#hopefully it's at least somewhat enjoyable. I guess this could go out to all the monsterfuckers following this blog.

[accirax]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 7)

Alright, time for another power ranking... in space? Looks like it's going to be all stars for our All Stars. There, now if they don't make that joke in the episode, I've made it for them.

In case you haven't seen my previous power rankings ( 5 | 6 ), the Power Ranking Format is essentially a way of ranking how well each player is doing in the game. So, in essence, this is a long form way of predicting who I think will be eliminated from the competition in the next episode. There will be spoilers for last week's episode (obviously) and its power ranking, so make sure to read that first if you don't want to be spoiled on how I ranked our last boot. If you want more clarification on the rules, that first post will help you out as well. Furthermore, I'm going to be spoiling the preview for next episode, so if you want to go in TOTALLY blind, save this for later. Let's go!

Recap - Fiore's Elimination

Current Point Total: 18 acquired/29 possible

So. That was sad.

And I mean that purely from a point of my personal enjoyment, not a critique of the writing. I feel like I've seen some people claim that Fiore's elimination was a bad move writing-wise, and while I respect their opinion, I can't say I entirely agree. I still think that believing Fiore could be this season's winner wasn't a completely ridiculous idea-- the main reason why I thought that could be the case is because she was framed as sympathetic as compared to Hunter, as opposed to in S1 where she was a full villain. I still think that Ashley's attitude regarding Fiore is... a bit misguided, given that the only "revenge" she has to get on Fiore is for Fiore outsmarting her in the game of smarts.

However, in retrospect, even if Fiore reunited with Alec, I'm not really sure what she would be doing for the rest of the season that wouldn't just be a total retread of her prior content. If Fiore and Alec quickly regrouped and became allies again, then they would play the rest of the contestants in the exact same way they did in S1. If they didn't regroup, or even did on only tentative terms, then they wouldn't have the numbers, and Fiore likely would have been eliminated shortly anyways. Knowing what I know now, Fiore seems like one of those characters who has the edit to be the winner, but not the actual social standings to make it that far. I will still absolutely miss my favorite character, but she already got her chance to shine in S1, and I can always rewatch that if I want to see her dominate again.

As for my predictions... well, I'm really talented at putting the boot in 9th place, huh? I mean, it gets closer and closer to accurate every time, so I can't really complain. What's interesting to me is that what I did correctly totally flipped between Connor and Fiore. For Connor, I was correct in assessing that Yellow had bad vibes, but did a terrible job determining who on Yellow would get axed. For Fiore, I was totally wrong in predicting a Cyan tribal, but at least I managed to determine which member of Magenta would go home if they did face elimination. Hopefully next time, I'll be able to synthesize the good points as opposed to tripping into both of my pitfalls. Although, I'm a little worried...

Trailer Analysis

... Because, what the hell is this preview? Don't get me wrong: the episode looks really fun, and I'm super excited for it! But, in terms of content, I'm having a hard time discerning anything of note. Let's see what we can get out of this trailer.

So, obvious starting point; this episode is space themed. I'm guessing that the teams all have to race to these escape pods, completing challenges along the way. The outfits look great, and I'm very impressed by the number of outfits per character they're introducing this season. Keeping their 2D riggers in business, I suppose...? The outfits seem to be at least somewhat inspired by Star Trek, although, I think there's actually a bigger inspiration behind this episode that I haven't personally seen anyone else mention yet...

This episode seems to be really inspired by Among Us??? I only played the game, like, once, so I could be totally off. But, there appear to be many, many challenges that mirror Among Us' minigames. Here's Ally swiping a card...

Here's a door quite similar to the doors in... at least some maps? (Tom is holding a tablet, which we also see Ally and Jake fighting over, that may report each team's tasks).

There are multiple scenes depicting what appear to be a power outage, which is something that happens periodically in the game. Jake is fixing it, just like a crewmate would(?).

I think that you usually fix wires instead of cutting them in Among Us, but the similarity still stands. This is the Among Us episode. If the eliminated character gets fucking ejected I swear to god--

This arcade setting intrigues me because, as far as I know, arcades are common to neither Among Us or Star Trek. That could mean that this arcade was placed here for a highly specific Disventure Camp reason. Is it here to distract Ally? Can players flunk the challenge to find an advantage within the machines? Or are there just particular tasks/games that they wanted to throw in this episode that needed to be at an arcade?

The fact that we see Derek but NOT Trevor in this trailer intrigues me. It's quite possible that Trevor was fully left behind on Earth, and Krystal only recruited Derek for this space mission. Talk about being worlds apart.

Aiden and Jake will have a chat, albeit possibly only briefly. Were they separated from their teams by something? It looks like Jake might be trying to make amends (given that, if Tom "has a boyfriend," Tom definitely isn't into Aiden either), but Aiden is still hesitant to believe in/work with him. Notably, this is during the power outage.

Tom reads from a piece of paper in the arcade, which could fit with the idea that there's some special game/challenge that can only be completed in the arcade. I don't even want to know what Ellie would do with a totem at this point (/pos).

Like I alluded to earlier, Ally and Jake are definitely fighting in this episode. I'll talk more about my theories on that in both of their sections (and probably Ashley's as well).

These two continue to be iconic. I'm SO here for it, honestly.

"I knew it... I knew it! We're all gonna die...!"

Back to Among Us for a moment, one major aspect of that game is the Imposter; the traitor hidden amongst the cast trying to kill them all. Aiden's quote here could easily be in regards to a role like that existing within DC. Then again, I really have no idea how they would implement that. Would the Imposter be one of the contestants, and, if so, does that person get any additional advantages or protections in tribal? If that is the case, then I guess I'd predict that Grett or Ellie might be the Imposter, just because we didn't see a whole lot of them in the trailer. Or, could the Imposter be someone more like Trevor or Nina? That would make more sense from a fairness angle, but neither of them could really pretend to be a contestant and get away with it, as far as I'm aware.

Another really interesting thing about this preview is that, as far as I can tell, every single scene comes from the challenge. If the losing team does stick around on the ship to eject someone, then it's possible that some scenes are sneakily from after the challenge has ended. Still, there's not a single shot of camp. I wouldn't be surprised if the episode cold opens on the challenge, with the campers "waking up" on the spaceship and having no idea how they got there. At the very least, the challenge is going to take up a HUGE chunk of the episode.

The fact that we can't really tell what's part of the challenge and what's not makes it really hard to tell which team would wind up losing, and, to an extent, which relationships are going to receive particular focus. Even though I was wrong last time, I at least thought I had a leading theory on which team could lose the ball challenge. This trailer gives me no inclinations as to whether Cyan, Magenta, or Yellow is headed to tribal. Therefore, a lot of my analysis will likely be based off of who I think is most likely to make it to the merge, with that based on what story lines they have to expand upon in a merged setting. We have to be merging pretty soon, right...?

This will be a challenge. I'll try my best!

Power Ranking

#1: Ashley

In my mind, Ashley is 100% safe in this upcoming episode. I’ve already said that I think Ashley will make the merge this time, and I still believe that’s true. For Ashley to even be viable for elimination, Magenta would have to cut themselves down to TWO PEOPLE, which seems pretty unlikely on the writers' end. And, even if they did, with the way that the preview shows Jake and Ally, I find it really difficult to believe that the two of them would suddenly work together to eliminate the person that both of them feel closer to. More likely, in a Magenta tribal, it would come down to who Ashley feels more comfortable moving forward with… and Ashley obviously feels comfortable working with herself. No riding off into the sunset yet.

#2: Alec

Pretty much everything I said last week about Alec still holds true this week, because the Yellow tribe’s dynamics didn’t change much between this week and the last. If anything, Alec’s situation possibly got getter, because 1) he proved that he’s useful in challenges, and 2) he grew closer to Riya, to the point that she’s more of a genuine ally than just “not already in a pair.” I guess those strengths could also be reasons to target him, but now that Riya probably prefers Alec to Grett and Yul, the trio turning on him feels even more unrealistic.

#3: Tom

Tom really just keeps ping-ponging across my list, doesn’t he? Well, this time his move is motivated by the spicy content revealed in last week’s episode. Tom has a boyfriend! … Or, more likely, he doesn’t. In either case, wouldn’t it would be sort of weird to have him sent home without ANY further development on that plot line?

Okay, fine, that’s not entirely fair. Tom explaining why he ignored Jake throughout this game so far could theoretically be his swan song before clearing the stage for Jake and Aiden to have beef without him. However, I’m, like, 99% sure that Tom made up that boyfriend on the spot, and if THAT’S the case, it would be weird for him to go home without ever facing the consequences of his actions, whether or not Jake is there with him.

Tom also lost the whole “regretful, I’m going to ask to be sent home because I feel so badly about how I treated Jake these past few years” angle that I thought he might’ve had last episode. That puts Tom back in a safer spot for as long as he has Aiden as a shield. I don’t think he’s going home anymore, so he’s here.

#4: Tess

There’s still a possibility that Tess could get caught in the “indecision results in elimination” sinkhole, but now that Tess knows that Ellie is part of the villains alliance (and didn’t tell her), I have a hard time believing that the choice would be so impossible for her. The thing that was swaying her towards Ellie's side was not wanting to ruin her outside-of-game friendship with Ellie, so if she believes that Ellie is backtracking on that already, she'd be less likely to remain loyal.

Furthermore, her little moment with Ally last episode could be considered enough content for a justified elimination, but... was it, really? They talked for, like, thirty seconds, and not even about themselves. Now that Hunter has been eliminated, All Stars is wide open with opportunities for Tess and Ally to bond without their relationship hinging around Hunter. Their one conversation so far has still mostly been about Hunter, so eliminating Tess here would sadly close that door. Losing Ally would obviously close that door too, but... uh...

#5: Ally

Here’s my declaration that, in case of a Magenta tribal, I think that Ashley would very likely flip on Jake to work with Ally.

The preview seems to foreshadow Jake acting pretty childishly next episode. He’s bickering with Ally, presumably still over who is Ashley’s closest comrade. (If the episode starts with everyone waking up in space, I wonder if Ashley and Jake won’t get to have their conversation before the challenge begins.) Given all of the allusions to Among Us, I would really suspect that Ally is going to be an MVP of this particular challenge. Therefore, if the team loses, it would be a direct result of Jake’s insecurities dragging their team down. That kind of behavior, in my opinion, could sway Ashley’s mind.

Ally’s elimination here continues to feel pretty random to me. I know I was wrong when I claimed that Connor wouldn’t go home from the Yellow team because his elimination would be too clear cut… but Ally still feels the same way to me now! It's hard to get around that assumption! Aaaaaaaa!

#6: Grett

Placing Grett ANYWHERE feels bad to me, because, in my opinion, there are mildly compelling reasons for her character to stay or go.

First, my reasons why I think Grett could be eliminated. Mostly, there's just a part of me that feels like she's the most expendable member of the Yellow Team left. Alec, Riya, and Yul still seem like they all have Big Villain Things left to do, and as the least villainous of the quartet, there might not be room for Grett moving forward. As I said before, I can better imagine Yul's character without Grett than Grett's character without Yul.

There are also some other oddities I've been noticing as I've retreaded s1 via Silly Billy's interviews. Grett and Gabby's relationship was, like, really important to S1, and it left off on kind of a bad note. Presumably, if the two of them were ever put onto the same (merged) tribe again, they'd have some sort of notable reaction to each other. But, to my memory, Grett and Gabby haven't interacted this season at all. Are they just saving any turbulence the two of them might have for once they actually hit the same beach? Or does the fact that no Gabby/Grett plotline has been set up imply that they never will have any notable content together?

On the other hand, there are my reasons why I think Grett would stay. Although I do think that a Grett-less Yul still makes more sense, I do think that the particular situation that Grett is in right now could lead to a more interesting predicament for her. After axing Connor, the Yellow Team is comprised only of villains. That means, if they have to vote someone out, the villains' alliance will have to cannibalize one of their own. If Grett does turn the tide of the vote against Yul, she would be in a really interesting position with the rest of the villains. She's kind of turned against them by voting out her own boyfriend, but it would only be with their consent that he was taken down in the first place. In a merge scenario, does she explore alliances with potentially hostile outsiders, or does she stick with the treacherous villain's alliance?

The bigger thing is that I just don't really think that there are the numbers for a Grett elimination right now. Yul had way more of a chance of throwing votes on Grett when 1) Connor could be down to vote for anyone who wasn't him, and 2) he could appeal to any desire Alec and/or Riya had to save Connor to sway their votes. Now... why the hell would Alec and Riya decide that they want to work with Yul over Grett? Other than "entertainment," anyways. Now that the target on S1 girls' backs has shrunk a little, I feel better about Grett's longevity. But, I still don't feel confident either way, so she winds up in the top half... barely.

#7: Riya

Riya, too, could go both ways. Her newfound friendship/alliance with Alec implies some further content for her. However, Riya did get a lot of time to "shine" (subject to viewer opinion) in S2, so her run could be coming to a close soon. Her selfish attitude certainly hasn't changed, so if something happened to make Alec grow sick of her, the other three could unite against her.

Something that I think gives Riya the edge over Grett, at least, is that she does have a relationship with someone on another tribe that could be expanded upon later: Aiden. In the first episode of All Stars, Aiden and Riya fight, and she shoves him off the plane. That easily could just be for laughs, or to show off a rivalry that's too potent to sweep under the rug, but it could also be setup for the pair clashing once again in All Stars.

But, in the end, I think a Yellow vote would come down to the Alec/Riya and Yul/Grett pairs clashing, with Riya and Yul on the chopping block for elimination due to being the looser cannons. So, between Riya and Grett, I put Riya lower.

#8: Yul

As you can see, I had a really hard time distinguishing between Riya and Yul. Grett, too— all of them have somewhat compelling reasons for being kicked out, but nothing so concrete that it makes me say, “now THAT’S the next boot.” I just have to hope that Yellow isn’t going to tribal next, which… I think will be the case? Maybe? Who knows.

While I do think that Yul will be a major villain of the season, there’s still a decent change that that role will be reserved for solely Alec, Ellie, or both of them. The rule of threes could come back to bite Yul if, now that he’s used the earpiece twice, the third time leads to his elimination. And, he is really unliked, so I would understand why the other villains would choose to eliminate him.

One interesting possibility I thought of would be if Alec and Riya and Grett and Yul refuse to turn on each other, resulting in a tie vote. Yul was involved in a tie vote in S2, where he beat Maggy in rock paper scissors to stay in the game. It would be kind of poetic if Yul was thrown into a tiebreaker again, and lost this time. That’s why I put him below Riya. But, on the whole, I don’t THINK Yul is going home. Probably…? This power ranking is a mess.

#9: Jake

My lowest non-Cyan entry. I suppose that, despite all the fussing, I’m still thinking that their large group must be the next to cut a number. But we’re not here to talk about Cyan, we’re here to talk about Magenta! And Jake, who could be doing something… troublesome in the next episode.

Despite the leaps and bounds he’s been making in the communication department (which I’m honestly so proud of him for), Jake’s biggest flaw still is and will be his jealousy and insecurity. It’s what put him in hot water with Aiden, it’s quite possibly what drew Tom away from him in the first place, and it’s what’s causing him now to want to fight with Ally for Ashley’s affections. If, as I said before, his flaws are directly causing the team to lose, he might get cut.

Granted, it would be a little weird to cut Jake before he learns that Tom was lying (assuming Tom was). However, that COULD still be resolved at a later point with Jake either on the sidelines, fighting to get back into the competition, or in the fabled Loser's Motel episode (assuming Tom has been eliminated by that point as well). Because Aiden also heard Tom's lies, Tom can still suffer the consequences of his actions with Jake gone.

Despite all this, I think the season would be better with Jake's continued involvement in it, so I hope he doesn't go out next episode. The curse of the #9 slot is... just a superstition, right...?

#10: Ellie

Is this just because I’m salty that I put her in last twice and she still hasn’t gone home yet? Well, maybe a little bit. But also, the fact that she HASN’T been eliminated, and has continued to do more villainous things (especially towards Jake) each episode, has started to sway me to believe that she might be in it for a longer haul. Would they really need this much build up to justify Ellie as a pre-merge boot?

Because, like, they’re putting SO MUCH FOCUS into her being a villain. Her negative arc could get cut off now, but it would mean that all of that time spent showing her tormenting Jake specifically would have no bearings on her elimination, because Jake can't be involved in her vote right now.

I still think that Ellie will be eliminated on the sooner end, but I now kind of think that she might be the first boot after the merge. Then, everyone that Ellie has wronged (who is still in the competition) can band together to send her packing. That would also be even juicier on Gabby's end (assuming she is still in the competition), because it would hammer in that everyone is against her.

For Ellie to be eliminated as the merge boot, she has to survive this episode, which is why I moved her up a little from the bottom. However, I can still obviously see why Ellie could be eliminated now, so she doesn't stray too far from the bottom.

#11: Aiden

Surprised to see Aiden this low? Me too, kind of. The reason he's this low has to do with a specific scenario that I think could happen next episode, so bear with me as I get a bit more conspiratorial than usual in these power rankings.

So, the challenge is probably Among Us tasks, right? But, we saw the paper that Tom read in the arcade, which might be an advantage. So, something that I believe might happen next episode is that Ellie and Gabby will abandon their team to go advantage hunting in the arcade, and their lack of participation will cause the Cyan Team to lose. With Ellie clearly playing for herself, both in the villain's alliance and in the arcade, she's the obvious target. However, if Ellie manages to find an immunity totem, she could save herself. And, if she did, who would go home other than her biggest target, Aiden?

I really love Aiden as a comedic force in this season-- the way that he's just chilling and having fun despite all the drama always makes me laugh-- but he doesn't have a whole lot to do other than be an obstacle between Jake and Tom. I'm worried that the conversation with Jake as shown in the trailer could be a bad sign for him. Unlike Jake and Ally, Jake and Aiden weren't shown to be super hostile with one another, which means Aiden might hearing Jake out here. If he did, I could see Aiden feeling sympathy for Jake after hearing more of his side of the story, and some of the worse things that Tom has done. That could close their chapter of hostility while leaving Tom and Jake to now sort things out on their own.

Another thing that's made me feel more iffy about Aiden's chances was learning that the reason why James may have been eliminated early (and maybe not done Patreon reads) was just because his voice actor was super busy. If that's the case, then I'd really doubt that James would be coming back as a returning competitor, which would mean Aiden doesn't have that "shield" anymore. Furthermore, I hadn't really thought about what would happen after James and Aiden were back in the game together. Assuming they don't both make the final 3 again, one or both of them would need to be eliminated at some point. But, like, how? When? I think (and hope) that Odd Nation Cartoons wants to keep the Jaiden relationship sacred, which means that the two of them would kinda just be enjoying the competition together. That's really sweet, but it's 1) an in-universe threat to the other players, and 2) not that juicy for out-of-universe viewers. Honestly, I wouldn't be too surprised if they both got canned in a double elimination not long after James returned. But, is that really what they would want from their returning player?

I dunno, I'm probably thinking about this too hard in both directions. Aiden could still have a bright future ahead of him even if James doesn't return, and he could also be eliminated without all that totem nonsense if Tess simply chose to side with Gabby and Ellie. I think there's a definite possibility for a surprise Aiden boot, though, so he's a lowly sacrificial lamb. Even he thinks he's going to die, soooo...

#12: Gabby

I... really don't have a justification for this one in terms of game mechanics. It just feels like the right vibes to me? Gabby is the player that I can most easily see a merge without, so now she's at the bottom.

Like I said back at Grett, the fact that Grett and Gabby's relationship hasn't really been expanded upon could be bad for both of them. I'm once again back to thinking that the slight erasure of Gabby's more negative traits could be to make her a more well-liked unfortunate exit. I'd prefer it if the writers took her in more of the woman scorned direction, but, is that really going to happen...?

Returning to the totem scenario, I do think that has a chance to take out Gabby as well. If Gabby and Ellie made it really obvious that they found some sort of advantage (by being absent from completing tasks), Aiden, Tom, and Tess could secretly switch their vote to Gabby and make Ellie burn her idol on herself in a tribal where she gets to votes. It's the potential for that poetic cinema-- Gabby played her idol on Ellie to save her in S1, but Ellie doesn't play her idol on Gabby to save her in S2-- that makes me really like this possibility, unlikely as it may be. Similarly, I like how it eliminates Gabby, who thus far appears to be a less important character this season than Ellie, while still having the other three Team members intend to target the logical biggest threat. They just can't do it directly, in this scenario.

But, still, I don't like putting Gabby in last place just because of one kind of cool scenario I thought of, hinging on a totem that may or may not be in play. The thing is, I just have a hard time thinking that we're about to lose anyone at this point. Everyone feels so important!

And, honestly, this preview confused me so much that I could really see anyone Tess downward going home and not be too surprised about it. That's scary when it comes to making this ranking. I might take a point hit this week, but... maybe I also nailed it! I'm very excited to see where this episode takes us. Thanks for reading!

#disventure camp #dcas #dcas power ranking #disventure camp spoilers #sorry i've been kinda mia from tumblr i got a new job don't have as much time to be postin anymore #i still very much enjoy theorizing it's just hard to jump into that after standing and doing customer service for 8 hours #hopefully i'll settle into a better routine soon... #initial reactions will also probably be postponed/cancelled for tomorrow bc venus is in town and i want to spend more time with her #and isn't caught up with all stars yet. but i did make her start watching s1 >:) #ashley disventure camp #alec disventure camp #tom disventure camp #tess disventure camp #ally disventure camp #grett disventure camp #riya disventure camp #yul disventure camp #jake disventure camp #ellie disventure camp #aiden disventure camp #gabby disventure camp

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Shocked and confused, you stared up at the powerful creature above you, in bewildered silence, mentally kicking yourself for having gotten into this situation in the first place.

It was common knowledge that dragon spirits were non too fond of humans, often doing nothing to hide their aggression in the unfortunate event that one should cross paths with them. That, mixed with the fact that they were known to be fiercely territorial over their land and the things they considered theirs, meant that people always had to be incredibly careful when travelling through unknown areas, lest they accidentally incur the wrath of one such spirit.

Of course, there were always people who ignored these warnings, or didn’t take them as seriously as they should, something which, unfortunately, you were quite guilty of.

For years, you had ignored the warnings about straying too close to the south side of the forest, near your town, despite it being a well known rumour that a dragon had claimed that area, many years prior. In your youthful innocence and ignorance, you had stubbornly refused to believe in its existence until you saw irrefutable proof, having heard the stories of people making up such claims, in order to scare others away from certain areas.

Unfortunately, the continued absence of any concrete proof, had only increased your disbelief as you grew older, leading to you growing more and more bold as you ventured into what was supposedly, the dragon’s territory. Even though you had repeatedly trespassed over the years, either to collect fruit and berries, or simply to wander aimlessly, you’d never seen a single shred of evidence to support the claim.

Or at least.....not until today, you hadn’t.

Despite the terrifying discovery that there had been people following you, with the intent harm you, and your shock over finding out that the rumours were very much true, it was your confusion that was dominating your thoughts, as you laid there, staring up at the furious creature.

Why, if the dragon had always been here like they said, had it never attacked you for intruding on its territory?

Why, out of all the times you had trespassed into its domain, had it chosen now, to finally make its presence and displeasure, known?

And why, despite you being nothing but a simple human..... was it acting as though it was you that it wanted to protect?

#write-it-motherfuckers #writing prompt #writing prompts #writing #prompt #story prompt #story prompts #story #prompts #my prompt #original #random #imagine #story time motherfucker #eh. this one got rushed because my wireless keyboard went dead half way through typing it up. and I'm a lot slower on a normal one #hopefully it's at least somewhat enjoyable. I guess this could go out to all the monsterfuckers following this blog. #though it could also still be taken elsewhere quite easily. either way. the tags are only ever a suggestion #dragon #spirit #yokai #magic #supernatural #monster #protective #fantasy #dragon spirit #implied attempted assault #this is bringing me back to that Don't Touch My Treasure prompt I did a looooong while back. From when I still did requests #fluff #fluffy

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

All Cream, No Sugar

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! Here is my sfw fic that was submitted to my friend @writing-in-april​ for the 4th Fic Swap on @imagining-in-the-margins​ ‘s Discord! Not my best work because I have been struggling to manage time lately and balance everything with my school and personal life. But I hope it is enjoyable nonetheless!

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It was Thursday. Possibly the worst day of the week. Even more awful than Monday. It always felt like a barricade between the beginning of the week and the weekend. The glorious, lazy weekend. Honestly, now that I think about it...Thursday has the same kind of feel as November.   

I chuckled to myself as I left my apartment. My mind was a special place, and I guess today was no different. Better than thinking about my finals, though. Literally anything was better to think about instead of final exams. That’s why I’m treating myself to a break at my favorite coffee shop. I deserve it, really, after the studying I have been doing all day. At least, that’s what I tell myself so I feel okay about spending all this money on coffee. 

The car ride over there was quick enough. I lived on the outskirts of the city, but this place has the best coffee, and I would drive a ridiculous amount of time to get to it. No matter the distance, it would be worth it. 

And maybe...just maybe…I would see that guy that comes in sometimes. The one with the messy hair and the sweater vests. He was so intriguing. I don’t even know his name, but I always notice when he comes in while I’m there. It was pretty much impossible not to. Hopefully one day I would work up the nerve to talk to him. Maybe that day would be today. 

I walked in the building, and the smell of coffee and sweets immediately hit me. It was so comforting. Almost like a tiny sanctuary away from home, and I was always so appreciative. 

As soon as the little bell on the door rang, the barista behind the counter looked up and shot me a smile. They recognized me quite often. 

“Hey, (Y/N), the usual?” she called from across the floor. 

“You know it,” I said with a wink. 

I took my favorite seat in the shop and looked around. It was pretty empty today, which was just the way I like it. It means less time to wait for my coffee and I can sit in peace. The only thing that would make it better is if that guy came in and I got my big girl pants on to ask him his name. 

After a few minutes, my coffee was brought to me and I handed the waiter some cash for my order, with a good amount leftover for a tip. His smile was bright and thankful, and it made me hopeful for today.

Each time the door opened and another person walked in, my heart skipped a beat. I stopped counting when I got to 10 people that turned out not to be him. It irked me more than I care to admit. 

I was starting to lose hope, staring daggers at the dregs of my leftover coffee. Perhaps I thought I would find him there? I just wanted to see him. 

A tap on my shoulder drew me out of my thoughts. Well, it startled me out of them more like. With a gasp, I jumped and looked up at the person who tapped on me. It was the barista who greeted me and made my coffee. Sophie. My favorite barista to spill all my problems to. 

“You okay? You look like you’re really thinking hard about something.”

I sighed and almost smiled at how ridiculous I was being. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. And I was thinking about something. Can you sit for a minute?”

She nodded, “I’m on break, thankfully.”

Once she took her seat across from me at the tiny table, I wrapped my fingers around the now room temperature coffee cup in front of me. 

“So, what’s up? What could you possibly be thinking about that’s got you looking like that?”

“Um, well. There’s this guy…”

Her eyes widened and she leaned forward a bit, as if to ask me to continue. 

“You might have seen him in here before. He comes in as much as I do, which is why I noticed him.”

“What does he look like?”

“Well, he’s tall. He wears sweaters a lot...um…oh, his hair is kind of messy, but in a cute way. And he has this dumb little satchel he carries sometimes-”

“Does he look like that guy?” Sophie asked as she pointed behind me. 

I followed where her finger was pointing by the door and sure enough, he was there. But he was there with another girl I had never seen him with before. She had dark hair and striking eyes, along with a certain air about her that just gave off badass vibes. Of course he would have a girlfriend. And a gorgeous one at that. 

I turned back to Sophie quickly before he noticed me staring. 

“Uh, yeah. That would be him. But I’ve never seen that girl before. It figures, though. Just my luck.”

The pair began walking farther into the shop, talking quietly as they approached the counter to order. The more they talked and smiled at each other, the more my heart seemed to falter. 

“Oh, (Y/N),” Sophie said quietly so only I would hear, “I’m so sorry.” 

I didn’t respond to her. I didn’t have to. The look in my eyes was enough to let her know what I was thinking and feeling. 

Her break was about to be over, so she placed a hand gently on top of mine, and with a small smile, left me there. 

Well, there was only one thing left to do. Get another coffee, and maybe something sweet to drown my sorrows in. 

I took a deep breath and stood up, grabbing my empty cup to throw away when I got to the front to order. I didn’t see them anywhere now. They must have ordered already and found a seat. But truthfully, I didn’t look around for them long. I didn’t want to. 

I ordered a black coffee and a doughnut, and waited for a second for them to hand me my order instead of going back to my table to wait. Sometimes they put too much creamer in the coffee, so this way I could go over to the cream and sugar stand and make it myself. 

Coffee and doughnut in hand, I made my way over to the small fridge they left out for customers to put in their own creamer and milk. I wasn’t really feeling the flavored seasonal creamers they had, so I just grabbed the half and half and started pouring. I didn’t really want any sugar either. I had my doughnut, which I probably wouldn’t even eat to be honest. My stomach was in knots. 

A sudden voice behind me knocked me out of my thoughts. 

“All cream, no sugar, huh? I’m the total opposite.”

I was so startled that my hand seemed to seize up, causing me to jerk the carton of half and half away from the cup. Now there was liquid all over the counter. 

“Oh. I’m so sorry- Here, let me. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I still hadn’t looked at who was talking to me, so when the footsteps got closer and I felt someone next to me, I decided I should finally look up. 

It was him. The guy. The one I came here for. Except now he was standing right next to me. 

He grabbed a handful of paper towels and started wiping up the mess on the counter while I stood wide-eyed and in shock. I should probably say something. 

“I’m so sorry. I was...thinking about something and you startled me. I feel so clumsy.”

He looked up at me with a hint of a smile on his face. 

“No, it’s really my fault. I’m not good at talking to people.” 

Once he had finished cleaning up, he threw the paper towels away and turned back towards me. 

“What’s your name? I see you in here sometimes. I guess you could say we’re both regulars.”

A lump formed in my throat that I had to swallow down forcefully. He saw me in here sometimes? He noticed me? Did he ever see me looking at him? Oh no. 

“Um, my name is (Y/N). I see you in here sometimes too. The coffee here is really good, yeah?”

He smiled again, but bigger and more pronounced this time. Nodding his head, he shifted his bag and looked back at me. 

“My name’s Spencer. It’s nice to officially meet you.” 

Now it was my turn to smile. This was going pretty good, all things considered. It’s too bad about that girl he’s with, though. Speaking of the girl, she was walking towards us right now. Fantastic. Just what my anxiety needed. 

“Spencer, we just got a call. Did you not pay attention to your phone?” the woman said in a hurry as she came closer. 

Spencer jumped a bit and started to dig in his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out and laughed nervously. 

“I have it on silent. Whoops.” 

The woman rolled her eyes and then seemed to notice me standing there. 

“Ohh, I see. You had it on mute so you could talk to this girl you were telling me about, hmm? Better hope I don’t tell Hotch”

Spencer opened and closed his mouth a few times, and I was simply shocked. He wanted to talk to me? Like, on purpose? He told this woman about me?

“I’ll meet you outside, Emily,” Spencer groaned at her.

The woman named Emily smiled at me and winked before leaving. So now it was just me and Spencer, standing awkwardly together. Great. 

“I, um...ignore her. She’s a colleague from work...and apparently my wing woman now.”

I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. So she was just a friend. I had gotten myself all sad and anxious for nothing. Honestly, that’s typical for me though, so…

I could only smile. So much so that it made my cheeks hurt. 

“So, do you have to leave? For work or something?”

Spencer shifted his weight nervously.

“Yeah, I um, yeah I’m sorry. I really would like to stay and talk more. I hope you don’t find it weird I told her about you, by the way. I just notice you in here a lot and I think you’re really pretty and I just-”

He cut himself off suddenly and looked at me sadly.

“I have to go, but here.” 

Hurriedly, he pulled out a scrap piece of paper from his bag and a pen. He leaned over the counter and quickly wrote his name and number on the paper and handed it to me somewhat forcefully. 

“Text me or call me...you know, if you want. Um, I really have to go. I’m sorry.”

He turned on his heel and began walking towards the door. 

“Spencer!” I called across the shop.

Spencer stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me, almost with an excited glint in his eye.

I held the paper he gave me gently in my hand and took a deep breath to calm my pounding heart.

“I noticed you, too.”

#spencer #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #dr spencer reid x reader #reid #cm #criminal minds #x reader #insert #fluff #sfw #yn #fanfic #fic #ficlet #blurb #chapter #write #writing #emily #prentiss #emily prentiss #hotch

[serowotonin]

❝︎be mine❞︎ | valentine’s special

➽─ a love letters collab piece dedicated to @play90soi ─❥

#SYNOPSIS ❥ a letter of confession after nearly a year leads you back to a lost love.

#PAIRING ❥ ushijima wakatoshi x gn!reader #WORDCOUNT ❥ 1.3k #GENRE ❥ mostly fluff, maybe a bit of angst? exes to lovers #WARNING ❥ mentions of breakup, uh not well written emotions, unedited

#NOTE ❥ um it’s not the best but happy late valentines !! and i hope u like it<3

Dear L/n Y/n,

This Valentine’s would be the first we spend together as a couple and I’m hoping I will be able to make it memorable enough for you. Although we haven’t been together long, I have grown very fond of you over these last 2 months. Which is why I wanted to give you something special and personal for Valentine’s day. 

I have never given anyone anything on Valentine’s day before so please forgive me if what I prepared wasn’t enough. 

Honestly, I don’t know what to write in this letter. Tendou says to just write how I feel about you but my feelings are somewhat hard to describe.

If I think about it, I would say being with you is as fun as playing volleyball. They are different of course but as volleyball is a big part of my life, so are you.

You are easy to talk to and a generally engaging person to be around. There are many things about you I find curious and drawn to but all of those little things make you who you are and I am drawn to you as a whole. 

I know I may not be as expressive as others but do know I care for you a great deal and do take notice of the little things about you. I may not show it outwardly though as I am unsure how to. The best example of this would be when you smile.

I don’t know how to react when you smile because it gives me an indescribable feeling I want to feel again when the moment fades. This is why I often bring you your favorite foods or snacks. It is to see that smile painted on your happy, cheerful face. 

Hopefully, this letter too will bring a smile to your face.

Happy Valentine’s day Y/n. Thank you for being patient with me so far and thank you for being in my life. 

Sincerely,

Ushijima Wakatoshi

You stared at the letter in your hand. This wasn’t your first time reading it, but funnily enough, you still felt all the same emotions as you did the first time around.

It was hard to believe that was two years ago, when you and Ushijima were experiencing the freshness of high school romance, and all the ups and downs that came with it afterwards.

Would you say you miss him? You did. But you two were on a break… a break that seems to be lasting nearly as long as the time you two were together.

It was for the best though. High school relationships barely made it past college anyways. You two were both busy people too.

Well, those were the same excuses you always used.

Excuses or not, you two weren’t together at the moment and although you may not want to admit it, it hurts.

It hurts even more once you realized tomorrow was going to be Valentine’s day. 

First time spending it alone in a while… Oh well, no point in dwelling on it too much now. Might as well just go to sleep. 

➽───────────────❥

Waking up to sunlight streaming through the cracks of your curtains would’ve been a great way to start the day was it not for the terrorizing shrieking of your alarm clock that accompanied it. 

Tired, you moved one hand to shut the alarm as the other pulled off the blankets with a flourish. 

Yes today was Valentine’s day, but it was also a Sunday, your day off. 

After a satisfactory breakfast and shower, you draped yourself lazily on the couch thinking of anything you could do today. 

‘There was that pile of mail from yesterday I could go through?’

And so you left the couch in favor of something more productive.

Pulling the pile of envelopes from the cupboard in which you stashed them, you brought them over to a nearby table and begun sorting through them.

Most were just the usual, coupons and bills. There were some advertisements littered through the pile too, and an envelope with familiar handwriting adorning the front.

You took in a deep breath, and opened the envelope. Unfolding the paper found inside, you were met with the same curves and strokes from the letter you read just last night.

Dear L/n Y/n,

How are you? It’s been a while since we talked to each other. It’s been even longer since we’ve seen each other last. I hope you are doing well, in both your studies and any other ventures you may have. 

You might wonder why I sent you this letter after all this time and the truth is that I miss you. It took me a while to realize but I miss being with you. You were always a comforting force and my rest from volleyball and school activities.

I understand that we aren’t together now due to distance and the fact that we’re both busy people. I am not asking that we get back together because that in itself would have enough complications. However, if you’re willing, I would like to at least be able to spend a day with you.

Are you free on Valentine’s this year? Because if you are, I would like you to be mine again, if only for a day.

Sincerely,

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

You read it once, twice, and once again. Were your eyes deceiving you or did Ushijima just write you a love letter, again, nearly a year after you broke up. 

You looked at the date and saw this was sent to you almost a week ago, but since you didn’t collect your mail until yesterday you didn’t see it..

You started panicking slightly wondering if it’s too late to answer. It was still morning though. There was still time.

Rushing to find your phone, you opened your contacts and scrolled down to Ushijima’s name. Before you could think, you pressed call and held the phone to your ear, waiting for a response.

On the second ring, he picked up.

“Hello Y/n.”

“Hi.. Ushi,” you replied not quite sure what to call him. “Um I just read the letter you sent me and I’m sorry for the really late reply but yes.”

You heard a deep breath from the other end.

“Yes..?”

“Yes I am free today and yes I would like to be yours again.”

He didn’t say anything but you swear you could see him smiling through the phone.

“Then, shall I come over to your place?”

“That would be great. Thank you Ushi.”

“Thank you too Y/n. I’ll see you in a while.”

“Ok, see you.”

➽───────────────❥

As night grew and morning loomed close, it was time he left. Today had been enjoyable, more than that even, and you could tell Ushijima felt the same.

Goodbyes were difficult, this one seeming especially so. Standing at your door, he turned to face you.

He didn’t seem to know what to say and neither did you. 

“I’ll be going now then. Goodnigh—“

“Wait, um, I know you said only for a day but really, I don’t think I want it to just be a day…”

He looked at you, eyes widened, and he smiled. 

“I didn’t want it to be just for a day either.” 

You smiled back, “Well, I guess we’ll figure something out then?”

“I’m free on Wednesday if you want to talk and figure it out,” he replied almost instantly.

“I think I’m free too. It’ll be a date then.”

He nodded and looked at the time, saying he probably should get going now. As he opened the door though, you snuck closer and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. You could see he practically melted at that but he didn’t say anything except for a goodbye and a goodnight.

You returned those before closing the door behind him and walking back to your room.

Laying on your bed a while later, you stared up at the ceiling.

You weren’t sure what the future would hold, but you knew you were looking forward to what’s coming.

#TAGLIST ❥ @lilikags @luna-in-luv

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oneshot #hq oneshots #hq fluff #ushijima fluff #ushijima fic #ushijima oneshot #haikyuu ushijima #haikyuu fic #love letters collab #www.pink-ink.com/writing #/fic

[tedturneriscrazy]

Earlier @nikkydash posted this, the latest comic of their OCs Kite and Sabrina.

By complete coincidence, earlier today I happened to finish a fic of these two, based on this comic.

Not a super long read, but hopefully an enjoyable one!

Anyways...

Untitled Kabrina Fic

She had to tell them.

It was the right thing to do. Even if it meant the end of all this. Even if it would hurt so much for it to end. They deserved to know.

Sabrina was out on the patio, leaning on the railing, a cigarette loosely held in her fingers in her left hand. She stared out into the clear, quiet night, the silence punctuated only by the chirping of crickets in the distance.

It was the perfect kind of night to be lost in thought. Unfortunately for Sabrina, these were exactly the kind of thoughts she did not want to be lost in. She took a drag from her cigarette and exhaled, whispering, “Fuuuuck…”

It had been five years since Sabrina had fake married Kite at that party to avoid the wedding to that gross dipshit mobster. It was only supposed to be for a few months to get him and his dumbass goons off her back. Yet here they both were, five years later, still fake married despite the need for it having long since passed.

A lot had happened in those five years, and during that time Kite had become a master at getting under Sabrina’s skin. It seemed that, no matter what sort of display of bluster or bravado she put forth, they knew just what to say or do to completely undermine it, leaving her either a flustered mess or stewing in impotent frustration. In short, they could play her like a damn fiddle.

Yet as much as Kite drove her crazy, there were also things about them Sabrina appreciated. Like how, getting under her skin aside, they treated her with kindness and respect. Or how they would hold her on nights where she felt particularly overwhelmed without a word. Or how they would refer to her as “darling.” Or, Sabrina had to admit, how fucking gorgeous they were.

Sabrina couldn’t deny it any longer: she had fallen in love with them for real. Had been in love with them for this whole time, in fact.

God, this was so fucking embarrassing.

After all, what kind of idiot developed real feelings for their fake spouse? And held onto those feelings for half a fucking decade without saying anything about it? That’s me, Sabrina thought. I’m that kind of idiot.

Well, the time had come for that to end. Whatever happened, happened. She was finally going to tell them. She owed them that much.

She took one last long drag on her cigarette, followed it with a deep sigh, and tossed the butt into the coffee can on the patio. She then made her way back inside.

-------------------------

She found Kite getting their birds ready to go to sleep for the night. She stood silently in the doorway for a moment, then cleared her throat to get their attention. They looked up at her and said, “Yes?”

Sabrina cleared her throat again, then said, “Uh, when you get a moment, there’s something we, uh, need to talk about.” Already she could feel her heart beating faster. Gotta keep cool.

Kite raised an eyebrow. “Is everything all right?” they asked.

Sabrina felt her face begin to flush. Goddamn it. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just...there’s something I need to tell you. I’ll be in the living room whenever you’re done here.”

Kite looked at her quizzically for a moment, then said, “Okay, I just need to finish with Fiesta here and I’ll be out.”

"Blow it out your ass!" Fiesta squawked. Even with everything on her mind, Sabrina smiled at that. She had taught that little bastard well.

Kite looked at Fiesta with a mock disapproving glare. "Now now, I know you don't like bedtime, but you need your beauty sleep!"

"Suck my dick!" the bird retorted, and Sabrina couldn't help but laugh as she made her way out to the living room. Well, that helped ease the tension that was knotting up in her stomach, at least a little bit.

-------------------------

While waiting for Kite, Sabrina paced back and forth. She had been in her fair share of fights, scrapes, and sticky situations. Hell, more than a few times she had stared death directly in the face. Yet this, the prospect of telling her fake spouse her real feelings, made her more nervous and scared than any of those.

“You know, darling, there are easier and faster ways to remove carpeting.”

Sabrina was snapped out of her reverie by Kite’s quip and almost tripped. There they were, standing with arms folded. How did they do that? After regaining her composure she fired back, “Go to hell.”

Kite shrugged, then said, “Well okay, if you say so. But I thought you wanted to talk to me about something.”

“You know what I meant!” Sabrina exclaimed. “And yeah, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“So you said,” Kite reminded her. “Well, what is it?”

Sabrina’s heart beat like a jackhammer, her cheeks and ears tinged with red. How was she supposed to approach this? What sort of lead-in was there? For a brief moment she considered talking about something--anything--else.

No. This was it. No going back now. She had to just come out and say it. That was her style, after all.

Sabrina sighed heavily, her left hand grabbing the back of her neck, and her right tugging on her shorts. She found herself unable to look Kite in the eye. Finally she said, “This is really cringe because we’ve been fake married for five years, but I think I’m actually in love with you.”

Well, shit, there it was. Out in the open.

She still couldn’t bring herself to make direct eye contact with Kite as she continued, “So, uh, if you want to get divorced, I get it. Since we didn’t get married for that reason--”

“Sabrina! Stop!”

Suddenly she found her face in their hands. Startled, and somewhat annoyed at the interruption, she yelled, “Kite! What the fuck!”

They then drew her face closer and kissed her. It felt as if a lightning bolt had struck her lips and coursed through her entire body several times over. It was a marvel how, even after all these years, a kiss from them could make her feel like this.

Following the kiss they drew her, still startled, into a hug. Her arms stuck out awkwardly, unsure of what to do. “I love you, too.” Kite said gently. “Relax.”

Sabrina struggled to process what had just happened. What was still happening, really. The possibility of Kite returning those feelings had not seriously occurred to her. Sure, they were often flirty and affectionate with her, but that could have just been them getting into the role. Besides, they were FWB’s before the marriage, so it wasn’t too much of a stretch.

Still, to hear them say that…That they felt the same...

Sabrina felt a stinging wetness in her eyes as she buried her face into Kite’s chest, her arms clinging to their back, returning the hug with what seemed to be twice the force. She could feel them gently stroking her hair in response. Perhaps later she’d feel the embarrassment of crying in their arms, but for now all she wanted was to stay like this, holding onto the one she loved. Her spouse.

Guess this marriage was real, after all.

#sabrina #kite #kabrina #nikky dash #til that google docs formatting isn't preserved when copying and pasting to tumblr #at least on mobile #very good very nice

[thevividgreenmoss]

My grandfather was awake and lucid for a longish while between late Friday night and Saturday morning apparently first time since this past Sunday when we all thought that was It and crammed ourselves seven people in one sedan that got a flat on the way over of course (as we were leaving the handle of the screen door came off in my hand as I was closing it behind me so the vibe was very on the nose things farcically falling apart that whole goddamn day lol) but then when we made it he was smiling and laughing and talking to and teasing everyone that was there, albeit with much more effort than it would have taken him even just a week earlier when he was already in a really frail state because of his hip surgery. My sister happened to be up later than she usually ever is and got to video call and chat with him for a bit I wanted terribly for my cousin in Colorado to be able to also but by the time he could get through my grandpa's blood pressure had suddenly spiked or something and he'd drifted back into that borderline unconscious state so they didn't get a chance to talk which makes me want to claw my fucking skin off of my face but who knows maybe another opportunity will present itself hopefully it does like he suddenly became really talkative and energized the other day after not having said more than maybe a couple sentences over the few previous days like I was there with him for several hours on Thursday and the entire time he didn't say a word and only opened his eyes once for like half a second and even that I might have been imagining after sitting there sleep-deprived and holding his hand trying not to cry because then my mom would start crying and then my aunt and on and on and if he's conscious at that point he'll start to get worried and his heart rate will destabilize but after that for this one stretch without anyone expecting it he was really talkative and alert and joking around with the nurses and doctors and all that for a while but then later yesterday afternoon he started to get disoriented and drift in and out of the present in between dreaming and waking again at one point apparently he kept saying 'look at my shoes' to my mom and her sisters and they thought it was just just the medication/pain-induced delirium talking but he kept insisting and eventually said 'you're not taking me seriously' and I guess gave up? Or said it a few more times I'm not clear on the course of events I only heard all this secondhand when my younger aunt, who also got diagnosed with cancer late last year but thankfully is more or less in the clear now, got back home last night and she and I went into his room and took all the shoes out of the cabinet he keeps them in and like looked inside and turned over and examined the soles of every pair, took the cushion insert things out of the ones that had them, checked for scooby doo-esque hidden doors, all that but there was nothing there just shoes. Her kids flew back out yesterday morning, the older one's tentatively returning to Toronto in the next week or so she had a painfully rough time in some ways her first couple of years and then abruptly had to be uprooted and leave because of covid then everything with her mom and in time honored eldest daughter tradition bearing the brunt of the familial frustration and insanity associated with that and now everything with our grandpa I really really want her senior year to go smoothly and be enjoyable and memorable in a manner opposite to how this past year+ has been I'm so worried about her and her little sister's starting freshman year there in the fall and I'm terribly worried about her in a whole different way like she's still really attached to her parents in this innocent way that still strongly resembles like a baby's adoring my mom hung the moon type attachment and it can be especially hard being away for the first time ever when that's the case...like she's hyper hypersensitive even by my family's standards lmao but she does have this sort of self-possession and inner groundedness that no one can quite pin down but it's

definitely there and maybe that

could carry her through I really hope so...they were saying to come up to visit them in the fall hopefully I can find a job soon after returning to Texas and like be able to afford to do that and also like keep paying the bills and shit lol in either case I hope so so badly that they'll be okay like I think they will be the women in my family are all really strong but they've also had to be because of various fucked circumstances and I don't want that to keep having to be the case...my grandpa's a Strong Woman in a certain way also honestly lmao like my mom's aunts have always been like your father raised you in a way beyond even most mothers which like who fucking receives let alone genuinely deserves that kind of praise from their in-laws lmao let alone a man from a notoriously patriarchal culture of a generation when fathers from any culture barely had any involvement in their children's upbringing at all which I mean most still don't but even more so back then and like literally everyone we've been hearing from or seeing drop by at the hospital has a story of how at one point or another my grandpa was there for them when no one else was like distant cousins variously removed and loose family friends all with something about how he comforted me when no one else could, I remember word for word what he said to me when I suffered some loss of my own, he's the strongest man in our family, the best times we ever had were when he was near us, when he'd take us out, his youngest brother's children saying he cared for and spoiled them as if their were his own after their dad died suddenly when they were just kids, my mom's third cousin whose own father was with her till a late age saying that he was even more of a father to me than my own father, his other brother's son who was ostracized for decades by his immediate family on some straight up racist ass bullshit on the part of his mom and older brother because he married a black woman but my grandpa stayed in touch and made sure my mom and uncle did as well and made sure we all got together when he'd came to the states, like even now lying there on what very well might be his literal deathbed when he can barely talk he was telling my uncle he's worried about him and he needs to go home and rest, asking who's taking care of the house, are the kids all okay even at this point his thoughts are for others. After I put his shoes back in the cabinet I closed it and opened the one beside just in case I guess just in case what I don't know but it was just like standard cabinet stuff clothes a shaving kit and a couple of what I assume are photo albums that I didn't feel like I should open for some reason and a few old books, a collection of Ghalib's which I can't really read very easily if at all because it's in Urdu lol, a history of government college of Lahore where his father was teaching at the time of his death and the two philosophy textbooks my great grandfather had written himself, Inductive & Deductive Reasoning, and inside the latter I found a handful of yellowed pages torn out of an old notebook upon which mostly seem to be translations of french poems and I think maybe a song or two? I guess old coursework or just for funsies I'm not sure whether written by my grandfather or his own father. My khala was mentioning just the other day that she'd kept one of my grandpa's old notebooks marked as having been designated for biology but inside it were no actual notes just urdu poetry which she wasn't sure whether it was his own original tossed off work or something the lifelong frustrated creative transcribed while bored in class. The night I got here I was looking through his bookshelves after everyone had gone to bed and then a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the living room by myself watching archer when my cousin came and sat down next to me upset and unable to sleep on her own first night here and I held her and tried not to cry and then went through the same bookshelves again, this time with my cousin who we came to Pakistan for the first time after moving to the US

to see being born who turned three

the day we arrived on what until this current trip was the last time I was here her little sister having just been born earlier that same year (whose life I may or may not have saved when I caught her after she was dropped by the person holding her (the fact that (parentheticals within parentheticals!) I may or may not have been the one who dropped her in the first place is immaterial imo not that I'm the one on trial here but what's important is that I caught her and if anything this would be an even more athletically impressive and frankly heroic incident if I'd been the one that was holding her to begin with since I was 8/9 years old at the time and there wasn't much of a distance for her to fall and yet I kept her from hitting the ground like talk about reflexes like that's what's important and what's more important than even that @ my year older cousin (whose younger sister was the first baby in the family after myself whose arrival in this world when I was three had me positively giddy in the way that young children get when witnessing the miracle of even younger children, who's the only other one of the cousins that's been here during all this, just me and the three I got to see as darling little babies) who was the only other person in the room with me at the time, is that we take this to our fucking graves no one can hear a word of this least of all any adults in the house who like not that they're the ones on trial here either but like who allowed for this scenario to transpire in the first place where two children and an infant are in a room by themselves unsupervised in retrospect that's somewhat irresponsible not that I'd ever hold it against them or even mention it because then they might get mad and not let me hold my little cousin anymore and I do love holding my little baby cousin and carrying her around everywhere, mostly without incident)) neither of whom I'd see in person again until we visited them in Canada the summer after I graduated college the trip during which I finished the last of the Neapolitan novels the day after landing and turned 22 the day after their mother, my younger khala, turned 43, looking through my nana's bookshelves with my baby cousin no longer a baby but a U of T classics major entering her senior year, noting the overlaps with our own, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, George Eliot, the same exact copies of Cheever and Kafka's collected shorts, Umberto Eco, Proust, wondering what the various titles meant to him or what they might say about him, wondering how much of even the version of him that can be hypothesized based off his library I'm missing now that I'm limited to the much reduced version of what had been in his old home in Lahore (when he visited us after my junior year of hs and my mom was trying to convince him to downsize and move in with my other aunt with whom he's been living the past several years, the one who most resembles my grandfather the only one that has his cheekbones my khala whose eyes have sunken all the way into her skull before my eyes with exhaustion and grief over the past two weeks, when my mom was like what's the point of just hanging onto a bunch of books that you've already read: I look at them [dramatic pause], and I feel happy [my mom sighing equally dramatically in.exasperation, me cracking up in the background]) the city I was born in the house where I spent the first almost five years of my life before we moved to the US to join my dad who'd moved back shortly after my mom became pregnant with what turned out to be me, abu nana's house with the garden we'd walk through every morning holding his hand and following along as he puttered around with his plants in the garden in the house in the city he had to leave to move into my khala's house in Islamabad where I've been the past almost a month now where two weeks ago he suddenly came down with pneumonia and had to be dragged to a hospital in Rawalpindi where he's been since, not in his house, my nana's house, with the garden in the city I haven't seen since the last time I was in this country the

summer I

turned nine the day after my khala turned 30 the day before my other khala turned 32(?) the summer I first remember obsessive compulsive disorder becoming an overwhelming aspect of my consciousness although it was there before, the first summer of the Iraq war and being terrified watching the Iraq war unfold on the BBC evening news my nana would turn on

at dinner time and hearing for the first time or maybe just the first time I remember the night we left the phrase 'the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer' from my younger khala talking to her sisters and some family friends that had come over to see us off feeling terrified and cold then embarrassed because she noticed my face visibly fall from across the room and told my mom and I was like godammit everyone knows I'm scared now smhead then crying the entire flight back home because I missed everyone and maybe had a little kid premonition that I wouldn't return to my nana's house and I would be years and years till I saw any of them again some I still haven't or maybe there was nothing premonitory about it but in either case that's the way it turned out. I do feel grateful I got to see him again at all, when he last came to the US late 2016-early 2017 I was sure it would be the last time we would be in the same room. I'd make breakfast for us every morning and we'd eat together and the entire day I'd sit next to him inhaling secondhand smoke and talking and reading. I was in the midst of my initial aborted attempt to read Swann's way when he arrived. I'd gotten to Guermantes way last summer but I couldn't find a secondhand copy so I had to read it via ebook and that didn't feel right so I abandoned it until now I've been reading a copy pulled from his bookshelf. Last he visited was the first time I learned we were both Garcia Marquez-heads which I'd kind of assumed before and I showed him Mad Men which he heavily fucked with and also every John Le Carre adaptation I could track down online. From the first time I read one hundred years of solitude the summer after freshman year of college the passage describing Colonel Aureliano Buendia's death already absolutely and unbearably heartwrenching enough immediately brought thoughts of my grandfather, aching aching sorrow over the solitude that he himself existed within in all the fucking pain his life has been inordinately filled with grief over the knowledge of this inevitable final separation from him after so many years and so much distance already having separated him from the people he loved and cared for and he loved and cared for so many people so deeply with such sincerity and beauty and endless endless warmth and compassion and humor when Gabo wrote of the colonel trying to reach back through to his memories and being unable to after previously recalling that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice even years later, as he faced the firing squad, at the moment of his death like a 'baby chick' my poor frail beautiful grandfather appearing exactly the same way when he'd take off his dentures and curl over to the side to sleep, then when awake but still half asleep hearing your voice having brought his apple cider vinegar and garlic concoction or a cup of tea or just coming by to hold his hand or play with his beard the way all of his grandchildren have at one point or another and smiling with his eyes still closed smiling bright and wide the expression of a precious little cat purring as you scratch under its chin always the most beautiful smile and even as his hair turned white and his body withered and wrinkled and shrunk his cheekbones while still not bad long ago ceased being the way they were in that picture from his wedding day back when he he looked like young Robert De Niro's much much prettier Kashmiri cousin from then until now always that same radiance and those same quick-witted and kind and bright bright bright sparkling eyes. The past month and a half I've been feeling like I'm seeing my own mother dying before my eyes along with her father, my adorable beloved abu nana, I can't even begin to comprehend how she must be feeling right now I feel like I'm witnessing her death in advance through all of this and losing the part of her that is him even though I know that's not actually the case. Things have been so fucking painful and complicated between us but the one thing we've shared that's never

been painful is our love for him. When he left after his last visit four years ago I spent the next two days barely able to even talk. Compliments or like any positive comments directed in my directions have almost always caused me this reflexive discomfort and uneasiness but whenever he or anyone else would say that I'm his favorite grandchild I'd want to hold on to that as closely as i possibly can. I don't want him to leave us and more than that I want for whatever happens to at least happen with him back at home but neither of those things seem likely right now although who the fuck knows. I hope his last thoughts can be of flowers, like Kafka's, and Lispector's, or of love, wherever he is I hope it's not asking too much to hope for that at least. For someone that spent his life so deeply immersed within that Garciamarquesian solitude he never made those around him feel any way other than at home, safe and warm and loved and adored and adorable and lovable and at home not because of a place not even the garden at the house in Lahore but with him always always I've never felt more at home than during the times I spent near him, and his love and his flowers

[nurseofren]

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 27 (NSFW)

Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad

Read Chapter twenty-six

Title: There is No Redemption

Words: 7.4K

Summary: Happy trail worship? Happy trail worship. 

ST Rambles: Hello readers, I hope you enjoy this part. I am in my final semester for my ADN and cannot promise even monthly updates at this time. Please, please, please comment your thoughts because I don't want to produce content that is not enjoyable. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

[MASTERLIST] || BANNER / @elmidol

Stress enveloped your skull in throbbing pain, Karmen’s six-hour rundown stinging your senses and drawing you inward.  Halfway through, you had already begun to feel the excess of information take its toll; Zag’s voice – unpleasant in small doses – grated into you, each word coming too fast and leaving too soon.  Thankfully, no doubt to cover herself, she had left you with a thumb drive; it summarized everything she’d mentioned.

After the ordeal, when she left by the sharp click of her heels, you understood why it was recommended to arrive two days prior to the initial hearing: you were utterly and dreadfully exhausted.  After unpacking – ensuring easy access to your favorite socks and keeping Snoke’s letter tucked into the back drawer of a desk – you had sat in bed for an hour trying to refresh with the thumb drive’s contents; you’d were determined to be prepared for tomorrow’s shift at Canto Bight’s recovery wing.  If nothing else, you would not make a fool of yourself during your practice here.  This you swore to yourself.

At some point you had drifted to sleep, waking to find your cheek stuck to the datapad that’d been propped up before you.  The sunset woke you with a searing ray of light, screaming fuchsias and hazy purples warming your outstretched arm as they cast through open curtains.  The breeze rolled off of the bay and tickled loose hair over your nape, a deep breath stretching your lungs awake before you unfurled from yourself. 

The radar at your wrist indicated Kylo Ren was near but not in his quarters, probably not inside the building.  It was a confusing feeling – the unsteadiness you felt when revisiting your earlier interaction, the vagueness of his words contradicted by the certainty in which they’d been delivered, but simultaneously this calm in your chest since you had left him.  Although you had no idea what he’d gone on about, or what in time meant, his mere presence – the fact that he was near and would continue to be – allowed you these glimmers of peace.

Not since Starkiller.  Not since Snoke.  Not Mason and his baseless confidence, no matter how much you wished to latch onto it; not Talia, who had helped you back from your darkest moment.  The only things that stilled you were the known proximity of your master, and the nature of the words he’d earlier spoken.  You’d felt it that recent night on the Finalizer, how it lingered in your muscles just before you’d dozed off, how it seemed his presence had scared your nightmares away.

However ridiculous and backwards, Kylo Ren – the one whose pain is printed on your skin, who led a slaughter just strides away from you – had become a constant.  It was never what you had expected, but when you thought of the trial now, what eased your nerves was nothing less than the raven-haired warrior whose face was slashed with midnight hues of pain. 

Much like you, you’d come to realize, he had survived Starkiller, and the event changed him.  Though you could not know for sure, you began to wonder if what had gone on had not only left him with the wounds that’d wet your skin, but perhaps ones that were deeper – ones that were not so visible.  Something happened before that explosion, something more than whatever fight had earned him that scar.

You shook your head; this was too much to think on right now.  With a throw draped over your back, you trudged through the room and out into the chill of your side-balcony.  This sky held more beauty than any you’d ever seen; you watched the sun descend, spying a domed, octagonal pavilion at the far left of the side gardens.  It dripped with violet-petaled ropes and emerald ivies, was supported by scalloped columns entwined with twinkling blooms welded from gold, the whole stage centered around a sunken fire pit. 

Considering for a moment, you saw it would have a better view of the sunset, and you’d been cooped up since arriving.  It was a quick decision, catching view of a spiral of stairs that led to the grounds, but only after noting the pair of doors a few paces left of your room’s.  They were closed, and the inner curtains seemed to be shut, the room behind them dark.  Empty.

No, Kylo Ren was not here, but – a thumb over your radar – he was not far.  Somewhere off on his own business.  Training, maybe.  At least, that’s what you supposed kept you from traveling with him, the thought frustrating.  Maybe – no, undoubtedly – he would never admit to it, never show it, but he was still recovering. 

Ten days ago he was in a medically induced coma talking about someone named Ben and how he’s dead.  Bacta works wonders, but it means nothing if a patient is noncompliant with post-operative restrictions, like swinging around a plasma sword for hours on end, or doing trial runs with the Force – which, although you knew little about, one could easily assume it put strain on the body. 

Maybe you were wrong and your master was completely fine, maybe the Force aided in healing.  No matter, you worried; for him, mostly, never forgetting how he appeared in that medbay, but also for yourself.  It was clear that you cared for him – for fuck’s sake, when you thought you’d never see him again you wanted to tell him you loved him – and you knew his pursuits could very likely be the death of him.  Stubborn as you might be to acknowledge it, so long as he was okay and not recklessly shredding through healed wounds, so long as he returned to you, you could rest somewhat soundly.

Hugging your blanket, tighter when the wind blew, you wandered down to the courtyard’s trim lawn, along the overflowing flowerbeds that brimmed with brilliant colors, until you met the few steps that led to the pavilion’s stage.  Flames shocked you when you stepped onto the eight-sided base, your presence triggering a hidden system.  The rectangular pit exploded into a rainbow of fire, thin veils of flames ascending elegantly into an ordered myriad.  The pit was massive, consuming the base but for a few paces from each support.

Much like everything else, the pavilion was grand in size and decoration; the hearth’s hues danced along the draped flora, at least ten paces separating each gold-threaded pillar.  Everything here was explicitly luxurious, so big and gorgeous.  You wanted to settle into it, but it was temporary, and you would not know how fatal that fact was until it was too late.

Farther out, flames rippled over the bay; the sinking heat of the sun endeared your skin, the warmth at your back growing in distance as you gave in to the silent call of the scorching sky.  First tracing the tip of one of the gold leaves woven to a pillar, admiring the detailed stems and ridges, you curled up against the column’s wide base.  Head caressed by the smooth, cool stone, knees curled close to your chest, you were glamored by the water’s rhythmic sway, wondering if you would ever have the chance to feel it on your skin.

It took little effort to keep Karmen’s lecture from your thoughts, too lost to the burgundy of dusk that bloomed as the sun wilted toward the bay.  A stillness surrounded you, and then you tuned into the chirping whispers of bugs that remained hidden with the fall of night.  It did not bother you in the slightest, their distant songs a reminder of your life before the academy.  A passing thought, fond amusement lazily humming in your chest – there are no crickets in space. 

You remained folded against the pillar for some time, watching night creep over the city, more grateful for the heat on your back as warmth waned, the moon climbing higher with each lulling minute.  The stone iced into your cheek.  You went to leave, but your commlink buzzed at your waist, and you knew it would be wiser to keep this particular conversation outside. 

Elbows to your knees, you ruffled a hand through your hair, closed your eyes, and answered Mason’s call.  “How’s your day, McCarty?” There was no use in starting an argument if he had moved on from earlier.

“Probably better than yours, if I had to guess.” He sounded chipper.  It was a relief.

“Well, what went on? Where’d you go? Who’d you see? What’d you eat?”

“I’ve really just been hanging out at the house since getting here.  Caught a nap, which was nice.  Soto sent me a transmission detailing updates on a few patients.”

He wasn’t hostile at all.  Hopefully it meant he was done being weird.  “I also got a nap.  Which, agreed, is definitely nice.  Especially after being kept in a room with Zag for six hours and trying to keep my head from exploding.”

“Six hours? With Zag? Are they trying to get you convicted of murder?”

You shared a laugh, scooting along the stone floor and peering up to the ceiling.  It was tiled with mosaics, the fire’s vibrant colors reflecting off of it and shifting along the intricate designs.  The view of the city was wider from this position, distant lights shimmering in windows that peered into whatever parties were undoubtedly happening. 

“She isn’t that bad.  It’s just her voice.  And I barely have a handle on anything other than the fact that I have my first shift tomorrow, and then two days after that is the initial hearing.  And I don’t even want to think about that to begin with, so…”

“Well,” he sighed your name, “I’ll be there.  Bright and early, just like you.  Wearing my second-best attire, saving the very best for the official trial, of course.”

“Jeez, that’s another thing, right? They fly us out here, put me up in some military-grade villa, but they give me nothing to wear, are aware that my residence just exploded on Starkiller, and then still say I can’t wear my uniform.  I just find that a bit unfair.  But that’s what I think, which we both know has not mattered since the very beginning of all this.  I don’t even know why I expected anything different.  I’ll just have to request transport to the shops or something.  And then make credits appear out of thin air to pay for it.”

With notably increased enthusiasm Mason said, “Actually, I, uh, I was going through the house earlier and there’s actually a lot left over from my family’s recent trip.  You’re free to come over and take some stuff back to your embassy if you want.”

“Alright, first – not my embassy, and if we’re calling it anything, I vote palace.  Seriously—” you stared at a trellis that overflowed with wild blooms of every shade of red, the dead, fallen petals mocking you in the familiar way they pooled beneath.  “—this place is too beautiful for any of the old businessmen who stay here.  It’s actually ridiculous.”

“So it’s not homey, after all?”

A bellowing laugh came from the center of your chest, echoing up to the domed roof and into the growing dark.  “No.  No.  Not homey.  Not quaint.  None of that.  Just giant and spectacular.”

“Well, whatever it is, do you want to come over and grab some clothes?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah.  That’s a lot better than spending credits I don’t have.  Although maybe I’m worrying for nothing? Don’t they forgive your debt when you die, anyway?”

Mason did not laugh, did not even speak, and your amusement fell into alarm.  An edge menaced along each pointed word when he spoke; “Maybe they’ll forgive your debt, but I won’t forgive you for dying.” He grunted in rejection.  “You’re not dying, so I don’t know why we’re discussing this.”

Silence swallowed you both, and for a moment you could hear him trembling, hear the shakiness of his breath.  A sharp exhale startled your hand from your ear.  And then it was quiet again.  He cleared his throat, and you noticed how thick it had become.  Was he crying?

“Mason, you need to tell me what’s going on.  And don’t say-,”

“Nothing is going on.  It’s fine.  We’re fine.”

“Funny, because when you say that, when you tell me we’re fine when I didn’t ask, it makes me think the exact opposite.”

He sighed, but at this point there was a good chance it was more exasperation or fuming than anything else.  “I’m not having this conversation when I can’t see you.”

“Well, I’ll just turn my transmission on and we can-,”

“No.” Clipped, barked.  Final.

It concaved your chest.  Mason had never spoken to you like this.  Your teeth scraped at your bottom lip.  “Should I be worried?”

He paused.  “No,” as it gritted through his teeth, your name was contoured with wisps of ire.  An ounce less of restraint and whatever he was holding back would crack this hardened, taut façade.

The worst came to mind.  All you could manage was a terrified whisper, “Are you revoking your seat to testify? Is that what this is about? Am I about – fuck – am I about to- I can’t lose you.  I can’t-,”

“I told you.  I told you I will be there.” Frosted fury swept through his following pause.  His flat tone was laced with quiet hurt when he next said, “Do you really think I could do that to you? Leave you in the dust like that?”

“No.  I guess not.”

“You guess not,” he thought aloud, a long drag of breath crackling into your ear.  “I’m glad that you’re settled in, and… good luck during your shift tomorrow.  You don’t need it, I know, but nonetheless.”

He was dismissing you.  You hated it.  “I’m not hanging up until I know we’re okay.”

“We’re okay,” he said simply, too fast.  Mason cleared his throat.  “Request transport for the morning after your shift.  You can shop around the closets and after, we can order lunch and… and we can talk.  About things.  Everything.”

It was apparent he would not give anything more away, but you knew from his flat tone that whatever it was, was detrimental to him.  Or you.  Or both.

“Yeah.  I’ll put in the request after shift tomorrow.”

Another long, aching silence.  You listened to his breath, trying and failing at ignoring the knives in it.  The line remained silent, the hanging static a backdrop to the hidden, harmless creatures humming in the night. 

“I love you, Mason,” you prompted, teeth catching your trembling lips, time choking you with every halved second that trudged along.

It killed you, every inhale adding to the weight in your chest, every empty, wordless moment he spent cutting into you with a silent blade.

Another second and you turned back to the heightening tide of the bay, the clear night sky dying it a deep navy.  Even as you tried to focus on the waves that foamed along the distant shore, there was no sound louder than Mason’s nonresponse.

“Goodnight,” Mason said, small, far enough away that it splintered through your heart like ice wedged through rock.

“Good-,” the line went dead, the static dying, a night-kissed wave crashing in your periphery, “-night.”

The iridescent veils of hearth rippled before you now, turning away from the seemingly infinite expanse of water.  Even so, you shivered, and you were sure it had nothing to do with the weather.  Tucking your commlink into your waist pocket, loosing a long-kept breath, you stood from the stone and clasped your blanket over your shoulders.  With a final glance, chin to your shoulder, you appreciated the beauty of your first night here. 

Whatever awaited you tomorrow, the next day, and in the weeks to come? It would remain.  For now, just this one moment alone, you could pretend that everything was okay.  Just for a moment.

A soft touch brushed your shoulder, but when you turned to meet whoever it belonged to, you found there was no one around.  But a light caught your eye, one that had not been there before.  Maybe that interruption to the dark captured your attention, but not at all was it what kept your gaze above the gardens.

Through the clear night, a breeze danced through the flora, glittering scarlet petals into the shadows.  Above those dwindling rubies, leaning over the balcony’s curve, was Kylo Ren.  Behind him, the golden light of his quarters caressed his back, small fragments draping over the sharp, toned muscles of his shoulders.  He was staring down to you, his gaze laving along your figure, eyes those of a predator aware their prey was no match for them.  The ever-heightening moon was all that lit his front, but it was enough.  No, so much more than enough.  Entrancing.  Captivating.  Beguiling.

Light cascaded along the taut strength of Kylo’s abdomen, his broad, thick chest emanating with the smooth white of the dusk’s sun.  Once more, like it always did, the scar skating through his features kept your attention.  From a distance it was less intrusive, but its presence sank your heart like the sun had wandered into the sea.

A whip of night air pushed his hair back to tease his ears, his head slightly cocking to the side when you found his eyes again.  There was no color to them, none that you could see so far away, but you felt their heat slink along your lips, then your neck, over your chest, and lower still.  When they claimed yours once more, they were sculpted with steadfast steel, strong and slithering, ordering your compliance to the smoking promises beyond.

Without noticing, that chill from earlier had left you, and you gathered the blanket so it hung from your forearm.  Kylo held you with his eyes, the fire’s warmth falling away when you stepped off the platform and wandered, in leisure, down the steps and into the plush lawn.  A dew was readying to form on the grass beneath your bare feet, the coolness welcome under his blazing attention.  One step, two, another, and a final; small, shuffling, like you were hypnotized – truthfully, you could have been, but there was none but your own intent in the steps that carried you closer to him.

Only when he straightened to his full height, standing away from the balcony’s edge, did you halt your advance.  He paused there, watching you, so gracefully still you were unsure of his breathing.  From his new position you could no longer see his hands, but – you could feel them.  A pressure along your cheek, your heart stammering at how its span so completely matched his own, and then around your throat, dizzying when it teased your carotids.  Breath shivered from your slack mouth, catching when that – his – ghosted touch skimmed down your sternum and pushed into your rib cage. 

Kylo made no sound, but when the night’s quiet scattered around your faint, gasped moan – feeling the whispered hands smooth over your hips, around the front of your thighs – you saw his jaw flutter, darkness and moonlight tangling when he gave you one final glance.  The phantom touch left, a feline smirk flickered along his lips, and when his brows descended and veiled those deep, deep eyes, Kylo turned and sauntered out of sight.

But you understood his message, the silent one that only his body spoke, and you knew that his leaving was not goodnight, but an invitation.  One you fully intended on accepting. 

The trees swayed above you, the beds of perfectly spaced flowers blowing with the gentle breeze and combining with the sea behind to fill your head with the salty, fresh aroma of a Canto Bight night.  Each step you took along the patterned grass shimmered anticipation through your veins, heady, wanton thoughts brimming in your mind.

The cold stone that marked the ground level’s patio shocked through you, wet crimson petals that had pooled below the trellis now clinging to the soles of your feet.  You did not have time, or at least were desperate to not waste any, to pluck them off, allowing them to travel with you as you led them up the curved staircase.  As you climbed the steps, you stole a fleeting glimpse of the bay; from this height the city’s nightlife sheened along the shore, a few private ships zooming above the skyline and carrying their passengers to events unknown to you. 

Events that you could not have cared less about, not when you arrived to the second-level balcony, not when you saw the swaying curtain beyond Kylo Ren’s open, waiting door.  No, those events meant nil, exceedingly so when you found the beginnings of a trail leading into his room, the first crumb that of pooled, discarded athletic pants. 

Instant, overwhelming chills clamored about your skull, the blanket draped over your arm joining the black bottoms when your limbs went wobbly.  Through the wind-swept gossamer you spied the second addition – one long, impossibly large, black sock – and when you came closer, the cool of night waning as you met the threshold, your heart thrummed louder at the nearing shaft of light that fled the refresher’s entrance. 

Heated tiles warmed your first steps into Kylo’s room, the coquettish curtain kissing the tip of your nose before the door at your back locked shut in near silence.  You brushed past the veil of fabric and took in your surroundings, quite different from what they were earlier.  The golden rays of morning had since been overridden by soft panes of night, only the moon reflecting onto the light tile, not a single star to join it.  The bed’s canopy remained shut, its thin sheets cascading around the bed so there was ample space to walk within its soft confines.  And from that canopy, from the circular track above, bloomed delicate, mild light; it melted midway down the canopy, fading to nothing before it breeched the polished ivory below.

Another step and you noticed the trail of scarlet, dew-drop-covered petals you were leaving in your wake.  On the step up from the bed’s level lay a second sock, so you padded to it, and tuned into the sound of heavy, rushing water that became louder as you delved further into the dimly lit room.  This level was dark save for the glow of the open refresher; you followed that light like a lost vessel in space, hands trembling as you passed through the sitting area with soundless strides.  Finally, as you’d calculated at the earlier bareness of his chest, you found the piece of clothing that signaled your final destination lying at your feet.

Atop the refresher’s threshold lay a pair of black boxer-briefs – unfolded, just as they’d appear fresh off the heated, muscled body from which they’d come.  A smile played at your lips, remembering how the pair he’d so generously provided you the morning after you’d first slept next to him had hugged your hips with subtle compression.  Those, unfortunately, were undoubtedly obliterated with everything else that had exploded with Starkiller. 

Kylo Ren was nowhere within view, but running water tucked behind a corner to your left, and when steam swirled around an inlet that bordered a sleek, unbroken wall of ash-grey tile, your lungs lit with need, with want, your thoughts only focused on the body and man that waited for you just beyond view, just out of reach.  Suddenly you became aware of how overdressed you were, so you turned to your right and found a mirror that ruled its own wall and plucked open the top button of your uniform.

The fogged silver expanse provided a blurred, softened outline of your near-bare body, scalding goosebumps scraping up your neck at the thought of Kylo’s slicked, dripping body.  Hands hooked behind your back, you loosed your bra and smoothed the straps down the sides of your arms.  And then all that covered you were the lack-luster panties the Finalizer had provided all those months ago, but they soon joined the small pile at your feet, leaving you naked and anticipatory and adamant.

Plopping your watch onto your clothes, you squared your shoulders, fixed your posture, and approached the heat of the hidden shower.  Its warm embrace evoked such a calm through you, first loosening your shoulders, then steadying your breath.

Beyond the smoke hued barrier was a chamber of luxury, the water cascading from above like it came from an invisible storm cloud; its volume suggested a harsh pressure, but, stepping beneath the jets that seemed to span the entire stall, your skin was graced with the pleasant fall of a spring shower.  Looking up, blinking through the misted warmth, you found the navy night sky peering down at you through the clear glass ceiling.

All light but that of the moon left the stall, and when your attention shifted down, you saw him through the sheets of water that kept you apart.  The air was thick with fog and mist and night, but he remained the most devastatingly gorgeous person you’d ever seen, ever known.  You needed him to be closer, you needed to be closer to him.  No matter if you’d been with him those few nights ago, and though you’d spoken just hours ago, there was a tautness that tightened as your steps brought you to him. 

Arms at his sides, stance strong and confident, Kylo Ren was a stride away from you, and you stopped.  Inky black hair dripped down his neck, and his mouth was set in a flat, unreadable line, but all you could think of was how it felt you were seeing him for the first time all over again.  He was different now, body scarred and worn from the passing of time.  You did not stare at the red and black that had only been there for such a short time now.  You appreciated it.

Kylo observed you, and a measure after your gaze followed the ebony ribbon rested in his countenance, you lifted a hand to it.  He tensed and you caught his eyes, giving him a small nod before the very tip of your fourth finger kissed the start of his scar.  You watched him, vaguely aware of your hand slipping along the marked path through his brow and down his cheek.  Breath pushed from him in eased waves, his eyes danced between yours, and when you reached the line of his jaw and tapped your finger to the raised, pinking skin there, you closed your eyes and leaned up on your toes so you could press an aching kiss to it. 

That tenseness that’d clanged into him at your touch was instantly gone, the heated streams above not a match to the stifling relief that fogged from his nares.  So near to him, a second hand pushing through wetted, onyx locks, you remembered how he’d stared up at you on the Command Shuttle, how unreadable his expression was when his new scars had still been fresh wounds.

Your touch found the tail end of his healing flesh, and you swallowed down a thick, betraying sob.  “Why did you believe me?” you whispered, not looking up to him.  “When I told you I hated you and I wanted to quit.  When I said,” you winced, “when I called you a bastard and said I wished I could forget you.  Why didn’t you fight it longer?”

Kylo was quiet for a moment, body still but not reluctant to the steady meandering of your fingers.  Something haunted him when he said, “Irredeemable bastard, if you’ve forgotten.”

“No,” your throat bobbed, “I haven’t.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day.  Any, any part of it.” Looking up at him, you smoothed your hand over the scar settled into his shoulder.  “After that morning, after everything, why did you believe me?”

“You were saying goodbye,” he murmured, like he’d mulled over that day time and time again and never considered the possibility.  “Before Takodana.  You knew.  He’d gotten to you by then.” A note of betrayal sharpened his tongue, a snarl lighting when he referred to Snoke.

The hand that wasn’t tracing circles along his scarred muscles now toyed with his ear, the tip of your index finger molding to the curved pinnae.  “Kylo,” just a breath, nearly drowned by the water ricocheting at your feet, “answer me.  Please.”

Smooth, low, he began, “Because who could-,” he swallowed, considering you before starting over, “Because I’ve never known anyone who didn’t hate me.  And I’ve always been a bastard.  So when you said those things, after that morning, after you’d ran through Starkiller to tell me and kept saying them…”

Memories fluttered behind his eyes, and as their burning brown centered glittered against the navy night, you lifted your hand so you could hold his face, hold it like a parent would caress their child’s tear-sodden cheek.  Kylo blinked back to you and you comforted the purpled skin beneath his eye. 

He did not want to voice the answers you sought, but you watched as, piece by piece, you dented one of those walls he’d erected in that time-stained interrogation room.  Perhaps it was a hopeful thought, but you swore you felt him ease into your hand.

“I stopped fighting because only a fool counters the truth of his life.” Kylo’s throat bobbed, his deep, shadowed gaze swallowing you whole.  He caught your hand and led it flat along his broad chest, and then to the panes of his abdomen, placing it over the bruised, raised flesh of the scar you’d yet to explore.  “I believed you because there was no reason to doubt you.”

The showering heat from above shielded that which was blurring your vision.  He believed you because he believed those things of himself.  After seeing him wear so many masks, physical or phantom, you saw it in his eyes that he still thought those things and had for his entire life.

And then it made sense, and the realization dragged jagged, thorn-wrapped talons through your heart.  You whispered through the water, wondering if you were speaking only for yourself when you said, “That’s why you didn’t look inside my head.  You didn’t think it would show you anything different.  You didn’t think I could ever feel differently.”

You ran your thumb along the uneven ridge of the scar forming over his side and tucked your other arm around his waist.  With the force that kept moons anchored to their planets, you pulled him in and nestled into the notch of his breastbone.

Through your teeth, “You are not a bastard.  Or irredeemable,” your fingers dipped to the center of the healing tissue, “I’ve learned that we make the choices we think are best, and if that’s true, if I believe it? What do either of us have to be redeemed for?”

Kylo said your name, clear as the night that loomed overhead, and a patient finger tipped your chin up.  “Nothing.  Because there is no redemption for those who do not want it.”

Intensity hardened his face, and once more you felt that sense of equality between him and you.  Long fingers smoothed into your drenched hair, and you found a prompt in his brow.  Sighing, lungs stuttering, you asked, “What, then, if not redemption?”

The hand that he’d set over yours shifted to your hip, thick fingers prodding at your flesh.  Kylo’s touch left your chin and the pad of his thumb rolled over the faint scar that cut into your hairline, a twinge of pain lighting at the memory of its origin; it had healed days ago, but you would never forget the sound of it cracking open when Robbie knocked your skull against the durasteel door. 

Kylo stopped musing when he heard you wince, his eyes meeting yours in a stark, unwavering gaze.  He smoothed over the blight a final time and proceeded to skate his fingers along your jaw, his thumb coming to rest over your bottom lip.  Similar to this morning, yet colder and with a quiet fury breathing beyond his eyes, he looked at you with solidarity.

Calm, sure, adamant, Kylo said, “Retribution.”

A moment to process was spent in his gaze, studying how unbreakable it was, swimming in the shadowed hazel that poured into you.  Kylo’s eyes flicked to your lips, and before he could look away, you leaned up so you could reach his own.  The swirled hair at his nape slithered through your fingers when you swept you hand from his abdomen and up his torso.  Massive, enveloping hands trailed praise along your body until they were mirrored under your breasts.

Exploring his skin, your fingers took residence over the small of his back, digging red trails along the slick surface.  You moaned into Kylo’s mouth when a capable hand claimed your supple chest and kneaded into you.  He growled in response, a predatory sound that rippled through your nerves and tightened deep, deep in your belly.  The pliant pads of his thumbs circled your nipples, the very tips of his nails flicking upward before he added his forefingers and pinched the sensitive peaks to his will. 

Kylo mouthed the hinge of your jaw, the bridge of his nose slipping along the bone until you surrendered your neck to him.  He hummed against your artery, sucking away the beaded moisture that’d collected for the past few minutes – or had it been hours? Time evaded you further when the schemes of his tongue at your throat delved deeper, revealed themselves further when he laved at your clavicle, shifting between kissing and biting and marking as he made his way to your breastbone. 

His muscled back flexed as your fingers routed to his front, dipping low until you found the haze of soft, wet hair that grew from his pelvis.  Kylo continued his endeavors and pulled you in by the curve of your back so he could bare your chest to him and run his nose under the base of your breast.  His need for your body was evident in the way he bent you to his will, cradling your back so he could have you, but also permitting a sense of safety in the relentless strength that flowed from his forearms through to your marrow. 

Near limp in his hold, you tread your fingers down his pelvis and savored the feel of that patch of hair, feeling his pulse beat beneath it, reveling how water collected and fled in such a slow, teasing manner.  His chest was to yours, so you felt, rather than heard, the pleasure vibrate from him, deepening when you grazed the very foundations of his hardening shaft.  He breathed into your skin, mouthing at your breast and sucking painful paths as he went.  The heat of his mouth melded around your nipple, and he bit, and even when you winced and writhed with satisfied hurt, Kylo kept on; not until you were sure he’d drawn blood did his teeth – their unique ridges now throbbing into your breast – leave you, replaced by the salve of his plush, scorching lips.  The body of his tongue was structured with adamant, laving over your pebbled peak until poems of pleasure groaned from the depths of your chest. 

He leaned you back up and shifted his attention to the remaining half of your body, but you needed him just as much, and you wanted to litter his body with the same pleasure he’d given yours.  So, snaking your hands to his jaw, you kissed the hinge opposite to his scar and pecked harder and longer, sucking at his skin like the blood that bruised would grant you eternal life.  Falling to your knees in a steady, unrushed descent, you kissed every inch of his abdomen, every bump and ripple of skin that was present around the mending injury.  With eyes peering up, hands cherishing the fronts of his thighs, you tongued the scarred tissue and watched him shutter with ecstasy, eyes half-lolling, mouth slackening for a second before he swallowed down whatever satisfaction would have left him.

You teethed at the soft, raised skin, watching him, content when a guiding hand pet down your slick hair.  Shifting to his middle, you hummed from one hip bone to the next, feeling the tickle of hair that fled from his naval and dispersed in an even, thick layer of black atop his pubis.  Hunger ravaged your throat and you nuzzled into the soft bed of obsidian hair.  A kiss to it, then a nip, and then the tip of your nose swirled around the dark patch, his cock twitching at the side of your face.

Anchoring your eyes to his yet again, you dragged the flat of your tongue through the maintained, drenched hair and pushed both your hands along his inner thighs.  The muscles beneath your touch sang, streamed just as fluidly as the droplets that were trickling down your spine.  Pulling away from him, you faced his cock and observed how it bobbed with your eyes on it, watched it strain for friction when your hands teased both sides of his base, sifting through the dark curls beneath. 

The moonlight painted his shaft with subtle, breathtaking contours – a shadow cast under the spongey ridge of his head, light glinting off the misted moisture that’d caught on his flushed shaft.  Each prominent vein cast a winding whisper of darkness just a measure from the next.  It hypnotized you, the way they overlapped and crossed at points, bulging out from his cock and shifting with each throbbing pulse of blood that clamored through him. 

Curious fingers flitted along the heavy, hot column of flesh, tapping it and listening to the thickening breath from the man watching you through ravenous eyes.  A smirk curved your mouth, and you peppered a light, whispered kiss to his slit, pushing his cockhead just so it met your teeth, and leading your lips away so the teasing burned through him.  You pulled a hand away from his leg and sat back on your calves, taking a breast into it and kneading as he had before, plucking your nipple through each space between your fingers. 

“A teasing little whore tonight,” he purred, voice thick.

You hummed, pleased you were getting to him.  “I’m your little nurse, remember?” The tip of your tongue teased circles into his frenulum.  “And you are my master.  Isn’t that right? Master Ren?” Fuck, the title even got to you, cunt fluttering with the hope to be overflowing with him.

“Good girl, teasing whore, nasty slut? Little nurse? You have so many names now.”

“And all of them belong to you.”

You teased his tip and finally laved a flat tongue on the underside of his shaft, flicking it side to side and gripping into his structured, rippling thighs.  Something animal, completely primal, roared in his throat, and sooner than you knew, Kylo Ren had joined you on your knees, the weight of his cock slicking down your middle and slapping up to your slit when inertia bounced through it. 

A masterful tongue slipped into your mouth and licked your hard pallet, next dropping down and pushing against the side of your own tongue.  A muffled moan – one that you were unsure was his or yours or both – clouded through the shower’s downfall.  But then a throat-thick huff, aggressive and impatient, gnarled through the air and you were spun on your knees so your back was flush with his chest.

“Yes,” he rumbled, “they do all belong to me.” A possessive hand pushed you into him with might, taking residence in the valley of your breasts.  “Your names, your body.  Everything.” His hips canted, and the tip of his cock knocked against your clit, fire billowing in your belly, quicker and deeper now. 

“Everything,” you echoed, finding his free hand and guiding it so it lay over the permanence etched into your thigh.  “I’m- everything.  It’s yours.  I am yours.”

Unrelenting digits bruised more marks around the one he’d made prior, and when you felt his cock fall in line with your entrance, you thrust into him as he did the same, and you took all of him, at once, in one, fluid, aching motion.  An unabashed cry echoed euphoria throughout the moonlit stall.  Before you could fully recover from the first thrust, his hand – the free hand that didn’t remain under your own, clutched to your thigh – dipped into your folds and that blooming fire from earlier mushroomed at the graze of his thick digits against the buzzing nerves. 

Thrust after thrust after thrust, fucking into you and filling you to the brim and then some each time, knocking the air from your lungs and burgeoning those sweet spots within with each paced, violent pass.  All of that pressure combined with the winding circles and strokes he racked your clit with, you felt the breath of climax rise first in your chest, and then upward into your throat. 

Kylo was panting by your ear, sucking the skin behind, clutching you to him so it became uncertain where his body ended and yours began.  You hooked your arm above your head and clutched at his drenched tresses, flailing for a better grip and settling on clasping your hand onto the back of his neck.

“I feel you,” he groaned.

“Feel me,” you huffed.

“I know you.”

“know me.”

“You’re mine,” your name was laden with yearning claim, lilting from his tongue so it caressed your mind, body, and soul all in one fell swoop. 

“Yours,” you heaved, “all, yours.”

You came.  Simple.  Body swimming in the schemes his fingers and cock and tongue and voice forced into you until it became too much.  A few thrusts more and his pace faltered, cum spurting against your walls and dripping out of you as more and more left him.  Full lips pressed fleeting, lulling praise into your nape, your shoulder, until he angled your head to his and branded his lips to yours. 

Spent, emotionally and physically, you fell into him and enjoyed the image of his legs framing your own.  But then your eyes lolled shut and you simply breathed, settling into this moment as best you could, and tried to memorize the tide of his chest slicking against your back.

Barely aware in the vague, misty stall, you only realized that Kylo had begun cleaning you when he guided you back to your feet to rinse you free of soap.  Even then you just leaned into his chest and let the jets spray silken streams down your skin.  And then you were wrapped in a heated towel and cradled in his arms, leaving the steamy refresher and coming into the gentle atmosphere within the golden gossamer canopy.

With less than a word, maybe a breath, the light from above waned to nothingness, and the room was black save for the glinting eyes that studied your own.  The towel discarded to the floor, you now lay beneath the thick comforter and linen sheets of Kylo Ren’s bed.  Both naked, you huddled together in the center of the expansive mattress, legs wrapped together in an impossible knot, each breathing in the other’s warmth. 

Ease trickled into your muscles, and you shifted so your forehead could rest in the heat of his chest.  

“What changed? From the other night?” you yawned.  “What convinced you? About Snoke.”

He was tired, too, you knew, the hand tucking you into him tracing lazy, distracting circles into your back to keep him from sleep.  “Perspective, really.  Seeing things clearly for the first time in… Seeing things clearly.”

For now, fatigue caressing you, that was an answer you could accept.  He’d given you more of his mind tonight than ever before, and you did not care to mar that fact with a half-wit interrogation.  Perhaps you would listen to him this time, given how little you potentially had left, and do as he’d said this morning.

Trust me first.

It was sound advice, and not worth questioning on the eve of your first shift on Canto Bight.  So you nuzzled into him and giggled when the tip of your nose nudged that black healing ribbon over his collar bone.

“I like your scars,” you hummed.

You could not be certain, sleep plunging you into its riptide, but just before it pulled you under, you swore you heard the fatigued rumble of Kylo Ren’s voice whisper, “I like yours too.”

#keeping your promise #st kyp #kylo ren #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren smut #angst #fluff #ao3 #wattpad

[jewishtwilightrenaissance]

Two Become One

Notes: Since I myself am a Jew and both the culture & faith is really important to me, I wanted to add that into the story to add some depth and something for the characters to bond over. I got really emotional about it towards the end, but hopefully it just adds to the story!

Also, this originally started as a ‘Life and Death’ fic with Billy’s female version, Bonnie Black, but I really wanted to celebrate OG Billy first. So let me know if y’all want to see that, too!

Context & Plot: The reader is in their mid-20′s and has just recently moved to Forks. By being a member of the Forks Intracommunal Committee, the reader happens to meet Billy Black, a Quileute Council member who serves on the Forks Committee with her. They strike up a friendship that soon evolves into a romance.

Word Count: 3,048

“____!” A familiar voice cut through the din of the committee, drawing your attention from your notepad. You looked up and over your shoulder to see Billy Black wheeling towards you with a bright smile on his face. “How are you?”

“Billy, hi. I’m good,” you answered. As Billy approached the table, you nudged the folding chair on your right to one side to allow enough room for his wheelchair. “Meeting’s about to start. You got here just in time.”

He hummed in response. “I had a few things to take care of back home. Namely Jacob and the other kids,” Bonnie added with a chuckle.

Somewhere in your chest, you felt a muscle tighten. You’d heard plenty about the escapades of Billy’s youngest child, a rowdy teen who just so happened to be about 10 years younger than you. That in and of itself wasn’t a bad thing, but it did remind you that you were at least 20 years out of Billy’s age range. You bit back a sigh and turned your attention back to your notepad, eyeing your hastily scribbled notes and doodles.

You and Billy exchanged a few more pleasantries before the meeting officially started a few minutes later. A few local business owners and church leaders brought up whatever it was they had to say but in all honesty, you had trouble concentrating on them with Billy sitting right next to you. It was ridiculous - you were a mature adult who had left her puberty years well behind her, but sitting next to your crush made you feel like a teenager all over again. His long hair,  dark eyes, his smile - they were all so rich and full of life, full of energy just like Billy. And like a damn prepubescent, you’d fallen for it all.

A nudge against your thigh caught your attention and you blinked yourself back to reality. Billy was leaning in your direction, one arm braced against his wheelchair, and there was a note pushed into your line of sight. ‘Today is more boring than usual. I think I caught Hank dozing off.’ You let out a quick breath through your nose and bit down on the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.

Grabbing your pen, you wrote back, ‘I think I almost caught myself dozing off,’ and passed the note to Billy’s end of the table. Crush or no crush, Billy was also your best (if not only) friend in Forks and you loved the absolute hilarity of passing notes with your 40+ bestie in the middle of class a meeting.

Eventually, the meeting came to a close and it was your turn to share with the committee (and hopefully no one would be ignoring you like you had been earlier). Energy was thrumming in your fingertips as you anxiously gathered and regathered your notes and pen, 15 sets of eyes on you. You cleared your throat.

“So as I hope you all remember, Forks’ spring interfaith gathering will be in 2 weeks time on the 21st. First, I want to share how excited I am.” By now your nerves had turned to eagerness, and you rubbed your palms together with a smile. “But I also want to say thank you to everyone here for allowing me to run this event, seeing as I’m so new to the community. I especially want to thank Father Thomas, Pastor Martinez, Pastor O’Callaghan, and Billy Black for working with me and allowing me to work with their communities. It really means the world to me.

“I also have some really awesome news regarding the event. As you all know, there are no synagogues or notable Jewish communities under an hour away from Forks. But I’ve managed to reach out to a few Jews individuals and families in the county who are going to be reading some prayers and scripture with me. Other than that, I don’t have anything else to update you on. But I’m excited to see everyone there!”

Some scattered applause and supportive remarks followed your announcement before the committee leader brought the meeting to an end. After fielding a few questions about the event, most of the committee members had started to leave. Billy, you noticed, had stayed behind, as if he was waiting for you. Or so it seemed, if the curious shine in his eyes was anything to go by.

You raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Yes?”

“I received an interesting letter in the mail this morning,” Billy said, the corner of his lips twisting into a knowing smile. Your cheeks immediately flushed and you dipped your head to avoid his gaze for a moment, as if you’d been caught red-handed with your hand in the cookie jar.

“You did, huh?”

Billy laughed; music to your ears. “You really didn’t have to send me a thank you card, ____.”

You shrugged, looking up a little shyly through your eyelashes. “You’ve made me feel really welcomed here, Billy. Not just as a fellow committee member, but as a friend. Inviting me into your home, introducing me to your family, everything! It really means a lot. I-I... I just wanted to show you that I appreciate it.” And, you added to yourself, I guess it doesn’t hurt that I have feelings for you.

There was a tenderness to Billy’s eyes that made you feel some type of way. You could tell he was touched by your gesture.

“Thank you.” He backed away from the table and waited for you to follow suit. Once you had gathered your things and pushed your chair in, he started wheeling alongside you, keeping pace with your footsteps. “If your offer still stands, I’d be happy to come over tonight.”

You could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat. When you first sent out Billy’s letter, you’d invited him to come to your place for Shabbat dinner as a way of showing your thanks and also respect for his culture by sharing yours in return. You may have also had a little bit of wine at the time and had plans on making the evening romantic-coded.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d really want to join me or not,” you said hesitantly. “But-”

“I do. Like you said, there aren’t many Jews around Forks and certainly not out in La Push. It would be good to learn more about your people and traditions, the things that are important to you.”

You caught Billy’s eyes and smiled. “Like you did with me.”

G-d, you were such a sucker for his shining eyes. Deep and dark like the forest itself, like the rocks and sand on the beaches, like rich coffee grounds at the bottom of a mug.

He nodded. “Yes.”

By now, the two of you had left the meeting room behind and were in the parking lot outside. The sun was peeking through the heavy cloud cover while a gentle misting of rain swirled in the air. You could see that Billy’s truck had been parked a few spaces away from your own.

“It’s close to 4:30,” you said after checking your phone. “I’m lighting my candles around 6 tonight. Did you want me to give you a ride to my place or would you like to come over a little later?” You’d hardly given Billy a second to think before adding, “I still have some cooking to do, but you’re more than welcome to relax while I do that.”

Billy nodded thoughtfully. “You have any beer?”

“I may have one or two cans that I saved just in case you were ever over,” you admitted.

“Then what are we waiting for?”

Shabbat evenings were always hectic for you and this night was no different. Between keeping your challah from burning, keeping an eye on the clock, ensuring the rest of the food was kept warm without overcooking, and making sure Billy felt comfortable and welcome in your home, you were sure you’d gained a few gray hairs. Luckily, though, dinner was ready at about the time the sun finally set and the twilight hour descended.

After setting the challah on your best dish (your challah board and cover was still missing in the abyss of your unopened moving boxes), serving up two plates of food and placing them just so on the table, you dug out your candlesticks and shabbos candles. Billy watched you silently as you wrapped the bottom of the candles in foil and balanced them in the candlesticks.

“The candles are meant to stay lit until they burn out,” you explained. “It’s just easier to clean up this way.”

You fidgeted with the silverware at your place setting, then the vase of flowers in the center of the table, then finally sighed and let your hands fall to your sides. You’d been so anxious about wanting to put on a good first Shabbat impression for Billy that you’d forgotten the night was meant to be enjoyable for both of you.

Billy, it seemed, had picked up on your anxious energy and kindly said, “It looks wonderful, ____.”

“Thanks.” You chewed on your bottom lip somewhat thoughtfully, giving the table a final glance over. “I suppose we should start before the food gets cold, huh?”

You pulled out your chair and settled down as Billy moved his wheelchair into the open space across the table from you, his hat placed on the couch behind him. The tiny box of matches rattled when you slipped out a match and lit it. The warm, comforting glow of the candles soon followed and you felt your anxieties dissipate in response. You circled your hands once, twice, three times over the flames, drawing their light in towards your body. You took a breath - in through your nose, out through your mouth - and let your eyes flutter closed, your hands hovering above them to block out the extra light.

“Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat.” Then again, in English. “Blessed are You, Adonai, Ruler of the Universe, who sanctified us with the commandment of lighting Shabbat candles.”

When you opened your eyes again, you looked across the table at Billy and saw the reflection of the candles flickering in his eyes. In that moment, bathed in holy light, he was stunning. You gasped and smiled and committed the moment to memory as he gazed back at you, wordless yet clearly moved. Your cheeks were already starting to hurt from smiling so broadly.

“Shabbat shalom, Billy,” you all but whispered.

His eyes, large and all-consuming in their beauty and warmth, drew you in. “Shabbat shalom.”

After the lighting of the candles came one of your favorite songs, the song that welcomed in peace the Sabbath angels into your home. You offered Billy a short explanation of the song’s meaning before finally singing your own rendition. He was silent the entire time and you hoped that he didn’t feel left out at all, but the emotion shining in his eyes told you that your worries were the farthest thing from the truth. Next, came Eshet Chayil, recited in English from your old siddur. And finally, Vayechulu and Kiddush.

Your voice started out as a whisper, recalling the holy memory of creation and the day of rest as first practiced by G-d Himself. Prompting Billy to repeat after you, you raised your glass of wine. “L’chaim!” There was an indescribable joy in seeing Billy participate in your culture, in hearing him say something as simple as a mere l’chaim and knowing that he honored it, respected it, and honored and respected you as well. It was because of that realization that your heart swelled with pride and tears threatened to choke your words as you finished the Kiddush blessing.

“Blessed are you, Adonai our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who has sanctified us with his commandments and favored us. And given us in love and favor his holy Shabbat as an inheritance, as a remembrance of the act of creation.” Here your voice faltered. In the presence of someone you loved, in the presence of the Sabbath angels and even the Divine Presence itself, you felt the calling of your people. “For this day is the beginning of all holy days, a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt. For you have chosen us and you have blessed us from among all the nations.” Indeed, you were chosen. Like those who had come before you, G-d chose you to be His, to be given the gift of His commandments. And in this moment, you were choosing to share that inheritance with Billy, to give him a window into your world to see it in beautiful detail. “And you have bequeathed us your holy Shabbat in love and favor. Blessed are you, Lord, who sanctifies Shabbat.”

Both you and Billy were left speechless once the final words of Kiddush left your lips. You felt raw and exposed, bare for Billy to see every detail, every flaw, every crease and line from your body down to your soul. Is this how he had felt when he brought you to the reservation and showed you his own traditions, welcomed you into his home and shared the stories of his people? Did he know how highly your regarded him, his people? Did he understand that you could see that same regard in his eyes as he watched you now?

Your voice cracked when you finally spoke again. “Billy.” You swallowed nervously as a number of mixed emotions began to bubble inside you. “Thank you for being here tonight.”

“It’s my honor.” His voice seemed raw.

You reached across the table with an open hand. He gently placed his hand in yours and you both smiled. “Can I tell you something?” He nodded, his eyes again catching the light of the candles. “I like you.” Cringe. “I really like you. More than a friend.” Billy remained silent, only raising his eyebrows in an entirely imperceptible expression. “I know this might be weird to you. I don’t know. And, I mean, the chance of you also being interested in me is so low. I get that. No matter what, I want to be your friend. But... but having you here tonight, after learning about you and your people, the traditions you hold dear, and after sharing my own with you, I realize that I want to share more with you.

“I want to hear more about all the trouble Jacob’s getting up to and how your daughters are doing. I want to hear more about what you have to say about the things that are important to you, even if it’s just some stupid football game.” Billy chuckled and squeezed your thumb. Your heart was pounding deep in your chest as if it were going to explode. “I see you, Billy. And I know you see me, too. And I never want to stop seeing you.”

The room was silent. So silent that it was almost uncomfortable, except for the occasional crackling of the candles. Billy, still quiet and with an unreadable expression, slipped his hand from yours and moved his wheelchair back. Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. You retracted your arm as if you’d been burnt and held it against your chest. You wanted to look away, you didn’t want to see his expression turn angry or disappointed as you were sure it would, but you also couldn’t tear your gaze from those deep, dark eyes.

“Fuck, Billy, I’m sorry.”

Your face fell into your hands. What the hell had you been thinking? What had started out as a beautiful evening was starting to go to shit all because you had to open your dumb mouth.

“____.” Billy’s voice drew you from your inner-scolding. He moved around the dinner table and came to sit beside you. “Don’t apologize.”

By this point, the several sips of wine that you had taken earlier were starting to create a buzzing sensation in your stomach. And Billy’s sudden close proximity was making the buzzing more intense. Oh no.

You felt the skin of his hand rest on your arm; he was warm. “You’re right,” he whispered. “I do see you. I always have.”

You and he had never been quite this close before. You could see in detail the creases at the corners of his eyes, the few stray hairs of his eyebrows, the stubble along his neck and chin. You wondered what aspects of your face stood out to him as his eyes flitted across your features. Billy’s smile was what finally did you in. Were you blushing? You suddenly felt very hot.

He moved his hand from your arm and pushed himself forward until his knees bumped against your chair. Turning in your seat and folding one knee under you, you were able to fully face him. Billy’s gaze dropped to your mouth and paused, and you suddenly either felt like flying or like vomiting.

“Billy?”

You couldn’t have said anything more if you wanted to. Billy leaned forward, took your chin in his hand and guided your mouth to his. Like his hands, his lips were warm. His warmth spread across your mouth and down into your chest where your heart was doing backflips. Blindly, you pawed at his arms, his jacket, trying to find something sturdy to hold onto to remind you that this was absolutely real. Billy’s hand trailed from your chin, across your jaw, and around the nape of your neck where his fingers finally curled into your hair.

A sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan escaped you and Billy swallowed it. Gently and hesitantly, you gave him a little nip on his bottom lip. His lips parted just slightly, his breath hitting your teeth, and you quickly ran your tongue along his skin. He smiled, gripped your hair a little tighter, and then pulled back.

This time when he said your name, it was sweet, reverent. “You’re certainly full of surprises,” he murmured.

You smiled breathlessly. “What can I say? I have no excuse.”

“Thank you,” he said again. “For telling me, for tonight-”

“The night’s not over yet.”

Billy smirked. “No. No, it’s not.”

#billy black #billy black x reader #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight oneshot #jewish reader #jewish stuff #gil birmingham #writings

[shangrila11]

Dreams do come true // Roxas (KH) x F! reader [Soulmate! AU]

You yawned as you made your way to her bed. It had been a long, hectic day (but enjoyable since it was your birthday) and you wanted nothing more than to catch some z's. You flopped onto your bed and snuggled yourself into it, trying to make yourself as comfy as possible.

"I wonder if I'll meet them..." you wondered as her eyelids grew heavy. For so long, you had been wondering who your soulmate was, how they were like personality-wise, what they looked like and whatnot. And now that you had reached the age when one would usually meet their soulmate, you would be getting those answers soon. Hopefully. With that thought in mind, you drifted off into dreamland.

                                                               xxx xxx

The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was the colour blue, from the semi-cloudy sky above you to the mirror-like ground below you. 

"Wow. What is this place?" you gasped, looking around in amazement. It looked gorgeous and looked like something out of ...well, a dream. You took in the breath-taking scenery for a while longer before your eyes laid on a cloaked figure some distance away from you admiring the view as well. Their back was facing you so the only other feature you could see was their spiky blonde hair. 

"That should be them" you thought. With your heart racing in anticipation, you approached them, creating ripples with each step you take.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" you asked when you were near them. The figure jumped a little and turned around to face you.

"Who are you?" the figure, now revealed to be a male, asked with a frown. Now that he was facing you, you could see that he had eyes the colour of the very place you were standing right now. It then dawned on him. "Oh. You are that 'soulmate' person that Axel has been telling me about, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," you nodded. You wanted to ask the male more about this Axel person but thought it was too soon for that. You extended out a hand, flashing the male an affable smile. "I'm (Y/N), by the way, and you are...?"

"Roxas," the male replied simply, taking your hand to shake it.

"Nice to meet, you, Roxas," you beamed. Roxas hummed in response and then retracted his hand. A somewhat awkward silence ensued for a while before you spoke up. 

"So what do you want to do?" you asked.

"Well... I don't have anything in mind, actually," Roxas shook his head. "But I'm fine with anything so I'll leave it up to you."

"Ok," you agreed. You tapped your chin thoughtfully for a moment before an idea popped into your brain. "Oh, I know!" You snapped your fingers and the place soon turned into a kitchen.

"Let's do some cooking! What do you like to eat, Roxas?" you grinned.

"...Sea-salt ice-cream," the blonde male answered. He said it with such a serious expression that you stifled a giggle.

"What?" Roxas frowned, slightly sulking.

"Sorry. The way you say it with such a straight face is pretty funny," you, unable to hold it any longer, laughed lightly.

"Haha, at least someone's amused," Roxas remarked wryly, rolling his eyes. But there was a hint of a smile on his face. "So how do we go about with it?"

"Let's see..." you began. A recipe book appeared in your hands and you read it. Roxas went over to look through it with you as well. Your shoulders touched as the two of you read together. You felt a little self-conscious about the fact that the two of you were so close to each other but decided to pay no heed.

"This is also my first time making this, actually, so I'm not sure if it'll taste like the one you're used to but let's give it a try, yeah?" you smiled at Roxas warmly. Roxas nodded. Together, the two of you made the ice-cream.

A while later, the two of you were holding their finished product with satisfied smiles on your faces.

"Alright. Let's dig in," you grinned. You and Roxas took a bite of the ice-cream. 

"Mmm... this is pretty good," you commented. The saltiness and sweetness of the ice-cream complemented each other well. Roxas nodded.

"It tastes almost like the one I usually eat back home," he agreed. He went quiet for a moment before continuing, "You know, you're not too bad of a person."

"Awww... I think you're really cool as well," you beamed sweetly. 

"Huh. That's good to hear," Roxas answered nonchalantly. "Oh, and happy birthday." A necklace with the roman number for 13 materialised in his hands. You gasped. It looked stunning.

"Axel told me that when it is the birthday of one half of a soulmate pair, they will meet the other half. Since it isn't my birthday, I figure that it is yours," he explained. "So... do you want me to put it on for you?"

"Oh! Err... yes, please," you, still feeling surprised, nodded. Roxas moved closer to you and carefully put the necklace on you. Your heart thumped wildly against your chest but you kept your composure.

After the necklace was put on, you clutched the pendant fondly.

"Thanks, Roxas," you smiled at him. "I'll treasure it."

"It's nothing," Roxas replied. Their surrounding was slowly becoming brighter now, indicating that it was almost time to wake up. "So I guess I'll see you again later tonight?"

"Of course," you beamed. From that day on, the two of you hung out with each other in their dreams every night, joking, chatting and doing activities together. Roxas was really good company and you enjoyed spending time with him. However, at one point in time, he forgot who you were. You were, of course, devastated. But at least he was still the same Roxas you knew and he did eventually get his memories back. You were overjoyed when that happened, so much so that you shed tears of happiness. Roxas, too, seemed delighted to finally remember you but felt guilty at the same time as he apologised to you repeatedly and held you close to him. Still crying, you assured him that it was alright. From that day on, the two of you grew closer than ever and even more so after a particular incident.

That day, you and Roxas were hanging out in your dreams, as usual. You remarked that the two of you hadn't met in reality yet and asked if the two of you could do so. However, to your disappointment, Roxas (nicely) rejected your offer.

"Why not?" she asked, dismayed.

"If I tell you the reason, you might find it hard to believe," Roxas explained. 

"Try me. I haven't even heard the reason yet so how can I judge whether it's believable or not?" you replied, gazing at him firmly. Seeing the determination in your eyes, Roxas sighed.

"Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you," he answered. He then went on to explain that he was a Nobody, that he was currently residing the heart of his original persona and everything else you needed to know. He answered whatever questions that you had as well.

After Roxas's explanation, you went silent. Noticing this, Roxas looked at you in concern. 

"(Y/N)?" he asked, almost cautiously. What happened next threw him off guard a little. You wrapped your arms around him in a warm embrace without warning, surprising the male. 

"(Y/N)?" he repeated.

"I didn't know you had been through so much," you remarked softly. "Also, I noticed that strange things have been happening around here but I didn’t expect it to be something that major. And for that, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I didn't want you to get involved in all of these and that's why I didn't tell you until now," Roxas assured you.

"But still I could have done something," you countered, but not too harshly. You broke away from the hug and took Roxas's hands in yours, squeezing them gently. "Now that I know, from now on, do tell me what I can do to help and I'll do everything in my power to provide that assistance. You deserve to be your very own person, after all."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks," Roxas smiled. He paused for a moment before continuing, "You know, I was initially not too enthusiastic about this 'soulmate' thing. I don't like the idea of being forced to have feelings for someone." Your heart almost sank at his words but fluttered soon after when Roxas gazed at you tenderly as he said the next few words.

"But if it's you...  I guess I don't mind," he finished. He then averted his gaze away, his cheeks tinted red. "Man, I can't believe I just said that." You stared at him for a while before a giggle escaped your lips.

"Oh, Roxas. You can be so adorable sometimes."

                                                         xxx xxx

Some time had passed since then and now you were currently strolling along the streets of Twilight Town with Olette, Hayner and Pence.

"Thanks for helping us at the old mansion the other day," Olette thanked you with a warm smile.

"No problem. I did promise Roxas that I would help him," you smiled back.

"You mentioned before that you meet Roxas regularly in your dreams, right? So how is he like?" Pence asked. Your other two friends expressed their curiosity as well.

"Well... he may seem stoic at first but once you get to know him, he's a pretty nice guy," you smiled. You placed a hand over your heart. "He's someone I hold dear." But then you noticed your friends exchanging sly looks at each other and your cheeks immediately heated up.

"I...it's not what you guys think!" you stammered.

"Oh, really? Then why are you reacting like that?" Hayner teased. "Besides, we're all from the same town, you know? You think we don't know the meaning of you and Roxas being able to interact with each other in your dreams?"

"I... I... well..." you stuttered, getting more flustered by the minute. You and your friends were so engrossed in their conversation that she didn't notice that a certain blonde, a male with spiky red hair and a female with short, black hair had spotted the four of them.

                                                     xxx xxx

"(Y/N)? Hayner? Olette? Pence?" Roxas called out. The (H/C)-haired female froze before slowly turning around to face him. Hayner, Olette and Pence followed suit. 

"Roxas?" his soulmate gasped, her face a picture of shock. "Is that really you?"

"Mmmhmm. It's me," Roxas nodded. Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes. She then tackled him in a hug, nearly knocking the wind out of him. But he didn't mind it one bit and accepted the hug.

"It really is you," she whispered. "So they've found a way to let you live a separate life from Sora?"

"That's right," Roxas agreed. He then broke away from the hug so that he could introduce Axel and Xion to (Y/N), Olette, Hayner and Pence, and vice versa.

"Ah, so you're Xion and Axel! Roxas told me a lot about you two," (Y/N) smiled, shaking their hands one by one. "It's nice to finally meet the two of you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Xion beamed ever so slightly.

"Huh. Glad you got our names memorised," Axel grinned. "And call me Lea, by the way."

"Of course," (Y/N) returned Lea's grin with one of her own. Lea and Xion exchanged greetings with Olette, Hayner and Pence after that and before long, everyone was making small talk. Laughter filled the air as they conversed with each other. Seeing his friends getting along with each other and that Olette, Hayner and Pence were not that different from the ones he knew, a small smile crept across Roxas's face.

"It must be nice to see your friends again," a familiar voice commented. Roxas turned around to see (Y/N) smiling at him.

"... Yes, it is," the blonde-haired male concurred. "I never thought I would see this day come. It's all thanks to Sora, our friends and of course, you." He smiled at her, his gaze soft.

"I didn't do much, really," (Y/N) laughed lightly.

"That may be true but it means a lot to me," Roxas answered firmly. "You being able to interact with me in our dreams makes being inside Sora's heart feel less... lonesome, as cheesy as it may sound. And you did help Olette, Hayner and Pence out at the old mansion despite the danger, didn't you?"

"I supposed that's true," (Y/N) agreed. "Thanks, Roxas."

"It's nothing. I'm just speaking the truth," Roxas shrugged. However, there was a hint of a smile on his face. The two of them then went to continue chatting with their friends. Even though neither of them had said it out loud, the two soulmates were glad to finally meet each other in person at last.

(Inspired by the prompt: Imagine that soulmates just have this ability to dream together/meet each other in your dreams regardless of whether or not you two meet in real life. Your dreams could then be like a real-life video game, for example, you two could be in a zombie-apocalypse type of dream and you both would try your best to help each other out. If one gets bitten/dies you wake up and your soulmate is there to tell you everything is alright or tease you how you couldn’t shoot fast enough and then you’d both go back to sleep and maybe start round two, found on tumblr)

(Picture does not belong to me. Credit goes to  梅野つぐ on pixiv)

#kingdom hearts #roxas #roxas x reader #soulmate au #fluff #romance #oneshot

[multisfabulis]

Wayfinder’s Voyage

Terrestrial (Chapter 2 | 2)

Word Count: 6427

Fun fact, the last part of this chapter was written and finished during Terraqua week on Twitter so this marks the second time I've written a fic for a ship and the ship week just happens to roll around when I get around to writing it. Maybe lightning will strike twice around this time next year!

While I was reading fics on AO3 over the past day, I noticed a couple things. One is that the two people I read the fics from put more thought into their works than I did and I spent a month and a half writing both these chapters. The other is that my interpretation of this ship is vastly different from others which isn't a bad thing! I think my years of writing my original ship of Verreth has gotten me to stay with the "slow" aspect of slowburn with plans of payoff being sometime in the future. I do plan on writing payoff for this ship someday, just at some point in the undetermind future!

One last thing is there's a timeline with this fic! It's not super necessary to know but for those wondering, there's 4 scenes in both chapters and it goes Aqua 1 > Terra 1 > T2 > A2 > A3 > T3 > A4 > T4. Hopefully, that's not confusing!

Read on AO3 | Read on DA | Support me on Ko-fi!

     Today had been a good day, thought Terra as he headed towards the library. He was coming from Aqua’s room after finding that she wasn’t there and figured she’d be at the library studying. They’d finished their daily training earlier so he wanted to spend some time with her before evening rolled around. Besides, he wanted to thank her for helping him out with his magic skills, or lack thereof. It was only because of her guidance he was able to do what he did today.

     He felt like he was in top form. He mastered new techniques for his Keyblade, learned to use some strong magic, and even earned Eraqus’ praise. This was honestly a great day and he wanted Aqua to partake in his revelry. She needed a break from studying anyway so this was as good a time as any.

     He stepped inside the library through the grand set of double doors. Tall bookcases lined the walls from top to bottom, left to right. Sunlight poured in from the great western window, causing the tables sitting in the center to cast large shadows all across the tiled floor. He looked at where she usually sat and, while there was a stack of books and some paper lying on the table, she wasn’t there. That struck him as odd since she normally put things back where they belonged. If she wasn’t in her room or here, something must’ve happened.

     He searched all over for her but he still couldn’t find her. There’s no way she left the Land of Departure so she had to be somewhere. The only place he hadn’t checked yet was the mountain, which he was unsure about. She never ventured far from the building and that was when she was outside but it was the best guess he had. He ran out the front door and down the stairs leading up.

     He didn’t need to look very far. He found her sitting on the edge of the Forecourt with her knees drawn up to her chest, looking off into the horizon. This had happened enough times for him to know she was deep in thought over something. Whatever she was thinking about, it was affecting her to the point she wasn’t acting like her usual self and he couldn’t just ignore her.

     She didn’t seem to acknowledge him when he sat down beside her. He decided to give her some time to see if she wanted to speak first. A moment or two of silence passed before it was made clear he had to be the one to break the ice. Starting off with a question looked to be the right way to go.

     “Everything okay?”

     He saw the corner of her mouth curve up into a tiny smile and she replied, “Yeah, I’m just…thinking.”

     “About what?” he asked.

     She leaned back and let her legs hang off the edge of the Forecourt. “The future, I guess.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Our future as Keyblade Masters, I mean.”

     That caught him off-guard. She wasn’t one to worry about the future, least of all them becoming Masters. She never thought of it as an if, instead an expectation to meet one day, so to hear her say those words concerned him somewhat. The only possible explanation he could think of was that she was starting to doubt herself and her abilities as a Keyblade wielder.

     Of course, that made no sense. Despite her modesty, she’s proven her strength and capabilities more times than he could remember to both him and their master, not to mention she had the heart to show for it. He had the confidence in believing she’d pass her exam with flying colors and become a pretty damn good Keyblade Master. Maybe she just needed to be reminded of that?

     “Hey, if you’re worried about not becoming a Master, I don’t think you have any reason to,” he said in an attempt to reassure her. “Me and Master know you’ll ace your Mark of Mastery exam and---”

     “You don’t understand, that’s exactly what I mean!” After shouting that, she leaned forwards and put her hands in her lap, keeping her eyes fixed on them. “Sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

     So he was wrong, which left him even more confused on what was going on than before. “Then what are you worried about?”

     Breathing in deep, she answered with, “We said we’d become Masters together one day, right? But what happens if we don’t? What if only one of us passes and the other fails?”

     “You mean, if you were to pass and I were to fail?” Was that really what she was tearing herself up over? It’s a possibility that’s stuck with him for a while now and, though he’d prefer it not happen at all, it wouldn’t bother him too much if it came true. “Well, if it happens, it happens. It’s not up to us on whether we become Masters or not, you know that.”

     “But I don’t want to be the only one who passes.” She finally looked at him for the first time since this conversation began. “I don’t want to be a master without you, Terra.”

     Her earnest sincerity flustered him, causing him to avert his eyes away from her gaze as his heart fluttered wildly about. There was a part of him that, admittedly, was touched by her devotion to him. It was just like her to want that and share the enjoyment of hitting that milestone together. But what kind of friend would he be if he let her give up on her dream? It may have been theirs all this time but she stood a real chance at getting it and she deserved it.

     “Aqua, as much as I understand how you’re feeling, you shouldn’t pass up on being a Master for my sake,” he said, hoping that he was getting through to her. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

     “But I don’t want my title to come between us. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want you to…” she trailed off. Looking her way revealed her hands to be clasped tightly together in her lap. Even without that little indicator, she didn’t need to finish for him to know what she meant.

     He slowly reached over, took her hand in his, and held it to ease her shaking. “I could never hate you, Aqua. You’re my friend and I just want you to be happy.”

     When she didn’t respond, he continued on, “That’s why I promise that, if you’re the only one of us who passes, I’ll support you 100% all the way.” He gave her hand a firm yet gentle squeeze. “I give you my word.”

     She stiffened beside him yet she didn’t try to take her hand away. The only sound that broke through the quiet was the ambient noise surrounding them. He watched as her shoulders shook and she wiped unshed tears from the corners of her eyes. Even so, he could see a small smile on her face. Sometimes, all she needed to hear were words of encouragement, which he was more than happy to provide.

     Eventually, she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Now it was his turn to act like he got hit with electricity. Before he could say or do anything more to react, she whispered:

     “Thank you.”

     He hoped she couldn’t see the defeated yet tender smile he had. There was a reason he felt something akin to fondness for her when she did something like this. He liked this part of her, even if it did leave him feeling like a fish out of water sometimes. He rested his cheek against her in an attempt to return her affection. Whether she’d realize that or not remained to be seen.

     “You’re welcome.”

     They stayed like that for as long as they could. From watching the sun set over the horizon to greeting the night sky together, they stayed. Their only witnesses were the stars above them as they twinkled in the darkness.

     Terra let out a yawn as he walked down the corridor leading to his room. He had just gotten back from doing some late night training outside and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. It was tiring yet rewarding, which gave him hope he’d get stronger the longer he kept at it. If he had any chance at becoming a Keyblade Master, he figured this was his best shot.

     It was when he was reaching the library he noticed it. A dull orange glow was emanating from the crack under the set of double doors, which he found to be strange because who could be in there at this late hour? Master would’ve already retired to his chambers earlier in the night so it had to be the only other person living here. Was she still studying, even with it being this late?

     He pushed open the doors and stepped inside, his voice breaking the silence with a single call of her name. He didn’t get an answer and soon realized why. At the furthest table on the east side of the room, with stacks of book piled all around her, was a soundly asleep Aqua. The orange glow he saw before came from the small lamp sitting beside her just within hand’s reach.

     A smile split across his face when he approached her. Her face was buried in an open book and she was holding a pencil in her hand, as if she was writing things down before falling asleep. He’d believe it too, what with all the papers scattered around the table that were full of extensive notes just from a cursory glance alone. It was honestly kinda adorable seeing her like this. He’d ponder on the question of what to do with her but asking himself that yet again would yield no answers.

     Well, there was only one thing left for him to do. He slowly pulled her chair out, tensing up when it seemed she was stirring before relaxing. He set the pencil down beside a stack of books and carefully picked her up so as to not jostle her awake. This had practically become a routine at this point. Then he began the long trek of carrying her back to her room.

     It wasn’t like this was his first time doing this sort of thing. If anything, he’s had to put her to bed more times than he could count lately. He didn’t mind helping her out every now and then but this was starting to turn into a problem. He hoped she wasn’t pushing herself too hard to the point of exhaustion. While her hardworking nature was a trait he greatly admired her for, it was a double-edged sword. He was worried that it’d lead her to an early grave if she didn’t slow down some.

     There was little doubt in his mind she was running herself ragged. She trained and studied hard on a daily basis and that wasn’t even taking into account all the cooking, cleaning, and management of him she decided to put on her shoulders. She seemed more like a mother than a girl two years his junior. Just because she was his fellow apprentice didn’t mean she needed to bear so much responsibility. If only she'd take his words to heart instead of shrugging them off like she usually did.

     They soon made it to her room. He opened the door and carefully maneuvered his way inside with her in his arms. There wasn’t much to remark on in here, aside from the organized tidiness of it all. It was something he always tried to strive for with his own room but he could never quite get on her level. He set her down on the bed, pulling the blanket up over her since it was around that time the weather cooled some. When it came time for him to leave, he left the room and shut the door but not before silently bidding her goodnight. If there was anything he wanted for her to have tonight, it was a restful night’s sleep.

     Now what? Maybe it was perhaps a good idea to clean up her improvised office so it’d save her some time tomorrow. He knew her well enough to know she’d rush over to the library to do the exact same thing the moment she realized she woke up in bed and not there in her chair. It was the least he could do. With a weary sigh, he trudged back to the library, feeling that this was going to be a long night.

     What if he became someone she wouldn’t need to look after anymore? Part of the reason why she didn’t put herself above others was because she was too busy taking care of everyone so it was up to him to lighten the load. If he could show her he’d be fine without her worrying, she might finally think of herself for once. The more he thought about it, the more right it felt. He was going to become a man who could be independent from her so she could get some well-needed rest. It was the best solution he had to this problem and he had to make it work.

     Eventually, he was inside the library again and at her table. His first order of business was to put all the books back in their place, which meant taking apart the stacks, reading their titles, and searching the empty spots in the vast bookcases. Then the papers strewn about had to be organized and put somewhere she could easily see tomorrow. Oh, tonight was going to be a long night, indeed.

     The first few books were easy to find and return. It was when he got to the more complicated ones he had to do a double-take because these were advanced. These were books he was absolutely positive they didn’t need to learn from but she certainly was, if her notes were anything to go by. Just flipping through the pages let him see how complex and intricate everything was for an apprentice to learn yet she made it seem so simple, so straightforward. He had to give Aqua major props for understanding all this since he sure as hell couldn’t.

     Her intelligence was just one of her many amazing qualities. There was her strength, her kindness, her selflessness, her ambition, her determination, even her modesty, although he wished she’d realize the praise heaped upon her by both him and their master was rightfully earned instead of it being said for niceties’ sake. She was a person he was proud to call his friend and he had all the confidence to believe she’d be a superb Keyblade Master. Admiration didn’t come close to how he felt towards her yet it was a small step before falling into adoration.

     He’s known for a while he’d developed feelings for her. It was hard to pinpoint when he became so enamored with her but the way he’s viewed her definitely changed the more they aged. She stopped being a friend a long time ago and was turning into a girl he may or may not have been falling in love with. Everything on that front was a mess of jumbled up knots that would take forever to unravel. His method of dealing with these was to express them quietly, convey them in a way she wouldn’t suspect there being something deeper. He had no idea of when or even if he’d confess because he wasn’t sure there’d ever be a right time.

     Now definitely wasn’t the best time. They needed to focus on their exam and romance should be the last thing on either of their minds. Even the future didn’t seem certain, what with the choice they were supposed to make when they did surpass the rank of apprentice. One would stay and succeed their master while the other would travel to other worlds to protect them from invading Heartless. He didn’t go further down that depressing train of thought. He had plenty of time to decide on when would be good so he didn’t need to worry too much on it.

     Maybe he could tell her when he became independent from her. The day she realized she wouldn’t have to look after him anymore, he’d tell her. That sounded right. It was still a far off dream but it was a dream he could see now.

     He’d wait for that day, no matter how long it took. A part of him almost wanted to believe he was looking forward to it.

     Terra ran inside the ravine, looking behind him to see if the Unversed would dare follow him in. The twisters carrying them still raged on outside and he hoped they’d stay out there. He kept his Keyblade trained at the entrance, ready to defend himself at a moment’s notice. He waited and waited till it became clear they weren’t in hot pursuit of him for him to dismiss his Keyblade, thanking whatever higher power there was for the brief respite.

     The only relatively safe place he had was further inside the ravine. He began walking, running a hand alongside the wall to help keep himself steady as the world spun around him and his body ached. It was about halfway through he collapsed from the exhaustion, falling to his knees while struggling to breathe. He needed to take a break. If he went into battle like this, he would surely lose. He shifted himself into a sitting position and leaned his back against the wall, closing his eyes.

     How did it all end up like this? The dream he worked so hard to achieve, his lifelong dream of becoming a Keyblade Master, slipped from his grasp just when he thought he could reach it. Ven, the boy he saw as a little brother, the friend he swore to protect, was being hunted down by an entity who meant him harm and would stop at nothing to ensure his demise. Aqua would want nothing to do with him after she found out what had happened and he wouldn’t blame her for washing her hands of him. That was if she hadn’t done so already. Then their master, the man they all saw and looked up to as a father figure, he…

     His eyes burned with tears threatening to spill over. He never hated Eraqus, they may have argued at times but he never hated him. He took him, Aqua, and Ven in, raised them as if they were his own, and only wanted what was best for them. Sure, he wasn’t perfect but what parent was? He may have fought him and Ven earlier but he showed genuine regret and wanted to make amends to them both. Terra didn’t want to hurt him, he was just trying to protect his friend, so why? Why did he have to die? He didn’t deserve such a fate, especially one dealt to him by his apprentice and former friend’s hand. If only he could rewind time and try to reason with him, try to undo his death so they wouldn’t have the grief of losing him weighing on their minds. Yet he had no such power so it became another sin he put on his cross to bear.

     How was he going to explain what happened to Ven? The last time they saw each other was when he cast him out the portal before fighting with their master. He was still alive, that much Terra knew, but he didn’t know where he ended up at. The one thing he had to know, though, was why Ven was willing to die by Eraqus’ hand. It wasn’t like he had done anything wrong so why? He didn’t understand what his friend’s death would accomplish, not like he wanted to if it did at any rate. When he eventually learned of the aftermath of that fight, Terra worried it might break him, if everything up to this point hadn’t already. A part of him almost believed Ven would revert back to the despondent boy he was when they first met and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever recover from that. It was a miracle he did over the past four years but this time…

     Then there was Aqua. With how he managed to royally screw things up with her, he had no one but himself to blame. He treated her so awfully, from the hearing of their exam results to their short-lived reunion in Radiant Garden. His first mistake was breaking his promise to her, which was to support her in the event she was the only one to pass and become Master, and she must’ve felt so horrible about it. It wasn’t that he was angry at her for passing, he was just upset at the whole situation that it buried the happiness he felt for her at finally achieving her dream. Then he lashed out at her after it came out she was sent by their master to watch over him to make sure he didn’t succumb to the temptation of darkness. It hurt enough to think Eraqus didn’t trust him but to believe she didn’t, either? Yet they were right. He was led astray so easily and they were all suffering for the consequences of his actions now.

     Everything, all of it, was his fault. If he wasn’t so trusting, if he just asked the right questions, if he wasn’t so weak, none of this would’ve happened. Xehanort preyed on his insecurities, attempted to turn him against his friends, and used him to kill the man he considered his father. Now he was going to destroy what was left of his family, along with Vanitas, and he didn’t know what to do. He only knew how to fight but would it be enough to save them? Or would it lead them all to their deaths? All he wanted was to go back to the night he, Aqua, and Ven shared under the starry sky back home, blissfully unaware of the tragedy that would befall them. Was that too much to ask?

     Tears slid down his cheeks as he teetered on the edge of despair. Everything was just so twisted, so hopeless. What chance did the three of them have against a seasoned Keyblade Master and his loyal guard dogs? They might as well have been heading straight to their deaths with all the worlds falling into darkness as their consolation prize in this battle disguised as a cruel game. He was scared to die, scared of death and whether an afterlife really existed after passing on from one plane to the next. He didn’t want to die but it came for everyone at the end, regardless of their desires.

     Well, if he was going to die anyway, he’ll go out protecting his friends. This was his mess to clean up so he should be the one to fix it. Besides, this might be the only way for him to atone for his sins, right the wrongs he made. If Aqua and Ven could live out the rest of their days free from any danger that would harm them, then he’d face his death with dignity.

     With his energy replenished, he stood up and looked towards the exit. He hadn’t been this far into the Badlands so he had no idea of what awaited him at the other end of the ravine. He walked on and on till he came out and stopped. The sight that laid before him rendered him speechless.

     Hundreds upon hundreds of Keyblades stuck up out of the ground like markers and something resembling a crossroads cut through all of them. It was then he realized what this place truly was. This was where thousands of Keyblade wielders fought against each other in order to summon Kingdom Hearts, the conflict better known as the Great Keyblade War. These Keyblades represented, or what was left of, the people that fell in the battle, where they would rest for all eternity. How fitting then it was to die here at this scarred wasteland of a graveyard among the warriors of old. Would he meet the same fate as his predecessors did all those years ago?

     At the eastern end of the crossroads was Aqua. Their eyes met and hers held a quiet fury in them he had never seen before. They both walked down the paths ahead of them till they reached the intersection, where he could see her clearly now. There were healing cuts and bruises all across her body, no doubt from the countless battles she faced while on her journey, and there was a hidden sadness behind the anger. She knew and nothing he could say or do would make it all right. He was fully prepared for the emotional lashing her words would deliver unto him.

     She didn’t disappoint, laying into him all the pain and misery he brought to her, culminating in her placing blame of their master’s death onto his shoulders. She was particularly close to him so the news had to have hit her hard. Her eyes glistened with tears as he stayed silent and she demanded answers from him, almost begging him to say anything to defend himself. It hurt to hear her voice waver, knowing she was trying and failing to hold back the emotion. She didn’t deserve this. She deserved so much better than this. What kind of man was he, to cause the woman he loved so much pain and not be able to fix it?

     Ven appeared at the southern end of the crossroads. Soon as they both saw him, they exchanged a look and approached him. It was like an unspoken rule that, whatever was happening between them, it came second to Ven. He was their top priority and nothing could be any more important than him. That was the one thing they could agree on unanimously. He seemed just as tired as they were, though it was clear something was weighing heavily on him, evident by how he couldn’t look at them at all. Concern gave way to dread when he told them the reason behind his woe.

     He and Vanitas were to fuse together and create the X-blade so that Xehanort could use it to summon Kingdom Hearts and reset the universe. He wanted there to be a balance between Light and Dark, which this supposed reset would bring. That’s why Ven was willing to die by Eraqus’ hand. His death would foil Xehanort’s plan and potentially take out Vanitas along with him. Terra felt time stop when Ven asked him and Aqua to end him. How could he ask such a thing from him? He already lost their master, he couldn’t bear to lose what was left of his family.

     Before any more could be said, they were at the northern end. Xehanort, Vanitas, and that man he fought back in Radiant Garden. It seemed like an evenly numbered match but power had to be wildly scaled between the six of them. The final battle was here, Light vs Dark, the victor left up to chance. He, Aqua, and Ven all summoned their Keyblades and rushed in.

     His target was Xehanort, the mastermind behind everything. There was no way in hell he was going to let him get away with his crimes. He manipulated him to do his bidding, killed the man that was once a former friend to him, and would kill his loved ones if he didn’t stop him here. He swore he’d protect them till the very end, to his last breath, and he planned on upholding that vow.

     He would set things right.

     Terra’s eyes fluttered open to rays of light filtering through the curtains of the window, telling him it was early morning. He was on a bed, soft one at that, in a room he didn’t recognize slowly becoming bathed in sunlight. The room was like any others he’d been in before. Where was he?

     Only once it sank in did he begin to panic. He was in an unfamiliar room and he was out for what felt like an eternity. He couldn’t let this rare opportunity go to waste, he needed to reach out to someone for help before Xehanort attempted to shut him inside that place again. It didn’t matter who, it just had to be someone who’d listen to him and not think he was crazy. He tried to sit up but found he couldn’t. There were two weights on either side of him keeping him trapped there on the bed. Did Xehanort count for something like this happening and put measures in place so he couldn’t wander around freely? Whatever the case may be, he had to break out while he still had the chance and find help.

     It was then the memories of yesterday started to come to him. There was a big battle between Darkness and Light and those on the side of Light won. His heart was freed, the man possessing his body had been driven out, and he was reunited with his two dear friends. He looked down, as if to confirm that what happened did happen, and saw Aqua and Ven soundly asleep beside him. The anxiety that had seized him vanished, becoming replaced with relief and an exhausted sort of happiness he hadn’t felt in such a long time.

     It was liberating to be back in control of his body and his life. No voice in his head, no feeling like a passenger as someone else piloted him, he was himself again for the first time in forever. No longer would he worry if he was allowed to be out or if it was another one of Xehanort’s psychological games of war. No more losing fights for control as more and more of his identity was stripped away. He was Terra, he reclaimed himself, and he wouldn’t let anyone take that away from him again.

     A soft smile spread across his face as he watched them sleep. His grip on them tightened ever so slightly, thankful to be able to bask in this moment. They saved him, even when they were knocked down over and over, almost dying in the process. They all fought so hard to reach each other and their efforts were rewarded with a tearful yet happy reunion. He’d cherish that memory till the end of time. He almost lost them once and he’ll be damned if anything ever came between them again.

     They had lots of work ahead of them. An entire decade passed them by in ways no one should ever have to experience. While he was vaguely aware of the passage of time during his drifts in and out of consciousness, it still felt like only days since everything in their journeys happened. All they had were fragments of the lives they led, of worlds left forgotten, to help them start anew.

     Ven might have the easiest time adjusting to the changes. He spent those eleven years sleeping in the Land of Departure, though that wasn’t quite right. His body stayed safe at home while his heart slumbered within another. He was never in the line of danger, Aqua made sure of that. He befriended lots of people during his trip around the worlds so they were certain to be of big help to him. It’d be hard but he’d adapt quickly, Terra just knew it.

     Speaking of which, he might have a more difficult time. Pieces of him were scattered across different forms throughout the years so he needed to relearn what being himself was like again. Parts of what made him Terra had changed so much from how they were before, they could no longer apply to him now. He was, in some ways, a new person and he would never be the same man he was. He was going to be doing lots of soul-searching in the foreseeable future. His only hope was that he would like the person at the end of the tunnel.

     Then there was Aqua. She definitely had it the roughest out of them all and for very good reason. She traversed through the Realm of Darkness, fighting for her life while struggling to keep her inner demons at bay. She was only there in the first place because she sacrificed herself for him, which he planned on speaking to her about at some point in the near future. They met only the one time last year and their reunion was cut short by Xehanort seizing his chance to continue on with the creation of the X-blade. She needed to learn she’d be safe, that nothing would come and kill her if she wasn’t vigilant enough and whatnot. Her time in that hellish wasteland left her with deep-seated scars she may never fully heal from. He and Ven would help her with whatever she needed, whether it be supporting her at every step of the way or by simply listening to her. She wouldn’t go through this alone.

     None of them came out unscathed by their ordeals. Although it would take them some time to truly recover, both physically and mentally, it really helped to know they weren’t alone in this. They still did and always would have each other but they now had their newly-found friends to lean on for support whenever they needed it. It was kinda hard for him to wrap his head around just how many people would be there for them, especially him. Their master was gone now but there was no doubt in his mind he’d still watch over his apprentices from wherever he went. Their new life might be scary yet it already looked so bright.

     His eyes wandered over to Aqua again. He wanted to set things right with her, especially after all the pain he caused her. An apology for breaking his promise was the first step in the right direction. Then he was going to become someone she wouldn’t feel the need to look after anymore. It was because of him she ended up in the Realm of Darkness so he thought it’d be only fair to help her focus on herself for a change. She was a Master now and he was planning on catching up to her as soon as he could. That was a promise he intended to keep.

     When was he going to tell her? He originally wanted to do it when he became independent from her but his time away from people had taught him some important life lessons to remember. Loved ones were here only as long as they needed to be and time spent with them should never be taken for granted, like he had with Eraqus. He didn’t want to leave things unsaid between them, in the event that something happened and he was left unable to say what he wanted. They weren’t ready for that sort of relationship yet so he’d keep his cards close to his chest for just a little longer. Once they were in a better place and had worked through some of their issues, then he’d confess. Who knows if she’d return them?

     He couldn’t quite pin down when his feelings for her deepened into what they were now. He only really realized it when they were in the Keyblade Graveyard before their paths split apart so it was hard to say. What he did know, however, was that she became such an irreplaceable constant in his life. She was someone he confided in, someone who always thought the better of him, a light in the darkness that plagued him. She was his anchor, his dearly beloved. She became his Wayfinder, guiding him until he was back home to her and Ven.

     The whisper of three little words broke through the silence. He wasn’t able to admit it to himself back then but he now had a voice to vocalize them with. He hoped his feelings would reach her heart.

     “I love you.”

#airi's writing #terraqua #fanfiction #kingdom hearts #canon divergence

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

HELLO sorry i had an extremely busy past week so i left this to stew for weeks T_T (my term break was Not a term break in any sense of the word. f)

OH OF COURSE SHE HAS A BLACKLIST.... vietnam keeping a list of students who are Brats is really so valid.. i'm willing to bet that in future when that dubious list of students grows up many of them will go on to commit morally dubious acts lmaoo including yao himself. and if they get arrested or if rumors spread she'll just be like "lol called it"

Also yes go get her friendship Aditya hopefully it will mellow you out a little as well - YEAHH their personalities are like. polar opposites tbh because he's Dramatic And Extroverted and she's very much Not... but for some reason i can just see them really bonding (over things like coffee if i had to make a guess though i haven't really thought about these two in depth.. )

“Admissions officers think Yao’s amazing and contributes greatly to the classroom environment and Vietnam is like “yeah, in a way, as long as you don’t mind someone who thinks every word you say is somehow wrong and will fight you to prove it lol. just take him, I’m trying to get rid of him”

JUST TAKE HIM I'M TRYING TO GET RID OF HIM THIS IS SO FUNNY WTF also aww baby yao's Going Places!! he comes back for like teacher's day or something and vietnam is like "okay so how many of your teachers and your classmates have you antagonised" and yao's like "my teachers love me and my classmates fear me. or they're begging me to help with their homework. or they're potential friends/accomplices >:)" and vietnam is like ugh love to see that you're terrible as usual

Since there’s essays involved I’m assuming she teaches either history or literature? Kinda on the fence because I feel like she’d be good at giving a no-nonsense version of history filled with interesting details and prompts that make you think (and also hosts monthly debates on controversial issues), but I also want Yao to be as un-confident as possible in his abilities in her class, and I feel like he would be less comfortable/sure of his answers and thoughts in a lit class than a history one. I’m not sure though

honestly i would really want her to teach lit so bad but history would be so cool too.. as someone who suffered through lit for the first month of school (though i think i'm getting the hang of it now :D) i also want yao to suffer through the feelings of inadequacy when the teacher gives an evaluation that is COMPLETELY different from yours while also awkwardly trying to tell you your evaluation is wrong without crushing your ~passion for learning~ or something... but at the same time vietnam has such strong history vibes??? and they would probably clash over like different methods of historiography and methods for interpreting sources BUT historiography isn't really taught in-depth here at high scholl level ... And at the same time lit is the best place for one to feel Insecure so i really don't know because vietnam has such History/art vibes.. i think you should decide this i have no idea 😔

Context

“she'll just be like "lol called it"” that’s such a mood honestly, watching your former bratty students grow up to be bratty adults 😅 At least Vietnam’s predictions for the future are vindicated and she gets self satisfaction from it lol. (maybe she sends emails to them sometimes like ‘are you aware that people think you committed tax fraud’ and the reply is just a simple ‘yes. sincerely, Yao’ lmao)

ooh yeah I think they’d be interesting; definitely agree with what you said about India being really flamboyant and Vietnam being more honest/down to earth and definitely someone who hates when people put on airs (which Aditya does to a fairly large extent...). I think she’d like him just a tad more because he isn’t super condescending and gets along with his classmates pretty well; she knows he’s trying to impress her (lollolll they’re all trying to get teacher points for recommendations) but at least he’s friendly and participates in class and stuff. Also I think India’s good at small talk, makes an effort in getting to know people, and is very emotionally in tune with other’s feelings (even if he’s a bit stupid/oblivious sometimes) so even if Vietnam is kinda closed off to him at first (she’s nicer to him than Yao though, that’s for sure) he can get along with her quickly by picking up on what she likes talking about and accommodating her interests. Yao could theoretically be charming like Aditya but he just doesn’t make an effort lol. YES to bonding over coffee, especially raging about how Starbucks is Inferior™™™™ (idk if Aditya would drink coffee but I think Vietnam brews her own Vietnamese iced coffee at home and bring it to class because she needs Fortification for putting up with Indchuran lol.) However, I also want to see her popping his bubble and whenever he’s exaggerating one of his accomplishments, Vietnam just shuts him right down. “No, he actually didn’t go all out; I’ve had students turn in whole ass dioramas for that project so your meager offerings are nothing special :}” (Vietnam has the pleasure of crushing each of their egos in turn hehehe)

Yao came back to visit her!!! Looks like someone caught feelings (platonically ofc) :) She sees right through his excuses for coming back and is like “haha bastard you got sentimental and Attached to me >:)”, but then Yao proceeds to remind her exactly why that’s a bad thing lmao (also... what if... we smashed this au and bros for life together.... and Vietnam is the first person to see that they’re hopelessly pining on one of their visits to see her..........and she calls them out on it....o-o)

“"my teachers love me and my classmates fear me. or they're begging me to help with their homework. or they're potential friends/accomplices >:)"” LOVE TO SEE YOU’RE TERRIBLE AS USUAL ALDSjSDLSD Yao dashed my hopes of him becoming somewhat of a model member of society but seeing him as an unchanging bastard is still quite alright. Headcanon that Yao really hates helping with homework though, because he’s like “WHY DON’T YOU GET THIS” after about 5 seconds of trying to explain something. Pity, he would be good at teaching if only he had the patience for it :} Also I propose that he really hates that teaching isn’t enjoyable for him because it would be great blackmail material (i.e. “if you do this to me I’ll stop giving you the answers to the problem sets *winks in a threatening manner*”)

SAME literature is the one class that makes you thoroughly question your comprehension and understanding of everything in life everything ever written, but HISTORY. she would be such a fun history teacher and I can see her having her students really dig into events for themselves and make their own evaluations of why things happened and who’s “right”. YES THEM CLASHING OVER HISTORIOGRAPHY hmm... maybe we could get around historiography not being covered much by having Yao be Extra™? For example, maybe one day Vietnam offhandedly mentions there’s a lot of interpretations around x period (and whether it was a success or failure) depending on which type of historiography you subscribe to; Yao, who was already feeling strongly on the subject, does some research (“what is historiography” “interpretations of x” *rabbit hole of articles ensues*) and then goes to class the next day armed with 10 sources and a full on debate about the subject ensues, resulting in him being late to lunch by half an hour. 

What about a compromise, where Yao has a ferocious literature teacher (who??? idk) but Vietnam is teaching history, and when he gets comfortable in her class he starts complaining about the lit teacher and she thinks oh finally, a teacher that he’s intimidated by. I am at peace now. 😌. 

#the ancients elementary #the ancients secondary #??????? maybe????? #luyous #aph china #hws china #although.. in ap us history we did touch on historiography for like 1 class with regards to reconstruction after the us civil war and whethe #whether it was a failure or a success depending on what achievements you considered in which case maybe vietnams class is just advanced hist #history or something. anyways #aph vietnam #hws vietnam #aph india #hws india #musings #aph china headcanons #headcanon musings #hetalia #aph #hws #ask musings #answered #hws china headcanons #aph vietnam headcanons

[blu-archer]

A helping hand

Part 1 / Part 2 / Of the flower shop and bakery AU

Snz based again. 

zero warnings

Main Pairings: Jimin/Yoongi

Sickies: Jimin [and a mild Tae]

Hopefully this is somewhat enjoyable...

“Is this how you’ve felt?” Taehyung groaned as he shuffled into the kitchen. Shielding his eyes from the sun

Jimin immediately felt his stomach drop when he saw how flushed his roommate was. Tae hadn’t even bothered to change despite it being early afternoon. Although, Jimin could kind of relate. 

He hadn’t had the energy to do that at first either. The only real reason he had showered and changed now was because Jin had called in urgent need of a stand in, so Jimin was sucking it up and he was going to work through his cold. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad, and he could be eased back into work early.

“I’m sorry. I was hoping that it would skip you this time.” Jimin sighed, wiping his nose with the tissue he had been using. “Should have known better. You had a shoot right? Are you still going to go?”

Jimin knew the answer already but he just wanted to make sure in case his friend decided to be an idiot.

“I can’t go like this. I already called the lady this morning and asked if we could reschedule to next week. She seemed nice about it though, so I don’t feel too bad.” Tae sniffled and sighed as if it were his final breath. He linked his arms around the smaller man as he leant into Jimin’s side before frowning. “Are you going somewhere? Where are your sweatpants and Yoongi’s T-shirt?”

Jimin scoffed but felt his cheeks warm at Tae’s question. “I do not sleep in Yoongi’s T-shirts.”  He ignored Tae’s eye roll, mildly grateful that Tae wasn’t wasting any energy on calling him out properly. “Anyway, I have to go in to work now. Jin called in a panic a few minutes ago because Jungkook got into a bit of an accident and has to be taken to the hospital for stitches. Apparently he has Hobi and one of the morning bakers at the counter but neither of them really know what they’re doing so..”

Tae nodded in understanding as he moved to busy himself with making tea. Jimin, who had been emptying soup into a flask for himself before Tae had come in, grabbed a bowl to fill for his friend as well. 

Namjoon should be pulling up any second to drive Jimin to work so he had at to get ready as fast as possible and eating right this second was not an option. Driving him had been the only stipulation Jimin had had because if he walked in this weather he would definitely have to add a week onto being sick, and that wasn’t in his list of things to do. Missing three days was enough to start driving him crazy, he needed his old routine back. Not to mention him avoiding Yoongi was leaving him with a heavy, aching hole in his chest. Tae had been telling him to just let his boyfriend come and see him, but Jimin was not willing to risk scaring the florist off so soon, so eventually his friend had given up and just listened to Jimin complain lamely about how his life sucked.

“I was hoping that I would at least have someone to hang out with.” Tae muttered with a pout, breaking off to cough down towards his shoulder before taking the offered food and leant against the table that had rapidly become a sick station over the course of the past few days. “Jin is going to try get back and help you right?”

“I think so. It really depends how long everything takes with Jungkook, I’m not sure how bad the injury is so I can’t really say. But I’m sure Hoseok will stay with me. Yoongi said that his store has been relatively quiet lately.”

“Okay... Just don’t overwork yourself.” Tae said softly.

They hovered beside each other in a moment of content silence, well as silent as the two sniffling sickly men could be, especially with Taehyung in the mix. Jimin had just been double checking that he had grabbed all that he thought would be necessary when his phone blared to life, a swift glance telling him that it was Namjoon calling to say he was outside. Jimin grabbed his things before he gave Tae a quick goodbye hug, both promising to take it easy before he left the apartment and jogged down the stairs to meet Namjoon.

**

Jimin had immediately gotten to work on making coffee’s the second he walked through the door, a bit daunted by the line that was growing. Hoseok had been trying his best but from the mess on the barista station and the amount of scattered half full to-go cups, he could only imagine how long the poor man had been suffering through this. It didn’t take much to notice that Hoseok was drowning in his attempts. His usual smile and welcoming laugh were replaced by wide eyes, frantic hands and quiet cussing.

Honestly, what had Jin been thinking? Hoseok worked as a florist and the only other job he had had before that was as an assistant teacher at a preschool, what did he know about making coffee?

Despite his blood pressure rising from the instantly stressful situation, Jimin had greeted and bowed at the waiting customers apologetically, fixing on a face mask and gloves before finishing up the current order in record speed. Thankfully with the extra set of hands that actually knew what he needed to do, the pair quickly got into a steady rhythm of work where Hoseok manned the register and the collection of any baked goods while Jimin handled the drinks. It surprisingly flowed well and Hobi was able to sink back into his carefree character since he was no longer out of his depth.

It took probably just over an hour and a half, but they managed to get everyone inside served, most being to-go’s thankfully, so they didn’t have to worry too much on clearing tables. To say Jimin was exhausted might have been a bit of a stretch, but he was definitely well on his way there already. The past three days that he had spent sleeping or lying around did not help the fact that he needed to be awake and functioning for their Saturday afternoon rush.

“I think I need to sit down.” He moaned and coughed deeply into his arm despite still wearing his mask. His legs pained at having had to stand for so long.

And his voice was becoming hoarse again. It had showed improvement that morning but perhaps the activity wasn’t as great a plan as he had originally thought. He could feel his nose threatening to run as well, and the last thing he needed was to be induced into a sneezing mess just before they would get busy again.

Hoseok winced and pushed the spare chair with his foot closer to where he was standing slouching against the counter. Jimin accepted it gratefully, practically throwing himself into it before coughing again. He rested a hand on his neck as it gave a sharp pain, sniffling miserably.

“You’re really down and out this time.” Hobi said sympathetically, offering a bottled water. “I’m so sorry for having to get you called in. I honestly didn’t think it would be that difficult. I have since figured out that the only coffee I can make is instant and Americano. Everything else is off the table.”

Jimin waved off the water, pulling his roughly discarded backpack out from under the counter and onto his lap. He gave a final glance around to see that no one needed help before he was content with opening it and pulling out his flask as well as a travel pack of tissues. “It’s fine. I was feeling a bit better this morning – might be a bit rough right now but I’ll be fine. I’ve worked through worse.” He pulled down his mask and blew his nose as softly as possible. It didn’t stop him from still being blocked up or sounding like a walking plague. “Ugh. This is gross.”

Hoseok nodded subtly but his brows were pinched with concern. “You haven’t worked here in a worse state. Jin would have a heart attack if that happened. But still, you should have definitely still been resting at home. I don’t think Jin will take very long, it depends on how busy the hospital is I guess.”

“What actually happened?” Jimin asked sincerely. Jungkook wasn’t the type to be careless to the point of hospital trips so the sudden visit and ditching of work was quite worrying.

“It was so stupid.” Hoseok groaned, running his hands through his hair. “While he was serving someone, he noticed that knife – the long one that you guys use to cut all the cake slices to put on display, yeah well it was falling or something and he reached for it without thinking. I came for coffee but what I got was to see Jungkook pass out cold with his entire hand and forearm just covered in blood. He is so lucky that he didn’t fall on the knife. And I’m pretty sure that the customer is scared for life, I know I am.”

Hoping that Hobi was exaggerating some, Jimin took one of the coffee cups from the cupboard and poured in a portion of his soup, then looked to Hobi questionably. “Have you eaten?”

“Uh.. no. Not yet. I was actually supposed to grab something for Yoongi and myself, but then I volunteered as a stand in.”

“Do you want some soup? Jin dropped like a bulk amount off at my place and I’ve just been  reheating it in portions.” A small smile tugged at his lips at Hoseok’s own questioning look. “What I’m meaning is I didn’t make it, so it’s not contaminated or anything.” Jimin chuckled lightly, holding out the flask.

Hoseok took it gratefully but after a beat put it on the counter, running his hand through his hair again looking fractionally paler than before. “I don’t think I can eat anything red right now. Maybe I can take some over for Yoongi instead.”

Jimin hummed in agreement, murmuring a brief apology at not thinking about the colour and what context Hobi would associate it with. It was a tomato-based soup – not something Jimin was particularly fond of but he knew that Yoongi tended to enjoy it more than other soups. He vaguely remembered Yoongi mentioning it months back when Jungkook and Hoseok had been arguing about what the best foods were. Jimin wasn’t even sure why he remembered it so clearly.

“Why don’t you take something from the baked goods, and you can go next door again. You probably deserve some rest after all that you had to do earlier. I can handle here by myself or call one of the afternoon bakers to just step in temporarily.” He sipped his soup that was thankfully still warm from when he had transferred it to the flask. It felt soothing on his throat, even if it did make him need to blow his nose again.

“I can’t just leave you here.” Hobi frowned as he moved to grab a muffin from the display.

“You can come back if you want to, I just think you might need a break.” Jimin shrugged, tossing his used tissues in the bin before returning his attention to his food. “Rushes in the bakery are a bit different from rushes in ‘Spring Day’, but I’m more used to it than you are. Even if I’m sick I think I can manage. Should I make you two coffee before you head over?”

Hoseok sighed heavily but gave in, making sure Jimin ate a bit more before the younger slipped up his mask again and made up the coffee’s. Declaring them on the house to Hoseok as he waved at the man to go back next door.

He ignored the anxious glance Hoseok shot him from across the store as he was leaving when a couple entered the bakery, greeting the customers politely and responding to their small talk as playfully as he usually would. This was his job. It was something he was good at and he truly believed that he could hold out for an hour or two more without too much stress.

It was a bit difficult to slip into his normal role. He definitely wasn’t as talkative and he had to take more breaks trying to compose himself after particularly severe coughing fits, but most of the customers that came in were regulars and were both polite and sympathetic to the situation. Some of them had even heard about what had happened with Jungkook that morning, while others he had to try defend Jin’s honour in that he wasn’t forcing Jimin to work while so sick and that there was a genuine reason to him being there for couple hours.

Hoseok didn’t come back, but it was fine with Jimin. The rush he had been expecting had dwindled due to the weather, and those that did come more often than not tried to choose the easiest drinks to make in order to make his load lighter. They didn’t need too, but he was thankful that were so thoughtful anyway.

*

It was howling outside and even with all the doors shut tightly Jimin was still shivering from the cold seeping through his sweater. It had gotten much darker as well, and the rain that had disappeared for the last few days had returned in full force. His head ached and he had been stifling random sneezes that had seemingly been brought by the weather change for the last hour, quite frankly he was beyond annoyed at his crumbling state. He had even accidently dropped a complete latte on himself and had to deal with his jeans being covered in the cooling liquid for the rest of his time working. He was quickly giving up on his solo act and as soon as he had the slightest of breaks he was calling Hobi back.

Jimin had just set a small red cappuccino down on the counter-top when the familiar tickle in his sinuses became impossibly unbearable. He could vaguely hear Ms. Blake – the elderly foreign lady that had been coming to the bakery since its opening – questioning him on something, but he could only bring himself to mutter a quick apology before turning and half stifling his sneeze into the crook of his arm. The hitching and result being far more vocal than he usually was. Perhaps living with Tae really was affecting him.

He had hoped he would stop after one but that would be too much to ask for. He sneezed again, and again, until he couldn’t try to stifle it anymore. He was forced to lay a steadying hand on the counter as he hid into his arm. His mask was becoming wet and he cringed at how he must look right now. In front of a paying customer. And the town gossiper none the less.

Jin would be horrified.

He tried to apologise again in between shaky gasps but all that he had resulted in doing was giving a weird high-pitched whine as someone joined him behind the counter and pushed him down into a chair before addressing Ms. Blake with low and pleasant words that just fell short of audible over the buzzing in his head. Jimin would have thought that it was San or Yunho from the kitchen if it wasn’t for Ms. Blake’s need for conversation.

“Mr. Min? It’s so nice to see you neighbours helping each other out. Poor Jimin here looks just about to drop.”

Poor Jimin was about to now.

He was even more horrified that Yoongi was there and that he was having his worst moment in the day right in front of him. His timing was incredibly terrible.

“He really shouldn’t be here.” Yoongi said deeply. “But he has never been one to turn someone down when they need help. Hobi was over here helping earlier, so I thought it was my turn to have a round. Is there anything else you need?”

Hih’ITCHeww! Hih’hihITSHiew! Hi’INGXTuhhh!

Yoongi slyly slipped him what was left of his fourth pack of tissues. Jimin crumpled from his seat to practically hide under the counter, not daring to look at the elder man as he ripped his ruined mask off to try and clean himself as quickly as possible. He could hear Ms. Blake tell him that stifling was bad for him and that he shouldn’t be embarrassed, but he couldn’t bring himself to care much on her words at this point. 

Yoongi was here. 

Yoongi was here. 

Here.

 And Jimin was a puddle of sickness that probably looked like something that gets run over and tossed in the trash.

God, this was monumentally embarrassing.

Yoongi kept her entertained for a few more minutes before helping her pay and waving her farewell, not even bothering to wait until she had left before he was moving to kneel in front of his boyfriend. Jimin finally took that moment to blow his nose properly, internally dying at how wet and gross it sounded.

There goes ever being attractive in Yoongi’s eyes again. Jimin was actually disgusting himself.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Jimin felt a large familiar hand rest on his arm but he didn’t dare look or even open his eyes.

“Hobi said you were coughing quite badly, seems like everything is in full swing… you should have called someone to help.”

Jimin sniffled and curled tighter into himself. He knew that there was a chance of Yoongi coming over, but he had hoped that his boyfriend would be busy with orders or something.

“Min… Please look at me at least. Did I do something wrong?”

Shit. He didn’t want to make a small thing into something more, and truly, it didn’t really have anything to do with Yoongi. It was a Jimin problem and he was going to have to deal with it sooner or later.

“No, I-“ Jimin sniffled again, running his wrist under his nose when he realised that he had no more tissues. “I’m sorry, this is just embarrassing.”

Yoongi lifted Jimin’s chin so that he could see his face clearly. Frowning at the bright red that tainted Jimin’s cheeks and nose. “Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve seen you sick before, and even if I hadn’t, there is nothing wrong with it. You know… besides not being well, obviously.” Yoongi reached up above the counter to collect something while he rested a hand on Jimin’s knee to steady himself. “Here. I thought I’d drop in to just visit. I’m glad I was here at the right time to help.”

Jimin couldn’t stop the smile from forming when he saw the sunflower he had failed to notice earlier.

“I was going to bring something that represented good health, but I thought perhaps bringing something that I knew you liked might be the better option.” Yoongi glanced away to avoid eye contact as Jimin took the flower, coughing suddenly into his fist. “Since I couldn’t get one to you on Wednesday..”

Jimin ended up resting the flower in his lap while he pressed his wrist hard to his nose. Squinting through blurry eyes at the bright yellow petals contrasting against his black jeans. As much as he wanted to greet Yoongi like how he usually would or at the very least thank him for the flower and helping him, Jimin couldn’t seem to get rid of that stuffy buzz that had made a home in his sinuses. It seemed to ebb and flow as it pleased and honestly left him an unwilling victim to the mess it made of him.

“Do you need more tissues?” Yoongi asked gently, already reaching for Jimin’s bag with flushed cheeks. “You should go sit in the back for a bit. Jin is on his way back so you won’t need to be here much longer.”

“I-“

“Please go.” Yoongi said softly, running a hand through Jimin’s hair and handing him the last packet of tissues that Jimin had thought to bring. “Take a break. I’m annoyed that you had to come in at all. You’re definitely not well enough to be here.”

Jimin couldn’t bring himself to deny the claim, it was pretty spot on actually. His body dragged and his head and chest ached after what he’d forced himself to work through. He didn’t even raise a complaint when Yoongi helped him stand and led him to the small staff area to lay him down on the small couch there.

“I’ll be out front.” Yoongi told him softly as the elder draped his thick jacket over the sick mans’ chest and arms. “I know how to make coffee better than Hobi so don’t stress over it too much. If I need your help I’ll make sure to come get you.”

Jimin’s reply was cut off by a harsh grating cough that made him hold at his throat in pain. Yoongi stroked a hand down Jimin’s warm cheek, feeling the younger shiver lightly at the touch. He laid a final kiss to Jimin’s nose softly before hesitantly returning to the front of the bakery.

Yoongi’s head had spaced so far after what he had just walked in on that he could barely hear the light bustle of the two bakers in the kitchen as they shifted the next load of goods into their respective places in the back. In fact, he pretty much felt like he was living with his heartbeat pulsing loud enough to be heard as music for the bakery.

Was he really that obvious?  

With a sigh Yoongi sent Hoseok a text to be responsible for closing the store, then another much more annoyed text to Seokjin before he moved to clear the few tables that had had people at them – desperately trying to ignore the familiar heat that had crept under his skin the moment he had entered the store and laid eyes on the boy with messy pastel pink hair that he had fallen for.

#bts sickfic #Jimin is a hard worker #yoonmin #snz #sneeze #mild sick Taehyung #fanfiction #hobi is a mess #Jungkook is clumsy #Jimin likes sunflowers #Yoongi is sweet #vague namjin if you squint

[aurora-nuova]

Rude Love

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandom: Naruto  

Universe: Modern AU

Relationships:

Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara (main)

Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito (side)

Characters: Senju Tobirama, Uchiha Madara, Uchiha Izuna, Senju Hashirama, Senju Itama, Uzumaki Mito

@madatobiweek Week 4: There was only one bed OR Not realizing they are already dating

Summary: 

Summer sun, cool waves, a beautiful beach. Nothing could go wrong on this long awaited, blessed holiday to the sea, right? W r o n g!

Madara should’ve just pushed his best friend off of that cliff they had been playing on as kids when he had the chance.

Read on AO3

————————————————————————

Chapter 01: Something new

Madara startled awake with a curse on his lips when a cheering Hashirama‘s elbow hit the pillow his head had been resting upon but momentarily got distracted by a female speaker announcement.

“—and gentleman, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position and your seatbelt is securely fastened—”

Ah, apparently it was time for their airplane to land. And surely, looking out of the window confirmed it as no clouds were greeting him. Instead, the ground was rapidly closing in on them. 

Turning his head away from the window, he threw Mito—who was sitting on Hashirama‘s right— a tired but bemused look that she promptly returned when her husband started making quiet hooting noises at the bumpy arrival at their destination.

What a child, he thought fondly as he acknowledged a warm feeling making its way through his body. Though such mushy thoughts were only allowed in the privacy of his mind and were never to be discussed out loud or lest he got made fun of by Izuna or his other siblings.

Looking at his best friend, he sometimes wished he had half as much, well, or maybe only a third of his positivity. At least on his good days.

Though, on second thought, it sounded rather exhausting.

Maybe his slightly more realistic approach to life wasn‘t so bad after all, he mused as said best friend turned around to him with a beaming smile, not even having noticed that he had been the cause of his interrupted sleep in his glee. Returning a sleepy smile, he realized that Hashirama probably was positive enough for both of them. Or rather both of their close families, if he were to be honest.

It still amused him to this day that no sane person would expect this child of a man to be a renowned paediatrician but sometimes people were apparently wrong. Very wrong.

Because jokes aside, fortunately, Hashirama indeed could be serious when his patients and their parents trusted him with the children’s life. And doing so, he tended to them with unmatched enthusiasm and passion.

So all was good, he guessed.

Stretching his stiff muscles through a yawn, he noticed familiar tresses of long, dark hair sticking out from between the gap in the seats in front of him. Zeroing in on it with a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips, he nimbly stuck his hand through the gap to pull one of the bigger chunks of hair, only to immediately receive a satisfyingly high pitched yelp.

“OUCH! You ass!” Izuna screeched turning his head back around to him and hastily reclaimed all of his hair with a scowl, making Madara huff in amusement.

“Oh please, stop being such a drama quee-” the older of the two started retorting when suddenly his younger brother turned around in his seat somewhat—seatbelt still fastened, making the endeavour pretty awkward looking as he smushed his face between the backrests to make a grab for Madara’s own hair.

“No!” he groused out, leaning away from the squiggly hand. “Stop!”

“Payback‘s a bitch, Nii-san!” the younger Uchiha snarked back, voice muffled by the seat and continued to make grabs for his hair that Madara defended by slapping his grabby hands away.

“Children, please,” Mito‘s exasperated voice suddenly broke through their argument, making both of them stop—Madara crossing his arms while Izuna turned back around and untangled himself from the space between the two seats, arm almost getting stuck in the process.

“I‘m not a child, he is!” Izuna grumbled out as he was facing the right way again, missing the red head‘s amused but quiet laugh.

Wondering why the biggest child of them all hadn‘t joined them in their squabbling and actually kept quiet for once, the Uchiha looked back at Hashirama, noticing that he too had an arm moving, but in the right gap between the seats in front of himself. The Uchiha made a confused sound and nudged the taller man who then looked at him with a questioning smile.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to wake up Tobi and Itama, I saw them asleep when I left for the bathroom a few minutes ago,” the brunette answered with a sunny smile as the Uchiha hummed in acknowledgement as people around them started to get their luggage from the overhead stowage spaces to leave the plane.

Finally exiting the airport‘s sliding doors with their heavy luggage to walk into a metaphorical wall of humidity as the sun tried to roast them alive only made Madara close his eyes in misery. The heat was so much worse than he had anticipated.

Great

To be completely honest, he hadn‘t even wanted to come here in the first place, would have instead preferred a milder, more enjoyable weather for his long-awaited vacation but unfortunately, he had lost in the poll their two families had held to determine what this trip‘s destination would be as everyone except Itama and him had voted for this dreaded hot climate as their travel destination.

Surprisingly even Tobirama—currently dressed in long pants with a long-sleeved sweatshirt‘s hood and a pair of sunglasses covering his face—had wanted to come here.

Whatever, he would make the best of this holiday.

As it was, unfortunately, not all of their siblings had been able to come with them due to scheduling difficulties. However, they had already agreed on another trip in winter when hopefully their schedules would align a bit more smoothly with much more desirable weather, at least for him.

He already looked forward to it.

Something he could live without though, was the planning and scheduling part as arranging things for the six of them had been a logistical nightmare already. What with Itama having to hand his last thesis in the day before while Izuna and Tobirama respectively had to write their exams a few hours before their flight took off.

He himself probably wouldn’t even have been able to take time off on such short notice if his position at work as detective hadn‘t been so high and he himself and his good reputation hadn’t been so well regarded amongst their ranks and—no, he was joking. In reality he still had a few open favours with his boss and promptly used one of them to be able to be here with his family and friends when Hashirama had texted him the booking confirmation.

His boss obviously hadn‘t been too happy. But after Madara had helped out countless of times, sacrificing his free time again and again when needed, raked in so many extra hours, that he had accumulated a lot of those favours. And just to be on the safe side, had tied all loose ends at work in preparation which thankfully had swayed the man to agree in the end.

The Uchiha briefly wondered how Obito and his fellow colleagues were doing before Izuna chatting him up caught his attention.

Next thing he knew, they were leaving their rented cars parked outside an Italian restaurant and taking their seats around a big but crammed table as Hashirama had rejected the friendly personnel’s offer to push two tables together because apparently he wanted to cuddle in this inhumane heat or who knew why tree brain hadn‘t wanted the second table because Madara for sure didn‘t.

Smushed between Izuna and Hashirama, he could already feel the sweat run down his back as he pushed his sunglasses atop his head, tangling up a few strands of hair that he couldn’t care less about at the moment in the process.

“Get anything you want, it‘s on me to celebrate the end of the semester for our three youngest and of course, the start of our amazing holidays together!“ his best friend exclaimed when everyone had received their beverages and toasted all of them, resulting in clinking of glass and various intonations of gratitude amongst them.

After Madara downed his glass in one go and lowered it back on the table with a loud clink, he rummaged through his pockets to find a godforsaken hair tie. His hair was already uncomfortably sticking to the back of his neck. Frowning, he gave up when he came up empty.

Hashirama probably didn‘t have one on hand, as he only tied it for work and Mito used hair pins, which left him with only Izuna who was typing away on one of his social media accounts. Leaning over, he saw a snapshot out of the airplane window.

“Pretty picture.”

Izuna immediately shot him a dubious look.

“Okay. What do you want?” his younger brother asked with an expectant look on his face.

“Can‘t I compliment you without wanting anything?” he asked bemused.

“Oh please,” the other huffed out.

“Alright, whatever. Do you have a hair tie?”

Izuna took a terribly amused look at his horribly mussed up hair. The stupid humidity wasn‘t doing the older Uchiha any favours, making his usually wild hair poof up and stick out in an even crazier mess than usual. He was well aware but the brat didn‘t even try to stifle his derisive snort.

“Yes, but know that this will cost you a third of your dessert,” the little shit haughtily replied as he took a tie out of a bag between them.

“A fifth and you have yourself a deal,” Madara huffed, holding his hand out.

“A fourth and you have to order something I actually like,” Izuna countered, holding out the desired hair tie just out of reach.

“Deal,” he heaved out with a heavy sigh, accepting the cargo and tying up his hair into a messy ponytail, immediate relief flooding him, as the slightly less warm air of the ceiling fan caressed the back of his neck. Much better.

Madara shot his greedy brother and his mostly immaculate hair an annoyed look, when the other happily turned back to continue typing away on his smartphone.

He would need to steal whatever the little shit had used to wrestle his own mane into submission out of his luggage and use it on his hair tomorrow when the other inevitably would still be snoozing away the morning, since he liked to sleep in.

They had the same hair structure, after all, but he wasn‘t willing to pay the unreasonably high price his sibling surely would come up with as soon as he asked him about the product he must‘ve been using to tame their family brand of crazy hair.

Under no circumstances would he walk around like some caveman after today, though.

Right now everyone was still tired and mussed up from their flight, even elegant Mito, so his crazier than usual hair wouldn‘t be noticed too badly.

But starting tomorrow, that excuse wouldn‘t fly anymore, as everyone would attempt to look presentable for the undoubtedly many pictures Hashirama and Izuna would take in the span of their holidays. And seriously, latter didn‘t need even more blackmailing material, as he already had more than enough of that stowed away already.

But more importantly, tomorrow Tobirama wouldn‘t be so exhausted anymore that his head would look like it was ready to loll onto the table.

Seriously, the poor guy looked ready to fall off the chair any minute if it weren‘t for Itama on his left, holding him up in an embrace while happily chatting with him and Izuna squished in on his right, forcing him into a somewhat upright position.

The younger Senju seemed way too tired to even notice much today, belatedly reacting to any verbal or physical stimuli as far as he had seen.

In fact, the exhausted albino probably couldn’t wait until they finished their food and finally drove to the hotel so he could catch up on all of that lost sleep tonight. However, that also meant that the albino‘s sharp eyes would be scrutinizing and analyzing everyone and everything starting with tomorrow, so he needed to look presentable if not a bit nicer than usual at least.

Feeling eyes bore into the side of his head, he inwardly startled at being caught staring, as his eyes slid back over to Izuna who was wiggling his eyebrows and pursing his lips at him in an imitation of a kiss.

“Shut up!” he quietly hissed and shoved at him, hoping no one had noticed the idiot.

“But I‘m not saying anything!” the brat cackled, as he bumped into an unresponsive Tobirama next to him, subsequently rattling Itama who shot them a quick bemused but confused look.

“Just stop it, you ass,” he grumbled out, refraining from hitting his younger brother upside the head to avoid any additional spotlight from the chatting couple by his side to keep the cause of the start of the situation under wraps.

There was no need for Izuna to spout lies about him ogling the light haired man like he had a crush on him or something similarly stupid. Definitely lies. Shut up.

He avoided looking in the albino‘s direction for the rest of their duration at the restaurant, even when Izuna stole more than a fourth of his dessert.

But apparently things were still going too smoothly and the universe wanted to punish him for whatever sins he had accumulated over his life at once because right before they entered their hotel to check in, Hashirama abruptly planted his feet on the searing hot concrete under a palm tree and waved them over.

Oh god, what would this be about?

Judging by the massive grin on his face, it couldn‘t be anything good.

When everyone was situated around him, Hashirama clapped his hands.

“Alright, since we always, well, almost! Since we almost always do the same room distributions, I came up with an idea this time,” he revealed giddily.

“Wait, what?” Madara exclaimed confused as the taller man started rummaging in his pant pocket.

“We‘re drawing straws!“ the idiot exclaimed joyously as he held out a fist of sticks, receiving mixed reactions from everyone around him.

“Please tell me you‘re not serious?“ the oldest Uchiha replied with a sinking feeling.

“Why not?“

“Mito, your wife, is the only female in this group?“ he tried reasoning to no avail.

“Oh yes, that‘s why we‘re sharing a room!“ the stupid tree answered him cheerfully.

And it was that moment that Madara actually took a look at the sticks in his hand and noticed that there were only four of them. Opening his mouth, Hashirama immediately interrupted him.

“Because we booked on such short notice, they only had one room with two single beds, the other two are double beds. Mito and I will take one of those but there‘s still the question of who will get the other two rooms each,“ the older Senju explained with a smile.

“Still, it doesn‘t make any sense why we should draw lots in the first place. I don’t care in what kind of bed I sleep in with Izuna,“ Madara said scowling as he crossed his arms.

“But Itama and Izuna want to try something new and right now you’re the only one not agreeing,” the brunette said pouting.

“You didn’t even give me a heads up— Wait, what? Since when does snowflake agree to your stupid ideas?” he asked, throwing the two Senju brothers in question a confused look. One of them half asleep and not even listening, the other one pouting down at him.

After all, out of the siblings Tobirama was the only one stopping Hashirama’s mischief on a daily basis when things looked like they would get out of hand while the two younger ones loved to indulge in their eldest brother’s silly antics.

“Anija asked him on our way to the airport,” Itama helpfully supplied, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Do you really think that‘s fair? Snowflake has been closer to a walking zombie than a human being!“ he groused out, scowl intensifying.

Tobirama very belatedly pursed his lips in a pout and softly furrowed his brows but didn‘t react any further, making the older Uchiha feel all sorts of fuzzy and mushy things. God no. Trying to not show any emotion besides annoyance on his face was getting harder by the second.

“No offence, but that’s a very underhanded tactic for you, Hashirama. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days,” the older Uchiha accused to hammer in his point.

“But that’s the only way he agreed for once,” the older man admitted with a chuckle.

He zeroed in on Izuna when he too chuckled.

“And since when do you like trying out new things?” Madara accused his sibling.

“Excuse you! I try new things all the time and you would know that if you followed my social media accounts like you said you would!” the younger Uchiha answered scandalized with furrowed brows.

The older Uchiha groaned. Not this again.

“Is it too much to want some fun on this vacation?” Hashirama asked with one of his better renditions of a puppy look directed at him while Tobirama slinked off to sit down next to Mito on a bench not far from them.

Huffing, he shuffled his feet, looking around and tried to think of a way out of this.

Izuna would be his best bet of course. But if he had to share a room with Itama, things would probably get awkward pretty fast as they never had spent time on their own until now. However, Tobirama would be an even worse pick. Not because he had anything against the younger man but because of other things that he didn’t want to think about at the moment.

No, he wouldn’t play Hashirama’s stupid games this time. Why should he? Especially when his idiotic friend easily had taken himself out of the equation. Unfair. He was here to relax and enjoy himself.

Having decided against his best friend’s plea, he looked back to said friend only to freeze at the triumphant look on his face.

Oh no.

“What?”

“Have you forgotten? You owe me!” the idiot exclaimed with a wry grin.

Now it was his turn to furrow his eyebrows in incomprehension.

“You lost that bet at our last poker evening weeks ago,” the tan man replied giddily.

Madara’s eyes widened. He was right but he wouldn’t, would he?

“Are you seriously going to waste it on something like that? Hashirama, you wouldn’t, right?” he asked, rubbing his forehead to soothe his growing headache with a grimace.

He knew he was doomed, when three grinning faces met his.

“I absolutely would and I am henceforth officially claiming the favour you owe me!” the childish tree trunk of a man exclaimed laughing in glee, hands on his hips.

Suppressing another groan, Madara felt more sweat trickle down his back. Honestly, he could’ve done worse, he guessed. Hashirama could’ve used the favour to send him off to do much more horrible or embarrassing things. This was absolutely not ideal but whatever. What were the odds of him having to share a room with Tobirama, after all? Two to one against it, not bad at all. And he surely could make it work with Itama, too.

Being already fed up with the situation and the sun searing what felt like holes into his back, he decided that he didn’t care anymore as long as they could go inside soon. Preferably right this instant.

“Fine,” he conceded defeated, receiving surprised looks at his unusually short lived refusal and hooting from Hashirama.

“Alright, youngest first! There’s two short and two long ones,” the excited man exclaimed, holding out his hand with the sticks to Itama after he had shuffled them behind his back. “Don’t reveal them until everyone has a stick!”

When it finally was Madara’s turn, he didn’t have much choice but to accept the remaining stick as the oldest of the four.

“Reveal your sticks on the count of three! One, two, three!” Hashirama exclaimed excited.

Madara blanched when all of them unfurled their fists to showcase each of their picks. Had he seriously ended up with one of the short sticks? Wait, if the other two had the two long ones, that meant that Tobirama and he—

Hashirama clapped him on the shoulder with a huff of laughter.

“Looks like you and Tobi share a room!”

“Wha—”

“Okay, now I need those back and the winner team picks one of two to decide who the winner of the room with the two single beds is,” the older Senju exclaimed.

When Itama picked the longer stick, Madara despaired internally.

How could his luck be this bad? Had he seriously just lost two times in a row? Also wasn’t the looser supposed to get to pick first and—

Wait.

Oh no.

His eyes widened and he paled even more when suddenly the realization hit him that he had to share a double bed with his cru- Tobirama for the upcoming two weeks here.

He was doomed.

Suddenly he didn’t even feel warm anymore.

#madatobi #madatobiweek2020 #madara #tobirama #tobimada #tobirama senju #madara uchiha #naruto #naruto fanfiction #my writing #izuna #izuna uchiha #hashirama #hashirama senju #senju hashirama #senju tobirama #uchiha madara #madatobiweek #madara x tobirama #madatobimonth #uchiha izuna #mito uzumaki #uzumaki mito #itama senju #senju itama #rookie writer here #queued post

[saltypicks]

reviewing may’s comebacks (in june, because i have shit to do)

There were a lot of comebacks this month. I guess it's summer now? No idea, there's no summer in my country. The girl groups have started coming back in full force but are not impressing. The boy groups seemed to mostly go the groovy route and now I need an adjective other than 'groovy' to describe songs.

Not The End, Highlight

I'm so glad it's not a ballad. It's not bad.

You are so beautiful, SGO

Everyday I'm grateful for the retro trend and this is a great representation.

Gray Area, Hi Cutie

At some sections I like this song (the verses and the chorus) and at others I dislike it (the trap breakdown, the middle of the chorus). I complained about MAJORS' company having no money previously but Hi Cutie's company is bankrupt. Poor nugus.

Dreamcatcher and GWSN have far superior 'Red Suns' but this song is okay and I'm happy the girls look so happy to have some work (and hopefully some money) at last.

Today, CITI

A nice midtempo song. And no, I did not hear it first from a drama OST.

Make Up Your Mind, AILEE

Sounds like a Beyonce-type song.

MALO, SHAX

Apparently this is a drama OST (Imitation, to be specific. It's based on a webtoon). Basic boy group song but it sounds like it's from the 2010s or something, and that's a compliment.

Hot Sauce, NCT Dream

Initially: Um...at least Renjun looks good? Honestly I don't know what to say about this song. NCT is a group I stan so this will definitely grow on me but...is this really not an advertisement for hot sauce? Also the set resembles the set for SHINee's Atlantis in my opinion. Now: The shouting is annoying and unnecessary. Love Chenle's voice in this; it provides a nice contrast to Haechan and Renjun. Someone said the chanting should've been left to the rappers and I fully agree. Don't know about Jisung and Jaemin but Jeno and Mark would be a good fit with a chant. In my opinion the dance break isn't really needed but is it NCT without a dance break? Also, wtf are they wearing around their necks? Someone should inform the SM stylists that less is really more.

DUN DUN DANCE, OH MY GIRL

It's light and pleasant but if this song was a meal it would be a tiny appetizer that tastes good but doesn't satiate you.

WHATEVER, KEEMBO

I didn't think I'd like it at first but this is groovy and makes me want to dance while doing my chores.

Always, VAV

Song for the fans but if you need a VAV song to listen to I recommend Gorgeous.

Hurt, Baekhyun & Seomoontak

Hasn't Baekhyun been shipped off to the army yet? Anyway, love how dramatic this is.

Waiting for Victor, 015B ft. Dawon

Another great retro song! Also the singer is cute and her hair is cute as well. She reminds me of Chuu a little.

Uncertainty Principle, 015B ft. Dawon

I prefer their other song, but this one is retro as well and it's great.

척하면 척, 강혜연 (Kang Hyeyeon)

Trot that's kind of subdued but still danceable.

Badly, SURA

Loved it from the first second.

BLACK MIRROR, ONEUS

Then: Is it good enough to make up for No Diggity? I don't know about that, but this song is groovy and I'm somewhat okay with it. Doesn't have much replay value for me though. Now: Eh, it's basic groovy boy group song but I won't skip if it comes on.

Breathe Again, BLITZERS

Another boy group with a somewhat questionable name. This song is pretty good as a debut and it's somewhat memorable. I wonder if my rating increeased because of the guitars? District 9 was the same for me, but right now it doesn't interest me. I think this song will stay for a good while on my playlist though. I like the anthemic vocals in the chorus and this song needed more of that.

EASY, WJSN THE BLACK

The girls looked good but the storyline kept getting interrupted by shots of the girls. Yes, we know they're all visuals but I'd be more interested if there was actual action and plot. The song is good objectively but doesn't really interest me. Who knows? Maybe a few more listens will change my mind.

Outerspace (ft. Loco), Kang Daniel

Groovy and better than his last two releases.

Giant, Yuqi

So nice to hear Yuqi's voice on its own. The song was fine until the chorus crushed all my love for it.

Glass of Tears, HONG JA

Appropriately dramatic for a song named 'glass of tears'. It's good and if you like trot you'll like this one.

Taste of Life, Yang Ji Eun

What do you call this? Folk trot? Whatever it's called, it's good.

LOOK AT ME, ICU

OK.

WE GO, fromis_9

It sounds like the token girl group summer song. I don't dislike it, but nothing about this song stands out to me. Honestly with a mini-album called '9Way Ticket' I expected more, because it reminds me of Nine Muses' Ticket everytime I see it. The b-side 'Airplane Mode' is pretty good though and the other one, 'Promise' is a slow song but I don't really mind it, it's fine as background music.

Next Level, aespa

Umm...what is SM's plan for these girls? How can a rookie group from the big 3 have only 3 songs? And only one is an original? The song is not the best thing ever and SM surely can do better but at least it wasn't as bad as M.A.F.I.A. aespa deserves more than this.

Ring Ring, ROCKET PUNCH

Finally after Bim Bam Bum these girls have a title track I enjoy. You can't go wrong with covering Take On Me, can you? It's no Platonic Love or Sea of Moonlight, and it certainly could have done without the rubbish trap section but it's a bop anyway. Meanwhile, the b-side Ride is great and I hope they promote it. This song would be more enjoyable if their voices weren't so shrill in the chorus. High notes aren't a necessity for good songs.

Advice, Taemin

Not the best of Taemin but it's good. I love the fast tempo of the piano and the way it drives everything. Taemin's performance also elevates this song and I'm grateful he's leaving us with a good song before going on his two-year vacation.

RUB-A-DUM, TRI.BE

They're really going all out with this 'tribe' thing, aren't they? It sounds very Middle Eastern to my ears at times, sometimes it sounds African-ish and the other times it is just typical trap kpop. DOOM DOOM TA was better and more fun. At least they got the catchy catchphrase right. Blackpink in your area who? Tri-bee da loca! The b-side 'LORO' is not much fun either. The only difference is it's Latin-influenced.

Shadow, Dreamcatcher

Typical Dreamcatcher song slowed down by a lot. It's not bad, plus it's nice to hear Dami sing. Also what is it with Korea and zombies? With the MV the song sounds a lot better but the MV distracts me. Shouldn't zombies be mindless? How do they use tools and know martial arts? Or is it just my eyes? And can that tiny gun protect anybody? Are you sure that's not a toy?

The beginning of spring, E'LAST U

Not horrible but not for me either.

Oh MAMA, BLING BLING

One of the few new ggs in a while with unfortunate names. They've clearly upgraded in terms of styling and MV budget, but their song quality is no different.

Let Me Know, PIXY

Sonically it sounds nothing like their dark concept. Actually it does sound like a dark concept, if done by a boy group. It's not bad but it's not good. The industrial-like sounds in the back are interesting but the whole song is not.

Son of Beast, TO1

TOO rebrands as TO1 with this song. It's groovy.

HAPPEN, Heize

For the first time I like a Heize song. The MV is interesting too, the story was cliche but I liked the visuals and aesthetics.

FEVER, ENHYPEN

Rhis song was from the [BORDER: CARNIVAL] mini. I listened to that mini but I remember not really liking any of the b-sides except the outro and the intro, so this is a surprise.

My Flower, Kim Jaehwan

Nice upbeat song with guitars all over it. I like it.

Corazon Perdido, Yesung (Super Junior)

Initially I wasn't going to review this because I didn't even review the title track but the final moments of this song are beautiful and it deserves a mention.

Butter, BTS

The song is smooth as its title. The MV is fine except for that ARMY thing; I cringed so hard.

Bonnie and Clyde, Yuqi

Better than the other one.

Ride, ROCKET PUNCH

This is so great and I'm glad it got its own video, even if it was just a dance video glorified as a 'Special Stage'. Now if only I could stop chuckling whenever I hear "looks rike a lainbow".

Rush Hour, GAHO

Love it, especially the guitar strumming moments and the chorus when the electric guitar comes in.

GEMINI, AB6IX

Love how the vocals don't distract from the great instrumental.

FIRST, EVERGLOW

In a comment section someone said La Di Da was a fluke and I kind of agree. Everglow returns to their usual style (chanty chorus + catchy riff repeated over and over) and this song is in the same vein as Adios. I like the chorus but the rest of the song is hard to recall. Siyeon, Aisha and Yiren are the only ones who actually look good and EU needs more lines and her blonde hair back. Also why does kpop think that moving the camera around a lot creates the illusion of motion? All it does is make me dizzy.

Like It Hot, GWSN

Sometimes I like GWSN title tracks, and sometimes I don't. I don't think much of this song, but their album is great.

Je T'aime, Joy

I love you Joy but this is boring. If it was meant to be a lullaby then SM succeeded.

Burned All Black, Kim Jaehwan

His other song is a ballad which is somewhat pleasant. Well, it was until it slowed down in the first chorus.

Purple, woo!ah!

Still not one song from woo!ah! I like.

GGOMA, Tae Ho (IMFACT) and Choi Ye Geun

Loved Choi Ye Geun's Scarecrow so I was happy to see her again. The song is groovy but the chorus sounds somewhat...empty? Love the scat at the end, should've been longer. This is also a great example of a bright boy group song. See? Upbeat and bright boy group concepts don't have to be childish.

DIAMOND, Sparkling

Another Imitation OST. I honestly doubt that there are actual kpop songs as bad as this.

7days Tension, Weeekly

Ad song. Bright and the chorus is nice.

0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You), TXT feat. Seori

The angsty opening line caught my attention, then the verse after it dropped the energy. It picked up again in the chorus and pre-chorus, thankfully. It's very much pop rock, except there are no guitars in this. Doesn't stop the song from being good though.

Hello, Joy

I love Joy's voice as always but this song doesn't do much for me even though it's upbeat. A few more listens might change my mind.

Call Me, Omega III

Another Imitation OST. Doesn't do much for me, just like all the Imitation MVs. At least let us understand what your drama is about. Instead we get these random shots of what idols are supposed to be like? I don't know much about idol life but it's obvious these girls would be called nugus in real life, and I honestly doubt nugus have such nice living conditions.

No Answer, LA LIMA

Jiyeon from T-Ara is on this one. This and MALO are my favourites from the Imitation OST so far. The song is nice with a sleek catwalk vibe to it but like the rest the MV is boring.

Show Me, Tea Party

Are these the Omega III girls? Not sure but I think so. MV still boring, song doesn't interest me.

Let me go!, The Volunteers

Great rock song, I just wonder why it's all in English (I'm not complaining).

#saltypicks #kpop reviews #reviews #monthly reviews #may '21

[showersnstudies]

showersnstudies: a (re)introduction

hello hello! i wanted to take the time to write a bit of a longer introduction about me and this blog—a little reflection, a little hoping and dreaming!

some history

this actually isn’t my first time here! i created this page back in 2018, when i was still a sophomore in high school. now, nearly 3.5 years later, i’m about to enter my sophomore year of college. back then, i didn’t actually end up posting anything. then, a little over a year ago, i was about to enter my freshman year of college amidst the pandemic, and thought it would be a good idea to document the experience. the graphics, theme, etc., that i made then, that’s the iteration of this blog that i have now! however, when move-in was just around the corner, my university cancelled housing for freshmen because of covid-19 and i was forced to begin my first year of college online. of course, health and safety come first, but it was still a disappointing start to an experience i’d anticipated for so long. with that, i became very busy and focused on putting my mental health and my studies first. this blog fell to the wayside.

so how did my first year of university go?

i ended up not only spending my first quarter of freshman year online, but winter quarter as well. in the spring, i finally got to go on campus and experience a bit of campus life! it was so fun to see everything in person, although many things were closed because of the pandemic. academically, i feel like i learned so much, and took so many great classes! i met so many amazing, intelligent, talented peers and instructors. i also got involved in different student organizations. i truly feel like my mind has been opened in just the one year i’ve been in college. despite the overall positive experience, there were still a few things i wish i did differently, and of course, i would do anything to be able to have a college experience in a world without covid-19. however, since i can’t do anything about that, i’m trying to get myself to let it go and make the most of the experience i’ve been given.

and that brings me to...

sophomore year! i still have a little over 3 weeks before i move back onto campus. i have a lot of hopes and dreams for this year. the word to sum all of it up is intentionality. even though i was very happy to be on campus last spring, there was so much going on at all times and my days became very unstructured. i let classes fall to the wayside, hung out with friends until 1 am and didn’t get enough sleep, or just spent my time on my phone. i am a full supporter of taking breaks and not just spending every minute studying, but i do feel like i didn’t make the most of my time and take all the opportunities i could out of being at university! this year, i hope to maintain a better balance between my studies, my jobs, my extracurriculars, my social life and relationships, and my personal development. let’s break this down:

a) studies - last spring, i found myself often doing the bare minimum in my classes. i dislike feeling like this, because i feel like i’m wasting my time and my money. if i’m going to have to spend time in my classes anyway, i want to invest the energy into truly gleaning all the information i can and actually benefiting from the educational opportunity i’ve been given. after all, that’s what i’m at university for.

b) jobs - i had two work-study jobs last spring that i’m continuing in the fall. one of them is with the school magazine, and i find it pretty boring and sometimes frustrating (the team is overwhelmingly white, and it is very much a publicity job for the university). however, because it’s journalism-related, i want to make the most of the opportunity and take the chance to glean skills and experience from it that i can use to advance myself in the industry. my other job is a new one that i’m excited about! i’m working as part of the asian american studies program’s office at my school. i hope that with this job, i can develop my socializing and community-building skills, which i lack quite a bit of. i know this is a position that’s going to push me out of my comfort zone, so hopefully i can learn a lot from it. my goal is to build genuine connections with the other staff members, the faculty, the students, and the community members!

c) extracurriculars - at the beginning of my freshman year, i got involved in a ton of different extracurriculars. almost all of my free time would be taken up by different zoom meetings. once i was on campus, i stopped attending a lot of meetings and dropped some orgs. because i anticipate that sophomore year will not give me the same flexibility in time that i had in fall and winter quarter last year, when i was sitting alone in my bedroom at home, i want to be more intentional about what extracurriculars i participate in. there’s no way i can do every single thing, so i want to choose activities that are meaningful and/or beneficial to me. then, i want to invest actual effort into these activities, which i think will help me feel actually passionate about my work, rather than simply participating on a surface level.

d) social life and relationships - there’s kind of two aspects to this. one is with my friendships and peers. i want to be in community with those around me and develop deeper relationships with people who i share genuine mutual care with. i want to be intentional about who i want to spend time with, and then spend effort actually cultivating those relationships. i found last year that i was constantly meeting so many people! it was hard to tell who was just an acquaintance and who i could consider a friend. there’s so many different levels to it, and i definitely found my relationships in college to be a lot different from those i had in high school. therefore, intentionality is the focus for me this year! the other aspect is ~networking~. there’s really no better way to put this haha. i left freshman year lacking any sort of relationship with professors or mentors or people in the industries i’m interested in. i got set up with a few mentors through different student orgs, but had no idea how to maintain or actually benefit from those relationships. i really want to start creating those connections with professors and peers! i’m honestly not entirely sure how, because i’m a very awkward and antisocial person, but i hope that taking classes in person will aid somewhat.

e) personal development - one thing i really want to do during my time at college is to grow as a person. of course, i think this is in many ways a natural process that occurs through such a big change, but i want to be more intentional about it. college is the perfect time to do this in my opinion, and i truly want to become the person i want to be (or as close as i can get). i hope that i can lead a life that gives me more satisfaction; that i can do things that fulfill me; that i can become a kinder and more compassionate person; that i can become more involved in community-building, life-giving activities; that i can strive towards achieving my dreams; and that i can overall lead a more balanced, intentional life. most of all, i want to be happier.

so what about this blog?

last year, when i started blogging on here, i told myself it would be a space of enjoyment rather than obligation. however, i quickly fell to creating methodical posts about my high school experience and had all these other plans for posts that, well, ended up feeling like an obligation. it made me lose motivation to continue posting, because i started creating all these rules for myself, like ‘i can’t post anything else until i finish explaining my high school experience and college application process!’ it turned out to be the opposite of my intention. so...let’s try this again. i think maybe this will become a more reflective blog, the kind i loved from ye olde tumblr (mid-2010s tumblr was honestly the best). less about graphics and aesthetics and more about the ~vibes~. a little community (hopefully!) but if not, just a place for self-reflection and self-growth and self-documentation. i’m guessing once school starts i’ll get super busy and not have a lot of time to do all this reflection that i’m envisioning, but we’ll see. hopefully i can develop a sort of routine where there’s at least time for me to document my college years, because they are so very short. :,)

that’s all for now! it’s still a while since i start school, but we’ll see where this goes! future april, if you’re reading this, i hope you’re closer to your dreams!

#showersnstudies #mine #personal

[popwasabi]

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

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