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thecapturedafrique · 10 months

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HLAW: Day 5—Hana(ra)’s Perfect Wedding!

Like several members of the fandom, I too ship Hana and Kiara together, and though I have yet to write the fic where they fall in love, I’ve long since come up list of head canons about their wedding. I originally meant to share this for Kiara’s first appreciation week, but I wasn’t able to finish on time. Fortunately, one of the benefits to being a Hanara shipper is that their romantic content can work for both characters’ weeks! 😆

Tagging @hanaleeappreciationweek and the stupendous hosts @lizzybeth1986 and @sazanes!

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This moodboard was designed to reflect the Pinboard that Hana would 100% make for her wedding to Kiara given the numerous ones she’s crafted in canon.

Bridal Ring Sets

The ring on the left is the one Hana chooses for Kiara; I initially searched for a ring similar to Hana's ring for MC in canon but didn't want a one-to-one match, and then I diverged further by selecting one with a vine design to reference Castelsareillan (aka Rowan’s tattoos which I head canon were tribal in nature and design). The side stones are diamonds since they’re both the ducal stone and Kiki’s birthstone, but Hana went with moissanite for the central stone since it's not as hard and refracts more multi-colored light, representing how there's more to Kiara than what the surface may show and that she is a lot more kind and sweet and thoughtful than her tough facade leads people to expect.

For the ring Kiara gives to Hana*, resetting a family heirloom is very popular in France, especially with traditional affluent families. The ruby was originally from her late maternal grandmother’s engagement ring, and Kiara had it reset in a rose gold band to match her own since Hana proposed first. Due to the canonical Cordonian tradition of lovers throwing a copper, a silver, and a gold coin into a well to guarantee that they stay together for eternity, I head canon that rose gold—which is made of those three metals—is a popular choice in Cordonia for engagement/anniversary jewelry. The wedding band is inlaid with opals since they're the ducal stone of Hana’s duchy, Chrysopolis.

*I was also partly inspired by @masked-alien-lesbian’s beautiful pick to find a more floral design than my original choice, and when I found one with embellishments that mirrored butterflies as well, I knew it was the one.

Bridal Party

In Chinese numerology, 8 is considered one of the most auspicious numbers, with 2, 3, and 6 also being lucky in general. As such, the bridal party is a total of 6 people (3 for each side) who combined with the 2 brides equal 8 in total.

Hana's Bridesmaids: Ally (MOH), Olivia, and Ganga

In my version of events, Olivia actually does offer a genuine apology to Hana in the beer garden scene at the end of TRR2, and so by the time Hana’s planning her wedding, the two have grown close enough for her to ask Liv to be her bridesmaid.

The name Ganga may be familiar to anyone who read Hana’s character page, as she’s one of Hana’s second cousins on her mother’s side. They meet and bond over the course of my reimagined TRH series Silver Spoons.

Kiara's Témoins: Penelope (MOH), Zeke, and Savannah

Instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen, French couples have témoins (witnesses) of any gender/age that stand next to them during the ceremonies. While Penelope is still courteously given the MOH title, Ally is the one who provides the most support in regard to the planning/corralling.

Wedding

Following Moroccan and Chinese traditions, the wedding celebration is several days long. I also head canon that many western regions of Cordonia outside of the five major duchies have three-day-length celebrations, including the regality from which Hana’s maternal family hails. The negafa (wedding planner) is Kiki’s paternal aunt Leïla, who is assisted by Hana’s own aunt Yawen.

Day 1: Castelsareillan

Hammam

In Morocco on the first day of a wedding celebration, the bride spends a day in the hammam (a type of steam bath or place of public bathing akin to a spa) with her companions, treating themselves with multiple body masks, scrubs, and massages as part of a bridal ritual of purification and beauty. Hanara chooses the baths and spa in Applewood visited in TRR2 and attend with their bridal party sans Zeke.

Bachelorette Party

Their joint party is thrown in Côte d'Or, the Cordonian gambling district visited in RoE which in my verse is located in one of Castelsareillan’s vassalages off the coast. Aside from the standard night on the town events, Ally also arranges a series of chuangmen (Chinese door games) for the couple to play: an alcoholic version of the Four Flavors of Life, Q&A Tests, and a Sweet Serenade karaoke session.

The theme is a rainbow, with everyone wearing a different colored dress: Ally in red, Ganga in orange, Kiara in yellow gold, Olivia in green, Penelope in blue, Savannah in purple, and Hana in pink. All of the bridesmaids wear the same cap-sleeved sequined style, while the brides’ outfits are pictured below:

Day 2: Samsara

Henna Party

Both Morocco and India have wedding traditions involving decorating the bride’s hands and feet with henna (mehndi being the South Asian term for the body art itself). Lorelai’s cousin Aparna offers her estate in Samsara (a western regality in Cordonia) as the venue, and the party is a long affair filled with food and music.

Hana wears a pink sari while Kiki dons a green kaftan. Since the brides plan to walk down the aisle the next day, they’re carried to their seats in the amaria (an elegant roofed platform) by four men: Zeke, Drake, Bertrand, and the male cousin Kiara mentions in TRR3 who I named Patrice and head canon is Joëlle’s nephew.

Having forgone a wedding shower, the brides open their gifts during the party, some of which revolve around the traditional “something old” rhyme (with the givers corresponding to whose side they walk on):

Something Old: received during the tea ceremony

Something New: white lotus hair stick (Ally), silver and onyx Berber necklace (Zeke)

Something Borrowed: Scarlet Handkerchief (Liv), Golden Tiara* (Penelope)

Something Blue: garter set (Savannah), nagapadam mala (Ganga)

*The Golden Tiara is the House treasure that was granted to the Amaranth’s when they were elevated in 1600 C.E. It was rumored that while donned, the makeup of any who wore it would remain flawless.

Rehearsal Dinner

The ribbons and bows from unwrapping the gifts are turned into two giant bouquets that the brides use for the following wedding rehearsal in place of the garlands they’ll be using for the real ceremony. They also incorporate some elements of the nischayam, an Indian Malayalee engagement ceremony generally held to formally announce the marriage, which includes exchanging horoscopes as well as the mothiram maattal (ring exchange). Since pigs are favored animals in Chinese culture, Kiara’s pet teacup pig Tambour acts as the ring bearer. At the end of the rehearsal dinner, the couple signs their marriage license following both French and Moroccan tradition (the latter of which call this ceremony Drib Sdak).

Day 3: Chrysopolis

Shutou & Jing Cha

The morning of the third and final wedding day begins in Hana’s manor in Chrysopolis with the Chinese shutou or hair combing ceremony performed by their mothers Lorelai and Joëlle. Immediately afterwards, the two change into their traditional formal wear (Hana in a qungua and Kiara in a takshita) before heading downstairs for the jing cha or tea ceremony, where their aunts have built an ancestral altar for the occasion.

The ceremony is done with both families at the same time, and in return for the tea that the couple offer, their families offer them golden jewelry and red envelopes filled with money called hongbao. They also receive from their fathers the “something old” gift that’s been passed down by their late grandmothers: a set of golden phoenix & dragon bangles for Hana and silver Berber bracelets for Kiara.

Vow Exchange

The exchanging of vows takes place outside in the sunflower garden. Kiki’s four-year-old cousin mentioned in TRH2 serves as the flower girl, and the bridal party are all dressed in a reddish mulberry and adorned with golden jewelry*. The brides change into their white outfits (Hana wearing the same dress as in canon and a veil, while Kiara dons a jumpsuit with a cape) and walk down the T-shaped aisle on the arms of their fathers to meet each other.

Hakim place Kiara’s hand in Hana’s and Xinghai hands them a pair of scissors before leaving the two to continue their march together. In a slightly altered French tradition, they must cut through the rows of white ribbons stretched across the aisle to reach the dais, where they exchange a set of garlands made from roses, fire lilies, jasmine, sunflowers, and Vescovi (magic) flowers in the Hindi jayamala ceremony, a pledge which substitutes their “I Do’s.”

Liam acts as the officiant and joins the couple’s hands together following the Agni Hito tradition of using a red string to represent their fates being bound. He hands them each a lambatha (Greek taper candle) to hold as the brides recite their individual customized vows to one another. They then use the lambathes to light a brazier filled with Heartoak wood which is placed before them.

This functions as the sacred fire for the saat phere, a Hindu wedding ritual continued by the Agni Hito where the couple walks around the fire seven times while reciting specific vows. Each circuit holds a certain meaning. Once the seventh one has been completed, Liam pronounces the two wives, and butterflies are released as they share their first kiss as a married couple.

*One of the bridal party’s statement pieces is a golden pin in the design of Hanara’s onnamon, pictured below. Mon are Japanese emblems that function similar to heraldic charges, and onnamon specifically are created by women after marriage through modifying her original family kamon. The Agni Hito, being of Japanese lineage, continued to use them within Cordonia. After becoming the Duchess of Chrysopolis, Hana adopted a new mon by turning her mother’s kamon/charge (the cherry blossom) into a butterfly-shape.

Reception

The rice toss is performed while the newlyweds exit down the aisle before everyone heads inside, where the vin d’honour (the French equivalent of a cocktail hour) is held. Kir Royale cocktails made with Cristal champagne and chocolate-coated almonds called les dragées are served, and both mahjong and mancala are played. Once all of the ~200 attendees have been greeted, they drive to the banquet hall with a liberal use of horns preceding the “just married” limo.

Each guest upon their arrival signs the livre des visiteurs (guestbook), delivers their hongbao, touches a set of oranges for good luck, and washes their hands in the orange blossom water. Ouzo and Moroccan mint tea are offered until everyone has been seated for the grand entrance, where under a shower of petals and sparklers, the newlyweds perform a TRR 2.0 Olivia-style change into their reception dresses pictured below (Hana on the left and Kiara on the right):

Thanks to @lizzybeth1986 for sharing the tumblr post with these lovely designs!

They step onto the floor with their fathers for the first dance, which they finish as a couple following French tradition. The song is one that Hana composed titled Le jardin de l'amour and performed by Kaitlyn Liao. The feast itself is a ten-course affair that contains a vast variety of cultural dishes, including drunken shrimp, butter chicken, Peking duck, pork jiaozi, tangine, bird’s nest soup, and seffa. Maxwell serves as the emcee, and toasts are given in between the various acts.

Friends provide most of the entertainment, including a ballad sung by the Cordonian Quartet, but there are also lion dancers and firecrackers following Chinese tradition. Halfway through, the couple changes into their final outfits for the night (a red qipao for Hana and a kaftan jumpsuit for Kiara). Once the last course has been served, the croquembouche (a French dessert that serves as the wedding cake) is wheeled out along with a Cordonian Ruby for the apple-cutting ceremony.

After feeding each other a slice of both, the dancing begins. The party lasts long into the night, but just before the newlyweds retire for the evening, they take part in another French tradition: eating a dish from a brand new pot de chambre (chamber pot). The bottom is lined by bananas and covered with melted chocolate before the leftover alcohol from the wedding is poured in. After the couple’s takes a drink and eats a spoonful of the gooey contents, the rest is left to be finished off by the bridal party.

Honeymoon

Lorelai’s wedding gift is the most expensive home in China, and it is here in Shanghai where Hana and Kiara spend the first week of their honeymoon, which ends with the Mid-Autumn Festival. The second week is spent in Tours, France where they go cycling and visit the famous châteaus before returning to Cordonia just in time for the Last Apple Ball.

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Sources

#the royal romance #trr #hana lee #kiara theron #hanaleeappreciationweek #hlaw 2.0 #hlaw day 5 #head canons #had the whole thing written out but putting this post together took much longer than expected #but got it finished nevertheless and by the deadline!#now i am going to pass out for the 3 hours i have left before work

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promisinininining · 6 months

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post project rambling

blood spills over is finished!

The whole thing has been planned from the beginning, but the exact scope of it kept creeping and creeping until it went form something I thought I could finish in around 5k words, to 10k, to 20k, at which point I gave up trying to estimate the length it would end up at. The last part (five of pentacles, reversed) ended up being longer than the previous parts added together, sitting at 26 out of 47k. Oops! That's longer than the previous longest fic I'd written on its own! It was only supposed to be a little thing to tide us over until the final part but ,,. uh, well, I got carried away a little. I had only written parts 1 and 2 before I started posting, and at that point I thought I was mostly done, so I thought it was safe to do so. (As an addendum, I did start posting because of my cute little stalker digging up my old accounts and sending abuse to those inboxes, where I hadn't closed anon off yet, so it was a bit of a spite fuelled adventure at the beginning.) I don't normally like to post things before they're finished because quite frankly I didn't trust myself to actually finish it, but I guess because I had a clear ending in mind, I was able to get there eventually.

I am not used to being in such a big fandom, so the support has been a completely new experience, and it's honestly been a little overwhelming (in the best way possible). I have been on the struggle bus these past few monoths with moving to a new house and a ton of unexpected bills on top of it, and I don't think I would have been able to get to this point without my friends and reviewers. I've met so many wonderful people, and it's been fun being in a fandom that isn't just me and my best buds.

About the story itself, there were a few deleted scenes that I wished I could put in, but ultimately decided against. Goro was initially going to physically meet Rumi, for one, but it didn't quite fit, and it felt like it was distracting from the main story too much, which was ultimately Goro finding something to live for. There was definitely not enough time for him to learn to love himself in just the short space of time where the third semester took place, but he has the rest of his life to learn how to, surrounded by people who are willing to show him by loving him back.

Sumire's relationship with Goro is also one that I really wanted to play with, especially as two extremely cynical people who don't really interact in canon. I feel like it's easy to just see Sumi as someone who's peppy and a little airheaded, but she's also extremely depressed, and put her entire existence on fulfilling her sister's wish, much like Goro's existence is based on killing Shido. I think they would understand each other intrinsically on a level that is very fun to explore, beyond "well we both love pego". Also, Atlus what the heck did you do with her. Give her to me. Let me sort it. I didn't think it helped her character any by being kidnapped for a week then beaten up and suddenly being like "wow you're right I can live as myself now". She needed to find that inner strength herself, with a little nudge from Goro who recognises the same pain. Of course, Goro's solution was "kill the person responsible" and Sumire can't reaaally do that with a hit and run, but she has a better support system than Goro and can learn to channel that more productively. If it's gymnastics, or something else entirely, I don't know.

I don't want to go too deep into the details with futaba and haru because this is already getting QUITE LONG, and I'm certain that there are only going to be a few people who have read this far, and those people already know how I feel about their relationship. I mean I was pretty clear in the fic itself, it's one of the less subtle things, I think; Futaba is the youngest, and she's extremely traumatised, and people have been enabling her bad behaviour by indulging it. It's 'helpful' rather than invasive, and okay, it saved Akira's life... but I do think there was definitely a better way to do it than bugging his phone. (Actually, another thing I didn't get to touch on is how the Thieves blatantly used Goro for their own plan regarding the interrogation room rather than attempting to understand him or his motives, perfectly fine with manipulating him back to thinking he's manipulating them, and how much that would fuck up someone who already has a complex about being used... but that's for another day and another fic, I think).

Finally, Maruki: this man is fucked up. I know it's easy to see him as sympathetic when he has the best intentions, and wants to 'help' people, but intentions don't matter when it comes to hurt and abuse. You can intend to be a perfectly kind person and still abuse your power over them. Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, he's such a fucked up little skrungley boy, but he's definitely not the wet cat that he looks like at first glance. He's a researcher, forward in his field of cognitive pscience to the point where he awakened his own powers by himself, and has been shamelessly abusing his position as a therapist to get more information for his own gain (which, I emphasise, is to control the lives of everyone ever so that nobody suffers again) from the main cast.

Anyway, before I sign off, I will put out there that I have been thinking about Strikers, But With Baby Rei On Board. It's been spinning in my head since I finished. it's not going to happen (I refuse to do an entire game rewrite--just the third semester was an entire Thing, and I hate rehashing canon scenes), but hopefully you can glean some fun and entertaining thoughts about it. If you do, let me know! or don't.

A'ight, that's it from me. Thank you for reading. It's been... well, not long, but I feel like my writing is a little dense and requires some re-reads to fully experience it, so it FEELS longer than it is. Either way, I am kissing gently every single one of you who have made it this far down my massive ramble. Thank you, truly.

MIS

#the content creator is gurgling again #mis-types #comments welcome

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spaceoddball1969 · 2 years

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Falling for the Freak - Eddie Munson Fix-it Fic Chapter 01

Okie dokie...here it is. Well, at least chapter one. I have literally no promises for this thing. I haven’t written creatively in like 2 years and barely ever have time, but here’s to trying something new. Please don’t tear it to shreds.

PLOT SUMMARY: This is meant to be a fix-it type fic for season 4 so I can feel less depressed. If you want a bigger overview of what this is about see my original posts about it below. Y/N - female reader. She has taken two gap years between high school and college, so she is around the same age as Eddie, if not a year older. I will try to keep detailed physical descriptions to a minimum so y’all can truly imagine yourself in the story. There is will be fluff, angst, and smut eventually. For now we’re just in the very very beginnings.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Y/N moves to Hawkins to live with her aunt and cousin, Dustin, while she takes community college classes. She moves in and catches up with her favorite cousin.

WARNINGS: None

I watched from the backseat of my parents’ Town and Country as my dad pulled onto my aunt’s street. This was going to be my new residence, at least for the time being until I could save enough money for an apartment. I had lived in a small city just over an hour outside of Hawkins my entire life. However, when my dad got laid off this last year and suddenly our income plummeted, my parents decided that some sacrifices needed to be made. The biggest sacrifice of them all? My finally starting college at Indiana University Bloomington. Instead I was to be moving in with my Aunt Claudia and my cousin, Dustin, and attending classes at the nearest community college. My aunt allowing me to stay with her in Hawkins helped to cut down the expense of commuting to campus each day. Her house was so much closer to campus, in fact, that my parents had decided that I no longer needed a car to myself and that a bike would suffice to make the commute. That bike was now strapped to the back of the car and shaking violently as we pulled up the driveway of Aunt Claudia’s house.

I had a week until my classes started. My parents decided that it would be best to move me into Aunt Claudia’s house with enough time to adjust to my new living situation before I had to deal with my first college courses. It had been a while since I had sat in a classroom as I took a few gap years between high school and college. My parents were not totally sure I’d make the return to school smoothly. I had a week before I could prove them wrong. But first, I had to make sure everything was in order in my new home.

As we pulled in the drive of Aunt Claudia’s home, she excitedly stepped out the front door, my cousin not far behind her. It wasn’t so much that I was living with Aunt Claudia and Dustin that bothered me. It was more the whole giving up on my dreams of a four year university that really put a damper on the situation. I was happy to get to spend some more time with my aunt and Dustin. When Dustin was a little kid, he would follow me everywhere whenever my parents and I visited. It had been a few years since we had spent any serious time together, but I was still looking forward to seeing him again.

“Oh my gosh look how you’ve grown!” Aunt Claudia squealed as I stepped out of the parked car.

“Hi, Aunt Claudia,” I said, giving in to her tight hug. “It’s so good to see you,”

“We’re so excited to have you here with us for a while,” she replied, letting me go.

“Thank you again, sis,” my dad said, giving my Aunt a knowing look.

“You are more than welcome,” she said.

My parents helped me move my things out of the car and into the guest bedroom. My room was small, but cozy. I had a single bed, a writing desk with a lamp on it, and a dresser for my clothes. I also had a small closet that I hung some of my nicer clothes in. Within a few hours, I was unpacked and fairly settled into my new space. Once I had thrown my suitcases under the bed, I collapsed onto the mattress, exhausted from the drive and all the unpacking. I then heard a soft knock on the door.

“Come on in,” I called from my place on the bed.

“Y/N?” It was Dustin. He opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

“Hey, Dusty, what’s up?” I asked, pushing myself up on my elbows.

“Oh, you probably shouldn’t call me that anymore,” He said, his cheeks turning pink.

“And why not?” I asked, fully sitting up. “Are you too cool for my nicknames now?”

“No, it’s just,” He stumbled over his words for a second. “That’s what my girlfriend calls me,” he finally admitted.

“You have a girlfriend?!” I asked. “Oh my gosh that’s so exciting!” Dustin broke out into a big smile. “Yeah, her name’s Suzy. She lives in Utah though, so I don’t see her much,” Dustin and I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up. He refreshed my memory of each of his friends. He explained that he was still close with Mike, Lucas, and Will, and that a few girls had finally joined their party and that their names were Max and Jane. Will, unfortunately, had moved to California with his mom, brother, and Jane, who was his adopted sister. I was sad to hear that as I had always had a bit of a soft spot for Will when we were all growing up.

Just like me, Dustin was a week away from starting school. It was going to be his first year of high school. I cringed in remembrance of my first year of high school.

“Just be yourself,” I said. “You’ll find your place. And you’ll have Mike and Lucas to hang out with,”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Mike’s still great, but Lucas keeps talking about how he wants things to be different this year. He’s talking about joining the basketball team,”

“Would that be the worst thing?” I asked.

“I guess not,” Dustin said. “It’s just, all the popular kids are on the sports teams, and we’re not exactly what you would call popular,” “Popularity is overrated,” I said, “Lucas will realize that in time. And maybe he just wants to play basketball, it might not have anything to do with popularity,” “I guess you’re right,” Dustin said.

“Of course I’m right,” I said, standing up from the bed. “Now, how about we go talk your mom into ordering us a pizza for dinner?”

To that, Dustin gave me a wide smile. We were just about to step out the door of my new bedroom, when Dustin stopped me. “Y/N?” he asked.

“Yeah?” “I’m glad you’re here,” he said.

“I think I’m glad I’m here too,” I smiled. “Now come one, pizza, pizza, pizza,”

Chapter 02

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #female reader #fix it fic #chapter 01 #new fanfic author please don't kill me

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astranite · 11 months

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1, 2 and then 14 for Alan mayhaps? 😁💕

Greetings!!! Sorry this took a while to answer. Me or tumblr *glares suspiciously* accidentally managed to delete everything I’d typed mid-answer, and I have had A Week, so I’ve only just gotten around to re-writing. But hey, I’m here now and still excited about thunderpride!!! (and I think this is longer than the original!)

2- Queer ships for Thunderbirds? I love Kayo and Penelope together!

a) Their relationship is so interesting to me. (I haven’t actually read a huge amount of Kayo/Penny, so this is mostly from my own thoughts.)

I see them as foils for each other in a way that brings them closer together. Penny and Kayo have very different backgrounds and outside appearances, yet they are similar at the core. Both are determined and devoted to their causes and ruthless when it comes to people they love being hurt. Kayo’s armour is in seeming dangerous, while Penelope’s in appearing harmless. A lot of vulnerability and trust would go into learning how to be together, but their relationship's greatest strength is not having to put up appearances, able to understand and be themselves with each other completely.

b) lesbians. Need I say more? (We always need more WLW in fandom!)

1- Headcanons! I’m going to answer for Alan, because I sure do have a lot of queer headcanons!

I absolutely love Alan being trans. Like so much. He’s a character I’ve become unexpectedly fond of with a side of concerned ‘oh gosh, he’s just a kid, who let the kid go out on space rescues?!’ The contrast between International Rescue operative and literally a teenager.

Alan going through the normal things of being a teen, figuring out gender, still in highschool, all the while flying around a rocket for International Rescue. Just the relatableness, of ‘yeah I’ve been there too,’ and getting to show him having a super supportive family, and the representation of him being a part of International Rescue who people and kids in and out of universe look up to!

There are a bunch of amazing works from people in this fandom too!

I reckon Alan really likes the word queer for describing his sexuality. He’s still young and figuring himself out, and doesn't want the pressure to define himself by just one narrow and constricting label. While questioning, he tried on a bunch of more specific ones, maybe bi or pan, but none of them really stuck. He likes people of all different genders and prefers the freedom of being himself as he is in the moment without having it fit into a neat box.

14- Coming out!

My thinking is Alan only realised he was trans around 13/14. And I’ve accidentally written a fic here for you, whoops!

It's titled "As Sure As the Stars," about Alan growing up, figuring out he's trans and coming out! Much queer joy there!

AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/47963065

Also as a Tumblr post with the same title! It's tagged under ThunderPride. (I have no clue how to link Tumblr posts to each other, someone please tell me, help!)

For coming out as queer, it’s not a big deal but they still celebrate! Alan isn't exactly the first of his siblings to not be straight. Actually thinking about it, none of them are. This is Alan’s turn, for him to celebrate who he is and have pride in it. His whole family is there to show their support, like they are everyday, today just a bit louder. An excuse for a party is an excuse for a party! There is rainbow icecream cake flown in from the mainland on TB-One so it doesn't melt, and who let Gordy get his hands on glitter?!

Alan grins every time he finds rainbow glitter in a crevice of the house. A reminder of his family’s love and support for him, in the enduring nature of sparkles!

Thank you for the ask!!!

#thunderpride #thunderbirds are go #ask game #alan tracy #AstraWrite

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satanicchristiancult · 8 months

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Heartstopper 7-30, and why it is that representation matters

Or: the perspective from a queer and mentally ill teen about figuring out your future and moving forward from the past, through an analysis of a singular chapter of Heartstopper

Alternatively: a queer, mentally ill teen projecting their issues and analyzing life itself through a comic about queer, mentally ill teens

Warnings: spoilers for all of the comic version of Heartstopper up until the most recent update (September 11, 2023), past self-harm, issues with self-image, and unspecified eating disorders (all of them both in fiction and in real life). (The last one isn’t really spoken about, but the topic lingers around this essay, keep that in mind).

It’s the second time I’m writing this. Bear with me. It’s long. You’ve been warned. Also, as you can see, this was written over the course of two days, and took multiple days for me to clean up and post. It’s no longer Monday 11th, so there are inconsistencies.

Today I woke up like any other Monday morning. Grabbed my phone at 5 am before getting ready for class. Today is update day for Heartstopper, as is every 1st, 11th, and 21st of each month. I looked up the chapter on Tumblr, read half of it, got ready for the day, read the rest of the update, and kept going with my day.

Usually, I wouldn’t think much about it throughout the day. I would think about it and re-read the chapter during the time between classes, or during lunch. Today was different. We’re in the middle of exam season. Today’s exam had to be done in a very small amount of time, only an hour. All of it was writing and analyzing. It’s 20% of the grade for the class. I spent 15 minutes of said exam just thinking about Heartstopper.

Here’s the thing about me. I have the tendency to fall in love with fiction. I will find something new, a book, a series, whatever, and consume all of it, engage with the fandom, consume all of it again, and repeat the whole thing until I find something new.

I engaged with Heartstopper a while after it had first been presented to me. Just like right now, it was the middle of exam season and I needed to get my mind off of things. I opened Tapas, which I often use to read things, mostly fan comics. I saw that Heartstopper was in there for free. I thought it was odd, but I was bored and tired, so I began reading.

I read the whole thing in two days, only three hours or something like that. At first, it became something like a comfort for me. A world that resembled the real world but made it its ideal version. Heartstopper presented me with a dream-like gay relationship, filled with self-discovery, varied characters, and, once again, an idealized version of the world.

It was so liberating at first. What if the world was like that? What if we didn’t have to fear people that much? What if life could be so filled with love?

Then it got dark.

Holy- then it got dark. It broke me, but I loved it. Gosh, I really did. I love stories about mental health. I love reading about how life can break a human being, but at the same time, how it can slowly and carefully put them back together. Sure, life is not perfect, and therefore, a person will never be fixed, and they will never be “how they used to be”, but life can persevere through darkness and pain. Life can get better. That’s what I chose to believe.

I’ve always related more to Charlie than to any other Heartstopper character, (aside from Tori, but she doesn’t really count as a Heartstopper character). We both struggle with similar issues, and we both deal with them in similar ways. Unhealthy coping mechanisms, baby~!

This arc of Nick trying to choose a university is significant to me, mostly because I’m having the same issues as him. I’m supposed to have figured out what I’m going to do, and I’m supposed to know where that’s going to be. I don’t know anything. I know what area I’m interested in, but that’s still not enough.

Currently, Nick is touring universities with his friends, trying to make plans for the future, while figuring out whether or not he’s willing to leave behind the people he loves for the sake of his education and personal growth.

That struck a nerve in me. I’m also terrified of leaving behind my friends, who are essentially my family. I want to be the best version possible of me. I want to have these new, meaningful, and life-altering experiences.

When I was younger, I used to think that I wouldn’t make it far. I thought that I would die young and I would be at fault for that. I found hope and comfort whenever I thought about college. I always thought/dreamed about leaving everything behind, going to the US, and living the “American Dream”. I never cared whether or not it was doable, it was my dream and it was going to happen one way or another.

Now I’m older. Somehow still alive. More bitter than before. Sadly enough, I don’t allow myself to dream about those things anymore and still believe that they can and will happen. Now, my perception of the US has been broken and I’m truly afraid of even going there.

Back to Heartstopper 7-30, Nick and the gang visit the University of Leeds. Nothing seems to particularly catch their eye, but they speak with a student, and things change.

Nick gets asked the question. That haunting question that almost seems to chase you down. “What are you thinking of studying?” Then comes the dreaded answer, “I’m still undecided.” Lucky for him, he doesn’t seem to take it in a bad way or overanalyze the situation.

How the social life is described to Nick attracts him to the university. He’s interested in the sports facilities, because he’s our rugby boy, so of course he would be. The person he’s talking to tells him that their partner is in the team, and that they are really enjoying it.

That’s the moment in which, even if isn’t consciously, Nick makes his decision. He turns around and sees a group of students playing rugby. One of them turns around and waves at them, signifying that they are the other one’s partner. The rest of the group just looks at them and smile.

They just seem to accept each other no matter what. They show affection between them and don’t even question it. That means the world to Nick. That’s everything he wants. A community. To be accepted. To be able to engage in one of his favorite activities, rugby, and not have to hide who he truly is. He sees himself as one of them. Straight up, imagines himself in their shoes, and he finally finds what he’s looking for.

A year ago, I started telling myself that I should figure things out. I went to a fair with multiple international universities that offered different programs for students from my country. At the end of the day, the dream never fully dies, I guess. I still want that god-forsaken college experience that appears in books and movies. That feeling of community. Anything.

I found this public university in the middle of nowhere, but it truly did captivate me. I don’t even remember why. Cool mascot, a nice ambiance. Good enough. I looked them up on Instagram and fell in love. Their posts were truly everything I had ever dreamed of. Community, acceptance, fun, pure joy, and happiness on that campus.

Then, what meant the most to me: an LGBTQIA2S+ organization. Queer-friendly spaces. Monthly meeting just to talk. I can’t stress enough how relevant this one was for me at first, a bingo game night with drag queens.

Where I come from, people know that you’re queer and you’re dead, honestly. You will never hear the end of it. We isolate ourselves because we know that otherwise, we’d have to fight daily just to be tolerated, to be heard. We’d have to argue why our existence is okay.

This idea of being out, the whole concept to me is wild. I genuinely never considered it a possibility. Being openly queer, alongside other openly queer people is something revolutionary in my head. I do mean it.

I understand Nick. Finally finding a place where you think that you could actually belong is such a liberating experience. The idea of “I could be there”, “I could be one of them”, “I could be myself and not have to worry”. It changes everything. It genuinely does.

I truly do hope that Nick finds himself at home in Leeds. I wish him only the best. May he figure out what he wants to do, and may he be happy doing it.

Now, time for. Charlie.

He barely even appears on this update, yet, his actions are incredibly relevant, both to his character development and to all of the people reading.

Charlie’s mental health has been all over the place, that’s something everyone who has ever interacted with Heartstopper knows. Most fans can also say that they relate to this. A pretty big amount of the fans of this saga would say that they consider themselves LGBTQIA2S+ and/or people who are currently or in the past have struggled with their mental health.

The beauty of Heartstopper is that we get to see these characters grow, not only grow older, but also grow emotionally. They get to learn about themselves. They get to battle their internal conflicts and win them.

Charlie means a lot to a lot of people. He means a lot to me. He is, in some way or another, a reflection of myself. My issues. My life. Which is really worrying, actually, but it does mean something. People relate to him. He is a good enough representation of mental health issues for people to be able to identify with him.

In this update, Charlie wants Nick to see him without his shirt on for the first time ever. This is such a big step for him. For his recovery. Charlie has many self-image issues, especially around his arms and torso. All of us readers know how hard this was for him, therefore, we know how much this moment means.

I love that it wasn’t like a gigantic revelation that was reacted to in an exaggerated manner. Nick, being Nick, just blushed heavily. He truly is the personification of ‘bi crisis’. Good for him.

Some of Charlie’s biggest insecurities, as seen in 7-13, are the fact that he’s skinny and has scars. The entirety of chapter 7 has focused on how hard this is on him, and how much it affects his daily life.

Him taking off his shirt doesn’t mean that he overcame this issues. Recovery isn’t linear. This action only means that he’s finally comfortable enough to try. That’s all that recovery really is. Trying, hoping, to get better.

As the audience, an outsider looking in, we have seen Charlie shirtless before. Something new happened this time. We saw something that we didn’t need to see, but some of us, me included, are glad we saw. We saw Charlie’s self-harm scars.

It could be stupid. It could be worthless, but it meant a lot to many of us. It meant a lot to Charlie.

Charlie finally feels confident enough with himself to show this part of him to his boyfriend. Sure, he trusts him with all of his very being. Charlie is well aware that Nick will never judge him for it, but his mind doesn’t see it that way. Charlie is in a fight of will against himself. He wants this, he truly does, but there’s a voice in his head telling him that everything could go wrong. Even if it’s illogical. Even if he knows that it is.

I love how Alice just subtly writes onto the story small details that will later on become important for the plot. They don’t even have to be really important. Them being there is enough. Every single time in which he holds onto his arm, or anyone touches that specific area, there’s always a reaction from him. Every time he feels insecure, he holds onto that specific area.

It could be because I’m an angst-loving fanfic reader/writer, but I always wanted to see those scars. It might be a morbid thought, but I really did want to. We didn’t need it, sure, but seeing them shows that they aren’t just a plot devise. We know that they aren’t only that, but it’s just one of those illogical thoughts that one might have.

Seeing them shows their severity. Seeing them shows how far Charlie has come.

To me, seeing them meant seeing someone like me in a book. On a published book. In the future, on a TV show.

It is one thing to read about it in fan fiction, in people’s blogs, on YouTube videos of people who are getting better, or anything like that. Anyone can post that. It being on something published in that way, something edited and checked by so many people, something that could be professionally translated onto other languages, something that at some point we may find in a library. It means a lot to me.

Alice Oseman’s book Loveless caused the same impact on me. My first time reading a book where there were asexual and/or aromantic characters, non-binary characters. There are people like me in media. In books. In my home country, as oddly homophobic and transphobic as it is, I can go to a bookstore and buy myself a copy of this book. It is real. I am, in fact, not faking all of this. Other people are like me.

Six years I’ve been hiding my arms from the world. I’ve spent my whole life hiding my legs, but three or four years ago I began hiding them for other reasons as well.

Six years ago someone finally asked me, in a worried tone, what happened to my arms. People had asked before, but no one ever asked as if they were concerned. Six years ago it happened for the first and only time. I haven’t worn a sleeveless shirt outside of my room in all that time. I don’t know if I ever will.

Charlie gives me hope. Maybe, one day I will. Who knows. I don’t really want to do that now, but if I ever do, I know that I could.

It is nice to see oneself represented in media. Small representation means something. A more relevant role means even more though.

As a child from a pretty ignored country, I found myself represented in Elena of Avalor, in Marco Díaz from Star vs. the Forces of Evil. Neither one of them was from my country, not even close, but it was as close as I could get.

Representation to me meant the beginning and sometimes end of the Jurassic Park movies, “Isla Nublar, 120 miles west of Costa Rica.” That island doesn’t even exist.

Nowadays, there’s an NCIS character who at some point talks about wanting to move to a beach in Costa Rica. I thought that was going to be it. She would retire, never be seen again on screen, but would still call every once in a while. I don’t regularly watch NCIS, but I pick it up randomly at times. Recently I saw that she didn’t even move to Costa Rica, so that’s that for my “representation.” I don’t know what has happened since, I mean it when I say that I don’t really know what happens on NCIS.

Representation can come in many different forms, in this case, it comes in the shape of a boy who only wants to belong somewhere, and another one finding his place, and finding comfort in his own body after struggling with it for so long.

Representation shows people that they aren’t alone. It shows how important it is to see someone like you on any type of media.

The mere acknowledgment of one’s identity or existence is an indescribable feeling. Seeing oneself in any type of media genuinely causes a great impact.

Representation is necessary, and it not only helps people feel seen, but it also teaches others about different aspects of life that they might not think about. People’s lives are different. Representation helps to put it into perspective.

-Mori (They/Xem)

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collecting-stories · 11 months

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Okay obx after season one feels super kid show like to me it’s literally an ma show but they don’t cuss anymore or anything also certain actors for the show literally seem so over this show as a whole like they didn’t go to a ton of interviews for the show this season and the whole pougelandia speech they had Sarah do was weird to me and I wish they didn’t put jj and kie together so unnecessary to do that cause no everyone in the group is dating and I doubt they’ll break any of them up the writing was good season 1 then it went downhill after but also I don’t really like the show either because everyone from the show in real life Is problematic or dating or hangs with problematic people like it’s crazy how famous they all are now and how many followers they have 2020 right after the show came out when everyone were friends was the vibe anything after like right after it came out the vibes were gone the new season gave me like shows I watched when I was young I also don’t think any of them act very well

There is a lot to unpack here but I’m gonna try lol…

I don’t necessarily feel like the last season of obx felt like it was for kids so much as I felt like they were trying to be more family friendly. I think with the first season the idea was that the show was for like teens/young adults. After it took off and really got popular I think the Pate’s and Netflix realized it was whole families that were watching together, not just the demographic they intended to appeal to. I mean, I’ve watched some really great kids shows on Netflix (Anne with an E, Julie and the Phantoms, Babysitter’s Club, She-ra) and just because no one really curses on obx and there aren’t any explicit scenes doesn’t make it a kids show. I curse a lot irl but I don’t think that cursing has ever added to a tv show (language is vast and unending, you don’t need to say fuck twenty times to get your message across and if you do that’s just bad writing).

I obviously can’t speak to actors’ decisions not to do every interview but I’d imagine that some of it had to do with scheduling conflicts. Like yeah, for the majority of them OBX was their first major show but it’s not the only show they’re ever gonna work on. I mean Madelyn Cline alone has a lot going on, and I know Rudy has done one or two other things besides OBX, it stands to reason that they aren’t just sitting around waiting for interviews post-filming and that they have other job obligations. I also don’t really think not being on an interview is proof that they’re “over” the show. Maybe they are but also they’re making a shit-ton of money so I’m sure they can suck it up and be professional.

Story wise, I’ll agree that I didn’t really love this season, which I’ve definitely said multiple times. It just didn’t have the same vibes as season one. I’ll agree too that I didn’t love the Poguelandia speech or even the idea that Poguelandia (which is a stupid name, thanks JJ) was paradise on Earth. I can’t go on vacation with someone for longer than three days without absolutely losing my shit (and I know that’s just my autistic ass not transitioning well but you can’t tell me getting stranded on a deserted island was all good times…I’ve seen Castaway).

I think the Kiara/JJ storyline was all fan service. Which like, on the one hand I love fan service. But you know who does fan service well? Pysch. After season one I think the vast majority of the fandom wanted Jiara to happen but the Pate’s had already written Kiara getting with Pope and weren’t prepared to amend that who season one ending in season two just for the fans. But obviously in season three the fans won and Jiara became a thing (I’m still holding a candle for JJ/Pope).

As far as the cast being problematic…as I said earlier, this show got way bigger than anyone could’ve known and this was the first major show for a lot of this cast. When you become that famous that quickly you aren’t gonna make everyone happy all the time and you don’t have a team of people curating everything you do and say. Also I hate this idea that someone is problematic and we immediately can’t like them anymore like…there just needs to be some definition to the term or something.

Yeah I’m sure some 20-somethings who are suddenly super famous and who exist in a timeline where everyone strives to know everything about you all the time aren’t going to have the most spot-free reputation but unless they like actively murdered someone/assaulted someone/are antisemitic/racist/homophobic/transphobic/Islamophobic etc. I’m not gonna subscribe to this idea that you can’t like their work because they’re problematic. (Harry Styles is problematic but everyone loves him…I love Taylor Swift. Is she problematic? Yeah, a lot of the time). People are people and they aren’t perfect. And expecting a 20 year old that suddenly has hundreds of thousands of followers to be is insane.

And finally, I disagree that none of them can act. As I’ve said before, I think Madelyn Cline and Drew Starkey are their most talented actors. Jonathan Daviss and Rudy Pankow are also fantastic actors and they’ve really had some excellent scenes where I’m just blown away by their talent. So I wouldn’t ever say none of them can act.

tl;dr - I can’t even summarise this…basically, I keep saying I don’t want to talk about the actors just the show and somehow end up talking about the actors.

#some more obx thoughts

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unfriendlyamazon · 1 year

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1, 3, 13, and 21 for the fanfic asks !! 💕

this will be fun because i don't think i posted much this year but i do a lot of writing you don't see

1.favorite fic

reread a bunch of my joukai week from last year and final countdown is something i had in my head for a long, long time originally it was supposed to be the end of a longer form fic that i trashed and i'm very happy i managed to get the momentum i needed for that finale

3.favorite line/scene

this one was way too hard i had to scroll through all the things i've written, wips, and things i've never posted but i forgot my favorite thing in the world is to write pegasus so here's a bit from the secret archives

Duke had met Samantha R. Pegasus only in the safety of the huge estate just outside the city, where it seemed she had a whole wing to herself. Sometimes, at parties, she’d jump around and bark happily at the guests until a butler picked her up and quietly put her in another room. Duke tended to avoid dogs. They weren’t afraid of them, per se, but they weren’t going out of their way to make friends.

“I blocked off the afternoon to finish the coding on the Millennium project,” they said. “The deadline’s coming up–”

Pegasus held up a hand. “Don’t worry your pretty head, dear Duke. Samantha here is a remarkable companion during crunch time. You’ll barely even notice her.”

Duke sucked in a breath. There was never any arguing with Pegasus. Once he told you to do something, that was it.

“I guess,” they said, “if it’s just for the afternoon.”

“Marvelous!” He kissed his dog again and set her on the pillow. He slung a pink tote from around his shoulder and held it out to Duke, who took it reluctantly. “There’s her midday snack in there, along with her spring water–she just won’t drink from the tap–and her harness and leash for when she needs to take her afternoon walk. She usually goes around 3. Just around the block should be fine.”

“Walk?” Duke opened the bag and stared in horror. “But–”

“Her little baggies and booties are in there as well. She’ll be a dream, Duke. You’ll see.”

Their mouth dropped open, but they couldn’t come up with an appropriate protest. Pegasus laid a hand on their shoulder, and they stared up at him.

“She’s more precious to me than anything,” he said. “Except perhaps this company, or my home, or my oodles of money. But still very high on the list. There’s no one else I’d entrust her too.”

Duke swallowed. “Of course, sir.”

“Good.” He flipped his hair back and blew one more kiss to Samantha. “Be good, darling. I’ll be back in no time. Toodles!”

Duke waved a hand at his back and offered a weak, “Toodles.”

13.favorite writing song/album

i don't really have a go to album for writing i tend to make playlists that fit the mood/tone/vibe though i do think this year i relied on the crypt of the necrodancer soundtrack to drown out distractions

21.most memorable comment/review

this one is not actually yugioh related i also have a sims tumblr and mostly for myself i started a series where several premade sims go to magic high school together. i wrote a sort of episode one for it and was surprised by an incredibly sweet comment that highlighted one of my favorite things to write, which is a dynamic. i expected minimal response and to get such an excited comment for something so silly made me really happy.

and all of this has reminded me how ugly my blog is lol so new year new me i suppose. thank you for the ask!!!

#fanfic #ask #splenderdai

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anexperimentallife · 2 years

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Jan 18, 2022: US couple in danger of being forced to leave our baby daughter overseas

TL;DR: We’re an interracial, neurodivergent US couple in the Philippines. I’m also physically disabled. A paperwork snafu left our daughter (born here during lockdown) stateless, and Immigration is skeptical about an extension to our visas while we get it sorted, meaning they may force us to leave without our daughter in MARCH.

There’s a guaranteed way for ONE of us to stay, but it costs 10K USD PLUS other fees, and we don’t have that just laying around. I cannot begin to imagine the trauma to El if they force us to leave without her, not knowing when we’ll see each other again.

PayPal Donation Link (preferred bc this one takes the lowest fees)

GoFundMe

Ko-Fi

Secondary Paypal Link (bc some non-US folks had trouble with the preferred one--but this one takes full fees)

Details, for those who want the whole story:

(New post because the old one was getting clogged with updates.) I am autistic, and physically disabled, with several comorbidities. I moved to the Philippines in 2018, in part to make my disability check stretch further. My girlfriend joined me here later that year. Immigrating to the Philippines on a tourist visa is a fairly common practice, as you can keep getting extensions for up to 36 months, after which you have to leave the country and return to “reset” for another 36 months, so that was our plan. Of course, lockdown hit in 2020, so that became impossible.

A couple of months after lockdown hit, we found out (surprise!) that we were having a baby. Our daughter Eleanor was born in the Philippines in March of 2021, under COVID lockdown. Complications with the birth tripled our hospital bill and required a C-Section.

Here’s where it gets tricky: Zoey (aka @thesurestthing ) had gone into the delivery room with a paper on which she had written all the names we had been considering, and was so groggy from the C-Section anesthetic that she didn’t realize they were putting ALL of the names on the form, PLUS adding her last name as a middle name (which is the tradition here). I would have stepped in, but this is the Philippines, and the father isn’t even allowed in the delivery room here, so I had no idea what was going on until much later. (And thanks to anesthesia, neither did Zoey.)

You know that comedy trope of someone reciting their name, and it takes like thirty seconds to get through the whole thing? Yeah, it was like that. We weren’t happy about it, but our annoyance was overshadowed by having a baby.

Considering our newborn (and my health, and the pandemic, thanks to a letter from my doctor) Immigration granted us an additional ten months extension beyond the usual 36, which would take us to March of 2022.

That should have been plenty of time to get things sorted, but when we went to have El officially declared a US citizen, we found that the snafu on her birth certificate meant her name was too long to fit on the American forms. And the local registry office refused to submit a request to amend her birth certificate until we could provide several very specific “proofs” of using the shorter name.

In some cases it was a matter of, “You need document A as one of the three proofs. To get that, you need a copy of Document B. Oh, but you can’t get Document B unless you already have Document A.”

So took literally months, two lawyers, and a favor from a friend to get that documentation together. Among other things, we had to find a church that would hold a baptism or dedication ceremony for a baby born to two atheists (luckily, a friend in Manila’s wife knew a Bishop here, and called in a favor for us), and hire a lawyer to swear and affirm that sixteen is a higher number than fifteen (I wish I were joking there).

It took even longer because in the meantime, I got COVID, and we all had to quarantine at home. (Thankfully El didn’t get it. That took a couple of thousand out of the donation fund, though, considering I had to be on an oxygen machine for a month, among other treatments.)

When we finally got everything they required to submit the request to fix El’s birth certificate (middle of November), we were informed it would take four to six months to get an answer and/or an amended birth certificate from the main office in Quezon City. This means we are likely looking at the middle of May before we can get the birth certificate with her correct name. But our extensions expire in March. You see the issue? If our request for reconsideration is denied, they could force us to leave the country without our daughter unless we come up with enough for the SRRV (explained below).

And we need the corrected birth certificate before we can even BEGIN the process of having El recognized as a US citizen and get her a passport. (The US embassy here has also cut back on services, and stated they are no longer processing emergency passports, so we’ll have to wait the normal length of time.)

The local immigration office has advised me to apply for the SRRV, a special retirement visa which would give me (and only me) permanent residency, meaning I could stay with El no matter how long the process takes. Zoey would still have to return to the states without us, because she doesn’t qualify. Also, the SRRV requires a minimum ten thousand US dollar deposit, in addition to other fees. And as I told the guy at Immigration, we don’t HAVE ten thousand dollars just laying around.

One person at the local office has said there’s no chance of another extension, and that the SRRV is our only shot. Another one said they think we MAY be extended again because of the extenuating circumstances, but it apparently depends on what kind of day the person in Quezon City (who has never seen us) is having when they get our request.

The kicker is that we can’t even APPLY for reconsideration until February, and by the time we get an answer, if we’re denied, it will be too late to do anything about it.

To sum up: If we’re denied another lengthy extension (which there seems to be a 50/50 chance of), we could be forced to leave the country without our daughter, and unable to return to her until the country opens back up. And no one knows when that will be. If we can come up with the money for the SRRV, though, it is GUARANTEED that at least I can stay with her. Losing her mommy would be terrible enough; I cannot begin to imagine the trauma to El if she has to lose both of her parents until who knows when--months, years, whenever they open the country again.

Even if they DO approve another lengthy extension (again, looks like a 50/50 chance), it’ll still cost thousands. So if we end up not needing (or not getting enough money for) the SRRV, anything donated will go to that, plus paying off medical bills, taking care of needed travel--Because even if everything goes perfectly, and they extend us for as long as we need, we will still have to travel to Manila to present El in person at the embassy before they’ll affirm her citizenship, and unless they reopen the country by the end of our (hypothetical) new extensions, we’ll still have to leave behind the life we’ve built here and start completely from scratch.

For that matter, even if we come up with enough for the SRRV, unless they open the country by the time El’s paperwork is sorted, we’ll STILL have to relocate once our daughter can legally travel, because our little girl needs both her parents.

Basically, it’s all a big mess caused by a misunderstanding at El’s birth. To be honest, we need about three times what is listed on the GoFundMe when you consider the medical and legal and travel and likely relocation expenses and all, but we weren’t comfortable asking for more.

Amazing what a cascading pile of adversity can be caused by a single moment of confusion during childbirth, isn’t it?

If you actually read all that, thank you. It helps to blurt the whole thing out on occasion. If you can help, please do, because we’re running out of time, If not, please reblog.

And thank you again, especially to those who have already helped. Thanks to your generosity, we’re almost halfway to the initial goal of being able to apply for the SRRV (and we’d be even closer if I hadn’t gotten COVID). If we can get that out of the way, all other efforts go towards the rest of the fallout from this situation.

#donation post #family #mutual aid #signal boost #cripple punk

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frogtanii · 3 years

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your palms were sweaty as you adjusted your slacks, making sure the pleats were where they should be with not a wrinkle in sight. you wanted to look professional and put together, at least on the outside, because you knew you were actually about .2 seconds away from falling apart.

a quick glance to the boys at your sides notified you that they weren’t faring much better. atsumu kept fidgeting with his cufflinks, sakusa was so stiff you could knock him over with your pinky, kenma looked like he was about to pass out, bokuto was debating on squeezing under the table in front of you, kuroo was tapping a pattern on his pants (akeelah and the bee style), and akaashi kept reciting ominous poems under his breath.

the only people in the room who looked even remotely fine were osamu, oikawa, sugawara, daichi, and, surprisingly, yachi. osamu was munching on some peanuts that he pulled from... somewhere, while oikawa and sugawara were holding their own conversation by the window. daichi seemed to be minding his own business but you could never really get a proper read on him anyway.

well, you supposed yachi was okay because she knew what to expect. i mean, you were meeting her boss.

after you and kenma had posted your “exposing the hype(r) house” youtube video, an email had come to the both of you, inviting you to visit the “big boss” along with the rest of the crew.

you weren’t necessarily afraid of losing your job; the hype(r) house was already being dissolved and you were (finally!!!) getting to move in with makki and mattsun until you found your own place. you were genuinely excited to put the drama and literal hell behind you and begin to live your life again but...

that didn’t mean meeting the Man™ wasn’t terrifying. it was like being called into the principal’s office, complete with the existential dread and occasional bouts of gassiness.

the door opening made you flinch as you quickly moved out of the way to let the newcomers enter. while they walked past you, you couldn’t contain the shock that overtook your face, your jaw practically on the floor.

the man was massive.

built like a brick wall, the man who you assumed to be the “big boss,” had a chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, and massive fucking pecs, his white button up barely closing around them.

beside him stood a tall, lanky man who was dressed suspiciously un-office-like with a red buzz cut and wild eyes that seemed to cut into you as he took his place at the table.

the final man seemed a bit awkward in comparison to the other two, but he was trying to seem unaffected, his purple bowlcut, despite being rather juvenile, fitting perfectly with his slim but toned build and bright complexion.

yachi hurried to greet them, giving all three a blinding smile before motioning for everyone else to take a seat. you ended up between the redhead and atsumu, the former being way too entertained by just your general being. his eyes rarely, if ever, left your face sending shivers down your spine. the remaining members all hesitantly took their seats and “big boss” began.

“it is an honor to meet you all. i am ushijima wakatoshi but you can call me ushijima or wakatoshi or ushiwaka or toshijima or just ushi or just jima or just waka or just toshi.” for a moment you thought he was joking but his face never moved, not even with the awkward silence that followed. redhead seemed rather amused by the whole display and bowl cut looked like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting.

it took an uncomfortably long moment for ushijima to proceed but he did as though nothing had happened. “these are my associates, satori—” redhead gave you a mischievous grin “—and tsutomu.”

“goshiki,” bowl cut interrupted, his voice wavering but his eyes gleaming with righteous indignation as though he was challenging wakatoshi to say something in defiance. instead, ushijima just gave him a nod and he visibly deflated back into his seat.

“goshiki is the social media manager for imla and satori is... satori,” big boss continued, not a hint of emotion on his face. the rest of the table perked up at his comment but atsumu was the only one who apparently had the balls to say anything.

“so yer the one who wrote that shitty among us tweet?” goshiki flushed horribly and sunk further into his plush leather chair, his body language showing he must’ve already gotten an earful about it. “thought it was a good idea,” he muttered while averting his eyes, completely ignoring satori’s cackle from across the wood.

ushijima put up a (massive???) hand to calm the both of them and it instantly worked. satori quieted down though he never lost the mirth in his expression and goshiki straightened up, a new wave of determination crossing his features.

you sat up as well, feeling the shift of energy in the room but you were startled to realize the boss had decided to focus his energy on you, his deep baritone voice calling your full name. “i am extremely sorry. we have failed you as a management team and as men. i have failed you.”

he sounded remarkably remorseful, his brown irises conveying heavy emotion and guilt. you had no idea what to say but he wasn’t done.

“although i do not have full control of the decisions that have been made here, i should have fought harder for what i believed was right and for that, i will forever be sorry.” you shifted uncomfortably under his weighty gaze, not that he noticed because his attention was swiftly taken by kenma at the opposite end of the room.

“who is in charge then? aren’t you like the ceo or whatever?” he asked. ushijima took a moment before nodding very slowly, his attention clearly on something in his head.

thankfully, satori rapidly took over the thread of conversation before the room could fall in tense silence yet again. “there’s a board of old, stuffy guys who basically kicked miracle boy wakatoshi to the curb and make all their decisions without him.”

...miracle boy? what did he have to do to earn that kind of nickname? you shook your head and tuned back in, just as the ceo spoke up once again.

“because i have not succeeded in doing my job properly, i have something to give to you,” ushijima deadpanned, sliding a thick envelope towards you. you carefully grabbed it and opened it up to reveal a thick, thick, wad of cash.

a gasp caught in your throat, words not coming to you as you thumbed through the money. there had to be at least $60k in there, your eyes filling with tears while you took in his generosity. “thank you,” you whispered, not trusting your voice to speak any louder.

wakatoshi nodded at you before addressing the rest of the table about something but you weren’t even listening.

you were so overwhelmed. for the longest time, you’d hated whoever management was for ignoring your pleas for help and trying to placate you with nice dresses and fancy dinners so meeting ushijima was quite the welcomed surprise.

despite everything that occurred, you could tell he felt horrible for letting things slide even though it was technically out of his hands and you couldn’t even articulate how much that meant to you.

the fact that he had gone out of his way to pay you extra, assumingly without the permission of the board, was heartwarming, confusing, shocking, and staggering all at once.

i mean, you could probably describe the past few months as exactly that. so much had happened, so much had changed, and while you could do without some of the life adjustments (the nightmares, spare trauma, and fear of public bathrooms to start), you felt blessed with new friends and the experiences that helped shape you to the person you were now.

the boys didn’t hate you anymore (well, not all of them at least and none were actively antagonizing you), you were seeing dr yamada again, you were getting to move in with your two best friends, you were just given enough money to expand your channel drastically, and you were finally feeling good. better than good.

meiko was behind you and though you missed the person she once was, you were so glad she was out of your life in a way where she couldn’t harm you or the boys any longer.

a grin spread across your face, your cheeks nearly burning from the intensity of it. things were definitely looking up.

a soft call of your name jolted you from your thoughts, your eyes landing on all the boys already standing as they got ready to leave the room. you could sense their worry and you shot them a genuine, reassuring smile before standing yourself.

you waved goodbye to the three men at the table, thanking ushijima profusely for his kindness but he shook you off, insisting that he had just been doing what he should’ve done a long time ago.

what a nice guy.

as you followed the boys out of the building, you took a moment to observe them together with fondness written all over your expression. they were laughing and joking around, the happiest and most carefree you had ever seen any of them. bokuto was begging yachi to get them ice cream, the rest of them piling on until she gave in with a playful roll of her eyes, giggling at the cheer that went up from the group.

atsumu seemed to notice you lagging behind, falling back to join you. “ya okay angel?” he asked, eyes focused on your feet as he slowed down to match your pace.

you didn’t answer for a while, instead focusing on the sun warming your cheeks, the cool breeze messing up your hair, and the sounds of pure joy swirling above you.

“i’m absolutely perfect.” you replied and you actually meant it. “race you to the van?” you sent him an impish grin before taking off, his yells of indignation making you laugh freely as the rest of the boys joined in, right on your heels.

this is it, you thought. no matter what, i’ll have this moment and i’ll be okay.

you’d been through hell and back and you’d survived. you’d been cursed at, choked out, hospitalized, and been beaten at mario kart more times than you could count and you had still made it through. you were resilient and strong and you’d never given up, despite how badly you’d wanted to, multiple times over.

things weren’t perfect, they rarely are, but you knew that if you could make it through all that, you could get through practically anything, especially with the boys by your side.

yeah. i’ll be just fine.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

bonus!!

“told you it sounded stupid as hell.”

“gah, stop talking about it!!”

“you sounded sooooo old ‘shiki, what are you, 92?”

“AAAAAAAAAA!!!”

“satori...”

“what’s up miracle boy?”

“...what is ‘sus’?”

℗ poker face

i’ll be just fine

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - AND THATS A WRAP FOLKS �� wowowow did the ending give me trouble but that’s ok SISJSK the endings will be coming shortly but they might not be daily just cs they may take more time, who knows lmfao i’ll let y’all know :3 AAAA ANYWAYS ILY I HOPE U GUYS LIKED KITH KITH don’t forget to feed me <3

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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ughsimpp · 2 years

Text

What ATEEZ is like on Valentine’s day ❤️

happy valentine’s day everyone!!! ❤️❤️❤️

masterlist

hongjoong

decided to go see him at the studio and gift him letters/notes of every thing you love about him and reminders when he feels down

when you open the door to his studio, you see his studio filled with balloons and flowers

you weren’t expecting him to surprise you like that so you felt maybe you could have gifted him something more than letters and notes

but he immediately said that your letters and notes were enough because it was from you and that you wrote your true feelings through them for him and him only

took you on a cute date

went to a museum and took pictures of you on his film camera

“thank you for today joongie.”

“anything for my baby.”

gives you tons of kisses and hugs you before letting you head inside back into your house

seonghwa

shows up to your front door with a bouquet of roses, chocolate and a teddy bear

takes you to the best all you can eat kbbq

late night walks around the city and just talk about how much he loves and appreciates you

reached the highest part of the trail where you can see the city lights from below

holding you hand and surprises you with another small gift

sees a promise ring with both of your initials written inside

“it’s a promise ring...i wanna make a promise that i will always love you and that soon your promise ring will become an engagement ring.”

“it’s so pretty! i love it thank you!!”

you immediately put it on and pull him in for a kiss

yunho

surprise you with sweet kisses in the morning

basically go out and do random stuff together

take out on a sweet little dinner date (noting too fancy)

having random dance battles as you both enjoy the walk back to the hotel room he reserved

as you reach the room, you see rose petals leading towards the bathroom and see the bath filled with roses, champagne (or wine) and candles lit.

the city night view from the window made it more romantic

“when did you prepare all of this when we were together the whole day?”

“i had someone come and help set up before getting here.”

giving that cheeky bright smile you love seeing

yeosang

surprises you with multiple plushies and roses at your front door

took you on a lunch date at a famous restaurant and stopping by your favorite coffee shop

you telling him how much you appreciate and love him. gets all shy from because you were too cute

take cute selfies with each other, posting them on twitter and instagram

going to a nearby convenience store, picking up some snack and having a movie night

“thank you today sangie.”

kisses him and smiles cutely at him

“your so cute. i love you.”

cuddle time!!~~~

san

you woke up sorta late but stayed in bed a little longer and received a good morning text from san

honestly didn’t know if he had plan for today but he came and surprised you with plushies and flowers

he took you to a nice restaurant for lunch and headed back to his place together

he made you wait for a bit before letting you in. entering his place, you saw rose petals on the floor, leading you to the bedroom

the room was filled with rose petals, balloons and candles that he probably lit up before letting you come inside

“sannie this is so cute!! thank you.”

“im glad you like it!”

the next morning you woke up to see your cute boyfriend gazing at you, he smile and kisses your cheek

“good morning baby~”

mingi

came by your house and gifting you some flowers

took you on a date at the arcade. winning and sometimes failing at several games

determined to win as much tickets as much so he can get you that huge stuffed animal

actually winning multiple prizes bc he was lucky

taking you to a nice restaurant and ordered their famous red velvet cake

late night walk through the night as he holds your hand. stopping at your door, giving you a tight hug

“today was fun mingi. thank you.”

“i’m happy you enjoyed today, but honestly it was fun because i got to spend it with you.”

he gave you the biggest smile and kisses your forehead

wooyoung

waking to the bed being empty, you quietly walk out of the room and smelled something cooking

you saw a vase filled with beautiful pink roses and sat down at the table as he saw you, giving you the biggest smile ever.

he set down the plate and you saw that it was a valentines theme breakfast. heart shaped pancakes and strawberries with a cup of coffee

he fed you as you both share a the plate of pancakes. small talk and laughter filled the room as he gazed at you with so much love

you both got ready as wooyoung said that he was gonna take you on a date

took you on a walk, which was nice bc the weather wasn’t too cold and you got to eat a lot of yummy street food

“was today okay? i feel like i should have planned more...”

“no today was perfect!! you made me such a sweet breakfast, got me flowers, ate some good street food and i think the best part of today is just spending with you.”

he stopped and turned towards you, smiling at you before giving you a sweet kiss and a tight hug

jongho

took you on a coffee date at a famous cafe and ordered some yummy pastries and shopped at your favorite stores

he was somewhat looked and seemed nervous since he kept checking his phone

driving you to the beach since it was the first place you both went on a date

you see a blanket set up filled with flowers, food and wine

looking back at him, he gave you a smile and pulled out a small gift. it was a necklace, he helped put it on you

his eyes are filled with love as he stares you enjoying the food and looking at the ocean and watches the sunset

“it’s so beautiful here. thank you jongho.”

he pulls you in for a hug and kisses your forehead

“i love you too. happy valentine’s day baby.”

#ateez #atiny #hongjoong #san #wooyoung #seonghwa #yunho #mingi #yeosang #jongho #ateez imagines #ateez masterlist #ateez on valentines day

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mishasminions · 3 years

Text

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15.

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they��ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

#THE LAST TIME I'LL CLOWN FOR THIS SHOW #SUPERNATURAL #DESTIEL #15x20 #15x19 #15x18 #UNTAGGED #INSIGHTFUL INSIGHTS

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prof-peach · 3 years

Note

{{ Could you tell us more about Plum? I saw their name in the moveset post, and that selection of moves really intrigued me! Why the selection of ghost/psychic moves? What do they do on the island? Are they as prickly as the move selection made them sound? Super intrigued!

Plum grew up in the city, with very well off parents, who pretty much gave her the world. While that had its benefits, it came with some down sides. She became very entitled, putting herself on a pedestal and demanding a lot of others. When she wanted to become a ranger, to be like the cool actresses in the movies, attempting daring rescues, fighting crime with their Pokemon. Her family bought her a dratini as a first Pokemon, and paid to enrol her in the ranger academy.

At the same time, peach had been recommended for the same course by local authorities that wanted to channel her destructive nature into something more useful. She was indifferent to doing it, so just went along with the whole thing.

Day one, the pair met their class, their teachers, and the campus. They immediately clashed. Plum was being snide and condescending to other students, peach was sitting behind her, called her some unpleasant things with her stupid dead-pan face, they broke into a fight pretty soon after.

This behaviour continued for four months before the teachers began to explore other options for the pair. Plum had proven incapable of handling her rogue dratini, it paid her no attention, and was often disruptive and chaotic. However she was very astute on the written tests, and technical knowledge of the law. Peach on the other had was suited to the practical learning, her and her vulpix were agile and effective at battles. She however only just scraped by with the written content, and slacked in classes, did just enough to pass with the least amount of effort put in. And so the crazy idea of the pair having to work together at all times until they get along was born. If they didn’t achieve this, together as a team, they would both be booted off the ranger program.

Plum was distraught, the ranger training was hard, it was nothing like the movies showed, she felt cheated out of what she wanted. Her new human partner was a nightmare, rude, blunt, disrespectful, irritating. Her Pokemon partner was unruly, why didn’t it like her? She bought it the nicest things, and fussed over it, and all it would do was run away or try to break all her expensive things. Nothing had turned out right for plum, it was not going to her plan.

The pair had three months to get it together, or they were out.

First month they argued constantly, nitpicking behaviours, being petty, generally getting nothing done well. Peach would bring their collective grade down to spite plum, and plum would slow down and spook Pokemon in the wild constantly, making it impossible to do anything tactical.

Second month peach got sick and tired of plum’s dratini being unruly, and began to secretly work with it to build some trust, whenever plum wasn’t watching. Because plum’s head was always in the books, she was completely unaware of this going on. Instead she studied and brought their written grade up, making sure to compensate for her lazy human partner.

Month three was when plum caught on that peach was working with her Pokemon. They were out tracking an injured aipom, trying to help. Plum’s dratini was out, and it bolted off in one direction, plum called it, it didn’t respond, peach did the same, and it turned immediately to come back, returning to plum’s side. Shocked, plum for once said nothing. They managed to successfully track and trap the injured Pokemon, and give it aid before release. The mark of the first actual successful mission.

Plum began to actually look at what peach was doing, for the first time, she took her head out of the books and secretly began to observe. Observation turned to practice. She started to use things peach was doing, to connect with her partner, and grow their bond.

By the end of their trial three months as a duo team, they had not stopped arguing, fuelled by their newly developed bitter rivalry. Instead of crushing each other down during drills and exams, they worked to out-do each other. A save of your partner was a win, because you could rub it in their face that you were the reason they weren’t hurt. It was enough for the teachers to allow them both to stay on the course.

This continued for a year and a half, they were very volatile together, but always got the job done. It was then that peach had a run in with some truly horrible poachers, and found herself in possession of a Teddiursa with a lot of trauma. There was only one thing to do, the ranger course was regimented and strict, and that didn’t suit her lifestyle. Peach left for the mountains to work with the new member of her team, ditching plum and all her connections without a word.

Plum was furious she would just leave, and vowed to do better than peach ever could have. She finished the ranger course, worked her way up the ladder, and achieved a high ranking admin position after a number of years. Her rich taste never changed, her family money never ran out. Perhaps she could have been brought back down to earth if she had to work with someone like peach for longer, her now faithful dratini had evolved in that time, but always reminded her of the early years, when things were exciting, and she had a strong goal to achieve bigger and better things than her ranger partner.

With new labs popping up, and new connections being made, plum was assigned liaison duty with Dotaku island, unaware that her once small, young rival, was now a big, strong professor. Plum’s dragonair was the tell. It sensed peach a mile off, for the first time in many years, bolting off towards her when it first touched down on the island. Plum saw peach, peach saw plum, snide comments followed, that escalated to insults, then to shouting. And finally the realisation that they had to work together again after all those years.

Now when the ranger bases local to the island catch something that needs specialist care, they send it through, and plum will be the one who handles their cases, and eventual release or rehoming. She does all the paperwork and organising, and the labs handle the actual care and rehabilitation.

Plum is still childish at times, usually quite snide when provoked, but has become strategic and observational about how she handles most things. After graduating top of her class, she’d had a complex about being the best, and prides herself on that. Her paperwork is flawless, her analytical skills top notch. She does however fall short on her people skills, folks do find her snooty at times. She’s taken full advantage of her family money, and bought a lot of gear and lessons to improve her skills over the years. She does lose herself when confronted with her old rival, and both tend to resort to playground tactics.

#long post #pokemon #prof.peach #ranger plum #I got caught up in this #plum now resides in the city and commutes to us when work needs her

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mirkwoodshewolf · 3 years

Text

Give her the life I never had; Harry Potter x child reader

*Author’s note*

So this came from my Wattpad requests and this is my first Harry potter (character not fandom) fic that I have written so I hope I didn’t mess this up for any hardcore Potterheads out there. So this takes place during the Battle at Hogwarts so expect some death and violence involved, other than that not really much anything really. I know it’s been awhile since my last update but I hope to pick up the pace and post up some more stuff and then HOPEFULLY open up requests here since I know you all have been waiting patiently for that.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@ixchel-9275

@psychosupernatural

@queen-paladin

_____________________________________________________________

It was finally over. All of it. Voldemort was now dead, the Death eaters defeated, and now the Elder wand was destroyed and lost to the sea. I looked towards the ruins of Hogwarts knowing that the stone and walls can be rebuilt, some of our friends would be able to heal their physical wounds, however some mental wounds won’t.

The Weasleys they’ll always have to live with Fred’s death for the rest of their life and grieve over the fact he’ll never come back, especially George. I had seen just how close their brotherly bond was, even when they had nothing they had each other, now George was gonna have to make do on his own, if he could.

And Hermione, while she doesn’t want us to know I had a feeling at what she had done to protect her muggle parents, thankfully with her and Ron seeming to repair their growing relationship, I know the Weasley’s will welcomingly be the family she needs now more than ever.

As I walked along the school grounds that’s when I came across (Y/n) getting looked over by one of the healers. When she looked towards me, she gently smiled and I smiled softly back at her thinking back on how I found her in all this chaos.

The battle was pure hell. Spells and curses being blasted, bodies dropping like flies, and rubble from the school walls crumbling down as repercussions from the spells firing out.

I had pushed back a Death Eater with an Stupefy spell which sent him flying all the way across the Great Hall. Another death eater soon came right at me but I quickly disposed of his wand first before giving him the paralyzing spell.

That’s when I heard it. The sound of a young girl crying. I quickly ran around the corridor and saw just down the stairs where I once found the Mirror of Erised, a young girl around maybe her 1-2nd year hovering over an older girl who looked almost like her but had longer hair. The young girl with shorter hair was weeping hysterically as she kept crying.

“Liz? Lizzie. Get up sis. Oh please get up.” From the pale skin and the soulless eyes that Lizzie had, I knew immediately she had been hit with the Killing curse. Cautiously I walked over to her and said.

“Are you alright?” the young girl looked up at me and she sniffled.

“Yes. But my sister she—she won’t wake up yet her eyes are open.” Knowing how I hadn’t learned of the 3 unforgiving curses until my 4th year at Hogwarts, she must’ve not known what exactly happened to her sister.

“What’s your name?”

“(Y/n). (Y/n) (l/n).”

“Well (Y/n), I…….I’m afraid to tell you this but……..your sister’s—she’s dead.”

“What? No but….if she were dead her eyes would be shut, the spell that hit her just made her collapse. Like the paralysis spell.”

“But it wasn’t a blue light that hit her, was it?” she looked back down at her sister and touched her cheek. “I’m afraid it was the most dangerous of all unforgiving curses. The Killing Curse.” She sniffled and hugged her sister’s corpse and choked out.

“But—she was…..she’s all I have left!” I looked around and two more Death eaters spotted us.

“Get behind me.” I urged (Y/n). Without question she got behind me and I held out my wand and as they charged toward us I called out, “Stupefy!” which sent one Death eater flying backwards but then I felt a shock to my hand which sent my wand flying towards the second Death eater’s hand. She sneered at me but then a voice exclaimed.

“Petrificus Totalus!” the female Death eater soon went stiff and fell to the ground. I turned and saw that it was (Y/n) who had casted the curse. I ran over and took my wand back from the witch and told her.

“Come on. We can’t stay here.” She took one last look at her sister. I knew she was hesitant to leave her but if she remained here, she’d be a sitting duck. “Your sister would want you safe (Y/n).” she turned to me and nodded before taking my hand and we raced out of the hallway.

Together the two of us worked together to fend off the oncoming Death Eaters, but one Death eater used an Inferno spell which burnt (Y/n)’s arm pretty bad. I shielded her from the next oncoming Inferno attack but the heat of the flames was almost too strong for me to hold back. That’s when a wave of water came and extinguished the flames and the Death Eater was flown backwards till his back hit a column and he collapsed dead.

We turned and there stood Professor McGonagall.

“Professor.”

“Harry, Ms. (L/n) are you both alright?”

“I am, (Y/n) however got burnt on her arm.” She walked up to us and she examined (Y/n)’s arm. She let out a painful hiss and the Professor said.

“I’ll take care of her from here Potter.”

“Thank you Professor.” Just as I was about to leave, I felt a hand grab the sleeve of my shirt and I saw that it was (Y/n).

“Thank you, Harry Potter.” I smiled down at her and nodded to her. She released my sleeve and I ran off to finally end this once and for all.

I walked over to her just as the healer cleared her off and moved onto the next student that needed medical treatment. I sat down beside her and asked her.

“How are you doing (Y/n)?”

“Shaky but—alive.” She softly scoffed. “But at what cost? My sister’s dead. She was the only family I had left. Now the ministry will probably put me in the Magic for Orphans facility, and with me almost being a teenager, no one will want me.”

I was probably the only one who knew what she must be going through. Even though we were orphaned in different circumstances, we still lost our loved ones to Voldemort. Now I must be crazy because I had no clear idea of what to do next but what I did know was that I couldn’t leave (Y/n) alone anymore.

“What if—” I started off by saying. “What if you…had someone to look after you?”

“But, but Harry I—I have no other living relatives. It’s always just been me and my sister since our parents died three years ago at the Quidditch world cup.”

“I know, but what if there was someone who wanted to help you out. Give you a home so that you wouldn’t have to suffer any potential abuse or neglect.”

“And just who would that person be?” I sighed softly before telling her.

“You’re looking at him.” Her eyes softly widened before she let out a soft gasp.

“But-but why? I mean no offense Harry but…..why would you want to help me out?”

“Let’s just say, from one orphan to another I know how lonely it can be. I had no clue about the magic world till I was just your age, and though I may not know how the Ministry of Magic deals with orphaned wizards, I do know a thing or two about living in terrible conditions. I lived practically my whole childhood in a tiny hall closet in my aunt and uncle’s place. And I wouldn’t want you to potentially go through that type of abuse in a stranger’s home.”

(Y/n) was silent for a moment, taking in what I just said. Weighing out her options before thinking about what answer she would give me.

“If not I’ll understand, I’ll check in whenever I can. But just know you won’t go through the rest of your life alone.” She looked up at me. Her eyes that were once filled with tears, but now filled with courage and strength as she said.

“If it won’t be too much trouble with you, I’ll go with you.” I softly smiled at her and told her taking notice of her robes.

“Spoken like a true Gryffindor.”

After that, the Weasley family, Hermione, myself and (Y/n) returned to the Weasley’s old home the Burrow and decided to rebuild it, a symbol as a fresh start to all our lives after this whole war.

We also had a memorial service for both Fred and (Y/n)’s older sister, each of us speaking for both Fred and (Y/n)’s sister before finally burying them and summoning a beautiful garden around them of their favorite flowers and plants.

As the sun was starting to set I saw (Y/n) still standing over her sister’s grave. I walked out to her and said.

“Mrs. Weasley’s prepared supper for all of us. She says you best come in before it’s all gone.” (Y/n) remained silent. I softly sighed and without another word I just stood there beside her. She may not want to talk, but she should at least know that someone was there when she was ready.

“I—never thought I’d have to face this world without her. Even through our fights, especially after mom and dad died, she was always there for me. She especially liked to tease me about my crush on Joey Matarazzo, saying we’d get married one day and have kids of our own. Now she won’t ever see me grow up, or achieve any dreams I’ll have for the future.”

“Let me tell you something my Godfather once told me. He told me that the ones that love us never really leave us. And we can always find them, in here.” I pointed to her heart.

She looked up at me and finally for the first time I saw a true, genuine smile. She came closer to me and wrapped an arm around my waist and rested her head against my ribs. I wrapped an arm around her and we stood there for a few more minutes before walking back inside the Burrow to join the Weasley’s for dinner.

*FF 19 years later.*

It was like any other year, but this time it was my second son’s first time doing this. I could already see from the look on his face that he looked anxious about his first year going as we came up to platform 9¾.

“Together.” I assured him as we took hold of his cart and we both ran straight through the brick wall and found ourselves right by the Hogwarts Express. As we walked closer to the train, we soon found Ron and Hermione with their kids, I spotted Draco and his wife and son bidding their goodbyes. He and I looked at each other, neither of us speaking a word but he gave me a point nod, and I nodded back to him.

“I was beginning to think I’d have to write my own brothers up for detention already.” A female voice soon spoke up and coming right towards us was (Y/n), all grown up and in her Professor robes.

Since the battle she continued on her Hogwarts education and excelled in both Magical creature knowledge and potions making. By the time she was in her 4th year at Hogwarts, Ginny and I had agreed to legally adopt her as our own child and she was beyond thrilled at the news. After graduating, she worked with me at the Ministry of Magic to focus on potion brewery before enrolling to be the next Potions Professor and this would be her second year teaching that class.

I’m told she’s kind but firm when it comes to students goofing off in that class, but she is always there to make sure no student messes up a potion and causes injuries either to themselves or others.

“Not in the slight.” I assured her.

“Good. I would hate to have to write them up to Headmaster McGonagall.” She told me. She looked down at her brothers and asked them, “So boys, you ready?”

“Oh yeah!” exclaimed James while Albus was more reserved and didn’t really say anything. Instead he walked away and sat down with his arms hugging his legs close to him. (Y/n) and I looked at each other and I told her to get James onto the train as well as herself while I talked to James. She nodded and guided James as well as his things over to the train while I walked over to Albus and knelt down beside him.

“Dad,” he spoke. “What if I am put in Slytherin?”

“Albus Severus Potter. You were named after two Headmasters of Hogwarts. And one of them was a Slytherin. And he was the bravest man I had ever known. But if it means to you, you can choose Gryffindor. The sorting hat does take that into consideration.”

“Really?” I nodded. “But how would you feel? If I was sorted into Slytherin?”

“Then Slytherin will have gained the best wizard they could ask for.” He smiled and embraced me and I hugged him back. “Now come on, off you go.” We then walked towards the train and Albus got himself situated inside with his brother and Ron and Hermione’s kids, and riding alongside them to keep an eye on them to Hogwarts was (Y/n).

As I stood by my friends and we watched the train leave the station, waving goodbye to our kids I couldn’t help but feel like we had done it. The war ended almost 2 decades ago and now our children can learn magic in a better world, a world without Death Eaters, a world without darkness and death, a world without a Dark Lord.

A peaceful time in our world.

#harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #harry potter x reader #harry potter x child reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter fluff #harry potter and the deathly hallows #ron weasley #Hermione Granger #ron x hermione #fred weasley rip #george weasley #harry potter x ginny weasley

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i-need-air · 3 years

Text

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

#bakugou katsuki x reader #noirewrites #hybrid!bakugou #hybrid!au #bakugou x reader #bakugou headcanons #bnha x reader

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

Note

Hi!

I've been reading some of your posts and I am a big fan🥰

I was wondering if its okay, maybe you could do a Loki x reader where they were best friends and denied each others feelings all the time and when Loki was brought to the TVA, he found reader there and lots of angst and fluff🥰💞😁

Have a great day😁😁💞💞🥰🥰

Nothing Gold

Relationship: Loki x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: thank you so much for enjoying me work I am so glad that makes me so happy! thank you so much for the request. I really liked this idea and I think it came out okay - sorry the ending it a bit abrupt! thank you again :)

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Loki had to do a full-on, dramatic as hell, double-take while walking through the TVA library. He had come down to look for a variant file but had apparently ended up finding something else. More specifically — someone else.

You. You. You.

You, his best friend. You, the sweet girl he had a never-ending crush on. You, the one who had just gone missing one day.

Loki could never forget. It was like something wouldn’t let him.

He had invited you around the palace for breakfast before you left his chambers for the night. You two had been up late reading together. You frequently popped over, usually claiming to stay for a few hours, just enough for Loki to read to you some verses of a poetry book, but those hours got longer and longer each time.

Next thing you two knew, it was nearly morning and you needed at least a few hours of sleep in your own bed. He had walked you out, asking you to come back for breakfast in a few hours. You happily agreed, giving him a quick hug before parting. Loki didn’t want to let go. He remembered that detail very well. He wanted to pull you back in his chambers, just hold you for hours. Days. Months. Forever. But he didn’t. He let you go, watching as you made your way back to your modest home. He never realized that would be the last time he saw you.

Well, actually, it technically wasn’t. Because he was staring at you right now. You were at a table near the back of the library, head buried in some files but he could still recognize you. Could always point out that lovely, long hair and those soft, gentle hands. You were always a stark contrast against him.

Loki just watched you for a few moments, completely and utterly confused by the situation. The shock was wearing off and now question after question filled his brain. How did you end up here? What had you done? Were you okay? A million thoughts came over him but his legs had their own agenda. The next thing he knew, he was approaching your table. He almost didn’t know how he got there.

He stood opposite of your sitting form. You weren’t noticing him, apparently very invested in the file you were studying. Loki had to admit, that was quite like you. You were always one to get lost in the words, way deeper than he did.

Eventually, Loki cleared his throat, hoping that’d do something. Slowly, you lifted your head, brows furrowed in confusion as you looked at him from head to toe. You didn’t recognize him, Loki could see it in your eyes. He was just a variant turned agent to you. Something in him felt like it was stabbing his heart over and over again.

"Can I help you with something?" You hesitantly asked but your voice was still so sweet and kind, just as Loki remembered. You were far more patient and soft-spoken than he was.

He said your name like it was the greatest plead but you didn’t react. Loki didn’t know what to do then, realizing you were you but you also…weren’t. His face fell.

You were getting uncomfortable. "I-I’m sorry, I’m not sure I know who that is—,"

"You don’t?" Loki couldn’t help the hurtful gasp he let out.

"Sir, I’m sorry…" Your eyes began searching around frantically. Something was going on. You were getting scared, way past uncomfortable. You wouldn’t look at him anymore.

Loki said your name again, much forceful than the last. You jumped. You weren’t directly responding but Loki could see something in your eyes. He said your name again. Then again. Like it was the only thing he knew. Your eyes met one another intensely, hypnotically.

After maybe the sixth time, you snapped. You jumped out of your seat, breathing heavily, scared, surprised. It had all happened too fast Loki was also taken back. You two were more than just staring at each other. Your wide eyes were taking him in.

"Loki?"

He felt so relieved to hear his name just float off your lips. It was as sweet as he remembered. Like a little lullaby. The stabbing in him stopped.

Loki nodded. "It’s me."

"What…" You looked around as if you had no idea where you were. And maybe you didn’t but Loki hadn’t expected your name to just snap you out of it. This opened a lot of questions for him but he didn’t have time. He raised his hand, cutting off your words.

Loki nodded towards one of the bookshelf aisles further away from everyone. You nodded in understanding, following him down the rows.

Once you were a safe distance away, Loki wasted no time collecting you in his arms, his head buried in your shoulder. You were surprised for a moment at the gesture but then you fell into it naturally, like you had just hugged him yesterday. And really that was how it had felt. But Loki knew better. You had been gone for so long…

"Loki," you mumbled his name, your head pressed into his chest. "What is going on?"

Loki stilled. "Why don’t you tell me what you know."

You scoffed, breaking off the hug. You were a sweet one but Loki was no stranger to your tiny temper. You put distance between you two and Loki allowed it despite how much it hurt.

"What I know?" You repeated, folding your arms. "What I know is that I’m standing in a library with you." You looked around at the space, noting an actual lack of real books. "What kind of library is this anyway? How did I—,"

"Do you remember anything before you got here?"

Your gaze dropped as you studied your shoes. They were some nice black flats but Loki knew that wasn’t your style. You were not the business causal type, usually pleased with the feeling of Asgardian silk gowns.

Something was coming to you as you let out a soft gasp. "I was walking home. We-We had just finished a poem written by that Midgardian… Gosh, what was his name? Winter or something—,"

"Frost," Loki mumbled. "His last name was Frost and you enjoyed his poem about how nothing gold can stay. You found it relatable. I’ll admit, you may have been onto something."

A light had gone on within you. "You thought it was pretentious." Your gaze met Loki’s once more. "I called you a fool and laughed. Then we saw daylight breaking and… and I had to go home. I missed my bed. You wanted breakfast in a few hours. I agreed to come back."

Loki nodded, encouragingly, but your words had fallen off. "What happened next?"

You shook your head, that blank expression washed over you again. "I don’t know."

Loki let out a sigh and leaned back on the shelf. "Do you remember anything after that?"

You looked back down at your outfit. At least the pencil skirt was nice. "Yes," you admitted. "I was hired here. I report on variants to protect the sacred timeline." It sounded to Loki like you were reading a script. What the hell was going on here?

"But you don’t know how you got from Asgard to…here?"

You sighed, a bit annoyed. "How did you get here?"

The snippy temper was back. You were still you. Loki could’ve kissed you, a feeling that had come over him before but was suddenly more intense than ever. He would, he promised himself. He couldn’t leave you again without doing so.

"I had a bit of an…incident."

"Really? You? I never would’ve guessed," you said, the sarcasm on your words dripped heavily. Loki gave quite the dramatic eye roll. You let out a little giggle.

"Yes, well, never mind what got me here, I am here," he said, motioning towards nothing. "And I am assisting with the hunt of a variant."

"You’re helping them?"

Loki scoffed. "Don’t act so surprised." A beat. "I didn’t have much of a choice."

You bit your lip, trying to hold back a smile but failed miserably. Loki had missed this. If he focused really hard, it almost felt like you two were back in Asgard, lounging around, talking about nothing. Teasing one another. His heart was aching.

"What do you know about the variant?" You eventually asked.

Loki glanced away. "It’s me."

"You?"

He shrugged. "Well, a version of me. Another variant."

You slowly crossed the aisle, coming to stand right next to Loki, your shoulders pressed against one another. Loki’s breath hitched just a bit. He would never get used to this.

You asked, "Well, what have ‘you’ done?"

Loki resorted back to his witty humor. "Nothing good as you could assume."

"This mischief of two Lokis is unthinkable."

Loki let out a laugh which you followed suit with. You two were laughing over nothing in this random library in wherever this place was. He could barely understand it and you were absolutely clueless. But the moment of laughter was good, was familiar. Too bad it couldn’t last.

"I’ve missed you," Loki admitted after the laughter had faded out unceremoniously. You looked a bit surprised at the confession.

"Truly?"

He nodded.

You blushed and looked down. "I’d say I missed you too but I don’t feel like we’ve been apart. How long has it been?"

When Loki wasn’t giving an answer, you forced yourself to turn back to him. He was staring at you quite intensely. You shivered under the gaze. It was an expression you hadn’t seen before, he hadn’t allowed you to see. It was one full of love and interest and adornment.

"Too long," was all he said before his lips were on yours. Loki finally took what he had been craving and it was happening in the TVA library. The fucking TVA. Loki’s head was still spinning with worries about this whole thing but, slowly, he got lost in you. In your lips and softness. Your hands grasped his shirt as you deepened the kiss — you. You wanted more from him. And he was happy to give.

His hands caressed your sides lovingly, feeling and holding you in the way he had always dreamed. It was better than anything he could’ve conjured. It felt right and real. Good and… Too good. Too powerful.

An alarm was going off somewhere now. You hadn’t seemed to notice it, still captivated in the kiss, but Loki was aware. He forced you two apart, reluctantly. You looked at him, ready to protest, but before you could ask anything, Loki was placing a hand over your mouth.

Footsteps were approaching. They were coming towards your aisle. Whatever had happened here wasn’t good, something had gone haywire. Had he broken the timeline? Was that even possible here? Loki didn’t know but what he did know was there was an army on the hunt for them. Without thinking twice, he grabbed your hand, looking for an escape route.

"Loki," you finally were able to speak, keeping your voice hushed as you two maneuvered the maze of shelves, "what did we do?"

"We love each other."

"Love?"

Loki stopped despite there being no time to stop. "Am I wrong?"

You didn’t answer. That was all he needed. Now to only get the hell out of here. Loki couldn’t tell if his encounter with the TVA had been a blessing or a cure as he held you close to him, refusing to lose you again to whatever trap this place planned to lay.

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theladyofdeath · 3 years

Text

Life As We Know It {Chapter 12}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby's blogs! >> @snelbz

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

* In case you missed the announcement - we will now be posting chapters 3 days a week! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. We hope you continue to enjoy the story!

** Trigger warning: Miscarriage.

This chapter is legit a roller coaster, ngl. Enjoy. ;)

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Nesta stood in the living room of Elain’s house with Nyx on her hip, feeling guilty for dropping Nyx off for the night even though Elain was the one to offer.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Gives these little cousins some bonding time.” She reached out and took Nyx’s chubby little hand. “Besides, you and Cassian both need time to recoup.”

She wasn’t about to deny that. It had been a week since her not-date with Balthazar, a week since she and Cassian had uttered more than passing comments on how Nyx had acted throughout the day to each other.

Every time she looked at him, she found him already watching her and the fact got under her skin.

It became an unspoken thing that whenever she cooked dinner, she would make an extra helping and put it in the fridge for him. Not because she felt like she needed to, but because it made her feel better about their awkward arrangement. The longer time went on, the more she realized that as much as she’d been acting like taking care of Nyx together was a death sentence to her social life, he was going through the same thing.

And when she got home, she planned on making dinner for the two of them to share together. A sort of white flag of truce between them.

It was the least she could do. “Call me the second something happens-.”

“We’ll be fine,” Elain said, taking Nyx from Nesta and kissing her sister’s cheek. “Now, go. Relax. Take a bubble bath with some wine or something. Read one of those filthy books you used to hide in your closet.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed.

Elain’s smile widened.

After a tough goodbye, Nesta was heading toward her car and driving back home, making a quick stop at the grocery store just around the corner.

She quickly got all of her fixins, prepared to make one of her favorites - salmon, rice, and green beans. A glance at the calendar that morning told her he would probably be home around five, which gave her just under two hours to make dinner. Easily doable, she’d made three-course meals in less time, for much harsher customers.

Yet she couldn’t figure out why her stomach was in knots.

When Cassian came home, he opened the front door and froze. The quiet in the house unnerved him. Usually, there was some random white noise to fill the house, whether that was the television or one of Nyx’s inane toys that distracted him so well. But as he walked through the house, the TV wasn’t on and he couldn’t hear much of anything.

Until he heard a throat clear from the kitchen.

Instantly, Cassian was on alert, not liking the sound at all, recognizing who it had belonged to, but silently, he made his way into the kitchen.

Nesta was sitting at the table, a plate of food in front of her, with an identical one at the spot he typically sat in.

“What’s…going on?” He asked, slowly taking another few steps into the kitchen.

Nesta stood and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before taking it back over to where he hovered between the table and the doorway. She held the cold bottle out to him. “This is a truce.”

“A tru-?” He took it, but shook his head, not quite understanding her. “Where’s Nyx?”

“He is having a sleepover with Seph, Elain and Azriel. Elain wanted us to have a night off,” she said, sitting back down at her seat. “So I made us dinner.”

“You made us dinner?” he repeated, staring at the plates. “For the two of us to have? Together? At the same table?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, unless you don’t want it.”

Cassian cleared his throat as he pulled the chair out across from her and popped open his beer. “I won’t turn down free food. Especially when it’s made by an expert.”

Nesta said nothing more as she cut into her salmon. “An expert?”

“You get paid for cooking,” Cassian said, picking up his fork and collecting a pile of green beans. “That makes you an expert. A professional.”

“This is a lot of compliments,” she said, watching him carefully as he ate.

“Maybe I’m jumping on board with this whole truce thing,” he said, mouth full of food.

Nesta wanted to chastise him about his manners, but bit her tongue. “You weren’t on board with it to begin with?”

He chewed slowly and then set his fork down. “Neither of us have…handled this very well,” he admitted, taking a drink from his beer. “And I’m willing to take a portion of the blame, but not all of it.”

Nesta weighed his words carefully. They were blunt, but not untrue. Sure, he’d acted like an ass many times, but she had only responded in kind. She knew she could be a bitch, and she knew she did it well. Sometimes too well.

“For this to be an official truce,” she began, holding her wine glass in her hand, swirling it once, twice, “there has to be terms we both agree on.” His eyebrows raised, but she pressed on before he could speak. “Mine are that we have to communicate. When you get frustrated or pissed at me, you can’t just bottle everything up until it all explodes. And when I get overwhelmed, I promise not to snap at you or act like such a…”

“A bitch?” He provided, when she stumbled over her words, smiling around the beer bottle pressed to his lips.

She wasn’t able to stop the smile growing on her own face, as she said, “Thank you, asshole. But yes. Those are my terms.”

He took a drink and nodded. “Okay. I think I can handle those.”

“And what are your terms?” She asked, cutting into the flaky fish for another bite.

He was quiet for a moment, debating. Nesta took a sip from her wine glass while she waited, watching as thought after thought passed across his face.

“I want to get to know you,” he said, finally. “I want to know who you are and I want you to know me.”

Nesta cocked her head to the side. It was a simple request, but Nesta wasn’t exactly good at allowing people to get to know rher. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

“A simple conversation will do,” he said, shrugging. “Over salmon and alcohol. Mostly alcohol.” He reached across the small table and picked up her wine bottle, filling up her wine glass to the brim.

“Getting me drunk so that I open up?” Nesta asked, sipping from that wine glass.

Cassian chuckled. “I would never.”

She watched her for a second, before taking another larger drink and setting it down. “Fine. Then it’s a truce.” He smirked, glancing over the table between them and then leaned over to look on the counter. “What?”

“I’m just looking for an official notice.” His smirk grew into an all out grin. “Something to sign. I figured you’d called up Tarquin and had some official documents written up.”

“You think you’re so funny.” She rolled her eyes and he chuckled, reaching an open hand across the table.

“Truce,” he said, taking her hand in his. They shook once, and Cassian was struck by how much smaller her hand was than his, yet by how firm her grip was. It was an impressive, professional handshake.

“So what do you want to know?” She asked, scooping some rice onto her fork and getting a bite of fish to go along with it.

His eyes narrowed as he thought about it and she began to wonder whether they should have laid down some boundaries. But he asked, “You went to the University of Velaris, right? What did you study there?”

Nesta blinked in surprise, not having expected the question. “Business and marketing.”

Chewing slowly, Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Nothing culinary?”

She shook her head. “No, I liked cooking, but I never thought it would become my career. I majored in business and marketing, with a minor in communications.”

“That sounds…” He fought for the words for a second. “Boring.”

Taking a drink of her wine, Nesta chuckled. “Oh, it was,” she admitted. “The longest four years of my life, but I’ve got the pretty, little diploma with my name written on it to show for them.”

“And how did you learn about food? How to cook?”

She shrugged. “I taught myself. I graduated college and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I got a data entry job at a marketing firm and spent my free time in the kitchen, trying and testing and tasting.” She paused, and her eyes fell to her plate. “Before my dad died, he listened to my idea about starting a small restaurant, with a few of my favorite recipes on the menu. He left me the money to do it in his will.”

“And now?” he pressed, although his voice held a certain gentleness. “Are you successful and thriving?”

Nesta snorted. “I make enough to live and pay the few of servers I have. If that’s successful, then I suppose.”

Cassian nodded in appreciation. “I’d say it is. What about the future? Bigger restaurant? Multiple restaurants?”

“Someday,” Nesta said, with a longing in her voice. “And what about you? And your guitars? Surely you don’t want to be a bartender forever.”

Cassian shrugged. “I don’t mind the bartending. Good tips and I meet a lot of interesting people.”

“But?” Nesta asked.

“But,” Cassian repeated, huffing a laugh. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t exactly say that managing a bar is my passion.”

“So, guitars then?” Nesta asked, brow raised. “You’re really talented. Your guitars are beautiful.”

Cassian’s eyes shot to hers, wide as he slowly set down his fork. “Holy shit, did you just compliment me?”

Nesta’s lips pursed as she kicked his shin under the table.

“I’ve always been good with my hands. Not like that,” he said, pointing at her when he saw the smirk growing. “I mean, creating things, playing instruments, even something as mundane as making drinks. If it’s something I can do with my hands, I typically love it and nine times out of ten, I’m good at it.” There was none of the cockiness she’d come to know in his voice. Just pure explanation, and a bit of devotion. “I’ve tried my hand at making furniture and little knickknacks, but there’s nothing that compares to building an instrument from scratch.”

“And you do it all? Yourself?” She asked, taking another bite.

He nodded. “I start with a few rough pieces of wood. Sand it, stain it, and boom, brand new guitar.”

Snorting, she lifted her wine glass to her lips. “I think you may have missed a few steps in there.”

“Well, I didn’t want to bore you,” he chuckled.

“How long have you been playing guitar?” Nesta asked, finishing off the last of her food.

Cassian took a minute to think about it, then shrugged, finishing off his beer. “As long as I can remember. I grew up with my mom in Illyria. They live simply up there. Music is…a way of life. It grew on me quickly. Mom bought me my first guitar that a friend of hers had made before I could even walk.”

Nesta chuckled, quietly. “Just like you did for Nyx.”

Cassian nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. Another drink?” he asked, nodding toward her emptied glass.

“Sure,” she said. “But, wine is gone. I think there’s some tequila in the cabinet.”

Cassian lifted a brow as he rose. “Tequila?”

Nesta grinned as he went to the cabinet. “Make me a drink, bartender?”

Cassian laughed as he grabbed the glass bottle from the cabinet. “I can. What’ll it be? Tequila sunrise? Margarita? Pretty sure we have some lime juice, somewhere.”

“I’m not picky,” Nesta promised.

She heard him laugh. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that, Archeron.”

“Only where it counts,” she replied, smiling at him. She picked up their empty plates and rinsed them off, loading them into the dishwasher. Turning, she found him setting a shot glass with salt on the rim down on the counter. She chuckled. “That’s not what I asked for.”

“First of all, you technically didn’t ask for anything in particular,” he said, pointing at her as he crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Secondly, this is the most classic drink I can make you with tequila. It’s the oldest recipe in the books.”

She outright laughed. “That’s cause it’s just straight tequila.”

“Exactly,” he grinned and damn it, if her heart didn’t skip a beat. “I lied, no lime juice.”

“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms. “But if I’m doing sloppy shots, you’re joining me.”

“Oh, I never say no to shots,” he said, grabbing another from the cabinet.

He filled them up, and slid one to Nesta, who took the glass in her hand and held it up.

Cassian clinked his against hers, and they tossed them back.

Nesta’s face didn’t change a bit, and Cassian met her steady eyes. “Impressive.”

“Not my first tequila shot, Nazari,” she said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “What else do you want to ask me?”

He leaned down on the countertop, letting his arms lay flat. “Hmm.” He let his fingers drum quietly. “What did you want to be when you grew up? Or was it always a chef?”

She scrunched up her nose. “I was convinced I was going to be a doctor, I wanted to help people. But then I found out how many years of school was required to be a doctor. So I decided I wanted to be a nurse.”

Cassian carefully poured a couple more shots. “And what happened to that dream?”

“I found out that the sight of blood makes me queasy. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes I pass out.”

He laughed. “That seems like enough to throw off a career plan.”

“Yep,” she admitted, picking her wine glass up.

Cassian filled up the shot glasses, once more, and slid hers back to her. She set down her wine glass and snorted as she tossed it back.

“You know what we should do?” Nesta asked, and Cassian lifted a brow in question. “Go for a swim. We’ve been here over a month and have yet to use the pool that I’ve been cleaning, daily.”

Cassian took his shot before watching her, closely. “Last one in has to share their deepest, darkest secret.”

Nesta scoffed. “What are we, children?”

Cassian grinned as he pushed himself back from the counter. “Scared of a little competition? Afraid to lose?”

They stared at each other in silence for a minute before Nesta jumped off the counter, and ran up the stairs to throw on her swimsuit.

Cassian and his heavy footsteps were close behind.

It took her a few minutes to remember where her swimsuits had been packed, and from the slamming of drawers down the hall, it seemed Cassian was in a similar predicament. She finally found a two piece stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer, not exactly what she had been looking for, and hesitated before stripping down and pulling the bottoms on. Nesta was out her bedroom door before she even had the top fully tied, pulling it into a hastily tied bow behind her back. Her feet carried her as she flew down the stairs, but she froze when she opened the sliding glass door and found him already in the water.

He grinned from where he had his muscular arms resting on the side of the pool, and his hair was soaked, pushed back off of his face. With the wide smile on his face, he looked so much younger, almost boyish.

With a sigh, Nesta turned and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a couple beers in each hand and made her way back onto the lit up patio.

“I win,” he said, smirking up at her.

The tongue she stuck out at him wasn’t her most quick witted response, but she was trying not to let her eyes drift beneath the water. When she suggested the pool, she hadn’t been thinking of how much skin would be on display, for either of them.

“That’s because you only had one piece to put on,” Nesta said, sitting near him by the edge and handing him a drink.

“Hey, if you only wanted to put on one of those pieces, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he protested, and Nesta had to hide the way his suggestive tone, those words, made her blush.

He didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he popped open his beer and took a long, slow drink.

“So how about that secret?” He asked, voice lowering.

“Hmmm,” she crooned, tapping her chin. “Which to share when I have so many to choose from?”

Cassian chuckled. “You would have an endless string of secrets. Come on, what skeletons are in your closet? Something you’ve never told anyone else.”

Nesta had a lot of those, too. She wasn’t exactly the “open” type.

There was one true secret she kept though. One that no one else had known, not even Feyre or Elain. Just her and…

She hesitated and he looked up at her, caught the look on her face. “What?”

Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t want to kill the mood.”

The hand holding the bottle was right next to her thigh, and he let his pinky skim over her skin. “That kind of secret, huh?”

She gnawed into her lip, nodding.

“I’ll tell you mine, if it helps,” Cassian said, looking up into her face.

She slipped into the pool, thankful the water was warm, and shook her head. “That wasn’t our agreement.”

He stayed quiet, letting her process her own thoughts.

Sinking beneath the water, Nesta re-emerged, slicking her hair back. After a steadying breath, she said, “I’m sure you remember Tomas, my ex who interrupted our date?”

The mention of their date surprised Cassian, after so many weeks of them dancing around it. He nodded.

“We were together for a long time, you know? All through college.” She wasn’t looking at him, wouldn’t meet his eye. “I got pregnant just after our senior year. I had never wanted kids, you know? Wasn't the family type, at all. Never saw myself having a family. Anyway,” she continued, shaking her head. “It didn’t matter. I miscarried.”

Cassian continued to look at her, continued to watch as she stared blankly ahead.

“I got excited about it, too, which is ridiculous,” she went on. “For a moment, for those few weeks that I thought Tomas and I would be starting a family… I actually got excited.”

“How far along were you?” He asked, gently.

She answered immediately, with no hesitation. “Thirteen weeks. It was like one day I was pregnant, carrying our child and the next… The baby was gone.” She was quiet for a moment. “I woke up one morning and there was blood, so much blood. Tom was already at work, so I drove myself to the hospital, but there was nothing they could do.”

Cassian recognized the slow blinking, knew she was reliving those slow, sad moments again.

“I was dying inside, trying to come to terms with the fact that our baby was gone, and Tomas got home and-.” She took a deep breath and looked over at him. “He asked what I was making for dinner. He didn’t even acknowledge that our child was gone and… l guess that’s when I decided to do the same. To pretend nothing happened. We didn’t really talk much about it. We never told our families, I never told Feyre or Elain. Our father died about a month later and it all seemed so insignificant at that point. But Tom and I never recovered, our relationship at least. We broke up a few months later and…” Nesta shrugged. “Life kept going. I decided to open my restaurant and never looked back.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassian said, quietly.

She finally looked at him and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t make it any less painful of a memory,” he countered.

She just nodded. “It’s how it was supposed to be though, right? Wasn't meant to be.”

Cassian took another drink as he nodded, slowly.

“Anyway,” she began, clearing her throat before dunking herself back down under the water.

“Would you like my secret?” He asked, when she turned and rested her arms on the edge of the pool.

She shrugged. “If you feel so inclined. You didn’t lose the bet.”

He leaned back, letting his arms drape across the edge of the pool as well. “When I was eighteen, I broke my back. I decided to take a year off before I started school, and was working construction over the summer to save money. I wanted to travel for a while. But then I took a bad fall off a roof. I spent two weeks in the hospital and then was stuck in my bed for another ten. And Rhys and Az stayed by my side the whole time. They put off their last hoorah vacations before they went off to college to stay with me.”

Nesta’s eyes drifted to Cassian, drops falling from her lashes. “Doesn’t seem like a secret if people know about it.”

“You didn’t know,” he shot back.

Nesta smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Fair. That sounds awful.”

“It was,” he agreed. “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I don’t like to stay still for very long.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Nesta said, a little spark returning to her eye. “It was torture,” he followed, finishing off his drink. “Not being able to move. I played so many damn board games that I never want to look at one ever again.”

“Even if Nyx asks?” Nesta inquired.

Cassian gave her a lopsided grin. “Well, he’s the exception.” Nesta laughed, and Cassian shook his head. “I’d do anything for that kid. I think Rhys knew that, when he named me godfather.”

She understood that, related to it completely. Especially considering they had been named godparents together, regardless of their mutual distaste for the other. Their love for Nyx, for Rhys and Feyre, had been evident to everyone.

“I miss him,” she admitted, resting her cheek on the concrete. “I know it’s only one night, and I’m beyond appreciative, but… It’s weird not having him right inside.”

He nodded. “I get it. I do, too. I know Az and Elain can take care of him, and I’m sure he had a blast with Seph before they went to bed, but it hasn’t stopped me worrying about him.”

Nesta nodded, stretching her back. She took a drink from her beer. “Did you ever want kids of your own?”

He blew out a harsh breath and drained his own bottle before answering. “I never really considered it much, when I was younger. After my back healed, I was so focused on getting back to life that relationships and dating weren’t high on my priority list-.”

“But fucking was?” Nesta asked, smirking.

He rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly with a shoulder. “Maybe I was interested in sex more than relationships, I’ll admit. But before I knew it, my early twenties had come and gone. Everyone I knew was getting married and had babies on the way and… I was still the one living the bachelor life and decided to just run with it.”

“I get that,” Nesta agreed. “After…everything that happened with Tomas, I never wanted that again. My date with you and my date with Balthazar are the only two proper dates I’ve been on since college.”

Cassian lifted a brow. “And have you been on any improper dates?”

Nesta didn’t answer. Instead, her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she finished off her beer.

Cassian’s grin widened. “I never knew you were such a freak, Archeron.”

“Oh, fuck off,” she muttered, which just made him laugh harder.

“I must admit, it’s nice to hear you talking about our infamous date so often tonight,” Cassian said, pulling himself out of the pool.

Nesta couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles flexed, how the drops of water streamed down his back, between his shoulders, down to his waistline and the swim trunks, which rode low on his hips. She cleared her throat. “I didn’t say anything nice about that date, did I?”

“Absolutely not, but is there really anything nice to say?” he asked, sliding the screen door open. “I mean, you were an absolute nightmare.”

She gawked after him as he went inside, and once he came back with a small pyramid of beer cans, Nesta said, “I was a nightmare? You were a complete disaster!”

He scoffed, setting the cans down and cannon balling back into the pool. Even though she was already in the water, Nesta couldn’t help the squeal that left her. Cassian was grinning when he came up for air. “I forgot my wallet. I fully intended to pay you back, both monetarily and with the best sex you’d ever had in your life, but you decided to get huffy, stomp back to your front door and slam it in my face.”

“Oh, please,” Nesta said, reaching for a can and popping it’s top. Foam erupted from the opening and she put her mouth to it before it could drip into the pool. “You were over twenty minutes late, you wore work boots and a leather jacket to the nicest restaurant in Velaris, and we ran into your fuck buddy.” She drank deeply from the can, emptying it in one go. “As for the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, I’ve become very accustomed to and am just fine with my own hand, so you’re going to have to try pretty hard to do better than I myself can.”

She wiggled her fingers in his face and before she could register what was happening, his hand was wrapped around her own. As if he didn’t already know that. Cassian had caught her getting herself off in the bathtub, a memory that was seared into both of their heads. He tugged her closer and the empty can fell from her hands, floating on top of the water.

“I was talking about the past, sweetheart, but you seem to be talking about the present,” he breathed as her chest brushed against his own. “Who says my offer still stands all these years later?”

“You’d be a fool not to make that offer,” she breathed, and she knew the scent of beer was all he was breathing in.

“And would you accept it if I were?” he asked, one hand still wrapped around hers, the other snaking its way around her waist. “Still offering?”

Nesta’s breath hitched as their mouths grew so close, too close, close enough to reach out and taste his lips with a brush of her tongue.

It was tempting.

It would be stupid. Alcohol fogging her brain or not, Nesta knew it would be stupid.

But it was tempting, and in that moment, there were very few things Nesta could think about other than his hands against her skin, his lips a breadth width away from her own, and his cock she could very prominently feel twitching against her thigh.

Nesta’s lips brushed softly against his as she said, “Try and find out.”

#nessian #snacmc #snacmc lawki #modern au #lawki #fanfic #fanfiction #sjm #acotar #acosf

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