justahermitcrab

[justahermitcrab]

yeah it sucked getting bullied in middle school but nothing hurts worse then creating a tik tok account and the algorithm figuring out my demographic is depressed bitch in ten seconds flat

#shitpost #tik tok #tiktok #depression #i don't know how to tag can u tell #funny #i suppose #as long as ur standards are low enough

[justahermitcrab]

if you think that you’re going insane in quarantine just know that last night at 2am i was milly rocking so aggressively to hozier that i spilled bubblegum mouthwash all over my pants and my first thought was to make a post about it on tumblr 

#shitpost #corona virus #quarentine #just quarantine things #corona virüsü #covid19 #hozier #music #the hoziest #funny #again only slightly #don't have too high expectations #coronamemes #mouthwash

[justahermitcrab]

bro get the fuck out of here with your “broth.” what the fuck even is that? bro seriously stop calling my ramen juice “broth.”

#shipost #ramen #funny #kind of #if u squint

[justahermitcrab]

i can’t believe that DONALD TRUMP, the stinky little racist bunker pissboy of shithole america, got to meet exo before i did. i’m going to fucking sCREAM

#CAN U HEAR MY GENUINE RAGE???? #don't get me wrong i'm american #but i refuse to subscribe to arbitrary nationalistic ideals which are simply propaganda used to force compliance out of the general public #patriotism is corrupt and that's the tea #also EXO??? #i'm going to cry #kpop #music #exo #exo-l #kai #i had to he's my bias #sehun #throw him in there too #liberal #donald trump #republican #lmao i end up on alt right tumblr #yknow what might fuck around and go #superm #sm #sm entertainment

[justahermitcrab]

i always quit out of spotify on my phone before jaywalking because i’m terrified that a car will run me over and my mom will check my phone to see that baby one more time by britney spears is the last song i was listening to and engrave it on my gravestone 

#on a unrelated note #why is her name spelled like that?? #wouldn't it be brittany? #or am i just literally going insane? #meme #shipost #britney spears #music #mid 200s pop music #can u tell that i don't know how to tag this?? #just shitposting about my future demise #and my #anixiety #lmao that works #anxiety memes

[justahermitcrab]

i was scrolling through the nyan cat wikipedia, as one does, and i found out that as of March 2019 nyan cat has been bought by an anti-capitalist streaming service. literally what the fuck am i supposed to do with the knowledge that nyan cat is communist now???

#shit post #internet lore #nyan cat #nyan nyan #cat memes #cats #Cats of the internet #cursed cats #memes #history #history memes #the people need to know

[justahermitcrab]

crackhead thoughts i’ve had during AP euro masterlist

political legitimacy and total sovereignty are stored in the balls

Paracelsus be like “is it just me or did i just rid this small german town of the plague by feeding all of them their own shit????”

ok i swear i was actually going to finish this but then corona virus happened and my motivation DIPPED so i’m left with this

#ap euro #collegeboard #AP History #ap classes #history #history memes #AP European History #funny #yes i'm that bitch #corona #Conronavirus #COVID19 #ap exams #paracelsus #mostly just surprised that's a tag #shitpost #quarentine #pandemic #social distancing #studying #history jokes #meme

[justahermitcrab]

me googling "lee felix freckles": self care

#just quarantine mental breakdown content luv #stray kids #skz #lee felix #felix #felix lee #music #kpop #shitpost #felix stray kids #stay #changlix

[justahermitcrab]

my honest aspiration in life is to become as iconic as Zhou Rui

first he joins an idol survival show and spends the entire first half looking like a sewer rat before the stylists curl his hair and everyone realizes he’s actually super hot. then he makes his dramatic fairy boy transformation literally making multiple of the other guys on the show fall in love with him?? and then he gets voted off but instead of crying he does the most iconic self-promo ever and then later in an interview says he only joined the show for the money. and we can’t forget in the very same interview he says he wants a sugar daddy and drops his actual email so that sugar daddies can contact him. now he’s out here during quarantine teaching kids how to do calculous and shit over live bc he’s actually a super smart engineering student. i have no choice but to stan???

#a little bit of propoganda for my followers uwu #that was disgusting i'm never tagging anything again #anyway this is a callout post for myself #bc i can't stop listening to i'll never #OK actual tags now #zhou rui #idol producer #idolproducernet #周锐 #偶像练习生 #cpop #i'm sorry but also have u seen the bathroom video?? #nine percent #unine #qin fen #li quanzhe #zhu zhengting #had 2 tag the fanboys #shitpost #rant

[justahermitcrab]

when i say “not all men” i mean Rick Riordan specifically. sir if ur reading this pls become my grandfather.

#percy jackson is coming to disney plus!!! #i'm so excited you can't even imagine #this shit was my CHILDHOOD #percy jackson #rick riordan #pjo #disney #disney+ #annabeth chase #hoo #disney plus #percy jackson live action

[justahermitcrab]

i swear to god if i see one more post talking about how “quarantine isn’t any different from my daily routine haha” i’m going to flip like yes i know you’re introverted i found your blog on the drarry tag

#am i even going to put bs tags on a post about our global pandemic? #hell yeah i am!!! #drarry #coronamemes #conronavirus #covid19 #quarentine #harry potter #shitpost #funny #draco malfoy

[justahermitcrab]

some of y’all haven’t seen 161206 kino and it shows

#pentagon #kino #kang kingo #hyunggu #kang hyunggu #kino pentagon #ptg #pentagon maker #kpop #kpop memes

[justahermitcrab]

i can’t believe i summed up an entire 513,000 word fanfic with a 20 word textpost this has been my highest achievement 

fanfiction from the mid 2000s: well i’m completely straight but darn if i don’t have sexual fantasies about this one specific guy

#throam #the heart rate of a mouse #panic! at the disco #ryden #patd #p!atd #brendon urie #ryan ross #yes i really did tag this all things p!atd bc i'm proud #emo #emo music #throw those in too why not #fanfiction #archive of our own #ao3 #ao3 memes #fandom #shipping #otp #funny #writing #fanfic

[justahermitcrab]

every enemy to lovers fanfic on ao3

main character: i hate this character with all of my being. i would thrown down with them no questions asked. i hope their bones disintegrate. i hope they step on a lego piece. i never thought murder was an option. and then i met them.

main character, 1 (one) chapter later: ok BUT i could also just lovingly gaze into their eyes and maybe share a tender kiss????

#you know the drill girls!! i'm tagging this for every ship i've seen it in #jikook #taekook #ineffable husbands #klance #reddie #phan #stucky #stony #destiel #drarry #ironstrange #spideypool #ferard #yoonmin #wolfstar #reylo #harringrove #vmin #johnlock #shipping #fanfiction #archive of our own #ao3 #ao3 memes #fandom #netflix #shitpost #funny #writing

[justahermitcrab]

confession time: once i fully stopped reading a fanfiction because the soundtrack had September by Earth, Wind & Fire on it

#fanfiction #archive of our own #ao3 #songfic #yes it was #ao3 memes #fanfiction memes #fandom #fanfic #shitpost #text post #comedy #funny #shipping #wattpad #livejournal #fanfiction.net #yknow i could be a dickface #and tag a whole bunch of ships that this fic COULD have been in #is it worth it for the notes? #yeah i'm a dick let's do it #klance #Ineffable Husbands #jikook #phan #taekook #stucky #reylo #stony #Destiel

[justahermitcrab]

if i got to throw down with one historical figure no questions asked it would definitely be john calvin. the little bitchboy of organized religion. 

#ap euro #ap european history #ap euro memes #history #ap history #history memes #ap classes #shitpost #text post #john calvin #catholiscism #organized religion #european history #wow i can't believe i've tagged a post Catholicism before #good news guys #i now post exclusively callout posts from the protestant reformation

[justahermitcrab]

double texting is a social construct send me a five paragraph analytical essay with a full intro, conclusion, and embedded quotations cited in MLA format

#writing #literature #essays #reading #dark academia #light academia #lol #my tags are such bullshit how do yall put up with me #i WISH i was dark academia #text post #shitpost #MLA and Chicago are the only #valid way to cite quotations #literally fight me #i will throw down rn