#I’m genuinely curious about all this but reader I feel that I may begin to grow unwell | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lincolndjarin · 6 months

Text

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty six : crucifixion

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 12.7k

summary : judgement day.

warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.

a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.

i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!

“My room is too big.”

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world.

Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence.

“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.”

“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it.

“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face.

“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.”

“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile.

“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.

“What were you like, as a child?”

“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly.

“I would sew.”

“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.

“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces.

“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care.

“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.”

“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”

“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you.

“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored.

“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”

“Do you still know how?”

“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking.

“What were their names? Your parents?”

“Clara and Arin Djarin.”

“Those are pretty names.”

“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”

“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him.

“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest.

“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”

“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you.

“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.”

“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair.

“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave.

Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today.

“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.

“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.

“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.

“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.”

“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future.

“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”

“The cabin’s a bit small for us.”

“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.”

“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again.

“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.

“Little Djarin’s?”

“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.”

“You’d want him to live with us?”

“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this.

“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question.

“Kids?”

“How many would you want?”

“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk.

“Maybe five? Or six.”

“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs.

“Or five.”

“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off.

“How about three?” Three is manageable.

“Counting Grogu?”

“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that.

“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.

“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible.

You could always make parts of it real.

Someday.

“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”

“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father.

“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.”

“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’”

“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious.

“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that.

“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?”

“We’ll manage.”

“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would.

“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss.

“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father.

“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”

“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.”

“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks.

“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist.

“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”

“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh.

“It was a silent mutual agreement.”

“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle.

“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that.

“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”

“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks.

“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?”

“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile.

“Let’s start with one and go from there.”

“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours.

“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.”

“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”

“Like… actually leaving Naboo?”

“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze.

“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen?

You never talked about that night after that.

When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises.

It was just talk.

Lysa came to get you from the dining room.

After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again.

You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.

“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried.

“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…”

Kriff.

You never talked about that night after that.

Maybe you should have.

You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation.

You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless.

“I’d like to go to bed.”

“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door.

“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could.

“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that.

Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret.

“Goodnight, Lysa.”

“Goodnight, princess.”

You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet.

It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you.

You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.

Just you, hopefully.

☆

You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo.

You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute.

Where is he?

Is he okay?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Mostly that.

The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after.

But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?

“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”

How morbid.

Not that you’re above being morbid.

You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family.

The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded.

It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious.

It makes you want to poison his wine.

But you don’t have poison.

And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now.

That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian.

“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.”

It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him.

“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.”

You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now.

“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child.

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it.

You don’t ask for any follow up.

You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself.

You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to.

So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers.

Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright.

You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open.

Lysa?

“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall.

“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?”

“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”

“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.”

“Do you want to see him or not?”

Din.

You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently.

It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness.

“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.

“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her.

The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.

Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore.

The wailing.

Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.

“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands.

“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days.

“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”

Oh.

“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you.

“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell.

Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing.

She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face.

“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.

Both eyes.

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.”

Oh gods.

You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room.

It isn’t like Elaine’s cell.

There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him.

Maker.

What have they done to your Din?

You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this.

Armorless.

They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner.

They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.

Did they see his face?

You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.

“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue.

He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him.

He assumes you're here to harm him.

You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly.

“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears.

“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face.

“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay?

Technically no.

But far better than he’s doing.

“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs.

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”

“How’d you get down here?”

“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.”

“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed.

“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.

“I- I don’t want you to look.”

You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look.

“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.

You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently.

You shouldn’t have waited so long to look.

You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him.

You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.

And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait.

Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup?

No.

It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation.

You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time.

“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.

“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all.

“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.”

“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his.

“What else can I do for you?”

“Nothing. Being here is enough.”

If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair.

“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process.

“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here?

“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.”

“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain.

“Anything. I’ll do anything.”

“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”

“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried.

“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”

When they separate his head from his body.

“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him.

The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him.

“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears.

What do you say now?

What do you say to a man condemned to death?

“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic.

“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest.

“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well.

“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”

“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.”

“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter.

Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time.

Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.

The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more.

“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours.

“I’ll always be yours.”

That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons.

☆

It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning.

You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.

There is no plotting or scheming to free Din.

Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet.

He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it.

After all, you're just a doll.

You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his.

And time blends.

You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting.

So you wake.

And you sleep.

And you walk.

Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant.

You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night.

“Please, just a few minutes-“

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”

Din won’t live to see next month.

“Is he eating?”

“He won’t let me-“

“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.”

She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he eats.”

“Thank you.”

That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa.

She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry.

You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now.

You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room.

The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room.

Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors.

He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage.

“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?”

Your heart flutters at the thought.

They escaped.

Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.

“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.”

God's you hope not.

Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.

“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate.

So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.

They got out.

☆

You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite.

They look miserable.

All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head.

A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head.

The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.

Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.

“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup.

“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself.

“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents.

The silver, shimmering contents.

Din’s helmet.

Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor.

Empty.

You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you.

You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands.

“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully.

You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.

Huh.

It takes a moment.

You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box.

Bloody and pink, a tongue.

Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue.

No, no, no, no, no.

You had loved his tongue before anything else.

He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.

You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.

Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand.

“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish.

No.

“Come on, where are your manners?”

Please.

“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.

“What was that?”

You clear your throat.

“Thank you.”

He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed.

In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box.

You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box.

You have never been hateful.

Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed.

And the music starts.

It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention.

You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it.

You move on to the next thing.

You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter.

Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.

And it isn’t enough.

Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.

There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob.

Maybe you are a hateful person now.

You feel as though you have every right to be at this point.

You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.

Happy coronation day.

You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.

☆

A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.

You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep.

You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.

Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him.

“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you.

He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.

“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat.

“I thought he’d reward me.”

You laugh. A harsh dry sound

“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.

“I thought he’d give me a lordship.”

You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips.

“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.”

A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes.

“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”

“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand.

“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face.

“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom.

“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face.

“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it.

“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so.

“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you.

“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”

“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point?

“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”

All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash.

You barely look at them.

You hate them.

You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them.

You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind.

A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine.

New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here.

And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair.

There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave.

☆

The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it.

Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?

You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough.

For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down.

Someone left you a small vase of flowers.

You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.

Daisies.

After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle.

Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first.

You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.

Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out.

A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.

Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse.

You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.

In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned.

His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you.

He’s a mess.

You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps.

He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.

Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to.

“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away.

He didn’t want you to look.

You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue.

You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear.

Fuck it.

You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.

A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror.

This is it.

Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street.

And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.

You had expected more. More time.

A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it.

But no.

There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him.

That moment never comes.

You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom.

Just like that, he’s gone.

When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone.

In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.

The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.

☆

You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life.

So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point.

You scream.

From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw.

If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream.

You shriek.

You howl.

And you wail.

You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up.

You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw.

And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame.

You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market.

Your failsafe.

With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it.

Sarad’ika,

If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of.

The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape.

You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging.

Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you.

As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other.

In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine.

And lastly you will find your vibroblade.

Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.

I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you.

Be smart.

You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness.

So seek those things out.

Be safe. Be happy.

I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours.

an ner kar'taylir darasuum,

Din

All my love.

You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.

Din, who was yours.

Din, who they took from you.

Who Kodo, took from you.

And your grip on the knife tightens.

☆

Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now.

They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was.

When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things.

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone.

All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be.

New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door.

Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful.

You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about.

Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you.

If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address.

One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you.

Another vase of flowers.

You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up.

A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room.

☆

Maybe it’s been three days since Din died.

Maybe it’s been three months.

You aren’t sure.

You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone.

And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards.

You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching.

“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you.

You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now.

“Wife?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin.

“I knew you’d come around eventually.”

He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.

What a joke.

You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.

“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion.

You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.

“You- you knew?”

He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight.

“How long?”

“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.

He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.

Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor.

“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.

He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist.

You look him up and down, one last time.

Your loving husband.

One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly.

I’m sorry.

Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do.

You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks.

Be smart.

You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest.

He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.

You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now.

How dare he look surprised by any of this.

After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse.

So you remove the knife.

And you stab him again.

And again,

and again,

and again.

Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion.

He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.

You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria.

But it never comes.

It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would.

Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob.

This was never going to bring him back.

You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace.

They won’t execute you.

You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.

Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t.

Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child.

Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.

You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels.

Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter?

You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo.

A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore.

“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks.

“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at.

New Leo.

Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you.

A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.

So you hug him.

You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.

“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you.

You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer.

And it clicks.

All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong.

And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.

“Din?”

☆

a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol

I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!

#lincolndjarin #the mandalorian #best kept secret #bks #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian smut #din djarin smut #pedro pascal #din djarin/reader #din djarin/you

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readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure · 1 year

Note

Congratulations to (almost) 500 followers! 🥳 Let the fun begin. I'm curious about L & 12 for the precious Darkling. Maybe the darkling never admit his feelings for the reader and now it seems like it is to late for any confessions... Thank you for the opportunity for this special prompt game. 🥰

Thank you. And thanks for all the support you have given me over the past few months. 🥰

I had my outline for this one almost finished before I realised you probably wanted one where the reader is arranged to marry someone else, making the Darkling think it's too late to be with her. But unfortunately my brain had already gone down a different road, and this plot bunny had already made residence with no hope of getting rid of it.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the end result, even if it is different from what you were expecting. As you say, let the fun begin!

---

L. Arranged marriage 12. ‘I’m trying to help you, dammit!’

Kirigan watched as you hopelessly tried to clasp the necklace behind your neck. It was a fiddly little thing, and you had been trying to put it on for the last five minutes to no avail. He had offered to take care of it for you, but you had just about bitten his head off when he so much as stepped close to you.

Not what he had ever envisioned married life to be like, but then again, yours wasn’t a normal marriage.

Two months ago, the King had announced to Kirigan his plans to marry off his niece to a suitor of his own choosing. One month after that, the two of you had been married.

The worst part was that Kirigan genuinely loved you. He had done for ages. Your position in the Grand Palace meant that the two of you had met frequently, and you had developed a mutual respect. Some would even call it a friendship. And you were just so… kind. And cheerful and beautiful and smart and a million other things that made falling in love with you impossible to resist.

He had never admitted his feelings, however. You were not Grisha and he would lose you in the end, so he had preemptively shielded himself from that pain.

And now it was too late to change his mind. He doubted you would ever love him now that you had been forced to his side. You wouldn’t even let him put a damn necklace on you.

‘Please, milaya,’ he said. ‘Just let me do it for you.’

‘I told you not to call me that!’ you snapped as you once again failed to loop the chain into the clasp. ‘I don’t need you.’

‘I’m trying to help you, dammit!’ he snapped back. He regretted it immediately, but there was only so much of your stubbornness he could take. ‘Why must you fight me on every little thing?’

You put down the necklace and then turned to face him, eyes narrowed and full of righteous anger. ‘What did you expect?’ you seethed. ‘For me to be an obedient little wife? Someone who is happy to be nothing more than a pawn in some political chess match. Well, tough. I am neither of those things and I will continue to make sure you don’t forget it.’

‘I am not responsible for this,’ said Kirigan through gritted teeth. ‘The marriage was your uncle’s idea. Not mine.’

‘But you still accepted,’ you said, surprising him. He hadn’t realised you had known about that part. ‘My uncle gave you the choice. You could have said no to the whole thing. But you didn’t.’

‘Because then he would have given you to someone else!’

That, you hadn’t known about, judging by your shocked expression.

At your fearful look, he sighed and lowered his voice. ‘The King had a whole list of possible suitors for you. I was just at the top of it. He would have let them do what they would with you as long as he got an advantage out of it. I know I am not who you would have chosen for a husband, but I couldn’t let something like that happen to you.’

You may have shared a bed, but Kirigan had never touched you. And he never would, not without your consent.

He doubted the other men on the list would have had the same reservations.

‘Why not?’ you asked in a small voice. Kirigan wasn’t sure if he was saddened or insulted.

You must have realised how your question had sounded, because you soon rephrased it. ‘I mean, why do you care so much that you would make such a sacrifice for me?’

He would have liked to have been able to say that it was for completely selfless reasons, but that would have been lying. You weren’t totally unjustified in your anger towards him. He did have completely selfless reasons… but he also couldn’t stand the thought of you being someone else’s wife.

‘How could I not?’ he asked instead. When you didn’t answer, he held his hand out. ‘Please, milaya. Let me be a proper husband for you. Let me help. That’s all I want.’

You stared at his hand for a moment before you picked your necklace back up and carefully placed it in his palm. You turned around, baring the back of your neck to him.

He fought the temptation to bend down and kiss it.

Instead, he draped the necklace around your throat; no more and no less than what he had offered to do.

‘I would have chosen you,’ you said suddenly, making him fumble with the clasp.

He got it secure on the second try, but he didn’t step back, frozen in place by your words. He met your eyes in the mirror in front of you and saw the same longing that was in his own.

How had he ever missed it?

You turned, bringing you both chest to chest, so close that you were sharing the same air. ‘If I had known you cared so much, my uncle would not have had to put you on a list.’

His response to that was to crash his lips to yours, pouring all his hope, longing, and fears into the kiss. It was only a second before you were returning it with equal passion.

Maybe it wasn’t too late after all.

#please don't anybody let this set a standard for prompt response time #I got real lucky with this one #darkling prompts #the darkling x reader #darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader

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pompompurinwrites · 2 years

Text

Idia x GN!Reader (Smut)

This is my first smut😭I swear I will get better also I tried so hard to make Idia in character so I hope he really is<3

TW: smut, Yandere-ish behavior

Word count: 1.1k

(when I use italics it will mean inner monologue/their only think it in their head)

Idia had thought of you many times before. About how you looked so hot, how you always seemed to smell amazing even in gym class, the way your uniform pants really accentuated your ass.

He lived and breathed to see you under him and taking every inch like the good puppy you were. He wanted you. He needed you.

This time he will have you all to himself. There is gonna be no Grim, Ace, Deuce or any of your other friends to come In-between you two.

Idia found the perfect way for you two to be alone together. He had Ortho ask you weeks ago to do this anime marathon with him and to his surprise you said yes. Maybe you said it out of pity or maybe you said it because you genuinely wanted to spend time with him, either way it don’t matter because you’ll be with him.

*knock*

“Idia, its Y/N, are we still gonna have the marathon or are you not feeling it?”

🦗

“Idia?, should I-“

“NO! Hold on I’m getting the door!” Idia tucked away his inappropriate thoughts and grabbed the door handle tight enough his knuckles turned white. It’s happening! OMG ITS HAPPENING!! EEEEEEEEE!!

“H-hey, Y/N I thought I told you 9:00, It’s only 8:30?” Idia was delighted you arrived earlier it just means more time with you but he wasn’t prepared mentally for you yet.

“I thought we could start it early!” You became a little flustered “I also wanted to see you a little sooner.”

Idia was baffled. His hair started to turn pink and, now so was his hair. You wanted to see him? He can’t wait to show you what he really planned.

“C-come in!” Idia moved out of the way so you should slide in.

“I have everything set up and I bought all your favorite snacks and drinks!” Oh great seven let them love it!!

“Thanks Idia, I brought you some snacks and drinks too!” You giggled “Sooooo, should we start?”

“Y-yeah, yeah!”

☁️☁️

“Idia, you have been acting funny for the past 30 minutes.” Your eyebrows furrowed “What is wrong?”

“I’m g-good!” Idia slowly started to feel the sweat come down his face.

“You don’t look so good, should I get Ortho?” You couldn’t tell what was up with him. Is it me? Did I do something to upset him?

“Y/N, p-please, uhh, well I-!”

“Oh!” You look at Idia then look down.

Idia’s length was beginning to look pretty prominent in his pants.

“I’m sorry, I can’t control myself when you look like that!” Idia was bright red “You look so hot!”

You go to move away from him but he grabs you by your wrist. “Please, just sit and stay!” Idia’s voice is very desperate and, yet a little threatening. You sit and stay. Just like you’re told.

“Touch it, now.” Idia’s once weary voice turned commanding.

“I don’t know how.” Idia’s gaze falls on you but only for a second. Grabbing the edge of his pants and boxers he slides them down. Slowly his nimble fingers touch his member. He them takes it into his hand and reaches for yours. You let him, your curious.

He switches his hand for yours. You grasp it firmly and squeeze. Idia let’s out a soft gasp. “Y/N, up and down.”

Slowly working your way in an up and down motion was really working on him. He kept clenching his fists and panting.

“Am I doing good?” Your voice sounded so sweet to him he could only nod. You were not oblivious to the acts of sex nor were you to porn, you know what you had to do.

You move your body closer on the bed. Lowering your body and head so it’s closer to his length. Before you can put your mouth on it Idia pushes your head down hard, if it wasn’t for your hand in the way his shaft would be to the back of your throat.

Up and down. Is all the went through your head, it felt so good to be used like this. Idia may have been seen as some social regect but that man is really packing.

“Y/N, good so good.” Idia was encouraging you to move your hand so you can take more. Sucking, slurping, pants, and moans were all that filled the room, not even the TV could drown out the noise.

“I have wanted to do this since I first seen you.”

“You’re Perfect.”

“I need you and, only you.”

“Y/N, can you take all of my cum?” Idia looked down at you and continued to slam your head down, sloppily, and quicker than before. “Please, please, swallow all of it.”

You feel a warm sensation roll down the back of your throat. You pull your head back up and look to Idia. You swallowed just like he asked and now you want more. “Idia, please touch me too, it’s not fair.”

Idia grabs you roughly and positions you on your back. Sticking his fingers in his mouth and making them wet. He takes them to your entrance. Slowly sliding one finger in and then two fingers. Thrusting them in and out at a consistent motion.

Your soft pants give him more confidence. He slides in a third finger. You feel so good, you don’t even know if you can make it to the best part. You hold out and tell him “Idia, I’m ready, please fill me up.”

Idia wastes no time in discarding his pants and boxers. His only focus is you and he is gonna make you love every second of it.

He lines up with your entrance and it fits perfectly. It’s like you two were made for each other.

“Ah, Idia it hurts.” You clench around him unintentionally.

“Y/N, j-just breathe, please its ok.”

His hands gripped your thighs for support. He was going faster and faster. You felt like you couldn’t hold out anymore.

“Idia, I feel like I’m-“

“Hold on, you can’t not until I say so.”

“O-ok”

He was starting to loosen up. His thrusts were becoming inconsistent and sloppy. He was close.

“Y/N, I’m feeling like I’m gonna cum.”

“Me too, please let me.”

He picked up his pace more and more until he shot his warm fluids into you. Completely marking you as his own.

“Idia, I love you.” You panted out.

Ahhhhh!! My darling is really saying that!! I didn’t even have to threaten them!! “I love you too, Y/N.”

“I will always love you.”

☁️☁️

“Big brother, can I come in.”

🦗

“Big brother?”

“I am coming in.”

*door opens*

Aww, big brother and Y/N sleeping together, how cute. ☺️

*Cue Ortho grabbing the blanket and covering you both up more*

“Goodnight big brother, goodnight Y/N.” <3

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ignihyde #twisted wonderland smut #twisted wonderland Idia #idia x y/n #idia x reader #Idia x reader smut #Idia x reader lemon #twisted wonderland x reader #Idia x gn!reader

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robynlilyblack · 2 years

Text

Welcome to the family

Draco Malfoy x fem! potter! reader

Harry Potter x fem! twin! Reader

[Requested – see request here]

Summary: Y/n and Draco have been dating in secret for a while but how will her family react when they find out?

Warnings: swearing, kissing, allusions to sex, mentions of food, sex, drinking and eating, lil more angsty in some places than I meant for, argument, shouting, drunk Lily and Remus at the end

A/n: 5.8k words, couldn’t help but add some Draco fluff in there, no voldy au, Wolfstar has an adopted daughter whose older than the reader but her name isn’t mentioned, oh and I wrote more than I intended because as per usual I got carried away, there may be a few mistakes in this one and I am so sorry, I am happy with how this turned out as I was a little nervous with the story line I went for x enjoy!

Navigation | Golden Era Characters Masterlist

You fiddled with your jumper, pulling it down gently to make sure Draco’s shirt wasn’t visable in any way. Once you were happy you picked up your bag checking you had everything, your wand, your dads cloak and in particular the marauders map which you stole from Harry’s dorm earlier

As you were about to zip up your bag when the door to your dorm opened abruptly, hitting the wall as it did, revealing your brother being backed into the room by Ginny whist making out “Evening” you say amused, scaring them half to death

They jump apart, relaxing as they see you although Harry looks a little embarrassed “Hi y/n” Ginny smiles “I thought you’d be away by now sorry” she lets out a giggle

“Hey Gin, no worries I’m just leaving now” you say with a smile beginning to walk by them “I’m not ready to be an aunt yet so be safe” you nudge Harry who lets out some kind of noise looking mortified “Have fun” you sing as you close the door behind you, oh merlin did you love to tease your twin

Making your way down the stairs you wave at Neville as he sits in the corner with Seamus and Dean before heading to the door, but as you are about to exit you hear your brothers voice “Y/n!”

You spin around spotting him jogging up to you “Hey…wow you work fast” you jest wiggling your eyebrows

“Ha ha very funny” he deadpans but you can see the blush creeping on his face “I was wondering if you’ve seen the map or Ron and Hermione” he inquires

Fuck, you think, of course now he notices, it’s only been going missing for near 5 years “Nope” you lie before tilting your head “What does Ron and Mione got to do with it?” you question

“Me and Gin think they’ve started hooking up” he explains

“Finally” you say with a chuckle, relaxing a little knowing he’s not quite figured it out yet

He nods “I know long time coming believe me. Anyway, if you do see them let me know because I think they’re the ones nicking the map every week…I’m not mad just curious” he says genuinely “and...I may also have a bet on it with Gin” you giggle at that

“Sure thing and same, I’ve got one on it with Georgie…” and Dray “Nice chatnbut I’ve really gotta get going” you give him a smile before starting backing out of the common room

“Where you off to by the way?” your brother inquires

Merlin can’t a gal sneak off to see her boyfriend in peace anymore? “Just have some astronomy work I need to do because I fucked it last time…oh I borrowed the cloak so I can sneak easier on the way back” you quickly clarify “Hope that’s alright”

He seems to buy it “Yeah course sis” he gives you a small side hug “You want me to pack up some stuff for you if you’re going to be late?” he offers knowing you all have to get up early for the train back home tomorrow

You’re eyes light up but you also feel a twinge of guilt in your stomach “Yeah that would be great thanks” you reach out giving his arm a little squeeze before heading off

Sneaking into the Slytherin common room was almost second nature to you now, with Draco slipping you the password and your dads cloak it was a piece of cake. You pushed the door gently open to Draco’s dorm, you hated his father but the private room he got for his son undeniably helped with keeping your relationship a secret.

You and he had been dating since 5th year but had been friends long before that, unlike your brother your introduction to Draco was a lot nicer, even if it only happened to be around 5 minutes apart. You had walked right into him on the train, then asked if you had seen a boy matching your brothers’ description to which told you to away from him because he was a wanker and you replied teasingly ‘That’s kinda hard but I know what you mean, we did share a womb’

After that you didn’t really speak until you were paired together the following year, finding that you both rather enjoyed the others company and hence began sneaking around. As the years went by you slowly develop crushes on one another, the yule ball being the point you both realised it, seeing him with Pansy and you with George killed the two of you, of course neither worked out, both of you realising your dates were actually your best friends not potential lovers. After that night your hugs were just that little bit longer, touches lingering, talks deeper and the tension between the two of you only kept growing, so much it took less than a week into your 5th year before he finally kissed you

You dropped your bag lightly, smiling as you saw Draco’s sleeping figure. Pulling your jumper over your head you draped it over the chair by his desk, quickly slipping off your shoes along with your jeans before you climbed into bed next to him. You smiled as you cuddled into him, hand slithering around his torso and your head nuzzling into the side of his chest

He hummed in his sleep, stirring as you gently left a couple of kisses on his jaw “Evening love” you feel his voice vibrate from his chest, arms coming to wrap around you as he pressed his lips against the top of your head

“Hi Dray” you smile into his chest “You don’t mind the surprise visit, do you?” you check, tugging on your bottom lip

His lips turn up “Never when it comes to you my love” he finally opens his eyes looking down at you with the softest smile he reserved for those he loved most

You lean up kissing his lips tenderly “I’m going to miss you” you pout burying your head into the crook of his neck

“Me too” he replies with a sad smile “It’s only two weeks this time” he strokes your hair, heart aching at the thought of not being able to hold, let alone speak to you for so long

You nod gently into him before placing a kiss “Can I stay here the night?” you mumble into his skin

He nods “Of course baby” he squeezes you gently “Want me to dig out the alarm clock?” you pull back nodding but your face is sad “Love” he cups your face

“What are we going to do when we graduate?” you ask quietly, maybe it was the impending distance that brought this on but it was something you needed to think about

He shakes his head “I don’t know” his thumb strokes your cheek before tracing over your lips lightly “But we’ll figure that out together” he assures you before thinking for a second “I’ll have full access to my Gringotts account on my birthday so even if I’m disowned…” he says the last word quieter “…we’d still have money”

You mouth parts in a happy shock before you smirk a little “You realise I too am rich…not Malfoy rich but enough that I could take care of you” you assure him, bopping his nose

He chuckles “How about I buy us a place to live and you decorate it, you’ve always had the better sense of style” he kisses your forehead

You nod “Fine but it needs to be a cute cottage and pets count as décor, right?” you tilt your head a playful look painting your face

“Anything you want” he says truly, smiling at you in complete admiration “But right now we sleep” he places a lingering kiss to your lips

As he breaks away you pull him in again “I’m not very sleepy” you mumble into his lips

“I see how it is” he replies lifting your hips on top of him “Just here for one last shag eh?” he shakes his head pouting teasingly

“I can leave if you-” he doesn’t even let you finish before he’s sitting up and pulling you in for another kiss

The next morning was a blur, hurrying back from Draco’s dorm at 5am to try and grab some extra sleep and pack before you had to rush to the station. You used to sit with Harry, Ron and Hermione but after making friends with Neville and Luna you now sat with them, you loved it but as a twin you missed your brother dearly even on a short journey like this.

After saying your farewells to Luna and Neville, you find Harry, seeing him wave at Ron, Hermione and Ginny as they headed off “See you soon” you shout towards them as you approach your brother, earning a ‘byes’ and ‘miss yous’ from them before you turned to give him a hug “Hey” you smile into the embrace but something felt off “You aright?” you pull back looking at him with concern

“Yeah” he confirms but his smile is strange

As you were about to question it you felt someone bump into you “Watch it” they snap and your heart skips as you recognise the voice

“Me watch it? I think you need to get your eyes checked Malfoy” you clap back with a challenging smirk

“Of course out of everyone its the Potters that are blind as bats” he teases with his own smirk, eyes trailing up and down you in particular, you look cute in that lovely, he places the thought into your head, it was times like this you actually loved Snape for teaching him how to do that

“Fuck off Malfoy” Harry says harshly, grabbing your arm and your bags before pulling you away quickly

Did he wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Draco looks at you surprised, sure he and Harry were enemies but your brother was never one to get angry for nothing.

You just shrug discreetly mouthing ‘love you’ seeing him return it before Harry dragged you out of his sight “Harry!” you hit his hand as you get out of the station “What’s wrong?” you weren’t mad at him just worried about him, did something happen on the train you didn’t know about?

He looks around “What’s wrong?” he repeats back to you before pulling out the map “What’s wrong is you lied to me” he looks at you betrayed, hand clutching the paper in what you can’t tell is either anger or disappointment, perhaps a mix of the two?

Your mouth parts, oh Godric he knows, you panic, breathing picking up “Harry…” you start but the confrontation is cut off by your parents

“Harry! Y/n!” your father calls out

You turn your head at them still processing while Harry quickly stuffs the map back into his bag “This isn’t over” he whispers to you quickly before turning to your parents “Hi!”

“Hey” you say with a fake smile, you were happy to see your parents but the thought that Harry knew made you feel sick

Harry didn’t know you had been stealing the map at first, he just assumed you had been borrowing it to pull pranks or for sneaking off to the kitchens after curfew. However, since you’d returned for 5th year he noticed it going missing more often and now he was dating Ginny this year he finally observed how you also didn’t return to your dorm some nights, the map always coincidentally gone every time. He thought maybe it was like him with Ginny, trying to keep a new relationship quiet until you figured it out but even then, he had told about his feeling for Ginny because he needed advice pursuing them, so it hurt that you didn’t do the same

He did try to figure out who the person was, he ruled out someone in Gryffindor pretty quickly, for a while he thought maybe it was Luna and you were nervous because it was a girl, but then he came across her hanging out with Ginny on one of the nights you were gone and that theory was thrown out the window. Eventually he decided to nick the map back, swiping it from your bag last night before you left, watching as you headed down to the dungeons. He then began to understand why you were so secretive and didn’t tell him, you were dating a Slytherin, but the bit that made his blood boil was the ones whose dorm you entered

The thought of the boy who was his literal nemesis and his sister together made sick to his stomach, he felt so betrayed and wanted in that moment to march down there, confront you both but more importantly beat the blonde to a pulp. He eventually calms himself, okay he realised you had the cloak and there was no logical way he could get in there but still baby steps. As Ginny fell asleep in his arms he lay staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep at the thought you, his sister, his twin spending the night with him, his enemy, his bully.

He always knew you were softer with Slytherins, a trait you got from Lily as you often gave the twins a piece of your mind when the targeted those just because they were Slytherin, and you defended some of them. But Draco? The boy that called Hermione a mudblood the first time they met, insulted Ron for his family’s situation, bullied him and many others countless times, that Draco, how could you?

He pretended to be asleep when you returned to your dorm, sneaking a glace he saw you looked tired, a little sad and had some purple marks on your neck. In that moment he didn’t know what this was, was it two enemies relieving the tension? Had Draco seduced you to get back at him? He was going to have a civil conversation but when he saw the way Draco’s eyes were on you at the station, the smirk on his face that now had new meaning and he just snapped

The following morning you and Harry hadn’t spoken, luckily your parents nor godparents had noticed probably just assuming you were tired from the train “So I was talking with Molly and thought that we could head the burrow for a breakfast on Christmas day? Maybe we could bring the presents with us?” Your mum suggests with a smile

Both you and Harry perk up at the idea “Can I invite Hermione?” Harry asks as she chops down on a bit of pancake

“She’s already coming, I believe Ron bet you to it” your father wiggles his eyebrows knowingly

“Will you be coming Uncle pads, Uncle moony?” you ask with a small smile whilst trying your best to avoid Harrys eyes

Sirius nods “Yup considering our little pup will be there” he grins at you

“Where is she anyway? I thought the shop was closed for the holidays?” James inquires

Your uncle hums “It is but there is some work that needs to be done” he replies shrugging while Remus and Lily let out small chuckles

“Mum? Uncle?” Harry eyes them as do you although you have a feeling you know what it’s about

Lily and Remus share a look before the latter turns to his husband “You’ve really not caught on yet, have you?” he says amused while you smile knowing for sure what’s going on

Sirius’ face drops “Caught on to what?” he asks baffled

“Oh!” you let out a small giggle as the penny drops for your dad “Which one?” he makes an F with his hands before attempting to do the same a G but gets confused with how to do it

Your godfathers’ eyes widen as his mouth forms an ‘o’ watching your dad still trying to make the letter “Oh no she’s too young for that” he shakes his head wiggling his pointer finger

“She’s almost 20” Your mum interjects “Besides Fred is a nice boy” she says

Remus nods in agreement “I mean he did take her to the yule ball love…all the signs were there” he places his hand over his husbands giving it a little squeeze

“I thought that was just as friends like y/n with the other one” Sirius sits back in his chair like he’s just heard she’s gotten married or something “Still…she too young and Fred is too similar to me” he huffs before eyeing you “You better not get any ideas” he points at you

Harry scoffs “Too late” he says but then his mouth drops, a flash of regret across his face before he looks at you apologetically, sure he was mad but that was nothing compared to if your parents and godparents found out

“Y/n, what is he talking about?” your father looks at you, the look he’d never given you before, usually his stare down was fake because as soon as your mother left he’d be wanting every detail of the prank or mischief you just pulled but right now it was real and it scared you

“Umm…” you flounder trying to speak eyes becoming glassy, your brother while interested in knowing all the details, okay definitely not all the details, felt awful seeing the sister, the sister that was never phased by anything looking so fearful

“Sweetie?” your mother gently prods

Your mouth must have opened countless times before something came out “I was going to tell you after graduation” you saw lowly, Harrys eyebrows knit together, tell you?

“Who?” your dad question, tone almost judgemental

“Jamie” your mum scolds but you can tell she’s eager to know

You stab at the food on your plate “Bit of a double standard guys” you say trying to avoid the subject of who you were dating “Harrys dating Ginny and you pat his back, but when the girls start dating someone we get the third degree”

“Don’t do that” Sirius eyes you “I know that tactic, I taught you that tactic” you knew he was right and now you were screwed

You stay quiet for a second debating your options but none seem great, only idea you could think of was throwing your pancake at him and apparating the fuck out of there “He’s in my year” you admit reluctantly

“House?” your dad inquires

You freeze, eyes flicking to Harry who looks somewhere between worried and disappointed before looking at your mother, giving her pleading eyes as she is the only one at the table that could maybe understand. She seems to catch on, closing her eyes for a second before a reassuring smile emerges on her face, your uncle Remus also catches on while Sirius and James take a few seconds but when they do you grimace at your fathers’ tone

“Oh hell no” your father shakes his head “There is no way you’re allowed to date a Slytherin…I mean I don’t want you dating anyone till your 30 but a snake oh no” he says a little melodramatically

“Are you mad?” your uncle adds earning a nudge followed by an annoyed whisper you couldn’t make out from Remus

“Leave her alone she can make her own decisions” your mother defends you but a part of you knew even that would be short lived once his name was revealed “How long have you been together sweetie?”

“Since the start of 5th year but we had been friends since around out 2nd” you elaborate, seeing your brothers jaw drop in your peripherals

“Since 5th year?” Harry says in shock, his brain trying to process it “Do…do you love him?” he asks warily

You nod “Very much” your eyes start to tear up

“What Slytherin?” your father finally asks the dreaded question and when you don’t answer he and your uncle begin guessing

“Nott?” nothing

“Zabini?” nah da

“Better not be Crabbe or Goyle” that earns a look of disgust “Thank god” your uncle sighs in relief

“Malfoy” Your father says jokingly, your uncle laughing with him but it quickly stops as they see your face “MALFOY!” he says furious

“Dad…” you squeak out

“No” Sirius shakes his head “You can’t be dating my cousin’s purist spawn” he refuses to believe it

You look at your other uncle who looks a little disappointed, your eyes then go to your mum who looks more conflicted than anything else “How could you love someone like him? I thought I raised better” that hurt, your father so enraged he couldn’t register the heartbreak on your face

“You aren’t to see him again” Sirius says your father nodding next to him

“Uncle Remus?” you look at him but he has a look that tells you he does agree with your other uncle and father “Mum” you turn to her, voice cracking

“Sweetie…I don’t...umm” she looks like she’s trying to process but the lack of understanding makes you stand up

“Where are you going? You aren’t leaving until we get to the bottom of this” your father points to the table “Don’t you-” he starts but you apparate away

Your family stares in shock for a few minutes before Lily speaks up “You knew, didn’t you?” she asks looking at Harry who nods slowly

“You told us Malfoy was a prick?” Sirius exclaims “Harry how could you let that ferret wiggling his way-”

“Love” Remus places his hand on Sirius’ back rubbing circles in attempt to calm him “How long have you known?” he then turn to the boy inquiring in a gentler tone

Harry sighs “I knew she was sneaking around with someone but I didn’t know who because she was taking the map with her every time. So last night I stole it and that’s when I saw her meeting Draco…I hadn’t had time with the train and things to talk to her about it” he confesses

“Saw her where on the map?” his father asks in a tone that makes Harry think he’s going to murder someone

“The astronomy tower” he lies

“Where Harry?” his father sees right through them

He closes his eyes “His dorm room” Harry days quietly and that was it for his father and uncle both standing

“Where are you going?” Lily stands up as well

“To get some answers” James replies before walking over, looping his arm with Sirius

Sirius pulls out his wand “And to kick arse” he states before apparating himseld and James

Lily and Remus barely have any time to react to them as Harry stands up “Hon-” she starts but he cuts her off

“Sorry mum but I need to go find y/n” Harry apologises before apparating himself

“Firewhisky?” Remus turns to Lily who looks like in all her years of dealing with four marauders, 3 children of marauders and the entire Weasley clan this is what was going to kill her, not because she was angry at you but from the stress of the situation

“Yes please” she nods quickly

“I’ll get the emergency chocolate too”

Draco sighed as he lay on one of the couches in the library, staring up at the ceiling, it hadn’t even been a day and he already missed you. His thoughts were interrupted by a bang, jolting up as he hears it again almost like someone is trying to break the front door down. Distantly, he hears how he assume can only be Dobby opening the door followed by muffled shouts

Standing up he walked over to the door, heart stopping as he recognised the voice “COUSIN!” Sirius screeched

“What is the meaning of this?” Lucius exclaimed as he greeted their uninvited guests

“Sirius?” Narcissa says completely bewildered as she sees them “Potter?”

Both of them had no idea how to react, even Lucius was concerned by the fury in their eyes but hid it well “Why are you here?” he asks clearly annoyed

“Your son seduced my daughter” James accuses

Draco felt like he was going to throw up, oh Salazar did he have nightmares about this day, it was a good run, he thought placing a mental bet of which of the people in the next room was going to kill him first

“That’s ridiculous” his mother laughs at the notion “The only think we know of your daughter from Draco is how annoying your son is”

“Besides our son already learned his lesson with dating Half-breeds from the Parkinson’s daughter” Lucius states,

Draco jaw clenches at the slur “Don’t you dare call her that!” Sirius speaks up “Where is he?”

Draco didn’t know if he should run, hide or just accept his fate but luckily his mother came to his rescue “He isn’t here” Narcissa replies quickly

“Bullshit” James mutters

“What makes you think they are an item?” Lucius asks sceptically

“Harry caught them and she revealed they’ve been together for over two years” Sirius informs them

He just has to ruin everything, Draco sighs leaning his head on the door not realising it was ajar, stumbling a little as he reveals himself “Oh shit”

“Oh shit is right” James replies

It was safe to say Draco getting your fathers blessing was most like off the table as he and Sirius bolted towards him and then proceed to chase him around the house and surrounding grounds for a good ten minutes before they were all spent, hunched over catching their breath outside in the garden

“Why” James puffs staring up at him

“Why what?” Draco pants brain not quite functioning from the impromptu workout

“Y/n” Sirius runs his hands through his hair, putting it into a bun as if he’s gearing to fight the boy “Explain to us how a bully like yourself manages to worm their way into my goddaughter panties”

“Mate” James shoves him “Terribly worded...” he points at him before Draco “...but you have 1 minute to explain before I catch my breath enough to run again”

“We worked on a project in second year and we became friends, in secret because me and Harry hated each other…” Draco begins explaining only to be cut off

“Why? Jealous of my son?”

“Yeah” Draco to their surprise admits “Harry is better than be at almost everything, he rejected my friendship which in hindsight was fair enough. I was a prick especially in first year but y/n’s friendship helped me realise that all those ideals my parents fed me were crap. And no, it didn’t happen right away and I still called people slurs but she never gave up on me…she never abandoned and I fell head over heels for her” he explains

“Why keep it a secret then?” Sirius asks with a scoff “If you love her so much why hide her like dirty laundry-”

“Pads mate, try to paraphrase in a way that doesn’t make me want to hit you too” James snaps at him before once more turning back to Draco “Again the question stands”

Draco could have laughed at your father and godfather if he didn’t hear the former say ‘too’ in reference to punching “For a few very good reasons” is all he could say

“State them” your father says crossing his arms as he and Sirius waited not so patiently

“Okay…” Draco takes a breath “First, we didn’t know how us being together would work out and…we knew it would cause a tidal wave of gossip…we also didn’t want everyone butting in and watching us constantly, having all of their opinions affecting and putting strain on our relationship” James and Sirius’ face soften as they quickly realise the boy makes valid points “Second when we knew this was real and we were in love we were scared that not only my family but hers would overreact…can you blame us considering…” he gestures to them “And third, we were going to reveal everything but after we graduated, got access to out accounts so if I was disowned or she was we would have funds to rely on”

The last point makes your father think “Wait you and her were planning on what running away together?” that was when Draco saw it hit him, the regret washing over his face, a similar one on Sirius’ as well

“That was plan B” Draco mutters “Hasn’t y/n told you this?” he asks confused as what exactly occurred before he starts to worry

“No…” James shakes his head before he curses “Fuck”

“Where is she?” Draco knew he had no right to ask but he needed to know

Sirius shrugs “We don’t know she apparated away and then we were so mad we came to kick your ass” he points at him

“What? I need to find her” he pulls out his wand racking his brain to figure out where you could be as he figures it out he hears his father

“Don’t you dare” Lucius stares him down with the biggest glare he had ever seen, if looks could kill Draco would be death about 3 times over “You leave and you are disowned” he says plainly “Cut off and never welcome in this house again” he gestures to the grounds

Draco looks at his father flicking to James and Sirius a moment before he smiles “So be it” and with that he thought of you and apparated

He landed somewhere in the woods, not quite sure why until he catches sight of a treehouse. You had brought him here once when you both managed to sneak out and see each other once over summer, you told him how you and harry built it and it was still your safe space even if Harry had long since grown out of it.

As he climbed the ladders he heard sniffles, heart clenching as his head popped up and saw you curled in a little ball crying “Love?” he says softly as he stands up properly but it still startles you

You stare at him for a second before launching yourself into his arms not questioning how he is here just happy that he is “Draco” you mumble as you burying your head into his chest “I’m so sorry, I was reckless and harry found the map and now my whole family…” you ramble

“I know” he cuts you off gently

You pull back moving to sit on one of the old benches “How?” you ask as he sits down next to you

He takes your hand in his “Your Father and uncle paid me a visit” he cringes but chuckles as your eyes comedically widen

“They didn’t…merlin I’m so sorry dray” you close your eyes as you lean your head on his shoulder

He lifts your head up smiling at you “Hey it’s okay” he brushes some hair for your face “It felt kinda nice to have it all out in the open…even if I thought I was going to get Kedavra-ed for a moment” he let sout a nervous chuckle

You giggle a little “How did they react? Your parents I mean” you squeeze his hand

He let out an empty laugh “Could have been better…” he hesitates before continuing “I’m officially homeless, disowned and only wealth is the clothes on my back” you mouth parts “But…I’ve never felt this free in my whole life” he reassures you

“Dray…” you didn’t know what to say

“You don’t need to say anything” he shakes his head like he read your mind “Although maybe help me convince your parents to let me stay with you…or failing that I could live here” he jokes to which you giggle nudging your nose with his

Your moment is cut short by your brothers’ voice “You really love her, don’t you?” he asks in a much softer tone that Harry was expecting

“Yeah” Draco answers without hesitation

Your brother nods “I don’t like it…” he points “And I might actually throw up if I think about the logistics too hard” that makes small smiles appear on you and Draco’s face “Oh and you bet your arses there will be a ban on PDA around me but…” he takes a deep breath “If you’re happy then I’m happy. I might not understand, or how all this…” he motions to the two of you “…happened but you’re my sister and I love you” he finishes

You both stand up and walk over “Thanks” you say giving him a hug, staying there for a bit before pulling away

Harry kisses your forehead before looking at Draco who’s standing rather awkwardly but Harry could see the visible weight that had been lifted from him, he looked genuinely relived…however even with that in mind “I’m not hugging you”

“Wouldn’t want you too” Draco replies with a small smile

“Lily, Moony you here?” James calls out as he and Sirius return to the house

“Living room!” they hear Remus distantly shout

Walking James smiles “Hey…” he greets before seeing the scene “Oh no the emergency chocolate is out” he mumbles to himself

“HI!” Lily cheeses at them from the couch

“Is she…” Sirius whispers at his husband gesturing

“A tad tipsy” James and Sirius nod “yes…I am too but just a little bit” he motions with his thumb and forefinger

James looks around as he seats a seat next to his wife, cuddling her back as she wraps her arms around him “Where Harry?” he wonders

“Went to find y/n” Remus replies, also becoming a little touchy and as he leans into Sirius, taking his hand “How did it go?” he asks sobering up ever so slightly “You didn’t actually kill him, did you?”

James shakes his head “No but he is officially disowned and homeless” he informs

“What?!” Remus look at them in shock while Lily seems too tired to register

“It’s true” your voice makes them jump, all turning up to see you, Draco and Harry standing in the door way

“Hi” Draco greets with a cringy smile and the most awkward wave known to wizard

“You think there’s room for one more at the table mum?” you look towards her

“Course sweetie…hello Draco I’m Li…lily” she says gleefully with a little hiccup

“She’s a little drunk” Sirius informs you

“Oh…” you let out a small laugh “Dad, can Draco stay with us?” you ask hopefully

“No” your expression drops

“But he can stay with us” Sirius adds, yours and Draco’s faces lighting up “It wouldn’t be right not to help you the way I was when I got disowned, besides we have a spare room now our daughter has moved out and…” he remembers the original conversation “…apparently seeing Fred Weasley…Moons I need to make another drop-in visit…” Sirius says standing up

“Oh no you don’t…” Remus pulls him down quickly before turning to Draco “But yeah sure you can stay with us”

“Thank you” Draco gives them a grateful look

“You’re welcome but if you hurt her I’ll kill you” Your father threatens

“And I’ll make sure it’s slow” Sirius adds

“And I’ll eat you…oh yeah those rumours are true…what?” Remus turns to Sirius who nudges him before laughing nervously “I may be a little drunker than I thought…the emergency chocolate is boozy” he confesses to which you, Draco and Harry chuckle

“Welcome to the family son” Your father says but scrunches up his face as soon as the last word exited his mouth “Nope too weird…Just welcome”

#draco x reader #draco malfoy and reader #draco x you #draco and you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x reader #Draco Malfoy #harry potter and reader #harry potter and sister #Harry Potter #potter reader #Jilly #wolfstar #soft draco #fluff and angst

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ranposbabe · 9 months

Text

Infidel | Johan Liebert x Reader

Chapter 9

The evening sky seemed to settle as you failed to pull back the curtains, blocking the view. Curtains that were a ugly shade of cream, that were starting to age horribly and yet you remember when you first moved in and your father demanding you stay cheap. You laugh at it now because as if you had the option to buy things such expensively. You found those curtains in some charity shop.

You look down staring at the evident creases in your clothing. You’re still wearing the same clothes from last night.

The sky turns darker by the minute.

It’s too late to change your clothes.

Just when you find the will to pull yourself up off the couch to return to your bedroom, just then it becomes another reason. The apartment phone rings and you contemplate letting it ring out but that thought quickly dies down as the ringing becomes irritable. Just like that sound.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

This better be worth your while.

“Yes.” You answer, the phone cord wrapped tightly around your finger.

“I have a job for you.”

Perhaps it is worth your while.

Unlike last night where all walks of life were present you now walk down a darkened alleyway that’s quiet and abounded. So empty you’d doubt that there were any walks of life present until-

“Lita.” You nod in acknowledgment.

She sits on one of the steps on the rundown stairs, cigarette in hand, her knees pressed against each other as her dress that hiked up her thighs fails to warm her during the breezy night.

“You’re not the police are you ?” She coughs. “I’m not talking to any police.”

“Somewhat of a detective I suppose.” You shrug, casually walking up the small stairs to stand at the top of the stairs, your hands shoved in your pockets as you lean back against the concrete wall.

Not before checking there’s no drugs at your feet of course.

“So tell me about this friend of yours ? Stella was it ? Or is that her show name ?”

You start, genuinely curious.

Though, Lita doesn’t hesitate to take your words as being mock full.

“She’s been with this client of hers.” She starts yet hesitates to finish. You slowly nod, encouraging her to keep speaking.

“She now pregnant and she wants to keep it.”

“I keep telling her that it’ll do more harm than girl but she’s not backing down ! She’s stubborn but I suppose she learned that from me.” There’s somewhat of a soft yet small rise in her tight lips.

Her eyes race back and forth as if she was expecting something or someone. Her eyes then jump to you, her face in a scowl that immediately ages her.

“You can stop looking down on me like that you know ! With that look in your eyes !” She glares as she practically sucks the soul out of her seemingly ceaseless cigarette.

“I am standing at the top of the stairs. You’re sitting on the step below me. Please put two and two together.”

You attempt to reassure. You feel some sympathy for the woman. You can’t begin to image having to constantly be paranoid around anyone all the time. Especially at night.

“He’s got his own wife and kids. Christ ! She doesn’t know any better ! She’s probably your age even ?!

She’s the only one he comes to see and she thinks because of that-

“He’s romantically interested.” You sigh

“He’d kill her.” She whispers. You do catch onto the sudden change in her tone.

“He may not get blood on his own hands but he has the money for someone to do so.”

“Leave it to me.” You state, already walking down the steps past the woman.

“That’s what they all say !” She scoffs, taking note of how your back is turned to her. Though, she doesn’t take note that it’s due to you walking down the stairs and more so interprets it as disregarding her. Let her interpret.

You’re too tired and cold that you practically hug yourself wrapping your arms around yourself as you find out of the alleyway. Almost as if a gust of wind brought someone along, you manage to bump into a tall man. The lack of street lights causes his appearance to appear such as only a shadow. You don’t dare to look up as you speak your apologies and you simply make on your way.

Perhaps you did the right thing speaking to Lita. No one else would’ve done so.

Perhaps you were right in leaving in such a moment and maybe just maybe you were right not to look back at the man you bumped into. As you keep walking forward he doesn’t hesitate to look back his eyes practically glued to your disappearing figure. Maybe. Just maybe.

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#x reader #reader insert #anime and manga #johan #johan liebert x reader #johan liebert #monster anime #yandere johan liebert x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #anna liebert #nina fortner #monster manga #dr tenma #johan liebert x y/n

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kiwanopie · 1 year

Note

You get the things you deserve is seriously so so good!! I loved the way you dropped subtle hints throughout about the names/girls, I seriously could read this fic over and over it’s just such a smooth and easy read if that makes sense? Like the pacing and change of mood felt so seamless!

I’m kinda curious about oikawa’s character.. he seemed so genuinely interested but then it was revealed at the end that he’s done this with several different girls, and it suddenly got me questioning all of him and the y/n character’s past interactions!! Were his feelings for her “real” this time? (Real in the sense of like he really wanted to be with her long term and wasn’t going to just drop her after a few weeks like he did with his previous flings) cause at the beginning he had this inner dialogue about how he has never had a similar sexual experience with anyone before and that he felt like this was the first time he truly connected with another person. I couldn’t really tell if what he was thinking was true and he really did feel differently about y/n compared to every past fling, or if that was just the way his mind worked when he was really infatuated with someone, like thinking every fling is better and more special than the last and every girl is the one for him since he’s forgotten the rest of the girls? I’m so sorry hahaha I know you intended for the ending to be open to interpretation but it’s really got me thinking and theorizing!! Like I can’t tell what is a more sad scenario, it turning out that y/n was never all that special or unique to him or y/n actually being special and ~the one~ but he blew any chance he might have had because of his past behaviour. Both are pretty sad now that I’m thinking about it 😭

Oh man I honestly want to go back right now and read it again to see if I missed any other hints!! Thank you for the excellent read!!!

Oh man, so many things were going on in the background.

I’ve reread that one shot a few times and there’s a lot of things I took out that I felt were over explained but in hindsight should’ve stayed in. But I’m saying all that to say that Oikawa really felt for the reader.

In the beginning, after mentioning how he felt about the one night stand he gets into all the nervous feelings he’s experiencing by being in the presence of the reader. He mentions that “He thinks he may have liked you even before that rager last night.” And that’s because he did. Maybe not to such the degree he did post one night stand, but he knew you were the transfer and he knew you shared his morning lecture with him. And like the conversation among his friends referenced, you definitely came up a few times at some point - all very positive things. So, you’re new and beautiful and already well received among his group of peers, there’s probably been a few times that you caught his eye during your first lecture and he ogled at you a bit. You know, blushing cheeks, lingering glances, the usual signs of budding interest.

Mai and Ayumi, scorned women that they are, notice that shit straight from the jump. It’s a similar routine, leading to disaster like a ticking time bomb and at first they want to cut it at the bud. Like you said, they look at you like a little sister, if what happened to them happened to you they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. And of course you saw what his behavior did to them when he got what he wanted last time. Mai still hasn’t recovered and Ayumi locks up like a deer in headlights whenever they’re in the same room anymore. When you first hear about him you fucking hate this guy.

But here’s the thing, Oikawa never initiates these honey traps when they go down. He’s attracted to these women, sure, but they come to him. Ayumi, Mai, Yūka, Chihiro, they were all fans of him at some point. They approached him. And of course he egged them on when he realized there was something to gain from being with them. Mai was probably the most time he’s spent chasing but, there are differences in the way he interacts with the reader as opposed to everyone else.

It’s easy to miss but reader says: “Walk you home when it got too late.”

Oikawa is blatantly interested in the reader before they meet at that house party. Even at the house party he’s nervous, he has to drink himself into a coma just to make a move. Ayumi and Mai notice that difference, that this time he might have something to lose, so obviously they decide to take advantage of that.

Not to confuse, reader did accidentally fuck him at the beginning. Reader’s natural allure was already being weaponized before the story began, she just naively underestimated his ability to talk his way into somebody’s pants. But thankfully it works out in their favor. It confirms the fact that Oikawa really did like the reader and it makes it all the more easy to string him along like she did. The deal was to wait until he wanted to make something serious out of it and break his heart.

There’s also little things. Oikawa texted the girls during class and let them sit with his stuff during practice. Most of them were resorted to “The girl oikawa’s probably fucking right now ig.” And were all mostly limited to school time - they came to him. You, on the other hand, he walks to class and bites into his practice time for. He doesn’t just text you during class, he gets there early just to sit next to you. He texts you first thing in the morning. Changes his coffee order cause he knows when you’re done he’ll want you to sip on his and he wants you to enjoy it. He sends you heart eyes across the cafe, holds your hand when he walks you home in the chilly weather, hugs you tightly before he leaves. He even calls you in his free time and lets you talk through his earbuds while he studies. When you said “People look at me like I’m your girlfriend.” You really meant it.

#oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru #you get the things that you deserve #/kiwi✍️#haikyuu x reader #so tired I’ll edit this tomorrow

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knowltonsrangers · 1 year

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ideal location [ch.4]

Nathan Hale x F!Reader

The next morning did come a bit faster than anticipated, and while you blinked bleary eyes open to stare at your ceiling, your mind had convinced you that yesterday was a dream.

There was no way that you had let a man from the 1700’s sleep on your couch last night. If your criminal justice 101 class taught you anything, it was never to do anything of the sorts like that.

Your door was closed over, but ajar, and you listened intently for any sound of another soul in the flat. You had survived the night, so that was a plus, you suppose? Sliding out of bed, you cross the room to open the door all the way. It was quiet, eerily so, and something persuades you to check the couch, if Nathan had actually spent the night. Swallowing thickly, you shuffle through the short hallway in sock-clad feet.

“Good morning,”

For some reason, it startles you. You had seen him, he was sitting so politely on your sofa, dressed just in a white undershirt and trousers.

Right. He has been very adamant about not taking your ex’s clothes. Suddenly, you’re hyper aware that you haven’t answered him.

“‘Morning,”

You reply, rounding the furniture to see what he was up to. Surprisingly, he had a few books on the coffee table, and a yellow one in his hands.

“I apologize for going through your library,”

You can’t fight the smile that comes to your face, taking the seat next to him as you reach to take a look at the title.

“No worries. Curious as to why you’re reading Nancy Drew, though,”

“Oh? Oh,”

He glances at the cover with you, smile starting on his lips.

“It is a mystery novel, I do enjoy the genre. Interesting story,”

“Enough to not sleep?”

“I couldn’t sleep,”

He confesses, closing the hardcover book over and setting it with the others.

“I’m sorry,”

You raise a hand, intentions to set it on his thigh, but quickly run it through your hair.

What were you thinking?

“You can…uh, just hang out on the couch all day, if you wanna. Sometimes that makes me feel better,”

You stand, and he joins you, following you into the kitchen as you begin to rummage through your fridge.

“Do you have plans for the day, y/n?”

“Not really. I might have to run to the grocery store later, though. We gotta get something in this thing,”

You kick the door shut with your foot, then venture over to the cabinets.

“We can go back to the schoolhouse, if you’re up for it. Maybe we can get some new information up on the board.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d like for today to be about you, instead of me.”

The sentence gets your heart thumping so wildly that you’re sure he can hear it.

“M’sorry, what did you say, Captain?”

When you turn around, he’s leaning on the counter, shirt sleeves rolled up and his chin resting in his hands.

Staring, intently.

“I would like to get to know you, y/n. It appears that our fates have intertwined, and I am not the sort of person to just use your resources and leave,”

You can see how someone could take that the wrong way, and it’s the first thing that crosses your mind. The blush reaches the tips of your ears as you turn away, digging through the cabinets once more.

“Take me out to dinner first, Nate,”

It’s a joke, you even laugh during it, but it flies right over the Captain’s head.

“May I?”

It sounds so genuine, so sweet, that you’re sure your entire face is covered with a rosy hue.

“Let’s get breakfast, yeah? Then we can talk about dinner later,”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I’m not sure. What do you like to eat?”

“Bread.”

He shrugs, shoulders reaching his ears.

“Oh, you can’t be serious.”

“I lived on war rations for a good while, y/n,”

He says, and there’s no maliciousness behind it, he’s being honest.

“I may have…hm, I have pancake mix in here somewhere…”

“May I help you?”

Nathan has a thing for standing very close to you, so you’ve observed. When you pull back, he’s nearly attached at your hip, eyes wide and very very interested in what you’ve got in your hands.

“Sure,”

You say happily, turning the box over to see if you have what you need.

“You’ve had pancakes, yeah? They were invented a long time ago, I think.”

“Possibly not this version, but yes, I do recall having these before,”

It makes you feel somewhat better, because at least he’s eating and it’s somehow something that he’s had before. Bonus.

“So, y/n,”

He’s becoming nothing but a flirt, and you aren’t positive if he’s doing it purposefully or not.

“Yes, Nate?”

He pauses to think, as if he wasn’t sure what he was going to say before he started the sentence. He then sighs.

“I’ve got nothing here, help a lad out.”

Digging for a mixing bowl, you grab a whisk on your way back over to the counter.

"What do you want to know? I mean, there’s not much that we haven’t already gone over.”

“But I find this all so fascinating!”

He starts, and something makes you want to listen. He’s hardly been this talkative since yesterday, as if he had a revelation overnight to make the best of the situation at hand. You had tried, being the least you could do, to make him feel comfortable, maybe even a bit at home?

“I know you seemed a bit distraught yesterday, something change your mind?”

“Of course i’d like to go back, but this is truly a story that not a souls bound to believe!”

You continue to mix the pancakes as Nathan continues on, turning the burner on to begin warming the pan.

“Like I said, somehow our strings of fate have crossed, possibly tied. I want to know how I bested the situation by meeting you, y/n.”

“It could all be a coincidence,”

Shrugging, you can’t help but sadden at the foggy look he gave you as you begin to pour the batter in the hot frying pan.

“Surely, but I don’t think of it such.”

“I’m curious now. Watch the pancakes, make sure they don’t burn,”

Nathan watches you confusedly as you leave the room to grab your laptop. Bringing it back to the kitchen, you open it up and begin to enter your password.

“Is that the device you mentioned yesterday?”

“My computer? Yes, I want to look something up.”

He turns back to the stove, poking at the pancake with the spatula to see if it’s ready to flip. You begin a google search for one ‘Captain Nathan Hale’. Surely there has to be something on this guy, if he was a Captain. When you hit enter, your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach, seeing the immediate response in big, black letters.

“Nathan Hale was an American Patriot, soldier and spy for the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War. He volunteered for an intelligence-gathering mission in New York City but was captured by the British and executed.“

Instinctively, you slam your laptop shut, not able to fight the terrified look on your face.

So that’s why his name sounded familiar.

“My gods, y/n, what is wrong? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Technically,”

You start, feeling like you’re going to puke.

“I have.”

[a/n: yes I had to look up when pancakes were invented for this. I. love. this. man. the plot thickens. love y’all always, xoxo. mwah ❤️]

#sul writes #turn amc #turn washington's spies #nathan hale #nathan hale x reader #nathan hale headcanons #ideal location #female reader

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jedimasterbailey · 2 months

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For the ask game!

Curious about ✍️🚀💕💭💛

Aaaa it is an honor getting an ask from you! 🥰

✍️- what is your ideal writing setup?

I prefer to write at home either on my couch in the living room or on my bed with a good iced coffee or chai latte listening to music that matches the tone of whatever it is I’m working on. I typically write when I’m alone as I am easily distracted and not able to focus as much if there are other people or things going on around me. Cloudy rainy days are a huge plus, the cozier the setup the better 👌🏻

🚀- do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

Depends on the story. For my longer novel like pieces I do a rough outline of what the beginning, middle, and end will be and then I’ll do outlines of each chapter. But for my one shots, the idea will just pop into my head and I just run with it without an outline.

💕- what is your favorite fic you’ve written?

By far The Padawans. It was truly a huge undertaking and a labor of love that I’ll never regret. Not only is it the fic that has really put me on the map (even though I was no expecting it to get so popular at all), but it is a story I’m so proud of because it hits so many writing milestones for me. That story is rich with so many loveable characters and each of their arcs were so satisfying to do especially Barriss’s redemption arc which is no easy task at all. Ahsoka and Barriss’s love story is very believable and genuine which is loosely inspired by my own relationship with my now wife @devondeal. Furthermore, the story is so reminiscent of the many classic Star Wars stories we know and love and I was able to put closure on many things canon will not like Barriss’s redemption, her reunion with Luminara, etc. I will always and forever be proud of it.

💭- what inspires you and your writing?

When it comes to Barrissoka @devondeal is my muse because she really is the Ahsoka to my Barriss so a lot of my ideas come from what we encounter in our day to day lives but I just make it relevant to Star Wars. But besides that, I write because it geninuely makes me happy and I want to make other people happy with my stories so that really drives me to get creative.

💛- what is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

Be patient with yourself and don’t feel bad for having writer’s block or not being able to produce as much as you like. Life is hard and it can get busy or sometimes your mind is too cluttered by other things or your body just needs rest and that’s perfectly okay. I’ve had to remind myself many times that when the time is right, inspiration will strike and the story will fall into place but it’s all too important to take care of yourself first. Readers are patient and I’m always personally willing to wait for new amazing content so I have to remind myself that the people reading my stories probably feel the same. Always remember why you write, it shouldn’t be a job, it should remain a passion no matter how long it may take to produce something.

Link to Original Ask Game Questions

#thanks for the ask!#fanfic writer ask game #fanfic writing #star wars fanfiction

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messers-moony · 3 years

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One in the Same | R.B

Paring: Regulus Black X Wife!Reader

Summary: Reader notices Draco going through the same pain as her ex lover and desperately wants fix her faults.

“Mr.Malfoy, can you stay after class, please?”

“‘Course, Professor Black.”

An average day in second year. Professor Black - Y/n - taught History of Magic after Professor Binns decided his time was up. Too long of teaching sleeping students who could care less about his lessons. However, once Y/n took over the position, kid's grades improved and people were no longer sleeping. She made things fun and inventive.

After class time was up, everyone filed out of the classroom aside from the blond Slytherin boy. Draco has always been on the good side of Professor Black. She was always extremely kind to him despite his rather sour attitude at times. But Draco was always hesitant to initiate a conversation to really speak his feelings to her. But this was the first time she had him stay after class.

Y/n pulled out the chair in front of her desk as he sat down. His white-blond hair and gleaming blue eyes. His young face, not yet defined. Y/n with her h/c hair and curious glinted e/c eyes.

“Draco, I want to start this by saying I don’t know what your home life is like.” Y/n began, “I went to Hogwarts with your parents, though, and he wasn’t always kind. Your mother was cordial with me, though.”

“If you don’t find me intruding, what’s your home life like?”

“I- Um- It’s good.” Stammered Draco, “Father and Mother are always kind.”

Y/n’s eyes glinted with curiosity, “Lucius tolerated me.”

“Tolerated you?”

“I married one of his best friends.” Y/n chuckled, “He didn’t have a choice.”

Draco tilted his head, “Sirius?”

“Oh heavens no!” Y/n exclaimed, “Regulus. Sirius Black's brother.”

“My- My dead cousin?” He queried.

She nodded, “Yes. I married Regulus right after graduation. His parents weren’t thrilled, but he loved me so, here we are.”

“May I ask a question?”

“Shoot.”

“What were his parents like?”

“Horrible. The worst.” Y/n spat, “Sirius got the worst of it, but Regulus did occasionally too.”

“Walburga and Orion were awful. Using the crucio curse is not a great punishment for kids.” Draco’s eyes widened, “Both of them had scars from the curse. Sirius ran away at sixteen, and Regulus was used as their puppet. So used that at the age of eighteen, he felt like he had to prove himself. Which inevitably got him killed.”

“How did you deal with it?”

“Well, would you like my honest answer or my Professor answer?”

“Honest, please.”

“Between you and I, I still haven’t gotten over it.” Y/n shrugged, “I see something that reminds me of him, and I’m back at the start all over again. It takes time, and it’s taken plenty of time, but here I am, doing what I love. Teaching kids.”

“Anyways.” Y/n smiled, “You’re dismissed. I’m sorry I took up your time. However, if you ever feel the need to speak with me, let me know. Okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Draco picked up his bag, rustling as he stood up. The blond boy was still digesting all the information he gained. He couldn’t believe that his cousins got the crucio curse for a punishment. He thought his parents were bad. Theirs was way worse. Draco was about to walk out of the classroom but turned last minute to look at his Professor.

“Professor?”

“Yes, Draco?”

“There’s-“ He swallowed, “There’s a Quidditch match this Saturday. Slytherin versus Ravenclaw. If you have the time, I’d like you to come.”

“Of course. I’ll be there.” Y/n smiled.

He walked out of the room without a second stop. He felt better about himself now. He had someone who genuinely seemed to care about him. Draco didn’t trust her just yet, but he wouldn’t be opposed to speaking with her as he had just now in the future. Professor Black had always been open and honest with her students. Perhaps that’s why kids liked her so much.

Saturday arrived quicker than Y/n would’ve hoped for one reason. She, herself, didn’t own any Slytherin-colored merchandise anymore. But there was a box in her quarters that she brought with her to Hogwarts every year. Regulus’s old clothes meaning all his scarfs, ties, button-ups, pants, hats, etc. Y/n couldn’t seem to get rid of them. Frankly, she didn’t want to get rid of them either.

Carefully she pulled the cardboard box from the top of her closet. Taking a pair of scissors and breaking the tape seal she had put on it multiple years ago. Inside laid many pieces of the evergreen and silver cloth. Y/n’s hands gravitated to the green and silver scarf. Bringing it to her nose, she was shocked. It still smelt like him. Godric, this was going to be more challenging than she initially thought.

Nonetheless, she put it around her neck along with her button-up and tight-fit pants. Y/n put on the green gloves, much too big for her but had fit Regulus perfectly, the tie, and the scarf. It brought her a sense of nostalgia. It made Y/n feel like she was a fifth-year going out with Regulus on a date to Hogsmeade. But she wasn’t fifteen or in fifth year. Y/n was a Professor and a full-grown adult. And Regulus was dead.

The game was going well for Slytherin at the beginning. But like most Quidditch games, things can change rather quickly. Ravenclaw was studious. That was for sure. They played skillfully. Y/n sat in the Professor stands with the rest of her colleagues. She sat between McGonagall and Flitwick. But white-blond hair caught her attention in front of her. Lucius Malfoy was here spectating his son.

McGonagall nudged her, “Where’d you get the Slytherin gear?”

“Regulus.”

“How have you been, dear?” McGonagall questioned softly, “It’s been a whirlwind, but nothing I can do will bring him back, so ‘m still here for him. It’s what he would’ve wanted.” Y/n replied.

Minerva placed a hand on the girl's knee, “If you need anything, let me know.”

“‘Course, Professor.”

The game ended tragically. Slytherin had just tied the game when Cho Chang had caught sight of the snitch. Sadly, she was able to grasp it before Draco. Leaving Slytherin with two-hundred and thirty points while Ravenclaw ended with three-hundred and eighty points. Lucius seemed furious with this conclusion and stormed off the stands. Y/n knew something was up, so she followed him.

She came up in a deserted hallway in Hogwarts. Draco stood - now changed into the usual Hogwarts robes - and his father stood before him. From the view she had, Draco’s back was to her, and his father was towering over the boy.

Lucius had a cold and icy voice, “You are insufferable!”

“You had one job, Draco! One! Catch the damn snitch.” He scolded, “Perhaps you were too daft to figure that out?”

“‘M sorry, father. I didn’t mean to. Honest.” Draco was pleading and begging for mercy; it made Y/n’s heartache at the familiar words.

“Mum, Dad, I seriously didn’t mean to!” Regulus had cried after breaking a vase, “Excuses, excuses, they won’t get you anywhere in life, boy!” Orion shouted.

Tears collected in his silver eyes, “‘M sorry! ‘M so sorry!”

Walburga pointed her wand at him, “Crucio.”

Lucius scoffed, “Malfoy’s don’t cry, wipe those tears.”

“Should‘ve sent you to Durmstrang. You come to Hogwarts and forget everything I’ve ever taught you.”

“Father, I really didn’t mean to! She just got there faster than me.” Draco begged.

Y/n saw it before Draco did. Lucius raised his palm slowly, and Draco flinched. Y/n saw the pale hand rise into the air, and without a second thought, she ran in front of the young boy, taking the blow that was meant for Lucius’ son. Draco heard the sound but never felt the impact. Carefully he opened his eyes to see Professor Black standing in front of him, a hand on her cheek.

“How dare you get in the way!” Lucius yelled, “How dare I? How dare you for trying to leave a hand on your son!” Y/n retorted her bright cheek red from impact.

Draco was appalled, “Draco is your son! Not a toy or a puppet, and I will not stand for this!”

“You don’t have to, half breed.” Lucius seethed, “As you said, he’s my son. Not yours.”

“I could give less fucks!” Y/n exclaimed, “Draco is my student. I will not be having you lay your hands on my students.”

Lucius scoffed, “Where’s your child, mm?”

“Right, you don’t have one.” Lucius answered, “Because your blood-traitor of a husband decided to get himself killed!”

“Regulus was not a blood-traitor for trying to right his wrongs!”

“Regulus and Sirius were no different from each other.”

“Leave them out of this!”

“Oh, so it’s still a soft spot for you?”

“So help me, I’ll-“

“Petrificus Totalus.” Draco stated while holding his wand, causing his father to fall to the ground, paralyzed.

Y/n stared at the body in shock, “Draco.”

She didn’t even have time to reprimand him before he burst into tears. Y/n turned quickly and embraced him into a much-needed hug while the boy sobbed on her shoulder. Y/n’s hands went through Draco’s white-blond hair gently while he let every emotion out. She pulled away and wiped the tears on his cheeks.

“You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Y/n informed, and Draco nodded, “Th- Thank you, Professor.”

Y/n smiled and sent him off to the Slytherin common room, leaving her to deal with Lucius. The Professor dragged him to Madam Pomfrey to deal with. Later that night, in her quarters, while brushing her teeth, she noticed the considerable bruise covering her left cheek: Blue and purple hues mixed to create a dark blue-violet looking color, almost grey.

Sixth year was now here. Y/n’s fourth year of teaching at Hogwarts, and she couldn’t have asked for a better job. On September 1st, she went through the floo-network to arrive in her teacher's quarters. Looking at the time, it seemed that students were just about reaching onto the grounds when a knock sounded at her door.

“Come in!”

A blond boy, much taller, defined face, and grey eyes had just walked into her teacher's quarters, “Good evening, Professor.”

“Good evening, Draco.” Y/n greeted smiling brightly, “What's on your mind, sweetheart?”

Draco didn’t know where to begin as water collected on his lower lash line, and gently he pulled up his left sleeve. Godric, it felt like deva Vu all over again.

“Y- Y/n.” Regulus called through his tears, “What’s wrong, baby?” Y/n asked, sitting beside him on the four-poster bed.

Regulus couldn’t help the tears that helplessly fell down his cheeks. His eyes were silver and blurred. Cheeks flushed and hair knotted. This past summer had been a shit show for him with Sirius running away and just everything that had gone on. Regulus had never felt this hopeless before.

“I- I need your help.”

“Of course, anything, baby.”

He swallowed, “Just know that I’ll love you forever. Okay?”

“‘Course.”

Gently, he released a breath of air and pulled up his left sleeve. The combined snake and skull only meaning one thing. Regulus was now a death eater to the Dark Lord. Tears sprung in Y/n’s eyes but not because of disappointment but because of worry. She didn’t know what she would do if Regulus were to be gone.

“They forced me!” Regulus pleaded, “Please, please don’t leave me.”

Regulus was weeping, and Y/n took him into her arms, “Shh, shh, I’m not disappointed. I’m just worried about you.”

“I don’t wanna- I don’t wanna do this.” Regulus whimpered, “Please help me.”

“I’m gonna help you ‘m love. Don’t worry.”

“What happened this summer?” Y/n asked as Draco pulled back down his sleeve.

“Auntie Bella.”

Draco was trying so hard to swallow his tears as his Professor was now face to face with him, “Draco.”

How was her voice so sweet and calm, almost like she had done this before, “It’s okay to show emotion. It’s being human. Let it go, darling.”

Just like that, the dam broke, and Draco was a sobbing mess again. How was it that Professor Black had always managed to feel more like home than his actual parents? What had his mum done for him while Bellatrix was giving him the mark? She had just stood there watching pain contort on his face. Y/n felt more like a mother to him, more like family to him.

“Shh. Shh. You’re safe here, Draco.”

“They- They want me-“ He was choking on his words, and Y/n placed her hands on his shoulders, “Take deep breaths and then explain. Okay?”

He began to inhale and exhale air at a slow pace, “They want me to-“ Draco swallowed, “They want me to kill Dumbledore.”

“Okay.” Y/n stated, letting out a breath of air, “You and I will get through this.”

“You- You promise?”

“I promise.”

Perhaps it was instinct now for Draco to stay after in her classroom. After every lesson, Draco would visit her in her classroom just to be in her company or to talk. What was it about Y/n that drew these people close to her? Ones with broken souls who believed that couldn’t be helped. Was it her kindness? Perhaps it was her caring nature—too many variables to pinpoint.

The moment Y/n heard crying in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, she knew something was wrong. Approaching cautiously, she saw Harry Potter doing the same behind Draco, who stood facing the basin, dried tears on his cheeks. Everything happened too fast for Y/n to understand. But when Harry spoke an incantation that left Draco bleeding out on the floor, everything changed.

She was jumping into action hastily, falling to her knees beside the blond-haired boy while Harry was almost in tears at his mistake. Y/n took her wand out and began muttering spells to heal the boy's chest. Harry was now in a heap on the floor, tears filling his glorious emerald eyes while the Professor took care of his harm. It took ten minutes before the bleeding stopped, and Y/n turned to face Harry.

“Harry.”

“‘M sorry. I- I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad I was here.” Y/n replied, and Harry looked like a mess, “I need you to go to the Gryffindor tower and not speak of this to anyone, okay?”

He nodded and stood up sluggishly. Harry left the bathroom, leaving Y/n with an unconscious Draco. Sighing heavily, she picked up the boy and lugged him to the hospital wing, where he was taken care of. The following day an owl was pecking at Y/n’s window, leading her to wake up and take the note from the owl’s foot.

“Draco won’t stop calling for you.”

Y/n freshened up, brushing her teeth, hair, and a change of clothes before making her way to the Hospital Wing. It was quite a ways away from. Her section of the school, but if Draco needed her, she needed to be there even if it was six o’clock in the morning. Her shoes made a light tap along with the wood as she walked and hesitantly opened the big door to the infirmary.

“Oh, thank Merlin!” Madam Pomfrey said with her hand over her heart, “Draco has been asking for you, my dear.”

She gave a tiny smile as Pomfrey pointed to where Draco was lying. Carefully she stripped back some of the white curtain and pulled a chair beside his bed. Y/n took his hand in his. It was cold and pale. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine holding Regulus’ hand in the same exact way after a horrible Bludger accident.

An hour later, Draco finally woke up, “Mornin’ sweetheart.”

“Professor, you- you came.”

She smiled, “You called for me, of course, I’d come.”

Draco pushed himself up into a sitting position, his grey eyes locked on her warm e/c ones, “Sorry, I just, didn’t expect you to come.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel okay. Little sore but nothing I haven’t been through.”

Y/n smiled sadly, “I knew a boy just like you, you know?”

“You did?” Draco asked, and she nodded, “I did.”

“Could you tell me about him?”

“Well, he was strong, smart, and closed off. His home life wasn’t too great either and was forced into being what his parents were too.” Draco looked eager for more, “Eventually, he realized that this wasn’t the life he wanted. He no longer cared about his parent's approval. He just wanted to be him, but by then, it was too late.”

“Too late?”

She nodded, “He was already in too late, so he did the only thing he thought of. Betraying his parents, his family. He was so caught up in what he was doing he didn’t realize what he was doing, and now, because of that, he’s no longer with us.”

“But you aren’t too late, Draco.” Y/n stressed, tightening her grip on his hand, “Let me save you. Let me help you.”

Tears ebbed at the corners of his eyes, “Please.”

Y/n took him in her arms and rubbed his back soothingly, “You aren’t alone. I’m here for you.”

It took months, but everything was over. It felt like time had stopped. Y/n could remember the terror standing outside of Hogwarts as the death eaters stood on the other side. Narcissa was calling for him - the boy who had no choice - and Draco was panicking as Lucius began calling his name.

Draco swallowed and shook his head.

It was the feeling of relief that brought Y/n solace. Draco took the step that Regulus took, and she would make sure he didn’t pay for it. The relief felt like a breath of fresh air now that the war was over. Y/n had stepped into the Great Hall panicking, hoping, praying that he was okay. At that moment she saw it.

He was crouched in the corner. People were glaring at him all around. Draco saw. He saw the Weasleys crying over Fred. He saw Harry look empty, staring at Remus Lupin and Nymphadora. The way Lavender Brown’s parents sobbed over her dead body. He saw the way Dennis Creevey was yelling and screaming in pain at seeing his deceased older brother. Draco could remember how close they were.

Nonetheless, he stood up and ran into her arms: his solace, home, and safe place. Draco couldn’t remember what it felt like to be held this tight. He dug his nose into her neck and just remembered to breathe. She pulled away to see a small smile playing on his lips. Y/n cupped his cheeks gently.

“I’m so, so proud of you.” Y/n smiled, “I can't explain how proud I am of you. You did it.”

Draco smiled and leaned into her hands, “Thanks, mum.”

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crankynewt · 3 years

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Good for a Weekend (Helmut Zemo)

Masterlist

Summary: You were retired, a disgraced Avenger content living the rest of their life out in solitude. But Sam and Bucky's shenanigans dragged you back into the hero life and you found yourself face to face with the man who'd got you into this mess in the first place. The question is, however, is he really who you thought he was? Or are you just as crazy as him?

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x Reader

Warnings: TFAWS Episode 3 Spoilers, Zemo (he's a warning), swearing, mentions of torture and experimenting (past), drinking, Zemo being semi-protective, I think that's it??

Word Count: 3.41k

Author's Note: Biting the bullet and writing this BEFORE Marvel does something to get us to hate him again. Also, ZEMO AND BLANK SPACE WORK SO WELL TOGETHER OMG.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” You murmured, looking at the message from Sam flashing across your phone. Although you had stopped dead in your tracks, the chaos of the bustling streets of London continued around you. You pushed your sunglasses further up your nose, them having fallen down as you were peering at the screen of your burner cell.

‘Need your help in Madripoor ASAP,’ the text read. You weren’t daft, you knew exactly what kind of lawless entropy happened on that Indonesian island and if Sam was asking for your help, that meant he was in some deep shit.

‘I’m retired,’ you replied, glancing over your shoulder out of habit. Although you’d been pardoned after the Berlin incident by the government, you were still a disgraced Avenger in the eyes of the world. All you wanted was to live the rest of your life out in peace, a future without the world-saving you began when you left HYDRA with the Maximoff twins.

You hadn’t chosen to become a human lab rat, tortured and exposed to the mind stone until you could suddenly hear the thoughts of others in your head. Telepathy and telekinesis were not necessarily the kind of special skills that employers wanted to see on a resume, but alas, here you were. Thankfully, however, you'd learned to block them out until necessary to violate people's privacy. Fighting aliens and other superpowered entities, including the people you’d once considered to be your family, were in the past.

‘Please. It’s Bucky,’ Sam messaged again. Those three words were enough to make your blood run cold and your heart stop. Bucky was the reason you were in this mess in the first place, and you would be damned if the ex-assassin was going to fall back into the clutches of evil.

With a sigh, you typed back ‘fine’ and began the trek towards your apartment. Your phone was vibrating again immediately, Sam explaining that they would be picking you up at a small airstrip on the edge of the city.

Three hours later, you were walking along a long, concrete runway, the harsh England wind attacking your body as you pulled your leather jacket tighter around you. Your brows furrowed in confusion at the sight of a civilian jet rather than the military-esque vessels you’d become accustomed to. The steps were awaiting your ascent with an older man stood adjacent to the entrance.

“Ms.(Y/L/N),” he greeted. A thick accent laced his tone, one you couldn’t quite determine from the crackling of age in his voice. German or Russian, most likely, you deduced. Attempting to be polite despite your skepticism, you gave him a tight-lipped smile and handshake before the elder man gestured towards the stairs for you. Entering the jet, you turned right to be met with the familiar faces of Sam and Bucky.

“(Y/N)!” Bucky exclaimed, rising from his seat and embracing you in a hug. He held you tightly against his body, almost as if he wasn’t sure you were really there. The super soldier had taken a liking to you when the two of you stayed in Wakanda during your exile, both of you having a certain understanding of the other due to your shared experiences with HYDRA. The sergeant had become somewhat of a brother to you in your time away together. “What are you doing here?”

“Sam messaged me.” You replied, Barnes’ arms immediately releasing you as he whipped around to face Sam.

“You tattled on me to (Y/N)?” He scoffed. If looks could kill, Sam would have dropped dead from the darkness in Bucky’s orbs.

“Wait, if he’s okay then what am I here for?” You said, shifting your gaze to Sam as you raised a brow.

“You’re here to make sure that he stays in line.” Sam snapped, crossing his arms over his chest as Bucky let out an exasperated ‘Jesus Christ’ under his breath.

“Bucky’s fine, Sam.” You replied, rubbing your face with your hand in annoyance as you glanced at the super-soldier.

“He’s not talking about James.” A new voice sounded from behind you, one both vaguely familiar but also strange. Whipping around, you were met with a face you’d only ever seen through a screen. Zemo.

“What the fuck is he doing out of prison?!” You exclaimed, looking between Sam and Bucky in utter disbelief.

“Bucky broke him out of jail!” Sam exclaimed, pointing a finger towards the super-soldier.

“Sam’s the one who pulled me into this mess!” Bucky pointed back.

“You two morons have reached a whole new level of dumbassery!” You exclaimed, keeping a cautious gaze on Zemo in the corner of your eye. “You broke out the man who ripped apart the Avengers out of jail and you let him do it?! The same man who killed King T’Chaka! Do neither of you remember what T’Challa and the people of Wakanda just did for us after we became enemies of the state?! I cannot believe that you would betray their trust and help this monster to escape!”

You paused for a moment, breathing heavily as you looked at the ashamed faces of Bucky and Sam in front of you.

“I’m sorry to-” You heard Zemo begin, you turned to face him with utter rage shining in your eyes. “No! The grown-ups are talking, you can wait your turn.” You scolded him, almost as you would a child but just a tad harsher. Grown-ups may have also not have been the best choice of words to describe Wilson and Barnes.

“I don’t want any part of this suicide mission!” You snapped at the duo, moving to leave.

Thirty minutes later, however, you were still on the jet, glaring into a pair of brown eyes as the four of you flew through the air. Honestly, you couldn’t believe you were still there, but Sam and Bucky knew you too well and pushed just the right buttons to convince you to stay. Sam needed you to tap into Zemo’s mind if need be to figure out if he was planning on betraying them, and you didn’t want two of the last people you trust getting themselves killed if you could prevent it.

Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum were sitting across from each other, meaning that you got stuck sitting across from the Baron in silence. He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze, the darkness in your (Y/E/C) orbs not sitting well with the man.

“So, you read minds.” He began, rubbing his hands together anxiously. You noted the nervous tick and couldn’t help but feel amused at his discomfort, but your expression never faltered.

“You don’t need to make small talk.” You bit, your icy tone growing colder in every syllable.

“I’m genuinely curious, is all.” He began, pausing his fiddling to brush his hair back only to resume it once more. “It just seems like for someone with your abilities, you’re often an overlooked member of the team. You’re the most powerful, even more so than Maximoff or Banner, perhaps, yet you were never truly an Avenger, were you?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m retired.” You muttered, ending your glaring to gaze out the window. The way Zemo spoke about you was unsettling, especially considering how he felt about the Avengers. He seemed not to think that you were part of the team, similarly to Bucky, and that brought you a feeling of unease.

“And why is that?” Zemo pushed, your avoidance evidence that he’d struck a chord.

“Why do you care?” You scoffed, looking back at the Sokovian man, both annoyance and exhaustion present in your tone.

“Because I think you’re like me.” He answered, his tone becoming quieter. Zemo didn’t look at you with the same rage you’d seen in footage from 2016, nor with the amusement that he gazed at Bucky and Sam with. No, it was something different, softer and analytical, perhaps. You wanted to peer into his mind for something, anything to figure out what he was thinking, but he would likely feel your prodding into his consciousness. As of now, he didn’t seem to have any plans to betray you guys, and you wouldn’t be the one to give him a reason.

“That’s enough from you.” Bucky interrupted, rising from his seat to switch places with you, his brotherly possessiveness clear as day.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and Zemo provided the three of you with costumes for the roles you were to play in Madripoor. Yours seemed to have been designed specifically to be horribly uncomfortable, both in feel and the amount of skin that was exposed in the cool evening air. The three of you were making your way towards the glowing city shining in the distance, the nerves in your stomach rising with each step.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp.” Zemo explained in response to Sam’s protests over his own outfit. “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”

“He even has a bad nickname.” Sam said, looking at the picture of Conrad on the phone Zemo had just handed him. “Hell, he does look like me though.”

“And who am I supposed to be playing, exactly?” You questioned, still unsure as to what role you would be playing in this scheme.

“My partner,” Zemo said simply, an amused smile working his way onto his lips.

“What?! No! Nu-uh, I’m not doing that!” You protested, Sam chuckling at your denial of what was probably inevitable.

“Would you rather the alternative of all of us getting slaughtered the second we step foot into the city?” Zemo retorted, still humored by your resistance.

“Fine, but if you try anything I’m going to break your nose.” You gave in.

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

Soon, the four of you were making your way into a bar, Helmut’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist since the second you exited the car in a mock possessiveness. It was all part of the charade, you had to remind yourself, as the Baron kept your side pressed against his snugly.

Making your way up to the counter, the bartender didn’t look impressed to see the group of you there as he made his way over to you.

“Hello,” He began. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”

“His plans changed. We have a business to do, with Selby.” Zemo interjected before Sam could respond.

“The usual?” The bartender ignored Zemo and turned his attention back to Sam, who simply gave a curt nod in response. The bartender turned, grabbing a snake from a jar and slicing it down the underside with a blade. A part of you wanted to cackle, especially seeing Sam stiffen beside you, and you didn’t doubt that Bucky was having to restrain himself as well. Zemo didn’t seem surprised as the bartender pulled who knows what out from the snake and placed it into a glass.

“Smiling Tiger, your favorite.” The Baron commented, the bartender sliding Sam his beverage only to pour two glasses of a different liquor for Zemo and yourself.

“I love these,” Sam said, raising to clink glasses with yourself and the Sokovian man whose arm was still draped around you.

“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo replied, smiling back at poor Sam. The three of you downed your burning liquor, Sam struggling the most out of the three of you, clearly appalled by the organ at the bottom of his shot. You could see Bucky give a little nod in the corner of your eye, knowing he must be finding this as amusing as you were.

A man soon approached Helmut from behind, tapping him on the shoulder before he turned to face the stranger, shifting you with him. When Zemo felt the little nudge, he immediately pulled you closer to him. You were even tighter against him now, so much so that you had to wrap an arm around him as well to stabilize yourself. It was almost as if he was trying to shield you from the man despite him knowing full well that you can hold your own.

“I got word from on high; you ain’t welcome here.” He spat, getting too close to the two of you for either of your likings. But Zemo kept his air of indifference while you instinctually moved closer into his side. It’s all an act, remember? You have to play the part of the clingy partner who would get frightened at such a rough man threatening you two. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo began, trailing off as he gestured to Bucky.

“New haircut?” The strange man asked Bucky, who merely glowered in response.

“Or bring Selby for a chat.” Zemo finished, this time him being the one to get into the man’s face. Thankfully that was enough to send him away, most likely to Selby or this Power Broker who seems to be Madripoor’s own version of Big Brother.

You could feel Zemo let out a breath that you don’t think he even knew he was holding, giving a quick glance down at you before placing a peck on your temple. For the facade, of course. But what wasn’t fake were the butterflies rise in your stomach, something that you hadn’t felt in a long time. Were you… Flustered?

No, you reminded yourself internally. This was a very bad man holding you close, the same one who killed the former King of Wakanda and ripped your team to shreds. Not only that, but he hated all the Avengers, so why did he seem to like you? It doesn’t matter whether or not he likes you, he’s Zemo. But the more time you spent with him, the more intoxicated you became. He was starting to look more and more like your next mistake, and love is certainly not a game you wanted to be playing with him. Right?

The next thirty or so minutes were a blur. Bucky having to fake being the Winter Soldier to kick a bunch of men’s asses to finally meeting up with Selby, only for Sam to break your cover through a phone call and Selby quickly being shot. The four of you promptly exited the bar, attempting to remain inconspicuous until bounty hunters from all around started shooting at you. Bucky and Sam jumped forward, meanwhile, Zemo darted to the right, dragging you with him as he moved his hand from your waist to interlock your fingers.

You cut through alleyway after alleyway, hiding in the shadows as gunfire echoed around you. Eventually, you managed to catch up with Bucky and Sam, approaching the pair with your hand still in his.

“Well this is too perfect.” A female voice interrupted your mini-reunion, Sharon Carter emerging from the shadows as she ripped down her hood, gun fixated on Zemo.

“Drop it Zemo,” She started, Zemo raising his gun-holding hand before lowering the weapon to the ground. “You cost me everything.”

“Sharon, wait.” You reasoned, raising your hand as you slowly backed up.

“What, are you his lover now? His sugar baby or some shit?” She badgered you, causing your eyes to widen as you only just remembered that you were still holding his hand. You quickly dropped it, raising it to match your other arm as Zemo sent you a look that you couldn’t decipher. Oh, how desperately you wanted to look into his mind, but the little bit of sanity left in you told you to leave it be.

“Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead,” Sam explained.

“That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.” Sharon replied, gun still pointed at your group.

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky questioned the blonde.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass so that you could save his ass from his ass and became a criminal with their ass.” She explained, pointing the gun at each mention of whoever's ass it was that turn. “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up, so, I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”

“Hey, don’t blow that smoke. I was on the run, too.” Sam rebutted Sharon’s complaints.

“Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore - I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”

“Listen…” You began. “Sharon, we need your help, the former agent only laughing in response. “Please.”

“This isn’t over.” She conceded, shaking her head at you. “I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”

Sharon’s place was definitely nicer than yours is now, and you’re not even on the run anymore. She, thankfully, had a change of clothes for you to slip into, the soft material much a welcome relief from the tortuous item Zemo had you wearing.

While you were waiting for Sharon’s guests to begin arriving for whatever event would soon be taking place downstairs, everybody slowly filtered out of the room until it was only Zemo and yourself remaining.

“Can I ask you a question?” You spoke up, breaking the silence from your spot on the sofa as you glanced towards the Baron seated across the room.

“Ask away.” He smiled, taking a sip from the amber liquid in his glass.

“What did you mean earlier, when you said we were the same.” Your voice was quiet now, so much so that you weren’t sure if he’d even heard you. That is until he got up from his seat and slowly walked towards you.

“I never wanted to tear the Avengers apart, not until they killed my family. Destroyed my city… Sure, I didn’t like them, but I didn’t want to destroy them. It was all about vengeance.” He began, sitting beside you on the yellow fabric. “For you, it was HYDRA who ruined your life. You joined the Avengers because it was where the last people you had left were going and it was the easiest way for you to ensure the organization was destroyed. You never wanted the idolization that came with being a hero, and it was clear when your work was done that you had no desire to keep going. Everything that came after the Sokovia Accords was out of survival.”

“I’m not saying you're right,” you began, “but what would that make me, then? Insane? Cause that seems to be the running theory.”

“You’re not crazy, despite how rumors fly. Neither am I, really.” He began, eliciting a small smile from you at the last bit he added. “You’re a fighter, someone doing whatever it takes to get their agenda done. Whether that means breaking the law or joining the Avengers, nothing will stop you once you put your mind to it - it’s one of the things I admire about you.”

You pursed your lips as you focused on the amber fluid floating in its crystalline home, him taking another sip of the burning liquid. Your gaze shifted back to his face, and oh god, look at that face. Maybe it was the liquor in your system already or maybe your last bit of sanity was finally escaping your mind, but suddenly his past didn’t seem to matter anymore. You had plenty of red on your ledger as well, and the more he spoke the more you began to sympathize with him.

“So you admire me?” You smirked, crossing your arms as you tilted your head slightly to the right playfully.

“Why don’t you look into my mind and tell me?” He replied. Reaching out, you gently placed your fingers against his temple as you gazed into his consciousness. Flashes of magic and madness, ideas of a love that could be forever or go down in flames. You didn’t go searching deeper, because your own mind was racing. Would pursuing this be worth all the pain that could very well follow? No, not could, would. You’d be betraying your former teammates, but what did that matter much anymore.

Rather than pulling your hand away, you placed your lips gently on his, tentatively, even. He tasted of expensive liquor and a hint of peppermint, and you found yourself intoxicated. The kiss ended far too soon for your liking, him pulling away so his brown orbs could gaze into your own.

“So… What do you say?” He asked, cupping your cheek in his hand, you place your own over top of his.

“Why not?” You smiled back, reconnecting your lips to his.

“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.”

Taglist:

@fanfictionedagain @lam-ila @b0nnyzz @haydieenzzibug @cyanide-mustard @duchess-of-new-shire @the-chocoholic-writer @milenadixon @real-fbi @golddenlioness

#i feel so guilty writing this lmao #i hate liking zemo rip #helmut zemo #zemo #helmut zemo x reader #tfaws #marvel #baron zemo #helmut zemo imagine #daniel bruhl #mcu #tfaws imagine #bucky barnes #sam wilson #zemo x reader #zemo imagine

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freelancearsonist · 2 years

Text

The Wages of Sin

priest!Matt Murdock x fem!Reader

Rated MA for a lots of religious references and sacrilege, a lil bit of angst and self doubt, surprisingly tame smut? i mean there is still touching and orgasm included so not too tame

2,665 words

A/N: umm... sorry god 😂 (p.s. thank you to @yourbucky084 for betaing ily shannon)

“Umm… I’m sorry, Father. I’ve never done this before. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say.”

He chuckles, not unkindly. You’re not sure he has the ability to be unkind. “Start by saying ‘bless me, Father, for I have sinned.’ And how long it’s been since your last confession.”

You take a deep breath, swallow down your nerves. You know nothing good with come of this, but you fool yourself into thinking that it’ll make you feel better.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.”

When you pause, he lets out a gentle chuckle. “What brings you here today?”

“Oh right. I…” another deep breath. This is it. “I’m not… really catholic. Not until recently. But… I need a little faith because I think I’ve committed a sin that I can’t take back.”

“There’s no sin that God won’t forgive,” he assures you. That gentle tone of his is ever-present.

“I’ve fallen for a man that I can’t have,” you start, breath hitching and your traitorous eyes already tearing up.

“Why do you think this is a sin you can’t return from?” He seems genuinely curious—genuinely passionate about helping you. He’s a good man.

“He’s a priest,” you whisper. “A… man of the cloth.”

He’s silent for a long moment, almost so long that you’re worried he hasn’t heard you.

“It’s natural to want companionship,” he murmurs after a long moment. “As long as you haven’t acted on these urges, you’ve committed no sin.”

“I have. Acted on it.”

You hear his breath catch, and it startles you. You’re sure he was trained not to show any reaction to the things he learns from penitents, so letting such a reaction slip is a huge deal.

“How… how have you acted on this urge?”

You don’t want to get your hopes up. By now he has to know you’re confessing your attraction to him, and yet he still remains professional.

“I… I’ve touched myself. Thought about what his hands would feel like on my body. And… the worst part is, I came here, I came to confess, in hopes that he would return my feelings. I came here to corrupt a holy man.”

There’s another long pause.

“For your penance, you’ll pray the Act of Contrition. And come back every day until Saturday to pray two Hail Marys and three Our Fathers.”

It feels like a dagger straight to the heart. Of course you didn’t expect him to give up his entire life and faith for you, but part of you had hoped he would. That he’s longed for you as much as you’ve ached for him.

But of course he hasn’t. He’s a good man, a holy man, and he can’t even see you. How would he know you would be worth giving up his entire livelihood for?

“In addition,” he continues, “you’re to meet me here next Saturday morning so we may begin to work on curing you of this urge.”

“Yes, father.” You sound broken, defeated. You are.

“I absolve you from your sins, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

It’s almost robotic as you repeat his “Amen.”

“Go in peace,” he tells you. There’s something softer to his tone, as if he regrets hurting you. You’re sure he does, and you feel even worse for it. You’ve caused him pain by being so selfish. He never had to know, he could’ve lived happily without you ever trying to make a move.

“Thank you, Father.” It’s nothing more than a whisper, you’re not sure he hears it at all.

You sit in the front row of the church, and for what it’s worth you pray harder than you’ve ever prayed before. You beg whatever God there is to relieve you of these feelings for a man you’ll never have because it’s just too much to bear.

You come back every day, just as he instructed. Just for a few minutes after work, since the church is on your way home. You read the prayers off of the card and beg for them to do their work, to release you of the sin you’re committing.

And then you go home and inevitably think about Matt. His voice, his lips, the way he moves his hands…

And the cycle repeats.

You feel nearly hopeless when Saturday comes and you realize you have to confront him face to face. You’ve never been so desperate to crawl deeper into your bed and never show your face again.

But you want to get better. You want closure for these unrequited feelings. That’s what makes you drag yourself out of bed and pull on your favorite dress. Maybe it’s an underhanded move, but you know his priestly resolve isn’t going to break, so what harm can looking your best really do? Especially when he can’t actually see you.

He almost seems surprised when you show up—even though he was the one who instructed you to come. His head turns towards you as you walk up the aisle towards where he’s sitting in the front, as if he can see you coming. Sometimes you wonder if he can, if he has a set of spiritual eyes or something that see more than your regular ones ever will.

“I almost thought you wouldn’t come,” he says, not unkindly, as you take your seat beside him.

“I almost didn’t,” you admit with a shy chuckle.

“You’re stronger than you think,” he tells you with a hint of admiration in his voice. “I know you’ve held fast and completed your penance.”

You don’t know exactly how he knows that, since you haven’t seen him once since your confession. But the praise warms your heart—maybe all of this work was worth it, after all.

“Do you have anything to confess today?” He asks with a kind smile.

“Nothing different from last time,” you say with a shrug that he can’t see.

“So you haven’t been able to fight these… urges of yours?”

“I’ve tried so hard, Father.” He can hear in your heartbeat that you’re telling the truth. “I want to get over this, to move on, I’ve never prayed so much in my life. But I can’t stop thinking about yo—him.”

He lets out a soft sigh—it’s as if he, too, mourns your lack of triumph.

“Will you help me to my office?”

You’ve seen him navigate the church without his cane enough times to know that he doesn’t need your help, but you can’t help eager accepting his request when he wraps his hand around your arm.

“I should admit something,” he tells you, nearly a whisper as you stand and start guiding him in the direction of the parish offices.

“I had hoped that when you returned today, you would have a victory to report. That you had conquered this urge of yours.”

You had hoped the same. More than anything, you had hoped that you could be near him without your heart racing your your mouth going dry.

“I’m both terrified and relieved to hear that you still struggle with this burden.”

This is the last thing you’re expecting him to say, and it nearly makes you choke.

“W-why?”

“Because I shared your feelings long before you came to confession, and the fact that they’re more permanent than I thought puts us in a delicate position.”

You’re sure you’re hallucinating. You have to be, because there’s no way Father Murdock is actually admitting that he has feelings for you, too.

“What… what position is that?”

A flicker of a smirk passes over his face as he folds his cane up and sets it down before rounding his desk to sit in his big, plush, leather chair.

“First, I think it’s time for another confession.”

You raise an eyebrow at this statement. “Shouldn’t we be in the booth for that?”

“The confidentiality of the sacrament is held wherever you decide to confess,” he explains. “The booth is more a formality than anything.”

You sit down across from him like the chair is made of feathers and if you move too fast it’ll collapse.

You take a deep breath. And then another. And then, “bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last confession.”

There’s a long pause as he waits for you to continue before finally pressing, “what have you done this week?”

“I’ve tried so hard not to think about you, Father. I’ve prayed constantly and begged God to release me of these urges and it hasn’t worked.”

Again, he asks, “what have you done?”

“I… I touched myself,” you admit, barely a whisper. “Almost every night.”

He shifts in his seat at this—widens his posture and uncrosses his arms to lean forward on the desk.

“Show me how.”

“Sh-show you?” Your voice is a barely audible squeak, but he still somehow manages to understand and it brings a smirk to his face.

“I can smell how turned on you are,” he tells you, as if it’s the most innocent statement in the world. “I wanna hear it, too.”

There’s a hard edge to the way he instructs you, but there’s also a softness to his voice that tells you this situation is entirely under your control. You can say no and walk out now and he won’t hold it against you. He’s not going to force you into anything you don’t want.

You’ve never felt safer with someone. And that’s what makes you turn around in your seat as Matt stands up.

“Will you unzip my dress?”

He rushes to your aid eagerly, hands tracing down your neck before finding the zipper in a way that sends a shiver down your spine. He knows it, too, if the low chuckle he lets out is any indication.

His fingers are feather-light as they trace down your spine—the groan he emits when he feels your lack of a bra sends another shiver through you.

“Did you know we would end up like this?” He mutters close to your ear, and you shake your head before remembering he can’t see the gesture.

“No. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think this would actually happen.”

“And yet here we are.” There’s a ton of satisfaction to his voice as he hears your dress drop to the floor. And then his fingertips are at your waist, hovering mere centimeters above the waistline of your panties. “May I?”

You nod this time, and he must feel it because he chuckles at the gesture.

“Let me hear you say it, baby girl.”

“Yes. Yes, please, Father Murdock.”

“Matt,” he corrects. And then he slides his fingers down over the soft fabric of your panties to cup your heat. “God forgive me, but there’s nothing holy about me right now.”

In a matter of seconds, Matt’s managed to completely overwhelm all of your senses. His fingers rubbing against your covered clit and his warm breath against your neck and his firm chest pressed against your back all work together to stimulate you in a way that almost makes your knees buckle.

You can’t help wondering if he knows how good he is, or if the effect he has on you is completely unconscious.

From the smirk that’s seemingly permanently plastered on his face, you’d place your bets on the former—that he knows he’s good. For a priest, he sure is one cocky fucker.

His fingers rub over your clit—even through your panties—with the skill of a harpist’s fingers on nylon strings. He relishes in the sweet sounds you make: the breathy sighs, the whined moans. Even without direct contact, he’s steadily urging you towards the cliff of your pleasure like a siren calling to a sailor.

“You sound so pretty,” he mumbles into your ear, and the hot flush of his breath makes the rest of your skin feel like it’s dipped in freezing water. “Do you always sound this beautiful when you feel good?”

You don’t even pause to think—don’t bother to formulate your answer before you shake your head. “Don’t know. Never felt this good.”

Oh, that pleases him. Without even meaning to, your response goes straight to his cock and makes him need you impossibly more than he already does. Which is really saying something—he’s hard as a log and pressing insistently against your ass in a way that makes you feel almost embarrassingly wet.

You’d make a joke about the two of you being a log ride together, but the only thing on your mind is how close you are to falling apart just from Matt rubbing firm circles on your clit through the soft fabric of your underwear.

“I wanna hear you fall apart for me,” he gasps—you can tell the strain of keeping his own arousal at bay is slowly weighing him down and if you don’t come soon, he’s going to snap.

Part of you wants him to. But part of you also wants to be selfish and take as much pleasure as you can wring from him because you’re still partially convinced that he’s going to change his mind and cast you away.

Pleasure is her own mistress though, and as such, you don’t have another moment to contemplate what you want before your body is shaking and Matt has to press his mouth to yours to keep you quiet.

“That’s it,” he coos. “That’s a good girl.”

You don’t know if his praises prolong your orgasm, or if you’re just so out of it from coming so hard that you can’t make sense of anything.

Again, you would place your bets on the former.

You slump in his arms without even realizing it—he supports your weight effortlessly, lets you come back to earth in his warm embrace as he presses sweet kisses to your neck and murmurs even sweeter praises in your ear.

“So good,” he tells you once you’ve mostly regained your bearings. “Even more perfect than I imagined.”

Matt’s response is seamless when the knock sounds on the office door—he gently pulls your dress back up your body and zips it up, then seats you in front of his desk. It takes only a matter of seconds, as if he was anticipating a surprise interruption. He probably was—you’re starting to realize that he’s a lot more intuitive than he should be, that he can see more than you could ever dream of seeing.

Matt answers the door, and you’re still just a bit too out of it to listen in to the brief whispered conversation between Matt and one of the other parish priests.

After just a few seconds, the door clicks shut and Matt’s hands are on your shoulders. They don’t stray from their position like you wish they would, though—they stay in place and he gently rubs your shoulders as he speaks.

“I need to take a trip to the hospital to give final rites,” he sighs—there’s a weight to his tone that you don’t quite recognize, but you can understand why it’s there. Surely final rites is the worst, most heavy part of his job. “Maybe… we can continue your penance tomorrow night? After dinner?”

“I’d like that,” you tell him earnestly as your hand reaches up to squeeze his.

You delight in the little smile that graces his face—in the way that the weight seems to be lifted temporarily at your touch.

“Okay,” he breathes, flipping his hand over to briefly intertwine his fingers with yours.

And then he’s gone, office door left open so you can leave on your own time.

Unintentionally, he’s left a weight on your shoulders. A weight that’s not nearly as pleasant as his hands.

THE END

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#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock smut #matt murdock fanfiction #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil smut #cece writes

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thescarletwitchsapprentice · 2 years

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Recovery Isn’t Instant (Wanda Maximoff x autistic!reader)

*Not my GIF

Summary: You just need to feel something, but the way you do it isn’t the best way. How it’d gotten past your telepathic girlfriend until tonight you may never know.

Word Count: 1,009

(CW: Self-harm, suicidal ideation, ableism, eugenics mention)

Author’s Note: I know I should be asleep, but I’m currently experiencing similar urges again and I just...I just need Wanda to hug me and tell me she’ll be there for me. It’s probably not going to be the best, but I’m not writing for quality, I’m writing for support. Also the y/n I’m writing about isn’t particularly experiencing touch aversion, but I’d love to try to write something for a touch averse autistic reader. However I’ll need help with it.

There’s almost a release of pressure from your head as you bite down on your arm. Yes, it hurts, but you felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t do something. Why you’d looked up all of this stuff about how people still wanted to get rid of autism, still trying to figure out if you actually had trauma, still feeling like your life is so goddamn turbulent, like it’s a boat stuck in a never-ending tempest and you have no clue how to steer it back on whatever course it diverted from.

This is a habit of yours; ever since you were young, you bit yourself whenever you were stressed or angry or overwhelmed, and it’s a habit you’ve been trying to keep hidden from others.

What you don’t know is that finally someone’s noticed.

Your heart pounds as all of the shit floods back into your mind. Your heart begins to race and you look at the bite mark on your arm. The pressure begins to rebuild and you’re about to bite once again.

The door opens.

“(Y/N)?” a gentle and concerned voice asks.

You look up from the floor to see your girlfriend Wanda Maximoff dressed in comfy PJs, her auburn hair beginning to dry from what you assume was a shower. She steps into your room.

“H-hey, Wanda,” you gulp as you try to hide your arm.

“No, it’s okay,” she tells you as she sits on the floor across from you. “I....you were somehow able to get it past me until tonight, but I’m glad I know now.”

You feel your stomach tense up as you anticipate the judgment.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how does this help you?”

To your surprise, there’s no note of judgment in her voice. She sounds genuinely curious and concerned. You take a while to gather your thoughts as the nighttime rain taps on your window, feeling anxious and awkward, feeling as though you’re wasting her time.

“Hey, it’s okay, (y/n),” she assures you. “I promise you’re not wasting my time.”

You take a few deep breaths.

“I.....I’ve done this ever since I was little. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or stress or angry or anxious, it’s become a way to block out things....I guess. It feels like there’s this sort of.....pressure in my head, and if I don’t release it somehow....I’m going to explode.....I’m sorry....”

“You have nothing to apologize for....”

“Sometimes I feel like I have to apologize for existing....”

“....I didn’t realize how severe these feelings have become for you....I can imagine how terrifying it must feel, but I promise that there’s no shame in asking for help. And I’m more than willing to support you and be there for you.”

“But.....why waste your energy on me?”

“Y/N, I love you so much,” she says, holding out her hands, the way you two established her asking if you’re comfortable with physical contact. You gently place your palms in hers, indicating hand holding. She gently takes hold and rubs the back of your hand with her thumb, something you find soothing.

“I don’t see it as wasting my energy when it’s for someone I truly love and care about, and you are someone I care about and love, truly. I want to be there for you however I can. I understand that you need a way of coping, but there are better ways to do it than hurting yourself. Listening to music, reading, cuddling, whatever it turns out to be, I’ll be there to support you.”

“And.....if I relapse?”

“If you relapse, then that’s okay, sweetheart; recovery isn’t instant. It takes quite a while. What matters is that you start the process. And even then, that may not always be easy. Like I said, asking for help can feel terrifying.”

You nod.

“It does feel terrifying.” A few tears begin to form in your eyes and you glance down.

For some time, you two sit there in silence as you collect your thoughts. How are you supposed to ask for help? What if you get rejected? How.....? An idea occurs to you. Finally you look back up at her.

“Wanda,” you sigh, feeling your stomach tense up. “I.....I need help.”

Hearing this, Wanda gives a soft smile. You move a hand to her upper arm, indicating that you want a hug. Gently she embraces you as she rubs your back while the tears pour down like a waterfall. It’s this release of emotion--catharsis--and it feels as though a small weight is being lifted off of you. At the same time, the light scent of apple wafts into your nose as you find yourself near her hair. You sniff it, letting out light sniffles.

“Your hair smells amazing, Wanda,” you tell her softly.

She gives an endearing giggle.

“Thank you. Do you want me to sleep beside you tonight, sweetheart?” she asks you.

“Mm-hmm,” you mumble, already feeling a bit tired from all of the tears you just shed.

You two slowly pull from the hug.

“How are you feeling now?” she asks.

You nod.

“A bit better.”

“Good. I’m gonna get a few things real quick. I should be back in about 5 to 10 minutes.”

She gets up and heads out. You begin to feel the sleepiness take over and you head over to your dresser before pulling out your favorite pajamas that Wanda gave you. You put them on and about seven minutes later, Wanda returns with a soft blanket and another pillow. You crawl into bed as she turns out the lights before crawling in beside you.

“Cuddles?” you ask.

“Yes, we can cuddle if you want.”

You feel her gently hug you close.

“Lullaby?”

“I’d love to.”

Gently petting your head, she softly sings a Sokovian lullaby to you as you begin to drift off. Just before you fall asleep, you hear her say six words that make you feel a bit more reassured that there’s at least one person who has your back.

“I’m so proud of you, y/n...”

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x autistic!reader #wanda maximoff x reader #avengers x autistic!reader #autistic!reader #i just want her to cuddle me and be my big sister #marvel #avengers

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rin-itoshi · 3 years

Text

kisses . genshin impact (pt. 2)

> summary: places the genshin boys kiss you other than the lips (ft. bennett, chongyun, razor, xiao, xingqiu, zhongli)

> content: fluff , gn!reader , ooc(?idk)

here’s part one!

# BENNETT

where: your palm!

why: this man does not know how to stfu, so when you have to forcefully shush him, your palm is the best spot for his lips to kiss.

“It’s awfully quiet today,” you murmured as you turned on your heels, hearing the whirlwind of a boy coming your way. He nearly tumbled—so close to crashing at your feet but fortunately caught himself before he could hit the ground. He stood up straight, dusting his clothes with a breathy laugh before yelping out a pained, “Ow!”

“What happened?” You ask as you reach out to cup his face, checking his head and skin for any injuries.

The male chuckled with a closed eyed smile, “I got hit by a rock!” His voice echoed within the city, making you slightly cringe when your ears ached. He was quick to go off on a tangent, babbling about some nonsense that made you even more confused than before.

“Bennett,” you call out to grasp his attention. The moment he turned your way, you slapped a hand over his mouth with an amused smile. “I know you’re excited and want to talk, but we should move away from the Knights of Favonius headquarters before Captain Kaeya kills us.”

He kissed your palm gently, eliciting a ticklish sensation in your hand that made you pull away. Before you could do anything about his sneaky kisses, he grabbed your hand and began dragging you away, talking about some adventure team he was putting together.

# CHONGYUN

where: your shoulders!

why: he likes the smoothness of your shoulder when he lays down behind you and can rest easily without being judged.

The bedroom door creaked open to reveal the blue haired male who stood in the doorway with a pensive look on his face. Upon seeing you lying in your shared bed, he exhaled deeply and you could practically see relief wash over is features. “[y/n],” he breathed out as he shuffled into the room, scurrying over the bed to climb onto the silk sheets and lay himself in the spot behind you.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his chest as gently as possible. As hesitant as he was, he was way too tired to be reluctant about holding you even thought you clearly felt the same need for touch as him. “’m so tired.”

After a long day of training, he was exhausted and was in desperate need of your touch in order to replenish the energy he had depleted earlier that day. It was only much better now that you were both living together and were able to cuddle as much as needed after work.

“Welcome home, my love.”

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, doing his absolute best to push away the strong emotions that burned inside of his heart. He refused to flare-up in front of you ever again, but with you unknowingly doing things to stir him up, he was always struggling to keep calm.

Peppering kisses along your shoulders, you felt a shiver run down your spine at the cold sensation of his lips on your skin. It was a blissful feeling, warming up your heart with love despite how cold his body truly was. Too beautiful.

# RAZOR

where: your eyelids!

why: this one may sound weird but he just gets curious when he keeps watch and tends to do it without a thought.

Razor stood tall at the peak of the mountain that you both temporarily resided on. His chin was held high, chest puffed out with a sense of responsibility flowing through his veins at the thought of watching over you while you slept to keep you out of harms way. It wasn’t necessarily a demanding duty but for you, it meant a thousand times more than it usually would have.

The boy approached your sleeping body. You were rested on the ground under his jacket that barely shielded you from the cold weather tonight presented to you both. He gently tugged his jacket further up your body, covering your arm that had been slightly exposed.

You were cute like this, sleeping so peacefully with so much trust in the guy who could barely communicate yet you loved him so much. It was amazing.

Subconsciously, he bent down and placed a chaste kiss on your eyelid. You stirred in your sleep, forcing him to jolt away in surprise before settling when you murmured something sleepily, smiled and then relaxed. Your behavior was new to him and yet, it brought so many different feelings into his heart. Unknowing to you, he smiled genuinely and patted your head gently.

“You rest. I keep watch.”

# XIAO

where: your forehead!

why: he just thinks it is less embarrassing than trying to kiss you on the lips openly + less chances of him getting denied the kiss.

His expression was rather dark as you stood in front of one another. It looked like he was thinking deeply about something but you brushed it off, assuming it was just his way of sulking since you two were about to split for the night.

“I packed you some Almond Tofu, so you can eat some on your way back. I also got you a jacket to wear since it might be a little cold in the evening. I know you don’t sleep and stuff, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Your rambling about his well-being wasn’t new to him, which is why he didn’t interrupt you. He watched with the same dark expression that seemed scary but if you looked closely, you would see just how soft those eyes had become after spending so much time with a “mere human” like you.

Grasping you by the back of you head, he pulled you forward and leaned in briskly, kissing your forehead softly before pulling away and turning around. You barely had a second to recover as he adjusted his mask on his face and disappeared from your sight, muttering nothing but a simple, “be careful.”

You smiled at the tingling sensation on you skin, knowing he had only escaped to avoid feeling any type of emotion after kissing you so brazenly. As mean as Xiao seemed, he really was a simpleton with you.

# XINGQIU

where: the back of your hand!

why: do i have to explain?

“Xingqiu, where are we going?” You asked with a tired smile on your lips as you allowed yourself to be dragged along this upward slope with no set destination in mind. The boy simply laughed, pulling you faster until you were nearly tripping over your own feet. By the time you had planned to complain once more, he came to an abrupt stop and you almost bumped into his body if it wasn’t for your quick senses. “Where are we?”

“Take a look, my liege. Quite fascinating, is it not?” He said as he took a seat on the branch perched on the top of the hill, big enough for the two of them to sit on. You plopped beside him, admiring the sun that was beginning to set while Xingqiu opened a book to the page he had left off on.

“My life seems fulfilled when I am sat here with a book in my hands and you by my side. Don’t you agree?” HIs words were sincere, surprisingly void of that mischievous tone he usually had these days.

“I’m not particularly fond of books like you, but I am extremely fond of you. So, yes, I do agree.” You said with a cheesy smile, leaning in his direction. The boy abruptly stood up, and you rose an eyebrow in confusion.

Bending his body slightly, he held out his hand to you until you placed yours on top of his. Once you did so, he pressed his lips to the back of your hand and flashed you an easy smile. “With this, I owe my life to you, my liege. A vow much greater than marriage.”

# ZHONGLI

where: your lips!

why: I legit couldn’t think of a non-lips spot so i gave up. mans just likes the way your lips taste like his favorite wine. two good things.

He admired his cup with bright eyes, absolute taken with the way it tasted on his tongue and hadn’t changed in all these years. It was a beautiful emotion that was a mixture of happiness and nostalgia, plus a bit of romance considering he was here with the one he loved.

“What do you think?” Zhongli asked, eyes full of curiosity as he turned in your direction. You hadn’t said anything all night and he assumed you weren’t enjoying the wine he had presented to you so happily.

On contrary, it was way too good to be wasted, so you chose to drink it slowly in order to savor the beautiful taste that somehow reminded you of Zhongli himself. Maybe it was because he talked about this wine too much.

“It tastes good,” you murmur, leaning into his side to gain a bit of warmth from the male who shared the emotion, leaning into your touch.

You glanced up at him, smiling softly when you already saw his eyes on you. “Stop staring so impolitely. Where are your manners?” You asked jokingly, giggling softly when Zhongli looked down and chuckled.

Leaning in, he cupped your cheek and smashed your lips together. He could taste the Osmanthus wine on you and it nearly made him melt into the kiss that he had long suppressed.

When he pulled away, a small smile settled into his lips, satisfaction in his eyes. “Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember.”

a/n: finally, I finished it. im going to bed now uhhdhfjf (idk if i’ll ever do other characters but we’ll see)

#bennett x reader #chongyun x reader #razor x reader #xiao x reader #xinqiu x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact x reader #xingqiu #genshin impact #bennett #genshin #razor #xiao #genshin fluff #chongyun #zhongli

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hitnran · 3 years

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STRESSED (gender neutral! reader)

what they do when you’re stressed

includes: izana, kakucho, ran, rindou, shion, mucho, sanzu, hanma

note: i miss tenjiku

— IZANA KUROKAWA

If you’re stressed out and want Izana to help you out, or at least notice that you’re feeling off, it’s going to be a little bit difficult.

You’d either have to be so on edge where you either blow up or give him the silent treatment where you just want to be alone. In that case, Izana would be very confused. He’d question why you’re acting so weird towards him, not even picking up the possibility that something was bothering you.

He’ll most likely leave you alone for a bit to cool off or until you become yourself again. If he were still curious as to what was up with your attitude earlier, he’d bring it up.

“Why were you ignoring me earlier?” Izana questioned. There was no build up to the question nor hesitation behind asking - he was charismatic enough to be the leader of a gang after all.

You felt a little bad. It was nothing he knew about, yet you took your stress out on him without telling him what was going on. You went on, answering his question, and telling him how stressed out you’ve been lately.

“Well, tell me next time,” Izana sighed, shaking his head. He really wish you would’ve let him know what was going on earlier. He thought so much time was wasted of you ignoring him when it could’ve been so much easier if you had just told him you were stressed.

“Hey,” Izana called out to you.

You turn your head in his direction and a hand was placed against your cheek. Izana doesn’t often show his affection, but when he does, he does it in the most intimate moments to let you know how much he loves you.

He peppers your lips with kisses, pulling you into his chest and softening his voice, “Don’t stress over it so much; you’re just wasting your time.”

— KAKUCHO HITTO

If you’re stressed, Kakucho’s going to immediately know. It’s apart of his character to pick up on the behaviors of those who he is nearby. If you’re feeling off, he’s going to try his best to help you through it.

Kakucho would firstly make sure you’re comfortable. He’d lay you down, make sure you’ve eaten first, and massage your muscles of any tension. He’d then slowly ease into asking you if anything had happened.

You tell him how stressed you’ve been with things occurring in your life whether it be major or minor or both. He listens into every word, nodding and speaking here and there to show that he is attentive. When you’re done with your venting, Kakucho would surprisingly give you good advice to help you through it.

If it’s a situation that he can’t completely speak on or help you with, he still wants you to know that he is there for you. There’s no reason for him to apologize, but he does it anyway because he feels such empathy for you and doesn’t want his lover to be so upset.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, love,” He’ll say, his eyes evidently filled with worry.

Kakucho would pull you in closer, rubbing your back and asking you if there was anything else he could give you.

“Just hold me,” You murmured into his arms.

“I planned to do that all along,” His soft chuckle was already enough to boost your mood.

— RAN HAITANI

It is quite easy for Ran to tell when you are stressed as well. It may be an older sibling instinct, but he picks up on small things especially behavioral.

Just in case it might just be him being paranoid though, he’ll also ease into it. Maybe he’ll joke around and tease you a little bit before confirming that something was up.

“Babe,” He calls out to you.

You silently hum as a response, not giving him the proper attention he wanted. In that case, Ran will just throw himself onto you, locking you in his arms until you tell him what’s wrong. Sometimes it gives you a headache, especially if you just wanna be alone. Usually Ran would give you space if you wanted it, but only if you tell him first.

“What’s wrong?” Ran asks you, running a hand down your back to soothe you.

You tell him how you have been stressed and he takes in all the information. In the end, he knows there isn’t much he can do about it himself, so the best thing Ran will do is just get your mind off of it.

He’ll ask if you want to go outside, maybe just for a ride on his bike or to be treated with your favorite dessert. If staying in is something you’d prefer, he’d run you a bath and pamper you, clearing his entire day just to spend with you.

— RINDOU HAITANI

A lot like Izana, Rindou’s not going to pick up that easy on you being stressed. He just takes it as you being slightly annoyed by inconveniences in your life; which for him, happens a lot, but you aren’t him.

He’ll only pick up on it if you obviously show that you’re stressed whether it be raising your voice, crying, or wanting to be alone. But prior to it, he won’t really approach the situation very well.

“What is up with you?” Rindou raised an eyebrow, wondering why you were acting so off. “You’re being so bothersome right now.”

Rindou is very blunt, and sometimes, he doesn’t think about what he says before saying it. You know this, but with your emotions all over the place, you couldn’t help but cry in front of him.

His knees will lock up in place and he’ll start sweating. It’s not often you cry, so when you do, he genuinely doesn’t know what to do. Rindou just panics and he drops his ‘cool act,’ putting his hands all over you and sitting you down to calm you down.

“Shit,” Rindou panics. He pulls you in for a hug, chanting words of how he’s sorry. “I’m sorry, baby. Did something happen? Did I make it worse?”

You calm yourself down, catching your breath before speaking. When he hears how you’ve been feeling lately, he feels so guilty for not picking up on it earlier.

He’ll lay you down, softening his touch and his voice, and just allow you to talk it out until the conversation heads into another direction and you two are either talking about some silly topic or have fallen asleep.

— SHION MADARAME

Shion is exactly the kind of guy who is ‘asshole to the world but not to his S/O.’ He switches up and makes a complete 180 around you.

He truly cannot believe that he has someone like you in his life and the last thing he wants to do is make a mistake. Sometimes, Shion is a little too on edge and cautious. Even if nothing is wrong, he’ll still ask things like ‘am I doing okay?’ or ‘how are you feeling?’ He just wants you happy.

But when you’re irritated about whatever it is going on in your life, Shion starts panicking on how to approach the situation. He’ll start losing it even more if you begin to cry.

“Ah?” Shion’s eyes widen and his mouth gapes, seeing you have a breakdown. He gulps hard, immediately pulling you into a hug. “D-Don’t cry? Ah, fuck.”

The best way for him to deal with you is to just make you laugh. Shion is a very funny guy, even when he doesn’t intend to be funny. Just seeing him panic so much is already making you laugh with how he’s running around.

He calms down a bit when you emit a small laughter, eyes still puffy and red. Shion will loosen his shoulders, wiping your tears off with his thumb and asking what happened and if there’s anything he can do.

— YASUHIRO MUTO (mucho)

Mucho is a quiet guy. He only speaks when he feels like it’s necessary and isn’t afraid to put in his opinion. With you, it’s the same but he’s a little bit more cautious with what he says.

Instead, he’ll silently observe you. As someone who dealt with getting rid of rats within Toman, he’s very keen on behavior that is different from the norm. He noticed your sentences cut short and your breath becoming more prolonged and exaggerated.

“Something happen?” He’ll finally give in, pulling you down into his lap and massaging your shoulders. “You look stressed.”

Although he doesn’t speak much, the words he says in reply to you venting to him is rather good advice. Even if it were just a couple of words, you know that he means every bit of it.

“You’ll get through it, I know it,” Mucho says, placing a kiss on your neck. “And if not, that’s okay too. We aren’t made to succeed in everything.”

— HARUCHIYO SANZU

Sanzu’s way of dealing with his own stress is to isolate himself until he feels like the situation as passed to where he can finally go back to acting ‘normal’ again.

Sanzu is also very observant, so if he sees that you’re stressed out, he’ll also probably leave you alone for a bit unless you tell him or give signs that you want him.

He’s not going to ask you what’s wrong until later on - if it were important, he’d want you to just tell him upfront. But if you didn’t tell him, then he just assumes that it’s an issue that will pass.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He’ll still put in the effort in small ways like still making sure you’ve eaten, making sure that your space is clean, etc.

He’ll be patiently waiting for you to ease down. When Sanzu sees you finally showing yourself to him, he spreads out his legs a bit to signal to you that he’s free to talk to.

You place yourself in his lap and he cradles you. He’ll stare at you, waiting for you to say something before he can engage. If it’s someone who bothered you, Sanzu might consider ways to deal with them in private (but you always tell him that it’s not that serious). Otherwise, he’ll just listen and want to get your mind off of it.

— SHUJI HANMA

Hanma spends a lot of time with you throughout the day. He doesn’t see anything wrong with just wanting to use all of that time on someone he loves. If he’s bored, he’ll go over your place.

When he enters your place, he knew something was off. You didn’t even greet him at the door and that just won’t do.

Hanma will scoop you up, your face close to his, “Now what’s goin’ on, doll? Someone piss you off today?”

Hanma is surprisingly really easy to talk to. He nods in between your sentences, showing that he’s paying attention. Sometimes, he’ll plug in jokes here and there to hopefully get a laugh out of you.

“You’re stressed? Then stop being stressed,” Hanma teases, squishing the sides of your face before kissing you. He’ll latch himself into you, “Just give me that attention instead.”

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #ran haitani #rindou haitani #hanma #sanzu #mucho #shion madarame #izana #kakucho hitto

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tteokggukk · 3 years

Text

summer heat → jjk

–pairing: twin!jungkook x reader

–genre: fluff, mature (? but no smut), drabble, a minor attempt at humor, best friend’s twin brother type of thing

–words: 2.9k

–warnings: explicit language, sexual tension, tiny bit of humiliation, a hint of jungkook and reader having some sort of “history” if u squint hard enough

–summary: in an attempt to calm you down and prevent your mood from swinging due to the blazing heat, your best friend decides to go out and buy you some ice cream. you’re shocked, however, when he quickly returns and looks different, making you see him in an entirely new light and leaving you trying to resist the urge to give in to your raging hormones and just jump on him.

–a/n: i was thinking of this scenario in the shower but didn’t have the brain power to turn it into a full length story so i might just add this to a pile of drabbles that i may or may not develop heh + ive been in my jungkook feels too lately sigh + also this is unedited

permanent taglist: @100percent-dum-dum @mochisjoon @boraength @rageyoudamnednerd

It was a scorching hot summer’s day. Sweat was beginning to trickle down your temples and your shirt was getting stuck to your skin, causing an irking feeling of discomfort. Looking around, you quickly grabbed an empty long folder from your best friend’s messy desk and began fanning yourself to cool down. The two of you were just there, sitting in his room in a not-so-comfortable silence.

You were currently plopped down onto a chair with your legs resting on the desk in front of you, too lazy to come up with ideas to kill your boredom.

It was a tradition for your family to travel every summer and visit a new country you hadn’t been to, but this year you had to pass the plane tickets and sight-seeing due to your best friend, Junghan, asking begging you to help him out with a month-long film project. You didn’t have the heart to decline, so you told your parents you’d stay behind and help him out which resulted in you having to stay over at Junghan’s place for the rest of the summer.

You had to admit though, a small part of you felt disinclined to stay because the project sounded like it would’ve been a tedious workload, but working with your best friend was so much more fun than you’d imagined and even the project itself turned out to be enjoyable. So far, your summer break has been spent filming and hanging out with Junghan—though hanging out usually meant staying in his room and watching romcoms all day while crying over fictional characters, ranting about how you two would never meet such perfect men in real life. It was great.

Until the air conditioner broke down.

You glanced over at Junghan, who seemed to be just as spiritless as you were while he sat in front of a fan, eyes looking empty and distant.

“I told you the air conditioner needed to be fixed,” You sighed and looked up at the ceiling, completely missing the harsh glare he sent you.

“I said I was gonna get it fixed,” He replies and turns back to the fan, his voice quieting down a little, “But the number for repair wouldn’t answer.”

“Right,” You muttered absent-mindedly, eyes staring at the ceiling while your mind was too busy trying to come up with suggestions to beat the heat, “We could go to the pool?”

“Closed,” Junghan grunts, “The mall?”

“As if we’d both drive in this state,” You rolled your eyes as you tried to get your shirt to stop sticking to your skin. Junghan glances over at you when he hears you grumbling, one of the many cues that you were beginning to feel peevish. Deciding that it was pointless to keep tugging on your shirt, you opt to take it off instead.

“You don’t mind do you?” You asked before completely removing your shirt, only leaving you in your bralette. Though you knew he never did because of the countless times he’s helped you change and pick out different outfits, you always asked out of politeness. Additionally, his zero interest in women made you feel much safer and comfortable enough to undress around him.

“I really don’t care,” He says and stands up. You hear him rumbling for a moment while you were neatly folding your shirt, and seconds later you recognize the jingling sound of keys.

“Where are you going?” You asked.

“The nearby grocery. You’re about to get grumpy and I am not going to listen to a rambling bitch for the rest of the day,” He says, rubbing his temples as he makes his way to the door.

“So you’re just gonna leave me here?” You asked, too exhausted to even glance at him. He probably wasn’t, you only asked for the dramatic effect.

“No, dumbass. I’m just gonna go and buy ice cream. See you in a bit.”

And with that Junghan leaves and closes the door shut. Only a few minutes later after the sound of the engine had gone did you decide to exert a little effort and move over to his previous spot to sit in front of the fan, the air immediately cooling your skin. You sighed in relief and grabbed a few tissues to wipe your temples dry before grabbing your phone and texting Junghan to buy some lemonade, followed by a second text telling him you’d pay him back once he returned.

You were surprised to hear, not even ten minutes later, that the car was already back and pulling up in the driveway. It couldn’t have been Junghan’s parents as they were out working, and it was only you and Junghan around—not like you two had many friends who would come and visit. Instead of rationalizing with yourself on how Junghan came back home in supersonic speed, you decide to drop it and wait for him to come up back to his room.

Someone knocks on the door, causing your brows to furrow in confusion. Since when did Junghan knock?

“Come... in?” You answer, though it came out more as a question. Your head turns at the sound of the door opening, and your eyes widen at seeing Junghan standing by the doorframe.

Looking oddly different.

“Dude,” You stood up from your place and stared him up and down, “Is that what you were really wearing when you went out?”

His eyebrows raise in shock and you catch his eyes taking a quick glimpse from your chest before quickly looking back at the perplexed look on your face, a small smirk forming on lips. You decide to ignore it.

“What a warm ‘welcome home’,” he chuckles.

“You didn’t answer me,” you replied, still oblivious to the difference in his tone.

He was wearing an all-black ensemble—a black cap, a black leather jacket, black pants that outlined his toned thighs (how have you never noticed?), and some chunky black boots—a huge contrast to his normally colorful and baggy clothing. You were genuinely curious because you hadn’t noticed what he looked like before he left the house as you were too tired and lazy to even look up and say goodbye.

“Uh, yeah. This is what I was wearing?” He narrows one of his eyes, looking confused, “Why?”

“I don’t know… since when did you wear all black?”

“Since way back then? I don’t know,” He replies, and you now noticed how his voice was unusually low. Junghan steps inside and averts his eyes from you, looking around in his room before scrimmaging through drawers as if in search for something.

“What are you looking for?” You asked, folding your arms and following him around.

“A charger,” He replies, and a chill runs down your spine at the sound of his voice. You thought maybe you’d detect how he was just trying to change his manner of speaking, but it was effortlessly low; like he wasn’t faking it or anything. It was weird because Junghan normally sounded a little more high pitched.

“What charger?”

“A laptop charger, mine broke,” He continues searching and not once does he meet your eyes.

“Oh okay, let me help you then,” You begin to look around and help him search, “Though I don’t know what it looks like, I’ll let you know if I see a charger.”

He looks up at you and smiles, but you don’t catch him watching you as you were already busy searching, “Thanks.”

The two of you continue searching in silence, though occasionally you’d look up and glance at Junghan. What exactly was he doing? Was this for his film? Is he supposed to be in character? This new look and manner of talking that he somehow adopted after a quick trip to the grocery store did things to you. Every time he grunted in annoyance after a failed search, something in your stomach would twist and you found yourself suddenly feeling drawn, or maybe even more than drawn, to your best friend. Your gay best friend.

You shook your head to get rid of those thoughts.

Only a few minutes later did you find something that looked like a charger hiding underneath a pile of unfolded clothes before presenting it to Junghan, “Is it this?”

“Yes! Exactly that,” He jumps up from crouching over one of the drawers at the bedside and walks over to you, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure. I don’t know why you took such a long time searching for something in your room, though,” You rolled your eyes.

“My room?” He smiles, voice a little deeper but with a hint of amusement.

God, you could just jump on him right now.

“Yeah?” You knit your brows, “And stop doing that!”

“Stop doing what?” He asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed so he was looking up at you. He leans back a bit a folds his arms, a smile still tugging on the corner of his mouth.

Maybe it was the summer heat doing things to your head and making you think about all these things that you never thought you’d ever want to do with your gay best friend, but he seemed so in character it was actually beginning to bother you. What store did he go to exactly? And where the hell is the ice cream?

“That! What’s up with your voice? And your outfit? You look so different, it’s weird,” You folded your arms as if to mirror him.

“Weird, huh?” He asks and looks at his clothing before looking back at you.

“Not in a bad way. It looks good, it’s just not you,” You squirmed slightly before shaking your head to snap out of it, “I don’t know what store you went to that made you look like this—and congrats I guess, if you’re trying to switch up your fashion, but you completely missed the ice cream, so good luck trying to handle this rambling bitch.”

He laughs at the words “rambling bitch” and oh god that is not what his laughter sounded like before. When did the sound of his laugh sound so deep and sultry? You subconsciously sucked on and bit your lip at the sound of his laughter, trying your best not to visibly drool in front of him. He catches your subtle action and his brow raises at the sight.

“Despite all the things you said, you think this looks good?” A playful smile rests on his face and your heart beats erratically at his expression.

“Y-yeah, I don’t know,” You mumbled. He shifts on the edge of the bed to move closer to you.

“And because there’s no ice cream, you’re going to turn into some rambling…” He reaches his hand out, the back of his fingers feeling the skin on your exposed waist before resting his hand on your back to pull you in closer.

“…person?” he continues, brows raised and eyes staring intently at yours, not using the vulgar word you had just used to describe yourself (or the word he had just called you before he left to go to the store).

“I...um, we’ll see,” you replied, and he only chuckles deeply. Your voice had transformed into a murmuring mess and it annoyed you, but you couldn’t really do anything about it, right now he reminded you so much of—

“I think you look good too, you know. Maybe I did miss you a lot more than I thought I did,” he whispers, pulling you in even more so you were now standing between his thighs.

Missed you? After an eight minute trip to the grocery store?

You didn’t question it. Your mind was blanking out, malfunctioning, even. Here was your best friend, your gay best friend (as you had to keep reminding yourself), placing his hands on your bare skin in a way that you knew wasn’t going to turn out to be so innocent. Right now you were extremely attracted and possibly even turned on by whatever the fuck he was doing, all you could do to save yourself was blame it on the heat. Was this absolutely weird? Hell yes. Did you want to stop him? Fuck no.

Were you now completely devoid of all reason and logic?

Definitely.

Softly, he tugs on your arm and pulls you into him so you were now sitting on his lap with your hand resting on his chest. One of his hands was still attached to your waist, the other was resting itself on the bed, gripping on a blanket.

Chills run down your spine for the second time now as his mouth moves closer to your ear, “Lucky for you I know the perfect way to handle rambling bitches.”

Your breath hitches for a moment and Junghan moves back to face you, his lips grazing your cheeks a little before you meet each other’s gaze. The summer heat was definitely nothing compared to this, but you didn’t mind. Your faces were only mere centimeters apart now and you could’ve sworn he was beginning to lean in by the look in his eyes, which were now fixated on your lips.

Seriously, you could just grab him by the collar right now and speed things up. He’s the one who pulled you in first, anyway, you just wanted to get things going. Though you haven’t exactly a clue as to where this would end, you wished he would hurry up a little to find out.

But for some strange reason, your senses were enveloped with the distinct smell of a signature fragrance that you knew did not belong to Junghan and it snapped you out of your thoughts. The scent was strong enough to flash some memories back in your mind, making you frown. Did he use this perfume on purpose? Or was your mind just playing tricks on you? In a flash, you could suddenly think straight and you couldn’t help it, the moral side of your brain had turned far stronger than your currently raging hormones (thank goodness). Something was definitely off.

“But, Junghan… aren’t you… gay?” You asked, your voice trailing off a little.

His eyes widen and he pulls back from you. He stares at you for a few seconds before it hits him, and he starts erupting in laughter. You narrowed your eyes at him and got off his lap, moving over to the side and sitting beside him instead.

“Junghan?” He stresses on the name. You’re staring at him blankly now, like you knew he was just messing with you. His laughter eventually dies down and he places a hand on your thigh, though it seemed much more innocent now, “I’m so sorry, ____, you’ve got the wrong person.”

With one hand, he quickly grabs the blanket off the bed. The back of his other free hand endearingly caresses your jaw, and you notice how he lingers for a while as he moves a bit lower down to your neck—before wrapping the fabric around you and covering your whole torso with it. Your face immediately turns pink as you clutched onto the blanket to further cover yourself, feeling slightly humiliated, though you were still confused.

“Wrong person? What do you mean?”

“I was wondering why you had no shirt on, I thought that was just a regular thing for you now. But it’s probably cause you’re more comfortable around my brother, huh?”

“Your brother…?”

“Has it really been that long?” He chuckles, and instantly your mind began connecting the pieces together. Could it actually be him? You haven’t seen him in years, and no one even bothered telling you he was coming back today. No way, surely this was Junghan playing a joke on you.

“I’m not Junghan. I’m his twin brother, Jungkook. Remember?”

You hastily stood up in defense, still clutching the blanket close to your chest, “Shut the fuck up, Junghan. No one said anything about Jungkook coming back today!”

Junghan Jungkook only laughs and stands up, the melodious sound filling the room, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching the wide open bedroom door.

“What a shame, but it was a surprise. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming home today,” He folds his arms, “And if I am Junghan, then who is that?” He points at the doorframe and true enough, Junghan was standing there holding grocery bags in his arms wearing his usual oversized colorful jacket and khaki colored pants.

You and Junghan both looked at each other with mouths dropped down to the floor before you looked back at Jungkook, who had the same smirk tugged on his lips, clearly amused at the whole situation.

Jungkook bends forward and leans in to your face, his voice in a lower tone but still audible enough for his brother to hear, “Probably shouldn’t take your top off so leisurely around the house anymore, huh?” He grins and winks at you, causing you wince and force an awkward smile, internally cursing yourself at everything that just happened.

“Anyways, I should probably rest up in my room. See you around,” Jungkook flashes you a smile before placing a chaste kiss on your (now dry, because your body had frozen up) forehead before walking away from you, taking the charger and dangling it in his other hand. He taps his confused looking brother on the shoulder before turning his head back to take one last look at you before walking out, leaving you and Junghan staring at each other in shock.

Junghan walks in slowly and sets the bags of grocery on the floor, shutting the door behind him.

“What the fuck just happened?” He asks you, eyes wide in anticipation.

Your mind replays everything that had happened between you two. Was Jungkook really just about to kiss you minutes before? Heart racing, you clutch on your chest from underneath the blanket he had covered you with. No way was Jungkook back. No way is he back and looking even more attractive than he did the last time you saw him. Not when you had just gotten over your small crush on him a couple of years ago.

The heat returns to your body, but it mainly pools on your cheeks. You look back at your best friend, but no words of explanation come up.

“Believe me, I’m asking myself the same thing.”

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