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#thomas mention
incorrectbatfam · 20 days
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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations
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vmkhoneyy · 1 year
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“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!
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wally-friggin-franks · 6 months
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brain stop giving me soft mems to miss him by, hes not coming back it wont work. idiot. rookie mistake
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frownyalfred · 2 months
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I hc that both Thomas and Martha had advanced degrees and that the common refrain in Gotham is how “disappointing” it is that their son turned out vapid and degree-less.
Meanwhile, Bruce is probably the smartest man in Gotham and has the equivalent of 4-5 different advanced degrees. And he hears that shit they say, too.
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randomnerd737 · 1 month
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I was thinking about the 5 year anniversary video and
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it is interesting to me how Patton kind of decided for Logan what his role in the "family" would be. all the other sides chose it themselves, but he didn't get to.
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even when he actively objects it's played for laughs and never addressed. this happened too when Patton revealed his name for him, and I just think it's interesting to note that after all these years, Logan still never gets to decide anything when it comes to Thomas, or even himself, to an extent. it's just kind of decided for him and he is expected to just go along with it, similar to how it was when Thomas dyed his hair.
ik it's mainly a "haha wine mom" moment, but that doesn't take away from how angsty it gets when you think about it.
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emo-batboy · 2 months
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Somewhere out there in the DC multiverse, there’s a world where Battinson’s parents didn’t die, and he became the Lance Stroll of Formula One racing. Wayne Enterprises has an F1 team, Thomas brought Bruce to races when he was young, they indulged his love of cars until he was winning kart races at 8. He BEGGED to help design the race cars, ended up making a great car, and now Wayne has turned from a midfield team to nearly top three.
You’d think everyone hates Bruce because he’s a nepo baby, but he’s just so nice and smiley (like Lance lol) that everyone loves him anyway. His dad is the team’s chairman and pretty hands-on just like Lawrence Stroll. Fans call Bruce the F1 Princess as a joke since he’s already the Prince of Gotham, but then it sticks, and now everyone makes edits of him with tiaras on every time he makes it to the podium. He doesn’t get it, but he’s not going to complain either. His fans are just silly. (He blushes so much when anyone calls him princess to his face, though. Fight me.)
Bruce still insists on everything being black because it’s his favorite color. It was already mostly black before he joined, but now it’s even blacker. His suit is all black. The car is all black. The helmet is all black. He loves it. He looks just like the dark, regal old money rich boy you’d imagine until he’s smiling and talking about racing. (Imagine a meme with two cars next to each other, one being WE’s. It says: “Bruce’s Car v. Bruce’s Personality.” The other one is covered in glitter obv.) One time, a little girl gives him a tiara that she painted black herself and asks him to wear it if he wins. (He does win. He puts it on at the podium. He’s embarrassed the entire time. The champagne rubs some of the black away. It’s a treasured memory and sits right on top in his trophy case.)
His fellow drivers call him Brucie to tease him. He’s a bit awkward during interviews, but that just makes him endearing. He’s also tall for an F1 driver (nepo baby core) so there’s always jokes about him towering over everyone. One time, he came second to Lewis Hamilton, but you could still see he was visibly standing taller on the podium, and people would not stop making jokes about it. (It was mostly his hair, but you know how Twitter is.) Speaking of hair, it will NOT stay flat. He looks insane every time he takes his helmet off. He could be sweating for hours in there but when he takes the thing off, he looks like he’s through in a tornado. (Again, memes.) He knows so much about car mechanics, even for a driver, and will regularly start talking to other drivers or the press about the tiniest of parts in the engine or break system, unaware that everyone is completely lost. (Also memes about that.)
When he’s 23, he suffers a pretty bad crash. It knocks him out for about twenty seconds, and his mom and dad are ready to pull him completely from the sport, but he refuses to stop, and despite missing a few races to recover—his dad’s still a doctor—he ends up winning the next race and gets to stay.
During his F1 career, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’ll get fastest laps, but he only gets podium like 40–50% of the time. There’s always drama that apparently Wayne Enterprises is trying to become top three, but they insist that they’re not as competitive. They will always have respect for every team, and it shows. They never join in on protests. They always wish the other teams luck, and they genuinely congratulate the winners. Bruce is always the first to hug the winner :)
Before Bruce joined, the Wayne team was always a midfield team, and they were perfectly comfortable with it. WE had good-looking cars, they designed good-looking cars, and they sold good-looking cars, and F1 was just a way of promoting that. Thomas loved watching the races, and he was happy to see them get podium a few times per season, and that was it.
Until Bruce became their lead driver, and he wanted to really earn his seat, and he wanted to get podium, and he wanted to design a faster car, and he wanted to win, and Thomas Wayne couldn’t say no to his son, and suddenly Wayne Enterprises was inching closer and closer to the front of the grid. Now, they’re still not The Best, but they’re a team that future drivers look up to.
During a season of DTS, Bruce is 27. Netflix films the Wayne episode when there’s a fatal crash in F2, and Bruce was nearby when it happened. He ends up crying on camera for ten minutes. They had to cut almost all of it, but we get the most gut-wrenching confessional about how after he heard the news, in that moment, he didn’t want to be an F1 driver. He admits that if he hadn’t become a driver, he was going to become a doctor like his father, and he wonders if he could have saved the driver’s life if he did that instead. “What am I really doing if I can’t help others? I could have been anything…Maybe being a driver was selfish. Maybe I don’t belong on the track anymore.”
He’s visibly distraught during the moment of silence on the day of the race, but Bruce decided to continue because he wants to make the fans and spectators happy. (That’s his job, anyway. That’s what he does.) Despite getting pole position the previous day, he doesn’t get fastest lap or make it to the podium, but he still gets fourth. He has a long talk with his father away from cameras and calls his mom. The future’s uncertain for a few days until Bruce comes back to training. To finish the episode, he says he’s going to continue driving, even if he might need a bit of time to get his confidence back, and he pledges to one day make the safest F1 car ever seen. Even if it’s part of the risk of being a driver, he doesn’t want to see any more drivers losing their lives to the sport they love.
When he’s around 35 or 40, he retires from Formula One so he can inherit Wayne Enterprises, and he takes his father’s place as chairman of the team. Since he has the time now, he holds up on his promise to make an even safer car—the designs inspiring safer car designs for other teams as well—and they pick out two incredible drivers who end up finally (FINALLY) moving Wayne Enterprises into one of the top three teams. They win the world championship twice in a row before falling back a bit and only winning it every couple of years, but they’re nonetheless fierce competitors. Bruce still has a ton of kids, some of which like F1 just like he does, but he is the only Wayne to become a Formula One driver.
I just think Battinson would love driving for F1 :)
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allistersatelier · 1 year
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you gotta believe in the heart of the inkantation
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wondersinwaynemanor · 3 months
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when Lian started calling Bruce "Grandpa", his kids didn't want him to forget it.
Bruce passing by outside of Dick's room.
Dick, announces in his loudest voice: Ay, there's Bruce Wayne! The best Grandpa in town. No wait, second best, after Alfred.
Bruce gives his eldest a look.
Dick, lowers his voice: Sorry B, Alfred is the best in everything.
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce stands up from his chair at the dining area to get more tea.
Cass, smiles as she hands Bruce the teapot: Here. Don't tire yourself.
Bruce: Thank you, Sweetheart. But I can get my own tea-
Cass, signs "Grandpa" and leans down to kiss Bruce on the cheek.
Bruce, can't help but smile: Hn.
Steph, peaks through the door of Bruce's study room: Oooh, what's this I hear? Brucie Wayne, famous billionaire and playboy, is now a Grandpa? What would the ladies say? What would the male nation say now?
Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose and focuses on the papers on the table: Hn.
Red Robin, speaks through the comms: I'll drive the Batmobile to you.
Batman: RR, I got it. Stay there-
Red Robin: Nah, I heard you complaining about your back pains the other night.
Batman: It's a regular occurance at this point of my life.
Red Robin, smirks: And we don't want it to be worse, right?
Batman sighs through the comms.
Red Robin: Exactly. ETA 10 minutes. Grandpa.
Batman, growls: Hn.
Duke: Just checking if you need anything before I head out for patrol, B.
Bruce, smiles: I appreciate it. Thank you Duke, but I'm good.
Duke: Steph and Tim said-
Bruce, narrows his eyes: What did they say to you?
Duke, grins: Nothing!
Bruce thinks Duke has left the Batcave but he suddenly shouts,
Duke: Watch your steps carefully when you come back up here, Grandpa. Maybe put more lighting in your cave.
Bruce: Hn.
Damian: How does it feel to be a Grandfather now, Father?
Bruce, smiles instantly: Really good. Lian is wonderful.
Damian, tries to hide a smile: I'm aware, Father. Does this mean Richard gets to be Batman again?
Bruce: What makes you say that?
Damian: Cus I don't you working too hard like Grandfather. That was unhealthy.
Bruce: I'm perfectly healthy, Damian. No need to worry-
Damian, turns off the batcomputer: I insist, Father. We shall put you to bed now.
Bruce: Isn't that my job?
Damian: I don't want to hear another word.
Bruce: Hn.
During breakfast
Jason, turns to face Bruce: Lian has been asking when she can visit her Grandpa.
Steph, howls: Brucie Wayne, the famous Grandpa of all time.
Tim, snickers: Batman, the greatest detective? More like the greatest Grandpa.
Duke, raises his glass of water: Hear, hear.
Cass, giggles as she covers her mouth.
Dick, laughs : Children, not in front of our food, please. Learn how to respect your elders.
Damian: Eat some more, Father.
Jason, laughs: They still at it, huh?
Bruce, sighs and covers his face behind the newspaper as his kids continue to tease him.
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doctorloup · 10 days
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So I found an English translation of Icelandic Dracula
This shit is truly unhinged. I've just got to the point where Dracula is straight up saying it's unclassy for a noble Transylvanian to get mad when his hot cousin wife takes a himbo peasant lover because these things should be expected, you know?
Also apparently I still hear all written Dracula dialogue in @bullshotuk's voice in my head.
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to---the---ark · 26 days
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Do you think Jay got his fear of being without a camera recording him after losing 7 month of memories?
He didn't post any entry during that time, his previous camera got broken, he didn't know where the chest mounted camera came from.
He didn't remember anything at all, and how terrifying was that?
Was he paralysed by fear, when he woke up in that hoter room?
Did he mourn all those missing months, alongside all the things he had started to forget?
Do you think he cried for his mom? For his family? Do you think he was too scared to call them? Do you think he had living family members he was scared to call, not wanting to pull them in that mess? Do you think he was scared of forgetting passed relatives?
Do you think he was tired of forgetting? Tired of having to keep himself together in fear of losing pieces?
When Tim took away his camera, after using the zip ties to keep him still, do you think Jay got scared of forgetting again? Do you think he resented Tim, who only wanted to protect him?
Do you think he felt gratitude towards Hoodie, when he left him a knife to free himself and a camera recording him?
Do you think Hoodie could relate to Jay's fear, and didn't want him to be so scared?
And in his final moments, do you think Jay was grateful to still be recorded? Do you think he wanted to be remembered even as a dead body?
Or do you think he thought he didn't want his mom to find out like that, to see her baby boy dead and gone in such a tragic and unfair way?
I think about these things a lot, in these days, my memory failing me constantly...
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incorrectbatfam · 29 days
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How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths
Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play
Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later
Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins
Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together
Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls
Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it
What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels
What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye
What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother
What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back
What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important
What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?
What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"
What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too
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shyjusticewarrior · 21 days
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[Jason and Tim training after Jason got his fear failsafe]
Jason: You're holding back.
Tim: That's what sparring is, Jason.
Jason: When I sparred with Signal he pointed my gun at me.
Duke: It's true.
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wally-friggin-franks · 8 months
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i wonder if he ever thought 'bout me as much as i think 'bout him
prob'ly not, right? i mean, he always seemed so... confident. in everything he did. like he always knew what he was doin'. even if he was wrong.
why'd he even care for a "loose bolt" like me? i don't get it. i don't think i want to know anymore.
i need to shut my trap 'n go to bed, this type of thinkin' isn't good for anybody.
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geraldmariaivo · 1 year
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Duke: Hey, B?
Bruce: Yes?
Duke: so like…why does Damian look like That?
Bruce: …
Bruce: he’s Arabic and East Asian.
Duke: I-
Duke:  
Duke: So is my classmate Sue, but she doesn’t look like there’s a neon green lava lamp under her skin.
Bruce:
Bruce: Damian looks like WHAT-
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loo-nuh-tik · 1 month
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Yeah yeah. Nothing to worry about. I'm dealing with him.
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wri0thesley · 2 years
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guilty jacking off. they know they shouldn’t want you, but you’re just so easy to imagine when they’re feeling particularly lonely in their beds. if it’s just a little fantasising, what’s the harm - right?
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cw: guilty jacking off, not sfw, afab reader implied (no pronouns). mentions of power dynamics (kaeya, diluc, thoma). breeding mention (gorou). double dick zhongli, as it should be. 
ft (and thank you to the anons who sent their little requests in for who it should be about):  kaeya, gorou, ayato, thoma, diluc, zhongli, kazuha
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kaeya is certainly not used to feeling guilt about this. though he does harbour various guilts within himself, generally he considers flirting and sex a pleasant distraction - that is, until you walked into his life. lovely, sweet, and untouchable lest he wish to have any of his under-recruits in the knights of favonius think him a pervert taking advantage of his station, kaeya cannot help but watch you when he thinks you’re not looking. cannot help but correct your form when holding a sword, give a little more praise to you than most people hear from him. and it does not help that you look at him with that wide-eyed hero worship so many new knights do hold for their captains; that you smile and gasp and fervently thank him when he takes time for you. it’s hard not to let that hero worship go to his head - to imagine that you’re knelt before him, instead, treating his cock with that same desperate revenance all to hear a kind word from your superior. it’s hard not to think of your mouth stuffed full, the bulge in your throat, the feel of his hand about the back of your neck as he hungrily pumps into you and relished the feel of your pretty lips wrapped around him. and when he does have such thoughts, there is really no other option than to wrap his hand around his cock and fuck his fist to them. 
gorou spends a lot of time at sangonomiya shrine, searching out the divine priestess for battle meetings or new instructions or other such business, when her busy schedule does not allow her to come down to find him - and it’s this which has forced him to pay attention to the shy, gentle shrine maiden who has seemingly been assigned to look after him whilst he is there. oh, he’s incredibly guilty about it - not only a civilian, but a shrine maiden, who is supposed to be sweet and pure and who he knows could never truly reciprocate his advances-- but that doesn’t stop the fact that the merest spike of your scent on the air makes him want to whine and paw at the ground and hope that how hard he is isn’t visible. you’re so sweet to him. one of the first times he had come, you had offered him some sweet treat you’d baked, and gorou had fallen fast and hard - and that you’re always happy to see him, shy but polite, lovely and - to his dog brain - so obviously fertile it hurts him does not do a thing to assuage his guilt. and when you occupy his thoughts so completely it’s no surprise he spends his night, in tents, hoping nobody hears him . . . he imagines you on your hands and knees before him as he ruts into you and bites and scratches at your shoulders, as you beg him to fill you up with his seed. 
ayato is terribly glad his sister has made a friend. though she does her duties without complaint and the world at large seem to adore her, he knows her well enough to see her loneliness - and so, your sunshine-bright presence is welcome. he adores the way you bring her out of her shell so carefully, the smile on her face after she’s spent a few hours with you . . . so it’s an awful pity that he can’t look at you over dinner without imagining dismissing the servants and railing you over the fine polished table until you’re crying out his name with your fingers curled helplessly into his shoulders. you’re simply so . . . loyal. so adoring. you have big puppy dog eyes and an eager, friendly nature that makes ayato want to teach you absolute obedience and have you following every order that he gives you as if it’s a life or death situation. he wants you to breathlessly thrust your hips back into his as you pant out, in between his own smooth, measured ones, the question of if you’re doing a good job. he wants to hear you ask how you can fuck him better, how you can make him come harder . . . and it’s the thought of teaching you to be a perfect desperate-to-please doll for him that makes him groan into his fist as he ruts his hips into fine silken sheets. 
thoma understands nobility, after spending so long working for the kamisato clan. he understands arranged marriages and what matches are appropriate and which are not - and it’s this which makes him know that no matter how his eyes linger on you, you’re too far above his station for anything to ever come to fruition. when he is schmoozing in his capacity as housekeeper to esteemed guests of the yashiro commission, he does his best to not give you any special treatment - but it’s hard not to notice you treat him like more than simply the help. hard not for him to notice the pretty shape of your lips and the glint of your eyes, to laugh when he’s surprised as you whisper some joke in his ear. he thinks that it must simply be that you are a good, kind person . . . but for thoma, the thought of those lips and that laughter and that teasing smile are most likely to haunt him on nights when he is aware of how alone he is in his bed. it’s those nights he imagines how your teasing laughter would pitch and break whilst you straddled his lap, as he gently thrust his cock inside of you until you were boneless with pleasure with your arms about his neck. it is a good job that he is the one to do laundry so often, for nights after your visits mean his sheets need a thorough cleaning. 
diluc considers himself a good employer. he’s certain that the maids and the barstaff and the winery workers would consider him the same; he’s polite if a little distant, he pays them well, he doesn’t get over-familiar but he does make a habit of knowing a little about them . . . but you, one of the new bartenders in the angel’s share, are certainly making this difficult for him. he interviewed you himself, and perhaps (it is shameful to admit it) he may have hired you simply because he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, but you have certainly done your part to make sure that he doesn’t regret it. you’re a very fine worker - which makes it all the worse that every time he sees you, his thoughts are not of praising you for a perfectly mixed death after noon or asking how the sales of his non-alcoholic mixes are going, but instead taking you up to the room he keeps in the angel’s share for nights he stays in town and simply fucking you on the shabby little bed until you’re mindless and drooling and panting with pleasure. nights when he does need to stay in that room and you are the barstaff working are the worst - for, with you so close, how can he not indulge in a little fantasy as he wraps his fist about his shaft and imagines your sweet voice caressing the title of ‘master diluc’? 
zhongli has, for most of his existence, had his pick of lovers to take - but times have changed, and he is now an ordinary mortal, and more than that . . . he is employed, and it would be most unbecoming of him to sour his working relationship with the wangsheng funeral parlour by admitting to his desire for hu tao’s assistant. it is not merely that you talk her down from some of her wilder ideas, but that you are well-measured and intelligent and terribly polite to him, as well as very, very pleasant to look at. the sound of your voice shaping ‘mr zhongli’, the little bow of your head, the soft, shy smile you give him . . . ah, zhongli is not used to not being able to simply have what he wants. but work is sacrosanct. even an unwritten contract - one such as ‘interpersonal relationships at work are frowned upon’ - remains a contract, and so he has no choice but to spend his nights lazily stroking himself, imagining you in various states of undress, your wide-eyed surprise at undoing his trousers and finding two cocks of more-than-impressive size, the realisation in your eyes when you discovered the man who wishes you to service him is a former deity who he has heard you profess devotion and admiration for several times. he can only hope that one day, you will grow tired of hu tao, and that little unspoken contract can be broken so you are his for the taking.  
kazuha is too polite for his own good. it doesn’t matter that he knows you like him; it doesn’t matter if he can sense the imperceptible warming of air when you catch sight of him and smile, that he notices the way that you seek him out and almost hears your heart beat faster when he is in the vicinity. you’re lovely (whilst you’re worthy of poetry that waxes lyrical about your beauty, his poetry about you is surely not worthy enough). and so, he cannot help but think you deserve more than being weighed down by him. he wants to be free just as much as you do, and even if he spends his nights sleeping on grass beneath the stars by your side (and trying not to wake you as he guiltily slips a hand between his thighs and attunes himself to your soft breathing, imagining how it would hitch if he were, for example, to slip between your own thighs and use his mouth on you until your hands tugged at his hair and you came sweetly and beautifully for him), he wants to be entirely sure that such freedom is always available for you. that, he thinks, is what really loving somebody means. 
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