#Easier and more confidential too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luveline · 1 year

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𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 | 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫

You worry your boyfriend is ashamed of you. This is very much not the case. Or, 5 times Hotch hid your relationship (+1 time he didn’t).

7k words, new-ish established relationship, lots of fluff between angst, hurt/comfort, fem!reader, civilian!reader, reader calls him aaron mostly

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The security for Aaron's building is weird. Weird as in extensive, intimidating, and extremely intricate.

You'd really wanted to minimise his stress — the whole reason you're here is to bring him a forgotten sheet of paper that must've slipped out at your kitchen table from one of his case files because you don't want him to have to make up a new copy — but you're too scared to go in.

You pull your phone out reluctantly and dial in his number, eager to hear his voice even if the security detail a few feet away are freaking you out.

"Hotchner."

"Hi, handsome," you say softly.

There's a small pause. For a split-second a nightmare situation runs through your head, his low voice asking, Who is this?

"Hi, honey."

You beam so wide it aches, forcing a pleased little breath from your mouth.

"What do you need?" he asks.

"I'm outside of your building but I'm too afraid to come in. I'm not sure they'll let me. I need a badge, right?"

"You're outside."

You pick at the hem of your sweater, a loose thread marring your otherwise pretty outfit. You'll admit to dressing up unnecessarily to see him. Nice clothes, your most subtle perfume.

"I found something confidential this morning, a piece of paper. I didn't read it, I promise."

"You really shouldn't be here," he says.

Your smile abruptly drops. You press the phone closer to your face and wait, hoping he's not talking to you. When it's clear that he is you cringe, the silence pervasive and the most awkward it's ever been with him.

"Sorry." Your apology is quick, quiet. "I thought it would be easier for you. I didn't mean to… overstep."

"It's not that. It's busy. Would you hang on to it for me? Maybe I can come and get it tonight, bring dinner."

You love how he says it. It's not a question, not an assumption. And it's a relief. If he wants to see you on a night where you hadn't planned to get together, he can't be mad at you for being here.

"Yeah, please. If you want to."

"I want to. Okay?"

Not for confirmation, it's shorthand. You okay?

"Yeah. Okay. Have a good rest of your day, handsome."

"Bye."

You like to think you can hear the sound of his phone clicking shut, imagining him at his desk in one of his neat suits with a case file open in front of him. You're not sure on the specifics of his job but you know he looks good doing it, and you also know he's very, very busy. You don't take his clipped goodbye as anything but efficiency.

Maybe you should.

—

The next time Aaron inadvertently hurts your feelings is in person.

Compared to him, you wouldn't say you're an incredibly exciting character. Your day job is tame, your hobbies are invaried. You like to watch TV, see movies, you enjoy people-watching. When you hold that stuff up to his job, his profiling, and his hobbies (seriously, who likes triathlon?) you feel rather immature.

You know deep down that hobbies are hobbies and that your job doesn't define how special you are, but when you're with someone like Aaron who lives and breathes his profession it can play with your head.

"Is there something interesting about my shirt?" he asks, a murmur under the sound of the TV.

You look up from the hem of his nice button down and smile, a half-smile. You want it to be more genuine than it is. "Don't you already know?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can tell I'm…" You frown, dropping the starched material of his shirt from between your fingers. "I've given myself up, haven't I?"

"A little," he concedes sympathetically.

You huff your defeat and let your cheek fall into his chest. Nice to seek comfort from him, nicer for him to give it to you, his arm rising from behind your shoulders to hook around your neck.

"I'm not profiling you," he says, voice close to the top of your head, "I'm wondering what you're thinking."

You relax under his touch, his big hand settling in the curve of your neck. A semi-hug. It doesn't take long for you to melt into his front completely, your unhappy thoughts dissolving with any tension and leaving only a want to kiss his stupidly nice neck.

"It doesn't matter," you say.

"You sure?"

You lift your head from his chest. He has to lean back to meet your eyes and he does it unflinchingly, a bemused smile playing on his lips.

"I'm good. Better, if you would…"

"Yeah?" he asks quietly, leaning down, down.

You can't withstand his charms. He knows exactly how to get you, his smile and his eyes, his lashes kissing in the corners as they close.

He's imposing in the best way, a heavy presence that overwhelms you. All you can think about is the way he nudges his nose with yours to encourage your head back and the heat of his lips as they touch your own. His arm tightens behind your head.

You try to rise onto your knees, hands vying for his neck and his pitch dark hair. You're doubly pleased when you feel his mouth turning up into a smile, a mirror of your own.

"Slow down," he chides gently.

You're about to say something unlike yourself, something loud and brash. Speed up, Hotchner. You're hopped up on the giddiness that comes with being close to him. You're just about to say it when his phone rings.

He gives you a short, hard kiss.

"Hotchner."

You sit back in his lap, his hand sliding to the small of your back to keep you close as his face clouds with confusion. You attempt to climb off of him because you're not a sack of sugar — you're probably giving him numb thighs — but he won't let you.

"Garcia," he says eventually, "is this an emergency?" His tone makes it clear to you that whatever it is Garcia is saying, it's far from an emergency.

His hand climbs up, over your shoulder. You shudder as he tugs your earlobe, a mild and thoughtless gesture. You're so busy shivering you almost miss his playful eye roll.

"I haven't changed my mind. Yeah. Thanks for the invitation, but I'm perfectly happy where I am tonight."

Whatever Garcia says makes him laugh. If you weren't sitting as close to him as you are you wouldn't have heard it.

"Have fun. Bye," he says succinctly. He snaps his phone closed in one hand, the other dropping from your ear to your shoulder. It's heavy with a remorse you can't allow. "Sorry."

"Doesn't matter," you assure, tilting your head toward his hand and pretending to size him up. You don't know how to profile, but you're a good guess.

"You're not telling me something."

"No?" He blinks in surprise.

"No. You've been invited somewhere with your work friends, and you usually go. Why not tonight?"

"I think that's obvious."

"You don't have to flake on your friends for me, Aaron."

He smiles as you say his name. "Like I told Garcia, I am perfectly happy where I am."

You hide your face in his neck lest he see your doped up smile. "You have nice friends," you murmur, working your hands under the hem of his shirt.

"I think you'd love Garcia after the infinitial terror."

"I think I would too. She's good to you, after all. Makes me like her… Maybe one day we can all go out for drinks."

You don't have to be a profiler to feel the way he tenses.

"Yeah," he says. It sounds very much like Probably not.

That's a strumming hurt. Aaron is so nice, so so nice, and he treats you like you're gold dust. He does all the movie boyfriend stuff like flowers, silver earrings on your birthday (with tiny diamonds!), dinner reservations at dauntingly fancy restaurants. And he does stuff you didn't know men did, like calling you near every night to make sure you had a good day, and praising even your smallest achievements, and leaving notes in places he knows you'll find them on hard days. You don't know how he knows when days are hard, he just does.

You'd figured all of this stuff meant he must really like you, might even love you though he's yet to say it, and that's why his lack of enthusiasm stings.

Why doesn't he want you to meet his friends? He's obviously very proud of what they do at the BAU. They're not the issue.

It's you.

You cuddle him as a pit forms in your chest.

"You're tired?" he asks.

Funny how it's his comfort you crave when he's the one who's hurt your feelings. You're a little lopsided being upset with him, and you know if you tell him how you feel he'll try to make it up to you, but you're too afraid of the other alternative — a fight. Right now his arms are a sanctity you wouldn't trade for anything. You hope he feels the same.

You're not sure anymore.

"Yeah," you say roughly.

Your eyes burn as he pats your back. "Let's go to bed, honey."

You'll just… have to prove you're someone worth showing off.

—

Your plan, loosely titled 'Get Aaron Hotchner to Show Me Off,' is going about as well as you'd thought it would.

If Aaron doesn't want me to meet his friends there must be a reason. You've been thinking about it and it can't be a coincidence that he hadn't wanted you to return his paperwork a few weeks ago. That must've been something significant.

But what?

You start with your hair. Aaron has expressed a lovely and heaping handful of times that he thinks you have pretty hair. He plays with it often, usually when he's limp and tired from a long day. You've always taken care of it. Now you're going to the extreme — hair masks, hair appointments you can't afford, anything to make it look perfect.

It doesn't work toward the plan, though your boyfriend certainly notices.

"Your hair," is the very first thing he says when he sees you, stopping only in his smiling assessment to kiss your cheek in greeting.

"Is it okay?" you ask, turning your face to one side.

"More than okay. Do you want to go in?"

So it's kind of a bust. But that's okay, you weren't expecting to get a haircut and magically be invited to team dinners. You persevere, and eventually you forget the plan for the night when Aaron promises to show you how much he likes your new look with a hand at the small of your back.

Phase two, your clothes.

You dress as nicely as you can but you're no fashion guru and you can't afford an entirely new wardrobe. You get a bunch of magazines and look for fall staples. What's in this year, and how do you style it? You buy a couple of pieces that fit your budget and try to work around them.

Aaron's favourite are the new corduroy pants. They aren't a great fit.

"They're too tight," you lament, pulling the fabric from your thighs where they hug snugly. They're a desaturated sort of burgundy, not bright by any means but a good 'pop of colour'.

"I know," he says.

You gawp at him, and when he gets his fingers on the buttons afterward, you break.

"You like them?" you ask worriedly.

"What makes you think I don't?"

"Besides how eager you are to get them off of me?"

He hooks two fingers in your belt loops and holds your gaze as he tugs them down. "I like them."

A good time, but still no dice. You suppose a new look, besides looking smarter, doesn't actually prove your merit as a girlfriend. Maybe he wants something a little more concrete before he introduces you to people. Maybe things aren't as good for him as they are for you, and he doesn't see the point.

That particular thought sparks a wave of panicked tears.

The next time you see him, it's like he can tell. You wonder if he has x-ray vision, some sixth sense for tear stains that he has yet to tell you about. He's been gone for a few days in St. Louis, and when he'd come back he'd spent the weekend with Jack, so it's a whole seven days since the last time you saw him and your worries have festered. Not even his doting phone calls had kept the thought at bay.

Maybe I'm not a good girlfriend.

You open your door and there he is in a quarter zip with an overnight bag, matte suit cover draped over one arm.

"Hi," you say, unsure.

"Did I get uglier while I was away?" he asks seriously.

You startle. "No, of course not."

He smiles and meets you in the doorway, your head dipping back to accommodate. "I think I've had it too good," he says lightly, bringing a tentative hand to your cheek. "Are you okay?"

You're trying to work out what he means, and when you do your heart skips. "Handsome!" you say urgently. "Hi, handsome. No, you didn't get uglier, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, and-"

He kisses you. It's malaligned because of your parted lips, but it's good. You'd really missed him.

"You're definitely still handsome," you murmur.

"Doesn't count. I begged for it-"

"No!" you deny, lifting on tiptoes to give him another kiss and stop his slander. "It does count because you're always handsome, I promise. I think I slept too much and miswired my brain when I woke up."

"I don't mind that you didn't call me handsome," he says firmly, "now let me in. We have dinner to make."

"Right, sorry."

Aaron frowns at you, then. It's weird. He frowns at his phone, at the TV, at nothing, but he doesn't frown at you.

"Is something wrong?" he asks as you traverse down the hall. You hold your hands out for his suit and bag to take to your room and hang up, ignoring his question. He doesn't give them to you. "Is there?"

"No." You smile as you say it.

You're an awful liar, especially with him. He makes you more nervous than anyone because he's your boyfriend and because he's a literal human lie detector.

"You didn't even try."

You cover your face with both hands and groan dramatically, spinning around and away from him. You don't want him to see how flustered you are.

"Don't make fun," you beg.

"You're embarrassed."

"Teach you that at the Bureau, do they?"

You stop in the doorway of the kitchen, distracted by your own racing thoughts when suddenly there are two long arms needling around your waist and pulling you backward. You gasp a laugh and squirm uselessly to escape.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

You tip your head back, hands falling from your face in surprise. "What for, handsome?"

His laugh fans out over your face but when he speaks again there's no humour there, only sincerity, "For being gone so long."

"Well don't be. You can't exactly help it, Agent Hotchner," you hum.

"Oh, don't."

"Going out and saving the world takes time. I knew that when I met you, 'n I know it now. You don't have to say sorry."

"I'm not apologising for my work. I'm apologising that we've," — his nose presses into the highest point of your cheek — "been apart."

"I did miss you," you relent.

He presses his lips to your cheek. "I missed you too."

It's a nice distraction. You'd missed one another, and now you're together. You forget for a while what you'd worried, and only when he leaves again do you remember.

Maybe I'm not a good girlfriend.

You're not stupid enough to think Hotch is using you for anything, or that he's insincere. You're level-headed, though. His affection for you isn't necessarily permanent no matter how genuine.

You don't want to be overbearing. The offers start slow.

I can wash that for you. Of course I'm sure, I'm great with whites.

Maybe I could make you lunch tomorrow. You can take it in, spare yourself the federal cafeteria.

Yeah, I got them shined for you. They were looking a little dull at the toes.

"Do you want me to press these?" you ask.

Aaron looks up from where he's sitting in bed. You'd been out on a foray to the bathroom and have come to a stop by his bedroom door where a pair of black slacks hang in wait for the morning.

He pushes a darling pair of reading glasses up the bridge of his nose. "No."

"Are you sure? It won't take five minutes."

"I'll do it in the morning."

"I can do it for you, then. Just wake me up," you say, pushing back the sheets on the empty side of his bed. Your socked foot bumps his thigh as you pull up your legs. "What are you reading?"

He puts his book on the nightstand, takes off his glasses. It's too bad. He really suits them.

"I want to talk to you about something."

You laugh and slide down onto the flat of your back.

"What?" he asks, confused, the tiniest hint of amusement in his eyes.

"It's unlike you to start that way. You always cut around the fat." You bring his bed sheets up to your nose and squint at him. "'M I in trouble?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"You know I care about you."

Your heart somersaults. That feels very much like a break-up opener, and he must see your anxiety on your face. He wrangles your hand from under the sheets and leans over you, his face in your eyeline, his fingers massaging yours until they ache in the good way.

"Do you know how much?" he asks.

"Is that a trick?"

"No."

You wait in case there's something he's going to add. When there's nothing, you pull the sheets to your chin and tamp down your perplexed pouting.

"Yeah, I know how much."

"I'd like to tell you how much." He pulls your joined hands toward his jaw. "I know I'm not always here, but I'm always thinking of you. In roundabout ways."

"What ways?" you ask. Self-indulgence.

Aaron Hotchner indulges you.

"I see," — he kisses your hand — "trees. I've seen a thousand trees, but when I see the bigger ones I wish you could see them too."

It's a dropping sensation, near uncomfortable, that's how gutted his confession makes you feel. "You do?"

"Sometimes women walk past me and I swear that it's you because they smell like your perfume. Flowers growing through cracks in the sidewalk. Lights through the jet window." It's the kind of stuff you like to point out to him when you're together.

He stares at you, a long, reassuring look.

He deserves a better reply, but all you can say is, "I think of you all the time, too."

"I love that you want to take care of me, but you don't need to wear yourself out."

You bite the inside of your bottom lip. So that's what this is about. Aaron has profiled you, and now he's being the gentleman that he is and assuaging your fears.

"I'm not," you say quickly.

He understands that you're saying I'm not wearing myself out rather than I'm not taking care of you. You are taking care of him, the best that you can, the best that he'll allow.

"I can press my own pants," he says, leaning down for a kiss. "I can shine my own shoes." He kisses you again. You screw your eyes closed as the warmth of his breath heats your cupid's bow. "I can do my own laundry." He pulls back, dropping your hand in favour of your neck. His thumb pushes against your windpipe gently, palm hot over your skin. "I'll accept the lunches, if you're sure you don't mind making them."

You feel as excited as you did the very first time he touched you, chest full of a dizzying pleasure, heart bump-bump-bumping a racing rhythm. His thumb strokes a lazy quarter circle into your neck. He can probably feel your pulse, see the way your eyes have blown.

"I love making them," you say, breathless in earnest.

"The team think I'm spoiled."

"You aren't spoiled." You're adored, you want to say. You cup his cheek instead. "You'd be spoiled if I brought them by everyday."

Aaron doesn't stay with you and you don't stay with him enough to make him lunch everyday. He might get one or two a week, and that's when he's home.

"Wouldn't that be nice," he mutters, his fingers pushing between your neck and the pillow underneath.

You hike up on to your elbows slowly to avoid headbutting him. "Well, I could."

His easy, loving smile flattens. "No."

"I wouldn't mind. My lunch break is super long and it only takes me ten minutes to get there. We could have lunch together."

"That's not going to work."

"Okay." You wish you could take it as calmly as he says it. You sound choked up. You are choked up.

"Sweetheart, the office is a war zone. Half the time I'm not there."

"I get it," you say, dropping flat onto your back again.

"Sweetheart."

"Handsome," you mirror, putting on your best unaffected smile.

You can't hold it very long, his concerned brows too much to deal with. You turn your head to the left and turn off the lamp on the nightstand, throwing at least half of your expression into darkness.

Aaron doesn't give up. Does he ever? He cups your cheek and pulls you back to face him.

"I can't promise any lunch dates. But I was thinking we'd go out for dinner next week, Friday," he begins hopefully, "somewhere nice."

It feels like an apology and you're desperate to take it.

"I don't need somewhere nice, s'long as you're there 'n not in Kansas, or Colorado, or Idaho, or New Jersey-"

He hums and drops his head until his nose lies against your own. "Gonna go through all fifty?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Hotchner?"

"I love your voice," he says agreeably.

Disarmed, you let him charm you, and you let him push it all out of your mind. Plan foiled, your fears fall on the backburner for a third time.

—

His fourth rejection is the first that feels entirely intentional, though you won't know until later.

Mostly because Aaron pushes you.

Far from cruel, the two of you are actually out walking in the city when he forces you into an alleyway, your fancy drink sloshing down the front of your sweater.

You laugh in surprise and almost roll your ankle, hands clinging to his coat to stop an unfortunate fall.

"Holy shit, Hotchner, learn to be a gentleman," you say as he presses up against you. "What are you doing? I'm soaked, you're gonna ruin your sleeves."

He kisses you hard. It's a surprise, your head jumping back against the wall to find his hand already there to protect it.

It's worth noting that Aaron is a sweetheart in practically every aspect of life. He once apologised after having walked in on you changing, which is ridiculous because most of the nights where you're together he insists on getting you some sort of undressed (even if it's just to help you into your pyjamas).

Needless to say, he's never kissed you like this. Your emotions spike so suddenly you laugh into his mouth, a girlish peel of giggles that you'll regret afterward but can't stop for the life of you.

He shushes you. "Sorry," he whispers, as ill-composed as you've ever heard him. "Sorry, just-" He cuts you both off with another bruising kiss.

Your laughter fades into sighs and little gasps for air. Somewhere near the alleyway opening a group of people pass by, a jovial series of cheers and friendly laughter trailing behind them. Aaron presses you further into the wall behind, and slowly, slowly winds down. Weirdly, you think his last couple of pecks feel sorry, softer and sweeter.

Your lips buzz.

"Why'd you buy me that fancy drink if you were gonna tip it all over me?" you ask good-naturedly when he finally pulls back.

"You looked too nice today." His deadpan voice wars with the smile on his face. "I'm sorry. We'll go find you something to change into."

"Was it really that important that you kiss me right then?" you ask, feigning disdain.

He looks out toward the main street again. "Yes. Where do you want to go? There's a Nordstrom."

You take a sip of your drink, unsurprised when he takes your hand and starts to lead you toward the department stores. "Have you ever been inside of a Nordstrom?"

"I'm sure I'll figure it out."

—

The fifth time is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Or the brick. It feels heavier than a strand of straw. It's technically already come to pass, so it's an invisible brick.

You're out for coffee by yourself which really means you're out for something sweet, bundled up in a coat and scarf to fight the night-time chill.

"Thank you," you tell the barista, accepting your drink and receipt with a smile.

You turn around and almost walk straight into a pretty dark-haired woman with really nice hair. You make a note to tell Aaron about it when you see him next, not because he'll care but because he likes to hear what you've been thinking about. And right now, all you can think about is her feathered bangs.

I want nice bangs, you think offhandedly.

"I'm sorry," you say, trying to move around her.

She steps into your path.

"Sorry," you say again.

She's squinting at you, thin eyebrows peeking out from behind her hair. "Sorry, have we met?" she asks.

You try not to be too hasty, but you're not sure you've ever seen her. You stare at her as she stares at you, and you get a tiny inkling of familiarity, but it's gone as quick as it comes.

"I'm really sorry, I don't think so," you murmur, tilting your head to one side.

She bites her lip, let's it go. "Oh!" she says excitedly, voice bright with triumph. "Oh oh oh! I know who you are, you're Hotch's mysterious girlfriend!"

Your smile turns quizzical. You know nearly everybody calls Aaron 'Hotch'. Whenever you try it he either gives you the silent treatment or covers your mouth with his hand.

"I'm Emily Prentiss, I work in the BAU," she explains rapidly, shoving her purse under her hand to offer it for a handshake.

You do the same and shake her hand. Introducing yourself feels awkward. She knows you. You don't have a clue who she is. Only-

"Oh, I know who you are now, I'm sorry I didn't recognise you before!" you say contritely. "I've seen photos of you and the team together. It's really nice to meet you."

She nods. "It's nice to meet you too. I have to say, we've been dying to meet you. We even have a betting pool on what you're like, because Hotch barely says a thing about you."

You try not to look as devastated as you feel, re-wrapping your fingers around your cup. "No?"

"We didn't even know what you looked like until we saw you the other day. We came looking to say hi and you'd disappeared."

You lick your dry lips. "The other day?"

"Yeah, last Friday. We were out for impromptu drinks, celebrating a case. You know, you should come with sometime. It would be fun."

Emily talks each word with an undertone of good humour. She's stunning, bubbly, and her hair flows around her face with every movement.

"He really doesn't talk about me?"

Emily drops into girl code niceties, backtracking. "I mean, not too often. We catch him smiling at his phone and hear your voice sometimes when you call. He seems happy. Well, happy as Hotch can seem." She swallows. "He's a private creature."

He doesn't talk about me.

You pretend to check your watch.

"It was really good to meet you," you say, voice airy with a feigned nonchalance.

"Yeah, of course. Super nice," Emily says.

You smile at her. It's more like a grimace. By the time you're outside of the coffee shop you're too upset to care, a humiliated shock of tears brewing behind your achy eyes.

You hold your cup to your chest and unzip your purse to tuck the receipt inside, trying to maintain some control. There's a folded note inside, thick cardstock quartered.

You take it out. Your fingers tremble with offended adrenaline.

You're beautiful.

Short, sweet, extremely Aaron Hotchner. Too bad you can't believe it.

Emily Prentiss being out and about means the BAU are done for the night, though whether your workaholic boyfriend got the memo is anyone's best guess. You're not sure if it's better or worse if he's in work when you call. You're so upset that you can't help yourself.

"Hi, honey."

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?" you ask, staving off tears with all your willpower.

"I wouldn't write it if I didn't mean it. That one took you a while to find, I was-"

"Are you sure?"

"...Are you okay?"

You glare up at the dark sky rather than answer, blinking hard to force down your tears. You really don't wanna cry, but it's been a bad day and meeting Emily has made it worse. No matter how hard you try to think otherwise, all signs point to Aaron being ashamed of you. Embarrassed to be with you. He's hiding your relationship from everybody.

"Am I- Is it my clothes? My job?"

"What's wrong with your clothes?"

"You tell me, detective."

You're getting angry. He's- he's lying, or he's messing with you. He's making fun of you. At least that's how it feels.

"Where are you right now?" he asks. You can picture him shrugging on his suit jacket, putting his files in order to come and meet you.

You don't want to see him. "I'm at the coffee shop by your apartment. I actually ran into somebody, and I'm feeling very well-informed." A first tear bumps down your cheek. You ignore it.

"I don't understand."

"I don't understand! What am I doing wrong?" You bite your tongue in last ditch efforts to remain intact, but the tears won't hold off any longer. You swallow a sob. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. Nothing, honey, nothing is wrong with you."

You wipe your wet face with mean hands.

"Stay where you are. I'll come and meet you."

"No. I don't wanna see you."

"Honey-"

"Leave me alone, Aaron."

You hang up. You walk for a while, feeling as though steam is rising off of your flushed skin with every clumsy step. It had been a short phone call and already you can't remember what you said, all you can feel is angry, and then that runs out and all you can do is cry.

You've never felt incredibly attractive. Aaron makes you feel better than that — he has the uncanny ability to inspire self-confidence with a loaded look alone. He can smile at you and your skin feels like it's glowing.

So why doesn't that translate? If he thinks you're so pretty, why does he insist on hiding you away?

Because that day, he'd seen his friends. He could've introduced you but he took you down the alley and kissed you so you wouldn't be seen. That's not too busy: That's secretive.

That kiss. You fooled yourself into thinking you must've looked irresistible. Fuck. You went home that night thinking you were the best thing since sliced bread.

"I'm so stupid," you mutter, sniffling.

Your self deprecation is muffled by the sound of a slowing car. You don't look up. There are two possibilities for who it is, and you don't want to deal with either.

The car parks and then you do look up. Despite how mad you are you're not suicidal, and Aaron's given you extensive coaching on sex trafficking.

It's him. Shocker.

You're half-expecting him to reprimand you. You didn't look up until I parked. You know it takes five seconds to snatch and incapacitate someone?

He looks haphazardly put together. Suit jacket on but tie loosened, he rounds the hood of his car and joins you on the sidewalk. You don't want to play games with him. He really doesn't need it, he didn't sign up for it, and drama isn't your style, but you're sick of this.

"You want to tell me what you're thinking?" he asks, standing an amicable two feet away, hands at his hips.

"I'm really mad."

"What else?"

"I'm thinking," you say, looking down at your cold hands, "that you… That you're…" You rub your cheek into your shoulder to hide a fresh tear. "I don't know, Aaron. I'm thinking lots of things."

"Do you want to think about them in the car?" he asks.

Do you want to talk about it?

You don't want to talk about it. You don't like crying in front of him on a good day.

You're pretty sure he'll combust on the spot if he knows you're walking home alone in the dark and distracted.

You get in the car. He has the good sense not to touch your shoulders like he normally would.

You buckle as soon as you've closed the passenger side door. "I'm sorry," you mumble, looking down at your knees.

"Let's forget that, for now." He turns the key but doesn't pull out. "Tell me what's upset you and I'll explain."

"I met Emily Prentiss."

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye.

"She told me that you don't talk about me. Ever. That they didn't even know what I looked like."

You know he's listening but he keeps his eyes on the road, and you chance a look at the side of his face. He doesn't seem mad.

"I don't talk about you often," he says. "But that doesn't mean never… It's true that they didn't know what you look like."

"Until last week, when they saw us together and you pulled me into an alley so they couldn't see me."

"Yes."

Your lower lip trembles. "Do you see why that would upset me?" You're asking genuinely.

"Yeah, honey."

Your head jolts up. He's diverting his gaze from the road to you intermittently, offering up a regretful grimace. The oncoming headlights splash over his work worn face.

"Then why are you doing this? What's so wrong with me that you won't even admit we're together?"

"Nothing is wrong with you. I'm not ashamed of you," he says firmly, volume rising.

"Then why?"

His eyebrows pull together. "You're the best person I've ever met that isn't my son, and I selfishly don't want to share you yet. I also don't want to scare you off."

You pull your sleeves over your hands and turn in your seat, wiping your damp cheeks as he continues.

"My job is hard, and it's dangerous. It has jeopardised the safety and wellbeing of people I love before. So no, I'm not eager to introduce you to my world. The more intertwined with my life that you become, the more danger I put you in, and…" The car slows down again. He turns to look at you. "And I like that I'm the only one who knows you like this.

"I have been hiding you. I have. But it was a," — his tone turns wry — "misguided attempt at keeping you all to myself. Safe, and to myself."

You're finding it difficult to be mad with him.

He's finding it difficult to maintain his poker face. A fat tear rolls down your cheek and you're not sure what it's made of, fatigue or relief or plain hurt, whatever it is he doesn't like it. He pulls over.

You hold still as he pinches the tear off of your chin.

"How long have you felt like this?"

"Like what?" you ask wetly.

"Like this." He opens his hand against your cheek. It encompasses your face; you lean in, hungry for reassurance.

"I don't know."

"This is why you changed your hair. Your clothes. And started making my lunch."

You cover his hand with your own. "I actually really like making your lunches."

You stare at each other until suddenly you're laughing, sniffly, short of breath. Aaron joins in soon after. He always sounds so surprised to be laughing.

"I'm glad," he says when your laughter has abated, pinky and ring finger caressing down the slope of your cheek. "I really like having them. Rossi can't hide how jealous he is."

"They know about the lunches?"

His mindless petting pauses. "They know about the lunches. You're not a secret. I'm… selfish with the details. I'm selfish." Aaron takes back his hand. "I'm sorry."

You take as deep a breath as you can. "Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Mm. Can we go home?"

His eyebrows jump and swiftly smooth again. "Yeah, we can go home." He chucks your chin and gets the car moving again.

You watch him drive.

When you get home, he doesn't mind reassuring you some more. Actually, it's like he needs to do it. You'd love to say that it's overkill and that his low murmurings of praise are unnecessary, but you can't.

"You're lovely," he says seriously across two plates of pasta. Again through the mirror when you're brushing your teeth, and again when you've curled into his chest for the night. You're lovely. Nothing that needs hiding.

You hear him on the phone early in the morning, half asleep.

"Hey, Dave. Yeah. Okay. Uh… No, that's fine." He laughs under his breath. "Yeah, if she was awake I'd ask her to make you one. I think she would… Okay. See you in forty."

You bury your tired face into his pillows and beam.

—

Aaron's office is terrifyingly hectic. You can see already that the bullpen is full to bursting with agents, including but not limited to his special team of profilers. There's the distinct smell of coffee, sharp and burning, and then the underlay of printer ink, new paper.

You can't believe you're here.

You're not brave enough to introduce yourself to his team, and half aren't at their desks anyways. You hover in the doorway until somebody needs to get past you, taking a reluctant step inside.

You shouldn't wait for Aaron. You should be brave. You're a grown up, and you're bringing your grown up partner his very grown up lunch. You'd wanted desperately to do this. The least that you can do is do it by yourself.

You've scrapped most of the fall staples but kept the burgundy pants Aaron likes so much at his request. They feel insanely tight on your thighs, as does your collar. In fact, the room has definitely shrunk since you got here.

Like an idiot, Aaron says your name loud and clear, standing with a hand on the railings at the top of the instep. You hadn't even noticed him emerging from his office.

His voice demands — commands — attention. People turn in their seats, first toward him, and then toward you.

All eyes on me.

You don't run but you don't walk either, weaving through desk chairs and people looking a mix of busy and curious.

"You're being cruel," you say as you approach him, a brown paper bag held close to your abdomen.

"Hi, honey," he says. He wears a knowing smile, all dark and tall and handsome as he starts down the stairs to meet you.

"Don't punish me."

"Is that what you'd call this?" he asks, hand quick to clasp your shoulder, glueing you in place so he can kiss your forehead.

And yes, this is what you'd wanted. The doting boyfriend not just at home but at work, too.

That doesn't mean it isn't really, really embarrassing.

"Is everyone looking at me?" you murmur.

He slips his arm behind your shoulders to walk you up the stairs. "Yes." His voice drops lower. "At one place specifically, I imagine."

"What part is that, Agent?"

He laughs and opens his office door to beckon you inside. "Don't start."

༺༻

my first hotch fic omg. i did a big character study beforehand but i doubt it's entirely in character, hotch is a difficult character to write for! (and im only at season 4). but this was so fun and he's hot so it's worth it. if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging! i promise it makes a difference to me (and also i love seeing what people thought). thank you for reading!! ♥

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sp0o0kylights · 8 months

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You know what I want to see, I want to see more of Steve, Eddie, and Robin being 1980s small town kids from Indiana, by which I mean;

Robin is The Source of Gay Knowledge purely because her parents host Hippie Christmas and she managed to sneak away to find a neat bookstore in Indiana once.

Her knowledge is not in depth. It's patchy, woven together through rumors, stories she heard or things she picked up from her parents' old pictures. She's got a handful of zines, one book, and some movies she managed to order for Family Video behind Keith's back.

She acts like she's Queen of the Queers because in Hawkins she pretty much is.

(Max and El ask her what a lavender marriage is once, something they overheard snooping around.

Robin confidentially answers that it's code for when one woman dresses up as a man, fooling officials into wedding two woman.

She does not live this down two years later when they find out what it actually means.)

Eddie doesn't spend every weekend in Indianapolis.

Gas is expensive, his busiest days of his "job" is Friday and Saturday, and he has no fucking clue what the hanky code is.

He's wearing that bandana because Metallica front singer James Hetfield has one on all their tour posters.

Eddie does make it down to a gay bar though, by accident. Rick needed some back up for a shady deal. Promised Eddie a boatload of free drugs to sell if he agreed to just stand there and look mean.

He was warned the bar they were meeting in was 'weird' and to not 'freak out' --which Eddie thought was hilarious given his nickname and general appearance, but whatever.

He doesn't understand when they get there, because it's just a bunch of hot men with hanky's in their back pockets everywhere.

Then he sees two women kissing and it clicks.

He can't out himself in front of Rick, but one of the bartenders playfully dresses him down for his own hanky, letting him know all about the code and teasing him through his embarrassment.

He's got an offer to come back and learn what color and which pocket his hanky should actually be in, a prospect Eddie was salivating at until Chrissy Cunningham up and died on his ceiling.

(He still wore the hanky, because the feeling of that bartender tugging it out and stuffing it back in might be the closest thing he's ever had to sex and he absolutely wants a repeat.

He's young and horny, sue him.)

Steve Harrington may not be academically smart but he's not dumb.

He figured out a while back that the basketball team as a unit probably crossed the queer line more than once--or at least it did before Hargrove came in.

( Brad Handly for example, went around slamming kids into lockers and screaming slurs like a fucking movie villain one Monday because the varsity team got dead drunk at Laura's party on Sunday and hey, look, there weren't that many girls there, okay?

They all had fucking hands and mouths. Everybody but Tommy was single and hot to trot. Nothing gay about it.

Its not even like they were kissing or treating each other like chicks. It was just Brad's first time and they got to tease him later for overthinking it.

Dude graduated soon enough after and given Steve was on the team as a sophomore, he hadn't thought about the guy and why he might be freaking out so bad in years.)

Robin's entire panic attack at Starcourt, and a few more after had Steve replaying that whole incident. Reframed it a bit, and, yeah.

In retrospect that had been extremely gay, actually.

It sat with him a lot easier than he'd thought it would. Partially because of Robin, but mostly because that's just who he was.

Stranger things had happened to Steve and this one didn't want to kill, maim or otherwise eat him, so it got filed under 'interesting facts he should never tell his parents if he wanted to keep his trust fund' and then he went about his day.

(Or he tried too, anyways.

It caught up to him when Eddie and Robin somehow figured out the other was queer and dragged him along to some bar Eddie had a standing invitation at, with demands for Steve to do what he did best.

Babysit.

Their magical trip was utterly destroyed when Brad Handly happened to be the very same bartender who had given Eddie the invite.

Considering Brad's immediate bark of laughter followed by a hug and introducing himself as "Steve's gay awakening", Steve ended up having to speedrun through Eddie and Robin both having a crisis for him.

It didn't help that Steve had politely, and laughingly, corrected Brad with a casual;

"Pretty sure that was Tommy man, but if it helps I think that tongue of yours gave Matt Burdon a crisis."

--which ended up with him answering a lot more gay sex questions with Brad than he cared too.

At least he, through Brad, was able to help Robin connect to some local lesbians and--after a second crisis from Eddie regarding how Steve managed to have more sex than "the resident town freak and guy who actually knew he was gay, Steve!"-- even helped Eddie out by catching the metalheads tongue with his mouth later that evening.

The last one landed him a boyfriend, trust fund be damned.)

#this started as thought and ended as a mini fic #filing this under shit I'm not expanding on #steddie #platonic stobin #its the “Eddie and Robin drag Steve to a Gay Bar” trope but with a twist #the twist is that Steve skipped his gay crisis entirely #and also that basketball team is not straight #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #I just want to re-invoke that pre internet feeling of "No one has an easy way to google whether or not their friend is right #so it comes down to who sounds right LOL #or whose known for what

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fawnindawn · 11 days

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the line between thieves and healers (Luke Castellan x apollo fem! reader)

Summary: Luke Castellan returns from his quest as a ghost of his old self with a bleeding scar to prove it. With his golden boy exterior all but shattered, no one in camp has tried to approach him since his return. This changes when you stumble upon the son of Hermes when he decides to go back to his old roots, stealing from your infirmary at midnight.

pairing: luke castellan x apollo fem! reader

Content: forced proximity, tending to wounds, luke develops a little crush, set after Luke's failed quest in the Garden of Hesperides, mentions of injuries and scars, Luke tries and fails at being mean, hurt-comfort, fluff

masterlist for this series (everything in between) every part in this series can be read as a stand alone!

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"Come on." One of the campers prodded despite your obvious discomfort. "I'm sure you've squeezed something out of Castellan by now. He's been silent about what happened during his quest for days."

"I told you, I don't know anything, and even if I did, patient confidentiality exists." You repeated for the ninth time in a week. Ever since people found out Luke had come personally to you to tend to his wounds, they had lost all decency over the hope of digging for some good gossip. If you were asked one more time, you were sure you would tell them to stick their noses right back up their asses and leave.

Even after his return, Luke Castellan remained a constant in word of mouth around camp over his sudden change in persona. His usual grin and charm was replaced with a dark gloom unfitting for the son of Hermes, who used to light up any room he entered. The scar that permanently rests on his face didn't make it easier for him to avoid watching eyes either. After refusing to play in Capture the Flag for the first time in history, whatever patience the camp was trying to uphold dissipated into chaos.

Sure, you could see why it was a big deal. If you're a person with a sane enough mind (of course, not guaranteed in the premises of Camp Half-Blood), you’d understand why the fellow camp counsellor of the Hermes Cabin was popular. With his constant presence around camp as the cool, attractive camp counsellor helping other campers with that small quirk up his lips, or through word of mouth of how talented and kind he was, it wasn't a huge surprise that he attracted as much attention as he did.

Once the ninth camper in a row finally gave up and left with a huff, your eyes lingered over the bed where you first tended to Luke.

It was the dead of night when you were woken by the sound of creaking wooden floorboards and the cold chill of the wind that had somehow been brought into the infirmary. Somehow, you had overslept again on your shift and no one had bothered to wake you up or even check for your missing presence in your cabin.

Groaning at the awkward shift of your bones from your horrible sleeping posture on the desk, you were halfway through your stretch to crack your stiff neck when you heard the sound of footsteps. Freezing in place, you paused to listen in once more only to heard the soft thud once again. Peering to the left side of the infirmary, your heart stopped.

"Hey, listen." You spoke with that awkward crack in your voice whenever you go too long without speaking, causing the large shadow to flinch, pausing in its pursuit through your medicine cabinet. "I may not seem like it, but I am the best in combat in my cabin so whoever you are, step away from the cabinet and put your hands up."

Gee, that's convincing, you sound like an unnamed extra from the first few minutes of a horror movie before they ended up six feet under. Cursing yourself internally, you watched the shadow raise to full height from it's bent position. Gulping at the height that seemed to be at least six feet, you wonder if you should have just left this cabinet thief be and go to sleep for the night.

Why would anyone even want to ransack an infirmary at midnight?

You quickly grabbed for your oil lamp situated beside you, still flickering with the smallest of flames and you stood from your chair, causing it to creak back and scratch at the wooden floors as you made your way around the table to approach the thief.

The light was dim, but you spotted the familiar outline of a broad back and curls before he even fully turned.

"Castellan?" You gasped in half-asleep shock, disbelief obvious in your tone as you moved the oil lamp nearer to prove your eyesight wasn't playing tricks on you.

He didn't respond verbally to the call of his name, but when he turned around, his eyes narrowed on you as if you were the intruder. You barely had the chance to form words, questions- before you spotted the dripping crimson liquid near his eye.

"Oh gods." You muttered, grabbing at his arm and tugging him towards the nearest bed. "Why didn't you wake me up? It's not like you could wrap this up yourself."

With some struggle, he finally gave in, plopping down the edge of the bed and watched you scour through the medicine cabinet for bandages and other supplies, muted and stiff.

"I seriously don't understand why you didn't wake me up. Would you rather bleed to death or get an infection?" You scolded, your inner concern bleeding through your usual sense of politeness for injured visitors.

"Maybe." You thought you heard him mumble, but when you turned to look at him, he was facing the window right beside the bed and staring out into the shadows of the forest, the glow of the moonlight illuminating his features like a haunted painting, blood dripping down his cheekbones like fallen tears. You waited longer for an elaboration but there was none. You assumed you heard wrong, or at least you hoped you did.

You got off your knees, splaying out the supplies on the surface of the bed beside him, and pulled up a stool for you to sit at. He was still facing away from you, and your irritation combined with your lack of sleep made you more reckless than you'd usually be with an injured patient.

You gripped at his chin, forcing him to look at you, watching with satisfaction as his eyes widened at the sudden force. He looked more alive when he was caught off guard, his face devoid of the usual disinterest and distance it had ever since he arrived back from his quest.

"How do you expect me to treat you if you keep looking away from me, Castellan?" You challenged, gazing back into his eyes with fire you hoped was fierce enough to break down the coldness in his gaze.

After seconds of nothing but two stubbornheads trying to win a useless battle of eye contact, he sighed. "..Fine."

You were more gentle after that, letting go of his chin and reaching for the cloth. Your hands remained delicate on his skin that seemed to have pulled at the edge of the scar, where it was now bleeding again through its previous stitches. You mumbled a warning before dapping a wet handkerchief on top of the wound to soak in the blood, and he unintentionally grabbed at your thigh as he tried not to hiss out in pain.

You froze at the sudden tight grip, moving the cloth away from his skin and he was quick to retract his hand, positioning it awkwardly on top of the bedsheets instead.

"It's okay if you grab me." You reassured. "It'd be easier for me to gauge if you need me to stop when it gets too painful. You could give me a squeeze if you need a breather?"

You waited, watching his thoughts flicker through his narrowed eyes before slowly, his hand went to rest around your thigh again.

Ignoring the warmth of his palm on your skin, you cleared your throat. "Ready?"

He nodded stiffly, and you went back to work. After the cut had stopped bleeding, you were quick to grab the gauze and bandages. Tenderly, you placed the gauze above his wound, then wrapped the bandages around his face, from the top of his head to below his chin. This was the closest you had ever been to him, and you could feel and hear both his and your breathing in the quiet silence of the infirmary, with no living signs of life aside from the two of you on the infirmary bed and the dim orange hue of the oil lamp.

You could feel his intense gaze on you from his one good eye, while you concentrated on tying a secure knot so it wouldn't fall loose. The moment felt oddly intimate, knowing how sensitive his temper had been ever since he arrived back at camp, scarred in ways not even ambrosia could heal fully.

His hand resting around your thigh felt hot, and you tried to ignore how it your mind subconsciously kept track of every time his thumb would brush over the material of your pants.

"Next time.." You hinted, hopefully not crossing his boundaries. "If this happens again, you come straight here, got it? I don't care if I'm sleeping or attending someone else. You are not allowed to take care of a wound like this yourself, especially since I remember how reckless you can be."

Luke Castellan may be an excellent swordsman, but his cockiness was one weakness that he failed to keep controlled, and on days where it won over, he would always end up at the infirmary with a bashful smile as he tried to explain to you on how he ended up with a dislocated shoulder. That felt like eons ago, when that cheeky smile would always be present on his face, his signature move in getting away with any chaos he caused.

Staring at him now, you caught sight of that smile for such a split second you could've sworn you mistook it.

You couldn't stop the teasing smile that slipped past your stern attitude. "Was that a smile I saw, Castellan?"

He cleared his throat, his face falling back into practiced nonchalance, wearing a frown too forced to be real. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I may be sleep-deprived because a certain someone decided midnight was the best time to ransack an infirmary, but I'm not blind. For making me work overtime, I at least deserve to know what you found so amusing."

He made a face, and you were sure if his face wasn't tightly bandaged, he would roll his eyes in exasperation. "I wasn't amused. Just don't remember you being this.. unhospitable with someone that's injured. And I am not reckless."

You scoffed, causing him to look over at you. "I'd say trying to steal from an infirmary is pretty reckless. I thought Hermes kids were supposed to be good in stealing?"

You realised all too late that you may have touched on a sensitive topic, with the mention of his father, but he didn't seem to notice over the frank insult of being called a bad thief.

"I am excellent in stealing." He bit back so quickly, you choked on a snort. Hermes kids and their egos. "I was just going easy on you because you were knocked out at your desk. Oh, and you snore, you know that?"

"I do not."

"Do too."

"You're a liar and a thief. Don't get why your reputation is as marvelled upon as it is, Castellan. You don't live up to the hype at all."

"Oh, and what about you, Miss Sunshine?" He retorted. "Aren't you suppose to be the famous sweetheart who sings all injuries away with a smile on your face?"

"Don't call me that ever again." You must have looked extremely repulsed because he let out a laugh so genuine, it wiped any disgust off your face at the sound of pure heaven flooding into your ears. God, you forgot he could laugh like that.

"Yeah, I suppose it doesn't suit you, does it?" He murmured. "Maybe Apollo kids are only nice when others are around to see it."

"You've only come back meaner, Castellan." You scoffed. "I almost regret helping you. Would much rather see you stumble over trying to deal with this yourself if I knew you'd be so ungrateful."

"Sounds righteous of you." He nodded with a sarcastic hum. "Leaving me to bleed out to death while you watch. I understand why the camp has such high stakes when it comes to survival now. Never knew there was a sadist hiding in you, sunshine."

"I told you not to call me that." You reminded. "And I'm doing the best I can to keep everyone here alive so don't come to my infirmary talking about stakes when I've just saved your ass from blood loss."

Your response triggered something in him and he grew silent, his gaze locked on you as if analyzing you. That was when you're really reminded of how awful you must've looked. With your bed hair, sunken-in dark circles and sunken shoulders from the lack of sleep, you did not exactly feel the most confident. You didn't know what happened to make the casual atmosphere disappear as fast as it did, but you were anxious that somehow, you had shut him up again and you'd never get the chance to see him that way again, with his playful banter and light-heartedness of a teenage boy that he should have.

"You shouldn't have to." He muttered, almost to himself rather than to you. A seriousness unlike the previous few quips he'd thrown at you took ahold of him, and you had a feeling this was a slither of who he had really become through his rapid transformation, hidden under the jokes and sarcasm.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have to." He repeated a little louder, trying to get you to see his point. A point he'd been trying to tell Chiron, his friends even- ever since he came back here, only to be meet with pitying looks like he was a madman who spoke nonsense to try and make sense of his failure. "Lives should not be your responsibility. You're younger than me, and yet, you're dealing with kids that are near death's door every time they make it past that barrier. I barely made it back here. Some don't even.."

Luke tried to breathe, remembering how he got to camp in the first place. The unnecessary sacrifice that had to be made, the tree that now rests at the barrier of camp, the sound of thunder and pouring rain beating at his face.

"Now, I'm stuck with this disgusting scar of my face for the rest of my life, a stupid reminder every single time I look at myself, that I failed my only chance at proving I was something more than just wasted potential. Now I've gone and screwed it up for everyone because I couldn't do some easy quest someone else already accomplished-" He winced suddenly, grabbing onto the bandaged part of his face that seemed to grow more irritated and inflamed as he spoke.

You were quick to reach for his hand, knowing his aggression may harm the wound more. "It is not disgusting." You answered for him, and slowly, your hand rested over his, removing it from his face so he wouldn't accidentally cause the wound to start bleeding again. "You are not a failure, Luke."

"Don't take pity on me by saying words you don't mean." He muttered. "Everyone expected me to succeed, I could feel it in their gaze when they looked at me. I was supposed to be the best, and just because everyone told me that, I believed it. Now, I'm nothing but a disappointment to everyone."

He didn't know why he was saying all this to you. Maybe because you were the only person to treat him normally in the past two weeks, to really listen instead of trying to get him to move on, and maybe because his heart felt like it was growing too heavy to carry on his own. The insecurity and vulnerability made him feel sick, and he found himself trying to tear his hands away from you out of the need to run, which only made him feel more disgusted with himself. Like a coward, his mind taunted.

You remained stubborn, holding onto his cold palms because you know he has had no warmth, no real genuine words spoken to him since he returned. No one to see him when it was clear he was suffering, that he needed all the time in the world and more to heal, and that he deserved more than self-loathing and an absent father who sentenced him to this fate.

"I am not pitying you." You insisted, and you leaned closer so he couldn't look away from you. "Your scar does not make you ugly or less valuable to anyone. It is not pity, it is a fact. You are a person who has survived a fate so close to death, and any feat to survive death is strength. You are strong, and you made it back here alive with a scar to prove it. It is not a sign of weakness."

"Anyone who tells you different has no right or say in your situation because they did not go through what you did." You said with a stern voice, your anger not towards him, but for him. "Not your father, not anyone."

Luke finally looked at you, like looked. His eyes were scanning all over your face as if not quite believing you were real, but the fire in your eyes was so magnetic, he couldn't look away. The pinch between your brows, the addictive warmth of your hands in his, and the close distance between the two of you, and yet, it didn't make his skin itch with the need to pull away. To hide in his corner and wallow over the heavy weight of knowing his world had ended in the Garden of the Hesperides. Or had it?

Your eyes looked right through him, and for once, he felt like there was someone there for him.

"I suppose I can see where your reputation comes from now, sunshine." He responded weakly, and his heart gave a thump when you smiled back at him.

"Healing's what I understand best." You shrugged casually, as if you didn't just silence his thoughts for a moment of peace, or that you have somehow dulled the internal blades that bled with self-hatred and world-consuming anger pointed at himself, and at the injustice of the gods who could not give a damn about their children. “If I can help you even a little, why shouldn’t I?”

He could feel time ticking again in the back of his mind, the night slowly passing into a new one, and he thinks as he holds your gaze, that maybe this world wouldn't be so painful to live in if he had someone to look at him the way you did.

"I don't know how I'm going to go back to normal. Or if I'll ever be normal again." He admitted, softer in his voice now that his mind didn't deem you as a threat.

"Normal can be lots of things." You said with a comforting smile. "It's normal to have a breakdown when you've nearly faced death. Multiple even. It's normal to feel fine one moment then not in the next. Healing isn't linear, and when you come to terms that you have a right to feel upset and a right to exist without being held to any expectations of others or what you think others want from you, it'll feel easier to just allow yourself to exist throughout the day. Not the perfect camp counsellor or a hero with no faults. Just as yourself."

He let your words sink in, his thumbs subconsciously rubbing over your knuckles, feeling the healed scars of your own from what he assumed must be from previous combat training. "I'm not that great as myself. You might find me disappointing."

You quirked your lips at that, and shook your head. "I don't believe in that one bit. You're already great just as you are now."

He raised a brow. "Even after trying to steal from your infirmary and having a mental breakdown past curfew?"

"Well, just be glad I was around because I'm much more understanding than Will would be with four hours of sleep."

"I am glad." He insisted. "That it's you."

"I'm glad it was me too." You reassured. "It is midnight though and there's Capture the Flag tomorrow, meaning someone's going to end up whining and moping in here in about eight hours so why don't you let me close shop and come by tomorrow, Castellan?"

"Luke." He corrected, giving you a smile you're sure must be the one the other campers rave about all the time. The charming one that made your heart stutter, even with half his face bandaged and eyebags resting below his caramel eyes.

"Luke." You tested it on your tongue tentatively, and it only seemed to spark an electricity between the two of you that you were sure he must've felt too. In the dark corner of the infirmary, with nothing but crickets and your hushed voice, you spoke again with a heavy heart when you needed to tell him to leave. "I have to close this place up or someone else might try and steal from the medicine cabinet, not that I thought it was possible before but.."

"Fine." He complied, getting off the bed and rising to his full height, towering over you and blocking the moonlight from your view. "I'll wait outside and walk you back to your cabin. It's the least I could do."

You tried not to seem too elated over the idea that you could spend a little more time with Luke, though you're sure your glowing smile must've shown. "Sure you're not just trying to improve your image around me, thief?"

He smirked, following you out to the front door while you wrestled for the keys in your pocket to lock up for the night. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What are you smiling about?"

You looked up from your daze to see Luke leaning over the door frame, watching you with a smirk over his face.

"Can't a girl smile just for the sake of it?" You bit back, cheeks flushing at the idea that he could've possibly seen your focus lingering a little too long on the bed he had sat on. "Why'd you drop out of Capture the Flag? You know your cabin's going to lose their streak to Ares at this point."

"Wanted to see someone." He replied with a shrug, pushing off the door frame to walk towards where you sat, leaning over your desk and watching you compile the latest stock of ambrosia into a box. "Plus, Athena and Hermes are joining for today so Annabeth's got it handled."

He shuffled his fingers along the edge of the table, outlining the curve before clearing his throat. "I heard you covering up for me just now, and I wanted to say thank you."

You looked up at him then, and his eyes seemed to convey that he was thanking you for more than just that. He looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t know how to.

"Eavesdropping on me now?” You teased. “Careful or you might end up becoming obsessed with a poor, overworked healer."

He scoffed exaggeratedly. "You wish. Just take the thank you. Should've known not to show my gratitude to an Apollo kid."

You stuck your tongue out at him before going on about how mind-blowing it can be that some kids really did not have emotional intelligence when it came to basic decency. Listening to you ramble on as you went on to arrange your first aid kits, Luke realised for all the disappointment he has experienced in his life, maybe there was one good thing his father led him to.

a/n: Couldn't resist writing how this duo met because I live and die for banter. inspired by 'my reputation's never been worse so you must like me for me' trope which is what i live and breathe for. His reputation as the perfect golden boy is in shambles, and sunshine couldn't care less.

taglist: @stars4birdie @elysiandumbash @kehlanislefttoe @mqg125 @madzlovez @0revna0 @auroraofthesun1 @idli-dosa @buubsii @kaylasficrecs @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @itsdragonius @moonlightfoxs-cantina

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan x apollo!reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x fem!reader #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan fic #luke castellan x y/n

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jamespottersdaisy · 8 months

Text

Dulcet

Peter Parker x fem!reader

in which peter parker messes with your head

a/n: added oscorp for the sake of the plot

You got a hundred from the calculus midterm, but Peter Parker was not present to brag.

The nerve that boy has.

Spiderman is limping, and he’s injured, too. Again. And to think that you were a civilian with a sprained ankle.

“You weren’t hobbling yesterday,” You open the window to him, stepping back to make room.

He gives you a much-forced thumbs-up before tossing himself to the carpet. His suit is ruined, fortunately for you with only one big gash on his bicep. You can be a tailor if he keeps this up.

As he catches his breath, you�� already knowing what you have to do– amble towards the suture kit. You hear him curse and groan by the corner of your room. You weren’t expecting him, but you are not surprised, either. “Don’t stain the carpet!”

“Come on, trouble, you’re better than that,” he calls with a hoarse tone.

No, you are not.

Bringing the kit along, you pad back to your room.

“What happened?” you pout at him, at which he waves his uninjured hand off. His wound is similar to the one that you attended yesterday. “It’s just a gash, stop acting like you’re about to die.”

“Cut me some slack,” he says, this time less dramatically.

You sit beside him on the floor to work on his bicep. “It was the same thing as yesterday wasn’t it?”

You are not sure what to call it. Monster sounds too childish, but the body of an animal doesn’t leave much for choosing.

After his silence, you avert your eyes up to him. “I thought you said it was handled?”

You hear a sigh from him under the spandex. His words echo around the room as your fingers work on the wound.

“It’s complicated. I can’t just kill him.”

“Yeah, but…”

You notice that you have actually never thought about how Spiderman handles the bad guys. Surely he catches the criminals, but creatures like yesterday? You have absolutely no idea on that matter.

“How do you handle it then?”

He shrugs. “Try to find a cure? I don’t know, if there’s a problem there’s also a solution. Usually, I just need to look for it deep enough.”

“What if there is no cure?”

He doesn’t reply, and you feel cold shivers down your spine. Indeed, from afar, in the warm comfort of one’s bed, the thought of murder doesn’t cross the mind. Why would it? You are neither the murderer nor the dead. Just a regular person who wants the monsters gone, and Peter Parker to not get a hundred from a midterm.

You don’t like the chill silence. “Were you looking for a cure today?”

His dry chuckle surprises you when you complete the stitches. “Kind of. From the former experiences, I figured Oscorp would be a nice start.”

He’s not wrong. You applied for an internship at Oscorp merely because of the company’s reputation and got a positive reply. Thus, starting in two days, you will be getting acquainted with the building's interior.

“What did you find?”

“Nothing. I couldn’t even make it there.”

You’ve never thought that you can help him. Surely, if you manage to get lost and perchance find yourself in a room surrounded by confidential information and materials that can help to create a cure, it would be great help. You can’t do it yourself, but that doesn’t mean Spiderman can’t.

“I will be there the day after tomorrow, I’m sure I can–” You start only to get cut off by the guy before you.

“Absolutely not,” he shakes his head. “You are not getting involved in this.”

You narrow your eyes at him, and he stares at you, which looks funnier than usual because of his big white eyes.

“It would be easier for me not to get noticed–”

“As it would be more dangerous,” he gets up by holding onto the walls around him. “You just do you. Don’t try to play hero, trouble.”

“I have you for that,” you mumble as he walks around your room.

Little does he know you are utterly resolute to sneak around. Not a very vulnerable civilian of you.

“Exactly. Let me handle this,” he nods at you before limping towards your bed. “You should direct your exertions towards nagging that Peter guy.”

“I would very much like to, if only his ridiculous face showed up–hey, hey, don’t–” ‘Lay on the bed,’ you wanted to yell but it was too late. He was already spread on the clean sheets of your comfort space. “SPIDER!”

“Ridiculous?”

“I washed them this morning, jackass!”

“You didn’t tell me his face was ridiculous.”

Groaning loudly, you throw your head back.

“It’s not! Can you please get the fuck out of my bed–”

“Then what’s wrong with his face?”

“Nothing is wrong with his face, it’s disgustingly perfect!” You jump to your feet and dash towards the red-bodied male and drag him by his leg. “Get up!”

“You don’t like his face because it’s perfect?” he cackles, watching you struggle to toss him away.

“Yes, exactly,” when you do haul him to the floor, he’s laughing more heartily than you’ve ever heard anyone laugh before.

“You should tell that to him. He’d be flattered.”

“The only thing I’m gonna tell him when I see him is my three-digit grade.”

You abandon him on the cold floor while making sure to occupy the whole space in bed so he won’t jump in again. His laugh slowly ebbs, albeit you can still hear the timbre of amusement.

“Three digits?”

“I got a hundred from the exam,” you nod proudly, eyes on the ceiling. “Parker wasn’t around, though.”

“I’m sure he’ll pop up,” he stands up and dusts himself off. You notice he is not limping anymore. At least not that badly. Superpowers.

“Wasn’t worried.”

Spiderman ambles towards your window, hands behind the garment making sure of the safety. You prop yourself up by the elbows.

“You’re leaving?”

“I am,” he nods, tilting his head to you. “Thanks for the help, trouble. Take care.”

You don’t notice that your eyes look for Parker when you’re on campus. You even mistake every tall brunette for Peter as well. It must be the excitement to gloat that’s hammering in your chest.

You flinch when the said boy pops out of thin air beside you. White shirt, blue jeans, so basic and yet still manages to look nice. God really does have favourites.

“Looking for someone?” When his velvety tone reaches your ears, you realize the few days without it was a bit…boring.

Ignoring the smug smirk on his face after pulling out a reaction from you, you wave off your hand. “Tell me the score. Come on.”

“Ninety-five.”

A deep smile graces your lips, immense pride festering under it. Your eyes gleam in smugness and Peter groans. “There we go–”

“I got a hundred.”

He nods as you laugh, lips forming a line. “Of course you did.”

“Meaning I am better than you.”

“I beg to differ–”

“And that should teach you not to mock me.”

“You’re making it really hard not to.”

You glare at him between your words, watching him shrug. He scrunches up his face, “Congratulations? I’d buy you a coffee after the lecture, but I’m a bit busy today.”

“Saving the city?”

You don’t see him stare at you for a moment. “Work at Oscorp.”

Of course, he got an internship too. What annoys you is not the fact that you will see him again after the lessons, it is the fact that whatever happens, it is always a tie with him.

You are not aware that the former even excites you a bit.

“You weren’t around the other day.”

It’s his turn to smirk. You roll your eyes and get in the class with the door he held open. “You missed me, huh?”

“Yes, it was too peaceful.”

That’s not exactly a lie, but you are glad it sounds like one.

“I’ll make sure you don’t feel that peaceful ever again, don’t worry,” Peter shakes his head before strolling to his seat.

You know he will walk the talk.

“Does paranoia come with the job?”

“Trouble,” he warns, which doesn’t work because the nickname is entertaining to you.

“No, Spider, I haven’t been snooping around in the hopes of finding a cure for your monster.”

You definitely have. You almost got caught by Parker yesterday, but played it off as losing your way.

Spiderman doesn't believe you, rightfully so. He's swung in to 'kill the time' for a while. Right now, he's leaning on a wall that has posters of your favourite artist on it, glaring at you through the white eyes. You sometimes wonder what colour of orbs are behind them.

“My spidey senses are tingling.”

Shutting the book before you, you slide on the chair so your body can face him. “I unplugged the iron, they shouldn’t.”

“They’re sensing a lie," he tilts his head.

“I’m sure that’s not how it works.”

“You wouldn’t know, you’re not the one possessing it.”

“You told me how they work."

"Which was a mistake on my part," he murmurs. "Listen, I don't need your help, alright? I already figured out what I need to do, I just need to find the right formula."

Nonsense, but you nod anyway. "Got it. Now get off my back, will ya?"

He shakes his head, seeing clearly that he won't get anywhere with this. Thus, he decides to change the subject.

"How's the internship going?"

"They made us go through the old files, categorize and digitalise, but it's the first few days and there are a lot of interns," you shrug. "So, good, I guess."

"Us?" he asks and you remember that you've failed to mention Peter's presence there.

"Me and Parker."

"You see him at Oscorp too?"

Unfortunately.

"I see him more than I see anyone else."

Spiderman nods and sits on the floor. You contemplate joining him.

"Shouldn't be that bad if he has a perfect face."

You know what to say to that. His perfect face is the annoying bit, you want to say but decide against it as it will sound…weird.

"Whose side are you on?"

"One hundred per cent yours, trouble," he raises both of his hands.

Spiderman said he just needed the formula. You know it shouldn't be hard to find it, you just need to search thoroughly. Somewhere in those fancy quarters, they must have something useful except old files for you to digitize.

"You're distracted," Peter says and you avert your gaze back to the screen before you.

"Am not," you don't look at him. "Stop staring at me."

"You've been crying for a new task and now when they're about to give us one, you take your sweet time to finish the files.",

This time you glare at him. He's been asking too many questions for your taste today.

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

What are you thinking about?

The last time you've been put to this kind of interrogation was when Spiderman made sure you weren't putting yourself in any danger the other day.

"What's with you today, Parker?" you ask and he raises a brow.

"What's with you?"

"Since when do you worry about me?"

"I'm a good person at heart," he smiles at you, and you grimace in disagreement.

"Sure you are," you rise from your seat, Peter's eyes following you. "I'm going to the bathroom."

You are not. You just have one last room to check for. One that is filled with machines and screens that are hard for you to control. On one of those screens, you know you can find what Spiderman needs.

If only you can slip in and out without getting caught.

You have managed so far, albeit Peter has seen you close to those rooms multiple times. He hasn't ratted you out despite that, but you know it still is not a good image for you.

"Diarrhea, huh?"

You almost laugh, but turn away from him so he doesn't see.

Walking towards the bathroom, you make a turn when you leave Peter's eyesight. Passing multiple similar white gates, you count in your head to find the right one.

After the seventh, you check around to make sure no one is there. Using the card given to you, you disappear behind the doors.

The light around the place is faint, but enough to see the blue ambience. Five giant screens sitting next to a wall-size machine whose usage is unknown to you.

You can see the camera in the upper corner of the room. Avoiding a glance at it, you attempt an image of unfazed, acting like you are sure of yourself and not after vital– probably secret, too– information.

Ambling towards the keyboard that is certainly connected to the screens, you start roaming through the programs. A bunch of old files that you and Peter digitized for a few weeks, crucial recordings of experiments that can easily seem immoral, data of used chemicals, organs, blood and the name of the donor, as well as the formulas for each process are displayed with each click.

Your fingers slightly tremble in excitement when your eyes pick the formulas.

Remember to act natural.

You tug on the button once, twice, thrice, and beg for more time so you can pick the right one. You are too close, it would all go to waste if you get caught before finding what you're looking for.

Your heart drops to your feet when you hear footsteps behind the door. They are fast and hard and don't leave enough time for you to hide with the speed it's approaching.

You flinch when the door is opened and gasp when it's closed at the same second.

Peter is frowning, dashing towards you

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" His tone is harsh, his face in a scowl.

Your eyes go between him and the door, heart taking a pace. You should be able to distract him enough to find the right formula.

"I'm working," you turn back to the screens, running your eyes in speed.

"Working, my ass," he comes forward, not exactly dragging you but firmly grabbing your bicep. "You're coming with me, let's go."

"Stop this, the camera is working, act natural."

Your name leaves his lips in a hiss, enough for you to know how irritated he is.

"They will barge in any minute, you have to get out of here," he tightens his grip.

Your hands are shaking at this point, mind too dishevelled that you are afraid of failure.

Whatever happens please let it happen after I find the formula, you beg.

"Peter–"

"Look at me–"

"No, I don't have time–"

"Of course, you don't! Please, trou- try to be quick or I'm dragging you away."

"Just a minute."

Footsteps are echoing behind the door, and this time you are sure they won't help you like Peter was trying to do.

He calls your name and you make a sound from deep in your core in desperation but followed by a victorious one immediately.

A shout sinks into the air outside of the room, and you hold your breath in dreading anticipation. Reading the screen one more time you lock eyes with Peter as the hold of the door makes a screeching sound.

Next thing you know Peter is cursing under his nose before crashing his lips onto yours.

He has pulled your body close, and cupped your cheek, deeming it impossible for you to escape his touch.

The five seconds that his soft lips caress yours, your mind goes blank, your heart stops beating and your body forgets how to react as his skin on yours sets your body aflame.

While your soul welcomes the sweet shock deep in your core, the door to the room flings open, and three white-cloaked professors barge in.

Peter lets you go instantly, and not even lending a glance at you, he awkwardly stares back at the uninvited hosts.

"You two can't do that somewhere else?" the woman in between asks as you slowly gain your composure back.

"This is a workplace," the short, blonde man next to her chimes in. "You can get stripped of your internships for this."

The other man, tall and ginger, stays silent with an amused look on his face. "Bloom of youth."

"We are sorry, sir," Peter starts, not sure whom to address. "It won't happen again. Never again."

A few moments of silence drag into forever as Peter takes your hand into his.

It seems as if the stern-faced individuals soften at the gesture, their stone heart deciding to take pity on you.

The woman steps away from the door. "Back to work."

Before Peter drags you away by the hand, you peek at the big screen and see that it's back to normal.

You did it.

The only thing left to do is to give the formula to Spiderman and let him do the rest, which you are sure he will. If only evening came by faster. You can't wait for his reaction when he sees–

"What," Peter spats out through his teeth, "Were you thinking?!"

You notice how he has led you to an uncrowded space, and how he is unusually close to you.

"Thanks for the save?" you ask sheepishly, the reality of the kiss slowly sinking in.

"No, I'm serious. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Peter's visage is…more irritated with you than it usually is. Still, you don't like how he looks attractive with furrowed brows and darkened eyes.

"Look," you chose your words carefully as there is no other escape from this situation without giving him some answers. "I just needed to check something, and that's all I can tell you, Parker."

So much for 'some answers'.

"I'm sorry that you had to get caught in my mess," you tilt your head, pushing your lips together. "And do something undesirable like that to get out of it."

Peter leans back, his eyes narrowing. He doesn't seem furious anymore, just a bit agitated. "You owe me one."

"How about a coffee?"

He shakes his head.

"Oh, come on, you love coffee!"

He does, and both of you are surprised that you remember it.

"Brownie?"

"No."

"Donut?"

"No."

"Pizza?"

"No."

You groan and throw your head back. You don't see Peter's eyes lingering on your lips for a quick second.

"What do you want, Parker?"

His lips curl into a sly smile, one that he gives you when he's about to best you at something.

"Nothing. Yet," he smirks and brings his index finger under your chin, leaning in close enough that you can feel the hot breath on your lips. "You just owe me one."

With a short brush of his thumb on your lower lip, he turns around and walks away.

At least you got the formula.

19:58

20:34

21:27

Where is he?!

21:43

Your blood boils in annoyance that on a day like this, he decides to stay absent.

22:10

A tap on your window makes you jump in your place, a whisper of 'finally' leaving your lips. Letting him in, your eyes look to find any injury and fail. "Where were you?!"

"At home?"

It’s hard to envision him in such an environment.

"I got the formula," you drop the bomb.

Midway to your room, he stops in his tracks, raising his masked head to you. You can feel the confusion but also simmering anger under the white eyes.

"You did what?"

You sprint to your desk, grab the piece of paper and dash back to Spiderman.

He's silent for a minute, reading the ink. "I thought I told you not to snoop around."

"I didn't listen. Will it help?"

"It will but you had no business–"

"You can cure the creature now, right?."

Spiderman sighs. "You could've gotten caught, trouble,” he shakes his head. “If you keep this up, I'll–"

You don't listen to his words, instead cringe at the flashing memory. "I almost did."

You expected a highly ominous reaction, yet got greeted with a calm one. "What do you mean almost?"

You groan and return to your bed. The vigilante sits on the carpet, watching you toss yourself on the mattress. "Parker saved my ass."

You don't like how Spiderman is meek today. You are sure he would've asked you hundreds of questions already.

"How?"

You change your mind; maybe it's more convenient when he doesn't ask questions.

"Trouble?"

Your cheeks heat, embarrassment flooding hot deep in your core. "hekissedme."

"Come again?" he tilts his head.

"He kissed me so they'd think we were sneaking around to find a place to make out."

There you said it.

"Oh," Spiderman nods, scratching his chin with the clothed fingers. "That must've helped."

A small chuckle echoes in your room when you whine and slap your hands to your face.

"Don't laugh. It's your fault."

"No, it's not."

You know it is not. It's just that…when he kissed you, you felt weird.

"Was he that bad of a kisser that you hated it so much?"

"I didn't hate it, Spider, that's the problem!" you admit with a loud tone, slamming your hands beside your body.

He stood there, silent as a rock for a minute. "Explain."

You are not sure how to say it, you're not sure you can voice it. It's too discordant, too far from the reality you built. You long to hear the words, to try the way they roll off your tongue, echo in your ears, to know if it feels innate.

"For a moment, I wanted to kiss him back."

Spiderman doesn't move an inch, neither do you. A prickling chill embraces your heart, shivers messing with your nerves. You don't want the words that left your lips to be true, but you are not regretful that they are.

"I thought you disliked the boy."

You straightened yourself. "I do! He's aggravating and witty and annoying–"

Your shoulders sulkled and Spiderman hummed, letting you continue. "But he is also funny and kind and sometimes attractive."

"Sometimes?"

"I try not to notice his attractiveness all the time," you shrug.

"So, was he a good kisser?"

You glare at him, but when he shifts forward, you have to reply. “How am I supposed to know?”

“His lips were on yours, weren’t they?”

They were. And they were soft, warm, silky, inviting and welcoming.

“For a few seconds.”

Spiderman scoffs. “Enough to mess with your head.”

You don’t like where this conversation is headed. “You should thank me for the formula instead of dismantling my life.”

He glances at the paper again. “Yeah, thanks, trouble, sorry that you had to get kissed by a handsome guy for me.”

He is sitting a few steps away from you, brown locks tousled from the times he has run his hand through them. You dislike the way your eyes steal too many glances at him, but what can you do? He hasn't acknowledged you once yet, let alone brought up what had happened.

"Is there something on my face?"

You don't know how he can sense your gaze every time.

"Pimple. A big and ugly one."

"Wanna pop it?" he raises his eyebrows, locking eyes with you at last.

There's no pimple to pop. In fact, the only blemish on his face is the lack of a smile.

"Do you always go around and ask the girls to pop your pimple?"

"Just the ones I kiss."

Your stomach drops now that he mentioned it, albeit you manage to play it off with an eye roll. “You flatter yourself, that wasn’t a kiss.”

“What was it, then?” Peter gets up from his place and walks up to yours. You look up at him from your seat as he crosses his arms.

“Not a kiss,” you say and he smiles. “You just put your lips onto mine.”

“That wasn’t up to your standards?”

“No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”

This time he actually laughs, even though it sounds like a scoff. “Right.”

When he turns away to return to his initial assigned place, a woman– no, the woman that you almost caught you– strides towards you with stern steps, her heels echoing around the place. Your heart drops and your mouth runs dry, contrasting with the sweat under your armpits.

“You two,” she points between you and Peter. “Follow me.”

You look at Peter with slightly widened eyes and see him frowning. Shame fills you, as well as with sheer panic glistening above it. You put both of you in big trouble.

The woman strides back, and Peter dashes after her, but not before holding and dragging you by the wrist. “Don’t panic.”

Funny, Parker.

Suddenly the distance of five minutes feels like forty minutes, and you are sure Peter can feel the dampness in your palm. The woman’s hair whooshes with her each wide step that you struggle to keep up.

At last, she halts in front of an ivy door and reads her card.

Peter squeezes your hand before you both enter the room. Inside, there are the same two men as yesterday, this time even the ginger professor appearing stern.

“What were you doing in the room yesterday?” the blonde man asks, and you wonder his name.

“Attempting to make out,” Peter talks, his tone calm and determined.

“We have seen the surveillance footage, boy,” this time the ginger guy says angrily. Apparently, he is furious that he let you go so easily.

Your heart is in your mouth, your stomach in your feet. You don’t know what to say to get yourself and Peter out of this mess. There’s an ominous silence, one that stretches your nerves and makes you sick to your stomach.

Even if you confess about Spiderman– which you would never– they wouldn’t believe that story.

“Well?” says the woman behind you, her hands in the pockets of white overcoat.

You take a deep breath. “I–”

“I asked her to look for a formula.”

You push your lips together, staring at Peter, who is glaring at the colleges before you.

“What formula?”

“I didn’t have a specific type, I just wanted a formula that would help me work on the animal DNA, changing and evolving it into something more.”

“Why would you want that?”

They are getting suspicious, not because they don’t believe him, but because they do.

Peter shrugs, and you frown slightly.

“Curiosity.”

They seem to be convinced. For now.

“Listen, kid,” Ginger one sighs. “It’s not a good idea to mess with DNA. It has deadly consequences.”

“If this happens again, we’ll make sure you can never set foot in this building.”

“It won’t happen again,” he assures. They look at you expectantly. You nod quickly.

“Get out of here.”

You happily let Peter lead you out of that environment. After making sure you are out of earshot, he lets your hand go and you notice how your muscles are weak from all the panic.

“Do you always sweat that much?” He wipes his hand on his shirt.

“Thank you.”

Peter’s eyebrows raise at your reverent tone. “You good?”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m sorry that I put you in such a situation.”

“Woah, hey,” he frowns, waving his hands around. “Stop acting so…sorry. It’s weird. Seeing you like this.”

When you don’t say anything, he gets a slight idea of how much you are ashamed and regretful of the events of the last two days.

“You can buy me coffee as compensation tomorrow.”

You smile, and Peter’s shoulders drop in relief. “Deal.”

“See, I told you to stop trying to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

You toss him your pillow, and Spiderman catches it before it becomes one with his masked face. “See the bigger picture, Spider.”

“Which is?”

“Parker stuck out for me. Again!”

“He has the heart of gold,” he sniffs and puts his hand on his chest. “Bless that boy.”

“Are you capable of being serious for a minute?”

“Not a preference,” he tosses the pillow back to you, but you can’t stop it from hitting you right in the nose. “Work on your reflexes.”

“But why would he do that? Why would he accept trouble for me?” You straighten your hair and put the pillow on your lap. Your eyes ask for ideas from the guy sitting on the carpet.

“You are trouble.”

“Spider!”

“What? Do you need me to ask the guy?”

“I just don’t understand. And he hasn’t even asked one single question about what I was doing there.”

You get up and walk around your room.

“Because you told him to?” he says with nonchalance, and you squint your eyes.

“How do you know that?”

“Sounds like something you would do,” he shrugs after ten seconds of silence.

“I don’t know. He’s acting weird.”

“By weird you mean–”

“Kind.”

“Maybe he was kind all this time, you’re just noticing it now.”

You don’t reply for a while, sitting next to the hero. “Don’t–”

“Stain the carpet,” he nods and puts his clothed hand on yours. “Or I’m paying for the cleaning.”

His hand on yours feels weird and funny, but comforting all the same. “How are the wounds?”

“Better. Thanks to you.”

You nod in pride. “I’ll make a fine doctor.”

“That’s a bit far-fetched, trouble.”

“He asked for coffee for compensation,” your eyes rest on your hands.

“Hah, a cheap apology. Lucky.”

“That’s why your romantic life is nonexistent,” you repeat the words he said to you once and realise you said the same thing to Peter as well today.

“Because I’m on a budget?”

“Why is your romantic life nonexistent, Spider?” you ask, meaning the question with your heart.

He shrugs. You avert your gaze to his frame. You wonder what he looks like under the red and blue. Is he bald, or blonde, or brunette? Does he have freckles? Or a mole? Or a nice smile and brown eyes? Or dimples and blue eyes? Maybe he has dark skin or green eyes.

“It becomes dangerous with me at one point, trouble,” he slowly rises to his feet. “It’s either the people or the girl.”

“And you choose the people?”

“Someone has to,” he approaches the window and slowly opens it. “Don’t get in trouble.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Can’t sit on my ass all day and gossip, can I?”

“I don’t like latte.”

“You literally drink nothing but latte.”

“Buy something more expensive.”

You roll your eyes and explore the desserts displayed on the showcase. “How about something sweet with a latte?”

“Brownie. The big one.”

You raise your brows at the barista. “You heard him.”

He nods, readying the orders after you pay. Putting your card back, you hear Peter saying, “Apology accepted.”

“Now,” after the barista hands you the orders, and you find a nice place to sit, you say, “Why did you help me?”

“So you can buy me a latte.”

You glare and he smirks in turn.

“Felt like it at the moment,” he sipped from his drink. “Don’t look that deep, you just stumbled upon my charitable side.”

You don't question him on this matter anymore.

He drinks his coffee as you tease him, and mocks you back when you pronounce a word wrong.

He laughs when you burn your tongue because your drink was too hot, and tells you to put a sugar cube on it. It helps.

He listens to you blabber about the posters on your wall and asks questions about them to understand your fixations deeper.

He talks about Aunt May and how she is the best cook in the whole world with a wide smile on his lips. You notice your glance too many times at his lips. When you say maybe you'll have the chance to taste her cooking, he nods and says you won't ever wish for another meal.

After finishing his brownie, he walks you home, claiming that he is a gentleman. And you may believe him from the way he opens the door for you and sneaks into the road-facing part of the sidewalk.

On the way home he jokes and chuckles, his smile lines never leaving his cheeks. When you arrive he steps back and says "Take care," before saluting you.

You watch him walk away, his hands in his pockets, his curls dancing with the wind and melting into light brown under the dusk sun.

And then it hits you hard and deep in your core.

You’re falling for Peter Parker.

thank you for reading and let me know if you like it <33

tags♡ @taylorann2013 @gorillaglue23 @inkthgoat @pepsicolacoochie @delwrites @dinovickydzillarex

if you like dulcet series, buy me a coffee <3 i'd appreciate it so much

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goldsbitch · 4 months

Text

Right? p4

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

That is until a photoshoot gets out of hand and there is no way to go but forward.

part 1, part 2, part 3

warning: 18+ i guess?

It was a bit tricky to find a safe moment of solitude for the two of you to have your promised photoshoot. But in two days, your plans might finally become true.

What seemed easier, surprisingly, was finding little moments for quick make out sessions. In the driver's room, in the PR office, in that little hallway just next the mechanics gear storage.

You were a bit more careful outside the garage, but could not help one little kiss between the trailers.

It wasn't like Lando was shy at the beginning, but the more you got into the, the cheekier he became. He was so touchy. Grabbing your boobs and ass during make outs, brushing your hand when he walked by you and getting a little too close when discussing his photos.

You must have missed it before, or the frequency of him putting his hand on your shoulders has skyrocketed in the past few days.

You loved how you got to know him more. Learning the secret tricks that worked on your little, minor, definitely not massive, crush.

Zak Brown has requested a general meeting of the whole crew once you all landed in the next location. A tiny part of you suddenly got worried it might concern your little endeavor. Keeping this under the radar was of utmost importance, no matter what Lando said. You hoped you could trust him and his confidentiality. It felt strange to depend on that, but the adrenaline rush was hard to resist. The meeting turned out to be the introduction of a new sponsor and the obligation that this entailed. You had never been more happier for a new sponsor.

-"I might have one request for our photoshoot," was a text from Lando that popped up on your laptop screen. He was sitting on the other side of the room, at the front with all the important folks, while you were in the back right next to your other colleagues making notes. You looked at Lando, who was already watching you. Once your eyes met, he turned to his phone again. Having a feeling this might be one of his inappropriate games, you quickly disabled all notifications on your laptop. Instead you took your phone out, hoping no one was paying any attention to you.

-"Can you move just little to your left?" he continued. You gave him a questioning look and did as he asked.

-"Great, thanks sweetheart."

-"May I ask why, Lando?"

-"It's very closely connected to my request."

"Which would be....?"

"Be as kind to me as you are today" Again, you reacted with another questioning look. Lando took a moment to reply to a question from Zak and only after that quickly took his phone again to elaborate.

"Tight t-shirt with no bra is the peak of kindness in my opinion. Remember this next time I'm sad, I'm sure it'll help."

There is a certain kind of mad, that's not really angry or serious even, but still manages to rile up the blood in ones veins. Lando noticed your disbelief and tried to hide his amusement by pretending to be super interested in what Zak has been saying. For his own sake, he should stick with a driver's career, rather than acting.

In the meantime, to cut his fun short, you gracefully took out your sweater and put it on.

5 seconds later you received a ":(" text from the one and only.

"Sad already, Lando? I recall some cure for that. But probably for a closer inspection."

Lando was biting his cheek while reading it, only to be lightly reminded by Oscar of all people, that Lando's full attention is required to other things than his phone.

You were also pretending to be super interested in the presentation, but in the corner of your eye, you felt the rookie McLaren driver pointing his attention in your direction.

Probably nothing, right?

The change in your mood has been noted by those closest to you. All of a sudden, you were like a lit up candle, shining around every room you walked in. This did not play well with your need to stay as lowkey as possible. Oh and you were dyinggg to speak about this with someone to help you process what the fuck was actually happening. But it was all just pretty delicate. Mentally, you'd settled on the idea that once this is over, it will be a cool and unbelievable story for you and your friends. You did not usually fall for people, but when you did, you fell hard. You were currently overrun by adrenaline and dopamine to make much of a room for any of this to worry you.

Lando seemed to be followed by someone from the team all throughout the week. He was very vocal to you over texts about his impatience and that you both would need to be creative. Lando also wanted to catch the golden hour for your photoshoot. Wanted was an understatement, he was obsessed with it.

So when is the best time to avoid everyone? When they're busy getting ready for a new sponsor welcoming party. It was easy for your to get out of it, it was impossible for Lando to skip it completely - but arriving fashionably late was something he could very much afford. Which gave you an hour or two to have fun.

When the taxi dropped you off over at a location he sent you, he was already there. You agreed that at the moment, him picking you up would be risky. His car here on a random hill near Monte Carlo was suspicious enough. Then again, normal cars seemed to avoid Monaco.

He was leaning over centuries old abandoned wall on a make shift parking spot next to a forest, light shining directly into his face. You were not sure whether he was trying or if it just really came naturally, but when took his sunglasses off to look at you properly, he looked like he was put on this Earth to break hearts, to capture and allure anyone he decided.

So, into the lion's den you went. Nowhere you'd like to be but here.

"Good girl," is what he opened with. Shamelessly looked you up and down and continued: "I like it when you listen to me." Yes. You wore a tight crop top without a bra. And you had zero regrets for using cheap tricks.

"Well, Mr. Photographer. You're the boss. Now it's your turn to tell me what to do." The way how him telling you what to do made you so horny was freaking you out a bit. You were usually the dominant one, right?

"Like the sound of that. Come over there with me and let's see how this light works."

You were 100% sure he wanted to kiss you. Just like you wanted to kiss him. But this cat and mouse vibe was making it all just a bit more exciting. So you immediately went to where he was pointing.

"Taking a girl in the forest, alone. You sure you're not planning anything I should be worried about, am I right?"

"If I recall, you're the one who dragged me to a forest at night. Perhaps it's our thing."

"We'll see."

Lando had a different kind of a photographer personality than you had. With him doing this just for fun, he was super relaxed, chatty and playful. You were more "crazy eyes" "in-the-zone" type of a person when it came to photography. But his approach worked on you. You were actually bit worried coming here, because being on that side of the camera was not your comfortable spot. He managed to get all of this out of the window without even trying. At first he gave you over the top instructions as a joke, suddenly speaking with a horrifyingly bad French accent.

"I'm not doing that, Lando," you laughed out when he requested you run away from him so he could take some blurry back shots.

"Monsignor Norris for you, madame, let's be professionale," he kept his act and looked at you and rolled his eyes. "These young hot girls, they always think they are ze shit. How can I work with these material. My art will suffeour."

You looked at him, trying not to laugh at his theatrical expressions. Apparently, you were now into bad accents jokes. He was getting under your skin in parts you had no idea is possible. "This was maybe more German than French, monsignor Norris."

"Papa must have been German then." He then swiftly moved his camera up, completely taking you by surprise.

"Yes," he abandoned the accent. "The face of a total disbelief suits you the best. I want to see that."

It was fascinating to watch someone walk so gracefully on the line of serious hot and goofy cute. You were doomed.

You sighed loudly. He smiled. You bit your lip and butterflies flew as if they were on drugs. Because spending time with him was having the same affect as drugs would have on different people.

"Can I take one photo of you?" you asked. "The light is just too perfect to miss this out."

He stepped closer. Handed you the camera. When his hand touched yours, it felt like being burned in the best way possible.

"Yes. But only if this goes to your special secret folder with the other ones."

You nodded. His fingers played with yours. You looked up at his face and lips he just licked. And then you kissed him again. This was probably the slowest kiss you ever shared. Not a quick "hurry up before someone sees us" type of kiss. No, this was the one where you explored, drowned in the moment. You were becoming used to the texture of his lips, the way his tongue moved and how his teeth lightly bit your own lips once in a while. This wasn't a rushed moment. This was a study session. It continued to surprise you how great of a kissing partner he was to you. Putting most of your previous kisses you had with other people in shame.

When his hand slowly traced a line starting down your neck and ending right above your nipple, you could feel him smile into your kiss. "Shall I continue?" Lando had his line of asking for consent and making it sound hot mastered to perfection.

"Yes."

"Yes...?"

"Yes, please."

"That's more like it." And he went on to circle and squeeze your nipple. It was as if he had unlocked a new level. The further you went the more had the curiosity about how it must feel when he'd be inside you grew into a need. Desire transforming to urge. Intrigue growing to lust. Lando studied what kind of an effect each of his move had. And used what he had observed to toy with you even more. He gently pushed you to the nearest tree, pressed his body against yours and bit your nipple through your shirt, causing you only wanting more. You grabbed his hand it on your other breast and make him squeeze it. While you yourself started exploring his torso under his t-shirt. He returned back to kissing you, while his hands roamed around your body. You reached all the way to his belt and pulled him forward. "Careful, Y/N," Lando joked in between kisses. "Might be hard to turn back and stop if we keep it at this pace. Here in this forest. Anyone could walk by."

Your hand started to trace the outline of his growing erection. "Is it bad that I'm finding that hot?"

He smiled. "Yes. And I guess we are both bad people."

You gently grabbed him. The reaction his body was giving you was everything. "So we'll stop here. We need to get you to the stupid event anyway."

Lando took a deep breath. "Right."

"Right," you smiled, finally seeing that you have some effect on him, which was only making you want to go further in the future.

You both stepped away from each other, burning each other with eye contact. Once Lando came back to normal a bit, he winked at you. "Come along, I need to smile at people who are making sure we get paid."

"Fair enough." You snapped an unexpected photo, getting his flustered face in the perfect light. Cheeky smiles were shared again.

The sun was almost set as you reached his car. "I'll drive you to the hotel."

"You sure?" you asked. "I'm happy to get a cab to be safe."

"Nonsense, you'd be waiting here for half an hour. Come, I'll drop you off in the parking lot of the hotel, quickly dress and head to the event."

You got into his car, reluctantly. Once you were settled, he promply started the car, did 180 drift and had the car sprint to the road entrance.

You laughed. "Show off...."

"Ha, as if."

The drive was silent for few minutes, but after that Lando started asking you quite a lot of questions. It seemed a bit strange to you. He was suddenly interested in how you like your colleagues, what got you to the world of F1, how your family handled the fact you were away all the times. You made a joke about this feeling like an interview. He joked back, saying he is continuing on trying different roles and progressed from a photographer to an interviewer. You had a lot to say about this - how come he would consider this a progress?

It felt like you could spend hours talking to this British idiot.

In the middle of your conversation, he put his hand on your leg for a moment. It really should not make you lose focus on the outside world so quickly, right?

part 5

_______________________

@i-wish-this-was-me @lqvesoph

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #ln4 imagine #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris angst #mclaren

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rain0tes · 3 months

Text

Hazbin Hotel has me on a chokehold lately. I have so many silly little ideas for it.

One of these ideas is a hacker!reader who's only been in hell for a few months, having died because they were borderline addicted to hacking. Seeing any security measures that were put up as a challenge. That includes breaching confidential data. Eventually, that leads to them being 'silenced' by the government because that was easier than admitting that their security was flawed.

Hacker!reader, who takes in a more robotic esque form. Making it even easier to access devices because they themselves can process the data instead of lugging around a laptop.

Hacker!reader who Alastor hated the first time you made an appearance at the newly rebuilt hotel.

That was until you mentioned passively how easy it would be to mess with the V's, especially Vox.

"I've seen indie games that have more secure servers than this. I could easily zipbomb Vox and decommission him for a few days."

Now you have him intrigued...even if he didn't understand half of the words you just said.

You just spawned in hell, but here you are already messing with its overlords.

He'd try to get you to sign a deal with him. After all, the V's greatest strength is their iron grip on technology/social media. Yet you're saying you could mess with their work in a matter of weeks?

Although you're too smart to fall for his schemes, so he won't be gaining a new soul any time soon.

But a deal will still be struck. After all, you have little to no fighting capabilities.

He'll protect you from harm as long as you continue to mess with the V's. It's a mutually benefiting situation.

(masterlist)

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #alastor #reader insert #gn reader

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ghostaholics · 1 year

Note

for soulmate au:

would johnn and reader cross paths again and if they would what would it look likee

would they maybe find a way to love eachother despite johnn's proffesion

𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒖

here’s more on what happens between them

After their long talk, they decide to regrettably, but amicably part ways – neither of them like the circumstances, but they agree it’s for the best. She sends him off with a hug; they hold onto each other for a little bit longer than they should. It tides them over for maybe a week. Cue a whole montage of them in their respective places unable to adjust back to normal life for a while.

Then, as previously mentioned, it starts to hurt. At first, it starts off like a little twinge – a bones-deep sadness that comes and goes every so often but she tries to ignore the feeling. It gets worse not long after, a visceral chest pain that’s so awful it sends her straight to A&E; she thinks she might be having a heart attack. Who’s your emergency contact? they question. Don’t have one, she says, and it sends another stab of pain through her. The entire hospitalization is about a day-long affair. They run every test in the book, they give her clot-busters, vasodilators — hell, they’re contemplating cutting her open for invasive procedures even though the labs don’t say she’s had a myocardial infarction, just an EKG that had some anomalies but everything else was fine. Someone, a cardiologist maybe, has the sense to ask, How’s your soulmate? And she replies in a grim tone, ‘We don’t talk.’ Well, there’s the problem.

Price caves. He caves so fucking bad; calls her up (they’d agreed only to contact each other for emergencies), because to be honest, he wasn’t sure if it was just him or if she’d been feeling it too – emotional pain was never in the books but it seems like now it is. This is new. This is bad. His voice is gruff like usual but the concern is evident behind his words. And the second they hear each other down the line, there’s a weight that’s been lifted – the pain dulls. Relief. Not quite gone altogether, but more manageable. Neither of them feel like they’re on the brink of death anymore. And there are just shaky breaths being exchanged on both ends as they try to come to grips with what’s been happening. So, cutting all contact, going cold-turkey, is clearly not going to work for either of them. They know they can’t be doing this, but the more they talk over the phone, the easier it gets to breathe, to function normally. And so it begins.

Their relationship runs on a schedule; a loophole – every Sunday, 0600 her time. They count it down, too. Exactly one hour. Just enough for them to keep the pain at bay, to go about their lives until the next call. Sometimes longer when he knows he's about to go off-the-grid for a mission and won't make the usual Sunday time. They talk about anything and everything: she usually talks about her personal life, old stories from her past, what she’s making for breakfast, what her plans are for the week, and him – stuff about the 141 (never anything confidential or gory) like what sort of antics they get up to, spends an entire call telling her about Villa Claras and why they’re the superior cigar (kind of a nerd about those, whiskey, and the Reds, which she finds endearing – actually very knowledgeable regarding many things that he can talk her ear off about for hours). She falls in love with his voice first, the rest comes after slowly.

The more times they use this loophole, the weaker it gets. It starts off with him asking for five more minutes; yeah, he hears the alarm go off. Maybe a little bit longer will buy him more time throughout the week until the next call. Nothing they haven’t done before. But five turns into ten the week after, then twenty, and so forth. She says his name softly, interrupts him when they reach 0930 during one of their talks. I know what you're doing John. We can't. And here's the thing: it's a case of 'she fell first, but he fell harder.'

It doesn't last as long anymore; three days now until the longing starts back up again. And he calls her. He fucking calls her in the middle of the week on a Wednesday. John— She feels it too. I had to hear your voice again, he says with urgency. Because he just couldn't fucking help himself.

So they schedule something for Wednesdays. It'll help. It should. And it does, for all of two weeks until the same bloody thing happens again. This isn't sustainable. He knows that he’s not going to retire anytime soon, and even more that that – he knows that she shouldn't be doomed to live this kind of life. Not for for him, but most especially not fair for her. It's like she said, isn't it? She waited an entire lifetime for him. Why keep putting her through that? So he mentions this, kills him to do it: you deserve better; I know there's someone out there who can give you the things that I can't (Sunday mornings face-to-face over tea, to be near one another in a way where they can see the other's okay, where the hurt is non-existent; intimacy and affection and proper romance; marriage, growing old together, something quiet and normal.) She's already taken on his pain. He figures that it's his turn to bear it for the both of them now.

She tells him, without reservation, that it's the stupidest thing he's ever said. And before time's up for this call she uses the last few minutes to admit what's been on her mind lately. I don't want any of that stuff if it's not with you. What would be the point? It took me a while but I've finally figured out what soulmates are for; not for all the things you've said, as nice as they are – or would be; it’s simple, really. I was put on this earth to love you and I think that I've fulfilled my purpose. Nothing else matters.

She waits for his call on Sunday, 0600 on the dot – he's always punctual, she knows; this time is no different. But she doesn't even get a 'hello' out before he speaks into the phone: I'm outside.

#idk if this was interesting or clarified anything #john price x reader #captain price x reader #captain john price x you #john price angst #captain john price #john price #captain price x you #john price x you

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thisblogisaboutabook · 4 months

Text

Cowboy Like Me - Part 1

Azriel x Reader

Azriel meets his match in a contract spy while attending a barge party in the Summer Court. Together, they are tasked to investigate rogue shipments coming into Prythian. Will they be able to tolerate each other? Will they fall in love along the way?

Inspired by the queens of my heart, Taylor Swift and Sarah J. Maas.

Part 2

Warnings: Language and some suggestiveness.

These functions were odious. Hundreds of elite fae from throughout Prythian gathering to spread gossip, exaggerate how deeply their coffers ran, and boast of their latest voyeurs in both the sheets and battlefields. Yet, amidst all of the cock measuring, bits of truth revealed themselves to those with the proper skill set. So yes, while odious indeed, a lucrative affair for me.

Tonight I’d found myself aboard a pleasure barge on the Adriatic Sea. Several High Lords accepted Tarquin’s invitation to a summer soirée honoring some milestone birthday of Cresseida’s. I couldn’t remember her age, I didn’t care honestly. The information I sought was of a more confidential manner.

Whenever any High Lords made their appearance at such gatherings, nobility from their respective courts came out in droves in hopes of rubbing elbows with the upper cress of their kingdoms. Minor lords sought advantageous matches for their heirs, esteemed merchants networked to expand trade routes, tittering courtiers cozied up to nobility in an effort to advance whichever cause they were pursuing that night.

A well-trained ear and eye lusted for occasions such as this. Those Minor Lords so easily letting details slip of their needs, allowing a glean of where their courts higher nobility were failing them. The merchants whispering confidential details of questionable consignments slipped in with their usual fare.

And the courtiers, it was too simple to read in between the lines of their oh-so-cryptic conversations. The courtiers of lesser nobility who hadn’t yet mastered the art of subtlety were easy to read, even easier to trade gossip with.

My glamour skills were exceptional. Some would call the statement arrogant, but it was truth. On top of my assets as a spy, my ability to work my way into high profile events with subtle changes to my hair, eyes, and scent made spying a lucrative profession.

A contact from Adriata’s Port Authority had contracted my services for tonight. A shipment of jewels, spices, and varying textiles procured from the continent had arrived days ago with fake gems, missing rolls of fine silk, and poison laced spices that had been set aside for the royal kitchens. I’d been tasked with garnering any information that may lead to the perpetrators.

Initially it was suspected that the act had occurred before leaving the port of origin. However, Tarquin’s own contacts had accounted for everything at the port and again halfway through sailing. I had my suspicions of who was behind the act which led me to my current position, pretending to be engaged in conversation with the pompous son of some Minor Lord from Dawn.

Honestly, how many “Oh”, “Wow”, and “That’s very interesting”’s could I throw into the conversation before he realized I wasn’t paying attention.

Yet, what I saw behind the male was quite interesting. Eris Vanserra making a rare Autumn Court appearance, far too casually winding through the crowd toward the High Lord of the Night Court as the lovely High Lady shared an animated story about, “Water Wolves”, whatever those were. The story just interesting enough to garner the attention of the surrounding audience long enough for the High Lord to stride off to a more secluded area toward the bow of the ship. The same place Eris had conveniently found himself at.

Feigning ill, I excused myself from the one-sided conversation. Quickly, I glamoured myself to look a bit more pale, and padded toward the bow. Fortunately there was a blind spot within earshot perfectly hidden by a few crates of spare items for the night should any dishwear or wines run out from the various tables spread around the barge. Keeping up my ruse I leaned over the rail, quietly dry heaving.

“All I’m saying is watch your shipments. An influx of boats have been reported leaving our ports recently. He’s up to something.” Eris’ hushed voice warned.

Oh, this was very interesting. Autumn’s heir apparent heeding warning to the Night Court.

The High Lord’s voice lowly inquired, “Do you know wh-“

The atmosphere suddenly turned dark as shadows swirled next to me. Raising from his perched position in the dark stood the High Lord’s spymaster.

Shit.

“Did the oaf you were speaking with bore you to sickness or is this washed out complexion a new glamour?”

Shit!

“People are staring, Shadowsinger. Are you going to ask me to dance or should we make a spectacle of ourselves?” I smirked cooly. Unsure of how I managed to pull off the collected facade in the face of the feared, and…. devastatingly gorgeous? Spymaster of the Night Court.

He smirked - a deadly, seductive smirk, extending his hand. This was a dangerous game. “My lady, honor me with a dance?”

I stepped toward him, aware of every weapon carefully placed underneath my silken cobalt blue dress. His shadows keenly aware of them too as they swirled around the location of each hidden sheath.

Oh, they were good.

His fingers gripped tightly atop the most easily accessible of my daggers, firmly pressed to my waist as a herringbone corset would be. His opposite hand gripped mine just tightly enough that it couldn’t slip free.

“You know, beautiful, it seems you’ve got a couple of weapons under your dress. You’re quite the double threat.” his face remained relaxed but those hazel eyes promised strife if I didn’t comply.

They stepped in rhythm to the Summer Court medley that played “It takes one to know one, handsome.”

He twirled me outward and pulled me back in before I could dare consider escaping. “I’m protecting my High Lord. Weapons come with the territory. Who are you serving?”

I batted my eyes innocently “I’ll serve you if you ask politely.”

I could have sworn the slightest shift in scent invaded my senses, “Ah, but you’re not a courtier, darling. You’re a spy. And I don’t take kindly to spies listening in on my courts affairs.”,

“Luckily for me, our interests seem to align.” I countered.

He dipped me back just in time to lock stares with the High Lord, stars twinkling in his eyes as he looked down at me, “Ah, brother. Who is your lovely dance partner?”

Once again,

Shit.

And then everything went black as we winnowed.

~~~~~~~~

“Welcome to the Hewn City - My name is Azriel. Care to share your name?”

“Elyse.” I lied.

Azriel stepped forward, “No dear, I don’t believe it is. Let’s not get off on a worse foot than we already have.”

I rolled my eyes. Fine. “Y/N.”

Good girl. He purred. The heat that pooled in my core at his tone was pathetic. Traitorous body.

“Why were you spying on Rhysand?”

I was a spy for hire. Being tortured in the name of Adriata’s Port Authority was not how I was going down. So I told him the truth.

“Adriata received a shipment with stolen goods and poison laced spices. I was simply seeking information on the matter.”

“And you felt that my High Lord was involved?”

I scoffed. “No, not exactly. While your High Lord is rather cunning, he’s not one to risk sparking a Civil War. Especially against his own ally.” I looked intently to the Spymaster with a smirk, “That bastard Eris Vanserra on the other hand…”

I could have sworn amusement briefly flashed in his eyes at the statement as he sat before me. “I’ve seen you at several functions recently. You are sly, I’ll give you that. But you have tells. The way your eyes wander off of those you are in conversation with. The slight lies you give the courtiers in an effort to bring their guard down and let information slip. Your glamours are excellent but not enough to disguise you once you’ve been spotted.”

Confusion swirled in my brain at this tactic. Certainly the willingness to share was an effort of bringing my guard down.

I stiffened. “Why are you telling me this?”

He raised an eyebrow “You shared information with me, I am simply returning the favor.”

“How generous of you , Azriel.” My tone was sharp. But his name… Oh how it tasted like honey on my tongue.

He shrugged. “This doesn’t have to be hard. Despite what you may have heard about me, I am a reasonable male. From what I’ve seen, up until tonight, you’ve never been a threat to those I’m allied with.”

I relaxed a bit at the statement. “You’ve watched me that closely?”

“What kind of spymaster would I be to not keep tabs on potential enemy spies?”

“I am not your enemy, Azriel.” Damn my tone for coming out so softly.

He looked at me earnestly, “I know.”

“Then why am I here?”

His gaze once again shifted to that of the infamous spymaster, “I want you to work with me.”

——————————————————————————

Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll and/or took the time to read this! I hope to post Part 2 this week. Stay tuned!

#cowboy like me #taylor swift #acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #x reader #sarah j maas #fanfic #fanfiction #a court of frost and starlight #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #feyre archeron #night court #summer court

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bones-of-a-rabbit · 6 months

Text

the abandonment issues au,,

where Sun and Moon gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss their way into ur heart

and then turn into sad wet baby kittens when u find out and call them out on it <3

(copy and pasted from the space aces discord, sorry fellas lmao)

abandonment issues au:

ok what if. fucked up au time

where. reader is the new daycare assistant or a mechanic or smthn idk theyre working withh Sun and Moon thats the important part

i think it works better if theyre like, Sun n Moon's handler? Bc they r closer that way and it makes it more fucked up lmaooooo

so basically. this takes place right after Sun n Moon had their best friend-handler person leave bc Sun n Moon had been acting increasingly volatile n buggy n rlly just having issues but the more the previous handler tried to talk to them abt it and fix it the more they got anxious abt getting decommissioned and would cover up the problems n act like nothing was wrong

and eventually one day the previous handler nearly got rlly hurt and knew they had to leave bc it wasn't safe for them and they left a detailed warning/report for the mechanics

(and they didnt say goodbye, not out of malice or anything just bc they didnt want even more reasons for Sun n Moon to act up/potentially hurt them or themselves)

so. the mechanics did a total clean up of Sun n Moon's system, basically left their memories but scrubbed their data of a lot of the 'feelings' they'd had- mostly wiping away the feelings tied to 'good' memories, and the only thing Sun n Moon could do to fill in the void of 'feelings' was assign different feelings in their place, so when they once looked back and felt happy or nostalgic, now they feel confused and angry and sad and betrayed bc why was all of that happiness taken from them?? why did their handler hurt them like this??

so the scrubbing of their systems, which was one thing they really really didn't want to have done for fear of losing their memories entirely, DID work in putting their issues on a much lower level,, but it didn't get rid of the issues entirely. Now they're just,, easier to hide or play off or ignore. They're careful around the kids, of course, but they do at times have trouble with their motor controls or their speech will glitch slightly, etc

a few handlers come and go, never staying for more than a week or so- none of them really care about the job, don't see Sun n Moon as coworkers but more like fancy 'machines' with no real thoughts or emotions, they normally leave after Sun or Moon has a glitchy moment and nearly hurts them or, in at least one case, does hurt them by squeezing their wrist too hard. more often than not, the ppl applying for the position read the list of warnings n cautions and are like 'hell nahh' and bail immediately

then. in comes,, reader. local dumbass. most endearing of idiots. a bit dense. very much clueless. dearly beloved

you're the first one to really treat them like your coworkers, making small talk and being friendly and kind and patient and laughing at their jokes. you smile when you introduce yourself, offering your hand for them to shake- not afraid of them or their little twitches at all. god, how they missed that. you remind them of their previous handler, if only in how you see them like theyre people and not machines.

and they make a mutual agreement to do whatever they can to keep you as their handler. even if it means dodging around company rules and policies by doing something like crumpling up the confidential 'warning' forms, ortelling the occasional white lie, like forging your signature onto the papers when your back is turned and making sure it makes it to your manager without either of you noticing who exactly was putting it on their desk.

you've already started calling them your friends the first time they have a glitchy moment. you're doing detailing work on their endoskeleton, really just cleaning dust away and making sure everything looks the way it does in the manual, when they break something- a tablet, a pen, your phone, whatever it is, it happens in an instant and startles you.

when Sun n Moon come to and realize whats happened theyre terrified. what if you use this as some kind of excuse to leave? What if you abandon them, just like their previous handler did? What if you start treating them differently, or you tell the staff that they need to be scrapped

so when you ask what that was about, they're frantic, quick to come up with something, anything that might make you shrug and forget all about it,

"Well, you WERE just working on their insides, right? That must have been something YOU did to suddenly make us do something like THAT! There's no way else it could have happened. Right?"

You take the lie hook, line, and sinker, apologizing profusely, promising to try harder to make sure nothing like that happens again. The relief they feel is almost euphoric. They pat you on the head kindly, reassuring you that they know you didn't do it on purpose, it was just a little mess up! You're fine, friend, we forgive you.

From then on, they dodge blame and truth alike, most often redirecting your attention to something you must have said or done to make something so strange and out of character for them happen so suddenly, and you believe them, full of apologies and careful words and actions and nervous worrying about doing things wrong and hurting them somehow. It's cute, how anxious you can get. It's cuter, how you melt for their comfort and reassurance.

They play the song and dance with you again and again, weaving doubt and guilt into you more and more frequently. Until one day, you mumble something about how 'maybe i'm not cut out for this, maybe i should switch to be on the janitorial team instead, or some other department, i don't want to hurt you guys, or-or be the reason someone else gets hurt, i clearly dont know what im doing, and it's only gotten worse, maybe i should talk to my manager,,' and they panic

don't be silly, friend!!!! you can't just leave like that, what about the kids, what about that puppet show you had helped them plan, did you really want to just abandon all that?? so what if maybe they had the occasional hiccup, you were always there to smooth it over, who cared whether they dropped things from time to time, or- or broke a toy or two, that didn't matter, did it??? You were getting so good at being their handler, your little mistakes were normal, come on, you don't want to leave your very best friends. Do you?

and you cave, agreeing to stay, and they are so, so extremely careful to hide their little moments from you for several weeks, making sure you don't notice their tiny twitches or split seconds of glitchy voices, maybe keeping a closer eye on you than would be comfortable, watching over your shoulder each time you type up a report about the day, giving the manager a loathsome glower behind your back whenever they happen by,, and every time you leave you say 'i'll see you guys tomorrow!,' they grab onto your sleeve and respond with 'promise?' so you always know that they really, really do want you to come back

and then. one day,, you decide to go looking in their files for something small and silly, like what kinds of updates had been added to their pick-up protocols, and you find the warnings and cautions forms

and you see your signature on them, but you would definitely remember this and you are absolutely certain you have never seen these papers in your life. and you take the papers and you go to ask them about it.

"i thought you said you never had any problems before? you told me you never had any issues before but this- this is full of things that you- and you, you've been having these problems for that long??"

they stumble over their words, frantic, panicked, backpedaling on everything theyve ever said, trying meekly to grab the papers from your hands, piling excuses on excuses

"you knew? you knew you were having these problems, and you didn't tell me? and you- you told me it was my fault!"

you're close to tears, hurt that they lied more than anything. you keep backing away from them, dodging their attempts to get the forms. they don't know which is worse- seeing that look on your face, or when they were left without so much as a goodbye.

"you could have told me. i thought i was the reason for everything, i thought i was hurting you, and you just... you lied right to my face and let me think that."

theyre putting on their best soothing voice, movements slow and gentle, wanting to comfort you and wipe those tears away and reassure you somehow that this- this isn't their fault, none of it is, it never was, they're fine and you're fine and nothing was ever wrong, and everything will be fine if only you calm down and stay

you can tell they arent really listening. you take a deep breath and turn away from them, scraping the tears from your face. you tell them you're going to go home and write up a report about all of this and when you come back you can go over it together before you send it to management, but right now you're leaving because you need space to breathe and time to think

but all they hear is that you're leaving, and they panic.

they don't hurt you, of course! but right now you're not allowed to leave.

you try to shut out the sound of them crying and apologizing and begging, even if it breaks your heart, because right now all you want to do is go home and lie in your stupid bed and have a stupid cry in your favorite pajamas. but you try every door you can think of- none of them open. you've sstayed past closing more than once, but the doors aren't normally shuttered for another two hours,, and you're pretty sure the night guard isn't even here yet

the entire time you're walking around the 'plex, Moon is trailing sadly behind you, waiting with the saddest, most pathetic wet cat look an animatronic can achieve, for you to turn and face them again

and thus begins what is probably the longest night of your life, spent trying to avoid your animatronic friends/coworkers who are acting like the worlds clingiest ex who just got broken up with and who can't stop dropping sad love songs in ur dms

by the time morning rolls around, they agree to actually go to parts n services and cooperate and try their best to get whatever is wrong with them repaired, even if it means they might get decomissioned. in the mean time, you promise to come back once they're fixed and work with them to help them get back to their old selves- or at least, back to how they were before any potentially dangerous bugs

basically this is the 'sun and moon have abandonment issues and gaslight you abt it' au

idk what else would happen tbh idk why i thought this au needed to exist either but here we are *lays facedown in a puddle*

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night-raven-tattler · 1 month

Note

Hello Mx Tattly, I hope I can request some angst for GN!MC x Jamil? Basically, what could be the reasons for them to break up, and how would Jamil handle the fallout?

Hello, anon! Mx Tattly is pleased with the request! Being a teen in love is hard, and first relationships are rarely successful. Mx Tattly still hopes you enjoy!

Relationships are...

Characters: Jamil × GN!Reader (romantic)

Warnings: angst, failing relationship, breakup, misunderstandings, mention of crying

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

1. Relationships are a stupid idea, but everyone is a bit stupid sometimes, even Jamil.

The moment Jamil agreed to go on your first date, his first date, he knew there was no coming back

Something about the new territory and the uncertainty of teenage love made him nervous

He interpreted the nerves making his stomach twist and turn as the famous love butterflies everyone was talking about

Maybe in the beginning they were

When everything was nice and you both were riding the high of the relationship

You seemed to understand him so well, doing your best to support him by supporting him emotionally or giving a hand with his tasks around the dorm

You loved his cooking, his meticulous nature and his dedication to be on top of everything

And he knew that

He cooked you meals that he always called “leftovers” because admitting he put some of his time aside just for you felt a little too personal, too much

He memorized your schedule and always “just happened to pass by you” while you were heading to classes outside of the school building

He offered you the possibility of joining him and Kalim when they studied, wanting to help you understand more of his world without outwardly saying it

Jamil wished to be understood, to be read for once

But maybe the reading material he tried to offer you was in a language you were not ready to learn…

One evening after his club activities, you tried to invite him to spend the night with you

A sleepover, nothing more

Jamil would’ve loved that

Being away from Kalim for a night, enjoying some alone time with his sweetheart…

But he remembered Kalim needed help putting his uniform in the morning

And he also had to prepare his breakfast

And leaving at the crack of dawn just to help him and inconvenience you by waking you up was not worth it

He thought he did the right thing by refusing your offer- no, he knew he did the right thing

Inconveniencing you was unacceptable, his sweetheart deserved to enjoy their sleep

It’s the least he could do after denying your thoughtful offer

“...Okay. I get it. Maybe next time.”

Exactly, next time! When he will be able to trust Kalim more-

No, trust his dorm mates to care for Kalim better so he can have time for himself

But you have to accept the fact that Kalim was someone he was obligated to prioritize

And he knew you understood, he was sure of it by now

Otherwise, you wouldn't have agreed to date him, right?

『••✎••』

2. Relationships are far too complicated, why can’t the feelings involved just be easier to deal with?

Jamil wasn’t lucky enough to have a simple life

He cared for you, really

But the way you started being less talkative to him made no sense to him

He offered you dinner every evening, still calling it “leftovers” but now as an inside joke

And he even stood with you for a few minutes while you ate before running back to Scarabia after a frantic call from one of the students about Kalim

“Yeah, I understand. Go, Jamil. Hope you don’t have too much of a mess to clean up.”

And the next day, he’d make sure to walk you to your classes outside the main school building

Even if Kalim trailing after you like a hyperactive puppy

Or even if he could only walk you halfway through because he didn’t dare leave Kalim unsupervised for too long

Despite your silence, you still accepted his presence

And even warmed up to him back somewhat as you walked

But then things would get weird with your mood again

Jamil tried explaining a simple formula to you that you simply couldn’t wrap your head around

No matter how he explained it to you, it was something beyond your comprehension

“I know you can do it, Reader. Just focus.”

“I am focusing, Jamil. I think I just need a break, that’s all.”

“Alright, but after 10 minutes we’ll get back to it again. I can’t have you fall behind, even Kalim understands it.”

After the 10 minutes ran out, you made an excuse to leave and packed your things while you asked him not to text you for the rest of the day

Jamil wasn’t stupid, but feelings sure made him feel like it

After all, he was finally to put together the source of your frustration

『••✎••』

3. Relationships are a sham.

Talking to you about your frustrations with Kalim was fruitless

“You’re too glued to him, you deserve some space!”

“When was the last time we simply spent some time together without any disturbances?!”

“He won’t die if you let him on his own for a bit! What is he, a child?!”

He left your dorm more frustrated than before

Frustrated at Kalim for consuming his life like the parasyte he was

Frustrated at you for not understanding his position

Frustrated at himself...

For thinking you’d understand…

He never got what he wanted, why would this time be different?!

He collapsed on his bed and lost sleep over his self pity

『••✎••』

4. Relationships are tough… but is it that bad?

You came to him early in the morning, and apologized profusely for your outburst

You understood his position, you really thought you did

But the frustration got to you, no matter how hard you tried to push it away

Jamil accepted your apology, and you clung onto each other for the next few days, a reminder of the early days

But even after making amends, you never managed to quite find your old footing again

Jamil started forgetting about making your dinner with you and brought actual leftovers with him

It’s still the thought that counts, right?

You understood the moment you noticed the sudden abundance of spices

You also told Jamil he didn’t need to guide you around school all the time, you can just meet when you had classes around the same area

You went back to studying with both Kalim and Jamil, but you only payed attention when Jamil was explaining a concept both you and Kalim would need for your classes

You finally found a balance

That’s what he thought anyway

Yes, the time spent together seemed to diminish slightly, but no couple had all partners glued to each other all the time, right?

That’s why the return of your silence made his stomach turn

But, this time, you broke your own silence

“I don’t think I like the way things are going, Jamil.”

“I care about you, I do, but I know you’re spreading yourself too thin.”

“I miss having alone time with you, I… I can’t keep going like this. I’m sorry.”

You waited for a reply, any reply

Jamil only said one thing

“As you wish.”

You stood there for a few seconds, unsure what to do

Then you rushed out of his room

As a last act of kindness to you as his lover, he let you go

He finally realised you felt caged, so he released you

Jamil has felt caged his entire life

And doing that to you was too much for him

He let you go the moment you wanted out without putting up a fight

He could take his revenge on Kalim because he hated him

But you…

He couldn’t hate you, as much as he wanted to in that moment

All Jamil could hate was himself for not being better at this whole relationship thing, maybe that would’ve made you stay longer

『••✎••』

5. Relationships are not his cup of tea

Jamil was somewhat numb after the breakup

It was just a relationship, he didn’t need to fret over it for too long

He tried moving forward and simply sticking to his routine

A routine that he intertwined so much with yours that he often saw you in the hallways

When you saw him, you did your best to keep things brief and leave as soon as possible

You obviously were trying to “make things less awkward”

But he was clearly unbothered

He was fine

Everything was fine

So why didn’t you want to talk to him like before?

Did the friendship you had before dating just go up in flames?!

He soon followed your lead, avoiding you just like you avoided him

Kalim became the sole background noise of his life once again, but he had no more energy to be frustrated about it

He didn’t like to admit it but Kalim being his usual annoying self helped him slip back into his routine before meeting you

Except for when Kalim talked about you

A conversation topic Jamil refused to indulge with

Kalim missed you and became sad when you rejected his attempts at smoothing things over for his friend

And Jamil had no energy to argue with him anymore

After all, he deserved the silence and the awkwardness and the avoidance and the emptiness

The numb ache in his heart that reminded him of everything he did wrong

A growing dull ache that he never seemed to shake away

Until one night, when he woke up from a dream that had you in it

And he allowed to cry for you once

Just once

At least once

And it helped him slightly slip back to his old self again

His grumpy yet meticulous, clever yet in hiding, caring yet clumsy in the affairs of love

At the end of the day he had to accept the fact that whatever happened is over, and his only option is moving forward

The numb ache slowly dwindled as he saw you less and less, your past connection a blurry memory

Maybe relationships are not for him

He had better things to look after anyway

Like... you know, what he's always been doing

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #no beta we die like jamil's relationship......... the tattler will see himself out goodbye

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mandalhoerian · 1 year

Text

leon kennedy + love languages analysis

It’s in Leon’s job description to help and serve, he’s always out there chasing bioweapons and their makers to save others or doing the bidding of his higher-ups — it’s all in the name of the right thing and out of his strong sense of justice. It doesn’t matter if he’s in an overbearing mission breathing down his neck in utmost priority, he will stop and try his best to help out a random citizen as you can see in RE6. He does also state in RE2 remake that helping people in need was why he chose his occupation, be it in his emo era too, Leon just can’t look away from innocent bystanders. Accepting to look for Claire’s brother when he just met her that night, and also the inability to leave Ada alone in the maze of the sewer he has no idea how to solve the puzzle to, and agreeing to whatever Helena wanted to show him when he was so suspicious of her because she was distraught and clearly in need of something are just some examples of this.

He helps however he can, whenever he can; he also expresses great concern for the wellbeing of others before his own as it’s his main drive in life. Leon’s a man of duty and selfless in nature, the only time he’s done anything for himself was when he wanted to chase the trail of bioweapons in Eastern Slav Republic instead of pulling back like he was ordered to, and even that was work.

Therefore we can say acts of service is his primary love language, so much so you would want him to take a break from it.

Leon really doesn’t look after himself.

His go-to self-destruction method is to indulge in alcohol to deal with his problems and drink away his feelings instead of seeking help. Maybe he doesn’t believe in getting help in his field of work (nobody has gone through what he has, and seen what he’s seen, and maybe he doesn’t want to bother people with any of it), but he does shut himself off and ignores his problems — doesn’t ask for help, at all.

In Damnation, he pushes Hunnigan away when she tries to explain the situation to him and nonchalantly dissolves the conversation when she’s afraid he’s going to take off. In Vendetta, he’d rather fight Chris and put on a sarcastic demeanor than to express vulnerability when he clearly needs someone to be his confidant. He doesn’t want to share his burden, but will relentlessly pressure you to share yours.

With his significant other, he would want to take on the weight of whatever’s on you regardless — from mundane things around the house like cleaning, fixing things, preparing breakfast so you can sleep a little bit more and being a great giver in bed to grander gestures like taking a bullet for you and becoming mean to you in order to keep you away from harm’s way (like he did with Claire at the end of Infinite Darkness, he lost his friendship with her but it kept her safe). Leon will go above and beyond to make life better and easier for you, but he is obsessed with your safety first and foremost.

However, you will have problems with getting him to open up like I mentioned previously, he deals with his problems on his own and he won’t want to trouble you with whatever he’s going through at the moment — with the plus of his job being mostly confidential, it’s a struggle to help him when the most of his suffering comes from the loss and trauma that comes with it.

It makes him emotional that you help in other areas though, when you clean up his place at times he is away for a long time, when you make a homemade meal cooked just for him, or when you offer to give him shoulder massages seeing as he’s extremely tired. He isn’t used to being taken care of, and part of him feels guilty, but he’s so appreciative and happy someone cares for him this much.

Leon moves around quite often and is rarely at his place of residence, so he doesn’t spend a lot of time at home. Therefore, even when his place screams how fat his salary is from the outside, his house is not a home, it doesn’t have a lot in it and is basically empty like a ghost is living in it. And again, with being an agent comes the practicality of not having a lot on you so you can be more flexible, but it’s almost as if it reflects how little he thinks of his life and has nothing to leave behind if he dies on duty.

He even has two default outfits, first is anything he can throw on himself (preferably jeans) with a leather jacket and the second is the agent outfit, which is just a suit (button-up shirts grew on him over the years.) He isn’t someone who treats himself aside from alcohol and he doesn’t care much for luxuries — the only materialistic things that could excite him were a bike and a bazooka, and both were found by him randomly and were tools to help him in action.

What he chooses to own, though, are high in quality. His RE4 outfit has Schott’s Classic B-3 Sheepskin Leather Bomber Jacket is $1495 USD. He also drove to Racoon City in a Jeep that he had to abandon. Being rich makes you this carefree, huh?

He has a lot more than he can spend, therefore I believe he would happily spend it on his significant other. Leon would be the type of guy who buys something out of nowhere because it reminded him of you, or that he saw you looking at it, maybe it was a chocolate bar, or maybe some random scented candle you thought looked sick. He loves seeing you surprised and delighted, and thinking of your space having the traces of him makes him happy — makes him feel the bond is more concrete and tangible. He’s a giver, so it’s only natural he gives presents too.

Now, receiving gifts from you is another level of joy for him. Leon wouldn’t have thought he cared much about things like that but the thought. The idea of you thinking this much of him and putting your heart into it, there’s something intimate in it that has him feeling so important. Owning things you gave him has a special place in his heart, and he will take great care of them. Maybe he still has the wrapper of some ribbon from a package in his drawer, who’s to say? It’s the carnal desire to hold onto the proof of your existence, perhaps.

Leon has absolutely no time at all for himself, and in his days off, they keep pulling him back for some unexpected emergency. His schedule is unpredictable. In RE4, he does say “Story of my life,” when Hunnigan reminds him that he’s on duty right now after he flirts with her. Then later, he reminds her that it was them who pulled him out of furlough for this when she tells him to fall back on his Eastern Slav Republic mission. Leon rarely gets any break from bioweapon fighting and over the years, the exhaustion has taken a toll on him, the only constant is chaos in his life, he scarcely can spare any mundane moments to his acquaintances as he barely has any time for himself.

Quality time though, as he lacks so much of it, is something he yearns for deep down. I mean, hello, the way he wanted that dinner with Claire in Infinite Darkness? He really really wanted her company, and to catch up with her. He asked Shenmei as well. It's a crime that nobody accepted his requests, someone go get dinner with him right now.

It’s because he can’t spend time with people that he wants it so badly in the first place. That’s where he is also self-destructive and it’s a double-edged sword. He seeks company of flirtations because he’s lonely, yet he won’t pursue anything serious. He’s scared of committing to someone since it won’t work due to complications and the distance, it’ll get messy.

He even deprives himself of friendships and is unwilling to let anyone get too close. Leon is an isolationist, yet he needs people in his life to process his trauma and grief and bully him about his drinking habits but keeps denying himself the company.

And then there’s the fear of losing that person. He doesn’t spend any time getting close to people, he treasures the companions he has, but everybody is at an arm’s length. He already reacts so negatively to the deaths of allies he barely got to know briefly — Ada messed him up real good, too. How do you think he feels imagining what he could have had with her? He wants stability and settling, but Ada is anything but that. He chases every interaction to be longer, seeks her company just for their meeting to be stretched even by minutes. Leon gets attached so easily, and he deprives himself of time with them out of being scared by it. One part of him must be comfortable in his love for her because it’ll never become a reality, because she’ll never take him up to it, he’d rather take the suffering than the happiness.

But quality time also is so important to him because it’s in these times of ordinary domesticity that he can find normalness outside the crazy undead shit he has to deal with. It helps him recharge and he craves having this to come back to.

He would feel so guilty about not being able to be with his significant other, he could even forget important days and miss important moments of your life and he wouldn’t even know most of the time because he’s just so occupied and in survival mode for a while after he comes back. You would have to be understanding of his situation and forgiving, too, it’s not up to him whatever he gets called in for, and because you wouldn’t know what it was, it’s a great deal of practicing patience, and that’s why it’s hard being in a relationship with Leon. Hell, it’s the base reason why couples break up; the guy is inattentive and negligent and the girl breaks it off in the end. In this scenario, zombies are involved.

You can only get the peaceful moments inbetween with him. And it has to be enough, and believe that he hates going away as much as you do and more.

Leon hates being praised. He dislikes being heralded as some legend for getting out of Racoon City alive and his experiences ultimately leading him to rescuing the president’s daughter only to be elevated in praise more.

He was just at the wrong place at the right time. He got lucky, ended up trailing behind Ada who was competent at what she did and reached the root of the problem just because he happened to run into her — it wasn’t him, it was just stars aligning. Pure coincidence.

Leon sometimes thinks he didn’t deserve making it out, but he did anyway, and now this life of his belongs to a purpose, the purpose.

He’s just doing his job. One shouldn’t be applauded for doing their job.

Compliments make him uncomfortable and it’s the easiest way to make him clamp up on a conversation, he’ll vehemently deny whatever it is and change the subject. It looks like Leon’s being humble (he is), but there’s a deeper reason with an underlying imposter syndrome going on in the back of his mind. He just doesn’t feel worthy some days.

Affirmations on the other hand also don’t come easy, he’s in one of the most coldly professional fields and it’s strictly business, and he is emotionally constipated and deeply traumatized, therefore there’s a lot he doesn’t say and he doesn’t know how to say, and he is bad at telling you what he wants. He’s good at sass and banter, but ask him to tell you about his nightmares and he’ll just hug you and go back to sleep.

Leon isn’t used to expressing affection through words either, and prefers to show it instead. You’ll know he loves you even if he doesn’t say it outright. But with his significant other, though, he’ll do his best to learn to be more affectionate with words to you to show his appreciation — just prepare for shy and awkward Leon. The soft side of him comes out this way, he’ll hesitantly ask you to stay and he’ll look so young doing it that it’ll melt your heart.

Leon is one touch-starved poor bastard.

Here’s the reason why: he’s a pretty lonely guy but he’d rather indulge in the warmth of a person than letting them in. Solitude is a personal preference of his, and it leads him to seeking out temporary companionship to feed this part of his. Meaningless one-night stands are a go-to of his, as they mean no deeper connection but all the skin to skin contact and the soothing heat beside him. If he’s lucky, his partner would pet his head during the deed, or caress his face, now those are the treat.

If he could just let go and the perfect opportunity arose, he would just lie in the arms of his significant other for hours being hugged by them, enveloped in the coziness, head empty and fuzzy. Those would be the perfect naps he needed, because wow does this guy not sleep well.

It would be a first for him to get affectionate touches coming with a friendship as well, it’s been a lifetime since he let himself be that way with someone, it’s not easy to get him to be chummy and lighthearted with you in that aspect. He’s a well-mannered guy too, so he’s the type to keep a respectable distance even when he’s being playful. Half-hugs, back pats and handshakes are the best you’re going to get as his friend, and they don’t happen often.

The clinginess blooms well into the relationship after Leon gets comfortable with exploring that childish, neglected part of his. He would adore hugs, hand-holding, reaching out to grab you casually while sitting next to you in the confines of your private space, you would feel his love through him seeking you out for comfort voluntarily and lowering his serious exterior to be relaxed around you. His utmost weakness is you playing with his hair and tracing his face with your fingers, because he goes out like a light almost immediately.

Leon also won't be rough with you physically while bonking so don't expect playfighting and do not hit him while joking around, he gets thrown around and hurt so much as it is (the amount of being strangled by tyrants and plagas? no, he's not into choking), and he tends to be extremely tender and sweet. Though you might discover a pretty interesting side of him if you decide to be assertive and take care of him in bed, you might just get addicted to how shy he could get.

[header template credits]

#leon kennedy #leon s. kennedy #leon kennedy headcanons #leon s. kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy x reader #leon s. kennedy x reader #leon x ada #resident evil headcanons #leon kennedy x you #im adding the reader tag even though this is very leon-centric because i can #who's gonna stop me #leon needs a hug #and all the affection he can get #this is just a very long post about his loneliness and isolation #Honestly Leon's that pretty intimidating guy who turns out to be so sweet and respectful and i want him #god i love this guy i just want to wrap him in a blanket and give him a break #shai talks #character: leon kennedy

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chimini3 · 4 months

Text

Saudade

Saudade (n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; “the love that remains”

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Synopsis: Amidst their preparations for the upcoming promotions, the boys neglect you at your worst times and you make a decision that forces them to realize just how much they miss and need you.

Notes: this was written in the middle of exam week because I didn’t wanna study soooo enjoyy how my brain rots and manifest into my writing quality. I think all of them are a bit stupid in here too (just like how i was when writing this)

Word Count: 21.6k

Getting into a relationship with an idol was not one for the faint of heart. You knew the troubles and problems that came along with it and you weren’t blind. You knew of the NDAs and the contracts that would be pushed to you by management to keep everything confidentially under wraps. You knew of the disgust some people would look towards you with when you walked through their work building. You knew of the potential risks of receiving hate and possibly ruining the reputation of your lover once word gets out, though that never stopped your love from running away from them. That never stopped them from loving you fonder, and making it known to the people that they can share it to that they loved you.

The way they would hold onto your hand just the right amount when you walked past the HYBE building lobby and hallways. The way that they would eat with you in the building’s cafeteria and proudly showing how much they enjoyed your company even with staff and other artists throwing an occasional glance at your table. They didn’t hold back when they took you out on private expensive dinner dates or public dates with minimal identity hiding accessories because they weren’t afraid to payout any media outlets that threatened to leak your identity. They didn’t even care when gossip went out that they were in a relationship with video evidence to prove that they slung their arm over your shoulder and lightly kissed you on the top of your head. They didn’t care. They only drew the line when an official media outlet captured the side of your face and immediately asked for the footage to be erased off the face of the earth with a good amount of bills to compensate, though they were berated by their management to at least be a little more careful considering other media outlets were fully in for the gossip and not for the payout. This also led to management apprehensively making the decision that you shouldn't be traveling with the boys to America since the company doesn’t have power over any of their media outlets, much to your lover’s dismay. Or should you say… lovers.

There was one thing they loved to show off silently when they spent time with personal friends and that was the family they had on their lockscreen, proudly showing all eight of you. Each lover had a different picture, though they all held the small polyamorous family that you had gathered.

Yes, you were in a relationship with all the members and no, that didn’t make life easier. At first you were totally apprehensive of the idea though as you spent more time with all of them and saw just how much love they held for each other as they held for you. You realized that loving them all equally wouldn’t be that hard and truly it wasn’t.

Your relationship with all of them came naturally. No, there was never a time you mixed them up or moaned the wrong name. No, your heart didn’t flutter for a certain member more than it did the other. You loved them all equally just as much as they loved each other and the transition of them loving an extra person came with ease.

They all managed to have their one-on-one time with you in a week whilst simultaneously spending time with the other members as lovers. Your relationship came straight out of a fanfic plot, and you’d giggle to yourself every time you remember that fact even if that caused your boyfriends to send a questioning glance at you.

However, with happiness comes sadness. The issues in dating one idol had multiplied itself to seven and no matter the bright smiles you had when you were together, it was the silent moments you had to yourself that truly planted worries of how relationships like this would work.

Surely they didn’t see a future in spending the rest of their lives sharing a lover with their bandmates, and you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t have moments of having zero energy left in you to give them all the love they deserved whilst simultaneously working on things for yourself like your job and personal interest. Although their tight reassurance made it feel better, the thoughts would always come back to haunt your mind and all of this build up had gathered before a particularly long stint of performances and media duties the band had in America.

It was a particularly long stint of argument piled on top of arguments. It was as if all you guys could do was argue. One night it would be Jin and Taehyung and the other would be Jimin and Namjoon. Sometimes it would even be all eight of you arguing over the dining table as the food you cooked for them grows colder with each shouting battle.

There were moments you weren’t proud of how you handled them, though you couldn’t simply agree that it was all your fault. The boys’ schedules were getting busier as the days to their American promotions got closer and you were all aware of the unavailability they would be on to care and give you attention. You have been in a relationship with them for long enough to know that it was unavoidable in a relationship with an idol and frankly you didn’t care if your relationship had turned more of you giving and them taking since you knew they would be returning your love soon after their schedules. It was standard when dating an idol.

What changed this time around though was that they were coming home tired and vile. Each night you would make an effort to help clean up the dorm after your job to lessen the work for the staff that cleans their space. Each night you would make an effort to let them come home to a warm and healthy home cooked meal, only for each and every one of them to swipe it under the rug as they open the door with another argument on their lips.

Sometimes it was okay though. Most of the time, they were still your loving boyfriends in the mornings before their schedules. They just would come home tired and silent, barely giving you any attention though you understood that they couldn’t give you much after their tiring schedules.

However, everything came to a halt when news of a beloved cousin’s death rang through your phone one afternoon. Sickness had won and you hadn’t even known they were sick. The same cousin that you’d visit during spring break to help your aunt and uncle’s harvest season on their farm. The same cousin who would teach you new games that Seoul kids never knew, who gave you plenty of advice on highschool and boys, who you practically considered as an older sibling.

The news struck you hard. The boys knew of this cousin to hold a special place in your heart and you had a breakdown when you found out of their passing. If you needed someone to comfort you then you really needed it then, though inconveniently the same day the news hit was the same day the boys had a particularly ugly argument on their new choreography. Everyone had something to say at the dining table and you could only look numbly at the takeout food you had ordered as you still couldn’t process the death on your own.

That brings you to the next morning. Three weeks before the boys go to America for a whole month, and a decision laid heavily on your mind.

[08:59] Y/N: Hey, are you still at the dorm?

[09:00] Namjoon: We just left, princess. We’ll see each other later at dinner, okay?

[9:01] Seokjin: We’ll apologize and make up later, sweetheart. We heard you went home late last night. You should’ve just stayed at the dorm to rest.

No, you couldn’t. You were sure that if you had slept in one of their beds then they would vent to you about their latest argument or perhaps be too tired to even know you were sleeping beside them, so you opted to commute back to your apartment despite the time being eleven in the evening already.

[9:05] Y/N: Don’t worry about it, Jin. I took the day off today, so I could still catch up on sleep.

[9:06] Yoongi: We weren’t worried about that, hun.

[9:06] Hoseok: You should’ve at least let one of our drivers drive you. It’s dangerous commuting late at night, beautiful. And you know that.

You smiled at their caring words, though you were sure the decision on your mind wouldn’t change anytime soon.

[9:08] Y/N: Yeah, I know, but it’s fine though. I’ll talk to you guys later.

You quickly turned your phone off as you rolled in bed. The warmth of the sun shining through your window did nothing to heat up the cold feeling you had inside you, and you were sure that it was about to get colder when you get to the the dorm.

[3 months earlier]

“What’s on your mind?” You asked as Namjoon sighed and took a seat on the patio sofa beside you.

The cold breeze of the night engulfing the two of you though the heat of some Soju the eight of you had been drinking earlier was enough to warm you up from under the blanket you hid yourself in.

After a round of drinks to celebrate the beginning of the boy’s new album release date getting announced, and the soon to be endless practice sessions and meetings they would partake in as they were due to promote mostly in America. You excused yourself and sat on the boy’s dorm balcony to ground yourself before you would reside in one of their rooms for the night.

“Just… scared.” Namjoon answers honestly as he leans back on the sofa and you snuggle up beside him to share your fluffy white blanket to keep him warm. His hand came to rest on your thigh as he drew weird imaginary lines on your skin. It was something he usually did when you’d let him open up to you. His little fidget to calm the rest of his body as he focuses his mind on spilling out of his lips.

“Of what?” You asked softly as your ears were trained to hear any of his worries. You were always lending an ear for any of their vents.

You found that a relationship should always be a balance of listening and ranting. You would rant about your random events at work and some random topic you deemed interesting for a discussion whilst they usually vented to you about their tiresome schedule and music related rants. Of course your younger boyfriends would occasionally gossip to you too, though you considered that more of a past time for you to bond over rather than something that required your attention and ear despite not knowing much about what they speak about.

“Promotions in America are always tiring and difficult. I sometimes feel like I’m not allowed to say my own thoughts on a question because I’m always busy translating for them…” Namjoon avoids your eyes as he continues to keep his head leaned back and looking towards the balcony ceiling.

“But they’ve been working so hard on their English lessons. I’m sure they can help translate and answer in English now.” You reasoned to help calm his worries down though it did little to ease the leader.

“Yeah, but I still have to be constantly tuned in. I can’t slip up, and we’ll have to do it for almost a month straight. We’re leaving you here for a whole month…”

“You’re not leaving me, Joonie. You’re doing your job and promoting your album.” You tried to reassure though the man just looked down to look you in the eyes and you can tell the alcohol was slightly tainting him to be more emotionally vocal.

“Still, it feels like we’re leaving you. We’ll miss your birthday…” Namjoon frowns and you giggle at your boyfriend with a shake of your head.

“Babe, I think I’ll be fine. We can celebrate after you get back home. Just worry about doing a good job and making me proud.” You smiled as the man just nodded at your reassuring words and you let him bask in the silence of the crickets chirping in the night.

You were pretty sure he had even dozed off due to the alcohol and the time reaching midnight, though he immediately sat up straighter and offered to walk you back into the apartment where he opts to retreat in his room earlier than usual though you knew he was just a bit stressed from the planning.

You walked to sit on the sofa of the living room with Hobi. He was seemingly already dozing off whilst catching up on a drama he was watching and you placed your blanket over him as he seemingly opened his eyes a little hazy from sleep though smiling at your affectionate action.

“Wanna watch with me?” Hobi’s voice hums out as you glanced at the television though shook your head and instead leaned down to kiss his peach cheeks that came from drinking too much alcohol than expected.

“I’ll go make sure the three aren’t causing trouble. You rest up.” You whispered softly and the man hummed though he was already snuggling further into your blanket with closed eyes.

You smiled down at him before you took the remote and lowered the sounds of the television down and walked towards the panel of the Smart Home system installed in the apartment to turn the lights dimmer though not completely off.

After that, you walked past the dining room and kitchen to reach a small corridor where you can hear Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook’s laughter reverberating through the walls. After dinner and the drinking session they had excused themselves to Taehyung and Jungkook’s room, which you were sure meant that they would be drinking more considering Jungkook liked keeping a small mini fridge in his room in case he got hungry in the middle of the night despite having their room as the closest to the kitchen.

You knocked on the door and pushed it open to see your three boyfriends sitting on the carpeted floor between Taehyung and Jungkook’s bed with a board game in between them. Their faces turning to you as you flashed them a sweet smile though their faces looked like it was up to something mischievous.

“Hey baby!” Taehyung greeted you with a wide grin as he patted the space beside him for you to sit on.

“I thought you guys would be drinking some more in secret… not playing a board game. You could’ve played outside and the others could join.” You said as you sat criss crossed on the carpet and eyed your boyfriends.

Jungkook sat with a leg brought up his chest and another laying flat as he leaned on the side of his bed. Taehyung also leaned on the side of his bed though he sat criss crossed whilst Jimin sat in between their beds and directly across you with his back mere inches away from the bedside table though he didn’t lean on it.

“They looked tired already… and this game isn’t any normal game.” Jungkook said as you raised a brow at what he meant and looked down on the board.

It looked normal at first glance though when you really looked at the board and its contents you understood why the three had such mischief laced on their eyes. Your eyes then went to one of the pawns standing on a box that said ‘Remove a piece of clothing’ and you quickly scanned the room to see Jimin’s sweater discarded on top of Jungkook’s bed.

“Wanna join?” Jimin asked with this teasingly innocent tone as he flashed you a grin that seemed to challenge you.

Though you really liked the idea of their mischief, you knew that the night had been long and after the celebrations you would prefer to cuddle up with one of your lovers rather than fucking, but the expecting eyes of your three boyfriends were simply too much to reject.

Yoongi had told you plenty of times that you should start standing your ground when the three would be up to trouble though it seems like you can just never say no to the cute faces they give you when they plan something mischievous.

One time, the three of them planned to trick Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hobi by planting something on their computers that made it look like their files had been corrupted. After persuading Pdogg to help them figure out all the technicalities and you to distract their hyungs for a while the plan was on and it did not go well for the three afterwards. The three of your older boyfriends did not take to the prank as funny and had heavily reprimanded the three to stay out of their computers and studios until the end of time, as if it wasn’t already a rule. They also had a ‘serious’ discussion with you about allowing this behavior from them though you had defended them and told them that you weren’t their mother, they were also just having fun and you didn’t see the problem in that. Despite all this, the slight disagreement was fixed with nothing but a soft kiss on the lips of your stubborn rap line boyfriends and a smile that showed your pearly whites before you giddly walked out and into the comfort of the only lover that had laughed with you during the whole fiasco, though his windshield wiper laugh was definitely louder than yours.

“Fine… but I’m not sleeping with any of you tonight. You need to get up bright and early for tomorrow’s practices and I don’t want your staff sending me death glares because I gave you hickies.” You huffed though the three of them only laughed and Jungkook leaned towards you to plant a light kiss on your lips as Jimin handed you a pawn of your favorite color.

“Roll and move the amount of numbers you land on.” Taehyung explained as Jimin said “Simple,” with a pop of the letter ‘p’ in English.

You rolled the dice as it landed on the face that had six dots. You smiled, flashing all three of them a cheeky smile before you leaned and used an arm to support you as you moved your pawn six boxes from the starting line.

“Lucky.” Taehyung mutters under his breath as you assume that the pawn that was a box behind you was his.

“Strip a piece of clothing.” Jungkook says as they eye which part you’d remove, though luckily for you, you had Yoongi’s Fila sweater on. A sweater that he was sure he lost, though you had actually just forgotten to return after he left it at your apartment.

“Starting off easy.” Jimin says as you pull the sweater off from the top of your head, leaving you in a light gray cotton spaghetti strap top and your black and white dolphin shorts.

You thought you were safe, though the way their eyes looked you up and down made it seem as if you were practically naked. A realization dawning on you that you weren’t wearing a bra and the cotton material was probably not hiding much to the imagination. However, you only shook your head at how easily they can be worked up with your presence its as if they are constantly deprived of your appearance.

“I just realized how you rarely stay in the dorm without one of our sweaters on.” Jimin says as you handed him the dice since you don’t know who’s next though he easily forwards it to Jungkook.

“I like it. We should throw away all our sweaters.” Jungkook suggests as you shake your head.

“Your dorm is freezing from the air conditioning, so I would still bring my own sweater if you don’t give me yours.” You shrugged as Jungkook rolled for his turn at the same time Taehyung let out a ‘pfft’ sound.

“As if you even own sweaters.” He rolls his eyes as you flash him an offended face. You did in fact have sweaters that are yours though they fitted you terribly. One was oddly fitted where it was skin tight on your arms though loose on your torso and another reached your knees from a failed attempt of trying to replicate your boyfriends’ sweater size so that you wouldn’t keep borrowing theirs.

You threw your sweater on top of Jungkook’s bed with Jimin’s sweater. As you watch Jungkook’s roll stop on three dots. He reached forward to move his pawn which you now knew was the one ahead of all the other pawns before he landed on a spot that said ‘Safe’.

“Lucky.” The three of you all muttered and you all let out chuckles at how you were so synchronized with the one English word you spoke.

“You all share a brain now.” Jungkook commented as he passed the dice to Jimin.

“We said it with the same annotations and everything.” Taehyung said, somewhat proud at the fact that your minds were all synched, that you had muttered one English word with such wholeness.

Jimin threw the dice as the room quieted down once more and it landed on the face of one dot.

“Ooh, Jimin ah, you’re catching up to me.” Taehyung teased as Jimin moved his pawn one spot forward which made his pawn only four spaces behind Taehyung's and three from yours.

“Dirty talk for 30 seconds.” You read out loud as Jimin chuckled. Dirty talk was his forte, how unlucky for you. You really wanted to get out of this room with the pride of getting the three of them riled up with their shenanigans and you unscathed and sleeping with a goodnight’s kiss only.

“I don’t like counting time. Not when I know I can fuck all three of you all night.” Jimin said with a sultry voice and the sudden demeanor of the air in the room changed as his eyes ridded of the innocent wide look and settled to their siren shape.

“Wanna take Jungkook’s shirt off right now. Wanna see the muscles you spend more time working on than spending time with us. Want you to roll one on your next turn and land on ‘Strip a piece of clothing’ and lose to me, so that I can do whatever I want with you tonight.” Jimin says with his eyes fully taking in Jungkook’s figure though when he’s finished, he immediately turns his head to you and slightly tilts it to the side and lets his eyes run up and down your body.

“You’re not safe from me either. You might not want it now, but I know you’ll give in any other day, and don’t you fucking dare put on a sweater around the dorm anymore where I can’t see your cute little nipples through your shirt.” Jimin says with a grunt to his voice and you let your eyes look down and see how your nipples had perked up to the mention of them.

A slight fluster powdered your face as you realized that Jimin scooted closer to you to run a hand from your thigh to the cloth of your shirt though you immediately grabbed hold of it before it could do anything more than hover over your nipples. You looked into his lust filled eyes as he raised a teasing brow that seemed to beg for you to slap it off his face.

“No touching. It only says dirty talk.” You reminded, as Jimin lets out a chuckle and broke eye contact to look down before he brings his hand back and gathers his confidence back together for Taehyung.

“And for you… I want to remind you just how much I hate it when you forget your honorifics when addressing me.” Jimin leans towards Taehyung now, though he never places a hand on him due to your reminder earlier.

“I’m older than you Taehyung ah, remember that. I’m your daddy—“

“Oh hell nawh! That’s cringey hyung!” Jungkook interrupts as Taehyung bows his head down at the fact that laughter had erupted so suddenly from his throat. The four of you were laughing hysterically by now.

Hey, a daddy kink isn’t cringey. Don’t get Jungkook’s words messed up. More than one of your boyfriends have it and others have something somewhat similar to it and it definitely turns you on.

You guys were just laughing at how unexpectedly Jimin brings it up, and how from the beginning of his dirty talk with Taehyung, the younger already looked purple on the face from how much he wanted to laugh at the fact that you had reminded Jimin of the rules though he held his laughter to not ruin the mood. Jimin’s tone and inflection of the Hangul syllables also already sounded forced too huskily, unlike his normal dirty talking. So when he randomly stops his Korean to say the English word ‘daddy’ was simply more of a comedic script than something to get your lover riled up.

“Okay that was worse than what I could’ve done, but at least Jungkook got pretty riled up.” Jimin says as he leans back on the wooden bedside table as all your eyes point at Jungkook who shifted in his clothes uncomfortably.

“He’s in your mind already, Jungkookie. I can tell you're not winning anymore.” You teased as he shakes his head and shifts his posture to see the board more clearly from his laid back position.

“My turn!” Taehyung states excitedly as he throws the dice and lands on six.

“Yes!” He cheers as Jungkook groans at the fact that Taehyung was now in the space behind him.

“Give the opponent a one minute massage.” You read out as Taehyung turned to look at Jimin.

“One minute is too much! You know who really needs a massage right now?” Taehyung smirks as our eyes land on Jimin, and we all simultaneously agree that this box could be used for some good rather than something sexual for the sake of Jimin and his chronic back and neck pains.

“I got to a chiropractor now. You don’t have to this. Make the game sexual.” Jimin whines as Taehyung gets up and kneels behind Jimin.

As a dancer, it doesn’t matter how much you rest and warm up or cool down properly. Eventually, you will experience chronic muscle pains and the muscles affected depend on your technique. You realized that Hoseok’s technique has him heavily relying on his knees and ankles for movement and therefore his knees and ankles tend to flare up more often. You even give him special massages sometimes when the pain gets too bad though he often tolerates it better by taking a melatonin pill and going to bed to see his chiropractor the following morning. Jimin on the other hand loves to stay up late despite how his body feels. Undoubtedly, the muscle pains worsen through overworking and therefore Jimin handles it worse more often than not.

“Serio—“ Jimin’s words were cut off by a groan as Taehyung’s hand squeezed the skin on the base of Jimin’s neck. Jimin’s head fell limp as it leaned back to relax on Taehyung’s wrists as he continued massaging Jimin.

“Fuck. That’s so good, Tae.” Jimin moans as he closes his eyes in pure bliss.

As Taehyung moved to the different areas of Jimin’s neck and back one thing was becoming more apparent. Jimin’s moaning was definitely not from the massage but rather him teasing the younger by continuously praising him for his massage. A gruffed groan and a sound of silence from Jimin would usually tell you that the massage was good because it would leave him speechless, though with his never-ending moaning it became apparent that it was intentional.

“Yeah, yeah, right there Tae.”

“That’s the spot.”

“Yeah, feels so good~”

“You always know how to hit the right spot, Tae. Such a good boy.” Jimin slurs, as Taehyung snapped back to reality. The pet name was known to be one of his favorites, though it seems like Jimin saying it made him realize his hyung’s intent.

“Stop trying to seduce me, hyung.” Taehyung grumbles as he nudges Jimin’s back as a warning before sitting back down to his spot.

“Ouch! Bad boy!” Jimin scolds as he holds his back before cracking the joints of his own neck.

“🎶Da naeda beolyeo good boys gone bad~🎶” Jungkook sings the tune of TXT’s Good Boy Gone Bad song, as you turn to his direction and sing along the line three more times before Taehyung drops the dice on the palm of your hand makes you stop singing.

“How come you love to sing the songs of other groups instead of ours.” Jimin pouts as he crosses his arms.

“Jungkook ah, are you really allowing this behavior?” Taehyung asks as Jungkook flashes them wide eyes.

“I mean… it’s a good song.” Jungkook answered truthfully as I nodded my head with exaggeration before I rolled the dice.

“They’re your juniors, you should support them.” You reminded them.

“We do support them, but we just want our girlfriend singing our own songs.” Taehyung huffs as you found their slight annoyance endearing.

“Yay!” You cheered as the dice landed on the face showing five dots.

“How lucky are you?!” Jungkook asks as you pass his pawn and land on a box.

“I told you. Jimin got in your head, so you’re all losing to me.” You state proudly.

“French kiss each player for 15 seconds!” Jimin says with a grin as he leans forward as if he was waiting for you to lean in and makeout with him any minute now though your eyes were still busy reading the board.

“Nice one dummy. It says ‘French kiss a player for 15 seconds.” You corrected and Jimin looked at you confused as he leaned back to straighten his posture.

“Would you really choose to kiss only one of us?” Jimin raised a brow. No, and all four of you knew that you couldn’t and wouldn’t choose between any of them even if you were forced to.

“Then we’ll really know who your favorite is.” Taehyung teased as you rolled your eyes.

You wanted to bite back with something sassy and you were sure that they also watched you expectedly for a quick-witted or laugh provoking response though you held yourself back and instead got on your hands and knees as you leaned towards the oldest of the bunch to kiss.

Jimin’s eyes showed how taken by surprise he was at your response. His straight back leaned back and his hands went to the floor to support himself from the unexpected action, though in a matter of seconds he eased into kissing your lips back. Your tongue quickly entered the cavern of his mouth as his tongue did little to fight back due to how much control you’ve gained in the time that took him to process that you were making out with him. You can tell he wanted some control back from the way his posture started to push against you, though as quickly as it began you pulled away and left him chasing your lips for more though you already sat back into position.

You turned to face Taehyung now as he pouted his lips and you leaned forward to kiss him too. Starting with a small peck that elicited a whine to leave throat before you pushed your weight against him and made him lean further onto the side of the mattress of his bed. Taehyung definitely played more passively when it came to making out. It was just how he was most of the time. He was soft and gentle. In simple terms, you would describe him as a man who likes to make love and not to fuck, and to you that was damn fine. However, since Taehyung doesn’t fight for control in a kiss like your other boyfriends, he makes up for the fact that he loves skinship especially when it comes to kissing.

You can feel his hand slightly placing pressure on your back to continue making out with him as the other hovered over the skin of your arm. Both weren’t explicit places though you knew that with enough time that they’d wander, and as soon as the hand on your back began moving higher to your neck, you cut off the kiss.

“Hey, how come his kiss is longer than mine?!” Jimin said as you two broke away and a certain flusteredness came to your face as you realized the two had been watching. You should be used to it now, but it was still second nature to you as if all of them hadn’t seen your most vulnerable parts, even doing it together at times.

“If you kiss Jungkook like how you did to me, then you won’t be leaving this room tonight.” Taehyung warned as you went over to Jungkook’s side now.

The youngest had parted his legs for you to crawl in between with a smirk on his face. You leaned in and kissed him as he parted his lips and a familiar war of your tongues fought. You were pushing your weight on him bringing a hand to his chest to support yourself, though you can feel his hands that were placed on the floor loosen to make a move for your body. You quickly took both your hands to hold his down at the same time your tongue won the battle and a groan elicited from his throat as you parted from his lips.

“Baby~” Jungkook whines and something in your heart tugs to keep kissing him though you risk the possibility of not getting sleep tonight and you can tell your body isn't up to that right now. Your eyes would practically fall asleep right now as the alcohol catches up to you and the three had way too much energy for you to catch up.

“Okay, that’s it. Goodnight boys.” You immediately stood up as their heads immediately followed you.

“Huh—? What? Wait…”

“We’re not done yet!” Taehyung says as he points to the board game.

“We can play another time. I’m really tired right now. It feels like I’m going to fall asleep any moment now. Plus, your practice…” You summarized your reasons as the boys frowned though replied with a synchronized ‘good nights’.

“And don’t stay up too late!” You warned with a double meaning as you heard their laughs from behind the door before you walked out the corridor.

That line really did feel like you were their mother, though in all seriousness you were just looking after them. It was a love language you developed after you learned to appreciate your eldest boyfriend’s care for you.

You walked past the kitchen and dining room as your eyes traveled past the dining table to see that the television was now turned off and the couch was empty. Hoseok had probably taken his leave for his and Jimin’s shared bedroom that was only a few steps from the living room.

You walked past the entrance corridor and onto a silent part of the dorm where Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi’s room resides. You knew Namjoon was asleep though the light noise of a controller moving in Jin’s room and the subtle typing of a keyboard in Yoongi's room told you that your two eldest boyfriends were still awake.

You knocked lightly at Yoongi’s door and a slight breeze passed by you from the air conditioner in the hallway. A dawning realization set in on you as you realized you left Yoongi’s sweater in the boy’s bedroom and you feared that if you walked in now then you'd never come out.

“Come in.” Yoongi says as you pushed his door open softly and closed it behind you. He was on his desk with his laptop open, and a frown threatened your lips as you think that he was working even at such a late time in the dorm.

“Don’t worry, I’m not working. Just making a quick email for my mom.” He says as he turns on his chair to flash you a smile.

“What— I… How’d you know that I would ask that?” You stutter flusteredly from how well he knows you, and the fact that you remind him on a daily basis to take care of himself and to take some time from making music to live life and create stories to write about.

“Love, I know you. We all do. You’re always so caring and sweet. Always making sure that we don’t overwork ourselves.” Yoongi says whilst his eyes take their time to take in the sight of you. You subconsciously took the hem of your dolphin shorts to pull slightly down as if it would hide an inch more of your thighs.

Yoongi raises a brow and offers for you to sit on his lap with the tap of his hands. You huffed, though you still took steps to sit down on him. His black sweatpants and white oversized shirt smelled just like him with a slight hint of alcohol and nicotine.

“I’m not up to it right now, Yoongi. I just left your sweater at the boys’ room and if I enter their room again then I’d probably be wheeled into their dirty adult game again.” You turned to look at him with a pout as he let out a dry chuckle and brought a hand to pinch at your cheeks before planting a quick kiss on your lips.

“I know, love. I can feel that you’re tired, and that’s okay. Don’t let them push you into doing something you don’t want to—“

“What? No no, they weren't like that.” You defended the three as Yoongi nodded.

“I’m just saying… if one of us starts acting like a jerk towards you then there will still be six of us to come talk some sense into them.” Yoongi says as you giggled at that because in truth, none of them could ever be a jerk to you and all of you knew that. They loved and cared for you too much for that, and for as long as they do then they’ll never stoop down to treat you that way.

You leaned your body back to Yoongi’s chest as you sat in silence. Any other time and you would prefer to fill up the silence with some noise though you both prefered to bask in the love of silence. However, the sound of Jin’s gamer rage from beyond the concrete walls and you both chuckled at the oldest member’s incoherent mutterings.

“Now, which sweater did you say that you left in the boys’ room?” Yoongi raises a brow as you flash him a toothy grin.

“Uhm… actually, I think it was Jin’s sweater. I’ll go calm him down right now and tell him about it.” You stood up from his lap as he chuckled at you.

“It better not be my Fila sweater. I swear I haven’t seen it around anymore…”

“It’s not yours! I think it was Jin’s or maybe it's mine. I have my own sweaters too, you know.” You said as you awkwardly walked out the room with the sound of Yoongi’s chuckle being the last thing you heard before you closed the door.

You shook your head as you decided that you’ll eventually get that sweater when they all go to work in the morning. You walked to the door next to Yoongi as you heard another soft thud that sounded like a controller on a soft surface like Jin’s duvet.

You knock on Jin’s door as he hums for any one at the door to enter. You pushed the door to open and take in the darkness of the room that was only lit up by a warm lamp at Jin’s bedside table.

“Jin? Are you okay? What’s with all the noise?” You asked even though it was common knowledge that he often gets vocal when he plays and it has become a running joke around the dorm that whenever Jin loses a match of his games then he’d berate himself recklessly without actually taking anything he says to heart.

‘The Jin Mentality’ was what they coined it as. Similar to ‘Jimin today’ though Jin’s was actually a positive thing. Where you state all your wrong doings and berate yourself instead of hearing others berate you, but at the end of the day since you said all the words you can more freely choose to just not give a fuck about the things you said and deem it as bullcrap.

“Just gaming. You’ll sleep with me tonight?” Jin asks as he pauses his game and pats the duvet beside him as you close the door behind you and walk through his room to sit on the duvet.

“I’m sleeping here tonight.” You corrected as you laid your back down whilst your lower body hangs off the side of the bed.

Jin chuckles at your correction as he eyes you up and down before he returns to his games on the television mounted on the wall. He was seriously the only one of the members to install a TV in their room. A TV that came straight from his pocket though he considers it a big win since he’s the only one that can freely lay in bed and snuggle up to you whilst watching a movie, and it easily compresses any noise from his room considering how close the walls his rooms has with Yoongi and Namjoon.

“Did they tire you out today?” He asks in a more serious note though his eyes continue to flicker on the screen of the TV.

Despite the lack of eye contact and skinship Jin was giving you right now, you knew that his tone was one of sincerity and care. He was the one who had voiced out his worries for you in the beginning of the relationship. He was hesitant at first for this whole relationship to start considering they all somehow wanted your attention more than the other member’s and he was afraid that you’d overwork yourself in trying to be a lover to all of them. However, you quickly shut off his worries when you showed just how easily you blended into their schedules without overworking yourself too much. Though you would always notice how Jin typically doesn’t demand your affection as much when he realizes the others wanted your affection more, so that typically leads you to coming to him for affection as he mostly takes care of you rather than letting you take care of him or yourself.

“Maybe… Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are playing this dirty adult game and I left my sweater inside their room.” You mutter as he nods and hums.

“You don’t have to—“

“I know, Yoongi keeps reminding me, but I actually really wanted to join.” You flashed him a toothy smile as you feel your eyes droop when he looks away from the screen to look down at you.

“You should sleep, sweetheart. I can see your eyes droop.” Jin says as he pauses the game and leans down to kiss you on the lips.

“You too…” You slur as you bring your legs into the bed to properly lie down on the pillows and under the duvet with the help of Jin to tuck you in.

“I’ll sleep once I’m done with this level. I’m not that tired yet anyways.” Jin says as he pecks your cheek with another kiss and brings the duvet over your shoulders just how you preferred it especially because his air conditioner faced towards his bed.

You blinked your eyes once more and shifted to see that Jin had magically teleported beside you with a knitted sweater that you knew was the color light blue with a white whale in front since he always lets you borrow it when you sleep in his room. Somehow the knitted yarn keeps you warmer than any other cotton sweater under his duvet.

You sat up and put on the sweater as the extra material gathered on your waist because you didn’t have the energy to properly pull the oversized fit over to cover your thighs. You smile at your sweater paw as Jin watches you with endearment. You open your arms as he leans in to kiss you once more before he pats your hair and whispers a goodnight. You smiled at him and scooted over to the side of the bed where it was pressed to the corner of the bedroom wall. Jin always made sure you slept on that side with the claim that he didn’t want you falling off though you suspected that he just didn’t want you escaping his room in the middle of the night without his acknowledgment.

You woke in the middle of the night, from a look out the curtains it seems as though it was still late at night though with a glance at Jin’s bedside table alarm clock, you knew that it was nearing two in the morning and Jin was still playing his game.

“Jin?” You asked groggily as Jin turned to look down at you.

“Sorry sweetheart, did I wake you up?” He asked though your eyes only flickered from his face to the alarm clock.

“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” You asked as you held yourself up by your elbows to wake you up more though the sleepiness still loomed over you.

“Ah, shit. I lost track of time.” Jin muttered to himself as he glanced at the time. He exits the game and grabs the remote to turn off the TV as you watched on with a pout on your lips. He was definitely going to wake up with not enough sleep for tomorrow and you partly blamed yourself for not bringing him to sleep when you were going to.

“Jin~ I don’t like it when you don’t sleep on time.” You whined as Jin’s lips twitched to a prideful smile, though he only tucks himself beside you as he engulfs you in a hug.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, you know I don’t mean to. I promise I’ll sleep better tomorrow.” He kissed your forehead as you huffed and turned your back to him though you still snuggled your back to him. His body spooned you as his hands reached under the sweater he gave you. His cold hands settled to play with your boobs through your shirt though it wasn’t sexual.

You found it as his way to get just a little closer to you when you were sleeping. It was his way of showing you affection until the very moment you close your eyes. His hands would occasionally squeeze your mounds like a massage that would elicit a moan from you though you trusted him enough to not make it go further than that.

You woke up from a small streak of light that slipped past the curtains. Jin’s hold on you was looser now and he was lightly snoring as you let both your eyes take in your surroundings before you detached from Jin and sat up. You silently crawled out of bed by squeezing out the foot of the bed since you didn’t want to wake Jin up from his sleep. He needed to get as much rest as he could before his alarm would ring half past seven in the morning and currently he still had thirty minutes of rest to savor.

Before you walked out of the room, you quickly unplugged his gaming station. You figured that Jin had forgotten to turn it off last night and you didn’t want it to overheat. You then walked out the room and silently let your feet walk through the marble tiles of the apartment before you reached the kitchen to see both Hoseok and Namjoon conversing. Namjoon sat on the dining table with a cup of coffee as Hoseok seemed to be busy making his own cup of espresso with the coffee machine.

“Good morning,” You greeted with a yawn as both their heads turned to see you walk into the open layout room.

“Good morning beautiful,”

“Good morning, princess,”

They greeted in chorus as you stopped behind Namjoon’s chair to greet him with a morning kiss on the lips to which he smiled at before you walked behind the kitchen island.

“How did you sleep? I heard the boys were having some fun last night.” Namjoon asks as he watches you greet Hoseok with a kiss on the lips too.

“I only stopped by for a moment. I was too tired from the alcohol and celebrating last night.” You said as you eyed Hobi making a glass of his iced americano coffee. You can see Namjoon nod as he sips his own coffee and eyes the hallway towards his, Yoongi’s, and Jin’s rooms.

“You can have this one, beauty. I’ll make another one for myself.” Hoseok says though you shook your head.

“It’s okay, Hobi. I’m gonna go cook some breakfast for you guys first.” You smile as the man smiles brightly and leans to kiss you on the forehead before he moves to the side of the island to not get in your way.

“You don’t have to, you know. We can just order or call the staff.” Hoseok says though you only shake your head as you eye the contents of the fridge and opted to use some leftover rice to make some Kimchi Fried Rice.

You took out a container of Kimchi that Taehyung’s mother had sent for the boys to share and a tupperware of leftover rice that had been from last night’s celebrations. You also opened up the freezer to find frozen bacon that would be the perfect protein to their diet with added eggs. You placed your ingredients onto the counter before you reached up on your tippy toes to reach the cabinet with the frying pan you loved to use.

“Why do you always love to use this and not the one on the bottom cabinet?” Namjoon says right behind your ear as his hands sneak up to support your waist whilst the other reaches for the pan to get for you.

“My gosh, you scared me.” You said as you turned around and Namjoon smirks down at you before he places the frying pan on the induction stove on the island to heat up for you. You threw a playful slap at his bicep as you stood in front of the stove to pour some oil onto it.

Namjoon’s little playful act of always trying to scare you was one that you could never get used to and to be quite honest, it made you even more flustered at how Hobi had laughed at your shocked face before he continued to sip on his Americano with a bent back on the kitchen island.

“I like using it because it's my favorite color, obviously.” You roll your eyes as you feel Namjoon hover behind your back as Hobi tilts his head at you. He places his Iced Americano down and walks off somewhere behind you though your flustered state had made you keep your eyes at slicing the bacon into smaller pieces.

“Someone as sassy as you shouldn’t forget to bring simple seasonings when cooking.” Hobi says with a teasing voice as he places bottles of salt, pepper, and sesame oil beside you before he leans on the counter.

“Don’t stress her Hobi. Our tired princess didn’t even have fun with the maknaes last night because she was too tired.” Namjoon’s sultry voice speaks with a hint of seductiveness as he says the English syllables of ‘tired’ slowly from behind your ear whilst his hands rest on your waist.

A chill running up from your spine as you focused your eyes on cutting the bacon. Only once you were done with cutting the bacon did you realize that the two men had you trapped with the only escape being walking past the counter that had a sizzling stove.

“Guys…” You try to stop them though Namjoon’s voice has interrupted yours.

“We’re not guys.” He turns your body with an equal amount of force yet carefulness, as Hoseok moves the cutting board with a knife further from the edge of the counter before Namjoon pins you against the marble.

Namjoon’s lips were immediately on yours as your tongues fought in the midst of saliva. Then Namjoon had redirected your body to lean against Hoseoks as the man's hands took you by surprise and gave Namjoon access to your mouth.

“She’s so pretty in between us.” Hoseok huskily says to Namjoon as if you couldn’t hear his voice from being sandwiched in between them.

Namjoon pulls away from the kiss as you make an effort to breathe and compose yourself though Hoseok’s lips didn’t give you enough time as he quickly replaces Namjoon’s lips with his hands directing your neck to press against him. You can feel Namjoon's hand reach from under your sweater to travel under your shirt. His soft large hands caressing your body as he leans down to plant kisses on your neck.

“The stove–” You say as soon as Hoseok’s lips pull away from yours and all your faces turn towards the frying pan that was cooking up nothing but hot oil before a chuckle escapes from the dining room.

“Took you long enough. I thought I’d be the one to break up your makeout session just so that the dorm doesn’t burn down.” Yoongi’s chuckle reverberated through the dorm as Namjoon and Hoseok chuckled before withdrawing every bit of affection they had on you just seconds prior. Their vulgar actions caused a pit to nag at your stomach and a neediness for their lips to hide your now puffy ones.

“Good morning, Yoongi.” Namjoon and Hoseok greeted as they both went back to drink their coffees at the dining table whilst Yoongi came over to peck your cheek as a greeting.

He looks over the ingredients you had laid out before he quickly places your sliced bacon onto the pan to silence the boiling of oil. The chatter of Namjoon and Hoseok at the dining area was enough of a distraction for you to compose yourself from the makeout session and go back into cooking without another word as Yoongi chuckles.

“They're such big teases aren’t they?” Yoongi laughs as the blush on your cheeks doesn't stop you from nodding in agreement.

“Let me help you cook. You’re preparing Kimchi Fried Rice, aren’t you?” Yoongi clarified as you also nodded and he let out a laugh again at how you were struck wordless at such events in the early morning. Nevertheless, he helps you cook as you start to open up more from your flustered state.

[Back to the Present]

God, you weren’t going to cry again. Not when you felt as though you were juiced like a lemon from how dehydrated you were from secreting so much tears from your eyes.

You tried to breathe properly as Jimin sent you a text that they were already heading home thirty minutes ago, though by now you were used to them getting home an hour after they say so.

So here you were distracting yourself from your thoughts by cooking some Dak Kalguksu. From the texts in the groupchat, they seemed to keep good spirits throughout the day since Taehyung and Jungkook couldn’t shut up while hinting at some good news during their lunch break.

It broke you to know that this rare good mood would turn sour because of you. Because now, you were the one that can’t give them the love and affection you wanted to give, and you weren’t ready to receive love and affection in your current mental state.

Their voices rang through the hallway fifteen minutes earlier than you expected and from the sound of it, it sounded more calm as Jimin and Hoseok’s voice talking about new shoes were the ones that captured your ears first while they were leaving their shoes at the entrance corridor.

“Baby, we’re home! And no ones figh—“ Jungkook’s proud voice quieted as he sees your beige white suitcase, the one they had gifted you before bringing you to their trip to Japan a few months ago, at the end of the corridor.

“You brought some stuff over?” Jimin asks as he and Taehyung eye the luggage wearily before pushing past Jungkook to run to the living room and sit on the sofa with a relaxed sigh.

You looked away from the boiling broth cooking on the induction stove as you found a lid to cover your dish. It was just about to finish cooking. You just needed to make the Yangnyeomjang sauce that you knew Yoongi and Namjoon loved to add to their chicken though it seemed like you ran out of time. They would have to make their own later.

You looked up to see Jungkook cautiously eyeing your suitcase as Hoseok pushes him to sit down at the dining table with a laugh though a look that asks you the purpose of the suitcase getting brought out. Even Namjoon asks you of its contents as Jin just raises a brow at it, though seemed less bothered by its presence. Yoongi on the other hand just walked past it and took off his beanie to place on the dining table before he walked to the kitchen behind you to grab some water to drink.

They were still tired and it showed on their expressions, and what you hated even more was that the dorm wasn't even filled with arguing to help burn the fire that pushes you to answer their questions. All that could be heard was Jimin and Taehyung silently bickering on who would get the remote as the rest of your boyfriends sit on the dining table with little words to say to each other.

You cleared your throat and made your way to the other side of the counter where you could overlook the living room and dining room. Okay, this is it.

“I’ve been thinking about this since last night, and I— I hope you could hear me out fully…” You started, though the first part of your statement seemed to go unheard as Jin nodded and seemed to remember something.

“Ah, yeah! Right! I wanted to apologize to all of you about last night. I was being stupid and was just so tired that I wasn’t thinking properly.” Jin says quickly as Yoongi shuts the fridge door and sips on his glass of water on the counter behind you.

“We’re all stupid. We’re getting stupider each night with how exhausted we are when we come home.” Yoongi said as all of them seemed to hum in agreement. At least they’re self aware? Back to your poi—

“Oh baby! We also have some great news to te—“ Taehyung says excitedly as he stands up from the couch and lets Jimin take control of the remote with little to fight because of his excitement, though you really just wanted to rip off the bandaid and tell them your firm decision right now.

“I need a break.” You say loud enough for it to echo around the dorm, or perhaps your words had taken the men in such surprise that their brain had to replay it multiple times to understand it.

You closed your eyes and breathed out as you readied the words that were about to spill from your lips. Everything you had been feeling and how you were initially alright and capable of loving them despite these challenges spilled out of your lips with nothing stopping them.

You told them how through more nights, you were starting to lose yourself in the arguments and how last night you had made up your decision to take a break from them just for a little while. That your mental health needed this and that you would be staying in the provinces with aunt and uncle. That despite your love for them making you want to continue on in withstanding all their arguments, your mind can’t keep up and you need to be wholly ready to be able to give your all in supporting them.

Whatever your monologue was about made the boys scoff, though your voice stayed strong despite the sniffle that you heard Jimin make from the sofa.

“What?” Namjoon says as you look up to see their faces red yet not a single tear has fallen. Somehow that made you relieved. Perhaps they had understood your explanation and agreed with you.

“You’re running away because you can't keep up with our schedules?” Namjoon asks as the table erupts into different voices and opinions, even Taehyung and Jimin walk to the dining room to tell their own account of what they understood from what you said.

“No, Namjoon ah, she said she’s just not mentally well to handle us—“

“Mental health doesn’t excuse you from running away from us!”

“You can’t dump us just when we’re meant to stay focused for our comeback.”

“Hyung, she said break… not a break up right?”

“There’s a difference?”

“You’re leaving us?”

All this noise. Their voices had gotten so loud over each other that you couldn’t even hear your own head to try and get them on the same page.

It was just like every other night. Everyone never saw the same page and that’s how each and every one of your arguments started. No one was learning, no one was understanding, and it just proves that this environment wasn’t the place for you to get yourself back together.

So you left.

You left like a coward. You didn’t make an effort to bring them to the same page, and you didn’t make the effort to explain yourself clearer. You took off without another word with your luggage and everyone was too busy arguing about what you had said to even realize that you had left.

You left them, and you didn’t even know if they would understand that you still wanted to come back. You just needed to fix yourself, but now it felt as though you had broken up.

The boys never talked about what you said after that night. Perhaps they were still silently wishing that everything they heard was wrong and that you really were just taking a one or two day break without communication, or maybe they were too tired and busy to mention it.

They never mentioned how the dorm was silent whenever they got home. They never mentioned that the humming of your voice and the smell of your cooking weren’t there to greet their tired souls anymore. They never mentioned the fact that they knew that they needed to order dinner on the way home because they were silently praying that you were there cooking them a hot home cooked meal.

They never mentioned how your clothes and belongings seemed to disappear from their rooms. How your chargers disappeared from their place beside theirs. How the shirts you stole from them randomly appeared back to their wardrobes freshly washed and void of your smell. How all your skincare and haircare products disappeared from all their bathrooms, and the fact that they didn’t need to call a cleaner as often because your hair didn’t litter the floor after you would be done combing.

They didn’t mention any of it because they hoped you would stick to your words of a ‘break’ though now they were really beginning to question whether or not they heard ‘break’ or ‘break up’.

All of this was kept to rot in their minds until the last week they had in Seoul before their promotions. You would think they would be busier than they already were, but their management actually reverses psychology by busying the boys more in the last month before promotions and then cleaning up their schedules a week before to let them rest and let their anticipation build. It helps keep them excited for promotions rather than overworked.

This was what Taehyung had wanted to tell you about. They wanted to tell you how they were planning on taking you out on a date night before they went abroad to celebrate your birthday early… Now he wonders if they would’ve understood you better if he hadn’t interrupted you enough to make you interrupt him.

“Can we talk? Like all of us actually talk.” Namjoon says as they all sit blankly on the living room sofa whilst their eyes glaze over the show on the television.

“Yeah, I think it’s about time.” Jin says as each of them sat up straighter. Jungkook took the remote and lowered the TV to the volume close to mute as they all faced each other, yet avoided eye contact.

“So, about what Y/N said… let’s all say what we actually heard from her.” Namjoon took the leadership role as everyone nodded and he turned to Jin to start off.

“I was actually really excited when Taehyung wanted to tell her about our surprise that the first few things she said had gone over me.” Jin clarifies as everyone nods in understanding and stays silent to let him continue.

“But from what I heard, she said she needed some time off to get mentally better. I didn’t actually hear anything about what made her mentally break to the point of the situation getting like this, but yeah.” Jin explains as Taehyung furrows his brow to say something though refrains from doing it to avoid any altercation. They were going to have to listen to each other to get this shit fixed.

“She didn’t say what made her need a mental break, but she definitely hinted at the fact that we weren’t making a good environment for her to get better in any way.” Yoongi spoke up as he took it that it was his turn to speak since he was the second eldest.

“I didn’t hear a lot. It was kinda like what Jin said. Except I was so shocked by what she said that her words made sense when you heard them, but never actually processed in my brain. I’m sorry, guys.” Hoseok said as the six of them all nodded. They couldn’t blame Hobi, not when they all seemed to have some sort of dementia from that night. Their brains only process what happened before and after then turning into a mess when they try to recall the during.

“Before our busy schedules started, I talked with her about our schedule. I always did when I knew things would get busier and we couldn't give her 100%, just to give her a heads up to prepare and be aware. So when she said she needed some time away from us, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was running away from us. I already warned her for all of this and it wasn’t like this was the first time she had been with us after such tremendous work, so I thought she finally had enough of us and that this break was actually a break up.” Namjoon stops as his eyes never leave from gazing coldly at the edge of their coffee table.

Everyone was silent. Namjoon’s words always silences them. They were so filled with wisdom and thoughts with meanings beyond understanding that they really do place the effort to listen when it counts. However, none of their eyes could meet each other as they all formulated their own conclusion to what Namjoon was trying to say.

“Now that I think back on it… We were very much in the wrong. All of us. She asked us to listen to her for one last time and we should have taken that chance to properly hear her out and have a proper discussion on what we could do to make her stay… Instead we fought again. We did the thing that she claimed has made this environment with us so hostile that she can’t be mentally well in it.” Namjoon sighs as he feels tears prick at his eyes and all the members come to a silent understanding of everything Namjoon said.

For once in the past few weeks, they had finally silently agreed on the meaning of something, yet it didn’t feel relieving or accomplishing. It felt colder to know that they had done it too late.

“Can’t we still talk to her right now? Beg for her to come back and have a proper discussion with us?” Jimin pipes up as his face looks completely wrecked after the few moments of silence that they took to understand Namjoon’s words. Tear stains littered his cheeks and his voice didn’t seem like it was far from breaking out into a sob, yet he still mustered up the strength to speak his only idea.

“Has anyone texted her after that night?” Namjoon asks as everyone looks up to see if anyone raises a hand, though their hearts plummet to their stomach when no one does.

Everyone had been too pussy to text you. They all thought the other would do it and somehow bring you back to the apartment by themselves, though their reliance had now been their downfall. They were now angered. Angered at themselves for not making the move sooner. It had been two weeks and yet no one made the effort to contact you.

“Fuck, no one?” Yoongi says as he meets each and everyone’s eyes as they all told no.

“Fuck.” Hoseok mutters as he takes a throw pillow and hugs it to his chest before he leans back on the sofa to now point his gaze at the ceiling.

“Shit, do you think she thinks we just let her go so easily? Like we didn’t even text her as an effort to get her back? We just let her sneak out whilst we were arguing about what she sai—“ Taehyung’s rambling was interrupted by his own voice cracking and Jimin patting his back as the man himself looked like he was holding himself back.

“I’m angry. I’m angry at us for not even trying to text her. I’m angry at myself for thinking one of you had texted her already.” Jimin says as he finishes comforting Taehyung to now wrap his knees with his arms in a way to comfort himself.

“It’s not too late…” Jungkook suggests, though the silence that followed the reluctance they all had.

They were desperate to bring you back, but at the same time, you had asked for space and texting you so late into the break seemed like it was a brewing mistake. However, shouldn’t they try to fix their past mistakes by contacting you and showing just how stupid they had been.

“I know what you’re all thinking. You’re thinking that we’re too late. That she had probably made up her mind already about the break up because none of us went to immediately call her, but shouldn’t we at least try?” A tear slips past Jungkook’s eyes as his voice grows weaker, yet he pushes words out his vocal cords.

“Don’t we love her? Isn’t she worth fighting for?” Jungkook buries his head into the throw pillow he cuddled on the carpeted floor as he breaks into sobs that Jimin tried to comfort him out of.

But the youngest of them did speak the most fact. They loved you to uncountable amounts, so you are more than worth fighting for. They just didn’t know if they could still fight for you when they were two weeks late from the battle.

The boys all ate their dinner in numbing peace that night. Not a single argument or tease wanted to roll off their tongue, instead they were just talking. Talking about anything and everything, but the fact that they were missing their eight soulmates, their eighth piece to the puzzle of their small family.

It felt nostalgic watching each other play on the gaming stations they haven’t used in a month. It felt weird to dust off the balcony to sit on the patio chairs that were last used by you and Namjoon. It felt bone crushing when Jungkook went to his cupboard of board games to find something they could play, only to find their game of a sexy adult game on the top of the pile.

They weren’t blind and they all knew something was missing. There was this unmistakable silence when they spoke to each other, a missing note when they laughed together, a missing pair of feet padding around the house.

Jin tried his best to not show how these little subtle things got to him. The fact that there were nights where he gamed way too late despite their schedule because he lost track of time again and had somewhat relied on you to remind him that he needs sleep again. He also ignored the fact that he was currently gaming on the console in their living room instead of the one in his own room because it had overheated after he forgot to unplug it for a whole night. He thought someone else would’ve unplugged it for him, but then again you were the only one who unplugged it for him. These nights he finds himself slowly inching closer to the wall as he sleeps. He finds that the smell of your shampoo on that side of the bed is the only thing that can put him to sleep after a rough gaming session.

Yoongi on the other hand was the opposite to Jin. He could even say that he hasn’t thought about you much, due to the fact that he had been overworking himself restless these past few days. He figured that since he doesn’t have to greet you at the dorm then he could stay at his studio just a little longer and come home with his files in a laptop to continue working at. It was better this way, he would say. He avoided any arguments when they got home, and he kept his mind off you by doing the things that you had countlessly reminded him not to do. Despite managers even telling him to get some rest. He would never listen, and they knew that he wouldn’t listen because he only ever listened to you.

Hoseok, in the meantime had his whole sleeping schedule fucked up and everyone could see how badly it affects him on the daily. He missed how he would elicit a groan from you when he asked you if you’d join him for a morning jog, though somehow you’d still force yourself to get ready in less than five minutes. He missed the way you would let your boisterous laugh out when you were with him. He missed the way you would point at everything and anything when you jogged or went on hikes. He missed you so much that you were the only thing on his mind. The image of your face permanently embedded in his mind, to the point that there’d be times where he’d see you in the reflection of the mirror in their dance studio. He missed you so much in fact that he would enter the dance studio with only half his mind and the boys grew even more worried when they would mess up and Hoseok wouldn’t even bat an eyelash at them. It was as if he turned blind and void. He didn’t care if they were being sloppy with the choreography, as long as he did his moves with effort then it was up to the other choreographers and staff to berate the others on their mistakes.

Jimin, in the meantime, was a complete mess. The others would agree that he was the reason the staff had actually connected the dots of the fact that they were dumped, because Jimin had never looked as swollen as he did the first three days you left them. His low performance during dance practice even made choreographers turn the other way as they knew he was hurting though prefered to say their corrections softly so as to not hurt him more. He looks like he hasn’t gotten any rest and Hoseok knows that he hasn’t because he could still hear him tossing and turning on his bed when he would randomly wake up in the middle of the night. Jimin always had trouble sleeping. It was something that you couldn’t even fix, yet you always helped by taking out all his remaining energy or making him some tea, even the simple action of running your nails on his scalp helped soothe him to sleep. Now the problem had turned ten times worse when you weren’t here to ease him, yet you filled his mind and kept him void from closing his eyes for too long that he might think his vision of you was reality.

Taehyung was similar to his 1995 counterpart. However, his professionalism came on top and he would never even let a glimpse of his sadness show when he was in the HYBE building. It may seem like a good thing, but it really wasn’t far off as he would coop up all his sad thoughts about you until the end of the day where he’d stuff his face with every possible thing in the fridge to keep himself from sobbing, though it never worked. It never worked for when his grandma died or when they were all having a hard time during 2018, so it wasn’t going to start randomly working now. The food he ate could only suppress half of the pain he had inside. He missed you and your soft hair. He missed the way your fingers played with his locks and how he would return the favor by running his own fingers through your soft hair. The smell of your shampoo filling his senses as you would let him style your hair in any braid he had learned to do on youtube. The black hair tie he bought specifically to style your hair still tightly around his wrist. Waiting for you to come back as he finally learned how to do a Dutch braid this time around.

Jungkook, alternatively, seemed to be the least affected member of them all. He went along with his day fine. He joked with staff whenever the others seemed too busy in their heads during a meeting, and he acted oblivious to everything happening. He doesn’t spend much time at the apartment either for his hyungs to gauge how he truly was reacting to the situation. He started getting out more frequently. Some staff members even see him at the other side of Seoul, and when they would ask why he was there then he’d just shrug his shoulders and touch his mask. He’d take a look at his surroundings in case someone noticed that he was the Jungkook and then he would continue on his way. He would spend more time at the Hannam The Hill gym. He started going to more parks, malls, restaurants, and hidden gems in Seoul because he couldn’t bear staying at the dorm, not when you had practically lived and touched every surface of it too. He couldn’t bear seeing everyone upset, so he chose to distract himself with exploration. Perhaps in a different universe he was actually taking you there, he might’ve taken all eight of you there. Maybe, just maybe.

Namjoon wasn’t blind. He saw all of them suffer. He wasn’t blind to how he had suffered either. His lyrics turned more and more angsty as the days went by, and a longing to vent everything to someone weighed on his chest though it felt as though the seven people could vent to were also feeling the same problems.

Namjoon would get up in the middle of the night and walk near every bedroom door in the house. He knew when Jin was still up gaming when it was already two in the morning. He knew when Yoongi was still working on his laptop when he just came home from an extended three hours at his studio. He knew when Hoseok had woken up from a nightmare because of a small gasp that would sound from his and Jimin’s shared room. He also knew how Jimin barely slept because he would toss and turn every few minutes under his duvet. He knew when Taehyung would sneak out of his and Jungkook’s shared room to get a whole bucket of ice cream from the refrigerator freezer, and he knew when Jungkook would silently sneak back into their dorm after taking a mysterious late night walk.

Namjoon knew all of this was happening and yet he didn’t do anything to stop them because he thought this was what they deserved. They deserved this for neglecting you. They deserved to miss you, so that when they beg for you to come back then they would have surely learned their lesson.

“Good night guys, let’s all send a text to her tomorrow afternoon after our short schedule.” Jin says as all of them seemed a little more at ease when they retreated to their bedrooms that night.

Namjoon didn’t hear Jin play his games, Yoongi made his music, Hoseok’s gasp from a nightmare, Jimin tossing or turning, Taehyung sneaking into the kitchen, or Jungkook sneaking in and out. The dorm was entirely silent and peaceful for the first time in a long time.

Though Namjoon’s eyes stayed on one thing… his phone.

He shouldn’t break a plan, but he thought that they all had learned their lessons. What if they all get their hopes up only to call their eighth lover to tell them that they have been officially over for all this time.

He couldn’t bear to see everyone’s hearts officially shatter. He needed an answer now, so that he could at least get himself together by tomorrow in the case that they do get rejected and one of them needs to stay emotionally sober.

[1:27] Namjoon: Hey…

[1:28] Namjoon: I know it’s late, literally and figuratively.

[1:30] Namjoon: We really miss you. It’s been 2 weeks and we’ll spend our last week in Seoul with more time in our schedules. I don’t think we can go do promotions in America if we can’t get on the same page as you.

[1:32] Namjoon: I don’t think I can handle America without you. I don’t even care about management anymore. I just need you, and I would give anything to at least let all of us meet just for a moment to talk.

[1:33] Namjoon: I hope you’re doing well.

[1:34] Namjoon: You have your sleeping schedule fixed!! If the reason you’re not reading this is because you’re resting right now.

[1:35] Namjoon: We love you, princess. We miss you.

[1:37] Namjoon: Text me back when you can?

[1:40] Namjoon: Sleep well

Namjoon sighs. His eyes were starting to hurt and he couldn’t figure out if it was because of his tiredness, intense focus on his phone screen while the lights were off, or if it was from the sting that threatened tears. Whatever it may be, he avoids thinking about it by imagining you. Wherever you may be. Perhaps they should even go to your apartment, though what if you get even more angry? You did say that you needed a break from them.

It was now the afternoon of the next day. The boys had all been driven back to their dorm after dropping by the HYBE building to only get a printed file of their schedule in America.

They all seemed more at peace today. Their car rides felt more restful, though an underlying nervousness crept on its seams. They had all planned to send private messages to you by the afternoon. They knew your schedule, and they could only hope that it hadn’t changed from the last time you told them it changed.

They all sat in the living room as they all took out their phones and formulated what they should say. They were making sure to keep it personal to each of them, not too long, not too short, not emotional, yet not robotic. They needed to let you feel that they missed you without it coming across as overbearing. They wanted you to feel just how much they had learnt from their mistakes. They wanted to meet you even for just a moment.

Jimin thinks that a single glimpse at you could fix everything. It would fix and heal all of them like a drop of magical medicine.

So they all formulated for an hour, as a drama played on the TV despite no one listening to it. They all came together and made sure to say the right things before sending it all at different times. They weren’t stupid. They won’t send it all at the same time. They’ll send it in different minutes, because that’s logical.

[14:21] Seokjin: Good afternoon, sweetheart. How have you been? I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re getting enough rest. It’s almost your birthday soon, and I actually had something planned for it since we would spend it in the states but I don’t know if that’s possible now. I want you to know that I’ll always be here waiting for you. Take as much time as you need, but when things get rough then don’t be afraid to call me or any of us. I love you, sweetheart. Don’t forget to eat well and drink lots of water. Take care!

[14:22] Yoongi: I’m gonna skip the bullshit. I know you have seven more messages to go and read, and honestly we’re all in the living room formulating our messages. This is the first time in weeks that we actually came together to work on something other than choreo and music. It’s damn impressive what our love for you makes us do. We need you back, love. Everyone is miserable without you. Even Hobi has gone to shits. You know I hate talking about other people or what you call it as ‘tea’, but I think this is something I would actually ‘spill’ to you about. Just come home. Come back to us. We miss you and will always love you. No matter what. If you need any help mentally, emotionally, or physically. We are just one call away, so please don’t be afraid. Don’t run away.

[14:23] Hoseok: Hey beautiful… stuff isn't too good right now hahahaha. I miss you by my side. I haven’t been jogging lately and you know how my ankles get when the only movement they do is intense dancing and walking. I need my jogging partner back, or if you don’t want to jog then we don’t have to. I just need someone to annoy, early in the morning. Jungkookie isn’t reciprocating my love of annoying him either. I think he’s been going to the gym more often because his muscles are definitely stronger than they were two weeks ago, so it’s kinda scary annoying him in the morning when his biceps alone could send my head swinging. The dorm has been unbearably clean too. No one’s making a mess like you do, so I have no one to berate. I can’t believe I’m saying this right now, but I miss your loose hair strands littering our shiny floor. I just realized that it definitely made the dorm a home instead of a shiny marble tiled showroom. God, I miss you. Just stay safe and I love you. Text us back whenever you can.

From: Your Hope

To: My Hope

“Namjoon hyung, it’s your turn.” Jimin says as the six of them look towards their leader though he only lets out a meek smile.

“I already sent her a few messages last night.” Namjoon smiles as the boys look at him with shocked faces.

“What?! Without us?!” Jungkook says.

“I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t send it right then.” Namjoon shrugs as everyone understands and even thought that it could make the chances of you responding better.

[14:25] Jimin: Hi babyy, miss you. I know how you should always put yourself first, so I’m not going to ask you to come back. Not when you feel ready to get totally pampered by all of us. When you come back I’m going to kiss you everywhere that you’d probably have to detain me to keep me off you. We haven’t even finished our game yet. Let’s play again sometime soon okay? And my gosh, there is so much gossip you’re missing out on right now. Text me back when you get this ‘cause I need to vent all the info I learned from one of our new makeup noonas. Stay well and take care! Love you mwah mwah! Gossip soon!

[14:26] Taehyung: Babyyyy! Did you know the HYBE cafeteria was selling your favorite meal last week?! It was perfectly cooked and seasoned, I swear! I’ll tell them to serve it again soon so that we can both judge whether it's better than the place that we usually get it from. Speaking of which, I heard our favorite frozen yogurt place had opened a branch near Hyochang Park, so we should definitely give it a look soon! Have you been following the fashion trends still? There’s this ridiculous trend on pants that I’ve been seeing and both me and Hoseok have agreed that it sucks, but we’re still wondering what your thoughts are on it. It sucks when we don’t have your opinion to help us see more than what we see in our funnel vision. We really really miss you. I love you. Don’t get sick and try to get back to us when you see this!

[14:26] Jungkook: BABBBBYYYY!!! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??? I MISSED YOUU, WE MISSED YOU! Yoongi hyung said that we needed to make our messages deep and meaningful, but really I just want to say one thing and it’s that we’re sorry. We really are. And I know Jin hyung specifically told us to not beg for you back because you needed time and space to yourself, but please come back. It hurts when you’re not here, and no matter what I do it doesn’t go away. Let me take you somewhere when you get back. I know a place where you can scream out all your frustrations and feelings so that you can feel better mentally. I know a place Taehyung hyung had been eyeing for a while, maybe we should go there together. It’s some frozen yogurt place that I know you both love and it’s near Hyochang Park and a hidden attraction of Seoul that I heard from Mingyu. We’ve gotten better too! Less arguments when we can all agree that everyone just misses you. It’s kinda funny cause if I can replay one moment in my life then it would be that night. I should have listened to you rather than arguing with my hyungs. I should have listened with both my ears fully tuned to you because now we’re all in this stuck and confused area where we don’t know whether or not we’re on a break or we broke up. Like that’s something so important to know, but we’re not even sure what we are to you, and we were too scared to even message you immediately after. We don’t even know if you got home safe that night, and it hurts me to know that we’ve been neglecting you like this for so long. You’ve been with us through multiple comebacks and you’ve taken it all with no complaint until now. Please, don’t break up with me— with us. Just come back. Come home, please? We know where we went wrong now. It hurts and I don’t think it’ll get better unless you’re here with me— with us.

After they all sent their messages they had opted to watch a movie together, whilst all their phones laid face up with their volumes on high in case you’d respond to one of them. However, as the day got later and staff came knocking to deliver their dinner, no messages from you came through to any of their phones. And when everyone had gone to prepare dinner, Namjoon took a look at his phone to see that even his messages from last night hadn’t been sent.

Had you blocked them? Or changed your number entirely? Shit, he really doesn’t want all of them to come over to your place to beg you and get into your personal space, but if you had blocked them they’d have no choice.

“Guys, did your messages even get sent? Mine aren’t going through to her for some reason. Did she block me?” Namjoon asked and the boys never missed the dejection in his voice when he said the possibility of getting blocked by you.

Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook left from helping set up the table as they went to retrieve their phone from the coffee table to open and see their messages.

“Yeah, mine didn’t send either. It just bounced back.” Hoseok says as the maknae line quickly enters their passcodes to see it for themselves, each of their faces saying the same thing.

“Did she block us?”

“She wouldn't, right?”

“She wouldn’t have blocked us if she didn’t properly break up with us.” They all said synchronously as Jin and Yoongi looked up to see the commotion and sent a look towards each other.

“No, you know she doesn’t do blocking shit.” Yoongi cuts in to defend your name as Jin clears his throat. The look they sent each other was to defend you, though he prefered explaining it rather than swearing it on their faces. They were at more peace with each other than they had been for a few months and the reason you needed a break was because of the countless arguments they had, and the negative environment they created. It was counterintuitive to argue over you, when the reason you left was because of arguing.

“What Yoongi meant to say was that we all know that she wouldn’t block us. Remember when that friend of hers had said multiple bad things behind her back and we told her to block them, but her sweet soul just couldn’t? She sees it as ‘rude’, so the fact that you guys are accusing her of blocking you means that you think she’s rude. Do you think she’s rude?” Jin asks and the room falls silent as everybody knew you wouldn’t block anyone no matter what they did to you.

“Besides, she needed a break not a break up. You don’t block people when you’re on a break.” Yoongi adds.

“What if she did break up with us and we just didn’t understand her properly.” Jungkook says as his eyes seem lost in his own mind.

“Or she’s slowly easing us into a break up… like she knows it’ll hurt us if she did so suddenly then maybe after a few weeks of this break she breaks up with us?” Taehyung speaks out as the room stays silent.

Everyone wanted to defend you. They wanted to tell Taehyung that he was wrong and that you loved them too much, though they were out of proof to tell him otherwise.

Hoseok sighs as he eyes the table that had been set up with takeout food the staff had brought for them. “Let’s just eat. Maybe she’s just somewhere without signal or internet today.” Hoseok says as he was the first to walk to the dining room table with Jin and Yoongi.

“Yeah… or maybe her phone broke.” Namjoon follows as the maknae line glances at their phone before leaving theirs on the coffee table with the rest of the phones.

“Hunger makes us overthink, right?” Jin laughs awkwardly as the rest nodded though the question of your whereabouts remained on their minds

Three days. They had three days left and the hope they had in you receiving their messages decreased by the days. The nagging for them to drive to your apartment grew and not even the eldest of them could stop the temptation. The only thing stopping them was how the staff kept a closer eye on them to avoid any unnecessary injuries or scandals to arise right before the promotions began.

They thought that they would go to the States and do their promotions with the question of when you were coming back nagging in their minds, though their prayers were answered this Wednesday afternoon.

The boy’s were separated in two black vans. Three on one and Four on the other since they only spent five hours at the HYBE building today and had none of their personal assistants with them. Everyone was preparing in packing up and getting ready for four weeks of promotions in America, yet all of the boys held on to the little hope that they could see you before then.

Jungkook sat on a van with his sleeping Yoongi hyung and a Namjoon hyung that was typing away a message to send to his personal assistant for the products he needed to be bought from the grocery stores for their trip. Jungkook on the other hand just enjoyed sitting behind his two hyungs as he watched the buildings pass by the window. His phone was in his pocket and his head leaned on the glass of the window as nothing but the wheels turning and the engine working sounded in the van.

He was sure he would fall asleep any moment now, though the light vibration from his phone on his pocket had woken him up from dozing off. He took out his phone and checked the message as he was expecting his own PA to ask him for a list of things he needed. He even had a list written on his notes app already, so all he needed to do was copy it and paste it into their Kakaotalk chat.

However, a message from his PA was not what made his phone buzz. It was you.

Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat. Multiple beats. It felt like he was having a heart attack at the way the sound of his heart pumping was all he could hear as he tapped on the message notification you sent.

[17:35] Y/N: Jungkookie, why are you all sending such long messages?? You know I hate reading long ones 😭

[17:36] Y/N: I just got back to Busan city. Let me read your essay first, so that I can respond.

[17:37] Y/N: It better have good grammar HAHHAHAHAH.

You were laughing? Did you seriously laugh when… well you haven’t read their messages yet, and from the look on Hoseok’s face it seems like you haven’t responded to theirs yet either. Jungkook figured that his message was the one sent the latest since he was the last to send his, therefore he would be on top of your chats.

What did you mean that you just got back to Busan city? Why were you in Busan? Why are you so chill and laughing on chat? And why were you cracking jokes on how his message is so long that it could be an essay? Jungkook just couldn’t understand and his mind was simply too shocked to even tell his hyungs anything, so he waited.

He waited until he saw your bubbles appear to indicate you were typing something, and he watched when it would disappear for a while before coming back to type some more.

[17:47] Y/N: What the hell?! Jungkook, what do you mean break up??

What a short response after you seemed to have been typing for two minutes. Jungkook didn’t know what to respond. He was in shock, or maybe he was having a ture heart attack. He was dying or perhaps he was already dead, and his mind was playing hopeful games on him.

[17:49] Y/N: What do you mean Yoongi and Jin said something-something? I have to get to my hotel first, but we’ll talk about this later. Only us, I don’t like Jin and Yoongi telling you what you should or shouldn’t say. What are you guys doing?

You sounded strict despite messages not explicitly holding emotions, and suddenly Jungkook had to swallow a lump stuck in his throat. Hotel? Will you actually talk about the message later or are you saying that to avoid talking to him? God, he shouldn’t be thinking about this when he knows you wouldn’t do that to him or any of them. So instead he replied with a simple ‘okay’.

Typical Jungkook, because he was always one to be simple in his texting.

Jungkook waited. Patiently, he waited. Until the hours of the evening and when the members had planned to game in the living room. Jungkook waited with patience. After Yoongi excused himself to have some time alone, Jungkook also followed and claimed he wanted some fresh air because all this waiting was silently creeping up to his bones and muscles.

He could feel himself fidgeting and he knows Jimin sees it too. He should have probably told them about how you have internet now and probably read their messages, but something about the way you said ‘Only us’ made his tongue stuck in his throat. It suddenly felt like this was his first time talking to his crush and not his faithful partner and love of his life.

He walked around the hill for a few minutes with his head buried in his hoodie and a cap hiding his face under the stars of the sky. He was trying to calm his nerves.

Why was it taking you so long to get to a hotel? Why were you in Busan? You had no family in Busan, so why are you there? Since you’re talking to him does that confirm that you didn’t break up wi—

A buzz came through his phone and he almost dropped it as he took it out of his pocket to see that the notification had your name on it. He breathed out a breath of cold air first before he pressed it and read your message.

[20:07] Y/N: Jungkookie, sorry it's a bit late but I had to take care of some things before I could talk to you.

[20:07] Jungkook: Don’t worry about it, baby.

Jungkook’s breath hitched as he realized that he might’ve been overstimulating you by calling you ‘baby’ immediately. What happened to taking it slow and making sure they were there for you, so that you can determine that they care about your mental wellbeing?

[20:08] Y/N: Can we call? I need to talk to you properly and my fingers are tired from typing.

Jungkook chuckled as he sent a thumbs up emoji before he accepted your audio call. He placed the phone against his ears as he was about to say ‘hello’, though your voice beat him to it and greeted him first.

“Kookie?”

Your voice felt so foreign, yet sweet and melodic. Something he had yearned for too long that he could cry knowing all the nights he wished he heard it one more time. Your voice carried weight, though Jungkook’s mind went blank at comprehending any cues. Your voice held worry. Why were you all sending such long messages and why was Jungkook hurting?

Oh shit, was he crying? His mind finally caught up after getting lost in your voice. Something wet rolled down his cheeks as his nose sniffed and you repeated the call of his name.

“Yeah, baby. I’m here.” Jungkook responded as another tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t do much to stop it, but to sniff his nose.

“Are you crying? Are you alright? What did you mean in the message? About Jin and Yoongi telling you what to do in your messages with me, and you hurting? Why are you hurting? Who hurt you, baby?” Your voice said in chorus, however it carried all the care that Jungkook had longed for in the past weeks.

Jungkook was fully sobbing into his phone now as he sits himself on a nearby bench, scared that if he doesn't sit then his body might collapse. He doesn’t really know why he was crying. I mean he finally got his wish of hearing your voice one last time, yet the care you had in your tone and your endearment through your words made him realize just how much he missed your voice.

“Jungkookie, I need you to calm down okay? Who’s there with you? Are any of the boys there?” You asked as Jungkook shook his head. No one was here. That’s what he liked about walking around Hannam The Hill at night. Usually people would be inside eating dinner or resting now, and they had the tightest security that not even his favorite food deliveries could enter and would require a staff member to pick the food up for them instead and deliver it to their dorm.

“No… I’m— I’m out for a walk right now… I missed you…” Jungkook whispered the last part more so to himself, though you heard it clear as day.

“Kookie… can you explain to me thoroughly what you meant in your message?” You asked softly as Jungkook forced his sniffles away to tell you everything.

He let it all out. About all his hyungs and him wanting to apologize to you and how much they’ve struggled without you. How they were all miserable during their practices, yet they all sucked it up for the promotions.

He told you how Jin would come out of his room with eyebags from forgetting to sleep because of his games, and how Yoongi already had three songs in the works because he was overworking himself day and night again. He told you how Hoseok wasn’t doing well with the choreography and didn’t even care when the members got something wrong. He told you how Namjoon had been an overthinking mess and was practically observing all of the boy’s moves. Namjoon might think he’s sneaky, but Jungkook is aware of the fact that the leader stays up until he gets back to the dorm after his adventures. He told you how everyone in HYBE has a little clue that the seven of them were dumped because Jimin came in with the most swollen eyes that night you left. He even joked how Jimin must’ve told you something about the new gossip in the building, but left out the fact that they were part of the topic in hand. He told you how Taehyung had been getting really careless with the stuff he eats, and that he had even tried out some new candies from his hyung’s cravings that were stashed in their bedroom mini fridge.

He told you how their fighting stopped when they didn’t have to sit down on the same table to eat dinner. They didn’t have you to gather together for, so what stopped them from eating in their rooms? He told you how they had their first agreed discussion because the subject of the topic was you.

He told you everything and he knew his hyungs would call him a snitch afterwards, though he didn’t care. If they weren’t going to beg for you, then he would for the rest of them.

“Jungkookie… I— I…” You were at a loss for words as you took in what he said and opened up another tab to see all their long messages.

“That’s why we need you back, baby. It hurts. It hurts me to see them like this, and it hurts me more to know that we’ll forever be incomplete.” Jungkook said as swallows a lump in his throat to stop his emotional rant. If you broke up with him now then at least he knew he did his best.

“Jungkook ah! Did yours get seen too?” Taehyung’s voice shouted as soon as his eyes landed on the youngest member entering the dorm through the entrance corridor. The other six men in the room turned to see what the youngest would answer.

“Huh?” He asks as he removes his mask and walks to where his hyungs sat in the living room.

“Has Y/N seen your message already?” Jimin says as Jungkook eyes all their opened phone screens. He checks his own phone and sees that his long message did get seen and nods as he eyes the rest of the men.

“Wait! Mine just got seen too!” Taehyung jumps up from his seat as he shows his phone screen to everyone. Jungkook lets out a small chuckle to himself. His hyungs reaction to getting his message seen was so different from his silent heart attack. Taehyung’s smile never looked so bright despite the unsureness of the situation.

“Baby, called me earlier…” Jungkook breaks the ice as all his hyungs turn to him with curiosity in their wide eyes.

“When?”

“What.”

“Huh??”

“Earlier?”

“What did she say?”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

The boys spoke synchronously as Jungkook closed his eyes and tried to roughly summarize the events of the phone call.

“Baby, saw my message earlier in the ride back to the dorm and told me we needed to call privately—“

“So that’s why you were so fidgety and walked out.” Jimin interrupts as Namjoon takes this statement seriously and sends an even more intense glare to the maknae.

“I didn’t intend to keep the call secret, that’s why I’m telling you now…”

“You tried to hide the fact that Y/N saw your message already when I asked you. Do you call that being honest?” Taehyung bites back a little angry at being left out at some very important information, and he wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

“No, I—“

“Jungkook ah, you are going to be honest with us, won’t you?” Hoseok speaks up as Jungkook’s eyes widens and he was about to tell everyone that he would be completely honest to them. However, a few more boys spoke up about Jungkook’s honesty.

“Can we really trust him? He has been sneaking off lately…”

“Jungkook, this isn’t just something to be light about. We need every detail honestly as it was, because this isn’t just about your relationship with her, it's ours too.”

“I can’t belie—“

“God, can’t you guys listen for once?! I’m telling you that I’ll tell the truth, but you haven’t even let me speak for once. Was this how we treated Y/N that night, because I’d definitely leave any moment now.” Jungkook’s loud voice spoke as the room went silent. Jungkook takes a breath in to clear his mind before he continues. It didn’t matter if his hyungs took his words seriously now. He just wants the events out before any altercation.

“Baby called and said something about spending some time in the provinces outside Busan with her aunt and uncle.”

“With her favorite cousin?” Hoseok asks as Jungkook nodded.

“Yeah that one. That’s why our messages were getting bounced back. She saw mine first when she finally got signal because mine was sent last, and she said she’d call me and talk about it ‘cause I kinda went overboard with my message…”

“I knew you wouldn’t follow what I said.” Yoongi massaged his forehead, though gestured for him to continue.

“Yeah… I continued to not listen to you in the call either because I kinda dumped everything I’ve noticed us do without her and begged for her not to dump us…” Jungkook straightens his lips as he thinks back at how he got carried away exposing their weakest parts in a phone call.

Jin slaps his own forehead and Yoongi’s jaw drops as he contains his emotions by closing his eyes. Namjoon and Hoseok had their mouths open as Jimin and Taehyung looked at the youngest like he was crazy, though turned to each other to help keep their chuckles held back as they could already imagine your face when Jungkook vents out.

“Jungkook ah, what exactly did you tell her about Jin hyung?” Jimin asks as he leans on his elbows from his seat on the couch. Jungkook looks down at where Jin sits at the edge of the couch furthest from where he stands and swallows.

“I told her about how Jin hyung plays all night and forgets to sleep…” Jungkook’s voice was meek though it was enough to send Jimin and Taehyung laughing to lean their head at the back of the couch.

“And what did you tell her about Jimin?” Jin challenges as Jimin snaps out of his laughter and stares into Jungkook’s soul.

“I told her about how the entire HYBE building knows we got dumped because Jimin hyung came to work with the most swollen eyes…”

“Yah! Were you looking for a fight?!” Jimin threatens as he stands up with a fist ready to fake a fight, though they were all silenced when Hoseok’s serious voice speaks from the laughter of Jin and Taehyung and pulls on the fabric of Jimin’s shirt to sit him back down on the sofa.

“How did she respond to your confession?” Hoseok asks as Jungkook drops his head to gaze at the floor and all the members’ hearts sink to their stomachs. Fuck, what else would elicit that reaction if not the news that they were truly dumped.

“She said that she wanted to meet us, so that she could talk about it face-to-face.” Jungkook says as Namjoon carefully runs his hand through his hair.

“Talk about what?” Namjoon asks as Jungkook shrugs his shoulders.

“Jungkook, be honest.” Yoongi warns as Jungkook looks up to meet all their eyes.

“I asked her what she wanted to talk about but she just said that we’d talk about it then. All of us will go. If we can…” Jungkook says as Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon collectively look at each other with furrowed brows.

“Right, we’ll meet with her tomorrow, and beg her to come back!” Jimin says as if it was the most absolute plan.

“How do we know that Jungkook is telling the truth? What if this is some sick joke?” Taehyung speaks up as Jungkook looks offended at the statement.

“Would I joke about something like this?” Jungkook asked as the room silenced, though the sound of their phones buzzing got all their heads turning towards their phones.

A message from you.

[20:59] Y/N: Jungkook told me everything and I saw your messages. Let’s meet up sometime soon? I’ll be in Seoul by nine in the morning tomorrow. When are you guys free?

Everyone had quickly jumped to their phones to begin typing a response, though Hoseok quickly halted everyone.

“Are we even free tomorrow? Weren’t we supposed to have a meeting over our visas and papers for America tomorrow? We have less than three days.” Hoseok voices out his worries as Namjoon licks his lips and looks at all the boys that had their eyes on him. His brain has already begun formulating a plan that would satisfy all of them.

“I’ll message management and reschedule our meeting in the evening. Y/N comes first.” Namjoon says the last sentence as a fact that they all agree on as messages in response to your message flowed through their group chat.

The date was scheduled and some relief filled all their bodies. However, none of them were sure if tomorrow’s meet up with you would bear good or bad news.

You entered the restaurant that you and the boys both loved going to. A familiar staff of the restaurant leads you past regular tables to their private rooms. It was uncommon to have private room bookings early in the day, especially on a weekday so the restaurant was fairly empty and you were led to one of the largest private rooms the restaurant had.

Although your time helping out your aunt and uncle after your cousin’s death had been healing, and gave you closure from the untimely death, that didn’t mean that you hadn’t missed your boys. Your seven lovely men that you loved way too much for it to be healthy.

You thought about your actions and partly took the blame for walking out so abruptly, though when you read their messages and heard from Jungkook everything that they had been doing without you, you couldn’t help but feel a little angry at how they clearly were relying on you to take care of themselves.

That’s why you called to meet them. You were sure the break would last at most a month and spending time away at the province had healed your mental despair, so you weren’t about to ignore them just as they’ll leave for promotions. Namjoon said it himself, he can’t handle America without you as a support system and surely the boys need someone to help ground them too, but that doesn’t mean that they can let go of themselves just because you weren’t there.

You knocked on the traditional wooden door before you slid it open and peaked your head to see the seven boys staring at you with wide eyes as they stood up from their seats. You took a step into the room and closed the door behind you. Part of you had expected all of them to jump at you, though they all stayed in their spots seemingly cautious of your presence as you turned to face them.

They were wearing relatively relaxed outfits as you didn’t even get to change from your train ride from Busan. You wore denim high-waisted baggy jeans with a gray fitted long-sleeve top with a puffer jacket of your favorite color and a beanie that matched it. A standard outfit, though it made you feel a bit overdressed when you see that Jungkook and Hoseok were wearing literal shorts.

“Hey… sorry I’m a bit late. I ran into some traffic on the way here.” You smiled at them whilst you removed your coat and beanie. Jin had immediately come to your side to help take your coat and hat off to place to the side whilst greeting you with a cautious kiss on the cheek to which you smiled at.

“No worries, we just arrived too.” Namjoon smiles, though the rest of the members knew for a fact that they were here half an hour early just in case you were early.

You observed that the table had exactly eight seats. Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Namjoon sat on the left side and Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin on the right side. The only available seat being the one in between Yoongi and Jin, so you slowly walked towards it. Each step reverberated against the walls and it was starting to feel suffocating in the large private room.

“Someone please talk, this is getting awkward.” You spoke with a chuckle at the end as the men all laughed and Yoongi greeted you as you reached your seat.

“We just missed you, Love.” Yoongi says timidly, though as his hand snakes its way to your waist and you make no move to inch away from it, he warms up and flashes you a smile and kisses your cheek. His lips were warm and soft on your cheek and two kisses from your eldest boyfriends instantaneously placed your heart at ease.

“I think ‘miss’ as a word doesn’t describe how we felt.” Hoseok says behind you as you turn to greet him with a hug next. Your arms slotted right around his torso as his arms wrapped around your waist and he leaned down to place a peck on your forehead.

“Baby~ we want kisses too!” Taehyung says from across the table as you turn to face them and their whole side of the table quickly walks towards your seat. They seemed more at ease now that you hadn’t shown any hint of being uncomfortable or overstimulated from their words or actions. However, there was still an underlying emotion under their eyes that you couldn’t quite identify.

Once everything was settled you all sat down and let your eyes roam over the food on the table. Plates of meat circled around the grill in the middle of the table. Small plates of side dishes and other dishes scattered for everyone’s access. It reminds you of the small pack of biscuits you had eaten nearly five hours ago since you had slept the entire train ride from Busan to Seoul.

“Let’s eat first? I think everyone’s hungry.” Jin offers the idea to everyone as you just noticed that he had been eyeing you hungrily taking in the food on the table the entire time.

Everyone hummed in agreement as you watched them slowly take some meat to place on the grill. Your hands joined them as you swallowed and looked around to see if any of them would start talking.

“So… How come you’re free right now? I thought you’d be busy with last minute preparations for promotions.” You said as you took a tong and placed some meat on the grill, though Jin was already beating you to it and took the first cooked meat on the grill to place on your bowl.

“That’s what I actually wanted to tell you about that night. We wanted to have dinner with you before we went to America. Something like celebrating your birthday in advance.” Taehyung says as before he chews on a gimbap.

A sudden realization hitting you as all you needed was a night of being back to normal to get mentally better. Perhaps if you were patient enough….

“I’m sorry abou—“

“You did what you had to.” Yoongi cuts you off as you turn to look at him. He leaned back on his chair with his arm laid on the back of your seat.

“I think Jungkookie has told you everything already, so you would know that breaking up with us taught us a few valuable lessons.” Jimin says as he drinks on a glass of coca cola and throws a glance at the youngest labeled ‘snitch’.

“What? Break up?” You asked as you furrowed your brows and looked around the table to see that the boys all looked at you with varied expressions of looming sadness

“Yeah, you said you needed a break but really it’s easing us to a break up. We’re not stupid baby.” Taehyung says a bit tense, though Jimin’s hand on his shoulder had eased him to calm down a little.

“What?! I never and will never think about breaking up with you. Unless you guys want to.” You said as you looked at them in disbelief.

“What no! Never!”

“Never, baby!”

A series of disagreements filled the table as they all silenced when Namjoon’s authoritative voice bloomed amidst the sea of uncompensable words.

“We were meant to beg you to stay with us during this meal. What do you mean you aren’t breaking up with us?” Namjoon says as you chuckled and threw your head back to rest on Yoongi’s arm.

“God, no. I said I needed a break. I was mentally exhausted after my cousin died, that’s why I went to the provinces for two weeks and got some needed healing and help out my aunt and uncle. You guys were always tired so I figured you also needed a rest from me.” You said and the boys all collectively blinked at you as if they had finally gotten to the same page as you. However, a looming sadness washes over them as they process the news of your grievance.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t understand me from my explanation that night. Were we not on the same page for almost three weeks?” You asked as Hoseok cleared his throat.

“Beautiful, you are our rest.” The lead dancer said as Jungkook raised a finger to pipe in.

“We were somewhat on the same page…” Jungkook says as Jimin and Taehyung nod to support his statement.

“We knew you needed mental rest, but we all got convinced by Taehyung that you were eventually turning this break into a break up. We didn’t— we didn’t know about…” Yoongi trails off from beside you as you abruptly stop leaning on his arm and catch his eyes with a hint of grief with you.

“God, you guys are stupid. Namjoon, did you really leave them to think like this?” You ask towards the leader as he just shrugs and keeps his eyes on the food in his bowl.

“No wonder you were all miserable. Why didn’t you at least contact me— ah shit, I’m part to blame too. I shouldn’t have walked out on you guys.” You said more to yourself as they shook their heads to dismiss your apologies.

“It’s not your fault. We just weren’t listening. We were too busy being full of ourselves and fighting. We didn’t know you had to grieve by yourself.” Jin says and you massage your forehead with a hand that leaned on the table as silence engulfed the table once more.

“I’m so sorry for your loss…”

“We all are sorry…”

“H-How did it even happen? They were so young.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it right now…” You said silently as they all watched as you shook your head whilst rubbing circles on your forehead. You let out a chuckle though it wasn’t one that they could laugh with.

“I wanna focus on this funny mess. I mean… at least you got your fighting sorted, that’s what Jungkook said to me last night at least.” You said and their lips spread into a smile and some even let out a chuckle and a nod of their heads. You were done grieving and you practically spent two weeks of grieving, so you really needed something else to think about. And the topic of your dumb miscommunication and stupidity seemed like the best distraction.

“Don’t think that I’m not mad by everything Jungkook told me. Jin, you ended the message you sent me with ‘take care’ and from what Jungkook told me, you were barely sleeping because you’ve been gaming too much again. Yoongi, you know how much I hate it when you overwork or bring your work to the dorm even after hours of working in your studio. I can’t always be there to remind you to take care of yourselves.”

The men that sat on either side of you pouted at you though your face stayed stoic.

“I’m disappointed. Now, I can’t even show my face in HYBE because everyone thinks I dumped you and if you don’t do well in your promotions then the blame is on me.”

“It’s not your fault, baby.” Jimin says comfortingly though you send him a glare that quickly quiets him.

“Is it true that the gossip you were teasing in your message is about us?” You asked as the man forced a smile and sent glare at Jungkook as the younger avoided eye contact from everyone.

“I’m going to sort this out somehow. I just need you guys back in shape to perform.” You shake your head as you pick up a piece of pork to chew on and the table goes silent once again.

“You know…I’ve been thinking for a long time and I feel like this would be the best moment to ask for it, but do you want to go to America with us?” Namjoon speaks up as all eyes go to him and to you.

You were taken aback by the question. It was one of the few rules that management had for your relationship with them and now they were asking for you to break it.

“We missed almost three weeks from you and it feels like we’ve missed everything, and it’s almost your birthday so why don’t we celebrate it there too?” Namjoon was smiling as you stared at him like he was delusional.

“Joonie, as much as I want to, your management would—“

“If you’ve read my message then you would know that I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck if the media sees us. I need you, and I speak for everyone if we haven’t gone abroad and thought about how it would be if we went to those places with you. We can book you a ticket from our personal money if we have to. We’ll sort out your accommodations and everything. All you need to do is say yes.” Namjoon asks as all eyes settle on you.

You swallow a lump in your throat and weigh out your options. If you were caught then your name could be out there, and were you ready for that? But they all looked at you with such hope in their eyes and the sound of exploring new horizons with the loves of your life seemed like a dream. They said it themselves, you were their rest, and it seemed like the best way to catch up on some needed loving.

“I just came from Busan, I’m tir—“

“Y/N, it’s a yes or no, please.” Namjoon says and you swallow with a nod as a smile creeps up your cheeks. The boys began smiling brighter right as you said ‘yes’.

“I’ll get it sorted then. We have a meeting later and I’ll bring it up.” Namjoon smiles as the dinner table erupts with cheers and it breaks off to conversations about what they’d be doing there during their free time with you.

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darkserenity24 · 13 days

Text

𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒔 - 𝑪𝒉 2

Loki x Reader

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘓𝘰𝘬𝘪’𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦.

𝘈/𝘕: 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘰! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 😊

𝑳𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔/𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 🌙 ☀️

You woke up in a cold sweat, your heart beating wildly in your chest. With closed eyes you sat up in your bed, taking slow deep breaths and not moving until your heart rate slowed to a somewhat normal pace again.

Glancing over at your alarm clock, you read the bright white numbers on the transparent screen. 3 am.

Throwing your head back, you let out a lengthy sigh and slowly got out of bed, shivering before tightly pulling on a fluffy robe and shuffling out of your bedroom towards the bathroom. You were still getting used to the new space that the team had set up for you but it was still taking some time to adjust to it all. You’ve only been out of the clinic for about four days now, but it felt as if it was just yesterday.

You’ve been cooped up in your brand new spacious and way too luxurious room since you returned. Dr. Cho gave you clear instructions on continuing to rest and only getting up for a few minutes of exercise, so the team made sure you did just that.

They left you alone for the most part, Nat and Wanda checking on you periodically while Sam and Bucky provided you with the most dramatic version of room service you’ve ever experienced. You missed everyone dearly and couldn’t wait until you had enough strength to get back to your normal, everyday life.

You found it odd how tired you still were but after your last conversation with Dr. Cho, you could guess why. As shocking as her news was to you it was also not something you wanted to focus on at the moment. Was it pretty serious? Yes, but there was no way you were going to let it control your life. Her news only made you want to work harder. Live harder.

Of course, you were still going to follow her instructions and do as she said, but you weren’t going to let it plague your mind every hour of the day, and you weren’t going to let it stop you from living a normal life. No one but yourself and Dr. Cho knew about your condition and it was going to stay that way if you could help it. She was bound by doctor-patient confidentiality and you certainly were not going to open your mouth about it to anyone else.

You liked your life how it was and you wanted to keep it that way. You weren’t going to let anyone start treating you differently because of something so small. They were already waiting on you hand and foot like you were some kind of damsel in distress because of the incident.

You received emails from Dr. Jan letting you know she was available to schedule more therapy sessions whenever you were ready to get back into it. You hadn’t even told her about the nightmares you’ve been having since you got back home.

They were more than just dreams, they were a mix of real memories and new fears. Bloody faces and rough hands that squeezed you so tightly your bones cracked. They were vivid and quite terrifying but what made it easier for you to deal with them was that you understood why you were having them. It was just your mind trying to cope with the recent trauma you experienced.

After your bathroom trip, you walked out into the small living space of your mini apartment, only to pause in the middle of the room when you thought you heard a sound. Your body immediately tensed as your eyes slid over to the door that led into the hall.

Jacob is gone. Jacob is gone, you told yourself as you stared at the dark shadow that appeared from underneath the door. The fact that no one had knocked made you feel more on edge because someone was clearly there.

You nervously stared at the shadow on the other side of your door for another minute before slowly creeping closer toward it. Once you got close enough, you stood on your tip toes to peer out of the peephole, preparing to see who the stranger at your door was, only to be met with the sight of an empty hall.

Frowning, you crouched down to the floor trying to catch the shadow again, peeking underneath the small opening but seeing nothing but the hall lights reflecting off the pristine flooring.

You stood on your feet and ran a hand tiredly over your face, shaking your head.

“What am I doing?” you muttered to yourself, convinced that your drowsiness was the reason you were seeing things that weren’t there.

You trailed back to your room and immediately got back into bed, staring at the vase of red poppies sitting on your vanity before you eventually passed out.

******

When Tony had called to invite you to a meeting, you hadn’t expected it to be so soon but you guessed they were in some sort of hurry. Or maybe they just wanted to get it over with. Bad news was hard to keep from a person.

Everyone was gathered in the meeting room before you entered. They looked like they had been in the middle of a very tense discussion as you glanced around nervously.

They all greeted you as you took a seat, and your eyes eventually settled on Tony.

He sent you a smile. “Thanks for joining us, black bean! As glad as I am to see you up and running again, I need to apologize for interrupting your much-needed rest for this.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay, Tony, really. I’m perfectly fine to come back to work. I’ve had plenty of rest and don’t need to stay locked up in my room forever.”

“I know, I know, but obviously your health and well-being come first. Everyone can agree on that for sure, but it’s just this one thing we can’t agree on that’s caused me to summon you.”

Steve crossed his arms and sent Tony an intense glare. You raised your brows skeptically.

Tony ignored Steve’s visible irritance towards him, only focusing on you. “So, basically-.”

“Tony, Thor, Sam, Wanda, and I think we should keep Loki here on Earth while Steve and the others think he needs to be sent back to Asgard.” Nat interrupted, causing Tony to now be the one sending a glare in her direction.

“Excuse me, madame death spider, I was trying to break it to her in an easier way where she could understand the full extent of things.” He groused.

She scoffed. “What’s not to understand? That’s what this is all about. It’s the reason that you dragged her all the way here.”

Sam looked over to you. “To be fair, I’m not for it but I’m not exactly against it either. Clint and I are Switzerland, okay?” He said raising his hands in defense. “Steve, Bucky, and Bruce think that Thor should pack Loki up and Bifrost on out of here.”

“Hey, I never said that!” Bruce interjected with an offended look before turning to you. “All I said was that it wasn’t a great idea for him to be walking around in the same space as me. That guy knows how to ruffle my feathers like no other.”

“Thank you for your opinions, but she doesn’t need to hear any more announcements from the peanut gallery.” Tony contended. “What we need is for her to make her own decision based on what she knows.”

He turned to you, looking slightly uncomfortable. “You… trusted him. You also just went through a completely terrifying situation that may have changed your perspective, and I need to hear your thoughts on this matter before we make a decision.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as you glanced down at the table, avoiding everyone's gazes.

“You’re putting a lot of pressure on her, Stark.” Bucky voiced out, and you looked up at him in surprise. “Loki saved her life, we all know that. It’s clear that he’d do anything to keep her safe,” He shook his head, expression hardening. “But it doesn’t change the fact that he murdered three men in cold blood. I haven’t seen anything like that in a long time and I don’t think we should continue to keep him here just to possibly see it again.”

“Barnes, do you truly believe my brother is going to run around murdering people on your planet?” Thor asked and Bucky gave him a hard stare.

“Yeah, he’s done it before, hasn’t he? No matter how much you think he’s changed, this latest catastrophe just proved that he would do it again. Especially if he was motivated for the right reason,” Bucky glanced back at you.

Your eyes widened as it dawned on you what he was saying. His words caused a million thoughts to run through your mind all at once. Did he truly think that Loki would go on a murder spree just for you? And was he wrong to think that? You didn’t know how to feel about that.

Your gaze flitted over to the quietest person in the room who still had the loudest presence. Steve still had his arms crossed as he silently glared down at the table. Everyone had spoken for him but he had yet to speak for himself. It’s not like you didn’t know his stance, but you still wanted to hear what he had to say about all of this. He was still your friend and you trusted him.

“Steve?” You called out to him quietly. He looked at you from beneath his lashes before giving you his full attention.

There was no question on what you were asking him so you didn’t have to say much more. He glanced down, face contorting into a multitude of emotions before he looked at you again.

“We covered up a murder,” Steve said lowly.

You could both hear and see the apparent discomfort of every single person in the room. Some were better at hiding it than others, but they all heard Steve’s words loud and clear.

You swallowed, feeling uneasy, solemnly looking at him as he continued.

“In fact, we covered up several murders, and everyone wants to pretend like what we’re considering here is something normal. There is no question about whether him defending you in that situation was right or not. Of course it was, but I don’t condone what he did to those men. He murdered them and put the responsibility in our hands. We had to clean it up by lying to the public.

“We are the Avengers,” he spat, looking around the room. “We don’t lie to civilians and fight for terrorists, but somehow we find ourselves doing just that, and for the person who made it clear that he’ll do whatever he wants regardless of how it affects those around him.”

“Yeah, you’re right, but we all know why we’re doing it, including you,” Tony said, looking pointedly at Steve. “We’re not hiding this just to cover for Loki and you know it. You hate the guy, I get it. We all did at some point but when it comes to her,” Tony pointed towards you while still meeting Steve’s gaze. “We’ll do anything to keep her safe, and if that means saving Loki’s ass too, that’s what we’re going to do without hesitation. Now suck it up and move on Cap, because that’s what the rest of us will be doing.”

The room was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. The air was tense, and no one said a word as Steve and Tony faced off, glowering intensely at one another before, surprisingly, Steve was the one to back down.

He looked at you again, really looked at you, searching your entire face and the tiredness in your eyes.

He bit the inside of his cheek and he closed his eyes. Shaking his head, he opened them again before taking a deep breath.

“I’ll respect whatever decision you make. It’s your choice, angel.”

It was the next day when you found yourself roaming the halls of the tower in the middle of the night. It was 4 am this time, and you had been startled awake from another nightmare. You were still a bit shaken and a tiny bit grouchy for not sleeping throughout the night, but at least you were making progress.

Instead of staying cooped up in your room, you decided to take a walk around the tower. You headed to the kitchen in the common area, remembering that one of the drawers was stocked with Wanda’s nocturnal herbs and spices. A cup of warm tea and some peace and quiet seemed like the best way to relax until you were able to sleep again.

You opened a cabinet and pulled out a mug, mindlessly going through the motions of warming the tea kettle and waiting for the water to heat up. You leaned back against the counter, crossing your arms while staring blankly into space, flinching slightly when you heard the sharp whistle of the kettle.

Turning the heat off, you poured the steaming liquid into the cup, keeping the tea bag inside and carefully lifting it into your hands. Turning to make your way over to the window, you looked up from your cup, only to immediately halt your movements. Startled at the sight of someone before you, you gasped sharply and the mug slipped from your grasp.

Before the ceramic could hit the hard marble floor, it quickly disappeared in a green glow before appearing back on the countertop undisturbed. You stood wide-eyed, staring at the person in front of you in perturbment.

Concentrated green irises stared back at you edgily as he stood only 6 feet away. It was odd seeing Loki anywhere but inside of his cell, but considering that it had been obliterated into pieces, you assumed that he was being held somewhere else.

Him roaming freely about the tower had certainly not been what you expected.

He looked somewhat different. His body still held a tenseness but his features were absent of their usual sulleness. His midnight curls were a bit shorter, neater. Instead of wearing his usual Asgardian garb, he was clothed in what looked to be normal human clothing with touches of his princely heritage. They weren’t anywhere near as glamorous as the Asgardian ones but on him, they looked just as rich and well-crafted for his figure.

The dull fluorescent lights you were used to seeing him bathed in were no longer, the now warm lighting causing his pale skin to emit an ethereal glow.

He looked… beautiful. Nothing about him screamed normal and it never would, however, he no longer looked as if he was ready to go into battle at any moment. Yet, his new clothing did not take away from his astonishing height and vigorous presence.

You both stood there observing each other in the dead of night before you finally found your voice.

“You… your seidr’s back.” You whispered, barely remembering how the dangerously hot mug almost crashed to your feet because of your clumsiness.

He visibly breathed in at the sound of your voice and pursed his lips, gaze flitting briefly over towards the mug that sat on the counter.

“Yes… it is. At least a majority of it,” He glanced back at you, eyes running down your robe and pajama-clothed form before meeting your gaze again. “and you look… well. Safe.”

You smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good. That’s excellent to hear.” His tone was genuine. “I did not intend to intrude in your space. I should leave,” He glanced away.

“Um, you don’t have to. This space is open to everyone. You were probably here before me but I just didn’t notice.” You picked up your mug once more, slowly facing him. “I-I should probably just go back to bed.”

You caught the immediate disappointment in his features before he could hide it. “I suppose that is probably for the best. It is quite late.” His mouth opened as if he was hesitating to say. “Or you could stay here for a bit longer if you’d prefer. Would you like to take a seat?” He gestured over to the sofa by the window.

Your eyes trailed to it and snapped back to him apprehensive. You didn’t know why the thought of sitting with Loki simultaneously elated and frightened you. You didn’t like or understand the feeling.

You swallowed with a nod, agreeing to his offer. Taking a seat by the large window that overlooked the city, you bit your lip anxiously as you inspected the mug in your hand, breath hitching when you felt his presence as he sat only a few feet away from you on the other side of the sofa.

Both of you sat still, taking in the quietness of the early morning hour. It was still dark outside, but you knew it wouldn’t be long before the sun started to make an appearance.

“Perhaps this is not the most appropriate time to say this, but I do want you to know that I am sorry.” He said softly.

You turned your head to look at him from the corner of your eye.

He was quiet for a moment, staring ahead of him. “I am sorry for what you had to witness.” he breathed. “You should not have been subjected to… what I had done. I never wanted you to see that part of me.”

You stayed quiet, running over his words in your head.

“I wish that… that I got to you first. I should have taken care of you first, but I was so bloodthirsty.”

Even through the warmth of the robe, you felt the hairs on your arms rise.

“What he did, what they were doing to you was not something I could just let go of. I knew that once I got my hands on those disgusting fiends they wouldn’t ever see the light of day again.”

You lifted the cup to your lips, swallowing down the now semi-warm liquid as you closed your eyes. When you opened them, Loki was no longer on the other side of the couch. He was right next to you, looking at you with a hint of longing within the depths of his jade pools.

He moved his hand slowly towards you, causing you to flinch and lean away from him before you knew what you were doing. Your eyes widened as you stared at him, surprised by your own actions.

He retracted his hand eyes filling with sadness as he looked down and swallowed. “You’re afraid of me.”

“No,” you promised, quickly trying to come up with a reasonable excuse. “No, I-I just… I think I just need a little time to gather my thoughts.” It was partly true.

“My mind’s still a bit hazy. I’m still trying to come to terms with everything around me. I still trying to settle into my new room as well.” And your new nightly self-medication routine per Dr. Cho.

Loki faced you with a nod of his head. “I understand. This must have been quite jarring for you. But I do want to profess that I am here if you ever need me.” He searched your eyes. “Whenever. It does not matter for what. If you require my presence I will be there.”

He looked down at his lap. “But I also understand if you need some… space. Away from me. I will grant that as well.”

You mulled over his words, giving him a small nod in acknowledgment. You didn’t know what your friendship would be like now that things had drastically changed, but you knew that you’d both figure out how to navigate things soon enough.

You pulled your feet under you, making yourself more comfortable as you turned towards the window. Your body shivered as you gently placed your hand on top of his, taking in how warm he was.

You heard his breath hitch, but he didn’t make a move. You both sat there for another hour in complete silence, just watching the sunrise.

And as peaceful as it felt, something in your gut was telling you that it wouldn’t last for very long.

The next time you saw Loki, you noticed the black device wrapped around his ankle. It was thin and not very bulky like many of the ones you’ve seen before, but you knew exactly what it was. It was a safety measure and the thing that allowed him to roam about inside the tower.

You observed how everyone eyed him in some form of suspicion or another. Thor seemed to be the only one in the room practically bouncing with excitement. He could barely hold his joy, and it seemed to radiate off him. His elatedness was contagious and you found feeling a bit more positive about this meeting than you were beforehand.

Loki, on the other hand, you couldn’t exactly grasp. He sat next to Thor, face devoid of any emotion. You assumed he also didn’t know how to feel about any of this, so he was trying his best to protect his outward appearance. Unfortunately for him, you didn’t think that mattered.

If glowering at someone could be used as a weapon, Steve and Bucky would have burned a hole straight through Loki’s head by how intense they were staring at him.

Wanda smiled sheepishly at you, and you watched as she discreetly nudged Steve’s side under the table, causing him to break his stare. He looked questioningly at her then at you, sobering his face into something less severe.

Tony eyed Loki before loudly whispering to Thor while jabbing a thumb out towards his younger brother. “Did we have to include him?”

“Yes, of course we do. Loki would greatly benefit from being a part of these conversations. They are about him, after all.” Thor whispered back just as loudly.

“I guess but what if he gets angry and decides to annihilate the whole room?”

“Stark, that will not happen. He promised me that he would be on his best behavior.”

“And you believed him?”

Thor nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes, partly.”

A loud clearing of the throat was heard from the dark-haired Asgardian in question, causing Thor to slowly lean back in his chair with a guilty look on his face and Tony to roll his eyes.

“Well, this is awkward,” Tony began in a normal tone, and Sam let out a snicker that was cut short once Bucky elbowed him.

“Now that we’ve established that Professor Snape here will be staying on Earth, for now, we need to plan out where we’ll be storing him and what he’ll be doing because, buddy,” Tony gave Loki a pointed look. “You can’t stay in this tower for free. You need to work for your newfound freedom.”

“Really?” Loki raised a dark brow at the billionaire. “and here I thought you were preparing to throw me in the dungeon again for another ten years.”

Tony tilted his head, “You weren’t down there that long, but we can certainly have that arranged if you prefer that.”

“Try it and I’ll arrange something myself just for you.”

It had only been two minutes into the meeting and it was already going downhill because of Tony’s snarky comments and Loki’s inability to let them slide.

Much to your relief, Thor leaned forward, interjecting himself into the conversation with an awkward laugh. “Stark, what Loki is trying to say is that he has the utmost gratitude towards you and everyone else for allowing his stay on Midgard.” The blonde-haired Asgardian sent his brother a pointed look. “Because of this, he is looking forward to doing whatever he is tasked with in order to prove his worthiness.”

“Mhmm,” Tony narrowed his gaze, turning from Thor to Loki. “Is that right?”

“Why did you not just ship me back to Asgard you oaf?” Loki sneered at Thor. “It is clear that no one desires me here. Take me somewhere I can do some real work. Our people need me.”

Thor frowned. “Brother, I do not mind bringing you back to our realm, however, it is not just my decision to make. The Asgardians are not, eh, very excited for your return.” He scratched the back of his head. “I made a deal with the Valkyrie that you would continue your stay here for as long as it takes until you prove you are ready to return to Asgard and help lead our people.”

Loki did not look very happy about that, tearing his gaze away from Thor with a sour look on his face.

“Since we all know that will likely never happen, at least not in my lifetime, we need to figure out something else for you while you’re stuck here.” Tony leaned forward, crossing his hands together. “The issue is that we have no idea what to do with you. You’re not exactly a team player and you have little to no intuition to work for the good of humankind, so you certainly won’t be going on missions with us. Anyone else has any thoughts?”

Everyone looked around the room at each other.

“Come on, I know there’s gotta be something we can do with him. Bruce! How about we send him to the lab? He knows about all that alien tech stuff. Remember that magic staff he tried to hypnotize me with?”

Clint's jaw dropped immediately. “What? No! Unlike you, he did in fact, hypnotize me and made me do some awful things. Why would we want him anywhere near technology? The guy could turn a fridge into a spaceship if we let him.”

Loki smirked but didn’t say anything.

Bruce agreed. “Yeah, and no offense, but there’s no way I’m letting him into my lab. He’s kind of…” Bruce glanced at Loki who was eyeing him intensely. Instead of finishing his sentence he looked back at Tony and swirled a finger around his temple.

You were one hundred percent sure Loki understood what that meant.

“We could get him to cook for us!” Sam voiced out, causing everyone, including Loki to look at him as if he were insane. “What? We don’t have a chef and it could be a good hobby for him, you know, to find his inner humanity.”

“I have no inner humanity.” Loki deadpanned.

Nat scowled at Sam, ignoring Loki. “And what happens when he tries to poison us, Sam? That’s such a terrible idea. Are you even trying?”

You completely understood where Nat was coming from. Sam’s suggestion was quite ridiculous, but he did say something that piqued your interest.

Everyone was arguing back and forth about what to do with Loki as he sat there in the midst of them, looking annoyed and bored out of his mind.

In order to save him from having to sit there any longer listening to everyone talking about him as if he wasn’t there, you decided to finally speak up.

“I think I have something that could work.”

Tony shushed everyone as he turned to you. You felt Loki’s curious gaze set upon your form as if he just remembered you were also in the room.

“Considering it was my responsibility to monitor Loki’s progress and keep him on the right track while he was still in the cell, I think it makes sense for me to continue doing just that. I can get him acclimated to how humans live their lives here. I’m sure it's not exactly the same as Asgard, but that could help him learn how to better serve his people when he eventually returns to the palace. You guys are busy literally saving the world and all, the least I can do is jump in and handle this.”

“Absolutely not,” Steve said sharply. “This is different from when he was in the cell, and we all saw how that ended. We are not putting your life in the hands of a murderer. I won’t allow that to happen, angel.”

You caught Loki’s face as he eyed Steve carefully. He wasn’t necessarily upset, he looked… pensive. Calculating even.

“That’s not all that happened. What I saw was Loki saving her life.” Wanda voiced out, surprising you and everyone else. “What he did was not great, but we’ve already been over that. He needs a chance to move on and show us what he can become, show us who he truly is, not what he used to be. What better person would be able to help him do that than her?”

If Steve didn’t believe Wanda’s words, you sure did. It was as if she plucked them straight out of your head. She wasn’t touching you at the moment so you doubted she was actually reading your thoughts, but you don’t think you would ever understand the extent of her magic. Regardless, she said exactly what you were too tongue-tied to say yourself at the moment.

“Lady Maximoff is correct. If Loki is to listen to anyone, it is lady bean. She is giving us an opportunity that would benefit us all. If this recent tragedy taught me anything, it is that my brother will protect her with his life. He is not likely to betray her trust, so we should instill our own trust in her as well.”

For a moment, Steve said nothing but eventually, he did give a small but reluctant nod. Thor was right, Loki wouldn’t hurt you and he did trust you more than anyone else here, maybe even more than his own brother.

No one, including Steve, could deny that.

You glanced over at Loki, nervous to see how your proposition affected him. He appeared to be a lot less tense, no longer looking to be quite so annoyed, but you could still tell that he was on edge. This meeting was a lot for him.

“Well,” Tony uttered, throwing a hand in the air. “I got nothing else. Can’t really beat that. I say let's do it. We have nothing else to lose.” He threw Loki one more suspicious gaze. “Hopefully. I’ll make sure to upgrade the systems and have JARVIS keep a severe- I mean secure eye on him.”

Turning back to you, Tony nodded, giving a proud grin. “Let’s do it, black bean. He’s all yours.”

Story Masterlist

✦ 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘰. 𝘙𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 ;)

✦ 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘒𝘰-𝘧𝘪 ✨: 𝘩𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘴://𝘬𝘰-𝘧𝘪.𝘤𝘰𝘮/𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺24

𝘛𝘢𝘨 𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵: @aintnooooway @mischief2sarawr @talesofadragon @cass0419 @lcolumbia1988 @timeladyrikaofgallifrey @echo-is-worth-more-than-2000

#loki x reader #freedom and chaos #loki fanfic #loki x female reader #loki x y/n #loki x you

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