#sorry. i met with my advisor today and i cried. . | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nsheetee · 3 years

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109 Steps To You

this is a part of the “almost” collaboration hosted by @hyucksie

Pairing: Haechan x Reader Genre: romance, fluff, angst, mature content, soulmate!AU, college!AU Length: 19k Summary: Everyone is born with two marks on their body: one that is identical to your soulmate’s, and one that is identical to the person who will cause you immense pain. No one knows which mark means what until they live out their life and meet the people destined to bring them love and hurt. However, you were only born with one mark. Out of all the places you thought you would meet the person with the mark identical to yours, you never thought it would be on your first day of college. Warnings/Details: female reader, mentions of other nct members (and yuqi from g-idle), explicit sex (unprotected + the consequences that come with it), mentions of a dysfunctional family, swearing

— read epilogue here

a/n: if you’re a minor: beware! there is explicit and mature content in this fic.

“I want to thank you guys, again, for helping me out today.” You shyly announce to the table, swirling your spoon through your froyo and glancing back and forth between the other people sitting before you.

“Oh, it’s no problem, we weren’t doing anything today anyway.” Xiaojun softly knocks his elbow into yours, sending a reassuring smile your way. If it wasn’t for Xiaojun, an old childhood friend, you weren’t sure how moving into your dorm room and getting settled into campus would’ve gone; you would probably still be a mess right now.

“He’s right. Plus, I really wanted to meet the girl Jun kept raving about, he wouldn’t stop talking about how much we would like you-” Mark’s comment is quickly cut off, a thud under the table and a pained look on Mark’s face giving away that Xiaojun just kicked him.

“I just hope I lived up to the hype.” You laugh at their antics.

“Oh, definitely,” Yuqi quickly buts in before Mark can retaliate back at Xiaojun, “And I live a few floors below you, so just let me know if you need anything at all.” She adds on, her warm deposition and all around friendliness from today making you let out a small sigh of relief, some stress falling off your shoulders when you realize just how many people around you are here to help you out.

“I appreciate it so much, really.” You lean away from Xiaojun and Mark, closer to Yuqi and Lucas who are sitting on the other side of the table, “By the way, I love your guys’ marks. They look so good on both of you.”

At your comment, Lucas puts down his phone and gently grabs Yuqi’s hand, their matching chamomile flower marks touching as their fingers intertwine. You almost didn’t notice their matching marks earlier today when they were helping you set up your dorm room, but when you did, you couldn’t help but stop what you were doing and stare at their hands. Such a simple mark has never looked so pretty to you, maybe it’s because Lucas and Yuqi made such a good pair that their fated marks looked so right for them.

“I still wish I got a cool dragon mark down my back, but I’ll let Jun be the one to deal with that in this life.” Lucas smirks at Xiaojun, who just rolls his eyes at Lucas’ fake jealousy. “Yours looks good, too.” He finishes and glances down at your left hand. There, a dragonfly mark stains your skin, the long tail trailing over your thumb and the wings spreading out over the back of your hand and your wrist.

“Thank you.” Your reply is genuine, however you can’t help but remember the solemn fact that surrounds your mark, your voice inadvertently dipping down as your eyes trace over the wings of your dragonfly.

“So, what kind of classes are you taking this semester?” Xiaojun changes the subject, no doubt hearing the lament in your voice.

“Oh, just some required classes. Nothing for my major, really, except Intro to Ethics for my humanities credit.” You reply as casually as you can to bring the mood at the table back up, but your comment makes Yuqi gasp and all four pairs of eyes at the table turn to you. You slouch in your seat at their sudden attention on you.

“Why would you do that to yourself?”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Do you know your advisor's email? Let’s send them a message right now to get you out-”

“Stop.” You shake your head, laughing a bit at the overreaction from your new friends, “What’s wrong with Ethics?”

“It’s in the Hauss building.” Xiaojun says as if you should already know what that means. You roll your lips in and shake your head; you do not know what that means at all.

“It’s the building all the way on top of the big hill on the west side of campus, by the auditorium.” Xiaojun explains more.

“They only teach three classes over there: Ethics and Music Theory 3 and 4.” Mark sets down his melted froyo, not realizing he has some sticking to his upper lip.

“I’m failing to see what’s so horrible about that?”

“When Xiaojun says it’s a big hill, he means it’s a really big hill-”

“Didn’t someone count the steps once and it came out to be, like, close to 100?” Lucas asks, one hand still tangled with Yuqi’s and the other now rapidly slurping his triple chocolate froyo.

“That was me, and it’s 109 steps.” Mark shutters, “I took Music Theory 3 last year and I ended up skipping half of the time because I couldn’t find the energy to climb up and down those steps three times a week.”

“Why 109? Aren’t groups of steps usually in even numbers? That’s not very architecturally smart.” Yuqi purses her lips and her eyebrows screw together.

“Screw architecture. Are you telling me I’ll have to climb up and down 109 stairs three times a week just to go to Ethics?” You can already feel a headache growing at the back of your head when you think about the complications of dealing with this big staircase. You needed that class for your major, and you thought it was going to be a class that you could pass with flying colors, but it seems like it might just be a nuisance to you more than an easy A.

“Talk to your advisor. Try to drop out and take a different class. Trust me, 109 steps don’t seem like much until you actually have to climb them.” Mark gives you his piece of advice, sticking his spoon filled with froyo into his mouth and then immediately scrunching his eyes and mumbling about brain freeze.

You’ll have to send an e-mail to your advisor real quick, but for your first day of classes tomorrow, you’ll just have to deal with those 109 steps.

The walk to your ethics class the next morning is very calming, the university’s nice landscaping and the warm weather calming your nerves down for your first day of classes. When you round the corner of the stonewall you had been following, you’re met with the infamous set of steps.

You have to crane your neck to look up at the top of the staircase, your jaw slightly dropping at how steep of a hill the stairs were built on. There are other students around you walking up and down the staircase, their headphones shoved in their ears and their heads down as they make the climb to and from class.

The stonewall you had been following all the way here continues up the staircase on your right and on the left is a thick wall of trees, their branches hanging over the stairs and giving protection from the sunlight to the students below. You begin to count every step on your way up; four regular steps, the fifth one a bit longer than the rest, and then repeat. It’s not that you don’t trust Mark’s words when he said there’s 109 steps, you just want to count for yourself.

You hear some rowdy boys coming down the stairs, but the noise is not enough to pull your head up from the ground or to stop you from counting, until you’re forcefully pushed into the stone wall on your right. Breathing in through your teeth sharply, your left hand clutches your collarbones where the pain is the worst.

“Oh, my god. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to push you.” The guy laughs through his words, a high-pitched and almost squeaky laugh, making him sound not as sincere as he probably meant to be. When you turn to face him, the first thing you notice are his eyes. Chocolate colored and almond shaped, some laugh lines showing from the remnants of his shenanigans with his friends.

Looking back, you realize you fell in love with his eyes first. How they don’t hold back from showing any emotion, and the mischievousness they hold no matter what.

Even when his smile falls, his face looks pretty; long hair hanging down over his forehead and ears, and plump lips spreading into an ‘o’ shape as he looks at your dragonfly. Every line and detail is just the same as his own, as if fate spent a little more time with you two to make sure you know you’re each other’s soulmate the moment you meet.

“Your mark…” The man points at your hand, and that’s when you realize who you’ve just met. His brilliant eyes fill with excitement and he starts to breath harder, taking a step back from sheer surprise that you’re here. His soulmate. His one and only for the rest of this life.

However it all fades away the moment you drop your hand from your collarbones, stepping past him to continue up the staircase.

“Next time, watch where you’re going.” The first words you ever say to him are filled with so much indifference that Haechan can only follow your back with his eyes, his jaw slack and his hand still reaching out for you.

“Hey, wait-” Haechan is about to run after you, but he’s held back by Renjun, his best friend and the one who pushed Haechan into you in the first place.

“Was that-” Renjun begins, holding onto his friend’s elbow as he also watches you walk up the rest of the 109 steps.

“Yeah… Why did she ignore me like that? She saw that I have the same mark. We’re soulmates!” Haechan almost cries out in confusion, his heart and mind in a mess. Can you blame him? He’s been waiting to meet his soulmate since he knew what the dragonfly on his hand meant. Haechan has never been a patient person, and even waiting several years for you to come to him was testing him. Now that you’re here, he isn’t going to let you go easily.

As Haechan begins to walk back up the staircase to follow you, not caring about his Literature class in 15 minutes, Renjun’s grip on him tightens and pulls him back.

“You can’t just go harass her about this.”

“I’m not going to harass her. I just want to talk.” Haechan tries to pull out of Renjun’s grip again, but the little man has the sturdiness of a boulder and pulls his friend back.

“Maybe she doesn’t want a soulmate?” Renjun and Haechan stop their tug of war at Jaemin’s words. He had been leaning against the handrail by the trees the whole time while watching the scene unfold in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest and his baseball cap covering his eyes. “It’s not that uncommon these days.”

Haechan and Renjun let go of each other at their friend’s words. Jaemin sends them a bitter smile and all three of them recall the incident that happened last year when Jaemin met his own soulmate:

A rejection.

Jaemin took it hard; if it hadn’t been for his best friends, he doesn’t know where he would be in life right now. Jaemin can’t help but let the memories surface as he continues to walk down the stairs, slower than before, his head bowed and his hands shoved into his pant pockets. Renjun sends Haechan a look that tells him to not push the situation further, following Jaemin down the stairs.

Haechan sends your retreating figure one last look, watching you reach the top of the staircase and walk into the Hauss building. He retreats and follows his friends dejectedly, the promise of you showing up on this staircase at the same time on Wednesday being the only thing that lets his legs follow his friends down the stairs.

“Hey, ___, come in.” Mark smiles brightly when he recognizes you at the door, stepping aside to let you into the dorm room. “Xiaojun is in the shower still… Will you be okay by yourself if I leave?” He looks unsure as you set your backpack down on Xiaojun’s desk chair.

“Oh, I’ll be fine. You do whatever you need to.” You state and then plop down onto your friend’s bed. You hear Mark laugh and say something about how all the first years look tired at the end of their first day and then leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. You lay sprawled out on the bed, the only sounds surrounding you is the water from the shower and the ticking of the analog clock on the wall.

Even though the whole ordeal happened several hours ago, you haven’t been able to get the moment you met your soulmate out of your mind. It was almost impossible for you to turn around and walk away. Even now, your feet still itch to go back to that staircase and find the sweet looking guy who you no doubt left confused.

However, you can’t do that— you won’t let yourself do that. And that’s partially why you’re in Xiaojun’s dorm room after your last class today: so that he can knock some sense into you.

The shower turns off and a few moments later, the bathroom door opens and Xiaojun steps out. He has a towel wrapped around his waist and a smaller one on his shoulders to catch the droplets from his hair; when he sees you laying on his bed, he jumps in fright.

“Good, God,” He sighs and clutches his bare chest with one hand, the other protectively going to the towel around his waist. “Can you say something the next time you come over? I almost had a heart attack because of you.” He walks over to his closet on the other side of the room, rummaging through some clothes as you sit up.

“Sorry, I thought you heard the door open…” You trail off, getting distracted by Xiaojun’s mark. The dragon on his back is huge, taking up most of the area and spreading to his shoulders and upper arms, too. However, that’s not the mark that caught your attention. Right on his ankle sits a three-leaf clover, so small and such a stark difference from the monster drawn on his back.

You’re pulled away from your thoughts when Xiaojun turns around and walks back into the bathroom, this time leaving the door open, “So, how was your first day?”

“Oh, well, it was okay…” You trail off, speaking a bit louder so that he could hear you from the other room. You stand up and start pacing in the space between Mark’s and Xiaojun’s beds, a nervous habit of yours.

“But? I know there’s a ‘but’ somewhere.” Xiaojun replies.

“Well, something happened…” You trail off, not sure how to make the words leave your mouth yet.

“What is it?” You swallow at the question, your throat dry and hands clammy. You must’ve been taking a long time to answer because Xiaojun walks out of the bathroom, now fully clothed, and stares at your pacing form. “What’s wrong, ___.”

“I met him.” You say simply, hoping Xiaojun gets what you mean, but he doesn’t. You sigh and sink down to the floor slowly, catching yourself on Xiaojun’s bed. The action makes his eyes widen in fear and he crosses the room in a few short strides, kneeling down next to you and searching your eyes for the answer.

“What? What is it?”

“The person with the same mark as me. I met him.”

“... Oh.”

Xiaojun slowly slides down onto his butt in front of you, folding his legs. He’s not sure what to say, or how to comfort you in anyway. He didn’t expect to be the only person around that you trust when something like this happens. He sees the lost look in your eyes and slides towards you to pull you into a hug.

Unlike Xiaojun, and most people in the world, you do not have two marks.

Xiaojun’s dragon and clover match with two different people in this world; one who will be his soulmate and the other who will bring him immense pain. Everyone has two marks— except you; it even states it on your birth certificate, your parents can testify that they’ve never seen a second mark on you, just the lonely dragonfly that spreads its wings over your left hand.

When you were younger, you were curious about what it meant to only have one mark. The people around you always had two marks, the people on the TV shows you liked to watch always had two marks, even anatomy books have depictions of humans with two marks. Why were you different? What did it mean?

After gathering up the guts to type the question into the Google search engine, you found your answers, and it changed your thoughts on your one and only mark forever. The people in the world who only had one mark testified to the same story online: the person who’s mark matched theirs were both their soulmate and the person who hurt them the most.

After learning about that, you promised yourself that if you ever met the person with the same mark as you, you would not meddle with them in any way if they were only destined to bring you pain in the end.

If you knew jumping off a bridge would definitely kill you, you wouldn’t jump, right?

Xiaojun is the only person, other than your parents, who knows about the situation. Which is why when he hugs you, you lean into him and accept his comfort.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about. You must have so many questions.” He mumbles into your hair.

“Not questions. I’m just curious about what I am to him.” You reply, whispering into Xiaojun’s shoulder.

“About what you are to him?”

“I know he’ll be the person I’m meant to love the most, and also the person who will hurt me the most. But am I the one that’s supposed to love him or the one that’s supposed to hurt him?”

“Lots of people say that they can feel it when they meet. Like Lucas, he said he instantly knew Yuqi was supposed to be his soulmate.” Xiaojun thinks back to all the people who have told him the exact same thing, even his parents.

“The guy… he kept calling me his soulmate. He sounded so sure about it, too.” You lean away from Xiaojun to look into his big and curious eyes.

“What about you? What did you feel?” He asks.

“It felt… like I left a part of myself with him.” Xiaojun’s eyes widened at that, “Is that crazy? I was only around him for a minute, maybe less, and I can’t stop thinking about how I never wanted to leave. It was so hard to walk away from him..” You trail off, feeling tears suddenly gather at the edges of your eyes.

“Xiaojun…” The edge in your voice makes him grab a hold on your hands, “I don’t want him to hurt me. I’m not ready for it.”

“Hey, hey…” Xiaojun squeezes your hands before gently guiding your face to his, meeting his eyes with your own, “He’ll hurt you eventually, yeah, but he’ll also be the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally. The person who is going to know you so well, better than yourself. Maybe you should see where he takes you in life? Destiny still wanted you to meet each other no matter what the end game is going to be… Are you really going to tell fate to fuck off?”

“Can’t I?” Your response makes Xiaojun laugh, which he apologises for laughing in a serious situation right after, but the mood is already broken and you laugh at yourself a bit as well.

“C’mon, let’s order something to eat and get your mind off of this, even if it’s just for a few hours.” Xiaojun pulls you off of the floor and reaches for his phone, trying to find the phone number to his favorite delivery place.

You sit on his bed once again, your hands limp in your lap and so much appreciation for Xiaojun in your chest. You probably would’ve gone insane if he wasn’t here for you. His suggestion on giving the guy you met today a chance plays like a record in your head, but the record scratches when you remember the promise you made to yourself a long time ago.

Don’t mess with him. He will only bring you pain in the end.

On Wednesday, Haechan is the first one out of his seat in his Music Theory 3 class, not even waiting for the slow Renjun and even slower Jaemin before sprinting out of the classroom and outside, waiting at the top of the staircase for your figure to appear at the bottom.

Students float up and down the stairs, but he doesn’t see you anywhere amongst them. Eventually, Renjun and Jaemin catch up to him, standing behind him and also staring down the long staircase.

“C’mon, Haechan, we need to go to our next class.” Renjun is the first one to step down, followed by Jaemin. Haechan takes a good look at everyone’s faces on his way down, getting some weird looks sent his way for staring, but he doesn’t care.

“Haechan.” Jaemin suddenly calls out, making his friend turn suddenly to look at him. Jaemin only nods his head to the bottom of the stairs where you just turned the corner. Despite his hurry from before, Haechan stops at the sight of you. His usual confidence is lost when he sees you climb the stairs. Now, he’s not sure if he should approach you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Renjun nudges Haechan, but the younger only turns around to look at his friend.

“I don’t know what to say to her. What do I say to make her see I’m her soulmate?” Haechan asks, helplessness seeping into his words.

Renjun rolls his eyes; whenever his best friend needs to be the usual confident man he is, that’s when the confidence is most likely to drain out of him. Renjun shakes Haechan’s shoulders with a tight grip on his jacket, making some more people send the two of them some weird looks.

“She’s your soulmate, right? Fate already gave you everything you need to know about how to talk to her.” Renjun then pushes his friend towards your direction, “But for the love of god, don’t harass her.” Renjun ends with a pointed look and continues walking with Jaemin down the stairs.

Haechan slowly makes his way to you, crossing over to the middle of the staircase and stopping you in your tracks. You look up to inspect who it is that just stopped in front of you, and your surprise fades when you realize it’s the same guy from Monday.

“Hi.” He says simply. You only nod your head, lips pursed, and then move around him to continue walking to class.

“Wait…” Haechan calls after you, but you don’t stop this time. So Haechan keeps walking after you, only one step behind, “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but you’re my soulmate. I’ve been waiting for you for so long—” You sharply turn to face him, making Haechan cut off and tilt his head up to look at you.

“How do you know I’m your soulmate? What if I’m not?” You ask. Haechan shakes his head softly at that, his golden hair moving over his sun-kissed skin as he does.

“That’s not possible.”

“How do you know?” You ask. Haechan loves how curiosity burns in your eyes. He takes longer than normal to speak only so that he can look over your features and memorize them to the best of his ability. Last night, he tried to recall your face but the image came out so blurry since he only saw you for a moment on Monday. He wants to clearly remember what you look like.

“How about I take you somewhere, and then I’ll tell you?” The proposition stuns you, and your burning curiosity makes you want to say yes. However, going anywhere with him would be breaking your promise to yourself, so you decide to forget it.

“Nevermind…” You mumble, turning around to walk up the stairs again.

“You seem like you really want to know how I’m sure we’re soulmates… Aren’t you curious?” Haechan asks, making you stop in your tracks again. This man has only known you for a day, only talked to you for a few moments, yet he already knows how to get you to do something. “I promise I won’t hurt you, and I’m not lying either.”

You take a moment to think about the proposition. You’re really curious about how he’s so sure that you’re soulmates. Sure, you know you’re soulmates, but why is he so sure you aren’t the person who’s supposed to hurt him? You consider taking up the offer, but can you stay strong to your own promise while being close to him?

Curiosity wins, and you turn back around to face him, nodding and making him smile widely. There’s that crinkle in his eyes again, that sparkle against the sun that makes saying yes to him so much more worth it.

“My friends call me Haechan, but you can call me Donghyuck. That’s my real name.” He sticks out his hand for you to shake. You once heard that physical touch brings soulmates together quicker; you’re not sure if that’s true, but you don’t want to test it.

“I’m ___.” You nod at him and grip onto your backpack straps instead of accepting his handshake.

“Haechan, hurry up or we’ll be late!” You both hear Renjun shout out from the bottom of the stairs, “And on our second day, too.” You hear him groan.

“Okay, ___, I’ll see you here at 7pm tomorrow night.” Haechan turns around to run back to his friends, sending you one last wave goodbye and almost tripping down the stairs as he does.

You take a deep breath and turn around to walk up the rest of the steps. You’re unsure if you did the right thing by agreeing to see him tomorrow night, but the deed is now done, and you can only wait for Donghyuck to quench your curiosity.

As promised, you meet Donghyuck at 7 o’clock sharp the next day. He’s already waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs.

“So, where are you taking me?” You ask after saying your hello’s.

“It’s a surprise.” He smiles and nods his head to make you follow him. He leads you through parts of campus you haven’t seen yet, the buildings looking older and older the further down the path you walk. Soon, Donghyuck takes a sharp turn into what looks like the middle of the forest but is really just a small, hidden extension of the trail.

Under a canopy of tall trees that wave with the wind to you and Donghyuck, there is a skinny trail that leads to glimmering water. It draws you in, your curiosity struck and your feet now moving on their own accord. Bushes tickle your ankles and the smell of some sort of flower you cannot identify floods your senses, but you can only keep walking towards the sparkling water.

The scene in front of you takes your breath away, a crisp gasp that you have no control over leaves your lips. The pond before you is big, stretching further than what you can see. The water is blue and the setting sun’s light reflects off of it to create rippling sparkles. There are some lily pads floating around, their flowers gone due to the temperature dropping recently.

You didn’t even notice that you stopped walking, your eyes wide as you take in the scenery before you. You almost forget who you’re with and why you came, but Donghyuck doesn’t let that happen. You snap out of it when he continues to walk along the trail that leads around the pond. You walk alongside Donghyuck, a few feet away with your hands awkwardly tucked into your pockets.

“C’mon, let’s sit.” He motions to a weeping willow tree. It’s tall and the branches sway pleasantly in the wind, completely unaware and indifferent to the years of history in the area. Underneath the tree is a sturdy bench, you sit on the left side while Donghyuck sits on the right side. Then, you both take a few moments to stare at the mesmerizing water that led you all the way to this seemingly magical place.

“Why did you bring me here?” You ask after a bit.

“Do you not like it?” Donghyuck asks back.

“No.” You quickly reply, looking over his side profile before turning back to the water, “I’m just curious.”

“Something in me knew you would like this place, that’s all.” Donghyuck replies while trying to hide his proud smile, looking down at the grass. “You’re curious about a lot of things, huh?”

“Yeah, I can’t help it. There’s just so much I want to know.” It’s easy to talk to him, a bit too easy. You have to keep reminding yourself that you’re supposed to have your guard up in front of him, but it’s proving harder than you thought it would be.

“Like how I’m sure that you’re my soulmate and not the person who is supposed to hurt me?” Donghyuck leans his weight away from you, his eyebrow cocked in a question. You nod your head lightly, playing with your hands on your lap.

“It’s because I’ve already met the person who’s supposed to bring me pain. I’ve already been hurt.” At his words, surprise fills you up and you turn your head to look him straight in the eye.

For some reason, you always thought that when people meet the person who brings them the largest amount of pain to their life, they couldn’t be the same ever again. How does one get hurt so badly, and still live on?

There are so many ways to hurt someone. Some people become bankrupt, some people lose all of their belongings, some people are even physically hurt by the person who has the same mark as them. How does a person go through any of that and still be themselves afterwards? More importantly, how did Donghyuck go through immense pain and still be able to smile at you like he is right here, right now?

“Here.” He begins to explain, pushing his pants around until you can see his second mark through one of the holes in his jeans, a sunflower on his knee, “My dad had the same mark as me.”

“Your…. Dad?” You ask, still confused.

“Mhmm,” He nods, now tracing the petals of the sunflower mark absentmindedly, “My parents immediately knew something was wrong when I was born. Why would a son and dad have the same mark? When I was growing up, he worked a lot, so I spent lots of time with my mom and grew closer to her. I don’t remember much from that time, but I do remember we were happy. We didn’t have a lot, but we had each other; that kind of feeling.” He looks over at you to see if you’re keeping up with the story. To Donghyuck’s surprise, you already have tears lining your eyes.

“Then one day, Dad comes home and tells us he lost his job. I remember my parents fought a lot the few weeks after that happened, mostly about how to raise me if they had no income. Dad would go out and look for work, but always came back with no luck. So eventually, my mom started working. For a while, the reason we could keep living was because of her.” Donghyuck swallows and pauses for a moment before continuing.

“And then one night, dad came home and told us he gambled. Everything, he gambled everything away. Even the little that we had, it wasn’t ours anymore. That night, my dad told me I was a mistake. My parents never meant to have me, and he said…” Donghyuck purses his lips for a moment. It had been a while since he thought about this. The scar on his heart still hurts when he picks at it. “... He said that he wished I had never been born. Then, we wouldn’t have been in that mess.”

“How old were you?” You speak up after a moment.

“Seven? Or eight.” He nods and sniffs his nose, looking down at his knee. The whole day, Donghyuck was preparing himself to tell you this story. He felt that the only way to get close to you was to open up like this first, to show you that he isn’t someone scary or bad. To Donghyuck’s surprise, telling this story hurts less now than it did earlier in this life. Maybe that means time is working, and his heart is being mended bit by bit.

Donghyuck leans his elbows against his knees, looking at the water once again while waiting for you to say anything. Are you still curious? What do you think of him now?

He was in no way prepared to feel your arms wrap around his waist in a hug, your head resting against his shoulder and your chest pressed against his side. He freezes for a moment, and then melts into your embrace completely. He’s overcome with lovesick softness for you, lightly griping the part of your arm that’s across his chest as his head turns to the side to press a kiss to the top of your head. It’s so quick that you don’t even have time to move away or to react. You just let it happen, as it’s supposed to be.

“You said that something in you knew I would like this place,” You mumble against him. He hears your voice straining with emotion, “Well, something in me knows that you need this right now.”

You and Donghyuck sit there until the sparkling water is no longer fueled by the sun’s light, but by the moon’s. It seems as though now you’ve touched Donghyuck, you never wanted to stop. You’re almost one hundred percent sure that it’s because of the soulmate bond, and a part of you nags at yourself for already chipping away at the promise you made to yourself when you were younger.

However, younger you never knew what it would be like to have a person sit in front of you and share a part of his past with you in an act of confidence and security. Your younger self never knew what it would be like to feel the same pain as someone else, and the pull you felt to touch him after sensing that physical affection would help ease that pain away.

Your younger self had no idea it was this easy to fall into a person, especially when you know they’ll catch you.

“God, I’m so sick and tired of Accounting. ___, I’m quitting school.” Xiaojun gravely tells you, his eyes not wavering from his computer screen.

“Shut up and do your homework, Jun.” You mumble, your eyes not leaving your own computer screen as you type up your Ethics essay. Three weeks into school and you’re already fully emerged in your classes. The newness of college has faded and now it’s time to start the next four years of studying endlessly for the future.

“Are you guys… okay? You haven’t moved over there in a few hours.” Mark asks from the other side of the room where he’s doing his own homework. He eyes you and your best friend from where you’re sitting on his bed, “Are you even comfortable?”

You and Xiaojun are sharing a blanket, he’s leaning against his headboard and you’re leaning against the wall. Your legs are thrown over his and several textbooks are scattered over the blanket. You’re not even sure which of these books are yours or his, or which papers laying in messy stacks belong to who.

“Yeah, I think we’re okay. We’ve been studying like this since high school.” Xiaojun answers, his fingers moving along his keyboard at the same time. You nod at Mark and he shakes his head, not understanding you two but accepting the answer.

You’re over at the guys’ dorm room enough that Mark is not surprised to see you here anymore, hanging out with Xiaojun or waiting for him to come back from class. It’s not that you don’t like your own dorm room, but it’s always so quiet in there since your roommate always studies at the library. You only hear her come into the room late at night when you’re on the verge of sleep, and when she leaves early in the morning before your alarm rings. Weekends are the same. You don’t really care, but you’ve started to hate the quiet, so you’re glad that Mark and Xiaojun don’t mind you chilling here.

“Argh,” Mark yawns and stretches after a few minutes, throwing his computer to the side and standing up, “I’m getting some snacks from the vending machine. You guys want anything?”

After you and Xiaojun answer with simultaneous shakes of your heads, which creeps Mark out, he leaves the room to get food. The room is silent for a few more moments until Xiaojun angles the lid of his laptop down to look at you.

“So… How’s the guy?”

“What guy?” You ask, still preoccupied with your essay.

“Your soulmate, ___, what other guy is there?” Xiaojun answers exasperatedly, “You never told me his name, so I don’t know what to call him. Actually, I haven’t heard you talk about him since the first day of classes. I was hoping you’d tell me what happened with him, but I guess I have to go digging up your dirt myself.” He rolls his eyes.

“His name is Haechan.” You answer, moving your computer to the side, “And I haven’t said anything to you about him because… I haven’t seen him in weeks.” You admit quietly.

“Huh? Didn’t you say you were meeting up so he could tell you why he’s sure you’re his soulmate?” You nod your head at the question, “So, what happened after that?”

“Well… I kinda, maybe, sort of…. have been avoiding him.” You answer quietly, stealing a glance at your best friend to see him staring at you blankly. When he sighs and reaches for his pillow, your eyes widen and you hold up your hands in front of you, spewing pleas and ‘wait’s. Xiaojun doesn’t care, though, flinging his pillow from behind him and into your face.

“Ow?” You whine after the pillow makes contact with your head and forces you to turn to face the other way, “Was that necessary?” You rub your nose, the part of your face that hurts worse from his attack. You’re used to Xiaojun doing this to you whenever you did something that both of you know you shouldn’t have so that you can “get some sense knocked into you, hopefully.”

“You’re so dumb. So, so dumb. Why would you avoid him.” It’s not a question, more of a confused statement to the general air. “You realize people would kill to meet their soulmate, right? People would do anything to be in your position, but you just hide away?”

“People would do anything to meet their soulmate, but people would also do anything to stay away from the person who shares their other mark.” You retaliate, “You don’t understand. To me, Haechan is both of those people.”

“There you go again, worrying about the future when you’re not even sure about what is going to happen. When will you stop worrying about something you can’t control and start thinking about today?” Xiaojun sounds so tired talking about this topic, a conversation you’ve had many times in your friendship. You wonder if he’s so tired of it, why he keeps bringing it up himself.

Before you can answer, the door to the room opens and Mark walks in, several snacks in his arms, “Hey, everyone, I hope it’s okay I brought a friend. He’s in the same major as me, just a year younger—”

“___?” Mark stops talking when his friend speaks, surprised that he already knows one of the people in the room. Your eyes widen, jaw slackening as you’re unable to even let out a peep from your mouth.

“You know each other?” Mark asks, looking between his two friends.

“Yeah, you could say I know my soulmate.” Donghyuck replies, making both Xiaojun and Mark’s eyes widen. You suddenly realize the situation you’re in: under a blanket with Xiaojun, your pajamas on, and your soulmate in front of you after you ghosted him for weeks. For the first time in a while, your eyes meet.

Donghyuck is mad. You can tell by how his fists are clenched and his jaw is tightened. Slowly getting out of the bed, you try to form some words, but Donghyuck snaps and walks over to you quickly. Grabbing your hand, he pulls you out of the room and down the hallway until you get to the lounge area. When you reach the empty room, that’s when you come to your senses.

“Donghyuck,” You pull your arm out of his, making him turn to face you, “I’m not even wearing shoes.” You hiss, pointing down to your feet as if to prove some point.

“What was all that?” He disregards your comment and hisses back at you, stepping closer so that you’re barely a few inches apart. “You were under a blanket. With some guy. Don’t you feel wrong doing that?” He asks, his hands now on his hips. You feel slightly like you’re being lectured to.

“That guy is my best friend.” You spit out.

“So, do you go around and do that to all of your guy friends?” Donghyuck chuckles vehemently, you can tell he’s angry and jealous, and that those emotions are clouding his brain at the moment. That doesn’t mean his words don’t hurt, though.

“Xiaojun and I have been best friends since we were in diapers. I’ve known you for three weeks, barely. I’m more comfortable around him than I am with you. You think just because I’m your soulmate, I’ll automatically trust you and we’ll all of a sudden be a happy couple? It doesn’t work like that, Donghyuck. I don’t even know you.” You can tell you hurt him by your last words because he turns silent, his shoulders slouching and his anger subsiding.

You can tell you hurt him, hard, because you feel the hurt, too.

It makes you realize how scary the bond between soulmates is. Even though you and Donghyuck haven’t spent that much time together to strengthen your bond, it’s still strong enough to allow you to feel his emotions. It makes you wonder if Donghyuck will be able to feel your pain in the future when he hurts you, like he’s destined to.

“Have you even tried to get to know me? You’ve been avoiding me ever since I took you to the pond.” At his comment, you fold your arms over your chest and look away, not ready to answer that question.

“I’m… just scared, is all.” You manage to reply. Although not the complete truth, it’s not a total lie. Donghyuck completely softens at your words, his close proximity to you feels less threatening and turns into something more gentle. His hand softly slips into yours, but this time with a lighter touch than before.

“You don’t have to be scared, not around me. I’m new to this too, so I don’t know how it all works yet, but this is something we can figure out together. That’s what we were fated to do.” Donghyuck can feel his words pulling you closer to him, he can feel you on the edge and he’s ready to catch you with his arms wide open.

But in the last second, you take a step back and slip your hand out of his, making his drop limply to his sides. You send him a look, something he can’t read, and then turn around and walk back to the dorm he pulled you out of.

He almost had you, almost.

When midterms come around, you use your upcoming tests and projects as a way to dive deep into your work so that you don’t have to think about Donghyuck. It’s a good plan overall, however your friends quickly start worrying for you and your health. Staying up late several nights in a row and not even being able to remember when the last time you ate is where Xiaojun pulled the plug on your bad studying habits. He confiscated your backpack and dropped you off in front of your dorm building with the promise that you’ll have all of your things back tomorrow morning only if you rest for tonight.

On your way to the elevator, you run into Yuqi, both of your facial expressions brightening when you recognize each other.

“Oh, ___, Hi!” You stop in the middle of the hallway to greet her, a smile pulling at your lips due to her bright hello. “How are you?”

“Midterms are kicking my ass, but other than that I’m fine.” She laughs at your answer, throwing her head back and letting her new short hair ruffle her shoulders.

“I wish I could tell you it gets better, but that would be a lie.” You nod your head in solemn understanding, “Listen, I can’t talk for long since I have a night class, but promise to text me when things slow down, yeah?”

“Of course, I promise.” You nod, just the thought of spending some time with a good friend already pushes away your stress. You wave bye to Yuqi as she begins to turn around but after a loud “oh!” leaves her lips, she turns back to face you.

“Your roommate, her name is Mya, right?” At her random question, you tilt your head in confusion, “She has really long, black hair and big glasses, right? I think I saw her when I was helping you move in?”

“Yeah, that’s her.” You nod, “Why?”

“She found her soulmate today.” You would’ve been more interested in the news if you knew Mya beyond when she goes to class and when she gets back to the dorm, but you feign surprise and nod your head absentmindedly.

“Lucas managed to get a video. It was a whole performance in the quad today, you’d think someone was getting married. I’ll send it to you later.” And with that, she says her last goodbye and runs off. You slowly turn and continue walking in a slow pace up to your dorm room, taking the stairs just so you can have some time to think and be away from people you could potentially run into if you use the elevator.

You’re genuinely happy for Mya, even if you barely know a single thing about her. However, something about a person close to you finding their soulmate makes you sad, considering the situation with your own soulmate. You can’t help but feel a little jealous that there are people who can meet their soulmate and fall into each other’s lives easily.

In times like these, you crave for Donghyuck.

You crave his touch and his words, you crave that comfortable feeling of belonging somewhere you get when he’s around. It’s insane that you haven’t spent much time together, yet you can yearn for someone to the extent that it hurts. It’s been like this ever since Donghyuck pulled you out of Xiaojun’s dorm and you rejected him.

Turning away from him all those weeks ago still haunts you. When you’re struggling to fall asleep, your mind goes to that night. When you let your mind wander, it wanders to that night. You constantly think about stepping away from him, but you’re not sure if you keep remembering the moment out of guilt or shame. One of the questions you keep asking yourself is if you did the right thing. You still do not have an answer.

When you walk into your dorm room, you kick off your shoes and turn on your bedside lamp, falling onto your bed with a deep sigh. You close your eyes for a second, but the peace and quiet of your room is ruined when your phone dings with a notification.

Yuqi’s message pops up, and when you swipe your phone open you can see she sent a video. You click on it and turn the volume up. This was no doubt taken earlier today in the quad, the sun shining and lots of professors and students walking in the background. Under the huge clock tower stand two people, one of them holding a large bouquet of roses. When the clock strikes noon, the bells on top of the tower begin to ring a familiar melody that can be heard all over your big campus. You see the exchange of the bouquet and the two people hug, and then applause rises from the people walking by. You smile when you hear Lucas’ whooping and hollering from behind the phone.

You’ve heard about the tradition of soulmates meeting under the clock tower at your university. Yuqi told you about it when she was giving you a tour around campus at the beginning of the semester. You remember her telling you that it’s really romantic, probably due to the history of so many people getting together in the exact same spot.

Although the idea is rather plain, you do feel your heart strings tug at the beautiful display, glad you could see something like this through a video. Then, as the camera gets closer to the couple, your smile fades and you pause the video, zooming in to get a better view. Mya is no doubt the one who received the flowers, but you can’t help but furrow your eyebrows as you recognize her soulmate.

It’s one of Donghyuck’s friends.

Not the quiet one with black hair that hangs around on the outside of their group, but the shorter one who seemed to simultaneously love and hate Donghyuck, or at least that’s what you gathered from seeing him a few times.

After the realization, you drop your phone to the side and stare up at your ceiling in defeat. Is this fate? If you didn’t meet Donghyuck on those steps two months ago, would you eventually meet him through your roommate and her soulmate? Or is this all just one big coincidence?

In this world, coincidences are harder to find than the work of fate.

Your train of thought is quickly cut off by the opening on the door, you quickly sit up to watch a huge red bouquet of flowers enter the room, followed by your roommate. You’ve only seen her face a few times this semester, but never have her features looked so bright and happy. She also looks startled when she notices you’re in the room, but her happiness doesn’t fade.

“Oh? You’re here?” She asks.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You both chuckle awkwardly, “Congrats, by the way. For finding your soulmate.” You motion to the flowers in her hand.

“Thank you! To be honest, Renjun wasn’t at all what I expected in a soulmate, but I think I love him already.” The sweetness drips from her eyes and words, and you nod and smile, remembering that Donghyuck’s friend’s name is Renjun. Her phone begins to ring and she shuffles the flowers in her hand to look at the screen, “Oh, it’s him.”

She answers the call, speaking quietly as she walks over to her side of the room. You weigh out the options of sneaking out of your dorm and finding a place to chill until your roommate falls asleep. You're not sure if you can talk to her about soulmate stuff and keep up this happy look on your face.

However, all thoughts of those plans leave your mind when Mya turns to you and holds out the phone, “It’s for you?” She says it more like a question, but you’re sure you’re the one who’s more confused.

“Hello?” You ask into the phone, awkwardly looking around the room.

“___? Oh, thank god. It’s Renjun, Haechan’s friend. I need your help.” He talks quickly and shallowly, like he’s out of breath and currently moving somewhere.

“How did you know I’m Mya’s roommate?” You ask, disregarding his cry for help.

“It’s a long story, I promise I’ll explain later, but can you please come to the auditorium? The back entrance.” You hear more voices in the background of the call, but you can’t make out what they're saying. One of them is definitely Donghyuck.

“What’s going on?” At the sound of your soulmate’s unique tenor, you suddenly become more aware of what might be happening. Is Donghyuck safe? Did he get in trouble?

“Donghyuck drank too much and he won’t go home, he keeps asking for you.” At that, you hand the phone back to Mya, who takes it from you with an unsure look. By the time Mya says her worried goodbyes and hangs up, she turns back to an empty dorm room, your phone snatched from your bed and your scattered shoes gone.

You must’ve made it to the auditorium in record time, not even the climb up the 109 steps could slow you down. When you reach the auditorium, you can hear Donghyuck and his friends conversing loudly and you follow their voices, which eventually leads you to the dingy backside of the auditorium. Donghyuck is sitting on the ground with the hood of his coat pulled up and covering his eye sight, arms crossed over his chest and his lips in a pout. His two friends, Renjun and the black-haired kid, stand above him. The quiet one is shivering in his spot while Renjun practically yells at Donghyuck on the ground, who doesn’t seem to be moving any time soon.

“Hi, ___.” The quiet one notices you first and then all three guys turn to look at you.

“___…” Donghyuck whines out your name and tries to stand up but Renjun gently pushes him back down.

“What happened?” You ask, sniffing your nose when the harsh, cold air nips at it.

“He said he wanted to unwind before his midterms tomorrow but then he went out and had some drinks, a few too many as you can see.” Renjun explains, “We followed him here, he said he won’t go anywhere unless it’s with you.”

“It’s strange. Haechan is a good drinker, I didn’t think he would get drunk so quickly… Oh, I’m Jaemin, by the way.” He introduces himself with a bright smile, as if you weren’t just discussing the drunken state of his friend.

“I’m Renjun, I called you earlier. I promise I have a good explanation for how I know you’re Mya’s roommate, I just don’t think right now is the best time to talk about it.” Renjun explains, his hands pointing towards Donghyuck.

“Right, about him… I think you guys should leave.” Both sober men widen their eyes, looking at each other and then back at you.

“Are you sure you want to handle this yourself? He looks small, but Haechan is kind of heavy.” Jaemin warns.

“Hey!” Donghyuck speaks up, but even his verbalization sounds slurred. When he points an accusing finger at Jaemin, he sways and misses Jaemin’s figure by a whole foot, “Don’t say that kind of stuff to my girlfriend.”

At his use of the word, Jaemin and Renjun stand straight with awkwardness and you sigh, white puffs of air leaving your mouth, “Yeah, you guys should go.”

Renjun and Jaemin give you an unsure look, but turn around and leave the area anyway. Renjun sends one last look over his shoulder with a wave of his hand. You look at Donghyuck after they turn the corner, kicking his shoe gently.

“Hey, get up. How much did you drink?” You’re not actually curious about how much alcohol he consumed, you just want to know if he can even respond to simple questions.

“Babe!” He exclaims when he looks up, “Oh, not much. I could go for another round right now, actually.” His words slur together and he sways in his sitting position against the brick wall of the auditorium.

“You’re not going for another round, you’re going home. C’mon.” You grab onto the sleeve of his puffer jacket, pulling him up so that he’s standing. He immediately falls onto you, his arms around your waist and his legs spread wide so that his head is hidden in your neck.

“Hyuck, you have to walk. Get up.” You pull him up once again, putting one of his arms around your shoulders and giving him more support around his waist. Slowly, you begin to walk away from the auditorium with Donghyuck’s drunk mumbling filling the cool air. His legs barely work underneath him, and he turns his head and leans into your ear every once in a while to sing some random lyric that pops into his mind at that second, like a small concert that he allows only you to hear.

Once you reach the top of the staircase, you stop and take a long look down to the bottom, “Why did you have to come all the way up here? How are we getting down the stairs?” If you start to climb down, Donghyuck could fall and hurt himself. You’re not that strong to begin with and your shoulders are already feeling sore from carrying most of Donghyuck’s weight.

“We can ride this.” He giggles and breaks away from you, one of his legs swinging over the handrail so that he’s straddling it.

“No, no, no.” You pull him off, but his shoe gets caught against the rail and he comes falling down onto you, both of you landing on the top step of the staircase. You wince in pain at how your back hits the concrete, but you don’t think about it much as you push Donghyuck off of you and into the space next to you on the top stair.

“Oh, no. Are we stuck up here?” He asks as you brush your hands together to get rid of the little pieces of concrete in your skin.

“Yes, and it’s all your fault. What are you gonna do about it?” You reply, so sarcastically that even Donghyuck’s drunk brain registers the joke. Your heart almost leaps out of your throat when he grabs your hands and pulls you closer to him, gently picking out each little ball of cement in your palms.

“I’m sorry I keep hurting you.” He apologizes. This close, you can smell the alcohol in his breath, mixed with his shampoo and cologne. He smells warm in this cold weather, and you feel like falling into him and drinking up his scent, not even minding the alcohol stench.

“Keep hurting me?” You ask.

“Yeah, that must be why you don’t want to be with me. I have to be doing something wrong for you to hate me.” He sighs, sniffling and enclosing your hands in his, his glassy eyes looking up at you and his long hair hangs down over his forehead and tickles his eyelashes. “I’m a bad soulmate.”

The way he says it makes your heart break. It makes you feel regret 1000 times worse than what you’ve been feeling these past few weeks; as if all of the worry and sadness hit you all at once, you feel like crying.

Isn’t he supposed to be the one who hurts you? Why does it feel like you’re the only one doing the hurting?

“You’re not a bad soulmate,” It’s not Donghyuck’s fault that he got stuck with you, or that things will turn out the way that they’re destined to, “And I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” He looks up into the night sky and sways a bit as he thinks, “Then why won’t you be with me? Hm?” He tilts his head, his lips pouting as he thinks. You desperately want to find an answer that’ll soothe him, but nothing you can come up with will give you that result, the truth included.

“It’s complicated…” You trail off, and your answer makes Donghyuck snort.

“How? I’m your soulmate, you’re mine. What else matters?” He laughs incredulously.

“What if you’re not just my soulmate?” You ask him, surprising yourself with how easily you can ask the question, probably because the influence of alcohol over him has you more at ease, “What if something happens in the future? I’m just… looking out for me, and for you.” You explain, trying to sound as vague as possible.

When you glance at Donghyuck, he looks dead serious. You think that maybe he has suddenly sobered up with how deep and calculating his eyes look. One of his hands tighten around yours while the other slowly raises to your hair, pacing himself along the way, and pausing before he touches you. When you don’t stop him, he gently caresses your hair and moves it away from your face, his nimble fingers sliding to your jaw. He moves your face so that your eyes meet his.

“I know I’m drunk, but I can make this promise again when I’m sober. I’ll make this promise every single day for the rest of my life, only if it means you can be there with me to fulfill it.” The severeness in his tone is like a wake up call about how serious this is for him.

“What promise?” You whisper back.

“It’s not just a ‘you’ or just a ‘me’ now. It’s an ‘us.’ And I will do everything I can to not hurt us.”

He says it with so much conviction that you somehow believe him. You finally fall into him and rest your tired head on his shoulder as he welcomes you into his warm arms. Maybe it’s foolish of you to think you two can go against fate’s words, but with him by your side, you feel like you can conquer the whole universe.

“Stop smiling like that, you’re making it very obvious that you got laid for the first time.” Donghyuck peers over his laptop screen to Renjun, where he has had a permanent smile on his face ever since he, Donghyuck, and Jaemin met up today to study in the lounge center of their dorm building.

“You know, Haechan, I’m not even mad at that. It’s more than what I can say to you.” Renjun tries to hide his widening smile while looking down at his own laptop, but that paired with Jaemin’s quiet laughter leaves Donghyuck bitter. “Didn’t you and ___ make up?” Renjun asks.

“They were fighting? I thought they just weren’t talking to each other?” Jaemin asks.

“Isn’t that fighting?”

“Kids.” Haechan cuts them off, “Not that it’s any of your business, but we were not fighting and we did make up.”

“That makes no sense.” Jaemin mutters and squints his eyes at Donghyuck.

“I’m older than you.” Renjun retaliates, but Donghyuck pretends like he doesn’t hear.

“We’re just… taking it slow.” Donghyuck ends his explanation with a firm nod of his head, and Renjun shuts his laptop and turns to his friend.

“Can you take it slow during the Fair this weekend? I’m planning to go with Mya and accidentally bought two pairs of tickets. I’ll give you the other pair.” Renjun leans into his friend’s side and wiggles his eyebrows.

“At what cost?” Haechan leans in as well and raises an eyebrow.

“Help me with my English project.”

“No way,” Haechan leans back and focuses on his own laptop screen again, “I haven’t even started mine, I don’t have time to help you with yours.”

“Please,” Renjun draws out the word, grabbing Donghyuck’s sleeve and tugging at it so hard that he can’t properly type, “I suck at English, and unfortunately it’s the only thing that you’re better at than me.”

“The only thing?” Donghyuck glares at Renjun. “Now I’m definitely not helping you.” When Renjun whines at that Donghyuck gets a devilish idea, and it shows by the smirk on his face, “... Unless, you’d like to show us how you really need help.”

At Donghyuck’s proposition, he leans back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest while Jaemin mirrors his actions, his own goofy smile on his face as he waits for Renjun to either accept or deny the proposition, but he hopes he’ll accept it.

Renjun looks between his two friends and sighs, dropping his head down as he mentally prepares himself. When he lifts his head, he looks at Donghyuck with his lips pursed, his pointer finger over them and makes a “kyu” sound that is way higher than his original speaking voice. Jaemin and Haechan immediately burst into as quiet of laughter as they can, Jaemin reaching over the table to poke Renjun’s cheek at his cuteness.

“I never said to act cute, I just wanted you to say please again.” Donghyuck jokes through his snickering, and Renjun immediately stands up from his chair to take a fistful of Haechan’s jacket and pull back his other fist, all cuteness gone from his facial features in a split second.

“Okay, okay, sorry, sorry.” Haechan tries to pull away, his voice rising as Renjun holds onto his jacket tighter and threateningly leans in.

“Hey, quiet down.” Someone whisper-shouts from a few tables away, and it makes Renjun let go of Donghyuck and slowly sit back down. “This isn’t even a library, why are they shushing me.” He grumbles.

“You guys have fun on your date,” Jaemin sighs as he begins to put away his things, satisfied with the study session and with his friends' mischief, “I would go too, but I don’t feel like being a fifth wheel.”

Once your classes end on the day of the Fair, you and your roommate meet up with Donghyuck and Renjun outside of the Fair grounds. You and Donghyuck walk side by side, a bit behind the other couple as they lead the way, practically in their own little bubble. Your hands are shoved in your pockets to keep them from turning numb from the cold and you try to shove your head as far into your jacket as you can to keep your face and neck protected from the wind. Other than the chilly weather, it’s a perfect day for a Fair.

You don’t seem to notice Donghyuck’s predicament right beside you; he’s trying to find a way to hold your hand, but you don’t move them out of your pockets. Actually, Donghyuck is sure you’re doing this on purpose, since he has been trying to touch you the moment you met up with him tonight.

“So, what do you wanna ride first?” He asks you. After looking around the area, your eyes land on a tea cup ride, where the large cups move in circles and also spin in their spots.

“That.” You point to it. Before you can move, Donghyuck latches into your hand that was pointing into the air and pulls you to the ride, a smug smile on his face at how he succeeded in finally sharing some skin to skin contact.

The ride was, to say the least, nauseating. Not that it was disgusting, but Donghyuck wouldn’t stop spinning your individual cup around in fast circles, and you were so sure that you would fling off any second due to the strong velocity those tiny cups have when they go at full speed. However, walking off of the ride with wobbly legs and not being able to see straight was funnier than you thought it would be.

Donghyuck was actually still pretty dizzy when he tried to win a stuffed octopus for you with a dart game. However, he ended up losing $15 while trying to win the game, and you’re sure he would’ve spent more if you didn’t pull him away. After eating some good food and refilling your energy, the sun begins to set on the horizon in a colorful display of red, orange and pink, and people start to make their way to the ferris wheel.

“C’mon,” You hear Mya say from behind you, “We need to get in line first or else we’ll be waiting for half of the night.” She pulls Renjun by his sleeve and passes you and Donghyuck, practically running to the end of the growing line for the Ferris Wheel. When you see where she’s running to, you stop in your tracks which in turn makes Donghyuck stop. Your intertwined fingers pull you back to each other as he looks at you with a puzzled look.

“I’m… not good with heights.” You confess and look towards the top of the ferris wheel, shivering just at the thought of going that far up into the sky in a metal contraption, “Or small spaces…” You add on.

“That’s okay,” Donghyuck gently reassures, smiling lightly at your sudden timidness about your fears. Honestly, he’s just happy you now trust him a bit more to even tell him what you’re afraid of. “We don’t have to go. We can do something else.”

“Like what?” You ask. Donghyuck purses his lips and looks around, until a set of stairs on the edge of the fairgrounds catches his eye.

“I know a place where we can still get a good view of the sunset without going too far up.” He replies and tugs you along with him towards the set of stairs. They lead down to the park that’s nestled in the middle of your University, which eventually leads to a pedestrian bridge that crosses over a river that runs through your town.

The river isn’t that big, nor is the bridge, but it’s big enough to have your head tilting up in wonder as you gaze at the lights adorning the sides of it, lighting up not only the bridge itself by the sky as well. You’ve seen this bridge from your dorm room, but you’ve never once stood on it, and it looks remarkable from this close up.

Donghyuck continues to lead you over the pedestrian bridge onto the other side, where an outdoor museum that was constructed by art students a few years ago holds several different abstract paintings. His hand in yours, which has been it’s resting place all night, keeps yours warm. You try not to think about how your hands fit into each other like the gears of a hand-crafted watch. The lines on your palms connect with the lines on his; it’s painfully obvious he was made for you and you were made for him.

When you reach the end of the outdoor museum, you turn west and face the sunset just as it’s setting over the skyline. Even though some tall buildings obstruct the view, the colors of the sky stretch overhead and make both you and Donghyuck stand still and appreciate the artwork in the sky.

“You like these kinds of things, huh? Sunsets, and ponds, and that kind of stuff?” He suddenly asks, not talking his eyes off of the sky. You, however, turn to look at him. He has his eyes screwed as he tries to look at the sunset, obviously not liking the bright sunlight.

“You don’t?” You ask back.

“I think... there are more enjoyable things.” Donghyuck takes a while to make up his mind about what he wants, obviously trying not to make the things you enjoy sound bad to him.

“Then we should go.” You turn around, but he pulls you back to your original spot.

“We walked all this way, we’re watching this sunset even if my feet freeze to the ground.” He tightens his grip on your hand and speaks through his teeth, making you sputter out a laugh and hit his shoulder with your own lightly.

“Sometimes, I wonder why fate put us together.” You ask, watching as the sun moves bit by bit, leaving behind trails of light and the beginnings of stars and the vast universe on the other side of the sky. “We’re different. I don’t know about you, but you are not who I imagined my soulmate would be.” You speak truthfully.

Even though there are some strings attached to Donghyuck’s relationship with you, it didn’t stop you from thinking about what kind of person he’d be— what kind of person fate would pick to be your perfect fit. Maybe they would have some sort of major flaw, like an anger problem or a lack of common sense. Maybe they would be an alcoholic or someone who commits crimes.

When it came to your soulmate, you always thought of something bad considering that they were also going to hurt you in some way. You never thought that your soulmate would be someone as unique and fun as Donghyuck. Fate made it way too easy to be with him, and you’re not sure whether to feel bitter or thankful.

“Well,” He blows some air through his nose, “You’re exactly what I thought my soulmate would be like” Your heart jumps into your throat and beats irregularly when Donghyuck says that, struck with the feeling of surprise once again.

“Mark tells me you’re smart and get good grades, and I know it was you who ordered that soup for me the morning after you took me home when I got drunk. Not to mention, you went out when it was dark to take me home in the first place.” Donghyuck explains, his hand that’s still interlocked with yours waving around as he does so, “You’re willing to help others, you have a good head on your shoulders, and not to mention you guard your heart to the very end.”

“Guarding my heart… That’s an admirable quality? If I remember correctly, it caused you some pain in the past few months.” By now, the last rays of the sun are disappearing over the horizon and night begins to blanket the sky. You turn to your soulmate when he takes more than a moment to answer, watching the way his face reacts to the thoughts turning in his head.

“Yeah, it is a great quality. I think if you completely trusted me the moment you saw me on those stairs, we wouldn’t end up here now. You wouldn’t be the perfect fit for me if you loved me so easily.” He turns to you, a teasing smile playing on his lips. Your interlocked fingers are basically frozen together at this point and maybe your feet really have stuck to the ground, but his words warm you up from the inside out.

“I think I would’ve fallen in love with you even if we weren’t destined to be together.”

Somehow, he manages to remind you of one very important fact that you’ve set aside since the moment you met him. You’ve always put the fact that he’s supposed to hurt you first, and the fact that he’s your soulmate second. However, he is a human and so are you, and you’re both given the opportunity to love one another wholly and truly. People die to have this type of moment. People live their whole lives without experiencing this type of emotion.

It’s time to remember that Donghyuck is your soulmate, first and foremost. He is deserving of love, and you’re now willing to give it to him.

When you pull Donghyuck into you, he feels like it may be a hallucination. Surely your lips can’t be that close to his own. But when he smells the cinnamon on your lips from that churro you had and your fingers sliding up his arm to grip his jacket, he becomes scared that this might actually be a hallucination.

You slowly lean in, almost painfully slow, but Donghyuck doesn’t dare rush you. When your lips do meet, both of you feel complete. The feeling of finishing a lifetime’s worth of work with one gentle kiss is the most delicious feeling ever, different from anything that either of you have ever experienced.

It’s slow and careful, but passionate and full of true love. No matter what happens in the future, it will always be your memory to savor and remember for the rest of your lives.

“___!” You hear Mark’s voice from your right, turning your head quickly to see him stick his hand up in the air and begin to make his way through the throngs of people between you two. You move towards him, attempting to meet in the middle, but somehow he ends up behind you, and you laugh as you attempt to meet again.

“Hey, Mark,” You look over him, noting how well he manages to pull off the choir robe that everyone else seems to look like a sack of potatoes in, “I didn’t know your concerts could get this packed. You guys could start your own group and make it big.” You look around while adjusting the flowers in your hand so they don’t get squished against your chest.

“Nah, it’s mostly just families that come to these concerts. Since there are a lot of vocal majors, there are a lot of families that show up.” He explains.

“So, what does that make me?” You joke, but Mark doesn’t seem to get it and tilts his head to the side.

“You’re Donghyuck’s girlfriend. That makes you family, right?” At the mention of your relationship, you glance down at the flowers in your hand, the flowers that are meant for the aforementioned boy. You nod, mumbling something like a ‘I guess’ before Mark looks down at his watch and sucks a breath through his teeth.

“Okay, I have to go warm up. Make sure you get a seat in the middle, that’s where it sounds best.” He gives you a quick wave as he walks away, and you manage to send one back. Before you know it, the doors to the auditorium open and people flood in to grab the best seat they can.

You barely manage to snag a seat in the middle, an older lady to your right and a grandpa to your left who seem to be unrelated and didn’t mind you sitting between them. You shrug off your coat as you look around, feeling anxiety build up in your chest. You know you don’t have anything to be anxious for, so you deduct that it’s probably Donghyuck.

He invited you to the concert today. For him, it’s part of his final grade for his vocal class and for you, it’s a chance to see him sing on stage. Strangely, he has talked about how much he loves to perform but never wants to sing in front of you. When he told you he auditioned for a solo in one of the songs, and ended up getting the part, you knew you absolutely had to come today.

Pulling out your phone, you send Donghyuck a text saying that you’re seated and that you wish him to break a leg. You see the read receipt pop up next to your text, and although he doesn’t text anything back, the anxious feeling in your chest subsides and you smile to yourself.

“Those are pretty flowers.” Turning your head to the lady on your right, you glance down at the bouquet of black-eyed susans on your lap.

“Oh, thank you.” You put your phone on silent and slip it into your pocket.

“They’re my mom’s favorite.” Your attention turns to a kid who sits on the other side of the woman. He can’t be any older than ten, and his feet don’t touch the ground as he swings them back and forth and looks up at his mother.

“Oh?” You ask, turning back to the older woman, “Would you like some?”

The woman seems to be stunned by your question, obviously not expecting you to hand over flowers at such a comment from her son. She looks almost flustered as she shakes her head at you.

“No, it’s okay. I bet those are for someone special?” She asks while nodding towards the stage.

“They’re for my… boyfriend.” You mumble, still not used to the words leaving your tongue, even though it has been more than a few weeks now.

“Then you should save them for him.” She nods and you smile back.

“But I want one.” The woman’s son pouts, and the mother nudges her foot against his leg. You laugh a bit, using your right hand to hold down the bouquet and your left to pull out a flower. Carefully, you hand it over to the little boy and he grasps it, his pout turning into a smile while he sings a ‘thank you’ and counts the petals on the flower.

The woman gives you a nod, and you all turn to face forward where the students are beginning to walk onto the stage.

The concert went well; you weren’t familiar with any of the pieces of music the choir performed, and many of them were in different languages, but you still enjoyed the performance by the many music students from your university. You managed to catch sight of Donghyuck fairly quickly, and Mark was just a few rows behind him.

Donghyuck’s solo fit his voice perfectly. Maybe you’re biased, but you think no one would be able to match his tone and technique to fit the song as perfectly as he did. Since it was the first time you heard him sing, you were a bit taken back by how amazing his voice sounds and how much control he has of it. It didn’t look like he struggled to hit the notes, and he looked like he was in his element on stage.

After the concert, you wait on the staircase outside of the auditorium building where you agreed to meet up with Donghyuck. You roll on your feet, jumping up and down slightly to keep warm. You clutch the flowers to you, scared that the cold weather might cause them to bend and begin to wilt quicker.

“Oh, it’s the flower lady!” You hear a familiar voice call out, and you turn your head to see the little boy and his mom from earlier… walking with Donghyuck? He has his choir robe hanging from one arm and his other hand intertwined with the little kid.

“Do you guys know each other?” Donghyuck asks, looking between the three of you with confusion.

“We happened to sit next to each other during the concert.” The woman explains, a grin growing on her face as she looks between you two. “This is your soulmate.” She doesn’t say it like a question, she says it plainly and nods her head in content.

“I’m sorry, did you already know who I was when we met?” You ask her.

“No, until I saw the mark on your left hand. I would recognize my own son’s mark anywhere.” Son? This is Donghyuck’s mother?! Your eyebrows must be up to your hairline and you think your mouth might be open, but you can only focus on remembering every little thing you said to her before the concert started to recall if you said anything dumb.

“Let me introduce you properly. This is ___, my soulmate and my girlfriend. ___, this is my mom, Sara, and my half-brother, Hyunjin.” Donghyuck gently takes your elbow and pulls you closer to him.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You politely greet them as if it’s the first time ever.

“Well, I like her. She gave me a flower.” Hyunjin exclaims.

“Back off, she’s mine.” Donghyuck jokes with the kid. “Thank you guys for coming today, by the way.” He continues, “I appreciate my favorite people being here for my first college performance.”

Donghyuck goes to hug his mom as she sets a kiss to his cheek that makes him cringe away slightly. However, you’re still struck to your spot from being included into Donghyuck’s group of favorite people. There’s a warm feeling in your chest at being included into something so special so early on in your relationship. There’s also some anxiety that comes with it, since promises that are made too early hurt the most, but you push the feeling away and soak in Donghyuck’s unconditional love.

After you all bid farewell to each other, and Sara and Hyunjin leave, you turn to Donghyuck with a deadpan expression, “You didn’t tell me I’d be meeting your family today.”

“Would you believe me when I say that I forgot they were coming?” He asks and you roll your eyes, not believing his words at all.

“These are for you.” You push the flowers into his chest and dig your hands into your pockets so that they can finally get warm, “Your solo was… interesting to listen to.” You say with annoyance dripping from every word.

“Thank you,” He replies cutely, not affected by your irritation. You roll your eyes again, but a smile tugs at your lips as well. “What kind of flowers are these? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them?” He asks while digging his nose into the bouquet.

“Black-eyed susans.” You reply, and Donghyuck gives you a weird look.

“That’s such a random flower.”

“They attract dragonflies.” You explain, nudging his side with your elbow. When you glance over to him, he has a smile playing on his lips.

“Should I be giving these to you, then?” He hands them over, but you push them back at him.

“No way. I’m already attracted to you.” You state, turning around to walk back down the staircase. When you don’t hear any footsteps following you, you turn around to find Donghyuck kneeling over with the flowers clutched close to him.

“Are you okay?” Alarm rises in your chest, especially when he shakes his head at your question.

“No, you just made my heart beat really fast and I’m afraid I’m gonna have a heart attack.” You would roll your eyes again, but you’re afraid they might roll out of your head at this point. You climb back up the stairs and yank on his sleeve jacket to make him walk alongside you.

“___, feel my heart. I swear it’s going to beat out of my chest.”

“Shut up, Donghyuck.”

“No, seriously, I think we should go to the hospital.”

“Shut up.”

In the morning, Donghyuck loves to wake up next to you. He has always been a spread-out type of sleeper; arms to the side, legs open, laying diagonally across the bed. Once you two moved out of your dorms and moved into an apartment together during your second year of college, Donghyuck’s way of sleeping changed dramatically.

Now, he can’t help but snuggle in, wrap his arms around you, tangle his legs in with yours, and do everything he can to sleep as close as he can to you. Maybe that’s why he suddenly woke up. The absence of you next to him made him shuffle awake, missing the frame of your body next to his like how it usually fits.

He groggily opens his eyes and immediately shivers, catching the open windows in the bedroom letting in fresh, cool, morning air. Donghyuck shivers once again, blindly reaching for the blanket and wrapping it around his head and shoulders, then making his way out of the bedroom in search of you.

He checks the kitchen, but you’re not there. Then he goes to the living room, and he sees your figure outside on the balcony, the curtains that are supposed to be hanging up in your bedroom moving with the wind as they hang next to you. He tightens the blanket around him and opens the glass door. Even though you definitely heard him come outside, you don’t turn around. You have a cup of something warm next to you and you’re leaning against the balcony while staring out into the city skyline, watching the sun rise into the sky to welcome the new day.

“Good morning.” Donghyuck mumbles as softly as he can. When you mumble back a reply, he opens the front of the blanket so he can swallow you into his embrace. His chin rests on your shoulder and tries to guess exactly what you’re looking at, but when he lifts his head to look at your face, your eyes are closed.

“So, do you want to tell me why our curtains are out here and not on our windows like they should be?” He rests his head against yours, also closing his eyes.

“I woke up and suddenly felt the urge to clean them, I don’t know.” You laugh a bit, making both of you move with the movement of your chest. Donghyuck smiles at your reason; one of the things he learned about you when you moved in together is that your work ethic comes in random bursts of energy, rather than carefully planned out schedules to follow. You always have a small goal for every day, and sometimes you don’t even know what it is until it randomly pops into your head. Although he doesn’t really understand how you’re able to work like that, he loves this little quirk anyway.

“Did I wake you up?” You whisper and nudge your head into Donghyuck’s, nuzzling back into him when a particularly strong gust of wind blows over the balcony.

“Not technically, no. You not being next to me woke me up.” He replies.

“Well, I’m here now. How about we sleep some more?” You ask, leaning back against him and looking at his face.

“Best thing I’ve heard today.” He sighs. Without letting you out of his blanket trap, he walks you both back into the apartment and into your bedroom, both of you beginning to giggle at one point when you almost trip over the blanket and crash into the ground.

Thankfully, you both made it back safely to the bed, falling into the soft mattress. Immediately, Donghyuck gathers you in his arms and cuddles you to him, almost like he’s latching onto you. You wrap your arms around him slowly and lean into his shoulder, placing a kiss against his collarbone. You were going to stop there, but when he lets out a whimper at the small press of your lips to his skin, you continue moving up his neck.

When you reach the space underneath his ear, he twitches at how you suck on the sensitive skin, not expecting you to pay closer attention there. His hand slides over your back, between your shoulder blades, and back down, pressing you to him as he caresses you and silently hopes you don’t stop what you’ve started.

You don’t seem to have any intention to do that when you lean back, looking up at Donghyuck’s big, round eyes as they stare down hazily at you and quickly connecting your lips. He kisses back slowly, as if taking his sweet, sweet time in loving you.

“I thought we were supposed to sleep?” You ask between kisses.

“We can sleep later…” He trails off, grabbing your hand and pulling you on top of him so that you’re straddling his hips. “... If you’re really tired we don’t have to.” He suddenly pulls away, his hand comfortably resting over your waist.

“No way. It’s too late for that.” You answer, pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it to the other side of the bed. A chill runs through you at the cold temperature in the room, goosebumps forming over your arms and your nipples hardening. Donghyuck wraps his arms around your middle and presses a kiss in the valley of your chest, moving over until he reaches your left nipple and taking it into his mouth.

Biting your lip, your hands find his hair and tug on the long strands. Donghyuck’s hands squeeze your sides and his fingers draw random, little lines over your bare skin as he sucks and plays with your nipples, switching between each one.

“Hyuck…” You whine, giving a particularly sharp tug to his hair when he bites down onto your right nipple. “Please…” You trail off.

“Hmm? Please what? What do you want.” He leans back and looks up at you. You comb your fingers through his hair, pushing it back away from his face and behind his ears. His eyes are clouded and hooded over by the thoughts of you that are speeding through his mind.

“Please, make love to me.” You say it shyly, your eyes looking over his face but not meeting his own. He can’t help but smile at your timidness. You act like it’s the first time those words came out of your mouth. He can’t help but find it endearing how you ask him to make love to you every single time you find yourselves in this position.

“Of course, anything for you.” He connects your lips again, keeping the slow and steady pace from before. He shifts around as he moves his boxers away. Breaking the kiss, you move his hands away and pump his shaft, glancing up at him as he leans back with his weight on his hands and his head leaning back.

He lets out whines every time you twist your wrist, and you almost want to take a moment and stay this way, loving the sounds coming from Donghyuck’s mouth and how he looks as he pants beneath you. However, the tension growing between your legs makes you stop and sit up, pulling off your own pajama bottoms and underwear, throwing them somewhere along with your shirt.

Donghyuck grips your hips with one hand, the other pressing his middle finger to your slick folds, watching you squirm from above as he slides his finger through slowly.

“Just— Can you just do something already?” You almost whine out, grabbing onto his arm hard enough that you leave crescent moons in his skin.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure.” With your permission, Donghyuck positions himself at your entrance and slowly brings your hips down, watching your reaction throughout it all. The way your jaw slacks and drops open to the way you swallow when your hips meet with his, closing your eyes in pleasure at how he manages to fit inside you so perfectly. When everyone says your soulmate is made specifically for you, they really do mean in every way possible.

You sit like that for a moment, before opening your eyes and looking at your lover. He helps you move your hips up and back down, you let out a gsap at the sparks that fly up your spine. Your hips start to move in unison, yours grinding down and his moving up to meet yours in a steady rhythm, like a dance to music only you two can hear.

Your nails hurt when they move over his shoulders and chest, leaving temporary marks, but Donghyuck doesn’t mind. Actually, he loves it when you tug on his hair and scratch up his back, his whines turning into full out groans when you lean in and attach your lips to the side of his neck, pressing hot kisses down to his collarbone and biting down gently in the same place this whole situation started.

“H-Hyuck, I—” Before you know it, you’re so close to your orgasm, it’s basically right in front of you to reach out and accept.

“I know, baby, I know. You can come, I got you.” He answers back messily, using the last of his energy to keep your hips in place and drive himself into you. You let out a shriek at the sudden pleasure, only a few more deep thrusts into your hole and you’re falling over him as your orgasm spreads to every crevice of your body.

Donghyuck loves the way your muscles seize and flutter around him, making him pant and his thrusts become sloppy as he comes as well, his warm seed filling you up as he rides through his high. You both fall into the mattress below, you on top of Donghyuck, too tired to roll over and opting to just rest on his sweaty chest.

“I think that was way better than sleeping.” He says, his chest rumbling underneath you as he speaks.

“What a good way to tire ourselves out.” You yawn.

In the last few moments before your tired bodies fall asleep, you find Donghyuck’s hand and intertwine your fingers together, happily and contently falling asleep with the fresh air coming through the window and the sunlight now fully streaming into the room.

In the late summer before your and Donghyuck’s last year of university, you attend a wedding. Not just any wedding: Yuqi and Lucas’ wedding.

Although the ceremony is held outside, there’s a nice breeze that keeps the guests from getting too hot and sweaty in the summer sun. The whole wedding is held in a botanical garden and the place is decorated in white and purple, lilacs and daisies filling vases everywhere you go and freshening the air with their scent.

You and Donghyuck walk into the room inside the administrative building that’s designated for the bride. Yuqi is there, her face shining brightly with happiness and a glow that can’t be stolen from her today.

When you walk in, you let out a sound of delight at how pretty your college friend looks in her wedding dress, taking note of the chamomile flowers that adorn her hairpiece.

“Ah, I can’t believe you’re here.” She all but shrieks, embracing you tightly with her small bouquet still in her hands. After she gives Donghyuck a small, welcoming hug, she backs away to look at both of you.

“You look amazing today, I can’t believe you’re actually getting married. Congratulations.” You say sincerely.

“I can’t believe it either, actually. I feel like we’ve been planning this for forever, and now the day is finally here.” She recalls, a blissful look in her eyes even though you’re aware of how much stress she has had during the past few months over this one day.

“Are you nervous?” Donghyuck asks and you nudge his side and send him a look for asking a question like that.

“No, I’m not,” Yuqi laughs, “I feel one hundred percent happy. Like I’m starting the next part of my life with the one I love.”

“I’m glad you can spend the rest of your life with your soulmate, you’re definitely luckier than most.” You muse, and she suddenly softens her expression and takes your hand in hers, gently holding onto you.

“I’m not marrying my soulmate. I’m marrying the one I love. It just happens to be the same person.”

After bidding your farewells and good lucks, you and Donghyuck walk out of the room and head to where the ceremony will be held. He pulls out of sunglasses, propping them on the edge of his nose, and then grabbing your hand and strolling through the exhibits on the way to the ceremony grounds.

Yuqi’s words ring in your head throughout the peaceful walk, specifically how happy she looked to be marrying the one she loves. Somehow, you never thought about separating soulmate from lover; those two people have always been one in your head. You always thought that there can’t be a soulmate without a lover, and there can’t be a lover without a soulmate.

But the moment with Yuqi reminded you of the first time Donghyuck properly confessed to you, the words you can still hear floating through your head whenever your mind wanders off and thinks about him.

“I think I would’ve fallen in love with you even if we weren’t destined to be together.”

Maybe Donghyuck has been wiser than you this whole time. Not that you’d ever admit that to his face, unless you’d like to hear about it at least three times a week for the rest of your life.

Every memory— every year that has passed by with Donghyuck has only grown the idea of soulmate and lover further apart in your mind, and it took the matrimony of your close friends to realize it. You don’t think it’s a bad thing; in fact, you’re lucky that you can call your lover and your soulmate the same person.

You feel something tugging at your hand, and when you look over at your lover, he looks at you expectedly.

“Huh?” You say, dumbfounded since you’ve been in your own little world for who knows how long. Donghyuck laughs, bending over a bit at the funny, bewildered look on your face before straightening up and looking over to you again.

“I said, what colors should we do for our wedding? I personally think I look good in red, but I’m sure we can figure out something less contrasting.” He explains nonchalantly, you realize he’s kicking a random pebble around as you walk. Looking around, confused out of your mind, you turn back to him.

“Are we getting married?”

“Well, yeah,” He does something between a laugh and a scoff before leaning next to you, a serious look that permeates through the shade of his sunglasses, “You do want to marry me, right?”

Your brain is in a complete fritz. If you had a whole day to think about this you could maybe make up a sentence that resembles a sophisticated answer, but you can only shrug.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?” Donghyuck stops walking, “I just asked you if you want to get married, and you reply with ‘uh, yeah, I guess.’” He mocks your tone and it makes you roll your eyes at him.

“This is the first time we’ve ever talked about this and I got nervous.” You explain, making him relax and stand in front of you with his hands leisurely resting in his pockets. “Of course, someday I would like to marry you. I guess you’re… tolerable.” Donghyuck pushes you away from him and quickly walks down the path, twice as fast as he was walking before. You laugh and follow him, running slightly to catch up.

“Excuse me, Miss, would you like to leave a wish for the happy couple?” A sudden voice stops you, making you turn back around. A man stands with a camera, looking at you expectedly.

“Uh, how?” You look from the camera and back up to him.

“I’ll take your picture. You can write a wish on it and hang it up over there.” He points to the dozens of polaroids already hung up a few feet away, random people posing in the photographs with different color writing on every picture.

“Let’s do it.” Donghyuck comes up behind you, no doubt catching the last part of what the photographer said and pushing you lightly over to where there’s better lighting while taking off his sunglasses and tucking them into his shirt. The photographer asks you to pose, and you and Donghyuck smile for the camera, your eyes slightly shut due to the sun beating down on top of you.

“Great, how about one more for yourselves?” The photographer asks as he waits for the photograph to develop and you agree. This time, Donghyuck wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer so that your back is against his chest. You feel him rest his cheek on your head and drape his other arm around your front. You grab onto his forearm, not knowing what to do with your hands, and then suddenly the picture is taken and the photographer hands over both of the developed photos.

You take the second picture out of Donghyuck’s hands, not being able to look away. The sun seems to hit both of you just right, and the slight candidness of the photo adds another layer of reality to the picture. Donghyuck has a small smile while his cheek is slightly squished against your head, but he still looks as handsome as ever.

“What wish should we leave them?” He asks, picking up a golden sharpie from the table nearby, somehow already having his sunglasses back on.

“Maybe just… Congratulations on getting married?” You suggest.

“And a million other people will have the same thing. We need to be memorable.” He stresses and taps the end of the sharpie against his head. “What do you wish for Lucas and Yuqi?”

��I wish…” You think about it for a moment, “For them to have a lifetime of memories that they can share until the very end.” You nod.

“Oh?” Donghyuck looks at you, “When did you become a poet?” He asks as he writes that down at the bottom of the first picture.

“I’ve always been like this. I’m glad you just now figured it out.” You reply sarcastically, to which Donghyuck replies back with his own sarcastic laugh. He hangs up your picture close to where Mark and Xiaojun hung up their’s, and then turns back around.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” He pushes up his sunglasses with his ring finger and thumb, walking with swagger towards the ceremony and grabbing your hand while he’s passing by.

“If you’re going to be like this at our wedding, maybe I’ll have to change my mind…”

For one today being one of the most awaited days of your life, it started out pretty regularly.

You wake up from the ringing of your alarm, get ready, and go to your classes for the day. You had breakfast before you left, and lunch right before your last class of the day. Even work was boring as usual, but nothing beat going to the store afterwards.

When you got to the aisle filled with shoes, you were first puzzled by how many options there are. So many colors and styles, you didn’t expect to be so overwhelmed and accidentally spent almost an hour just looking at every individual pair. This had to be perfect. This was going to be a memory that you thought about for the rest of your life.

You call Donghyuck when you approach your front door, he answers almost immediately.

“Hey, love, what’s up?” He yawns through the words, and you can’t help but smile as you look down at the bag in your hands.

“Oh, I was just wondering when you’ll be home.” You open the front door and shut it behind you, taking off your shoes.

“I’m right outside of our building. Did you just get home?” He asks, no doubt hearing the front door from your side of the line.

“I’ll talk to you when you get up here then, see you.” You send a kiss through the phone and abruptly end the call. If Donghyuck is right outside of the building he’ll be up to your apartment in just a few minutes.

You drop the rest of your things down at the front door and hurry into the kitchen, setting down the small white bag with a lace bow on top in the middle of the kitchen table, clearing the table of anything else. You slide into a seat at the table, fixing your clothes nervously as you hear the front door open. Not even a few seconds later, Donghyuck walks into the kitchen, his eyes moving from you to the white bag and back to you.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, dead serious. Your nerves and anxiety, and maybe even some fear, must be strong enough for him to feel. You shake your head and pat the chair next to you. Donghyuck takes a seat, he came through the door so quickly that he didn’t even take his shoes or his jacket off yet.

“Open the bag.” You can’t help the excited smile and small clap of your hands as he reaches out and holds the bag. He gives you a quizzical look, but you only nod to encourage him.

Donghyuck unties the lace ribbon, looking down into the bag for a few moments. You can’t read his face and you can’t feel any emotions from him, and your anxiety grows tenfold. He reaches in and pulls out the little shoes, a light blue color with white stitching. They’re so small, they can sit in Donghuck’s hand perfectly.

“What are these?” He asks, still looking at the shoes in his hand.

“Well, they’re shoes… For babies. For our baby.”

At your reply, he does nothing. He doesn’t react at all, which only worsens your nerves and makes your leg twitch up and down as you wait for him to say something. He swallows and sets the shoes on the table, still looking at then with a blank expression.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah…” You reply, reaching out to put a hand over Donghyuck’s, “Say something.”

“I’m not sure what to say, this is very… sudden.” He tilts his head. Your stomach drops at the lack of emotion in his voice. You aren’t sure what you were expecting, but it was not this stoic expression in his face. Whatever traces of a smile that you had on your lips vanishes and you grip his hand tighter.

“I know this is not what we had planned. I know this is kind of… not good timing, since we’re still in school and not married, yet. But this is what fate had planned for us, I guess?” You’re not sure if you’re trying to console him or convince him, but the icky feeling in your stomach tells you Donghyuck’s reaction to the situation is not good.

“Yeah, fate did us real good.” Donghyuck replies sarcastically and you drop your hands from his, resting them in your lap. You can see the tears forming in his eyes even when he tries to look away from you, and you can feel the fear that’s boiling and overflowing inside him.

“I know you’re scared, I’m scared too. But we can get through this to—” You’re suddenly cut off by Donghyuck standing up abruptly.

“I’m not scared. I’m worried.” He rubs his face with his hands. “I’m worried that I won’t be able to support this kid. I’m worried I won’t be able to be here for you through it all. I’m so worried I’m going to end up like my father that I feel like it’s going to eat me alive.” He runs his hands through his hair, pulling his head back as he looks at the ceiling and paces around the kitchen.

“I never knew your father, but from what you told me, you’re nothing like him.” You stand up too, your legs feeling like jello.

“No, you don’t understand. What if I say something wrong and ruin this kid’s life like my father did to me? What if I can’t find a job after we graduate? Are you going to support all three of us? I can’t let you live like my mom did, it was too hard to watch back then and it’ll be even harder to watch now.” He suddenly stops, not giving you a chance to speak as he looks from you, to the little shoes, and back to you. “I can’t.”

“You… can’t what?” There’s panic rising in your voice as he shakes his head and backs away.

“I can’t be here, not around you or this baby. I won’t be a good father.” He turns and walks out of the kitchen, leaving you standing dumbfounded with tears brimming in your eyes. You move to the front door, watching at Donghyuck’s shaking hands pick up his keys and wallet.

“Are you leaving me? Right now?” He doesn’t look at you and he doesn’t answer, opening the door, “Wait!” You cry out. He stops, his shoulders tense and his hand clenching the doorknob.

“What about that promise you made me? Huh? You said that it’s not just a ‘you’ or a ‘me’ now. It’s an ‘us.’ You said you’ll do everything you can to not hurt us.” You ask, recalling the promise Donghyuck made back when you two were young college students, and a promise he has repeated and vowed to you over and over again every time your relationship got into a rough patch.

“I think… that what I’m doing is what’s best for us. It’ll be better if I wasn’t here. ___...” He looks back at your teary eyed figure with one last look of regret, “I love you. I’m so sorry.” And with that, he closes the door, leaving you all alone in your cold and dark apartment.

You jumped off of the bridge. You jumped off a while ago, actually, but the fall took longer than you expected. You thought Donghyuck would be there to catch you at the bottom, but he’s nowhere to be seen now. The fall was peaceful and enjoyable, a soft limbo between making the hardest decision in your life and the ultimate consequence of that decision. The fall was long and made you feel faux comfort, so when you reached the very end, it ended up hurting a lot worse. You knew jumping off of a bridge would kill you, so why did you jump?

You’re not sure how long you stand by the front door, but it’s long enough that the sun sets outside and the room turns dark. You stare at the door, waiting for Donghyuck to come back. You wait for the door to open and for him to run through, hugging you and whispering that he’ll be here for you. You can only walk up to the door and slide down onto your knees, your forehead pressed against the cool wood as you wait.

Tears run down your cheeks silently, your eyes red and your head hurts. You keep your forehead pressed against the door for the whole night, waiting for him to come back. You wait, and wait, and wait. Donghyuck never comes back.

Your heart rips open from pain, it feels like it’s bleeding onto the floor in front of you. Your mind is numb from any other emotion, your body is cold from sitting on the floor, but you can’t get yourself to stand up. That’s when you realize, this is it. This is how Donghyuck hurts you.

What a sick and twisted way for fate to finally serve up her plan. You almost forgot who Donghyuck is supposed to be; the one who loves you, and the one who hurts you the most.

— read epilogue here

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i-am-bitterly-jittery · 3 years

Text

Simply Meant To Be (pt 1)

An expansion on this soulmate blurb (no Virgil in this one though)

[part 2]

Rating: teen

Word Count: 2130

Pairings: Roceit, Intrulogical

Warnings: minor swearing

~~~START~~~

Roman is a romantic, that’s just a fact. He loves love. Any day he gets to watch two soulmates meet each other is automatically a good day. The second best day of his life was getting to watch Remus meet their soulmate when they were sixteen. The best day of his life is reserved for when he meets his own soulmate.

It hasn’t happened yet, but it will. One day.

For now, Roman is content with being colorblind (well not content, but he’s learned to not let it bother him too much). Remus and Logan are actually a huge help with that. Logan has even gone as far as to make a list of all of Roman’s clothing and includes a chart of what pieces do and do not go together based on Remus’ (admittedly professional) opinions, and Remus actually went through and labeled all of Roman’s makeup with what color it is and what kind of look it should go with.

Anyone who vaguely knew the twins might think that Remus would use this opportunity to mess with Roman, but Remus knows how much Roman hates being colorblind; they would never lie to Roman about colors — about other things? Sure, but not colors.

Remus and Logan met when Logan moved to their school from Georgia. One day Remus had claimed that there was a trail of color — they would later learn that it was navy blue, Logan’s soon-to-be favorite color — leading from the parking lot, to the main office, to the east wing. They’d chosen to skip first period in order to follow it, having never seen the trail before, and Roman, being unwilling to miss the opportunity to watch his brother meet their soulmate, followed him. Remus had walked right into a physics classroom, and straight for a boy with short curls and thick glasses that Roman had never seen before and declared him their soulmate.

Roman got detention for skipping first period, Remus got a pass on account of meeting their soulmate.

Most people met their soulmates before they turned twenty-five, after all, how difficult can it be when all you have to do is find the trail of color they leave behind them everywhere they go and follow it?

Well, as Roman has learned in his thirty-five years of being alive, it can be pretty freaking difficult.

As children, Roman and Remus had wandered their town far and wide looking for colorful trails, and even after they met Logan, Remus continued to go with Roman as he searched, even if they couldn’t see Roman’s soulmate’s trail themself. As soon as Roman graduated from high school, he took the customary gap year that most everybody who hadn’t met their soulmates yet takes to search for their soulmates.

He never caught a glimpse of anything.

“What if I missed them somehow? What if I saw their trail and just didn’t realize it?” Roman whines one day at his usual Saturday brunch — because they’re adults goddammit — with Remus and Logan.

“You wouldn’t have missed them, Ro bro,” Remus assures him as they do every time Roman starts lamenting about having not met his soulmate yet. “Colors are so unmistakable that there’s no way you’ll miss them.”

“And even if you are genetically colorblind — which is unlikely considering Remus is not,” Logan continues before Roman has a chance to respond. “I have read multiple papers that state that soultrails will still make themselves distinct. There are multiple accounts of the trails emitting light, absorbing light, or even emitting sound. All of that is, of course, on top of the translucent cloud that follows your soulmate’s every move. I find it improbable that you, of all people, would not have noticed a soultrail.”

“Yeah, I know you guys are right,” Roman sighs. “I just want to meet them! I’ve travelled all over the place looking for them, where are they?”

Remus says nothing, which Roman is grateful for because Remus has a habit of saying dark jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood, and Roman really doesn’t need to hear them suggest that his soulmate died in a car crash or something right now. Besides, the question is rhetorical. If Remus could see Roman’s soulmate’s trail, then he’s sure they would have spent the last nineteen years looking for them too.

“Sorry, I guess I brought the mood down,” Roman apologizes. “How are you guys?”

Remus opens their mouth.

“The PG version, please!” Roman rushes to say before Remus can mentally scar him. Again.

Remus closes their mouth again.

Logan rolls his eyes fondly and proceeds to get Roman up to date on all the high school gossip.

“- and of course the middle school’s robotics instructor left suddenly to follow her soulmate to England, so I have taken over as their advisor until a suitable replacement can be hired.”

“How is that?” Roman asks, cringing at the thought of having to deal with middle schoolers. Kids in general kind of freak him out, but middle schoolers especially.

“It has been fine, they are not as adept as my high school students, but of course for many of them this is their introduction to such things, so I’m trying to be patient and supportive.”

Roman snorts at that. He’s sure Logan is a good teacher, but his brother-in-law can be a bit short tempered, and has a habit of talking down to people who don’t understand what he’s trying to tell them.

“Don’t laugh at him!” Remus jumps in to defend their soulmate. “Logan’s great with kids, it’s adults he has a problem with.”

“They are much too old to be as ignorant as they are,” Logan defends himself resolutely.

“Of course they are, Sugar Butt.” Logan cringes slightly at the pet name, which is really all Remus is ever looking for with their pet names.

“Anyway,” Logan says, somewhat forcefully. “There is one student who seems to know what he is doing, but he doubts himself at every turn. I have tried telling him that he is doing everything correctly, but he is… reluctant to trust himself.”

“Maybe as the year goes on he’ll gain confidence,” Remus suggests. Logan hums in acknowledgment, and Roman takes that as the end of talking about Logan’s students. “Oh! Ro bro! Did you hear the theater got a new makeup artist?”

“Finally!” Roman groans, thinking back on their last makeup artist. “I swear Lisa was trying to poke my eyes out every time she did my eyeliner!”

“Oh she probably was,” Remus comments offhandedly. “I told her — back when she first started with the theater — that you thought that makeup artisting was a waste of time.”

“WHAT!?” Roman screeches, gaining the attention of the staff and other patrons.

“Roman,” Logan warns, growing uncomfortable under the curious stares.

“How could you do that to me?” Roman hisses at a much quieter volume. “I never said that! She hated me for five years because of you!”

Remus shrugs, slurping the end of their drink through their straw loudly.

“You better not make the new artist hate me!”

“I would never!” Remus gasps, clutching their heart dramatically.

Roman glares.

“Cross my heart!” Remus insists with a much too innocent expression.

“I hate you.”

Remus just gasps again before dissolving into uncontrollable giggles.

~~~

There isn’t rehearsal on Sunday, so Roman doesn’t have to go in to work. Unfortunately, he is saddled by the knowledge that Remus — as the theater’s costume designer — does have to go in today, and therefore has a whole day to lie to the new makeup artist about him.

Come Monday, all Roman can do is hope that Remus hasn’t done irreparable damage.

“Calm down,” Remus orders when they come to pick Roman up. “They weren’t even in yesterday; I haven’t met them yet.”

“I’m not letting you ruin my relationship with the makeup artist again,” Roman pouts.

“Just try and stop me!” Remus cackles.

Once they reach the theater, Roman practically jumps from the car before Remus has even parked.

“REAL MATURE!” Remus yells after him as he sprints for the theater door.

“THIS ONE IS GOING TO LIKE ME!” Roman yells back.

“NOT IF I MEET THEM FIRST!”

Roman skids to a stop as soon as he reaches the lobby. Not expecting their twin to just be standing there, Remus slams into his back, throwing them both to the ground.

“The fuck, Ro Bro?” Remus demands as they flop off their brother and onto their back.

“I-I see it,” Roman whispers, voice filled with wonder.

“See what?” Remus demands. “The lobby? You’ve seen the lobby bef-oh!”

The awestruck look on Roman’s face finally clicks, and Remus bounces excitedly.

“You see it? Like it it?” Remus scrambles to their feet, dragging Roman up with them. “Where? Which way does it go?”

“It looks like how the sun feels,” Roman says instead of answering. “All light and warm and good.”

“Roman Kingsley you tell me which way your soulmate went this instant!” Remus demands loudly. This is important dammit!

“It goes from there,” Roman points to the side door that’s usually used by staff that take the bus to work. “To there,” the door leading backstage.

“Excellent!” Remus cheers dragging Roman forward. “Time for your date with destiny!”

Remus throws the backstage door open dramatically, but Roman groans as he realizes that his soulmate’s trail is going in literally every direction, making it impossible to know which way they went last.

“Well?” Remus asks expectantly.

“Either my soulmate is familiarizing themself to the theater, or they knew I’d be here and are trying to spite me,” Roman answers somewhat dejectedly. “I can’t tell which trail is freshest.”

“Well shit.” Remus scans each entry as though Roman’s soulmate will just happen to wander in (plausible, considering they’ve trailed all over the theater).

“Hey guys!” A voice calls from by the dressing rooms. The brothers turn to find Thomas, the owner of the theater and their boss.

“Thomas!” Remus cries gleefully. “My absolute favoritest person in the world behind my incredibly sexy soulmate!”

“Okay, so you want something,” Thomas answers with an amused grin. Remus always piles on the compliments when they want something.

“Who’s new today?” Roman asks, more to the point.

“Like, in the theater?” Thomas asks. “Just Janus, the new makeup artist. Why?” Thomas’s eyes widen as if he’s just had a realization. “You’re not going to prank him or something, are you? He’s very talented, I can’t have you scaring him away already!”

“Roman’s soulmate is the new makeup artist? Lame,” Remus pouts. “How am I supposed to trick him into hating Roman?”

“Soulmate?”

“My soulmate is in the building, Thomas!” Roman declares, striking a dashing pose before deflating a little. “Except his trail leads all over the place, I don’t know where he went!”

“Oh… well,” Thomas looks to each direction Janus could have gone, but he clearly doesn’t know which way Janus would have gone. “He said he wanted to get a lay of the land before everyone got here…”

“I got this!” Remus pipes up suddenly before cupping their hands around their mouth like a megaphone and screaming at the top of their lungs. “JANUS!”

“What?” A faint, far-off voice calls back, followed but the sound of hurried footsteps. “Thomas?”

“Dressing rooms!” Thomas calls back.

Footsteps thunder down the stairs, and all too soon a man appears on them.

The first time you lay eyes on your soulmate, you begin to see the world in color. Everyone’s experience is different: Remus said that as soon as he laid eyes on Logan, the world exploded violently into vibrant shades. Logan said that colors appeared one at time, quickly, but slow enough for him to notice. Roman’s mom said that her soulmate’s trail swelled to fill the space before things slowly began to take on their proper color, and his mama said that it was almost like everything had always had color, she just hadn’t bothered to notice before.

For Roman, the man before him is painted in vibrant shades while the background remains in grayscale, but as soon as the man makes eye contact, his colors begin to slowly bleed throughout the space.

The man’s eyes widen as he stares, slack-jawed at Roman — no doubt mirroring Roman’s own expression.

“I’m Roman,” Roman says quickly, before Remus can forever ruin his first meeting with his soulmate by making a dick joke or something.

The man smiles and Roman immediately decides that his favorite color is whatever this guy’s eyes are — they’re hazel, but Roman will later change his favorite color to red after realizing how stunning and bold the color is when it isn’t just another shade of gray.

“Janus.”

~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~

General Taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly

@pixelated-pineapple

#ts sanders sides #sanders sides #roceit #intrulogical #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #Janus Sanders #character thomas #My writing #thursday writes #fanfiction #fanfic #creativitwins #princeit #soulmate au #simply meant to be au

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just2bubbly · 3 years

Note

Imagine Angsty Kaider about breakup their relationship bc E.C not accept Cinder as empress, i need that.,,,

Masterlist

Well anon firstly 'Thank You!' for sending the ask, I definitely enjoyed writing it- I might have also grown attached to seeing it in my ask box but it's about time I replied to this, I know I took forever but you had popped up the request when I had already written 'Sometimes Love Stays' and I wanted to write in a new light so I too a long time, but here it is without further ado!

Love Hurts, Love Heals!

Ship: Kaider

Words: 3k

Genre: Angst

A/N: Italics present in the further part of story is a flashback.

Cinder's Perspective:

"Kai! What were you thinking?" she barked.

"Your Majesty, are you hurt?" Torin enquired.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Your- "

"Gosh, Kai stop making shitty excuses!"

"It's nothing really, you both don't have to fuss over me."

"You don't get to tell us that after pulling that stunt!" she exclaimed.

"I did not know those people would backlash like that. Besides, I can't stay hidden in the palace forever!" he reasoned to his furious fiancee.

"Don't you go logistics on me right now. Get cleaned up I will bring the first aid box- Torin keep an eye on him for me!" she ordered.

"Sure You- Cinder." He replied breaking out of his habit to call her 'Your Majesty'.

As she left the room, they both exhaled, Kai, laid on the sofa and seemed to flinch as his arm hit the soft cotton inside.

"Kaito, you really should not have done it," he said preparing himself to give the young reckless and selfless Emperor quite an earful.

"Not you too, Torin!" he groaned.

"Why would you go out knowing that there is a public backlash over the prospect of you marrying Cinder- any person in their right mind would avoid a public event like the one you held- that too without prior notice to your own advisor! Why would you put yourself in a position of danger like that??"

"I can't hide forever just because I'm marrying Cinder, can I now Torin?"

"You can't- but you can choose to wait for things to calm down first. Honestly, I wasn't expecting such an extent of backlash over the prospect of your marriage."

"Same, I thought it would die down in a week or two, it's been going for months now with no signs of peace out and now I'm really doubting of what will really happen at the wedding. I'm afraid things are not going to turn out as I wanted them," he said, rubbing his forehead that was injured and looked red with the young man's dried blood.

"You should wash up Kai- at least before Cinder comes back, she is really worried."

He nodded grimly and asked, "Do- do you think- er, wonder if-"

"If the wedding would have to be called off?" Torin provided.

"Yes... I'm doubtful of what the future holds for us."

"Kai, whatever happens, happens for good and only good will happen with you both. Don't stress yourself over that," he urged.

Kai smiled bitterly and said, "The past doesn't seem to agree with that. "

They both shared a choking silence- one which reflected upon the uncertain and bleak future of the Emperor and his fiancee.

"She is going to be a handful today."

"I know."

"She was scared for you Kai, from what I know of her she will shut herself out rather than hurt you. I'm afraid she might be walking on eggshells right now."

"She is not sleeping well- we both are on the edge for a while now. The worst of her expectations are coming true," he confessed.

The shut of the door was enough indication of Cinder's arrival.

"Why haven't you cleaned yourself yet, Kai? Shoo, now- Torin thank you for looking after him. I hope you have yelled at him for his mistakes."

Torin grinned at her and said, "I will leave you to that, I just merely helped it start."

Looking at the sofa where Kai had been recently sitting she said, "We have avoided it too much- I'm just going to get over it for once and all."

"Don't give him a hard tonight," he requested.

"What are you two conjuring up behind my back?"

"How to kill you before you do it yourself," she criticised, saying that she was cross with him would be an understated lie.

"I will take your leave - don't want to be stuck in between the crossfire. Take care, Kai and Cinder, take it slow!"

"Good night Torin- thank you for today."

"Night Torin and sorry about it."

And as Torin left the room only for the remaining two to confront their problems- that they had been avoiding to talk about as long as possible.

"I'm sorry, Cinder."

"I don't care," she said and walked towards the plush green sofa.

"Come here," she required and Kai followed in her footsteps.

As she drew his hair back with her metal hand to analyse the damage, the cool metal helped ease the dreaded feeling he felt about the issue at hand.

"Where all are you hurt?"

"Besides the injury on the head, I have a small scratch on the elbow and I might have also sprained my leg in the hurry," he told.

She exhaled sharply and asked, "Why did you go?"

"Uh- I had postponed my meet with factory owners for a long time now and well, the common people learned about my arrivals and a mob was present when I reached- I could not control the situation so-"

"Stop underselling yourself- you could not have done anything before an angry crowd. Nothing! However, you should have at least told me or Torin about it. Torin- he has to know- he is your advisor!" she yelled, calmly if that was possible, her voice quiet and slow but a note higher than usual. It was a tone that would scare the listener and make him feel guilty.

"You would have denied me from going- it was necessary! After the announcement of the engagement, things are stagnant among the aristocrats- quite tense for a while."

"Are you blaming it on us now?"

"I never said that!" he retorted.

"You implied it."

"Can we not have this conversation tonight?"

"How long before you agree that we have to talk about the problems our engagement has caused?"

"It has not caused any problems, Cinder-"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I have reached a point where I neglect my problems until it loses the essence."

"It's not going to work this time- not with us in question."

"Not today, Cinder," he requested.

"C'mon Kai- we need to-"

"Please," he said pleading with his eyes for her to let go of this topic.

"Fine but we are not talking about it first thing tomorrow," she declared.

"Okay."

They turned silent as Cinder looked at his wounds- applying antiseptic that stung slightly but he didn't complain.

"Remove your coat so I can check your arm."

"Uh- Cinder you might have to help me out-I'm unable to fold my elbow due to the stinging sensation."

She helped him out the coat and rolled up the sleeves of his dress to get a clear view of the cut. He hissed when her hand met near his elbow.

"Sorry."

And as she discarded his suit, dropping it on the floor and looked at her fiancee's arm, she gasped, "Kai."

"Ahh..," he cried through gritted teeth. It was a patch of a red and blue bruise along with a pinkish tissue scar and blood dried around it. The injury was by no way minimal.

"We are going to the medical wing now!" she exclaimed and tugged at his non-injured hand.

"Cinder it is 2 in the morning- I don't want to bother anyone."

"There is always someone in the medical wing who is awake to look after the Emperor if the need comes so ever!" He was truly testing her patience- was he always like this?

"I'm not going."

"Why can't you and I agree on something for once?"

"You are being adamant."

"I am but aren't you being reckless?"

"I have to run a nation."

"Exactly what I'm talking about. Running a country requires sacrifices, Kai- I know it."

"I'm not doing it."

"Why can't you just discuss the problem?"

"You promised we would not talk about it today."

"Let's not destroy our future over something as frivolous as love, Kai!"

"Fuck, Cinder but we are not 18 anymore to call it trivial- we are engaged."

"People call off their wedding all the time, Kai. Why make it a big deal?!"

"It's because I want to marry you. I'm the Emperor, I make the laws here and I want to marry the person I love. Ain't that acceptable terms to you or the citizens?" he yelled, loudly in her face.

"Kai aren't you understanding?! Y-you almost fainted because you are marrying me!!"

"It was a stone Cinder, NOT a bullet-"

"Are you waiting for a bullet to call off your wedding then?!"

"Are you so desperate to not marry me?"

"Yes," she said not thinking her words through and soon realizing the mistake she had committed. Hurriedly, she responded, "Kai I didn't mean it I'm-"

"Why say yes if you were so against the notion of marrying me then!" "I- it came out wrong. I just don't know what to do. My heart wants to marry you- my conscience tells me to disappear for the remaining of my life so I won't hurt you anymore."

"You are hurting me anyways, Cinder."

"I'm sorry, Kai," she murmured and sat in silence, her head hung low from embarrassment. The sudden silence followed by a lot of loud pitched yelling felt too harsh.

"I'm so sorry, Kai but-"

"Don't apologize and leave like you don't love me- just wait, hold on for me, for us. Stay with me. Don't leave me, please!" he said his voice wavering in the end. He was trying not to cry- he looked so vulnerable at that moment. Halting her inner turmoil and internal debate of convincing Kai to let her go, she enveloped him in a hug- a tight embrace to comfort him before a final blow. She drew circles on his back, it helped to calm him down while she prepared an argument.

"You have to understand, Kai," she said at last when he had calmed down. He sniffed for a minute before looking straight into her eyes- his chocolate brown eyes daring her to defy him.

"Promise me."

"I won't."

"Marry me."

"Kai, why don't you understand- what's the point of love that hurts more than it heals?"

"Our love is not hurting me."

"Then I am," she said sighing and looking away to the electronic portrait kept of them. Unlike their present, they looked so happy.

"I think we should let go."

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that."

"Kai," she breathed with a heavy heart and a painful head. At least one of them could cry their heart out. This was being more difficult than she had expected. She held his hand and calmly looked at their intertwined fingers, she looked at the matching bands they were wearing- a gold ring with two diamonds and their respective birthstones in the centre. A carving of wire cutters on the underside. She was going to miss wearing the ring, she was going to miss him.

"Sometimes love doesn't mean two people living under the same roof, it doesn't mean them getting married- I think we are that kind of people. We don't need a ring to prove our love. So let's not bind ourselves to the norms of society. We almost had it, Kai, that's what matters. We have come so far. Thank you for loving me, Kai!"

"I'm not calling off the wedding. No matter what you say, what I have to go through - I'm not going to do it. I know what I signed up for when I asked you to marry me. You know what you agreed to when you said 'yes, we expected this all along- I don't want to run from the first sign of danger."

There was no use convincing him so she left- she might as well catch up sleep before her meeting at 7 in the morning.

The silence stretched between them- there was no distance between but the gap that their love was feeling right now was immense- it divided them like the river divided two adjoining lands, a full stop dividing a sentence, like an axe chopping off the branches of the same trees. They were Kai and Cinder. They were two intertwined lives, separated by the same fate, separated by the same prejudice, the same stigma.

Lunars, Cyborgs and Earthens, just the boundaries created by the human mind. Weren't they all humans, living because of the same oxygen, dying because their hearts stopped, surviving as a society, hating each other as a society. That's what humans are best at- hating each other, never trying to stand united but pretending as they do. Cinder was angry- a burning passion of fury in her heart to the wretched people who had hurt Kai, who were protesting against their marriage, who had been the cause of all her problems for a while.

"Send the witch back-"

"Lunars don't deserve to-"

"She is controlling the Emperor-".

Those were the very words that had been spoken by the crowd of people while Kai was away- that was the tiny part she had heard before Torin had closed his device.

"I'm really sorry Cinder for what you are suffering. I can't believe they are protesting against you after all that you have done-"

"It's okay Torin, it's not like I can wipe out prejudices overnight. Is Kai okay?"

"The guards say that he is slightly injured but other than that he is safe."

"You sure he did not tell you before going?"

"He did not. I'm sure he had a reason but I have no idea for why he left before informing."

Kai did not join her for a long time. There were sounds- tearing the bandages, hissing at various times, clearing the mess left behind, dropping stuff, the noise of flowing water. She felt sorry to give him a hard time while he was suffering but he wasn't understanding the prejudice people had in their minds and hearts for cyborgs, irrespective of if they were marrying the Emperor or not. They did not care whether the Emperor loved them or not. He was destroying his future, his public image for her.

Swiftly she felt the mattress dip when Kai sat on the very corner, hunched on the foot of the bed trying to get a hold of his emotions. No one said anything.

"Cinder," he called.

"Hmm.." she replied.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm tired, Kai."

"Please Cinder- don't go."

"What's the use in waiting Kai?"

"We deserve happiness Cinder, believe me- please!"

"I want it too but-"

"No buts Cinder."

"I don't know, I'm so tired of all the shit we are going through. I want a break, just a minute to breathe."

"You don't have to leave for that."

"I can't do it by staying here as well."

She looked at him, his hair was dishevelled and wet from the recent shower. He had changed into his pyjamas. His body looked fresh but his face showed concern. She cast a glance at his elbow- the bandages were sloppy but they would hold for a night - at least until she took him to see Dr Chang herself.

"I'm afraid Kai- I just don't want to become an example of right people wrong time. We are both being two ahead of our times is what I'm feeling. I'm not sure I can handle this for the rest of my life," she confessed what had been eating her mind for a whole lot of days.

"You love me?"

"Obviously, I do."

"I love you."

"I know."

"That's the only thing that matters."

"It's not Kai- you don't want protests because of our wedding. I don't want headaches because of it. I don't even know what I want right now- a good night sleep, some calm, being a human, you- the list is so long and I have not achieved any of it," she rambled.

"Look at me, Cinder," he said, lifting her chin up to look into her eyes, "- we are going to make it. Even with all the troubles, we are going to be together."

"You don't say things that are not in your hands, Kai."

"I know- but I know you will be my wife, the love of life and my partner for the remaining of my days and no one's going to change it. Trust me on this one."

"I want to."

"Then do it- no one's stopping you, just hold my hand and I will be there for you through thick and thin, through pain and misery and joy and love- I will be there to rub your shoulders after a busy day, I will stay beside you when the world leaders keep complaining on a boring day, I will be there to make you breakfast on Sundays and to bring you to bed when you stay out late in the palace garage. I want to just be there for you. Allow me to do that."

She breathed his smell- fresh sheets, cedar and sharp mint, she remembered how she joked he smelled like 'freshness in a person'.

It would be easier to leave him than to be with him- the hardships, the guilt and the regret that would come with leaving him alone would be impossible to deal with. Even if she goes through all the trouble to keep it away from him, to keep herself away from him, she might wake up one day thinking that if she had only been a little more strong enough to hold on for them- she would have been married to him, she would be the one who knew the cause behind all his laugh lines and she would be the one to make him laugh on a bad day. She could be the one- that she could have been that person if she had just tried instead of letting go, and that thought was what made a difference. However, there would be no point fantasizing 10 years from now when the time to do the right thing had already slipped from her hands.

"I won't leave, Kai. I promise."

A sigh of relief, followed by a bone-breaking hug and some sniffling and weeping along the way and murmured 'thank yous' and 'I love yous' was all that they required.

Love hurts, love heals but the most important thing is staying in love. Forever and Always, that's what it needs. In the end, some people are worth the pain, they are worth the fighting you have to do for them.

A/N: We are done! I couldn't help myself- I just love to bring Torin in each and every fic I write, tbh he deserves more representation so sorry not sorry! ;)

It was angst with an happy ending so I guess I fulfill @cinderswrench latest wish as well!

I think it would be good to say that I don't have any angst lined up for a while unless you all are kind enough to make some angsty requests!!

Thanks for reading! and for the readers who read on WP I have not published there yet!

Tagging: @cinderswrench @gingerale2017 @shellyseashell @shelbylmkaider @kaider-is-my-otp @linhcinder686 @kaiderforever (Tell me if you wanted to be added/ removed!)

#anon asks #love ya anon #requests #just2bubbly writes #just2bubbly fics #kaider #the lunar chronicles #tlc #marissa meyer #emperor kaito #linh cinder #empress selene #selene blackburn #konn torin #angst #love hurts love heals #fanfiction

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spicysoftsweet · 4 years

Text

Blow - Hisoka x Reader **NSFW**

A/N: This is what happens when you get lack of sleep, extreme thirst and feel like listening to Beyonce. Please enjoy this songfic, it’s dirty af.

Song: Blow by Beyonce here - highly recommend you play this song (WITH HEADPHONES) when reading this.

---

I love your face

You love the taste

That sugar babe, it melts away

You weren’t exactly sure what to do about Hisoka Morow.

You navigated life as though you were not entangled with the magician, carrying on day to day without bothering to factor him into your plans, working and seeing friends as usual, only to come home and crash onto your bed, passing immediately into a deep slumber. He had a tendency to ruin all of your plans whenever he appeared without warning anyway - in fact, you were pretty sure he lived for it.

But your days with him were pure magic.

I kiss you when you lick your lips

I kiss you and you lick your lips

His lips, always sweet like cotton candy, met yours with fervor, always suddenly, always hungrily the instant he returned from a long absence. Sometimes he didn’t bother to say hello, greeting you instead with an open-mouthed kiss, strong fingers steadying your jaw and a hand firmly grasping your bottom. Once he’d taken your breath away with such a strong entrance, he would pull back and grin, gazing at your half-lidded eyes and the softness of your expression when your mouth was left slightly open and wanting, reveling in the power he had over you.

“Did you miss me?”

You like it wet and so do I, you like it wet and so do I

I know you never waste a drip, I know you never waste a drip

I wonder how it feels sometimes

Must be good to you

It never took long before Hisoka’s head was between your legs, whether it was hovered over your body splayed across any surface (your bed, your couch, your coffee table, your counter… so on and so forth). Maybe he prepped you by peppering your body with kisses from head to toe, sometimes paying extra attention to the sensitive, taut nipples with an almost inappropriately gentle roll between two of his fingers, sometimes not. Regardless, he always descended on you like a natural predator, and your body responded in turn to the swish of his tongue in and out and around that space below, alternating with a pump or two of his fingers.

Keep me coming, keep me going, keep me coming, keep me going

Keep me humming, keep me moaning, keep me humming, keep me moaning

Don’t stop loving ‘til the morning, don’t stop loving ‘til the morning

Don’t stop screaming, freaking, blowing

Your mouth cries out his name in whispers, then moans, then groans as pleasure courses through you like multiple electric shocks. Your thighs tighten around his head as you try to keep composure, holding in the lewd indulgence overflowing from your insides, arching your back, biting your lip, closing your eyes…

Can you eat my skittles?

It’s the sweetest in the middle (Yeah)

Pink is the flavor

Solve the riddle (Yeah)

His hands grip your inner thighs as his tongue plunges in as far as it can go and you cry out as he stops moving inside you.

“Shit, Hisoka!” You scream, and you can’t tell if you’re mad that he started, mad that he stopped or mad that he exists. His thumb flies automatically to your mouth, a silent command to suck. Hisoka looks up at you, then down at you as he rises, his narrow eyes gleam with lust.

“Don’t come, darling… not yet,” and he palms your quivering cunt with the rest of his hand.

Imma learn back

Don’t worry it’s nothing major

Make sure you clean that

It’s the only way to get the

Flavor

“How bad do you want me?” His hand still covers the expanse between your legs, your sex is literally in the palm of his hand. He’s teasing you.

You bite your lip and cease from answering, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of telling him how much you need him right now and he narrows his eyes even further then slips not one, not two but three long, slender fingers in a fluid, rapid motion and curls them inside you, hitting just the right spot.

You find yourself letting out the filthiest sound and his chuckle is soft as he brushes his lips against yours.

“You can be stubborn but your body isn’t,” he purrs into your neck.

When you’re thirsty and need love.

I give it up ‘til I’m empty babe.

Must be good to you

If you’re lonely in your bed, fill it up to the top

Must be good to you

When he bottoms out, his impressive length sheathed entirely inside you, you’re face-down with your face stuffed into a pillow to muffle the sounds that seem to jump out of your throat. His hands massage your ass in between long, deep strokes, and you swear you can feel him in your diaphragm. Your breath hitches with every thrust and you’re still moaning indecorously. You’re almost embarrassed by the sounds you make but you hope he never stops. You’re enraptured by the way he feels inside you, and his own passionate groans let you know he probably feels the same.

Keep me coming, keep me going, keep me coming, keep me going

Keep me humming, keep me moaning, keep me humming, keep me moaning

Don’t stop loving ‘til the morning, don’t stop loving ‘til the morning

Don’t stop screaming, freaking, blowing

The room is filled with the sounds of sin, flesh slapping flesh and body fluids mixing together. Your bodies are coated in the thinnest layer of sweat, you more than him of course, and you swear he can ejaculate on command, timing it with the very moment your back arches violently in pleasure.

He moans your name once, and maybe you came a second time even more powerfully than the first. It’s not normal for you to feel this attached to someone. What does it mean to be this passionately linked to another? Especially when you’re not sure the lust they have for you will ever turn into something more akin to love?

“I love you,” you whisper, as you settle into his embrace. Your breath is still rapid and soft, and your heart beats fast against him. He holds you tighter, but he doesn’t say it back. Instead he brings one of your hands to his mouth and kisses the back of it.

You smile softly, noticing he can’t bring himself to say it back. Instead you change the subject.

“Hisoka, how long are you staying this time?” You demand to know, tracing a finger on his chest. The trickster glint in his eyes intensifies as he looks into yours.

“How long do you want me to stay, kitten?”

---

I can’t wait ‘til I get home so you can tear that cherry out

Turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out

I can’t wait ‘til I get home so you can tear that cherry out

Turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out

I want you to turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out x4

The next day, you stand side by side with your research advisor, holding out your phone so that the two of you could take a look at the phone application you’d pulled up to demonstrate.

“See, all you have to do is plug in these values -“ you tap the screen a few times with your fingertips before holding it back into position, “and it does the math for you!”

With this, you turn to grin at the old man, quite proud of yourself, but his face quickly went from a look of wide-eyed interest to a look of even wider-eyed unease as your phone vibrates once, then twice in your hand.

Oh no…

Your stomach turned as you brought the phone close to your face, hunching over slightly, and checked your messages frantically. You already assumed the worst and you hoped you were wrong.

Unfortunately for you, your suspicions were spot on.

Come home right now, kitten, read the first message. And the second:

I plan to turn you inside out, my dirty little minx~

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...

You could feel your face grow hot as a furnace, and you put the phone in your lap as your research advisor rose to his feet, and placed his hands behind his back, clearing his throat.

“I… er… think it’s probably a good time to dismiss you. It looks like you have something… important to attend to.”

As you walked out of your boss’ office, wondering if this moment of shame would mar the two and half years of impeccable work you’d kept up, you swore that this time you’d give Hisoka the biggest talking to of a lifetime.

Ooh, I’ve had a nasty thought today, baby

Every time I close my eyes

Talking never worked on Hisoka.

In fact, while you were still walking home and giving him an earful through the phone, you only heard a soft hmm of response ever so often. An exercise in futility.

Then your phone buzzed suddenly mid-rant and you realized he’d sent you a picture of his dick, and you let out a scream of frustration and hung up. Unfortunately, you were already in front of your door, and before you could consider making an about-face and going elsewhere for the rest of the evening, he’d already sensed your arrival.

You could hear the door swing open and Hisoka stood, leaning against the doorframe, his eyes glinting and seductive, and his fiery red hair only slightly drawing attention away from his very fit body, very nude save for a tight pair of boxer briefs.

“Where are you going, kitten?” He purred. “Wouldn’t you like to unwind after work?”

Your mind said no, but your body said yes.

But you steeled yourself. “You put me in an awful position today, Hisoka! Stop making jokes!”

“I’m sorry, darling, but wouldn’t it be better if I put you in some more favorable positions?”

With that simple statement, he hoisted you up, and brought you back into your apartment and you just didn’t fight it.

Bring ya work home on top of me

I’m-a let you be the, be the boss of me

I know everything you want

Give me that daddy long stroke

As you lay against him, worn out for the second night in a row, you realized how far deep you were. Suddenly you hoped he wouldn’t stay. Your feelings for him were… dangerous.

Can you eat my skittles?

It’s the sweetest in the middle (Yeah)

Pink is the flavor

Solve the riddle (Yeah)

#hisoka #hisoka x reader #songfic #blow by beyonce

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xsugarysweetsx · 3 years

Text

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 9

A/N: sorry this took so long! A bit messy but, I like it (:

Warnings; childbirth, F L U F F, crying Iwa,

Previous Next

°°°° °°°° °°°°

After about 2 hours into the night, the healer had finally come out of the room. Hajime nearly jumped from his seat and over to her.

“Well? Is she sick? What does she need?” He was willing to pay any price for the best medicines to he’s you. Yet the elder woman smile up at him

“King Iwaizumi, you should keep your composer as your father did.” She commented “your queen is not sick nor poisoned. This was common when your mother was expecting you”

What did his mother have to do with this? When she was expecting- wait, she couldn’t mean-

“Are you saying....is she-“

“She is with child, I suspect it only to be a few days, about 7. In the next month she must be careful, make sure she eats plenty, and rests plenty.” She informs him before opening the door carefully. Taking a deep breath filling his chest, he steps inside and walks to your bed side. Thoughts racing through his head as he approached,

She’s pregnant....we...we’re having a child. I, need to be the best possible father and husband for them. I won’t let them slip form my fingers like I let my parents....it wouldn’t just be him and you anymore, now it would be three of you

“Hajime,“ you turn your head and sit up and leave a side for him to sit on “so, she told you?“ you guessed judging by the look on his face.

“Y-yes...she did“ he said quietly taking a seat. He didn’t exactly seem so happy, and it made you worried. It was unexpected but then again, this wasn’t a surprise when you two had been intimate. But did he actually feel ready to have a child? You wanted to be a mother at some point, but fate had other plans.

“Do you...want the baby-“

“Yes!“ he cut you off “I couldn’t imagine nothing better..I-I“ he took a deep breath and took your hands in his “I’m afraid but I’ve never felt more happy than I do right now” he gave you a sincere smile

“Really?” Tears had stated to blur your vision “I-I was afraid you’d be upset”

“How could I be upset when the love of my life is carrying my child?” He whispered softly resting his forehead against yours. His lips nudge and gently kiss yours as his large hand comes to rest on your lower abdomen

“Something we’ve made together from our love....I couldn’t be happier my dove” this time a year slips from his eyes as he holds you close to him in this moment. Your life and his will be changed forever.

After that day he was more protective than he had ever been. He had your wardrobe changed into looser more comfortable dresses. Your meals were maid with only organic products. You rested more and you no longer did any work around the castle.

He refused to have you overworked while carrying your baby. He wanted you to have an easy pregnancy. He knew pregnancy can be difficult for woman so he just wanted to help. Of course you would always say

“I’m not even showing yet” and he would say

“Our baby is still in there though”

In a way, he was right.

~~~

“B-but look at me!” You cried to your husband as you stood in nothing but your undergarments. You had to get dressed for a meeting with officials and advisors but your usual dress that you loved didn’t fit. It had always made you feel your best but now that your belly was growing, it wasn’t working.

“But Dove, you look beautiful with your baby bump” he tried to comfort you

“But I look so fat, in my dresses now” you sniff “I’m not as beautiful as I was before”

“Hey, hey,“ he cups your face “you, are the most stunning woman I have ever seen in my life. To add on, your my wife and you’ll be the mother of my children. I see nothing but beauty right in front of me“ he pecks your lips and wipes your tears away

You felt a little bad being so moody but he always knew how to make things better. He helped you find a dress that was comfortable for your belly, he helped with your hair and make up. All while making you feel like a goddess.

When you thought about it, you wouldn’t think you’d be here today. Happily married to a man you had never met, and expecting a child with him. The same feared king who reigned with an iron fist, was now the love of your life, and the father of your baby.

But you don’t want it any other way.

“It looks like an island“ he joked as you both soaked in the bathtub. You had decided to take a warm bath together to sooth you aching body. You belly has grown much more from the last time. Which also meant your body was taking a toll. Your feet ached and so did your back from the extra weight being added on.

Lucky for you, you had a loving husband ready to pamper and care for you. He suggested a bath which sounded heavenly. So here you were resting against his chest as his large hands run over your bump, where your baby rested. The very tip of your protruding abdomen stuck out of the water.

“What do you want a boy or a girl?“ you ask him

“As long as they get here safe and healthy, I don’t care over gender“ he hugged your body closer. He leaned down and kissed your shoulder, just then something moved. His eye shot up to where his hand laid, it was also where his baby had just moved!

“Did you feel that!?“ you exclaim excitedly

“Wait- They can do that? Does it hurt?“ he asked stunned at what he just felt

“Of course they can, and not really, it wasn’t too hard“ he just didn’t know what to say

“...thank you“ he whispered you turn slightly to look at him confused “for everything, you gave me a second chance and now a family. Thank you“ he said kissing your forehead

“Awh, I love you too Hajime“ you smile pecking him on the lips

“what is all of this?“ you ask laughing walking into the lounge room full of family and gifts

“Well, when there’s a new baby is coming, a party is held for celebration and gifts“ looking around the room you then took notice that your father was also there. He stood up with a wide grin and came over to you and hugged you carefully.

“Father what..I when did you get here“ you ask him resting a hand on your now swollen belly

“Well, your husband here had sent guards to my home and I thought you’d done away with his head and were in trouble“ he explained making everyone chuckle knowing, you would do it if he got out of hand “But they told me I was invited to the palace and Hajime had told me you were expecting“

You looked at your husband and he gave you a wink bringing his hand to your lower back. He walks it you to the couch and sits with you. Your midwife had told you, you were nearing the end of your pregnancy. You were a bit nervous about it but, you were excited to meet you baby.

One by one gifts and blessings were given to you. At first all these faces were very intimidating but now they were very familiar, even gave you a warm feeling. They had all brought you beautiful gifts

His uncle had brought a crib, and his wife brought blankets for the upcoming winter. His cousins brought books and toys for them to enjoy. Your father then came with a smaller package

“I know this won’t be much but, I found someone to fix it up so you could hand it down to your little one” he handed you the small thing, wrapped in paper. Removing the paper you gasp as you see what it was. It was the stuffed bear you mother made you when you were a baby. She had sewed and stuffed your very first toy. Over the years it lost stitches and even ripped in a few places, but he got it fixed.

“I-I...father...” you couldn’t help tear up from his gift. True it was not luxurious nor expensive but it had a lot of meaning to you. Now to be able to pass it down to your baby made you cry

“Don’t cry dove“ Hajime said wiping your tears

“I-I love it...“ you father chuckled and came to lay a kiss to your forehead

“I knew you would“ he smiled down at you. You wipe your eyes and look around the room

“I’m so grateful for all of you and these gifts, I couldn’t ask for more“ you thank them all “And thank you for allowing me to have a chance here“

“Even though it was by force?“ his uncle joked earning a slap to the head from his wife

“Yes, even if it was forced“ you giggle

“I will admit, I thought you wouldn’t have lasted a day here“ said Joan spoke up “But, you’ve....passed my expectations.“ you were guessing it was her way of complimenting you and you simply smiled. You lean slightly against Hajime as his hand stroked your arm gently. He now knew you were starting to feel like you belonged here, with him

“If we expand any land over here we’d be able to welcome newcomers to the kingdom-“

“You majesty!“ his advisor was interrupted by Rose bursting into the room out of breath “I-I’m sorry but the queen is in labor and wan-”

Nothing else had to be said for him to bolt from his seat and to the infirmary. You were 10x more important than any meeting or contract. He tripped over the carpet that laid on the floor as he came to a sliding stop at the door. He swings it open, his eyes finding you in a light sheen of sweat. He ran over falling to his knees

“Y/N I’m sorry I was with advisors a-and- “

“Don’t worry it’s only started...I’ve been here for about 20 minuets“ you say with a smile but soon it fades into a grimace of discomfort. He picks your hand up and brigs your knuckles to his lips. He watched as you tried to keep your breathing steady

“How long will this take?“ he asked the midwife

“It can be anywhere from a few hours to the whole day you highness“ the midwife explained coming with a rag to wipe your head. It passed in just a few minuets but it hurt.

“Do you need anything? Are you thirsty?“ he asked ready to deliver you the world

“N-no...just a little scared is all“ you chuckled trying to hide the panic.

“I’ll be here the whole time....right here.“ in the past kings were usually not allowed in the room during the delivery but he wanted to be there.he wanted to hold your hand, and comfort you while you went through labor.

It had gone on for quite some time. The pain would come and go. Switching you from a relaxed state to a tense pained one. It was hard to watch you this way. He did what he could, wipe your tears come hold you, massage painful spots. Soon it was sundown and night was coming and there was no baby yet, but the pain definitely grew

“Hajiiiii!“ you whine squeezing his hand as a contraction tore through your form. How could something hurt this bad?? After it past you were left sweaty and panting

“How much longer will this go?“ Hajime was starting to become irritated from you staying uncomfortable. As a product of his protectiveness, he gets angry whenever it concerned you

“The pain is becoming stronger which means she may be close to delivering the baby sir”

He looks over to you and moved your hair from your face. He leaned in and kissed you gently “Fetch her some water.....please.” one of the other midwives ran to serve you a glass of water

“They’re..almost here Haji..“ you say his nickname out of energy

“Yeah they are“ he whispered to you “You’re so strong Y/N...“ he compliments

“Stronger than you?“ you try giggling

“hehe yes, stronger than me“ he chuckled back. Suddenly your grip became stronger as a groan like scream ripped from your mouth.

“The baby is coming! Get the blankets and water ready“ the elder midwife called to the others as she rushed to the end of your bed. Flipping your dress just above your knees she takes a look “This is it your highness, get ready to push“

Oh gods...this was it, he day you both dreaded and longed for. Hajime gave your hand a squeeze as if saying he was there with you. You could feel something like a weight shift down lower only increasing discomfort.

“Okay, on the next pain you feel, you need to push my lady“ she informed you getting ready for what was to come. Just as she said the pain came but worse and you tried your best to bare down what you could.

“Aaaaahhhhhh!“ you scream ripped from your throat, all the advisors and servants must have heard you. You were close to breaking his hand from the squeeze you gave but he didn’t mind, you were in pain and mostly because of him.

“Breath my lady annndd.....push!“ another push into nothing but pain

“You can do this Y/N, I’m right here“ he encouraged you. Somehow you felt it push you to keep going. It felt like it was never ending, push, scream, breath, and repeat. The sun had set long ago and it was the dead of night and you just didn’t want to go anymore

“I-I Can’t Hajime! It hurts too much!“ you sobbed wanting to give up

“They’re almost here Y/N“ he tried to get you back to pushing “I know, you’re in pain but the sooner they come the sooner it will be over. Now come on, break my hand if you have to but push!“

And push you did. After 3 long pushes filled with screams and tears and there was a point where time had froze

“Keep going!-“ and that was it, everything slowed down, muffled almost. All you saw and heard were the cries of your baby. “It’s a boy your majesties..congratulations“ she smiled as she began to clean him up

“O-oh Y/N!“ Hajime rests his forehead against yours, his tears falling on to your face “You were incredible, so so strong....thank you.“ he repeated thank you like a prayer

“Here he is my lady“ she handed you the small warm bundle and oh how your heart ached in joy

“Hello....hello my little one“ you pull back the blanket and felt your tears roll down. This was the baby made from your love and you were in absolute bliss. Hajime sat on the edge of the bed holding you both close to him. Carefully you pass him to Hajime and his gaze soften so much there wasn’t a wrinkle in his face

“My son....my beautiful boy...” he whispered as he grazed his nose against his head to kiss his nose “I will never leave you, nor abandon you.....I love you so much” he turned to you and cupped you face with one hand carefully to deeply kiss you.

“And thank you, my beautiful,*kiss* powerful, *kiss* intelligent, *kiss* wife....I love you more than the sun loves the sky.“

°°°° °°°° °°°°

Taglist; @vanilla-beanzz @hp-hogwartsexpress @sugarysweets-appreciation-blog @sophie-duck @mysteriousmagicx @toutorii @mystic-starlove @leviiiiiiiii @heavenly-warlord @birdiewolf @bakarinnie @postsfromthe6 @yatoatyourservice @lola2001 @kameko-ko @chewymoustachio @kaidas-daydreams

#haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader royal au #haikyuu x reader arranged marraige #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu!! x reader #anime #anime x reader #fanfiction

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mimssides · 3 years

Text

Nerver Met You

Chapter 2: First Steps

The hardest steps to take are the first ones. The ones which will take us away from our past, away from our pain but also our love.

“You may stop,” Janus said as the man fell back into a defensive stance to fight off yet another soldier.

The soldiers retreated and the man looked over to Janus, his gaze filled with anticipation and a considerable amount of exhaustion. Janus had had him fight for a good hour after letting him unload the flour carriage, cleaning the stables and run the training course of the military recruits. He had been up since five in the morning and between the chores he had questioned him about his past.

The man, he still had not given him his name, not even an initial, was in his early thirties, born and lived all his life in Theana and knew far too much about their political situation for a usual commoner. Janus had also let his men run a background check over the stranger but there was no one who seemed to know or even recognize him in the slightest. Which was very weird considering how memorable and eccentric the man spoke and presented himself after Janus had gotten him to talk a little more.

With a wave of his hand Janus motioned him to come closer. With light steps, not showing how much his legs must be aching and the straightest posture Janus had ever seen, the man walked towards him and halted right before him with a curious look.

“Yes, you may speak,” Janus said without thinking why he knew that the man wanted to say something.

He wiggled his eyebrows, shimmied his shoulders and said: “What’s next, chief? Wanna see me sweat and bleed some more? I can lose some layers if you'd like.”

“Yes, because you have so many layers to lose,” Janus deadpanned looking at the tunic with no signs of an undershirt beneath it and the loose pants the man was wearing.

The man snickered and let the wooden staff he had been fighting with rest on the ground as he held himself upright with it. The view was oddly endearing even though Janus was a little annoyed.

The mysteries around this odd man really intrigued him at this point but he had no way to find out more. It was not that the man did not want to cooperate, he simply couldn’t. Several times Janus had asked him personal things and he had tried to answer just to begin to cough and hold his throat again. Which most likely meant that this man was cursed.

Which should have been enough. Which should have meant that Janus would send him on his way and not truly consider Logan’s silly request of making this man the king’s personal guard. And yet Janus was looking at this odd man once more and let himself consider it.

The picture of Patton cradled in the man’s arms reappeared in Janus’s mind and he decided to dig one last time in the man’s past for now.

“You were well-versed in calming the boy. Did you work with children in the past or how does it come that you knew exactly what to do with him?” Janus asked hoping that this was vague enough so the man could answer it.

The man’s grin disappeared and he straightened up again. Alerted Janus watched as he for the first time didn’t meet his gaze and looked down to the side. He was biting his lips and clenching and unclenching his fist before he stretched his fingers and looked back at Janus again.

His voice was rather raw as he said: “I didn’t work with children but I was a kid once too and – I've seen some shit as a kid. I’ve been through trauma and I remember how hard it was a s a kid to deal with it, so I tried to help him the way I wished someone would have helped me.”

Janus gulped. Something twisted in his stomach as he forced his expression to remain neutral and told him: “I apologize that I had you revisit those memories. And for the record, I am sorry you had to go through this alone. You might not know it but despite my untrusting nature I do believe that every person deserves support in their times of need.”

The man faintly smiled.

“I did know. And thank you for your compassion but I wasn’t alone. I had my -”

***

Today was a mournful anniversary for Theana. It had been a year since the assassination of the king and queen and Janus was walking towards Crown Prince Roman’s quarters, since he had rung the bell for him. He needed to get there quickly; Roman was not one to send for him or anybody for the matter.

The Crown Prince had been reclusive and antisocial during the year of mourning and had not spoken a single word with anybody since that day. Janus had tried to get him help, had asked █████ to help him with it but █████ had denied him. He insisted to give Roman space and leave him be despite it breaking his heart.

Janus frowned. █████ was suffering under his ███████’s silence. Roman was the only blood family had been left and his previously so sunny and loud personality was lacking immensely within the castle walls. As the Royal Advisor, Janus knew he had to get Roman back to health again, since █████’s psyche would otherwise decline even more. This first year as a child ████ had been so hard on him and he needed some semblance of hope. And he needed it soon.

Janus forced a neutral expression on his face before he knocked on the door and waited for the small bell to chime once which meant one could enter. The bell chimed and Janus entered.

On the cushions on the bay window Roman sat and stared outside. As Janus approached, he turned his face towards him, without meeting his eyes, and slowly got up. Just like █████ he had had a growth spurt and no longer looked like a child but like an adolescent. He was tall for a thirteen-year-old, rather slim and was wearing a black tunic and pants, as every day since his parents’ death.

Patiently, Janus waited. It usually took some time until Roman made known what he wanted and Janus dared to wait as long as needed. Then Roman lifted his hand and brought it up towards his lips with a small gesture. Janus nodded and asked to confirm: “You wish for some water, Your Royal Highness?”

Roman nodded and Janus got the water carafe from the tray in corner of the room. Quietly, he filled it with water and gave it a short once over with his eye of truth to make sure it wasn’t poisoned and then handed it Roman.

Graciously, Roman took it and sipped a few tiny sips as Janus stepped back and watched him intently. The work he did here was not the one of the Royal Advisor but one of a guardian or a servant. But then again, Janus was still a child himself, many of his more complex duties were still taken care of by his father.

Because Janus still had a father to take care of the complicated and dangerous tasks the court had in stall for him. And while Janus felt grateful for it, he also felt guilty the longer he looked at █████ and Roman in their his position. Especially on a day like this. And thinking of the many things he still had to do, he was about to bow in front of his Crown Prince and excuse himself to leave when Roman raised his hand as a sign for him to wait.

And so, Janus waited. He watched as Roman opened his mouth, quietly cleared his throat and took again a sip of water before he at once looked up and for the first time in a year met Janus’s eyes.

A shiver ran down Janus’s spine. There was a force and might behind the gesture that was inexplicable to him.

“I will attend to the speech and the mourning festivities. Tell my ███████ I will stand by his side,” Roman spoke with a voice far stronger and slightly deeper than Janus had remembered him speaking before.

Never had Janus thought that on this terrible day something good, no something so wonderful, could happen. He didn’t even care that tears were rolling over his cheeks and that his whole body was shaking in front of a member of the Royal Family. He especially didn’t care as Roman’s pulled his brows slightly upwards and a faint smile decorated his lips.

Quietly, Roman walked up to Janus and put his hand on his shoulder. A gentle squeeze and a deep breath.

“Am I understood?” Roman said ever so softly.

Eagerly, Janus bowed his head and excused himself as Roman turned towards the window again. The moment Janus had left the room, he began sprinting down the hall towards █████’s quarters. With tears of joy still dripping of his cheeks he passed by the guards and ignored their calls to stop and stormed into █████’s room, where he was preparing his garments for the festivities.

With furrowed brows █████ eyed Janus and stepped away from the tailor who had been making the last adjustments for his outfit. He waited for Janus to catch his breath and the young Royal Advisor sloppily wiped his face and tried to compose himself.

As Janus took his time, █████ grew antsy and eventually asked him before he could stop himself: “What happened?”

Janus looked up. There stood his ████ in a black tunic and black pants just like Roman had worn this morning as well. His hair was just as curly, the eyes just as green, even the face was just the same. And yet Janus had never mistaken him for Roman.

“Your ███████-” Janus panted and saw █████’s face fall and added hastily - “He spoke! He said he would attend to the festivities and be by your side.”

Janus did not complain as █████ simply stormed out of the room. He followed despite his burning lungs and more guards shouting. And he knew it was all worth it when he watched █████ reaching Roman’s room and enter without knocking. He knew it would be alright when █████ flung himself in Roman’s arms and cried into the nape of his neck as Roman quietly told him that it was okay.

***

A coughing fit, far worse than those before overcame the man and Janus stepped to his side to stroke his back in a calming manner. The man quickly put on hand on Janus’s shoulder to steady himself as the coughs slowly subsided and he found himself breathing normally again. As he finally had finished, Janus let one of the guards bring him some water and the two of them walked to the edge of the training ring and sat down on a bench.

The man was breathing heavily and his hands were shaking from the coughing fit. Almost Janus reached over to him and help him drink from the glass so he would not spill the water but stopped himself in the last moment. This was ridiculous. He didn’t know this man, he was a stranger and a potential threat. He was not supposed to care about him and help him out on a whim, Janus reminded himself and shook his head.

“I think this is enough for now,” Janus said and stood up.

The man wanted to follow suit and but Janus stopped with the words: “You have deserved a break after the assessment. I will talk with the king about your position and will let you know what we decided soon after. You may now return to your quarter and wait there for the next orders.”

The man gaped. Janus could imagine why; he was not known to be merciful or kind. He had always been harsh and demanding unlike Roman, who he had supported during all of his life and had always been warm-hearted and forgiving despite the lessons life had taught him. Janus had needed to protect the too pure man and it had made him cynical and cautious. But there was something in this stranger that awoke just the same protective instinct which usually kicked in when Roman was around.

“Seize this moment of my sentimentality, stranger,” Janus said sharply under his breath knowing fully well that his left eye was glowing golden, “for it will not come upon you again. Enjoy your break and make sure that I won’t have to regret this. Otherwise, you will pay for it.”

A nod followed and Janus left the training grounds. The man watched as he instructed a few guards to bring him back to his quarters and he followed as the led him back there. Not that he needed their guidance to find the place.

Quarters was a generous name for a square room with a kitchenette, a table with a chair, a closet and a bed. There was a small bathroom with a toilet and a water faucet where he had freshened up last night. Judging his sweat drenched clothes, he would need to go to the baths for the soldiers which would be an interesting experience for him.

With a sigh he sat down on his chair and ruffled through his curly hair. What was he doing? Why did he come back to the castle? This was torture to him and it wouldn’t do him any good to stick around here any longer. He should leave. He really should leave before the prince would come to the castle. After that he would be hopelessly lost.

Tock, tock.

The man listened up. With furrowed brows he stared at the door.

Tock, tock.

Now it sounded like a question somehow and the man decided to answer and got up.

“Yes?” he asked and opened the door to not see anybody stand in front of it.

A tiny cough sent the man’s eyes looking downwards and there he found Patton standing in front of his door. The little boy looked up at him with a shy smile and before the man knew it, he crouched down to his eye level and returned the smile brightly.

“Hello Patton! It’s so nice to see you again,” the man said softly and Patton giggled a little.

“It’s nice to see you too! I was looking for you in the whooooole outer courtyard! It’s very big, and my legs aren’t very long so it took me a while to search it all,” Patton whispered quickly and leaned forward as if he was telling a secret.

“I see,” the man stage whispered back to Patton’s amusement. “How did you find me?”

“I asked one of the guards! She was very nice and said it was very nice of me to come and thank you for saving me.”

The man’s expression shifted. He looked surprised and Patton furrowed his little brows at that. Why was his saviour surprised? Was it that unusual to ask guards for help? Didn’t grownups ask for directions as well? How did they not get lost all the time?

“You want to thank me?”

Patton was very confused now. Why was this grownup so confused that someone would thank him for helping them? That didn’t make any sense!

“You don’t make any sense! Of course, I want to thank you!” Patton said and put his hands on the man’s knees causing him to look at him with big eyes. “You were very nice to me and saved me and are very cool and I didn’t thank you and you’re supposed to thank people for helping you and I forgot because Sir Will Suffice told Ms Anouilh that we can go and I was still a little scared from suddenly being no longer on the street and that’s why I came now to make it right!”

The man still looked a little surprised but now he seemed more relaxed and he was smiling and Patton really like this man’s smile. He really, really liked him.

“That is very kind of you, Patton. I feel honoured that you came all the way to my tiny quarters just to thank me,” the man said and Patton beamed at him.

Happily, Patton jumped on the spot and told the man: “It’s no problem! And I didn’t even thank you yet!”

The man chuckled as Patton stepped back and bowed before him and said: “Thank you very much for saving me yesterday, Mr …”

Patton looked up and frowned. The man tilted his head in question until he suddenly got what was most likely the problem.

“I have not even asked for your name! That’s very not polite of me!” Patton whined tears forming in his eyes.

Reacting quickly, the man shot forward and put his hand on Patton’s shoulder. He smiled at him and wrecked his brain of how to console him most efficiently and how he would explain to him that he was unable to tell him his name without upsetting the emotional kid any further.

Eventually the man settled: “It’s alright, Patton. I’m not hurt that you didn’t ask for my name. You had other very scary things in your mind and if I was you, I might have forgotten to ask something like that as well.”

Patton calmed a little and rubbed his eyes dry. He didn’t see it but the man gave him a proud look for calming down so quickly. Patiently, he waited for Patton to finish collecting himself until he was ready to finally ask: “So, can you tell me your name now, mister?”

The man bit his bottom lip. He could not lie to this child. He simply couldn’t give him a fake name.

“I really want to,” the man said a bit shaky, “but I can. Like I really, really can’t.”

Patton frowned adorably and shook his head.

“Do you not know your name then?”

“I do know my name.”

“But you cannot say it?”

“No, I cannot say it.”

Patton mused for a second.

“Can you write it down?”

The man thought for a moment as well.

“I don’t think so. Can you already read?”

“Not well, but I can read the letters of my name! There is a P, an A, two T’s, an O and an N! That's six letters because there are two T’s!” Patton explained excitedly and the man giggled.

And as the man giggled Patton had an idea.

“We could make up a name for you! Because everyone should have a name and making up things if fun!” Patton exclaimed and the man’s expression grew even softer.

“That’s a great idea, Patton. What name would you think should I have?”

Patton pressed his pointer finger against his forehead to make the thoughts come faster. With a serious expression he looked all over the man to find his first clue.

“You’ve got curly hair like me but it’s brown, which isn’t super rare though. So, we can’t call you Curly or Brown, I think.”

“Very well deducted.”

“Mhm. Soooo -” Patton looked into the man’s eyes and for the first time noticed their colour - “green! You’ve got very pretty green eyes! I like green second best after pink, so that would be a very good name, I think!”

A smile spread on the grownup’s face and at once he pulled Patton into his arms and quickly jumped to his feet, eliciting a joyful shout from the boy. With a big smile he tickled Patton’s belly and the boy giggled hysterically. Eventually, the man stopped torturing Patton and safely placed his arm under his butt and the other over the little boys back to hold him securely, as Patton slung his legs around the man’s waist and his arms around his neck.

“I really, really like that name, Patton. Thank you so much for giving me such a pretty name,” Green said and watched Patton look at him with stars in his eyes.

“You are welcome,” Patton said proudly. “And thank you for saving me yesterday Mr Green.”

Green pushed some of Patton’s curls out of his face and simply smiled. Something about this little kid in his arms made him inexplicably weak and he wanted nothing more than hold him tight in his arms.

“You don’t smell very nice.”

Green could not help but chuckle as he looked in Patton’s displeased little face and ruffled his hair. With a playful brow wiggle Green shook the boy before he put him back down on the floor.

“Well, apparently you were saved by a stinky old man, huh? What a bad luck you’ve got, kid!” Green joked but Patton did not look very amused.

In fact, Patton looked almost like he was going to chide Green any second now. And then he actually did chide him: “This is not funny Mr Green! You want to smell nice and look nice! It’s very important! You need to look after yourself!”

“Oh, it’s very important?” Green gently said and Patton nodded intently.

“Yes, it is! Mrs Rose, she takes care of us in the orphanage, always says that! It’s because people will like us better when we look proper and take care of ourselves and then we get a new home and maybe a softer bed and maybe, maybe goodnight kisses and hugs, so you need to go to the baths and clean yourself! It’s super important!”

Green blinked. He pressed his lips into a firm line, brows furrowing and inhaled slowly. Then his face relaxed again and he let himself sit down in the door frame while still looking down at Patton. At once Green was very tired and it took a toll on him to keep smiling but he did it anyway.

“I see, but I’m not supposed to leave this room, kid. Also, I haven’t been to a – the bathhouse here, so I don’t know where it is and what rules to follow,” Green explained patiently.

That statement did not seem to satisfy Patton. Before Green could ask what he was thinking, the little boy had turned around and ran towards one of the guards close to the stables and talked with them as he pointed towards Green. And just moments later Patton turned back around and ran to Green with very determined look in those little eyes.

“Get some spare clothes and your towel! Mrs Guard has allowed me to show you the baths because you are stinky and need a bath and because she trusts me because I am very reliable,” Patton announced.

Green gaped. He simply gaped at the audacity from little Patton. From this boy that was looking at him with the biggest eyes and more certainty than Green had felt in the last 48 hours combined. And in his surprise, he went to grab some clothes he had been given, a towel and then took Patton’s hand, who led him happily towards the baths. Idly chattering Patton talked to him and greeted whomever was passing them until they reached the bathhouse.

Green stopped. He didn’t know what to do next. He had seen this place many times from the outside but never from within. Everything was a lot right now and he felt overwhelmingly lonely and clueless in this moment.

“I can come with you if you want.”

The voice he heard came from his side and finally Green remembered Patton who was still holding his hand and looking up at him with these trustworthy eyes. This most likely should be the point where Green should have told Patton that it was fine and that he should go back to Ms Anouilh in the weaving mill. But he didn’t.

Instead, he squeezed Patton’s hand and said quietly: “That would be very nice of you, kid. I’m - I’m a bit lost on my own right now. But you don’t have to if you don’t want.”

Patton smiled and pulled Green behind himself while he answered and led them to the dressing room before the baths.

“Oh, I don’t like bath time a lot, but it’s always much funnier with others around and you are fun and I like to help, so this is fun too!”

The bath was mostly empty as it was early afternoon and most soldiers didn’t shower during that time, so Green and Patton could take their time. And they needed that as Patton explained exactly how Green needed to get in line, when many people wanted a bath and how to put away his dry clothes in one of the lockers so they didn’t get wet. He did all of it with much passion and Green had a good time as the kid and he undressed and went inside. Quietly, he made sure that Patton washed all the soap out of his hair when they had finished and helped him dry himself once they got back to put on their clothes.

Not once Patton stopped talking and not once Green felt alone again. It was no surprise to him anymore, when he asked Patton if he wanted a snack after helping him out, that the little boy agreed with a bright smile. And so, they went back into his little quarter and he found some eggs, salt, milk and pepper in his kitchenette to make them some scrambled eggs. Patton at first insisted that this was only breakfast food but came around quickly, when Green allowed him to turn on the stove and help him make sure that the frying pan got hot enough before they put the eggs inside the pan.

A couple of minutes later Patton and Green could sit down and eat their meal. Patton talked the whole way through, Green not thinking of reminding him to close his mouth when he was chewing. This kid seemed to have so much to talk about and he was more than willing to listen. And Green liked how his words filled the room and his head and his heart. He liked how he didn’t feel so forlorn with Patton around and he hoped that he did a good job of taking care of him in return. He did not want him to get used by him. He just wanted to see this tiny face be happy and the boy being save. It’s all he wanted. At least in that very moment.

As they finished, Green put their plates away and then went to wipe Patton’s face with a napkin he found in one of the drawers. Patton wasn’t that happy about it but soon forgave him, when he scooped him up from his chair and let him sit on the table as he hugged him tightly. For a moment Green was close to cry but it passed and he relished in the embrace Patton clearly enjoyed as well.

Tock, tock.

Green frowned and softly pulled out of their hug which caused Patton to whine a little. He shot him an apologizing look and went to the door. Subconsciously, he fixed his posture and opened it to meet the gaze with the guard, who had let Patton bring him to the bathhouse. He bowed his head and kept his mouth shut waiting for her words.

“I was sent by the Royal Advisor. I am here to inform you that you have passed your evaluation and will be instructed to your new duties first thing in the morning, if you wish to pursue the position,” she said firmly but not unkindly.

It took a moment for the information to settle. Janus and Logan had spoken and agreed to keep him around. It left him feeling so many things at once yet his face remained blank. He licked his lips slowly and nodded his head.

“Thank you for this chance. I will be ready in the morning to receive my instructions,” Green answered dutifully.

The guard raised her eyebrows and angled her head slightly. He mirrored her not quite knowing what her in thoughts were in the hopes he might maybe understand her through mimicking.

But it didn’t help him to anticipate the next thing she said: “So, you accept?”

“I- I don’t have much choice, do I? With no permit in a time where King Gerogy is a real bitch I have to accept any leniency that is shown to me.”

Green’s hand shot in front of his mouth. That was too direct. He shouldn’t have said that. Jan was right, he really needed to watch his words better, this would cost his head. This would mark the end of him.

And then it didn’t.

The guard laughed and she shook her head.

“You were given a choice without any attachments. You can deny or accept and will not face any form of punishment. It’s the king’s will.”

The king’s will.

How had Green ever doubted Logan?

Green bowed his head and felt Patton hold onto his leg as he came from behind. There was so much he needed to protect. So much that meant the world to him.

“Then I will be honoured to accept this position,” Green said and bowed deeply.

___

Link for AO3, Taglist, Masterlist, and next Chapters are in my first reblog!

#intrulogical #romantic roceit #remus sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #Never Met You #fantasy au #eir writes #please reblog

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prettyflyshyguy · 3 years

Text

Oops I wrote more C virus stuff

I got super energised and spent all night drafting up a one-shot about what happens when Ashley reunites with Leon post RE6 in the C-Virus AU cannon. It’s unfinished and is very much a draft, but I’m excited so I wanted to post what I have so far. I intend on compiling a bunch of these together and putting them up as chapters on AO3 and Fanfic.net once they’re edited, featuring various different characters.

You came this far just to become a Monster - The Aftermath

A brief summary: Ashley visits Leon while he’s stuck in quarantine. It gets a bit emotional.

I’m assuming the President in RE6 was the same in RE4 despite the uh long time difference between the two games. It’s 9 years and I’m Australian so I know nothing about American politics but I think a president can only serve 8 years in one stint so uh maybe he’d just been elected in 4 and was just running out of time before he died in 6? I’m rolling with that for the sake of my head-cannon/AU storylines. It makes sense given Leon was described as being good friends with him, and we can assume the friendship started once he got Ashley back home safely after the events of 4.

Given Ashley was 19/20 during RE4 she should be 28/29 post RE6 depending on her birthday.

The conversation with Hunnigan echoed in her mind as she walked down the labs corridor.

“While pursuing Chief Security Advisor Simmons, Leon became infected with the C Virus. He’s OK, don’t worry. It’s just we’re still running tests to make sure he’ll stay ok.

I know the report I gave you didn’t have much to go on in it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t allowed to provide you with much more information. You’ll just have to wait until you can see him for yourself.

He’s happy to talk with you, you can go down to the labs today if you’d like.”

“He’s happy to talk? You mean I can’t see him?”

The warm smile was betrayed by the sorrow in Hunnigan’s eyes.

“He’s still adjusting to everything. He’s spoken to a couple of our doctors and he’s dealing with a lot of internal negative emotions right now, about what people think of him. I don’t think the tests are helping.”

Hunnigan reached out and gently held Ashley’s hand, squeezing it lightly.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you visit. It’s what he really needs right now. Trust me.”

Standing outside the viewing room door, holding her keycard at the ready, she steeled herself. The way the security staff described the setup, Leon had access to a shutter system on the viewing window, giving him control over how and when visitors can see him. It allowed him much needed privacy given his life since coming home was endless tests and scans and scientists.

Tapping her card against the reader, the light flicked green and she heard the lock release. Pressing down on the cold handle, she slipped inside. There was a small coffee table near the viewing window, the shutter was down. A few chairs were on the far wall, she pulled one up to the window and sat down. On the table there was a remote control, it looked custom made for the setup. It only had a handful of buttons, the most important of which was a ‘call’ button that she was told would alert Leon that someone was in the room, and a ‘mic on’ button. The room had an inbuilt microphone and speaker system to allow comfortable communication even if large groups were there.

It felt uncomfortably sterile. Worse than a hospital. She looked up to the top left corner of the room, where a security camera stared back. She was also told Leon had access to the feed. She wondered if he was watching now? Hunnigan said she’d call ahead. Was he waiting for her to do something first? Would he be upset that she was so hesitant?

Shaking off the feeling she hit both buttons on the controller and flashed a smile and a wave towards the security camera, for good measure.

A moment passed before she heard a light clicking sound on the intercom, before a voice emerged.

“Ashley, hey…”

She was surprised that he sounded so… Normal. She wasn't sure what she expected, no one had given her any information other than that he’d been infected but he hadn’t lost his mind. There was an extensive report written about the events that went down, she’d been able to convince the BSAA to let her read a copy of it but it was heavily redacted. Particularly the parts pertaining to Leon.

“It’s… good to see you.”

She was relieved to hear the sincerity in his voice, despite how slightly rough around the edges he sounded. He was Leon, that hadn’t changed. But she could tell he was different all the same.

“It’s good to, uh, hear you, haha..”

Her feet shuffled, she started bouncing one leg. Looking longfully at the window glass with the shutter still closed. She was fine with phone calls but this was making her nervous. It hadn’t been that long ago that they’d last spoke, that they’d last caught up in person.

“I’m sorry, about your dad. I’m sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral. I’m sorry for everything, Ashley.”

“It’s ok, Leon. You did everything you could.”

Despite the lack of contact, the uncomfortable fog in the room was palpable for both parties. Her leg bouncing rate increased. Shuffling could be heard over the intercom speaker. They each heard the pain in the other’s voice. The wound was still fresh and very deep.

Not wanting to have that conversation to a wall, Ashley attempted to change the subject.

“So how are you holding up? I mean with the tests and everything. Hunnigan said you shouldn't have to be in isolation much longer.”

“Uhh yeah… It’s fine. I’m doing fine.”

She let out a small sigh.

“You can’t bullshit me, Leon.”

Silence.

“You’ve been stuck inside that room for almost three months now. You must be tired of it, and lonely.”

She paused, before continuing.

“When I got back from Europe after you rescued me, they kept me in isolation for precautionary testing for two weeks. They were paranoid I guess. I know for you they didn’t need long to clear you of any issues. Those two weeks were the worst of my life.”

“Worse than being injected with a mind-controlling parasite?” he joked back.

“Much, much worse.” she playfully replied, “I didn’t have a strong, capable, and handsome government agent to save me from a bunch of creepy scientists in hazmat suits.”

She heard what sounded like a muffled laugh. A smile crossed her face.

“Unfortunately for me the only ‘strong, capable, and handsome’ government agent I know is limited to Visitors on Wednesdays only.”

This made Ashley giggle suddenly, the first time she’d properly and genuinely laughed since before the C-Virus incident even occurred.

“When I came home, Dad was so worried. He just wanted to make sure I was gonna be ok. He was always so busy and worked so hard. He just wanted to make sure he could change something for the positive. In the end you made sure that happened. You and Helena.”

A tear rolled down her cheek and gently dropped off her chin. Followed by another.

“I’d known Simmons for just about my whole life, he’d had family dinners with us, we’d visit his house frequently. Dad had confided in him about so much I just… I can’t believe he’d betray us like that. I can’t believe he would be so selfish.”

The tears were making it hard for her to see, her words were mixed in with sharp breaths as she began to sob.

“He killed dad and all those people, after everything, he just fucking killed him and killed everyone else and burned it to the ground all for what!! And now he’s gone and I don’t know what to do, Leon I just don’t know what to fucking do!”

She cried for a moment, letting the anger and the grief flow. Purging her system, letting it out. As she started to calm down she pulled a packet of tissues from her bag, to clean her face.

“I want to make a difference. I want to do something, like dad did.” she said slowly through strained breaths.

“I never want to feel helpless and small ever again. After you rescued me in Europe, after everything you did to stop Simmons, I want to do something for the world too.”

She glanced up at the security camera, as if it would respond back somehow. Hoping he was watching.

“You and dad made me realise what I wanted to do with my life, what I cared most about. I even changed my college degree to International Relations when I got home but I mean, you already know that. Now with the BSAA here, I’ve asked Hunnigan if she can help me shift my career slightly, and work with you and everyone else here.”

“Really? You want to work for the BSAA?”

She nodded, not knowing if he could even see. Taking the moment to have a drink from her water bottle to gather herself.

“... I’ll put in a personal recommendation, if they’re still accepting those from me after everything.”

“Thank you Leon, I’m sure they will.” Ashley smiled.

“Well if they let me do anything, once the tests are cleared, I’d like to go visit your old man with you. If you don’t mind. I couldn’t be there for the funeral so… “

“Of course Leon,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “I’d love that. I’m sure dad would too.”

“I think you’d be great here, we need more people like you Ashley.”

“Of course, someone needs to be around to stop you getting into more trouble right?”

She was hoping for a smart ass response, a laugh, a quip, something. Her comment was met with silence. Her heart sank.

“What happened to you, Leon?”

He avoided responding, she could hear more slight shuffling noises.

“I know you feel uncomfortable, god knows I would too. Everyone’s talking about you, saying you’re a hero. You and all the others that worked together to stop the C-Virus from spreading. You saved people's lives.”

“... I don’t think you’d be calling me that if you could see me right now.”

The most she’d gotten to read about the effects of the virus on him were small comments about carapace and ‘external structural changes’. In all honestly she had no idea what he looked like, if he was even recognisable. She didn’t really know how to ask, besides the fact she really only knew Hunnigan well enough to be confident posing the question.

“I wouldn’t know. No one’s shown me any photos of you. I have no idea.”

He was silent again.

“But you’re still you, in the end. Does it matter what you look like?”

“It does when you look like a monster.”

She recoiled slightly at the tone of his voice.

“When I was in China, when it happened. It didn’t really matter to me. People's lives were at stake, Simmons was out there, I embraced it in the moment because I couldn't let people down. I needed to do something. I couldn't just give up and avoid facing the world. But now? I’m stuck in this cell and every few days I get more needles poked into me and more scans and more people asking me stupid fucking questions and I just.”

He paused suddenly. Breathing for a few moments.

“I can’t deal with all of this. I’m as good as a lab animal now. And why would anyone think any differently if they saw what I’ve become.”

“C’mon, don’t say that.”

Suddenly the shutter began to move upwards, a brighter light from the room beyond the glass spilling in. It took Ashley a moment to adjust before she could fully stare at the figure sitting opposite her.

“If you were in trouble and the thing that came to help you looked like this, would you still call it a hero?”

#Leon Kennedy #Ashley Graham #C Virus AU #Resident Evil 6 #Resident Evil #fanfic #fic #Look I got way to excited about this and just knew exactly what I wanted to write #so have this very rare burst of Text from me #I'm enjoying practicing writing interactions between characters and focusing a lot on the interpersonal relationships #I'm trying to pack a lot in there #nods to other characters #reflections of the past game events #how things might change in a characters psyche after they experience something big #I hope you enjoy and if you have any feedback I'd love to hear it #because this is a draft and its almost 6am and Ive been awake a long time

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jzixuans · 4 years

Note

Blink I beg of you to please give us more of that beautiful Roceit, Roman is so pretty my little heart can't take it I need to know what happens to these lovestruck fools.

ooh boyzee let’s see i don’t think i planned much beyond that comic but since you asked so nicely

(this is about 2.2k in bullet fic, with warnings for burns, scars, and corrupt rich people in power)

maybe let’s start with how they met because i haven’t detailed out the post-comic events yet

deceit– that’s the name he earned on the streets thanks to his charmingly deceptive personality– is making his rounds again in the bustling marketplace, looking for any unsuspecting nobles that won’t miss a ring or two

he makes eye contact with those he passes, smiling handsomely, and they can’t help but falter when they lock onto those stunning golden eyes

he’s talented like that, knowing just how to capture his victims’ attention and not have it at all

later, they’ll recount eyes like gold and a dazzling smile, and nothing else that could identify the snake in the shadows

he tips his hat and bids them a good day with a polite bow then disappears back into the crowd, his pocket giving off the slightest jingle from the coin pouches he nabbed

he weaves his way through with practiced ease and he spies a handful of guards surrounding someone wearing the rich, bright, telltale garb of the inner circles of the royal court

jackpot

as he nears his mark, he sees that they’re wearing the deep purple of the king’s advisors; one of the two youngest to ever hold such a position, but from the back of their head, he can’t tell which one

but he notices that they’re jittery, nervous even, as they complete their transaction at the table piled high with old books

deceit pretends to occupy himself at the neighbouring stall, a gentle old woman offering tea

the guards watch him, but he catches their eyes, nods, and hands the woman silver pieces from his stolen coin purse and accepts his tea

the guards resume their posts and pay him no mind

when he turns to walk away from the stall, he slides his hand into the pocket of the advisor

this is where he makes his mistake

the advisor, more vigilant than nervous it appears, catches his wrist in a vice grip, glaring down at him. then he throws deceit back into the stall, sending him crashing into the pot of boiling water

he’s only narrowly able to avoid the water reaching his eye

his body feels like fire is eating at it from all ends

as he writhes in pain he sees regret, pity, and concern flash across the advisor’s face

he’s hauled to his feet by two of the guards, the others have their hands at their hips, ready to draw their swords

around them, the busy marketplace has stilled, and they’ve gained an audience

the guard on his right rifles through his pockets and pulls out the rest of his stolen goods

one man pushes his way to the front of the crowd and points at him angrily

“he stole my wedding ring!” he exclaims

“he took my mother’s bracelet!” another cries

and soon several members of the crowd are shouting their accusations at him

the advisor raises a hand to silence them

another guard announces, “for thievery of countless riches, and attempted robbery of councilman virgil wang, you will face trial and the consequent punishment before king thomas”

the next thing he knows, he’s being muscled into a carriage, then paraded through the castle halls

“see to it that he’s treated by a doctor,” councilman virgil tells the one holding him, sending him a look that’s almost… guilty

normally, he’d be alert, mapping out the castle grounds waiting for the opportune moment to make his escape, but right now the only thing on his mind is holding back the tears in front of the guards

the doctor sweeps in with a mug larger than life, filled to the brim with what smells like coffee. deceit flinches

“alright hon, let’s get you patched up,” the doctor sighs. they tilts their tinted glasses down to take in the sorry state of his face

they hold a cool cloth to his burns and it’s like a balm. he can’t help but sigh in relief

“what’s your name, sweetheart?”

“don’t call me that”

“well if you’d give me your name, i wouldn’t have to”

“what makes you think you’ve earned the right to know my name?” deceit snaps

“is attending to your wounds not enough?” the doctor tsks as they peel the cloth away and reach for a jar of salve. their hands are rough and calloused, but still they treat deceit with a gentle touch that he hasn’t known in quite some time

deceit doesn’t answer them

“i mean i know who you are, you’ve probably robbed about of a third of the castle by now. not surprised that virgil caught you, he was probably born sleeping with one eye open. but still, a name for the legendary thief of crane would be nice,” the doctor prattles on. deceit let’s them chatter on about everything and nothing, sitting still as a rock while the doctor applies the rest of the bandages

“now i know you’re all chained up, but just in case the king let’s your hands go free, don’t go ripping off those bandages or your next visit here you’ll have to pay me by telling me your name,” the doctor warns with a wink. “good luck on your trial sweetheart, and may the fates smile kindly upon your future.”

deceit’s led out of the room by his attending guards then pushed through the doors to the main hall where he lands on his knees at the foot of the throne

the king is flanked by his advisors– deceit recognizes councilman virgil’s stony gaze– and his adoptive son, the crown prince

deceit doesn’t dare lift his head for anything more than the fleeting glance he got at them

“dante evan feng, also known as deceit, the snake in the shadows, thief of crane, you have been arrested stealing from the royal court and nobility on numerous occasions, and for attempted thievery from a member of the high council,” an advisor to the left of the king recites. he’s wearing the same purple robes as virgil– the other youngest advisor– with large round glasses and long black hair held back in a braid. his voice is cold and monotonous as he reads off the rest of deceit’s charges

“how do you plead?” he asks

deceit lifts his head, a defiant “not guilty!” ready on his tongue, but he sees virgil shake his head, and then sees the crown prince, gorgeous and resplendent, brows pinched in concern, shake his head

“you would do well to answer truthfully. in this court, honesty is rewarded, corruption will be condemned.” king thomas says

so deceit lifts his chin a little higher, and says, “guilty, your majesty, but with good reason”

“elaborate”

“i’ve seen the members of your court laugh at the beggars in your streets as they crawl on their knees to pick up every last penny. they turn their backs on those who need them. they don’t deserve their riches,” dante snarls. the prince winces under his glare

sadness paints itself into the king’s expression, but he keeps his voice steady. “and how have you spent your stolen wealth?”

“they went back to those who should have had it in the first place”

the advisor in the glasses narrows his eyes. “were you one of those such people?”

“i used the gold to buy goods from local businesses to support my lifestyle and theirs. i don’t see how that is such a crime”

the advisor arches a single eyebrow, then turns to his colleague. “councilman wang, you were a target of his today, what are your thoughts on the matter?”

“he didn’t get away with stealing from me, we’ve apprehended him, and he’s already been wounded. i have faith that whatever punishment his majesty decides for him will be just.” virgil says, so low dante almost doesn’t hear it

the king sits up. he’s made his decision

“dante, in place of punishment, i offer you a chance to work for all that you stole. you will work here, at the castle. you will be given food, clothes, and a room to live in. having you here will give me the opportunity to consult your advice on how to go about resolving the corruption in my court. does this sound fair? should you decline my offer, your sentence will be to serve time in prison.” the king says

deceit wants to say no, that he’d rather die than live a life of servitude, but so far, everyone at the castle has shown him mercy, and the chance to rise up to a seat on the king’s council is too tempting to refuse. having the king’s ear will make it far easier to bring about change in the kingdom.

“i accept your gracious offer, your majesty,” he says begrudgingly, though the words taste like ash in his mouth

so he takes on the new position as one of the castle’s groundskeepers, tending to gardens, making sure that everything else is in its proper place

for the first year, he’s confined to working outside only at night, where the harsh light of the sun can’t deal any further damage to his scars (virgil, though still distrustful of him, seeks him out and apologizes a couple weeks after the trial, he only meant to push him away, not send him flying into a pot of boiling water. he’s stronger than his robes make out, it seems)

he also pays the doctor– remy dormeil, he quickly learns– regular visits for more salve and other treatment for his scars. he finds their presence one of the more tolerable ones amongst the court staff

king thomas upholds his promise and allows him to attend some of the meetings with the high council. he plans on venturing out into the smaller villages himself to survey the state of things

then the king throws a birthday party for the prince at the castle. dante’s told that he may join the festivities once his duties are attended to. so he dons the suit that has been left in his closet and makes his way to the ballroom

in the centre, virgil is being led by his fellow advisor in a vivacious dance that leaves them out of breath and full of laughter as they spin around and around each other in a twin orbit

as dante weaves through the crowd in a manner not unlike they way he used to move on the streets, he’s greeted with side eyes and distasteful remarks— many of tonight’s guests were his marks once upon a time, and no one could forget those stunning golden eyes— but he steels himself as he always has, and makes a beeline for the refreshment table, where he may hide his face behind a drink or two

on his way, he slips the bracelet of one particularly snobby woman from her wrist and into his pocket. as he accepts a goblet from one of the waitstaff, he hears a voice from behind him say, “are you going to give that back?”

when he spins around, he comes face to face with the birthday boy himself, prince roman of crane, smirking in amusement

“i mean, she probably deserved it, but she is my second cousin once removed, and i would hate to hear her complain all night at the next family dinner,” he continues. “besides, i’m sure i could find you something more your style,” he adds with a wink

dante huffs and takes a sip of his drink. “i can’t say i know what you’re talking about your highness, but i must add that i have quite expensive taste, so if you plan on following through on that promise, i hope you’re prepared to empty your coffers,” he shoots back with a grin

roman tips his head back and laughs, rich and bellowing

“give it here before you get in trouble, and i’ll just tell her that she’s dropped it. then i’ll make you a deal: if you can behave for the rest of the night, i’ll reward you with some exquisite jewelry of you own.”

dante sighs and drops the bracelet in roman’s outstretched palm

“i’ll take that deal, but only on the condition that you deliver it to me yourself. i tend the garden beneath your balcony twice a week,” he purrs in his ear, then he walks away, leaving a dumbstruck prince behind him, never mind his own blush creeping up his neck (which he promptly blames on his scars when remy sidles up to him)

twice a week in roman’s garden soon turns to three times, then four, then every night he’s slipping out to the garden to throw discarded weeds through roman’s window to relish in his dismay, to chat with him as he makes his rounds, laugh as they try to push each other into the fountain, and distract him with beautiful blooms and twinkling stars as he occupies himself in trying to steal the crown right off his head

he hasn’t succeeded yet, because every time he’s just about to reach for it, roman turns his head, ready with a witty remark or poetic compliment comparing him to the brilliance of the moon’s glow that stops him dead in his tracks

one day, though. one day

and when he does, it isn’t just be roman’s crown that he steals, but his heart as well

#roceit #deceit sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #blink writes #stupid reason au #remy's nb and logan's the other advisor present they're both dating virgil and also each other #and patton's also an advisor he's just out on business #lmao that ending was so cheesy #i just pulled their last names out of an old yearbook #liked feng because it's almost fang #remy's is just a combination of dormir and sommeil though lol #tashi #ask #everybody say thank you tashi for being super sweet with her comments that i actually wrote stuff

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radishaur · 4 years

Note

Can we please get a Burn by love a part 2 after Aang defend Ozzie?? Thank you and PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!

I’m assuming you meant Scars of Love, but yes! Honestly, Scars of Love has turned into probably my favorite work so far. I’m so glad to see so many of you enjoying it and I’m more than happy to write a part two!

If you haven’t read it yet, here is part 1!

•••

Scars of Love (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of burns

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

Part: 2/2

Summary: See Request

•••

I woke up to the burning pain in his chest. I winced as I cracked my eyes open, taking in my surroundings. I saw light filtering in through the windows and groaned as I forced myself to sit up. I realized very quickly that I was in the infirmary.

My first thought was to find her.

She had been injured in the battle with Azula, jumping in like always to be my savior when I was down. I cursed myself for being weak; for not being strong enough to protect her, like always. I was struggling to get out of bed, legs dangling off the side, when the doors opened.

Standing in the doorway with the brightest smile I had ever seen, was you. My eyes lit up the moment they landed on her.

“Y/N!” I exclaimed.

She rushed over to me and pulled me into a suffocating hug. I wrapped his arms just as tightly around her, ignoring the pain in my chest as I pulled her close. I felt tears prickling at my eyes.

“You’re ok,” I said, voice cracking and giving away my worries.

She pulled back, her own teary eyes meeting his own and nodded. With slightly shaky hands, she signed back to me.

“I’m fine. Just glad that you’re safe.”

I chuckled, letting a few stray tears fall down my cheek as I looked her over. She was wearing a red Fire Nation dress and had half her hair pulled up into a top knot. I also noticed that she wasn’t hiding behind her veil, instead leaving her scar for all to see.

I wondered why that was, briefly, before my thoughts quickly returned to concern.

“Are you hurt?” I asked, visibly looking her over as I held her still by her arms.

She rolled her eyes, but pulled up her shirt to reveal a small bandage that wrapped around her stomach. My stomach churned as I thought about Azula burning her, as if she hadn’t suffered enough at the hands of my family. Suffered for me.

As if she knew exactly what I was thinking, she smacked me upside the head. That caught my attention immediately and she shook her head furiously.

“Stop it,” she signed, leaving no room for arguing, “I’m ok. You’re ok. That’s all that matters.”

I couldn’t help smiling at her. She was my beautiful ray of sunshine, always brightening my day. I took her hand into mine and kissed her knuckles a few times.

“My beautiful princess,” I murmured against her skin.

I looked up as I pressed another kiss to her fingers and saw her smiling down at me, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. I intertwined our fingers, relishing the feeling of her hand in mine.

“I love you so much. Never forget that,” I said, the warm feeling in my chest growing until it was almost too much to bear.

She shook her head before burying herself in my arms again. We stayed like that for a few hours, simply just enjoying each others presence, before she had to go. She came back and visited me every single day of my recovery.

Finally, the day came that I was to be crowned Fire Lord. I was being primped and prepared by about a million servants when she came into the room. I was getting my hair brushed back into my top knot when she came by my side.

“Hello my love. Are you-“

I stopped, finally seeing Y/N in the mirror. She looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a gorgeous, long red dress that danced around her ankles. She had the sleeves of the dress hemmed to be slightly above her wrists, so that they wouldn’t get in the way of her signing. Her hair was flowing beautifully down her back and, like the past few days, her scar wasn’t hidden behind a veil. But, the most beautiful thing about her was the way she smiled at me, like I was the only person in the universe.

I shooed the servants away, telling them to give me five minutes alone with her. They bowed and left the room, throwing sly smiles over their shoulders and giggling to eachother like school girls. I stood up and cupped Y/N’s face, kissing her forehead and then pulling her into a hug.

“You look beyond beautiful,” I whispered happily, kissing her neck a few times before pulling away.

She was blushing, but still smiling like a mad man.

“I dressed up for your big day. I’m glad you like it,” she signed.

“You always look good, princess. Although...,” I said, debating wether or not to ask.

She frowned slightly, worrying causing her to crease her forehead and sign back, “Is there something wrong?”

“No no!” I assured her quickly, pulling her back into a hug quickly before letting go and saying, “I’ve just noticed that you haven’t been wearing your veil. Why is that?”

She paused, as if thinking of how to put her thoughts into words.

“I used to wear it because I was self conscious. I thought it made me ugly and that people would judge you for being with someone like me. You’re a prince and I’m just a scarred nobody. But then we met our new friends, and they helped me love myself,” she signed, pausing again to press a kiss to my cheek and added, “I want to show you I’m strong enough to be your significant other. In the public eye.”

I couldn’t stop the tears from prickling at my eyes as I pulled her into a hug. I felt so guilty. Everything she had gone through was my fault. I dragged her into my family’s mess and made her feel like a nobody. She was always so worried about me that she sacrificed herself for my wellbeing. I felt my tears sliding down my cheeks and tried my best to keep them from falling on her dress.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. You’re the strongest person that I’ve ever met. You’re much stronger than I could ever be and you’ve made me into the person I am today. I owe you everything, baby. I’m so sorry I dragged you into my mess. I’m so sorry,” I apologized, my voice cracking with occasional sobs.

She tapped my back three times, the signal to pull away so she could talk. I did, wiping my tears slightly as I did. She was crying too now and I carefully wiped them away with my thumbs.

“Zuko, I love you. I chose to jump in front of you. I chose to come with you. I chose to hide my scar. That’s not your fault. What matters is that I love you and I want the world to know it. Scar and all. I see it as a symbol of the love I hold for you more than as a punishment. I would jump in front of you again and again if it meant I could protect you,” she signed, tears falling once again.

I laughed through my sobs and kissed her face all over. I said I love you in between every single one. I was so lucky to have someone like her love me and I wanted her to know. I wanted to remind her everyday for the rest of my life how much I loved her.

That thought sparked something in me and I paused, pulling away. She was smiling up at me and she was beautiful and I wanted her to be mine. I wanted her to be mine forever.

“Y/N. Would you...Would you like to get married? Today?” I asked.

She seemed surprised for a moment before breaking out into the biggest smile I had ever seen. She nodded her head frantically and I had never felt happier. I kissed her with all the love I had in me. Her lips were warm and soft and everything I had come to know over the past few years.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so much,” I whispered, pulling back to see her face again.

She cupped my face and smiled. And then, she did something I couldn’t ever have imagined possible: she spoke. It was hoarse, scratchy, and quiet, but it made my heart melt. I didn’t think it was possible for her to speak ever again.

“I love you, Zuko.”

If anyone asks, I would have no shame in saying I cried. I pulled her close to me and cried the happiest tears I had ever cried. I kissed her anywhere I could and I felt her hugging me just as tightly.

“H-How...I didn’t think you could ever talk again,” I managed to ask.

“Well, I can’t really. It’s limited. I’ve been practicing for a really long time to say that,” she signed, blushing slightly before adding, “I’m sorry I can’t say more.”

“Don’t even think that. I love you no matter what. If those are the last words I hear you say out loud that will be enough. You will always be enough,” I said firmly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She smiled the brightest and most genuine smile I had ever seen. I would never get tired of seeing her smile like that. She truly was my whole world.

“Are we really getting married?” she signed, a nervous smile on her face.

“Yes,” I answered before smiling excitedly and saying, “I have something for you.”

I disappeared into my study to root through my drawers. Eventually, I found the box and pulled it out. I came back into the room and handed it to her with a huge smile on my face.

“Open it,” I encouraged her.

Carefully, she took the lid off the box and her eyes widened at the sight. Sitting carefully against the felt was the Fire Lady’s crown. She carefully picked it up and let her fingers dance across the material. She looked up at me and her eyes were practically sparkling.

I informed my advisors of the minor change of plans and watched them hurriedly rush off to make the necessary preparations. Y/N was rushed out of the room to be prepped in proper Fire Nation makeup and hair. It was too late to get a dress that fit her, so we promised to make one after the fact for the portraits and such. For now, her dress would have to do.

Getting crowned Fire Lord was something I had mixed feelings about for a long time, especially recently. Now with Y/N by my side, it didn’t seem as scary. Kneeling down and feeling the crown slip into my top knot and seeing Y/N in her Fire Lady crown was all the reassurance I needed that I would be just fine. The Gaang found us after the immediate coronation and swarmed us with questions and congratulations.

I was talking with Aang when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She was smiling and signing away with Katara and Toph, Katara translating for Toph, and I couldn’t help but smile. She looked absolutely radiant, scar displayed proudly instead of hidden away, and the crown in her hair. She looked like she was made to be Fire Lady. Like she was made to be my wife.

My wife.

I made eye contact with her from across the room and she smiled at me like I hung the stars. The amount of love she held in her eyes was clear from across the room. I signed I love you to her and blew her a kiss, which she generously sent back.

This was all I could ever want.

#zuko #prince zuko #prince zuko fanfic #prince zuko fanfiction #prince zuko fic #zuko imagine #zuko x reader #fire lord zuko #firelord zuko #firelord zuko x reader #fire lord zuko x reader

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queenofmoons67 · 4 years

Note

Hey, I love your writing and u are taking prompts so: “I don’t feel good” for the Nie brothers with NMJ being the one hurt bc I’m desperate for some good vulnerable NMJ being soothed by NHS

Note that this takes place during the fight between the Wen and Nie Sects, in-between capturing XY and the Wen indoctrination camp; CQL-verse

It only took one mistake. One overreaching thrust of Baxia, one hand slipping under his guard, and Nie Mingjue crumpled to the ground, groaning.

His meridians were on fire, in a way he’d been taught meant a qi deviation, but he knew all too well that wasn’t the problem. Not when his golden core was blazing so hot, it could only eat away at itself. Not when he’d been fighting Wen Zhuliu.

The pain tempted Nie Mingjue toward unconsciousness, but he dug his fingers into the dirt and fought past it, lifting his head to glare at Wen Zhuliu. The man stared back at him, expression blank. If Nie Mingjue didn’t know better, he would think the man had nothing to do with destroying a part of his body. As it was, he braced himself for a continued onslaught—and then stared as Wen Zhuliu simply turned his back and walked back to Wen Chao.

Wen Chao started shouting at Wen Zhuliu, gesturing wildly back at Nie Mingjue, but Wen Zhuliu just stood there and took it. His posture wasn’t even straight, shoulders slumped and hand loose around his sheathed sword.

Nie Mingjue wouldn’t be attacked again. Not today. And as green and gold robes swished to a stop all around him, Nie Mingjue knew that even if the Wens did try, they would never reach him.

Satisfied, Nie Mingjue slumped to the ground, only to groan as the weight of a short teenager collided with his ribs.

“Huaisang—!”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Huaisang scrambled off of him, though his brother didn’t go far—he knelt at Nie Mingjue’s side, and Nie Mingjue felt the sleeve of his robe grow tight around his wrist as his brother grabbed it tight in both hands.

Nie Mingjue smiled the best he could at Huaisang, but his brother’s face just twisted with tears.

“Da-ge—”

“I’ll be fine,” Nie Mingjue rasped. “I’ll be—”

His core blazed, hotter than even the first moment Wen Zhuliu had made contact, and Nie Mingjue couldn’t hold back a cry of pain as he felt his core twist in on itself—and disappear. One moment there, gone the next. But Huaisang was still there. Huaisang would always be there, or Nie Mingjue hadn’t done his job right.

“I’ll… I’ll be…” Nie Mingjue coughed, and the words he wanted to say—the words he needed to say—twisted like his core, disappearing into the fire consuming his body until all that remained was a truth he had never wanted to lay on his brother’s shoulders. “I don’t feel good.”

Nie Mingjue woke to numbness. Where the warmth of his golden core had always rested, threading through his meridians, was nothing. Not the heat of anger and the looming threat of a qi deviation. Not even the fire that had burned through him before remained. He was just… normal.

Without his core, he would be forced to pass the sect leader mantle onto Huaisang. He could stay on as an advisor, but he also couldn’t risk appearing to be the real power behind his brother. Not if the Nie Sect was to flourish.

And if Huaisang was to be sect leader, then Huaisang would also have to take on all the secrets and efforts that Nie Mingjue had fought to keep from him. The truth about the sabers. The early qi deviations.

If Nie Mingjue had any strength in him, he might have laughed until he cried. He had always known he would die before Huaisang. Even when he pushed his brother to cultivate with his saber, he had known Huaisang would never have a qi deviation before he did. Huaisang just didn’t have the temperament for it, even if he had had a strong core. But now…

Nie Mingjue didn’t know which of them would die first. Huaisang, pushed to extremes as sect leader, forced even more to use his saber, in a qi deviation? Or Nie Mingjue himself, living an average life and dying long before a cultivator would?

And of course, that was assuming that neither of them died in battle against the Wens. War was inevitable now that Wen Chao had attacked so blatantly.

Nie Mingjue had finally gotten what he wanted, but at what cost?

Sighing, Nie Mingjue turned his head to call for someone, only to freeze when he saw Huaisang. His brother was sitting upright next to him, but his eyes were glazed and barely open, and even as Nie Mingjue watched Huaisang’s head bobbed, jolting him awake. For a moment, Nie Mingjue thought his brother was about to doze off again—and then Huaisang’s eyes met his own, and Huaisang shot forward.

“Da-ge! You’re awake! You—do you need anything? Water? Tea? Are you hungry?”

Nie Mingjue shook his head. “I’m fine, Huaisang.”

“That’s what you said last time!” Huaisang cried. “And then you passed out!” He frowned, then reached out and grabbed Nie Mingjue’s hand. “Da-ge, please don’t lie to me. I know Wen Zhuliu took your core. And I… I know I’m not as strong as you, but you’re my brother, and I’ll do anything I can to help you. Anything.”

“Huaisang…” For a moment, Nie Mingjue just looked at his hand, then turned it over to grasp Huaisang’s hand back. “You’ve never been weak. Not in the ways that really matter.”

“Da-ge—”

“Just promise me one thing,” Nie Mingjue said firmly. “One thing, and then I’ll rest.”

Huaisang paused, studying him, but agreed, “Anything.”

“Don’t lose who you are. No matter what you have to do as sect leader, never lose who you are.”

“I won’t,” Huaisang promised, eyes filling with tears. “Because you’re going to be right there with me.”

“Huaisang…” Nie Mingjue closed his eyes, unable to look at his brother. “We don’t know that. This changes everything.”

“You don’t know that,” Huaisang corrected, squeezing his hand. “But I do, because you’ve protected me all of my life. Now it’s my turn. It’s as simple as that.”

Nie Mingjue opened his eyes and looked at his brother. It wasn’t that simple, and he knew Huaisang knew it just as well as he did. He could see it in Huaisang’s wide eyes, in the way he chewed on his lip and his hand was tight around Nie Mingjue’s.

But they both needed to believe it all the same. They would never win a war with the Wens otherwise.

“It’s as simple as that,” Nie Mingjue agreed. As simple as that.

Go here for more angst prompts to send me! All I need is at least one prompt selection and two characters! And you can also go here for my general prompt guidelines.

#nie mingjue #nie huaisang #nie brothers #mdzs #the untamed #cql #grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fanfic #fanfic #mine #My fic #writing prompt #tw: bodily harm #core melting hand #wen zhuliu #timetomakeanewwish

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la-la-coquelicot · 3 years

Text

Me before I found organizing and storage.#1

Thank you again today!

I'm a mom who works mainly in Gobo City and Hidaka County in Wakayama Prefecture.

child-rearing mom I'm Haruka Miyake. I'll be back soon.

I would like to share with you some of my tips on how to organize your home so that you can play together, sleep together and still have a tidy home. Organizing and storage ✕ Short-time housework　 I'm currently working on a new project!

Level 1 tidy storage advisor Short-time housekeeping coordinator (Basic) Parent and Child Tidying Instructor Level 2

After graduating from high school, I got a job at a railroad company.

I was especially close to my high school graduates who joined the company in the same year. We spent our private time together.

Two of them left the company a few years after joining. One of them became a store manager. The other went overseas. Their way of life was very stimulating for me.

I don't know if I'm going to stay like this forever... I don't know what I want to do, and I graduated from high school...

It was around that time that I started to think about such things.

Then I met my husband, got married, had a baby, and took childcare leave. I started to raise my two children, a daughter and a son. My husband worked overnight, and I could not rely on my parents. In such a situation, childcare at home was I wanted to scream every day more than I imagined.

I had no time for myself and no space in my heart.

I was able to greet the night safely again today. That was all I could do.

I couldn't blame my children for the lack of progress in my household chores. I blamed my children for my lack of progress in the household. "I'm scared of you. There were times when my daughter would say to me, "Mommy, you're scaring me.

I want to raise my children by myself.

I took parental leave because I wanted to raise my children by myself. I hated myself every day and cried in my room alone. I'll never forget those days.

I had to do everything perfectly. I had set myself a task that was completely over my capacity. I felt sorry for myself and my family because of it.

As for my husband... He is the type of person who goes to great lengths to pursue his hobbies. His spirit of exploration is mind-boggling. When he was immersed in his hobby, he looked so happy and radiant.

I thought that if I could be like him, my daily life would become more enjoyable. I called a hula dance class that I had been interested in for a long time. There was no way I could attend while taking care of my two children at home, so I gave up.

But I will not give up on my dream of attending a hula dance recital in Hawaii!

I can't do anything in this situation! I was so depressed and desperate.

I was depressed and desperate, but then I heard, "Storage is good! My husband said casually. My husband casually said to me.

It's true that I clean up my house every day. 　 But it's always a mess. No matter how much I put away, I still don't feel satisfied. My family won't let me put things back. Maybe I should just throw it all away!

I realized that I had been struggling with this thought.

It's not my hobby, but I'm interested! Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

#Parent and Child Tidying #Short-time housekeeping #tidy storage advisor

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devnicolee · 4 years

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The Chosen Ones (4)

Word Count: 10,377

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3]

“What is going on with you? I mean... I have never known you to be this reckless," the king of Wakanda exclaimed as he wore a whole in the carpet of his sister's room, pacing back and forth endlessly.

Asha rubbed her forehead, shame and frustration growing as her brother's lecture drew on minute by minute.

"T'Challa, I said I was sorry. I do not need a lecture. Believe me, I feel horrible enough as it is!" She tried to say.

First M'Baku... now him? She couldn't take this much disappointment from both of them in the same evening, her heart couldn't handle it. She felt a small, soft squeeze to her hand, knowing it was moral support from her sister. Asha smiled weakly but her eyes didn't leave their dead stare into her lap, she didn't want to look at any of them.

"Apparently you do! I asked you if you wanted out of this engagement, I gave you an out. But now, there are certain responsibilities and obligations that you can't ignore just because you feel like it. And it is just," he took a moment to catch his breath before continuing, "it is highly inappropriate as a new council member and advisor to create a potential scandal of this magnitu-"

"Yes, I am a cheater and a horrible person. The worthless trouble-making, embarrassing liability to the great Panther Tribe. I get it! I have heard it several times today and every day for most of my life, I do not need any more reminders from you!"

Asha's voice raised to match her brother's and in anger she leapt off her bed, standing toe to toe with him. She could feel the rings on her hands working overtime to tame the beast within as her hurt from the last few hours transitioned to anger.

"Ok, ok! Asha, it is alright. No one is saying any of those things. T'Challa certainly doesn't think them," Nakia inserted quickly, walking over and placing a soothing hand on the young princess's back.

The two siblings were no stranger to a squabble or two but this was beyond both of them. Unlike T'Challa, Nakia could see that all of this was a symptom of a deeper issue and they would not get to the bottom of it by shaming her choices. She sent a silent but reproachful glare T'Challa's way as she tried to calm Asha down enough to continue. "Perhaps you should go. We will talk to her," she added quietly, seeing the fractures the emotionally-charged evening had sent through the young princess.

T'Challa hesitated, now understanding that he had misstepped and feeling as though an apology was due. But Nakia simply shook her head and motioned toward the door. He nodded before motioning for Okoye to follow and quickly exit the room.

As soon as her door slammed shut, Asha felt the weight of the day heavy on her shoulders, causing her to sink down to the floor by her bed. She buried her head in her hands as she tried to stop more tears from falling.

Haven't we cried enough today?

"I would like to be alone, please," she whispered, muffled but still clear enough for the remaining two occupants of her bedroom to hear.

"No, we are not leaving you like this. Talk to us. What happened?" Nakia asked as she crouched in front of Asha.

Asha didn't move or attempt to acknowledge her question. She knew what they really wanted and that was to unpack that kiss... the now infamous kiss. But what would Asha say? How could she explain it when she was hundreds of miles from understanding the complexity of her feelings toward M'Baku. She always thought love was supposed to be simple, easy, but this was anything but that. In two days, she and M'Baku managed to entangle themselves in a web of all those emotions and that kiss was right smack in the center. Asha did not have the capacity to unravel it all tonight.

Asha couldn't tell if she kissed him because she longed for affection, was angry at the guy she was supposed to be with, was desperate for a different life, actually loved him or because she just wanted to feel something other than sadness. Or if it was some combination of all those things? All of them came with an airplane worth of baggage that could not be reduced to the carry-on sized explanation they desired.

"Nothing happened... M'Baku was comforting me and we got caught up in the moment. That is it."

The women both knew she was lying, that she just wasn't willing to share. But still, they persisted.

"Come on, Asha. We know you. And w-we understand what you are going through but you have to talk to us and let us in. Let us help you."

Asha scoffed, her sister's ignorance almost made a laugh escape from her lips,.

"You don't understand. How could you possibly? Neither of you know what it is like to be despised or treated like an embarrassment. You have never spent a single moment in your lives as I have. You don't get it and you never will!" She lashed out at them. She stood up and turned her back to them, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "Please leave. Now. I wish to be alone."

"Asha.."

"Please do not make me have Alexis forcibly remove you. Just go, please."

The shaky begging in her voice did the trick, leading both women out of her door. Asha slid back to her spot on the floor, tears making their silent trek down her face.

She wished she had never allowed T'Challa to convince her to leave this room in the first place, wished she had never stepped a foot in the soft snow of Jabariland, and wished her eyes had never fallen on him. Then she would be happy... or at least, as happy as she was before and that would still be enough. She would be officially engaged in a week, existing in ignorance’s bliss. She would never know what true freedom tasted like, never know what true love felt like and so she wouldn't have to mourn it as she does now.

Sadness morphed into anger and frustration at everyone who forced her out of her safe isolation but didn't warn her that once you have seen light, it is impossible to go back to darkness.

****

Asha tried to put a smile on her face as she sat in silence in the council meeting, but it was difficult to hide sadness when it is as deeply rooted as Asha's was. Your smile can be as bright as the Sun but it always still shows through in your eyes. She just wanted to retreat back to her room, not see him or Hasani who both sat in the circle of chairs branching out from her brother's. She also just hated being in these meetings to begin with, still feeling as though she didn't belong. It did not help that half of the circle... her mother, Elder Shani and her son all gave her cold reproachful looks that basically told her she didn't belong if she dared give her opinion. And now to make it worse, she felt like there was a giant, "I am a cheater" sign glowing above her head.

She didn't quite understand why she felt so guilty, she knew Hasani never lost sleep over cheating on her. And his indiscretions were far worse than a simple kiss. But still, as she stole glances at both men, she felt guilty: guilty for cheating and guilty for bringing M'Baku into this mess. And she supposed her life's goal was to not be as carefree and uncaring as Hasani, certainly not the marker of a good person.

But she most wanted to talk to M'Baku, wanted to apologize or explain herself or... well, she did not quite know what she wanted to say to him. They said so much last night while simultaneously leaving so much unsaid. She questioned whether words would even matter at this point. But she felt the pull and desire to say something either way, just to hear the comfort in his voice, ensure that that comfort was still there. There was a stab of regret every time she considered the fact that she may have destroyed their friendship over a kiss, a stab that felt as painful as a physical wound in her body. But those were the consequences, she supposed. A moment of weakness in exchange for one of the few positive relationships in her life.

"We cannot accept these terms. This agreement with the Jabari is an insult to your father's legacy and all who have fought to control the spread of such a disease in our borders," Elder Shani almost shouted from her seat in front of her brother.

The argument ensuing around her snatched Asha's head out of the clouds and back down to Earth where she found the council entrenched in a loud and unruly argument. Asha quickly realized that the Elders had found the one clause in the treaty Asha buried deeply and had simply hoped would go unnoticed. But it seemed little got past Elder Shani, who likely read through it with a fine-toothed comb to find a mistake on Asha's part.

"This treaty is about respecting the Jabari's way of life and integrating it into ours. They have a different respect and custom for mutants or the Chosen, as I believe Lord M'Baku has referred to them. After conversations with my sister and Lord M'Baku, I will not ask them to change their customs and their ways. He has assured me that they will not be a threat to the ways in which we govern down the mountains."

Asha and M'Baku gave her brother a side eye, knowing that he pulled that explanation out of nowhere. That part of the treaty was added last minute after M'Baku expressed concerns over integrating the Jabari's Chosen into a regressive society. She chose not to bring it up and prolong the talks, figuring her brother would not notice a clause buried so deeply in the treaty's many pages.

"And what if that changes? What if one of them comes down here and creates trouble?"

"Asha, you met with the people of Jabariland, saw their customs in practice. What do you think?"

Asha gulped, mouth going dry at the idea of having to defend mutants to the most hostile person in the room, the person who also knew her secret. She glanced at her brother out of the corner of her eye whose smirk clearly told her that this was a problem of her creation that she now needed to fix.

"T-t-the Chosen are a peaceful group of Jabari. They are no different than the non-gifted among them. They have absolutely no reason to fight or create trouble for us down the mountains. Their goal is to use their p-powers to help advance the tribe. It is my belief that they will not be an issue for us."

"And what if their idea of advancing the tribe is overthrowing us and ensuring Lord M'Baku sits on the throne?" Another elder chimed in.

M'Baku laughed loudly, as if the idea of wanting the throne was too preposterous to take seriously.

"I wanted to be king of Wakanda once, yes, it is true. However, since then I have saved your rightful king, risked Jabari lives to overthrow a usurper, and put that King back on his throne. Without my people and I, Killmonger would still be alive and sitting in that chair. Seems like an awful lot of work when I could have just taken the Heart-Shaped Herb to become King myself and left King T'Challa to die. My interests no longer lie in leading this backwards nation."

"'Backwards?'" Elder Shani shouted, outraged at the insult. "How dare you?"

"Yes, backwards. A country that has all the resources in the world, offers all the opportunity in the world to its people and still finds a way to hold people back, to limit the power and ability of the more gifted among you. You can call us savages and insult me, I know what some of you say behind my back. But at least, the Jabari treat their fellow citizens with the respect Hanuman demands. When Bast calls you all home to the Plains... Will you be able to say the same?"

"Enough! That is quite enough," T'Challa called, causing all the tempers to quiet down significantly. "Elder Shani, as always, I appreciate your counsel. However, the treaty is final. The Jabari will not be forced to comply with any law within the Mutant Regulation Act. Lord M'Baku and the Jabari proved themselves to be a loyal tribe of Wakanda ten times over and I will not have that loyalty questioned in this room again. I reserve my right as king to revisit any aspect of the treaty if, and only if, it becomes an issue."

He and M'Baku shared a respectful head nod before T'Challa continued.

"Thank you all for a productive meeting. Unless there are outstanding matters, we will reconvene next Saturday prior to the start of the Festival. This year's festival will begin Sunday night at the Falls for the announcement of my sister's engagement and the King’s Exhibition. Thank you all. Wakanda Forever."

At the mention of her engagement, Asha glanced at M'Baku and she wished she hadn't. His body was rigid and she could almost see the rage radiating off him into the space.

"Wakanda Forever," they all replied in unison, as the meeting broke up.

Asha turned around to pick up her tablet and notebook, mainly to avoid the death glare she was receiving from Elder Shani across the room. When she turned back, the older woman was in a huddled discussion with another elder and her mother. Their hushed whispers could not reach her ears but she knew it was likely nothing good.

She kept her eyes trained on the floor as she walked, until she ran into the hard, broad back of someone.

"Oh, I am sorry! I didn't see you th- M'Baku," she started to apologize to the unknown person until they turned around and she came face to face with the man she was desperately trying to avoid. She wondered if it would have been less painless to run into Elder Shani as she looked into his eyes, finding no more admiration and love there.

"Yes your highness?"

His voice matched his eyes... cold and despondent, everything she didn't expect from him. She felt a sense of deja-vu to how he treated her prior to coming to the mountains. She remembered how it felt to be on the receiving end of his coldness and not understand why. She understood why now, but that didn't dampen the sting.

"U-uh, w-well I-I wanted to s-speak with you, actually," Asha stammered as she adjusted to all the things she was not used to from him... his coldness, formality and harsh tone. The silence between the stretched out as she tried to figure out what to say.

"Well?" he barked. "I do not have all day, I am in a rush to return home."

His tone hit her like a slap in the face. "N-never mind then, I hope you have a safe journey home."

He nodded and saluted her with a pained look on his face before turning to head back down the hall. Her eyes glistened slightly, she felt the pressure of tears building behind them but she tried to push those emotions down. They both made their choices and here laid the consequences, she would learn to deal with them.

M'Baku thought his feet could not carry him back to his carriage fast enough. He wanted nothing more than to flee this palace, and retreat to his own home to sulk and nurse his bruised heart. He thought they had started to build something... something beautiful and as quickly as it was put together, it crumbled.

"M'Baku!"

He grimaced as he heard the unmistakable timbre of his king calling after him. He wanted so badly to ignore him and if this was a time in the past, he would have. But he respected T'Challa, and was growing to see him as something resembling a friend. So he pushed down his annoyance and heartbreak to speak to his King, praying to Hanuman that this was a short conversation. He almost jumped clean out of his skin to find the King directly behind him instead of down the hall.

"My king?"

"Leaving so soon?" T'Challa asked, his tone pleasant and airy, not like someone addressing the man whom he found making out with one of his younger sisters the day prior.

"Yes, I have matters to attend to at home. What can I do for you?" M'Baku decided to cut the formalities short, he knew T'Challa did not stop him for that.

T'Challa nodded, his face descending into a more serious look. "Are you in love with my sister?"

He eyed the look of surprise that passed across M'Baku's face before adding, "I speak to you not as King but as an older brother who just wants his sister to be happy. There is no wrong answer here. Are you in love with her?"

"Yes," M'Baku replied shortly. There was not much else to say, this was all very simple to him.

T'Challa gestured forward, allowing the man to continue his journey toward his carriage as they walked.

"My sister always pretends to be happy, never complains about her horrible treatment at the hands of my parents or her regulation to being a prisoner in her own home. She always tries to hide it but it shows... it always shows in her eyes. They hold a certain sadness, or at least they have every single day for the last 15 years. The only other person on this Earth who I have seen with eyes like that died a few weeks ago. I couldn't save him, couldn't undo the injustices my family doled out upon him. But I... I can save Asha."

"Forgive me, my King. But I don't understand what you want from me?"

"When my sister walked off the Talon 24 hours ago, she looked like a completely different person. Joy and happiness radiated off her like light from the Sun. It was the first day I looked at my sister and didn't see that sadness. I do not have to be as smart as Shuri or as intuitive as Nakia to know who brought that about. My sister is in love with you. I want you to know that before you get in that carriage and resign to writing her off for the rest of your life. She is stuck between her heart and obligation, what she wants and what she has been conditioned to believe she should have. And Shuri and I are trying to help her but... As a brother, I-I am just asking you not to give up on her just yet."

As he finished, they reached his carriage. T'Challa did not wait for M'Baku to respond, he simply saluted him before turning on his heels to tread the same path back into the palace. Meanwhile, M'Baku just stood there staring after him for a while, another plan to forget Asha slowly sinking down the drain.

****

"M'Baku!"

He tore his eyes from the mountains, ready to snap at the man foolish enough to interrupt him, only to find N'Danna standing not too far behind him. N'Danna looked annoyed as if he had been calling the chief's name for a while. M'Baku clearly hadn't heard him, trapped in a cycle of his own thoughts, the light wind blowing past, and the nighttime jitters of the forest.

He barely acknowledged his second-in-command, knowing his best friend would just come and occupy the empty spot next to him. And sure enough, he felt his presence beside him as the man dusted the snow off the odd-shaped, massive boulder M'Baku was currently sitting on and sat down beside him.

"You are a hard man to find since returning from the Golden City," N'Danna mused as he took his cue from his chief and began staring at the mountains in front of him.

N'Danna supposed they were really just staring at nothing. He knew mountains were there, visible when the sun was high in the sky. But in such darkness, the best they could see was a vague outline. His gaze fell down to the village below that was still bustling with activity, lights branching out like veins in the darkness.

"How long have you been out here?"

"Since the sunset."

"You have turned into somewhat of a sunset enthusiast. And why did you decide to come out here on the coldest night of the winter?" N'Danna inquired.

M'Baku shook his head, "I don't know. I have come here every night for the last three days. I say I am not going to come and still I find myself out here all night. Not sure what answers I expect to find out here though."

N'Danna nodded, both men leaning back and laying against the rocks to look up at the midnight sky and twinkling stars.

"This is a good spot to find answers I suppose. And being here probably makes you feel closer to her, right?"

The two men turned to each other and N'Danna let out a light chuckle at the disgruntled look on his friend's face.

"I didn't even get that from your thoughts this time. Just an observation. You have been this way for the last few days, ever since you got back." Silence fell over the two for a moment before N'Danna spoke again. "Talk to me, M'Baku. What is going on with you? I have never seen you like this before."

When he didn't say anything initially, N'Danna assumed he opted to ignore his question. It wouldn't be the first time his friend chose to ignore things instead of addressing them. And so, after a few minutes of quiet, N'Danna returned his attention to the barely visible mountains ahead of them. He was surprised when he finally heard a response minutes later.

"I fell in love with her," M'Baku stated out of the blue. N'Danna wished he could see beneath the Earth's surface, and get confirmation of his suspicion that Hell had indeed frozen over at this admission. M'Baku had been with many women in his 30 years of living and had never so much as uttered a word similar to "love" toward any of them, such a word was vacant from his vocabulary. Now N'Danna understood, he got it. His poor chief had fallen fast and hard for the first time and was left out in the cold, a cold he was not accustomed to.

"And s-she rejected me. I was j-jus- And now she is about to be engaged... engaged to a man wh-" words failed him as he tried to verbalize how truly frustrating this all was. But his words resembled his thoughts, jumbled and disjointed as he tried to sift through the complex web he had woven. "About to live her life in hiding and secret again. It just does not make sense!"

"Why does that bother you so much? It is her life to live. If she chooses to hide and waste it, what is it to you?"

M'Baku gave him an incredulous look, immediately standing from the boulder to pace beside it. N'Danna was a Chosen, M'Baku was baffled that he could not see the issue in all this.

"Because she deserves better! She deserves what every person like her in these mountains has: the opportunity to be yourself, be raised to see the limitless power of what Hanuman has given you, the chance to do anything. That is what you have! That is what all of the Chosen have. It is not fair that she was stripped of that... Striped of that to be what? Someone of her power reduced to a rung on a ladder for a power-hungry shell of a man. It is not right."

"She is a princess, M'Baku, these obligations come with the territory. I am sure she is just doing what she thinks is best."

M'Baku scoffed, "Screw the obligations of royalty! We are talking about a woman who possesses powers... a gift that these mountains - Hell I would wager the world has not seen in generations. She is a once-in-a-lifetime gift, limitless power at her fingertips. She is not ordinary, she deserves more than ordinary!"

N'Danna sighed, sitting up.

"You speak of the Chosen as if we are Gods and Goddesses M'Baku. That has always been the problem, this altar you exalt us to, you prayed to be one of us when you don't really understand the burden we all carry. Asha is not limitless, none of us are! Asha was raised to hide, taught to be ashamed of who she was. Her powers are not unlimited. They are faulty, complicated, powerful, rare, stressed, beautiful and malleable just as the woman who wields them. You are so blinded by the beauty of her powers that you cannot see the tragedy in it. And that is why you are so disappointed. Not because she chose another man, but because she is has something you have longed for and she is showing you that not everyone is happy to be gifted... not everyone wants it. She may be a once-in-a-lifetime power, I do not doubt that, but she is also a young girl stuck between impossible choices, stuck between realities."

M'Baku shook his head, "Being with me is an impossible choice? Following your heart, choosing a better life is an impossible choice? I showed her how life could be different. Ok, you say it is not freedom, fine. But it is so much more than what she has now. How hard of a choice is that?"

"Following your heart has consequences, running up here to be with you and throw fire around to her heart's content has consequences. And not just for her... for her family, for all of Wakanda. She is a member of the Royal Family, for Hanuman's sake. P-people learn to love their chains M'Baku. Sometimes they become more comfortable, safer than what lies outside them. You offer her freedom but ignore the price of that freedom. Maybe she is not willing to pay it after only knowing you for two days."

M'Baku sighed and bowed his head, looking toward the forest to his left, the dark branches loaded down with fresh snow from the storm earlier that day.

"I j-just... I want better for her. I thought I could help bring light into her life and maybe, I just don't know how to accept that I failed. I-I don't know how to go back to life before her," he admitted honestly.

"Perhaps it is not all about you. You want her, and I understand that. But you did help her start down a path of self discovery. The Asha who left here last week is very different from the one who came here at first. She will find it difficult to retreat to her old life. Maybe you planted seeds that will flourish one day but you don't get to bask in the garden's beauty... it may not be meant for you. I know it is not what you want but you may have to accept that it is all you will get."

The two men stared at each other as his words settled in M'Baku's mind. This was probably the most honest conversation the two men had ever had in their friendship, N'Danna was the only person willing to tell M'Baku when he was wrong, push him down the correct path when he was stuck, straying or stalling to find it himself.

"The King asked me not to give up on her, not to push her away," he offered quietly, the grief of a love lost clear in his voice.

"Then don't, if you don't want to. She is not getting married Sunday, merely publicly announcing her engagement. So much can happen between now and the altar. But until then, you can stop torturing yourself and all of us," he added with a joking tone and smile, "Let her go and let the chips fall where they may. If she is meant to be yours, Hanuman will bring her back."

M'Baku nodded slowly. He looked over N'Danna's shoulder toward the center of the cliff they stood on. It was like a movie in front of him, he could see them clear as day. He wished he could go back to that moment, wrapped in the warmth of each other and deep in their own world. It was worth it, he decided, whatever heartbreak he had to endure the last few days or was in store for him moving forward.

"Let us go home, M'Baku. You got the answers you need."

M'Baku smiled at his friend and they both walked back to their individual carriages. Before it pulled off, he smiled sadly at that spot again, knowing he wouldn't be back here any time soon. N'Danna was right, Hanuman sent the answers he was desperately seeking. He just had to listen.

****

Asha felt like she had blinked and suddenly the week was almost over. She was not complaining though. A busy mind meant she couldn't pine for M'Baku, grief the loss of him, or think about her upcoming public engagement, which made all of this official, not some back alley deal between their parents. Staying busy was the only way to keep those thoughts and her looming dread at bay.

She had to admit though, without the allure of M'Baku and Jabariland, Asha realized that her new job lacked a certain appeal. But... she felt like everything lacked a certain appeal these days.

However, when darkness fell and the palace quieted, it hit her the hardest. She didn’t really need sleep so she couldn't count on it to take her away from it all and sometimes, even the unconscious world was unsafe. She counted at least one dream a night that featured M'Baku in some fashion.

And that is how she found herself after a particularly packed Thursday, laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and praying to Bast to let her sleep. But no such luck. She tossed and she turned, and she thought of no one and nothing else but that man up the mountains and their last conversation.

It is clear that he is falling for you. You could escape... leave all this behind, the panther inside seemed to whisper, desperate to return to its life outside its cage. You hate it here.

I don't hate it here, she argued back. My family is here. Well, at least T'Challa and Shuri... Nakia, Alexis, Okoye - they are all here. I couldn't just leave them to deal with whatever wrath Elder Shani could unleash.

But this isn't for you anymore.

The thought made Asha cringe a little, knowing she could never say that out loud. What would her siblings say? It would devastate them. But it was not untrue, she realized in those quiet, lonely and restless moments in the dead of the night. After her father's death, her life was supposed to get easier with less restrictions and a bit more freedom. Yet somehow, the chains felt heavier and tighter. Pretending to be normal had never been this... this hard.

She felt like an animal being herded back into captivity after experiencing the wild, a life driven by its own desires. She did not realize what it would take to learn to re-love her chains, the pieces of her soul they siphon from her to do so. She shed them so quickly and willingly up the mountains, savored every second of the sweet freedom it offered her. And just like that she was back here, ripped out of her dreams into reality. She didn't expect it to be so hard truthfully... had no idea the pain she was preparing herself for.

She knew one thing though - this would never be enough, not after she experienced something different. This bastardized freedom her brother gave her just wouldn't do. It was the best he could offer, she certainly didn't fault him for it. But compared to what M'Baku showed her? This was merely a weak imitation.

She pulled the fluffy white pillow from beside her on top of her face and screamed into it, loud enough to release her frustration but not loud enough to send Alexis racing into her room, spear raised. Annoyance rippled through her that her body would not just allow her the simple reprieve from this world for another, the downside of sleep being a mere luxury and not a necessity for survival.

This just isn't helping, she ultimately decided.

Her mind drifted around the palace, thinking of all the places she could go to distract her and pass the night hours. Shuri's private lab was an option but she knew the young girl liked to work through the night and was not interested in talking to anyone. Her mind wandered to the library, which was a solid option of unlimited solitude. But even that did not have a certain appeal, she just thought of him and how they first met.

The training center?

There was an idea she could work with, a space that could not remind her of him. Besides, nothing cleared the mind like a good at was an idea she could work with. Nothing cleared the mind like a work out and thanks to her brother, she had a brand new, never been used training center of her own to test out. It was the only spot that offered any sort of appeal to her now. She slid out of bed and quickly changed her clothes.

Alexis stood at attention, saluting her before Asha told her where she was going and convinced her to take the rest of the night off.

She walked across the palace and downstairs, entering the main training room and immediately heading for a discreet door on the back wall. One full body scan later and the door slid open for her to enter.

It was beautiful, Asha thought to herself as she walked around the room. It was long and slender unlike the expansive training room on the other side of the wall. The cushioned training mat floor was soft beneath her feet, the tall ceilings overheard would give her just enough space to practice sustaining flight, sleek walls embedded with blue flecks of vibranium that glowed lighting the room in a blue hue.

One thing did confuse her though, the lack of equipment. She looked around, trying to understand the mechanics of the space. It was completely empty, all except for the computer monitor across from the entrance. As if it sensed her presence as she approached, it immediately lit up and offered a menu of training modes for Asha to choose from. Asha slowly took her rings off, sitting them and her shoes together in the corner, before scrolling through the many options and settings. She didn't understand how any of them would work with no equipment but she never got a proper tutorial of the space. But she knew her brother was smart so she chose combat and figured that she would learn as she went.

She walked to the center of the room and on cue, the lights dimmed and suddenly, a hologram of a person came racing toward her. Asha barely had time to think or process before the attacker raised a digital weapon and a loud bang sounded across the silent room.

Before she knew it, a massive blast of air knocked her on her back and let her know that she had been hit.

"Simulation over," a computerized female voice called throughout the room. "Assailant: 1; Asha: 0."

A small groan escaped her throat as she slowly sat up and tried to catch her breath.

Once she was on her feet again, she called out, "Again," signaling for the simulation to restart.

She sank into a defensive position as the lights darkened again, focusing her eyes on the wall at the end of the room and preparing for the man to emerge once more. She watched, waiting as nothing happened. But soon, she felt a presence behind her. She turned quickly, not wasting precious seconds this time. She immediately threw a ball of fire at the figure causing it to crumble to the ground and disappear.

She was so distracted watching the hologram disappear that she was surprised to feel a small blast of air hit her shoulder, directing her attention to a hologram on the window ledge. She was finally starting to understand the mechanics of combat mode, Asha killed that assailant next. This continued for 10 minutes, Asha dodging targets and their weapons. The simulation ended with another sneak attack, causing her to realize that any blow that would be fatal in the real world caused the simulation to cease.

Still, as she heard the score back, she felt as though she had redeemed herself. Not that it really mattered, there was no one there to see it. Asha: 10, Assailants: 5 was not bad for her second round.

Asha watched as the computer pulled up a heat signature of the room, red and orange on random spots around the room. She pressed a glowing "extinguish" button, which caused the room to release the targeted extinguisher to those spots, returning the room to normal.

Asha went through combat mode three more times, the assailants and patterns changing every time. They became more complex, she realized, the room analyzing her battle patterns and movements to push her harder. By her last round, Asha had kicked her powers into high gear, certainly more energy than she had ever used. But she looked like a skilled dancer instead of a clumsy fawn as she ran, jumped and dodged blasts across the room. She threw fire, caused diversions, hovered in the air to better examine the full field of attackers. She created life-sized fire panthers that chased down her attackers and killed them at her command like her own personal army. She even realized that once or twice, she could block the blasts with a fire shield, though she couldn't sustain it. The last simulation only ended when a voice overpowered the settings. Asha was directing a panther to attack three figures who were running from it from her position in the air when she saw her brother leaning against the wall in the corner.

"Simulation over," the voice said again as Asha made the fire disappear and landed softly back on the ground. She did not acknowledge her brother initially, walking to grab her shoes and rings as the voice said, "Assailants: 3, Asha: 25."

"I was trying to get to 30," she called, realizing how out of breath and tired she was as she tried to talk and walk over to him.

The room did a final extinguish of the night as they both moved back into the main training center. She sat down on the floor, exhausted, to drink some water.

"I needed a training partner. Trust me, you looked amazing, you were just showing off at that point. I am surprised to find you down here. Have you ever even used it since I built it?"

Asha's chest heaved as she caught her breath. She didn't understand how she felt this exhausted despite only training for an hour.

"Not since Baba. Figured now was as good a time as any. I couldn't sleep. You either?" She looked at the time on her beads: 3 am.

"Nope. I woke up and tossed around for a bit before something told me that this was the place to be tonight. Now I know why. Train with me," he asked assertively. She knew it was not a legitimate question. There was only one proper answer when her brother wanted a late-night sparring partner.

T'Challa powered up his suit, the only thing that would protect his skin from burns when practicing hand-to-hand combat with Asha. She sank into her battle stance, ignoring the exhaustion in her body. T'Challa was the better fighter, regardless of Asha's lethal abilities, because he practiced more and had super strength and speed. He knew all of Asha's moves and how to respond while it seemed she could never keep up with him. If he was being honest, these sessions were more for Asha than him.

After letting Asha win twice and beating her once, T'Challa let her fall back on the training floor to rest.

"That was good, you are getting better," he offered as he sat on a bench next to her. She envied him, she looked like she had just stepped out of a pool of her own sweat while he looked as if he could walk into a state dinner, perfectly unruffled despite fighting for 30 minutes.

"Thanks," she nodded.

"How are you? I meant to check in earlier this week, see how you are enjoying your work."

"The work is good T'Challa. I enjoy it. Everything is good," she responded lightly, hoping that would be enough to end the line of questioning she was sure was forming on his lips.

They hadn't really spoken since the drama at the state dinner the week prior and she had been kind of avoiding him to keep it that way. She did not want to talk to anyone about this but something felt especially odd about going to her older brother about her love life. She knew T'Challa had his way, she would be single forever so no one could hurt her.

"Asha..."

She turned her head away from him, recognizing that tone. He was descending into full big brother mode, desiring to talk about her feelings and fix whatever problems he thought plagued her. Asha knew he meant well and he tried, but most of her problems... he actually couldn't fix. And this one would be no different.

"Talk to me. Everything is not good. You are not ok. You are different, we can all see it. Don't keep it all bottled up."

Asha sighed, wiping the sweat off her forehead with the towel next to her.

"If I could explain it, T'Challa, I would."

"Try... for me. As long as it takes."

"Before I went to Jabariland, the idea of leaving this palace terrified me. You know how resistant I was to take on this role in the first place. All I could think of is Baba saying that I was dangerous and all the ways I could hurt or kill people. And so, staying here, being a good princess and marrying Hasani... it was prison but it was a comfortable one. Over time, the chains hurt less... the frustration faded and I learned to love and appreciate the life I had. It was not the best but it was enough."

"But then you experienced something different?" He offered.

Asha looked at him, appreciating that he was giving her the opening to admit the one thing she thought she had to keep secret to spare his feelings.

"But then I experienced something different," she echoed. "Thanks to you, by the way," she nudged him playfully. "Something life-changing. He pushed me to the edge and made me rethink everything I had thought about my powers before. Made me see beauty in the flowers where I only saw weeds. And then on top of that... I-I fell in love with him. So fast and hard like I jumped off a cliff. And then I came back here and... reality just hit me like a rhino. I am forced to hide... cannot have the man I love. I j-just don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Do what?" T'Challa asked, pained by his sister speaking so despondently and knowing there was little he could do to help her.

"This," she whispered, gesturing at her hands. "Pretending to be something I am not, hiding the one thing that makes me unique. Every day I get up and I put these rings on and head down to my office, I realize that this is it. All I have to look forward to for the rest of my days is Hasani and a life in the darkness. It will never be enough. Just doesn't seem like much of a life to me anymore."

Asha stared at the wall across from them, a painting of Bast on the training room wall, while T'Challa stared at her profile. The two just sat there for a while, not saying anything at all, as T'Challa thought over what Asha said. It was not that he didn't want to say anything, he just couldn't think of anything appropriate. What do you say to someone who no longer thinks their future is worth it?

"What can I do?" he settled on.

He was a fixer, he could help her fix this and forge a path forward.

She offered him a sad smile, "I am not sure there is anything you can do, brother."

"Nonsense, I am king," he boasted, causing the two to share a laugh.

"Even kings have limitations, just like the rest of us." She stood up, holding out her hand to pull her brother to his feet. "Come, let us go to bed. There is so much to be done before the start of the festival this weekend."

T'Challa nodded, knowing she was ending the conversation to avoid talking about it. He knew he would not sleep when he returned to his bed, instead he would be thinking of how to give his sister freedom, true freedom, no matter the cost.

****

"Did T'Challa tell you what this was about?" Shuri asked as they briskly walked down to the throne room, after being alerted of an emergency council meeting.

"No. We were training together last night, he never mentioned needing to gather the council early. I asked Nakia, she said he didn't mention it to her either. You would think he would trust his most trusted advisor though? Titles mean less and less around here every day," Asha joked.

She and Shuri shared a laugh as they entered and settled in their seats, finding most of the council already assembled.

Their mother walked in followed by T'Challa, who looked grim and exhausted. She shared a confused and concerned look with her sister as they all did the customary salute before directing her attention back to her brother. She was so concerned that she didn't even have much time to lament over M'Baku who was sitting across from her.

"Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I realize this is unorthodox but this could not wait. I was up for most of the night, thinking and praying about the future of this nation. After deep prayer with Bast, I realized I can no longer sit by while injustice runs rampant within our borders. That is why I will be announcing the repeal of the Mutant Regulation Laws at the Festival of Bast on Sunday, effective immediately."

There was a beat of silence before shouts and anger erupted among the group as his words settled in the room like fog. The shouts overlapping rants of her mother, Elder Shani and two others were incoherent to Asha as they shouted at her brother. She was still trying to formulate a simple thought, his words were bouncing around in her mind but were having trouble truly sticking. Once she emerged from the shock of shock, she couldn't have been happier, repealing those laws would change so much for people like her.

The Mutant Regulation Laws were a set of laws, initially enacted by Asha's grandfather and expanded by King T'Chaka, that attempted to limit mutants movements in the country and to limit the increase of the mutant population. The only people excluded from the laws since their inception were the Jabari.

As far as the public knew, the purpose of the laws were to protect citizens from enhanced individuals. The act stipulated that all mutants had to register with the government and general rules to limit the use of their powers, such as forbidding them in public spaces. This registry was first enacted in response to what her grandfather believed was an exponential increase in the mutant population across the four tribes.

The laws were divisive no doubt, like all controversial things. Many loved them, advocated for further expansions, feeling safe knowing that mutants could not inflict their powers on everyone else. The less vocal half, though, saw them as something that made them no better than the discrimination colonizers around the globe subjected their people to. However, only the Royal family knew the truth, that her father's reasoning for expanding the law had little to do with safety and everything to do with his fragile ego.

As she got older, Asha quickly realized that her father didn't hate mutants because they were dangerous or threatened his country. He hated them simply because they were born with powers he had to win combat to get, powers he had to be deemed worthy for and earn. While they just woke up with them one day, having done no real work to deserve them. As the mantle of Black Panther and title of King caused his ego to grow, he grew equally paranoid that one day, mutants would begin to believe they were the ones actually chosen by Bast and invalidate the legacy of the Black Panther. As the population of mutants grew year after year, his paranoia that he would lose his title of King and Protector grew with it. Soon, a registry to merely keep track of the population was not enough. Soon, he launched a campaign to ensure mutants were the lowest rung on Wakanda's social order. Soon, the registry turned into laws to limit their abilities and resources funding research to find a cure for their affliction.

In the previous council meeting, M'Baku had echoed the sentiments of half the country... that the policies were regressive and a dark stain on Wakanda. But Wakandans were humans, just like those on the other side of their borders. After being fed enough ammunition, people can be conditioned to hate anyone.

T'Challa raised his hand to silence the group, adding, "Lord M'Baku was right, this is not the Wakanda Bast promised her people, at least not for everyone. Not for enhanced individuals, who are just as deserving of the same respect and opportunities as the rest of us. The Jabari and their enhanced people have lived in peace for centuries. We can do the same here."

"Have you lost your mind??" Ramonda asked furiously from her seat next to her son. "That law is part of your father's legacy!"

"Baba was a great king, but that does not mean he was always right. And on this, I feel he was wrong."

"Half of your country sleeps peacefully because of those laws," Elder Shani cried, pointing out the large window at the city below. "Sleep peacefully knowing lethal people cannot murder them or hurt them with no thought. What would you say to those people?"

"Yes and half the country sleeps less peacefully knowing that with all our technology and opportunities and advancement, we are no better than the colonizers who discriminate against people for their race or gender or sexuality. It is not right," Nakia interjected.

"You will end your father's legacy in one day. You will destroy everything he has built, the tribe and country he has created."

"The tribe and legacy he built on the backs of a brother he murdered, a child he abandoned and rampant discrimination of his people! Would that be such a bad thing?" Asha argued quietly, drawing the group's attention (and subsequently, their anger) toward her.

She almost balked at the looks her mother and Elder Shani gave her but when she looked passed them, she was met with a reassuring and encouraging nod from M'Baku that empowered her to press forward.

"This is a good thing," she asserted, shoulders squared and head held high.

"Of course you would think so," Elder Shani sneered. "I am sure you were the one that forced him to do this. People like you are destroying our country."

The room fell silent as the other elders stared shocked at their fellow member, seemingly surprised at her very vocal and unwarranted disrespect toward a member of the Royal Family.

"Elder Shani! Princess Asha is royal advisor to the King, our princess. Apologize at once!" Elder M’Kathu exclaimed.

"I shall do no such thing! The only thing that makes her worthy to sit before us is that crown on her head... her title. She is beneath me, beneath all of us," she spat at Asha, staring at her with such contempt.

Asha sat rigid in her chair as her future mother-in-law threw her vitriol at her. Asha wondered if this was how out-of-body experiences felt. She could so very clearly see where this train was going, see how her life's secret was about to implode before her eyes in a manner of moments but she could not direct her mouth to say a word or her limbs to move. She just sat, paralyzed and silent, unable to save herself or stop the train that was about to carry her whole family off a cliff.

"Elder Shani... I would think about what is at stake before you say another word to or about my sister," T'Challa threatened, his voice low and deadly.

For a split-second, the room saw it - a king no longer sat before them, the Black Panther did. For most, this would have been enough to slam on the brakes and beg for forgiveness. But it seemed Elder Shani was done, tired of pretending to respect someone she felt was beneath her, tired of keeping a secret for a person she despised. And her hate would not be outweighed by her greed any longer, she clearly couldn't take it.

"I told your father! I told him, warned him of the damage you and your affliction would cause him. Even from the grave, you destroy him and taint his legacy. Your kind... your disease destroyed him and it will lead to the end of Wakanda! You are a threat to us all." She took a deep breath before continuing, "Princess Asha is a mutant! The Panther Tribe has been hiding it, lying to their people for decades. Hiding her and t-this abomination from us all! And now she has our King under some spell, convinced him to uproot all the safety and security we have worked so hard to build."

As she spoke, Asha could feel rage rising in her body. It was steady, slowly building with every word that fell from Shani's lips as she spewed her hate and vitriol for all to hear. She tried to calm herself, control her breathing and emotions as she sat there, push them back down so she could get through the night. But it was proving to be impossible. The metal bars of her panther's cage were meaningless, being torn apart like pieces of paper as her emotions reached their peak.

"That is enough! Take her away!" T'Challa stood before her, directing the Dora to come and escort Elder Shani from the room.

Asha held her head in her hands as she took sharp, shallow breaths. Her whole body shook as she tried her hardest to not lose it in front of her family and the remaining members of the council.

"Asha."

She heard Shuri's voice and felt her hand on her shoulder causing her to jump up. Everyone seemed to back away from her immediately, causing Asha to notice the smoke and small flickers of flames erupting from her hands. The rings around her fingers were completely useless as the flames continued to grow steadily. Asha could only recall one moment in her life when she felt this out of control, the day her brother “died.”

She got up and backed away to put some distance between her and the rest of the group.

"Stay back!" she yelled through her gasping breaths, holding her hand out and inadvertently causing flames to fly toward her family.

The Dora around the room instinctively lifted their spears, the remaining elders fled to the opposite wall as far from her as possible. But her family remained where they were, M'Baku being the brave soul to ignore her direction and approach her, unbothered by the uncontrollable fire escaping her body. Fire that grew stronger and bigger as Elder Shani's words cycled through her brain nonstop, causing her despair and rage to grow. Years of ignoring her emotions, years of trauma and abuse were finally boiling over. Tonight was the final push off the cliff, she could not do this anymore.

"Asha.. you have to calm down," M'Baku whispered, motioning for the rest of her family to stay behind him.

He wished he could get her to look into his eyes but as he looked at her blood-red irises and the tears streaming down her face, he realized she looked without truly seeing.

"You are none of those things. You are beautiful and powerful. You are not dangerous. Don't become what they fear you are."

She heard his voice, understood the words he was saying but she didn't believe them, not when 25 years of abuse cycled in her mind to counter it. She looked around the room and all she saw was fear, proof that her home, the place she loved would never truly accept her. Elder Shani proved that. She had freed her from hiding but she also ensured that Asha couldn't stay here anymore, not when people looked at her like what she always feared she was: a monster.

She couldn't do it, wouldn't do it, didn't have the strength to subject herself to it any longer. This was her out and she was going to take it. She looked from her family to the window across from her.

She didn't think about it, didn't consider the mechanics. She just tore herself from the wall she backed herself into and ran toward the window. Her body lifted off the floor into flight as she used a blast of fire to cause the glass to break open for her.

"Asha no! Come back, " she heard her sister call after her.

She turned back and looked at them once as she used all the energy she could muster to fly away from her, her family, her home and her past for good.

Night had fallen during the course of that meeting, giving Asha a nice cover so no one could see her flying overhead. She zoomed out of the dome quickly, her mind not even conjuring up a location or place to go. She just wanted as much distance between her life and her as possible, knowing she would run into the border at some point.

The wind painfully whipped against her face, causing her eyes to blur so she could barely see where she was going. In her emotionally-heightened state, it proved difficult to sustain flight as she passed over the uninhabited forests of Wakanda. As she tried to sort through the wreckage that was her life, she could not concentrate on her task, which caused her to lose height or speed every few minutes. And it just became harder and took more energy to accelerate and regain the height she lost every time she had to refocus.

This cycle lasted for about 20 minutes before she had to reckon with this hastily made choice. She had no idea where she was or if she was even still in Wakanda, all she saw for miles were forest. She figured she must still be in the country, she couldn't fly that fast. In a short time, the explosive anger that coursed through her in the throne room was long gone, replaced with very real fear. Fear that taking an impromptu flight with no direction, after only one lesson, and without telling one living soul where she was headed was the worst decision she had ever made.

She realized soon that she had no choice but to turn around and pray to Bast that she could sustain flight enough to get back to civilization. This was not sustainable and she knew it. She frantically looked around for a landmark in the trees, anything that looked familiar and could provide her a spot to rest before finishing the journey. She spotted the temple by the Garden of the Heart-Shaped Herb, silently thanking Bast and deciding that it would be as good of a spot as any to catch her breath. She headed in that direction. However, like a real fire reaching its end, Asha could see her internal fire slowly dying out.

"No don't do this, we are almost there," she begged herself as the fire encompassing her hands and feet started to die away as well.

Her mind felt cloudy and it was a struggle to keep her eyes open. Before she knew it, her eyes fell closed, her fire having died out completely, and her body fell gracefully from the sky before thudding in a small clearing in the forest at the foot of the Temple of Bast.

****

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