonight?”
You look up as if you’re thinking, and when Taeyong meets your eye, you subtly tilt your head in the direction of the door and naturally blink three times. “I think we covered everything so far.”
Taeyong finishes his beer and pays for it out of the corner of your eye.
“Okay then,” Jaehyun slides out of the booth and stands to your side, extending his hand for you to grab.
Add gentleman to the list of characteristics.
You grab your clutch in one hand then his own hand with your other and scoot yourself out of the booth with his assistance. He doesn’t let go, his grip loose but warm.
“It was really nice meeting you.”
“Likewise.”
--
“So?”
You cut your eyes at your cousin as you buckle your seatbelt.
“Can we get out of the parking lot before he comes out and before you start questioning me?”
Taeyong grumbles something under his breath but backs out of the parking space nonetheless. And as soon as you’re on the main road he repeats himself.
“He’s nice,” you hum, leaning forward to undo the clasps around your ankles, wiggling your heels off with a sigh. “I like him. He’s cute.”
Taeyong scoffs. “I can’t believe you’re really doing this.”
He wasn’t onboard with it one bit, which is why he immediately agreed to be your backup just in case. The whole ride to the bar consisted of him making sure you had the signals down packed; blink once if things are peachy, blink twice if you feel uncomfortable, and blink three times (he said thrice but that word rubs you the wrong way) when it’s time to go. Oh, and repeating that you didn’t need to do this. You appreciate him and his worries but it’s not like he’s going to help you with your debt.
You’re young, confident in your looks, confident in your personality. Nine times out of ten, you have no trouble getting what you want, so why not get a sugar daddy that doesn’t have sex as a requirement?
When Sooyoung told you about getting a couple grand a date from her guy—more if she threw in a hand- or blowjob—and she has well over enough money to blow after paying bills and saving, you were intrigued. You’re no prude or anything but you knew you wouldn’t want to jump in offering ass to almost sixty-year-old men, so when she told you that you can make it clear that you weren’t down for special flavors and that some relationships are innocent, you thought why the hell not. 
Plus, you’ve been bored and wanted to do something new, something exciting.
“Well believe it because we’re meeting again Wednesday,” you lilt. “He’s a sweetheart, really. You know how I am with catching vibes.”
“Pft. It could be an act,” he grumbles. You sigh and dig your phone out of your clutch, going to your music app. “What if he’s a narc—”
Thank god for bluetooth.
Taeyong glares at you when you turn the volume up and your favorite song blasts from his speakers, but he doesn’t try to carry on the conversation, instead singing along because you’ve played it too many times for him to not know the lyrics and because he finally caught the hint.
--
And when you get a message an hour later asking if you’ve made it home safely, you trust your gut a little more.
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Today you woke up late and your outfit and hair definitely showed it when you first arrived at work, but thankfully you keep a travel-sized stash of makeup and hair tools in your desk and you were able to get yourself presentable before your first-period students piled in and took their seats. 
Being behind on grading tests and homework from last week with another pile of tests from yesterday you need to get done in time for your students to be able to see their mistakes and retest before break in a few weeks, potential sugar daddies have definitely not been on your mind.
Not until you get a message around two-thirty while you’re halfway through the homework pile.
[2:15pm] Jaehyun: Good afternoon, I will be landing shortly. Do you still want to meet today?
“Shit.”
“Language.”
You completely forgot Jisung was staying after to retake a test from weeks ago. But from the looks of it, he’s done and just chilling on his phone. A glance at your desk lets you know he’s already gotten up, walked over to your desk and put his test down in the corner. This is exactly why you shouldn’t stay up until three in the morning lesson planning and only getting three hours of sleep. 
“Hey,” you beckon him over to the seat next to yours. “Wanna help me?”
“Do I get extra credit for this?” he asks as he eyes the pile of work and the answer key you give him.
“Maybe.”
You’ll probably give him a donut or something tomorrow.
[2:17pm] you: Hey! I’m finishing up at work right now so just let me know when you’ve arrived.
After Jisung finishes his pile and you’re almost done with the new pile you started, your phone starts buzzing.
“Hello?” you answer, making sure to turn the volume down because Jisung is a nosy little thing.
“Hey,” oh, you forgot how smooth his voice is. “I’m at this cafe a couple of blocks away from the bar we last met. Would you like to meet me here and then maybe find something else?”
You take in the few tests and homework assignments left to grade. “Yeah, that’s perfect. Send me the address and I can be there in about twenty.”
“Alright, I’ll see you then.”
“Did you start dating?”
You ruffle Jisung’s hair. Absolutely not telling him just so he can tell his partner in crime. You wouldn’t hear the end of it tomorrow if you did.
“Thanks for helping, hun. Am I taking you home?”
--
You barely make the twenty minute mark from the time Jaehyun sent you the address and you have to stop yourself from running inside of the cafe like a mad woman. Dropping Jisung off was no issue, his house was on the way. Your eyebags, smeared eyeliner, and dry ass lips were the problem (how some of your students can manage to fancy you when you’ve occasionally gone to school looking like a mess is beyond you). An extra five minutes or so in the parking lot of your destination resulted in you looking far better, but not nearly as good as you did the first night.
Not nearly as good as Jaehyun does sitting there waiting for you with a small mug in his hand while he holds a newspaper with the other. He’s just barely slouched, a white button-down covering his upper body this time. He looks photoshoot ready and you’re grateful you took the time to fix yourself up.
“Hey,” you greet quietly as you sit in the chair across from him, hooking your purse onto the back of it. “Sorry I’m late. I had to give one of my students a ride home.”
Jaehyun puts the newspaper down after folding it in half. “You’re not late, no worries.”
He looks tired. His bags look like how yours did before the second layer of concealer for the day, his eyes low in comparison to the last time you saw them. You wonder how far he traveled. 
“How was your flight?”
“Twelve hours too long,” he sighs. When he makes a move to take another sip of his coffee, he pouts at the realization his cup is empty. “I could barely sleep.”
“We could’ve met another day, you know?”
“I know. I wanted to see you.” He’s not flirty, but upfront. You like it. “Did you think of anything to do?”
“Well, you look like you could fall out any minute now,” you half stall, half voice genuine concern. “Maybe we should wait until your next free day to actually do something?” You’re more than fine with just sitting here for a while longer and having a collection of brief conversations with him and looking at each other until he gets too sleepy or has to leave because of another early meeting in the morning.
“Are you sure?”
You’ve been speaking all day. This is a nice wind-down from repeating yourself and having to raise your voice.
“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I sat in a cafe and just chilled,” you sigh, taking another glance at your surroundings. 
“I’m getting another cup. Do you want anything?”
--
A thousand a date seems… excessive. Sooyoung is high maintenance so it makes sense for her to want that much as a minimum, especially when she goes on a date once a week. But for you, that amount is a lot when meetups with Jaehyun are going to be really chill. So when he suggests two grand every week since you still couldn’t think of a price for your possible relationship, choking on the sip of tea you just took is a reasonable reaction.
“I mean, anything less wouldn’t make much sense to me. You’re a teacher so you probably don’t make that much when student loans are involved, right?”
You blink stupidly at his bluntness. “Well, yes. But--”
“Do you have someone to help pay your bills?”
“No…”
“And you said you have goals. I want to help invest in those. Are you opposed to that?”
“Not at all.”
“So what’s the problem?” If he partakes in the debating and persuading at work, you’re sure deals end with additional zeros in his bank account. He has you stumped and you’re almost positive he proved his point with little to no thinking process required. “I was actually going to suggest more, but I figured we’d start off small. Do you just feel uncomfortable with that amount?”
It’s interesting yet almost frustrating how he’s kept the straightest face this whole discussion. Just sipping on his coffee and never breaking eye contact. You need to take notes so that your higher ups take you seriously when you address an issue. 
“No, it’s not that.”
“So,” he clears his throat, sliding a piece of paper and pen closer to you, “do we have a deal?”
“I guess we do.” You sign the contract (that you’ve already looked over a couple times) and shake his hand when he presents it in front of you. “You’re intimidating when you talk business, you know.”
His smile is wide as he shakes his head, telling you he’s been told once or twice. 
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Big, excited brown eyes stare down at you as you hold Nala up in the air and softly wiggle her. Her tail wags wildly when the click and push of your front door resonates throughout your home.
“Babe?”
“In here!” you call, still giving your baby your undivided attention.
Sooyoung walks in the living room, leather pants and a fur coat adorning her figure. She tsks at the way you’re laid out on your couch, completely neglecting the powerpoints and Kahoots you were making a while ago. “Procrastination at its finest.”
Nala is taken out of your grasp and Sooyoung gives her the same treatment you just were, so you take the time to stand and stretch. “You shouldn’t have asked me out while I was in my zone. Now I’m not touching that until tomorrow,” you wave in the general direction of your Macbook.
She snorts and sits down while you go to your room to get ready for your date.
The two of you walk into a bar with R&B Hip Hop playing at the perfect volume some time later. The lights are dim and set the perfect mood for drinking and catching up. She leads you to sit at the bar and orders the both of you something that won’t exactly get you fucked up, seeing that the both of you have jobs to attend to in the morning. 
“So,” Sooyoung spins towards you, crossing her legs dramatically. 
“So?”
“Jaehyun. Tell me about him. How are things going?”
You learned from the first few times of being with Jaehyun that you’ll be doing most of the talking, but he always responds and asks a question or two, genuinely interested if the tick of his eyebrow means anything. It’s nice to have someone new to share stories with, especially since your schedule clashes with your best friend’s. Also because within the last couple of years, most of your experiences with guys have been the same: mostly physical attraction from both sides and it turning into a relationship where you get the shit end of the stick and get hurt. When it comes to Jaehyun, yes the physical attraction is there, but though you don’t know much about each other, you enjoy the platonic bond that’s building… as well as your growing savings account. You don’t text unless someone sends a simple have a great day at work or good night text (and when it’s sent to you, you usually find yourself smiling before getting out of bed or falling asleep). You never talk about anything deep like your past, dreams for the future (aside from briefly discussing the business you want to start up eventually), or theories about life, but the trivial conversations you have about work and the news and whatever else is always enough. 
“He’s kind of awkward but it’s nothing unbearable,” you begin, eyes wandering as you think of ways to describe him. “He’s tall, fine as hell for him to be almost twice my age, and…” you trail off, head tilting as you think.
She looks at you impatiently. “And what?”
“He’s such a gentleman,” you finally come up with. “I get to do whatever I want with no complaints, he makes sure my fridge and pantry are stocked, and doesn’t require a lot of my time. I can’t complain at all. Especially when he’s investing in me.”
“Show me what he looks like again.”
You pull up a picture you took with him during your museum date and hand her the phone. 
“You look good together,” she compliments after a while of observing the photo. 
You agree. 
“You sure you wanna keep up your abstinence when he’s your sugar daddy?”
You scoff lightheartedly, taking your phone back. “Is that all you think about?”
“I mean, no, but,” She gestures weirdly with her hands. “He looks like that. And he clearly treats you amazing. I would’ve been busted it open for him.”
“We both agreed on sugarless interactions,” you humph proudly. “But if this lasts a while, I would consider it.”
No point in bullshitting her when she’s known you for over a decade. You’ve been abstinent since your last relationship because you don’t like the thought or feeling of sharing such intimate energy with someone who doesn’t give a fuck about you or wouldn’t even come to the rescue if you caught a flat on the side of the road. Your last few situations with men haven’t been the best and you’ve chosen to focus on healing and growing, and most times than not, sex has interrupted that healing and growing. You don’t want to repeat the same lessons after learning them.
“Is someone crushing on their sugar daddy?” she practically sings around her straw, eyes full of mischief.
“I can’t talk well about someone without having a crush on them?”
“‘He’s such a gentleman,’” Sooyoung repeats in an exaggerated dreamy voice, topping off her performance by dramatically fitting her chin in the hand that’s propped up by her elbow on the bartop. “You already knew he wasn’t going to act like guys our age but you’re still gushing over him and considering fucking him.”
“Crush is too strong of a word,” you roll your eyes at the knowing smile she gives you. “He’s kind, attractive, successful, respectful, and helps me out financially in addition to expanding and stocking my wine collection. How else am I supposed to feel?”
“Sure, Jan.”
“Plus, he’s pretty...” you trail off to find the right word. “Guarded. We only talk about me or surface level things. Kinda hard to really like someone you hardly know.”
“Don’t act like you’re not into the mysterious type,” Sooyoung says flatly before sipping. “There was Sehun, Hyungwon, H–”
“How’s Yuta been treating you?” 
And that’s all it takes to direct the conversation to her life and stop coming for yours. She gives too many explicit details but you can’t find it in you to complain because her stories are always interesting as fuck and you aren’t getting any action. She doesn’t exactly have feelings for him, only caring about how great the sex is and the amount of money that goes into her bank account, so she can’t quite relate to the very slow building fondness you feel for Jaehyun. She was right, though. The concoction of his attractiveness, success, and mysteriousness has definitely made you develop a crush. You have other things to worry about, so you don’t exactly think too much of it and just enjoy your time with him a few times a month. 
You call it a night after one more drink, and on your way out your phone vibrates. 
[10:50pm] Jaehyun: Brunch tomorrow? 
[10:51pm] you: Sounds good
[10:56pm] Jaehyun: I’ll pick you up at 11:30. 
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You can’t help but smile at the image of Jaehyun in his work attire, sitting in the booth with a grease-stained menu in his hands as he figures out what he wants to order. Brunch didn’t go quite as planned with the work you had to finish, but dinner worked perfectly for the both of you.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?”
Your smile only widens. “Didn’t expect you to be the hole-in -the-wall burger joint type, is all.”
“I’m treating myself,” he explains. “Yesterday was a successful day and what better way to treat myself than a greasy meal and your company?”
Your brows shoot up at his last couple of words. “My company, huh?”
He nods, averting his attention to the menu again. Though you want to press the situation a little more, you drop it, but you’re now smiling for a different reason. 
“So you said yesterday was successful?”
“Mhm. I closed an important deal and it was finalized yesterday.”
 “Congratulations. Our ideas of treating ourselves are certainly different, but I’m glad to be your treat,” You wink, having one more jab at him. And the color of his ears deepen. 
Somewhere in the midst of ordering and having small talk, the topic of stocks and investment comes up. 
“One of the smartest things I’ve ever done for the company was to invest in Bitcoin and that’s basically why I got the opportunity to run the office here,” he tells you.
“I kind of understand the concept, but I don’t understand the benefits and all that.”
This prompts Jaehyun to go on a lengthy explanation of how it works. He explains something called Blockchain then how the rapper 50 Cent accidentally got a lot of money because he invested in it when a fan of his wanted to buy an album and that was their only form of payment. You prop your elbow up and rest your chin in your palm, his words go straight over your head. In the middle of explaining how Blackbear got rich off of it and that’s why he makes terrible music now, he pauses and blinks.
“I didn’t mean to go on a tangent, I’m sorry.”
“No.” You shake your head. “Don’t apologize, I wanna hear more.”
He looks at you skeptically, so you slip your foot in between his calves and look at him expectantly. You don’t understand the details but you appreciate the topic because it’s something he’s interested in and it’s the first time you’ve seen him talk about something with this much passion. His eyes were shiny and everything. 
You raise your eyebrows and blink until he picks the conversation back up. 
The glint in his eyes comes back while the two of you eat. Yeah, definitely crushing. 
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You open your front door after a loud, sudden knock resounded throughout your apartment to find no one, but instead a few boxes and a bag waiting for you on your door mat. You tilt your head to the side and think for a moment. You didn’t order anything. 
Looking into the red bag to see if there’s a sign or clue of who these came from, you find a white envelope with your name written in cursive on it. With another glance around you, you decide to open everything inside instead. It’s cold. The packages range in size, so you pick up the smaller packages and kick the biggest one inside of your apartment. 
Seated at your dining table, you open the envelope and pull the card out. 
Saw these and thought of you. I hope you like everything. -Jaehyun 
You fight the smile that wants to take over your face. You figured it was him or Sooyoung. Your best friend likes to send you random things when she comes across something she knows you’d like but wouldn’t buy yourself. 
Actually looking at the bag, Cartier is written across it, and your eyes widen. Inside, there are two different sized boxes. The smaller one is their love ring, and the bigger one is the matching bracelet, both in yellow gold. With a grin, you nibble on your lower lip and read the card that comes with the jewelry. 
Too excited to wait until you look at the other packages, you slip the ring on your middle finger. It doesn’t go past your second knuckle, so you try your ring finger, and it fits perfectly. Next is the bracelet, which is a bit loose, but you’re sure that’s an easy fix. 
Grabbing your phone, you take a picture of the jewelry on you and send it to your sugar daddy.
[1:23pm] you: Thank you so much, Jaehyun. I love them.
His reply comes a lot quicker than you’d expected.
[1:24pm] Jaehyun: Of course. How do they fit?
[1:26pm] you: I could size down on the bracelet but the ring is perfect. 
[1:27pm] Jaehyun: We’ll get that fixed soon. Did you get everything else I sent?
Oh yeah. There is more. You put the jewelry back in the respective boxes and move on to the biggest box, which turns out to be a blender and juicer in one. This actually brings the smile out. The last time the two of you were together, you’d said in passing that you want to start making your own juices and smoothies and stuff instead of buying the processed ones from stores. 
The next box is a few bottles of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti and now your teeth are showing with how much bigger your smile gets. 
[1:35pm] you: Yes I just opened them! I appreciate everything, thank you Jae.
[1:40pm] Jaehyun: Anytime, beautiful. Remember, you can ask me for anything you want and I’ll get it, okay? [1:41pm] Jaehyun: I want you to actually tell me when you want or need something [1:41pm] Jaehyun: And we’re still good for Saturday, right? I want to pamper you a little. 
He’d mentioned it the last couple of dates, that he’d like you to send him pictures and screenshots of things you’d want and need when you come across them, to not worry about spending your own money when you’ve got him. 
[1:45pm] you: Yes sir. And I’m all yours Saturday. 
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The moment you step into the nail salon, an older woman at the front greets you with a genuine smile and welcomes Jaehyun back.
“The usual?” she asks Jaehyun, to which he nods and returns her smile. “And what about you, honey?”
“A full set with gel polish, please.”
She grabs a basket of the gel polish swatches and hands it to you. “When you’re ready you can go to seat three.”
You eye the colors, but the same few colors you always gravitate towards catch your eye. 
“Hey,” you call quietly to get Jaehyun’s attention. “Can you pick a color for me?”
Not only would you like a change, you’re also curious about his taste. He wears nothing but neutral colors, as far as you know, so you wonder if it’s just for the job or if he is really just that simple of a man. 
The lady on the other side of desk three smiles brightly at you as you put your purse on the hook next to you. “Did you pick a color yet?”
You point to Jaehyun, “I let him decide for me today.”
Her eyebrows slowly rise. “He’s finally gotten himself a girlfriend?” she asks the woman beside her. They just exchange a look that you don’t quite understand or care enough to try to understand.
Right as she begins prepping your second hand, Jaehyun sits down beside you at desk two and sets his chosen color beside you.
A neutral pink. Fitting for the season, but a color you definitely would’ve chosen yourself. 
“This with the white tips. I like that look,” he explains. Good taste. You haven’t had french tips in a while. 
He watches the nail technician he was assigned to as she works, the two having small talk and you take a wild guess that she’s the woman who usually, if not always, does his manicures, meanwhile you watch the tv above your tech’s head. This compilation of aesthetically pleasing videos is playing and it’s admittedly hard to take your eyes off of it. 
The video plus getting pampered has you relaxed in your seat, the stress from the school week that just ended melting away. Your nail technician is so gentle with you, you could doze off. She eventually asks a few questions like if you’re from around the area, if you know there’s a bruise on the middle finger of your dominant hand (from holding pens/pencils all damn day) and more all in a gentle voice, and before you know it she’s done with the structure of the acrylic and the filing, sending you off to rinse your hands off well.
You come back to the sight of Jaehyun stifling a big yawn behind his free hand, shaking his head as if to gather himself right after. Once again, instead of getting some rest after a long flight, he’s out with you. This is the third time. A big part of you is flattered, really, because you enjoy being with him and the feeling is clearly mutual. But, you’re sure he didn’t get proper rest last night or today.
You stick your right hand out for the tech to start on and place your free hand on his bicep to gain his attention. He blinks at you, confused, and you ignore the sudden warmth that spreads in your chest at the adorable look on his face. 
“Why do you keep postponing sleep to take me out?” you ask.
The blinking continues, taken aback at getting called out. “Because I look forward to being with you after business trips?” he asks more than states, and you just continue to admire his straightforwardness. 
“Do you trust me to drive back?” You caress his blushing cheek with your thumb because you can’t help yourself when the color fades in, and he doesn’t move away. If anything, he leans into the touch, much to your surprise. “You look like you could fall out any second.”
He nods slowly and you return the gesture with a smile, muttering out a soft ‘okay’ before putting your hand back in front of you. 
“I’m glad to see you’ve found someone that can deal with your busy schedule,” his nail tech says, sighing like a relative that’s been waiting for him to get married for the longest. “You two are a lovely couple.”
The two of you thank her, both glancing at one another. 
“Speaking of schedules,” Jaehyun says as if just remembering something. “Are you busy on Saturday?”
“Not if you need me.” Saturday was just going to be spent reviewing lesson plans and doing self-care with Bella.
His dimples appear at your response. “We have a business event to attend to.”
“Ah,” You nod and squint in mock suspicion. “You’re buttering me up to surround me with a whole bunch of men talking about boring business stuff. Got it.”
“It’s not even like that,” he chuckles deeply. “You know I need you by my side.”
And yeah, that is in the contract, but the tone of his voice and look in his eyes make you believe that your agreement isn’t the only reason for his words. Now you’re the one with a warm face.
Back in the front of the salon, after Jaehyun has paid, he gently grabs your hand and lifts it up to look at your nails. He nods, satisfied with how they look, clasping your hands together to lead you out of the salon. Not before thanking and saying goodbye to the staff.
Jaehyun opens the door of the driver’s side with his free hand and gestures for you to get in. When you just stand there, he says: “You said you’d drive, right?”
“You’re one hundred percent sure?” 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” 
Your initial thought is why would you be because even Taeyong doesn’t let you drive his baby, but you don’t question him further. You just slip into the car and he’s fighting a smile at the way all of your teeth are showing due to your excitement. He closes the door and makes his way into the passenger seat. 
You’ve never felt so giddy to adjust mirrors and the seat of a car before. 
“Where to?” you ask, seatbelt on and ready to go.
“The mall we passed on the way here. I saw something I thought you might like.”
You absolutely adore the matching Saint Laurent bag and heels; black with gold accents. 
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“Oh wow.”
Jaehyun’s reaction to you opening your front door is enough to let you know he thinks you look as good as you feel, if not better. Admittedly, the heels are the most uncomfortable pair you’ve ever walked in, but when they look this pretty, paired with the sleek, tight emerald dress that you were gifted a couple days ago with a note reminding you of tonight’s events, who really cares about comfort? You’ll likely be sitting down most of the night, anyway. 
You smile slyly at his lack of words. “Hey, handsome. Come in, I’m almost done.”
“You smell good,” is what he says as he walks past you and into your home, and you’ll take it. You did bring out your favorite scent tonight after all. 
“Thank you,” you chuckle. “I’ll be right back.”
Maybe you walk a tad bit slower than usual because you have a great feeling he’s watching you as you disappear into your room. You grab your purse and trench coat, check your lip gloss, then make your way back to where you left Jaehyun. 
“Sorry,” he begins as you walk up to him, prompting you to raise a brow. “Good evening. You look amazing and I was lost for words for a moment.”
“Thank you,” you repeat. You fix the flap of his tuxedo jacket as you return the compliment. “And thanks for the dress. You have a weirdly good eye for what looks good on me.”
“When I saw the dress I just knew,” Jaehyun shrugs, eyes definitely on what the neckline exposes before they move up to your eyes. “Ready?”
On the way to the event, Jaehyun gives you a small rundown of what to expect. 
“Most of the people you’ll meet are cool, they may talk your head off, though.”
“Nothing I’m not used to,” you shrug. Being a teacher calls for lengthy conversations you’d rather not participate in. “‘Most,’ though?”
“There are a few guys I’m personally not fond of and wouldn’t be working with them if it weren’t for my father’s connection.”
You nod. “I’m sure I can make interactions a little more digestible for you. I mean, that is why I’m here.”
“Just let me know if it becomes too much. I’m not opposed to leaving early.”
You’re sure you’ll be fine, but you hum in affirmation.
“Where are we going?” you ask. 
“My restaurant.” Of course he owns a restaurant. “When we have special occasions I shut it down to the public and we have our events there.” 
You lightly hit his shoulder. “You’ve had a restaurant this whole time but let me struggle to pick somewhere to eat for the last couple of months?”
He grins, grabbing the hand that hit him to kiss your knuckles apologetically. 
“It’s cute to watch,” he admits, laughing at the glare you send him. 
It’s almost as if Jaehyun turns into a different person when the two of you step into the restaurant. Instead of the shy smiles you’re used to, you’re met with the sight of his grin and lidded eyes as he returns the greetings he gets while you walk past the bar where most of the men are seated and standing around to wherever he leads you, left hand on the small of your back. Even the smile he gives a few that show all his teeth don’t give you the usual feeling you’ve grown accustomed to. The usual warmth in your chest travels down to your abdomen as you witness him in his element, around his employees, business partners, and others. You smile and follow Jaehyun’s lead perfectly, but in the breaks between speaking to random people you catch yourself looking at him from the corner of your eye.
Yeah, you like this side of him.
You’re led to a table and Jaehyun pulls a seat out for you to settle down in. 
“What do you want to drink?” he asks, hands still on the back of your seat from pushing it in, bent down to your level. And your body decides to become hyper aware of his proximity, of his minty breath fanning against your ear. You turn to catch his gaze, and he licks his lips. 
“What are my options?”
His response is a deep hum, followed by: “I’m sure I’ve got whatever you have a taste for.”
You squint a little, observing him.
“Yeah?” you ask. And the grin you receive in return confirms your suspicions. He’s flirting. 
“Whatever you’re getting is fine.” 
“I’ll be back. No one should bother you,” he promises before he’s off to the bar.
No one is apparently a tall man with long, black hair that’s pushed back and an undercut. And a smile you can’t decipher. 
“It’s nice to finally meet you, beautiful,” is the first thing he says, leaning his weight onto the hands he sets on the table. “I’m John.”
You look him up and down. “Nice to meet you, John.”
You’re stuck on introducing yourself, unsure if he really knows who you are. You remember his face when vague introductions were made, but he’s the only one that has done more than just stare and smile at you. You briefly look in the direction Jaehyun left to and he has a flute in each hand, caught up talking to an older man.
“I’m not trying to get at you,” he reassures you with a laugh. “I take it you’ve never heard of me and I’m hurt, honestly. I’m Jaehyun’s best friend.”
That explains a lot. 
“John.” Champagne is set down in front of you, but before you can thank him, he’s speaking to your new acquaintance. “Let’s not do that thing you like to do.”
“Am I not important to you?” Johnny asks dramatically after they give each other a hug. Jaehyun ignores him as he sits down beside you “You’d think after all these years I’d come up in conversation with your–”
“You’re doing the thing,” Jaehyun interrupts. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”
John’s smile is slick but he leaves without another word. But not without a wink that makes Jaehyun’s face somehow get straighter. 
“He’s your best friend?” you ask before taking a sip of your drink. It’s dry going down, and you make a mental note to get something else once you’ve finished this flute. 
“I question myself on it, too.” The drink goes down smoother for Jaehyun. “I don’t know what I’d do without him, though.”
“You’re a big question mark,” you laugh lightheartedly. 
“What do you mean?” 
“I just don’t know much about you.”
There’s a moment of silence as he slowly nods his head, and you almost regret saying anything. While your best friend was right about mysterious guys being your type, you’d think after being in each other’s company for so long you’d know a little more about him than just the basics and his everyday life. With the tiny crush you’ve acquired, your curiosity has increased, but you’ve never brought the matter up because you almost feel as if it isn’t your place to. 
“What do you want to know about me?” he finally asks. His flute is set on top of the table and he leans into you, giving you his full attention.
“Whatever you’re comfortable sharing. Nothing crazy like your childhood trauma or anything but I’m just interested in you as a person.”
You enjoy the small details you learn about him each time you meet, you just want to go a little deeper than the surface. You’ve gotten the chance to hear about his family and his relationship with them a little, but you’d like more. 
You don’t think you’re doing this sugar baby thing correctly. You probably shouldn’t be so invested in who Jaehyun is as a person outside of his status and money wiring. You definitely shouldn’t be liking him to the extent that you do. 
The man beside you hums, rolling his lips together like everything you’ve said since John left requires extra processing, which leads you to down more of the dry drink anxiously. 
He ends up scooting his chair closer to yours. 
“I’ve been told I’m boring,” he confesses.
“Quiet, maybe,” you correct him. “But I doubt you’re boring.”
“Ask me whatever you’re interested in knowing about and I guess I’ll let you be the judge. Does that sound good to you?”
Nervousness transmutes into excitement that you have to bite down, literally biting your lip to stop yourself from smiling at this little breakthrough. 
“Sounds great.”
“You have to reciprocate, though,” is Jaehyun’s condition. “I definitely want to get to know more about you, too.”
--
More of Jaehyun’s close friends and the employees that aren’t afraid to walk up to him and speak about something other than work come by the pair of you, and you’re perfectly content with mostly just sitting on the sidelines and observing. Dinner won’t actually start for another half hour, apparently, so now is when everyone is mingling. Comments have been made about how the two of you look good together, even some separate compliments about you, but mainly directed at him. 
An older man puts a hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder, making his presence known and stealing his attention away from the conversation Jaehyun is having with an intern that so clearly looks up to him. One glance up tells you all you need to know about this man. Jaehyun’s smile turns fake. 
“Mr. Park,” he greets politely, nodding to the intern to silently tell him they’ll talk later while standing, hovering over the elder. 
“I just wanted to congratulate you on the big deal again,” Mr. Park says, gaze trailing down to you. You throw him a polite smile. “And to say hello to the beautiful woman you’ve been hiding from us.”
And there it is. The compliment is completely different from the one John indirectly gave you, his tone enough to create an uncomfortable atmosphere. You slowly rise to your feet anyway, extending your hand towards him to shake. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Park.”
“And she’s got manners,” he continues. Your hand is grasped, but lifted up to his mouth, and he plants a kiss onto your knuckles. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
As you pull your hand away, you introduce yourself. You discretely wipe your hand off onto your dress and intertwine your fingers with Jaehyun’s. 
“A gorgeous name for a gorgeous woman.” The line is as outdated as he is but you keep a pleasant expression on, thanking him. “Why is this my first time seeing you?”
“Conflicting schedules,” you say. “But I had to come and celebrate with him this time.”
“You’ve caught a good one,” the elder man winks. “Better keep her close. Never know who’d want to take your place.”
His laugh annoys you. The sound is high pitched and almost taunting. 
“Very unlikely they’d get the chance to, but thank you for the compliment.” You lift your hand to caress the nape of Jaehyun’s neck, getting him to look down at you. “He’s perfect, how could anyone else even compare?”
And there’s the shy smile you’re familiar with. 
“Yeah?” Jaehyun asks, so you continue to milk your performance for Mr. Park. 
“Mhm,” you nod, letting your hand rub down his chest, intensifying your gaze. Nothing but solid muscle is felt beneath the fabric of his shirt. “You know how good you make me feel.”
Jaehyun doesn’t have a comeback, but his smile widens as he lets go of your hand to slide it to the small of your back, pulling you even closer to him—he smells so good. He cranes his neck down until his nose brushes your own. Having him this close, his breath fanning over your mouth, your own breathing gets heavier. At the corner of your eye, the older man continues to watch the interaction, and when you lift your chin just a little to brush your glossy lips against Jaehyun’s, your audience finally takes the hint, telling you it was nice to meet you and congratulating your date before briskly walking off. 
“Was that too much?” you whisper when it’s just the two of you. “Did I make you uncomfortable?” 
Jaehyun laughs, more to himself, caressing your exposed back with his thumb. “Not at all.”
“I don’t like him,” you confess, hand still on his chest. Peeling your body from his own isn’t an appealing thought right now. He doesn’t make a move to do so, either. “He made me uncomfortable so I had to return the feeling. I hope he enjoyed the show.”
“So I’m perfect, huh?” The brunet prompts, a teasing smile playing on his lips. 
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re the perfect package,” you say matter of factly. “You’re kind, respectful, successful, and handsome with a great head on your shoulders…” The sight of his tongue swiping over his lower lip–licking over your peach flavored gloss– momentarily distracts you. 
“Even though you don’t know much about me, you still think so highly of me?” Did his voice get even deeper somehow? 
“I’m sure you’ve got your fair share of skeletons in your closet but who doesn’t? And after seeing you interact with everyone I can see why half of them look up to you.”
You can’t get your eyes off of the lower half of his face, can’t find it within you to care that he’s definitely noticed by now. Especially when he smiles, the skin around his nose creating what looks like whiskers. 
“I guess I know who to go to whenever I doubt myself now, huh?”
Smoothing your hand back up to the nape of his neck, you hum. “I like to think I’m good at making people feel good.”
His tongue peeks out to wet his lips again before he clears his throat, hand slipping to your waist as he takes his time detaching from you. Your own hand drops pathetically. “Do you want another drink?” 
“Just water, please.”
At his lack of presence, you sit back down, blinking in disbelief. Jaehyun’s a smart man. He has to know how him touching you like that—holding you like that—affected you. Every interaction makes you fall for him a little more, makes you desire him a lot more. 
You close your eyes and sigh. “I like to think I’m good at making people feel good,” you mock yourself under your breath. 
When you peek at Jaehyun while he’s at the bar, you notice he takes a moment to himself to take a deep breath, laughs to himself, and shakes his head before proceeding to get two glasses of the water you requested.
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Spring break. 
A week without having to wake up at the asscrack of dawn, without three periods of high schoolers getting on your damn nerves, in addition to a few teachers having sticks so far up their asses and other unorganized, difficult staff and faculty. Not as long as winter break but the weather is nicer and you can go to the beach to relax and unwind this year.
Taeyong’s girlfriend has a beach house that she told him to invite you to because she knows with your profession you’d highly appreciate the peace and quiet, and you agreed immediately, your bags packed containing mostly bathing suits and sundresses. A week at the beach where you don’t have to put much effort into doing your hair and makeup unless someone decides they want to go out for dinner? Perfect. 
“Hellooo?”
Taeyong appears a few seconds after his greeting, holding up an untouched smoothie in one hand and a brown bag you’re sure has a muffin in it in the other one. Bless his soul.
He has a big smile on his face and the black rimmed sunglasses with red lenses that you got him for his birthday and a sweatsuit similar to the one you’ve got on. 
“Aw, you wanna be like me.”
He rolls his eyes once he sees what you’re talking about. “Are you ready?”
You scan your bed. Toiletry bag, chargers and hair products and tools inside of your suitcase, check. Shoe bag, check. Accessories, check.
“Ready,” you nod, finishing up by zipping up your suitcase and shoe bag.
When he’s by your side he bumps your hip with his, telling you he’s got your bags and to just take what’s in his hands.
“I know you haven’t eaten yet,” he gives you a parental look and effortlessly picks your heavy ass suitcase up to settle it on the floor and extend the handle. “so I got you something small because Seulgi is cooking for us right now.”
You hum a thanks, slipping your slides on.
“Be good while I’m gone, okay?” you coo to Nala as you pick her up and hold her out in front of you. She lets out a tiny bark. “I’ll miss you too, sweetie.”
A kiss to the top of her furry little head before she’s free to roam around as she pleases.
“Don’t forget the alarm.”
“Yes, mother,” you mock, and when his mouth opens to ask another question you quickly add, “I texted Jisung the code and Nala’s schedule. Now go.”
When your music starts playing in the car, Taeyong side eyes you.
“You listen to the same three songs, Tae,” you deadpan.
He doesn’t even try to deny it, instead, starting up a conversation on what you’re not going to do to embarrass him since it’s your first time meeting his girlfriend.
--
Taeyong gently sets down all of the bags at the front door, then beckons you to follow him quietly. 
Music is blasting and a feminine voice is singing along. When you two round the corner you’re greeted with the sight of hips moving side to side, her back to the two of you as she cooks.
There’s already plates set up at the table on the other side of the kitchen, and in the middle of the wooden tabletop, there’s a variety of sides, a bottle of wine that has recently become your favorite, and another bottle of sparkling water.
You stay put at the entrance of the kitchen while Taeyong sneaks up behind her, hands behind his back as he leans close to say something you can’t hear in her ear. Her voice cracks when she screams, body turning around to immediately fight him, fists positioned until she sees it’s just her boyfriend. She calls him a jerk and pouts, but then her arms are around his neck for a quick hug and kiss, eyes widening at something else he says before her attention snaps to you. A big smile takes over her face and she all but pushes him away to make a beeline for you.
“Will you be uncomfortable if I hug you right now?”
You blink. “No?”
She wastes no time to do just that, rocking you side to side with a sigh. “I’ve been waiting to meet you. Taeyong’s told me so much about you,” she laughs, giving you a big squeeze before letting you go. “Hi, I’m Seulgi. I asked Taeyong what you like to eat but he’s no help and he wouldn’t give me your number,” she rolls her eyes. “He said something about you being embarrassing.”
Not only is her beach house lovely, with a beautiful view of the beach that you haven’t even fully gotten to see yet, she’s gorgeous and kind. You like her already.
“I’m not picky,” you wave dismissively, Taeyong snorting, “nor am I embarrassing,” you direct a glare at your cousin when he passes on his way to get the luggage.
It would’ve been nice to have a chat or two with her before officially meeting.
“Let me show you your room.”
Seulgi grabs your hand softly and leads you up the stairs, makes a right then opens the second door on the left.
Huge bed with black and white sheets and a white comforter, huge tv on a black wooden dresser that matches the nightstand beside the bed.
“Sorry for how dark it is, my sister decorated it.”
Taeyong comes in and sets your bags in front of the bed, then he’s got an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders.
“Closet is right there,” Seulgi points to a door on the right side of the main door, “bathroom is here,” her finger flies to the other side of the room. “If you need a nice bath you’re free to use the one in our room, just let me know so we can get out of your way. Any questions or concerns?”
“Nope,” you take another glance around the room. “I’m good. Thank you for letting me stay here.”
She gently swats a perfectly manicured hand at you. “Please, if you ever need to get away from the city for a couple of days just let me know, you’re always welcome to stay.”
You might be looking at her the same way Taeyong is right now. Completely enamored.
A timer sounds from downstairs, Seulgi perking up.
“Food’s done. Come down whenever you’re ready,” she says to you and Taeyong, patting him on the back before heading downstairs.
“I love her.”
Taeyong laughs with a nod, taking a seat at the foot of your bed. “Yeah, me too. I knew the two of you would hit it off but I was still nervous.”
“When you fuck up I’m snatching her,” you say with a wide smile as you walk out of the room.
Lunch goes amazingly. There’s endless conversation filled with learning about each other and you only try to embarrass your cousin once just because of the lecture in the car, to which you earned a flick on the forehead for, but Seulgi pinched his arm for you. You get both sides of the story on how they met at the gym, your cheek in your palm as you watch the couple reminisce with banter and heart eyes, appreciating the display of love.
Clothes get changed into bathing suits and then the three of you are walking barefoot in the sand, headed closer to the ocean. The walk is short, and only a couple of minutes later towels and lounge chairs are spread out, the cooler filled with water bottles and wine coolers is set down somewhere in between, and all of you are lying down under the sun.
The star is blazing and you’ll never admit it to him, but you’re thankful Taeyong asked if you applied sunblock before you stepped outside (“I’m a responsible adult, Taeyong. Of course I did.”). The breeze against your skin is pleasant combined with the bright, hot sun. 
Conversation naturally slips into silence, Seulgi on her stomach to tan her back, Taeyong up and becoming one with the ocean because he takes astrology seriously now. You check the texts Jisung sent less than an hour ago, updating you on how the walk with Nala went and that he ate all of your grapes with a smiling emoji. Your eyes roll when you tell him to eat all he wants.
A soft call of your name takes your attention off of your phone and directs it to the woman the voice came from.
“Yeah?”
“Are you in a relationship?”
You snort. “I’m very single.”
An intrusive thought of Jaehyun surfaces, but you push it out just as fast as it arrived.
She frowns.
“I’ll try to keep down the affection with Taeyong in front of you. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Even with her invitation, you’re the one that’s kind of interrupting a romantic vacation, whether they view it that way or not. Your plan is to be a ghost, chill on the beach and read as much as you can and let the couple do all of their couple activities without the thought of you being here until it’s time for dinner or any other group event.
“Don’t worry about me,” you smile, adjusting your sunglasses. “I don’t mind PDA.”
“Just let us know if we’re being gross, okay?”
You nod, but you doubt you’ll catch them being gross often with how you’ve planned your visit.
An hour after Taeyong snatched your phone out of your hand and dropped it in the sand beside you to throw you over his shoulder and bring you into the water with him, you’re exhausted and smell like salt. You don’t know if a shower has ever felt this good before. The water’s temperature is just right, the pressure is great, the loofah that was waiting for you is perfect, and it could also be the many wine coolers and shots you downed, but you feel amazing. The more it sinks in that you don’t have to deal with fifteen through eighteen-year-olds nor do you have to plan anything for them for the next six days because you already lost sleep making sure you had papers printed and powerpoints made a week in advance, but your students do have homework and study guides complete before Monday, the lighter your body feels. Oh, you’re going to sleep amazingly tonight.
A long swipe of your hand across the foggy mirror shows you an image of you looking the most content you’ve seen yourself in a while. Your skin is a little darker than when you first arrived and glowing, Eyes heavy from the drinks and sleepiness, the smallest of smiles playing on your lips. 
Tightening your towel around you, you get to work combing your drenched hair out. There’s music playing from the speakers around the house, faint but loud enough to recognize the beat, your hips moving along to it. You squeeze some product into your hand then smooth it throughout the detangled half of your head before doing the same on the other side. 
The calm atmosphere is ruined by your name getting called by a familiar yet unexpected voice and your body jumps because of it. The mirror has cleared up for the most part and when you lift your eyes from the reflection of your fingers in your hair to the reflection on the man in dark clothing you scream, bringing your hand to the secured knot that’s  keeping your towel and turning around. 
What the actual fuck.
“Shit, Jaehyun,” you place your free hand over your heart, exhaling loudly.
A loud call of your name from your cousin sounds from downstairs but you’re too busy staring at the man in front of you dumbly. He’s looking at you the same way. Heavy footsteps up the stairs end when two concerned faces pop up behind him before you can open your mouth and ask how the hell the two of you are in the same place right now.
“Oh,” Seulgi says, wide eyes moving back and forth between the two of you before she pushes Jaehyun into the room that you now know is behind the extra door you peeped before getting into the shower and her voice goes out as she asks, “when did you even get here?”
The look on Taeyong’s face shows he’s waiting for his girlfriend to be far enough away for him to ask, “Isn’t that-”
You nod. “Yep.”
“Come downstairs when you’re done?” Seulgi asks, popping her head back into the bathroom. Once you nod again, she pulls Taeyong away with her and shuts the door. 
You finish up your hair and get dressed quickly. You don’t understand how the hell you ended up in this kind of coincidence, but your buzzed mind doesn’t bother to try to put any pieces together, especially since you’re on the way downstairs to get answers. 
“Why didn’t you tell me you were on the way?” Seulgi asks from the kitchen.
“You knew I was coming…” Jaehyun’s deadpan voice makes you smile, but you straighten your face when you round the corner and get into their line of sight. You make your way beside Taeyong, whose eyebrows are pulled in as he stares at the side of the newcomer’s face. A touch of your hand on his arm relaxes his tense form and breaks his one-sided stare off, eyes soft when they land on you. Soon everyone’s attention is on you. Jaehyun doesn’t seem surprised anymore. More like he’s just taking in your reaction to everything, seeing how he should regard you.
“So I forgot to mention my cousin would be here,,” Seulgi starts with an awkward, apologetic smile. “And I forgot to mention you were coming,” she says, looking and pointing at you. She proceeds to introduce you and Taeyong to Jaehyun and vice versa.
You push yourself off the table and walk up to him, hand presented between you two for him to shake. “Nice to meet you, Jaehyun.”
His lips go thin before he lets out an amused breath through his nose. He grabs your hand and gingerly shakes it. “Likewise.”
--
A knock on the half-closed door grants you access to the view of Jaehyun slowly sitting up on his bed, one hand caressing his chin while the other holds his phone. 
“So,” you hum, leaning against the doorframe. “Looks like we’re together this week after all.”
The other day he told you he’d be on vacation for a week so he couldn’t meet up with you, which was perfect because you were in the same situation, and now look at you. The cousin of the love of Taeyong’s life is the man you meet up with weekly. the man that adds money into your bank account weekly. You’ve sobered up since the bathroom incident and honestly, you’re pretty happy to spend more than a few hours at a time with him. 
“All week, at that.”
“I’m excited,” you admit. “If it storms, your bed is fair game, right?”
Jaehyun shakes his head with a smile, but responds with: “I’ll keep the doors unlocked.”
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When you knock on Jaehyun’s door the next day around noon, it takes a moment for him to grant your entrance, and when you open it he’s on his laptop. 
“Is this not a vacation for you?” you tsk after catching a glimpse of the screen.
He lets out a deep chuckle. “It is, but-”
“No buts,” you interrupt him. “If it isn’t detrimental, I’d like your company on the beach.”
“So we’re not pretending we don’t know each other?”
You take a seat next to him on the edge of his bed. 
“Taeyong was there the first night we met,” you admit, to which Jaehyun nods. 
“You came prepared.”
“You could’ve been a creepy seventy-something year old man trying to get his dick wet,” you say, and he chuckles, nodding again. “I don’t think he’d say anything to Seulgi, honestly. But even if he did, we’re grown.” You shrug. 
Jaehyun saves a document and exits out of it, closing his laptop to put it to the side. He finally looks at you for more than a quick second, and his gaze lingers on the bikini and the see-through cover up you have on. 
“That’s a pretty color on you,” he compliments before getting up and walking to his suitcase. 
“Thank you.” You watch him as he squats down to open his luggage, rummaging through his clothes until he pulls out a pair of swim trunks. In your internal excitement that you’ve successfully pulled him away from work to come to the beach with you, you fail to decipher what the expectant yet amused look on his handsome face translates to when he’s back to his full height. 
“Are you comfortable?” Jaehyun asks, the corner of his mouth lifted. You open your mouth to question what he means but when he slowly lifts his shirt off, you understand. You nibble on the inside of your lip.
How bold do you want to be? 
You’re on vacation with your sugar daddy, even if that wasn’t the original plan. In a beach house, alone—the couple went out to get more groceries because Seulgi got carried away yesterday in the kitchen. You know exactly how you feel about the man before you, and even though he’s still hard to read, his glances and touches either give you an idea of how he might feel, or they just make you delusional. You doubt it's delusion, though, if you’re being honest. 
The contract, though. 
“I’ll wait for you downstairs,” you finally say after a long moment of silently staring at one another. “Want me to pack any drinks for you?”
“It’s only noon.”
“You’re on vacation,” you counter, hand lingering on the door under the guise you’re just still having conversation. All of those hours in the gym have done him well. 
“A couple of beers wouldn’t hurt, I guess.” He shrugs. 
“There ya go,” you lilt, smiling widely, finally taking your leave. 
You’re definitely going to make the most of this trip. 
--
With only sunglasses and black swim trunks, Jaehyun makes his way towards you on the beach after a while. You’re in the midst of putting on sunscreen, struggling to reach the middle of your back.
“Do you need help?” he asks, sitting next to you on your lounge chair instead of the one you set up for him a couple of feet away. 
“Please,” you exasperate. You hand him the bottle and turn your back towards him. He rubs the lotion onto your back with the perfect pressure, starting from your shoulders and gradually making his way down to your lower back. Head tilting to the side, you let out a hum of appreciation. “I just know you give good massages.”
“I’ve only given one or two,” Jaehyun admits, hands still going even though he’s covered basically every inch of your back. His fingers slip under the horizontal strap, spreading outward and grazing over the side of your breasts. “Always been on the receiving end.”
“Well,” you sigh, enjoying his lingering touch. “I’ll gladly be your test dummy. I’ve got some knots in the back of my neck and my feet could definitely use some TLC.”
Jaehyun chuckles, adjusting your bathing suit strings before handing you the bottle. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Do you need me to put some on your back?” you ask, happy to return the favor. 
He thinks about it for a moment before he nods and turns. You shake the bottle and pop the cap open before squeezing the sunscreen onto the palm of your hand, throw the bottle to the side and rub your hands together before running them up his back. 
“You talk about me,” Jaehyun laughs breathily when he shivers a bit at your touch. You hum in question, working your fingers into his shoulders, feeling the tense muscles and having the need to release some of the tension while you’re here. You appreciate how his muscles feel under his smooth skin. “Might have to start going to you for my bi-weekly massages instead of the spa.”
You enjoy spending time with him. You enjoy learning new things about him. You really enjoy the intimate moments the two of you share.
“I think that’s something we could arrange.”
Finishing up, you rub the residual sunscreen on your hands down his arms and give a squeeze, signaling the end of his impromptu massage. 
“What’s the plan for the day?” Jaehyun asks once the two of you are laying side by side in the chairs. 
“Sit in the sun for a while, get in the water for a while, drink until I feel like I’m one with the ocean, and leave once I’m burnt out,” you list for him. “You down?”
He nods. “I am.”
And when it’s time to get in the ocean, the waves are stronger than you thought they’d be. Nothing crazy, but with how deep you wanted to go, the water smacks into your face sometimes.
“Come here,” Jaehyun finally says after laughing at your cute struggle. He grabs your waist and tugs you into his body, and after you place your hands on his shoulders, he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. 
The added height and being pressed against his toned body make the experience even better. 
The rest of the time spent in the water goes by like this, not many words exchanged, but you lightly clinging onto him, his hold on you strong but not restricting, and the two of you just enjoy the surprisingly almost empty beach together. You leave when both of you are raisined, and come back to the beach house to Taeyong finishing preparing lunch. 
You can’t remember the last time you were in a jacuzzi. 
Taeyong urged you to get in because he wanted to spend some alone time with Seulgi while they cooked dinner for everyone and you had no qualms. You made sure to grab a bottle of wine and a wine glass before getting kicked out, though. 
You’re in the middle of pouring your second glass when you hear the sliding door open and close, then Jaehyun is walking towards you with a towel slung over his shoulder and blue swim trunks sitting low on his hips.
Is he genuinely this oblivious to how captivating he is?
“I got kicked out,” he tells you, kicking his flip flops off. 
“Join the club.” You raise your glass towards him before taking a sip. 
You watch him as he climbs in, settling down on the opposite side of where you’re sitting, arms spread out to his sides. There’s a still moment where you observe one another, a slight smile on his face while you continue to drink from your glass.
“I’m surprised you’re not sick of that wine by now.”
“It’s been my favorite since the night we met,” you admit, hiding a shy smile behind the rim of your glass. “I’m almost out of the stock you gave me.”
“I’ll send you some more when we get back,” Jaehyun promises. “Have you tried the white?”
You shake your head. “I didn’t want to open a bottle and waste it if I didn’t like it.”
“I want you to try it. It’s my favorite.“ He stands up and climbs back out of the hot tub. 
Jaehyun disappears and he’s in and out quickly with the bottle, bottle opener, and glass in hand, this time sitting closer to you when he’s back in the water. He fills up half of his glass before holding it out to you. Setting your own down, you grab Jaehyun’s and take a sip, swishing it around in your mouth to get rid of the other wine’s taste and swallowing before taking another to really taste it. 
“I like it.” You nod.
“Clearly not as much as the red,” Jaehyun laughs, taking the glass back to drink it himself. 
You don’t, but you might also just like it because he took it upon himself to get out of the jacuzzi when he’d only been sitting in it for a couple of minutes just to go back into where he got kicked out of, just so you can taste his favorite wine. Granted, Jaehyun is drinking it himself, but your mind focuses on how he possibly just got softly chewed out for going back in for you. 
“Why are you still single?” you practically sigh, not quite understanding how a man of his status, with his looks, kindness, and personality hasn’t been swept up and married by now. 
Jaehyun’s brow raises mid-sip.
“I could ask you the same,” he retorts instead of giving a real answer. You’ve known him long enough to know he won’t just give you the information you’re searching for, you’ve got to give him a piece of you before he returns the gesture. And you have no qualms.
“Well,” you start, turning towards him more, kicking your feet up so your heels rest upon his lap. He doesn’t even blink at the change of position. “I’m taking the time to build myself and the life I desire without too many distractions. I’ve had ideas and goals for myself and my future for years, but when I’d get into a relationship I always ended up slacking and pushing those goals aside for later. I’m now at a place in my life where I love myself enough to not let me sweep my goals under the rug for the love of someone else. I’m still young, I have time to find love after I’ve established myself to an extent that I’m more than content with.”
Jaehyun hums, setting his now empty glass aside before your foot is in his hands with his thumbs digging into your sole firmly. 
“Do you not think it’s possible to establish yourself and find love in the process?” he prompts.
“That hasn’t been the case thus far,” you chuckle, the sound trailing into a quiet groan. Whatever pressure point he just pressed into feels like heaven. “You sure you’ve never given a massage?”
The brunet flashes you a satisfied smile, shaking his head softly. “Sounds like your previous partners were distractions rather than supporters.”
“My taste in men was terrible,” you agree instantly. “I was always the one to love more and make more sacrifices for love while I got gaslit and mediocre sex in return.”
You’re saying more than you’d intended to, and you definitely blame your slight intoxication, but it’s actually nice to talk about this with someone who isn’t your cousin or your best friend. You don’t mind opening up to Jaehyun at all. His presence has been warm, inviting since day one, and he doesn’t give the impression to be one to judge. 
Jaehyun lifts your leg to dig into your calf muscle, resting your foot on his chest. “You have pretty feet.”
You laugh at his compliment, raising a teasing brow. “A foot fetish, huh?”
The corners of his mouth fight to not lift. “When was your last relationship?” 
“About a year and a half ago.” You set your glass next to his and fit your cheek into your propped up hand. “I’ve been abstinent since.”
Jaehyun’s eyes grow big. “Really?”
“It’s not that hard.” You shrug. “Definitely gets boring, though. But that discipline has allowed me to get further with my passions than ever before. Well, the discipline plus you.”
Jaehyun’s pretty fingers just so happen to find another spot, this time in your calf, that makes you practically whimper from the pleasurable pain. The moment of eye contact that comes right after lets you know you didn’t bite it down enough to mute the sound, as well as the way his movements falter. 
Clearing his throat, he asks, “From funding?”
“Mostly, yeah. But you’re a really disciplined person who many look up to. You even work on vacation,” you tsk lightheartedly. “The energy has rubbed off on me a little.”
“Being around you has definitely made me cut back on how much time I put into work.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
He shakes his head. “Not at all. I’ve gotten to actually spend uninterrupted time with Seulgi. And bond with Taeyong for the first time in what? Three years?” 
Now that he’s mentioned it, you realize just how much more frequent your meetups are in comparison to when you’d first met. You see him every week, and while every date isn’t full of long conversations and massages, he rarely checks his emails or ends nights sooner than expected because of early mornings ahead. 
“So basically I was a great addition to your life.” You nod, wiggling your leg out of his grasp then presenting your untouched foot for him to start working on. “Okay–your turn to talk.”
He sighs deeply, gaze dropping from your face to the task at hand. 
“I’m similar to you, in regards to being the one that loves more than being loved. I’ve always tried to be cautious because I’m a bit of an easy target.”
“How so?”
“I come from generational wealth and I love giving,” Jaehyun elaborates for you, glancing up at you briefly before watching his fingers knead into your calf. “Even with being cautious, I ended up falling for women who pretended to love me to reap the benefits of being associated with me.”
You hum, frowning a little. You’ve dealt with similar situations, only instead of being used for your money, you were used for your body and loyalty. 
“I was really in love with my ex, even Seulgi befriended her. One day Seulgi overheard her talking to someone on the phone, making plans to get flown out by some professional athlete. I don’t even know the whole story but I broke up with her and blocked her on everything before she could try to explain.”
The situation still hurts him, it’s evident by the sadness that washes over his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jae.” You pout. “You didn’t deserve that.”
Jaehyun gives you a small smile. “In hindsight, it was obvious she didn’t actually like me. I just liked her too much to leave without a reason, I guess.”
Story of your life. 
“How’d you get into this business then?” you ask, gesturing between the two of you.
“Like I said, I love giving. I love spoiling someone, typically only one person at a time, though.” Not that you ever really questioned or even thought about it before this very moment, a wave of warmth passes through your chest at knowing you’re the only one that gets to have these moments with Jaehyun. “And my friend has had a few babies and recommended it. I get to spoil someone–you, without having to assume you love me for me and not just my money and without getting my heart broken. Plus the benefits of having someone by my side at events.”
“Am I your baby?” you lilt, cheesing at the way the male fights a stupid grin.
“Yes,” he agrees easily. “You are my baby and I think we got lucky for this to be our first time.” 
You pull out of his hold to sit beside him, propping your elbow up to fit your cheek into your palm, and face him with a grin that tells him you’re about to drag this. “So I can actually call you daddy now? Because I really like how you just called me your baby.”
“If that’s what you want to do,” he laughs it off, moving to pour himself another half glass. “I’m not opposed.”
Your brows lift in surprise. 
“So you have a foot fetish and a daddy kink?” you tease.
“How much have you drunk tonight?”
“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it.”
He scoffs behind his glass and mumbles, “I enjoy it more than I probably should.”
You let your grin reach your eyes as you just watch him take gulps instead of his usual sips. You’re getting somewhere now and there’s no way you’re going to let the moment slip through your fingers.
“There’s a lot more to enjoy,” you tell him, taking the glass out of his hand to finish the little amount of liquid inside. You like the flavor a little more than before.
Brown eyes follow the trail of your tongue as you lick off a droplet of wine from your bottom lip, and you know you’ve got him right where you want him. 
“Is that so?”
“It’s up to you if you want to find out,” you tell him, still giving him time to reject your advances. Being so close to finally getting a taste of what you’d been wanting has your heart beating faster than before, and the only thing on your mind is finally crossing this line you’ve been straddling. 
“Maybe a preview.”
You sit up to lean into him, hooking a hand behind his neck to pull him down to your level. Testing the waters, you press a soft kiss to his lips, but when he presses back with no hesitation, you easily slot your lips with his. They’re soft and careful, just like the hand that comes up to your side to pull you even closer. 
You almost sigh into the kiss after watching his mouth as he spoke for the last couple of months, tilting your head to deepen it. Jaehyun easily follows, letting you lead the pace and intensity. 
After backing away a couple inches and observing him, Jaehyun’s eyes flutter open and show that he’d definitely be okay with continuing, but with your building desire for him, you don’t trust yourself to lean back in and end the exchange with just an innocent kiss. You did sign a contract after all. 
So you get up, carefully stepping out of the hot tub, grabbing the towel you brought out. You wrap the white cotton around your body and head to the back door, slide it open and walk inside. It smells good, and you let the couple know as much when you’re walking past the kitchen to make it upstairs quickly before you get fussed at. 
A cold shower ought to do it. 
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Maybe you and Jaehyun should talk about what happened in the jacuzzi last night. 
You didn’t trust yourself to carry on a conversation after the moment you shared, with his eyes all lidded and lips red and just waiting for you to lean back in a repeat the action. At the dinner table there were silent glances, mostly his eyes zooming in on your mouth as you spoke then meeting your eye when he got caught. 
Everyone did their own thing today for the most part. Taeyong woke you up and you all had breakfast as a group, but after that, your cousin and his girlfriend said they’d be back later and walked out of the house. They came back when it was about to be dark.
Jaehyun claimed he had some work that he actually couldn’t wait until getting back into the office to do and disappeared into his room, leaving you to enjoy your second to last full day at the beach house by yourself. You sat out on the beach for hours until the sun exhausted you, finished your book, had a long FaceTime call with Sooyoung as you cooked and ate lunch, then took a nap until Taeyong and Seulgi got back in. 
You’d caught maybe two glimpses of your sugar daddy throughout the day before dinner, and while he conversed with you all, there was still something off. 
A loud crack of lightning jolts you out of your thoughts as you lay on your back in bed. Followed by thunder a few seconds later. You blink up, practically glaring at the sky like you could see it through the white ceiling. 
Heavy rainfall begins. 
You sigh deeply, but then the dramatic exhale is cut short when you remember the short interaction you had with the man on the other side of the bathroom your first night here. You slip your robe onto your body, slide into your slippers and grab your phone before walking through the bathroom and knocking on the door opposite of yours. 
It’s silent on the other end, even after another round of knocks, but the door gives in when you twist the knob experimentally. The sight of Jaehyun with his back against his headboard and laptop on his lap in dim lighting isn’t a shocking one. He’s got AirPods in, nodding his head to the beat of whatever song is playing, and you guess they’re on noise cancellation mode when you call out his name.
In your best attempt to not startle Jaehyun since his peripheral vision is blocked by his glasses, you pat the bed to get his attention, and that does the trick. His head quickly turns in your direction, and when he catches your gaze, he plucks one of his AirPods out. 
You point to the window to his right. “It’s storming.”
“It is,” he says matter-of-factly with a nod. After a moment of silence, his facial expression morphs into one of understanding. “Oh. It is. ”
“Is your bed still fair game?” you ask, nervous around him for the first time since you two met. “I won’t interrupt,” you gesture at his laptop.
“I was just finishing up, actually.” 
You take that as a yes. 
He saves whatever he was working on before shutting the technology down and tucking in under his bed. His glasses come off and are set on his nightstand. You kick your slippers off as he does so, shrugging off your robe to drape it over the chair at the desk in the corner. 
When you turn back towards the bed, Jaehyun’s giving your short, silky pajama set a onceover, averting his gaze when he realizes you’ve noticed and flipping the corner of the comforter over as an invitation for you to make yourself comfortable. And you do just that. 
“Not judging,” Jaehyun disclaims. “But you’re genuinely afraid of storms?”
Pausing in the midst of snuggling under his covers, you check to see if he is judging or not. His expression is neutral, so you’ll take his word. 
“Yep.” You pop the ‘p’, getting back to getting comfortable. “Just the loud ones like tonight.”
All Jaehyun does is nod in understanding. 
The two of you have had your fair share of silence while together, but up until right now, the silence has never been loud. He’s not acting standoffish or anything, but his lack of eye contact is something you’re not used to. And his body language is similar to when you’d first met.
You know you should say something because you know it’s about last night and you were the one who initiated the kiss, but now that you’re here, in his bed beside him, you kind of just want to pretend like it didn’t happen if he isn’t going to mention it himself. Is that the right thing to do? You doubt it. 
But is that exactly what you’re about to do? Absolutely. 
“When’s the last time you shared a bed with a woman?” you ask, turning towards his still seated up body with perfect posture. 
“Some months,” he confirms your suspicions. 
“Do you snore?”
He shakes his head. “I do not.”
Another bout of silence. 
“Are you uncomfortable with me in your bed?” you finally prompt. And when Jaehyun looks at you in confusion, you gesture at the clear difference in how the two of you are positioned. “Or are you just not ready to go to sleep yet?”
“No you’re fine,” Jaehyun reassures you, standing up in the process. “I just haven’t gotten ready for bed yet.”
You nod towards the bathroom. “I’ll be here.” 
A good ten minutes later Jaehyun’s back in his room, jeans and t-shirt gone and now shirtless with loose shorts on. You put your phone down on the nightstand and turn towards his side of the bed in time with him slipping under the covers. 
“Do you need me to keep the light on?”
You shake your head. “You can turn it off.”
Then it’s pitch black, not even the moonlight peeking through the blinds or curtains. And a loud crash of lightning sounds, making your body convulse. 
You laugh it off, though unable to see the worried expression you’re being given.
“How can I make this less scary for you?” Jaehyun prompts after a moment, voice low and hesitant. 
“How tired are you?”
“Barely.”
“Distractions always work,” you supply. Usually you’d put noise cancellation headphones in when you’re alone because this is kind of an embarrassing fear to have so no one really knows about it. Taeyong was aware when you were kids, but as far as you know, he thinks you’ve outgrown the fear. You used the storm as an excuse to come see Jaehyun and get rid of the air between the two of you but you’d only thought as far as just being in the same room as him. 
“Which kind?”
You shrug. “We can talk. Watch a movie or something. Being held always helps, too.”
“We can touch on what happened last night.”
You’re actually surprised he brought it up himself.
“What about last night, exactly?” 
Jaehyun lets out an unamused exhale through his nose. “Let’s not play dumb.”
The tone you just received is new and it admittedly does something to you. 
Here you are, comfortable in bed with the man of your desires, who’s only clad in shorts. There’s really nothing to talk about, in your opinion. You both wanted what happened last night and you want it again. Right now. 
You scoot closer to his warm body, your knees gently colliding with his thighs. Jaehyun stays still, even when you reach out, using the slight sight of his silhouette as a guide to run a hand down his shoulder to his defined chest, your fingertips brushing against his nipple. 
“I’m not,” you tell him, letting your hand continue down his torso. “A few things took place last night.”
“But you know–”
“I remember you calling me your baby,” you interrupt. Your digits stop when they get to the waistband of his bottoms. “Which I enjoyed. A lot.”
Jaehyun’s resolve starts to crumble. He doesn’t say anything, allowing you to continue your recall of last night’s events along with your light touches, which are now going back up his stomach. 
“And then I gave you something to enjoy. Is that what you want to talk about?” You curl your hand around the side of his neck, playing with the hairs at his nape. Jaehyun relaxes more into your touch, but you receive no answer to your question. “We could pretend it never happened, if you want.”
“I don’t,” he finally says, and you assume he’s responding to the suggestion.
“Or it could happen again.” You finish the thought, moving your thumb to brush it against his pouty bottom lip. “But I don’t think there’s much more to talk about, Jae.”
A strong hand pulls you into his body by your back before lips crash into yours. You smile as you let him control the kiss, satisfied with breaking him enough for him to initiate it. Your fingers go back into Jaehyun’s hair, nails lightly scraping his scalp as you open your mouth for his searching tongue. His mouth nor his hold are rough, just firm, and you practically melt into him.
His kisses are noisy, the sound of his lips smacking against yours practically echoing in the spacious room. The rainfall is still heavy but the crashes of lightning and rumbles of thunder sound further away than before.
He lets out a stuttered breath at the tug of his scalp, nipping your bottom lip in retaliation as his hand leisurely slips down to the back of your knee to hike your leg up around his waist. 
You tilt your head up to catch your breath and Jaehyun uses the opportunity to use his nose to guide him down to your neck before pressing open mouthed kisses over a sensitive pulse point. And when you quietly moan, it only spurs him on to circle his tongue around it.
Whimpering out his name, you pull him flush against you by your leg and the hand in his hair. He continues to focus on that spot on your neck, nipping and sucking lightly but with enough bite to have your silk begin sticking to the apex of your thighs. And it’s almost like he can tell, with how his hand slides across the smooth fabric over your hips to rest on your ass, the tips of his fingers centimeters away from the mess he’s creating. 
Using his hair, you guide his lips back up to yours for a slower, wetter kiss that you lead this time. And Jaehyun just follows, letting you suck on his tongue as he gropes you, unintentionally rubbing over right where you want him and pulling a gasp out your mouth. You push back to feel more and this time it’s intentional on both of your parts, the tip of his finger shallowly dipping into your silk clad entrance. 
Your moan brings him back to reality, it seems, because soon his hand is slowly retracting, finding the side of your face to give you a couple more kisses that clearly signal the end of the moment. You want to pull him back in when his body starts to retract, want to settle on top of him and go further, but you don’t. 
You can’t.
There’s some rummaging and the light of the television screen ahead illuminates the room as you wrap your head around the moment that just passed.
“What movie do you want to watch?” Jaehyun asks in a rough voice that makes your stomach turn. His body turned so that he’s laying on his back, one arm behind his head while the other scrolls through streaming services.
“Uh.” You clear your throat. “Something funny, I guess.”
He chooses a romantic comedy from the early 2000s and pulls you back into him, wrapping an arm around you so you can rest your head on his chest. 
The storm has calmed down by now, but your mind is anything but calm.
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Your eyes slowly flutter open and it takes a moment to realize your surroundings are different from what you’ve gotten used to this past week. And then you’re aware of a weight draped over your waist, and you remember the storm, the kiss, and the cuddling.
The digital clock on the nightstand reads 10:40 a.m and from a glance behind you, Jaehyun is still asleep. You’re usually awake and downstairs an hour earlier than this, and he’s always drinking a cup of coffee when you make it to the kitchen. 
You do feel well rested.
It’s easy to slip out of his hold and get your day–your last full day here– started. You take a shower, throw on a matching short set and head downstairs, meeting Taeyong and Seulgi in the kitchen. 
“Sleep well?” Taeyong asks, handing you a mug. 
“I did.” You nod. You pour some coffee into the ceramic, followed by creamer and agave. “The storm put me to sleep.”
Your cousin eyes you for a moment and you sip from your mug, raising a brow. 
“You wanna join me on the beach today?” Seulgi prompts, cutting the silent communication off and turning your attention to her. “Let the guys bond while we have our own day?”
Jaehyun rounds the corner and enters the kitchen at that moment, brow raised at his cousin’s last words. Taeyong also hands him a mug, the mug Jaehyun’s used every morning, to which the brunet thanks him for. 
“Is that okay with you?” you ask, momentarily distracted by your sugar daddy sleepily rubbing his bare chest as he fills his cup with coffee. You figure she’d already run this plan by Taeyong. Jaehyun nods, sending you a gentle smile.
You return the nod and give your attention back to Seulgi. “Sounds perfect. What do you have planned?” 
The pair of you end up walking along the shore, picking up the prettiest seashells you can find. It’s nice to bond with her without anyone else around, though it was quiet at first.
“Has Jaehyun been treating you well?” she asks, catching you off guard. 
You’re not sure if she means during your stay here or in general, if Taeyong eventually let her know, so you just nod and answer as vaguely as possible. “He has. He’s very kind.”
“I was a bit nervous he’d be his usual uninterested self but I had hope he’d be a good host to you,” Seulgi admits with a relieved laugh. “He’s not the most social, though he does seem to talk to you pretty easily.”
“It’s my charm.” You flip your hair playfully. “Working with kids, you’ve got to be likable and easy to talk to. But yeah, he’s been great company.”
You bend down at the sight of a really pretty shell with pink on it, dusting it off to examine if it’s worth taking back with you before putting it in your little bag. 
“I know you mentioned not dating anyone, but are you interested? Like, are you going out on dates and stuff or just not feeling it at all right now?”
“I’m going on dates,” you tell her. You technically go on dates with Jaehyun, “but I’m not looking to be in a relationship just yet. If it happens organically I’m not opposed, but it’s not exactly high on my list at the moment.”
She hums in understanding and nods, then changes the subject to how she doesn’t know where her mental health would be without this beach house because it’s her happy place. 
--
Tonight is your last night of freedom. The only connection you’ve had to your work life for the last week is Jisung with his updates. He’s decided to send you daily pictures of your baby and they make you miss her a little more. 
The men took it upon themselves to make dinner and it was ready by the time you and Seulgi got back in, the sun almost completely set. You appreciate how almost every meal you’ve eaten since being here has been as a group at the table, barely any phone usage (Jaehyun stopped checking his notifications so often, deciding to wait until everyone was done in the kitchen–all it took was a stern look from you when he grabbed it as soon as it pinged one night), just conversation and laughter.
It’s planned for you all to come back during your next break from work, which will be during the summer, and it works out perfectly for everyone else. 
You don’t live close enough to a body of water you could submerge into, so on this last night, you’re taking advantage of the jacuzzi again. 
The couple went upstairs soon after dinner to watch a movie, taking popcorn with them and all. They invited you and Jaehyun, but you told them your plan for the night and Jaehyun just declined. 
He’s probably doing last minute work or just watching something on tv or his phone, but you’d prefer his company right now. So you grab your phone off of the side table and scroll to his message thread. 
[10:01pm] you: Come join me in the jacuzzi?
You wait for a response for a couple of minutes, but when you don’t get one, you just put your phone back with a small sigh. But then you get bored and pick your phone back up to scroll through your explore page. 
A few minutes into scrolling, the back door slides open and closed, and Jaehyun’s making his way towards you with swim trunks and a towel when you take a look behind you. 
“I thought you might not join me tonight,” you admit, putting your phone aside, for good this time. 
He shakes his head, dropping his towel and phone on the table before stepping inside the jacuzzi. 
“When have I ever not given you what you wanted?” 
At your silence, Jaehyun chuckles, settling down at a distance that isn’t far but far enough in your opinion. Especially after how close you two got last night. 
That’s actually your answer to his question that you guess was supposed to be rhetorical. 
“Last night.”
His brows furrow, genuinely confused. 
And it’s not like you asked him for what you wanted. You didn’t tell him you wanted to go further than the kisses you shared. Didn’t ask him to stick his hand in your shorts and relieve you of what you’ve been missing for what didn’t feel like a long time until you were that close to him. 
“You didn’t give me what I wanted last night,” you explain with a shrug. “But it’s nothing, really.”
Giving Jaehyun the time to make sense of your vague explanation, you extend your legs and flutter them in the water. You’re going to miss this place. You love your kids, but it’s so peaceful and lighthearted here. Well, for the most part. 
“I don’t want to assume you’re alluding to what I think you are, but–” His voice is deeper than you’ve heard yet, almost strained.
“I am,” you hum. You’ve been shown that he wants you in similar ways that you want him. Last night was too much yet not nearly enough. “I know what I want and I’m almost positive you want the same thing.”
“You also know we signed a contract.”
“We’re also two consenting adults,” you remind him.
“Who signed a contract that states there won’t be a sexual relationship between us,” Jaehyun retorts. It’s been a while since you’ve seen such a stern, serious facial expression on his face. “A kiss or two is one thing but–”
“Jaehyun–”
“While I don’t think you’d try to blackmail me or send me to court for anything,” he interrupts right back, and you sigh as you listen to the rest of his statement, “a breach in the contract would allow for that and I have too much to lose.”
You take a steadying breath, understanding where he’s coming from and not taking his words personally. Of course you wouldn’t do that to him, you hadn’t even thought of that scenario until he just brought it up. All you know is he is the first man in over a year to make you want to break your abstinence and if there is a way around this you’ll take it. 
“Answer this with a simple yes or no: is the feeling mutual?”
His pretty lips part to say something other than one of the two word options you gave him, getting him a pointed look. 
He scrubs his face and sighs. “Yes.”
You didn’t think it would stress him out this much. You didn’t forget about or ignore the agreement between the two of you. You just wanted to let him know you’re definitely down for a revision. 
“You can record me giving my consent, then we can make a new contract,” you suggest. He looks at you for a moment, like he’s processing. “If you want this to happen, get your phone. If you don’t, this conversation never happened.”
Jaehyun reaches behind him for his phone, taps the screen a few times before aiming the mic towards you. You state your first and last name, the date, and your consent while maintaining eye contact with him so he knows you do care about his career and reputation and your desires are sexual, even a little emotional. But not manipulative. 
He stops the recording then puts the device back where he got it from. His body language is less tense than before, the air lighter between the pair of you. Jaehyun’s worries are gone, and that’s all you wanted.
“Any more qualms, Mr. Jung?”
By the way he licks his lips, you’re going to assume he likes being addressed as such. 
“Just one,” Jaehyun begins, grabbing your calf to bring your foot to his lap, giving it the same treatment from the other night, digging his thumbs into the sole. You lift a brow, not actually expecting another issue. “Your abstinence.”
Bless him for caring about you and not just getting his dick wet. It only makes your desire for him grow.
His thumb presses into the arch of your foot and your back almost arches, a muted airy noise leaving your mouth. And by the glint in his eyes, he knows exactly what he’s doing. 
“I already told you,” you exhale, relaxing your head back even more. “I know what I want. I can break it whenever I’d like.”
“You think I’m worth it?”
You do. You really do. 
“I think you should show me that you are.” 
Smiling that stupidly attractive half smile of his, Jaehyun pushes into that pressure point again, loving the way you visibly hold back a sound of pleasure, before your leg is lifted higher and higher, until his lips make contact with your heel in a sweet kiss. 
“You think so?”
He just continues to kiss upward as you watch him in anticipation and desire. 
“I knew it.” Your voice is a lot more airy than accusatory than you’d intended, Jaehyun’s brow lifting in response since his mouth is occupied with shallowly sucking your big toe into his mouth. “Knew you had a thing for feet.”
Jaehyun laughs, watching you just as closely as you watch him. His tongue swirls around the tip and your teeth worry at your bottom lip. There’s already a dark look in his eyes.
“I don’t.” He sets your foot down gently and his arms fall to his sides after one last peck to your arch, body language open and inviting. “I just have a thing for you.”
“Smooth.”
“Honest,” Jaehyun counters. “Come here.”
You sit up carefully and make your way to his side of the tub. You settle on his lap, stomach twisting. Images of your first meeting with him flash through your mind, and you almost laugh at how much has changed between the two of you since that night.
A strong grip on your hips pulls you out of your thoughts when they pull you in, aligning your hips and settling your core right atop his semi. 
“Do you know how hard it was to pull away from you last night?” His deep voice is like velvet so close to your ears as he guides your hands up to rest on his shoulders. 
“It broke my heart when you did.” 
You wanted nothing more than his fingers knuckle deep in you when he brushed over your core, and now, with the position you’re in, you just want him inside of you. 
Apologetic hands caress your hips and waist, up and down. “I know, baby.” You lick your lips, eyes getting heavy at how easily the term of endearment rolls off his tongue and how nice it sounds to be on the receiving end. “I had to, though.”
“I know,” you sigh.
He nudges your nose with his own before he slants his lips over yours. There’s more passion, more desperation in this kiss now that there are no hindrances. His tongue laps against your bottom lip before it licks your own, pulling a low whine out of you as the wet muscles circle around each other slowly, filthily. His hands aren’t hesitant, simply caressing as they please.
“You want me to make it up to you?”
He’s already forgiven, but you nod anyway. “How will you?”
“I’m going to Bali in two weeks and I could fly you out to meet me,” Jaehyun suggests, peppering open mouthed kisses down your neck. “You can get massages, eat fresh fruit off of platters in the pool, do yoga with baby goats–” he lists and you hum at the plan and the delicate way his lips and tongue caress your skin. “And whatever else you want while I’m in meetings then we’ll go out once I’m done. I’ll show you my favorite spots and we can go anywhere you’re interested in.”
You wouldn’t mind missing a few days of work for that. 
“And what else?”
 An amused smile spreads against your skin before Jaehyun nips at your neck, laving his tongue over the bite. “I’ll add more money for the next few weeks.”
“What else?” you pant, gripping his locks. 
The knot keeping your bikini top together is slowly pulled apart until the man underneath you can peel it off of you and set it to the side, taking a quick moment to appreciate the sight of your breasts before he dips down to run his tongue over your nipple. The tip of his wet muscle circles the nub a few times, then it’s sucked into his mouth and your grip gets even tighter. The hand that isn’t pressing into the middle of your back to keep you close to his mouth comes up to the unoccupied side of your chest to squeeze and pull at.
It’s been so long since you’ve been touched like this, your hips slowly grind down against his hardening dick, trying to relieve the ache that’s only getting more intense the longer your breasts are fondled and sucked. You think you might actually come from this alone. 
Jaehyun switches sides of your chest, repeating the same attention and affection. His tongue, lips, teeth, and fingers bringing increasing pleasure to your body. 
“Jae–” you whimper desperately, grinding harder, the water surrounding your bodies splashing more intensely. 
He hums, sliding his hand down your back and around to your hip, gripping the soft flesh to halt the movement of your lower half. He unlatches from your chest and lightly pushes you off of his lap and you blindly follow his lead as he guides you to turn and bend over the edge of the jacuzzi. 
It’s quiet for a while after you bend over, so you look behind you to catch Jaehyun admiring the shape of your ass and hips and how easily you get into position for him. His hands grasp both cheeks, a low growl rumbling from his chest. Glancing down his body, you see his dick straining against the front of his swim trunks.
“I can make it up to you right here,” Jaehyun offers, breaking the tunnel vision he had on your shape to catch your eye. “Or we can go upstairs.”
A bed would be more comfortable and convenient, so you give it a moment of thought while the man behind you continues to trace the curves of your body. All he has to do is untie your bikini bottoms or push them to the side right now. Walking upstairs seems like too long of a process.
“Here,” you decide. 
And that’s all you needed to say for him to pull the strings on both sides of your hips to unravel the bows you tied earlier. The soaked bottoms get discarder right along with your top. Two fingertips glide up and down your wet slit a couple of times before they draw slow, wide circles over your clit. 
“You wanted me so bad you couldn’t wait long enough to go back inside?” Jaehyun’s guttural voice asks close to your ear, his body towering over your own, his chest against your back. He hardly gives you a chance to respond before the same fingers plunge into your pussy.
“Shit,” you hiss, nodding at his question. “Wanted you so bad.”
Wet kisses trail down your spine as his hand picks up a steady pace. It feels so good to have his thicker, longer fingers deep inside of you when your own digits don’t fill you up as well or hit the same spots.
The coil in your stomach tightens embarrassingly fast and your moans get harder to suppress when his speed and force increase. Your head hangs forward, eyes closed as you focus on the feeling Jaehyun is bringing you with your bottom lip caught between your teeth. It’s unlikely the couple will hear you out here, or anyone since there is a lot of space in between the beach houses. You just don’t want to chance it. 
But when he carefully sinks a third finger into your cunt, it’s not as easy to control your volume.
“Oh, fuck,” you whine, body going tense. 
“Too much?” Jaehyun asks, attentive yet still distracted by the way you suck his digits in. You shake your head. He starts back up slowly, giving you time to adjust and for the discomfort to pass before speeding up again when you moan in pleasure. “Need you to come around my fingers, okay baby?”
Jaehyun hums in content at how your lower half practically chases him when he barely pulls away. He reaches around with his other hand to find your clit, rubbing tight circles with a pressure that’s perfect, and he gets what he wants. 
Your breath stutters when you feel the wave of intense pleasure wash over you, and you reach your first climax in a low groan, the noise swallowed by the jets in the hottub and the squelching of Jaehyun’s digits as they move up and down since the vice grip your walls have on them leave little room for him to thrust them in and out of you at this point. Your legs shake and your fingers fail to grip the slippery edge of the jacuzzi. 
When you begin to come back down, sighs of content leaving your mouth, Jaehyun slowly retracts his hands and gives you a moment. There’s rustling behind you, and you sneak a glance back. 
He’s naked and spreading your essence up and down his shaft, his bottom lip hanging in pleasure. He’s long and thick, but not in an intimidating way. You make a move to turn around, wanting to replace his hand with your own and your mouth, but his free hand stops you. 
“I wanna suck your dick,” you tell him, yet still get back into position with your ass stuck out for him and your upper body supported by your forearms. 
“Think you can wait until I’m about to come?”  Jaehyun asks, rubbing his thumb over your entrance, catching the essence that drips from your fluttering hole. “Really wanna be inside you now.”
You nod again, fine with going with whatever he wants to do and how he wants to do it. You have no complaints about him being inside of you even sooner. 
He pushes in slowly, enjoying the gasp you let out as well as the view of him disappearing into you inch by inch. 
“Fuck fuck fuck.”
“You okay?”
“Perfect,” you say weakly, licking your dry lips. 
Jaehyun grabs your hips, both to keep you in place and give him leverage, then begins slowly pulling out and thrusting back in until your walls have engulfed him fully. 
He lets out a deep exhale, head tipped back, and gives you a moment to adjust to him. The way he fills you up is unlike anything you’ve felt before and you don’t want to wait any longer. 
“Move.” You push back to emphasize that you’re ready. “Please.”
His movements are fluid yet careful, not too lost in his own pleasure with how snug and wet your walls are around him, but Jaehyun watches and listens so he can make sure you feel nothing but pleasure and enjoy every moment. 
Your head hangs low as you get accustomed to the delicious stretch, the friction. 
“Lift your knee up for me, baby,” Jaehyun gently commands, tapping the back of your thigh. 
You settle your knee beside your elbow, and that’s when he hits that spot within you that makes your arch back even more. 
“Oh. Fuck,” you cry, to which Jaehyun hums at. 
“Right there?” he asks, a groan threatening to slip out at how your walls flutter around his cock deliciously. 
You nod your head aggressively, squeezing your fists together since you’ve failed to grip the edge of the tub with your slippery hands. 
“Everything about you is just so pretty,” he compliments, sounding like he’s in awe as he gives you even slower, deeper strokes, keeping the angle that keeps you keening. “Pretty pussy,” A thick droplet of spit lands on your asshole then his thumb traces your rim a few times, catching your reaction before the tip breaches the surface. “Pretty body.”
“Oh—shit,” you moan brokenly. “Yes.”
“And you make such pretty sounds for me.”
His thumb pushes further into you and your face contorts in pleasure. 
“What the fuck, Jaehyun?” you whine, the pleasure almost becoming too much at this point. His thick, long dick hitting all the places you need, his thumb lazily wiggling inside of your ass, his velvety voice. You’re so close it almost hurts.
He just laughs under his breath, using his grip on your waist to pull you back, silently telling you to move. 
Your hips meet his strokes halfway, your eyes closed and practically rolled back as you match his rhythm to get you closer to coming around him then having him in your mouth.
“You feel so good, baby.” His compliments only urge you to fuck back harder, the drop of your hips creating a loud slapping noise that only turns you on even more. Jaehyun lets you take over for the most part, thrusts lacking the power behind them so he can focus on caressing your ass, hip, and waist with his head dropped back and eyes closed. “Just like that.”
You transfer most of your weight to one arm, starting with tight, quick circle against your clit. Your breath quickens and you bite your lip to stop the sounds that want to come out.
“Let me hear you.” Jaehyun says. “Need to hear how pretty you sound when you come.”
Your fingers work faster, to the point of just swiping the bundle of nerves back and forth and cries tumble from your lips, pleas and curses mixed in. 
“I’m gonna–” you begin to confess, but the pleasure heightens ten-fold and you let out a dry sob.
“Go ahead,” Jaehyun encourages, putting more effort into his thrusts again, moving his thumb in and out of you. 
You have to quickly catch yourself and hold your body up with both arms again when the feeling overcomes you. You’re doing your best to stay up when your body starts to vibrate, especially when your walls become more sensitive to his thrusts. Your walls spasm around his cock and there’s a harmony of voiced pleasure. 
Jaehyun pulls out when your hand starts pushing at his lower abdomen, starting to feel over stimulated. His hand slowly strokes his length to maintain his pleasure, watching you sink to your knees and he gives you the time you need to catch your breath and come back to the moment with him. 
“You feeling okay?” he asks in a gentle voice, helping you turn towards him with his free hand. He cups your chin, looking down at you with blown out eyes. You nod, head still fuzzy from your climax, wrapping your hands around the back of his thighs to pull him in closer, mouth cracking open to finally have him in your mouth. Jaehyun groans at the sight and taps the tip on your flattened tongue a couple times before you wrap your lips around him. He tastes like you and an underlying musk that makes you lave your tongue around the underside of his cock, caressing that vein that has him sighing. 
You wrap your hand around the base, moving his own hand out of the way, and start pumping your fist. Your attention is mostly at his tip, sucking and licking and moaning around him because you want him to come, too. 
Looking up at him, his lip is caught in between his teeth and he’s looking down at you with so much desire in his eyes. 
“Shit,” Jaehyun says to himself, breathlessly. You bob your head back and forth, sinking further and further down his shaft until his tip causes the back of your throat to flutter. “Just like that, baby. Fuck.”
His hips shallowly thrust forward, enjoying the feeling of your throat spasming around his cock too much to not chase it, and before you know it, both of his hands are gently holding your head in place and his grunts are turning into moans. He doesn’t fuck your face, though you absolutely wouldn’t have minded, but he picks up his pace. You massage the bottom of his shaft with your tongue and pull him in even closer by his thighs. 
“You want me to pull out?” he asks while he can still think straight. You shake your head no the best you can with him in your mouth, and that’s all he needs. His hips still, then ropes of cum land on the back of your tongue. 
Your hand comes back to milk the rest of his cum out, your mouth sucks until his shaft gets too sensitive and Jaehyun has to pull out. As he catches his breath, grip loosening to the point of his hands dropping, you swallow your mouthful and wipe the excess fluids off your mouth and chin. 
Jaehyun helps you back up to your feet and guides you to sit on the ledge, observing your fucked-out expression that mirrors his own. You look up at him with a content smile that lets him know he was definitely worth it. He gets your towel to wipe what your hands couldn’t get off of your face, smiling at the way you close your eyes and lift your chin up with a sigh. 
“Worth it?” he asks softly, now caressing your lips with his thumb. 
You hum, nodding. 
“Do you want to stay here a little longer or are you ready to go upstairs?” 
“I’m ready.” 
He passes you your towel and you thank him. You wrap the cotton around your body and he wraps his around his waist before you both grab your belongings and make your way back inside. 
“You can take your shower first,” Jaehyun says when you make it upstairs, about to pass your door. You nod, still not all the way in the present, twisting the doorknob. “And we can watch a movie in my room when we’re both clean.”
You smile up at him, nodding a little harder. He hesitates for a split second before he dips down to give you a lingering kiss, then he’s on his way to his room. 
After your long, hot shower, hygiene and skincare routine, you lightly knock on Jaehyun’s door before entering. He’s seated at his desk, scrolling on his phone until he looks up at you and stands, grabbing another towel. 
“Pick out a movie for us?” 
“Okay.”
The door shuts behind him and you make yourself at home and get comfortable on the same side of the bed you were on last night. You scroll through Netflix and Hulu only to end up having to choose between a psychological thriller you heard a lot of good reviews on and another romantic comedy. You’ll let him choose when he comes back because you don’t know which one is more his taste. 
He ends up choosing the psychological thriller because apparently he’s actually been meaning to watch it but just hadn’t found the time yet.
The rest of the night is spent watching the movie, trying to understand it and bounce ideas off of each other on the meaning of certain scenes, then when you can’t control your yawns and how heavy your lids are, you call it a night. Lights and the tv are turned off before Jaehyun pulls you in for chaste kiss that lingers, and you fall asleep with your head on his chest. 
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For the second morning in a row, you wake up in the loose hold of Jaehyun. You know you slept in again, you don’t even have to look at the time. But you do anyway, because you and Taeyong are meant to be on the road no later than one this afternoon. 
It’s only a little past ten, and anything you don’t need to use today is already packed. You have a little more time to enjoy the moment. 
Jaehyun stirs awake behind you, asking you what time it is. He’s set to leave a little later than you, so when you tell him, he hums and pulls you into his chest more.
“They’re gonna wonder where we are,” you tell him, even though you really don’t care. The warmth of his chest on your back and being so close to the man you’ve desired for the last month is enough to keep you here a little longer.
“Seulgi’s been trying to set us up,” Jaehyun informs you huskily. “She’s fine.”
You blink. “She’s been what?” 
“Why do you think we’ve been left alone as much as we have?”
Now certain conversations make more sense. Her ploy may not have worked in the exact way she thought it would, but it definitely worked. And now that you think about it, Taeyong’s been giving you looks the last couple of days too, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he was in on it after a while. 
“Oh, she’s good.”
“Not really,” he laughs. “I saw right through her. I don’t know how you didn’t.”
“My attention was elsewhere.”
“You’re right.” He tightens his arm around you even more, now so close that you can feel a hardness poke the back of your thigh. “It was on seducing me.”
You suck your teeth and roll your eyes, though he’s technically correct.
“And it worked.” You wiggle back into his arousal, enjoying his hum of appreciation.
“Baby it worked before you even started trying.” He takes hold of your hip to pull your ass back again. “This trip just made it obvious you wanted me and gave me peace of mind to go through with it.”
You love how much more comfortable he is with his words and affection towards you. The pet names, the cuddling. The directness of his desires. 
“When’s our next date?” you ask, wondering how long it’ll be before you could possibly be in this position again. 
“Probably Saturday. I have a busy week ahead since someone wouldn’t let me work.”
You scoff. He had plenty of time the other day to get his work done. “Are you complaining?” 
Laughing, he presses a less than innocent kiss to the junction between your neck and shoulder. “Not at all.” 
“Taeyong’s gonna kill me if I’m late,” you sigh after a while of enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin, but your words don’t match your actions, your hand coming up to the back of his head to feel more of his opened mouth kisses. “I should probably start getting ready.”
“Probably,” Jaehyun agrees. But he continues his ministrations on your neck, slipping a hand under your shirt and up to your breast, groping the mound. “Is that what you want to do, though?”
“Not really,” you sigh, failing to stop yourself from arching into his touch. “But I’d hate to be inconsiderate.”
It pains you to slowly pull yourself out of his hold, but Taeyong is the last person you want to get chewed out and lectured by. With a small stretch, you get out of his bed and sneak a glance behind you to see him looking at you with desire and a cute pout. 
“Are you staying in bed or are you gonna get ready with me?” 
You still want to spend more time with him regardless of what the two of you are doing. 
He follows you into the bathroom and the two of you stand side by side, brushing your teeth in a comfortable silence. Jaehyun finishes his morning routine quicker than you, and takes the opportunity to stand behind you and fit his chin in the crook of your neck, arms sliding forward to encircle your waist. He simply watches you pat your face dry with a paper towel, sending you a closed-lip smile when you lift a curious brow at him. This extent of affection from him is new, and you’re not too sure how you expected your dynamic to change after crossing the line last night, but this wasn’t quite it. 
Not that you’re complaining. 
But when he straightens up some, his hard chest pressing against your back, you’re reminded of his morning wood, and everything makes a little more sense. 
“Did all of your self control die last night?” you joke, twisting the top of your serum off. 
He chuckles, and surprisingly nods. Burying his face into your neck now, he’s back to pressing tempting kisses on your skin, paying closer attention to the spot that made your breath audibly hitch. 
“Would you like me to stop?”
“No.” You shake your head. You sit the bottle in your hand back down on the countertop and lean back into his touch. You suddenly don’t have the mind to continue your skincare routine. “I like it.”
“I don’t know,” Jaehyun lilts, though one of his hands creeps under your shirt. He pinches your nipple, eliciting a tiny moan from you. “Maybe I should stop. Wouldn’t want to be inconsiderate.”
You hum in discontent. “Please don’t.” Gently grabbing his hair, you pull him out of your neck so you can kiss him. Arousal stirs in your abdomen all over again and you want nothing more than for him to continue kissing you, touching you. “I want you.”
“Yeah?” He voices his surprise. It really didn’t take much. “Are you sure you want to keep him waiting?”
Even though you’ll most likely be seeing him again in less than a week, it’s just so tempting to stay in this bubble with Jaehyun a little longer. To get your fix of what you’d finally indulged in last night. And honestly, being a little late won’t hurt anyone. 
“We can make it quick?” you ask more than state, turning around in his hold to look up at him with inquisitive eyes. Taking steps forward, he follows your lead and walks backwards back into his room. 
“I can try,” he finally says after you’ve stripped your clothes off, eyeing your body. You move to his shorts next and he allows you to pull them down before taking over to kick them off his ankles. “Lay down for me.”
He crawls over you, knees in between your legs as he hovers over you, putting his weight on one forearm beside your head. The kiss you share is languid yet sloppy, your tongues colliding and twirling around one another’s as his free hand immediately finds its way in between your legs, his middle finger running down your slit before sliding inside of you. 
You break away from the kiss to catch your breath, chest already heaving up and down and it draws his attention, his mouth attaching to your nipple. Jaehyun sucks and nibbles on your nubs, inserting his ring finger in your pussy and pulling out a whine from your throat. His mouth continues to travel south until he reaches the apex of your thighs, taking a moment to watch the way your walls stretch around his fingers before sucking your clit into his mouth, giving it kitten licks. 
You know you asked him to make it quick, but when he starts to pull away too soon, you push his head back in between your thighs and start rolling your hips, mouth agape with the smallest of moans and praise spewing out as you try to keep your volume down. You’re already so close, and by the way your walls flutter around his digits, Jaehyun understands as much and licks and sucks at your clit with more intent, stretching you out even more with his pointer finger. 
Your orgasm is quiet, your fist blocking the sounds that threaten to come out of your mouth, lower body shaking. He lets you ride the feeling, lazily lapping at the wetness that gushes out past his fingers, circling the tip of his tongue against your clit before carefully pulling his digits out. 
Wiping your essence on the comforter, Jaehyun comes back up to eye level with you, grinning down at your dazed expression, pecking your lips. He lines his tip up with your hole and studies you as he breaches your entrance, drinking up the furrow in your brows and lewd grimace that washes over your face. The pace he sets once he’s bottomed out is so different from last night, his thrusts quicker, more shallow, but still reaching all the right places. 
You whine, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Oh, my God.” Breasts bouncing from the force of his hips clashing into yours, you just take the onslaught of pleasure. “Fuck, Jaehyun.”
“Love how you say my name, baby,” Jaehyun hums, dipping down to scatter kisses and nibbles on your jaw. His voice is too stable and he’s so composed you compared to you and you already feel your second orgasm approaching. You need him to come with you. 
Your leg is lifted to drape over his shoulder and your breath stops for a second.
“Daddy,” you moan wantonly, eyes rolling back before you can see the way his eyes get darker and his control weakens. But you definitely feel how much harder he fucks you, how his movements lose a little finesse. “So good. Feels so fucking good. I’m gonna come,” you ramble in his ear, hips bucking up to meet his thrusts. 
“Yeah?” he grunts, out of breath now. Fingertips find your clit and rub quick, tight circles. “Gonna come all over my dick?”
You nod violently. “Yes. Yes yes yes,” you cry as quietly as possible, grabbing his hair to center you, trying not to pull too hard. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” you chant as your walls flutter around his dick, body tensing before shuddering. 
“Fuck,” Jaehyun groans. He grips your hip tight enough to bruise, but the pain hardly registers when he kissing you hungrily and your walls start becoming progressively more sensitive to the way his thick cock drags against them. It only takes a few more intense thrusts for him to bottom out harshly and release inside of you with the deepest moan that you swallow, that makes you clench around him. 
Heavy breathing is all that’s heard for a while. He gradually softens inside of you as you catch your breath. Jaehyun’s head falls into your neck, his hand gently bringing your leg back down to the bed. 
“Quick enough?”
Seulgi has a wide smile taking up half of her face when she walks into the kitchen. 
“What?” Taeyong asks, suspicious. 
She points up and remains silent so he can hear the tell tale sound of skin slapping and muffled pleasure. “They’re definitely fucking.”
He immediately regrets asking.
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:) v self indulgent. but look at me posting a little more consistently. i hope you all enjoy, feedback is always accepted and appreciated (you could always buy me kofi too uwu ily) <3
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