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#nyx angst
turtledovenycx · 6 months
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Work Pressure (B.C)
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🎧The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather
“No, you don’t understand,” he said his cool fingers finding your warm skin and raising goosebumps. “I missed you, I missed being close to you.” 
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧
𝐭𝐚𝐠: 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧! , 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭🔞
𝐖.𝐂 𝟑.𝟐𝐤
ꜱᴍᴜᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ. ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅɴɪ
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢-𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲), 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐣𝐨𝐛, (𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐯) 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐩 𝐢𝐭), 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐍𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱. (𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐦𝐭𝐡𝐧.)
_
Soft tunes could be heard despite Chan wearing headphones. It was past working hours at the JYPE building, the only people left putting in some extra hours of practice, production, or the cleaning crew for the night. Worried your boyfriend would skip his dinner for the nth time you had shown up with dishes from his favorite place - you reckoned he deserved a treat after working so hard for days. 
After the man was well-fed and rested his eyes with a power nap on your lap he wanted to get back to work. 
“Is it gonna take long baby?” you had asked, settling down on the sofa, his jacket as blanket knowing you might be in for a long night. 
“An hour or so love…. I’m sorry but I have to finish this.” 
“It's okay, I might do some work too later but I’ll just chill here if that’s alright.”
“Don’t wanna go home?” he asked getting up from your lap, leaning to kiss you before he adjusted his jacket on you. 
“I’ll be alone,” you said he kissed your forehead before going back to his system, sitting down he glanced at you once before putting his headphones on partially covering one ear in case you needed something. 
.
It has been two hours almost, you had fallen asleep in the initial 45 minutes waking to see Chan slumped over, his shoulders looking like they hurt, staring at his computer as the lines kept moving, the glare from the screen painted his face in blues. The only source of light was from his desktop. Chan had barely moved from that position except to turn the lights off to let you sleep, and you felt bad. 
He did not register you getting off the couch and stretching, so he was startled when you touched his shoulder. His palms fly to overlap yours, 
“You scared me,” he said taking the headphones off,  neck resting on the headrest as he looked up at you. 
“It's been two hours.” you reminded him running your fingers through his curls before massaging his forehead and temples. Chan hummed the throbbing pain in his head subsiding from your fingers. You massaged his head, his sinuses finally working your way to the knot on his neck his head fell forward a groan falling out of his lips.
“How about we stop? Hmm?” you asked as he pulled you to stand in front of him, your hands still on his shoulders. 
“I need to get this done.” he sadly voiced head leaning forward to rest on your tummy as you ran your fingers through his hair he hugged your lower half sighing. This week was tough there was too much to do. Chan just wanted to sleep without worrying in his bed in the arms of his girlfriend. 
A few frustrated tears left his eyes and your eyebrows furrowed in worry. 
“Baby?” you asked holding his face, he closed his eyes not willing to see you yet, but his actions were contradictory as he pulled you into his lap. A gasp left you but you recovered, palms holding his face as he cried. Salty tears stained your necks and shoulders as Chan let out quiet sobs. 
You just let him cry, he needed it but it broke you to see him hurt. This man carried his job and responsibilities on his broad shoulder but wore his heart on his sleeves. 
“I...I am so sorry. I’m sorry…. Sorry.” he repeated and you were beyond confused, slowly you coaxed his face from your neck to look at you, his eyes opened.
“Why are you apologising?” you asked wiping off his tears and cradling his face, he sniffed and you grabbed a tissue for him. After he caught his breath you kissed his forehead, his red nose his cheeks his eyes. The dark eye bags were prominent and you hoped your kisses would ease his fatigue. 
“Don’t say sorry baby. Talk to me,” you asked holding his face as he wrapped his hands around your waist. 
“I’m such a shitty boyfriend. I can’t even finish one track and I’m scared. I’m letting the team down.” His eyes were downcast as he spoke.
“What no..” you tried but he shook his head. 
“It’s too much, I can’t make it past this one verse. Nothing is perfect, and I was too harsh on Jisung today. He got so mad and left. I’m tired y/n. And I’m troubling you.”
“Wait, troubling me?” 
He nodded opting to hide his face in your neck, “You're alone at home, you are sleeping on my studio couch you deserve better baby. I’m so so-”
“Don't you dare say sorry again Bang Christopher Chan ” you unintentionally raised your voice. At the mention of his full name, he stiffened.
“I know it's been a tough week for you. But don't for a second think that you have been anything but the best boyfriend. Channie, you are tired and you’re frustrated and you made some mistakes. But you are still trying and putting in the work. You have a lot on your mind and you just need a break baby.”
“But I-”
“Ssh…. all of you are tired and overworked. It's probably why Jisung reacted that way, he still loves his Channie hyung. He is the one who texted me telling me you had a bad day that's why I came to cheer you up, I fell asleep because I had an early start today that’s all.”
He hummed hugging you as you spoke in hushed whispers. 
“Chris, baby I need you to know something. Yes, I am alone at home on some days and it does hurt me but I will never hold that against you, I love you and your work. I’m so proud of you baby you still work like a dog even after reaching so many people with your music, you’re consistent, hard-working, and fucking dedicated. I love that about you, don’t ever think that you are a burden to me. I would gladly spend days on this couch if it means I can spend my time with you. I’m worried I might disturb you!"
“No, no you made my day,” he said wiping tears.
“Then you have to believe that seeing you makes my day too. Even if I have to sleep on a couch. I don't mind it I love sleeping on the couch it's so comfy actually. Oof that Spotify dust-covered pillow don’t you just love the smell of dust,” you joked hoping to get a smile out of him. It did, his tired face broke into a smile, a small laugh escaping his lips. 
“So don’t you ever tell nonsense like that, tell that stupid voice in your brains to shush. You are doing so well. I’m really proud of you.”
“I love you.” he breathes into your neck.
“I love you,” you emphasize with a kiss on his cheek. Then without stopping, you placed loud kisses around his face, mwah mwah mwah! 
He giggled before begging you to stop 'okay okay okay... Okay, stop.' You pulled away to look at him, worn out he was still so handsome and you missed this, you missed him so much. Chan did too which he expressed by pulling you in for a long kiss. His lips were dry, you wet with your saliva as they moulded with each other, you held his face leading the kiss palm holding his cheeks. He lazily licked your lips before you parted yours to let his wet muscle into your mouth. The kiss was heating up, softly still. He detached and reattached your mouths. Again and again and again and without thinking a small moan slipped passed his mouth. 
“Sorry,” he gasped when you pulled away. You pulled his face back and bit his bottom lip it didn't hurt he felt a sharp sting. “What did I tell you about apologising Chris?” you questioned hands gripping his hair and pulling his head back
“Mm.” he groaned as your lips found the column of his neck. “Don’t apologies.” you say as you bite his neck.
“I miss you,” Chan said tongue tracing behind your ear before his teeth grazed it, drawing a whimper out of you. “I miss you too,” you say his hand began to wander further, from your shoulders to your waist as they raised the hem of your sweater wanting to feel your skin slipping his big palms in. 
“No, you don’t understand,” he said his cool fingers finding your warm skin and raising goosebumps.
“I missed you, I missed being close to you.” 
“Haa..ah Chriss.’ you whined as he traced along your back simultaneously creating love bites.
“Me too,” you whispered lips finding his. Your sweater moved up as it got lodged on his forearms. This kiss was less comforting, it was more of an ‘I miss you’ passionate kiss, he held your hair to angle your head to his liking, you melting at the touch as his tongue traced patterns in your mouth.  
“Mm I want you princess..” he whispered onto your lips as his hands adjusted your thighs so that you were properly straddling his lap, you could feel his hardening cock through his pants. 
“Here?” you questioned, both of you satisfying each other regardless of the time and place was not something foreign but in his company where someone might walk in, it was unprofessional and would cause a lot of problems for him. 
“Please.” he pleaded, his hands now under your outfit palms inching towards your breast
“Please…” he emphasized as he squeezed your breasts over your bra, being touch starved you let out an embarrassingly loud moan. 
“Someone might hear us..” you say hands in his hair as he begins to grind up into you.
“Recording room,” he said breaking the kiss as the two of you looked at the overly huge sunglass thingy inside the soundproofed room with a glass window. You looked back at Chan who looked like he would almost cry- for different reasons this time. 
“Fuck.. okay.” you had barely finished speaking when Chan rose from the chair holding you. 
“Chri-is” you gasp as he hiked you higher holding your thighs and plush lips sucking where your neck meets your shoulder you moved your head away inviting him to kiss and bite more. 
Somehow, he managed to open the door and plop you down before he turned to close it, propping a chair on the knob. It was dark as none of you bothered to turn the lights on. Chan reached for the switch but you stopped him. 
“No lights please,” you begged kissing his swollen lips before moving down his neck careful not to mark his skin for PR reasons. 
“But, I want to see yo- ah” he moaned as you began to palm his dick. 
His mind blanked completely forgetting about the light switch as his back hit the wall. You dropped to your knees in front of him working on the ties of his sweatpants before pulling them down to release his aching dick. He was fully hard now, the shaft hot and heavy as you held him in your palms, stroking softly. Chan was groaning, sensitive from not being released in days. His fingers found their way into your hair as you placed soft kisses and licks from his tip to his balls. 
“Mmph.. baby. I-” his sentence cut off as you took his tip into your mouth, tongue licking over his slit tasting his precum. You sucked diligently on his tip for a few seconds. Chan moaned as you forced yourself to take more of him into your mouth. Pulling away to catch a breath before pushing yourself to accommodate his length. You gagged tears spring to your eyes as you felt him graze the skin at the back of your mouth. 
“Ah …. Ah… ah” Chan was a mess, fingers holding onto your ponytail as he slowly fucked your face. You began bobbing your head up and down and he tightened his grip on your head all politeness leaving him as he was desperate to finish. Your jaw began to hurt but he deserved a release so you hollowed your cheeks, past the sting as you sucked him dry. He came with a broken moan, his release hitting the back of your throat. You pulled off his dick and swallowed the mess to which he tsked. 
“Baby… you didn’t have to swallow,” he said between gasps. “It's okay I wanted to.” he helped you onto your feet, attacking your mouth he could taste himself on your tongue. He groaned at the flavour and his hands once again found the skin of your back, unclasping your bra. You gripped at his black t-shirt as he made work of your sweater, removing it and throwing it on the floor. 
Your bra unhooked but Chan did not even bother removing it before he placed his lips on your right nipple, he was on his knees now one hand kneading your breast as he sucked on the other one.
“Aah, Chris… Channie..” you kept crying as soft as you could as he bit and marked the skin of your breast, fingers unzipping your shorts and feeling their way to your mound. 
Your knees buckled and Chan pulled you onto his lap once again, he sat on his knees your thighs straddling his once again. He could feel your wetness through your panties as his fingers pushed them to the side to touch you. He palmed your pussy before playing with your clit, you jerking at that, he had to hold you down. You could not keep quiet biting the back of your palm as Chan’s fingers entered your hole. You tried to pull away his hands and mouth everywhere at once but Chan roughly pulled you into him.
“Don’t. Pull. Away” he said fingers moving at an awkward angle. He looked over your shoulders to see your clothes on the floor stopping his fingers. He pulled away and placed you on the floor delicately before moving to move your sweater and removing his shirt to make a makeshift blanket on the floor. Though it was carpeted. He picked you up before gently placing you down on top of the garments. 
He plopped himself between your legs, throwing your shorts beneath the two of you. Lips finding each other. Moans and whimpers echoed in the room as you held onto each other tighter desperately grinding against one another. He gripped his cock out from its confines and tore open a condom, the only cloth left on his body was his sweats. After sheathing himself he slowly traced your pussy lips. 
Your body jerked, “Channie please..” 
“Please what pretty?” he teased your old chan slowly returning. You smiled before your mouth formed an o, hips stuttering as Chan spread your lips, grazing your clit with his member. He licked his fingers using them to wet your pussy thoroughly stimulating your wetness to produce in ample amounts. He slowly pushed in just the tip, a sigh leaving his lip.
“Aah..” your back rose from the floor as Chan slowly ground into you, ‘You felt so warm so so slippery fuck he had missed this so much.’ 
Your arms found solace behind his neck playing with the hair while Chan held his body weight on one arm, his other grabbing your face to kiss you dirty and deep, teeth clashing and spit exchanging. The sounds muffled as the two of you breathed into each other's mouths. He had begun to pull away to the tip before pushing back in. Repeating the action as your mind grew dumb. A loud moan broke through the room as he found a comfortable pace to thrust. Just then a beep was heard and the main door to the studio opened. Your eyes widened as Chan slapped his hand on your mouth. He stopped thrusting but grinded slowly not to lose the momentum. You both were huddled on the floor near the wall out of the vision line. But still your heart began to beat faster. The janitor was simply checking whether the studio had vacated, but he saw Chan’s bag and jacket in the room. After a few moments, he left thinking Chan had gone on break. Your whimpers were muffled by his hands as he breathed in relief at the sound of the door closing and locking automatically. His hip still moving slowly you felt his pubic bone rubbing against your clit with each jerk. Chan removed his hand to see you drool a bit 
“See, I told you it was a bad id- Chris!” he snapped his hips fast you screamed but it was in a soundproof room. “Fuck baby, so wet for me.. aah I missed this... Missed-mph so much. Your cunt is so warm…. So warm.” he nudged your gooey spot and you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him closer. Chan now thrust into your hole, fast and deep licking his index and middle finger before bringing it to draw on your clitoris. He drew mindless shapes on the swollen bud as he groaned into the skin of your neck biting your shoulders. Because of all the movement, his pants too slipped off his frame near his feet. 
Your nails dug into his skin as the two of you lost yourselves in each other. “Baby, I’m so close, are you? I wanna... Ah fuck.. I wanna cum with you..” he voiced breathing ragged as he kissed your plump lips. 
You could only manage babbles “Yeah..ah.. So- bi..ig cha- aah” 
He took your nipple into his mouth and your back arched pushing your breasts into his face. 
“Chan.. Chris I’m I’m cumming..” you breathed words cut off by moans. 
“God... fuck princess me too.” as the second orgasm for Chan washed over that night you moaned carelessly knowing well only he could hear it. He jerked his hips a few times before emptying completely into the rubber and falling onto your body. His whole weight felt comforting to you, like a heavy warm blanket. He was still inside you as the two of you caught your breath.
_
The source of light from his desktop had dimmed long ago but the window was open and soft moonlight made your vision visible. Chan moved his body to hover over yours again. You were still in a blissed-out state. 
“You okay?” he asked softly pulling out, his nose nudging your face before he placed a soft kiss on your jaw.
“I’m okay.” you say taking his face in your hands again, “you?”
“I’m better, sweetheart. I needed this,” he says, kissing you once more before getting off the floor. Chan disposed of the condom and checked whether the coast was clear before moving the chair blocking the door. Tightening his pants he walked out of the recording room shirtless and rummaged around his table. You sat up once he returned with a tissue box and some water. 
“Thank you.” you finish gulping the water before moving onto your feet. Your sweater was stained with your release Chris apologetically handed it to you. You did not mind reassuring him with a peck on his cheek and grabbing the rest of your innerwear and putting them on. Thankfully your shorts and his T-shirt were clean. 
Stepping out of the record room he turned on the dim light, you grabbed his jacket to cover your upper body, the outfit big for your frame. Chan clad in his t-shirt hugs you from behind as you are zipping it up. 
You looked at him to kiss his cheek. 
“Let’s go home,” you say placing your hands on his. 
“I have to finish this babe.” he calmly said. Before you could protest your boyfriend lifted you off the ground and he sat back down on his chair you on his thighs. 
“Don't worry, I’ll just record a sample and we can go. I’ll do the rest with Jisung soon.” he did, and you applauded his stamina with a kiss before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He worked on with you sleeping peacefully in his lap even when he sang into the mic. His mind felt clearer and he finished the job within an hour. 
“Done,” he said looking down to see you fast asleep, gripping onto his t-shirt. He checked his phone after packing his things into his bag on the ground still not waking you up.
There were notifications from Han which read, ‘Hyung, I’m sorry. I’ll work harder tomorrow. Fried chicken on me?’ he felt the last of his worries vanish knowing that the younger was not mad at him. He shot a quick reply with lots of hearts and gently woke you up. 
“Baby? Let’s go home.” 
_
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𝘋𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦. 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘺𝘤𝘹 ©
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝
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A/N: What would I give to love this man like this. Hope you enjoy this
tags 🏷️: @comet-falls
note: Hi love it's _🪽anon, Blog reveal haha. I hope you enjoy this. Let's be moots? (If that is alright). If you loved this fic do check out my other works too, I would love to get some tips from you as you are one of the authors I look up to.
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midnightarcheress · 1 month
Text
and they said speak now
we’re meant to combine. to heat each other up, to become one. pairing: simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader cw: angst. no comfort. angry yearning simon. mentions of cheating. reader is part of tf141. no use of y/n. part 1 | part 2
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you and Ghost have never been friends.
sure, you are acquaintances, colleagues, teammates. but friends? no. it's more of that weird position where you'd take a bullet for each other if necessary, but would never, ever, stand in the same room without a dense fog of tension circling your bodies, limbs trembling with pent-up unjustified fury.
it's been like this ever since you joined the task force. when Price announced a new member to the group, Ghost silently protested; in his head, four was more than enough people to cover their intricate missions, so making it an odd number would only throw off their balance - in and out of the field.
the first few days were surprisingly easy. being the new member was already hard, so you just kept to yourself, did as you were told, and stood out of everyone's way. but soon enough, you and Ghost started clashing. snarky comments evolved into name-calling, finger-pointing, and complete disregard for decorum. for any poor bystander that got caught in the cross-fire, it'd seem like two petty children throwing tantrums at one another, not two well seasoned soldiers of a special ops task force.
years passed, and it never got better. the hatred between the two of you was intense. palpable. frustrating. arousing. full of unspoken words that could never dream of coming out of your lips. even when you're spitting venom at each other and barking death threats - unfunded, in most cases - there was an undeniable spark underneath it all, simmering its way to the surface at every stolen glance during briefing, a pub visit, or a blood-filled battle ground.
he didn't want to admit it, but you worked well together. the minute you'd step in the field, a switch would flip in your minds and there wouldn't be any traces of hostility left, only a deep connection the transcended the need for talking. you'd understand what he needed just by looking in his eyes. his beautiful brown eyes. usually unreadable, but in action, they were the vessel for an obscure language you were oddly fluent on.
in missions alongside you, despite the constant pump of adrenaline coursing through his veins, he felt peaceful. the emotional turmoil in his brain regarding your existence would quiet down, being overruled by a sense of admiration and a strange vulnerability. he knew the range of your skills, but he couldn't help being amazed by your stance, your swift yet precise moves, your mindset. how could a person be graceful while stabbing another?
it was conflicting. the push and pull, the tiring tango that would go on and on with a song that never reached the end. a dynamic that drained the both of you but a dynamic that neither had the will to change. it was something. something that filled your dull lives, a flesh-eating flame that licked your skin every time your arms brushed, that somehow just kept burning brighter.
Simon could feel it. he felt it when you were stranded in a ruinous safe house during a snowstorm and had to cling into his chest to not freeze to death. he felt it when he saw your eyes sparkling as you gasped for air after hearing one of Soap's terrible jokes. he felt it when your blood stained his hands and your consciousness almost slipped out of his reach forever.
you could feel it too.
that's why the news of your engagement ripped his heart out of his chest. the heart he kept hidden behind a fortified wall, stranded in an island not even the bravest sailors dared to reach. but you, with all your stubbornness, got inside. maneuvered in the labyrinth of cracks of his heart and made yourself a little spot. a spot you were oblivious to.
for some delirious reason, you invited Ghost to the wedding. maybe you wanted all of your trusted teammates with you. maybe you wanted to be a little smug about your happiness. either way, you're a civil person, so handing him the invite was the sensible decision; giving him at least a choice.
he didn't like your fiancé. in fact, he despised the guy. it didn't matter that he was a well-known officer, full of achievements and medals, beloved by many, respected by all. in his eyes, the bloke was no more than a frail bastard looking for a doll to show off. how could you get married to that selfish prick? how could you subject yourself to the wishes of a man who only saw you as a prize? why does he care?
for an even more delirious reason, Simon decided to go. worst fucking idea.
his nerves were through the roof. fighting with the necktie like he was the one about to get married, but ultimately tossing it aside. he didn't want to go, he didn't need to go. but he also didn't want to give you the satisfaction of winning the round, he wanted to be the so-called bigger person and show you how he can put differences aside. celebrate your happiness. so he took a seat on the bench, waiting for the inevitable death march.
it was a small event. a few friends, barely any family. he watched as you floated down the aisle, draped in white satin and bearing the brightest smile he has ever seen. he was so accustumed to seeing the harsh expressions you would make at him, that he couldn't help standing in awe as the final fleckes on sunlight danced on your skin, shining on your face and nearly casting a halo over your head. all for the stupid dumbfuck standing at the altar.
Simon couldn't pay attention to the ceremonialist; his mind was too consumed by the disorientation of seeing you. seeing you as a bride. seeing you as a bride in the altar. seeing you ready to live the rest of your life with someone who's not worth one second of your time. he just sat there, transfixed by the scene and only concentrating on you. your beaming eyes, your plump lips, your soft hair, your fingers intertwined with your fiancé's.
the type of focus that made him not register the involuntary movement of his feet to the corridor after the priest said "...speak now or forever hold your peace."
"don't do it." Simon's gruff voice echoed in the small chapel, reverberating on your eardrum like a violent outburst.
confusion shaped the faces of your loved ones. everywhere you looked you saw grimaces, wide-eyes, and parted lips. the sound gasps followed by murmurs of disbelief, the atmosphere thickening by the second, making it impossible to breathe. but for you the room was quiet. too quiet.
"please, you can't-"
"Ghost." you interrupt, dropping your fiancé's hand and glaring at the man who had the nerve to taint your wedding. your mind was racing with a million thoughts. it must be a cruel joke on his side, creating a spectacle out of this, you think.
before you realize it, your hands are dragging Ghost by the arm to the back of the church, stuffing him inside of what looks like a storage room, full of antique paintings and candles.
"have you lost your mind?"
"i think i have," he answers, taking a deep breath, "i must be batshit crazy, i know. but you can't marry him." your eyes narrow, looking for any indication of it being a bluff. why is your half-colleague-half-enemy objecting at your wedding?
"this isn't you. him," he scoffs, gesturing to the man on the other side of the door, "isn't who you are. you're not the type to be controlled by a man, giving in into his act, calling it love.
"what?" you ask, utterly thunderstruck by his words, "calling it- i'm not being controlled, Ghost. i know you're not familiar with the idea, but people can actually love and respect each other."
he dismisses your comment. "do you truly love him?" Simon knows what love is, knows it a little too much and that's what keeps him distant from people. it never ends well. "can you seriously tell me that this isn't a desperate attempt to fill the void in your heart? you're not happy with him."
"i'm not getting married out of necessity, Ghost. and who are you to say that i'm not happy?"
Simon paces in the room, footsteps creaking the hardwood floor. he knew that he was only digging himself a deeper grave, but he couldn't back down now. he won't allow you to commit such a terrible mistake. "i know you. i've watched you ever since you started dating that mutt," he says, studying your face, "you look different around him. almost small. frail."
his words are sharp, cutting through the air like a scathing blade. you feel the anger in his tone, but there's something else beneath the surface. he's almost... tender?
"you reduce yourself beside him," he adds in a matter-of-fact way, taking a step closer to you, "you're a force of nature, a beast, a goddamn hurricane, not-" he glares you up and down "this."
"i don't reduce myself!" you suddenly shout, eyes boring into his skull, "you think that because i'm getting married i'm throwing myself away? i'm a fucking soldier!"
"i know that!" he shouts back, taking a towering stance over you, "does he know that? you know damn well that the minute you sign those papers he's gonna begin persuading you into retiring, into being a perfect little trophy wife he can parade to his buddies."
you laugh. a dry, dull, hollow laugh. you don't know if it's due the absurdity of his statement or the shocking concern laced in each word escaping his mouth. it's one of those moments you're certain you dipped into a parallel universe, because the reality of it all seems too insane to believe. you stand in front of him with arms crossed, pondering your next move in this godforsaken argument. of course he wouldn't give you a break, not even in your wedding day.
"come on, be serious with me for one moment. he doesn't care about you. the real you," Ghost grits his teeth, "he cares about having your warm body by his side, but he doesn't see the vulnerability hidden behind your eyes. the part you keep a secret, tucked away from the world."
you clench your fists, battling against the desire to punch his gut. you're too proud to ever confess, but his words are slowly getting to you, clouding your brain with doubt. "i'll admit, it's not entirely his fault. he's too shallow for his own good, only knows what you show him. but i see what you try to hide." he says in a quieter tone. luring you in, trying to dissipate the tension.
"it has crossed your mind, hasn't it?" you tilt your head, confused by his question, "us. you've wondered about it."
you scoff, "no, i haven't." lie.
"don't lie now, darling." the pet name should make your skin crawl. but it doesn't. he didn't say it in his usual condescending mode, the one he employs whenever he's mocking you. there's no poison in his tongue, it's... sugary. drips like honey over you.
"you feel the heat between us, the suppressed fire itching to make us combust," he steps closer, still lingering a few inches from your body but too close for comfort, "you know how good we are together. everybody sees our synchrony in the field, how perfect we work," his gaze remains unwavering on your eyes, "tell me truth."
"the truth? the truth is that you're a lunatic-"
his fingertips dig in your skin, burning a hole to your bicep. your breath hitches on your throat, startled by the unexpected use of force. his jaw tightens at the sight, muscle twitching and threatening the remnants of self-control that prevents him from kissing you.
your head spins. his face is close. his scent fills your nostrils to the point of dizziness, intoxicating your lungs and sending shockwaves through your nervous system. "fine!" you blurt, "i might have thought of it, but it doesn't mean anything. just because we work well together it doesn't mean we're made for each other, Ghost."
"but it means something."
the air is full of anticipation, tension, energy. it's the moment before a lightning struck. as the space between you decreases, the shield insulating your opposing charges falters, resulting in a rapid electrical discharge that jolts your heart to life. he pulls you into a kiss, daring you to push him away.
your lips meet with a boiling intensity, the fusion of desire, rage, and something more. time stands still as his tongue finds yours, softly massaging it with both tenderness and passion. his touch is eager yet deliberate, the loud thumping of your heart fades into a ringing on your ear as his hand moves from your arm to your waist, pressing you even closer to his body.
"no, stop!" you push him, catching your breath as he stumbles back into the wall, "what's wrong with you?! what's wrong with me? i have a fiancé waiting as i waste my time here with you!"
"god, you don't get it, do you?!" he yells, "he doesn't deserve you! you put him in a pedestal, and while i'm stuck dreaming about you every fucking night he's out there-" he stops himself, giving you a unfamiliar deer in the headlights look.
"he's what?"
silence.
"Simon, finish your sentence."
"look, i," for the first time in the whole exchange, Simon is stumped. he didn't want to bring up the topic. he curses his mouth for flowing with his anger and talking too much, "i didn't want to tell you, i wanted you to see with your own eyes how much of a dipshit he is, but," he gulps, "he's a fucking cheater. i've seen him at the pub a few times with different girls, hands all over, drunk kisses-"
"you're lying," you retort, holding back the tears that start creeping up the corners of your eyes, "he wouldn't do that."
"i really wish i was lying. i'm so sorry."
you lean back on a chair, trembling as your breathing quickens. you don't wanna believe what he says, he's just letting his jealousy speak. but deep down, you know. all the times he came home with a smudged red mark on his neck, a wrinkled phone number in his pocket he rapidly dismisses. it's so typical, isn't it? no matter how devoted you are to a man, they will always search for more. the insatiable need to desire.
Simon frowns at your quivering figure. his heart aches when the small tears make their way down your cheek, staining your white dress. he crouches in front of you, a hand on your knee trying to convey his support, his guilt for being the bearer of the fact, his love. give me your pain. i can handle it. you're not alone, my darling.
"don't touch me." you hiss, raising your watery eyes to his. the look of hurt in your gaze pierces through him like a sword. he wants to say the right words, to protect you, to give you a new reason to love, but his mind is incapable of forming a remotely comforting phrase.
the tears on your face are hot. the salt streams sting on your skin, but nothing compares to the sorrow that filled your ventricles. you can't stay like this, you can't let him win. you're stronger than this. you're stronger than him.
Ghost jumps when you suddenly stand up. the pain in your irises are now accompanied by the unmistakable wrath he's used to deal. only now, you don't direct it at him; instead, you open the door and stomp your way to the altar again, followed quickly by Simon, worried about what you're going to do.
"it's over."
"babe? what?" the fiancé looks down at you, bearing a disgustingly sly smile, not quite believing your words, "you're kidding, right?"
you don't weaver. despite your tear-stained face and obvious hurt state, your resolve is clear. he truly doesn't care about you. he never even went to check on you after you disappeared in a room with Simon, never felt a ting of threat because he believes the control he has on your soul is enough to keep you tight on the leash. "i said, it's over."
the grin in his face fades when he realizes your certainty. he glances at the tall figure in the back, ready to throw hands if he ever so slightly thinks about laying a finger on you. "of course. you." the man says, rolling his sleeves and making his way to Simon.
only to be stopped by you.
"he has nothing to do with this," you state, blocking his path and pushing his chest with a strength you didn't know you had, "this is between your cheating ass and me. i'm not gonna play into your game anymore. there's no wedding, it's over."
the glare he gives you is bone-chilling, and for a second you see his will to pounce at your throat. without any doubt, Ghost moves you aside and shields your body with his, eyes making all the communication. try me. one step closer and i'll kill you.
even with his conceited persona, he knows better than to actually pick a fight with Ghost. he wouldn't hesitate to snap his spine bare-handed, not even inside a church, so he backs off. it really is over.
in the meantime, you're already halfway out the door, breathing in a deeply needed huff of fresh air. it's the classical movie scene with a runaway bride after the big climax - but in this film, the bride is alone. not with the pining romantic counterpart that just poured his heart out.
your name falling from Simon's lips lead your soul back to your earthly form, the reality dawning on your head one more time.
"leave me alone, Simon."
"but," he stops in his tracks, taking in your scorched-earth appearance, "i don't want you to be alone, please, let me-"
"no," you cut him, "i don't need you near me right now. or ever, for that matter."
straight to the core. a gunshot would hurt less, he thinks. "you don't have to do this on your own. i know that our history prompts you to not trust me," he sighs, pondering for a moment if he should really speak what his spirit desperately long for, "i wanna change that. let me prove how much i love you."
his words find their way to your bleeding heart, contaminating your mind with the possibility of being loved by him. for someone who maintains his feelings at bay, kept under lock and key, he sounds sincere.
"love?" your scoff intercuts the rhetorical question, "the Ghost i met doesn't know love. he knows anger, knows disgust, disdain."
he watches your lips quivering, tears threatening the edges of your waterline once again. he wants nothing more but to reach for you, wrap his burly arms around your body and never let go. whisper comfort into your ears, sweet promises of devotion, and give the solace you yearn for.
"i need... time."
Simon looks up to your eyes, locking his gaze and quietly nodding. he understands. he isn't fond of leaving you in this state, but he knows you won't have a change of heart minutes after a love confession. not when he spent years showing you nothing but hate.
it pains him to see your sorrowful grim. pupils following attentively as each of your steps put more distance between your bodies, planting new cracks in his heart. it's only for a while, he repeats to himself as a mantra, cursing silently for treating you with such a freezing-cold demeanor, when all you did was warm his soul.
it was true. Ghost only knows the bad, dreadful emotions. only served you hate and didn't bother to change.
but the thing is, Simon has never hated you.
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it's my first time writing like this so i'm a little self-conscious, but i'm also proud of myself <3 hope you like it! i wanna make a part 2, but idk.
little note - i had to edit it on my phone so it was kinda awful lol sorry for any mistakes
307 notes · View notes
utterlyotterlyx · 28 days
Note
Cassian and writing prompt #21, “Stay”
I’m desperate for more Cassian x Reader fics!! Thank you :)
Arsonist's Lullaby
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Cassian x Fem!Reader
Summary - Cassian thinks he knows best when he pushes you away, to protect you, but nothing prepared him for a threat on your life and no one can stop him from reaching you.
Warnings - angst, smut smut smut, fluffffffff, swearing, mentions of death
Word Count - 4.9k
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Sunlight speckled over your skin, its warm embrace curling around like Cassian once did, glittering its unwavering love across your paled surface, willing it back to life.
It wasn't out of the ordinary for you and Cassian to fight, but something about that fight felt different. More final in a way.
Cassian was always worrying over you, his mate, and what harm his title could potentially inflict upon you. He had been pushing you away, had been spending more time away from you; you knew why, you knew he was scared of being the reason anything happened to you but that didn't mean that he had to shut you out.
Your mate had done everything to prepare you for any potential attack, any risk to your life, you were a skilled fighter thanks to Cassian, even Azriel broke into a sweat sparring against you and Cassian smirked with pride at the image.
Weakness was not a part of your vocabulary, he knew that, but he still treated you as a fragile swirl of winter warmth and you weren't appreciating it.
Confronting Cassian had ensued an argument that would shatter any unmated couple, you had both hurled abusive words to one another, you had called him spineless and unwilling to fathom your ability to be able to care for yourself like you had during the war against Hybern when you had used your rare gift of Solakenisis to hurtle spheres of radiating flame across the battlefield. In return, Cassian had called you weak and pathetic, he had called you reckless and immature, and landed his final blow of calling you jealous of the other women in your circle for having the freedom and strength that you would never be able to wield.
Such an argument left you both panting, with raw throats and wet cheeks, with snarls of hatred sculpted to your usually attached lips.
Cassian had left you then, had left you alone in your shared home with a bag in his hand without a word of when he would return to you. It felt final. It felt damning.
So you decided to leave yourself, but instead of leaving to escape the too-large-for-yourself home to the sanctuary of the residence of your family, you chose to leave the city altogether and chose to not tell a soul, not even Rhys as he tapped on the walls of your iron clad mind once he had felt your essence float through his wards.
Sunlight continued to kiss your skin as you lay in the familiar comfort of your Day Court bed, in the room Helion had promised to always keep for you. Helion was your older brother, well half-brother, but he wouldn't let anyone mutter a word about your bastard heritage, your shared father had been quite the rake in his prime, and such actions birthed you, his bastard daughter with the power to harness the destructive powers of the sun.
It was baffling for you to comprehend why exactly Cassian was so worried for you when you had the ability to unleash heavenly fire across Prythian if you so wished it. That, and the fact that the bond had snapped for Cassian one evening in Day was why Rhys had lobbied for your presence in his court in the first place all those years ago, long before Amarantha.
Amarantha was intrigued by you, you were the only individual she wasn't able drain power from, your abilities were other-worldly, untouchable. So, she gave you an option, stay uninvolved and advise her or watch your brother perish before your eyes. You chose the former.
All you have is your fire. Use it.
Amarantha erupted into flames when she had killed Feyre, unable to free herself from the bindings you had chained around her limbs. She had screamed, gargled in fact as you stood behind her, hands at your sides and your mind ripping her apart from the inside out. Boiling and burning her alive. Fire danced through your hair, it burned brightly in your eyes, sunlight pulsed around you, a blinding thing, a warning to others.
Your power was not yours to gift, it was not for anyone else to yield but you, Helion knew as much and was stern as he told Tamlin that you were not to offer up any of your power to save the human girl in his arms.
That said human girl, Feyre, now your High Lady, had grown to be a very good friend of yours.
Rising from the depths of the cream silken sheets, you touched your rough cheeks, crying for hydration from the tears you had poured upon them for the eighth night in a row. The bond had gone cold by your own foolish wish, you had locked it off, you had refused any attempts of contact, and Helion had obliged and denied your presence in his court when Rhys and Cassian had reached to him, Helion had even gone as far as to plant a seed in Feyre's mind that you may be in Autumn since Eris was a good friend of yours despite his relationship with the Night Court.
Autumn was the one place they would have difficulty infiltrating, and Eris was more than happy to play along if it gave you some peace.
Eight days was the longest you had gone without Cassian, without anything flowing through the bond, without seeing him, without being wrapped up in his body as he fucked you relentlessly into oblivion.
It was exhausting.
The Day Court sun brought some life back to you, cascading her glow upon you and enriching your skin with her gentle loving shimmer. She had always doted on you, the energy she bestowed upon you was unmatched, and you often found her watchful eye following you wherever you walked, whispering to you always.
The sun had chosen you, her vessel, to right the wrongs of the world, and Cassian always chose to look over that fact.
Your home court was known for its elaborate fashion, the ornate gold jewellery and accessories that you had found wrapped around your hands and feet, and the halo crown caressing the back of your head. The dress you had worn held a solid gold bodice of intricate swirls that allowed your skin to peek out beneath it, that attached to a pale shimmering skirt, and golden chains draped across your collarbones and fell down your spine. It moulded to your figure perfectly.
You were not weak or jealous, or reckless, you were a child of the sun, a strong and formidable creature. No one, not even Cassian, could take that from you.
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Cassian had been cursed out by every member of your shared family when he had arrived at the House of Wind looking like shit with a bag between his fingers.
He thought he was right. He thought he was protecting you. But after having his ass handed to him by Azriel and Rhys, and Feyre and Mor's stern words, and Amren's glare of pure disgust, Cassian knew he had fucked up.
Cassian had raced back to your shared home, one that was a harmonious myriad of light and dark, of sun and night, and found it solemn and empty. He had raced up the stairs, he had looked in your drawers and saw everything still in place, then he had headed to your vanity and inhaled sharply when he saw that the small picture of your mother had gone, which meant you had too.
Screaming down the bond, Cassian was met with a stone cold wall of rippling silence, and he broke. Cassian fell to his knees holding one of your dressed between his fingers, it still smelt of you, of hot salted ocean breezes and fresh roses, and he cried.
He had spent the next week trying to locate you, being turned away from every court, even Helion had no idea where you had gone, but had told Feyre that you may have gone to Eris, your friend, as you knew that would be the one place he couldn't get to you.
Rhys had demanded entry to Autumn, which Eris had refused with a sly smirk on the boarder, his hounds circling through his legs. Eris was enjoying Cassian's pain far too much and had the gall to quip, "She doesn't want to see you, Lord of Bloodshed. Perhaps you listen to her this time, considering you have a habit of refusing to."
A spit in the face of his love for you. Cassian had gone to step over the threshold only to be held back by Azriel, Eris' hounds were snarling and barking at the three Illyrians trying to enter their home, "You would risk war?"
Eris grinned, fixing the lapels of his jacket, "A war would take y/n from you forever. I don't think you'd be that stupid," he turned from them, whistling for his hounds to follow, "As long as she's here, she will be fine. I suggest you go home and mull over the ways in which you have failed her."
Missions were the only thing that would give Cassian the opportunity to relent his frustrations, his force was sickening, he broke the bones of their enemies with his bare hands, he ripped them apart with his own self-loathing fury. Azriel had never seen Cassian in such a state, he blamed himself for your disappearance, and rightfully so, any of them could have told him that you were capable of destroying him if needed, let alone anyone else. Though, Azriel didn't blame Cassian for trying to protect you, for believing that your bond could bring harm to you, Azriel would think the same if he were in Cassian's shoes.
"Cass, we do need at least one of them alive," Azriel followed his brother on his war path, he watched him in concern as he drove his sword through the hearts of many soldiers.
Bodies lay broken around them, blood coated the ground and walls, it was a monstrous sight to take in. Cassian's hair lay unbound on his shoulders, matted with sweat that coated his brow, his wings were tense as he swung, they shuddered in fear of his force.
Cassian grunted to Azriel, whipping his air away from his face and facing him with a dead glare behind his hazel eyes, "Fine," he smirked and sheathed his sword, motioning to Azriel to approach the singular male who was moments away from death.
Blood coated his lips, his eyes had dimmed, but he still wore evil like a brooch on his heart, he spat the contents of his bloody mouth at Azriel as he bent down to grasp him by the collar, "You're going to tell me of your plans to attack Velaris, you're going to tell me and I may spare you."
The male chuckled low and sinister, hatred blazed in his faltering eyes and he smiled, toothy, but blood coated the once yellow tinged teeth. There wasn't much time to get answers, "We're already moving, you're too late."
Azriel cocked his head to the side, "I'm going to need more than that. I can make this much more painful for you," Truthteller dragged across the males bobbing throat, he knew of the Shadowsinger, he had heard to rumours of his ruthless torture.
The males gaze flickered to Cassian who stood behind Azriel, leaning against the bloodied wall looking disinterested, "You can thank him for that," his finger twitched in Cassian's direction, "Do you really believe that your High Lord is the protector of your court?" The male leaned forward, "Your greatest protector, the most powerful being in Prythian, is no longer being hidden by your court. She is elsewhere, we have been watching her, preparing for the perfect moment to snatch her away. With her power in our grasp, we will be unstoppable."
Cassian felt panic settle in his soul as the male continued, bitterly laughing as he spoke, "Y/N. A child of the sun, back in her home court, ready to follow her destiny. You can thank your Lord of Bloodshed for accelerating our plans."
Azriel turned to Cassian with wide eyes, eyes that Cassian matched. It was never about attacking Velaris, it was about capturing you, using your power for their own tyrannical plans, bleeding you dry and taking your power from your body.
"Cass-"
But Cassian was already moving, turning on his heels and pelting from the room as fast as he could, flexing his wings to ready them for flight whilst calling out to Rhys to meet them at the Day Court Palace as fast as possible.
Cassian flew as fast as he could, he would never be able to forgive himself if anyone harmed you, especially when he had made it so easy for them to reach you. He had to find you, he had to stop it, he had to save you.
Helion growled at the intrusion of the three Illyrians entering his personal library that was three times the size of the library at the House of Wind, but his snarl faltered when he saw the frenzied eyes and the blood coating Cassian and Azriel's armour. He rose from his seat quickly, not having a moment to say anything when Cassian paced over to him, "I don't have time for pleasantries. She's in danger. Where is she?"
Helion noted the fire in Cassian's eyes, the way his siphons glowered dangerously in awaiting answer, "How do I know that this isn't some elaborate ruse to take her?"
Azriel stepped forward, voice low in warning, noticing Cassian's fists clench and his chest seethe with anger, "Our enemies have been hunting her, they wish to drain her power and unleash it on the world. We need to find her."
Helion's language shifted, he faced Cassian with equal fury, going toe to toe with the Lord of Bloodshed and bit, "If anything happens to my sister, I will end you."
"I will end myself before you ever could, now tell me where she is."
A wild wind bellowed through the open arches, enough for Helion to wince at the forceful impact. That wind swarmed through the palace, it was wild and cold, it was a warning from the world to run and hide. Helion fought against it toward the balcony, his locks whipping around in the tornado that had encased his court, his eyes focused on the forest in the distance and he pointed, "She's in there."
Then, from nowhere, bright thunderous light quaked from the sky as large spheres of sun fire raced past them and slammed into the ground below, where you were. The trees lurched with the impact, splintering and sprouting in differing directions, wailing at their demise, and the ocean dragged itself back to a safe distance. Fire rained from the sky, but the wind was too forceful for any of them to fly to you.
"RHYS!" Cassian bellowed to his brother, their eyes locked and he nodded, catching Cassian with a free hand with Azriel in the other, winnowing them to where they needed to be.
The scene was sickening. Trunks lay cracked and broken, simmering fire trickled along the earth that rumbled beneath their feet with each impact of fire that slammed against the ground. They couldn't see two feet in front of them let alone much else due to the heavenly light that emitted from you, but Cassian felt you, for the first time in what felt like centuries, he felt you.
Cassian felt your fury course down the bond, it was mixed with fear and guilt, and it lead them straight to you. In return, he threw all of his love down the bond as another sphere of your fire hurtled down through the sky, and he swore he could have heard you gasp and pause.
The light dimmed, and their eyes adjusted to see you in the clearing metres ahead from them, surrounded by bodies, some bloody and other burnt beyond recognition. A dagger was glued between your fingers and you let our a shaky exhale, like you didn't realise you had been holding your breath all that time.
The clearing looked more like a crater, a once plush area of wildlife that you sought comfort in was now a crater of ash and broken souls, and Cassian watched your cracked eyes survey your surroundings, hating what you had done.
Cassian rushed to you, slamming his body into yours and cradling you into his chest, "Are you alright?" He pulled away and cupped your face in his hands gingerly, wiping away the ash that had settled on your cheeks, "Speak to me, my love."
"I'm okay," your voice was hoarse and quiet, your eyes connected and he saw the tears pool in them along with the devastation that coursed through the bond, "I'm sorry. You were right-"
"Don't apologise," he told you, wiping away the tears that spilled down your ashen cheeks, leaving streaks of sunlight flowing down them, "I was wrong, so wrong. You don't need anyone to protect you, you aren't weak or jealous, you are strong and more capable of protecting yourself more than anyone I know. You are your greatest protector, not me. I'm so sorry, I was just trying to keep you tucked away and safe. But you've always meant to shine, I never should have tried to stop it."
"You were trying to keep me safe, Cass," your voice trailed off and you examined the scene, paying no notice to Rhys and Azriel at the edge of your crater, "What have I done?"
Cassian's fingers ran through your hair, "You did what you had to, alright? It's okay. If I hadn't pushed you away then none of this would have happened. I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry."
Your hands lay on his chest and you sighed, "Take me home, Cass. I can't be here."
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Cassian had doted on you the moment you were back in his arms, he ordered Rhys to winnow you both back to your shared home whilst Azriel stayed to assure Helion that you were fine and in need of some much needed time with your mate.
The searing heat of the tub wound around your muscles and soothed the ache in your soul. The water was far too hot for Cassian to climb into, so he instead sat on the edge of the tub and washed your hair, picking apart the knots within it and allowed his large hands to unwind the bundled nerves in your shoulders.
When the water had gone cold, he lifted you from the tub and dried your limbs, he brushed your damp hair and dressed you in a thin nightgown, and not once did he stop apologising to you, not once did his lips stop peppering kisses along your shoulders and forehead.
You stood before him, needing much more than just sweet kisses and kind words.
"Tell me what you need," he had said when he saw the look in your eyes, one that radiated doubt but also desire.
Cassian stood still in front of you, his hands resting on your hips and you stood on your tiptoes to capture his lips in a searing kiss, one that he hummed into, allowing his hand to cradle the back of your head as he deepened it. Cassian had missed your lips too much.
Against his own building desire, Cassian gently pushed you backward, "My love, you're hurting," he didn't want to take advantage of your vulnerability in that moment.
"Do you love me?"
Cassian frowned, and let out a disbelieving scoff, "More than anything."
"Good," you pressed your lips to his again, pulling back slightly and peering at him through your lashes, "Because I need you to fuck me like you don't."
His cock twinged at the words and he closed his eyes, opening them to see you push the straps of your nightgown over your shoulders, revealing your peaked nipples to him as it fell down your body. Cassian knew why you needed it, you needed to feel something other than the pain of destroying one of your most sacred places, you needed him in the most passionate way possible.
"Are you sure?" Fire spread through him when you used his forearms as leverage to capture his lips on yours again, in a starving embrace, one that sent blood pooling to his cock that throbbed against his leathers in knowing that where it needed to be was only inches away.
Cassian walked you backwards until your legs hit the back of your bed and you lowered yourself onto the mattress. Fierce lust was laced within you, you propped you heels up on the frame and spread your legs to your mate, that feral animalistic need to be rutted filling the room illuminated by flickering candlelight.
Wasting no time, Cassian ripped his leathers from his body and fell to his knees before you, his muscles contracted in the golden hue of the room, he grasped your thighs and dragged you toward him, his warmth breath fanning over your core as he placed kisses down your stomach and in the creases of your thighs, making you suck in a shaky breath as he placed a final peck to the bundle of nerve that were aching for his tongue.
"I've missed the taste of you so much, my love," the movement of his lips on your skin made electricity course through you, the stubble of his beard scratching against your inner thighs.
Whining, your back arched when he drug his tongue up your slit, the groan emitting from his throat vibrating against you threatening to blind all of your senses. He smiled against your core, winding his tongue around your clit and sucking on the nerves, his fingers dug into your thighs to stop your squirming as his pace became relentless. Sucking, biting, and swirling his tongue in the ways he knew made you turn into a mewling mess, he pumped his cock in his hand to relieve the building pressure, to allow him to focus on you, his beautiful moaning mess of a mate completely at his mercy.
Cassian lapped up your taste, groaning in pleasure at it as he pumped his digits in you, pressing down on your stomach with his free hand to make that rough spot inside of you meet every brush of his touch. He noted the hitch of your breath and the way your fingers found his hair, pushing his face into your cunt, telling him how close you were from falling from grace. Cassian kept his pace, taking your throbbing clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue against it as his fingers hit that spot again and again until you were crying out his name and tensing around his fingers.
Your mate continued his tirade, pulling two more orgasms from your lips before his pace slowed and he removed his fingers from you. Humming, he sucked your juices from one of his fingers and then slid the other into your mouth as he hovered over you, his cock ready and weeping on your thigh.
He threw your clenched legs apart and nestled between them, "You can thank me tomorrow," he told you, no doubt alluding to the fact that your lips hadn't found his cock yet, "I just need you."
Without warning, he pushed into you, and his delicious cock stretched you out, you threw your head back and moaned, your fingers digging into his shoulders as he lowered himself and captured your lips hungrily against his own, transferring the taste of you to your tongue. He moved, slowly at first, and you met his hips in the rolling rhythm he had created, then he became more desperate and picked up his pace, biting and sucking at the skin on your neck, no doubt marking it for everyone to see once he would allow you out of your bed after fucking you on every surface possible.
Cassian groaned into the crook of your neck, his fingers held a bruising grip on your hip as he slammed into you, the tip of his cock smacking against that rough spot inside of you, "I love you, y/n. I love you so much," his brows were furrowed, like he knew how much force he was using and had to tell you how much he loved you just in case he was taking it too far.
Panting, you replied, "I love you too, Cass. I love you," you were cut off by your own moan, your hands flew above your head encased in his own, he gripped the sheets and snarled and he pulled out of you and flipped you over, pushing your head into the mattress and growling as the tip of his cock teased your entrance again, and you took it in it's entirety, groaning so deliciously that it took everything within Cassian to not explode at the sight of your ass bouncing on his cock.
Cassian bent down, his fingers delicately wrapped around your throat and pulled you upright, his fingers stayed there, restricting your oxygen in the best way imaginable as he pushed up into you, sucking and nibbling on your earlobes and neck between his own rough moans of pleasure.
As long as you had Cassian, there was nothing else you'd ever need to feel fulfilled. He was everything, your life and death, your shoulder to sob upon, your cock to cum on. Cassian was yours, his soul belonged to you just like every fibre of your existence hung onto him.
"Stay. Don't ever leave me again," his voice was full of emotion in your ear as he fucked you into the whispering depths of the ocean that was your bond.
Cassian's free hand twisted at your nipples before travelling downward, resting atop your stomach and pushing your hips backward to meet his relentless thrusts, and you felt the familiar pressure building there, holding on wasn't possible when his fingers travelling further, finding your clit and tracing slow circles into the nerves, smirking into your shoulder as high pitched cries flowed from your lips.
"I'll never leave you," you were breathless, and you hardly felt him pull out from you as he pushed you onto your back again, throwing your leg over his arm and pounding into you until he began to falter. His lips found your nipple again, sucking and biting on the sensitive nub of skin, and his fingers continued to flicker over your clit, "Cass, please. I'm going to-"
"So am I," he groaned, pressing his forehead to yours, "Cum for me, my love," Cassian pressed his lips to yours, capturing your orgasm in his mouth before releasing your lips to allow you to scream his name as that searing white heat consumed your entire body.
Cassian could have swore you began to glow as it consumed you, and you basked in that warmth, he basked in the clench of your walls quivering around his cock and milking him until there was nothing left to fill you with. Your mate fucked you through both of your highs, groaning your name and growling as he filled you, panting as he slowed his pace and lay on top of you.
In the comfortable silence, you found him staring at you with wonder, he hovered over you propped up on his elbows, tracing his fingers along your glistening skin, "What?"
Cassian smiled, "I want a baby," he admitted, "I can't stop myself from being scared about losing you, a part of me will always be terrified. But, what I can stop is myself holding back in the life I dream of with you," his hazel eyes scoured your face, and peace settled between you, "I want a product of us, of our love and strength. I want a family with you, a big family full of love and wonder and adventure where you have to tell me off after our fourth for wanting another," you giggled tearfully beneath him and he wiped a tear away with the pad of his thumb, "The idea of losing you is my greatest fear, y/n. I don't want anything to happen to us, and I don't want us to be left with nothing if-"
"Cass," you cooed to him, pulling him from the devastating thoughts in his mind, "I want all of that too, I want the picket fence and enough children to drive Az insane. Enough cousins for Nyx for them all to grow up in their own inner circle and replace us all one day. I want a life with you void of sadness. I want you, forever, even when our day comes to leave this reality, I will want you and I will guide you to the heavens so that we may live in an eternity of love waiting for everyone we adore to join us."
Cassian pulled you up the bed and encased you in his arms, draping a thin sheet over your forms and running his fingers through your hair whilst you kissed his chest softly, "You found me in darkness and we made our own light. We burn brighter than anything that may await us," he kissed your forehead and gazed into your eyes, a smirk worked its way onto his face, "The sun has nothing on you, you know."
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Authors Note
Daddy Casssss
Hope you love it! x
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nyxthejinx · 6 months
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Tummy ache survivor winds up writing angst!! Wrio and Clorinde clearly besties, I need them to hug me tight and tell me I'll be okay :'(
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Clorinde holding her gun to your head, and absolutely shattering from the inside out at the idea of pulling the trigger. She's so mad at you for choosing to go down this path, for forcing her to suffer twice as much and carry this burden, your blood on her hands. Every fiber of her being is screaming at her to stop, but she's known for her unwavering resolve. She'll regret it for the rest of her life.
Wriothesley staring at you, arms crossed and seemingly unbothered, professional- as if he didn't have the love of his life handcuffed before him. As the seconds tick by his mask of indifference begins to fail him, the crease on his brows betraying the silent ache tearing away his chest. He won't be able to help you the way he wants, because everyone is equal in the Fortress, and you're no exception.
Neuvillette, oh so distracted during your trial, his mind doing a back and forth between what must be done and what he'd like to do. For once the Iudex isn't struggling with gathering and figuring out his thoughts: it's clear this time, but it mustn't be voiced. His distraction won't stop him from handling your case with utmost care, though. So he can make sure, at the very least, that your sentence is the fairest of all.
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DON'T copy/repost/translate my work. REBLOG instead! ©nyxthejinx
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reiincarnatiion · 13 days
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shadows of destiny | azriel x reader | part three
summary: azriel jealous and yearning for Y/N
🧚‍♀️
a/n: sorry guys for the long assss wait, ive been on exchange in the uk so i have been busy living life hehe, still here and loving it!! hope you guys like this one, love you all cuties <33 also this isnt proof read so sorry for any mistakes! let me know what you think, i love all of your sweet messages !! eeeeeee
read : [part one] [part two]
-----🩷🧚‍♀️💗------
You woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and a parched mouth, confused as to how you had made it to your bed from last night. The morning sun streamed through the curtains, casting a hazy glow over your room.
Groaning loudly, you cursed as you shifted your weight around, consequently turning your head to come face to face with Lucien's chiseled features, peacefully sleeping next to you. It took you a second to realize he was shirtless as well.
You screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
His mechanical eye swirled open, followed by his other. "Tell me we didn't."
"DID what," Lucien murmured, a small smirk gracing his features as he stared up at the ceiling. Amusement danced in his eyes as he stretched languidly against the sheets. His morning rasp tingled inside you and nicked at you annoyingly. This could not have happened. The headache of whatever liquids and maybe even other substances you had consumed yesterday hit you hard, and you fell back to face the ceiling as well, nausea threatening to overwhelm you.
"You little slut, you know what I meant," you groaned, rolling onto your front in a feeble attempt to quell the oncoming headache and urge to vomit.
You felt Lucien shift next to you as well, attempting to detangle himself from the crisp black sheets of your bed. "We must have done it."
"NO Lucien."
"YES."
"NO, I CAN'T-"
"…why not," Lucien breathed out. His demeanor had changed since you last saw him sober; something had happened last night, and you could not remember, but he was acting differently.
"All I am saying is that last night made me realize things about you, Y/N…" he continued, rising from the sheets. You raised your eyes in horror, ready to scream because you did not want to get flashed by fiery dick-
-a pair of orange breeches came into view.
"Oh."
"Upset that we didn't actually sleep together, Y/N?"
An unknown feeling of red-hotness spread throughout your face, turning your cheeks pink. "I hate you, Lucien," you hummed.
"What did you realize, Lucien?"
"That I pretend to not care the way Azriel and Elain make heart eyes at each other, but on the inside, it's like a knife twisting inside me," he deadpanned, and you couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"What???" he groaned, falling down next to you. "Nothing, Luc, I just feel sorry for us, that's all.
~
Azriel sat at the dining table, swirling the black coffee mindlessly. It was 2 pm, and his shadows had begun reporting how the others had finally begun stirring awake after their long night. They had gotten back at 5 am, the sun slowly beginning to peek through the trees and buildings of Velaris, and he had watched from afar as Lucien carried Y/N to her room.
He had not come out afterwards. His shadows had been in an unfamiliar frenzy, yelling to slip through and see what was happening in that bedroom, to investigate how good he gave it to her because Azriel just knew. He knew he could give it to her better.
He clenched his fists at the picture his shadows had painted for him of the events which probably had unfolded in her room. What was it with his sexual urges with Y/N all of a sudden? She was just his friend. She had always just been his friend. Maybe he had had a little crush on her before. Maybe when she would walk into a room and his palms would sweat, he would chastise himself for wearing too many layers. Or how when she used to make his heart beat irregularly, he would tell Rhys about anxiety. It was easier to let them think he had a disorder rather than admit feelings. Because maybe, just maybe he had had slight feelings towards her for centuries. But there was Elain now.
He liked Elain.
"Good Morning Azriel!" a sweet voice chirped, as Elain entered the dining room, a sweet tea held in her perfectly manicured hands. Even after a night out, she looked perfect. Her hair looked freshly blow-dried, and her lips tinted pink, looking fresh and kissable. He smiled gently, and her eyes brightened as she took a seat next to him, murmuring things about last night and how odd it was to see Lucien with Y/N.
"I just don't think he should have danced like that with her, what do you think?" she whispered, her eyes shining.
"I know it was disrespectful to you," Azriel nodded back, looking into her glassy doe eyes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he felt a sudden burst of movement from his shadows, but the warning wasn't quick enough as two figures walked into the room.
God, she looked horrible.
Elain let out a comical gasp, and the corner of his mouth lifted as Y/N walked into the room, her hair messy and disturbed, like someone had pulled on it, ran their hands through it. Her presence snatched on his gaze, it pulled it towards him, and Azriel found himself unable to look away.
Her eyes lazily dragged over Azriel, raking up his body, and never before had he felt so hot. But he did not break eye contact with her either, he maintained it, willing and daring her to break it first.
Their eyes met in a silent battle of wills, a tension simmering beneath the surface as they sized each other up. It was a fleeting moment, but it spoke volumes, leaving Azriel reeling in its wake.
"Lucien, can we talk?" Elain broke the silence.
Everyone blinked and looked at the innocent girl sitting down. Azriel watched as she looked into Lucien’s eyes, with her innocent look, and he mentally chuckled. She was doing damage control, and it was working because his shadows were reporting the increase in Lucien’s heartbeat.
“Of course,” Lucien whispered and pushed past Y/N, whisking Elain away out of the room.
Charged silence followed. Azriel went back to nursing his coffee which had gone cold now. He felt Y/N scoff and mutter something under her breath which sounded a whole lot like "bitch," as she moved around the place, into the connecting kitchen, trying to will the House to make her a cup of its strongest coffee. They didn’t say a word to each other, but Azriel could feel the tension in the air. He didn’t know where it had formed from, what abyss it had risen from, he just knew there was something that needed to be addressed between them before his head and his heart exploded.
“What was that from last night?” he let out a breath finally, his shadows jittering around the place. He looked up from his swirling black coffee to see Y/N cease her movements in the corner of the kitchen. Her short night dress, barely covering her ass, had ridden up as she had been bent over the kitchen bench. Azriel felt himself stiffen, so he looked away quickly, adjusting himself.
“What do you mean,” she replied, turning around with a neutral expression on her face, guarding her emotions. She carefully padded her way to the table, setting the coffee down and placing herself directly in front of him. Her scent wafted over him, and his jaw ticked, but he didnt show any emotion. His dark eyes bore into hers, his shadows fought to sift over her, wanting to know her thoughts, her feelings, her emotions. Alas, she showed nothing.
“You and Lucien…” he drawled out, pretending to ask nonchalantly.
“We just danced to Azriel, I was really drunk,” she whispered softly, placing her hands together on her lap.
“You emerged from the same room,” he replied calmly.
As she cocked her head to the side, her hair falling onto her face, time seemed to slow down. Her long eyelashes were stunning, and her deep eyes looked at Azriel with something so unsaid, that the raw intensity sent shivers down his spine.
Azriel knew at that moment that he could no longer leave these unanswered feelings of his left hanging. He wasn't a dumb male; if his body was responding to Y/N like this for so long, there was clearly a reason. And it was not a dumb crush.
He had forced himself to believe for so long, that Elain should belong to him. Three brothers for three sisters, that is what he would tell himself.
Yet something had shifted between them two, a subtle undercurrent that left Azriel reeling. It was something deeper, something undeniable. And as he met Y/N's gaze, he knew that he could no longer ignore the pull that drew him to her, the pull of something real, something worth fighting for.
--
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shadowdaddies · 7 months
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what do you think about reader and nyx being bffs and her having a huge crush on azriel , like nyx and reader have been friends for almost 50 years and she still remembers the first time she saw azriel. At was first it was a silly girl crush but it developed to her having a fat ass crush on him fr and nyx knows this and teases her relentless, azriel overhears this and confronts her. Fluff or smut pls i cannot handle angst🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
well anon, I had planned to go a more playful/smutty route when I started writing this but that was not what the writing gods had in mind for me today. This is FLUFF (and I know you said no angst but I couldn't resist but IT PAYS OFF)
Birthday Wishes
Azriel x Reader
Warnings: none, just lots of fluff and a lil angst, not proofread
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You grew up in Velaris; your first job was as a teaching assistant at Feyre’s studio. You grew close with Feyre, and she became a mentor to you. 
You babysat Nyx when he was young, and as you both grew older you also grew closer. He was the little brother you never had, and you were an honorary member of their family. You often accompanied Nyx to family dinners, which was comfortable because of how close you were with everyone. You had trained under Nesta’s command with the Valkyries, and often worked with Rhys and Feyre in your duties as an emissary. 
The only one in the IC who didn’t feel like family to you was Azriel. Maybe that was in part because you had a huge crush on him for over fifty years, but he never seemed to pay much interest to you. He was at dinners and events the least of anyone, usually off on a mission, and when he was there you were too nervous to say much to him.
One year, Feyre insisted on hosting your birthday celebration at the River House. Everyone in the family was there, along with some of the Valkyries and your and Nyx’s friends. Everyone except Azriel. When people slowly started leaving the house for the night, you felt tears welling up in your eyes. It shouldn’t have bothered you so much, you weren’t close with Azriel. Why should you care whether or not he’s here? Nevertheless, you found yourself needing to step out for air on the balcony.
Nyx came out and stood next to you by the railing as you two took in the view; he always had a sixth sense for when something was troubling you. “Hey, everything okay?” 
You tried to play it off, “I’m great, Nyx. You know how it is, the birthday blues strike again.” Nyx leveled you with a look that let you know he wasn’t buying your excuse. “Come on, I know when you’re upset. Could it have anything to do with a certain Shadowsinger?”
You couldn’t hide your shock as you looked up at Nyx. “Wh-what are you talking about? I.. I didn’t even notice he wasn’t here,” you sputtered out.
Nyx let out a laugh that had you punching him in the arm. “You asshole, why are you laughing at me when I’m crying?” you asked as your own tears turned to laughter at his infectious playful energy. 
“I hadn’t even mentioned that he wasn’t here. You told on yourself, sis,” Nyx lobbed back at you, and you turned beet red at the realization you’d been caught. “Shut up, it’s not like it’s obvious. You just know because you’re nosey as Hel.” 
Nyx slung his arm around your shoulder as he laughed again, “I think the only person it’s not obvious to is Azriel. Everyone else can see how you look at him.” You sighed, completely embarrassed that everyone apparently knew what you thought was your deepest secret. Nyx noticed your stress at the realization and squeezed your shoulder encouragingly, “it’s fine, sis. I can’t blame you for falling for those dreamy hazel eyes. But if I were you, I’d tell Azriel how you feel. It’s the only way you can move on, good or bad.” You nodded in agreement with him, and Nyx left a kiss on your head before turning around to head back inside. 
You noticed him falter in his movement for just a moment before collecting himself. “Oh hey, Azriel,” Nyx greeted cheerfully before slinking through the door without so much as a glance back at you. Traitor. You slowly turned around, praying to the cauldron that he couldn’t tell you had been crying. 
But you couldn’t have prepared yourself for the sight before you. Azriel stood in the doorway, hair windblown, wide-eyed and cheeks flushed as he panted for air. You took a tentative step towards him and spoke barely above a whisper, “Azriel. What are you doing here?” Azriel seemed taken aback by your question, but explained as he held up a package in his hand. “I flew here as fast as I could, and then I realized I hadn’t picked up your gift from where I had it wrapped and they were closed so I had to find the owner and get her keys and go to the shop and get your gift and then get the keys back and I flew here but I’m sorry it took so long, I messed it all up but I had to make sure I got you this tonight.” 
You were frozen in shock. You didn’t think you’d heard Azriel speak so much or so quickly in his life. He stepped towards you as he finally caught his breath, handing you the package. “Please open it, angel.” You took the package from his hands, unwrapping it shakily as you looked up to see his face filled with anticipation. Opening the box, your breath caught in your throat as you took in the sight of your favorite book inside. “It’s a first edition, and it’s signed. I know it’s your favorite book, and I searched all over for it. Helion had a copy in the Day Court library. There’s something inside the book as well.” You opened up the front cover to find a letter from the author to you wishing you a happy birthday. You looked up at Azriel through teary eyes, and something snapped inside your chest. You gasped as you felt like you’d been struck by lightning, and you realized. My mate.
Azriel gave you a soft knowing smile as he stepped closer to you. “I heard your and Nyx’s conversation. I had no idea that you felt that way. The bond snapped for me about four months ago, but I didn’t want to pressure you because I didn’t think you felt that way for me. I wanted you to have a special birthday, regardless of whether or not you are interested in accepting the bond.”
You were overwhelmed by joy at Azriel’s confession, your emotions emboldening you to reach up to Azriel’s face and cup his cheek. “This book was the most beautiful and thoughtful gift I’ve ever received, until I learned the cauldron gave me you.” You pushed up on your toes as Azriel leaned down, pulling you in close for a deep, passionate kiss that spoke more than any words could relay.
~~~
You can't help but laugh now as you think about that memory, how at one point in your life the scariest thing to you was to tell that male how you felt about him. The same male you smile at across the table exactly fifty years later as you blow out the candles without a wish, because you couldn't imagine wanting anything more than this.
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Bad Idea, Right? - Part 8
Eris x Reader/Azriel’s Daughter
If things go according to plan, Eris and Y/N’s first official date could end in hot, steamy sex. Or, it could end in complete and utter chaos - because when do things ever go according to plan? Azriel almost has a good time, until he doesn’t. We also FINALLY meet Tamlin’s daughter.
Part 7 Part 7.5 Headcanon
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Warnings: Alcohol, language, smutty content, assault with non-consensual kissing, breeding kink (kind of)
An evening breeze blew through Velaris sending a slight chill through the champagne golden silk dress I’d chosen for the evening. A caress of warmth rose up from the fingers I’d threaded through Eris’, heat continuing up my arm and throughout my body, counteracting the mild chill.
When he’d shown up to my door right on time, dressed in a deep forest green tailored suit with the top unbuttoned and a turtleneck that was - For one, so perfectly molded to his torso that I practically salivated as fantasies of licking his abs flashed through my mind. And two, conveniently matched my dress perfectly - I almost said “Fuck the date.” and jumped on him then and there.
He’d arrived carrying three things. A bouquet of hydrangeas for my mother, symbolizing gratitude for her grace with the current situation. Freesia bulbs for my little sister to add to her Sprite garden if she wished, a symbol of friendship. I realized the double meaning of it, to draw in sprites with wishes for friendship but also to symbolize their new budding friendship. My mother smiled softly as she realized it too.
For me, he’d brought a “Fire Poppy”, apparently native to his court. His hesitance to express the meaning of the flowers, told me enough. Fire. Passion. But the incredibly faint dust of pink on his freckled cheeks left me wondering if perhaps there was something more.
Father only appeared at the last moment to kiss my forehead and likely give a seething look toward Eris while doing so that warned, Just because I haven’t killed you yet doesn’t mean I won’t. Eris paid no mind.
And now here we were, walking through the streets of Velaris hand in hand. Eris’ focus remained intently upon me as I pointed out various shops that I would frequent. I pointed out one that I loved as a child and Azalea still adored. The window was decorated with paint splatters of primary colors that blended together into a rainbow mirroring the Sidra and inside floated hundreds of miniature fae lights imitating the skies of Night Court.
Eris paused as we stood before the shop. “Can we take a look inside?”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely perplexed by his interest in this shop of all the ones we’d wandered past.
“It’s a surprise.” He stated.
Because why would anything with Eris be anything but secretive?
Eris read my responding roll of the eyes for exactly what it was. “Surely you realize there is a difference between a surprise and a secret?”
I couldn’t help myself. “Many of your secrets have left me feeling quite surprised, Eris. Certainly you would realize that?”
He huffed a silent laugh leaving me on the street to go into the store. Set in my stubborn ways, I refused to let him win and stood outside waiting.
Eris was back by my side eight minutes later with a small canvas bag. I raised an eyebrow. “What’d you get?”
“Ah, if you wanted to know, you could have come in with me. Guess it’s my secret to keep.”
“Mother spare me. You are insufferable.” I muttered stepping ahead of him down the street. His long strides caught up with mine within a few steps.
He once again wound his fingers through mine. “You love it.”
And I hated that it was true.
“You’re not going to tell me what you got?”
“Just a gift for a friend.”
———————-
Eris had reserved a table at Sevenda’s where Sevenda herself eagerly greeted us. She ushered us to a private section of the restaurant, lit with candles and within earshot of a performing pianist. She’d kissed me on the cheek and given Eris a respectful bow of the head before bringing out a mouthwatering appetizer of some delectable cheese sauce she’d recently added to her menu.
The secluded setting of our table, incandescent glow flickering off the candles, and soft melody floating in from the piano, all flowed together into a very intimate setting. Strange that I had bared myself to this male so many times, and performed every sexual act imaginable with him, yet I’d never felt so exposed to him as I did in this very moment.
Eris checked his blazer, and gods… I only ever wanted to see him in fitted turtle necks or absolutely fucking nothing again. The male was delicious and his gaze…. He was greedily drinking me in as if he’d splay me out on the table itself and feast. There was no way he couldn’t smell the arousal pouring off of me. I sure as hell could smell his, and it was far more mouthwatering than any of the glorious spices wafting through the restaurant.
Before I could give in to my instincts, Eris’ low tone interrupted. “If you keep looking at me like that, Y/N, I’m not going to make it through this dinner.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to.”
He audibly groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
Just as our mutual eye fucking grew so intense that I genuinely wondered if Eris really was about take me then and there, our waiter approached with a bottle of the Inner Circle’s favorite wine. “Compliments of the High Lord.” Making eye contact with Eris, the male suddenly seemed to remember who he was in the presence of as he uncomfortably cleared his throat, “of the Night Court.”
Eris paid no mind and thanked the waiter. Surprise crossed the males face as Eris took the bottle from him and poured our glasses himself.
When the waiter took our orders and returned to the kitchen, Eris’ gaze returned to me. His eyes again roving over my body but lingering on my face. He smirked when he realized I was flushing under his intense eyes. “Are you nervous, little Shadowsinger?” He asked. His tone predatory.
I took the opportunity to send a shadow to caress the shell of his ear, effectively shutting him up.
“Now that we’re alone,” I ran my foot up the length of his leg, stopping the journey just short of where I so desperately wanted to feel him. “How long have you had an an apartment here and why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Ahh yes, excellent talk for a first date.” Eris mused, raising the wine glass to his plush lips and taking a long, slow sip before continuing. “Perhaps, I wanted a place to see you without you having to travel through multiple courts to find me.”
“Do you not wish for me to come to the Autumn Keep any longer?”
Eris’ change in tone took me by surprise as it became stern, the voice of a High Lord and not the bedroom voice of my lover. “Don’t you dare think that for a second. There’s nothing mo-“
He stopped himself mid-sentence shifting uncomfortably. “I enjoy your presence in my keep, in my bed, Y/N. But I also like to have the opportunity to visit you in your home court.”
My heartbeat quickened at the power flowing off of him, the desire in his amber eyes.
“So, Rhys was totally fine with you having a place here, just to hook up with his niece?”
“Diplomacy, darling. It is far easier to have a place here for times that negotiations and other meetings run over. It also benefits him to be able to have eyes on a fellow High Lord, no? It was not a difficult matter to convince him.
And I was going to tell you, you just happened to pick up the hobby of drunkenly wandering the streets before I had the opportunity.”
“I was fine.”
I was not fine. He knew it. I knew it. I was borderline feral that night.
“It wasn’t you I was concerned about. It was the poor citizens running the other way, screaming of a rabid, shadow-creature roaming Velaris in search of its next meal.”
I smiled. “For the second time this evening, Eris Vanserra, you are insufferable.”
“And again, little one, you love it.”
I rolled my eyes and took a swig of wine.
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Eris
She was fucking captivating. Eris drunk in every detail of Y/N like she was the wine flowing from her glass.
She had to know she looked like a goddess. Had he told her? She could read him like a well-adored book at this point. She read every look he gave her without him needing to speak a word. I want you. You’re perfect. I need you. You’re more perfect than I ever dared dream. I would kiss the earth you walked on if you only asked.
Shit, could she read that all on his face? Should he tell her how damned gorgeous she was or would she give him that all-too-enticing look of “Spare me the compliments, High Lord, you can strip and ravish me once we’re alone.”
And gods, he was going to. He had plans for his little Shadowsinger tonight, plans involving carefully undressing her and pressing kisses to her silken skin, replacing each bit of fabric slipping off of her body with a press of his lips. Instead of burning that lovely little number that was hugging her mouth-watering curves, he would proudly display it in the Autumn Court’s archives. He was a romantic, after all.
Of course, before putting it behind glass for safe keeping, he’d be binding those pretty little wrists behind her back with said dress. He was also a deviant.
As for his plans after that? They were far too filthy to fantasize about at the table.
“Your aroma is rather fragrant.” Her teasing voice broke him from his thoughts.
“And you’re rather intoxicating. We make quite the pair, love.”
And there it was - the little blush she always tried so hard to hide from him.
If just the term “love” brought that to her face, what lovely shades of pink would her cheeks light up with if he laid it all out right now? If he told her how she’d fucking ruined him for anyone else? That to taste her was to taste the nectar of the gods? That he was so hopelessly in love with her that there was no crawling out of this pit of desire, and he’d sooner drown in his need for her than ever swim up for air.
The urge to do just that frightened him. Why did he think this date was a good idea? As far as his self control went, it was a terrible idea. And as far as he cared at this point, it was the best idea. He was here, in front of her, and nothing else mattered.
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Eris had always thought himself better than the primitive beasts fae turned into when it came to their mates. But he truly realized how wrong he was when after dinner, Y/N had requested to walk very slowly along the river until her stomach wasn’t, as she so elegantly stated it, “bursting at the seams.”
Given that after the wonderful meal they’d devoured, he too was struggling, he obliged her, draping his suit’s jacket as well as his arm over her shoulders. She pressed a hand to her very, very, slightly bloated abdomen, in an effort of easing the discomfort. Such a simple gesture that should have meant absolutely nothing but….
An inferno blazed within him at the thought of her glowing with a round belly, the mating bond’s most primal instinct roaring at him to winnow her away immediately and fill her so utterly full of him that there would be no questioning of whose she was. His.
He prayed to the mother or whomever would listen that the breeze would blow the sickeningly strong scent of his arousal far away.
————————
Y/N
The gallery was packed. Unsurprisingly, anyone and everyone wanted to come out to brush elbows with the Inner Circle and who could blame them? Unlike the other courts of Prythian, Uncle Rhys and Aunt Feyre actually interacted with their people. Well, the people of Velaris at least. Feyre was respected as High Lady but she was revered as an artist. Proceeds from her own work went directly back into the arts district.
“Beautiful.” Eris mused approaching a work of art toward the back wall but keeping his eyes on me. I sipped the champagne an attendant handed me upon arrival, needing it to get through the rest of this evening.
Especially needing it to get through the work of art he was approaching.
“This.” Eris motioned toward the piece, “is stunning.”
“It’s not for sale. Just a work from one of Feyre’s students.”
The art, featuring darkness floating upward from the bottom and a blaze falling from the top, intertwining with licks and whirls of flame and shadow in the middle.
“Cost is of no concern to me, little one. I need it.”
A sing-song voice came from behind us. “It’s magnificent isn’t it?” Feyre asked.
“What can I do to acquire such a fine piece of art?”
“You’ll have to ask the artist.” She nodded toward me.
“Aww, come on my lovely niece. Think of all the supplies it could fund.”
“You’re a busybody.”
She only gave an airy laugh before disconnecting the mental bond and returning to the attendees.
“Wouldn’t it look lovely displayed for all of my court to see?”
My gut lurched and I wasn’t sure if it was from imposter syndrome or excitement.
“Fine.” I’ll make a deal with you, Eris Vanserra. He raised an eyebrow. “This art is very personal to me. And despite the fact that it is hanging in the gallery, I want it to be for your eyes only. Do you agree to hang it in your chambers?”
Eris gave a faux pout. “And not show my lovely lady’s art for all the world to admire?”
My heart raced as I quipped too quickly, not allowing the time to change my mind. “Perhaps I only want to be yours to admire.”
Eris visibly gaped at the statement and my heart sank. Had I read all of his adoration wrong? Was I going to humiliate myself just as I had two years ago when he’d left me on the dance floor and I swore I’d never let him have that power over me again?
He swallowed a lump in his throat. His voice breaking slightly. “And your payment terms?”
“Oh you’ll be paying out the ass for it.”
He grinned. “As one does for the finest things in life. I’ll take it.”
A beat of silence.
“And I’ll take you too, if you’ll have me.”
And with that he leaned in to kiss me, soft and hard, fervently and slowly, wanting more yet only needing this.
A throat cleared behind us as father interrupted. He looked to me and to the art behind me.
“I never realized….” He spoke softly as he took in the work.
I flushed, the work now feeling far too intimate under his gaze.
My father turned to Eris. “You’re purchasing this?”
Eris nodded. “A worthy investment, yes?”
My father remained tense but something in his eyes softened. “A very worthy investment.”
Father leaned in to kiss my forehead. “Enjoy your night sweetheart.”
It was at that moment Adish appeared, his Day Court friends Hem and Apollo in tow along with Nyx and a female I’d never seen before. Nyx looked in my direction with a wink as he saw the piece Eris and I stood before, before heading with the group for glasses of champagne.
Eris spoke, “I’m going to speak with Feyre regarding reservation of the piece before anyone else tries to snag it out from under me.”
“It’s not for sale, Eris. Nobody else would be able to purchase it.”
He pressed his warm lips into mine. “I won’t risk a good thing.”
I blushed, dismissing him.
Nursing my champagne, I perused the various pieces decorating the gallery walls when a female voice came from behind me. “If you wanted your father’s attention, there are better ways than whoring yourself to Autumn Court trash.”
I turned around to see the female Nyx had entered with. Her dark hair and blue eyes fooling nobody. Clever little shapeshifter.
“And I didn’t realize your father was in the habit of allowing females to leave his manor.”
She grinned. “Oh come on, he locked her in ONE time...or at least that’s what he tells me. He really can be an overbearing asshole sometimes.”
I laughed. “I missed you so much, you bitch. Nyx needs to stop hoarding you.”
“Please” she scoffed. “I don’t need Tamlin and Rhys’ melodrama to complicate things.”
“Ha, I’m sure Nyx filled you in on all of the drama in my world recently.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Oh yes, I’ve been living vicariously through your escapades.”
She leaned in to hug me. “So” I took in the brown hair she’d chosen for the evening. “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
“Why don’t you find out?”
“Mmm, as enticing as that would be. I prefer your blonde hair and green eyes. It does something for me.���
“It does something for Nyx too.”
I pretended to vomit before Nyx stepped in. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to spend time with my lady before she decides to leave with you instead and I get stuck with the fireling.”
“He’s quite fun, Nyx. I’m sure you’d enjoy the ride.”
Nyx choked on his drink and whisked Layla away with him, leaving me to take in the art in peace.
A few more minutes passed and my shadows grew restless as if contemplating the same thing as me: Eris should be back by now.
Feyre had returned to the gallery with no Eris in sight. I searched, passing Adish and Apollo, my parents and Azalea, Rhys and Feyre, Cassian and Nesta, even Amren, but no Eris.
Had he left? Did I scare him away?
No, his response was sincere. He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t, right?
I walked down a quiet hallway, stepping away from the crowd. “Eris?” I whispered into the quiet of the hall.
Two shadows returned with no information but another returned frantic. “Bad.” “Go.”
I hurried in the direction my shadows shot out, winding further and further down the hall.
My heart stopped. In front of me was the radiant, gorgeous Hemera, pressed up against my man. Lips crashing into his.
“Bad.” My shadow repeated. Whirling to show me something.
Eris saw me and his eyes blew wide, shaking his head.
Hemera turned, wicked grin contorting her gorgeous features into something cruel.
“Sorry, hon. He’s just so needy and so pretty. Can you blame me?”
Did this bitch really think I’d simper and turn away? Oh no. My shadows continued their whispers.
“Blade.”
“Bad.”
“Blade.”
“Bad.”
A sliver of silver caught the dim lights shining down upon them, a blade held to Eris’ neck.
Eris stared at me wide eyed as my shadows erupted into a frenzy around me in effort to distract the Day Court female.
She jolted and her blade knicked his neck and I felt a sudden spike of fear in my gut but the fear, it didn’t come from me. It was coming from…. Eris.
Holy shit.
Willing all of my power to the surface, my tone turned cold, dangerous. “I suggest you step away from my mate.”
The High Lord of the Autumn Court. Eris fucking Vanserra. My mate.
I gave a tug in return to his emotions. A gentle reminder that I had this under control and he instantly tugged back.
He knew. Holy shit, he had known.
I could be angry later, now I needed to save his ass.
A commotion came from behind me. Adish and Apollo rushing in. “What the-“ Adish started. “Sorry, friend.” Apollo spoke before the fucker cast a sedation spell on him.
Apollo towered over me. “You weren’t supposed to find them. For what it’s worth, you would have been a great friend.”
He moved, but I moved faster. Sending a blast of power knocking the male on his ass. My shadows binding him.
“You talk too much.” I spat.
Turning back to Hem and Eris she held him in front of her. “Don’t make me kill him.” She spoke. Now using him as a shield. With his front exposed, I could see the shackles around his wrists. “This could go much more easily if you let me leave here with him. Why do you want a cheating male? You deserve better than that.”
I needed time to assess. My shadows busy with Apollo. Fuck. This was bad.
I laughed. “I hardly call you forcing yourself upon him ‘cheating’, in fact most would call that ‘assault’. And I have no patience for those who force themselves upon others.”
Just then a flurry of shadows shot into the room, ripping Hem’s wrist and dagger from Eris’ throat. My father winnowed into the room. No, this wasn’t my father. This was the feared Shadowsinger, the infamous Spymaster of the Night Court. His tone promised death as he commanded Hem to step away from Eris. She fought his demand, shaking with fear as she remained in place. “Please, you don’t understand. My father is wrongfully imprisoned in HIS court.”
“And this is how you feel it best to approach?” Father stepped closer, a thick, violent air emanating from him. “I will ask you one final time to step away from the High Lord.”
Hemera knew she was no match as she dropped the knife stepping back away from Eris.
Eris ran to me, in an attempt to shield me from any fallout but there was no more danger as father’s shadows apprehended the female.
Rhys and Feyre raced into the room, Nesta and Cassian on their tail.
Rhys whispered to Feyre. “Let Elain know it’s handled.”
Feyre’s gaze went distant as she communicated to my mother.
Rhys commanded Apollo to remove the sedation spell from Adish as Cassian jerked the apprehended male off the ground.
Nesta’s eyes flared with silver as she stared down Hemera before apprehending her as well. My mother and sister rushed in as we followed Rhys down to the gallery basement toward an empty office where the two would be held until Helion arrived. Since they were denizens of his court, it was only right to determine the next steps with him.
As the group strode toward the office, Azalea began tugging at my sleeve. “Sissy.”
“Not now, Azzie.” She gasped, her little legs trying to keep up. “Sissy, please.”
“Just a minute, Azzie”
I felt guilty for ignoring her but my mind was coming out of the adrenaline state it had been in and my heart racing with rage and shock as I processed the revelation that Eris was my mate. That he knew and didn’t tell me.
Ironic considering that I always found Aunt Feyre and Aunt Nesta to be overly dramatic for their reactions to finding out about their own mates.
They were good, loving males who had enough money to live in lavish comfort for all of their days, and were highly regarded among the people of Velaris. How terrible.
Yet here I was. Fuming. Humiliated. That this male, a gorgeous High Lord and a damn good one at that, with a far softer heart than he’d ever let the world see, courted me because I was his mate.
I thought he wanted me for me.
“Sissy-“ Azalea drew me from my thoughts once again. “What?” I finally asked, raising my voice. But it was too late as the door to the empty office was opened, only to unveil a half naked Nyx, trousers unlaced, his body pinning a no longer shifted Layla with the bottom of her dress hiked up, and breasts fully exposed.
Nyx gaped. Eyes wide and frantic. I sent my shadows out to shield them, my father’s following suit, my hand instantly covering Azalea’s eyes.
Layla only pulled her dress up over her tits as she let out a laugh. “Whoops, we thought this room was unused.”
“I tried to tell you.” Azalea’s little voice whispered.
Darkness erupted through the room as Rhys clenched his fists. “What the fuck?” He growled out to Nyx.
My father only grinned, not caring who saw the smug satisfaction on his face. Fully conveying the look of that’s how it feels, you pompous asshole. Get it now? How’s it feel to be humiliated in front of an audience by the unconventional partner your child has chosen to fuck.
Feyre only covered her mouth, stifling a giggle at the situation. Nesta and mother quietly giggling with her.
I used the distraction to remove the enchanted shackles that were still stifling Eris’ power and apparently his ability to speak.
Fury blazed within me, my restraint failing as I spat out my next words much louder than intended.
“How long, Eris?”
Guilt flooded his features, his head hanging low.
“How. Long? How long have you known that I’m your mate?”
My father choked. The shit-eating grin instantly fading from his face, jaw and fists clenching.
A pitiful sound escaped Eris. “Since the first night… in the alley.”
“Wow.” was all I could manage as the walls began closing in around me.
I stepped away but Eris grabbed my wrist. “Please, Y/N. Just hear me out.” his broken voice pleaded. I couldn’t think. I needed space. Needed to breathe.
“Mom.” I looked to my mother. “Can we go home?”
She gave an empathetic look to Eris. “Come on, Azalea.” She reached out a hand. “Sissy needs us.”
Azalea looked to Eris, letting out a “hmph” as she scrunched her nose and crossed her arms. “That was bad.” She scolded, little wings ruffling with each word.
His face crumpled further as his little friend glared at him with disdain, words failing as she stuck her tongue out and winnowed away with mother.
“I love you.” was the last thing I heard as I spirited away.
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A/N: I have had so much fun writing this series! Part 9 will be the final chapter but I may eventually give our main character a name and add a few spin off chapters as well. If that would be of interested to you, let me know!
Tags:
ACOTAR list: @lilah-asteria
Eris list: @angiedsv
Series list: @b0xerdancer-writes @myheartfollower @ang-taylorsversion @acotarobsessed @uniquecolorwizard @justasillylittlegoofyguy @thelov3lybookworm @starryhiraeth @5moremin @azrielsmate3 @coolepowersthings @isa1b2h3 @inloveallthetime @julesofvolterra @deeshag @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @courtofbatboydreams @yourmumsdumptruck @nebarious @glitterypirateduck @mybestfriendmademe
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Masterlist + how to request
18+ = * angst = + fluff = >
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Acotar:
Nyx Acheron: Mine * Misogyny >
Azriel: Tolerate It + Opposite+ Opposite (part two) + > Safe Word* > Babies > Flowers (Part I) | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V Sacrifices (upcoming)
Rhysand: Innocent *
Cassian: You Belong With Me (upcoming)
Lucien: Scars and All + >
Helion:
Eris:
Nesta:
Feyre:
Elain:
Archeron sisters headcanon:
Fourth Wing:
Xaden:
Liam:
Garrick: Worship (upcoming)
Bodhi: Missed You * >
Brennan: Perfect (upcoming) Bruises
Percy Jackson (the show):
Percy: Life Lately
Annabeth:
Luke: How you get the girl (smau) How you get the girl pt2 smau The Lucky One smau Love Bite (smau)
Clarisse
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED !!
my school has started and i have way too many drafts so i’ll slowly finish them throughout the term and then in the holidays the requests will reopen
i have a bunch of extra classes and am in a shit ton of advanced classes 😭 so i prolly won’t have time to write much.
you can still chat to me tho!
How to request:
Head to the request/ask anything tab and please specify if it's a request
State the character and your ask
for anons: add your anon emoji (if u want to ofc)
I currently write for:
ACOTAR (Azriel, Cassian, Rhysand, Eris, Lucien, Nyx, Nesta, Feyre, Elain) Fourth Wing (Garrick, Bodhi, Brennan, Xaden, Rhiannon, Imogen, Liam) PJO (Percy, Luke, Annabeth, Clarisse)
Prompt Lists:
Fluff prompt list Angst prompt list Smut prompt list
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hellcat8908 · 6 months
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Hii I love all your work for nyx could you write a fic where his mate struggles with alot of anxiety and depression so one day when the reader doesn't visit the night court at all he can tell somethings up and finds her in her room breaking down but he manages to comfort her
His Burden Nyx x Female Reader (Both Adults)
Warnings: Mental Health, Language, Angst
As you quickly made your way back home, you shielded the bond, not wanting to be a burden to Nyx while he was at the Night Court. The words you weren't meant to hear from a group of women outside the Court had triggered your attack. Even though they hurt what they had said was true.
You knew you were a burden to Nyx. You've caused him to have to leave his duties early or not be able to spend time with his family because of your attacks. You had taught yourself how to shield the bond to prevent him from any guilt over not knowing.
You made it home and walked upstairs. You laid in bed grabbing Nyx's pillow. His scent brings you some comfort as you focus on the breathing techniques Nestavhad taught you. You'd hope it would be enough, but your mind kept turning on you. Dragging you further into the darkness filled with your insecurities. You could feel your chest tighten as your breathing became shallow.
You managed to get out of bed and into the shower, leaving the water as hot as it could be. You sat under the stream of water and tucked your knees to your chest as the tears fell. Your clothes cling to your skin as they become soaked. You're pulled under, and you sink further into the darkness that is your mind.
Nyx keeps awaiting your arrival, glancing at the doors. He carries on with his duties while he starts to worry. He keeps his face neutral as he uses his daemati powers to ask his mother to check on you. He impatiently waits to hear back while carrying on about his business. Feyre informs him you didn't answer the door and the house is dark.
Nyx mentally curses and tries reaching you through the bond again, but no response comes. He reaches out to Rhys, asking if he can come take over for him. Rhys responds that he will and walks in moments later, allowing Nyx to excuse himself. After exiting the room, he rushes home.
As he bursts through the door, he starts calling your name. He takes the stairs 2 at a time as he makes his way to the bedroom. Upon discovering it empty, he calls out again, "Babe, where are you?" Still no response, but he hears the shower running. He quickly makes his way into the bathroom and finds you in the shower.
Noticing you're still dressed, he kneels in front of you, " babe, I'm here." He says softly, reaching out for you. The water is ice cold, and he sees you shivering. "Fuck, babe. We need to get dried off and warmed up." He turns the water off and carefully carries you out of the shower.
He sits you on the counter, "I'm going to remove your wet clothes and dry you off." Nyx says, hoping for some sort of a response. You just stare blankly as your eyes are bloodshot and puffy from all the crying. He gently peels your wet clothes off of you before grabbing a towel and gently drying you off from head to toe.
He grabs one of his sweatshirts and pulls it over you. You quit shivering as he picks you up and carries you to bed with him, climbing in and keeping you in his lap as he holds you. He pulls the blanket over you and gently strokes your hair. "Come back to me, please." He says softly. "I'll be here waiting as long as it takes. Please come back to me." He continues.
He gently starts rubbing soothing circles on your back as your breathing starts to sync with his. "I've got you." He says as he kisses the top of your head. He keeps reassuring you he's there, and you're not alone as he tries to comfort you while warming you up. "What they said was mean, but it didn't make it any less true." You say softly, barely loud enough for Nyx to hear.
"What who said? When did they say this?" Nyx asks, trying to remain calm for you. "The women outside of court today, I wasn't meant to hear them." You say numbly. Nyx hates how hollow you've become in a matter of hours. "What women? What did they say?" He asked with a hint of anger.
"I'm a burden to you, your family, and your friends." You answer. "You've never been a burden to any of us. I don't know what's made you think that, but those women have no right to comment on things they know nothing about." Nyx tells you, gently turning your face towards his letting you see the truth to his words.
"Stop trying to pretend I don't make your life harder with my issues. You've had to miss out on so many things because of me. I'm holding you back, and I'm selfish for holding onto you when I know how much I've ruined for you." You say as you move to get out of his lap. His arms tighten around you, trying to hold you. "Let go of me."  You demand.
He releases you, and you move to sit at the edge of the bed. "I can't keep you from living your life the way you were meant to." You tell him softly. Even though you're only inches away from him, it feels like miles. "I'm living my life the way I want to, and that includes being with you." He says, trying not to escalate the discussion. "You'd be better off without me and my issues." You tell him.
"Stop. Stop telling me what you think is best for me." He tells you. "I've listened to this long enough, and we need to clear things up. You have never been a burden to me or anyone close to me. I love you, and my family loves you. I haven't missed out on anything because without you, those memories aren't worth having." He says, kneeling in front of you, gently resting his hands on your legs.
"Love, you are my everything, and without you, life isn't worth living. You make me the happiest I've ever been. If somedays you need a little extra love, I've got an endless supply to give you. You're not a burden. You're my mate, and I have the honor of taking care of you." He says gently, taking your hand in his.
His words bring tears to your eyes as he sits beside you and holds you. "I'll always be here for you, just promise me you won't quit on me." He says as he gently wipes your tears. "I promise." You tell him softly. "Come on, Love. I'll make you something to eat since I know you haven't eaten all day." Nyx says as he helps you to your feet.
"Can we have breakfast?" You ask excitedly at the idea. "My baby gets whatever she wants. He says as he leads you to the kitchen. "Well, in that case -" you say teasingly. Nyx just laughs and pulls you into his side, "Like I said whatever you want." You smile, "Well what I really want is this."
You say before kisding him softly. He deepens the kiss, wrapping his arms around you. You break the kiss and give him a genuine smile, which he returns. "I love you." You tell him. "I love you too." He says. "Now to make breakfast for my beautiful girl." Nyx says.
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spineless-lobster · 2 months
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Do you think zagreus always felt out of place growing up because nyx looked at him with a certain sadness in her eyes that also longed for his mother?
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fever-fluff · 6 months
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Home V
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Word count: 3.2k (Not Proof Read) Azriel is butting heads with his new companion, being forced to recognise some hard truths...
Part IV , Part VI
The waves crashing against one another was a sound she hadn’t realised she’d missed so much in her time away. Brien had taken up post beside her, finally moving away from their guest for the first time since that night. She had felt his reluctance to carry out their journey after she had woken him for the terrors that had plagued his mind. It wasn’t the first time he had dealt with them, she supposed. But the undiluted fear that had come off him in waves was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.
So, she had silently requested Brien to accompany him when she couldn’t. And now that they’d made t to the swelling ocean, his anticipation to slip away had turned into a desire to run from what he’d promised. She’d smelt the shift so intensely that she almost felt bad for keeping him here. But their work was more important than running from inner demons, at least to her anyway. Besides, there was no telling whether he’d return to Indere to Mor, and she couldn’t allow someone a new friend held so dear decide to disappear into his shadows.
She moved away from them towards the cove they’d need to complete the journey from, walking down the steep rocks she’d passed so many times she didn’t need to follow Brien’s lead anymore, but his presence in front of her was a welcome one. They’d spent centuries together, sometimes it only being the two of them, and he had become apart of her just as much as she for him.
Aodhan was talking to Azriel behind her, explaining how they’d cross safely without fear of the swallowing waves beneath. “You’ll have to fly on the currents, making sure to take the ones sweeping up and avoiding those that’ll push you towards the swell. It gets easier as you do it, but winnowing is out of the question. There’s wards up that haven’t been broken longer than I’m alive.”
“And another reason Mor wouldn’t be able to cross regardless of whether she was allowed to or not.” He’d already pieced together that it was too dangerous to carry another fae as you navigated the currents. Aodhan nodded in confirmation, “We’ve had sailors and other fae try to cross before, whether they knew the islands were inhabited or not, we don’t know. Their secrets went down with them to the bottom of the sea.”
She was still looking towards the sound of the sea when she’d heard his next question. “Which still doesn’t explain how you’re crossing…” She smiled, not straying from her position, but pulled a sharp whistle to Brien who was preoccupied with sniffing around something to her right. Her voice cut loudly to the howling wind that had picked up as if it sensed the oncoming flight, “I can’t let you in on all my secrets just yet Shadowsinger.”
Brien moved to her feet, his physical body shifting into something else, something entirely magic. It swirled around her, climbing from her legs upwards and taking whatever was physical of her with it. There was no sign of her feet beneath her, not feeling of them either. They ceased to exist, as did the rest of her body as Brien climbed and climbed. It was always terrifying, feeling everything she was and is being turned into what felt like nothing. Brien had reached her neck as she bid her goodbyes, “I’ll see you both on the other side,” and the very last of her body was engulfed.
There was never any memory of what had happened once her consciousness was consumed. She had been something, then wasn’t, and until Brien decided to place her back in the physical world she did not exist in and shape or form. She always thought maybe one day, if Brien ever decided to, he could just allow her to be that way for eternity. She didn’t know if he could form his physical body without bringing her back, and never thought it necessary to find out. 
The return of her was always more tedious than the consuming, taking longer as if Brien wanted to make sure he didn’t forget to form a toe or a finger on the way back. Azriel and Aodhan hadn’t made it over yet, and she wondered if he’d actually attempted to make a run for it when she had disappeared. But the beats of two pairs of wings from the sea was enough to confirm her thoughts wrong. She sat perched on a rock, Brien wrapped loosely around her shoulders, purring loudly. He always craved the closeness of it after, as if he missed her presence in the short time she wasn’t there. Aodhan and Azriel were panting from the exertion it took to cross over, she wondered if either of them had gotten close to being swallowed on the way over.
She stood as the caught their breath, moving to greet the two of them on home soil. Home. It felt good to be able to call the ground she stood on that. The chieftains were right to call her, it had been far too long.
“Azriel” his body turned to her attention, “welcome to our home.”
    
Azriel never, never, wanted to agree to a race like that again. After he had gotten over his spluttering about how Brien had practically eaten her in a wave of pure magic, Aodhan had insisted that it was the best way to cross, that it would take his mind off the sheer force that would be beneath him. But it had done no such thing, and he’d nearly toppled through the rough wind too many times and fell straight into a watery grave. Dancing with death had always been easy for him and his brothers, but that was sheer stupidity.
But, looking at where he’d be stationed for the next while, he understood what that graveyard beyond the cliffs was hiding.
Peace.
He felt it in the wind, soft and warm unlike the ones he’d just flown through. Lush green covered the sloping sides of the tops of the cliffs above him, a colour so inviting he felt the itch to roll in it like he were a dog. Trees of every kind seemed to guard him on both sides, and the sounds of running water filed his ears from somewhere. There was a quiet here he had never felt before, there was no inkling of being alert for oncoming dangers from somewhere. This place was a land that felt like he had passed on, but the aches in the muscles holding his wings and the tightness still filling his chest from a lack of air grounded him from thinking he had truly died going over the water.
They had begun to walk inland, passing floral and fauna that had gone undisturbed for centuries, unperturbed by their trek and seemingly unaware of the predators they could be. Azriel had never seen the likes of it -even Velaris, the city which held an imaginable number of dreams and hopes couldn’t hold a candle to the utter surrealness of this place.
Even watching her as she walked among paths long trodden into the earth, her steps were lighter than before. Like she had nothing to fear behind the bends ahead or the treeline to her side. Brien didn’t walk as closely to her either, shifting between prancing legs and swift wings as he basked in the afternoon sun overhead. The stopped slightly as they came to a dip in the land, the expanding view of her land filling his vision. She nodded towards Aodhan, “Fly ahead and let everyone know we’re back.” His arrival with them a silent command between her words was not lost on him as Aodhan unfurled his wings and split through the air, the gust he left behind making Azriel plant his feet more firmly in place. Before he had even looked to the sky, Aodhan had flown out of sight.
“Sometimes I forget the strength he has until he takes off.” The fondness in her voice was contagious and Azriel found himself smiling along. “You must be proud.”
Her face had tilted towards the sun to take in the heat as she sighed, “You have no idea.”
“When he was fifteen, he’d crash landed into the roof of our home, falling into where I was sitting trying to enjoy a glass of wine after a long day. It took him a week to repatch the hole. But the entire time all he could talk about was how fast he had flown and how he’d become faster and faster.” They were walking side by side now, his attention raptly on the joy she seemed to light up with as she gave him a laugh, “I couldn’t even be mad about the roof, or that he could have hurt himself. He seemed so happy in that moment that all I wanted from then on was to keep it that way, that he’d never feel bad about being who he was.”
“His happiness meant your happiness” Azriel thought back to Nyx, already noting the familiar feeling he had for his nephew brewing in his chest. “My brother, he has a little one now with his mate. I’m certain the whole family would tie the stars on strings for him if it’d make him smile.”
“It’s terrifying, thinking what you’d justify to bring them happiness. Everything is fair game when it comes to them.” her sentiment was horrifyingly true for Azriel. If anything -or anyone- ever got in the way of Nyx, not only would Feyre and Rhys burn the world, the rest of them would destroy whatever ash was left over in their wake. The air had turned tense around them for a moment until she spoke again, “It’s the reason I’m doing this, pushing to open the boarders that is… Aodhan, like many of the younger ones, is restless. He’s never truly seen the rest of the world. And this peace we’ve created, it’s become suffocating for them.”
She made to grasp his hand, gripping his fingers with hers stiffly, as if it would convey how much resolve she had in her to make this happen. “Children of peace are so different from children of war, Azriel. He – they – need the freedom we’ve kept from them for too long.”
He wanted to believe her, truly. But he’d seen so much of the ugly side of the world that he couldn’t bring himself to stop the words spilling from his mouth, “The world isn’t as welcoming as you think. It’s not as beautiful as here, the wounds are still so fresh from everything that I doubt even the next few centuries can fix it. Too much blood has been shed…”
“And yet your sister tends to those wounds not far from here, doing the work so many before have been too scared to even consider a possibility.” Something hard had entered her tone, and he felt himself wishing to take back his words if only to remove it as quickly as it had come, but he persisted. “She’s creating trade routes, what you’re implying is opening up a world, an unknown world, to the rest of us. You can’t possibly think it will end in peace…”
“She’s connecting worlds, how is that so different from what I want?”
“You know damn well how different it is. You’ve been cut off from the rest of us for centuries! You hid during wars that the rest of us bled for, how welcoming do you think our world will be to yours once they realise you have come out of everything unscathed while the rest of us clawed our way out of hel to rebuild what was left?” She’d ripped her grip from his at that, eyes hardening and levelling him. Even though he knew she couldn’t very well see him, Azriel had a mind to take a step back. “Do not try to educate me on political matters I am damn well aware of Shadowsinger. I see now I should have let you slink off in your fear instead of having Brien watch you like a dog.”
Azriel bristled at her admission, “Fear? Do you think that was what that was?” the distance he created closed instantly as he matched her stance a hair’s breadth away, “I have come here, an unknown territory with unknown fae, unguarded and you believe I am afraid?” His wings had spread wide, shadows pouring from them steadily as if to snuff the light that surrounded the two of them forever in a sea of darkness. But the female in front of him didn’t cower, didn’t balk at his act of dominance as so many others had.
“I have been alive for over seven hundred years; I know fear when I smell it. And the stench of it smothers you Azriel, whether you realise it or not.”
The hitch of his breath seemed to pull her from the fight she seemed so wound up to have, and she sighed when he answered her with a growl. “Azriel, I am not ignorant to what fae outside these islands may think. But this is the only step forward. If you do not want to help, then that is your choice, and you may leave whenever you want. But do not shut a door you haven’t properly opened yet.”
As she stepped away from him and the wave of shadows around them, turning to begin the walk again, Azriel felt himself torn in two. He was still angry, her implication still stinging fresh, but he hadn’t lost himself enough to forget the rest of her words. So, begrudgingly, he made to follow. Brien had flown back in between it all probably to ensure his masters safety and now slunk in between her steps, chuffing at him as if it was his fault the mood had turned sour. He growled back lowly at the disrespect, but the familiar had already taken to ignoring him in favour of watching a butterfly in the nearby brush.
  
Azriel wasn’t sure what to expect with his arrival, newly announced as it was. For somewhere so disconnected, surely a newcomer would warrant some type of wariness in the form of unchecked violence should the need arise. But, as they reached as small town that she had told him was one of many that sat on the outskirts of the main part of the island, he was met with very much the opposite.
Fae with wings very much like Aodhan’s had come out in groups to get a glance of what they’d heard to be an emissary of the known world. Small children, more than he had ever seen in one place his entire life, huddled in groups or at the legs of who were most likely their parents as he passed through beside her. Their whispers reached his ears quickly.
Gods, look at his wings…
Mom, why do they look like that?
Dad, why does his wings look different to ours?... He’s not fae like us son, he’s a foreigner. What’s a foreigner? Ahhhh, it’s someone who comes from a different place than you do… Oh….
Do you think he can fly in the rain?
Wonder where he’s coming from? Probably the continent, it’s where Danu was last visiting.
He looked to her in question of the last whisper he listened to, “Danu?”
“An honorary title, it’s what most fae will use instead of my given name.” He hummed his understanding, “So should I be using it as well?”
She threw him a shrug as they entered one of the buildings, “If you want, it makes no difference to me.”
The building turned out to be a tavern of a sorts. Bottles lined the shelves behind a counter, and tables with precarious looking stools littered the rest of the floor. But she made for the back of the room, pulling back a piece of fabric to reveal a better looking table and chairs made for those with wings more private than the rest of the place. Danu, he supposed it would be best if he honor her name here for the good graces of the rest, motioned for him to sit while she went to grab the bottle and two tumblers the barkeep had left on the counter without a word.
Pouring what looked to be whiskey for each of them, she lifted her glass in cheers to his and downed it in one go. It burned his throat as fire would going down, hitting the base of his stomach far harder than any liquor in Rita’s ever had and he found himself staving off a cough.
“Uisce thine, one of the best things to ever grace the world of drinking.” Azriel didn’t really agree with her sentiment. If either Cassian or Nesta got their hands on the likes of this, well, there wouldn’t be much to keep the chaos that would ensue from happening. “Perhaps you should keep this on the island.” Their spat from earlier on seemed to be a matter of the past for her as she laughed in understanding. Pouring a second round, she began to tell him more of her home and how to navigate it. “Muintir na Lasrach are an old race, they predate even some families of high fae and our customs are much different to yours.”
He listened closely to how they didn’t believe in the mother creating the known world, and how the phoenix was one of four gods who had given up a single feather to create them from fire, wind and clay. “Like the phoenix, they’re incredibly selfish down to their very nature, so I’d be careful if you decide to venture outside of political connections and who you choose to do that with. Male and females alike are extremely territorial if they’ve claimed someone for themselves, and because you’re an outsider death wouldn’t be too harsh a punishment if you put a foot wrong.” Azriel felt his stomach drop as the memory of Rhys swearing him off Elain resurfaced. He’d made the mistake of coming between fate once before, he wouldn’t do it again. “No mates. Noted.”
Her brows pulled together in rebuttal. “There’s no mates on the island, at least not in your knowledge of the term. Everyone here chooses their partner of their own accord, no fate involved. They’re just extremely territorial is all I’m saying.”
Azriel didn’t know how to comprehend what she’d admitted. Regardless of whether they believed in the mother or not, how could there be no semblance of mates anywhere. “How is that possible?”
She made to pour one last drink for them before they’d go to an inn for the night, “A story for another time. Drink up, and I’ll tell you the rest of what you need to know after we’ve had some stew.”
Pronunciation of words
Muintir na lasrach —> mwin-ter na lass-rock
Uisce Thine —> ish-kah chin-a
Aodhan —> a-dawn
Taglist @mis-lil-red, @justdreamstars, @florencemtrash
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midnightarcheress · 9 days
Text
you panic.
pairing: bodyguard!ghost x actress!reader cw: reader's pov. panic attack, simon in protective mode, hurt/comfort ig? 6 | gold rush masterlist.
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you couldn’t breathe. the room seemed small, walls closing in and trapping your limp figure inside of an endless nightmare, compressing your lungs until no air reached your alveolus. the mirror reflected the terror stamped on your face, bloodshot eyes staring at the terrifying warning that froze your blood flow and the trembling hands clutching to your arms, wrapping your torso like a straightjacket, desperately trying to pressure your body into disappearing from that reality.
up to this point, you’ve managed to control your fear. shove your worries aside, trust that nothing would trespass your walls and infinite security measures, promise yourself that it would never infest your brain, but that was the last straw. it was your home. you weren’t safe anywhere and it was just a matter of time until you’d be ripped to shreds in your own garden, crimson painting the destroyed flower beds and a golden crown placed on your head like a perfect corpse-bride.
your knees dropped to the frigid floor with a thud, dreadful mist clouding your vision as tears rolled down your cheeks. you couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak, and the alcohol in your veins only managed to heighten the panic. your soul was floating out of your form, knocking on the bars of the prison, looking for a way out of the ordeal and hoping that it was just a hallucination. the loud thumps of your heart ringed in your ears, muffling Ghost’s attempts to get your attention.
the knot in your throat kept tightening, constricting your vocal cords until the only sounds that could be heard were your strained sobs. being in your own skin was overwhelming and you’d give it all to escape the well you were stranded in, but the water was rising quickly, covering your head and drowning any attempt at tranquillity.
“hey, i’m here,” Ghost said, trying to coax you back to the present, “just focus on my voice, can you take a deep breath for me?” 
your dilated pupils take the sight of him crouched on the floor and follow the movement of his chest, letting his low timbre pierce your eardrum and soothe your heartbeat. you mimic him, feeling the crisp air cursing through your nostrils, down your trachea and bronchi, finally having enough oxygen in your system. 
“can i touch you?” he asks, and you notice the concern behind his hazel irises. you can’t ignore the shame that came with your panicked state, breaking down in front of someone you barely know and who must’ve endured so much worse in his life. you hate feeling weak, frail, like you’d crumble by just one look, but you need comfort. need it so badly that you nod, allowing him to take your quivering hand in his.
his grip is firm, and despite the roughness of his palm, the touch is delicate, tender, enveloping you in gentle heat. you melt in his arms, pitiful sobs leaving your lips when you turn in nothing more than putty in that moment. “shh, i got you, everything will be alright,” he coos, doing his best to calm you, but you couldn’t believe him.
how could everything be alright? the last ounce of safety you had was just taken from you. “it’s my– it’s my home, Ghost,” you stutter, lifting your head to look at him, “i’m not safe in my own home anymore, i can’t–” another wave of tears flood your waterline, and you stop before finishing your sentence. the anxiety was still bubbling in your stomach, it was still too much to handle at once. 
“i know, love, i’ll get you out of here, trust me. nothing will harm you. now just breathe, okay? slow and steady.” his tone is light, almost ethereal, but unmistakably determined. it sounded more than just a phrase to pacify you. it was a promise. a vow. one made with his whole heart and he wouldn’t die before making sure you’re safe.
it takes a while before your brain settles back, slipping out of the hysteria. Ghost lifts you to your feet, taking a step back to give you some space. you sense him studying your expressions, wanting a hint of how to proceed. “what do you need?” he questions softly.
what do i need? the query lingers on your mind while he gazes at you. you're not sure. you never had an attack like this, never had an emotional collapse, never needed so much comfort. “i... don't know,” you gulp, glancing around the room and viewing the bathroom door, “i guess i could go for, uhm, a bath? it might help, right?”
he nods, pacing past you and walking through the door. you faintly hear the running water filling the bathtub and you strip off your heels, your clothes, let your hair fall down and your skin feel the cool air of the room. you shiver, but the tingling of the cold reminds you that you’re still alive, so there’s still a flimsy hope of peace in your future. 
you put on a robe and head to the bathroom, tip-toeing on the chilling tiles. Ghost moves to the exit, allowing you privacy in your vulnerable state, but your meek request makes him freeze on the spot. “can you... stay?” you sigh, “i’m scared of being alone right now.”
he pauses, not knowing how to answer, and you shift your weight from one leg to another, fingers fidgeting with the fluffy belt that holds your covering in place, regretting even asking for such a thing. “sure.” he clears his throat, taking a seat in the tiny wooden ottoman in the corner. the image is quite comical, the bulky man slowly leaning down to the stool as if one glance from him would crack the material, and a timid chuckle escapes your mouth.
his face turns to the side when you undo the knot of your robe and you feel the heat coming to your cheeks when you come to your senses. what the fuck did i ask? you’re bare, slipping into the warm water that was supposed to relieve your anxious mood, but that mainly swells your chest with embarrassment. 
you don’t know if you should be grateful that he’s not making a big deal of it, or sink in the tub due to the quiet – too quiet – atmosphere. Ghost is nothing but a gentleman at that moment, maintaining his head down and eyes away from your blurred naked body, so different from every man you’ve been near. they all seem to think that because you’re known, famous, whatever, you’re merely a doll on display for public use. it’s nice to not feel like an object.
after a long hour of letting the water purge your anguishes, you find yourself draped on a blanket on the sofa, sipping on a cup of chamomile tea that he, so heartily, prepared. he’s on the phone in the next room, and you don’t want to pry, but your ears unconsciously perk up to catch some of his words. he’s talking to someone named Price? something about a safe house? 
a few minutes later, he’s back, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “so, we’re gonna move,” your brows raised, confused by his statement, “talked to an old friend and i got you a safe place, you can stay there as long as you need, the bastard won’t find you. and i’ll be there with you all the time, okay?” he’s gonna stay with me?
rationally, you know it’s a good idea. you don’t feel protected in your house anymore, and having him constantly by your side would probably give your heart a rest and unburden your shoulders. but moving is a big thing for a life so regulated. “Dan–” 
“i’ll talk to him tomorrow, don’t worry,” he assures, putting a hand on your knee and giving you a small smile. your vision was so hazy before that you didn’t even notice that he had his mask down, and you find yourself musing on the curve of his lips. 
“thank you, Ghost.”
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bookish-whore · 1 year
Text
Exile
Azriel x Reader
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: ANGST, mentions of infidelity, cursing
A/N: Welcome to Day Five!! After the slight hiccup yesterday I have rewritten and replanned this fic. it will still be a few parts but with much more angst and heartbreak. Love you ❤️
My Masterlist -> Here
Join my Taglist -> Here
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It didn’t feel real, I still couldn’t believe it.
I hadn’t been feeling that well and so today while Az was in a meeting with Rhys and Cassian I decided to go to a healer. I thought I had a cold or caught a stomach bug or something but as it turns out it was neither.
Her words were still ringing in my ears.
We hadn’t really talked about having children yet, I mean it had only been two years since the bond became apparent between us and we had accepted it and while I was nervous about telling Az I thought he would be ecstatic about being a father. I saw the way he handled Nyx, the way he would get his longing look in his eyes when he held the babe and I knew it was only a matter of time before we talked about a family of our own…
But now it was real.
I was pregnant.
I couldn’t wait to surprise him with this tonight.
I knew that his senses were finely tuned and in all honesty, I was surprised that he hadn’t been the first to notice the subtle change in my scent. In his defense he had been rather busy with work as of late, Rhysand had him pulling a lot of extra hours and nights doing reconnaissance on the Autumn Court.
I put a shield in place, similar to what Rhys had done for Feyre when she was with child to keep it a secret a little while longer and I grabbed my bag making my way to the market, I was going to surprise him with all of his favorite foods tonight.
I returned to our apartment to find it was still empty.
I spent hours cooking and baking all Azriel’s favorites, I checked the time and it was half past six which meant he would be home any minute. I quickly set the table, lit the candles and set all the food onto it. I even made him a drink to relax him after his day.
And I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I decided to eat an hour later. The food was delicious even if it was cold. But when I hadn’t heard anything about his whereabouts two hours later I gave up on the notion he was coming home for dinner and began cleaning up. I left him a plate of food wrapped in the fridge in case he was hungry when he arrived. If he arrived.
I made myself a cup of tea and sat by the fire reading a book, I figured he would just be home late but as I watched the time pass by I became worried.
Where was he?
Why hadn’t he come home yet?
I tugged on the bond, needing the confirmation that he was alright but I was met with silence. He had closed his side of the bond and I couldn’t get through. He had shut me out.
That thought only spurred on an avalanche of my worst fears.
I began pacing the apartment my hand absentmindedly resting on my lower abdomen. I contemplated reaching out to Rhys or Feyre but it was so late and perhaps they had sent him on a brief overnight mission and he just forgot to tell me. It wouldn’t be the first time and it would explain the bond’s silence. He usually shut me out during longer missions to keep himself focused.
I concluded that was the explanation as I sat back down curling into one of the large chairs in the living room and focused on my book. He would still have some serious apologizing to do.
I must have fallen asleep because I woke to daylight streaming through the windows of our living room.
The apartment was quiet.
I got up from the chair stretching out my limbs as I made my way to the kitchen for breakfast. As I cooked, I heard the faint sound of footsteps, followed by the clamoring of keys as the front door unlocked and Azriel stepped through the door his hair tussled and his eyes tired.
I ran into his arms, looking over him for any sign he was injured before I hit him square in the chest.
“Where the hell were you?” I exclaimed
“I’m so sorry my love. Rhys had me go to the Autumn Court yesterday to set up a network of informants it all happened so quickly and took much longer than expected” he apologized.
“I was worried sick Azriel” I said “I thought something had happened to you.”
He grabbed my face and kissed me “I love that you worry about me y/n, and I love that you care so much about my safety”
“of course I do you overgrown bat” I said as I wrapped my arms around his torso burying my face in his chest and breathed deeply. I noticed that he smelled…different.
I didn’t think too much of the jasmine and honey scent I thought it had something to do with the baby considering I was already hyper-sensitive to certain smells.
“Are you hungry?” I asked him “I was just making breakfast”
“I need a shower, then I’m all yours” he said pressing a kiss to my temple as he disappeared into our bedroom.
He emerged 10 minutes later, his hair wet and his clothes much more casual. I set a plate of food in front of him and took my seat as we ate in comfortable silence.
“Don’t forget we have dinner tonight at the River House” I reminded him
He nodded taking a sip of his coffee “that’s not until later though” he said suggestively “Come to bed with me” he begged holding his hand out
He did this sometimes, when he would come home off schedule and would spend the day in bed with me. They were my favorite days when the world didn’t exist outside of our room. We laid in bed all day simply holding each other. He fell asleep resting between my legs his head on my stomach as I rubbed small circles on his head and back.
Before we knew it we were headed to dinner.
When we got there Azriel immediately went to find Rhys and Cassian and I rendered my services to Feyre. I helped her put the finishing touches on dinner and set the table.
Dinner was fun as usual. Full of laughter and interesting conversation. I helped Feyre clean up, collecting the dishes and cleaning the table. When we were finished I wondered where Azriel had gone off to.
I walked into the sitting room and saw Mor, Amren, Varian, Nesta and Cassian. I had left Rhys and Feyre in the kitchen and I walked through the house looking for my mate.
As I turned the corner I heard faint voices. As I approached I realized we were outside Azriel’s room in this house, the door was shut but I could scent Azriel but I also scented something else it weirdly smelt like this morning…jasmine and honey?
It was then that I heard her voice through the door.
Elain? What was she doing in there with Azriel?
I couldn’t help but listen, pressing my ear to the wall to hear what they were saying. A part of me felt guilty invading his privacy like this but then they spoke.
“It was a mistake Elain” Azriel said, his voice sounded desperate
“What if it wasn’t. maybe…maybe the cauldron was wrong because Az I-I”
“Don’t” Azriel warned
“I think I love you” she said
“I have a mate Elain, a woman I love very much more than anything else in this world”
“Then why did you spend the night with me”
“I shouldn’t have” he said “it was a mistake, it was a lapse of judgement and it won’t ever happen again”
“Come on Az, you’re telling me that not even a small part of you wants to be with me instead? I am so much better than her, I deserve you, we deserve each other” she pleaded
Their voices suddenly sounded far away as it took a moment for the words to sink in. Last night he told me he was in the Autumn Court, that he was working How many nights had he told me he was working late recently. How many nights had he lied to me, lied to my face and spent time with another woman.
I needed to get out of here.
I felt sick.
So I ran.
I ran through the halls of the River House looking for someone who would tell me the truth. I found Feyre first. her face was full of concern as she took notice of me, my eyes wild and full of tears.
“Y/n” she said softly “what’s wrong, what happened?”
“I need to talk to you and Rhys” I said trying to control my breathing. I didn’t want my emotions to bleed through the bond.
“Okay” she said wrapping her arms around me as she led me to their office.
She sat me in a chair and I immediately put my head between my knees, letting the tears fall as I processed what I heard. I vaguely heard Rhysand enter the office, closing the door behind him he made his way over to me, kneeling down to my level as he spoke gently “What’s going on y/n?”
“It-its Azriel” I choked out
“Hey hey hey. Its alright” the high lord said “take a deep breath and tell me what happened”
I followed his instructions, breathing deeply
“Last night- last night did you send him on an overnight mission?” I asked
“No” Rhys responded “we had a brief meeting and he left around six”
I buried my face in my hands, nodding my head as he confirmed what I knew to be true.
He lied.
“Sweetie what is going on?” Feyre asked looking between her mate and I trying to make sense of my state.
“I planned this big dinner for him last night be-because I-” I couldn’t say it “and he never came ho-home and this morning he told me th-that he was on a mission but I just heard him w-with E-Elain.”
Rhysand seemed to seethe with quiet rage.
Feyre seemed more concerned for me “What was so important about last night?” she asked trying to gather more context on the situation. I lowered my shield allowing them to scent me, to know the secret I was carrying.
“Oh y/n” she said pulling my into an embrace as she soothed my hair form my face “does he know?” she whispered against me.
I shook my head no. “I w-was going to tell him last night”
I sobbed harder recalling our time earlier how he could have held me knowing he lied, how easily he told me he loved me.
Feyre rubbed my back trying to soothe me, to get me to calm down.
“I have to get out of here” I said “please get me away from here.”
Feyre looked at Rhys, no doubt communicating without words.
“Where do you want to go” Rhys asked
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Azriel wandered the rooms of the River House. He hadn’t seen you in a while and was somewhat curious about where you were.
He walked into the kitchen to find Rhys and Feyre engaged in a heated conversation of angry whispers.
“Hey have either of you seen y/n?” he asked
Feyre looked to Rhys her eyes wide. She obviously knew something Azriel didn’t
“What’s going on?” Azriel asked
“Before I tell you. you need to know that we had no choice” Rhys said sternly tapping into his powers for authority in this situation.
Azriel immediately became panicked, he reached inside his chest for the bond, that tether that attached you together and he pulled needing your comfort right now, but there was nothing but silence, the bond was- was cold.
“What the fuck is going on” Azriel demanded
“Y/n asked for our help” Rhys said calmly “She knows you lied about where you were last night and she overheard a conversation you were having with Elain earlier and she was freaking out…Azriel I have never seen her so distraught this- whatever it is you did- its destroying her”
“What did you do” Azriel growled at Rhys his wings flaring behind him
“You didn’t see her Az” Feyre interrupted “She begged us for help…to-to get her away”
“No.” Azriel protested “Rhys come on no you didn’t.”
“She’s-” Rhys began before Feyre shook her head speaking in his mind no doubt.
“She’s what?!” Azriel yelled “tell me where my mate is” he demanded
“She’s- gone” Rhys said “She’s under our protection until she says otherwise and you won’t be able to find her until she wills it”
Azriel screamed, it was a bloodcurdling painful sound.
He ran outside winnowing to your apartment with tears falling down his face. He couldn’t believe this.
“Y/N” he called frantically as he ran through the rooms looking for any sign of you
“no no no no no” he chanted as he ran to your bedroom throwing open the drawers to find them empty. Still not believing it he ran into your closet and found your side empty only a few hangars remained. You were gone.
As his grief overtook him he noticed a folded piece of paper on the bed.
His hands shook as he opened it revealing your delicate script.
Azriel, I never thought I could love someone so deeply, so completely, until I met you. I used to hear stories as a child about mating bonds about how rare it was to find someone who was your perfect equal in every way and when we felt it, the bond - you remember- it was like magic. I’m sure you are feeling very confused, blindsided, betrayed, and probably angry and I am sorry for that. but then again, I never thought you would hurt me. I never thought you would lie to me. I never thought you would spend a night with another woman while I was at home waiting for you. I am in so much pain right now that I actually dream of a time in the future when this won’t hurt so much. I hope that time and distance will help heal this wound, will help heal us. I love you Az, and I will continue to love you even though it’s tearing me apart. But I am putting my love for you aside because I won’t raise my child in this environment. Please forgive me.
Your child.
The words stabbed into him like a knife, and he read it again. He had to be sure he read the words correctly.
Your child.
You were pregnant?
He collapsed on the floor his wings sagging behind him as he sobbed.
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Tune in tomorrow for Day Six ❤️
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Sweet promises~
A/N: I was listening to chase atlantic so this is for my Tokrev girlies buckle up for some angst that even had me in tears while writing this, sorry if it seems a little rushed this fic was a "there but it'll be gone before you write it" kinda thought but enjoy lovelies <3
Characters: Mikey x Fem!reader and mentions of other characters, if this one does well I'll consider making one for my sweet Izana ;3
Scenario: you went with Mikey to one of his meetings with Toman only for them to be ambushed and you to be stupid enough to take a bullet for Him <3
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Toman!MIKEY: "I'd do it all again knowing I'd end up here, with you."
You should have listened. you knew deep in your gut something was wrong and yet, you still went anyways because you wanted to spend more time with Mikey. Even Mikey said to stay back because this was one of Toman's emergency meetings and they were dealing with serious matters. But no, being as stubborn as you were you insisted demanded you go, now here you were laid on the cold hard cement as red liquid oozed from your non-breathing chest. It all happened so fast, one moment everything was fine, the next Toman members were fighting left and right against what seemed to be adult gang members, probably Yakuza, and Mikey was shielding you fighting off anyone who came his was before you saw from behind his shoulder one of the Yakuza men stand a little to close to the steps pull something from his jacket, it was silver and gleemed in the moonlight, you knew exactly what it was and your instincts betrayed your logic, before you knew it you were right infront of Mikey shielding him from the fate that was now yours, the sound of a deafening gunshot rang out throughout the shrine and everything went dead silent. You closed your eyes awaiting the arrival of the bullet before a agonizing pain hit your chest close to your heart, the impact of the bullet sent you flying to the cold ground beneath you, a shocked and screaming Mikey quickly falling to his knees to catch your head before it hit the ground. "Y/N! no no... Y/N please stay with me!" he yelled keeping your head up as you coughed deep red splattering upward from your lips the pain was unbearable but you were too focused on the panicking and yelling Mikey above you, your vision going in and out the ringing in your ears never subsiding. "M...Mikey-" you sputter coughing as more blood painted your paling lips tears trickling down the sides of your face, "Y/N I'm right here its okay..." he says softly as his shaky hand reaches over to the bullet wound that now decorated your delicate chest. "Your gonna be fine..I promise please-" he said in a wavering voice as he applied pressure to the wound trying to get the bleeding to stop as thick tears ran down his face, the fight was still ongoing in the background but Takemitchi, Draken, and Mitsuya stood around you and Mikey watching in shock as your face gets paler by the second. Mikey mumbling over and over again "your going to be okay". before your hand that was stained red shakily and weakly grabbed his hand that was on your chest he looked at you with wide eyes, those eyes you fell in love with long ago but it felt like yesterday, his blonde hair flowing through the cold breeze and you remember how good it felt to run your fingers through his blonde locks. "I love you..." you mutter and he violently shakes his head "No! don't say that! your going to make it I promise,-" he choked out a sob "I promised to protect you" he managed to say through tears determination and sadness lacing his raven eyes, as you weakly shook your head feeling the life draining from your own body, "NO! WHY DID YOU TAKE THE BULLET!?" he shouted a mix of emotions in his quavering voice. "Mikey please... don't cry..Thank you for being...with me..-" you say, your voice hoarse and thick your throat burned as you mustered up one last bright smile that Mikey burned into his brain, and your vision blurred before everything went dark the last breath leaving your lungs as you went limp your weak grip on his hand slacked and he panicked even more shaking you slightly "Y-Y/N?..Y/N! please don't go- no no no- please...I need you-" he sobbed holding your cold body close as he pleaded and begged to your lifeless form he pulled back and cupped your pale cheeks staining them red with your blood as he tried to keep hope that you weren't gone. Draken and Takemitchi tried to calm him saying it was going to be fine, but it wasn't, his world had died inside of his arms and he was spiraling with anger, denial, and pain that the one thing he treasured more than anything in this world, Was now gone forever.
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Did it hurt to read this? good. that was the goal but I hope you enjoyed it reblogs/repost are welcome just credit me!
tags: @z3r0aqxa @nakukuu
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acourtofladydeath · 23 days
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Poly+ ACOTAR Week Day 1: Beginnings
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All his life Nyx has been raised by his parents, Rhysand and Feyre, and their mate Tamlin. One day he decides to ask him mom how their bonds snapped and she is more than happy to oblige.
Inspired by the storytelling in "The Princess Bride" and "How I Met Your Mother" this is angsty, fluffy fun.
So excited to kick off the first day of @polyacotarweek with one of my favorite trios, Feytamsand. Start reading below, or read the entire fic on AO3 here!
“Mom!” I shouted through the hall of the River House. It was her day off, which probably meant she was painting. The River House had a state of the art studio for her to work in, but she typically painted wherever inspiration struck. Which means she could be anywhere. 
The house was entirely too large. Something I loved growing up when I wanted to hide, but hated when I needed to find them. Sure, we could mind speak, but once I walked in on my parents having daemati sex, something I literally didn't know existed before then. After that, I refused to communicate that way unless there was an emergency. 
“In here Nyxie!” She called back from the library at the end of the hall. It had a huge window overlooking the Sidra and sunset. Throughout the day light cast through the window, ricocheting through the room. As it traveled it glanced across the wide array of books, some gilded and some plain, painting the floor in its own way. With the kaleidoscope of colors and dancing light, it was one of mom’s favorite spots to paint. Aunt Nes spent most of her time here when she visited, but today it was just mom. 
“What’s up, baby?” Mom said as I walked in. Covered head to toe in paint, she turned to look at me and wiped even more on her apron and one of her mate’s old shirts. Now which one, I wasn’t quite sure. But judging by those giant, billowy sleeves and the gauzy white linen fabric I had a pretty good guess. 
“I’m not a baby anymore,” I scoffed from the doorway. There was no way I’d get any closer to her like this. Last time she hugged me while painting it took three baths to get it all off and my clothes had to be burned. 
“Nyx you are thirteen, you are definitely still my baby. Even a hundred years from now you’ll still be my baby. I’m your mother, that’s how it goes.” She smiled softly at me then, one of those smiles that told me she was thinking about the past and the future all at once. They were my favorites. 
“What did you need? Or did you just want to watch me paint?” My mom asked, slight worry in her eyes. I’d never been great at schooling my expressions like dad was, mom and I had that in common. We both wore our emotions on our sleeves for all to see. 
I sighed, settling in to ask the question that had been gnawing at me for some time now. “One of the kids at school said something today that bothered me,” I rubbed at the muscles in the back of my neck with one hand, my gaze cast down on the floor as I tried to find the right words. 
It took me several long breaths, but mom waited patiently even as I felt her own anxiety build. “They said…” I let out a long sigh, there really was no good way to say this. “They said it’s not fair that I have two High Lords for parents, or for you to have two mates. And it’s not the first time, either.” 
Mom wrung her apron uneasily between her paint streaked hands, her art now completely forgotten as she focused on me. “I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this love. We knew people might say things like this, Nyx. I wish I had better answers for you, but the Mother gave your fathers and I each two mates.” She looked up at me with apology in her eyes, something I never intended and didn’t need to hear from her again. “I never wanted it to affect you negatively though.” 
“I know mom, and I know we’ve talked it to death.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “It’s just still a lot, you know?” A thought struck me then. I knew my parents were all mates, I knew they’d met around the time of Amarantha’s reign under the mountain. We’d had a lot of conversations that time so I wasn’t caught off guard if other kids or parents mentioned it, but still…
“How’d you all find out anyway?” 
Mom cocked her head slightly to the side, her brow furrowed just a bit. “What do you mean?”
“How’d you find out you’re all mates? I mean, we’ve talked about the mountain and how you met them, but I’ve never really heard the full story of how your bonds snapped.” 
A secretive smile slid across her face then, and my mom straightened her head toward me. “Would you like to hear the full story? I think you’re old enough now.”
“Only if you promise to spare the gross bits…” I said, internally cringing as the unbidden image of mentally walking in on them flashed through my mind again. Fighting back a shudder at the memory I continued,  "But I am pretty curious.” I smiled slightly, and her own brightened wide enough to light the whole room. 
“Are you too old to sit on mom’s lap for story time? I can change out of my paint clothes first, I know you’ve taken after your dad with how much you care for your clothes.” she asks, humor alight in her words. 
I feel the heat of a blush on my cheeks as I answer. “Definitely too old for sitting on your lap…but maybe not for the couch…” She knew what I meant. When I had bad dreams or hard days at school, sometimes I’d lay on the couch, head in her lap. It felt too juvenile to use the word ‘cuddles’ but I guess that’s what it was. A kid’s allowed to cuddle his mom right? 
A few minutes later, mom was back wearing leggings and one of her favorite sweaters. She sat on the couch next to the big window in the library and patted the seat next to her, warmth filling the space between us. I pushed off the wall from where I stood and went to join her. As I settled in, she began her story. “Alright Nyx, let’s start from the beginning. Here’s the story of how I met your fathers.” 
Continue reading at the first cut on AO3.
Please let me know if you would like off or on my taglist!: @pippsmcgee @born-to-riot @chunkypossum @bubybubsters @queercontrarian @yanny-77 @fieldofdaisiies @iftheshoef1tz @secret-third-thing
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Azriel with Nyx will be my downfall.
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Yes, i'm still on 0 motivation.
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