#because i always get anxious when im in new spaces that someone is gonna break in and id be the first victim | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katyasrussianaccent · 3 years

Text

you’re so golden (corpse x reader)

Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?

Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!

You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.

Call you in 15.

You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.

Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.

“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.

The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.

The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.

Incoming Facetime Audio

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.

You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker.

“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.

“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.

There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.

You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single.

“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.

You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”

He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.”

You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”

He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do.

“People on the internet say a lot of things.”

“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.

“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”

He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.

“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.

“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.

“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”.

“And what would you cook for me?” he asks.

You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”

He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”

You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.

“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.

He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”

“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

“You could always sing some for me,” he offers.

You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”

“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.

“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.

“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.

You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.

“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.”

You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.

It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in.

“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.

You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it.

“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”

“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time.

“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”

“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.

“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts.

“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.

“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.

The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar.

The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.

“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for.

“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.

“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”

“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.

“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.

“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else.

“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.

“We can switch,” he replies.

“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.

“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.

You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.

“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.

“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”

“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.

“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.

“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.

You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.”

Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen; Felix has been killed.

“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.

“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”

“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.

“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.

“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.

“Oh. I was in um o2?”

“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.

“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.

“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.

“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that.

“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you.

“Hey,” you greet her.

“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body. You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.

“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?”

“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.

“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.

“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.

“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”

“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.

“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.

“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.

You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.

You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement.

IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you.

“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.

“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task.

“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were.

“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.

You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”

“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.

You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.

“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.

“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.

“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.

“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list.

Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.

You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.

“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.

“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.

You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”

“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.

“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.

“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?”

Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.

“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.

“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.

“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.

“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.

“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.

“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.

“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.

“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.

You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.

“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit.

“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!”

You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands.

“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.

TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior @cherry-piee @mirahg @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02

#my fic #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband/reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband x yn #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #corpse x fem reader #corpse x reader #corpse fic #corpse smau #corpse imagine

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jiminrings · 3 years

Note

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

#drabble week #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook headcanons #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook oneshots

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words-for-holland · 4 years

Text

Quarantine Series: The Birthday Week

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: It’s Tom’s Birthday Week! So much planning, food, and surprises....and a special promise from our favorite Q.S. Couple.

A/N: It’s been long overdue...Is it too late to say Happy Belated Tom?! 🥺

A/N: Happier Part 3 comes out this weekend!!

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships

May 25, 2020 (T-Minus 7 Days)

An almost average Monday. Its the start of Tom’s Birthday Week and Y/N is trying her best to get ahead of the game and prep up for an over-the-top birthday party for her boyfriend. Well as over-the-top as it can get when you’re stuck in Quarantine because...well...Covid.

The only problem, she didnt know where to start. What party to throw, games to play, food to make, playlist to create, and above all the gift. This year Y/N wanted to give Tom something that held a lot of sentimental value to represent all the love she had for him. While Y/N was lucky enough to have someone like Tom to spoil her and show her just how much she meant to him, she wanted to do the same for Tom. So, she went to the spare room, which had now become her new work space and started googling away.

May 26, 2020 (T-Minus 6 Days)

The next day, Tom and the boys went out for their daily Golf match, while Y/N stayed behind to continue party planning. She made sure to be discreet about it and pretended that she had to take care of a few things for work. In reality, Y/N facetimed her best friend, on advice of what to get Tom for his 24th.

“C’mon Im serious Nico. I want to give him something special this year.” Y/N groaned when she knew her best friend wasn’t giving her the answers she wanted.

“Im sorry, Y/N. I dont know what you could give him. You’ve know him better than anyone else.” Nico reasoned, as Y/N continued her helpless groans, banging her head on the table. “Look Im sure what ever you come up with, Tom is going to love it no matter what.”

“But that’s the problem I don’t know what I can come up with. Our first year together I got him clothes, last year it was golfing gear, I don’t know how I can top that.” Y/N continued to stare at the desk picking up and dropping her pencil repeatedly. “I just know that I want it to be something he can always look back at and know that I’ll always be there for him.”

“Wow. You really like this kid don’t ya?” Nico questioned, but of course she knew the answer to that...anyone did.

“Yeah...more than anything.” Y/N smiles back as she thinks about Tom.

“Well what about a promise ring?” Y/N’s ears perk up at the suggestion.

“Like uhhh a men’s promise ring? Do they even make promise rings for men?” She questions, though isn’t opposed to the idea.

“No, Im talking about a donkey’s promise ring.” Nico rolls her eyes. “It’d be cute and not to mention empowering because you’d be making the first move. Empowering women is super attractive.”

Y/N stops to give it some thought. It would be cute to have a ring for him and see him wear it everywhere knowing he would carry a symbol of her love. Of course it’s nothing like the real thing when couples get married and all, but it’s a step toward that direction. “Ill think about it.” She says.

May 27, 2020 (T-Minus 5 Days)

Y/N had finally given the idea a good 8 hours when she decided to find the ring. She scrolled through pages and pages to find the ring but none of them spoke to her or looked like it was meant for Tom. The more she scrolled the more anxious she got, slowly biting ther thumb nail as she continued.

“You know if you’re gonna do birthday shopping for someone in the house, the kitchen might not be the best place to do it.” A deep british voice popped up from behind.

Y/N shrieked and jumped, quickly closing her laptop, afraid she had already ruined the surprise. Until she turned around and saw it was just Harrison. “Ugh, was it reallg necessary to do that?” She whined. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Of course wheres the fun in simply asking what you’re doing.” He laughed, pulling a chair next to Y/N as he watched her scroll through pages or rings. His smile growing ever so slightly. Y/N looked at him with suspicion.

“Okay I know that smile...clearly you know something I don’t.” She states. “Is this a bad idea?”

Harrisons smile dropped quickly as he profusely shook his head. “What? What? No...I just uhh — actually yeah the rings are not a good idea.” He blabbers. Y/N looks at him, waiting for Harrison to continue. “I mean think about it. If you buy a ring for Tom and he starts wearing it everywhere. People are gonna suspect that he’s getting married or worse find out about your relationship. I don’t know if you wanna risk that.”

Harrison was lucky to be a gifted actor as he improv-ed his answers on the spot in hopes that Y/N did not find him to be too suspicious. If she called his bluff and found out, Tom would make sure Harrison would never see the light of day. “You should go for this necklace. I think it suits him and has a touch of your style.” Harrison points out to a necklace he truthfully thought she should get him. With that, he quickly left Y/N to be on her own in gift shopping.

May 28, 2020 (T-Minus 4 Days)

Y/N’s planning was 70% in the clear. The necklace was ordered, Sam was helping out in planning the food, Harrison and Tuwaine were arranging the golf diversion plan, and Harry was keeping Tom busy making sure he wasnt suspecting anything. Although that didn’t stop Tom from bothering his girlfriend a couple of hours of the day. How could he not, the boy missed his girl.

“Y/N..” Tom cooed as he wrapped his hands around her, kissing a small part of her shoulder. “Can you take a break from whatever arts and crafts thing you got going on and cuddle with me?” He continued as he placed another kiss.

“Babe, I’d love to more than anything but I wanna finish this up so I can at least accomplish one thing during Quarantine.” She explains.

“You accomplish a lot of things darling, and you can accomplish another if you just come and cuddle with your needy boyfriend, who happens to be turning 24....in 4 days.” He hinted, places kisses by ear.

“Oh and I suppose that gives you special treatment?” Y/N challenges, letting out giggles as Tom continued to kiss where she was ticklish the most.

“I would hope so. Now, what do you say?” He smiles at her, placing the small strand of black hair behind her ear.

“Okay you win.” She whispers.

May 29, 2020 (T-Minus 3 Days)

Tom and Harry were busy hosting the Pub Quiz, while Y/N and Harrison took the time to create the decorations for Tom’s party. The theme... Spiderman, but what else was new. Harrison drew up webs and spiders on the deflated red and blue ballooms, stashing them in a paper bag to be inflated the day of. Y/N started on the birthday pub quiz answer sheets, customizing them to have that personal touch of Tom. Everything was going smoothly until, she needed more glue.

“Crap, Im gonna check the closet. I think we have a few spare sticks of hot glue.” Y/N stated, as she got up.

Harrison eyes started to display signs of panic as he quickly got up and raced her to it, guarding the closet door. “Uh...there’s no more. I already checked.” He squeaked.

Y/N raised her one eyebrow in suspicion. “I’m pretty sure there’s a couple.” She fired back, trying to pry Harrison off the closet. “C’mon Harrison. This isn’t funny.”

“I think it is.” Harrison continued to stall. Y/N rolled her eyes, coming closer to him, wiggling her fingers. She tickled his sides, knowing it was his weak spot. His grip started to loosen as he let out fits of giggles. Y/N took the opportunity to quickly open the closet, and grab her glue sticks. She looked around to find if anything was suspicious or worth hiding, but there was nothing.

“You know...you’re acting really weird.” Y/N stated as she walked back to the table to continue her project. Once she was out of Harrison’s sight, he quickly texted Tom about the dilemma. Only to receive:

Time to find a new spot then.

May 30, 2020 (T-Minus 2 Days)

It was Tom & Y/N’s turn to wash the dishes after dinner. The irony both had no clue what one was planning for the other. They were always the type to be truthfully honest to each other, but a few little playful secrets couldn’t hurt. “So, is it just me or is Harrison acting really...strange?” She asked her boyfriend. Tom looked at her, pretending to not know what she was talking about.

“Umm..not sure. He seemed fine to me....Why? What’s happened?” Tom asked casually, focusing on the dishes.

“You know for someone that’s really good at acting, you’re a terrible liar.” Y/N laughed out loud, only to get splashed with water. “Touche. But seriously, he gets so nervous around me. Like someone’s out to get him if I do something he doesn’t expect. I wanted to get glue sticks yesterday in the closet and he straight up guarded the door, saying I wasn’t allowed....in out own closet?! I swear it’s like he’s hiding something in there.”

“Haz, you div.” Tom muttered under his breath.

“What was that babe?”

“Uhh nothing. I was just saying Harrison is a piece of work. Even I couldn’t tell you why he was acting like that.” He lied.

“Uh..huh.” Y/N responded, not buying anything but rather just letting it be.

Tom placed the dishes on the rack, while he came up behind his girlfriend, huggling her tightly from behind. “It’s whatever. But, lets just go back to our room, lay under the sheets, watch some Netflix....have a good time.” He smirked, kissing her temple. “And just cuddle like there’s no one watching.”

“Mmmm. Now that sounds like a plan.” She whispers pulling him to their room.

May 31, 2020 (T-Minus 1 Day)

Y/N only had 1 day left to prepare everything for Tom’s big day. She made sure to stay on top of everyone’s tasks and prepped her gifts for Tom tomorrow. Y/N was extremely proud of everything and everyone that was taking part of her little project. A rare sight anyone would ever see, but the most thing she was proud of was how secretive they were able to keep it that Tom didnt suspect a single thing.

“So, got anything planned for tomorrow?” Tom asked Y/N as she was cooking pancakes.

“Mmm I dont know. Am I supposed to have something to do tomorrow?” She teases.

“Well..” He starts as he takes the spatula out of her hands. “I hear it this div’s birthday tomorrow.” Tom grabs Y/N’s waist, picking her up and placing her on the counter. “And I hear he just wants to spend it with his girls all day long.” Y/N’s legs locked around Tom’s waist as he continues his not-so-obvious birthday wish.

“Oh there’s gonna be more than one girl at this birthday of his huh? He must be quite the player.” She smiles at him, fingers thresding through the small brown hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Well yeah because Tessa is his princess but Y/N, this really cute adorable hot girl who doesn’t think she’s hot but should really start seeing it...that HIS princess.” He explained, kissing every visible spot on her face. “It would make his 24th. Trust me.”

Y/N pretends to stall and think about his wish. He knew he was going to get Y/N and Tom time together no matter what, but where’s the fun in just expecting it. “We’ll see about that birthday boy.”

June 1, 2020 (Party Time!!)

The boys were all out celebrating Tom’s birthday at the golf course at the start of the day. Of course that wasn’t until Tom made sure to get some extra love and attention from his girlfriend first thing in the morning. Y/N quickly rushed to get the decorations in place, while Nikki, Tom’s mother helped in setting the table and getting the food ready with cleR and concise instructions from Sam to ensure they couldn’t mess it up.

“Y/N this was such a wonderful idea. I cant wait to see his face when he comes home.” She exclaims, giving Y/N the most comforting hug.

“Thank you Nikki, I just want it to be perfect for him this year. I mean we’re all in Quarantine and all of us are finally together in one place.” Y/N explains as she places the final ballons up by the doorway.

“Well of this is how you prepare for a birthday, I can’t wait to see how you prep for your wedding.” Nikki responds, only half joking.

“He hasn’t even proposed yet!” Y/N laughs, though the thought makes her stomach flutter in the best way possible. Being married to Tom was all she could ever want in life.

“Well, dont you worry. Im sure it’ll happen, that boy can’t gona second without you I’d be surprised if he doesnt....May just have to chastise him if he takes too long.”

Y/N was starting to grow a bit suspicious. This whole week alone was filled with suspicion. Harrison acting weird, Tom being extra needy and cuddly, Nikki talking about marriage. “Was Tom going to propose soon? “ she thought to herself.

Just in the nick of time, the boys had all arrived after an intense game of golf. They came in bursting in conversation about how great it was, who deserved to win, and of course how Dom was always getting beat at his own game by his sons. Of course the festivities didnt start yet, until Tom took a moment to shower and dress up. It wasnt that he needed to, but for him..it was extremely necessary for today.

Y/N went up to grab her presents for Tom in the work closet, when all of a sudden, a small box landed on her head. She looked up then down towards where the item fell, only to see a sparkling pink and clear diamon cut ring. “Oh my god” she muttered.

“Bullocks.” Tom spoke out loud wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his torso.

“I...uh..Im sorry Tom. I swear I wasn’t looking for it I was just trying to get my gift so I could give it to you. I didnt know this was your hiding spot.” She frantically explains picking up the box and giving it to him.

Tom looked a little disappointed as he stared at the ring. He had worked so hard to keep it a secret from everyone only to get it ruined on his brirthday. “No no no. It’s fine Y/N, really. I just...I was planning on giving this to you next month on your birthday.”

Y/N opens her mouth realizing how bad she messed it up. “Oh my god. Tom Im so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He laughs. “Actually kinda glad you found it. So now I can do this”. Tom gets down on one knee, his towel still wrapped around his torso. “Y/N, I have loved you more than I could ever love anyone in the past 3 years I’ve known you. I swear I could have sworn I was going to marry you the day I met you at the Marvel office with your little black Dell notebook in your hands. Your humor, your kindess, your sympathy and empathy for all living things makes me love you even more. Will you make me the happiest birthday man on earth, and marry me?” He proposes.

Y/N tears up and shakes her head vigorously. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” She cries, repearing the words as she hugs him on the floor. They lean in giving into a passionate kiss, still holding onto each other. Y/N and Tom couldn’t believe it was real. Just a couple of seconds they were boyfriend and girlfriend..now they’re engaged. “Wait. I almost forgot about your presents.” She quickly speaks out grabbing the bag.

“Darling, believe me you were my present. I am beyond satisfied right now.” He chuckles.

“I know, but I got you these too!” Y/N pushes the bag to him. Tom shakes his head as he opens it up find a silver necklace with a retangular pendant, and a major jar full of post- it notes. He observes the necklace and opens up the retangular pendant to find a picture of Y/N and him during their firsf year together. He smiled back at the memory, now seeing as to where they’ve ended uo. Stronger and better than before. Next, he opened the major jar pulling out a small card that read:

For whenever you’re down, need a laugh or missing me.

He picked up a post it note that more pictures of them during their time together with a note saying:

“Remember that you’re the reason we all smile. You are a warm loght of happiness that does not stop giving to the world.”

Tom tears up at the gift. In all his years, no one has ever given him soemthing that held so much sentimental value. “I love you so much Y/N. Thank you for this...for all of this.” He whispers, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

“Your welcome. I hope you know you mean the world to me too, and I just wanted your birthday to be perfect.”

“It already is...because I have you.” He looks back at her and smiles.

“Cmon birthday boy. Get dressed, we have a party to attend to and news to share .” Y/N laughs as she helps her boyfriend...I mean fiance up. Who said that quarantine birthdays were boring?

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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stimmypaw · 3 years

Text

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

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thirst-order-confessions-renewed · 4 years

Text

The Two Tragic Times Fae Met Kylo Ren at Disneyland

Okay so I figured I had to tell these stories here because there are a lot of people who were like “YAY I MET KYLO” and I am just...flabbergasted because I was like “am I the only person in the world actually traumatized by Kylo Ren” The answer to that seems to be ‘yes absolutely’ and I will tell you why.

So, some background about me, I never really liked character meet and greets. I’m awkward, I never know what to say ESPECIALLY to characters who can actually speak to me. I cannot converse with people in real life, why the hell could I converse with people getting paid to LARP with me. I just...cannot do it. I will not. But Goofy? Sure, I’ll give that big dorky bastard a hug.

Fast forward to the first time I met Kylo Ren. @imagines-in-a-galaxy-farfar-away was visiting me and we went to Disneyland like the DAY AFTER The Last Jedi came out. She had a Polaroid camera and she wanted me to take a picture of her and Kylo with the camera and I was like “hhhhhhhh sure”. KNOWING I was gonna be incredibly nervous. So I sucked it up and we went in there and of COURSE Kylo was a massive bully. He got in my face, stared me down, VERY invasive shit which I DONT DISAGREE WITH. I was like “yeah, you know what? Kylo IS a massive dick so I’m okay.” THAT DIDNT STOP ME FROM FREAKING OUT THOUGH. I was literally shaking holding the camera. The cast members in the room were like “Would you like to be in the picture?” and I’m like “N-N-N-NO I-I’M G-F-GOOD IM J-JUST GONNA T-TAKE THIS -P-P-P-POLAROID” So I did, the picture is Hailee’s favorite and everything was fine. I needed to take 30 minutes to lower my heart rate, and I was okay.

BUT THE NEXT TIME.......you guys need to buckle up because this is where it gets UN. REAL.

Fast forward to 2019. Hailee is back in town with her whole family and she wants to meet Rey because she was new that year. And I was like “eeehhhhhh” and Hailee was like “dude, Rey’s a good guy she’s not gonna be a dick” and I’m like “EHHHHHHHH” so I was like “Fine, you know what? You’re right, Rey would NEVER be a dick to me.” (I was kinda wrong about that, but that’s not important lmfao. She was VERY Resistance and did NOT appreciate my Stormtrooper backpack.)

Then, as we were coming out of the Rey room, we were walking about the Landing Bay and she noticed that Kylo had no line. And it was at that moment, we realized the entire Landing Bay was practically deserted. Hailee, being the regular, fully functioning individual she is wanted to see Kylo and she’s like “I’m not gonna make you go in there, but I’ll be right back.” and I was like “great, cool, I’ll sit on this bench.”

Now, I need to set the scene. The Landing Bay, if you’ve ever been inside is a circular building where Innoventions used to be (for all you Disneyphiles). There’s a staircase that goes up to a second level that was, before it was Launch Bay, was a Marvel section that even featured Disney Infinity 3.0 (I worked on that game!) So at the ground floor level of this huge, solid wall stair case are benches that face into each unique area of the Launch Bay. The Dark Side meet and greets are directly adjacent to one of these benches about 30 yards away give or take . This bench looks directly towards the empty lines for Darth Vader and Kylo Ren. And if you’ve ever been inside those meet and greet rooms they are basically a set-dressed photo studio, but a VERY small space with a waiting area where the character comes to you and then brings you in to interact with you and in Kylo’s case, be an absolute dick to you beyond reason. More on that later.

So the Landing bay is currently empty. I will see two people in the next 5-7 minutes, none of which will witness what’s about to happen.

I’m sitting by myself on this bench, and my legs are SHAKING. As an anxious person, I’m imagining all of the possible scenarios happening inside. The FIRST thing I thought of was “I bet you anything Hailee outed me as being a weenie about meet and greets” (which she HAD done with Rey. Hailee I love you and the embarrassment I bear from that will never leave me) So I immediately text the group chat of my coworkers about it and as I’m texting frantically, my phone starts ringing.

It’s Hailee.

In that moment, I was livid. I was like “really this bitch is going to call me when I KNOW she’s in there with that asshole Kylo, like some friend” and I ALMOST let it go to voicemail, but in a flurry of bravery, I answered the phone and was like “Hailee, knock it off, this is NOT funny. DONT.” and I hung up and then I got REALLY scared because I didn’t hear ANYTHING on the other line.

And here’s where it gets ridiculous.

Remember, the Landing Bay is empty. At this point, I see the first set of people, a German family with two children happily skipping by me. As soon as they’re gone, the door to Kylo Ren’s meet and greet area opens. And I know this because there’s a light on the other side of it, I can see it as the door opens. Kylo appears in the doorway.

KYLO REN. APPEARS. IN. THE. DOOR. WAY.

I freeze. No movement in every possible inch of my body, I actually cannot move. I’m staring at him, he’s staring at me. The Landing Bay is empty. We stay like that for about ten seconds and he gestures for me to come.

By this point, I’m visibly shaking. I’m now holding my phone in a death grip and my palms are sweating so badly it’s gonna slip out of my hand like a fucking bar of soap. I shake my head. I cannot even speak, I just. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

then he glares at me. STILL! THERE’S NO ONE AROUND. NO ONE IS WITNESSING THIS EXCEPT FOR ME AND MUTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE KYLO REN. So after he glares at me, He does that thing he always does in all the fanfiction where his cape goes woosh and he’s gone.

So the door closes and then I immediately break down. Full blown panic attack, shaking, soundless crying, tears start POURING down my face. At this point, I see the second soul in the Landing Bay, a very adorably dressed girl with a parasol heading also to the Kylo Ren line, who is promptly taken into the waiting area by the cast member. She did not see this either.

Minutes later, Hailee appears from the exit side looking mildly concerned. She sees me crying and she’s like “oh my god what happened” and I E X P L O D E into tears like ‘how could you DO THIS TO ME it WASNT FUNNY’. And she sat down next to me and says:

“You are not going to believe what I’m about to tell you.”

According to Hailee, without her Polaroid, she asked the Cast Member to use her phone to take her picture. It was at this point she mentioned, to not my surprise at ALL, that she DID have someone else here with her, but she was sitting outside (me) and that if I were there, I’d be the one to take then picture.

So here’s where it gets weird because I only have half of this interaction: According to Hailee (who I love and trust with my whole life), Kylo demanded she contact me. Hailee politely declined, however he REMOVED her phone from her hand, DEMANDED she tell him which contact I was, dialed the number, PUT ME ON SPEAKERPHONE.

So. EVERYONE in that TINY ASS ROOM, Kylo’s handler, the photographer, Hailee, K Y L O FUCKING R E N. Heard me HOLDING BACK TEARS saying “KNOCK IT OFF THIS ISN”T FUNNY”

You know the rest, he storms out, stares me down,(threatens me, really), then disappears. He leaves a video message for me, which Hailee spared me from and then released her.

It took me an HOUR AND FORTY-FIVE minutes to feel myself again after that. Hailee felt SO...BAD about it, it absolutely put a damper on our day.

And that is why if I ever see Kylo walking about Galaxy’s Edge, there will be a Fae-shaped hole in the nearest blast door and I will be G O N E. I am not expecting anyone to believe a goddamn word of this because it’s truly insane, but cross my fucking heart, swear to die this actually happened.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TedTALK

#mod fae #tocr shenanigans #tocr storytime #staff ramblings #kylo ren #disneyland

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lethbians · 4 years

Note

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts.

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention.

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable with “notsfw” and “bill hader”.

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs.

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves.

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over.

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag.

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti.

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself.

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog).

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine.

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts.

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again.

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content.

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning.

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves.

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree).

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the ��““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen.

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19.

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in).

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry.

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has.

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink.

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

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son-of-skarmory · 4 years

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((Alright, everyone’s been making posts about their mental health right now so I guess it’s my turn. This is just meant to be a general thing-I’m not targeting anyone (none of this is single-instance stuff), and my main goal is just to raise awareness of what it’s like on my end. I’ll go into minor detail about that in a bit.

Basically, I want to make a PSA about IMing me right now.

Details under the cut, and if you read I’d appreciate some notification (like a like or a message, or even an IM saying ‘read your thing’. But as usual, no pressure to do it. Do what you need to do for your mental health, too.

tl;dr is IMs are overwhelming so please don’t overdo them with me. You can send them but please give me time and space.

So, as some of you have heard before, chats and IMs can stress me out to no end. Even texting can do it, and group chats are the bane of my existence. I stress out over missing things, and it can tear my attention away from anything else because I don’t want the other person to be left hanging. So I don’t use tumblr’s chat rooms and I don’t use d.iscord.

‘But Wings!’ You say, potentially frustrated by my hypocrisy. ‘We IM all the time! You send me messages, so am I expected to not send you anything?!’

And, no, please hear me out. I can handle short bursts of messages if we’re in the middle of discussing something like and idea. I can also use chat features if there’s the mutual understanding that there’s zero rush to reply, or sometimes even to respond at all. But I can’t do constant, and I can’t do small talk.

Right now, amidst all this chaos, my mental health is really struggling. A quick summary (that you can skip if you want):

I’m constantly dealing with invasive and paranoid thoughts (the latter especially about Dad). I’m almost always overstimulated, and my brain feels like it’s been wrapped in tulle. I don’t ever feel like I’m not anxious and I’m crying nearly every day, which is scary because for me crying can trigger migraines.

My dad, who I’m mostly stuck with, is a bigot with severe hearing loss, and even with his hearing aids in it’s too loud for me to be in the same room with him (which is where my computer happens to be). He barely helps me take care of Benny, who currently needs a lot of stimulation that I can’t give him. Dad is also at extremely high risk when it comes to C.OVID-19 (and please don’t make and comments or jokes about it maybe being a good thing if he dies).

Work is a complete mystery. If we can even run Summer Camps this year, we don’t have the same budget as most years since we had no Spring Break Camps, field trip groups, or Spring after school camps. So if we run camps in person, I have to change up my projects bc we’ll have a limited budget for special materials outside what the center already has. There’s also a possibility we’ll do Zoom classes from our houses, in which case I have to set up space, limit my materials even more (since we’ll be sending out a materials list for parents to buy, and they probably won’t want to purchase plaster or block printing ink), potentially even dropping some classes. And also I’ll have to look at my hideous body on camera since I have to make sure the kids can see what I’m doing (meaning I might need an overhead camera?). My retail job is...I have no idea.

Plus, as of May 1st I have no insurance, I have to find a new therapist and psychiatrist, and one of my meds costs over $250. And bonus if I do end up getting that tonsillectomy that was supposed to happen while I was on my parents’ insurance.

Between no work right now and whatever happens with Summer Camps, it’s gonna be a heavy blow to my finances. And since I’m trying to file for state insurance, I had to get kicked out of my savings accounts. I can ask Mom to send me some money from them if need be, but just the whole concept of having almost no access to that money in an emergency is terrifying, especially since I pay for Benny’s food and vet bills. I know that this one makes me sound like the entitled white girl I am but I’m scared, okay?

So...yeah. Everything is a bit much right now, but I really want to be here. I just want to lay down a few guidelines:

Please do not IM me just because I’m on. This is honestly one of the worst things. Sometimes it makes me avoid that account for the rest of the day.

Please do not expect me to hold small talk via IMs. You’re free to come to me with more focused topics, but don’t IM me for the sake of IMing me.

Understand that I might be very slow to reply, and in some cases I might not reply at all because I’m stressed by life stuff or have nothing to offer. If I don’t reply, it’s not because I’m ignoring you or don’t like you. I just need some time or space or both.

I’m not trying to say you can’t IM me. In fact, getting IMs can be a positive thing, because then I feel like I’m being thought about and am actually important to people (which is something I’m trying to deal with, I promise). Someone checking in can very super uplifting. I love talking about characters interacting. But just understand that chats and IMs and DMs can be very hard for me.

...Yeah. I’ll try to spread this around to the other blogs over some time. I’m sorry this kinda turned into a vent session, but I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Please make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well, and please know I love you very much <3 ))

#out of birds #mental health stuff #body image tw #please let me know if I need to tag anything #I'm gonna go play ACNH #but I'll try to be back later #thank you for being kind to me

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ghoulangerlee · 4 years

Text

the first taste of love (oh bittersweet) ; malex

i posted this on ao3, but i am nothing if not predictable so i’m posting a tumblr version too!

basically uhh i wrote a roswell new mexico fic, oh no. im very nervous and very anxious bc there’s so many good writers in the fandom and i am. me. but like, i saw that post, with the still from the episode tonight and my brain went okay sure here’s this.

its definitely AU because yknow. obviously what i think could happen isn’t whats gonna happen but sdlkfj. ANYWAY. title comes from strawberry wine by deana carter bc tbh michael guerin definitely listens to country music’s greatest women artists

also yes i know the whole alien thing isnt like anyone but said aliens thing to tell maria but yknow. guilt. being in on something someone else isnt in on. blah blah

=========

He doesn't know how long they’ve been sitting there, just talking, but Alex isn't going to complain, not when it's the first time in ten years that they've been able to have this.

And it's comfortable and nice and Michael's leg is warm where it's pressed against his, his posture open and welcoming and Alex can't help but lean into it, watching, as if hanging onto every word—and he is, hanging onto everything Michael's saying, unsure of when they'll get this chance again, with everything going on.

He's so caught up in everything, in how right all of this feels that he doesn't realize Michael's stopped talking, that he's staring at him with this horribly vulnerable look on his face, something morphing into determination and then, then —

Michael's lips are soft against his, soft and dry and chapped at the corners where Michael constantly darts his tongue out against the skin when he's nervous or annoyed and Alex’s breath catches, his eyes open wide and Michael just pushes forward, firmer, hand coming up to cup the side of Alex’s jaw.

He inhales, sharp through his nose and then, then he relaxes, his hand gripping the center of Michael's button up shirt, holding on tight as the kiss deepens, as Michael presses into his side, other hand warm against his thigh, warm through his jeans.

A noise leaves Alex’s throat, something soft and pained and desperate all wrapped together as he kisses back, gives as good as he can, feeling something warm and heavy in his chest at the needy sound Michael makes.

At once, it all comes rushing back and Alex pulls away, jerks out of Michael’s reach, panting and flushed and wishing for once he could be selfish.

“Guerin, we can't do this,” he says, wishing his voice didn't waver as obvious as it did, wishing to be anywhere but here right now. “ I can't do this to Maria. She doesn't deserve this.”

Michael's face does something weird then, a look crosses it—half pained, half ashamed, and he pulls his cowboy hat off, runs his fingers through his hair, Alex’s eyes tracking where his fingers get caught up in the curls. “Yeah well, no worries. She's not really in the picture right now.”

Alex frowns, feels something protective bubble up in his chest, “Just because she's not here—”

“ No , Alex,” Michael says, cutting him off. “She and I didn't last. Y’know. We're on an indefinite break.”

“So what happened to Maria being something easy ,” Alex can't help but ask, the words twisted with grief and pain, “If you two can't last, is there even any hope—” for us , he doesn't finish, but Michael goes rigid beside him and once again Alex is hit with the stupid realization that he's reactive , that he doesn't think before he speaks.

Michael stands up, putting distance between the two of them, hat held tightly in his left hand as he paces in front of Alex. “Look, I fucked up, okay? I fucked up big time, I just. Didn't tell her about the big green alien thing and then she found Rosa and well, now she knows.” His voice is quick, not quite panicky but not all calm either, “She’s pissed at me, at Liz, probably at you too for keeping her in the dark the whole time. And well, lying is sort of a relationship deal breaker in the grand scheme of things.”

Part of him hurts for Michael, for Maria, bit the quiet vindictive part of him just whispers if I can't be happy neither can he , but he pushes that away, quietly berates himself for even thinking that and inhales deeply. “Give it time,” he says instead. “Maria might come around. I. We still haven't quite talked since everything but I can put in a good word for you. Bring up dear old dad’s plot to destroy all aliens, you included, help you save face.”

And even as he offers to help Michael fix his and Maria’s relationship, he feels tired all of a sudden, feels like he should be selfish in this situation but, but—

“No, no,” Michael says, shaking his head hard enough to make his curls bounce. “She's made it very clear she can't trust me or Liz right now. That we're on her shitlist and it's looking like we might not get off of it anytime soon.” He breathes in deep, steels himself, “And I’m coming to realize that kissing you was a mistake,” he continues, “Just. You don't deserve that from me, I’d be doing the same chicken shitted shit I said you were doing to me.”

Alex watches as he deflates a little, his shoulders go limp, and he stands too, taking a step closer, “Look, Guerin,” he pauses, “ Michael ,” he corrects, “I get it, okay? You just started something with Maria, now you're not together and it hurts , and the physical thing between us? It's always been easy. Something to fall back on when words or whatever hasn't been enough.” He rubs his hands on his jeans before crossing his arms against his chest, posture going stiff, “I said some things I shouldn't have and this is not like me stringing you on all those years.” He swallows, “You're hurting, and I get that. Sometimes, it's easier to mask the hurt with something physical than try to parse through it mentally”

Michael looks up at him, raw and open, incredulous, “You really are a self-sacrificing piece of shit, aren't you?” He asks, something akin to wonder in his voice.

The deprecating laugh escapes before he can stop it, “Who told you that?”

Michael snorts, rubbing his right hand across his face in annoyance, “Liz briefly mentioned it when she said you'd reenlisted, said you didn't know when to quit. That you'd rather see those around you thrive even if it meant you had to suffer.” He presses his lips together, “That's why you just left after that night, wasn't it? In the shed. If you didn't leave, what, your dad would have come after me again? Hassling a teenage boy for sleeping with his son?”

Alex swallows, feels dread creeping up along with the urge to leave, but he tilts his chin up, stares across at Michael, “I did it to keep you safe.” He says, voice more steady that he expected. “And as much as it hurt, I'd do it again, if it meant he'd never lay another hand on you.”

A sour, pinched look flits across his face, “And what, you'd rather be in his shadow than have your own happiness?”

Alex squeezes his arms tighter against his chest, “I don't like seeing the people I care about hurt,” he says, and he suddenly feels vulnerable again, like a teenager, “I knew if I'd enlisted he’d leave you alone. If I distanced myself from you, he wouldn't have a reason to go after you. And after Caufield, I’m glad I did, all those years ago.” He breathes in shakily, “And yeah, I know, it's selfish, I should have asked you. I should have talked to you before making those sorts of decisions for you because it hurts , it's what makes our relationship hard and painful for you. I know .”

He goes quiet for a few moments, then, “After the way he ran my mother off, after doing that, I couldn't let him destroy you too, Michael. That's absolutely no excuse for anything I did, because I did fuck up, I fucked you up, I fucked us up, everything. But god ,I’d rather have fucked any chance of us up than lose you permanently.”

Alex rubs his arm across his face, feeling his eyes well with tears, “So yeah, I’m a self-sacrificing piece of shit but if it keeps people alive then I’ll continue to do it.”

Michael stands there, across from him and Alex feels a pull of something, sees the way Michael straightens his shoulders, makes himself look taller, and then he's closing the space between them, arms wrapping around Alex’s shoulders.

“You are a goddamn piece of work, Manes,” Michael says, voice half muffled by his shirt. “When I said loving you was hard, I didn't mean for you to fucking lie to your dad about cutting me out of your life. I didn't mean that we couldn't still be friends , that you had to sell yourself back to the air force.” he says the words so fiercely that Alex believes them.

“I want you and Maria to be happy, I want you to be happy, and that makes me selfish. There's part of me that wants to convince you to be with me, but the other part of me wants you and Maria to have a chance because. If she makes you happy? Then I want that for you.” Alex says, voice shaky as his hands rest on Michael's sides, gripping his shirt. “As much as I want to just kiss you and forget about all of this, I know we can't. We can't do that. If you want to be with Maria. If you want a chance at happiness.”

Michael squeezes him tighter, and then he's pressing their foreheads together, “But what do you want?”

Alex blinks at Michael, eyes wet and red rimmed, “I want you to be safe. That's why I enlisted again, so I can take down whatever this is my dad's planning. I can't do it from the outside. I have to be inside.”

Michael makes an unhappy noise, “Stop. Think about yourself for once. You said you wanted to convince me to be with you? So do it, Manes. Show me you're even worth my time. Show me that what we had in highschool wasn't just a fling for you.” He challenges, “I know you want what's best for me, but maybe. Hell maybe I don't know what's best for me yet. Maybe I still want you. Maybe I still want an us .”

“I don't want to force you,” Alex says, fierce, “I recognize I fucked up and I know you were with Maria because you like her and it doesn't hurt to be with her. I'm not going to ruin what little chance you have left.”

“We both fucked up, Alex,” Michael says, “We both did, and it's unfair that I blamed it all on you. We were teenagers who didn't know shit about each other except that we had feelings.” He looks into Alex's eyes, “I’d like to think that we're adults now and we can handle this more. Maturely. We can sit down, figure out shit out. And hell, maybe in the future we'll be at a place where we can be us again.” He slowly withdraws from the hug, dragging his thumb gently down Alex’s cheek, aching inside at the way Alex closes his eyes and leans into it. “Right now, we need to focus. We need to talk about all this. We need to shut your dad’s operation down. Somehow help Max and Rosa and Maria.”

When he pulls his thumb away from Alex's face, Alex opens his eyes slowly, staring at him with a sad sort of look on his face, “And if you and Maria somehow fix the mess between you, I don't want you to give up on that for me. Okay?”

Michael sighs noisily out of his nose, “I really need you to stop thinking about me and other people and please act selfish this once .” He says, “This isn't about Maria and me, this is about you and me, and the two of us reconciling , because I had a fucking good time today before I forgot to tamp down the unbridled lust I feel for you, and I want more of that. If we can be friends first, I’d just. I'd really like that.”

Alex inhales softly, nods somewhat tentatively, fighting back the urge to argue with Michael, stamps down on the voice telling him that they can never be friends because Alex feels too big for him. “Okay. Okay. You're right Guerin. I need this. We need this.”

“Just two guys talking about the past trauma they've inflicted on each other and the imminent doom of one's dad on an entire alien race,” Michael says, “Seems simple enough.”

And then, Alex pulls himself together, takes a few relaxing breaths, “We've also got to somehow bring Max back to life,” he adds dryly.

“Nope. No way, that's all on Liz. I'm an engineer not a biologist.” Michael says, finally placing his hat on his head again. “I’ll help where I can but she's taking point on that.”

Alex snorts quietly, and the tension eases out of the air, as he sits back down on the log, Michael joining him again, leaning back to stare up at the sky, their thighs pressed together.

“We're gonna figure this out, Alex,” Michael says into the evening sky, and though Alex is unsure of what exactly this is, he believes him.

#malex #roswell new mexico #my fic #i got a decent reception on ao3 and im v happy #but im also like one of those weirdos who cross post everywhere else too so haha #oops

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bakugous-abs · 6 years

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Yo, a scenario here. Bakugo, Torodoki, Midoriya, Tokoyomi and Iida reacting to their s/o getting stalked by an ex? Like the ex leaving creepy Voicemails, leaving flowers and candy in their mail box and follows them around in public.

Admin Bomb with another request, but this time it's a scenario! I hope you enjoy reading it and much as I enjoyed writing it

- Bomb

Bakugou

At first, the voicemails were just disregarded as some prank call or some sales person looking for some cheap money, and they trashed them as soon as they came, not bothering to even spare them a glanceBut after multiple blockings and what felt like several hundred deletions later, they finally decided to listen in on one of them, and they had wished they didn’t, so very much“S/o~~! You cant ignore me forever honey plum~!” The moment his voice rang into the air, they had dropped their cell phone onto the kitchen counter, their hands shaking and fear swimming across their face. They wanted it to stop, they knew it was a few simple taps away, but they couldn’t move, and it kept playing. “I know you’re getting them. My old numbers have been blocked and discarded, but it always delights me to know you’re playing this kind of game with me~. Call me later, mwah!”

The voicemail ended, and s/o was still very shooken. All those voicemails. The literal hundreds of deleted voicemails sitting in their trashcan, was from him?

Their ex was an obsessive freak that completely fetishized them and their relationship. Each and every moment of the days they spent together, were always him talking about he loved them so much and how he wanted to just run his fingers through their hair, and kiss them where no one else should. He seemed to only think about their body and what he could do with it, instead of actually spending quality time with them to just hang out

And it got too much. They broke up with him after weeks of the creepy and obsessive talk and fleed all the way to the UA area, where they got in, and found their new boyfriend, one that could treat them right, Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou understood their need of a slower relationship, and despite his impatient behaviour, he was willing to wait every second he had to to keep you comfortable. He didn’t want to drive them away from him. They were his and his only, and it bugged him to realize that taking things too fast could result in them leaving him behind for someone else. Of course, you could have friends, but he was still just a bit sketchy and protective when the guys would get close

He was a good, understanding boyfriend, and you loved him. And you didn’t need the recurrence of your ex to ruin what you had

They were practically late getting to school because the voicemail had shaken them up so bad, but they managed to get in through the door and take their seat before homeroom class representative, Tenya Iida, started to yell at them

They had hoped they looked like they normally would to not raise suspicion that something happened, but under the eagle and analyzing eyes of their boyfriend, he was able to spot your clear discomfort and shooken form the moment you walked in, tie backwards and more random strands of hair hanging out than usual

So it wasn’t surprising that during Lunch Break he pulled them aside and asked what the fuck was wrong with them and why they looked the way they did

“A-Aha, jeez Bakugou. I realize I looked bad this morning but not that bad.” They tried to play it off and slip out of his gaze, but he wasn’t gonna let this go that easily

“Don’t start using that shit on me. I know somethings wrong and I want you to tell me. Im your fucking boyfriend, you gotta be able to tell me shit without thinking im gonna be stupidly mad about it” He pried a bit more, his slouched form blocking their way from leaving him

They were hesitant, but they eventually told him all about their ex. They got increasingly more anxious as time went by explaining him, they just wanted this conversation to be over with and hope Bakugou wouldn’t blow them up or yell at them too much. They got shakier and more and more scared the more they explained their situation with the creepy ex, and they almost broke down when they finished, using the wall for support

“A-And, its just scary. The lengths he’s going to just to talk to me. He’s changed his fucking number after I block each and every one and calling out my name in a way that makes me absolutely disgusted with myself. And I… I just want him to stay away from me!” they collapsed to the ground, tears pooling off their face as they clutched their chest, words unable to form anymore

Bakugou… kinda felt bad. He had pried and prodded them to tell him all that even though they didn’t want to. He made them live through their life with their creepy fuckface ex. He made them into the scared pile on the floor that’s sobbing their eyeballs out

“H-Hey. Don’t cry, dammit. Crying looks ugly on you.” He knelt down and hesitantly moved his hands forward, taking them close to his body. He was surprised to find them immediately melting into him and clutching onto him like their life depending on it

“Look s/o, as much as it pisses me off to say, I’m not great with words, but that asswipe isnt gonna hurt you like that anymore, ok? You’re with me now. The future number one hero for fucks sake! I’m not gonna let him place his grimy hands on you or even look at you with those eyes. He doesn’t get to do that to you. So just, stop crying, ok? Just, trust me on this” His absolute rage was hidden by the softness he attempted to make his voice sound

By the time he was done, they were done crying and sniffles were the only sound they made. But they didn’t feel all that scared anymore. The small words Bakugou said made them feel better. Hours ago they were shaking in their kitchen, scared of their phone, and now they were cradled in Bakugou’s arms

They nodded and mustered up their strength to say, “Okay… Ill trust you for now, Katsuki.” In his arms, they felt safe and loved, the creepy voicemails vanishing from their head, the space now being taken up with images of their boyfriend

Todoroki

Orchids. S/o’s favorite flower. That is a fact known by few, and appreciated by none. They were the prettiest flowers to find in their book. Each flower had their own meaning, and they loved all of them. But, a certain color of this beautiful species, is one they hated most

Red

Red Orchids, meaning desire and passion, were all but desirable. They hated them. They hated one of the only flowers that could put a smile on their face. And its all because of him

He made them hate these beautiful specimens. He made them begin to hate the flower in general, starting with this one. The prettiest color of that species. Your ex

He was a sweet guy, he really was. He was considerate, and helped anyone he could out. He gave them a sense of trust, and she trusted him to know that Orchids were their favorite flower. But they regretted it the moment the next day came

He introduced them to his side chick and had the most sadistic look in his eyes as he suggested they should become their personal punching bag, giving up your body so they can have their own satisfaction. And they immediately rejected the idea, angering both of them. They eventually had to rely on their quirk as a means of defense and escape, that last thing he shouted was how much he just red orchids, and threw an entire bouquet at them

After that, they moved to Japan, across the pacific ocean, away from him. But that didn’t stop his onslaught. They began to send red roses, once a month, on the day of their breakup. The fifteenth of every month, a bouquet of red orchids would sit on their door step the day they came home. And each day, they would breakdown crying and throw out the orchids as fast as they could

And unfortunately, they had forgot about them, and their new boyfriend, Todoroki Shouto was with them for a study project

He almost dropped the mug of coffee in his hands when he heard a thud by the front door and rushed to see a bouquet of red orchids in their hands, their eyes seeming to break in pieces right in front of him as they chucked them across the room and began to sob on the floor

“S/o! Are you okay?!” He called out, rushing to their side at once to get them off the grimy ground by the door

“I hate him! I hate him so much!” They screamed out to what looked no one as they legs tried to walk, but ended up just getting dragged on the floor as Todoroki wrapped their arm over his shoulder and walked them to the couch

“S/o! You’re gonna have to calm down in order for me to understand what’s wrong. What happened?” He set them down as they tried to stop their tears on the couch

“Orchids! I love them so much, but I cant stand to see the red ones anymore! They cause me so much pain!” They explained the entire situation, starting from the beginning and ending the story when they had arrived here in Japan. “And I just can’t look at them anymore. They always remind me of that day, and I was so scared”

Their tears continued to stream down their face till they had no more to shed, and Todoroki took this as his opportunity to speak

“I didn’t realize. But, what if I sent you your favorite color Orchid? I replaced the red orchids with your favorite color, and then you wouldn’t have to be reminded of them. You can come home to those flowers instead of red ones?”

S/o looked up at him slowly, looking at his brown and cerulean blue eyes, looking for any signs of lying. “Really?”

He nodded, his face still flat and emotionless. “Yeah. If I can get rid of the bad ones, I could maybe replace them with better ones”

They took and minute to process his words before a small smile decorated their face, a little nod telling Todotoki that they would like that very much

“Alright, what’s your favorite color?”

“Blue”

“May I ask why?”

They were silent, a bit embarrassed by their answer before muttering it as low as they could, “Because it reminds me of your eye”

Todoroki’s face went from zero to flaming hot at their answer, and pretty he could have sworn he saw a smug smile on their face as he hid his face in his hands, frost, and heat radiating from his sides while s/o laughed at his reaction

But at least they were smiling now, and not sad, completely forgetting about the bouquet from earlier, and he was happy to see them smiling again

Midoriya

Chocolate was their personal favorite of any kind of food out there, and anyone within Japan would know that the first moment they began talking to them

But, unfortunately, with that going for them, they would often get sent random chocolate boxes from strangers they didn’t even know, and one person in particular was persistent enough to keep sending a heart box each and every week with little notes attached to each piece, and it was getting quite bothersome

If the box wasn’t enough to set them off, it was the fact that it was only ever filled with their favorite kind of chocolate and the notes were something that you would only send to a partner

And when they finally started coming with a name, they didn’t know how to react anymore. These unsettling heart shaped boxes of chocolate were coming from their ex of three years

He was a man that was about two older than they were, and it had made them feel weird to be dating a man older than them, so they had requested to split ways, and he would always reply no. They tried multiple times to ask if they could break up, and he was getting more and more aggressive each time, until they finally stood their ground against the much stronger man, terrified of how he would react and said they were done with this uncomfortable relationship, and bolted out the door and fled to Japan

But somehow, it seems that he had found them again, and these chocolates were making them a bit apprehensive about eating any other ones

And Midoriya was the first to notice

After transferring into Yuuei, they had an immediate relationship that started as timid friends with the shy freckled boy, and as time went by, they got to know eachother better and they began to date. Deku was a blushing mess when he asked her to be with him after getting hyped up by the rest of Class 1-A for about three hours before hand, and they’ve only grown closer since

So it was understandable that he was able to see when something was wrong with his s/o, and it was immediately that he found at that they were down when they didn’t see a bar of chocolate anywhere near them during class

So, he approached them about it, and they only shook their head and looked down, pushing him away and telling him they were fine and to not worry

But all the poor boy could do was worry about them, and he knew he had to confront them about it, but how could he? They had told him not to worry and he didn’t want to upset them somehow by pushing in on privacy

But he decided to go for it anyway. He was worried, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus until he found out what was wrong

After class had ended, he held them back and asked to talk with them, and they hesitantly agreed

“S/o… um, I’m sorry of pushing my boundaries a bit, but I was wondering if you were really ok. You seemed a bit down and sickly this morning and I noticed there wasn’t any um… chocolate nearby and it struck me as strange to see you without any since it’s your favorite food and all”

The boy was nervously playing with his bandages on his hands from bruising them up a bit too much, but he watched them with those analyzing eyes of his, and he told tell something was definitely up

“Umm… It’s just uh.. I’ve been, receiving chocolates from strangers lately, and they’re mostly all coming from, my ex boyfriend…”

They paused and looked at Deku’s reaction, seeing his face blank and his mouth prop open a bit

“He um… he’s a bit older than me, and it made me uncomfortable with that two year age gap, so I asked to break up several times, and he said no. So I had forcefully broke up with him one night a few years ago and came here. And why is it just now that he begins to resurface and try to take me back? Can’t he see i’m uncomfortable with him? I just want him gone. All those boxes of chocolates are heart shaped and have little notes attached to each one. They’re all my favorite chocolates too, so seeing him do that, makes me feel kind of sick to eat anymore…” they looked down at the ground, their face sad with tears

Deku couldn’t believe his ears

They had to forcefully break up with someone because they kept saying no, and now they were being as persistent as ever and not realizing that what they’re doing is hurting his s/o

It’s even making them not want to eat their favorite treat! How unkind of them! How could they do that?

He fidgeted in his place, trying to come up with a solution to the problem, till something crossed his mind

“Do… Do you live with anyone?” He asked timidly, his cheeks heating up at the proposal he was about to ask

“Um… no…. I had moved out of my parents home when I could. They weren’t the best parental figures”

“Oh, um ok. Well, I was wondering… maybe you could um…” His cheeks heated up and he scratched the back of his neck. S/o lifted their head to see his nervous stance

“Well… maybe you could live with… me and my mom” the suggestion finally rang out of his mouth, and s/o was taken back a bit

“Of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to!” Deku began to flail his arms, worried about the reaction he got from them. “I was just thinking that if you moved out of your apartment and moved into mine then he couldn’t send the chocolates anymore because he wouldn’t be able to since no one would be living there anymore! Im sorry if I freaked you out or-” He immediately stopped rambling when he heard a giggle escape his s/o’s mouth

The laughter started as giggling, but it eventually raised into full on tearful laughing, a smile on their face as their eyes clenched shut, leaving Deku confused

Did he say something funny? Were they laughing at him?

Once they calmed down, they leaned forward and rested their head on Dekus shoulder, hugging themself. “You broccoli head” They muttered fondly

“B-Broccoli head?!”

“Of course I’ll move in with you and your mother. You don’t need to be so shy about it” They unwrapped their arms from themselves and attached them to Deku, the poor boy practically fainting from the closeness of their body

“Y-You will?” He asked, still nervous about engaging in the hug as well

“Yeah, now hug me back you weeaboo, I’m touch starved right now, and I want chocolate”

Deku smiled and wrapped his arms around them, making himself a silent promise to always protect them from the growing dangers of the world, from their ex… and to always keep chocolate on hand from now on

Tokoyami

Eyes had been on them for a while now, they could feel it. They had always felt like someone was watching them, but ever since they moved away from their creepy ex and broke up with him, they had been feeling it more often than usual

It never stopped. They felt it, always. At Yuuei, on their walks to and from school, their shopping trips, and even with their current, and much better boyfriend, Tokoyami Fumikage

He was a sweet bird boy that was emo inside and out, no matter who he was with, and they loved him for it. They appreciated his ability to be able to express himself in the way he could, and in the way that made him most happy. He was him, and they respected that. Its what got them started on their relationship in the first place

He was as gentle as a mother swan to her babies, and yet, as ravenous as an Eagle when anyone would pick on s/o, making sure to run them off and stick close again to their side for the remainder of the day

They were walking with him now, and once again, started to feel the same pair of eyes on them as always. Their mood immediately dropped and demeanor changed to very uncomfortable and wanting to run. Run away from the eyes that followed them everywhere. Wanting to run away from the uncomfortable atmosphere, but they kept strong

After all, they were with their boyfriend, they had nothing to fear, right?

Wrong

So very, very wrong

“Dearest, I’m gonna use the restroom real quick, stay put and I’ll be back momentarily” Tokoyami let go of their hand, missing the warmth already as he entered the bathroom

S/o uncomfortably stood a little ways away from the bathroom, feeling a bit shy about being so near the place where males did their business. People were starting to turn in for the night, leaving the gaps between people to grow in size. People were getting their personal space again, and maybe, just maybe, they could spot who exactly it was spying on them

They didn’t have time to think or react when an arm wrapped around their upper body, clamping their arms to their sides and a hand put over their mouth and yanked into an alleyway. Panic flooded their body and they tried to let out a scream, but realized that no sound would come past their mouth

“Hey s/o! I found ya, hahaha! Did ya miss me?!” The voice they had tried to forget from those years crept back into their mind when they tried to look to see who it was, realizing it was their homicidal ex

This man… this disgusting man before them had killed their older brother and two other men months before they found out it. News broadcasts were everywhere about the mysterious disappearances and it wasn’t till a night before they broke up that they realized… those two men who had flirted with them, and their older brother, were killed at the hands of their boyfriend. It was the scariest moment of their life in those ten minutes the news played the case on the screen. Ten sickening minutes of watched two bodies get pulled from a cellar and finding their brothers body in a ditch

This ex, killed any man that interacted with them. He wanted them to himself, and he was gonna do everything he could to keep them away from potential threats

They were terrified, and broke up with him over phone before discarding in a trashcan nearby and fleeing to the opposite side of the country, and hopefully away from him. But it seems he had found them

Their breathing sped up as they tried to cry out for help, make any sound at all, but nothing came out

“Trying to scream are we? Trying to get me away from you again?!” His eyes shook and darted in any direction they could, “Well too bad! I’m your boyfriend! You don’t get to run away from me! We’re a couple! How could you do that?! Run away from me after I killed those people for you?! FOR US?!” His yelling was terrifying, their body going into immediate shut down as they practically went limp against the wall

“I killed them so they wouldn’t destroy our relationship! And you thank me like this?! You’re a beautiful bitch! My beautiful bitch! I love you, and no one else can have you! I’ve been watching you for years now! I know everything I possibly can about you, and I wanna know more!” A disturbing laugh erupted from his throat

Their eyes were cloudy with tears and they clenched their eyes shut, and before they knew it, they were on the ground, and a loud thud resonated through the alleyway as their ex’s body was flown across the ground and into a dumpster where he laid unconscious

Their eyes widened and looked to the entrance to see Tokoyami and Dark Shadow staring at their ex with angry eyes, but they softened once they saw their shaken and fearful form

“S/o! Dearest! Are you alright?!” Tokoyami shouted, Dark Shadow curling around them both when Tokoyami wrapped his arms around them

“No! No im not! He-He-He, He stalked me! He stalked me for months! Watching my every move!” Their head banged against Tokoyamis chest and their hands balled into fists, clenching his shirt. “He killed my brother and two innocent men because of me!”

They babbled on, but Tokoyami kept shushing them. He had eavesdropped and listened to the whole thing when he was done with his quick bathroom break. His anger was fueling every second he listened to that maniac talk to his s/o like that, and he took out Dark Shadow and punched him against a dumpster, anger seething from every pore on his body

“S/o. This is not your fault. You had no clue what was happening behind closed doors, and he kept you in the dark. He did things that should never have began to be considered of doing. He is a creature of far more darkness than a black hole, and you don’t need to blame yourself for it. You don’t need to give any apologies to a man of that rank”

His beak nuzzled into their neck as he tried his best to calm them down, but still very conscious of the pda in the open and not in the his or their room in the Yuuei dorms

S/o was still very shaken, but knowing how angry and sad Tokoyami felt because of their ex made them feel safer. They knew he didn’t, and would never agree to his ways of showing love. And they felt eternally happy about it as they cried into his chest

“I.. I guess the date is ruined now, huh?”

“Pay no mind to the date. What matters now is your health and well being. Come along, we should get back to the dorms and rest”

They nodded and got up, grabbing the hand of their boyfriend and leaning on them as their pillar of support, depending on their hero to guide them safely home

Iida

S/o wasn’t much of a gifter nor a receiver. They didn’t like the idea of buying someone things and them not being able to pay them back, or vise versa. They believe, they should both be able to exchange something, preferably of equal value

So it kind of freaks them out when they kept receiving gifts in their mailbox and on their doorstep from an unknown sender

They knew it couldn’t have been Iida. He would definitely have brung it up on their alone time if they had received any gifts he may have sent. So who could it be?

Their question was answered when a tenth gift was sent. It was a small purple carnival bear with pretty blue eyes, a rolled up note tied with a red ribbon in its hand in their mailbox. It was strange to see the note, and it wasn’t a good strange

After about the third gift they were starting to get a little iffy about whether they should keep or discard them to a trashcan nearby. And now, after being so cautious of their mailbox, this bear finally has a clue as to who is sending these stupid gifts

They set their school bag on the ground and began to untie the note from its hand, putting the bear under their arm and unraveling the note, reading the contents

“Dear, beautiful s/o. It seems you have received gift number ten. Now. You may be wondering. Who are they coming from, and I bet the answer will surprise you!”

Strange way to start a letter, and they regretted reading any further

“Well, guess whoooo? It’s me! Your ex”

They gasped before seething with rage. This pipsqueak of a piece of human, their ex, was the one sending them gifts

“S/o!” a voice rang through the air, and they lifted their head to see Iida heading their way, their mood lifting the slightest too see him speeding towards them. “Pleasant surprise to see you outside! What have you got there?” He asked as he took the remaining strides to be by their side

“It’s um… it’s nothing” They responded, looking at the note before crumbling it up and putting it in their school bag, the bear dropping to the ground as they bent down to pick it up

Iida was fast to pick it up and examine it

“Huh. I didn’t know there was a carnival in town” he responded in a questionable way as he handed it to them, their bag now over their shoulders

“There… there isn’t one. My uhh, aunt, lives in America and she sent me this thinking I would enjoy it. But she knows how much I don’t really like small toys like this” they took it from him and looked it over, the weird texture of the fur setting them off

“Ah, I see. Well, take care, I must be on my way. I cannot keep Tensei waiting at home” and with that he sped off down the sidewalk to his own home

The following days were filled with even more gifts and even more notes attached to them. It was panicking and infuriating. Can he not take a hint? Can he really not see that they don’t want to be with him anymore? Can’t he see that he messed up by cheating on them in the first place? Can’t he see that this is his fault?

They had began to just not read them anymore or even spare them a glance and immediately throw them away, but that only seemed to make the situation worse as the gifts kept getting larger in value and more expensive, now receiving whole phones and on one occasion, a brand new television set that now sat in a spare room in their house

And, it was finally that this next gift sent them into a near panic attack. If was smaller than the last one, and was probably the most valuable thing someone else could ever want from a man

It was an engagement ring with a little poem on the inside, and that was unfortunately when Iida came strutting out of the bathroom as they screamed and threw the ring across the house, hitting and getting stuck in the wall

“S/o!” Iida was by their side in an instant, looking between them and the engagement ring implanted into the wall and their shaking form on the ground, seething with absolute anger. “What’s the matter?”

“This!” They pointed at the small velvet box, standing up and pacing the room

He picked it up and read through the note, his eyebrows scrunching up in confusion and possibly anger

“This man, my ex, keeps sending me gifts upon gifts of small things from little carnival toys to flat screen tvs, but now he’s taking it too far with giving me something like this! He’s the one that messed up! HE cheated on ME! He ruined my trust in people for a period of time and he’s just sending me all these things! I don’t like receiving gifts unless I can give back something of equal value, and he knows this! But he’s doing it anyway, and I can’t take it anymore!”

Tears spilled from their eyes. But they weren’t sad, no, they were angry tears

Iida was conflicted with what to do. No man should ever hurt a woman like this unless they were of criminal level. And yet, his s/o had been the one to through something like this

At first he felt guilty for not realizing something was up with the way they kept getting new things around the house shoved into corners of the room and the way they didn’t like going near a certain door in their house. But then he felt anger at their ex

He should be respectful of another person’s privacy. If they say no, that means no, and there’s no way around it. Not unless you are a manipulative person that had somehow convinced them into doing something, and that’s just wrong and unprofessional on multiple levels

This man has causes his s/o so much pain, and now their literally crying angry tears and he didn’t know how to help. He was now confused. What should he do?

He looked at the poem a little more before walking over and retrieving the ring from the wall. He looked s/o right in the eye before opening the window and throwing it into a trashcan in an alleyway trashcan below

“Now, I don’t know much about your ex other than what you just told me. But I believe he is not a good man. He should be able to respect a person’s privacy and listen to them when they tell him no, especially women in the day and age we live in”

Their s/o wiped their tears as they noticable bit their tongue, probably trying not to yell anymore than they had to

“So, maybe, you can sell this apartment, and move into the dorms with the rest of us”

Their s/o was immediately about say something, probably to reject the idea, but he beat them to it and spoke more. “Now, hold on just a moment. Listen to me talk.” They shut their mouth and looked at Iida, waiting for him to continue. “If you were to move out of here and into the dorms, he wouldn’t be able to send you anything without proper consent from yourself, and if he did, you can immediately reject anything coming from that address. And you could leave all these prior gifts behind for someone else to take”

Their s/o’s mouth seemed to screw shut as they looked around the apartment. He could understand why. This was their parents apartment before they unfortunately passed away from a villian attack two years ago. So this apartment has held some emotional value, but this is their own safety that was on the line here

They looked over at Iida, the anger subsiding into sadness as they nodded

He smiled and walked over to them, pulling them into a hug. “I know it might be difficult. But your safety might be in danger here. So I want you to take all the precautions you can to be safe as a normal person, not as a future hero”

They smiled against his chest and nodded, feeling safe and sound in Iida’s arms

“Alright. Now let’s get to the school so we can get you a dorm over there and you can move out as quickly and efficiently as possible”

They nodded and got ready, ready to start a new better life and leave this one behind, like they should have done long ago

185 notes · View notes

pinesconessecrets · 5 years

Text

Ice to Meet You

Merry Christmas @ladynightmare12 ! I hope you enjoy the fic!! <: I had a lot of fun with the soulmate AU, since it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. I combined it with the first meetings AU too. Have a great Christmas! <3

****

Wirt had given up on trying to find his soulmate when he was thirteen. He still remembered the conversation that came after he mentioned it to his mom. She had choked on her tea, wheezing until she’d managed to regain control of herself again. Then began the spiel about, “Oh, sweetie. You’ll meet her at some point in your life, don’t give up now!” and Wirt just sighed. Internally, of course. He didn’t want to upset his mom any further. A good bit of everyone in his grade had found their soulmate, leaving Wirt feeling terribly alone. Sara tried to comfort him, except she ran into her soulmate a few months later; it was some guy named Brian. That was a fun day.

He was a little more than relieved to graduate high school, which meant moving away to a college in a different state. A college in Oregon had caught his eye and he applied, half expecting to get denied. But lo and behold, the college actually accepted him and even had a full ride scholarship too.

Greg was against Wirt moving across the country when he broke the news. Wirt reassured him that he would call every day and keep in touch. He wouldn’t be left out just because Wirt didn’t live in the same house anymore.

Wirt enjoyed the trip to Oregon. His parents rented a small u-Haul for the stuff Wirt could take to put in his dorm. He was lucky enough to score a single person room, complete with his own bathroom. He didn’t think he could have managed if he had to share a dorm and a bathroom, much less having to suffer from public bathrooms.

They made the drive out to be like a mini vacation, taking their time since they left a few days early. Wirt’s nerves almost got the best of him a few times, the realization of him living somewhere that wasn’t with his mom and stepdad. Thankfully Greg managed to quickly distract him before he grew too anxious, eerily able to quickly figure out when his nerves were beginning to act up.

With the help of everyone, it didn’t take long before Wirt’s room was set up. He still had a few things to tweak here and there, like moving his desk closer to the window and hanging up his poems on the walls. He didn’t have much time to be particularly picky about how his room was set up with his parents and brother around.

They stayed in town for a few days, exploring the place with Wirt in tow. It definitely was a college town considering the absurd amount of fast food restaurants around. Like seriously, who needed this many fast food places? At least there were a few cafes for Wirt to hang out in. Cafes were pretty sweet places to chill at and they had a great effect on Wirt when it came to writing poetry. He was excited about that.

Tears were shed by his mom and Greg on the day they had to leave. Greg made Wirt promise to call him every day, and that was a rock fact. Wirt lingered in the parking lot for a bit longer than he intended, staring off into space before letting out a long sigh. He hoped he would be able to survive the semester before Christmas break. His next adventure in life had begun, only to bring challenges he had no way to prepare for.

Wirt got to studying diligently when the semester began. The majority of his classes were the core classes every freshman were required to take, including math. Thank god that he only needed to take two semesters of it due to his major in English. Math was one of his most detested classes; it was the worst. Maybe he was being overly dramatic, but Wirt would rather prefer to listen to someone scrape their nails on a chalkboard repeatedly for hours than be stuck in math class for even an hour. The entire point was above him, and the fact that other kids were majoring in math just blew his mind. They were to be feared.

The semester started out slow but picked up steam as the weeks went on. Midterms came and went, letting Wirt breathe a sigh of relief when his passing grades were posted.

He video called Greg before he went out trick or treating on Halloween, both happy and mortified that Greg decided to go as a garden gnome. Their trip to the Unknown was still very present in their minds years after it happened. At least now it was easier to deal with, and they didn’t have to worry about being sent into a fit of panic when winter rolled around anymore. Wirt admitted that Greg wore the outfit far better than he did, earning a protest of “No, you wore it better!” from Greg. They bickered back and forth until their mom told them to knock it out or else Greg wouldn’t be getting any candy that year. That shut Greg up and he hastily told Wirt goodbye and that he’d show him how much candy he got before going to bed.

Wirt found himself growing progressively more stressed as the end of the semester rolled around. His professors shoved study guides down their student’s throats and made it very clear that passing their finals would make or break their grades. Wirt found himself spending more and more time at his favorite cafe. He would have been surprised that he hadn’t drunk all of their tea if he wasn’t so stressed about passing his finals.

A week before finals, the unthinkable happened.

Wirt was on his way to the Jasmine Brew Cafe, lost in thought about his upcoming math final. It was the one he dreaded the most, and rightfully so. Other students in his class struggled as much as he did. The professor didn’t know how to break down the lesson so other kids could understand what he was trying to teach. Wirt barely managed to understand what the heck he was talking about most the time, and he hoped it would be enough.

Of course, the dork was so lost in thought that he wasn’t watching where he was walking. His foot made contact with frozen ice on the sidewalk, causing him to slip and fall down to the pavement. Wirt miraculously held onto his notebooks, laying on his back, winded from his fall.

Someone with unruly brown hair peered down at him with a look of mild concern. Wirt wished he could turn invisible because he knew that everyone around him saw what just happened.

“Hi there. It’s ice to meet you finally.” The other boy paused, before continuing. “I hope that’s not weird? I’ve seen you around campus before and I noticed you were always alone and I was going to say hi but I always got distracted and oh my god I’m sorry I’m kinda rambling. I tend to do that a lot and my sister always punches me and yep I’m gonna shut up now.”

Wirt’s wrist burned. That was what his stupid soulmate mark said. ‘Hi there, it’s ice to meet you finally.’

He wanted to say something witty back, but all that could come out of his mouth was, “Was that a motherfucking pun?” He rarely cussed, but dangit he was sleep deprived and angry that he was stupid enough to fall and slip on ice.

The other boy blanched, his extended hand frozen in shock. Wirt shuffled to his feet, clutching his notebooks to his chest. An awkward silence enveloped the two, only to be broken by the other boy.

“Do you want to go somewhere warm? Get some coffee or something?”

Wirt broke free of his surprise. “Uh, um, sure. I was heading to the Jasmine Brew Cafe to get some studying done. It’s right up the street here.”

“Cool. I’ve only been there once or twice, so lead the way.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at Wirt expectantly.

“Right.” Wirt turned on his heels and began walking to the cafe, fidgeting with the spiral of a notebook. He knew that he was probably acting slightly like a jerk. Okay, a lot like a jerk. He had spent the majority of his teenage years resenting the idea of soulmates, knowing he’d never find his and that he’d live the rest of his life alone. But look what happened. He ran into his soulmate.

The rush of warm air made Wirt feel grateful for heating, heading to his usual spot by the wall. He sat with his back to the wall, and a large window to his left. Being able to look out into the street helped declutter his mind.

He almost relaxed, until the other boy - his soulmate - slid into the chair across from him. He looked as nervous as Wirt was.

“I’m Dipper, by the way. I don’t think I introduced myself yet.”

“Wirt. It’s um, nice to meet you, I guess,” he mumbled, his awkwardness hitting him like a fricking train. Now that the fact that yep, him finding his soulmate was a thing, was starting to sink in, a feeling of panic also begun to set in too.

“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re freaking out there a little. I mean, I’m kinda freaking out too, but that’s because I’m super pumped to have finally run into my soulmate.” Dipper looked giddy almost.

Wirt chewed on a nail. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. It’s just… I gave up on finding my soulmate years ago, so I never thought I would actually run into them. I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk or anything because oh my god I feel so bad for being cold to you.”

When Dipper was silent, Wirt looked up to find him holding back a snicker. With the biggest shit eating grin, Dipper replied, “Was that a motherfucking pun?”

“Oh my god.” Wirt groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Do not use my own words against me.”

“Kinda hard to considering they’re right here.” Dipper rolled his sleeve back, revealing the words scrawled across his arm. God, they were even in Wirt’s own handwriting. How crazy was that?

Wirt reached out to touch the words on Dipper’s arm, stopping short once he realized what he was about to do. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in. But I don’t mind if you wanna take a closer look at them.” His voice was quiet.

Figuring that he may as well roll with the punches, Wirt pulled his own sleeve back, exposing Dipper’s godawful pun written on the inside of his forearm. Dipper didn’t hesitate before running his fingers over Wirt’s pale skin, tracing the scratchy letters of his own handwriting. It looked different from his own, his letters rushed and hurried versus the flowing loops of Wirt’s.

Wirt finally caved and traced the words on Dipper’s arm. The two dorks sat in silence, no words needing to be exchanged as they let the importance of the day truly sink in.

The corners of Dipper’s mouth quirked up in a grin after a while. “So, did you wanna get a coffee and chat? And maybe tell me how you’ve bean all these years.”

Wirt had a feeling the puns weren’t ever going to stop.

#Pinescone #Pinescone Secret Santa #Pinescone Secret Santa 2018 #Wirt #Dipper #OTGW #GF #submission

15 notes · View notes

himbosims · 5 years

Photo

The Simself Challenge? Is that what this is called? I have no idea. . .

The challenge is basically to make a simself then answer a fuck ton of question so here we are. Thanks @willowbomb and @sim-borg for tagging me. I’ll tag: whoever wants to do this because idk who hasn't done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Taylor

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? My childhood nickname was Tot. My friends call me d*ke and slut though so hey

3. BIRTHDAY? July 23, 2001

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Series definitely The Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Artifacts by Cassandra Clare

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Both i think, definitely aliens. I don't fuck with ghosts and all that because I don't want to die

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Right now my favs are Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Where I live we have five stations, one that plays music from the 30’s all the time, three country, and one that says it plays pop but ends up playing country anyways. So, none.

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Idk man, thats a loaded question. Probably vanilla

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? ??? lit… idk dude I was trying to think of something that's weird but I can't think of anything

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Be My Mistake by The 1975 or Not Warriors by Waterparks

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Serious answer, lunacy (there's a reason its my username) not as serious, I just heard someone outside yell for the chillin’s and I started laughing because that word is great

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? I’m currently listening to From Eden by Hozier

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Shameless, Glee, Shadowhunters, Grey’s. I could go on.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Obviously

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Spiders and needles

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? nothing

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Everything, in seriousness, my selfishness or narcissism,

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats are my favorites but dogs are cool

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Never have been

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? NOT AS MUCH STRESS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Irl- my friend EJ. Online- @hallowiamshebsims

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Read 23

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Read 23

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Read 23

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I don't remember the last time I was excited for something

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Writing I think

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Hannah Montana, Ned Declassified, Drake and Josh, Flapjack, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Chowder, Rugrats. I'm a true early Gen Z kid

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My girl best friend, I dont tell him everything because i'm a secretive bitch

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Nah

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Read 16

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing, reading, creating imaginary worlds to live in

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I am almost done with History Is All You Left me by Adam Silvera and oh boy that book

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Paranorman: “You’re gonna love my boyfriend, he’s like a total chick flick nut.”

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? N/A

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hallowiamshebsims @simmerberlin @willowbomb @pollinationqueen @gunthermnch

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? The ability to always have the money to pay for things

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? My room probably

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? People falling down, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJq4jWSQNd

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? That’s cute

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I have two teachers that are really weird about phones and talking in class so we pass notes instead

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? LOUD EATERS

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I went to a christian concert when I was like 5 so there's that

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope, I live in the south how do you expect me to not eat meat

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Teacher since I live in the south and that's the only jobs beside retail or waitress in my town

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Shadow World, but I wanna be a warlock, not a dumb shadowhunter lol

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m afraid of what's in the dark, which is a hard ass way to say yes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? All the time but im tone deaf so its bad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? If I was sick, yeah. Other than that, I did twice. Once because I had a really bad panic attack right before the bus got to my house and I called my mom claiming I was really sick, and once a few weeks ago because my dog got sprayed by a skunk therefore making me smell like a skunk

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? uhhhhhhh

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? New York City, LA, San Francisco, Toronto, Portland, London. Any big city to be honest

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A dog and three cats

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I sometimes stay up super late and sometimes i'm up really early. And if I can actually force myself out of bed I can get a lot done in either of those times

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Yeah but im gay so its not good driving l

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Everything that wont break in a week

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I don't really have a favorite, I listen to all kinds of stuff

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Uhhhhh, Deadpool, or Spiderman

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Nope

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? It takes a lot to make me angry but when im angry it's bad and I forget what i do when i was angry so i don't really know

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Creative Writing

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Younger sister, younger step brother

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A starbucks coffee last night

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’7 or something

75. CAN YOU COOK? Depends on what i'm cooking

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Books, music, friends

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Racists, homophobes, sexists- so basically most the people in my town (hell what am i kidding, this side of the Mason-Dixon line)

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? One of each

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? I am on the ace spectrum and I am panromantic

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? ‘Merica the brave

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Sheb

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like, yesterday

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? CallMeKevin RTGame The Shane Dawson squad

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sometimes

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?I guess this hell site

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?My mom and I are kinda close, i don't really talk to my dad much (even though I live with him half the week)

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Aussie, British, Scottish, Irish… all of them

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Everywhere that’s not my state and the ones touching it

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 23

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? notta

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, but not crazy religious. I just believe in fate and that there is some type of higher power

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Nasa bitch

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? I have an issue with adrenaline. As in, although i am an anxious person with too much adrenaline anyways I like to do things that give me a rush of adrenaline

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? I can't have my eyes pierced because I'm allergic to metal in the sense of having it in my body

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yep

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Next question

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? I mean netiehr, but i'm not a huge fan of sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? You’ve made it through your worst day before, you can do it again

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think so

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Sytherlin, not surprise

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I’m talking to myself right now

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Nah, my writing is kind alike my diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give people too many chances

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Check the ID, maybe take the money and leave it in a bush or something. I don’t know

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? For sure

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Please don’t tickle me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Read question 94

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane, but young Alec because I can't be friends with 27 year old Alec

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Scared of needles, remember?

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Doing things for me

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? YES

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Not really but if my future partner wants some i’d be open to talk about it

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My ex-best friend. I used to hate how she never had to try to get good grades or be good at things, she just was

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? All my memories are embarrassing if you look close enough

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? At least twice a month

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Nutruels and black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Sure

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I think I wa son the news once

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I have a lot, “Words have the power to change us.” “perhaps it is because of time that we suffer.” “I remain a work in progress until I die.” “The thing you are most afraid to write, write that.” I could go on

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet

#long post #simself #ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #ls:edit #tagged

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buckymcbuttfacebarnes · 6 years

Text

Calamity (1/?)

pairing: erik killmonger x reader (mythology/modern au)

summary: Metamorphose, one of the many parts of this story, encompasses the beginnings of Erik’s changes.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: none!

a/n: alright you guys, so a couple of y’all liked the little preview that i gave for this fic idea, so i think it would be a good idea if i sort of explained how i plan on writing this. i think the plot is going to be nonlinear/chronological, there’s going to be a lot of flashbacks and stuff like that. also later on it’ll start to flip perspectives quite a bit, just to give you background on the main characters, but for these first couple parts they’re gonna focus more on erik, just so i can establish his dilemma, character flaws, etc.!! also, in the summary section of each part i write, i’ll come up with a sub-heading (for example, this one is called Metamorphose, which is written with the purpose of getting to know erik’s changes and the exposition of the story) that i’ll use for future parts that are within the same period or serve the same purpose!! lmao i hope that make sense, i think it will, once im able to get more parts out!!!!!! sorry this is so long omg but thank yall for taking the time to read<333

Her breath hitched in her throat as he stared deep into her eyes. She felt exposed, as if those blazing eyes were looking into her soul. She averted her gaze, but she could still feel his fiery gaze setting her skin aflame. He looked her up and down, she could feel those eyes pricking at her skin like needles, a sensation that raked up and down her body once, twice, three times before his eyes made their way, slowly, back up to her face. They both knew she wanted to cry out. They both knew no one would hear.

“Look at me.” His own voice sounded foreign to him. Gruff and venomous.

A pause. Her gaze averted downward. In her peripheral she could see a slow traveling pool of blood. Flood of panic. She didn’t look to find the source.

“Look at me!” He boomed.

Suddenly her head snapped upward, unwillingly. There was twenty feet of empty space between them, but she saw the fire in his eyes as if he were standing directly in front of her. His upper body rose and fell vehemently with his heavy breathing, nostrils flaring. With one outstretched hand he pulled her closer, her bare feet slipped and slid across the floor as she tried to stop herself.

His dark chuckle echoed loudly, bouncing around the bare walls, reverberating through her skull, sending cold shivers down her spine. She looked around frantically, her arms bound by invisible chains, her feet skimming across the cool floor in her struggle. He felt her fear, but instead of deterring him he felt fueled by it. He wanted to see her squirm. His outstretched hand rose an inch, he fist slowly closing. Her eyes grew wide with panic, her body writhing in the invisible chains. “Erik!” she choked out in between her gasps for air.

“Getting hard to breathe?” his brow lifted, fingers curling into a tight fist for a flash of a moment before he released completely. As his hand dropped to his side, her body dropped to the ground in a crumpled, defeated heap, unmoving aside from the rise and fall of each breath. He looked at her stonily, his expression unchanging.“Get up,” he ordered.

Her head lifted, her head turning slowly from one side to the next, surveying the room. Death saturated the air, contaminating the large space with its metallic scent. “You’re a monster,” she spat.

Erik awoke with a gasp, sitting upwards abruptly, a wave of nausea passing through him. He hadn’t even realized how tightly clenched his fists were until he reached up to run his hands over his face. Pain in the shape of half moons dissolved in his palms. His eyes burned from the sunlight flooding in through the blinds.

Instinctively he reached for notepad and pen that he had strategically placed on his nightstand and began to scribble down everything he could recollect of the dream: pain, fear, death, anger, empty, crazed. His pen was itching to write more, his hand shook, his mind was racing - searching for words, phrases, letters, symbols... He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to recreate the dream in his mind. He blanked. His futile attempts to conjure up the images that had filled his head not even ten minutes before left his mind a blank canvas. An empty white space. The heat of frustration rushed through him, made his fingers twitch. The involuntary motion resulted in a whoosh of air and the subsequent sharp slaps of his pad of paper and pen flying across the room and striking the wall, then the hardwood floor.

This wasn’t the first time this has happened. Four times already this week. Today’s incident made twenty-seven in the past month and a half. The strange dream plagued his sleep, he cannot be sure if it’s the same one each night because he can’t ever remember it fully in the morning. It’s always fragmented and foggy. It ends at the same point. The woman calls him a monster and though he’s had the dream so many times, he wakes up the same way: disoriented, anxious, afraid. The dream itself wasn’t frightening. The vividness and the familiarity of it all is what he found most terrifying. He could feel himself losing control, he could feel himself hurting this woman (whose appearance is completely unknown to him, he only knows she is a woman because of the sound of her voice). He could feel her pain, both physically and emotionally, yet he couldn’t stop himself from hurting her every single time.

The first few times he longed to see the ending, so he would try to fall back asleep upon waking up, in hopes of continuing the nightmare. Perhaps if he got to the end, it would leave him alone. That never worked. After about the sixth time, he had noticed how much the dream had affected him. He had become an anxiety-ridden mess, fearing that perhaps the rage he experienced in the dream was living inside him currently, dormant and waiting to be awakened. It was impossible for him to live with himself.

The fifteenth time occurred in the break room at work.

Seated at a table with a coworker, who would not stop badgering him about going golfing “or something” together, the dream pulled yanked him into the large room with the marble floors. He was gone and didn’t know how to get back. He was paralyzed, only able to listen and feel as his body and mouth moved without his consent.

With a sharp intake of breath he had woken up on his back, staring up at the foggy fluorescent lights of the breakroom.

“Oh—holy shit!” Someone gasped.

He sat up, supported by the hand of one of his coworkers on this middle of his back. Erik winced, a sharp pain striking him behind the eyes.

“Erik? Hey? Are you okay?”

He grunted in response, heaving breath after breath to calm the ache in his head. “What happened?”

“You froze up on me and you fell out of your chair. I thought you had passed out. Your eyes were open.”

“You weren’t breathing, you had no pulse!” A female voice frantically exclaimed, her shrill tone made him wince again.

“You should be dead!”

He refused to go to the hospital with the EMTs that arrived two minutes later.

After that incident he’d felt unsafe in his own body, he questioned whether he should see a specialist of some kind. Out of fear of being told he was losing his mind, he refrained.

He rose from his bed, inhaling and exhaling deeply to settle his abundance of thoughts. He stood in his bathroom. Though he knew he was looking at himself in the mirror, the face that stared back at him was unrecognizable. The man in the mirror, though he shared the same muscular build and same facial features as Erik, looked alarmingly crazed. His eyes were that of a wild animal, darting around every few seconds as if he were living in a constant state of paranoia. Who is this man? Erik asks himself. He’s not me. They stared at one another for a long time, Erik and this unknown man. In his mind, he knew it was him (it had to be, right? they shared the same features...who else could it be?), but there was something deep inside the man’s eyes that told him otherwise.

He washed his face with cold water, it cooled his flushed skin and helped to soothe his frayed nerves. He met his own gaze once again in the mirror, and was very surprised to see the unknown man smiling back at him. Was he smiling? His expression shifted into one of bewilderment, his felt his shoulders sag with worry—cowering at the sight of this ominous alternate version of himself. Suddenly he felt small, and afraid. His reflection remained the same, a secretive smile perched upon its lips. Panicked, Erik’s hand flew up to touch his own face. An anxious cloud settled over him when his reflection did not mime his movements. Instead it stood tall, back erect, brown eyes glazed over with a familiar haze. The reflection was not his own. As he stared into those vacant eyes, he felt a small tug. It was like someone was trying to undo the knot that had formed in his stomach. Gently the force tugged. He didn’t try to fight it. He didn’t want to. Perhaps it was curiosity...perhaps it was out of sheer exhaustion, but Erik felt himself slipping away and he didn’t try to stop. Those eyes were tempting him with something…

But what? Almost immediately after the inquiry had formulated in Erik’s mind, he felt a surge of invigoration. New life had been breathed into him and coursed through his veins. This unknown force bloomed within his chest and for a moment he swore he had the world at his fingertips. His heart raced and grew light in his chest as his sorrow and fear dissolved, replaced with feelings of enlightenment and shocking omnipotence. This lasted a mere few seconds. As his breathing subsided and his pounding heartbeats grew a little slower and a little quieter, he knew what he had just experienced could only be the feeling of pure, unrestrained power. He wanted all of it.

let me know what yall think!! all criticism/comments r very much appreciated!

y’all asked to be tagged so here u go<3333

@gucci-zjm @groovybbyyy @mykingdomismyheaven

#erik killmonger #killmonger imagine #erik killmonger imagine #erik killmonger fanfic #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik killmonger x reader #erik x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #black panther imagine #black panther fanfiction #marvel imagine #killmonger x reader #erik killmonger x you

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y0u-aint-shit-t0-m3 · 3 years

Text

Journal entries

December 11th 2018

I see no point in anything anymore, i am so lonely and sad. No one likes me and no one cares for me. I get myself into situations that i can't get out out of. I act out on the ones who love me, they shouldn't forgive me, but they do anyways..

I am just a big problem and i am misunderstood. No one knows how i feel half the time, it's so hard to describe. I feel like I couldn't be fixed even if i tired.

I am so unmotivated and lazy, i try to get things done but i get to distracted and pulled into a cold spiral of depression or anxiety. It's hard to do anything now, i am so scared that i will never be good enough or i wont get into college or even get through this year alone.

I need to stop going to others for my own happiness and find it myself. I need to stop getting into relationships just to not feel lonely.

My grades are dropping and i will never get anywhere, all my teachers and friends are disappointed in me and they also think i wont get anywhere either.

Everyone is always worried about me because they think i will cut myself again or try and kill myself. I don't want to die i just want to be happy and be normal.

I’m sick and tired of being so problematic and always sad or tired. But i am always sad and tired and i don't know what to do about it.

I am always so paranoid and it's scary because sometimes i dont know whats real and whats not, sometimes i feel like i'm almost lucid dreaming or in a movie or something. I feel like i'm drifting and something is pulling me back and they won't let go. My mind gets all blurry and i can't focus, i feel like still things are moving on their own.

I feel exhausted on days where i've had a good night's rest, i just dont want to feel like this anymore, it's a living hell. I want to be free from this feeling..

February 27th 2019

it’s a new year.. i thought things would get better but they have gotten worse. i’ve got a new therapist and she’s not helping. i’ve been cutting a lot lately and i’m very scared. sunday i cut very deep, there was a lot of blood. i felt nauseous and sick and the thing that scares me the most is that i thought i was done, i thought that i was gonna bleed out and hours later when it was about dinner time my parents would find me dead. but that didn’t happen i’m here and i’m alive. something that makes me terrified is that the one thing that i go to for release isn’t giving me that adrenaline and satisfaction that i’ve felt before and now i sit here and ask myself what am i gonna go to next, and i’m gonna go to hard drugs or even worse.. suicide.. i don’t want to die but the thing is that i black out when i cut and what if i was to cut to deep and actually bleed out and die. i don’t want that to happen.

while i type this i’m very scared and anxious, i’ve never thought that it would get like this. i would never think i would find myself in my room scared and out of control of my actions with harming myself. just one little accident and it would be all over. i could do it now but i don’t want to. i don’t want to ever die. i need to get my shit together, i know what i need to do to feel happy again but i don’t want to. saddens has consumed me and it’s so damn comfortable. i need to get my shit together, maybe tomorrow maybe in five years but i guess for now i will fake it.

2021 January 13th

I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm in such a deep depression I'm so tired and so exhausted and miserable. The only good thing I have going is my relationship and friends which I good but I want my home life to be okay. I could give a fuck less about school or anything really just so I can feel at home again so I can be happy. Its sucks because I Rely so much on other people's emotions for my own. I can't be happy if everyone else isn't and i wanna fix it I wanna fix the way I feel but how do I do that when no body is listening. I'm 17, I don't have my license or a job, how am I suppose to find tools without having other tools. I need a therapist but they are so backed up even if I do put in an application for one ill be at the bottom of the list and it'll be probably a good month before I get one. I don't know what to do anymore.

February 22 2021

I get it not everything is resolved around me, but what's it going to take for someone to notice I am so fucking alone, that I am constantly fighting with myself constantly fighting to stay alive, always wondering what I'm doing wrong always thinking everyone hates me. It fuckinh exhausting I am so fucking tired I let everyone walk all over me always taking advantage of my empathy. What is wrong with me what am I doing wrong for people to not like me, I hate the fake excuses to not talk to me, I hate the snarky comments and all the glares. I feel like im sinking and everyone else around me is swimming everyone else is floating along while I'm drowning I'm trying to hard to stay up above the water what I know how easy it would be to sink, I want to sink. But what's going to happen if I do sink, will I swim with the fish or will I be eaten up by the sharks. Will this ever end, will I ever stay afloat. Will I ever find the confidence or the strength or the tools to stay alive.

April 11th 2021

Yesterday you expressed to me that your not sure if you want to be with me and how I am pretty to much for you and your not sure if you want a relationship, we laid down and after a couple minutes I told you that 2 years ago today you first told me you loved me which was kinda ironic considering the circumstances. We then had sex, which I insisted only because I knew it would make everything better. You wanted me to go to a party that I really didn't wanna go to but I went because I knew if I didn't I had really lost you. You said so many different things that night how you know you love me and how you care about me but how your mindset tells you otherwise and how you're not attached to me as much as I am to you. You left this morning and I texted you and asked how your day was and ypu ignored me. You said you are going to take me out to eat tonight but I just have this gut feeling that either 1 it's not going to happen or 2 it will and it'll be the last time I see you. I don't know if I can get past this, it hurts way to much. You're my best friend my person love I don't want to lose you I don't want to be alone I don't want to see you with other people. It's Hurts so much and I try and say it's my fault that it hurts so much because I overthink so much and that I just can't except love but I can but I say it's my fault so you won't leave. What else am I going to justify so you won't leave. I can't keep doing this. Maybe its just right person wrong timing, or maybe im just too fucked up to be loved by anyone. And the sad thing is If thinking about you and replaying our memories in my head is the closest thing to having you then I’ll do it no matter what . I’d drop everything to spend time with you but you wouldn’t do the same for me.

June 21st 2021

God what has happened. I've repressed to my old feelings, old playlist, old memories etc.. suicide has been heavy on my brain the past few days, same with self harm and just leaving everything behind and leaving. I feel so lost and helpless and confused into why I am feeling like this again. I cried the other day, the same kind of cry a baby cries when it misses its mother. I have this thought in my head running back and forth of wether I'm okay or I'm not. I'm constantly catching myself spacing off into old memories, like 8th grade. The feeling of being so numb and so tired that nothing could ever fix this feeling like I am so comfortable and so certain that I'm going to feel like this forever. I feel like a zombie. I feel bored. I feel useless. I feel tired, not the sleep tired. Just tired. Tired of pushing and pulling. My brain feels like mush. My body feels heavy and weightless at the same time. My chest feels tight and my eyes feel heavy. I feel comfortably miserable. I miss when I never had to give a shit about anything like school and work and dissipating people. I've done so good lately and held my shit together so well and it's so surprising because deep down I am screaming and begging for a break for someone to say it's okay to feel like shit and have them not be disappointed in me for falling apart. I think about the day I'll let someone read these entries, I think about the day that I'm completely giving up and I release these all over social media. I know that sounds desperate but maybe someone would read these and think maybe there not alone. I feel like I would scare everyone if they knew how I felt. I wonder what I'm feeling is valid of bullshit or maybe its just my hormones or seasonal depression. Or maybe it's just my day to day life. Something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. (Keyword maybe means yes it's your everyday life)

June 22nd 2021

We're on a "break". I don't even know how to feel, I should be crying right now begging you to not leave and to love me and to just change. But I'm not, I'm so calm and unbothered and just numb. I'm so fucking numb. It's like I don't even care it's like im already over it. I guess I wasn't surprised. I don't really have much to say. But I can say this is going to hit me like a train. One little thing, and I think I'm going to snap.

September 8th 2021

I don't think I can keep doing this anymore, I don't think I can keep fighting. I don't want to, I don't want to deal with these feelings. I can't remember the last time I actually felt okay. I want to feel normal again. I am losing myself. I am losing my mind and I am trying so fucking hard to hold on. I feel like a prop in some shitty movie. I feel like I'm just a background character, if that makes any sense. I am constantly scared, I am constantly having these thoughts of hurting myself. I keep dreaming of better days but everyday is just a nightmare. I think of admitting myself somewhere, like sending myself away. Somewhere where I don't have to worry about this shit. Somewhere safe, somewhere there are people like me and understand me.

September 15 2021

I find myself thinking about sending myself away, not because i need to just because i want to. I guess you could say “ need in one hand and want in the other and see which one fills up faster” but i honestly have come to the point where nothing feels real anymore, nothing feels good anymore. Everything hurts everything is scary and everything is unfair. Life is so unfair. Its even worse that i continuously have shitty things happen to me. I have so much untreated trauma that i think im coming to the point where i dont care anymore. I dont care about anything. I don't feel like existing, trying, dealing or fuckinh anything. I can't feel anything, I am so numb. Numb to my core. I am so desperate to feel better. I am going to feel like this forever, I am always going to be a broken person with a broken heart with a broken mindset.

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vladtoly · 7 years

Text

Watching Highways

A/N: I’ve been struggling a lot with myself recently and Newsies has made life somehow more tolerable. I actually have the disorder mentioned in the story, so it is slightly personalized. I took everything listed in the beginning from personal experience.

Also, i’m sorry for the messy naration, it slightly switches from 2nd person to 3rd at a point. I didn’t over read it either so there will be spelling errors.

Enjoy, guys!

Words: 2,039

TW: Bullying , cussing

Tagged: @sincerlyyme

It had always been a problem for you. People would point it out, as if you didn’t know it was there. Make fun of it as if it weren’t part of you. The harassment started at a young age and though it has died, it never fully disappeared.

You were born with nystagmus, which definition wise, is the involuntary rapid movement of the eyes. You had never known how the world looked through stable eyes, you never had the chance. So when people pointed it out when you were just a child, you had no idea what they were talking about. People didn’t see like you? That wasn’t normal?

You ignored their words until it evolved to jabs and strikes. Children could be so cruel and you experienced firsthand just how far they’d go.

When you had entered middle school, your eyes were no longer a problem. Not for everyone else at least. They had the pleasure of forgetting the harmful words they said to you, pushing it into the past with their young ways. You however had picked up the self-conscious habit to never look anyone in the eyes, afraid you’d be shamed for what you couldn’t control.

This habit never quite died, you’d avoid eye contact without even thinking. It was a nasty habit to most, but for you it felt like self-defense. It felt safe.

Entering high school, you became more comfortable with yourself. No one had pointed it out in ages, at least not negatively. Upon the first week of school, you met two boys, Davey and Jack. They noticed your shaky eyes right off the bat, but didn’t even bother to point it out. If it was part of you, they’d just accept it and move on. With this mind set in place, you all quickly became friends. Eventually, you even joined them at the school newspaper, as a writer but also a Newsie, to help pass out the papers to various classes.

Now you sat mid fall semester of your senior year in the news room with fellow Newsies. The papers were just delivered to classes, so now you all had the rest of the period to sit around and talk. You sat between Davey and Race, who had his blonde hair pushed back and held an unlit cigarette between his teeth.

He was quite a sight to see, especially to you considering you’d harbored a crush on him since the beginning of junior year. You knew it was going nowhere though, considering you could barely talk to him.

Davey nudged your shoulder lightly. Turning to him, you saw him smirk and glance at Race, as if pushing you to talk to him. Your face turned red, but you did turn to talk to Race regardless. Maybe it would be easier today.

Race was listening to the conversation between Jack and Crutchie, but put his attention on you when he realized you were looking at him.

He tried to make eye contact with you, which you allowed in order to try and break out of your shell. Smiling softly, you began to feel confident, proud you got past that barrier all on your own. “Hey Race, did you read over the last pap-“

“The fuck is up with your eyes?”

You flinched at the harsh phrase, taken aback. This made things worse for you, seeing as when you were anxious or scared, your eyes would move at a faster pace, making things blurry. Yet years of harassment seemed to flash before your eyes.

“Oh shit, they’s movin’ faster now, ain’t that weird.”

Immediately, you averted your eyes to the floor as you heard conversations around you faltering.

“Race,” you heard Jack warn.

“What?” he replied. “I’s just tryin’ to see-“

He was cut off as your stood up and left the room. The computer lab was silent, all eyes on Race.

He looked around at everyone’s accusatory stares. “What just happened, I do somethin’?”

Davey spoke up instantly, furious. “She has a disorder, you moron, her eyes are always moving. You have no idea how insecure she is about that.”

Race’s heart fell to his stomach. He never meant to hurt you. He knew how he sounded when he said those words, but he was caught off guard. He shouldn’t have said anything at all.

Davey stood up, grabbing his and your backpack. “I’m going to go find Y/N.”

However, Jack stood and took the bag from his hands. Instead, he held it out to Race. “He should do it. It’ll give ‘im the chance to ‘pologize.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Race took the backpack and left on his search for you.

---------

It took him ten or so minutes, but he found you. You sat out in the quad, facing the highway by the school. Watching the cars go by calmed you.

Behind you, you heard the grass rustle. You swiveled around, expecting to see Davey or Jack. You were not prepared to see a certain blonde haired boy, clearly uncomfortable, holding your bag. You raised an eyebrow, but turned back to the highway, hoping he’d leave.

He, instead, sat beside you, throwing your backpack to the space by your feet.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

Silence ensued until Race cleared his throat. “Ya know, I didn’t know youse had anything. I’m real sorry about saying anything, ‘t was never my intention to hurt ya.”

You softened slightly at the statement, but continued to look at the highway. “You didn’t know. It’s fine.”

His hand suddenly took yours and your head snapped to look at him. “It’s not fine though. I wanna understand so I’s can be more considerate to ya.”

A smile adorned your features and you looked back to the highway, your hand not leaving his. “It’s just a birth defect, Race. There’s not much I can do about it. As long as I never acknowledge it, it seems to kind of go away.”

“Can ya get rid o’ it?”

Off put once more, I went to snatch my hand back, but his grip tightened in a panic. “I didn’ ask to be rude, I swears. I like youse the way you are, I do. Just wanna know more.”

Though still slightly shocked, your hand relaxed back into his. “There’s a surgery I can go through with, but there’s always a chance I could go blind. I’d rather have limited vision than none at all.”

He nodded slowly, understanding. His gaze went to the highway with yours, watching the cars speed on.

Without thinking, you leaned into his arm and stared on ahead. He didn’t budge.

“Race?” You felt him hum in response. “You wanna know why I like watching the highway so much?”

He nodded again.

“It’s because for one solid moment, if someone else were to look at it, their eyes wouldn’t be able to focus on anything either.” Sighing, you head leaned on his shoulder. “It’s comforting to me.”

Race didn’t respond, but you knew he was trying to understand. And trying was all you needed.

---------

Weeks had passed since the incident and Race seemed to be doing all he could to make for his small screw up. He’d bring you coffee in the morning, get you lunch, help with your stories for the paper- he was going above and beyond.

You waved bye to him, promising to see him at lunch, when Davey caught up with you.

“So how’re you and Race?” he asked.

Laughing, you lifted your bag onto your shoulder. “We’re fine I guess. Someone’s gotta tell him all is forgiven though; I can’t believe he still feels guilty over something that happened a month ago.”

Davey’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You think all this is about that? No, no, Y/N, he likes you.”

You shook you head, taking his arm and dragging him to the side of the hallway. “No he doesn’t.”

“I don’t know how you can’t see it. He’s practically falling you around like a puppy.”

Your face flushed and you looked around the hall, everyone hurrying past each other. Smiling at Davey, you squeezed his shoulder. “I need to get to class. I’ll see you in Newspaper.”

You barely paid attention in your classes, too focused on what Davey said.

When arriving at lunch, you scanned the room for the other Newsies’.

“Who’re you looking for, freak?”

Oscar DeLancey. Hesitantly, you turned to see him standing with Morris. A cruel smirk was on his face, growing when he noticed your deer-in-the-headlights expression. “I can see why you can’t see the others. I bet you can hardly see anything with eyes like that.”

The boys were now next to you, Morris taking his turn to speak. “Good thing too. Otherwise, she’d have to see that ugly mug of hers.”

You were going to tell them to leave you alone, maybe even just run away. Before you could do either, Morris was pushed backwards, running into his brother.

Race stood in front of you now, a protective stance before you. “Wanna say that again, Morris?”

Morris strut himself forward, mere inches away from Race. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Race tackled him to the ground, landing a punch straight to his right cheek. Oscar went to grab him, but thankfully, Jack and a few of the other boys ran to pull Race back. It didn’t matter at that point- Race got what he wanted.

He calmed down and walked back to you, taking your arm to lead you out of the cafeteria. He gave a final look behind him, a warning to anyone else who wanted to mess with you. Then he continued to lead you out.

You both ended up in the Newspaper room, it being empty other than the Apple desktops scattered in rows. Race let go of you once the door shut behind you, going to sit on one of the tables. He avoided looking at you, instead staring at his hands.

You sat silently next to him. “Why’d you do that?”

He let out a short, harsh laugh. “He ain’t allowed to say that stuff ‘bout you. No one is.”

“I can take care of myself, Race, you know that. You can stop doing things for me too, all is forgiven, you know.”

He suddenly sat up and looked over at you. “I ain’t doing this to make up for nothin’, Y/N. I’m doing it ‘cause-“ He stopped then.

The room sat silent, but Davey’s words from earlier rang loudly in your eyes. Somehow, you knew what was coming next, and you weren’t complaining.

Softly, you nudged his shoulder with your own. “Go on.”

He looked over your now happy expression. Realization crossed his face and he sighed, covering his face with his hands. “Which o’ the boys told ya?”

“Davey. I didn’t believe him actually.”

Race turned his body to face yours. The old him was back as he smirked down at you. “Well, I think I can prove youse wrong.”

“I’d love it if you did.”

A perfect moment was made as his lips softly brushed yours. For such a loud character, he seemed hesitant, almost afraid to touch you. Taking matters into your own hands, you put your hands on either side of his face and turned your head to deepen the kiss. This gave him the permission he needed. He placed his hands on your waist, pulling your body flush to his. Your hands moved from his cheeks to his hair, running them through the soft tresses. The smell of cigarettes and cheap cologne filled your senses, something you knew you could easily get addicted to.

Before Race could attempt to take it further, you pulled away. He groaned at the loss of contact, leaning his forehead on yours.

“You know I can protect myself, right?”

“ ‘ts more fun if I do it.”

You laughed. “Whatever you say, Race.”

His right hand went to your face, softly brushing the pad of his thumb across your cheek. “I think youse is perfect, all o’ ya. No one gets ta say differn’.”

Words couldn’t express your happiness. Instead, you ran your hand through Race’s hair once more and reconnected your lips.

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