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#something about trying to be comforted but everything is awful and uneasy and no matter how hard you try you just. can’t.
froggymarsh · 2 months
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hello scu enjoyers here's a little r!charlie with cg!schlatt yesyes. it is set in a zombie apocalypse so trigger warning for non-graphic mentions of zombies and also a gun! i dont describe any blood or gore or anything dwdw - also maybe slight unreality for the line "was any of that real?" near the end
hope u enjoy <3
//
“Oh, hey Charlie.”
Charlie’s head snaps up, meeting the eyes of a charming man standing behind the pristine counter of a little hole-in-the-wall bar that Charlie has never seen here before. His buttoned shirt is crisp, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he polishes a glass with a red rag. His apron is black and stainless. His hair is curled, his beard is groomed and well kept. His eyes are brown, and he smiles at Charlie as if nothing is wrong with the world.
“H-hey,” Charlie stammers. He looks up at the walls, the iron bars lining the entrance. He doesn’t remember walking inside, but here he is. The floor is strangely even, no plants, no rocks, no cracks. The groans of the infected outside seem so far away. “Hey- how do you know my name?”
The man’s smile does not change. His eyes flicker from brown to gold and back again. Charlie glances around the room. The light of the torches set in the walls is not comforting in the slightest.
“So,” the man sets the glass aside, slings the rag over one shoulder, and braces both arms on the counter. “Milk or juice?”
“What?”
“You look like you could use it,” he answers, simple as that. His fingers tap along the countertop. “Milk or juice?”
“What is going on, dude, how do y-”
“Milk,” he interrupts, eyes flickering again. Charlie shuts his mouth as the man’s expression changes just so, like a mountain challenging a pebble to a battle of might, or a sun backhanding a star out of the sky.
Then the man smiles again, simple as that. “Or juice?”
Charlie grips the straps of his backpack, a pebble, a pebble, a pebble. The groans of the infected feel like a hazy memory. He takes a step towards the counter, strangely uneven on the even ground.
“Juice, please,” he murmurs, taking a seat on one of the stools. It’s plush, comfortable, with a bar at the bottom for his feet. He swings them instead.
“Good choice,” the man praises, "now,” he laughs, “maybe this one’ll getcha. Bottle or cup?”
Charlie blinks. The mountain looms on the other side of the counter, with an amused smile on its face.
“Cup,” he answers, softer than he means to, but he can’t help it when he feels like a pebble, maybe all of four years old. The room gets hazy at the edges of his vision.
“Now, now, Charlie,” the man scolds lightly, almost teasing, almost stern, amused all around, “I think we both know the correct answer here.”
Charlie frowns, eyebrows furrowing. Was that not it?
“Cup, please,” he tries again.
The man tsks. “Charlie…”
He says nothing.
The man sighs.
“Tell you what, kiddo,” he leans over, sliding the glass easily off the counter and stowing it away underneath. He fishes around for something else, his smile still charming, his expression warm but oddly intense. “We’ll compromise.”
He returns with a dark green sippy cup with a light green lid. Two and a half hearts decorate the side, glaring up at Charlie. He looks away as the man retrieves another bottle from somewhere else. This one has a golden apple printed on the side.
“‘fraid apple juice is all we’ve got.”
Charlie shrugs. Apple’s fine.
The man smiles as he pours it, screwing on the cap and sliding it to him when it’s full. “Knew you’d be a good sport about that.”
Charlie wraps his hands around the sippy cup. It’s the perfect size to hold like this. His shoulders sag in relief, oddly comforted by this little bit of plastic.
“You’re doing so well,” the man praises. Charlie can’t help but preen at that a bit, turning the cup in his hands but not yet taking a drink. “I’ll step in as needed, but it’s quite honestly remarkable just how far you’ve come.”
Charlie tries to smile at him, tries to show he’s grateful.
The man chuckles, reaching over the counter to ruffle his hair. Charlie ducks away, swatting at his hand.
“Alright, well. You better scram, kid,” he reaches under the counter again, this time producing a gun. Charlie blinks. The haze in his head fades as he whirls around, spots five infected approaching. How did he not notice them getting so close?
“I’ll hold them off,” the man’s voice raises dangerously as he storms out of the bar with his gun, seizing Charlie’s collar and dragging him out with him, abandoning the bottle on the counter. He shoves him one way and fires the gun in the other, “go, kid. Go!”
Charlie stumbles, unsteady, but runs. He runs, ducking between infected and swerving around buildings and runs, fast as he can manage as they follow, running, groaning behind him, and he runs, and his foot catches a stone and he falls and he rolls and he-
//
When he comes to, the sun is rising.
He jolts upright in bed. He’s home. He’s safe.
His jacket is pristine. There’s new patches on the elbows. There are no scuffs on his armor. His legs are fine, his heart is beating regularly, nothing is sore.
Cradled in his hand is a green sippy cup, decorated with two and a half hearts on the side that glare up at him.
He swallows.
Was any of that real?
He turns it over. There’s nothing inside, though taped to the bottom is a messy, scrawled note.
Keep it, it reads. Signed with a simple, -J
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onmyyan · 7 months
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Kiss the goat
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A/N: Horror isekai? Horror isekai, here's part one of the Scream chapters, unedited, hope you like cuz it was so much fun writing
Pairing: Yandere Poly Ghostface x reader
It was such an odd sensation, you don't think you'd ever truly get used to it, no matter how many times it washed over you.
It was always the same, tranquil lull, and it always started in your lower tummy, like this wave of ice cold water suddenly replaced all the blood in your veins.
Whenever you first 'woke up' somewhere new, that damn feeling was always the first thing you noticed, and the only warning you'd get.
This time though, something was different. There was this mix of fear, confusion, and awe tossed in with the lull because you clocked your location immediately.
Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum
For a moment all you could hear was the the blood pounding in your eardrums, slowly , as you forced yourself to breathe, the surrounding noises faded in, at first it was just the chatter of a busy school, then you noticed the shuffle of feet dragging on concrete, with your heart pounding furiously against your rib cage, you pinched your thigh through your baggy blue jeans and began walking, focusing on forcing your feet to move, rather than the millions of other thoughts buzzing through your skull. Why? Well because there you stood, dropped right before the soon-to-be infamous Woodsboro High.
As you walked amongst the crowd of people there were a few things you noticed immediately about yourself, at least this version of yourself, which seemed to change with every new plot you were forcibly thrown in.
The jeans you wore were loose fitting and well loved, small holes in the denim here and there  gave you a typical 90's degenerate vibe, the soft cotton of the band T-shirt you were in felt comfortable against your skin, around your waist hung a oversized burgundy flannel with accents of mustard yellow, the fabric looked old and smelled of weed, a sigh rolled through your chest at the familiar smell, it was a bittersweet reminder of your life before this insanity began.
Glancing down at your outfit made you breath out a sigh of relief, at least you dressed better in this one. In the small shirt pocket, you felt a book of matches, the scratchy texture of telling you what it was without needing to pull it out, good to know.
Shaking your head you try your best to look as bored and uninteresting as possible, you've found these things were best tackled from a stealthy perspective. As you finally enter the school, the second you step through the open doors, there's this intense, hair-raising feeling that washes over you, everything in your gut is saying run away, turn around, but you don't.
Instead, you swallow the fight-or-flight instincts and continue your pace as if you hadn't noticed the predatory stare on you. It didn't surprise you, after all, the self-proclaimed directors of this twisted movie were bound to notice a new player being introduced so suddenly, you just hadn't yet gotten used to the uneasy feeling of being in the presence of a murderer.
Or in this movies case, murderers.
The stares you received from the rest of the student body helped to distract you from the heavy stares burning into you, as you leisurely walked down the halls people either mean-mugged you or ignored you, it helped to get a better feel for the role you'd been assigned, depending on how well you played said role was going to determine whether or not you ended up on the kill count.
For now, you kept it pushing, your hands resting comfortably in the pockets of your jeans, your right hand, which you only now noticed was covered in rings, brushed against the cool touch of something small and metal, you quickly pulled out the object to reveal a switchblade, the handle a glossy white with a simple heart scratched into the surface, quickly you tucked it back where you'd found it.
The grin that had stretched across your face as you traversed the halls was downright wicked, in your mini search you'd also come across a crinkled class schedule and a pack of gum. Curious (e/c) eyes diligently scanned the face of every student that passed, searching for any clue as to when exactly you'd popped in, having a clear timeline in mind made these things run so much smoother.
Casey Beckem gave you that answer in the form of a cliché shoulder check as she rounded the corner. She made a point to dust off the area that had touched you, and her scoff of 'Watch it freak.' made a snort leave your nose, god you loved the 90s, even the bullying was better.
Considering she was still amongst the living, you gathered this was before the start of the movie, fantastic. You pushed forward, far too wrapped up in your building excitement to pay any mind to the very dangerous man you'd caught the sight of.
You found your first class a few minutes early, thankfully the school's layout wasn't too hard to navigate, you were intent on taking proper inventory and prepping as well as you could. The teacher took you in with a surprised noise, clearly judging your character on your appearance.
You'd gotten pretty good at handling your, particular situation, so good in fact you'd begun to relax a little. Taking a seat by the window in the back felt very final girl of you, the thought making you giggle to yourself. Whatever entity responsible for isekaing you into this movie flashed between a real asshole and a slightly smaller asshole with each reincarnation, this time it looked like they were feeling nice as you started with a weapon. 
Your inner workings were put on an abrupt pause as Randy Meeks burst in through the door earning a glare from the otherwise silent teacher. The bright-eyed male made a beeline for you, his expression was akin to a puppy who just had its bone taken away.
"What the Hell San Francisco? I spent the last 15 minutes running around like some mook looking for ya'." he paused to sit down at the desk directly on your right. "You ask a guy to show you around then ditch em'? Cruel, undeniably cruel." You learned pretty quickly to just roll with it whenever someone from Canon spoke to you.
"My bad Meeks, I'll make it up to you." At this, the energetic man rolled his eyes, now leaning even closer. "Oh yeah? Meaning what- you'll actually take me up on my offer instead of responding with that cold familiar brand of cynicism? C'mon, it'll be funnnn." He trailed off in a whine. "Whoever told you begging was an option for you lied." You laughed, shaking your head at the way he visibly deflated.
You kicked your faded black Converse all star's on the back of the seat before you, legs bouncing as you allowed yourself to ponder your answer, the nervous habit had developed sometime between this movie, and one of your earlier incarnations and subsequent deaths.
This was a little more complicated, see the omnipotent fuck who put you here liked to screw with you, very much into the concept of seeing you mix with whatever plot that laid before you, so much so that anytime you fought against whatever scenario you were thrust into in any way you died horribly. The first time you'd been plopped into a movie was the original My Bloody Valentine,- a chill ran through your body like a punch to the gut at the thought, yeah you'd come a long way since then in terms of working the system but nothing was set in stone.
You figured whatever this offer from Randy was, would no doubt tie you into the plot, knowing better than to fight the waves, you pretended to think about it before shrugging. "Sure. I'll bite." The simple statement had him shooting out of his chair to fist pump before quickly falling back in his seat.
"Yessss-okay it's super easy, I spend my time rewinding the utter garbage the general population consumes on a daily." He was practically buzzing in his seat as he spoke. "Once in a while, the boss leaves for an extra long lunch break and I get to watch whatever I want- Child's Play, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street- you name it I got it." The redhead spoke proudly, leaning back against his chair with a self-satisfied look.
"You should be a salesman Meeks." The male bristled beside you, a tinge of red on his cheeks. "Yeah yeah, whatever Frisco- don't come crying to me when you don't have anyone to sit with at lunch." He teased, leaning over his desk, you smile toying with the ring on your hand, popping your neck with a sigh you took a second before responding, "Oh god, how will I ever survive sitting alone, whatever will I do." you spoke in a dead tone making the male at your side pout.
"You're cold (L/n), couldn't even pretend to care about my threat huh?"
You looked over with a teasing grin, "Course' not- I'm not a liar Randy.", it was then and only then that you noticed the tall Blonde unashamedly staring you down from the door.
Stu Macher had made his appearance earlier than expected but you didn't sweat it, or the almost hungry look he was giving you. Nope, not sweating at all. Instead, you quickly averted your eyes, praying he hadn't caught your stare.
He had, naturally.
The taller male nearly took up the entire door frame, he looked a lot more intimidating in person. The playful look on his face was all the more haunting the more you thought about who he really was underneath it. What he was hours away from doing.
Randy, feeling the sudden rise in tension, refused to be left out, and tried to not so subtly block Stu's vision of you by standing up and not so casually sitting on his desk, his back to the future killer. "Anyway Frisco', I don't want you mixin' in with the wrong crowd okay?" He made a point to flick his eyes back towards the now pouting blonde, "Bad company makes for bad times. Just stick with me I'll show you the ropes." He made sure to mutter that last part, his expression drenched in fear for the briefest moment.
Before you could respond Stu had rather aggressively climbed his way over a few desks to plop into the seat in front of you.
His dimpled grin was rather infectious.
"Now that's no way to talk about your friends Randy." He almost seethed out his name making the shorter male curl in on himself like a rabbit, he turned to face you with flare.
"Hi, there hot stuff- Stu Macher, bad company." He took your hand in his much larger one, completely enveloping your own, the tension was broken by the comical handshake, how hard he shook it up and down dispelled all previous bad vibes, his devious little grin only grew at your response, "Hi Stu, I'm (Y/n). Worse company."
"So whatcha' running from in San Francisco? Girl's like you don't just show up outta nowhere for no reason." He didn't even try to hide the way he was checking you out, his half-lidded eyes eagerly drinking in every inch of the alluring stranger before him.
"Who says I'm running big guy? I might be the one doing the chasing." Maybe teasing a soon-to-be serial killer wasn't the smartest move, but you just couldn't help it, he leaned his head into his palm, the wide toothy grin promising nothing but trouble. "I think I like you- come sit with us at lunch."
"You askin' or telling?" You met his heated gaze with a cold indifference that only fueled the ever-growing fire burning in his belly. The larger male quickly fell to his knees from his seat on the chair, bringing his hands together in a dramatic motion, "Pretty pretty please hot new kid come sit with meee." The laugh tumbling past your lips was real, you quickly ushered him back to his seat, "As nice as ya look on your knees- this is embarrassing please get the hell up I'll sit with you."
He backed off with a victorious grin not knowing you'd just lied through your teeth, there was no way in hell you'd willingly put yourself in Billy's cross hairs, Stu was unavoidable apparently, but Billy? You'd hold out as long as you could, when lunch rolled around you managed to convince Randy to eat on the roof, and used the friendly conversation to get more information out of him.
It was during this conversation you discovered in this world, whoever you were, was Randy's new neighbor.
After the school bell had rung for the final time, you made a point to linger around Randy, usually, when you spawned in one of these things the plot was well into swing, but this time you were here early, and the change in routine felt all the more dangerous.
Thankfully, Randy came to your rescue, you tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear him say,
"-if you even want to that is- we'd mostly be watching the classics." He finished nervously glancing to and from, you managed to space back just in time to greet him with a half smile and a shrug. "Lead the way, Meeks."
"It's so cool how you live next door- when you told me at first I thought you were yankin' my chain." He said bouncing his way down the road.
Randy had stumbled home with sleep in his eye sometime around midnight, you weren't too worried for the guy as you knew they hadn't started their spree yet.
That was until the phone rang. 
For a moment all you did was stare. You knew who was on the other end it just didn't make any sense. 
Swallowing the thick ice cube of fear suddenly in your throat, you caught your breath as casually as you could.
As if on autopilot your hand scooped up the house phone, you surprised yourself with how calm your greeting was.
"Hello?.."
"Hey there sweet thing- you're up awful late aren't ya?" You tried to look as casual as you could, steadily making your way to every door, and securing each entrance, but it was hard to ignore the twinge of accusation in his tone.
"You're up too.." Was what you managed to get out, trying to keep your voice steady.
"Hm, that's fair. What were you up to? Have some fun with your boyfriend?" The last word sounded harder than the rest, with no humor in his tone, almost as if it was said through gritted teeth, like whoever spoke it spat the word out.
So he was definitely watching you, your mind racked with the best answer to keep Randy from harm's way.
"Just watching some scary movies with a friend- you like em'?" You asked leaning against the island in your kitchen. "Oh, honey- you've got no idea." Before you could respond he continued, "I will see you later gorgeous." and then he was gone
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yxami · 1 year
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Yandere gangster finding out his poor darling is being harassed at work by a jerk who’s a little too handsy-
Description: yandere gangster x reader, mentioned killing, possessiveness, yandere stuff
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“What?” His one simple word spit out venom. His tone frightened you, not for your own safety but for the man who has been bothering you recently.
You mistakenly told Eamon about him, slipping out that a coworker of yours has been a little too close recently. He was a person you chatted with from time to time but lately he’s been sneaking brushes against your leg, taking peeks at you, and being so insistent to take you out even if you say you have something going on.
“But it’s okay! I’ll just ask to be moved and he won’t bother me anymore!” You assured him by holding his hand, trying to comfort him into believing in you to handle the situation.
But he knew that! He knew you could handle the situation but that didn’t comfort him that you would still see that creep where he could still bug you. That’s why he decided to take matters into his own hands. Afterwards, he would have to ask for your forgiveness but it was necessary to keep you safe.
He flicked the cigarette he had just finished onto the floor, smushing it under his foot to properly extinguish it. He blew out a dark gray smoke as he scanned the office you worked in.
He knew what time you’d go out for lunch, he would just have to find out whenever that fucker would leave the office. He knew that he was bound to run out of the office one of these days, no matter the reason, it would be the cause of his death.
You stretched yawning, leaning over on your chair to crack your back. You saved the draft you had written up and closed the tab. Lunch was ready and you were extremely hungry for what you packed yourself.
“Hey cutie, wanna come with me to go eat at the cafe across the street?” Your coworker uncomfortably wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close.
“Um, no thank you! I packed myself some lunch and I wouldn’t want it to go to waste” You smiled as nicely as you could, even though his touch was cold and sent shivers down your back. Everything about the guy was so creepy, especially how much of his touches he tried sneaking by as friendly.
Eamon watched from the street, feeling more livid than before. He wants to barge in there and shoot him already, but he can’t. He can’t because you’ll see and everyone else will. The grip on his well hidden gun only tightened seeing the way you looked.
He felt angry for not noticing it sooner, he never thought he would have to worry about a guy in your workplace. Stupid mistake but he’d never do it again, now he’d make sure to protect and watch over you more often.
“Awe, next time then?”
“Mhm!” You were able to slip out of his grasp, making your way to the break-room. You thanked whatever saved you from him, he always made you uneasy, there was something eerie about him like he wasn’t just a normal co-worker who didn’t know boundaries.
“What a tease” He watched you walk away, grumbling to himself about how hot you looked. He collected his coat, putting it on to face the cold weather outside. He was still gonna go to the cafe, even if you weren’t coming. Maybe next time you’ll be convinced.
He left the office, crossing the street only to be followed by a figure hidden in the shadows. He had no clue that he was in danger until he was pulled into a dark alleyway, by a large dumpster that hid the two of them from the public walking past.
“Wha- what the fuck?!” He yelled before something metallic was shoved into his mouth. A silencer that could only be described as quiet death was sitting on top of his tongue. He was tasting what would eventually end him. He made muffled cries, tears streaming down his face now realizing that he was in danger.
“Do you like being a creep? Do you go around bothering people everyday?” Eamon’s husky voice only sent more pangs of fear into his victims heart. His body was filled with adrenaline yet he was sat down next to garbage bags, not being able to move.
“Men like you are disgusting wastes of space that should cease to live. Didn’t your mother ever teach any manners?” He cocked his gun, it made a quiet clicking sound to signal it was ready. “Or did you think it was okay to do that?”
Your coworker quickly shook his head, making muffled attempts at saying no. He didn’t know why he was in this situation or how. He just wanted to live, he didn’t want to die!
“Really?” He titled his head, questioning the man with a simple word.
“Mhm!” More hot tears of panic ran down his cheek, unable to say anything other then a noise of approval.
A silent pang was heard only to the ears of the two of them. If he even managed to process the bullet that went through his head. Eamon pulled a cloth out of his pocket, wiping the pistol that was covered with blood and disgusting saliva.
“Fucking idiot” He simply said before hiding his gun in its rightful place.
He went to his house to go and get cleaned up. He had made sure to not leave any evidence before he left. It was pretty simple to do when he did this every week for some cash.
He texted you, wondering when you would get out. He was happy to know that it was soon and he would be able to come over like usual.
When he arrived at your apartment you welcomed him in, telling him to go sit down while you started some tea. You had the TV playing the latest news, but nothing interesting came up so far.
“So how was work? Busy as always?” Eamon smiled, seeing how happy you were that he was here. You always managed to make him crack a smile no matter what mood he was in.
“Mhm! But I finished my work early! I didn’t get distracted by my coworkers” You grinned, hugging him. You were glad he was visiting you often. Even if you weren’t sure what the two of you were, it was nice to have him around.
You wondered if he was still mad about the guy you spoke about. You decided on not asking him just in case he was over it.
“I think the teas ready! I’ll be back” You got up, making your way to the kitchen. You grabbed the tea set you had and placed it down, carefully pouring the tea.
Eamon glanced at the TV as it loudly blared about a dead body found in an alleyway between a popular cafe and a hair salon. Both locations were named while the reporter on the screen started to reveal the victim.
“We have news coming in that the body was identified as 23 year old Si—“ A click was heard as he turned the channel off, seemingly bored of what the TV had to say.
“What happened? Someone died?” You brought in the tea and sat down next to him to notice it was turned off. You looked at him expecting an answer.
“Nobody important, just another homeless guy drinking himself to death” He brushed off the topic with a wave of his hand. “What tea did you make this time?”
“I made green tea! Here try” You picked up the tea cup and gave it to him. He drank a bit, enjoying the hot fresh taste to it.
“Tastes good! You’re getting better” He complimented, praising you even more by patting your head. You happily leaned into his touch and thanked him.
He hoped you wouldn’t get too mad when you found out the news. For now, he’d just enjoy your blissful company before you’d scold and pout at him. Who knows, maybe you’ll get used to his killings someday.
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tinytinyblogs · 8 months
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Jeongin In Love With You
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Love
(n.) Giving the last piece of pizza no matter how much you want it.
Stray kids masterlist here
Jeongin was curious about falling in love. He had listened to his friends' stories about their relationships, and they all seemed so cute and sweet. He had also watched many dramas about love, and they all made it look so amazing. Jeongin wanted to know what it was like to be in love. He wanted to feel the butterflies in his stomach and the excitement of knowing that he was special to someone. He wanted to be able to share his life with someone and build a future together.
He found it difficult to connect with people, especially because he was so clumsy and he forgot everything easily. He feels so awkward in public that he always puts on a face that makes people think he doesn't want to talk to them. This makes it difficult for him to get close to others. People were not always welcoming to him, and it made him a little bit sad.
Today was another day he was supposed to meet someone, but he overslept. He was late, and the person he was supposed to meet had already walked away. He stood there, his eyes glued to the ground, as the rain started to fall. He didn't even bring an umbrella, and he absolutely hated this day so much. He wondered if it was really so hard to find someone who would accept him and understand him.
He let the rain soak him a little bit at a time, until he couldn't feel the rain anymore. He looked up and saw you standing there with an umbrella. "You shouldn't be standing here and let the rain get you wet," you said. "You'll get sick tomorrow." Jeongin chose to stay silent, listening to your nagging. He thought you looked cute in that oversized hoodie, and somehow, he felt glad that someone cared about him, even though he didn't know you. You pulled him closer to make sure he didn't get wet.
"Where do you want to go?" Jeongin woke up from his daydream, admiring you as you asked him. "Home," you hummed, looking at the rain, which had gotten heavier. "I would love to help you out, but I need my umbrella to stay dry myself." you said, pointing to the restaurant across the street with your finger. Jeongin tracked your finger with his eyes, eager to see what you were pointing at. "But I think we could go there and get something to eat until the rain stops."
Jeongin didn't give you a response. "I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. I'm just trying to be friendly." you said to him, he didn't respond, which made you feel uneasy. You wondered if he thought you were weird, but you knew that he actually liked talking to you and listening to your voice. You didn't want to make the situation any more awkward, so you pushed your umbrella into his hand even though you had already said you didn't want to lend it to him. You didn't want him to get soaked but he held your hand that was gripping the umbrella. "Let's go there. I want to eat too."
Jeongin found you different from the other people he had met. You treated him with kindness and understanding, He had never met anyone like you before, and he found himself drawn to you. He felt comfortable around you, and he could be himself. He was clumsy enough to almost drop everything, but you just laughed it off and called him cute. He found his heartbeat going crazy, and he wondered if this was what love felt like.
You spent your time with him, and he was really fun to be with. You talked to him like you had known him for a while. He told you that he was supposed to be on a blind date, but he overslept. You laughed because it was silly, and he loved your laugh. The rain had stopped, and you didn't even notice at first. It was time to go, and you were both standing in front of the restaurant. "Thanks for the company," you said as you turned to face him. "Eating alone in a restaurant is awful."
He nodded his head slowly, admitting to himself that you made him feel comfortable. This was the first time he had felt so connected with a random person, even though it wasn't a date. "Can I meet you again?" he asked. "It was really fun to talk to you." You smiled slightly, knowing that you weren't the only one who wanted to keep this unexpected friendship, Who knows what the future holds for the two of you? Perhaps your relationship will blossom into something more than friendship. "I'd like that," you said. "We can exchange numbers."
As you both said goodbye and walked away, Jeongin put a smile on his face. Today was not as bad as he thought. He had finally met someone who made him feel comfortable and excited. He could feel his heartbeat racing while he talked to you, and he couldn't wait to see what would happen between the two of you. He had never felt this way about anyone before, and he knew that he was falling in love. He knew that love at first sight was a real thing, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world.
He couldn't wait to see you again, and he knew that he would never forget this day.
Note: I've finished writing the SKZ in Love With You series, and I'm not sure what to write next.I know my story is not very good, but I appreciate you taking the time to read it anyway. I'm grateful to everyone who has liked or reblogged my posts, it means a lot to me and keeps me motivated to write more.
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‘If you had to be any supernatural creature,’ Farid asked, causing me to groan into my drink, ‘what’d you be?’ For some reason the idea of magic was one he had to bring up at every opportunity. We could be sat in a lecture and he’d lean across to pose a new theory to whoever was with him at that precise moment. To be honest, I think it extended way beyond our little group as well, but I have no idea.
Around the table, the others made various sounds of mock irritation and genuine thought. It didn’t matter how many times we heard this, they always had a new view on things.
‘Vamp for sure,’ Neil said with conviction. ‘Forever young; killer looks – ’
‘Aversion to garlic and sunlight?’ Sue asked, carefully putting her newly drained glass on the table.
Some of Neil’s bravado dissipated, and I patted him consolably on the shoulder.
‘Allie couldn’t be a werewolf,’ Harley said, a smirk on his lips as he leaned conspiratorially towards Farid. ‘We’d all be dead within a day with double time of the month.’
Farid scoffed, and even Neil managed a smirk as I swore at the youngest of our little group.
‘You’ll be a ghost if you’re not careful, Harley,’ I assured him with an innocent smile.
‘What about you though?’ Farid directed the question my way. Usually, I found a way of worming out of answering. Knowing Creatures, I was more than content being human. Too many restrictions kind of sucked the fun out of it all, and everything they were currently talking about being arguments for or against the cases were wrong in at least some way.
‘Doesn’t matter,’ Sue said, waving my reply away absently. Her attention was over my shoulder, tracking the progress of someone through the canteen. ‘Hot young man alert.’
I rolled my eyes as Neil groaned. Harley shifted, trying to get a good look for himself. Farid turned his attention back to the research book he’d been slogging through when we arrived. There was no point trying to continue. We’d lost the others completely.
‘Miss… March?’
Shit. I cringed ever so slightly at the familiar voice; at the fact Sue’s mouth dropped open and Harley shot me an openly hostile look. He was already accusing me of hiding this, and he didn’t even know what this was.
Slowly, I turned to face Marcus. There was a bright smile on his face, a hint of amusement behind his eyes. However he’d found out my alternative name, he was finding my confusion way too entertaining for my liking.
‘Dr Whitmore,’ said Neil, awe touching his voice, ‘you know Allie?’
‘Neil, how many times?’ Marcus jokingly chastised. He shook his head before looking back to me. ‘May I have a word, please?’
Every instinct Sooty had instilled in me screamed to deny him. Terrible things could happen to warmbloods when vampires were around. And yet…
‘Sure,’ I said, slipping off my seat. Confidently, I left all my things where they were.
Marcus nodded ever so slightly, obviously agreeing to my silent terms. He motioned me to go first.
I surveyed him for a moment before walking away from the others. The familiar weight of my knife in the sleeve of my jacket was a veritable comfort. If he tried anything it might do very little, but it was the only thing I had. The only vague surprise.
As soon as we were outside I gathered my jacket a little tighter. Something pulled at Marcus’s lips, but he didn’t comment.
‘Doctor?’ I asked, eager to break the uneasy silence.
He scoffed, sounding more like the twenty-year old he resembled than the however-old vampire he was. ‘I’ve had more than enough time to earn that.’
‘What do you want?’ I asked, deciding to cut straight to the point.
Suddenly, he looked serious. ‘I think we might need your help.’
With a sigh, I ran a hand over my face. Today was going to be a lot longer than I’d anticipated.
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cinnamon-phrog · 2 years
Text
It’s always been me pining for somebody else, never somebody else pining for me.
But, as of late, the tables have turned, and I just don’t know how to feel about this.
My friend, the one who called me lovely, is still flirting with me and being overly… physical, with me, more than I would like, (which is none at all, or an affectionate head-butt or arm punch lol.) and no matter how much I tell her I am not interested, the more she doesn’t listen, and the more she lusts for me, and the more uncomfortable I get.
It’s strange.
Not too long ago I was begging the world for somebody to love me the way I’ve loved in the past.
I guess I should’ve been more specific, because the way I love is always unrequited on the side of my desired person. Only this time, I’m the desired person.
She’s cool, I like her a lot, but not in that way. She’s my friend. I like to think of my school friends as siblings. And I could never love a sibling that way. This ain’t Alabama.
Also… I don’t really like the way she touches me. it’s not inherently sexual, but I can tell by her face that it might as well be.
I’ve asked her to stop appearing behind me and try to hold my hand, to stop going right up in my face, but she’s just not getting it.
I don’t just want somebody to love me, I want somebody who I can love back.
And I just don’t love her back.
I feel awful for not doing so, I wish I did, honestly, but I don’t.
I know what it’s like, to have your heart broken. I don’t want her to go through that, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.
But I cannot force myself to love her. I want to be true to myself. I can’t pretend to love her because that would be worse than just repeatedly having to reject her. It’d give her hope. She’d believe me, and when the jig is eventually up she’d be even more heartbroken than if I just kept rejecting her.
The most unexpected thing about this is why somebody would even want me in such a way to begin with.
I just don’t see my own appeal. I am by no means attractive by society’s standards, something I am told day in day out by everyone I know.
To the point where I believe love is just. Never gonna happen to me. no one will love me for real, I should just stick to crushing on fictional people, since the real ones break my heart all too often.
If I ever find somebody who I love, and who loves me back, maybe then I'd understand my own appeal. Maybe.
In the meantime, I'm just bewildered. As I've said, nobody's ever crushed on me before, that I know of, anyway. How do I tell her I'm not interested more... sternly without upsetting her?
I don't want to upset her but she's making me incredibly uncomfortable.
I just want somebody to love me the way I've loved others, but not unrequited.
Not all handsy and 'darling'-y (she called me DARLING today-) and making me feel uneasy, but someone to comfort me the way I've comforted others. Who can see inside my soul without being repulsed, but actually finds my flaws attractive, and I can see theirs and love them for it, someone who I can trust with every fibre of my being.
Somebody I can talk to. Really talk to. Who likes me for everything I do, not just the externities.
Somebody who doesn't just see or just want the exuberent, happy school version of me.
I want somebody to love, true, but that somebody just isn’t her.
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leviiattacks · 3 years
Note
how does levi kiss like the first kiss as a couple or just random levi kissing headcanons!!
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author note :: very cute ask thank you to anon. my requests are always open and i try to get to them eventually !!! :-)) word count :: 1.6k... i have too much to say
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the first time levi kisses you all he can think about is whether or not he’s doing it right. sure, he’s had his fair share of kisses but he’s never overthought it to this extent
he’s the one to initiate it. he approaches you and gives you a warning before he does – “i want to kiss you.”
you would have thought someone like levi would be hard and rough with the way they kiss but instead he swoops in awkwardly – your noses bump against each other and he softly presses his lips against yours
he doesn’t pick a very good moment to do it. you’re covered from head to toe in sweat and are beyond surprised he’s thought you’re worthy enough to be kissed especially when in this state. you assumed he’d like it better if you were cleaner
but what you don’t know is the reason why he’s kissed you, levi knows he’s bad at expressing himself, he knows no matter how hard he tries he’s bound to be misinterpreted at some point. he just wants to make you feel loved. his usual way of doing it is by taking care of you or scolding you when you make mistakes during training
he’s been told time and time again that it doesn’t even look like the two of you are dating. it’s probably because dating levi isn’t much different from any other relationship with him, for the most part it doesn’t seem like much has changed to everyone else
so he really does want you to know that you are in fact different and special to him. he’s secretly very insecure about you leaving him. he thinks maybe if he doesn’t show how much you mean to him you’ll leave and he doesn’t want you to leave
that’s how the two of you have got here, levi’s been wondering when to do it all day and something kicks in when he sees you walk out of the stables. you still seem so upbeat despite the current climate of the world around you
no matter how dark everything’s become you’re an ever present light in levi’s life, your shine never dulls
and so he takes his opportunity not caring if your hair is disheveled or if sweat layers your forehead. he’s happy to do it no matter the circumstances.
midway through the kiss he cradles your face in his hands and you both just kinda stare at each other, it isn’t awkward the both of you are just in awe that levi’s the one to initiate the first kiss
usually when you hold hands you’re the one to place your palm into his, if you hug you’re the one who’s placed your arms around his frame. the only time levi’s ever initiated physical contact is when he’s adjusting the straps of your gear
so really for him to initiate something as huge as your first kiss together really is heartwarming
he pulls you back into the kiss by intertwining your fingers together and leaning in so he can continue again. for some reason he just gets emotional by it all. maybe it has something to do with the way the world stops when he kisses you. he’s resilient and doesn’t let any tears fall but he shakes trying to hold himself together
of course you sense the trembling when your hand begins to vibrate against his. you immediately stop not wanting to overwhelm him.
levi looks hurt by that, he thinks you might have not enjoyed it but then you wrap your arms around his neck to steady yourself and press a soft kiss against his forehead
“are you doing this to show me that you love me?” the question you murmur against his chest has him scowling but you can see the hint of a blush creep up his cheeks
“why would i do that? you should know i like you.” he nearly smacks himself across the face when he says like instead of love. he doesn’t mean it, he does love you he’s just too embarrassed to say it
he half expects you to be angry about that but you smile and he’s never felt more grateful to have you around
“i’m glad you like me, that means you care for me.” you tell him
he doesn’t know what to do, he completely malfunctions because you’re just so right for him. you’re so firm in your belief that he loves you that you don’t even need his reassurance to understand that.
“don’t you think i treat you like everyone else?” he asks, he’s been meaning to bring it up for a while now, he has no idea how to act around you
“no i love you. you bring me tea every day. you don’t do that for anyone else. i think i’m pretty special just for that!!! :-)”
at that levi kisses you again not because he wants to show you he loves you and so you don’t leave. he kisses you this time because he knows you won’t leave him and he knows you’re aware of his love for you
it’s even more soft and gentle than the first kiss you shared together just seconds earlier. you can practically feel the beating of your heart it thumps erratically and at this rate it may as well jump right out of your chest
levi’s holding up much better after hearing your soothing words. he has no doubt you love him. usually touching his hair is a no go for most people but he allows you to play around with it, you’re understandably fidgety and nervous and don’t know where to put your hands
by the time the both of you pull away panting he acts like it hasn’t happened for a few minutes. he sits there thinking woah so i finally did that ????
then he starts worrying what if you didn’t like it ??? what if you were pretending to enjoy it ??? what if he was a bad kisser ??? what if—
“you look worried.” you say looking right into his eyes, you’ve always been able to see right through him.
“am i a bad kisser?” the question leaves his mouth so quietly it’s inaudible and you have to ask him to repeat himself again
being physically intimate has always caused worries for him and he can’t help but overthink. he refuses to repeat what he’s said but you won’t let it go
“fine...” he can’t even look up at you. “i asked if i was a bad kisser. what if you like me less because...well yeah.”
god
he’s just so
endearing????
everyone assumes he’s the type to just kiss and go for it without much thought but honestly he really does think about the importance of the action for a long time
“you can kiss very well. trust me.” your fingers curl into the fabric of his button up, you can see that there’s a still a little uneasiness left in his eyes
“and anyway if you couldn’t kiss i’d just teach you how. it’s no big deal.”
his face lights up and the ghost of a smile makes itself known – “then why don’t you teach me what i don’t know?”
and then he’s back at it, once levi starts kissing you it takes a lot to stop him and you telling him that he can actually kiss pretty well has him feeling on top of the world!!!
all in all levi is a gentle kisser for the most part. it’s a popular assumption that he’s rough and powerful with it but really he enjoys savouring the moment. he doesn’t have to go hard and fast, he’d much rather spend his time with you. he finds that going slow makes it all the more meaningful :-)
a few other random yet specific headcanons i have about levi kissing !!! :
levi prefers to kiss you on the forehead or cheek compared to the lips because your reaction is always bashful and flustered, it’s nice to see that
after your first kiss he builds his confidence up, he feels comfortable kissing you anywhere even in front of others but that doesn’t mean he will. pda isn’t really his thing, sure he’ll respond if you kiss him in front of other people but he saves kisses for when you’re alone. it’s purely because he doesn’t like having others spectate.
very bad at reading hints, if you want to initiate a kiss with him you’ll just have to go for it because no matter how much you hint at it he won’t understand
“are you going to kiss me or am i going to have to lie in my journal?”
“since when have you kept a journal??”
likes to kiss you after you’ve both had your daily cup of tea, no explanation needed it’s pretty self explanatory
once he accidentally bit your tongue and he hasn’t been able to live it down ever since. whenever you bring it up he just acts like he hasn’t heard you, it’s too embarrassing to talk about again.
another time jean told him he wasn’t romantic enough and despite disliking pda levi grabbed you by the waist and dipped you out nowhere so he could kiss you. yeah,, that really did shut jean up and levi was understandably incredibly smug about it :-)
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sparklysung · 3 years
Text
✨SWALLOW YOUR WORDS – l.d.h.✨
© sparklysung – 2021. all rights reserved. no reposts, modifications and/or translations allowed.
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pairing – lee donghyuck x female!reader
genre – smut | non-idol!au, enemies to lovers!au
warnings – switch!donghyuck, switch!reader, lap dance, cumming in pants, grinding, dry humping, cum eating, hair pulling (giving and receiving), spanking, mirror sex, protected sex (reader’s on the pill), degradation, dirty talk, bondage (belt), possessiveness (i guess?)
word count – 6.043 words
summary – it only took a couple of words to make the blood boil in your veins and being the competitive individual you are, you had to prove lee donghyuck, your all-time enemy, wrong.
note – not my best, probably could've done better, but oh well. also this was frkng hard to write, damn, and i may have changed things a bit? BUT, i think it's better like this so… hope you enjoy! btw, i got the idea while reading this, so go check it out –it's good–.
taglist – @prvncejxon, @iwishihadabettername
another friday night wasting your time at some random classmate’s party. you were everything but happy to be there. you didn’t even want to go there in the first place, only finding yourself sitting on the kitchen counter, drink in hand and an ugly scowl adorning your face, because of your annoying best friend.
“hey, i get it, you didn’t wanna come here when you could have been peacefully sleeping in the comfort of your room, but come on, at least try to have some fun. you’re already here anyway.” eunbin –aka your annoying best friend– said, pouting her lips in a failed attempt of looking cute.
you kind of felt bad for her, you suppose it wasn’t exactly easy to deal with your lazy ass. but still, she was supposed to love you and appreciate you just the way you were.
and most of the time she did, just not in this specific situation.
“this isn’t fun at all, i just wanna go home. there’s nothing in here for me at all.”
you brought the red plastic cup to your lips, taking a sip of the bitter liquid eunbin had mixed for you. you weren’t lying, there really wasn’t anything that would make you want to stay, only a few friends of yours getting drunk somewhere in the big house you were currently in.
“come on, please, stay for me,” eunbin fake cried, and for a moment you thought she was going to give up and let you go. “in a bit the guys are gonna play something fun! we should join them, please?” as her last resort, she looked at you with puppy eyes. she was playing dirty and she knew it, you both knew you couldn’t resist them.
giving in with an exasperated sigh, you jumped off the counter to get yourself another drink from the bar in the living room. you were minding your own business until you heard him, the last person you wanted to see at the moment.
“so, i’m telling you guys, she was literally begging me to fuck her, she even moaned while sucking me off–,” donghyuck’s obnoxious voice filled your ears, making you roll your eyes. he was surrounded by a couple of other guys you didn’t know so well but were sure you had seen them before around campus hanging out with him.
“shut up already, dongdong, no one wants to hear it.” you interrupted, walking past him and towards the half empty bottle of vodka on the bar counter.
the group of boys stopped abruptly, all of them turning to look at you, ready for the scene that was going to take place in matter of minutes. donghyuck’s attention also turned to you, biting back a triumphant smirk with a raised eyebrow. he could see past you so he didn’t mind the mocking nickname you used; he could tell you were trying to irritate him enough to make him go away. but he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. he had been eyeing you all night, trying to find ways to get under your skin to catch your attention. and finally, after staying at a safe distance for a while to not spark suspicions, he got what he wanted.
“why so feisty, babe.” the cocky smirk he gave you just made your blood boil, the growing desire to punch it off his pretty face only getting stronger the more you stared at him.
“don’t you get tired of talking shit all day?” you barked, eyes trained on his body while pouring yourself a good amount of alcohol.
you were certainly going to need a lot of liquid courage to get through the night.
“you boast about girls begging for you but i think you’re just trying to hide the fact that you’re the one who has to beg to get laid.”
“i don’t beg, baby.” you rolled your eyes and muttered a ‘sure’. “also, if you’re jealous of me fucking other girls you just had to say it. i wouldn’t be against giving it to you instead.” the stupid wink he threw at you made your body shake in anger, already fed up with the conversation.
“you wish, asshole.”
“actually, i do.”
donghyuck was so fucking annoying, always teasing you and never leaving you alone. your personalities clashed constantly resulting in fights filled with screams and curses, sometimes to the extent of interrupting the class and getting the two of you kicked out of it. he enjoyed watching you struggle and suffer due to his awful pranks, so you were his favorite target. you couldn’t even have a proper date with anyone because he made sure to mess it up either by scaring the crap out of the guy or sabotaging your plans. he almost completely ruined your love life and cockblocked you forever.
you did not get along and everyone knew it.
although eunbin thought it was pure sexual tension and you just needed to get your frustrations off of you with a good fuck.
it wasn’t though.
or was it?
“let’s go hang out with the guys,” your best friend nudged your arm excitedly and you sighed, not feeling like playing anything with them. every time you decided to give in and take part in ‘something fun’ with the guys, it always ended up with you either in trouble or scarred for life.
you had a bad feeling about this all.
“ugh, fine.” she cheered and pulled you through the crowd of drunk people until you reached the basement.
the sound of laughter and screams drowned the music blasting upstairs, there were empty bottles of alcohol sprawled all over the floor and tables and a circle of people in the middle of the room. both of you joined the group with you sitting between eunbin and mark, a close friend of yours that you sadly shared with donghyuck. while you casually chatted and played around with the boy, happily laughing the night away, you could feel a pair of eyes burn holes into your skull. you didn’t have to look up to know who those eyes belonged to, as said person wasn’t even trying to dissimulate.
and by said person you meant donghyuck.
donghyuck hated the way you leaned on mark’s body, how you let his friend rest his head on top of yours and wrap his arm around your waist.
he was jealous, really jealous of your close friendship with the older boy.
mark and you had been friends for a long time now and you could even consider him your best friend, so you were comfortable around each other. you usually hugged, held hands and cuddled, he was used to you wearing his clothes –half of your closet were stolen hoodies that once belonged to him–, he even had a spare change of clothes in his room just in case you decided to drop by for an improvised sleepover. so it wasn’t surprising when sometimes when the two of you hung out on your own, people –even your friends in common– mistook you as a couple.
and the idea of you two dating made donghyuck feel sick to the stomach.
“we’re playing truth or dare, who wants to start?” seoyeon, one of your friends, spoke while looking around for someone to volunteer.
“i’ll go.” lucas raised his hand and everyone nodded, not minding.
the game went smoothly for a while and eventually, the more alcohol everybody drank, the crazier things got. mark ended up getting dared to lick whipped cream off of yuta’s chest and xiaojun had to cross-dress and dance on a table. everything was fine, you hadn’t been picked by anyone yet so you were pretty much having fun just enjoying the show.
until someone called your name.
“y/n, truth or dare?” jaehyun asked with a smirk.
he had an evil glint on his eyes making you feel suspicious. you knew you couldn’t choose truth or else everyone would make fun of you for being a pussy. and jaehyun just knew you well enough to know you weren’t going to let that happen.
you weren’t one to back down.
still, the way he stared at you made an uneasy feeling settle in your stomach.
what could he possibly have in mind?
“dare.”
seems like your gut feeling was right after all.
“give hyuck a lap dance,” jaehyun said immediately after the words left you mouth, making everyone in the room shake, some in excitement and some –you– in anger. donghyuck wasn’t expecting to take part in the dare, but he really wasn’t complaining either. “thank me later babe,” his shit-eating grin only adding fuel to the fire.
fuck.
just as eunbin, donghyuck could sense the sexual tension. and unlike you, he acknowledged it.
but for him it wasn’t just that.
you two had known each other –or at least acknowledged each other's existence– for a few years now, since high school. he was forced to see you almost every day at school, so, naturally, fondness for you started growing slowly in his chest. but it wasn’t until you both left for college that your ‘enemies’ label was established.
and if someone thought he may possibly like you, they were damn right.
he did.
it all started during freshman year, when he tried to befriend you during one of the classes you shared. you seemed irritated by his advances and wanted him away from you, so after a few attempts of softening your heart, he resolved that the only way to stay close to you was annoying the hell out of you.
childish? yeah. he cared? not really.
“come here, babe.” donghyuck tongued the inside of his cheek, a smirk forming on his lips. as he saw the grim look on your face, he sprawled his legs, patting his toned thigh invitingly, eager to get things started.
the look jaehyun gave you had ‘you’re not backing down, are you?’ written all over.
“shit, i hate jaehyun, why did he have to do me dirty like that?” you mumbled angrily to eunbin and she just laughed, finding the situation way funnier than you.
“maybe tonight won’t be as boring as you thought? maybe you’ll end up getting laid.” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and you only scoffed, “shut up, dumbass.”
“why did you have to do me like that, huh?!” you almost screamed at the older, taking a mental note to beat him up later. he just shrugged and threw you a wink, “asshole.”
mark patted your back to help you relax, he could see you weren’t exactly happy about your dare.
“come on, which song would you like, my lady?” lucas asked, scrolling through his spotify for suiting songs.
“or nah!” yangyang answered before you could even open your mouth. just as you were about to ask for a less sexual song, cheering erupted through the room.
everyone was pumped, adrenaline running through their veins and pushing them to do stupid stuff they would probably regret the next day after waking up hungover. and things just took a rather interesting turn, so they obviously were excitedly awaiting the next series of events.
yay, more stupid memories to regret later.
on the other hand, donghyuck was as doomed as you. he knew the song well, he knew the lyrics by heart but what he didn’t know was if he could control himself with you basically dry humping him in front of a bunch of people to the rhythm of it.
he wasn’t sure it was a great idea.
as soon as you got up to complete the dare, you heard cheering and clapping. and you weren’t going to lie, you wanted to throw yourself out of a window.
breathing deeply in an attempt of relaxing to just get it over with, you made your way towards donghyuck until you were standing a few feet in front of him.
as the music started playing, you started moving. running your finger on the surface of his clothed shoulder, you walked slowly around him, like a predator circling its prey. he tried not to follow your movements, already getting anxious by your closeness and nervously waiting for your next move.
i’ma smoke this joint then i’ma break you off.
i’d be lying if i said you ain’t the one.
you pushed his legs open and settled between them. your hands rubbed his thighs teasingly, fingers drawing closer to his crotch but not quite getting there. you took your sweet time feeling him up, softly scratching his strong arms and leaving red trails behind. donghyuck was so into it, enjoying the sight of you kneeling before him so much that his pants were already starting to feel tight.
heard you not the type that you take home to mom.
is we fuckin’ when we leave the club or nah?
i ain’t spendin’ cash for nothin’ i wanna see you take it off.
and oh how he wanted to see you take it off. all night he couldn’t take his eyes off of your figure, you looked really good in the outfit eunbin had chosen for you.
so good it was almost making him drool.
you sat on his lap, hands going to caress his toned chest and stomach. it was well-known that donghyuck exercised frequently, but it still surprised you. he felt so good you had to bite your lip to prevent a sound from coming out.
when you shifted to sit closer to him, his hands flew to your hips and you could tell his intention was to move them lower to grope your ass, but you weren’t having it.
do you like the way i flick my tongue or nah?
you can ride my face until you’re drippin’ cum.
“if you try to touch me again, i’ll tie you up,” you said with a sweet smile plastered on your face, grabbing him by the wrists and harshly dropping them away from you. donghyuck let out a startled gasp at that, obviously not expecting your attitude. with his hands twitching to grasp anything, he went to grip tightly the sides of the chair.
can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?
can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?
your hips ground against his crotch at such a slow pace that donghyuck was having trouble not pushing you down on him faster. he was getting embarrassingly hornier as seconds passed and wanted nothing more than to fuck you right then and there, even with his friends’ eyes on you both.
donghyuck tried so hard to restrain himself from touching you. he wasn’t one to follow orders, but he tried just for you, he really did.
i’m not the type to call you back tomorrow.
but the way you wrappin’ ‘round me is a prob.
and everything was fine until you kissed him. synchronized gasps filled the room, the sudden show of affection confusing everybody. not even your intoxicated self could understand what the hell were you doing nor who you were doing it with. his breath got stuck in his throat, heart thumping against his chest at an alarming rate. his hands almost tried to bring you closer, but he realized what he was doing on time to stop himself.
he finally broke down when your mouth sucked on his tongue, making his hips grind up against yours unconsciously as his hands grabbed you by your waist, pressing your body flush against his.
that was it.
“you asked for it,” your movements came to a stop as you took off your black leather belt, sticking to your threat of tying him up if he didn’t quit it.
pussy so good, i had to save that shit for later.
took her to the kitchen, fucked her right there on the table.
“oh shit,” donghyuck stirred under you trying to get out of the situation.
this couldn’t be happening.
“no, please,” he whimpered as you fastened the belt until it was wrapped tightly around his wrists, locking his arms behind his back. your audience was unable to hold in their surprise, some mouths falling open. he fought against the restraints to no avail, desperate to free himself, “please, let me go,” he cried out quietly, not wanting the other occupants in the room to hear him.
“stop complaining or else i’ll also gag you,” you spat harshly in his ear, done with his attitude, and he swallowed hard. as you nibbled on his lobe, you felt a strong sense of confidence. it made your chest swell in pride to see the usual big mouth jerk with a smug grin constantly attached to his face falling apart under your touch.
seems like he was the one to beg, after all.
you moved your hips to the rhythm of the music, making sure to press harder against the sensitive tip of his cock, which was already leaking precum. although you weren’t an expert, you’d given a fair share of lap dances, so you knew what you were doing.
and donghyuck could certainly tell.
don’t play with a boss, girl take it off.
take it for a real one.
you gon’ get it all.
“whose bitch are you now, huh?” donghyuck couldn’t speak properly, way too hot and bothered for his brain to come up with any smart-ass response.
you tsked disapprovingly at his lack of response.
“when i ask you a question, you answer.” your fingers tangled in his hair and with a harsh tug you forced him to look up. donghyuck was dazed, lips swollen from you biting on them, eyes glassy from arousal, and mind clouded with lust.
“yours.” he whimpered quietly, forgetting momentarily about your audience.
“good boy.”
you loved how easy it was for you to break him and leave him wanting more, to have him so putty in your hands. specially since hearing comments of other female classmates about donghyuck teasing them almost till the brim of tears was part of your day-to-day life. it felt like you were getting revenge for all of them, so you were enjoying it a lot more than anyone could imagine.
your plump lips trailed down the length of his neck, leaving wet kisses along his honey-like skin, and he threw his head back to give you more access. as you licked, sucked and bit the flesh, donghyuck could hear his heartbeat loud over the music. he usually wouldn’t let a girl suck hickeys on his skin, but the idea of you marking him while everyone watched was rather exciting.
he swore the seconds passed slower than usual. you were just halfway through the song but he didn’t know if he could survive any longer.
donghyuck felt light-headed and painfully aroused, and he wasn’t going to last long if you kept kissing him and moving your hips the way you were.
“i’ma go as far as you let me,” your movements became slower to tease him, making the poor boy want to cry in agony. his jeans felt way too tight to be comfortable and he hoped everyone could just leave you two alone to take it off.
“shit, please,” donghyuck’s eyes closed, head falling forward and hanging low as drops of sweat slid down his forehead. the room felt like an oven and he didn’t know if it was a result of the significant amount of people in such a small space, the alcohol, his choice of clothing or your body pressed closely against his.
probably the latter.
girl, is you sucking me or fucking me or nah?
can i bring another bitch? let’s have a threesome.
“keep saying you’re a freak, you gon’ prove it or nah?” you quietly sang along, pulling his face closer by his hair and grinding down on him harder.
donghyuck was going crazy, he had never expected you to be so sexy, to behave so dirtily. but he loved it, and by the prominent tent in his pants, everybody could tell he was in for the ride of his life.
you’s a ride-or-die chick, you with this shit or nah?
say you not a side bitch, you all-in or nah?
you gon’ make them eggs cheesy with them grits or nah?
you brought him in for a hot kiss that left his head spinning.
donghyuck was growing restless as his climax neared, he was so close he could almost taste it. he couldn’t remember when the last time he got so close to cumming only from some teasing was.
everything was happening so quickly he wasn’t able to stop himself before giving in to the pleasure.
“h-holy fuck,” with a shaky moan that you swallowed, donghyuck shot his load, staining the crotch of his dark jeans. you could feel the wetness seeping through the piece of clothing and dampening your bottoms. his hips gave a few more sloppy thrusts, legs shaking weakly and cock twitching from the confines of his jeans, before falling limp on the chair.
or nah.
as the song ended, he came down from his high. you freed him from the iron grip of your belt, the skin on his wrists was red and slightly swollen. you may have tightened it too much in the heat of the moment, but you weren’t apologizing after giving him probably the best orgasm of his life.
the bewildered expression on his face quickly turned grim as it hit him.
he came in his pants like a fucking teenager.
in a room full of people.
in front of his friends, yours and you.
his friends stood there, both confused and surprised to see donghyuck so affected by your touch. nobody had expected things to end the way they did.
“damn, are you okay my man?” johnny asked, laughing at his friend’s flustered state.
“shut up,” donghyuck answered bitterly. he shot up from his seat, grabbing your hand and shoving you inside the nearest bathroom in the house. he didn’t even care to cover the wet spot on his pants, walking with his chin up and a scowl plastered on his face.
and blame it on how riled up you had gotten from the feeling of his hard dick pressing against your needy pussy, but damn, he looked good.
“i wanna go next!” hendery spoke excitedly. you couldn’t tell if he was just messing with you or if he actually wanted you to give him a lap dance too. either way, it made your lips turn upwards in a smug grin.
once you both made it to the bathroom, he locked the door before pushing you against it, back pressed flush into the hard piece of wood. the ambience took a 180 turn, your confidence faltered slightly at the sight of his angry form.
“you think it’s funny, yeah?” he hummed angrily in your ear. “you think i’d let you do whatever you want and embarrass me in front of my friends just because you feel like it without payback?” the look on his eyes getting darker as the words left his mouth.
“if so, oh baby, you were so wrong.”
trying to test him, you decided to answer.
“you’re all bark and no bite, what else am i supposed to think?” you smirked devilishly when you saw him clench his jaw.
“you’re gonna regret being a brat,” his slender fingers wrapped themselves around your waist and with a harsh tug, he pulled you closer to attack your lips, biting and sucking on them, making your legs wobbly. he tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, probably from the liquor he had been drinking all night, and you couldn’t seem to get enough. his lips were soft and plush as they mingled with yours, teeth roughly clashing and tongues fighting for dominance, “am i?”
donghyuck hissed through his teeth as he unbuckled his pants, letting his cum-covered shaft spring free. he was already hard and you unconsciously rubbed your thighs together to ease some of the tension building up between them. his hand shot to your throat, tightening his grip until you couldn’t breathe properly, before forcing you on your knees.
donghyuck tapped his hard and heavy cock on your lips a couple of times before speaking. “open up, slut,” and you did as you were told, parting your lips and poking your tongue out, waiting for him to slide in.
but he didn’t.
he wanted you to lick him clean, he wanted to see you do as he said, follow his orders like a good girl without complaints.
“clean the mess you’ve done. now.”
the harsh tone of his voice sent a wave of arousal straight to your core. your hands immediately shot up to grab a hold of his length, but before you got too close he stopped you. confusion was written all over your face and for a moment you worried he had changed his mind.
“no hands, i want you to work on it only with that dirty mouth of yours.”
with your hands gripping onto his thighs, your tongue swiped from the base to the head of his cock, eagerly licking him clean. once you had swallowed every drop of his cum, your mouth took him whole, hollowing your cheeks, one hand massaging his balls. donghyuck threw his head back as yours bobbed at a rapid pace, the tip of his cock reaching the back of your throat as you swallowed around him.
when he was about to cum, he pulled away from your mouth, making you whine at the loss. wrapping his hand once again around your throat like a beautiful necklace, he forced you up on your feet. he turned you around before pulling you closer by a rough tug. your clothed ass pressed against his dick, a mixture of his arousal and your saliva wetting the cloth. your hips ground back to both tease him, desperate to feel something, anything. his hands went to the front of your jeans, rubbing his fingers over your clothed clit and a whimper fell from your lips.
“more, i need more,” you pleaded, the barrier of clothes making the feeling less pleasurable.
he surprisingly complied without resistance, dipping the digits under the restricting cloth. a deep groan vibrated against the side of your neck when he felt the wetness that had been gathering inside your panties since your dare.
“look at you, so damn wet,” his mouth watered at the feeling of your needy heat. at this point, donghyuck knew everyone had an idea of what you two could possibly be doing, and although he would enjoy returning the favour by eating you out to his heart’s content, there wasn’t enough space nor time to do so comfortably. but he swore he would make it up to you some time.
“for who is it, baby?” the answer was obvious, but still, he wanted to hear it directly from you. he inserted one long finger until it was knuckles deep inside of you and you let out a squeak, head falling back onto his shoulder.
“for you donghyuck, all for you.”
“that’s right, slut, only i can make you that wet, only i can touch you like this. you’re mine, don’t forget that,” he inserted a second finger and pumped them deeply into you.
“yes,” you breathed out softly, too far gone to fight back with a snarky remark.
although his fingers felt good and you could possibly –with a bit of an effort– cum just from them, you still wanted more. you wanted to feel the nice stretch of his cock tearing your walls apart.
“please, donghyuck.”
“what do you want?”
donghyuck knew what you wanted. fuck, he wanted it too, so bad. he had been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time and now that he could finally have it, he was going to make the best out of it.
“fuck me,” your core ached to be filled so you swallowed your pride and spoke out.
“condom?”
“we don’t need it, i’m on the pill,” you rushed, stomach twisting and turning in excitement, “please, just fuck me.”
donghyuck’s eyes turned darker, lust clouding both of your minds with the only desire to fuck each other stupid. he pulled down your jeans so they were pooling on your ankles and went back to pump his fingers inside you to make sure you were ready to take him. as he entered you, you had to lean on the sink in front of you to hold yourself up or else you would have faceplanted the mirror.
“you feel so good, fuck, so fucking tight,” donghyuck growled when he was balls deep in you.
whimpers fell from your lips from the delicious stretch of his thick cock. after a few seconds of you adjusting to his size, you backed your ass into his hips to let him know you wanted him to move. he gave a couple of thrusts to test the waters before picking up his pace and you gripped the sides of the sink as he pounded into you. his mouth worked on your neck while you brought one of his hands under your shirt to play with your breasts.
“such a pretty sight, don’t you think?” he tugged harshly at your hair to force you to look at your reflection on the mirror, thrusts never faltering.
your makeup was ruined; lipstick smeared messily all over your lips from the hot make-out session, neck full of bruises donghyuck left to claim you, shirt pulled above your breasts displaying your puckered nipples while one of his big hands grabbed your boob as they bounced with every hard snap of his hips.
“you have no idea how many times i had to control myself not to pounce on you,” his eyes never left your quivering reflection, completely in love with the way your frame molded with his, “every single time you couldn’t keep that pretty little mouth of yours closed and all i wanted to do was shut you up with my cock.”
“f-fuck,” his thrusts turned rougher as his free hand wrapped around your neck, tightening his grip and amplifying the mind-blowing sensations he was giving you.
your asscheeks slapped against his hips, which drilled against you at an unhuman pace, hitting the right spots with every snap and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, loud moans threatening to fall from your lips so you slapped your palm over your mouth to muffle your sounds.
“don’t, i want to hear you,” he gave a particularly hard thrust to try and draw a sound out of you, “i want you to be so loud that all of our friends know what we’re doing, i want them to know how good i’m making you feel.”
specially mark.
but he wasn’t going to tell you that.
“h-hyuck,” you couldn’t hold back the broken moan that fell from your lips, pleasure overtaking your body. your hands gave in and you almost fell forward, but donghyuck reacted sooner and pulled you by your hair, holding you up.
“address me properly, brat,” he growled in your ear. you felt a hard slap on your ass, the skin of the abused area stinging from the impact.
“i’m sorry… fuck, donghyuck,” your cries went straight to his dick, urging him to fuck you harder. he kneaded the flesh soothingly before spanking it again and again until you could make out the imprint of his big hand on your asscheek.
“f-faster, please,” you pleaded in a whine and he tsked, shaking his head, “such a greedy little slut.”
“what would everyone think of you if they could see you so eagerly taking my cock, mm?” donghyuck hummed, “begging for me to fuck you until you can’t walk properly?
shocks of pleasure shot through you, his dirty talk helping you reach your release faster than you anticipated. his grip on you was so tight you were sure you were going to be sore the next day. your moans turned pornographic as you neared your release, your walls squeezed around donghyuck to the point he was unable to move, so he started drawing circles over your sensitive clit to help you get off.
“let go, baby.”
and soon, his touch threw you over the edge, causing your body to shake and a broken moan to fall from your lips, legs weak as your whole weight only relied on your arms for support. he followed shortly after, grunting as he filled you up with his warm and sticky essence.
as he pulled out, a mixture of your slick juices and his seed leaked from your abused hole, dripping down your inner thighs. his fingers slid over to gather the drops of cum and opposite to your assumption, he didn’t push it back inside of you but brought the digits to your face, waiting for you to open your mouth.
“suck.”
and you did, eyes locked with his through the mirror as your tongue swirled around his fingers to lick them clean.
“fuck,” donghyuck sighed, “i didn’t know you were so dirty, sweetheart.”
and the teasing comes back.
“do you want me to remind you how i made you cum in your pants back there in a room full of people?” you rolled your eyes in disbelief and he just let out a breathy laugh.
“whatever. either way, even if they didn’t have the pleasure of fucking you or at least seeing you get fucked, they surely could hear you from how loud you were screaming my name.”
“good thing mark now knows who you belong to,” the words slipped out of his mouth before he could think and both of you shared a look of pure shock.
“did you just mention mark?”
“…no?”
“you did! what the fuck? were you jealous of mark?” you asked, eyes wide as you remembered the disgusted look on his face when you and mark got too touchy with each other during the game.
“i am jealous of mark.”
“what? why?”
“oh my god, you’re so dense.”
“shut up, i’m not.”
“yes, you are. i like you dumbass, that’s fucking why. why wouldn’t i be jealous if you two act like you’re dating but always deny it when questioned? i can give you my hoodies, i can cuddle you and hold your hand, i can spoil you with cute stuff. i can be your boyfriend, it doesn’t have to be him.”
everything was so weird.
you were supposed to be enemies for fucks sake.
but he looked cute with pouty lips.
“well, you sure have got a damn weird way of demonstrating it.”
“shut up, okay?” donghyuck snapped, done with trying to get you to shut the fuck up. “i just didn’t know how to approach you or talk to you at all, alright?” he sighed, a scowl forming on his face. “you always seem to be angry when i’m around.” the change in his voice shocked you, it was much softer now, as if he was afraid of you hearing it.
“hey, don’t beat yourself for it, alright?” you sighed, feeling bad for being so mean to him for no reason. because you really didn’t have a reason. whenever you weren’t at each other’s throats and you got time to observe him from afar, you saw how caring he was with his friends, even if most of the time he annoyed the crap out of them.
donghyuck actually seemed like a good guy… if you ignored his teasing.
maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you thought.
“so, would you be my-,”
suddenly, the sound of banging on the door resonated through the room.
“are you done already? i need to pee.”
you quickly fixed your clothes, embarrassed by the presence of someone outside the door waiting for you and donghyuck to get out and momentarily forgetting about the boy’s proposal. just as you were about to open the door and get yourself the fuck out of the situation, his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you closer and whisper to your ear in a way you could feel your panties get damp once again.
“we’re not done yet, princess.”
–lia:)
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streets-in-paradise · 2 years
Text
A Personal Cheerleader - Andy Barclay x (fem) Reader
Chucky Oneshot 
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Word Count + 1700
Warnings: Setted between Curse and Cult, It Is referenced that Chucky's head psycologically tortures Andy as payback for the pysical torture. The reader reassures an insecure Andy after he gets too much of that. 
Summary: Andy seems uneasy about something that he wouldn't tell you. Knowing that asking him directly about it wouldn't be the best choice, you try your best with an extensive reminder of your love for him. 
Notes: Pretty much like Kyle before the end of Cult, the reader is aware of everything else but has no idea that Andy keeps Chucky's head in his house. I don't know if that makes much sense but at this point I don't care, I just want to write comfort fluff for this character.
Tags: Specially dedicated to @losersclubisms​, who witnessed this idea emerge in my mind during one of our talks. 
You loved to stay in your boyfriend’s house, but he was always more comfortable when he would stay at yours for some reason you couldn’t understand completely. However, you never questioned him about it because you assumed that it had to be about his issues with intimacy. He was a survivor of horrible trauma, ever since he told you about it shortly after you started dating you figured out that your relationship was going to require a lot of patience, but you were more than willing for it. With all its ups and downs, it was the best one you ever had. You were so in love with him that sometimes you wouldn’t even believe yourself of how strong your feelings became, but he wouldn’t stay behind on that matter. Andy was the most devoted boyfriend, he was trying really hard for you and he would never fail in making you feel loved like never before, what would usually leave you wondering the other way around. He would have all those small but meaningful displays of love with you and you loved to return his affection, but you couldn't help to ask yourself if he was really able to feel the true intensity of your feelings. 
You loved Andy so much, but he had some issues with allowing himself to feel loved. Insecurities derived from a past full of romantic failures, a tendency to self isolation and a fragile self esteem mixed in a hell of a complex combination. You knew that he was doing his best and you were there for him anytime he would require it, but he always started by clumsily hiding himself from you before allowing you to bring him the support that you knew he craved. That time wouldn’t be different, but you were achieving more experience. 
It was a saturday afternoon of fall and you convinced him of letting you stay with him for the rest of the weekend because neither of you could resist a good while of snuggling in bed. He was going to, but he just couldn’t refuse. However, he seemed distracted and more quiet than usual. Numb, more than worried, he was probably feeling uneasy about something that he wasn’t going to tell and seeing him like that was breaking your heart. Asking directly about it wasn’t going to work and your idea wasn’t to make him feel uncomfortable, but you craved for any way of making him feel better. Of course it was going to be far more difficult without knowing the cause and perhaps it was one of those aspects in which there was not much left for you to do about it. Pretty much like when you would hold him in your arms whenever he would wake up from a nightmare, there were certain things that were beyond your capacity as his romantic partner. All you could do was try your best to comfort him. 
Intrusive thoughts, even while he kept Chucky locked Andy wasn’t able to make him shut up. You had no idea that he was there with both of you, severed head hidden in a safe waiting for you to leave so his captor would drag him out. Ever since he found out that you were going to come, days before while hearing your phone calls, he took his time driving Andy insane with his awful commentary. For as much as he enjoyed the feeling of payback he would get from the phisical torture of the doll head, Chucky was still able to fight back using his psychological effect on him. He spent days torturing him by feeding on his insecurities, making sure that Andy would be the saddest mess for when you will arrive so he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the time with you. He took every chance available to make him feel like crap, from spitting disgusting jokes about you being “ hotter than him”,  to really hurting comments implying that you were with him out of pity. In a relatively short amount of time he managed to bash him among all the spectrum of his insecurities, not caring for the physical consequences of opening his mouth because he knew that his words were enough to hurt as much or even more than any weapon. 
What you were witnessing was the result of his hard work, but you would never be able to guess it. Unsure of how to approach the issue, you dragged your boyfriend out of his overthinking with an ask that seemed innocently unrelated. 
“ Babe… Would you mind reading something for me?” 
He stared at you with an inquisitive expression. 
“ Right now? Do you have any ideas of what you would want to hear ? ” 
“ Anything is good, I don't mind the content. I could hear a recipe book if it’s read in your voice.” You sweetly complimented him. “ All I want is to hear you.” 
Your joke made him chuckle, but you detected a glimpse of skepticism. 
“ Well, that still sounds boring and I bet you will not find any of those books here.” 
You clinged tighter to him before continuing your praise session. 
“ You are far too quiet and I love your voice. “ You insisted. “ Besides, I asked you many times to record something for me to hear when you are away..” 
“ I don’t see the point. I hate the sound of my voice in recordings.” He replicated. “ Do you really want it that much?” 
You replied by giving him a peck on the lips. 
“ I may have to give it a try one of these days.” He said afterwards, a bit of a shy smile sneaking out of him for a brief instant. 
It was precisely what you wanted, so you kept on that path. 
“ Damn, that smile! Are you aware that yours is the cutest one i ever saw? I would do anything for it.  “ 
He started to get suspicious and you just got increasingly more playful. 
“ What are you trying to get with this?” 
“ To play” You simply replied. “ I'm making a list of every single thing I love about you, just because I feel like doing it.” 
“... Alright, I’m listening.” He answered in the same tone you were using. “ I didn’t sign up to have a personal cheerleader, but this could be very amusing… What else do you have?” 
Noticing that he was on board with what you were doing made you feel very good. 
“ … Well, I already mentioned your voice and your smile, but that last one also implies that I love your face in general… and not just your face, like some people would say ‘ You have a cute face.’ but you know they are implying something else. I love your face as much as I love your body. You are freaking gorgeous, love.” You made a short pause, thinking about how you wanted it to continue. “ and not just cute in an overall way: handsome, attractive… hot. “ 
It made him smirk, since you just debunked one of Chucky’s most common puns without realizing it. 
“ Yeah? Am I hot enough for you? Because you are way too gorgeous and I still have no idea of how this is working.” 
“ You have no idea of the things you make me think…” You purred before getting to kiss his neck, stopping your detailed enumeration only to physically emphasize your point. 
You couldn’t ignore that he felt a little bit teased when you stopped to carry one with your game. 
“ But we are not going to talk only about how lovely handsome or sinfully hot you are able to look. No, no, this goes far deeper than that. You have the most precious heart. You are so kind and thoughtful, selfless to a point that it's rather scary. But I mean it in a good sense, sometimes you show to be more caring for others than what you would ever try to be with yourself. " You deviated from that point, fearing it could be triggering. "And you are so protective, you look after me with such devotion. I swear that no one ever made me feel as safe and loved as you do... No one else ever loved me in the way you do, Andy. " 
He was feeling your reassurance, but that meant he was changing silence for self deprecating humor. 
" That must be because nobody ever needed you as desperately as I do. " He mocked himself. " I'm a fucking mess. A hot one, perhaps, but still a mess... and what we have is the only one thing in my life that makes sense. " 
The end of the joke was lovely referencing your comment and you felt very encouraged. 
" This, you and me, it's the most beautiful thing and I wouldn't change it for anything. " You concluded. " You know what? If we would have ever came across Chucky and that bitch of Tiffany together i would have told her in her fucking face that your are far better than her asshole husband because he would never make her feel as loved as you make me feel... And guess what? I would have won because she would have seen that I was goddamn right just with an instant of seeing us."  
Your very odd occurrence seemed to amuse him. 
" Yeah, no. You should be thankful that never happened. " 
" Of course, we could have ended up fighting over you and I'm not that menacing without my gun." 
That last addition made him laugh real loud. 
" That's so absurd, I can't believe you actually came up with that. "
" Sure, it is insane. We all know that Chucky was a lady's killer, you are who should have taken romantic advice from him." You ironically joked back. " Haven't you heard he was about to get a publishing deal for a book about how to keep a good marriage?"   
You had no idea of how relieved you were making him feel through those jokes. The total discredit of Chucky's words implied in your punch didn't erase everything he said, but it helped to leave it without effect for a while.  
Out of sudden, Andy's lips were over yours in an intense, loveful kiss,as he also began to caress your waist. 
" I must assume that was your way of saying that you love my very dumb sense of humor." You commented after he allowed you to catch your breath. 
" I love you, (Y/N)." He corrected you, visibly enamored. " I'm in love with you and I'm in love with your love. Does that make any sense? Because that’s exactly how I feel."
Your sweet smile became the positive answer that he was looking for and he didn’t resist the urge of kissing you once more. Immediately afterwards, you got up for just one instant in order to pick something that came to your mind. Not leaving him enough time to miss you in the bed, you came back to him happily wielding a book you had tucked in your bag. 
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the-winter-spider · 3 years
Text
Element
Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader
Warnings: Mention of a possible suicide attempt, angst
A/N: Honestly not sure what this is, i just started writing what came to mind lol not proof read or edited, try to enjoy.
Word Count: 2.6k
You were always the quiet and reserved one, everyone was each known for their own personality trait. Steve was brave and courageous, Bruce was smart and kind, Nat was a flirtatious, beautiful and brave, Tony was cocky genius, Wanda was strong and a fighter, Clint was mostly always right and gave the best advice, Thor was heroic and loyal, the list could go on and on for everyone. When Bucky was finally able to leave Wakanda Steve was over the moon to have his best friend back, a place you took while he was gone and you were sad to give it up but it was the right thing to do, Steve couldn’t stop talking about how he knew how well you and Bucky would get along, you were both quiet, reserved and extremely observant both have gone through torturte and human experimentation.
And he was right, when Steve wasn't there, Bucky would be with you and you with him. At first there was just silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable. That's how things stayed for a while before slowly you started to crack small jokes here and there, you were funny and you knew it but it was the type of humour that wasn't for everyone, and the first time you made a joke around Bucky you didn’t even expect for him to hear it. You were all sat around the dinner table everyone else was chattering away and Bucky and you of course remained to yourself just observing and eating dinner, someone said something and you don’t remember who said it or what was said all you remember was whispering out “that's what she said” it was stupid so stupid, you felt your cheeks heat up when you realized you said it outloud but everyone else kept talking you thought you were in the clear that was until Bucky nearly choked on his food and laughed, not just any laugh but wholeheartedly laugh and then everyone when silent almost immediately, all eyes on your two. You could see the shock on their faces, that was the first time anyone heard Bucky laugh besides Steve, you looked up to see Steve with the biggest grin on his face, Tony looked between the two of you raising his eyebrows “So she has jokes? Please do have the honours of filling us in on what was so funny you made a guy” he gestured towards Bucky with his hands before continuing “with the permanent frown, turn it upside down?”
Before you knew it Bucky was groaning, you could hear his fork clattering against the plate, you could still feel everyone staring at you, you still did not respond to Tony, someone else said something but you couldn’t hear it because it started raining hard, your heart rate was picking up. Steve looked out the window knowing why it suddenly started to rain and decided to take the attention off of you too “Alright guys, how about we leave them alone and finishing eating so we can watch that movie Bruce wants us to watch” Steve reached over giving your arm a slight squeeze, you felt your breathing become normal and heart rate slowing down, and suddenly it stopped raining.
That was only the first time you made Bucky laugh, there was countless times after that, where you two would be sitting so close to each other on the couch whispering back and forth only loud enough for you two to hear and you would giggle and his laugh would boom off the walls, but as soon as someone walked in you two would stop almost instantly, but when they left it would start again.
Slowly Bucky became more comfortable around others, not just you. It started when he was training in the gym and he and Nat started to spar with one another, that made Steve happy, Nat was one of his other close friends he wanted Bucky to get along with like you. You didn’t go to the gym ever and that was even an understatement, you didn’t need to train that wasn't your area of expertise, you controlled the elements, including anything to do with nature. When you were feeling too overwhelmed your emotions could show outside, when you were with Bucky it was always sunny out, when you got worried when Steve was on a mission it would be a gloomy day. You sometimes didn’t even realize you were doing it and as soon as you did you would turn it off, it was one of the reasons you were so reserved because you felt vulnerable that people would just know how you were feeling sometimes. That wasn’t all you could do, when you found out Bucky loved Plums you grew him his own Plum tree outside in seconds he was in awe of you. You felt butterflies in your stomach and that day there also just so happened to but a swarm of butterflies hanging around the tree, you were thankful Bucky didn’t catch on to why.
When Bucky and you went on missions together after they were complete he couldn’t stop telling you how amazing you were, and you couldn’t help yourself from falling in love with him each time that he did. On your days off you would hang out in his room or yours, and would just lay in bed with one another talking about everything, he became your person and you hoped you were his. Your favourite memory was this one time you were sitting directly beside his body while he was lying down, you were holding his metal hand with both of your hands, you started to run your hand over it making small flowers grow on it, you felt Bucky's eyes on you “You make everything beautiful don't you doll?” he sat up, using his free arm he plucked a flower from his metal arm twirling it in between his fingers “Who woulda thought?” he laughed, reaching over, placing it behind your ear. That was the first of many moments you two had like that, and you were in heaven, you smiled more, you were in love. You always wondered if Bucky felt the same, he experienced the same moments you had together because he helped create them but that didn’t mean he felt the same way.
You were eating cereal at the table when Steve came over. “Hey y/n, first time I've seen you alone in'' Steve pretended to count his fingers, “in forever!”
You looked up at him “ha ha, very funny”
Steve sat down across from you, pouring himself some cereal “Where is Bucky anyway? Thought you guys were inseparable?” He smirked.
“He’s training with Nat” Steve gave you a knowing look, he knew you never set foot in the gym and Bucky wasn’t going to change that a small silence fell over you, all you could hear was the crunching of cereal till Steve swallowed “He likes you, yknow”
“Well i'd hope so we are friends”
“That's not what I meant”
Before you could finish your conversation you could hear his laugh, followed by someone elses laugh, it made your ears perk up, you dont think you've ever heard him laugh with anyone but you or Steve, you felt a pain in your heart followed by a turning in the pit of your stomach, jealousy? You thought, couldn't be you were just friends and that's all you would ever be, you should be happy for him he was happy.
You put your bowl in the sink turning around to see Bucky entering the kitchen with Nat trailing behind him, she gave his shoulder a shove, and the smile on his face was your favourite smile.
“Ain't that just the best sound!” You heard Sam shout from behind, Bucky and Nat stopped in there tracks to turn around to see where the voice was coming from, Sam took the opportunity to through each arm over their shoulder “Laughter is the best sound”
Bucky scoffed, shoving Sam's arm off of him, Sam laughed “And just like that he's back to normal” Steve laughed with him.
Bucky made his way to you “Hey doll” you gave him a smile “Train well?”
He opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water chugging it “With Nat? Always” You gave him a smile before he walked away to sit with everyone else, you don't know why but the way he said it made your stomach uneasy, you could feel self doubt swirling in your mind, before you let it get the best of you and let it affect the weather giving away how you felt, you left the kitchen in a hurry and for the first time in forever no one was trailing behind you.
Slowly Bucky was with you less, he still would make an effort, he considered you his best friend he told you once and he knew you prefered to be alone, so he didn’t push you as much as you wish he did to come hang out with everyone when they would go out for drinks, or to eat. You would just sit at the compound in your room by yourself, letting your mind race with thoughts you didn’t dare talk about. The thing is you were always like this, from what you could remember at least you were? but you knew Bucky wasn't, so when he started to get more comfortable he started opening up more to everyone, taking a step ahead of you mentally, leaving you in the dust behind and you were so happy for him, or so you told yourself.
The first time Bucky, Sam, Steve and Nat were going out and he didn’t stop by to invite you like he always did, when Steve asked if he was going to as they were passing your door, you stood there and heard Bucky pause before saying “No point” you could feel him shrug his shoulders before Nat and Sam laughed, then there footsteps retreated. Your heart broke, that was when you knew he was giving up on you. You tried to convince yourself it was okay, you were okay, you were better off alone anyway it didn't matter, you didn't matter.
Things like that started to happen more frequently, slowly losing Bucky that is. When he entered a room he didn't always greet you anymore, he would just smile and nod your way, till he just didn't acknowledge you at all. He stopped calling you doll, the pet name he used but instead he would call you by your first name, it was so foreign to you that the first time he said your name you didn't even answer till he was standing in front of you waving his metal arm in front of your face you felt embarrassed, everyone started to laugh, you apologized before giving him the papers he needed for the rest of his mission report and left the room almost immediately. It wasn't his fault, you didn’t blame him for retreating away from you, it wasn't his fault he wasn't the same damaged soldier he was and you were never going to change, everyone tried to get you out of your shell at some point but they just slowly gave up, you didn't mind, you weren't worth all the effort and you knew that.
You spent most of the time from there on out in your room, you didn't want to bother anyone, you started to feel like Hydra was right you didn't belong anywhere and locked up in the glass box back at their old facility was probably the best place, did the avengers really and i mean really need you? They were more than capable before you, so they would be after too. You let your thoughts ponder while you laid in the bath, you let your head become fully submerged, you could still breathe underwater, this was one of your favourite things to do, it was so peaceful under there, no one could get to you. You wondered if you held your breath under the water would it be like above where you couldn’t breath like a normal person? Before you knew it you weren’t sure how much time had passed you started to see little black dots and for some reason you still hadn't let the breath go.
Everyone was in the kitchen having dinner, Tony spoke up “When was the last time y/n ate with us?” He questioned out loud.
Everyone looked up before Bruce responded “When was the last time she even left her room?”
This had everyone's attention especially Bucky and Steves. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time you spoke to him or when you two last hung out, he tried his best to get you out of your bubble like you did for him, he wanted to take you out and show you off to the world but he knew how it felt to be forced into that before being ready, he just hoped it would have been sooner rather than later, he missed you but he got the message after so many “No Bucky, its okay im fine here, you go ahead” it broke his heart not to see you but he stopped when he went to your door one day and before he could even knock FRIDAY was informing him you didn’t want to see anyone that day, and he thought he wasn't just anyone to you, he thought he was someone to you, he thought you two were falling in love with one another, or at least he was with you. So he pushed back his feelings, burying them deep down like he was use to and let you go, hoping that the saying Steve told him when he was comforting him that you would come back to him and if it was meant to be because he didn't know what to do if it wasn't but that was weeks ago and he was losing hope.
Bucky was broken out of his thoughts when it started storming outside, everyone’s attention snapped to the window “There's no chance Thor is supposed to stop by is there?” Steve asked
“No” everyone murmured, it wasn't unusual for the weather to drastically changed at the compound, everyone got use to it when you started learning how to control your powers but it only stormed when you were experiencing emotions too deeply, this worried everyone.
Tony stood up “I'm gonna go check on the kid” as he made his way to the kitchen door and as he pushed it open water was making its way down the hallway, trickling like it would on a window “Please tell me someone left the front door open” Everyone's eyes turned to the hallway, Steve and Bucky stood up at the same time “Y/n!” they shouted before they pushed passed everyone running to your room, Tony was behind alerting the A.I to get medical on standby. When they got to your door it was locked, not just via the A.I system but manually too, Bucky used his metal arm to punch your door down, water was everywhere and all the plants in your room were dying.
You don't remember how long you were under water for or when things started to fade away but you felt like you were floating and you felt happiness, at peace was the best way to describe it, your memories flashed before your eyes, happy ones, most of them of Bucky, a few of Steve before your accepted the darkness, you heard banging and shouting before letting the darkness take you.
Part two
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shokobuns · 3 years
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“𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐛𝐫𝐨?”
your irritating step brother likes to come in your room during your zoom classes.
PAIRING: stepbro!gojo satoru x f!reader
GENRE(S): smut, quarantine!au (au? LMAO), college!au, taboo
WORD COUNT: 2.7k
WARNING(S): darkish, smut, drug use (weed), high sex, stepcest, taboo, slight dubcon, slight manipulation, exhibitionism (if you squint), sensory deprivation (blindfold), degradation, size kink, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (f receiving), squirting, dacryphilia (if you squint)
(A/N): this rly do be my first time using proper capitalization huh, anyways all characters, SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD THE READ MORE I FIXED IT 
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More.
One thing you easily learned about Satoru was the fact he wasn’t easy to satisfy. He’s demanding, cocky, all the while being nonchalant. He rarely exerts effort, but gets the desired results. He’s arrogant, but it’s nearly impossible to point out a flaw to counter it at all.
It makes your head hurt. It makes your teeth clench.
When you make eye contact, you make sure to stare back daggers. When you’re forced to talk to him, your voice stays monotone and expressionless. When you’re in a room with him for more than five minutes, your earbuds are already out, drowning out the sound of his voice. But it’s all difficult when you’re under the same roof.
Knock. Knock.
You roll your eyes at the sound of your step brother knocking your door, wondering what the hell he wants now. At this point, he’s probably just trying to annoy you, poke at your sides until he gets attention, any kind of attention, all just to satisfy his boredom.
Your calm demeanor and sharp tongue has always contrasted with Satoru’s teasing attitude. He’s always seemingly trying to provoke you, trying to pry apart the walls you’ve barricaded yourself in. His personality never rubbed you in the right way from the day your dad surprised you with a dinner with your new brother and your new mom. It didn’t matter anyways, you thought. You’d be going off to university soon enough.
The pandemic ran over all of your plans like a truck.
Better yet, your parents still had work without the option of staying home, leaving you and Satoru home alone for a little over eight hours a day. When he wasn’t in class or tutoring his juniors, he was knocking at your door, most likely red-eyed, though you can’t see it, and relaxed. Despite his persistence, you rarely let him in no matter how insistent he is in “getting to know his new lil sister.”
“Go away, Satoru.”
Behind the door, he pouts while you scribble down notes from the screenshared presentation. He comes in anyways, reeking of marijuana and cologne, half of his shirt buttons undone. You steal a small glance before once again glueing your eyes to your computer screen. The voice of your professor bores you, but you’re hyper aware of Satoru’s presence as he makes himself comfortable on your bed. “Get the fuck off! You stink!” You yell, turning off your camera before throwing a pencil right at him.
He catches it mid air with ease, relaxing his head on your pillows while fiddling with one of your many Sanrio plushies. “Can I have this?” he asks, holding one up as you contemplate its value in your head.
“If it gets you out of my room, then sure.” you reply in a monotone voice, turning back to your notes.
“You’re no fun,” he mumbles, rolling over to lay on his side with the plushie in his arms, “Is that organic chem?”
“Yeah, can you go now?”
“I’ll be quiet, princess. Don’t worry about me, just wanna know what my lil sis is up to.” He waits for a response, but is only rewarded with a huff.
It stays like that for the next ten minutes, him watching your professor’s lecture, you scrambling to write all of the information on the slides as he continues the fast paced lesson. You’re hyper focused on your class, putting in your effort to absorb the entirety of the content. In your mind, the only people in your room are your and your computer. “You know, you don’t have to understand everything all at once,”  a voice speaks up from behind you, causing you to purse your lips in annoyance, “It’s easier to learn when you’re actually paying attention to the lecture instead of focusing on trying to get everything down.
“We get it, Satoru. You have straight A’s and you’re naturally good at everything.”
“Hey, you’re getting advice from an aspiring teacher. Don’t need to use that tone with me, Princess.” He mumbles, rolling to his back on the bed, “Just tryna help you out in my free time.”
“I don’t need your help.”
He stays silent while you go back to drawing some of your basic compounds. Ethanol, methanol, propane, all of it. Your scribbles are messy and they progressively fill out the page in your notebook. You hear a tsk behind you, rolling your eyes as you prepare for another criticism from Satoru. Sure, he was probably right, but you refuse to feed into his ego. “Does he not link the slides to you guys or something?” he asks, this time with a friendlier tone.
“He does.” you reply, swiveling your chair until you’re facing him. He’s laying on his side again, his shirt spilling off his shoulder as your breath hitches at the sight. The blindfold is snug against his face, his hair pushed up. You’re sure that the stink of marijuana has rubbed onto your sheets and you make a mental note to wash them after class. “Then get high with me.”
“I’m in the middle of class, dumbass.”
“But you can always look at the slides later.” he suggests, “Plus, you’ve looked super stressed lately. Wonder why.”
Because of you, you want to say, but you stop yourself, opting to stay silent while pondering the offer. “Sure.”
He excitedly walks back to his room, returning to your bed seconds later with a joint between his fingertips. “This your first time?”
“Nah.”
“Ooooo,” he hums like a child, “That’s what you’re up to when we’re not around, huh?” he teases and you shake your head with a smile forming on your face.
“I guess.”
He shrugs, holding the joint up to your lips and lighting up the tip. You suck in the smoke into your lungs, holding it in, before exhaling out the screen door of your window. He takes a hit, opening his mouth and inhaling through his nose then passing it back to you. Your professor’s lecture fades into background noise as you fixate on Satoru, finally giving him the attention he’s been craving for weeks. He makes a mental note to offer you weed the next time he’s overcome by boredom.
The high hits you almost immediately. You’ve never had anything this strong and it’s liberating. You feel weightless, but your eyelids feel heavy. Your face is awfully warm and lifted and your vision gets more and more blurry by the second. The intoxication is pleasant, the present worries in your head being cut off as you focus on what’s right in front of you.
Satoru.
Satoru, your dear, irritating step brother who was kind enough to share the weed he stashes in his drawer. It’s getting harder and harder to hate him and you can’t reason why you felt so many negative emotions that you projected onto him at all. Sure, your room reeks and it’s all because of him, but the sight of him laying on your bed in a shirt that barely covers up his upper body makes your underwear feel uncomfortable. You don't know where it’s coming from, but shutting it out was easy when you’re sober. Key word: sober.
You stand from your desk, making your way to your bed and laying next to him. Both of you face each other, easily getting comfortable, warmth radiating off his body. It feels oddly intimate and your thighs press together in order to suppress the lustful feeling that takes over your body. Your arm comes around to the back of his head, tugging on the fabric that covers his eyes. “Can I take it off?”
“Sure.”
He lifts his head, allowing you to pull on the knot until it becomes undone. You don’t know what you were expecting, maybe a scar or something, but you’re in awe of the blue orbs that make you feel like you were staring into infinity. They’re bloodshot and half lidded and it’s when one fact you really didn’t want to accept hits you.
Satoru Gojo is one of the prettiest men you’ve ever seen.
And he’s your step brother.
Uneasiness stirs in your lower tummy and you curse at whatever higher power that decided to give you this type of luck, but a hand on your hip trails to your back, pulling your closer and closer until your faces are at a dangerous distance. You can feel your cheeks becoming alarmingly hot and you hate that you can’t blame it on the weed. His hand comes up to your cheeks, his thumb stroking the soft skin. “Thought you wanted me to go away?”
“Changed my mind.” you whisper, eyes slowly closing, lips parting open as you wait for him to lean in and close the gap.
“Hmm? What’s this?” he sneers, causing your eyes to shoot open and your body to jolt up from your bed. The hazy feeling on your head still remains, making it hard to stand completely straight. “Get out.” you sternly demand, leaning back on your desk chair and pointing towards your door.
“Why should I? I don’t think you really want me to leave, babe.” He props his head on his hand, leaning his elbow onto your mattress.
“It’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong? We’re just two people hanging out on a bed. Unless you were trying to do something else, dirty girl.”
“I- I wasn’t! You’re my step brother!”
“Step brother.” He repeats, justifying your actions.
You’re shaking, guilt occupying your mind keeping you distracted. It’s the perfect time for Satoru to get comfortable in the space between your legs, pulling down your loose shorts and taking you by surprise. Before you have a chance to protest, his nose brushes against your sensitive core, making you let out a squeak. “W-We can’t do this!”
“Didn’t you want this?” he questions, looking up at you with wide eyes, “Wanted me to take care of this pretty little pussy, right?”
You know you should be refusing. You know you should be pushing him out your door. But it’s so hard when his pupils are dilated and the grip on the sides of your thighs feels so right. At this point, you’re not thinking, only nodding along to whatever he’s saying, anticipating his next actions.
“So wet.” He mumbles, pulling down the flimsy fabric and throwing it off somewhere in the room. He licks a thick stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking softly on the pearl while holding you down as the pleasure causes you to jolt upwards. He sucks and slurps like it’s his last meal, making your empty walls pulsate and little whines along with to leave your lips. Looking down, your eyes meet his, the lower half of his face immersed in your cunt.
The wet muscle fucks into you, curling and pressing against your walls, while his thumb rubs against your little clit. He hits all the right spots that make you squirm, pushing your legs wide open to see more of your ruined pussy. The wetness collects on his mouth, his chin, and his cheeks, filling him with a sick sense of satisfaction. “Such a whore, aren’t ya?” he pulls away to comment, but your fingers thread through his hair, pushing his head back where you need him most.
The action is assertive, something he usually hates dealing with. Though this time, he’s filled with a sick sense of pride at the fact that he was able to turn you, someone who seemed to hate him with a burning passion, into a moaning mess with just his mouth. He hums satisfactorily, sending vibrations into your sensitive core that make your thighs shaky.
You’re already cumming in an embarrassingly short time, gushing all over his face while he laps up all the juices you have to offer.
Before you can process anything else, his lips capture yours, lifting your body and dropping you onto your bed. You look at him with half lidded eyes, still sensitive from your last orgasm, while he pulls off his own clothes. His length rests on the inside of your thigh and he’s huge, so huge that it feels heavy against your skin and it scares you. “Satoru, I don’t think I can take you-”
“Shhh, princess,” he reassures you, “You started this. You have to take it.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to speak, taking the fabric of his blindfold and covering your eyes, tying a tight knot on the back of your head. This isn’t right, a voice in your head tells you, but you ignore it because Satoru treats you so well. He keeps you company, gives you some of his weed, eats your pussy without you having to ask him.
The only thing you can see is black and you whine. You so badly want to see Satoru’s pretty face, his chiseled body, his thick cock, but your thoughts are interrupted by the fat tip prodding at your tiny hole. “Too big..” your voice trails off as your mind is lifted, only the feeling of him splitting you in half remaining. You’ve never felt so full and it feels so dirty, yet your slick says otherwise, betraying any rational part that still resides in your body.
“I got you, Princess, don’t worry.” He slurs, drunk on the sensation of your snug walls. The stretch strings, whimpers spilling from your lips, but his cock hits every spot like no other. By the time he’s fully inside of you, it feels like he’s actually in your guts and it’s all intensified by the isolated feeling, not being able to see him at all. Every bite on your shoulder, every kiss on your open mouth, every delicious drag on your gummy walls is amplified.
You’re already cumming around him, a ring of cream forming on his cock as he gazes down at your bare body, wrapping his lips around a sensitive nipple. You squeal, your breath hitching at the same time you clamp down around his throbbing length. “Already? Such a sensitive little princess, aren’t you?” He mutters in your ear, your nails digging into his shoulders, piercing the pale skin. Tears spill from your eyes, flowing down the sides of your face.
His teeth sink into your shoulder and you want to tell him to stop, but the words don’t quite leave your lips. Only babbling noises accompanied by the wet sounds of your cunt and skin slapping against skin. He’s still pounding into your cervix at a relentless pace, in awe of how your slick drips down his balls and onto the white sheets. 
Every time he hits that sweet spot, there’s an odd feeling that forms, like you’re about to make a mess. And when your next orgasm washes over you in intense waves of euphoria, a clear liquid spurts from your cunny, coating his lower stomach and your inner thighs. “Who knew my little princess was such a messy girl?” he taunts, making your cheeks flush in embarrassment.
“S-shut up-”
“Don’t worry about it,” he leans in close, his lips dangerously close to your ear, “I’ll clean it all up.”
His smooth voice causes you to squeeze around him, almost like you don’t want him to ever leave your cunt, and it gets harder and harder for him to move. “Fuck, baby you’re so tight, need you to loosen up,” he mumbles, his own orgasm finally approaching, your little cunny milking him for all he’s worth. 
He’s rambling little praises, hot pleasure elevated by the high, his hips stuttering and his cock stuffing you to the brim with his warm seed. You both lay there, still intertwined and his body resting on top of yours.
“Ms. (L/N)! Did you have any questions about my lesson today?”
Your face drops in horror, your hand immediately pulling off the blindfold, as you push Satoru away from you and press the leave button on Zoom. A mix of your juices drop onto the floor and he chuckles, pulling you back to bed. “This isn’t over.”
He pins you back onto the mattress, his cock twitching at the sight of your leaking cunt, pulling your thighs until you’re close and pinning them to your chest. In one swift movement, his entire cock is shoved into your cunt, his balls slapping against the flesh of your ass with every thrust, fucking his cum back into your womb.
Gojo Satoru would never be satisfied.
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stcveskent · 3 years
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his comfort ; andy barber
warnings: fluff, some old trauma idk?
pairings: Andy Barber x Reader
requested by cevansmarvel
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you were working on some papers, when you heard your phone ring, you sighed and looked for your phone, and looked at the contact name, Andy💞
A huge smile on your face as you pressed the green button, and placed it on speaker.
"Hey Good Morning!!" His cheerful voice made you chuckle.
"Good Morning to you too, Andy, how are you doing?" You asked as you continued talking and doing your work at the same time.
"I'm great, now that i heard your voice." He flirted, typical Andy . You mocked him on this one and he laughed, at how funny you sounded. Andy's been your everything since you were 5. You went to same kindergarten, to same school years later, and your friendship never changed into anything. You were always with him, no matter what. Your mothers, both were great friends, and had kinda similar pasts, but other than Andy's dad, your father abandoned you and your mother because he didn't wanted both of you.
But Andy, was always there for you, and you were there for him too. He always loved seeing you, at his place, anywhere. During college, Andy met a girl, Laurie , who he eventually fell in love with and got married too. It hurt you a lot, because you were in love with him since your 6th grade, but never told him. Laurie, started being friends with you first, and then started her plan of stealing Andy from you.
When he got married, you've never felt that broken, ever in your life, and he forgot you later. You never married, never dated never did anything, because you felt that if you too, would get married, then you couldn't give him the love he deserves in your life.
Everything turned upside down, when on work you were talking to your colleagues while they randomly switched on the T.V and randomly pressed the news channel number, and the news stated something which shocked you.
Jacob, Andy and Laurie were displayed on the screen, and it showed some murder news, Jacob could ever do that? you were shocked, and you saw  Andy after millions of years....the look on his face showed how broken he looked, and you wanted to rush towards him right now. Your collegues started to call you, at how shocked you looked.
You walked out of your office, right then, and started driving towards his place, which he hasn't changed since the time he got married. You knocked on the door, feeling uneasy, but he needed you, and you too needed to see his face. Just a minute later, a sad Andy opened the door, and his eyes widened at the sight of yours.
"Y-y/n?" He stuttered, and you passed a small weak smile, and he hugged you. The warm feeling of his, hugging you, and your burying your face in his chest, just comforting for both of you.
"I-i missed you, so so much." He confessed, a smile over your face as you kept hugging you.
"I missed you too, Andy, so much." You replied and he smiles pressing a kiss on your forehead.
"Come in." He says and you walk in with him, you two got comfortable, and he started talking about how he felt, and started talking about Jacob's case, you felt bad for that man, he looked so broken, as he talked. He even told you about how him and Laurie were not the same anymore. Just then you heard Jacob and Laurie get in the house.
"Y/n? After so many years?!" Laurie asked and you smiled, and she hugged you before she excused herself to go upstairs, and there comes Jacob.
"I remember you." He said and you chuckled.
"Me too, Jay!! How are you doing?" You asked and he smiles before answering.
"good actually." He says and goes upstairs to his room, later, you and Andy talk about olden times..and then you leave the place..and try to always stay in contact with him, since then.
It was four years ago. Jacob, died in a car accident, and Laurie, its wasn't a surprise that they filed for a divorce and also, got married the next month with someone.
Since then you always visited Andy, and never left his side.
"Can you spend the night at my place? Movie nights just like the old days?" He asked and you smiled, only if he saw how happy he made you.
"Yes, i'll be there. See you tonight!" You said and he greets again before you hang up. Your smile wasn't leaving you the whole day, and everyone has noticed it. Well, you then got into shit load of work and concentrated, and got of work as soon as possible.
As soon as you stepped at your place, you knew what you were going to be looking like, natural. And so you did, and drove to his place.
You met Andy, and he gave you the biggest hugs as possible, and all your stress would just leave, and then he plays some series on the T.V. You two are focusing on how the two lovers are trying to tell how much they love each other, but don't know how to talk. A smile on your face as your head on the pillow.
"What're you smiling at?" He asked, getting closer, sipping, a glass of soft drink, because you're non alcoholic and he always backs away from alcohol near you.
"Two people, so much in love, can't express how they feel." You replied and he chuckles.
"Romantic, Y/n, i missed the girl." He confessed, and everytime he mentioned something like that would make you go red. He would do it often, lets say, Andy loves getting flirty with you.
"God that smile!" He says and you hit him playfully before pulling the blanket a little bit more closer, and he noticed it why you did that, and pulled you closer to him, that you were on top of him.
"What're you doing?" You asked as you laid on him comfortably, and he pulled the blanket on both of you.
"Giving you more warmth, you feel cold always." He says and you smile before concentrating on the scene again.
An hour later, you were asleep, soft snores made him smile, he was feeling something, he wasn't sure of and later, his head rested on yours, sleeping.
"You could've saved me, Dad, but you didn't."
"I tried my best! Jacob, i love you."
"You're a liar Dad, a big liar!" Jacob points his finger and Andy's tears falls, at the sight of his son, being so angry, that he couldn't solve it.
"I hate you Dad!"
"Jacob no—"
and just then Jacob is hit by a truck, making Andy scream in horror.
He wakes up gasping sweat on his forehead and he looks at you, sleeping peacefully. His hand on his chest, as he tries to calm himself down. He moves you gently and walks to the bathroom.
He stares in the mirror, he looked awful, he missed his son so much, he was having nightmares about him, only if Laurie didn't do that years ago.
You woke up, loss of warmth woke you up, and looked around, to see no one there, but you heard sniffles, and you knew whom it was.
You walked in the bedroom, as the bathroom door was open and he cried, burying his face in his hands, not gonna lie, that sight broke you into millions of pieces, and you stayed strong, walking in, lowering your voice, so it would be calming for him.
"Andy?" You softly called and he wiped his tears looking at you.
"You're awake? Sorry if i woke you—"
"You saw it again?" You asked and he nodded, tears forming in his eyes again, you felt worse. He hugged you, burying his face in your neck, you were his comfort, he never told anyone about.
"It's okay, its okay." You said as you rubbed his back.
"My son hates me." He says, stuttering.
"No! Andy that's not true at all, Jacob loves you, you were the best dad, Andy you and I both know what happened and what killed him. You knew his last words, he said he loves you, forever." You spoke, and every of that word was right, and he nods.
"But what if i could've save him? He would be with me—"
"You didn't know that, its not your fault, Jacob always loved his father, because his father never lost his trust in him. Jacob loved his Father, because he made him feel like he mattered in the world and no one else, Jacob loves his father very much." You said, and he nods before hugging you again.
"Thank you, you really are the best!" He spoke and kissed your cheek.
"I get that a lot, from you honestly." You said and he chuckled before you kiss his forehead. He loved these little small gestures you did. Now you brought him to bed, and he starts to talk to you, and you get involved in the conversation.
"Come on Andy, now you really need to sleep." You said and he nods, you stoof up before he questions.
"Hey where are you going?"
"Couch?"
"No we're sharing our bed, come on you'll get cold." He teased and you rolled your eyes.
"I want you to sleep comfortably, you won't be able to sleep with me."
"We've shared beds many times y/n, come on, I won't hurt you." He said making you laugh as you join him.
While talking both of you fall asleep, your head on his arm and his other arm, pulling you closer. Maybe if you and Andy were together this would be so normal for you, to feel it every day, but you felt like you lost your chance there, with the love of your life.
------
hope you like it 🥺💞
168 notes · View notes
twinklelilstarkey · 3 years
Note
“Please don’t go” with Freddie Andersen 🥺
"Please don't go" - Frederik Andersen
Words: 3.6k+
Type: ANGST
Warnings: A lot of crying from both Y/N and Freddie. Break up. Mentions of long distance relationships.
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It was a tough decision to end your relationship with Freddie.
You two had dated for a few months, after being extremely good friends for years. The whole relationship was a quite sudden decision, but right as it started, it felt so right that you felt stupid for not admitting your feelings sooner.
You feel like it’s fair to say that everything, absolutely everything, was just pure perfection when you were together. And that is why what you two shared will always be kept in your hearts:
All the smiles, all the laughter, all the hugs, all the kisses. The way one would always support the other on whatever decision. Or the way you two believed in one another, no matter what. 
There was just nothing bad about it. There were no arguments. If anything there was just disagreements, which if they did escalate, you two would fix it or just calm down in the same breath. 
Ending it, even though expected, was as painful as anything can possibly be. Both of you cried, constantly itching to comfort one other, feeling as helpless like never before.
You two sat opposites on your couch. Freddie looked at the ground, elbows over his knees as he listened to you, and you stared at a wall to contain your tears. Yet as soon as the first one escaped, you were done for.
Sobs in the middle of sentences, almost as if your heart was pleading your brain to stop you from putting an end to it. To what made you happy. 
An imaginary weight, which would always be lifted off when together, had now set over the two of you again. As well as the cold of familiar loneliness, and the horrible pain of heartbreak.
But it was for the best... right?
You got a huge offer for your job, some kind of promotion, which consisted of you moving to America.
It has been so many years since you started calling the Toronto streets your home, that you just know that this change will be unfamiliar and hard, yet the outcome always seems worth it. 
In your eyes, there’s absolutely no way for you to refuse it.
But for you to have it, you have to lose a lot too since work never makes it easy for anyone to take days off. Especially if those few days are to be in another country. Canada, in your case.
And sure, you had holidays and a week or two offered to you as some sort of vacation in a whole year of work. But not enough for you to try and leave everything behind you intact and act as if it will stay like that while you're away.
Whether you like it or not, strong friendships will become weak, the constant communication with your family will not even seem like half of what it used to be, and when it comes to relationships, trust will be tested. And god, even if you trust someone with your life, nothing can stop your brain from thinking of all awful possibilities. As well as your heart from hurting due to missing them so much.
Long-distance relationships are painful and you do not want to go through them. You would prefer to let the love of your life live his life with someone else, then let them wait for you for only God knows how much time.
That decision is the opposite way of looking at life selfishly. You prefer to go through an immense amount of pain if that means that the ones you love will be happy. Something Freddie always loved about you and sometimes would bring it up in conversations.
He also wouldn't let you refuse such an offer and you know it. The opportunity of you going after your dream was more important to him than anything, because it is your dream. He just didn't really know what would come with it.
He didn't know how much he would cry, how much he wouldn't want to open his eyes in the morning to see an empty bed, how much he would come to hate the silence in his home, or the absence of your perfume in his hoodies. It was a whole list of horrible things that he feels while following the same routine as before, yet all it gives him is pain. 
While you were packing your whole apartment to move far away, fighting off tears, Freddie had to work.
In morning skates, he would find himself skipping almost half his playlist when stretching because everything would remind him of you. He wouldn't look up at the clock in anticipation to go home. Or even be quick with getting off the ice when the last minute of work ends.
Sometimes he would sit on the bench for so long that the lights would eventually turn off around the arena. But he would just sit there. Head hung low with his eyes either closed or staring at nothing in front of him, letting his head run free.
Those weeks were rough. If rough could even come to describe half of what you two felt.
Today is your last day. The day to get on an airplane and not be sure when you're going to step foot into Canadian soil before Christmas. Or even see your loved ones before that too.
Your family and your friends have texted you a lot this morning, letting you know that they'll meet you at the airport. As well as asking how excited you feel.
You truly aren't even slightly excited to leave. All you feel is regret. And it's heavy and painfully stabbing its way into your back while closing its fists around your heart.
Why didn't you start dating way before all of this? Maybe that would've worked out in a way. You two could've argued and hated each other for what you've swarmed it could be forever. 
Or why did you have to meet him at all? Why didn't you ignore him like every other guy that talked to you on that specific bar? It would've made your friendship impossible and he would be nothing but a goalie you would see on the TV.
Getting up from bed today was just as bad to you as it was for Freddie. You two both dragged your feet into your separate bathrooms and undressed, pulling yourselves under the water of the shower. The water would soak you but neither of you moved to actually start doing anything else, you just stood there for a minute.
And with that, a loud sob jumped out of your mouth and you're back into your circle. Back to doing the same things with the same make-up-less face, your eyes swollen from tears and gaze fixed in nothing but the tiles of your floor.
Freddie didn't sob, but he isn't sure if he didn't cry either. If tears fell they left with the water falling from on top of him. The water that is trying to embrace him back to comfort, but failing miserably.
You throw the rest of your things inside your last bag and close the zipper slowly. Your gaze lifts up to the mirror of your bathroom and the reflected image breaks you as reality sets in.
You have to leave.
Walking around the apartment to check on everything was difficult as you continue to battle your emotions and throw all the memories to the back of your mind.
After that, you leave the key on the place you had previously planned with your landlord, and off you went into your Uber to the airport with your last belongings in your bags. Ready to leave home.
The driver was nice. He made small talk about where you were going and how he had gone there with his family last summer. He also must have sensed your uneasiness, so he decided highlight how nice the locals were and how everyone would always be ready to help you.
It relaxed you in a way, but not entirely as that wasn't even what was on your mind in the first place.
On the other hand, Freddie's late. Stuck in traffic to be more precise. His leg bounces with stress as he hides his face under his hat and hood of his shirt. All he could think of is how he won't get there in time.
His driver is silent, bobbing his head to the soft music playing on the radio while he stares at all the cars in front of them.
When taking a quick peek at the lines of cars in front of him, Freddie's starting to lose hope, no matter how hard he tries to be more optimistic.
He unlocks his phone as his fingers itch to text you, but he freezes at the picture of his home screen. He still doesn't have to heart to change anything he had with you, not even his god damn home screen.
A picture just a few weeks old, before you even had told him about the job offer. You were smiling at him behind the camera while holding a puppy up to your chest, eyes bright and wide with excitement. And your smile... just as breathtaking as heart-wrenching.
Freddie blinks harshly at the painful happy memory and looks ahead of him as the car moves ever so slightly. He has to at least say bye to you.
"You're going to love it, I know it!" Your mom says excitingly.
She squeezes you into another hug and you close your eyes at the feeling of her squeeze. Your hands are shaking for some unknown reason so you hesitate before wrapping your arms around her as well.
"You'll meet so many new people and learn so much new stuff."
She's starting to sound more excited than you at this point, yet you don't do anything but a short nod against her shoulder.
When you pull away, you look down at your phone, expecting to see any sort of notification... but there's nothing.
"Hey, I want a hug too." Your friend says over everyone's voices as she elbows her way to you.
You offer her a broken grin and she sadly smiles at you, throwing herself and her arms around you. 
Freddie almost rips the door open as the Uber parks right in front of the airport's main doors, not even realizing that he hasn’t acknowledged the driver verbally ever since he got inside the vehicle. 
His feet feel heavy and his legs tired, even though they have no reason to feel that way, yet he drags them into the building.
He walks fast-paced through the airport, looking through every group of people. His eyes scanning every single backpack, shirt, head of hair, beanie. Everything to find you.
You unwrap your arms from around another one of your friends and she smiles at you while cupping your face in her hands.
"If you ever need anything, I'll be on the first plane to you." She tells you and you grin at her.
"Promise?" You ask.
"I promise."
She kisses your nose and that's able to make your scowl break onto a smile, making everyone around you feel a sudden weight being lifted off the air around them, relief.
You adjust your backpack on your shoulder as you look around the group to see if you've hugged everyone and it sure seems like it. Your heart tightens in your chest and you take a deep breath.
"Are you ready to go?" Your mom asks you, laying her hand over your shoulder.
"I think so." You tell her.
She gives you a light squeeze in comfort and looks over behind her to see the line where you need to do your check-in.
"Well, I believe you just need to go over there," She starts, looking back at you, "and get your-"
She stops talking out of nowhere and you lift your gaze from your bag at her. She’s staring at something behind you.
Your heart quickens and at the sudden bit of hope runs through you. You look over your shoulder and your eyes meet Freddie walking towards you.
He's wearing grey sweatpants, a black hoodie, a hat over his head, and the hood of his shirt over it. If it wasn't for all the light coming from the large windows beside you, you wouldn't have noticed his reddened eyes and the broken look he's giving you.
Without any sort of hesitation, you take the backpack from your shoulder and lay it on the ground, taking steps towards him.
Freddie meets you halfway, wrapping his arms around you as yours move up to wrap around his neck and cling onto him. He holds you by your waist securely and lifts you in the air to hold you as close to him as possible.
A soft sob you’ve been holding in falls from your lips, sounding slightly muffled by his clothes, and you lay your head over his shoulder. Freddie closes his eyes to stop his tears from coming up again, snuggling his face close to you.
Your family and friends, when seeing and noticing you two, let sad smiles appear on their faces and decide to step aside, giving you two some space and privacy.
"I ran the whole airport to find you." He says, some humor deep in his tone.
A small smile lifts over your face as you cry your eyes out again, more out of relief than anything else.
One of his vacant hands lays on the back of your head, almost as it holding steady and his thumb caresses the nape of your neck, softly and carefully.
"I thought you weren't coming."
You pull your face away from his shoulder and take a look at him, locking gazes with him. Your hands rest over his shoulders and Freddie looks back just as directly.
"I got stuck in traffic." He explains.
Your hands come up to his bearded cheeks, a small pout influencing your forced smile, and your thumbs caress his skin.
His hand also rises up and he quickly wipes the tears off your cheeks.
“Don’t cry, come on.” He tries to tell you in a whisper over the sound of everyone’s loud voices around the airport.
“Sorry.” You tell him almost automatically, voice slightly cracking.
“No, don’t be sorry.” He corrects you. “I just don’t want to see you sad.”
You sniffle, your hands still over his cheeks, and give him a little nod, almost as your way to acknowledge his words since you’re not really trusting your voice right now.
Freddie kisses your palm and you lift your hands to wrap your arms around his neck again. He holds you as well and tries to swallow the ball of emotions at the back of his throat as your body shakes as you let out another overpowering small wave of silent sobs.
His eyes water ever so slightly and he blinks the tears away. 
“Do you feel ready to go?” He asks against the fabric of your hoodie, leaning his head closer against you.
“No.” You tell him.
Freddie swears his whole body reacted to your words. Maybe it was because you said it so close to his ear and that was the reason why he felt all those chills, but in a way, he knows it’s more than that.
He gives you more squeeze and your heart aches over what it could possibly mean. His hand rests over your leg and he leans forward to motion you to get back on the ground.
You do as requested but your body almost acts as if in denial when you order it to let go of him.
Freddie’s hands lay loosely by your waist, while your arms still hug his neck close to you, making him have to lean down over you.
“You still want to go, right?” He asks.
He doesn’t even know if he’s just checking on you or if he’s just hoping for an answer that would mean that you could go back home with him, but either way, he awaits it.
“I think so.” You try to say, but your voice falls in a whisper.
He forces your arms a bit away from him and you lift your head from his shoulder, sending him a look so broken that Freddie swears it broke his heart even further. He stares back into your eyes silently and observes your expression.
Without thinking twice, you close the small space between you two and lay your lips against his.
The sweet kiss is more than welcomed by Freddie, who can’t help but feel the small bit of hope course through his veins. The relief he felt over feeling you just hugging him again was able to destroy so many doubts in his head, and now that you’re kissing him, it’s like he’s falling in love all over again.
His hand rests in the back of your head, not letting you pull away just yet from the kiss he has been thinking about and needing for the past few weeks.
When you do pull away, you two just feel reality wash over you like a ice cold bucket of water. It’s heartbreaking to the point of you to want to gasp for air. 
You feel horrible.
Freddie looks back into your eyes as he pulls away further and he feels his eyes well up in tears again. And this time, it doesn’t go unnoticed.
Why do you have to go?
Your hands lay over his shoulders even when he stands upright and his hand continues rested over your head, against your hair, feeling it under his fingers.
He breaks his gaze from your eyes to check the time on the screen a few meters behind you. You follow his gaze, hands now sliding and resting over his chest, and your heart skips a beat at how the time flew since you had gotten there.
You don’t have much time left.
Your eyes go back to Freddie and he looks absolutely broken. And that is not making anything feel any easier for you.
“I love you.” You decide to tell him, “So much.”
He looks down at you and brings his hands back to your cheeks, holding your face.
“I love you too.” He answers.
His voice is so much lower and so much weaker than you’ve ever heard it before, it feels like a nightmare. 
It feels so unreal and so scary that it seems like something only the back of your mind can create to terrify you.
You grip onto his shirt and pull him down to you again, ignoring how the tears are starting to come up your eyes once more. He does as you request him to and this time doesn’t even even think twice before kissing you.
Your lips press against his as he lays various small pecks onto them while holding your wet cheeks in his larger hands.
“Please don’t go.” You hear him plead after a kiss.
You reopen your eyes and stare back at his. A tear has been able to escape his eyes and you’re quick to wipe it with the end of your sleeves.
“I need to go, Freddie.” You tell him, fighting off a sob. “I already signed everything.”
Frederik lays his forehead against yours and looks back onto you.
“Then I’ll wait for you.”
No.
You shake your head at him as a sob escapes your lips again and he fights off your denial with a nod.
“I will. I’ll wait for that contract to end, or I’ll retire early, I don’t care.” He tells you, feeling some more tears wet his face again, “We’ll be together again. I’ll visit you as many times as I can. I promise.”
You wipe his tears and quickly lean back to just pull him into another hug.
You cling onto his shirt, feeling more powerless than anything. 
The pain you’re feeling due to leaving is so strong that you almost don’t feel like yourself. Your body is shaking, you feel light headed, your chest is aching as your heart beats just as fast as your mind runs through all your options. 
You didn’t want it to be like this. For you to feel so sad and in so much pain. 
Freddie holds you back before you pull back, squeezing you close to him.
“Honey, it’s time to go.”
Your mom’s voice.
You quickly wipe your tears and lift your head from Freddie’s shoulder. He lets you go and a sudden rush of cold fills your body. The lack of his warmth is almost able to freeze you.
After that and a harsh and hard swallow of all your emotions, you pull your parents and friends into another set of hugs. Rushing back to Freddie for a last hug.
His hand is over your back, moving up and down to try and comfort you. You lay your wet cheek over his shirt, not caring if you wet it. And as soon as you look at him, your chin over his chest, he kisses your cheek.
A last squeeze later and you step back, offering everyone a small smile. Freddie grabs your backpack from the ground and gives it over to you. You take it silently and look up at everyone once more.
A small broken whisper moves past your lips as a small ‘bye’ to everyone that is looking at you and you soon turn on your heels, and... leave.
You don’t look back. Scared that if you do, you’re not able to keep going. And with that, Freddie stays back, standing right next to your family and friends.
Your mom has her hand over his back, comforting him just like he just did to you, in silence. And as soon as you’re out of the view from everyone’s eyes, she doesn’t hesitate to pull him into a hug.
“You’ll be together again. I’m sure of it.” She reassures him.
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I hate this, but it can’t stay on my drafts for longer than it already has. Hope you like it...?
199 notes · View notes
kodzukyan · 3 years
Text
two hearts, four broken pieces (now we’re unbreakable)
notes: happiest belated birthday to my grand king <3 lots of (long?) dialogue, long talks at the beach, kinda clunky, but i hope you enjoy :> song accompaniment recommendation: unbreakable by lauren dyson (carole & tuesday) & everything i need by skylar grey! also posted on ao3.
summary: you were there like the air when i felt like i was underwater. AU in which you have matching birthmarks on your heart as your soulmate. - oikawa/oc
wc: 6.2k
The clock ticks continually as you finish reviewing the club budget for the upcoming school year. As the last rays of the sun begin to dim into a darkening blue, the clock rings loudly, signaling the end of club activities. The other student council members routinely leave by five, and after a quick goodbye and wave, two hours pass by without you knowing. You glance at your watch, and you sigh softly as you see the shorthand reach seven.
There are still numbers that do not add up, but you suppose that has to wait. Getting up to stretch, you automatically head to the keys cabinet to see which keys are still missing. As usual, the keys to the volleyball gym have yet to be returned.
Like any other day, you sigh again. This is a rather normal occurrence as the volleyball team tends to stay as late as you do. Normally, you don't mind since it’s not a big deal - you’re usually still here to lock up after they leave. Today, however, you’re rather exhausted and would like to finish up your report and just go home. Putting on your white blazer and patting down the wrinkles of your tan skirt, you make certain you’re presentable before you head out of the room and towards the volleyball gym.
A resounding smack reverberates through the air before you even enter the gym. You knock twice on the gym doors, and when there is no answer, you open the doors soundlessly and enter the gym. The gym is unoccupied except for one lone player, making the echoes of each movement louder. 
He doesn’t notice you, and as you see him jump to hit a serve, you are in awe by the strength and impact of it as it lands. It astonishes you a little to discover the normally flirty eyes and teasing smiles with such intense concentration and seriousness. When you see a faint smile on his face as his serve lands within the lines of the court, you wonder if this is what he really is like. As he recovers another ball to try again, you clear your throat. This time, you catch his attention, somewhat.
“Sorry, Iwa-chan! You don’t have to wait for me. I’m almost done!” he calls out, eyes never leaving the court.
“Sorry, Oikawa-san. I am not Iwaizumi-san. While I do have to say I am extremely impressed with your tenacity, I am afraid it's late and time for you to go home,” you say politely with a perfectly practiced smile on your face.
The ball he tossed into the air previously drops straight down onto the floor and bounces as he hears your voice. He jerks his head towards you, and you almost want to laugh when you see his gaping mouth.
“Oh, Pres-chan! I wasn’t expecting you!” he recovers swiftly, a hand behind his head and his tongue sticking out humorously.
Ah, he’s back to his normal self.
“Apologies again,” you nod, a courteous smile never leaving your face, despite your slight disdain for your new nickname. You’ve learned it is easiest to deal with people with a perfect smile, lips upturned slightly at a 45-degree angle and eyes crinkled together lightly.
He stares at you intensely as you smile. While his eyes are analytical enough to press anyone under, it doesn’t bother you because you are used to such scrutiny.
“I’ll pack up! Pres-chan, wait for me! I’ll walk you home since it’s so late.” He finally softens in his stares and begins picking up the balls around the court.
“No need to worry about me, Oikawa-san. There are still some matters for me to finish up at the student council room,” you assure him courteously despite your mild annoyance at your stray strand of hair that fell out of your neat ponytail as you tuck it behind your ear.
“No, no! I insist! It’s so late, so it’s dangerous for cute girls like you, Pres-chan!” he protests as he continues cleaning.
You begin assisting him to pick up the balls and grab the mops to clean up the gym. The more hands there are, the faster you two get to leave. After cleaning up the gym and returning the keys to the student council room, you continue to decline his offer of walking you home. Being around him for a little less than 30 minutes has already tired you, but you find it more draining to talk him out of it so you just relent.
He accompanies you back to your house at your pace, constantly filling the silence with some sort of conversation. He seems to recognize your need for distance, so he keeps the conversation light, never diving in deeper than what you are willing to give. You respond as amiable as you could with this surface-level sort of conversation. This is comfortable, this is straightforward, this is not about who you are, so you find it easy to keep up your practiced smile and pleasantry. 
For what it’s worth, you can understand why he’s so popular. He’s attractive, and his personality is tolerable enough. But something about him is slightly unpleasant to you. You have an inkling of what it is, but you’re not ready to open the tightly sealed jar of emotions yet.
When you reach your stop and he bids you goodbye, you find yourself face to face with your cousin, who just squeals and questions you.
“Who is he?” she exclaims loudly, far too energetic for so late at night. “What if he is your soulmate?!”
You smile tersely, “He is just a classmate.”
She only looks at you in confusion. “Eh? You never know! Did you already see his mark?”
You flash her a practiced smile as you excuse yourself.
“No, I was born without one.” 
---
You like routine. This is something you’ve established for as long as you remember. If things are set in place, set in stone, then they are less likely to fall apart, to break.
So when walking home with Oikawa Tooru stays as a recurring part of your days, it makes you uneasy.
This is not part of your normal routine. But you suppose him returning the volleyball gym keys instead of you wrestling him for them is also not part of your normal routine.
“You know, for someone so smart, you’re kind of dumb."
You finally look up from your papers. Your pen still in hand, eyes in disbelief, and voice laced with venom as you hiss, “Excuse me?”
“Pres-chan, even I know when to stop. It's nearly 8 in the evening. Your body needs rest so you can function as efficiently as you always want to,” he rolls his eyes as he air-quotes the word efficiently. The volleyball gym keys jingle in his hand as he does so, and the sound of it aggravates your headache.
"This is coming from the one who stays behind two hours every day after club activity ends? Stop trying to preach what you don’t practice." Your grip on your pen tightens.
"I take Mondays off," he shrugs and offers a lopsided smile. There's a serious glint in his eyes despite his casual gestures.
You know he's right because the keys to the volleyball club always hang neatly and untouched every Monday. You know he's right when you finally let yourself feel the tiredness in your body. You know he's right when your headache finally catches up to you, but you simply cannot completely let go.
Maybe he sees your sagging shoulders and weary eyes, so he doesn't press the matter anymore. He hangs the clubroom keys in the cabinet before he walks over.
"You can rest, you know?"
You do, but you can't. Not when there are so many reports to fill out and papers to file, not when the club budgeting still isn't adding up, not when you have to be the you that your father created inside his head. Your brows cease together as your head throbs. Before you could respond, you feel a gentle pat on your head that brings you out of your thoughts.
"You're doing great, Pres-chan. Take a break," he speaks softly as he strokes your head.
You close your eyes at his touch, and you relish in his gentleness. For someone with such calloused hands, his touch is surprisingly tender. His voice sounds distant, and it feels like he's speaking past you, like he's speaking to whoever he sees in place of you. You think maybe this is what you needed anyways, this is what you want to hear even if he’s speaking to himself through you.
"Take a nap. I'll wake you up in 20 minutes," he ruffles your hair, messing up your perfectly tied ponytail.
You glance at him briefly, and his stupid smile irritates you. Maybe your headache is getting the better of you, maybe you’re just too tired, but you find yourself nodding as your shoulders finally drop in defeat. "10 minutes."
He laughs as he agrees, and when you finally lay your head down and close your eyes, you briefly feel the warmth of his jersey before you drift off.
When you wake, you find that Oikawa is sitting beside you, humming a soft tune as he scrolls on his phone. It takes you a moment to blink the sleep out of your eyes, and then it occurs to you that he never woke you up. Your eyes flutter to the clock, and when you see that it's a little past 9, you panic. You shoot instantly up from your seat, and your sudden movement leaves you dizzy as the world around you rapidly spins in color. Oikawa stops mid-hum as looks up from his phone before he secures your arm to steady you.
"Holy shit, I thought I told you to wake me up in 10 minutes. The papers need to be filed so we can work on the report due next week. I need to finish the reports, so I can turn them in on Friday. The budgeting excel -."
"Pres-chan." He cuts you off as he takes his hand off your arm and pokes your forehead. "I filed the papers on your desk. They go into their respective color-coded drawers, right? And the reports are just club updates, yeah? I arranged them by club type, so you can just sort through them later. Also, I put the volleyball club on top, so get to us first, okay?" he teases lightly and sticks his tongue out mischievously. "I didn't mess with your budgeting excel because it's not my place to, but don't you think you can ask your treasurer to explain their budgeting and money management so far?"
You blink at him in silence as you take in all the information he told you. You glance over at your desk and see the piles of loose paper gone. In place are new stacks of reports clipped together with the assortment of pastel paper clips you brought last month on a whim. Your surprise overtakes you as you let out a shaky breath. 
"Oh," you whisper, breath still quivering and voice slightly trembling. "Thank you."
You make a mental note to double-check everything again in the morning, just in case. That thought almost flies out of your head when you glance over, and the smile he flashes you is so bright you almost forget how to breathe.
"You're welcome."
When he accompanies you home that night, your steps feel a little lighter and your heart soars a little higher as you catch a glimpse of his profile, eyes fixated on the stars above as he tells you stories of constellations and aliens. 
---
While you’re not an avid volleyball fan, witnessing their defeat to Karasuno in such a close match, watching the light in their eyes dim into a quiet somber crush on your heart. When the match was over and they asked for the keys to the gym, you gave it to them without hesitation although the gym is supposed to be closed for cleaning later today.
Throughout the hours, you find yourself unable to completely focus on the paperwork in front of you. Your eyes keep trailing to the empty key slot where the gym keys are supposed to be, and your ears are fixated on each tick of the clock. Fidgeting with your pen, you finally give in and let out an uneven sigh when the clock rings eight. After smoothing out your skirt and blazer and retying your neat ponytail, you make your way to the gym.
As always, you knock on the doors before coming in. Only silence greets you.
The gym is vacant, and the cheering crowds and rest of the volleyball team members have long gone home after their spontaneous practice. Volleyballs are still scattered everywhere, the net is still up, but none of that matters as your eyes focus on the lone figure lingering in this solemn, almost crushing, silence.
His eyes are downcast, but you can tell from the hitching movement of his chest and the pooling puddle in his lap that he hasn't stopped crying. There is so much you want to tell him, but no words come to you. You’re not even sure if you’re in a position to say anything, but when you see him sitting there defeated and crying silently, a split image of yourself instead of him appears for a moment. The tightly sealed jar of emotions you’ve repeatedly tried to suppress opens.
"You don't have to be perfect, you know?" you tell him softly.
He doesn't look up and only clenches his fists.
You pat the creases out of your skirt as you squat down, hands gently touching his before clasping them firmly. The words burn in the back of your throat as your eyes tear because you know. You know this feeling, this absolutely crushing feeling when all you have is taken away and you’re just left with nothing. Maybe you’re projecting your failures onto him, maybe this is just what you wanted to hear, but you tell him all the same.
"You're so much more than just your losses," you whisper with gentle firmness, "This is not the end. Not for you. Not for your volleyball."
His calloused hands only grip yours tightly as his silent tears fall and roll off your skin.
"You are not your failures."
You barely detect the sound of him letting out a deep breath, but he squeezes your hands. It may not be enough, it may not be okay, but it’s a start.
As the two of you sit in silence, you can merely laugh at yourself for ever thinking Oikawa Tooru was anywhere close to perfect. He is incredibly fragile, human, and unlike a star that you thought you could never reach, he is here beside you. He sniffles every so often, and when every so often becomes more often than not, you laugh lightly and offer him a tissue.
He accepts it with a sniffle, and as he blows his nose, you could only crinkle your nose.
“Ew, you’re gross,” you lightly poke fun at him.
“I was going to say thank you, but I take it back now,” he gasps dramatically.
You roll your eyes as you offer him the rest of your tissues. “It’s fine. I don’t need your thanks. Just… feel better.”
“Thank you,” he whispers anyway as he props his head on yours.
---
You hear three knocks, two fast knocks, a pause as if it’s left for drastic effects, before the third knock, in a familiar rhythm. Instantly, the wooden doors of the student council room open, and brown hair and honey-colored eyes peek in.
“Wanna do something fun with me, Pres-chan?” Oikawa asks, eyes brilliant and smile equally mischievous.
"... Depends on what it is," you raise an eyebrow at him as you look up from finishing some preparations for university. You've substantially given up trying to advise him to wait before barging into the student council room.
He wiggles his eyebrows before he grins. “Let’s go to the rooftop!"
It takes you a moment to comprehend what he said because while it’s not that crazy, the rooftop is off-limits to students. Subsequently, it occurs to you that out of your three years here, you've under no circumstances done anything remotely rebellious. The adrenaline hits you, so you snatch the keys to the rooftop before heading out the door.
"Alright, let's go."
He freezes before his mouth drops and gasps dramatically. "Heh, Pres-chan, looks like you really aren't that much of a good girl after all."
You roll your eyes at him, and a soft smile finds a way to your face before you walk out. "Hurry up, or I'm leaving you behind."
"Wait for me!!" You hear the scampering footsteps, and you swear you can hear his pout.
This is the first time you’ve ever been on the rooftop, you think, as you finally unlock the door and step out into the sun. It’s a little past seven, and you think the sun is going to set soon as it slowly fades behind the Miyagi skylines in bursts of orange. You close your eyes as the wind blows, almost as if it’s greeting you. You can see why people skip all the time to be up here. 
“Feels pretty good, huh?” Oikawa stands beside you as the wind tousles his hair and the sun kisses his skin. He looks radiant under the sunlight, and you merely hope he doesn’t hear the fluttering of your heart.
“Yeah,” you nod along, “I… I wish I came up here earlier.
Honey brown eyes so deep and warm, staring directly at you, and there is something that you’re terrified to name. You always thought love was something dramatic, once in a lifetime, and it just hits you like a train out of nowhere. With Oikawa Tooru, it feels more like learning to walk - steadily, one step after another, until he becomes a part of your natural routine.
You can see the longing and something akin to love in his eyes, but you know it's not love. You know when he loves, he loves with all his being. Right now, there is something, but it's not love because he sees not only you but also past you. He sees the light at the end of the tunnel, the future where he's standing on a volleyball court with his name on the back of a national team jersey. He sees the passion and the love he has for volleyball beyond you, and even when he's here in the moment, even when he likes you, he sees something greater.
Your heart clenches because you want it to be you, you want you, this to be enough. But you know he is meant for something so much greater. He is meant for the stage lights of an international court, living and thriving with so much passion and love for the sport he dedicates his life to. He is unmeant to be here, to be held back by something called love.
You try ignoring the way his eyes soften when he looks at you, try ignoring the way his eyes linger at your lips as if he wants to kiss you. You try ignoring your yearning heart when all you can hear in your head is him telling you he's going to Argentina.
“You’re going to do great in Argentina.” You swallow the lump in your throat and interlace your own fingers together to prevent yourself from reaching out and holding his hand.
He blinks, and slowly retracts his extended hand, and swallows the words he wants to tell you. “Oh, uhm,” he hesitates. “Geez, Pres-chan! Don’t make it sound like we’re never going to see each other again!” he pouts dramatically, voice creaking just ever so slightly and eyes lacking the playful glint in it. “We’ll see each other again.”
He sounds hesitant, almost as if he’s doubtful if he can uphold the words of a promise. He doesn’t deserve to be held back by a promise.
You let him go.
It’s funny because you don’t even think he is yours to let go, but you smile anyway as you catch his unfaltering eyes back on the sunset. He is the one who teaches you a little bit about being okay, the one who first opens the tightly sealed jar and lets a gale of fresh air into your world.
“Thank you,” you tell him softly. Your hand finds its way to him, fingertips ghosting over his hand almost as if you didn’t just reject his moments ago.
The wind blows softly, and the blooming cherry blossoms flutter as he blinks in confusion before he smiles crookedly too. In a world where you are braver, you would have voiced the three words lingering on your mind instead of the two that came out, and your lips would have been on his instead of settling for a ghost of a touch of hands. But in this world, this is all you can do, all you can intend for.
Instead, the two of you continue to stand in silence, sharing this one last moment where he can stand on both legs without leaning to his left to accommodate for his right knee, where you can laugh in a loose smile and ruffled hair without feeling the need to fix them. It’s satisfactory, you tell yourself, this is enough.
While he may not be your soulmate, while you have no soulmate mark, it hurts all the same. Your heart still breaks as the falling sunlight fades into the deep indigo skies, as he waves goodnight, as you watch him go with the world on his shoulders and wings on his back. The hollowness in your chest aches, and you wonder if this is what heartbreak feels like.
---
“Funny, huh? Out of all the people in the world, out of all the places in the world, I end up meeting you on an Argentinian beach, thousands of miles away from home,” you stifle your laughter softly.
The hot summer wind blows into your unbound hair, bringing grains of sand and the scent of the ocean. The shore calls you, and you find yourself wiggling your toes in the clear waters. As you look to the horizon, you find that the crystalline waters contrast vividly against the soft pinks and oranges of the fading sun.  It’s so surreal, and it makes you momentarily forget that there are responsibilities, people waiting for you back at home. 
The faint rustling and the loud splash of water wake you from your trance, and you find Oikawa Tooru running into the waters carefreely. His pants are roughly rolled up just barely above the water level. His eyes are tender and his smile is wide as he holds his hand out to you.
“Come on, Pres-chan,” he gestures his hand in front of you again. “The water feels really nice!”
You take a moment to breathe because he looks beautiful with his brown eyes twinkling mischievously and lips upturned jovially and carefreely against the fleeting sunset. You smile once more, lips upturn softly instead of the traditional 45 degrees, as the last strands of your hair frees from your hair tie. 
You briefly remember being eighteen, standing on the rooftop of your high school. His hand is extended, but you were too afraid to take it, too afraid to become a burden. You blink once and think maybe this time, he should have a say in his own decisions instead of you selfishly making it for him. You take his hand, hesitantly and shyly, as you take your first steps into the water.
Time stills as your eyes meet his brown ones. He stares at you dumbfoundedly, and you are unsure if the pinks of his cheeks are from you or the sunset.
“You look happier,” he finally comments softly, “I’m glad.”
Now it’s your turn to stare at him dumbfoundedly. Your hand covers a slight laugh that breaks from your lips. You take in his wind-tousled chestnut hair and eyes closed from his laughter, his muscular body that no longer tends to lean on his left side absentmindedly to protect his right knee, and you realize he is more genuine, more candid, more Oikawa Tooru than the one you’ve known since high school.
“You do too.”
”Wanna grab drinks after?” Oikawa asks nonchalantly as the two of you finally make your way out of the water and sit under the broad umbrella from the blazing sun. His long legs are stretched out as he leans back, hands propping him up.
Despite his relaxed posture and even voice, you see his fingers wiggling in the sand and the pinks peeking on his cheeks and the tip of his ears. It almost makes you laugh because you’re certain you can reckon on one hand how many times Oikawa Tooru seems so timid.
“I mean”- he continues, taking your silence as a declination, -“just as friends, to catch up, you know? How have you been? Oh! What about your cousin? Didn’t she -”
“Okay,” you laugh lightly. “I’d be happy to.”
“-Oh, now that I think about it, what did you end up doing- wait -” he pauses mid-sentence as he stares at you bewilderedly, ”-okay?”
“Yes,” you laugh again, much louder and without restraint. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeats after you again.
“Yes, okay.” You nod.
The smile he gives you is so bright it outshines the sun.
---
"So, how are you?" he asks again once you're seated beside him, a beer in hand and dusk in view.
You offered a general answer earlier, and it started a train of small talk that never breaches past the surface. It reminds you of high school and leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth. 
The beach in Argentina is always full of life, but it's quieter now. Maybe it's the fact that it's getting late or the fact that you're on your third beer already, all you can focus on is the man beside you.
Maybe you're more honest now too because he looks like he wants to ask more. (Like he asks “how are you?” when all his eyes are saying is “I love you.”)
"I threw my phone into the ocean and got in a screaming match with my dad," you tell him honestly.
You can feel his gaze on you as he lets out a soft hum to let you know he's listening. It used to unnerve you whenever he looks at you like that, whenever he makes you feel so transparent. Now, it makes you smile because he always makes you feel so seen.
"He told me to be all these things that I am not because he wanted me to have a good life. I know his intentions and know it makes him happy. But I was so fed up with just constantly not being enough for who he wanted me to be, so I told him I just wanted to be his daughter."
You don't realize your hands are shaking until you feel his hands on yours. He pulls the beer bottle out of your hands before he places them into his own and squeezes them.
"And what did he say?" he asks softly, recalling all the late nights and the mask you put on at school in the name of a shadow that always looms over you. He remembers the instant drop of your face whenever your father comes up, when the words duty and filial piety become a burden instead of pride on your shoulders.
"He just kinda stared at me and stopped talking. I think it didn't occur to him that this was a thought in my head. I cried a lot." You squeeze his hands back.
"Yeah, I'm glad you gave him a piece of your mind, though." His voice is gentle as his thumb brushes over your knuckles.
"He cut me fruit after, so I think we're okay," you laugh awkwardly as you flash him a smile. "I think I'm okay."
He smiles too when he notices your smile is a lot freer now, that the corners of your lips are no longer locked in place and forced in front of fake pleasantries. Maybe he's freer now too, he thinks as he looks at the brightly lit skies, as he continues his volleyball journey, feeling so fulfilled despite being thousands of miles away from home. 
"I used to think I wasn't good enough," he starts honestly with a small laugh. "No matter how hard I work, I could never be enough compared to geniuses who just get it." 
“I used to think you were so put together when I initially met you, like the universe's spotlight was meant for you,” you hum. “Until I realized you were the reason why the volleyball gym keys were never returned on time.”
He laughs light-heartedly. “Hey, I had an image to keep up, okay?”
You tuck in your knees and prop your head on top of them, eyes never leaving his, hand still in his. “I think I realized you were a lot more reachable, human even, when I saw you broke down after losing to Karasuno our third year.”
“Are you deriving comfort in my pain? How rude!” He pouts. “But I somewhat get it. I used to think you were super snobby with your fake smiles and your super tight ponytail. I used to think you were going to be balding early!”
“You were the one who habitually had a hoard of fangirls around you, and nobody could get anyplace in the hallways!” You retort with a fond smile.
Memories of high school seem so long ago, and as you recall each one, you see the light in his eyes waning and waxing with the tides. The feelings you try so hard to bury, the ones you try to let go of the day he set off to Argentina bubble through your chest and flow onto your lips.
"I think I was too scared to love you," you finally whisper as the moon rises and the waves kiss the shore.
He stares at you and blinks once, twice, before he breathes a soft, “Oh.”
You finally take your eyes off him, hand finally wiggling its way out of his to encase yourself as you bury your face in your knees. “I wanted to be enough. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t for my dad, wasn’t for myself, wasn’t for you.”
He leans closer and brushes a strand of loose hair off your face. “You are always enough. For your dad, for yourself,” he pauses and smiles gently, “And you are more than enough for me.”
You peek at him through your lashes. The ocean waves drown out the sound of your heartbeat as he stares at you earnestly, eyes honest and lips so, so close.
“I didn’t want you to regret me,” you whisper, voice barely audible, “I didn’t want to be someone who holds you back from your dreams. I didn’t want to be just temporary until you find your soulmate.”
His eyes widen, but he persists steadily close. “I don’t think I could ever regret you. My dreams will always be the national court, but you being there, by my side, would be the best part of it.”
He takes a breath as he reaches for your hand, much like he did at the rooftop of your high school.
“I was born without a soulmate mark. Initially, I was so upset because I thought no one would love me unconditionally like a soulmate is supposed to. But honestly, fuck that. Fuck soulmates. Fuck some pre-destined person supposedly made for you because no one is. We are in control of our own fate, and we are in control of whom we choose to love. And I like you Pres-chan. I have since I was eighteen and dumb. I still like you now at twenty and still a little dumb. But no matter how old I am, how old I will be, it’s always you. I will always choose to love you.”
You breathe in sharply as you listen to his words, every sound and syllable clear as his eyes as he looks at you, only you. There is only truth in his words, and as your eyes wander from his to his hand and back to his eyes, the overwhelming amount of sincerity overwhelms you. 
Oikawa Tooru has always been dedicated in all that he does, and the thought that he is offering you that very same dedicated heart of his becomes a consuming warmth in your chest. The heat of your fluttering heart radiates off your cheeks, and the feeling that has been blossoming in your heart blooms into an indescribable softness and affection.
Love has perpetually been something out of reach, something you witness in movies and read in books, something you witness in your friends and cousin. But love is here now, in the form of Oikawa Tooru with his hands stretched out for you to take, with his heart bare and exposed for you to have.
“I was born without a soulmate mark too. I used to hate it because it felt like it was another thing I was lacking in. I wasn’t even enough to have a soulmate,” you breathe out, eyes on the ocean that reflects on the moonlight. The last bits of the tightly sealed jar of emotions you’ve kept finally flows out.
“But if soulmates do exist, I would like to think they are made. Not in the sense that they are made for each other, because fuck destiny, but in the sense that we wake up every morning and choose who fits us and how they fit. And whatever this is we have between us, we forged it,” you start firmly as you place your hand in his, eyes meeting his. The last bit of bitterness flows into the sea, and the only thing that remains at the bottom of this jar is hope.
“I like you too, Oikawa. I have since I was eighteen and smart. I still do at twenty and moderately smarter but still trying to figure life out. And I don’t know what the future holds or even what I’m doing to do from here on, but I want it to be you.”
“I want it to be you too. I can’t promise you the world or where our lives will lead from here onwards. What I can promise is I will choose you, from the moment I wake up until the moment I sleep, from now until the end of the ocean.”
A promise, his truth. While the unknown horrifies you, this is enough. You smile as you squeeze his hand. When he grins and squeezes your hand back, you think maybe love is irrevocably here to stay.
---
“What were you before you met me?” He takes one of your hands in his and uses his other in an attempt to tame your unconstrained hair against the wind. He pouts when he finds that your hair just blows wildly and gives up, but he smiles, nonetheless, when he hears your unrestrained laughter.
You shake your hair out of your face and turn to face him, hair blowing wildly and freely with the wind. You tear your eyes away from slow waves of the ocean, illuminated by the brilliant reds and oranges of the setting sun, and you find yourself more captivated by glowing brown eyes than you ever could by the dazzling colors of the horizon. 
You stare briefly at him, looking into his eyes and seeing his relentless soul, and the butterflies in your stomach flutter like they did the very first time, feeling absolutely starstruck. You hum softly as you turn back to the peaceful waves and remember the tight ponytails and painted smiles of your high school days. You remember the weight on your shoulders to become someone ideal and the heaviness on your heart to become a you that only lives to make your father proud.
“I think... I was drowning,” you answer almost inaudibly but honestly, both hands gripping his tightly as if you’re holding a lifeline.
He pauses for a moment before he squeezes your hands again. He whispers then, reluctantly and almost fearfully, “And what are you now?”
You turn to meet his eyes. You recall him at seventeen and feeling annoyed because he mirrored every bit of the pretense you put up in all the undesirable ways. But you see him now, twenty and free of the inferiority and limitations he places on himself, and you wonder if you also look older, wiser, happier because you are now the you you want to be.
You have always associated him with air because he is terrible and unpredictable, destructive and clear, focused and silent. But he is also comforting and calm, like an invisible force, who's consistently going and going, with unhindered sight. He is always persistently here and cannot be turned away, and before long, you find yourself not knowing what to do without it.
At the moment, you find the last bits of the riptides that pull you under the waters finally cease, and as you enjoy the scent of the salty ocean and hear the lull of the gentle waves, you think you can finally breathe freely and vivaciously.
Slowly, you take a hand to trace the outline of the miniature matching sun tattooed on his chest, where the soulmate mark is supposed to appear. You smile undoubtedly and wholeheartedly.
“Water.”
---
you’re what i need cause now i can breathe; you put the beat in my heart. somehow we fit together, and now we’re unbreakable. 
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youbloodymadgenius · 3 years
Text
Angel’s Touch (Modern!Ivar x reader)
A/N: This is my long overdue contribution to @rosepetals-flyingbirds‘ challenge. I’m sorry it took me so long, babe 💖 I’ve been going through a lot lately (including the loss of a loved one) and I wasn’t in the mood to write 😔
The prompt, as usual, is in bold.
Thanks to the lovely @geekandbooknerd for beta reading this for me 🌺
Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊
The gif belongs to @therealcalicali 💐
Summary: Ivar's always been very secretive when it comes to his legs. How is he going to react when you tell him you want to know all of him?
Warnings: angst; fluff at the end; Ivar’s insecurities; soft and vulnerable Ivar.
Words: 4600
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"I'm coming!" you shout enthusiastically, wrapping a soft towel around your body before closing the bathroom door behind you. 
 Wincing at your words, Ivar hastily hides his legs under the comforter. "That was a close one…", he mumbles while breathing a sigh of relief. Deep down, he knows he's not doing the right thing. Avoiding the problem will not make it go away.
 He can't help himself, though. He still has nightmares about that awful night with Margrethe. It was years ago, yet memories of her disgusted look as well as her eyes full of pity still haunt his nights, vivid and humiliating. 
He doesn't want to go through that again. It would be unbearable and painful, much worse than the dull ache he's used to enduring every day. No, he definitely can't relive it. Shuddering at this thought, Ivar squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his fists tight. 
 He won't allow it. He can't. Because he's not sure he can get over it again. After Margrethe, he had been broken – more broken than his broken bones – for so long. It had taken him years of therapy to stop being disgusted by himself, to stop hating himself for what he was. A freak. It had taken him years to endure looking at himself in a mirror. And it had taken him years to imagine sharing a bed with a woman again. 
 Oh, of course, he had fucked every so often. He needed it after the complete fiasco with Margrethe. He had to prove himself that he could… But it had always been in a hurry, and with random, uninteresting women. Till you…
 You. You're not random, and definitely not uninteresting. You're beautiful and smart, patient and funny, warmhearted and caring but never overbearing. You're… perfect, he thinks, and it scares him as much as it makes him shiver with excitement. On top of that, so far you don't seem bothered by his legs and he wants to keep it that way. 
 His legs. His fucking legs. The averted elephant in the room. Well, averted… more or less. Because if you've never seen them, you know the braces, the crutches, the uneven gait and he's pretty sure you've figured out his pain. But you two never talk about them. He knows that you understood from the beginning that they were, they are a major issue for him. You're smart enough for that. 
 Yet, you never bring them up and he couldn't be more grateful. He's very aware that he can't keep going like this for long. But he doesn't know how to address what is, to him, a huge matter of concern. He's afraid you'll go away as soon as you realize how damaged his legs are, how crippled he really is. He doesn't want to lose you. He can't. That would be insufferable. And he knows exactly why. It's not just that he likes you, that sex is great, and that you're fun to be around, no… He's helplessly falling in love with you. It may be terrifying, but it's no less true.
 That's why he does what he does. That's why he's always hurrying up, hiding, avoiding. It doesn't matter if it leads sometimes to awkward situations. It doesn't matter if you're not fooled. All that matters is that you don't see his legs; not for a long time anyway; and most preferably never.
 Inhaling deeply, Ivar slips his hands under the comforter, rubs his scrawny, bony, twisted thighs, feeling their scarred skin and grunting in disgust. He knows he's wrong, he knows he's not going anywhere, but he can't help. He can't risk losing you. 
 ***
 More sad than irritated, you hardly stifle a sigh as you enter the room. Once again, Ivar is unsurprisingly already in bed, his fluffy comforter keeping his legs out of sight. 
 His legs… A fucking huge elephant in the room… It's amazing – not in a good way – how something that's never addressed can take up so much space.  
 The truth is, you know a lot about them. Being a son of Ragnar, the man who rules Scandinavia – at least economically but surely politically too, with friends in the right places and enough money to corrupt them – didn't allow Ivar to grow up in the shadow. Ivar's life therefore has always been on display, making headlines more often than not. So you know about his disease and its inherent struggles, about the surgeries and about the pain – well, now you even witness it sometimes, and the way he always tries to hide it is heartwrenching. 
 You know more than you'd like to since you even know about his supposed failing sex life, that bitch whose name you've long forgotten having told her story to everyone around. It doesn't matter though, as you can testify that Ivar's cock is far from dysfunctional. 
 Anyway, if you know a lot – truths or lies – about his condition and about his legs, you don't know them. And you're aware it has to change. You just don't know how. You can't be too straightforward or Ivar will close up on you. Yet you can't let things go on like this for too long, because it's unhealthy. And an unhealthy relationship with Ivar is the last thing you want, both for his and your sake. 
 Somehow always in your mind, his legs make things awkward. Sex is great, but could even be better, for they prevent you from being spontaneous. The last thing you want is to make Ivar, the man you're falling in love with, uncomfortable. So, you don't speak about them because you can feel he doesn't want to speak about them. You don't look at them because his tight jaw is unmistakable each time your eyes wander to his lower body. You do your best never to touch them, which isn't easy when you share his bed. In short, most of the time you act as if they don't exist. And this has got to stop. 
 You can't let this unspoken thing continue to grow between the two of you or it will end up becoming a problem that will eat you up, you do know it with utmost certainty. You won't allow it. You can't. Ivar is important to you, to say the least, and you're pretty sure he reciprocates your feelings. You see it in his huge blue eyes that sparkle each time he looks at you; you hear it in the softness of his tone each time he talks to you. 
 So yeah, the whole situation annoys you. It doesn't mean that his legs annoy you. They don't. You won't lie, you're a little nervous about them. How could you not, given how sensitive a subject they are? Will you say the right thing? Do the right thing? Will you hurt Ivar unwillingly? Just thinking about it, about them, makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells. Ivar is being very touchy when it comes to them, to those-legs-we-mustn't-talk-about, it seems to you that the slightest word could ruin everything. And you don't want that. Gods, you don't. Yet, you're not sure how to handle well something that important.
  That's the point. His legs are that important. They shouldn't be. They shouldn't matter. They don't matter. Of course, you're not stupid. Ivar has a disability, there's no denying it. But it doesn't define him, right? What defines him is his outstanding intelligence, his sharp mind, and his deadpan, ironic humour. And well, if you're being honest, his ridiculous handsomeness too… It might sound shallow, but… who cares?  
 Anyway, enough is enough. Things must change and you're sure Ivar won't be the one initiating the change. It leaves you no choice, you know it. Your heart hammering in your chest, you rub your sweaty palms together before inhaling deeply. That's it. Let it be done. The sooner the better.  
 ***
 "Are you not coming?" Ivar's blue eyes are scrutinizing you from under furrowed brows as you scrabble around in your small overnight bag, as an idea has just popped into your head.
 Glancing at him over your shoulder, you barely nod while swallowing the lump in your throat. "Of course I am, give me a minute." You reply after a while, sounding more confident than you feel. But you know it's a good idea. It could be the first step. It could work. It has to work. 
 Your hands are shaking but your heart is filled with hope when you eventually find what you were looking for. "Here it is.", you mutter, a tentative smile playing on your lips as you turn towards your lover, who looks at the silk scarf in your hand with a mischievous grin. 
 "What is it on your naughty mind?" He asks playfully, tilting his head in his very own way, the one that melts your heart each and every time. "You want to blindfold me, Y/N?" His low, deep voice sends shivers down your spine. "Or maybe you'd rather be blindfolded? It's up to you, I'm totally on board with either one." He swallows heavily, and when he licks his upper lip and then the lower in a slow-moving and sensual motion, a familiar warmth spreads in your lower belly. 
  Of course, he had to misread the situation. And you, you're so easily, pathetically flustered! Closing your eyes to push away any distracting thoughts, you inhale deeply while just shaking your head no as you don't trust yourself to speak right now. 
 Raising a brow, Ivar gives you a questioning look. "So, what is it about, then?" His tone is more serious now, you can almost feel a hint of uneasiness in his voice as if a part of his brain already suspects what's in your mind. 
 "Actually, I want to be blindfolded, but not to do what you're thinking about." You explain, shyly lowering your gaze. "I'd like to try something." You speak in a whisper but with honesty, fidgeting with the little silver Mjölnir – a gift from Ivar – you wear around your neck. "If it's okay with you." You add, your shaky voice giving away your nervousness. 
 Confused, Ivar looks at you with knitted brows. Since you don't want to explain further – because you're sure that if you told him of your plan, he would deny you – you just climb on the bed, kneel next to him and bring the scarf to your face, wrapping it around your head and over your eyes before tying it in the back with a tight knot. 
 Being blinded like that, even if it's of your own volition, is quite unsettling, you must say. You feel weirdly exposed, vulnerable, in your tiny shorts and a tank top and you have to inhale and exhale slowly several times in order to calm your nerves. 
 Uncertain, Ivar keeps quiet, his breathing just a little bit shorter than usual. "Y/N?" His hesitant voice startles you and you swallow, biting your inner cheek. 
 You know you have to take action, the sooner the better. So you fumble blindly on the bed and as you find Ivar's hand, you bring it to your mouth, kissing each knuckle one after the other while your free hand slips under the comforter. 
 His breath hitches, yet Ivar doesn't react, doesn't stop you, as you slowly lift the comforter, pulling it away. But when your fingers graze what you think is his thigh, he grabs your wrist, wrapping his fingers around it. 
 "What…" Ivar stutters, his grip tight enough to bruise your delicate skin, "… What are you doing, Y/N?" His voice, barely audible, is nothing more than a shaky whisper that wrings your heart. 
 Yet, you won't back down. "Let me, Ivar, please…" You beg softly, but to no avail. Ivar rushes his words, panic coursing through his veins. "Stop Y/N! Don't, please don't, I… They are… They are ugly. I… I can't." That's it. He can't. Just thinking of you exposing his disgusting legs, he feels like throwing up. He can't. 
 Hearing your lover so upset, and maybe even close to tears, is heartbreaking. Raising your free hand, you find his arm, then his shoulder, his neck, and finally his face, which you cup tenderly. 
 "You do know I won't see them, don't you?" You ask carefully, peppering light kisses along his jaw while trying to slow down the frantic pace of your own heart. 
 Ivar doesn't miss a beat, pushing you away gently but very firmly. "You don't need your sight to feel how hideous they are." Almost convinced to give up by his broken voice, you struggle to keep in mind that postponing the problem can't be a solution. 
 "That's what you think about them, how you see them, Ivar, that's not what they are." Your tone soft and soothing, you're trying to convey how much you care. "And it's certainly not how I'm going to see or to feel them."
 "How would you know?" You can tell that he shifts in the bed to sit upright, his back against the headboard. His fingers still around your wrist, you have to stifle a hiss of pain when he changes position. 
 "Because they are a part of you. Nothing from you, or about you, can be ugly." You wince, realizing that you've just opened up to him more than you would have liked. But well, speaking your mind isn't a bad thing, right? 
 As Ivar, dumbstruck, keeps quiet, you decide to strike the iron while it's hot. Once again finding his cheek, your thumb lightly strokes it while you speak. "Let me touch them, Ivar…"
 You know him well enough to be sure that right now, a storm is clouding his features. But as his breathing starts to quicken and as his grip on your wrist loosens, you understand that he's more frightened than angry. "Please…" You plead, aiming blindly a reassuring smile in his direction. 
 "But… Wh… Why?" He's never felt so scared, not even with Margrethe. Even if the rational part of him knows you're right, he won't give up yet, not without fighting. "Why… Why does it have to be? You don't need to touch those fucking…", swallowing, he closes his eyes briefly, "… you don't need to touch my legs, Y/N. You don't. We could just go on like this, as we have done up to now. Believe me, it will be better like that."
 "No, it won't." You sigh, shaking your head. Ivar's distress may break your heart, yet you're more and more convinced that this is the right thing to do. "Let me touch them, Ivar, please…" You simply repeat, your free hand still on his cheek.
 "Why… Why is it so important to you?" As soon as the words escape his lips, he regrets them, wishes he could take them back. He should have said no. Why didn't he say no? Slapping himself internally, he rolls his eyes, annoyed as much by his own stupidity as by your stubbornness. 
 You answer in a sweet whisper, placing your hand on his chest. He's sure you can feel the crazy thumping of his heart under your palm. "Because your legs are a part of you, and I want to know everything about you. Will you let me, Ivar?"
 Ivar, deeply moved by your words, is eager to believe them. But on the other hand, it's so… frightening; unsettling. Not used to being so vulnerable in front of someone, he feels like he's being ripped apart, and gods, he hates it! "I… I don't know… I'm… not sure…" He eventually stammers almost unwillingly, more or less denying you once more, yet his resolution starts to falter, and he knows you can hear it. 
 Even more surprising, it's as if his body betrayed him, his fingers finally releasing your wrist. As you gasp, astonished and pleased, he ponders for a few moments before deciding – if deciding something against what seems to be your own will is even a thing – he won't stop you. He knows he could, but he also knows you're right. So, conflicted and petrified with fear, he just waves his hand, wiggling his fingers, and mumbles under his breath a faint "go ahead" that you almost miss.
 "Is that a 'yes', Ivar?" Full of hope and with what you're sure is a beaming smile on your lips, you intertwine your fidgeting fingers and put your hands on your lap, anxiously awaiting his reply. 
 His jaw clenched, Ivar just nods. At first, he doesn't realize that you can't see him. As the silence drags on, he furrows his brows, confused, before breathing a hesitant answer. "Yeahhh…" Digging his fingernails into his palms, he waits for your next move, almost like someone awaiting a death sentence.
 Sensing his anxiousness, you raise your hands and then move them very slowly, willing to give Ivar time to stop you if he needs to. Since he doesn't utter a word nor grab your wrists, you keep going, your fingers grazing what surely is his lower belly before finding the hem of his cotton boxer shorts. 
 Intensely aware of the importance of the moment, you can't help but swallow loudly, your stomach tied in knots. You started all this, and even if you're still not sure if it's the right time – will there ever be a right time for this? – you have to keep going. But you're scared. What if it'll push Ivar over the edge? What if it is too much for him? What if you won't handle this as well as you think you will? You don't want to lose him. Your mind suddenly filled with doubts, you do the only thing you can think of, and send a silent prayer to the gods, hoping they can help the two of you. 
 Holding his breath, Ivar looks at your hands as if he was hypnotized. His eyes wide open, he can't move, can't speak, utterly terrified of what is to come. He knows he should trust you. Maybe he does. But he doesn't trust himself. No, that's not true. Most of the time, Ivar doesn't lack self-confidence. He knows his worth. He's aware of the strength of his intelligence, his cunning. He knows about his good looks – even if they're quite useless; or about his highly appreciated caustic humour. And as he's no fool, he knows that being a Ragnarsson – name, wealth, all the stuff – is a major asset. Yet, when it comes to his legs, he's nothing more than a frightened little boy, so anxious that he's ready to fall apart. Feeling ashamed, self-conscious, and helpless, he's wondering how much tenser he can become until he physically shatters. Conflicted, he wants you to stop as well as he wants you to keep going. This has to be done. This should never be done. He's in love with you. You will never love him. You won't hurt him. He'll be hurt once again. Hectic, opposing thoughts are constantly fighting in his mind, leaving him frozen in fear and panicked. So, since he can't think straight, he does the only thing he can think of and sends a silent prayer to the gods. May they help him; help you. 
 Uselessly closing your eyes behind the blindfold, you gather your strength. Ivar didn't stop you. That's good. That means he wants you to do it, right? Inhaling deeply, you try to stop the shaking in your hands, and then, slightly leaning forward, you let your fingertips run over his thighs, barely touching them. You forget how to breathe and Ivar is so still, so quiet, you think he's not breathing either. 
 As you become bolder, you place the flat of your hands on his legs, careful not to apply any pressure. Under your palms, you can feel every bump, every scar, every broken bone. Your movements intentionally agonizingly slow, your hands move down to his protruding knee caps before finding his atrophied calves, their wasted muscles evident to the touch. You can't think how painful walking, or even just standing up, must be. The thought spreads a dull ache in your chest, but you keep your face emotionless, aware that if you can't see him, Ivar can see you. Rather than dwelling on it, you continue exploring, and when your fingers brush against the sole of one of his misshaped, scrawny feet, Ivar flinches. "Sorry," you mumble, "I didn't know you were ticklish." Since Ivar doesn't react, you're not sure he heard you and decide to slowly move your hands up his legs, placing them back on his bony thighs. 
 Keeping his eyes on you the whole time, Ivar struggles to breathe, his heart pounding wildly in his rib cage. He's surprised, he must say. He expected to see disgust or pity on your face, but there's none of that. Of course, he can't see your eyes, but a small smile never leaves your lips. Could it be that you're not disgusted? In any case, you don't seem troubled by what you're feeling. Maybe you're hiding it, but if so, you're hiding it well. He's also surprised because he expected to hate every moment of the process. Himself, he's all the time trying to avoid touching his legs. He hates PT sessions and doctor's appointments with a passion for a reason. But your touch is… enjoyable if he can push away all his doubts and his awful thoughts. It strikes him all of a sudden: it's probably the first time someone touches his legs for no reason at all. They were regularly massaged, checked for injuries, examined, palpated; of course, they were. But there was always a medical reason. Even when his mother touched them, it was to ease the pain. But you… you decided to touch his ugly limbs just because you wanted to. And just now, he realizes how much he missed that. Can he really miss something he's never known? He's not sure, but here he is, enjoying your featherlike touch, craving it, not wanting it to stop. Yes, he likes it; needs it. But what if, after tonight, you don't want to touch them again? He wouldn't blame you, who would want to touch such repulsive things? The thought brings bile to his throat and he knows it won't stop plaguing his mind. So he has to know, whatever it takes. Moving for the first time, he runs a trembling hand through his hair and summons all his courage.
 "You… you didn't say a word." His quivering voice startles you, making your heart swell with sadness. You don't need your eyes to know that Ivar is filled with dread. The need to reassure him compels you to blindly fumble on the bed until you find his hand, which you grasp between yours. "What do you want me to say?" You ask cautiously, your thumb lightly stroking his knuckles. 
 You can feel Ivar stiffening, his fingernails probably bruising your palms as he lets out a shuddering breath. "I…" He stops to swallow. "The… truth, Y/N. Go ahead, speak your mind. You… you touched…" He stutters, and you're willing to bet his eyes are tightly shut, his tone giving away his level of anxiety. "… you touched them. My legs, I mean. I know… I know how they feel, ugly and disgusting… no need to sugarcoat your thoughts… I… I can handle the truth…" His voice cracks at the end, contradicting his words.
 Releasing his hand, you graze his right thigh with gentle fingers. "No, Ivar", you speak softly yet firmly, "that's not how they feel, at least not to me." You know you have to be honest, you can't just say nonsensical, lovey-dovey things, he won't buy it. "I won't tell you they feel beautiful. They don't." Choosing your words carefully, you let your pointer finger follow a massive scar from his mid-thigh to his knee. "They feel different, and yes, you can feel the scars. It must have been painful, it's probably still is. But I promise you, they're not disgusting. They're your legs. They say a lot, Ivar. They're telling a story, your story. That's why I wanted to know them because as I said earlier, I want to know all about you. And they are part of you. I do think they finally deserve to be cared about, to be loved. Let me love them…" You whisper the last words, feeling vulnerable. 'Let me love you…' is what you want to add, but you know you can't, not yet, so instead you lean forward, your lips brushing and then kissing his thigh.
 Something between a whine and a choked sob escapes his lips and you can hear his breath hitch as his hand gets up close to your neck. "Did I hurt you?" You ask with concern, frowning behind the blindfold. 
 Ivar can't help but smile, even if you can't see it. "No!" he replies quickly, his hand now on the back of your head. "I wasn't expecting that, the kiss I mean, but I… liked it." He explains shyly, surprised by his own words. "Actually, I loved it." He's not lying. He loved the kiss, he loved your words; it's as if a tremendous weight had just been lifted off of him. Part of him tells him not to believe everything you said, but he decides not to. He didn't hear any malice or mischief in your voice. He knows you were being genuine. That's why, choosing to chase the disbelief away, he decides to trust you completely. And that's why, suddenly, without warning, he pulls off the blindfold.
 "What are you doing, Ivar?" You squeak, immediately closing your eyes and picking up the comforter. But as you intend to cover his legs, Ivar grabs your wrists with both hands. "Just leave it where it is." He retorts before letting out a heavy sigh. "And open your eyes."
 You do as you're told, but keep your eyes on his face. There are tears in his eyes and a whirlwind of emotions. "Just look at them, Y/N." He almost commands you, but you know that's a way to hide his true feelings behind bravado. 
 Blinking a few times and scrunching your face, you tilt your head to the side, scrutinizing him. "Are you sure?"
 Your lover just shrugs, biting his lower lip. "Will I ever be?" Taking a deep breath, he adds in a murmur. "But I trust you."
 ***
 Later that night, as you're sound asleep, your head on his chest and his arm around your waist, Ivar can't get sleep, amazed that you didn't run away. He keeps replaying what you did when you saw his legs. You had just smiled. And kissed them one more time. And then thanked him for trusting you, for allowing you to love them. Moved and overwhelmed, he could see the matching tears in your eyes, but no sadness on your face. What he saw instead was relief, and care, and… love? 
 Kissing your head, he mumbles. "It is I who should be thanking you. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you, but whatever it was, I'm glad. If angels are real, you're mine. I won't let you go, Y/N, never ever." 
 "I love you…" He finally whispers, taking advantage of your slumber. Well, little does he know you're awake but staying perfectly still. You know you weren't meant to hear those three words, not yet. And it doesn't matter. You can wait. You and Ivar have a lifetime to love each other. 
 All of him. All of you. 
🛡⚔️🛡
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tamakissimp · 3 years
Text
B.K- I could never
READ PART ONE HERE
summary: Weeks after meeting Bakugou, you break and call him up for comfort. Unbeknownst to you, he has been dying to hear from you.
warnings: cursing, crying, guilt, Bakugou hating himself?
wordcount: 2099
a/n: the fact that we all just decided that Bakugou smells like caramel is so funny lol
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Three weeks, five days, thirteen hours and six minutes. That's how long Bakugou hasn't seen you. To anyone who asked about it, he would groan that he couldn't give a rats ass about you. But he couldn't deny it to himself. Not when he was lying awake at ungodly hours, staring at his phone in hopes that you would call him.
What if you realized how much of a dick he is and decided that you didn't want to see him ever again? The thought of having fucked up after only seeing you for less than three minutes makes his gut curl up. It makes him want to sew his mouth shut to stop the hateful words from flowing out. Every day that passed by without a call from you adds to the pile of guilt building up inside him.
His words never mattered to him. Not when he yelled at his friends. Not when he screams awful words at his parents. Not when he told Izuku to jump off a fucking roof. Never did he think about how his words affected others. But when he saw the tears threatening to fall down your cheeks, the cold and broken look in your eyes, that's when he knew he fucked up.
Ever since that godforsaken day, he hasn't said a mean word to his friends. Irritated ones, sure. But Izukua was suddenly spared from the usual insults. Denki didn't get called a dunce for everything he did. His father suddenly got hugs instead of rants about how pathetic he is. The change was weird and it makes everyone feel uneasy, though it wasn't unwelcome. All of a sudden, Bakugou wasn't associated with anger and insult, now it was just anger.
His damned anger, that seemed to grow with every day. Normally, his anger was pointed at others but now it was pointed at himself. Because he was the jackass that hurt you. He was the asshole that tainted your skin with disgusting words.
Why can you only say such hurtful things? He runs his fingers over those letters that taint his wrist. Even though his room is dark, the blue light coming off his phone is enough to illuminate the space to the point where he can still make out the words. Why could he only say hurtful things? It was a conscious decision that he made. The only thing that drove him into pushing people away was himself.
His ringtone sounds through his room. His body perks up. He reads the number on the screen. Unknown. He doesn't waste a second with answering it. "Hello?" he says. The softness of his voice surprises him.
"Hi," you say. He jumps off his bed. "It's...It's Y/n.". Your voice is still as kind as it was that day. Bakugou's heart skips a couple of beats at the sound of it. He didn't know how much he missed it until now.
"Hello, hi. How-How are you doing?" he asks. He doesn't even try to keep his voice down anymore. The people sleeping around him be damned. You're more important than they will ever be.
"I'm good. I'm great," you say. It stays silent for a couple of seconds. "Actually, I'm not. I'm fucking terrible.". Bakugou remains silent. He's sure that if he says anything, he'll fuck up again. "I know this is weird, like really fucking weird but could you....come over?".
Bakugou clams his phone between his cheek and shoulder and quickly starts pulling his shoes onto his feet. "That's...weird. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," you say. His heart aches at the words. "You know what, just forget it. Forget I called, okay?".
"No," he says firmly. You're silence by him, taking aback for a bit. "I'm coming over, alright? Text me your address.". It isn't a question, it's a command. You need him. You're doing bad, something in you wanted him there so he well crosses all the seven seas just to get to you.
"Okay, okay. Yeah, I'll do that," you say. Bakugou hums in acknowledgement as he closes the door of his dorm behind him. "I'm gonna hang up now, okay? And I'll...I guess I'll see you in a bit.".
"I'll see you," he says. The click of you ending the call bounces through his ears before he grabs his phone and opens his messages. The address you sent him is all too familiar. The general studies dorm. Curses fly out under his breath as he roughly stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants. He doesn't have time to wait for the elevator. Instead, he runs towards the stairs.
Bakugou runs down the stairs with a speed that would put Iida to shame. While the walk to the general studies dorms would normal take him five minutes, Bakugou manages to do it in under two. He finds you already standing outside of the building. A blanket is wrapped around your body. The hood of your hoodie is pulled over your head, covering your hair.
As he gets closer and closer to you, the state you're in becomes more clear to him. Your eyes are bloodshot, your chin is wobbling and dried tears have stained your cheeks. Even though you look like you're one second away from breaking, there is still a smile on your lips. That damned smile that makes Bakugou's heart skip a beat. "Hey," you say.
Bakugou doesn't say anything. Instead, he pulls you against his chest. His arms wrap around you, head burying in the crook of your neck. The sudden human contact was all you needed to be pushed over the edge. Another stream of tears rushes down your cheeks. Sobs shake through your bones as you bite your lip to keep the sounds in. It's only when the disgusting taste of blood fills your mouth that you let the sounds go.
Pathetic whimpers and sniffles ring through the night as you bury your face into Bakugou's chest. The smell of burnt caramel floods your nose and calms you down. Who knew something so sweet could be so comforting?
"Let it all out," Bakugou whispers. His hands run up and down your spine. Everything feels foreign to him. He is never one to comfort others, though, with you, it comes naturally. His body immediately knows how to calm you down and bring you back to a relaxed state.
You whisper apologies out in between sobs and ragged breaths. Even when you're falling apart in front of a total stranger you're still trying to comfort him. Running your fingers through his hair, saying praises through your apologies. It all tugs onto Bakugou's heart. Nothing in him should deserve someone as kind as you. Yet the universe still decided to tie you to together through an eternal bound of your souls.
Bakugou grabs your wrist and brings it up to his lips, gently placing a kiss onto your soulmate marks. Those words. Those words that caused you so much pain and made you fear for the moment you would meet your soulmate. Those words that he put there.
"Don't be sorry," Bakugou says. "Don't ever be sorry for feeling. Don't be sorry for crying. Got it?". You nod at him. He gently wipes the tears off your face with his thumb. "If you feel shitty, you come to me. You come to me and you do anything that helps.".
You pull away from Bakugou, now standing in front of him. It's only now that you notice his bare arms. He forgot to grab a jacket in his rush. You peel the blanket off your shoulder and hold it out to him. He shakes his head but you just push it closer to him. "Please," you say. He rolls his eyes before taking the plush material from you.
Bakugou wraps it over his shoulder. He was probably going to regret only wearing a tank top tomorrow but right now, he didn't care. "Idiot," he says as he snuggles further into the blanket. "You're going to catch a cold.". You just shake your head as you stuff your hands into the front pouch of your hoodie.
"No, you are," you say. The tears have stopped flowing down your cheeks and a smile adorns them now instead.
"Gonna tell me what's going on?" Bakugou asks. You nod, staring down at the ground. You start to fiddle with your hand. Bakugou lifts his hand and places two fingers on the underside of your chin. He lifts your head up to force you to look at him. "Come on.".
"I'm so sorry for making you wait," you say. Bakugou is taken aback by your words. "I'm your soulmate for fucks sake. And I just ignored you for weeks, that's such an asshole thing to do. I'm sorry.".
Bakugou cups your face. He shakes his head. You stare into his red eyes. There's a certain softness hidden behind the fire burning in them. "Don't. Be. Sorry," Bakugou says. The words are hard for him to say. He never opens himself up to people. Up until a few weeks ago, he did nothing but hurdle insults at people like it was nothing.
It was the only thing he knew how to do; be a bully. Yet here he is. Holding his soulmate like they're made of glass. Afraid to say anything because the has already fucked up the very second he met them. He has permanently marked them with the insults he uses.
"You aren't supposed to be sorry," he continues. "You're supposed to be fucking mad at me. You're supposed to hate me, not be sorry.". You shake your head at his words. You reach your hands up to runs them over his face. Your pointer fingers smooth out the furrow of his brow.
"I could never," you whisper. Bakugou's chin wobbles at your words. Vulnerability is new to him. Just saying these words feel like he's ripping his chest open and showing you his heart.
He's waiting for you to reach in and pull it out. For you to throw his heart on the ground and stomp on it. Instead, you gently stroke it. You say loving words to him while he did nothing to deserve them."How could I hate my soulmate?".
✨bonus✨
The bright sun shines into your skin. Crisp air bites into your nose yet the cold doesn't seem to phase you. Bakugou's hand is intertwined with yours.  You smile at him as he continues to talk about his day.
"So Kiri just came out of nowhere with five fucking bowls of noodles because that idiot order way too fucking much," Bakugou says. You nod at him. Months ago, Bakugou would have referred to his friend as 'shitty hair' or some other demeaning nickname. Now, Kirishima got the privilege of having a kinder nickname; Kiri.
Bakugou looks down at you while you keep on smiling at him. "What's up with the goofy look?" he asks. One of his brows is raised. You shake your head as a giggle escapes your lips. Bakugou's heart warms up at the sound. Even now, months after knowing you, the sounds still make him feel lovesick.
"Nothing," you say. You give his hand a gentle squeeze. You move your eyes from his handsome face to the birds flying out of the tree around you. "Just glad that you're here.".
A blush dusts over Bakugou's cheeks. Every cell in his body is set afire. All he can do is stop walking and pull you into a tight hug. You don't hesitate to return it. His body clings into your almost desperately.
"You always say such sappy shit," he mumbles into your hair. You just laugh as you wiggle yourself out of his grasp a bit. Your hand reaches up to gently stroke his cheek. Bakugou stares into your eyes with a passion you didn't know existed until that cold night outside of your dorms. "I love you," he whispers.
You stay silent for a second. Your mind is too busy with admiring his beauty to register his words. Did he just say that he loves you? Nervousness washes through Bakugou's body. Did he say it too soon? What if you don't love him? Did he fuck up?
"I love you too," you say. Those words shut up every doubt in his mind. A dorky smile spreads over his lips before he pulls you in for a kiss. His kisses are normally rough and hungry. This one is different. It's gently and filled to the brim with love. He pulls away after a few moments. "I love you too," you repeat.
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