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fandom-blackhole · 1 year

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Can I get some hurt/comfort with Joel. ❤️ you can choose whatever scenario

You can get whatever you want my lovely anon <3. I hope you like this! Sorry it took me so long, school keeps me busy and I got a little side tracked with my GoW obsession lol. Thanks for the request!

Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS for both tlou p1 and p2, just spoilers in general, not edited, reader has no gender or physical description, no y/n

WC: 1.8k

Summary: Reader comforts Joel when he comes back to Jackson.

You didn’t know much. You knew that Ellie had left in the middle of the night, not saying a single word to anyone and only taking a horse and a few supplies with her. You also knew that she had left a small note behind for Joel to find, and once he had, every drop of rationality in his body flew out the window as he flew out of Jackson on the back of his own horse, his own supplies and weapons haphazardly packed. You’d watched him leave with an ache in your heart, a feeling of foreboding gripping your very being.

And you stood there watching the long closed gates that Joel had disappeared though. You’re not really sure how long you stood there, worry etched on your features, no one bothered you, just walked past you as if you were merely a statue, cold and frozen. Of course, at some point you heard the tell of whispers behind you. They weren’t good whispers however, you could make out just enough to piece their conversion together.

“How long have they been standin’ there,” Tommy’s voice carried over to where you stood. The second voice hesitated, but once they spoke up you recognized it as a local named Chris, you assumed he was probably on guard duty for the day.

“Since Joel left. Hasn’t moved a muscle. I’m not even completely sure they’ve blinked.”

A tired and concerned sigh followed before Maria’s voice answered, “Thanks Chris, you can return to your work now. I’ll go talk to them. Tommy, think you can take care of things without burning the town to the ground until I get them settled?”

From the corner of your eye you watched Tommy lean down and press a quick kiss to Maria’s temple and reply, “I can make no promises, but I sure will try not to.”

You heard more than saw Tommy leave as your gaze focused back onto the gate. You knew deep down that both Joel and Ellie were going to be gone for a few days at least, but you couldn’t pull your eyes from the wooden frames. Something also told you that both of them would come back unharmed, at least physically, emotionally you weren’t so sure. Something was going to be shifted when Joel and Ellie got back, for better or worse you weren’t sure.

So as Maria’s hand came to rest on your shoulder, you looked to her with a half hearted smile, one you knew she could see through. She did not acknowledge it however, instead she only gave a small knowing smile of her own and offered, “How about we go round up some lunch for ourselves?”

---

A week passed, and a few more days on top of it. Each day you found yourself taking the long way to and from your daily work around town just so you could pass the gate, and with each disappointing pass your heart squeezed in worry.

They're both fine, if anyone can survive running around out there it's Joel and Ellie, you find yourself repeating in your head over and over in attempts to overshadow the doubts and anxieties that have kept you up at night and have you zoning out while working during the day. Tommy and Maria have often had to come and break you from your thoughts, both showing their worry for you and sharing reassurances, but each time your heart aches and whispers saying, they'll come back but they aren't going to be the same.

And you can't break the anxious cycle. So here you find yourself now, curled in the corner of your faded and worn couch, eyes fixed across the room on the mantle of your unlit fireplace, on a small wooden duck carving which Joel had gifted you while almost bashfully brushing away your praise at his craftsmanship. You could still see the light dusting of red across his cheeks as you had told him how much the gift meant to you. Now though, as you looked at the carefully carved feathers, your eyes started to swim, your anxieties louder than any reassurance tonight.

You sat there for awhile, night long fallen and light disappearing from the room and limiting your view of the room, of the carving. You now you could stand, could cross the room and turn on the lamp that stood there and brighten the room once more, but instead you find yourself unwilling to move, unable to even let the tears clouding your eyes fall. Repeatedly you tell yourself to just move, to go to your room and at least lay down and try to rest.

The calls to rest finally started to settle deep in your bones. The exhaustion of very little sleep over the last few days cause you body to sag and limbs feel as heavy as they truly are. So with a sigh to muster what little energy you have left in your creaking joints, you slowly unfurl yourself from the corner of the couch and start towards your room. You find yourself pausing at your door frame though, as the soft sound of footsteps on your porch reach your ears in the deafening quiet. You stand there, ears searching for more noise and holding your breath and just as you have made up your mind that your sleep deprived state has managed to get out of had and made you start to hallucinate, that is when a hesitant but sturdy knock echoed from your door and you find your mind quiet for the first time in over a week as you slowly approach your door and pull it open.

There standing there with his head down and shoulders slumped you find Joel. When you open the door he lifts his head enough to meet your gaze, and in those swirling hazel eyes you find a broken and sad man, and you find that in the shock and worry of seeing such an emotion on Joel’s face energy fills your tired body once more.

"Tommy…Tommy told me that I should come tell you I made it back. He said that after I'd left in a rush you'd been in a constant state of worry over me n' Ellie," Joel manages to say, his voice obviously thick with emotion and tiredness.

Without a word, or much thought, you stepped aside and motioned him to come in. Joel hesitates for a moment at the threshold but crosses into your home.

"Sorry if I woke you," he says as you walk over to turn on the light you'd been trying to convince yourself to turn on for most of the night. You just shook your head at him and gave him a tired smile, "You didn't."

Quiet surrounded the two of you after that, both standing on opposite sides of the room and both unsure how to broach the thickness standing between the two of you. Eventually, after a few too many quiet moments, you find yourself unable to resist the draw towards Joel. So gently and slowly, you take a few cautious steps towards him until you finally find yourself standing in front of him.

"What happened Joel," you gently whisper.

It seemed whatever composure Joel had had at that moment was broken by your soft question. A single tear dropped from one of his eyes and he opened his mouth to try and speak, but all he could get out was a stuttered, "I-i…i…," before his head dropped and he shook his head, his chest rising and falling with silent sobs.

Heart in your throat, you reached out and cupped both sides of his face bringing Joel to look at you once more. You didn't say anything, knowing it better to just wait and let Joel speak for himself, so you wiped his tears away as he leaned into your comfort for a sense of support with closed eyes and you watched the strong man crumble in a way you never thought he could.

"I've lost her…I've lost Ellie, and I don't think she'll ever forgive me," Joel finally manages to choke out once his tears stopped only a few minutes after they began.

Heartbreaking at his sorrow, you continue to rub soothing circles into his cheeks until he opened his eyes and met your own.

"Joel," you whisper full of worry, "what happened out there?"

He stared into your eyes for a few moments, his thoughts flickering across his eyes as it was clear he was grappling and hesitating with something, but eventually he only shook his head with a sigh and pulled back out of your hands. When he finally spoke again, his voice was clearer, closer to what it usually sounds like, less emotion slipping through the cracks of the high walls he had built.

"Ellie…she learned the truth…of a lie i have been telling her for-for years," he pauses and looks down at his boots, "And because of that lie, she hates me now."

You want to reach out for him again, you want to tell him that that can't be the case, that Ellie does love him, but you can't because you don't know what all has happened between the two of them, it's been a secret the two had always guarded closely. So instead, with a heavy heart, you grab his hand, squeezing it in what you hope will feel reassuring.

"I…Joel, I won't ask for you to tell me more, but I want you know I am here to listen…I don't care what's happened in your past, I only wish to help. So…so I am here, for you, whenever you need…"

You squeeze his hand again seeing his eyes lock with yours easier now, his emotions and hurt still echoing in their depths.

And after a few seconds he nods, squeezing your hand back, gripping your hand in a way that seemed to ask you not to leave him, to stay. So you smile softly and reach forward with your free hand, cupping Joel’s cheek, and say, "Stay…tonight? Here with me?"

Joel doesn't say anything, his eyes flickering between your own before nodding.

After that neither of you speak. You lock your door and Joel removes his coat and boots, leaving both by your couch before turning off the lamp. Both of you move quietly to your room. You crawl onto your bed first and once you're fully situated Joel follows you. Once both of you are under the blankets and facing each other, he hesitates before curling into you, he buries his head into your neck and you move your one of your hands to bury in his hair at the nape of his neck, tracing circles and press your nose to the top of his head.

Just as you are drifting off to sleep, Joel's own soft breathing matching your own, you whisper, "Goodnight Joel."

And as you're consciousness is fading away, you feel Joel intertwine his fingers with your free hand and whisper back, "Thank you."

Requests are open! Please send them to my askbox! <3 Thanks for Reading!!!

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #tlou #hurt with comfort #tlou spoilers

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spicysix · 11 months

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WIP Wednesday Snippet

a lot of you asked for your sweater, so i thought i'd make this easier and just paste the whole thing i was able to draft here, and tag everyone who requested!

it doesn't have like huge spoilers because nothing exactly huge happened, but it does mention what happens at the end of chapter 2, plus this one OC, so i recommend you read the previous chapters before diving into the snippet after the cut ♡ you can find the series masterlist here. also, the snippet is not proofread lol

thank you for requesting! @bifuriouswaterbender @eriquin @starryeyedjanai @stobinesque @inairbinad @roykentt

Steve loses his virginity at a party, second week after the new year’s beginning.

Well, a lot of things lead to that.

After the night he spent with Jonathan, all Steve wanted was to stay with him even more. The whole week he counted the days, hours, minutes until next Friday when they’d get to meet again. They’d see each other on the hallways at school and smile and there was so much in Jonathan’s eyes that Steve felt like the heat of it could keep him warm throughout the whole winter. More often than not he’d have to look down or find excuses to not make Tommy or Bryan suspicious, still trying to steer them away from Jonathan.

Bryan. That was another thing.

Something happened someday between Bryan and another guy after a basketball practice, a week after the last time Steve saw Jonathan. Bryan and the other guy were the only ones there, until coach caught them and brought them to the principal. They were both invited to leave school, which was something Steve never thought he’d see happening, and since they were the only ones there, no one else knew what they did. Bryan’s family actually moved away, and the other guy was sent to a boarding school.

It was the talk of Hawkins High for the last month of the year. Everyone gossiped and theorized on what could’ve been that bad. But no one knew the actual truth.

Tommy, missing the other half of his brain, got grumpy. He wasn’t as physical anymore, not without someone else to help him with the beating, but he’d pick on more people, for reasons more stupid every day. And without his former partner in crime, he started dragging Steve everywhere. And, worst, following Steve everywhere.

Steve couldn’t see Jonathan. Not without the risk of Tommy trying something.

Now, Steve thought things would get better after Bryan left, but they didn’t. And at a party right before Christmas break, Tommy allegedly found the love of his life and if he was insufferable before that, he was actually even worse after. He dragged Steve all across town looking for Carol Perkins, and he wouldn’t rest before he found her.

Christmas came, Steve spent the holiday with his family and the minute it was over, Tommy was all over him again, to another random teenager’s party.

Steve couldn’t see Jonathan. Again. He had already planned the night, separated what he wanted to gift him, bought an extra can of hairspray.

But Tommy was relentless. The weeks followed, and he dragged Steve from the movies to the stores, to parties, to the mall two towns over — everywhere, looking for the girl he was obsessed with. It was the coldest winter Steve had ever gone through in his short life, and he was forcefully glued to Tommy like a teen babysitter. The one person he wanted to see so close and so far. Just a tiny spread of forest and the entire social pyramid separating them.

Two weeks after New Years, at yet another party, Tommy finds Carol Perkins.

She isn’t alone.

And Steve isn’t a virgin anymore.

#wip wednesday #ys(uoyh)#stonathan #stonathan snippet #lui writes

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kkusuka · 3 years

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Haikyuu poly headcannons!! <33

Pairs: Kageyama & Hinata, Oikawa & Iwaizumi, Ushijima & Tendo, Sakusa & Atsumu, Kurro & Kenma, and finally Bokuto & Akaashi.

part 2

Sfw AND Nsfw

Slight time skip spoilers!!!

let me know what you want to see next

word count: 2.6K I got a bit carried away. lol

FEMALE READER

Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shoyo

Sfw

It's a constant fight for attention

They are polar opposites, Hinata is warm and energetic while Kageyama is confused and awkward, but they both love you so much it hurts.

How you got together was kind of a funny story, you and Hinata knew each other from middle school and reconnected when you met at a local mall in tokyo. So when you and Hinata started hanging out more he couldn't help but brag to Kageyama about it, which led to him wanting to meet you and thus began the year long fight for your love.

You couldn't choose between them so they came to the decision that they would just share you!

Your dynamics are pretty simple, you spend as much time with whoever is not at practice at the time, lucky they have two completely different practice schedules, Hinata in the morning and Kageyama in the afternoon.

That meant cuddling with Kags in the morning and cooking lunch with Hinata in the afternoon.

You guys also have a weekly date night! You have a rotation of who gets to choose what they want to do.

Unsurprisingly Hinata likes volleyball inspired dates, but he also likes the movie and picnic dates!

Kageyama is a bit more romantic, shockingly (he read a dating book), like romantic dinners and late night walks , shopping, anything to see you happy.

They also love anything you want to do, stay in? They make popcorn for movies. Dinner? Where, what and when should they make a reservation.

They are literally so whipped for you.

Nsfw

Oh~ ho ho~

I am a firm believer that these two are switches.

Hinata is a bit more submissive than Kags (for the most part), but he has his moments.

And i have this thing where Kags makes you and Hinata fuck while he watches biut votgh of you are power bottoms.

Toys toys toys

I'm talking double ended dildos and vibrators galore.

Punishments are usually for Hinata and consist of you riding Kags while he watches, and its absolute torture.

They also have nights where they have you alone and those are sweet and romantic, rose petals and candles.

It's never boring <33

“Tobio, doesn't she look so pretty?”

“God Shoyo you’ll cum in your pants if you grind like that”

“ go fuck yourself on the fucking dldo like a slut”

Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime

Sfw

There are two ways that this happened

1. You grew up with them and slowly fell in love through your life, and you all got together in highschool

2. You met Oikawa in Argentina, literally fell in love at first sight, stars in your eyes. This led to him bringing you back to Japan, which led to you meeting “Iwa-chan” (who looked much more beautiful in person). After hanging out everyday for about 3 weeks Oikawa bright up the idea of sharing

And here you are!

You guys are all similar but you share personal things with each boy

With oikawa you have the obsession with aliens and you too even have a beauty routine that you do every night before bed.

With Iwaizumi you, of course, make fun of Oikawa at every waking moment. But! You also do all different kinds of exercise with him. You have a monthly yoga class and a swim aerobics program every other tuesday!

These two spoil you so much it's ridiculous.

Perfumes, jewelry, clothes and even gaming things.

They will get you anything even if you don't want it (and they are rolling in cash so it doesn't really matter.)

Nsfw

Iwaizumi rules the bedroom.

And as much as Oikawa pretends to be the top, he falls apart the second you kiss him neck.

Favorite position?

Simple. It can go two ways.

Oikawa laying on his back, Iwa fuking him into heaven and you sitting on his face OR you on your stomach ass up with Iwa between your legs and Oikawa's dick in your mouth.

The only real times Oikawa is in you is when Iwazumi wants to see both of you be pathetic sluts, or when Oikawa is being punished, mostly cockwarming while he is tied and not able to thrust in you.

Double penetration?

Your punishment.

Whine and cry all you want neither of them are slowing down, this is really the only time Oikawa is dominant in the bedroom

“Aw, Tooru, look at her! So pathetic!”

“You look like two whores trying to fuck, Harder brats”

“Oh! Iwa her throat gets tighter when you do that!”

Ushijima Wakatoshi and Tendo Satori

Sfw

Oh bby how did you get so lucky?

You have the best of both worlds!

Tendo, who you can joke around and cook with.

And Ushijima, your pillar and voice of reason.

This relationship was 100% started by Tendo. No question. He saw you and decided right then and there that you were his, and what kind of best friend would he be if he didn't share with Wakatoshi!

Thank god you were willing to do this, it would have Broken Satori AND Wakatoshis heart :((

This WAS the best decision of your life.

Your first date as a threesome was so cute, it started with walking around tokyo and you stopped and ate in a small cafe. You begged them to pay and they didn't let you so this became a game to see if you could ever find a way to pay before them.(you're still failing to this day)

After the cafe they took you to a small beach that had a little volleyball net set up. Insert uwus here

They taught you how to play, the basics if you didn't already know, and you guys played around until it was 2am

All of your dates are different but they either end like that or cuddling on the couch wachting movies. OR you know ;))

Nsfw

UHHH there are two ways this could go.

You being absolutely ruined by these two. Both being pretty big, they easily overpower you.

Tendo also has the obsession with being in your ass while ushijima rips your poor pussy apart.

Sadist tendo also makes a slight appearance, not letting yu cum for hours then making you cum over and over and over again

Mr. Tendo controls what you and Toshi do!

Trust me Wakatoshi is still controlling you every waking second, but having Tendo tell him what to do (being slightly unaware of what to do anyway) gets him off just as much as you.

And when he’s feeling more adventurous, Tendo has kept you and Ushijima on literal leashes at his feet while he just chilled out. (i literally love this so much-)

You guys do a lot of exploring!

“Harder Toshi, the slut can take it”

“” we don't have enough dicks to fill all your holes”

“Satori! Please!” “Shhh, floor whores don't get to talk”

Sakusa Kiyoomi and Miya Atsumu

My #2 pair

DAMN, i can't even put how whipped they are for you in words.

You defiantly knew Sakusa first.

You two met in the supermarket, much to his displeasure he had to shop for himself, it was the classic strangers to lovers trope

You both reached for the same countertop cleaner!

To both of your shock you touched his hand and immediately started to apologize to him (he couldn't even reply because he was so stunned by your beauty)

He snapped back and started to interrogate you about what cleaning products you use, you both didn't even realize how much time passed with you just talking about how you clean.

Eventually you exchanged numbers and texted almost all day.

This led to him texting you back every chance he had during practice breaks, but he never told you he was a professional volleyball players AND happened to be on one of the top teams in the country, (you found out when he randomly followed you on instagram)

Eventually he got sloppy and Atsumu looked at his phone and found your number! Aren't you lucky ;) almost immediately after he started to question Sakusa about you

Who is she?

Where did you meet?

Is she pretty?

Gimmie her number Omi, i wanna know her too!

Eventually Atsumu just stole his phone and started to non-stop call you.

“Uh Kiyo? This guy keeps calling me and asking me questions about you.”

“Ignore it”

It got so bad that when you officially met atsumu he had followed Sakusa to your meeting spot, and you hit it off! (much to Kiyoomi’s disdain)

After a few months, and a lot of talks, all three of you entered a relationship!

Your dynamic was great! You were clean like Sakusa and fun like Atsumu!

Perfect!

Another spoiling group, it's like they just know what you want. It doesn't even matter what you think :// no take backs :))

Plus you have girl time when they are at practice, a good time to plan surprises ;)

You even got Atsumu into skin and hair care (kiyoomi approves)

You are literally perfect (and the hottest couple in the planet)

Nsfw

Sakusa is in control.

No question.

He wants ti fuck you? Done.

He wants to watch you play with yourself. Already rubbing circles on your clit.

He wants you to ride Atsumu until you squirt? You're bouncing on Atsumu Cumming and cumming.

Believe it or not Sakusa AND Atsumu love messy blowjobs, seeing you slobber all over yourself and their cocks is the most beautiful thing to them.

Atsumu also has the dirtiest most vulgar mouth on earth, will not spare your feelings one bit.

But that doesn't even measure up to how Kiyoomi speaks to you. He has no shame is telling you that they are going to let everyone on the team fuck you senseless.

Sakusa also loves to punish you and Atsumu for literally anything, he will tie you to each other and put vibrators in your holes and just watch you two desperately grind on each other to get relief that just won't come.

(they both love to ruin your orgasm too)

“Go Whore i know you can bounce faster than that”

“Look at her Omi! Isnt she the best little cumdump? Yes you are! Yes you are!” (pls he treats you like a pet)

“Hey Miya. Wouldn't shugo just love to have her on her knees for him? I think we should let her sometime”

I would do anything for these two-

Kuroo Tetsuro and Kozume Kenma

Oh? You're the most spoiled pet in the world?

You definitely grew up together, aka you've had both of them wrapped around your finger since you were 8.

You guys probably started dating after you accidentally let it slip that you were in love with the both of them.

After you all confessed and talked for hours, you were officially dating!

Not much has changed, but they were more affectionate and loving and more physical with you.

Your dates are really random, all the varying schedule and all.

They take you to anime cafes and gaming cafes and ALL the different cafes.

They always tell you you don't have to work but you feel bad so you started a makeup channel on youtube! And of course you were a sensation!

You and Kenma make little collab videos and were voted as the cutest couple of the year!

But that doesn't1 mean you aren't involved in Kuroos life just as much!

You help him get ready every morning, he just “can't” tie his tie even after doing it since highschool.

You make him a unique bento everyday!

You even buy him little chemistry sets whenever you see that a new model was released!

Plus living with two cuddle bugs is a dream for any girl ;)

Nsfw

The way that both of them are into cockwarming-

Whenever Kenma is not streaming he wants you to sit on his cock, just be a good kitten and do it.

No worries! Between rounds he'll start to pound you for as long as he can, but it's never enough for you to cum :// too bad you'll just have to wait until he’s done, or when Kuroo some home.

With Kuroo it's usually when he is doing more work in his home office. This is pure torture.

He won’t even pay attention to you until HE wants to cum.

To add on to that neither of them are afraid of fucking you infront of people.

Kenma has no fear of keeping you at his feet while he streams so you can suck him off whenever he wants.

One time he was on a zoom call with his PR team and they had no idea you were deepthroating his cock under where the camera could see.

Kuroo is the worst with this too, he’ll start fucking you when he knows he ahs a work call in a few minutes, so in the middle of fucking he’ll just answer the phone and make you shut up :((

Both of them together? You’re fucked. (literally haha)

Kenma a bottom , 100%, just not as much as you.

Sex mostly means kuroo fucking you and sucking kenma off.

“I wonder if everyone would still follow you if they knew what a slut you are”

“Kitten you have to be quiet for Daddy now, this call is important”

“Look at that kenma, she’s cumming all over the place while drooling all over you!”

Bokuto Kotaro and Akaashi Keji

The owl nest? Yes Ma’am.

You were akaashis girlfriend first, but that meant you were practically dating Bokuto anyway.

Akaashi? He loved it, you were just so cute when you tled to Kotaro!

When he got excited, you got excited and you were just the cutest two babies in the world!

The way you would talk for hours about nonsense and laugh about the stupidest things.

Slowly but surely Akaashi braugh Bokuto into the relationship, and you had no objections!

It started with small things like movie nights that turned into sleepovers that became full dates!

Dates? Oh man you go on one almost every night!

The movies! Bookstores! Restaurants!

Even to the volleyball gym.

Sometimes Akaashi takes you to Bokuto’s games and you two just Cheer your lungs out!

This seems crazy but one time on your anniversary that took you to an owl farm!

It was probably the funnest night of your life, and that was it all three of you knew that this was how you wanted to spend the rest of your lives.

Nsfw

Bokuto might be the driving force but Akaashi is the real mastermind behind the bedroom life.

Sex mostly includs being railed by Bokuto for hours while Akaashi whispers sweet praises in your ears, telling you how good your gtaking Bokuto.

Akaashi is also a firm believer in punishing people with toys,aka Bokuto getting ahead of himself and ignoring Akaashis commands which lands him tied up and a vibrator pressed to his sild until his orgass are dry :)

Of course you are no better, cumming before your told or vene worse masterbating without permission.

That lands you with a bunny vibrator, unable to move and just watching as Akasshi fucks Bokuto with your favorite dildo :(

But if you'd just listen this would have never happened, just promise not to do it again!

“Keji please, pease, wanna cum s-so bad”

“Gee, you're just sucking him in huh? After all this time you still want more!”

“You are just the prettiest little thing huh.”

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yelena-bellova · 3 years

Text

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter One

Chapter One: The Other Wilson Sister - chapter two

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n grew up with Sam and Sarah Wilson in the bayou of Delacroix. During the Blip she stayed with Sarah to help run the family business. With Sam back and trying to save the day, Y/n’s perfect opportunity to confess her long-kept secret to her best friend presents itself.

Warnings: tfatws ep.1 spoilers, language, suicide mention, undertones of racism, lots of Wilson sibling arguments, tragic backstory

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: As I wrote this first chapter out I realized it’s most definitely also a Sam Wilson x platonic fic. Bucky doesn’t come in till next chapter but rest assured, it’s gonna be a wild ride...Also I didn’t know till now how difficult it is to plan out a series in its entirety when the show isn’t completed lol. Hope you enjoy! (I may or may not change the title depending on how I feel about it later today lol)

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Delacroix, LA 2024

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One of the only things I was certain of in life was that blood didn’t make a family.

I had no official tie to Wilson family, I wasn’t a daughter or some distant cousin sent to live with them. We shared no DNA and they had no reason to love me as much as they did. But throughout my life I had known no kinder people than them and I doubted that would change. As I stood on the family boat helping to unload the catch of the day, I thought of how our corner of the Louisiana bayou felt more like home than any place I’d ever been.

“Hey,” Sarah said from the dock, “Head out of the clouds and down here helping me.” “Sorry,” I shook myself out of my thoughts and hopped off the boat, “Not a bad catch if you ask me.”

Sarah sighed as she bent over a large bucket of fish, “It could’ve been better.” I came to stand in front of her and held my hands out for a bucket, “Take the wins where you can get ‘em, Sar. Lord knows we don’t get enough of them.” Sarah Wilson was the only superhero I’d ever aspire to be like. She was a widow who had raised two kids and run a business all by herself with no family for support. The past five years had been challenging with so many people gone and while I had moved in with her to help however I could, I could take no credit. She was one of the strongest women I’d ever known.

“You had that look on your face again,” she said as we worked.

“What look?”

“That look that lets me know you were thinking real hard about something,” Sarah imitated the expression in question by thinning her eyes slightly and furrowing her brows, “Like this.” I laughed heartily at her impression, “So what was it?” I gazed out at the bayou waters before turning to the boat and finally Sarah, “Family.”

She nudged me with her hip, something we’d done when we were young and an affectionate gesture we’d carried into adulthood. A half hour went by with us and the boys unloading and sorting the fish we’d caught. I was too wrapped up in the task to notice the sound of a vehicle approaching until AJ and Cass announced the arrival.

“Blue for the snapper, orange for the whitefish.”

“Uncle Sam!”

My head shot up upon hearing his name, as did Sarah’s. I used my hand as a visor against to sun to spot the familiar rusted truck parked a few hundred feet away, with my best friend standing outside it hugging his nephews.

“That’s right, Uncle Sam,” Sarah called, “You’re back early.”

I grinned as I shucked my gloves off and made a beeline for him, slamming my body into his for a tight embrace. It had been a few weeks since I’d seen him, having spent the only weekend he was off away, and I’d naturally been worried sick about him. My best friend and un-biological brother may have been an Avenger for years, but after losing him in the Blip I didn’t think I’d ever stop worrying about him.

“Every time I come home, you act like I’ve been gone for five years,” he joked over my shoulder, resulting in me pulling away and slapping his bicep.

“Not even a little funny,” I pointed a finger in his smug face, he slung an arm around my neck as we walked over to Sarah.

“What’s goin’ on? You got Mom’s sneaky look on your face.” “How you gonna try to read me when you know I’m the one that reads you?” Sam smiled, passing by and greeting a long time customer of ours. “That look is permanently glued to his face, Sar,” I chuckled, “I learned that in grade school.” Sam shook his head at me and laughed before making his way up the dock to the Wilson family boat. “You gotta marvel at it, baby’s being held together by duct tape and prayers.” I leaned into Sarah, “Are you telling him or am I?” She took the initiative, “It just needs to float long enough for me to sell it.” “I thought we were gonna discuss if we were selling it,” Sam replied as he helped unload another bucket of fish. “We did, and then you were off fighting Doctor Space Cape or whatever while we,” Sarah gestured between us, “Were holdin’ it together for five long years. Now that the world is going back to normal, this thing’s gotta go.”

Sam looked to me with a look of displeasure, “Were you in on this?” “Don’t drag me into this,” I waved my hands as if wiping my involvement away, “This is a Wilson sibling discussion.” “Uh-uh,” Sam called me out, wagging his finger, “Don’t do that. Dad said every chance he got that you were one of his own, you’ve got a say in this too. What is it?” I scrunched my face up, dreading the argument that was knocking on our door, “It’s dead weight, Sam. The money we could get for it would be enough to keep us comfortable for a little longer without having to worry.” “We grew up on this thing. It’s not just Mom and Dad’s name on it. This thing is a part of our family.”

I sighed as Sarah stepped forward, “You know the situation we’re in. This is why I prefer not to dwell on it in front of everybody.” “Well what if we don’t need to sell it?” Sam said. “Can we talk about this in private?” I suggested, tiring of having to convince Sam that we were in the right when he hadn’t been around to witness our struggles. A long time friend of ours called out to Sam and he willingly took the distraction, opting out of having the inevitable difficult conversation. Sarah and I trudged back, totes of fish in hand and tried to get through the rest of the work day without worrying if we were approaching our last.

————

During golden hour, when the clock had struck five and we’d started packing it up for the day was the only time to get Sam to actually listen. I knew how much the boat meant to him, it meant something to us all, but he wasn’t living in the reality that Sarah and I were.

“Sam, the boat’s gotta go,” Sarah finally said, breaking the silence we were working in on the vessel. “Wait-“ “No, let me finish,” she said, “Y/n and I are doin’ everything I can to keep this business afloat and every day we’re making $5 and spending $10.” Sam looked between the two of us, “So why won’t you let me help?”

“Sam, don’t…” I winced, knowing Sarah’s reaction would be strong.

“No, don’t start with that. We made a deal before Daddy died,” Sarah carried a few buckets to the center of the deck, “You’re out there, I do things my way here. Y/n agreed to it too when she went off to school.” “Right, but you tangled the house into this when you took those loans,” Sam finished tying off one of the ropes, turning around and giving Sarah the perfect opportunity to punch his chest, “Forgot how hard you hit.” I sighed as I passed him by to follow Sarah, “Low blow, you deserved it.”

“Sarah, Y/n, c’mon,” he chased after us, “Look, and don’t hit me again…What if you had money to fix it up? Make it nice so you can charter it when you’re not out working the waters?” “Sam, do you think this was an easy decision for us?” I faced him, leaning against the doorway next to him, “I tried every tactic I learned in business school and got nowhere. Anything I thought up, we needed more money to do. This is our only option.” As he always did with the things he cared about, he fought. “We can take a loan and consolidate everything, it’ll take down your monthly,” he looked confused as he watched Sarah laugh, “What?” “You think I didn’t try the banks? They’re in with all that big business now.” I followed them like the little sister I’d always been as they moved their fight towards the cockpit of the boat. Sam blocked another doorway, “Yeah, but now you have me.”

“Don’t, Sam,” Sarah shook her head, “I just got good with this.”

“All right…”

“Maybe it is time for us to move on,” Sarah sighed. “Either way, just let me help,” Sam offered, “I’ll set the appointment. Look, I won’t let you guys down. We can turn this shit around. Trust me.” I peered over at Sarah, wishing I could see the calculations going on in her brain. It seemed pointless, but any shot at changing our luck was an avenue worth pursuing.

“It can’t hurt to try,” I shrugged.

Sarah finally relented, “To the rescue, huh?”

“Always,” Sam smiled, “Now, let’s get some dinner. I’m hungry.” ————

Sarah was taking AJ and Cass back home while Sam and I took his truck to go pick up food.

“So how was Tunisia?” I asked, sticking my hand out the window and letting it rise and fall with the wind.

“Hot, but the mission went well,” he answered, looking out of the corner of his eyes at me, “And that’s all you need to know.”

I snickered, “C’mon, it’s our thing. I ask you detailed questions about your confidential missions, you tell me you can’t reveal anything, I keep asking…You’ve gotta honor tradition.” “I flew, I fought, I rescued. Boom, mission explained.” “Ugh, you’re impossible, Wilson,” I waved him off, “How was the museum dedication?” The atmosphere changed as the subject of conversation changed from easy to complicated. “It was nice to see Steve’s accomplishments celebrated. Got to see Rhodes which was nice…” “You’re avoiding a red white and blue topic,” I said, trying to coax his true feelings out of their shells, “Seriously, are you really okay with this? Giving up the shield?” Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t think it was ever meant to end up in my hands. I did the right thing, it belongs with Steve and the museum is the closest to Steve I can get.” I respected my friend’s choice but I knew there was so much more to his decision and I wished he would just say it. He had an enormous amount of respect for Steve Rogers and what the shield represented, but Steve Rogers never had to face the issues that Sam Wilson did. Steve Rogers could follow a government and be respected in return with no problems whatsoever. Sam Wilson couldn’t, not always. There was an elephant in the room and if neither of us wanted to talk about it, I wouldn’t push it.

“You’d have looked good in that uniform though,” I smiled as we turned into the take out place’s parking lot.

“Damn right,” Sam waggled his eyebrows and unbuckled his seatbelt. Laughter rang out in the truck sending me on waves of nostalgia. The memories that me and him had in this truck still were infamous between us. As proud as I was of the Falcon’s heroics, I was prouder to call Sam Wilson my best friend.

————

Just as he’d promised, Sam made the appointment with the banker. He and Sarah were already on their way as I made the hour long drive in the opposite direction to New Orleans. I’d told them I’d be back in the evening to discuss how it went, but I had my own appointment to keep.

Sam and I had met back when we were just a couple of first graders. I’d always struggled with making friends as a kid, but Sam never had an issue when it came to connecting with others. It was one of his strongest qualities. And so he used his gift on his desk neighbor, the loneliest kid in class, and pulled her out of herself. We were inseparable until college and adulthood forced us apart, but we’d never lost our bond. Even when he was a pararescue, he wrote to me as often as his work allowed him.

All the Wilsons had taken a liking to me after Sam brought me home one day after school to watch cartoons. Darlene had told me I was welcome to come over any time I wanted, an offer Sam and I accepted till I became a permanent fixture in their house. Paul and his wife had frequently tried to get the rest of my family over for a crawfish boil or a barbecue. They’d send me every few weeks with a verbal invitation to my parents and the next day I’d always come back with a polite decline and excuse as to why we couldn’t make it. Mom was busy with spring cleaning, Melanie had a recital, Dad was feeling under the weather…

The only one that had ever been true was about my dad not feeling well. He was never well. But as a child, how do you explain that your father is a ghost around his own home who drinks himself to sleep and wakes up each night screaming from nightmares? There was no polite way to phrase circumstances that dark. Sometimes I felt like my dad had never returned from the military and though there hadn’t been a war at the time of his service, he still came back with his share of trauma. Mom did everything she could to try and help him. She found support groups for veterans, she took him to the best psychiatrists, she created a safe space for him within our home to retreat to. There was no amount of help that could kill my father’s demons and that was proven the night he’d said we were out of milk and he was going to the store. A few hours later, with my sister and I fast asleep upstairs, my worried mother answered the door and was informed by the police that my father had crashed his car and was dead. After speaking to Mom about what his mood had been like before he’d left and if he suffered from any mental illnesses, it was ruled as an undoubtable suicide.

My mother didn’t get much time to mourn after the funeral, she had two children to provide for. She took three jobs just to earn enough to move us from our house in New Orleans to a dingy apartment in Delacroix by the bayou. When the Wilsons heard that Mom needed to scrape enough money in the budget to hire a baby-sitter for me and Melanie, they put a stop to her efforts immediately. The insisted that Mel and I would be happier spending the time my mom was working with them and their kids rather than a stranger. That was how the Wilsons and the Y/l/ns had ended up so tightly knit. While Sarah and Melanie had bonded as the older sisters and were often off doing their own thing, Sam and I caused havoc of our own in classic younger sibling fashion. By the time we were in high school, both parents called the other’s children their own.

When Paul and Darlene passed away, it was incredibly hard on all of us and it was equal when Mom had a fall and the doctors suggested she move into a facility. Sam, Sarah and I had worked hard to get her into one of the best nursing homes in the city and she hadn’t stopped raving about how much she loved it. Pulling into the parking lot was like muscle memory now, I never missed a weekend visit with her. This one was special because Melanie, her husband and brood of children had come too. I grabbed my visitor’s sticker at the front desk and made my way down the familiar hallways. The sound of laughter and cooing echoed out of my mom’s room, bringing a smile to my face.

I knocked on the door and heads turned, my nieces and nephews being the quickest. “Aunt Y/n!” I embraced Sophia and Max tightly, “The twin tornados! I missed you guys,” separating from them was difficult as they clung to me but I made it to Stephan, giving him a kiss on the cheek and doing the same to Mel, “You look hot, mama.” “I certainly don’t feel it,” she remarked as she cradled their newest addition, baby Alexandra, close to her chest, “I spend more hours of the day covered in glitter glue and spit up than you could imagine.” “You wear it all well,” I patted her shoulder before coming to my mother’s bedside and hugging her, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” she kissed both of my cheeks and looked to the door, “Sarah and Sam couldn’t come?” “No, but they send their love. They had an appointment at the bank,” I set down my purse and pulled up a chair, “We’re trying to get approved for a small business loan.”

Glen took Alexandra from Mel so she could tend to the twins, “I wish we could help out, Y/n. I’ve looked at the budget over and-“ It warmed my heart that my brother-in-law cared so much about a problem that wasn’t his to bear. “Glen,” I held up a hand, “You guys are stretched thin enough. This isn’t me asking for charity, it’s our problem and Sam’s confidant we’ll find a fix.” “How does he have enough time to be a member of the Air Force, an Avenger and save the family business?” Mel asked.

“Well, the Avengers are kind of off doing their own thing right now from what I understand and he’s home for a little while from the Air Force,” I explained, “So his main job at the moment is to get us our funding and annoy the snot out of me while doing it.” After earning some giggles from Sophia and Max at the expression, Glen announced that they were going to go and grab lunch for everybody. My mom took my hand once it was just the two of us and I settled into my seat, “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hanging in there,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, “Tired, stressed, I smell like fish most of the time…We need this loan or else we’re going to have to sell the boat. You should’ve seen Sam’s face when Sarah told him…”

“I’m sorry, I know how much that boat means to you kids. I could’ve offered you the moon and stars and it still wouldn’t have been enough to get you off it.” I smiled at the memories of summer nights spent laying on the deck stargazing, dance parties on the stern and early mornings spent with Mr. Wilson teaching us how to fish. A childhood with so much sadness had also contained so many joys. To part with a tangible one killed me more than I’d let on to Sam.

Sensing that the topic was making me emotional, my mother was kind enough to change it. “How are things otherwise? Have you been getting out there?” I dropped my head back dramatically and groaned, “Mom…” “I’m just saying,” she dropped my hand and held up hers in surrender, “You should get out there, meet someone. There’s no shame in trying those online dating services. What’s the one…the…Tinder?” “Oh my gosh, Mom,” I buried my face in my hands and moved my fingers so she could only see my eyes, “Please stop talking.” “You know who I ran into the other day? Jack’s mom, from high school. She lives just down the next hallway, she says that he’s still single. You could get in touch with him.” “Y’know, for a woman who advocated for her daughters to lead such independent lives, you’re sure quick to try and marry us off,” I chuckled, “The second Mel started dating Glen you were practically booking the church.” “And I’m very proud of both my girls for being such strong young women,” she smiled proudly, “But finding love doesn’t mean losing your independence so long as you’re with the right man. I love that you’ve been helping out Sarah these last few years but honey…I see how lonely you are. In those big y/e/c eyes you think I still can’t read after all these years.” The y/e/c eyes in question started to fill with sadness at hearing my pain verbalized. It was true, I was lonely. More so than I would ever let on to anybody. I was a shy enough kid who only withdrew further after Dad passed away, that kind of introversion wasn’t one that you outgrew. But I’d given up the idea of finding someone to spend my life with a long time ago for a bevy of reasons.

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone, Mama,” I nodded as if to force myself to agree with my statement, “No chances of getting hurt…or hurting somebody.” “You couldn’t hurt somebody even if you tried,” my mom argued sweetly, “You couldn’t even kill spiders when you were a kid.” “And now there’s a Spiderman out there so I’m glad I didn’t,” I shot back with a laugh.

“I’m serious, honey,” she took my hand once again, “Don’t let your heart’s wounds keep you from finding someone who could help soothe them.”

I was convinced my mother was both a poet and a therapist at some point in her life, she gave advice in the most beautifully phrased way. And while I’d loved to have taken her words to heart, tell Mel to fix me up with one of Glen’s friends and put an end to my loneliness, I feared that I was just too broken to give love to someone.

————

I arrived back home late, shedding my boots and bag at the doors. I’d expected to hear a triumphant chorus of Sam shouting ‘WHO DA MAN?’ as he typically would when heroically proving me and Sarah wrong, but there was only silence. When I walked into the kitchen and saw their glum faces, it wasn’t hard to guess the outcome of the meeting. “You’re kidding me…” “Said that things had tightened up,” Sam said, leaning against one side of the island and taking a swig of his beer, “Had the balls to ask me for a picture afterwards.” I groaned and grabbed the beer bottle Sarah had extended to me, “Okay, we’re out of options. It’s time to move forward-“ “Don’t say it…” Sam tiredly warned.

“Someone has to, Sam. We can’t keep searching for solutions when the right one is sitting out on our dock,” I gestured to the window that looked out on the road we took each day to work.

Sarah set her beer down and held her hands up in surrender, “I’m not having this argument again tonight, I’m going to bed. If you’re gonna kill each other, do it quietly.” She left as me and Sam silently stared each other down, waiting for the other to speak. I was too frustrated to play the game, “What’s this really about?” “It’s about the damn boat and that you and Sarah are throwing in the towel too-“ “What,” I elongated the single syllable word, “Is this really about?” Sam set his drink down and rubbed his hands over his head before looking back up at me helplessly, “You guys were on your own for five years and you’ve done an amazing job. But now nothing’s working and I just…I just want to help because I couldn’t for so long.” It all clicked as to why Sam was being so insistent on trying to eliminate the whole matter. He was used to saving the day and finally meeting one that he couldn’t save was a wall he thought he could still find a way to run through. He’d been like that ever since we were kids, always trying to help the people he loved even when it was impossible. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever met.

“I love you,” I set down my bottle and crossed the island to come next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, “But this may be one problem that the Falcon can’t swoop in and fix. The Avengers work hard, but a business graduate helping to run a struggling seafood business works harder,” I succeeded in getting him to crack a smile, “Believe me, I’ve run all the numbers and consulted with anyone who would listen. The boat’s gotta go.”

“Yeah, well, humor me and give me a little while longer.”

“Fine, a couple more days,” I grabbed my beer once again and clinked it against his, “But it’s not my fault if Sarah smacks you again.” Sam laughed, slung an arm around my neck and kissed my temple. “You coming up soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a few minutes,” I answered, watching as he finished his drink before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. Once I’d heard his bedroom door open and close, I exited out to the back porch. I took in the late night sounds of the bayou, the crickets chirping and the wind rustling trees had always soothed me. I wished they could touch what I was feeling right now, but the noise didn’t do a thing to drown out my worry. For the business I feared we may lose, for Sam as he ran himself ragged trying to help and for myself and what him and Sarah would think of me once I confessed the secret I’d kept from them for so long.

I held out my hand and watched as the blue energy flowed from my fingertips. Would Sam ever forgive me for not telling him I had powers? They had manifested when I was young, my parents said. I couldn’t remember a day where my body hadn’t produced a magical energy that when harnessed incorrectly could be destructive. It had been a sad day for my mother’s garden when I’d discovered that bit…According to her, she’d wanted to take me to a school for people like me run by a man named Charles Xavier but my father had said no immediately. He’d been so insistent on keeping my powers a secret that my mother said she’d only seen that type of fear in his eyes when he had a war flashback. So I was instructed to never show my powers to anyone under any circumstances and I’d done just that. I’d thought about revealing them in 2012 after the Battle of New York, but my dad’s fear rang in my ears. Three years later when Sam became an Avenger was when I began to feel guilty that I was keeping a secret from him. I’d wanted to join him and find somewhere where I didn’t feel so out of place, but I’d decided against it again. Now with their team so broken and Sam off with the Air Force, I’d finally gathered the courage to confide in him and Sarah. I should have done it six months ago, but I’d chickened out too many times. Tomorrow, I decided. Tomorrow was the day. But would they still see me the same way once I showed them? ————

The next morning, after dressing and running over what I wanted to say three times, I hesitantly headed downstairs to face the music. With there being nobody in the kitchen, I followed the sounds of the television to find Sarah and Sam staring at the screen intently. I stood to the side of the room and watched a suited man give a speech out front of a government building. “We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.”

My jaw slackened as a man marched out in front of the gathered press, dressed in a variation of Steve Rogers’ patriotic uniform and carrying the iconic shield. The shield that had only weeks ago sat upstairs in Sam’s bedroom in a case. I dragged my gaze away from the screen to look at my best friend, hunched over in his seat with his eyes shut in sorrow. Sarah looked just as distraught, her eyes trained on her brother as well. We waited in silence until the breaking news broadcast switch back to regularly scheduled programming before Sarah switched the box off.

“I thought you said it was going to stay in the museum,” I finally spoke, my voice choked with emotion.

“It was supposed to,” Sam ground out, his grip on his own hands tightening. Without any warning, he rose from his seat and left the room. My instinct was to follow him and try to comfort him, but there was nothing I could say to ease the deep pain he was feeling. I wasn’t even sure I could form words that weren’t doused in raw shock. The two things I was sure of were that a) the government had fucked up royally and b) now was definitely not the time to tell Sam about my powers.

————

It was a few days later and Sam still hadn’t spoken much to Sarah and I about the situation. It was unnatural for Sam to suffer in silence especially around us, but we both gave him the space he needed.

I was taking laundry to AJ and Cass’ room and had to pass by Sam’s, surprised to see him packing a bag. “Thought you were sticking around.” “Something big came up,” he replied as he set a stack of t-shirts in his duffle bag, “I need to go check it out.” I leaned against his doorway, “Air Force big or Avengers big?” “The second one.” “And you’re going by yourself?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

Sam looked over his shoulder at me finally, “Don’t have anybody to else to call. Besides, I can handle myself.” I hummed in response before setting down the stack of laundry, an idea forming in my head that could solve both of our problems. I folded my hands together and dug my feet into the carpet, “What if you didn’t have to go by yourself?” He looked confused, “What are you talking about?” My folded hands began to make circles in the air as I struggled for the right words, “What if I came with you?” “What, like take your family to work day something?” Sam scoffed, “That’d be fun.” “I’m serious.” “Are you crazy? Of course you can’t come.” “Hear me out,” I looked to his bag and the pair of jeans he had next to fold, “Actually watch.” He folded his arms and waited for my demonstration. I took a deep breath and extended my hand, forcing my energy outwards to levitate the jeans. “Whoa!” Sam exclaimed as he watched me maneuver the clothing inside his duffle, “W-w-what…What was that?” I shrugged and pulled my hand back to my side, “The reason why you should take me.”

“How long have you been able to do that?” “Since I was a kid,” I moved out of the doorway and closed the door, the last thing I needed was AJ and Cass knowing their aunt could move things with her mind, “My parents told me never to tell anybody. I’ve thought about telling you for years since you’re used to this kind of thing but I was scared…Then you were gone and when you came back, life was moving non-stop and I lost my courage. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Sam stood with his jaw hung for a few seconds before shaking his head back into reality, “Why are you apologizing? You never had to tell me, but I’m glad you did,” he pointed a finger towards me, “But you’re still not going.” “What are you talking about? I’d be an asset to whatever it is you’re fighting! And I love you but c’mon bird boy, you may be able to fly but I can do it without any tech.” “Oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” Sam gestured between the two of us, “You think insulting me is the way to get me to let you come?” “Come on,” I moved to sit on his bed, “Tell me what the problem is and I’ll prove that I can help.” “Alright, alright,” Sam took a stance in front of me, “You wanted to hear the tea on my missions, I’ll spill it. There’s an online group called the Flag Smashers, their MO is to get the world back to the way it was during the last five years. My military contact, Torres, went undercover in Switzerland when they robbed a bank. Knocked him unconscious when he tried to fight back.” I balanced my elbows on my knees and tapped a finger against my lip, “So kind of a Robin Hood deal, right? Stealing things from the rich and giving it to the poor. In this case, the poor being those who never disappeared.” “Exactly, except the guy that knocked Torres out was strong. Too strong. I’m thinking they could be a part of-“ “The big three.” Sam’s neck snapped back, “How do you know about the big three?” I shrugged nonchalantly, “The little you do tell me about your avenging always ties back to either androids, aliens or wizards. Though I think you’re being a little dramatic with the term ‘wizard.’”

“Are you seriously gonna correct the guy who’s actually there doing the fighting?” “Are you seriously gonna deny yourself valuable help against either an alien or an android?”

Sam sighed, I was successfully backing him into a corner. “Can you even fight?”

Extending one hand, I levitated Sam and gently slammed his back into the ceiling before reversing course and lowering him onto the carpet. He moaned as he rolled over to face me, “Could’ve given me a concussion.” “Maybe that would knock some sense into your head,” I stood and gave him my hand to pull him up, “Sam, I know that I don’t have any experience but I am more than capable of defending myself. I want to actually do something with these powers instead of sitting on my ass. I’d rather do it with you than on my own. Please?” I watched the cogs in his mind turn through his eyes, I knew he was only fighting this hard because he wanted to keep me safe. But he was in way over his head if he thought it wasn’t worth taking me with. He accepted my hand and stood to his full height, “Pack a bag, we’re leaving for the air base in an hour.” I smiled and threw my arms around him, “Thank you, you won’t regret this.” “I’d better not,” he warned, his arms stayed straightened in displeasure of my enthusiasm, “If you take some stupid risk and put yourself in jeopardy, I’m putting your ass on a plane home.” Quick footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway until the door opened to reveal Sarah, “What was all that noise? It sounded like you were throwing each other into walls.” “Busy,” I quickly dismissed her, using my energy to shut the door in Sarah’s face from a distance.

“Um,” her muffled voice rang through, “What the hell was that?!”

--------

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n1kolaiz · 3 years

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The Six Realms

Okay, so I was pretty close to giving up on writing analyses but I'm back LMFAO plus I see we're close to 100 followers and I just want to thank you guys for being so very supportive <3

Alright, I'm not sure if anyone's ever written about this, but if an analysis like this exists, please do let me know because I'm kind of curious as to what other people think about this, too!

Remember that time Fukuchi spoke about bringing "about the five signs of an angel's death"?

I read a little bit more about it, and as a minor content warning: this analysis will focus on a few religious aspects (Buddhism + Hinduism). So if I get any of the facts wrong, firstly: I do not mean any disrespect to either religion, and secondly: please do correct me if I interpret anything in the wrong way.

Spoilers for BSD chapter 90 onwards + BEAST!AU under the cut!

So I'll start by talking about the Decay of Angels. As we all know, the members include Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, and Bram Stoker, and their leader, Fukuchi Ochi. After Fyodor's arrest, the Decay of Angels came into light with Nikolai murdering four government officials in a week. These murders symbolise the Buddhist cycle of existence, or otherwise known as samsara: the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

"We are the Decay of Angels—hiding here as terrorists, a 'murder association', five people who will announce the demise of the celestial world."

Nikolai Gogol, chapter 57

Samsara is described to be a concept beyond human understanding. According to Hinduism, samsara is the physical world where every being has its soul trapped into a physical vessel. The Hindus believe that everything has a soul, and due to a soul's attachment to desire, it is forced into a deathless cycle of being born, dying, and reincarnating into a different body. In Buddhism, the ultimate way to break free from this cycle is by obtaining nirvana.

Nirvana is a Sanskrit word for the goal of the Buddhist path: enlightenment or awakening. In Pali, the language of some of the earliest Buddhist texts, the word is nibbana; in both languages it means "extinction" (like a lamp or flame) or "cessation." It refers to the extinction of greed, ill will, and delusion in the mind, the three poisons that perpetuate suffering. Nirvana is what the Buddha achieved on the night of his enlightenment: he became completely free from the three poisons. Everything he taught for the rest of his life was aimed at helping others to arrive at that same freedom.

- TRICYCLE'S definition of nirvana

As Fukuchi mentions in the panel above, there are six different realms of existence. These realms represent every possible state of existence, but one cannot live in a specific realm forever. Depending on whether or not one's past actions were morally good or bad, an individual is born into one of these realms. Basically, the controlling factor of which realm a person is born into is dependent on their respective karma. The realms are separated into two categories: the hellish ones and the heavenly ones.

The Deva Realm: where beings are rewarded for the good deeds they have done. This realm is void of anything unpleasant. It is basically paradise— empty of unfulfilled desires, any form of suffering, and fears of every kind. Religious individuals, however, do not seek to be born into this realm since its attitude is more or less carefree.

The Asura Realm: where demigods are admitted. Asuras are driven by greed and envy, and may come in conflict with human beings since they are quite similar. They are powerful beings, but quarrel with each other quite a bit, making this realm quite undesirable to be reborn into.

The Animal Realm: where beings are given the form of an animal (you probably guessed that lol). Individuals here don't actually have good karma to take pride in, but rather, they are born into this realm to work off their bad karma (by being slaughtered, hunted, or forced to work, etc). Being born into this realm forces one to atone for their past sins by living out their life as an animal.

The Hell Realm: where one is punished for their evil actions. The most merciless of realms, where one pays for their transgressions through pure suffering, methods of which include: dismemberment, starvation, and psychological/physical torture. However, once a person's term is fulfilled in this realm, they are presumably promised to be reborn into a higher state.

The Preta Realm: similar to the hell realm, in which beings pay for their past sins (specifically: greed and stinginess) by having to survive through hunger and thirst. This realm is also known as the 'ghost realm,' because some pretas are psychologically tortured by being forced to live in places their past selves have lived in. They are invisible to human beings living at that time, which pushes them to face the depths of despair and loneliness. Your typical horror movie, really.

The Human Realm: the only realm where one's actions determine their future. The status (social ranking, physical wellbeing, and so on) of a human being in this realm is determined by their past actions, but due to the fact that a person has their own conscience to differentiate good morals from bad, the actions they commit in this realm have the power to determine which realm they are sent to next.

Okay, so now that I've got that out of the way, let's shift our focus to the Book. Very little is known about the Book, but the basic fundamentals of how it works is that whatever is written in the book will come into existence only if its contents follow the rules of karma. In addition to that, only a few sentences can be written into a single page of the Book, and it must follow the current narrative of the story.

If I'm not wrong, the first time the Book was mentioned was by Fitzgerald, who wanted it to resurrect his deceased daughter in hopes of restoring his wife's mental health. The next time the Book is brought up is when Fyodor's intentions to possess it are divulged; his goal was to decimate the global population of ability-users. And now, the current arc has the Book as its central focus, with a single page in Fukuchi's possession.

[ BEAST!AU spoilers ]

The Book acts as the central point of multiverses, with each character's lives differing from universe to universe.

Dazai committing suicide in this alternate universe stands in sharp contrast with how he decided to start up a new life in the main universe.

Oda staying alive to act as a mentor to Akutagawa in the ADA differs from how Oda uses his death to prompt Dazai to "be on the side that saves people."

And of course, the way Atsushi and Akutagawa have their positions switched in the two universes depicts how different their lives would be if they were given the chance to be mentored by different people— these are just a few examples of how the Book houses an endless amount of possibilities.

[ end of BEAST!AU spoilers ]

Hypothetically speaking, this kind of reminds me of the differing realms I mentioned before, where suffering is promised in some realms, and better things are granted in the rest, depending on one's karma, or the deeds they've done in their past lives. In this scenario, perhaps one's past life can be understood as one's current life in a different universe. That's just a personal opinion though. Take it as you will.

side note: Keep in mind that the person who is more or less impervious to the Book's effect is Dazai, with his nullification ability. I wouldn't want to propose any theories in this aspect (I don't believe I'm fully fact-checked ;_;), but I could use Dazai as a raw example of how your choices affect your future. If Dazai had decided to stay in the Port Mafia after Oda's death, or if he even decided to go through with his suicidal fixations, life would've been different for him in the root universe (obviously, ryley) I mean, you could basically understand that from how he ended up in the BEAST au, but imagine if he really did slip up in his decision-making in any of the universes.

Many analysts have proposed that he went MIA (early in his life) from the main universe for a while to figure out how the BEAST universe worked, whilst having the Book to his advantage. Perhaps his actions were guided? I'm not saying he's all-knowing, but he's sure as hell smart. I'm not sure if Kafka was trying to highlight the concept of karma when it comes to Dazai, but if he is, then I suppose you could say that Dazai is pretty much unaffected by the rules of karma, existing as the centerpiece of all the multiverses. No Longer Human is the namesake of his ability, but the book talks about disqualification from societal norms and generally, the world. I was talking about it with a friend, and they reminded me that Yozo (the main protagonist) was pretty strong in his views against society. Like he didn't speak out of total defeat, he spoke out of defense. If there was anything Dazai actually lost to, it was his guilt— "Living itself is a source of sin."

Then again, that's my personal interpretation since everyone has their unique perspective of his writings. In terms of the actual adaptation, you could translate the word 'disqualification' to 'insusceptibilty' when if it came to the Book's effects on Dazai? This side note is becoming really long lmao anyways I'll link a few theories which afflicted me with brainrot down below.

Another thing before I wrap up, the name 'Decay of Angels' stemmed from Yukio Mishima's book entitled 'The Decay of An Angel.' This is the final novel to the author's tetralogy: 'The Sea of Fertility.' The main protagonist, Honda, meets a person he believes to be a reincarnation of his friend, Kiyoaki, who takes the form of a young teenage boy named Tōru. The last novel of this series enhances Mishima's dominant themes of the series as a whole:

the decay of courtly tradition in Japan

the essence and value of Buddhist philosophy and aesthetics

Mishima’s apocalyptic vision of the modern era

Again, this could be referred to what Fukuchi goes on to say:

Some people view the concept of samsara optimistically, justifying it by saying that perhaps each individual is given a second (third, fourth, fifth, who knows) chance to refine their actions in order to be birthed into a better realm, with their karma being the independent variable.

On the other hand, other people, specifically the Hindus, view the cycle of existence as some sort of plague. To them, the flow of life and being forced to endure the suffering of mere existence in any form was somewhat frowned down upon. Some Hindus viewed samsara as a trap. Besides, having one's soul being limited to a physical body for the rest of eternity was not very appealing, especially since where they ended up at depended on the karmic value their past actions surmounted.

Even so, particular types of Buddhists don't seek nirvana, but instead, like the Hindus, they make an effort to be good people of society, building up their good deeds to increase the likelihood of being reborn into one of the better realms.

As mentioned before, the Deva Realm was the home of angels, the most carefree, gratified beings to exist. Fukuchi describes these angels as the people who don't get their hands dirty, the people who act as the puppeteers of society: politicians.

In terms of parallels, angels were the most fortunate and powerful, but they didn't have anyone ruling over them. A lack of supervision would lead to the abuse of power, which is what I believe Fukuchi was referring to. Deeming himself the Decay of Angels, he sought to prove himself as the 'sign of death that falls on the nation's greed.'

A few fun facts (okay, not really) about Yukio Mishima: he committed seppuku (ritual suicide by disembowelment) on the day he held a speech to voice out his unpopular political beliefs to the public. Mishima deeply treasured traditions and opposed the modern mindset the nation was advancing forward to adapt eventually. In his last book, The Decay of an Angel, he spoke about the five signs which complete the death of an angel:

Here are the five greater signs: the once-immaculate robes are soiled, the flowers in the flowery crown fade and fall, sweat pours from the armpits, a fetid stench envelops the body, the angel is no longer happy in its proper place.

The Decay of an Angel, p.53

The reviews about this series I've read so far describe Mishima's works to be quite complex; his writings demanded a lot of time to deconstruct and understand. They were highly symbolic, and he was pretty obsessed with death and the 'spiritual barrenness of the modern world.' I think you could attach a few strings from here to the mindsets of the DOA members. Of course, this parallel is completely abstract, but I'll go on rambling anyway:

He should have armed them with the foreknowledge that would keep them from flinging themselves after their destinies, take away their wings, keep them from soaring, make them march in step with the crowd. The world does not approve of flying. Wings are dangerous weapons. They invite self-destruction before they can be used. If he had brought Isao to terms with the fools, then he could have pretended that he knew nothing of wings.

The Decay of an Angel, p.113

I suppose you could resonate Nikolai with that excerpt. As much as Fukuchi takes the lead in this whole murder association, I'd like to believe that each member of the DOA plays an equally interesting part in whatever movement they're trying to execute. Fyodor feels it is his god-sent purpose to cleanse the world of its sins, his motto being, "Let the hand of God guide you." Sigma doesn't know where he belongs, since his origination comes from a page in the Book, and is fueled by the desperation to find a reason to live. Bram holds one of the most powerful abilities which is counted to be one of the "Top Ten Calamities to Destroy the World."

What I mean to say is that the DOA members are incredibly powerful, and they're not your ordinary antagonists (or I'm just biased). It's not just overthrowing authorities, mass genocide, and world domination— you could say that each individual is trying to utilize their purposes to their fullest expenditures, and the way they're trying to assert their plan into action is a little more passive-aggressive (framing the Agency, having a convo with a suicidal dude in jail, etc). They're the gray area between evil and good. As they framed the good guys for their own crimes, they're trying to conquer the bad guys for exploiting the innocent as they please.

This post would definitely age well if all hell breaks loose in the current arc (as if it didn't) and Kafka doesn't give us a happy ending.

That's all I have to say for now I guess! Thank you for reading, and once again, if anyone else something they wanna share, feel free to do so <3

sources (tryna follow Q's example ^_^) :

the six realms

samsara

the decay of angels

beast!au

the book

the sea of fertility

yukio mishima

theory: dazai’s emotional/mental state in beast!au

q’s theory: dazai being the protector of the book

theory: beast!dazai and the book

216 notes · View notes

miraeluc · 3 years

Text

you don’t return from a mission

prompt: “diluc starts to worry when you’ve been gone on a simple mission for more than two days so he decides to look for you himself”

pairing: diluc x gender-neutral! reader

word count: 1,1k

warnings: mention of broken bone?? reader is hurt (not too bad), it’s just cute tbh

genre: angst, fluff

he was worried sick.

it was unlike you to stay overtime on missions - you did your work and left, avoiding unwanted commissions from strangers

after 1 day he wasn’t too worried, maybe you got carried away

after 2 days he was already starting to worry, maybe you went somewhere more far away and are camping there?

you were supposed to go to springvale though

that’s not that far.

after 3 days he was getting physically ill from all the overthinking - he thought every single possibility of what state you may be in right now

he hopes you’re just camping somewhere

he decided he couldn’t wait anymore and decided to go out and look for you himself

the next morning he awoke at 5am

he couldn’t sleep any longer so he got a backpack with emergency items such as a first aid kit and went on his (not so) merry way

he walked through windrise

just to make sure you weren’t there

sadly you were nowhere to be found

he sighed and kept walking - now on the way to springvale

he didn’t want to admit if but he was so terrified of losing you

you were the first person able to break down his walls in years

the thought of you potentially being in great danger made him automatically increase speed

he walked through the small village

“hey, brook. have you seen y/n around?”

“master diluc? y/n? they came by few hours ago to cook some food! looked pretty... disheveled. they said they were on their way to clear some hilichurl camps.”

diluc cursed under his breath

“did you see what direction they went?”

“took off in dawn winery’ direction-”

“ok. thanks.” he cut her off

he immediately started walking again, now getting more worried after brook described your appearance as ,,disheveled,,

when he arrived at dawn winery there was no one outside

that was weird

there’s usually always someone out there

where is everyone????

he obviously tried to go in

the doors were locked

that’s double-weird

double-weird until he very clearly heard you grunt in pain in the distance, atleast

what was dangerous enough to make dawn winery shut closed without asking him first?

he didn’t have enough time to ponder over it because he was already sprinting towards the source of sounds coming from you

his eyes widened and he faltered for a second as soon as he saw you, on the ground in the middle of three cryo abyss mages

he was, for the first time, relieved to be noticed by enemies - the three now floating towards him

he felt his anger picking up when he glanced at you, lying on the ground motionless

so, ya know what he did?

he released intense flames - knocking his opponents shields off, letting his phoenix finish them off

he sprinted towards you, dropping to his knees and pulling you to rest your head on his lap

“y/n, hang on for me, alright? don’t close your eyes”

his voice was shaking

“d-diluc- i can’t-”

was the only thing you managed to cough out, entrusting him to keep you safe, unable to keep fighting to stay awake, enduring that pain

you woke up to the sound of wood crackling beside you, residing into the warmth it radiated

curse those cryo abyss mages

you slowly peeled your eyes open, flinching at the sight of barbara and diluc hovering above you

where were you?

is this.. dawn winery??

what’s barbara doing here,,

you don’t know and you don’t care because you feel yourself getting engulfed by diluc’s arms

“god, you scared me so much..”

he won’t mention that he cried in front of barbara because he was so worried

that would feed your ego a little too much

“i’m sorry.. are they gone? i just wanted to defeat them before returning home..”

“they’re long gone..”

he sighed and pulled away from the hug, glancing at barbara who was waiting for your little moment to end before she could speak

“how did that even happen? you can take down three abyss mages easily!”

“I had cleared three hilichurl camps already and I was weakened - those took me by surprise as I was making my way back”

“you need to be careful next time - i healed you to the best of my abilities, but damage that only time can heal has been left behind. you have a broken rib and you were shivering the entire time while you were out! we warmed you up as best as we could and you should be fine now, but i wouldn’t be surprised if you do catch a cold the next few days..”

she then paused and looked at diluc

“you need to take care of y/n until they get bett-”

“you don’t even need to tell me. i won’t leave y/n out of my sight for now.”

she nodded and stood up

“very well. then, i’ll leave back to mondstadt, i still have work to do.”

without another word she left, which made diluc’s attention go back to you

he reached his hand out to caress your cheek

“i nearly got sick myself when you didnt return home after 3 days”

you broke out in a little giggle, stopping when your rib started immensely hurting but you then spoke

“oh diluc.. you know i usually take longer because i get carried away.. nonetheless, i’m very thankful that you came to my aid, no one else would have..”

“it makes me want to fire all my employees - they were all ju-”

you cut him off, pulling him down towards you to kiss his lips

“i’m glad they did, i got to see you fight~”

he scoffed, a smile spreading onto his lips

“seriously? that’s what you’re happy about?”

“well you looked very hot..” you trailed off

he attacked your face with tiny kisses after-

you best believe he didn’t let you out of sight the following weeks

he mostly made you stay in bed

always bringing you tea and left to fetch medicine for you in case of need

he even waited in front of the bathroom door when you needed to use the bathroom

he even helped you shower

you don’t express it verbally, but you’re really thankful to have him

no one except him supports and protects you as much as he does

he could literally kill someone for you

(spoiler: he already did.)

he’s your little meanie

did i mention that taking care of you also meant lots and lots of cuddles?

he always says it’s ‘so i can warm you up’

...

you know it’s because deep down he’s still very worried about your well-being

even after you’ve returned to good condition he hesitates to let you go on commissions

he usually accompanies you, just to make sure

you don’t mind

going on adventures alone can get boring - so having him by your side makes it all better :)

additional notes: hey there! there’s my second drabble. (truth is, i actually dislike this one lol). to be honest, i got so happy at the positive feedback towards my kaeya drabble, so i’m sorry it took me a while to write another one and it came out short too :( - i was having a little struggle with some writers block lol. nonetheless i hope you enjoyed this!!

#diluc #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #fluff #angst #gender neutral #genshin impact angst #genshin impact #genshin impact fluff #gender neutral reader #you get hurt #abyss mage #diluc fluff #diluc angst

576 notes · View notes

yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

----------------------------------

you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid angst

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chosonore · 3 years

Text

part two | yearning

yearning [noun. a strong feeling of wishing for something, especially something that you cannot have or get easily]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 8.2k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, somewhat suggestive, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re somewhat following the timeline of the anime/manga so spoilers ahead!! but what follows afterwards is purely pulled out of my ass lol, lowercase intended [UNEDITED]

a/n: hello, here i am again with a super long chapter ( ˙꒳˙ ) it is so incredibly messy and i’m so sorry if it gets confusing for you; this just really shows how sporadic my writing process is, i have some guidelines that i follow but sometimes venture off my path when i suddenly get a new idea. nevertheless, i hope you can somewhat enjoy this chapter. feedback or just your thoughts are much appreciated! for those that are waiting for the ~steamy~ content, it is coming next chapter hehe. as always, stay safe everyone (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

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"noritoshi, could you just stay quiet today? i'm really not in the mood," you sighed as you entered the training grounds. the exhaustion from the mission the day before was clinging onto your bones, heavy and admonishingly. the normally exciting sparring lessons seemed dreadful, knowing that all students were to practice today. to practice the balance within the team, utahime had claimed the week prior as she was reprimanding your lack of discipline when it came to noritoshi. stubbornness ran in the family; you refused to back down when someone was hurting your pride. said stubbornness came back to bite you - instead of taking a break to fully recover, you claimed that you would be fine with the help of your reverse curse techniques.

as the days came and went, the yearly tournament slowly approached. after the devastating defeat last year, everyone was on edge and determined to beat tokyo tech. well, that excluded todo, he was just looking for stronger opponents it seemed. noritoshi, on other hand, appeared to be more agitated than usual - if he wasn't barking orders at the other students, he would criticize their fighting styles. you knew he wanted to win the tournament at all costs, to prove himself worthy of the position as the kamo clan head. but he was too rigid about it, rarely accepting help and haughty when questioned. you've been avoiding him as best as you could and of all days, today had to be one where you could not. opponents would be swapped every ten minutes so everyone could practice with another student - facing noritoshi for ten minutes was easy. so you thought.

"can't promise anything, princess," noritoshi retorted smugly and pat your head like he usually did when he was trying to get a reaction out of you. life always found a way to prove you wrong. for some reason, noritoshi had made it his goal to get under your skin as much as possible on this particular day and it worked. it was childish to engage in this banter but you couldn’t help it. the feeling of not being taken serious by noritoshi had always bothered you. it almost seemed like he wasn’t considering you equal to him, always looking down on you. being stressed wasn’t good, your mother had always reminded you, so it was best to remain calm and collected.

stay calm and collected, calm and collected, you repeated in your head. gritting your teeth, you slapped his hand away and jogged away from him towards todo. at least he'd leave you alone while you were near todo - probably to avoid todo getting mad at him and not wanting to hear about takada-chan again. he was the ultimate and fool-proof shield. the taller male was walking at a leisurely pace in front of you, leading the group as per usual. you caught up to him, slowing down so it didn't look like you just jogged all the way here. away from the menace that was noritoshi. todo glanced at you suspiciously before subtly turning around. a guilty groan left your lips. of course he knew, he always knew. as the unlikely friendship was blossoming between the two of you, you rapidly realized that todo was far more perceptive than he would ever let on. even though he took lighthearted jabs at you, he didn't care enough to intervene; it was a mutual understanding. in a way, you appreciated that he treated you like everyone else, not once had he tried to approach you about your deteriorating relationship with noritoshi.

upon seeing the unlikely pair, miwa speed up as well to join them. even though todo scared her to no end, your presence eased her nerves a little. after all, you weren’t scared to put him back in his place when he was being dramatic. she nudged you gently in greeting, nervously clasping her sword in front of her. "do you think we'll win this year's competition? we've been training a lot, so i hope i can show off some of my skills."

"never say never? even if we lose, it's a good experience to learn from," you replied wryly. while the students of the kyoto tech were strong and coordinated well with each other, noritoshi and you could easily destroy the balance. he didn't know when to stop, persistently pushing your boundaries and you fell for his tricks every time. as long as you could work out a strategy that involved working alone or with a partner that was not him, you'd be fine. your safest bet was to work with miwa since you were both sword users and have practiced together extensively. if noritoshi and you exhibited enough chaos to tear the world apart, miwa and you represented the perfect balance when fighting.

"you're our secret weapon though!" miwa exclaimed excitedly, elbowing you gently. "no one knows you can heal, so we'll use that to our advantage."

"uh…"

"what? don't tell me you-"

"i've asked yuta about advice before," you interrupted her, scratching your head sheepishly. "he's one of the very few people who can use reverse cursed techniques, so i asked him to give me some pointers and how to use it more to my advantage."

when yuta participated in the competition the year before, you were absolutely mesmerized by his level of skills and how he had supposedly mastered them in such a short amount of time. of course you hadn't told anyone that you were talking to him - everyone was still salty about the defeat and would, undoubtedly, have crucified you on sight. truthfully, you didn't understand why everyone was so hellbent about hating the students of your sister school. weren't you all colleagues in a sense? yuta was nice and respectful towards you, always trying his best to explain you how to implement his tips. along the way, you might have developed a tiny, fleeting crush on him but never acted on it. it was only a crush after all and you didn’t feel certain about it not being a mere distraction from your feelings for noritoshi. perhaps it was the way he made you feel, the way he treated you like noritoshi used to before. you couldn't even deny it, you missed your old 'toshi. when you looked at him now, it hurt you, seeing all the traces of gentleness having left him.

"really? you never told me! what is he like? he looked like he was really nice but there were moments where i was really scared of him. well maybe not him but rather… that curse."

"uh, yuta is actually not that scary. he's really helpful and always there for you when you need advice. i think i've improved a lot since we've started talking." you made a mental note to thank yuta again if you got to see each other anytime soon. apparently, gojo had sent him on a mission overseas a few months back and ever since, your exchanged messages grew to be rather sporadic. still, you appreciated that he made an effort to text you every now and then to let you know how he was doing and in turn, also asked about your wellbeing.

"fraternizing with the enemy, i see," noritoshi's voice rang out beside you, dangerously close to your ear. it made you jump in surprise, not having sensed him earlier - your hand automatically shot out to hit him, only for him to catch it in time. you shot him an annoyed glare. beside you, miwa and todo glanced at each other, silently agreeing to ignore the squarreling pair.

"i don't see how that's any of your business."

"it is if it jeopardizes our chance at winning," noritoshi narrowed eyes at you in suspicion. of course he didn't trust you, you were nothing but a mild inconvenience to him. you didn't owe him an explanation, not today and not in the future. any friendship or friendliness between you was long gone. refusing to look into his eyes, you attempted to tug your hand away from him but instead accomplished the exact opposite as noritosh tightened his grip. "what did you tell him?"

"he only helped me with training, that's all! it doesn't concern you anyways so-"

noritoshi was irritated, you could tell. the anger was rolling off him in waves, intimidating even you. why was he so annoyed by the fact that you asked yuta for advice? it wasn't even farfetched - the only other alternatives were gojo and ieiri, both of which you hadn't mustered up the courage to ask yet. wasn't it in everyone's best interest for you to become a great healer? noritoshi would know best - he was the driving force behind your ambition, the sole reason why you worked to the brink of exhaustion just to show him that you didn’t need his help, that you were worthy of a higher rank.

"i don't want you to hang out with the tokyo tech kids, especially not with him."

"wait, what?" you gaped at him in disbelief. "is this just because you have personal beef with some of them? leave me out of this, i just want to improve and you don't get to tell me what to do." with that you shoved the taller male, stomping past the other students towards utahime who was looking at you in disapproval. you missed the upset frown on noritoshi's face as he followed you, wanting to reach out but stopping midway. it wasn't the right time or place to let you know why he didn't want you around them, not yet. seeing you hang out and being relaxed with everyone else but him hurt him, oh how it hurt him. he wanted you close to him, only see him, talk about him excitedly and with stars in your eyes like you did when you talked about yuta. and yet, he couldn't let you know. the only way to keep you orbiting around him was to play these silly games, rile you up and drawing a reaction out of you. it was the only way to make you pay attention to him. and so he did.

calm and collected, my ass, you thought two hours later. of course todo and noritoshi had completely eviscerated the rest of the students with no mercy, leaving everyone in a sour mood. whatever strategy your team would have for the tournament was probably thrown out the window, the two of them would take care of it anyways. not that they would stand a chance against yuta.

“yuta isn’t here?” the disappointment in your voice was palpable. you did look forward to meeting yuta again, thinking that he might have come home from his overseas trip for the tournament. but you supposed getting to know the other students wasn’t too bad, you were interested in the first years and their skills. they certainly looked more approachable than your classmates. miwa told you how todo and mai had met two of them a few weeks prior and promptly started a senseless fight that was then stopped by the second years. it landed them in the water as utahime gave them a lecture - while she didn't tolerate the childish behaviour, everyone else seemed to turn a blind eye to it. noritoshi had scoffed in disapproval upon hearing the news, uttering something about not wanting to associate with dimwits like them.

"nope, he's still overseas. it doesn't matter anyways, we'll still beat you without him," maki replied with a confident grin, arms crossed as she took in the kyoto tech group of students. regardless, you broke out in a sprint and jumped, engulfing her in a warm hug. while you two didn't talk as much as yuta and you did, you were still friends. she was a source of inspiration to you, a master of all kinds of weapons whom you deeply admired. maki gave you some awkward pats before pulling away to introduce you to the first years - megumi, yuji and nobara. the younger students were wary of you, most likely because of their encounter with todo and mai. you couldn't hold it against them, their intensity and stubbornness was something you had to deal with daily after all. you silently cursed the two brash students before taking a deep breath and extending your hand to the ones in front of you.

“hi, i’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you introduced yourself with a friendly smile, visibly relieved when they shook your hand and introduced themselves. especially nobara seemed to be eager to get to know you, fussing over your uniform and inquiring about your skills. you were glad they welcomed you, not wanting to cause any more trouble than would undoubtedly arise for the duration of the tournament. while megumi seemed to be cautious and more reserved around you, yuuji and nobara already treated you like their friend. subconsciously, you envied them for the wholesome friendship dynamic as it reminded you of what you used to have with noritoshi. the fleeting thoughts left as soon as they made an appearance in your head, disappearing when nobara grasped your hand and pulled you towards the buildings to show you around. unbothered by the reactions of your fellow kyoto tech classmates, you followed her - their energy was stifling and the tournament didn't start until later in the day anyways. it was useless to stay with your group and practice, you'd only overexert yourself.

“y/n.” noritoshi called after you sternly, glaring at you when you turned to look at him - ever since stepping foot into the estate, he was moody and more serious than usual. it was probably him being tense about the tournament, the spirit to win deeply ingrained in his bones. none of the other students seemed to be bothered by the presence of the tokyo tech students, so why should he? ignoring him, you continued your journey until you felt a force harshly pulling you back by the fabric of your hoodie. intuitively, you could tell it was noritoshi.

"noritoshi, let me go," you snapped at him irritated, struggling to free yourself from his grasp.

"we have things to discuss, did you forget that?"

"i don't want to," like a petulant child, you gave him an angry look as you stood your ground. tension filled the space between you, tethering on the edge of anger. why was a normal conversation never possible with him? and why did he treat you like a child? you let up when megumi appeared to your side, shooting noritoshi a warning glance as he attempted to remove his hand from yours. even though he didn't know what your relationship was like, he stepped in regardless - you were impressed by him. even if noritoshi remained calm, he was a menace to deal with afterwards.

"she said no, didn't you hear-"

"get your hands off of her." noritoshi growled at megumi, the sudden influx of cursed energy that was surrounding him made all students in close proximity freeze. you couldn't hide you shock either, he had never been this threatening towards someone else. he might push boundaries to the extreme, knowing that he could away with it due to his bloodline and family name but he had never outright threatened anyone that didn't do his bidding. with those words he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arm around your waist protectively. paralyzed, you blankly stared at him. his cursed energy was suffocating you, never had you experienced this amount of pressure. not only that, the unusual closeness set your heart ablaze, burning down the walls that you'd carefully constructed around it.

"you're being ridiculous," megumi challenged the older male, unbothered by the strong pressure. he didn't understand why noritoshi was making a big deal out of this. surely he didn't consider megumi a threat? noritoshi's hold on you strengthened and with panic you realized the blood-red markings appearing on his face, he was being serious, oh god he was going to rip megumi apart-

"hey hey, stop it you two," panda's voice snapped you out of your trance and seemingly noritoshi's as well as he wacked his arm. "you just got here and you're already stirring up trouble, are you not ashamed?"

noritoshi simply scoffed and let you go, his cursed energy dissipating with the movement. the rest of the students were as stunned as you were, no one daring to make another move until the tension evaporated. todo was the only one who looked rather annoyed, smacking the back of noritoshi’s head as he started to tell him off - noritoshi, however, kept walking past him towards the dorms that they were staying at for the week. it was almost like there was steam coming off his head as a result of holding his anger in. nobara gaped at you in surprise, pointing at you accusingly. “i didn’t know that was your boyfriend!”

you spluttered in horror, quickly reaching out to her to try and cover her mouth so she wouldn’t say anything incriminating. “n- no you got it wrong! we’re not together, not at all! i hate noritoshi,” you floundered, hastily trying to set the record straight. nobara didn’t look like she believed you, pushing your hands away while giggling. she wiggled her eyebrows at you, whispering at you about how lucky you were to snag such a handsome guy although she thought that he really didn’t have to overreact like that because megumi was harmless. covering your face in embarrassment, you turned away from her and caught a glimpse of an amused todo winking at you.

“i’m serious, nobara!" whatever whining you did, the two of them didn’t let up, making you wonder what you ever did wrong to deserve this scrutiny. as your last resort you grabbed nobara's hand, dragging her along towards a secluded area in the estate. being the subject of the earlier conflict was already troubling enough, you didn't want the other students to get the wrong idea by her wild speculations. nobara was still giggling when you arrived, pinching your arm playfully.

“c’mon, it’s impossible that there is not something between you! did you see the look on his face? i don’t think he would have cared had it been any other person,” she gushed excitedly, her face lighting up in glee. with no doubt, nobara enjoyed poking her nose in other people's business, seemingly having a knack for sniffing out the hidden. a dejected sigh left your lip. a younger you would have jumped in happiness after finally receiving noritoshi's attention but the present you knew better. there wasn't more to it, you told yourself and yet, a tiny sliver of doubt made its way into your mind. could he really have been so bothered by another male being so close to you? todo didn't count, obviously.

"no, there's nothing to it, i promise. we don't have the best relationship anymore and mostly fight. i mean yeah his reaction was really uncharacteristic but…"

"anymore?"

"noritoshi and me grew up together and were childhood friends. i- i didn't agree with his antics as we grew up and we drifted apart after that and now… hate each other? he’s just unbearable and we don’t get along. everyone at kyoto tech knows that so they’re mostly ignoring our fights. and it’s childish, i know, i know..."

“are you sure? like super duper sure? because it didn’t look like it to me,” nobara contemplatively rubbed her chin. the wheels were turning in her head, something didn’t quite add up. even at first glance, whatever you said made her feel doubtful.

“trust me, i wish it was different too. i mean i used to like him a lot and it makes me sad and i wish we could at least be civil around each other. but he just makes me so angry,” your ramblings stopped nobara’s thinking - so that’s what it was. normally, nobara really didn’t care about other people’s business but this was too juicy to pass up. how far could she push it to make you realize?

why was the layout of all these buildings so confusing? and why were there so many buildings to begin with? you’ve been wandering around for at least five minutes now and you still couldn’t figure out where the hell yuji’s and megumi’s rooms were supposed to be. they didn’t even have any signs around. at this point, it didn’t matter if it took longer than anticipated - the others could wait. nobara had insisted on having a small get together the night before, to get to know each other and play some card games. you couldn’t refuse, it’s been a while since you just hung out with friends without any quarreling. there was no harm in getting to know you future colleagues, even though your classmates were treating them like criminals. so instead of going herself and much to your dismay, nobara had sent you to fetch the other two students, claiming that you would be fine if you just stuck to the measly sketch she’d made for you. most of the rooms you’ve already knocked at remained empty so you couldn’t be far from their rooms, you concluded.

stopping in front of the last remaining door of the corridor, you took a deep breath. this had to be one of their rooms. slowly, you raised your hand to knock at the door when it was suddenly yanked open, startling you in the process and making you drop the piece of paper you were holding. what you weren’t expecting was coming face to face with noritoshi who looked at you as equally confused. he was the last person you wanted to see today, not wanting to confront him about his actions earlier. you couldn’t wrap your head around it; why had he overreacted in such a way? it wasn’t like you were in danger or in need of protection. for a brief moment, you thought that there was a sliver of strange possessiveness. you couldn’t quite place the emotions in his eyes, it made you shudder.

“oh uh, sorry. i was looking for yuji and megumi and this is very obviously not one of their rooms. sorry again. i’ll take my leave,” you awkwardly stammered, taking a step back. noritoshi’s figure was towering over you and in a rare moment, you felt intimidated by him. perhaps it was the dark look in his eyes that told you that he was not thrilled by what you just told him. before you could react, he swiftly grabbed your arm and pulled you inside his room, trapping you against the door.

“w- wait!” you protested weakly, pushing at his chest until his face slowly came into your vision. you couldn’t help but stare at his lips, watching them move as he was talking to you. your ears were ringing, you couldn’t tell what he was saying. the close proximity was suffocating and yet you craved more, not wanting to let him go.

“y/n? did you hear me?”

“huh?” snapping out of your trance, you looked at him dumbfounded. noritoshi was frowning at you, slightly concerned about your state as you didn’t answer him. just then you finally got a proper look at him. it was a rare sight; noritoshi wearing casual clothes, a simple oversized shirt and shorts, and his hair down without the bindings. feeling nostalgic, your heart clenched. he looked like his old self, the ‘toshi that you loved dearly.

“i said, i don’t want you around them. i don’t- i don’t like seeing you with them,” noritoshi repeated with a strained voice. he placed his hands beside your head, inching closer to you.

“what- noritoshi, you don’t get to tell me who i can hang out with! last time i checked, we’re not even friends anymore so where do you get the idea that you can do this? what’s the big deal ab-” you didn’t get to finish your sentence when he pressed his lips against yours clumsily. you seized up in shock, not returning the kiss as a whirlwind of thoughts entered your mind. holy shit, he was really kissing you. but you hated each other, so why? why, why, why. when you didn’t respond, noritoshi pulled away in panic, spluttering apologies as he moved away from you. your emotional world was in chaos, all the buried and forgotten feelings for him breaking the dams and flooding your senses until the yearning became too much. you were reminded of the conversation you had with your mother years ago - you still wanted him, missed him. you wanted him by your side. desperately, you reached out, fisting the fabric of his shirt as you leaned up to kiss him. noritoshi caught you in his arms, wrapping them around you as he fervently returned the kiss. he was holding you like he was afraid you would dissipate into thin air, frantically pulling you in. his hands were roaming, discovering the expanse of your body.

his touches left you feeling delirious, high on pleasure. a mewl left your lips, pleading him for something, for more. your hands moved higher, feeling his chest and broad shoulders before you wrapped your arms around his neck. his name left your lips in breathy sighs as he peppered kisses down your jaw, pulling the collar of your shirt to the side to gain more access to the expanse of your neck. suddenly, you were hoisted up and pressed against the door as noritoshi held you by your thighs. you struggled to wrap your legs around his waist, to distracted by his relentless ministrations. by the time he's left multiple hickeys on your neck, you were whimpering mess. noritoshi's breath was taken away at the sight of you in his arms, lips swollen from the kisses, the glossy eyes, dishevelled hair and the hickeys that were slowly becoming more visible. he couldn't understand how carelessly you were letting him proceed when you supposedly harboured a strong dislike for him. nevertheless, he enjoyed it and wanted to savour the moment, ingrain it into his memory so he'd never forget why he was treating you like a nuisance.

a loud knock resounded from the door, followed by someone shouting: "noritoshi? has y/n been here?"

out of sheer shock, you shoved noritoshi away from you and nearly fell as you attempted to detangle yourself from him. he caught you in time, signalling you to stay quiet as the person outside was still shuffling around nervously. you slumped against him limply, letting your head rest against his chest. his heart was beating erratically. it made yours fill with pride as you could tell that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. still, the precarious situation suddenly dawned on you - you'd just made out with your sworn enemy and, yes you used to have a crush on him, enjoyed it very much. and by the looks of it, he would have continued if you hadn't pushed him away. the entire ordeal greatly confused you; was noritoshi just playing around with you? it couldn't be, he had initiated it after all. the cold treatment he usually gave you didn't match with his actions just now. you couldn't get close to him, not when he gave you mixed signals. you wanted someone who cherished you and was always sincere so you wouldn't have to second guess their actions.

"huh, i guess noritoshi's already sleeping. we'll have to check somewhere else, i hope she didn't get lost," the person outside mumbled as you stayed silent. the sound of shuffling was heard, then steps away from the room. you stayed put until you were sure they were gone and gently removed yourself from noritoshi's grip, not looking him in the eyes. he didn’t move, letting you go willingly.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know what came over me,” you apologized with a pained voice. “please forget that it ever happened and uhm, please don’t tell anyone.”

noritoshi’s eyes widened at your pleas, moving to stop you from leaving so he could explain himself to you. “y/n, wait, i can ex-”

hastily, you stumbled to open the door, dashing away from him until the building was out of your sight. you poorly hid behind a tree, sinking to your knees as you buried your face in your hands. what the hell. you just made out with your childhood friend turned enemy. your buried feelings were all over the place and your mind just couldn’t stay still. it messed with your outlook as well as your image of noritoshi, distorting and twisting it until you had to rethink your relationship. maybe all this time, you subconsciously hoped that he would return back to his old self and somehow give you an explanation. never having received closure on the end of your friendship, you would even forgive him for the sake of your relationship. were you this shallow? no, you simply harboured a lot of feelings for him. you weren’t able to tell what his thought process was - was he even interested in you? did he see you like that?

“there you are,” you lifted your head to see gojo walking towards you with his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his pants. you almost didn’t recognize him as he simply wore a pair of sunglasses and let his hair down. “the others are looking for you. what are you doing out here? trouble in paradise?”

“n-no! i just needed some time away from everyone to- to catch my breath,” you exclaimed indignantly and perhaps too hastily you realized when gojo smirked at you knowingly. why did everyone assume that there was anything between noritoshi and you? was it that obvious?

“uh huh. that’s not what your neck says,” gojo pointed out while wiggling his eyebrows and offered you a hand to stand up. “he really doesn’t like any competition.”

“fuck,” you cursed quietly, covering the hickeys with one hand while taking gojo’s with your other and pulling yourself up. it was embarrassing enough to meet one of the teachers like this but it was even more embarrassing to know that your teacher had seen the aftermath of your makeout session.

“i’m not gonna tell anyone, if that’s what you’re concerned about. although it would certainly be funny to tease little noritoshi,” gojo was giggling and you knew he was greatly amused by the entire situation. it almost reminded you of nobara. you groaned in frustration as you trailed behind him towards the girls’ dorms. you needed to hide your neck so no one would question it or grill you until you confessed; the potential embarrassment was mortifying.

your group strategy was already falling apart when todo suddenly disappeared in the depths of the forest, not caring about your teamwork in the slightest. normally, it would frustrate you a lot more if you weren’t already preoccupied with your own troubles. todo would be fine anyways, the remaining group members could work on a strategy on their own. as mechamaru and mai were discussing, you shot a glance at noritoshi. he looked as deadpan as usual, probably not listening to the discussion as he worked better on his own and it was more or less decided that mechamaru and him would be moving on their own while the others would team up. otherwise, you couldn’t tell whether he was bothered by what had transpired between you the night before. on the contrary, he looked calm and composed, probably more focused on his goal than anything else. and for some reason it bothered you.

when you’d returned to nobara’s room last night, gojo had helped you make up an excuse. while dramatically gesturing around, he’d told them that he intercepted her journey towards the boys’ dorms to recruit you for training, claiming that he wanted to teach you more about reverse cursed techniques. although he saved you from scrutiny and embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel like he might use it as leverage in the future. it was gojo after all, he was unpredictable. absentmindedly, you agreed to whatever plan the others had schemed and grabbed your sword, getting ready to move to your assigned position with miwa. while you had heard of the other students’ skills, you weren’t sure where to place their levels as there was always room for surprises. underestimating opponents was a beginner's mistake. the bell rang out, signaling the start of the tournament; with swift movements, the group members dispersed and slowly moved towards the "enemy".

in the distance, you could already hear loud explosions - it was probably mechamaru happily blasting away his opponents. you gritted your teeth in annoyance, the blasts were too loud for you to make out anyone approaching you. and as you predicted, someone was taking advantage of the noise to stalk up on you. barely being able to block the blow with your sword, you found yourself opposite of maki who was grinning at you. the challenging glint in her eyes told you that she wasn't going to go easy on you but you welcomed it. it was a good opportunity for you to grow and hone your sword wielding skills.

however, it proved to be more difficult to defeat maki than you'd originally anticipated. in mere minutes, maki had already disarmed miwa, leaving her defenseless and you were hanging on a bare thread. your grip on the sword was weakening, laboured breath making your ears ring. it was frustrating, knowing that after all those months of rigorous practice, you still couldn't win a fight. giving up wasn't an option, at the very least you had to give it your all.

"c'mon, you can do better than this!" maki teased you as you ducked away from the swipe of her spear. it missed you by a hair's width and left you scrambling to create more distance between you so you could heal yourself. maki's relentless hits didn't give you any rooms for it - you really had to learn how to constantly apply it to yourself without losing time. from the corner of your eyes, you could see that miwa had picked up the phone. she was probably calling for help, you thought and dished out another hit towards maki which she skillfully dodged. instead, she delivered another blow to your legs, making your knees buckle from the force. you used your sword to support you and took another breath before you tried to lunge at her. in the distance, miwa suddenly collapsed, making you stop mid-move and took another hit from maki that took all the air in your lungs.

"eyes on your opponent, y/n. you know better than to get distracted in a fight, you could've been killed in a real fight," maki reprimanded you as you coughed heavily, gasping for air as you slowly got back up. you were unsteady on your feet, not having enough energy to even heal yourself. conflicted by whether you should face maki again or help miwa, your eyes were flitting between them. maki took advantage of your uncertainty, dealing another blow to you that knocked the sword out of your hand. as your last resort, you kicked at her feet, trying to get her to fall, only to have her pin you to the ground.

"you're going to have to practice a lot more to beat me in the future," she sighed, picking up your sword. panic welled up in your chest - the sword was the only way you could possibly somewhat win this fight but even subconsciously you knew that it was over. reaching out for the sword in desperation, your vision was clouded with tears. it was frustrating, so so frustrating. why couldn't you be as talented as her? or have fast reflexes like noritoshi? why were you ordinary, not being able to make any progress no matter how hard you try?

"i know but i can't give up now!" you defiantly retorted, pushing at her with all might. "i have to win, i just have to show my skills for once and prove myself, i- i-"

even maki softened up at your heart wrenching sobs, easing up on her grip. you both knew it was over. you were probably already eliminated from the tournament, with no other possibility to redeem yourself. she knew that you tried your best and never once underestimated her but something irked her. it was your motivation, your driving force.

"y/n, there's no shame in losing. that's how you grow, make mistakes and learn from them. you tried your best, it's not easy to stand against me for so long."

"i know but there's- i'm still not where i need to be! look at how much progress the others are making in comparison to me! i've been practicing day and night and still, no one is noticing me. i'm just a measly healer and i-"

"y/n." maki cut you off sternly. "is this your motivation? proving yourself to others? you'll not be able to improve if you keep fighting for others. you need to start working on yourself, for yourself. you don't owe anyone anything. but you have to realize that trying to satisfy other people's needs will only make you unhappy and hinder your growth."

"i'm unhappy with my skills! i keep telling myself that it's okay, that i have a rare cursed technique but sometimes i just wish i had a flashy technique or be as strong as you. i don't want to be looked at as if i need protection, i don't want it! i just-" you hiccuped, sniffling again as you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your uniform. "i just want someone to acknowledge me, want him to accept me as an equal…"

"who?" maki's cold look made you freeze in your movements. you didn't mean to let that slip. no one needed to know that the entire time, you were vying for noritoshi's attention. but she was right; there was no point in giving it your all if it wasn't for yourself. it was a silly, childish dream of yours to be equal with him again. he was far out of reach and you couldn't catch up to him.

"n- noritoshi," you admitted in defeat. maki saw right through you, there was no point in lying. she raised her eyebrows at you but didn't question it further. after all, you hadn't told her about the background story. unless nobara had done so, you wouldn't doubt it.

"i'm not gonna ask you why. but this is my advice, do not fight for somebody else. if you relentlessly work on yourself for your own benefit, you'll see progress a lot faster. your technique might not be flashy but it is powerful, remember that. you're a valuable asset to every team," she concluded and pulled you up, awkwardly patting your back as you still sniffled. maki opened her mouth to tell you some comforting words but froze when another extremely loud boom resounded near the entrance of the estate. your eyes widened at the sudden influx of cursed energy - there was no doubt that a high-level curse had just entered the school grounds. you turned to maki to tell her the news but she'd already moved, pointing to miwa.

"take her to a safe place, you can't stay here! in your state, you wouldn't last against such a strong curse," maki yelled at you as she disappeared in the woods. you scrambled frantically, not wanting to be left behind. while you were useless for the tournament, you could at least still be of assistance against a curse. miwa was still laying on the ground, unmoving. you shook her gently, scared that she was seriously hurt. it seemed like she was just sleeping instead; you were relieved. throwing her across your shoulder, you winced in pain but persisted nonetheless. you had to get her away from here, who knows what curses were roaming around. your senses were flooded with the stench of blood and debris, the pressure of cursed energy, the loud rumbles. you couldn't tell where the others were but you hoped they were safe.

a loud thud startled you and you stopped, ready to draw your sword until realization hit you that it was utahime that was inspecting you. determined, you thrusted miwa's limp body towards utahime.

"miwa will be okay, she's just sleeping! i'm okay too, don't worry, please just take care of her and i'll check on the others!"

"y/n, don't be stupid! you're injured and in no state to help others." utahime attempted to convince you; you shook her off stubbornly, insisting that you were fine.

"what if the others get hurt? i have to help them or at least warn them!" your resolve was firm and unwavering that even utahime couldn't convince you otherwise. slipping out of her grasp, you sprinted towards the source of the cursed energy. from far away you could already see the damage that the curse had caused. multiple buildings were torn apart, trees dislodged and- were those branches rapidly growing out of the ground? you watched in horror as the branches whipped around, following running figures on the rooftop of one of the buildings. upping your speed, you jumped towards the group to aid them. as you neared them, you could make out inumaki, noritoshi, and megumi fighting against the curse, maki trailing close behind.

they barely stood a chance against the curse, every hit that they dealt, the curse would come out unscathed. "what's the deal with that curse?" you asked, panting as you joined them, coming to a halt behind inumaki. megumi was yelling something but you couldn't hear him as noritoshi turned to you and shoved you out of the way.

"y/n, what are you doing here?"

"helping you guys? what the fuck does it look like?" you yelled back exasperated. why was he mad at you in such a situation? they needed any helping hand they could get to defeat the curse. while you weren't useful in fights, you could at least provide continuous healing. noritoshi didn't have any time to reply as the curse lashed out again, dodging it by jumping to the side. you stayed close to inumaki, swiftly healing him when he collapsed from the rebound of his cursed speech. you clenched your jaw, not wanting the others to see that you were slowly running out of energy and strength. next thing you know, a body was hurled through the air, landing near you with a thud. your heart filled with dread when your eyes fell onto the figure, recognizing noritoshi.

"y/n, heal them as best as you can and get out of here! take them to the teachers!" maki yelled out and this time you obeyed, too panicked about noritoshi's state. you were thankful that inumaki had enough energy to run after you'd healed him - hauling noritoshi's tall frame around was already difficult enough but even more so when you were exhausted. as you neared the gates, utahime was already running towards you with a concerned look on her face. you were glad that she was nearby, it meant that gojo and the other teachers were close and could defend you.

"what happened?" utahime worried but you couldn't reply. falling to your knees, you gently laid noritoshi on the ground. the injuries looked bad, there was blood everywhere. you had to stop the wound on his head from bleeding but your trembling hands were preventing you from doing so.

"i- i don't know, i just- i think the curse hit him and now he's unconscious and he's losing so much blood and-"

utahime pinched you firmly, snapping you out of your panic. she was already holding a cloth to noritoshi's temple to stop the bleeding. patting your hand, she told you in a gentle voice: "heal him if you still have enough strength but don't overexert yourself. ieiri will be here soon."

nodding frantically, you placed your trembling hands on his abdomen and let your cursed energy flow. the strength was slowly leaving your body but you had to save him. you had to make sure he was okay, he couldn't die, not like this. regret was bubbling up inside you; what if this was the last time you would ever get to see him?just as you felt his energy responding to yours and saw his hand moving slightly, you couldn't hold yourself upright anymore. the last thing you saw was utahime reaching out to catch you as you collapsed.

you woke up with a startle, gasping for air as you sat up abruptly. sunlight was flooding the room and it felt uncomfortably hot on your skin. you pushed the blanket back but stopped halfway in your movement. your entire body hurt, muscles burning and screaming for more rest. and yet you couldn’t stay still as you remembered the previous events. how long were you out for? was everyone okay? gritting your teeth, you slowly moved out of the room. again, you were faced with the endless maze that was the tokyo tech buildings and stopped in your tracks, not sure which direction to go. you let out a sigh of relief when you spotted yuji in the distance, waving at him to get his attention.

“y/n!” yuji ran towards you, frantically gesturing towards your room. “you’re supposed to be resting! what are you doing here?”

“is everyone okay?” you croaked, now realizing how dry your throat was.

“yeah, ieiri did a good job of healing everyone! some of us are still resting though and so should you.”

“no, i… is noritoshi okay?”

“noritoshi? oh, you mean the guy with the long hair?” yuji nodded, curiously eyeing you as your shoulders dropped, the stress rolling of them. “yeah, he’s still recovering though. ieiri said that his injuries were probably the worst so he’s not allowed to leave the bed.”

“can you take me to him?” you asked with a small voice, doing your best to muster up a puppy face. yuji sighed, scratching his head sheepishly. you could see the conflict in his eyes, that he was thinking about rejecting your request. in the end, he shook his head in defeat and motioned for you to follow him. a small grin found its way onto your lips - yuji was just too nice, he couldn’t say no when people ask him for favours. the walk to noritoshi’s room was silent, neither of you knowing what to say. you knew it was selfish of you not to ask him about his wellbeing more or visit the others but you just had to see for yourself that noritoshi was okay. yuji stopped in front of a door, pointing at it.

“this is his room. he might be sleeping though… my room is down the hall so if you need me to accompany you back to your room, just call me.”

you thanked him quietly and watched as he retreated. taking a deep breath, you knocked at the door and waited for a reply. a few moments passed before noritoshi’s voice rang out, giving you the okay to enter. gingerly, you opened the door and entered the room. noritoshi was sitting on his bed, reading a book as if nothing had happened. you looked at him bewildered. he didn’t look like his injuries fazed him at all. despite the bandages around his head and arms, he remained calm as if nothing hurt.

“noritoshi,” you breathed out, taking a seat on the chair near the bed. he didn’t spare you a look, keeping his eyes on the book. “i uhm. i’m glad you’re okay! when i saw you in that state, i was so so scared that i could lose you… i did my best to heal you, i know i didn’t do much but-”

“i didn’t need your help,” noritoshi snapped at you, placing the book on his lap. “i would’ve been fine without it.”

you were stunned. why was he so agitated? after you initial shock, you huffed in frustration. “what the hell, you could’ve died! i was trying so hard to keep you alive and you react like this? i know you don’t like me but even this is a low blow for you!”

“it wouldn’t have been a problem if you hadn’t inserted yourself into everything! you’re not helping anyone, just dragging us down; everything could’ve gone well if it wasn’t for you standing in the way,” noritoshi countered as frustrated, this time actually looking at you. you stared back at him in disbelief. you saved his life and he had the nerve to shot you down like this.

“does it really hurt your ego to admit that i was actually helpful? we were friends at some point so why do you insist on being such a dick? and here i was, finally thinking that we were getting somewhere- for fuck’s sake, we kissed and-”

“leave.”

you stopped rambling. the tired tone in his voice, the deadpan look on his face; he was serious. you couldn’t believe him. tears welled up in your eyes as you leaped from the chair and hastily exited the room, slamming the door in anger.

you never wanted to see him again.

p.s: yes nobara gave you a wrong sketch of the buildings what about it hehe

taglist: @milkteeboba

#jujutsu kaisen #noritoshi kamo #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo x you #noritoshi x you #kamo noritoshi x you #noritoshi kamo imagines #kamo noritoshi imagines #noritoshi imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #fic: sanguine #writing #i am so sorry for the garbage that you just read

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kikis-writing-world · 3 years

Text

The Reason

Summary: You can’t sleep as you near Moff Gideon’s ship, but neither can Din. He wants to tell you about what happened on Morak.

Pairing: Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Rating/Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 15!!!! Other than the spoilers, it’s all fluff and no editing lol. But seriously, if you’re avoiding finding out what happens in Season 2, Episode 7 / Chapter 15 of The Mandalorian, don’t read this yet. It takes place after, and there’s talk of what happened during the episode.

A/N: It seems like every freaking week I watch the episode and tell myself “don’t write something. Everyone will be writing something, you don’t need to add in your silly fic too.” (Not to say I don’t enjoy reading them, but I just always feel like I won’t be adding anything new.) Well, this week I said fuck it and cranked this little ditty out this morning after the new episode. I hope y’all like it.

Edit: Follow-up drabble here

You sat silently beside Din as the ship - not the Razor Crest that had become your home over the past months, but Boba Fett’s ship Slave I - travelled through space. If the coordinates were right, you were heading into what was sure to be a hard-fought battle but it would be worth it. It was all to get Grogu back.

You willed yourself not to cry as you thought of the little green child you’d come to think of as your own. What he must be feeling right now. Alone and scared while they did unthinkable experiments to him. You’d cried several times since he’d been taken from your care, sick with worry over him. You were sick of crying. Soon would be the time for action, for getting him back.

Fennec and Dune were both sleeping on the opposite side of the bay. You tried to sleep, knowing you’d need your wits about you when you reached Moff Gideon’s ship, but sleep wouldn’t come. Sleep was hard to come by lately.

A whisper to your left surprised you. The low, modulated voice speaking your name. You had thought he was also asleep, reserving his strength for the battle to come. You should have known he’d be struggling to sleep too.

He nodded his head to the side as he unbuckled the harness keeping him secure in the seat. You nodded as you unbuckled your own and followed him to the darkened corner of the hold. You waited for him to sit in the corner, knowing he liked to have his back secured and a view of the room. Instead, he gently led you into the corner and sat with his back to the others. You were too surprised to ask, you followed his lead and slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

He hadn’t said much of what happened on Morak, but you hadn’t been expecting him to. You’d learned long ago he wasn’t one for unnecessary chatter. There were times he tried, for you and the kid, helping to fill the silences as time passed on the ship. Hearing him strain, pushing the boundaries of his usual comforts to ease the minds of you and his foundling, was one of the ways he snuck into your heart.

It wasn’t easy loving The Mandalorian. He was so used to being alone, both physically alone and having few people to trust. It took a while, but you earned that trust. You knew you had. You also knew he cared about you in his own special way. He would take your hand in his larger gloved hand to avoid losing you in a crowd. His hand would squeeze yours when you were visibly anxious. A hand on your shoulder, your back, or your hip as he passed you in tight quarters. Leaning his forehead against yours anytime the two of you parted.

To most these fleeting moments wouldn’t look like much, but you knew the stoic Mandalorian didn’t give these touches lightly. That his keldabe kiss was just as precious as any lip-to-lip contact.

You didn’t fully understand his creed. He answered questions when you asked, but a lot of it didn’t make sense to you, an outsider. Even so, you never pushed him to break it or put him in a position that made him feel like the creed was in danger.

“I know you’re worried,” his voice was quiet. The crackling of the modulator even more prominent as it tried to broadcast his hushed tone. “We’ll get him back.”

“I know.” You nodded, looking down at your crossed legs. If anyone could rescue Grogu, it was the man sitting across from you.

That large gloved hand entered your vision, resting lightly on your knee. A small smile broke through your worry at the man’s attempt at comfort. You placed your hand over his, feeling the warmth of him through the smooth leather.

“I-” He started to speak before stopping himself. While it wasn’t unusual for him to search for his words, he usually did so before starting to speak. By the time he spoke, he was confident and sure in what he had to say. That short, clipped syllable caught your attention in how different it was. He was trying to tell you something, but still wasn’t sure how.

“What is it?” You gently prompted, squeezing his hand with your own.

“On Morak…” He sighed.

“What happened on Morak?” You asked after a beat.

“I did what had to be done.”

His answer confused you. You knew that already of course, but it also sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as you.

“I know that. You got the coordinates. We’re going to find the kid because of you and Mayfield.” You smiled at him, praising him for the success. It was easy to overlook the triumph when it was just a stepping stone to a much larger problem.

“I had to…” He looked away from you as he once again searched for the words. Your smile dropped a fraction with his unease. “I had to take off the helmet.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting him to reveal, but it hadn’t been that. You knew that he had taken the helmet off months ago, but that had been a life or death situation. No one had been around, just the IG droid who had treated his wounds and saved him. This was a mining refinery full of people. Full of imps.

“Are you okay?” You asked, moving your hand from where it was resting on top of his so you could grip his hand fully. “What happened?”

“I-I had to.” He stuttered. “The terminal had to scan my face to get the coordinates.”

“Mando,” you didn’t dare speak his name - something he had shared with you in confidence - with others around. “Are you okay?”

He nodded once. Relief filled your body. You foremost worry had been for him, and how he would have felt to have broken his life-long creed. You supposed with the explosions, anyone who would have seen his face was likely dead. Unless Mayfield had seen him.

His hand slipped from yours as he brought both of his hands up to the sides of his helmet. He started pushing it up and your eyes widened as a sliver of skin was revealed. You surged forward, covering his hands in your own to stop him.

“What are you doing?”

“I want to. To show you.” He explained. His voice came in this awkward mix of his natural timber through the bottom of his helmet and the modulator still trying to pick up his voice. You could see his chin move as he spoke. Your heart was racing. It was the most you’d ever seen of his face.

“You don’t have to.” You told him firmly.

“I think… I think there are reasons to keep it on, and reasons to take it off.” He spoke slowly, like it was something he had been thinking about. You thought of the Mandalorians on Trask who claimed the creed was outdated. You thought of Boba Fett in the cockpit, who wore his newly-polished armor with the pride of a mandalorian despite being without it for years. Thought about him revealing his face for the information needed to save his foundling.

“I want to show you my face.” He told you, his voice unwavering. It was the surety, the confidence you had grown used to from him. “I want to show who I am to the one I love.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his admission. You knew it in your heart, but he’d never said the words aloud to you before. You bit your lip as you felt the tears welling in your eyes again, this time from happiness instead of grief and worry.

“Okay.” You breathed, barely able to find your voice.

With your hands still on his, he lifted the helmet, revealing his face inch by inch. You held your breath as he was slowly revealed to you.

The scruff covering his jaw. His plush lips. The mustache over his mouth. His aquiline nose. His deep brown eyes. His shaggy dark brown hair. He set his helmet in his lap as your eyes scanned his face.

Wow.

You hadn’t realized you had said that out loud until his eyebrows furrowed. That was new. You were used to guessing his emotions through his body language, his tone of voice. Now you had facial expressions to read. He was waiting for your reaction and you hadn’t given him much to go by.

“You’re gorgeous.” You told him. It was the only way you could think to describe the ridiculously handsome man sitting in front of you. You were almost mad at him for hiding his face away for this long.

His lips quirked up in a lopsided grin, a single dimple appearing in his cheek. Maker, you thought he’d already taken your breath away and then this-

“Come here.” He ordered. His natural voice was deep. Rich. It sent a shiver down your spine.

“Huh?” Your brain wasn’t processing. It was in some kind of overloaded state. Din’s face. Din’s voice. Din’s beautiful brown eyes that you could simply drown in.

His hand was on your cheek, pulling you into him. You gasped, holding your breath as his lips brushed against yours. You had dreamed of this, but not a single one of those dreams lived up to the real thing.

He was hesitant, clumsy even as he kissed you. His lips were chapped against your own, the stubble on his cheeks tickling your skin. He smelt of sweat and blaster fire, of fresh air and leather. Maker, you could melt into the floor of the ship never to be seen again and you would have been happy with the life you had lived.

“I love you.” You whispered against his lips. You felt him smile in response.

You brought your hand up to his cheek. Feeling the lines of his face with your hand, you trailed your hand to his hair. It was damp with sweat but so soft. It felt amazing between your fingers.

“Where’s Mando?” A voice across the bay shocked both of you, the two of you shooting away from each other as if you’d been burned. You felt like a teenager who had been caught making out by your parents. You looked over Din’s shoulder as he pulled the helmet back into place - his strategic placement of the two of you making sense now. Not only did he not want them to see his face, but he trusted you to have his back. That thought made your heart speed up even more than it already was.

You saw Fennec shaking Cara awake. Luckily she hadn’t looked in this direction yet. Had Cara woken first, she likely would have seen the two of you.

“Sorry, we’re over here.” You admitted, trying to calm the heat in your face. It was dim in the hold, hopefully they couldn’t tell. “We were talking, didn’t want to wake you.”

“You should be sleeping.” Fennec told you, leveling you with a gaze that truly did make you feel like you’d been caught doing something wrong by a parent.

“I should be sleeping.” Cara grumbled, cranky for having been woken up for no reason.

“Come on. We’re all gonna need to be at our best.” Fennec said, ignoring Cara.

“She’s right.” Din admitted, standing up and offering you his hand. You took it, letting him help you to stand. “Let’s try to get some sleep, cyar'ika.”

Tagging: @wickedfrsgrl @din-damn-djarin @thisisthe-wayson @insideafictionaluniverse

#The Mandalorian spoilers #Din Djarin x Reader #Din Djarin x GN!Reader #The Mandalorian x Reader #Din Djarin drabble #The Mandalorian drabble #Din Djarin imagine #The Mandalorian imagine #Pedro Pascal Character fanfiction #WookieTales

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

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A Little LOKI Theory Post

*SPOILERS FOR LOKI E1-3 BELOW CUT*

I am loathe to admit that I love the new LOKI TV series, mainly because of the Mobius/Loki dynamic, the interesting sci-fi plot, and just... I so far surprisingly like every episode. This was the show I had such low expectations for, because I didn’t really like LOKI – I felt he was the Moriarty of the MCU, overused when they didn’t need him, and making me annoyed by an actor I love.

EXCEPT I’m also a sucker for character-driven, psychoanalysis stories, like all these D+ Marvel shows are, and it’s leaving me super shocked about me liking characters I didn’t before. I’m fully invested in all these characters now.

I think the only reasom I really wanted to see this show for was because it ties directly into the next Dr. Strange movie, so YEAH, I’m in love multiverse and time travel things, so it was inevitable that I would enjoy this show, I think.

AND of course, I’ve theories and speculations because there’s a lot to work with, and I LOVE stories like these, so I decided I would take some time out and stretch out my meta-writing grey cells. And I wanted somewhere to have my theories/ideas written out before they come to fruition, because DAMNIT I have headcanons and hopes and dreams.

So here we go, spoilers below cut. Please note I know nothing about the comics aside from what other theorists and reviewers have mentioned:

The TVA are “the bad guys” but I think it goes deeper than that... Like the whole Timekeeper thing is really sus. I think it’s only one Timekeeper, who is Kang the Conqueror, who maintains the Sacred Timeline to ensure that he stays in power to PREVENT the Multiverse War which I think he knows happened to stop him. I also think Renslayer is behind all of this suspicious thing; I learned that in the comics Renslayer is a love interest for Kang, so like........... SUS.

AND I think Multiverse War they talked about in the beginning of the show IS the Multiverse War they’re ABOUT TO HAVE. This is a show about non-linear time, and there’s hints about multiverses in the next Spiderman, and Dr Strange is LITERALLY called “Multiverse of Madness”. Wild Theory: Maybe Doctor Strange IS one of the Time Keepers following the Multiverse War.

Loki initially wants to learn the enchanting that Sylvie does for his own selfish gain, and I think he was lying about breaking the TempPad so he would force her to open up. HOWEVER, I think he had a sudden change of heart after learning about the TVA’s Variant Staff; we already see him sort of fond of both Mobius and remembers Casey’s name, so I feel like that he will end up using this knowledge he gained very differently.

Further on this point, they established in Ep 3 that TVA agents / staff need actual real memories to “manipulate” them. So, I think Loki will use this power he learned from Sylvie (I mean, she explained to him how to do it, and this show is really good at using the “Chekov’s guns” given to us) to bring Mobius to “his side”, and TOGETHER they take down the TVA and make it what it should be. Mobius is very dedicated to the TVA, so I really do forsee that it will be Loki “freeing” Mobius as the catalyst to swaying to siding with Loki until the end. He’s a good man with a big heart for humanity, so I think he will totally side with freeing everyone else.

On that note, I think the reason Mobius is fascinated with the nineties is because he’s a variant jetskiier pulled from the nineties. I suspect in his original timeline he probably had a jetski accident and died, but in the Variant timeline, he survived, and out of pity I think Renslayer “saved” him and recruited him. The TVA wiped his memories after he couldn’t cope with the fact that he was SUPPOSED to die.

ALSO still on Mobius, I think every time he keeps questioning too much, he gets his memory wiped, which would explain why he never remembers leaving the cup stains on Renslayer’s table.

I think there’s more to Miss Minutes than meets the eye. Another theory I had was that she was similar to VIKI in iRobot, essentially running the company to her programmed “laws” after the TimeKeepers passed on. So like there’s no TimeKeepers at all, but there was at one time, and Miss Minutes was left to her own devices.

Another theory similar to this, is the Doctor Who episode, The Long Game, where everyone wants to be promoted to “Floor 500″ because it’s rumoured to be a paradise and is the top floor no one has ever returned from; It turns out it’s run by an alien that feeds on the human or something similar, and the people who went to the top floor ended up frozen husks of who they were. Not saying it’s this exact thing, but more the idea that everyone thinks what’s upstairs is a magical wonderful benevolent corporation looking out for what’s best for everyone, but instead it’s one evil thing doing stuff for their own purpose. Eh.

Another rogue theory: Mobius IS a Loki variant, which is why he’s obsessed with Loki himself, knows Loki better than Loki knows himself, and either knows and omitted it, or DOESN’T know but naturally is intrigued by the Loki Variant and him always finding out the truth is WHY his memory keeps getting wiped, and why everyone is always squeamish about having a Loki around. Mobius mentioned that Loki is the one Variant they have stopped more Lokis than any other Variant....

On that thought: IF Lokis are the most common Variant they capture, I think a LOT of the TVA are Loki Variants, trapped in the forms they were presenting as when they were brought in, and because magic doesn’t work in the TVA, they CAN’T turn off the glamour, had their memories wiped, and in turn could now be Codenamed Casey, or Mobius, or B15........ An abstract theory, but I think it’s interesting.

And another, since I learned that it is in the comics: Mobius is a clone drone. This one saddens me and I really hope he’s not. Because I love Mobius.

I think Sylvie was a Variant who worked for the TVA, but somehow had an awakening and wants to free everyone else... the only thing against this theory is her seeming surprised that her magic stopped working when she arrived at the TVA. If she was an agent, she would know that magic doesn’t work within the TVA.

And I think this series will inevitably – if the rumours of a Season 2 are true – have the Mobius / Loki dynamic solving Time Crimes... a.... Holmes and Watson if you will. :D HAHHA.

So yeah. This list will change obviously for the next 3 weeks, and I had a lot of fun with this so I will probably keep it up.

Some things I hope happen by the end:

A giant “probably not going to happen because this is Disney”: I hope they pay-off the “bisexual” confirmation by the end of this... highkey with Mobius (damn it I ship them okay), but lowkey just even a passing remark about anyone LOL. I really ship Lokius, okay. I need this dynamic in the MCU

PLEASE DON’T KILL CASEY, we love Casey. #FREECASEY

I’ll be really honest here, I will effing GROAN and be a not-happy Steph if they do the ship that I think they’re gonna do: Sylvie x Loki. Which is weird to me that Disney would be okay with self-love, but the OBVIOUS initial dynamic of Loki x Mobius is too much, “look we gave you bisexual Loki, aren’t you happy enough??” Just. I dunno. It’s weird / a pet peeve of mine that a lot of online reviewers are bitching about “woke” Disney the one time they ACTUALLY FINALLY let a title character say they’re queer, but are all “UWU SYLVIE AND LOKI ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER BECAUSE LOKI LOVES HIMSELF UWU”. Even though Loki spent legit more screen time with Mobius, and literally did everything he told Sylvie that he wouldn’t do around people he doesn’t trust around Mobius ALREADY?? It’s like they already forgot about the first two eps. LEGIT the whole dagger=love metaphor LITERALLY happened in the previous two episodes, but alright chiefs. Anyway. Sorry, it’s stupid to be bothered by it.

We’re gonna get that heart wrench moment that the other two shows had, and I TRULY BELIEVE it’s gonna be between Loki and Mobius when Loki tells / shows Mobius the truth. LOOK I JUST WANT MORE OF THEM OKAY. And I need my heart ripping moment in this show within the next two eps LOL. We got one in WandaVision. We got one in FATWS. GIVE ME ONE IN LOKI. MAKE ME LIKE LOKI.

Anyway, so that’s my rambling. Thanks for taking time out to read all this. I miss theorizing, and this show is perfect for me to do it. I’m not AS good at these shows as I was with Sherlock, but it’s still fun, because it’s new and my brain is full of headcanons and idea things. I’ll write again after Ep 4, I think. <3 Thank you lovelies for letting me do this!

#my ramblings #my meta #my theories #loki spoilers #loki #loki meta #not sherlock #i just really miss writing meta #and i now ship lokius #so give me lokius fics please #long post under cut

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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

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Inside “The Pact”

Hello! For those of you that followed along with The Pact, I received a few questions and requests to get an inside look. I’ll link the post here that explains a bit more about what this is gonna be about.

We’re gonna break this down into sections: first will be answering your questions about The Pact & the characters. Then I’ll show you guys a little about my notes & decision making process (which is very obscure because I just tend to keep a hypothetical tab open in my brain most of the time lol) as well as some pictures of my ideas!!

Thanks for requesting such a fun thing to do now that this series is over. It’s been fun to look back!

Q. What song did the boys dedicate to y/n?

A. “Her” || This is a sad song, but I felt like it fit so well with how the boys had to hide a part of themselves (their feelings) away for the sake of the pact!

Q. Did the boys get mad/how did the boys react to Jungkook’s kiss?

A. Jungkook was a little shocked, and felt extremely guilty on the drive back home. He wasn’t sure if he could stand to tell his hyungs, but he also knew he couldn’t lie to them. Naturally, the second he walked in the house and everyone saw his face, they knew. It was just quiet, everybody was a little hesitant to say anything/bring it up because they were all upset. Only Jimin has heard all of the details of JK’s kiss, whereas the others are simply aware that he kissed her and that’s that.

Namjoon was the most upset, although he didn’t say anything. He just sat there on the couch and did the jaw-clenching thing he always does. Yoongi just tried to change the subject and ask about other aspects of the date. Taehyung was actually pretty pissed, especially because he’d been so good about refraining from kissing you even when you’d asked for it. Hobi had a chat with him later that night and calmed him down. Jin wasn’t angry so much as he was worried that he missed his shot & couldn’t stop replaying his date in his head.

Q. Who fell for y/n last?

A. Namjoon. He’d had a little crush, and that’s why he was willing to go along with the pact. But it hit a point less than a year ago when he fell hard and fast. (you called him in the middle of the night when he was on tour and he realized that your sleepy voice is possibly the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard) The boys noticed and as a result teased him endlessly about it, because he doesn’t quite know how to navigate his feelings.

Q. Who did the boys bet on? (We already know that Jimin bet on Yoongi and won lol)

A. Namjoon bet on JK, Tae bet on Hobi, Hobi bet on JK, Jin bet on JK, and Yoongi bet on Jin, and JK bet on Namjoon (because we all know JK would pick Namjoon lol)

Q. Didn’t y/n ever date other guys? How did the boys react?

A. hahaha ok I actually would have such a fun time writing this Yes, she dated around a bit. For the first year of the pact, she had an on again, off again bf. It wasn’t very serious, and she always made that clear to the boys. They still hated the dude. After they broke up, she only went on a few dates here and there. Didn’t really seriously date. (except for that one time she went on vacation and had a fling, but everyone has decided to forget that) They just smiled and supported her, although Tae was always very clear that he didn’t like any of the guys she dated.

Q. In Namjoon’s date, who was the 1950′s author mentioned?

A. Agatha Christie, the queen.

Q. How did y/n meet Jimin? (he was the one that introduced her to the rest of the group)

A. She was a PR intern for Lee Hyun. Jimin and Lee Hyun are close, and they crossed paths fairly often until Jimin decided to invite her to hang out.

Q. What is y/n studying in school?

A. Public Relations (which will honestly come in handy with her new relationship lol)

Q. Where was Jin in the last chapter when y/n came to the studio?

A. Agh how could you ask me this and bring back all that pain?! Jin was at his brother’s restaurant for some much needed R&R. He ended up staying the night with him, not wanting to go home just yet and have to face his decision.

Q. Who would you personally choose to end up with and why?

A. KIM SEOKJIN. Date #5 was basically for me lol. Like, unapologetically wrote that for myself. Not just because he’s my bias, but because I personally felt like I could picture myself chilling on that couch watching Dateline with him. And it was beautiful. 🤧 Also, while Jin can be loud and goofy, he’s an introvert. I’m an extravert with introverted tendencies, so I just feel like his date would have been the most comfortable for me.

CREATING THE PACT - AN INSIDE LOOK AT MY NOTES

First thing’s first, I have an on-going page in my notes on my phone which is FILLED with ideas & half-formed thoughts. Before I began writing The Pact (or even Spooked, for that matter), this happened:

So you can see that I had no idea what I was doing lol, but I thought that it would be cool. Mainly I wanted an excuse to write OT7 and display all the members in a sweet light. Also, we see that not all of these actually made it into the series. (Tae w/ the family)

BUT THEN, “SPOOKED” HAPPENED, AND A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY POPPED UP

ngl, I cracked up when I looked back at my notes and saw this.

“Sweet Gloria what am I doing to myself” 😂😂 this was when I was pushing “Lost & Found” out and planning for Taehyung’s series (which is why so much is blocked out on my notes, because it’s riddled with spoilers lol) so I literally had no idea why I was jumping into another project as I was already super busy. That’s why I scheduled it for just Saturday’s! (and also why I sometimes posted super late at night lol)

As you can see, Seokjinnie’s date was literally always on my mind. From the very beginning. Which is odd, considering the fact that he didn’t end up being endgame. wow it’s like he’s my bias or something

Occasionally I’d take breaks from hw and work on getting to know how the boys were with y/n. Quotes and poetry serve as a great source of inspiration, and I assigned a quote to each member. (notice the little stars by Jin, Yoongi’s and JK’s names lol, they were my top three as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now)

There were a couple of things that I didn’t think of adding until I was reading through your theories and got an idea of what you needed to push the series in the right decision. i.e. bringing Gina back to explain that she closed the door in Spooked.

I have a whiteboard in my room that I use to map out what I need to do that week for whatever series I’m working on (as well as jot down ideas for new series, which I why this photo doesn’t show the whole board haha)

So here’s a peek at my thought process for writing about how the pact was formed. Sorry if you can’t read it haha

NOW, the last few questions you guys had:

Q. Did you ever change your mind while writing the pact?

A. Yes! I actually originally intended for Hobi to have written the note. It fit very well with how angry he was at first and how worried he was during the date. But by the time I'd gotten to Jin’s date I kinda knew that he wouldn’t be that petty but Jin would haha

I also planned on Yoongi kissing y/n on their date. It was supposed to be on a rooftop somewhere, which we know didn’t happen. In fact, I didn’t really intend for their date to be so disastrous until I was coming closer to having to write it. I think I was a mess, so the date was a mess lol

I had no idea what I was doing for Tae’s date until I wrote it, all I knew was that there had to be a museum. The rest I just made up as I wrote and hoped that it made sense. (also, for some reason I hated the museum portion of the date. Idk why, but it just felt so stark to me. still don’t like it lol)

Q. When did you know how it was going to end?

A. That’s a....difficult question lol. Honestly, I thought of just doing an audio recording and uploading it because it I didn’t really know how to put it into words, but then I realized that most people probably wouldn’t wanna listen to that lol. So here we are.

I had the ending scene in mind before The Pact even became a thing. I knew I had a series that I wanted to end with baking cookies. (weird, I know.) It didn’t exactly go how I planned, but I remember having the thought while writing Spooked (when I thought I was just writing a one shot) that it would be nice for y/n to be with Yoongi. I just instantly felt like they had a connection, when he was the first one she went toward. From then on out, I always kinda kept Yoongi in the background.

I had a crisis about halfway through (right before Jin’s date) when there were a bunch of people rooting for Tae, because he hadn’t even been on my radar. But then Jin’s date went much better than I thought it was going to/received better, so I think that got me back on track.

But from the beginning, Yoongi was #1. (I wrote this in the back of my Career’s notebook lol) when I was trying to figure out for myself who wrote the pact.

So yeah! There you have it! Just an FYI, I had to physically restrain myself from throwing caution to the wind and making Jin endgame. Especially when so many of you were on board. :( However, the survey helped because Yoongi was the majority of votes (closely followed by Jin & JK) and that showed me that we were still on the right track!

Ngl, my brain stopped working around Wednesday of last week, so writing the finale took FOREVER because nothing would compute. But I’m so happy you guys enjoyed it and reached out to me about it! This really is like a part-time job most days, and I really felt like this series paid off.

Hopefully I covered everything! To end, here's the most satisfying part of every project for me:

Thanks guys!

#the pact stuff #b:rants #about me #bts fluff #bts dating au #ot7 bts #bts x reader #ot7 bts x reader

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 282: Aizawa Defeeted

Previously on BnHA: Oh my god do we even care about that at this point. Tomura made a speech; Gran Torino died; Deku lost his shit and tried to strangle Tomura to death with his bare hands; Ryuukyuu came back from Wherever She Was and tried to grab Tomura but he punched a hole through her giant hand; and now he’s grabbing his Quirk-Be-Gone bullets and is ready to cause some mayhem okay?? That about sum it up?? Is anyone even reading this?? CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH IT I’VE WAITED AN ENTIRE WEEK.

Today on BnHA: Well I guess let’s start with what doesn’t happen: Bakugou doesn’t lose his quirk. HE LUCKED OUT!!... for now, anyways. Because, thanks to a near-impossible-to-predict series of events (seriously, raise your hands if you had “Aizawa gets shot but goes full World War Z on his own ass” on your bingo card), Tomura has seemingly regained his regeneration powers, which means that his other quirks are probably back online as well! So we’ll see how that all goes. Anyway so in the meantime Shouto’s back, looking very mad that everyone temporarily forgot he was a main character. And Gigantomachia is back as well! Or almost, anyway. Also, you’ll never guess who broke another one of his arms! Go on, guess. But at least he still has the arm, though, which is more than we can say for certain other people’s limbs. Poor Aizawa is literally on his last leg. He and Tomura really got off on the wrong foot. He chopped his leg off, is what I’m saying. It’s that kind of chapter folks.

you guys I’m losing my whole fucking mind. I straight up deleted the tumblr app off my phone for 24 hours so that I wouldn’t be tempted to log in and risk potentially being spoiled. and I’m happy to say that it worked! so here we are now, completely spoiler free, and let me just say that if Horikoshi decides to cut back to Gunga Mountain now, I will either cry for hours or abandon the series forever and go do something more productive with the rest of my quarantine like learning how to play sad songs on the guitar

all right. here goes

so we’re opening with Deku, who is currently comprised of 100% rage and 0% mercy, and is doing that thing where only the whites of his eyes are visible. and basically he’s just thinking “I’VE REALLY GOT TO HOLD ON TO THIS GUY AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING ELSE HOMICIDAL.” which is a solid game plan, but perhaps not so easily accomplished

-- oh my god this poor kid is still in denial, I can’t. why are you doing this

is there even still a Gran Torino to tend to at this point? after Tomura bulldozed a hole through his torso, and you went and finished the job with your own fucking attack? sob

but I guess the law of Tragic Shounen Mentor Deaths mandates that Gran’s should be at least as drawn-out as Nighteye’s was, though. so he’s probably only Mostly Dead, which is still Slightly Alive if I remember my Princess Bride correctly, and I think I do

so now the rest of these stooges are finally catching up with us here

yes, my friends. a bullet. WELCOME TO MY LIFE FOR THE PAST FUCKING WEEK. anyways I have a LOT of pent-up energy here just fyi. there may be a lot of unnecessary screaming in this recap

FUCKING WYOMING SMASH Y’ALLSSSS

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT JUST HAPPENED SOB. DID HE JUST HAMMER FIST TOMURA’S HEAD INTO THE GROUND. DID HE SNAP HIS FUCKING NECK AT 100%. IN AN IDEAL WORLD HE WOULD HAVE JUST CHOPPED TOMURA’S ARMS OFF WHILE SOMEHOW MANAGING TO AVOID BREAKING ANY OF HIS OWN BONES IN THE PROCESS, BUT I HAVE A FEELING THIS SITUATION WILL NOT BE RESOLVED IN ANY KIND OF MANNER ONE WOULD CONSIDER “IDEAL”

(ETA: fun fact: this attack did absolutely nothing except make things approximately 100x worse. but you tried Deku. you tried.)

THE FUCK KIND OF PORTENTOUS BULLSHITTING TITLE IS THIS. OH MY GOD, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT EMOTION I’M HAVING RIGHT NOW, IT’S JUST A LOT OF LOUD THOUGHTS

anyway so if you’re just joining us, Tomura just pulled two bullets out of his pocket, the good guys finally noticed, and then Deku did a smash and everything exploded. the radius of this attack actually looks wide enough to have potentially involved Aizawa, who probably does NOT want to get any debris in his eyes right now, and also Gran, who probably doesn’t particularly want to be hit by another deadly attack for the third time in the past ninety seconds. anyway so I guess what I’m trying to say here is WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT YOU LITTLE GREEN LUNATIC

AHHHHHH

he got the one!! the one that was in Tomura’s right hand!! but what about the one in his left ahhhhhhh

(ETA: lmao at Kacchan being the one to blow up the same bullet I was so sure he was going to be shot with. saw the writing on the wall, huh kid? what do we say to the god of foreshadowing?? ‘NOT TODAY.’ ...except that we’re still not actually out of the woods yet so you still better watch yourself lol.)

...

based on the font here, these are Tomura’s thoughts. which he is thinking immediately after getting the lower half of his jaw very painfully cronched by the VERY homicidal sixteen-year-old still clinging to him. anyway so Tomura’s thought processes are as inscrutable to me as ever lulz

and Deku’s arm looks broken again, yaaaaay. but at least it’s his left arm and not his right! so that’s nice. now they can match

[SHRIEKS]

HE YEETED IT. IT HAS BEEN YEETEDED. HE DID A YEET. [sobbing] he DiD a YeEt oH my GOD

DID IT HIT SOMETHING!?!?!?

my reading process here is as follows: 1) scroll down exactly one panel. 2) scream even though absolutely nothing has happened yet. 3) WRITE THAT DOWN 4) REPEAT

DKSFJLKHSDLGKHLI

DID IT HIT HIM!?!? DID IT GET HIM IN THE LEG SOB ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. JUST LIKE THAT?? BOOM GUN BULLET LEG!!?

YOU GUYS IT REALLY HIT AIZAWA AND NO ONE DID A GODDAMN THING?? it wasn’t even drawn out or anything??? it just HAPPENED, within like four pages??? NO SLOW MO?? NOT EVEN A REACTION PANEL WHAT THE FUCK

son of a bitch I would so dearly like to grab Manual and RockLockRock’s heads right now and just conk them together real hard. YOU STUPID FUCKS sob YOU HAD ONE JOB!!! IT REALLY WAS JUST ONE!! AND YOU WERE SHARING IT!! SO IT’S MORE LIKE HALF A JOB!! AND YOU STILL COCKED IT UP IN ABSOLUTELY NO TIME AT ALL OH MY GOD

(ETA: they should blow this panel up and make it into a t-shirt and make Manual and RLR wear the shirts every day for the rest of their lives. half a job, you guys. please go away I cannot even look at you right now.)

FUCK MY EVERYTHING

(ETA: I still can’t figure out if this horrific angle is due to the earlier damage from the Noumu, or if Tomura really just flung the bullet THAT hard. honestly I’m surprised it didn’t just slice right through him with that kind of velocity. “no thanks because then I wouldn’t get to write a scene where he chops his own leg off” oh okay well when you put it that way, Horikoshi.)

if I recall correctly this is the leg that he said was “twisted”, no? yeesh. might just want to chop it off real quick, then. s’not like it’s doing you any more good. does anyone know if zombie rules apply or not with this sort of thing?? shit

?!?!

“THANKS”?? okay what. did it hit him or not??

-- oh my god WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT

I WAS -- I WAS JOKING I -- FFFFFFFFKJK

jesus fucking christ. when I said “might just want to chop it off real quick” literally FOUR PARAGRAPHS AGO, I can tell you that the one thing I did NOT expect was for Aizawa to be all, “you know what, that’s a good idea”, and then YOINK OUT HIS TRUSTY HERO SHANK AND GO FULL 127 HOURS ON THIS BITCH. "LALALA WE’RE GONNA DO IT RATIONALLY TEEHEE” like excuse me, the fuck

anyways. I don’t even know what to say. thank you Aizawa’s leg for your sacrifice, and for always supporting him. literally. oh my god I came here ready for my son to enter a new phase of character development, and for the manga as a whole to enter a new phase of glorious, glorious angst. no one told me I’d be sitting here making puns instead. what a fine, confusing day

anyway though let’s just fucking hope it worked. and side note, if Aizawa Shouta really did chop off his own fucking leg just now and somehow STILL managed not to fucking blink, I think we might as well just go ahead and hand him the Biggest Badass In The Series award right now because no one is ever going to top that. nope. not happening

it is truly a testament to Shigaraki Tomura’s unfathomably mysterious sexy villain energy that he still somehow manages to look hot with only half a face

also no one in this manga actually feels pain, do they. not Deku, not Aizawa, not Tomura, no one. no wonder none of them have any self-preservation instincts to speak of

did someone just randomly explode just now. at this point it might as well happen, right

oh it’s the shockwave from Deku’s Wyoming attack, apparently. how nice of it to have a delayed reaction for absolutely no reason

anyway so Deku’s being flung back, but he’s grabbing onto Tomura again with Blackwhip. but oh shit you guys, if Tomura escapes Deku and Ryuukyuu’s clutches and still has any bullets left in his pocket, we may still be able to salvage this Bakugou quirk situation after all. would be nice to be able to actually do something with all of these “happy quirk losing day” balloons that I ordered

(ETA: actually, believe it or not I honestly like this better. Tomura using AFO was always the more dramatic option anyway. and now that we’ve done the bullet thing everyone has presumably let their guard down again, which, good.)

I love how Tomura apparently hasn’t noticed that Aizawa’s just amputated his own leg? to be fair he’s probably distracted by all the explosions and such

also gotta love how Deku’s arm-breaking attack seemingly just made everything worse for no reason. and also how Manual and RockLockRock are once again just standing there doing absolutely nothing

SO NOW GUESS WHAT’S HAPPENING

I MEAN IT! GUESS. BECAUSE YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE LOL

OH WELL OKAY THEN

just like we all saw coming!! ...

so is this Endeavor’s attack?? Bakugou’s?? either way, hot damn. fortunately for Tomura he is apparently operating under the same guidelines as the U.S. Federal Reserve, in which mutilated bills may still be exchanged at face value if more than 50% of a note identifiable as United States currency is present. basically as long as roughly half of him is still vaguely Tomura-shaped I assume he’ll be fine

(ETA: in hindsight I should have immediately been able to identify this as a Shouto attack based solely on how murdery it was lol.)

OH MY GODDDD

KRANCH?!?

OH MY GOD LOL WHAT. LOL. REMEMBER EVERYONE’S THEORIES FROM LIKE TWENTY YEARS AGO LOL. SHOUTO WHAT THE FUCK. DID YOU STOP FOR DRIVE THRU

AND MEANWHILE DEKU’S BACK ON THE SCENE GIVING ARGUABLY EVEN LESS FUCKS THAN BEFORE, IF SUCH A THING IS EVEN POSSIBLE. SO FAR THIS CHAPTER HAS PRECISELY ZERO THINGS THAT I ACTUALLY EXPECTED IN IT, WHICH IS VERY IMPRESSIVE

IT ALSO HAS A LOT OF SMASHING

a LOT. of smashing, guys. feels like... 60% smashing, 20% severed legs, 20% Kranch

-- oh no oh SHIT oh shit oh shit

(ETA: um so I really can’t tell how far that wound extends and whether or not Aizawa still has his right eye, shit.)

first of all how did Deku get here next to Aizawa when he was just over there with Tomura, what. and second, I think Aizawa just blinked, oh shit. probably on the verge of passing out after CHOPPING HIS OWN LEG OFF which STILL hasn’t been acknowledged yet?? did I just completely misinterpret all of that back there or what

(ETA: there was seriously so little attention called to this that I scrolled back up to confirm it probably like half a dozen times. apparently Horikoshi thinks that THE MOST BADASS THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE MANGA should be completely downplayed. whereas if it were me, there’d be an entire two page spread of JUST THE LEG. WITH MUSIC PLAYING. EVEN THOUGH IT’S A MANGA.)

YEPPPPPPP. fuck

look at him though. he’s so happy. this is why I can’t stay mad at you no matter how deranged you get you little maniac

so is quirk-stealing back on the menu then or what. don’t think I’ve been lulled into any kind of false sense of security by any of this lol

-- ARE WE SERIOUSLY CUTTING AWAY

so Todoroki really went after them ALONE. the better to put his dad right back up at the top of the Lose Your Quirk Sweepstakes finalists. well... second-to-top, maybe. like I said I will not be lulled

yuh-oh

why do I feel like the odds of Gigantomachia arriving to herald the end of this chapter just shot up DRAMATICALLY

so the next page is almost entirely just a list of cities that the news anchor is telling people to evacuate because they’re in Machia’s path. along with a bunch of dead heroes lying around everywhere, and Ochako being all ominous

(: weren’t they, though? heh. this is going to be so, so bad (: (: (:

-- fuuuuuuuuuuu

aaaaaand that’s it. hahahaha. okay then let’s summarize

Bakugou defied all expectations and kept his quirk (FOR NOW)!

Aizawa cut his own fucking leg off and it WASN’T EVEN REMOTELY ACKNOWLEDGED FOR REASONS I CAN’T UNDERSTAND (R.I.P. AIZAWA’S PRECIOUS LEG. YOU ALWAYS PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD)

Kranch showed up after 157 years and is probably wondering why the heck I keep calling him “Kranch” now. THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU’RE MIA FOR A WHILE MY LITTLE STARBUCKS CHRISTMAS CUP

Deku broke his arm for the 78th time

Tomura regenerated but seems to think Aizawa’s quirk is actually gone for good, which I’m pretty sure it’s not. so if they can keep him from destroying everything long enough for Aizawa to turn it back on again, we might possibly still survive this

and lastly, Machia is about to kill all of these stupid people frolicking around outside of this fitness club who are probably so proud of themselves for not being glued to their phones 24/7 because they prefer to LIVE LIFE IN THE MOMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. well that’s on you my friends. at least it’ll be a quick death. ffff

#bnha 282 #aizawa shouta #shigaraki tomura #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #sorry for all the leg puns #it's in my nature #I can't help it if I find this kind of situation humerus #...oh no wait that's arms #dammit

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lunaekalenda · 3 years

Note

I'm sorry for sending yet ANOTHER request, I just love your writing so much 😭

What about Soulmate AU where you can feel the pain your soulmate feels?

The reader is Zeke's soulmate even though she's from Paradis and with the Scouts, so she definitely feels the pain when Levi decapitates Zeke (he killed Zeke before the rumbling begins).

(I was thinking of this as platonic levi x reader? The Soulmate thing is with Zeke just to be more dramatic 😂)

hiii!! omg thank you so much! also your ideas are really cool, and i’m really happy to see your user on my requests!! <3 i hope you like it <3

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ levi x reader, zeke x female!reader (kind of ??)

❁ death, spoilers from the manga, blood, again swearing against zeke lol, canon violence, non canon events!!!! btw sasha is alive because sasha <3

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

You feel small punctures on your hands. Again. It’s been a whole day feeling them, as if you are squeezing needles in your hands. It was harmful and really uncomfortable, but when you looked at your hands, they were smooth, without a cut.

“That’s because is your soulmate who’s getting hurt there.” Hange told you, once you found them out of their tent. They were holding a book, and Moblit was following them, carrying some more. Hange looks at you, their gaze low, looking directly to your hands. “Anyway, whoever your soulmate is, is probably making you regret all your training period.” You laugh. You were specially headstrong during the training. It didn’t care how many times you fell or how many wounds you got. You kept training and fighting without a break. Maybe your soulmate felt all that pain too.

In the other side of the map, Zeke Jaeger is crushing rocks with his hands. The little fragments of broken rocks make cuts on his hands. He clenches his jaw and throws them, hitting some enemies. He feels Porco’s titan fast steps behind, probably trying to break the machines. Also Pieck’s fighting near him, as usual. He feels all his body tired and the blood in his hands is starting to get dry. But he keeps fighting. Maybe that’s why destiny made him your soulmate.

Sometimes, you can’t even differentiate if you’re feeling bad or if he is the one feeling bad. Your bodies are connected in a way that even biology can’t explain. But, considering that you never met - or so do you think.- it's kind of weird. Having a soulmate wasn’t rare, half of the population has it. You’re meant to find each other and be together. You walk back to your barricade, thinking about it. Maybe he’s one of the Corps soldiers. Someone who might be very resistant to pain. Someone strong and...

“Oi, have you seen Hange?” Levi asks. He’s in front of you, and he has some books in his hands. It seems like he’s helping Hange as well. You look behind you, where Hange was a minute earlier. They're gone.

"They were here a couple of seconds aho, but I guess they moved..." You saw Levi was looking behind him, to a table full of books. You guessed that all those heavy books were the ones Levi and Hange were moving. You take some of them as well. "It's not necessary..." he says, but you're taking four books now. Walking again towards him, you look around, searching Hange and Moblit.

"Didn't they told you were they are moving the books?" Levi sighed before clicking his tongue.

"That four eyes... They didn't say anything about it because I told them to leave the war room free for new reunions, so they moved all theyr shit." he says. The books are heavy and he has been holding them for a time now, so he's kinda edgy. He walks towards a tent in the sand, near the one where the Special OPs squad sleep. Connie was out of the tent, looking at the sea. Behind him, Sasha was taking care of a bouquet of white roses.

Pain hitted you like a train, literally. Zeke's body was so tired that the train hitted his titan's legs, making him and you feel the pain. You fell, crying of the high level of dolor. Levi left the books near you, on the floor, and Sasha and Connie walked fast toward you. You were there, feeling like your legs got crushed. Levi took your boots out easily, and, looking at you for consent, raised your pants to the knee. Your legs where perfect, as always. You couldn't stop crying. Even when Levi, a total hater of affection and physical contact, started to massage them carefully. Sasha took some cold water from the sea on a jar, and put the cold metal jar on your muscles, trying to ease the pain. Connie gave you potable water.

In Marley, Zeke was also feeling a lot of pain. His legs were totally crushed and smashed because of the fucking train. He knows that his human form will repair his muscles once he's out of the titan, so that's why, searching Porco's company, he leaves the titan's body. Porco covers him while his intern muscles get easily cured. In Paradis, your legs start to feel a bit better, and you're able to feel something more than pain on them. Something like the smooth touch of the Captain. Levi keeps massaging them, doing little circles and looking at you.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks. You nod. "What happened?"

Since everybody respects someone who has a soulmate, Levi is not different to the rest. Once he knows that you have a soulmate, you'll have 0 opportunities with him. Even knowing that he probably doesn't feel the same for you, having that little unknow will play at your favor. If he does feel something, you'll just ignore all the pain your soulmate is giving you. After all, you two are people with different lives and nothing more than a stupid bond between you. You have no affection towards him because you don't know who he is, to begin with. And, also. maybe the feelings you have developed for the Captain doesn’t let you think about any other person.

At least from now.

“Yes, yes. Thanks, Captain.” he shakes his head, as if he was saying that you shouldn’t thank him.

“Your pain has been increasing lately, doesn’t it?” he asks, in a whisper. It’s normal for him to care about you, after all you’re one of his soldiers. You move your legs. They just feel heavy, but the pain has been gone. “You should rest here a bit. I’ll call Connie . He’ll make you company while the meal isn’t ready.”

Levi lefts the tent quick. You have been here stuck for months now, after you killed all the titans left in the island. You know there’s a bigger enemy than the colossus humans that killed a lot of your comrades and friends. You remember once the pain was so bad, like if someone had cut your arms and legs and then just put a thunderspear on your abdomen. And it exploded. You were conscious of every single organ of your body. You were unable to walk for a week. Your soulmate was really fast healing, so you have the belief that he is a titan. No doubt.

Ha, you’re bonded with a titan shifter. What if that one is the one that Levi promised to kill?

You shake your head when Connie enters.

“Oh, wow, you look better!” he says. You smile at him and he sits near to you. Connie is basically your best friend here, and he was always trying to make you feel better.

“Yes, I’m feeling way better.” you answer. Connie gives you a glass of water, “Thanks.”

“Your soulmate must be having fun, doesn’t he?” Connie and Hange were the only ones you told that you’ve probably a soulmate, but lately, the magnitude of the pain that man has to resist was a really obvious indicator of your bond. Probably, the Captain also knows it just because of intuition.

“He definitely is. for sure.” You say, after drinking all the glass. Connie puts it on a near table. You let out a sigh. “Y/N, listen, maybe you should tell the Captain. Like, he’s the Captain of our squad. What if your soulmate looses an arm and you fell in the middle of a battle?” But you don’t want to leave the Corps. They are your family, your most treasured ones.

“But I don’t want to leave...” you whisper. Connie sighs and looks at the front, through the window.

“You don’t have to leave. Just work here, as a healer, or...”

“I want to fight. With you all. I don’t want to make Levi lose another soldier. We’re just seven on his squad. He needs all the people capable to follow his pace.” It was true. Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Sasha and you, with Levi, are the most capable soldiers of the army. That’s why all of you are in the Special Ops squad.

Later, Jean brought you the dinner. It took you a bit to start to train again, and time passed. Eren announced the rumbling, and Levi told you all the plans for the mission.

❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁

"Just execute the plan. We just have to stop the rumbling, even if that means killing Eren." The plan made all your comrades uncomfortable. Specially the ones that suffered with him all this time, those who saw him grow and express his ideals. That’s what you were thinking when, time later, you’re fighting hand to hand with the squad. Titans are everywhere and you only can see blood and hear screams. Jean is near Pieck and there’s a weird sensation growing up in your chest. Like if you knew what was about to happen to your soulmate. Levi was behind you. A big stalactite can be seen, at a figure seems to be on top of it. A blonde boy you met, knowing that he was a shifter. You can see him from Falco's titan's back.

Maybe he is your soulmate?

If someone kills him and your supposition is true, that means you’ll be in problems.

Levi looks at him, his gaze full of anger. He goes near him, using the ODMS and, taking out his blades, before you could react, he decapitates him.

You felt like your soul was about to leave your body, how your head hurts so much that it seems like it was about to fell off your shoulders. You can’t breath and your lungs seem to stop working. Levi comes back and found you screaming of pain.

“y/n!” he yelled. Taking you with him, he puts you again on Falco’s titan back. You search his eyes, lying down on the soft back of the titan.

“He... was m-my... soulmate.” Levi opened his eyes with horror.

“I’m so sorry, I... I didn’t know that.” he says.

“I didn’t either.” You say, but your voice was breaking because of the pain screams. You hold your head, like if you wanted to avoid it from getting parted away from your body. It hurts so much.

Levi holds your head softly. Your neck feels really bad, but it is starting to heal slowly.

“Sorry.” he whispers. “I didn’t want to hurt you in any way.” It was okay. No one knew that Zeke, the man that he promised to kill, was your soulmate. So it was not his fault. Your face is full of tears, but you show him a little smile.

“It’s okay. After all, we weren't mean to be together.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a better man.” he says, while Falco keeps flying.

I hope so, you think, while his warm hands caress your hair, trying to make all that pain disappear.

#aot fluff #aot x reader #snk fluff #snk x reader #snk fic #aot fic #aot scenario #aot fanfiction #snk headcanons #aot #levi shingeki no kyojin #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi aot #levi x you

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crimefightingspiderguy · 3 years

Text

i remember thinking i had you

Summary: Based on the request sent in by @peter-maximoffsbitch “Hey! I saw your requests were opened and I wanted to ask if you could write a Peter x reader on a lazy Sunday morning? Ya know just some sweet domestic bliss ♡ Thank you!”. I started off doing the domestic bliss/lazy Sunday thing, then I ended up getting carried away because I couldn’t help myself. So this has that sweet domestic bliss side, but it also has a touch of angst and then back to happy bliss.

Warnings: Spoilers for WandaVision

Pairing: Evan Peters!Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver x Reader

Word count: roughly 4,537

A/N: Was I totally listening to August by Taylor Swift while writing this first half? Yes. Yes I was. Also, your powers in this are supposed to be like Rouges, but it was sort of hard for me to describe them without saying her name as an example lol. Also this is my first time writing for Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver, so sorry if it is a little rough in some places. I hope this is what you’re looking for and a little more! Let me know what you think, feedback is always welcome!

Peter woke up laying almost exactly how he’d fallen asleep. His head resting on you, arms tucking behind your back. Only this time, instead of singing a soft melody in his ear as you brushed your fingers through his hair, you sat reading a book. Peter rolled over so he could look up at you,

“Morning.” He said through a yawn.

“Morning.” You smiled down at him, peaking past your book, only briefly. Putting your free hand back into his hair, causing him to melt into your hand and let out a content hum.

“I love it when you do that.”

“Oh, trust me, I know.” You let out a small giggle. He reacted the same way every time you went to touch his hair. A simple sigh of relaxation, a content hum, and a visible relaxation in his body.

“Whatcha reading?” He asked, eyes closed so he could fully appreciate your presence.

“A Tale of Two Cities. It’s for the literature class I’m taking.”

“Is it any good?”

“I think so. It’s pretty interesting, especially considering it’s partially based on real events.”

“Will you read it out loud?” He requests, you nod and pick-up where you left off. He lays patiently while you somewhat stumble your way through the book. It’s written with some older slang terms, making some of it hard for you to read quickly through, but Peter didn’t care. He cared about listening to the fluctuation in your voice telling him how you were reacting to a certain event, cared about your breath going in and out, cared about your steady heartbeat under his head. These were the only moments he could be completely still when awake. When you grounded him, allowing him to take things slow and appreciate every single moment of life. The sun was shining in on your skin, lighting you up in a way that seemed almost angelic. It was pure bliss.

The warm memory of that delicate August morning helped you wake with a smile on your face. The first time you’d genuinely smiled in weeks. It has been too long since you felt the warmth Peter brought to you, too long since you woke to his snoring vibrating through your chest, too long since you got to run your hands through his hair and hear his sigh of content. It’s been about three weeks since he disappeared. No one knows where he is still and how to get in contact with him. The last time you saw him you were sitting out in the front lawn of the school with his head in your lap as he listens to his music through his headphones while you worked on homework. You’d taken a break to stare at a nearby bumble bee landing on a flower. It was calming.

“I’ll be right back” Peter said, getting up with a confused look on his face.

“Where are you going?” You started to ask but was cut off by him zooming away. You shrugged and went back to looking at the bee, he wouldn’t be gone long. You were wrong though; he was gone long. He never came back.

You wiped away the tears forming on the brim of your eyes. You thought you had all the time in the world with Peter. You never thought he would leave you, especially not like this.

“Y/N”

You jumped, scared out of your mind. Sitting up and looking around like a madwoman. It was his voice.

“Peter?” You called out to him. “Jean? Is this some sick prank? Because I can tell you it’s not funny.”

“Y/N help me.” Peter called out to you.

“How? Where are you?” You asked quietly, realizing the voice was definitely not Jean, she could get into your head, but not like this.

“Come to me. I need your help.” Peter’s voice started to fade.

“No… Come back, tell me how to find you!” You start panicking. But just as quickly as the voice came, it was gone. You frustratingly fell back onto your pillow, almost trying to slam yourself into unconsciousness. At least there you would be with Peter. But what was that voice? You ran through the obvious thoughts, ‘I’m going crazy. It couldn’t have been him. Simply me imagining things because I was dreaming about him.’ But something about those excuses didn’t sit right with you. ‘Maybe Peter was reaching out? Maybe he found a way to contact me, like cerebro? Maybe that’s the key!’ You quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the long hallway where the device is kept. Your powers were confusing, in the way that you had no idea what the limit was. You were able to “absorb” other abilities. You wouldn’t take them from them, but you were able to use them if you touched the person and concentrated. At this point you were able to do a lot of the basics that could help you get to Peter. You had Jean’s telepathy, Kurt’s teleportation, Peter’s super speed, and your own strength and skill from training, you could get to him and save him. In your rush, you hadn’t even realized you bumped into Beast.

“Hey kid, what’s the hurry?” He asked you, startled.

“I have to find Peter.” You said, a wild look had over-come you, in your right-out-of-bed look.

He began to question you further, but you just began running. With Peter’s speed, you got there in a matter of seconds. Students weren’t really allowed in this area unless with Charles, but you could care less right now. You were getting Peter back. You broke into the room and quickly put on the helmet, homing in on his voice in your memory. You searched and searched when finally, it became clear again. He was calling out to you again.

“Come on Pete you gotta give me something to work with.” You searched his distant and fuzzy mind for anything that could give you a location. You saw that he was currently talking to a woman named Agnes. You couldn’t hear what she was saying but based on the worry pressing in on you from his mind, you figured it wasn’t too good. “Pete, I need you to look around the room for me. I have to be able to clearly visualize where I’m going.” Through Peter’s eyes you saw the room as he quickly looked away from the woman. It wasn’t much, but it might just be enough. You took cerebro off and clearly visualized Peter, that woman, and the room they were in.

You landed with a cloud of blue hanging in the air. Right in front of you was Peter and the woman you assumed was holding Peter hostage in some way.

“Peter!” You ran to hug him, but he just stumbled backwards.

“Woah there toots. You don’t waste any time, do you?”

“Who are you?” The woman Agnes asked, grabbing your arm.

“My name is Y/N and I’m here to take my boyfriend home, even if it means I have to kill you.”

She began cackling, “Kill me? Honey I’m hundreds of years old. You couldn’t kill me in your dizziest daydreams.” She still held your arm, you began concentrating, seeping her power into your body. Allowing you to feel how powerful she was. But at least now the fight would be even.

“So, what are we gonna do with you? I can’t have you running around telling people who he is. No, I need him to play his part well.”

“What did you do to him? What do you mean play his part?”

“Well, you see honey, I need your little boy toy here to be my eyes and ears.”

“He’s under your control? So, he doesn’t remember me?” Your heart cracked a little at the thought. You didn’t even need her to confirm this, you could see into his mind and see the haze over his memories from home.

“Mhmmm, how about this. I could use you both if we go about this the right way. So, Pietro dear,” Peter’s eyes flickered away from you to her. “Stick to the plan, introduce yourself on the show tonight. And you little lady are going to be the new neighbor in town, introducing yourself tomorrow, so you can keep a watch from a distance, and if Pietro here were to fail, you could swoop in and take over.”

“What am I supposed to be watching for?” You asked.

“I need some information out of his sister Wanda, and you two are going to help me get it, or you’re never going home.”

The next day you woke up in an unfamiliar bed. Looking around, you saw Halloween decorations everywhere, and in your closet a single costume. You were going to dress up as a cowgirl. You rolled your eyes, “how original” you muttered to yourself. While Agnes thought she had put you under the same spell as Peter, she was very wrong. You were able to block her out but played the part of brain-washed zombie well enough she let you and Peter go. You didn’t dare say anything other than a good night to Peter as he went to this Wanda’s house and you went a house over from Agnes’s. You got ready and went down to the first floor of your new home to find a snoring Peter laying sprawled out on your couch. ‘This is it’ You thought, my chance to take him and never look back. But what would stop Agnes from following you? She found Peter once. You knew if you planned on making it out of here, you had to make it through today like she planned. Then you might be able to bargain yours and Peter’s freedom or even just make a break for it. You walked around to the front of the couch and sat cross-legged in front of Peter. You missed him so much, but it seems he’s been unable to even think about you other than the subconscious plea he called to you with. You ran your hand through his hair and saw a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. He released a soft sigh and you saw his visibly tense shoulders relax.

“You found me” He muttered.

“Peter?” You gasped; does he remember?

“Who else would it be? Jesus?” He laughed at his own joke and you let out a sob that you’d been holding in for way too long. His eyes shot open and before you knew it, he was up and pulling you into his lap on the couch, holding you close. He began drawing shapes on your back, trying to calm you. “Shhh… it’s okay. I’m here now, and I’m not leaving your side until we get out of this hell on earth.” Your shoulders shook with the force of your crying. After a couple minutes, you were able to calm yourself and wipe your eyes dry. “Better?” He asks, pushing your hair back from your face. You nod your head, “Good, because we have a big day ahead of us. Playing along with Agnes’s little game, then getting the hell out of dodge.”

You and Peter headed over to Wanda’s house together. On the way, he caught you up on the things he was supposed to do, pretending to be Wanda’s brother and convincing her to tell him how she created this fake little world. You were holding his hand up to the point of Wanda’s front door. Peter dropped your hand and you felt he warmth slowly seeping out of you again as he turned around and said “showtime” to you.

He rang the doorbell, and it was answered by a small child, probably the age of 10. “Uncle P!”

Peter ran into the house, throwing the boy and the other one nearby over his shoulders. He ran them round and round in circles as they playfully screamed and laughed their heads off.

“Someone better be bleeding or dying.” A woman came down the stairs dressed in a red costume. She stopped when she saw you awkwardly standing in the doorway. You could feel her trying to get inside your head, so you gave her slight access. Enough to see you were new in town and Peter was helping you meet new people after he bumped into you on the street.

“And who is this?” Wanda referenced you, as if she didn’t know.

“Oh, this lovely lady here is Y/N. I met her on my way to your house this morning and she’s new, so I thought why not introduce her to some neighbors.” Peter said as he put the boys down and zoomed next to you, putting a hand on your back to slightly push you forward to greet Wanda.

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks at the ‘lovely lady’ comment, ‘good, she’ll believe our story of being strangers’ you thought in the back of your mind, somewhere you weren’t letting her gain access to. You held you hand out to her and she took it with slight hesitation, but when you showed her you meant no harm, she relaxed slightly. In that brief moment though, you were able to gain even the slightest access to her powers, and you took the oppourtunity.

“Wanda” She told you.

“It’s nice to meet you Wanda. I just live two houses down actually, so we were bound to bump into each other at some point.” You let out a small innocent giggle, “But Pietro here was just bursting with energy at the chance of bringing me to meet you.” Wanda gave a smile to Peter and quickly noticed his hand still resting on your back. You could see in her mind that she was picking up the idea that Peter thought you were cute and wanted to impress you.

“Why don’t you join us for trick-or-treating tonight? You could meet more people around town, and by the looks of it you’re already dressed for the occasion.” She waved at your cowgirl get-up.

“Yeah, I was hoping I wouldn’t be the only one dressing up all day. Love that costume by the way, so cute on you!” You complemented her.

“What are you supposed to be mom?” One of the boys asked,

“Old red riding hood?” The other one seemed to finish the thought.

Peter snickered, “I’m actually a Sakovian fortune teller.” She said forming an invisible crystal ball with her hands.

“That’s so cool!” One of the boys said at the same time that Peter seemed to say “Lame”, the boy quickly fixing his previous statement, and copying the “lame”.

“It’s worse than the costumes mom made for us the year we got typhus.” Then the strangest thing happened. It was a flashback, that all of you could see, playing in your head. Peter did mention that we were on some sort of TV show Wanda created, so maybe it was supposed to be a character flash back?

“That’s not exactly how I remember it.”

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma”

Just then the boys grabbed your hands and pulled you away from Peter and Wanda.

“Wanna see our new game?” They asked, even though their determined pulling you away was more like “Come see our new game, now.” But, of all the people you’ve met so far, these two boys had the purest minds. They weren’t clouded by anything or anyone, they weren’t being controlled, so you knew their question wasn’t scripted or forced, just them being kids.

They pulled you to sit down on the ground with them on either side as they showed you how to play with them. You kept an eye on Peter’s mind, and you saw that he was smiling at you and the boys. Wanda’s mind was slightly louder than the clouded Peter, and she was now looking between you and Peter curiously. You looked a little bit deeper into her mind and realized she was suspicious of Peter. He didn’t look like her actual brother, or even act like him. But she was starting to put that aside, since he had given her no real reason to not trust him yet. She was now fascinated though, with his reaction to you. She could tell he acted different when he turned his attention to you.

You quickly left Wanda’s mind, sensing that she was starting to feel someone in her head. Peter zoomed over to you, sitting on the coffee table, resting his legs on either side of your torso. He wrapped his arms around you and helped you play the game by putting his hands over yours.

“Hey! No cheating Uncle P!” The boy who introduced himself as Billy said.

“It’s not cheating, just teaching!” He put his hands up in self-defense. But quickly replaced them over yours to help you get ahead of the boys again.

Just then, you heard someone else come down the stairs. You heard his conversation with Wanda, and gathered he was her husband and the twins’ father. Wanda told him about you being new in town, and you saw in her mind her leaning closer to his ear and saying, “I think Pietro has a crush on her.” And pulling back from him with a smirk on her face. The man named Vision gave a soft “ahh” and nodded in understanding. As soon as Peter had rushed behind you, he was gone.

“Sweet costume bro-ham-in-law. Let me guess, traffic light? Half-shucked corn? A booger!”

“Yes…” Vision said, clearly over Peter, but you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

Peter pumped his fist in the air and came back behind you and continued to help you play the game, but that was after he handed all three of you sodas and showed them how to shotgun it. “One, two, three, go!” Peter exclaimed as you all tried to down it as fast as you could. You actually finished first and turned around to smash the can into Peter’s head. You were able to do it fairly easy, and you heard the thought run through Wanda’s mind, ‘Wow, she’s pretty strong… I wonder… No. I would see it in her head’. You turned back around making sure to go at a normal speed. The last thing you needed was for her to find out you were a mutant and hiding something from her.

Later on in the day, you, Wanda, Peter, Tommy and Billy began walking through the streets, on the hunt for candy. Peter was running around with the boys, leaving you and Wanda alone to talk. It was then that you felt the presence of Agnes in your mind. You made sure to keep the conversation light, to not make Wanda suspicious, but to maybe hint towards the information you needed.

“So, what made you come to Westview?” Wanda asked.

“I started thinking about moving about a month ago, this was close to the city, but not too close, and it had some good property up for sale. So, I took a leap of faith and ended up here.” You smiled at her, “What about you? How long have you been here?”

“Oh, not long, just came here to start a family and live sort of mundane suburban lives you always hear are so great and perfect.” She laughed lightly to herself.

“How’d you meet Vision?” You could feel Agnes approving of your questions in your head, encouraging you to go on.

“Oh, ummm… We were friends before we got together, so I’ve known him for a while.” Agnes was getting frustrated at how vague Wanda’s answers were. “Pietro seems to have his eye on you.” Wanda pointed out Peter standing behind the kids as they were grabbing candy from a couple, watching you and Wanda closely.

“Quite literally” You chuckled.

“I’ve never seen him act the way he does with you. You… slow him down. Not in a bad way of course, but you can tell from the way he’s been acting around you, it’s like he’s scared to let you go. Like you’ll disappear. Are you sure you just met this morning?”

“Yeah, but he did talk a million miles an hour before he brought me over to your house, so I feel like I got his whole life story” You laughed, feeling Wanda’s suspiciousness suppressing for the time being.

You took over walking with the boys for a bit while Peter tried taking a shot at getting some information out of Wanda.

“You’re very confusing.” Billy said to you.

“Why’s that?” You asked, looking down to the boy staring at you confused.

“You have a bunch of different voices in your head.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, “You can read minds like your mom?”. Great one more person you had to block your thoughts from.

Billy nodded his head in hesitation, “I think, I’m not sure. It didn’t start until just now. It’s like all of the sudden I can hear everything and it’s a lot. It kind of hurts.”

“Here, let me show you a trick” You got down to his eye level and said, “close your eyes, take a deep breath in, then out. Focus on the sound of one voice, my voice. I know you said I have a couple but pick the loudest one and stick with it. Follow it like a string. Open your eyes.” Billy did as you said, “Better?” He nodded and smiled.

“How did you know how to do that?”

“Well between you and me, I have a few tricks up my sleeve too.” You put a shushing finger over your mouth and then cut your thoughts off from him.

“I can’t hear you anymore.”

“I know, because I’m not letting you. If you want to focus on someone else you can, if it helps. Or the voice you focus on is your own. Tune the others out and just think about your own thoughts. It can be hard when you have loud thoughts around you, like your Uncle P. His thoughts are the loudest in the area. But after some practice, you’ll be a pro just like your mom.”

Billy smiled up at you as he realized just how loud Peters thoughts actually were.

The trick-or-treating was going by pretty quick especially with Peter eventually taking over permanently and zooming around the town with the boys. You were walking with Wanda again.

“I heard you helped Billy.” Wanda said to you, “How did you know how to control the mind reading?”

“Oh, just a trick I picked up from a friend of mine.”

Wanda narrowed her eyes at you a little, “You’re lying. You’re blocking me out and hiding something. I can feel it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Really. I have a friend who can read minds and she told me how she controls it and how she focuses.”

“Then why are you shutting me out?”

“Because I don’t like people being in my head. I’ve got too much going on as it is.”

“Who are you?” Wanda stopped you and held you still with her magic.

“My name is Y/N and I’m new in town. I can promise you, I mean you and your family no harm.”

“Then show me your mind. Completely.”

You sighed and let Wanda in your mind. She saw everything, from when you got here, to your life back with the XMen, your life with Peter. The only thing she didn’t get access to were your memories of Agnes. You assumed Agnes herself put a lock and key on them in case this exact thing happened.

“So, you’re here for Pietro or Peter as you call him. I knew there was something off about you two.”

“Please, we will leave with no fuss. Just let me take him home.” You pleaded with her.

“Fine, but I doubt your teleporting power will work to get you out of here. It’s not strong enough.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be able to get out. I also possess some of your magic. The exact type of magic that will let me and Peter through safely.”

“Leave.” Wanda gave you a threatening stare, not too happy with the idea of your magic matching hers. You used Peter’s superspeed to get to him as quick as you could.

“Hey Pietro, can I interest you in a late-night stroll through the park?” You asked him, trying to stay casual.

“Why of course m’lady.” Peter stuck his elbow out for you to grab. “Why don’t you two demons catch up with your mom.”

“Ahhh, really?” Tommy whined.

“Hey, stay cool. When a pretty lady wants to take you somewhere, you follow suit.” He winked at them.

“Dad?” Billy randomly burst out in a confused tone, “Dad!” He started to panic.

“What’s wrong Billy, what do you see?” You asked him.

“I can’t tell, he’s too far away.” By now Wanda had made her way over to her freaking out child.

“Focus. Follow the string. Follow his voice.” You told him

“He’s hurt. There are a bunch of soldiers around him.”

Wanda tensed up and her eyes started glowing red.

“Relax sis, it’s not like your dead husband could die twice.” Peter said, trying to diffuse the situation, only it did the exact opposite. Wanda whipped around and shot a red blast his way.

“I said leave!” She yelled at you. You nodded your head and zoomed over to where Peter landed. He was unconscious, but you pulled him in your arms and using the combined magic of Wanda and Agnes, and your teleportation, you thought of home and pulled the two of you out of there. You were worried at first that Agnes might try to stop you since you weren’t successful in your mission to get information out of Wanda, but she didn’t stop you. You assumed it was because Wanda knew you two were not who you said you were, so you wouldn’t be helpful anyways.

You woke up lying in your own bed at home again. For the first time, in a long time, Peter was lying next to you. He was awake already and was watching you carefully.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he push your hair off your forehead.

“Better now that we’re home. How did I get in bed?” You specifically remember teleporting you and Peter to Charles’ office so you could tell him what happened.

“When we got back you collapsed from the effort. Charles said your mind was awake, but tired and you used too much magic and power for what you’re used to. I was so scared you killed yourself.”

You shook your head, trying to remember anything after you left Westview, but you just couldn’t, “How long have I been out?”

“About two days. I’ve been so restless, just waiting for you to open your eyes. Poor Jean, I kept finding her to read your mind and make sure you hadn’t died. You were scary still.”

“Well, I’m awake now, and you’re home with me. That’s all that matters.” You pulled his head onto your chest and started to play with his hair. He hummed in content and relaxed into your body.

“I know I just slept for two days, but do you mind if we just stay in today?” You asked him.

“We can do whatever you want.” You could feel a smile forming on his face, against your skin.

“What I want to do first though, is pee.” You rushed to the bathroom, letting Peter’s face flop into the bed as you shut the door behind you. You heard him laughing. It was so good to hear his laugh again. To feel his warmth linger on your skin, and knowing when you returned he would still be there. That’s all you’ve wanted for the past three weeks.

Find more of my work here.

My work is exclusively posted on Tumblr by me, on this blog. If you see my work posted elsewhere, please reach out to me.

Thank you, xx.

#peter maximoff #peter maximof x reader #quicksilver #quicksilver x you #quicksilver xmen #quicksilver x reader #quicksilver x y/n #marvel #mcu #mcu x reader #wandavision #wanda maximoff #wandavison spoilers #the vision #billy maximoff #tommy maximoff #evan peters #xmen

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cheri-translates · 4 years

Text

[CN] Victor’s Colours of Rain Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

This date is dedicated to anyone who’s had a tough and tiring week in school or at work 🥰

The date begins with MC heading to the office at the ungodly hour of 6am, right after landing at the airport.

She’s tired but has to sit through a sudden and lengthy meeting with Yuelai Entertainment (“Yuelai”).

Yuelai is a reputable company which suddenly changed its mind regarding establishing a long-term partnership with MC’s company.

The representative from Yuelai bears bad news, saying that a partnership is unlikely due to budget constraints. MC asks for another chance to redo the proposal, but Yuelai gives her a vague response and leaves.

MC feels downcast because her staff members have been working very hard on the proposal, and all their efforts seem to have gone to waste. Anna tells her to rest, but MC wants to create a new proposal to change Yuelai’s mind.

She heads to Victor’s office later in the morning to present her weekly report. She starts dozing off.

A fountain pen taps my forehead. My eyes snap open in shock, and I am faced with an expressionless Victor.

Victor: Don’t get distracted during the meeting.

MC: Only the two of us are here…

I mutter under my breath, letting out a yawn.

Victor: Stayed up late again?

MC: I had a late flight, so I spent most of the night in the airport. And there was a sudden meeting at the office this morning…

I rub my tired eyes, feeling dejected as I recall the bad news from this morning.

Victor stops flipping through the material in his hands, raising his head to look at me.

Victor: Have you been feeling tired recently?

MC: Not really.

I deny instantly. Victor pauses, frowning slightly.

Victor: Just look at your eyebags. Even the pandas in the zoo recognize you as their relative.

MC: It’s just that everything is packed together so I’m busier than usual. I’ll be fine after getting through this period!

Victor: You’re really doing fine?

I nod without hesitation.

MC: Mm, I can handle it!

Goldman showed me Victor’s schedule for these two weeks, and the extent that it is filled to the brim is shocking. Compared to him, my workload is not worth mentioning.

Victor: Do you have any work this afternoon?

MC: Why do you ask?

Victor: I’ve read through your proposal and there aren’t any big issues. Go back and get a good rest. You’re not allowed to stay up late over the next few days.

I pause for a moment, look at the pile of work on Victor’s desk, and take out my laptop.

MC: I’ll stay here with you. Being able to stay with you is my best form of relaxation.

Victor: …up to you.

Victor lets out a sigh, a smile slipping onto his face.

Victor: How’s the deal with Yuelai Entertainment?

MC: This… I’m still not sure about their final decision.

I avert my eyes, even more determined to create a perfect proposal for Yuelai Entertainment.

MC is just about to ask Victor for advice when she receives a call. She has to return to the office to deal with a difficult guest on their talk show.

After that, MC finds one of her staff crying from stress

Thinking of how to comfort her, MC recalls the many trials she faced since Ch 1 of the main storyline, and how she plowed through them all

After that:

I finally have a short break and I rub my sore temples, the fatigue built up over the past few days overwhelming me.

The weather is fine and the leaves are swaying in the breeze. I stare at the clouds and find myself suddenly missing Victor. The time spent with him this morning was probably the only time I felt relaxed in days.

Someone from Yuelai calls MC. While MC’s company crafted a very unique proposal, Yuelai sees no future in having a long-term partnership with a small company like MC’s. Yuelai hangs up on her before she can even negotiate.

Depressed, she decides to walk home because the next bus would only arrive in an hour. To make things worse, it suddenly starts pouring.

The rain is so heavy that the bag she uses to cover her head slips out of her hands, her items falling all over the ground. Her neatly arranged documents get drenched too.

I want to escape from the spotlight. I don’t want to face tomorrow. I want to find an empty corner and just burst into tears.

The phone lying in the water vibrates, signaling an incoming call. I rub my swollen eyes and reach for my drenched phone.

MC: Hello?

Victor: Where are you?

My voice is lodged in my throat. It never crossed my mind that Victor would call me at this very moment. I take a deep breath and pretend to answer in a relaxed manner. I didn’t want him to hear that I was about to cry.

MC: Why are you calling me at this time? I’ll be home soon, what about you?

Victor: …I see you.

MC: What did you say?

Victor: Turn around.

I follow what he says and am met with blinding headlights.

The car stops. Someone steps out of the car, opens an umbrella, and walks towards me.

Under the amber streetlights, his silhouette becomes clearer in the rain.

I stare dazedly at Victor, thinking that I’m hallucinating. The tears I had been suppressing threaten to overflow.

Victor frowns and looks at me, letting out a sigh.

Victor: How long do you want to stay in the rain? Come here.

I rub my eyes. Not caring how embarrassing I look, I rush into his arms.

The feeling of acid that has been accumulating in my heart finally escape. I bury my head in his chest and burst into tears.

The umbrella is tossed aside. He places his outercoat over me, and the residual warmth disperses the cold.

Victor: You’re crying so badly. Seems like you’ve suffered a lot.

MC: I’ve already worked so hard… I’ve tried everything… I don’t know what to do… so that I can be even better…

I speak and pause through my tears. Victor pats my back gently, his actions slow and tender.

Victor: I know. You’ve already done very well. I can see that.

His voice is impossibly gentle in the gradually lightening rain.

After some time, the rain finally stops.

I look up at him with my reddened eyes. The Victor standing in front of me still doesn’t seem real.

Water droplets from the trees above pelt onto his shoulder. Even the front of his shirt has a large patch from absorbing my tears.

MC: This isn’t a dream right… you… why are you here?

Victor doesn’t answer. He gently wipes a tearstain off my face.

Victor: To fetch a dummy home.

In the car, MC realizes that she has lost her house keys in the rain so she’s unable to return home.

Victor: We’re heading to my home anyway.

MC: Y-your home?

I suddenly think about the sight of me sobbing my heart out earlier.

MC: Victor…

Victor: What is it?

MC: Can you forget about my whole bawling incident just now?

Victor: Don’t worry, I’ll get my outercoat sent to the dry cleaners tomorrow.

MC: …

Victor: What happened today?

Faced with this sudden question, I don’t know where to begin. Maybe it was the sudden meeting with Yuelai Entertainment this morning, maybe it was dealing with the difficult guest, maybe it was the heavy rain…

Maybe the culmination of all these things left me helpless and made it clear that I am not as strong as I thought.

MC: I realized that I’m not as capable as I thought… the more ambitious I am, the more helpless and small I feel when met with failure… I feel like a good-for-nothing…

Victor: You really are stupid.

MC: Why are we on the topic of my stupidity again.

I mutter softly, but turn to look at him curiously.

MC: You look like you’ve never lost control of your emotions before.

Victor: I have.

In the tranquil evening, his voice becomes quieter.

Victor: I’m no different from you. There are many things I cannot do or force to make happen. It’s okay to not be strong, it’s okay to not do well. You don’t have to bottle up your emotions.

I stare at his side profile, recalling what he had once said to me—

Victor is also an ordinary person.

[Note] She’s making reference to Victor’s Understanding the Human World date

Victor: I won’t tell you to keep holding on no matter what difficulties you face. That isn’t realistic. There will come a time when you will become an even better version of yourself who will have enough courage and experience to deal with all of this.

I suddenly have a realisation.

MC: You are an ordinary Victor, I am a mediocre MC. Everyone will definitely experience joys and sorrows in life. It’s just that people have different thresholds of endurance.

He laughs lightly, not denying my words.

Under the gentle streetlights, he pauses. It is as though an inordinate amount of time passes before his voice reaches my ears, but every word is crystal clear.

Victor: But before that, I hope you can learn to rely on me. At least with me, you always have the right to be vulnerable.

After they reach Victor’s house, he towels her hair dry and covers her with a quilt. Victor prepares to take a shower and asks MC to get him a change of clothes.

When MC enters the bathroom, Victor is in a state of undress – his shirt is half-open and his tie hangs loosely off his neck.

MC places the clean clothes down, but slips on her way out because - I kid you not - she keeps thinking about how she can see Victor’s abs through his shirt lol

Victor: Be careful!

Victor’s warning comes too late. I lose control of my body, falling against Victor. I hear a pain-filled groan from behind me.

Feeling something warm, I have a bad feeling as I lift up my head.

Under the bright lights, Victor pushes himself off the ground with his palm, leaning his back against the white tiles. His fringe is messy, beads of water on the tips of his hair.

His wet, half-translucent shirt sticks to his skin, revealing a sculpted abdomen that is usually covered and hidden.

The shower hose is at the side, and the sound of water continues to resound.

My line of sight trails from his leg upwards and finally settle on his handsome face. I feel slightly dazed.

Victor: Seen enough?

MC: No…

I bite my tongue before the words leave my mouth, trembling as I remove the hand that is still on his chest.

MC: One misfortune after another, haha…

Victor: Stand up. How long do you intend to sit on the floor?

Victor stands first before pulling me up. He then retrieves a towel to wipe off the water droplets on me.

Victor: There really isn’t a single moment when I don’t have to worry.

After this, MC chills on the sofa in the living room and looks around.

She sees her proposal on the table. Wondering what criticisms Victor has in store for her, she decides to flip through it:

Unexpectedly, every page is filled with more comments than usual.

“Not bad”

“There’s some improvement”

“Worthy of commendation”

Not only are there praises that I don’t normally see, but there are also extremely detailed examples and analysis.

A CEO who has a thousand things to do each day is so detailed and meticulous?

I can’t help but let out silly laughter, my fingers trembling lightly. I gently touch the handwriting that belongs to him.

In my most fatigued and embarrassing moment, Victor was the one who came to me with a hug.

He is the only island that I, a little boat which has drifted off course, can rely on.

Victor: Why haven’t you gone to sleep?

MC: …I can’t sleep. I was waiting for you.

Victor has stepped out of the bathroom and is now standing behind me.

He wipes his damp hair with a towel, water vapour faintly surrounding him. He looks at me, his line of sight following my actions to the proposal on the table. He looks surprised.

MC: I promise I’m not working. I was just looking around… and saw this.

I nod towards the red-coloured comments and cast him a smile that says: “I understand everything”.

Victor: I was just curious to see whether a silly technique of encouragement would be beneficial to you.

I’m not surprised that he isn’t speaking from the heart…

MC: It’s not silly at all, and it’s extremely effective! I recommend that you use it very often!

He ignores my teasing, walks around the sofa, and sits beside me.

I look at Victor, whose profile has been caged in a halo. Only the sounds of our breathing echo in the quiet air.

Victor: Your eyes are still swollen.

I subconsciously touch my eyelids.

MC: D-does it look ugly?

Victor: Mm, very ugly.

There is a smile in his voice.

MC: …then stop looking!

I lower my head dispiritedly, pulling the quilt over my head.

Victor: You dummy.

He looks even more deeply into my eyes. The breathing that falls on my ear is very gentle, very steady, and very long.

Victor: From now onwards, I’m the only one who can see your crying face.

💧

Phone Calls: First // Second

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc victor #this is my favourite Victor date #(not just because of those FINE abs)#I revisit this date quite often because it heals the s o u l

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