#i cheered when she said she was becoming happier with being alone

[coachbeards]

my most controversial opinion about rebecca’s character is that they focused much more on her finding romance than actually healing from her trauma and abuse

#i cheered when she said she was becoming happier with being alone #only for them to immediately do the psychic arc #i think starting s2 w her having a boyfriend and being on dating apps was such a stark shift from s1 #there was no real discussion about her wanting romance in s1? it was about her healing !! #she had one night stand and that’s it! #but s2 ans s3 became so focused on romance for her. #while also saying she doesn’t need therapy like please god #I don’t mind her having romance!!! but they really centered romance so heavily in her arc #like I think s2 should’ve been the season where she works herself up to dating someone again #rather than already dating someone by ep1 #let her reconnect with sassy and her mom and Nora (yes she did in like three eps but those relationships needed more focus)

[fanttasttica]

Your love healed me

Rhysand x reader

You were friends with Rhysand and his Inner circle for nearly a hundred years. He trusted you with paperwork, he discussed ideas with you that he wasn't sure if they were good or bad.. You took your work very seriously and put it before everything else, even before your own safety. When Amartantha invites Rhysand and other High lords to her court, you manage to convince Rhysand to take you with him. That night, you end up being imprisoned for nearly fifty years and after you were freed.. The consequences of all this fell on you.  

warnings: mentions of sexual abuse, depression

words: 2599

“We don't know what exactly, but Amarantha is planning something big. She invited all the High lords to her court for some celebration and Rhys is going in hope that he will find out something..” You still shook your head, this wasn't surprising at all. “This is ridiculous. It's very dangerous. What if something happened and he would end up all alone? What is he thinking?” You couldn't believe what you were hearing. She sighed and nodded, also not believing what her cousin was thinking.. “Yeah.. he will leave tomorrow morning and return later at night. Hopefully he will find something then..” She came closer and hugged you. “I will go now, had to speak with one of the Priestess about something. Take care..” You tried giving her a small smile, your thoughts already elsewhere, before she disappeared. If only you knew that this was the last time you would see her for almost fifty years.. You would probably never stop hugging her. 

You didn't know how, but you were free. Free.. It was a strange word for you. You have been under the mountain for almost fifty years. After your last conversation with Morrigan, you went straight to Rhysands office and demanded that he take you with him. And after some persuading, he did. That celebration.. didn't go the way you and everyone else thought it would. Amarantha somehow took powers of all High lords and imprisoned them Under the mountain, together with their courts. And that's how your life in hell began. You and Rhys tried to come up with a plan on how to get out of this mess, but you came up with nothing. You learned that he locked your friends in Velaris, so at least they were safe. And because of that he let Amarantha use him as she pleased. She was sick and you couldn't be happier that she was dead now. These years were hard for Rhys, they were hard for you, for everyone. Many lost their loved ones, their friends.. And some lost themselves, that was also your case. You were broken. After a year or so, Amarantha found a job for you. You were forced to be entertainment for her most faithful guards. This was the reason why you began to close yourself before others, you tried to get away from all of it and pretending that this isn't your body and it's not happening to you, was the easiest way. Of course, there was Rhys, who was trying to help you as much as he could, but he was also scared that if someone noticed he was paying you this much attention, your situation would only get worse. He was blaming himself for bringing you with him, although you said to him many times, it wasn't his fault. In the end, you persuaded him. You felt terrible, when you knew he saw you like this.. broken. Most of the time, you were trying to avoid him as everyone else. You started talking less and less, not trying to communicate with anyone. You become allergic to the touches, which was understandable considering what you had to do. The day when you were freed by this human girl - Feyre, you were looking like a ghost and feeling empty. After Feyre woke up, after she survived her death, chaos broke out in the hall. Some fairies were cheering happily, some broke down crying in relief and you.. You were standing here, not moving the muscle until Rhysand found you. “Thanks to the Cauldron.. there you are, darling.” He seemed relieved that he was seeing you, his eyes were watching you with care and happiness. “We should come home. I will winnow us, okay?” He took your silence as yes, grabbed your hand gently and before you could protest, you were standing in the familiar room with four figures looking at you and Rhys in surprise.

The house hadn't changed, not a little bit. Your friends looked exactly like fifty years ago. It looked like you and Rhys were gone for maybe a few days, not half a century. The first person who came to senses was Morrigan, who ran to Rhys and hugged him tightly, as they both broke into tears. You used this as an opportunity to shake off Rhysand's hand which was still holding yours. But you didn't have much time to celebrate, because there was already another person touching and hugging, Cassian. You didn't return the hug, instead you tried to get out of the hug as fast as possible. He of course let you go, looking at you with worry and shock at the same time. Your heart was beating rapidly. “I.. I can't..” Saying the first words in this week, you shook your head. This was too much for you. This attention and touches were making you more uncomfortable than you already were. “Y/N?” Morrigan reached out to you and you stepped back. She gave Rhysand a look, asking for an explanation. Instead of answering her, he started walking towards you. “You don't have to worry anymore, Y/N. You are safe here.. Trust me again, please.” He was pleading with you. Pleading you to let him help you, but how could you let it happen? He had his own trauma he had to deal with, he shouldn't be concentrating on you. “I am okay.. I just have to.. get used to everything again.” And with that, you left the room in a hurry, going directly to your room.

The first day after you returned, you were crying your eyes out. The second day, you were sleeping almost all day and the next few days? You spent staring right in front of you, not having the power to cry, eat or talk. Your friends tried to visit you, they tried to talk with you and get you to eat, but you needed time to heal. Well, you were hoping time will heal you, maybe thanks to some miracle? The truth is, this wasn't helping you at all. You were behaving like you would still be Under the mountain and not in Velaris, with your family, who were very worried about you. This wasn't like every other before. You were dressed in black leggings and white sweater, your unwashed hair was in a messy bun and you were laying in your bed, looking like a zombie, when you heard a knock on your door. “Y/N? It's me..” Rhysand's voice was quiet and filled with sadness. “I am going inside.” He wasn't asking you, he simply told you and maybe it was better, because you would probably send him away. He opened the door and closed them behind him. He was looking better than before. His eyes were still tired, he was also not fully healed, but unlike you, he was stronger. Strong enough to talk about his trauma and to face it. He pulled the chair from your table to your bed and sat on it. “We need to talk.. This.. can't continue. I do not expect you to be happy and to act like nothing happened, but at least need to get me and others in. Slowly and one after the other.” You sighed softly and turned your head at him. How come you are so brave? So strong?” You shook your head. “I really admire you. For what you have done and for how you manage to.. continue after all this.” His expression was soft and he averted his eyes. “I would say we both went through the same thing.. So I know how hard it is. To believe it is really over. To wake up during the night sweaty and scared because you had a nightmare. To.. let each other touch you and start talking, trusting someone else again. But you have to push yourself. You can really try slowly, with me at first and then with Mor for example. She wants to help you, we all want to help you.” You felt the tears building in your eyes, trying to blink them away, but didn't succeed. You sat up with tears now rolling on your face. “I.. I.. am just scared. I am coward.” You whispered and he nodded in understatement. “You are not a coward. What happened to you was awful and many people would be in the same state as you. Just.. Let me help you and try not to push me away.” You looked him in the eye, thinking about it for a second, before nodding in agreement. 

After you decided to give it a try, Rhysand came to your room everyday. Sometimes he brought himself work and some books he thought you would like for you and you would spend time in comfortable silence. When you were in a better mood you two were talking about ordinary things and after some time, when you were more comfortable around him, you started to talk about your trauma. Well, he started first, he wanted to show you that you shouldn't be scared or ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes you cried together and hugged each other. He was the first person you allowed to touch you since your returning home and he was well aware of that, so he always hugged you softly and gave you a chance to pull away anytime you would want. Sometimes, you wouldn't let him go for a few minutes and he was patient with you, gently stroking your back, like now “You really don't mind?” This was a question he heard for a third time today, so he laughed a little. “No, I really don't mind. You are very.. comforting for me too, you know.” You smiled a little and buried your face into his chest. He was so warm, he smelled good and you were welcoming that and also a feeling of safety he was bringing to you. You pulled away after a while and sat on your bed, next to him. “I think.. I think I will ask Mor to visit me tomorrow.” His expression changed, he was pleasantly surprised. “Are you sure? I don't want you to get overwhelmed.” You smile slightly at him. “I am sure. Morrigan can be very chatty, but I really miss her and I am feeling better, so I think I will manage.” Rhysand was scanning your face for any doubts, but could not find any. He took your hand in his. “I will be honest. I am really glad you are feeling better, but I will miss having you only for myself.” You chuckled at this. “And I thought you'd had enough of me at this point.” You pretended to disbelieve and put his hand on his chest, right where he has a heart. “Enough of you? I don't believe it's actually possible.” You raised your eyebrow and grinned at him. “I am going to take it as a challenge.” 

“I am so glad you are feeling better! Maybe it's weird, but I was missing you maybe even more since you came home.” You two were sitting in your room, on your bed and drinking wine together after a dinner she brought you. “Yeah.. I think I understand you. And I am sorry I didn't let you in sooner.” She shook her head. “Don't you dare apologize for it. Never, you got it? What happened wasn't your fault and you managed to recover from it soon.” At this moment, you were happier than you were in the past fifty years. “It's thanks to Rhys.. He helped me a lot. I think more than he knows and when at the same time he has to get used to everything himself.. I don't know how I will ever repay him.” In the end, it wasn't a time that healed you. “You are repaying me just by smiling again.” Of course you knew whose voice it was and it unknowingly made you smile even brighter. Morrigan saw this and stood up. “I will leave you two be alone now. Y/N if you don't mind, I will come tomorrow to visit  you again.” You nodded at her “And bring Cassian and Azriel too. I will never admit it in front of them, because Cassian would never stop teasing me, but I miss them both dearly.” Mor grinned at you as she walked past Rhysand and closed the door behind her. You patted on the bed, on the place, which was occupied by your blonde friend only a few seconds ago. Rhys understood what you were telling him and sat next to you. “I mean it, Y/N. I don't want anything from you as some sort of repayment. Actually.. You also helped me very much.” You narrowed your eyes in confusion. “Really? How so?” You weren't aware about anything special you did for him.”Since the day we started spending more time with each other again, I have been feeling better. It was nice, like in old times. I was also trying to get used to some touches and well with you.. It was more natural than with anyone else. It always felt so good to hold your hand, hug you..” He exhaled and looked you in the eyes. “Although I have to admit to you that I was feeling this way.. for a longer time. Actually I think there wasn't a time I wasn't feeling like this with you. At first I blamed it for a simple crush. And when I finally admitted to myself how I feel, the whole thing with Amarantha had happened. I didn't want to rush you and I am sorry for telling you this right now, because we are both still healing, but I love you. That's why I was so.. distant under the mountain. maybe more than it was necessary. But I couldn't risk Amarantha finding out about it.” Telling you were surprised wouldn't be enough. You were absolutely stunned, watching him with wide eyes and mouth open a little. “Rhys.. I don't know what to say.” You offered you a little smile “You don't have to say anything. I just.. couldn't hold it in me anymore.” You shook your head and took his hand into your. “No. I want to. It just surprised me a lot.” You always liked him, but under the Mountain you realized you love him too. Perhaps that's why you also started to avoid him, not wanting him to find out somehow, because it would only complicate some things and possibly destroy your friendship. Or you thought.. “I love you Rhys. And I am not saying this out of some obligation. I love you for your kindness, patience, for your sense of humor.. For everything.” A big grin appeared on his face and you laughed a little. He took your face into his hand, looking at your lips and then to your eyes, asking for permission you gladly gave him. His kiss was very soft, he was clearly scared a little, not wanting to hurt you in any way. After you pulled away from each other, you both were smiling like fools. “Thank you.” You whispered to him, while he was caressing your cheek. “What for, my darling?” You put your hand on his and kissed his palm. “For your love. Because.. Your love healed me.”

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #acotar series #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #rhysand #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhysand imagine #rhysand fanfic #cassian #azriel #morrigan #amarantha

[mayese]

Winter changes it all - Fourth chapter

Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Synopsis: when your friend needs help, you are willing to help her, no matter what.

Warnings: none

BIG note: hi!! I’ve been away for a long time hahaha I’ve never stopped thinking about this work, and I wrote more chapters, and I think it would be ideal to release more now! Also, I wanted to apologize for the way the reader blows up seemingly just because she couldn’t keep eating breakfast, and I’m sorry for that, but mornings are though to everyone ☕️

Plants on the rescue

A week went by and you were surprised with the number of times you started to meet the twins, most of the time as an accident of course. You started to be comfortable around them, feeling like they were your friends. It´s a shock because, first, they´re Gryffindors. And second, they´re Weasley´s. Sometimes your head hurts when you think too much about it. You were seducing the problems yourself and thought you would regret it. But you were having fun. At least they treated you well and were nice and playful, which was something you liked a lot considering who some of your other friends were and how they acted.

Daphne and Tracy are the only ones you know would be by your side no matter what. Still, you were always alone most of the time, so being with Fred and George made you feel slightly happier, or more comfortable maybe, as if Hogwarts had changed for the better, even if it had changed for the worst after Dumbledore vanished and Umbridge rose to power. And things worsened even more when another one of her rules was hammered against the already full wall. It seemed like she was recruiting people for the Inquisitorial Squad, and you already knew who was going to apply.

"Tomorrow we´ll go to her office," Draco says with a proud smile while Pansy nodded. He wouldn´t shut up for all of the breakfast about Umbridge´s stupid Squad, telling everyone at the table of his plans and basically forcing every Slytherin to do the same, as if. "What do you pretend to do, Greengrass?" Daphne wasn´t paying attention to anything he had just said because she had been much more focused on the Ravenclaw boy she had stayed with a few days ago, becoming the target of Draco´s inquisitory.

"I don´t pretend to join her pathetic little club," she said bleakly, looking him in the eyes before seeping some of her pumpkin juice from her cup, and Malfoy frowned at her answer.

You smirked beside Daphne while you ate the delicious stake, happy that Draco hasn’t bothered to ask you if you would join Umbridge’s club. But he probably knew the answer already. "If the requisite is to have super greasy hair I think he´ll be the first one to be recruited," you whisper to Daphne without looking at her, only hearing her giggle quietly while you smiled. 

The conversation about Umbridge´s squad started to fade away, Daphne continued looking at the boy, Blaize was chatting with Tracy, and Pansy, Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle were talking about what they needed to do to be recruited. Meanwhile, you were eating peacefully in the middle, not sparing a glance at anybody else but your delicious food.

However, you found Blaize´s and Tracy´s chat very interesting when they started to discuss the Quidditch matches that were not far away. You never tried to get on the team because they played so dirty that you felt that if you entered you wouldn´t do anything, you would be bored, probably. But maybe the main reason is that you were unsure of your skills with a broom, and you didn´t feel like getting laughed at if you happened to fall off the broom. So you always watched the games enthusiastically.

You just wish that Umbridge doesn’t touch the Quidditch games with her sharp claws. But for now, the path is clear, and you couldn’t wait for the first match between the Ravenclaws and Gryffindor. You already knew who was probably going to win, but you still liked to cheer for Ravenclaw, quietly of course. Imagine a Slytherin cheering for other houses, not you. At least not out loud.

“Whoever wins we’re going to kick their asses later,” Blaize says with a proud grin to Tracey, and you are sure Tracey’s cheeks reddened a bit.

You looked back at the table, wondering what you were going to eat next for dessert, choosing to take a little bit of apple tart. You dig the spoon on the piece you took and got ready to eat it when Daphne startled you with her sudden call for your name.

“C’mon, I need your help to do an essay,” she said before getting up, but you continued sitting, weirded out by her sudden need for help.

“No! This tart is awesome-“

“Sinclair!” You frowned at her lack of good behavior, quickly eating two or three pieces of the tart before getting up and going away from the table with a furious sigh while she followed you.

When you exit the Great Hall you turned to Daphne, stopping her. “Why the fuck did you do that? You don’t have any essays! And you know how much I love that fucking tart!” Yes, it was a lame excuse to get angry, but today you weren’t in the mood.

If she wanted to talk, she could have said so to you.

“Look, I’m sorry. I just,” she said, pausing and looking both ways and you rolled your eyes. What was she going to say that nobody could hear? “I saw you with the Weasleys yesterday, near the principal courtyard, yes?”

Fuck. You didn’t want people to know you talked to them, like, talking in a friendly way and not insulting them every time you meet them. "With the twins? C´mon, you can´t possibly think I would talk to them spontaneously! I would ne-" Before you could continue stating the facts on why you wouldn´t talk to them, Daphne cut you.

“Look, I won’t say a thing. You know me,” she said, looking at you with a tiny smile. “And I know what kind of trouble you could get into for just talking to someone like them. So, even if you don’t help, I swear I’ll take this secret to the grave.” She puts her palm on her chest and closes her eyes, giggling while you chuckled.

Well, it isn’t as if you tried to hide the fact that you talked to the twins when you were in the halls or something, and it isn’t as if half of your Slytherin colleagues didn’t know you talked to them and already eyed you suspiciously. But you still wanted to keep it a secret, at least in a way that your parents don’t find out.

"What about it?" What could she possibly want with them?

"I knew you wouldn´t refuse to help your sweat friend," she screeched and grabbed your arm, making you walk along with her.

"Don´t push it," you warn, but she seems to have not heard it. “Anyways, what do you think that I can do for whatever you want?"

She stops you from walking, standing in front of you with a more stern look on her face. "I know it will sound stupid, but, remember Roger?"

You rolled your eyes at her question. "How could I not? You´re always talking about him non-stop." She snickers at your comment before you ask her what you should do. "But weren’t you sticking your tongue on his mouth early this morning? Why do I have to ask for help from the twins if you already know the guy?” You ask, genuinely curious and a bit frustrated by the fact that you had no idea how to help Daphne, and you were sure you would embarrass yourself in front of the two pranksters because of her.

"I- He told me he couldn’t see me anymore. Even though we just snogged for like, 5 minutes,” she said, whispering the last part completely bewildered. “He said that his parents wouldn’t approve and such, and I was baffled you know? The way he talked to me before we even tried anything made me think he actually liked me.” Suddenly you felt like this wasn’t a playful conversation anymore since Daphne seemed more serious, each word being pronounced like she was in pain.

You instantly wrapped your arms around her, squishing her body gently and stroking her back. “I’m not sure if I like that guy anymore, but if you really want to try again, I’ll help,” you say in her ear, not knowing if that was the right thing to do.

On one side, the guy seems like an asshole for pushing Daphne away like that after everything just because she´s a Slytherin. But on the other hand, she genuinely liked him, and you knew she wouldn’t give up that easily, even if he’s a douchebag.

“Thank you,” she said softly before taking a step back away from you, breaking the hug. “So, I’m thinking you should make them throw a party!” She said excitedly, and you chuckled, baffled by her idea and happy that she seemed to have recovered from the talk she had earlier.

“Sure, Daph,” you said with a giggle before you two walked away from the great hall, talking about how would you be able to help Daphne.

After attending your first class that afternoon you were on your way to the other one, walking around the halls while everybody around you did the same. However, your peace of mind was disrupted when Fred caught up on you, greeting you with his usual brightness that you weren´t sure made you nauseated anymore.

"Hello there gorgeous," he said while you two walked beside each other. And even without looking you felt his height, like, literally felt it. If you looked at him you were sure you would have to look up, and indeed you always had. 

You also remembered that Daphne asked you to talk with Fred, but you’re not sure if you should do it since you and Fred started talking more or less than some weeks ago.

You sigh in frustration, stopping your walk to your next class to look at him. “I already told you yesterday to cut that off,” you whisper to him, clearly irritated by the fact that he was very dear to your likes. It’s just that you don’t want to get that close to him, you just like his company. “Anyways, shouldn’t you be training for the game?” You ask so as not to let him answer what you said before.

“It’s going to begin in a couple of minutes,” he informs with a smirk, which indicated the upcoming of something you wouldn’t want to hear. “But, how could I not call you gorgeous, Sinclair?” He asks, faking to be shocked before trying to touch your face. However, you stop him by grabbing his hand, glaring at him deadly.

“Don’t,” you say menacingly but Fred keeps on looking at you with something in his eyes, something you can’t quite figure out yet. However, your eyes travel from his brown ones to his hand, and you immediately see something you had shamefully forgotten. “Merlin… Does it-“

Before you could say another word he abruptly takes his hand away, putting them in his pockets before smiling at you. “It’s always so nice to meet you my dear, but now I’ll have to go or Oliver may murder me when I arrive late to the pitch!” He says, and you didn’t have a second to say something while he walked away backwards from you.

"Goodbye darling!" He shouts, making every student that was present look at him before he turns around, disappearing through the halls and leaving you alone again. How could you have forgotten about the awful scar on his hand? You can´t imagine how painful that must be, which made you think about how well he hides the pain. 

"Hey!" Luna showed up suddenly behind you and startled you, greeting you softly, probably not acknowledging the fact that she almost gave you a heart attack.

“Luna.” You smile at her half-heartedly, still recovering from the scare she gave you. “Do you plan on watching the game?" You ask before walking to your class along with the blonde girl.

"Of course," she answered with her usual calmness. "I just hope Ravenclaw wins this time." You chuckle at her wish since you share it, but if you were being real, Ravenclaw would have low chances this year.

You and her enter the room and before you split up to go sit at your tables. You sit beside Tracey, greeting her with a quick hi. "I´m so glad Professor Sprout decided to give as a theoric lesson," you say with relief.

"Yes! Last time I pared up with Ron and he almost threw up on me because he touched the weed´s pus," Tracey said bitterly, remembering how awful it went when she was paired up with other people. Meanwhile, Professor Sprout entered the classroom, quickly starting her class.

Today you would be learning about something that perked up your interest the moment you heard Professor Sprout begin to talk, magic plants with healing powers. Your shameful moment from moments ago replayed itself in your head again, and you found it quite exciting to be learning this since you could use it for something. Were you really thinking he would accept your help? Would he really trust you with something like that? Maybe he would have his reasons to think that you would poison him.

Sometime later, Professor Sprout began with her questions which only Neville seemed able to answer. "So, can somebody tell me three examples of plants with healing powers?" She looked around the classroom with hopeful eyes, but to her desmise, she only saw Neville´s arm up while the rest of the class kept quiet.

You also looked around, seeing some students even dozing off. Next to you, Tracey was writing something that was definitely not related to Herbology, perhaps an essay she had to finish. 

“Just one example, Neville,” Professor Sprout said before sighing tiredly while Neville smiled before answering.

“Dittany,” he says simply, and Sprout nods in agreement before explaining what the plant did.

“Dittany is used in the Wiggenweld Potion. It is a healing potion with the power to awake someone from a magically-induce sleep,” she explains. “It can also be used to ease powerful stomach aches.” She added before looking around the class one more time. “So, can someone give me two more examples?”

Once again, nobody said anything. You peeped at Neville, watching as the boy tried to suppress the urge to raise his arm. It was almost hilarious how excited he was while the rest of your colleagues where almost dying of boredom. You guess he’s just passionate about Herbology.

Suddenly, Hannah Abbot, who sat two rows behind Neville, raised her arm, making an excited smile crack on Professor’s Sprout face, like as if her face had lit up.

“Go on, Hannah,” she encouraged, and you looked at the girl just like Neville did, curious about what she was going to say.

“Fluxweed and… Murtlap?” She answered slowly, unsure of the last thing she said. You had no idea if she was right, and so you glanced back at your teacher while Tracey was still caught up on her paper.

“You got one right, darling,” Sprout said with a smile. “Fluxweed is also used on a potion, the Polyjuice potion. But it can also be used to mend broken bones, to heal or stitch open wounds and also relieve stomach aches!” Your ears perked up even more the moment professor Sprout said the last part, and so you scribbled quickly the name of the plant on your paper, just for future reference and use.

“However, murtlap is not a plant, it is an animal. Murtlap essence is strained from their tentacles and therefore it is used to sooth and heal cuts and abrasions,” she says calmly while looking at Annah with a smile. “So anyone can give me one last example?”

You scribble again, “murtlap”. That’s perfect for Fred’s hand, hopefully you would be able to help him. But why were you desiring to help him? He didn’t even said that if it still hurts, and you don’t owe him anything.

But that’s when it hits you. If you help him with the wound, he may help you with Daphne’s thing. That way you wouldn’t owe him anything when you ask for his help. A favor for a favor. Alright, you think. Let’s hunt some murtlaps.

#fred weasely x y/n #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #george weasley #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #hogwarts au #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #daphne greengrass #draco malfoy #pansy parkinson #blaize zabini #slytherin #albus dumbledore #herbology #professor sprout

[magicalmao]

Magical Girl Mao- Beginning

Ah, to be a squirrel in the grass instead of a girl in a class.

She had first set foot into Our Lady of Hope only yesterday, but she’d immediately decided that she hated it. Beyond the tall glass doors was a large main hall, full of more students than Mao’s previous schools combined. Maybe a happier soul would see it as an opportunity- Mao’s small schools were full of unpleasant people, so maybe more people meant a higher chance of finding someone who would actually want to be her friend? But Mao was not a happy soul, and she couldn’t allow herself to hope.

At least she had her dad, she thought to herself miserably. “I’m sorry about all of this,” she told him softly, looking down at her black boots.

“It’s not your fault they could only do this during school hours,” he reassured her, ruffling her bubblegum pink hair. Though Mao smiled back at him, it was obviously forced.

That… wasn’t what she was sorry for, at least not entirely. These last few days had been a mess, and she’d felt like a horrible burden on her dad. He’d had to miss work to move her down here, and now he was missing sleep before work to sign her up for the school that she had chosen. He said it was fine, but she could see the bags beneath his eyes. He was tired, and it was all her fault.

Still, he smiled down at her fondly, and she could almost tell herself that she was doing the right thing by moving down here. 

After all, you couldn’t get schools like this back in her hometown. Our Lady of Hope was the city’s best art school, maybe even the best in the province. It had a large auditorium, a dark room and, what interested Mao the most, an entire room full of state-of-the-art sewing machines.

But for all its grandeur, it was still just a high school with normal students, normal halls, and the same typical secretary on the phone with someone, talking about pointedly not-school-related stuff and ignoring them entirely. Luckily for them, the principal was already waiting for them. To say she was intimidating would be an understatement. The woman towered over her and her dad.She offered them her hand and her dad, unphased because most people towered above him, shook it. Mao, however, looked up in awe.

“Mister Miki, Mao! It’s nice to meet you,” she said with a cheerful grin. “You’re tall,” said Mao, dumbfounded, but when she was offered the hand, she shook it as well. Her grip was firm. Unsurprising.

“I get that a lot. Anyways, come in!” she said, and the two followed her down a narrow hall and into a large office.

Mao settled bitterly on the chair next to her father, taking in surroundings she would likely become very familiar with very soon, if her track record of detentions continued as it had always. The room was windowless, for being in the center of the building, and the plain white walls contained a plethora of motivational posters, paintings, and the occasional commemorative plaque detailing some kind of award either the Principal or the school had gotten On the desk, there was a singular picture in a frame, and the Principal seemed to notice her looking at it.

[ Principal Daguerre: That’s my daughter, Haru…. I think you two will get along nicely! Mao: Somehow I doubt she’ll like me.]

[After class- Haru: Hello, you must be Mao! Mom talked a lot about you, I’m Haru! I’m excited to meet you!] [ Haru, in sparkles: I’m excited to meet you!] [Haru: Um… Mao? Mao: What? Friends? She said she’s excited to meet ME?]

[ And that was how Mao made her first friend.]

Mao had never had many friends, and the few that she had were made on the internet, through social groups or roleplaying. As they talked, however, Mao felt a bubble of hope in her chest, that maybe she and Haru could be friends. That maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t feel so cold and  alone here, like she had in Queen’s City. The two girls found themselves a quiet place to settle in a barely used staircase, thanks to Haru’s vast knowledge of the school. But as they walked, Mao could see people staring at them and whispering. She couldn't help but feel bad, wondering if maybe people were judging Haru for hanging out with the weird kid.

Haru, however, didn’t seem to notice the stares. “So Mom said that you’re from Queen’s City? Played against them before. They were kind of jerks,” she said, settling down on a stair. “No offense, of course.” “None taken, they really were. And! The school treated them like the end-all-be-all. One of them slammed me into a locker once, and guess who got detention! Not him!” Mao hissed… and then immediately felt bad for talking so much, and for dumping something so awful on Haru during their first conversation ever. Surely, this would sour Haru’s opinion of her. “Slammed you into a locker? Why would they do that?” Haru asked, looking over in concern. Mao just shrugged. “Why do bullies bully? I’m small, chubby, nerdy, and I have a temper. I’m the perfect person to pick on.” Haru frowned, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I get that. I get picked on a lot, too. Mostly for my looks,” she said, flexing, “Too buff. You look too much like a man. You’ll never get a man like that, so on and so forth.” “Well that’s bullshit, you look beautiful And any man who doesn’t see it isn’t worth your time.” “You’re just saying that,” Haru said, but she was still smiling at Mao’s compliment. “I’m really not. Sugarcoating things just hurts people in the long run.” “Yup,” Haru agreed. They fell into a bit of a silence afterwards, with which Haru seemed completely fine, but Mao was inwardly sweating about. She needed to find something, anything, to say, but was floundering. She’d never been good at conversations. But then something shiny caught her eye. “Is that a superman lunchbox?” she asked. Haru beamed. “You bet! I love Superman. I know most people don’t care for him, but he’s just so…” “... Good?” Mao supplied, “Kind?” “Yeah,” she agreed. “Wish I was like that,” said Mao, frowning. Haru just shrugged. “You could be,” she said earnestly. But Mao wasn’t so sure.

Mao and Haru had a bunch of classes together, and spent most of their time together after that. It turned out that the two had a lot more in common than they had thought. Haru was witty and kind, but also incredibly lonely. How someone like that didn’t have a ton of friends, Mao didn’t know, but Haru often said the same about her. That she had heart, that she was a lot better a person than she thought she was. It was nice to have someone who cared so much about her, who saw the good in her even if she didn’t see it herself.

But the best part about being friends with Haru, beyond /being friends with Haru/, was that she kept Mao out of fights.

“Canceled?” Haru said, staring at the paper plastered on the gym doors like it had just kicked her dog. Mao and Haru often made their way to the gym after eating their lunches- Haru to play, and Mao to cheer her on. For the first time in a month, however, the gym was closed, and their plans were stopped dead in their tracks. “What now?” Asked Mao. She’d suggest going outside, but it was raining quite heavily. “ Um… we could… Go work on our French Project?” Haru suggested, though she wasn’t too keen on the suggestion. Still, it was a big project and needed to be done. “I guess,” said Mao, shrugging. So they made their way to the library.

If not for the massive auditorium, the library would be the crown jewel of the school. A whole two floors, with balconies and books a plenty, it was the biggest in the entire school board and had everything the heart could desire. Despite this, this was the first time that Mao had walked into the library, and she took a second to take in its grandeur.

The bottom floor had a lot of tables, most of which were filled with students working or reading, but one of them was mostly empty, save for a single student Mao kind of recognized. They settled down there, and pulled out their books.

Then promptly sighed in unison.

“We need to… shoot a video? I’ve never done anything like that before.” “Really? Madame Johnson loves to make us shoot videos. Whatever she can get us to show,” Haru said, shrugging. It was a lot different from how her old school had been; they had never done anything inventive like this… Probably because they weren’t art schools. But there was one problem with the whole ordeal. Mao didn’t have a camera, and she said as much to Haru.

“Oh! Sorry to eavesdrop, but…” the student beside them said, “I just realized, Madame Johnson didn’t put me in any groups for the Phantom of the Opera project, do you think I could be a part of your group? I have a camera to offer. A really good one!”

Mao looked at Haru. Haru looked at Mao. The two of them shrugged at the same time. The student, James, was quiet and reserved, known for scribbling absently during classes as he listened on, but was very polite in the few times he spoke up. Neither had a problem with him. He pulled his chair over and smiled. “Thank you!” he said softly.

“I had like… A really neat idea. Instead of just doing a scene from the book, we could do multiple small bits of scenes and chain them together like a fake movie trailer?” Mao suggested. Haru’s eyes went wide.

“That sounds cool. Oh, can I be the phantom?”

“Sure, I don’t mind. James, who do you want to be?”

“Uh…” he shuffled his papers, and grimaced. “I’d actually really like to be the one recording.”

“But you have to be a part of the thing. Mrs Johnson said so,” Mao said, but she frowned sympathetically. She could understand his reluctance to be in front of the camera. Not everyone was made for acting. “Uh… Well, if there’s any small parts?” he said.

“Well, we can see if there are. As for which scenes we are going to do?”

“Maybe each of us can choose our favorite scenes? That way it’s fair for everyone,” Mao suggested. She handed each of them a piece of paper, and they all began to read individually. Mao had read the Phantom of the Opera before. Her fondest memories were of her father belting out the songs in the car with her, and so finding her favorite scene was easy. She scribbled down a few ideas, but found her mind wandering to the scenery around her, and specifically to the main desk. Mao expected some crotchety old lady would be hushing every table that talked too loudly, but the dark skinned woman at the desk looked more like a fellow student than an elderly librarian. She seemed kind, and gentle. Mao scribbled absently at her paper, drawing the woman, who’s name tag said…

“That’s really nice,” said James, startling her out of her thoughts. When Mao looked up, the other two were staring at her, finished with their work, and she squeaked, hiding her drawing with her hands instinctively. “Oh… Uh… Thank you?” she said, lifting her hands off the drawing before they could smudge the graphite. “You’re welcome!” Haru said cheerfully. “It’s the librarian, yeah?” “Yeah… I know, it’s weird to draw people without their permission.” Mao said. James laughed sheepishly. “Is it? I do it like… all the time,” he said, opening his sketchbook to a drawing of Mao looking solemnly out the window in class. “Woah, that’s super cool,” she said, taking in the details. James was a much better artist than Mao. Before she could voice such, though, the bell rang, and it was time for class. She dragged herself up, reluctant for it, but knew it had to be done.

—--

When Mao got home, she immediately flopped onto the couch and let out a sigh. The elevator wasn't working again, and she'd had to climb up seven flights of stairs into an empty apartment- both empty in items and in humans.

This was pretty much routine for her, however.

Come home, flop on the couch and take a nap, wake up when dad got home, make supper together, homework, shower and sleep.

Simple. A little boring, but simple… And so much better than the life she had lived before she had moved in with her dad, with the constant screaming matches between her and her mother.

She preferred the silence by miles. But today, it was too quiet, and thoughts she wished would stay away crept up into her brain. She thought of the final fight between her and her mother. How so often, it was just her mother screaming at her that she was a burden, that she’d never amount to anything if she kept up her attitude, not to talk back… Finally, that night Mao had had enough. Her mother hit her, and she hit back. And then she slammed Mao into a wall and screamed in her face, and then and there Mao decided that she’d had enough. She called her dad in tears, ready to beg for him to come and pick her up, but she need not beg. He welcomed her with arms wide open. At least he was the silver lining, but still… Everything her mother had said to her hurt.

I wish you were dead. You’ll never amount to anything.

Sleep just wasn’t coming today, and her thoughts were spiraling. Mao shook her head, sat, and decided that she should probably get to working on her homework. That way, at least, she could play some video games later. She reached for her bag, and then noticed something shining in it. Something that had not been in it before.

Well, shit.

Mao’s heart beat a mile a minute as she observed the brooch in her hands. It looked expensive, with a large red gem in the center of a pale pink cat head shape. How had it gotten into her bag? Had someone slipped it in there, trying to frame her for its theft?

And she had thought that things were going so well. Sure, some people were mean to her, but no one outright sought her out to bully her here. She shoved it back into her bag, shaking. What was she supposed to do? Hide it, so that when they came searching for it tomorrow, they wouldn’t find it? No. That seemed like a bad idea. Come clean and be honest? Would anyone even believe her? Haru. Haru would believe her! She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a text to Haru.

Talking to Haru did nothing to stop her pounding heart. “What do I do, what do I do?” he mumbled to the empty room, pacing back and forth. There was only one thing she could do- Wait for the inevitable. Would theft get her expelled from the school she had so wanted to go to? Was this a world record for expulsion?

And worse yet, what if they pressed charges? Her dad couldn’t possibly handle that.

He had so much on his plate already.

In the morning, Mao found herself in front of the principal’s office, fidgeting with the chains attached to her skirt. She briefly realized that this was the first time she had been called in here, despite her past track record of being called to the Principal’s office at least once a week. Mournfully, she thought about how well she had been doing, all for it to come crashing down because of some jerk trying to frame her. But when Mrs Daguerre opened the door, she didn’t seem to be upset at Mao. In fact, she was smiling ear to ear, and Haru was there with her. So was James, looking utterly devastated, holding something shining in his hands, and the librarian, Lynn. “Well, I can see you’re all very worried about what this means,” the principal said softly, urging Mao into the room. She closed the door behind them. “But fear not. You’re not in trouble.” Mao let out a loud sigh of relief. “In fact… Congratulations,” Said Mrs Daguerre, brimming with pride, “You’ve all been chosen to be Our Lady of Hope’s next Magical Girls.”

#magical girl mao #Magical Girl Mao number one #original story

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Babe! What about reader being friends with dustin (like she used to be his babysitter) and using him to be close to eddie because she's had a crus on him since he borrowed her a pink pencil in like 7th grade or something like that idk

A/n: ooh so cute!

Eddie Munson, people said a lot of things about him, a lot of things that weren’t true. You heard the whispers of him being a Satan worshipper, that he drank the blood of innocent animals.

Honestly who came up with that kinda crap?

“Idiots that’s who! Eddie is fuckin awesome!” The voice of Dustin chimed in breaking you from your thoughts. You were driving him and his friends to their little club. Being Dustin’s former baby sister his mother trusted you to watch him. You did not mind of course, he was like a little brother to you besides hanging out with him meant that you could spend time with Eddie.

The boy you’ve had a crush on since 7th grade, ever since he borrowed your favorite pink pencil. Ever since he drew kickass demon dog on your arm, him even going as far as to give you a drawing of the dog when he found out you were being transferred to another school. You knew it was silly, to have a crush on someone you probably didn’t even remember you.

“You gonna join us today or you gonna lame and sit out again.” Mike asked, you knew he was teasing you of course. The teen having figured out your crush on Eddie.

“I think I’ll actually join you today.” It was not secret, you would always join Dustin and the others and soon you and it did not take long for you and Eddie to become friends.

And Keeping your promise you did join the game, while you did not know much you managed go at least keep your character alive. Though you stepped back letting the gang celebrate a win thanks to Erica.

“Y/n.”

Nearly jumping out of your skin you turned around to see Eddie giving you a nervous smile. “Hey Eddie.Surprised you remember my name.” You let out a forced laugh oh to stop when a pink pencil was thrusted on your face. It looked just like the one you let him borrow back in 7th grade, right down to the large puffball on the top.

“You think I would forget about the only girl who was nice to me?” Eddie glanced down for a moment, he was trying his best to work out his feelings for you with out messing this up. “What I’m try to say is that I like you y/n….like a lot…I’ve had a crush on you for years an-.”

“Eddie”Giving him a smile you stepped closer to him, your fingers wrapping around the pink pencil only to tug him close. The man stumbling forward his his hands found themselves wrapped around your waist,as he nervously glanced away. Your voice was so soft though he did not know how to react to the heat of it.

“I’ve feel the same way.” Standing on your toes you pressed a kiss to his lips. Eddie was about to depend it until the loud cheering snapped you both out of it.

“Ah y/n I feel a little hurt.” Dustin gave you a grin, you knew what he was up too. “I can’t believe you used me to get close to Eddie again.” He was teasing of course. He couldn’t be happier for you both, to the girl that would always stick up to him, the one that acted like a big sister when you didn’t have to and to Eddie, that made me feel welcomed.

“Alright…everyone leave! I want to talk to Eddie alone.”

Dustin’s eyes went wide for a moment “Is that code for se-.” Unable to finish his sentence, Mike shot you an apologetic smile as he and the others stepped out.

Making sure you two were alone, you quickly locked the door giving Eddie a grin. “Want to see my tattoo?”

“You have a tattoo?” Eddie did his best to look you over, trying to find it as you suddenly placed your hands on his chest pushing him down on the couch.

Straddling his lap, your lips brushed his jaw. “It’s in a spot where I have to get naked.”

“I’m very curious now….I..I would like to see it.”

“Good.”

#drabbles #drabble #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #stranger things s4 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things

[michelle-is-writing]

Family Matters, Greg House

Word count: 1.7k~

In the time I’ve worked at Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital, some might say I'm the bubbly doctor in our group. Although I don’t know how true this might be, I do know everyone can agree I'm definitely more bubbly than doctor Gregory House, but that's for another day to discuss. I'm usually the one people send in to try and cheer up patients. Because of this, I mostly work in the pediatrics ward where young, sick children are. Sometimes, I have an easy time talking to the kids and making them happier, and sometimes, I don't; usually, when I'm upset, I have a hard time.

Right now, I'm having a very difficult time.

A young New Jersey girl at the age of 11 had developed mastoiditis, an infection that affects the mastoid bone above the ear and is typically caused by a middle ear infection. Usually, this all clears up, but sadly, this infection had grown to be so bad that the girl ended up with only twenty-three percent of her hearing left in the one ear. Although this is the case, I'm not having a hard time because of the girl's loss of hearing, no.

I have my own problems at the moment.

Since I'm working in the children's ward, I don't get to see Wilson or Greg as much as I want to. Despite Greg's tendency to be an asshole, he's still my best friend and not to mention that Wilson is the kind of guy anyone can talk to about anything. However, our schedules are all different, so, as I said: we don't get to see each other that often.

At least they're still in my life though. For my family, I can’t say the same. Recently, I've just lost the closest person to me in my family; although it wasn’t through death, but through immaturity and childishness. Because of this, all of my other family members have closed me out as well, causing me to be alone. With all of my friends busy and my family shutting me out, I have no one to talk to or enjoy time with... no one. I can't even get a boyfriend for Christ's sake, and it's not like the guy I have my eyes on actually likes me back. Greg is the type of guy you can easily fall in love with, yet at the same, you really shouldn't.

"Doctor (y/n)," the young girl by the name of Jessie states. Putting all my focus back on her, I remind myself not become distracted anymore today. This isn’t the first time, unfortunately. "Will my hearing ever return?"

I smile sadly at her and shake my head. "I'm sorry, Jessie," I tell her. "Your hearing in that ear won't return, but it's not a bad thing!" I assure her. She smiles in relief. "We can always get you a hearing aid, and that will help get your hearing back to normal again, but the wait might be a little long," I explain. "Is that okay with you?"

She nods her head at my question. "I'm okay with that, doctor (Y/n)," Jessie tells me, "I'll have my family help me until then," she smiles brightly. "You can always look up to your family, right?" She states, confident in her words.

Tears slowly rising to my eyes at the thought, I nod and quickly blink them away. "That's right," I tell her, still smiling. "And don't you ever forget it," looking toward her parents, I nod my head. "The discharge nurse will be here in a few moments with the papers. If you'll excuse me..."

Without another word, I quickly leave the room and walk as fast as I can to the nearest empty room. I prefer going to James’ office instead, but it's two floors away, and I don't want any awkward elevator trips. So, before I have a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway, I find an unlocked janitorial closet before walking in and closing the door behind me, ultimately sliding down the hardwood door once it's shut.

Sitting on the cold, tile floor, I begin sobbing as quiet as I can, my hand covering my mouth. I already had my family drama on my mind all day, but for that girl to unintentionally throw it back in my face? That was the frosting on top of the already leaning, three-layer cake.

Tears stream down my cheeks like raindrops as I cry my heart out. I can tell my cheeks are red by the sensation of heat I currently feel on them; my hands feel it too. I'm crying so hard my chest begins to heave up and down as if I were having a panic attack. Oh God, I can't have a panic attack. Not here, not now.

Behind me, I feel two knocks on the door, causing me to halt. The only problem is: the knock wasn't above me, it was where my back is against the door. Remind you, I'm currently sitting on the floor. The only way someone can knock that low is if there is a midget behind the door there or someone used something like a cane... it's Greg.

Slowly moving up a little, I shakily open the door and let the grey haired man in, watching as he looks at me with pity. I've never seen the confident doctor House look like this with anyone. It's like a... a totally different Greg.

Sitting down beside me against the door, Greg drops his cane beside him as he sighs and wraps his arm around me before gently tugging my body close to his. Shocked, I tense up, tears no longer pouring out of my eyes. Greg never comforts anyone like this. He always makes fun of them or says something that many people take offense to, but he never... he never cares. He always brushes it off his shoulder, yet for some reason, he seems like he actually cares this time.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his voice deep as usual with no emotion.

I wait a few seconds before lying. "Nothing important," I tell him, my voice wavering from my scattered emotions.

Pulling me back to face him, Greg looks me in the eye before sighing again. "I know you've been crying by the wet tears on your cheeks, slight puffiness, and redness to your eyes, and fast-paced breathing - and I don’t even have to be a doctor to notice that," he breaks down my current state, lifting an eyebrow. "Now, are you going to begrudgingly tell me what's wrong or do I need to stay in here with you until you finally give in to all my unrelenting sexiness."

His comment makes me laugh, causing a grimace of a smile to fall on House's lips. Out of all of us, I've been the only one to do that. I've been the only one to break Greg's stone exterior and interior. Plus, It doesn't help that I like Greg romantically. I like the fact that he's confident and witty; he's not afraid to be himself. Although, he can still be quite an ass to others, but to me, he’s always been nothing but kind. Even when I first started working here, he was still patient and sweet - a rare sight to everyone else. It used to hurt me to think he’ll never feel the same way as me, but I’ve gotten so used to that fact that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

"It's just... my family," I explain, Greg pushing my head back onto his shoulder as he holds me. At this point, I'm not shocked by anything he does. The infamous doctor could be high for all I know. He probably took a few Vicodin tablets before coming down here now that I think of it.

"They've completely... shut me out," I explain, shrugging as I rest my hand on his shoulder. "They never talk to me anymore, they've blocked me in any way of even trying to talk to them. My cousin just sent me an email last night telling me that I didn't need to contact them anymore as they no longer wanted me in their lives," I close my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Plus, I wish I could work with you guys again," I take a breath before saying the next thing. "I miss you."

A few seconds of silence pass before Greg leans down to my face level. Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by his own sapphire orbs, watching as he continually inches forward until his lips plant themselves on mine. Our eyes close at the same time in response to the touch of our lips, and they stay that way too. With my heart beating fast and a different fire in my cheeks, I instantly respond to his kiss while placing my hands on the sides of his face, feeling his hands attach themselves to my hips as I do so. We kiss until we have to breathe, both of us pulling apart simultaneously.

"They don't deserve you," Greg tells me, a little out of breath. "You are wonderful; a decent and kind human being, inside and out," he takes a small pause, flashing his blue eyes down to mine. "I never thought I’d say this, but… because of you, I think maybe not everyone is a horrible person and that maybe I can be a bit nicer a time or two," he then smiles at me, kissing me once more. "You have made me feel love believe it or not."

Smiling, I lean up to kiss his forehead before sitting back down and resting my head against his chest, my eyes cast upon him as he looks down at me. "You've also made me feel love," I confess to him, my voice shy. "I've grown to love you as well. You and your sarcastic comments and witty comebacks and your insults to apparent stupid people," for once, he laughs, making me grin. "I can't help but love it all."

After a few moments, Greg speaks up. "I know I can't be your entire family," he murmurs, holding me close. "But I can try to be your... your..." He draws on, clearly trying to come up with an appointed title for himself. After a few seconds, I giggle and cut him off.

"Boyfriend?" I ask, making him roll his eyes.

"I was going to say significant other," he argues, looking over to me. "The term boyfriend is so, well, childish," he complains, making me giggle.

Leaning closer, I peck his lips. "Good thing you have a childish mind," I tease him, pressing my lips to his one more time before he responds to my comment with something horrible or completely inappropriate. It is Doctor House we’re talking about, after all.

#greg house #gregory house #gregory house imagines #gregory house imagine #gregory house x reader #greg house imagine #greg house x reader #greg house imagines #house md #house md x reader #house md imagine #house md imagines

[nicobaka]

Discussing Juvia's major character flaw | attachment issues

I think most of you already know I love Juvia, I really do. But I also really love analyzing characters and even their flaws. And for Juvia, I think her greatest flaw is her attachment issues. Her happiness and I'd say even her self-worth is very reliant to the lives of her friends and loved ones. Now this isn't one of those Juvia slander shit that we always see, as I said I do love her Juvia. But I'm just gonna acknowledge her flaw, talk about the reasons for it, and how I think she does something about it to be a better person.

The reason for why she turned out like this is the way she was treated in her childhood. We all know what she experienced during those times. She was shunned away by literally everyone. It seems like she didn't even have at least her parents to be there for her, she was shown to be always alone, even inside her house, which is why she's so desperate for affection and love.

Everyone avoided her, and hated and always talked about how it always rains around her.

Some even went as far as to bully her (which is horrible. She was already going through a lot during those times..)

Fake Salamander breaking up with her because he can't do his normal activities with her and the constant rain..

She then started to think that the only way for people to like her is to adjust and change herself for them, which is not good at all. She turned out this way because people only focused and cared about what she brought them (the constant "gloominess" and the rain, which is out of her control), but they didn't really care about her as a person.

But then Phantom Lord came. She thought that those people of cared for her. She thought she finally had a place where she'll fit in, where she's accepted and acknowledged. But in reality, they are like those people during her childhood. They only cared about what she can give to them and what she can bring them to their advantage (power), but they didn't really care about her as a person (which is ironic, considering that she probably thought they're different from the other people who treated her bad back then, but they're actually pretty much the same, if not worse).

Jose inviting her to join the guild. In her mind, she saw this as something that's good. But it isn't.

She then started to realize how poorly she was treated by those people when she finally met a decent human being who treated her nicely (Gray), who actually helped her and acknowledges her as a person, unlike the other people she has met before. Along with his friends who cared for her like no one ever did before (Fairy Tail). This lovely, fun place with people that's full of warmth and joy of which she's never felt, so much warmth that even when it rains, with them it feels like the sun is still shining... She becomes a happier, more cheerful, and more lovable, all unlike before. But something still hasn't changed..

The rain going away and Gray showing her the sun, indicating that she's finally felt joy for the first time in years, probably the first time in her life.

She becomes so attached to her new found friends that she and her whole happiness soon becomes reliant to them. She would do everything she knows, change her appearance, give them gifts, anything. Sometimes even if it puts her to danger.. All of this not only because she cares for them (we all know she does), but also because she thinks it's the only way they would accept her and love her, which is the very same thing she has been trying to do with Phantom Lord and with the other people before. She's trying to fit in. She's still so desperate for affection and acceptance. Because even when she already gets it, even when Lucy has already stated from the start that Fairy Tail will never reject a person like her, she still wasn't able to fully process nor understand it. Because she's has never felt anything like that before, it's something unfamiliar, strange, alien to her.. Although they already did accept her unlike the others, and they said (Cana specifically), that she doesn't have to go too far for acceptance because they already accepted her.

"You don't have to add '-san' to my name anymore, since we're friends now, okay?"

(note that '-san' is a honorific suffix used in Japanese when referring to a person in a respectful way. So not using it may mean that you're really close, or at least you think so.. or that you're just a disrespectful mf lmao)

"Juvia just wants you all to hurry up and accept her..." she says after Cana asks why she decided to hurt herself than be forced to hurt her friends..

But because of her experiences in the past, she become so afraid to loose people like them and go back to how she was without them, lonely. And she has given all her love towards them, so much love that when they all left, when the guild disbanded and Gray left for a mission, all her love also went away with them and there's absolutely nothing left for herself.

She's alive because of them. She's happy because of them. She's cheerful because of them. She continues living because of them.

But without them.. what's the point..?

She has made her happiness, and I'd say even her self-worth so dependent on them that when they all left, she becomes numb, depressed, and completely unable to do anything but grieve and wait and wish they would come back. Now, without them, she's worse than how she was even before she met them. She wasn't even able take care of herself.

Depressed Juvia waiting for Gray outside their house while it's raining, causing her to be extremely sick.

And I mean, everyone's was sad about FT disbanding and all that. And just like her, Lucy was also sad that her man left. But Lucy was still able to take care of herself and live and work, and even managed to research about everybody's whereabouts and persue her dream of becoming a writer. But Juvia? She was completely DEVASTATED. While everyone was still able to live their lives and go on, Juvia wasn't. I mean, she was, at least for a while. Until Gray left her completely all alone in that abandoned village and it started to rain harder than it did 8 years ago. And this attachment issue is a big problem that I think needs to be tackled and taken care off. At some point, she needs to do something about it to grow and be a better person, for others and for herself. Which is what I think she's slowly trying to do in 100 Years Quest.

Many of us didn't like how Gray leaves her again while he takes on a long mission. Some even suggests that she should just join his team and go to quests with them. And while them spending their time together is great, I think spending their time away from each other helps both of them to grow. For Juvia, I think that spending time away from Gray has taught her some things and has helped her especially about her attachment issues. She's still upset about him leaving, of course. We can see that especially at the first chapter of 100YQ, when she was crying and murmuring something about how Gray left for a mission without her. But over time, she's slowly starting to acknowledge that this is a job that Gray chose, and therefore she should respect his decision, let him do it, and trust him with it. Even if it means he can't spend much time with her or talk to her about the quest, and even if it means that one day he might not even be able to return home anymore because of it...

An FT100YQ extra chapter that focuses and Juvia and Gray just before Gray leaves for the mission

She's learning to live even if she is away from him. And that, I think, is the meaning behind this official artwork of Juvia, where she's standing in the rain, smiling.

Mashima's graffiti for 2021's Juvia day (June 3). Also please keep in mind that these dedication days are fanmade and its not Mashima's obligation nor is it his responsibility to always draw for these fanmade events :)

Most often we associate rain and storm with sadness, or just something negative in general. For Juvia, whenever she is really sad, it rains. However, in the photo, even though it is raining, she's still smiling...

Gray was the one who stopped the constant, continuous rain that is caused by Juvia's sadness. He's the one who made her feel happy and accepted for the first time. And when the guild disbanded and he went away, she was alone all over again. And because of that it started to rain again. During those times, she was really sad, depressed. And it continued to rain until Gray came back and stayed with her. But that was only for a year. Now that he's doing the 100YQ, he's away from her, again. But this time, she's learning how to live her life even if Gray isn't always by her side. And she's learning not to dwell too much into those negative feelings whenever he's away.

She's learning to be more independent. And that's why I think that the artwork symbolizes not only her accepting the rain, but also her accepting the sadness and loneliness that comes with it. That it's okay to have bad days sometimes and not feel well and cheerful all the time. Because even if it rains, even if he's not always there, even when she's sad, she can live. And she will live. Although Gray did promise Juvia that he will return from the quest, and of course, Juvia trusts his words..

Now imagine if this long character arc of Juvia ends with Gray actually dying protecting her, finally becoming what he deems as a worthy person, someone who's able to protect her at all cost, and her having to accept that she needs to continue living her life even when he's gone holy shit-

(jk about the last part cause people took it too seriously lmao)

#ft100YQ #fairy tail #gruvia #juvia lockser #gray fullbuster #gray x juvia #happy belated gruvia day btw

[breanime]

His Vows (with Bonus Boy)

Pure fluff ahead!

Billy Russo: Never in a million years did Billy ever think he’d be marrying someone--much less someone he actually loved. Affection, loyalty, vulnerability, those things that were required for love came hard to him. And yet, with you, he felt them. Looking at you made him feel incredibly strong and somehow especially weak, like he could take on the world, but only if you were by his side. The orphan in him wanted to spend thousands on your wedding, wanted to make a statement, a declaration for everyone to see. But the man in him knew better. The man in him--only recently discovered through your support--didn’t need to impress strangers, didn’t need the approval of his “betters”. He only needed you. So as Billy stood in front of the judge, Frank and Curtis at his side, your parents and best friend behind you, he knew this was right. You told him you didn’t want a big wedding, didn’t need the fanfare, and that alone was enough to make Billy, over 100 confirmed kills under his belt, fall to his knees in devotion. You only wanted him. He reached out then, taking your hand in his, and let the small audience around you fade into the background. “Despite what my guys at Anvil might say,” he began with a slight smirk, “I’m not really one for speeches,” he paused, hearing Frank’s scoff and Curtis’ chuckle, before going on, “so I’ll keep this brief. I never thought I’d have this. Growing up, my only goal was to become somebody, and even then, that was more about proving something to myself than anything else. But then I met you. And damn,” he shook his head, his smirk turning into a rare, genuine smile, “if you didn’t change everything. So thank you. Thank you for making me into the man I am today, and thank you for staying with me, working with me, being so patient with me. I love you, and I promise, from this day forward, I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re the happiest person on the planet,” he looked into your shining eyes, a sense of certainty going through him, an instinctual push that let him know that he was doing the right thing, “I love you, and I’m so happy to be your husband.”

Logan Delos: As soon as you and Logan had walked down the aisle, officially man and wife, Logan pulled you away. “Logan,” you laughed as he led you down a hall, “what are you doing?” “I’m having a private moment with my wife,” he answered, opening a door and pulling you into the spare room with him, “My wife. Mrs. Logan Delos,” he grinned down at you, “Fuck... How’d I get so lucky?” You laughed, and Logan reached over and held your face in his hands, staring down at the rest of his life. “I’m serious... How did I get so lucky? I mean... I’m a perpetual fuck up, the bane of my father’s existence and still, despite all of that... I got you,” he sighed sweetly, “I love you, princess. I’m gonna love you till the day I die, and maybe even after that too,” he smiled at your responding laugh, “Definitely after that. Fuck,” he let out a breath, laughing at the end of it, “I just... I just won at life, babe. I mean--look at you. Look at us! I always thought I’d spend the rest of my life in-between lovers, just waking up smothered in a sea of dicks and--” “--You realize we’re in a church, right?” You deadpanned. He laughed--Logan laughed a lot when he was with you--and he leaned down and kissed you, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you moaned against his lips. “Ah ah,” he teased, pulling back with a smirk, “you know we’re in a church, right? But seriously, babe... I never thought I’d be a one-woman guy. But you... You’re all that I want. You’re everything. You just... You just came into my life and changed everything. I was just running around, fucking around... and you just burst in and gave me... Purpose,” he sighed happily, “It wasn’t until I met you that I realized why I was put on this earth. I was born to be yours. I was born to marry you and love you and take care of you, and I will,” he leaned down and kissed you now, his kiss soft and slow, nothing but love in his touch, “I will.... So now, let’s go get drunk and dance so we can get out of here, and I can really show you how I feel.”

Jax Teller: “I promise to treat you as good as my leather,” Jax recited, that famous Teller smirk on his face. You laughed as the room erupted in cheers and applause, and Jax kissed you. He was smiling when he pulled back, those blue eyes of his twinkling with love for you and you alone. “I really lucked out when you agreed to be my Old Lady,” he said, his voice making the laughs die down, all eyes on him, “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life... especially with love,” he admitted, “I was stubborn and ignorant and lost, but even through all that... You were there. You kept me grounded, you showed me what it meant to be a man and an outlaw, taught me how to reconcile those parts of myself, and for that... I’ll always be grateful to you, darlin’. You understand me--all the parts of me. I don’t ever have to worry about how to tell you things, or keep things from you. You get the club life. You support me. Hell,” he chuckled, “even my Mom likes you, and we all know what a tough sell she is.” The crowd laughed, and when you glanced over at Gemma, she had tears in her eyes. She gave you a small, approving nod, and that, coupled with Jax’s words, had you crying too. Jax laughed, gently reaching out and wiping your tears away with his thumb, “I love you. And I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life. No matter what life throws at us, I know we can handle it. You and me... we’re meant to be together, baby. We’ve been through enough to know that that’s true,” he smiled down at you, a soft, special smile on his face that was just for you, “I know everyday isn’t gonna be perfect. There’s gonna be times when we argue, but I promise you--here and now, in front of everyone we love, that I will never go to bed angry at you. I promise to always do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe, and happy, and protected,” he leaned a little closer to you, every inch of him devoted to you and you alone, “I promise that I will be the husband and the man you deserve. And, most importantly... I promise to ride you as much as my Harley.” The room erupted in laughter again, and you were still laughing--and crying--when your husband kissed you again. You knew, from that kiss, that he would keep his promises to you. Every single one. 

Coco Cruz: “I’m not... I’m not fucking great at this,” Coco began, his hands in yours, his eyes darting around the room, “You know, public speaking and all that shit... But, uh, I think it’s important to, uh... To speak my truth, so...” He took a breath, and you squeezed his hands in yours, and that was enough to calm his raging heart. Coco looked at you, his wife, and felt a completeness that he’d never imagined he’d feel in his life. He swallowed, willing himself to speak. “Everybody knows that, when I became a Mayan, when I joined the MC, it changed my life. I was in a bad place, you know? Just came back from Iraq, my mind was all messed up. But the MC helped me get right, you know? And then there was you, and all of a sudden, I realized... I was made for you,” he leaned forward a bit, swaying as he spoke, his hair blocking everyone but you from his sight, “I used to think my life was just some sick fucking joke. Then, when I became a Mayan, I thought it was all about being a warrior, being a brother--and it is. But there’s more to it then that. I didn’t realize until I met you, but... I was born to be with you. From the second I saw you, I knew I needed you. I need you way more than you need me,” he smiled, a soft chuckle coming from his lips, “It’s true,” he turned, addressing his brothers, “You guys remember what it was like, right? When we first started dating?” He was met with low murmurs and laughter. “I was a fucking mess,” he laughed, “I kept asking Taza and Hank how to be a good boyfriend. And somehow Angel ended up giving me advice, which was basically just ‘man up’,” he chuckled, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you, “I just... I just need to say, you’re perfect. And I know you don’t like when I say that, but it’s true. You’re perfect to me. Even when you’re a fucking raging psychopath,” he chuckled at your fake incredulous look, “you’re perfect. You help me see past the bullshit, help me see that life don’t just gotta be some fucking struggle... You make me happy, man. So happy. And I just want to make you happy, too. I want to be a good husband to you, and I’m gonna try. And even on days when shit ain’t perfect, I will still love you with all my heart, so...” He took a breath, his heart pounding as he looked down at you, his perfect person, his wife. “... Let’s fucking party!” You laughed, wiping your happy tears as the room erupted in cheers and the sounds of beer bottles clanking together. This was the first day of the rest of your life, and you couldn’t be happier for it. 

Angel Reyes: Angel sighed, his eyes welling up with tears. “This,” he began, stopping when he heard the sound of his own voice breaking. He cleared his throat, “This is... This isn’t how I imagined it. Like, when I was a kid, I mean. Like, not to be soft and everything, but... I used to think about this day, you know? Me marrying some dope girl, being in love, my family here to celebrate. So I mean... I’m happy,” he nodded, “I’m so... Man, I’m so happy. I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy, just... I feel like... Like I was incomplete before this, you know? Like this woman... she’s the other part of my soul. And I’m so happy, it’s crazy. It’s scary. I keep waiting to mess it up, keep waiting to say or do something to bring it all crumbling down, but... it won’t. I trust that it won’t,” he nodded again, meaning the words he spoke with all of his heart. Angel reached out, his fingers--adorned with no other ring but his wedding ring--brushing against his mother’s altar, “Watching you and Pop... I always wanted a love like yours, and now I got it, and I’m so happy, Ma... I am, but,” he blinked, the first tear falling, “...but I wish you were here to see it. I wish you could have met her; I wish she could have met you. You would have loved her, Ma. Pops loves her, EZ loves her--I tell her about you, but... But it’s not the same,” he wiped his tear, shaking his head a bit, “I know you’re looking down at us from Heaven, I know you see us, see her,” he sniffled, swallowing his tears, “And that’s good enough for me,” he chuckled lowly, “I know you saw when we first met, saw me pulling that machismo crap, trying to impress her. You saw it ain’t work, either,” he laughed again, “I bet it was you that gave me the idea to bring her lunch at work, wasn’t it? Yeah... That has you written all over it, Ma,” he tapped her urn, smiling warmly at the memories, “I love her so much... And I know you would have loved her, too. I just... I want to be a good husband to her... a good father---someday--to our kids,” he took a breath, “So, Ma, please... Be with me now like you were with me when I proposed, give me that same courage and certainty you gave me before, yeah? Cause in a minute, I’m about to go out there in front of all our family and friends, and I’m about to commit myself to this woman for the rest of my life, and I... I need you with me, Mami,” satisfied, he kissed two fingers and pressed them against his mother’s urn, “Thank you.” He straightened up, fixing his hair and wiping his eyes again. Nodding to himself, he walked off, murmuring, “Good chat...” all the way to the altar. 

Miguel Galindo: “I am not a man who can easily admit he was wrong,” Miguel began, chuckling along with the rest of the church at his words, “Okay,” he admitted, shaking his head a bit, “I never admit I was wrong,” he paused, looking into your eyes, and he felt that familiar tug in his chest that he always felt when he looked at you--pure love. “But I was wrong. As many of you know, I was married once before. And I thought that I’d spend the rest of my life with that person. I was wrong,” he reached out for your hand, taking it in his, the warmth of it spreading through his entire body, all the way into his heart, “I was wrong, and I have never been happier to admit that. Because from that failure, came you. And I’m thankful for you every moment of every day,” he smiled, and your heart flipped in your chest at the sight of your soon-to-be-husband, “It isn’t easy to be with me, I know,” he nodded, giving you a silent acknowledgment, “But you... You just know me. You know how to read me, how to get me to talk when I don’t want to,” he laughed, “how to shut me up when I want to talk... I’m at your mercy. And what’s more,” he leaned forward a bit, “...I like it,” his smile widened at the sight of yours, “I remember the day that I realized that I needed you in my life for the long haul. It was when we flew to Iceland. You fell asleep against my shoulder. You were so tired... And I was too. I was frustrated and tired and irritated, but when I looked down at you... Mi amor, I felt nothing but gratefulness. Grateful to have you in my life, grateful to be able to have you by my side, to have you as mine. I’ve been blessed with many great things; a wonderful son, multiple successful businesses, a beautiful home... But it’s you, my love, you who makes me take a step back and really see how lucky I am. Because all of the money in the world would mean nothing if I didn’t have you to share it with,” he reached out and wiped your budding tears, smiling fondly at you, “I love you,” was all he said before he was kissing you, and the resulting applause blooming around you was nothing but white noise with Miguel’s lips against yours. He whispered something against your lips as the church applause your love, just a short, simple sentence that had you crying with love. “Thank you, mi amor, for proving me wrong.”

Nick Amaro: “Gil and Zara and I are so happy to welcome you into our family,” Nick said, giving a special smile to ring-bearer Gil and flower-girl Zara, both of whom grinned back at him, Zara flashing you a quick wave, “Gil keeps saying that I took too long, and Zara says I should have just married you months ago, and they’re both right,” he laughed, “But I wanted to give you this--the wedding, the reception--because I know this is important to you. It’s important to me, too,” he took a breath, looking down at your intertwined fingers before looking up again, smiling at your beautiful face, “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, my career, but you...” He sighed happily, “I know I can get in my own head a lot, but somehow, with you... It just seems like everything falls into place. I mean... That’s your power. You just make everything seem so easy. I see you with the kids, with your job, with me,” he chuckled, “And it’s like you instinctively know what to do, how to handle me. You make it look easy, and you can ask Olivia, dealing with me, isn’t easy.” He looked over at Olivia, her eyes shining with approval as she watched you together. “But you do. For good or bad, better or worse,” he took your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to the back of it, “I love you. Completely. Totally. And I’m going to continue on loving you until the day I die,” his smile reached his eyes, and they shimmered with love for you, “And probably even after that, to be honest. Every morning when I wake up and see your face, when I hear you and the kids laughing, when I see the joy you bring into our lives... It makes me feel so... secure,” he nodded, pleased at his choice of words, “And you know better than anyone how hard that is for me: to feel secure. You just... You make everything easier, more manageable... And everything I do from here on out is for you and the kids. I love you...Mrs. Amaro.”

Johnny Tuturro: Johnny couldn’t stop smiling. His mom was there, his Graceland family was there, and most importantly--the future Mrs. Johnny Tuturro was standing in front of him, just minutes away from becoming his wife. “Alright, alright, alright,” Johnny began, “Everybody shut up, I got somethin’ to say!” Jakes groaned in the crowd, “Jesus, Johnny, then just say it!” “Don’t rush him,” you called back, giving Jakes a friendly glare. Johnny laughed, kissing your cheek, “Thank you, baby,” he stood up straight, “Look, anyone with eyes can see that my girl is fly,” he started, making everyone laugh, “But for real, the moment I saw her, I knew she was different. I mean, she’s gorgeous, yeah, but she’s also smart, brave, a certified badass--sorry for cussin’, Ma--and the love of my life,” he smiled down at you, eyes soft, “I love you, I love you, I love you. And I am so happy to be making you my wife,” he turned pointing off into the audience at Briggs, “Which by the way--ha HA! I knew she wouldn’t go for you! Best bet I ever took, seeing which one of us was gonna get your number... though I ain’t gonna lie, you had me scared for a moment there when you started getting chummy with Charlie,” he chuckled, “But I was the lucky one. That was the start of the rest of my life, and I want to make every day we have together a perfect day. No matter what life throws at us, what happens at work, what we go through as people or as a couple, we’re always gonna have each other’s backs. Me and you,” he went on, “We were meant to be, baby. Fated. And baby, I promise you, I will be the best husband I can be. Because that’s what you deserve. And as happy as I am to be here with you right now, in front of all of our friends and families... Man, I can’t wait to get out of here and just be with you,” he grinned, and you could see the dirty promise behind those sweet words, “I’m crazy about you, baby girl, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” he leaned in, kissing you, his next words whispered, so only you could hear him, “can’t wait to have married sex in the limo, either...” 

Rio: When you woke up, the late morning sun painting your body in its light, the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was Rio’s eyes. They were soft and warm, that deep brown peering down at you and making you feel like the most beloved person on the planet. Which, of course, you were. “So?” He asked, caressing the side of your face with two of those long, sinewy fingers. “So what?” You asked, already in a daze from the softness of his voice and the sweet smile on his face. “So what do you think? How’d the first night of matrimony go? You ready to give back my dowry yet? Sell me back to my father?” You laughed, cuddling closer to him. “Nah, I think I’ll keep you. I mean, you did come with a cow and two chickens, so I guess you’re worth it.” He wrapped his arms around you, and you closed your eyes, melting into his touch. “I love you,” he said, his voice muffled as he buried his face in the crown of your head. “Love you, too,” you said back, rubbing his back. “Hey,” he pulled back a bit, looking down at you, “Yesterday was perfect,” he began, “The wedding, the reception... I ain’t never seen Marcus so excited to talk as he was when he gave his speech.” “Oh, don’t remind me,” you sighed, smiling at the memory, “I cried so hard; it was such a good speech.” “Yeah,” he nodded, kissing your forehead, “He was so proud to be able to tell you how much he loves you,” Rio sighed, “but, here’s the thing, mama... There was one thing about yesterday that I wish I could change.” You frowned, “What?” “I kinda wish we would’ve done vows,” he admitted. “Really?” You asked, eyes wide. You and Rio had decided early on not to have vows, you’d both agreed that it was so private, you didn’t want to make a spectacle out of your love. But hearing him say that he’d wished he’d given you his vows had your heart pounding. He nodded, “Yeah. So... I was thinkin’... Maybe I could say my vows now. I mean, I ain’t write nothing down or anything, but I just wanted to say... I love you. I love what you’ve done to me, to Marcus... I love the way you brighten up my life, how you accepted my son with open arms, how you work so well with me, the way you inspire me, the way you make me want to flip my game. I love how I can tell you everything, how I never have to hide any parts of myself with you,” he titled your chin up, smiling down at you, “I love having you as my wife. I love you, Mrs. Rivera.” He kissed you then, and you kissed him back, sighing against his lips, pressing yourself against him. “So,” he grinned, “How was that? Decent vows?” You laughed, kissing his nose, “Perfect.”

Bonus Boy

Tommy Shelby: “I have something I want to say,” Tommy announced. Everyone in the church grew silent, and you couldn’t help but notice the small smile on Jeremiah’s face as he turned to you. Every eye was on you, and you turned to Tommy, curious as to what he was about to say. “I want it known,” he started, his voice booming through the church, “That this is the last time I’m ever getting married, because this is the woman I was always meant to be with,” he looked over at you, those brilliant blue eyes piercing right through your soul, “Me whole life, I’ve spent planning, thinking, rethinking. Every move I’ve made as a businessman has been a calculated one, but with you,” he said, his focus on you and you alone, “It’s all instinct. I don’t have to overthink or second guess with you, because I can feel that you’re what’s right. You’re what’s been missing. And now that I have you... Well, there’s peace. Peace in me head and me heart that I thought had left for good. And I have you to thank for that. So now, I want to make you a promise, and I want to make it in front of all of our family and friends, because if nothing else, I know Aunt Pol, Jeremiah, and our Ada will make sure I keep it,” he gave you a small smile, and just that one gesture was enough to have you nearly swooning, “So here it is. I promise, from this moment, till the day I die, to always love, honor, and respect you. I will never lie to you, I will never leave you. I am yours,” he promised, “Every part of me; even the parts I don’t like, belong to you. And everyone,” his voice got a bit louder, and he turned a bit, addressing the crowd, “will know that you are Mrs. Tommy Shelby, and they will treat you accordingly.” You smiled; his words were as much an announcement as a threat. “Now, Jeremiah,” he said, a friendly note coming back into his voice, “Let’s get on with this ceremony, eh? I want to take my bride to London.” 

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#bre's boys preference #Bre's Boys #billy russo x reader #logan delos x reader #jax teller x reader #coco cruz x reader #angel reyes x reader #miguel galindo x reader #nick amaro x reader #johnny tuturro x reader #rio x reader #tommy shelby x reader

[moralesispunk]

Old Guys Rule

Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Summary: With a birthday coming up, Frankie's insecurities about the age gap in your relationship start to get the better of him

Warnings: legal age gap relationship, insecurities about said age gap, mentions of children but no mentions of how they came to be in the relationship

I found this hat in a shop in Cornwall and I had to write this!

"Are you wanting to do anything on your birthday? I was thinking about booking a table down at that Italians you like and asking your Mom to watch the girls but if you have plans with the guys I can find a different day?" you looked over your shoulder at Frankie from where you had been scrolling through the booking page of the restaurant.

"Hmm? No, dinner sounds fine," Frankie answered, his head not lifting up from his phone as his face stayed firmly unbothered.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to..." you trailed off as you turned back to the laptop that was resting on the kitchen counter, not convinced by Frankie's response.

"What?" you could tell that his head had whipped up to look at yours now you had turned around, "No, dinner sounds good, yes. Thank you."

You didn't answer, instead scrolling up and down on the page for a minute as you tried not to take his response too personally. It had been a while since you and Frankie were able to go out for dinner just the two of you, finding it more difficult to get some alone time since the new baby came along and you now had the two girls, so you thought he would like the idea of a romantic dinner alone.

You could hear Frankie's footsteps pad across the kitchen floor until he was leaning against the counter next to you. Avoiding his gaze as he crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking the way his ankles were now crossed over one another, you filled in the booking information before closing the laptop. Without looking at him you turned in the chair to stand but Frankie's hand fell on your wrist stopping you.

"Hey," his voice was soft, "I do want to go out for dinner with you and thank you for booking the place that I like, I just-." Frankie sighed and let you wrist go before dragging his hand down his face as he let his eyes drop to the floor, "I'm just not looking forward to this birthday. I'm in my late forties now!"

"I think you're still mid-forties."

"So much better," he rolled his eyes.

"So you're not looking forward to your birthday because... you're going to be a year older? Forty-six years and thats you just realising how birthdays work?"

"It's not funny."

"I'm not laughing, I'm wondering why that's upsetting you. Whether or not you're looking forward to it you can't stop it."

"You'll make fun of me if I tell you why," his foot was swinging out in front of him before crossing it back over the other again.

"Maybe, but we've been married for six years so I think I'm allowed to make fun of you."

A smile was tugging at the corner of Frankie's lips when he finally looked up to you, his head leaning slightly to the side as he met your eyes. Frankie loved everything about you but he especially loved how relaxed you made him feel. Even though he wasn't in a good mood when you started talking birthday plans, instead of giving in to it you pulled him back from it. You had done it ever since you met him. Frankie could tell you, and has told you, his deepest, darkest secrets and fears and you don't shy away. You don't pull him further into the darkness; you just listen and make him feel comfortable until you help him out the other side.

"I know there isn't a bigger gap between us now that there had been when we first started dating because thats not possible but it just feels bigger now? Like, you're still able to keep up with Sofia when she runs rings around us even after you've been up all night with the baby. You don't have to hold the menu back to read it more clearly when we got out for dinner. You don't have to think about having a sore back for a week if we fall asleep on the couch when watching a movie. You don't even fall asleep when watching movies at eight at night but somehow I do!"

You let his breathing settle a little before you pulled him to stand between your legs, resting your hands on his chest.

"Is it about all these small things or is there something bigger to it?"

You tilted your head to catch his gaze as Frankie's eyes fell to the floor again, stopping him with two fingers under his chin and lifting his eyes to meet yours.

"I just worry that you don't want to be with an old guy like me," he sighed, his hands resting on your thighs.

"I'll have you know that I love that your an old guy. I fall more in love with you every day as you get older. I love that you run around enough with Sofia until you're tired because you don't want to stop. I think you're cute when you have to squint at the menu because you're too stubborn to get glasses, even though I think you would look very handsome in them. And I like giving you back massages when it gets sore because its just an excuse to get my hands on your very sexy, super hot, handsome DILF self."

Frankie barked a laugh, his forehead falling against yours as his hands reached up to cup your face.

"I love you so much, you know that."

"I do, and I love you."

His lips found yours, pressing a soft kiss to them. Just as his mouth opened to push his tongue into yours the sound of tiny footsteps running into the kitchen pulled you both away.

"Mama, Papa!" the voice cheered as Frankie leaned down to swing Sofia up, groaning as he did so.

None of what you had said to Frankie was a lie. You truly did love him more and more every day.

As time went on it had been kind to Frankie. He had fought off his demons for the most part, nightmares only sneaking in every so often, and it showed. He carried a lightness with him, not being weighed down by his past anymore. His eyes crinkle at the side when he smiles, which he does more now than ever. His face has filled out a little more in a healthy way. His jaw is also covered in a patchy beard that now has spots of grey that you love the most even if Frankie doesn't believe you.

❀❀❀

You let Frankie lie in on the morning of his birthday, getting the girls up and ready so you could have a lazy breakfast together before you dropped them at their Gran's while you and Frankie go out for dinner. After sorting out a breakfast, having to start again after Sofia wanted to help and ended up spilling the batter over the countertop instead of in the pan, you carried it upstairs with the girls in tow.

Frankie was already waking up as you opened the door, his face lighting up with a wide grin when he spotted you balancing the baby in one arm and carefully carrying the tray in the other as Sofia carried bags of birthday presents.

"Happy birthday," you and Sofia chimed with a small gurgle coming from your side.

"My beautiful girls, thank you!"

Frankie lifted Sofia onto the bed with the presents, settling her into his side, before taking the tray of pancakes from your hands. Once it was safe on his lap he lifted his head, catching your lips in a kiss, before you sat across from him.

You managed to get through breakfast before Sofia had spoke about opening the presents again and once the tray was placed on the bedside table you got to opening the gifts. With baby girl back asleep and placed on Frankie's chest, Sofia pulled the paper off them more so than Frankie, handing him the opened presents as he thanked you all. Once all the presents that were on the bed were opened you leaned across and pulled another from your bedside.

"One more," you smiled knowingly and Frankie narrowed his eyes at you as you handed him the small bag.

He snaked his arm from around Sofia, holding baby girl close to his chest as he put his hand inside the bag and pulled out a hat.

"Oh a new hat, thanks babe I love-" he stopped when he read the front, looking at you with a grin on his face.

"What does it say?!" Sofia asked, pushing her head in front of her Dad's to see the cap he was holding.

"It says Old Guys Rule!" you exclaimed.

"Because Dad is old," Sofia flung her head back in a fake laugh that bellowed around the room.

"Is that right?" Frankie tickled her sides until she was giggling for real and her head was lying next to her sleeping sister's on Frankie's chest.

"Dad is old, but he's still cool isn't he?" you reached across and pulled Sofia onto your lap as she nodded.

"How does it look?" Frankie pulled it onto his head, a little wonky as he was only working with one hand with the other resting on the tiny body on his chest.

You and Sofia both put your thumbs up and you laughed.

"Four out of four thumbs up!"

"Thanks babe," he chuckled, lifting his hand to settle the cap a little tighter on his head.

"You're welcome, you look even more handsome today. Forty-six suits you," you winked and he smiled.

Yes, Frankie was getting older but he was becoming happier and healthier and you were falling more in love with him every single day.

//

Permanent tag// @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @blackmarketmummy @bison-writes @dihra-vesa @queridopascal @sfr99 @rosiefridayrogersunday

#frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales x you #frankie catfish morales x reader #headcannon #oneshot #fic #fanfic

[ilyrafe]

𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒚 ✧ 𝒄𝒉 𝑽

pairing: charles brandon x duchess!reader

warnings: angst, a brief panic attack, forced kiss.

word count: 3,2k

taglist: @runawayolives​​ @kmuir1​​ @marytudorbrandon​​ @lharrietg​​ @shittingdicknipple​​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​​ @mis-lil-red​ @amberangel112​​ @ohmygoodie @itmejado​​ @radaofrivia​​ @scarlets-widow​​ @ragamuffin285​​​ @thereisa8ella​​​ @​​titty-teetee @dropletsofkaisoo​

a/n: shit goes down from now on just saying..........

redamancy masterlist | main masterlist

his guilt and conscience do not allow him to fall asleep and rest in his bed. if he wants to be civil and reciprocally, he needs to recognize when he is in the wrong and apologize. she didn’t do anything wrong, he shouldn’t have set such high expectations.

he puts on his robe and goes to the duchess’s chambers. strangely, he thinks it is a good thing that her room is far from his, just so he has time to think of the right words. it’s not the first time he’s been intimidated in her presence, and stuttering in front of her seems pathetic.

he takes a deep breath and knocks three times on the door. to his surprise, beatrice answers the door. 

“your grace.” she bows to the duke.

as he steps into her room, he smells roses and cinnamon, a different combination of scents, but just as pleasant. he can’t help but look into the duchess’s main environment, which is lit by candles in certain places. there are books everywhere and flowers from the garden that he recognizes. her dressing table has few items, just a small jewelry box, a brush, and a few hairpins, but her desk has lots of papers and a small leather-bound notebook that looks like a diary. being the curious creature he is, he’s already starting to wonder if she writes about him.

“charles?” y/n’s voice calls out to him, and she looks a little confused as to why he’s in her room in his nightwear.

she runs to put on her robe, even though charles saw her more exposed than usual. sensing her presence is no longer needed, beatrice excuses herself and leaves the duke and the duchess alone. charles mentally thanks the young woman as she leaves, because privacy is what he wants the most right now.

“i owe you an apology.” he starts. “i admit i should not have been rude to you at dinner, i hope you will forgive me. it will not happen again.”

once again, she can hear the sincerity in his voice. perhaps the image she has of charles is twisted. what if she is wrong about him?

“i owe you an apology, too.” she admits.

“what for?”

“for the way i have been treating, or mistreating you these past months.”

seeing her in a position of vulnerability is nearly shocking. it’s not even that much exposure from her, but charles sees her as a tough person, and hearing her words comforts him, because just like her, he feels sincerity and honesty in her apology. more than anyone else, he knows how hard it is to admit when you are in the wrong.

“oh, do not worry. you have your reasons and i understand.”

“even so, i shouldn’t have been such a monster to you.”

“it is all in the past.”

a small smile appears on her lips. apparently a white flag indicating a truce had been raised. charles says goodbye and goes back to his room, no longer feeling the pain in his back as he is always tense in the presence of y/n. his shoulders are relaxed as is his posture. with a smile on his face, charles goes back to his bed and for the first time since he got married, he sleeps peacefully.

(...)

a few weeks have passed, the eighteenth birthday of king henry’s new wife, katherine howard, approaches. the friendship between y/n and charles just blossoms, which makes the duke happier. conversations over dinner gradually linger, and making her laugh is almost a duty he gives to himself. it’s the most pleasant sound, and he finds it adorable when she covers her mouth when she laughs a little louder than usual.

they have a quite a lot in common. contrary to what she assumed, charles is far from arrogant. in fact, he doesn’t seem so fond of so many formalities. the way he talks about his parents, who are sadly deceased, is a little disheartening. he seems to need approval from others constantly, something she can relate to.

little by little, y/n manages to humanize in her own head the man behind the broad, strong body that charles has. there’s a sweetness in his blue eyes that she has been allowing herself to notice.

it’s difficult to get more information about her, though. y/n is very reserved and still prefers to spend most of her time by herself, which bothers him a little, and he still notices a little sadness in her eyes. he’s almost positive that something still disturbs her and he tries to make her feel comfortable enough to open up, but all of his attempts have failed.

give time to time, he keeps reminding himself.

(...)

the birthday party is grand, something the court and guests await. king henry always goes out of his way to show off to his subjects. the royal castle is a dream of gold, the most expensive flowers are everywhere, only the best food is being served, and the guests wear their most sophisticated attire. the king is ecstatic over his sixth wife, he will never spare any effort to make her happy.

the carriages keep arriving and more and more people enter the king’s castle. in one of them is charles and y/n, and both are as well dressed as the others in the royal court. y/n’s dress is stunning, and it’s completely different from the ones she’s ever worn in public. its rich emerald tone compliments her entirely, and the pearls in her hair soften her youthful appearance. charles is as well groomed as she is, but he opted for a monochromatic black attire, which makes him look even more imposing. regardless, they look complementary to each other.

“do not be surprised if male attention is focused on you.” he comments with a subtle laugh.

her puzzled expression cheers him a bit. he knows what is said about him and his wife, both the nasty comments and the most lustful ones.

he helps her down from the carriage and, with arms entwined, they enter the royal castle. as they are announced, all eyes turn to the couple. the king, upon seeing his longtime friend, goes to meet him with a proud smile on his face. the duchess’s distaste for the king is clear, but she knows how to hide it, for the sake of etiquette. after greeting each other briefly, charles and y/n follow to the main table, where the king is reunited with his wife.

“oh, you must be y/n!” the queen cheerfully says, properly ditching said etiquette. “your dress is marvelous!”

“thank you, your majesty.” y/n smiles.

the bubbly nature of the queen is pleasant; even charles thinks she’s quite funny with her antics. the age gap between her and the king is quite alarming, but she seems to be what holds him down a bit.

the music is loud, and the guests are all over the ballroom, either dancing or talking. for some reason, y/n feels unquiet. maybe it’s the heat, the loud noises or the constant glares she gets from other women. they don’t even try to hide when they’re obviously gossiping about her. she’s not entirely aware of her ‘fame’, but she knows she’s the subject of many conversations.

enthusiastically, the king taps his cup with silverware, drawing the attention of all the guests.

“first of all, i want to thank you all for coming to my beloved wife’s birthday, your majesty, the queen.” he says and hears applause for the sweet queen katherine. “happy birthday, my love. may the next few years of your life be as beautiful as you are.”

katherine blows her husband a kiss and he raises his wineglass to the guests. everyone raises their glasses and takes a sip, celebrating the queen’s life.

“i wonder how long this marriage is going to last…” charles comments under his breath, only y/n is able to hear, and she chuckles in response.

“i give it a year.”

they exchange a look, and when the music starts to play again, a few of the guests begin to dance in pairs.

“would you grant me a dance?” he asks.

as she looks around, she sees that her attention is focused on the king and queen. a dance won’t do any harm, she thinks.

“of course.”

he takes her to the center of the room by her hand, and soon they stand opposite each other to dance. if his memory serves him, he’s never been this close to her, and he takes this moment as an opportunity to really get a closer look, maybe he notices a new detail on her beautiful face? if he could, he’d spend hours memorizing every detail of y/n, because she’s so stunning, and with every observation she makes—of any subject—she becomes the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

y/n, however, is fighting all of her instincts. she doesn’t quite allow herself to look at charles. even though they are in a peaceful territory, he’s still the man who has been with her friends, he’s still the man who accepted her father’s offer to marry her in exchange for a mere position at the court. she’s certainly noticed his looks, and can’t deny that he isn’t as awful as she made herself to believe, and now she knows he’s an excellent dancer.

he guides her so masterfully and firmly, she feels safe, even though she isn’t very fond of dancing. regardless, he makes it feel pleasant. his eyes doesn’t leave hers for a second, but she looks around every now and then.

that’s when she sees a very familiar face, amidst all these people. one she would recognize anywhere, but the spin of the dance makes her lose sight of the person.

“is everything alright?” charles asks.

“yes…” she replies, toneless.

the dance continues, faster now. small heels mark the final part of the dance, and the noise of several shoes on the floor makes her uncomfortable. who is that person? the rhythm of the music picks up, people are talking loudly, the dance gets more energetic, and all she wants is to recognize that face. it can’t be.

she keeps searching for that face, but there are so many people in that ballroom, it’s pointless. the dance is making her feel a bit nauseous, she even contemplates leaving charles on the dance floor by himself, but when he bows down to her, she realizes the dance is finally over.

finally!

when they return to the main table, henry calls them to introduce them to the duchess of jämtland. even from afar, y/n can see how different the duchess is. pale complexion, light, straight and fine hair, bright blue eyes. she can’t help but compare herself to her. beside the duchess is her husband.

james.

the face she had seen. it’s him.

“charles and y/n, i would like to introduce you to my friends from sweden, your grace annika and her husband, james.” king henry says.

with each step she takes, y/n’s body freezes more and more, her heart beats faster and faster, and her breathing gets shorter and shorter. james is not at all shocked, more like afraid. only he knows the reason for the terror on y/n’s face at that moment, as much as she tries to hide it, he knows her better than anyone else in that room. she cannot move a single finger to greet the duchess and her husband.

“it’s a pleasure to meet you, your grace.” charles says to annika and kisses the back of her hand.

when he turns his attention to james, y/n feels like fainting. as if her two worlds are about to collide.

“this is my longtime friend, charles, the duke of suffolk and his wife, y/n, his duchess.” henry says.

“it is an honor to meet you, your grace.” james says, repeating the same gesture as charles, but now with the woman he once promised to love forever.

y/n is unable to move throughout the entire greeting process, and the situation only gets worse when she notices the annika’s subtle bump, which she doesn’t seem to hide that she is pregnant, as she takes her belly in with her hands.

“they are here to visit my kingdom and james is possibly going to war with us. sweden is our partner against france.” henry informs charles, completely unaware of the history between james and y/n.

“my apologies,” y/n speaks, trying to regain herself. “i’m not-”

“would your grace grant me a dance?” james interrupts.

he looks at charles with a silent request, and the duke looks at his wife.

“she doesn’t require my permission.” charles explains.

“ah, of course! a dance! charles, take annika to dance, james, you take y/n to dance. let’s all dance!” the king shouts, clearly a little inebriated.

everyone gathers in the center of the room and starts dancing.  y/n’s hands are shaky and a bit sweaty, and james tries to soothe her with his gaze. he tries to apologize, but knows she will never forgive him. after everything that happened between them… it’s almost impossible to believe it.

“i can explain.” he mumbles.

“don’t.” she simply says.

her odd behavior hasn’t gone unnoticed, though. charles has never seen her so pale before, almost as if she’d seen a ghost. he glances at them, and he knows she’s on the verge of tears. he isn’t dumb — it takes charles less than a few minutes to realize that james is the man y/n claimed to love, months ago. the way they’re looking at each other is more than enough proof.

“y/n, please.”

“she is with child.” y/n’s voice trembles with her own affirmation.

james is heartbroken, more than he was when they saw each other for the last time, over a year ago.

“we can still be together.”

his speech outrages her, and she is forced to withdraw. she runs as fast as she can to the large and vast garden of the castle, and hopes that no one will find her, but charles and james have gone after her, and a small commotion is caused in the hall, which is quickly contained. the poor swedish duchess is left confused.

she feels that the walls are getting tighter and tighter, or maybe it’s the dress that is too tight on her body that doesn’t let her breathe.

breathe.

breathe, y/n.

only when she manages to get out of the castle and into the huge garden is it possible to hear the silence and breathe fresh air, no matter how cold it is. it’s behind a big tree that she finally stops running. her chest is tight, beating faster than ever. it’s all so disappointing and confusing, she just wants it to be over.

she thought she had experienced pain before, but now it’s different. a mixture of hatred and disappointment washes over her like a wave, and she reduces herself to tears. the more she thinks about it, more tears roll down her face and her heart feels tighter.

she hears footsteps approaching, and to her surprise, james finds her. he looks just as haunted as she is, and he’s panting from running so fast to find her.

“my love-”

“no!” she protests. “you betrayed me, james! how could you?!”

“y/n, please…”

“how dare you?!” she inquires through her teeth, not even able to hide her anger. “how dare you come to me with a wife? with a pregnant wife?!”

“you must listen to me, y/n.” he says as he grabs her by her shoulders and forcing her to look at his eyes. “i could not get to you if i did not marry someone... important. i did this for you, my love.”

he pulls her against him and kisses her forcefully, but y/n manages to punch him in the chest and break free of his embrace. she pushes him away and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand harshly.

“don’t you dare touch me.” she barks through gritted teeth, her voice is full of rage. “you went to bed with her for me? how fucking stupid do you think i am, james? don’t you know me at all?!”

unbeknownst to them, charles is near, watching the fight, prepared to attack him if need be, but from what he sees, y/n is able to fend for herself. there’s no doubt he is the man she told him about, and charles can’t deny his jealousy, not even to himself. he’s never seen y/n so heartbroken before, and all of his instincts are telling him to intervene.

“i still love you!” james claims desperately.

“i suggest you leave her alone.” charles says with the calmest tone to his voice.

y/n is only able to breathe when she sees the duke, because he brings her a sensation of security. she’s even able to breathe a little better.

“who do you think you are to talk to me with this tone?” james challenges. “i couldn’t care less if you are her husband, your grace,” he says with a mocking tone. “we all know this is an arrangement. she loves me.”

“i am trying to be peaceful for her sake, but if you insist on testing me, i’ll lose my composure and end you.” the duke threatens, and his tone is as cold as winter nights.

both men are now face to face, close to each other, and the possibility of the fight becoming physical makes her desperate, as the last thing she wants is a scandal.

“both of you, stop! now!” she exclaims as she pushes the two tall, strong men apart. she knows james, and he can certainly be scary. he’s a tall, built man with fighting skills, but it seems that charles is his elevated match. “i will not tolerate a scene.”

“he started it!” james barks.

“stop it!” y/n protests. she regains a bit of control over herself and wipes her tears with the back of her hands. “leave,” she pleads. “we have nothing else to talk about.”

“y/n-”

“james, please! i do not want to see you ever again.”

outraged, james does as she says and leaves, but not before pushing charles with his shoulder on his way out.

“did he hurt you?” charles asks as he cups her face in his hands. the scary look is no longer on his face, as he is now concerned. her teary eyes break him completely. she looks so broken and hopeless.

yes. deeply.

“please, i must go home.” she begs and sniffles, never before having felt so small. “please, i am begging you.”

“yes, absolutely.”

charles takes her in his arms and soothes her before they leave. for the first time, they’re in each other’s arms, and both of them feel complete somehow. in this very moment, charles represents the security she needs, and she is the equivalent of what is missing in his life. the comfort she finds in his embrace is something she didn’t even know could be real. not even in james’ arms she felt such care.

did james care for her at all?

the most heartbreaking thing is that she can feel her love for james turning into absolute hatred and it is terrifying.

“i am here for you, y/n.” charles whispers before placing a kiss on the top of her head.

---

feedback is always appreciated! 

#my writings #henry cavill #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfic #the tudors #charles brandon #charles brandon x you #charles brandon x reader #charles brandon fanfic

[sukirichi]

Like, what happens to Mia? How does Gojo end up picking us? Naoya? How about Naoya? 😭😭😭🙏🏼😔

Omggg if you’re not going to continue reckless, can you please please please tell us how it ends? 😭😭😭 I don’t think I can bear living not knowing how it ends 😭 please? 😔😢🙏🏼😭

okay well here’s how it was gonna go, pls keep in mind my storytelling in asks and in writing are diff so this might be explained crappily HAHAHAHA but basically in reckless...

gojo gets shot in the head by his abusive dad bcos he finally stood up against him, but that backfired. his father is really adamant on control, and gojo loses his memories at the same time y/n gave birth. she decided to keep the baby after deciding that she wants a family after all, but when gojo woke up with mixed and lost memories, he only remembers mia and everything after her accident was gone. gojo becomes distorted and even becomes harsh sometimes, especially when y/n said they had a baby and she was his friend, bcos gojo’s mindset was from way back to six years ago, where he had lots of issues with his family and mia’s that he was wary who to trust.

so,,, they didn’t want gojo to hurt y/n bcos he’s such in an emotional mess that he has no control of himself. eventually, y/n decides to stay away but the baby is adopted by gojo and mia, who gets married for the sake of business and gojo’s current situation. truthfully, mia doesn’t want to marry him bcos it would hurt y/n and she’s not that awful. mia and y/n become friends after realizing they’re pretty similar and actually find genuine friendship with one another. she doesn’t have a choice tho and gojo, mia, along with gojo’s mom who divorced her husband for his abuse move to the states where they raised y/n and gojo’s daughter, sayori, leaving y/n all alone in tokyo who then becomes vice president of kamo enterprises. basically, it shows the repeated history of y/n’s father choosing to hide her from her real parents, and she begins to understand why he did that bcos she also has not really met her own daughter. y/n knows mia and gojo could take care of sayori better than she could, especially with the fact that gojo’s memories are mixed and transfixed on the timeline of him dating mia, mia giving birth to sayori, then them getting married. y/n is not present at all in his memories. gojo thinks he was the one in a car accident, not mia.

sayori is about four years old when gojo decides to come back to tokyo. now that he’s disowned and his mother has also left, gojo becomes a successful model in the states. he comes home bcos he remembers geto and wants to start their own agency (gojo as a model, geto as the photographer.) mia is wary at first for fear gojo might remember everything. she’s not being selfish; the doctors warned that anything that could potentially trigger gojo’s memories that his subconscious has erased could be detrimental to him. mia tries to hold it off but gojo insists, so the gojo/yamazaki family go back and that’s where gojo meets y/n, who he first thought was geto’s new wife.

in the reckless fanart, geto’s photo is like this.

geto’s ring is silver - it’s his dead wife’s ring. the hand caressing him is gold - it’s y/n wearing the ring of gojo’s mother, who by then has already apologized before they all left.

geto and y/n become best friends on the course of four years. missing her daughter, y/n becomes attached to mei (geto’s daughter) and acts more like a mom than an aunt. geto basks in this faux family they’ve built, though he makes sure mei is not too dependent or expecting that y/n would be her mom. he falls in love with y/n and he notices how after gojo left, she becomes softer and a lot sweeter. all the anger and hatred disappeared, all thanks to y/n finding peace with her new life and making up with her mother, Valeria, who once overdosed on drugs after it was exposed to the public that Y/N is a child she abandoned. y/n saved Valeria by rushing her to the hospital, which is also the same time that Y/N saw gojo being wheeled in the emergency room with a bullet in his head.

now that gojo is back, he can’t help but notice that y/n is avoiding him. she feels familiar but he plays it off over her being a close friend and possible lover of geto. meanwhile, y/n’s dedication to pretending he doesn’t exist breaks slowly when she sees sayori, a beautiful little girl who’s growing up, call mia as her “mommy.” it hurts her that she missed her first words, first steps, or that she’s being excluded in the family that is truly hers, but everyone is happy and doing great that she chooses to be the only who isn’t for the sake of everyone else.

in ch2, gojo goes to a carnival/amusement park and takes a polaroid photo with y/n. he finds them in one of the stuff he left behind in the penthouse he used to live in; shocked bcos y/n had been adamant they never met before. that’s when he begins to confront her on who she really is what they really used to be. he feels guilty that he can’t remember, but most of all, gojo is torn inside that y/n had been all alone the whole time when he promised he would be there.

its complicated for them since gojo x mia are already married, and sayori got her mom’s stubborness so its difficult for her to believe someone she never met before is her real mom and mia is...well, mia. mia actually helps sayori accept that she is not the real mom, apologizing to the child for lying to them and it ends up with sayori running away and getting lost for a few hours. sayori is scared since tokyo is alien to her and she doesn’t speak japanese, but when y/n finds her, she comes running to her arms and that is when she begins to soften up around her real mom.

this is where the slowburn with gojo and y/n begins. for them, getting to know each other once more on a clean slate is both refreshing yet scary, especially since one has erased the past in their mind and the other is desperately trying to forget it. the thing about the mia x gojo as a married couple and parents is that gojo deep down feels he does not love mia that way. he can’t explain why there’s just something missing or confusing in his life. he loves mia out of respect and friendship, but he would never admit that he is not in love with his wife. however, he plays it over the fact that its “just the broken memories” and lies to himself that he is very much in love with her. when he meets y/n again, however, it makes sense. he does love y/n and him forgetting her was a defense mechanism of his system to erase the most painful times of his life, and that included his guilt for hurting y/n with the abuse of his parents who controlled the way he acted around her. as for mia, she also does not love gojo and she probably never did, but for the sake of his well being and for sayori’s future (which was entrusted to her by y/n) she stayed with him. now though, mia knows its time to let go.

geto...it is not easy for geto. he loves y/n so much because of her tenacity and kindness, but he also loves her enough to know she is happier with someone else. to him, he’s content knowing that she felt less lonely when he was around and that he helped make her smile. in the end, geto has closure with y/n who apologizes for not returning his feelings.

NAOYAAAAA though...ofc i gave him a good ending 💕 after he was brutally rejected by Mia, y/n cheers him up by setting Naoya up with a law professor around his age, who is Ayame. Ayame is supposed to be named Suki tbh 😋 but I thought the self insert is a little too much so I changed it to Ayame. Ayame is pretty funny and even respects that Naoya is uncomfortable on the first date, telling him that it doesn’t have to be that kind of date and she doesn’t expect anything from him. Ayame’s bubbly yet blunt nature is a breath of fresh air from Mia’s secretive and perfectionist nature and the two become good friends. Naoya and Ayame end up hanging out a lot bcos “thats what friends do” but it doesn’t take long before they go out together. And ofc, Naoya is a little ashamed that Ayame was the first to confess and she beat him to it, but they get married and are happy nonetheless 💕 Mia ends up as a successful doctor who helps her family with the business, divorces Gojo, but she still has no plans to marry and is perfectly happy and content to focus on her career.

Eventually, Gojo and Y/N get married once everything is sorted out. Gojo becomes a well known model in Tokyo as well, and Gojo Group is absorbed by Y/N herself after proving Gojo’s father guilty of attempted murder. Gojo doesn’t want anything more to do with the corporate world though, but Y/N stays and kicks ass as a vice president to all the merged companies.

Y/N and Valeria also makes up after Valeria is indebted to Y/N who saved her life, and Valeria’s parents become more supportive and start to see Valeria more as a person than a child to inherit the business. Albeit being in her 40s, Valeria enjoys the youth she lost only now, but also enjoys being the grandmother to Sayori. Its a little awkward between Valeria and Y/N after everything that happened, but they’re trying and are even dubbed as the iconic motherly duo who is unbeatable in their games.

Gojo’s father is thrown into prison, and his main victim, his own wife, also shows recovery from the years of abuse. Although her obsessive control with Gojo and his sister (the eldest Gojo child) was not right, his mom was left with no choice but to keep them on close watch and control their lives because she was trying to keep them safe from their father’s wrath. In the end, Gojo’s mom makes up by being a better mother, and Gojo and his sister forgives her while also apologizing that both of them left home when they knew their mom always shouldered the abuse to protect her kids.

Overall, its a happy ending for most of the characters! the last chapter is Sayori’s wedding to Naoya and Ayame’s son, Naori, who is a few years younger than his bride. Gojo is grumbling to Y/N about how his little girl is all grown up now, and that their son, Shinichiro, who is 18 in that timeline is also maturing and would be leaving the nest soon. Y/N thinks its adorable and asks Gojo to just enjoy the union because its only one of the many great memories they would still have to make.

That’s how it would end! Gojo Best Dad and Gojo DILF. Everyone is happy!

Basically the theme of Reckless is that sometimes the most unexpected things we do out of character can end up as one of the greatest things to ever happen, which in their case was the suprise baby. They went through a lot and it has a lot of psychological themes, along with heavy family drama, but overall I wanted the series to be a heartwarming one by the end. I really would’ve loved to see it all happen but I am also happy to share it to you guys in this way.

So yeah, happy reading and thanks so much for supporting Reckless !! I was also thinking of doing maybe like a bonus chapter where the characters pretend it was all a movie and they’re actors that you can talk to, but that didn’t happen so :// anyways I hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading up until here 💕

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series: reckless #tw: abuse #sorry for the typos i wrote this on my phone without glasses lol

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them With a S/o Who Has Toxic Friends || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Reader

Requested by Anonymous: hello! may i request for the boys reacting to a s/o with toxic friends and she finds it difficult to let go of them? i've been going through a rough time lately and i'd really appreciate if you could write it. (only if you're okay with it of course! i don't wanna pressure you too much..aaa). thank you and i hope you have a wonderful day<33

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: Thanks so much for requesting! I’m sorry to hear about that, people suck. I had a friend a few years back that was literally so toxic (she liked to start drama every single day) and I had a hard time letting her go, until I realized it just wasn’t worth it anymore (she low key gave me self esteem issues), and eventually I just let her go. But I hope you get your issues figured out and start feeling better soon. Other than that, thanks for requesting and I hope you have a great day/night! Oh, and I hope these aren’t too short, I didn’t want to get to into the details of the friendship because I don’t know the details of what’s happening and I didn’t want to make it not be able to applied to you when you’re literally the one who requested it. -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

At first, he’s kind of confused as to why your friends are toxic to you

You were such a good person and he loved you, so why don’t they

If you start crying over it, he’s going to cry as well, he can’t handle seeing you in such a state over some toxic people

If you’re feeling down about it, he’ll do whatever you want him to

He’ll cuddle with you, watch movies with you, do homework with you, anything that’ll make you happy and put a smile on your face

If you’re having trouble cutting them off, then he’ll encourage you to let them go

“I know it’s hard, Y/n. But if they make you this upset then they have to go.”

Once you do finally let them go, and you’re even more upset, he’s going to be there any time he can

His friends are going out together to have some fun? Too bad, he can’t come, he’s got a s/o to comfort

Or he’ll go but bring you with him in an attempt to cheer you up

His friends also gladly welcome you into their group, and try to become your friends so you don’t feel as lonely

Makes sure you know that you’re perfect and that you don’t need your toxic friends

Katsuki Bakugou:

As soon as he finds out you have toxic friends, he’s immediately going to tell you to get rid of them

Nobody’s allowed to mistreat his significant other, and I mean nobody

Like literally one time Kaminari made some rude comment about you (It was just a little comment about your shirt being ugly or something) but Bakugou went off and threatened to blow Kaminari up

Back to the point, he’s not going to tolerate anybody mistreating you or hurting you in any way at all

After a while, when he sees your making no attempt to let them go, even though you had talked about it before, and you promised that you would cut them off, he confronts you and asks you about it

When you tell him that you’re having a hard time letting go, he’s so confused

Why would it be hard? They’re treating you like shit! Just get rid of them

After you explain your reasoning, he understands a little, but still tries to get you to cut them off

Finally, after a ton of help from Katsuki, you cut them off

After you cut them off, you were upset, and he did his best to comfort you

He would do anything and everything to make you happy, even if he complained about it a lot

He’d even stay up past his bedtime to hang out if it cheered you up

Eijiro Kirishima:

To say he’s upset when he finds out would be an understatement

He’s absolutely furious, like madder than Bakugou type furious

Who the hell do these people think they are to treat you like that!?

After calming himself down, he’ll let you vent and comfort you about it, but like the others, he immediately tells you to cut them off

He totally understands that it’s hard and you don’t want to, even though you know you need to

He’ll encourage you, and even offer to help you cut them off in nice way (even though he wants to tell them fuck off and not ever think about talking to you again), but he knows that’s not what you want

He does end up helping you cut them off and let them go

And he’s there for you every step of the way

You’re crying at two in the morning over it? Call him, he’ll run to the store get you a tub of your favorite ice cream and then spend the rest of the night cuddling with you and binge watching your favorite show

And of course, if you don’t have any other friends besides the toxic ones then he’s going to have the Bakusquad become your friends and help you out

They’re actually all pretty happy to become your friend, (even Bakugou, not that he’d tell you or Kirishima that though), but the most enthusiastic is definitely Mina

Shoto Todoroki:

You actually don’t tell him, he finds out because of how they treat you when he hangs out with you and your friends one time

He keeps his feelings inside while you’re still hanging out with them, even though on the inside he wants to tell them off

But he waits until after they all leave to confront you about

“You know that’s not okay, right?”

“What?”

“Your friends. I personally don’t think they deserve that title. They treat you terribly, Y/n. You know I don’t like telling you what to do, but I seriously think you should cut them off.”

He’ll help you get through it, and help you cut them off, because he knows how hard it must be for you, and that you need some help

Finally, after it’s all said and done, he’s there to comfort you whenever you need his comfort

He makes sure that you know nothing they did was your fault, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you at all

He’s there to comfort you and make sure you know how loved you are and how many people care for you

He’ll spoil you with gifts, no matter what it is, how much it is, how far away it is, if he’s noticed that you wanted it, he would get it for you

Oh, and your ex friends better pray to god that they never run into Todoroki in public, because now he has no reason to hold back

You may or may not see an article in the paper about a few teenagers found frozen in ice in the middle of a shopping mall

Denki Kaminari:

Denki also notices how they treat you while you all are hanging out, but he doesn’t hesitate to speak up about it

“Hey, don’t you think that’s kind of mean guys? You should be nicer to Y/n, they’re your friend.”

When your friends just laugh it off, it’s going to take every single bone in his body not to electrocute every single one of them right then and there

After you and him are alone, he’s going to mention it to you

“You know, Y/n. They weren’t very nice to you. I think you should let them go.”

When you both come to the agreement that they have to go, he’s helping you stop being friends with them, and helping you move onto better people

He’ll introduce you to his friends, if you haven’t met already, and encourage you to hang out with them whenever they all hang out with each other

If you need some comfort, he’s totally up for some cuddly crying sessions at late hours of the night (even if seeing you cry kills him inside)

Will do anything is his power to make you feel better and happier, he hates seeing you upset for any reason at all

If you’re feeling down about it, he’s by your side in an instant, going on about how much he loves you and how your old friends were just a bunch of jerks

#izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou #eijiro kirishima #eijiro kirishima x reader #kirishima x reader #eijiro x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki #denki kaminari #denki kaminari x reader #denki x reader #kaminari x reader #x reader #headcanons #headcanon post #bnha #mha #my hero academia #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons

[petri808]

Ooooo can you do, “you’re my mate?” 🥺

Sure! 😊

@stillsnowfalling

“Natsu, you know our ways, and as heir to this clan, it is my duty to choose who you will marry!”

“But it’s not fair!”

“When you are finally king, you can change the rules, but until then, I have chosen to uphold tradition.”

“But dad!”

Igneel bellowed at his defiant son. “The nuptial rites will take place in three moons! That is final!”

Natsu stomped away from his father absolutely furious! This whole traditional bullshit of arranged marriages was as outdated as the most ancient scrolls held in their reliquary. Why was his father so adamant about upholding such an antiquated rule?! The draco clan was doing perfectly fine, what need was there for a marriage based on an alliance? At least give him a chance to choose his own bride so the union was one of love instead of condemnation.

“I won’t love whoever he chooses!” Natsu growled to himself, and his first ruling as king will be to pick someone he actually desired.

Because there was someone… he sighed, and dropped into a squat on the rock outcropping. When Natsu couldn’t stand being in the village anymore, he ran to a place that brought him a tiny bit of peace, deep in the forest. The tiny pond was hidden from prying eyes. None of his attendants or even friends knew about the place— save for one, if he could even call her a friend anymore…

It was here, in this very spot twelve years ago after the draco had once again run away from under his fathers thumb that he met her. Lucy whose last name he knew not. They were so young at the time. Natsu was a young draco of 7-year’s old, and she a 5-year-old forest fairy. Of course, it had nothing to do with love at that age, they were just two children running away for their own reasons and found a friend to play with. For the next two years, Natsu and Lucy would meet every day around lunch time and played until dusk or risk someone coming to look for them. They had so much fun together, it was truly the best two years of his life. The draco and the fairy…

Natsu still remembered the day Lucy never showed up at the pond like it was yesterday. How he went back every single day for months hoping to see those big brown eyes and wispy blonde hair waiting for him. But it wasn’t meant to be. He had no idea why she stopped coming or if she was even still alive. Had something bad happened to her? Or was it more likely her father had caught her running off into the woods? Lucy would tell him the stories of an over bearing father that made his blood boil over in anger. The problem was, she refused to tell him exactly where she came from.

The years passed by and his own father stepped up his son’s kingship training. Natsu didn’t like the constraint and many a time wished he’d been born a simple clansman. He often promised himself that one day when he did become king, he would send out his men to search for the wayward blonde of his childhood to make her his wife. But, Natsu never imagined that his father would step in to choose one for him first.

He sighed, and stared into the dark blue pool as if praying to its watery gods for a miracle. “Lucy…” if only Natsu knew where she was, he’d find her and run away from here…

The moons came and went in a flash, and the day of the nuptial rites had finally arrived. Natsu felt dead inside, his body merely following the instructions given to him. It was all scheduled out. Whoever was his bride-to-be had arrived with her family two days ago, but guards had kept him sequestered in his room, both for fear of him running away as well as upholding the tradition that they not meet until the the ceremony itself. Natsu was dressed in a ceremonial attire made of fine leather, and decorated in their clans red and gold colors. Every little detail was attended to, including painting his horns and wings with golden markings that he didn’t understand. All a part of the so-called tradition.

His cousin Sting came into Natsu’s room and gave him a couple of play punches on his shoulder. “Cheer up, it’s almost over.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Natsu rolled his eyes. “Do me a favor, and just shove a dagger in my heart.”

“She can’t be all that bad, and besides, if you ain’t happy with her, just find yourself a concubine.”

“Keh! You know that’s not allowed!”

“Only if you get caught,” the fellow draco winked.

“Just get out,” Natsu sighed in full disinterest. “I’m not in a mood to banter.” He just wanted to fantasize about brown eyes and dream of a happier life.

“Suit yourself.” Sting shrugged and left his cousin alone. “Your dad said someone will come to take you to the ceremony in an hour. So, at least try to look interested.”

“Tch.” As if that would happen…

Minutes before high noon, Natsu was led from his chambers to the ceremonial hut. It was skin crawling as he was paraded through the rows of awaiting onlookers like a goat being led to slaughter. At least, that’s how he felt. Not a future king, but a sacrifice just to satisfy an alliance. Once inside the wooden structure, there was only the priest, his father, and another man assumably the father of the bride standing to the sides. Natsu was stood in front of the priest to wait for the brides arrival, but kept his head down the whole time. While he wasn’t looking, his ears stayed tuned to the goings on around him, and after a brief wait, he could hear chatter coming from outside. She had arrived.

His scowl grew as the tiny steps came closer, every fiber of his being in argument— should he just run? But he knew he wouldn’t get far with the place surrounded. The priest began to speak and Natsu only half-listened. Most of it was rubbish anyways, the typical stuff one might hear in such a ceremony. Some chanting, some instructions. He just stood there silently, with eyes glued to the floor. But there was one thing he could sense, the female wasn’t happy either. Her silent sobbing coupled with the demoralized aura surrounding her body spoke volumes. He rolled his eyes. ‘Great, this union will be such a happy one! Thanks dad.’

“Please remove her headdress,” the priest instructed Natsu, “and take her hands.”

He groaned in his head, but followed the instructions like a wooden puppet, looking up for the first time since entering the building. Natsu pulled the dark veil up to finally get a look at the woman, but his hands froze midair as he stared into big brown eyes coated in moisture. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Was it so distressed that it projected who he wanted to see?!

It was a gasp from the woman and the fluttering of gold-dusted fairy wings that snapped his brain back to the present.

“N-Natsu?!”

“Lucy? Y-You’re my mate?”

“I’m your mate,” she responded with a twinkle in her eyes.

Natsu looked towards his father in confusion only to find a man standing there with the biggest grin. Son-of-a— his dad knew all along! He smiled brightly and happily took Lucy’s hands at the priests insistent instruction to move along with the ceremony. But it was clear from that point that neither paid any attention to the priest, too focused only on each other. Little tears still trickled down her smiling face, while his sported a euphoric high. And when the words came to kiss the bride, Natsu gladly swept forward and took the lips he’d dreamed of kissing for years. He got his wish.

#nalu #fairy tail #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #nalu au #fantasy au #nalu drabble #nalu fan fic #nalu fan fiction #asks and answers

[sundaysundaes]

Monochrome

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader/Female OC | Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff | NC-17 | Soulmate AU, Childhood-Friends-Become-Lovers AU

CHAPTER 1 OF 2. Part 2, titled Spectra, can be read here.

Summary: Lee Donghyuck once believed in the concept of soulmates—how fate would connect a red thread from one lover to another, in a form of dreams and memories. That was how his parents met, that was how they claimed their happiness, and he wanted nothing more but to live his life the way they lived theirs. Until one day, as he sees her slipping away from his hands, he has no choice but to stop believing entirely.

It was the color of amaranth red, Donghyuck remembers now, though he was still too young back then to know the name. It was the color of amaranth red that painted her cheeks and the tip of her nose as they were kissed by the morning breeze. It was the color of amaranth red that tinted her shoes, her knitted sweater dress, the two ribbons she wore on her hair. And it was the color of amaranth red that burst onto his cheeks, as his eyes widened in both glee, curiosity, and sheer excitement. He was four years old and she was five, but the way she spoke so courteously as she introduced herself upon their first meeting was something little Donghyuck could only imagine doing.

But it didn’t matter, Donghyuck was too distracted anyway. If he was older maybe he would’ve been left dumbfounded at the sight of her breathtaking smile, or the perfect curves of her lips, or the vibrant eyes she had hidden behind her symmetrical bangs. But he was merely a four-year-old, so he was more distracted with a jar full of chocolate cookies she carried in her arms.

“We’re the family that’s just moved in next door.” The older lady, who looked like the exact doppelgänger of the little girl, mentioned with a polite smile and a formal bow. “I hope we can become friends.”

Donghyuck’s mother cheered and took her hand in a friendly handshake before she beckoned the little girl to come closer. “Oh my, look at how adorable you are! You’re about the same age as my son. I hope you two can get along.”

Donghyuck, who had been hiding behind his mother’s legs, took a step forward. He was only interested in the jar full of cookies that she carried in her arms, licking his lips once as his eyes bore into it. But when the little girl offered the jar, grinning widely from ear-to-ear, and chirped, “Brought you some cookies! I helped my mother with these so I bet they’ll taste great!”, Donghyuck decided that he liked her more.

It was the color of azure, the crayon she held between her fingers back then, as she tried to imitate the look of his clothes on a stick figure. She was quite a painter, four-year-old Donghyuck thought, because there was no way for him to know how to draw mountains and the sun lurking behind them with that little head of his.

“Okay, so this is you,” she told him, smiling to herself as she finished perfecting her sketches of him. “And this is me. And this is our pet dog, Jelly Bean.”

“But we don’t have a dog.”

“We can have one in the future.”

“We can?”

“Of course. When we grow up, we can have whatever we want.”

Donghyuck believed her. He believed everything she said because she believed everything he said, even about the monsters living under his bed that his parents completely ignored. During their sleepovers, which occurred nearly three times a week in his room, she would always stand by as a guard, saying, “I’ll keep watch. If it appears, I will destroy it with my sword. Nothing can hurt you when I’m around.” And he would feel content, knowing she was there to protect him, even when in the end she fell asleep way before he did with her toy sword hanging loosely around her fingers.

Donghyuck would sleep next to her, curling up like a baby that he was, seeking her warmth. Their little feet would dangle out of his teepee tent and he would breathe in the scent of his grapefruit shampoo from her hair. And secretly, under his breath, as he tangled his pinky finger around hers, Donghyuck would say, “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“Why do you always draw the sun?” Donghyuck questioned one day with his round, chocolate brown eyes scanning the giant yellow circle that she drew repeatedly with her crayon.

“Because I love the sun,” she answered, searching for another yellow crayon so she could paint it even more. “It’s bright and it’s warm, and I can play outside when it’s out. Don’t you feel happier when it’s sunny outside?”

Donghyuck thought about it, he really did with the very little experience that he had. “Probably. I can play soccer when it’s sunny.”

“See? The sun is amazing. Nothing can beat the sun. Do you know that the sun is the biggest star in our solar system?”

If he was smarter, he would've told her that of course, it's the biggest star, you idiot, it's the only star in our solar system. But little Donghyuck, who could barely remember what came after the letter S, innocently asked, “What’s a solar system?”

She sighed, shaking her head. “I forgot that you’re only four.”

“Hey, you’re only five!”

“But I know what a solar system is and you don’t.”

Donghyuck pouted. If only he was older, perhaps he could reciprocate with a better argument. But then again, she was quite smart—the smartest girl he had ever met. Well, in his whole four years of living anyway.

“You’re kinda like the sun, actually,” she suggested, gathering his attention back to her. “You have a bright smile and whenever you smile, you make me want to smile too. You’re like the sun because you always make me happy. Oh!” She suddenly jabbed one finger into the air, making him jump on his little feet. “I know! You should be called Haechan, as in Full Sun! And I’ll be calling you Haechannie because we’re friends.”

And Donghyuck smiled the way he always smiled, which made her point a finger to his face, shouting, “Yes, that’s it! That’s the smile! That’s my Haechannie!” And he liked the sound of it. He liked the way she called him Haechannie but not as much as he liked being called hers.

Because he’s always been hers, from the beginning of time till the end. It’s always been her who owns his heart, who paints a spectrum of colors to his monochromatic life, and who breaks his soul to pieces and tones everything down into black and white.

It’s always been her. No one else owns him but her.

***

It was apple green, the color of the duster his mother was wearing when she had her eyes glued to the TV screen, watching another episode of her most awaited romance series. It was way past their bedtime so Donghyuck performed his best ninja skill which was tiptoeing his way out of his room with his bunny socks enveloping his feet and his deer plush toy accompanying him in his arms.

He was five and she was six, but she had learned how to forgive when he could barely remember to send an apology after making a mistake.

“You stay here and be on guard, okay, Haechannie?” She whispered before she tiptoed her way to the kitchen, leaving him alone in the hallway.

He grabbed the sleeve of her rosy pink pajamas. “But what if my mom finds out?”

“She won’t find out. She’s busy watching TV.”

“What if she walks into the kitchen?”

“Then that’s the time you should give me a signal, Haechannieeeee. Will you ever listen to me?”

“I don’t wanna stay alone. Mom can be scary sometimes.”

“Ugh, fine, take my hand. We’ll get in together. You can help me hold my chair when I reach up to steal those cookies.”

“Can we just go back to bed? I don’t need any cookies.”

“No, no. When you have nightmares, you have to eat cookies.”

“But will you still sleep beside me?”

A delicate hand ruffled his raven hair until it got all tousled and adorable. “Of course, Haechannie.”

The moonlight did not shine as bright as the girl’s cherished smile. But it was okay, he thought, she could replace the moon with her lips. She could replenish the stars with her eyes. They did not sparkle nearly as beautiful as they were anyway.

On their way back to their room, Donghyuck heard two sentences being exchanged by the lovers inside the screen so he stopped and listened, carving every word into his memories. When he arrived back in his room, he ran toward her, circled his short little arms around her waist, and muttered the exact same words.

“There’s no life without you, Noona.”

And she didn’t question him anything, wasn’t surprised of him, wasn’t disgusted with it. She simply smiled back, turning around to embrace him properly, and whispered.

“There’s no life without you too, Haechannie.”

***

It was the color of cherry blossom pink, the petals of flowers that flown into his room, coming from the window that he just slid open. He stood up on his little wooden chair, waving his hands back and forth like a drowning man desperate for attention, as he shouted, “Noona! Wake up! They’re blooming!”

He was six and she was seven, but she had memorized how to count one to ten in three different languages when he could barely count all the planets in the solar system.

When she opened her window, her eyes were all squinted trying their best to adjust themselves to the brightness of the sun—or Donghyuck’s smile, considering it shone just as bright. “I’m still sleepy!”

“But you promised we’d go for a walk!”

“Ugh, fine! I’ll meet you outside my house in an hour. Don’t forget to wear your jacket, Haechannie, because I’m not lending mine again!”

He nodded, smiling all the way. But by an hour later, he had forgotten yet again to carry his coat with him because he was too busy remembering the look on her face whenever she called his name, and too excited to have her hold his hands during their little trip outside.

And it was fine, really, because she already brought two jackets with her, knowing him like the back of her hand.

***

It was the color of crimson, the droplets of blood that stained his shirt. He could barely breathe through his broken nose, and the pain stung so much that his eyes began to water. But knowing that she was there, sitting beside him on the side of the pavements with worried eyes observing his expression, he had no other choice but to rub his tears away before she could catch the sight of them falling to his cheeks.

He was twelve and she was thirteen, but she already had her own preferences of clothing, knowing exactly what kind of dress could accentuate her beauty, while he, on the other hand, was still pretty much wearing the exact same type of clothes like what his mother bought him two years ago.

“Are you okay?” Her eyes examined his face as she dabbed an ice-cold napkin to his bruised jaw. Donghyuck swatted her hand away, stealing the piece of cloth from her fingers so he could do it himself.

“I’m fine. I’m not a baby,” he muttered and he knew how harsh the tone he was using but he did not apologize for it. She most likely had forgiven him anyway.

“What happened exactly?” She was still tentatively reaching out to him, tidying the tousled strands of his brown hair. “Why did you get into a fight?”

“Who said I was in a fight?” He was. He absolutely was. It was against a boy with the stupidest haircut he’d ever seen on a male, in his classroom after he caught him stealing her sketchbook. Donghyuck saw him raking his pen back and forth on her drawings, grinning mischievously to himself as he did it. He didn’t stop to ask for an explanation. The second he saw her beautiful drawings get tainted by something that wasn’t made from her hands, he began to launch his fist, directly to the boy’s poor face. Donghyuck had always been more temperamental, so he fought more with his rage than his strength, which usually ended up with him getting a fair share of beating as well.

“Here.” He handed her sketchbook back and saw her widening her eyes in surprise. “That’s right, stupid. You forgot your stupid book. I was on my way back to the class to get it when I tripped down the stairs.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize I even took this out of my bag.” She blinked, checking her book and stopping after she flipped a few pages. Donghyuck froze on his seat. He’d already predicted that she would find out sooner or later that one of her pages—the one that was ruined by that asshole—was missing; he just hoped she wouldn’t notice right away. But maybe she also noticed the anxious look on his face when she went through the pages, which was why she decided to close the book, and do nothing but smile that stupidly blazing smile of hers.

“What?” He asked, already feeling quite flustered even when she hadn’t said anything yet.

“I’m just happy,” she replied, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for, uhh, for getting this back for me.”

And he looked up to the sky, not caring if the sunlight was burning every inch of his skin and blinding his eyes, as long as she didn’t notice the rosy blush that painted his cheeks.

***

It was the color of lemon meringue, the chunk of tart that Donghyuck shoved into his mouth. They were celebrating his fourteenth birthday and he had a bunch of friends coming over. And yet, there he was sitting on the bench in his backyard, next to a girl dressed adorably in a yellow lace party dress, who was scowling at him.

“What?” Donghyuck muttered, yet plopping another big chunk of the tart. “Why do you look like you want to murder me? Is it that time of the month already?”

“No, jackass.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s my tart.”

“Sure, but,” he pierced the cake with his fork, taking another piece into his mouth with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “It’s my birthday cake.”

She sighed—a habit that she did a lot whenever she was with him. “Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be opening the presents right now? I think your friends are looking for you.”

“Nah, I’d rather talk to you.” He shrugged, pushing the empty plate back now to its owner. “Besides, you look like you’re seconds away from crying. I figured I can be a jerk to you another day and play the role of your prince charming for the rest of the evening.”

“You literally just ate every bit of my tart.”

“You’re welcome.” He sent her a flying kiss and a wink.

They both leaned backward, resting their spines against the bench, staring blankly at the cloudy sky with their fingers lying idly just a few inches from each other.

“Have you heard about that thing with our soulmates?” Donghyuck suddenly asked, his tongue still tracing every little bit of the sugary taste left inside his mouth. “About how we’ll begin to constantly dream about them after we turn eighteen, even if we’ve never met them before.”

“I thought that was just a rumor?”

“I thought so too, but then my parents told me that the exact same thing happened to them.”

“They met each other in their dreams?”

“No, it’s like—” Donghyuck scratched the back of his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “I don’t know for sure, but it’s like your dreams are a mixture of your soulmate’s past and present memories. My mother said that she lived through his memories every night, until one day she met my father by coincidence during the day, and then she saw herself in the dream the following night. That was when she realized that he was her soulmate.”

“This is giving me headaches, but I kinda get the idea.”

“So whose memories do you think you’re going to see in your dream?” Donghyuck wiggled his eyebrows. “Mine?”

She snorted. “You wish your soulmate was me.”

“Actually, I do,” he stated, making her froze for a split second before she looked at him in bewilderment. “No, wait, don’t get me wrong,” he immediately corrected, raising a hand in the air. “It’s not like I’m into you or anything, ‘cause that’s, like, so gross since we’re basically like siblings by now, but if it really is true—this soulmate thingy—I wouldn’t mind if it turns out to be you because we get along really well, don’t we? Being soulmates doesn’t necessarily mean we have to marry each other—eww, God, no—” He made a show about it, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “It’s more like saying we’re connected. Know each other’s mind—like, we understand each other, you know what I mean? Don’t you feel that way about me?”

She thought about it, and with every second passing by, Donghyuck became more aware of how embarrassing his lines sounded in his ears. “You know what? Forget it. It’s dumb. I don’t know why I said—”

“Well, I guess, if you put it in a non-romantic way, then yeah, sure.” She smiled, a bit awkward and shy but sincere like always. “We can be soulmates. But I will only marry you if we’re the only two people left in the world. And even then, I would still think about it.”

He rolled his eyes but inwardly thanking her for not making this even more awkward than it already was. “Right, but for our friendship’s sake, let’s never talk about this again.”

“Agreed.”

They stood by in silence, hearing a bunch of children laughing in the background as they danced to the blaring music. “So on that note,” he said again, slicing through the awkward tension. “What are you so upset about today?”

She huffed, playing with her fingers. “I don’t know, I feel like everybody’s looking at me weird. I knew I shouldn’t have worn this dress—I know it’s too much—everyone is wearing shirts and jeans and I’m here looking like—”

“—a pretty girl,” he finished, staring nonchalantly at the clouds as he said it. “I don’t know what these guys think, but you’re prettier than any girl in the room today. You’re prettier than me, even, and that’s saying something.”

She bit her lower lip, holding back a laugh. “You just turned fourteen today and suddenly you’re old enough to flirt.”

“I wasn’t flirting.”

She smiled sheepishly. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

He looked to his side, a lopsided smile on his face. “Feel better now?”

“A little.”

“Good. Now go fetch me another plate of that thing I just ate ‘cause I’m still hungry.”

***

It was the color of ruby, the lipstick she wore on her lips for the very first time, which made Donghyuck knit his eyebrows together, both in confusion and bewilderment.

He was fifteen and she was sixteen, but she already read a bunch of novels about first kisses and sappy love stories when he barely even owned a novel.

“Are you wearing make-up?” he uttered with a frown, scrunching his nose. He was sitting on the edge of her bed, his black Michael Jackson shirt falling a bit loose around his shoulders with the bottom edge of his light-blue jeans folded.

“Yes, and before you judge me for it,” she began, but Donghyuck was already sticking his tongue out at her, making the most disgusted look on his face. “You’re an ass, do you know that?”

“You look like a clown, honestly.”

“Well, this clown is going on a date.” She looked proud, which made him furrow his eyebrows even deeper. “And if she’s lucky, she’s going to get her first kiss by the end of the evening, while you, on the other hand, are just going to sit there in your room watching The Kissing Booth for God knows how many times and pretend like you’re handsome enough to date the female protagonist.”

“I am handsome enough to date the female protagonist. Handsome enough to date the male protagonist even.”

“Yeah, in your dreams. You’re just a virgin with a stupid bowl cut in reality.”

“Whatever. You still look like a clown.”

“Whatever. Now turn around, I need to change my clothes.”

“To your clown costume?”

“Turn around!”

Donghyuck had little options in his hand, when she brought her high heels in the air, ready to hurl them to his face, so he exhaled loudly in annoyance and lied down on her bed, turning his body around so he was facing the wall.

“Who’s this idiot you’re going with?” He eventually asked, because the rustling sounds of her clothes hitting the floor were getting too distracting.

“Na Jaemin. You know, that extremely cute boy from P.E Class.”

He knew who exactly Jaemin was. Heard his name being spoken several times as he walked down his school’s corridor. Girls were obsessed with him, and they would scream as if the world was ending whenever he played a game on the basketball court. They might be thinking why is someone as perfect as Jaemin interested in someone like her? And he hated the fact that he was thinking the same thing, just the other way around.

Why is someone as perfect as her interested in someone like him?

But on the outside, he toned it down to a simple grimace. “What the hell is a Na Jaemin?”

She threw her heel at him, hitting his spine and making him groan. “Hey, that hurts, you bi—” But his words died on his tongue when he saw her standing in front of her mirror in nothing but her matching underwear, with her dress threatening to fall from her arms.

“Hey!” She shrieked, squatting down to the floor and trying her best to gather as much clothing to her body to stop herself from being so exposed to his eyes. “I didn’t say you could turn around!”

And Donghyuck would’ve played it cool, he really would have, if he wasn’t too aware of the heat rising to his cheeks. “I, uhh—” He turned around again, clearing his throat. “Well, it’s your fault for throwing your shoe at me! I turned around in reflex.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying! From now on, you wait outside!”

“Fine!” He scrambled to his feet, making sure that he didn’t spare any glance at her—no matter how badly he wanted to—as he made his way out. “You have small boobs anyway.”

She screamed his name in both shame and anger but he was walking out with a cheeky grin on his face. He waited outside her room with his hands buried deep in the pocket of his jeans, yawning as he pressed the back of his head against the wall. A moment later, she opened the door with her face down, trying to tuck her bra strap under the collar of her dress. When he called her name, she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Damn it, Haechannie, I thought you’ve left!”

“I wanted to see your clown costume.”

“Why you little—” But this time, it was her turn to be lost at words because Donghyuck was staring at her in the way he never stared at her before. His eyes were gleaming as they took in her features—her lace cocktail dress that matched the color of her lipstick, her red ankle strap heels, her natural make-up that gave prominence to her eyes, and the way all of her clothing just fell perfect on her skin, embracing her every curve.

“W-what is it?” She asked, carding her fingers nervously through her hair—her soft, beautiful hair that always made him a little bit weak whenever she tucked a loose strand behind her ear. “Do I look weird?”

He forced himself to close his gaping mouth and act nonchalant again. After nine years of training, he was beginning to master his act. “Well,” Donghyuck said, shrugging, “It’s not exactly like the clown costume I remembered it to be, but it’s okay, I guess. So now tell me where is this Halloween party you’re attending because I’m going too.”

“I can no longer tell whether you’re joking or not, honestly.” She waved him off, tightening the straps of her heels. “Look, it’s my first date with a really cute boy who I really like. Can’t you at least wish me luck?”

Donghyuck didn’t answer right away. His heart was still conflicted about the whole thing and his head was still swirling over the thoughts of how pretty she looked. “I can’t believe you’re blowing me off for something as lame as Na Jaemin.”

“Someone as lame as—wait, he’s not lame!”

“But does he know you the way I do, though? Like, does he know how loud your snores are? I know that, and I accept that.”

“Haechannie, we literally spend every weekend together for the last nine years. I’m just taking one night off.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re still blowing me off.”

“Look, if it wasn’t a date, I would’ve asked you to come but since this is a date,” she stopped to smile, tapping her fingers against his cheek, “You be a good boy and wait for me at home, okay?”

As she walked out of her house, with him trailing behind her with heavy steps, Donghyuck said, “I hope his breath smells like shit when you kiss him later tonight!”

She laughed it off, raising her middle finger playfully at him, probably thinking he was upset because they didn’t spend the weekend together when he was entirely livid about something else.

He wasn’t sure how he felt towards her, but he was pretty certain that he didn’t like the fact she went out with some boy who probably wasn’t aware of her full name—or the way she would bite on her bottom lip from being too deep in concentration whenever she sketched something down, or the way she would puff out her cheeks in the most adorable way when she got teased too much. That fucking Na Jaemin wouldn’t understand her the way Donghyuck did.

So for the first time in his life, Donghyuck prayed something bad happened that night so her date would get canceled and she’d come running back into his arms, snuggling close with a popcorn bowl on their laps as they watched the same movie for the hundredth time.

Unfortunately for him, his prayer was not answered.

***

It was sapphire blue, the color of his hoodie was when he swung by to her house again, casually letting himself inside without even greeting her parents because he did it so many times within a day. It started to feel more like his house compared to hers.

“Oh,” she sneered, a smile appearing on her face. “You again.”

“What’s with the under-appreciating tone?” He clicked his tongue. “Most girls would actually scream in joy when I graced them with my presence.”

“Scream in horror, more likely.”

He ignored her banter, taking a seat on her bed again. She was lying down on her duvet, stomach pressed against the fabric with a fashion magazine under her fingers. “So,” he began, casually laying his head down on the dip of her spine, staring at the ceiling and secretly loving the feeling of knowing directly every time she took and released her breath. “Did he smell like shit when you kissed him?”

She flipped through a page. “As a matter of fact, we haven’t kissed. But that’s none of your business anyway.”

Donghyuck couldn’t help a smile creeping up his face. It was his luck that she didn’t notice. “Oh, but it is my business,” he said, trying not to sound as gleeful as he felt inside. “I really want to know whether he smells like shit or a dog's piss so I can make fun of him every time I see you.”

“Well, from the close proximity I had with him during our conversations inside the cinema, he smelled deliciously wonderful.”

“Deliciously? So he smelled like tacos?”

“Smelled way better than you, at least.”

“You’ve never kissed me so you wouldn’t know.”

“I already can tell without having to kiss you, asshole. You reek from a hundred feet away.”

“But just to be sure, wanna make-out with me for a while? I won’t bite.” Then he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Unless that’s what you’re into.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“AUNTIEEEEEEE, SHE’S SAYING THE F WORD!”

“SHUT UP!”

***

It was Navajo white, the color of her knitted scarf was, as it hanged loosely around her neck, matching the color of her duffle coat.

“Oh,” Donghyuck flatly said as he opened the door to his room, answering her persistent knocks. “You again.”

“Haechannie.” The way she said his name sounded like she was desperate for help, and that made his heart flutter a little bit at the thought of being needed. But the words that followed soon after, crushed every bit of his happiness within an instant. “Jaemin asked me to be his girlfriend.”

He could feel how tightly his fingers were sinking into his palms but he tried to keep his voice steady. “And you’re confused because you just found out he’s a girl?”

“What should I do?” She whined, completely ignoring his sarcastic reaction. She seemed anxious, jumping a little on her feet every now and then, which was so adorable for his eyes to take but whenever he remembered the reason why she was acting that cute, he could feel his jaws tightening again.

“Do whatever you want, it’s not my business,” he muttered, walking back to his room but leaving the door open for her to follow.

“I like him, Haechannie,” she continued, and with every word that came from her mouth, a javelin seemed to strike him even harder in the chest. “I really do, but am I ready to have a relationship? Like what do I do? I know I joke a lot about having my first kiss but now that we’re about to become official, and knowing that he’s most likely going to kiss me soon, I get so nervous.”

Donghyuck didn’t say a word. He had nothing nice to say, so he kept himself in silence.

“W-what would you do if you were me?” She sputtered. “I mean, if a girl you like asked you to be her boyfriend?”

Donghyuck had his hands hidden in the pockets of his hoodie, so she wouldn’t be able to tell when his fingers curled into balls of fists. He had the back of his hips pressed against his desk, locating his eyes on his shoes instead of hers. “This girl I like is actually talking about being someone else’s girlfriend,” he professed, “So I’m not sure I can give you proper advice.”

“Stop messing with me, Haechannie, I’m seriously begging for your help here.”

It was goddamn annoying, he thought, how she could be so dense when it came to things like this. Well, to be fair, he did have his fair share of flirting with her from time to time whether he meant his words or not, and knowing how playful he was, it’s a given that she grew to become accustomed to his teasing personality. It was nearly impossible for him to be taken seriously nowadays.

“Why are you even asking me?” He spat out, now looking at her eyes—almost glowering. “I’m not your boyfriend.”

“I don’t know, I really need someone to talk to, I guess.” She played with her hair, biting her lower lip worriedly. “And you’re my best friend so I naturally just come to you. You always seem to have the answers to everything.”

There was a pang in his heart when she singlehandedly decided on their relationship status and he knew he shouldn’t have asked for something more but with more days passing by where it was only the two of them walking side-by-side under the first snow, or calling each other’s names the first thing in the morning through their windows, Donghyuck couldn’t help but to hope for something more.

“Well, like I said,” he repeated, voice sounding low and foreign even to his own ears. “Do whatever you want. As long as it makes you happy.”

She took a proper look at his face. “Are you angry or something?”

“No.”

“What, like, did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then why—”

“I said nothing’s wrong!” His voice thundered through the thick tension that was hanging between them and he felt his own heart shaking in pain from the tone he just made. They stared at each other’s eyes in what felt like hours before Donghyuck finally covered it with a tired sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m just really tired right now. Didn’t catch any sleep last night from playing too many games.”

It took a good few seconds for her to regain back her composure. “Well, I don’t want to bother you then.” She didn’t sound angry, but she did sound hurt. Donghyuck was still in the middle of sorting out his feelings when she walked out of his room, saying, “I’m sorry for pestering you like this. Goodbye, Haechannie.”

He had never hated someone as much as he hated himself then.

It took him five hours for his mind to finally make up the decision to go into her house and apologize in person, but only a second for him to immediately do it once he’d made up his mind. He ran down the stairs so fast, he almost fell face-first on the carpeted floor. When he stood in front of her house, desperately pushing back air into his lungs, the door was locked and no one came to answer no matter how many times he rang the doorbell.

Muttering a train of expletives under his breath, he turned to his iPhone and found the first number in his emergency contacts. He was about to press dial when suddenly her name popped out on his screen, asking him to answer her call.

“Noona?” Donghyuck called, breathing in relief. “Hey, I was about to call you. I wanted to apologi—”

“Haechannie.” She sounded so happy, almost to the point of shedding tears. “Haechannie, he just kissed me.”

Donghyuck’s lips were parted in shock, his throat felt like burning, even though puffs of air still tumbled down from his mouth. His heart almost stopped beating entirely.

“What do I do, Haechannie, I’m so happy,” she said, laughing between tears. “I’m actually crying right now. I’m so lame, I know, but—God, I can’t believe I got kissed by my crush—no, wait, my boyfriend—oh God, it’s still embarrassing to say that but—”

As if turning deaf, her voice in his ears was reduced into a silent murmur before vanishing entirely. The loud beating of his heart soon replaced it as it pumped more anger and jealousy through his veins but Donghyuck wasn’t going to repeat his previous mistake. He wasn’t going to let his emotions take control again.

“Well,” he breathed out, unfamiliar with the sound of his own voice. “I’m happy for you then.”

“You are? Oh, thank God, because I thought you’d whine about me for not spending time with you anymore.”

“Do you really think that lousy of me?”

“I’m kidding, Haechannie. I love you. You know that, right?”

And it hurt, the way she said it, because it meant nothing more than a platonic love and he wanted it to mean more. Perhaps he had been waiting for those three words to mean more for the last nine years of his life.

“Of course,” he simply said, hoping she wouldn’t hear the crack in his voice. “There’s no life without you, Noona.”

It took her a while to respond, and he was worried whether the cold tone in his voice stood too vividly again, but she laughed before he could think too much.

“It’s been a while since we said that. Of course, yes, there’s no life without you, Haechannie.” She giggled again, “It’s kind of embarrassing to say that when we’re already this old. Maybe we should start looking for another catchphrase. I don’t want Jaemin to catch me saying that to you either—”

“No, don’t—” Since when did speaking to her become this hard? “It’s something that we’ve been doing since we were kids. I’m not gonna change our tradition just because of one asshole that you happen to like.”

A silence, then a chuckle. “Seems like you’re back to your old self again. I was beginning to worry. All right then, let’s keep it that way. I’ll just have to be more careful.” He could tell that she was smiling all the way when she said her sentences.

“When will you be back?” I miss you. “I want to see you.” I want to hold you. “We haven’t really talked these days.”

“Oh, umm…” She sounded so apologetically soft, so quiet, so out of his reach. “Jaemin actually just asked me to go somewhere with him, but I’ll be back soon. Is there something you need?”

He curled his fingers. “Nothing important. It can wait.”

“Great. Oh, Jaemin just called, I gotta—”

“Stop saying his name.”

When a small gasp came from the other line, Donghyuck raised his head, startled by his action. “I mean,” he cleared his throat, his stomach doing somersaults. “It’s just—” He couldn’t think of anything fast enough. “You’re right. I’m sorry for taking your time.”

“Oh, no, it’s…” A pause, which struck like a hurricane. “It’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?”

“Sure.” But he didn’t hold her on her promise, because she now belonged to someone else.

He just had to get used to being alone.

***

It was the color of eerie black, the denim jacket that he wore above his white shirt as he prepared himself for his date. Donghyuck had cut his hair short, ran his fingers through his bangs so they no longer covered his eyes, and sprayed the new bergamot perfume he bought around his neck.

He didn’t notice it at first, but he had become more popular in school for the past few months, after being a vocalist in a band and performing during the school festival. Girls were approaching him, asking from what class he was, wanting to know whether he wanted to hang out with them from time to time and it felt weird, although he had been quite popular back then too, it was more because he was the funny kid—not the hot kid in school.

So eventually he started going on dates, and every time he managed to spend a day with a girl, he’d come home to brag about it to his neighbor, wanting to evoke a reaction but what came out of her was only a small chuckle and a shake of her head, “What are you talking about? You’re just a boy. You know nothing about girls, let alone going on a date with one.” And he would drop the topic, fuming for the rest of the day.

“There.” He straightened his jacket, gazing at his reflection in the standing mirror. “New day, new beginning, Hyuck. You can do this.”

You can forget her and move on.

So he checked on his phone, noticing a new chat just popped up under the name of the stranger he had been seeing for two weeks, and felt his heart beating as steady as usual. Everything felt the same. Even after he’d kissed her for the first time, intertwined his fingers with hers as they walked from one cafe to another, or hearing her laugh over his words even when he didn’t try to be funny—everything felt the same. So… plain. Unexciting. And after two weeks had passed by, meeting this stranger—the girl with the auburn colored hair, crooked teeth, and waist thinner than most—began to feel like a chore.

No, you said you’d do this. You said you’d move on from her.

“Ah, Haechannie!” The way his childhood friend immediately smiled upon his presence, waving a hand back and forth as if they were long lost companions instead of neighbors, almost made him stop in his tracks. “You’re going somewhere? You look so nice!”

His resolution faltered as simple as that. Only by the sound of her voice calling his name, only by her contagious grin creeping to his face, only by simple praise that made his stomach flip most delightfully.

“What do you mean, I look nice? I always look nice.” Donghyuck was proud of himself to be able to conceal his feelings most of the time, and not actually acting like a blushing seventeen-year-old boy with the hugest crush on his childhood friend that he was.

She took her time analyzing him and for the first time in his life, he began to fidget on his feet, swallowing his breath.

“Stop staring at me, you’re making me feel weird.”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re this big,” she said, her eyes sparkling in amazement. “Like, I know we’re neighbors but we’ve been busy dealing with our own things these days so I haven’t really taken a closer look at you but man, look how much you’ve grown. You’re way taller than me now.”

“Yeah, if you weren’t too busy playing tonsil hockey with that fucking Na Jaemin all the time, you would’ve noticed.”

“Indeed.” She looked amused, even proud somehow. “But I got to make-out and stuff. What have you done so far, cherry boy?”

He clenched his jaw, jealousy coursing through his veins. He tried to shove the picture of Jaemin running his hands all over her body—her perfect body—to the back of his head and he thought he did a remarkable job at it. But when he smiled, his eyes didn’t follow through.

“None of your business,” he simply said, tucking his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and walked away. “I’m going on a date. See you later.”

“You’re going on a date?!” She shrieked, eyes wide. “With who?”

“A pretty girl.”

She took a hold of his hand, stopping him from walking further. “Is this the girl you’ve been seeing for the last two weeks?”

He didn’t realize she kept count. “Yeah. What about it?”

“Nothing, I was just…” She awkwardly shrugged, her fingers hanging loosely around his arm. “Just curious, that’s all. So, like… Do you like her? What’s her name?”

It was almost possessive the way she asked the questions which on one hand, made him feel happy, hoping that she was jealous about it, but on the other hand, also pissed the hell out of him because if she was indeed jealous—if she ever felt the same way as him, even if only slightly—why did she go to Jaemin’s arms instead of his?

“Her name,” he glanced at her with lifeless eyes, “is Miss None-of-Your-Fucking-Business.”

Her smiled dropped instantly. “What is your problem? I just wanted to know—”

He knew he had the worst temper and patience in the world when it came to her, and he was not always like that before. Ever since the feelings he harbored for her grew bigger and bigger with each day passing by no matter how hard he tried to make himself fall in love with somebody else, he grew even more anxious, even less patient, and he hated the way he’d become.

But he couldn’t help it.

“Want to know what?” He asked, now facing her, circling his long fingers around her wrist and raising it in the air. “What do you want to know, exactly? It’s not just her name, is it? You want to know the things I do with her too? Want to know how I feel for her?”

Her eyes began to shake, frantically trying to understand him. “What—why are you so upset?”

“I’m not, I—” He sighed with a groan coming from the back of his throat, letting her go before he massaged his temple. I’m just so stressed out knowing how clueless you are of both your own feelings and mine. “Look, I gotta go. I’m running late.”

When he walked away, taking just about three steps ahead, she shouted. “Haechannie!”

He turned his head around, just enough to see her smiling softly at him. “This weekend,” she said, “Spend time with me this weekend. Please.”

“Noona, I—”

“I miss you.”

Just like that, she had him wrapped around her fingers again. It’s not fair. You’re not fair. You can’t keep doing this to me. But he smiled back, his gaze growing gentle, almost longing. “Then I’ll see you this weekend.”

He was in a fight he knew he’d lose every time.

***

It was coral pink, the color of the girl’s lip cream but he felt it pressed against his lips before he could see it properly. He felt his collar being tugged as his body was pushed further into her room, hasty hands pushing the jacket off his shoulders.

“You smell so good,” she said, giggling as she brought his bottom lip between her teeth. “And you look so fucking hot in this outfit.” Donghyuck hit the back of his knees against her bed and tumbled down onto her sheets, with his self-proclaimed girlfriend following shortly after.

“Wait—” he said, his eyebrows joining together in the middle from feeling both confused and uncomfortable. “What about your parents—”

“They’re not home,” she said in a rush, climbing onto his lap. “And I want you.” She tangled her lean fingers around his locks, pulling his head back to expose more of his neck. “I’ve been wanting you for so long, Hyuck,” she gasped, her mouth latching on his skin, tasting his bergamot perfume with her tongue. “And we’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”

A little more than two weeks had passed since they first went on a date, and he really thought he could like her but whenever he closed his eyes during the kiss, his mind would start acting on its own, morphing her face to someone more familiar. Someone who could pull on his heartstrings and play with them only by the sight of her smile.

It felt wrong. All of this felt wrong. But he said he’d move on, he promised himself he would, and this was one of the ways to do it.

“You seem distracted,” she moaned softly against his ear, pressing her hips against him. “Am I boring you?”

He didn’t say a word and instead forced himself to kiss her better. He held her by the nape, angling her head to the side, and she sighed against his mouth, hooking her fingers around his silver necklace to pull him even closer.

Donghyuck was lost deep in his thoughts, and his heart just wasn’t there, but he didn’t push her away. She spread her legs and tangled them around his waist, pressing herself down until she could feel the zipper of his jeans grazing against her underwear. Donghyuck hissed under his breath, not agreeing with how his body reacted on its own and she grinned against his lips, guiding the hands he reactively laid around her waist to move further down her body.

“Touch me here,” she begged, taking his right hand and slipped it under her shirt, pushing her breast against his palm. Donghyuck let out a heavy breath as he let her tongue slipped past his lips and he closed his eyes again because that was the only way that this could all feel right to him.

Noona…

But no matter how good her touches felt on his skin, guilt was the only sensation he could feel in his heart. The more they kissed, the more he realized that she was not her, and she could never be her. He couldn’t smell the scent of strawberries from her hair. He couldn’t hear the cute giggle she made when his jokes got to her head. And no matter how they seemed physically similar—the look of her hair, the shape of her eyes, the way she dressed—he still couldn’t lie to himself and pretend she was her.

“Wait—” He pushed her gently off his lap by landing both hands on her shoulders. “Let’s stop.”

“Why?” She was upset, he could tell. “What is it?”

You’re not her. “I feel like we’re going too fast.” I don’t want you, I want her. “And what if your parents come home?” I feel sick. I need to get out of here. I need to see her.

“They won’t be home until midnight, I promise.” She had her fingers curled around his nape again. “Please, Hyuck, don’t you want me?”

She didn’t give him the chance to answer, swallowing his protest with her lips, tasting more of his mouth with her tongue. “Mmph—no—wait!” he pushed her away again, firmer this time to the point she almost toppled over. “Look, I’m not in the mood, okay?” His tone was getting harsher, which only led her to feel even more agitated.

“Why the fuck are you even here then?” She spat out, throwing her hands in the air.

Donghyuck shoved her away none too gently this time, stepping down from her bed. “I don’t fucking know,” he growled under his breath, putting his denim jacket back on. “I’m leaving.”

“What are you, gay?!” She was screaming as he stormed off, slamming her bedroom door on his way out.

***

It was the color of sunset that illuminated her face, as she sat on her porch with her knees pressed together to her chest and her spine glued to the wall. Her eyes were blank, almost lifeless as she stared into space, her previous conversation with her beloved childhood friend replaying non-stop in her head.

Does he really like her? Why didn’t he tell me anything about this? How far have they gone? Has he kissed her yet?

The heat was spreading to her cheeks at the thought of Donghyuck leaning in close, his eyes going half-lidded before he closed them entirely, his lips—his beautiful, plump lips—slightly parted in anticipation before he—

She buried her hands in her palms. What is wrong with you?! He’s practically your brother!

It wasn’t like she never thought about him as something more. She just never allowed herself to think about him that way. What they had was special—Donghyuck was special. He was her only true friend, the family that always stood by her side even when her parents didn’t. The one who noticed the simplest things about her without having to be told—like handing her a brand new sketchbook whenever she was about to run out of pages, or the way he would always take a day off school whenever she was sick in bed so he could accompany her the whole day, watching re-runs of her favorite show while munching red velvet cakes the way he knew she liked.

He was the one who could see behind her lies and excuses, and the only one who would come over to her side at any hour just to fulfill her dumb requests—even though he whined the whole time. And she knew she was special to him in some ways as well, because she was the only one who he allowed to see him cry while watching Titanic which to this day, still brought a smile to her face whenever the thought came up.

It was getting pretty distracting when puberty hit him like a truck somewhere in his first year of high school. His shoulders got broader, his jawlines became more prominent, his voice got a tad deeper, and he was getting taller and taller that she had to tilt her head upward to see his face properly during conversations. He was packing more muscles too, from all the soccer activities he did after school, turning his complexion from slightly pale into the perfect color of a sun-kissed tan. While she, on the other hand, only had two pimples appearing on her cheeks and her chest growing slightly bigger.

She adored him. To her, his existence had become such an integral part of her life that whenever she didn’t see him for a day, she would sit on her porch, counting the minutes until he walked past her house, calling her, “Noona,” with that cheeky smile on his face before he told her about his day.

That was before she dated Jaemin, though. Because after that, he became quite distant. It felt weird and slightly out of character for him to give her the cold shoulder whenever she mentioned his name, but she thought perhaps it was just a boy thing. The whole conversation about her drooling over her boyfriend was probably too boring for his ears, and Donghyuck was always straightforward with the things he wasn’t fond of so she shouldn’t have been so surprised.

Maybe he just wanted to give her the time she needed, so she could spend her days with her boyfriend—like what she was supposed to do—but she couldn’t help it that whenever Jaemin called her noona because he was also a year younger than her, the thought of Donghyuck’s teasing eyes and lopsided smiles crossed her mind.

And then the thought of him, holding another girl on his bed, his lips brushing against hers—

Ah, she mentally groaned, attempting to massage her scalp but ended up yanking on the roots of her hair. Lee Donghyuck, what am I supposed to do with these thoughts of you?

“You look like you’re going insane, honestly.”

She’d recognize that voice in a heartbeat even if she had her eyes closed and when she saw him slouching over her fence with a teasing smile painted on his lips, she nearly crumbled to the ground.

“Were you waiting for me, Noona?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised in a teasing manner, causing her to blush even harder.

“Of course not, idiot, why would I?” And the sound of his small chuckle warmed her heart. “You’re coming back pretty early. I thought you were going to spend the night with her.”

“Yeah?” He dragged open the fence, walking closer to her spot. “You were thinking about me spending a night at her place? Doing what, exactly?”

“Shut up.” She threw her sandal at him which he easily dodged before he took a seat beside her. “Did something happen on your date?”

“We had sex.”

She wasn’t sure whether it was because of the way he just casually said the words as if he was talking about the weather, or simply because he said those words at all, but she found herself frozen to her toes, her heart dropping into a bottomless pit, her chest suffocating.

“O-oh…” She gulped, bringing her eyes down to her fingers. “That’s great… I guess.”

“It was great,” he said, leaning back to press his spine against the wall as well. “But her parents came home soon after so I had to bail.”

He was still talking but she could no longer hear him, as if he was drowning in the background, his voice turning into whispers.

There was a feeling she couldn’t understand that kept appearing in her chest, sending fire to her fingertips. It felt like he was crushing her heart little by little with every word he said, choking her until she couldn’t breathe. She never felt like this before. Was it sadness that she felt—knowing that her little Haechannie was not her little Haechannie anymore? Or was it loneliness, knowing that he had someone else in his life—someone who could feel his touches, and made him feel theirs, in the way she could never do?

“Noona.”

She blinked herself awake. “What?”

“You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“I was just…” She desperately sought an answer. “I’m sleepy.”

It was a terrible lie and he could tell, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he offered her his shoulder. “Come here, then.” And she obliged, lying her cold cheek against his warmth and for the first time in her life, she began to be more conscious of everything.

Of his intoxicating scent. Of his slow breathing. Of his velvety voice sounding dangerously close to her ear.

Of his presence, entirely.

“So,” he pressed the side of his head against hers, voice turning gentle and quiet. “You’re not playing tonsil hockey with your stupid boyfriend today?”

“He had something to do, like a group project or something. And it’s fine, I needed some time alone to sort out my—” feelings. “—thoughts anyway.”

Donghyuck snorted. “Thoughts? Like, plural? You with that one brain cell of yours?”

She poked him on the side of his abs, forcing him to laugh in the way he usually did in the past. “All jokes aside though, Noona.” He sighed, staring at the way their hands were lying side by side on the wooden parquet. If only he could just move slightly… “Are you happy with him?” was the question he asked, but he actually wanted to hear the answer to Are you happier with him compared to when you’re with me?

“I think I am,” she said, and he could hear the smile in her words which ironically sparks pain to his every nerve. “I mean, it’s my first time being in a relationship so I barely know anything at this point, but… He does make me feel something in a way that no one has ever made me feel before.”

“What, like, horny?”

“That too, but—” She huffed. “I don’t know, like, he makes me feel wanted. Desired. He makes me feel pretty and I feel like I’m more confident now as a person, knowing that there’s someone out there who wants me that way, you know?”

Donghyuck stared into space, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. “But does he need you, though?” Does he need you like I do?

“Is there a difference?”

“Well, wanting you would be like he wants to hold hands with you, kiss you, touch you, be intimate with you or something but you can be replaceable as soon as he’s satisfied with you and starts wanting someone else.”

“I don’t think Jaemin is the kind of person who thinks like that.”

I don’t fucking care about Jaemin. “Yeah, I hope not. I don’t ever want you to have your heart broken.”

There was a silence that hung around them, and it started to make him feel flustered at his own words so he immediately added, “By anyone else but me. The only one who can mess with your head and your stupid heart is me. That’s like the reason for my existence—to make sure your life is a living hell.”

She smiled, taking his hand in hers, and squeezed him softly. “Yeah. You’ve always been my little devil after all.”

The word ‘my’ had a nice ring to his ears, enveloping his heart in a warming sensation, and Donghyuck blushed again, for an entirely different reason but as long as she didn’t notice, he would be fine.

***

It was ash grey, the color of his sweater that she borrowed to be worn as her sleeping attire during their sleepover at his house. It felt strange for two young adults in their primal stage of life to be sharing a room, but Donghyuck was more than pleased to offer her his bed while he slept on the floor, and his parents also didn’t mind, as long as they kept their bedroom door open.

“Final chance to back down, Noona, because I’m not stopping once we go all the way,” Donghyuck warned, suggestively raising his eyebrow, making her gulp nervously.

“I-I’m ready,” she said, nodding her head shakily a few times.

“You sure.”

“Just do it.”

“Well then, here we go.”

And as he clicked play, the movie started. It felt like it had been years since the last time they watched a movie together, sitting side by side on a carpeted floor, with a popcorn bowl on her lap, and a MacBook on his. They shared earphones, forcing them to sit as close as possible to avoid having them slipped out of their ears. Horror movies were her weakness so he always insisted to watch one of them to torture her—and also to see her cute reactions but Donghyuck scratched that off his mind—and somehow, she always ended up agreeing to it.

Donghyuck could watch every jumpscare in the movie without batting an eyelash, but his heart jumped every time whenever she clung on to him, her arms wrapping tightly against his, her head sinking at the crook of his neck, her frantic breath fanning his skin.

“What are you so scared about?” He asked, thanking God that he didn’t stutter. “It’s just a ghost of his dead girlfriend, haunting him for vengeance while singing a creepy tune as she does it.”

“Literally everything you just said!” She sobbed, her fingers clutching tightly to the fabric of his shirt, her fingernails nearly scratching his skin.

Donghyuck knew he was blushing and he hated it, and if she kept doing that, who knew what he’d become. “Let’s just stop then.”

“But you want to see this movie, don’t you—AAAH!”

His ears began to ring. “Not with you screaming like this!”

“It’s okay, I can handle this.” She puffed out her chest, taking a deep breath. “But can I hold your hand, just in case?”

It was his turn to take a deep breath. “Sure.”

It was scary, Donghyuck thought, how his mind could pay no attention whatsoever to what was showing on the screen, and instead focusing every nerve in his body on the sight of her fingers resting on top of his, squeezing them tightly whenever she was scared out of her mind.

There was a knot in his stomach, making him feel lightheaded and he tried to push the thought of lifting her fingertips to his lips and kiss them until she could think about nothing but him away from his mind.

By the end of the movie, he knew nothing about the storyline but she was bawling her eyes out. “I can’t believe I’m crying over a ghost’s background story, this is so stupid,” she said, sobbing fervently until her entire shoulders began to shake.

Donghyuck lifted one knee to his chest, laying his arms on top of it before he rested his cheek on them, He gazed at her with a pair of longing eyes, gleaming in adoration. “You’re so cute,” he sighed in a breathy voice.

Still rubbing the tears out of her eyes, she asked, “What?”

“The way you get so worked up over stupid things like this is just—cute. You’re so cute.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop saying those kinds of things to me. You already have a girlfriend. It’s not right to do this to her, even if you’re just joking around.”

Maybe it was because she seemed a bit hurt, her voice sounding strained and plaintive, or maybe it was just her line entirely but whatever it was, it made his skin crawl and he could no longer control what came out of his mouth.

“What if I didn’t have a girlfriend then?” He questioned, eyes deadly serious. “What if I wasn’t just flirting with you? What would you do if I told you I meant everything I said, every praise, every feeling I had for you?”

Her hands froze mid-air as she tried to wipe the rest of her tears away from her eyes. “What are you—”

“What would you do if I told you I loved you?” He leaned closer, brushing his fingertips against her tear-stained cheek. “Would you believe me if I say I’ve been in love with you ever since I met you?”

Silence struck like a hurricane, and there was a storm swirling in her chest. “I…” Her throats felt dry. “I, uhh…”

She looked so conflicted that it began to hurt him even when she didn’t intend to, because Donghyuck wanted her to immediately say, “I would’ve said the same thing,” straight to his face without having to trip on her words. Without her voice sounding so brittle. Without her face looking like she was about to break someone’s heart.

So he simply got up to his feet, forcing a train of laughter to erupt from his mouth. “I’m just messing with you, idiot. Stop looking at me like you got your panties in a twist, I was just kidding.”

And he expected her to be angry. Angry enough that she would shout while throwing things at his face, but instead, she broke down in tears again but smiling so widely in relief.

“I’m so glad,” she said, nearly choking on her tears. “I’m so glad you were just joking.”

He knew he wouldn’t be able to hide the pain that fleeted on his eyes, so he turned around, sinking his nails deep into his palm so he could focus on that pain instead of the one in his heart before he gathered his quilt with both arms. “Let’s just go to bed, it’s late.”

“You’re sleeping on the floor again?”

“What do you think?”

“But…” She nibbled on her lower lip. “It’s, umm, I don’t mind if we sleep together—I mean, on the bed, like, side-by-side, not—” She caught herself, shaking her head. “Anyway, it’s big enough for both of us anyway, and also…” She grew quiet, fiddling with her fingers. “I’m still so scared right now so if you could just, you know, sleep right next to me, that would calm me down a lot, I think…”

Donghyuck had his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, glaring at his ceiling, asking his Lord, why must you test me like this?

“You do know that your boyfriend would kill me if he knows I’m doing this with you, right?”

She winced, smiling sheepishly. “Can’t you just keep it a secret?”

He sighed, making sure that he had the expression that said I’m-so-done-with-all-your-bratty-requests when deep down inside, he was shaking in both excitement and fear of not being able to hold himself back.

“I’m a man too, you know,” Donghyuck grumbled, slipping himself underneath the comforter. He didn’t take off his shirt this time, unlike the other nights when he slept alone. “I could attack you in your sleep.”

“Isn’t that the very reason why we’re keeping the door open?” She giggled, though the tremble from her previous breakdown was still there. “This is actually rather exciting. It’s been years since we slept side-by-side like this. It reminds me of our good old days.”

“Yeah?” He jeered. “Remember what else we do in our good old days? We take baths together.”

“Just shut up and go to sleep.”

Donghyuck slept on his side, facing the other side of the wall while she laid on the bed with her spine pressed against the sheets and her eyes glued to his ceilings. Though she was the one who said those words, it took her forever to fall asleep. “Haechannie?”

“What?”

“You’re still awake?”

“No, this is his voicemail speaking.”

“If you’re too tired to talk, could you sing me a song or something? It’s too quiet and I can’t help remembering that creepy tune she sang every time she showed up.”

“My God, what are you, a kid?”

“You forced me to watch that, so take responsibility for it!”

“Ugh, fine,” he groaned, turning to his back with his eyes locked on his ceilings and then started to hum. She listened to it wholeheartedly, a smile popping up on her face but it didn’t stay long before she realized something.

“Are you singing the theme to Mario Bros?”

“If you even begin to complain, I’m going to kick you off the bed.”

“Right, okay, continue then.”

She listened again, prepared for the same tune, but he changed it at the last second. “I can’t believe you changed it to Spongebob’s now.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, just go to sleep!”

“Okay, geez!” Her smile became permanent on her face. “You just said the F word. Mommy’s gonna be pissed at you tomorrow.”

It ended up with them throwing playful punches and kicks under the duvet and Donghyuck laughed a lot, missing and loving every second of it because this was how they used to be—playing around like kids, messing with each other’s hair and faces. At one point, he began to hover over her, trapping her body between his arms, his knee placed on the small space between her thighs. The pendant of his silver necklace was grazing along her collar bone, making her shiver slightly from the cold.

She was sweating, her bangs sticking to her temple, and she was as breathless as he was, panting for air. It felt like time began to slow for Donghyuck the second his eyes were locked on hers, his surroundings vanishing into a blur. He was so close, too close, that he could feel her breath on his lips, could almost taste the scent of her shampoo on his tongue, and if he could just lean in…

The sound of his name tumbling down her lips in a soft, almost inaudible manner was what stopped him from pressing his lips against hers, and he was thankful because otherwise, he could’ve done it, and then everything would be ruined.

He couldn’t afford that to happen.

“Your breath stinks,” he said instead and pecked her quickly on her forehead. He immediately scrambled to his other side of the bed, shouting, “Go to sleep, you idiot,” as he gave his best effort to pretend he was sleeping.

You were so close, Donghyuck thought, you almost ruined everything. Pull yourself together.

And if I can’t have her, just let me have this moment for the rest of my life.

***

It was the color of ivory, her trench coat was as she wrapped it harshly around her body, all the while fuming in anger. Her phone was buzzing non-stop, alerting her to the new messages that arrived almost at the same time and she knew exactly who they were from.

I still can’t believe you’re choosing him over me to celebrate your birthday. - Haechannie, 09.10

We do this every year, Noona, we PROMISED to always celebrate our birthdays together. - Haechannie, 09.10

And now that you have Na fucking Jaemin giving you sloppy blowjobs as your birthday gift, you suddenly just forget about me?! How fucking ridiculous is that?! - Haechannie, 09.11

Does he even know it’s your birthday today? Did he congratulate you on it like I did? Showing up at your door at midnight, carrying the world’s most gigantic alpaca doll in my arms when it was fucking freezing outside?! Because I sure as hell didn’t see his stupid donkey face! - Haechannie, 09.12

Also, not trying to be an ass about this, but do you even know how hard it is to find a one-meter tall Alpaca doll?! Why can’t you just like teddy bears like everyone else for fuck’s sake. - Haechannie, 09.13

“Oh my God,” she groaned loudly to the air, almost stomping her feet in fury as she texted back, “I’m not ditching you, you selfish idiot! I’ll be back before dinner and then we can spend the rest of the day together so for once in your life, stop sounding like a fucking asshole!” She paused, thinking more words to add before she jabbed her thumbs to her phone screen again. “Also, I didn’t ask you to get me anything so you can take that stupid ugly doll back if you’re going to be a bitch about it because I don’t need it!”

And she pressed send. But before she could catch her breath, another response came by.

Great. Do me a favor, will ya? Don’t show up at dinner. I’m not your fucking backup plan. - Haechannie, 09.15

She was so close to smashing her phone against the wall, but the text coming from her boyfriend, telling her that he was waiting for her downstairs, made her heaved the heaviest sigh she’d ever made, shoved her phone into her purse, and stepped down the stairs with angry clicks of her heels.

The entire birthday date was a disaster for her because Jaemin was discussing something important but she couldn’t decipher a word he said. The look on Donghyuck’s face when she said she had promised Jaemin she’d go on a date with him on her birthday—how shocked and disappointed he was, not to mention furious—was the only thing that she could focus on. She kept replaying it over and over again in her head, until Jaemin took her hand and called, “Noona? Did you hear what I just said?”

And she was so terribly upset that she began to lose control of her mouth. “Don’t call me that. I have someone back home who calls me that a lot and it’s getting annoying.”

“O…kay,” Jaemin awkwardly said, pulling his hand away from hers. “I was just trying to be respectful.”

She threw her head back, sighing loudly in exasperation. “You’re right, sorry. I didn’t mean to take this out on you.” She took a deep breath, waited until she calmed down a little bit before she continued again. “I just had this fight with someone and it keeps bugging me.”

“Let me guess. Is it Lee Donghyuck again?”

She raised her head in surprise, looking at him. “What do you mean again?”

“He’s all you’ve been thinking about, for as long as I remember.”

“Yeah, because he’s like a little brother to me who annoys the hell out of me.” She rubbed her temple, feeling her energy drained. “Well, he’s not actually my brother, but he acts like one—he gets on my nerves, teases me a lot, calls me stupid all the time—”

“Why do I get the feeling that he’s more than just a little brother to you?”

She frowned. “What do you mean? You’re not listening to me—”

“Look, you know what?” Jaemin ran a hand through his hair. “I think it’s best to end this.”

“What?” She nearly dislocated her jaw. “What are you even saying—are you breaking up with me?”

“Well, you’re going to graduate soon and you told me once that you’d probably leave town for college, and with all this Donghyuck thing going on…” Jaemin sighed. “I just don’t see how this is going to work.”

***

It was the color of dark grey, the heavy clouds that hovered above the earth with thunders flashing between them. She stood in front of Donghyuck’s door, fingertips shivering slightly from the cold as she rang his doorbell. The boy came to answer shortly after, his usual gaze quickly turning into a menacing glare at the sight of her. He was about to rave over their previous fight when he noticed how she was all drenched from the rain with tears streaming down her face. She glanced up at him, murmuring his name between sobs, and Donghyuck hastily gathered her in his arms, not caring one bit how the rain seeped almost instantly to the grey Nirvana shirt he was wearing.

“Are you okay?” He attentively asked, cupping her cheek with his lean fingers. He lifted her face, examining every detail of her features, making sure she wasn’t hurt in the slightest. “Did something happen?” His voice suddenly turned gravelly. “Did he do this to you?”

She sniffled, burying her face in his chest. “Jaemin broke up with me.”

“On your fucking birthday?!”

She nodded.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Donghyuck said, almost growling as he embraced her tighter. “I’m gonna keep you company today and make sure you’re okay first, and then I’m going to kill him.”

There was no need for apologies to be exchanged, because Donghyuck already had his arms around her, drying her hair with a towel and lending her his sweater that he knew she loved. His parents weren’t home at the time, so they sat on the kitchen counters, legs dangling a few inches above the porcelain floor with a cup of hot coffee in their hands.

“This is the worst birthday in the history of mankind,” she said, slurping her coffee. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Well, there was actually this girl who got murdered on her birthday—”

“Just humor me, will you?” He chuckled and patted her hair. “But to be fair, I don’t think he’s aware it’s my birthday today. He hasn’t said anything, didn’t give me anything. I also never told him, and he…Well, he never asked.”

“And yet, you still went out with him.” He sighed, now tucking a loose strand of her hair to the back of her ear. “I know you’re an idiot, but I didn’t think you were this much of an idiot.”

She grew smaller. “Please be mean to me another day. I’m currently wounded.”

“Right, okay, come here.” He cradled her in his arms, placing his chin on top of her head. “You smell like a wet dog, by the way.”

“Thanks.” She was about to lean more to his touch when his phone began to ring.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” She questioned when he did nothing about it and when he kept quiet, she broke apart from his embrace, jumped down, and grabbed his phone from the table.

“Unknown number,” she mumbled when his ringtone stopped playing. “Wait, there’s a text.”

“Don’t read it.”

“It said aren’t you coming over.” She raised her eyebrows in question. “Is this your girlfriend?”

He yawned. “A different one.”

“What, that fast? Were you supposed to meet her? Oh my God, I’m so sorry for taking your time, why aren’t you—”

“Rather than saying that,” he took a sip of his coffee, “We should begin our revenge plan on that stupid ex of yours. I mean, I could just straight-up punch him in the face, but you already know his weakness. It’s time to strike, baby.”

She blinked, her puffy eyes soon began to gleam mischievously. “I’ve already planned it all out. Do you wanna hear it in alphabetical order?”

***

It was the color of burgundy, the quilt that covered her body when she suddenly woke up from her dream with a jolt, surprising the man who slept on the floor next to the foot of her bed.

“What happened?” Donghyuck asked, rubbing his eyes away from sleep. “Nightmare?”

Her eyes were wide when she looked back at him, gulping hard before she said, “I just had the dream.”

“What dream?”

“The dream, Hyuck.”

“Wet dream? I thought that was only for boys—”

“No, you’re not listening to me. The dream.” She threw her blanket away, scrambling back to her feet, and kneeled in front of him, taking his hand in hers. “I just met my soulmate.”

Donghyuck almost shuddered. “What?”

“It’s true, Haechannie, it wasn’t just a rumor,” she said, looking at her trembling fingers. “They said the dreams would start sometime after we turned eighteen and I saw it. I saw him. And it felt so weird. It wasn’t like a dream, it was—” Realization befell her eyes. “A memory. You were right, it was a memory—his memory.”

“Okay, wait a sec.” He held up a finger in the air. “What exactly did you see? And talk like a normal person this time.”

She nibbled on her lower lip, deep in her thoughts. “So, you know how when you’re dreaming, you can’t tell if it’s a dream? Like you’re suddenly somewhere, doing something that you can’t remember the beginning of it but it felt normal so you kept doing that, until suddenly you wake up and you start noticing how weird it really was.” Donghyuck nodded, albeit still a little unsure. “Well, this isn’t anything like that. You’re completely aware that it’s a dream—at least, I was. I remember telling myself it was a dream but now I realized it was a memory.”

“My God, you’re taking too long,” he complained. “What exactly did you see? For fuck’s sake, just tell me!”

“I was in a classroom at some school that I’ve never seen before and there was this guy who looked just about my age, sitting on the last row—just right by the window. He had the softest hair, a pair of big, beautiful doe eyes, cute thin lips, broad shoulders—”

“Hold up.” He grimaced. “You’re not talking about me, are you?”

“One of these days, Lee Donghyuck, I’m going to strangle you in your sleep, I swear to God, I will.”

“Right, apparently not then. Please, continue.”

She took another two seconds to throw ice daggers at him with her eyes before she finally started again. “He was scribbling something down on his book. And I tried to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear me. I could hear him, though, and everything else that was going on in the classroom. I could hear him hum a song before he nodded his head, looking like he just figured something out, and then he was writing things down again. I tried to reach out to him, but I couldn’t physically touch him too. I was just a bystander that saw everything—like watching a movie or something.”

“A completely boring movie, if you ask me.”

She rolled her eyes, completely ignoring him. “Then, when I blinked my eyes, I was standing somewhere else. There was this lake, so beautiful, surrounded by mountains—like the entire scenery of it was just breathtaking, and I don’t think that’s in our country so he might have traveled somewhere overseas.”

He snorted. “Sounds like an annoying rich kid.”

“Can you just—” She sighed, calming herself down. “So, I saw him there with a camera in his hands and a guitar case strapped to his back. He was taking some shots of the landscape and, uhh,” she shyly chuckled, “I know it’s too fast for me to say this, but his face when he’s concentrating—“

“Constipating?”

“Concentrating,” she corrected and Donghyuck sent her a kissy face. “The face he made when he was concentrating was so cute.”

“Ugh, enough with the lame commentary.” He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. “Why are you so sure he’s your soulmate? Sounds like just another weird-ass dream to me.”

“I can’t really explain it, but…” Her eyes turned soft, cheeks going a bit rosy. “It feels like I just found something that I didn’t know I lost—something important, something that was a part of me, even. And it just makes me feel whole, you know? It’s weird saying this when I don’t even know his name but… That’s just how I feel. Everything just clicked.”

“Huh…” Donghyuck’s tongue was protruding against the inside of his mouth as he tried to process his thoughts. It suddenly felt like his heart was being cut into several pieces, the moment his reality sank in. He didn’t realize it was that serious. Or at least, he didn’t want it to be that serious.

She squeezed his hand. “You understand how I feel, don’t you, Haechannie?”

He sent her a timid smile before he pulled her body into him, pressing his chest against hers, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. “Yeah,” he muttered softly, his lips grazing the fabric of her sweater. “I get it.” And she giggled, embracing him tighter, thinking that maybe he was just as happy as her.

She didn’t notice the way his fingers slowly curled against the back of her sweater. She didn’t notice how he deliberately pressed his lips against her clothed shoulder as he spoke so he could hide the shivers in his voice. And she didn’t notice how his eyes were shaking in the fear of losing her, how he could barely bear the pain in his chest, how his mind almost made him vomit the words he’d been dreading.

It’s okay. She hasn’t met him yet. Maybe it’s just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything.

God, please don’t let it mean anything.

***

It was a shade of purple, the color she used to paint a lavender in her sketchbook before she drew the rest of the landscape. But before she could finish painting the next thing, she sighed dreamily into the air, closing her drawing book with both hands.

“He’s in a band,” she said as they laid side-by-side on the grass, enjoying the warm sunlight on their faces and the scent of the pine trees in the garden near their homes. “Was. Or still is, I’m not sure.”

And she laughed, she always did whenever she talked about him and although the sound of it used to warm his heart, it made him struggle even more with jealousy. So he just hummed, scrolling down his Instagram feeds to distract him.

Three months had passed by ever since she had that dream, and Donghyuck was conflicted between wanting to know more or hearing none of it for the rest of his life. She had the dream every single night, reliving every single one of her soulmate’s memory—both past and present—every time she closed her eyes, and to him, she seemed more alive when she was about to go to bed, rather than after she woke up.

“I heard him sing once during his band practice when his vocalist had a sore throat. He sounded great but like, a bit hesitant, you know? Like he’s not confident with his voice.” She turned around to her stomach, staring at him with excitement in her eyes and a speck of scarlet painting her cheeks. “Well, he doesn’t sound anything like you, but I still think he’s great.”

“Good to know,” he coldly replied. She seemed to take notice of that.

“I’m sorry, Haechannie,” she said, “I must have bored you to death with all this soulmate talk.”

“Yeah, well, he’s your soulmate, not mine, so I couldn’t care any less.” He could’ve been nicer about it, but then again that wouldn’t be him.

“Well, guess what?” She landed half of her body on his stomach, knocking some of his breath with her weight but he just threw a glare in response and not pushing her away. “Somebody is having his eighteenth birthday in a month. So then, we’ll have your soulmate to talk about too.”

“Yaaay,” he weakly cheered, face flat and ignorant.

She pouted. “Why aren’t you excited about this? You’re gonna be dreaming about your soulmate! I’m excited to know who’s that lucky girl going to be.”

His chest felt heavy and it had nothing to do with the girl on top of him. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I hope she’s nice and pretty,” she said, smiling genuinely at him. “Because only the most perfect girl in this entire universe can deserve my Haechannie.”

But he didn’t want a perfect girl. He just wanted her, so why was it so impossible to ask?

“Wish I could wish the same for you,” he said, placing his phone on his chest and leaned back on his elbows so he could focus his gaze on hers.

“What do you mean?”

And he switched their positions, rolling their bodies on the grass until she had her spine pressed against the ground with him hovering above her. “H-Haechannie?”

She looked so perfect like this—trapped between his arms, her doe eyes widening in surprise, taking in his sight, her lips parted making a soft gasp of his name.

Ah, I want to make her mine. Why can’t she be mine?

He leaned down, the tip of his nose almost brushing against hers. And if he could just forget everything—their friendship, her future life with her soulmate—for a few seconds and allow himself to be selfish, he would close the gap, meeting her lips with his, bask himself in her warmth, and he would let her moan against his mouth, would caress her cheeks with his fingertips, and would just wish the time to stop so they could repeat that for eternity.

But this reality of his was not that.

This reality of his felt more like a nightmare—one that he could never wake up from.

So in this reality, he brought his lips dangerously close to her ear, and whispered, “I hope your soulmate picks his nose and eats his booger whenever you’re not looking because only then he’d be perfect for you.”

And before she could kick his abs in response, he already scrambled back to his feet, running away as if his life depended on it.

***

It was the color of cerulean blue, the scarf that Donghyuck wore around his neck because he was a bit sensitive to cold even when spring was about to come to an end.

“Let’s go somewhere,” Donghyuck said, adrenaline rushing through his veins. “Anywhere. Just you and me.”

“What, now?” She frowned, looking at the clock on her bedroom wall. It was two hours before midnight—before he turned eighteen. “But it’s late—”

“I don’t care—”

“And it’s freezing outside—”

“I’ll keep you warm.” He was already tugging on her hand, pulling her up to her feet. He wrapped his scarf around her neck and placed his beanie on her head. “I don’t have my gloves but I’ll hold your hand all the way, so no more excuses and let’s go.”

Because it might be his last chance to spend his time with nothing but her presence filling his thoughts. He dreaded the possibility of having that dream sometime after the clock struck twelve. He didn’t want his heart to be taken by someone else—let alone, a stranger. And he knew he wouldn’t dream about her because she had found her soulmate and he was not him.

And if it was true—if having that dream changed his entire perspective where he could only love that one girl for the rest of his life then…

Just let me have this moment with her, where I can still love her with all my heart, even if she doesn’t love me the same way.

“Where are we going?” She demanded as they broke past the front door as quietly as they could since her parents were sleeping in their room.

“I don’t know—I don’t care—I just—” He breathed into the night air, puffs of warm breath painting the space between them. “Anywhere is fine. I just want to be with you.”

He saw her cheeks turning scarlet but he didn’t hope for too much. It was probably just the cold playing tricks on him.

“Okay, well then,” She tightened her duffle coat around her body. “Lead the way.”

He smiled, feeling blessed for having her putting so much faith in him, even after all this time.

There weren’t many places open at that hour, and it was fine because they already felt content just from walking side-by-side under the cherry blossoms that had withered all of their flowers. The way she held his hand reminded him of their younger days, both gentle and somewhat protective—like a sister to a younger brother and it made him feel both joy and sadness because he wanted to intertwine their fingers together as lovers, embrace each other under the dim glow of the streetlight, and connect their lips together while whispering loving words between chaste kisses.

“Haechannie,” she said, snapping him out of his reverie as she stopped them both in their tracks. “Happy birthday.”

Donghyuck blinked, not realizing how two hours just passed in an instant. “I’m as old as you, already?” He sneered. “I feel so gross.”

But she didn’t laugh the way he thought she would. Instead, she was looking at him with a glint of loneliness in her eyes which made him wonder why. “I bought you something.” She rummaged her coat’s pocket before she showed a little black box the size of her palm with a red bow wrapped around it.

Donghyuck faked a gasp. “No way, you’re proposing to me? But honey, I’m already carrying your child!”

She stomped her feet on his. “Shut up and just be serious for a sec, will ya?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He chuckled but he could hear how nervous he actually was from the little crack in his voice. He took the little present with a shy, slightly awkward smile. “Can I open it now?”

“Sure, as long as you don’t mock me for it.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at her before he opened the box to find a silver oval locket necklace displayed inside it. He glanced at her. “Don’t tell me you have a picture of us taking our bath together as babies in it.”

“Interesting, but no. I did have something written on it, though.”

“Okay, but if you wrote something stupid, I will—” He froze, hands stopping mid-air after he opened the locket and read the words engraved on the silver plate.

To my first love, Lee Donghyuck.

“Okay, before you say anything,” she cut him off, fidgeting a little on her feet. “Let me explain about it first. I don’t want to come out as weird or anything because after this, we’re both going to find our soulmates and go our separate ways so let me assure you that I’m not saying I love you that way, but—”

He pulled her into his chest, wrapping both of his arms around her shoulders, his lips pressing against her hair.

“Haechannie—”

“Shut up,” he said, closing his eyes as he calmed his racing heart. “Just shut up and let me have this moment.”

She wasn’t sure whether he got her previous message but she no longer cared, because at the end of the day, he was her first love in every way—as a family, a brother, a friend, and even a lover once, though she never allowed herself to think about him like that. So she tangled her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest, and closed her eyes for as long as he would let her.

Donghyuck wanted this moment to last forever but he knew time was running out even if he tried to stand still. It would be over the second he had that dream and fell in love with someone else. It would end the day she’d meet her soulmate, treating his existence merely as a bystander in her love story.

But for now… Just for now…

“I love you,” Donghyuck whispered so softly against her hair, almost inaudible by the sound of the wind passing through their ears. “I love you, Noona. So much that it hurts.”

She chuckled, embracing him tighter. “I love you too, Haechannie.”

Then why does this feel like a goodbye?

He pulled back, pressing his temple against hers. “There’s no life without you,” he said, a shy smile forming on his lips.

She cupped his cheek, rubbing comforting circles on his skin. “There’s no life without you, Haechannie.”

***

“So, umm, thanks for today,” Donghyuck said, as he walked her back to her house, rubbing his nape awkwardly as he said it. “And thanks for the gift. I’ll treasure it.”

“You better.” She playfully punched his arm. “It was pretty expensive, just so you know.”

“More expensive than a one-meter tall made-by-order alpaca doll I bought you?”

“Sorry, I’ll take that back.” She winced, and Donghyuck chuckled a little bit under his breath, patting her head and letting his fingers linger a little longer than usual on the soft strands of her hair.

“Well…” He retracted his hand, placing them in his coat’s pocket. “Good night.”

“See you tomorrow.” And she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek at the same time he was about to do the same and their lips grazed each other, soft lips meeting softer ones in the faintest of touch but carved something deep both in their bodies and minds.

They both took a step back at the same time, startled. He was busy looking anywhere but her face, and she concealed her lips with her fingers, bringing her head down to hide her eyes underneath her bangs.

There was a silence that made his skin crawl. “S-sorry, I was—”

“No, it’s okay, I get it,” she immediately said, forcing a smile before she hastily turned on her heels, her shaky fingers searching for her doorknob. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Donghyuck still had trouble breathing. “Y-yeah, sure.”

She timidly smiled again before she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

Now that they were both out of each other’s sight, Donghyuck inaudibly cursed into the air, running a hand through his hair, feeling his heart ramming against his ribcages while she slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and pressed her spine against the back of her front door.

The thought of their brief, accidental kiss was the only thing that painted their minds even behind their closed eyelids as they laid on their beds, hoping for exhaustion to take over their bodies. Once it did, they both fall into a soundless sleep where she began to think about another pair of lips but it wasn’t the case for Donghyuck.

Because, as he fell into his first soulmate dream, he was facing the same person—the girl who owned his heart, whose lips were just as soft as he’d imagined them to be.

Noona, he spoke inside the dream, staring at the sight of her, why am I dreaming about you?

***

#haechan #lee donghyuck #nct #Haechan nct #nct127 #nct 127 #nct dream #haechan fluff #haechan smut #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios #haechan fic #haechan fanfic #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct fluff #haechan blurbs #haechan drabbles #nct timestamps #haechan timestamps #donghyuck #haechan x reader #mine #sundaysundaes

[manga-and-stuff]

Interview with the English and Japanese voice actors for Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion

TIFFANY GRANT

Some time in early 1998, Matt Greenfield encouraged me to write an essay defending Asuka from her critics. I did, and you can read it on my website. At that point, as I recall, about half Of the Eva TV series had been released on home video (two episodes per VHS about every other month for around $30).

Please keep in mind that I had only recently finished recording the TV series. There was as yet no English release of Death & Rebirth, End of Evangelion, Director's Cut Platinum Edition, and there most definitely were no proposed live-action or "Rebuild" films.

Back in 1998, I had not yet read any Of Sadamoto's manga. Having now read all Of it, I was very excited to be able to participate in this project. One especially impactful moment I experienced reading Sadamoto's books was Yuko Miyamura's own essay in volume 4, which touched me deeply. When we first met, I had her autograph it for me!

For this volume, Carl thought it might be interesting if I shared with you how my thoughts about Asuka have evolved over these many years. First, my perspective on Asuka was changed dramatically by working on EOE and even

more so by the Director's Cut footage. I said, "If these scenes had been in the TV show to begin with, people would've had a lot more sympathy for Asuka."

But the main thing that has happened since 1998 is that Neon Genesis Evangelion has become an international phenomenon. When I started recording this loud, assertive character that often swore in German, I knew I was having a great time with the role and that it was enjoyable for me as an actor. There was no way any of us could've known then what lay in store. Eva became a cult phenomenon.

The enormous popularity of Eva is, I fully understand, the primary reason I get invited to conventions around the world. In this way alone, my association with Asuka has forever altered my life.

But I also feel something deeper than the obvious frequent flyer miles is at work here. For several years, I actually denied that I was anything like Asuka—a period I refer to as my "l Am Not Spock" phase. I wrote "In Defense Of Asuka" during that time.

Once I fully embraced my "inner Asuka," I realized the many ways that I related to this complex, flawed character. In the past twelve years, I feel I have become even closer to Asuka emotionally.

I think Shinji behaves in the way that most of us actually would react, but I believe we all wish we were a little more like Asuka—speak your mind, consequences be damned!

I find that I don't just defend Asuka now. I actually admire her. I don't know how I'll feel in another twelve years, but if you don't like Asuka just a little bit, I have only one thing to say : What are you—Stupid?

YUKO MIYAMURA

To be honest, a long time ago, I used to hate Asuka and Evangelion.

If I were to comment using Asuka's words, I would hate, I hate, I hate EVERYBODY!"

As to why I felt this way, well, I think the best way to describe it is to say that it was close to the feeling of being bullied. If a person has been bullied, would they want to remember it? I don't think they would.

Acting the part of Asuka was lots of fun at first. However, as Asuka started to mentally break down, acting her become quite tough.

The part that I disliked the most was during the scene when Asuka finally understood the meaning of the A.T. field. Just when she was able to mentally become strong and confident again, she was attacked by the mass-produced units and brutalized. That time

In the film is really cool and there are lots of characters that I like in it. For Asuka on the other hand, it's the worst situation ever.

Furthermore, after that scene, she is strangled by Shinji with such apathy, and that's where the series ends. The mass-produced units, the Angels, their destiny; it just ends with all of them being defeated.

I closed the Asuka inside Of me deep within my heart. While she was inside there, I didn't really like to bring her out. Remembering my complex feelings for Asuka and Evangelion was quite hard for me, and I didn't like it.

This all changed when I first met and talked to Asuka's English voice actor, Tiffany.

Tiffany, as another person who acted as Asuka, was the only one who could understand the pain that I felt acting as Asuka. We both understood all the difficult emotions about

Asuka and her complex personality, and we talked about many things. After this, the feelings within me toward Asuka became more caring and understanding.

Even though at first I felt anger and dislike for Asuka, I now hold her close to my heart and I think of her like a daughter. Up until then Asuka had to deal with all the pain, sadness and sorrow by herself. Now it's different—I'm with her.

Today I'm a mother myself, and I'm raising my own daughter. The feelings I have for my child are similar to what I feel for Asuka. Even though it's different from my own real-life situation, Asuka is an important existence to me and I feel that I am able to accept her Into my life.

What destiny lies ahead for Asuka?

Furthermore, what choice will she make?

Whatever happens, I will accept everything about Asuka. I will cheer her on because I feel I am close to her. No matter what, I will defend Asuka.

It has been about ten years since the time when the other Units took Asuka and Shinji and tried to strangle her. Now, a new Evangelion has begun!

In the new movies, the once-complex Asuka is now happier. I'm excited to see how Asuka stands and faces her destiny in the new movies, compared to Asuka's fate from ten years ago of being defeated.

If I were to say a comment in the new movie in Asuka's words, it would be: "You hurt my pride... I'LL GIVE IT BACK TO YOU TEN TIMES WORSE." I like this confident side of Asuka.

Whatever becomes of Asuka in the world of Eva, I will always love Asuka the most!

Source: Neon Genesis Evangelion | Shin Seiki Evangerion | 新世紀エヴァンゲリオン

by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto

#Shin Seiki Evangerion #Yoshiyuki Sadamoto #Manga and Stuff #Mangacap #Manga #Art #Genesis Evangelion

[tinawriting]

Prince Charming (G.W)

Pairing: George Weasley x fem!reader

Requested: Yes/No

Navigation

Summary: George’s thoughts on being in love with one of his closest friends.

Warnings: swearing, not proofread, my english

A/N: It’s implied that the reader is a Gryffindor but it doesn’t matter to the story. Also, is George’s pov. I’m actually kinda proud of this :’)

Word count: 1.6k

“I love you Y/n,” he said to her looking directly at her eyes, those beautiful, beautiful eyes, “and I love you,” she said back, George has never been happier. The love of his life reciprocated his feelings! He could feel heat warming his entire body just from having her in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned in to kiss her pretty lips...

“GEORGE!”

George groaned and burrowed his face on the pillow, thinking about how this was another night dreaming about her and how he was about to kiss her if not for his stupid twin screaming at him.

“The fuck do you want mate?” He asked groggily, voice rough with sleep. “I was having a good dream.” He sat up rubbing the sleep off his eyes. “Yeah, I noticed by the way you were mumbling Y/n’s name,” said Fred with a smirk while crossing his arms in front of his chest, that woke him up. “What? Do I really talk on my sleep?” He asked nervously, the smirk on Fred’s face grew wider. “No, but now I know I was right, now get your ugly arse out of bed if you want breakfast and clean your face if you don’t want to scare Y/n away, or maybe go like that and she might give me a chance.” Said Fred winking. George rolled his eyes and threw a shoe at his brother’s head, the latter dodging it in time and getting out of the room with a loud laugh.

He got out of bed and went to the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror, he is attractive, a lot of girls had said so, even Y/n. She always compliments him, but she also compliments all of her friends, that just how she is. He is funny, he really is, he can always make people laugh even without the presence of his twin, she always laugh, but she laughs at everything with that extremely contagious and unattractive laugh that makes everyone around her laugh more, he loves seeing her laugh, the ways her eyes become smaller and her smile wider, and the times she throws her head back exposing her beautiful neck are his favorites. She is always shining on her own, she doesn’t need him, she doesn’t want him, at least not the way he wants her. He is okay with it though, he loves being her friend and enjoys the moments she chooses to be with him.

He shook his head trying to get those thoughts out of his mind, he washed his face with cold water and went down to the common room, to his surprise, she was there sitting in one of the chairs staring at the fire.

“What a pretty girl like you is doing here all alone?” He said with a smirk watching as her eyes left the fireplace and focused on his, a small smile appearing on her face and then a smirk to match his. “Oh, I was just here waiting to see if my Prince Charming would come down the stairs to take me to breakfast!” She said exaggerating a posh accent and fluttering her eyelashes faking a sweet smile. George resisted the urge to follow the game and asked in confusion. “But Fred is already there isn’t he? Why didn’t you go with him?” She looked down at her lap, was she blushing? It sure was a lightning thing.

“I wanted to go with you, don’t tell Fred because it’ll break his heart but you are my favorite,” she looked up at him again and sent him a cheeky wink, he tried to calm his aggressive heartbeat while she stood up and went in the direction of the portrait hole, George on her heels.

They seated down on the Gryffindor table next to each other, Lee and Fred in front of them, looking at his left he saw Y/n taking a toast and pouring tea on a cup, her delicate fingers curled around it and took a sip, her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of the warm liquid against her lips, her beautiful slightly chapped moving lips... moving? She’s talking!

“What was that love?” He asked her trying to actually listen to her this time. She sighed and put down her cup. “I said, do you guys have quidditch practice today?” She told him slowly like talking to a child who’s going to have a stroke if you speak to them too fast. “Yes,” he said. “Why? Are you going to cheer on us? Or maybe flash us to disturb our practice?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. That brought out a laugh out of her and George has never been so proud of himself. “No,” she said still laughing, “I wanted to ask you if you would study with m... give me moral support, as you don’t study, at the library but I guess I’ll go alone.” She said it so casually, why does she look so disappointed? Does she wants him there with her? Just to be there? And just him? Certainly she didn’t look at Fred while she was saying it, maybe...

“I’ll go,” George whipped his head so fast he swears his neck just broke. “Are you sure Lee? Don’t you want to watch the guys practice?” Y/n asked looking at the boy across from her who shrugged. “Nah,” he said waving a hand dismissively, “I have this essay for McGonagall I need to finish and I’d really like to go with you if you’re going to flash me,” he said winking at her and she laughed throwing a piece of toast at his head, Y/n smirked and leaned forward. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

George felt as if his veins were on fire, how dare he? He knows he likes Y/n, he knows she’s off limits. Although, he’s never admitted that he likes Y/n, Fred knows, of course he knows, it’s like they can read each other’s minds sometimes, but Lee must know, he thinks he is so obvious about this crush that even McGonagall knows. Should he tell Lee? But why should he tell him? It’s not like George has a chance with Y/n, does he? and if she wants to be with Lee then George will let them be happy, get married, have kids and grow old together while he cries his eyes out at night and spends the rest of his life adopting cats and taking care of a hounded plants like an old lady, maybe he could...

“Georgie?” A soft voice asked, and when he look up he saw those eyes that would be the death of him. “Are you alright? I was just saying goodbye but you zoned out there.” Merlin, he has to stop thinking about her all the fucking time, or else she’s going to realize his massive crush on her. “I’m fine Y/n, just tired, good luck.” He said with a small smile, she thanked him and walked away with Lee.

“You have to do something about it mate,” he heard his twin say across the table. “She clearly likes you, you like her, I don’t see the problem here.” George sighed and thought about it for a second, he could tell her, and if he rejects him maybe he could play it off as a prank, yeah, he could tell her.

He definitely could not tell her.

He just couldn’t, after practice and a well deserved shower he went to the Gryffindor common room to get some rest when he saw her by herself in a couch with a piece of parchment, her brow furrowed and looking quite concentrated, he approached her and gave her a little tap at her shoulder. She startled and look up at him. “Fred! you just can’t scare me like that.” She said. George frowned at her and then smirked. “Can’t even tell us apart anymore can you, love?” Realization flashed across her face and she let out a chuckle. “Fuck George, I’m sorry, I’ve been reading this for so long I can’t see straight anymore.” She said pointing at the parchment in her lap. He sat down and wrapped an arm around her frame, their thighs and sides touching, with his free arm he took the parchment and started reading it, completely missing the longing look the girl shoot in his direction.

“I think this is pretty good Y/n, stop stressing.” He said rubbing her arm. She groaned and laid her head on his shoulder. “Thanks Georgie, I feel like I haven’t stop this last months and it’s driving me mad.” George looked at her and sent her a cheeky smile. “Maybe I can snog you and distract you.” He said before winking at her. “Why don’t you?”

What?

“What?” He said with wide eyes, did she just really...? “Shit, sorry George, I- fuck, I thought you were- I mean I’m a little confused because I haven’t slept in days and I’m stressed and-”

But she didn’t get to finish what she was about to say because he leaned in and press their lips together. She wasn’t kissing him back and George felt his heart sank, he tried to pull away but then he felt a hand reaching across his neck and grabbing his hair, pulling him closer and he started to wonder if he died in quidditch practice and he was actually in heaven.

After what could have been a minute or a year, they broke the kiss. “So you are my Prince Charming.” She said breathlessly and with pink colouring her cheeks, but that didn’t take away the teasing tone, which brought a laugh out of him. “Shut up.” He said chuckling and leaned in again, smiling into their kiss.

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