Have an outline for a fic I may never write:
some background: the year is 2012, and everything is Avengers. People still write these (❤️ u), but it's the golden age of avengers tower fics. Everyone is friends in messy dramatic ways, overpowered oc's abound and it's fabulous.
This is also the golden age of Loki drama. It started with Thor, but ramped up with Avengers. The discourse was usually "Loki is entirely Evil mcEvil" vs "Loki is my perfect shmoopy-poo, and Thor is a Murderous Meanie"
I'd settled (& found others too) on "Loki DEFINITELY killed people but he was also obviously under duress." I'd recently read some early Diana Wynn Jones (Dogsbody and Eight Days of Luke), I was listening to a lot of Florence and the Machine (Heartlines) and somehow all of that blended to create...this tropey monstrosity. I just didn't have the skill to sit down and bang it out, and I still don't really
(tw for...well Loki's mental state at the end of Thor did not exactly get better by Avengers.)
This is part one|
We start out directly after Avengers, with Thor bringing Loki home to Asgard to face judgement.
Imagine Loki, before the dias in the throne room of the palace of Asgard. It's fall, there is an occasional chill breeze.
Odin, Frigga, and Thor are on the dias above him. The rest of the court behind him. Loki himself in chains.
Odin has described the charges against Loki, and has asked, each time, if Loki had anything to say.
Each time, Loki has remained silent.
He has nothing to say for himself. He's not sorry for trying to conquer Earth. Thanos is coming for them all, and they don't deserve a warning.
In the jumble of grief over losing the approval of the man he once called his father (if he ever had it in the first place), his madness inducing fall through multidimensional space, capture and manipulation by Thanos, and use of an infinity stone, his "crimes" are small potatoes to him. He can't muster the energy to care.
Finally, Odin asks if there is anyone willing to speak in Loki's defense, or on his behalf in regards to his character or extenuating circumstances.
Thor, grief stricken and angry, looks away.
But from the crowd, someone does volunteer: Baldur. Not the wet blanket of the comics, but the closest thing Asgard has to a real lawyer, and someone who grew up with Loki. They have similar fighting styles, and spent a lot of time together as kids.
We get an inside look at Loki's head and discover that this (for reasons that will be revealed later) is, in Loki's opinion, the WORST turn of events. Loki despises Baldur. Baldur obviously does not share Loki's antipathy, and Loki hates him even more because he should.
Despite Loki being uncooperative, Baldur and Frigga argue for leniency.
The closest Loki comes to breaking his silence is when Frigga kneels before Odin to beg for her son's life.
It's granted. Loki is free within the realm of Asgard, but his magic is dampened by what's basically a magic handcuff.
And, because he refused to speak at his trial, he is forbidden by magic to speak within the realm of Asgard.
After this opening, we get into Loki's new life. He's shiftless, depressed, and doesn't want to be here.
He stays in his rooms for the most part. Frigga visits. Thor does not.
Eventually Loki's habits of wanting to get into everything slowly resurface. He's persona non grata in the court. People don't trust him, and mostly ignore him. The exception is Hodur, Baldur's brother, who really does hate Loki, and makes Loki's life miserable whenever possible.
It's not like Loki can say anything.
There is some recovery as Loki goes back to something he used to do as a boy --helping in the stables.
It's hard work that he's no longer used to. And the enchantments binding his words and his magic are affecting his health: he gets dizzy sometimes. A tremor in his hands.
It is a reason to haul himself out of bed at the same time every day.
It is a long winter caring for the horses. One of the mares has a difficult pregnancy, but under Loki's care, Ashes and Ember are born healthy, and spring comes.
Slowly, in small ways, Loki and the Warriors Three make amends, mostly through visits to the stables.
Loki and Thor's old friend and tutor Amora the Enchantress visits. She asks some very interesting questions about Loki's magic handcuffs. Namely, WTF --they are, apparently, pretty overkill --but also, eventually, about Loki's health.
Loki hasn't put much thought into it because his mental health has improved tremendously by not being in Thanos' direct thrall + regular work + a dose of silence being good medicine, but over spring, as people who were once prince Loki's friends become familiar with Loki the very good groom, it gets confirmed: he looks like shit. Is he sick?
It's not the handcuffs --they're only designed to suppress the wearer's magic. He could probably still shape-shift, Amora explains, but that wouldn't affect the cuffs.
Loki gives her a look. He never could shape-shift anyway.
Shape-shifting requires you to pass through your true shape each time, Amora explains. Loki the Asgardian can't shape shift. He already is shapeshifted. Loki the Jotunn could.
Loki's not too keen on this, to put it mildly. His head may be clearer but he still harbors a deep self hatred for being Jotunn. He was raised Asgardian, and the Aesir consider the Jotunn lesser at best, savage monsters at worst. Every day Loki lives he lives a lie, and it's not one of his choosing.
The symptoms Loki displays look more like...well they look like a blood curse of some kind, but that can't be right because if it's a blood curse it's older than Loki is and...blocked somehow, as if someone else is suffering part of it, or part of it has already been fulfilled.
Meanwhile, Thor is sick with guilt over having turned away from Loki --symbolically giving up on him during the trial. Especially now that he sees, from a distance, Loki's progress.
It drives home once again how thoughtless and self centered Thor has been over the ages, that it was Thor himself who was, directly and indirectly, telling Loki that his only value came from being prince and heir, that Loki the person wasn’t worth anything. So that when Loki realized he would inherit nothing and that he wasn't a prince of Asgard he lost his sense of self, and started scrabbling for things to make him worthy...much like Thor himself had
Sometime in this time, Thor finally puts together something that he noticed but didn't comprehend during Loki's trial: Baldur carries Mistilteinn.
When Mjolnir was made, a companion weapon was made for Loki: Mistilteinn, a dagger as well suited for Loki as Mjolnir was for Thor. Only Thor received a ceremony, but he'd never really noticed that Loki didn't carry the princely weapon he deserved. How did Baldur have it?
When Thor goes to find out, he catches Hodur harassing Loki. It's escalated, and Thor intervenes, bodily dragging Loki to the healers afterwards.
Why didn't he say anything? Thor wants to know.
Loki only gives him an ironic look. It's not like Loki could have. It's not like Thor would have cared.
Thor does. At one time it was Loki who rejected Thor. But what recent evidence does Loki have that Thor wouldn't reject him?
This is also where Thor realizes that Loki was acting under threat of torture just as much as willingly conquering Earth. Those burn marks weren't there before.
The story of Mistilteinn is this: the drinking at the ceremony celebrating Thor as crown prince got a little out of hand. Loki, pleased for Thor but still struggling with resentment and the blow at being...pretty much ignored even though part of the royal family, had reacted badly when his childhood companion Baldur had thought to console him.
Baldur asked for Mistilteinn, the weapon that had almost killed him, instead of publicly humiliating his friend, and never revealed what happened except to Odin and to his brother, who found him injured, alone, with Loki nowhere to be found. Loki took this as in deference to Thor's special day, and deeply resented it. Hodur held a grudge for Loki almost killing his brother.
Loki has a vision and comes to realize that Thanos can and probably will track him down for his failures, realizes that he does in fact care if Asgard gets flattened, shapeshifts into his Jotunn form and leaves Asgard for Jotunheim.
Loki reveals that the spell keeping him silent has worn off by whispering a goodbye before he slips through a gate in the world-tree's branches
Baldur reveals that he enchanted Mistilteinn in much the same way Mjolnir was: if Loki should voluntary bear the consequences of harm that he caused another and make amends, the dagger will return to it's rightful owner.
2 notes
·
View notes
I know it's 2024 and nobody cares anymore (I hope), but I finally watched Adam Driver's latest interview about Star Wars that he made about two months ago and I felt like commenting on it, because why not?
Quite frankly, I don't know why anyone is so surprised. What he said, essentially, is something we already knew: that there was no Great Plan on the sequel trilogy and that Kylo Ren was originally conceived as an unsympathetic, irredeemable character that got popular against the production's intentions.
Mind you, I'm not happy about any of this. But surprised? Nah. In fact, my only consolation is that I sensed bullshit all the way back in 2018, when I looked at Kylo Ren's haunted face and thought "this is gonna be another Loki: rooting for him will only end in heartbreak". Then the Rise of Skywalker happened, and it was so bad that basically turned me into a Kylo -and yes, even Reylo- fan overnight. As I said many times, the shortest way to make me love a character is to treat them unfairly. It doesn't matter to me if they are "good" or "bad": fiction isn't reality and it doesn't follow the same rules. In fiction, the most important thing is to be consistent: among other things, you have to make sure you follow up to all the things you've planted beforehand (unless, of course, there's a theme about incompleteness or something).
I was angry on his behalf for a good while, I can only imagine feeling like this for years. I said before that I got the feeling Ford had basically improvised the whole scene with Adam Driver, but now I'm wondering if maybe he was also the one who pushed for Kylo's redemption too. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised. Somebody had to point out that people watch Star Wars for the Skywalker family, hoping they get a happy ending.
How the fuck could the whole production be shocked that redemption -especially redemption for a Skywalker- was Star Wars' big theme? Especially AFTER they decided to make a sequel trilogy NOBODY had asked for? I guess this is what happens when a franchise gets lost in too much lore and details, or huge space fights.
Anyway, I'm sorry for Driver because it's clear they wasted his talent, but on the bright side, it put him on the map and now we can enjoy him in more projects.
25 notes
·
View notes